# Taking Care of It



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

If the spouse is away for a handful of days, is there anything wrong with just taking care of it yourself during that period of time? My wife is going to be out of town for part of next week and well, being alone for that long, it is highly unlikely that I could just go without anything.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

are you talking about masturbating? if so whats the heck is wrong with you? i will have sex with my wife twice and the go rub one out. my wife knows this she rubs one out all the time and so do it its natural and normal.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

A few days and you don't think you could handle going without? Really?

I don't see anything wrong with taking care of business on your own, but I also don't think going without for awhile should be such a big issue either. Personally, when my GF and I are apart for up to a week, we use that time to build up sexual tension. And then we release with a BANG when we get together. 

What does your wife think about the situation?

C


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

PBear said:


> A few days and you don't think you could handle going without? Really?
> 
> I don't see anything wrong with taking care of business on your own, but I also don't think going without for awhile should be such a big issue either. Personally, when my GF and I are apart for up to a week, we use that time to build up sexual tension. And then we release with a BANG when we get together.
> 
> ...


I have no problem doing it. But I know the wife doesn't like when she knows I do it. She knows I do, but she doesn't want to know that I did (if that makes sense). And going a week without doing it, that doesn't happen. I just wanted to get others take on it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

gbrad said:


> I have no problem doing it. But I know the wife doesn't like when she knows I do it. *She knows I do, but she doesn't want to know that I did (if that makes sense)*. And going a week without doing it, that doesn't happen. I just wanted to get others take on it.


You two have a don't ask, don't tell policy...on that subject, at least. 

Let me put it this way, gbrad... if you can't wait for her to get home, and if it doesn't interfere in your sex life, then do it. If it interferes, then don't. You've already said you do masturbate, so why would this be any different? :scratchhead:


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

my wife loves watching me do it (weird but hey who am i to argue she gives the bj's  )


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I don't think there is anything wrong with it.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Why tell your wife then? What you do to your own body is your own business. Make love to the person who loves you most...YOU!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> Why tell your wife then? What you do to your own body is your own business. Make love to the person who loves you most...YOU!


I disagree. It IS her business what he does with his body if it interferes with their sex life. And now masturbation is "lovemaking"? Are you kidding me? 

I stand by my original statement: since he usually masturbates anyway, then yes, do it. Still not sure what difference it makes if she's there or gone for a few days since, gbrad, you stated you do it anyway, but whatever. If it would interfere with having sex with your wife, then no, you shouldn't. If it wouldn't/doesn't, then do it. But please, don't romanticize it by calling it "lovemaking".


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I don't think either spouse has to inform the other when they masturbate or are going to masturbate.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> I don't think either spouse has to inform the other when they masturbate or are going to masturbate.


I respectfully disagree. I need to be informed when my favorite move is playing


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Each has their own views on *masterbation* and *privacy*...all I know is... because we DIDN'T talk about these things, we missed each other for many years ....which I regret.

We both learned we prefer each other over masterbation every time.....and if we could handle it - we would wait - just because that = hotter sex when we cum back together... but if it gets too HOT...we are free to "get off " ourselves & enjoy every moment, with some porn to boot ! 

My husband is a very odd man, he didn't







our whole marriage, he always waited for me, (his words, not mine)- he felt it was like "cheating"... when I learned this ... I was shocked, mouth hanging open... and had to inform him I was a "cheater" then!! And this shocked him- he was thinking my sex drive was low... 

I'll never forget the magnitude of this moment in our bathroom, this conversation... because what we learned was....







... we really screwed up NOT talking about sex! His Drive was higher than mine our entire marriage - while he was suffering, I was off doing my self some nights !


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> I disagree. It IS her business what he does with his body if it interferes with their sex life. And now masturbation is "lovemaking"? Are you kidding me?
> 
> I stand by my original statement: since he usually masturbates anyway, then yes, do it. Still not sure what difference it makes if she's there or gone for a few days since, gbrad, you stated you do it anyway, but whatever. If it would interfere with having sex with your wife, then no, you shouldn't. If it wouldn't/doesn't, then do it. But please, don't romanticize it by calling it "lovemaking".



So masturbating while your spouse is gone for a week will interfere with your sex life? Hardly. Why should I feel obligated to disclose whether or not I masturbate? I personally am embarrassed about the whole experience so to go blab and tell someone about it is not going to happen unless I choose to...because I want to, not because I have to.

_And now masturbation is "lovemaking"? Are you kidding me? _

You read into things to much...It was merely an expression


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## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

Did u ask her, or is the don't ask don't tell policy in effect?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Gseries said:


> Did u ask her, or is the don't ask don't tell policy in effect?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ask, no, I never ask. I just don't tell.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You are a HD guy and you need sex often.

If your woman has issues with you relieving yourself, she should be intimate with you much more often then!!! Can't have your cake and eat it too.

The only time I relieve myself is when my wifee isn't in the mood for 1+ weeks at a time, which is the norm because she is a LD woman.

Masturbating isn't being intimate and love making. Masturbating is relieving ones self from the lack of sex in the first place, which occurs in HD / LD relationships.

Do I tell my wife, I relieved myself because you're not in the mood? Of course not. It gets it out of my system, so when she is in the mood, its not that bad then.

Or you could do nothing, go out with the guys, pub, bunch of girls going out, one of them likes you......bam, sexy time. Now if you already got it out of your system, then the temptation should be gone.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> So masturbating while your spouse is gone for a week will interfere with your sex life? Hardly. Why should I feel obligated to disclose whether or not I masturbate? I personally am embarrassed about the whole experience so to go blab and tell someone about it is not going to happen unless I choose to...because I want to, not because I have to.
> 
> _And now masturbation is "lovemaking"? Are you kidding me? _
> 
> You read into things to much...It was merely an expression



"Just an expression"... ok, whatever. I've never heard the "expression" to "make love to yourself" until you said it. 

And yes, it CAN interfere. You have no idea of the frequency of their sex life, nor do I. Regardless, gbrad said she is going to be gone for a few days, not a week. I was speaking in general terms when I said "if it interferes with your sex life". As an example, if he were to masturbate the day before she gets home, but that prevents him from being able to have sex if she jumps him when she walks through the door the next day, that would be interfering in their sex life. But as a general rule, no, there is nothing wrong with it...especially since he said he does it on a regular basis anyway.




CuddleBug said:


> You are a HD guy and you need sex often.
> 
> If your woman has issues with you relieving yourself, she should be intimate with you much more often then!!! Can't have your cake and eat it too.
> 
> ...


Actually, CB, if you read his other threads, you would know more about the background with their dynamic. It isn't necessarily that he is HD and she is LD. Their schedules are mismatched as it is. Add to that, his admission that he's not particularly attracted to her anyway (she's not his type, never has been, but he married her anyway)... that plays a large part in it. 

The HD/LD argument isn't the basis of the question. He asked if it would be ok to masturbate while she's gone for a few days. And my reply is still valid... if he does it while she's there, why would/should it be any different if she's not? Unless, gbrad, you are afraid of the scenario I stated above (masturbate the day before she gets home and can't perform if she pounces the day she gets home)? If that is the case...well, you decide for yourself, of course.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'll never be able to understand the point of view of people who have issues with their partner masturbating *as long as it doesn't take anything away from the sexual energy between the two of them.*Some people act like beating off/rubbing one out is cheating!

Personally,I prefer to let the tension build til my partner returns but I may have a day or two where I just really want to orgasm so I handle it myself...then tease him with full details via text or phone call later.
Hiding it would p*ss me right off.That tells me the person is ashamed and it would make me feel we aren't as close as I'd like to be with my partner.

Your situation,Gbrad,is a whole different ball of wax than the situations of other men who want release while the mrs is away for a while.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Well CB nothing wrong with masturbating as long as one is not 
Lazy in satisfying their spouse and if goes on way to long. Especially if
Your wife has expressed wanted to have sex more often. This happens with me, I believe that my husbands gets too tired and lazy 
At night and would rather masturbate quickly in early AM then have sex with his living wife. Makes me so sad!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

gmabcd said:


> Well CB nothing wrong with masturbating as long as one is not
> Lazy in satisfying their spouse and if goes on way to long. Especially if
> Your wife has expressed wanted to have sex more often. This happens with me, I believe that my husbands gets too tired and lazy
> At night and would rather masturbate quickly in early AM then have sex with his living wife. Makes me so sad!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


but in some cases I see sleep vs sex as a very real life factor/decision. I wish I could stay up and take my time with W. Sometimes, the quickey is another form of self gratification, yes?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

I've choosen to go week or months without MB several times over the last year and a half.

It's an interesting experience. 

I sort of chuckle when I hear about people who *think* they can't go a few days without rubbing one out.

You *can*. You are just choosing not to.

I don't have an issue with MB, moral or otherwise. If people want to MB, I don't care if they do or don't. 

I just find the word choice and perspective interesting.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Maricha75 said:


> "Just an expression"... ok, whatever. I've never heard the "expression" to "make love to yourself" until you said it.
> 
> And yes, it CAN interfere. You have no idea of the frequency of their sex life, nor do I. Regardless, gbrad said she is going to be gone for a few days, not a week. I was speaking in general terms when I said "if it interferes with your sex life". As an example, if he were to masturbate the day before she gets home, but that prevents him from being able to have sex if she jumps him when she walks through the door the next day, that would be interfering in their sex life. But as a general rule, no, there is nothing wrong with it...especially since he said he does it on a regular basis anyway.
> 
> ...


If I anticipate that sex could happen the day she gets back, I would probably give myself a little cushion of time. But regardless, if there was no not a full day cushion, I could still give it a go if I wanted to.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

gmabcd said:


> Well CB nothing wrong with masturbating as long as one is not
> Lazy in satisfying their spouse and if goes on way to long. Especially if
> Your wife has expressed wanted to have sex more often. This happens with me, I believe that my husbands gets too tired and lazy
> At night and would rather masturbate quickly in early AM then have sex with his living wife. Makes me so sad!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree with the comment about being too tired and lazy for the actual sex sometimes. There are times where I have the feeling that I just want to get off and be done with it. But I don't have the physical or emotional energy for actual sex.


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