# Fiances Female Friends



## bfflove (Nov 26, 2011)

My Fiance of 2 years has a few friends of the opposite sex and I have no problem with that but I have had concerns about some of the inappropriate names giving to each other and "inside" jokes that they share...My fiance says its nothing and that Im reading into it too much..and that the friendships were build long before we met and I shouldnt look at them as a threat.. My arguement is that I feel disrespected when another woman is calling my man "Baby" and "Boo" My Fiance even went as far as threatening to leave me when I suggested that he stopped talking to these women.Am I giving in or am I over thinking things?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

While I believe people can have good friends of the opposite sex, there certainly need to be boundaries. All communication needs to be open. Therefore, the inside jokes and "pet" names should probably go. Are the nicknames also used by his male friends? If not, these women are probably too close for comfort.

Are these women willing to make friends with you? And include you in activities they share with your fiance? The fact that your fiance is willing to leave you over them is a red flag. You need to proceed with caution.


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## TiredandDazed (Nov 25, 2011)

I would have to agree with 827Aug. There is nothing wrong with opposite sex friends but there needs to some boundaries set. I've had this same issue with my husband and like you I wanted these women gone. I don't think that really is the best approach. Maybe if you really sit down and explain to him how you feel about the situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

bfflove said:


> My Fiance even went as far as threatening to leave me when I suggested that he stopped talking to these women.


OK, now you know where you rank in his life, and it is not on the top.

There is a great debate on this and other boards about opposite sex friends. Some say yes and some say no, but all side agree on one thing. There must be respect for the feelings of your spouse. He is not doing that here.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

There is NOTHING wrong with opposite sex friends.

The worst that could happen is they get emotion support from them instead of you, have sex with them behind your back, undermine your relationship, i.e. little stuff.

Stop being so controlling.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Locard said:


> There is NOTHING wrong with opposite sex friends.
> 
> The worst that could happen is they get emotion support from them instead of you, have sex with them behind your back, undermine your relationship, i.e. little stuff.
> 
> Stop being so controlling.


:lol:


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## TiredandDazed (Nov 25, 2011)

Im the fiance she talking about who is actually her husband. The funny thing about this is that it's okay for her to have inappropriate situations especially at work and with contact with ex-boyfriends. 

She was mad at me that I have friends that adore me, but she flirts and carries on relationships at her job. In fact, the reason why I know have her password for this is because she got caught screwing a work pal. The same work pal that Ive always had an issue with.

Why would I ditch my friends if I know/knew that she has crazy situations. What's good for me should be good for her. 

I don't have those line crosses that she has had. Oral sex exchanges at work, putting my life in danger. Still shaking my head at her original post. My friends will always be my friends, especially when she has her "secret friends."

BTW, we've been married for almost 4 years. I'm not darn fianace.


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## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

TiredandDazed said:


> Im the fiance she talking about who is actually her husband. The funny thing about this is that it's okay for her to have inappropriate situations especially at work and with contact with ex-boyfriends.
> 
> She was mad at me that I have friends that adore me, but she flirts and carries on relationships at her job. In fact, the reason why I know have her password for this is because she got caught screwing a work pal. The same work pal that Ive always had an issue with.
> 
> ...


If this and the original post are true, I feel sorry for both of you. The loss of trust can be a relationship killer, and reciprocal cheating makes you both seem like third graders. You both need to grow up and decide if you want to be together.


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## TiredandDazed (Nov 25, 2011)

ChelseaBlue said:


> If this and the original post are true, I feel sorry for both of you. The loss of trust can be a relationship killer, and reciprocal cheating makes you both seem like third graders. You both need to grow up and decide if you want to be together.



Never cheated on her. Any people man or female that I know has been in my life before her. She did confront me on something that she read that was an exchange between a long time friend and myself. The exchange was very private and I never thought it would get out. Worst that my friend said is hey what's up sexy. Now again, this is through candid emails over several months. Friends would ask me what I'm doing this weekend, as they knew I'm a self-employed business owner and that I like to go out. My wife has met all these people she's speaking about on here. 

At the same time however my wife wants to tell me who I can't and cannot speak to, yet flirt with men at work where she said "if I wasn't married I would **** you." At the time she wrote this she felt it was okay to contact ex boyfriends, as well as co-workers for night caps. I knew all these yet she tells me to give up my friends but she's still keeps in contact with hers. 

After getting hold of private messages actually last night I finnaly found what I was suspecting. The body parts, picture exchange, the lets find a spot at work to do oral, the I want to fock you right now. All this happening unprotected. The same guy is supposed to be married also. My wife has this twisted. She is the one bring drama to our lives. She goes to work and pretends to be something she's not. 

I work my ass off to acquire a house and a co-op apartment in NYC to provide for a place for my wife and kids. Never thought my wife would expose me to such a situation. Here I am about to go to the doctor to get a rapid HIV test when I was a married man that thought I wasn't exposed to that. 

I just so happen to see this saved in the same secret email that i found the exchange and thought it amusing that she said I was doing all that. I haven't cheated on my wife and up until today with me not knowing that she was going to "hook up" on the 4th floor equipment room, she was the love of my life. What's most hilarious, while not funny now but I will certaily laugh at it later in life I hope is that she cheated with a guy that can't do much of anything for my kids. This totally focks up everything i imagined for my family. Coming from a hard working single family minority home I never wanted to be like my Dad and always wanted the best for my wife and kids. I'm here now nervous about going to the doctor and have to figure out how I'm going to pick up the pieces. This will be a test for me.

You guys enjoy your website.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Just break up. Do not get married.

Abort. Abort.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

read whats happening - they already married.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

TiredandDazed said:


> Never cheated on her. Any people man or female that I know has been in my life before her. She did confront me on something that she read that was an exchange between a long time friend and myself. The exchange was very private and I never thought it would get out. Worst that my friend said is hey what's up sexy. Now again, this is through candid emails over several months. Friends would ask me what I'm doing this weekend, as they knew I'm a self-employed business owner and that I like to go out. My wife has met all these people she's speaking about on here.
> 
> At the same time however my wife wants to tell me who I can't and cannot speak to, yet flirt with men at work where she said "if I wasn't married I would **** you." At the time she wrote this she felt it was okay to contact ex boyfriends, as well as co-workers for night caps. I knew all these yet she tells me to give up my friends but she's still keeps in contact with hers.
> 
> ...


What the hell? You found out she is cheating after she made this post?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I doubt any straight guy would be comfortable with his wife having intimate straight male friends. This is because we know how men think.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

oh wow! What a thread!!!!


You both have issues regarding each other's point of view about the opposite sex friends. 
Sounds like you don't respect much the boundaries that you have set for each other.


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