# Creating child monsters, spoiling kids



## preso

My husband ex has FOR YEARS been bad mouthing him to the kids and spoiling them with expensive things they did not earn ( new cars, laptops, high dollar video games, expensive clothing, etc)...
Now one of the kids is 20 and it's all blowing up in their mothers face as they are smashing up the cars, running them out of gas and oil, losing expensive cell phones on a weekly basis, and COSTING HER A FORTUNE !!!
:rofl:
Thats what she gets for the way she treated them, like pampered poodles and not children who needed to be raised to deal with the adult world.

She has now encouraged the 20 year old to come back into her fathers life as the ex wants to shove off the monster she created on someone else.
Dad isn't falling for it..... his daughter is quite shocked.... she is crying she has to work and its soooooooooo emabarrising !:rofl:

She cries, she applied for a job at a bank as a teller but they offered her a job cleaning the bank...:rofl:
and she has no idea why people are so rough on her in the world !:rofl: She has dreams, big ones, like she wants to know where to apply for medical school.. hahaha
and she has no pre-med !!! she has nothing but a few years of serious partying on her resume !

Hey guess what.. your not doing your kids any favors spoiling them, it will only make them unprepared for the real world !!!
and not to mention how expensive it will be to keep them in all the gifts and fancy lifestyle you told them they deserved...:rofl:

My husbands kid will survive and grow from this but his poor ex....:rofl:... its going to cost her 10's of thousands she does not have to keep them in their lifestyle.

His daughter is soooo confused ! It is downright funny what she sometimes says... its plain to see she has no concept of reality !
but...
she is young and will recover although it will require some hard knocks, she will come around.

I can only say, husbands ex is like a poster child of why you should not spoil kids !


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## lost1234

WTF????

what kind of step mom are you? FOR YEARS...and you have been there for the duration and never encouraged YOUR husband who is HER father to do ANYTHING about it? so now you sit back, call names and laugh at his ex????
I suspect you are only waiting around for the son(mentioned in other posts...you know the DUMBASS??? did nothing about that all along either huh???) to become an adult so you can do the same to him...

YOU HAVE PROBLEMS!!! deal with them!!! complain your h is a workaholic, is he really doing it to CUSHION his retirement??? something else to think about...awful disgustingly awful!


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## lost1234

i want to apologize for seeming heartless...i am not. the things you are talking about appear to me that they are things that you could have helped to turn around...sorry!


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## trev

Big shame for all concerned that the children wernt loved and raised in a warm loving enviorment rather then hurt by point scoring !!! guess what no one wins !!!

lets hope that they dont go on to raise there own children in the same way !!

I have children of my own and adopted children they are spolit with time and love ...

i cant belive that you can find it so funny that a child is struggling !! spend that time helping her


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## preso

Sorry his daughter does not live with us and she refused to have a relationship with her father for years. She is only coming back around now because her mother is getting tired of supporting her and telling her to leave, move out, etc...
There was nothing we could have done, we tired and tried and husband got tired of her excessive demands.

Now it all falls on the woman who created the monster child, as she is the one who put them in the lifestyle she did and told therm they deserved it. Now she will have to do what she can to make sure her daughter can move out, not us, as we have only seen her a few times. Last time we saw her she was saying how her car ran out of water and blew up and how she needed a new one. Husband told her her options all resulting from her getting a full time job.

She did not like that. too bad... as we are not the Rockerfellow family and she will have to find a way to support herself, like it or not, just like everyone else has to.

This is true, no one wins, but at least his daughter is starting to get a taste of reality and how the world works. I'm afraid she is behind in many ways, but she is only 20 and can catch up easily with some effort. She is certainly not happy she will have to actually work full time. That she will not get a new BMW for her 21st birthday ( yes , she asked) 
It is all we can do to not laugh at her... as its so ridiculous !!!

too bad... this is how it's going to be if she likes it or not.
The only one to win now is his daughter and she will have to do that on her own, by going to work.
That in itself will be the answer and solution to a great number of problems his ex created.

A giant reality check !!!


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## trev

and maybe a little guidance ??


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## lost1234

thank you Trev! now i know i am not the only one seeing something more wrong here!


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> WTF????
> 
> what kind of step mom are you? FOR YEARS...and you have been there for the duration and never encouraged YOUR husband who is HER father to do ANYTHING about it? so now you sit back, call names and laugh at his ex????
> I suspect you are only waiting around for the son(mentioned in other posts...you know the DUMBASS??? did nothing about that all along either huh???) to become an adult so you can do the same to him...
> 
> YOU HAVE PROBLEMS!!! deal with them!!! complain your h is a workaholic, is he really doing it to CUSHION his retirement??? something else to think about...awful disgustingly awful!


I am not a step mom in any way but a legal name, his kids do not live with us and I do not and have never parented his kids ( although his adult daughter is hinting if she can move in with us and the answer is no, as she will not work). They have not even been in our lives for many years because they refuse to be unless their father buys them expensive gifts, and he can't as we are not rich.
As far as our retirement, I am already retired and my husband will be too in a few years, at that time he will get a pension, like I have. We have worked all our lives to retire and plan to take care of ourselves and not be a burden on anyone or society. That is what responsible people do and what we are doing. I do not see we have a problem. We are doing what we should be doing in life, being responsible.
He is cushioning his retirment by working overtime as there is a gap in years before he will qaulify for Social Security benefits. This is what most people do who retire before age 62. We will be pensioneers !!! 

I guess you do not understand how this all works but we are very responsible people who are down to earth. I am tolerant of the fact I have to wait a few more years before husband is qualified for his benefits, but I'm dealing with it.
He is far better than most husbands, I am realizing that more and more. Most people don't even get the chance to retire, so we are blessed with that.


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## preso

trev said:


> Big shame for all concerned that the children wernt loved and raised in a warm loving enviorment rather then hurt by point scoring !!! guess what no one wins !!!



I know. We did the best we could with what we had to work with. I only hope that the next few years is as painful to his ex ( as she created the child monsters) as it has been for us the last few years.
The 20 year old is smashing up and ruining her car because she wants a new one. This month alone, husbands ex has replaced the engine. ( cha- ching) 


far as their kids, they claim they don't want kids. It's a good thing they don't have any as they are certainly in no way parent material.


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## trev

no one is saying you have to buy them expensive gifts !! it was the fact that you laughed at how they are now struggling !! that bothered me .
the facts are they are now in contact with there father , help them by guiding them to make good choices in life dont laugh at how they are struggling !
you have the chance to make a difference !! but do you want to ?


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## trev

i wouldnt wish pain on anyone just deal with what you have in front ouf you kids needing a little guidance ..
I hope that they go on to be fantastic parent ones that dont let there children down , love and time cost nothing


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## preso

trev said:


> and maybe a little guidance ??


We are directing his daughter about full time work, since she has suddenly appeared in our lives ( with her complaints and problems). She has a giant adversion to it, prefering to take art and gym classes, yoga and music lessons at the local college.
When she complains not having gas money, husband guides her in a realistic way telling her to stop getting her hair done at the salon, and do it herself, stop with the artificial nails and other ways she can save money... none of which she likes.

I have also mentioned to her about ways to save money by buying her clothing at thhrift stores and not the mall, she doesn't like that either but at least she is getting some good help in seeking other options than mooching off her parents. She is 20, not 8.


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## preso

trev said:


> no one is saying you have to buy them expensive gifts !! it was the fact that you laughed at how they are now struggling !! that bothered me .
> the facts are they are now in contact with there father , help them by guiding them to make good choices in life dont laugh at how they are struggling !
> you have the chance to make a difference !! but do you want to ?



yes we laughed under our breath, and a lot when she left.
Her ideas, like to smash up her car so "someone" buys her new one
are ridiculous.
They do not want choices, they want presents... she has already picked out her new BMW.
So.. there is nothing to do but laugh, as we are not the Rockerfellows.

I asked her why she isn't working full time and she said she has no time with all her classes. Her father said, to drop the classes and look for full time work... she grimiced and said she had no time to look for a job. She did go to the bank at the corner and applied for a tellers job and said she was highly insulted by the interview and the man offered her a job cleaning.
so........... this is real life hitting her right sqaure in the face. It is funny to watch, as she is falling from that high horse and it "IS" funny. As they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and she has a long fall as she is figuring out she has to grow up and her mother is tired of playing the bribery games as they have backfired miserably upon her... and she has created child monsters !

ps, yes people are saying we SHOULD buy them expensive gifts, his ex and his daughter are... and we refuse.
His ex called and told my husband that KIDS COME FIRST !!! and she was refering to her 20 year old and to help her buy her daughter the BMW, which my husband refused to do.
Guess his ex will have to work some overtime and buy it for her, herself... and thats pretty funny to us that she created such a miserable pit for herself which only she will have to pay for now !

I bought a new car for myself a few weeks ago, his daughter was eyeballing it. I told her
"don't even think about it, not going to happen"
and she didn't like that either.

too bad !!!


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## trev

I dont think it matters if shes 8 or 20 ... the fact is she just needs someone to be there for her doesnt warrent laughing that shes struggling !! I still turn to my parents for guidance and help is that so wrong ? 
just because you reach a age doesnt mean you dont need help 

maybe look at things from a different angle , tell her your glad shes in your lifes rather then telling her to get a job !! good for her to go to college so many kids dont !! encourage that !!


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## trev

we have totally different parenting skills thankfully for my children !! you seem so bitter that they are in your life ..


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## preso

trev said:


> I dont think it matters if shes 8 or 20 ... the fact is she just needs someone to be there for her doesnt warrent laughing that shes struggling !! QUOTE]
> 
> 
> yes realy been struggling to keep up a lifestyle she cannot afford, and neither can her mom anymore as her mother did not expect them to PLAY GAMES WITH HER TOO !
> and husbands ex is going broke too.
> 
> I am not bitter at all... I'm happy this is all coming to an end and my husband has woke up to it all.
> He even told her last time she was here, he did not trust her at all and would not be buying her anything, all he could offer her was time with him and NO MORE, so to stop asking for presents.
> 
> I felt very proud of him to finally put it to her point blank.
> Don't know if theres any hope at this point for his daughter except to roll up her sleeves and start scrubbing commodes, as that is the only work she's qualified to do. If she doesn't like it, she's going to have to get serious about classes and start taking something in school to get herself a job.
> 
> Spoiled kids are out of luck when the one who has been spoiling them can't anymore. We are certainly not going to take over what her mother has started, nor can we.... nor should we be asked to.
> 
> Guess I could offer his daughter a job cleaning our house but to be honest I don't trust her on so many levels. She doesn't know how to clean and she might steal from us. So she will have to get a job in the real world, and take what she can.


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## trev

Nothing like encouragment !!!! to make a child feel loved and wanted !! 

so good that she has so many great role models !! shes been let down by every adult in her life !! 

I hope she goes on to become very happy and successful ...the children arnt the monsters !! its the adults in her life that are !!! 

It is never funny to laugh at someone struggling it doesnt matter if they are 8 or 20 ...

i wont be commenting on this again ...... of to spend some time with my fantatic spolit with love children !! try it


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## preso

trev said:


> we have totally different parenting skills thankfully for my children !! you seem so bitter that they are in your life ..



I am not her parent and have not even seen much of her. I am the one who is tolerating her in my home to give her a chance to get some advice from her father, none of which she likes.

She has apparently come around because her mother is asking her to move out and she hopes to move in with us. It's not going to happen, she is going to have to get her own place if she can't get along with her mother and follow her rules.
We are not her personal bank and in no way did we create the sense of entilement she has, nor should we pay for it or tolerate it.
Her mother is a monster, I agree.

As far as her father, he has not been in her life, because she refused to see him... he wouldnt buy her cars and presents like she wanted.
Her mother is certainly a monster and super bad parent. There is no way to undo the damage she has done. At least her mother has put her into psychotherapy after she had serious fits and threatened her.
I'm only glad all the girls anger is going where it should be going, to her mother !

There is a God !!!


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## TNgirl232

I dont' think any of the other posters were saying its now your job to keep her up to the life she's use to.

However, a little compassion would not be amiss here. Telling her flat out you don't trust her - is a bit harsh. Has she stolen from you or done something else bad to you to bring this about - other than asking for presents, etc? You have every right to tell her your not buying her stuff - don't get me wrong. 

She didn't raise herself to be like this - her mother did. She's having a hard time adjusting to the real world - as most people would who now suddenly have to fend for themselves without any prep. 

You come across as sounding like she deserves this - like she is somehow to blame. She isn't - at this point - her mother is. Now if she can't get adjusted over time, then some of the blame will fall on her shoulders.

Do you have kids of your own? I just ask because if you did - could you imagine someone laughing at their struggles - no matter what caused them?


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## preso

I am saying, ITS HER MOTHER WHO DESERVES THIS !!!
and her mother is paying dearly !

Never in our wildest dreams did my husband or I think it would go down like it has. We had no idea how badly his ex's doings would BACKFIRE ON HER !

We are polite to her but firm when we see her, but some of her requests are funny and no one, including you or anyone could help from chuckling over some of the stuff she says, like needing a new BMW because her car is broken... lol

His daughter will have no choice but to grow up as she is bering forced out of her mothers home as she is getting to be too expensive for her to maintain. We have let her know, she needs to get her own place, she can't live with us and should work full time... all up and up staright shooting stuff with no games.

All things she is adverse too, but that is life and we must all work
or have the means to suport ourselves. Thankfully she is just 20 and not 40 ! 
and she will have no choice but to come around.

Her father has been more tolerant of her games than you could imagine. I do not know of any men who would have tolerated the abuse and bad treatment she gave him for so many years !

As far as her mother... she is getting everything she deserves. I could not have ever imagined how this would work out and the 
problems his ex was making for herself. She deserves it too...
We are so thankful, his daughter is giving the problems and laundry list of desires to his ex and not us... as we did not create these problems.
Its going right where it should, and maybe his ex will finally go to counseling as she really needs some help.


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## lost1234

here is the million dollar question? do you have any children of your own?
if you are a parent the understanding of that role in life has been completely overlooked! I would have sympathy for your children.

if not, thank god! history repeats itself. the last thing we all need is more self centered, uncaring, uneducated people who will someday be running our world...


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## humpty dumpty

Lets hope that history doesnt repeat itself !

very sad !! makes me feel a little mad to be honest


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## preso

humpty dumpty said:


> Lets hope that history doesnt repeat itself !
> 
> very sad !! makes me feel a little mad to be honest


My husband and I spent many years being angry too
but it seems now we have some relief as things have seemed to turn around and we are no longer the bad guys.
We no longer have to endure the fits, phone calls and unrealistic demands......
AS WELL AS RIDIULOUS DEMANDS ! 

I never dreamed my husbands ex would pay so dearly and she is the poster child of why you should not spoil kids.
His daughter was telling us that her mother cut off her bi-weekly tanning at the salon, how dare she... lol

:lol:
all we tell her is to get a job and sooner or later, she's going to have to, but the thing is... her mother will NEVER be able to make up to them what she has done to them, give them so many rights and entitlement with NO RESPONSIBILITIES !

We are smelling like roses, as we have done nothing but endure and endure. Now its his ex who has to do the teeth gritting.

My husbands ex has also too recently had her BF move in with her and daughter says she doesn't like him, mad because her mother had someone move in without her aproval, which started this all between them, and why she is having to either move out or suck it up.


I can only hope husbands kids do not have kids of their own, at least not until they grow up, which should be in 10 years after they get away from her awful mothering !


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> here is the million dollar question? do you have any children of your own?
> if you are a parent the understanding of that role in life has been completely overlooked! I would have sympathy for your children.
> 
> if not, thank god! history repeats itself. the last thing we all need is more self centered, uncaring, uneducated people who will someday be running our world...



I am about to turn 51, I do not have kids. Good lord, I'm way too old to be dealing with kids !
:lol::rofl:
more so adults who want to be !:rofl:


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## lost1234

what in the world were you angry at? I havent heard anything but refusals for what you have not done or will not do.

maybe the ex spoiled these young people, but it seems others stood by and watched it all take place?

why cant they be taught some of lifes lessons instead of throwing them to the wolves of the real world?

again i am curious do you have children of your own?

if not maybe that is the source of the bitterness...if so how well are they doing in their lives today?


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> what in the world were you angry at? ?


Please try to stay on topic and read the posts. We were angry over the demands his kids made upon us and refusal to see him unless we met them. Demands placed in their heads by his ex.
New cars, money, expensive toys, all already told about in this thread.

I am not going to answer any more of your posts as you are trying to pick fights rather than read what I am posting. Stop trying to start a flame war.



lost1234 said:


> why cant they be taught some of lifes lessons instead of throwing them to the wolves of the real world?
> 
> ?


They do not live with us for the 12th time and we have not seen them per their choice !
geeeesh. ITS THEIR MOTHER THROWING THEM OUT !

How many times do you ask the same question?

I am not asking for any advice, just telling of what has happened in the saga of husbands ex and her games. 
It backfired.. ON HER !


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## lost1234

Theres the problem...its all about yourself...! the understanding and compassion is not present either, hence all of the sarcasm.

I can only speak for myself here, but why in the world would someone who does not have children, and I quote..."I am not a step mom" even find their way into a parenting and family forum??
simply is appalling to me!

people come here with genuine problems and concerns looking for advice and kind words of wisdom from others who are or have been in the same place they are...NOT someone who has no experience in the situation.

Best of luck in the quest to make sure their lives are made to be even worse than they are. I know it would make me feel like such a better person...just knowing i had a hand in throwing another young individual's future under a bus!

I will not be commenting again...my daughters need to be enlightened on the bad people that are put there in our world. i am going to take the time to help educate them myself!


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> I will not be commenting again...


thanks


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## Blanca

wow preso that was really sad reading what you wrote. what's sad about your post is not for the kids, but for you. its a reflection about how you feel towards yourself and how you feel you've been treated during your hard times. so i feel sorry for you, really. you must have had people laugh at you when you fell. there must not have ever been anyone there to comfort you. even if you did deserve what you got from your own stupidity, it doesnt make it hurt any less.


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## TNgirl232

You don't seem to realize that the mother 'getting what she deserves' isn't really happening - she'll shove these kids out the door to fend for themselves and they aren't prepared to due to their upbringing. I can tell you don't have children - I don't think a mother could ever have these feelings for anyone else's children. They are innocent in how they are raised with no control in the matter. Your husband could of fought for custody if he/you thought it was so bad for them...but then again he couldn't of married you if he did that (as you wrote in another post, you wouldn't of married him if he'd had custody of his spoiled brats). They may be better off without you in their life - you are coming across here as a wicked stepmother.

But I don't think anything we say here will effect you. You are convinced that you are right and that the rest of us are just to thick to understand how funny this really is.


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## preso

Blanca said:


> wow preso that was really sad reading what you wrote. what's sad about your post is not for the kids, but for you. its a reflection about how you feel towards yourself and how you feel you've been treated during your hard times. so i feel sorry for you, really. you must have had people laugh at you when you fell. there must not have ever been anyone there to comfort you. even if you did deserve what you got from your own stupidity, it doesnt make it hurt any less.


I can't tell you how much I dislike his kids. I have never been treated so badly. I got tired of his daughter screaming in my face and having fits, coming over with his mother to my home and making bullshyte threats because I was dating my now husband. It's true I don't like her and my husband says he can't blame me after all she has done. He himself says after all she has done in the fits and tamtrums, he does not trust his daughter at all. My husband has been good in all this and I have many friends who I was able to talk to threough the years when it was severe, thankfully.
I am just SO BLOWN AWAY HOW ITS COME DOWN !!! ON THE SOURCE OF THE MATTER, HIS EX ! 
and she is paying through the nose for the monster she created
and my husband and I are FLOORED
as well as happy ... as she really deserves it ! It is justice in its true form !:rofl:


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## preso

TNgirl232 said:


> You don't seem to realize that the mother 'getting what she deserves' isn't really happening - she'll shove these kids out the door to fend for themselves and they aren't prepared to due to their upbringing. .



I think they'll be ok, the fact is this. His daughter is in this situation now and she has a good running car, plenty of time, in good health and every opportunity to work.
She is better off than most people her age and has had years of opportunity to get started. If she must clean tiolets, it will only humble her........ something she actually needs.
She may have to get rid of her laptop or not be able to afford internet for awhile, not get her tanning, her hair and nails done at a salon, she may have to eat beans, rice and NO MORE TAKE OUT... none of which will kill her.
She will maybe have to think about getting a room-mate and actually have some responsibility to pay a bill, something she has NEVER DONE !
She may also not date so many guys and play head games, because when they come and fight in the yard, her landlord may not like that and she will learn she isn't the only person in the world. 
All things good for her. 

We all have to start somewhere, including her and she has been given 2 years to start, not doing a thing except playing and having a good time, not even finding full time work or trying.
She seems to think she should start in the middle or top of jobs and work up, not realizing how many people came from the top of jobs and worked down, because of the economy... as she is so self centered. She is applying for jobs now and insulted by the interview process and the jobs she is being offered. Too bad, guess she is going to have to take a meanial job if thats all she is qualified to do. This is life... and her wake up call.

My husband is not responsible for this situation with her. She has told him she can't help if she's been spoiled and coddled !!!
and she is not one to sweat or get dirty working. He told her she had to work, just like everyone else and he was no longer responsible for her, she is an adult.

I agree with him and after hearing him talk to her, I felt proud he is so down to earth and honest with her and also not going to take her BS. 

A lot of people don't even have a car at her age, she had a new car while still in high school. No responsibilites of its car or maintenance at all. I guess she is going to have to learn the hard way and clean tiolets now.
Someone has to do it and if she doesn't like it, she will be inspired to do something about it.
I don't feel sorry for her or responsible, and do not feel her father is either as I have seen this go on for many years. Her fits and tantrums don't work and she is going to look pretty silly
trying because we aren't buying it. I don't think employers are going to buy it either.
If she chooses not to work full time and become a prositute or dancer, all we can wish and hope for her is that she tries her best and becomes the best, as not everyone has full time traditoinal type jobs and if that is what she chooses, then its her choice.
We can't do anything about it if she is lazy... if she is so lazy she goes hungry, it will only serve to inspire her to wake up at 7am and go to work instead of sleeping all day until 1am.

My husband and I have gone through a great headaches and problems due to her outrageous behavior and fits, tamtrums.. all in order to get her way. We have had to call the police on her before and we were blamed and screamed at because she wanted to take a vacation and wanted the money to go to Barbados with her friends. She is very pushy and stubborn... and UNREALISTIC !!!
Just think if she applied that to a job, like waiting tables how well she could do. We are not responsible for her being lazy / unappriciative/ spoiled/ moody and pushy/ etc etc... and not going to be calling her to wake up and go to work or tolerate any of her fits.
She is far too old for that  I don't feel sorry for her and not worried she can't make it on her own. She worked things to her favor for many years, even in high school... so she can work others ( not us) if that what she chooses to do instead of working, as they say there is a sucker born every minute... although we won't be her suckers !
She is going to have to work full time... poor baby. I don't think her sweating / working full time will hurt her any... haha


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## katie jane

whos the child you or her ?? you sound very angry bitter and imerture ,, your behaviour would be better suited to the playground. 

I hope his daughter stays out of your life ..she deserves so much more then her so called step mom disliking her rather then working along side her trying to help her make a good chioce 

you clearly havent moved on and still spend far to much time trying to score points of his ex !! grow up !


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## preso

katie jane said:


> I hope his daughter stays out of your life ..!


I wish she would too !!!!!!!!!!
She came over and wanted to know how much money I had because she needed some !
e-gads. I told her father and he told her to mind her own business... that we were not her buddies she was going to mooch off of and scam !

I was so proud of him. There is nothing like being married to man with common sense !
Not some pathetic loser who is immature and gives into demands of a irresonsible young woman !

I hoped she would stay out of my life, but she has to keep being reminded what her limits are. I have no problems telling her the boundries and my husband backs me up as well as has his too !


I dont work anymore, I'm retired, she seems to think she has earned the same rights as I have... haha... I have asked her father to always be present when she is around as I don't care to explain it to her. He can... by telling her its none of her business what I do or he does, we are responsible adults. We don't answer to her ! and he seems to do a good job telling her.
I am very proud of him.


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## katie jane

yeah must be so good to come between a father and his daughter !!! way to go !!


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## preso

katie jane said:


> yeah must be so good to come between a father and his daughter !!! way to go !!



I think you have that wrong... its an adult trying to come between a man and wife, in ways she has no business.

Thats how it is, not how you see it, sorry to say.
If you want to spoil your kids, go ahead but you may end up in the situation my husband ex is in... paying high costs to keep them in the luxury you told them they deserved and had no responsibilites for.
That is up to you.


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## katie jane

I have no children of my own but i do have a fantastic stepson i love him and yes spoil him with my time i would never laugh at any misfortune .. its not about whos the best parent its about standing back ans seeing what you can do to help . It doesnt matter if shes 20 , she still needs your help and guidance my hope is that she doesnt give up life ...just like you have all seemed to given up on her 

dont be frightened to be her friend !!


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## preso

If my husband were on her side and supporting her ideas and thoughts/ beliefs, that would make him...........

as immature as she is. I thnk God I had enough sense to marry a man who was mature and responsible.
Even he says, he does not know why her mother did this to her, creating a delusional world, but she has.

His ex is a very immature woman, no doubt, and she will have to be the one to suffer the consequnces of her actions, as we are not going to allow his daughter to blame it on us or use us as an exuse to not "get real" and "start growing up" which inckude working and taking responsibility for ones life and actions.

With all rights come responsibilities. She has had all rights with no responsibilities. Can you imagine if her mother could afford to keep this up? wow... boggles the mind, but it explains people like Paris Hilton/ Lindsey Lohan/ Amy Wine house... and others like her.

total messes.




katie jane said:


> It doesnt matter if shes 20 , she still needs your help and guidance QUOTE]
> 
> She needs to get real and the only way to do that is for her to get on her own and start working so she can learn what responsibility is... and the laws of the universe... sleep all day and go hungry.
> Nothing we can say or do can make her learn that and we are not going to be manipulted by her into thinking she wants to learn anything from us.
> She does what she wants, when she wants... time to start walking the walk of an adult if you want the rights of one.
> This is something you can't teach to someone who thinks money comes from a trees. She has only come around because she hopes to latch onto us to support her unresponsible lifestyle or hoping she can move in with us since her mother can't afford the monster she created and telling her to leave.
> 
> What a great diservice for a parent to spoil kids. It is a very disgusting thing. I'm just glad we are smart enough to not become involved in the games of it all.
> Something my husband ex maybe did not realize, that it was going to fall back on her, not us !


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## lost1234

Im sorry Preso! I can not help but follow this, as I am a caring and compassionate person. I am glad that I am not the only person that is seeing this the way I am.
your husband IS responsible...HE is their father. He NEVER took any part in STOPPING the tantrums and fits...he was too busy listening to to his wife instead of his children.
My guess is the biggest mistake here was him choosing a marriage over his own children MO MATTER what the circumstances may have been! not to be incredibly personal, this has also made me wonder what broke up his first marriage? why was it you had people banging on your door? this is a very sad situation for all of those involved and you are masking it all by making fun of it...no one deserves any of it...


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> Im sorry Preso! I can not help but follow this, as I am a caring and compassionate person. I am glad that I am not the only person that is seeing this the way I am.
> your husband IS responsible...HE is their father. He NEVER took any part in STOPPING the tantrums and fits...he was too busy listening to to his wife instead of his children.
> My guess is the biggest mistake here was him choosing a marriage over his own children MO MATTER what the circumstances may have been! not to be incredibly personal, this has also made me wonder what broke up his first marriage? why was it you had people banging on your door? this is a very sad situation for all of those involved and you are masking it all by making fun of it...no one deserves any of it...


Your entitled to your opinion. 

although I don't see things your way at all. Could be the difference in our ages and lifes experinces. I am a responsible down to earth person, who has my life and shyte together.
My husband is an adult, not a child, I am lucky I was wise enough to marry a man who was. I am blessed because there could be mnothing worse than a man who was as immature as his immature offspring.

Yes, I happen to think its very funny his ex is not able to shove her problems off on us, geeee.... she must have underestimated us into thinking we were going to be responsible for problems she created ! Because we're not.


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## lost1234

I agree! we both have our opinions and they are very different...

Im not so sure that you or your husband are or ever were responsible, atleast as far as his children go. THEY should have been the biggest responsibility in his life...

I understand that his ex is pushing them off...more than likely on anyone, not so much the two of you. Im sure she realizes that if nothing was done before, it certainly wont be now.

maybe our ages and experiences have something to do with it, maybe not. I was not a spoiled child, I never wanted for anything though either. I have worked since I was old enough to babysit (after I was certified in CPR and passed a class about the aspects of caring for anothers children)...bought my first vehicle with the money as well as paying for its insurance and upkeep as well as gas. paid my own tuition in college.worked and supported myself until I married my husband who then took over the role of being the primary source of income. he works like a man on a mission...to be able to give his family all of the finer things in life,( if he wanted to he could retire at the young age of 42...as this was how we handled our monies...), which in our eyes are very simple things most of the time...his love and time... we also own our own business...that continues on without consuming much of our time.

maybe our lives arent so different, only the way we perceive and live them...


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> I understand that his ex is pushing them off...more than likely on anyone, not so much the two of you. Im sure she realizes that if nothing was done before, it certainly wont be now.
> ...



yeah you figure since she has custody she would have done more to parent her kids rather than try to bribe them. She did accomplish alienating them from their father to where they would not even see him and all of a sudden coming around since they have big issues with THEIR MOTHER now.
Too bad she wasn't a better mother. 

Guess she is the one who has to pay now, not just the higher car insurance premuims with their speeding tickets, all the expensive toys she has used to brobe them with ( cars, boats, laptops, vacations, high allowences) but will have to keep it up forever maybe.
Too bad for her. You would think with her being the childrens biological mother she wouold have done more, more so since they live with her 24/7 !
She is really going to pay the proice now and no one but her is going to have to deal with the monsters she created with all her bad parenting !
To say on topic.... the sure way to ruin ones life is to spoil kids, my husbands ex is the poster child of that !


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## preso

My husbands ex is complaining her insurance is now too high. With the speeding tickets her kids have got this year and all the vehicles, she has to pay over 3,000 A MONTH as she is in high risk now !

Not a very bright woman. She should have made boundries after the first speeding tickets. 
My husband always said she wasn't very smart and now its becoming very apparent !

I forgot to mention, she wants my husband to pay for half ! hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!
she is delusional !


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## lost1234

If i were her...i would MAKE them walk or stay home...we have 2 newer vehicles, a boat( which is mostly used for our chartering business) and several other toys, not to mention our home and we dont pay that much a month...


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## preso

lost1234 said:


> If i were her...i would MAKE them walk or stay home...we have 2 newer vehicles, a boat( which is mostly used for our chartering business) and several other toys, not to mention our home and we dont pay that much a month...


WALK ?
haha
They do not walk... they are too proud and spoiled to walk ! 
If they wrapped their cars/ boat around a police car and killed 5 people, they would still not walk.

Their mother would do anything... even sell her kidney to make sure
they NEVER had to do anything unleasent, which is 99.999% 
the problem..their mother does not give consequences for bad or irresponsible behavior.
When thewy are bad or irrespoinsible, lets say losing yet another expensive cell phone ( they lose or break about 4 to 6 a year), she just replaces it with a newer better one !


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## preso

katie jane said:


> whos the child you or her ?? you sound very angry bitter and imerture ,, your behaviour would be better suited to the playground.
> 
> I hope his daughter stays out of your life ..she deserves so much more then her so called step mom disliking her rather then working along side her trying to help her make a good chioce
> 
> you clearly havent moved on and still spend far to much time trying to score points of his ex !! grow up !



She is the child, trust me...
and I am far from immature. I dont even think I'm bitter in general as all my unhappiness is badsed upon my husband ex and kids.
I wish she would stay out of our lives too and you would think by 20 she would at least have some capacity to be able to have her own life.or at least some signs of maturity or even at the very least
RESPONSIBILITY

but we have not been so lucky due to her mother filling their heads up with nonsense.
Think what you may about me but I am far from the bad person your making me out to be.

as far as what she deserves, that ios part of the problem as she has been given too much... none of which she has deserved.
and why she is a monster brat.

ps, I am grown up.
way grown up..., maybe what I nned to do is come down to her level !!!!
that may be the answer to all these problems


excuuse my tyypos they are xanax induced.. I have had to turn to medication to deal with his kids.
I'll bet if you were in myu shoes, you would have not been as nice as I've been, sorry to say...
but that is the reality of it. Do not judge me based upon thinking this kid is any better than the picture I am making her and her brther out to be. In fact I am being easy on them to the brats they really are. They are in fact pathetic.

I am a responsible, down to earth woman. I have always been mature since I was a child, something called an old soul. I have my life and shtye together. No little monster brat is going to take that away from me. sorry.


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## preso

My husband has shielded me from much of his kids issues, as they are so ridicul;ous...
and over time, his kids have only gotten worse with all the lies and delusions they have despite our attempts ( many) to fix things.
In fact they are lazy, and feel they are above all others, no matter what... even if its concerning trival matters like not having the latest version of a new cell phone, etc.........

I have been working with him for years to resolve this with his kids.... ... like this.... with him making all the descions
now, I think its time for me to step to the plate as he is and has exhausted all his emotional resources.
I am going to meet his daughter under false pretenses and have it out with her.
and not going to be easy on her............
she will have no choice but to grow up in 3.5 seconds or flee for her life.............
I have run out of other options.
His kids bull stops now. end of story.... how they choose to do it, is not my concern, but it will stop one way or another... now.

I am going to be the one to tell them as I think my husband is too nice... and has a history of giving into them and maybe why they won't stop.


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## lost1234

i had responded to your pm...preso, it wont let me send it! please take a deep breath and talk to me! i am concerned and would like to listen...


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