# the worst new years of me life!!!!



## bluebubble (Jan 2, 2009)

I just need to get this out, hopping writing this will help
just had the worst new years of me life!!!!
I'm still confused and trying to go over the last few months and years in my mind but without getting into to much detail.
I just found out my husband of 3 years made an online profile to meet a man for long term discreet sexual encounters, read e-mails and MSN conversations from the one guy and now know he got together with his one new friend a week before x-mas. and the conversations started slowly at the end of Oct. now I had an inkling he was bi and I'm fine with it as long as he chose me. I'm a very opened minded person don't mind my hubby looking at porn and having sex toys as long as he doesn't cheat witch i have told him before all this .
from reading the messages and profile he states several times that he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me. in November he talked to me about some fantasies in the bed room and I asked for him to be patient with me as I slowly build up my comfortable level. but other then that I was opened minded and if it was important to him would try. I thought it was going pretty well slow but not bad. 
so what I'm wondering is after going out of my comfort zone and to be honest a little bit beyond the call of duty if you will starting in November. 
So why would he still meet his friend in mid Dec? still confused. haven't confronted him about it yet I need to think and decide what now. and trying to figure out how to ask my doctor for STD tests to be honest at the moment i feel em-barest to ask but now I just have no choice.

depressed and confused in the new year


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

What happened in November?


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## bluebubble (Jan 2, 2009)

to be honest he told me he would like anal sex. and wanted to indulge in fantasy's with fictional characters he likes that part is no problem I like said character and thouhgt they were atractive.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

I don't mean to be harsh but I am afraid you have been so opened minded that your brain fell out. Have you had unprotected sex with him since then, since you knew? Especially anal. The easiest way to confront him is the next time he wants sex. Ask him if he used condoms when he messed around with the guy before you. Then kick him in his nads. If you thought he could be bi, you mean you didn't ask him? Do you think that he would swear of men when you married him? What are you confused about? Your husband cheated on you with a man. He could have infected you with an STD. He risked the life and health of the woman he supposedly loved, and you are confused? Excuse me if I feel a little outrage on your behalf. Has the moral downfall of today's understanding of what marriage is, so infected you with the fear of being called judgmental, that you are unsure of what direction to take? If no one has ever told you. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO EXPECT FIDELITY FROM YOUR SPOUSE! THAT MEANS NO OTHER WOMEN OR MEN!

You are entitled to scream, yell, cry, be angry, and any other display of horror you wish. I give you permission, and I promise I won't think your closed minded. Get to a doctor and get tested. Oh by the way you have permission to confront the man that endangered your life and probably destroyed your marriage too.


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## bluebubble (Jan 2, 2009)

well I found out on the early afternoon about 1 hour before the party we were hosting of the dec 31 this meeting of his was the 17th and I believe we had sex (the regular kind) at least twice between then. (I should know but my mind is fussy at this moment) 
when we got married I had no clue he was bi just figured it out after the first year, yea I was a little slow on that. when we got in this relationship I told him its monogamous so no fooling around I stated very clearly no fooling around!!!. 
i've been going over in my head anything that could have been a warning for this but until I stumble on the messages I had no idea he seemed to act the same to me. our sex live hasent been fantastic due to my low sexual desire this year but I was making an effort to pleas my man. and here I tought I was making progress and being adventures 
but after doing more digging I found out he spent more on another new friend he has "no expectations" from this Christmas than me. I knew he had bought a gift for his friend but not that  I know it might sound materialistic of me but when the cash is tight and you spend $450 on a friend :scratchhead: what the F** , this friend truly doesn't know how much he spent.
I know I might be a little naive at time but i'm not a moron 
venting is nice.
still undecided how to confront him. but NO nookie from me. after I get up in the morning i'm calling my family doctor. god I never wanted to be waiting for this kind of results again( had to be tested for aids once before due to a possibly tainted blood transfusion)
if I'm lucky him and his new friend ended up not doing any deeds... but probably not


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You must shock him with your confrontation, in hopes of getting a fuller confession. If i may suggest. Take all of the correspondence you how found hi-light all the areas on it which infer that he has had sex with this guy. Spread them out on a table. Even if it covers the whole thing. And surprise him when he gets home. You must not worry about being delicate or possibly hurting him ( why you would, i don't understand). And hit him with both barrels. The most important issue at this point, even above your marriage is finding out if he used protection, not that you can believe a word he says. But he needs to be tested too. Then its up to you. I think this is a deal breaker. But who knows with what goes on today?


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