# Stages of Grief



## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

So did the second meeting of DivorceCare and it was about the stages of grief and how to measure recovery.

According to them I'm recovering because I have an hour here or there that my entire thoughts are not consumed by the divorce. Sure doesn't feel like I'm recovering but I guess I should believe them.

Still struggling with the thought of how she could throw 20 yrs away and now can not even talk about it. She says she is not ready to "Deal" with that yet it is still too early. Heck it has been since Feb I moved out and April since signed papers. I will try to hold off until Feb and then if still interested I will attempt to talk with her again. Hopefully by that time I have moved on and couldn't care less but right now it is still pretty fresh.

Thansk for listening.

Shoeguy


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Hi
She moved out April for another guy and Divorce is pending [it takes 12 months here] 
Most of the time I am okay. I still think a lot about her, what I lost, how and why, but am accepting it and working on forgiveness. It is really hard. 
I am lucky that I met someone else. It sort of takes your mind of all the rubbish when you are with someone who likes you! 

It helps that she keeps making Reconciliation noises then returning to her BF.. I gave very little emotional energy to the last "I'm sorry" Still dragged me back a month though!
20+ years of life together isn't going to just evaporate. It is going to cause some pain forever I think of it like an old injury that flares up now and again


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I can at least attest, that if it is happening to you guys, and to me too, then it must be normal.
I go thru that same phase on a daily basis off and on.
It helps me to know that I cant trust anything she says or does.
Would it be sh!tty of me to say I want to see her hurt like she hurt me? Sorry, human nature speaking there. 
And if I were to explain what I would like to do to her OM I am sure I would get banned from TAM permanently.
Gotta keep reminding myself its good for me that this has happened now, while there is time in my life to find someone most excellent for me, and actually get to "live" a good life rather than suffer all the time with bullsh!t.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Gotta keep reminding myself its good for me that this has happened now, while there is time in my life to find someone most excellent for me, and actually get to "live" a good life rather than suffer all the time with bullsh!t.


Man. Do you need a girlfriend! You need someone who is like you not the opposite. I sometimes think that we set ourselves up for this with our initial choice of partner.

Hit plentyoffish. Avoid women who say "No Baggage" Its code for "I cheated, don't want to talk about it"
Look for friends only. You will be surprised!
Get out there man


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