# Help!!! Marriage problems!!!



## Marmar (Jun 15, 2013)

Hello
I am new to this website, and also i’ve got married less than a year. The problem i am facing in my marriage life right now it’s not a thing that i can discuss it with my mother , my sister or even my best friend. And i’ve no idea how are members in this website are going to respond but i am just trying to see if i can get help. I’ve met my husband in university we were classmates we were dating for 7 years before we get married. During these years i’ve never thought we would get married even he didn’t thinkt we would get married one day but things changed and we end up married! I love him and he loves me. During all those 7 years being in relationship we got to know about every single detail of each other lives in past. Especially he told me the biggest secret of his life. He told me when he was 15 he was really close to his uncle’s wife, they had so much fun together but one thing led to another and they end up having sex!!! It happened once or twice and somehow his parents figures this out and his dad put an end to it. He told his son to even lie to his mother and tell her he did not do anything and they hide this from his uncle as well. When he told me this secret, i was his girlfriend and it did not bother me at all and i even mentioned because you were under 18 she actually used you. Until things changed and we got married, and i had to meet the uncle and the wife!!! The first time i met her i said Hi but inside i was saying hello B****! I couldn’t bear the fact that she slept with my husband, she was only few years older than me, but that time because i was busy with my wedding arrangements , i didn’t care about her that much till yesterday. His mother invited us for lunch and as we arrived she said the uncle and the wife are coming over too (the uncle lives in another city). The moment she said they are coming i just wanted to get out of there. I even mentioned to my husband i wanna leave!!! When they arrived i said regular greetings but in a very cold way and i ignored her, and again i mentioned to my husband it’s impossible for me to stay. I did not spoke a word to her. And thank god we left early after lunch. But my husband got mad and he believes the issue belongs to long time ago and i shouldn’t treated her like that. But i am sorry i can’t, the moment i see her i just want to kill her or take her eyes out!!! We had a huge fight yesterday over this matter and i said i do not have respect for the woman whom sleeps with another guy while she is married and have kids!!! And i said i don’t want to see her again and i don’t want to be in a same room as her. Eventually he agreed with me and we are ok now. Today his mother called, and she was like i love you very much, and i respect you and everybody knows that i adore you but do you have any problem with the uncle’s wife?!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did you ignore her yesterday did she do something? Did she tell you something?!!! At that time i said no everything was fine!!!! And i asked if the uncle’s wife said something? And she said no, but i wondered why you were different yesterday!!! Now that his mother brought this issue up! What can i do next time i meet this uncle’s wife???? If i avoid her then again his mom will ask questions and it will be bad for my husband, and somehow if she get to know that her son slept with that woman, things will get worse.
Any advise ladies?! 
PS: I am from a country that in some part of cities girls get married by the age of 18/19. When my husband was 15 the uncle wife was 18 or 19. ( me and my husband are both 28 right now and the uncle’s wife is around 33 years old).


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You can't change the past. You have removed all blame from your husband for having had sex with a married woman and placed all blame on her. Knowing she was just a kid herself AND that this happened over 10 years ago...

Let it GO!!!

Let it go completely and recognize that you are upholding a double standard that is totally unfair! Forget you know anything!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

It is not your secret to tell. He was a curious kid - most boys would have sex at that age between hormones and curiosity. He married YOU. Yes, it was wrong of a married woman to have sex with her nephew but the time to blow that up has long since passed. If you tell anyone now, the whole family will hate you and your husband may, too. 

You sound like you are jealous. You have your husband, she does not. Try to think of that any time you are around - imagine yourself the 'winner' as you 'won' your husband and she did not. Do not make family gatherings unpleasant for everyone or you will begin to be excluded.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Her brain wasn't even fully developed. 
Yes legally she was an adult and maybe it was a base decision. But I think you need to leave this in the past.
This was long before he met you.


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