# Can't stop making nasty comments



## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

this weekend the H came home from out of town (yes he's gone again this week) and he spent the whole weekend with the OW and her family. Late Saturday night I was flaming mad about it and I didn't want his a$$ to come home that night, so I called him and suprisingly he answered and I (lied) and said that my friend was in distress and didn't want to go home so she was going to stay with me and since the OWH already knows he's f'ing her, he won't mind sharing his bed with you, and I hung up. 

GGRRRRR I hate that he keeps throwing this sh*t in my face and he gets off on my hateful comments! I haven't gotten out of the anger phase yet and he will send me texts "I just want to see how you're doing. I don't hate you"

I have to REALLY bite my tongue not to spit out hateful remarks because I know that it could come back to bite me in the butt


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I struggle with that as well. It doesn't do any good. It feels good in the moment, but it does nothing productive. We have to somehow stop letting them push our buttons.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh how nice that he doesn't hate you. How sweet of him.

While I agree with the previous poster, I don't blame you for saying that! What a jerk.


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## jeffsdesigns (Jul 19, 2011)

I have the same issues.

The other night, instead of flaming back.
I just hung up on her.
Yesterday, I got a nasty email and I didn't reply.

There is nothing you can do until they wake up from the fog.
It took me 3 months to realize this and just started following EVERYTHING on the 180.

Outside that lists..thing does any good.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What did I miss. He lives with that cheatin 'ho on the weekends? And you still talk to him?


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> What did I miss. He lives with that cheatin 'ho on the weekends? And you still talk to him?


He's not living with her he's just spending all of his time with her. We essentially don't speak unless we have to. Today he blew up at me thru text that I need to take my name off the joint account because "Just because i had a large paycheck doesn't mean you can spend $100 on groceries!"

I'm saving all these texts for my lawyer


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

Craggy456 said:


> and said that my friend was in distress and didn't want to go home so she was going to stay with me and since the OWH already knows he's f'ing her, he won't mind sharing his bed with you, and I hung up.


 Lol - that was a funny comment.....first time I smiled all day. I have the same problem. Sometimes it is hard not to throw a few in there at the right time.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Craggy456 said:


> He's not living with her he's just spending all of his time with her. We essentially don't speak unless we have to. Today he blew up at me thru text that I need to take my name off the joint account because "Just because i had a large paycheck doesn't mean you can spend $100 on groceries!"
> 
> I'm saving all these texts for my lawyer



Yeah that's a train wreck. Call me old fashioned but I will simply never respond to any serious issue via text or fb or whatnot. Face to face or over the phone or on letterhead, only. 

Yelling at someone with texts or email has got to be the most passive aggressive thing one can do. And it's cowardly.


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

Text and emails are typically battles you'll never win. They could come back to haunt you since it is in print. A verbal Zinger now and then is a different story.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Craggy456 said:


> this weekend the H came home from out of town (yes he's gone again this week) and he spent the whole weekend with the OW and her family. Late Saturday night I was flaming mad about it and I didn't want his a$$ to come home that night, so I called him and suprisingly he answered and I (lied) and said that my friend was in distress and didn't want to go home so she was going to stay with me and since the OWH already knows he's f'ing her, he won't mind sharing his bed with you, and I hung up.
> 
> GGRRRRR I hate that he keeps throwing this sh*t in my face and he gets off on my hateful comments! I haven't gotten out of the anger phase yet and he will send me texts "I just want to see how you're doing. I don't hate you"
> 
> I have to REALLY bite my tongue not to spit out hateful remarks because I know that it could come back to bite me in the butt


Next time, tell him not to come home because you have "someone else" over and you have to have some privacy. Leave it at that - don't answer anything else. Watch him squirm. Of course he will be asking whether it's a male or female - you're answer - Oh, it's just someone I met the other day. That is all - do not say anything else.

If he shows up at the house anyways - which he probably will, don't answer him if he asks who it is, just tell him it's a friend. It'll be better if you have the bed made and the place a little cleaned up - make it look like you are covering up something. At the very least, you will have made him use up his time thinking about it, just like he has done to you.

Oh yeah, and you have to play the part - make it look as if you feel giddy and/or nonchalant. I know it'll be difficult but think about how nice it'll be to turn the table on his a$$.

Maybe later on you can make it real. :smthumbup:


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> Oh yeah, and you have to play the part - make it look as if you feel giddy and/or nonchalant. I know it'll be difficult but think about how nice it'll be to turn the table on his a$$.


Awesome idea. Maybe mess your hair up a bit, perfume, etc. lol


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> If he shows up at the house anyways - which he probably will, don't answer him if he asks who it is, just tell him it's a friend.


Ya know, truthfully, he wouldn't care. I think he would actually be happy if I had a guy over, he would feel justified in what he did/is doing


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

I found it simpler to change the locks, and garage door opener codes. Take the high road--anger will mainly hurt you.


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