# Intimacy & Sex are now a chore...



## iwantforever (Jun 14, 2010)

First off, there's an 11 year age difference between me and my husband. Second, I'm the one with a higher sex drive.

Okay, so we used to fool around a LOT. He works at home a lot and I used to go out to the backyard and tease him. He loved it and would usually take a break from what he was working on to take me into the shed or something and have fun. Back then we were doing it at least once a day. 

Now we have sex about once or twice a MONTH. I try all kinds of things to get him in the mood, from really subtle things like looking at him a certain way (which, he KNOWs that look), to outright bold things like surprising him after he gets out of the shower and sucking on his junk. I always have to initiate sex now, and if he goes down there it's only to slobber on it so he can stick his in. 

He was my first for EVERYTHING. First kiss, first time, first oral sex, first fingering, _all of it._ Crap, now I don't even get kissed during, before, after sex. 

And now just a couple days ago he told me that he doesn't go down on me anymore because he feels like it's his "job". But I go down on him every time we do have sex -- and even when we don't! And he teases me with it, but not in a good way. More like, "Oh definitely tonight baby. We haven't done it in so long." and then he'll wait till the last minute to go to bed -- there's always something more important.

I'm so frustrated.. He's so selfish lately. I don't even want to try anymore. 

BTW, he doesn't have any medical problems. He can get it up just fine. It's more like he thinks he does more than me or something. I can get him hard and then he'll outright reject me. Or, eff me and not give anything.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

seems u 2 need a date nite.
not the fun only kind, but one where u can talk about this problem.

i hope he is honest open type of H, and that u can keep him
from becoming defensive/sensitive about his lack of desire, or 
whatever he states the problem is.

u best consider how u'll react to all his possible answers 
should he indeed be an open discussion type of guy.
last thing u want to do is freak out in anyway to what he
says or admits.

good luck.


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

I agree with cb45. It's time to talk and figure out what's going on. The fact that he feels going down on you is his "job" makes me think sex has gotten boring for him. Or, it could be something entirely different. Find a time to talk, outside the bedroom about this issue and get to the bottom of whatever is going on.


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## iwantforever (Jun 14, 2010)

Thanks for the replies. I will try the date night idea this Friday and let you know how it goes.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

iwantforever-
If it weren't for the fact that he is home all day and you can keep an eye on him, I would say he is having an affair.

If this can be ruled out, then I would say he is jerking to porn quite a lot, and has little urge left for *real* sex. Is he paying you back for something?

Can you chart the exact moment of the decline in sex, and what was happening in your lives at the time?


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