# A$hley [email protected] craziness!



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Know so many people on the list I have for my state. I keep wondering if their wives know or not. I wonder why this isn't being talked about more. Anyone have the texas spreadsheet? You can PM me.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Why do you believe the list is real and unaltered?


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I guess b/c the people that are on the list don't suprise me one bit. But ya....w/ spreadsheets anyone could be added.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I mean the people i know...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

To be clear, the leaked data isn't in "spreadsheet" format, per se. Rather, it's all in flat text files that appear to have been generated by a database "dump" or backup routine.

Additionally, none of what I've seen (at least as far as I remember) appears to have been indexed via state, but instead by city and zip/postal code.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Where I live our town is less than 6000 people. Apparently there are 300 from my town that are in that list... That's actually pretty distressing how many from this small town.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

I read of the 5.5 Million Female users about 12,000 were legit users who actually used the site as intended. So those dudes who joined were fantasy dumbasses. DUDE


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Its not clear that this is the *customer* database or just a list of emails and addresses that they had, possibly purchased from other companies. A number of disreputable organizations seem to have my email ("Russian girls want to meet me", etc), and I know businesses buy / sell customer lists. I buy sex toys online, so some of those companies may buy / sell with the likes of AM. Its quite possible AM has my information even though I've never signed up with them. 

Honestly their numbers see awfully high. There may be a lot of people who want to have affairs, but I can't imagine that many will actually pay for an online service to help hook up. Wouldn't a normal dating service, or Craigslist or something be a much better bet? 

AM may have drastically padded their numbers to make themselves seem more appealing to customers. I wonder if their financial filings are at all compatible with the income from tens of millions of customers.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> ....So those dudes who joined were fantasy dumbasses. DUDE


Yes they were. The men who were exposed, probably were trying to cheat on their wives. However, ****** ******* was probably an expensive con-game for those men. When sex is involved, so many men don't think with their large head and end up loosing their money.

My advice for the OP is to view the men exposed in her area as "wanting to cheat, but maybe not having figured out how to actually cheat.

Almost None of the Women in the ****** ******* Database Ever Used the Site

MY advice to the men exposed. Confess to your wife that you signed up, that you were conned, that you have learned an expensive (financial and emotional lesson) and tell your wife you will never do anything like that again.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

....something kept all these men hooked in and spending big $$$


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

My main issue with this is that a certain percentage (perhaps an extremely high one) of these people who are being "outed" have done nothing wrong.

If somebody paid for the service, then yes - they're busted. If their email address is in their database, this means nothing.

They could have signed up while single. They could have signed up to see if their own spouse was on this site. Somebody else could have signed them up.

It's insane.

So if Joe Blow signed up an account, but never paid, with the sole intention of browsing to see if his own wife was on there, then everybody who comes across this information will assume he's a cheater.

I'l bet you dollars to donuts that, at some point in the history of TAM, that very advice was given to somebody who came here, worried their spouse was cheating on them. Somebody might very well have suggested they set up an account on AM and search for them.

My issue with this is not so much protecting one's privacy as it is that everybody will get caught up in this, innocent or not.

And everybody's downloading the database (including some well-respected TAM members), analyzing it, looking for people they know and saying things like "I'm not surprised that guy is on there" without giving the benefit of the doubt or a second thought.

What if "that guy" felt like he had to check up on his wife and that's the only reason he had an account?


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## CTPlay (Apr 26, 2015)

missymrs80 said:


> ....something kept all these men hooked in and spending big $$$


Hope for sex.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

CTPlay said:


> Hope for sex.


But of course we "know" that women want sex just as much as men, right? So why were most of the female "members" fake? >


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

alexm said:


> My main issue with this is that a certain percentage (perhaps an extremely high one) of these people who are being "outed" have done nothing wrong.
> 
> If somebody paid for the service, then yes - they're busted. If their email address is in their database, this means nothing.
> 
> ...



The list for my state only had people who had paid money to be on the site. Not people who just signed up. Many/ most were over $100


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

No....i think it was more than just hope.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I believe there are plenty of REaL women on there


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

missymrs80 said:


> No....i think it was more than just hope.


I'm not sure what else it could have been for most of the men if the vast majority of female "members" were fake...


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

missymrs80 said:


> I believe there are plenty of REaL women on there


My understanding is that about 95% of the female profiles were fake.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Its a fair question. I think the answer is a bit complex:

The men on the site are by definition cheaters and losers. Cheaters because they wanted to have an affair. Losers because they felt they needed to pay money to attract women. (but were not willing to pay enough to hire a call girl).

Not only that but these men were willing to pay to have sex with women who were looking for cheating losers like themselves. These guys really were pretty bottom of the barrel. 


I think that almost any woman who is willing to have sex with that sort of man can get it. At the low end I think women have an easier time than men. Basically if a non-hideous woman walks around a bar asking men if they want to Fck and doesn't care what sort of guy she gets, I think she will often succeed. 

If women want to have sex with decent men, then it is much more difficult, just as it is for men. 









technovelist said:


> But of course we "know" that women want sex just as much as men, right? So why were most of the female "members" fake? >


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Its a fair question. I think the answer is a bit complex:
> 
> The men on the site are by definition cheaters and losers. Cheaters because they wanted to have an affair. Losers because they felt they needed to pay money to attract women. (but were not willing to pay enough to hire a call girl).
> ...


No, that's misogyny! Please report to your nearest re-education center to be re-educated! >


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

My Fiancé's coworker is on AM. She's been married 25 years and has two kids. She logs on at work and within five minutes has a man to hook up with. She has sex with many men either in the back of her minivan, at their place, and even takes men home and screws them in her marital bed while her husband is at work. One time she almost got caught because her kid came home early and this guy was on his way over to her house for a hookup.

She used to be fat but lost a lot of weight and now feels like she wants to make up for lost time and take advantage of her new found attractiveness. She confides with one other woman at work about it all and then she tells all the other girls in the office, and then my fiancé tells me.

One time we were out to dinner and we ran into my Fiancé's coworker and her family. Her husband was there and I so bad wanted to pull him aside and have a man-to-man chat with him about what's really going on. He keeps trying to talk to her about trying to improve their relationship while she's humping dudes in their bed on her lunch break. Unbelievable.

Yes, real women are on AM.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Viseral said:


> Yes, real women are on AM.


I'll second that. I too know men who have "scored" on AM.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

The woman I know that is on there has 5 accounts from different periods of time, only one account was verified with a credit card.

So my understanding is that maybe these fake female accounts are real females that just didn't take it all the way.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

gouge_away said:


> The woman I know that is on there has 5 accounts from different periods of time, only one account was verified with a credit card.
> 
> So my understanding is that maybe these fake female accounts are real females that just didn't take it all the way.


That's possible. Women searching for their husbands. But also remember, women don't have to pay to communicate on AM. They only have to pay to remove their account "permanently".


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Viseral said:


> My Fiancé's coworker is on AM. She's been married 25 years and has two kids. She logs on at work and within five minutes has a man to hook up with. She has sex with many men either in the back of her minivan, at their place, and even takes men home and screws them in her marital bed while her husband is at work. One time she almost got caught because her kid came home early and this guy was on his way over to her house for a hookup.
> 
> She used to be fat but lost a lot of weight and now feels like she wants to make up for lost time and take advantage of her new found attractiveness. She confides with one other woman at work about it all and then she tells all the other girls in the office, and then my fiancé tells me.
> 
> ...


And this is why the fall out from exposed list is worth it. It has triggered at least SOME public conversation about cheaters.

Who really cares if some cheater's email gets exposed. I sure don't.

Even if it is fake, well, fine. I'm sure a loyal ma/woman can explain that to their partner. And I'm sure their partner will believe him. If their relationship isn't that strong, then it probably isn't going to last anyway.

We have to accept that as a society we have let cheating become completely acceptable. There is no social consequence to doing so anymore. People just act and pretend like nothing even happened. Nobody has the balls to say "you know what, you are a cheater and I don't want to be your friend any more."

Once appon a time, cheaters would have to leave the town they lived in out of shame and would often get abandoned by their own families.

We don't need to live in the dark ages, but a long as marriage is our primary legal method of bonding a man and a woman, cheaters should cop much more flack and disrespect than they do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

technovelist said:


> But of course we "know" that women want sex just as much as men, right? So why were most of the female "members" fake? >


Well... could be that women are too smart to dump a lot of money on a website like that. >

Generally women face more safety issues than men do. To go onto a site like that and search out for affair partners is an excellent way to end up physically hurt and/or dead. Most women are aware of this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Viseral said:


> My Fiancé's coworker is on AM. She's been married 25 years and has two kids. She logs on at work and within five minutes has a man to hook up with. She has sex with many men either in the back of her minivan, at their place, and even takes men home and screws them in her marital bed while her husband is at work. One time she almost got caught because her kid came home early and this guy was on his way over to her house for a hookup.
> 
> She used to be fat but lost a lot of weight and now feels like she wants to make up for lost time and take advantage of her new found attractiveness. She confides with one other woman at work about it all and then she tells all the other girls in the office, and then my fiancé tells me.
> 
> ...


How do you know that she does this?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> How do you know that she does this?



My Fiancé's coworker, who's on AM, confides in one woman she trusts at their workplace. She tells her everything about her hookups. That woman then gossips to the other women in the office, one of which is my fiancé. She then tells me, and obviously, I tell TAM.

It's been going on for a long time. When my fiancé comes home from work and we're cooking dinner, I will sometimes ask, sooooo, any juicy gossip at work? Then I get an earful about it all.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Viseral said:


> My Fiancé's coworker, who's on AM, confides in one woman she trusts at their workplace. She tells her everything about her hookups. That woman then gossips to the other women in the office, one of which is my fiancé. She then tells me, and obviously, I tell TAM.
> 
> It's been going on for a long time. When my fiancé comes home from work and we're cooking dinner, I will sometimes ask, sooooo, any juicy gossip at work? Then I get an earful about it all.


Wow, so you actually pay attention?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

gouge_away said:


> Wow, so you actually pay attention?



LOL, something I learned to do on TAM. I still can't watch TV and listen to what my fiancé is saying. It has to be one or the other. One data stream at a time. Typical man I guess...


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Someone took Chris Rock's "How was your day" advice seriously. Kudos.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Viseral said:


> My Fiancé's coworker is on AM. She's been married 25 years and has two kids. She logs on at work and within five minutes has a man to hook up with. She has sex with many men either in the back of her minivan, at their place, and even takes men home and screws them in her marital bed while her husband is at work. One time she almost got caught because her kid came home early and this guy was on his way over to her house for a hookup.
> 
> She used to be fat but lost a lot of weight and now feels like she wants to make up for lost time and take advantage of her new found attractiveness. She confides with one other woman at work about it all and then she tells all the other girls in the office, and then my fiancé tells me.
> 
> ...


This is absolutely consistent with there being very few actual female members, as that would indicate that pretty much any woman on AM would be able to score whenever she wanted.

But then pretty much any woman NOT on AM can also score whenever she wants, assuming that she is not hideously ugly.

Or is that misogynistic? >


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> I read of the 5.5 Million Female users about 12,000 were legit users who actually used the site as intended.


This is pretty much why, when I was single, I avoided OLD sites like the plague. It was my experience when I used OLD that virtually all of the 'attractive' female profiles (and I do not mean simply physically attractive, but profiles of women who I would find interesting to engage) were of questionable origin.




GusPolinski said:


> Additionally, none of what I've seen (at least as far as I remember) appears to have been indexed via state, but instead by city and zip/postal code.


That would be easy enough to do though, just load it into SQL Server and index it by state. For a while you could search online, but the site which had all the data cross-indexed has since been deleted.



richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Not only that but these men were willing to pay to have sex with women who were looking for cheating losers like themselves. These guys really were pretty bottom of the barrel.


Men pretty much pay to have sex with women regardless, whether it be the "dinner date", hiring a prostitute, or joining an OLD site like AM. Women decide how many hoops (dates, and thus, amount of time to pass so he won't think she's a sl*t) a man has to jump through before she'll allow him to bed her, that translates into a dollar figure.




> I think that almost any woman who is willing to have sex with that sort of man can get it. At the low end I think women have an easier time than men. Basically if a non-hideous woman walks around a bar asking men if they want to Fck and doesn't care what sort of guy she gets, I think she will often succeed.


Very true. This was discussed quite a bit in this tread.




> If women want to have sex with decent men, then it is much more difficult, just as it is for men.


Most men probably aren't looking to have sex with a decent man


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Why does that make me picture leather-clad women with whips... Perhaps I *have* been very bad.....



technovelist said:


> No, that's misogyny! Please report to your nearest re-education center to be re-educated! >


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It appears that in addition to making very questionable relationship decisions, she also is a very poor judge of who she can trust.

Of course that "trusted" woman could be making this up out of whole cloth. 



Viseral said:


> My Fiancé's coworker, who's on AM, confides in one woman she trusts at their workplace. She tells her everything about her hookups. That woman then gossips to the other women in the office, one of which is my fiancé. She then tells me, and obviously, I tell TAM.
> 
> It's been going on for a long time. When my fiancé comes home from work and we're cooking dinner, I will sometimes ask, sooooo, any juicy gossip at work? Then I get an earful about it all.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Ha!

9 Reasons Why ****** *******'s CEO Just Resigned


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Why anyone would care about this any longer... The entire website was a fraud. Anything else is just gossip. Last time I checked this is TAM not gossip central. 

_Yesterday, Gizmodo reported that for all intents and purposes *the men on the site were never likely to interact with the women they were looking to have affairs with*._

_Gizmodo found that 20.2 million men checked messages on the site but only 1,492 women did. What's more, many of the 5.5 million female profiles on the site were fake and about 10,000 of them were likely created by someone using ****************** email addresses. The implication? That the company's own employees were creating fake profiles that identified as female._

One comment to this was interesting, "sounds like a model from Silicon Valley, in the ratio of men to women. The article went onto suggest, there are more affairs forged on Facebook than there were on AM. It was fraud.

BTW, anyone paying attention read the short preamble manifesto in the original data dump, it says as much.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Wait, so because a company duped men into joining a website that promotes and promises to facilitated affairs, we shouldn't be concerned, no harm no foul?

To Catch a Predictor duped men into talking to fake children, and promised to facilitate a fake meet up, should we just ignore that too?


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> Wait, so because a company duped men into joining a website that promotes and promises to facilitated affairs, we shouldn't be concerned, no harm no foul?
> 
> To Catch a Predictor duped men into talking to fake children, and promised to facilitate a fake meet up, should we just ignore that too?



Nope, not what I suggest... There is a wide gap between being truly concerned for ones marriage who truly wants to save it and gossiping about folks with only harmful intent. To me, gossip is just as bad as cheating, lying and stealing. 

I suggest we have a different take on this entire situation. Be ready to show those the hard road to healing rather than mocking people. This is not the same as suggesting no foul no harm. But, to peruse through the dump to automatically make assumptions serves no purpose. I suggest the reveal can serve a more positive purposes:

1. The sites that promote these activities slow their traffic to a trickle 

2. Marriages strong enough to make it, no longer have to live under secrecy and deceit. Those not strong enough, allows those to move on with life.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Over time the triggers fade out...
The initial reaction is always going to be vindictive of those who through experience or otherwise despise things like AM.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

gouge_away said:


> Over time the triggers fade out...
> The initial reaction is always going to be vindictive of those who through experience or otherwise despise things like AM.



I despise the "fraud" that AM was pawning (affairs), and I don't make light of those betrayed. But, for a moment, we as a community have to to do better than just mock and gossip. There may be some who want to save their marriage, that is after all what TAM is, not the dribble of the rest of the blog world. Or, did I sign into the wrong forum?


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Why do you believe the list is real and unaltered?


People in the press are reporting making contact with AM customers who confirm their information is in the database. This is not to say that false information has not been injected into the real info, but that is not very likely. The data dump is quite extensive. (CC numbers, emails addresses, messages sent to other members, pictures ect...


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

ScrambledEggs said:


> People in the press are reporting making contact with AM customers who confirm their information is in the database. This is not to say that false information has not been injected into the real info, but that is not very likely. The data dump is quite extensive. (CC numbers, emails addresses, messages sent to other members, pictures ect...


If you're looking, or know how to look for, the -real- data dump, it is accurate. The problem is that somebody will (or already has) falsified the data and put it out there as the "real" one.

The other problem, which I have maintained since the start of this, is that one's email address being included in the info is absolutely not indicative of anything - not even that the person to whom that email address belongs to has an account. Without CC payment, email verification was (is?) not necessary, therefore anybody could use any email address they wanted, to sign up an account.

My only issue with this entire thing is that it is wholly irresponsible in the manner in which it was all released. Many of you don't care about this. I have no sympathy for those that actually do/did have an account and paid for it. Everybody else, whether they set up an account while single, they had an account to search for their spouse or partner, or somebody else used their email address to open an account - they will get screwed big time.

IMO, only the paid customers database should have been distributed.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

This might be interesting:

http://www.zdnet.com/article/the-ir...ted-hacking-rivals-to-stay-ahead-of-the-game/


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> This might be interesting:
> 
> http://www.zdnet.com/article/the-ir...ted-hacking-rivals-to-stay-ahead-of-the-game/


Link is broken due to TAM's AM filter. Try this instead...

The irony: ****** ******* plotted hacking rivals to stay ahead of the game | ZDNet


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Thanks, Gus.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

alexm said:


> If you're looking, or know how to look for, the -real- data dump, it is accurate. The problem is that somebody will (or already has) falsified the data and put it out there as the "real" one.


Impact Team released hashes of the genuine files at the start of the dump so it is a simple matter to confirm if you have the original unaltered file. Just generate an MD5 hash of the file and compare it to the original release on the Dark Web.

And I agree about the email address alone not meaning a thing. They are the sort of company that would have dumped emails in their DB acquired from elsewhere. In fact it has been shown in the corporate email dump that they hacked another dating website and stole their entire customer DB. Oh the irony.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

ScrambledEggs said:


> Impact Team released hashes of the genuine files at the start of the dump so it is a simple matter to confirm if you have the original unaltered file. Just generate an MD5 hash of the file and compare it to the original release on the Dark Web.


Oh, I know, but does Joe Blow know how to confirm the file, or even care to?


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Ikaika said:


> To me, gossip is just as bad as cheating, lying and stealing.


Wow. That's messed up.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Ikaika said:


> I despise the "fraud" that AM was pawning (affairs), and I don't make light of those betrayed. But, for a moment, we as a community have to to do better than just mock and gossip. There may be some who want to save their marriage, that is after all what TAM is, not the dribble of the rest of the blog world. Or, did I sign into the wrong forum?


It's not our responsibility to save other people's marriages from the ravages of infidelity. And the name of the forum is "Talk about marriage", not "Save other people's marriages". Certainly there's nothing wrong with trying to help people, and that's what happens a lot on here, and yes, people come here for help (I did when my marriage ended due to cheating). 

But your stance seems somewhat self-righteous and you take a bit of a finger wagging tone. 

You also lost credibility with me when you proclaimed gossiping is just as bad as cheating, lying and stealing.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Healer said:


> You also lost credibility with me when you proclaimed gossiping is just as bad as cheating, lying and stealing.


Gossip can be _worse _than cheating, lying and stealing, because it destroys reputations and lives when that may not be deserved or true.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Why not just delete the list you have and mind your own damn business. Seriously, live your own life and let others figure out their own. 

Cheating is horrible, and many of us have lived through it, but I can't believe people would reveal in this massive privacy breach. You want to live in a privacy-free world? Well it is here. The poor idiots on that list are feeling the sting now, but I doubt any of us, given the right magnifying lens, would come out lily-white.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think people here should care because it is a cautionary story for people who may have sensitive personal data on the web. Many of the posters here would probably be very unhappy if a database of their posts were made available linked to their real names. 





Ikaika said:


> Why anyone would care about this any longer... The entire website was a fraud. Anything else is just gossip. Last time I checked this is TAM not gossip central.
> snip
> .


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Gossip can be _worse _than cheating, lying and stealing, because it destroys reputations and lives when that may not be deserved or true.


But the people being cheated on, lied to and stolen from did deserve to have that inflicted upon them?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Healer said:


> But the people being cheated on, lied to and stolen from did deserve to have that inflicted upon them?


<sigh> I did not say or imply that.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

As it turns out there are very few actually women on board there. Most of them were paid by the company to correspond with hapless men. So it turned out to be a fantasy message board of people more or less talking to themselves for money. AM turned out to be the biggest catfish troll of all time.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

alexm said:


> Oh, I know, but does Joe Blow know how to confirm the file, or even care to?


But we can hope that anyone making an online tool to check emails has and I think that is fairly safe as some sites have been doing this for a while. The raw Dump takes a level of technical sophistication to draw information from.


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