# Advice?



## tiffersm (Apr 15, 2011)

There are several things I'm unhappy about in my marriage. Namely, I want him to spend more time with me when he gets home from work instead of playing Madden on Xbox for hours, I'd like him to conversate with me and show interest in the things I like to do and talk about, and I'd like him to do considerate things for me. I often feel frustrated, ignored, taken for granted and unappreciated. I've tried multiple times to talk to him about this, but he ignores me or makes sarcastic remarks. How do I motivate him to work on our marriage? If I scream and cry and threaten to divorce him, I can get a response, but I don't want to do that. I just want to do nice things for him and for him to do nice things for me. I want to spend time together and talk about things and, you know, HAVE a marriage. Right now it feels like we're just roommates, unless, of course, he wants sex. Honest advice is appreciated. I'm willing to do and try anything if it means we can both be happy!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

He's ignoring you and if he will only pay attention if you say "divorce," then you have to say it. Tell him--calmly--that ignoring you unless you threaten divorce is the surest way to make divorce happen. Google "Walk Away Wife" syndrome, print it out, then hand it to him. Ask him if he wants to work on this with you or with you and a marriage counselor. You can use marriagebuilders.com for some free ideas that the two of you work on together--and sit down and read the info together, perhaps one after another (if you are the only one doing the work, it won't work).

If you are unhappy and feel like you are just there to meet his sexual needs, then take your feelings seriously. Thinking that you can "make do" with the status quo might work-for a while. You will become vulnerable to another man's interest. Leave BEFORE that happens if your h refuses to participate in improving the marriage, because you can only live half a life for so long. Trust me, I know; BTDT and could write the book!


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## tiffersm (Apr 15, 2011)

I googled it and... :O That is so me!!!! I feel like it was written about me! I'll try your advice. I _really_ don't want to be another divorce statistic!


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## AngieMarie (Nov 28, 2010)

Check out the book, The 5 love languages, I think it's by Gary Chapman. It's a great book and has saved a lot of marriages. Maybe he doesn't know what you need to be happy? He might be the type of guy that wants some guy time once he gets home, but loves it when you leave him a note and say how hot he is to you. 

You want time with him to talk to him.. Communication is key to any relationship.. Have you tried to play the xbox with him? Might be a good way to start a conversation.. Hey honey had a great time playing the xbox with you, you mind if we talk about something that's been on my mind?


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## MisterNiceGuy (Jan 26, 2011)

Drag his ass to marriage counseling now... before you find someone that "cares" about you!


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