# Incredible loneliness



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

It's killing me. It's taking a horrible toll on me. I just sit and cry for no reason. I see my sister's with their husband's, one of my best friends is shining happy because she's soon getting married. I saw her in her wedding gown she brought. I had to fake smile my way through it. It's like wherever I go, couples are there, holding hands, smiling at each other, looking all sorts of happy. I do go out at least once a week with friends just so I can get out but still, they have somebody and they are happy together. At the end of the night, they go home to their spouses, to share a bed with them and I go home alone. Do you ever feel this way? Are you ever so lonely that you just want to grab the first person you see, and hold them? Or is it just me?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

you know it is the 21st century, pretty easy to set up a dating online profile and then be selective about who to meet


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

It's a story like yours that got me started on my EA. Feeling sorry for someone in your situation, and trying to help. It went from there.

Watch out for helpful idiots like me. All I did was cause more pain later down the road.

I agree that online dating is worth a try.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

HerToo said:


> Watch out for helpful idiots like me. All I did was cause more pain later down the road.


Im sure apple will be very careful to avoid married men


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Im sure apple will be very careful to avoid married men


LOL, no married men, thank you very much. 
I did try the online dating thing. I have been sorta talking to a guy I met on there but I have not yet met him in person. I guess that's another story for another day. I have since deleted my dating profile however. Maybe someday I will try it again.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

bear in mind you can set up a profile for "friends only" if you don't wish to jump into romance right away


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wish you lived closer, we could totally hang out. You like wine?


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

I know exactly what you mean apple. although I would never get back with him, I can't help but feel jealous because o.w. has him go home to her, just like he did to me when we were happy.

I am just focusing on making my home (which I am unsure how long I can keep), as comfortable and cosy as I can, soft lamps, scented candles etc. Just want to make it mine.

I would love to think I will have another relationship one day, but am no where near ready, I don't fancy the dating web sites, and sometimes see myself alone forever.

I often look at people's wedding finger to see if they are wearing a ring, and if they look happy or not etc etc

I think you have young children don't you?


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

reindeer said:


> I know exactly what you mean apple. although I would never get back with him, I can't help but feel jealous because o.w. has him go home to her, just like he did to me when we were happy.
> 
> I am just focusing on making my home (which I am unsure how long I can keep), as comfortable and cosy as I can, soft lamps, scented candles etc. Just want to make it mine.
> 
> ...


I have 3 children. 16, 14 and 7 years old. I also have 17 yr old stepdaughter who I still love very much too.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Wish you lived closer, we could totally hang out. You like wine?


I don't know if anyone on here lives close to me or not. I'm dab smack in the middle of the Midwest. But hey wine sounds good. We can get drunk then TAM all night long, lol!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Please don't think that I'm suggesting that it is close to the pain of being alone, but as a father, I've recently really been struggling with my daughter moving on in life, and feeling a similar loneliness. She's going away for grad school, but works so much in her volunteer work that it has really already hit home. My wife said that I walk around the house like an old man.

Honestly, though, I somehow managed to become more of a protector role in my marriage due to an early suicide attempt by my wife, who is bipolar, and she was really insecure if I showed vulnerability, so feeling alone in the marriage was the biggest contributor to a recent midlife crisis.

For me, getting more active in a couple of volunteer organizations have helped tremendously, along with the work my wife and I are doing. Since her parents died of cancer, we visit patients in cancer treatment facilities on holidays, and help support a local camp for kids who have lost their parents to cancer and violence. Our daughter is a professional musician, but should still be able to join us when she moves away.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Halien said:


> Please don't think that I'm suggesting that it is close to the pain of being alone, but as a father, I've recently really been struggling with my daughter moving on in life, and feeling a similar loneliness. She's going away for grad school, but works so much in her volunteer work that it has really already hit home. My wife said that I walk around the house like an old man.
> 
> Honestly, though, I somehow managed to become more of a protector role in my marriage due to an early suicide attempt by my wife, who is bipolar, and she was really insecure if I showed vulnerability, so feeling alone in the marriage was the biggest contributor to a recent midlife crisis.
> 
> For me, getting more active in a couple of volunteer organizations have helped tremendously, along with the work my wife and I are doing. Since her parents died of cancer, we visit patients in cancer treatment facilities on holidays, and help support a local camp for kids who have lost their parents to cancer and violence. Our daughter is a professional musician, but should still be able to join us when she moves away.


Hailen, thank you. Your post just made me think of something. I have a registered, licensed therapy dog that I do volunteer work with. I take her to nursing homes to visit the residents there. The people there are also very lonely and very sad because a lot of times they don't get visitors. At least I can get out of my house and go places, they can't. I'm glad you opened my eyes to this fact. My post now has me feeling kinda bad when I do have things to be thankful for.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

reindeer said:


> I often look at people's wedding finger to see if they are wearing a ring, and if they look happy or not etc etc


I've just recently stopped wearing mine. Took my daughter to a GS meeting the other night. Dropped her off, but had to stay and fill out a couple of forms. The four women who work with the troop all had rings on. I felt "naked" almost - very weird - wondering if they'd noticed.

Of course - before this divorce stuff - I never paid much attention myself.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I was moving a shelf yesterday and forgot I put my ring on top, it fell on floor I picked it up, looked at it, tried it on. It felt heavy. Then I looked at my fingers and noted, as I often do, that I have really skinny fingers, I get ring envy when I loko at other guys' rings, they're like twice the size. My younger brother moved into my house he works construction, its weird to see how much more muscular than I he is, wasn't that way not very long ago.

Anyways, these are the kinds of ramblings that go on and on nonstop in my lonely life.

Hey, I just bought tickets to take my son to live show of Backyardigans, got about a dozen other people interested in coming to. Yes, lonely and going crazy. Almost had a date this week, met online, agreed to meet in writing, no show (She didn't stand me up just stopped communicating). Can't tell which is worse being lonely or having hope of not being lonely dashed.


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## Ello1012 (Oct 26, 2011)

Fact: "Jealousy will burn your soul fast like Fire Burns Wood" - Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Want to fidn a good husband, have a God fearing Guy fall in love with your HEart!... no man likes a woman any more than her heart.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

AppleDucklings said:


> Are you ever so lonely that you just want to grab the first person you see, and hold them?


I've tried that. Mace REALLY stings! 

People generally don't like to just be grabbed like that. Be careful...


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