# Just friends? Or not?



## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

*Just friends? Or not? Update top pg 3*

I have been "seeing" a guy for several months now. Both of us are not long out of our previous long term relationships, and I made it clear from the beginning that I wanted to take things slow and "just be friends." 

He agreed at first, but I had to get upset with him on two separate occasions because he was pushing so hard for a "relationship." He is super sweet, loving, caring, funny, sensitive, and basically an all around great person. But I was still dealing with getting over my previous relationship and had hangups. After this most recent "getting onto him about slowing things down" he did just that, which was wonderful.

Fast forward about a month, and lo and behold, I'm starting to get real feelings for him. I'm scared of them, because I was burned pretty badly in my last relationship. But they are there and I can't deny myself them. 

I finally opened up and told him about them a couple days ago. I thought he would be happy, because that's what he's been asking me for. And wouldn't you know it.......he says he doesn't know what he feels. 

He says he still loves me, and still feels "in love" with me, but he thinks I don't have my heart in my feelings. I asked him what I could do to show him and he said he couldn't tell me because then he would know I was just going through the motions.

I REALLY feel for him and can see us having a future together. Things are a little crazy as far as our situations both go (it would have to be a LDR for the time being, and I HATE those....but he's worth it.) But now I'm scared that I've waited too long, messed things up between us, etc. I don't want to lose him as a friend or a companion, or a lover either.....because to be honest, he's the only man I have ever met that is wonderful at all 3. 

I can't read his mind though.......and this is the first time the entire time we've known each other that our communication is lacking. We've both said we never want that to be a problem because it played a major role in both our previous relationships crumbling. 

Advice? Please? I'm at a loss! :scratchhead:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

He gave you time - sounds like you may now have to give him time.

Just keep doing what you're doing - my opinion. If its meant to be - his feelings for you will come back.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Get serious!
You told him twice, in no uncertain terms to back off and he honored your request. Now that YOU all of a sudden have feelings, you expect him to just "turn" his back on?

Why is it your decision, not his, and not the both of you?
Right now you look wishy washy and flaky.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Get serious!
You told him twice, in no uncertain terms to back off and he honored your request. Now that YOU all of a sudden have feelings, you expect him to just "turn" his back on?

Why is it your decision, not his, and not the both of you?
Right now you look wishy washy and flaky.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Ouch Dan. I've talked to him and told him that I obviously will give him time because I definitely owe him that. I'm not wishy washy nor flaky, because I told him from the beginning I needed TIME to develop those feelings, but I could definitely see them developing. And I've told him time and time again that his wants and needs are just as important as mine. I appreciate your viewpoint, but you could have been a little less......harsh.....

Thanks Niceguy. I really do like this man a lot, and he will get time if that's what he needs and wants. I could see a future between us and I never want to hurt him. He's a dear friend of mine above all else.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just like your thread heading --- Go rent this movie together , kick back and have a few laughs while you struggle through this. This movie has all of your issues in it. 

Amazon.com: Just Friends: Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris, Chris Klein, Chris Marquette, Giacomo Beltrami, Fred Ewanuick, Amy Matysio, Julie Hagerty, Wendy Anderson, Barry Flatman, Devyn Burant, Roger Kumble, Bill Johnson, Cale Boyter, Chris Ben


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> Ouch Dan. I've talked to him and told him that I obviously will give him time because I definitely owe him that. I'm not wishy washy nor flaky, because I told him from the beginning I needed TIME to develop those feelings, but I could definitely see them developing. And I've told him time and time again that his wants and needs are just as important as mine. I appreciate your viewpoint, but you could have been a little less......harsh.....
> 
> Thanks Niceguy. I really do like this man a lot, and he will get time if that's what he needs and wants. I could see a future between us and I never want to hurt him. He's a dear friend of mine above all else.


You remind me of me in my current relationship. 

My girlfriend and I have been been hurt in the past. We were just friends by way of a website for about 2 years before we ever actually talked directly to each other. 

She contacted me first, and was the one who was pushing for something between us. At first it actually made me uncomfortable, because I wasn't ready for what she wanted. 

After about 6 months, it reversed. Since that time, I have been 100% ready to be with her completely. She was a little leery after having been put off a bit by me when she tried to make it more serious. 

We finally got to the "same place" after a little time. I just took into account that I owed her the same time she gave me, and I had to let her see that I was indeed serious about her and wasn't going to change my mind at a moment's notice. 

I don't think you did anything wrong. You just had to experience this relationship at a slightly different pace than this man. I think if you are patient it'll work out just fine. He may just need to have his pride restored a bit.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

GA HEART said:


> Ouch Dan. I've talked to him and told him that I obviously will give him time because I definitely owe him that. I'm not wishy washy nor flaky, because I told him from the beginning I needed TIME to develop those feelings, but I could definitely see them developing. And I've told him time and time again that his wants and needs are just as important as mine. I appreciate your viewpoint, but you could have been a little less......harsh.....


I don't do "less harsh".
You're messing with this guy's head and it's not right.
Did you ever stop and think that maybe you are developing "feelings" because you've rebuked him twice and subconsciously, you are thinking that he might "get away"? Therefore all sudden, you want him (safety net) until you really figure it out. Then he gets dumped.

High school is over.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Wow, who pissed in your cheerios, Dan? Your cynicism is not amusing to me, and probably not others as well. I'm certainly not into head games, and have actually considered what you are implying just to make sure that was NOT the case. It isn't. You don't know me well enough to imply that I am immature, but thanks anyway. 

SA - Thanks for the link! I will have to check it out. He isn't into movies, but I will watch it! LOL!

Soccer - Glad to hear that I'm not alone! I'm also glad to hear that you and yours have gotten to the same point now. I have all the time in the world for this man, I guess I just needed to hear that it might not be a lost cause. Thanks for your advice!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

GA HEART said:


> Wow, who pissed in your cheerios, Dan? Your cynicism is not amusing to me, and probably not others as well. I'm certainly not into head games, and have actually considered what you are implying just to make sure that was NOT the case. It isn't. You don't know me well enough to imply that I am immature, but thanks anyway.


I've seen it too many times, GH.
If I am wrong, let me know in six months and you will get a profound and heartfelt apology from me.
If my blunt comments make you think, then I have accomplished what I set out to.
Look at my other posts on this board. My heart is as big as the sky, but I don't beat around the bush. If I decipher something from the posts on this board, I let it out.
IMO, too many people in LIFE are so worried about hurting someone else's feelings that they will refrain from telling the truth and/or calling people out. I don't have that problem.


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## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

You now feel the same way he did when you did this to him.

I honestly don't know why he gave you the opportunity to do this twice to him. TBH, if I was rejected once by someone I'd move on.

But, like others have said - you have to give him time. He has probably pulled his emotions, slowly, out of the relationship because he has already been rejected twice.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

GA HEART said:


> Wow, who pissed in your cheerios, Dan? Your cynicism is not amusing to me, and probably not others as well. I'm certainly not into head games, and have actually considered what you are implying just to make sure that was NOT the case. It isn't. You don't know me well enough to imply that I am immature, but thanks anyway.


GA - I don't get the feeling that Dan was trying to be amusing. When people speak from experience, there is often a lot of emotion attached. And sadly - you hang around here enough - you see a LOT of repeating patterns that can trigger such a response in people.

Don't ignore the message simply because you didn't like the way it was delivered...


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I'm not ignoring advice, I truly appreciate it. And I'm also ok with direct and to the point advice, but there are those who use the "I'm a no-nonsense type" excuse to just plain be mean. And I'm not cool with that, never have been. 

Dan - I really appreciate your most recent post. Because it is honest, direct, to the point, and not filled with venom like your first two. Name calling hurts, and is not necessary to get your point across. So thank you for leaving that out. 

I will update in 6 months. 

Although, would anyone's opinion's change if I said that both of us are literally less than 6 months into a separation from our 10 year+ marriages and not divorced yet? Yes, both of our marriages are over and divorce is eminent. And yes, that means that we started talking about a month after we were separated from our previous spouses. Both of those spouses threw us out, we did not choose the separation. We found comfort in our friendship and it developed into more. Just how much more is yet to be determined.

I feel that neither of us are really ready for a "relationship" which is why I've been balking. Both of us still have feelings for our ex's. Although, really, who am I to say if he is ready or not? *I'M* the one who has said I wasn't ready. He apparently was. 

Bottom line is I care very deeply and love this man. I haven't fallen "in love" because honestly I'm scared to. My head is overruling my heart. Because I know the "in love" is there. I can feel it. But all the logical nonsense is getting in the way: "It's too soon, I can't move closer to him right now and don't want a LDR, I'm scared to get my kids involved, I'M STILL MARRIED, etc." 

So there is the full dilemma.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You're still married...

Stop dating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoYouWoo (Jul 19, 2011)

Just keep spending time together, stop talking about "the essence of your relationship" and deep stuff, just get back to where you were before - if it's going to happen it's going to happen - sounds like he tried to force it first, then you did - just both of you calm down and don't over-think it! Good luck.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Well, here's my update. I just flippin got dumped. He told me he loved me Friday morning and then found a new love over the weekend. Now who's the one who has issues? He's madly in love with this person the same way he was madly in love with me less than a month ago. Is it really so bad to guard your heart a little and get to know a person before you declare you are madly in love with them? I don't love flippantly. Now I'm the one who is hurting. Life is going to turn me cynical after all.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

GA HEART said:


> Well, here's my update. I just flippin got dumped. He told me he loved me Friday morning and then found a new love over the weekend. Now who's the one who has issues? He's madly in love with this person the same way he was madly in love with me less than a month ago. Is it really so bad to guard your heart a little and get to know a person before you declare you are madly in love with them? I don't love flippantly. Now I'm the one who is hurting. Life is going to turn me cynical after all.


This is actually a good thing. You've avoided an even bigger heartache in the future. If he truly fell in love with someone he met just this weekend, he's after the new relationship high and not the real deal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I know. But it still hurts. I was wanting to take things slow to avoid being hurt. And he waits until I actually had feelings to do this......

But I know I did it to myself. And that makes me so angry at myself it's not even funny.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> You're still married...
> 
> Stop dating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've always disagreed with this approach.

My marriage isn't dictated by any document filed by the state nor will the end of my marriage be dictated by any document filed by the state.

If my wife and I ever decide it's over then that's the moment it's over.
When the papers come through is irrelevant to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Thank you Tacoma, that's kinda how I looked at it, legally anyway. Although legally I couldn't just jump into another marriage straight away (obviously) and that's what this guy was hinting at. He called me by his last name sometimes.....

WhereAmI - Yes, I do think you are right......its the rush of a new relationship he wants/needs. He said he loved me, but he just wanted to love SOMEone. I wasn't anything special and I fooled myself into thinking I was.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Wow. So the plot thickens. Apparently, instead of finding the woman of his dreams this weekend, he finally decided that what I had been saying about us taking things slow and still be able to see other people was cool. So he hooked up with an old high school buddy. Problem is, he hadn't told me about his feelings, although that's what's been eating at him for the past couple of weeks. Sigh.....

He still "cares" about me and still wants to be friends. Do I stay and be a doormat? I've already told him that I need to think about it, don't know if I can be friends. I did tell him that I WILL see other people even if I decide to remain "friends." 

Wow, how did this even get to this point?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I might have missed something.

You told him you wanted to slow down AND leave the option of dating other people open?

If you told him this then, I don`t see a problem as he is simply doing what you suggested.

If this is the case then yes, remain friends in fact be one of those women he`s dating and make him see you`re the one he wants to settle on.
He wanted a serious relationship not long ago, your rejection of that idea definitely nicked his ego so he kept some distance (as you requested) probably to avoid anymore rejection.

If you have now come to the conclusion that you do indeed desire a committed relationship with him you`re going to have to work for it.

Be the one he wants, you guys just seem to have bad timing.

He may have been giving you this "love of his life story" to inflame some jealousy in you (it seems to have worked).


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Actually, I admit, the "love of his life" story was my insecurities. He basically went "home" for the weekend. Texted me once Friday morning telling me he loved me, and then disappeared off the face of the planet. I knew he was busy, having a good time, I didn't let it bother me until last night (Saturday evening.) This is a person that doesn't go an hour without texting me and hasn't the whole time we've known each other. So I knew something was up. I called twice, it went to VM, I texted about 8 times, no response. Then I saw on his FB page where this girl listed she was running around town with him. And only him, none of the other friends. So yes, I did jump to conclusions (I was right about the sex, just not the love of his life part.)

We have talked at length. He admits to handling the weekend very badly. What I'm upset about was the fact that he was dishonest in his feelings. He's been considering what I've said about us needing to slow down and maybe see what else is out there. But he didn't tell me that. He still told me he loved me and was IN LOVE with me. I just kinda assumed (yea, I know) that it was enough for me to not worry about him sleeping with someone over the weekend. IF he had told me about his feelings diminishing and not leading me to believe that he had stronger ones, I would have totally prepared myself for the probability of a ONS. 

As it is, I am more pissed off about the lack of communication beforehand and the cutoff of communication this weekend than I am the sex. I can't really be mad about the sex anyway. He said he didn't want to text or call because he was ashamed of his actions. I guess he hasn't learned he can trust me yet. 

Wow this is complicated! I still do care about him and love him, and he didn't cheat on me, technically. But he DID react badly to his actions and didn't communicate with me. Those things can be resolved, I suppose.

But I still have the dilemma of do I stay friends with him? I'm not going to love him and fall more in love with him while he screws other gals! LOL! Although it really is what he needs to do (well, maybe not screw them, necessarily, you know what I mean!) But since I do not love flippantly, and actually do have feelings developing, it's going to be hard to take them back out. 

And he has said that he doesn't know if he can handle me "seeing" other people and "dating" me too. Sounds like a double standard to me, but if he can do it, so will I. If he can't deal, then I guess he doesn't deal and moves on. I don't think I could hurt any worse than I did this weekend.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> But I still have the dilemma of do I stay friends with him? I'm not going to love him and fall more in love with him while he screws other gals! LOL! Although it really is what he needs to do (well, maybe not screw them, necessarily, you know what I mean!) But since I do not love flippantly, and actually do have feelings developing, it's going to be hard to take them back out.


Nice little catch 22 you find yourself in there.
I`m not riding you, I completely understand your hesitancy at the beginning of the relationship.It`s just kinda ironic how we screw ourselves by doing the right thing sometimes and there`s no one else to blame 



> And he has said that he doesn't know if he can handle me "seeing" other people and "dating" me too. Sounds like a double standard to me, but if he can do it, so will I. If he can't deal, then I guess he doesn't deal and moves on. I don't think I could hurt any worse than I did this weekend.


Since you`re getting these kinds of messages from him you two should sit down and decide on one of two possibilities..

Stop all this "waiting to see how I feel" stuff and start dating exclusively before someone does something the other can`t get past.
OR
Go your separate ways and let him know if he comes around and you happen to be available you`d love to give it another shot.

My earlier advice about being one of the girls he`s dating seems stupid now considering it could give him the wrong ideas about your boundaries while letting him think he can eat cake.
It`s not a good beginning for a serious LTR and that seems to be where you`d like to go with this guy.

Just tell him you think this is getting silly and you want to be either all-in or all-out.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Thank you Tacoma. Yes, I know I did this to myself. I really appreciate your advice. I think I will do that. Tell him I'm in or I'm out. Let him make the decision. I know which way he will go. I hate to lose him, but I'm not going to let him eat cake.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> Thank you Tacoma. Yes, I know I did this to myself. I really appreciate your advice. I think I will do that. Tell him I'm in or I'm out. Let him make the decision. I know which way he will go. I hate to lose him, but I'm not going to let him eat cake.



I`m hoping you`ll be pleasantly surprised GA.

Good luck!!


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Hey Tacoma,

Sadly I was not surprised, he gave me the answer I expected. He was upset, but he also confided in me that he had feelings for the other gal too. I just can't "be friends" with him after my heart has been involved and watch him develop a relationship with someone else. I will not be a backup plan.

I did as you suggested and told him to look me up sometime if he ever changes his mind. Maybe (although I doubt it) he will see what he's missing after some time has passed. We are still "FB" friends.  LOL!

 This sucks though.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

That truly sucks GA, I`m sorry it turned out this way.

I do think you`ve made the best decision for yourself though as now you can move on with a bit more certainty about getting what you want as well as your self respect.

As much as it might hurt, you undoubtedly just saved yourself a truckload of pain in the future trying to get on the same page with him.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

That's what I figured. To be honest, this is the first time in my life I've stood up for what I knew was right and didn't just hang on, even if it hurt. So as much as it sucks, I'm proud of myself. For what its worth. 

Thanks again for the advice, it was spot on.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> That's what I figured. To be honest, this is the first time in my life I've stood up for what I knew was right and didn't just hang on, even if it hurt. So as much as it sucks, I'm proud of myself. For what its worth.
> 
> Thanks again for the advice, it was spot on.


Your welcome.

I also just had a thought, if by chance he does come around and you both find yourself on the same page in the same frame of mind you will have undeniably laid down a decent boundary and expectation for him.

This can only make any possible relationship better if it happens.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Wow......wandering back in here after so long......

I suppose that dredging up old posts is a forum "no-no" but this is the background to my current dilemma.

I am still in love with this man, and the pain I go through (put myself through) over losing him is killing me.

I last spoke with him in January of this year. I admit that the rare times we talked, I always ended up pissing him off somehow or another. Mainly because more and more came out as we talked, and I realized this whole "relationship" thing we had was a lie from the beginning. He was playing games with my heart, and once he "had" it, he got bored and moved on. He says that wasn't the case, but I can't see how it couldn't be. He contradicted himself a number of times, and now looking back on things, there was a LOT of incredibly selfish comments and actions on his part even when things between us were "good."

I assume he's still with the person he "left" me for. I have no way of knowing. We have long since quit being FB friends. 

But MY GOODNESS how long am I going to hurt myself over him? I miss what I thought I had with him. I've dated two dozen men since him and not a one has even come close. I'm still not looking for an instant relationship, but am very open to developing one. It just hasn't happened. Most of these guys have been very funny, sincere, charming, etc., but I can't seem to trust. 

I had a connection with this guy that I can't explain. I have had "chemistry" (for lack of a better word) with others before, but we were so in tune with each other that we could almost finish each others sentences from the first time we met. The very first night we spent together, at least twice during the night we would semi-awaken at the exact same time.....neither of us stirred......but we would open our eyes and SEE each other there. It was one of the most amazing experiences ever to feel that connected to someone....

As crazy and obsessed as I sound, trust me, I am MUCH better than I used to be. I no longer struggle with the urge to text, call, or email every day. I still think about him every day though, and my eyes "leak" at least a drop or two just about every day over the loss of what we had. I'm tired of it. I KNOW I'm doing it to myself, I just want it to end. 

The last time we talked ended badly, I know he will probably never speak to me again. 

I just want this to go away. I'm tired of it.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Any one have any advice for a broken hearted fool? 

It isn't a matter of knowing what I should do. I know i need to let this go. I just dont know how to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You may have had a connection with him but he didn't have one with you which is why he wasn't receptive to you when you said you liked him. 

Move on. Time and no contact are the only way to heal your heart.

In the future, you need to learn to disentangle yourself QUICKLY From someone once they let ya know they're not as into you as you are into them. Because anything else is emotional suicide.

Fall back and carry on.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> Well, here's my update. I just flippin got dumped. *He told me he loved me Friday morning and then found a new love over the weekend.* Now who's the one who has issues? He's madly in love with this person the same way he was madly in love with me less than a month ago. Is it really so bad to guard your heart a little and get to know a person before you declare you are madly in love with them? I don't love flippantly. Now I'm the one who is hurting. Life is going to turn me cynical after all.


How do you know he was telling the whole truth. Maybe he had been dating her longer than that. Or maybe he knew her through other means, church, work, social circles, so have known her for a long time and started to see her romantically......at a time when you dumped him.

I'm starting to see patterns in today's dating which is why this message board exists....because while dating has changed, the essence of a married relationship has not.

You told this guy that you were not ready for something serious. Wow, haven't I read that somewhere before. My bf was caught up in a relationship like that before he met me.....http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...-can-spouses-have-friends-opposite-sex-5.html.

Then when my bf lessened his contact with her she became more ardent and particularly so after he told her that he started dating someone else.......actually about 4 weeks after our first date to be exact (so after 6 dates and the first time that we had sex). Could your guy have been sitting on the same kind of info.

This woman then tried to present herself as just a friend and than as just a confidant to be able to spend more time with him particularly while I was away.

So this woman "who was not looking for anything serious" and who also told him that she was doing OLD, then decided to accuse him of leading her on; and when that didn't work, decided to tell my bf about a guy with whom she had been on 2 dates who was by then "really into her." She suggested that my bf and she should get back together again so that she won't lead this guy on. And then of course, she attacked me directly by advising my bf to drop me because, in her opinion, our relationship was not advancing quickly enough........

In some ways, your relationship hit a raw nerve with me. Had you noticed that this guy was calling you less and therefore, you became more interested in him? Maybe something you neglected to tell us? Were you perhaps noticing things on his FB wall that made you think you were missing something?

****I miss what I thought I had with him. I've dated two dozen men since him and not a one has even come close.****

All I can say is, wow.......You managed to find time to date 24 different men.......in how many months was that? Maybe you should spend time just developing friendships and a social circle. And to be on the safe side, try to developing friendships with other women.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> He gave you time - sounds like you may now have to give him time.
> 
> Just keep doing what you're doing - my opinion. If its meant to be - his feelings for you will come back.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I guess leaving small details out for sake of space makes a difference. This man practically worshipped me. H told me he loved me dearly and was willing to wait on me to "give myself to him." We talked and texted constantly, nothing increased after he dropped me. He was talking to this gal on the side during the last couple of weeks, but it after i told him that i did love him. I told him that i loved him about two weeks before he met this girl. 

So i wasnt under the illusion that this guy liked me, he told me he loved me. He was just going too fast at the time (talking about having more kids within a month of meeting kinda fast!)

But ultimately i guess i bought into the fact that he loved me. I never "dumped" him, afte i told him to slow down i basically meant that he needed to quit throwing things at me like marriage and children.....we were BOTH less than 2 months into separations from 10+ year marriages. 

Its over and done with. Im pretty sure i ruined any chances that we will ever have anything between us ever again. And with the selfishness i saw after the fact (when the rose colored glasses came off) i dont really want to get back with him.

But i still hurt over the whole thing. I hurt over the loss of how he made me feel, what he made me believe, and what we might have had with each other if he had been truthful. I know im doing it to myself, but for somereaon i cant let it go. Thats my problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

And I was exaggerating about 24 people I have reallyt only seen about 8. Most of them were very nice men. I am still friends with many of them. But there is no chemistry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> And I was exaggerating about 24 people I have reallyt only seen about 8. Most of them were very nice men.* I am still friends with many of them*. I But there is no chemistry.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


<<sigh>> So on another thread a few moments from now where relevant, you will be crowing about all the great male friends you have.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Um......huh? 

Look, i am genuinely looking for help here. Everyone preaches how unhealthy jumping from relationship to relationship is. So i tried to prevent a "relationship" from happening with this guy. He pushed and pushed, and i fell for him despite my best efforts to not. I didnt want to get hurt again so soon after my husband left me and the kids. 

But oh well, i guess some of us are too stupid for help....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GA HEART said:


> Um......huh?
> 
> Look, i am genuinely looking for help here. *Everyone preaches how unhealthy jumping from relationship to relationship is.* So i tried to prevent a "relationship" from happening with this guy. He pushed and pushed, and i fell for him despite my best efforts to not. I didnt want to get hurt again so soon after my husband left me and the kids.
> 
> ...


This is why you shore up your relationships with your family members and long time friends. Becoming "friends" with men you just recently met and went on date with doesn't sound all that stable either.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

By the way, my husband has been out of the picture for a year and this guy and i have been "over" for 6the months. Aside from the couple of guys ive dated, there has been no relationship to speak of. i still dont know if i feel "ready" for a relationship or not. But im open to see. Ive spent a lot of time soul searching and doing my best to increase my self worth. But this situation still plagues me....even though i know i need to let it go....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Well, thank you.....that was definitely a more constructive comment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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