# Divorced dad, 2 kids, new girlfriend - bringing it all together...?



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

I've posed this question elsewhere, but thinking maybe this is the place to discuss what I'm going through.

I've been divorced since August 2015 (wow - already 3 years). I have an 8-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter. My ex-wife and I split custody/placement 50%.

Those first couple of years were rough. They were a struggle, but they drew us together and the 3 of us became a very tight group.

I always had a great relationship with them. I'd say my ex-wife wasn't the "natural" parent that I was. She does okay, but our bond is really strong. It hasn't helped that her post divorce life has been less than stable. She met someone within 6 months and he moved in with his 2 kids within a few weeks. He's not a good guy and I could go on and on about that, but the instability of her household has only increased my children's reliance on me as their primary parent for attention, affection, security, and everything else.

I held off dating until early this year when I met a really nice girl (we're both in our early 40's). It's a good relationship, but I'm really struggling with 2 threads of my life: there is the thread that represents my life with my kids and then there is the thread that represents my life with her.

I want to say that my love for them is unconditional and that thread will always come first.

There has been some blending of my 2 lives. They have met. They like her and she likes them, but there are parts I'm struggling with. I feel very precious about my time with them and there are times I don't want to share it. As an example, I still want my time with the kids to be my time. If tomorrow night is my night with them, I struggle to allow her into that part of my life. 

I want this relationship to continue. I want it to develop. I want to get to the point where I'm okay with weaving those threads together and I think a lot of what I'm feeling right now is just trying to transition between my old life and what my new life will look like. 

I'm just not good at pushing back. When she suggests that maybe she'll stay over and I don't want her to - I don't know how to say that. I'm struggling with setting boundaries that I need my time with my kids until I'm ready to let those two parts of my life come together. 

She's smart. I think she recognizes that importance (we've had discussions) - but I'm not good at putting "force" behind my feelings. 

It's just really getting to me. Tomorrow is the last time I'll have them before they head into my ex-wife's weekend and I'm not ready to share that time right now. Her plan right now is not to come over. She leads a busy life and for the moment lives about 45 minutes away. I just worry that she'll change her mind and suggest staying over. She did that on Tuesday and I gently pushed back - saying I really thought the kids needed a chill night with me (they had been gone the entire prior week with their mom) and it wasn't a big deal. 

Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through something like this? Does it get easier?


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

Maybe my question should really be how to a set and maintain boundaries until I'm ready? It's not a case of if right not, rather it's a case of when. I just don't feel ready to fully integrate her into my life with my kids right now. I'm not excluding her. I still want my kids to get to know her and vice-versa, but I also need my time with them. I need to get comfortable with this at my own pace - like getting into a cold swimming pool. I just worry how she'd take it if I was this upfront with her.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Your children are _really_ young, and you're going to be an active, in-home parent for quite a while!

Do you view this woman as someone you want in your life long term?

If so, I'd take her out to a nice dinner and share what you've shared here. 

Once you've done that clearly and firmly, there really shouldn't be anymore pushback, unless she's just disrespectful. And if you want a serious, committed relationship, then the two of you have to be able to have these conversations.

And as you two go along, she may decide the situation isn't for her. Dating someone with young children is hard, especially if she doesn't have any.

Or you may all become closer and the relationship stronger.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

minimalME said:


> Your children are _really_ young, and you're going to be an active, in-home parent for quite a while!
> 
> Do you view this woman as someone you want in your life long term?
> 
> ...


Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I do view her as someone I want in my life long term. It's been a really good relationship to this point and while we're still getting to know one another - I like where it is headed.

I will continue the conversation with her. We've talked about it and she has been respectful, but I think there needs to be more definition to the conversation. She has brought up the idea that the kids and I need our time together - which is a good thing. Maybe my bigger concern is not always being aligned on that as some days/nights I feel okay with it and some nights I don't. 

She does not have kids and while she is good with kids (she has worked with them for years) I don't know if she truly understands how hard life with small children truly is. It is a second full time job. I think she has a concept of what she wants life together to look like, but I'm not sure she really "gets it" like she needs to get it. 

I just don't want this hanging over my head like I'm feeling it right now. I don't like having to feel like I'm guarding my time with them. It doesn't make me feel good. I want to include her more, but I don't feel ready. I also don't feel like my kids feel ready. Their experience with my ex-wife's boyfriend (now fiance) has been difficult.

It feels like it comes down to comfort and getting to know one another and realizing we have different needs.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Surfer Joe said:


> She does not have kids and while she is good with kids (she has worked with them for years) I don't know if she truly understands how hard life with small children truly is. It is a second full time job. I think she has a concept of what she wants life together to look like, but I'm not sure she really "gets it" like she needs to get it.
> 
> I just don't want this hanging over my head like I'm feeling it right now. I don't like having to feel like I'm guarding my time with them. It doesn't make me feel good. I want to include her more, but I don't feel ready. I also don't feel like my kids feel ready. Their experience with my ex-wife's boyfriend (now fiance) has been difficult.
> 
> It feels like it comes down to comfort and getting to know one another and realizing we have different needs.


I think it's amazing that you have such a great level of self-awareness and that you can verbalize it! You know exactly what you feel and want and need. 

If you're able to be this open and honest with one another, I'd think sorting out schedules wouldn't be a challenge at all.


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

This is all new to you (first serious relationship after divorce)--you have no precedent, but you know how you are feeling. If I were dating you, I'd want you to be open and honest with me. "Sorry, tonight doesn't work for me, but can we do this ________ on Wednesday (no kids sharing time)"?

Her making the suggestion makes you uncomfortable. There should be a bit of preparation ahead of time to her spending the night--not a surprise thing.

Are your concerns over what might be considered more intimate, family moments and not just your time with the kids? If early this year means about 6 months and she's interacting with your kids, she should know YOU and your beliefs and commitment; but she, too, wants the relationship to develop--maybe faster than you.

I do not see your stance as "pushing back," but more being true to your needs. Thinking you don't want to mess up a good thing is contributing to your uncertainty. Do you feel like you are walking a tight rope or dealing with a balancing act? My concern is you worrying about putting force behind your feelings. Gotta say want you need and be good with it.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

sunsetmist said:


> This is all new to you (first serious relationship after divorce)--you have no precedent, but you know how you are feeling. If I were dating you, I'd want you to be open and honest with me. "Sorry, tonight doesn't work for me, but can we do this ________ on Wednesday (no kids sharing time)"?
> 
> Her making the suggestion makes you uncomfortable. There should be a bit of preparation ahead of time to her spending the night--not a surprise thing.
> 
> ...


You make some really good points. Early this year does mean about 6 months (she's actually spent 2 months out of the country for work - so we're still really building our own foundation). I do this it is a concern over more intimate, family moments. I'm just not ready to share those, yet. The experience I had with my kids following my divorce were profound. It truly felt like us against the world. We circled the wagons and created this small, safe world. Money was (and is) tight. We found new ways to have fun and that really brought us together. 

I agree there should be a bit of prep ahead of time regarding her spending the night. Today is a great example of where my mind is at. Today is the last day I have them until Tuesday (it is their mom's weekend). That's always been hard on me. I have the day built up in my mind - special time spent together. I want to connect with them and leave them with a meaningful day/night (I actually took a half day off of work). I pretty much know how I want the day & night to go.

I feel like I am okay letting her in within my boundaries. If I know ahead of time - I can be okay sharing some of that family time with her. It's just the worry about being surprised and then not knowing how to respond. 

I know she wants the relationship to develop with the kids - probably faster than I do. I do want it to develop, but I really need her to follow my lead and for the most part she's done that. I should add that she has been really good at being perceptive and stepping back when she feels the kids need me. It hasn't really been an issue, but I worry that it might become one before I'm ready.

In response to your tightrope/balancing act question - I guess I feel a little bit of both. I'm trying to maintain the current pace, but I worry that eventually she'll push back. She'll push for things to develop quicker. 

Honestly, some of it is just me trying to get used to this next chapter. I'd grown very used to living my own life - of being solely responsible for the kids when they were/are in my care, but also of calling the shots. It's tough letting someone into that process.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Surfer Joe said:


> I'm just not good at pushing back. When she suggests that maybe she'll stay over and I don't want her to - I don't know how to say that. I'm struggling with setting boundaries that I need my time with my kids until I'm ready to let those two parts of my life come together.


You're not ready to date. Period.

You selfishly want a woman whose happy to put her *own* needs on hold but be available to you when it's convenient for YOU. You're the reason some women avoid single fathers like the plague.

Just *tell *her you don't have time for a real girlfriend, just a part-time one when you've got free time.


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Surfer Joe said:


> Honestly, some of it is just me trying to get used to this next chapter. I'd grown very used to living my own life - of being solely responsible for the kids when they were/are in my care, but also of calling the shots. It's tough letting someone into that process.


I like your response--you seem insightful. It was tough becoming your own smaller family after the divorce. Sounds like you are/were the glue holding your current family life together. Is there time with grandparents and other family? How do you feel about that? Thinking you have led most of 'your private life' when kids are with mom. So, up to now there has been compartmentalization of sorts.

Could the reason for your divorce have given you trust issues at all? Sounds like mom is developing a new family and this can all be disconcerting to young kids and their bio dad. You don't want to upset the stable environment you have created.

Bottom line is you must do what you are comfortable with at your own pace. However, you need open and honest discussion about this with girlfriend. Always be aware of your gut feelings. As the new relationship grows , BIG changes --rest of your life changes--will have to be incorporated. Good luck.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Been divorced one month today. My kids are also far and beyond the most import thing in my life (DS 11, DD 7) and my primary concern is to see them through this transition as best as I can and not put too much thought into dating for a while. And who knows how I will feel 3 years from now but when I read your threads I just get the sense that there is something else holding you back.

After three years, if you have been with the Sig Other long enough and you are comfortable with her as a person, I don't see the issue in at least attempting to go to the next step. You can have the kids be the forefront of your life and be protected and be safe but still care for the needs and and aspirations of your GF. You keep talking about 2 lives, that sounds awfully confusing and seems like you are actually handicapping your own life by doing so. 

Are you in counseling? Might be worth a few visits to find out what's going on and to help you with your decision. Glad you hold your kids in such high regard, again, who knows where I will be in 3 years and if I will even have someone else but if I had the situation that you have now, which sounds like one a lot of people would want (a loving GF that wants more to do with you) I wouldn't want it to self-destruct from some sort of internal block. Good Luck!


----------



## azimuth (May 15, 2018)

If you take it slowly, be prepared for her to take a step back as well. If I were sleeping with a guy for a long time but he didn't want to include me in his life I would feel like a FWB. I'm not saying that's what she feels right now. But she's making attempts to be included - she's not trying to take over and only have you to herself, but to be included in your life and you're resisting.

I've been separated for a little over a year and I'm still building that one on one bond with my daughter, and the divorce isn't final. Dating isn't on my mind at all because I know I couldn't give 100% to a relationship at this point. Maybe you're still in this phase and not quite ready for a serious gf yet. You seem really intuitive of your feelings and accept your timetable but know that your gf might have a different timetable.


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

You're not ready to date yet OP. For you to be this guarded over your time with your children is very telling. Your gf is very much separate from your life with your children. And in essence, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're not ready you're not ready.

I've been your gf. My husband had a 6 year old daughter when we met. The difference is, that I was always welcomed and included. Never did I feel like was intruding or needed to step back. I would have been very hurt if he had felt the way you do. 

I think you need to be very honest with your gf, and tell her that you're not anywhere near ready to blend your lives yet. She will then have a decision to make.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

sunsetmist said:


> I like your response--you seem insightful. *It was tough becoming your own smaller family after the divorce. Sounds like you are/were the glue holding your current family life together.* Is there time with grandparents and other family? How do you feel about that? *Thinking you have led most of 'your private life' when kids are with mom. So, up to now there has been compartmentalization of sorts.*
> 
> Could the reason for your divorce have given you trust issues at all? Sounds like mom is developing a new family and this can all be disconcerting to young kids and their bio dad. You don't want to upset the stable environment you have created.
> 
> Bottom line is you must do what you are comfortable with at your own pace. However, you need open and honest discussion about this with girlfriend. Always be aware of your gut feelings. As the new relationship grows , BIG changes --rest of your life changes--will have to be incorporated. Good luck.


This sums it up. I hope people haven't taken the original intention of my post wrong and I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I want to bring these 2 parts of my life together. The times we have all been together have been great and I look forward to more and more of them. I am just struggling to move beyond that compartmentalization. I have had to become very protective of my kids. There life at their mom's house has not been ideal. Her boyfriend is not kind to my kids. He is cold and distant and I'm trying to be very mindful of the fact that she let him into their lives right away - there was no time to get to know one another - he was just suddenly living in her condo with them 24-7 and it has been very hard on them. My kids are wary of change - it has burned them in the past - and I think some of my concern is based on that. 

Again - I want to be clear that I do want to bring these 2 threads together. I just want to do it right and I'm probably letting it get into my head more than it should be. I'm not one of those divorced dads referenced above. I don't play games. I care about the feelings of my girlfriend. I care about the feelings of my kids. 

Having seen firsthand how to do this very badly - I'm all the more cautious about doing it correctly and maybe that has made me overprotective. I don't know. I want to move these 2 parts of my life together, but I'm wary and anxious about getting it wrong and I'm just looking for advice from those who have gone through this.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Slow is good. I think you're being very responsible and reasonable.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> You're not ready to date. Period.
> 
> You selfishly want a woman whose happy to put her *own* needs on hold but be available to you when it's convenient for YOU. You're the reason some women avoid single fathers like the plague.
> 
> Just *tell *her you don't have time for a real girlfriend, just a part-time one when you've got free time.


Maybe ask a few more questions about my specific situation before you write me off as selfish and the reason some women avoid single fathers like the plague.

I started this thread looking for advice - and while I can take some judgement along with it - I've never wanted a girlfriend who is happy to put her own needs on hold and to be available only when it is convenient for me. In fact, that is something that would make me walk away.

I apologize if I didn't provide enough backstory or if I muddied the conversation - I sometimes do that - but I'm really looking for advice on how I bring this all together. I want to bring the different parts of my life together. I just want to do it right. I've seen it done very poorly at the expense of my children and that has made me cautious. I've had to pick up far more than my share of their emotional needs (and I've been glad to do it) because of the choices my ex-wife has made. I think it is normal for me to want to be careful.

I care about my girlfriend. I don't want to exclude her from anything - and I honestly have not. She is by far a kinder person...a more thoughtful person than my ex's boyfriend/fiance. She also recognizes the need to be careful about how we bring our lives together. Maybe we haven't discussed that enough in detail.

Guess I just want to be clear that I don't want to keep these parts of my life separate. I want to bring them together. I'm just finding myself to be very cautious and unsure and I'm simply looking for advice and experience that can be passed along by those who have already done this. Maybe just a little support to trust my gut and go with it.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

I'll also add that we are working towards bringing our lives together. I'm just feeling so cautious and maybe too cautious...but as I've said - I've seen how damaging it can be when done without much thought. My kids deal with it everyday. My girlfriend is NOT my ex's boyfriend. I understand that - but I also have become extra vigilant about the changes I bring into their lives.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

"I'm not one of those divorced dads referenced above. I don't play games."

This quote makes me think you misunderstood some of the advice you are getting. Not that you are playing games but that if you aren't ready, for whatever reason, you cannot continue to string along the GF, it's not fair to her. It may be years before I introduce my kids to another women, no rush to even date for me, being just one month divorced, so I can't give the definitive after advice but it just seems like you need a little bit more balance on caution vs. fear, maybe. 

While the scenarios or concepts may be the same in general terms. Your EW has a BF that meets your kids and you have a GF that may meet your kids and you cautious of how poorly that went on the other end .... You are not your EW and your GF is not her BF. The same situation can be handled a lot differently because you want it to, you will have the kids' best interest at heart, which will make the process on your end, easier for the kids when you want to spend time, all together.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

stillfightingforus said:


> Not that you are playing games but that if you aren't ready, for whatever reason, you cannot continue to string along the GF, it's not fair to her.


Joe's posts don't come across to me like he's stringing anyone along. If he's upfront and firm (doing his part), then she decides what works for her and what doesn't (her part). 

She may even say yes at first, because she may really like him, but then change her mind once she lives it out for a while.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

minimalME said:


> Joe's posts don't come across to me like he's stringing anyone along. If he's upfront and firm (doing his part), then she decides what works for her and what doesn't (her part).
> 
> She may even say yes at first, because she may really like him, but then change her mind once she lives it out for a while.


Maybe stringing alone was a poor choice of words, as we usually equate that to someone who knows they aren't going to stay with the other person but do so for their own gain, for a limited amount of time.

In this sense, yes, I think he's being upfront with her but I worry for Joe that he may end up missing out on something good with his GF for something that may be unresolved emotionally inside. When in doubt and if the kids are involved, punt because they come first but just hoping the balance comes together for him.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Sounds a lot like my situation. I've been seeing someone for over a year and half. I didn't introduce her to my kid until a year after we met. I just wasn't ready at that point and so we'd basically see each other every other week and a couple days sprinkled in since I have the 5-2-2-5 custody schedule. She was fine with that since I was upfront that I wanted to wait a year before introducing them since I met my GF only a few months after my exW and I split, so I wanted my daughter to get acquainted to the new normal first. She doesn't have any children either and she was very understanding of the situation. Mainly, that it was my call.

So finally they met. Then she'd come over once on my custody weekend for a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and we'd all hang out together and she'd leave around bedtime. This went on for a few months. It came time that we were going to go on a week's vacation where my GF and I would be sharing a bed, so I eased in an overnight, we all built a fort in my living room and that was the first overnight. Now once a week she will come over and spend the day/night and its no big deal. There was only one occassion where my GF wanted to spend the night, but I wanted to spend some quality one on one time with my kid, so I declined. It caused a little friction but she ultimately understood.

But, I was like you, I felt more comfortable separating out dad time from single time since it was less complicated that way, but I knew ultimately that it have to happen if we were to have a future together. It just took some easing into and now we all go out and have a good time together. She is great with my kid and we all get along. 

The people here giving you grief, really don't have any idea what they are talking about. Ignore them. Only you can judge the right pace for your relationship. Your kids come first. And honestly, until you decide this girl is the one you want to spend your life with, you call the shots on how you prioritize your time with your children.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> You're not ready to date. Period.
> 
> You selfishly want a woman whose happy to put her *own* needs on hold but be available to you when it's convenient for YOU. You're the reason some women avoid single fathers like the plague.
> 
> Just *tell *her you don't have time for a real girlfriend, just a part-time one when you've got free time.


Putting his kids before his GF is NOT selfish. The other way around would be selfish. She's his GF, not his wife, he chooses the pace. As he has found out first hand, women can come and go, your kids are forever.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Sounds a lot like my situation. I've been seeing someone for over a year and half. I didn't introduce her to my kid until a year after we met. I just wasn't ready at that point and so we'd basically see each other every other week and a couple days sprinkled in since I have the 5-2-2-5 custody schedule. She was fine with that since I was upfront that I wanted to wait a year before introducing them since I met my GF only a few months after my exW and I split, so I wanted my daughter to get acquainted to the new normal first. She doesn't have any children either and she was very understanding of the situation. Mainly, that it was my call.
> 
> So finally they met. Then she'd come over once on my custody weekend for a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and we'd all hang out together and she'd leave around bedtime. This went on for a few months. It came time that we were going to go on a week's vacation where my GF and I would be sharing a bed, so I eased in an overnight, we all built a fort in my living room and that was the first overnight. Now once a week she will come over and spend the day/night and its no big deal. There was only one occassion where my GF wanted to spend the night, but I wanted to spend some quality one on one time with my kid, so I declined. It caused a little friction but she ultimately understood.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the response!

She has met the kids a handful of times - but we put off that first meeting several times because it didn't feel right. We've kept it low key thus far - just spending a little time together and getting to know one another.

The situation was complicated by the fact that she spent 2 months out of the country for work. She met them just before she left - again - it was just stopping over a few times - having dinner with us and then leaving before bedtime and then they would talk to her on the phone while she was gone. 

I think we're all still trying to find our rhythm again since she's been back. She has not spent a lot of time with them - it just hasn't worked out with our schedules syncing up. There have been a few times - but it is not yet a regular thing.

She did stay over for the first time this past weekend. We had an all day event that we went to and when it was over we all went back to my house. I was a little nervous about it. My daughter (she's 6 had a fair amount of questions). My girlfriend went to bed in my bed and let me work through my bedtime routine with the kids - which usually means helping them fall asleep - so I didn't get into bed with her until after they were out and we were up before they were up.

I'm just not sure if it is something we're all ready for at this point. I'm kind of thinking that was a one time thing until we all get to know one another better. It might be a discussion we need to have. A complicating factor is that she let her apartment go before she left to go out of the country so she is currently based out of her parent's house which is about 45 minutes from my house. This has put some pressure on the idea of living together or not and while we've discussed it - we haven't come to a consensus. We both understand we would be rushing things - so we're on the same page in that regard. I do think she's a little more open to just taking the plunge than I am - but then she isn't coming at it from the same angle. 

My ideal plan really would be for her to simply get to know my kids and vice-versa for a couple of months. Let's have dinners together. Let's have outings and family events...but I'm really not sure about overnights at this point. 

She's a really good person. She really makes me happy. My kids really like her - though I can tell they're also very cautious about someone new entering their lives based upon what has happened before. I think we all recognize the need for space and maybe it just does come down to her and I sitting down and hashing out a plan - maybe putting in some guideline. I truly believe we both want this to work.


----------



## Surfer Joe (Oct 27, 2015)

We had a good talk about how we move things forward. We discussed boundaries and needs that the kids might have and really we were on the same page regarding pretty much everything. She definitely understands and recognizes that there will be times where I need time alone with the kids to reconnect. She's very interested and excited to work on ways she can be involved - helping to plan meals and so on. I feel better about things.

It felt good to get it out in the open and just talk it through. 

Our situation is a bit different. She is finishing school and looking for a job and is currently splitting her time between my house (when kids are not there) and her mom's house (which is a 45 minute drive). It's a "tough" situation that we haven't figured out, yet. We recognize that while it might make sense for her to move in sooner than we would have liked/planned for - it might make the most sense...but we also recognize that it might be too soon. This is something we'll need to keep discussing. We do have a some time.

I am just very cautious and it helps me to hear from her that she is cautious, too. We're cautious in different ways - but also in the same way. I will always put my kids first. I know what they have been through at their mom's house. She is also aware of that. We want to be very careful about how we blend our lives together.

I still feel strongly that I will need/want times where it is just the kids and me. She understands that. I do envision a time where hopefully we will just come together as one unit - but even then - there will be times and she is okay with that.

Anyway - I feel good about what we talked about. Definitely good to get it out in the open and on the table.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Surfer Joe said:


> We had a good talk about how we move things forward. We discussed boundaries and needs that the kids might have and really we were on the same page regarding pretty much everything. She definitely understands and recognizes that there will be times where I need time alone with the kids to reconnect. She's very interested and excited to work on ways she can be involved - helping to plan meals and so on. I feel better about things.
> 
> It felt good to get it out in the open and just talk it through.
> 
> ...


This is great to hear and even better that she seems open and willing to work with you on this, that shows me a lot about her character and maturity as a person!


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Y'all knew when she gave up her apartment that this time was coming. Glad you are good with how things are going.

Sounds like she, too, is arriving at a new time in her life that may again change the dynamics of your relationship. Also sounds like your communication is good--so important at times like this.

BTW: My family loved making blanket forts--any excuse to make new memories!


----------

