# A genuine gold mine



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I'm going to preface this thread with:
1. I have no interest in, or connection to the site below
2. I have no personal relationships with any of the owners or contributors to the site


I found the site below and found myself nodding and laughing the entire time I was reading it. 

This is NOT some PUA nonsense. This is the real deal. 

Where To Start If You’re Lost With Women, Part 3: What Are Women Attracted To? | MatingGrounds


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Great article:smthumbup: A lot of great points! Had to give my thoughts on each point,of course

1. Strong Spirit: Mental Health, Resilience, and Happiness
YES
2. Good Brains: Intelligence, Openness, Knowledge, and Humor
I especially agree with this one bc they made sure to point out we care about the type of intelligence and how it's expressed. I love the way DH's mind works.
3. Tender Defender: Balancing Agreeableness and Aggressiveness
I only enjoy aggressiveness in the bedroom and only outside the bedroom when he's handling people other than me  
4. Strong Will: Conscientiousness, Maturity, Hard Work, Ambition
yup. Doesn't matter to me how much money he makes as long as he tries,has a good work ethic,and is happy with himself.
5. Social Proof: Extraversion, Confidence, Status, Prestige, and Fame
This one used to be true for me but then I had it a few times in a few different men...I'm no longer into any of those things. I like confidence but only that quiet shy confidence that shows little undertones of vulnerability. 

6. Good Bodies: Physical Health, Fitness, and Competence
I definitely care what DH looks like. I don't care how he maintains it but I don't want his body looking drastically different than the lean strong specimen he is currently. 

7. Material Proof: Income, Wealth, Consumerism, and Security
If I get sick I like that he can support us. If he gets sick,I like that I can support us. That's about as far as I get when thinking of wealth,consumerism,and security.
"The reality is that almost all women would rather have an interesting, fun, middle-class husband they loved to be with than a dull, workaholic millionaire they didn’t spend much time with. In particular, women care more about how much time, energy, and thought a guy is investing in her than how much money he spends on himself or others." THIS is so damn true...at least for me having been there done that w/the rich ones.
8. Aesthetic Proof: Your Clothes, Car, and Home
He lived with his parents when we started out. lol I loved him anyway. His car was average but spotless and his clothes were the same style as any other man who doesn't care about his look...cargo shorts and tshirt w/adidas shoes. I love it 
9. Romantic Proof: Signaling interest and commitment 
I love that DH is kinda clingy.A little more needy than most.He's also more attentive and in tune with me than anyone ever was. It's nice.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

What's funny to me about this is that I've generally viewed Tucker Max as comic relief, not someone to be taken seriously, and yet he put it all together (at least, based on my experience) in a very concise understandable way.

Can't disagree with his points at all.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

GTdad said:


> What's funny to me about this is that I've generally viewed Tucker Max as comic relief, not someone to be taken seriously, and yet he put it all together (at least, based on my experience) in a very concise understandable way.
> 
> Can't disagree with his points at all.


I am shocked that he wrote something so useful. Because these are very good points. 

Frankly, I am struggling to reconcile this writing with others I have read.

Nonetheless, there is some very good thoughts here that should definitely be read.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Perhaps Mr. Max is starting to show his age, who knows? Nary an F bomb to be found.

I haven't read all of the parts ... there are 8, but quite frankly, this IS standard pickup ... at least in most of the material that I have read.

It lays out the basics of dating dynamics and understanding attraction.

95% of pickup is about a approach. And this is where people start to scrunch up their noses, because when pickup provides scripts for people who DON'T know how to approach to actually do so, that is when we get into scripts, negging, creating comfort blah, blah.

Fact of the matter is, unless someone actually wants to be a pickup artist, and treat meeting women as a sport ... nobody frames their actions by the definitions that PUA uses.

I don't think Max would ever have described himself as a pickup artist. But ... if you were to read some of his other exploits, he is most certainly not what most would describe as a gentleman either.

If you had provided that article out of context and without the link, I never, ever, would have guessed that it was written by Tucker Max.

MEM if ever you are interested in reading about his previous exploits, I suggest taking a look at, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell"

There is effectively one guy I am completely comfortable in terms of believing that he provides the information both young men, and men who want to be better at their relationships conveys without any of the content that others find offensive about pickup, Mark Manson. He was a local guy to me as well, so he has the hometown thing going.

He's got a blog, which I read, and a book, called 'Models'. And no it isn't about dating models, it's about having or being able to look at models or frameworks that lead people to pursue the kind of life they want, for themselves and in the dating arena.

Lets face it, if you are being the best version of you, then you will likely attract the best version of the person who is right for you in a long term relationship.

6 Healthy Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Toxic


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I liked that article, Deejo. I definitely agree with his Truth before Feelings idea.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

GTdad,

Totally agree.

Hilarious in a ragingly out of control (oft drunken) manner. 

Though, I will say that even in his crudest humor, Tucker struck me as a very bright fellow. 




GTdad said:


> What's funny to me about this is that I've generally viewed Tucker Max as comic relief, not someone to be taken seriously, and yet he put it all together (at least, based on my experience) in a very concise understandable way.
> 
> Can't disagree with his points at all.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

MEM11363 said:


> I'm going to preface this thread with:
> 1. I have no interest in, or connection to the site below
> 2. I have no personal relationships with any of the owners or contributors to the site
> 
> ...


After every bullet point I was thinking "yea that's me". Weird huh? I mean the looks, fitness, and health part is obvious from my avatar. But everything else was spot on too. hmm.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Scarlet,
I love your response list.

I'm an introvert also.

As for the happy woman thing - 100% agree. A terrific guy in a middle class life is far superior to a very non-terrific guy in the top two percent. 






ScarletBegonias said:


> Great article:smthumbup: A lot of great points! Had to give my thoughts on each point,of course
> 
> 1. Strong Spirit: Mental Health, Resilience, and Happiness
> YES
> ...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Thundarr,

I was thinking the compassion, loyalty, protector and dedication parts were obvious from your avatar. 

I just extrapolated the rest from your posts. 





Thundarr said:


> After every bullet point I was thinking "yea that's me". Weird huh? I mean the looks, fitness, and health part is obvious from my avatar. But everything else was spot on too. hmm.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Deejo,

My first exposure to Tucker was the story in the link below. At risk of appearing shallow, juvenile, sexist, and any other 'ist' I near wet my pants reading about his adventures with a portable breathalyzer. 

So - I was stunned when I read this very mature, solid blog that really resonated with me. 


The Famous “Sushi Pants” Story « TuckerMax.com





Deejo said:


> Perhaps Mr. Max is starting to show his age, who knows? Nary an F bomb to be found.
> 
> I haven't read all of the parts ... there are 8, but quite frankly, this IS standard pickup ... at least in most of the material that I have read.
> 
> ...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Manson is brilliant.

That's an incredible list. 

I agreed with all of it. 






Deejo said:


> Perhaps Mr. Max is starting to show his age, who knows? Nary an F bomb to be found.
> 
> I haven't read all of the parts ... there are 8, but quite frankly, this IS standard pickup ... at least in most of the material that I have read.
> 
> ...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

One more thing. Prior to Manson I never know it was Zeus who fvcking split me in half. 





Deejo said:


> Perhaps Mr. Max is starting to show his age, who knows? Nary an F bomb to be found.
> 
> I haven't read all of the parts ... there are 8, but quite frankly, this IS standard pickup ... at least in most of the material that I have read.
> 
> ...


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

This is very good. Cuts through the madness of "alpha/beta" and gets to the real stuff.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Interesting stuff. I actually clicked thru to the second Mark Manson link - "6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most people think are normal" - and found this interesting snippet:



> *5. Displays of “Loving” Jealousy*
> 
> What It Is: Getting pissed off when your partner talks, flirts, touches, calls, texts, hangs out, or sneezes in the general vicinity of another person and then you proceed to take that anger out on your partner and attempt to control their behavior. This often leads to insano behaviors such as hacking into your partner’s email account, looking through their text messages while they’re in the shower or even following them around town and showing up unannounced when they’re not expecting you.
> 
> ...


What makes this interesting is that it appears to contradict the covert ops that a lot of the CWI posters pull whenever they get suspicions that their spouse is cheating. I think everything has to go on a case by case basis, and provided that your partner is not exhibiting "red flag" behavior then this advice should be solid. 

The interesting thing would be the odds of a BS who divorced and is dating a new person falling into this jealousy trap due to his/her brush with infidelity.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Interesting stuff. I actually clicked thru to the second Mark Manson link - "6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most people think are normal" - and found this interesting snippet:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:iagree:

That's why I sometimes have doubts about what I call
" The Numbers Game" when reading about relationship advice and such in the popular media.
Not saying that they're not accurate or that they can't be applied to a wide spectrum of people and relationships , but context matters.

When I read them I tend to think firstly of how and if it can apply to my relationship and then in what context.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

NOW THAT was a really GOOD article (I seen you posted this link on another thread , I missed it last year)...

I think I will print that out out.. and stick it in one of my books...

I can't say I care about everything on that list as much as the next women might... like social standing/ status.. what kind of car he drives, what he owns...these are lower on my list.....but work ethic, very important....I would have #9 (Romance) be my #5 .... .how he feels about me, treats me.. chemistry, shared dreams...

*1.* Mentally SOUND -happy Spirit being #1 .. I AGREE !!

*2.* Openness , ability to communicate.. with a shared HUMOR.. invaluable.. 

*3*. Tender, KIND yet assertive when need be.. So true.. 

I always say just this.. "You know the saying that guys want “a lady in the streets and a ***** in the sheets”? Well, women want the same thing in men !"... Absolutely!

*4.* Maturity in Life habits, self control... how he manages his life.. these things will show from his credit score to keeping healthy to staying married..

*5*. I'm with ScarletB when she spoke of being attracted to the QUIET confidence that shows the undertones of some vulnerability.. 

*6.* Physical attraction ...it's part of the needed chemistry.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Sucks

I miss Scarlett and Carribean Man. 

Ohh yeah good article too


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I like that one:

"You know the saying that guys want “a lady in the streets and a ***** in the sheets”? Well, women want the same thing in men, but reversed, a “Tender Defender.” A powerful, assertive man to the world, but who is still sweet and kind to her."


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## ET1SSJonota (Dec 25, 2012)

I can't stop laughing at this guy. I loved his serve beer book, I'm loving even more going through his blog. In case you need a good giggle, check out his "Why I wrote a book about Testosterone:"

How To Naturally Increase Your Testosterone | MatingGrounds

ROTFLMAO


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