# Is being HD a burden?



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have always felt I was different sexually. I have always heard what other guys say about their sex life, but untill you come onto a site where people are anonymous, you rarely get the truth...

I always suspected I had a much stronger sex drive than most people, and have always been aware of how it affected me in everyday life...In some ways it is great, but in other ways it is to say the least a distraction.....I

It was my great fortune to meet and marry a stunning woman who could handle my needs, raise kids, and cook...God watches out over fools I guess...

I have always been a faithful husband, but dearly LOVE to look at a well turned female...I told my wife "when I stop noticing a good looking woman, bury me". She had issues with it early on, but I have never made the slightest suggestion of straying, even when being alone on a job in Panama City Beach for 13 months....And she has learned she has absolutely nothing to worry about....

There is a difference between admiring a beautiful woman from a distance, and acting like an idiot...And I know and respect those boundaries....But I sure like to admire.....

I have never discussed this with my dad, he will be 96 on the 28th. and lives with us...He is hearing impaired, and watches westerns all day wearing headphones....My wife said the other day the camera panned up the backside of a dancehall gal, and dad said mmmm mmmm mmmm....I guess the acorn dosn't fall far from the tree.....

So, fellow board members, do you find being HD a burden?.....


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Yes. When you don't have someone to come close to matching it with, it flat out sucks.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Yes. 

I wish modern medicine had a reasonable solution that wasn't just an unpleasant side-effect for a primary illness.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

I would imagine it can be if the drives are so mismatched. If neither partner is willing to meet each other half way in deciding on what a healthy sex life means for them one or the other may think its a burden.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think it's only likely to be a burden if we're unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with someone whose drive is vastly different from our own.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

As a woman, being high drive has never been a burden. More like a gift from heaven. My opinion has always been that it is easier to convince a man to have sex than a woman.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

AnnieAsh said:


> As a woman, being high drive has never been a burden. More like a gift from heaven. My opinion has always been that it is easier to convince a man to have sex than a woman.


Unless he's LD. There's nothing worse, IMO, than passionless sex


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

HD as a female is a blessing and a burden.It's a blessing if you have a partner who understands that just because you're HD with him doesn't mean you've gone around town spreading your legs for every man who swings his wang your way.
It's a burden if you're with someone who thinks just because you are HD with them,you must be a sl*t who is HD with every one.As a side note,if you're blessed with HD then you shouldn't waste your time with the guy who thinks because you're HD you must also be a sl*t.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> HD as a female is a blessing and a burden.It's a blessing if you have a partner who understands that just because you're HD with him doesn't mean you've gone around town spreading your legs for every man who swings his wang your way.
> It's a burden if you're with someone who thinks just because you are HD with them,you must be a sl*t who is HD with every one.As a side note,if you're blessed with HD then you shouldn't waste your time with the guy who thinks because you're HD you must also be a sl*t.


Hence why I like the saying "Every guy wants a lady in the street and a sl*t in the bed" 

I only judge a woman by what she does in bed in my relationship, not prior to dating her. She can be a sl*t for me (and only me) all she wants though


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Unless he's LD. There's nothing worse, IMO, than passionless sex


100% agree! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Yep


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Yep, blessing and a curse..


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## notsocool (Jul 4, 2010)

I've often wondered if HD people fullfill their potential in careers/ business etc. Does their drive power them along more or does it detract from focus on the main game.
I have found hd an ongoing burden at times and just wished it away, tho eventually came to accept it as just ' being who I am'
Trying to concentrate at work or other activities and having this relentless desire totally distracting me.
Having an orgasm for example in the morning might only take the edge off and a couple hours later your body is craving it again.
I'm my relationship it's great, but many times thru my life I've perceived it as a burden.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

burdon if your not paired up with someone who is HD or at least will compromise.


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## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

Both me and my H are pretty HD (we both like it at least once a day) .... so it can be a huge burden when we are working so many hours.

It's not even a case of being 'too tired' (that's never stopped us!) It's simply a case of not having enough time to spend with each other, which really sucks when you're HD and a quickie every morning just isn't enough!!

So in that respect, yes, big burden... But to be honest, the constant raging desire is actually quite amazing in a whole other sense, and makes the long intense sex (when we finally get to it on the weekend!) all the better


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I am defiinetly HD and it has been a problem in most relationships. The early infatuation phase is usually great in that I'm finally running at my normal pace. As the infatuation phase wanes my partner starts to slow down and I'm still wanting to run at normal for me. I married a woman who seemed to be able to keep up and enjoy it....that is until the marriage and suddenly she became a lazy lover who was happy to begin using sex as a weapon in the relationship. Another danger to being HD.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

It can be. Even though my wife has improved on her LD, I am always looking to drop a load and she isn't. It does cause some friction.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

notsocool said:


> I've often wondered if HD people fullfill their potential in careers/ business etc. Does their drive power them along more or does it detract from focus on the main game.
> I have found hd an ongoing burden at times and just wished it away, tho eventually came to accept it as just ' being who I am'
> Trying to concentrate at work or other activities and having this relentless desire totally distracting me.
> Having an orgasm for example in the morning might only take the edge off and a couple hours later your body is craving it again.
> ...


Exactly right. Really good point....I was a mechanical designer for most of my career, and I developed an intense focus on my projects. I have literally spent 8 1/2 hours at a CAD terminal without a lunch break, or a pee break...It was a defense mechanism against being distracted by sex....

Of course I was always horney in high school, everyone is. but then I got married, and knew something wasn't "NORMAL" I have seen the time when I would have sex 3 times with my wife in the morning, and my head would snap around at a glimpse of a well turned girl on the way to work that afternoon...It was at that time when I realised I would never really get enough....Until I came on this board, I couldn't concieve of anyone under 70 needing viagra...

I am one of the lucky ones in finding a wife I couldn't keep my hands off of, and who was almost my equil in libido....

The problem is, what's the use of raging hormones at 66 years of age......


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## artdeco63 (Dec 11, 2012)

Looking but not touching for 13 months? As long as you can "take the problem in hand" and have no desire for contacting others, you're ok. I think.


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## mhg (Dec 5, 2012)

A resounding no from me.
I've been with my wife for 14 yrs, married for 12. I'm 47, she's 44.
She also has a high sex drive, and it is normal for us to have sex at least 2 or 3 times every night and I often come home from work during the day for one or two. We go away regularly for full on sex holidays, where 9 or ten times a night is the usual.
Even when she's not really in the mood, I know exactly the things to do to GET her in the mood. And by the way, she is watching as I type this, so she knows I have my devious ways of getting her turned on.
I have never found it to be a burden at all.
The only difference for me is this - I'm not the slightest bit turned on by other women, only my wife. So if a woman walks past, it doesn't make my head snap around and rev up my hormones.
If my wife calls me however, or texts me, or I can't stop thinking about her, then it's straight home and into it. 
As for whether someone can have a successful working life, I do. I own my own business, direct my team of dozer drivers, drive dozers myself as well as other manual work. I suppose I'm lucky in that I work around my need for sex - if I want it, I go home and get it. I don't let work stop me. If my wife calls and says she's in the mood, well ****** the work, it will wait till another time.
Hearing my gorgeous wife when she O's, that can never wait.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Yes! When you are with some one who doesn't even come close to a matching it. For me it is a living hell!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

artdeco63 said:


> Looking but not touching for 13 months? As long as you can "take the problem in hand" and have no desire for contacting others, you're ok. I think.


I was on an interesting project, doing design work for a company that builds miniature submarines, or as they called them, swimmer delivery vehicles...

I was able to focus on work, and ignore the OTHER distractions rather easily, even during spring break. Never even went to a strip club (one on every corner)....

I think I am the clasic "One woman man"...Which makes it easy to stay monogamous. Of course I got home every 6 weeks or so, and we had a great time.....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

When my sex drive when into OVERDRIVE......I suddenly lost interest in almost everything but getting my emotionally connected physical BANG... The mighty orgasm was the days Highlight.....nothing excited me more so. I was like a vulture who was ready to take my man down at every opportunity he was ABLE to get it up. I LIVED for his erections. Gawd this must sound ridiculous! I felt like my mind was hi-jacked... I was loving it ....but it the same time it was like a CURSE. 

I would have died & went to heaven for 3 times a day, but had to settle on Once...I got him twice a couple times though!  

I even bought some toys for the 1st time trying to leave him alone..... found this so hollow in comparison. I still craved HIM as much as the release itself. He told me to bother him anyway ~ I have a very loving man. 

It was so strong, I seriously wondered if I had a Sex Addiction. What I think happened is I had a dopamine & Testosterone surge that lasted for 8 full months...What a ride. 

I am so very thankful I got to experience this though... as it gave me a whole new appreciation & respect for what young men go through (All high drivers in love )....... I seriously "get" their pain in a lower drive marriage.. just imagining how I would feel if my husband rejected me, I would have cried a river of tears - plus blew a FUSE that blow the roof off the house ...He wouldn't have been able to put up with me... Thankfully he was lovin' my new sex obsession. 

....so this is no walk in the park being Higher drive.... it is very emotional... very difficult.... very hurtful to be with a partner who doesn't "get " our insatiable need. 

I would never survive in a marriage where the man wasn't crazy about








.... I'd have to leave or I'd be ripe for falling into something, life is too short and sex is just so exhilerating... the emotional connection & the Physical release...together, this is like a HIGH. 

Even with my drive kicked back down to where it always was....I'd say I am ruined, now that I have tasted of that... I'm still addicted.... I want to recapture that essence of Bliss over & over again....it's changed our marriage... for the GOOD.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> When my sex drive when into OVERDRIVE......I suddenly lost interest in almost everything but getting my emotionally connected physical BANG... The mighty orgasm was the days Highlight.....nothing excited me more so. I was like a vulture who was ready to take my man down at every opportunity he was ABLE to get it up. I LIVED for his erections. Gawd this must sound ridiculous! I felt like my mind was hi-jacked... I was loving it ....but it the same time it was like a CURSE.
> 
> I would have died & went to heaven for 3 times a day, but had to settle on Once...I got him twice a couple times though!
> 
> ...


Not just young men.... At age 66 I could easily have sex every day, and "tonight and again in the morning" would be my idea of MARRIED BLISS....And it was so for many years....

Posts like yours are the main reason I come to this board. It is so refreshing to hear comments and opinions from so many people on a subject that is dear to most of us, but socially taboo in most situations.......

Your openness is like a breath of fresh air. Not caving in to a prudish society, and saying what you feel, and mean is not common but certainly heartily welcomed....:smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Woodchuck said:


> Not just young men.... At age 66 I could easily have sex every day, and "tonight and again in the morning" would be my idea of MARRIED BLISS....And it was so for many years.


 You are very healthy Woodchuck ~ 66! damn I say!! :smthumbup:

You are way higher drive than my husband ... at age 45 -when he couldn't keep up, I didn't waste any time sending him to the Encronologist (this is funny looking back, had to downplay why we were really there).... we learned his Test Levels were on the lower side of normal (lowest 323 - highest 504 out of 9 tests) ... she said his levels were normal for a 60 yr old man... that comment worried & stressed me out for months!! Thinking







....I was just getting started and he is finished. 

... Then after reading 2 books on Testosterone & scouring the net for information... I realized some Men are Lower their whole lives (he was never the Aggressive type anyway) and for them, these #'s do not mean they need therapy -even though some men with his levels are on it. He always loved







~ I needed to calm my jets. Truly men come in all levels of TEST too.... the higher drive ones are likely the ones feeling more CURSED...without a very freaky novelty filled happening







life. 




Woodchuck said:


> Your openness is like a breath of fresh air. Not caving in to a prudish society, and saying what you feel, and mean is not common but certainly heartily welcomed....:smthumbup:


I had far too many years of feeling this subject was TABOO...I think because of this...once I woke up, I went a little MAD....like







-what the hell have we been missing [email protected]#$%

So yeah.... I took the bull by the horns and well... its been very enlightening/ exhilerating / greatest blessing to our marriage ever... My Awakening story  Here  ~ just to point out... yeah... women can change... It's a mindset. Though I do not believe I was ever "low drive", I just had other things distracting me all those yrs.  








Woodchuck... I adore this subject..and feel if I could help some women/wives NOT make the same mistakes I did in our early marriage.... this would bring me great happiness... After all...all we have is our story.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

It has always been a burden to me. It is ESPECIALLY exacerbated by having an LD/ND spouse. But I find it truly distracting in almost all aspects of my life. Sitting here trying to work and thinking about sex...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> You are very healthy Woodchuck ~ 66! damn I say!! :smthumbup:
> 
> You are way higher drive than my husband ... at age 45 -when he couldn't keep up, I didn't waste any time sending him to the Encronologist (this is funny looking back, had to downplay why we were really there).... we learned his Test Levels were on the lower side of normal (lowest 323 - highest 504 out of 9 tests) ... she said his levels were normal for a 60 yr old man... that comment worried & stressed me out for months!! Thinking
> 
> ...


You are absolutely right, At least I can come here and feel like an "elder statesman" of sex instead of just a "horney old ba$tard....

I have seen some of my nieces and nephews screw up so totally in maters of sex, and felt at the time that if I could have sat them down and been brutally frank with them, I could have done them a lot of good.....One niece got pregnant buy a guy with two other kids by two different "baby mommas".....What the hell was she thinking????

Also I have a long track record of marriage, and even
though there have been rough spots, I think I can still give good advice to lots of folks...
.
Being HD all my life, I have always had a sense of "sexual ethics"....Something that a lot of people seem to lack...I would never enter into a sexual relationship unless it was right for BOTH of us, and after marriage, remained faithful to my wife for lo these many years... 

We are having some frequency issues now, but she is a very sexual being, and I am certain we will work it out.....

I have never been tested for T levels, I kinda figured "why ask a stupid question".........I just take it a day at a time being the mixed blessing and curse it is, and doing my best....Hopefully without hurting my wifes feelings.....:lol:


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

artdeco63 said:


> Looking but not touching for 13 months? As long as you can "take the problem in hand" and have no desire for contacting others, you're ok. I think.


Looking but not touching is not a problem with me...

Got dragged into a rough strip club in Memphis (Dannys, now closed)...Went to a trade show with the guys, they wanted to leave early, and check out the titt%Y bars......I rode with them so.....

It was absolutely NOT a turn on for me, I might as well have been watching a puppet show, the girls were not even real as far as I was concerned....

If I know nothing is going to happen, my sex drive just dosn't engage...Hence the "look don't touch" mode....If on the other hand, there is a good chance of some action, I am INSTANTLY ready.....


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