# no sex in marriage



## oldfashonguy (May 24, 2012)

I’ve been with my wife for 12 years , married for 5 of them . basically since we got married it seems like she is just not interested in sex. its like she doesn’t think it is something you should be doing on a regular basis , it seems like she sees it as something that you do if you can get all the house work done and the kids to sleep .... i know that at the end of a long day most parents of small children don't have the energy for stuff like that but even when we are at home during the day with out the kids she seems to find other things that need her attention.

lately I have stop trying to initiate sex because I got tired of the rejection and I started feeling like a perv.

i am a very romantic guy - i cook , I am a massage therapist , I defiantly don't skip foreplay. I know that she likes sex because she doesn’t know how to fake it .its like sex is only for making babies. is this just what happens when you get married? please help me!!!

to save us all time: i have tried complementing her , I do more than my share around the house, i have made time for her to take naps in case the problem is lack of sleep. i have tried to tell her how i feel she just doesn’t seem to see sex as a something we need on a regular basis!!!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

How old are the kids?

No, this isn't what marriage is supposed to be but after 26 years, I understand how you feel about the rejection and it is something wrestle with to. I have almost stopped intiating completely over the last month and a half myself and I am planning our last ditch talk early next month


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Honestly, I don't know why you guys put up with it.

I mean, I do, you have financial and emotional ties, you have kids, but this is not acceptable. This is not what marriage is supposed to be, and it is eating away at your soul. 

Sorry - JMHO.


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## Hurra (Sep 13, 2009)

What was it like before kids? How much time was there between tying the knot and the first child?


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

You won't turn your wife on by approaching her in an ass kissing way. You also won't turn your wife on by treating her like she's this almighty princess that has the power to grant you the gift of sex. 

You bring just as much to the table as she does, so you she begin acting that way. Step away for a bit and do other things, because this will drive you crazy. Go hang with the fellas, hit a bar to watch the game, go golfing or do whatever it is that makes you happy, because right now, it isn't her.

If you were a product, your value would be low because it's too easy for her to get. If you act like a dog at the doorstep begging to get in, that's how she'll keep treating you.

I also have some literature that has been known to save a few marriage sex lives. I'll e-mail you a copy if you shoot me a PM with an address to send it to.

But basically, DON'T allow her to make you feel bad for wanting to do what you signed up for when you said "I do." You're a man and you want sex, that doesn't make you a perv.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Put down the dishcloth. Stop with the romance. Having sex with one's husband is the absolute bare minimum participation required of a wife....not a good wife, not a great wife, just any old piss-poor, sorry, excuse for a wife. If she's not a wife, what's all the scrubbing bubbles about? If her contribution to the marriage is limited to housecleaning, toss her a few bucks. Appear happy around the house but make yourself scarce whenever possible. Make sure she knows (or suspects) that wherever you go is loaded with fine women and fun. She has become lazy and indifferent. Time to make her spin the wheel if she wants some cheese.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> Put down the dishcloth. Stop with the romance. Having sex with one's husband is the absolute bare minimum participation required of a wife....not a good wife, not a great wife, just any old piss-poor, sorry, excuse for a wife. If she's not a wife, what's all the scrubbing bubbles about? If her contribution to the marriage is limited to housecleaning, toss her a few bucks. Appear happy around the house but make yourself scarce whenever possible. Make sure she knows (or suspects) that wherever you go is loaded with fine women and fun. She has become lazy and indifferent. Time to make her spin the wheel if she wants some cheese.


This. With emphasis on the fine women and fun.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

Totally agree with Blue Moon and unbelievable. Just one addition: You want to make sure that you don't appear as if you've lost complete interest in her. That IMO would turn her off just as well.

You should definitely show interest in her (although in a bit more healthy and balanced way than right now). When you do show interest, rather than romancing her you want to play with her. 

Stop those serious talks and give her you most pimpish play. Like you're fooling around with one of your girls.

Then: Let her do things around the house. Some of us guys have just learned over time to feel guilty whenever they see their wife in the kitchen while not immediately running after her with an effort to help. 

Allow yourself to be a little more unfair in the house. I have learned that men and women in general often have a very different understanding of what's fair and what's unfair. I believe you're gonna be surprised.

And one more thing from my own experience: My wife NEVER wants me to ask her if she "would like to make love now". She wants to see me "raw" and she wants me to take her.


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