# How do you make it work?



## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

I love my husband and I want our marriage to work. It seems like marriages break so easily. Sometimes I hear of these marriages that last 40 or 50 years. How do they keep it together for so long? I do my best to make sure my husband is happy. What if that's not enough? I wish I knew the magic formula for a marriage that last so I don't make a lot of mistakes.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

There is no "magic" formula, unfortunately. Be faithful and always put each other first.

Have faith, and have fun.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Yeah, no magic formula... just compromise and remembering to put your marriage first, no matter what other obstacles may come up. And if you catch yourself in a rut, do things to fix it, and acknowledge your parts in fights, in downtimes etc. Talk openly about feelings. I've been married 10 years... we have our ups and downs and lately we've been in a rut, but I've been proactive. It's hard sometimes you can't just read your spouses mind, sometimes you just have to ask, do you like this? how do you feel about that?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Banish selfishness. Both of you consistently put the other's needs first. Do that and neither will abuse the other, disrespect the other, or engage in any other marriage-destroying behavior.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Not yet married, but something I have learned. When big fights happen... really listen to the other person and find a solution. When a petty fight occurs (the ones where we know we're both fighting for really no reason)... be the bigger person and concede. Don't let those petty fights escalate. That is the birthplace of resentment.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Marriage is a work in progress. 

It's kinda like having a permanent roommate forever that you love.

Sometimes they'll drive you absolutely crazy..and then other times you can't love them more.

If you ask someone that's been married for 25 years or 50 years..or even 75 years..they'll sit and tell you all the things that drive them crazy about the person they've been married to for that long.

....while in the meantime...they're holding their loved ones hand..and couldn't love them more!!


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## marriedglad (Dec 5, 2011)

There is no formula. Marriage is give and take. It is a bond of a lifetime, and thus, gets a little edgy and rough at times. It ought to be difficult, but if there is trust and respect between the spouses, nothing can hinder their solemn union. If you're in a fight, try distance for a while, but not long. Spend some time alone, and indulge in completing the pending work. I'm not asking you to take the time out to consider whether to keep this marriage or break it off, but to let the anger and sadness extinguish with time. If you love your husband/wife, some time away heals the biggest wounds, because eventually, you start missing their love and company.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

hmm.... reading your post, my thoughts are to accept that you are going to make mistakes and so will your husband. Do your best to meet each others needs but recognize you're not responsible for, and can't control, his happiness. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. Try to make peace with the thought that you're not in control of everything. Life has its own rhythm.

There's no magic formula. It's all a journey, with lots of opportunity for growth.


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