# Reasonable to expect your H to keep junk out of the house?



## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

What do you ladies do when you're on a diet or trying to change eating habits, but your husband keeps on tempting you with junk he brings in? Is it reasonable to ask that he just not bring it in the house? 

I am trying to cut processed foods and refined sugars completely. I've noticed a severe lack of energy lately along with getting migraines pretty often. It's affecting me at work and the home. I already work about 50+ hours a week, then have no energy for house work or exercise due to the migraines.

I've decided to cut processed foods and refined sugars and am starting to feel great! I come home from a long day at work and still have the energy to cook and clean. It's only been a week too. In that week my husband has come home with junk every day. Ice cream and soda. 

It drives me crazy as he sits right next to me while he eats whatever junk. It's starting to make me moody towards him when I see him coming home it.

Is it fair to impose a no junk in the house rule? Is that unreasonable? The other part of the equation is that I would like for us to start trying for a baby soon and don't feel like that's a good idea with my health at its current state. I'm already tempted all day by the vast amounts of snacks at my job, it's exhausting to have to do it at home too.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

This is my son. He brings junk food in everyday after school. He can't eat alone he has to share, oh just take a bite mum. So, I he gave me cheese doodles, and I got sick. My stomach was hurting so bad, it's all his fault. He then said you shouldn't have eaten that, but he fed it to me. That boy is trying to kill me.

I have started to lock my bedroom door when he gets home. It stupid but we have been doing this since he was a little boy.

Have you tried giving up wheat? It will help with the headaches and fatigue.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

brooklynAnn said:


> This is my son. He brings junk food in everyday after school. He can't eat alone he has to share, oh just take a bite mum. So, I he gave me cheese doodles, and I got sick. My stomach was hurting so bad, it's all his fault. He then said you shouldn't have eaten that, but he fed it to me. That boy is trying to kill me.
> 
> I have started to lock my bedroom door when he gets home. It stupid but we have been doing this since he was a little boy.
> 
> Have you tried giving up wheat? It will help with the headaches and fatigue.


Ugh that would drive me crazy, lol! It's one thing to bring it home, but if my husband insisted I have some I know I'd cave too. That's so hard.

I've cut wheat as well. Basically I'm on a caveman type diet. Meats, egg, fruits and veggies. Breads, pastas and rice trigger me, along with refined sugars and sweets. My plan is to eat like this for a few weeks until I feel a lot better. Then slowly integrate the good carbs and find the ones I take well and filter out the ones I react poorly to. Then integrate exercise as my energy goes up. My cardio sucks so bad right now!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Has he always had junk food at home or is this a new behaviour which makes you think he is trying to sabotage your efforts?

If it is how he has always been then I would just let it go and continue on your own path to a healthier lifestyle. In the end it is better to learn how to live the lifestyle you choose regardless of what others around you do, you will be stronger for it especially when it is time to go out and eat socially. 

I have a reasonably good diet but as I get older I have chosen to become stricter with myself when we have others over or we go out as I don't want to put on weight, that is my choice and not anyone else's issue to have to conform to.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Celes said:


> Is it fair to impose a no junk in the house rule? Is that unreasonable?


Yes, it's unreasonable. As much as I understand how it feels from your perspective, do what you need for you but don't attempt to impose it onto your husband. 

And I'm speaking from experience. Having been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Many, many, moons ago, I felt a certain way of eating was the way to go for both us, which we did together... until my husband (as he says with a chuckle) '...Found his balls again'. 

Now if I want to eat a certain way that's not our typical lifestyle, it's my choice. And his balls are not neglected.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

This is mostly a mental thing on your part.

Once you decide to commit to eating healthier, the junk will fade away as a temptation. Who cares what others are eating? This is about YOU.

I gave up bread and pasta almost 10 years ago. In the last few years, I have given up ALL processed foods, sugar, and prepared condiments.

In the past 3 months I have given up grains, legumes and alcohol.

I don't miss any of it. I feel like a million bucks!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Take ownership of your life choices.
Stop blaming anyone else for what you are doing.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

If anything else, his choice of foods may lend to your willpower to resist them.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@celes, his food choices shouldn't affect your decision to eat right. It's hard, trust me I get that, but asking him to give up his sweets is unfair to him. As long as he's not actively tempting you with it (active meaning he's putting the spoon in your face saying "here, try some", he should have the freedom to eat whatever he enjoys. 

My recommendation, since you said you're not getting any Cardio in, is to take a walk outside whenever you see him pull out the ice cream. He is free to eat whatever he wants but no one said you had to sit there and watch him do it.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I think it is wrong, I eat healthier than my H but would never tell him he can't have his snacks. I have healthy snacks for myself, that way if his eating gets to me I go grab one of my health snacks.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I would not want to be married to someone with poor eating habits. And it could take a health crisis to wake him up.

Are you sure you want to have children with him? You may end up feeling like the only parent in the household.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

jld said:


> I would not want to be married to someone with poor eating habits. And it could take a health crisis to wake him up.
> 
> Are you sure you want to have children with him? You may end up feeling like the only parent in the household.


Are you serious.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

im_tam said:


> Are you serious.


Absolutely. 

The time before children is the easiest to move on if she is not satisfied.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

jld said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> 
> 
> The time before children is the easiest to move on if she is not satisfied.



Seriously? He's a bad partner because he brought ice cream and soda? Why are you blaming him for the fact that she can't control herself? 

Op, I don't want to be mean but you need to learn to see those things and not get tempted. The last time I had soda was in 2012. I regularly go to lunch with my friends and order water with lemon even when they order a Coke. I'm not tempted at all to drink it. My mom always has tons of soda, beer, wine, ice cream etc... Yet it doesn't bother me at all. 

There's nothing wrong in drinking soda and consuming ice cream with moderation. I chose to give up soda for abs. I have ice cream in the summer but I regularly work out. 


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

No you can't ask that of him. I started a weight loss program 2 years ago cutting out all sugars and junk food. My husband was overweight too but wasn't on board and kept buying junk food for himself. He was also a diabetic so he knew he shouldnt be eating unhealthy foods. He is the grocery shopper in the house. I didn't say a thing and just didn't eat the food. I put healthy food on the list and he had no problems buying it. It was up to me to resist the junk food. I just made sure I had a lot of healthy food in the house. I can't control what he eats.

He eventually started eating healthier and we have both lost weight. He still buys some snack foods (chips and cookies) but no longer buys any sugar foods like ice cream which was a real temptation for me.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

spinsterdurga said:


> Seriously? He's a bad partner because he brought ice cream and soda? Why are you blaming him for the fact that she can't control herself?


Who said he is a bad partner?

Ime, it is already hard enough to eat right oneself. With a partner who brings in junk food, it can be even harder. And kids are a whole other ball game.

The easiest time to be picky about a partner is before kids. We all pay a price for how we eat. And our eating can be influenced by our intimate partner.

Just be sure you are ready to pay that price, OP.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Thanks for the responses! I agree that it's unreasonable of me. Which is why I haven't said anything so far and never said anything anytime I've ever dieted. I'm not seeking to blame him and I'm able to resist the temptation. I think it's the carb withdrawal making me cranky since it's the first week.

Also, I didn't mean that I want him to give up junk forever. More like until I feel back to normal and my migraines have stopped. I went from having them every single day for the last month to only having one this week and I know they'll keep decreasing. At most I'd need a month of no junk around to stop the headache cycle. Like I said, I'm also doing this because I would like to have a baby soon and in the condition I'm in now that would be a bad idea. So it's something I'm doing for both of us. 

I will say though that the carb cravings seem to be fading so that's a good sign! Thanks for talking sense to me ladies


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

jld said:


> I would not want to be married to someone with poor eating habits. And it could take a health crisis to wake him up.
> 
> Are you sure you want to have children with him? You may end up feeling like the only parent in the household.


His eating habits aren't that bad at all. Or I wouldn't have married him lol. I know my OP sounds harsh but both of us are in pretty good shape. He doesn't eat junk during the day at work and he has no problem eating whatever healthy meal I've prepared when he gets home. Both of us just like to have a little something at the end of the day.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

jld said:


> Who said he is a bad partner?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It is implied in your post. Asking whether she wants to have kids with him and saying that now is the time to walk is implying that he's bad partner. As least that's what I got from the post. Eating ice cream and drinking soda doesn't make one a *future* bad parent. 

It is hard for *some* people to eat right. It has always been easy for me to eat right. My parent taught me to eat with moderation. I didn't give up soda because I didn't want to gain weight. I gave up soda to have abs. 

One's healthy eating habits shouldn't depend on their partner. People need to learn to be accountable for their own choices. I would be singing a different tune if she said in her original post that her husband needed to give up junk food for his health. 

Lastly, none of my partners have influenced my eating habits. If your partner influences your eating habits, it's your own fault--sorry!--. 


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

spinsterdurga said:


> It is implied in your post. Asking whether she wants to have kids with him and saying that now is the time to walk is implying that he's bad partner. As least that's what I got from the post. Eating ice cream and drinking soda doesn't make one a *future* bad parent.
> 
> It is hard for *some* people to eat right. It has always been easy for me to eat right. My parent taught me to eat with moderation. I didn't give up soda because I didn't want to gain weight. I gave up soda to have abs.
> 
> ...


I said nothing about his being a "bad" partner. Yes, we all take away different things from what we read.

Celes, if you are happy with how things are, good enough.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

jld said:


> I said nothing about his being a "bad" partner. Yes, we all take away different things from what we read.
> 
> 
> 
> Celes, if you are happy with how things are, good enough.



Alright. 

Why did you ask her if she wanted to stay with him? So are you saying that one should leave a good partner? People leave good partners just because? 

It was implied in your post. No one in their right mind would advise someone to leave a good partner. Generally, people advise others to leave bad partners. 


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

spinsterdurga said:


> Alright.
> 
> Why did you ask her if she wanted to stay with him? So are you saying that one should leave a good partner? People leave good partners just because?
> 
> ...


Because having children is a big undertaking. The more compatible the partners, the more energy that will be freed up for parenting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

If a woman gets fat and unhealthy, blame is on the husband who failed by providing bad food.
If a woman has an affair, blame it on the husband who was deaf to her needs and emotions.

Isnt that how you work Jld?
Women are like sheep, the MAN must be the shepherd and take care of his woman in every way possible.


OP, Jld is one good example of why you must apply a little caution in accepting anyone's (INCLUDING ME) advice on a public forum.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Ok, this thread is derailing fast. This was meant to be a light thread. I don't believe jld was implying my husband was a bad partner at all. I believe she may have implied we were incompatible. Which I would agree to if he did indeed have generally terrible eating habits. I can see how much friction that would cause with kids involved. One parent promoting healthy eating and the other feeding them McDonald's would definitely cause issues. 

Like I said it doesn't apply to my case.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

@OP:
Now that we are on page 2 and quite a few responses are in....What do you feel about your question and its application on your life?


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## Julius Beastcavern (May 11, 2015)

I think ignoring his eating habits will allow you to develop the iron will required to stay on the path to health. Good luck OP


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