# Men, what do you prefer in a woman (PERSONALITY version)



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Follow up to other thread. What do you prefer in a woman behind the looks? Shy, outgoing, neat, slob, lots of friends, not many friends, playful, mature, or a wide selection of other things.

I can't possibly think of a poll to satisfy what everyone's answer would be, so please make your own response  :smthumbup:


----------



## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Intelligent, funny, talented, loving, affectionate, passionate, compassionate, level-headed, full of common sense.


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Personal said:


> I prefer a woman with high intelligence and honesty (i.e. clever and rather blunt), who is also pragmatic, determined, realistic, sexually adventurous with a sexy outlook and is comfortable with themselves. Who also has a sense of humour and enjoys fine food and dining, art, theatre, music (live and otherwise), literature and history.
> 
> By the way ariel_angel77 you are not off the hook! So, what personality do you prefer in a woman, either (theoretically) for a love mate, or practically for a friend?


Oooh good one! Never thought about that one before.

Since I am as straight as a pole, I am not able to think of what I would want in a woman love mate. But, in a best friend, I look for: someone who can make me laugh x10, someone who makes me feel good about myself, someone I can trust, loves doing hair & makeup (because I love people playing with my hair and doing my makeup), Christian, doesn't have a mean bone in her body, motivates me, will watch numerous chick flicks with me, and that I can talk to about ANYTHING easily.

It's probably A LOT different from what you men would look for in a love mate. lol


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Honesty, integrity, confident and family oriented ( able to put others above herself)


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Healthy sex drive, good in bed, able to compartmentalise emotions, and that's about it 

Only looking for FWB these days so


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> Healthy sex drive, good in bed, able to compartmentalise emotions, and that's about it
> 
> Only looking for FWB these days so


Really dude? Haha


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah pretty much, simple standards personality-wise!

My list for anything more than FWB would take a thread, not a post!


----------



## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Wow, would you guys quit describing me? You are making me blush.


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

Sense of humour, young at heart (such as, will watch cartoons and eat candy!), high sex drive, intelligent, active, affectionate.


----------



## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Intelligent, adventurous, curious, able to laugh (doesn't have to be funny, but needs to recognize the humor in situations), not materialistic, warm. 

I'm wondering how many people listed their own traits as opposed to traits they don't have, but want in a GF.


----------



## FromEurope (Jun 29, 2014)

2 things only:
respecting and intelligent.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
Good question, not easy to answer. Mostly what I want is a woman it is fun to be with. That leads to a few things:

Happy: This is probably the most important. I don't care how beautiful someone is, or who many PhD's they have, if they are unhappy, it is impossible for me to be happy in their presence. 

Intelligent / interesting: Someone I can talk with about a variety of things and who has good ideas.

Adventuresome: willing to try new things in life and in bed. Someone willing to take (reasonable) chances and accept that the don't always work out.

Easy going: Someone who does not get upset when things don't go according to plan. When your flight to Venice gets diverted to Frankfurt where you are stuck for a day, rather than complain about how annoying it is, will be happy to explore Frankfurt - while jokingly complaining that it is the most boring city on earth.

No land mines: I want someone where I don't need to be careful about what I say. Its find (and good) for them to disagree with me, but I don't want to have to think over very word before I say it. I remember standing in line ones with friends, discussing what we would do if we won a lottery. On guy said something like "fast cars and fast women" - and his girlfriend got seriously upset for the rest of the evening. That sort of comment deserves a playful slap, not a evening of moping. 

An active and varied interest in sex is a big win as well.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

All of the things that make up my wife (too long to list).


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

A chick who's a total b1tch...that way it's easier to rationalize leaving when I get bored


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

DoF said:


> All of the things that make up my wife (too long to list).


That is so sweet!!


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> A chick who's a total b1tch...that way it's easier to rationalize leaving when I get bored


Oh lord. Here we go. LOL


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

ariel_angel77 said:


> That is so sweet!!


Well, thank you


----------



## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

ariel_angel77 said:


> Follow up to other thread. What do you prefer in a woman behind the looks? Shy, outgoing, neat, slob, lots of friends, not many friends, playful, mature, or a wide selection of other things.
> 
> I can't possibly think of a poll to satisfy what everyone's answer would be, so please make your own response  :smthumbup:


The first two things I look for are intelligence and curiosity. I also like passion (as in she is passionate about something), fun-loving, easy going, relaxed, bubbly, goofy but can also be serious, kind, sweet, compassionate and tender.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Angry, paranoid, control freak, nagging, OCD, martyr complex, violent, scolding, unhappy harpy.

Saves the painful middle period of hoping that's not the case.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

ariel_angel77 said:


> Oh lord. Here we go. LOL


You have to know I said that completely in jest


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Of course


----------



## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

intelligence. empathy. selflessness. confidence. nurturing nature. sense of humor.

Funny how this list has changed over time.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Not crazy. An adult.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Sense of humor, confident, kind, compassionate and respectful. That's a good start.


----------



## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

humor
extroverted
uninhibited (maybe a little open minded)
comfortable in her own skin/clothes
passionate

If she doesnt have a great laugh, if she is quiet and I have to keep the conversation going, I am out


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ariel_angel77 said:


> Follow up to other thread. What do you prefer in a woman behind the looks? Shy, outgoing, neat, slob, lots of friends, not many friends, playful, mature, or a wide selection of other things.
> 
> I can't possibly think of a poll to satisfy what everyone's answer would be, so please make your own response  :smthumbup:



A sweet personality, mature, one that is more of a homebody than having to be somewhere all the time.

As for intelligence, I notice a lot of people mention that when they speak of qualities they want in a person, but I'm not sure exactly what they mean. 

I assume nobody wants someone that makes you feel like you have another child instead of a spouse, but being that people go to the trouble of mentioning intelligence as an attractive feature I assume they want intelligence to stand out and be above and beyond the usual person.

I hear people talk about having intelligent conversation. I'm not sure what they mean. I have a Master's degree, but if you want tot talk politics and Shakespeare on a date, I'll probably doze off.


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

southbound said:


> A sweet personality, mature, one that is more of a homebody than having to be somewhere all the time.
> 
> As for intelligence, I notice a lot of people mention that when they speak of qualities they want in a person, but I'm not sure exactly what they mean.
> 
> ...


I think they probably mean that they want someone they have a mental connection with.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ariel_angel77 said:


> I think they probably mean that they want someone they have a mental connection with.


That could be. When people mention intelligence, perhaps it is just another way of defining "normal" as well. Perhaps they have went out with too many people who pick their nose and spout off toilet jokes all through the date. Who knows. I took it to mean they want people who like to discuss the periodic table and world politics. that may be a little sarcastic there, but you know what I mean. that kind of stuff bores me to tears.


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

Lol that would bore me too! For me, when I say that I want someone intelligent, I personally mean that I want them to be mature and have the intelligence to abstain from immaturity.


----------



## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

As far as personality...Sounds like what we want in a marriage partner is about the same we would want in a best friend. 

Not many women talk sports though...

Some people inspire me to be better...not my wife....I like that trait in the very very few friends I have...


----------



## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

southbound said:


> As for intelligence, I notice a lot of people mention that when they speak of qualities they want in a person, but I'm not sure exactly what they mean.
> 
> I assume nobody wants someone that makes you feel like you have another child instead of a spouse, but being that people go to the trouble of mentioning intelligence as an attractive feature I assume they want intelligence to stand out and be above and beyond the usual person.
> 
> I hear people talk about having intelligent conversation. I'm not sure what they mean. I have a Master's degree, but if you want tot talk politics and Shakespeare on a date, I'll probably doze off.


To me it means being able to talk about interests in detail and with the ability to make original observations. Also to have opinions that show some thought. You could talk about farming, pottery, doll making, or whatever. I'm curious about lots of stuff and about what other people think. I won't necessarily connect with a particular topic but I can appreciate enough to make a conversation of it. 

I was once on a business trip with a female coworker of my own age who could only talk about The Bachelor and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire TV shows. It wasn't ironic or perceptive conversation. She just wanted to talk about the minutiae of the show. It was like she was gossiping about her friends. I commented that I had never seen the show and she just kept going. Longest four hour drive of my life! Excruciating!!


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Every woman and girlfriends I've been with played games.
Even the good ones.

'She love me, she loves me not' 

I finally found a woman that doesn't know how to play games, even if she tried. Maybe it's from growing up on a farm.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ariel_angel77 said:


> Lol that would bore me too! For me, when I say that I want someone intelligent, I personally mean that I want them to be mature and have the intelligence to abstain from immaturity.


That makes sense. Perhaps that is what most people mean when they mention intelligence. I have no trouble being mature at 46.




VermisciousKnid said:


> To me it means being able to talk about interests in detail and with the ability to make original observations. Also to have opinions that show some thought. You could talk about farming, pottery, doll making, or whatever. I'm curious about lots of stuff and about what other people think. I won't necessarily connect with a particular topic but I can appreciate enough to make a conversation of it.
> 
> I was once on a business trip with a female coworker of my own age who could only talk about The Bachelor and Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire TV shows. It wasn't ironic or perceptive conversation. She just wanted to talk about the minutiae of the show. It was like she was gossiping about her friends. I commented that I had never seen the show and she just kept going. Longest four hour drive of my life! Excruciating!!


I'm not a big conversationalist to begin with, and if I don't know much about a topic, I'm not likely to contribute a lot to the conversation. I guess that's a weakness of mine. 




jorgegene said:


> Every woman and girlfriends I've been with played games.
> Even the good ones.
> 
> 'She love me, she loves me not'
> ...


Oh my, if you've found someone who doesn't play relationship games and doesn't even know how, that sounds like a keeper.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

At some point your baggage better have wheels because I'm not lugging it.


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

Runs like Dog said:


> At some point your baggage better have wheels because I'm not lugging it.


Heh. A lot of women show all their baggage on dating sites... one complained she'd met 11 people so far and was 'jaded'. Another actually told me that 'most men get creepy really fast'. I didn't even bother with the first one, and politely ended the conversation with the second. Every new person you meet deserves the benefit of the doubt, not to have you moaning and complaining from the outset!

A worryingly large number of profiles have huge disclaimers they don't want *********s, bros, or anyone who asks if they're DTF.


----------



## lookinforhelpandhope (Apr 10, 2013)

southbound said:


> As for intelligence, I notice a lot of people mention that when they speak of qualities they want in a person, but I'm not sure exactly what they mean.
> 
> I assume nobody wants someone that makes you feel like you have another child instead of a spouse, but being that people go to the trouble of mentioning intelligence as an attractive feature I assume they want intelligence to stand out and be above and beyond the usual person.
> 
> I hear people talk about having intelligent conversation. I'm not sure what they mean. I have a Master's degree, but if you want tot talk politics and Shakespeare on a date, I'll probably doze off.


I'd say intelligence means the ability to make sense of situations or information and draw a logical, well rounded conclusion. Having an interest in a particular subject, perhaps one that's considered intelectual, isn't the same as intelligence.

The former is attractive, IMO, in both men and women. The latter. Well unless you happen to share an interest in the same topic, it would come across as pretty boring!


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Forgot to add to my original post and the one thing I look for when thinking about a woman who is long term potential is emotional maturity. Omg my GF is the most emotionally mature woman I have ever met and love her for it.


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Someone was telling me in another thread , she's gonna have a career , she'll have a busy life , she'll be this and she'll be that, so she'll want this kind of man.
l thought , are you kidding me , l'm bored outa my brain already, l couldn't give a fk what that women wants.

l love a loose , cool , fun type personality. laid back , knows how to have a good time,warm , feminine , all that stuff.


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

whitehawk said:


> Someone was telling me in another thread , she's gonna have a career , she'll have a busy life , she'll be this and she'll be that, so she'll want this kind of man.


I had all this from a woman I went for dinner with last week. I wondered if she realized that means she doesn't actually have time for a man?


----------



## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Jetranger said:


> I had all this from a woman I went for dinner with last week. I wondered if she realized that means she doesn't actually have time for a man?



How much time does "having a man" really take though? A few hours a couple of times a week for dates? Maybe a day and a night on the weekend? I mean really, we make time for the things and people we enjoy. I can't imagine a woman sitting around doing nothing in particular until a man came along to fill her time would be very interesting.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

COGypsy said:


> How much time does "having a man" really take though? A few hours a couple of times a week for dates? Maybe a day and a night on the weekend? I mean really, we make time for the things and people we enjoy. I can't imagine a woman sitting around doing nothing in particular until a man came along to fill her time would be very interesting.


Agree. I think people make time for what they want to do. When I hear that someone has asked a woman out that seems interested, yet she's so busy that it's tough to schedule a date, she basically isn't putting much priority on it, so she basically doesn't want to go out.

When I was a teen, my friends and I had this understanding that if we had casual plans together, but we later had opportunity to make a date with a girl, it was ok to break plans to go on the date. We didn't break anything big, but casual plans were ok to break, and there were never hard feelings.

I guess that was during a time in our lives when dating seemed fun and the thoughts of a relationship was fun, so, it was a priority. That's why we had that understanding among us. 

When a person acts like they want to go out, but they have other plans all the time, I always let it go.


----------



## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

southbound said:


> Agree. I think people make time for what they want to do. When I hear that someone has asked a woman out that seems interested, yet she's so busy that it's tough to schedule a date, she basically isn't putting much priority on it, so she basically doesn't want to go out.


This is what I mean. They might even approach you (don't tell lovelygirl) and you're having good conversations but when you ask what their schedule is looking like in terms of having an evening free, they have something on almost every night. 

I mean, great, you have a busy and active life, but there either isn't any room there for a man (in which case why are you on a dating site) or you're just not that into me (so is that going to change, or do you just want a penpal or something?) to make time?

My experience is that the one who are interested almost always make time.


----------



## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

I agree with you, Jetranger. I want someone who is able to dedicate more than 10% of their life to me.


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Intelligent - knows what's going on in the world and is curious about how things work

Mature - knows how to act their age and doesn't think acting like a pre-teen is OK

Sexual - enjoys sex and wants it on a regular basis (understanding that there are times when either party isn't in the mood). Once every other year doesn't cut it. 

Secure - someone that's secure with who they are

Active - by this, I mean not lazy. You find time to be active

Classy - don't mean stuffy, but someone that has class and exudes class

I say all of this because I married the opposite, and am regretting it now after a dozen years. Wish I knew then what I know now.....


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ChargingCharlie said:


> Intelligent - knows what's going on in the world and is curious about how things work
> 
> I say all of this because I married the opposite, and am regretting it now after a dozen years. Wish I knew then what I know now.....


What are some examples she does that are the opposite of what you listed for intelligence. I know I could just picture "the opposite," but I'm curious to what extreme.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No nonsense, unless being playful, ass kicking, deadly b!tch.

Adventurous, willing to follow me into an adventure and get me into one herself.

100% Loyal. Generous lover.

Yes. I married her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I want Ariel's 'friend' + richardsharpe's criteria, all in one and the same person. A good cook who enjoys cooking but can let me do so, too, with at least a tolerance for sports -- and an unmistakeable, undeniable, uber-chemistry/connection with me! 
And must adore kids.


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

l love a girl that's just comfortable and at ease in her own skin , at peace. l really love the quality . Nothing to prove , no hard ass chip on her shoulder .


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

southbound said:


> What are some examples she does that are the opposite of what you listed for intelligence. I know I could just picture "the opposite," but I'm curious to what extreme.


Knowing what's going on in the world (asking me what impeaching a president is? Really? Asking me is there a war in the Middle East? Why are they fighting?) 

Having some intellectual curiosity, instead of mindlessly watching TV shows all hours of the night. 

Not necessarily intelligence (more related to maturity), but having a sense of humor more advanced than that of a 12 year old. I prefer wit, she prefers sophomoric humor.

This is a woman with a Master's degree - her level of conversation isn't much advanced beyond high school, which is why we have nothing to talk about, and why I prefer it when she's not around (yes, that means that I have to watch the kids by myself), and work in my home office after the kids go to bed (so I don't have to worry about talking to her).


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> No nonsense, unless being playful, ass kicking, deadly b!tch.
> 
> Adventurous, willing to follow me into an adventure and get me into one herself.
> 
> ...


A big ole ....'awwww'

Lovely to read!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## phoenix_ (Dec 20, 2013)

I think one of the most important traits to me is self confidence. The biggest turn off is when a woman thinks she's being demeaned any time she does something that's considered a "woman's job".


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Empathy

Honesty

Flexibility (not physical....well that too)


----------

