# She's scratching on my door again.



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Just a question for those who have fallen to "temptation".
If the companionship and the physical intimacy was more rewarding for you than that which became so boring and unsatisfactory at home, why should your betrayed spouse expect you to remain faithful should they decide to take you back.
My reason for asking is that my ex has now made a fourth attempt to contact me through one of the few people I let know where I am now residing, asking now for not only a handout, but for me to let her live with me, again.
I understand her plight, but really not interested in having her around again.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Beats living under the bridge? I mean, it's not like she loses anything by trying.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

It's easier for some to go back to what they know? I don't know for myself, tho...if I recall your story correctly, keep her away...


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Mine too is trying her A$$ out to have some contact wth me. Her intentions are same, she want me back. She lost everything, no friends, no family. Now realises what she lost. But I will keep her only a mile away from me. I dont want her any more.

Dont entertain this anymore. Keep her a mile away from you.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

That woman has no shame after what she did to you. Use the ignore button, Hook.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

because they're selfish people who want both if possible. 

When they have no home THEN they realize that that the boring dull marriage they so previously hated is now the only thing important to them.

Keep her away.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

My ex has been doing that recently too. I made the mistake of giving my phone number to one of her friends and apparently we should have dinner next week

errr what?!


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## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

I have been lurking on these boards for a while now and recently made an account. I have seen some of your posts but have never seen your whole story. It is to my understanding that you and your wife were married for 20 years and then you found out that your two kids were not yours? 

Did you ever suspect that your wife had cheated on you? How did you find out after 20 years that the kids were not yours?

She also took you to the cleaners and now she wants a hand out!

My advice is to ignore her. She betrayed you in the worst possible of ways and she did it thrice! Once for your first child, again for your second child, and third for taking you to the cleaners. 

Not to rub salt in your wounds or anything but does it hurt you that she never had any of your children?

I hope you find another woman to love and have children with this time.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Compassion would say give her the handout and let her move back in with you. 

Experience would say no way Jose.

Hookares don't give in to temptation here. You helped me through my tough times since January. Let her go to the church for help. They can set her up in a shelter or a mission. 

And based upon your posts over the months your WS is not worth it. I more times then not lean towards R, but not in your case. 

Hang in there brother.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

hookares said:


> Just a question for those who have fallen to "temptation".
> If the companionship and the physical intimacy was more rewarding for you than that which became so boring and unsatisfactory at home, why should your betrayed spouse expect you to remain faithful should they decide to take you back.
> My reason for asking is that my ex has now made a fourth attempt to contact me through one of the few people I let know where I am now residing, asking now for not only a handout, but for me to let her live with me, again.
> I understand her plight, but really not interested in having her around again.



You have two children that don't have an ounce of your blood. 

She made out like a bandit in the divorce.

Whats there to consider? Keep her FAR AWAY!


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

hookares said:


> Just a question for those who have fallen to "temptation".
> If the companionship and the physical intimacy was more rewarding for you than that which became so boring and unsatisfactory at home, why should your betrayed spouse expect you to remain faithful should they decide to take you back.
> My reason for asking is that my ex has now made a fourth attempt to contact me through one of the few people I let know where I am now residing, asking now for not only a handout, but for me to let her live with me, again.
> I understand her plight, but really not interested in having her around again.



After all of that, she still thinks you are her "back up plan"?

If you are not interested, you are not interested, period. Move forward for yourself. You are no longer responsible for her and/or what she does. Stay strong!


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## Bentley'sMom (Jul 10, 2012)

Some people think so much of themselves, and that they are so loveable that they have the audacity to think their badly treated ex would jump up and down with joy that this amazing person finally wants them back despite their disgusting behaviour.
Also makes you wonder what on earth is wrong with them and their distorted reality!
If my STBXH collapsed in front of me, I'd kick him out the way, he makes me that sick.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

I don't think hookares ever considering taking her back. He just wonders what kind of delusion his ex's in.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

ALL: I think she's been smoking something not good and I don't mean one of her many guys, either.
She probably belongs in an mental institution but the state where all of this took place no longer supports them.
Should I ever wake up to find her in my bed, I'd clean the wax out of my ears with a 9mm hole.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

"Not to rub salt in your wounds or anything but does it hurt you that she never had any of your children?"
No because they would have still been a part of her.
"I hope you find another woman to love and have children with this time."
This scenario is never likely to happen because I would never consider fathering children out of wedlock since I already know how growing up without a father ends, from experience.
I also am now committed to remaining single and make it clear to my lady acquaintances.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> I have been lurking on these boards for a while now and recently made an account. I have seen some of your posts but have never seen your whole story. It is to my understanding that you and your wife were married for 20 years and then you found out that your two kids were not yours?
> 
> Did you ever suspect that your wife had cheated on you? How did you find out after 20 years that the kids were not yours?
> 
> ...



I'm new here too OMG, if that's your story, hook, keep her the hell away. That's AWFUL. What a POS.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I should have also have added, I make a point of never arguing with crazy. Since I'm not a shrink, I don't try to understand it either. Your ex sounds like one of the worst women I've heard of (then again, I haven't been a member here for long so maybe there's worse?). 

I can't believe the audacity!


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

hookares said:


> ALL: I think she's been smoking something not good and I don't mean one of her many guys, either.
> She probably belongs in an mental institution but the state where all of this took place no longer supports them.
> Should I ever wake up to find her in my bed, I'd clean the wax out of my ears with a 9mm hole.


Don't ever think about doing the last part. No ones affair is ever worth killing yourself, drinking, drugging, binge eating over.

No of those will ever replace what ever pain you went through only hide it. And it's not worth going down that path.


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## Torrivien (Aug 26, 2012)

This is unbelievable.
The consensus have been unanimous and I'm siding with them. She must be really blinded by "wanting herself to be happy" to have the guts to be in contact with you again.

It seems that you were on the path of finding peace with what she's done, she has no right to make you feel the pain again. She has no right to ask for reconciliation, forgiveness or talk after all this time.

Even if she just got what she did and that she really wants you back (not get back into a safe harbor), it's too late and sooo little. If she really honestly regret what she has done, she would leave you at peace and never allow herself to be a reminder of the ultimate pain you ever experienced.

What I would like to add is for you to ask the friend to stop getting you her messages. Even if it comes from a good faith, it's not her/his job to play match maker. The decision of how much you want to establish contact (should you want it) between you and your ex should be yours, and only yours.

I admire your strength.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Real life should come with one of those "ignore" functions. Would make real life a lot easier sometimes.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I don't think hookares ever considering taking her back. He just wonders what kind of delusion his ex's in.


HOOK
Do not waste your time on trying to find out what kind of delusion your wife is in. After all you said that she belongs in a mental institute so you will never understand a twisted mind and heart. Resist the temptation to let her treachery be taking up your thoughts. If it is not an action or thought that is helping you improve and get over her betrayal then make a decision to dismiss it all together. Why let her actions rape your emotions anymore?

*Make sure that ALL her ways of contacting you are stopped.
If she can not find your door then she cannot scratch it*

Make yourself use your energy and actions on doing things to make your world better. If you do it right in a year or two this crisis will be like having the flu for a year. You can choose to be BITTER or BETTER. Choose BETTER!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What is her current situation?(financially?)


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## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

Two things I don't understand hookares:

1.) Why did she after all these years finally want a divorce? Is it because she wanted you to take care of the kids till they turned 18? Did she fall so deeply in love with a new man that she could not stand to be with you anymore? 

Why did she finally decide to tell you that the kids were not yours when filing for divorce? Did she truly know ALL ALONG THOSE KIDS WERE NOT YOURS? I just don't get the level of cruelty.

2.) Despite all her actions,* you did raise these children as your own for the past two decades. * * So why did you decide to cut all ties with them after the discovery of their parentage? *

I am not blaming you for this action but I am just curious as to why you went this route. They made no mistakes and after all these years, I figured it can't hurt to continue to keep in touch with them. No need to dole out financial resources because quite frankly they do not further your genetic legacy. 

I think you have always avoided this question and I feel like it needs to be answered.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> I think you have always avoided this question and I feel like it needs to be answered.


And *you *feel this way because?


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Squelch


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## giashasa2012 (Aug 16, 2012)

She is a scorpion that's her nature don't be the frog


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

TroubledSexLife said:


> I think you have always avoided this question and I feel like it needs to be answered.


Sometimes to get rid of the cancer you gotta cut off some of the good tissue. And he doesn't HAVE to answer you, he can if he wants.

Some men can get past it and keep in contact with the kids, blood or not. Other men cannot.

Women don't have this problem, the kid pops out of them so the husband can't say years later, HA, SUCKER not your kid!!!


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