# Husband cell pics him having sex with many other girl



## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Married six yrs two beautiful kids......found text message scheduling to meet for sex with a mutual good friend and our sitter! Both went on the defense blamed me that I was crazy and it was an inside joke.....there was nothing funny about it! Friend has since vanished from my life....wonder why. Fast forward about a week ..... He was on his phone I took it (its always locked) so I had to take it while he was in it already.....told him if you have nothing to hide there is no reason you shouldn't let me look thru it for peace of mind two minutes into looking with him watching I was about to go into a chat app....he grabbed from me we literally struggled over it and I smashed it to the floor......psycho I know but I had my reason.....he yelled blah blah blah...left broken phone on kitchen counter....I removed his SD SIM card.......note to non computer savvy people.....YES deleted photos and texts CAN be recovered! And so I did a data recovery of his deleted info to my laptop.......expecting to find more texts......instead shock of a life time.....self taken pics of Multiple different woman giving him blow jobs and sticking it inside them one he was with two girls and one took a pic of him doing the other girl bent over the same couch girl one just sucked his penis on...kneeling non the less on his softball pants I'm sure he had asked me to make sure they were clean for his game! No condoms either! Just received my blood and urine to be tested for everything under the sun and thank GOD they are all negative! HIV needs a recheck in 6mo to be in the clear completely but first is negative.........I've lost 20ponds and finally after 5 weeks been able to eat solid food without puking....thank goodness soup and ensure was getting old! 

I have NOT confronted him yet. Trying to be strong for my toddlers and get thru Christmas and my sons third bday this month also.....however he knows something up.
I was cleaning the kitchen floor when he came downstairs and whipped it out while I was picking up crumbs.....I just looked at him and snapped "if I do will you take a picture?" He said what why?
I just walked away that was 8am he went straight to the couch and layer there until 430pm........not a word. Then got up went upstairs and cleaned all three bedrooms...complete with moving furniture beds etc to vacuum......this is unheard of he never cleans anything! I guess guilt.....however my mothers first thought was...he's looking for something bc he has no idea how you know! Hmmmmmmmm
The dr gave me Zoloft and Xanax to calm down to get through until I confront him and I scheduled a therapist /psychologist for this week to help process and learn the best way to confront him to make it to my advantage.....I mean its not "are you cheating" it's I have all the freaking pictures you pig!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else have ideas to cope for the kids sake!?
Anyone ever find this kind of proof?
Help and suggestions welcome......five weeks of processing and I can't cry there's nothing left inside.....it's like I'm just comfortably numb......


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## ihatefacebook (Dec 4, 2012)

I don't have the experience or expertise to offer any advice, but I do have a question: I realize you have two beautiful kids together, but why haven't you already started divorce proceedings??? I just can't imagine it being good for the kids that you look and feel this way. You, and they, would be much better off if you left him.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Crushed79 said:


> Anyone else have ideas to cope for the kids sake!?
> Anyone ever find this kind of proof?
> Help and suggestions welcome......five weeks of processing and I can't cry there's nothing left inside.....it's like I'm just comfortably numb......


You need to decide what you want. Do you want to divorce, or do you want to reconcile? I recommend you file for divorce. Even if you want to reconcile. Immediately forgiving him, or forgiving him after a minimal amount of work will only encourage him to cheat again in the future. If you file for divorce and keep the option of reconciling an unlikely possibility, he won't feel like he got away with it. You can usually end the divorce proceedings if he convinces you that he has repented.

Also, run the 180. It's to help you emotionally distance yourself so that you are better prepared to end the relationship.
The Healing Heart: The 180

Good luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sorry to hear you are living through this horror.

Make sure you backup all the incriminating data ofsite, meaning someplace other than your computer.

If you know who those women are, send the photos to their husbands/SO's right after you confront him. do not tell him that you plan do to this.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

You sure have enough to confront. I would not wait. Go see an attorney. You are not helping your children in your present state. Even extremely young children know when something is wrong, even if they can't understand what that is.
If you really care about the children, confront, tell H of course he can see the children on xmas, but he needs to leave. How do you know he is not having additional hookups? This is no way to live.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I know the holidays are coming up but you cannot sit on this type of info and wait it out.

I found pictures of my wife nude and a video of her taking a shower. It was heal to deal with. I am so sorry you are going through this crap.

Confront him know and expose this to the family. If any of these girls are known to you confront them and their whatevers they have.

The stuff going through your head is hard to erase. Did you get checked for STD's? 

Stay tough for the kids but deal with it know


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Yes all my tests came back clear today for all stds.....I am a stay at home mom and have no one to watch them until my mil returns from vacation this week then I will be contacting a lawyer. My issue is I cannot afford the house and bills on my own about 5k not including regular living expenses. All my family lives in fl I moved here to be with him....I have no help here so yes I need and will be seeing a lawyer I need to see if I can take my babies to fl or if I would get enough to stay here.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Ele girl ..... I did the sim a cd copy of the recovery as well as printed texts and a screen shot of his plenty of fish website as well are all safely in Florida with my mom should he find and destroy anything here


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Oh I'm OUT there is no reconciling this crap it wasn't a one time thing he could possibly say he made a mistake.....it's multiple hook ups from hook up websites all nasty looking girls in their homes.....no way I'm done. I don't tolerate that......it's nauseating........just looking to see about others who had this happen  I'm strong I'm done I'm out my mom just booked a flight to come up and care for the kids so I can find a good attorney and get things going


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## momma2four (Aug 9, 2012)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I sent you a PM. I was wondering how you got info off his SD SIM card. Was it an iPhone?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

SD card readers are cheap and easy to buy online

iphones don't have them


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

momma2four no it was an android...iphones do not have a sim card BUT you can recover his deleted info however you would need access to his phone as you would have to actually plug his phone to your computer using the usb cord that came with his phone, tricky but possible...search how to retrieve deleted pictures from iphone.....ehow.com has a really good tutorial and information on it...........
just prepare yourself for what may (or hopefully may not) be there.......I was just looking for text messages between him and our mutual good friend who I would never in a million years suspected!!!! what I found were the completely unexpected pictures....and they are pretty damn raunchy


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Good for you for being tenacious and finding the information. I believe (but an attorney could quickly confirm) that you can boot him out and he has to pay the bills in the interim until your divorce is settled. 

I know if I were to find that, I could not stomach looking at him every day.


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## momma2four (Aug 9, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> momma2four no it was an android...iphones do not have a sim card BUT you can recover his deleted info however you would need access to his phone as you would have to actually plug his phone to your computer using the usb cord that came with his phone, tricky but possible...search how to retrieve deleted pictures from iphone.....ehow.com has a really good tutorial and information on it...........
> just prepare yourself for what may (or hopefully may not) be there.......I was just looking for text messages between him and our mutual good friend who I would never in a million years suspected!!!! what I found were the completely unexpected pictures....and they are pretty damn raunchy


Thanks for your reply. I have access to his iPhone (no password). He received a text message from his friend about a month ago with a pictures attached. He was out of town when he received the text w/pic. He deleted the text before he got home and I want to know if there is a way to recover that text w/picture. I am sure he has since sync'd his phone to his computer is it gone? I can't get on his computer at all, it's his work laptop.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

tcsredhead.......I cant stomach him but fortunately the same job hours etc that allowed him to be out all day and at anygiven time of night with hundreds of unknown numbers to his business cell phone making what he was doing easy and unquestionable....also THANKFULLY keeps me from having to see much of him.....we only see him on sundays and the other 6 days hes out the door by 8-9am and not home until at least 10 11 midnight 3am whenever. if im not asleep I pretend to be!!!! I just need to find a GOOD lawyer and I don't know where to start, anyone know of any attorney website with the rating and credentials or something? I cant seem to find much


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I really don't know - my divorce was a quickie since there was no one contesting it. Do you have any friends/family in the area that have gone through a recent divorce or had any legal help? 

Sometimes, you can get a divorce attorney referral from a general attorney that you trust, too.

Ugh - I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have to give you credit for not falling apart and keeping focused on what you need to do.


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## momma2four (Aug 9, 2012)

I found this site. It might help.

Lawyer Referral Directory - ABA


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

momma2four.....im not sure =( IF you can get in his phone android has an app called sms tracker it shows up in the backround his phone as "health system" so it doesn't look suspicious....but again you need his phone to install the app then you can monitor from YOUR computer his texts emails pics web searches and even location if his gps in enabled......search keylogger as well if you can get onto his computer ......you buy it and it emails you a link to your email to download the program ....if you can get on his work laptop open your email and download the program to his computer.....its really for like tracking your kids activities etc but yeah works this way too.....you then set up an account on your computer which allows you to view what hes doing on his captures messages websites chats passwords etc..... you can either view it in real time or just pull reports for the day week whatever.....hope that helps.......A SCORNED WOMAN IS BETTER THAN THE FBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

tcsredhead thanks no sadly they own a business here for 60 years and everyone I mean everyone knows who they are im not sure who to trust to ask!!! my family is all in florida like an idiot in love I moved up here for him since his business was here......going to try and look a few cities away maybe even into NY only 20-30 min ride from where I am


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## momma2four (Aug 9, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> momma2four.....im not sure =( IF you can get in his phone android has an app called sms tracker it shows up in the backround his phone as "health system" so it doesn't look suspicious....but again you need his phone to install the app then you can monitor from YOUR computer his texts emails pics web searches and even location if his gps in enabled......search keylogger as well if you can get onto his computer ......you buy it and it emails you a link to your email to download the program ....if you can get on his work laptop open your email and download the program to his computer.....its really for like tracking your kids activities etc but yeah works this way too.....you then set up an account on your computer which allows you to view what hes doing on his captures messages websites chats passwords etc..... you can either view it in real time or just pull reports for the day week whatever.....hope that helps.......A SCORNED WOMAN IS BETTER THAN THE FBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Thx again. I guess it's kinda past the point for me anyway. I was in a holding pattern in our divorce proceedings, but my husband has not done anything on my list (i.e. get IC and full financial disclosure). Just a gut feeling that things are still going on underground. I called my lawyer this morning to continue with the divorce and our court date is next week. Your strength has assured me I am doing the right thing. I wish I would have done this a year ago.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Crushed, before you make ANY judgements about what you will and won't be able to do. Talk to an attorney.

Here are things working FOR you
1. You're a SAHM. Your Husband will be responsible to maintaining the home and you during the divorce and also puts him on the line for a lot more after the divorce.
2. I'm not 100% sure I caught this but your Husband's family owns a business? Does he have ANY stake in it? If he does, then you do too. HUGE BARGAINING chip with His family. Noone wants the scorned exwife having a say in the family business LOL.
3. You have young children who need stay at home care. You being forced to go back to work means a lower quality of care for your kids. Refer back to number 1.
4. Your husband took cheating to a new level. Even if you're in a no fault state, judges can still be swayed by situations. Your attorney, if it's a good one, will still work this angle.

On the negative.
I think you said your marriage is 5 years. Most states look at 7 to 10 years as a "long term marriage". It usually equates to a larger settlement for the lower earner.

If you happen to be in CT. PM me. I can give you some good attorneys.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

You are a smart woman, you remind me of myself, and the lengths I will go to retrieve information. I too take Xanax, and have been on a lot of other meds to try and tame my mind. It sucks to know, but like a bad car crash, we can't stop looking. On top of it, I know there has to be more other than what we have found evidence of. There's always more. Don't worry, the numbness is a relief compared to the other physical ailments experienced. Try and sit back, and slowly plot your revenge, whatever you deem fit. If it's a divorce, you're in an excellent position to prove him as the cheater, with all the evidence you have. You should look into the divorce grounds in your state.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Crushed.. you are wise to make plans before you tell him what you know.

Some things you can do to protect yourself before hand..

Make copies of all financial paperwork. If the two of you do a lot of paperless stuff with banks, etc... make sure you go to the site and download PDF files of every statment you can get. Is especially important for bank records, credit cards, investments, etc.

IF you do not already have bank accounts in your name only, open them up and have mail to to a diff address.. maybe a PO box.

Store any valuables that he could carry out and cash out to a safe place. I used a small, indoor, very secure storage unit (5x5 was big enough for papers, jewelry, collectables, some, art.. 

I also got copies of every key he had. Also searched his car several times while he was in the shower adn found all kinds of things he was hiding in there.

If you can find any paperwork on the family business, get it. If he has a seperate checking/savings accounts try to get the statements, check copies, etc from those.

I did this and found years of cancelled checks for my husband paying the mortgages for his father and his mother (two diff houses since they were divorced). I also found papers showsing that he owned 50% of his mother's house. And he was transferring my money (from my pay) to accounts in his mother's name.

I'm pretty good at forensic accounting. I was able to take all of this to court. IN the end he had to settle with me taking into consideration all the money she shifted over to his parents.

And I let him keep what was my legal portion of his mother's house in exchange for a bigger share of our home. Actually I got the home because I was able to show his misuse of marital assets.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> Crushed.. you are wise to make plans before you tell him what you know.
> 
> Some things you can do to protect yourself before hand..
> 
> ...



You got me all hot & bothered with your pure epicness! I'm swooning!

lmao. 

well fuxing played!


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Thanks everyone for all your words and advice......im actually remarkably calm somehow...i have two wonderful kids that keep me going and smiling while i gather what i need and stick it to him! While im infurated he could do something so nasty to me and thus the kids im "ok" with it...im me beautiful smart strong and amazing mother....ive always sparkled and shined and i will continue....that hasnt changed and he will not take it away from me.....the me who used to walk around in sweats and no makeup has vanished.....the pre married and kids me....the sexy size 4 body hugging jeans and new gorgeous blonde highlights has re emerged......im back and better than ever......its all about me and my babies...and regardless the outcome we will be more than fine we will be fab!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

I don't get why you need to confront him and get more proof?

You've got multiple pictures of him having sex with different women, what more do you need to file for divorce?

Confronting him will get you nowhere just file for divorce and he'll have to pay for the house you live in now and all the expenses, he'll be the one living on his parents couch or in a cheap motel as a result of his infidelity.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Oddly after two weeks of puking just thinking abput it i can honestly say i can look at the pictures with absolutely zero emotion or reaction....what used to make me shake cry and puke now just makes say you ****ing pig.....i KNOW i didnt do anything to deserve this .....my self esteem is all intact never lost that.....i used to care to ask him WHY i dont even care why anymore...its done that cant be changed so wtf difference would it really make......time walk away and count my blessing all my std test came back negative..thank u jesus for that. I might of ran him over if it didnt 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Lol kindi yes i know  little more complicated....digging for family business papers statements etc so we he gets served he cant hide any of the $ and i know hes buying me a new suv for christmas....so **** it let him buy it one more thing for me to take with me.... i have many reasons for waiting a bit....the lawyer however i will be meeting next week but he wont know until after i get all need and want
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

you deserve better.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

cabin fever said:


> you deserve better.


I completely agree and i will !!! Just in shock of this entire double life i have been so oblivious to!!!!!! Further internet history revelead crap like porno (i have no issue w a little porn) but his sites were like 18&abused babysitter bondage....crap like that...i dont even know who this person is! Oh well lesson learned moving on
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

The puking...boy did I hate the puking. The first couple a weeks I would barf after I ate like clockwork. Lucky for me I too had my two little babies to help me get thru it. My STBXW can kiss my a$$.
I hope she's happy seeing them every other weekend.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Evil thought...

photoshop a couple of pics ur yourself being ravaged & pleasured by multiple dudes with 'horse sized' junk, put them on his phone in the same folder with his personal collection and just wait.... 



Sorry, my mind is bad. lol.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Omg lol its horrible hes making me out as som crazy person to his employees friends etc.......just picked our girl up from preschool and she told me my husband told her husband (&cousin) im obviously insane bc now im on meds (as of monday zoloft and xanax) when i had my std testing ......is it "normal" for the guilty party to make himself look better and me the koko one? My irrational side wants to make 8 x 10 and post them sverywhere!!!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

I think after hearing he is telling ppl im on meds now (i take dayquil at night for Gods sake so im sure i can wake for our kids) im about to burst confront him and say dont come home hes at qork kids with me.....what to do compose myself or let him have it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

He's trying to paint you as the crazy unstable wife who forced him to cheat. If you have the info you need (financials), I'd expose him to everyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

The only way I would confront him over this is with a divorce petition. You have visual proof that he cheated, not once but multiple times, so unless you're willing to forgive him for this, I don't see what there is to talk about.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I am so sorry this happened. Your husband is a serial cheater and always will be. My ex husband slept with many women before and during our marriage. This was before cell phones and Internet. Yes, it happened to me, but I left the day I found out. Once I had suspicions, the sex stopped! We were using condoms anyways due to preventing another pregnancy. The condoms quickly disappeared often and not from us. I was not emotionally connected which made it easy to leave. My ex h disgusted me. I filed for divorce and I met a wonderful man that I fully trust.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> ....what to do compose myself or let him have it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why not compose yourself AND let him have it?

Stay very calm and in control outwardly and tell him what you know and that you are filing for divorce. (A new SUV wouldn't be worth my sanity.)


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

A new suv is NOT worth my sanity......but my thirteen year old breaking downdown one all the time isnt safe for the kids eithereither
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hotsthrnmess (Dec 5, 2012)

Wow, Crushed, you are so strong! What your husband is doing to you is totally wrong, and he needs to see that. Stay calm and whenever you confront him, don't let him see you upset/angry (no matter how much you are) and let him know the deal! Good luck, ma'am


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> I think after hearing he is telling ppl im on meds now (i take dayquil at night for Gods sake so im sure i can wake for our kids) im about to burst confront him and say dont come home hes at qork kids with me.....what to do compose myself or let him have it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


When you tell the other people in your life who need to know what is really going on--you need to be very calm. Do not exaggerate. You don't need to call the women in the photos wh0res, etc. Just use very bland language.

The truth is, that:

"I found many pictures on my H's cell showing him performing graphic sexual acts with many different women,"

is no different than:

"I found billions of pictures on my cheating lying SOB of a H's cell showing him doing the nasty 50 different ways from Sunday with every wh0re and slvt who ever crossed his path,"


except that in the first, people will feel TONS of sympathy for you, and in the second, they will say, 'gosh, H said she was hitting the hard stuff. He might have done something wrong, but she's gone round the bend'

The very best way to get sympathy from everyone is to show CONTROL--you can scream and cry in private away from everyone else. If you need to vent, book an individual counselor and unload all your feelings there.

Right now you need all these other people in your corner. You need them to support you. BE OBJECTIVE and do not use perjorative terms in describing the situation. It will take you all the way and you will achieve your same goal (telling the truth) and get all the support that you need.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Ok im ready to compose and confront now......will share the outcome later
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> Ok im ready to compose and confront now......will share the outcome later
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Stay strong. Good luck!


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> Stay strong. Good luck!


Thankyou....i am its a "good" day today im feeling strong stable and confident.......and for the first time in five weeks he acknowledged im not happy and opened the "door" to beginning the conversatio. With a text saying "what can i do to make you happier, your not happy" i havent responded however it will be my opening line later when i see him!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm totally impressed with how you're handling this. iheartlife gave some great advice, stay calm and collected as much as possible.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> Ok im ready to compose and confront now......will share the outcome later
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why not gather the whole family... His parents and siblings on one side of the table you and your lawyer on the other side with printed photos or ppt slide show. Bring his whole family in. See what they have to say for their darling son/brother


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I would definitely suggest that he stop making you out to be the unstable one if he doesn't want his pics to be known far and wide.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Why i am not surprised i just got screamed at ......denied denied a.d denied they were him or that they came off his phone bc he claimes it didnt even have a sim.......mine u phone in question was preordered brand new for him straight out of box just two weeks before i smashed it ....granted sprint backed up his infor contacts etc at the store .....deny and yell thats what i got
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Make this about a business/financial proposal. You are done emotionally and you need to find out what the settlement will be. After the quick presentation, allow them time to contact their lawyer. This has to be all about the business at this point.

Be careful escaping to another state with the kids after you confront him. If his family has influence you could be up on kidnapping charges. I do admire you tenacity and determination. I wish you and your kids the best.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

How is it humanly possible a brand new phone brandnew sim could have someone elses **** kn it....he claims hes being set up...that i dont have his sim card which id never show him bc hed destroy it. And if anything its porn pics....it aint no porn
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wouldnt it be evident that he is in the pictures? (I assume you know his penis well)

he's trying to gaslight the crap outta you is more likely


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I mean after all he struggled mightily to get that phone away from you which is why it was smashed in the first place

Guilty verdict to any sane person


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

as much as it may pain you to look, I'd look thru and try to ID a mole, tat, scar or clothing item or stuff in the background that ID's the place


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

What a complete POS he is. No further conversations, nothing. Have him leave and talk to him via the attorney. Document his foul behavior and if he becomes violent, do not hesitate to file a restraining order.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> How is it humanly possible a brand new phone brandnew sim could have someone elses **** kn it....he claims hes being set up...that i dont have his sim card which id never show him bc hed destroy it. And if anything its porn pics....it aint no porn
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Even if it were a refurbished model, they used a new SIM card... As AR indicated he is trying to gaslight you. Get an attorney now.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

You are very unlikely to get an admission of any kind, or true remorse at this point. It took six months of separation before my STBXH sort of admitted what he did, and then all I got was "I made a mistake." He made it sound like he tripped on a rug and landed on the OW-whoops! None of that changed what I knew, or how I felt. Stay strong.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

He is Gaslighting (capital G). Try not to let his screaming protests make you defensive. His excuses are pathetic. They really are.

He may be lying to you, but inside he knows he's caught & will probably now get really nasty. I agree with everyone here that you have to remain calm and above all protect yourself.

Don't follow him around to talk to him. Let him simmer with it & see what he comes back to you with. He will try to paint you as the one who's gone off the rails, but you have all the evidence. Never, ever let him gaslight you into thinking that you don't.

You said earlier that you were seeing an attorney. I hope you are doing that asap.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

He told me to call sprint (who ironicallyhas done business w them for 40 yrs and the guy is a convited child predator a.d would totally lie im sure) i mean ive broken phones and he just gives me new ones for free......said "call him i didnt have a sim in my brandnew galaxy 3 so he put one he had in for me and must of forgotten to erase it" yeah ok
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

let me guess, he said this AFTER he was away to call the guy or something


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> He told me to call sprint (who ironicallyhas done business w them for 40 yrs and the guy is a convited child predator a.d would totally lie im sure) i mean ive broken phones and he just gives me new ones for free......said "call him i didnt have a sim in my brandnew galaxy 3 so he put one he had in for me and must of forgotten to erase it" yeah ok
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Get a lawyer involved and tell him your lawyer will be contacting Sprint. My SIL works for a cell company, and what he is saying violates federal law. He is full of crap. 

Now the boring stuff (but see the bold part). What he is suggesting violates copyright act potentially across state lines. That is a Federal offense. 

One of the two United States GSM carriers, T-Mobile,[51] will unlock handsets for those with active account in good standing for at least 40 days and no unlock code request in the last 90 days. The other, AT&T Mobility, is required to do so upon request (with some exceptions and requirements after ninety days of active service) under the terms of a class action settlement negotiated by Scott A Bursor's class action law firm.[52] Prior to the settlement, AT&T would [53] usually do so once one has concluded his or her contract, and in some other situations. AT&T had in the past stated that it would not unlock iPhones under any circumstances, regardless of the legality of doing so, even after customers are out of contract.[54] However, AT&T has since announced that starting April 8, 2012, it will begin unlocking off-contract iPhones, provided that the customer's account be in good standing.[55] AT&T also has an unannounced policy of unlocking iPhones for United States service members who are deployed overseas—even if they are still under contract.[56]
Before carriers began voluntarily providing unlock codes for all phone models, in 2010 the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) successfully convinced the U.S. Copyright Office to allow an exemption to the general prohibition on circumvention of *copyright protection systems under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act for unlocking of phones through user self-help* (sometimes referred to as "hacking").[57] This exemption has become less important now that most carriers are voluntarily providing unlock codes.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Ohhh haha yeah of course this was after he said he was going to talk to aprint his buddy to find out why those pics are on there......but it didnt only recover those pics it recovered ones i know he took as well his trucks etc
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

he's more busted than Dolly Parton


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> Ohhh haha yeah of course this was after he said he was going to talk to aprint his buddy to find out why those pics are on there......but it didnt only recover those pics it recovered ones i know he took as well his trucks etc
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Time to put together the powerpoint evidence presentation for the family (be sure the head of the family business is there). Tell them at this point to bring their lawyer and accountant. Just be sure to bring your own lawyer. Again, enough with any further discussion with him.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Drerio is right - no further conversation with this fraud. He's never going to admit to it. I would forward copies with the summary (like you had in your initial post but cleaned up a bit like iheartlife's suggestion) to his family. Keep it calm and to the point. 

Serve him with divorce papers and a request to leave the house. 

I guess the one thing working in your favor is that he was stupid enough to leave all that crap on there for you to find. I believe (but am not certain) that it would have also captured the date the files were created so that would help if you need for legal reasons. 

This is all information you need to make sure your attorney has as well as it will help set the terms for visitation and such. I'd have some concerns about what crap he'd expose them to during visits.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Wow Crushed, I'm away from this thread for a little bit and BAM!!

Your husband is in this mode where, regardless of the level of proof you have, he's going to deny it. He will change stories midstream, if you throw a new detail out. It's a self preservation tactic for people who aren't "honest" people. He's a liar and always has been. He's lied to get out of trouble his whole life and it's always worked. He's trying it now. He's the classic narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. Hence why he'd lie about you to other people.

Have you decided which direction you're going to go in regards to a lawyer? PM me if you don't want to say it here.


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## Heartbrkn (Jun 16, 2011)

Crushed79 said:


> Ohhh haha yeah of course this was after he said he was going to talk to aprint his buddy to find out why those pics are on there......but it didnt only recover those pics it recovered ones i know he took as well his trucks etc
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


don't expect logic or even coherent conversation. The caught betrayer is like an animal in a trap.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say his penis isnt that big and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say his penis isnt that big and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


HAHAHA, If cheaters only realized it's a lot less work to keep a good marriage going than the amount of work it takes to lie and cover up.....But hey, can't ask for relationship intelligence from everyone.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> How is it humanly possible a brand new phone brandnew sim could have someone elses **** kn it....he claims hes being set up...that i dont have his sim card which id never show him bc hed destroy it. And if anything its porn pics....it aint no porn
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


His reaction is classic

There are quite a few forum members who caught their spouse with hard-core evidence, and all they got for their trouble was more stone-walling

Some were even accused of doctoring the evidence--Affaircare's ex said she had messed with a hotel security videotape 

When they start to do that, it's entirely pointless. The evidence is for you and be glad you have it, if you have copies, store it in a safe place OUT OF THE HOUSE and be done with the arguing.

Stop listening to his lies.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say his penis isnt that big and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Simple advice... he calls you or your mother again. Hang up. At this point you need say the least you can. If he intends on leaving messages on your phone, save them but don't take them seriously. The more he says, the more he is digging a hole. The less you say, ultimately it will both scare him and make for a better case against him when you settle on the financials.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Crushed79 said:


> He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say his penis isnt that big and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



and there you have it...

I hope you are lawyered up soon


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Google gaslighting, print a few, the most eye opening entries. Tell him his excuses are pathetic, he is nad give him the papers.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Hes emailed me four times already with all sorts of reasons its not him. Of course im not responding
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

He's in a death spiral now.

I actually think that people like him do their BS's a favor by becoming so completely ridiculous in their lies. They can turn your love to incredulity and then to indifference so fast it can make your head spin. And then it's not so hard to call the lawyer.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

anxiously awaiting the crocodile tear phase


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

One poster recommended this site, I have no idea how good it is but I bookmarked it.

Lawyer & Attorney Ratings : Find Rated Lawyers & Attorneys at Super Lawyers


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Crushed79 said:


> He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say his penis isnt that big and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow


Good grief Crushed.. .that's not him... someone framed him and photo shopped his scar onto that porn guy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Crushed79 said:


> He even called with his side to my mother lol and went so far as to say * his penis isnt that big *and of course my std test came back clean bc he didnt do it....cant wait to show the one (head cut out) that shows his scar on his elbow


Now that's funny.. he's bragging about his 'big penis' but doing it in a way that is supposed to prove his innocence? :rofl:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you know how to use powerpoint or a photo editor....

take a copy of each photo and put red circles around identifying things like the scar on his elbow. 

Tell him that if he continues to tell people that you are going nuts that you will distribute the entire packet of photos with identifying features marked.

Me? I'd do it in a heart beat. He's the one who is making a fool of himself.

Didn't you also say that you found incriminating texts or emails?


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

With a person employing gaslighting methods, It's *critical* that you get a voice activated recorder (if you have a smart phone, they almost always have a voice recording feature) and keep it on you at all times to document everything being said. If you can get him to communicate via text, email, etc.. so that you have documentation of the claims/communication, thats ideal.

Sounds like your not buying it, but Gaslighting is serious stuff.

Read the link below...

Some information on gaslighting abuse


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I think he's panicking now. Is there any way you can be the first to dial it back? Perhaps send an e-mail/text that says something like:

"I'd like to handle this like adults. You must know that I will never believe these pictures are not of you. I have them backed up in several safe places, but have no real desire to advertise them to the world. If you will agree to admit what you've done, I will agree to not gratuitously spread the word. We can start the divorce proceedings and spend our time trying to do the right thing for our children."

Any chance that he will man up?


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> I think he's panicking now. Is there any way you can be the first to dial it back? Perhaps send an e-mail/text that says something like:
> 
> "I'd like to handle this like adults. You must know that I will never believe these pictures are not of you. I have them backed up in several safe places, but have no real desire to advertise them to the world. If you will agree to admit what you've done, I will agree to not gratuitously spread the word. We can start the divorce proceedings and spend our time trying to do the right thing for our children."
> 
> Any chance that he will man up?



The problem is, he's told a number of people that she is on medication, i.e., that she's crazy. I wouldn't negotiate anything that involved keeping any of it a secret.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> Hes emailed me four times already with all sorts of reasons its not him. Of course im not responding
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


good don't respond but don't delete the emails. And, certainly don't believe a word.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

Lmao....and hes not bragging its big hes saying its too big to be his small one lol im sorry toto be graphic all bj pics they have one hand around it covers all but head....closed your hand....its his lil one 
Ohhhh i havent seen him yet this was all via email...its documented and WILL be recorded if face to face occurs trust me.
Sad part is he is coming up with every excuse. He even said look at the girls they are young (sprint man did time for underage sex) they are his pics.......these girls are not under 18 & all locations are different hoes backgrounds.....im just sitting back and letting him suffer in his own head now.....picking up my preschooler soon ordering pizza and movie opening a bottle of wine and enjoying friday evening with whats most important to me...my babies
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

I do i have it allall in many places on my ipad....my cell aa laptop he knows i have. But doesnt know i can use bc i bought verzion 4g jet pack and keep it hidden and turned off unless i need itit...a laptop i bought and hid as well as sent all emails pics papers safely to fl with my mommy.....only thing i have no duplicate of is the sim itself.....and never in a million years would he figure where that it 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

What are the dates on the image files?
There's your answer.


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

DevistatedDad said:


> What are the dates on the image files?
> There's your answer.


Yes i know sadly my recovery didnt pull anything up i went to staples best buy and geek squad they all said cameras pull it up but cell cameras wont alway recover that on deleted data.....i was bluffin when i tild him i had pics dates times and even a few locations when his gps was on.....thats the ONE angle he hasnt worked or asked yet
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Crushed79 (Dec 5, 2012)

I have pics...just not dates time gps
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed,

I think as others have stated, now that the cat is out of the bag, you need to be the sane one. Leave him in the dark wondering. And, any further communication needs to be as sterile and business like as possible. If he tries to bait you into any conversation about more denial or maybe if he suddenly starts saying it was a mistake or it was only once or yada yada yada... in other words trying to get a visceral reaction out of you, tell him that is a discussion we will have with the attorneys present and not now.


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

Crushed79 said:


> I do i have it allall in many places on my ipad....my cell aa laptop he knows i have. But doesnt know i can use bc i bought verzion 4g jet pack and keep it hidden and turned off unless i need itit...a laptop i bought and hid as well as sent all emails pics papers safely to fl with my mommy.....only thing i have no duplicate of is the sim itself.....and never in a million years would he figure where that it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are pretty formidable!

In the remote possibility that you and I are ever in a relationship, remind me NEVER to mess with you! Scary!

Well done.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Crushed 

Let me add this... this is an emotional experience and I am not about to minimize and assume you are a robot. So if you need to have a visceral reaction do it here... vent on your thread. We will listen to you. Get it out here leave it "on the TAM floor". Doing so will allow you to keep your laser focus on what is important right now in your life. Take Care.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Crushed79 said:


> Lmao....and hes not bragging its big hes saying its too big to be his small one lol im sorry toto be graphic all bj pics they have one hand around it covers all but head....closed your hand....its his lil one
> Ohhhh i havent seen him yet this was all via email...its documented and WILL be recorded if face to face occurs trust me.
> Sad part is he is coming up with every excuse. He even said look at the girls they are young (sprint man did time for underage sex) they are his pics.......these girls are not under 18 & all locations are different hoes backgrounds.....im just sitting back and letting him suffer in his own head now.....picking up my preschooler soon ordering pizza and movie opening a bottle of wine and enjoying friday evening with whats most important to me...my babies
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



It is very likely that he is lying. he also has a history of lying and cheating. But since you know his body and his trucks, make sure that it is him beyond doubt.

Also go to these sites

Jeffrey's Exif viewer

or 

EXIF Data Viewer


Most pictures taken these days(smart phones or digital cameras) contain exif data.

Upload the photos and see the exif data for the pictures. (Ask if you are not sure how to use it) Sometimes exif data of the picture contains the GPS location of the location where it was taken and the date and time the picture was taken.

Try it


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Wazza said:


> You are pretty formidable!
> 
> In the remote possibility that you and I are ever in a relationship, remind me NEVER to mess with you! Scary!
> 
> Well done.


Seriously. This is a woman who struggled with her H to get his phone, smashed it to the floor, had the presence of mind to retrieve the SIM card without him knowing it, and now has all the goods on him. Talk about strong.


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

Hope all goes well with you. I admire your fortitude.


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## sheer (Dec 9, 2012)

God if you have issues- DIVORCE HIM


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Disregard sheer. You are doing great!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## theredwildflower (Dec 10, 2012)

i can't imagine what you must be going through.

do you know why he is doing what he is doing?

he is your husband and once a upon a time you loved each other. it's really deciding what do you want and is this the sort of person you can trust in the future provided you are able to sit down and discuss what went wrong along the way.


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