# Girlfriend tells my Husband I am HOT- I may be interested



## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

Sorry, I had to delete this.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think this is a really bad idea. And I say this as someone who has gone to sex clubs and swung with my SO. 

Never poop where you eat. The mess you make could haunt you for a long long time. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

My husband and i have been in your situation and though its exciting and a turn on to "fantasize " about such risque , naughty scenarios ...... reality and fantasy are often two entirely different things. 

Also it seems as if you and he are blessed to have many friends so you need to ask yourself is it worth the risk of losing these friends to make your fantasy a reality hmm ??

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

This is a VERY VERY bad idea and the outcome will not be good for all parties involved. Your best bet is to keep it a fantasy and move on :nono:


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Fantasy only. This is not for the faint of heart. I suppose if two people truly understand themselves than it might be OK but if this is not a road that either of you have been down before who knows where it will lead.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Bad. Idea. Period.

Your circle of friends WILL find out. Your kids might find out. Is this the price you are willing to pay for a fantasy?!

Buy some porn instead where couples are swinging. Then the two of you act out the fantasy in the privacy of your bedroom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

been in that position and I can tell you at the end of it all you will be VERY happy you said no. Keep it a fantasy with your neighbors. Things will get very messy.

Beyond that if you determine you want to fulfill that fantasy do it with someone you do not know. Someone out of town. Someone who will not come knocking on your door if there turns out to be an issue.

Have fun!


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Look up the thread from last week where the husband could no longer get it up for his wife after seeing her going to town on another man when they decided to swing with another couple on vacation.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Do not act on this no good can come from it.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> Look up the thread from last week where the husband could no longer get it up for his wife after seeing her going to town on another man when they decided to swing with another couple on vacation.


Yep


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

if your marriage is as good as you say, I will advice you not to do it, there are many chemicals in the brain that play a role in getting attached to a new sexual partner (that also why affairs are described as addictives even if the people involved know is destructive).

the odds suggest that at least one could get attached and try to continue the sexual encounters, is not illogical that you or your husband could end having and affair with the OM/OW hiding it from the other two parts involved.

yes fantazies sound good, but once that is real in it can change things in the relationship permanently.

you don't know your own reactions, once that you see your husband attached to other woman or knewing he is having sex with her, maybe will change your visions, respect and love for him and thos goes both ways, and that is one of the lighter scenarios.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

AnaV said:


> Now my husband asks me if I would like Emma as well and if I would consider a threesome or even a foursome with her and her husband. He has this stuck in his head and is sure both Emma and her husband would agree to it as per Emma's comments and other general comments her husband has made to mine complimenting me etc.


Keep in mind that you are asking this question on TAM, where people are very conservative about these things, and most are strongly opposed to swinging.

I'm a bit more open-minded, but at this point you don't even know for sure if the other couple is interested. Before going that route, why not meet another couple entirely, someone you aren't friends with already, and try this fantasy with them before trying it with your good friends.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

Awww darn, I knew it! Shoot, these people are so lovely! Thanks so much to everyone for your advice!
I totally agree but lately have only been listening that little devil in my left shoulder!
Has anyone of you been successful swinging? Our problem is, for some reason we feel that we're at a right moment to start trying different things and in my case, I don't think I can have intercourse with a stranger! 
I'm so afraid of STD's and plus I believe I'm more intellectually aroused than physically and I only like people that I know, not sure if I'm explaining myself properly.
My husband tells me we could try whatever I want that I feel safer doing, like hiring a couple of escorts and watch them getting down with no participation or something like that. Has anybody done anything like that??
Also, what if our "friends" insist and guarantee all kinds securities. Still bad idea?
Also, do you think this girl by her comments is after my husband, myself or both? What does it look like to you?
Sorry for all the questions but thank you for your comments! Feel much more enlightened now!


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

If you didn't have kids, I might advise that you try it. No scratch that, they're neighbors. Too much can go wrong, and now you're in the same neighborhood and there's a great chance other neighbors find out. There's way too much that can go wrong to risk it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I'm not opposed to swinging and I like to fantasize about it. However, reality is so very very different from fantasy. I just don't have faith that any couple could honestly for see all the potential pitfalls and feelings swinging can generate. And in your case. The other could are neighbors and friends, which is makes the pitfalls 3 times as likely for not a happy ending.

PBear's advice makes the most sense, IMO.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

In my opinion, the girl wants to swing. With both of you. And I'm sure her husband's included. She's just the appointed one to get the ball rolling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If I ever saw my wife with another man, I know 100% that I could never get past it. I'd never see her the same way. I can very much identify with the guy who posted about mind movies and not being able to get it up for his wife after seeing her and how enthusiastic she was with another man. I guess it's good that I already know this about myself. 

My assumption has always been that my wife would feel the same about seeing me with another woman. The fantasy sounds hot, but for me I just know that it would be the end of "us".


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Cubby said:


> In my opinion, the girl wants to swing. With both of you. And I'm sure her husband's included. She's just the appointed one to get the ball rolling.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is like one of my worst nightmares. I read a lot of erotica and this is a common theme....but I can't even read these stories. You know, the ones where the wife is assigned to seduce the couple, then the man is brought in and he ends up stealing the wife and the naive husband ends up alone or cuckolded. The thought of that is enough to keep me from EVER swinging in real life.


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## DeusEx (Mar 7, 2013)

Ugh, well its not for everyone... this thing. 

Go read'' My Wife And I Had A Failed Foursome And Now I Don’t Know What To Do'' google this title, shound be no. 1 on the list.

Read it with your hubby. WARNING some graphic details there


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

It maybe a lovely fantasy (said this so many times) The thought maybe a nice thing, turn on, and an adventure, but doing it, and the fantasy are two different things, Stick with the latter, I think this sort of thing will only end in heartbreak.

My husband and I have fantasy's but that is exactly what they are. I do not think i could ever get over seeing my hubby lay down with another.......

I believe it will go pear shaped, and for others it has many times.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

AnaV, they could be swingers, or at least interested in the idea. They've probably talked about you and your husband, and are testing the waters a little.

Normally I'd say this is perfectly fine if you want to go there and try it out. However, you are part of a successful social group and you have to consider the risks of disrupting the group or at least your participation. If things go well with this other couple, no problem - but if they don't, can everyone be mature enough to not let it carry over into the rest of your social interactions?

We've usually played with other couples and then formed friendships. It's harder to change from friendship to playmates and risk the friendship, but it can work. Anyway, if you do pursue this, you should all talk before acting, and set some limits and expectations, and consider it an experiment that will be dismissed if it does not work out.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

DeusEx said:


> Ugh, well its not for everyone... this thing.
> 
> Go read'' My Wife And I Had A Failed Foursome And Now I Don’t Know What To Do'' google this title, shound be no. 1 on the list.
> 
> Read it with your hubby. WARNING some graphic details there


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

When it comes to sex I'm in pre-school and these people are PhD's. I'm telling you I can see this ending horribly.

Take the advice given and immerse yourself in your husband. These other people know EXACTLY what they're doing with you guys. Sounds like they're prepping you. Just seems sleazy to me.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

One of the main caveats, is seriously considering how you will feel seeing your spouse having sex with another person. Many people LIKE to watch and get turned on by it, but others feel insanely jealous and can't handle it. Assuming you play as a couple and not just the ladies, picture this scenario and see how you feel. If you talk to the other couple about doing this, ask them to picture the same, and of course have you husband picture this as well. You may not get beyond this point, and even if you do, some will still have a negative reaction. When it works, it's worth it. When it doesn't, it isn't always bad. If you've thought and planned, it only occasionally goes badly wrong. Indeed, leave alcohol out of it, at least have no more than one or two drinks. Devise some ways to signal each other if things are going well or not, with one signal (probably verbal) to indicate you want to stop things ASAP. That has worked well for us to avoid most problems.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I've posted my story (stories?) in here before. I think swinging CAN work, but it's also risky. 

You could try going to a sex club, if you're looking to spice things up. We've never had any pressure to " share". It's just good sexy fun. 

But having sex with people you know, in your own backyard (virtually speaking)? Not a good idea, in my books. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

AnaV said:


> Ouch, that's some tough stuff!!
> I know that's exactly how it is and highly likely those are the whereabouts of how things would go. Double Bummer!
> 
> Does it make any difference if none of us are drunk and the four of us actually plan it for a while? Any thought's? I know I'm sounding stubborn but want to soak myself with information so I know how to proceed when/if the occasion arises.


 A fantasy is meant to be kept in your head. In your fantasy, you control everything from start to finish and each and every time it ends well. Why? because it's a fantasy and not real.

Now taking a fantasy and turning it into reality is a whole new ball game. Once the deed is done, you can't erase it and make a re-do. Doesn't work that way. It's done and over with and you now own it. 

It reminds me of people who have affairs. The build up to the actual event is hot, sexy and your not thinking real clear because your brain got shut down. 

Then when it's over and the heavy breathing goes back to normal, reality hits and you get that "Oh $h!t, what did I just do" moment and there ain't thing one you can do to take it back. It's done and then you have to go back to your normal life.

Look. You say that you and your husband have a great marriage and a good life together. Want to keep it that way? Then use good common sense and keep the fantasy in your head. Stop walking the dog in front of Mister "I got a small crush on" and shaking your tail feathers. Save it for your husband and keep the happy marriage. 

Either that or your a mystic and have a crystal ball and could predict the future if you travel down this road. It's you life and your marriage so the choice is yours.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

I know for me and my spouse, the fantasy was sexy and awesome...but then we started planning out the logistics and laying out the ground rules, and realized that it just wouldn't work.

As weird as it sounds, that might work for you. Seriously discuss it. Are you okay with your husband going down on another woman? Another woman going down on him? Deep kissing? PIV with another woman? Same questions for him. Is he seriously okay with the idea of watching you kiss another man, or ride another man, or...

See, for me that's where it got squeamish. I realized I wasn't okay with the idea of my husband kissing another woman, or PIV with another partner. It's a sexy thought, but one I personally can't implement.

Oh, and in light of your most recent post: sure, they are the Joneses, and you are the new plaything...but what if something goes wrong? What if they get bored with you? What if there ends up being a disagreement? That's a far way to fall and be ostracized.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Never Share your Spouse

55


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

the problem is not that is not hot, I understand your desire and I bet your husband has it too which is normal, people here is not really tight or judgamental in sexual things, there have been threads about toys, sex and feets, a Little sado, what we are afraid is the emotianal attachment that you, your husband or one of the other parts cad develop as result of this encounter (or the total opposite the dissaparence of the bond you and you husband have)

if there were guaratees that you both can do it and still remain as a couple in love with a good memory and story to talk 30 years in the future I would tell you without doubt sure go for it, in 30 years you will be laughting of those crazy times, the problems is to be aware if you are the kind of people who can do it and remain the same.

I see that you really wanna do it, so talk openly about this with your husband (and about of all the warnings we are giving you) you will have to set some serious ground rules and you will have to keep being honest and loyal to each other (just in case that one of the other couple come looking for aone of you to have exclusive encounters in other words an affair).

I am going to be honest with you, it sounds like your husband is on it for the fantazy while you are on it for the guy (for your harmless crush until this moment), which can be dangerous if you got attached to him and then you could end being the one looking for the affair with him (I am just managing all the scenarios), if you really think of it as fantazy and you think you and your husband can handle it and later reject them if they look for something in the side then discuss it.

BTW you idea or you and the OW is not gonna work, both of them will have bonners and most likely they will join so it will end being a 4some anyway (and I think you know it gal).


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

AnaV said:


> Ok, new idea.
> What if:
> We agree to no swinging, but instead Emma and I engage in intercourse and let the boys watch, laying down this rules strictly? Do you foresee any very very disastrous outcome? What do you guys think?
> [/i][/size]


 Oh boy! You get to have fun with good ol' Emma and the boys get to watch and wax their carrots. In other words you get to screw around and the boys can't.

Where is the fairness in that? Look if you want to jump in, the don't wade. Jump in head first and pray to God it's not the shallow end. It seems like you have your mind made up already.

Just by chance, what if your husband says, I don't think I want to do this. What are you going to do. You already have this whole thing in passing gear already. Going to go behind his back?


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

DeusEx said:


> Go read'' My Wife And I Had A Failed Foursome And Now I Don’t Know What To Do'' google this title,





6301 said:


> Now taking a fantasy and turning it into reality is a whole new ball game. Once the deed is done, you can't erase it and make a re-do. Doesn't work that way. It's done and over with and you now own it. ...
> 
> Look. You say that you and your husband have a great marriage and a good life together. Want to keep it that way? Then use good common sense and keep the fantasy in your head.



All this scare-mongering is a little ridiculous. 

On other forums I have seen people using the same scare tactics against pre-marital sex (or any sex).You can get pregnant! You can get a disease! Why chance it? You can't turn back that clock! You could lose your friend! Fantasies should stay in your head; if your life is good, why mess with it! Be happy staying friends or living with your parents; why change?

Yes, a million bad things COULD happen. But a milion good things could happen too. if you keep fantasies in your head only than you will live your life with no risk, no excitement, nothing but the boring status quo, and the day you are dying you will look back and then wish you took a few more chances with things. I understand some people have religious objections, but the OP didn't ask for religious advice.

Having said all that, sex with the neighbors may not be the best choice for this particular couple. I'm just saying it's not constructive to scare someone by painting only the worst case scenario over things you haven't even tried.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

wow...it does sound like it would be a fun time, I have thought about that scenario quite often. would I ever go through with it? nope, me and my wife talk openly about most things, I have told her many of my fantasies and what I would like to do with other people, her, me ,another man or woman or couple etc.

it is risky enough regardless, then you throw in the mix that these are friends and NEIGHBOURS and that makes things pretty complicated to me. in a perfect world you four could get away for a weekend to a resort in Mexico and screw all day then come back and relax knowing that no one else will ever know. this is not reality though, somebody will get drunk and brag or ***** about something that is going on and somebody will hear it. gossip will then be around town and even false rumors hurt couples and friendships, this would be true though, and it would be worse because you cannot deny. 

something you could try is to wrote some stories for each other, involve this other couple, pretend like you are doing things with them. you can talk about them in bed and play it out, use toys as substitutes for the real people etc. that would be fun. 

I have written many stories for my wife, some are scenarios that I would like to be in, and some are ones that I know would turn her on, thus turning me on. 

I am pretty conservative, I have only had a few sexual partners in my life, I have been with my wife for 25 years. I do understand how other couples are open in the relationship and it can be hard on them, most do not last that long in reality, it generally means they are not happy and are looking around a lot.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I guess if your guy is telling you that he would like to watch you have sex with Mr. Jones than he is definitely not like most men.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I still think it's a bad idea, but you apparently really want to do it, so knock yourself out.

C


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Theseus said:


> All this scare-mongering is a little ridiculous.
> 
> On other forums I have seen people using the same scare tactics against pre-marital sex (or any sex).You can get pregnant! You can get a disease! Why chance it? You can't turn back that clock! You could lose your friend! Fantasies should stay in your head; if your life is good, why mess with it! Be happy staying friends or living with your parents; why change?
> 
> ...


Significant risk, minimal upside. Not worth the risk.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Significant risk, minimal upside. Not worth the risk.


Listen
If you want to do something kinky do outdoor sex.
My ex and I did it on occasion my gf and I did it once so far.

bottom line, especially since you have a kid.
Don't do it.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> If I ever saw my wife with another man, I know 100% that I could never get past it. I'd never see her the same way. I can very much identify with the guy who posted about mind movies and not being able to get it up for his wife after seeing her and how enthusiastic she was with another man. I guess it's good that I already know this about myself.
> 
> My assumption has always been that my wife would feel the same about seeing me with another woman. The fantasy sounds hot, but for me I just know that it would be the end of "us".


^^This .. the above is EXACTLY my view too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

tom67 said:


> bottom line, especially since you have a kid.
> Don't do it.


That's the most important reason not to do it. Don't risk bringing misery into a child's life simply because you want to experience something that's "hot."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Cubby said:


> That's the most important reason not to do it. Don't risk bringing misery into a child's life simply because you want to experience something that's "hot."
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Eat a lot of chocolate seriously look log term.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Other than the fact that your husband says this woman called you "hot" or your husband says he thinks this couple might be up for swinging, have either of them broached the subject with you? Your husband is currently a horn dog with a threesome fantasy and you saw some cupcake squeezing him just a little bit longer than "normal". I wonder if this swinging possibility is 90% between your husband's ears.

If this woman finds you "hot", wouldn't it be logical for her to directly show or tell you and not your husband? Now, if she's flirting with your husband and trying to test the waters or give herself some plausible deniability, she might physically flirt but verbally reaffirm his marriage to you. One thing you do know. You're married and have been for 15 years. Whatever you're both doing has been working. Judging from your frequency of sex, it's been working better than most marriages. I believe I'd be reluctant to bring others into a relationship that works.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

CD Baker's thread suggests that it can blow up if any of the people involved have issues.

Swinging introduces risk. Boredom also creates risk. People get divorced, regardless of the exact causes. Your husband and you are having a discussion that could be very healthy for your marriage. Do you see problems in your relationship that you have not discussed honestly or worked on?

If either of you have financial problems, porn addiction, romance novel addiction, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders, then I would say absolutely don't add an extra problem.

A child with disability would be another source of tension.

Sexual dysfunction, a sexless marriage would also be a bad background to swinging.

If you go through your relationship and find that it is sound, then maybe you can take this sort of risk.

I think it will only work well if all 4 are fairly strong and self confident.

If you do decide to do it, keep it to the girl-girl thing, until you are certain you all feel secure. The last thing you need is to discover that your husband's penis is slightly longer but the other guy is just a bit thicker and then both of you wives say something about this while orgasming and both men go home permanently inadequate for the rest of their lives.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Theseus said:


> All this scare-mongering is a little ridiculous.
> 
> On other forums I have seen people using the same scare tactics against pre-marital sex (or any sex).You can get pregnant! You can get a disease! Why chance it? You can't turn back that clock! You could lose your friend! Fantasies should stay in your head; if your life is good, why mess with it! Be happy staying friends or living with your parents; why change?
> 
> ...


I agree with this.

When your 65 you can remember 2 things....

The times you should have, and the times you didnt.

Or you can remember fondly the times you did.

NOW that being said I do not think a 3 some is worth risking your marriage.

So get out of town and find someone you want to share and enjoy the fantasy with your husband. 

As long as you are open and communicate your feelings to each other you will be fine.. If you enjoy it do it again. If you dont then stop


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

AnaV said:


> Ok, new idea.
> What if:
> We agree to no swinging, but instead Emma and I engage in intercourse and let the boys watch, laying down this rule strictly? Do you foresee any very very disastrous outcome? What do you guys think?
> It would'nt be my first choice - and this is my tiny devil writing- as I was looking forward to some action with Mr. Emma, but I'm sure the boys will enjoy it, Emma might enjoy it and me, well, I may or may not enjoy it but either way I'm willing to take one for the team .
> ...


So basically you're attracted to bulge in his pants but the wallet bulge and not the other one?

Cliché.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

there are so many threads where this ended or changed a marriage I think you would be foolish to even consider it!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Once you wrote about them being the "Joneses"... That virtually proves that this will destroy your marriage. Your husband is too dumb to see this. Sad.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

sinnister said:


> When it comes to sex I'm in pre-school and these people are PhD's.


That's how i feel too.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

So its not about the sex as much as the power of sleeping with the best looking couple in the neighborhood??


Did you sleep with the QB of the football team in college just because he was popular?

I stand by the thought that its great that you and your husband have fantasies and that keeps a relationship alive. BUT by no means would I do this with that couple. Do you want all the other neighbors to find this out? They will eventually. Something will go wrong and it will happen.

Understand that someone that successful that has all that in their mind this is about conquest. Tiger Woods did not bang all those chicks because he was just horny. He did it because his internal drive is so strong it got him to the point where he believed he could have and do anything. This may be the same for your neighbors.

So we have 2 seperate issues. You want to experiment sexually with your spouse? In the right context I think that is up to you if you can handle it and have the proper relationship. If you want to sleep with the Jones Family because he has a chateau in the Med that is another issue all together.

Only you can make the final decision. If you base it on the comments here I think you have been warned of the what could happen.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Well, OP, at least you were warned.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

it's not really hitting the spot.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

"taking our sexual relationship up a notch"?

Friend, it might go way, way down. 

I know it is hard to face that our husbands may actually be selfish. I can hardly admit it, either. But this is selfish behavior from your husband. He is not doing this for _your_ best interests.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

In your very first post, you mentioned how an extra long hug from Emma initially made you feel a bit jealous.

And that was a _hug_. That was your first gut reaction. Always go with your first instinct.

I get the need to turn it up a notch, but really, does it have to be swinging? Plenty of other risque activities can happen to bring some excitement to your sex life. 

You do seem like you are hell bent in making this happen, or looking for a post that will say "Absolutely! Go for it! Have fun!!" But in my opinion, if there has ever, ever been even a remote drop of insecurity or jealousy in your relationship, from either of you, I'd say find another way to spice up your sex life.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

jld said:


> But this is selfish behavior from your husband. He is not doing this for _your_ best interests.


:iagree:


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I think those hormones and testosterone's are not only playing with his little head but also his big head.

What if he wasn't on them? Would he still get these cool ideas? You do what you want but if it blows up in your face are you going to accept his raging hard on as an excuse? 

You better think a lot more about what your doing. A man thinking with his little head has gotten him in trouble since time began.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I had such neighbors once. No swinging  but everything else.

Husband cheated on a wife that looked like Farrah Fawcett with the nanny who looked like the Michelin man. Wife reciprocated by cheating with one of his employees, a tattooed mechanic or similar, big burly guy. They lost the house, their business, and a ton of money.

Money makes many people drop their tolerance or margin for anything - and there are many things that money can't fix. Marriage is one of them.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Exactly. Your husband is not the most attractive man in your sphere. Recipe for disaster in your marriage. Total destruction. Women are biologically programmed to be attracted to power, money and social status. Your husband is unaware of this and is fixing to inadvertantly feed that attraction you have. Attraction in women is a "one guy wins" phenomenon. This can't go anwywhere but you being more attracted to another woman's husband while your husband becomes unnattractive to you. Be warned.

Your husband is dumb and allowing a porn fed fantasy to become reality. You will be even less attracted to him once he feeds you to an alpha male. You will place your husband in a non sexual position in your life.

Your husband has led you to this place where you are in your head. He's doing himself an incredible disservice since it will blow up life as he knows it. Please think of your children and other innocents that will be harmed. Have him read up on the concept of attraction in females.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Crazy.

I would tell him I'm not sharing you with anyone. You are all I need and when we look back on this when were are 70 I will think glad.... I didn't share my wonderful husband with anybody.


Then tell him your selfish that way.

then ride him into the sunset knowing you made the right choice.

good luck pilgram.


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

I have never been in this situation but my best friend from high school was, just a couple years ago. a social group like you described, we've all known each other for 20+ years... in some cases, since elementary school.

his wife liked to fantasize about being with another woman. she got him on board with it. they decided on a couple from the social group, and eventually, all consented. my hs friend is, well, a pretty good looking guy, very athletic, and very well endowed. he's also a very kind guy, and loving. the other hubs is a bit of a dud in the sack, according to my friends wife. the other hubs got to see another man not only give his wife her first orgasm, but multiples... then, the women played, and he got to see her enjoy that, too....

he wanted it to stop. they all agreed.

then she started sneaking around and doing 3-ways with this couple... and just her and my friends wife hooking up when they had said they were out "shopping"

of course, eventually, it all blew apart, the girl didn't want to have sex with her husband any more, she had found better. she and he split. she was ok with doing my friends wife, but REALLY REALLY wanted him... that caused jealousy finally with HIS wife, and they split. 

2 kids, one in each home, had their families ripped apart.

once it all got out to the social group, it destroyed decades long friendships.

they all ended up moving to different places.

so, while the fantasy is oh sooo tempting... what if Mrs Jones really rocks your husbands world... or yours? or Mr jones?

me, I'm kind of a thrill seeker. I'd love to see what cocaine is like... but knowing the potential for it's danger, I will never try it. I might regret that when I'm 90... who knows. what you are contemplating is just as damaging.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

The scenario above happened to my current GF. Very similar. Ended up being the end of her marriage.

I have never been a swinger but have been in some 3 somes. I have friends who are "in the lifestyle" and have had multiple discussions with them. It takes a VERY special person and relationship to handle all that. The best seem to go into the relationship with that in mind.

I know I would not want to see my wife with another guy. Another woman? yes. I do not see that as a threat. At all. That is a very sensual experience. In fact 3 somes i was involved in I did not have intercourse with the other woman. That was the rule laid out before the situation and I had not problem complying. 

I guess what I am saying is that if you want to have an experience like this DO not do it with someone you are close to. Maybe lay out some ground rules and start very slowly and see how that sits. Dont just one day have to many bottles of red wine and get naked and wake up regretting what happened.

I promise you it does not happen like the movies. Its awkward at first, a little crazy, etc. But it can be a great experience IF you do it right and everyone is on board and understands what the rules of play are.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Been there done that. Don't do it. The fantasy is much better than the reality. 

Anyone I ever had a threesome or foursome with back in the day has long been divorced. And afterwards they never did it again. 

I was in my 20s then; that's the time to experiement, not when you have kids and are established. It's asking for trouble. 

In fact, I would take it a step farther and say this is a red flag. I suspect your H will step out regardless of what you decide with this scenario. And maybe you will too, if you're taking action on your crush. 

Very slippery slope.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

You both have to know what you would not feel comfortable with. Perhaps seeing your husband doing the neighbor's wife doggy style would be exciting. But do you want to see them doing it missionary and engaging in long passionate kisses? Don't know why the kissing might bother you more than wild monkey sex.

Also, everybody should go for and STD check up before hand.

People have been swinging since we stayed in the trees and caves. 

The theory about the physiology of the glans is that it is a sperm war semen remover.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

I totally agree.


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## 1812overture (Nov 25, 2013)

soulsearch said:


> I'd love to see what cocaine is like... but knowing the potential for it's danger, I will never try it. I might regret that when I'm 90... who knows. .


Try it when you're 90.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

doubletrouble said:


> this is a red flag. I suspect your H will step out regardless of what you decide with this scenario. And maybe you will too, if you're taking action on your crush.
> 
> Very slippery slope.


I have to reiterate this. Now he's asking you to hire a hooker?? Insisting, even? And let me guess - he just wants to watch. Uh huh.

:redcard: :redcard: :redcard:

If I were you i'd be doing a ton of snooping. Chances are he's already hooked up with other couples or hookers or who knows what. Many husbands try to get their wife involved after they've been doing it a while and start to feel guilty.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

AnaV said:


> He asked me *once more *to please agree to hire a female escort for a night.
> 
> I've *always* told him no.
> 
> ...


Red flags all over the place. He always asks, you always say no. He's insisting now. 

If he just wants to watch, you can both go to a sex club and watch. No touch, just watch. And frankly, that wouldn't work in my relationship, but I don't share.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'll never understand people that are so careless with their spouses.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

The idea of doing it with hooker is a bit souless and revolting.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

> While in the middle of intercourse a few days ago I told him a felt a bit jealous when he hugged Emma as it seemed a more prolonged hug.


This is nothing to how you might feel watching your H have sex with her.

Think carefully, OP...


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

We have dabbled in swinging. Not with anyone in our regular life. No friends, no coworkers, no neighbors!!!! These people will never be at a home barbecue or know what our kids look like. It has been at sex clubs, together in the same room, no strings attached. The people at the clubs are not looking to take away your spouse or break up your marriage. A bored/unhappy neighbor might!

I'll be honest, the sex is just ok. The thrill is when we get home and talk about it in bed. In our case the fantasy is better than the reality of swinging and really just confirms that our old, married sex is way hotter.

We both agree that swinging only works when there is a lot of communication before, during and after. We talked a lot and were married 20 years before even trying. I've seen a lot of unhappy people at the clubs and I could only imagine if you introduce someone from your regular life into your bedroom. NO!

I suggest you talk dirty about your neighbor in the bedroom but never act on it in real life.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

AnaV said:


> but we have a feeling that they - or she- will probably continue throwing her little arrows.


Then snap those little arrows in half! Either be up front and say you're not interested or just stop hanging with these folks. Honestly, they sound like trouble.

And I know I might sound hypocritical, but I would say no to the escorts too. How would it look it you got busted by the cops with a hooker?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> This is nothing to how you might feel watching your H have sex with her.
> 
> Think carefully, OP...


Reminds me of a couple who used to post here about two years or so. She posted more than him, but I remember they had a threesome after he pushed her into it. She wasn't really all that interested in the threesome. Both husband and wife regretted it afterwards. It did a lot of damage to their marriage. She didn't like what happend. She also couldn't get the images out of her head.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I imagine there are lots of websites for couples who swing an delve into 3rd parties and such. Not to say anyone here hasn't done such a thing but if you are looking for pitfalls to avoid perhaps you should get a consensus from those who have been there.

As my husband says - I can't keep *one* woman happy so why try for two? (He says this in jest.)

Do you live in Nevada? My concern with an escort would be getting arrested or caught in a prostitution sting. But perhaps I have just watched too much tv.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Significant risk, minimal upside. Not worth the risk.



:scratchhead: Couldn't the same thing be said about *ANY* relationship? Or even marriage, for that matter?


The funny thing is, for every one of these horror stories here, i can point to a similar horror story on TAM of a 100% monogamous couple. So the lesson is to never get married?

I'm not saying swinging is necessarily a good idea. But it certainly has the same "upside" as any relationship, which is simply one's own happiness. If swinging is inherently dangerous, then let's see some actual data on that, because anecdotes just don't cut it, since bad things happen to any couple.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Theseus said:


> :scratchhead: Couldn't the same thing be said about *ANY* relationship? Or even marriage, for that matter?
> 
> 
> The funny thing is, for every one of these horror stories here, i can point to a similar horror story on TAM of a 100% monogamous couple. So the lesson is to never get married?


Only if you think marriage truly carries minimal upside. 

That's not a view to which I think most of us subscribe. No quibble on the significant risk factor.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

AnaV, how do you feel about your husband being extremely eager to share you with others? I would think it makes you feel like he considers you not-so-special and more like a sex object. But maybe I'm wrong.

And your husband seems somewhat cuckold-y. I hope you realize that there's a great chance you'll lose respect for him as a man if you go down this road.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Theseus said:


> :scratchhead: Couldn't the same thing be said about *ANY* relationship? Or even marriage, for that matter?
> 
> 
> The funny thing is, for every one of these horror stories here, i can point to a similar horror story on TAM of a 100% monogamous couple. So the lesson is to never get married?
> ...


They're already married. And she says they have a good marriage. So they're not contemplating entering into a marriage, they're already there and it's working for them.

This swinging thing is something new for AnaV and her husband. Even the enthusiastic participants of swinging acknowledge that it's not for everyone and that it can be fatal to a lot of couples' marriages. I don't think anyone knows the percentages, but ignoring the anecdotes, since there's so much at stake, would be foolish.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

My interpretation is that he talked to the girlfriend first and isn't going to stop entertaining the idea with her. This is on him. 

If this is what testosterone therapy does I would request that the dosage be adjusted. 

An escort? You agree with prostitution? Call it what it is. Nice guy you have got there. And wouldn't it feel wonderful to know you too will have been with a prostitute.? 

Things are out of hand. Get control over your marriage.


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## landon33 (Jul 13, 2012)

Consulting TAM on the subject of swinging and expecting an impartial answer is as pointless as asking a similar question on a swinger lifestyle forum. 

Both are heavily biased.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

I read an intro to a swinging site and they gave a very sober evaluation of what is all about. They defined categories and risk factors. Most couples were not classified as secure and this was a pro swinging site.

1) If the husband has a desire to be a cuckold, then it is the end of the marriage, or at least the marriage based on respect for his masculinity.

2) If the wife is much younger and the husband is no longer up to her needs, that is another scenario. The husband may use the swinging or other man to keep his wife satisfied. 

One way for the OP to clarify the situation is to see if the husbands would agree to let the wives play by themselves in hotel and then come home and tell what happened.

OP can also put a stop to her husband's agitation by suggesting that MFM would be nice and she would like to try a big black dude.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

If you do this via the prostitute way jump a flight to Vegas and go to the bunny ranch. Pay the 2 or 3k. Professionals, tested, willing, you get to choose, she wont be knocking on your door.

Your husband is a little too eager and posters may be correct. Maybe the T treatment is leading him down this road. But experimenting with your sexuality takes both of you to be in agreement and understand the rules of the game. He is pushing a bit to hard. 

I've been in his shoes. I pushed hard once in a relationship to do things she was not comfortable with. Fortunately she stood her ground as it probably would have wrecked the relationship with resentment. Then we came to a middle ground agreement that basically said instead of having another woman in the room with us we would go to a high end strip club now and then, get her a private dance now and then, and that kept the fires burning, let her experiment a bit, and did not cross to much of a boundary for us.

So there are ways to step out a little bit and still not dive right in. You guys just have to find the ways that suite you. But hubby needs to not push quite as hard.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We were part of the swinger community for several years. Of course there are risks - the main risk comes from relationships that are not good to begin with. The happier, more stable and communicative couples rarely had any difficulty getting into and enjoying swinging, _as long as they both were enthusiastic about trying it_. Those who weren't or tried to use it to solve a problem, sometimes made their marriage worse.

We literally met and talked to hundreds of couples, and heard about hundreds more in our area. Over the years, there were a small number who left due to relationship problems. Many were still participating years later, and many had started years before we joined. So if anecdotes count, I have hundreds of successful ones, and few bad ones.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> We were part of the swinger community for several years. Of course there are risks - the main risk comes from relationships that are not good to begin with. The happier, more stable and communicative couples rarely had any difficulty getting into and enjoying swinging, _as long as they both were enthusiastic about trying it_. Those who weren't or tried to use it to solve a problem, sometimes made their marriage worse.
> 
> We literally met and talked to hundreds of couples, and heard about hundreds more in our area. Over the years, there were a small number who left due to relationship problems. Many were still participating years later, and many had started years before we joined. So if anecdotes count, I have hundreds of successful ones, and few bad ones.


Sounds suspiciously like marriage in general....Sometimes it goes bad and sometimes it goes well.

MBH makes great points here and obviously has experience with it. My experience is not quite as deep but in conversations with those that have been its the same tone. You have to be very secure in your relationship and have amazing communication AND listening skills. Jealousy can not be part of the equation.

Just like anything else you will get opinions for and against. I think it is an amazing thing for a couple to share in the experience of finding out more about their sexuality. For the bond between two people to be that strong is a incredible thing to me. However if your husband just wants to go bang around then its a huge red flag. Only you two can figure that out.

I wish you all the best in whatever you both decide to do


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

AnaV said:


> Actually, my husband's the one that's pushing it and for some reason he doesn't see me being with another girl as an infidelity ( his words).
> 
> *Shocking!*
> 
> ...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

_*My husband finds her attractive and I find her, well, interesting. 

Now, here's the other part of the story. Through time I had been finding her husband more and more interesting. I few months ago I developed a little secret crush on him

Now my husband asks me if I would like Emma as well and if I would consider a threesome or even a foursome with her and her husband.*_











This will not end well.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

AnaV said:


> My husband is doing hormone replacement and taking testosterone which maintains him constantly aroused. !


The idea of a female escort is another bad one. It's an illegal act. Moms and Dad's should not commit crimes together. Your and your husbands lives should be geared toward providing and protecting your children and not dominated by getting your sexual jollies.

Why is your husband taking testosterone? Do you see that it is harming him and his marriage? He should see his doctor.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> If you do this via the prostitute way jump a flight to Vegas and go to the bunny ranch. Pay the 2 or 3k. Professionals, tested, willing, you get to choose, she wont be knocking on your door.
> 
> Your husband is a little too eager and posters may be correct. Maybe the T treatment is leading him down this road. But experimenting with your sexuality takes both of you to be in agreement and understand the rules of the game. He is pushing a bit to hard.
> 
> ...


Yes, the strip club idea is a way to test this boundary without going too far....


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

You've all given me great ideas and much food for thought.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

If I were you, I would not do any of this. I would tell your dh the same thing.

Why complicating your life like this?


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Fantasizing about adding people is NOT a green light. Do not beat yourself up. I tell my H about my fantasy to be tied up and forced by a handsome stranger. That does NOT mean I asked to be raped. Fantasy is a fun and safe way to explore sexuality with the one you love and trust.

If you live near a large city, Google "on premise swingers club" and go as a couple to watch what happens. It will help you gauge your comfort level.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So did you read the part where we're concerned that he's already doing what he wants behind your back? Or do you choose to ignore all the red flags?


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

Hope1964 said:


> So did you read the part where we're concerned that he's already doing what he wants behind your back? Or do you choose to ignore all the red flags?


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

AnaV, I'm getting the sense that swinging isn't for you. Just the fact that you're here asking the questions shows that you have mixed feelings about this. To do the swinging thing, I think you have to be 100 percent on board, with no reservations about it.

As for the ideas about a hooker, or a strip club, or strangers, etc, I don't think that's what you want. (If I remember correctly from reading your posts) I think you're fascinated with Mr. Jones, not as much with the idea of swinging. 

But your husband is simply into swinging, and not as much specifically the Joneses. I think he'd take about anything, he just wants to do it. I think your husband's obsession is going to be a problem going forward.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

There are tons of pictures of swinging couples on the web. What do the photos that show a woman wearing a wedding ring having intercourse with a man who is apparently not her husband because someone – presumably hubby – is holding the camera.

Why do they then release these photos on exclusive sites from which they are eventually leaked to tumblr and other photo sharing sites?

Are the photos exposed to the world because the couple is proud of the exciting sex life?

Are they divorced and a bitter spouse has dumped private pictures out to get revenge?

One thing that comes through in the photos is that there is a desire for new sexual experiences and validation.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)




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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Maybe it is my lack of confidence but I imagine going up to Emma (Mr. Jones in my case) and hinting at this and she/he looks at me like I am an alien from Mars.

You pervert! (not that I am saying anyone who likes this sort of thing is a pervert) But that sure would be awkward.

Fantasies are often better than the real thing.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

AnaV said:


> I may agree with most of this....
> I think the clubs are the less invasive and I may look into that, *although I'm afraid this will make hotter sparks fly off my husband on the subject*. I'm also so afraid to be caught in there by someone I know (yikes!).
> I'll look into this "just looking" solution.


How easy will it be for you to say "no" if he pushes the subject? 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you are certain *you *want to do it. If you have even some slight doubts about the escort, threesome, foursome, whatever, don't do it no matter how much your husband pushes you or bargains with you. The disastrous results happen when one person isn't into the activity, but goes along with it to appease the other spouse then all hell breaks loose afterwards. Those are the people who end up feeling degraded with images on their minds they can't get rid of.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

AnaV said:


> I'm also so afraid to be caught in there by someone I know (yikes!).


Why? They're there too.

I imagine being nervous about any of the things you are contemplating is quite normal, esp. the first time.

But I sense that you're not emotionally mature enough to do any of this - at least not now. This is something I'd revisit in a few years, if the thoughts are still there.

I, like several others here, get the feeling that it's hubby who's driving this train. And because you don't react in disgust to his fantasies, you are probably thinking that maybe you could go through with this.

But again, the sheer fact that you have to ask strangers on the internet if this is something you "should" do, means you really, really shouldn't.

Honestly, you were expecting the majority of people to say "hell no", and that's what you've got. You KNEW the answer would be no. 

So why did you come here then? Because your subconscious doesn't want to do it, and you need validation from others to prove to the devil on your shoulder that it's not something you want.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

jld said:


> If I were you, I would not do any of this. I would tell your dh the same thing.
> 
> Why complicating your life like this?





Cubby said:


> They're already married. And she says they have a good marriage. So they're not contemplating entering into a marriage, they're already there and it's working for them. .... ignoring the anecdotes, since there's so much at stake, would be foolish.


The same thing could be said of any relationship. But if we followed your formulas, no one would ever get married at all. 

When a couple are friends, but not dating, then do you say: _you already have a good friendship. Why mess with that?_

Or with people who are dating, but not married, do you say: _you already have a good dating relationship. Why complicate things by getting married? After all, I know so many people who got married but are now divorced!_

Truth is, EVERY SINGLE person in my family that got married, also got divorced except for me. So from my perspective, marriage carries huge risks. But I still don't try to talk people out of it. After all, they have to make their own journey in life.

I don't see swinging much differently, except that the government doesn't officially recognize it, so if swinging couples stop seeing each other, they don't have to spend a fortune on lawyers or appeal to a judge for a certificate of divorce. 

BUT - once again, that doesn't mean swinging is always a good idea. I would be extra careful in the case of neighbors. Sure it's extremely convenient with them nearby, but if things go bad you are stuck living next door to them.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> How easy will it be for you to say "no" if he pushes the subject?


I think this is one of the most valid questions on this thread. Before you try this, your husband needs to understand that you both have the right to veto things at any time, without the other partner throwing a fit about it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Theseus said:


> I think this is one of the most valid questions on this thread. Before you try this, your husband needs to understand that you both have the right to veto things at any time, without the other partner throwing a fit about it.


This is an important factor... My SO and I have an agreement that our relationship is the most important thing, and either one of us is free to veto things. I've used it in the past to say I wasn't comfortable with a scenario that fell in our lap. She responded perfectly by accepting that decision and not harping on to or holding a grudge. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

> When speaking about turning our fantasies into reality though, the discussion he pushes is the FMF and never the MFM. Although during intercourse I know the MFM arouses him more.


Of course. Why would _any_ man want to touch d*cks with another man when he can have his W and another woman going down on him? 

I think you two are missing the problems here.

1.) You both have only had intercourse with each other only. From somebody who has had many random partners and what not, let me tell you that there is no deeper sexual connection than with the person you love. The 'hooker' will make you feel cheap afterwards (they are extremely diseased) and you will end up having an emotional connection with Mr. Jones afterwards. Women are NOTORIOUS for falling in love after sex. Good sex with him will only verify your crush.

2.) There are kids involved. Would you have looked up to your parents as role models if they were involved with screwing everyone outside the marriage?

People have their own opinions and you will have yours. Swinging/escorts/etc will completely change who you are, emotionally. You will begin to turn into a completely different person. You will have this other side to you that you hide from everyone else including your kid. Public opinion is against this but that shouldn't be 'why' you do not do this. You should not do this because you will forever become a different person. If you love it, you will become an addict and if you hate it, it will eat you up. There is no middle ground for something like this unless you are one of the rare couples that can f*ck another person and move on with there lives.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

wise said:


> Of course. Why would _any_ man want to touch d*cks with another man when he can have his W and another woman going down on him?
> 
> I think you two are missing the problems here.
> 
> ...



FOREVER A DIFFERENT PERSON?? Thats a little bit much.

Cmon folks. Lets not get carried away here. Swingers are not aliens or molesters or the dregs of society. 

CO seems like she has her head screwed on straight. Of course anyone when considering entering a little different lifestyle or deciding if they want to experiment sexually has questions and reservations. If she did not then she would not be on the site and would be engaged heavily with the neighbors.

I am not admonishing the lifestyle. I am just saying that some people can handle this. She is trying to decide if she can or not. 

Given some of the information on here if she does she will probably die from disease, embarrassment, or be stoned in the town square.

There are ways she can safely experiment with her sexually with her husband. If she decides to do so the best bet is to go slow, communicate, and enjoy this time of your life. It could enrich your life with your mate or it could cause issues. But hell the last time I got in a car I almost got run over.....

Have fun with whatever experience you decide to create with you husband.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> FOREVER A DIFFERENT PERSON?? Thats a little bit much.
> 
> Cmon folks. Lets not get carried away here. Swingers are not aliens or molesters or the dregs of society.


I agree. H and I dabbled in swinging. It did not forever change us. We are professional people who raised college educated children to adulthood, have good jobs and are nice human beings. We are not monsters. I know this sounds crass, but we simply considered the people to be like sex toys.

It is NOT for everybody. Had we tried when we were younger, it would have been disastrous. We had twenty years of communication and trust before we did anything. We were BOTH on board and if either objected to something...we didn't do it. And we would have never, ever, ever, ever, ever played with anyone that close to our family. No, No No!!!!!!!

In the end, it's not even that great. It's so much better with the one you love.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

AnaV said:


> I may agree with most of this....
> I think the clubs are the less invasive and I may look into that, although I'm afraid this will make hotter sparks fly off my husband on the subject. I'm also so afraid to be caught in there by someone I know (yikes!).
> I'll look into this "just looking" solution.


 If I were you, I would take the one foot of the gas and apply the brakes and keep it there.

I would just ask your husband one question. "Can't you be satisfied with just me?" Let him chew on that for a bit.

One thing you brought up that caught my eye and I wanted to give you my answer.

You said that what would happen if you and your hubby went to a swingers club and ran in to someone you know. I thought about it and my answer is, what are they going to do, tell the neighborhood that they saw you and your husband at a swing club without tipping their own hand? Nothing like cutting off their nose to spite their face huh?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Forever different? Perhaps. People change in any case.

I think for most people each sexual encounter changes their life. Even a ONS or an hour with a prostitute is significant in someway.

Swinging could be be a great spice or a burnt pan.


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## AnaV (Jan 14, 2014)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

I know there have been 8 pages of responses...but I really hope you took what I said to heart, Ana. Please, just think to yourself what you are comfortable seeing another woman doing to your husband. Think of every sex act and decide whether you are okay with seeing it happen with someone else.

That for me was what made me decide that I couldn't do anything more than a twosome. It might be what makes you decide you can. But think it over.

Good luck.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

AnaV said:


> Today is my deadline to give my H a response on whether I will go through with this or not. He's been jumping through hoops and bending over backwards for me ever day for the last 3 days. Daily flower bouquets, chocolates, last night it was a 1 hour full body massage with a candles, spa music and a bunch of new oils. The day before he showed up with some vintage chairs I had mentioned I liked while out a few weeks ago. All sorts of sweet but corny texts and skype messages throughout the day. He's working on all cylinders demonstrating his splendidness.
> I know why he's doing all this so I have to give him something concrete today. I'll let you know how that goes.
> Thank you my dear friends for hanging out here with me thru this!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 AnaV. 

He's trying to buy you into this. Yeah it's nice to get all the gifts and the massage, but what if you say no.

How do you think he's going to react? I have a feeling that this will play out by guilting you in to this. Not fair.

Look. You said you have a good marriage, don't ruin it by getting into something that your not sure of. 

Your walking a fine line here and if this fantasy doesn't pan out, someone is going to be the fall guy, and then you and him are going to have a rift in your marriage.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

*Re: Re: Girlfriend tells my Husband I am HOT- I may be interested*



treyvion said:


> Yes, the strip club idea is a way to test this boundary without going too far....


Yeah, because sex never happens in a strip club.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Your husband is buying you into allowing him to have sex with another woman. He's buying buying you into lowering your standards. 

How often does he by you flowers and gifts? How often does he buy you things just because he loves you? But gosh darn he will jump through hoops so that he can have sex with other people and watch you have sex with other people.

I have to say I find this entire thing sickening. 

Prostitutes strippers when your husband kiss your ass so that he can go outside the marriage new line new line and here you are considering it and putting up with it 

And perhaps you should also consider that the people you hang out with are not exactly good for marriage


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

How long do you think it would take him to get a prostitute and get a blowjob? After all he suggested a prostitute made sound nicer with the term escort escort.

Have you checked the bank account and credit card statement recently


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

My wife and I have been where you and your husband are. We took the next step into swinging. It was an awesomely bad idea. Bringing other parties into your marriage is never a good idea. It almost always signals the end of the marriage. It was almost the end of our marriage. We stopped and were able to salvage what we had.

Please don't do this.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

So what was your answer?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

She gave in?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

OP? What news?


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> Forever different? Perhaps. People change in any case.
> 
> I think for most people each sexual encounter changes their life. Even a ONS or an hour with a prostitute is significant in someway.
> 
> Swinging could be be a great spice or a burnt pan.


Well said LongWalk. It's naive to think otherwise.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

I think she gave in and is too embarassed to tell a bunch of strangers she is going to let her husband eff another woman in the guise of a threesome.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Interesting. OP has deleted most of her posts.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Hmmm, wonder what that means? Well, I wish them the best, whatever that is for them.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

I'm sticking with my interpretation.

She will regret it. Knows it. Doesn't want to face it. But is going to do it anyway.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

*Re: Re: Girlfriend tells my Husband I am HOT- I may be interested*



clipclop2 said:


> I'm sticking with my interpretation.
> 
> She will regret it. Knows it. Doesn't want to face it. But is going to do it anyway.


And will be back with a very sad tale to tell.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She came for information. Which she got. What she decided to do was not something she wanted to share, but since TAM generally is negative towards any unorthodox marital behavior, one may speculate that she decided to entertain her husband's request.

Once people leave most never return. It is less than 10% who pop up 6 months or a year later.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> I'm sticking with my interpretation.
> 
> She will regret it. Knows it. Doesn't want to face it. But is going to do it anyway.



I agree. Or the husband will regret it and be sorry he ever brought it up. Now that would be funny.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Being too ashamed to return to an anonymous forum is pretty sad.

The chance that she wont want to is slim.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You love you hubby, right?

You married him and that means you are to be faithful to each other, right?

Good times, bad times, rich, poorer, etc., right?

That means you don't commit adultery, right?


So why would you entertain the idea of a 3 some, 4 some, etc. and you're married to the man you love in the holy bonds of matrimony?

If you were both into this lifestyle, sexually free, then why not only have an open dating relationship? 

Why did you get married?


Your hubby should never pressure you into having a 3 some, 4 some, etc. ever!!! He married you. He loves you. He should be a man and faithful to you. He should only want to make love with you. If he wants to have sex with another woman, or wants you to have sex with another woman and with him, divorce him. My wifee would be, there is the door!!!!

Now is the time to stand up to your hubby, and either say NO, or okay, lets break our vows and have sex with someone else. Choice time......


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