# Should we separate?



## violynn1 (Aug 19, 2012)

Hello all. I'm new to the forum, but lurk off and on. I've been married for 6 years. My husband and I were very good friends in the beginning. We dated for 2 years, engaged for 1, and now married for 6. We have 1 child. Prior to our daughter being born, things were pretty good. We had ups and downs but always worked through them and the good definitely outweighed the bad.

After our daughter, my husband was very stressed out over the new demands of parenting. We both work full time, so managing everything was tough. He was a great dad, but our relationship went sour. 

He constantly criticized my parenting, complained that I wasn't pulling my weight, told me I wasn't a good mother or wife. He would get angry over things like whose turn it was to wash the dishes, or pick up dinner. He would scream at me if I forgot to do something he asked me to do. He would call me lazy, etc. 

A few time things got physical - pinning me down and screaming at me, snatching things from me and throwing them across the room. Other times were just verbal - yelling, cursing, name calling, etc. Probably 6 major fights over the last 3 years.

He does not apologize for these incidents, but feels like we were both wrong, and we should just move on. He doesn't seem to think it's a big deal and feels like I am exaggerating in calling that abuse.

We tried counseling but had a bad counselor. This was about a year ago. Now we are about to start counseling again, but I'm afraid it's too late.

Feedback?


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Any time he gets physical with you, his butt needs to be in jail. There is NO situation that warrants a man touching a woman that way.


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## violynn1 (Aug 19, 2012)

dormant said:


> Any time he gets physical with you, his butt needs to be in jail. There is NO situation that warrants a man touching a woman that way.


Easier said than done. Especially for this situation where I haven't been "beaten". I'd have to really feel like my safety or my child's safety was at risk before I would put my husband in jail. It's been almost 10 years, and I've never felt like I was in real danger. I realize that what he's done is very wrong, hence the possible separation, but I don't feel that it's severe enough to warrant having him arrested.


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