# Active Duty, 10 Years, Confused. please read and comment



## JT Eagle (Mar 27, 2011)

Ok i dont want to make this forever but here it is. I met my wife when i was 17, i was young, kindy of nerdy and not much experience. 3 months in she is pregnant. 'She was abusive during her pregnancy but i dealt with it. FF 3 Years and I join the Marine Corps(200). Graduate boot camp and we marry. 2007 we have our second child. things were good but have gradually gone down hill. i feel like i've grown and she hasnt. I have always encouraged her to do something with her life but she doesn't she doesn't do much of anything. She *****es alot about what everybody else doesn't do. ARGH! She has a different illness every other day as long as it's convenient. I take the kids and put them in sports. I take them to baseball games. I take them camping and bike rides. I always ask her to come but there is always a reason why she cant. I am currently at school for the last 3 months away from my wife and kids. I miss my kids so much. I dont miss my wife at all. I dont even want to talk to her on the phone. I get mad at how she talks to my kids, cussing at them and yelling for no good reason. She tells my youngest that daddy doesn't love her(playingly but i dont like it and i told her this!)I know i was guilty of the same when i was much younger but i understand that it was wrong and i have apoligized to my kids. She says she still loves me but I say it back because i feel forced too. I want out but i dont wont to lose my kids. its hard enough not seeing them with all the deployments. I know im not perfect. i could probaly clean up around the house more. I try to but there are days i come home and the house is trashed. she says she was sick so nothing got done. Am i crazy? Am i just being one sided? I do not like this woman i am married too. Do i love her? I dont know..I think i love the woman i thought i knew..the woman with ambitions and ideas....not who i am with today. maybe this is just a vent thread but i am seriously like one step from divorce. we have been married 11 years this summer. i feel so so so confused...we have done marriage counseling and she didnt like what the marriage counselor said about her...so we stopped going and said i need to go to counseling by myself. I need someone who has been through this!


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