# just want to die.



## Samayouchan (Jun 1, 2012)

i just want to vanish. maybe die. im so sad and hate my life.


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

Hey, you - what's up? You can post or you can send a private message.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

PLEASE do not do anything drastic. Have you gone to counselling for this? Have you seen your medical doctor? Depression is real and has a real chemical basis -- do NOT ignore this, please get help right away.

Venting here may help. Lots of people here have been facing the abyss and still came to live great lives.. You can tool


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

What current situation is making you feel so down? Or do you just feel this way because …???

What can we do to help? Do you want to talk about it here? Right now you may hate your life, but please don't hate yourself.

Vent away.


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

What is important to you? Do you have children or parents? Someone you can reach out to and feel safe talking to? There are people who care about you and do not want you to be alone with what you are going through.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like you are currently in crisis and need to act quickly. It's not all that unusual for someone going through hard times to have thoughts of suicide. 

The good thing is that there is something you can do about this. 

You probably would benefit from seeing a counselor. Also, see your doctor. They can prescribe antidepressants that can help you work through this depression and anxiety. They help to clear away the fog of depression so you can work on solving your issues. They do not numb you, they will help you cope and heal.

Also, here are some resources for you. They can be another outlet for you to talk through your pain and thoughts of suicide.

Here is a link and phone number to a suicide prevention lifeline and their phone number.

*Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK 
*

Please call them and talk to them.

You can post here too of course.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Good luck to you, you have friends here, and I think things will get better for you.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Please talk about it. I have received a lot of support and help from some great people here.

I might have succeeded in doing myself in with alcohol but several TAMMER's reached out.

Talk about it. This is a safe place to vent.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

It's been 2 weeks since you first posted. Are things better?

We care about you...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Samayouchan said:


> i just want to vanish. maybe die. im so sad and hate my life.


It happens to the best of us.

Have you considered counselling? Therapy?

Remember. We have your back.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

What's wrong?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Samayouchan said:


> i just want to vanish. maybe die. im so sad and hate my life.


How are you doing, I hope OK.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Samayouchan said:


> i just want to vanish. maybe die. im so sad and hate my life.


How's it going, @Samayouchan?

Are you OK? Please let us know how you are. We care about you, because you are a part of the TAM Family.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Samayouchan said:


> i just want to vanish. maybe die. im so sad and hate my life.


More information would really help us help you. I was once feeling like you. I was in combat. My fiancé, my girlfriend of 5 years, was cheating on me and I found out from my best friend. All my plans for the future were gone. When I came home I had PTSD. Got married and my wife fell ill on our honeymoon night and was bedridden for a little more than a year. I was in college and despite working 3 jobs I had to quit to get a full time job. This destroyed the work part of my life. I was in a job I hated. My wife had to be carried to the bathroom and my parents and hers helped while I was at work. 

I once got into my car in my garage and ran the motor hoping to die from Carbon Monoxide. When it was not working I stopped and just cried. Never told anyone this story before, not even my wife of 46 years. I was very depressed and did not want to live anymore. That was the low point of my life. At that point I thought that suicide was always an option so why not just see if I can change my life for the better knowing that I had a way out if not. 

With the help of my doctor who put me on antidepressants, a job change and the recovery of my wife, I felt much better. I remember a few weeks after I started on antidepressants I was driving home on a sunny day and the sky just looked so beautiful with all the white puffy clouds. I smiled and felt a rush of joy pass through my body. Soon after things were much better for me. I am still on antidepressants at the age of 67 but my life turned out great. By changing jobs to something I like to do my income put me in the top 5% of the nation. My wife and I were able to do all the things we wanted to do in life. Our health was pretty good; nothing serious and we have so many good memories. Our love for each other is intense.

Now as I look back I know all that I would have missed had I killed myself. I realize that we all have but a spec in time to enjoy our senses before we do not exist anymore. I would have missed out on a future that at the time, I could not imagine. We have eternity to not exist and how we look at the world and ourselves is due to he chemicals in our brain formed from our experiences. Also our brains can be lacking in chemicals that make us feel good as is the case with me. Getting professional help (I go got a Psychiatrist now) will find a way to balance the chemicals in your brain and once that is done your outlook on life will change. 

When I look back on my life I would not change a thing. I realize that the wonderful life I ended up having is due to not only the good things in my life but also the bad. Get rid of one of the bad things and my life today would not be the same. You basically have to take a long term view and not let the present dictate or be your guide for what your future holds for you. I always keep in mind that depression is in my mind and that there are people much, much worse than me living in both intense physical and mental pain who keep on going and having good lives despise their pain. I refused to accept my life and did all I could to change it and it worked for me. Talking to a Psychologist or Psychiatrist can put your life in perspective that you may be missing right now. You can have a great life but not if you wallow and pity yourself. You have the power to change your life but just need some help like many of us do. Talk to a mental professional as posting on a forum of strangers is not going to solve your problem. Might even make it worse as so many cruel or uncaring people exist online. 

Good luck and if I could make it, so can you. Time does tend to heal all wounds. I lost a cousin to suicide because is is gay. His family and friends accepted him. The problem was that he did not accept himself. His family is rich and he never had to work if he did not want to. He wanted for nothing in life and yet he just did not want to be gay in a world he perceived made for only heterosexual people. Good old religion made him hate who is was. He refused all help and medication and is now dead. All because he could not see beyond his one issue. Get help. Being dead is no fun either and is permanent.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Vinnydee said:


> More information would really help us help you. I was once feeling like you. I was in combat. My fiancé, my* girlfriend of 5 years, was cheating on me and I found out from my best friend. All my plans for the future were gone. When I came home I had PTSD. Got married and my wife fell ill on our honeymoon night and was bedridden for a little more than a year. I was in college and despite working 3 jobs I had to quit to get a full time job. This destroyed the work part of my life. I was in a job I hated. My wife had to be carried to the bathroom and my parents and hers helped while I was at work. *
> 
> I once got into my car in my garage and ran the motor hoping to die from Carbon Monoxide. When it was not working I stopped and just cried. Never told anyone this story before, not even my wife of 46 years. I was very depressed and did not want to live anymore. That was the low point of my life. At that point I thought that suicide was always an option so why not just see if I can change my life for the better knowing that I had a way out if not.
> 
> ...


I'd wondered how at such a young age, you managed all that. Thank you for sharing ALL your story. Hope to OP appreciates and learns.


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