# What made you choose your wife?



## Omego

Hi all! Knock knock on the clubhouse door.
I have a question for the men:
What type of feeling led you to choose your wife above all others? Was the motivation overwhelmingly sexual? (ie. Most attracted to compared to previous partners) or more reasoned (Ie. Same background and interests,etc.). I'm deliberately being schematic here because both feelings are probably involved in lots of cases. A former colleague of mine, for example, said that he had never felt such a powerful attraction for anyone in his life. He had girlfriends similar to his wife in terms of background but never felt like committing until he met her. I kind of loved that story. Thanks for your comments.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ntamph

I would hope that it would be for the reasons that you described. I've always thought that getting to a certain age and then deciding it's time to get married by filtering through peoples' finances/education was wrong. It doesn't seem like genuine attraction to me. But I know these factors are important.


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## movealong

We met through our mutual love of reading. Particularly Stephen King. So, really, her intellect is what drew me to her initially, mainly due to the fact that all of our interactions were on line through a message board similar to this one. Basically it started through discussion of the books/stories, then it went to PM's when there was "trouble" on the board. It progressed to Instant Messaging to talk. Since we lived two states apart it never occurred to me that there would be anything more than an online friendship, until one night when we were IM'ing. Out of the blue she typed, "where is this relationship going?". To say that I was flabbergasted is an understatement. It took about a week to get over the shock, but when I did, I asked to meet her in person. I traveled to a city that was close to her, and she drove up for the day. 

When she arrived and I opened the door to see her in person for the first time, I knew, in that moment, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. 

I would say that it was a combination of her intellect initially, but then seeing her, the physical attraction was dang near overwhelming.


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## Married but Happy

movealong said:


> We met through our mutual love of reading. Particularly Stephen King. So, really, her intellect is what drew me to her initially, mainly due to the fact that all of our interactions were on line through a message board similar to this one. Basically it started through discussion of the books/stories, then it went to PM's when there was "trouble" on the board. It progressed to Instant Messaging to talk. Since we lived two states apart it never occurred to me that there would be anything more than an online friendship, until one night when we were IM'ing. Out of the blue she typed, "where is this relationship going?". To say that I was flabbergasted is an understatement. It took about a week to get over the shock, but when I did, I asked to meet her in person. I traveled to a city that was close to her, and she drove up for the day.
> 
> When she arrived and I opened the door to see her in person for the first time, I knew, in that moment, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
> 
> I would say that it was a combination of her intellect initially, but then seeing her, the physical attraction was dang near overwhelming.


That's a wonderful story!

I met all my best dates and my wife via online dating. I would typically spend a few weeks emailing an IMing before meeting, so I'd already know if the various compatibilities existed (values, intellect, interests, goals, etc.). So, meeting was mainly about the chemistry and physical attraction. As you say, for some it was nearly overwhelming.

Some eventually got weeded out because the compatibility was more superficial, or there were other deal-breakers that only became known later.


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## MicroStorm

Interesting thread. It certainly was not sexual in my case, as my wife was never really that sexual and it wasn't really reasoned on a similar set of interests. This will probably sound bad, but it's honest, so here goes. Mostly it just happened by circumstance. I was deathly ill for a while and after a long recovery I decided I needed to get away from the busy life, focus on myself, and, thus, took a great job at a smaller town. The job was great, the town was okay, the social life was abysmal. The quantity of single women in that town was small and the quality was even smaller.

After meeting a few women I realized that finding a match in that town would be difficult so I went outside of my normal comfort zone. The wife was much different than other women I met before her, but things were stable and pretty good. I never intended to stay with her for long term, but weeks became months and months became years, so we ended up staying together.

Shortly after we met, I began traveling quite a bit for work and though I contemplated splitting with her to live the "single traveling businessman lifestyle", it was nice to have a support system back home so we stayed together. I was helping her through medical residency, and after she finished her training we enjoyed a very nice lifestyle. Eventually we got married and things have been good--not great, but good and I'm content with that.

Sometimes I wonder how life would have been had I not moved to that town. I highly doubt that if I had met my wife in a bigger city with more fish in the sea that I would have stayed with her, but it's hard to say. I think her being a doctor had some influence on my staying with her--not the only influence, but I won't lie, it was a factor.


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## samyeagar

My STBW met on Match.com, and hit it off pretty quickly. We spent a month getting to know each other through email, text, and phone before we met in person. We spent copious amounts of time talking. It never seemed to end.

Part of what took us so long to meet in person was the distance. We live quite far from eachother, in fact, based on our search criteria, neither of us should have turned up for each other on Match .com searches. But we did show up for each other. Over and over again.

We were both very attracted to each other through our conversations. The only question left was the physical chemistry. When we finally met in person, there wasn't just a spark. We set the world on fire. We have been together for over a year now, and our relationship continues to grow stroner every day.


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## Jellybeans

samyeagar said:


> Part of what took us so long to meet in person was the distance. We live quite far from eachother, in fact, based on our search criteria, neither of us should have turned up for each other on Match .com searches. But we did show up for each other. Over and over again.


How far apart did you live from one another? 



movealong said:


> *When she arrived and I opened the door to see her in person for the first time, I knew, in that moment, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. *
> 
> I would say that it was a combination of her intellect initially, but then seeing her, the physical attraction was dang near overwhelming.


Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! What a great story!!! :smthumbup:


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## samyeagar

Jellybeans said:


> How far apart did you live from one another?
> 
> 
> 
> Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! What a great story!!! :smthumbup:


In the grand scheme of things, not as far as others for sure. It was about a two hour drive. What made that difficult for us was that she didn't have a reliable enough car, and I work two hours away in the other direction.

The thing that scared us most about meeting with the distance and circumstances wasn't what would happen if there was no spark, but what would happen if there was....


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## DesertRat1978

I chose my wife because we were such good friends. It seemed like no matter the situation, we got along and wanted one another there. It could be fun or not so fun. Either way, we got along like magic. She also is very attractive. I am a strange guy when it comes to attraction and she fit it perfectly. The flames have since extinguished but that is another story.


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## Married but Happy

My wife found me on match. We lived 100 miles apart.

We had an incredible amount in common. We are both atheists with strong Buddhist tendencies, and share the same ethical views. We are both into martial arts. We both like mostly the same books, are fascinated by science, and both enjoy sci-fi. We share a love of the arts and our musical tastes are complementary. We enjoy dancing - particularly Latin. We also have non-traditional views of relationships. We had both been married to LD spouses, and we were both very HD and still are. We are intensely devoted to each other and always seeking to encourage each other's happiness and personal growth. She is also the prettiest woman I've ever dated. We had to work hard to overcome the distance problem, but it was worth it!


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## bbird1

Omego said:


> Hi all! Knock knock on the clubhouse door.
> I have a question for the men:
> *What type of feeling led you to choose your wife above all others?
> *Well we thought alike of matters like kids, finances, marriage, god and so much more. She is a bright and articulate woman with a heart of gold and a strong will. These are the feelings i got from her and my gut was right.
> 
> *Was the motivation overwhelmingly sexual?*
> For me no. My attraction to be honest was her honesty, her strength and she remained vulnerable and sensitive. She was, is and ever shall be a total class act.
> 
> (ie. Most attracted to compared to previous partners) or more reasoned (Ie. Same background and interests,etc.). I'm deliberately being schematic here because both feelings are probably involved in lots of cases. A former colleague of mine, for example, said that he had never felt such a powerful attraction for anyone in his life. He had girlfriends similar to his wife in terms of background but never felt like committing until he met her. I kind of loved that story. Thanks for your comments.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My wife and I spent much time talking. We traded letters as pen pals even when we saw each other everyday. I actually never told her though she knows me and probably already knows it. I saved every letter she has ever sent me. They are sorted by date and I've scanned them and save them on my laptop as well. (For when I am deployed our on maneuvers, drills or times we were miles apart.

My wife proved then to have a heart f pure gold, wisdom of the ancients and the compassion of an angel. I knew then as now she is the single most important person in my life and she has changed my life and blessed it in so many ways. She has given me three beautiful children and has been a strong and steady partner in my life.

When you look for a mate please look deeper than physical beauty. While my wife is physically beautiful that was not the reason I feel for her. It may have had something to do with me asking for that dance, then her number for a date. But her inner beauty is what took my breath away. We spent the next year talking about everything, our hopes, dreams, our past and what we want in the future. Then I was deployed for the first time and she began writing me daily. I wrote a reply daily too. Her letters brought me so much joy and to me they were a piece of heaven. She would put a little perfume on each letter and sealed them with a kiss. I even opened the envelopes to not disturb the perfectly placed lip marks. I remember so many memories of then and each and every memory has built on top of those.

Look for someone religiously in line with yourself, mentally comparable, and similar core values. Look for a partner who will make you her equal and be yours in all things that matter to you. This does not mean she likes football! But that she shares some common interests and life goals.


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## Fozzy

My wife and I just clicked for the most part--personality wise. It's not unusual for us to be watching a movie in silence, someone will come on the screen and I already know she's trying to figure out what movie she's seen them in, and I'll just say the name of the movie. She'll just say thank you and we go back to watching the movie.

That's the kind of thing that made me want to marry her.


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## Omego

Interesting replies!

*ntamph-* I agree. Too bad things don't always work out this way! A friend of mine recently referred to what you describe as a 'cynical approach to love'.

*Movealong, Samyeager and Married but Hopeful* - I love your stories! It's true that you could conceivably have lots in common in the virtual world but absolutely no chemistry. You were among the lucky ones.

*Tyler1978, bbird, fozzy* - This is what everyone hopes for. What you are describing is really the definition of 'soul mate' I suppose. In these sorts of relationships fundamental, deal-breaking conflicts which could lead to divorce would be practically non existent.

*Microstorm* - Your story struck a chord with me. I could describe my first marriage similarly. But in your case it sounds like there is enough common ground to sustain a happy marriage.


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## azteca1986

Omego said:


> Hi all! Knock knock on the clubhouse door.
> I have a question for the men:
> What type of feeling led you to choose your wife above all others? Was the motivation overwhelmingly sexual?


My wife has sex appeal (I'm not convinced she's fully aware of it - which is kind of endearing). She was in a 5 1/5 year LTR (engaged) and therefore strictly off-limits in my book when we met at work. You can't help you find attractive, but there was definite mutual attraction. 

I'd say though it's no where near the most important factor when choosing your wife, some element of sexual attraction is useful/vital if you're going to take the 'forsaking all others' part of your marriage vows seriously.

Obvious stuff:
Having the same values, principles and vision of the future is crucial when picking a life partner. Laugh together, etc

Less obvious:

*Travel*
Even if your prospective wife hasn't been lucky enough to travel, her attitude to travel will tell you something about her. Yes, we know travel broadens the horizon's - it also means she's open to new experiences and difference. Open-minded in a word. Sit in a café in Paris and enjoy watching the world go by. You'll initially be struck by national differences, but look closer and you'll see the commonalities. The ability to appreciate that two individuals can have different opinions and still be on the same page will hold you in good stead in a marriage.

*How do you both like to spend your free time?
*I one of you would choose clubbing in Ibiza and the other would prefer an early morning game drive on the Maasai Mara, you might have a problem. I think having compatible ideas on leisure time is pretty important.Thankfully my wife and I are equally comfortable doing both. 

I wouldn't have bothered getting married if I didn't want to have children. I wish I could be more helpful on _how_ I knew my wife would make a good mother. But I knew she would be. And she is. She' very compassionate - not the whole story, but it helps.

*Homer*
_There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends._


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## Caribbean Man

My wife and I were friends for years before we started together.

What made me choose her was that she always had my best interest at heart even though we were not romantically involved.

I always suspected that she had some sort of feelings for me based on the closeness of our friendship. 
We used to talk for hours.
But deep down inside I knew that if ever I wanted to get married, she would be the one I'd choose.
Fortunately, deep down inside. she felt the same way about me ,but was just too afraid to tell me.


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## Stonewall

I have been accused (with some degree of truth) of being over analytically inclined. I have thought about this before and my conclusion is that while we are similar in likes we are quite different in personality types. I would say we are 180 degrees from each other. I think in some sense i choose her not only because I love her but because she possessed qualities that I did not have. 

I think I also saw some things that needed fixing and my personality type has a tendency to latch onto those who need fixing. I'm sure some will take that as a put down to her but it is not.


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## zookeeper

She needed me. I needed to be needed.


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## happyman64

Great question.

I walked into the school library and saw this beautiful girl with tight Bongo jeans talking a mile a minute and thought she's hot.

I wouldn't mind her being the mother of my kids. I laughed to myself.

I was working days/school at nights and never saw her again.

I decided to go on a school trip to hawai with some friends and on the plane was this girl with some of her friends.

On the way home the plane was delayed due to weather so I got her name and number.

I took her on our first date to Windows of the World on top of the Trade Center.

She had this not so feminine voice and did not shut up or take a breath for 3 hours straight.

I knew at that moment I could listen to her talk for the rest of my life and I have....


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## Omego

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife and I were friends for years before we started together.
> 
> What made me choose her was that she always had my best interest at heart even though we were not romantically involved.
> 
> I always suspected that she had some sort of feelings for me based on the closeness of our friendship.
> We used to talk for hours.
> But deep down inside I knew that if ever I wanted to get married, she would be the one I'd choose.
> Fortunately, deep down inside. she felt the same way about me ,but was just too afraid to tell me.


Sounds like the kind of relationship we all hope for when we're young and thinking about romantic involvement! You're one of the lucky ones. I would assume arguments are few and far between and that you do not have communication problems.


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## WyshIknew

Well my wife often says she chose me.

So I say "You make it sound as though I had no choice."

She just grins.


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## Clark G

First time around - it was the moment she walked into the door - we worked together and I was new. I was done in that instant. I don't know why and can't explain it but that was the case. From there I gently and subtly flirted as did she which led me to ask her to a concert and we hit it off from there. We ended up marrying quick and eventually divorced after a decade.

This next time around? Well this was a woman who I had known for a long time - since college but never talked to much. We hit it off on our first date and ever since she has let me be me - which is what i need. In addition she is highly sexual so I can remove that filter, a ton of fun, a great mom, and a perfect fit for me and my son's lifestyle.

Joe


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## Omego

Clark G said:


> First time around - it was the moment she walked into the door - we worked together and I was new. I was done in that instant. I don't know why and can't explain it but that was the case. From there I gently and subtly flirted as did she which led me to ask her to a concert and we hit it off from there. We ended up marrying quick and eventually divorced after a decade.
> 
> This next time around? Well this was a woman who I had known for a long time - since college but never talked to much. We hit it off on our first date and ever since she has let me be me - which is what i need. In addition she is highly sexual so I can remove that filter, a ton of fun, a great mom, and a perfect fit for me and my son's lifestyle.
> 
> Joe


This is interesting. Your first marriage sounds like what one describes as 'love at first sight'. In terms of chemistry, and by this I mean pure attraction, do you feel that there is a 1st choice and a 2nd choice between your ex-wife and current wife?

I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here. During my teenage years, I always heard: "There are girls you marry and those you don't". I also heard "If you behave in such and such a way, you will never get married", etc. etc.

I remember my father mentioning a past girlfriend by saying "oh well, that was just for some fun". He is quite old, so obviously things may have changed somewhat, but I'm not really sure they have....

In my mind, it would have been better to be the fun, attractive girlfriend AND to be chosen for marriage as well. It seemed as though he was equating marriage with boredom, to tell you the truth....

That is probably why I started this post. One of my worst nightmares would be to be chosen because the man wanted to "settle down". Excitement=past girlfriends. Stability=wife


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## okeydokie

Because she was the exact opposite of what she is now


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## brokenbythis

Omego said:


> This is interesting. Your first marriage sounds like what one describes as 'love at first sight'. In terms of chemistry, and by this I mean pure attraction, do you feel that there is a 1st choice and a 2nd choice between your ex-wife and current wife?
> 
> I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here. During my teenage years, I always heard: "There are girls you marry and those you don't". I also heard "If you behave in such and such a way, you will never get married", etc. etc.
> 
> I remember my father mentioning a past girlfriend by saying "oh well, that was just for some fun". He is quite old, so obviously things may have changed somewhat, but I'm not really sure they have....
> 
> In my mind, it would have been better to be the fun, attractive girlfriend AND to be chosen for marriage as well. It seemed as though he was equating marriage with boredom, to tell you the truth....
> 
> That is probably why I started this post. One of my worst nightmares would be to be chosen because the man wanted to "settle down". Excitement=past girlfriends. Stability=wife


Your worst nightmare is also mine and has come true. Through confessions to the marriage counselor and finding his journals I discovered he married me because he thought it "was time to get married". The true "perfect" love of his life had married someone else (she had never been interested in him romantically). Not nice to be the one someone settled for just so he could fit into society's norms.


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## lfortender

I met my wife when i was engaged with my ex girlfriend, i did the right choice to end my engagement and date my current wife today. Sometimes i regret my marriage but if wasnt for her, or better, GOd, i was in a horrible life. Marriage is tough but with comunication and praying we can overcome many trials.


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## Dad&Hubby

Omego said:


> Hi all! Knock knock on the clubhouse door.
> I have a question for the men:
> What type of feeling led you to choose your wife above all others? Was the motivation overwhelmingly sexual? (ie. Most attracted to compared to previous partners) or more reasoned (Ie. Same background and interests,etc.). I'm deliberately being schematic here because both feelings are probably involved in lots of cases. A former colleague of mine, for example, said that he had never felt such a powerful attraction for anyone in his life. He had girlfriends similar to his wife in terms of background but never felt like committing until he met her. I kind of loved that story. Thanks for your comments.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The FIRST thing?

Her a$$ in THOSE JEANS when we went bowling on our first date and the sexual chemistry we shared.

Seriously though, our first date felt like we had been dating for over a year. I felt more comfortable with her after one date than I EVER felt with me exW. 

I was 100% me, She was 100% her, we were both tired of dating games and both had the attitude of "This is me, like it or not, lets not pretend". And we just CLICKED!! I loved her and thought I could marry her on our third date.


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## ILoveMyWife!

Nice thread.
I was initially attracted to my wife by the following.
She is beautiful
We got along right off the bat
She didnt have sex with me right off the bat
She has the same morals as I do
We wanted the same things out of life marriage, kids, family etc.
We love holidays
We like the same music and majority of movies
The way she was taking care of me and her cooking and baking
We were both 150% sexually compatible
We had lots of fun and also enjoyed doing nothing
We were who we are to one another
She was super affectionate with me and I loved it
She is who she is, awesome and my soulmate


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## heartsbeating

I love reading these responses!

My husband and I met through our love of music. We spoke a few times first without knowing what each other looked like. Initially we were mutually attracted by voice/accents and personality. He's told me since that it was my independence and attitude that really got him. Which is exactly what I dug about him. We met once briefly, then bumped into each other again while out one night. It was a quick hello and hug, and I kissed him on the cheek. We both remember that. It seemed to be the night when the physical spark ignited between us and his approach became more direct. 

Our first date was lunch, which turned into an all-day/evening event. In the afternoon he had a couple of errands to run (like picking up dry-cleaning) and we did that together, chatting the whole time, enjoying music, then we continued to dinner and a movie before he drove me home. About a month into us dating, he had the chance to go back to his home-country. I knew that might happen. He decided to stay because he didn't want to risk losing what was developing between us. That was 18 years ago. We related on many levels.


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## soulseer

She was/is hot . She excited me to be around. Her gentle nature , her loving touch. We shared a lot of the same interests.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hambone

I met my wife through a co-worker.

I was legally separated and she told me she had a friend she wanted me to meet. I had just gotten out of an absolutely miserable marriage. And was absolutely not looking for a wife. In fact, I never intended to every remarry.

Upon laying eyes on my future wife.. I did a double take. She was really cute.... and shy.... a little embarrassed. 

We went dancing... and had a great time. I even had the girl that walked around with that camera take a picture of us for $5. 

It was just so comfortable. She was so easy going. And she laughed a LOT. Her laugh was infectious. 

I rapidly fell in love. Head over heels in love. 

Then... the heartbreak. She had been legally separated from her husband for over a year. Our first date was Jan. 17th. One May 5th... she reconciled with her husband. I was devastated. 

I loved her every way you can think of. I loved everything about her. She was so perfect, for me.

Her reconciliation lasted about 2.5 years. I dated other people in the meantime. Even lived with a girl for a while but my heart belonged to her. Nobody has ever made me feel like she did... on every level... physically, emotionally, etc. etc.

We have everything in common. We just don't have any areas of disagreement. Money, religion, politics, child rearing, etc. etc. 

Our love is so strong.. we don't have turf wars.. We don't play tit for tat. We are truly partners. 

We love each other, we trust each other... we have no secrets... we talk about everything. I LOVE being with my wife. 

Not only do we love each other... we LIKE each other. I retired at 45. My wife has always been a housewife. We spend a lot of time together and I've never once felt like I needed a break. 

My wife loves being a wife and mom. I asked her what she wanted to be when she was little and she said, "a mommy". I pressed her, "Teacher? nurse? etc". And she insisted that she always wanted to be a mommy. And she's darn good at it. 

We respect each other. We never embarrass each other. We have a deal... If I ask her to go do something with me... and she really doesn't want to go... I can say, "This is really important to me... I really want you to go". and she will... AND Visa Versa!!!

We do not have to work at our marriage. And to top it off and to complete our family.. we have 2 great kids... S21 and D18. 

If you have a great marriage.... kids complete it.


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## Omego

brokenbythis said:


> Your worst nightmare is also mine and has come true. Through confessions to the marriage counselor and finding his journals I discovered he married me because he thought it "was time to get married". The true "perfect" love of his life had married someone else (she had never been interested in him romantically). Not nice to be the one someone settled for just so he could fit into society's norms.


That's a hard thing to find out. Your consolation could be however that he never had a relationship with this person. So there's no nostalgia because there are no shared memories, so you're only a virtual "second best". I hope you will find happiness in your marriage in spite of this.....


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## Omego

hambone said:


> I met my wife through a co-worker.
> 
> I was legally separated and she told me she had a friend she wanted me to meet. I had just gotten out of an absolutely miserable marriage. And was absolutely not looking for a wife. In fact, I never intended to every remarry.
> 
> Upon laying eyes on my future wife.. I did a double take. She was really cute.... and shy.... a little embarrassed.
> 
> We went dancing... and had a great time. I even had the girl that walked around with that camera take a picture of us for $5.
> 
> It was just so comfortable. She was so easy going. And she laughed a LOT. Her laugh was infectious.
> 
> I rapidly fell in love. Head over heels in love.
> 
> Then... the heartbreak. She had been legally separated from her husband for over a year. Our first date was Jan. 17th. One May 5th... she reconciled with her husband. I was devastated.
> 
> I loved her every way you can think of. I loved everything about her. She was so perfect, for me.
> 
> Her reconciliation lasted about 2.5 years. I dated other people in the meantime. Even lived with a girl for a while but my heart belonged to her. Nobody has ever made me feel like she did... on every level... physically, emotionally, etc. etc.
> 
> We have everything in common. We just don't have any areas of disagreement. Money, religion, politics, child rearing, etc. etc.
> 
> Our love is so strong.. we don't have turf wars.. We don't play tit for tat. We are truly partners.
> 
> We love each other, we trust each other... we have no secrets... we talk about everything. I LOVE being with my wife.
> 
> Not only do we love each other... we LIKE each other. I retired at 45. My wife has always been a housewife. We spend a lot of time together and I've never once felt like I needed a break.
> 
> My wife loves being a wife and mom. I asked her what she wanted to be when she was little and she said, "a mommy". I pressed her, "Teacher? nurse? etc". And she insisted that she always wanted to be a mommy. And she's darn good at it.
> 
> We respect each other. We never embarrass each other. We have a deal... If I ask her to go do something with me... and she really doesn't want to go... I can say, "This is really important to me... I really want you to go". and she will... AND Visa Versa!!!
> 
> We do not have to work at our marriage. And to top it off and to complete our family.. we have 2 great kids... S21 and D18.
> 
> If you have a great marriage.... kids complete it.


WOW!! Great story. Especially the separation and coming back to each other later.... Very romantic!!!


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## Wiserforit

I wrote down a list of must-haves and dealbreakers. 

Then I followed it.


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## committed_guy

Omego said:


> What type of feeling led you to choose your wife above all others? Was the motivation overwhelmingly sexual?


I was incredibly lonely at the time and this cute girl couldn't keep her hands out of my pants. Enough said. It wasn't just sexual but that played a huge part in me pursue the relationship. She used sex to bring me in. We became good friends too and participated in many non-sexual activities but for me being early 20's having a girl sexually attractive to me is what was most important to me at the time.


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## john117

By and large, our difference in culture (European me, Central Asian her) was my reason... I was determined to date an Asian .

Overwhelmingly sexual? no, not really. She was a looker back then, still is 30 years later, but I'm not difficult to please. I've never been a looker (think Bilbo Baggins meets Kris Jenner :rofl

Common interests? none. Absolutely none. Other than that we both spent more than a dozen years each in college.

Compatible personalities? nope. I'm still mentally a teenager, she's well past middle age. She was very wealthy in her home country, I was dirt poor. She's a simple personality, I could probably give Machiavelli a run for his money.

Happy? for 25 of 30 years, yes. We had some good times, some bad, two great daughters, etc. But five years ago was the tipping point where the scale turned sour.


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## Cee Paul

I though she was pretty, very smart, has a good heart, and a good sense of humor - 8+ years ago.

Now as of today she is still all of those things but I found out she has a very bad temper, has terrible OCD, is very bossy and demanding, has little interest in sex, and doesn't laugh and have a good time like she did the first few years.


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