# Stay or leave



## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

Need advice or encouragement.

10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


Why would you ask if you should trust your husband? You already know the answer. You do not. That's just where you are right now, and from what you've written, it makes sense not to trust him. Best thing to do right now is figure out, if he is carrying on an affair, what will you do about it? Do that before doing the detective work, because things can get clouded up down the road, and right now, you're in a position to make a reasonable decision about your life. Once you get into discovery stage and your husband is gas-lighting you and you start wondering what's true and what isn't, things get murky.

So, decide what you're going to do if it turns out he is having an affair, and then go into stealth detective mode. Don't let on that you're tracking him, listening in on him. Learn about voice activated recorders and where to place them (lots of advice on that here on TAM). And when (because it's probably when, not if) your fears are confirmed, talk to a lawyer, and find out what your options are.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I would gather evidence and seek legal counsel. But, I’m leaning towards he’s likely cheating again and think about what life will look like on your own.

Unfortunately, staying means having to turn a blind eye to his infidelity. It doesn’t sound like he’s capable of being faithful. It’s sad that you’ve trusted him over and over and he didn’t strive to do better.  (But, gather evidence to be 100% certain)


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Should you trust your serial cheating husband? What do you think?


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

Gonna be blunt: it just sounds like you're the outsider while they're the married couple. 

You already caught him twice. Third time's just a pattern at that point. Make of that what you will. But consider that this will probably happen many more times since he's seemingly had no repercussions.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Leave. I can’t imagine why you would want to put yourself through this repeating pattern of behavior. Leave. Easier said than done, sure. But where does this cycle of bs stop? I would say it stops right freakin’ now. You don’t even need another reason.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Leave.


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

Casual Observer said:


> Why would you ask if you should trust your husband? You already know the answer. You do not. That's just where you are right now, and from what you've written, it makes sense not to trust him. Best thing to do right now is figure out, if he is carrying on an affair, what will you do about it? Do that before doing the detective work, because things can get clouded up down the road, and right now, you're in a position to make a reasonable decision about your life. Once you get into discovery stage and your husband is gas-lighting you and you start wondering what's true and what isn't, things get murky.
> 
> So, decide what you're going to do if it turns out he is having an affair, and then go into stealth detective mode. Don't let on that you're tracking him, listening in on him. Learn about voice activated recorders and where to place them (lots of advice on that here on TAM). And when (because it's probably when, not if) your fears are confirmed, talk to a lawyer, and find out what your options are.





Casual Observer said:


> Why would you ask if you should trust your husband? You already know the answer. You do not. That's just where you are right now, and from what you've written, it makes sense not to trust him. Best thing to do right now is figure out, if he is carrying on an affair, what will you do about it? Do that before doing the detective work, because things can get clouded up down the road, and right now, you're in a position to make a reasonable decision about your life. Once you get into discovery stage and your husband is gas-lighting you and you start wondering what's true and what isn't, things get murky.
> 
> So, decide what you're going to do if it turns out he is having an affair, and then go into stealth detective mode. Don't let on that you're tracking him, listening in on him. Learn about voice activated recorders and where to place them (lots of advice on that here on TAM). And when (because it's probably when, not if) your fears are confirmed, talk to a lawyer, and find out what your options are.





Casual Observer said:


> Why would you ask if you should trust your husband? You already know the answer. You do not. That's just where you are right now, and from what you've written, it makes sense not to trust him. Best thing to do right now is figure out, if he is carrying on an affair, what will you do about it? Do that before doing the detective work, because things can get clouded up down the road, and right now, you're in a position to make a reasonable decision about your life. Once you get into discovery stage and your husband is gas-lighting you and you start wondering what's true and what isn't, things get murky.
> 
> So, decide what you're going to do if it turns out he is having an affair, and then go into stealth detective mode. Don't let on that you're tracking him, listening in on him. Learn about voice activated recorders and where to place them (lots of advice on that here on TAM). And when (because it's probably when, not if) your fears are confirmed, talk to a lawyer, and find out what your options are.


I don’t know what I would do if I found out he’s having an affair. I wouldn’t want to put my kids (age 4 and 6) through a divorce. We’ve done counseling in the past and I feel like it was helpful. Counseling is where I found out how and why he cheated both times. He said he felt neglected after we had our second, our sex life was nonexistent. We recently suffered the loss of our third child. I feel like the pregnancy and even the loss has brought us closer. He’s too smart to let me catch him. He has two phones one for work. In the past social media is how he’s committed with his child’s mother. He’s no longer on any social media


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

*Deidre* said:


> I would gather evidence and seek legal counsel. But, I’m leaning towards he’s likely cheating again and think about what life will look like on your own.
> 
> Unfortunately, staying means having to turn a blind eye to his infidelity. It doesn’t sound like he’s capable of being faithful. It’s sad that you’ve trusted him over and over and he didn’t strive to do better.  (But, gather evidence to be 100% certain)





*Deidre* said:


> I would gather evidence and seek legal counsel. But, I’m leaning towards he’s likely cheating again and think about what life will look like on your own.
> 
> Unfortunately, staying means having to turn a blind eye to his infidelity. It doesn’t sound like he’s capable of being faithful. It’s sad that you’ve trusted him over and over and he didn’t strive to do better.  (But, gather evidence to be 100% certain)





BeyondRepair007 said:


> Leave. I can’t imagine why you would want to put yourself through this repeating pattern of behavior. Leave. Easier said than done, sure. But where does this cycle of bs stop? I would say it stops right freakin’ now. You don’t even need another reason.


I’ve stayed for my kids. They don’t deserve to see their parents split up. They are too young. He’s a great father but a horrible partner


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Silver519 said:


> I’ve stayed for my kids. They don’t deserve to see their parents split up. They are too young. He’s a great father but a horrible partner


Do they deserve to grow up with unhappy parents as their model for what marriage should be? Would you counsel them to stay in their future-marriage if it were like yours?


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## jparistotle (Jul 10, 2018)

Would not hurt to start seeing a lawyer to know what your options are and the best way to protect your kids. Do it for your own sanity. Do not discuss it with him.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

You knew that your fiancé was a cheat and you decided to marry him anyway. Then, knowing he was a cheater, you decided to have babies with him. Now with babies in the house, you're thinking about destroying their home and leaving your husband. Do I have this right? Sorry, but this is on you. You made these decisions and now you have to live with the consequences. Do the right thing and stay in it for the sake of your children. They don't deserve to have their home broken because you made poor choices. You are stuck until your youngest turns 18, then if you want to leave, do so.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Only you know whether you should stay in your marriage but you absolutely cannot ever trust this lying cheater again. 

This isn't on you. You don't have to stay for the sake of the children. Understand though if you stay it will be in the context that you will have an open marriage: you, him & her. He's never going to stop with her. If that is the life you will accept, well that is your choice.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Silver519 said:


> I’ve stayed for my kids. They don’t deserve to see their parents split up. They are too young. He’s a great father but a horrible partner


I was 8 when my parents divorced because of infidelity, so a little older than your oldest. I turned out okay, and more importantly, I knew exactly what was going on between my parents. Your kids are going to see what is happening between you and your husband sooner rather than later, if they haven't started to pick up on it already. You said you have "speculations" that they are at it again, can you elaborate?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Silver519 said:


> I don’t know what I would do if I found out he’s having an affair. I wouldn’t want to put my kids (age 4 and 6) through a divorce. We’ve done counseling in the past and I feel like it was helpful. Counseling is where I found out how and why he cheated both times. He said he felt neglected after we had our second, our sex life was nonexistent. We recently suffered the loss of our third child. I feel like the pregnancy and even the loss has brought us closer. He’s too smart to let me catch him. He has two phones one for work. In the past social media is how he’s committed with his child’s mother. He’s no longer on any social media


HE felt neglected -- is NO EXCUSE for cheating on you. He should have come to YOU and talked it through to find a solution -- you know, like dedicated partners do.
The fact that he isn't on social media has NO bearing now if he is cheating with her.

Your kids are pretty young. If you divorce, you will show them that accepting poor behavior from a spouse/partner isn't acceptable. It would be a good life lesson (and they won't understand now, but they will when they get older).


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

No of course you shouldn't trust him. If you must stay with a liar and cheat there must be a way you can agree on maybe you or a third party collecting the child and you going along to any school events as well. 
He basically has 2 partners. Sadly you shouldn't have married this guy, having a baby with another woman while you were engaged was the biggest red flag you could find. 
Then he cheated again and probably has been throughout. If you want to stay in a marriage where you are sharing him with another woman that's up to you, personally that is a massive deal breaker to me. 

I appreciate you have small children, but some people just can't ever be trusted.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Silver519 said:


> Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


Always easier said than done, believe me, I've been there.

But you should not trust him. You forgave him, accepted his child. He should be on his damn knees grateful he has such an understanding wife.

But no, he goes off and screws his baby mama. He doesn't deserve you and you will never be able to trust him. IMO, you should get your affairs in order. Consult an attorney without his knowledge, if possible, and get what you are entitled to and get out. Let his skank have him and once he is with her for a while and gets bored, he'll be doing the same thing to her with a different woman.

Free yourself. That's just my opinion.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


You should leave.

He knows he can cheat because there are no consequences when he does.

You need to work on standing up for yourself.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


My goodness, why did you go forward with the marriage. Him getting another woman pregnant should have been an instant deal breaker. Now you’re deeply interconnected with this man who will not stop hooking up with his ex. Trust your gut; If it’s telling you he is at it again, then it’s most likely true. 

Is she married or with a live in boyfriend? If so, expose it to him. She’s F’ing with your family, let her deal with the drama of what she’s causing. Being a SAHM only works if he’s a man who’s 100% on team @Silver519 . If he’s thinks that because he’s paying all the bills , he can F around, then you can’t allow yourself to be so dependent on such a man.


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## olk (Aug 17, 2021)

He doesn't deserve your trust. He is not a real Man, but a liar and a betrayer. Even if they don't have an affair now, the risk of it resuming will remain until one of them dies. There's nothing you can do about it unless you agree to polygamy (like in a harem). Leave him while you're still young, gain life, not a cheater.


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

Captain Obvious said:


> I was 8 when my parents divorced because of infidelity, so a little older than your oldest. I turned out okay, and more importantly, I knew exactly what was going on between my parents. Your kids are going to see what is happening between you and your husband sooner rather than later, if they haven't started to pick up on it already. You said you have "speculations" that they are at it again, can you elaborate?


I am very careful about what we discuss around our children, they have no idea. We attend church every week as a family, dinners, vacations, etc. I suspect something is going on because he’s started to visit his child more often during the week, such as having lunch with his son, attending more events. The issue is his son and sons mother live an hour away from us. So when he leaves he’s gone for an extended period of time. He shares his location with me and dose random check-ins so I know where he is.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Have you had boundary discussions? I mean serious, spend some time with a therapist together sessions? There needs to be clearly understood limits and consequences.


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> No of course you shouldn't trust him. If you must stay with a liar and cheat there must be a way you can agree on maybe you or a third party collecting the child and you going along to any school events as well.
> He basically has 2 partners. Sadly you shouldn't have married this guy, having a baby with another woman while you were engaged was the biggest red flag you could find.
> Then he cheated again and probably has been throughout. If you want to stay in a marriage where you are sharing him with another woman that's up to you, personally that is a massive deal breaker to me.
> 
> I appreciate you have small children, but some people just can't ever be trusted.


Me and the childs mother don’t get along and I’d rather not involve anyone else. The child and his mother live an hour away.My husband works remotely so is easier for him to pick up his child.

He says that there nothing between them and it was all about sex.


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> My goodness, why did you go forward with the marriage. Him getting another woman pregnant should have been an instant deal breaker. Now you’re deeply interconnected with this man who will not stop hooking up with his ex. Trust your gut; If it’s telling you he is at it again, then it’s most likely true.
> 
> Is she married or with a live in boyfriend? If so, expose it to him. She’s F’ing with your family, let her deal with the drama of what she’s causing. Being a SAHM only works if he’s a man who’s 100% on team @Silver519 . If he’s thinks that because he’s paying all the bills , he can F around, then you can’t allow yourself to be so dependent on such a man.


I went ahead with the marriage because we were in the middle of planning our wedding when he told me about the child. He kept denying the child and said he wasnt going to be involved. I was embarrassed for my family to find out. I honestly thought we would have to deal with the issues after we got married

She isn’t married and no boyfriend. She has don’t that to me. She has let all of our family and friends know he’s cheated again. I’m not a SAHM, I work too. He just takes care of the bills and makes sure we are very comfortable.


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## Silver519 (9 mo ago)

Casual Observer said:


> Have you had boundary discussions? I mean serious, spend some time with a therapist together sessions? There needs to be clearly understood limits and consequences.


We’ve been to counseling twice.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Silver519 said:


> Me and the childs mother don’t get along and I’d rather not involve anyone else. The child and his mother live an hour away.My husband works remotely so is easier for him to pick up his child.
> 
> He says that there nothing between them and it was all about sex.


That last line. Isn’t that one of the first three in the cheater’s handbook? She didn’t mean anything, I don’t love her, it’s just sex? With an implication the sex isn’t good enough in the marriage?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Silver519 said:


> I am very careful about what we discuss around our children, they have no idea. We attend church every week as a family, dinners, vacations, etc. I suspect something is going on because he’s started to visit his child more often during the week, such as having lunch with his son, attending more events. The issue is his son and sons mother live an hour away from us. So when he leaves he’s gone for an extended period of time. He shares his location with me and dose random check-ins so I know where he is.


'It was just sex'. Good grief.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Silver519 said:


> We’ve been to counseling twice.


But were boundaries and consequences discussed?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Your question was stay or leave. Were you hoping posters would tell you to stay — because it seems you’re coming up with “reasons” why leaving doesn’t work?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Silver519 said:


> I went ahead with the marriage because we were in the middle of planning our wedding when he told me about the child. He kept denying the child and said he wasnt going to be involved. I was embarrassed for my family to find out. I honestly thought we would have to deal with the issues after we got married
> 
> She isn’t married and no boyfriend. She has don’t that to me. She has let all of our family and friends know he’s cheated again. I’m not a SAHM, I work too. He just takes care of the bills and makes sure we are very comfortable.


Going forward with the wedding because you can’t get a refund on a service, the invites were already sent, or even just fear of what people will say was such a big mistake. I know you have 2 beautiful children that came from this marriage, and would not want think of this Union as a mistake but this man has shown you through his actions that he doesn’t respect you. That he has continued hook up with his baby momma and that she’s not involved with anyone tells me they have an unofficial relationship. 

Was the fact that he is high income earner A factor in your willingness to go forward with the wedding? It could not have been that he told you he wouldn’t be involved in the child’s life? That would be a sign that he’s a scoundrel. It’s actually good that he’s involved in the kids life but he doesn’t have to have a relationship with her.


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

> He shares his location with me and dose random check-ins so I know where he is.


Well that's rather moot now, isn't it? He's still cheating.

Don't let your kids grow up thinking that this model of a marriage/relationship is normal/healthy. Kids are more perceptive than you think.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


Just because they have a child together doesn’t mean they have to have contact.
From what you’ve posted it seems like you’ve accepted being married to a cake eating cheater. 
This was your choice. You are staying in this because you choose to. What’s changed?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Silver519 said:


> Me and the childs mother don’t get along and I’d rather not involve anyone else. The child and his mother live an hour away.My husband works remotely so is easier for him to pick up his child.
> 
> He says that there nothing between them and it was all about sex.


😂😂😂. Cheaters lie a lot. That’s the one thing you should know by now.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Silver519 said:


> Me and the childs mother don’t get along and I’d rather not involve anyone else. The child and his mother live an hour away.My husband works remotely so is easier for him to pick up his child.
> 
> He says that there nothing between them and it was all about sex.


Here's the thing -- he should have custody of his child and NOT be spending time with the mother.
When it's his turn -- he gets the child and goes somewhere WITH HIM -- not the mother being included.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

My advice is to find the best cut throat divorce lawyer and nail him to the wall.

Hugs.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


No brainer. Get your ass out.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Silver519 said:


> _*I went ahead with the marriage because we were in the middle of planning our wedding when he told me about the child. *_



So what? Big deal - you were "in the middle" of planning your wedding. Big deal! That's a *lousy* excuse for making such POOR choices. You stayed with him because you WANTED to, so you lowered your expectations *down to the floor* and disregarded every single boundary you ever had just to hold onto this scumbag at all costs.

At LEAST own your bad choices and stop acting like planning your wedding "locked" you into staying with Prince Charming, because it didn't.

NOT surprisingly, here you are actually wondering if Husband of the Year could be up to no good. 

You can go to counseling 5,834 times and it *ain't gonna matter*. You married a SERIAL CHEATER. Do you know what he's going to be in 5 years or 10 years or 15 years? *A SERIAL CHEATER*.

Save your money. Most therapists are quacks on a good day but you're throwing your money away if you think some therapist is going to suddenly make your low life husband into a decent human being. That ship sailed LONG ago and it ain't coming back.

I hope one day you finally open your eyes to this guy. Until then, I guess you'll just continue to self-delude and use your kids as an excuse to hold onto him like grim death. Good luck to you.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Some problems have no good solution.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Oh I see! This guy has two women and two families. I always wondered how the hell that kind of thing happened… All he had to do was knock them both up so the children could be used as pawns and convenient excuses… and when he gets tired of one family, off he runs to the other.

Sounds like a wonderful and doting “father”, this man that puts his d*ck first at all times. But hey… at least he’s such a great provider and none of them is on welfare. It all sounds like a dream come true.


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## One Eighty (Apr 30, 2018)

The thing that bothers me about your story is that you have all this history with him, you know him, yet you still think that somehow he is going to change. That is not realistic. That is putting your head in the sand. 

If you can be realistic and just accept the fact that he will never be faithful, then if you decide to stay, there is nothing wrong with that choice. Its your life. You decide if this relationship is acceptable to you. If you let your husband know that you are ok with this arrangement then it no longer becomes caricaturized as cheating. Its just an open relationship. He can be honest with you about what he does. 

Would he be ok with you having a lover on the side?


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Silver519 said:


> Need advice or encouragement.
> 
> 10 years ago my fiancé (now husband) cheated which resulted in him getting another woman pregnant. I forgave him and we got married. I excepted his child and treat her well. My husband is very involved with his child so he and the child’s mother are in constant contact. Two years ago I found out my husband and his child’s mother were having an affair, again. To my knowledge this went on for years before I found out. Again, I forgave him because we have kids together. He is also the breadwinner and a great provider financially. Lately I have speculations that my husband and his child’s mother are still seeing each other. I haven’t asked but I know my husband would nev confess or admit it. Their child together is older but they often attend doctor appointments and school functions together, without me. Should I trust my husband and stay in my marriage or leave?


Dump him


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## SnowToArmPits (Jan 2, 2016)

I think you'd be wise to lower your dependence on him.
You need to get a job.
You should talk to a lawyer to understand if divorce needs to be your future, you understand the basics and have an understanding of what life might be like.
I think he's a sh*t, I think you want to be careful thinking the best of him. Affair with his baby mama? Maybe... hire a PI to find out.


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## GG1061 (Apr 20, 2021)

Silver519 said:


> I don’t know what I would do if I found out he’s having an affair. I wouldn’t want to put my kids (age 4 and 6) through a divorce. We’ve done counseling in the past and I feel like it was helpful. Counseling is where I found out how and why he cheated both times. He said he felt neglected after we had our second, our sex life was nonexistent. We recently suffered the loss of our third child. I feel like the pregnancy and even the loss has brought us closer. He’s too smart to let me catch him. He has two phones one for work. In the past social media is how he’s committed with his child’s mother. He’s no longer on any social media


He felt neglected? BS, BS and more BS! You have a husband who thinks of himself first with you and the family a distant second. The OW's child is an excuse to nurture the affair, keeps the connection alive beyond co-parenting. A wife who just gave birth and caring for a newborn? Times like those bonded my wife and I together. A newborn child and nursing mother are vulnerable. The husband provides in these times with no regard to himself. If you don't separate from him, at the least, please have no other children with this man unless the changes he makes within himself qualifies him for sainthood.


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