# Have any of you moved after the divorce?



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have any of you moved after the divorce to a new city/state/country? 

If so, how did/do you like it?

I am considering doing this but have no clue where to start. I would like to experience a new place and am ready for a change of scenery. I have been in the area I live forever it seems and for the past year I have wanted to leave it. There is an insane amount of traffic and the cost of living is very high. Also, I still occasionally run into my ex in the city (since we both live here).


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

what about your job?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What specifically are you asking about my job, AR? 

Background: I have been at my job for nearly a decade now and I wouldn't move w/o securing another job first but it seems I don't even know where to start!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I mean you take a big risk in taking a new job and you end up hating it


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah I know that is a possibility. 

The thing is, I find myself really tired of living here some days.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

A large part of me would love to pick up and move somewhere else. Preferably someplace with tolerable winters. But with two kids in their early teens, that's not an option yet. 

My job is pretty portable, and relatively in demand. I get inquiries on a weekly basis if I'd like to throw my name in for a new contract, and I'm not even trying. But between my kids and SO, I'll probably be here for another 5 years or so. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Jellybeans said:


> Yeah I know that is a possibility.
> 
> The thing is, I find myself really tired of living here some days.


If I didn't have kids I could see myself doing that.

And yes - you could hate the new job / town - but you could also LOVE it! Won't know unless you try.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

If I had a secure job in line I'd do it. That being I didn't have any children with a previous marriage. I have a state in mind I'd move to. I'd want to wake up looking at the mountains in my backyard. 

I personally did not move far after my divorce. I stayed in the same town since it was where I grew up in. I've moved from that town when I remarried. I didn't have a choice with having a child involved. I would of done it if I hadn't had any children.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I've always wanted to do a drastic change of scenery.Instead I moved back to the town where I spent most of my childhood bc it is incredibly cheap to buy a house there and even though the commute is long,it's scenic


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No kids so it would be relatively easy for me to pick up and go somewhere but not so easy in trying to find a job and securing a big move... hmmm.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

do you have vacation time coming up? take a trip to where you want to live and scout the place out.


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## BW1 (May 1, 2013)

I moved out of state about 7 months after my divorce was final. I went to a state that is fantastic in the summer, but cold and brutal in the winter. After about 2 years I moved back here to see friends and family, and get out of the nasty winter up there.

But when I came back "BAM" all the old feelings came flooding back in, and I hate it.

I am on a mission to get out of here for good, once I get my finances in order to do so


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Will you be moving a different place this time, BW1? (Meaning, diferent from the place you moved too post-divorce?)


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

I moved but it was due to changing jobs. I'm closer to my child's school and I got a nice pay raise. 

Jelly, why not start looking for other work opportunities and then worry about the move. You might find something in an area of the country that you really would like to explore.


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## not.a.fool (Jan 27, 2013)

yes, I moved 2 states away and had no job or home to move into, I wouldn't change that if I could, it was wonderful to get AWAY from him and all the other opinionated people in the church, community and small town. it was extremely easy to find a job and a home, I enjoyed the newness and excitement and I find it just as east today to pack up and go and I have 2 children and I'm a single Mom.


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## BW1 (May 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Will you be moving a different place this time, BW1? (Meaning, diferent from the place you moved too post-divorce?)


No. I plan on moving to the same place. Even though the winter is tough, The desert I live in now can be brutally hot in the summer. So it is certainly a trade off in adjustment.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Paradise said:


> Jelly, why not start looking for other work opportunities and then worry about the move. You might find something in an area of the country that you really would like to explore.


I have already started to do this. 



not.a.fool said:


> yes, I moved 2 states away and had no job or home to move into, I wouldn't change that if I could, it was wonderful to get AWAY from him and all the other opinionated people in the church, community and small town. it was extremely easy to find a job and a home, I enjoyed the newness and excitement and I find it just as east today to pack up and go and I have 2 children and I'm a single Mom.


Wow. You are an inspiration to me!

I would be scared of moving somewhere new w/o a job! 

I keep thinking Florida would be nice. Or Houston. Or somewhere where it's hot most of the year. I am just so over living here!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

get a job in the Caribbean


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That would be amazing.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

When I stayed in a hostel for a conference, someone asked me if I was there re-settling. I said no, but I learned that's what people do...take a could weeks off of work and take an exploratory trip to a new place and look around at the housing and work situation, and the rest of the situation, and see if it's to their liking. 

Nothing wrong with living your life according to how you dream it. You might not succeed entirely, but it will feel better than staying put out of fear of the unknown. Giving your inclinations a chance to materialize is a powerful thing. Don't sell yourself short.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> When I stayed in a hostel for a conference, someone asked me if I was there re-settling. I said no, but I learned that's what people do...take a could weeks off of work and take an exploratory trip to a new place and look around at the housing and work situation, and the rest of the situation, and see if it's to their liking.
> 
> Nothing wrong with living your life according to how you dream it. You might not succeed entirely, but it will feel better than staying put out of fear of the unknown. Giving your inclinations a chance to materialize is a powerful thing. Don't sell yourself short.


Ever seen the movie Hostel???


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Moved to a new city after the divorce, and did it with two kids. It was the best thing for all of us to get out of the one-horse town we were in. Then the kids' dad decided to up and move to the same city, so the kids get to see him frequently. It's a big enough place I don't run into him and his new family, which is good. Kids are happy with the schools, I'm happy with living where I can get everything I need. If you can find another job you think you might like, I say go for it. It is the best thing in the world to shake off the old life and start a new one.:smthumbup:


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Ever seen the movie Hostel???


No but heard about it here, when I mentioned I was going to stay in a hostel. 

The only funny thing that happened was I was in SoCal and the first night a naked blond woke me up tugging at my hair, which she thought was her shirt, left on the bunk she had last used. But I immediately recognized in the middle of the night that if a naked blond was tugging on my hair I must be in SoCal, so I got my bearings quickly. Jule, from Scotland, but she adapted quickly to SoCal. lol. (And she gave permission for the story to be told.)

A hostel is a great place because you can get a lot of info about a place in a short amount of time. The people who work there including the hosts usually know a great deal about the city. It's cheap and you can stay there while job hunting, looking at apartments, and generally seeing if a life in that place would work out.

Or sign on with a temp agency and get a sublet for a week or two and live the fantasy life, then come home again. (I'm working in Mongolia this summer, and living with a host family. But coming back home after. Still, I can have a bit of my fantasy life as a foreign correspondent, no risk.) It does help not to have a regular kind of job. But if you're single and no kids, there's no reason why you can't just hop around from place to place on temp jobs or short-term contracts. My work lends itself to contract/project work, and skills always in demand. Maybe a job/career change would help?


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