# Bit depressed



## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

having a lot of legal troubles with the ex. He's a spiteful vengeful fellow who has taken on filing legal motions pro se. Multiple civil lawsuits as well. I've won every time we end up in court, which you would think would deter someone, but nope. At this point he owes me over 10k in legal fees that I was awarded via judgements. I've been awarded over 15k so far in the less than two years since the divorce.

But the real problem is every new motion, every new legal bill leaves me less able to see everything around me. All I see is the financial stress of the next few motions/law suits while I am just trying to recover from it all. 

And it sucks. The fellow I've been seeing for somewhere around a year now and I have issues. We get along great then something happens and it's like we've dropped kryptonite on the whole thing. He goes dark for a week or two, then we manage to hash it out. Then the next nuke drops and the pattern repeats itself. 

And I just feel lost. And sad. And paranoid. But is it really paranoia if someone is continually gunning for you? I've been trying so hard to be fiscally responsible, but the legal bills eat away at my financial security. I need very little time to actually recover, but I do need time. And it's time I'm not able to get because of a vengeful disturbed ex.

At this point I just want the pain to stop. I want to be able to lick my wounds and heal. But I'm very quickly going into a downward spiral that I don't know how to prevent.

-M


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Hugs to you. I don't have much advice to give except to consider seeing your doctor and/or a counselor about how you're feeling. I know you said you have financial stress, though, with all the legal stuff. Hopefully your health insurance will cover most of the costs?

I'm sorry you're going through all this.


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## LonelyGirl1963 (Jun 24, 2015)

I second NOmorebeans. I too am sorry you have to go through something like this. I'm sure you need a break, but unfortunately it's the gift that keeps on giving. Keep your eye on the prize and look forward to the day you are rid of this vengeful a s s. I wish you the best!! Good luck.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does your ex have a job?

Can you go to court to have his wages garnished for the amount the court has ordered? If he has to start paying your legal fees, I mean actually paying them, then maybe he will stop this.

Or are there collection agencies that specialize in collecting unpaid judgments? I thought that there were.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What does he keep suing you over?


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

He keeps sueing me over money, ironically. For a couple of reasons, I have some time before I can collect on the money he owes now, but in the meantime I've got fight two more court actions. I honestly think he's going to declare bankruptcy and his whole intent is to try and get me to have to as well. Which just sucks.


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## Nitty (Jun 28, 2015)

He's got nothing else to do except target you with frivolous lawsuits that he probably knows he won't win and he doesn't care about losing since the debts will be discharged in bankruptcy.

This could go on indefinitely, even after he declares bankruptcy, it's become an obsession. You have become his obsession.

Why is he so angry with you? Did you cheat on him or something?

You might have to hire someone to go after him.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Have you tried going to court to declare him a vexatious litigant?


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## Nitty (Jun 28, 2015)

Try saying vexatious litigant 10x fast. 

Out loud.

I couldn't do it.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

Vexatious litigant is a very high bar. What he's done so far doesn't qualify. He's angry because he can't control my every move anymore. He can't control my paycheck. Well, at least not directly. He's angry because anytime he plays the game of life and work politics it doesn't work out in his favor. Quite honestly I think all of this is because he's mentally unstable, believes he's a victim of everyone's actions, and I'm the easiest target for him to sue.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Consider suing him. Maybe showing him that you can play his game and won't back down from a fight will make him realize he's wasting his time??

Sorry, that's the best I can come up. BTW, he sounds like a complete ass.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Morgiana

I tried going back and looking at your previous posts. I can see that your Ex is upset with you in all your post.. I believe you left him.

I don't know the facts behind your divorce and I might be getting your post confused with someone else.. But I think in one post you made the comment of him being a limp d!ck.. Again Please, please, please if I am wrong on that comment I am extremely sorry.. I don't want to start a fire for fuel it.. 

I get he is causing you a lot of sh!t right now.. 

But it is clearly coming from someone who just doesn't know how to deal with the hurt and pain.. Regardless of what a d!ck he is and sh!t he is doing..

So I am gonna ask you straight the fvck out on here... You can lie if you want.. But did you cheat on him ? Did you leave him for someone else ? Did you leave him and next day just meet someone else out of "coincidence" .. 

I was angry with my wife when she left me and the way she did.. Granted it was the best thing for me and my kids.. But even being on top I was still upset.

Today, I have more money than I did married. 
I get a child support I don't even touch. 
I'm in court with her to get more because she doesn't work so as not to pay me child support. 
She hasn't seen her oldest in over 2 years.. Hasn't bought him ANYTHING in over 2 years.. 
I'm in better shape than I was 20 years ago.. But I could be in better shape.. I'm trying.. 
If I get this new job and I pray I do.. I will be clearing a lot of money each month... I could literally live off my pension of my first job and just bank this new job money and this is six figure salary.. 
I have college money for my kids.
I own a million dollar home with a low mortgage and high equity..
I am meeting women 10 years younger than my ex wife, who was older than me by 3 year.. I'm 48..

But with all of that being said.. I would have rather fixed this sh!t with my ex wife.. 

Her life sucks balls now.. Granted she might be happy to get rid of me, but she will be working until 63 to pay me child support. She will have nothing now... She will be that old lady scraping by on a social security check.. With all she did to me over the 20 years together I still feel bad for what her outcome will be.. 

My point is not to brag about myself, though it sounds like I am..

But I am trying to paint a picture that you might be missing here because of all the sh!t that he is doing.. Everyone has a different way of reacting and dealing with this stuff. 

To me this clearly sounds like a man rejected and possibly cheated on and just wants to you to some how feel his pain..

Trust me I told my ex wife, if you could just feel my pain for a moment you would understand and ease up on me.. But she didn't and wouldn't.. 

So when I go to court next month, fvck her.. I will make my case and let her take her lumps.. If she has to work 2 or 3 jobs to pay me.. So be it.. But I won't be happy doing it, no matter what she thinks..


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Morgiana said:


> having a lot of legal troubles with the ex. He's a spiteful vengeful fellow who has taken on filing legal motions pro se. Multiple civil lawsuits as well. I've won every time we end up in court, which you would think would deter someone, but nope. At this point he owes me over 10k in legal fees that I was awarded via judgements. I've been awarded over 15k so far in the less than two years since the divorce.
> 
> But the real problem is every new motion, every new legal bill leaves me less able to see everything around me. All I see is the financial stress of the next few motions/law suits while I am just trying to recover from it all.
> 
> ...


I wish I had some solid advice on how to stop the ex, but I just dont. He is hell bent on not going away and making you miserable. 

Some advice I WILL give...get rid of the current boyfriend. You dont need the stress and his pattern of going dark is a big red flag. He will ALWAYS do this to you. You need someone who is supportive and a PARTNER to you.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

@Hardtohandle: 

Naw, he wasn't a limp ****. I just only orgasamed with him x2. Sex for pleasure vs sex for anything else. I also knew he was angry about the divorce when we started talking about it when we were still together. I try not to get too specific because I have been stalked both in person and electronically by him. That being said, he has a history of getting very very confrontational and vexatious when he doesn't get his way. Let's say this isnt the first time that he when he felt wronged he went out of his way to make the other person 'pay' for what happened. Which is also why I tried to make him feel like he 'won' in the divorce. I gave him over 2/3 of everything just to try and make it stop. I tried to be compassionate. I didnt call the cops when he stalked me; I kept my door locked at all times though.

Before the divorce was final, yes, I had started having sex with other people. But its not when he thinks it started. And no relationship started until after the divorce. I kept everything separate because I didn't want to draw anyone else into it. At this point, the law system really is my only recourse. And yes, I get being mad. I'm frustrated with my situation. I just want space to lick my wounds and heal. I'm frustrated that with the tens of thousands of dollars being spent post-divorce on legal fees (by both of us) is taking away being able to do things with my kids. I'm frustrated that I have to wait another x years for my youngest to get to 18. But most of all I'm frustrated because the legal system continues to allow this to happen. I'm frustrated at the cost both financially and emotionally that is taking its toll on me just because he can't let go. I'm able to deal with the scraps we get into over the kids, but unfortunately, even his lying to the police, his lying to the court, hasn't caught up to him. I'm not talking about dealing with someone who is merely mad. I am talking about someone who files false charges. Who files civil suits just because he doesn't get his way. This isn't normal.

So yeah, you may feel bad for everything that happened with your ex-wife. I feel bad how things ended up with my ex as well. But you can no more take responsibility for what she did or does anymore than what I can take for my ex.

-M


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

@3Xnocharm : I am thinking we are done. It's been too rough. And quite honestly after the last bout of him going dark, I don't even feel as close to him. Add in a fight we got into last night about something stupid and yeah, I think we are done.

Right now I am struggling though. I am struggling emotionally. I am trying to figure out how to move forward. I just want to get past the pain. I don't want to dread every day. I want to look at the sky and see, really see the blueness of it and white fluffyness of the clouds. But I'm so worried about the cost of the ongoing legal action that all I think about is how I rearrange everything. I'm worried that even if I take out the remainder of my 401k monies to cover the legal expenses I am going to still have to declare bankruptcy. And not because I can't control my spending. But because the court hasn't smacked him down yet. But I just want to be left alone.

-M


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Morgiana said:


> @Hardtohandle:
> 
> Naw, he wasn't a limp ****. I just only orgasamed with him x2. Sex for pleasure vs sex for anything else. I also knew he was angry about the divorce when we started talking about it when we were still together. I try not to get too specific because I have been stalked both in person and electronically by him. That being said, he has a history of getting very very confrontational and vexatious when he doesn't get his way. Let's say this isnt the first time that he when he felt wronged he went out of his way to make the other person 'pay' for what happened. Which is also why I tried to make him feel like he 'won' in the divorce. I gave him over 2/3 of everything just to try and make it stop. I tried to be compassionate. I didnt call the cops when he stalked me; I kept my door locked at all times though.
> 
> ...


Thanks for even taking the effort to explain.. I can relate to what you're saying then.. And yes the court system all around sucks balls.. I've dealt with the criminal end for 25 years and family court is worse.. The Magistrates just do is easy for them even if it's not right for you and your kids..

I feel like I need to change my life around and work more to support my kids and my Ex just does whatever she wants..

But I really do get what you're saying about stalking and stuff.. I'm very sorry you're dealing with this sh!t.. 

I joking told a friend of mine once, Look let me punch your wife in the face and you punch mine.. Because this way it's just misdemeanor assault and not domestic violence.. Sadly that holds some validity..


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