# The pain will recede



## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I am taking a more philosophical view today. I don't come back to this forum much other than to engage in mindless banter in the off topic threads. And I come back probably because the site is in my "favorites" bar and I'll see it in the bar and click it when I am bored. The coping with infidelity board. Geeze. So much confusion and pain and flailing. You have seen plenty of mine. What I have to offer is that you will get through this. One way or another, you will get through this. It will recede. You will look back and remember the confusion and pain. You may from time to time even be pulled back into those moments re-living them in the experiential way I imagine the acid flashbacks I was promised. Anyway, the pain will recede to memory. You may be worse for the wear or stronger for having endured the adversity. But you will get through this and the pain will recede. Then you will have your life back, make of it what you will.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Are you at peace with yourself these days? What strategies would you advice to those who have been cheated to survive in a marriage if you chose to stay?


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Glad to hear you have come to terms with the event

I'm so looking forward to Christmas as my plan is to put on 4 lbs with decent wine and Champers flowing over the 7-14 days 

Next year will be a good year


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I would not say that I have found peace or come to terms with anything. It's always the everyday jumble. Just the pain from this particular injury recedes. You do not have to reconcile to it or make peace with it for it to recede. It will recede. Like the pain of any injury that is not fatal. I did not intend to say that all will be well. There may be scarring or worse. It may and most likely will recede in the way that the tide recedes, taking some things with. Maybe unearthing or delivering others. You may not run or move as fast or freely. But you may. You may run faster and more freely. But either way the pain will recede. That was all I wanted to say. These are not prepared remarks, just the stuff that runs through my head in dysentery fashion.

I come here and see the tortured threads. The pain and despair are palpable. But the pain recedes. Much as it may seem like it never will, it does. And then it is memory. And debris.

G.J., your sentiment is inspiration. I'll see your 4 and raise you 3.


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

Thanks HB...I needed to hear that as I was just wondering today after 3.5 years since dday, would the pain ever diminish? Yes, I agree with you that it does recede possibly to the point of sub -awareness but there will always be those times in the midst of present happiness that little stab to the heart arises. Just have to accept the realities we didn't ask for and carry on...


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