# Did my wife cheat?



## Paul55 (Jan 31, 2021)

A few years ago my wife began chatting online to a man we both know. I discovered an email from him to her asking her if things were too close for comfort. 
i have no proof they had sex but just circumstantial evidence - when I was away for work overnight once she was due at a wedding. 

She was supposed to stay over with a friend. In the wedding pics on social media there was no sign of her. A few weeks later I found she had a parking fine at a nearby town - 20 miles from where the wedding was. She says she went there to visit the library and forgot to pay to park.

We’ve moved on and we’re fine now. She doesn’t communicate with this guy any more but I’ve always wanted to know if they had sex at a hotel there that night.
What do people think?


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

There are no pictures at all of her at the wedding?
Does she normally visit libraries when she is out of town?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Does she often go to the library 20 miles away when she’s supposed to be at a wedding?

My vote is something shady happened.


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## Paul55 (Jan 31, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Does she often go to the library 20 miles away when she’s supposed to be at a wedding?
> 
> My vote is something shady happened.


Possibly. They texted each other loads. Does it sound weird that it’s almost a turn on that she did have sex with him?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Paul55 said:


> Does it sound weird that it’s almost a turn on that she did have sex with him?


Ok you lost me on that one. Yeah that is weird (for me) but you do you!


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## Paul55 (Jan 31, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> There are no pictures at all of her at the wedding?
> Does she normally visit libraries when she is out of town?


Not to my knowledge. She was working on a project at the time.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Paul55 said:


> Not to my knowledge. She was working on a project at the time.


Well there you have it! Nope, no cheating. Carry on. 😏


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

How fitting that she chose to say she was at the Lie-brary. Seriously? Of course she did.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Well due to the fact that you a strangely turned on by it I would suggest the following:

Hey honey....I’m so turned on thinking about you hammering that guy when you were supposed to be at a wedding that I just can’t quit jerking off thinking about it. I need my fantasy to be even more real so I’m taking you in for a polygraph.


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## Manner1067 (Feb 22, 2021)

"We’ve moved on and we’re fine now." --no you are not 

I don't need to look at my wife's financial receipts or check her GPS coordinates, because I trust her. And she trust me.

Why haven't you confronted her on this? The excuse she gave about being at a library is a bunch of bullsh**. If she had not been sniffing around some dude via email and social media before that, it would be believable, but the amount of evidence here suggests otherwise.

Now it is impossible to know what happened. You need to ask her.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Why are you here?

To tell everyone that you get off thinking your wife cheated on you.

My point of view is that your sick in the head but to each their own.

Enjoy the visions of another guy plowing your wife.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Ask her to take a polygraph


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Paul55 said:


> A few years ago my wife began chatting online to a man we both know. I discovered an email from him to her asking her if things were too close for comfort.
> i have no proof they had sex but just circumstantial evidence - when I was away for work overnight once she was due at a wedding.
> 
> She was supposed to stay over with a friend. In the wedding pics on social media there was no sign of her. A few weeks later I found she had a parking fine at a nearby town - 20 miles from where the wedding was. She says she went there to visit the library and forgot to pay to park.
> ...


I would somehow bring up something related to the wedding and your wife being there, while you're both in the presence of the person whose wedding it was. It does sound fishy though.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Paul55 said:


> Does it sound weird that it’s almost a turn on that she did have sex with him?


Paul, have you given any thought to becoming a hotwifer. For a lot of guys there is nothing more exciting than his wife going out and sleeping with other guys and him "reclaiming" her. It appears she has wanted to cheat or did cheat for awhile, so she may embrace the idea knowing you are both supportive and turned on by her having sex with other guys while you watch or she tells you about it.

of course don't be too disappointed in the unlikely situation she didn't have sex with the guy.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Paul55 said:


> A few years ago my wife began chatting online to a man we both know. I discovered an email from him to her asking her if things were too close for comfort.
> i have no proof they had sex but just circumstantial evidence - when I was away for work overnight once she was due at a wedding.
> 
> She was supposed to stay over with a friend. In the wedding pics on social media there was no sign of her. A few weeks later I found she had a parking fine at a nearby town - 20 miles from where the wedding was. She says she went there to visit the library and forgot to pay to park.
> ...


No one can say for sure but the situation is sus af. There are plenty of guys into the hotwife thing, ive met a few guys who are into it. But you don't know if it happened so it might be a fantasy you suddenly are disgusted by if you discover she did have sex with him. I think you need to figure out a way to discover the truth. I think you should try to figure out if she was at the wedding or not, if she was did she have a date? If you can find out that she was not and she is lying to you about the wedding then yes she cheated.

Now if you discover she did and you are still turned on by it and decide you want to explore the hotwife thing take that very slow in baby steps do not just jump right into it sending her out on her own. Start with something like watching her flirt with guys at a bar or something and slowly escalate. 

But I will tell you with a fair degree of certainty if your wife did cheat on you in the past, you cannot trust her enough to be involved in that lifestyle and have it end well, I am fairly certain you marriage will not survive it.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Or in your case .... you can just hope she did??

Man this place is getting weird.


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## TheGoodFather (Feb 12, 2021)

Just tell her you're actually getting a kick out of thinking she did it, that way she will get freed from guilt and you will have the certainty you need. 

(You just can never fully grasp the weirdness of human beings.)


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Paul55 said:


> Possibly. They texted each other loads. Does it sound weird that it’s almost a turn on that she did have sex with him?


Yeah, that's weird...


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

if she did cheat with him, she will never admit to it short of a polygraph, which she will probably refuse to do.

however, there is still a way of finding out.

Since you know the guy, call him up and CALMLY talk to him. Tell him that you and your wife have talked about what happened, and you have agreed to go to marriage counseling with her if you verify everything that she has already told you. Tell him that you have told her that if THE SLIGHTEST detail is off between the two stories, then you will be filing for divorce.

Tell him that you wife gave you all the details, and through her crying, she has begged to stay married. simply ask him what happened between them, and SHUT UP!!!! Let him talk.

If he says nothing, say, “well, why don’t we start with the texts.” This will make him believe you know more than you do, and will start talking. Remind him that she knows you are calling him and asking for verification of her story and she knows that if the stories are different, you already have an appointment with an attorney early next week.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Paul55 said:


> Possibly. They texted each other loads. Does it sound weird that it’s almost a turn on that she did have sex with him?


Yes, this is strange to me. Maybe not to you. But I'm sure there are people out there that do. My former hairstylist was into that lifestyle. He was looking for the one who would accept it and be into it. He had quite a few wives and divorces, I guess he never found the right one. I liked him though as a person, he was very honest about his thoughts and life decisions, which I could appreciate.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

GC, your hair guy must not have had sufficient wealth. I've known a lot of chick who would have been secure being able to play with others and had a benefactor at the same time.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

VladDracul said:


> GC, your hair guy must not have had sufficient wealth. I've known a lot of chick who would have been secure being able to play with others and had a benefactor at the same time.


Haha, @VladDracul perhaps he was not looking in the right places.


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## CoachWisch (Mar 6, 2021)

Paul55 said:


> A few years ago my wife began chatting online to a man we both know. I discovered an email from him to her asking her if things were too close for comfort.
> i have no proof they had sex but just circumstantial evidence - when I was away for work overnight once she was due at a wedding.
> 
> She was supposed to stay over with a friend. In the wedding pics on social media there was no sign of her. A few weeks later I found she had a parking fine at a nearby town - 20 miles from where the wedding was. She says she went there to visit the library and forgot to pay to park.
> ...


Women start considering divorce 2-3 years before they hint at it so if she was thinking then of an affair you can be at risk of her still thinking about it; what have you done to make your marriage unbreakable?


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