# She wants to date me after divorce??



## goosebumps (Feb 16, 2010)

This one is emotionally confusing for me because after 30 plus years of dating/marriage she wants a divorce, my first kiss in 8th grade.. The part where I need help with is the following: She states she is doing this for me, tells me she loves me all the time, wants to date after divorce, and even stated to get re-married. Why is she doing this?? I think part of the problem is she just turned 50, change of life issues?, lost both of her parents recently, and got her first paying job in 1 1/2 years. 

Friends are calling me crazy because we are still living in the same house, sleeping together, ski trips together with kids, and having sex. I'm having my heart ripped out because I still love her and always have loved her. She does not want to go to a marriage councilor, the sad part I have uncovered some steamy e-mails with her alleged somebody else, but she denys. Very confused????

Help


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## peacefully (Nov 13, 2009)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. She wants to explore a different life, and to keep you as a back up.

Maybe she thinks that if you are divorced, then she can legally cheat and if she tires of it, or when it fizzles, she can go back to you?
What I'm sure she is NOT thinking about is how this is ripping you apart, or about how your trust in her will be crushed.

If she wants to be divorced, then I suggest that you stop acting like you are married. Let her feel what it is like to lose you.

From what you say, it sounds to me like she has met someone else. 

Look after yourself, get some distance from her, and find yourself a therapist.

Good luck and god bless you as you go through this.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

peacefully said:


> I am so sorry that you are going through this. She wants to explore a different life, and to keep you as a back up.
> 
> Maybe she thinks that if you are divorced, then she can legally cheat and if she tires of it, or when it fizzles, she can go back to you?
> What I'm sure she is NOT thinking about is how this is ripping you apart, or about how your trust in her will be crushed.
> ...


:iagree:

She's playing a high stakes game of "What if?" If there is some one else involved at an emotional or physical nature that is more likely the cause of this then an MLC. What evidence do you have of a third party?

Either way she can't have it both ways. She either needs to start to address her issues in the marriage our move on.


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