# Wife of 15 years moves out into her own apartment



## Ljmac1927

My wife of 15 years moves out into an apartment and spends over 4800.00 dollars in three weeks buying things for it. This happened so quickly, we came home on Sunday, Nov 2 from our daughters college after watching the game with her. I noticed that she was upstairs whispering on the phone and said I miss you. I went upstairs and asked who she was talking with and she said it was a high school friend of 1982 and I asked if he was only a friend why was she whispering, she hung up the phone and said I did not have to worry since he was only an oil tech at Jiffy Lube and could not compete with me on income. We both went downstairs and eventually it lead to shouting, I went upstairs to cool off and came down 30 minutes later to learn that she had left, I tried calling her cellphone but no answer, eventually she answered and said you just noticed that was gone, that shows how much attention you pay to me. She did not come home that night and I went to her work the next day mid morning and noticed thar her auto had been in a accident, I went in and asked her to said she got into an accident, I asked for the report from the police and noticed it happened in Cameron where she grew up which is about 30 miles north of our home. She came home that Monday night and went straight to bed, the next morning we briefly discussed the situation before we both went to work, that evening which is now Tuesday we discussed it briefly and she stated it was over and I said what was over, she David her friendship with the old high school friend. I left Wednesday morning for a business trip and cam home on Thursday evening only to find she had moved about 50 percent of her things. I did not know where she was only that she was somewhere in Cameron( her old hometown) now it is 5 days after it all started. I went through the weekend how did this happen so suddenly. I went on a business trip on Monday for a week while on this business trip I found out that she reconnected with this high school friend in late September and have been talking back in forth on Facebook and how they were glad they found each other on Facebook, there were even messages sent between them even while we were out to dinners some nights. I called her and told her what I found out, her response was that he would not have sex with her until she was divorced and that he was a great person. So on November 15 she moved into her apartment and started the process of setting up shop and she removed the remaining items she had at the house and some furniture. Now she tells me he was only a friend and he showed her the right path to happiness and she also tells me that she wants to tell me the so many wrongs things I did to her but she does not want to hurt me. I just asked her right before Thanksgiving if she wanted a divorce and it was not fair to me to keep me dangling as I have asked her to go to counseling with me before we throw away 15 years of marriage and she only says I am suffocating her, so I have not spoken to her about 4 days and have no plans on calling as I told her by text to call me when she is ready to talk!

Any thoughts on what is happening?


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## Oldfaithful

She's having an affair.


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## Ljmac1927

She says he is only a friend and he just pointed her in the right direction.


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## Oldfaithful

Why would she say that he won't have sex with her if he's just a friend? If he's a friend only sex would not be a topic of discussion.


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## Mavash.

Ljmac1927 said:


> her response was that he would not have sex with her until she was divorced and that he was a great person.


It's still an affair - an emotional affair.

Not that I believe a word of this btw.

She's had sex with him.


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## Oldfaithful

People don't leave spouses for someone they are "just friends" with.


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## lenzi

Stop asking her if she wants a divorce.

Stop waiting for her to call.

It's time for you to make the next move.

She's called one too many shots.


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## Fordsvt

lenzi said:


> Stop asking her if she wants a divorce.
> 
> Stop waiting for her to call.
> 
> It's time for you to make the next move.
> 
> She's called one too many shots.


I'd have to agree here too. You need to get some control of the situation here. Perhaps the Marriage 180 is needed here. But you need to balance the scales here or your going to be dead in the water.

It's an affair no doubt. Get a grip on it on move forward.


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## debaussie71

lenzi said:


> Stop asking her if she wants a divorce.
> 
> Stop waiting for her to call.
> 
> It's time for you to make the next move.
> 
> She's called one too many shots.


I really want to give Lenzi a hug.

I agree, you need to do what you want to do but you probably won't know the answer to any time soon so time is needed.

My husband after almost 20 years of marriage has just left me and I am in total stunned & confused mode at the moment and who knows, he could be having an affair but I can't find any evidence supporting my accusation.

You on the other hand, have the evidence flashing right in front of you. It sounds like she wants the divorce but does not want to make the first step. She sounds like the type of person whereby you will serve her with divorce papers and then bad mouth you to mutual friends, family etc and use the woe is me factor. I have an ex sister in-law who did this to my husbands brother.

If you want cold hard evidence then I suggest hiring a short term Private Investigator. I am in the process of doing this myself to see if my husband is having an affair. 

For your own security, I think you should have a meeting with the bank to split financials before anything else goes missing referring to the excessive spending. Cancel credit cards and start from there. It might make her realise that you are not going to be pushed around and stood on like a door mat. Might make her realise what she has lost or will lose if she doesn't get her act together.

Heart goes out to you friend.


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## zookeeper

Sounds like she is in fantasy land. Even if she comes back, would you still want her? I would not. If you think she is not cheating, you are in serious denial.

I suggest you step on the gas and get this divorce done light speed while she is still in the fog.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyTurn

Sorry man ,I feel for you.
Its time to lowyer up and take care of you finances.I think it is a PA
all ready. If you can aford it hire a PI to find out .She is to far in the fog.This is not something that just happend,it must be going on for some time now.


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## LongWalk

Jiffy Lube lover is worth it to her. He has strong hands if nothing else. She even likes those rough hands. You cannot compete in the short term.

File for divorce. Go dark or 180. Six months from now she may sing different song in the key of B flat. Right now he is A no. 1.

Protect yourself.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## just got it 55

Man I hate this sh!t


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## 6301

Ljmac1927 said:


> she hung up the phone and said I did not have to worry since he was only an oil tech at Jiffy Lube and could not compete with me on income.


 That statement is a killer. Lets not squabble about an affair. he can't compete with you on income.

I hope you changed you checking and savings account to your name only. I really do. I would also cancel the credit cards and open new ones in your name only. 

Don't know your income but if it was me, I would hide every nickle I had off shore somewhere. 

Got news for you. The grease monkey has her on his lift greasing and changing her oil. No doubt about it so do the right thing and divorce her and send her a bottle of GoJo waterless hand soap to get the grease stains off her ass.


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## turnera

Ljmac1927 said:


> She says he is only a friend and he just pointed her in the right direction.


:rofl:

Right, cos she misses THAT.


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## turnera

You DID close off all the bank accounts for now, right?


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## LongWalk

By divorcing ASAP and ignoring her silly azz you may snap her out of this, but do you want to?

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## tom67

LongWalk said:


> By divorcing ASAP and ignoring her silly azz you may snap her out of this, but do you want to?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


To just take off with the jiffy lube guy after 15 years...
Naa that's ok he can have her.


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## cdbaker

Yeah it's definitely an affair, VERY likely a sexual affair too, but an emotional affair at the very least.

If you want to have any hope of salvaging the marriage, you have to balance the scales or tip them in your favor by being the next person to make a move. Get a lawyer and file for divorce. You've given her enough time to prevent that if she wanted to. She'll get angry and act/feel betrayed by this move, but she'll really only be upset over the fact that she'll realize that she is no longer in control of the situation. Being made to feel the consequences of your actions is never a fun experience, but ultimately she has to be forcibly "woken up" to the reality of the situation and her actions. Plus it'll earn you a ton of respect.

In the meantime however, focus on yourself. Eat better, work out, be social with friends, fix up the house, etc. Show that you can move on without her and you don't need her around to be happy.


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## Machiavelli

Ljmac1927, I take it you're not the biological father of the daughter, since you've been married 15 years and D's already in college. If that's the case, you were merely the selected "beta provider" to see to the raising of her child. Now that you have fulfilled your purpose, your wife has no further need for you. Do you want your wife back?


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## tom67

Machiavelli said:


> Ljmac1927, I take it you're not the biological father of the daughter, since you've been married 15 years and D's already in college. If that's the case, you were merely the selected "beta provider" to see to the raising of her child. Now that you have fulfilled your purpose, your wife has no further need for you. Do you want your wife back?


Mach attack is back and right on the money.

:allhail:


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