# Caught wife sending nudes



## Mike123 (7 mo ago)

Hi all

I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Welcome to TAM. 

There's a lot not right with what your W chose to do. Usually there are more details in these circumstances. There are other threads here about Ws sending nudes and or racy photos to others.


----------



## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Hopefully that is all that has happened. As RR says, study other posts here and begin your investigation. Hopefully the picture is all that has happened. It's not likely.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I doubt that pictures is all that happened. No is the time to do your due diligence.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

We’re just friends, it only happened once, it didn’t mean anything. Are the biggest lies told here.
Go online and review your phone bill for text and message data. Don’t be shocked at what you see. Unless they were using a cheater app. You can do a deleted text recovery on her phone
All cheaters lie a lot. A lot.
While anything is possible compare that to probable.
Right now she’s sorry she got caught.
You probably only know the tip of the iceberg.
No matter what if they work together it will probably continue. 

If he’s married inform his wife without warning him or your wife. Don’t skip this step.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Once nudes are sent you can never get that cat back in the bag. Most guys show them off to friends, etc.
I’m sorry but this is where you’re at.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Never leave your home!!!!


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So you wife had a sexual affair. That's what that is and it may be the tip of the iceberg.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

sokillme said:


> So you wife had a sexual affair. That's what that is and it may be the tip of the iceberg.


Very likely.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Women don’t send uses to guys they don’t want to screw. You’ve got the tip of the iceberg as said. You already know a lot more I suspect or wouldn’t have checked her phone.

the only positive I can say is usually cheaters don’t leave their phone unlocked. They’re relentless with guarding their phone.

my ex was sending nude crap to all kinds of guys. She claimed that was all. Videos too. 
Now she’s an ex.


----------



## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Has your wife given you full access to her phone and all the texts between them? Has she deleted any messages? Look at your phone bill and see the amount of calls and texts between them. Unfortunately you have probably only begun to scratch the service.


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Working together at same employment? Yup, there’s more to this story…


----------



## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Marc878 said:


> Once nudes are sent you can never get that cat back in the bag. *Most guys show them off to friends, etc.
> I*’m sorry but this is where you’re at.


Please don't paint us all with the same brush. I would never betray the trust of lady that shared herself intimately with me. Even after a breakup, I would not disrespect her this way by showing her sexy pictures to anyone.

At the same time, I would expect her to keep any pictures of my junk that I shared with her a secret to never be revealed to anyone.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Mike123 said:


> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes;


Embarrassed, why would you be embarrassed? Shouldn't your wife be the one to be embarrassed? 



Mike123 said:


> I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo.


Yeah right, "ONE" drunken night, or if you get to the bottom of it it most likely be one dozen.



Mike123 said:


> I have spoke to her and she has apologised,


Yeah, she apologized. what else would you have expected her to do? Of course she apologized. She had no other choice, that doesn't mean that she's sorry. She's only sorry that she got caught.




Mike123 said:


> Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Well, if you were too happy about it then, the problem would be you, but that's not the case. Honestly, I know that today's men are kind of ***** whipped, and get all bend up out of shape, and can't figure out what to do, so having said that, myself as a man that knows exactly what his boundaries are, even if what she said is true, and she just sent that "one" picture, it wouldn't change the fact that she was for some time carrying on with this dude at work, getting somehow sufficiently emotionally involved with him is for my self respect and dignity too much. I would dump her immediately. I just can't see myself with her ever again. But I'm not you, you do you. Since you have no desire to dump her, I guess that you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. Always with expectation of when she's going to do it again and probably more next time. To me, that's no way to live.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Mike123 said:


> Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Have her leave. Problem solved.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ah_sorandy said:


> Please don't paint us all with the same brush.


He said "Most Guys" and in that respect he's right. he is not painting every single man in this planet with the same brush.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ah_sorandy said:


> Please don't paint us all with the same brush. I would never betray the trust of lady that shared herself intimately with me. Even after a breakup, I would not disrespect her this way by showing her sexy pictures to anyone.
> 
> At the same time, I would expect her to keep any pictures of my junk that I shared with her a secret to never be revealed to anyone.


If you sent her a junk pic brother she's already shared that!


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Numb26 said:


> I doubt that pictures is all that happened. No is the time to do your due diligence.


What he said


----------



## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

How long have you been married?
Do you have children?


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

There's no defense for this. Leave her. What you know is the tip of the iceberg and she feels no remorse or she wouldn't have done it. You found the picture because she's been at this so long she's gotten careless. Or she was hoping you'd find it and end things so she doesn't have to be the "bad guy."


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Oh I definitely understand not being to stand the sight of her. Is this something to justify divorce? Eh, maybe, maybe not.

I can tell you one thing, you will NEVER trust her again. You know she wants to show her tits to other men, and yes, if the opportunity presented itself, she'd be riding other men's baloney ponies.

So if you decided to stay with her, then here is what she should expect at minimum.


you get access to her phone whenever you want
you should have tracking on her phone so you know where she is at all times
if she is a "girls night out" kind of person that stays out until the wee hours of the morning bar hopping, or something like that....that is over.

She has proven she can't be trusted. Now honestly, I wouldn't bother with all of that. I'd just get rid of her. But you don't seem to want to do that, so you will have to kind of be her warden on some small level. Not heavy handed, but at the very least you should know where she is at all times and she is to not engage in any secrecy.

Have you both talked about consequences for her?


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Marc878 said:


> Most guys show them off to friends, etc.
> I’m sorry but this is where you’re at.


Do some really do that ****?


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Mike123 said:


> She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo.


The before and after messages should tell you lots of what you need to know.

How long after the photo sent did you find out?

Were there any nights out after that photo? If so could have been a meet up with colleague.

If it’s a work colleague and it’s gone that far already…….


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I divorced over a wife sending nudes and having phone sex in her car and in our bed. Stayed for 3 years but couldn’t get over it. I never found anything else and never had confirmation that they even met. But it was still too much for me to handle. She had been perfect for 3 years, but it still didn’t matter to me. What’s done is done.

You may reach that, you may not. You may find more, you may never find anything. A lot of people will say watch how she acts, is she remorseful, etc, etc. Even then it may not be enough. You get to make that decision.


----------



## Ollarfreeman (Oct 29, 2020)

Hmm your story is similar to the news i just treated here..
Well let me first clear you for one thing..
"NEVER GO THRU YOUR SPOUSE PHONE AGAIN"
If you really to stay happy in life, dont check her phone. You will surely find somthing to ask question about..
Now the deed had been done, both party have realized the mistake.. You cant go anywhere. My friend, you dont leave your home to stranger.. the intruder came to destroy your home and you have clear that. Just take your eyes off the mess and move on.. a repented soul is better than virgin heart because you dont know what the virgin will do..
Everyone got **** in their anus, nobody is saint..
Just Forgive and Forget


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Before you married her has she ever sent you nude photos? If so that should have set up a red flag. Obviously it's very inappropriate.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

I suspect that your wife is already in a PA with this guy. The pic is to hold him off until he gets to have her again. If they haven’t had sex yet, they very likely had a make out / heavy petting session in a back seat. You need to find out how far this has gone, before there’s any talk of moving forward. Don’t let her quit until you find out. If you’ve only been married a short time and have no kids, cut her loose.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ollarfreeman said:


> Hmm your story is similar to the news i just treated here..
> Well let me first clear you for one thing..
> "NEVER GO THRU YOUR SPOUSE PHONE AGAIN"
> If you really to stay happy in life, dont check her phone. You will surely find somthing to ask question about..
> ...


The old rig sweep thing never works long term.
Forgive, maybe……. Forget? Only for fools.

I respectfully disagree.


----------



## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

OP,

Really sorry you are here.

As dufficult as this, you must deal with the reality of the situation.

The odds are really good that there was a lot more.

You will quickly find out if your wife really wants to work on this with you or not.

She will either be open, honest and transparent or she won't.

Is she actively trying to get the deleted texts back?

If she isn't, it's because they show proof that more went on and happened between them.

Some think polygraphs are good and some don't. I think they are worth it.

One can't reconcile when they don't know or have the facts as they don't know what they are reconciling with.

She will either work with you or against you regarding this. Why be with her if she keeps lying, minimizing and trying to rugsweep this?

OP, I really hope she works with you regarding this.

Either way you have to deal with the reality of the situation.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

red oak said:


> Do some really do that ****?


Of course. its a trophy to brag about. 
Years ago on here a guy caught his wife meeting a guy in a mall. She had bought him a watch. She was adamant nothing happed. *They were just friends.*
A friend of his happened to be in a bar. When her friend came in. He was sitting close and heard him bragging about this married woman was not only buying him things but he was banging her a lot.
He divorced her. She confessed afterwards but he was done before because he had seen her stroking his hand. *Cheaters lie a lot. *


----------



## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Mike, consider posting this thread over in Coping With Infidelity. 

Because that's what this is.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Ollarfreeman said:


> Hmm your story is similar to the news i just treated here..
> Well let me first clear you for one thing..
> "NEVER GO THRU YOUR SPOUSE PHONE AGAIN"
> If you really to stay happy in life, dont check her phone. You will surely find somthing to ask question about..
> ...


*It’s never a mistake. It’s a choice. You’re a chump only if you allow it.*


----------



## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Get all logs and anything she has on computers, tablets, etc and trace it all. 
This might have been a case where you happened to see one out of many things that might exist.


----------



## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

She’s been cheating. 
what do you plan to do about it?

I hope you plan to invoke consequences so she doesn’t get the idea you are a chump and she can continue mistreating you.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


Is her colleague married?

If so, inform his wife.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

red oak said:


> Do some really do that ****?


Depends on the girl the boobs belong to...but yeah, those pics generally get passed around.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Before you married her has she ever sent you nude photos? If so that should have set up a red flag. Obviously it's very inappropriate.


Sending nude pictures to anyone ever is indicative of at the very least poor judgement. No intelligent person thinks those pictures aren’t passed around to everyone the recipient knows. Not to mention that the data on your phone isn’t completely secure. This is a great point, if she’s the type that sent nudes to YOU, she’s the type that craves that kind of attention and it’s a big red flag.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Drive by?


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Drive by?



it seems that way. 

I wonder if he wasn't able to handle what was being advice to him.?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rob_1 said:


> it seems that way.
> 
> I wonder if he wasn't able to handle what was being advice to him.?


I thought his OP had some red flags to begin with.


----------



## mickybill (Nov 29, 2016)

Just a thought here, would the guy/BF really leave his job over just a boob photo?
There may be a page two here....


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Mike123 said:


> Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


So you cant stand to look at her. Why don’t you want to leave? She showed her boobs that are for your eyes only to another man. Why does a woman do that? Because she is hot for the other man. Realize all of the men at work and elsewhere have seen her tatas so now she isnt solely yours ever again.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

if she’s sending boobs pictures, they work together….. I’d say that nasties have been slapped within 4 days of boobies pics sent.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> if she’s sending boobs pictures, they work together….. I’d say that nasties have been slapped within 4 days of boobies pics sent.


Why 4 days? I would think they had sex before pics sent. Pics were to remind him of the fun he had, him to wack off while looking at her boob pictures.


----------



## californian (Jan 28, 2010)

Ollarfreeman said:


> "NEVER GO THRU YOUR SPOUSE PHONE AGAIN"


OR THROUGH YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT TRANSACTIONS
= why upsetting yourself =


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> Why 4 days? I would think they had sex before pics sent. Pics were to remind him of the fun he had, him to wack off while looking at her boob pictures.


Pics were to reel him in as well as after, to keep him interested.


----------



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Another pukefest. Like a broken record here.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> Pics were to reel him in as well as after, to keep him interested.


She wants more of what she’s already gotten. It sounds like the OP wants to believe because the truth is too hard to fathom.
Self inflicted limbo.


----------



## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Well, looks like Mike might be too busy manning up and dumping this slag of a wife.


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

drencrom said:


> Well, looks like Mike might be too busy manning up and dumping this slag of a wife.


If only…

Sadly, I think we all know the odds of that.


----------



## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

Would you send a **** pic to a female colleague? Basically the same thing. I'd 180 hard. Plenty of fish in the sea.


----------



## BelsBeast66 (3 mo ago)

Mike123 said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm embarrassed to post this but here goes; I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo. I have spoke to her and she has apologised, same with her colleague. He has agreed to leave the company as 'compensation'. Now I can't stand the sight of her but I don't want to leave. Any advice is appreciated


I wouldn’t doubt that he has sent your wife pictures of him prior to her send him anything. I bet a search of her text data will bare that out. Either way I hope you can navigate your way through.


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Depends on the girl the boobs belong to...but yeah, those pics generally get passed around.


As do the girls themselves.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Mike123 said:


> I discovered on my wife's phone she sent a topless photo of herself to a colleague. She said they had been texting flirtatiously in the weeks building up but nothing to this extent and one drunken night she sent the photo.


----------

