# Tell me something personal



## Lonely Hubby (Dec 11, 2010)

My wife won't touch me, no sex or intimacy for over 3 years. At one time we were very active, gradually dropped to zero. I always gave her that special smile.

I thought she had no thoughts of sex anymore. Then I discovered she has a vibrator she uses once a week or so.

So, OK, I'm hurt. But my question is; Do women fantasize while doing it? I would think so. And since she has no desire for me, who might she fantasize about?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Honestly, it depends on the woman and the relationship. When I was with my ex-husband, I fantasized about other men all the time because I hated him and couldn't stand him. With my boyfriend, the only fantasies I have are about him when he's not here. 

Also in truth, though...I prefer to be with him. So, although I do have toys, if I use them, it's only to, uh...get the job done. I don't fantasize, I don't spend a lot of time, I just get there and get done. 

So even though she has a vibrator and uses it weekly, it doesn't necessarily mean she's fantasizing about someone else. Or at all. 

Have you talked to her about any of this? I think you need to. You need to find out how she feels about sex and why the sex has disappeared, as well as what you two can do to bring it back.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

3 years, wow, I'm sorry to hear that. You need to find out whats going on and take the steps to correct it for her as well as you. No vibrator or any other toy will ever take the place of a man, imo.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Lonely Hubby said:


> My wife won't touch me, no sex or intimacy for over 3 years. At one time we were very active, gradually dropped to zero. I always gave her that special smile.
> 
> I thought she had no thoughts of sex anymore. Then I discovered she has a vibrator she uses once a week or so.
> 
> So, OK, I'm hurt. But my question is; Do women fantasize while doing it? I would think so. And since she has no desire for me, who might she fantasize about?


There must be a reason.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

atruckersgirl said:


> Also in truth, though...I prefer to be with him. So, although I do have toys, if I use them, it's only to, uh...get the job done. I don't fantasize, I don't spend a lot of time, I just get there and get done.
> 
> So even though she has a vibrator and uses it weekly, it doesn't necessarily mean she's fantasizing about someone else. Or at all.


I am the same way. I don't really need to fantasize about other people. I normally think about him and me....most of the time it is thoughts about our last time together.
Occasionally I will fanatsize about him and me and perhaps another person in the mix. 
Mostly it is just a quick thing that doesn't even require any fantasy to "get the job done"


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Lonely Hubby said:


> My wife won't touch me, no sex or intimacy for over 3 years. At one time we were very active, gradually dropped to zero. I always gave her that special smile.
> 
> I thought she had no thoughts of sex anymore. Then I discovered she has a vibrator she uses once a week or so.
> 
> So, OK, I'm hurt. But my question is; Do women fantasize while doing it? I would think so. And since she has no desire for me, who might she fantasize about?


Women often fantasize during masturbation. It could be about an unattainable celebrity or a secret crush. A woman who is happy about her sex life will fantasize about her lover.
Masturbating is the easy and quick route to an orgasm. You and your wife need to communicate about your sex life. Be honest, yet loving.
Do you and your wife have babies or young children? These treasures are often a strain on marital sex; they absorb a lot of time and energy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## purplegerberdaisy (Dec 12, 2010)

I havent found a need to fantasize, however, it just depends on the woman. Some are more open to it than others. 
I am thinking there is a reason that the intimacy is gone. I would be more concerned about that then the vibrator. my opinion only


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

What has life thrown your way for it to dry up this way??? It has to be something for you to go 3 years without the nookie, which is about 2.5 years longer than i could wait out, unless there was something medical going on, on her end.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

I fantasize if he's not there. I do fantasize about other men as well. BUT it's almost always a threesome involving him as well, so I doubt he'd mind. I think fantasizing is healthy. I would be worried for my marriage if I never fantasized about him or only other men. I would never cheat, and I know he'd do the same. It helps my husband is super sexy though. I do my best to say sexy for him as well. I think that's a huge problem in a lot of relationships. People take each other for granted. There's no excuse for a lack of trying to be physically appealing for one another. None.


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