# Would you consider that as cheating?



## summersoul (Mar 23, 2014)

Hello,

i wanted to start a new thread cause this question is very important to me and me and my ex are talking about it but can´t figure out who is right.

So we had a really rocky time in our relationship, full of misstrust and arguing. Sometimes she broke up, sometimes I broke up but we continued the relationship and made up a few days after that. It is immature to break up out of anger and I know that. So when things got worse and worse she went on vacation to her home country. The day before we made up and even the first day when she was there we talked and confessed our love to each other. Everything seemed fine. The next day she went on a date with a guy and he tried to kiss her. I only later found out about it. The next day we got into a big fight and because I thought I was right and felt that she didn´t want to solve the problem I told her it´s really over and she agreed. But my immature intention was to get her to realize that I was right. Then the next day she went to this guys home and kissed him. I didn´t knew about it. We were in no contact for a few days then she called me, said she loved me and wanted to continue the relationship. At that time she already slept with him. So now she is saying it wasn´t cheating because we were technically broken up. But the affair started when everything was fine. But she is telling that that wasn´t physical at this time and got physical after we broke up. But for me it wasn´t a real break up, but a rocky argument. So what do you think?? Please help me out!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

and why are you even talking to your ex about this?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Make her your ex. For ever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts...

She's your ex, so who cares. 

Life's too short for so much drama. 

Don't worry about labels; worry about what's acceptable or not (to you). 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## italianjob (May 7, 2014)

If, as a BF and a GF, you need to discuss if something is or isn't technically (or otherwise) cheating, it means you should not continue the relationship IMO.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

It is an ex (and exGF at that). Just move on and be thankful that you found out prior to it becoming M. From your description it is hard to tell. If you to were in fact together when she started emotionally straying then it would be cheating but that is a moot point currently.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

If you like her behavior, sleeping around on technicalities, go ahead and get married

*/snark off

Next her and look for compatibilities in the future. Somone with class, maturity and well, very rich. At least the problems and frustrations will be different!

Dude, This is what dating is all about. She failed the interview. Stop wallowing in her failure. It's your success in dumping LTR fails.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

My friend, haven't we been 'round and 'round on this? You really need to try to move on from her in every way possible.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/214529-affair-making.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/reconciliation/220250-help-can-i-get-her-back.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/225106-worst-time-my-life-don-t-know-what-do.html

For your own sanity, you really need to move on from her. There are literally thousands of other women in the world. Possibly maybe even more I'm not very good at math.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> My friend, haven't we been 'round and 'round on this? You really need to try to move on from her in every way possible.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/214529-affair-making.html
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

Wow, was not aware. Great observation Philly!


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Q tip said:


> :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:
> 
> Wow, was not aware. Great observation Philly!


That's why they pay me the big bucks.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Good god man, does it even matter who is "right"? The question should not be who is right, it should be why on earth would you stay with any chick who thought so little of you that she was jumping into bed with someone else the day after you "broke up". It demonstrates a real mean / evil streak (I'm angry, or he hurt me...I'll teach him! I'm gonna go screw someone!) and / or a lack of caring about you. 

A woman that truly cares about you, who breaks up with you, or who you break up with, should typically be a crying, blubbering mess for a while...not looking to jump the first guy's bones who comes along.

She's either got serious issues, or issues maybe just with you. Either way...applicant has failed the vetting process. Move on to next applicant.

She may have already had this guy waiting in the wings and "broke up" with you so she COULD "technically" not "cheat" on you.

Is that what you want to look forward to? Every time you have an argument, throw out the "breaking up" or "separating" (if married) words, that you know this chick is instantly boning some other guy on a technicality?

Come on man. Really?

Uhm, let's see. I'm going to go start an argument with the wife right now, tell her we're splitting up, all so I can bang the cute waitress who was flirting with me at the bar last night, and not officially be a "cheater". I'm sure that will go over REAL well when we make up and "get back together" later this weekend.

You've been given a lot of good advice on your threads regarding this serial cheater chick you're dating. You should heed that advice, or be prepared to be back here in the future talking about how you caught your wife cheating on you, how you're pretty sure your kid is not really yours, how she gave you an STD, and how she's taking all your ch!t and now you're stuck with child support for a kid that is not yours, and alimony for a chick who treated you like hell, and you don't know what to do...


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

So did she make him use protection?

Get tested for stds, and run far away.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Q tip said:


> :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:
> 
> Wow, was not aware. Great observation Philly!


yes and he is probably pretty good at math too


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

From your other thread.....



> At this time she also had an abortion. We decided both that it is the best thing to do after she got pregnant.


Consider, for one moment, WHY she decided to have an abortion. Could it be because she was unsure of who the father of the baby was? And then allowed you to "talk her into it" or "agree with her" that it was "the right thing to do" so as to cover her tracks?

Maybe that's not it. But it's a valid question. A question, given her distant and past cheating history, you will NEVER have the answer to.

Do you really want to stay with any woman where this question would even be on your mind when your child is born? Where when the child finally arrives, and then begins to grow, that instead of just enjoying this, you instead are looking for characteristics or signs the child is really yours. Or even contemplating a paternity test to make sure?

She cheated on her last boyfriend (for 6 months I might add) while she was dating you. Now she's cheating on you. See a pattern here? What...you think "this is different" and she won't do it to you?

Stop letting her justify, rationalize and minimalize her pizz poor behavior. YOU are part of the problem here. You're allowing this to happen. Just next her azz, and learn from this experience.

I will never understand a man (or woman) who thinks they can have a relationship with someone who they met when that someone was CHEATING on SOMEONE ELSE, and then get all shocked when that person then does it to them! Can't think of a single, bigger, "danger...run away, and run away fast" type red flag than that!


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

summersoul said:


> At that time she already slept with him. So now she is saying it wasn´t cheating because we were technically broken up. But the affair started when everything was fine. But she is telling that that wasn´t physical at this time and got physical after we broke up. But for me it wasn´t a real break up, but a rocky argument.


 She started seeing another man with romantic intent even though the two of you were still a couple in an exclusive relationship. She got emotionally involved with this other man. She wanted to sleep with him, so she considered an argument as a breakup, and used it as an excuse to allow her to slept with him. Secured a romantic relationship with a new lover while still in an exclusive relationship with you is cheating regardless of when the sex took place.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Come on dude. This girl is about as attractive as herpes. Get some self esteem and let her "blossom" into the full blown skank she aspires to be.

She has shown you what she is about. Be worth more. Leave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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