# Checking things out



## w2bw (Nov 14, 2018)

Hello TAM Community,

I had previously checked out some threads here when the more faith based marriage forum I usually read started losing steam. I'm mostly just looking to read and maybe comment on a topic or two.

A little about me/us. We've been married nearly 30 years, have 3 kids with one away at college. We got married right out of college and have a pretty good relationship. The biggest area of struggle has been sex and intimacy. I should have known things were awry when "we" decided to regain some level of purity before getting married. "We" decided to stop having sex until we were married, all while we were living together. In the 12 or so months that ensued, we didn't slip up once. Looking back, I should have seen the handwriting on the wall.

So, I'm here trying to determine where things are headed and how best to get there.

Looking forward to getting to know some folks here and maybe participate.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I don't like reading between the lines, how about just coming out with specifics. After 30 years and 3 kids, surely you are comfortable enough to have a talk with your wife, you know, something like...hey baby, MORE SEX!!!


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

You lived together for twelve months and no sex??? My God, the things that religious beliefs make people do.

Nonetheless, you don't give enough info as to what happened after you got married. 
All I can interject from your post is that you most be a passive guy. You're probably lacking in the assertiveness department when dealing with intimacy issues with your wife, and you just let it slide all these years.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Can't call it Bait and switch if she took away the bait before setting the hook.

I've been married for 31 years and quite frankly it is way past the time when this can be fixed. We were 3 kids in before sex started to drop off. Still in the more than weekly category up to a year ago.


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## w2bw (Nov 14, 2018)

Mr. Nail said:


> Can't call it Bait and switch if she took away the bait before setting the hook.
> 
> I've been married for 31 years and quite frankly it is way past the time when this can be fixed. We were 3 kids in before sex started to drop off. Still in the more than weekly category up to a year ago.


Obviously, there is much more to my/our story. This was just an introduction post and not really a request for input. Although, I am happy with the things people have said. We will see if anything can be improved, but I very much doubt it at this point.


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