# Dirty talk



## iceit4me (Jun 20, 2010)

My husband always wants me to talk dirty to him during sex. It makes me feel cheap and used. I told him how I feel and he doesn't seem to care. Would this be considered a form of abuse?


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Talking dirty is fun sometimes it just spices things up but if you aren't up for it stand your ground and don't do it. personally I think you both should give some ground here and there and accommodate the others desires. but if anything is an absolute no for you or him then you should tell the other no and why and they should accept your wishes too.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would agree with the other poster, but add that it's hardly abuse. Just because someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, even repeatedly, doesn't make it abusive. Otherwise, a lot of parents of teenagers would be in jail for asking their kids to get out of bed and clean their rooms. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I agree with Stonewall.

Your husband should respect your inability to feel comfortable doing this, and you should respect his apparent desire for something different. You both need to work together on other things that you BOTH like and are willing to do.

I know my husband would like ****ty, dirty talk too, but honestly I just start giggling and cracking up - it just isn't me to be like this. We kind of compromise in that I whisper things - not necessarily really dirty or foul languaged - and then I give him little smirks and kisses, and he seems satisfied with that.

Godspeed.


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## EvanderS (Jul 1, 2011)

To me dirty talk doesn't have to be dirty.

I agree that being verbal can be very difficult. However being verbal in sex makes it more real. It also provides more feedback to my partner. I think there is something quite erotic and powerful about the voice of my lover.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

A LONG time ago in another lifetime, a knew a girl that would be really turned on by this.

her favorite thing to say was :

"Eff me like the b!tch that I am!"

The only thing is, it just made me laugh more than anything. But she'd say it pretty seriously.

Needless to say, the b!tch that she apparently was, wasn't for me ultimately.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Abuse? I think that's being a bit dramatic. I find it difficult to understand why you would feel "cheap" talking dirty during sex with your husband, assuming it is just you two alone in a private space. Most men want a classy woman outside the bedroom and a "s!ut" inside the bedroom. His asking you for dirty talk indicates your sex together is becoming routine and he's trying to instill a bit of variety and excitement into it. Read this forum about some of the "fetishes" people have written about themselves or their partners and count your blessings. The next time you have sex with your husband, act like a s!ut and keep him happy.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

What type of dirty talk makes you feel used? You don't have to say degrading things. You can say thinks like "Eff me with your big co ck" or "Do you like that, you nasty boy?" or "Yeah, rub my ____" stuff like that. 

I would encourage you to maybe figure out why this makes you feel degraged (especially with someone who loves you and married you) and see if you can meet in the middle.


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## mkl (Jul 9, 2011)

I like a little dirty talk, helps keep me in the zone! Otherwise my mind want to think of all the things I have forgotten to do before bed (putting the clothes in the dryer) lol! It's harmless, you just have to work your way into it.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

mmmmmm....I love me some dirty talk in bed!

I am usually the one who does it, sometimes hubby will join in.

I am 36 now. When I was in my early 20's and with EX dh, I was very timid and when he brought up that we should "dirty talk", I was very embarrassed and shocked he would want to.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

love dirty talk too...

but the minute anyone asks me, "Who's your daddy" i will promptly laugh my butt off


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> love dirty talk too...
> 
> but the minute anyone asks me, "Who's your daddy" i will promptly laugh my butt off


hahaha No kidding!


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## complicated (Jul 11, 2011)

My husband wants me to talk about having sex with other men and repeatedly has me talk about f--king other men. He wants me to call old partners when we are having sex, wants me to have sex with them and then tell him about it. He takes pics of me and then wants me to send them to other men.
It seems the only way he gets "off" is this way.
I am so hurt and tired and it has caused me to not want to be with him. He says its all just games but not for me, he takes it so far and I never feel the "connection" with him.
To make matters worse I was molested as a child and this triggers all kinds of bad feelings.
I've tried for years to please him but now I'm past all that and in menopause and just want the real connection. I keep myself fit and looking good but it's not the relationship I want with my husband. He is overweight and makes me feel like his ***** and not his love. We have been together for 15years and I feel disconnected more and more....


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## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

So just humor him is it that hard , whats the big deal is it really that horrid . Do you think he likes everything he does for you ... in and out of the bed room.


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## mkl (Jul 9, 2011)

complicated said:


> My husband wants me to talk about having sex with other men and repeatedly has me talk about f--king other men. He wants me to call old partners when we are having sex, wants me to have sex with them and then tell him about it. He takes pics of me and then wants me to send them to other men.
> It seems the only way he gets "off" is this way.
> I am so hurt and tired and it has caused me to not want to be with him. He says its all just games but not for me, he takes it so far and I never feel the "connection" with him.
> To make matters worse I was molested as a child and this triggers all kinds of bad feelings.
> I've tried for years to please him but now I'm past all that and in menopause and just want the real connection. I keep myself fit and looking good but it's not the relationship I want with my husband. He is overweight and makes me feel like his ***** and not his love. We have been together for 15years and I feel disconnected more and more....




Dirty talk only works if it’s respectful to the both of you. Sounds like he just has a fetish. 
Dirty talk between a husband and wife that are in love and just enjoying each other is different than a man that is trying to have a secret fantasy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am more of the dirty talker than my husband, sometimes it bugs me , I want him to flirt more, I do not feel it is a form of abuse, I do feel if he wants this very badly, I think you should try to provide it in some form. If my husband was a complete bump on a log and never said anything flirty to me, I would get so terribly bored with him, I am not sure what would happen. 

It is fun, it can be learned to a certain degree. We can all step up the game a little. When you do it, it makes you feel sexy , it makes him feel more energized and HOT , all good things to shake it up in the bedroom. 

Unless he is being excesslively vulgar or something. There is a reason sex hotlines makes a ton of $$, some men LOVE this .

Try a book like this, enhace your sex life ! That is a gift you can give to your husband. 

Amazon.com: Talking Dirty: A 3 Step System of Mastering the Art of Bedroom Talk (9781448658794): Nate Hawking: Books


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## Malky1954 (Jul 11, 2011)

My ex used to love talking dirty - describing all the things I was doing to her (and her to me) and the things that she wanted me (and others) to do to her - especially when we could be overheard!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

iceit4me said:


> My husband always wants me to talk dirty to him during sex. It makes me feel cheap and used. I told him how I feel and he doesn't seem to care.


If you're not enjoying it and you've expressed to him you don't like it, I feel he should respect that. However I wonder why it makes you feel cheap and used? Maybe it's because he doesn't care that it makes you feel that way. 

Otherwise I'd be suggesting if you know you're loved and you trust him and know that he respects you, dirty talk doesn't mean he thinks of you in that way (or that you think it of yourself) outside the bedroom... also describing the motion or body parts is another way of dirty talk. It doesn't have to be so-called 'demeaning' language. 

For your benefit, I'm wondering if you could get away with whispering something like "I'm your naughty little princess" instead


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## Closer (Jul 15, 2011)

Oh dirty talk... I just love it when a woman knows how to do this. It makes me want her more than other women.

I'm a one-woman type guy and in my experience, dirty talking can really turn me on. It stimulates my brain even when I feel tired or stressed, this technique really works to increase my sex drive to the point where I want to ravish my woman.

So every woman must learn this if they want to increase the quality of their marriages.


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