# Brother is perpetually unlucky in love



## scienist2 (May 16, 2014)

Hi there,

I have a brother (different fathers), who just got the worse side of the bargain in most cases.

He is less talented, has some weight problems, does not have much self-confidence.

But he is good-hearted, kind, always there to help.

He has had a girlfriend for the past few years that is just ok. The looks are not there and her somewhat annoying personality might create some problems down the road. There is not much passion in their relationship.

They have been together mostly because there was no one left from their circle of friends. 

He said to me at some point: "I know that she is not perfect and the passion and spark is not there for us. But not everyone can get as lucky as you with love (my ex was very pretty and very smart... but that's a different story) and I do not want to be alone."

He said this with tears coming down his cheeks. This was a new low for me in this life. I do not know how to help him.

Any hints, please?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Since when is someone's fitness level a function of 'luck'?





scientist said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I have a brother (different fathers), who just got the worse side of the bargain in most cases.
> 
> ...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

scientist said:


> *He is less talented, has some weight problems, does not have much self-confidence.*
> 
> But he is good-hearted, kind, always there to help.
> 
> *He has had a girlfriend for the past few years that is just ok. The looks are not there and her somewhat annoying personality might* create some problems down the road. There is not much passion in their relationship.


Sounds to me like they are a pretty good match. Are you saying he "deserves" a woman who is more attractive than he is?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I'll say it again, luck has nothing to do with it. 

I agree with MEM.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Advice huh. There are at least two issues. The first one is that he can be more attractive but it's a lot of work. The second issue is he's worried about what other people have rather than being proud of what he has. His self esteem is hurting his opportunity as well. Did you know that Michael Sheen has had long term relationships with Kate Beckinsale (married to her) and Rachel McAdams (two years). Now if we all want to start keeping score then that's hard to top. The think is we don't need to keep score and you brother shouldn't either.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

When I was 18 I realized the odds of a woman tripping and impaling her vagina on my penis were just to high, and started taking serious measures....I had 3 serious relationships in the next 6 months....Ya just gotta get up off your a$$, and get busy to get LUCKY....And lucky doesn't have a thing to do with what your family thinks of your woman....


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I've seen some not so attractive guys get hot girls. Not because they were pushover and the girls used them.

These guys oooozed self confidence and had that no nonsense ****iness. In other words being a man.

But you know what, to get that to happen, they literally were rejected over and over and over until they hit jackpot. If you can't handle rejection, you better get lucky in love or just settle.

Even a not so pretty girl will reject a good looking guy at times. Why, because he's a jerk or some other qualities that make him not attractive to her, even if he's a 10 by other people's standards from the outside.

You can be a 10 on the outside but a zero on the inside. Looks only get you so far in life, if the looks ever go and you've got zero personality, you're screwed.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Like others have pointed out, you mention that her looks are not there but it doesn't sound like his are either. Why exactly is he entitled to someone more attractive than him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

scientist said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I have a brother (different fathers), who just got the worse side of the bargain in most cases.
> 
> ...


If he wants a better girlfriend, he has to make himself a better man. 

Don't get me wrong: Luck (attractive appearance, attractive basic personality, etc.) is great to have, but if you don't have it, it's time to buckle down and *make it happen*.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

It's entirely possible to be very happy with someone who's not stunningly attractive on the outside. I'm not, objectively speaking, a beautiful woman. My SO is not, objectively speaking, a wildly handsome man. We both find the other _very_ attractive. We mesh well, are very compatible in nearly all the ways that matter, and truly enjoy one another's company. And, neither of us thinks we're somehow "missing out" or "deserve someone hotter" than the person we're with. Perhaps that's a function of maturity, or simply of personality. But both of us are able to be happy with a great partner we have, without feeling a need to keep shopping for better or to compete with those around us on who has the hottest mate.

The feeling that one is entitled to more or better is, in itself, an unattractive trait that's likely to run off prospective partners. No one likes to realize that they're the person their partner is settling for until the hottie they really "deserve" shows up.


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