# Question for the ladies



## jrj4auburn (Oct 11, 2014)

My wife will occasionally give me oral sex but it's normally to warm me up for sex. That rare occasion that she will go until I have my orgasm, she will use her hand and won't even consider going all the way with her mouth. I've asked her to compromise but she won't budge. If I'm about to orgasm, she wants my semen as far away from her face as possible. I've asked on many occasions for a compromise and she won't budge. If a women doesn't like the taste, there are others ways to perform oral to make me happy, but she won't budge on that either. It bothers me so much because it's like she really doesn't care about my sexual desires and in her opinion I should be content on what she can offer. 

Here's what I'd like to know from other women. 
1. Do you feel like her and think semen is absolutely gross?
2. If you don't care for going all the way when performing oral on your husband, would you consider a compromise?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

1. No
2. Yes


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

What every other woman on the planet thinks isn't relevant.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

What kind of compromise?

In your other thread you said 
_My wife claims she likes being touched all over and she wants me to be aggressive. I desire different positions, oral and I'd like my wife to make the move on me to make me feel like she really wants me. I just really feel like she's not interested in me because when we do have sex, she rarely has an orgasm_

First off, IMO, I would make sure she's regularly having orgasms before you start worrying about Bjs. 
A satisfied woman is more likely to want to give. 
I used to love giving Bjs, that stopped as I realized my Os were not a priority.

That may not solve her semen issues but it might make it easier to compromise around it. 
Have sex the way she wants to for a while and then once she knows you are taking her needs and wants seriously, I would bring the BJ issue up again.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jrj4auburn said:


> My wife will occasionally give me oral sex but it's normally to warm me up for sex. That rare occasion that she will go until I have my orgasm, she will use her hand and won't even consider going all the way with her mouth. I've asked her to compromise but she won't budge. If I'm about to orgasm, she wants my semen as far away from her face as possible. I've asked on many occasions for a compromise and she won't budge. If a women doesn't like the taste, there are others ways to perform oral to make me happy, but she won't budge on that either. It bothers me so much because it's like she really doesn't care about my sexual desires and in her opinion I should be content on what she can offer.
> 
> Here's what I'd like to know from other women.
> 1. Do you feel like her and think semen is absolutely gross?
> 2. If you don't care for going all the way when performing oral on your husband, would you consider a compromise?


Answer #*1*... No (but wasn't always this way)
Answer #*2*... I think we all should compromise- when we love... give it a try at least once... when it's something the other REALLY craves.. when it would mean so much to them (if reasonable, of course). 

My evolving... When I was younger...I had some sexual hangups due to associating oral sex with PORN.. (stupid I know







)...it just seemed DIRTY TO ME...I was uncomfortable going there...my husband never pushed.. (I think he should have tried much harder to get me to be more open) but since he didn't.. I didn't do Bjs.. He never complained...(If I was the man, I am sure this would be a completely different story)...
Then I had a sexual awakening..and







... was that shot out the window.. Love them now, couldn't imagine sex without it.. if I am going to take him to the end, I'm ready for the shot -give it to me..... Sometimes I shallow.. sometimes I spit in the sink... wouldn't have it any other way.. I love the ending just FEELING he's lost in eruptive pleasure, I want his experience to be the BEST it can be. 

I guess there is always hope..* I think it's a mindset*...unless she has some, even mild, OCD tendencies with sexual juices I suppose. Semen is good for us... lots of vitamins in there..



> 10 Surprising Health Benefits Of Semen | YourTango
> 
> Yes, you read that correctly — semen is healthy for you! 5 Health Benefits Of Having Sex
> 
> ...


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

I'm not sure how you could compromise. You want to finish in her mouth and she doesn't want you too. I think you should be happy with what she gives you, I see a lot of posts from men who don't get any oral sex from their wife.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Happilymarried25 said:


> I'm not sure how you could compromise. You want to finish in her mouth and she doesn't want you too. I think you should be happy with what she gives you, I see a lot of posts from men who don't get any oral sex from their wife.



So he's not entitled to his own feelings or wants? He should just be happy with what he gets? Sorry that's not how it works.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Quote: WorkingOnMe;10640778]So he's not entitled to his own feelings or wants? He should just be happy with what he gets? Sorry that's not how it works.[/QUOTE]


Sometimes it is. What if his feelings and wants included pain for her? What if his want is constant porn star sex? None of us are entitled to every want we might have. .... we all need to decide if what we're getting is reasonable. What if her wants include daily flowers and chocolates? Diamonds? To pound him with a strap on when he doesn't want it? Maybe not reasonable. She doesn't want him to finish in her mouth, and frankly I don't know who gets off on something they know their partner hates. She's giving him oral, so perhaps he should consider whether this is a worthwhile fight.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

In any of those examples each person remains entitled to feel happy or sad. Telling someone to just suck it up and be happy is just wrong. It's the kind of dismissive attitude that sours a lot of people's feelings toward marriage.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You know, the ceo of Microsoft got in a lot of trouble for saying the same thing.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I've never had a problem with semen. Or BJ. I like to give them.

However I stopped giving them in February because i did not feel wanted or like my sexual needs mattered to DH. 

From hour other post it sounds like your dw feels that any sex she gives you is a compromise. It's already a compromise because she would likely be giving you no BJ if it were her choice. So I don't think under the circumstances that you are going to get much farther down that road until your intimacy issues are resolved. 

Ps - I had to point out to DH that I stopped the BJ in February. He had not even noticed. So there's that. We are back to trying to work things out though. It's taken me over a year but I am finally able to be blatantly honest about the situation. 

I will be happy to resume BJ as soon as I feel we are on more equal sexual footing and I'm getting as much as I'm giving.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> In any of those examples each person remains entitled to feel happy or sad. Telling someone to just suck it up and be happy is just wrong. It's the kind of dismissive attitude that sours a lot of people's feelings toward marriage.



I personally wouldn't tell him to suck it up, I would only suggest he consider how important it is. If it's worth an argument by all means have one, but pushing something your spouse doesn't want rarely ends well, that's why guys in sexless marriages where wife doesn't want sex are often advised to leave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You know, the ceo of Microsoft got in a lot of trouble for saying the same thing.



The CEO of Microsoft got in trouble for saying that women shouldn't ask for a raise. Not men, but women. Completely unrelated to this. ...OP is entitled to ask for anything he wants and he has asked, only the answer was no. It would be nice if she'd accommodate him but she won't, so now he has to decide what it's worth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think each person should do their best for the other in bed - including sometimes giving sexual treats - things that they don't really like but that their partners enjoy.

To some men a BJ to completion is very important - it seems like a small thing to ask to make a partner happy. This assumes that the man is willing to do whatever his partner wants in bed .


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Can we all please agree to stop with "pounding him in the a$$ with a strap-on" analogy to EVERY single he-wants-it-but-she-doesnt issue? It's getting as tired as hitler references in the politics section.

Honestly? Comparing a BJ to pegging? really?


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## poolboy (Sep 3, 2014)

i like a good pegging on occasion


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

So is that now "Fozzy's law" all discussions of sex differences turn into pegging discussions?

(similar to Godwin's law for Nazis)



Fozzy said:


> Can we all please agree to stop with "pounding him in the a$$ with a strap-on" analogy to EVERY single he-wants-it-but-she-doesnt issue? It's getting as tired as hitler references in the politics section.
> 
> Honestly? Comparing a BJ to pegging? really?


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

If she goes down on you but doesn't like to eat it, why push it? I like giving and receiving oral as a primer but I want my *** to go somewhere else.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening badcompany
different things (eg fetishes) matter to different people. This is important to some.



badcompany said:


> If she goes down on you but doesn't like to eat it, why push it? I like giving and receiving oral as a primer but I want my *** to go somewhere else.


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## jrj4auburn (Oct 11, 2014)

I've been reading the responses, I just didn't see the need to respond any of the replies. I was hoping for more informative replies. 



Lila said:


> I think OP is gone. Hasn't replied to his threads in a few days.


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## Joylush (Sep 28, 2013)

Whether it's gross or not depends on the man. Have one now that is not in the least unpleasant. He doesn't drink alcohol and drinks a lot of water. He smells wonderful everywhere. I don't mind him finishing in my mouth at all. It's not gross. But I do tend to want to devour him. The only fear ever of him ejaculating in my mouth is you just have to prepare for it because if you're not it can envoys a gag reflex but not due to be gross- due to being unexpected.


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