# Don't know what to do!



## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

My wife and I have been together for 15 years and we have had good times and bad .
Now we are at the point of divorce . I have a lot emotion right now.
Started we moved for her job in that time my mom passed a way and I was mad and sad
That I was so far away to see her and say goodbye I did make it to her but not be for she was out of it not a wake 
To find out my wife has been talk with a coworker and thay both have feeling for each other 
Don't know what to do.
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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Jay3805 said:


> To find out my wife has been talk with a coworker and thay both have feeling for each other
> Don't know what to do.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 How long do you think this EA has been going on? Ad did your w say what she wanted to do about it?


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

doureallycare2 said:


> How long do you think this EA has been going on? Ad did your w say what she wanted to do about it?


She said about a month. She not clear on that. She told me that we would talk about it
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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Jay3805 said:


> She said about a month. She not clear on that. She told me that we would talk about it
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh the dreaded talk!
Make sure u put an end to this!
Do not leave the talk without it.
If she refuses thn people csn offer advice on where to go from there.

Keep us updated my friend
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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> Oh the dreaded talk!
> Make sure u put an end to this!
> Do not leave the talk without it.
> If she refuses thn people csn offer advice on where to go from there.
> ...


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

Jay3805 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks I will still don't know if I want to keep the hurt and no sleep thing going sucks bad!
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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

do you have kids? if not pack up and leave tonight.


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

terrence4159 said:


> do you have kids? if not pack up and leave tonight.


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

Jay3805 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No I have kids do I try to work it out or what?
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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

Jay3805 said:


> No I have kids do I try to work it out or what?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well we talk a I ask her if she wants a divorce she did not say yes or no. She tells me that she is disengage in are relationship. Any thoughts on this
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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

If I could rewind time, I would do everything over. If she wants to have the "talk", I suggest you be firm and hold your ground. If she is having an Emotional Affair, you tell her to cut it off immediately and by that you say if she has contact again, you will leave her. If it has progressed to a physical affair, you tell her you are finished and threaten to slap divorce papers on her. 

In the end, the decision will be yours, I just suggest not being soft and giving in to what she wants. Its not you that is having the affair, so don't let her take advantage of you. You may lose her with this approach, but can you see yourself sharing your wife with someone else?


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

I agree with alpha, now is the time for you not to be a co-enabler and to be strong for her as well as yourself. What do you expect from her and from yourself, how you want to be treated and how she wants to be treated? Do not be a doormat in fear of losing her. Be calm, rational, you can express love but willingness for your health to let her go. It’s hard but I wish I would have done it years and years ago. also is she willing to go to MC?


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

doureallycare2 said:


> I agree with alpha, now is the time for you not to be a co-enabler and to be strong for her as well as yourself. What do you expect from her and from yourself, how you want to be treated and how she wants to be treated? Do not be a doormat in fear of losing her. Be calm, rational, you can express love but willingness for your health to let her go. It’s hard but I wish I would have done it years and years ago. also is she willing to go to MC?


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## Jay3805 (Feb 17, 2013)

Jay3805 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks for the advice I think I need to be true to my self. Look real hard at myself 
And see what I need in life. Its too bad that the hurt and Pain have to come with this
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