# question about no contact?



## bertie (Apr 28, 2012)

Hi
Husband and I are in the middle of a no contact period (initiated by him to see if the feelings come back) which has a specific end date. My question is do people think it's negative that he hasn't broken the no contact or would people not expect him to contact until the end of the time period regardless of whether he's thinking positively or negatively? 

Thanks in advance for your help!


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Why are you in no contact? What has been going on? 
To me it seems odd. I have heard of WS going no contact with their affair partner but I have no heard of couples doing it.


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## bertie (Apr 28, 2012)

We had got into a rut and then on top of that some hurtful things were said. We stayed in regular contact for quite a while (which was very up and down depending on the day) but he found that it was confusing him as he wasn't getting space to work out what he feels/whether he misses me or is just used to me being around etc.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Absense does not make the heart grow fonder.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

The general understanding is that absence and distance is a disservice to romance and it's true in most circumstances.

Most people are able to adapt to not having their loved one around. That's how humans can tolerate their death. 

If however, your husband comes upon a difficult situation where he would've felt emotionally safer with you, he will definitely act upon this feeling and try to seek comfort from you.

It's fairly obvious that your husband is either feeling emotionally safe with another person or he just doesn't have a reason to seek your companionship at this moment. Maybe he's living a very dull life and your presence makes little difference to him. This usually stems from depression (men are highly prone to such depressions).

Your husband will definitely miss you but chances of your marriage working out after such an arrangement are very slim.

He will only come back to you if he loses interest in his current lifestyle and sees no light at the end of the tunnel for himself. That rarely happens when people go their own way. That's why separation is never a good thing for romance.


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