# Should married couples discuss politics?



## Zora (Aug 2, 2010)

My husband says yes. He thinks it's educational. He likes to educate me.
I say no. It is all about being right. I know from my experience that if we disagree on even one point it's off to the races.
I don't need this. Let's talk about something we know we can agree on and save the in depth discussions for more personal subjects.
What do you think?
-Zora


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Zora said:


> My husband says yes. He thinks it's educational. He likes to educate me.
> I say no. It is all about being right. I know from my experience that if we disagree on even one point it's off to the races.
> I don't need this. Let's talk about something we know we can agree on and save the in depth discussions for more personal subjects.
> What do you think?
> -Zora


I guess I don't understand why a married couple can't discuss any topic. 

I discuss politics, religion, morality, and all sorts of other topics with my husband. You're supposed to be able to discuss topics with your spouse, not walk on eggshells around them.

It sounds like you two need to figure out HOW to reasonably discuss a topic on which you both have different opinions. Avoiding the topic entirely is an easy way to avoid fixing a larger problem in the relationship. I mean what are you going to do for other topics that you don't see eye to eye? Avoid talking about those too?

There's a book called Lovebusters. It's by Dr. Harley. It has a section I think on spouses who like to lcture other spouses. I don't know if your spouse will read the book, but you might find it helpful.


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Op - Does your hubby like a good debate? Or is trying to convert you? 

I will discuss/debate most things... but personally don't like discussing subjects with people who have polar opposite views to me. It seems pointless. You just go in circles.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes, of course a couple should be able to talk about any issue, including politics.

My partner and I are on opposite sides of the political divide and we talk about it often, especially ATM as we have a Federal election coming up.

OP adults should be able to discuss any topic with respect. If you two are unable to discuss politics without it blowing up then there is a respect issue in your marriage.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes a married couple should be discuss politics, religion and any other topic one or both of them want to discuss.

If you don't know your spouse's politics then you don't know your spouse.

It sounds like your husband, and maybe even you, don't know how to have a discussion about politics without getting upset about it. That's the problem.

Put the effort into both of you learning how to allow each other their opinion, not try to push your opinion on the other and agree to disagree.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you can DISCUSS politics fairly, it's fine. If one is trying to make the other adopt their perspective, or puts down the other's views, then it's not okay.

We can discuss politics because our views are similar, and where they differ, we can have a fair debate of the issues. Since so much of politics is lies and smoke and mirrors, issues are open for discussion, but politicians may not be in some cases.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I'd think so. Here's an example of a couple that can. 










A Perfect Marriage: James Carville, Mary Matalin


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Zora said:


> He likes to educate me.
> I say no. It is all about being right. I know from my experience that if we disagree on even one point it's off to the races.


So it's not about a discussion, per se. It's about him taking a stance that he is right and you are wrong.

In this case, it appears "right" is a highly subjective term when it comes to your husband.

My husband is pro-abortion and pro-gun control. I do not agree with his stance on these hot topic issues. However, I RESPECT his right to have his opinions/beliefs. And he respects mine. We agree to disagree.

We live in a democracy. We have the freedom to believe as we so desire.

Sure, you can avoid discussing certain subjects with your husband. But marriage is supposed to function as a democracy as well.

Sounds like the problem with discussing politics is just a symptom of a somewhat deeper issue ...


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Zora said:


> My husband says yes. He thinks it's educational. He likes to educate me.
> I say no. It is all about being right. I know from my experience that if we disagree on even one point it's off to the races.
> I don't need this. Let's talk about something we know we can agree on and save the in depth discussions for more personal subjects.
> What do you think?
> -Zora


My wife and I talk about politics ALL the time..

We have always been able to keep the discussion civil.. and focused on the subject.

But, we do that in everything we argue about...


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

We discuss politics, religion, religious views, world news, astronomy, laws of physics, laws, video games, marriage, affairs, tv, movies, economy, food, dating, divorce, funerals....

It does get heated sometimes. Sometimes it's a debate, sometimes it's a general conversation. We might have certain subjects inside certain topics we can't come to and understanding and let it be.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

My H LOVE discussing politics and world leaders. He have read so many autobiography and biography across a whole spectrum of people. But his favorite is world leaders and politicians. He even read different biographies on the same person. He like hard copies of books, I like Kindle. Sometimes he will buy a kindle book for me and I know that mean I enjoy this book so much I want to discuss it with you. That's how much of our politics discussion come into play. 

Frankly politics put me to sleep. I haven't been into intellectually stimulating conversation since early on in pregnancy.


----------



## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Yes, you should be able to discuss politics without either party being too much of an a!!.


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I think it is good for couples to discuss things as long as they remain respectfull of each other right to hold differing opinions.

You do not have to agree with your partner on everything (live would be boring if you did) you do have to love them.

N.B. My wife is more Liberal than I am on most political subjects but thankfully she is tolerant of my veiws.


----------



## antimattercrusader (Aug 20, 2013)

In my opinion, Yes - but you must both be open minded to each others views and ready to respectfully disagree without letting it get heated, especially if politics are important to either of you and/or you are on opposite sites of the spectrum.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

antimattercrusader said:


> In my opinion, Yes - but you must both be open minded to each others views and ready to respectfully disagree without letting it get heated, especially if politics are important to either of you and/or you are on opposite sites of the spectrum.


:iagree:

A lot of people are not mature enough to understand that there will always be someone else who hold a different view to which they don't suscribe.
That's why I always say,_ " live and let live."_

My wife is non political, she has NEVER voted.
I used to be a political activist , and a main contributor to a political online forum . I also wrote a column on politics in one of our local newspapers, for a short time.
My wife has always read my columns and sometimes agree, but many times disagreed, but we have never fought about it.
In fact many times we have teased each other and had a hearty laugh.

However, I'm no longer involved in politics, she laughs and says that I've finally seen the light.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Zora said:


> My husband says yes. He thinks it's educational. He likes to educate me.
> I say no. It is all about being right. I know from my experience that if we disagree on even one point it's off to the races.
> I don't need this. Let's talk about something we know we can agree on and save the in depth discussions for more personal subjects.
> What do you think?
> -Zora


I had to laugh when I read your post, as I confess that my opinions on politics can be rather strong at times. 

That being said, yes, I agree with your husband and others here that anything, including politics should be discussed. You see, you and your husband can be polar opposites in your viewpoint, however, what is supposed to happen is that somewhere in that discussion you find common ground. That is the whole point of the discussion; not necessarily being "right", but finding resolutions to the issues that you don't agree on.

My son and I have some rather interesting discussions on politics, however, since we love each other, we not only respect each others opinion but attempt to find ways to actually fix problems, which is what our real politicians are supposed to do. Compromise. It's sort of a game that my adult son and I play at times. It can be educational for both parties in seeing the opinion of the other.

Try not to take it all personally. Try not to hold firm to being "right" and request that your husband do the same. See each others positions and try to find resolutions and compromise. Pretend that the fate of the Country is in your hands to fix the problem by finding that compromise. And enjoy the part where both of you understand each other better.

Political discussions can be fun.


----------

