# itchy, scratchy, ANNOYING



## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

my husband decided to grow a beard. First time in 30 years that I've been with him. Usually he gets impatient and shaves it. I hate it rubbing against me..and oral sex, forget it..all I can think about is how scratchy it feels. The guy is so damned proud that at 47 he was actually able to grow a beard, that I don't want to tell him how much I hate it. He would absolutely shave it if he knew. I am hoping he just gets sick of it on his own, but if not..those of you with bearded spouses...do you ever get used to the feel of it..or dare I say..even "like" the feel?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I love beards, love the way they feel, but that's not going to help you any.

I guess maybe in your shoes I'd set a mental date, give it a chance, but then if I still hated it after all that time, I'd let him know. Do it in a very kind way -- something about how you love the way it loooks on him, but it just doesn't feel good and it's interfering with your sex life.

Good luck!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think beards are nasty and unsanitary. But that's just me. If I met someone with a beard, I would not be attracted to them. I find them almost repulsive. I don't know why either. lol. Hubs can't grow one (he's not hairy) so I'm happy about that.

Hopefully your husband gets sick of it on his own, but then again, he could wear it forever more.  Ew.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

that_girl said:


> , but then again, he could wear it forever more.  Ew.


yeah, thanks for reaffirming my biggest fear.:lol: I wish I was like lamaga and actually LIKED the look, but I am like you. Honestly, when I look at him and see the hair curling around his lip area it makes me sort of nauseous  . 

He's such a good guy though. Works his ass off for us and never does anything for himself. I hate to kill his fun. 

At this point I'm thinking we may have to install another bathroom in the house. The amount of time he spends analyzing it in the mirror from different angles...using scissors and a razor to neaten it up..admiring it...it's starting to interfere with our overall family function.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My ex had a goatee and it was nasty. So, I feel your pain. I couldn't imagine a full beard. I would have been completely turned off.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

full beard? no way jose

I refused to let my ex grow a beard, I told him if he did I wouldn't kiss him any more (perhaps that's why he left!!!)


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Wife loves my goatee and she got upset when I shaved it last year, guess my hair is silky smooth


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Either that or your face looks funny without it. My dad had a mustache forEVER! He shaved it one day and omg...he had no upper lip!  He looked so weird! We begged him to grow it back. Much better with the cop mustache.

My ex looked weird without his goatee too *He randomly shaved once and our daughter wouldn't go near him* LOL!. His hair was smooth, it was just nasty...the whole idea of it grosses me out. lol.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

My H also went through a phase like this. He actually looked very good in it, but it was very scratchy, and I found it annoying as well. After me pulling away from him and not finding as much enjoyment in some of our favorite activities , he did decide to shave it off all on his own.

Little did I know then what I know now, though. One of my brothers has a beard and always has. I happened to mention to my SIL how did she stand the darn thing. She said that it helps that he keeps it cut close, he washes it often, and he conditions it! 

Honestly, I had never even considered him doing that. Might be something your H could try first. Since he likes grooming it, you could give him a beard grooming kit with some things to try out. When I asked my SIL, she said this is what my brother currently uses as a conditioner:

Amazon.com: Beardsley Ultra Conditioner for Beards 8 oz.: Beauty

Best wishes!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Grooming a beard is important, and conditioner does away with any scratchiness. Also, a daily drop of hair serum works wonders


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

As it gets longer, its not as scratchy. 

Without hurting hubby's feelings (like saying you hate it & can he shave it).... You could just tell him that it's a bit more scratchy & rough than you'd thought it would be. That you heard about using conditioner on it to soften it up.

My hubby uses conditioner on his & it helps a LOT. I can tell when he's not using the conditioner again... Even just by looking at it. Its more "wirey" & course looking. I want to get him to try a deep oil therapy treatment on it.. but I'm afraid it would cause skin outbreak with pimples under it all. (Not nice for him.)

But when he uses conditioner on it on a regular basis, Even just the look of it is much more controlled & smooth looking. Then i'll rub my fingers thru it & say "Thanks for using the conditioner.. it feels so much better this way!" & hope he gets the hint to keep it up.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Oh.. and for the oral sex.. when he trims it & its too short & scratchy.. and if he "really" wants to go down, then you can have him put a small washcloth (dry or moist, doesnt matter) under his lips, over chin... so that your thighs, etc, don't get rubbed from the beard growth.


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## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

I like the look of scruff, but can't stand the feel! I hear you there!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife HATES BEARDS or facial hair.
Sometimes, whenever we have a prolonged quarrel,I grow my beard to annoy her.

Clean shaven makes my face look " boyish". I like the rough look.
she likes the smooth look.
Smooth Look = More Loving [ Caressing,Touching,etc ]
Fortunately I prefer more loving than having a beard

She always wins that beard argument !


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Moustache woman here. I've never dated a man who didn't have a 'stache. Just my own quirk. When I first dated hubs, I commented about my fixation with moustaches. Within two weeks, he was growing one. 

And the advantage is, a well groomed one looks quite nice ... and it doesn't gouge out my "naughty bits" during oral. 

Again, JMO. And, I suppose, my fetish!


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

My hubby has a chin strap and it looks so sexy on him. I'm not big on regular beards though, and scruff may look sexy but feels like sandpaper. Not my thing.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I'm a fan of stubble/growth rather than full facial hair if that makes sense. My guy isn't very hairy but he had a time of not shaving. He grew his hair a bit longer too. I loved it. He looked like Dave Grohl; it was uncanny. I liked the look but it did get a bit scratchy. I had a love-hate relationship with his facial hair.

I told him that too... love the look but it's scratchy. He told me he was leaving it a while longer. It was quite the achievement for him lol. We both knew when he'd go back to corporate his look would need to change, so I rolled with it. 

I think tell him your preference is shaved.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I love when hubby shaves. He rarely does it maybe a job interview or boss man is making the rounds. 

Anyway just after the 3 or 4 day stubble growth, I love it. 

It's scratchy but not sand paper. His hair is soft. After it grows in meh. I'm weird.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Some guy's beards ARE a little rough around the edges. It might look great to both of you which is wonderful.

The only thing is..they're scratchy as hell in delicate places!!

There IS help out there for that though. When he takes a shower...ask him to put some conditioner on his beard to soften it. It won't work immediately..but it's a great start!!


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## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

Personally, I LOVE facial hair on my man... it's so... manly  haha. 

Hubs uses conditioner and I've never found it scratchy, so maybe hair type has something to do with it? Get him to use some beard products and see if it helps lol.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

Thanks for all your responses and also your suggestions on how to cope should he decide to keep it. It is really hot here now so I occasionally ask him if his beard is itchy in this weather...to which he replies "only when people ask me that " . I'm thinking this, along with a subliminal message audio tape played while he is sleeping ..."...I hate this beard..this beard is so damn itchy...", and he just might abandon the idea on his own.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

free stash rides to the moon!!!!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Oh my goodness... I'm in the exact opposite boat as you... I LOVE facial hair! I practically cry at the end of each weekend when hubby shaves for Monday mornings. 

I love the look, the feel, everything. It's just so... Manly! Rawrrrrr!!! 

I wouldn't tell him anything, especially since you KNOW it will produce a particular outcome... He WILL probably get sick of it after the novelty wears off. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Little Bird said:


> Personally, I LOVE facial hair on my man... it's so... manly  haha.
> 
> Hubs uses conditioner and I've never found it scratchy, so maybe hair type has something to do with it? Get him to use some beard products and see if it helps lol.


OMG!!! I so didn't see this before I posted!! Great minds think alike!!! Hahaaa!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Either that or your face looks funny without it.





nope, had the beard for 9 years or so, known each other for 18 years


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