# Could you forgive this?



## blyjette (Aug 17, 2008)

****MASSIVE TMI WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!*****

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Imagine that you're sleeping alone, on your stomache, drifting in and out of it you feel someone holding you. You cuddle close to them before you realize fully what's going on. Then you feel has hands rub your back, butt, then between your legs, you start to wake up a little and realize that it's your husband. You like it until you are more awake and remember that you're separated and it would make things more complicated. Your body tightens up and your face is burried down into the pillows. He keeps touching you and trying to turn your face to his, to kiss you. Your body remains tight, unwilling to give in. After about 10mins you feel him pulling at your shorts and underwear. You buckle and don't move, he pulls harder, finally taking them off. He continues to rub you, and tries to kiss you again. You tell him no so he moves his head down. After another 5 mins or so, you roll over and try to tell him no. He's not paying attention and he's going at it. He's fingering you and licking you, you try and push him away but instead he moves your hands to his crotch. By this time, you shaking and you don't know what to do. You want him off of you but you don't want to wake your 14month old daughter. You keep pushing on him, he keeps ignoring it. Finally he comes up but leaves his fingers there. You're still trying to push his arm away but you can't, he won't let you. Finally after 20mins of fighting he stops, you pull the covers up over you. He's looking at you and then he tells you that you really want it and his hand goes back down between your legs. You push his arm away again a few more times, cross your legs. Your body is shaking and your lips and chittering. Then he lays his head on your chest and begins to cry telling you that he was sorry, then he is just so horny that it hurts. You just nod, not sure what to say, still scared. You tell him that you're ready for bed and you have to get some sleep. Before leaving he asks you if you want to give him a hand job. Anger rushes through your body and you quietly tell him no. He instist on putting your shorts and underwear back on, you don't want him to touch you. He won't leave it alone so he finally does put them back on. He leaves the room, you curl up into a ball and try and go to sleep. When you awake in the moring, he tells you that he's sorry and that after thinking about the whole thing, he was wrong to do so. Would you forgive him?


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

hi, 

thank you for sharing. this is not highly sexual just very detailed. 

i would not forgive him because he invaded your privacy while you are in a vulnerable state i.e. sleeping and that both of you are legally separated. the more i read on, the more i got the feeling of raping tendencies especially when you said, "no" even though he did not force his penis in, but he did digitally (finger wise) rape you, cross boundaries, and clearly sexual harassment. the decision is up to you whether or not you want to press charges if you decide to file a report. 

however, i do not know the reason of your separation, so my suggestion might be far too rash. it is up to you and your responsibility to decide. if you want your husband back in the long run and are separated for reconcilable reasons talk to him about your boundaries and what is not accepted. this is your body and if you say no, no means no. 

also have your child sleep in the room with you in his/her crib. lock the door and windows for safety, and put 2 rubber slippers under the door. along side that keep a cell phone available by your bed in case anything is to happen if you choose to decide to forgive him and he still resides in your house.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

well i do not no the norm, maybe other divorced couples can help you, but I do know couples that were goingt hrough divorce and still had sex up to 6 months after the divorce was over.

While your situation was different, I would have him move out so this doees not happen again.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

if you dont want someone to touch you , its called rape.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

blyjette said:


> ****MASSIVE TMI WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!*****
> 
> Imagine that you're sleeping alone, on your stomache, drifting in and out of it you feel someone holding you. You cuddle close to them before you realize fully what's going on.....


Am I correct in your words? You were sleeping alone and then your husband came into your room, to have sex, right?

I know we as women do not like to think that our husbands are capable of rape, BUT because you told him no and he continued to have sex with you anyway, this constitutes rape.

If you want to save your marriage, then I would definitely tell him how you feel about what happened. But don't stop there. You also have to decide if you want him to stay in the same house as you now that he has violated you. If you decide that it is best *for you* that he moves out, then I would suggest that you tell him as soon as possible. Delaying things can sometimes make it harder for you to do.

Also, sometimes men just don't get it and sometimes you have to explain to them why you feel what they have done is wrong. I would make sure to also tell him why you feel violated and why you are not comfortable with him being in the house with you.

I wish you the best of luck and stay strong.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

taking the story at face value (assuming no important details were omitted), i would definately say he was wrong and his actions were unacceptable


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

No, means no, hun. I don't care if his best friend never talks to him again, or he was a horny toad. If a man goes on and takes it anyway..it's rape. This doesn't give him the right to take it when ever he wants it, just because he is married to you, hun. Love shouldn't be taken, it should be given.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

The first time you said stop he should have stopped. Just because he is your estranged "husband" doesn't give him the right to keep going. As it has been said it is rape.

Have him move out and change the locks.

draconis


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## Sweet love (Sep 10, 2008)

Go ot the police and report him for rape that will teach him.


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## staylor1 (Sep 21, 2008)

NO...


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## MEM (Sep 15, 2008)

He has violated your most private being. He has crossed the boundary! 

No, I would never forgive him for this.

He needs to move out today!!!


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

I'd forgive him.


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## Mrs B (Sep 29, 2008)

I am not sure I would forgive that. It's rape.


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## allaloneinbr (Sep 29, 2008)

Has he ever done this before? Have you been fighting and he has tried to make up with you and been really forcefull for make up sex? If he has then I would say it is a pattern and he thinks it is ok and will probably try again (IT IS NOT OK). If not and this is the first time (IT IS STILL NOT OK) but I would give him
a chance to talk about it as he was sorry and showed some remorse. If he is defensive and thinks that you are over reacting or something then I would do as the others suggest
either kick him out of the house or get a lock for your bedroom door, that way you can feel safe and if he is trying to get in the room you will hear it. Good Luck Honey things will be ok!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

snix11 said:


> I'd forgive him.


And we all know why


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