# To divorce or not to divorce....



## ricordia (Oct 26, 2015)

I am truly struggling on what I should do. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 8. I have been unhappy for the past 7 years, and even more over the past year. He is a good man, but I feel he is not the right one for me. I dread coming home and having to deal with him. Whenever I see him, I feel resentment, disappointment and anger inside. Angry, because I should have broken this relationship up years ago and not have kids with him. But that is all water under the bridge. At the end of the day, the only question I have to myself is whether I should stay in this unhappy marriage for the sake of my kids? Or firmly ask for divorce to find myself again? He is a very good father, and my kids are overall very happy. Some of my friends tell me the pasture is not greener on the other side, so I should stay and try to work it out. I've been trying for the past year, but feel I am always back to square one every couple months. I just have no love left. My heart feels very empty and lonely. Some of my friends say this is not how I should live my life, and should be a better role model for my girls by leaving to find my own happiness. Others say the only one who knows the answer is myself. However, I feel so lost. To divorce or to not divorce? Tis the question I have.......


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

ricordia said:


> He is a good man, but I feel he is not the right one for me.


He's a good man, but you're not satisfied? Maybe my new post here applies to you? (see halfway down)

But maybe there are some really terrible things you haven't written yet?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

only you can decide but unhappy for 7 of the 8 years you have been married says the relationship is not good for you. while you need to do all you can for the well being of the children staying together is not necessarily the best thing for them. I assume you have tried to work things out to a better place with your husband including counseling?


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

ricordia said:


> I am truly struggling on what I should do. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 8. I have been unhappy for the past 7 years, and even more over the past year. He is a good man, but I feel he is not the right one for me. I dread coming home and having to deal with him. Whenever I see him, I feel resentment, disappointment and anger inside. Angry, because I should have broken this relationship up years ago and not have kids with him. But that is all water under the bridge. At the end of the day, the only question I have to myself is whether I should stay in this unhappy marriage for the sake of my kids? Or firmly ask for divorce to find myself again? He is a very good father, and my kids are overall very happy. Some of my friends tell me the pasture is not greener on the other side, so I should stay and try to work it out. I've been trying for the past year, but feel I am always back to square one every couple months. I just have no love left. My heart feels very empty and lonely. Some of my friends say this is not how I should live my life, and should be a better role model for my girls by leaving to find my own happiness. Others say the only one who knows the answer is myself. However, I feel so lost. To divorce or to not divorce? Tis the question I have.......



Divorce is tough and should never be taken lightly. Have you tried marriage counseling before with your husband? Or maybe individual counseling for yourself? I personally believe that you shouldn't stay married just because of the kids if you are unhappy. When I was a kid, my parents did that, and everytime they were both in the room with us kids there was so much tension and I could sense the unhappiness that I basically kept myself to my room. Maybe they were bad at hiding it, I don't know. When my parents finally decided to divorce, they both ended up being happier and I ended up being happier too. I didn't want them to separate or anything but it was either that or stay in a negative filled house. Maybe you should try counseling or if you are certain you want a divorce then take a peek at this link, it could help you. Free Divorce and Free Divorce Papers - all 50 States - Document Do It Yourself Service


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Without knowing the specifics of your marriage, I would not stay together purely for the kids. As a kid I remember going through this with my parents. It was thoroughly uncomfortable being in the house with them. Even if they though they were hiding it, I knew things weren't right and it just wasn't a positive environment. I actually wanted my parents to divorce which they eventually did (then got remarried back to each other only to divorce a second time...).

Staying together b.c you think it is the best for the kids isn't always the best option, even though it may sound like it is.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

There is more to this story than meets they eye. Perhaps you could go into more detail?

What have you done to examine this relationship and have you done any sort of self assessment?

Did you place your happiness on this man is some way that you wont fully acknowledge? Feelings of resentment often stem from an agreement with yourself that "John will make me happy." 

John isnrt responsible for your happiness.
You are.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

ricordia said:


> I am truly struggling on what I should do. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 8. I have been unhappy for the past 7 years, and even more over the past year. He is a good man, but I feel he is not the right one for me.
> You have not said why he isn't the right one! You married him! Why is he not the right one NOW??
> 
> I dread coming home and having to deal with him. Whenever I see him, I feel resentment, disappointment and anger inside. Angry, because I should have broken this relationship up years ago and not have kids with him.
> ...


Has HE been trying? It takes two to make a happy marriage. I'm divorced, so I admit I'm not an expert!


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Why are you putting your happiness on the marriage. We are responsible for our own
happiness. Just asking but could the problem be you. It looks like once the new wore 
off the marriage so did your happiness. This could follow you around. I am just pontificating
here and this very well might not be the case. Not enough info.


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