# Im married but cant help thinking about my ex BHC all of the sudden



## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Recap: We met 4 times in London, been together for about a week, have sex 3 times, then he flew back to Australia. He was 17 yrs older than me, our sex was like fire x fire, emotionally and physically. We keep in touch for like 1 month. I wanted to settle down a relationship, not just hanging there somewhere, long distance. But he's not too ready, and obviously, i cant wait...

So i dated again, met my husband, got married, changed my number. Australia emailed me a couple of times saying he misses me, wanted to have a family with me etc, but I rejected him and said i don't want to be in touch cox im married.

That's it 4 yrs i am living in a happy marriage, never think of him. Then all of a sudden, last week, i heard a song, and all of the memories about him came back, (I blamed lockdown ) especially his big hard ****, BHC omg. This is when the problem started. I decided to email him, he replied immediately. It has been 3 days so far, we sent 1 email each day saying 1 random thing about the past. He keeps repeating about want to have children with me, (He's single and never been married)

My problem is:
1. I can feel our Sexual Connection is still so strong, i can't help thinking about his BHC, especially when we did oral
2. My Husband is a good man, but not like when we 1st met, sex these days is just something "Need to do". I felt very lazy having sex, maybe i watched too much porn 
3. ATM i can only think of confronting the Australian that im still obsess with his ****, then hopefully i will feel free after

Im sorry if this is the wrong thread but I really want an opinion from a man's point of view. I dont want my husband to be sad, but at the same time, i have to release this fantasy one way or another. Help, please!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Just stop now. You are going to destroy someone who loves you because you are too lazy to pursue it when him.

Go do something naughty and out of your comfort zone with your husband. See how he responds, he may be shocked at first but most men want that from their wives. The point is if you want a rush (which is what this is) give your husband the chance to give it to you first.

Your problem isn't your husband or even this guy, it's that you are lazy. This guy affords you to have all the thrills without any real effort. If you were married to him you would eventually feel the same way about him.

You have agency in your sex life. Go make it better, more exciting - with your husband! He loves you and wants to have a family with you, but you can also have crazy sex if you take some control in that. And you know what it's real. He will love you when you are rough and smelly in the morning, and if you really open up your sexual nature with your husband with him, he will cherish and love you when you are pretty and smell nice at night.

At least give yourself a shot at that life before you torpedo it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

So you're going to wreck your marriage for a 17 years older douchebag that had no interest in you beyond sex and now has no problem interfering in a marriage?

If he wanted children with you be wouldn't have jerked you around in the first place. He's using it as a bait tactic because he knew you wanted that.

Cut it out before you do something idiotic.

FYI, I was married to a guy 19 years older. It's a terrible idea for many reasons.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

No. Before you really mess up your life. No.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I'm a man, and the only thing on my mind right now (that I'm allowed to share) is "WTF did I just read" and feeling like that's enough internet for the day.

Some fantasies are better left alone. This would be one of them. Stop talking to the guy and stop trying to feed into the fantasy, it will go away again. If you aren't happy with your sex life then go talk to your husband. If needed, get some marriage/sex counseling. If that fails, divorce. Then go have all the cocks you want. Sheesh.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If you want to let this awful man who thinks nothing of going after another mans wife ruin your marriage then go ahead. Honestly, sometimes I just despair. This man is very bad news, and will almost certainly not be faithful to you anyway because he has no moral values. Cut off contact and be thankful for what you have is my advise. You knew him for just a few days, jumped into bed with him and now you think you know him? Wow, you are deluding yourself big time. Are you so shallow that a man's large penis is THAT important. Sheesh. Stop wasting you time thinking about him and get back to real life with your husband. You are not free to persue anyone, you are a married woman.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Never heard that BHC abbreviation until today. I learned something new, thanks


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

He wants to start a family with you. And you believe that. I won’t call you an idiot. I will say that I’d love to sell you a used car. 

btw, this is how it all starts for guys wondering how their wife could possibly betray them in such a vile way. It takes one stupid song and an email or text and they’re feelings for their husband are “poof” gone.

That’s how much their “love” amounts to.
This makes me never want to get married again. Ugh


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## OddOne (Sep 27, 2018)

Basically, your BH (make no mistake, he is a BH, as you are already emotionally cheating on him) is your plan B since you can't have your BHC ex. You care very little, if at all, about your BH. You just see him as your best option short of Mr. BHC. Your BH being "sad" will bother you for less time than it took you to create your account and post this thread. Moreover, I think you chose this forum intentionally. Not with the intent of getting diverse male perspectives, but with the hope that, based on the name, it would be full of rowdy dudes that think with their ****s. I.e., you posted with the hope of being encouraged to continue down the path you are on.

If or when you start talking about how "unmanly" and "boring" your BH is and "how super hot" and deserving of a "real man" you are, I won't be surprised in the least.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

He’s 17 years older, never married and most of his interactions are online and limited in real-time contact. So he’s old, and never been married. Repeat.

Ewww. Puke.

I am worn and weary when I hear yet another story of a grown adult not being able to live in the real world and amongst real people, tap tap tapping away on their phones and keyboards and thinking they’re in love.

I get it. I FEEL the excitement in your post!

How exciting!!! He wants to start a family!!! You - the reason why he’s never been married!! 

Got a credit card?? Tap away online and buy yourself a bomb handbag. I tell you, the instant gratification when that parcel arrives will be a far better use of your online time. And you to get to wear it all the time!!


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If you want to chase BHC just do the decent thing and get a divorce or ask for an open marriage.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You have created something in your mind that doesn’t exist in reality. He is just over the hill with a half limp tool these days and spends his free time organizing his different medications.
It would be awesome if you found out your husband was nailing some hot young chick from work.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Your poor husband deserves better.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Not sure how old you are, but you might want to start working on integrity, character, and faithfulness and grow up fast...


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

[/QUOTE]


sokillme said:


> Just stop now. You are going to destroy someone who loves you because you are too lazy to pursue it when him.
> 
> Go do something naughty and out of your comfort zone with your husband. See how he responds, he may be shocked at first but most men want that from their wives. The point is if you want a rush (which is what this is) give your husband the chance to give it to you first.
> 
> ...


Hi @sokillme , Thank you for your considerate comments, i understood everything you said, it's like what I would expect to hear from Father, if i go to church and confess my sin. (which is a very good thing, cox i cant go to church atm)
Digging deeper, i kind of have a problem with my brain, what happened is, every so often i will have evil/naughty thoughts (not just to do with sex) trying to take over my conscience, my moral, caught up with you in a weak moment when you just couldn't help.

Hence, i want to persuade that side of the brain (which holds so much of temptation) with real-life/hard evidence, say something that HIT me HARD, then the brain will realize slowly, voluntarily. (I did it 2 days ago, and last night i did my final give-in to the temptation, the ugly truth was revealed (similar to what you said in your comment "he affords me to have all the thrills w/o any effort" ) my brain has reached "self-realization".

FYI: Often enough, i felt like i can talk to the other conscience brain (ie: i can tell it what to do/think), apologize if TMI

(it's something like when your child is being naughty, you just SHOUT/SCREAM and told her to STOP, YOU CAN'T DO IT, instead of explaining to them why they shouldn't do it and give them an example of the consequence etc (hope you get what i am trying to say)

I ended everything last night, i did a filter on gmail (which will delete immediately from that incoming address) Again, I thank you for spending time on my Q, i sincerely grateful to a person like you, because it does help!


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> So you're going to wreck your marriage for a 17 years older douchebag that had no interest in you beyond sex and now has no problem interfering in a marriage?
> 
> If he wanted children with you be wouldn't have jerked you around in the first place. He's using it as a bait tactic because he knew you wanted that.
> 
> ...


Hi Mod, Thank you for taking time writing me your opinion, and i appreciate that you shared your story @lifeistooshort. 
Haha, my sis would say this tone to me, i bet (ie: " Gently shout at me, silly girl, but not cruel, cox she cares) just like you, i can feel it from your writing. So thank you again, and can i send a virtual hug  
Also, NO, i would never do anything to harm my marriage, just trying to destroy the seed, before it becomes weed.


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Openminded said:


> No. Before you really mess up your life. No.


Thank you, I agreed, NO


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

bobert said:


> I'm a man, and the only thing on my mind right now (that I'm allowed to share) is "WTF did I just read" and feeling like that's enough internet for the day.
> 
> Some fantasies are better left alone. This would be one of them. Stop talking to the guy and stop trying to feed into the fantasy, it will go away again. If you aren't happy with your sex life then go talk to your husband. If needed, get some marriage/sex counseling. If that fails, divorce. Then go have all the cocks you want. Sheesh.


Hi, thank you for your comment @bobert , i am sorry to hear about the experience that you have encountered over the internet, my "story" to be specific. 
And Yes, WTF, to be honest sometimes i don't even know what i was thinking at that time,
Unfortunately, I made myself a vow of never getting divorced (long story), 
(*Realistically, "we can't always have what we want", taking an ie of the current situation: Covid-Lock down, It's kind of hard dont you think?)*
The bold line above, i said it as a joke, with a hope of cheer you up a bit, after your "traumatic" experience with the internet ( and im sorry if it only makes thing worse for your feeling)


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> If you want to let this awful man who thinks nothing of going after another mans wife ruin your marriage then go ahead. Honestly, sometimes I just despair. This man is very bad news, and will almost certainly not be faithful to you anyway because he has no moral values. Cut off contact and be thankful for what you have is my advise. You knew him for just a few days, jumped into bed with him and now you think you know him? Wow, you are deluding yourself big time. Are you so shallow that a man's large penis is THAT important. Sheesh. Stop wasting you time thinking about him and get back to real life with your husband. You are not free to persue anyone, you are a married woman.


Hi @Diana7 , i read your comment, I think this is something my Tarot Reader and my Mom would say to me, im very happy to hear your saying above. It contains awakening points that i needed, especially the last sentence. It's all true, yes, i was a fool, thinking i knew him. 
After this "incident" i will make sure i strengthen my Emotional State and not rely on Feelings too often. I Thank you X


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Trident said:


> Never heard that BHC abbreviation until today. I learned something new, thanks


I did not know about it either, until you mentioned it, only try to make it short and less freakout.
You don't need to thank me


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> He wants to start a family with you. And you believe that. I won’t call you an idiot. I will say that I’d love to sell you a used car.
> 
> btw, this is how it all starts for guys wondering how their wife could possibly betray them in such a vile way. It takes one stupid song and an email or text and they’re feelings for their husband are “poof” gone.
> 
> ...


Hi @Evinrude58 , I guess the "rich in emotional", who can feel and empathy with a different group of people, they do have flaws, they also have a moment of weakness. Except in my case, im lucky enough to prevent the serious stuff beforehand.
"Yes, i did believe it for a couple of min, 10 maybe, it's no lie, if you call me an idiot  cox it's true.
"Yes, some guys may wonder, but some guys will come and talk to their wife, if they care enough. My 60yrs old friend, who married to same women for 30yrs say to me, communication is a must. You have to make sure your partner feels like they can talk to you/you willing to talk to them (how to do so, i trust you know much better than me  )

"Yes, you may say "poof" gone, for some random stupid reasons, but gone where, gone for how long, and will you want to pull it back or just sit there and watch it's gone? (I didn't mean to sound like lecturing, i also have my issue, but im sorry if it does to you)

Last point, "Love in Marriage is like a Light button, sometimes it's ON, sometimes it's OFF. But As long as there is electricity (Truly Care) running inside the Wall, Marriage will always be illuminated"
I pray that there will be time when you happily reverse the last sentence in your comment. 
FYI: "What kind of car you are trying to sell, cox i can only drive Automatic" 😁


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

SourApple07 said:


> I did not know about it either, until you mentioned it, only try to make it short and less freakout.
> You don't need to thank me


I'm a bit um.. curved. So mine would be BHCC.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Luckylucky said:


> I am worn and weary when I hear yet another story of a grown adult not being able to live in the real world and amongst real people, tap tap tapping away on their phones and keyboards and thinking they’re in love.


SourApple07, read this and ponder it. He's a beyond middle aged man who is sending out feelers for some attention as his lifestyle choices have, predictably, left him old, single, and with a much smaller dating pool full of women who ain't got time for guys like him. 

Statistically, there are slightly more women than men born. Adding to the imbalance, men tend to die earlier than women. Usually around middle age and later middle age, decent single men are sought after by divorced, widowed, and never married career women who are ready for a life partner. Available men have become more scarce, though, as many are married or have sadly died. Women actually compete for the few single decent men. Yet no one wants him and he's trolling online desperate enough to look up someone he barely knew many years ago. There is a reason for that. Probably many.

I'd bet my last $5 you are NOT the only woman he sort of used to know he's sent messages to. I'd also bet that he, as a person, and his life as presented to you online are only loosely based on a true story.





SourApple07 said:


> I made myself a vow of never getting divorced (long story),


That isn't in your control alone. Your husband could decide unilaterally to divorce you at any time and for any reason. Chatting with BHC would be a damn good reason if he were to discover it.

For someone who claims they don't want a divorce you're sure acting in a way that could very easily see you divorced whether you want it or not.


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

OddOne said:


> Basically, your BH (make no mistake, he is a BH, as you are already emotionally cheating on him) is your plan B since you can't have your BHC ex. You care very little, if at all, about your BH. You just see him as your best option short of Mr. BHC. Your BH being "sad" will bother you for less time than it took you to create your account and post this thread. Moreover, I think you chose this forum intentionally. Not with the intent of getting diverse male perspectives, but with the hope that, based on the name, it would be full of rowdy dudes that think with their ****s. I.e., you posted with the hope of being encouraged to continue down the path you are on.
> 
> If or when you start talking about how "unmanly" and "boring" your BH is and "how super hot" and deserving of a "real man" you are, I won't be surprised in the least.


Even though i couldn't see any advice from you, I Thank you for taking your time writing it down your "judging sound kind of like thoughts" To be honest, part of me would feel frustrated like you, seeing a post like that!

Except in the end, after those aggressive lines, maybe I'll give them a solution/advice, as they did ask for help in their post. I also would not say what you wrote is wrong or right (i never judge people, "we will never be in their shoes to feel what they felt like, or where they have been through, to do what they did), at least not the exact same shoes.
Hence FYI, i purposely i posted on this thread, cox i believe "Man knows his tricks best, i trust they may be able to reveal the more convincing truth, about what i am facing. 

And Judging "ME" based on my user name, oh man! you just reminded me about a funny story "After sex, Alex signed and just starring at the ceiling for a long time, that makes Dorothys, his girlfriend so worried. She asked Baby what was wrong"? Alex replied: Ohh, i just looking at the spider creating his web on the ceiling" 😁 

I always hated to eat apple, but yesterday, just to clear off the fruit bowl, i have to and somehow it's so sour. Hence SourApple


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> He’s 17 years older, never married and most of his interactions are online and limited in real-time contact. So he’s old, and never been married. Repeat.
> 
> Ewww. Puke.
> 
> ...


@Luckylucky i found quite entertaining your words, but you are telling the truth about my "past" reality, so thank you for stopping by and commenting


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> If you want to chase BHC just do the decent thing and get a divorce or ask for an open marriage.


Hi MJJEAN, thank you for your opinion, maybe "chasing" is not quite the correct word that describes how i felt on the post. I appreciated your thoughts on this matter


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> You have created something in your mind that doesn’t exist in reality. He is just over the hill with a half limp tool these days and spends his free time organizing his different medications.
> It would be awesome if you found out your husband was nailing some hot young chick from work.


@Mr.Married Thank you for your bright and clear statement! Im with you  
And yes it would be/would be not awesome, but i'll be happy whoever my husband decided to be with, me or not. Cox before we are husband and wife. We also strong-bonded friends, who can always talk and listen to each other.


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

frusdil said:


> Your poor husband deserves better.


Yes, a better me. (and im fighting everyday)


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

sunsetmist said:


> Not sure how old you are, but you might want to start working on integrity, character, and faithfulness and grow up fast...


I am mid 30s, yes i am working on growing up fast. Thank you for your comment


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Of course your sexual connection is still strong, because you both left on a good note, i will tell you right now that if you had stayed with him and eventually gotten married you will feel the same way you feel with your husband...the difference is that your mind is still living in the past, all those feelings you have with BHC are trapped in memories that bring you pleasure when you are alone...or when you have triggers (song) but hear me out it is not reality in the sense you live and exist in a life which requires to do at times mundane things, repetitive and yes both you and your husband have gotten lazy in your sexual escapades but that again happen to most couples when life and kids get in the way. 

You are locked in a fantasy that truly exist in your head, yes it was special, because you made it special, and yes if you saw him it would be special again but i tell you right now, even that special moments will not last over the weeks and months to come afterwards and you will be regretting your decision. You two had a moment, awesome, now leave it there, what you have now is a life, and a promise of better things if you only decided to take the control and talk to your husband about what you both need to make your marriage stronger. Don't destroy what you have for something that will really have a hard time comparing to what you once had.


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> SourApple07, read this and ponder it. He's a beyond middle aged man who is sending out feelers for some attention as his lifestyle choices have, predictably, left him old, single, and with a much smaller dating pool full of women who ain't got time for guys like him.
> 
> Statistically, there are slightly more women than men born. Adding to the imbalance, men tend to die earlier than women. Usually around middle age and later middle age, decent single men are sought after by divorced, widowed, and never married career women who are ready for a life partner. Available men have become more scarce, though, as many are married or have sadly died. Women actually compete for the few single decent men. Yet no one wants him and he's trolling online desperate enough to look up someone he barely knew many years ago. There is a reason for that. Probably many.
> 
> ...


(ie I wont sign the divorce paper, this is in my control, this is what i meant)
@MJJEAN Again, thank you alot for this 2nd comment of yours. This perhaps, after sokillme (1st commentor of the post) the full of fact/helpful/convincing opinion/advice that i have received since yesterday. Something i really hope to get out of this forum. And dont waste your $5 bet, I knew, you knew, properly everyone here knew. Take care, thank you!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

SourApple07 said:


> Hi @sokillme , Thank you for your considerate comments, i understood everything you said, it's like what I would expect to hear from Father, if i go to church and confess my sin. (which is a very good thing, cox i cant go to church atm)
> Digging deeper, i kind of have a problem with my brain, what happened is, every so often i will have evil/naughty thoughts (not just to do with sex) trying to take over my conscience, my moral, caught up with you in a weak moment when you just couldn't help.
> 
> Hence, i want to persuade that side of the brain (which holds so much of temptation) with real-life/hard evidence, say something that HIT me HARD, then the brain will realize slowly, voluntarily. (I did it 2 days ago, and last night i did my final give-in to the temptation, the ugly truth was revealed (similar to what you said in your comment "he affords me to have all the thrills w/o any effort" ) my brain has reached "self-realization".
> ...


OK so you don't have a problem with your brain. Everyone has exactly the same thing, even me. You are not special or struggling harder then anyone else, which is often used as a kind of excuse by people who act out poorly. For instance there is no long term marriage where there isn't temptation at times. The difference is with maturity and discipline you learn to control it like you did now before you go as far as you did. You also learn that in the long term the short term thrill isn't worth the long term pain.

What you need to do is start to concentrate on long term thinking. (I.E. if I do this eventually this will blow up but also, I want this, how can I get this without blowing up my family, or my job).

Your husband is in your life to provide you with that titillation you seek, if you try to seek it with him.

Listen, this is going to be your life. Temptation is not going to go away, learn the tools to control it. The best and most effective way to do so is to not put yourself in the position where you aren't tempted, but also be active in your life, be active with your husband, be active with doing productive things.


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Thank you to every one of you who has spent precious time, helping me out. I truly appreciate every thought. It is sorted, we have won the fight. (As i shared with sokillme, my brain (the evil part) has got what it came for, and realized the truth so it has learned) I'm no longer feels the temptation within my self/mind. 

After this i would like to say a few things: (Sorry i can't reply to comment anymore, my husband need me to help with our "work-out" (like some of you may suggest early on) 😆😂
1. Life is not always easy for everyone, in fact, the easier and more indulgent, the more Temptation will try to suck you in.
(Fight between Angel-Evil, Moral-Desire, Responsibility-Self fulfillment etc) 
We all need Tools (supporters, religions, mediation etc) and a kind Spirit ( like you all people on here) to help, to overcome.
So please carrying on doing what you are doing, use your words like a sword to SAVE others, look how you guys, complete strangers have helped me! (just don't judge those, who asked for help, cox in this case, your SWORD may do the opposite) 

2. To Summarised my incident, i needed help, so i GG (googled) and found this site. 
I did tell my husband this morning about what happened, (i am lucky, as much as he is (he said this, not me), that we are like best friend, before anything. I think this is the mechanism that works on me, as long as i don't try to hide things, i can be certain i wont feel regret about my actions. (ie: i came here, asking for help in order to prevent further thoughts, that may lead to action/ I told my husband the truth cox i can't live with lies ...) 

N.B I am more than once being cheated (and badly treated by man), constantly depressed, self-harm, used to be full of hatred, revenge, pain, loneliness, and some broken bits, I do remember the feelings.
I started to practice Buddism, i love going to church and talking to Nuns and Father, I learn to Forgive and Let go.
I believe in all Gods, Science, and the Universe. Again i THANK YOU ALL!

P.S I was thinking of posting a Question for tomorrow "How to cook your sour apples into a sweet jam"
(But i guess Admin not gonna approve it👀🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍎)


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Of course your sexual connection is still strong, because you both left on a good note, i will tell you right now that if you had stayed with him and eventually gotten married you will feel the same way you feel with your husband...the difference is that your mind is still living in the past, all those feelings you have with BHC are trapped in memories that bring you pleasure when you are alone...or when you have triggers (song) but hear me out it is not reality in the sense you live and exist in a life which requires to do at times mundane things, repetitive and yes both you and your husband have gotten lazy in your sexual escapades but that again happen to most couples when life and kids get in the way.
> 
> You are locked in a fantasy that truly exist in your head, yes it was special, because you made it special, and yes if you saw him it would be special again but i tell you right now, even that special moments will not last over the weeks and months to come afterwards and you will be regretting your decision. You two had a moment, awesome, now leave it there, what you have now is a life, and a promise of better things if you only decided to take the control and talk to your husband about what you both need to make your marriage stronger. Don't destroy what you have for something that will really have a hard time comparing to what you once had.


🙇‍♀️🤛👍💝


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## SourApple07 (Feb 1, 2021)

sokillme said:


> OK so you don't have a problem with your brain. Everyone has exactly the same thing, even me. You are not special or struggling harder then anyone else, which is often used as a kind of excuse by people who act out poorly. For instance there is no long term marriage where there isn't temptation at times. The difference is with maturity and discipline you learn to control it like you did now before you go as far as you did. You also learn that in the long term the short term thrill isn't worth the long term pain.
> 
> What you need to do is start to concentrate on long term thinking. (I.E. if I do this eventually this will blow up but also, I want this, how can I get this without blowing up my family, or my job).
> 
> ...


💝🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🤝👍👁
🙆‍♀️💪


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

The day you plant your seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Water your marriage, it will eventually pay off. 
You know what they say about low hanging fruit.


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## OddOne (Sep 27, 2018)

Just to be clear, I was referring, at least this was my intention, to the name of the forum/ sub forum, not your username. I have no issue with your username. The point is, I was very dubious of your motivation. Since your update I'll concede to having been mistaken. That said, something still seems off to me, but I digress. Best of luck with your marriage and hope you are able to continue to overcome temptations. I wish I could. I am a massive glutton. I'll leave you be now.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Have you considered that there is perhaps a demonic influence here? Tarot cards? Playing with those is like inviting evil in. Demons have the ability to insert things into our imagination and I'm sure they'd like nothing more than to have you destroy your marriage. If I were you- I'd go talk to a priest.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

CatholicDad said:


> Have you considered that there is perhaps a demonic influence here? Tarot cards? Playing with those is like inviting evil in. Demons have the ability to insert things into our imagination and I'm sure they'd like nothing more than to have you destroy your marriage. If I were you- I'd go talk to a priest.


Rock solid advice right there. Who needs support forums and therapists when all our relationship problems could be resolved with a few good splashes of holy water.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Trident said:


> Rock solid advice right there. Who needs support forums and therapists when all our relationship problems could be resolved with a few good splashes of holy water.


You don't believe in the Bible.. but do you believe in Tarot cards?


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Yes I believe Tarot Cards exist because I've seen them. No I do not believe flipping cards over and looking at a bunch of pictures that are printed on them has any bearing on predicting a person's future.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

_*I wanted to settle down a relationship, not just hanging there somewhere, long distance. But he's not too ready, and obviously, i cant wait*_

Your older man is single for a reason. Because he choses to be. It is no accident or circumstance. He knows what he wants and it isn't commitment. He isn't an exceptional lover by accident. He has had countless women before you. None of them could get a commitment from him what makes you so certain he will commit to you?

_*"He keeps repeating about want to have children with me" *_ A great salesman and or conman will promise you may things without delivering anything. Can you say for certain your Australian has not had a vasectomy? Can you really trust his word after only the handful of times you were with him. I understand the sex was mind blowing. Perhaps you should attempt to pursue the same quality sex with your current husband. Good husbands get harder to find the older you get. Don't take my word for it. You can always leave your current husband and find out for yourself whether or not he is easily replaced. 

You are obsessed with his (older man) ****. You may find it difficult to be obsessed with it if he gets seriously ill and you have to wipe his ass. He is 17 years your senior. Everybody gets old.

You may or may not have heard the following - If they are willing to cheat with you they are willing to cheat on you. 
Your older man is more than willing to lure you away from your husband. This isn't his first time doing this. It certainly won't be his last time.

If you choose to pursue the other man at the expense of your husband you may be happy in the short term. You will be bitterly disappointed in the long term.

Good luck whatever you choose.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Reading this thread gave me a SFC


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I’m not surprised at all that she suddenly wanted an old boyfriend’s BHC if she’s playing around with the occult. That’s what happens. Invite evil in and IN it comes.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Since this is in the men's section, men should take note of this gem! This right here guys is what you need to have in mind when she wants to get married. This is unfinished business she never spoke to the H about, and took the H option only because he was available. When you also factor in the now devastating financial matters men endure in divorce, signing those papers can be pretty scary, and require serious consideration. Obviously today, people totally ignore what VOWS are! After all, "until death" needs revised to "until death or divorce"..... It means nothing!


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