# My wife of over 17 years is leaving me?



## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

My wife and I have been together for 23 years. She was 17 when we first started dating. We have been together the hole time. We havent spilt up for even one day in all that time. I am to blame for this to a point. In 1984 I damaged my back in 89 I was paralyzed temporarily in a car crash with a smashed 30% L1 vertebra. 2001 I was hurt at work and blew out my L4 and L5 disc. At that time we moved out of state. To go work for my folks. To keep from blowing back out even more. We moved there and I started losing control of my left leg from nerve damage. So I was forced to have a operation. That means I could no longer work doing anything I have ever done all I have ever known. My L4 was bulging and my L5 was extruded to the point the doc said it was the wurst he had seen in 20 years. Needless to say I could not stand or sit for very long for a year. Not long after my dad went down in a plane crash. He lived but bled out and died two times before he got to the hospital where he was dead 30 mins before being brought back. The wishes of my stepmother. So now we have moved to a new state I have no job. I have lost my ability do the kinda work I know. We have no friends other then my stepmother that sees me as a strange bird in her nest. Around 06 we saw the economy taking a dump so we headed back to our home town. Dec of 07 I was rear ended by a 19 year old kid doing 80mph texting. He increased the L1 compression to 50% and my L4 L5 and found out I have kidney disease . Ya it finaly broke me. And I started having social depression. I have not been able to work this whole time. Not by my wishes. Now we have two kids and my wife has gone back to work. The one place I didn't want her. A casino. She went there because she wanted to work at night and get up around 2pm for the kids. Now she makes more thena I can and because she sleeps I can't even try to get a job. And now after 23 years and not split up one day in all that time. She said she is wanting a divorce. She said it will help me get better. Cop out! What can I do? She said Im a good father and husband. I don't know what I will do if she leaves me. I love her more then my own life and I always will. .


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

Have you been able to get anymore info about why she wants to leave you besides her just saying she wants a divorce?


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

badlogin said:


> My wife and I have been together for 23 years. She was 17 when we first started dating. We have been together the hole time. We havent spilt up for even one day in all that time. I am to blame for this to a point. In 1984 I damaged my back in 89 I was paralyzed temporarily in a car crash with a smashed 30% L1 vertebra. 2001 I was hurt at work and blew out my L4 and L5 disc. At that time we moved out of state. To go work for my folks. To keep from blowing back out even more. We moved there and I started losing control of my left leg from nerve damage. So I was forced to have a operation. That means I could no longer work doing anything I have ever done all I have ever known. My L4 was bulging and my L5 was extruded to the point the doc said it was the wurst he had seen in 20 years. Needless to say I could not stand or sit for very long for a year. Not long after my dad went down in a plane crash. He lived but bled out and died two times before he got to the hospital where he was dead 30 mins before being brought back. The wishes of my stepmother. So now we have moved to a new state I have no job. I have lost my ability do the kinda work I know. We have no friends other then my stepmother that sees me as a strange bird in her nest. Around 06 we saw the economy taking a dump so we headed back to our home town. Dec of 07 I was rear ended by a 19 year old kid doing 80mph texting. He increased the L1 compression to 50% and my L4 L5 and found out I have kidney disease . Ya it finaly broke me. And I started having social depression. I have not been able to work this whole time. Not by my wishes. Now we have two kids and my wife has gone back to work. The one place I didn't want her. A casino. She went there because she wanted to work at night and get up around 2pm for the kids. Now she makes more thena I can and because she sleeps I can't even try to get a job. And now after 23 years and not split up one day in all that time. She said she is wanting a divorce. She said it will help me get better. Cop out! What can I do? She said Im a good father and husband. I don't know what I will do if she leaves me. I love her more then my own life and I always will. .


I am extremely sorry for what you have been through! That being said, you talk a lot about what happened to you, the circumstances and how you felt. But you did not mentioned your wifes feelings and what you love about her. It just seems you are afraid of being alone, now that you need someone.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Well, should I be afraid of losing the only thing that matters to me? What do I love about her? Well before this happened almost everything her smile kills me. I love when she smiles. I love her heart. I love her wants and desires. We see eye to eye on most everything. We agree on politics religion and and morals. We even agreon how to raise our kids. We met at a car show. We have the same hobbies except one, horses. We just can't afford that kind of hobby or the time it takes to take care of one. So we have a friend that lets her ride her horses.
The things she is mad about is good a reason. One I don't have a job. The second is I don't go with her when she takes the kids to do things. Man I didn't realize that I was doing that to the point it bothered her. I guess staying at home with the kids I start pulling my hair out. And I need a break. I never would have been like that if I had any idea. Another thing is things like me not understanding. She works till between 5am and 10am in the morning. I don't see her till around 3pm that after noon. And starts getting ready at 6pm for work. So when her days off come around it means. A lot to me that she gets all the rest she can get. So what happened is she didn't get any sleep. The day before she was off. So she needed sleep badly. She pops up and says on her day off she has to go in for a department wide meeting at 9:00am. You could imagine that I was not happy seeing the person I care or so much having to lose sleep she very much needs. So that night I wake up at around 2:30am and my wife is getting dressed. She said she couldn't sleep and was just going to go into work. I asked her what? We got in a bit of a tiff. And I and said she needed to figure it out and left and got doughnuts for; the kids. Yes yes I know I should have said that and I shouldn't. Have left. Before she started there we had a problem with the morals of casinos. And their environment. She didn't want to work at one and I didn't want her working at one. When she starts just going in because she can't sleep that bothers me. And at any other time it would had bothered her. That is what started this hole thing. I love her and yes because I love her I am afraid to lose her and my kids. And in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that and I should be..


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Well my wife went into work on her day off again. She has a test she says she has to take. She said it's going to take three hours. With interruptions. She is a cage supervisor so I could see the interruption thing. But why is there so many things she forgets about then has to go into work to do. I don't think she is cheating I just don't understand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

She's cheating, that is all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

keko said:


> She's cheating, that is all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You know I'm no mind reader but I don't think so. She could be because I would have said she would never leave me before now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Just secretly follow her when she goes to take these tests or work on off day and you'll see her new boyfriend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

keko said:


> Just secretly follow her when she goes to take these tests or work on off day and you'll see her new boyfriend.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


agreed.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Well you may be right. I see a list of text to a unknown number. Pleas help me save this! I'm going to get a print out in the moning of her phone calls and text.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Well It's a head of another department. I know the name. I am sure hat is job related. So her call history is clear. The only other thing it may be is Facebook. She did pull marital status. I love her so much I just want to work this out any way!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Why would you assume it's only job related? Why would a boss from another department have to text her on her personal phone? She doesn't work for him, what would they talk about?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

badlogin said:


> Well It's a head of another department. I know the name. I am sure hat is job related. So her call history is clear. The only other thing it may be is Facebook. She did pull marital status. I love her so much I just want to work this out any way!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's your guy. Tail your wife next time she heads for an uncalled work and you'll catch them in the act. Just keep your cool and dont get caught trying to follow her.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

You were right. She is deleting all messages from her phone from this guy. And they sent one last night. I have a print out of her text to and from numbers. Do I call her out on it? Can I kill her job by turning in the affair? Because I'm a stay at home dad if she leaves me and I don't have a job then she would have to pay for my living. Should I use that against her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Or should I keep the info to myself about the numbers? That way I can track her moves? Is there a way to see/read the text without the phone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Dont confront yet. Find out if the OM has a wife or girl friend? Ask a mod to move your thread to the infidelity area. You will get advice there.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Where do I find a MOD?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Deejo and sweetpea seem to be online now. Send them a PM.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Can someone move this thread for me please if it needs to be?
I went to my local church to talk to someone today. They tell me I worship her. That is part of my problem. My wife says I didn't show it. I know that she my be texting this other dude but I would take her back in a heart beat. It's killing me inside. I have lost ten pounds this week. And I am only getting a couple hours of sleep a night. I don't know how to cope with this and what it's going to do to our kids. She thinks it's not going to effect them. I come from a broken home she does not. She has no Idea what it does to a child. Please god help me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Thread moved to Coping with Infidelity.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Badlogin,

Sorry to see you here.

You seem to be attempting to stop the inevitable. She is gone, IMO.

However, give a try.

AU


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

I can't not fight! I love her more then my life. I'm not sure I want to live if she lives me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

badlogin, 

First thing get to the doctor tell him or her whats going on and get some meds to calm you down, to the point you can function.

Have you been able to find out anything about the OM?

Did you confront him or your wife yet?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

badlogin said:


> I can't not fight! I love her more then my life.* I'm not sure I want to live if she lives me.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You *MUST* lose this attitude. I mean, really, this is the way a love sick teen feels about their first crush. It's not the way a man who's worked hard most of their life and supported a family through tough times acts or thinks. 

Yes - love is a beautiful thing. But love comes and goes. You choose who you fall in love with. You weren't born with her name in your brain. You will and can survive without her if you must. 

This doesn't mean all is lost - but it most certainly will be if you act as if _you'll just die_ without her. 

Gather information about the other dude. Blow up their little romance. Act with determination and courage.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

badlogin said:


> Well my wife went into work on her day off again. She has a test she says she has to take. She said it's going to take three hours. With interruptions. She is a cage supervisor so I could see the interruption thing. But why is there so many things she forgets about then has to go into work to do. I don't think she is cheating I just don't understand.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Im going out on a limb here but I say she is cheating. Working long hours, going in on her days off, saying she wants a divorce and giving you a lame excuse. If you not going to family outings with the kids was her biggest concern you would have heard about it before now.

I would do some snooping! Can you look at her phone records?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

badlogin said:


> You were right. She is deleting all messages from her phone from this guy. And they sent one last night. I have a print out of her text to and from numbers. Do I call her out on it? Can I kill her job by turning in the affair? Because I'm a stay at home dad if she leaves me and I don't have a job then she would have to pay for my living. Should I use that against her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This post alone tells me there are other major issues in the relationships.

Not sure if infidelity is the only issue here.(Or if it is in the first place. Get some evidence first)


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> This post alone tells me there are other major issues in the relationships.
> 
> I'm sure there there are other things. This Job she works is just killing us. She works for our local casino. We are Christians and have always said that that nothing good comes from casinos. And when she first started there she said that there were so much cheating going on there. She would say she she wanted out. She had a fight with her manager. My wife has a great personal record with high marks all over and just got her review and it was darn near spotless. She tried to put in for a transfer. As soon as she did her manager dug up some trash that was not her record to stop the transfer. My wife went in grabbed her personal file and took copies. None of the accusation were there. But could do nothing about it. And shortly after she started to change. She stopped talking about all the bad things going on there. And almost started to seem to like it there. Oh I see POI! This is probably where this all started. It's my fault if I had not had the problem I have she would never had gone to work there.
> 
> Not sure if infidelity is the only issue here.(Or if it is in the first place. Get some evidence first)


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

badlogin said:


> I can't not fight! I love her more then my life. I'm not sure I want to live if she lives me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Stop this thinking.
She does not seem to be like this, is it not?
You will be alright, if you listen.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Orrrr badlogin, Im gut wrenched here reading your history. Sadly like many here I feel that your W has started a relationship with someone else and is moving toward making it a personal affair if she hasnt already. Its hard to admit it to yourself that the one and only in your life suddenly has changed and changed into someone you dont actually recognise. That is the first "shock" descovery. She is now fousing her emotions on someone else and you are clearly seeing something of that even if she denies it. Its the change in personality that gives it up. You really need to work on gathering evidence of what is going on, seek out legal information if only to give you peace of mind that if she drops a bomb youll know what to do and more or less how to proceed in protecting yourself and your state of mind which will take a beating over the forthcoming weeks. I sincerly hope that things work out the way you hope but I feel that the W's actions have already made huge damage to the chance of marridge survival


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Pault said:


> Orrrr badlogin, Im gut wrenched here reading your history. Sadly like many here I feel that your W has started a relationship with someone else and is moving toward making it a personal affair if she hasnt already. Its hard to admit it to yourself that the one and only in your life suddenly has changed and changed into someone you dont actually recognise. That is the first "shock" descovery. She is now fousing her emotions on someone else and you are clearly seeing something of that even if she denies it. Its the change in personality that gives it up. You really need to work on gathering evidence of what is going on, seek out legal information if only to give you peace of mind that if she drops a bomb youll know what to do and more or less how to proceed in protecting yourself and your state of mind which will take a beating over the forthcoming weeks. I sincerly hope that things work out the way you hope but I feel that the W's actions have already made huge damage to the chance of marridge survival


I sure hope it can be saved. She said can go see a therapist Monday. But she did warn me that she feels her mind is made up. Her push at the moment is for me to move out. She is not pushing divorce. That makes me feel like it will be one foot out the door. Could she be trying? The amount of texting has not slowed down. Her best friend and her husband are good friends of mine as well. He tells me his wife says my wife has not done anything sexual in her opinion. That may be the case but I find it hard to believe. I mean here I am again 3:12 in the morning still not sleeping and still not eating. I can't take sleeping pills I have kids to look after and get ready for school.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Ask your wife about this new guy..


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

badlogin said:


> I sure hope it can be saved. She said can go see a therapist Monday. But she did warn me that she feels her mind is made up. Her push at the moment is for me to move out. She is not pushing divorce. That makes me feel like it will be one foot out the door. Could she be trying? The amount of texting has not slowed down. Her best friend and her husband are good friends of mine as well. He tells me his wife says my wife has not done anything sexual in her opinion. That may be the case but I find it hard to believe. I mean here I am again 3:12 in the morning still not sleeping and still not eating. I can't take sleeping pills I have kids to look after and get ready for school.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Badlogin, 
Sorry pal. It looks bad. 

If you spend any time on this forum you'll find out that the relationship she has with this guy doesn't have to be sexual at all to destroy your marriage. She may have enough moral fiber to free herself of the commitment she has with you before getting physical with the OM. 
The drive and need to get physical with him can make her do very cold blooded things to get free. 

My guess is it's an EA and they feel like they are moral if they wait for an official separation.

The clock is ticking, you have to get proof and expose this or she will consummate this EA and then you may not be able to save it.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

dogman said:


> Badlogin,
> Sorry pal. It looks bad.
> 
> I have about 5 pages about 6 days of proof with the texts. I have been told if I use that, if she is trying at all it will push her away?
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Lets try that again. Man doing this from a smart phone stinks. I have 5pages of texts as proof and can get another 4. I have been told by others that if I use them and she is trying it will push her away. I can't risk that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

badlogin said:


> I sure hope it can be saved. She said can go see a therapist Monday. But she did warn me that she feels her mind is made up. Her push at the moment is for me to move out. She is not pushing divorce. That makes me feel like it will be one foot out the door. Could she be trying? The amount of texting has not slowed down. Her best friend and her husband are good friends of mine as well. He tells me his wife says my wife has not done anything sexual in her opinion. That may be the case but I find it hard to believe. I mean here I am again 3:12 in the morning still not sleeping and still not eating. I can't take sleeping pills I have kids to look after and get ready for school.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do not move out!

She will solidify her Affair with you out of he home.

Outta sight, outta mind. You moving out alleviates her guilt.

She is lying to you just by hiding the texts.

And if I were you I would go see an attorney to get legal advice and know your rights.

The first consultation is free. 

Do not tell her you are doing this.

I think her Affair is already physical. Sorry.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

badlogin said:


> Lets try that again. Man doing this from a smart phone stinks. I have 5pages of texts as proof and can get another 4. I have been told by others that if I use them and she is trying it will push her away. I can't risk that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bad, shes already requested a divorce!

She can't get much further than that. 

The church guy is right, putting someone on a pedestal devalues your affection and they frequently take it for granted.

Shes treating you and your children like sh!t but instead of being even the slightest bit angry you're a puddle of yourself and hopeing that she'll just magically wake up one morning and change her mind?

She won't and you have about one chance of ending this affair my friend. Blowing it up big time.

If you want to twiddle your thumbs, and be too scared of losing whats already lost to take action, then you're marriage has no hope of ever coming back.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN!!!

If you move out the OM can move into your bed!!!

She has already turned away. 

Do not fear. 

Noting you do to defend the marriage can make it worst.


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Okay got it. I will not leave my house or my children. I am just 120% Vested and still am. I see losing my wife my kids my home and a relationship. And now I have to look froward to no relationship kids when it's convenient no home no job and child support. I know Im not alone but it doesn't make me feel any better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

But you guys are a big help. Thanks for your input.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Start 180, straightaway.

Gather your strength.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Do you have the content of the texts or is it just a log ?


Do you know who the other guy is ?


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

No I do not have the context of the logs. And yes I do know who he is. Not personally. We did a reverse number check and I know the name from my wife talking about him in passing.. How do I find a good lawyer?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

badlogin said:


> No I do not have the context of the logs. And yes I do know who he is. Not personally. We did a reverse number check and I know the name from my wife talking about him in passing.. How do I find a good lawyer?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Find out if he is married and tell his wife (if he is) ASAP. VERY IMPORTANT!

If you really want to R, understand that you can't nice or win her back. That tactic doesn't not work and if you try you'll get the "too little too late" speech. You can’t compete with an A so don’t try or else you will just look pathetic. You can’t guilt her back and make her feel sorry for you; you have to show strength and a willingness to move on without her before she will have second thoughts.

You sound co-dependent, you may need to read some books on co-dependency to help deal with that.

I know it feels like the world is ending but if you take the advice given and have some patients you will land on top one way or another. You can’t control your feelings but you can control how you react to them. The rule of thumb that I follow is to do the opposite of what I feel like doing. Our emotions have a tendency to sabotage us.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

When you find a lawyer, get a good understanding of your rights as far as custody, property, alimony, etc. You aren't gaining this information to threaten her--you seem to say that you would do that earlier. In divorce, you want to play cards close to your chest. That is, let her find out the hard way that she may lose out financially, etc. as the divorce process unfolds. For one thing, you aren't a lawyer, and what a lawyer tells you may not happen that way. BUT: getting good legal advice will give you the mental strength to be brave and fight for your family. Not knowing the legal situation can cause fear and anxiety; but a little knowledge can go a long way toward boosting your resolve.

It certainly sounds like she's cheating to me. What I find very alarming is that your wife wants you to move out and is saying this is "healthy" for you. This makes me think she is setting things up to replace you. She may have found a new "dad" and "husband" and she needs you out of the picture so he can move in. I sincerely hope this is not the case.

How many texts do they exchange--and how often--and what times of day, that is, what are the texting patterns you can see?

Another thing you can do if no one has suggested it yet is to install a VAR (voice-activated recorder) under the front seat of her car to catch any cell phone calls she may be having with this man.


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## Silverlining (Jan 15, 2012)

Listen to the great advice given


Please start following the 180. Contact your MD and get some anxiety meds that will still allow you to function but help with your stress. Not sleeping and loosing weight is not healthy. 

Some posters here will say that being a stay at home dad is a surefire way to kill a marriage. Your wife has no respect for you and resents. Her role in the marriage has changed. This has allowed her to create a life outside of you and the kids. 

You, on the other hand, depend on your wife too much. This make you appear desperate. I'm my opinion, she does not want to have a partner who's weak, desperate and helpless. This other man is showing alpha traits while you are showing beta traits. She wants to be with an alpha male. 

Start acting like an alpha male or you will surely lose your marriage. You cannot nice her out of this affair. You need to play hardball.... Find Your Balls and get in the game!!!


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## badlogin (Nov 29, 2012)

Silverlining said:


> Listen to the great advice given
> 
> 
> Please start following the 180. Contact your MD and get some anxiety meds that will still allow you to function but help with your stress. Not sleeping and loosing weight is not healthy.
> ...


How do I find a good lawyer????? what makes a good lawyer? I have the worst luck at something like that.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

badlogin said:


> How do I find a good lawyer????? what makes a good lawyer? I have the worst luck at something like that.


Just set up some interviews with some local divorce attorneys--go to 3 or 4 if you are super worried about getting the right one. They should each give you an initial consult for free. You want someone you're comfortable with, who's been practicing for a while, not a poser, not too expensive, etc.

Unless you have tons of assets (you're super rich), and unless you think your divorce will be hotly contested by your wife and litigated for a long time, etc., full of many disputes, you don't need the best lawyer in the tri-state region. You just need someone who will file the right paperwork and give you solid legal advice. 

As long as your assets are few and your issues relatively uncomplicated, you don't need some sort of cutting edge legal interpretations that would require a great mind.

You probably do need a family law specialist because you have kids, but the rest of what I've said still applies.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

badlogin said:


> I sure hope it can be saved. She said can go see a therapist Monday. But she did warn me that she feels her mind is made up. *Her push at the moment is for me to move out.* She is not pushing divorce. That makes me feel like it will be one foot out the door. Could she be trying? The amount of texting has not slowed down. Her best friend and her husband are good friends of mine as well. He tells me his wife says my wife has not done anything sexual in her opinion. That may be the case but I find it hard to believe. I mean here I am again 3:12 in the morning still not sleeping and still not eating. I can't take sleeping pills I have kids to look after and get ready for school.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! Shes playing away and wants YOU OUT. Aint going to happen if you have any sense. She is letting you take the hit. By moving out you leave her safe with a roof over her head. Tell her, NO, you broke the vows YOU MOVE OUT and see how she feels about having to look after herself when all her protection is removed. If youve done nothing wrong man why do you see this as an acceptable option? Shes prepared to kick you out, doesnt want a divorce because she wants something out of it like the chance to "come back" if the grass isnt greeener else where. Get the legal advice and quick and I bet they will say, YOU stay put let her leave the home as shes the vow breaker.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

badlogin said:


> Lets try that again. Man doing this from a smart phone stinks. I have 5pages of texts as proof and can get another 4. I have been told by others that if I use them and she is trying it will push her away. I can't risk that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



She's doing this stuff behind your back and your afraid to push her away?

You need to make this real for her. The only way to do that is to have both of your families know about it and to expose the OM to his wife or whoever matters to him.

Kill the fantasy.....right now the fantasy involves you being gone and her in your bed with him. If that doesn't motivate you I don't know what will. 

Stop being beta and take control. You've learned a passiveness over the years from injuries and over dependence on your wife. Take back your power or loose your wife.


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