# how to keep moving forward?



## jforthegirl (Nov 29, 2013)

I posted earlier about co-habitation, but I'm having a rough day and looking for some support. :/
My stbxh pretty much dumped me after nearly 25 years together. 
The shock of going from having the most trusted and loved person in my life go from being that one minute, to a man who has lied to me for years, who doesn't have my back anymore has lessened, but it is still very painful. I started counseling right away after thus happened and it has helped. 
But we are still livihg together and being in thus house with him is making it very hard to move forward with my life. We are very polite and cgeerful when around our daughter, but barely speaking otherwise. His presence is a constant reminder of what I've lost, a reminder of how undesirable and unlovable I have become.
any tips on how to cope with this on a daily basis?
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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

I recommend you doing whatever you feel whenever you feel like it.

Most of us here understand your loss and understand what you are going through. Yes, some of us have completed in house separations. They are tough, but it is doable.

Regardless of your age, it is time for you to focus on your and your daughter. Your husband has chosen to be done with the relationship. If you're not in good shape, start working on it. If you want to start a new hobby, today is the day you do that. You cannot control anything other than you.

I recommend you start reading: The Journey from abandonment to healing by Susan Anderson. I think it will help you.
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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

When will you be able to move out on your own? Or when will he move out? 
It is very painful, the best advice I can give you is to cry when you need to, do not try to be strong too quickly.
Let the pain heal you, 25 years is a lifetime. It will take time to heal you. Do not expect for it to happen overnight.
Do things you enjoy. Go out with friends. 
Keep smiling, keep reminding yourself that is not the person you want to be with the rest of your life. He has chosen to leave you, you want someone who will love and cherish you forever. You have plenty of love inside to give to someone who will adore you.

Good luck~


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## jforthegirl (Nov 29, 2013)

Thanks for the encouragement. And you are so right, I want to be with someone who will love me and adore me, I deserve that. 

I'm not sure when he will move out, that is one of the many unknowns right now. Apparently he has no plan, so I have to wait it out. While he is trying to figure it out, it is nice for our daughter to continue to have him close, she adores him. 
Ugh, it's just so complicated.
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## hitbyabrick (Nov 14, 2013)

helolover said:


> I recommend you doing whatever you feel whenever you feel like it.
> 
> Most of us here understand your loss and understand what you are going through. Yes, some of us have completed in house separations. They are tough, but it is doable.
> 
> ...


I'm not far along enough myself for too many suggestions, but I'd also recommend exercise. I got into running during the month between her saying she was leaving & moving out. It got me out of the house, listening to music, and cleared my head for a time.

And as someone who never exercised, I was surprised to find out it left me feeling really good about myself afterwards.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I decided I couldn't live in limbo anymore and have taken control of my own life. 
I am in a similar situation as you. Waiting for him to make a decision to move out has almost destroyed me so I'm moving out.
A new start, my own space. I don't care about the house, my sanity is more important.
He's controlling the situation and he knows it. He's got you exactly where he wants you.
Would you think about moving out with your daughter?
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## jforthegirl (Nov 29, 2013)

I think he may be moving out! 
He said he was going to look at places this weekend, so hopefully within a week or two he will be put and we can start to move forward with our lives.
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