# Stop The Fighting



## Tired worried in conflict (Sep 13, 2010)

My wife and I have been married 15 years (together 16) and we have a 7-year old daughter who is adored and the center of our lives. 

The first 8 years of our marriage was great, honestly. Unfortunately it has been declining steadily over the years since D was born (we went to a counselor once when our daughter was 1 - neither of us were impressed) - to the point where now we cannot even converse without a fight. It's bad. 

Things we're starting to get rough when 5 Years ago I invested the vast majority of our savings in a business venture and was swindled (that plus additional lawers fees to sue the guy who defaulted on the Settlement Agreement) - I take full responsibility, but it is one thing that I believe she will never get past. I am constantly berated and humiliated, though I am making more $ now than I ever have...

*My wife is way over controlling and unyeilding on ANY parenting issue - I have no say in anything: the list of issues here are far to long to list...

* Since D was born, she has never had to work

* She complains about everything... _EVERYTHING_- the dog (that she wanted and I take care of), the carpet, the car, the food, the condo, her clothes, you name it.

* I've had her EX's relatives stay with us on numerous occasions but when my bro askes if his son can spend the night (1 NIGHT!!) she says NO. 

*Blah, Blah, Blah...

I've held it in so long that I've finally maxed out. I just mostly stay away from her now and it's a miserable existance. When we do see eachother we can't help but be bitter and angry. 

For her sanity and mine, I believe we need to seperate but I am afraid how it will affect our D... Any words of advice??


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## Brioli (Sep 6, 2010)

OMG my heart bleeds for you....not saying everything is her fault of course...but from your perspective it's pretty harsh. Have you asked her...I mean when your not fighting, the little one is down to sleep, and it's a relax day, why she is so miserable? Why does she feel like everything is wrong or what you can do to make it better? Whatever you do, don't run away from the issues. It's the worse thing you can do (and by run away I mean ignore them or stay away from her to keep from dealing with it). I know it is hard to ask the one person who is ripping you apart what you can do for her to make it better, but it's important to do this even if she is completely in the wrong.


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## Tired worried in conflict (Sep 13, 2010)

Thanks Brioli - I've tried that for several years - it just is the same cycle- over and over. Groundhog Day. I just don't have the stamina anymore - I've broken down and the "me" inside just wants peace. Enough drama and rehash of the past. I guess we are just two different people.


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