# I immediately regret this decision



## stuckinboston (Jul 28, 2010)

I dropped the bomb last night, that I want a divorce because DW doesn't want kids and I do, and I've spent some 20 hours since thinking how stupid and selfish a decision that was.

That's common, right? The first emotions that bubble up after actually making the statement "I think we're done" are regret, self-doubt, maybe a decent amount of self-loathing, fear, etc.? How long does this last, and how do I discern between fear of change and legitimate doubt about whether this was the right decision?

I'm not a very emotive person, but this hurts. Severely.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Kids are the best thing I have ever done. Can't imagine living a life without giving life. 

I know it might not be for everyone, but I think if it is important to you, then it isn't selfish for you to go after it. 

We all only get to live once!!!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It really sucks when something this big comes between two people who really do love each other.

I left my first husband, and doubted the decision for a long time. I knew it was for the best though. Not for the same reason as you, and we were NOT getting along very well at all.

I think it pretty much HAS to be the one that WANTS kids who does the breaking up. Because the one who doesn't want them can still have what THEY want in the relationship. So don't think of it as a selfish decision. Think of it as the decision that's saving your future kids lives.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Kids are nice. Don't miss the chance to have them.


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

take the kids... 

I can't stand losing a minute with mine.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Closing in on an empty nest here. Strangely as much as I like kids, I prefer my chosen partner.
MN


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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

Was this discussed before you married, did someone change their mind?
If your want of children is more than your love for her, then yes you are doing what you have to do. Even if you are teetering in that you love her more, that Want may and probably will erode that love as time goes on.
Could she possibly change her mind in time?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

stuckinboston said:


> I dropped the bomb last night, that I want a divorce because DW doesn't want kids and I do, and I've spent some 20 hours since thinking how stupid and selfish a decision that was.
> 
> That's common, right? The first emotions that bubble up after actually making the statement "I think we're done" are regret, self-doubt, maybe a decent amount of self-loathing, fear, etc.? How long does this last, and how do I discern between fear of change and legitimate doubt about whether this was the right decision?
> 
> I'm not a very emotive person, but this hurts. Severely.


At least now you may finally have the real discussion about having kids instead of her pushing the issue aside hoping you change your mind at some point.


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