# ‘I Don’t Regret Cheating On My Partner—Here’s Why’



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

This type of media coverage only serves to glamorize cheating in my opinion. No consequences discussed for their infidelity.

___________________________________


‘I Don’t Regret Cheating On My Partner—Here’s Why’

Six women explain why they feel zero guilt.

By Jen Glantz March 2, 2017 

With the exception of the hot fling you plan to have with Leo DiCaprio when the opportunity presents itself, you might assume that cheating on your partner would leave you feeling pretty bad (to say the least).

But some ladies get busy with other people, have zero regrets, and live to tell about it. And because this is a judgment-free zone, we asked women who've done just that to share their stories.

Here's their take on cheating without regrets.

"I got married at 24 to a person I didn't love but settled for because everyone was putting pressure on me to tie the knot. My family told me that I should focus on marriage instead of a career. And my friends were almost all married (we're from the south and that is just what people do). Our marriage was dead on arrival, and we just clung to each other because we didn't know what else to do. Three years in, I met someone else at work, and we had an affair. My husband found out and it was the catalyst that helped us both go on with our lives without each other." —Sherry D., 34

"I don't regret cheating because I didn't love the person I cheated with. I slept with a guy I met out one night at a club in Miami when I was celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday. In my eyes, it wasn't a big deal because there wasn't an emotional connection. It was just sex. If I loved him, then I would be cheating with more than just my body. I’ve been married for four years, and I truly love my husband. I don't plan on telling him because I don’t want to ruin our marriage over a person I don’t care about at all." —Raquel D., 31

"What comes around goes around. I found out my husband was cheating with a neighbor, so I cheated back. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. When my husband walked in on us, he was shocked. I saw him cry, but it felt good to get him back for the pain he caused me. Obviously, we ended up getting a divorce, and I was fine with that." —Luciana F., 41

"My husband and I hadn't slept together in two years. I needed sex. So I slept with a stranger. Cheating actually helped me realize that I needed to do something about our sex issues. I never told my husband about the affair, but I decided it was time to go to couples therapy and sort out our lack of sex. After going to therapy, we started trying new things in bed and making it a priority to have alone time together. Our relationship has never been stronger. I don't regret cheating because I feel like I had to do it for us to get to the place we are at now." —Erin D., 31

"I was tired of being a stay-at-home mom who wasn't treated well by her husband. My husband never called me beautiful and practically ignored me. I ended up secretly dating a guy that lived in the neighborhood and was recently divorced. It was my adventure, and it made me feel good about myself. The side guy knew about my husband and didn’t care. He wanted a girlfriend without all the attachment that came with it, so it was a mutual agreement. When my husband walked in on us one afternoon, he screamed that he wanted a divorce and I was okay with that." —Charlene W., 45

"You don't know what you are missing when the only guy you've slept with is your husband. Sleeping with other people expanded my horizons in the bedroom. I had two affairs in the same year actually! The first one was with a trainer at my gym and it ended when he moved. The second started only two months after that with a guy at work. He was the IT guy, and we hit it off. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was in his bed. That one ended when I quit my job and I lost the thrill of sneaking around at work. I don't regret it, and my husband still has no idea." —Debby L., 28


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

This is clearly click bate, what is sad as some dummies will read this and use it to justify their own immorality.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

And in WOMENS HEALTH no less???

All I can say is that the karma bus will be going pretty damned fast when it hits those chickee poo's right in the kisser.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> And in WOMENS HEALTH no less???
> 
> All I can say is that the karma bus will be going pretty damned fast when it hits those chickee poo's right in the kisser.


Dont you feel infidelity is glamorized to a great degree in our media and popular culture?


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> This is clearly click bate, what is sad as some dummies will read this and use it to justify their own immorality.


Excuses for screwing someone else are never in short supply.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Dont you feel infidelity is glamorized to a great degree in our media and popular culture?


OMG yes.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

There is only one plausible one in the group and that was the woman who cheated on her cheating husband. I know people say two wrongs don't make a right, but I feel you can't come back from cheating anyway, so, who cares at that point.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Herschel said:


> There is only one plausible one in the group and that was the woman who cheated on her cheating husband. I know people say two wrongs don't make a right, but I feel you can't come back from cheating anyway, so, who cares at that point.


Why lower yourself to the level of the cheater.

Why destroy your integrity?

Why do that to get even with a cheater?

I don't know. It's a worse loss to be like a cheater.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Once a cheater always a cheater is true, even if you never ever cheat again. My husband will always have cheated. Which technically isn't the same as being 'a cheater', but he can never ever again be a person who has never cheated. He will be 'a cheater' in that sense forever. I couldn't live with that, myself. It's unfathomable to me. Sometimes I look at him and just feel this sorrow for him, that he can never ever again be that person. No matter what he does.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Its one other step proving what I've said all along; no mystery at all. Women that cheat no longer have or never had much romantic interest in their husbands. In respect to reconciliation, I hope in the future, folks refrain from asking that silly question, "Does she show remorse?". News flash, if she cheats, she's already, and excuse the way I say this, "reconciled" her reasons with possible guilt she may feel. Like a couple of these chicks said, "He caught me and wanted a divorce. I was fine with that".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I would not fault someone who cheated because there partner denied them any intimacy, but they were in a marriage that they could not reasonably leave.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

uhtred said:


> I would not fault someone who cheated because there partner denied them any intimacy, but they were in a marriage that they could not reasonably leave.


I would.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Truthseeker you need to stop reading crap like this. Seriously. Life's too short to be causing yourself more reasons to be disgusted with society.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I would not fault someone who cheated because there partner denied them any intimacy, but they were in a marriage that they could not reasonably leave.


I would. There is no excuse.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Herschel said:


> There is only one plausible one in the group and that was the woman who cheated on her cheating husband. I know people say two wrongs don't make a right, but I feel you can't come back from cheating anyway, so, who cares at that point.


Agree with you. Is it ideal no but I get it.



snerg said:


> Why lower yourself to the level of the cheater.
> 
> Why destroy your integrity?
> 
> ...


You make an excellent point but I dont harshly judge people who do get even. The WS opened this box and whatever happens at that point happens and the WS is not an innocent victim in all of this. In some cases an RA wont work on a spouse who is having an exit affair or remorseless but in other cases they learn what it feels like to be cheated on. But like I said I see your POV and understand where you are coming from.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> OMG yes.


The reason I posted this article was it is an example of how it is glamorized or "not judged". These WWs, most of them anyway, are just selfish entitled people. Thats it. No great psychological mystery. And they dont seem like good partners for anyone.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Truthseeker you need to stop reading crap like this. Seriously. Life's too short to be causing yourself more reasons to be disgusted with society.


Bandit I swear I was minding my own business and Men's Heath linked to this in my newsfeed.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> The reason I posted this article was it is an exmaple of how it is glamorized or "not judged". The WWS, most of them anyway, are just selfish entitled people. Thats it. No great psychological mystery. And they dont seem like good partners for anyone.


I agree with this but would say some men are the same way. I don't see very many men's magazines writing stuff like this justifying it though. That seems to be very much a thing with media directed at women, usually by women.

Here is a good experiment notice how the first 5 posts are from a women's point of view directed at women (A lot of times there is no judgment, it's usually presented with a neutral point of view, if not a tacit you go girl!). Even though I preferenced the search with _MEN_ who cheated. There seems to be a lot of women out there who love to at least read these stories? I think a lot of them feel empowered by them in a twisted way.

If I had a son you better believe I would be making sure he reads these, and understands that there is a part of the female population who thinks this way. To the point that there are articles celebrating it. Don't get me wrong there would be lots of things I would be pointing out to my daughters about men as well.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> I agree with this but would say some men are the same way. I don't see very many men's magazines writing stuff like this justifying it though. That seems to be very much a think with media directed at women.


Men's health actually linked to this. Which I get, since they want hits for one of the publications. I can not recall, *although I could be wrong*, reading stuff like this in Men's health.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Men's health actually linked to this. Which I get, since they want hits for one of the publications. I can not recall, *although I could be wrong*, reading stuff like this in Men's health.


It linked to it but the article was from women's health. Show me the same kind of article in men's health. I don't think you would find it because the outcry would be too great.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> It linked to it but the article was from women's health. Show me the same kind of article in men's health. I don't think you would find it because the outcry would be too great.


At the same time men read all the "how to be a player" stuff - there is a ton of publications that push that stuff on men...I do see your point I just think people appeal to the lower natures of each sex in different ways.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> At the same time men read all the "how to be a player" stuff


This is a very valid point. I do think being a player is different then cheating. There are women players too.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> This is a very valid point. I do think being a player is different then cheating. There are women players too.


No doubt its different but being a player can involve deceit and manipulation as well.


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## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

> "What comes around goes around. I found out my husband was cheating with a neighbor, so I cheated back. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. When my husband walked in on us, he was shocked. I saw him cry, but it felt good to get him back for the pain he caused me. Obviously, we ended up getting a divorce, and I was fine with that." —Luciana F., 41


I'm ok with this. I had a revenge affair and posted pictures of my girlfriend and I all over facebook. I think it irritated my wife but that's about it. What drove my wife to tears was when I got to tell her my girlfriend was pregnant. She freaked at that. Couldn't give a sh!t about me but God forbid I should have a baby with another woman.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Secondguessing said:


> I'm ok with this. I had a revenge affair and posted pictures of my girlfriend and I all over facebook. I think it irritated my wife but that's about it. What drove my wife to tears was when I got to tell her my girlfriend was pregnant. She freaked at that. Couldn't give a sh!t about me but God forbid I should have a baby with another woman.


See this I don't get, why not just dump your wife?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Wow. I'm not sure why lack of morality continues to shock me since it is so prevalent. Shame on them all!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogs gonna bark, ducks gonna quack, hos gonna ho.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

We have to remember that such scum are not representative of the larger portion of society. Rags like this seek out these dirtbags to sell print. It's about money.


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## james5588 (Mar 22, 2017)

I know that this won't be too popular, but I gotta be honest...

In a past life, ex-WW did this. She was so cavalier about it, like there was something wrong with me for providing and expecting fidelity ("come on - monogamy is so outdated, right" / "we're only human"). She wanted to live the quintessential single life. The crazy thing was that I did not feel anger or jealousy or even inadequacy. I felt sorry for her and mostly worried for our (I literally can't remember the last time that I referred to anything as joint between the two of u-s) son who was only three at the time.

With some good advice and what can only be attributed to help from God, I was able to consistently make good decisions. I kept the household going and moved on as best I could doing everything possible to provide a stable, loving, and wholesome home for my son. She, on the other hand, moved back home to her parent's McMansion and ostensibly lived the life of riley. I can remember at night, putting him to bed after reading his bedtime story, staring at the laundry and the dishes and feeling like I was the loneliest person on planet Earth...

It was in those moments that I remember thinking I was the world's biggest fool and that maybe she was the smart one. You only live once, right? Gotta make the most of it, right? Carpe diem... To be fair, I cannot say that her life was all wine and roses. But, I do know that being a young single dad, though rewarding, was the hardest freaking experience that easily makes most anything else look pretty glamorous.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

james5588 said:


> I know that this won't be too popular, but I gotta be honest...
> 
> In a past life, ex-WW did this. She was so cavalier about it, like there was something wrong with me for providing and expecting fidelity ("come on - monogamy is so outdated, right" / "we're only human"). She wanted to live the quintessential single life. The crazy thing was that I did not feel anger or jealousy or even inadequacy. I felt sorry for her and mostly worried for our (I literally can't remember the last time that I referred to anything as joint between the two of u-s) son who was only three at the time.
> 
> ...


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## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

> It was in those moments that I remember thinking I was the world's biggest fool and that maybe she was the smart one. You only live once, right? Gotta make the most of it, right? Carpe diem... To be fair, I cannot say that her life was all wine and roses. But, I do know that being a young single dad, though rewarding, was the hardest freaking experience that easily makes most anything else look pretty glamorous.


I could never do that. Looking back on my experience, I think during the 2 years I tried to reconcile, I basically just harassed her about her affair and then one day, I quit my job, packed my bags and moved to China. I'm somewhat living the life of Riley and you are right, its not all wine and roses but men suffer divorce harder than women. I could never do for my daughters what you did for your son though.


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## muiscq (Mar 19, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Once a cheater always a cheater is true, even if you never ever cheat again. My husband will always have cheated. Which technically isn't the same as being 'a cheater', but he can never ever again be a person who has never cheated. He will be 'a cheater' in that sense forever. I couldn't live with that, myself. It's unfathomable to me. Sometimes I look at him and just feel this sorrow for him, that he can never ever again be that person. No matter what he does.


I will say this about most people that cheat.. There is always a reason behind it.. When my father cheated on my mother she told me that he is not to blame for all of this. years went by and I did know why she said that.. It stayed in the back of my mind. 20 years go by and we find out that my mom wasn't clean either.. not saying she cheated but there is always reason behind it. So no I don't believe a person that cheats is a cheater. He might have cheated but that does not mean he's a cheater. Your just hanging it over his head because you enjoy it and feel good about yourself. Just because you ran tack in high school doesn't make you a runner. Just because you do something once doesn't makes you a expert. Just because you smoked pot in school doesn't make you a drug addict. Just because you got drunk at a night club means you a drunk. I can go on and on. Intent is what makes a cheater.


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## james5588 (Mar 22, 2017)

GusPolinski said:


>


That made my day!!!

If I weren't 1000% certain (he is literally my clone), it probably would hit a nerve. But someone did ask me if such doubts would have affected my decision. I didn't think it would: my son is my son. Nothing would change that, ever. Granted, I had the luxury of certainty when I said that so...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Truthseeker you need to stop reading crap like this. Seriously. Life's too short to be causing yourself more reasons to be disgusted with society.


*But on the other hand, it is certainly plausible to occasionally read tripe like this, if for no other reason, just to know exactly how many, sick, demented, self-entitled cheaters that there are in our midst! Working as an abomination against God's intended plan for us!*


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Maybe it's just me but I have no problem with articles like this. I don't think it glamorizes anything.....its a glimpse into how some people view things and that can be valuable, because pretending it doesn't exist changes nothing. 

And its important to remember that there are people like this that one needs to be aware of.

I feel the same way about racists and sexist people.....its good that they speak up because we have to remember they still exist, and pretending they don't only drives it underground. Things thrive underground, as TAM is fond of pointing out.

I'm Jewish and pretending that anti Semites don't exist changes nothing. 

Know your enemy.....


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

sokillme said:


> I agree with this but would say some men are the same way. I don't see very many men's magazines writing stuff like this justifying it though. That seems to be very much a thing with media directed at women, usually by women.
> 
> Here is a good experiment notice how the first 5 posts are from a women's point of view directed at women (A lot of times there is no judgment, it's usually presented with a neutral point of view, if not a tacit you go girl!). Even though I preferenced the search with _MEN_ who cheated. There seems to be a lot of women out there who love to at least read these stories? I think a lot of them feel empowered by them in a twisted way.
> 
> If I had a son you better believe I would be making sure he reads these, and understands that there is a part of the female population who thinks this way. To the point that there are articles celebrating it. Don't get me wrong there would be lots of things I would be pointing out to my daughters about men as well.


I spent several hours just browsing through that sea of diarrhea.

After reading a few dozen sites, there is something that does stick out.

There appears to be a parenting gap in which parents should have been teaching their kids
1) Right and wrong
2) honor
3) Integrity

It's very interesting, site by site, article by article - just how common the thread of "me me me" is.
It's almost like there was a generation of parents that decided to see if they could create a legion of psychopaths. 
They have no conscience. 
They have no care for whom they hurt.
And these wingnuts have since taught their kids to be psychopaths as well

It would be a fascinating sociological study to see if this is a case of learned/taught behavior or if there is just a massive chunk of people that are really this broken.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

muiscq said:


> I will say this about most people that cheat.. There is always a reason behind it..You mean an excuse to cheat When my father cheated on my mother she told me that he is not to blame for all of this. years went by and I did know why she said that.. It stayed in the back of my mind. 20 years go by and we find out that my mom wasn't clean either.. not saying she cheated but there is always reason behind it. So no I don't believe a person that cheats is a cheater. *He might have cheated but that does not mean he's a cheater*.* Yes. Yes this does mean he is a cheater.* Your just hanging it over his head because you enjoy it and feel good about yourself. Just because you ran tack in high school doesn't make you a runner. Just because you do something once doesn't makes you a expert. Just because you smoked pot in school doesn't make you a drug addict. Just because you got drunk at a night club means you a drunk. I can go on and on. *Intent is what makes a cheater.* No. Cheating is what makes a cheater




Short of death and birth, you are attempting to minimizing perhaps the single most life changing event that a person will ever face.

Perhaps in reading the CWI section you'll see that your hypothesis fails under scrutiny.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hope1964 said:


> And in WOMENS HEALTH no less???
> 
> All I can say is that the karma bus will be going pretty damned fast when it hits those chickee poo's right in the kisser.


That is a wish and a Hope, not from Canada.

Keep in mind, not every man and women think infidelity is bad. It is only bad when you get caught.

People's morals are vastly over estimated. Live for today, live for ME is a common feeling.

Just Sayin'


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## _anonymous_ (Apr 18, 2016)

My wife watches a lot of Lifetime, where often it seems the storylines in their features glamorize cheating by women but condemn cheating by men. These stories OP posted also glamorize cheating by women. More and more, I can't help but feel there's a serious double standard with some women, where anything they do is somehow justified. 

Me thinks media is brainwashing the rest of the feminist camp to achieve maximum optionality among women (e.g. free, uninhibited decision-making under all circumstances) while foregoing any sense of morality, rationality, or fairness. That's just what women need, to be empowered by some more choice, as if having 100% of reproductive rights wasn't enough.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> This type of media coverage only serves to glamorize cheating in my opinion. No consequences discussed for their infidelity.
> 
> ___________________________________
> 
> "I don't regret cheating because I didn't love the person I cheated with. I slept with a guy I met out one night at a club in Miami when I was celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday. In my eyes, it wasn't a big deal because there wasn't an emotional connection. It was just sex. If I loved him, then I would be cheating with more than just my body. I’ve been married for four years, and I truly love my husband. I don't plan on telling him because I don’t want to ruin our marriage over a person I don’t care about at all." —Raquel D., 31


I've seen this may times in this forum and others. The marriage is good. The analogy I use is someone that grew up eating pork and converted to a religion where it’s a sin. They know that they promised to never eat pork, that they will be in trouble if they do. If caught they will be sorry for disappointing and hurting the people around them. But they will never feel bad about enjoying a little bacon.

They wanted to grow old with their spouse and can’t understand on a gut level.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

> "What comes around goes around. I found out my husband was cheating with a neighbor, so I cheated back. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. When my husband walked in on us, he was shocked. I saw him cry, but it felt good to get him back for the pain he caused me. Obviously, we ended up getting a divorce, and I was fine with that." —Luciana F., 41


I really have no problem with this one. 

The rest of them are classless pieces of trash.


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

I'm not surprised at all. Most marriages will suffer from an affair (over 60%). People have to justify it somehow or they will have to come to terms with the fact that they are selfish, entitled people who don't care about deeply hurting and betraying the person they promised to care for and cherish most.


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

_anonymous_ said:


> My wife watches a lot of Lifetime, where often it seems the storylines in their features glamorize cheating by women but condemn cheating by men. These stories OP posted also glamorize cheating by women. More and more, I can't help but feel there's a serious double standard with some women, where anything they do is somehow justified.
> 
> Me thinks media is brainwashing the rest of the feminist camp to achieve maximum optionality among women (e.g. free, uninhibited decision-making under all circumstances) while foregoing any sense of morality, rationality, or fairness. That's just what women need, to be empowered by some more choice, as if having 100% of reproductive rights wasn't enough.


It's true. I see it in real-life too, where women are celebrated for "getting their own lives" instead of putting up with their husband's poor behavior. To be fair, their husbands are doing things that hurt and upset them, like excessively drinking, hanging out with female friends without their wives, neglect, talking down to them, showing little to no interest in them, etc., but in those cases, I do wish these wives would set a higher bar in the marriage as opposed to lowering the standard to "get even." It becomes tricky though when you have finances to consider and children to raise.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

muiscq said:


> Your just hanging it over his head because you enjoy it and feel good about yourself. Just because you ran tack in high school doesn't make you a runner. Just because you do something once doesn't makes you a expert. Just because you smoked pot in school doesn't make you a drug addict. Just because you got drunk at a night club means you a drunk. I can go on and on. Intent is what makes a cheater.


Do you even know ANYTHING about me??? Hanging it over his head???? what the hell

And yes, just because you do something once it DOES make you that thing. If you murder someone, you are a murderer. If you are an alcoholic, you will always be an alcoholic. If you smoke pot you will always have smoked pot. You can never again truthfully say you have never tried it. Smoking pot didn't make you a drug addict in the first place - your analogy is wrong. But if you DO become a drug addict, you will always be one and have to live the rest of your life accordingly. And before you go off half cocked on THAT one, I don't believe pot is even addictive.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> That is a wish and a Hope, not from Canada.
> 
> Keep in mind, not every man and women think infidelity is bad. It is only bad when you get caught.
> 
> ...


*Sounds just like those words just dripped effortlessly right off of the lips of my RSXW!

With her, nothing is sacred!*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> ‘I Don’t Regret Cheating On My Partner—Here’s Why’


Narcissistic Personality Disorder, anyone?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

muiscq said:


> I will say this about most people that cheat.. There is always a reason behind it.. When my father cheated on my mother she told me that he is not to blame for all of this. years went by and I did know why she said that.. It stayed in the back of my mind. 20 years go by and we find out that my mom wasn't clean either.. not saying she cheated but there is always reason behind it. So no I don't believe a person that cheats is a cheater. He might have cheated but that does not mean he's a cheater. Your just hanging it over his head because you enjoy it and feel good about yourself. Just because you ran tack in high school doesn't make you a runner. Just because you do something once doesn't makes you a expert. Just because you smoked pot in school doesn't make you a drug addict. Just because you got drunk at a night club means you a drunk. I can go on and on. Intent is what makes a cheater.


I think you mistake reasons with justification. They are not the same thing.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

snerg said:


> I spent several hours just browsing through that sea of diarrhea.
> 
> After reading a few dozen sites, there is something that does stick out.
> 
> ...


How many people in the last 30 years have been raised to believe the sun raises and sets on them. 



> I believe the children are our are future
> Teach them well and let them lead the way
> Show them all the beauty they possess inside
> Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
> ...



This is how they were raised, like narcissistic little snowflakes.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Graywolf2 said:


> > "I don't regret cheating because I didn't love the person I cheated with. I slept with a guy I met out one night at a club in Miami when I was celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday. In my eyes, it wasn't a big deal because there wasn't an emotional connection. It was just sex. If I loved him, then I would be cheating with more than just my body. I’ve been married for four years, and I truly love my husband. I don't plan on telling him because I don’t want to ruin our marriage over a person I don’t care about at all." —Raquel D., 31
> 
> 
> I've seen this may times in this forum and others. The marriage is good. The analogy I use is someone that grew up eating pork and converted to a religion where it’s a sin. They know that they promised to never eat pork, that they will be in trouble if they do. If caught they will be sorry for disappointing and hurting the people around them. But they will never feel bad about enjoying a little bacon.
> ...


The thing is I get to some this is shocking but honestly 99% of the people who cheat feel this way (or one of the ways listed in the article) at least when they are doing it. I am with @lifeistooshort this very clearly shows the cheaters mindset. I just with it wasn't glamorized, it's good that it is out there though. How could you do it if you didn't justify it in this way? This thinking is the closest you are going to get to who your WS truly was when they had their affair. Proceed at your own risk.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

sokillme said:


> How many people in the last 30 years have been raised to believe the sun raises and sets on them.
> 
> ​
> This is how they were raised, like narcissistic little snowflakes.


Oh, what a marvelous example! The singer of this tripe, while possessing an amazing set of pipes, chose to fail to live up even to the questionable sentiments expressed within.
_So I learned to depend on me
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity_

Despite being mega-talented, wealthy enough to need no outside support, successful and (physically) beautiful enough to capture just about anybody she may have wanted, she remained in the shadow of an abusive relationship. What's that about not letting anybody take away your dignity? 

And she ultimately expired alone, face down in a bathtub, in a "shocking" (to some) drug related premature death. It seems some are capable of taking away their own dignity just fine. And the shadow under which she lived will be her legacy more so than her talent.

What a crock.

(okay, I promise to return to my normally positive state now)


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Oh, what a marvelous example! The singer of this tripe, while possessing an amazing set of pipes, chose to fail to live up even to the questionable sentiments expressed within.
> _So I learned to depend on me
> I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
> If I fail, if I succeed
> ...


Linda Creed wrote the lyrics so there is that but I always saw this as the narcissist national anthem.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Dont you feel infidelity is glamorized to a great degree in our media and popular culture?


Unfortunately, I think it has to some extent FOR WOMEN....

Guys are still (appropriately) judged as a scummy POS.....

But there seems to be some segment of society that think it's empowering or a form of self-realization for women to do it.

Like WW's today are paying back men (in some weird generalized way) for all the women in the past who had to deal with philandering husbands silently....or at least that's what I infer from some of the arguments put forward to justify this nonsense.

Cheaters are pigs.....I have never understood why some women have felt it to be 'empowering' to climb down into the sty that used to be a much more male dominated arena.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Dyokemm said:


> Unfortunately, I think it has to some extent FOR WOMEN....
> 
> Guys are still (appropriately) judged as a scummy POS.....
> 
> ...


If there is one word that is used all the time now that I hate, it's the word 'empowerment.' It's used by some women as an excuse to do the worst of things, such as having multiple partners, making pornographic pop videos, cheating, posing nude, and generally acting terribly. :frown2:

I think it's empowering(if I must use that word) to act with integrity and decency, with self-respect and respect for others.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I was racking my brains asking myself if I ever personally knew a woman who was cheating on her husband.

And yes, I could think of one. A long time friend of my sister and friend of the family. 

It started as a result of her husband taking a long time IHO to recover emotionally and physically from an accident. We're not sure if her husband ever knew about it. But it was my father who made a joke about it in front of my niece. And my mother was really angry. I don't father ever learned discretion.

The husband went on to have an affair of his own. She tried to get him to stop. then she contemplated an open marriage. I think she discovered that the social circles that she was in were not accepting of that. 

(just as an aside here, I think after a certain age, a person who is perpetually on the prowl looks very unattractive.)

I don't know if he ever gave up his mistress. She is now a widow. I think what's important here is that my sister and she went through thick and thin during med school, so there was a strong bond between them. But even my sister said at one point she was losing respect for her friend.

If I were ever in a social circle where there was a woman whom I know is having an affair, I would definitely keep my husband from here. I would imagine that they are uber flirtatious and very disrespectful of women in general.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

_anonymous_ said:


> My wife watches a lot of Lifetime, where often it seems the storylines in their features glamorize cheating by women but condemn cheating by men. These stories OP posted also glamorize cheating by women. More and more, I can't help but feel there's a serious double standard with some women, where anything they do is somehow justified.


It’s justified because from a woman’s point of view the relationship is what really counts. They were faithful in what counted. If their husband has an affair it’s bad because it jeopardizes their relationship. (i.e. he may run off with the OW.)

Women and men value marriage for the same reasons but have different priorities. Women tend to valve the relationship more while men tend to put a greater value on sexual faithfulness. This is very primitive and based on biology. Women know that the child they give birth to is theirs. Men have to trust their mate.

The basic deal was that the male promised to provide for the children his mate gave birth to and his mate promised that they would be his. Of course having her children provided for (relationship) was paramount for the woman.

My point is that from the woman’s perspective she was faithful to her husband in what matters most (i.e. the relationship, she never intended to leave him and the stability he provided). The man typically has a different point of view. His wife gave away what is most special to him for free.

A WH telling his BW that is was only sex is usually a positive thing. The relationship was always secure.

A WW telling her BH the same thing can be a negative. The guy meant nothing. She gave it away for free and wants her BH to continue providing stability as if nothing happened. Isn’t that nice of WW to let the BH keep supplying her with what she values most? She wants to grow old with her BH.

From the TV show House:

Wilson’s ex wife cheated on him and now wants him back

Wilson: People change, House.

House: Sure. They get older, ovaries start drying up, and nice guys like you look attractive again. 
•


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Graywolf2 said:


> From the TV show House:
> 
> Wilson’s ex wife cheated on him and now wants him back
> 
> ...


:rofl: Never saw the show but those lines make me want to watch!


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> Unfortunately, I think it has to some extent FOR WOMEN....
> 
> Guys are still (appropriately) judged as a scummy POS.....
> 
> ...


The most egregious example of the popular culture doing this is the success of the book AND movie of "The Bridges of [email protected] County" - skimmed the book - what a piece of sh*t....the story makes me ill..thats not a love story its a story of a silly selfish woman who betrays someone who doesn't deserve it andf then leaves her kids a letter telling them what a cheating POS she is - as if staying in her marriage makes her heroic? give me a break...


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> I don't know if he ever gave up his mistress. She is now a widow. I think what's important here is that my sister and she went through thick and thin during med school, so there was a strong bond between them. * But even my sister said at one point she was losing respect for her friend.*


That makes sense - if their spouse can not trust them how can you? Its as if being disloyal can somehow be contained solely to ones spouse. Yeah right. If someone has a cheater as a BFF you really have to wonder can I ever trust them again?? Unless both BFFs are cheaters - then it will probably be a mutual admiration society.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Graywolf2 said:


> I've seen this may times in this forum and others. The marriage is good. The analogy I use is someone that grew up eating pork and converted to a religion where it’s a sin. They know that they promised to never eat pork, that they will be in trouble if they do. If caught they will be sorry for disappointing and hurting the people around them. But they will never feel bad about enjoying a little bacon.
> 
> They wanted to grow old with their spouse and can’t understand on a gut level.


I've seen this as well - the WS thinks the marriage is so strong that it can survive them straying a bit. Then they are shocked when the sh!t hits the fan and the trauma they have caused their BS. When a WS says I knew my BS would be p!ssed but I never thought it would effect them like this you really have to wonder how dumb AND selfish they truly are. 

I also think IMO most waywards enjoyed their affair - especially if it was a LTA. When they finally get caught they downplay it so their BS doesnt lose their mind even more. But to me its just rewriting history. If you are a serial cheater or had an AP for multiple years - you enjoyed it and don't insult our intelligence by saying you didn't enjoy it. You kept going back. Thats like saying you didnt like the prime rib at a buffet but went up for seconds, thirds, or more. But you didnt like it that much. Yeah ok. :loser:


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> I really have no problem with this one.
> 
> The rest of them are classless pieces of trash.


I tend to agree - when a WS finally becomes the victim of infidelity I have zero sympathy for them.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Truthseeker1 said:


> I've seen this as well - the WS thinks the marriage is so strong that it can survive them straying a bit. Then they are shocked when the sh!t hits the fan and the trauma they have caused their BS. When a WS says I knew my BS would be p!ssed but I never thought it would effect them like this you really have to wonder how dumb AND selfish they truly are.
> 
> I also think IMO most waywards enjoyed their affair - especially if it was a LTA. When they finally get caught they downplay it so their BS doesnt lose their mind even more. But to me its just rewriting history. If you are a serial cheater or had an AP for multiple years - you enjoyed it and don't insult our intelligence by saying you didn't enjoy it. You kept going back. Thats like saying you didnt like the prime rib at a buffet but went up for seconds, thirds, or more. But you didnt like it that much. Yeah ok. :loser:


Had a buddy tell me once...

"I've tried weed a few times."

My response...

"No, you didn't -- you tried it once. Every time after that you were just smoking weed."


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Had a buddy tell me once...
> 
> "I've tried weed a few times."
> 
> ...


Yup - a ONS was eh ok Ill accept that but shagging someone for 2 years, 4 years, etc - um no you were just screwing and enjoying every minute of it. Now that the WS has to explain it to the BS - then its like "it wasnt all that" "I didnt really like it" - well there was something about the AP and the sex that kept you going back.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Truthseeker1 said:


> That makes sense - if their spouse can not trust them how can you? Its as if being disloyal can somehow be contained solely to ones spouse. Yeah right. If someone has a cheater as a BFF you really have to wonder can I ever trust them again?? Unless both BFFs are cheaters - then it will probably be a mutual admiration society.


I don't think it was about trust. I think it was more about how sleazy and pathetic it looked. And also with 3 kids, it was taking time away from them.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> I don't think it was about trust. I think it was more about how sleazy and pathetic it looked. And also with 3 kids, it was taking time away from them.


Absolutely that too - it is sleazy. But when a person is willing to put their family at risk including their kids and betray them all for ego kibbles it makes you wonder about how good a friend they can be IMO.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Dyokemm said:


> Unfortunately, I think it has to some extent FOR WOMEN....
> 
> Guys are still (appropriately) judged as a scummy POS.....


Historically, guys had a free pass to screw whomever they want to. Women, on the other hand, were stoned to death if THEY did the same thing. Things are more even nowadays, but I TOTALLY agree that cheating is glamourized and not given nearly the bad rap it should have. Maybe because the people who glamourize it have never been cheated on.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Hope1964 said:


> Historically, guys had a free pass to screw whomever they want to. Women, on the other hand, were stoned to death if THEY did the same thing. Things are more even nowadays, but I TOTALLY agree that cheating is glamourized and not given nearly the bad rap it should have. Maybe because the people who glamourize it have never been cheated on.


The people who glamorize it are cheaters. Lots of cheating goes on in the entertainment business. Lots of writers especially ones who write articles about themselves are narcissists. The guy who wrote "Bridges" cheated on his wife I believe. "Eat, Pray, Love" anyone?


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> The people who glamorize it are cheaters. Lots of cheating goes on in the entertainment business. Lots of writers especially ones who write articles about themselves are narcissists. The guy who wrote "Bridges" cheated on his wife I believe. "Eat, Pray, Love" anyone?


I also notice cheaters tend to defend other cheaters - look at some other sites and you can see this. If a BS posts about the problems in their R or their disgust with the WS the cheaters will attack if they feel the BS is being too "mean".


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Historically, guys had a free pass to screw whomever they want to. Women, on the other hand, were stoned to death if THEY did the same thing. Things are more even nowadays, but I TOTALLY agree that cheating is glamourized and not given nearly the bad rap it should have. Maybe because the people who glamourize it have never been cheated on.


I agree with this. Cheating was seen as a man's right and his wife certainly couldn't do anything about it. 

Guys are now dealing with what women have always dealt with and are seeing how bad it sucks. 

I do think one big difference from days of yesterday is that it used to be unthinkable to leave the family for a side piece. Men did it but it was seen as sleazy.....as long as you didn't abandon the family it was ok.

I don't know that I agree that it's glamourized.....lots of things are done on TV and in movies that most people know is sleazy and ridiculous. Hell, I watched wile e coyote and the roadrunner growing up but it would never occur to me to blow something up.


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## Lostwithoutyou1971 (Jun 9, 2017)

Truthseeker1 said:


> This type of media coverage only serves to glamorize cheating in my opinion. No consequences discussed for their infidelity.
> 
> ___________________________________
> 
> ...


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## Lostwithoutyou1971 (Jun 9, 2017)

If only I would have fought harder my life is lost but I hope to get help and never come back to this state again I wish her the best and I'm sorry for all the shot I caused life means nothing but getting help will bring me back out of this I'll always love you my big head wife


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## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> I agree with this. Cheating was seen as a man's right and his wife certainly couldn't do anything about it.
> 
> Guys are now dealing with what women have always dealt with and are seeing how bad it sucks.
> 
> ...


Basically agree. The question is whether there has been a reversal in the way that women who cheat are viewed. I think that women in my generation often do justify their cheating as some kind of feminist emancipation from male dominance and pay-back for generations of oppression. I also feel that the younger generation, call them Millennials I guess, are less likely to buy this line because for one thing, marriage is not as desirable as it used to be.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

PreRaph said:


> Basically agree. The question is whether there has been a reversal in the way that women who cheat are viewed. I think that women in my generation often do justify their cheating as some kind of feminist emancipation from male dominance and pay-back for generations of oppression. I also feel that the younger generation, call them Millennials I guess, are less likely to buy this line because for one thing, marriage is not as desirable as it used to be.


I think it is the age old entitlement mentality. Me me me me - i will get what I need despite who it hurts or worse. Listen to waywards blameshift or even better those in "R" who sign in to declare what a wonderful person they are for no longer cheating on their spouse. Whether they are cheating or in R it always circles back around to them. They need the spotlight. Many cheaters even "reformed" ones have this insatiable need for validation - they seek the spotlight during the affair and during R in many cases. Read wayward "safe spaces" on other sites - boy is it an eye opener.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know that I agree that it's glamourized.....lots of things are done on TV and in movies that most people know is sleazy and ridiculous. Hell, I watched wile e coyote and the roadrunner growing up but it would never occur to me to blow something up.


I think it depends on the work for example in a popular work like "Bridges of ******* County" it is glamorized.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

PreRaph said:


> Basically agree. The question is whether there has been a reversal in the way that women who cheat are viewed. *I think that women in my generation often do justify their cheating as some kind of feminist emancipation from male dominance and pay-back for generations of oppression.* I also feel that the younger generation, call them Millennials I guess, are less likely to buy this line because for one thing, marriage is not as desirable as it used to be.


That could be the subject of an interesting thread.


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## Warrior73 (Jun 25, 2017)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Dont you feel infidelity is glamorized to a great degree in our media and popular culture?


It's glamorized when it is women doing it. If a guy cheats, he's a pig. If a woman cheats, she's doing what she needs to do to be happy or it's "liberating". If a man cheats, it's his fault...if a women cheats, it's his fault for not paying attention to her. 3rd wave feminism has greatly influenced this line of thinking.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Truthseeker1 said:


> I think it depends on the work for example in a popular work like "Bridges of ******* County" it is glamorized.


I think that is more rationalization after the affair has happened that in the lead up. It falls in line with the marital history rewrite.

When I was a young Soldier, we used all kinds of excuses to pursue married but available women. It was received with pats on the back and "You go, bro".

Grasping for any flimsy reason to find another person outside your marriage to lay with is not limited to females


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Warrior73 said:


> It's glamorized when it is women doing it. If a guy cheats, he's a pig. If a woman cheats, she's doing what she needs to do to be happy or it's "liberating". If a man cheats, it's his fault...if a women cheats, it's his fault for not paying attention to her. 3rd wave feminism has greatly influenced this line of thinking.


For me I almost see it as worse if the women cheats, because she is supposed to be the one who holds the family together and put the children before herself etc. Not anymore in many cases it seems. :frown2:


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> I think that is more rationalization after the affair has happened that in the lead up. It falls in line with the marital history rewrite.
> 
> When I was a young Soldier, we used all kinds of excuses to pursue married but available women. It was received with pats on the back and "You go, bro".
> 
> Grasping for any flimsy reason to find another person outside your marriage to lay with is not limited to females


In the particular book I mentioned she spends the rest of her life pining after a man she knew and fvcked for one weekend - it is so silly it is hard ot believe it sold one copy. Whats scary is the amount of people who found it romantic.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Truthseeker1 said:


> In the particular book I mentioned she spends the rest of her life pining after a man she knew and fvcked for one weekend - it is so silly it is hard ot believe it sold one copy. Whats scary is the amount of people who found it romantic.



See the film "Plenty" with Meryl Streep.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> For me I almost see it as worse if the women cheats, because she is supposed to be the one who holds the family together and put the children before herself etc. Not anymore in many cases it seems. :frown2:


And men are supposed to be leaders and lay down their life for their loved ones. All cheaters are garbage.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Here is another one. Ever notice it's the most progressive websites that have articles like this? I wonder why this is? I would be scared to death to date a progressive 3rd wave feminist because the entitlement in these articles are palpable. No one ever calls them out either, it's like they don't have any honor at all. Truth and loyalty seem like foreign concepts. 

Seriously what is the justifications for this article being in the advice column?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> In the particular book I mentioned she spends the rest of her life pining after a man she knew and fvcked for one weekend - it is so silly it is hard ot believe it sold one copy. Whats scary is the amount of people who found it romantic.


Dude who wrote it basically saw himself as the dude being pined away for. I believe it turned out he had an affair on his wife. Shocking I know.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

@sokillme - an often overlooked fact - cheaters just dont betray their spouse but their whole family especially their kids. They take an intact family structure and put it in grave danger for some ego kibbles and some strange. How many people tear apart families to be "happy"? How selfish can you be?


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Dude who wrote it basically saw himself as the dude being pined away for. I believe it turned out he had an affair on his wife. Shocking I know.


I saw him in an interview - he viewed himself as some "romantic figure". He must have got an erection when he found out Clint Eastwood would be playing the main character. I had more than one argument over the book with women who read it. When I pointed out that their husband could be the male protagonist - then they said well its just a book. Its romantic until you get to be the BS in the story. See how that works?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

sokillme said:


> Here is another one. Ever notice it's the most progressive websites that have articles like this? I wonder why this is? I would be scared to death to date a progressive 3rd wave feminist because the entitlement in these articles are palpable. No one ever calls them out either, it's like they don't have any honor at all. Truth and loyalty seem like foreign concepts.
> 
> Seriously what is the justifications for this article being in the advice column?





> “If you avoid getting caught, a little affair can perk up a marriage,” says Lucy, a 50-something Californian.





> Research shows that 65 percent of women—and a whopping 80 percent of men—say they’d cheat if they knew they could avoid being caught.


The article is way too tentative for it to be meaningful.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> The article is way too tentative for it to be meaningful.


Nptice how they slip this in about the author of the book "

This has to be one of the dumbest lines I have ever read - from the article: *"Or take the approach Krasnow employs at home: find yourself a “boyfriend with boundaries”* SMH. That is a recipe for long term marital success. :slap:


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Nptice how they slip this in about the author of the book "
> 
> This has to be one of the dumbest lines I have ever read - from the article: *"Or take the approach Krasnow employs at home: find yourself a “boyfriend with boundaries”* SMH. That is a recipe for long term marital success. :slap:


Actually, that's an important piece of advice for both men and women who want to to cheat. Quite often, the cheater gets involved who has nothing to lose and doesn't mind outing their adulterous partner.

Think about how often someone get outed because the AP doesn't "follow the rules."


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> Actually, that's an important piece of advice for both men and women who want to to cheat. Quite often, the cheater gets involved who has nothing to lose and doesn't mind outing their adulterous partner.
> 
> Think about how often someone get outed because the AP doesn't "follow the rules."


Yeah 100% correct - think about how stupid cheaters are - lets analyze what you said - WS enters affair with someone who is also willing to *lie, cheat and sneak around* and is then shocked when that person breaks the rules again to suit their own purposes. You want to scream hey idiot you entered into an arrangement with someone who lies and cheats for their own pleasure and now you are shocked when they "break the rules" once again to save their own skin?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> The article is way too tentative for it to be meaningful.


My post wasn't about the article it was about the target audience who is presented with the article. Again it's always those who would call themselves progressive. Do the two have something in common?


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

sokillme said:


> My post wasn't about the article it was about the target audience who is presented with the article. Again it's always those who would call themselves progressive. Do the two have something in common?


Ummm.....check the data statistics.

The states with the highest rates of teen pregnancy, divorce, and infidelity (from what can be gathered since many cheaters will not even anonymously admit it in studies) are deep Red states in the Bible Belt......about as 'conservative' as they come.

I do not know a single Progressive who advocates lying to and betraying a spouse......

I myself am a Progressive.....and I have been called 'harsh' by friends and family because my first advice to a BS is always to kick the traitor to the curb (though I will always end up supporting the BS in THEIR decision) and because I have nothing but contempt for both of my grandmothers, who were cheating hoes.

People who understand loyalty and keeping their word come from ALL political/social views.......and by the same token, so do slimy POS's who think selfishly stabbing your partner in the back is an acceptable way to get what you want.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Dyokemm said:


> Ummm.....check the data statistics.
> 
> The states with the highest rates of teen pregnancy, divorce, and infidelity (from what can be gathered since many cheaters will not even anonymously admit it in studies) are deep Red states in the Bible Belt......about as 'conservative' as they come.
> 
> ...


But the editors of 

Hoffpost, thedailybeast, cosmopolitan, elitedaily all seem to think you like reading articles that justify it. 

Maybe there are some on fox or Brietbart too, but I don't see them. Just saying. Maybe it's the difference of seeing the world as black and white, or gray. Old fashion, or modern, who knows. 

I am also not saying any one side (if you call it that) has an monopoly on *******s, but in this case there definitely seems to be an agenda here at least when it comes to media.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> People who understand loyalty and keeping their word come from ALL political/social views.......and by the same token, so do slimy POS's who think selfishly stabbing your partner in the back is an acceptable way to get what you want.


I'm not sure we'd agree on all political issues but I agree with this 100%. I know more politically liberal women who are very "conservative" sexually and some more politically conservative women who are not. I think in our culture we confuse things that are merely part of the human condition and a persons make up with who they vote for.


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## dmatters (Apr 19, 2017)

Simple because we live in a world where no one wants to be called a bad person or held accountable for the horrible things they do, so much easier to blame someone else, circumstances or the wind blowing then look in the mirror and know you are a piece of sh*t.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

dmatters said:


> Simple because we live in a world where no one wants to be called a bad person or held accountable for the horrible things they do, so much easier to blame someone else, circumstances or the wind blowing then look in the mirror and know you are a piece of sh*t.


There is a lot of blameshifting go on in that article I agree. It is also interesting to me that different people can have the same background but chose different paths. It comes down to character IMO.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> There is a lot of blameshifting go on in that article I agree. It is also interesting to me that different people can have the same background but chose different paths. It comes down to character IMO.


I agree.

Character....and all it entails, such as honor, pride in self, steadfastness under duress, etc......is the key to loyalty and good behavior.

IMO it is something both learned AND intrinsic....some aspects of good character can be instilled and taught.....but there is an element of it that also seems to be part of a person's very nature.

Some people are 'good' at it, much like a person can be 'good' at math.....

Others just suck at it......again, just like some people suck at math.....

But like math.....anyone can get better at it with commitment, practice, and hard work.

Those who whine that this is just who I am.....do not want to change.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> I agree.
> 
> Character....and all it entails, such as honor, pride in self, steadfastness under duress, etc......is the key to loyalty and good behavior.
> 
> ...


Anytime a cheater who wants to R starts their story with how sh!tty their BS is I have a hard time believing their intentions about R are anything but self-serving. Own your sh!t and accept the consequences.


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