# Should I expose wife's affair !



## Charlie18! (Mar 31, 2018)

So as you have probably read before I am in the process of filing for divorce as my wife commited adultery and is now pregnant with his child..a guy being a 52 year old married man who us getting divorced for the second time.

This has absolutely turnt my life upside down and I have had to move out as seeing her starting to show has become unbearable ! I went back a few days ago to collect a few final things and she has changed the locks and his car was parked outside .

Absolutely disgraceful behaviour from the both of them..

As expected I have so much hate, anger and sadness that I want to somehow see them suffer..

Should I stand back and let them ruin their lives..

Or do I expose their affair to friends, family, colleagues..

I'm not a nasty person or violent in any way and I don't want to break the law..but I need a coping mechanism to move forward and get through this..

I've joined a gym and work out regularly.. any tips on how to help me live my life are greatly appreciated..i just feel so stressed and lonely without her !!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Charlie18! said:


> So as you have probably read before I am in the process of filing for divorce as my wife commited adultery and is now pregnant with his child..a guy being a 52 year old married man who us getting divorced for the second time.
> 
> This has absolutely turnt my life upside down and I have had to move out as seeing her starting to show has become unbearable ! I went back a few days ago to collect a few final things and she has changed the locks and his car was parked outside .
> 
> ...


Your name on the mortgage?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The greatest revenge is a life well lived......after divorce.

Get fit, groom yourself well, dress nicely, always smile when you are forced to be around this pair of shameless 'flaunters'.

Yes, expose. 

When you do so, do it calmly, not in a whiny manner. Hold your head up.

Smile a bit, not a grin. Let them know the baby is not yours'. 

Do not go into too much detail. Going on and on.
It sounds weak.




KB-


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## georgieporgie (Apr 15, 2018)

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head... (Proverbs 25:21-22)

i.e. continue to be kind, and satisfy your inner desire to be nasty with your knowledge that their acceptance of your kindness is to them like burning coals on their head. Not only did they accept your kindness, but they have to admit you are morally superior.

They probably already feel ashamed of themselves deep down, and if you do nasty stuff back that will just help them ignore their feelings of guilt, by instead vilifying you for reacting like that.

Its one of those pieces of advice which are easy to give to others but hard to do yourself when you are in that situation...


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## stro (Feb 7, 2018)

Sure, Expose, but I would wait till you have everything you need from her as for as financial arrangements from the divorce. 

Otherwise, the best thing you can do is live well. You are going to be grieving but don’t ever let her see it. Don’t call her, beg her, ask her why. None of that. It will be painful but you need to cut her completely out of your life. Go to counseling. Learn to be CONFIDENT and comfortable in your own skin. Make sure you stay fit and take care of yourself so if you do bump into her she will realize how much better life is for you now that she isn’t dragging you down. Find a woman who is kind and loving. It sounds like that may be a new experience for you. Good luck to you.


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## Charlie18! (Mar 31, 2018)

I am joint owner on our mortgage..thank you for all of your kind words and support .this truly is a testing time in my life..


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Here's my take on exposure. I think exposure is necessary when;

- Affair is in secret, Wayward spouse denies, etc
- You actually want to blow things up and make things work with wife
- Other person's spouse needs to know

I know you are hurt man, I feel you, the ultimate betrayal. Feels like we have been stabbed alive but still breathe. It will get better as you see this as a sign of a person that just wasn't strong enough, just not right for one reason or another. I don't think you need to hide the fact that she had an affair but at this point, I'm not sure of the purpose of exposure. If you go on a telling spree now, it's going to sort of make you look vengeful, which again, if the items above apply, that is no issue but there's no hiding the affair now. It's open and in plain sight. 

Tell the people that you trust and that can help you move on and cope about the affair, not so much as to what a scoundrel she is or anything like that but how you can get help moving on. Don't broadcast it because at this point, it will probably paint you as someone that you are not. EVERYONE will know in time because of the obvious.

I don't blame you for moving out, especially with no kids, no reason to be there. You need to keep as little contact with her as possible. It's on her to get the help she needs with what she is going through with the people she chose over you and her own family.

So, again. My advice. Exposure is not a must at this time, don't hide but don't broadcast. Move on and make the best life for yourself, that's the best thing you can do and if there is such as thing as karma or revenge, that will would be the best method. She will be stuck with that loser but most likely several losers that come after him. Don't feel sad for her but you can forgive her and you can honestly hope the best for her but say that to yourself once, mean it and then try to never think of her again as you move on with your life.

Gym is good, spending a lot of times with family and friends that are in your support network is good as well. My guess is that you probably don't want a lot of alone time with your thoughts right now. So much sucks having the kids involved with my situation, on what they have to and will have to deal with but I wouldn't trade having them for the world and to get to my point, they have made it easier to transition in all of this because they keep you busy and your mind moving. Find the things and people that will keep your mind moving and off focus of her.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Why didn't you have your lawyer/solicitor or the police help you retrieve your belongings? 

You don't see it now, but you've been blessed to be rid of this train wreck of a woman. Just think about what would have happened if she went off the rails after children and she and this man would be sharing parenting with you? 

Get to work on the 180! It will make you feel better.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

It passes eventually to IDGAF. Exposing to family/friends is really only useful if the spouse is fence sitting/cake eating and you are trying to salvage the marriage. Sounds like that ship has sailed and is clear across the Atlantic by now. Most these people, unless they are your friends, will be out of your life soon, so eff 'em. Just keep channeling that hate into healthy things like working out. When you are ready find a good lady and I guarantee you will forget all about her. Not much else you can do.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*They're doing a more than admirable job of besmirching their own sorry reputations! They don't really need any help with that endeavor!

Your job is "to 180," immediately get with legal counsel to help protect your assets, help gather evidence, offer advice, and get your divorce underway in starting the filing process! 

And to be thoroughly checked out by your MD for the possible presence of any STD's!*


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

First of all you get back in your house and kick his effin' arse out the door. If he does not leave call the police and not only have him thrown out but also put a restraining order on him. 

Then you tell your wife that if she wants to play house with him, to go live with him and keep him the **** away from you.


And yes, you absolutely expose the affair, the baby, the whole flipping mess to the world - families (yours, hers, his), friends, their employers etc. You rain hell down on them.


What is the matter with you ? You are behaving way too passively in this! Don't give me that I am not a vindictive guy [email protected] Become vindictive. Become very vindictive. She and he has disrespected you in the worst possible way.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

*Re: Should I expose wifeKm knb'j*



georgieporgie said:


> They probably already feel ashamed of themselves deep down


I usually advise people to expose affairs with the intent to create a crisis which has a chance of being a "wake up call" to a delusional adulterer who is about to lose the most precious life elements, including his/her reputation.

In your case, this purpose cannot be served. Both these people's reputations are considerably down the "tank trajectory" with no input from you.

Btw....this upcoming marriage to grandpa has a snowball's chance in hell. And, the delusion wears off very quickly ... marriages which begin in adultery have less than 1 in 20 chance of success. There's no love....only lust. There's no trust, only the firm knowledge that marriage means nothing to either of them....and irrefutably so, to both of them.

This is a pressure cooker waiting to happen. You won't have to add heat...this baby is going to boil exothermically....


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