# Sexless marriage



## Erin211985 (Jul 13, 2020)

Hi

My husband and I hv been married for 10 years now. One child conceived via IVF. We never had a great sex life even before my son was born. My son is now 2 years. We have not had any sex for the last 2-3 years. My partner does not want to talk about it and when I initiate he always declines saying he is tired or sleepy. I am not sure what I should do about it. I know he masturbates very often. Any thoughts on what I should be doing?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

The masturbation is his release. I suspect porn is being used as well. Advise you H you did not sign up for a sexless marriage and share a life with a man who masturbates constantly. If your H still resists addressing this VERY major issue in your marriage plan on discussing divorce. Sorry you are here.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Erin211985 said:


> Any thoughts on what I should be doing?


Get a copy of MW Davis the Sex Starved Wife, read it, study it, implement some of the suggestions.

The if needed find a really good sex therapist and set up an appointment with you and your H.

Good Luck.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Erin, when a non celibate man rejects sex with a chick, my bet is he's gay.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Have you ruled out any medical issues ?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

He either has a problem that won't let him get an erection while trying to have sex or he is a closet homosexual that won't come out.

Nonetheless, you either accept the situation or not. Those are your only choices.
Accept: no more to say. Shut up and put up.
Do not accept: you must be ready to end the relationship. Threats that are not carry on mean nothing. Your options are:
He must come clean as to why and seek counselling/medical help if it's medical.
He won't do anything? Don't tell him anything. Just Serve him with divorce papers. If that doesn't wake him up you got your answer. End the relationship.


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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

You didn't mention your ages, so I'll assume late 30's-early 40's. It could be any number of legitimate issues....depression, erectile dysfunction, low T, etc....that he is just too embarrassed to talk about with you. Has he or is he willing to talk to his doc about these? How was your sex life when you were dating? Any chance of another woman? And like others have stated, he could be gay. You mentioned he watches porn (new flash..most married men do). But do you know if it's straight or gay porn? 

The key thing is you are his wife and sex is a big deal in marriage. So he needs to talk to you about it, listen to your concerns and be honest with you. If he refuses, you have to decide if you can live this way or want to consider divorce.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If he’s spanking, then he has normal, functioning parts.

Is he spanning to porn? If so, then he is at least interested in sex. Assuming it’s not gay porn, then he likely isn’t gay. 

This is likely a relationship issue or an attraction issue with you. 

The fact you have never had a good sex life and the fact that he has been outright rejecting you for years, the first question you need to ask yourself is if you actually even want to stay with him or have a sex life with him or not. 

If your honest answer is no, see a lawyer, find out your rights and responsibilities in a divorce and then pack your bags and go. 

If you truly do want to stay with someone who has consistently rejected you for years ( with excuses that you know aren’t true) then you are going to need serious marital counseling and therapy to determine the cause of his lack of connection with you and even then there won’t be any guarantees he will respond to you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Furthermore, even with counseling and therapy, do you really think that sex with someone that was never a good lover, hasn’t made love to you in multiple years and would rather beat off himself than be with you would ever be any good??

Do you really think he can go from not wanting to touch you for years to being a hot, passionate stud that leaves you sweaty and breathless? 

If you want a real sex life, do you think it will ever be with him?


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