# Catch 22



## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

Hi everyone, not sure if any of you remember me but it's been awhile since I post here.

I'm now working full time and it's been a little over a year since I separated from him. Since October 2010 I had stop letting him taking our son for the weekend after my mom told me how my son told her to lay down on her back, he climbed on top of her and said "Like Daddy and Auntie". Told the soon-to-be-ex that he can see his son but no overnight stay because obviously the girlfriend and him can't keep their hands off. I consulted a counselor and she agree on this decision. I basically fear what my son had seen. And he was only 3 years old at that time.

Well, the ex never bother to come to see his son or take him out for ice-cream. He cut all contacts and so was I. He also stopped sending money. 

I managed to put my son to school on my own but it is getting so hard to manage without child support. 

So last week I contacted him. Of course he said he will send money again for the boy's school after I let him stay overnight on weekends again. 

Tough...because the ex had moved apartment - and chances are now living with the girlfriend he cheated me on with and he had made threats before to take my son away. 

He said he had talked with a lawyer who said our divorce process can be started (finally!) but then he started asking me to email him his divorce paper (from the first wife), our marriage certificate and our son's birth certificate.

FYI, our case is so complicated because we got married in the US (I'm Indonesian) but now we both resides in Indonesia and the marriage was never register here so legally, in Indonesian law I'm single and my son's custody immediately fall on my hand. 

He said the lawyer needs those papers so they can register the marriage here first then process the divorce. 

Ex has been so pushy to get this documents that I'm starting to get suspicious. What if these documents are gonna be use for something else? He seems shady and won't tell me the names or which law firm the lawyer are from. Btw, I did found out that he and his girlfriend has been planning a wedding for this May - which they can do but won't be able to register it to the US embassy here. So I'm suspicious about the whole thing. 

Ex said the lawyer will not talk to me anyway since he is the client which I understand but at least I could call their office and verify those documents he asked for. He won't let me know and said "Unless you want to pay for half of it then I will tell you. Either you can give those papers or I will proceed without them."

I cannot afford the price tag of $7k-10k that the law firm said but I also am not that poor to be eligible for a probono here.

What do you guys thinks?

My son have dual citizenship. Ex and I agree to have dual custody but he had turned into a man I didn't even know anymore that I fear he and his lawyers will twist it around to get full custody of my son then I will totally be screwed. 

Please help...I just want to get this over with.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

If you were here in the US, I would know exactly what to tell you. However, I have one idea. Tell your estranged husband to have his attorney request those documents from you. This is customary here in the US for attorneys to do this in divorce cases.


----------



## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

827Aug said:


> If you were here in the US, I would know exactly what to tell you. However, I have one idea. Tell your estranged husband to have his attorney request those documents from you. This is customary here in the US for attorneys to do this in divorce cases.


Thank you for this 827Aug! Really I didn't think of it that way. Now let's wait and see what the holy one would say to this since his reply to my request before was "I'm not hiding anything and even if u called him he won't talk with u because he is representing me. I am paying for this so I can either do it with ur cooperation or I can pay him more and still get it done"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

morningdew said:


> Thank you for this 827Aug! Really I didn't think of it that way. Now let's wait and see what the holy one would say to this since his reply to my request before was "I'm not hiding anything and even if u called him he won't talk with u because he is representing me. I am paying for this so I can either do it with ur cooperation or I can pay him more and still get it done"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


let him pay more and get it done.


----------

