# An excuse I've never heard before from a cheater...



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

If you are unfamiliar with my story, I posted a link here

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/68945-never-thought-would-me-should-i-pull-plug-marriage.html

Anyway, things are going good for me. Still a lot of adjusting, but given what I went through the six months of the affair (which is still going on, they're living together now), I have coped quite nicely.

So I received a phone call from her this week, and normally its about the children, but she got to talking about us. And as the conversation went on, she threw something out there that I had never heard before. She was talking about how she wished I had been more forceful on her about ending the affair. I was blown away! So you mean to tell me that confronting the guy at a bar and provoking him into a fight was not forceful? She said she also wished that I had blocked his number from calling her and vice versa. Yeah did that too a couple months ago, then she went out and got both her and him new phones.

It must suck for that guy to know that the only reason she's with him is because I finally stepped up and refused to be a doormat and take her back.

This is more than a vent than anything. I just thought you all would like to hear it.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The best reply back, would have been

But dear, you weren't worth the effort.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> The best reply back, would have been
> 
> But dear, you weren't worth the effort.


:lol::rofl:


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

Shaggy said:


> The best reply back, would have been
> 
> But dear, you weren't worth the effort.


Truth be told, she wasn't. I can't believe I was trying to give CPR to something that was dead for years.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> The best reply back, would have been
> 
> But dear, you weren't worth the effort.


even better

But dear, you weren't worth the effort, my new 23 year old girlfriend's pvssy is tighter. Here you talk to her Im doing her doggy ATM.


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> even better
> 
> But dear, you weren't worth the effort, my new 23 year old girlfriend's pvssy is tighter. Here you talk to her Im doing her doggy ATM.


Any girl that does ATM is someone I would not want to be with.


----------



## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Yey!!!!!!!! Their Karma bus arrived...Love these stories...


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

jlc29316 said:


> Any girl that does ATM is someone I would not want to be with.


ATM= at the moment.
Huh?


----------



## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

jlc29316 said:


> Any girl that does ATM is someone I would not want to be with.


ATM - At The Moment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

Oh wow...my mind went below the gutter on that one.


----------



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

The glitter wears off of all of us in relationships, eventually.
It's just that when you've been tanked by a cheater, you just can't remember what the attraction might have been.


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

What was the attraction? Familiarity, afraid of change no matter what the cost.

That's about it. She's his problem now, and I get to sit back and watch it blow up.


----------



## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

During the cheating, your marital history gets rewritten & when reality hits, the cheating history gets rewritten. At the time, you would have had to chain her to the pipes in the basement to keep her away from the OM & even then she would have gnawed her way free to scr*w him.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

jlc29316 said:


> Any girl that does ATM is someone I would not want to be with.



Yeah "ass to mouth" is just nasty*






















*I watch too much porn


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

It simply means the grass wasn't greener after all. Once they are carrying a real relationship the affair cocoon exploded, life become "normal", flarts are known. The excimente linked to the secrey is not there anymore. She knows realize he another man and probably worse than you. She was happy to have two men competing for her, that's all.

They are not excuxes, decode it better, they are "wishes" born on disapointment and they are completely ridiculous.

Don't worry, she now needs to make the better out of it so she's stuck with him even if it's due stuborness. It's her pusnihment. Who knows, maybe they just had an argument and is searching for the ego lifting she got used.

Ignore her from now own. No more conversations about the past.


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

BTW, what happened to her pregnancy? Was it real?


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> Yeah "ass to mouth" is just nasty*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I never seen it, just heard about it.


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

Acabado said:


> BTW, what happened to her pregnancy? Was it real?


Yeah, its all over her facebook about him being the father, which is about 99.99% true.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

jlc29316 said:


> Yeah, its all over her facebook about him being the father, which is about 99.99% true.


Wow nothing like a proud cheater thank God she is not your problem anymore. I'm willing to bet within a year he bails on her.


----------



## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Enjoy your new "forbidden fruit" status, relish it... The lovely tastes and treats of Karma...Simply delicious!


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

tom67 said:


> Wow nothing like a proud cheater thank God she is not your problem anymore. I'm willing to bet within a year he bails on her.


And no child support. Sweet


----------



## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

jlc29316 said:


> Oh wow...my mind went below the gutter on that one.


LMAO !!!! i just fell out of my chair when I realized what you thought ATM was ! (A to M i suppose ?) and I wouldn't want to be with someone who would do that either !


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Regret is a helluva thing.

Enjoy your new life, amigo!


----------



## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

barbados said:


> LMAO !!!! i just fell out of my chair when I realized what you thought ATM was ! (A to M i suppose ?) and I wouldn't want to be with someone who would do that either !


I'm proud to say that I never did get it, I had to have it explained. So now someone explain how someone can do that without getting sick from e-coli?

Never mind, I think I'd rather not know.


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> I'm proud to say that I never did get it, I had to have it explained. So now someone explain how someone can do that without getting sick from e-coli?
> 
> Never mind, I think I'd rather not know.


Pornstars do it, but I think it takes a few days of not eating and a good enema.


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

It's not a new one. This is advanced fog talk. "I cheated because you didn't stop me" If you had gone far enough to establish some control it would be "I cheated because you were controlling"

The correct answer to this was
"If you wanted to be with me you wouldn't be fing around, so I gave you what you wanted."
or if your feeling mean
"I won't accept sloppy seconds"


----------



## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

jlc29316 said:


> Pornstars do it, but I think it takes a few days of not eating and a good enema.


Oh My God, my mind is blown again! Are there really good enemas?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Yeah "ass to mouth" is just nasty*
> 
> 
> Ah, jeez! I just ate. (Really, really need a vomiting smiley.  )
> ...


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

tom67 said:


> Wow nothing like a proud cheater thank God she is not your problem anymore. I'm willing to bet within a year he bails on her.


That's giving too much credit. I say either two things happen in the next 6 months: he bails on her, or you see both their mugshots on the county jail website.


----------



## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> I'm proud to say that I never did get it, I had to have it explained. So now someone explain how someone can do that without getting sick from e-coli?
> 
> Never mind, I think I'd rather not know.


Cling film is good. Provides a barrier for germs, while being thin enough to allow the sensation. I believe it's called Saran wrap in the US.

I only know this because, among other things, I edit gay erotica. Which, for some reason, quite a lot of straight women enjoy reading. The only thing it does for me is pay the bills.


----------



## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Is it just me, or has this thread gone totally off the rails?


----------



## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Nucking Futs said:


> Is it just me, or has this thread gone totally off the rails?


Threadjack 2.0


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

The originator of the thread threajacked his own thread.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Yeah "ass to mouth" is just nasty*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I was thinking he was thinking an actual ATM. Hmmm would it spit out 100 s?


----------



## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

When my WH started up again with the same OW from a year before, and then was caught, again, he told me "Maybe you were too easy on me last year, I didn't think you were that hurt" or some such nonsense. So, it really WAS my fault afterall! Who knew?


----------



## jlc29316 (Feb 28, 2013)

I think the basis of the threadjacking can be relayed back to me, and my "desperation to get laid". It's hard being the good guy in a divorce.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Ovid said:


> It's not a new one. *This is advanced fog talk. "I cheated because you didn't stop me"* If you had gone far enough to establish some control it would be "I cheated because you were controlling"
> 
> The correct answer to this was
> "If you wanted to be with me you wouldn't be fing around, so I gave you what you wanted."
> ...


Yeah, it's a variation of "You didn't try hard enough." Always said after the fact and without any advice as to what you should have done.


----------



## punkinhead (Mar 19, 2013)

My STBXH's excuse was that if I had just been reasonable and agreed to an open/swinging marriage, he wouldn't have HAD to cheat. Clearly all my fault...


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

jlc29316 said:


> Oh wow...my mind went below the gutter on that one.


You weren't the only one.


----------



## TOMTEFAR (Feb 23, 2013)

jlc29316 said:


> Any girl that does ATM is someone I would not want to be with.


:rofl: You have done to much porn browsing recently... :lol:


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Robsia said:


> Cling film is good. Provides a barrier for germs, while being thin enough to allow the sensation. I believe it's called Saran wrap in the US.
> 
> I only know this because, among other things, I edit gay erotica. Which, for some reason, quite a lot of straight women enjoy reading. The only thing it does for me is pay the bills.


So you are an editor, too? Cool! I just red 'penned' an article which referenced smack foods! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Ovid said:


> *It's not a new one*. This is advanced fog talk. "I cheated because you didn't stop me" If you had gone far enough to establish some control it would be "I cheated because you were controlling"
> 
> The correct answer to this was
> "If you wanted to be with me you wouldn't be fing around, so I gave you what you wanted."
> ...


I don't think this excuse is that uncommon. A lot of cheaters say they wanted the betrayed spouse to "fight" for them, although they never elaborate on what they mean by "fight." And many times the betrayed spouse had done just the types of things that you did. 

The cheater loves a competition for their affection, and see themselves as a valued prize - "if you had fought for me, I MIGHT have chosen you." They see the betrayed spouse as having no appeal whatsoever to the opposite sex, who just should be happy the cheater would even throw them a bone to even talk nicely to them. And they expect everyone, including the betrayed, to be happy for them and their new life.


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

jlc29316 said:


> Yeah, its all over her facebook about him being the father, which is about 99.99% true.


Cheated on her husband with another guy, broke up her family, got pregnant by him, and is so proud of herself that she's plastering it all over Facebook.


----------



## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Will_Kane said:


> I don't think this excuse is that uncommon. A lot of cheaters say they wanted the betrayed spouse to "fight" for them, although they never elaborate on what they mean by "fight." And many times the betrayed spouse had done just the types of things that you did.
> 
> The cheater loves a competition for their affection, and see themselves as a valued prize - "if you had fought for me, I MIGHT have chosen you." They see the betrayed spouse as having no appeal whatsoever to the opposite sex, who just should be happy the cheater would even throw them a bone to even talk nicely to them. And they expect everyone, including the betrayed, to be happy for them and their new life.


This is why it's so important to show them that *you *are the valued prize, and that you are very desirable to the opposite sex, especially now that you've become available with your 'get out of jail free card'... You've been providing substance, not lies and empty promises.. Let them worry about fighting for you if they want to stay M.


----------

