# facing the reality



## theetoeturtle (May 5, 2009)

Hi all. I haven't posted in quite a while, but wanted to get back into posting.
I have come to the conclusion that for my husband and I, better sex is not going to happen. Not in this lifetime anyway. We haven't had sex in a long time. Its not that we don't want it, we do. He has problems keeping it up, and I refuse to give him blow jobs without any reciprocation.
Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not holding out to be mean or spiteful. Sex with my husband started to be the same old same old without much variety. Showing him what I liked, getting him to watch educational videos hasn't worked. It just ends up being frustrating for both of us.
So, I guess I have to face the fact that for the rest of my marriage, there will be little to no sex.
I haven't brought up this subject in a long time either. Don't know if talking about it will do any good.
How many marriages can survive like this?.


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## pinotnoir (Jul 13, 2013)

I don't know. My wife and I have sex maybe once a year and, for her, it's always a "hurry and let's get this over with" variety. Sex is really important to me, but not to her. With you, at least you are both trying, or have the desire for it to work. As a guy in his situation it must be frustrating and embarrassing; maybe that's why he doesn't want to try anything different. Has he seen a doctor to help with any physical issues he may be having? He needs to try to help himself somehow. If not, it must not be important to him and then I think you have some things to think about.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It depends how important sex is to you vs how important other joys in life are.

For me, I would not stick around long if the sex wasn't a fluid aspect of marriage, and making it a fluid aspect was off the table. Women who have a sex drive become highly rejected, hurt and angry when their lover/partner/husband refuses to engage. Being a woman, it's just too easy to find sex elsewhere, so I find it hard to believe he is willing to risk you getting fed up and leaving.

Sad sad sad...


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## theetoeturtle (May 5, 2009)

No, hasn't seen a doctor, and don't think he will. Its hard for him to admit that he might have a problem. And I think part of it is that he might feel embarrassed to talk to the doctor about this particular problem.
He will walk around the house flaunting himself in front of me, trying to get a reaction out of me. So he does try.


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## kal_el (Mar 8, 2013)

theetoeturtle said:


> No, hasn't seen a doctor, and don't think he will. Its hard for him to admit that he might have a problem. And I think part of it is that he might feel embarrassed to talk to the doctor about this particular problem.
> He will walk around the house flaunting himself in front of me, trying to get a reaction out of me. So he does try.


Then he's trying. Are you setting rules and standards to sex to the point he's just given up? My wife lives in a " Jane Austin" fantasy when it comes to sex so much so that I usually give up/ an just not turned on. Anymore after 2 minutes I'm done, not turned on and have given up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

theetoeturtle said:


> No, hasn't seen a doctor, and don't think he will. Its hard for him to admit that he might have a problem. And I think part of it is that he might feel embarrassed to talk to the doctor about this particular problem.
> He will walk around the house flaunting himself in front of me, trying to get a reaction out of me. So he does try.


Buy some viagra and just say take this and let's see!! 85% of people it works and will restore not only his confidence, but your sex life.

Almost every guy I know takes i tfrom time to time we all joke and say "I'm like a porn star on that stuff..........just smaller lol" or "You can put on a show with 50mg!"

It's common as candy now.


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