# Antidepressants - experiences



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I didn't want to hijack another thread, but the topic of antidepressants came up an it seemed interesting to discuss. (Note, I may be confusing antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, and someone can set me straight). 

I haven't taken any, but have 3 close friends who have. For one it seems to have worked, but for the other 2, it lead to long term problems. In one case weakened bones (a side effect the doctor didn't mention) that resulted in someone loosing their favorite hobby of running. The other ended up sort of numb to life, and lost her job and marriage - basically never recovered. 

We've seen a number cases here where anti=depressants fix depression but completely kill someone's sex drive, ruining their relationships.

I don't doubt their value in some cases but they seem very over-prescribed (profit motive I expect). I'm wondering how many people have had success or failure with them.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

My husband had kidney stones recently, and they were stubborn little buggers! He was in AWFUL pain. Even thought pain medicine didn't actually treat the stones, he took some because he was hurting.

Before Christmas I had a terrible urinary tract infection. My doctor prescribed antibiotics, and I took them.

A relative has type 1 diabetes. His pancreas is stupid. So he takes insulin.

No one would ever suggest to my husband, me, or my friend that we should be ashamed, that we were weak, that we are only treating symptoms, that we should be more worried about the side effects.

And yet we stand in judgement over people who are in pain, in grief, or whose actual brains do not function correctly.

Why is that?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I take a generic SSRI selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. (Escitalopram). It is prescribed for anxiety in my case. Turned down my sex drive. That was interesting, the first few weeks it was dead. No interest at all. then over time it has been building back up. I'm taking half of the smallest pill. I still do not have the drive I had to start with. I can go days without thinking about sex. 

On the plus side I can concentrate at work and Church better than before, less mind wandering. 

YMMV


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I do believe that physicians are very quick to prescribe medications for one reason or the other, solely treating the symptoms instead of trying to figure out the exact cause.

I don't have any experience with ADs but it is something that runs on my W's side of the family. My W recently started taking a low dose of Zoloft as prescribed by her GYN (due to PMS issues that had gotten worse, anxiety). Since she started, mentally she is doing a lot better,. especially those days leading up to her period. The one side that I was concerned about is SSRIs are known to cause sexual dysfunction. So far that hasn't been an issue, hopefully b/c she is on a low dose, but it is something to be monitored.

So on one hand, I am happy for my W that she is doing much better on the AD. On the other hand, I don't like the fact that no effort was made by the GYN to figure out exactly why she started having these issues, and that there seems to be no long term gameplan (i.e. just take the pills indefinitely).


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

uhtred said:


> I didn't want to hijack another thread, but the topic of antidepressants came up an it seemed interesting to discuss. (Note, I may be confusing antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, and someone can set me straight).


I took anti-anxiety meds for a short while after the still birth of my twins. About 2 months after the still birth I just could not function at all. It came on suddenly. I just stayed in my house, could not get myself to go to work or do anything but sit all day feeling like everything was crashing in on me. I could not even face calling into work to say I was not coming in. A friend who realized what was happening came and took me to a doc who prescribed an anti-anxiety. By the next day I was functional and able to go to work. I took the meds for about 2 weeks. At that point I could tell that did not need them anymore and stopped. The crisis was over. I am not sure how things would have gone had I not gotten the meds. But I don't think I would have come out of it ok. I've taken any anti-anxiety meds since, nor needed any.

I have taken anti-depressants and they helped. It was more for situation depression, meaning that I was in a bad situation with an abusive husband and had arrived at a point in which I could not see my way out of it. I was frozen and unable to see a way out of a bad situation. Once on the anti-depressants, the depression fell away. My thought process was completely clear and I was able to end the marriage. I took the meds for about 2 years, that's how long the process of ending the marriage and getting back on my feet took. After that I got off the meds and have done well since.



uhtred said:


> I haven't taken any, but have 3 close friends who have. For one it seems to have worked, but for the other 2, it lead to long term problems. In one case weakened bones (a side effect the doctor didn't mention) that resulted in someone loosing their favorite hobby of running.


All medications can have side effects. Was your friend an older person? I found an WebMD article that this can happen in older people who take anti-depressants (serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)). But they are not sure that it's actually the antidepressants that case the weakened bones. https://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20070625/antidepressants-may-speed-bone-loss#1 

There are antidepressants that are not SSRI.



uhtred said:


> The other ended up sort of numb to life, and lost her job and marriage - basically never recovered.


It might not have been the antidepressants that led to all of her problems. Generally antidepressants do not numb a person to life. Instead they remove the debilitating depression and allow the person to function with a clear head. The meds she was on might not have been the right ones for her. Sometimes it takes trail and error to find the right meds for a person. And some people get no help at all from any antidepressants.



uhtred said:


> We've seen a number cases here where anti=depressants fix depression but completely kill someone's sex drive, ruining their relationships.


There are antidepressants that do not kill sex drive. Wellbutrin in one that usually increases sex drive. Wellbutrin is the one that I did the best on. It increases the uptake of dopamine and norepinephrine... thus it not only helps get rid of depression but gives a boost in energy level.



uhtred said:


> I don't doubt their value in some cases but they seem very over-prescribed (profit motive I expect). I'm wondering how many people have had success or failure with them.


They probably are over prescribed. That's because insurance will pay for the meds but will not pay the therapy that would help a person work thought the problems causing the depression. Once a person is on antidepressants, docs tend to not set a date at which to take the person off them. It's usually left up to the patient to decide that they are ready to get off the drugs. 

Also, keep in mind that there some people who have life-long depression that might never be able to get off them if they want to be functional. It's like a schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is caused by some sort of brain distorter. Once a person developed it, they are never going to be cured. Well some forms of depression are the same.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

> That's because insurance will pay for the meds but will not pay the therapy that would help a person work thought the problems causing the depression.


THIS

And this makes me so angry. I have a loved one who could probably take less medication if she could have regular long term therapeutic intervention. But she can't afford therapy. She CAN avoid a prescription copay and a trip to the psych for 10 minutes every 3 months. It's maddening.

I have a love/hate relationship with medication. There have been medications that saved my life. And then there were some (that I didn't need but was prescribed) that stole years of my life.

I would advise someone who is not in acute, suicidal crisis to try nutrition, exercise, meditation, and counseling BEFORE trying medication. It might make the meds unnecessary, and it will shut up the people who think it is their business to ask why you are taking them.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I'm not sure what your exact question is, but I'm willing to answer as best I can for whatever my experience is worth to you. I've been on various SSRI meds for over 10 years now, and don't intend to stop taking them. 

Looking back at my life, I should have been on them many years earlier than that. Unfortunately I let myself believe that they were a cowards way out and that I could cure myself with diet, exercise, meditation, therapy, etc. I still do those things. Those things DO help... but for someone with a true brain chemistry problem, they are not a cure. The symptoms are still there... despite attempts to manage them naturally. 

I waited until I crashed and burned to get on meds, and I wish I hadn't let it get that far before I started them. It took a long time to climb out of the hole I was in. 

There are side effects to the medications, so I'm not really sure why anyone would desire to take them if they didn't absolutely need them. I've tried pretty much every one out there at this point trying to strike the balance between what provides symptom relief vs. the most tolerable side effects. 

The worst part about these meds? Sometimes they stop working. It's a total crap shoot to figure out why.... why would my body chemistry change? You don't immediately notice that they aren't really working anymore, either. Your symptoms begin to ramp up again slowly and you explain it away as "stress" or a "bad day". Then all of a sudden you're in crisis again and trying to retrace your steps to figure out how you got there. Back to the drawing board... tinkering with meds again to figure out how to make it better. 

They also trick you. After a very long time of feeling normal... you forget how bad your lowest point was, and you begin focusing on the negative side effects you're experiencing from these meds. You tell yourself, why do I take these again? Do I really need this? Why am I putting myself through these side effects? So you try coming off of them or lowering the dose... if you are lucky you can tolerate the lower dose and things get better. If you aren't lucky, you're a wreck again and now you've got to start at the bottom of the ladder once again to get better. 

Diseases of the mind are so awful. It isn't something you can point to on a scan or a blood test and say "There! That's what is wrong!". It's a constant game of second guessing yourself, wondering if you are just making up your symptoms, wondering if you are just too weak or have some other character flaw that causes you to be this way. It warps your mind to the point where you cannot bring yourself to believe that you are WORTH getting better. Lord knows I've told myself that I deserve the misery and the illness. Its losing the will to fight, to seek treatment, to tell someone that something is wrong and to want to make it better. It makes you isolate yourself and even walking outside the door can feel overwhelming and impossible. Advocating for myself, forcing myself to continue seeking help and to ask questions and keep my doctors appointments has always been a struggle. I do it for my kids and my husband because they deserve a functioning mother and wife. If I was alone I am not sure if I would have the strength to do it just for myself! 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

No judgement of the people, but often of their doctors. 

I think it makes sense to separate medication that treats causes from that which treats symptoms, and long term from short term.

Short term pain killers for a specific problem (like kidney stones) or short term antidepressants to counter some specific cause make sense. I think long term use of either should be considered carefully.

Things like antibiotics that specifically treat causes are completely different, and generally are good (unless there are bad side effects). 

What worries me with antidepressants is the number of people who become depressed fro some *reason*, then take anti-depressants rather than try to address the root cause. (this is not the *fault* of the person taking them, but of the doctors who prescribe them rather than try to work on the cause of the depression. 


Friend 1: Was extremely stressed about her job and upcoming marriage. Was prescribed Xanex by a doctor who told her it was safe and non-additive. Became addicted. Lost her job because she couldn't concentrate. Was divorced almost immediately after her marriage because she had become a prescription drug addict. Took almost 20 years of living in her mother's house until she broke the cycle. 

Didn't instead find a less stressful job (which she could have done).

Friend 2: Was depressed after having kids. Not post partum depression, but the depression the comes from realizing that raising kids isn't as much fun as it seems in the movies. Was prescribed anti-depressants. Side effect was to weaken her bones to the point where she could no longer run (she was a marathoner). Doctor never mentioned the side effect. Still depressed. Still taking meds. Marriage only continues for the sake of the kids. 

Friend 3: this was successful. He was having issues with his sexuality, and some anxiety issues. Medication seemed to help him long term. 





personofinterest said:


> My husband had kidney stones recently, and they were stubborn little buggers! He was in AWFUL pain. Even thought pain medicine didn't actually treat the stones, he took some because he was hurting.
> 
> Before Christmas I had a terrible urinary tract infection. My doctor prescribed antibiotics, and I took them.
> 
> ...


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I used to have a habit of watching all of those emergency Room reality TV shows. I also have a couple of friends who have been emergency Room nurses. If you've ever seen one of these shows, you know that sometimes someone has a heretick injury that is causing them to be in agony. There are times when the agony and pain is so severe, that the medical professionals cannot even talk to the person or really examined them without 1st getting them comfortable. Sometimes Anti-depressants are like that period it would be admirable and wonderful if everyone who is in the midst of a horrible crisis or suicidal depression could rationally take non medicine steps. But I can tell you that when the pain and despair is at its most intense, you can't think about cognitive behaviors or meditation. Much like the person with the severe injury, there has to be some sort of relief before you can begin working through the roof

And sometimes the root problem also requires medication. There is a real biological cause for depression sometimes that has nothing to do with life circumstances or weakness. I think the reason this topic bothers me is because we do not hold any other type of medication to such intense scrutiny. And let's be honest, almost any medicine out there can be abused, from pain medication to antibiotics to simple dire radix that you buy over the counter. The brain is an organ in the body. Taking medication for brain dysfunction or brain chemistry problems is exactly the same as taking medicine for any other physiological issue.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I will add this since it is frequently a topic. I am highly sexual, I left a sexless marriage, and I have sex with my husband every single day. However, if I found out that, basically, he would rather me be in constant anxiety and battling suicidal ideation then risk regular 6 and a good orgasm, I would have no respect for him. People with major depression can die from their disease, usually at their own hand. I would be glad to have sex a little bit less if it meant it would help my spouse's well being to take an anti-depressant.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Up until last month I was on antidepressants since before 2006. I have a very successful career and a very happy 46 years of marriage. My various AD’s helped me cope with PTSD, 9/11 and job stress. I have met a lot of people on AD’s and even been asked to speak to some who wanted to get off them or were unsure of taking them. What it boils down to is finding the right doctor and AD or combo of AD and other meds. 

Many doctors just go by whatever they usually prescribe. I suggest you see a Psychiatrist rather than an MD. Even then I had to go through 5 PDOCs to find the one right for me. I also spent over a year to find the right AD. Most destroyed my sex life and/or made me feel like a zombie. Since it takes about 6 weeks for to feel the full effects of an AD, it can take a very long time to try many of them to find the one that is best for you. I ended up with Wellbutrin which actually increases your libido and helps you lose a few pounds too. 

So many give up due to the side effects, which can make you feel dead inside or have all sorts of other undesirable side effects. Others take them and feel good so they think they do not need them anymore. I did that twice and went back on them. I am off of them now because I retired and a lot of the stress is gone as well as my past demons from Vietnam and 9/11. I am currently on Xanax, an anti anxiety to help me sleep. 

My story is a successful one. Top of my field, excelled at most things I did in life and have a wonderful marriage. My wife is the one who told me I am better on AD medication than off so I listened to her. I know men and women I talked to who ended up turning to illegal drugs. I even know two who committed suicide. It is worth the effort to find the right doctor and medication rather than just give up. Don’t give up on your need for medication, just give up on the type of AD and doctor. Find others if you are not getting the result you want.


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