# How do you confront WS with things you are not suppoesd to know?



## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

I have posted before about hurtful things I heard from a VAR. How can I confront WS about any of these things without giving away how I know. Or do I just bide my time and give enough rope to hang themselves. One of the bad things with a VAR is only hearing one side of the conversation when they are on the phone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You could ask a series of questions that lead to the point you are looking for.

It depends on what you heard and are tying to get your WS to admit to.


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## Self Help (Oct 22, 2013)

I would hold out until you have all of the evidence in hand. I know this is hard to do, emotions get in the way as soon as you find things out. If you overwhelm the WS with your evidence, it will be harder for them to try to dispute it. I know from personal experience that you have to take it slow, gather your info and remain calm. Good luck. I feel for you!


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Self Help said:


> I would hold out until you have all of the evidence in hand. I know this is hard to do, emotions get in the way as soon as you find things out. If you overwhelm the WS with your evidence, it will be harder for them to try to dispute it. I know from personal experience that you have to take it slow, gather your info and remain calm. Good luck. I feel for you!


Good advice - let her hang herself

Give it a week or two 

Then you gather your info and ask her in a way that leave her no options but to tell the truth.

In a sense and it's true, you end up 'making her an offer she can't refuse '!



She will - guaranteed


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Self Help said:


> I would hold out until you have all of the evidence in hand. I know this is hard to do, emotions get in the way as soon as you find things out. If you overwhelm the WS with your evidence, it will be harder for them to try to dispute it. I know from personal experience that you have to take it slow, gather your info and remain calm. Good luck. I feel for you!


:iagree:

Most people will see or hear something that is in their mind enough evidence to make an approach. However, its the heaert leading the head moment.

As Self Help says, build more evidence, go through it a number of times and create the questions that are going to be just about impossible to duck away from responding to. This will be a hammer blow for the WS. They dont see it coming and when you lay it out you have in effect the answers, they dont know you have them and will duck and dive everywhere. Its not nice but it is the only way. If there is nothing for them to answer to youll have direct honest replies for everythng without hesitation (as long as they dont know what you have tucked away) Those that are caught on the hop will lie right left and centre. Then you can keep asking the same question differing ways and wait to see the reaction. The best cannon fired is the one with the driest powder. So keep your powder very dry.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Wait for more on the var, but eventually, a friend told you, or a friend saw them.


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