# Would like a man's opinion.



## 3forme (May 18, 2017)

Is it normal for my husband to joke about ****ing or messing with another woman to his buddies? He said he would never act on any of it and was just messing around with the guys, that it was never meant for me to hear. but he still hurt my feelings pretty bad to hear him say the things he said. I haven't said much to him about it just shrugged my shoulders and kept going but everyday it's on my mind it happened a couple a weeks ago. I want to know if this truly is normal guy talk?


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## Finwe (Nov 5, 2015)

I need context. Some of my friends do joke like that and all it is just joking. I would talk to him about it. Frank and honest.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Normal guy talk where i come from!

A popular saying around my guy friends...

I'd crawl a mile on broken glass just to suck the **** that ****ed her last.

Just guy talk in my humble opinion.

None of my friends are going to act on it.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Or maybe I just have raunchy friends.

Personaly I wouldn't pick this hill to die on.


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## 3forme (May 18, 2017)

by context you mean what he actually said?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

It is pretty typical guy talk in many circles-all bluster with zero intent

But that doesn't mean it isn't horribly disrespectful to both the spouse and the subject of the lewd talk. I've not said anything like that in my adult life and I don't spend time with men who do.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I don't like it, but it is normal guy talk. And it seems like a guy who doesn't join in will be derided, and likely thought of as gay by the other guys. So yes, I have even joined in sometimes.

However, in my case it bothers me more than it bothers my wife.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Normal for some guys to talk like that with buddies. Stupid for a husband, for obvious reasons.


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## 3forme (May 18, 2017)

we have been together 10 yrs(since I was 16) and I have never heard him talk this way not even when me and him got together he was very respectful. I was the one who had to initiate things happening. so I just feel weird. when we are trying to have a conversation my mind just heard him saying it over and over. like I don't know him anymore. our relationship isn't or wasn't horrible. I just did not want to over react if this indeed normal. I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.

He said that the new girl could "give him a raise", and something about he would let her be his helper.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

So I was talking to my wife about this thread, and told her a story about an incident like this at a managers meeting not long ago. And the guys then went on to start talking about their hunting trips, and how hunting gives them a hard on and they need to jump anything with a hole... 

Now, I am certain none of them actually did, but what the heck is that about? Ugh.

They seem to just be dueling, I guess. Maybe to see who can out-gross the other. Last man standing is the macho man.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Context means what was the situation surrounding the comment. If he was playing poker or watching a football game an actress, ad woman or someone in general was commented on and you overheard it or saw it in inadvertently let it go. Also the other type of context is how it was said. They were all joking and he said "I'd hit that" yep, fairly common for some guys.


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

Just guy talk, maybe a little immature depending on the audience but not really abnormal with a group of guys

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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

3forme said:


> we have been together 10 yrs(since I was 16) and I have never heard him talk this way not even when me and him got together he was very respectful. I was the one who had to initiate things happening. so I just feel weird. when we are trying to have a conversation my mind just heard him saying it over and over. like I don't know him anymore. our relationship isn't or wasn't horrible. I just did not want to over react if this indeed normal. I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.
> 
> He said that the new girl could "give him a raise", and something about he would let her be his helper.


This is common enough talk when guys get together,pay no heed.But if you want to "retaliate" just laugh at them and say she wouldn't piss on any of you even if you were on fire.
Or better still,just say "Some men do,some men talk about it".Just ridiculing them will do the job without you getting upset.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

> I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.


Yep and society, especially in America, has taught women to bottle up any sexual expression. A guy might say "I'd hit that" instead of saying she is "hot" or "looks good."


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I've alway though it kind of funny that when george clowny(lol) or brad pitts,tom seleck etc would come on the tv my wife would gush about them. But if i did it when diane lane came on she would be offended.

Both men and women do this no big deal.


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## 3forme (May 18, 2017)

He was on the phone with one of his guy friends. I was susposed to already be gone but was still home so like he said it was never intended for me to hear. 

I feel much better that most of you say it's pretty normal. so I guess I should just let it go and move on. I think it's still gonna be in the back of my head for a while but I'm sure I'll manage.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> I've alway though it kind of funny that when george clowny(lol) or brad pitts,tom seleck etc would come on the tv my wife would gush about them. But if i did it when diane lane came on she would be offended.
> 
> Both men and women do this no big deal.


This.
A lot of single women I know think a man is gay if he doesn't do it. It's just that when they get married, I dunno, like some metamorphosis happens and they are now offended by it. Just because you switch into "married mode" doesn't mean everyone else does. Some people define themselves by different criteria than their roles.

I remember me and some Christian fellas were hanging out somewhere and this girl started telling us how ridiculous it was for us to not be sleeping around. She said if she was a man she would screw every woman she could. She even got a little insulting too.

Then she got married and her husband cheated on her within the first three months. One day at her workplace (customer service) I overheard her saying, "I don't know why some men can't keep it in their pants!"

Oh the irony!


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## spanko75 (May 18, 2017)

Normal? It happens...Disrespectful? Absolutely!!!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It happens, many, but not all men do it - I don't in general. Details and context are everything in deciding whether it is just rude comments, or indicates intent.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

3forme said:


> Is it normal for my husband to joke about ****ing or messing with another woman to his buddies? He said he would never act on any of it and was just messing around with the guys, that it was never meant for me to hear. but he still hurt my feelings pretty bad to hear him say the things he said. I haven't said much to him about it just shrugged my shoulders and kept going but everyday it's on my mind it happened a couple a weeks ago. I want to know if this truly is normal guy talk?


Guys are raunchy. I hear girls are raunchy too. Doesn't make it right. We are also full of ****.


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## _anonymous_ (Apr 18, 2016)

When in a committed relationship (whether dating or married), I've never said anything about wanting to bang hot women, when hanging out with my guy friends. 

As for whether your husband would act on it, there's a notion that people speak from the heart. So if your husband is vocalizing that he would screw someone else, it might be coming from inside. Everyone thinks they're above cheating, until they do it. In reality, everyone is capable of cheating.

Not trying to freak you out; it could just be that's how his friends talk and he's talking the same way to fit in. But even so, it wouldn't hurt for you to talk to your husband to understand if his head is in the wrong place and why that might be.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

3forme said:


> Is it normal for my husband to joke about ****ing or messing with another woman to his buddies? He said he would never act on any of it and was just messing around with the guys, that it was never meant for me to hear. but he still hurt my feelings pretty bad to hear him say the things he said. I haven't said much to him about it just shrugged my shoulders and kept going but everyday it's on my mind it happened a couple a weeks ago. I want to know if this truly is normal guy talk?


I do not talk about banging other women with friends out of respect for my W and marriage. A few of my friends might mention some woman is good looking but never go into wanting to bang the hell out of them. 

Your H knows this type of talk is disrespectful thus stating you were never meant to hear that. If you are not meant to hear something then hour H should not be saying it.


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## xxxSHxYZxxx (Apr 1, 2013)

My friends and i don't talk like that. I would never talk like that especially if my wife could hear me. I don't talk bad about my wife either, jokinglyly or not. I'm not really fans of people who do those types of things. I think it's very disrespectful . 

It's important that you talk to H about how him saying what he said made you feel. 

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