# I confronted the OW



## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

I knew where she worked....so I went to her job...I also know where she goes to church...but I chose the job site..
She turned to walk back into her job when she saw me, but I told her I wasn't going to hurt her, just talk to her. So she told me "I don't have feelings for him" first thing out of her mouth..she told me she was sorry sort of and that she couldn't change what happened...duh no kidding...I also found out there were more places of encounters than my WH told me about....I asked her why she did it (those who have been following my story know she is a worship leader in a church)....well she told me "circumstances" (whatever that means she would not elaborate on that).....
I could have said something in front of one of her coworkers but I did not...I could have cursed her from one side to the other, I did not.....I could have called her all kinds of names, I did not...I could have threatened her physically I did not....I could have etc but I did not.....
I did tell her that I forgave her, but don't like her....I also told her about getting checked for herpes and hepetitis which I have revealed on this blog about myself....she wasn't happy about those things that weren't revealed to her....
I did tell her that she is pathetic, and that I felt sorry for her and I would not want to be living in her skin......
I really didn't get any satisfaction out of seeing her, what I did see is the evil that eminates from her, as when I last looked at her, her face seemed to look almost demonic......
So....did I show the walk of Christ when I confronted her...I did...did I decern what is lurking in her....I did.....do I feel sorry for her...yes in a way but not all that sorry for her because she has put herself in the situation she now finds herself.....
She is still deluded thinking she is a good chirstian woman....HA...right!!!!!


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Shes a hypocrite? Say it isnt so.

There are plenty of ****heads practicing religion. 

What makes it so completely nauseating is so many preach the bull**** but cant themselves hold themselves to it. 

What a joke.


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

I totally agree. My WH preaches also, and walks around holier-than-thou so often that for many years I bought that garbage.

It really is so sad when people who should know better try to pretend that they are not doing wrong....

My sympathy goes out to you. Good luck! You know the right path - believe and trust in yourself!

_Edited to say: WOW to you for having the courage to confront her! I hope I am as brave as you are when I'm in your situation -- you are an inspiration!!_


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

Go to her pastor and tell all. If you don't then you are guilty of messing up that church as much as she is!!!
It it was me,,,I would bring this all out in the open. OP you should have had a VAR in a pocket and then played it to her pastor and your cheater spouse. No excuse for this hypocrite and she needs exposed NOW!!!


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

I have heard that there are more cheaters and adulterers in hidding behind Christ than one would imagine...I remember when I spoke to the D Attorney for advice just in case I decided to go that way...she told me she hears about it all the time...and my WH's councelor who is Christian also says it's throughout the churches....sad sad and triple sad....I personally don't understand how they do it.....don't they know that they will meet their Creator and Savior and we all will stand in and be judged.....says in Scripture that our reward follows us...and so does our sin....although one accepts Christ as Savior we are still Judged for those things we do after we accept the gift given by Him......Makes me wonder what grieving the Holy Sprit is....Scripture says anything can be forgiven but that......I think many walk around thinking they are under grace when they are fooling themselves.....makes me wonder.....


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

Barnibus...I wrote a letter to the Pastor of the church...he never wrote back nor acknowledged my letter....so much for that.....It is not up to me to judge...thier judgement awaits them.....


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Best pace to find someone to cheat with is in a church. At least that's what it has always seemed like.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Are you divorced from your cheating husband now? Did you see the devil in his face too? The OW is really not an issue.... the OW never promised to love, honor and cherish you, forsaking all others. 

The best revenge is to let her have him.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Thank you for reminding me why I dont associate with churchy hypocrites chasing an invisible being in the sky with all the answers. What a load of crap


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I confronted the ow too, not face to face because I would have probably beat the sh*t outta her but in an email. Believe me when I say nothing good ever comes from contacting the ow. I asked her to leave my husband alone, I told her how hurt I was and the ow in my life said she was sorry and she never meant to hurt me and blah blah blah. What I should have told her was that she had a face like a butthole and to go to hell. That would have been more productive.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I confronted the ow too, not face to face because I would have probably beat the sh*t outta her but in an email. Believe me when I say nothing good ever comes from contacting the ow. I asked her to leave my husband alone, I told her how hurt I was and the ow in my life said she was sorry and she never meant to hurt me and blah blah blah. What I should have told her was that she had a face like a butthole and to go to hell. That would have been more productive.


:rofl: you go girl


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

My XW, a serial cheater, is now the dircetor of the women's program at *******, a chem dep treatment facility in MN. She is also a "spiritual advisor"(took some BS courses and completed them(probably advertised on a matchbook cover))

Go figure, a woman who drank during her pregnancy with our first boy(he has down;s and , probably, fetal alcohol syndrome), cheated with her therapist, a lounge singer we met on vacation in Brainerd, a young bike racer she picked up in a bar(she came home and described his body to me), a lesbian state worker, and "strangers" she would meet in bars.
Yet this "spritual leader" and professed expert in AA, has never done her 9th step and admitted what she did and made amends.

I think these cheaters are among the phoniest people one can meet.


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

wow Arnold....don't even know what to say to that....


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

My wife wears a big cross, listens to Christian radio stations, tells me she has a personal relationship with Jesus, tells me she is a shining example of what it means to be a Christian, etc, etc. But she is completely out of control. Sends/receives about 200-300 text messages per day (200 of those usually to the guy-du-jour). Her mom is a minister and takes her daughters side on everything, no matter how inappropriate it is. A person's faith means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in terms of predicting their morals or convictions. It just doesn't. It means nothin

as for the preacher not responding, how long ago was it? Believe it or not you may get a response after they've prayed about for a while. I got a response from my wife's current preacher about two weeks after sending him a message that I want to talk to him. I haven't decided yet if I will respond and tell him anything. Or it could be a case of them protecting their own. I served on a committee at a church once. That did a lot of damage to my faith to see how sme churches are run and how some preachers act behind the scenes. It made me question if most religous leaders even believe in God. Seriously it made me wonder if it's all an act to them, a business. 

I have a friend who still talks to his ex-wife (divorced many years ago). She told him she is "seeing" (having sex with) one of the local preachers who happens to be married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Its behavior by so called religious people and their leaders that makes me believe that there is no god. For if there really was one, evil people like them wouldn't exist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

The best thing that can happen to these religious hypocrites is to expose them. You'll be doing them a spiritual favor by showing them the way to repentance.


Make sure you have secured your proofs.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

onthefence16 said:


> Barnibus...I wrote a letter to the Pastor of the church...he never wrote back nor acknowledged my letter....so much for that.....It is not up to me to judge...thier judgement awaits them.....


Letter may have been intercepted, may have been lost in the mail, may have been told you were a nut. I personally think exposure is essential in helping to stop further cheating.

Or, something is wrong with your pastor, maybe involved. Talk to him and find out. Your congrgation needs you.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Its behavior by so called religious people and their leaders that makes me believe that there is no god. For if there really was one, evil people like them wouldn't exist.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Evil exists because of free will. If there is no God then there is no free will, we're just riding the wave of the Big Bang.

:scratchhead:


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

onthefence16 said:


> Barnibus...I wrote a letter to the Pastor of the church...he never wrote back nor acknowledged my letter....so much for that.....It is not up to me to judge...thier judgement awaits them.....


.....It is not up to me to judge...thier judgement awaits them.....[/QUOTE]


It was pointed out to me the other day that the verse, that this idea comes from, is taken out of context more than anyother one. The Bible admonishes over and over that we judge others in order to be good Christians. One example: (paraphrase) "Do not cast pearls before swine."


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

NoIssues said:


> Thank you for reminding me why I dont associate with churchy hypocrites chasing an invisible being in the sky with all the answers. What a load of crap


What is that old saying that fundies scream......."Do as I say, not as I do"


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

OTF--good for you for doing that. I bet it lets you have some closure.


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

Wow.....how hypocritical some christians are...as I read the post I just want to scream....
I spoke with the woman I was renting from and no response, that was over a month ago maybe a month and half......I knew when she told me she wrote me a letter it was a lie...when she told me she didn't have feelings for my WH it was a lie....and everything else the TROLL told me was a lie....but that's OK....Yes I have heard of the Death Penalty....and that happens when we stand in front of the Creator of the Universe for judgement.....just because someone claims to follow Yahushua/Jesus doesn't make them saved nor does that make them a true follower....there are many minions who live in the skin of those who claim to be chistains.....I am seeing it more and more....our reward follows us...just because we ask for forgivness doesn't mean we still will not have to give account for our actions......and I wonder what is grieving the holy spirit??? Is it these supposed followers of Christ who do the very thing that brought me to this site???? I would tend to think yes.....but then again I am not the judge....I hope for my WH sake that my thoughts on that subject are incorrect....I still do love him...he is trying.....and I am working towards reconcilliation....am I a fool....only time will tell...but if this is to happen again...I will not be so amiacable and nice.....


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Good for you!! It takes two to tango and I always place the blame solely with the person you are in the relationship with.

As far as hyprocrite this or that........yep no doubt about it, but answer me this at what point does Jesus's blood not save? At what point does forgiveness for transgressions stop? 

No one likes to forgive............but if you are a christian and believe MURDERERS are forgiven. You don't think people who commit adultery are?

I hope you are healing!!


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

You misunderstand my statement....I have forgiven both of them but this does not mean we forget....forgive and forget are not in Scripture....forgivenss is....Forgiveness is for the person who is hurt not for the offender....forgivenss is to lessen the burden of pain and through this we do not take revenge.....YHWH/God is the revenger....that is Scriptual....Just because someone claims to believe does not make them a Christian....being a christian is to take up your cross and follow Him....not use Him as a cloak to hide behind.....98% of Christians are hypocrites....I myself am sometimes a hypocrite...I smoke cigaretts, I curse sometimes, I get angry and think of revenge.....but do I carry my thoughts out no...do I smoke yes...does this make me a bad person...NO....because I follow Christ.....Do you understand how hard it is to forgive truly forgive...? My WH doesn't work, he admitted to using me, he cheated on me, brought the woman to my home, etc, etc......I have forgiven him and am reconciling with him....does this mean I trust him...NO...does this mean I have to treat him with kit gloves NO.....does this mean my marriage will work....I don't know......FORGIVENSS is not for the other person but for you....Now do I believe the blood that Christ shed saves the person who confesses Christ....yes at first....but if that person then after accepting the gift of life then goes off and intentionally sins does this mean they are still saved....NO.....grieving the holy spirit is never given definition in Scripture....but I can assure you that if one accepts Christ and then turns and intentionally and willfully (key words) sins then they lose thier salvation......Christ tells the parable of the wheat and the tares....Tell me who are the tares? Is it the unbeleivers....No....it is the believers....you may want to re-read that parable.....Being a Christian or follower of Messiah does not mean we use Him and do whatever we want...nor does it mean that we should put all the blame on the advasary...because we have FREE WILL....we either walk the narrow path or we walk the wide road...we have a choice....We are forgiven but we will also stand in front of YHWH and give account of our life and what we did with it after recieving the gift of life....we will answer as to whether we picked up our cross or tossed it to the side for lustful pleasures of this world.....a Christian who willfully sins loses thier salvation and must pray and change in order to get another chance.....only through true repentance will Christ again give another chance....remember He tells the sinner go and sin NO MORE.....He does not say, hey follow me and live as you will.....NO He tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him.......remember our reward follows us....He will bring his reward or his sword........upon return to collect His elect


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'll take it to PM I don't want this to become a religious discussion.


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

PM????? This is not a religious discussion this is a discussion and it's my thread....if people want to discuss thier beliefs that is fine with me.....


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