# Please help! Legal system allowing ex to continue to drain me!



## Confused99 (Jul 29, 2010)

I've been cheated by the legal system! My ex spouse has stolen from me and taken money from me and there has been nothing I can do. He has been avoiding contact and on the run and by luck I finally found him because he posted it on Facebook. I took him to small claims court to recover some of my losses and he didn't show up and even though I won they said they're not even going to tell him he owes me money and they won't garnish him without employer or bank info! I barely even found the man in the first place!! I feel like the court should have told me not to waste my time now Im out the money hes taken from me AND $328 in filing fees and $40 gas money to go to court out of state and I missed a day of work. I cant believe you can get away with theft of property and violating a divorce decree just by simply not showing up to court. Must be nice!! I know the man's social security number birthdate and address theres got to be some affordable way to find out where he works can someone please help me out Im at wits end! I just want nothing to do with him any longer I want to get my money back and move on with my life


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Confused99 said:


> I've been cheated by the legal system! My ex spouse has stolen from me and taken money from me and there has been nothing I can do. He has been avoiding contact and on the run and by luck I finally found him because he posted it on Facebook. I took him to small claims court to recover some of my losses and he didn't show up and even though I won they said they're not even going to tell him he owes me money and they won't garnish him without employer or bank info! I barely even found the man in the first place!! I feel like the court should have told me not to waste my time now Im out the money hes taken from me AND $328 in filing fees and $40 gas money to go to court out of state and I missed a day of work. I cant believe you can get away with theft of property and violating a divorce decree just by simply not showing up to court. Must be nice!! I know the man's social security number birthdate and address theres got to be some affordable way to find out where he works can someone please help me out Im at wits end! I just want nothing to do with him any longer I want to get my money back and move on with my life


How much money are we talking about?

This is not just a divorce issue, this comes up with landlords trying to get money for damage/theft from renters, small businesses trying to get money from non-paying clients, etc.

The amount of money determines whether it is worthwhile to pursue expensive avenues (collection agencies, investigators, etc.) Many people just drop it if the amount involved does not make it worthwhile.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

It's not that the courts "won't" garnish his wages without employer or bank info, it's that they can't. The court doesn't have any real means to hunt him down. If it's a significant amount of money, it may be worth hiring a P.I. to track him down and get the information for you. Then the court will have something to work with.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Between child support, alimony, providing health insurance for my ex and the kids, paying for my ex's vehicle, school supplies, extra curriculars...over 75% of my income is court ordered to my ex wife's benefit...oh and over two years out from the divorce being final, she still doesn't have a job.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

If he owns property, you can attach a lien to his house. Actually, that's fairly easy. . .you can do that with a simple court filing. I am not sure if you can attach a lien to his car.

You have a judgment.

That's step 1 but collections can be a problem.

The credit agencies can be made aware of the judgment too. . .you can only make life miserable for him unfortunately. you can't turn him upside down and have loose change fall out unless your last name is Soprano and my first is Tony.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

What Is a Judgment Lien? | Nolo.com


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

What confuses me is if he is an "ex" how is he able to steal money from you? Or steal property from you? Didn't you separate assets during the divorce? Didn't you change locks? Passwords? If you are divorced and he is going into your accounts or into your home then it is a criminal matter, call the police. If accounts and deeds are still in both names then things get very muddy as to who's is what. 

If you are talking about him not paying support that's a different story, that's a family court issue. And no that won't track him down but if he runs afoul of the law they will arrest him if there is a judgement against him.


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## Confused99 (Jul 29, 2010)

The judgement is for about $800

I just feel like I've been completely lied to by the court system. They told me in my state that if I filed here and won they couldn't do anything about collection. When I called the state he is in they said if I won they would garnish him. They never said I had to know where he worked its taken me two years to even find out where he is. I am out more money now by going to court than I even was before and theyre not going to even tell him there is a judgement or do anything about it. So he can just owe me that money for the rest of our lives and no one cares about how hard I work for my money. I think Im more mad at the courts than I am at him. I just feel defeated right now by both him and the law.


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## Confused99 (Jul 29, 2010)

We did separate assets in the divorce but we had cosigned a vehicle together and he stopped paying so now theyre coming after me because he did not refinance and take my name off. And he had my computer to fix it and never sent it back to me.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I know that $800 is more money to some than others but frankly spending two years trying to collect and involving lawyers seems a waste, just write it off and be thankful he is out of your life.

As for the car...the banks are going to come after anyone that has their name on the loan. If you had attorneys during the divorce this should have been taken care of as division of assets, if it wasn't then shame on someone.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Confused99 said:


> The judgement is for about $800
> 
> I just feel like I've been completely lied to by the court system. They told me in my state that if I filed here and won they couldn't do anything about collection. When I called the state he is in they said if I won they would garnish him. They never said I had to know where he worked its taken me two years to even find out where he is. I am out more money now by going to court than I even was before and theyre not going to even tell him there is a judgement or do anything about it. So he can just owe me that money for the rest of our lives and no one cares about how hard I work for my money. I think Im more mad at the courts than I am at him. I just feel defeated right now by both him and the law.


The courts have never had anything to do with the actual collection. They give you the judgement and you are the one who does the enforcement. You can take the judgement to his employer or bank and get a lien, no problems, but you are the one who has to do the work. That's how it works with small claims court. Yes, in his state, they will allow the garnishment with your judgement because of reciprocity agreements between states, but they won't do the work of tracking his employer down...and in order to garnish, he has to have something to garnish in the first place. Yes, it's frustrating, but this is how it's always been, and is for everyone who gets a judgement. If he is getting paid cash under the table with no bank account, you have almost zero chance of getting anything. The courts are under no obligation to tell you these things...it is your responsibility to do your research, and if needed, find a good attorney to explain this all too you.

As far as the vehicle goes...my ex wife and I bought a new van a month before she asked for separation, unbeknownst to me, as part of her exit plan. We were both on the title, and both on the loan. The courts ordered me to take over the payments, and for her to keep the vehicle. If I were to stop paying it, it would get repossessed, and the bank would go after both of us, and they would be able to get a judgement against her as well as me, because courts can not order banks to modify loans. I would likely be found in contempt of court, as well as the judgement against me. She was not ordered to refinance the van in her name only because she had no way of securing the credit in her name only. The silver lining for me, is that my name is on the title, so she can't do anything with that van without my approval...can't sell it, can't trade it, can't scrap it, so in that regard, it has no monetary value to her, unless I allow it, and like with the bank loans, the courts can't order my name off the title.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Confused99 said:


> now Im out the money hes taken from me AND $328 in filing fees and $40 gas money to go to court out of state and I missed a day of work.


You spent 368 dollars, plus whatever your days work is worth to get back 800 dollars ? 

I agree as was already posted, 800 dollars might be a lot, but it just isn't worth it. You clearly are still looking to punish your Ex for what he did.. 

CUT YOUR LOSSES and move on... Plain and simple..

Small claims court does not go after people anyways.. The city marshals can sometimes, because they get a piece of the pie as well. They make money getting your judgement.. But again you can't take blood from a stone.. If your Ex is such a dead beat that he doesn't have the cash in some financial institution, then it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN...

The ONLY way you will get money out of him is if you strong arm him and take it from him.. But that isn't gonna happen either because you will get arrested.. 

So again its yet another dead end..

You would have been better off spending that close to 400 hundred dollars on Therapy, a nice date, a new computer, clothing, a 55 inch TV.. 

Or a photographer to take some photos and someone to professionally write up a profile for a online dating site(s).. 

Basically anything but this.. 

Nutshell yet again, if I haven't made my point yet.. LET GO, MOVE ON..

I could understand if your stuck with a car loan.. Best you can do is find the car and have it repossessed, or take it and sell it to pay off the loan..


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## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

*Re: Re: Please help! Legal system allowing ex to continue to drain me!*



samyeagar said:


> As far as the vehicle goes...my ex wife and I bought a new van a month before she asked for separation, unbeknownst to me, as part of her exit plan. We were both on the title, and both on the loan. The courts ordered me to take over the payments, and for her to keep the vehicle.


How can a judge even consider something like this.? 

This is just stupid. I kept the van we had a joint loan on and refinanced it into my name only. I would have NEVER agreed to allowing the ex to keep a van I was making payments on. Not sure how you got goat roped into this but it irritates me. Lol 


> She was not ordered to refinance the van in her name only because she had no way of securing the credit in her name only.


Then she should have coughed up the van. Or maybe have a time limit of 6 months to refinance or hand it over. 



> The silver lining for me, is that my name is on the title, so she can't do anything with that van without my approval...can't sell it, can't trade it, can't scrap it, so in that regard, it has no monetary value to her, unless I allow it, and like with the bank loans, the courts can't order my name off the title.


But you still have a loan on your credit reducing your debt to income ratio for a vehicle you can't drive or sell. 

Sorry to get off topic. Stuff like this just rubs me raw.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

daddymikey1975 said:


> How can a judge even consider something like this.?
> 
> This is just stupid. I kept the van we had a joint loan on and refinanced it into my name only. I would have NEVER agreed to allowing the ex to keep a van I was making payments on. Not sure how you got goat roped into this but it irritates me. Lol
> 
> ...


Her sides argument was that since she had the kids, she needed a reliable vehicle. The judge felt that I needed to provide it since I had a vehicle of my own.

It is affecting my DTI but it's had no adverse affects.

No, I can't drive or sell it, but she is the one in need of a vehicle, not me, so it is worth more to her from that stand point than it is me. I am listed as an interest on the insurance, so if it is wrecked and totalled, I will get some of the value, or be free of the debt, but regardless, she will have to have my signature to do anything at all with it. If it breaks down, she won't be able to trade it, scrap it without my signature, and you better bet, I'm not signing it for free. She goes to trade it in, and the dealer is going to give her 3,000 trade, my signature is going to cost her at least 1,500.


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