# unsure what to do..



## TMS62308 (Dec 3, 2012)

alright so i need everyone's advice, my husband and I have been together going on 2 yrs, and married a little over a year and he has spent 10 months of that in jail...the whole time we were together he only cared about himself, video games, smoking, and stupid stuff, he says he loves me, but i dont feel it anymore, he cant hold a job, he was fired from 3 jobs in a matter of a 90 day period...we just had a baby 2 months ago and he has yet to meet her cuz of him being in jail...he gets out on 12/6/12 and idk what i should do...should i leave and make a better life for me and my daughter, or should i sit and make it work...everyone in my family thinks if i stay my daughter and I arent going to be going anywhere in life...but i am stuck...what should i do...any questions feel free to ask...

thanks in advance..


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Choose an answer somewhere in between the two extremes if you are so torn

Have a long talk with him when he gets out. Tell him he needs to get and hold a job so he can care for his child (unfortunately this will be harder with an arrest record now). He must be done with the childish behavior and stand up and be a man.

If he can't pack and go. You deserve better


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## TMS62308 (Dec 3, 2012)

yeah, its a felony..and this isnt the 1st time ive had to have this talk with him...plus he has another daughter who is 4, and he is almost 5000 behind in CS...so doesnt that mean there is a greater chance in him going back to Jail? 

one of the main things im worried about is how are my daughter and i gonna get anywhere in life if he cant be a man and take care of his family? she doesnt deserve that...i grew up without my real father cuz he was a low life POS and i know what its like...she deserves better than that...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Well I think you know the answer to your own question.

there is no future for you OR your daughter with this man. Draw on the kindness and support of your family and learn to support yourself and your daughter if you aren't doing that already. Teach your daughter that she doesn't need a man to support her and show her that you ae a strong, independent woman.

Learn from this experience and go out of your way to not repeat hooking up with someone who is stunted in their developmental growth

Good luck!


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## TMS62308 (Dec 3, 2012)

thats exactly what i thought too, thanks so much, its very much appreciated!


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## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

If I'm not mistaken, you two being married makes you also liable for his 5k arrears in CS. Just so we're clear.


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## TMS62308 (Dec 3, 2012)

only if i have an income in, and i dont..i dont work...


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## pandorabox (Dec 7, 2012)

You already made the decision - looks like you just needed support - we do support you


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## Lilies12 (Dec 8, 2012)

I have to agree with Toffer, you are better off without him. Taking care of you and your daughter. If he already has one child he doesnt support, do you think he is going to help support the child you have together? Its not easy making the decision to end a relationship, but whatever you decide goodluck!


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