# Finances - Unfair?



## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

I am a 26 year old man. I have always been a saver even since young. When I started working I learned how to live on a budget. I am an organization freak and love numbers, so I created an income/expense log where I documented all my expenses, to the point where I could tell you how I spend every dollar that hit my bank account from 2004 to today. I know it sounds weird but because of this I've been able to enjoy awesome vacations, I bought my house with a substantial down payment by the time I was 22 and have been able to spoil myself with "toys" i want.

Problem: got married to my wife 3 years ago. My wife is a spender. has never saved a penny in her life, until she met me of course. Still, she is far from being a saver.

This has been the cause of many disagreements in our relationship. At the very beggining of our marriage, she would spend every penny that was left. I would have to use my savings in order to meat ends meet. Then when I showed her our monthly income/expense statement she would freak out because she said I was monitoring her.

In the last year or so she has improved a lot. Still, she spends a whole lot more than I do. We have come to the agreement that at the end of the month all the spending money we have leftover we would split it even into our individual spending accounts. 

Here is the issue. This month of October, my wife spent $300 on herself. I spent $60 dollars on me. and we had a whopping $65 left over. So when I gave her the monthly statement I told her that she spent $240 more than I did. that I was going to Keep the $65 for my savings. She got upset and said that it was unfair, that she wants to have savings also. I told her that normally she would but since this month she had spend so much that it was unfair that she would end up with $330 this month and me with $90. then she pulled my savings statment and saw that I had 3 times as much savings as her and she got more upset. 

I told her that just because I have more savings doesn't mean that she has had less money than I do. You have actually had more money to spend than I have. The difference I spend it differently than you. I save it and then spend it on items I really want that typically are more expensive that what she buys. Then she starts arguing about little things: and what do you want to buy with it? Me: it doesn't matter what I want to buy, If i like something I want to have the ability to buy it.

She hasn't talked to me since. I've tried to start conversation but no can do. She will answer me if I ask her something but she is very distant and short. 

I am I being unreasonable?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

No.

Does she work?


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

my dad used to say "the woman is always right"...then again he always had a little stash of money on the side.....

I do think seperating the accounts savings etc....just provides a bone of discontent. your married, whats yours is hers.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

I think you're effectively trying to change her by enforcing a budget and that never goes well regardless of how justified the reason. She was a spender before you married her and she will always be one at heart. These traits are hard to change without a major trauma occuring. It doesn't have to be logical, but I'm betting she thinks you're "controlling" and that perception will be the death of your marriage if it continues. When you monitor her spending you're pointing out her flaws and behaving in a fatherly manner. Very unsexy. It's a losing situation because she may never understand how you think. You see it as fair and she sees it as a lack of love or unconditional acceptance. In some marriages the finances are split with each partner paying bills according to their capability. It looks like you may have to divi up the bills and let her handle her side without intervention. She will most likely fail a few times and get really mad about it, but she needs to take responsibility for it herself.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Camarillo Brillo said:


> Wow, this sounds just like describing the differences between a Democrat and a Republican


Exactly. Insane, unknowing irresponsibility in the first case and insane, but knowing, irresponsibility in the second.


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## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

she does work. I earn a little over twice as much as she does. 

We go have a joint account and all our money is in that joing account. It is just on paper that we have the ability to save for ourselves. We also have joint savings for our vacations and mscl. expenses.

However, since she ended up spending all of our joint savings and left nothing for me to spend it really wasn't OUR money it was really HER money. 

it kinda made me feel like I had to race her to spend money in order to have stuff that I wanted. But, like I said it really doesn't work because stuff that I like to buy aren't cheap. Tools, electornics, etc. Stuff that normally takes a few months of savings to buy.

That is why we started this any money left over we split idea.

Anybody have a way to manage finances that has worked for them, that you think might work for us?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What is she spending her money on? Can you give us a list of what it was over the last month?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I empathize with you, but yes, you were unreasonable in that single incident. I say that because you made an agreement together, and then you stepped in and decided to change the agreement without her consent. The problem was not what she spent. It's that you failed to foresee this possibility and when it arose, you became a dictator on the subject.

What I would encourage you to consider for your finances is this: Calculate what percentage of household income each of you earns. If you earn $3,000 and she earns $1,000 then you'd be contributing 75% of the total $4,000 brought in each month. 

Whatever your basic percentages are, calculate that amount to be what each of you is responsible for contributing to paying the necessary bills each month. In other words, if your house payment, groceries, utility bills, loans, etc. require $2,500 to pay each month, then you'd pay $1,875 and she'd pay $625 of it. Whatever is left over is yours to save or spend as you see fit. 

When my ex and I used this system, it worked pretty well. He made quite a bit more than I did, and it was his idea to do this. We kept separate bank accounts and contributed to the joint account for household bills. I didn't use a credit card initially, and he put me on his account for use with grocery shopping and the things we jointly paid. Although we later changed the arrangement, this might work very well for your situation if you agree that all personal charges go on your own credit cards or get paid for by personal funds.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Well... You were unreasonable in marrying someone who was fiscally opposite of you, and expecting her to change. And honestly, you seem a little anal to the degree you track your money. She's was unreasonable for the same reason, as well as the silent treatment. So you both have issues.

Finances are one of the biggest stumbling blocks in a marriage. As is wanting kids, religion, etc... If the two of you don't have the tools in your relationship toolkits to resolve your conflicts, you may have to get some outside help. Like a good financial consultant who can maybe bring in some ideas of compromising. 

Do you have a budget? It seemed that this month, you had about $400 of "spending" money... Could you just put in $200 in a spending account for each of you, and just leave it at that? And did you "tell" her you were keeping the $65, or did you discuss it with her? Had you discussed how things were going to work before trying to split things this way? Maybe you'd get more traction if you got agreement up front of how things would work than "telling" her after. You can't say "We'll split whatever's left at the end of the month" at the beginning of the month, and then at the end of the month say "Well, you spent more than me, so I'm going to keep it all". I'd be pissed if you pulled that with me, too.

How old is she, BTW?

C


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I think you were unreasonable, based on the agreement that you had.

Look... you "spend" your money by banking it and then buying something later. That's no different than spending it now and every week. So at the end of the month, you put some of your money into buying something later, then claimed you only spent $60.

Do you both get the same spending money for the week/month? My wife and I do that and, like you, I salt a little away each week so I can afford something big later. 

Just because I didn't "spend" it doesn't mean I didn't use it for something.


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## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

Based on a couple of comments, I can see why my spouse is upset. This chaning of agreement without prior notice. I do see how it may have come out better if I would have communicated with her before keeping the $60. oh, and she's 25.

We have tried having a $200 allowance each and she didn't like it either because she wouldn't have enough to buy all that she wanted. She kept saying that it wasnt enough because she had more "needs" than I did. and that we had to have shared spending money because she felt that we were living separate lives with "your" money and "my" money. And it produced more arguments than anything. 

just because someone asked: This past month she purchased: 3 outfits, a pair of boots, and undergarments. the undergarments of course are a need, but it was only a little under $60.

I want to try the ratio split between incomes and see if that works. something has to work that we can both agree on.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I gotta say... You need to come to a good solution before she starts hitting the credit cards because someone who doesn't like budgeting eventually ends up over their head in credit.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

She has more "needs" than you??? No, she has more "wants" than you.

Tell her you "need" a bigger flat screen TV, a motorcycle, new skis (you don't ski? so what), new stereo and a monthly vacation getaway. Because of your "needs", you will now take a larger cut of available spending money.

The solution is to split the spending money so that, whether you call them wants or needs, they are reasonably met. Then live within that budget.

Leftover money stays with whomever it was budgeted.

This isn't rocket science.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Why is there an emphasis on her savings and your savings, shouldn't you be saving for things together?

What do you consider purchases "for herself" or "for yourself?"

Shouldn't budgeting be handled at the beginning of the month, rather than at the end? As another poster suggestions, shouldn't you place spending money in your respective personal accounts at the beginning of the month and then you both can spend or save accordingly. 

However, you need to have a mutual savings plan - you should be setting aside a certain portion of your collective income each money for collective expenses - in case the property taxes are higher this year, or - whatever. 

Also - your wife might have unrealistic expectations about how much she should be spending each month - or she needs to learn to shop sales or use coupons or something. But, $300 a month on clothes seems kind of extreme.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I have to say getting all of that for $300 is pretty good, especially including boots. Women cost more to upkeep generally speaking. Cut and color can easily run $200 a month. Manicure/pedicures could run another $50. Add a quality shampoo/conditioner or skin cream and you're already easily at $300 without even talking about clothing.

But you do both have to sit down and work something out together because your "scolding" her is not going to change her approach.


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## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

I do agree. I have used credit cards very little. 

She on the other hand loves credit cards. At least I have convinced her to pay them in full at the end of the month to prevent interest charges. which then doesn't make sense buying on credit because your paying it anyways. But she sees it as not spending since she doesn't see the money out of the bank account right away.

Unfortunately, I have come to learn this is what she learned from my mother in law.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Chris Taylor said:


> I think you were unreasonable, based on the agreement that you had.
> 
> Look... you "spend" your money by banking it and then buying something later. That's no different than spending it now and every week. So at the end of the month, you put some of your money into buying something later, then claimed you only spent $60.
> 
> ...


I hope you are accumulating an emergency fund before giving yourselves spending money? If not, your savings will be looted in an emergency and she'll be insulated from the reality of that situation.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Except for emergencies, credit cards should be treated as 30-day interest free loans. 

Sounds like she just never learned to live within a (realistic) budget. The allowance solution is perfect. Too bad she doesn't view your relationship as equitable. You make considerably more than her, but she gets to spend more on herself than you do on yourself? 

$300 monthly salon costs... {shakes head} Get over yourself!


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> Shouldn't budgeting be handled at the beginning of the month, rather than at the end? As another poster suggestions, shouldn't you place spending money in your respective personal accounts at the beginning of the month and then you both can spend or save accordingly.


Honestly, I think that the word "budgeting" equals "deprivation" to some people and "liberation" to others. It's the old instant gratification versus delayed gratification thing. My wife wants a fancy coffee and pastry every day and convinces herself that she deserves it and needs it. The idea that she doesn't have an extra $100 for that stuff this month doesn't even enter her mind. It's almost an alien concept to her.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

filo123 said:


> I do agree. I have used credit cards very little.
> 
> She on the other hand loves credit cards. At least I have convinced her to pay them in full at the end of the month to prevent interest charges. which then doesn't make sense buying on credit because your paying it anyways. But she sees it as not spending since she doesn't see the money out of the bank account right away.
> 
> Unfortunately, I have come to learn this is what she learned from my mother in law.


If she at least pays the balance in full each month, I hope you're using a cash-back card that at least puts *some* of the purchase price back into your pocket occasionally.


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## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

yes we do have an emergency fund. and we do contribute to it monthly. i do make it a point to have something for that rainy day(s)


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I have to say getting all of that for $300 is pretty good, especially including boots. Women cost more to upkeep generally speaking. Cut and color can easily run $200 a month. Manicure/pedicures could run another $50. Add a quality shampoo/conditioner or skin cream and you're already easily at $300 without even talking about clothing.
> 
> But you do both have to sit down and work something out together because your "scolding" her is not going to change her approach.


Sorry, but this does not fly. No way the necessities are such that she gets 80% of the left over money each month. While the OP changing the deal is wrong, it sure sounds like his wife was racing to spend the money first. The way I see it, his taking the remaining $60 to save for a larger purchase (such as a flatscreen TV) is just as legitimate a purchas as a pair of boots. I am not sure it is really changing the deal all that much.

They need to sit down, figure out the true necessities (food, shelter, etc.), figure out savings goals, and then divide up the remainder. If she is not willing to compromise, separate accounts may be the way to go.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

PBear said:


> Well... You were unreasonable in marrying someone who was fiscally opposite of you, and expecting her to change.


^this.

That's what killed my marriage. 

When I met my now ex-wife she had very little money, living paycheck to paycheck, small apartment, old car, that sort of thing.

When she married me, and my income gradually increased to a very comfortable level.. she started spending.. and spending.. and spending.

I'm very conservative and live modestly, even now, post divorce.

But during the marriage? we always fought about the spending.

People don't change, and finances are the single biggest marriage killers, even more than sexual infidelity.

Either accept that she's going to spend every dime she can, or divorce her immediately.

You can't fix this.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

filo123 said:


> Here is the issue. This month of October, my wife spent $300 on herself. I spent $60 dollars on me. and we had a whopping $65 left over. So when I gave her the monthly statement I told her that she spent $240 more than I did. that I was going to Keep the $65 for my savings. She got upset and said that it was unfair, that she wants to have savings also. I told her that normally she would but since this month she had spend so much that it was unfair that she would end up with $330 this month and me with $90. then she pulled my savings statment and saw that I had 3 times as much savings as her and she got more upset.
> .......
> 
> She hasn't talked to me since. I've tried to start conversation but no can do. She will answer me if I ask her something but she is very distant and short.


Divorce. Do it now. At this rate, you'll never retire. You will die in an office chair. If you leave her, you lose half of your stuff, but staying with her will cause you to lose all of your stuff.



> What is she spending her money on? Can you give us a list of what it was over the last month?


I would assume it's stupid things. Going out for lunch every day, new clothes every couple days, trinkets that get lost after a day. I know quite a few people like this.



> We have tried having a $200 allowance each and she didn't like it either because she wouldn't have enough to buy all that she wanted. She kept saying that it wasnt enough because she had more "needs" than I did. and that we had to have shared spending money because she felt that we were living separate lives with "your" money and "my" money. And it produced more arguments than anything.


Sounds like she only married you for your money. I would run.



> Tell her you "need" a bigger flat screen TV, a motorcycle, new skis (you don't ski? so what), new stereo and a monthly vacation getaway. Because of your "needs", you will now take a larger cut of available spending money.


This doesn't work on stupid people. My friend's parents went to war like this and it resulted in bankruptcy. They faught for a bigger share of the money then they faught for a bigger share of the credit. Eventually they run out of money and credit and there's no way to pay it back.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

These responses are the reason I liked the ratio approach so well. My husband earned just under six digits when I was making $18k a year, which meant we had a great lifestyle per my standards, but I was a potential drain on his. With the ratio style, I was left with some spending money that was about the same as I'd always had, and he didn't have to sacrifice terribly, but we both felt like I was contributing and it kept a lot of potential power struggles at bay, like when I wanted a particular kind of car and he thought I didn't need it. Since I'd saved for it and could buy it, he couldn't complain, and I got what I wanted even though he controlled most of our financial choices.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

KathyBatesel said:


> I empathize with you, but yes, you were unreasonable in that single incident. I say that because you made an agreement together, and then you stepped in and decided to change the agreement without her consent. The problem was not what she spent. It's that you failed to foresee this possibility and when it arose, you became a dictator on the subject.
> 
> ....


What did he step in and change? Please explain


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> What did he step in and change? Please explain


Fourth paragraph. The original agreement was to split hat ever was leftover. Then he changed it at the end of the month and "told her" he was keeping it all.

C


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## Seraphina (Jul 14, 2012)

As others have commented, she has some right to be upset because you had an agreement and told her you'd take the remainder when she was under the impression it would be split. 

That plan didn't work because the two of you have radically different spending styles and because she's a spender, she'll go through the money quicker than you. My husband and I have the same dynamic but in reverse: I'm the saver and he's the spender. My husband and I used to have one account for everything and he'd spend many times more than me even though we make the same earnings. We had a lot of arguments and I felt like my net worth was slipping because of his spending habits. It seemed like he was doing the spending for both of us even though I make the same income.

After about a year, I came up with a plan where at the beginning of the month, each one of us gets $600 to spend on whatever we want, no questions asked. Minus the allowance money, the rest of our pay goes into our joint account for collective expenditures like eating out, groceries, vacations, utilities, bills, furniture, etc. My husband spends all his $600 many times even before the end of the month. It's important to make it clear that excess expenditures can't be charged up on a secret credit card. I've amassed a lot in savings from my allowance and husband sometimes asks for an advance 

The allowance works out fairly well for the most part. Our joint account - that's another story and I'm trying to figure out how to save with my husband in the mix. Sounds like your wife may not go for getting an allowance based on a percentage of income since she will end up with half of what you'll get. If you're ok with it, an equal amount in allowance should be more than fair. With an equal allowance, she can't complain you're monitoring her spending.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

You broke the agreement,however the agreement was unfair to you and she was unfair to you with wanting that money.

Make a new agreement,you had 425$ total spending money,just cut it in half so you both have 212$ and don't let her talk you into anything more for her.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Seraphina said:


> As others have commented, she has some right to be upset because you had an agreement and told her you'd take the remainder when she was under the impression it would be split.


OP also should be upset that his wife only cares about herself,this is isn't 2 strangers having a deal and then one wants to spend as much money as possible to get the most $ possible.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> These responses are the reason I liked the ratio approach so well. My husband earned just under six digits when I was making $18k a year, which meant we had a great lifestyle per my standards, but I was a potential drain on his. With the ratio style, I was left with some spending money that was about the same as I'd always had, and he didn't have to sacrifice terribly, but we both felt like I was contributing and it kept a lot of potential power struggles at bay, like when I wanted a particular kind of car and he thought I didn't need it. Since I'd saved for it and could buy it, he couldn't complain, and I got what I wanted even though he controlled most of our financial choices.


This sounds like a pretty solid deal. As long as you can demonstrate that you're not completely retarded, he'll take care of the rest :smthumbup:

I'm in a similar arrangement right now. My gf works part time and is a student part time, so I pay for all of the food, utilities, light bulbs, dishes, etc. She pays a little under half of the rent. I'm willing to share the stuff that I have (food and utilities), but I refuse to give money to people. I will not buy your boots, your clothes, or your jewelry.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PBear said:


> Fourth paragraph. The original agreement was to split hat ever was leftover. Then he changed it at the end of the month and "told her" he was keeping it all.
> 
> C


I misiterpreted his plan.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Filo123,

You had it almost right…. 
Put all of your money, hers and yours into one account. Pay all the bills and put some in savings for special items that you both agree on, vacations and rainy days.

Bill are rent/mortgage, utilizes, phones, internet, TV, agreed-upon grocery and house hold cleaning items, household maintenance/repairs.
Then after the bills and savings, split the money 50/50. Each of you can spend your 50% or save it as you chose. 

The problem with the way you were doing it is that you did savings, bills… then you both blew money … and then split what was left over after blowing the money… 

I’d suggest that the two of you read the book “Smart Couples Finish Rich”. It shows a very clear and easy way to handle money and get ahead. Maybe the two of you could read it aloud to each other and discuss it.

It has some very easy to understand examples of why spending money on little things hurts so much in the end. 

The reason I asked what she spends money on is because it’s easy for one person to accuse the other of spending out of control. But sometimes one spouse will basically push real household and/or family expenses on the other .. the pick on the person who is forced to pick up the slack.

For example my son’s father used to get no my case saying that I spend too much. Well, we paid for the bills as mentioned above and split the discretionary money every pay day. However he would not pay things like our son’s medical bills, clothing and toys for our son, most of the groceries, and on and on. So he had a good savings of his own and I had much less.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Seraphina said:


> As others have commented, she has some right to be upset because you had an agreement and told her you'd take the remainder when she was under the impression it would be split.


So as I thought about this last night, I have concluded that this is wrong. They are not two business partners that wrote out a contract. They are a husband and wife. There is not only the letter of the deal but the spirit. For ehr to spend as much as she can on herself, leaving him with nothing, then expecting that what little remains is split equal (particularly when he might be saving up for something), violates the spirit of that agreement. That is not thinking about your partner, it is thinking about how you can get the most for yourself while using the deal to your advantage. 

He may have broke the smaller deal, but she is breaking the larger marriage deal.


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## filo123 (Oct 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Filo123,
> 
> You had it almost right….
> Put all of your money, hers and yours into one account. Pay all the bills and put some in savings for special items that you both agree on, vacations and rainy days.
> ...


Last night we came to this exact agreement. She still didn't seem to thrilled about it. She says I am creating boundaries between us because I want my own savings. That I look too much into who spends what.

I told her that I had to. I'm the one that handles the accounting and have to balance our budget for our expenses and make sure everything gets paid. 

I don't know how else to phrase it so that she understands that I don't mind that she spends on things she wants, but that I also want to have the exact same ability. Whether it is blowing it all in one month or saving it for something I really want down the line.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

filo123 said:


> I don't know how else to phrase it so that she understands that I don't mind that she spends on things she wants, but that I also want to have the exact same ability. Whether it is blowing it all in one month or saving it for something I really want down the line.


You view money as a resource to be managed. Your wife views it, spending it, as a source of comfort, the same way some people eat. Totally different outlooks. It doesn't make sense give up comfort just to have it later and the more she spends the better she feels. 

Maybe you can set up a long term goal for her to save towards so that she can experience it for herself.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

I saw this coming because I have BTDT. I can say with near-certainty that your attempts to settle this issue while she has this mindset will fail. The issue is not that you have explained yourself badly.

The issue is that your wife considers her wants and needs superior to yours. Her saying she has more "needs" is just a nice way of saying she expects to come first and for you to take a back seat.

Most people would agree her attitude is not appropriate. But she does believe it. You absolutely must have her fundamental agreement that (1) your needs are as important as hers and (2) given the large income disparity, she is just as responsible for the financial wellbeing of the family as you.

You need to decide what a fair allocation of household expenses is and present her with that. I think that a 2:1 split is a good starting point given your incomes and her spending issues. You can negotiate on the actual dollars each of you contributes, but the presumption that you matter as much as her needs to be set in stone. If you relent and allow her more it is because you want to enrich her life and increase her happiness, not because she is entitled to it.

If you can't get her to agree in concept, seriously consider what your next steps will be and whether you even want to be with someone like that. Also, watch the books carefully. If she really feels entitled, what is to stop her from diverting part of her paycheck, taking out credit cards without your knowledge, etc.? Also, what is to say she won't adopt this attitude in other aspects of your life (sex, child-rearing)?



filo123 said:


> We have tried having a $200 allowance each and she didn't like it either because she wouldn't have enough to buy all that she wanted. She kept saying that it wasnt enough because she had more "needs" than I did. and that we had to have shared spending money because she felt that we were living separate lives with "your" money and "my" money. And it produced more arguments than anything.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Separate accounts might not help. She could hold a grudge, or she could go down to HR and stop her check from hitting the joint account. Or, she just could let balances pile up on the cc and make it his problem.

He must get that agreement that he matters as much as she.



Tall Average Guy said:


> Sorry, but this does not fly. No way the necessities are such that she gets 80% of the left over money each month. While the OP changing the deal is wrong, it sure sounds like his wife was racing to spend the money first. The way I see it, his taking the remaining $60 to save for a larger purchase (such as a flatscreen TV) is just as legitimate a purchas as a pair of boots. I am not sure it is really changing the deal all that much.
> 
> They need to sit down, figure out the true necessities (food, shelter, etc.), figure out savings goals, and then divide up the remainder. If she is not willing to compromise, separate accounts may be the way to go.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

While not quite related to the pure financials- what's your expectation about how she looks? If you make a fair amount of money, which your background seems to indicate - does she potentially feel like she needs to compete with your co-workers wives or even your female co-workers? Do they dress well, wear expensive clothes?

I'm just wondering if there couldn't be a deeper reason behind the spending, and while the budget issue might address the financial concerns, there might be a remaining one. 

Just something to think about.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Enjoli, 
Do you really believe a woman is 'entitled', to spend all that 'extra' money because - it costs women a lot to have that 'high gloss' look? 

When I was growing up, the women who had a need to look that way paid for it by:
- working hard to make the money needed to fund it
- marrying 'up' financially 

If the high gloss look isn't generating lots of income (and it often isn't), the question becomes - who is she doing this for? 

This is why I am so grateful that the Good Wife is an ivory girl.


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