# eighteen years and no happy birthday



## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Wowza. I guess I knew it would bother me but I just didnt know how much. His mom and dad came by brought me a present. His sister called we talked for about an hour. I can pretend it doesnt hurt but its kind of heartbreaking when your partner of eighteen years, no matter what youve been through or who hes been scr&%:[email protected] doesnt even send you a crappy text on your bday. WOW. I feel like the biggest misfit toy right now. You can say he forgot but his moms bday was day before yest and his sisters was yest. 19, 20, 21. So no he didnt forget just doesnt care. Anyway sorry I know Im whining but It really does hurt.
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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Happy Birthday to you! 

I know it hurts bad to not be recognized by your husband.

Hope you have better days ahead.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Thanks cw . I hope I have better days too. I should have been focused on the positive like my kids and friends. I guess I was just not prepared for reality. maybe thats what that means reality bites.
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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Hey Happy Birthday to you.
I can understand your disappointment, my b-day was in Oct, same thing, we were actually at a huge event, lots of birthday wishes, even a public announcement when the speaches at the event took place, but not a card nor a birthday wish from my husband, it ruined my whole day.......why do they feel they have to be so insensitive.
It's tough I know but hang in there, one day at a time..
keep your chin up and keep moving forward...


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Thanks jess and happy belated bday to you. As to why their so insensitive I have no Idea other than my H turned into a pod person the day he told me he didnt want to be married any more. I dont even know that dude. I guess we will be having the normal xmas dinner though. That will be another weird deal. I usually love the holidays but im truly ready to move past them this year.
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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

I hear you noideato20, we are also going to do the weird xmas celebrations like nothing is wrong between us.....he hasn't told his family yet.....
I love the holidays and I hate this hanging over us.....
Our boys are home for the holidays(they are in university) and everyone is walking on egg shells, so uncomfortable, I can't wait for it all to be over and we can all breathe easy again.....
try to have a great xmas don't let anyone break your spirit and your positivity........


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Happy belated birthday.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Thanks nice guy. Ok I have a question for everyone. Think I know the answer but I want input. We always open gifts with the kids on xmas eve. Should he be invited or not? Same with xmas morn and santa. My gut tells me no because it was his decision to leave family life.
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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

Guess nobody wanted to answer that last question. I cant do it anyway I would just have the kids ask him. I am spending way to much on xmas I feel like I am saying to the kids " hey sorry about your broken home and everything heres a bunch of presents". Im exhausted and emotionally drained tonight. My daughter texted me she is going over to his apt for a visit. That should be interesting. I just think we need to get these holidays behind us because there are to many family obligations.
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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Has he even asked to be part of Christmas? If he doesn't make an effort, I see no reason for you to invite him.

If he contacts you and wants to be involved, then maybe he could come over early Christmas morning for a short time. My kids are still young enough that Christmas is about them - so I would try to put aside my differences temporarily in order to make things feel complete for the kids.

Thats just my opinion. Tough question with no easy answers.


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

No he hasnt asked to be involved. He doesnt even call me about anything. Didnt even call me on my bithday so I imagine he is quite happy with the way things are. I dont know what my problem is Im just having a very hard time accepting the fact that its over. Some days I do fine and then I back in the well maybe phase. Im gonna go to that divorce care group after the holidays. Until then I dont know short of a little shock therapy what is gonna move me into accepting this.


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