# My husband has a foot fetish to the extreme!



## citygirl88

We have been married 2years, I love this man with all my heart. He has 
A foot fetish and whatever I do the things he has asked me to do.
He goes on fetish sites constantly! Ill be in the shower or sleeping it doesn't matter. 
When he gets the chance he looks.
Thats great I don't have a problem with that.
What I do have a problem with is him looking at my friends feet or my sisters feet!
He secretly takes pics of women's feet that he encounters. He does not 
Know that I know this. Its breaking my heart because I feel like I'm not good enough.
I have low self esteem as it is so when I see this ****, I break down. 
I don't want him to know i was snooping around on his computer, but this needs to stop! 
Should this not bother me as much as it is bothering me?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc

Well he seems to have no boundies which is the main problem. Would he see someone for help?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## citygirl88

mablenc said:


> Well he seems to have no boundies which is the main problem. Would he see someone for help?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Im not sure if he would... I guess I would have to let 
Him know that I know about his habbits before I ask him 
To seek help. Its crazy because other than this our marriage is perfect,
Hes a hard worker, helps out around the house, He would
Never cheat or anything like that. So I dont know if this is as big as a problem
As im thinking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gman95901

citygirl88 said:


> We have been married 2years, I love this man with all my heart. He has
> A foot fetish and whatever I do the things he has asked me to do.
> He goes on fetish sites constantly! Ill be in the shower or sleeping it doesn't matter.
> When he gets the chance he looks.
> Thats great I don't have a problem with that.
> What I do have a problem with is him looking at my friends feet or my sisters feet!
> He secretly takes pics of women's feet that he encounters. He does not
> Know that I know this. Its breaking my heart because I feel like I'm not good enough.
> I have low self esteem as it is so when I see this ****, I break down.
> I don't want him to know i was snooping around on his computer, but this needs to stop!
> Should this not bother me as much as it is bothering me?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is a common occurrence for someone married to a foot man. They are supremely visual creatures who react solely to visual stimulation without sometimes comprehending the very fact that they are doing it. This is simply someone who has not yet been able to comprehend that there has to be some boundaries within a relationship such as marriage. The husband simply needs to learn to bring his urges under control and not act on them indiscriminately.

That said, this is in no way a reflection upon you or your feet, especially since you are obviously trying to accommodate his unique character trait. I agree that he needs to control his behavior, but perhaps it is now time to discuss it and set some boundaries...


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## Shaggy

He needs to include boundaries in his actions and choices.

If he has such a strong compulsion that he can't control it, then he's crossed from having an interest into having a problem that he just might need to spend sometime learning to manage since it's interfering with his life.


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## Fleur de Cactus

I think it is ok to have foot fetish, but he needs to know that this kind of interest of other women,s feet in public is not appropriate. He needs how to have some limitation, maybe therapy could help?


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## citygirl88

I keep thinking of how the conversation would go if i started to talk about it.
I want to get it all out without him feeling embarrassed or defensive.
Maybe ill write him a letter.... He says that he cant help looking while out in public and described 
It to me like... Imagine if a girl walked in topless. Of course your going to look. 
My only problem is that hes taking pics so he can masterbate to other women and that makes me
Feel so ugly....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gman95901

citygirl88 said:


> I keep thinking of how the conversation would go if i started to talk about it.
> I want to get it all out without him feeling embarrassed or defensive.
> Maybe ill write him a letter.... He says that he cant help looking while out in public and described
> It to me like... Imagine if a girl walked in topless. Of course your going to look.
> My only problem is that hes taking pics so he can masterbate to other women and that makes me
> Feel so ugly....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think a letter is a very good place to start.

All foot men are very visual as I stated previously and we have to learn to temper the rubber neck compulsion to look at every pair of feet that walks down the street. 

We are uniquely tuned into the visuals, sounds and even aromas that go along with it and it takes some personal growth to overcome them all. Each of us has a specific cue with regards to feet if you will, that we each find uniquely exciting. For some it can be the sound of flip-flops across the pavement while for others it can be the sight of a car driving up with a pair of bare feet up on the dash. The point is we have to learn to deal with these foot cues since they are almost everywhere one goes, especially in the warmer months of the year. If you can relay to him in a positive way how you feel when he looks in your letter, you may be able to open his eyes to the fact that he needs to work at controlling the compulsion to look and photograph what he has seen.....


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## Fleur de Cactus

Stick with Gman,he has good advice, he can help you through this. Good luck.


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## citygirl88

Thank you so much! Its so hard bc im 25 and he's 30 so he says that im not at my sexual peak yet i dont know... Im trying to be open minded. Im ok with so many things but takin pics of my sisters feet NOT OK! Thats my best friend and thats what bothers me the most!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fleur de Cactus

I think you are right, he should respect some boundaries. He only say that you are not at your sexual peak to justify his behavior . Just ask him to go for marriage counselling.


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## citygirl88

...... I honestly don't want to go to therapy. We are pretty well known and I don't want people in the community having opinions about us. Im not completely against it. I'd just rather not...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fleur de Cactus

If you are known in the community, this is the reason he should control himself, because if he continues to take pics of other women, one day people will find out!!


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## gman95901

citygirl88 said:


> Thank you so much! Its so hard bc im 25 and he's 30 so he says that im not at my sexual peak yet i dont know... Im trying to be open minded. Im ok with so many things but takin pics of my sisters feet NOT OK! Thats my best friend and thats what bothers me the most!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree, its not very cool. But again you have to look the rational of a foot man at this point to clearly understand what this is about. This is not only about the visuals, but also that 'forbidden fruit' syndrome that so many foot men go through. For some that object of fascination is their wife's sister or even her mother and many of us go through it, although taking pictures is indeed very bold and crossing some boundaries. I am not condoning his actions and I am merely trying to give you some insight to understand the rationale...


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## Maneo

citygirl88 said:


> ...... I honestly don't want to go to therapy. We are pretty well known and I don't want people in the community having opinions about us. Im not completely against it. I'd just rather not...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Agree with others on need to set boundaries. As far as therapy, unless you live in a small community and the therapist is professional which would include staff, no one need know you are in therapy and certainly not any specifics. Put the relationship ahead of a few gossiping neighbors.


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## mablenc

We did neurofeedback for my sons autism, I learned quite a bit about brain connections. Anyway there is a theory that a fetish is actually a missed connection from the part of the brain that controls sexual desire connecting to another irrelevant area. Which is why to others it's difficult understand why foot would be arousing.

Even though he's a good husband, there is a lack of boundaries. You clearly seem uncomfortable and have every reason to let him know. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gman95901

mablenc said:


> We did neurofeedback for my sons autism, I learned quite a bit about brain connections. Anyway there is a theory that a fetish is actually a missed connection from the part of the brain that controls sexual desire connecting to another irrelevant area. Which is why to others it's difficult understand why foot would be arousing.
> 
> Even though he's a good husband, there is a lack of boundaries. You clearly seem uncomfortable and have every reason to let him know. Good luck.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There are many theories including the fact that feet and genitals are neural neighbors in the somatosensory cortex. 

The research proposed by Ogi Ogas, Ph.D which states that the foot is a classical example of a male sexual cue that gives rise to a variety of cued interests, is probably the more accurate reasoning for why men have these type of partialisms. My own was created by a specific foot cue and countless other men can relate the exact moment of their own cue.

Regardless of what caused it, I agree-there is a lack of boundaries here that does need to be discussed...


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## citygirl88

How should i approach it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gman95901

citygirl88 said:


> How should i approach it?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think you said earlier you had thought about writing a letter. I think that getting your ideas on paper at least is a good way to start. And then perhaps you can decide if you want to just have him read it, or very calmly discuss your concerns from what you have written. Tell him how it makes you feel when he does it...


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## citygirl88

I cant bring myself to write a letter or talk about it bc i dont want him to get embarrassed or mad. Maybe I should go see a therapist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gman95901

citygirl88 said:


> I cant bring myself to write a letter or talk about it bc i dont want him to get embarrassed or mad. Maybe I should go see a therapist.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, the bottom line is that all of us with this predilection have to get comfortable with who we are and we have to be able to relate to our spouse what it is that we need. I believe that communication is always the key. Talking about it is the only thing that is going to resolve the issue. Perhaps you can start the conversation by letting him know what you are okay with and go from there...


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## DaneSivar

Hi Citigirl. Interesting post so I thought Ide give you a mans perspective. Im a 30 something, motivated, and confident male with, like your husband, an extreme foot fetish. For the most part, i believed this to be just creepy to others but the truth about foot fetisists is that they can be extremely caring and giving to their partners. I too sort other means of fulfilling this desire... it never burns out... just gets stronger.

4 years ago i married the love of my life with gorgeous feet. I started off introducing her to the idea slowly but soon she became uneasy as most of my desire was focused on her feet. In the first year our marriage took strain and I sort to other means. I sent an email to a dominatix, not to act it out but it intrigued me that someone might enjoy me worshipping them. My wife found out... initially it was terrible but soon after we reached a compromise and she tried (bless her soul) to please me this way. It started out with massages, kisses, I told her what I liked, the way i felt about her and her feet. As time passed, she started to enjoy the fact that i was utterly turned on by this and slowly we have reached a point where she actually enjoys having her feet worshipped. Today she loves the attention her feet gets, is stoked that she can drive me crazy at any moment, revels in the fact that i get jealous when other guys drool over her feet and importantly knows that if i was ever rude to her during the week, she would get her own back by being brutally dominant with her feet, heels, whatever

We are a happy couple and our sex life is great. My advice to you is... get a pedicure, buy a crazy set of hooker heels, throw him to the floor and make him worship your feet. The more brutal, the better. 

There is no internet porn anymore, unless we both watch or she wants other ideas to torture me with. I hardly ever look at other ladies feet unless we could use the stileto in our sessions. and if im ever feeling adulterous, I revel in the thought that my wife will and continue to do it all for me. Try it, he will be all putty at the though of you doing it for him and better still - enjoying every moment


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## DaneSivar

ps... if you need any advice on how to liven up the scene for both of you, pm me... i reply or get my wife to reply. We have done some crazy stuff, but shared our fantasies with each other and acted it out. Goodluck


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## gman95901

DaneSivar said:


> ps... if you need any advice on how to liven up the scene for both of you, pm me... i reply or get my wife to reply. We have done some crazy stuff, but shared our fantasies with each other and acted it out. Goodluck


If you look at her activity, I think she has moved on. She has not been back on this forum for well over a month....


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## Fordsvt

I have a high heel fetish....kind of the same but different.


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## WalterWhite420

I'm a guy who finds my wife's feet very pretty. I love to massage them, and it gets me all worked up libido-wise when I do. She keeps them soft and tanned, no callouses or rough spots, uses nail polish colors that accent what she's wearing, etc. I especially like to watch her paint her toenails, and love to watch her walk around the house barefooted. To me, she's gorgeous all over, feet and all.

I say all this, and open myself up to being made fun of here, because I want to tell you that if he is fantasizing about your sister's feet enough to secretly photograph them, then I think he very much wants her sexually. This is my opinion because I know if I were that infatuated with your sister's feet, it would make me have strong sexual desire for her.


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