# Im really just needing some advice. Young couple here.



## justneedingsomehelp (Jul 8, 2013)

Me ( 19/F) and My husband (24/M) have been married for 2 1/2 years been together for 4 years and have a little 2 year old. Here is where i need help. I have a lot of self doubt problems. I really can't make a decision for myself without second guessing it. I love my husband to death but lately ive been second guessing our marriage. Its driving me crazy because part of me loves him and another is saying the opposite. He is my best friend and the only person i have but im letting this bother me so bad that im becoming clingy and not having any happiness with him. He has done nothing bad to me. He nags a lot but i know deep down its to better me. What should i do? Is this normal? I don't want to leave him. I want to figure out whats wrong and what i can do to fix it. Thanks in advance for any advice.


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## GetTough (Jul 18, 2010)

Sounds like you both would benefit from professional counseling. Be clear where you stand. Are you prepared to live with the nagging, or not? Remember the nagging is not necessarily him. He might be able to change that. You just need to be clear whether you need to make a stand on this.

If he's constantly trying to change you, that's not going to help you to feel good about him or the relationship. Over time you will identify the nagging too strongly with HIM and it may be more difficult for him to change. Often problems are best addressed early. Only you can say whether this is the biggest problem or if there are others too.

If there are aspects of your behavior that you would want to change for yourself anyway, then it can't hurt to work on those too.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Now wait a minute... If you're 19 and married for 2.5 years, you got married when you were 16? To a 21 year old?

Where were your parents in all this?

C


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

PBear said:


> Now wait a minute... If you're 19 and married for 2.5 years, you got married when you were 16? To a 21 year old?
> 
> Where were your parents in all this?
> 
> C


If this is not a troll post, the fact that they have a 2 year old child and been married 2.5 years should clarify things....


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> If this is not a troll post, the fact that they have a 2 year old child and been married 2.5 years should clarify things....


Right. Because only married people can have kids...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

PBear said:


> Right. Because only married people can have kids...
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Huh? Let me connect the dots for you then. She got knocked up and there was probably some pressure from either his or her parents that they get married, or he felt some obligation to do it. Happens all the time. It is pretty obvious that they got married because she was pregnant.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

justneedingsomehelp said:


> Me ( 19/F) and My husband (24/M) have been married for 2 1/2 years been together for 4 years and have a little 2 year old. Here is where i need help. I have a lot of self doubt problems. I really can't make a decision for myself without second guessing it. I love my husband to death but lately ive been second guessing our marriage. Its driving me crazy because part of me loves him and another is saying the opposite. He is my best friend and the only person i have but im letting this bother me so bad that im becoming clingy and not having any happiness with him. He has done nothing bad to me. He nags a lot but i know deep down its to better me. What should i do? Is this normal? I don't want to leave him. I want to figure out whats wrong and what i can do to fix it. Thanks in advance for any advice.


Child or not, you married way too young. That doesn't mean your marriage is doomed to fail, it just means you both got married before you had a chance to grow up....you were still a child for fawk sake!

You are going to have all kinds of highs and lows in a marriage, especially at your young age. Marriage at your age is very hard and takes a lot of work. If you work together, and communicate your issues, you can grow together, make a strong bond and have a stable marriage for the long term. 

You should try some MC, or even group marriage retreat style sessions. Having 3rd party prospective will let you know how common or not the issues you face are. You will see that in many areas, you are not alone, it is very common....other areas will be unique to your situation and the two of you, your husband and yourself. 

Look at local resources for MC and talk to your husband about it. Let him know that you want the marriage to work and you are willing to do what it takes...see if he is on board. If he is not interested in improving the relationship or addressing your concerns, things will not get better.

It takes 2 people to make a marriage work. You guys have to work together. Talk to him, get on the same page, bring each other up to speed with how you feel about the issues which concern each of you, and go from there. It's all about teamwork.

Good luck.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

You are 19, but you two have "been together" for four years. *So you were 15 and he was 20 when you started dating?* He's lucky he isn't in jail. My daughter is 15, and if she was dating a 20 year old I would kill him. 

You two are having problems because he's the only real guy you've ever been with, and you are starting things waaaaaay too early in life.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

You are growing up, which is why you feel the way you do. You're seeking independence in thoughts and decisions. You now feel that you dont need to be hand held, which is why hes annoying you. Keep in mind he knows no other way. He'll notice your maturity and start letting go. It's a stage for both of you.

You will need support from him and others as you step into a diffrent phase in your life. I'm sure with the baby you had to grow up at fast pace. Now, you're probably looking at things different and more long term as in who you are and what you want to do witty your life. 

Before this you had to figure out parenting and married life in short term.


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