# My WS is mad at me...



## Uno (Mar 22, 2016)

Hi everyone, I'm new to this group. I'm married to my wife a little less than a year and I recently discovered she was having an affair for a month. She told me she was not seeing the AP and it was just sexual relationship. I told her I can forgive her for this one time and we should try to work on our marriage. She said she was sorry but she never asked me to forgive her nor did she give me the feeling that she was remorseful. For a couple of days after the Dday I treated her as usual or may be even better and never mentioned about the affair. She told me whatever I did just irritated her and that she wanted out. She wanted more alone time to figure out what she wants and whether we will try to R. We went out a few times after she moved and those were just fine. She treated me the way she used to except we don't have any physical contact. She sometimes came up with ideas as to places to go next time and also told me that she may be moving back to our home after this 'cooling period'. One day I found out that she was still seeing her AP and I asked her to decide whether we will try work things out and she should stop seeing him. She chose to separate and said she was still mad at me. I have no idea why she was so mad when she was the one who have done so much damages to our marriage. We are on NC for almost a month now. Any advice will be very much appreciated.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Blame shifting....she is pushing her guilt on you...walk away from her completely is it not worthy of you...time to make you number one in your life, she is a cheater and has demonstrate no one ounce of respect for you or your marriage.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Grow some balls and divorce her. Jeez, why would you want an unfaithful wife? Time to move on.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Uno,

Gather up all the proof you have of the affair, hire a PI to get photos perhaps.

Send messages to the OMs wife or girl friend, parents, siblings, other family, workplace, church, facebook, linkedin etc. 

When you do the exposure do it all at once without warning or threats, it will deal a mortal blow to the OM. Do not let your W know you are about to do it or she will collude with the OM to paint you as a crazy jealous husband.

Add a photo of your W in her wedding dress to the message.

Tamat


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

How is this even a question?

File for divorce ASAP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Uno said:


> Hi everyone, I'm new to this group. I'm married to my wife a little less than a year and I recently discovered she was having an affair for a month.


You've been married for less than one year, your wife had an affair and is not remorseful, and after walking on egg shells, you're here trying to figure out how to put an end to this hell you've been in. Sorry, but this is a very simple, clear-cut case. You begin by giving yourself a symbolic slap in the face and telling yourself that you are better than this. 

No more pleasant dates while your wife visits her lover whenever she's in the mood. She currently views her lover as being the manly one in her life. Show her that you are much more of a man than her POS lover and by exposing her and divorcing her.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...409/10-signs-youre-in-relationship-narcissist


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Seek an annulment ASAP.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

What exactly are we giving advice on? Your wife cheated, you separated, she moved out and now you haven’t talked in a month?

I’m sorry, but it sounds like she’s checked out. 

Do you want her back? 

Does she want to work on things?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

File and block her and check yourself into counseling. Its not your fault she is a wreck. The sooner you cut her out of your life the happier your going to be. 

C


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

LosingHim said:


> What exactly are we giving advice on? Your wife cheated, you separated, she moved out and now you haven’t talked in a month?
> 
> I’m sorry, but it sounds like she’s checked out.
> 
> ...


Yeah, your marriage is over. Just file for divorce and move on with your new life.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Do you have any kids with her? If not divorce her. Probably should anyway. What state do you live in?

Get tested for STDs

Married less than a year and she was having casual sex. During your honeymoon phase where the two of you should be porking like rabbits.

Do you suffer self esteem issues? Are you afraid you won't find another girl? Even if you can't, Rosy Palm is a better alternative to staying married to this girl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Uno said:


> Any advice will be very much appreciated.


What do you want advice on - how to grow a pair of balls?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She wanted to separate so she could see her AP whenever she wanted to. While keeping you in reserve as Plan B in case Plan A (her AP) didn't work out. That's where you are. If you want to wait around, she may eventually come back. But why would you want that life?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ask yourself if you are prepared to hear multiple times in your marriage (that isn't happening anyway) that your wife is banging other guys. If you'd prefer not to hear this, you need to divorce and find a faithful wife. It's hard to do, but not impossible. Getting a faithful wife out of this one in the future will be impossible unless she has a surgical alteration.

Change is hard. But a change is REQUIRED in this case. Annulment, if possible. You have grounds.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You need to stop being a weak, pathetic doormat. This is your life and you're waiting on her to decide?????? She's rubbing this in your face man. Cmon!!!!!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Mat, may I call you Mat? She is a ho. You don't want a ho for a wife. Divorce her ASAP


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

As Gus said: how is this even a question? What's the matter with you? Jeez! I am more worried about you (and your thinking) than the affair!

Get rid of her and stop asking silly questions!


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Who cares if she is mad, get a divorce she will never be faithful even if she does / you let her back.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

She is projecting, she is not remorseful... and as you see, she is enjoying her time with her new boyfriend. Her anger is typical of a cheating spouse. Sounds like YOU DON'T have kids. So divorce and ejecting her from your life is a lot easier. Less than a year and she is already doing this? She isn't doing anything to fix the relationship and total lack of contact shows this as well.

Do what others have said, get counselling, see a lawyer TODAY about getting ready to file for divorce if you cannot get an annulment.

Also, I would say locate WHO the POSOM (Piece of S~ other man), any info on him - such as a wife, girlfriend, place of work. I'm betting he is a CO-WORKER, right?

Then make it public as to why you are divorcing her. And when its done, don't look back.

Oh, and start dating again.... work on yourself, go to the gym and work out.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

File for D, and move on------your WW, already knows she can control you---she is calling the shots, and you are allowing it-----if you R., she will just continue to cheat, as she knows you basically will do nothing about it


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

She has decided for you...... so to stop her coming back and making you a fall back plan do the following or face a 
lifetime of deceit or her going off on another adventure

Get divorce papers drawn up and have her served

Change the locks and put all her possession's in bags and store in garage

One good way to get your head clear and think straight is to book into a gym and start to go 3 times a week and work 
out.... the chemical's produced will help your mind and body


.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

One hears often that a WS who is still in an A and isn't at all remorseful can lash out in anger at the BS. The WS feels irritation and contempt and sees no reason to put on a polite, respectful face. It annoys your WW that you are still there and that she has to deal with you, so she takes it out on you. You see the unedited her.

Basically, it's the fact that you exist as an impediment to her bliss with her new partner that is angering her, in my opinion. Because she is checked out, she has no need to sugar coat her feelings.

So sorry. I would go to an attorney if I were you.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Have you visited a lawyer yet? If not do so asap.

Cut of all contact with her and give her no explanation of whatsoever.

If you still have joint assets etc seperate them asap.

Man up and do a 180 on her.

Sorry you are going through this but you have handled this all wrong and come accross extremely weak in the process.

She does not respect you


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

OP knows all the marriage lingo very well.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> OP knows all the marriage lingo very well.


Yep. Wished Lenzi was here he would know what to do.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Here's a machine that will provide what you need for putting up with her crap.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Do not even talk to her.

Serve her with D papers and expose her A to both your families and all friends on the same day.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Thound said:


> Yep. Wished Lenzi was here he would know what to do.


Yep.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Be glad she didn't have sex with you. Who knows what has been in there.

She is mad at you for not being mad at her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Yep, make sure her parents and her job (if co-worker is her AP) knows what kind of person she is.

You're already insulted... no reason to take it lying down.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Uno said:


> She sometimes came up with ideas as to places to go next time


 I have a suggestion where she could go and maybe you should tell her in a way she fully understands. Straight to hell. 

What's the matter with you? Go get a lawyer, file and tell her to stay where ever she is and move on. She's only going to make your life worse if you continue playing games with her.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Anulment of the marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I doubt OP will be posting in this thread again.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Thank gawd.


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## Uno (Mar 22, 2016)

Sometimes it is just difficult to cut this person off when she had been in my life for over 10 years. But yea you guys are right. I will go counselling soon. Thx for the advices.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Uno said:


> Sometimes it is just difficult to cut this person off when she had been in my life for over 10 years. But yea you guys are right. I will go counselling soon. Thx for the advices.


Dude. Come on.

_She_ has already cut YOU off.

Her request for "space"? That's waywardwifespeak for "I wanna bang this other guy for a while to see if maybe there's enough there for a real, actual relationship. If not, I *might* come back. But if I do... it will be only until the next guy comes along."

File first, then get counseling.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

As usual, Gus is right. What will be way better than having you in your life for 10 years is getting her out of your life in the future. It may be different is she gave a rats azz about you instead of letting you hang around merely as an insurance policy. She thinks you're disposable. Let her see that she is.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

alte Dame said:


> One hears often that a WS who is still in an A and isn't at all remorseful can lash out in anger at the BS. The WS feels irritation and contempt and sees no reason to put on a polite, respectful face. It annoys your WW that you are still there and that she has to deal with you, so she takes it out on you. You see the unedited her.
> 
> Basically, it's the fact that you exist as an impediment to her bliss with her new partner that is angering her, in my opinion. Because she is checked out, she has no need to sugar coat her feelings.
> 
> So sorry. I would go to an attorney if I were you.


This..^^^^

Divorce. Immediate and go dating


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here my friend.

You really need to Divorce her. There is nothing to save there. 

You should feel lucky because you dont have any children with her.

She is "wanting space" because she is seeing OM and sleeping with him. 
She is out of your home and NC with you because she dont care about you.

Get tested for STDs and talk with your lawyer. 
Expose cheaters to family and close friends.

Stay strong.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Uno said:


> Hi everyone, I'm new to this group. I'm married to my wife a little less than a year and I recently discovered she was having an affair for a month. She told me she was not seeing the AP and it was just sexual relationship. I told her I can forgive her for this one time and we should try to work on our marriage. She said she was sorry but she never asked me to forgive her nor did she give me the feeling that she was remorseful. For a couple of days after the Dday I treated her as usual or may be even better and never mentioned about the affair. She told me whatever I did just irritated her and that she wanted out. She wanted more alone time to figure out what she wants and whether we will try to R. We went out a few times after she moved and those were just fine. She treated me the way she used to except we don't have any physical contact. She sometimes came up with ideas as to places to go next time and also told me that she may be moving back to our home after this 'cooling period'. One day I found out that she was still seeing her AP and I asked her to decide whether we will try work things out and she should stop seeing him. She chose to separate and said she was still mad at me. I have no idea why she was so mad when she was the one who have done so much damages to our marriage. We are on NC for almost a month now. Any advice will be very much appreciated.



First off Newly married. A year is nothing, you guys should not even be in the 7 year slump. What a hoe. 

You then Rug swept the issue, you did not bring up HER AFFAIR, telling her YOU can forgive her was very bad. She saw your weakness and she used it. The affair went underground there because she did not want to end it. Her irritation with you was because she was still VERY much involved with the affair. 

She wanted more time alone is code for I WANT TO **** THIS DUDE AND YOU CANT DO A THING ABOUT IT. Cooling off period for whom? You, her? No this is her having her fun and EXPECTING you to be there WAITING when she was done. 

Then you find out she is still talking with the AP (big surprise) 

She is still mad at you because you are not being a DOOR MAT. she will not be angry at you if you allow her the fun she wants to have, but that has a cost too, she cannot EVER respect you if you go that way. she will keep ****ing around on you and breaking your heart. 

She is angry because she is trying to bully herself into being in the drivers seat of this marriage/seperation/divorce. Don't let her. Beat her to the filing. Go NC with her. She is NOT WORTH RUG SWEEPING OR RECONCILIATION. 

I tend to cringe at advice saying find your balls, but bro.... YOU NEED TO GET SOME BRASS ONES FOR THIS *****. 

DIVORCE is my only piece of advice. Your wife is a lost cause.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Well played Uno . That second post from you will get you another 15-20 replies. See you tomorrow for your next installment.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

GusPolinski said:


> Her request for "space"? That's waywardwifespeak for "I wanna bang this other guy for a while to see if maybe there's enough there for a real, actual relationship. If not, I *might* come back. But if I do... it will be only until the next guy comes along."


Nailed it Gus, drop the mike.

1. Get tested for STDs.
2. Separate finances.
3. consult divorce lawyer about getting an annulment/divorce.


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## memorylanee12ln (Dec 26, 2015)

She does not love you. She does not even like you. She has no respect to you & to the family. Be grateful that she showed her true colors to you early on. You know what to do. It will sting a bit. Be strong.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Uno said:


> Sometimes it is just difficult to cut this person off when she had been in my life for over 10 years. But yea you guys are right. I will go counselling soon. Thx for the advices.



Married less than a year? ... ANNULMENT!

It was never a real marriage, at least on her side.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

You are doing everything wrong. No remorse?! Fvck this b!tch!!


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

Why risk her doing it again. Tell her she blew it. Find someone that respects you more. FYI watch out for when you end it, she might try to have a baby with you to tie you down. Holes in condoms and such. Just heard about that today from a coworker.


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## Uno (Mar 22, 2016)

Hi everyone, just a little update of myself. I asked my STBXW to sign a separation agreement and had our last talk on the date of signing. She said she was thinking maybe we could have another try. She also apologised and said she still loves me but she can no longer be a giver. And yes she is still mad at me. 

I'm really angry and devastated at what she said. It was totally BS. It appears to me that she is playing a game - she admitted to our family and friends of her wrongdoing and showed others that she loves me and is so sad for what she has done. She also dropped a hint that she has feeling for OM so probably after some time she can put her relationship with this guy to surface and rationalise what she has done. On the other hand, she abandoned me and told me she is still mad and tried to shift the blames on me. 

I guess maybe I just have to accept the fact that some people are never remorseful? I just don't and will never understand why and how our family and friends feel sorry for her when she did everything to damage our marriage! And I really hate to see how hard she is trying to rationalise her relationship with her AP. 

I have had enough of this. I just wish my anger will go away fairly quickly.


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## higgsb (Apr 4, 2016)

@Uno



> I have had enough of this. I just wish my anger will go away fairly quickly.


I'd hold on to that anger for a little bit more. You sound like her plan B and the worst thing that could happen to you is her plan A falls apart and she comes back to you. In that case, you'll need that anger to get this horrid [email protected] out of your life.


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## higgsb (Apr 4, 2016)

> Why risk her doing it again. Tell her she blew it. Find someone that respects you more. FYI watch out for when you end it, she might try to have a baby with you to tie you down. Holes in condoms and such. Just heard about that today from a coworker.


I never got the logic of a man NOT wanting to impregnate a woman? In my a view, a baby does more to keep a woman under the man's thump than vice-versa. The only fear I'd have with a hoe like this (or a hoe like my wife to be honest) is the possibility of being cuckolded.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Uno said:


> Hi everyone, just a little update of myself. I asked my STBXW to sign a separation agreement and had our last talk on the date of signing. She said she was thinking maybe we could have another try. She also apologised and said she still loves me but she can no longer be a giver. And yes she is still mad at me.
> 
> *You are plan B so she is thinking "I'll keep you around until I want to dump you permanently."*
> 
> ...


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Uno said:


> I asked my STBXW to sign a separation agreement and had our last talk on the date of signing. She said she was thinking maybe we could have another try. She also apologised and said she still loves me but she can no longer be a giver. And yes she is still mad at me.


Did she actually sign the document? I would tell her that maybe you can try sometime in the future (and that time would never come), but lets just get the legal things out of the way and spend a little time apart (eternity). Don't argue with her, you are trying to use logic and that was never a factor in her decision making process. Somebody has to be to blame for this and she has decided it is you. You didn't expect her to accept responsibility for her actions? Just move on my friend, life is to short to waste another day worrying about her actions.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Uno said:


> but she can no longer be a giver.


Maybe that's a step in the right direction if it means she will no longer be giving puzzy to other guys. All you need now is remorse from her and you'd be headed for a jam up reconciliation.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Dude. Come on.
> 
> _She_ has already cut YOU off.
> 
> ...


Ugh...
You acting like the nice guy she has ZERO respect for you.
No kids, F^cking run!!!


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

:iagree::banghead::banghead::banghead:


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Can we send millenials to North Korea for reeducation???
I digress. :smile2:


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Uno said:


> She also apologised and said she still loves me but she can no longer be a giver.


 Sounds like she was only giving you a hard time, but she's a "giver" alright.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"She still loves me, but can longer be a giver..."

Don't be fooled. She doesn't still love you. Because she hasn't the foggiest notion what real love is. 'Can no longer be a giver' reveals what she real is, is someone who wants to do whatever they want irrespective of any commitment or love.
like a baby that throws a tantrum when they don't get what they want.


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## niceguy28 (May 6, 2016)

Uno said:


> Hi everyone, just a little update of myself. I asked my STBXW to sign a separation agreement and had our last talk on the date of signing. She said she was thinking maybe we could have another try. She also apologised and said she still loves me but she can no longer be a giver. And yes she is still mad at me.
> 
> I'm really angry and devastated at what she said. It was totally BS. It appears to me that she is playing a game - she admitted to our family and friends of her wrongdoing and showed others that she loves me and is so sad for what she has done. She also dropped a hint that she has feeling for OM so probably after some time she can put her relationship with this guy to surface and rationalise what she has done. On the other hand, she abandoned me and told me she is still mad and tried to shift the blames on me.
> 
> ...



If you believe her garbage you are insane. You need to give her trifling self the boot. She is no good. She realized it wouldn't work out with her fckbudy and now she's trying to get back with her plan b. Don't play yourself man. You can and should do better. Who would want a woman like that? You are now and you should realize that she has shown herself to be unworthy and you are now out of her league.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Those friends who support her are not your true friends. Dont even think about them or get angry,they are just like your wife. 

Your wife is really bad woman and she doesnt deserve you. 

No kids my friend,run and dont look back. If you have some free time read other threads,belive me you are going to learn something useful.

She will ask you again and again to take her back,but dont do it. She is having fun right now with OM and she cares so little about you.

Stay strong.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

tom67 said:


> Can we send millenials to North Korea for reeducation???
> I digress.


Well Tom67, they would probably enjoy it as they flock to Bernie sanders.lol


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Be smart said:


> Those friends who support her are not your true friends. Don't even think about them or get angry,they are just like your wife.
> 
> Your wife is really bad woman and she doesn't deserve you.
> 
> ...


They probably support her as they will have heard a different tale. That he was neglectful, frightening when angry and forced himself upon her.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Lonely husband 42301 said:


> Well Tom67, they would probably enjoy it as they flock to Bernie sanders.lol


What has this got to do with the OP?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Mr The Other said:


> What has this got to do with the OP?


A lot of kids mainly boys have been "indoctrinated" in the public fool/school system but that is a topic for another thread.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

@Uno,

Your old lady is getting off on your anger!

Even though this deceitful POS stabbed you in the back....smile and wish her the best.

Or...

Find a FWB and show your old lady you still have it and you don't need her.

At the end of the day your old lady thinks her shyt don't stink ....it's time to show her your's doesn't either.

My point is your old lady is expecting a reaction from you or having fun guessing how you will react to her shyt.....indifference ...no reaction....it's hard to play games when you don't have any one to play with!


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Thound said:


> Mat, may I call you Mat? She is a ho. You don't want a ho for a wife. Divorce her ASAP


That was awesome.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Uno said:


> It was totally BS.
> 
> I have had enough of this. I just wish my anger will go away fairly quickly.


Yes it is total BS and a game. She is trying to save face and look like the bigger person. She still is trying to paint you as the bad guy. IE. After her life changing event she wanted to work it out with you but you are so mean and heartless that you turned it down. Now she can tell everyone about how cold/mean you were and how it drove her into the other mans arms. See how they spin it?


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

americansteve said:


> I never got the logic of a man NOT wanting to impregnate a woman? In my a view, a baby does more to keep a woman under the man's thump than vice-versa. The only fear I'd have with a hoe like this (or a hoe like my wife to be honest) is the possibility of being cuckolded.[/QUOT
> 
> Huh?


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Maxo said:


> americansteve said:
> 
> 
> > I never got the logic of a man NOT wanting to impregnate a woman? In my a view, a baby does more to keep a woman under the man's thump than vice-versa. The only fear I'd have with a hoe like this (or a hoe like my wife to be honest) is the possibility of being cuckolded.[/QUOT
> ...


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## niceguy28 (May 6, 2016)

Man do you know how many females are out there that would love to be with someone. Dump this chick and don't look back. She is NOT a good woman. Why would you want to be with somebody like that. Kick her a** to the curb and never talk to her again. She doesn't love you she only loves herself. She's also a moron because she thinks that everything will be rosy with the OM when in reality things just seem good with him because she doesn't have to live with him. It's real easy to feel good about somebody when all you do is have fun with them. She's a joke and she's laughing at you. Get off the train man and move on.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Oh. I do not like your "wife". Not one little bit.

Divorce her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

niceguy28 said:


> She's also a moron because she thinks that everything will be rosy with the OM when in reality things just seem good with him because she doesn't have to live with him.


All the more reason to get out while the getting is good. Once things go south with the other man, she'll be wanting a soft spot to land and will be jerking you off to keep that spot reserved. You'll be stuck with this harpy until the next cute guy comes along.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ThePheonix said:


> All the more reason to get out while the getting is good. Once things go south with the other man, she'll be wanting a soft spot to land and will be jerking you off to keep that spot reserved. You'll be stuck with this harpy until the next cute guy comes along.


Exactly correct.

The fog is your friend, OP. Use it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Uno....end it. 

Turn it all over to your lawyer and stop talking to her.


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