# Anal - now genital herpes - how?



## JamaicaWI (May 20, 2012)

My W enjoys our sex and we often try new things. On occasions we have tried anal but never really gone the full nine yards until last month. We tried again and really was enjoying it, I managed to cum inside of her but the condom had split. 

The following week a bump came up on her perineum. When she checked it out at the Dr she was told it is genital herpes.

We have been married for over 12 years and I have been completely faithfull. She tells me that she is faithful too and I have no reason not to believe her. 

But how can this be genital herpes? Neither of us have had this before. 

Yes we have both had a past life with many partners each before we met. But since we met over 14 years now we have both settled down.

Now she is so frustrated about it I am afraid to attempt anal anymore - should we try again?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

uhhhhhh....


99% chance your wife cheated on you


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

the HPV virus can live in the body for many years before resurfacing. Don't jump to any conclusions.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

lamaga said:


> the HPV virus can live in the body for many years before resurfacing. Don't jump to any conclusions.


which is why I give it a 1% chance of her not, it is extremely rare for herpes to surface after 12+ years


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Did you normally wear a condom for BC? Have you been checked?

AFAIK, herpes can lie dormant for extended periods. Maybe you should both sit down with a doctor and get your questions answered. Around here, there are free STI clinics, and the staff there are well versed in all things related. And you can go anonymously, which might be a factor for you.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Where both of you virgins when you got married? If not, then one or both of you can be carriers for many, many years before symptoms show up. Herpes is one of those pesky skin to skin contact STD's that can still be transmitted even with a condom on.

http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-faq


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> which is why I give it a 1% chance of her not, it is extremely rare for herpes to surface after 12+ years


Some people never have symptoms. They can go their entire lives without knowing if they've never had the blood test.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

JamaicaWI said:


> My W enjoys our sex and we often try new things. On occasions we have tried anal but never really gone the full nine yards until last month. We tried again and really was enjoying it, I managed to cum inside of her but the condom had split.
> 
> The following week a bump came up on her perineum. When she checked it out at the Dr she was told it is genital herpes.
> 
> ...


Doctor is wrong (if there is no history of infidelity, which you don't indicate one way or the other) - it's called a Bartholin's cyst. Women in their mid 30s and up are prone to these cysts in the vaginal/anal/perineum region. Particularly if the woman has had multiple births (though not necessarily a cause, women who have not given birth can experience this phenomena as well).

I suffer from them myself (5 kids, turning 33 in June). They are HORRIBLE, painful and humiliating at times. Also get a colon check, bumps like that in that area can be caused by colon cancer (sorry about the C word).


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Some people never have symptoms. They can go their entire lives without knowing if they've never had the blood test.



yes, its common to be asymptomatic


but for the blisters to surface 12+ years later without some form of physical stress is a very rare occurrence


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CantePe said:


> Doctor is wrong (if there is no history of infidelity, which you don't indicate one way or the other) - it's called a Bartholin's cyst. Women in their mid 30s and up are prone to these cysts in the vaginal/anal/perineum region. Particularly if the woman has had multiple births (though not necessarily a cause, women who have not given birth can experience this phenomena as well).
> 
> I suffer from them myself (5 kids, turning 33 in June). They are HORRIBLE, painful and humiliating at times. Also get a colon check, bumps like that in that area can be caused by colon cancer (sorry about the C word).



this seems more logical, I think a 2nd opinion is in order


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Where did you get your medical degree, AR?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

info is easily available on the net from legitimate sources


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> which is why I give it a 1% chance of her not, it is extremely rare for herpes to surface after 12+ years


No it's not rare. I went 8 years symptom free from cold sores then they started cropping back up again - once a month I might add, though I did have cold sores prior to the 8 year "silence".

However, HPV or human papillioma virus can crop up in the form of genital warts and cervical cancer, depending on which strain of virus, years and years later. Most HPV infections in women actually self resolve with absolutely NO symptoms whatsoever! Most women have had HPV without even knowing they did.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> info is easily available on the net from legitimate sources


Have a paid for sub to the medical journals too AR? LOL :smthumbup:


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> uhhhhhh....
> 
> 
> 99% chance your wife cheated on you


Nope. You can go decades without an outbreak. Its very possible to have herpies for years and years and never know it.

OP, did she actually test positive or did the Doc just say what he thinks it looks like? She may even have had previous outbreaks and dismissed them as other things like hemorrhoids.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Another thought - you said the condom broke...is it possible a piece of it was left behind and is causing an infection? 90% of abscesses are raging infections.. could be that too.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> but for the blisters to surface 12+ years later without some form of physical stress is a very rare occurrence


Physical stress... like anal?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Herpes and HPV are different viruses.

The only way to definitively diagnose herpes is to do a swab test directly from the blister in question and culture for the virus itself. This test is rarely if ever done, usually a dr. will order a blood test. Blood tests test for the antibodies, and do not differentiate between the cold sore (#1) and the genital variety (#2). Visual diagnosis is the least reliable.

I would ask for a swab test and defer judgement until you have the results.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> yes, its common to be asymptomatic
> 
> 
> but for the blisters to surface 12+ years later without some form of physical stress is a very rare occurrence


Who's to say neither one of them had any type of very mild symptoms ever in their lives? Unless they both know 100% for sure that neither of them carried the disease, oral or genital wise, there is no way to know. If he has HSV-1 he could of given to her while performing oral sex on her or vice versa.


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## JamaicaWI (May 20, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Nope. You can go decades without an outbreak. Its very possible to have herpies for years and years and never know it.
> 
> OP, did she actually test positive or did the Doc just say what he thinks it looks like? She may even have had previous outbreaks and dismissed them as other things like hemorrhoids.


No, Dr looked at it and diagnosed it. She has not had a blood test or anything like that, but the Dr did say that I should get checked. I haven't got checked yet but I will do soon.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Herpes is a virus, can it be visually diagnosed?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JamaicaWI (May 20, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Herpes and HPV are different viruses.
> 
> The only way to definitively diagnose herpes is to do a swab test directly from the blister in question and culture for the virus itself. This test is rarely if ever done, usually a dr. will order a blood test. Blood tests test for the antibodies, and do not differentiate between the cold sore (#1) and the genital variety (#2). Visual diagnosis is the least reliable.
> 
> I would ask for a swab test and defer judgement until you have the results.


Thank you Hope1964 what you say makes much sense to me. We will get a proper swab test the next time the bump appears (if ever there will be another time). It has gone now. 

The Dr did give her medication tablets to take and cream to put into her vagina


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## JamaicaWI (May 20, 2012)

CantePe said:


> Another thought - you said the condom broke...is it possible a piece of it was left behind and is causing an infection? 90% of abscesses are raging infections.. could be that too.


I think it only split when I pulled out. But this could have a factor


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Well, I wouldn't stress out over it. Have your wife go in for a blood test, that will clear up if it's herpes (either type) or if it's a cyst or something else. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a visual diagnosis of a bump that could be anything.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

There are a billion things that resemble herpies blisters. Get tested and get some peace of mind.


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## JamaicaWI (May 20, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Where both of you virgins when you got married? If not, then one or both of you can be carriers for many, many years before symptoms show up. Herpes is one of those pesky skin to skin contact STD's that can still be transmitted even with a condom on.
> 
> Common Questions for When You're Not Sure If You Have Genital Herpes


No we were not virgins before we got married - far from it we were both very promiscuous, but sinc ewe got together we both put all that away.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> Well, I wouldn't stress out over it. Have your wife go in for a blood test, that will clear up if it's herpes (either type) or if it's a cyst or something else. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a visual diagnosis of a bump that could be anything.


Just an FYI, about 80% of the population will test positive for herpes because they've had a cold sore. The blood test can't tell if it's type 1 or 2.

A blood test is only good to say you DON'T have the antibodies to either form of herpes. It can't tell you that you DO have genital herpes.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Just an FYI, about 80% of the population will test positive for herpes because they've had a cold sore. The blood test can't tell if it's type 1 or 2.
> 
> A blood test is only good to say you DON'T have the antibodies to either form of herpes. It can't tell you that you DO have genital herpes.


I know, a lot of the worlds population tests positive for HSV-1, HSV-2 is less common, but a lot of people have that plus you can get 2 from doing oral if you have 1, honestly I don't think I know very many people who don't have cold sores. Since he said they were both promiscuous, I wouldn't be surprised if they both carried is long before they ever married.


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## Seawolf (Oct 10, 2011)

Let me get this straight. Doctor saw it, says, "oh ya you've got herpes, that'll be it, pay at the door"? What kind of quack is she going to? No further test to confirm? No meds? No nothing? It's 99% that good ole Doc Hackjob is wrong. Get a second opinion.
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