# Can food really be an addiction? Or does he just have no self control?



## RedPanda19 (9 mo ago)

My husband is 32, diagnosed with depression and schizo-affective disorder. He was finally diagnosed and put on the proper medications 2 years ago. They have helped tremendously with his depression and mood, but a major fall out from all the new meds has been enormous weight gain and a seemingly unstoppable appetite. He’s always been a big guy, he’s 6 foot 5 and was a football player all through his school years and college. Two years ago when he had the explosive manic episode that got him diagnosed and a 3 month long hospital stay he was 350 pounds going into the hospital, and 415 when he came out. He’s now sitting at about 470 pounds. He’s huge. I definitely noticed a change in his appetite and the amount of food he was eating in one sitting, and it’s just continually escalated in the last year and a half. 
I have another thread going in mental health talking more about his struggle with his illness, and at the suggestion of members I joined him in his therapy session today. Turns out his therapist HAS been encouraging him to try a diet and exercise plan for months while she’s watched his weight keep climbing. He’s never mentioned this to me once, and I’ve never brought it up because I don‘t want to hurt him, or worse, set off a manic episode. So I’ve just been dealing. I cook healthy dinners and he’ll eat everything I cook, but then he does things like take my car to “put gas in it” and stop at McDonald‘s and eat god knows how much in the parking lot. He comes up with a lot of excuses to leave for a quick errand after dinner. The kids need milk for cereal in the morning, I noticed your tires were low, my mom needs help with (insert chore). Every time he leaves for an errand, I check our bank activity online and he’s stopped somewhere and got food. I feel very aggravated with him that’s he’s being sneaky and trying to hide this from me, but again, it’s a sensitive thing to bring up because I never know if it could cause him to lash out. Same thing happens when he’s at work, I pack him a lunch with reasonable portions, and he eats it, plus fast food sometimes twice in a work day.
His therapist said today that while the initial weight gain and appetite increase was from the meds, he’s been on these medications long enough now that he should have leveled out and returned to normal a long time ago. She feels like he’s addicted to food now and is using it to cope with stress and his mental illness, much like an alcoholic. I guess I kind of understand, but I’ve never struggled with my weight or have had what she called an “unhealthy relationship with food”. I don’t get the allure of over eating. I understand drugs and alcohol, those things change your brain chemistry and make you forget or give you feelings of euphoria and escape. Can food do that too? I’ve seen this man eat so much he was physically sick to his stomach. It was horrifying and frankly disgusting. And since he’s gained over 100 pounds I’m assuming that’s how he eats when no one is watching him.
I’m at my wits end with him! What can I do to control his eating at this point? I’ve thought about taking his cards away from him and only giving him an ‘allowance’ of cash, but that just sounds ridiculous to me. He’s a grown man, and despite his mental illness he functions pretty normal on a daily basis. I don’t really have to ‘parent‘ him. He’s a self sufficient adult with a full time job and other responsibilities to me and our children that he never falls short on. 
He can’t keep going the way he is and continue to gain weight. He’s in a size 46 waist for pants and those are snug on him, and his belly is HUGE! He’s always had a beer belly, now he seriously looks like he’s pregnant with triplets. T-shirts barely cover his stomach, he’s always pulling them down or his gut peaks out of the bottom. It’s embarrassing going out with him sometimes, nobody wants to see his giant belly sticking out of his shirt, or watch him eat enough food for a family of 4 by himself. I love this man with all of my heart. He is doing all he can to manage his mental illness and be a wonderful husband and father. I’m lost on how to help him overcome an addiction to food, It‘s not like you can go off food cold turkey! I don’t understand the lack of self control with this.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Yes it is an addiction.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

It's one of the worst addictions because you can't go cold turkey like you can with alcohol, drugs, porn, cigarettes.

Also you stomach has bacteria in it that if you have the wrong kind will send very strong signals and desires. And again you kind of have to eat. So it can be hard.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Its both.

Being almost 500 pounds is morbidly obese and if he doesn't fix it he will die of it eventually.

The shear amount of food one needs to eat to maintain that weight is enormous.

At that weight just about any doctor would recommend surgery.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Has his doctor said it's the medication making him put on weight? Or is it the amount he eats?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Check into the side effects of the medications he has for his schizo-affective disorder. Some of them can cause weight gain as they mess around with the insulin system in the body. One of my nephews takes these meds and he gains a lot of weight when he's on them. Because of this he has just about stopped taking the meds.

Does he eat a lot of sweets, breads, and other high carbohydrate foods?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Psych meds can definitely cause weight gain, a lot of it. Someone in my family had it and went from being skinny their whole life to fairly fat. It doesn’t help when you have a big frame to begin with.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I believe there are addictions. Without a doubt. Food can be addicting. 
That said, you can control addiction. It's not easy, but is possible. People overcome addictions daily.
Mental illness is a true illness. We don't know as much about the brain as we do about the heart, etc.

However, it's not an excuse. People have commented about weight and desire. Weighing 475 pounds is a serious issue. I think your husband is competent enough to understand he's morbidly obese and why you are concerned. So saying food is addicting, one can still want to overcome it.

I understand struggling with weight. I need to lose 25 pounds. It's not easy. But if someone wants to make changes, they can.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

opioids in cheese? you bet!

i used to say i love cheese & here is why








This Is Your Brain On Cheese


There's a good reason why you have a hard time giving up cheese. The answer, however, might blow your mind.




www.forbes.com


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## RedPanda19 (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> Check into the side effects of the medications he has for his schizo-affective disorder. Some of them can cause weight gain as they mess around with the insulin system in the body. One of my nephews takes these meds and he gains a lot of weight when he's on them. Because of this he has just about stopped taking the meds.
> 
> Does he eat a lot of sweets, breads, and other high carbohydrate foods?


Yes he does, besides what I cook, I only cook healthy and balanced. He eats like crap, when I’m not around to watch him. Taking him off his meds is not an option, he’s suicidal.


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## RedPanda19 (9 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Has his doctor said it's the medication making him put on weight? Or is it the amount he eats?


It’s both, the meds started the weight gain and appetite increase, but he’s taken it to a whole next level with the amount of food he eats in a day.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SarahHogan19 said:


> Yes he does, besides what I cook, I only cook healthy and balanced. He eats like crap, when I’m not around to watch him. Taking him off his meds is not an option, he’s suicidal.


If he eats a lot of high carb foods, his insulin system is probably messed up. That leads to a person being constantly hungry. It might be a good idea to get him checked for insulin resistance, diabetes, etc.


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## RedPanda19 (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> If he eats a lot of high carb foods, his insulin system is probably messed up. That leads to a person being constantly hungry. It might be a good idea to get him checked for insulin resistance, diabetes, etc.


He has been checked, he’s not even pre-diabetic, thankfully considering how heavy he is. He just has high cholesterol.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

The meds do cause weight gain but it wouldn’t be that out of control. It definitely sounds more like an addiction at this point.
Would you say he has an addictive personality? Was he self medicating with alcohol or drugs before his diagnosis? That happens very often with mental illness. If so, he may have just traded one addiction for another. Hiding what he’s eating is the same as hiding the bottle or a gaming addiction.
Nothing is going to change until he recognizes the problem and wants to change it. That’s the first step. Perhaps an intervention with family, friends and his therapist would help him to see how destructive his food addiction is to his health.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Check into the side effects of the medications he has for his schizo-affective disorder. Some of them can cause weight gain as they mess around with the insulin system in the body. One of my nephews takes these meds and he gains a lot of weight when he's on them. Because of this he has just about stopped taking the meds.
> 
> Does he eat a lot of sweets, breads, and other high carbohydrate foods?


Exactly what I was thinking good call.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

blahfridge said:


> Nothing is going to change until he recognizes the problem and wants to change it. That’s the first step. Perhaps an intervention with family, friends and his therapist would help him to see how destructive his food addiction is to his health.


When I was a kid they used to give me meds in the morning that made me fall asleep. Then yell at me and make me stand up all morning because I'd fall asleep. It was one of the most retarded things I've ever experienced. But that's the cult of the pill for you. 

This guy already overate and they gave him medication that greatly exacerbated his appetite. I hate to break it to you but a little tough love isn't going to help get his eating under control if he couldn't even do it before he was medicated.


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## Carolyn E Melton (9 mo ago)

I also assume that some medicines have side effects like weight gain. My mother faced a similar issue. Her weight increased rapidly due to the effect of medicine she used for a disease. Then she stopped the medicine and controlled food to get back to her old weight.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Max.HeadRoom said:


> opioids in cheese? you bet!
> 
> i used to say i love cheese & here is why
> 
> ...


Interesting. Thanks.


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