# Taylor HELP



## Taylor10502 (5 mo ago)

Hi my name is Taylor. (LOCATION REDACTED) I found out a couple of years ago that my husband of 20 yrs had been seeing prostitutes for 14 of those years. A LOT of prostitutes, he estimated between 50 and 100. Anyway, 2 yrs later and it's as fresh to me as it was the night I found out. I cannot seem to get over this.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

that is a lot of prostitutes , can he stop , I question comes to mind they say every time a husband cheats with a ***** he gives his wife a gift , did you get many gifts over the years , 

had he other affairs as well 
how did you find out , 

do you want to stay with him or are you thinking it is over


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Taylor10502 said:


> Hi my name is Taylor and I'm from REDACTED. I found out a couple of years ago that my husband of 20 yrs had been seeing prostitutes for 14 of those years. A LOT of prostitutes, he estimated between 50 and 100. Anyway, 2 yrs later and it's as fresh to me as it was the night I found out. I cannot seem to get over this.


@Taylor10502 Welcome to TAM.
I assume you are now divorced? Please say yes.

If you are not, you will get a TON of people telling you to do the needful and get rid of his sorry @ss


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

I just hope you are getting tested for STDs regularly! 

You need to file for divorce and get rid of this animal of a husband pronto. 2 years is FAR TOO LONG to wait to dump him.

I'm shocked that you are still married to him quite frankly!


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## Taylor10502 (5 mo ago)

To answer you questions, ya I suppose I did get gifts over the years but nothing unusual or more gifts than one would expect from a spouse. Also, I am still married to him and I do still love him although I must admit that it's definitely not the same as before all of this and over time it has become less and less. Minus his infidelity he has been a perfect husband, I suppose that's why I was totally blindsided by this I would never have even thought he was capable of such a thing.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Taylor10502 said:


> To answer you questions, ya I suppose I did get gifts over the years but nothing unusual or more gifts than one would expect from a spouse. Also, I am still married to him and I do still love him although I must admit that it's definitely not the same as before all of this and over time it has become less and less. Minus his infidelity he has been a perfect husband, I suppose that's why I was totally blindsided by this I would never have even thought he was capable of such a thing.


Even the most minor forms of infidelity (if such a thing exists) can cause marriages to disintegrate. And it could happen years later. A betrayed spouse such as yourself, myself, and many others here, are subject to the worst betrayals of trust that a person can have. Your marriage will never be the same.

It could be repaired to become something new if he is incredibly remorseful and helps you heal, but that is a long narrow path that many can not survive even if they want too in the deepest way.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you being unable to "get over this" as you put it. We are not built to "get over" such a thing.

The horrible nature of your husband's infidelity over such a long period of time is insurmountable in my opinion. If my wife did that to me then there wouldn't even be a _thought_ of coming back from it.

I recommend you get rid of this guy fast.

The nature of the betrayal is that he could be away from you tomorrow and do it again.
His missing moral compass would allow it just fine and you would never know.
If you want to live like that the rest of your life then that's on you.
But I couldn't.

Divorce asap!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Taylor10502 said:


> Hi my name is Taylor and I'm from redacted. I found out a couple of years ago that my husband of 20 yrs had been seeing prostitutes for 14 of those years. A LOT of prostitutes, he estimated between 50 and 100. Anyway, 2 yrs later and it's as fresh to me as it was the night I found out. I cannot seem to get over this.


Why should you get over it? It's the most horrible and dangerous betrayal. It shows he has no respect for you, no respect for marriage, should never have gotten married. If you have kids, it shows they are certainly not his top priority. He's been lying to you forever, and I'm surprised you haven't caught a disease or worse. He's endangering his entire family and perpetuating the exploitation of women by using sex workers. Psychologists have always said that at least 80 percent of the voluntary ones were former abuse victims just digging themselves into a bigger trauma hole. And then a whole lot of them today are actual sex slaves being trafficked by the worst people on earth for their own gain. 

I bet your husband doesn't care about that though, since he doesn't even care about you, just what you can do for him.


I'm very sorry you are going through this. No, he won't change. You can't control him. You can only control yourself and what you'll put up with. No one should put up with this. And others will ask how your sex life is. I don't care how it is. No one should put up with this degenerate behavior. If he's like this, I wouldn't want to touch him either, and nor should you.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

What’s yo live about him? He paid $$$ to bang skanks, over 50 times? Gross. Is he remorseful. How did you find out? Does he have stds?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

let this sink in. He didn’t cheat with an old friend or coworker. He paid old legal strangers to meet him for sex. How on earth is he perfect? It sounds like the furthest thing from love. He doesn’t respect you at all.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Taylor10502 said:


> Minus his infidelity he has been a perfect husband


"Minus the food poisoning, it was a great meal."
"Minus all the fatal accidents he caused, he's a great driver."
Please get tested for STDs.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Betrayal on a scale such as you’ve experienced is very rarely overcome. It’s just too much for most to deal with. If you want to stay with him, it will likely take many years to come to terms with this (if that’s even possible). In any event, you’ll never trust him again and you shouldn’t. I wish you the best.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

snowbum said:


> let this sink in. He didn’t cheat with an old friend or coworker. He paid old legal strangers to meet him for sex. How on earth is he perfect? It sounds like the furthest thing from love. He doesn’t respect you at all.


Yeah. What he loves most is his penis. And whatever, but he shouldn't have married and then deceived.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Taylor10502 said:


> _*Also, I am still married to him and I do still love him although I must admit that it's definitely not the same as before all of this and over time it has become less and less. Minus his infidelity he has been a perfect husband, I suppose that's why I was totally blindsided by this I would never have even thought he was capable of such a thing.*_



OP, at one time you were a victim of this despicable POS you married.

Now, you're a *full-fledged volunteer*.

For the love of all that's holy, where is your self-respect?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> _*"Minus the food poisoning, it was a great meal."
> "Minus all the fatal accidents he caused, he's a great driver."*_
> *Please get tested for STDs.*



Right?

*"Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"*

That's what was going through my head the entire time I was typing my response - this grim Lincoln joke.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

First reach out to the mods & have somebody edit your info to delete the geography from your post. Educate yourself about on line safety. 

As to your problem, get STD tested regularly. You cannot trust this man. You may love him but he clearly doesn't love you enough or he would not constantly cheat in a way that endangers your health. It's time to divorce. Get info about how much $$$ he spent over the years. You may be able to get it back in the divorce.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Taylor10502 said:


> Hi my name is Taylor. (LOCATION REDACTED) I found out a couple of years ago that my husband of 20 yrs had been seeing prostitutes for 14 of those years. A LOT of prostitutes, he estimated between 50 and 100. Anyway, 2 yrs later and it's as fresh to me as it was the night I found out. I cannot seem to get over this.


Why *should* you get over this? 

It seems to me that one is too many, let alone a number involving three figures! 

No! Just... *no!* I would recommend divorce and STD tests.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Taylor10502 said:


> Hi my name is Taylor. (LOCATION REDACTED) I found out a couple of years ago that my husband of 20 yrs had been seeing prostitutes for 14 of those years. A LOT of prostitutes, he estimated between 50 and 100. Anyway, 2 yrs later and it's as fresh to me as it was the night I found out. I cannot seem to get over this.


Is it even possible to get over such history? 

Your "husband" is NOT worthy of this beautiful label and role in my view.


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