# Let it RING....Both men AND women!!!!



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Please observe both the post count and replies in ALL other sections of this forum with this one!!!!!! That RIGHT THERE should give you a little guidance in the world you live in today. Acting like "it won't happen, we are in love" is what I call "living in the clouds". 

Little doubt that humans LOVE options. Even better when they get a "free test drive". I am no longer convinced there really is a God, that most of us might have worshiped. But in any case, trust that your back stabbing bff's will certainly bring your indiscretions to light in your absence. Just want to remind a few folks. I realize everyone here is lily white, and it is possible only the victims come here after the fact, but I know otherwise. 

To put it bluntly, I traveled several states away for a family celebration. Stayed in a hotel, no biggy. Down in the lobby area just drinking the local beers and soaking up the amazing surroundings I just don't know, a woman approaches. Seems innocent enough, right until she keeps buying me beer until I am drunk enough to visit her hotel room, when I finally realize she is married, and I am part of this big disaster...... YOU BET I take responsibility for that, but I know that is not her first time, or her last. 

I am NOT innocent in that mess, but I was NOT the married one there! THAT is how it happens! She/he needs to go on a "quick trip"......yup.... I'd love to say the word "trust", but that is lost today. Honestly, I think it has been lost for decades, but now technology has been catching them in the act. I LOVE it!!!!! F.....U...... cheating losers!!!


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I used to hit the clubs a lot when I was in my early 20's. The amount of older married women that hit on me was staggering. Usually they would tell me they were married and sh*t on their husbands. I was young so I believed all of it. I used to think that I was better than their husbands, or those guys didn't deserve her....just crap. I work at a beach resort now and the stuff I've seen here is even worse. In my opinion, MOST people are cheating, married or otherwise.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Enigma32 said:


> I used to hit the clubs a lot when I was in my early 20's. The amount of older married women that hit on me was staggering. Usually they would tell me they were married and **** on their husbands. I was young so I believed all of it. I used to think that I was better than their husbands, or those guys didn't deserve her....just crap. I work at a beach resort now and the stuff I've seen here is even worse. In my opinion, MOST people are cheating, married or otherwise.


It' just a reality people need to face, but won't! This whole site hovers around marriage, but I am 100% convinced that term was lost 20yrs ago. As getting older now, I realize my only play is NO play! Everyone is programmed to cheat now! No way I will waste a dime on anyone. I just hope someone takes notice. I think it happens more with the more attractive groups. After all "if you have options, why not explore them??" 

Just hope a few take notice before the thread sinks in the abyss. You are either the screw-er or the screw-ee.......I tend to realize the culprit really doesn't care what they do.

Actually, my former *** of 12yrs had an 'epiphany' after realizing her *** ways were known to me. I asked her to sit on the closest fire hydrant she could find to quench her thirst for ****. I will never look at that ho the same. One day I will tell my boys about HER, but only when they can mentally handle it. Right now, I am focused on being on the deadbeat dad.

But before people get all cocked up in their heads, I am an in shape dude former college athlete, and generally referred to as an 8.5-9.0. LMAO. That is mostly because I am not 6'5 and dark hair. Women will act like that is not a thing, but they ARE lying. So this has nothing to do with attraction, and more to do with "how YOU doin?"


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

you have made some very good points , put me thinking because I am over 30 years in an easy relationship , but we work together and have no outside contact with others so we are in a way lost on a island , ever though we are in a country with 65 million people but where we live we can go a week and never see someone , 

before my wife got into model photo but it was I that acted as her manager so there was no sms or other contact I even used to respond for her to most emails, and help sort out the real people that wanted to do a photo shoot and the ones that used photo to get near women , so we were open to each other in everything that was going on and all photo shoot were done at home where i was often in the next room and often was the first person to meet the photographer.

I think a lot comes down to how we are built , if or how much ho is built into us there are people that look boy about town and even though we are in a work world when we meet them they have a look about them like a stamp on their forehead , same for the ho , but women come in to ho types you get the one that looks like she wants to trap a fly but you all so get the one that looks like "I am a saint " the one that we think would not ever do a thing wrong , because women have been thought to hide their sexy side , 

truth is often we just see the outward image of people and not their real side , we see this most often outed when a privet person enters the public world and soon after all their dirty secretes come out , you get it a lot in politics the moment they become public known people and the flood gates open with the life they thought was safe bite them on the ass


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Keep in mind that the population of posters on TAM are self-selected. People who are not having marital problems, to include infidelity seldom search for a site like TAM and so seldom end up posting here.

To say that this forum informs on the state of marriage in the general population is like going into the ICU of a hospital then extrapolating the number of patients imply that the entire population of the city is on life support and dying.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Keep in mind that the population of posters on TAM are self-selected. People who are not having marital problems, to include infidelity seldom search for a site like TAM and so seldom end up posting here.
> 
> To say that this forum informs on the state of marriage in the general population is like going into the ICU of a hospital that extrapolating the number of patients to imply that this means that the entire population of the city is on life support and dying.


I agree with @EleGirl. And amazing though it might seem, almost everyone who signs up for a Migraine forum suffers from blinding headaches! I mean, who would have thought that was possible?


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

bobsmith said:


> It' just a reality people need to face, but won't! This whole site hovers around marriage, but I am 100% convinced that term was lost 20yrs ago. As getting older now, I realize my only play is NO play! Everyone is programmed to cheat now! No way I will waste a dime on anyone. I just hope someone takes notice. I think it happens more with the more attractive groups. After all "if you have options, why not explore them??"
> 
> Just hope a few take notice before the thread sinks in the abyss. You are either the screw-er or the screw-ee.......I tend to realize the culprit really doesn't care what they do.
> 
> ...


I disagree that "everyone" is programed to cheat.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has free volition to do what they want. Some choose to cheat and some do not.

So when someone chooses to cheat you're now going to blame God and even further it has brought you to the point that you're convinced that there is no God?

If you're going to put your faith and trust in people (and their actions) in order for you to believe in God then you're CLUELESS on who God is.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's said that about 50% of married people cheat at some point in their lives.
The good thing about that is that it leaves many billions who don't cheat.

If you let a strange woman get you drunk and go to her hotel room what do you expect?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Cheaters are more likely to be in certain places and situations. Drinking in hotel lobbies is one of them.

I can't go to a bar then complain I met a drunk.

Just saying.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Check your wallet.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


bobsmith said:



Little doubt that humans LOVE options.

Click to expand...

*I've always said that lots of people are only as honest as their options. 

*



Acting like "it won't happen, we are in love" is what I call "living in the clouds".

Click to expand...

*Yeah, I cringe for them when I read that being said by a poster. I honestly don't think anyone should give their spouse blind trust - that can get the rug pulled right out from underneath you.

It's a shame to be so jaded but after having lived with a serial cheater many years ago and having read thousands of these stories over the last 25+ years and knowing many in real life who've also dealt with it, I think the percentage of cheaters is higher than the percentage of non-cheaters.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I've always said that lots of people are only as honest as their options.
> 
> 
> Yeah, I cringe for them when I read that being said by a poster. I honestly don't think anyone should give their spouse blind trust - that can get the rug pulled right out from underneath you.
> ...


Trust but verify... that's the rule I got by now.

Humans are complex emotional creatures. Anyone can flip on a dime with the right circumstance.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I've always said that lots of people are only as honest as their options.
> 
> 
> Yeah, I cringe for them when I read that being said by a poster. I honestly don't think anyone should give their spouse blind trust - that can get the rug pulled right out from underneath you.
> ...


Reality is most people treat their SO like their used car. They NEVER get rid of the old one before shopping for a replacement. That's what cheating is for! 

But in general, no my views are NOT formed solely from this forum, it is also through evaluations of people I know. I can't even think of anyone that is under 50 that I know that has not divorced. Older couples lived in a different time WITHOUT all the Inet options!


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

@bobsmith

I am married, but some women were willing to socialize with me [regardless]. I have had ample opportunity to tap these women but I did NOT cheat. I refused to put myself in tempting situations with these women.

I have my share of honest mistakes and minor slip-ups but I never cheated. I am devoted to my wife.

Of-course, I am not sure about how many people are out there who match my integrity (or better).


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

You are lucky that you weren't robbed..... Women often go into these bars to shower a guy with praise and get him super drunk just to rob him later on. 

Or they use it as an opportunity to get into a guys house to scope out the contents to report back to her bf. If you have good stuff, they break into your home while you are away.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

well where I live people seem to live simple lifes most keep to them selvies and we get a high number of heavy drinkers 

what goes on behind closed doors I don't know and I frankly don't care .
I have had at one time many women drive into my place and ask for the young guy that lives 2 doors down , he at one time had a different woman calling to him every night like as if he was a stock bull but I don't envie his life style 

I had the odd woman that seemed to be pushing themselfs on me some even with my wife sitting right beside me 
what they saw in me I have no idea but from my point these women were after something and if I WAS DIFFERENT THEY were not my style 

I have been to other countries where women are on a pair with men and I AM ALL FOR THAT 
but equale is not buying drink for a man all night and any man that lets an other person buy them more than one drink is a cheap GIT and in my experance if your a cheap git in one way your a cheap git in every way and would be a mean selfish lover 

I belive in womens rights so I would ask my self if i was in a hotel and some one man or woman bought me a drink and they offered to by a second before LETTING ME BUY THE SECOND ROUND I WOULD BE WANTING to know what was behind this


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