# Question about boundaries



## TheGoodWifey (Apr 14, 2014)

My husband of 3 years is a very social guy. When we met, he introduced me to many many of his friends, many of whom are women. Most are unattractive, and fat, and he was totally not interested in anything but friendship with them. He had one relationship with a gal who worked for him, that I was uncomfortable with. I found emails long after we were married that suggested he wanted her (before he met me), but she refused him. The day I met her, she was in tears, but couldn't explain why. She was very pretty and wore sexy clothes. I think after she met me, she realized she made a mistake. Although he still speaks to her, I have set him straight on their relationship. However, because he failed to tell me about his feeling toward her initially, and allowed her to continue to work for him for a year after we were married, I lost a little of my trust in him. Over the next year, I made it clear I was unhappy that he let her stay, and unfortunately for her, she got sick and needed to leave. They are still in touch from time to time, but it is not an issue.

From time to time, I do see emails that he has written to clients that seem a bit flirty. He gets too close to his clients as far as I am concerned. He is a divorce attorney, and the women rely on him and pour their hearts out. 

I have told him he needs to set better boundaries. That he cannot be "friends" with these people. Cannot "friend" them on Facebook. Cannot text them about stuff, and cannot talk to them about us. One gal recently sent him a picture of herself in her workout clothes, and 'friended' him on Facebook. They are desperate women, and have financial issues, and emotional stress.

He won't admit to discussing personal things, but I know he has.

Our relationship is superb. VERY affectionate, and very sexually active, even though he is almost 300 lbs, and 62.

I know he loves me, and I love and adore him. Is it wrong of me to want to check his emails? 

I feel suspicious at times,and I hate not trusting him. I don't think he would go as far as to have sex, but who knows? Even if it is just flirting, am I wrong to be jealous of that? He is friends with his x-wife of 20 years. I know he erases his emails to and from her. I doubt there is anything there, but why the covert action?

Friends say to forget about it, and let it go. They say the best thing to do is NOT to know. What do you suggest?

BTW, I have several emails, and he knows the passwords to ALL my accounts. My iPads are easily accessible to all the email accounts. I have nothing to hide, and he is always welcome to check.


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