# how does it come to that?



## zaliblue (Apr 26, 2011)

Reading through all of these posts about sexless marriages really has me scared....some people have posted that they only have sex once or twice a year....WHAT?!?! How does it come to that? How do you just stop having sex? It really worries me that this will happen to hubby and I....and that freakin goes through me....not because im just a horny person and want to have sex a lot....but because i NEED that closeness with him....and i cant imagine how a person can be in a healthy, loving relationship without the physical aspect....How? Really? How do marriages last without sex? Aren't you miserable? grrr....im really freaking out because i really dont want this to happen to hubby and me....i feel like crying lol


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

when you find out you let me know.

selfishness, resentment, pride, fear of giving in, inhibitions, religious upbringings, not having needs met, obesity, abuse, substance abuse, porn, lack of communication....did i miss any


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Relationships not nurtured become boring, and sex becomes routine. 

To the excellent!! list above, add:
children, exhaustion from work, stress from taking care of aging parents, lack of sleep, financial worries, lower interest in sex with age (frequently happens)

Relax though - a very good friend of mine who is easily orgasmic rarely has sex with her husband, and they are totally in love after 20 yrs of marriage (or so it appears when I see them together, and what she tells me)


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## zaliblue (Apr 26, 2011)

i mean i know there are a lot of reasons....but ummm...still only once a year? i just think i couldn't be in a marriage like that....i mean if there was a medical reason God forbid...i could stay with him.....but other than that....idk...sex to me is really important....i NEED that connection with my hubby...


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## luckyman (Apr 14, 2011)

My ex wife used sex as a punishment/reward until I finally had enough. I think a lot had to do with the fact that she wasn't very sexual. I don't know and don't care. Life is too short to waste on broken, dysfunctional relationships with people who don't want to be happy.


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

My guess is it is simply a failure to divorce for what ever reason, religious, kids, etc. You are correct it is spooky, lack of sex drags down your quality of life dramaticly espeically when its near impossible to go out and find a FWB's. Divorce can be expensive and it will bankrupt a man if there are kids, so even if he does divorce with kids his likely hood of getting laid again are slim because he will be broke and what woman wants a broke guy with baby momma drama. Most guys try to work under the table and sometimes manage to find a GF but that woman has to realize that she will be lucky if he wants to marry again or especially have more kids he cant pay for and most women want kids so he would have to find a woman that already had kids, see how complicated it gets. I know some men if they are old enough and their labido has subsided will just stay single and work under the table and live in a studio apartment, and work to get their CS payments down to 50$ a month so they are not thousands in arrears after the kids turn 18 and they can finally start to build savings and get a real job.

I think alot of these cases are rarely age or medically related it is simply a failure to divorce a charachter deficient spouse who refuses to deal with the issue.

As lucky man said, life is too short. Family law is more and more against men and I have come to the conclusion that it has actually gotten to the point where leaving the nation to a nation that is not friendly wiht the US CSE divison (ie germany) is not that far fetched.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

How? Put your spouse last in a long list to care about. After that it's easy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zaliblue (Apr 26, 2011)

rppearso said:


> My guess is it is simply a failure to divorce for what ever reason, religious, kids, etc. You are correct it is spooky, lack of sex drags down your quality of life dramaticly espeically when its near impossible to go out and find a FWB's. Divorce can be expensive and it will bankrupt a man if there are kids, so even if he does divorce with kids his likely hood of getting laid again are slim because he will be broke and what woman wants a broke guy with baby momma drama. Most guys try to work under the table and sometimes manage to find a GF but that woman has to realize that she will be lucky if he wants to marry again or especially have more kids he cant pay for and most women want kids so he would have to find a woman that already had kids, see how complicated it gets. I know some men if they are old enough and their labido has subsided will just stay single and work under the table and live in a studio apartment, and work to get their CS payments down to 50$ a month so they are not thousands in arrears after the kids turn 18 and they can finally start to build savings and get a real job.
> 
> I think alot of these cases are rarely age or medically related it is simply a failure to divorce a charachter deficient spouse who refuses to deal with the issue.
> 
> As lucky man said, life is too short. Family law is more and more against men and I have come to the conclusion that it has actually gotten to the point where leaving the nation to a nation that is not friendly wiht the US CSE divison (ie germany) is not that far fetched.



it's not only men though that are suffering from lack of sex....i've seen some women on here that say their man wants nothing to do with them sexually.....and u know....it's hard for a woman with children to find a man too after divorse....i mean...most men find out a woman has children and they dont give her a second look....it goes both ways...not that either is right because it sucks....i guess what im saying is that is sucks for everyone....not just men....


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

zaliblue said:


> it's not only men though that are suffering from lack of sex....i've seen some women on here that say their man wants nothing to do with them sexually.....and u know....it's hard for a woman with children to find a man too after divorse....i mean...most men find out a woman has children and they dont give her a second look....it goes both ways...not that either is right because it sucks....i guess what im saying is that is sucks for everyone....not just men....


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Not having needs met, being pushed to the side, low man on totem pole. Being taken for granted, him not wanting to spend time with you. After a while you disconnect emotionally.

This is what happened with H and I. Too bad real sad, because we were so good together.


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