# whos the bigger A-hole, wife or me?



## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Well here we are, nother christmas and we are either fighting ,or not talking. Wifes moron, 22yo son, decided to be a drama queen this week, and check into a nut house cause hes "depressed", total cry for attention, kids a spoiled brat and has everything going for him(execpt an ounce of maturity) he lives an hour away and calls his mom, my wife, to bring him some clothes, why didnt this idiot bring clothes with him????? so my enableing wife switches her day off, to run down there, to baby him. oh brother! so now I have to go to my parents alone on christmas eve, all cause this kid has to be a self absorbed, pansy ass, 5 days before christmas! oh but guess what, hes getting out today, just in time to collect all his christmas gifts on saturday, miraculous recovery huh?

well we got in a fight about it all, and she starts saying a buncha crap about how its all my fault, for "making" her move so far away from her kids, when they were growing up,(although she didnt have custody of them when we met 11 years ago, whole other story) and how her kids never liked me, and that I always ruin christmas, all of which are total lies!!!! 

So i come back with the brutal truth, and tell her that it was her "dream" to buy a house in the 1st place, and the only reason we moved so far away, was because we couldnt afford a house in the city, where her kids lived, and that it was her own damn decision, not to go to court, to try to regain custody, from her ex husband, and that those kids would never have even had a real christmas ever, without me, since their fathers idea of a christmas gift, is stuffing a benjiman in an evelope. he doesnt even put up a tree, I dont think.

so whos the bigger a-hole? Her, for blaming me for her failures as a parent, and letting her spoiled, self centerd son, ruin christmas? or me, for actually haveing the nerve to tell it like it is as hurtful as the facts may be?


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

I think coming to an anonymous forum to get other people to decide who is right, kinda gives you the +1 on the a-hole scale. No offense.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ Hey... that's harsh

I came to this forum for the same freakin' reason - to vent and find answers.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

franklinfx said:


> so whos the bigger a-hole? Her, for blaming me for her failures as a parent, and letting her spoiled, self centerd son, ruin christmas? or me, for actually haveing the nerve to tell it like it is as hurtful as the facts may be?


Simple answer really, both of yas, just like me and the missus


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Simple answer really, both of yas, just like me and the missus


I am sorry you are right, that was kinda harsh.
I think the title of the thread really rubbed me the wrong way.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I think coming to an anonymous forum to get other people to decide who is right, kinda gives you the +1 on the a-hole scale. No offense.


none taken, but Im not asking whos right, I already know I am. Im asking if people think making up lies about someone is worse than throwing the hurtful truth in their face.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Franklin,
I don't think either one of you two are a-holes. I think you are both hurting and expressing your frustrations to either by pointing fingers. I think she is feeling guilty about her lack of parenting those children when they were younger and now is trying to make up for it albeit not in the best way.
I think you are hurting because your wife is not appreciating the things you have done for her and the kids with the house and Christmas. 
BOTH of you have valid reasons for your feelings. Is there any way you two can have a meeting of the minds and try to discuss this?


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I am sorry you are right, that was kinda harsh.
> I think the title of the thread really rubbed me the wrong way.


Theres alotta threads here, gotta get your attention somehow


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Truthfully, I kinda think you are. You're bashing on her kid, when he might really have a problem. You're bashing on her for being there for her kid. And then you come in here, looking for people to tell you that you're right.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

If you already know that YOU are right, why bother asking?
I think that truth is a matter of perception.
You don't seem to love her son, you probably never did. Your wife has unconditional love for him. She bore him out of her uterus. Of course she will drop everything to be there for him.
Perhaps the reason why he is depressed is because he has to compete for him Mom's attention with you? Maybe he is genuinely depressed.

Why must your version of the truth be brutal?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Because women can really drive men insane.

Sometimes one just needs to vent and hear "Yeah mate, I hear ya"


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Is there any way you two can have a meeting of the minds and try to discuss this?


 IDK weve beatin this bush a million Xs, its just got a holiday theme this time. It usually blows over when the tempers fizzle.

I just wish for once, she could make an argument based on facts instead of fabricating lies to try to get to me.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hell I'm really dazed today... I didn't read this...



> I think that truth is a matter of perception.


That's a good point.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> If you already know that YOU are right, why bother asking?


 once again,i didnt ask if I was right or not.


> I think that truth is a matter of perception.


 wrong, opinion is based on perception, truth is based on facts


> You don't seem to love her son, you probably never did.


 oh Im sorry, I didnt know we knew eachother Ive done more for that kid than his biological parents ever did, combined, heck, they wouldnt even know how to use a fork or make their bed if wasnt for me. I just dont believe you wipe a kids azz till theyre 30, they gotta grow up at some point, ya know.


> Your wife has unconditional love for him. She bore him out of her uterus. Of course she will drop everything to be there for him.


 that is not love IMO, that is enableing and babying, he didnt get in a car wreck, or fall out of a tree, he decided to throw a pity party for himself, and forgot to pack an overnight bag, so he could see how fast mommy would run down to dress his 22yo butt.


> Perhaps the reason why he is depressed is because he has to compete for him Mom's attention with you? Maybe he is genuinely depressed.


 oh boo hoo, cry me a river! hes twenty freakin two! I was outta the military and living on my own at that age. We all get depressed somtimes, I had anxiety attacks too, when I was that age, part of growing up and being an adult, is dealing w/ problems on your own. 

None the less, it was her decision to let the ex have custody of them all those years, I was the one who wanted them to come live w/ us, so excuse me if im not impressed by the "unconditional uterus" BS. Thanks anyway


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Because women can really drive men insane.
> 
> Sometimes one just needs to vent and hear "Yeah mate, I hear ya"


Howdy Mate, 
It goes both ways. Men can drive women just as insane.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Franklin,
You sound really angry and that's understandable. Yes, he is 22 and I must be the rare mother who doesn't believe in unconditional love and the he came from my uterus as some excuse to continue unhealthy behavior. I have a soon to be 18 year old who sounds like he is more mature than the 22 year old but that's the difference in upbringing.
Having said that, I really do think she is feeling enormous guilt over her parenting choices. Not even fighting for your children just goes against biology for us women. I think with the holidays and her being away from him, she is feeling it even more. 
Just my thoughts.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Brennan said:


> Howdy Mate,
> It goes both ways. Men can drive women just as insane.


Of course, but it just feels better to say it one-sided


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Of course, but it just feels better to say it one-sided


Ha ha. Love that Aussie humor. Melbourne?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh Sydney, not exactly Aussie though 
But let's not hijack this thread


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## kingsqueen (Nov 25, 2010)

franklin, just some thoughts I had reading your posts ...

You came in asking a question, but you absolutely already feel that you have the answer. You don't want to hear another side, so ... are you simply looking for validation, and you don't want to hear both sides? Weird that you presented your post as a question then.

Also, you sound SUPER angry. Even if someone says that you are the a-hole here, and here is why, it doesn't sound at all like you are going to hear any of it. Is it possible that your fights with your wife play out this way as well? If you've already made up your mind about who's "right" before the conversation starts, it's not going anywhere. Is it possible that you don't really hear what she is saying and consider it, but just want to hammer your point home because you don't think that _she_ is hearing you?

It sounds like this comes down to a communication problem for both of you.

For the record, I think neither of you are a-holes. It sounds like you are hurt/angry that she doesn't acknowledge all that you have done for her and her children and in fact, has the audascity to _blame_ you for things that have gone wrong, and that she is struggling with guilt about abandoning her children in their younger years.

As an aside, depression peaks around the holidays, so I don't find it unusual that he committed himself just before Christmas. Given that he clearly has had issues with his parents not being there for him growing up, I don't think that it's inconceivable to think that he genuinely has depression issues that shouldn't be minimized.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Franklin,
> You sound really angry and that's understandable. Yes, he is 22 and I must be the rare mother who doesn't believe in unconditional love and the he came from my uterus as some excuse to continue unhealthy behavior.


 Hallauya! someone with a sense of reality.:smthumbup:


> I really do think she is feeling enormous guilt over her parenting choices. Not even fighting for your children just goes against biology for us women.


 Dont I know it, its always bothered me too, this kid and her, are cut from the same cloth, they are both completely self absorbed, and inconsiderate of others, just wish I got to know her better before I said I do 10 years ago



> I think with the holidays and her being away from him, she is feeling it even more.


 nah, we all spend every christmas together and he'll be up at our house friday and saturday, only diffence is she let him stir up a sht storm this week, so now everyone else will be on edge, all so he could indulge in some overdramatics. who needs this crap?  At one time she was worth it to me...not anymore.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

franklinfx said:


> Hallauya! someone with a sense of reality.:smthumbup: Dont I know it, its always bothered me too, this kid and her, are cut from the same cloth, they are both completely self absorbed, and inconsiderate of others, just wish I got to know her better before I said I do 10 years ago
> 
> nah, we all spend every christmas together and he'll be up at our house friday and saturday, only diffence is she let him stir up a sht storm this week, so now everyone else will be on edge, all so he could indulge in some overdramatics. who needs this crap?  At one time she was worth it to me...not anymore.


I know I am weird by saying I don't have unconditional love for my children. Love, YES, unconditional, NO. If my son were to say rape me or murder my husband/his father who has been his rock in his life, love would go out the window. Would I still protect him? Yes but finding love at that point would be really difficult. Good thing he is an awesome boy and I love him dearly, just throwing out examples.
So you have been married for 10 years and in this man's life since he was 12? Has he always been this way? Is it possible that he is BPD or really does suffer from depression?
I know you are angry, so right now you probably can't answer those questions honestly. Maybe, just maybe, he is having some emotional issues in his life. I know you mentioned how you were at his age but not all people mature or get to that point at the same time. My soon to be 18 year old acts more mature than a 30 year old. My 13 year old son acts like he is 8. Same upbringing, different person.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> HA!! sorry...but thats the funniest thing i have read in a long time.
> 
> all of yall are drama [two snaps in a cricle], each and everyone of you thrive on it. it comes around like clock work right??
> 
> ...


Um, what? Was that supposed to be a rational or thoughtful response to a legitimate question? Jesus.


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

"Who's the bigger a-hole?"

answer- you win....no contest....

her son has depression and you cannot be inconvenienced by it?

you have got to be kidding me..

btw, how old ARE you? because you seem to be completely lacking in something called c-o-m-p-a-s-s-i-o-n...ever hear of it?


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

laelsmom said:


> "Who's the bigger a-hole?"
> 
> answer- you win....no contest....


 yeah but being from LA, how would you know if someone wasnt an a-hole



> her son has depression and you cannot be inconvenienced by it?
> 
> you have got to be kidding me..


 thank dr phil, for your expert diagnonsis, from across the counrty, via the internet :smthumbup:


BTW I dont feel inconvenienced at all. Id just as soon find other company for christmas, just dont like being told Im the reason her sons a drama queen. People need to own up for their own mistakes.


> btw, how old ARE you? because you seem to be completely lacking in something called c-o-m-p-a-s-s-i-o-n...ever hear of it?


 I didnt know "c-o-m-a-s-s-i-o-n" was determined by age:scratchhead:


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

atruckersgirl said:


> You're bashing on her kid, when he might really have a problem.


 If he really has a problem, why is he miraculously feeling better, and checking out in time to party for the holidays??? Gimme a break! I aint buying this BS at all! if he truly has a problem, he shoulda packed himself some clothes, and stayed in the hospital longer than a few days. I know this kid, he thrives on attention cause his mommy, daddy, and grandparents kissed his butt all his life, and now that hes not a kid anymore, he cant stand that hes not the center of everyones attention anymore. Beside real (clinical)depression is a chemical imbalance of your serotonin levels, it aint nothin a buncha smoochy babying, is gonna remedy. he needs to be treated by medical professionals and eventually learn to deal with it on his own, I know cause I went through it myself once.



> You're bashing on her for being there for her kid.


 did you even read my OP? I said she gave up custody of him before I even met her, does that sound like "being there for him"??? Its just her self-serving way of absolving herself, of her own guilt.


> And then you come in here, looking for people to tell you that you're right.


 again, I asked if making up lies about me, or telling the truth(facts) about her, makes someone a bigger a-hole. Not whether Im "right".


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

I dont need to be 'Dr. Phil'... you said he was being treated in the hospital for depression....
for most people its the natural reaction to feel and have EMPATHY and COMPASSION when someone is in the hospital..your anger at the fact of when he was released from the hospital? did you ever consider insurance probably has the upper hand in when and how long patients are treated? 
and the timing of it? it isnt suspicious in the least that he was hospitalized right before CHristmas....if you educated yourself on it a little, you would know holidays esp in December, Christmas, and new years are a very vulnerable time for people getting depression. its a statistical fact
depression can be pretty serious, you sound very self-centered in how you view things, all about you and your celebration. If someone gets sick, you view it as a pain in the a** because it ruins YOUR plans...


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Pandakiss said:


> its ok to laugh at them when they get hurt, because theyre stupid, but it not really funny becaues theyre stupid.
> 
> same applys here...


I feel the same about brain-dead pot smoking internet trolls, which why I laugh at you:rofl:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Franklin,
I am sorry that you are going through what you are going through. I have no idea what Pandakiss's deal is but it is totally uncalled for. This isn't funny, only "funny" to a sociopath but I digress.
I go back to, is there any way you can talk to her about it or are you two so far gone that it is over?


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## kingsqueen (Nov 25, 2010)

franklinfx said:


> again, I asked if making up lies about me, or telling the truth(facts) about her, makes someone a bigger a-hole. Not whether Im "right".


In all honesty, the way that you go about "telling the truth(facts) about someone" makes a huge difference in whether or not you will be perceived as an a-hole.

If I went on listing every mistake that my partner had ever made in his life (all "facts"), just because I was pissed off at him, yeah ... I'd be acting like an a-hole. Lord knows that we have all made mistakes.

Even if you were completely right about everything, and her son is simply a drama-queen and it is her fault for abandoning him and then later babying him ... if you're basically telling someone that they are a sh!tty parent, and you're delivering that message in a very condescending, harsh way, the person is going to get defensive and hurt and retaliate.

But since we can't know the manner in which you laid out your "facts", it's pretty hard for people on an Internet forum to determine whether or not you are an a-hole. I think you know it for yourself.

Obviously, making up lies about someone is pretty much sh!tty behaviour, but again, we don't have all the facts. Just your side of the story.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

laelsmom said:


> I dont need to be 'Dr. Phil'... you said he was being treated in the hospital for depression....


 oh so everyone who checks themselves into a hospital, is clinically depressed???? You dont even know what that means do you ...Im guessing not, so dont try be a know it all, and diagnose someone you never met.


> for most people its the natural reaction to feel and have EMPATHY and COMPASSION when someone is in the hospital..


 because you are probably a knee jerk liberal who reacts, based on emotion, without knowing the facts of a situation, did you ever stop to think people just want attention sometimes?


> your anger at the fact of when he was released from the hospital? did you ever consider insurance probably has the upper hand in when and how long patients are treated?


 uh, no, he checked in voluntarily and he left voluntarily.. probably cause he got bored and already got the reaction he wanted from everyone(cept me)


> and the timing of it? it isnt suspicious in the least that he was hospitalized right before CHristmas....if you educated yourself on it a little, you would know holidays esp in December, Christmas, and new years are a very vulnerable time for people getting depression. its a statistical fact


 Oh yeah must be so much pressure on the young man, he lives the easy life down there in NYC, what does he have to be stressed about? he doesnt pay rent, he doesnt know what a phone, energy, or cable bill looks like, hes a good looking kid, who could have any girl he wants, and hes smart too, what do the holiday have to do with it anyway? his gift list probably set him back a whole 75$!!! wow the holiday pressure of partying and buying 6 gifts must be unbearable for him :rofl: come on! he just doesnt wanna grow up, plain and simple!


> depression can be pretty serious, you sound very self-centered in how you view things, all about you and your celebration. If someone gets sick, you view it as a pain in the a** because it ruins YOUR plans...


 Who got sick????

*I mean besides me, from all this sanctimonous BS (keep it coming)


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I think coming to an anonymous forum to get other people to decide who is right, kinda gives you the +1 on the a-hole scale. No offense.


LOL. Can't imagine why you're lonely.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Kobo.
Really???


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## seagrovelady (Dec 23, 2010)

You need marriage counseling. Your wife might be reacting to her son out of guilt and you are feeling rejected. Christmas is a time of reflection, a time for forgiveness and love. Try to think about it that way and remember all the reasons you fell in love with your wife to begin with, and quit playing the blame game. If you both keep up the finger pointing, your marriage is headed for the garbage heap and the son will still be seeking her attention and getting it. Put it in perspective and be the adult here, if you want to make your marriage work. Remember, never make a parent choose or you will loose.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

seagrovelady said:


> You need marriage counseling. Your wife might be reacting to her son out of guilt and you are feeling rejected. Christmas is a time of reflection, a time for forgiveness and love. Try to think about it that way and remember all the reasons you fell in love with your wife to begin with, and quit playing the blame game. If you both keep up the finger pointing, your marriage is headed for the garbage heap and the son will still be seeking her attention and getting it. Put it in perspective and be the adult here, if you want to make your marriage work. Remember, never make a parent choose or you will loose.


Very thoughful post thank you. I can assure you however, I will not dry up and die, if my wife chooses her kids over me, nor do I feel rejected by her, in fact Ive been dreaming of a life without her for a while now, our house has been on the market for 6 months now, and Im not exactly sure shell be accompanying me to my next residence, I just feel guilty about walking out on her, but if she wants to leave for whatever reason, I say bombs away honey, and dont forget your baggage! I know I sound cold, but Its been 11 long years, and Ive done my best, my conscience is clear.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

as i was reading this i assumed you was just frustrated and needed to vent...

but it seemed when people were giving you thier harsh perspective i started to feel bad...

but then someone gives you a littled advice on the lighter side you go on the offense...

well, i have come to my conclusion...
the son is a big baby... but you know what?.. sometimes we all are....

have you even thought about maybe she is trying to make up for lost time in her way....

as for you... you are a grown man... you knew how this was going to playout....

and trust me game recognize game... so with that from one giant A-hole...

you are it hands down....

hey dont get mad you asked the question:scratchhead:


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

Brennan said:


> Kobo.
> Really???


I know, right?

I probably had it coming, but jesus. Rude much?


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

franklinx

seeing its the holiday season, I'll leave off with a tribute to you from Dr. Seuss--

your a mean one, Mr. Grinch...

your hearts an empty hole, I wouldnt touch you with a 39.5 foot pole

youve got all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch..

** seriously though, you dont like him, bc he takes attention away from you...(and you thought *he* was the baby....)


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I thought this was a serious post. On that note, I respectfully bow out.


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

Franklinx

you dont think depression is a real sickness??

when I was 15 yrs old, this guy from my high school assaulted me...I had been riding my bike this one morning, he was walking down the other street and as I rode my bike up, he said "hey..how ya doing?" he had asked me out in the past but i said no bc he had alot of drug problems..but i said hi to him, he was standing there, and as we talked for a minute, he put his hand on my bike's handlebar. After a couple minutes of talking I said "well I have to get going now, " but he wouldnt let go of my handlebar, he asked me "do you know what cerebral hemorraghing is? I could land you in the hospital with that...."
and then all of a sudden, i felt his fist crash into my right temple, knocking me off my bike. It was such a hard blow I almost didnt feel the pain of it, it came later. His younger brother Joey, happened to wander outside their house a few houses up the street, and saw what was going on. Joey was only 11 at the time, and alot smaller than his brother, but he started to run toward him yelling "stop!!" but his older brother, the one assaulting me, wouldnt listen, and he came at me again, pulling me up by my jacket and punching me again. He had probably hit me twice more, when a car pulled up. It was his grandma, telling him she was calling the police if he didnt stop. The younger brother Joey, might have saved my life..when he couldnt stop his brother from hurting me, he ran to get his grandma, and she stopped him. I had to be treated in the hospital but ended up ok. I think his intent was to actually seriously injure me, but his younger brother saved me.
well, Franklinx....3 short years later, that angel, Joey, died of a gunshot to the head at the tender age of 14...he had been clinically depressed for about 2 years, then shot himself...you say how your son in law doesnt have a reason to be depressed because he is 'young and can get any girl' and external things like that. Well that shows you do not know what depression is...it doesnt have to do with if someone is young, or good looking. That boy Joey was only 14 when he shot himself and died. I guess you will laugh all this off, but its a real illness and it can end up deadly the way it did with that boy. 
Joey was a reall good boy, he was sweet, quiet, always cared about others, risked his own neck to save mine. Probably he knew his older brother would beat him up later, for interfering with me...but he did anyway. I have a feeling you dont have a clue what any of this means but hopfully someday it might sink in a little..


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

Yes, it is true. Depression can hurt people who seem like they have it all going for them. It affects people who seem outwardly well adjusted and stable. Depression can be serious, and not to be taken lightly. No on knows what goes on in the minds of others. Take it from me. I know this better than I would like to.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

laelsmom said:


> Franklinx
> 
> you dont think depression is a real sickness??
> 
> ...


 1st of all, he is not my "son in law" hes my stepson! big difference, you need to read better! 

There are some real phsycos out there indeed. Im sorry to hear that that happened to you, but honestly, it has no relevance to this topic, and I actually dont know what the 1st part of the story had to do with kid committing suicide, how are the 2 related? are you saying he shot himself cause his brother beat you up? I dont get it:scratchhead: either way, you are quite insulting to suggest, I would laugh about that.

you are also absurd ,to suggest I dont think depression can be a serious condition, you are twisting my words, I said that, not everyone who says theyre depressed, suffers form "clinical depression", which is a chemical imbalance of neurotransmitters(serotonin) to the brain, not being "unhappy". 

Unlike you, I understand depression, as I stated here several Xs, Ive dealt with it myself ,when I was young, thats how I know the symptoms, and even if he is developing clinical depression, it doesnt excuse him from expecting his mommy to take off work, and drive an hour away, to bring him clothes he could have just packed himself. Not to mention if hes that seriously ill he should stay there longer than 3 days! 

If Im a grinch for expecting a 22yo to act somewhat like an adult, then so be it. Merry christmas to all!


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## kingsqueen (Nov 25, 2010)

Franklin

Since we are all strangers on a forum, obviously you have more information and experience with this situation than we do. You have stated on several occasions that you do not truly believe that your stepson is depressed and that he is only looking for attention. This is, of course, a possibility. You would know better than us, your stepson would know better than you.

That's all irrelevent to the glaring issue ... you neither respect nor love your wife. She shows no appreciation for everything that you have done for her all of these years. Why are you still married to her?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Franklin has been very frustrated for some time now, I think he is genuine here, even if he is coming off somewhat angry & short tempered. Just the title of his Thread grabs your attention to judgement. 

Sorry to hear your house is still on the Market. Everything seems to be riding on this sale -where your lives go from here. Can't be easy. 

I hope you will see GOOD friends during the Holidays in addition to these family members where you feel on egg shells, or want to strangle (try to restrain your words & actions, use this forum instead). It can be like therapy. Have a few drinks, be merry. We surely can't pick our family members or who & how our spouses children turn out, just try to love them in these Holiday moments that will soon enough pass. And THANK the Good Lord for Friends & those who make the difference in our lives, helping us stumbling along in all the madness.


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

franklinx,

just to clarify, the fact his older brother beat me up had nothing to do with his suicide 3 years later. I was simply relaying the story, to show what kind of person he (the younger brother) was..he was only 11 at the time, his brother was 16, alot bigger than him, but he put himself at risk, to help me out of that situation where i would have ended up seriously injured or possilby even killed, by his older brother. He may have known he would later eat dirt for helping me, but he did it anyways.
when I said 'son in law' it was simply a mistake, I understand his relation to you is stepson..

of course, like all of us here, i never met your stepson..I only can go by what you stated- that he was treated inpatient for depression. 
you insist he is not really depressed, but how would you know that for sure? Most people do not 'check themselves in' to a hostpial for fun..
perhaps he has enough humility to try and get treatment for how he is feeling- since only he knows how bad he feels inside.
I just dont get why you are so hostile to him and seem to resent any attention that gets taken away from you..
if i was his stepmom, I would want to talk to him about it and try to be closer to him, not make fun of him


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