# Together for over a year, i moved to another country..etc..



## noideawhattodo (Dec 8, 2011)

Hi,

I'm new on this forum, but only in the sense of posting 

I'll just jump right to it;
My girlfriend and i met eachother online in the summer of 2010, 
after chatting and camming for 1.5 months or so (she had a boyfriend
at the time) we decided to meet in person.
I flew to Netherlands and well, it was perfect, everything i've hoped for and more.
I stayed there for 3 days. One month later, and after more chatting and camming, we decide i should come there again, but this time with a car, so she could come back to Norway with me, and move in with me 
We lived in norway for 4 months. About 1 month of staying in norway, she got pregnant, and we were really happy 
We then decided it would be better to move back to Netherlands due to her sister living there, and she really wanted her sister near during pregnancy/birth(to the empty appartment i kept paying rent on while we were in Norway, she broke up with her boyfriend after i left from Netherlands the first time, and hence moved out of the appartment they rented together, but since finding an appartment in netherlands is semi-hard, i just continued to pay rent on it, just in case). Before moving from Norway to Netherlands i did some searching for jobs etc, and had 3 interviews lined up. So in middle of january we packed the car and drove back to netherlands, into the apartment, and i got a job very quick, 5min drive from the appartment.
Things went excellent, job was great, pregnancy was great, everything super. Baby was born this summer, and she is now 5 months old.

Here is the problem(Sorry for the long backstory);
Sex in the start was amazing, she was up for anything, mostly every day, sometimes 2-3times pr day.
In the pregnacy is was alittle less, but still at least every other day till the end almost.
After the baby was born, ofcourse im understanding of that, and i didnt even suggest anything untill she did.
The first time it went good, she came really quick, then me, and then again her..
This was maybe 3 weeks after birth, if even that.
The next time was perhaps a week, then 2 weeks... then a month, and its been every month or more since then.

So my question is, how can this be, and do you think its fair? To be so into it in the start, and now.. it feels terrible.
Is there something i could do? what should i do?
To me, finding another girl is not an option, i really love her deeply, and i love my beautiful daugther, why does this last component of the perfect life have to ruin so much for my mental health?

She says she is just not into it, or... not now, not in the mornings, only acceptable time seems to be when we are going to bed, but then she doesnt want to anyway because she is too tired... Does she think of me at all? Maybe i sound felfish, or just using cliches, but in my opinion sex is needed for a health and deep relationship.
The baby sleeps good as well, naps in the day, and sleeping all the way through in the night in her own crib.. so that also could really be the problem.

If she isnt in the mood, is it selfish of me to think... "If she isnt in the mood, would it be so terrible to give me a BJ, the guy she says I love you so much" to like 50 times pr day?"

And i know most of the time the answers to these kind of posts made from frustrated guys like me is; Just talk to her about it.
I have(or tried that is, she just becomes angry really quick when i try to talk about, starting to cry saying why do you stay with me if im not what you want etc.

In a way i feel trapped, but also not since i -want- to be here with her and my daughter.



Also worth mentioning is i have a good paying job, she hasnt had to work since she met me, and these days she is at home with my daughter. As for housework, i always do the dishes, i wake up in the middle of the night if our daughter needs us, i make bottle for her in the morning, while making coffee for my girlfriend. The only thing i dont really do is making food, but almost always when my girlfriend makes food, im kinda like her assistant or/and i do the dishes then. And if anything else needs to be dont, i have the tendancy to never... ever... say no.
I even drive her brother in law's son to football-practice every saturday morning at 07:30 ..(my day off) because my girlfriend asked me too.

Excuse the language, but what the HELL am i suppose to do?
Thanks for reading if you got this far


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

*starting to cry saying why do you stay with me if im not what you want etc.*
I dont think she really wants you to go. You must know if thats the case. I dont think talking will help either. Like I wrote on another post, in this situation you should write a letter similar to what you wrote here telling her your needs and asking her to help fulfill them. This gives her time to think about it before replying.


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## noideawhattodo (Dec 8, 2011)

accept said:


> *starting to cry saying why do you stay with me if im not what you want etc.*
> I dont think she really wants you to go. You must know if thats the case. I dont think talking will help either. Like I wrote on another post, in this situation you should write a letter similar to what you wrote here telling her your needs and asking her to help fulfill them. This gives her time to think about it before replying.


And now we just had sex.. From seing the open browserwindows as she put the computer to sleep maybe, even though she didnt say anything about it. Its sad cos i dont know if she really wanted, but did it out of guilt or fear. :-(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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