# Wife has daddy issues



## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

I struggle with divorce because my wife used me as a punching bag for her daddy issues. She still will not deal with them. She would rather blame me and break up our family than deal with them. She has gone to several counselors and they all eventually get to the subject of her dad. Not much I can do, I know. 

I just hate it. One counselor told her "the husband you want and need does not exist". So many unrealistic expectations put on me. Yet I still tried. And I don't know why I have such a hard time letting go. Maybe its my own insecurities that make me hold on to something that was never there. Im trying to detach. When you have a child its a little harder.

When I see her it triggers something that makes me sad or anxious to want to make it work. Maybe because she is real pretty. Sometimes I wish she would gain 100lbs so I would not be physically attracted to her. Woukd make it easier. /vent


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Can you describe the issues?


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Her dad told her she was a piece of ****. She would not ammount to anything. She went through years of school to prove him wrong. He was military. Treated his wife like crap and made my wife loose respect for her mom. Killed her self image. so my wife is constantly chasing happiness through impressing her dad and helping others to make herself feel better


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Hmm, sounds similar to issues my wife has but her father was not abusive. He left my wife's mom when my wife as a child, and always told wife she had to tough it out and make it on her own. He has lots of money but rarely helped out with money. She's money-tight but allows herself impulse buys to let off steam. I think her abandonment issues are partly what led to her cheating and leaving, but she doesn't seem to want to more than a few session of IC on that. I hear you...


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: Wife has daddy issues*



staystrong said:


> Hmm, sounds similar to issues my wife has but her father was not abusive. He left my wife's mom when my wife as a child, and always told wife she had to tough it out and make it on her own. He has lots of money but rarely helped out with money. She's money-tight but allows herself impulse buys to let off steam. I think her abandonment issues are partly what led to her cheating and leaving, but she doesn't seem to want to more than a few session of IC on that. I hear you...


My wifes father was not physical, but emotional. He was gone alot with military and my wife was a latch key kid. He spoiled her and never told her no. Maybe because he was gone a lot. So she to this day can not deal with not getting her way.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

You sound fatigued from this. What do you want to do about it at this point? "Detach" means what to you? The big D?


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Im detaching now. Accepted the divorce after delaying and hoping something would change...... Changed locks in the house, told her she could not come over


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

That's good. Focus on yourself, man, as best as you can.


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