# Considering divorce but feel confused/scared



## webdings (Nov 14, 2009)

I have been married for 10 yrs and have 2 daughters, 10 and 13. The last 2 yrs my H has been dealing with depression and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. He tunes me out all the time and we don't do anything together. We have no sex life. I try to get him to do things with the family but he won't, says he doesn't have fun with me. However, he doesn't try. He is completing emotionless and won't even hold a conversation with me. He is retired and I work 14 hr days, including commute. The weekends I spent time with the girls because he doesn't want to do anything with me. I feel like we are already living separate lives. 
About a month ago he started talking about swinging and how he wanted to have sex with other women. (that didn't hurt me at all..BS) I don't know what else to do. I suggested marriage counseling, he's already going to councelsing for himself, but he refused to go. I have so many more feelings but it gets difficult to write them all down. I would love any advice. Thanks.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

hi!!
You'll find tons of experienced people here, so expect some good advice from people going just in front of you.

You've been through a lot it sounds like and have put in a lot of time. If he refuses to be part, only you can decide when is the breaking point. If he's that disconnected and refuses, then what else are you supposed to do? To me it doesnt sound love filled but loveless. To ignore you like that and then ask for other people? Sorry.

Anyway. Just a comment of support. You should also go to counseling yourself and you should not feel alone. You're better and stronger than you think.
Whichever way it goes you need some supoprt and guidance. You'll get the suport here, and tons of advice, if you spend hours with a professional, they will know you and the situation much better and will be in a better position to guide.

You will feel better with every step you take.

all the best.


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