# marriage split hurts so much!!



## amtm1976 (Dec 15, 2012)

my wife of 11 years me last week that our marriage is over! i'm not going into specifics about her/my feelings about whyi justneed to vent i suppose.

the catalyst for this was her meeting a guy a week earlier but she has been unhappy for years. she told me that she has felt like this for such a long time (prior to my dad getting cancer in Nov 2010 and passing last year). Out of respect for me and our kids she didnt do this during that time and i am thankful for that.

she has said that due to the sheer amount of time that has passed there is nothing left and certainly no love for me as a husband anymore. I am a very pragmatic person and i know that there is no way back from this. How can i win her back when there is not the slightest glimmer of hope? i know she isn't with anyone at the moment but she wouldnt have looked if she was happy with me. We have always had a really good sex life but lately she said that when we were making love she didnt feel close to me and it was just sex. i should have read the signs then i suppose!

i am devastated to have moved out the house but the situation with my kids is good and there will never be an issue with access.

the main hurt i am feeling is to know that my wife and lover of 14 years has gone forever. to know that i will not kiss or hold her again hurts so much.

I have begged and pleaded for her to have me back but now the shock has worn off i know this wont happen. 

i know we can end up as friends and this is what i want for the sake of our children but the hurt i have will remain for a while. i know it will pass in time but i cannot see past today at the moment.

I'm not going to slag her off on here and call her names, i have to accept this is it but it hurts!

A x


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## MisterRitter (Sep 1, 2012)

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I know how much it can hurt.

I have a similar story but with its own issues, with a key difference being my separation started in august. For me, time has made it better because I have done a lot of work trying to figure out what happened. They say time heals all wounds, but I don't think that is necessarily true. It can be true but might not happen without thought and reflection.

Good luck to you, I hope it gets better.


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## DDGresham1 (Dec 15, 2012)

I have gone through something very similar, especially where the "connection" in the bedroom is concerned. I was taught to look at women as objects and not as people and though I loved my wife, in the bedroom, I didn't show it very often. I am really too old to start a family and not certain that I would want to. I also agree that a person may not ever "get over it." I will try and use the understanding that I have now to live life as a better person. My wife wants to remain friends and I am probably lucky to have that. I think the key is to come to grips with reality and move on. I will keep in touch with her though as I care about her and neither of us has that many close friends.


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