# Hiding secretary/ is this my fault.



## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Hi, I?m new to the group, this is my second post. I can?t find my first one so I thought I did something wrong. I?m Female, 43, Married 17 years with two children 16 and 17. I?ve been struggling since last August 2016, when I found texts on my husbands phone from another woman. Long story short it was his secretary at work. For seven years. The last I knew he didn?t have a secretary due to budget cuts. In the seven years he not once mentioned her name in his work conversations. They even started a Birthday club together which later came out. And he had the nerve to tell me she was an excellent baker. He tried to tell me she was 55-60 years old, but as more truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl. For one year and two months I have been trying to forgive but he has been so mean to me it?s like he just completely changed.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl.


I don't want to accuse you of lying, but all my friends on Facebook tend to post photos of themselves that are very out of date to try and make themselves look more youthful. So if your husband says she is in her fifties, then that very well could be true. 

For example you might see someone post a photo of themselves like this on their facebook page:










but in reality when you stop by their house later that day they actually look like this:


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Teebird43 said:


> Hi, I?m new to the group, this is my second post. I can?t find my first one so I thought I did something wrong. I?m Female, 43, Married 17 years with two children 16 and 17. I?ve been struggling since last August 2016, when I found texts on my husbands phone from another woman. Long story short it was his secretary at work. For seven years. The last I knew he didn?t have a secretary due to budget cuts. In the seven years he not once mentioned her name in his work conversations. They even started a Birthday club together which later came out. And he had the nerve to tell me she was an excellent baker. He tried to tell me she was 55-60 years old, but as more truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl. For one year and two months I have been trying to forgive but he has been so mean to me it?s like he just completely changed.


He has been so mean to you since you discovered the secretary? In what ways has he been mean to you? Do you believe that he was/is in a romantic relationship with her?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

It is obvious he is smitten.

And after working with her, working on her, he is full of himself.

Who knows, she may be buttering up her boss. She likes him. From her standpoint, it is a smart career move to schmooze him.
That said, who knows how she feels.

it is obvious, she cares little for his family.

At this point, I would say he is in deep with this OW, she may or may not be into him, other than a subordinate and friend.

Wishful thinking, likely.

Ask him to leave. Find a new place to hang his overgrown Ego.

What he is doing is sad and disrespectful and has tainted your' marriage.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

I don't think this is your fault.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Teebird43 said:


> Hi, I?m new to the group, this is my second post. I can?t find my first one so I thought I did something wrong. I?m Female, 43, Married 17 years with two children 16 and 17. I?ve been struggling since last August 2016, when I found texts on my husbands phone from another woman. Long story short it was his secretary at work. For seven years. The last I knew he didn?t have a secretary due to budget cuts. In the seven years he not once mentioned her name in his work conversations. They even started a Birthday club together which later came out. And he had the nerve to tell me she was an excellent baker. He tried to tell me she was 55-60 years old, but as more truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl. For one year and two months I have been trying to forgive but he has been so mean to me it?s like he just completely changed.


Would marriage counselling be an option?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

"texts" covers a lot of ground. Are these work related? Personal? Clearly sexual?


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

She left the job in 2014 and they continued texting. The texts were about her coming back for a retirement party, meeting there at a certain time, and he asked her if she would like to have lunch with him the next day. None of this was going to be told to me. He knew a whole lot about her personal life and one of the texts he told her that I was in the hospital again. So from 2008 -2013 they worked together. In 2011 I felt a complete disconnect from my husband and even asked him if he was having an affair and he denied.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

We?ve been to counseling with our pastor, my therapist but he continues to blame me for everything. But the thing that hurts is that he has treated me so bad since I found the texts. He told me the other night that he didn?t respect me.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

toblerone said:


> I don't think this is your fault.


 He tells me he hid it because he didn?t want to deal with my jealousy. I?m not jealous, I?m insecure. I?m an attractive girl, but I?m insecure. My insecurities with him began in the beginning of our marriage when I found out he had a porn addiction. But I worked through it and we moved on from it. But I never felt good enough for him after that.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> It is obvious he is smitten.
> 
> And after working with her, working on her, he is full of himself.
> 
> ...


 That?s more like what I?ve been feeling. That he?s been hiding this from me so he could continue doing it? But I just love him.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Steve1000 said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > Hi, I?m new to the group, this is my second post. I can?t find my first one so I thought I did something wrong. I?m Female, 43, Married 17 years with two children 16 and 17. I?ve been struggling since last August 2016, when I found texts on my husbands phone from another woman. Long story short it was his secretary at work. For seven years. The last I knew he didn?t have a secretary due to budget cuts. In the seven years he not once mentioned her name in his work conversations. They even started a Birthday club together which later came out. And he had the nerve to tell me she was an excellent baker. He tried to tell me she was 55-60 years old, but as more truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl. For one year and two months I have been trying to forgive but he has been so mean to me it?s like he just completely changed.
> ...


 Yes!! The day after I found the texts I told him to cut ties with her. He did. But after that day is when the silent treatments began, his tone of voice changed with me. It was more harsh and mean, I kept catching him in these lies. Like he told me he texted his Mom one day so I asked him if I could see the message. So he said sure and handed me the phone. When I looked at the messages there was not one from his Mother. So I told him there is no message from your Mom. His response was.. well it was there, I don?t know what happened to it! He literally excepted me to believe it just vanished. This lie he actually fessed up too. He hurts me on purpose by how he talks to me and then somehow It gets turned around back onto me to make me feel bad for him hurting me. I told him I thought I was feeling like I was being emotionally abused and that angered him to the point that he came towards me with his fist in the air! He went from my Husband to someone I don?t even know.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

badsanta said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl.
> ...


. No. It was verified by my husband. He told me that was her. He told me that he lied about her age because he knew I would be very upset.


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

first of all you admit your faults(being insecure) so work on them. Secondly he should not have tried to hide anything. Of course unless you specifically asked him if he had a secretary then him not bringing it up is not really hiding it. I'm sure there is more to the story, and likely BOTH sides have it mostly wrong. 3 sides to every story you know, his/hers/and finally the truth. 

My wife works in a building with numerous others, many of them male and college aged. I don't know their names, I don't keep up with them, and more importantly I don't stress over it because it just ain't worth it. if one of them took her, they would bring her back quickly enough. LOL Joking aside though, she talks to coworkers all the time and I don't know what is discussed or even the sex of the other party. Why, because I know where my wife will be laying her head each night, right on my chest. 

We were not always so trusting, again I don't really like calling it that because while trust must be there the whole of it is care enough give them freedom to make their own decisions. Back 15+ years ago we would have knock down drag out fights over the perception of being slighted in any way. We grew past that, and honestly could not be happier. Neither of us go out drinking with friends regularly, and honestly if 1 goes then 9/10 times we will both go because we WANT our partner there!We don't hide texts either, our phone sit on a table between us, and when one goes off whoever is closest answers it. Text me after work hours and I can almost guarantee you will be talking to my wife via text and never know it.We don't do it to see what the other is up to, but to help out the other. We have ZERO secrets from each other and being totally open about things has worked great for us(except when I tell her I really don't like her baked chicken that was a fiasco).

anyway, my point is, work WITH each other, but don't try to work AROUND them. if you are sneaking around trying to find things that is just as bad as him sneaking around trying to DO things.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Teebird43 said:


> We?ve been to counseling with our pastor, my therapist but he continues to blame me for everything. But the thing that hurts is that he has treated me so bad since I found the texts. He told me the other night that he didn?t respect me.


When you say everything what does that mean?


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

badsanta said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > truth came out and with the help of Facebook she is 34 and blonde, attractive girl.
> ...


I don't want to accuse you of lying, but all my friends on Facebook tend to post photos of themselves that are very out of date to try and make themselves look more youthful. So if your husband says she is in her fifties, then that very well could be true. I was referred here because I was told it might be helpful. I?m trying to save my marriage. I have no reason to lie!


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

sokillme said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > We?ve been to counseling with our pastor, my therapist but he continues to blame me for everything. But the thing that hurts is that he has treated me so bad since I found the texts. He told me the other night that he didn?t respect me.
> ...


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

happy2gether said:


> first of all you admit your faults(being insecure) so work on them. Secondly he should not have tried to hide anything. Of course unless you specifically asked him if he had a secretary then him not bringing it up is not really hiding it. I'm sure there is more to the story, and likely BOTH sides have it mostly wrong. 3 sides to every story you know, his/hers/and finally the truth.
> 
> My wife works in a building with numerous others, many of them male and college aged. I don't know their names, I don't keep up with them, and more importantly I don't stress over it because it just ain't worth it. if one of them took her, they would bring her back quickly enough. LOL Joking aside though, she talks to coworkers all the time and I don't know what is discussed or even the sex of the other party. Why, because I know where my wife will be laying her head each night, right on my chest.
> 
> ...


Thank you! We had that! We did. And I?m longing for that back. I?m trying to do extra things for him. I even took naked pics of myself and sent them to him which he loved. But he just continues to treat me poorly. I really think he had feelings for her and when I told him to cut all ties with her he became angry at me because he missed her. I don?t know. Best wishes. Thank you.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

toblerone said:


> I don't think this is your fault.


. 

Thank you! He makes me feel like I?m going crazy sometimes!


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Teebird43 said:


> .
> 
> Thank you! He makes me feel like I?m going crazy sometimes!


That's because he is gas lighting you, turning the blame on you instead of him. Don't allow him to do this. He is having an inappropriate relationship with another women, and it very well could be an affair. You need to snoop more to verify whether or not he is having an affair. Don't bring it up anymore and go into stealth mode. Check his phone frequently. Keep track of where he is, and use a gps or track his location by phone if you can set that up. You might even hide a VAR under the seat of his car. If you can afford it, hire a PI and he or she will find the evidence you need.

You're right in that your husband is angry and cold because you're intruding on his relationship with Madam Secretary. This is huge red flag that comes straight out of the wayward playbook.

So you now need to be strategic. Follow these steps:

1) snoop and be thorough and stealth. Don't let on you suspect he's having an affair until you've gotten the evidence you need. Pretend you've forgotten about it already.
2) Once you get your evidence, confront him and demand he end contact with the other woman for life. Be present when he tells her or texts her "I love my wife and our affair has hurt her in a way that I will always regret. Out of respect for her and my marriage, I can never have contact with you again." 
3) Recover your marriage, and continue to keep tabs on him holding him accountable for where he is and who he communicates with.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> Yes!! The day after I found the texts I told him to cut ties with her. He did. But after that day is when the silent treatments began, his tone of voice changed with me.


I don't know if you are familiar with the concept of an "emotional affair" but perhaps that is what is/was going on between them. To some people that get involved in this type of an affair they may not realize what is going on because they actually do remain physically faithful to a spouse. Emotionally however they may find themselves drawn to this other person which serves to pull them away from their spouse. These types of relationships are more than friendships as they begin serving an emotional purpose. Generally speaking that purpose is that of an "escape" from the pain/struggle of their own life. That would be why he would share with her about you being in the hospital is because he was perhaps using her to help run away from things causing him pain in his life.

Generally speaking life is painful and messy, even in the best of circumstances, so by no means should you beat yourself up and/or blame yourself. Your husband needs to be responsible or keeping himself emotionally together and turn to you if he needs help and not to others. 

It may also be helpful for you to understand the dynamics of a rebound relationship. These occur when someone is in pain and find a relationship that helps with that pain (usually just after a breakup or something like that). Once the person heals from the pain the rebound relationship no longer serves a purpose and will end. So the idea that some relationships are built on escaping pain is a rather common one. Perhaps learning this may help you to see some of the dynamics fueling your husband's behavior. 

So if you told your husband to cut contact with this other person and he suddenly became very cruel and intolerable, it is likely because you may have just cut him off from one of his addictive sources of emotional pain relief. The result would be for him to go into withdrawal and begin experiencing a great deal of emotional pain, which he will likely take out on you. He either needs to just deal with that on his own, or the two of you need to work together and find out what is causing him so much pain and try to address that in a loving way together. 

Hope that helps. Keep in mind I could be completely wrong, so please take my advice with a grain of salt.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Teebird43 said:


> I even took naked pics of myself and sent them to him which he loved. But he just continues to treat me poorly. I really think he had feelings for her and when I told him to cut all ties with her he became angry at me because he missed her.


Oh boy.

I don't think it's possible that you could possibly do the "Pick Me!!!" dance any harder or faster than you're already dancing it.

Jesus. The guy treats you like **** he got stuck on the bottom of his shoe, does nothing but lie to you and gas-light you, he takes advantage of you and verbally abuses you and puts you down constantly, and blames you for everything wrong in this world. 

And here YOU are jumping around like a trained circus seal desperately trying to please him in any way you can because you're so desperate for a *scrap *of his affection. Please stop humiliating yourself.

Desperate and needy is NOT attractive. *At all*. Secondly, why on EARTH are you rewarding his disgusting disrespect toward you by turning yourself inside out trying to cater to him in every way you can? What is the LOGIC in that? Does that make _sense_ to you, that he treats you like garbage and you respond by humiliating yourself and pandering to his every need? I can only imagine what you'd do if you caught him naked with her - buy the ass-wipe a car?

Stop *rewarding* nasty behavior.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Oh boy.
> 
> I don't think it's possible that you could possibly do the "Pick Me!!!" dance any harder or faster than you're already dancing it.
> 
> ...



Yep.....pick me dances never work. 

Throwing him out is the only real chance to save things. Right now he can have how *****, his nice life, and a wife bending over backwards to kiss his ass.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

You feel insecure because he is cheating! File for divorce and take him to the cleaners. His smile will fade real fast. Go out. Go to the gym and hire a trainer to lose weight and get fit. Change your wardrobe and change your hair style. Just change. 

You will feel better. Your insecurities will go away. If he finds the respect you deserve, maybe date him, but do divorce him and take everything you can for the kids you two have. His disrespect is atrocious. He has never been a good husband. He deserved a royal biotch! It's time you become that royal biotch for you and your kids sake. 

Wake up! You have the power to ruin him economically and wipe the years of disrespect he has thrown towards you. He has had no consequences for all the damage he has caused you. Life is a beach, you are the vessel that will make him pay the price for his nasty behaviors all these years your love was not appreciated.


Don't be afraid to lose him. He isn't worth much. He will be worth much less when you wipe him out! 


Do it yesterday!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> She left the job in 2014 and they continued texting. The texts were about her coming back for a retirement party, meeting there at a certain time, and he asked her if she would like to have lunch with him the next day. None of this was going to be told to me. He knew a whole lot about her personal life and one of the texts he told her that I was in the hospital again. So from 2008 -2013 they worked together. In 2011 I felt a complete disconnect from my husband and even asked him if he was having an affair and he denied.


Looks to me like you H is dating.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> We?ve been to counseling with our pastor, my therapist but he continues to blame me for everything. But the thing that hurts is that he has treated me so bad since I found the texts. He told me the other night that he didn?t respect me.


Your H has been caught. Have him served D papers. You can do better.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> He tells me he hid it because he didn?t want to deal with my jealousy. I?m not jealous, I?m insecure. I?m an attractive girl, but I?m insecure. My insecurities with him began in the beginning of our marriage when I found out he had a porn addiction. But I worked through it and we moved on from it. But I never felt good enough for him after that.


H hid it because he is cheating. Your are being gaslighted.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Teebird43 said:


> Yes!! The day after I found the texts I told him to cut ties with her. He did. But after that day is when the silent treatments began, his tone of voice changed with me. It was more harsh and mean, I kept catching him in these lies. Like he told me he texted his Mom one day so I asked him if I could see the message. So he said sure and handed me the phone. When I looked at the messages there was not one from his Mother. So I told him there is no message from your Mom. His response was.. well it was there, I don?t know what happened to it! He literally excepted me to believe it just vanished. This lie he actually fessed up too. He hurts me on purpose by how he talks to me and then somehow It gets turned around back onto me to make me feel bad for him hurting me. I told him I thought I was feeling like I was being emotionally abused and that angered him to the point that he came towards me with his fist in the air! He went from my Husband to someone I don?t even know.


Skippy is missing his GF. Have him served.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Your husband is showing zero concern for the hurt he is causing you. In fact, he is treating your worse since you found out that he's been lying and hiding things from you. It is probable that your husband is an adulterer. Your response to this is to think that it is somehow your fault. You are feeling rejected. It appears to me that you believe there is something wrong with you that he would reject you, therefore you are rewarding him for his horrible attitude and behavior by sending him naked photos of you and competing with this other woman for his attention and affection.

I understand that you are trying to win him back, but what you are doing does not work to win a man’s heart. Rather than making you look like an attractive woman, it makes you look cheap and desperate. He may enjoy it, but he will not honor you for it and it won’t turn him away from adultery. It will just make you one of his options. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it’s the truth.

The only way to win your husband back is to be willing to lose him. The only way reconciliation will work is if your husband has a change of heart and is repentant. That does happen, but pretty much only if a betrayed spouse sets some serious boundaries and refuses to be mistreated. He has to fear losing you in order to do anything to win you back.

The problem here is that you’ve got this backwards. It’s not your job to win him back. It’s his job to win you back. You may be thinking that he’s not going to do that, because he doesn’t want you. However, he may change his mind when he sees that you value yourself and are not going to be treated like an object with no value rather than the person of value that you are. Likely he is going to think twice when he realizes that he is risking the life that he currently enjoys if he doesn’t turn himself around quickly.

You mentioned that you are involved with your church. What denomination are you with? What instructions has your pastor given you? What instructions has he given your husband? Do you believe that your husband is in authority over you?


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

CynthiaDe said:


> Your husband is showing zero concern for the hurt he is causing you. In fact, he is treating your worse since you found out that he's been lying and hiding things from you. It is probable that your husband is an adulterer. Your response to this is to think that it is somehow your fault. You are feeling rejected. It appears to me that you believe there is something wrong with you that he would reject you, therefore you are rewarding him for his horrible attitude and behavior by sending him naked photos of you and competing with this other woman for his attention and affection.
> 
> I understand that you are trying to win him back, but what you are doing does not work to win a man?s heart. Rather than making you look like an attractive woman, it makes you look cheap and desperate. He may enjoy it, but he will not honor you for it and it won?t turn him away from adultery. It will just make you one of his options. I?m sorry to have to tell you this, but it?s the truth.
> 
> ...


. 


You mentioned that you are involved with your church. What denomination are you with? What instructions has your pastor given you? What instructions has he given your husband? Do you believe that your husband is in authority over you?
Wow! Thank you for your honesty. I really needed to hear this. Our pastor told him he was wrong for hiding that information and that he would never do that to his wife. He had us start prayin for each other out loud and doing a few exercises but it didn?t change the fact that he still didn?t show any remorse and he still kept being mean. Harsh tone of voice, furrowing brows, he doesn?t support me when I have to discipline our teens. In fact he sides with them. 
Yes I do believe he has authority over me. He can?t take any suggestions from me. And my opinion is always wrong.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Yeswecan said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > Yes!! The day after I found the texts I told him to cut ties with her. He did. But after that day is when the silent treatments began, his tone of voice changed with me. It was more harsh and mean, I kept catching him in these lies. Like he told me he texted his Mom one day so I asked him if I could see the message. So he said sure and handed me the phone. When I looked at the messages there was not one from his Mother. So I told him there is no message from your Mom. His response was.. well it was there, I don?t know what happened to it! He literally excepted me to believe it just vanished. This lie he actually fessed up too. He hurts me on purpose by how he talks to me and then somehow It gets turned around back onto me to make me feel bad for him hurting me. I told him I thought I was feeling like I was being emotionally abused and that angered him to the point that he came towards me with his fist in the air! He went from my Husband to someone I don?t even know.
> ...


 Someone told me that and I didn?t want to believe it because it hurts to much. Could he ever love me again. He says he loves me. But he doesn?t always show it.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Bibi1031 said:


> You feel insecure because he is cheating! File for divorce and take him to the cleaners. His smile will fade real fast. Go out. Go to the gym and hire a trainer to lose weight and get fit. Change your wardrobe and change your hair style. Just change.
> 
> You will feel better. Your insecurities will go away. If he finds the respect you deserve, maybe date him, but do divorce him and take everything you can for the kids you two have. His disrespect is atrocious. He has never been a good husband. He deserved a royal biotch! It's time you become that royal biotch for you and your kids sake.
> 
> ...


Thank you. This is so hard to hear but the feedback I?m getting is really helping. He has always had a problem starring at other girls. I do feel at times he just uses me for sex. My weight has nothing to do with it. I?m an active person and I go to the gym. I love the gym it?s my happy place. It?s hard for me to get my husband to be active.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Yeswecan said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > He tells me he hid it because he didn?t want to deal with my jealousy. I?m not jealous, I?m insecure. I?m an attractive girl, but I?m insecure. My insecurities with him began in the beginning of our marriage when I found out he had a porn addiction. But I worked through it and we moved on from it. But I never felt good enough for him after that.
> ...


That is my concern too. But then I start to think... am I just being paranoid. I?ve searched gaslighting before and could relate. I often feel like I?m dying inside.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> She'sStillGotIt said:
> 
> 
> > Oh boy.
> ...


. 

Oh my God this is so hard to hear but I need to hear this. I guess I thought or felt that I wasn?t good enough for him so I was/am doing everything I can to be the woman he wants to look at. But I LOVE him. It?s something I have thought about and I did ask him for a Divorce after 10 months of hell because I saw the text messages. He then agreed to get a therapist. Well that JUST Happened. He?s gone twice.


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Rick Blaine said:


> Teebird43 said:
> 
> 
> > .
> ...


Okay. Thank you!


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

I'm going to be blunt here. Love isn't going to be enough. Especially when he treats you like s***. It's time to start loving yourself now. Start protecting yourself. You're worth more than this. Why do you want to love him? What's so great about him?


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## Teebird43 (Oct 17, 2017)

Spoons027 said:


> I'm going to be blunt here. Love isn't going to be enough. Especially when he treats you like s***. It's time to start loving yourself now. Start protecting yourself. You're worth more than this. Why do you want to love him? What's so great about him?





Spoons027 said:


> I'm going to be blunt here. Love isn't going to be enough. Especially when he treats you like s***. It's time to start loving yourself now. Start protecting yourself. You're worth more than this. Why do you want to love him? What's so great about him?


. 
I guess because of his constant blame on me I feel that maybe it is my fault. Did I push him away. But at the same time I was going to college to better myself for us!! So I worked during the day and had school at night so I can see how he might of felt alone. But he also had a pornography addiction when we first got together but I didn?t know about it until I found it on his computer. But we worked that out! Or so I thought! I guess I have hope that if he continues in therapy maybe he?ll see how is hurting me. Underneath all of it there was a good guy.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You're being a doormat and he sounds like a total POS. Stop being a doormat, understand that love isn't and never has been enough, and send this lying, cheating, emotionally abusive, manipulative, loser to his OW with a bow around his neck and your compliments.


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