# How to get wife in the mood



## moondawgy (Nov 28, 2012)

I'm looking for tips on getting my wife in the mood. We dont have alot of sex but when we do it's really great. I would like to try things to get her in the mood more often. Any tips will help 

Thank you


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Tip #1 is asking her what would help her get in the mood. Have you tried that?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

good hygiene helps


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

What type of woman is she? Does she enjoy the little luxuries like having a bath run for her?What would she do if she walked into your bedroom and you had candles lit and massage oil warmed?

"How to get wife in the mood" will get you a thousand answers and maybe only one or two will be the answer for how to get YOUR wife in the mood.

Tell more about her,please


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

If you Google that question, you'll get an abundance of answers...read and select the ones you think may actually work.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I always get a running start


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## moondawgy (Nov 28, 2012)

Well she loves to get a good massage. She is always worried about her hygiene. So if she showered first thing in the morning, sex that night could be out of the question. So maybe running her a bath would really get things going.


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## ExitMusic (Nov 28, 2012)

It all depends on the women, but you say it's great so I'm guessing she puts effort into it, which shows she likes having sex, So I'd go for compliments, showing her a good time, setting the mood around the home, but in a nut shell attention and making her feel special. I'm a woman, and women love words!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

moondawgy said:


> Well she loves to get a good massage. She is always worried about her hygiene. So if she showered first thing in the morning, sex that night could be out of the question. So maybe running her a bath would really get things going.


I'm thinking running her a bath then offering to wash her would be sexy

if she's self conscious about her body at all,do it in low light. 


then afterward,use her favorite lotion all over...but do it slowly and compliment her different body parts "i love your sexy tummy baby...you have the cutest belly button"  sounds lame but trust me,that sh*t works!


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## larcenciel (Nov 28, 2012)

This might sound funny, but do some things that would normally be on her to do list, or get the house really clean. 

This might not be true for her, but I'm always less relaxed when I see around me all the stuff that needs to get done.

And yes, then run her a bath if she is self conscious about her hygiene. Help her relax by taking away some to-dos, help her feel fresh and beautiful by letting her tend to her body, and I bet it'll make for a good night.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

If hygiene is an issue can you suggest a shower together at night?

Txt her during the day, a simple "Hi Babe" or whatever you want. Just to let her know you are thinking about her.

Do you two talk about sex and your sex life? If not can you? Talk to your wife, communication is the best tool you have.

My fave thing is just to always have sex in the air, a hug, a hand on the knee, silly in jokes about something we did in bed, showering, txting during the day etc.
Not so easy if you are coming from a place where this doesn't happen but for us this is how we live our daily lives so it is not a huge step to think that we will have sex pretty much every night we are together.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Ask her to write down 5 things that give her lots of pleasure...and see how she answers it. This is a very broad question. That would be a great start....and then surprise her by doing them when she is not expecting them.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> good hygiene helps


totally agreed my w had told me that her friends don't like to have sex with their hubby because he don't bathe everyday. (come on basic hygiene!)

and for me to get my w in the mood, i just simply text (or writing on paper) on how sexy and desirable she was and lusted for her "body" in a perverted way.

after she reads the notes/text, i gradually touches her softly on her shoulders, her back, her breast and ultimately down under. By the time i gone to there she will be really wet 

guess you know whats going to happen next then :rofl:


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Is she a a SAHM or does she go out to work?

When I was a SAHM I just wanted to get out of the house...away from the chores, kids, mummy-duties...
Being away (even for just the day or evening) helped me remember I was a wife as well as a mum.

When I was working away from home... I loved to have nights in with a warm bath together, massage and candles etc...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

It might help for you to understand that, depending on the woman, getting her in the mood may very well require heavy lifting done 48-72 hours in advance that has absolutely nothing to do with sex as you understand the word. 

No amount of candles, massage oil, soft music, and sweet talking will undo the dirty dishes you left in the sink (again!) or the time you made her carry the garbage to the curb in the rain.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

My wife is a sucker for massage, to the point that I bought a massage table (inexpensive one on ebay works great). Even though we have been going through a dry spell, a massage gives the desired results about 75% of the time...She loves having her bottom rubbed, so when I stert rubbing her back she pushes her bottoms down herself....Mission accomplished......


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

This is my personal view. I recently found out that my husband was having an affair. We are talking etc. One of the main things is that my husband wanted more sex than me. It is a big thing for him.

For me, I need to feel loved and wanted and the sex in my opinion will come naturally and will follow.. My husband just cannot see this. So the odd bunch of flowers (husband has brought flowers for me twice in 16 years). 

Yes massage, candles, bath etc. But this is just out of the question. Too much effort for him to do any of this. So ... we are both frustrated and my husband has an affair ..

So just do small things .. I hope this makes sense?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Sorry to read this itskaren. 

It REALLY is the small things that are done often and with love that make the difference isn't it!

Not flowers on your birthday or valentines day

This goes for both sexes IMO.


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## Mike_O (Aug 3, 2011)

Would not it be GREAT if we did not have to manipulate other people to get what we want???

OK - the premise is that we should manipulate each other to accomplish our wants and needs..... OK, then why not prostitution - pay the fee, get the service - no manipulation there. Ah, but marriage is not prostitution... 

Sure, you can massage, buy stuff, say stuff, etc.... but if it is all to manipulate another person to do what you want then .... maybe you need to rethink the situation.

If she only does stuff (says stuff) 'cause you made it happen then what kind of relationship do you really have???

Good Luck!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Mike_O said:


> Would not it be GREAT if we did not have to manipulate other people to get what we want???
> 
> OK - the premise is that we should manipulate each other to accomplish our wants and needs..... OK, then why not prostitution - pay the fee, get the service - no manipulation there. Ah, but marriage is not prostitution...
> 
> ...


Surely there's a difference between overt manipulation and just doing what is necessary to get your partner in the mood. 

If I don't grease the skids during the week by showing affection, then I know when the weekend rolls around she won't feel sexual towards me. It's not a calculus of "has he checked off all of the boxes", but instead one of feeling disconnected, undesired, and unloved. 

That's no more manipulation than putting gas in your car "manipulates" it into taking you to work in the morning.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Mike_O said:


> Sure, you can massage, say stuff, etc.... but if it is all to manipulate another person to do what you want then .... maybe you need to rethink the situation.


OK.. i took out the buy stuff (unnecessary in my world)

But why is this other stuff manipulation? This is the sort of thing we do when were trying to impressive our new lover/date/partner in the early days of a relationship.

But sometimes we get lazy and forget to prioritize our relationship. We expect fun and sexy loving without being a fun and sexy lover.

If we want sex to be like it was in the early days, be the person you were in those early days...loving and attentive.

Why is this seen as such hard work or manipulation? Is a massage or saying 'stuff' really not worth the effort if your spouse feels loved and cherished because of it?

Mike - If I'm hoping to have sex with my H and I kiss and cuddle him and offer a massage am I being manipulative.... or loving? 

:scratchhead:


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

kissing and tweaking her nipples?


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> My wife is a sucker for massage, to the point that I bought a massage table (inexpensive one on ebay works great). Even though we have been going through a dry spell, a massage gives the desired results about 75% of the time...She loves having her bottom rubbed, so when I stert rubbing her back she pushes her bottoms down herself....Mission accomplished......


i actually try that! it works 80% of the time, by the time she/me rub her/my "down-under" oooohhhh that tension had escalated to a porno scene (we had wild sex for the whole night)


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

IslandGirl3 said:


> kissing and tweaking her nipples?


No, that gets me in the mood. At least as far as having a swollen, purple scrotum, ruptured testicle, and irreversibly fractured penis gets everyone in the mood.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

It's hard to say without knowing the types of things your wife likes. 
But maybe you could try taking a bubble bath with her, maybe a dark bathroom lit with candles.

Lay her on the bed and give an massage.

Or if she needs more of an emotional connection, try making sure you spend 20 minutes a day just talking and listening to her. (IMO. This should always be done)

Flirt with her, send romantic/flirty texts during the day

Schedule alone time with her...often.

Ask her...


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

Whisper some sexy words to her..


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Shower [ Soapy ] Massage.

Sensual [ Scented oils ] Massage.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

itskaren said:


> This is my personal view. I recently found out that my husband was having an affair. We are talking etc. One of the main things is that my husband wanted more sex than me. It is a big thing for him.
> 
> For me, I need to feel loved and wanted and the sex in my opinion will come naturally and will follow.. My husband just cannot see this. So the odd bunch of flowers (husband has brought flowers for me twice in 16 years).
> 
> ...


Out of the question? As I mentioned, I recently bought a massage table, I am now into formulating my own massage oils...How does sweet almond and lillac strike you?

A man who dosnt "make the effort" really dosn't want sex....Your husband was not "tired" of you, or needing more sex, he just wanted some "strange"


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Mike_O said:


> Would not it be GREAT if we did not have to manipulate other people to get what we want???
> 
> OK - the premise is that we should manipulate each other to accomplish our wants and needs..... OK, then why not prostitution - pay the fee, get the service - no manipulation there. Ah, but marriage is not prostitution...
> 
> ...


If that's the only reason you're doing it, I could possibly agree with this. That said, I think that while I may give my fiancee a back rub, or rub lotion on her feet (she loves that) or whatever I do, I also do it because I love her and I want to do nice things for her. So it's not manipulation, it's doing the same task over and over while at times expecting one result (sex) and at other times a different one (make her feel good/loved/etc.).



Cletus said:


> No, that gets me in the mood. At least as far as having a swollen, purple scrotum, ruptured testicle, and irreversibly fractured penis gets everyone in the mood.


If that comes from touching her nipples, what happen if you touch her vajayjay? Do you guys have sex or role play Mortal Kombat scenes?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

to get your wife in the mood, do non sexual things that show her that you love her.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

It may be just me, but how you start the day with your SO, can determine a lot about what happens that night. If you are both working and you come home and just plop yourself down on the couch and expect her to do everything, then don't expect much later (she will be too tired). Do you give her some tender 'sugar', a kiss a hug, etc, first thing in the morning or before you both leave for work? You have to get her to think about looking forward to the evening hours with you. For women it is not a binary switch like it is for men. And, yes good hygiene which also includes flossing. This latter point, I know some people like to forget, but kissing a dirty mouth is a definite turn off. And, at least for me and my wife, we could literally spend 20 minutes kissing before we even start foreplay. 

Our memory is a strong and if you are treating sex like a sprint rather than a marathon and not giving her time to get up to speed with you, she will likely see no point in being in the mood. Calm down, move slow and give her a memory that she will want to come back for more. Warning, if you do give here that memory, take care of yourself (exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest and take your vitamins if needed) she will want more


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Not sure of her age or if she previously had a higher drive, but DHEA supplements have done wonders for my wife.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

Hicks said:


> to get your wife in the mood, do non sexual things that show her that you love her.


You've hit the nail on the head.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> Not sure of her age or if she previously had a higher drive, but DHEA supplements have done wonders for my wife.


Just make sure you read and understand what is both known and unknown about the use of this supplement

What's the deal with DHEA? | Go Ask Alice!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> If that comes from touching her nipples, what happen if you touch her vajayjay? Do you guys have sex or role play Mortal Kombat scenes?


I don't remember. I usually wake up with a lump on the back of my head and blurred vision when I try. I think it's her finishing move that gets me.

In all seriousness, it's "Hands off the privates, bub!" There's only one part of my body she wants anywhere near her vaj.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Cletus said:


> I don't remember. I usually wake up with a lump on the back of my head and blurred vision when I try. I think it's her finishing move that gets me.
> 
> In all seriousness, it's "Hands off the privates, bub!" There's only one part of my body she wants anywhere near her vaj.


Damn, thats just sad.....There isnt a square millimeter of my wifes body I don't fondle on a regular basis. from a scalp rub to the bottoms of her aching feet, with plenty of attention to the Vag.....


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