# unwanted divorce



## megnorman (Dec 19, 2013)

so my husband and i have been married for one year. we met in the navy almost three years ago. i just ended my service with the navy two months ago in order to be with him and have a family. we have been arguing a lot lately. i blame a lot of it on myself. mostly because i would nag him and not ask for his help with silly things like he dishes or the laundry. i would just wait till i got mad and argue about it. i believe i made him feel bad a lot and i feel horrible about it. now yes, he has done his share of the arguing but i have to live with the way that i act. well two weeks ago he said he wanted a divorce so i went to stay with my parents six hours away thinking that we could use some space. two days after i left he told to come home and pack my stuff up and move out that he wants a divorce and i cant change his mind. he says he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it with no one to answer to. there has been no infedelity in our relationship just petty arguing. now that weve had some time apart i see the things i could do different in our marriage. and i want to respect him more and make him feel better as a man. i just cant imagine living without him. i cant imagine not ever going to bed without him again. this all makes me sick. i cant eat, cant sleep, im so depressed. he has already sent me seperation papers, i just want to make him feel good and hate myself for ever making him feel bad to the point that he wanted a divorce. i know he loves me and he tells me he does, but he says that we just cant make it work. i want to save our marriage. please help


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

He wants you to pack up your stuff and move out of the house and your response is that you just want to make him feel good?

I suggest you move back into the house and tell him if he wants a divorce he can pack up HIS stuff and move out.

Don't make it so easy for him. It won't help your situation at all.


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## Honorbound (Nov 19, 2013)

Hmmm... are you sure there is no infidelity involved? The reason I am asking is, people who still claim to love each other don't usually give absolutes like "I want a divorce and you can't change my mind". Not without _trying_ to fix the issues anyway.

It just seems odd that you left the Navy two months ago and suddenly.... this.

I'd check into it as much as you can, but in the meantime the prescription is the same: Do the 180. Don't argue with him about the divorce, you will just push him further away and cement in his mind that he is making the right decision. Stay calm and work on making yourself happy. Happy people are way more attractive than unhappy ones. Keep exercising regularly, eat right, and find things you enjoy doing that will take your mind off of him. Give him time to miss you. 

I know it is hard... but doing the above will not only make you more attractive to him (which is actually incidental), but will also make you feel better about yourself in case it doesn't work out (the main idea of the 180).


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## Honorbound (Nov 19, 2013)

lenzi said:


> He wants you to pack up your stuff and move out of the house and your response is that you just want to make him feel good?
> 
> I suggest you move back into the house and tell him if he wants a divorce he can pack up HIS stuff and move out.
> 
> Don't make it so easy for him. It won't help your situation at all.


I agree with this too, unless he owned the house before you were married. You don't want him to be able to say that you abandoned the marriage and the property.


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## megnorman (Dec 19, 2013)

ive thought about it and talked to him about it but it just casues more arguing. and i dont want to argue with him anymore..its a lot of why he is divorcing me. i feel like i cant force him to want to stay married.


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## megnorman (Dec 19, 2013)

and yes he owned the house before we got married.


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## Honorbound (Nov 19, 2013)

megnorman said:


> ive thought about it and talked to him about it but it just casues more arguing. and i dont want to argue with him anymore..its a lot of why he is divorcing me. i feel like i cant force him to want to stay married.


You cannot. The only person you can control is you - so be the best one you can be.


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