# Need Some Advice



## Char-leigh's Mum (Mar 30, 2014)

5 weeks ago I found 2 inappropriate text messages from my husband to another woman. I confronted him and he told me its not what it looks like he told me it was a stupid mistake it didn't mean anything to him and he didn't feel anything for her. I also found out that they had meet up twice for lunch in a public place being a roadhouse as he is a truck driver and having late night phone calls, I went through the phone bills and found he had only rang her 4 times in the 4 weeks it had been going on but she was ringing him 4-5 times a day/night but never while he was at home with me. 
I wanted to try and work our marriage out but just cant let go of this emotional affair all the hurt and pain that goes with I'm so insecure. 
Just want some advice on how to forget this and be able to move forward. Counselling is out off the question. 
Please help I'm so confused


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

How can you be sure it didn't get physical? 

Counseling is out of the question? Why?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Char-leigh's Mum (Mar 30, 2014)

He said that it never went any further then messages, phone calls and the lunches she was actually working both times. As for counselling he wont go as he says its not a manly thing and he is only home weekends if that


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

so has your H told her to stop contacting him?

Is he being transparent with his phone?

How would he feel if the roles were reversed?


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Char-leigh's Mum said:


> He said that it never went any further then messages, phone calls and the lunches she was actually working both times. As for counselling he wont go as he says its not a manly thing and he is only home weekends if that


Lunches? In other words, he met her in person? Has he explained to you why he felt the need to meet her?

Yeah, we all know what his intentions where, and that my friend is the real issue. If the texts where just a "stupid mistake" then he crossed the line meeting her - twice. It doesn't much matter if it didn't get physical (yet) because the intent is there. Does he not know this? Does he not know that you know this?

So, does he want to save the marriage, or does he intend to continue seeking out OW?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"It's not what it looks like" 

"She means nothing to me."

Both taken from the Cheater's script.

It is what it looks like and if she meant nothing to him, then he'd not be calling her and taking her for lunch. Now would he?

Hmm. Counselling isn't a manly thing to do, but cheating is? 

Someone has a skewed idea of what being a man means. And it isn't you.

Is OW married? If so, does her husband know what's happening?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Is the other woman married? You should find out - but not from your husband. Do it independently. 

Your husband feels quite entitled - you need to set him straight. If he wants to live a carefree life he needs to set you free and pony up for your years of loyalty. Don't let this slide. 

"spit in your right hand and wish on your left then see which one has collected anything" this saying applies to your sitch. 

steps:
1. demand he block her number
2. find out who her significant other is and expose to that person
3. stay vigilant and have contingency plans


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Your husband is looking for an affair. He is acting highly disrespectful and inappropriate for a married man. 

If your husband does not want to be married, he should not be married and needs to divorce .

Yes, it's that simple . He wants you at be at home taking care of all the other duties that fall on a wife yet his fun time is spent wooing another woman. Why put up with that ? 

He needs a wake up call in the form of divorce papers. 

I know this is what no one wants to hear but it should be done. I'm sick of these a$$holes that play games and destroy other peoples lives. I'm in the mood today to say nuke the bastard. 

Are you financially secure? Do you have children? Is this other woman married?

Call her husband or boyfriend if she is not single. Let his family and friends know what he is up to.

NO ONE deserves this treatment so don't go there in your mind. This behavior is all on him.

Contact a lawyer and find out what your options are. 

I don't trust that this is his first time but that might not matter. He is still out of line.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

If given the choice to go to counseling or lose his stuff, I'm sure he will "man up" and take counseling. 

He has boundary issues if nothing less, and given the nature of his job he has the breeding grounds for taking this further, if he hasn't already.

Tell him his actions have made you insecure, and that it is his job to fix it. And follow through on your actions... now is not the time for empty, idle threats.


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## Char-leigh's Mum (Mar 30, 2014)

As far as I'm aware the OW has left her husband 3 months ago for another man. She lives 3 hours away from us. He has told her not to contact him again and she hasn't until today wanting to know if she could still ring him on the truck phone and I had her number blocked from his personal phone. The lunches where before the text messages were sent. We have 4(8&2 and 35wk Stillborn) kids together and his 13 year old son from a pervious relationship who lives here full time and I have raised as my own for the last 10 years. The suspicion kills me all we have done is fight for 5 weeks as I'm trying to find the reason behind it all only to be told it was a stupid mistake and she is just like one of the boys that I could just talk to mind you she knows the ins and outs of our lives. I kicked him out and he was living in the truck.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

If your H is only home 2 days a week---all year long---your mge has very major problems to begin with

as for your H's attitude about not going to counseling---maybe threatening him with D, might change his attitude-----you are getting bullied, and you are allowing it to happen----time for you to stand up, and tell him how things will be, if he wants to stay married


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I'm trying to find the reason behind it all only to be told it was a stupid mistake and she is just like one of the boys that I could just talk to mind you she knows the ins and outs of our lives. I kicked him out and he was living in the truck.



Tell your husband that he has to go 100% to prove to you that he has stopped this woman from ever contacting him again or he can live in the truck and you will decide what you are going to do for you. They must never again be in contact with each other.


His explanation and actions so far are pathetic. He either makes a decision that you are his one and only or he can live in his truck and talk to the desperate women that have been divorced. Tell him that none of those leech women are going to do anything for his children so he had better choose wisely. *Does he think that his childen will ever choose any of those leeches over you their mother? He is jepordizing the relationship that he has with his children*

Build yourself up so that you do not compromise.


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