# Should i Stay or leave?



## zeen (Jul 19, 2010)

I dont get along with my husbands bro. Indeed i hate him. But my husband has been forcing me to stay with him in the same house. HE stays with us now. In the begining he had been trying to create problems between me adn my husband, trying to mad mouth me to my inlaws and everythign possible. These things have made me become compltely disgusted of him. And now even tho we hardly talk, just his prescence in the house gets onto my nerves. I feel like i hav no privacy. Whatever me and my husband do, it becomes the next headline in the family. And for everything, he butts in. My irritation towards my hubby's bro takes it toll on our marriage. I end up fighting with my hubby and recently, i was sooo pissed of with his bro that i was really rude to him. Not tat he was a saint, indeed he was far from it. And for that, my husband got annoyed at me. Basically, right now the situation is a huge big mess!
and tomorrow my family is coming ot visit us. And im worried if my husband wil take out all the furstration on them. 
What should i do? i hav a good mind to stay away from my husband til he can live alone with me , without his bro. WHich means I would also have to leave my current job relocate to another country , where i would be staying wiht my mother. Would tat be the right thing? coz the current situation seems to be spoiling my marraige. PLs Help!


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I don't know that going to another country and quitting your job is really the way to solve this problem. At first glance, it seems quite extreme. Have you bluntly told your husband that this is too much for you? I don't know if he knows you don't like his brother, and if he doesn't, I don't know that you should tell him that. But to tell him that you feel having the brother living with you two is just too much, it's causing too much stress and tension and you can't handle it anymore, is perfectly reasonable. Just explain to him that you see it causing fights between you and him, and you really feel it would be best if his brother found another place to stay. 

If he insists his brother continue to stay, and you still really feel the need to leave, isn't there anyone closer that you can stay with? A friend or even a co-worker? I think, if your hubby really loves you, it won't take long after you leave for him to realize that he wants you and not his brother. If you're in another country, and have quit your job, that's only going to cause another problem to have to overcome. Heck, if it comes down to it, just stay in a hotel. If he doesn't come after you, then you can reassess and decide if moving to be with your mother is a better solution at that point.


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## zeen (Jul 19, 2010)

I hav told my hubby. He knws i dont like his bro and he knws i hate being in the situation. But stil he wont budge. For him its like some kind of a stubborness or soemthing. And indeed he very clearly told me if im nthappy i can very well stay with my mom but his bro wont leave.


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## downundergal (Jul 17, 2010)

I like the hotel suggestion. You can always move to the other country of he doesn't come and get you in a couple of days!

Perhaps wait and see how things are with your family there. Things might feel more balanced with your support network around you. My sisters are definitely a pain in the butt, and I know they drive people crazy, but they care about me so I can kind of see your husband's side too. He's caught in a difficult place with the both of you living under the same roof.

Is there any chance the brother would move out if you asked him? You could very politely offer to help him find somewhere else to live. If he doesn't take the hint, resort back to the hotel plan!

Good luck.


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## zeen (Jul 19, 2010)

Ive even tried askin his bro politely to not stay with us.. but his bro is nt the nice kind. he love to see me tortured. He lvoes to create trouble.


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## downundergal (Jul 17, 2010)

zeen said:


> He lvoes to create trouble.


That's not a good situation. I would have a chat with my family and get their opinion. Maybe bring your husband along so he can hear, again, how unhappy you are. Meanwhile, plan for an international move, because being tortured is no way to live!


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## zeen (Jul 19, 2010)

I agree.... im leaning on making an international move .. hope tat wil make my hubby re think and realise.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

well, if you've already talked to him, AND you've talked to the brother, then I guess you've already done all I've suggested, and perhaps the international move is the best thing for you.


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