# Why should I #2?



## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Well, in another month or so , I will finally be finished with my STBex, and will be able to move on with my life. I have been seeing another lady and really think that she might be the answer to my prayers. We WERE going to wait until my divorce was final before having sex, but I decided that since there is no possibility of reconciliation, and that we are legally separated, and that my STB-ex knows and understands this, to begin the physical part of our new relationship. For those of you that have followed my story, you know that I have done everything possible for my STB-ex, and way more than most. I have come to the conclusion that I should not be held captive to a dead marriage. She cheated, she has the mental issues, so why do I have to respect a marriage that she threw into the garbage? I did the best I could for her, now it's my time to live.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Enjoy!

You deserve it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Good luck. I married the rebound girl myself and she promised she wouldn't do to me what my first wife did to me. At least she kept that promise for 21 years before history repeated itself.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

I think it is fine. Your wife's infidelity materially breached the contract, thus voiding it in its entirety, IMO.
You should not be bound by vows she , unilaterally broke.
You have no fidelity agreement in effect anymore. You could do this, IMO, even without having gone the extra mile in informing your wife.After all, she did not notify you of her activites, did she?


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Unhappy2011 said:


> Why would you not want to go #2?


Actually, I thought that I named another post, "Why should I", and just named this one "why should I #2", to differentiate.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

WE had a GREAT!!!!!!! night, last night. We went to dinner, then went out on the Potomac in a friend's cabin cruiser, and f**ked our brains out!!! I'm her first black guy, so she was a little nervous at first, but she really warmed to her work. I'm still amazed that I like her so much, I have had other white women before, but as a general rule, I don't find them all that attractive, but with her it is different. She is gorgeous, tanned, and has a figure like a Goddess, but it's her eyes that have me hooked. I swear that she can see into my soul. This morning, she called to tell me that she has never been loved as wonderfully well (her words) as she was last night, and she wants "US", to experience, "nirvana", every time we are together. She's so romantic, giving and caring, and considering how much I've dealt with in the last year, it has been wonderful to be treated like a king, for a change.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Go for it BB mate.
You are a king!

@LMayhem - hope you're doing alright mate.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Enjoy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

"Why should I #2?"

because bowel obstruction is very painful


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Use protection


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh wait. I read your last post just now. LOL. Hope you used protection. Sounds like it was awesome.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Oh wait. I read your last post just now. LOL. Hope you used protection. Sounds like it was awesome.


It wasn't JUST the sex. It was the whole evening, including the conversation in between, during and after. WE wrapped blankets around our selves and took our drinks up on deck and watched the city lights, and just were together. It was so relaxing and peaceful, then it was passionate and hot. It's hard to decribe how wonderful it was to be the center of another person's world, even just for a night.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Wah, you rocked...............

It gives BSs some more hope of happiness for the rest of their life.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Yeah, yeah BB, if you say so


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Guess she isn't going back 

LOL, use that on my cousin all the time, she married a black guy also. Very cool guy and he takes all the jokes we make in stride.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

cheatinghubby said:


> Guess she isn't going back
> 
> LOL, use that on my cousin all the time, she married a black guy also. Very cool guy and he takes all the jokes we make in stride.


Well, to her, "going back", would mean returning to an abusive white guy with a brain smaller than his d**k. Why would she do that, when she has a black guy who will treat her right?


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

It's good to see you coming round BB, such a contrast from those early, horrid days.

All the best mate


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Badblood said:


> Well, to her, "going back", would mean returning to an abusive white guy with a brain smaller than his d**k. Why would she do that, when she has a black guy who will treat her right?


lol, i mean the old line

One you go black, you don't go back. Like I said, we use it on our cousin and her husband alot. It's great that he's such a laid back guy.

BTW, good to hear you're finally doing great again. You're probably one of the few on this board who did more for your ex than anyone else would have if they were leaving their cheating spouse.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

My hero:sleeping:


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

Unhappy2011 said:


> Why would you not want to go #2?


Agreed. You could get backed up and develop serious gastrointestinal problems. Don't let you XW's cheating impact your health in this way.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

cheatinghubby said:


> lol, i mean the old line
> 
> One you go black, you don't go back. Like I said, we use it on our cousin and her husband alot. It's great that he's such a laid back guy.
> 
> BTW, good to hear you're finally doing great again. You're probably one of the few on this board who did more for your ex than anyone else would have if they were leaving their cheating spouse.


Well, CH, my conscience is clear. I did ALL I could for her and have supported her on her long road back to mental health, and will continue to do so even after the divorce. Our relationship will change, but we will still be in contact.


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## ilgitano (Apr 2, 2012)

Wow!... I just read your very first thread. That's a tough one. Walking in that hotel room and all that. I can't even begin to imagine what that must of felt like.

Happy for you and your new girl!


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> "Why should I #2?"
> 
> because bowel obstruction is very painful



:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

wow thanks that gave me a good laugh.. I NEEDED ONE.. ha!!


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Badblood said:


> It wasn't JUST the sex. It was the whole evening, including the conversation in between, during and after. WE wrapped blankets around our selves and took our drinks up on deck and watched the city lights, and just were together. It was so relaxing and peaceful, then it was passionate and hot. It's hard to decribe how wonderful it was to be the center of another person's world, even just for a night.


And that is HOW it should be.... 

"Center of another person's world.." two way street there, you make them and they make you.. AWWW such bliss....

Happy for you.. glad you found somone who is worth every ounce of you inside and out!!!

:smthumbup:


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

BadBlood,

Just because the divorce isn't final in the eyes of the state, you shouldn't feel bad for moving on. As long as you waiting until it was honestly over and irrevocable for you, then you can always look at yourself and know that you gave it every shot without sullying the waters.

New relationships are an amazing thing, and your brain going's make it even more so. So enjoy and savor every moment and new discovery. 

The only advice I hope you heed is to wait a couple years* (at least) before getting engaged again. You need to be mentally clear of the past, process the last 18 years, and give yourself time to reflect on who you are going to be for version 3.0. That can take longer than you realize.

It certainly doesn't mean not to enjoy this new gal, and see just where this relationship can go. But I recommend making a vow to yourself of "Under no circumstances will I remarry before XYZ date which is N years from my divorce being final" and tell any new gals in your life up front that "hey, I spent a lot of years with my ex-, and I'm not going to mentally unwind them overnight and I'm not sure how I am going to turn out. That why I have mad a vow to myself that I would take this time before doing it again, to work on fixing and bettering myself." It doesn't mean any girl you see during that time needs to feel like you are out to play the field all you can, just that you are being careful to do better next time. If she respects you, it should be a non-issue. (Personally I was with my ex- 16/18 years, and I set a no-remarriage time limit of 5 years. I was up front about it, and it was no problem for the woman who is now my fiance.)

What you want to avoid is the classic "rebound too fast" scenario. It's a cliche among men our age for a reason (saw my own brother do this). By setting a self-imposed hard time limit, you make it not about the gal you are with and gives you room to make mistakes and let things evolve past the first 6-months of NRE (New Relationship Energy) and perhaps save yourself from yourself. As I said, if she's the one, she'll stick with you and all that time will be spent growing together.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

No worries, Anubis. Neither of us are going to get married for a long time , if ever. We might decide , in the future, to live together, but doing the deed, isn't on the table. We have both been burnt by unfaithful spouses, and aren't looking to repeat the event.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

Badblood said:


> Well, to her, "going back", would mean returning to an abusive white guy with a brain smaller than his d**k. Why would she do that, when she has a black guy who will treat her right?


Eh, how did race get injected into this? Reverse the race and see if there is a bit of an outcry.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Great to hear you are moving on BB.

How is your STBXW doing anyways? Mentally I mean.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

BigLiam said:


> Eh, how did race get injected into this? Reverse the race and see if there is a bit of an outcry.


Liam, I'm black and CheatingHubby was making a joke. No big deal.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> Great to hear you are moving on BB.
> 
> How is your STBXW doing anyways? Mentally I mean.


Thanks, .45. She is doing much better, now that she is living with her sister (the good one) and being properly medicated. Both of them are moving to the west coast, after our divorce is final, to get away from her toxic family and start over.


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

Your story reminds me of one of my own.
I met a stunning black woman with whom I became romantically involved. We had marathon sex sessions and I was her first Eskimo man. 
She called me constantly, gushing over how all her past black lovers could not measure up to me, in so many ways. She particularly gushed over my intellectual ability, as she had never been satisfied in that regard in her past relationships( although she was also quite impressed with my physique and stamina).
My friends would always ask if I thought she might return to one of her old partners. I 'd tell them, why go back to a dumb black guy whose brain is no bigger than his **** when you have a great Eskimo to take care of all your needs.

Black chicks, they just cannot seem to resist us Eskimos.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

BigLiam said:


> I 'd tell them, why go back to a dumb black guy whose brain is no bigger than his ****



so the moral of the story

Eskimos are racist?


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

Possibly.

You know the old saying: "Once you go Eskimo, there's no mo fo the bro",


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