# If you were born in the 60s ...



## Render (Apr 18, 2010)

I'm 41. My husband is younger than me. 

I'm not officially a baby boomer, I guess I'm generation X. Regardless, with hippie parents who are baby boomers, I was raised in an extremely progressive, open minded household. 

My husband claims because I was born in 68, I am automatically close minded. This is because I don't want him looking at dating/marriage/escort sites online. 

I already talked to him about the 60s being one of the most open, progressive decades of US history, and that the youth of that generation essentially changed much of society with revolutionary ideas, including civil rights, equal rights, new views on war and sexual liberty, and a far more open culture than ever before. 

My husband has been obsessed lately with labeling people by their "generational" identification, every since we talked about what marriages were like in the 50s. I think maybe he is threatened by the fact that his wife, an older woman, is actually more open minded than him. 

Or maybe he's changing his mind about being married to an older woman, although when he looks at these dating, marriage, and escort sites, he continues to look at women of my age and similar in appearance to me. 

I do think he has a fantasy that if he were married to a women who was 20 or 30, she would have no objection to his "window shopping" online. I told him that any women who respected herself would not want her husband doing this, particularly when she is sexually available to him and open to him looking at pornography already. 

Quite frankly, I have no idea what he is doing. He makes statements without supporting them with logic or reason, and throws labels about, like this new "21st century guy" kick he is on. 

As I said, pornography is okay, but not dating/marriage/escort sites. Those are all pretty much guaranteed avenues to eventual infidelity.

I'm ready to leave him if he doesn't open up, be honest, and commit to improving our sex life and communication, as well as stop spending time on these inappropriate sites.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

He's trying to use the generation thing as an excuse. This isn't about age, but about respect.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Your husband is laying a load of crap on you. You didn't say how old HE is. Are we talking a five year difference? 10 years?

I've met open minded 70 year olds who are a blast to be with and boring, close minded 30 year olds. In any case, the year you are born has no bearing on your state of mind. As it turns out I relate better to 20/30 somethings then I do to people my own age (mid-40s). I find most people my age are well, just boring to me. *shrug*. I often find myself wondering what happened to "my generation" somewhere in their 30s. Did they fall on their heads and forget how to have fun? :scratchhead: I don't even know what generation I belong to. Somewhere between Boomer and "X" I suppose. Does it really matter in the end?  

I'm not getting where your husband is coming from. Is he using this odd rationale of you being close minded as a result of your chronological age because you aren't approving of him checking out other women online? What I see is that he's looking for an excuse to "shop around" and is looking to somehow "guilt" you into giving him the OK to do so. How very clever of him! I gotta give him points for ingenuity. 

But a line of B.S. is still that. I don't care how old a woman is, most would have a problem with their husband checking out other women online. I'm about as open minded as they come but I wouldn't be down with my husband checking out other women online either. I'd tell him to cut the crap and come clean on what he really wants.


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## Render (Apr 18, 2010)

He says he's a modern guy and he expected me to open to him looking at these sites, which, since I don't, makes me old fashioned. I told him modern guys are more caring, more sensitive, more feminist, more egalitarian, and more in touch with their feminine side, thus better husbands. I told him he's the one who is living in the past, not me - that modern women demand respect and equality, and that if he wants a woman who demands nothing and puts up with everything, he should go back to an era when women were completely dependent on men, and thus could not demand their rights. You are correct, this is BS. I'm still waiting for ONE woman to say, "Oh but I'm open minded, so of course I would FULLY SUPPORT my husband window shopping other women on dating, matrimonial, and escort sites. What woman wouldn't?" Is he insane?


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Render said:


> He says he's a modern guy and he expected me to open to him looking at these sites, which, since I don't, makes me old fashioned.


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: He's quite the clever one, isn't he? That's too much...



> I told him modern guys are more caring, more sensitive, more feminist, more egalitarian, and more in touch with their feminine side, thus better husbands. I told him he's the one who is living in the past, not me - that modern women demand respect and equality, and that if he wants a woman who demands nothing and puts up with everything, he should go back to an era when women were completely dependent on men, and thus could not demand their rights.


:iagree: Good answer and completely correct. He just wants you to be a good girl and go over there and pretend not to notice him checking out chicks on Match.com.. 



> I'm still waiting for ONE woman to say, "Oh but I'm open minded, so of course I would FULLY SUPPORT my husband window shopping other women on dating, matrimonial, and escort sites.


:lol: :lol: Well, you won't find that one woman in me. :BoomSmilie_anim: I'd be yanking the computer router out of the wall and smacking the keyboard upside his ignorant head all the time saying "Do you know what 'WTF' means dude?" :wtf: 

Trust me, he doesn't want a "modern" woman, he wants a stupid one. 

Oh, so how much younger than you IS he? Inquiring minds want to know.


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

Render, I just got done responding to your post in the "general" section..... I'm with you here! I to was born in 68 and in no way would I approve of my man going to dating sites. Actually my SO and I met on a dating site, when we were dating we kept our accounts active because we took advantage of the free instant messaging but once he moved in we agreed that we were both deleting our profiles, I didn't have to convince him and he didn't have to convince me. BTW he is almost 3 years younger than me, Im thinking there is a bigger age difference between you and H. 

You mentioned a discussion about marriages of the 50's..... it sounds like thats what he wants. The submissive house-wifey that will take his word as gospel and will lay down and roll over at his whim.

Stay strong in your beliefs, his is the warped one... I dont know a woman of ANY generation that would condone what he wants to do!!!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What a load of crap.

He just wants to be given a free pass to have sex with as many women as he wants. 

Gag me.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

He is completely wrong on several accounts. Baby boomers were born between 1945 and 1964--you are definitely NOT a boomer. Tell him to look it up online, or to trust the American historian with a phd who is telling him he is wrong. 

He seems to be trying to tell you he wants an open marriage and/or a threesome with an African-American woman. Honestly, doesn't he have the balls to just say what he wants and let the chips fall where they may? He has no right to criticize you for having your boundaries. He can take 'em or leave 'em, but he cannot convince you or anyone else that you are wrong for having them.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

I agree with sisters.. He's making excuses and turning his unacceptable behavior around on you. What an immature moron.

btw... haha Im from 63 and if you read any of my posts you'll see im far from closed minded. Not that this has anything to do with anything.

I think you should let it go. But do it in style. Start going out, bring a man home once in a while and tell that Pr*K to be "open minded" and sleep on the couch while you tend to your man friend. See if THAT changes his mind on your "openess"


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

ha, vino, I almost said the same thing. But tit-for-tat is rather immature, too. Unless she really wants an open marriage. I think her hubby would jump on that--and if it isn't what she really wants, then she's made things worse for herself.

Unless, OP, you find some really hot guy who is way more sexually satisfying than your h. Then it is a win-win, I guess!


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

sisters359 said:


> ha, vino, I almost said the same thing. But tit-for-tat is rather immature, too. Unless she really wants an open marriage. I think her hubby would jump on that--and if it isn't what she really wants, then she's made things worse for herself.
> 
> Unless, OP, you find some really hot guy who is way more sexually satisfying than your h. Then it is a win-win, I guess!


Just for clarification....I didn't imply open marriage. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

The 1960's were progressive because they were new and radical. It was never considered before. A concept that hadn't been explored. It stood for tolerance of all people no matter their color, sex or sexual identification. 
A man wanting other women isn't progressive, new or radical. It is tired and old. There is nothing progressive about it. You know what is? A man who is faithful, loving, willing to participate in all the child rearing and a man who supports his wife's career. That is progressive and open minded.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

Men cheated in ancient times, middle ages and modern times and will continue cheating until the end of time. 

And to this day they're able to hide things and trick us into thinking what they're doing is acceptable behavior like pros and we're foolish enough to believe them. 

And God forbid we don't buy their crap, because then it's our fault and we're the crazy narrow minded emotional ones always exaggerating and overreacting.

And if more women cheat nowadays, it's because we learned from the best. 

Amazing species.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

No, vino, you didn't--but I think the h did--that's what he's hinting at, IMO.


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## Q*bert (Mar 30, 2010)

Render said:


> My husband claims because I was born in 68, I am automatically close minded. This is because I don't want him looking at dating/marriage/escort sites online.


_Pfffft _on him. He's just looking for an excuse!!! 

I'm your age, and am going back to college now. I am shocked at how closed minded younger people are compared to me! Gen X-ers are a tough bunch. We missed out on the carefree fun of the 70's, and got stuck with disco-hangover and the threat of AIDS in the 80's, and recession in the 90's. All this while being told by the boomers that we were second-rate slackers. We are smart from experience, because we had to be.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Holy crap! Were the '80s really that bad? :scratchhead: I remember having a pretty good time. I'm just glad I didn't have to put up with Disco. By the time I came of age it was dead. Thank goodness for Punk, New Wave and Grunge! :smthumbup:


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

The 80's had it moments... good, bad and VERY ugly! lol Oh how I long for 80's hair to come back..... I can do big hair with a vengence!!! Im thinking disco was more of a late 70's, early 80's thing though. By mid- 80's the hair bands became popular.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I used to have big hair. It was permed and moussed and all that. I show my daughter pics of my wedding (I got married in '89) and she said "Omigosh you really did look '80s!" It's amazing how much different I looked back then. 

Recently my daughter went to an '80s theme party. I gave her some of my old clothes (I don't throw much away, although the REALLY good stuff is gone as of a few years ago). She had the honor of wearing actual vintage '80s clothing..spandex black leggings, the off the shoulder long shirt with the funky belt and crazy earrings. We were actually able to find leg warmers (seems they've come back). Unfortunately she has bigger feet then me but I had a great set of boots she could've worn too!  She waved up and moussed her hair and my husband couldn't believe how much she looked like me. He said it was eerie. 

The only thing I'd like to see come back is shoulder pads. Maybe not as big though but they were pretty cool. I actually like today's clothes styles a lot. I love the off the hip look and the ripped and distressed jeans. 

In fact, a LOT of clothes today are very "'80s" if you like are into the punk scene. Tight skinny jeans in different colors, black clothes with studs and chains all started from the punk scene in the late 70s/80. Now it's all part of my wardrobe. My closet today looks a lot like it did back in college. Better because I have money and can buy some really cool stuff! I wear a set of red acid washed jeans and grey skinny jeans that are EXACTLY like ones I wore back in college. My daughter and I shop in the same stores now that I'm back down to my college weight. It's a blast. 

As for music, that's a huge topic of mine but basically as I recall (in my world, which is the New York metro area) disco was dead by '80-81 and punk/new wave was on the scene. I went to college in NYC and punk/new wave was what I partied too. Later in the '90s it became alternative/grunge. I was never really into the "hair" bands or stuff like Michael Jackson. 

I guess everyone's generational experience different. I'm amazed at the current '80s revival that is going on. I find it vastly amusing to see younger people dancing to and knowing the lyrics to songs that I grew up with. My daughter is always amazed at just how much stuff I have in my music collection that she and her friends she likes. She's always downloading my CDs and I do the same with hers. It's an interesting world, isn't it?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

isnt this a "marriage" site your on?


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Oh yeah but this is some major "thread drift". What can I say? Guilty as charged.


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## silk-butterfly (Apr 10, 2010)

A good diversion though. I have to say I`m in the same position with my daughter.It`s brought us much closer and because I know all the songs she asks me about she thinks I`m hip now!!

If he want`s you to be so modern act it I say.I bet you doing the same thing or more so by saying you are thinking of having a threesome (him not included) isn`t going to go down so well.What does he think anything goes nowadays or is just for males. What`s good for the goose is good for the gander nowadays. Lets see him have his fair share of his so called modernism.

This is an easy one you can outsmart him easily.This is a proggresive era for women not for men. If he wants it let him have it.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I think she wound up leaving the jerk. She mentioned doing so in other threads. Hopefully it'll all work out for her. 

With regards to music..I also raid my daughter's compact discs for downloading onto my Ipod. We go to a lot of the same concerts too.


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