# I just need help and have no one to go to!



## marriedtooyoung (Jul 20, 2010)

Hello, I am a 22 yr old female and I am having trouble with my marriage big time. I don't know what to do. The sad thing is that I can't even talk to my mother about it! I have never turned to a forum about marriage before. 

The problem is that I just don't love him any more

I know that this is a problem that a lot of girls have but this is the guy that I chased around for 2.5 years while he was with other girls and was always THE OTHER GIRL! We got married when we were 19 after the one month anniversary of our 17 week old miscarriage. *Yeah, we joked around about us hurrying up the marriage so we could be declared independent for financial aid, but I at least know that I was in love with him. * However, we both thought about running. Then about four months later we moved from a small town to Sacramento CA and started a new life there. Come to find out he never really let that one online girl go. He still talked to her and even had our mutual best friend and had him keep her number and when ever I was at work and my husband was hanging out with our bf then he was talking to her. Well that was the time in our marriage that he wasn't sure if this is what he wanted. 

We later moved back to our little town and after about 2 months separated. During the time we were separated he was still staying with my cousin and her husband (of which I had moved out of). Later to find that he had slept with her twice and I later forgave both of them for (even though I don't talk to her anymore) and we reconciled. 

From then promises were made and kept for about 4 months and then things started to go back to normal.When he was being lazy, I was working and he wouldn't even kiss me when I came home from work. At this time we were living with roommates and so I figured I would try one last thing and that was to get our own apartment and things were going great, until it wasn't. WE HAD A THREE SOME. Awesome, yes it was! I enjoyed it very much, but after that I wanted to experiment with other guys and started to feel like he wasn't good enough for me. 

Now we have a 2 bedroom house with my husband's 15 yr old brother, friends of the family 3 of them and our best friend! Every night, I dream of other guys and every time we have sex, I think of other people! I don't understand what is wrong. I am sorry this took so long to write out! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP?


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## marriedtooyoung (Jul 20, 2010)

I see that people keep viewing but I really need some advise.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

Well, the old saying "be careful what you wish for..." comes to mind here. I think, initially, the thrill of the chase is what had you interested. Once you got him, it wasn't as great as you'd built it up to be.

I don't really know what to tell you here. Bottem line is, if you want to be with other people, then you end it with your husband.


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## MyDog8em (Apr 5, 2010)

I have to agree with Scarlet, unless 3somes/swinging is a life style that you and your husband can become accustomed to.


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## marriedtooyoung (Jul 20, 2010)

Its not even that we have come accustomed to it. It is more like I want to be with a different man. See, I grew up in a higher society and he in a low/poverty lower class and he is not on a road to ever better himself and I know that I deserve better. I never wanted to think that the class thing is what would have ended our marriage but a this point he wont get out of the lazyness and the mooching.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

marriedtooyoung said:


> See, I grew up in a higher society and he in a low/poverty lower class and he is not on a road to ever better himself and I know that I deserve better.


What do you mean you deserve better? No one deserves a single thing in this life. There are things you earn, things you work for and things you strive for. But to expect that you deserve it? 

Or maybe it was just a poor choice of words on your part and I'm being too critical of you. Since I cannot gauge your initial intent behind your post it's hard for me to gauge.


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## randomperson (Jul 13, 2010)

Leave him, get divorced, move far away and start over. Go experience life for yourself, learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself. Then, after all that, maybe you will find someone you can stay happy with.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

The old story of the good girl chasing the bad boy cuz he was soooooo hoooooottttttt!

Once the good girl gets the bad boy, a light bulb goes off in her head and she can't find a reason as to why she ever wanted to be with him.

Cut your losses and run like the wind. Get your life back together before you even start talking of anymore LTRs. Date around 1st and see what's out there, you're young.

I have too many friends (the bad boys) who are still with these great girls that work 2 weekly jobs and on weekends too, while my loser friend stays home watching TV, going out with the boys, etc...

I feel real bad for these girls and these guys were friends of mine since High School. Yes, I hardly see or stay in touch with those guys since I don't like the way they treat people around them. In high school and college, we were young so whatever. But in our late 30s and they're still acting like teens, sigh....

Don't get caught up in that situation, unless you see a potential for change. Cuz I have other friends that have turned their life around and they have a great family and decent jobs and are happy.

BTW, wear protection or go on the pill if you're still sleeping with your husband, having a kid right now for you both = very, very bad choice.


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## marriedtooyoung (Jul 20, 2010)

We have been using protection. I totally agree that having a kid right now would not be a good choice at all. Thank you for the advise!


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