# Emotional Affair and Divorce



## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Well,

After an emotional affair with another man my wife began to see problems in our marriage. The problems became an excuse to continue the affair. I would got trough a lot of emotions and, eventually, we would divorce. Reading this will offer some warnings signs to others. 

The first signs began many months early. She started, for the first time in two decades, to openly complain about me to my face. She would make negative remarks about our marriage. Prior, our marriage and our dating had always been great times. We were happy together, very much so. But, my old bad habits she had accepted suddenly became targets for her complaints and her criticism as did our marriage itself. She shifted the blame for her affair onto me. If not for these faults this affair would never happened. 

Sex turned into an act we did in one place and only on weekends. She went through the motions without much passion or interest, yet, she would still orgasm. So, I felt routine, but still enjoyable. However, many of the small signs of affection stopped happening, nightly hugs, sitting I my lap, morning kisses, romantic emails and I got nothing special for my birthday, no cake, no card, nothing. She started working out intensely to make her body look better. 

I guess I did not see these signs and the emotional affair continued on until it reached a climax, she got upset over an issue but the issue did not get resolved with comforting as before, shortly thereafter, she disappeared and moved out and allegedly into the home of a friend of hers. Then for some period, she claimed those criticisms and complaints were the reasons for her moving out. However, eventually I learned moving out was a safe way to spend more time with the other person without losing me.

During this separation I became confused. I actually believed she left for those reasons and tried to work on them. This was my period of confusion. I did this up until I fully understood she was having an emotional affair and putting blame for it on me. Often she would claim to be doing things with other people, anyone whose name she could remember. But, in truth she was doing these things with the other person. Over time she would reveal this more and more. Who she really was spending time with. 

I got three letters from her stating "she loves me, but she is not in love with me anymore" and we "don't belong together". This was a surprise. We had been together nearly two decades. The second letter asked for a divorce. Which I reluctantly obliged and started. She shifted the burden of the divorce onto me too. Again, the letters mixed affair thoughts with those criticisms and complaints. She is not in love with me anymore because I don't put the toilet seat down. 

She even called me and told me how wonderful he was and how I would like him. She went on about fanciful thoughts about the unknown future with him she had. They might get married. They might have children. They might have sex that night after a party they were going to. This phone call really happened. As for children with me she said, "maybe I didn't want to have children, because I didn't want to have your children."

Emotionally, the first few days I hit a grief maximum. I really felt a pain of loss. She was not coming home. This gradually moved into sadness. The sadness was there during the confusion period when the blame was put on me and I was left to discover the emotional affair. And throughout I tried to bargain with her. Even agreeing to let the affair continue if she came back. Ultimately, I tired being blamed and criticized even after I stopped doing what she originally criticized me for. 

One dat I realized I could never trust anything she said. It was then I knew our relationship was over. Never would she answer my call, my text or be dependable to do what she said she would do. Throughout this, she was two people, a person with him and a person with me, and they would each do and say something different. She was really confused. 

To affect the divorce. After all it was now me divorcing the person that left me. I had to get into the reason for the divorce. That is how I came to know what I write today. Read it for your own benefit. I hope my situation helps you understand your situation clearly when you suddenly find yourself and your marriage being criticized by a confused woman who needs more time away from you, but wants you to still be there. 

She is having an AFFAIR. The worst type of affair, an emotional affair.

Now, after the fact, I would say the worst part is recurring memories. You spend decades with another person. You do thousands of things together and have thousands of experiences together, and when they leave. Whether you want them to or not those memories creep into you mind and sadness follows. I get restless and become unable to sleep. I wonder how she can do it. Too, she would have all the memories.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Sorry to hear.
I just finished reading "mindful attraction plan" and he says in the hundreds of people he consults... he never found a husband that suspected marriage problems until it was too late (cheating, or divorce papers)

I might even suggest reading that book yourself... It will improve your life for any new partners, etc.....

Join a gym and start exercising.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

She sounds like a coward of the worst kind!

Once they start to exercise, and living else where it's on to a full blown affair.

Stay strong.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I don't know why you insist on calling this an emotional affair. It is a full blown affair. Of course, she thinks she is in love with him and that you are really bad. That's how she justifies her despicable behaviour. But make no mistake, they have been having sex and plenty of it. Having sex after the show or party is just for you, she has already been having sex.

She is gone and the sooner you realise that you dodged a bullet the better. And if she tells you how nice he is, tell her "yeah, he sounds like a prince of a guy, ****ing other men's wives!"


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

After two decades she cares a lot about me and is willing to support me financially while I get my life going again. I lived at home and took care of her for a long time. Should I accept this from her, financial assistance? Any thoughts? 

She will do the see you when I want to see you while she keeps carrying on with her new love interest. Has anyone experienced this before? Any thoughts on the pros and cons of this financial arrangement? 

For me, it feels an emotional roller coaster at times. I call it am emotional affair because its not a sexual affair. The primary attraction is emotional, not sexual. 

I may just go along with it because I really have no place else to go, no one else to help me. And I can use the assistance to bet my life moving forward again and to have time to think through my personal issues.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

LostAndy said:


> After two decades she cares a lot about me and is willing to support me financially while I get my life going again. I lived at home and took care of her for a long time. Should I accept this from her, financial assistance? Any thoughts?


If you were a man with an ounce of pride I would say NO! Hell, no..

But that is not you. You are a nice man and a nice guy. 

So, yes, let her finance your recovery. You need help.....
And that is OK!....for now.

Your Nice Guy Suit is your most valuable possession. 
Remember, though, that suit is what brought you here, to this painful conclusion.

The suit is too tight. It squeezes off your nuts. Limits your movement, limits your stature, keeping you bent over..
It not only cuts off your circulation, it cuts off your flash and pizzazz. It made you look weak in your wife's eyes.

She got bored with you, simple as that. She should not done what she did. She should have 'simply' given you a time line, telling you that she wants out of the marriage. Gave you an ample heads up. And then filed for divorce. Not seeking another man until her divorce was final.

This women, your soon to be ex wife, is not totally evil. She knows that she is in the wrong, hence helping you [to] get back on your feet. 

It is how she got to this point in her life that is wrong. She made too many "YOU TURNS". Wronged you, 'you' turns. 

Take the money and run.

Become an independent man, not needing any sort of crutch, not using any woman as a crutch. 

Stand on your own, henceforth. Stand tall.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So were you a stay at home dad?


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

If they start having sex, which it seems like they did. Its an affair. Period.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

I in no way mean any offense by this but in all my years I've never seen a man respond to be cheating on in a weaker way than this. If you had brought the hammer down from day one she'd have been groveling at your feet begging you to take her back by now. What your very weak response to the cheating did was convince her she was making the right choice to treat you this way. Please don't take offense to that, I'd rather it be a warning cry to any other men to NEVER allow yourself to be treated like this.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

VermiciousKnid said:


> I in no way mean any offense by this but in all my years I've never seen a man respond to be cheating on in a weaker way than this. If you had brought the hammer down from day one she'd have been groveling at your feet begging you to take her back by now. What your very weak response to the cheating did was convince her she was making the right choice to treat you this way. Please don't take offense to that, I'd rather it be a warning cry to any other men to NEVER allow yourself to be treated like this.


What should I have done? Really? Her method of solution is to disappear and then send a note explaining why she disappeared. The guy, I never met him. Where he lives, who knows. I mean it is an emotional event. 

After two decades there are a lot of feelings more than say if it had been a much shorter relationship. I thought we had trust and that all of our experiences together had created a strong lifelong bond between us. This was a big surprise and took four months to sort out. In month three I found out there was another guy. 

Mostly one spends a lot of time wondering if the criticisms are real or just blame shifting. My point for others, criticisms are a form of blame shifting, be warned.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

sokillme said:


> So were you a stay at home dad?


Yes, I retired and took on household responsibilities while she neared retirement. We are fairly young. I had earned enough and she was, behind me, building up a savings to for our retirement.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

I am a couple weeks from leaving, so, life is slow now and not as happy as it might be when I am gone. We are finishing up paperwork. She said she will cover half my expenses, but will she do it if I choose to live in another state. Just what was the reason for that offer, to keep me around for tormenting? 

In a way I suspect she is intending to carry on with me after the divorce without the other guy knowing. Meeting me for sex mostly to do things she may only want to do with me, odd experimental things, I guess. If dating were easier here I might be less stressed by all this. Or if she were ugly I might feel relieved to be free. But, she, even at her age, is attractive.

So I lost a good partner and spend nights alone now. She left almost all of her clothes and her things.

She said she was going through a midlife crises. That's what she said. She thought it best for is to divorce. I mean its been one thing one day, and the opposite thing the next. I think leaving the area is my best option and starting my life over someplace else where I want to live will bring me happiness.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

So you made enough money to retire early yet you need money ? How does this work? She is building a retirement fund too ? All very confusing.
You say you are both young yet you retired early because you could ? But she couldn't ? Don't really understand any of this.

And she didn't want kids before but now she does but not with you? Presumably you didn't want kids too or did you both disagree on that ?

So here is what you need to do and understand.

YOU DODGED A MASSIVE BULLET! No kids! At this moment in time she is working and you are not! She could end up paying you alimony. Do not accept any "favours" from her but do take the alimony. No doubt she will try and take half of whatever you guys have saved up.

Kick her to the kerb and file for divorce after consulting an attorney. Yes take as much from her financially as you can. Then have no contact with her at all. If you need to, get a job! Be completely independent of her. Tell everyone you know the truth. She is NOT a good person - right now she is the enemy. See what your lawyer says. And get a good lawyer (=shark). Consult with as many of the good ones as possible so that she cannot use them.

Only a psycho would call their husband up and tell him that they might have sex with their POSOM that night after a party! Incredible!

Bag all of her stuff and give her a deadline to come get them. Then put it out the door. Change the locks etc.

And no sex with her. In fact, no contact whatsoever. Do not respond to anything unless it has to do with alimony, finance or divorce. And then too, short answers only.

Do the 180 to get peace of mind and repair yourself mentally. Hit the gym and get yourself into shape. Dress well, new haircut etc. Make it visibly known that you have moved on. Heal yourself.

And when you are ready, hit the dating scene. Do not act like you are helpless and suffering and certainly no "seeing her" when she wants. Grow your balls back, man.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

What can you do about her behavior ypu say? 

Plenty! 

Stand up for yourself brother, stop talking to her, comes to mind! 
Research 180 and apply, answer her via text, and email only and when you do answer coldly strictly business.

I was treated horribly by the mother of my two children almost 20 years ago, at first i was confuse it killed me I wasn't going to be there for my kids fulltime, but I'm put my big boy pants and stop talkinh to her. She tried to get me back, she negotiate with threesomes, me having other gf, etc..i said hell no!

Do not let anyone treat you poorly, never! Both my kids know I do not take S..., and they call me all about relationship ans how to go about them.

Go out and start weight lifting or running you'll start clearing your head quickly!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Suspicious1 said:


> What can you do about her behavior ypu say?
> 
> Plenty!
> 
> ...


Well, I have had to take a lot of bad. The paperwork, she should sign soon. She was worried about alimony, but agrees to a split by whose money is whose. Only when signed will I finally believe it, soon, very soon, any day now. 

For my own happiness, after signing I intend to leave, buy a car, pack a bag and go on with my life where I intended to go before all this happened. Mostly it think, she does what she does, supports me financially, to know where I am, so she can find me. She also gave me a cell phone and pays my bill, so, we can have those talks. 

It bas been difficult because for two decades we were apart less than a couple months in total and it was happy times. Adjusting to being alone has been very difficult. And she did this when I had no job, no friends and bad been pretty much doing house chores while she worked and supporting her. She walked from one relationship into another and feels no loss. 

She goes on with a "friends forever" talk and maybe she'll come back. That she's going through something. You know, I am tired of hearing it. But, I have to listen to get through the divorce, even that call. I know she has fear. Making relationships is hard. If she loses her new one, then she will be like me having to face the world alone.

Once signed, I am free. I think she has been pushing that off too. She does everything to keep me as long as she can to be as certain as she can about this new relationship before I part with her. It is all rather cowardly, running away and doing this. But, I have come to know that virtually EVERYONE goes through the difficulty of having to be alone later in life.

She will get her turn. She was not wise enough to see why I was so good for so long and why I tried, despite her, to reconcile this relationship, because, everyone will after it ends feel pain.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

My marriage is over. I know it. What I came to understand makes me feel worse not better. A lot can be said about just never seeing or knowing your ex ever again. It is better to not know than to get stuck thinking about them. Pretty much the divorce has gone on eight weeks since I first contacted the attorney. 

She has returned to me twice over this period. And its been divorce, no divorce and so on back and forth the entire time. She cries when we talk. But, without doubt she is carrying on another new, and to her, better life without me. I am kept stuck in the background for as long as possible. Even the support me financially thing, one night no, next day yes. 

She contacts me from work. So come Monday she will call. After all she hasn't seen me all weekend long. Regrettably, dating in the USA is not easy and people tend to cling to each other for any reason. Even this guy, if he doesn't love her will cling desperately for sex. Lose her, no sex, and she will cling to not be alone. Life can get all messed up here. 

She has been living another alternative life without me. The difficulty is she is slow to sign. My attorney is being gentle to get her to be served and to sign at one time, then it is done. My heart is broken, no doubt and I can at times feel very sad. Worse still is this having nothing to do. I don't work.

I think to learn to fly. That might be fun. And I know there are other people who also do not want to be alone out there. They too are looking for me. It's not the end of the world, just an ugly emotional time for me. After all it was two decades we spent together. 

She would rather go for excitement over commitment and security. She already said that.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Filing in the hours of the day is hard after separation. Leaving feels the best thing to do. Start over someplace anew. Just need those papers signed. I am hesitant to open a bank account or buy a car until then. But, if it keeps on keeping on without signing. I think she will sign Monday. 

Then, I must go, leave this place, and take a long, long across country drive to clear my head to a beach where I can think about better things, sun and sand. I'm not sure if I should stick it out and stay here, or do what I said.

Mostly I think ending contact with her and just moving on is best. She, who has found a fill in for me before leaving, feels more in control. Staying means getting the **** end of the stick. I could meet other girls. But, maybe it would be better someplace not near her.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Like I said, she struck when I was weakest, no friends, no job and very dependent on her. Makes me think she really hated me for a long, long time. If not me, my indirect control over her life. For so many years, 18 years, she was very dependent on me for money, for everything. I never took advantage of this. 

I was good to her and never cheated. Encouraged her to get work and get the very career she has today. I was fully supportive of her and helped her to start saving for retirement. She built up her own financial security through me. 

But, in her heart she must have resented me and my position in our household. For as soon as she could, she pretty much took off with the first guy to come along after getting the beginnings of a career. I have passed on at least twenty solid opportunities over the course of my marriage. 

She stabbed me right in the back as soon as she could. She does feel a noble attitude towards matters with me. I need to prove herself to be a gold person with a noble attitude. This is what I mean by not feeling good due to sticking around. Me feelings get worse. The waffling on divorce and staying together just adds to it. Keeps the pain alive.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

First sorry to hear you are going thru this. 
Second -Take the money make sure it is in writing!!
She may be making this offer to avoid higher alimony.
Talk with your lawyer about this.
Third- I hope that you realize you will be better off in the
long run with out this person. She sounds like coward, loser,
and a user. She used you until she found someone else to use.
She will no doubt use him to. That is his problem now and if she is
still trying to stay in contact with you (for what ever) it sounds like he 
has a big problem. Getaway and work on yourself. When you realize
(you will) that you are better off with out her, and she wants to come and see
you for a weekend or something let her. Then make sure he knows about it.
Then have nothing else to do with her. Even if he dumps her and she comes
crawling back to you. I am sorry I made a mistake, I had a midlife crisis, I still
love you etc.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

sa58 said:


> First sorry to hear you are going thru this.
> Second -Take the money make sure it is in writing!!
> She may be making this offer to avoid higher alimony.
> Talk with your lawyer about this.
> ...


Thanks, finally I seem more in my mind today. She has been carrying on an affair for seven months. Nothing she has said to me about me was true, just her shifting the blame onto me for her actions. Once she signs I am gone. Everything I thought was correct. 

Still don't understand the financial assistance. She says she is there to help me and wants me to be happy. I don't know what that means. This makes it sound like I am crazy or something. I may or may not take it. 

She did mention her alimony concern once. She worried it would be in the divorce. I said no. We would stay to our agreement to divide by whose money is whose money. She doesn't want money she just wants to leave and be happy, so she says. 

But, it is just stupid to carry on with this anymore than leaving when she is having an emotional and sexual relations with another guy. She has told me for two Fridays about how she will spend the weekend, Friday night, Saturday and Sunday with him and what they will be doing. I suppose she is trying to put me off. To get me to leave. Before she made up imaginary friends and events. The truth has been slow coming.

I'm not happy about it, but she needs to sign. Once she signs, then the advantage shifts to me. As it is I am tethered to this problem. It's hard to believe how happy we were not too long ago. I cannot see this working out well for her.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

I should add the lease is up this month. She's taken nothing of hers from this place. She's been here a few times. All her clothes, all of her possessions, her stuff, are still here. Of course, without a job, getting a rental on my own would be difficult.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

sa58 said:


> First sorry to hear you are going thru this.
> Second -Take the money make sure it is in writing!!
> She may be making this offer to avoid higher alimony.
> Talk with your lawyer about this.
> ...


Actually, I thought to stick around to torment him. She has had sex with me. She says she will not, but she does. Right now, she seems to want me on phone silence, no calling and no texting, email only. Easy enough, I deleted her new cell number. Mostly, she talks to me from work when at work. So, this guy must be going nuts trying to spend all his time and effort to know where she is at all times. 

It's so stupid. Dumb ass seems not to realize I have been having sex with her since she was eighteen. We've have sex 5,000 times or more. I think to offer him my old underwear too. Good news, never has she been tighter. If not from what she said during sex, enticing to commit sex talk, I thought she hadn't had sex at all. 

We will see. It's day by day. More and more, I seem better in control of my feelings over this. I cannot say 100%, but I feel more me everyday.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It doesn't matter anymore to your life if it works out well for her or not. Be thankful you do not have children to tether you to her. You can go and be free to start anew. Focus now on your future without her.

I feel for you. I am going through something similar and I felt completely destroyed by it for a while. I keep going through the motions of moving on, laying down the plans so I can have a life once I manage to reach the other side. It takes time to heal.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

breeze said:


> It doesn't matter anymore to your life if it works out well for her or not. Be thankful you do not have children to tether you to her. You can go and be free to start anew. Focus now on your future without her.
> 
> I feel for you. I am going through something similar and I felt completely destroyed by it for a while. I keep going through the motions of moving on, laying down the plans so I can have a life once I manage to reach the other side. It takes time to heal.


Thanks. The ugly truth is, once she met him, once they started building a relationship, as this progressed she withdrew from us and started finding faults in me and our marriage. I guess the example that stood out most was I am unfriendly. Never bothered her, then it became an issue. When I stopped being unfriendly, easy enough, then it was something else.

This is how it slowly came down to her talking about him. As I easily changed criticized behaviors--there were only two, there became nothing to criticize. Then she openly said she was making comparisons about how she felt. The result, she did not feel as strong a feeling for me as she did before. Finally, talking about him became a new way to push me away. 

And she started encouraging me to make friends and reconnect with family.

Now, still I sweat through the night. And I have been unable to get a good night sleep. It gets better. So, I write this. Yes, her life is not my concern anymore. I agree. I got stuck in in her life because she made me divorce her. I hope up until the end she will change her mind, not likely. And sit in standby for when she does finally sign. It marks a book end for me. 

I will be honest. I have asked her not to sign when I feel she is reluctant to sign. She gets reluctant to sign. She reached out again to the lawyer about signing last week. I think they talked and she may come in next week and sign. I won't know until the lawyer says something.

Going away, which I can do, seems my best chance at getting a good night sleep again. My biggest debate in to go to Asia and party for a year or live next to a beach, any thoughts? One means a lot of girls. The other means a lot of time to reflect. Sometimes I think girls, and a lot of them, new relationships, can help me to forget. There are just more people in Asia than here.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

And my BIG MISTAKE was, not keeping in touch with old girlfriends and getting contact information and making casual friendships with women who expressed interest in me over the years. I saw my marriage as solid. But, this is one thing I could have controlled, that now, in my time of starting over could have provided me with support.

read this an be warned. Control what you can control, have alternates or suffer the sudden consequences of relationship abandonment.


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

I don’t know if that’s right for you, but being single, attractive, having money and banging your way through Asia sounds like one hell of a vacation.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Honestly, advising people to keep their options open with people of the opposite sex during their marriage is really poor advice. I don't regret not being an ahole when my marriage ended with him cheating on me. That's not who I am. Your entire life seems centered around women. It's kinda pathetic.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

breeze said:


> Honestly, advising people to keep their options open with people of the opposite sex during their marriage is really poor advice. I don't regret not being an ahole when my marriage ended with him cheating on me. That's not who I am. Your entire life seems centered around women. It's kinda pathetic.


We were together two decades. She became a great life partner, really. And seven months ago she took up an affair, and now wants to divorce me or keep me as a safety should it not work out. My weekends are spent alone, my week is spent alone. I am retired. She was next to retire. To me this is one big BETRAYAL. 

Most of my family is dead. She too has only two living relatives. With no one I am simply alone all day every day. I think to live in say Philippines because I can meet and easily have friends. I live in the USA and if you are not married it sucks. She knows it too, and it is the reason for her trying to cuckold me. 

She spoke about getting back together in three months, six months, when ever many times so she can work through this problem of hers. So what, I just die a little more everyday? Last we spoke, she said I could see her next week on one day for lunch, really? 

She passed on the signing the divorce papers last week and seems she may put them off next week too. I will get my passport in two weeks, and afraid I am, I am just leaving for whatever there is there because it is definitely better than here.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

breeze said:


> Honestly, advising people to keep their options open with people of the opposite sex during their marriage is really poor advice. I don't regret not being an ahole when my marriage ended with him cheating on me. That's not who I am. Your entire life seems centered around women. It's kinda pathetic.


We were together two decades. She became a great life partner, really. And seven months ago she took up an affair, and now wants to divorce me or keep me as a safety should it not work out. My weekends are spent alone, my week is spent alone. I am retired. She was next to retire. To me this is one big BETRAYAL. 

Most of my family is dead. She too has only two living relatives. With no one I am simply alone all day every day. I think to live in say Philippines because I can meet and easily have friends. I live in the USA and if you are not married it sucks. She knows it too, and it is the reason for her trying to cuckold me. 

She spoke about getting back together in three months, six months, when ever many times so she can work through this problem of hers. So what, I just die a little more everyday? Last we spoke, she said I could see her next week on one day for lunch, really? 

She passed on the signing the divorce papers last week and seems she may put them off next week too. I will get my passport in two weeks, and afraid I am, I am just leaving for whatever there is there because it is definitely better than here.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

eric1 said:


> I don’t know if that’s right for you, but being single, attractive, having money and banging your way through Asia sounds like one hell of a vacation.


Thanks. I am scared. But my life here is awful.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Cut off the contact with her. It's getting you nothing.

You'll starve on breadcrumbs


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Marc878 said:


> Cut off the contact with her. It's getting you nothing.
> 
> You'll starve on breadcrumbs


marc878,

I know she is being naïve and making a mistake. The guy doesn't trust her and he is a control freak. He's 37 and never married. Usually, there is a reason. He checks her phone, questions her on what she does and watches every friend. It's a matter of time before he slaps her and calls her a *****. He must be going nuts inside. He saw what she did to me.

Now, its not a forever situation, me being around. Mostly, I want to keep the relationship with her, you never know. And it's been two decades and we still get along through the divorce. But, its hard to see her because he's a control freak. Besides, I look physically good, and if I dress to show my body, well, she may just go right to bed with me. 

Remember, I have had sex with her countless times and when she was at her best. Today, she is in her mid thirties. Sex isn't my reason to be around, it's more the relationship. As for me, early forties, well it's not the best time to be looking for women. I know her well and she is a good partner, just naïve. I kept her to well and protected. 

Seems I have to hit on mothers, women in their thirties, any advice, while I hang out here for a few months.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

LostAndy said:


> marc878,
> 
> *I know she is being naïve and making a mistake*. The guy doesn't trust her and he is a control freak. He's 37 and never married. Usually, there is a reason. He checks her phone, questions her on what she does and watches every friend. It's a matter of time before he slaps her and calls her a *****. He must be going nuts inside. He saw what she did to me.
> 
> ...


Ive seen many like you waiting, hoping, etc. wake up and go your own way. Life is very short to waste it on a wayward.


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