# Is it wrong to rejoice in the OM marriage ending?



## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Found out yesterday that the OM has been put out of his house and is now "single" the divorce was just finalized. I couldn't be happier I hope his wife rips his as*, from what I found out he is now living in a rental in a bad area trying to just keep up with his financial responsibilities at his *former house*(HAHA).
So I feel great about his suffering but sad that his wife had to go throught this(he was a serial cheater and my informing her of his cheating with my WS was the last straw in their marriage) I thought about contacting her to apologize but I wasn't the one who wronged her I just gave her the info.
I haven't told my WS about this she is NC (Yep I check) and I may never not sure, I am not worried about her contacting him or anything like that now that he is single just don't see a sense in dragging him up in any talks we have.
Sorry I have been doing the happy dance at his suffering he deserves it the scumbag.:rofl:


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Nothing wrong with it. Fvck him!


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## Grey Goose (Aug 23, 2012)

Man I ENVY YOU SOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!! IF only the cochofle OW had some karma? At least I cn laugh that she tried contacting my H and he sent her an email telling her to never contacte him or any member of his family again, that being with her was the worst mistake of his life and that she could never stand up to me and to the love he has for me.

I still think he is an A$$ for doing what he did, but it felt good!


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Never tell your WW about the OM. Everytime that you do that you are making your WW break NC with the OM.

As to you apologize to the OMW, you are crazy.

You did not cause the OM's divorce.

The OM's affairs caused their divorce.


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## Yessongs72 (Dec 6, 2012)

Tricky call this - Yes anything negative in POSOMs life can only be a good thing. BUT misery for POSOMs-wife not to be celebrated.


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## WTHiswrong (Feb 18, 2013)

:iagree:


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Yeah I feel bad but in a way happy for her, she finally stepped up and has made her life better no one should have to live with that if they don't choose to and he cheated on her several times from what I understand. I think she is probably sad but happy and excited for her future so I do wish her the best but I won't contact her.
But I will keep :rofl: at least for as long as I can every thing that comes out of this thats makes me smile is something to celebrate.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

define "wrong"

I think it's natural to feel that way, as long as you aren't actively orchestrating revenge tactics then I think you are just as normal as the rest of us


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## ody360 (Feb 1, 2013)

Its nice to see the OM or OW get punished to. So many times it seems like the cheated and cheater are the only ones that have to deal with everything and the outsider just gets to go on with normal life like nothing has ever happened. So i would probably be throwing a party with my friend on how happy i would be that the douche bag was getting punished to. Evil yes, but completely justifiable.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Actually I would feel good for her. She's rid herself of a cheating scumbag husband. She's taken a major positive step in her life by ditching him. She can now find someone who loves and cares for her.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> define "wrong"
> 
> I think it's natural to feel that way, as long as you aren't actively orchestrating revenge tactics then I think you are just as normal as the rest of us


I still want to know why revenge is so bad. It seems to have been around for awhile. Maybe I just associate it with standing up for yourself. Payback is supposed to be hell.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Revenge is not bad, and I have looked into messing with him and the others just for my own enjoyment. I figure as long as I don't hurt anyone else but the om why not. Telling his wife about the cheating wasn't so much about revenge more about no one should have to live with that lie and be treated that way so she needed to know.
Planning for the demise(not in a physical sense) of your enemies is how man is built and can be fun.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

chapparal said:


> I still want to know why revenge is so bad. It seems to have been around for awhile. Maybe I just associate it with standing up for yourself. Payback is supposed to be hell.



because ultimately it is empty and does no good other than a burst of short term schadenfaude, it can get you in trouble with the law in some cases and your energy is better focused on healing and moving on

informing OMW or OMH may make the BS feel better but it is still the right thing to do not because of revenge but because that person deserves to know


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Yeah I rejoiced and laughed my a$$ off because the lying sack of sh-t xOM gaslighted his wife...never told her the truth and continues to lie to our former "friends".

Too bad for him that she got my email and asked me questions. I spilled every f'ng detail. Every one. And I admit that I included that they were enjoying their affair while she was pregnant with their first AND second child. I think that was the final nail.

And I couldn't give 2 sh-ts about it either. She's a strong woman with a good (and wealthy) family. She'll be fine. He'll be miserable.

Makes me smile almost daily.


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

I personally don’t see anything wrong with being happy about it. I mean, why not? They were more than happy to engage in an affair with your spouse so I don’t see anything wrong with you being happy about karma showing up.

I exposed my WS and his AP last fall; he and I are in R but she and her BS split up not too long after dDay – I emailed the other BS proof of the affair, what the VAR picked up from being in my WS’s car for two weeks. Since then the OW has had nothing but bad luck and I don’t feel one shred of sympathy for her. Then again, my WS has taken a lot of crap at work over his own stupidity and I don’t feel sorry for him either. When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.

OW was kicked out of the very house she used to own with her now xBS; he also had her name taken off the house. She now lives in a crappy apartment with three guys and was knocked up by one of them. Not a one of them has two nickels to rub together and the only one I feel sorry for is the baby being brought into that environment. Prior to the pregnancy she was sick for weeks on end due to stress related symptoms. She used to work with my WS but since has been moved to another office and not by choice. Prior to her job being moved she was being harassed by some of her coworkers about being the “office ****.” As it turns out, she had several “office boyfriends” and as she has learned, that behavior doesn’t make you many friends.

The best part is the OW is known for being a bit of a bully, thinks of herself as a bit of a tough guy and counts on not being called out by BS’s of past affairs; that is, if she even gets caught. OW thinks she’s pretty slick and since she hasn’t always been caught, she was counting on getting away with it once again. This wasn’t her first rodeo and to my knowledge she’s never had to deal with the fallout of her behavior. I outed her to her BS and his family; I outed both WS and OW at their workplace. WS outed himself to his family as I wasn’t about to do that myself.

I figure WS and OW didn’t care about how their behavior affected others and were happy to be in their little fantasy…..I can be happy about what karma did come her/their way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbonham77 (Feb 21, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Nothing wrong with it. Fvck him!


i am with you


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> because ultimately it is empty and does no good other than a burst of short term schadenfaude, it can get you in trouble with the law in some cases and your energy is better focused on healing and moving on
> 
> informing OMW or OMH may make the BS feel better but it is still the right thing to do not because of revenge but because that person deserves to know


or it's protecting other marriages. 

My wife's OM (EA) is the principal of the high school where my wife is an English teacher. He won't be coming back next year with what I have. Best not to try to get into the pants of someone whose husband plays soccer and is buddy buddy with the Superintendant.

I've been assured he won't be back next year. It felt good that I was able to tell him when I saw him at Starbucks a week ago.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Nothing wrong there mate.
I heard the other day how my Hs exOW is happily reconciled with her H and how they went on a romantic break to Paris last week. I almost vomited in my mouth. 
It troubled me for days.
No karma bus hitting there anytime soon, unfortunately. She's just gone back to her life and job as If nothing ever happened and I'm still trying to come to terms with everything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I think it's natural to feel that way. It sounds like the OM's wife is better off without him.

But don't lose sight of the fact that it was your wife who chose to do this to YOUR marriage. OM is responsible for his behavior and suffered the consequences. Your wife is responsible for her behavior. What goes on in your marriage is far, far more important than what has transpired in OM's.

I don't know your story, so forgive me for replying without any background.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

No, it is not wrong. It is human. The sweet taste of revenge...
But, me personally, I wouldn't really rejoice. Think about his poor wife, her heartache, her sadness, the destruction of her family... it was 2 people in that marriage not just the one you hate. 
Then, you may want to keep a closer watch on your wife. The OM is now a single man...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

love=pain said:


> Found out yesterday that the OM has been put out of his house and is now "single" the divorce was just finalized. I couldn't be happier I hope his wife rips his as*, from what I found out he is now living in a rental in a bad area trying to just keep up with his financial responsibilities at his *former house*(HAHA).
> So I feel great about his suffering but sad that his wife had to go throught this(he was a serial cheater and my informing her of his cheating with my WS was the last straw in their marriage) I thought about contacting her to apologize but I wasn't the one who wronged her I just gave her the info.
> I haven't told my WS about this she is NC (Yep I check) and I may never not sure, I am not worried about her contacting him or anything like that now that he is single just don't see a sense in dragging him up in any talks we have.
> Sorry I have been doing the happy dance at his suffering he deserves it the scumbag.:rofl:


Don't apologise to her, but offer her your fellowfeel as a fellow BS. She might find some comfort here, at TAM.


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## canadiangirl (Apr 24, 2012)

I haven't read the entire thread but I was soooo happy when I found out OW gained a sh!t load of weight.


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## cj9947 (Jul 9, 2011)

canadiangirl said:


> I haven't read the entire thread but I was soooo happy when I found out OW gained a sh!t load of weight.


LOL.......:smthumbup:


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

No contact with the OM exW , why drag up stupid stuff while we are working on our R, I would have to tell my wife as our marriage contract is not to have contact with any opposite sex or to keep anything hidden so I would tell her.
The sweetest revenge seems to be what you don't plan or have anything to do with maybe, I could think of a few things that I could do to him that would keep me smiling for years.
One last thought about revenge, if you don't think about it or want to exact some on the OM/W then you are already done with the relationship, it doesn't mean anything to you if you won't defend it..


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

canadiangirl said:


> I haven't read the entire thread but I was soooo happy when I found out OW gained a sh!t load of weight.


Funny!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

I don't agree that its revenge. I think it's a matter of the guilty reaping the "rewards" of their selfish behavior. It's chosen behavior, it's not as though its an accident. Call it karma, revenge, whatever. I DID get something out of watching the OW self-destruct her life. I don't regret any of it and if WS and OW hadn't of done what they did, it wouldn't be haunting her. And yes, I do enjoy the fact karma did come around and I did get to see and hear about it. No apologies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

love=pain said:


> The sweetest revenge seems to be what you don't plan or have anything to do with maybe, I could think of a few things that I could do to him that would keep me smiling for years.


This is probably true. It's not so much a plan, as something that presents itself to you and just might be too good to pass up.


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Nothing wrong with the way you feel.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

I would be rejoicing about the demise of OM's marriage except XWW's affair with him ended up costing us our marriage as well.

OM's BW knew about the affair a year before I did and never bothered to get in touch with me. I finally figured it out what was going on and contacted her. She did have the proof that lead to me filing for D.

Even though I was not happy with OM's BW for not contacting me I still feel bad that her marriage fell apart...for her that is. I do not feel bad for OM. He deserves to be run down by the Karma bus...and then backed over again. I hope she took him to the cleaners in the settlement. 

I don't see it as revenge. I consider it consequences. For every action in life there are consequences. As a result of their actions as cheaters, they are now both divorced from their spouses...and they don't have each other now either. 

Now that is worth rejoicing!


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

chapparal said:


> *I still want to know why revenge is so bad*. It seems to have been around for awhile. Maybe I just associate it with standing up for yourself. Payback is supposed to be hell.



That makes us 2


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Revenge doesn't really get to the heart of the pain and anger, which really is with the WS. Thinking about revenge serves as a welcome distraction, would give some satisfaction, but, ultimately, it's nowhere near enough to make you feel better in a way that frees you. 

So I think revenge is something our minds focus on to help ease some of the intense focus on the person in our homes and beds who betrayed us.

Not until your pain and anger and everything else is truly resolved with the WS who made the choices that hurt you and your marriage, are you really free of it.

Some people might dwell too much in revenge, and might not put enough focus on their WS. That's a mistake, I think.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

You only hurt yourself in that kind of thinking. 

I'm not saying it's wrong. But it's definitely not good for you.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Edit (my bullsh*t): There is much suffering of the BS and little of the WS. However.....

We allow what we allow.


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## old_soldier (Jul 17, 2012)

TryingToRecover said:


> I personally don’t see anything wrong with being happy about it. I mean, why not? They were more than happy to engage in an affair with your spouse so I don’t see anything wrong with you being happy about karma showing up.
> 
> I exposed my WS and his AP last fall; he and I are in R but she and her BS split up not too long after dDay – I emailed the other BS proof of the affair, what the VAR picked up from being in my WS’s car for two weeks. Since then the OW has had nothing but bad luck and I don’t feel one shred of sympathy for her. Then again, my WS has taken a lot of crap at work over his own stupidity and I don’t feel sorry for him either. When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.
> 
> ...


I love this. Totally awsome. You are 100% correct; WHEN ONE CHOOSES THE BEHAVIOUR, ONE CHOOSES THE CONSEQUENCES!


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## southernsurf (Feb 22, 2013)

not bad - its watching karma in real time......


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## IsthisInsanity? (Feb 18, 2013)

Nothing wrong with it in my opinion. He was the one who screwed his marriage. Now he have to deal with the consequences. I would to the happy dace too


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Maybe not rejoice, but I didn't feel sorry in the least. While I agree my wife made the choice, the OM was an active pursuant. Being that GA is a Fault/No-Fault state, the detailed notarized "information" of their affair played into the court regarding alimony and child custody/support. 

Interesting I was able to follow the divorce proceeding in detail on-line. It took 9 months before all motions, delays, classes, disclosures, and arbitration's were exhausted and civil proceedings took place. 

Early on, I talked with the OMW concerning what I had found out. Her husband had admitted to serial cheating just like my wife (lost souls in horrible marriages i guess). We agreed that after a few months from DD that it would probably be best if we stopped talking together. Nothing more could be said and we were just leaning on each other and not moving forward with our lives. She did thank me for finally showing her what a lying cheat her husband was after years of suspecting. 

I take it back... Yes, Rejoice is about right.


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## MountainofEmotions (Mar 22, 2011)

This ending is similar to mine. The OM divorced, but it soon occured to me that he could now initiate contact with my W with no real consequences. Stay vigilant!


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