# Can't help feeling this way



## Alexiathefirst (Oct 29, 2014)

In the past, some really negative things happened to me where I was forced into intimacy. I told my partner that I don't like it when he does anything that looks like forcing. If he doesn't ask at all, it really upsets me. I react with anger, disappointment and just close off to him. I a couple weeks ago, we had a good heart to heart, but it seems like I have to remind him again and again. This morning, for example, he kept putting his genitals in my hand while I was trying to sleep. It woke me up, but I pretended to be asleep still. I would move my hand and he would put it back in. I have told him before that I don't like it at all. Then, he gets frustrated because I don't have a sex drive at all. I'm working on it because it's a medical issue, but because he's so frustrated with it, he keeps trying to rush it and force things. Which delays things further because I completely shut down. I feel like he then starts blaming me because I haven't been affectionate with him enough. Well, when he does those things, I can't. I feel closed to everyone at that point. This isn't the only issue though. We used to sit down and talk. We would have heart to hearts a lot, but we don't do that any more. Though, I try to. He doesn't spend any quality time with me any more. He seems to be busier than he has before. I asked him about it to see what was going on, and he says it's basically all my fault. I haven't been open with him any more so he doesn't want to be around. I feel like our relationship is falling apart. I'm getting really tired of it. We've been together for a long while, years, and I don't want it to end. Yet, this keeps happening. He seems to disregard when I say I can't have sex. He gets so desperate, that he just does what he wants in the end. I feel like it's less forgetting and just wanting it so much that he just takes it. I don't want to think this way. I don't know what to do any more. I tell him what not to do and it seems to not mean anything any more. We renewed our relationship three months ago and it was great but now. It seems that we are in a bad place again. We hardly ever talk. If we ever try to, it leads into an argument. I don't know what to do any more. Neither of us see breaking up as an option. We have a son, so we have to fix it.

Not only this, he has a fetish I strongly disagree with. Not anything illegal, but just something that turns me off strongly. He keeps trying to get me to do it. I don't want to go into it too much, but he keeps trying to give me benefits on why it would be good for me too. He researches a lot on how this would be good for survival and such. It would be very taxing for me to do. I guess, I should just come out and say it. He wants to be treated like a baby for intimate things. He wants to wear a diaper and wants me to breast feed him. We tried talking about this before, but I told him that I just wasn't ready. He's gotten tired of waiting for me and starts telling me that lactating will help me lose weight and has many other uses. It's just frustrating and I don't know how to deal with it.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Here are some suggestions:


Get counseling for the date rape you've experienced. Sounds like you have a lot of issues that you still need to work on.
Your BF sounds like a tool. Baby fetish? Drop this dork...
Keep working on your medical needs to get yourself healthy again and to regain your sex drive back.
Back to the BF...his method of initiation in the morning sucks. Again, what a tool!

Bottom line, IMHO, you are not ready to date let alone be in a relationship. Throw this loser to the curb, work on healing yourself and THEN reenter the dating scene. JMHO.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Him talking you sexually against your will is rape. It does not matter if you are in a relationship or not. No is no. If he cannot understand that and respect your wishes, I'd find someone else and drop this looser. Nobody deserves to be raped. 

Ray
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Here are some suggestions:
> 
> 
> Get counseling for the date rape you've experienced. Sounds like you have a lot of issues that you still need to work on.
> ...


This. You guys both have issues that need to be working on, and his are interfering with yours. All you can do is work on your stuff, which your likely do best on your own. 

If he sticks his pecker in your hand again though, just give it a really hard squeeze. And the next time after that, use fingernails. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Atomic girl (Oct 30, 2014)

You both have issues, for the sake of your son, get counselling together, his fetish would be a turn off for any woman, your withholding of sex (affection to a man) is over reaction


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

Haha, that's pathetic. As you can see from my other thread, lactation is quite a turn on, but not in the way he seems to be wanting to go about it. A diaper, really? Can you say MOMMY issues? He just drops his **** into your hand, and that's his initiation? It sounds like he's wanting you to just take control and tell him what to do. Sounds like a complete child. Tell him, yeah, go put on a diaper, and don't ever take it off.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Here are some suggestions:
> 
> 
> Get counseling for the date rape you've experienced. Sounds like you have a lot of issues that you still need to work on.
> ...



I can pretty much guess by context, but just for illucidation, what is a 'tool'?
Haven't heard that lingo before.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

tool  

One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used. A fool. A cretin. Characterized by low intelligence and/or self-steem.


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