# Help with orgasm



## newbeelishas (Dec 7, 2011)

Hi I am new to this; here's a little background. I am 28 years old and have been married for 4 months. I had sex for the first time when I was 26 and didn't really like it. My husband is the 3rd guy I have been with. I love my husband and we have a great relationship. I feel that our sex life could be better. He loves sex and it's not that I don't like it but I can live without it. I really want to enjoy sex as much as he does and my girlfriends do. When we have sex I don't orgasm , I've never orgasmed during sex. I can easily orgasm using a vibrator which I did for years before I was having sex so maybe my body got used to it. I hear people saying how much they love sex or they can't live without it so I feel like I'm really missing out. we have done a lot of foreplay before and I orgasmed when he stimulated my clitoris but it wasn't during sex. When we have sex it's hard for my mind not to wander and I'm usually ready for him to be done. I have tried been ontop but it's worse because then I feel like I have to concentrate on the rhythm. I do like it on my back the most but I still
Don't get vaginal orgasms. I really need tips/ help in what I/we should do? My husband knows I don't orgasm
During sex and also wants to help but I don't know what to do.
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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

How about trying to incorporate the vibrator into foreplay, or use it on yourself (if possible) during intercourse?


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## newbeelishas (Dec 7, 2011)

Well I guess I'm trying to not depend on the vibrator anymore but instead to rely on my husband to pleasure me. It really boosts his confidence when he gives me orgasms during foreplay
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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Many women don't orgasm during intercourse - they need clitoral stimulation. Just relax and enjoy the clitoral ones for now, do some reading up on stimulation of the G spot, try different positions to see what feels best for you. You have DECADES to experiment and learn what your body likes! RELAX.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Find positions where he can stimulate you clitorally.

Doggy style, he can use his hands and fingers on you.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Numerous studies show that a majority of women - sometimes a large majority - can't orgasm from intercourse alone. If you can, consider yourself fortunate. If you can't, consider yourself normal.
My personal studies show that zero percent of women who obsess over having an orgasm from intercourse can have an orgasm from intercourse. My wife can after MUCH MUCH effort. But it turns out that MUCH MUCH effort was ruining the rest of the experience. The intercourse O wasn't worth it to her, and she was quite content to have one through other means.
So relax and enjoy the intimacy and experience. If it happens, awesome. If not, it's normal.
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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Try telling yourself and fantasize that you love sex/making love often. Picture your husbands manhood being the sexiest thing you've ever seen and how you can't wait for him to get inside you. Your brain is the biggest sex organ and it starts there. Make yourself comfortable fully with your body and relax. 

I can easily climax(in the missionary position) when I grab my husbands backside and bring him closer to/in me and work it. I've heard that putting a pillow under your bottom helps too, but I have not tried this. Don't get frustrated. Practice, practice, practice. . You'll get there.
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## monkeyface (Dec 2, 2011)

Ok, this is simpler than you think! While having sex, on your back if you choose, while he is penetrating you, reach your hand down (get it wet if you'd like) and stimulate your clitoris! Done! You'll be cumming in no time! And I bet your hubby will find it kind of hot, too!  This takes the pressure off of him to "get it right" and he will absolutely love being inside of you when you are having an orgasm. I think if more women did this they'd be able to orgasm during intercourse. Take control and make it happen! Good luck and let us know how it works out for you!


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

My wife needs clitoral stimulation for orgasm. For sex, we use a position that gives that to her. 1. Her on her back and me on my side between her legs. I or she can stimulate her clit. 2. Her on the edge of the bed and I stand with her legs on my shoulders. She can use a vibrator on her clit. 3. Spooning and she or I can stimulate her clit. 

The only time that g-spot stimulation works is when I am giving her oral. When she is getting close to orgasm with my tongue on her clit, I use 2 fingers to rub her g-spot.

Hope this helps!


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

First of all, when I was married and in my 20's, I could only orgasm through manual stimulation, not through intercourse. And getting an O that way was work. That is because I was terribly insecure about my body (even though I looked fabulous) and I was just not comfortable asking for what I needed to get excited. Youth is wasted on the young! I think many people in their 20's are not good lovers (lots of men, especially!).

As I got older and a lof more confident in myself, I felt more confortable asking for what I wanted in bed and getting it. I am in my 40s now and I have orgasms through intercourse ALL THE TIME (I also have a different husband, but that's not the point).

Are you not sexually aroused at all? How often do you feel in the mood? Do you avoid sex because you are afraid of being disappointed? I'm just trying to figure out your lack of interest. If your disinterest is because of your disappointment in sex, or performance pressure, that is helpful to know so you can deal with it.

I have read that some vibrators can desensitize a woman's clitoris if used too often, but I also think a vib can be a great way to learn how to O during sex, too. There is no right way to get an O. 

I also wonder if anything happened to you in childhood that may impact how you are feeling about sex as an adult. Just something to consider.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

monkeyface said:


> Ok, this is simpler than you think! While having sex, on your back if you choose, while he is penetrating you, reach your hand down (get it wet if you'd like) and stimulate your clitoris! Done! You'll be cumming in no time! And I bet your hubby will find it kind of hot, too!


I can testify that as a hubby, i find it kind of hot when she does this.


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