# On A pedastal



## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

Asking your wife to dress up,is this putting her on a pedastal?
If not anything to be aware of that turn it into that


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Go read here what it means to "put someone on a pedestal".

What does

Putting someone on a pedestal, means that you elevate their stature regardless of what they truly are, e.g., such as seeing them without flaws even though they really have them, or believing that 'they would never' even though they likely would.

I am not sure about how this connects to asking your wife to dress up for you?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

The W and I had a long convo about this same issue yesterday. We both agreed that we have gotten too lazy about our appearance. You know those people in Wal-Mart wearing sweats and looking homeless? They're starting to give US dirty looks!

So, for X-mas, we came up with a novel idea: we will go clothes shopping with and for each other, and we will start taking opportunities to go places where we can look nice!


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

F-102 said:


> The W and I had a long convo about this same issue yesterday. We both agreed that we have gotten too lazy about our appearance. You know those people in Wal-Mart wearing sweats and looking homeless? They're starting to give US dirty looks!
> 
> So, for X-mas, we came up with a novel idea: we will go clothes shopping with and for each other, and we will start taking opportunities to go places where we can look nice!


Good for you .
I was meaning bedroom attire ,but I'm thinking if I ask for it too much she sees herself as the prize . 
Which is the whole point of her dressing up,but how often is too often? I would sometimes wish she would dress up without me asking .


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Does your wife know that you enjoy it when she dresses up? It can be hard for males to have open and frank discussions about sex with their spouse, but it works wonders, and assuming you have a healthy sex life she should be open for the discussion.

Most women already see themselves as the prize, or "gatekeeper". Even your language shows you to believe the same thing. Realize that you both want a happy sex life, and then have a conversation to figure out what "happy" means to the both of you, and then you can find some middle ground that will be mutually satisfactory to both of. Of course this is much easier said than done.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'll buck the trend........I do much better when my wife is on her pedestal!! 

When I treat her like a queen it works better for me..........when I see her as just a normal woman who happens to love me. I can get selfish with my thoughts.

Always putting her needs before my own works best for me!!


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

OhGeesh said:


> I'll buck the trend........I do much better when my wife is on her pedestal!!
> 
> When I treat her like a queen it works better for me..........when I see her as just a normal woman who happens to love me. I can get selfish with my thoughts.
> 
> Always putting her needs before my own works best for me!!


In three years time youl'll be back, asking people how to solve your sexless marriage.

In reality women do not want their men to worship them, they just want their men to be men. Plain and simple. Or you can do the easy thing and set yourself up for the, "How do I solve my sexless marriage" post in the future.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> I'll buck the trend........I do much better when my wife is on her pedestal!!


=/

If my wife is sitting on the pedestal she's pretty much asking to be pushed off. Same way she drags me off my throne and steals it, and slaps me senseless when I win it back hehe, turns me on - and that annoys her.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

SockPuppet said:


> *In three years time youl'll be back, asking people how to solve your sexless marriage.*
> 
> In reality women do not want their men to worship them, they just want their men to be men. Plain and simple. Or you can do the easy thing and set yourself up for the, "How do I solve my sexless marriage" post in the future.


:iagree:

Although I like when Hubs treats me like a woman...even if others would say it's "sexist"


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> =/
> 
> If my wife is sitting on the pedestal she's pretty much asking to be pushed off. Same way she drags me off my throne and steals it, and slaps me senseless when I win it back hehe, turns me on - and that annoys her.


Thats how I am with wifey. Although I wish she'd kick my ass a little more when Im on my throne... All she does is whine about it, after I have repeatedly told her to kick me off it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well I have to admit, my missus isn't really in her prime either nowadays mate. She has it in her, but I have to keep poking! Lest she just whines and plays silent treatment! 

She's 50/50 really atm.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife dresses up almost all the time with very little asking from me. Sometimes I will ask for something specific, but we know what each other likes and will do it.
Do I put her on a pedestal? Absolutely. She is the best and I let her know that often.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ohhh you meant BEDROOM attire?

lol.

Yea, it's ok to ask!  My husband likes it so I do it randomly (when i go all out with bustiers, garters, thigh highs, etc... ) and surprise him after work 

Maybe buy her something you'd like her to wear! (my suggestion if you don't know her size, get a size smaller than you think she is because that way, she thinks YOU thinks she's small and she can secretly exchange it.).


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

asking someone to dress nice isnt anything to do with a pedestal. i ask my husband to change into his nice jeans sometimes.

and he will ask me to wear different heels sometimes. its normal to want the person who you are in public with to dress better...if the situation calls for it.

you wouldnt go to dinner at a nice restraunt in mom jeans and trainers....

and being on a pedestal isnt about ignoring all the faults of the other person, its about accepting them, and finding their quarks endearing, and cute.

being on a pedestal is like, if you asked your husband to go to this certain store, stand in line for 3 hours on black friday, buy this 50 dollar toaster, and he knows it wont live past june the year to come, and you melted the toaster by setting it on fire.

you tell him, and he says with a shrug, oh accidents happen.

being on a shelf, worse. because you are just a pretty thing to look at, and not to get dirty, or deifiled. and you are/have to be PERFECT.

im not sure how to explain it...like i can do wrong, but its ok, and i pull some hair brained stunts...but he just says thats part of who i am. im weird loud, ocd, a horder, i like to control all that i see and dont see.

i cuss like a sailor, i will buy shoes and comics, novels instead of paying that bill..these are not postive atriubtes. but yet im on a pedestal. if he bought me a car for around 5000 dollars and i wrecked it in a week..he would be mad about the money...but not at me. he knew what the out come would be.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

I agree with PandaKiss. Putting a woman on a pedestal is about not realizing they're human and capable of doing wrong. When you look to please her without regard to getting your needs met then you have put her on a pedestal. Asking her to dress a little sexy at bed time isn't equal to putting her on a pedestal.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

SockPuppet said:


> In three years time youl'll be back, asking people how to solve your sexless marriage.
> 
> In reality women do not want their men to worship them, they just want their men to be men. Plain and simple. Or you can do the easy thing and set yourself up for the, "How do I solve my sexless marriage" post in the future.


Ha.....ha.....I see it happening often. I'm different  been married for 16 and "Hitting it" for over 20. Most people don't even last that long.

See the keys aren't manning up or any of that lingo it's communication, live as one not seperate lives, dream together, plan together, make each other the priority, make date nights, and sex nights happen, be real, gutwrenchingly honest, and enjoy life it's short!!

I guess seeing as we both look at the other as the better....it works for us at least.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> Ha.....ha.....I see it happening often. I'm different  been married for 16 and "Hitting it" for over 20. Most people don't even last that long.
> 
> See the keys aren't manning up or any of that lingo it's communication, live as one not seperate lives, dream together, plan together, make each other the priority, make date nights, and sex nights happen, be real, gutwrenchingly honest, and enjoy life it's short!!
> 
> I guess seeing as we both look at the other as the better....it works for us at least.


TRULY! I couldn't agree more!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Logically, I do realize that my wife is not perfect and does some things that make me unhappy now and then.
Overall, I just love her so much that I don't really see any flaws.


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