# What do I do Next



## sparkle4 (Jun 12, 2010)

My husband moved out today. I have posted before about my story. I just dont know what to do now. He did not go to the laywers appointment he had today he said that can be done later just incase he changes his mind and he doesn not have any money. When I ask him if he is going to work on things he say he does not know. He says he does not want to give me any false hope and that he is pretty sure we are done. He is signing a lease for a year. He has left me and the kids in the house and says he can give at lease $400 or $500 a month in child support depending on what he has left after his needs are met. I am on unemployment. We were barley making ends meet with two incomes. His plan is to stop paying all the credit cards and house payment and just let his credit go. So if I stay in this house until they forclose my credit will be shot but who is going to let someone who is on unemplyment move in their appartments. He is so selfish, I cant believe he is doing this to our family. I dont know what to do.


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## 13878 (Jun 21, 2010)

Sparkle,

It sounds like you are in a rough spot. It's unfortunate that this is happening and I'm sure it hurts. You have to keep in mind, though, that being sad and depressed won't help things. You have to take positive action. 

Instead of blaming your husband, try for a moment to look at what you may have done improperly that may have pushed this further. Perhaps you weren't as loving as you could've been, perhaps you haven't been keeping yourself attractive for him... Look deep within for the answer. Once you've found it, take action IMMEDIATELY and continue to do so until your husband can't stand being apart from you.

This is critical to fixing your marriage. Good luck! Please keep us posted.


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## sparkle4 (Jun 12, 2010)

Thank you for your post. After reading it I can think of a few things. 
When he came home from his meeting at 5 am I sat and talked with him I explained to him that I now realize that alot of things are my fault. He would not of had to look out side our marriage for compainship if I had been there for him when he needed me and I went on about a few other things, my weight etc. I told him that I was going to work really hard on my self and prove to him that I can be a better wife. He seemed responsive that was the first night in over a week that we talked nice to each other. He said he still did not think he wanted to fix things he has been unhappy for so long. We made a few plans about the house and such for the next day and then I told him that I wanted to hug him and maybe he should just go to bed. He said he wanted to have sex and I said so do I. He said it would not change anything I agreed that no strings attached. So we did. He could barley even look at me and would not kiss me. He said those are things you do when you make love. I could tell he wanted to but forced himself not to. This morning he is made at me. Was mean and nasty saying he knows for sure it is over. He acts as if I forced him to sleep with me.

I tried to talk to him about he house and he said it was not his problem anymore. His big plan is to get an apartment and because our house loan is up side down he would just stop paying and let them forclose. I called a laywer today they said he cant do that, they will make him pay and pay my lawyer fees at least untill the divorce is final. I felt alot better about that. I dont really want to do that I still have hope that he will come around but at the same I cant pay all the bills myself. He is moving in a couple of day and he cant afford his apartment rent and our house payment he is signing a 1 yr lease thinking it will force him to stay away from me. So my question is do I tell him about the laywer or just do it. I really love him and want to work it out I am so upset.


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