# Lets Get Physical



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

I would like to share what I feel is a form of success in my marriage with the sex issue.I try for yrs. to understand it and also change it I am HD and my wife is LD.It appeared there was no answer to the problem.I tried to be a better husband,I tried to do more around the house.But I could never count on her for sex.It was always Maybe later,We will see,Yes ,I begged for it.
We loved ea other to the Max.Its just that she does not require sex in her life.She could live without it.It was not a must for her.What I rec. from her was duty sex 2-3 times a month,It was just a release for me.And she was off the hook for 10 days.
It never mattered if we went on dates.If I was nice to her.If I was romantic towards her.Nothing ever seemed to work.I could never count on getting laid.
This not for everyone,But it worked for me.I change the game I turned it into a pure physical event with her.She does not have to be in the mood for loven .What it is is its Mechanical.Its simple. I removed all the baggage from it all. So now we make appointments for sex.I say things like. could you give me pleasure today.Its Yes or No . Eather on or off no BS.So maybe its more of a friendship thing now than ever.Its like how many times can she say no to a friend when asked would you comfort me.Its simple now.Its not a big deal any longer.I do so much for her all the time and I enjoy doing them. And we get along better then ever.Maybe she lost that lovin feelin for me.But now its a physical thing.And she enjoys it better than ever.Its like hey want to get naked.Don't say no for ever??? I really feel we are rebuilding our whole life together.The pressure for her to perform and me always trying to get laid is so much easier now.I have used this term before here and it was not excepted very well.But here does.Its like will you bend for a friend.Meaning we are best buds can you help a guy out.I will so reward you with kindness for ever.From what I read here is if most people treated their friends like they treat their spouse they would not have any friends.So I have become great friends again with my wife and she loves me for it.And we are having fun again.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

If it's working for you then :smthumbup:


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I ought to try this with Sarah the intern 

It may work for a while and may even build some emotional connection, but without long term emotional involvement I am not so sure if it will keep on working.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Glad you found something that works for you. How often is she saying no? When she does, how do you react to that? Is she willing to do what you want when she says yes, or is there a restricted repitoire? What I'm trying to understand is how this can be satisfying because, to be honest, it doesn't sound like it could be.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Anon1111 said:


> Glad you found something that works for you. How often is she saying no? When she does, how do you react to that? Is she willing to do what you want when she says yes, or is there a restricted repitoire? What I'm trying to understand is how this can be satisfying because, to be honest, it doesn't sound like it could be.


Because of all the emotions and resentment,anger and an unwillingness to make love for what ever reason.We remove all that stuff.How its like she knows she has ten different things she could use my help with and I am willing to do so .Just show me a little friendship,Stop being selfish with your body.Its now more about pleasure,comforting one another.I think when you have the mental things going on that are not good.Its just duty sex.But as we enter this new friendship thing she is really into making it worth while.It was funny the other day.She got out of bed and I stayed in bed.I was going to take care of myself.She walked back in the room and said Hey do you need some help with that.How cool is that??? A little bit too is its like a barter system.In the pass I could be pissed off all weekend because I didn't make love friday night.Or it had been 2 weeks. and I would get bitter.Now we do ea other favors.Sex is really so easy once you remove the baggage.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Well, if she always (or almost always) says yes and enthusiastically gets you off (even if she personally is not interested in it), then I could see how you could view it as a gift and take it in a positive way.

On the other hand, if you are like a puppy constantly begging for a treat only to be told no over and over again and then made to feel subservient when you finally get a crumb, then I think I would pass.

All depends on the execution, I guess.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Keep focusing on pleasuring each other and enjoying your mutual friendship and you'll be amazed where that relaxed relationship may take you. ;-) By the way that was her initiating asking if you needed some assistance!!!! Spreading her wings a little there .... getting a little assertive...don't forget to appreciate it and acknowledge it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

I am happy for you both. If you can both come to an honest and mutual agreement as friends would, and are both happy with it, that is great. 

However, I don't think that would work in my situation, or some others. I've done and done for my wife with the expectation she would want to do for me, or maybe, _do me _is the right term. That didn't help, it just got me more work. 

I think if I tried openly bartering with my wife for sexual favors, I would either end up with "duty" sex, or a huge build up in my sexual bank account that I could never make a withdrawal from. 

I never really viewed or wanted my sexual relationship with my wife to be akin to loaning out my lawnmower to my neighbor on Saturday, and on Sunday borrowing his chainsaw, but if it's working for you more power to you. 
I am glad that someone has found a solution to their sexual frustrations and shared the idea with the rest of us. We need more of that.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> If it's working for you then
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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