# Hey, New here.



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Welcome. Sorry you had to seek us out, but glad you found us.

You'll get lots of help and advice, here on TAM.

I suggest counselling. Individual and as a couple.

This can help immensely.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

You gave him 3 kids with your condition and then he betrays you. What a [email protected] How's the relationship? Affection, sex, date nights, ETC. What is he doing to win your trust? 

I'm going to strongly advise against cheating. It will make things worse. If you can't find it in your heart to forgive or he's not remorsefully working to prove his love, then just kick him to the curb. It is far better to leave the marriage with your head held high than to become a woman that commits adultery.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Are you very young


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Just wondering that myself.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

threelittlestars said:


> Im currently 28 almost 29.... I don't think I'm young, but I'm sure some may consider me a whipper snapper.


Believe me youre young. First and foremost take care of your health. You have 3 kids who love and need you. Secondly having thoughts about someone is not cheating, acting on it is. Thirdly decide what you want out of life, then make plans to achieve it. I wish you all the best, because quite frankly you deserve the best.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

You are in a vulnerable spot. You need to figure out if you want to be R or not.

He was trolling the net for hookups, it's not a 'mistake' or 'just happened' kind of thing. It's vulgar, deceitful and potentially dangerous. It's the kind of high risk behavior that if he hasn't come to grips with why he did it, he will repeat. 

If you are going to D, start the process now. Don't let it drag on. Then you can move on with your life and flirt and have some fun. You'll be busy most of the time being mom or dealing with your health. But you'll also be free to flirt with guys at the grocery store and be the mysterious woman in the check out line.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

threelittlestars said:


> He claimed he started out just wanting to trade pictures and talk about fantasies. He thought that was better and safer than the real thing...but that slope is a slippery one.
> 
> Then it progressed to talking about problems with me and life. ....Then it got to emotional connection. Cam girl stalked me on social media and said i was fat and parroted back my faults that he had talked to her about...and since he wanted to cheat why not just divorce me and they have a real go at things... He said it cooled a lot with her then because he did not react well to that conversation, cause she was disparaging of my being over weight. Especially because i was three months pregnant at that time he says. they mutually broke things off because she accused him of being all talk and if he really loved her he would have taken that trip they wanted to have. to hook up and bang... he agreed and said he thought she was too shallow for his real affections. And they were done.
> 
> ...


You know how to tell if a cheater is lying right? Their lips are moving. 

Assume everything he tells you about the affairs are lies, half truths and probably some omissions. Speaking of omissions, can you be sure a piece of ass didn't fall into his lap once, and once he got a taste of the forbidden fruit he was hooked?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## ManiacalMama (Jan 6, 2014)

It takes a long time to come to a decision. I'm 3+ years from D-day and I'm still not there. Then again he kept effing up.

FEAR has been my biggest obstacle. Was a SAHM for 20 years with a hand full of part time jobs off and on over the years. I'm finally going to school to finish my degree. Once I'm done with that I will make a final decision.

There is no hurry. If you decide to NOT decide right now, that's ok, and can actually feel like a relief. I've told my husband in the past I'm here for now, I can't promise anything more than that, and don't feel obligated to either.

Hang in there. Take care of you, no one else can be relied on to do it better than you. Feel secure in your indecision, it's normal and ok!


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here my Lady.

Please stop thinking so low about yourself and forget about open marriage. It will ruin you,trust me. Also forget about cheating on your side. You dont want to do this I belive. You sound like a good person,so stay that way.

I am around your age,so maybe you will not think about my words so seriously but there is a lot of good years in front of you and after all you have three kids. They will make you happy if your marriage fall down.

About your "weight" problems . I dont see anything bad judging by your profile picture. Some people like it better that way. Today we watch to much TV and those skinny girls and our brain is literally poisoned by them and all kinds of diet.

You should feel proud how you look my Lady. You gave birth to three beautiful childs and all that with your heart problems. That is for respect and you should not feel bad about it.

Now back to your story. You said he was a "good boy" last year which is nice to hear. Now he should go to some therapist and work on himself and your marriage,but remember you cant force him to do it. If he truly loves you and want to stay in your marriage he will choose this option.

I hope he gave you paswords of his fb,mail,phone and stuff like that. In good marriage there is no secrets,remember.

Talk openly about your problems,dont let them behind you because they will bite you later on. 

Stay strong my Lady and sry. for grammar mistakes.


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