# Weird E-mail Question



## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

So my husband and I have been dealing with him hiding things from me-porn in the past and now possibly start of an EA.

He has numerous email accounts. He gave me the log in and password to one indirectly today for me to log into a online store account to buy something. I assumed the password was the same and I logged into the account. He told me he rarely uses this account anymore which was true-there were very few emails sent or recieved in it. But I went to the address book and there were 100s of addresses. Most of them looked to be scam addresses but a lot of them were from Canadian domains..even a .gov from BC Canada (we're American and have been only a couple times) and Shaw.ca...Now I know the email system doesn't just add the addresses into the address book. You have to click and decide to add. So why do you think he had all these addresses? I am thinking it was from his porn obsession like 10 years ago-maybe he was using a file sharing site?

I know some will say that I shouldn't be snooping, invasion of privacy blah, blah but I say to that-I have a right to protect myself from Stds, ect and the only way I will find out anything is by snooping-unforunately.

If this is from 10 years ago-I am somewhat ok with it-We worked it out then and he claims he hasn't looked since-except he swore up and down he never paid for anything. If I find out differntly we are going to have some drama! I have been working 2 jobs approx 60 hours a week for the last 9 years to help pay for our lifestyle....Around that time 10 years ago-we almost got kicked off our cable/internet provider b/c supposedly he was downloading Star Wars movies and Lucas has a set of lawyers that were monitioring it...But I am guessing it was porn??

What do guys (and girls!) think is up with all the addresses. Trust me-he doesn't have that many friends. I didn't recognize any of the names...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ask him.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I'm a huge advocate of investigating (I dislike the word snooping, as if its dirty), but only if its justified by the red flags of an EA/PA. Investigating just because one is jealous or curious is wrong IMHO. An analogy would be like in law enforcement, there should be probable cause to believe a crime has been committed. 

If there is something in another thread, then post it here. This is why I think people should stick to one thread and not start multiple threads, its hard for people to keep up with your story if its spread out in multiple threads.


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Well I didn't mention that me asking him will A) Start another huge fight b/t us. "Why are you snooping", "Why don't you trust me", ect and B) I will get some BS answer of "it was all scam that got added to my address book on accident".

So I wanted to try to feel out what others think before I dive into another blow-out with him.


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Sorry LordMayhem...

Yes he has lied about texts, pix files ect of communication with a woman at work. He actually went to great lenghts to hide but the power of word of mouth still exists and I got a rumor about his behavior at work. Then I went investigating and found the pix, texts ect.

10 years ago he was spending hours (like days straight) looking at porn. It took me 3 weeks of asking him if he did it. Apparently he thought I would think our cat downloaded all the porn..

The lying is what is killing me.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Mrs1980 said:


> Sorry LordMayhem...
> 
> Yes he has lied about texts, pix files ect of communication with a woman at work. He actually went to great lenghts to hide but the power of word of mouth still exists and I got a rumor about his behavior at work. Then I went investigating and found the pix, texts ect.


Then you are absolutely justified in investigating, since there is cause for it. As for the email addresses, some are probably old, no doubt for those old porn sites, but some just may be being used for this affair with the coworker.

Install a keylogger, preferably one that has good stealth capabilities. This should get you the passwords to those accounts and tell you if he is using any accounts for his A.


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Thanks. In your opinion-how obvious are the the keyloggers? My H is an IT analyst so I am afraid he will find it...And he will be through the roof pissed if he does...


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Mrs1980 said:


> Thanks. In your opinion-how obvious are the the keyloggers? My H is an IT analyst so I am afraid he will find it...And he will be through the roof pissed if he does...


It depends. Since he's obviously tech savvy, you would have to go with a more expensive one rather than the free ones that are out there. I'm using Spy Agent myself, the stealth version that stealth installs, doesnt show up in the programs menu, and is a little bit tricky where I have to have exceptions made in the virus scanners so it wont be detected. There are others out there that are also stealthy. Specter Pro is one also. You can just shop online.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well Mrs1980... on the surface it does sound hokey that he has so many darn emails. That's weird, IMO.


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## TheFamilyMan (May 4, 2011)

is he involved in any business you may not know about? cause he could be using the emails you do not recognize for some kind of business... does he travel to Canada at all?


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

We've only gone to Canada on 2 occasions-Windsor and Toronto once each since we've been together. It looks like a lot of the addresses are west coast-Vancover Alberta British Columbia. He doesn't travel at all for business...Any ideas?


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Okay, so your predicament intrigued me. I put my own email address into the google bar, and it came up with emailfinder.com, and it also came up with my Picassa photos, which I could then click on and look at. I would keep quiet for now, and get the last 5 or so most recent addresses, plus any that stand out as very regularly used. Plug them into google from a computer NOT at your house, and see what you get. THen let us know.


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## mmiller1234576 (May 3, 2011)

Just my .02 on the emails piling up. There is a setting on a large number of ISP/Email providers that keep track and all all incoming email addresses to a persons address book. The idea is if your getting emails from someone, you would want to keep their address. 

one thing to look at is the sent items folder and see when it was accesses or used last. that could tell you if it has been uses recently. One other item is take the part after @blablabla.com and put it in a google search to see what types of companies they are. If you goto network solutions.com you can do a "whois" search and get some answers on what types of companies they are along with phone numbers and addresses


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

You can go to various sites to input email addresses and see what you find.

Go here, here, or here and input the email addresses under the correct section and hit submit. Sometimes you get results and sometimes you don't.


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