# Need sincere advice



## lover (Sep 13, 2014)

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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

If she tells you to leave her, send her back to her family and pay her way, and give her what she wants. 

But marrying a woman for good sex? That's pretty shallow and crazy. Why was sex such a huge factor? You don't have women in your own country that like sex? Or were you expecting a normal sexual relationship and she wound up being a huge dud?

Is she perhaps just totally unattracted to you and just married you for a better lifestyle?

I likely can't give you too much helpful advice. I'm from the USA and my culture is likely very different from yours. We have women here that love sex with their husband, and most ladies here marry for love. But there are still a lot of sexless marriages that people stay in because they're fearful of starting over. 

What are your plans to deal with this?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Divorce is in your future.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Reading your post I believe you see your W as property and for the sole purpose is to be at your bidding. Perhaps Indonesian women are not treated as such. I'm not familiar with the cultural norms for yours or your W country. 

At the end of the day, your W had detached from you. Probably will remain so.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Yeswecan said:


> Reading your post I believe you see your W as property and for the sole purpose is to be at your bidding. Perhaps Indonesian women are not treated as such. I'm not familiar with the cultural norms for yours or your W country.
> 
> At the end of the day, your W had detached from you. Probably will remain so.


This.

If you wanted a wife who is property who must obey you, you probably should have married someone from your own country.

Or.....you could just STOP seeing another human as property.


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## lover (Sep 13, 2014)

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## lover (Sep 13, 2014)

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## lover (Sep 13, 2014)

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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Buy her a pair of earphones for her iPad.


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## Oceania (Jul 12, 2018)

Why i married with foreign?
I have very high sex desire i thought foreign girl give me more pleasure.

Not the best way to start a marriage.

What you think is there any age factor involved in this matter? She's 5 years older than me I'm around 30 year old and she's more then 35 years...

Her age isn't the problem.

Maybe you just need to grow up a bit more. I could go on but I don't want to swing a 2x4.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you lived in North America or Europe, I'd advise you to divorce her, *learn* from the experience, and start over. Given the profound cultural differences, I don't know if that's possible for you. Perhaps you can get her permission to take a second wife, who will be more to your liking. I believe that's permitted, but not common. You could - perhaps - stay married and send her home to her family, along with some monthly support.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Have you asked her why she's not so passionate about sex? Is she Korean? She speaks Korean?

She may just have zero sex drive and it's not an important thing to her. But she is trying to satisfy you by having sex with you. That's something positive.

What kind of relationship do you have with her? What kind of day to day things do you do with her? Does she enjoy conversations with you? Does she say she thinks you're a super hot stud of a man?

I'm not totally getting this. There's nothing wrong with wanting good sex with one's wife, or telling her what you like as far as her appearance, as long as you aren't demanding. It doesn't seem you are.

It honestly sounds like she just married you to have a lazy lifestyle where she does basically nothing. She's not into you. She isn't into sex with you. These things are unlikely to change.

Don't feel badly about "sending her back". It didn't work out. Help her out financially until she gets on her feet. The both of you may be far happier. You haven't said much about what she's said about it, other than tells you to divorce her. Sounds pretty cut and dry to me. Divorce her.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Hello,
What was your courtship like before you married? Was she in love with you? Did she express a sexual desire for you at that time? 

Was your first year of marriage happy? Did she like sex with you at first? 

If the marriage was happy at first, but now she no longer shows affection or desire then she is in withdrawal because she thinks you only want her for sex and because you are not meeting her emotional needs. If you are making selfish demands and disrectful judgments this will also shut her down to you. Read the link below as a starting point if that is the case.

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html

If she wasn't into you from the start of the marriage then she married you for convenience and not out of love. If that is the case she will never be the sex partner you desire. The bottom line line is this: If you want a dynamite sex partner 1) she has to be in love with you (so read the link I sent you), and 2) she has to have a strong sex drive. If she married you for convenience then this won't work.


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## lover (Sep 13, 2014)

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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

lover said:


> *Whenever i complain she asked me to do second marriage for sex only and leave her but i don't want to leave her because she already left everything for me even her country* so i don't want to leave her...
> Please advise me what can i do....


She gives up her culture, her country, her family, her body, and her everything to you... and you complain it is not enough. 

Instead of complaining, ask her what it is she needs from you to feel loved...


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