# Child Support Lowering



## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

One of the questions I am having regarding my upcoming divorce is can my wife request a lower child support payment from me than what the state orders. She feels the amount the state will order is too much. I am trying to financially plan for this future I don't want but have to deal with.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

She can agree to the lower than the state mandated child support but she/her side would usually want something in return, other than a "I just feel sorry for you."

That's the job of attorneys - to help you think straight.

IF she goes to her attorney and says, "I feel sorry for him. . .I don't think he can afford it." he/she is going to say, "Uh, uh. . .I am not letting you walk away with nothing."

My suggestion would be to negotiate something fair. If the monthly support is too much, than perhaps you can surrender some home equity or something.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

In my state they look at actual expenses to help calculate an amount. They also take into consideration whether both parents are working. I remember turning in a complicated work sheet with all of that on it. I'm sure this varies from state to state.


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## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

Scannerguard said:


> She can agree to the lower than the state mandated child support but she/her side would usually want something in return, other than a "I just feel sorry for you."
> 
> That's the job of attorneys - to help you think straight.
> 
> ...


We are going through this divorce with out being represented. We are filling out all the paperwork together and agreeing on it before filing. Neither of us is out to get the other, we just want it done and done clean, without hurting either of our abilities to take care of our son and her son.

She feels what the court is going to order is simply too much and impacts my ability to maintain my existing home and provide a good environemnt for our son while he is here.

I just didn't know if the judge would accept that she wants $100-$200 a month lower than what the calculations from the form are going to mandate.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

My EXTREMELY limited understanding of this process is that the more you have worked out and agreed to beforehand, the smoother the process will go. In other words, a judge with 30 cases to hear in a day probably won't spend a lot of time grilling the two of you on something you've agreed to.


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## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

nice777guy said:


> My EXTREMELY limited understanding of this process is that the more you have worked out and agreed to beforehand, the smoother the process will go. In other words, a judge with 30 cases to hear in a day probably won't spend a lot of time grilling the two of you on something you've agreed to.


Good to know. Thanks.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

In my state it is a flat calculation. It is what it is. 

However, as our mediator pointed out, the divorce agreement is a guideline. It is the legal document that the court will defer to in the event of any discord in the future.

However, you and your wife can basically do whatever you both agree to outside of the purview of the court. If the two of you decide that despite the divorce agreement stating that you pay $500 a week in child support, you both settle at her getting $150 a week than so be it. The $500 only becomes enforceable if she eventually chooses to go after you for it. Worse ... she could conceivably recover it retroactively. Just be aware that the court isn't going to care much about a 'gentleman's agreement' between you and your ex.

Same holds true for a parenting plan or whatever else you wish to modify _after_ you are divorced.


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## BuddyL33 (Jul 16, 2009)

Deejo said:


> In my state it is a flat calculation. It is what it is.
> 
> However, as our mediator pointed out, the divorce agreement is a guideline. It is the legal document that the court will defer to in the event of any discord in the future.
> 
> ...


The only problem is that in the state of Kansas, all payments go through a system in the state. You don't make direct payments to the spouse.


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