# Being checked out



## lisad45

So I don't know exactly when I started to notice, or enjoy it, but I'd say for the last couple years, I've really enjoyed being noticed by other men. For whatever reason, probably age I'm guess, I notice when I get checked out. Especially at work, or at the gym. This is something I never really thought twice about, until recently. Any woman in the same boat?


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## Jellybeans

I like when I am checked out. It's flattering. (unless it's a creeper doing it).


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## over20

I like it too


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## soccermom2three

Hey, I'm 49, I'll take it. Just this week a guy at the store took a double take and made my day. (Or maybe I had food between my teeth, I don't know).


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## lisad45

soccermom2three said:


> Hey, I'm 49, I'll take it. Just this week a guy at the store took a double take and made my day. (Or maybe I had food between my teeth, I don't know).


lol that's how I feel at my age. Whenever I'm at the gym and a younger gentleman gives me a look, it makes all the working out..worthwhile


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## Faithful Wife

It's interesting that you never took notice of this before but just now have noticed. When I was young, that "who's zoomin' who" vibe was very fun and I totally noticed it everywhere, all the time...along with doing my own ogling and checking out. I can't imagine not noticing it back then, it started with little eye flirting in the 7th grade...I lived for it! 

So enjoy it now!


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## Jellybeans

"int he 7th grade."

Hahaha you are funny, Faithful!


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## lisad45

lol well I'm certainly enjoying it now


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## omgitselaine

I honestly never noticed either until my husband actually would point out to me when a guy has whether out drinking or simply grocery shopping. 

I guess he started to do this since i was working so hard at the gym to get my body back into shape like " pre mommy " days 

Now i do notice easily and quickly these ummm wandering eyes and dont actually mind them though I at first did ?? Now these eyes are more reinforcement that Im doing a good job working my ass off ahem ahem !!


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## Heartbroken84

I'm recently separated, lost a lot of weight & I've noticed guys checking me out - defo a confidence booster!!


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## Caribbean Man

soccermom2three said:


> Hey, I'm 49, I'll take it. Just this week a guy at the store took a double take and made my day. *(Or maybe I had food between my teeth, I don't know)*.


Do you have nice teeth?

I only " check out" a woman if she has two outstanding things.

1] A beautiful smile.
2] Nice teeth. [ doesn't matter if food's stuck in it!]


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## Stonewall

Mrs. John Adams said:


> No matter how old we get...it is always nice to know others find us attractive.
> I am a lady that wears mostly dresses...which is uncommon in this day and age...and I am a shoe girl.
> Mr. A loves when we go somewhere together and I get checked out...he usually takes my hand as if to say..nice huh? And she's mine.
> I love it!


That is totally me! I always wanted her dressed to the nines so she would get checked out. I think the arm candy deal was probably an ego boost for me like yep shes mine boys!

Oh btw I'm all about dresses and heels. It screams femininity!


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## johnAdams

Mrs. JA always gets checked out. Kind of funny, last year we stayed a few nights in an over 55 retirement community to see the possibility of retiring there when the time came. Anyway, it bordered on unbelievable how these "older" guys checked out Mrs. JA. I guess they figure they were retired and did not have to be political about it. I think Mrs. JA really started feeling self conscious during our stay.


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## Stonewall

johnAdams said:


> Mrs. JA always gets checked out. Kind of funny, last year we stayed a few nights in an over 55 retirement community to see the possibility of retiring there when the time came. Anyway, it bordered on unbelievable how these "older" guys checked out Mrs. JA. I guess they figure they were retired and did not have to be political about it. I think Mrs. JA really started feeling self conscious during our stay.


Mine has always had low self esteem in that area so I love for her to get checked out in hopes she will feel better about herself.


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## natural bodies

Yes, it's nice to be checked out so long as it does not border creepy. I'm in pretty good shape and think I'm attractive enough. However I don't see a lot of guys checking me out so when I do it's nice. There are a few older men where I work that tell me I'm attractive and my husband is a lucky man, etc... I did notice a man checking out my legs the other day in the store, he even doubled back for a second look.


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## NewHubs

natural bodies said:


> Yes, it's nice to be checked out so long as it does not border creepy. I'm in pretty good shape and think I'm attractive enough. However I don't see a lot of guys checking me out so when I do it's nice. There are a few older men where I work that tell me I'm attractive and my husband is a lucky man, etc... I did notice a man checking out my legs the other day in the store, he even doubled back for a second look.


Smooth sexy legs are my weakness. I'd look too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three

Caribbean Man said:


> Do you have nice teeth?
> 
> I only " check out" a woman if she has two outstanding things.
> 
> 1] A beautiful smile.
> 2] Nice teeth. [ doesn't matter if food's stuck in it!]


Ha, I do have nice teeth. I didn't need braces and had my first filling done at 25 and haven't had any cavities since.


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## Betrayedone

I'm a flagrant checker and a "checkee" on occasion (just a stupid guy so stuff often goes unnoticed by me) UNLESS I am with a lady friend then I NEVER check out other women as a courtesy to her (at least not so as she can tell)...............


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## Gonnabealright

Caribbean Man said:


> Do you have nice teeth?
> 
> I only " check out" a woman if she has two outstanding things.
> 
> 1] A beautiful smile.
> 2] Nice teeth. [ doesn't matter if food's stuck in it!]


Totally disagree, brocoli is soo not sexy.


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## Caribbean Man

natural bodies said:


> Yes, it's nice to be checked out *so long as it does not border creepy*.


Some guys just don't get this part^^^ right.:rofl:


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## WyshIknew

There is often a double standard.


"Wow, that hot young guy just checked me out."

*Walks with extra wiggle*


"Eeeew, that ugly loser just checked me out."

*Scowls at dirty pervy leching loser."


They both did exactly the same thing but the reaction is different.


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## syhoybenden

Jellybeans said:


> I like when I am checked out. It's flattering. (unless it's a creeper doing it).



Could you please define creeper for us?


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## Unique Username

It's better than smelling butts like dogs do, though!

lmao

AND sounds like I need to start checking out retirement communities if I wanna get checked out at someplace other than the supermarket !


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## Therealbrighteyes

frenchfry said:


> this just happened:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0husbvdyig
> 
> smelling hair is going to be a creeper move.
> 
> (this guy was probably not smelling her hair, but i have had a dude smell mine. That's...not good.)


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## WyshIknew

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I'll do it with pictures:
> 
> View attachment 17442


That's that guy that does the PUA stuff and gets women drunk, yes?


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## Therealbrighteyes

WyshIknew said:


> That's that guy that does the PUA stuff and gets women drunk, yes?


Yup, I deleted it though. Not worth the backlash. 

On topic, yes there are lots of creepy men out there who are blatant about their creepiness but I do think there are a lot of men who look at women and unfairly get tossed in to that category. I guess the difference is subtlety, perhaps also the attractiveness of the guy. 

"Creepy is a lot like porn. It's difficult to describe but I know it when I see it". It's subjective, that's for sure.


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## WyshIknew

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Yup, I deleted it though. Not worth the backlash.
> 
> On topic, yes there are lots of creepy men out there who are blatant about their creepiness but I do think there are a lot of men who look at women and unfairly get tossed in to that category. I guess the difference is subtlety, perhaps also the attractiveness of the guy.
> 
> "Creepy is a lot like porn. It's difficult to describe but I know it when I see it". It's subjective, that's for sure.


I look sometimes, I'm human.

However I don't leer and I get a fair few smiles back so I don't think I'm viewed as a perv when I look.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

syhoybenden said:


> Could you please define creeper for us?


Spent a lunch-hour viewing a local attraction (museum with old penny-arcade machines, etc.) with 3 co-workers. A couple of caretakers came in with a group of mentally-retarded adults. Everyone was wandering around up and down aisles checking out the machines.

My friend, 'R' came up to me on the verge of tears and said, "SGW this guy is following me around! We need to leave." I internally rolled my eyes and thought 'seriously...grow up', but instead I said, "So?!?....." 'R' said, "He LICKED my sweater!!!" and she pointed to her left back shoulder blade! 

She looked like she couldn't decide between crying and puking! I told her to go wait outside, I rounded up our other 2 co-workers, and when we got outside I told them what happened. We were rolling around on the ground laughing :rofl: tears running down our faces! This was probably 18 years ago and I still ask her, "How's life? Met any more sweater-lickers?"

*This* is the definition of 'creeper'! :smthumbup:


ETA: I'm not making fun of the mentally-handicapped; it was just a funny/creepy incident and I guess she should be glad he licked the BACK!


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## TiggyBlue

Creepers are the ones who will follow you into the ladies toilets.


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## WyshIknew

TiggyBlue said:


> Creepers are the ones who will follow you into the ladies toilets.


That sounds worse than a creeper to me.


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## EntirelyDifferent

FrenchFry said:


> This just happened:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0HUSBvDYIg
> 
> Smelling hair is going to be a creeper move.
> 
> (this guy was probably not smelling her hair, but I have had a dude smell mine. That's...not good.)


When I was in college, I dyed my nearly waist-length hair bright blue. I was standing in line at the grocery store one day, and the guy behind me randomly started stroking my ponytail, then stuck his face in it and started breathing really heavy. I was sort of non-confrontational and timid and had NO idea what to do, so I was just kind of frozen there. After a minute or so, he dropped it, exclaimed "Oh, this is REAL hair!" and ran off. People were always kind of kooky about the blue color, but that was one of the weirder experiences I had with it. 

On the actual topic, I never usually notice people checking me out. Occasionally, I'll be out somewhere with my SO and he'll point out people who he thinks are looking, but it's not something that crosses my mind to think about. He loves it, though.


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## Therealbrighteyes

WyshIknew said:


> I look sometimes, I'm human.
> 
> However I don't leer and I get a fair few smiles back so I don't think I'm viewed as a perv when I look.


There's nothing wrong with looking, we all do it. I guess it's a fine line between what constitutes a look and a leer but each person is different as to where that line is. 

For what it's worth, I highly doubt any woman finds you to be a creeper. In fact, I'm certain of it.


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## sh987

Jellybeans said:


> I like when I am checked out. It's flattering. *(unless it's a creeper doing it)*.


Honest question: is that code word for "unattractive man"?


***
EDIT

Well, that's what I get for responding before reading through the thread. The question was asked well ahead of my posing it. Disregard mine specifically.


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## omgitselaine

sh987 said:


> Honest question: is that code word for "unattractive man"?
> 
> But of course it is  though a handsome guy an easily fall into this same category depending on his actions eewww !?!?


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## Therealbrighteyes

EntirelyDifferent said:


> I never usually notice people checking me out. Occasionally, I'll be out somewhere with my SO and he'll point out people who he thinks are looking, but it's not something that crosses my mind to think about. He loves it, though.


My husband is the same way. He never notices women checking him out, yet I do. I point it out to him and he just laughs. He's a really good looking guy and not lacking in confidence yet thinks he is average in looks. Let's just say if I dropped dead tomorrow, there are a few of my frienemies who wouldn't wait until my body was cold to make a move on him.


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## Jellybeans

sh987 said:


> Honest question: is that code word for "unattractive man"?


It's a shady man who leers and is strange. Who gives off a creepy vibe, hence, "creeper."


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## ScarletBegonias

I only notice the creepers,never the normal dude just glancing and appreciating my look. DH notices every person who looks at me,it's like he has a radar for it. "that dude walking by looked down your tank top hardcore.what a tool.how obvious."

It's good I don't notice though.I always think the worst and never take it as a compliment. "they're staring bc I look weird or made a stupid face."


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## lisad45

I don't even mind the creepers lol. If they think I'm attractive enough to check me out, yay for me. lol


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## ScarletBegonias

It's rare for me to notice creepers too unless they're obvious.The handful of times it has happened were actually really scary...like follow you through the mall scary. 
I'm still happy I don't notice people when they stare,that stuff freaks me out and plays on my social anxiety.


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## Jellybeans

MissFroggie said:


> Or says weird things...without knowing you.


Yes. Yes, that, too. Especially when they will NOT stop contacting you. Total creeper, Froggie. :rofl:


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## DvlsAdvc8

Never understood what was creeper about getting checked out. Followed -yes. Touched -yes. Looked at? An obsessive stare maybe.

Honestly, I want the woman I'm checking out to notice I'm checking her out. Rarely seems to happen - telepathy would be useful. Other times, I'm mesmerized and lock on, oblivious to everything else; only to shake it off a moment later and realize I should have smiled or said something.

I rarely notice getting checked out myself though, unless I'm driving - I see it or imagine it all the time when driving for some reason. My ex used to say I was getting checked out all the time but I never saw it. I wonder how much of this is real and how much is partner bias - every look is "getting checked out".


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## Jellybeans

Dvls, there is absolutely a difference between the way a creeper is versus a man w ho is checking you out in a normal sense.

As a woman, I can tell you, that from an early age, we know the difference. Part of the female experience and all that. It's just one of those things that men won't experience the way a woman does.


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## lisad45

I admit today that I dressed up nice for work, even though it's freezing out, in hopes of getting a few glances. lol


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## Caribbean Man

Whether or not a woman puts a man who's checking her out in the
" creepy" or " perv " category depends on how she feels at that time and if she approves of his stare or approach.

If she thinks he's good looking , she responds positively or at least neutral.
If she doesn't think he's good looking ,she is repulsed and builds up a defence.
But whether he's good looking or not, if he has attitude, he's a winner.


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## Married but Happy

My wife seldom notices when a guy is checking her out, so I usually have to let her know. And she is checked out, often. Despite her age (early 50's), she's noticed by men from 20's to decrepit. She is slim, large busted, lovely smile, pretty face, and dresses nicely.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?

I'm an observant person, and I regularly notice women out and about who seem to have their heads on a swivel. Looking around beyond what's in front of them repeatedly as if they're looking for someone, but they're out alone. They look distracted. I intuit that they're looking for someone looking; just a wild guess, but its like they're trying to catch someone checking them out. They linger here and there seemingly without purpose, looking around aimlessly and seem to survey the distance often.

I'll notice many in places people go just to be "in public"... coffee shops... book stores (you can tell when someone is more interested in who else is shopping than they are in the books).


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## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?
> 
> I'm an observant person, and I regularly notice women out and about who seem to have their heads on a swivel. Looking around beyond what's in front of them repeatedly as if they're looking for someone, but they're out alone. They look distracted. I intuit that they're looking for someone looking; just a wild guess, but its like they're trying to catch someone checking them out. They linger here and there seemingly without purpose, looking around aimlessly and seem to survey the distance often.
> 
> I'll notice many in places people go just to be "in public"... coffee shops... book stores (you can tell when someone is more interested in who else is shopping than they are in the books).


I admit to doing this lol


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## Caribbean Man

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?
> 
> I'm an observant person, and I regularly notice women out and about who seem to have their heads on a swivel. Looking around beyond what's in front of them repeatedly as if they're looking for someone, but they're out alone. They look distracted. I intuit that they're looking for someone looking; just a wild guess, but its like they're trying to catch someone checking them out. They linger here and there seemingly without purpose, looking around aimlessly and seem to survey the distance often.
> 
> I'll notice many in places people go just to be "in public"... coffee shops... book stores (you can tell when someone is more interested in who else is shopping than they are in the books).


You forgot to mention the mall.:rofl:


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## lisad45

Hey after a long day of work, the gym, making dinner, doing laundry, sometimes it's nice to throw on something that will catch some attention, and go get some errands done. lol


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## Jellybeans

Caribbean Man said:


> Whether or not a woman puts a man who's checking her out in the
> " creepy" or " perv " category depends on how she feels at that time and if she approves of his stare or approach.
> 
> If she thinks he's good looking , she responds positively or at least neutral.
> If she doesn't think he's good looking ,she is repulsed and builds up a defence.


Disagree. A man can be physically attractive and a total creeper. It's the way he looks at her. (This works for men who aren't necessarily attractive to a woman, he may not give off the creeper vibe). 

It's not a "how she feels" thing either. I can be in a great mood and get a creep vibe from a guy and it goes to sh!t.


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## Jellybeans

lisad45 said:


> Hey after a long day of work, the gym, making dinner, doing laundry, sometimes it's nice to throw on something that will catch some attention, and go get some errands done. lol


Agreed. A lot of times I just put on some really sexy underwear on under my clothes to run normal errands and it makes me feel really attractive/sexy. 

It's the little things.


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## Jellybeans

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?


No. Usually when I leave home it's with the purpose of doing something, like running an errand.


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## lisad45

Jellybeans said:


> Agreed. A lot of times I just put on some really sexy underwear on under my clothes to run normal errands and it makes me feel really attractive/sexy.
> 
> It's the little things.


Yoga pants. lol


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## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?


Just reading that makes my anxiety level spike :rofl: The goal is to get in and out of public without being noticed. DH likes to f**k with my head by telling me I fail every time.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Caribbean Man said:


> You forgot to mention the mall.:rofl:


Yeah... I don't go to the mall unless I have to buy something there. haha


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Yoga pants. lol


Dvls kryptonite. I literally get weak for yoga pants.


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## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Dvls kryptonite. I literally get weak for yoga pants.


I love them! They are so comfortable, and they make the booty stand out lol


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## NewHubs

lisad45 said:


> I love them! They are so comfortable, and they make the booty stand out lol


Especially with a thong


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## lisad45

NewHubs said:


> Especially with a thong


:iagree:


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## NewHubs

Aside from Yoga pants, sundresses can be sexy too depending on the "type" of panties she wears :smthumbup:


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## lisad45

NewHubs said:


> Aside from Yoga pants, sundresses can be sexy too depending on the "type" of panties she wears :smthumbup:


Sometimes with those, nothing is needed lol


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## NewHubs

lisad45 said:


> Sometimes with those, nothing is needed lol


Good Point!


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## sh987

LOL

I definitely get how ladies perceive the difference between a quick and appreciative glance from a man and a slack-jawed and creepy stare. Already got that.

I was just wondering if anybody here considered an unattractive man respectfully checking them out to be creepy. I think it's a pretty horrendous double standard, but I do get it. I can't think that women all over get themselves dolled up in an attempt to get a fugly dude.

Then again... What's unattractive, and to whom is that look unattractive, right?


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## Jellybeans

sh987 said:


> I was just wondering if anybody here considered an unattractive man respectfully checking them out to be creepy.


Not me. I've been checked out by dudes I don't consider attractive at all. That doesn't make them creepy. Unless they are CREEPERS (creepers can also be unattractive). Haha.


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## SadSamIAm

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you ladies ever go wandering around in public... say, go the store when you don't really need to, or wander extra isles, in hopes of being checked out?
> 
> I'm an observant person, and I regularly notice women out and about who seem to have their heads on a swivel. Looking around beyond what's in front of them repeatedly as if they're looking for someone, but they're out alone. They look distracted. I intuit that they're looking for someone looking; just a wild guess, but its like they're trying to catch someone checking them out. They linger here and there seemingly without purpose, looking around aimlessly and seem to survey the distance often.
> 
> I'll notice many in places people go just to be "in public"... coffee shops... book stores (you can tell when someone is more interested in who else is shopping than they are in the books).


I think it is great when someone 'checks out' my wife. She is a good looking lady. 

I wouldn't like it if she was intentionally wandering around in public 'trying' to get checked out.


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## DvlsAdvc8

NewHubs said:


> Especially with a thong


Or nothing.


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Sometimes with those, nothing is needed lol


DAMN! Beat me too it!!! :rofl:


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## SpinDaddy

Jellybeans said:


> Dvls, there is absolutely a difference between the way a creeper is versus a man w ho is checking you out in a normal sense.
> 
> As a woman, I can tell you, that from an early age, we know the difference. Part of the female experience and all that. It's just one of those things that men won't experience the way a woman does.


So I’m guessing the shared eye contact, a smile, a verbal acknowledgement – these little things would be signs of the “non-creeper” experience?

That’s the greatest part in appropriately “checking women out” that little acknowledgement between two people. It may be sexual at its base, but overall in the bigger picture, I think it’s a tribe of humanity thing.


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## SadSamIAm

SpinDaddy said:


> So I’m guessing the shared eye contact, a smile, a verbal acknowledgement – these little things would be signs of the “non-creeper” experience?


I was thinking the opposite.

If I happen to notice a nice lady, I just politely look. If she happens to look at me (eye contact) then I look away. I don't want to give her the impression that I am interested in her (cause I'm married). 

I would think that prolonged eye contact along with a smile or verbal acknowledgement is going further than just 'checking someone out'. 

To me, I would think that would put the person in the 'creeper' category.


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## ScarletBegonias

"hey you're beautiful"
"thanks"
"wanna give me your number?"
"thanks but no,I'm happily married"
"that don't make no difference baby,what's that gotta do wit me?"

CREEPER.

lol true story.


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## lisad45

I normally don't look at their face. I try to remain "clueless" to the fact I'm getting checked out. There was one instance where I did look at a guy when he was checking me out, and he stared me right the eye..I looked away quick. I found it sexy lol


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## Married but Happy

lisad45 said:


> and he stared me right the eye..


He was bolder than most. They'll just stare you right in the chest.


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## SpinDaddy

SadSamIAm said:


> I was thinking the opposite.
> 
> If I happen to notice a nice lady, I just politely look. If she happens to look at me (eye contact) then I look away. I don't want to give her the impression that I am interested in her (cause I'm married).
> 
> I would think that prolonged eye contact along with a smile or verbal acknowledgement is going further than just 'checking someone out'.
> 
> To me, I would think that would put the person in the 'creeper' category.


A smile or a "Hi". That's all. I do that with Dudes too. Usually the "Dude Nod" or the "Hey".


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## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> I normally don't look at their face. I try to remain "clueless" to the fact I'm getting checked out. There was one instance where I did look at a guy when he was checking me out, and he stared me right the eye..I looked away quick. I found it sexy lol


I love that feeling. I just wish it were a little bit more obvious which ones looked away because its a submissive show of interest, and which ones looked away because they weren't interested to begin with.


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## omgitselaine

lisad45 said:


> I normally don't look at their face. I try to remain "clueless" to the fact I'm getting checked out. There was one instance where I did look at a guy when he was checking me out, and he stared me right the eye..I looked away quick. I found it sexy lol


I also prefer to pretend to not notice or be oblivious to a guy " peeking " ....... it gives me an opportunity to umm show more if i wanted to ( in an innocent way of course  ) ahem ahem or at least keep a guy from saying something or confronting me


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## Married but Happy

Sometimes I'll notice a woman checking me out, and if I do I smile and nod. Sometimes a woman notices me checking her out, and again I'll just smile and nod and go on my way.


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## I Notice The Details

NewHubs said:


> Aside from Yoga pants, sundresses can be sexy too depending on the "type" of panties she wears :smthumbup:


:iagree: 1,000,000,000,000% 

Yoga pants....do stop me in my tracks....especially with the thong...OH MY!


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## I Notice The Details

Jellybeans said:


> Agreed. A lot of times I just put on some really sexy underwear on under my clothes to run normal errands and it makes me feel really attractive/sexy.
> 
> It's the little things.


Very well said JB! It is those little details that we love to notice.


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## WyshIknew

Sundress?

Are those the sort of peasant looking skirts that are a bit see through?

And you can just see their knickers through them?

I'm a married guy but those things drive me fricking wild with lust in the summer.


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## NewHubs

WyshIknew said:


> Sundress?
> 
> Are those the sort of peasant looking skirts that are a bit see through?
> 
> And you can just see their knickers through them?
> 
> I'm a married guy but those things drive me fricking wild with lust in the summer.


Where I work that is all you see in the summer during lunch. Good thing I have good vision because I have seen plenty of "see throughs"


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## I Notice The Details

NewHubs said:


> Where I work that is all you see in the summer during lunch. Good thing I have good vision because I have seen plenty of "see throughs"


Those ladies have NICE details in those sun dresses!!!

Add sandals and sexy feet and it is very hard not to stare!!!!


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## WyshIknew

Jellybeans said:


> Agreed. A lot of times I just put on some really sexy underwear on under my clothes to run normal errands and it makes me feel really attractive/sexy.
> 
> It's the little things.


In my own experience it is not just women that do this.

I always feel better when I am wearing Calvins or Armani undies. I know nobody can see them but I *feel* better.

I think I _strut_ more when wearing 'good' undies.


----------



## happi_g_more2

lisad45 said:


> So I don't know exactly when I started to notice, or enjoy it, but I'd say for the last couple years, I've really enjoyed being noticed by other men. For whatever reason, probably age I'm guess, I notice when I get checked out. Especially at work, or at the gym. This is something I never really thought twice about, until recently. Any woman in the same boat?


I look forward to seeing over on the "Coping with infidelity" section. jk :rofl:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> Agreed. A lot of times I just put on some really sexy underwear on under my clothes to run normal errands and it makes me feel really attractive/sexy.
> 
> It's the little things.


I'm the creeper looking around wondering which of the women running normal errands are having a sexy underwear day.


----------



## karma*girl

The only time I think it's rude for another guy to look is when he's obviously with his wife or g/f. In that case I (personally) find it very rude.
I always have so much respect for a guy when he can walk right past a hot girl without even glancing- that's strength...well, unless he's gay( :
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lisad45

What else is very flattering, is when younger men check me out. My sons friends are in the 18-24 range, and a couple of them definitely give me the look. I can't help but love it. lol


----------



## WyshIknew

One of my sons friends 'fancies' Mrs Wysh.

They are always ribbing him about it.


----------



## NewHubs

lisad45 said:


> What else is very flattering, is when younger men check me out. My sons friends are in the 18-24 range, and a couple of them definitely give me the look. I can't help but love it. lol


Stop wearing those yoga pants around them


----------



## kimd

My husband likes me to be noticed but not touched. At times when we are in bed, he says to me did you see that guy looking at you today. He loves it when I then give him what they will never have from me.


----------



## lisad45

NewHubs said:


> Stop wearing those yoga pants around them


Absolutely not lol


----------



## NewHubs

lisad45 said:


> Absolutely not lol


:circle: Drools....


----------



## happi_g_more2

NewHubs said:


> :circle: Drools....


I think this qualifies as an EA


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Yoga pants always make me emotional too.


----------



## sinnister

I do some checking out but I always get disgusted looks or quick head turns when I get caught. I always thought I was hedious or something, until I checked myself out in the rear view mirror one day after a particularly humbling encounter at a red light. 

Conclusion: I have this bizarre, almost criminal looking scowl on my face when I check a woman out. It's like I'm purposely trying blow up their head with my evil stare down.

No wonder these poor women want to run when they see my face. I would too.


----------



## youkiddingme

One most memorable experience.....! I was in line at a grocery store and as I got closer to the cashier I noticed that she was Dressed.....Way Hot. She had on skin tight pants and they were just curvey in all of the right places. When it was my turn to move up, it was like time stood still. She gave me a smile and turned her back to me and bent over as if to retrieve something that she had dropped....but more like she was saying "check this out." She just seemed to stay that way forever. I was speechless. When she stood up she turned and just smiled. I slowly shook my head and smiled back at her. She asked me if anything was wrong? I just smiled again and leaned towards her and said, "Oh no mam. You just look amazing." She smiled and gave me my receipt.... Yes, I think she loved being checked out!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

sinnister said:


> I do some checking out but I always get disgusted looks or quick head turns when I get caught. I always thought I was hedious or something, until I checked myself out in the rear view mirror one day after a particularly humbling encounter at a red light.
> 
> Conclusion: I have this bizarre, almost criminal looking scowl on my face when I check a woman out. It's like I'm purposely trying blow up their head with my evil stare down.
> 
> No wonder these poor women want to run when they see my face. I would too.


:rofl: I too have an involuntary face when I'm checking someone out... but its more of a smirk or small smile. I've received a couple comments about it during that early dating, feeling each other out stage when people tell the "meeting" story from their perspective or what they noticed. One girl thought I looked a little c*cky, and another thought I looked cute/shy. Total opposites.

Apparently my smirk means whatever they want it to mean, but I'll take it over scowling like a criminal. I was trying to imagine such a scowl and because your SN is "sinister", I keep coming up with this hilariously evil face.

"Damn check her out!!" *evil face* :rofl: I'm sorry... this really hits my funny bone. That is awesome, thanks for sharing... I have a whole Saturday Night live skit developing in my mind.


----------



## Jellybeans

youkiddingme said:


> She asked me if anything was wrong? I just smiled again and leaned towards her and said, *"Oh no mam. You just look amazing."* She smiled and gave me my receipt....


That is really sweet.


----------



## sinnister

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> :rofl: I too have an involuntary face when I'm checking someone out... but its more of a smirk or small smile. I've received a couple comments about it during that early dating, feeling each other out stage when people tell the "meeting" story from their perspective or what they noticed. One girl thought I looked a little c*cky, and another thought I looked cute/shy. Total opposites.
> 
> Apparently my smirk means whatever they want it to mean, but I'll take it over scowling like a criminal. I was trying to imagine such a scowl and because your SN is "sinister", I keep coming up with this hilariously evil face.
> 
> "Damn check her out!!" *evil face* :rofl: I'm sorry... this really hits my funny bone. That is awesome, thanks for sharing... I have a whole Saturday Night live skit developing in my mind.


LOL. It's so strange. The randomness of it all. I mean, picture a promo for a really cheesy, typical criminal in a crime drama, then multiply that face by 10. That's my "checking her out" face.

My wife said she was afraid of me when we first met. I could never understand why until that day. *Evil Face*


----------



## NewHubs




----------



## happi_g_more2

I was driving down the street one day while away at school. I saw this POA walkin down the street. She was walking in the same direction as I was driving (not towards me) as i slowly drove by, she looked and we locked eyes. It was super hot. I gave her my "damn girl" smile. She cracked the coyest little smile.....right as I rear ended the car in front of me. Nothing says "cool guy" like radiator steam coming out the hood of your car.


----------



## sinnister

happi_g_more2 said:


> I was driving down the street one day while away at school. I saw this POA walkin down the street. She was walking in the same direction as I was driving (not towards me) as i slowly drove by, she looked and we locked eyes. It was super hot. I gave her my "damn girl" smile. She cracked the coyest little smile.....right as I rear ended the car in front of me. Nothing says "cool guy" like radiator steam coming out the hood of your car.


HA HA HA HA HA.

Crazy!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

FrenchFry said:


> Really...POA?


Karma's a bish isn't it?


----------



## sinnister

FrenchFry said:


> Really...POA?


Now now...It's not like we're in the ladies lounge or anything. Wait a minute....:scratchhead:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

:lol:


----------



## happi_g_more2

sinnister said:


> Now now...It's not like we're in the ladies lounge or anything. Wait a minute....:scratchhead:


Sista please. God damn if people arent sensitive around this joint. It was college...its a meat market. yes, piece of ass. Im sure she was nice, very intellectual girl. In that instance however, she was a piece of ass. You have been someones POA, your husband (or wife if you are gay) has viewed other women as a POA and dont even sit here and say you've never looked at a man (or woman if you're gay) and went no deeper then what they looked like.


----------



## lisad45

In the locker room at the gym last week, a couple early 20 year old girls were talking about an older gentleman checking them out. They commented how gross it was. Meanwhile, they are wearing shorts that are just about longer than underwear, and tiny tank tops. lol

I can't stand girls like that! If you dress like that, you have to accept that everyone is going to be checking you out.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Happi, we all know that feeling, but the rest comes down to tact. This isn't the locker room, its the lady's section of this forum.


----------



## lisad45

I take no offense to POA. It's a compliment lol


----------



## happi_g_more2

lisad45 said:


> I take no offense to POA. It's a compliment lol


Word.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> I can't stand girls like that! If you dress like that, you have to accept that everyone is going to be checking you out.


I've never understood that.


----------



## NewHubs

I'm still thinking about yoga pants :corkysm60:


----------



## omgitselaine

lisad45 said:


> I take no offense to POA. It's a compliment lol


I concur !!!! I can think of a lot worse things to be called than a POA hellooooooo !!!!


----------



## happi_g_more2

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Happi, we all know that feeling, but the rest comes down to tact. This isn't the locker room, its the lady's section of this forum.


I see what your saying, but I just dont think that using an acronym to describe the way i was looking at someone is tactless. I didnt call anyone here a POA or say that all women were a piece of ass. Cliche i know, but this is a problem with our society. Everyone is so god damn sensitive.


----------



## sinnister

happi_g_more2 said:


> Sista please. God damn if people arent sensitive around this joint. It was college...its a meat market. yes, piece of ass. Im sure she was nice, very intellectual girl. In that instance however, she was a piece of ass. You have been someones POA, your husband (or wife if you are gay) has viewed other women as a POA and dont even sit here and say you've never looked at a man (or woman if you're gay) and went no deeper then what they looked like.


I am guilty of many things. Being sensitive is not one of them. And I rarely ever get mistaken for female even on the interwebs. I thought people could smell my musk through their screens but maybe I was wrong?

I'm chuckling to myself because I actually agree with you. When you're seeing a woman hot enough to grab your attention you're think what a hot POA. Not what I fine upstanding citizen she must be.

The difference is I wouldn't type it here. A good general doesn't fight every battle presented to him. He chooses the right time to engage. Some call it tact, decorum, others a filter. To me, it didn't bother me much personally cause I have dong. Might offend some of the hot POA's in here though.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> I take no offense to POA. It's a compliment lol


And to a lot of other women its offensive. Have you seen how long the "objectification" threads get? You don't walk into someone else's clubhouse and throw out terms that you know insult many of the members.

And happi, trust me, I'm not sensitive... you must be new here. lol 

I call it what it is: classless. Class is being aware of where you are and how to act. You're in a sub-forum where women come to relate mostly to each other, and you're going to make a reference to "a piece of ass"?


----------



## happi_g_more2

lisad45 said:


> In the locker room at the gym last week, a couple early 20 year old girls were talking about an older gentleman checking them out. They commented how gross it was. Meanwhile, they are wearing shorts that are just about longer than underwear, and tiny tank tops. lol
> 
> I can't stand girls like that! If you dress like that, you have to accept that everyone is going to be checking you out.


Dude(et), I KNOW!!!! what is it now a days. Im late 30's and on a daily basis, I gross myself out looking at women 1/2 my age cause they walk around flat naked. They are gossed out, Im grossed out, my wife is grossed out, but its a hot female with her ass hanging out...how do you not check it out. Before anyone says it, my wife and I are like that...we have very good open relationship with looking at strangers.


----------



## happi_g_more2

sinnister said:


> I am guilty of many things. Being sensitive is not one of them. And I rarely ever get mistaken for female even on the interwebs. I thought people could smell my musk through their screens but maybe I was wrong?
> 
> I'm chuckling to myself because I actually agree with you. When you're seeing a woman hot enough to grab your attention you're think what a hot POA. Not what I fine upstanding citizen she must be.
> 
> The difference is I wouldn't type it here. A good general doesn't fight every battle presented to him. He chooses the right time to engage. Some call it tact, decorum, others a filter. To me, it didn't bother me much personally cause I have dong. Might offend some of the hot POA's in here though.


Pretty sure I quoted the wrong message


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> And to a lot of other women its offensive. Have you seen how long the "objectification" threads get? You don't walk into someone else's clubhouse and throw out terms that you know insult many of the members.


So silly. A compliment is a compliment. I don't know about everyone else, but whenever I meet, or even look at someone long enough, I mentally decide whether or not they are someone I'd want to be intimate with. Maybe not 100% of the time, but 75%. lol


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> So silly. A compliment is a compliment. I don't know about everyone else, but whenever I meet, or even look at someone long enough, I mentally decide whether or not they are someone I'd want to be intimate with. Maybe not 100% of the time, but 75%. lol


Ha, no... all compliments are not equal. Yes, most people do that snap judgment too. Yet most men have enough class to not walk into a room full of women talking about the "piece of ass" they just saw walk by.

Oh. My. God... I can't believe ***I*** have been left the only one defending having a modicum of class. The end of days is nigh. SMH


----------



## NewHubs

sinnister said:


> When you're seeing a woman hot enough to grab your attention you're think what a hot POA. Not what I fine upstanding citizen she must be.


You could say "she's a nice girl, I quite fancy her"


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

NewHubs said:


> You could say "she's a nice girl, I quite fancy her"


Or... you could, you know... just replace "POA/piece of ass" with "woman" and make the exact same point while not communicating "I'm a classless douche" to the mostly female audience of "The Ladies' Lounge". But hey, whatever floats your boat.


----------



## happi_g_more2

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Ha, no... all compliments are not equal. Yes, most people do that snap judgment too. Yet most men have enough class to not walk into a room full of women talking about the "piece of ass" they just saw walk by.
> 
> *Oh. My. God... I can't believe ***I*** have been left the only one defending having a modicum of class. The end of days is nigh. SMH*


Drama queen!!!


----------



## happi_g_more2

FrenchFry said:


> Apparently that's being too PC. My freedoms and whatnot.


Did someone infringe upon your freedoms?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

happi_g_more2 said:


> Did someone infringe upon your freedoms?


That rush of wind over your head was the point you missed.

btw, its not being a drama queen to think that its inappropriate to make POA references on a subforum dedicated to women supporting women in marriage. I know and share exactly the same feeling you're expressing. That I'm defending "class" is kinda funny because I'm pretty well known on this forum for being edgy and antagonistic. This however, is "the ladies lounge" - probably not where women go to hear guys talk about pieces of ass. 

The difference between us is called "etiquette".


----------



## happi_g_more2

I guess I missed her point....as you are missing mine

Its very noble of you to point out my lack of etiquette in this virtual "ladies lounge" but the fact is that the woman that started the thread enjoyed the comment and considers it a compliment. You can play the chivalrous knight in shinning armor protecting the delicate sensibilities of the women on this forum, and I can play the insensitive male chauvinist, thats fine, I have no problem with that. Im willing to get past your overly sensitive nature if your willing to get past my ever so crude and offensive tone. In other words, can we move past this now?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

I find being called a piece of ass offensive unless it's coming from my DH when he's being deliberately ridiculous 

Not many things offend me but that one just hits me wrong. Even when it isn't directed at me it gets my back up.


----------



## sinnister

ScarletBegonias said:


> I find being called a piece of ass offensive unless it's coming from my DH when he's being deliberately ridiculous
> 
> Not many things offend me but that one just hits me wrong. Even when it isn't directed at me it gets my back up.


That was my only point.

I'm not a PC guy by any stretch. If I saw you walking down the street I would THINK "wow what a hot POA". But I wouldn't SAY "damn what a hot POA".

The difference is huge. 

Filter vs. no filter.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Happi, I'm not being chivalrous. The comment shows a total lack of class. Own up to it. Dont be a wimp and call me oversensitive to deflect from your having said something douchey.

Its classless. Its douchey. Its juvenile. Its unnecessary. Just dont do it. Really easy.


----------



## happi_g_more2

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Happi, I'm not being chivalrous. The comment shows a total lack of class. Own up to it. Dont be a wimp and call me oversensitive to deflect from your having said something douchey.
> 
> Its classless. Its douchey. Its juvenile. Its unnecessary. Just dont do it. Really easy.



Did you use the word douchey (x2) and then call me juvenile? bahahahahahahahah. Im owning up to 2 things. 1 im pretty much a rough, alpha, and when I see a hot chick I call them a piece of ass. I didnt call anyone on this site a piece of ass so I apologize for nothing. 2, you are an over sensitive drama queen. Own up to it. Really easy.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Now this is some interesting sh*t right here.

(popcorn)


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

Jellybeans said:


> Disagree. A man can be physically attractive and a total creeper. It's the way he looks at her. (This works for men who aren't necessarily attractive to a woman, he may not give off the creeper vibe).
> 
> It's not a "how she feels" thing either. I can be in a great mood and get a creep vibe from a guy and it goes to sh!t.


So true! A company I worked for hired two new guys and they were in a co-worker's office. I had to see co-worker about something, so I stopped in and that's when I 'met' the new guys. One was normal and the other was CREEPY! (they were both alright looking).

I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt really uncomfortable. I got back to where I worked and the women were all standing around talking. They asked me if I'd met the new guys and what did I think? One of the other women said, "OMG, Bennie looked me over and I feel like I NEED A SHOWER!"

I said, "THANK YOU! That is EXACTLY how I feel, but I couldn't put my finger on it." He just had a brazenly disrespectful way of leering at women (remember, he was just meeting each of us for the first time) that made you feel like he was picturing you getting banged by him and he was trying to decide if you would measure up!

It was disgusting and creepy! The single CREEPIEST man I've EVER met! Totally a PERV!


----------



## happi_g_more2

Faithful Wife said:


> Now this is some interesting sh*t right here.
> 
> (popcorn)


grab a coke while you're at it

oh, and I dont mean that in a offensive, chauvinistic, get back in the kitchen, I love watching you walk away, kind of way. I simply mean im sure you are very strong, independent, intelligent woman, and know this already.....but popcorn makes some people thirsty.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

happi_g_more2 said:


> Did you use the word douchey (x2) and then call me juvenile? bahahahahahahahah. Im owning up to 2 things. 1 im pretty much a rough, alpha, and when I see a hot chick I call them a piece of ass. I didnt call anyone on this site a piece of ass so I apologize for nothing. 2, you are an over sensitive drama queen. Own up to it. Really easy.


LMFAO, you think that's alpha? Just a heads up, alphas dont need to claim being alpha (which you just did) and being alpha doesn't mean talking about women as pieces of ass. You're prototype wannabe alpha. 5 seconds out the gate and your beating your internet alpha chest already. Yeah, you're alpha.  :rofl:

I didn't ask for an apology. I said dont be a classless douche. You're not hurting my feelings, or being alpha, you're just making yourself look like trailer trash. Totally up to you.


----------



## youkiddingme

This has been an interesting, FUN, light hearted discussion. Until the last four pages. You all kill the discussion. I suggest taking your off topic arguments to private messages. It is tiring to have people derail discussions with their personal arguments.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Whaaa...??!!?

I thought the personal arguments were why we are all here!!

Damn.


----------



## happi_g_more2

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> LMFAO, you think that's alpha? Just a heads up, alphas dont need to claim being alpha (which you just did) and being alpha doesn't mean talking about women as pieces of ass. You're prototype wannabe alpha. 5 seconds out the gate and your beating your internet alpha chest already. Yeah, you're alpha.  :rofl:
> 
> I didn't ask for an apology. I said dont be a classless douche. You're not hurting my feelings, or being alpha, you're just making yourself look like trailer trash. Totally up to you.


Look bro, you dont know me...at all. Or how alpha I am or not. You just dont. What we do know is that you think that when I use an acronym like "POA" to describe a woman I saw in college it's super duper offensive in a ladys forum, yet it's cool for you to throw out douche (4x). whaaaaaa????. Can you say hypocrite? Now, I'm not gonna try and out do you on the emoticons, cause clearly you got that ****. Man, double emoticons, that's some crazy ass stuff. It stings...really. As everyone has point it out now. Lets be big boys and drop it. I promise to all, no matter what super intellectual vocabulary man comes back with (douche..you kiddin me), I wont bite. Im out of this fight.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

happi_g_more2 said:


> Did someone infringe upon your freedoms?


Well, I'm another one that votes for:


*POA* being classless and generally offensive
"*sista*" to FrenchFry or ANYONE ELSE being DOUCHE-baggy, classless and generally offensive

As Devils pointed out: you should KNOW your audience! I throw the eff-bomb around like nobody's business, but I try to refrain from doing it around my 90 yo parents...it's not their thing.

But, I'm pretty sure you're not interested in anyone's honest opinion...you just wanna be "right". And you want your "right" to be "right".

...yeah, whatever!


----------



## WyshIknew

So does being the checkee and liking/enjoying it imply a certain amount of exhibitionism? "Look at me"


----------



## Faithful Wife

For some, yeah.

I have a gf who is a true exhibitionist (and part time stripper) and when she's awalkin' down the street, she expects it and will linger around for it. I'm always like "jesus, c'mon woman" and she's like "but wait, dude over there wants a peek". I would call her a wh*re but she'd just say "glass houses, b*tch".


----------



## john1068

lisad45 said:


> So I don't know exactly when I started to notice, or enjoy it, but I'd say for the last couple years, I've really enjoyed being noticed by other men. For whatever reason, probably age I'm guess, I notice when I get checked out. Especially at work, or at the gym. This is something I never really thought twice about, until recently. Any woman in the same boat?


My wife is in the same boat. She's a red-head, and she has always been quite the looker, even as she's aged, gained a few pounds...she never notices it, but I do. Twice in the past few months, she's noticed it (that she's told me about, anyway), she was "hit on"...and she liked it. It provides her much needed non-husband validation. I'm _supposed to_ find her hot (I actually DO). While other men, well, it's good for her ego.


----------



## Omego

I draw the line when it becomes animalistic. I like receiving appreciative glances and smiles from men. I like when strangers make special efforts to open doors, help out, etc. because it's flattering. 

But I remember one particular incident which really struck me.

We were at a party and I had to go back in to pick up something I forgot. H was in the car. Well, the host, who is the perfect example of a well-brought up guy, was drunk. I can tell you that the look he gave me, while trying to chat me up about harmless stuff, was worse than some guy yelling "hey baby" or even hey "POA" out of a car. Way worse. It was the look of a predator. Seeing through the person, completely swayed by lust. 

I'm sure he did not realize it, as the alcohol had taken control, and I see him all the time at other social gatherings. He's really pleasant and nice. But I've seen other guys drunk, and I can tell you that this is first time I've seen this worse than lecherous look. 

Boy, if he had even tried to touch me, the resounding slap across the face would have pretty much woken him up from his stupor.

Sorry to darken this thread.... !


----------



## Jellybeans

Faithful Wife said:


> I would call her a wh*re but she'd just say "glass houses, b*tch".


:rofl:


----------



## always_alone

MissFroggie said:


> It is something that is difficult to define about the way they look at you, or their body language, or both! It's like they look at you too intensely but they're not _looking_ at you, they're _imagining_ you! It's gross!


I agree. I think those types don't see *you* at all. They just see the hot POA. 

Indeed, I'm inclined to think those types who think of women as POA are very likely (usually?) the creeper types as well. 

I know if I ever heard that expression used to refer to any woman, I'd quickly end that conversation -- permanently. 

Very surprised that anyone would view it as a compliment.


----------



## Shazz1991

lisad45 said:


> So I don't know exactly when I started to notice, or enjoy it, but I'd say for the last couple years, I've really enjoyed being noticed by other men. For whatever reason, probably age I'm guess, I notice when I get checked out. Especially at work, or at the gym. This is something I never really thought twice about, until recently. Any woman in the same boat?


I love it when I'm checked out - and so does hubby. I won't say that I encourage it, but,......


----------



## lisad45

always_alone said:


> I agree. I think those types don't see *you* at all. They just see the hot POA.
> 
> Indeed, I'm inclined to think those types who think of women as POA are very likely (usually?) the creeper types as well.
> 
> I know if I ever heard that expression used to refer to any woman, I'd quickly end that conversation -- permanently.
> 
> Very surprised that anyone would view it as a compliment.


So you've never looked at a man, and though "What a hunk!"??

To go as far as to as say people who look at a woman and think she's a POA is quite ridiculous. That would make every man a creeper. 

At my age, with having kids, and a full time career, if a man were to think of me as a POA, I would absolutely take it as a compliment.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Maybe it's just a matter of standards. It takes more than someone thinking I'm a fine piece of ass to flatter me but maybe that stems from being on the receiving end of some pretty epic compliments over the years. 

Either way, whatever line puts a smile on a person's face is good


----------



## lisad45

ScarletBegonias said:


> Maybe it's just a matter of standards. It takes more than someone thinking I'm a fine piece of ass to flatter me but maybe that stems from being on the receiving end of some pretty epic compliments over the years.
> 
> Either way, whatever line puts a smile on a person's face is good


Really, the whole POA thing is quite irrelevant. I haven't heard the term POA used in quite a long time. And if you see a guy checking you out, there's no way to know what the hell he is thinking anyway lol.

But to say whoever thinks of someone as a POA is a creeper, is taking it a bit too far.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

It's taking it a bit too far for you but others might feel it's perfectly reasonable. It's all about the behavior you're accustomed to from others. If your life experience has shown you it's common for a man to tell a woman she's a hot piece of ass as a compliment then you'll be one who doesn't feel it makes him a creeper. If your life experience has shown you it's common for a man to tell a woman she's beautiful,pretty,lovely,etc then you may feel being called a piece of ass is creepy and offensive. 

Personally,I don't find it creepy.Just offensive and it makes me want to say to the man "that's the best you can do?"


----------



## lisad45

Well first off, there's a huge difference between saying, and thinking. I've been speaking in terms of what someone is thinking.

Secondly, there is a even bigger difference between what a man says, and what he thinks.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's taking it a bit too far for you but others might feel it's perfectly reasonable. It's all about the behavior you're accustomed to from others. If your life experience has shown you it's common for a man to tell a woman she's a hot piece of ass as a compliment then you'll be one who doesn't feel it makes him a creeper. If your life experience has shown you it's common for a man to tell a woman she's beautiful,pretty,lovely,etc then you may feel being called a piece of ass is creepy and offensive.
> 
> Personally,I don't find it creepy.Just offensive and it makes me want to say to the man "that's the best you can do?"


True, but I think you missed lisad45's point. She's talking about someone (earlier in the thread, I guess) who believed that guys thinking "POA" in their own private brains was somehow 'creepy' behavior. As opposed to guys saying out loud (to a woman's face or within earshot and obviously about HER) that she's a "hot POA". I think we women can ALL agree that *that* guy is a "hot POS"!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> True, but I think you missed lisad45's point. She's talking about someone (earlier in the thread, I guess) who believed that guys THINKING "POA" in their own private brains was somehow 'creepy' behavior. As opposed to guys saying out loud (to a woman's face or within earshot and obviously about HER) that she's a "hot POA". I think we women can ALL agree that *that* guy is a "hot POS"!


I got her point..the difference between thinking it and saying it. If he lets that POA thought turn his expression in a leer instead of an appreciative glance,any woman of somewhat average intelligence will get the message.Then she can decide if he's creepy,offensive,or a-ok.

He can think whatever he wants.But the second his body language and facial expression reveals an inkling of what those thoughts are he's automatically opening himself up for judgment from others.


----------



## lisad45

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> True, but I think you missed lisad45's point. She's talking about someone (earlier in the thread, I guess) who believed that guys thinking "POA" in their own private brains was somehow 'creepy' behavior. As opposed to guys saying out loud (to a woman's face or within earshot and obviously about HER) that she's a "hot POA". I think we women can ALL agree that *that* guy is a "hot POS"!


Thank you!

This thread is about being checked out. Not compliments. Two different things lol


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

:rofl: I've been waiting for someone to bust out the "hot POS" reply. It was just a matter of time.


----------



## lisad45

ScarletBegonias said:


> I got her point..the difference between thinking it and saying it. If he lets that POA thought turn his expression in a leer instead of an appreciative glance,any woman of somewhat average intelligence will get the message.Then she can decide if he's creepy,offensive,or a-ok.
> 
> He can think whatever he wants.But the second his body language and facial expression reveals an inkling of what those thoughts are he's automatically opening himself up for judgment from others.


Are you suggesting a man is unable to think of a woman as a POA without leering, or showing body language?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

lisad45 said:


> Are you suggesting a man is unable to think of a woman as a POA without leering, or showing body language?


No,Lisa,I am not suggesting that and nowhere did I imply that.


----------



## lisad45

MissFroggie said:


> That's what she's saying now, but it isn't what she said
> 
> Also, writing it online is the same as saying it, not thinking it. Thoughts are private. I'm not sure any of us have been talking about being offended by thoughts. How could you be offended by someone's thoughts? You can't know them unless they say it...which is where the lack of respect comes in (for some of us).


When I said I'd take it as a compliment, which you thoughtfully went back and quoted for us, it was in reference to someone driving down the street, and THINKING a woman was a POA.


----------



## lisad45

ScarletBegonias said:


> No,Lisa,I am not suggesting that and nowhere did I imply that.


Then you've lost me..

You understood my point about thinking and saying.

Then you brought up leering, which isn't really part of the discussion.

Then you bring up body language, and facial expressions, which again, I'm not sure where that is coming from.

As the thread goes, when a man checks me out, I enjoy it. I don't really stand and contemplate what is he thinking, or wait to watch his facial expressions.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

lisad45 said:


> Then you've lost me..
> 
> You understood my point about thinking and saying.
> 
> Then you brought up leering, which isn't really part of the discussion.
> 
> Then you bring up body language, and facial expressions, which again, I'm not sure where that is coming from.
> 
> As the thread goes, when a man checks me out, I enjoy it. I don't really stand and contemplate what is he thinking, or wait to watch his facial expressions.


Yes...you've gotten lost.


----------



## lisad45

ScarletBegonias said:


> Yes...you've gotten lost.


And I thank you for that.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> So true! A company I worked for hired two new guys and they were in a co-worker's office. I had to see co-worker about something, so I stopped in and that's when I 'met' the new guys. One was normal and the other was CREEPY! (they were both alright looking).
> 
> I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt really uncomfortable. I got back to where I worked and the women were all standing around talking. They asked me if I'd met the new guys and what did I think? One of the other women said, "OMG, Bennie looked me over and I feel like I NEED A SHOWER!"
> 
> I said, "THANK YOU! That is EXACTLY how I feel, but I couldn't put my finger on it." He just had a brazenly disrespectful way of leering at women (remember, he was just meeting each of us for the first time) that made you feel like he was picturing you getting banged by him and he was trying to decide if you would measure up!
> 
> It was disgusting and creepy! The single CREEPIEST man I've EVER met! Totally a PERV!


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> :rofl: I've been waiting for someone to bust out the "hot POS" reply. It was just a matter of time.


...and it's the snarky old woman....who'd a thunk!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> When I said I'd take it as a compliment, which you thoughtfully went back and quoted for us, it was in reference to someone driving down the street, and THINKING a woman was a POA.


This is just mental gymnastics to attempt to resolve the incongruity of the past posts. If all he was doing was thinking you're a POA, you have no reason to take it (POA) as a compliment - unless you're telepathic. Rather, you're saying you take being checked out as a compliment. Most of us agree. In fact the cases that are not, the leers and creepers, are not viewed positively for the very reason that they betray a lack of respect.

But then, if being a POA is complimentary at all, why differentiate thought from action? Why not feel complimented when someone says "Hey get over here you POA?"

POA isn't complimentary. It says you're a piece of meat. You're a thing to be used. Its dismissive. Its as stupid as a woman hooting at a man, "get over here fat wallet", but its a perfect analogous equivalent. Its backhanded. Its appreciating a specific quality without showing you any respect. You are just a POA - that's the entirety of your value and entirely interchangeable.

Its not about being politically correct, beta or chivalrous. "You HAVE a great @ss" is still a compliment, albeit a bit crude. "You ARE a great PIECE of @ss" is demeaning. See the difference? The latter is complimentary only to those desperately seeking validation and worth to bolster their low core self-esteem. Think more highly of yourself overall than to take it as complimentary.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> This is just mental gymnastics to attempt to resolve the incongruity of the past posts. If all he was doing was thinking you're a POA, you have no reason to take it (POA) as a compliment - unless you're telepathic. Rather, you're saying you take being checked out as a compliment. Most of us agree. In fact the cases that are not, the leers and creepers, are not viewed positively for the very reason that they betray a lack of respect.
> 
> But then, if being a POA is complimentary at all, why differentiate thought from action? Why not feel complimented when someone says "Hey get over here you POA?"
> 
> POA isn't complimentary. It says you're a piece of meat. You're a thing to be used. Its dismissive. Its as stupid as a woman hooting at a man, "get over here fat wallet", but its a perfect analogous equivalent. Its backhanded. Its appreciating a specific quality without showing you any respect. You are just a POA - that's the entirety of your value and entirely interchangeable.
> 
> Its not about being politically correct, beta or chivalrous. "You HAVE a great @ss" is still a compliment, albeit a bit crude. "You ARE a great piece of @ss" is demeaning. See the difference? The latter is complimentary only to those desperately seeking validation and worth to bolster their low core self-esteem. Think more highly of yourself overall than to take it as complimentary.


Well firstly, kudos on breaking it down so eloquently.

Secondly, why? lol

I simply said I'd take it as a compliment in the context of a man driving down the street, happens to see me, and thinks "she's a hot POA." It's as simple as that. I didn't once think about all the other factors, as you do delicately put.


----------



## lisad45

MissFroggie said:


> Are you suggesting you can know what a man is thinking without him saying it or showing it?


Yes, clearly that's exactly what I meant.

Btw, is using a Harry Potter reference in regards to your earlier statement supposed to strengthen it or something?

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## NewHubs

Well this thread took an interesting turn


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Well firstly, kudos on breaking it down so eloquently.
> 
> Secondly, why? lol
> 
> I simply said I'd take it as a compliment in the context of a man driving down the street, happens to see me, and thinks "she's a hot POA." It's as simple as that. I didn't once think about all the other factors, as you do delicately put.


^ See, you've got dismissive compliment down pat. 

Why does everyone harp on my writing style!? lol. As to why, well, breaking things down and organizing concepts is just what I do.

I read what you said, but some of what I'm saying is you can't take his "thinking" anything as a compliment, because you don't know what he's thinking. He might be thinking, "man, I'd like to duct tape her, throw her in my trunk, use her up and leave her in a ditch somewhere." We all like being checked out, but how its done matters. That's why leering gets a negative review.

You want to be thought hot. Don't let someone demean you down to being a piece of @ss. Respect for yourself should come before your sense of your attractiveness.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> ^ See, you've got dismissive compliment down pat.
> 
> Why does everyone harp on my writing style!? lol
> 
> I read what you said, but some of what I'm saying is you can't take his "thinking" anything as a compliment, because you don't know what he's thinking. He might be thinking, "man, I'd like to duct tape her, throw her in my trunk, use her up and leave her in a ditch somewhere." We all like being checked out, but how its done matters. That's why leering gets a negative review.
> 
> You want to be thought hot. Don't let someone demean you down to being a piece of @ss. Respect for yourself should come before your sense of your attractiveness.


Let's go over it one more time.

I said I'd take is as a compliment in the context of someone driving by, and thinking it. Why are you bringing up all these other things? It has absolutely nothing to do with why I said. Let's stay on point.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Let's go over it one more time.
> 
> I said I'd take is as a compliment in the context of someone driving by, and thinking it. Why are you bringing up all these other things? It has absolutely nothing to do with why I said. Let's stay on point.


For the third time: "you can't take his "thinking" anything as a compliment, because you don't know what he's thinking."

Do you know someone's thoughts? How then can you take a thought as a compliment? Whether thought or action, how is being expressly cast as an object a compliment? Is it complimenting if a woman wants a guy for income?

These aren't "other things". This is a direct, singular point.


----------



## Jellybeans

MissFroggie said:


> Sirius Black was the ultimate POA - Prisoner of Azkaban.


Is that a Transformer?


----------



## Jellybeans

Am I wrong for WANTING someone to look at me and think "She's a hot POA?" Cause I think it could be sexy. To think a man could see me and imagine all of the ways he wants to ravish me is kind of...hot. To know that I inspire that fantasy.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> For the third time: "you can't take his "thinking" anything as a compliment, because you don't know what he's thinking."
> 
> Do you know someone's thoughts? How then can you take a thought as a compliment? Whether thought or action, how is being expressly cast as an object a compliment? Is it complimenting if a woman wants a guy for income?
> 
> These aren't "other things". This is a direct, singular point.


Do you realize that we are talking about a hypothetical situation here?

In this case, yes, I do know exactly what he thought, because that's what the whole point of the conversation is.


----------



## NewHubs

I guess for me when I see a "POA" walking down the street I'll admire her "hotness" and quickly wonder if she is good in bed. And after that I move on from it.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Jellybeans said:


> Am I wrong for WANTING someone to look at me and think "She's a hot POA?" Cause I think it could be sexy. To think a man could see me and imagine all of the ways he wants to ravish me is kind of...hot. To know that I inspire that fantasy.


Do you think this doesn't happen? Honest question.

Because it surely does!


----------



## Conrad

Jellybeans said:


> Am I wrong for WANTING someone to look at me and think "She's a hot POA?" Cause I think it could be sexy. To think a man could see me and imagine all of the ways he wants to ravish me is kind of...hot. To know that I inspire that fantasy.


Jelly, I've actually been meaning to tell you something....


----------



## Jellybeans

Aww, shucks, Conrad.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> Am I wrong for WANTING someone to look at me and think "She's a hot POA?" Cause I think it could be sexy. To think a man could see me and imagine all of the ways he wants to ravish me is kind of...hot. To know that I inspire that fantasy.


That happens all the time, you just don't know.

For you to know, he'd have to be overt... and that's were you get "leering" and being called a "hot POA". I'm inclined to think you appreciate the intensity of the desire rather than the "POA" comment specifically. Everyone wants to be intensely desired. Do you really want to be a piece of @ss? Honest question. If so, I stand corrected.

But I intuit that this is not dissimilar from any number of fantasies... they seem to work perfectly in your mind, but then when it happens in real life you're like "woah... dude is a creepy mf-r" or "azzhole". The concept of being intensly sexually desired is great. The implementation... how a guy shows the intensity of his sexual desire for you, is most often just creepy.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That happens all the time, you just don't know.


How do you know this happens all the time?

This would require you to be some sort of psychic!!

{Insert lame Harry Potter reference here}


----------



## lisad45

MissFroggie said:


> Maybe it's time for us to all lighten up and remember the thread wasn't about being psychic, it was about being checked out


Or about Harry Potter


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> How do you know this happens all the time?
> 
> This would require you to be some sort of psychic!!
> 
> {Insert lame Harry Potter reference here}


Nice try, but no. You have the majority of men on this very thread owning up to such thoughts... myself included. All of my male friends relate similar thoughts. The sum of reported experience is that most of us do it. In our minds, its raw.

Conceptually, many women want to be the recipient of raw desire; Yet running around calling women "hot POAs", isn't a very effective strategy for getting her. The mental concept of it... the fantasy of it... isn't the reality of it.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Nice try, but no. You have the majority of men on this very thread owning up to such thoughts... myself included. All of my male friends relate similar thoughts. The sum of reported experience is that most of us do it. In our minds, its raw.
> 
> While conceptually women want to be the recipient of raw desire, in reality, things are quite a bit more nuanced.


Nice try? So let me get this straight. You are allowed to take the assumption and know things which you have no way of knowing. 

However, I'm not able to go under the assumption that a hypothetical man thought of me as a POA?

That's funny how that works.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

comedy break...


----------



## Jellybeans

Spot on, Scarlet!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

nothing like a cute little sexist meme to lighten the mood


----------



## lisad45

Yes, let's move on from this please. lol


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> Nice try? So let me get this straight. You are allowed to take the assumption and know things which you have no way of knowing.


Do you actually read my posts or do you look at the first sentence and hit reply? There's no assumption. You have virtually every guy in this thread owning up to having such thoughts. Every guy I know has them. I put this in the very post you're quoting. smh.



lisad45 said:


> However, I'm not able to go under the assumption that a hypothetical man thought of me as a POA?


You can assume anything you want, but do you really want to be a piece of @ss to someone? Or is it really as I intuit: you want to be desired, and only in your head does such a raw expression fly. In reality, I think most women have more self-respect than to want to be a piece of @ss. But hey, I'm not a woman. You tell me. Like I said, fantasy conception of it is quite different than real implementation - hence leering and creepers.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DH just sent a text,no lie, "baby,you are one hot,sexy,f**kable piece of ass" 

someone is reading tam again...

LOL


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

MissFroggie said:


> This is true! It has been said many times by many posters.


Yep, but this is where my attempts to point out nuance always get me in trouble for looking like I'm claiming to know what women want better than they do.

Hey, if you really want to be a piece of @ss cool... its certainly not difficult for men to oblige.


----------



## NewHubs

ScarletBegonias said:


> DH just sent a text,no lie, "baby,you are one hot,sexy,f**kable piece of ass"
> 
> someone is reading tam again...
> 
> LOL



I hope that Mr Scarlet capitalizes on this later


----------



## ScarletBegonias

NewHubs said:


> I hope that Mr Scarlet capitalizes on this later


:smthumbup:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> DH just sent a text,no lie, "baby,you are one hot,sexy,f**kable piece of ass"
> 
> someone is reading tam again...
> 
> LOL


THAT is a perfect use of the expression imo.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you actually read my posts or do you look at the first sentence and hit reply? There's no assumption. You have virtually every guy in this thread owning up to having such thoughts. Every guy I know has them. I put this in the very post you're quoting. smh.
> 
> 
> 
> You can assume anything you want, but do you really want to be a piece of @ss to someone? Or is it really as I intuit: you want to be desired, and only in your head does such a raw expression fly. In reality, I think most women have more self-respect than to want to be a piece of @ss. But hey, I'm not a woman. You tell me. Like I said, fantasy conception of it is quite different than real implementation - hence leering and creepers.


What I've noticed about your posts are that you tend to ramble on and on. You dance around the point, bringing up irrelevant thoughts of yours, instead of sticking to the point.

I've also noticed you seem to edit a lot of your posts. So I'm not sure if you're doing that to change what you said, or what?

And you're going to the piece of ass thing AGAIN. As we established, it was hypothetical, so you bringing it up, and trying to assume what a womans positions would be is irrelevant again. 

You are quite good at dodging the actual topic at hand. I applaud you. :smthumbup:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Yep, I'm wordy. Tell me something I don't know. If you think its dancing around the point you are completely missing the point. Apparently the length of my posts is necessary, given you keep asking questions that I already addressed. Let me get this straight, I "ramble", but you end up asking a question that I already specifically addressed in my "ramble" that wasn't on point? Seriously? You're hurting my brain with that one. Did you ever think that if you READ, you wouldn't have needed to ask the question I already answered?

I often edit my posts for clarity and typos. I have a bad habit of proofreading after submitting.

It doesn't matter if its hypothetical... its still a discussion of the concept at hand. What am I dodging? You want to be thought of as a piece of ass? Okay then.


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yep, I'm wordy. Tell me something I don't know. If you think its dancing around the point you are completely missing the point. Apparently the length of my posts is necessary, given you keep asking questions that I already addressed. Let me get this straight, I "ramble", but you end up asking a question that I already specifically addressed in my "ramble" that wasn't on point? Seriously? You're hurting my brain with that one. Did you ever think that if you READ, you wouldn't have needed to ask the question I already answered?
> 
> I often edit my posts for clarity and typos. I have a bad habit of proofreading after submitting.
> 
> It doesn't matter if its hypothetical... its still a discussion of the concept at hand. What am I dodging? You want to be thought of as a piece of ass? Okay then.


It doesn't matter if it's hypothetical? The fact that I said "I would consider poa as a compliment" is the whole reason behind your whole little pointless crusade. So obviously it matters.

I'd love to know what is the point of it? You seem to put yourself in a womans place quite a bit. 

You are now shrugging it off like "whatever, if a woman wants to be thought of a poa with no self respect, that's cool."

But at the same time, you can't let it go. I think you just like to have the last word, no?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

lisad45 said:


> It doesn't matter if it's hypothetical? The fact that I said "I would consider poa as a compliment" is the whole reason behind your whole little pointless crusade. So obviously it matters.
> 
> I'd love to know what is the point of it? You seem to put yourself in a womans place quite a bit.
> 
> You are now shrugging it off like "whatever, if a woman wants to be thought of a poa with no self respect, that's cool."
> 
> But at the same time, you can't let it go. I think you just like to have the last word, no?


I'm totally good with not having the last word. Its just that your comprehension is all over the map. You tried to dismiss the discussion by saying your statement was hypothetical. I said it doesn't matter if its hypothetical, not that the discussion doesn't matter! Why would hypothetical matter? Its still a topic being discussed and we're all here for discussion. Are we not allowed to discuss your hypotheticals? Then, you say I'm rambling, but my "ramble" had already addressed your next question.



lisad45 said:


> You are now shrugging it off like "whatever, if a woman wants to be thought of a poa with no self respect, that's cool."


I ended the last post with what I perceive your position to be, as you have expressed it: "You want to be thought of as a piece of ass? Okay then." Am I wrong? Is this not an accurate phrasing of your "hypothetical" position? :scratchhead: Did you not say you would consider POA a compliment? So why not just say "yep, I'm a piece of ass" and this discussion ends? If you want to be thought of as a piece of ass, I'm cool with that... your wants are yours.

If I've accepted your position, why do you keep arguing? You don't like how I've adjusted the context ever so slightly. Can you see that this shows exactly how context affects your liking or disliking the idea of being a "piece of ass"? Being a POA in your mind's eye has a perfectly desirable context. In reality, the guy expressing such sentiment, even non-verbally, is regarded as leering, creepy or an azzhole. Again, the fantasy of it vs the reality of it. 

I feel like this is going right over your head, so I'll just leave it at that.


----------



## NewHubs

Sort of like what became of this thread


----------



## happi_g_more2

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm totally good with not having the last word. Its just that your comprehension is all over the map. You tried to dismiss the discussion by saying your statement was hypothetical. I said it doesn't matter if its hypothetical, not that the discussion doesn't matter! Why would hypothetical matter? Its still a topic being discussed and we're all here for discussion. Are we not allowed to discuss your hypotheticals? Then, you say I'm rambling, but my "ramble" had already addressed your next question.
> 
> 
> 
> I ended the last post with what I perceive your position to be, as you have expressed it: "You want to be thought of as a piece of ass? Okay then." Am I wrong? Is this not an accurate phrasing of your "hypothetical" position? :scratchhead: Did you not say you would consider POA a compliment? So why not just say "yep, I'm a piece of ass" and this discussion ends? If you want to be thought of as a piece of ass, I'm cool with that... your wants are yours.
> 
> If I've accepted your position, why do you keep arguing? You don't like how I've adjusted the context ever so slightly. Can you see that this shows exactly how context affects your liking or disliking the idea of being a "piece of ass"? Being a POA in your mind's eye has a perfectly desirable context. In reality, the guy expressing such sentiment, even non-verbally, is regarded as leering, creepy or an azzhole. Again, the fantasy of it vs the reality of it.
> 
> I feel like this is going right over your head, so I'll just leave it at that.


You HAVE a nice azz, douch e bag  

Seriously guys, get over it


----------



## lisad45

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm totally good with not having the last word. Its just that your comprehension is all over the map. You tried to dismiss the discussion by saying your statement was hypothetical. I said it doesn't matter if its hypothetical, not that the discussion doesn't matter! Why would hypothetical matter? Its still a topic being discussed and we're all here for discussion. Are we not allowed to discuss your hypotheticals? Then, you say I'm rambling, but my "ramble" had already addressed your next question.
> 
> 
> 
> I ended the last post with what I perceive your position to be, as you have expressed it: "You want to be thought of as a piece of ass? Okay then." Am I wrong? Is this not an accurate phrasing of your "hypothetical" position? :scratchhead: Did you not say you would consider POA a compliment? So why not just say "yep, I'm a piece of ass" and this discussion ends? If you want to be thought of as a piece of ass, I'm cool with that... your wants are yours.
> 
> If I've accepted your position, why do you keep arguing? You don't like how I've adjusted the context ever so slightly. Can you see that this shows exactly how context affects your liking or disliking the idea of being a "piece of ass"? Being a POA in your mind's eye has a perfectly desirable context. In reality, the guy expressing such sentiment, even non-verbally, is regarded as leering, creepy or an azzhole. Again, the fantasy of it vs the reality of it.
> 
> I feel like this is going right over your head, so I'll just leave it at that.


It's funny because it seemed that it all ended. I even said, let's just move on, and you, the valiant crusader gallops back with more dribble.

The discussion at hand was about a man who drove by and thought, "she's a poa". And I said, that I would view this as a compliment. Meaning, if a guy drove by, hell, let's say Michael Buble drove by, saw me, and thought that. Because this isn't real life, I know that's exactly what he thought, because I just said so.

However, what do you do? You take it to a whole new level, and argue that "How could you possibly know that he thought that? How do you know he doesn't want to kidnap you, and lock you up?" Tell me oh forum warrior, why would you bring this silly scenario into the discussion? It has nothing to do with your argument. So, yes, it actually does that matter that this is a hypothetical situation. 

It's obvious that you just look for little debates. Because if you didn't, you wouldn't have went on with your little crusade about self respect, and all the other non sense. The fact that you responded about not caring about the last word, shows me, and everyone, that in fact you do care. You care quite a bit. 

Now while you care so so much about how you are perceived here, I honestly don't. I'm still a newb here. I signed up to kill some time at work, and chit chat. You on the other hand, want to show off everyone how intellectual you are. And why is that? Is there are a reason you respond as if this is some high spirited, intellectual debate? You even take the time to correct your grammar. For realz? 

I made the thread about being checked out. Where it went off about creepers, and all the other non sense, I'm not sure. But you, you my darling take the cake. The way you picked such a silly debate is rather comical. 


At the gym, I noticed someone checking me out, in fact, he looked right at my ass. I noticed for a second, not enough to know what exactly what he was thinking, or if he was a creeper, and guess what? I enjoyed it. Wow, how little self respect I must have. Ha!

So, maybe now, let's really move on, eh? 

But you'll be back...I know you'll be back little one.


----------



## youkiddingme

It would be cool to have a counselor on here right now that could explain to us what is up with folks that just cannot let things go. To explain the issues they are dealing with. Why it is that they just HAVE to keep arguing and defending and cannot let it go. No one else cares about the argument.....but they cannot let it go. I wish someone could come along and diagnose the mental issues these folks are dealing with. They have ruined a fun and light hearted discussion......and they just keep going, and going, and going.


----------



## lisad45

youkiddingme said:


> It would be cool to have a counselor on here right now that could explain to us what is up with folks that just cannot let things go. To explain the issues they are dealing with. Why it is that they just HAVE to keep arguing and defending and cannot let it go. No one else cares about the argument.....but they cannot let it go. I wish someone could come along and diagnose the mental issues these folks are dealing with. They have ruined a fun and light hearted discussion......and they just keep going, and going, and going.


I wouldn't go as far as a counselor. However, I agree. Let's move on!


----------



## Faithful Wife




----------



## I Notice The Details

:rofl: Thanks FW. That is funny!


----------



## youkiddingme

Love it Faithful wife!!!!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

youkiddingme said:


> It would be cool to have a counselor on here right now that could explain to us what is up with folks that just cannot let things go. To explain the issues they are dealing with. Why it is that they just HAVE to keep arguing and defending and cannot let it go. No one else cares about the argument.....but they cannot let it go. I wish someone could come along and diagnose the mental issues these folks are dealing with. They have ruined a fun and light hearted discussion......and they just keep going, and going, and going.


Because some people take things very personal. Any less than flattering explanation of why a woman would find being thought a POA is positive is taken as an affront if you've already admitted to viewing it as a positive. Everything that comes afterward is just being defensive, or purposefully obtuse because you've already committed to a position.

A counselor would point out that I'm an INTP personality type - analytical and intellectual with a nice ego. I appreciate fine details, nuance, and consistent logical explanations. I enjoy sharing them, so I'm prone to debate and long winded, specific descriptions.

A counselor would point out that always wanting to be checked-out, enjoying it so much as to create a thread to discuss it (indicative of insecurity about the desire such that one needs confirmation of how others enjoy it), and appreciating being thought a sexual object, is excessive validation-seeking. A trait of low core self-esteem.

That nobody really wants to be an object, is why none of my direct questions on it were answered. When one has no argument, one resorts to silly ad hominems.


----------



## I Notice The Details

So I went to Subway for lunch today, and walked in at the same time a lady was walking in. She motioned for me to go in front of her, and I said..."no, ladies go first". She smiled at me and caught me looking down at her butt. She was wearing black yoga pants, a loose t-shirt, and very colorful running shoes. It was obvious that I was noticing her...so I confidently said..."you must work out a lot to have beautiful curves like that!" 

She quickly smiled and said "thank you" and looked right at me as we made small talk about the gym she goes to. As we got to the end of the line to pay, she said to the lady cashier..."I need to eat here more often"...while looking right at me and smiling. (her body language told me she appreciated my compliment)

I must say that it takes guts to give out compliments to total strangers, but it has been my experience that ALMOST everyone appreciates them when they are sincere. I think we all appreciate being "checked out" once in a while. It validates us on some level. It is healthy for our self esteem. Just my opinion.


----------



## heartsbeating

I get conflicted with that whole thing. Yes, it is validating on some level. At the same time, if we have healthy esteem do we even need the validation? Blah, how boring of me! Still, I admit that a flattering gesture can indeed be flattering. 

We were at a friend's dinner party recently and conversation turned to fitness ...I shared what I'd been doing lately and the single dude (nice enough guy we've met a handful of times) said, "I thought you were looking particularly fantastic.." It took me by surprise and so, in response, I just chuckled. If anything, rather than flattered, I felt somewhat awkward. Thankfully hubs agreed with him and I continued on.

I think the flattery I've valued most, besides from my husband, has been from girl friends and gay guys. Met a girl friend for lunch and it was the first time she's seen me as a brunette. She told me I was stunning and said she couldn't stop staring at me. Gotta admit, she had me beaming! Bless her cotton socks.


----------



## heartsbeating

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> "Damn check her out!!" *evil face* :rofl: I'm sorry... this really hits my funny bone. That is awesome, thanks for sharing... I have a whole Saturday Night live skit developing in my mind.





sinnister said:


> LOL. It's so strange. The randomness of it all. I mean, picture a promo for a really cheesy, typical criminal in a crime drama, then multiply that face by 10. That's my "checking her out" face.
> 
> My wife said she was afraid of me when we first met. I could never understand why until that day. *Evil Face*


:rofl:


----------



## heartsbeating

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I love that feeling. I just wish it were a little bit more obvious which ones looked away because its a submissive show of interest, and which ones looked away because they weren't interested to begin with.


When I'm on the train, I tend to look around. If it's the morning, I'm usually either going through a mental list of priorities for the day or day-dreaming about various things... and then eye-contact may happen. It's not even so much that I'm really looking at anyone in particular. At times I'll notice attractive men and women, or interesting looking people, but it's not that I want to attract them to me. _Did I pack my towel for going to the gym? _

What _can_ feel awkward is when the train is packed and everyone is squished in together. I'll be the one who comments with a laugh to whoever is next to me "Well, this is cozy!" And in those instances, if there's eye-contact, I'm likely thinking of what else I could be doing other than the daily grind.


----------



## vellocet

Jellybeans said:


> I like when I am checked out. It's flattering. (unless it's a creeper doing it).


What constitutes a creeper?


----------



## vellocet

I guess it all depends on how good looking the guy checking you out is for some of you it seems.

Kinda reminds me of this: https://www.cloudy.ec/v/09b18e827769e


----------



## 45188

If he's out with his wife, no. Hell no. What a pig. If he's single, and finds me attractive, thanks =) I'm flattered. Unless he's a creeper. (old and/or ugly / fat / man tits) If he's leering - that's creepy no matter what. Yes details, it's hawaiian. My name is Tiffany.


----------



## I Notice The Details

Kipani sounds like an beautiful Hawaiian name....is it?


----------



## vellocet

kipani said:


> If he's out with his wife, no. Hell no. What a pig. If he's single, and finds me attractive, thanks =) I'm flattered. Unless he's a creeper. (old and/or ugly / fat / man tits)


Glad to know ugly men aren't afforded the same feelings of attraction as an Adonis.

So two different men can give you the same glance. But only one guy is a creep based on his looks? How does that work?

Could it be that the fat ugly bald guy can simply admire an attractive woman too?


----------



## Redpill

kipani said:


> Sorry, ugly men.. Just the thought of them thinking about me that way just disgusts me. I don't care how sweet he is, or how sure of himself he is, it can't fix his face and body to me. It's just how I am. I know I'm not alone because most of my friends all feel the same way, except the nicer ones. Guys out with their wives or girlfriends are even lower on the scale for me though. Just how I am.


Your boyfriend/husband is a lucky guy.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Yep, I bet kipani's guys IS lucky. She's a blazing spit fire! Lucky man!


----------



## Faithful Wife

Oh I forgot....the Redpill means you believe that young women are into old men, right? "Science" says so, right? :lol:


----------



## Redpill

Faithful Wife said:


> She's a blazing spit fire! Lucky man!


On the outside, maybe. On the inside? Nope. Judging from that post she has poor character. She seems to be an entitled princess.

Attractive men can stare, men that might not register near Brad Pitt or George Clooney on the attractiveness scale are creepers and should get lost. What a terrible way to judge someone. 

Seriously, good luck to her boyfriend/husband.


----------



## Faithful Wife

You took the redpill so you know the drill....only the top 1% of the hottest hotty mc-totties get to receive our lust. That's your pill, man. Why argue with us about it?


----------



## Created2Write

So..._men_ can judge women based on looks without their character called into question, but the moment a woman does she's shallow? 

Cause that makes sense.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Right, created! Because "science"!


----------



## Created2Write

If kipani has bad character for not appreciating the attention of ugly men, then I must have bad character too. My husband is an extremely attractive, fit, healthy man. For any other guy to even catch my attention, he's gotta be a damn stud. Cause, sorry, but there's noting flattering about an ugly/old guy ogling me. 

My poor husband. I wonder if he knows he's married to a *****.


----------



## Redpill

Created2Write said:


> My husband is ... extremely attractive


Good for you. I'm glad you found TRUE love.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Yes Created...you beautiful entitled princess...said without snark because I honestly believe you are a princess and are entitled to happily ever after true love with your hunky husband.


----------



## Faithful Wife

"You must be this long to ride this ride".


----------



## Redpill

kipani said:


> Thats right. I wish penis implants were more common, because it's slim pickings around this area. :lol:


Right after you get some breast implants.


----------



## over20

Redpill said:


> Right after you get some breast implants.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## Thound

I hate it when men check me out.


----------



## 12345Person

kipani said:


> Frankly, yes. I'm shallow. I'm a visual person. I'm a web designer. I'm an artist. On top of that, I'm hot. I'm not really entitled. I just won't settle for somebody I'm not attracted to. Or somebody with a small penis. Like.. I'd only have sex with an old and/or ugly guy if I lost a bet or was really, really wasted. Just how I am. Hell, it's how girls of my generation are in general. Sorry if you don't like it. At least I'm not a liar.


It's not really about that, more about attitude towards people. There are many people dealing with physical shortcomings that are out of their control. It's OK not to find them attractive, though.


----------



## over20

kipani said:


> Frankly, yes. I'm shallow. I'm a visual person. I'm a web designer. I'm an artist. On top of that, I'm hot. I'm not really entitled. I just won't settle for somebody I'm not attracted to. Or somebody with a small penis. Like.. I'd only have sex with an old and/or ugly guy if I lost a bet or was really, really wasted. Just how I am. Hell, it's how girls of my generation are in general. Sorry if you don't like it. At least I'm not a liar.


If that is you in your Avatar I don't think you are that pretty at all. Hotness is not all about looks, but attitude. Unless you decide to mature and grow up, your time in the dating pool is about to expire....the younger, sexier women who appreciate ALL kinds of men will run all over you.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I think she's hot, with the attitude or without it. She's young, she knows what she wants, why would she pretend otherwise? She is just being honest about her own thoughts and preferences. She never said she'd be young forever or that she thinks all men should be into her. She just has a healthy self-esteem. Go c*cky chicks!


----------



## over20

We will have to agree to disagree.....when I was in my 20's I NEVER disrespected men like that. I didn't base a date or lover on the size of his penis. Yes, I was not attracted to older men when I was in my twenties, but I didn't pronounce how ugly they are or that I would have to be wasted to sleep with one of them. Lastly, I didn't boast how hot I was, I let men tell me that on their own.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Faithful Wife said:


> I think she's hot, with the attitude or without it. She's young, she knows what she wants, why would she pretend otherwise? She is just being honest about her own thoughts and preferences. She never said she'd be young forever or that she thinks all men should be into her. She just has a healthy self-esteem. Go c*cky chicks!


:iagree:

If she is/was really rude to guys who she isn't into then I would say yes she has a bad attitude, but from all i've seen she's just posting her honest feelings. May not be PC but nature isn't always PC.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I was a lot like her. I may not have said such things in a public forum...however, they did not exist yet. LOL!

I definitely said such things among my friends. And I've never had any trouble attracting and keeping men, even now so....I'm pretty sure she'll be just fine with who she is.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I don't believe I ever asked you to "accept my stupid mindset" so whatevs.


----------



## Ikaika

It's ok, 53 year old men are not very good looking taking from me and besides if I were single I'm not sure I would be attracted to anyone younger than 45 (just not enough in common, plus I'm sure she would be bored with me quickly). However in the endowment department, that is another story


----------



## over20

Healthy self-esteem is always the goal with an individual a TRUE gift. Most people never reach that level. Boasting though, is a sign of immaturity and lack of character.


----------



## jld

Faithful Wife said:


> Right, created! Because "science"!


:rofl:


----------



## 12345Person

Faithful Wife said:


> I don't believe I ever asked you to "accept my stupid mindset" so whatevs.


So long as you know it's that stupid mindset that leads to bullying and people feeling like ****.

How horrible to have loved ones and friends who are treated badly because of things they can't control. 

Until parents teach and show as an example to their children to respect others, the cycle will just continue.


----------



## over20

drerio said:


> It's ok, 53 year old men are not very good looking taking from me and besides if I were single I'm not sure I would be attracted to anyone younger than 45 (just not enough in common, plus I'm sure she would be bored with me quickly). However in the endowment department, that is another story


Don't sell yourself short......older men have a lot of awesome physical qualities that young men lack...For example...growing a nice mustache and beard....cute crows feet wrinkles around the eyes....the most sexy I find...an older man is an awesome, patient lover!!


----------



## Faithful Wife

Let's see...we expect women to act like little good girls and say "oh yes, we could potentially be attracted to ANY man, as long as his heart is made of gold". Right?

But men say "you all have to be young and .7 waist-hip ratio or you are not hot". And that's ok. Right?


----------



## soccermom2three

“Beauty belongs to the sphere of the simple, the ordinary, whilst ugliness is something extraordinary, and there is no question but that every ardent imagination prefers in lubricity, the extraordinary to the commonplace” 
― Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings


----------



## over20

Faithful Wife said:


> Let's see...we expect women to act like little good girls and say "oh yes, we could potentially be attracted to ANY man, as long as his heart is made of gold". Right?
> 
> But men say "you all have to be young and .7 waist-hip ratio or you are not hot". And that's ok. Right?


You disrespect men with that statement.....you are generalizing...not ALL men have those parameters when dating or marrying.


----------



## Faithful Wife

That's true. But plenty of men DO say that and they say it right here at TAM.


----------



## Ikaika

over20 said:


> Don't sell yourself short......older men have a lot of awesome physical qualities that young men lack...For example...growing a nice mustache and beard....cute crows feet wrinkles around the eyes....the most sexy I find...an older man is an awesome, patient lover!!



Thank you. Of course I don't spend time checking out women, my wife is plenty hot enough for me. I see 20 something year old every day at work, they all look the same to me.


----------



## jld

drerio said:


> Thank you. Of course I don't spend time checking out women, my wife is plenty hot enough for me. I see 20 something year old every day at work, they all look the same to me.


Dh does not check out other women, either. And he does not notice when women do that to him. And I am very grateful. And I do not know how I got so lucky.


----------



## 12345Person

Faithful Wife said:


> Let's see...we expect women to act like little good girls and say "oh yes, we could potentially be attracted to ANY man, as long as his heart is made of gold". Right?
> 
> But men say "you all have to be young and .7 waist-hip ratio or you are not hot". And that's ok. Right?


Again, it's not about sexual preferences.

It doesn't matter if you're a man or woman. The way we treat people and how we think of them makes a big difference. People sense it, and it DOES make a difference.


----------



## over20

Faithful Wife said:


> That's true. But plenty of men DO say that and they say it right here at TAM.


I disagree. The men here on TAM are mostly older men, who are in troubled marriages or divorced...they want and crave a wife or lover who GET's IT i.e. what men want and need in a woman. They want to be loved, adored and respected for who they are, not their penis size or bank account size..Yes, men are visual, I don't blame them, females are hot, but hotness comes in many form. It is not the stereotypical Playboy bunny young look......when a woman understands, learns and appreciates what men REALLY need in a woman, she becomes the hottest piece on the planet...


----------



## Ikaika

Not a matter trying to be vain, I do take care of myself. I stay very active, workout every day watch what I eat. It is more about fighting against genetics, heart disease runs in my family. However my wife does not complain that I am well within all the healthy parameters for man of my age.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I'm sure that you two clucking your tongues at kipani will not make her feel bad, change herself or regret anything she is saying.

I personally wouldn't choose her words. But I'm also not personally offended by any of them because when I was her age, I felt the same and said similar things.

If she's a "mean girl" then life will teach her lessons.

I don't see her that way. You two seem to. We disagree.

I'm sure she'll have a good chuckle when she reads this.


----------



## over20

It's sort of ironic though.....if she is truly so hot...why the heck is she on a TAM website....she should be out getting fxcked by men with long dongs.......


----------



## Faithful Wife

Yes, shaming her should work. Because...you're her mommy?


----------



## 12345Person

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm sure that you two clucking your tongues at kipani will not make her feel bad, change herself or regret anything she is saying.
> 
> I personally wouldn't choose her words. But I'm also not personally offended by any of them because when I was her age, I felt the same and said similar things.
> 
> If she's a "mean girl" then life will teach her lessons.
> 
> I don't see her that way. You two seem to. We disagree.
> 
> I'm sure she'll have a good chuckle when she reads this.


You seem to be missing the point.

It's NOT about sexual preferences. I don't like little ****s, either.

Nevermind.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I think the point is that you think she is being rude and disrespectful to men/people.

No?


----------



## over20

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes, shaming her should work. Because...you're her mommy?


Just pointing out the obvious....

In all fairness though, we ALL have the right to be here. It is an open public forum. It is just atypical for someone like her to be here....


----------



## over20

Faithful Wife said:


> I think the point is that you think she is being rude and disrespectful to men/people.
> 
> No?




I do not want to gossip any further...I should not have even gossiped a few posts ago. I am sorry. I do think she lacks a lot of wisdom and maturity that people on this forum come here to look for. We do not come here to hear about how "hot" one is or that they only want a man with a long dong. A lot of people here want real sound, wise, advice and conversation.


----------



## over20

jld said:


> Dh does not check out other women, either. And he does not notice when women do that to him. And I am very grateful. And I do not know how I got so lucky.


Jld....because you fulfill his needs and desires....at home he gets refreshed and full....he has no need to go out looking for something better.


----------



## Ikaika

jld said:


> Dh does not check out other women, either. *And he does not notice when women do that to him. *And I am very grateful. And I do not know how I got so lucky.



Some men are so fortunate . I kid, I am not looking for attention from women, only my wife . Plus, I'm pretty clueless.


----------



## jld

over20 said:


> Jld....because you fulfill his needs and desires....at home he gets refreshed and full....he has no need to go out looking for something better.


Thanks, over20. It would be nice to think that is why.  

But maybe I just married a mutant.


----------



## Redpill

Faithful Wife said:


> But men say "you all have to be young and .7 waist-hip ratio or you are not hot". And that's ok. Right?


Bullocks. Pure bullocks.


----------



## Redpill

jld said:


> Dh does not check out other women, either. And he does not notice when women do that to him. And I am very grateful. And I do not know how I got so lucky.


No offense, but I doubt it. 

I've read through some of your threads and posts and you seem emotionally unstable. You talk about how you blow up, scream and yell, say nasty things and give your kids a good "slap across the face when they deserve it". 

Chances are he's trying to avoid conflict because he knows you might react poorly to it.

Just my observations.


----------



## jld

drerio said:


> Some men are so fortunate . I kid, I am not looking for attention from women, only my wife . Plus, I'm pretty clueless.


Well, clueless is definitely a word I have used to describe my truly beloved dh . . .


----------



## 12345Person

Redpill said:


> No offense, but I doubt it.
> 
> I've read through some of your threads and posts and you seem emotionally unstable. You talk about how you blow up, scream and yell, say nasty things and give your kids a good "slap across the face when they deserve it".
> 
> Chances are he's trying to avoid conflict because he knows you might react poorly to it.
> 
> Just my observations.


oh no he didnt


----------



## jld

Redpill said:


> No offense, but I doubt it.
> 
> I've read through some of your threads and posts and you seem emotionally unstable. You talk about how you blow up, scream and yell, say nasty things and give your kids a good "slap across the face when they deserve it".
> 
> Chances are he's trying to avoid conflict because he knows you might react poorly to it.
> 
> Just my observations.


I'll show him your post tomorrow and ask him what he thinks.


----------



## over20

Redpill said:


> No offense, but I doubt it.
> 
> I've read through some of your threads and posts and you seem emotionally unstable. You talk about how you blow up, scream and yell, say nasty things and give your kids a good "slap across the face when they deserve it".
> 
> Chances are he's trying to avoid conflict because he knows you might react poorly to it.
> 
> Just my observations.


You have misjudged jld terribly....


----------



## Redpill

jld said:


> I'll show him your post tomorrow and ask him what he thinks.


And I will be here intently waiting for his feedback.


----------



## 12345Person

(popcorn)


----------



## over20

Anonymous Person said:


> (popcorn)


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

You are bad........do you want a coke or sprite to go with your popcorn?


----------



## jld

Redpill said:


> And I will be here intently waiting for his feedback.


Why so angry, Redpill? We don't even know each other.


----------



## over20

Redpill said:


> And I will be here intently waiting for his feedback.


Please don't bully a female, it's not PC


----------



## 12345Person

over20 said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> You are bad........do you want a coke or sprite to go with your popcorn?


Only if they're fresh, from a $1,000 freezer, and the can looks pretty pls.

I get so offended and grossed out when people bring me coke from the neighbors in those plastic containers. Like Oh My God do they really think I'll drink that ****.

*waives hair*


----------



## over20

Anonymous Person said:


> Only if they're fresh, from a $1,000 freezer, and the can looks pretty pls.
> 
> I get so offended and grossed out when people bring me coke from the neighbors in those plastic containers. Like Oh My God do they really think I'll drink that ****.
> 
> *waives hair*


maybe I should get you a beer instead.......:rofl:


----------



## Redpill

jld said:


> Why so angry, Redpill? We don't even know each other.


I'm not angry. I just think that when you say your husband isn't attracted to or looks at other women that it's highly unlikely - even if he says he doesn't. Most hubby's aren't going to go around telling their wives "Look at that chick, she has nice big tits and a firm ass".

I just disagree with you, that's all.


----------



## jld

Redpill said:


> I'm not angry. I just think your claim that your husband isn't attracted to or looks at other women is highly unlikely.
> 
> I'm sorry if you feel offended.



It's not my claim; it is what he has told me.


----------



## 12345Person

jld said:


> It's not my claim; it is what he has told me.


----------



## over20

Ok..OK.....now be fair guys.....there is a difference between noticing an attractive female and pursuing her. I think that is what jld means. Her husband is very happy at home and has no need to go "looking" for some fun. Plus a lot of men are able to resist temptation better than others.


----------



## 12345Person

over20 said:


> Ok..OK.....now be fair guys.....there is a difference between noticing an attractive female and pursuing her. I think that is what jld means. Her husband is very happy at home and has no need to go "looking" for some fun. Plus a lot of men are able to resist temptation better than others.





jld said:


> *Dh does not check out other women*, either. And he does not notice when women do that to him. And I am very grateful. And I do not know how I got so lucky.


----------



## over20

Touche


----------



## jld

I don't know what to tell you other than what he has told me many times. He just is not interested in other women. He says he is happy at home, as over20 has said.

I think he has also mentioned what she said, the difference between noticing a woman is attractive, and actually feeling attracted to her.


----------



## soccermom2three

Faithful Wife said:


> I think the point is that you think she is being rude and disrespectful to men/people.
> 
> No?


I have a 18, (almost 19), year old daughter. She's not interested in older men and she has a particular type of guy she finds attractive but she would never come on a forum full of all kinds of different people and insult them in such a distasteful way. I think anyone that does that is "ugly" on the inside, (kind of ironic, I guess.)


----------



## 12345Person

soccermom2three said:


> I have a 18, (almost 19), year old daughter. She's not interested in older men and she has a particular type of guy she finds attractive but she would never come on a forum full of all kinds of different people and insult them in such a distasteful way. I think anyone that does that is "ugly" on the inside, (kind of ironic, I guess.)


I stopped with that kind of attitude when I was 12 years old. It was a decision I made because I knew my actions at the time would affect the kind of person I would become in the future.

It's amazing, really. Because once I got rid of that "ugly" attitude, I went a spree that lasted a few years where I started really helping people. Homeless, prostitutes, women, men, pretty, ugly, etc. Once I filled my mind with positive thoughts about other people, not only did I start helping people but there was a big difference in how I started relating to others.

Of course, I'm not perfect and I've made more than a few bad decisions in life. But I'm always thankful to know I went through that change when I was very young instead of my 30s or something.


----------



## 45188

*Shrugs* The only thing I'm sorry for is that you people get so offended by the blunt truth. It's how I feel. I won't apologize for how I feel or the words I use because they're not PC. The truth is the truth no matter which way you cut it. I don't really care you don't think I'm pretty over20. I have more than my fair share pick of men, so what some chick on a forum thinks doesn't really effect me. Just comes off as jealousy, honestly. 

I won't change my mindset or who I am. Peer pressure / bullying / direct attacks don't work on me. I'm a.. what do you call it.. Alpha.


----------



## 12345Person

kipani said:


> *Shrugs* The only thing I'm sorry for is that you people get so offended by the blunt truth. It's how I feel. I won't apologize for how I feel or the words I use because they're not PC. The truth is the truth no matter which way you cut it. I don't really care you don't think I'm pretty over20. I have more than my fair share pick of men, so what some chick on a forum thinks doesn't really effect me. Just comes off as jealousy, honestly.
> 
> I won't change my mindset or who I am. Peer pressure / bullying / direct attacks don't work on me. I'm a.. what do you call it.. Alpha.


No, you are not "alpha". You are young and immature.

I don't like small ****s, fat guys, or old guys, either. 

25 years from now, you're going to look back on life and laugh about the kind of person you were in 2014.

Bye... Zebra

Bye


----------



## 45188

Actually, I'm quite mature. I don't shed responsibilities, I have strong ethics, and I'm not fake. I won't pretend to be nice to somebody to their face and badmouth them behind their backs. I won't post and cry on facebook or gossip peoples business. It's immature but a lot of 50+ women do it. I'm sorry my opinion offends you. In my mind, being able to accept peoples opinions without getting offended is an act of maturity. 

"OH MY GOD THIS GIRL SAID UGLY" - Did I target anybody? No. I generalized ugly. However, you and over20 targeted me. Do I care? No. Over20 personally targeted me with the intention of hurting my feelings. A bullying, immature move. I could have retaliated and called her too ugly to post her picture, but I didn't. It would have been immature and pointless - like her post was about me.

I don't care if you're all up in arms about bullying. And if you are, you're targeting the wrong person. It's got nothing to do with me. I don't bully. It's you who needs work - not me. Learn to accept peoples opinions, because tbh you come off as very narrowminded and hateful to anybody who thinks differently from you.

A turd with sprinkles is still a turd.


----------



## 12345Person

kipani said:


> Actually, I'm quite mature. I don't shed responsibilities, I have strong ethics, and I'm not fake. I won't pretend to be nice to somebody to their face and badmouth them behind their backs. I won't post and cry on facebook or gossip peoples business. It's immature but a lot of 50+ women do it. I don't care for your opinion on the matter. I'm sorry the truth offends you. 1. In my mind, being able to accept peoples opinions without getting offended is an act of maturity.
> 
> "OH MY GOD THIS GIRL SAID UGLY" - Did I target anybody? No. I generalized ugly. However, you and over20 targeted me. Do I care? No. Over20 personally targeted me with the intention of hurting my feelings. A bullying, immature move.
> 
> I don't care if you're all up in arms about bullying. It's got nothing to do with me. I don't bully. It's you who needs work - not me. 2. Learn to accept peoples opinions, because tbh you come off as very narrowminded and hateful to anybody who thinks differently from you.
> 
> A turd with sprinkles is still a turd.


1. It isn't. If you think it is, then you need to get out more and communicate with many people from different walks of life. I assure you, you will find more than a few people with opinions that make you want to cut their tongue out.

2. Not opinion, but approach. See, we both are turned off by small ****s, overweight and old men. It's not the opinion, but the approach. 

Ever heard of #TeamNoDarkButts?

Check them out and you'll have an idea how you come off.


----------



## 45188

1) I communicate with all sorts. Since the internet is of my generation, we're far far more exposed to the harsh realities of life than our parents before us at a far younger age. Childhood is dead. My brothers were watching porn by age 10.

2) I've been told I lack tact before. Again - I didn't target anybody in particular. I googled #teamnodarkbutts and this is all that came up.

Pam Oliver and her !!ed up weave

I'm more concerned about issues such as girls in the middle east being lashed to death because they 'tempted a married man' and he raped her rather than some teenage boys making bad hair jokes.. Or gays being persecuted and executed in the congo / russia..


----------



## 12345Person

kipani said:


> 1) I communicate with all sorts. Since the internet is of my generation, we're far far more exposed to the harsh realities of life than our parents before us at a far younger age. Childhood is dead. My brothers were watching porn by age 10.
> 
> 2) I've been told I lack tact before. Again - I didn't target anybody in particular. I googled #teamnodarkbutts and this is all that came up.
> 
> Pam Oliver and her !!ed up weave
> 
> I'm more concerned about issues such as girls in the middle east being lashed to death because they 'tempted a married man' and he raped her rather than some teenage boys making bad hair jokes..


1. I'm talking about real life. I'm certain everyone with internet knows about the harsh realities of life, but when you insert yourself directly into THAT world it changes your perspective on things. A depressing road to go on, I wouldn't recommend it, you might lose your sanity, I almost did. 

2. It's not just about the words coming from your mouth, but how you color them, as well. It's the difference between telling your sister she needs to lose some weight and telling her she's a fat slob.

I won't comment too much on #TeamNoDarkButts because the subject is a bit sensitive for here, but it's not about hair jokes. Just leave it alone I guess....


----------



## 45188

Noted. I'll color them better I guess, though people have never colored them for me. I'm more a tom than a girl though *Shrugs*


----------



## over20

I did not target you, you made an observation about yourself and I am welcome to disagree with your observation. I am sorry it went this far.


----------



## Holland

Telling a poster that you don't think they are pretty based on their avatar is low especially from a woman that is older. Reeks of jealousy.
Who cares that kipani does not like the attention of men she finds unattractive, that is her perogative.

I remember when I was much younger being totally creeped out by that sort of attention from older men, it is not a crime against humanity to feel that way.

But to the point, these days I appreciate getting attention, I like it. The difference though is not the person giving the attention but their actual intentions. I will happily chat to a man that strikes up a conversation, no matter his age or looks but if he crosses the line then I stop engaging, no matter his age or looks.


----------



## 12345Person

I don't care about attention, tbh. 

When I was a teenager, I'd get a LOT of attention because of my looks, but I never cared for it. It just made feel crappy, because I knew that without my looks they wouldn't care as much. So, I always questioned people's motives.

It's because once I started going out more I met people who were dealing with a lot of problems I could never even imagine and I saw how people treated them compared to me. Big difference.

It built a lot of resentment. I thought, "if I lost my looks, had many issues, etc, would any of these people care about me or want to be my friends?"

At any moment, I could be in an accident that leaves me horribly damaged, or be victimized by some perpetrator and my life be scarred forever. Would all these people still be with me then? Would my "friends" be embarrassed to go out with me?

I thought these things at the time. It also made me reflect on the kind of person I was. Would I stay friends with them even in their hardest times? Will I be there when they are sick, alone, etc?

That's why I've built myself up as a person that is loyal and a true friend to those I'm close, too. And why I'm picky with who I let into my life.


----------



## DarkHoly

Everyone's trying to convince everyone they're mature. I don't believe in anything anymore. Not after today


----------



## Holland

What happened today DarkHoly?


----------



## DarkHoly

Holland said:


> What happened today DarkHoly?


This thread.


----------



## Jellybeans

Lol Dark. This thread has been happening since February.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DarkHoly said:


> Everyone's trying to convince everyone they're mature. I don't believe in anything anymore. Not after today


I feel everyone has pieces of their personality that could stand to develop further into maturity.Some people have more work to do on themselves than others but we all had varying shades of immaturity about us.To me,the whole point is to develop just enough to be a good person but stay innocent or immature enough to still have fun and laugh at yourself.

I can't get on board with "calling out" Kipani for her views. The way I see it,she's expressing thoughts that men have expressed toward women for ages. That doesn't make it ok but it also doesn't make her a terrible person or even immature.Attacking her view isn't going to change her mind or help her in any way.


----------



## DarkHoly

ScarletBegonias said:


> I feel everyone has pieces of their personality that could stand to develop further into maturity.Some people have more work to do on themselves than others but we all had varying shades of immaturity about us.To me,the whole point is to develop just enough to be a good person but stay innocent or immature enough to still have fun and laugh at yourself.
> 
> I can't get on board with "calling out" Kipani for her views. The way I see it,she's expressing thoughts that men have expressed toward women for ages. That doesn't make it ok but it also doesn't make her a terrible person or even immature.Attacking her view isn't going to change her mind or help her in any way.


I don't disagree with anything you said. Honestly I was just joking around.


----------



## 12345Person

ScarletBegonias said:


> I feel everyone has pieces of their personality that could stand to develop further into maturity.Some people have more work to do on themselves than others but we all had varying shades of immaturity about us.To me,the whole point is to develop just enough to be a good person but stay innocent or immature enough to still have fun and laugh at yourself.
> 
> I can't get on board with "calling out" Kipani for her views. The way I see it,she's expressing thoughts that men have expressed toward women for ages. That doesn't make it ok but it also doesn't make her a terrible person or even immature.Attacking her view isn't going to change her mind or help her in any way.


I have a younger sibling who feels like crap because of what the boys say about her at school. 

She's very pretty. A potential future model. But they call her "flat chested" and "nerd" and "ugly".

I feel so sad for her


----------



## 12345Person

ScarletBegonias said:


> I feel everyone has pieces of their personality that could stand to develop further into maturity.Some people have more work to do on themselves than others but we all had varying shades of immaturity about us.To me,the whole point is to develop just enough to be a good person but stay innocent or immature enough to still have fun and laugh at yourself.
> 
> I can't get on board with "calling out" Kipani for her views. The way I see it,she's expressing thoughts that men have expressed toward women for ages. That doesn't make it ok but it also doesn't make her a terrible person or even immature.Attacking her view isn't going to change her mind or help her in any way.


Oh, I'm a lot of fun. I'm the friend who puts lollipops in the back of your hair. :rofl:


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Anonymous Person said:


> I have a younger sibling who feels like crap because of what the boys say about her at school.
> 
> She's very pretty. A potential future model. But they call her "flat chested" and "nerd" and "ugly".
> 
> I feel so sad for her


I feel for her.It's a rough road til you grow into your look and break free of feeling you should look the way everyone else does.

I got called all sorts of bad things throughout school and I never had parents who praised me either.
They made fun of every thing from my dark eyebrows to my "bubble butt" and my flat chest.The fact that I was such a dark brunette meant I should have been waxing my upper lip but my mom wouldn't let me...you can imagine the torment.

But you grow and you learn.The same people who made fun of me then think I'm hot and sexy now. They're not worth a second glance.


----------



## Thound

Anonymous Person said:


> No, you are not "alpha". You are young and immature.
> 
> I don't like small ****s, fat guys, or old guys, either.
> 
> 25 years from now, you're going to look back on life and laugh about the kind of person you were in 2014.
> 
> Bye... Zebra
> 
> Bye


Hey I resemble that!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 12345Person

Thound said:


> Hey I resemble that!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can't believe you responded to my post. I am so offended and grossed out.... and possibly horrified.

*waives hair*


----------



## 45188

I got called nerd a lot in high school. Wear it with pride. I was also laughed at for being flat chested when I was 13 to 15. At the time, it bothered me. Got older, no longer cared. I used to be very timid. Low self esteem. But now, I'm quite content with myself and anybody who feels the need to bad mouth me frankly isn't worth my time or attention. 

You do grow. Your sister will develop the same attitude I have now most likely. I bet the kids who make fun of her are goofy looking.


----------



## theroad

jellybeans said:


> i like when i am checked out. It's flattering. (unless it's a creeper doing it).


When a man likes a woman and shows interest.

Proof of what is sexual harashment.

It's all good when the woman likes the man and wants to date him.

Sexual harashment when she does not.


----------



## Ikaika

ScarletBegonias said:


> I feel everyone has pieces of their personality that could stand to develop further into maturity.Some people have more work to do on themselves than others but we all had varying shades of immaturity about us.To me,the whole point is to develop just enough to be a good person but stay innocent or immature enough to still have fun and laugh at yourself.



Very well expressed and so true. 

However when I am standing in front of my co-ed students I promise I am just disseminating information and not creeping anyone out. Old guy alert :rofl:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> So..._men_ can judge women based on looks without their character called into question, but the moment a woman does she's shallow?
> 
> Cause that makes sense.


What? Men are called shallow for virtually every single one of our preferences. I think the point has been made around these parts repeatedly that men and women are equally shallow creatures.

Personally doesn't bother me one way or the other what kipani wants in a man, that's her prerogative. Just as I'd expect a woman to not want a man whose size isn't physically satisfying to her, I wouldn't want a woman whose size isn't physically satisfying to me. If a woman thought me too small, I'd think her too big - we'd both be unhappy. I want a nice tight fit and I have no problem with a woman wanting the same. If I'm not it for her, she's not it for me either. The door swings both ways.



Faithful Wife said:


> Right, created! Because "science"!


I don't really get the dismissive "science" jabs. Was that case presented here? What about it is being criticized anyway? Is it the notion of women being attracted to older men? The women I dated last year were almost all 10+ years younger than me - does that qualify? Does that mean I'm physically hotter than their menu of guys 10+ years younger than me? While that's flattering, it makes more sense to me that I simply have more confidence and status than most of the younger guys as a result of my age, experience and career progress.



kipani said:


> I got called nerd a lot in high school. Wear it with pride.


I don't identify with nerd because it implies excessive social awkwardness I don't have. I identify with geek. I'm a total geek and wouldn't have it any other way.


----------



## Thound

Anonymous Person said:


> I can't believe you responded to my post. I am so offended and grossed out.... and possibly horrified.
> 
> *waives hair*


Wishing you a speedy recovery 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Created2Write

Redpill said:


> Good for you. I'm glad you found TRUE love.


Thank you. I did find _true_ love, because I found a man who values himself, his health, and takes pride in his appearance both professionally, and personally. He doesn't dress like a slob, he works out every day, he doesn't eat garbage...he takes pride in who he is. And as a result he's been extremely successful in life. He has an amazing job. He holds multiple management positions at work, and is in training to take on more. He is extremely confident and works hard. He doesn't expect that my attraction to him will last regardless of his looks or success, which shows how much he respects me. I, in turn, value myself and his confidence and dedication and hard work inspire me everyday.


----------



## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes Created...you beautiful entitled princess...said without snark because I honestly believe you are a princess and are entitled to happily ever after true love with your hunky husband.


Thank you, FW. I believe that all women who value themselves and aren't above working hard to earn what they want in life are all Princesses, and they deserve men who hold the same values.


----------



## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> I think she's hot, with the attitude or without it. She's young, she knows what she wants, why would she pretend otherwise? She is just being honest about her own thoughts and preferences. She never said she'd be young forever or that she thinks all men should be into her. She just has a healthy self-esteem. Go c*cky chicks!


I think she's majorly hot, both in her looks and her confidence. She's not pretending to be anything other than who she is, and that takes an immense amount of guts. I don't see how her statements are any different than the men who talk about only being attracted to women with certain cup sizes, or certain body types, and men don't find those things disrespectful. 

Insecurity(like we're seeing all over this thread) is what is really unattractive.


----------



## Created2Write

over20 said:


> It's sort of ironic though.....if she is truly so hot...why the heck is she on a TAM website....she should be out getting fxcked by men with long dongs.......


The same could be asked of you. 

I'm happy married and get as much sex as I want. I come here because there are great discussions and some great people I've become close to. I've had some amazing support here through my difficult times. Sex isn't why I'm here. Perhaps it's not why kipani is here, either?


----------



## Created2Write

Dvls, I'm not going to go into a debate about all of that again. We've done this dance before. I was referring to the many, many, many threads made by men about their "ideal woman", in which they post all about the body types they like and don't like, the size of breasts they prefer, I've even seen the color of hair mentioned. I've seen men here explicitly say that they expect their wives/SOs to be attracted to them regardless of how they look/keep up their health, and yet those same men expect their wives/SOs to keep in perfect shape. And even then there's no guarantee that they won't want a newer, younger model. I may find those mindsets distasteful, but they are entitled to their opinions and preferences and I should be mature enough to realize that their opinions don't apply to me. 

I don't see why the people on this thread who got all upset about kipani's post should do any differently.


----------



## Ikaika

kipani said:


> Thank you. I run into double standards like this often. Much of the time it's men who are offended though. Then I get called stuck up. Hahaha, whatever. I like what I like! If his face isn't good and his body isn't good, I've little interest in his personality. A personality can save a plain face though, I guess. For a short time. *I can't picture a relationship with an older man lasting that long though*, when theres guys my own age around. I'm gonna go to a baseball game now and laugh with my friends about all the 30 year old guys hitting on the 17 year old high school girls. Losers. Hahaha


:rofl: sorry my thoughts drift sometimes. 

I don't have a beef with what a person likes. The same could be said for folks like me. As I said already if I weren't married, I am pretty sure I would not pay much attention to a woman younger than 45. To each his own. I probably would not be attracted to a woman who did not take care of herself as I do. So no judgement here. 

Anyway my wife and plenty hot for a 51 year old.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> Dvls, I'm not going to go into a debate about all of that again. We've done this dance before. I was referring to the many, many, many threads made by men about their "ideal woman", in which they post all about the body types they like and don't like, the size of breasts they prefer, I've even seen the color of hair mentioned. I've seen men here explicitly say that they expect their wives/SOs to be attracted to them regardless of how they look/keep up their health, and yet those same men expect their wives/SOs to keep in perfect shape. And even then there's no guarantee that they won't want a newer, younger model. I may find those mindsets distasteful, but they are entitled to their opinions and preferences and I should be mature enough to realize that their opinions don't apply to me.
> 
> I don't see why the people on this thread who got all upset about kipani's post should do any differently.


I don't either. My complaint was that you seemed to be glossing over the fact that the women object to those male preferences as being "shallow" just as men are objecting here.

We all want what we want. If someone calls me shallow for my preferences I couldn't care less. I'm just saying the reactions from women on such things are exactly the same.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

kipani said:


> Thank you. I run into double standards like this often. Much of the time it's men who are offended though. Then I get called stuck up. Hahaha, whatever. I like what I like! If his face isn't good and his body isn't good, I've little interest in his personality. A personality can save a plain face though, I guess. For a short time. I can't picture a relationship with an older man lasting that long though, when theres guys my own age around. I'm gonna go to a baseball game now and laugh with my friends about all the 30 year old guys hitting on the 17 year old high school girls who don't know any better yet. Hahaha


Laugh away. The ones the young women respond to are getting exactly what they want though right? Do you think they care if it lasts more than a night?

Is there any doubt that if Melania Trump, 47, leaves Donald Trump, 67, he won't have another woman just as attractive and far younger than himself before long? With that age gap, and she's aged quite well, its pretty clear she's with him for his charisma and money... not his looks. They've been married about 10 years now I think.

You can't see yourself doing so, but trust me, its common and doesn't take being a billionaire... I only point it out to show there is an influence, but really, I'm sure you know that already. Lifestyle is attractive. Any of the girls I date could find a better looking guy their own age, but most of those guys are broke living with room mates in apartments and half have no clue where they're going in life. Is it any surprise that a large number of women are more interested in my knowing what I want, and my lifestyle of having weekend getaways with resources to blow on having fun and adventure? I don't think personality, charisma or lifestyle are everything... and I'm certainly not some ugly old fat guy... but these non-physical things are quite influential, or I wouldn't be getting interest over the guys their own age.

Now, if someone wants to tell me I'm just as physically attractive as her 25 year old options, hey... I'm good with that too. My explanation seems a little less c*cky though.


----------



## 45188

Eh yeah, but its not you, dont you get it? It's your wallet. Its the fun your wallet can provide for them. Do you -truly- understand the brand of woman you're 'attracting'? She'd likely unplug life support without a second thought. To each their own though I guess. It sounds lonely to me.  Personally, money isn't a thing to me. My greatest love was broker than dirt, but reaalllllyyyyy hot. Like im talkin marathons. Id keep that dood drained.

D3 time, ciao all.


----------



## richie33

I wish more women had kipani attitude. That they keep their heads up and really own their self worth. Body image issues and self esteem issues would go to the waste side. 
But no one can dictate who is allowed to look at them. If I said I only want a "10" to look at me it would come across really shallow.


----------



## over20

Created2Write said:


> The same could be asked of you.
> 
> I'm happy married and get as much sex as I want. I come here because there are great discussions and some great people I've become close to. I've had some amazing support here through my difficult times. Sex isn't why I'm here. Perhaps it's not why kipani is here, either?


Touche....I want to apologize. I was not fair to Kipani. It is a very hot button for me when women judge a man by his penis size and age. I am VERY pro men, especially my own. I do not male bash EVER. We women hate and despise when men do this to us, therefore we shouldn't boast about doing it back to them.


----------



## Caribbean Man

over20 said:


> Touche....I want to apologize. I was not fair to Kipani. It is a very hot button for me when women judge a man by his penis size and age.* I am VERY pro men, especially my own. I do not male bash EVER. We women hate and despise when men do this to us, therefore we shouldn't boast about doing it back to them.*


It's nice to hear you apologize and also say this from the bottom of your heart.
A double standard isn't gender sensitive.
I have great respect for that type of honesty in a person, especially on _this _forum.


----------



## over20

Caribbean Man said:


> It's nice to hear you apologize and also say this from the bottom of your heart.
> A double standard isn't gender sensitive.
> I have great respect for that type of honesty in a person, especially on _this _forum.


Thank you CB....we all mess up from time to time on issues that are close to our heart.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

kipani said:


> I got called nerd a lot in high school. Wear it with pride. I was also laughed at for being flat chested when I was 13 to 15. At the time, it bothered me. Got older, no longer cared. I used to be very timid. Low self esteem. But now, I'm quite content with myself and anybody who feels the need to bad mouth me frankly isn't worth my time or attention.
> 
> You do grow. Your sister will develop the same attitude I have now most likely. I bet the kids who make fun of her are goofy looking.


How old are you, K?

The 'tone' of your posts in this thread indicate that you are still dealing with low self-esteem. That you've dealt with a lot of ridicule, abuse in your past and it has made a mark on you. You don't project confidence you project anger and hostility. Your picture shows a pretty girl contemptuous of all those people out there looking at her. 

And you've been abused in this thread, by some. Others have, in essence, cheered on the whole spectacle. In particular those are the ones that should know better...very surprising


----------



## 12345Person

All of this is meaningless, because nobody said having preferences is a bad thing.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

Faithful Wife said:


> You took the redpill so you know the drill....only the top 1% of the hottest hotty mc-totties get to receive our lust. That's your pill, man. Why argue with us about it?


FW

are you drunk or something? What happened to the compassionate sex expert character you usually play on here?


----------



## Faithful Wife

nuclear...I was mocking the red pill in that post. That is what they tell each other. I have no patience for the mean crap they say about men, about women.

The red pill community are the ones who promote the evo-psyche message, and that message includes that it is "science" that only 10% of men are physically attractive to all women, and the rest of men get settled for. I strongly oppose that cr*pola message, and that is why I mock it.

But I will certainly put something like "mock alert!" ahead of time next time, so that no one will think I actually believe such a thing.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

Faithful Wife said:


> nuclear...I was mocking the red pill in that post. That is what they tell each other. I have no patience for the mean crap they say about men, about women.
> 
> The red pill community are the ones who promote the evo-psyche message, and that message includes that it is "science" that only 10% of men are physically attractive to all women, and the rest of men get settled for. I strongly oppose that cr*pola message, and doesthat is why I mock it.
> 
> But I will certainly put something like "mock alert!" ahead of time next time, so that no one will think I actually believe such a thing.


OMG. Will have to Google this but what does a red pill have to do with anything? And yes am afraid to ask.....


----------



## happy as a clam

Caribbean Man said:


> Do you have nice teeth?
> 
> I only " check out" a woman if she has two outstanding things.
> 
> 1] A beautiful smile.
> 2] Nice teeth. [ doesn't matter if food's stuck in it!]


Caribbean Man... was that you at the carwash the other day?!?! :rofl:

My SO's son-in-law owns a carwash. They installed a whole new tunnel and recently had a grand-reopening. I was helping him out, basically working as a "greeter"... some man pulled up and said, "You have the most beautiful smile. And the most beautiful TEETH!"

Really made my day...


----------



## Holland

over20 said:


> Touche....I want to apologize. I was not fair to Kipani. It is a very hot button for me when women judge a man by his penis size and age. I am VERY pro men, especially my own. I do not male bash EVER. We women hate and despise when men do this to us, therefore we shouldn't boast about doing it back to them.


Being pro men does not have to mean being very anti women which you seem to do a lot.
How about being pro "decent people", regardless of gender.


----------



## over20

Holland said:


> Being pro men does not have to mean being very anti women which you seem to do a lot.
> How about being pro "decent people", regardless of gender.


I can be pro man...I do not have to conform to what you request.


----------



## Holland

Of course you don't, merely pointing out that some of us are more balanced. You clearly dislike women (but you are one???) 
You can do whatever you want, we all can.


----------



## over20

Holland said:


> Of course you don't, merely pointing out that some of us are more balanced. You clearly dislike women (but you are one???)
> You can do whatever you want, we all can.[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> 
> Yes I am a woman......I do not dislike women...you are putting words into my mouth.....why is it such a hot spark that I might be the only woman that is pro male vs pro female?:scratchhead:


----------



## 12345Person

Holland said:


> Of course you don't, merely pointing out that some of us are more balanced. You clearly dislike women (but you are one???)
> You can do whatever you want, we all can.


No, you can't. You will do what I say, because I say so!


----------



## TiggyBlue

richie33 said:


> But no one can dictate who is allowed to look at them. If I said I only want a "10" to look at me it would come across really shallow.


:iagree:
No one can dictate how someone feels about who looks at them either, if neither is being rude to the other no harm done imo.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

kipani said:


> Eh yeah, but its not you, dont you get it? It's your wallet. Its the fun your wallet can provide for them. Do you -truly- understand the brand of woman you're 'attracting'? She'd likely unplug life support without a second thought. To each their own though I guess. It sounds lonely to me.  Personally, money isn't a thing to me. My greatest love was broker than dirt, but reaalllllyyyyy hot. Like im talkin marathons. Id keep that dood drained.
> 
> D3 time, ciao all.


You're misinterpreting me so here's a long reply. lol 

Its not me or my wallet. Its me AND my wallet. They don't know my lifestyle when they meet me and I'm not interested in someone who *only* wants my wallet. My wallet alone wouldn't get me the kind of women I want - alone it will only get me a gold digger. But I'm not so naïve as to think it doesn't have an influence even on the good women. In my experience, women don't pick much for single traits - they're picking entire packages. Which means one element can be greater or lesser relative to another, while still keeping the same value.

What lifestyle affords other than status, is a greater opportunity to create connections and memories through activities. If I land a date at all, I know I'm at least "good enough" on looks. If it took thinking a guy was hot hot hot to date, most of the women I know would stay single a looong time, because they just don't think that many guys are smoking hot. He's got to be good looking enough, carry himself in a certain way (personality, charisma, charm whatever you want to call it), and have some sort of status - generally in that order. Looks simply don't win out above everything else, I know this for a fact. Tradeoffs are made. It doesn't even have to be money... some women go for a guy who will give them the down home country lifestyle they want.

My experience has been that women's sexual attraction isn't predominantly a function of looks. Gets me a ton of flak from specific women on this forum, and then a host of other women argue exactly what I'm saying in other threads. For the most part though, women aren't running around "omg he's so hot I want him inside me now" (some do, but I'd argue they're a minority). Even the hot guy gets rejected for issues she may have with the way he carries himself, who he is or what he does. Again, its the sum of the entire package. My impression from the women I've dated is that while I'm attractive enough, I'm not the best they could get; my personality, how I make them feel and how they see a life with me panning out are the clinchers. Now, perhaps you are very focused on only having the perfect physical specimen regardless of all other things, and that's totally you're right, but it's far from the norm of my experience with women. I'm pretty average looking, but I'm fun, and a decent blend of random crazy and serious on top of being a "catch" career wise - and I have no shortage of interest from women of all sorts. Do I care that part of my attraction is my lifestyle or income? No. Its no more shallow than my interest in her body. Either way for something to last, there has to be a connection of personality imo - and I've got a lot better ways to see that happen than a 23 year old waiter. Physical traits, money, lifestyle... these are just hooks. These things don't make something last. Looks don't even make for more/better sex over the long term imo. The best sex of my life wasn't with the hottest girl I've ever been with. It was with the woman I had the greatest mutual emotional connection with.

Even something as simple as being in college - an indicator of future stability and success - will put a less physically attractive guy above a more physically attractive guy (within reason) with women who are seeking more than just sex. Besides, its hard to fall for a guy when you're thinking in the back of your mind, "wow, this guy is going no where", regardless of how hot he is.

My observation is that women don't just pick physical specimens, they're picking attitudes and at least lifestyle potential. This is why drop outs are such unattractive relationship material. You might want to have sex with the sweaty lawn guy drop out, but you sure as hell don't want to live his lifestyle and wind up in a trailer with him. Am I right?


----------



## Faithful Wife

nuclear...You know, if you haven't read the red pill sad sickening cr*pola, I highly recommend that you don't. It is just depressing and only applies to the people who read and believe it. I assumed the dude who called himself "Redpill" (who has since been banned) was one of those readers and that's why I threw that cr*p science they believe back at him...but I wouldn't want to stain a mind with that cr*p if you've never read it before, so please don't.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> My observation is that women don't just pick physical specimens, they're picking attitudes and at least lifestyle potential. This is why drop outs are such unattractive relationship material. You might want to have sex with the sweaty lawn guy drop out, but you sure as hell don't want to live his lifestyle and wind up in a trailer with him. Am I right?


Well,no I totally would not live that lifestyle.He'd have to move into my awesome house w/me and take care of our lawn in addition to adding extra cute amazing landscaping while I'm at work

It really doesn't matter how much money he has or makes as long as he isn't directionless and a slacker.If he's a sweaty lawn guy drop out,he's still working pretty darn hard in my eyes and just made a choice he thought was right at the time. 

It's the lay about slack asses I can't accept..no matter how hot they look.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> Well,no I totally would not live that lifestyle.He'd have to move into my awesome house w/me and take care of our lawn in addition to adding extra cute amazing landscaping while I'm at work
> 
> It really doesn't matter how much money he has or makes as long as he isn't directionless and a slacker.If he's a sweaty lawn guy drop out,he's still working pretty darn hard in my eyes and just made a choice he thought was right at the time.
> 
> It's the lay about slack asses I can't accept..no matter how hot they look.


If I present you the same guy, once as a lawn guy and once as a lawyer, you're telling me you wouldn't prefer the lawyer? Research says women quite definitively do. Which says career choice, further refined by these studies into "status", has attractive value.

If you accept that such status has value, then how much better looking does a lawn guy have to be than a lawyer for women to prefer the lawn guy? Now we're talking about the tradeoffs we see every day.

Women will say all day long that his success doesn't matter as long as he isn't a bum, but in EVERY study done on the subject, high status income/career was more strongly correlated to high attractiveness ratings than looks alone. This is one of those times that I think that women's responses have been conditioned, and the desire to say that career/income don't matter, is the result of what you're expected to say. When career is anecdotal and focus placed on "looks"... the high status men are magically better looking.

The desire to avoid being "shallow" is a strong one for most people.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> If I present you the same guy, once as a lawn guy and once as a lawyer, you're telling me you wouldn't prefer the lawyer? Research says women quite definitively do. Which says career choice, further refined by these studies into "status", has attractive value.5 years ago I would have chosen the lawyer bc I was too dumb to know better.The woman I am today will choose lawn man without hesitation.
> 
> If you accept that such status has value, then how much better looking does a lawn guy have to be than a lawyer for women to prefer the lawn guy? Now we're talking about the tradeoffs we see every day.
> 
> This is the point I'm making. Women will say all day long that his success doesn't matter as long as he isn't a bum, but in EVERY study done on the subject, high status income/career was more strongly correlation to high attractiveness ratings than looks alone.
> 
> This is one of those times that I think that women's responses have been conditioned, and the desire to say that career/income don't matter, is the result of what you're expected to say. When career is anecdotal and focus placed on "looks"... the high status men are magically better looking.
> 
> The desire to avoid being "shallow" is a strong one for most people.


lol I don't care about looking shallow.I've freely admitted that I've broken up w/men for shallow reasons such as penis size and looks.


----------



## BostonBruins32

wait hold on. 

are we talking attraction for marriage or attraction for a few romps?

few romps: the looks vs succe$$ are more balanced, if not in favor of looks. 

marriage: its not even close. succe$$ by a landslide.

The only problem is if the marriage attraction is too unbalanced in favor of succe$$. Your wife may marry you, but she may not remain married to you if you are a wealthy tub of lard.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> 5 years ago I would have chosen the lawyer bc I was too dumb to know better.The woman I am today will choose lawn man without hesitation.


What's dumb about dating a lawyer? I haven't given any other information about the guy. All you can reasonably judge is that he's intelligent, disciplined and probably makes pretty good money. The lawn guy only signals - intelligence not required, doesn't make good money, and possibly even too undisciplined to have done more with his life. On what "pro" are you basing your choice? Disagreeing with me?  



ScarletBegonias said:


> lol I don't care about looking shallow.I've freely admitted that I've broken up w/men for shallow reasons such as penis size and looks.


You are one woman not concerned with being shallow. But again, every single study of female attraction has shown status to be more strongly correlated to attraction than looks. It causes a massive swing in the ratings of men.

How do you explain this?


----------



## 12345Person

So, you would rather marry the pretty stay at home mom? Or the pretty woman making 6 figures?

It's not really just about women. It's not even just about sex. It's about people and what they want in life.


----------



## Ikaika

Anonymous Person said:


> So, you would rather marry the pretty stay at home mom? Or the pretty woman making 6 figures?
> 
> It's not really just about women. It's not even just about sex. It's about people and what they want in life.



If every part of my life were the same except that I was single again, this would present big problems for me. I'm almost positive my criteria for finding a wife would make it impossible. She, new possible wife, would have to understand how to deal with my oldest son (mentally disabled). Yes, she would have my dedication as a loving husband but she would have to understand that she would be thrust into a role of being a mom of a special needs individual. I'm sorry this sounds selfish, but my criteria would transcend looks and income alone. My priorities are my priorities.


----------



## 45188

That's very noble Drerio.


----------



## Ikaika

kipani said:


> That's very noble Drerio.



It is the way it is, I lose sleep every week worrying about him as does my wife.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> What's dumb about dating a lawyer? I haven't given any other information about the guy. All you can reasonably judge is that he's intelligent, disciplined and probably makes pretty good money. The lawn guy only signals - intelligence not required, doesn't make good money, and possibly even too undisciplined to have done more with his life. On what "pro" are you basing your choice? Disagreeing with me?
> 
> what's dumb about dating a lawyer? For me personally? I'd rather not discuss it and insult anyone here who might be in a professional field like law,medicine,etc. My reasons are based on what I experienced in life so far.
> 
> You are one woman not concerned with being shallow. But again, every single study of female attraction has shown status to be more strongly correlated to attraction than looks. It causes a massive swing in the ratings of men.
> 
> How do you explain this?Why do I have to explain speaking for myself and giving an opinion that applies to my life? I'm very clear when I give my opinion that it is for me,about my situation. If you go back,I haven't disputed anything you've said...I've just given my .02 on what you said as it applies to my life


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> what's dumb about dating a lawyer? For me personally? I'd rather not discuss it and insult anyone here who might be in a professional field like law,medicine,etc. My reasons are based on what I experienced in life so far.


Ok. You associate this negative thing, whatever it is, with the entire field(s)?



ScarletBegonias said:


> Why do I have to explain speaking for myself and giving an opinion that applies to my life? I'm very clear when I give my opinion that it is for me,about my situation. If you go back,I haven't disputed anything you've said...I've just given my .02 on what you said as it applies to my life


I'm sorry, I took your statement as arguing against the relationship between status and attraction. Its sometimes hard for me to differentiate using one's experience to speak against a conclusion, versus pointing out oneself as an exception from the conclusion.

This is made even more difficult by the fact that everyone seems to claim to be an exception.


----------



## vellocet

kipani said:


> Sorry, ugly men.. Just the thought of them thinking about me that way just disgusts me. I don't care how sweet he is, or how sure of himself he is, it can't fix his face and body to me. It's just how I am. I know I'm not alone because most of my friends all feel the same way, except the nicer ones. Guys out with their wives or girlfriends are even lower on the scale for me though. Just how I am.


That wasn't the point. The point is this.

Good looking guy gives you a quick glance: He's a dream

Ugly guy gives you the same simple glance, not a lear and not licking his lips: A creep

You can have your attraction preferences to men. Nothing wrong with that.

Its just ridiculous that 2 men can give you the same kind of glance, but only one is a creep.

Guess I'm just wired differently. If an ugly woman gives me a glance, hell, I'm still flattered, just maybe not as much as a good looking woman. 

But unless they engage in creepy BEHAVIOR, there lies the difference.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Anonymous Person said:


> So, you would rather marry the pretty stay at home mom? Or the pretty woman making 6 figures?
> 
> It's not really just about women. It's not even just about sex. It's about people and what they want in life.


The money a woman makes is completely irrelevant to me. I want your woman making 6 figures because she's doing things I can relate to better than I can relate to being a SAHM. But whether she makes 6 figures or 20k/yr, I don't care - as long as she's decently educated and works.

Other men will prefer the SAHM and more traditional life, but money really isn't a factor for us... or at least, any men I know.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Ok. You associate this negative thing, whatever it is, with the entire field(s)?It colors my view,yes.If I wasn't married and a man in law or medicine attempted to date me I wouldn't even consider him as an option. I can give you one reason why that has nothing to do with the man or his character: I know personally I cannot handle the lifestyle that goes along with those professions.I can't date a man when I know his career choice most likely means he will have a certain type of lifestyle I can't gel with long term.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm sorry, I took your statement as arguing against the relationship between status and attraction. Its sometimes hard for me to differentiate using one's experience to speak against a conclusion, versus pointing out oneself as an exception from the conclusion.no worries,I just like to banter about my life sometimes bc it helps me determine if I still feel that way or if I have changed.It also helps me sort out who I really am bc sometimes I wonder about that.It helps to put my feelings out there.
> 
> This is made even more difficult by the fact that everyone seems to claim to be an exception.I can't speak for those who also claim to be the exception...wouldn't even dream of trying LOL
> I am smart enough to realize I'm not always the exception to general female rules and stereotypes.But usually when it involves career and money,I am the exception. I wasn't always this way though so I did fit into the box prior to my little bit of life experience.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> So..._men_ can judge women based on looks without their character called into question, but the moment a woman does she's shallow?
> 
> Cause that makes sense.


Everyone judges others on their looks when it comes to finding them attractive.

The point is if 2 people engage in the same exact behavior, then if one is a creep, then so should the other.

If an ugly man gives a girl a quick glance, not some creepy stare, he is not a creep. Same for an ugly woman.

Maybe there should be a national law that identifies the ugly people and they are required to wear blinders and never look in the direction of the opposite sex.


----------



## vellocet

Faithful Wife said:


> Let's see...we expect women to act like little good girls and say "oh yes, we could potentially be attracted to ANY man, as long as his heart is made of gold". Right?
> 
> But men say "you all have to be young and .7 waist-hip ratio or you are not hot". And that's ok. Right?


No, you all miss the point.

People have their attractions and preferences. Perfectly normal.

The point is it doesn't make someone a creep if they happen to look in your direction and they may not be to your liking.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

kipani said:


> They might take the lawyer, but they'd cheat on him for the hot lawn boy. *wink* Careful man, you're walkin a dangerous direction with that frame of mind. These studies you're reading must be written by guys. Guys aren't really that bright when it comes to what women want. :|
> 
> What REALLY makes a woman want to sleep with a man? | Mail Online


Each one I've read was a University study. The standard experiment involves photos various men shown to various women, on some of the photos, the man's occupation is listed. The women were asked to rate the men's *physical attractiveness*, or rank them in other experiments. The men with high status occupations were rated significantly more attractive than their low-status occupation selves, and their no occupation listed control.

Your black and white perception of this comes off immature to me. By the same logic you're applying, a man who was influenced to date you by your youthful good looks, WILL cheat on you with the next hot thing as soon as your youth fades. *wink* Dangerous frame of mind. (see how that works?) I don't fear a woman cheating on me with the lawn guy anymore than you fear a man one day leaving you for a younger woman.

There is however, a lot more involved in most relationships than his interest in her body or her interest in his money.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> I just like to banter about my life sometimes bc it helps me determine if I still feel that way or if I have changed.It also helps me sort out who I really am bc sometimes I wonder about that.It helps to put my feelings out there.


I can totally relate.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

kipani said:


> Guys aren't really that bright when it comes to what women want. :|
> 
> What REALLY makes a woman want to sleep with a man? | Mail Online


Odd, one of the psychologists who wrote the book this article is based off of is a man.

And this quote from the article:

"And there does seem to be an underlying logic in women's preference for tall men. In Western cultures, tall men tend to have higher socio-economic status than short men."

... sure does smack of evo-psych don't you think FW? Its in fact loaded with evo psych at almost every turn. But you know what also has higher socio-economic status? Actual money. You know another feature of men that other men tend to defer to? Success. 

Your article is focused on physical features, aside from the final paragraph, but still argues that these physical features are attractive for exactly the reason I point out that wealth is attractive even to non-gold diggers.

Ultimately, women are most often attracted to the things that are signs of being the top dog in the social order, and in the modern world, the top dog isn't necessarily a perfect physical specimen anymore. The old physical signals are still there, but they have a lot more socio-economic signals to compete with now.

I really get a kick out of Faithful Wife liking a post of such an evo psych ridden article. It points out the tribalism that really occurs in these discussions. Its not the points being made that matter, its who is making them and to what end.


----------



## TiggyBlue

ScarletBegonias said:


> It really doesn't matter how much money he has or makes as long as he isn't directionless and a slacker.If he's a sweaty lawn guy drop out,he's still working pretty darn hard in my eyes and just made a choice he thought was right at the time.


:iagree:


----------



## Faithful Wife

I didn't actually read the article. I tried to, but it wouldn't load. What I "liked" was kipani message to you, Dvls....and yes you can infer "why" I liked it and you'd probably be right.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> I didn't actually read the article. I tried to, but it wouldn't load. What I "liked" was kipani message to you, Dvls....and yes you can infer "why" I liked it and you'd probably be right.


Ah damn. The tribal narrative would have been more entertaining. Oh well, smooches to you too.


----------



## 45188

If you think looks don't matter more than money, go out with an ugly guy and show him your game, then see if he can get laid. Then go out, pretend to be broke as hell, and pick up a chick yourself. It's easy if you're good looking.

Regardless, I've turned men down for having red hair or being short, even when they had money so maybe I'm just physically shallow. *Shrugs*


----------



## ConanHub

I like being checked out by females of all ages, sizes, and attractiveness. I think it is a fun part of being human and I am never offended. I am a man and pretty comfortable with myself. I might have more reservations if I were a woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Bear with me, I wrote another book of a post. I'm wordy... it is what it is. :\



kipani said:


> If you think looks don't matter more than money, go out with an ugly guy and show him your game, then see if he can get laid. Then go out, pretend to be broke as hell, and pick up a chick yourself. It's easy if you're good looking.
> 
> Regardless, I've turned men down for having red hair or being short, even when they had money so maybe I'm just physically shallow. *Shrugs*



I don't think turning down a short guy or red hair is shallow. You want what you want. I don't date women over 5'7" -ish because I'm 5'10" and I'll be damned if I'm going to look like Mutt and Jeff when she wears heels. lol I also don't like a ton of freckles. Doesn't matter, someone out there does. 

I'm not sure that money matters a whole lot in the initial pickup other than to the degree that it shows he's not worried about money, and is obviously financially secure. It does heavily influence getting attention though, and lets face it, from one guy to the next most of us don't really stand out and positive differentiation is difficult. Being different, and getting that attention, makes a difference. 

As an example of this from personal experience is the attention I get driving different vehicles. I have two motorcycles, a truck and a car. The motorcycles get me a sh*t ton of attention, and women can't even see my face to know whether I'm attractive or not. Girls shout out their car windows at me without a clue as to whether I'm good looking or not - I presume this is some kind of attraction to the perception of motorcycles/risk? When I drive my truck, a nice '08 Tundra 4x4, I mostly blend in... I don't get a second look. But when I drive my car, a 2013 Porsche Boxster S (a nice car, but not obnoxiously flashy), women are craning necks and looking repeatedly. It gets attention. Now, there's plenty of women who dismiss the notion and are quick to mock it - and hey, I think its ridiculous too, but I see a huge difference of attention every time I'm on a bike or in my car. The attention is real: more looks, more stares, more smiles, more waves. I've piqued interest. Guys are oogling at the car/bikes, and women are usually trying to see who is driving it. All physical attraction being equal, the difference between going unnoticed and being noticed shouldn't be underestimated, and money can play a strong part in that - whether its nice clothes, a nice car... whatever. 

If nothing else, the house, the car the clothes... blah blah blah, all say this guy has his sh*t together and a lot of young women want the fairy tale. Now, I'm not ugly and fat, and if I were I'd probably need to be a hell of a lot richer, but I don't doubt for a second that my resources play a role in a young 20-something being interested in me over guys her age. I'm also not so naïve as to be unable to distinguish the ones who actually fall for me in the process from the ones who want to have a love affair with my money.

Where money really pours gas on the fire is during the early to mid dating attachment process where a lot of relationships fizzle and people bounce around dissatisfying serial dates or so-called "casual dating". Instead, you're showing them new things, taking them places, doing things that take money to do - even if they're you're ordinary things - like my racetrack or boating weekends. Regardless, I'm going on adventures with them at will doing things I'd be doing anyway. Last minute decisions to go party in New Orleans or Vegas for the weekend? Hell yeah. Young women eat this stuff up and if you have a half-decent looks/personality/chemistry, they attach. Its also why the types that want a traditional home and family - kids - don't stay interested in me. That's not what I want.

Physical attraction matters plenty, but it can be traded off like everything else. If you weren't up to their minimum acceptable physical standards, they wouldn't have accepted the first date. Virtually every girl I've dated has had reservations about my lack of hair. A month later, they rub the stubble on my head and its now endearing instead of unattractive. A decently attractive guy with a fun personality and money to play with without being pompous? From what I gather that's a catch.

I was a broke kid driving a mid-80s POS, waiting tables and living with room mates. I don't have to perform an experiment with an ugly friend. That very experiment is my own life's experience. I looked better at 22 - I was a fit Marine. I get a hell of a lot more attention from 20-something y/o women today than I did when I was that age. I chalk it up to confidence, personality and status that grew with age. Lord knows I didn't get better looking. 

Tattoo helps though. Chicks dig the tat. lol But by your definition of good looking, I must not be good looking. Its not easy to pick someone up relying primarily on who cues on my looks. The "eyes" across the bar if you will. I don't get many of them. No one I know does. Yet I date a lot of very attractive women; and I do so with "only" decent looks -and a lot of charisma, personality and status.


----------



## theroad

kipani said:


> If you think looks don't matter more than money, go out with an ugly guy and show him your game, then see if he can get laid. Then go out, pretend to be broke as hell, and pick up a chick yourself. It's easy if you're good looking.
> 
> Regardless, I've turned men down for having red hair or being short, even when they had money so maybe I'm just physically shallow. *Shrugs*


All your post means is that you are good looking enough package to be choosy.


----------



## vellocet

Choosy about what? She is married


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Vellocet... about her having turned men down for superficial reasons. IMO, we're all as choosy as we *can* be.


----------



## vellocet

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Vellocet... about her having turned men down for superficial reasons. IMO, we're all as choosy as we *can* be.


Its perfectly fine to turn people down for superficial reasons. We all have things that attract us.

I have a problem with the idea that a guy is a creep if he happens to find her attractive enough to give her a glance if he doesn't meet her beauty standards.
If anything she should be thankful she isn't "ugly" like them.

Having standards is fine. I do think even ugly people like to admire the beauty of others. Calling them creepy for it is insulting, elitist, and a high form of snobbery.

I sure as hell wouldn't look down on an ugly woman if she gives me a look.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

a couple final thoughts:

1. 'evolutionary psychology' occurred at the dawn of, or just before the dawn of humankind. i.e. before the advent of pharmacies....

2. to the guy 'red pill' who was banned and then tried to come back as 'red and blue pill' or something like that, and may have been banned again. you might have a much better chance at getting back on if your next username does not contain the word "pill" at all. and also no colors...and youll slip right by..


----------



## Caribbean Man

nuclearnightmare said:


> a couple final thoughts:
> 
> 1. 'evolutionary psychology' occurred at the dawn of, or just before the dawn of humankind. *i.e. before the advent of pharmacies....*
> 
> .


Good point^^^!


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Vellocet... about her having turned men down for superficial reasons. IMO, we're all as choosy as we *can* be.


I don't know if it superficial but I turned down wanting to go on dates with women (before I was married, friends try to set me up with - in my younger days) for reasons I'm sure most would find even more appalling.

Kipani is who she is and wants to be choosy, so be it. If she wants to be creeped out because someone she thinks is ugly "checking her out", who really cares. She would not have to be worried about this old guy checking her out, totally not my type. But I don't make it a point of checking women out, my wife is plenty beautiful for me. Do I glance at a beautiful woman now and then, sure, but I give very little thought beyond that casual glance.

I just don't see where any of it really matters, and my simple opinion.


----------



## theroad

theroad said:


> All your post means is that you are good looking enough package to be choosy.





vellocet said:


> Choosy about what? She is married


Choosing when she was on the market.


----------



## over20

ConanHub said:


> I like being checked out by females of all ages, sizes, and attractiveness. I think it is a fun part of being human and I am never offended. I am a man and pretty comfortable with myself. I might have more reservations if I were a woman.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You hit the nail on the head friend....thank you for sharing.....


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Tattoo helps though. Chicks dig the tat.


A little OT but it's so weird.I LOVE ink on people,well done ink of course.But of the serious relationships I've had,none of those guys had ink.
DH says he doesn't like ink but gets all horny and grabby if I show up w/something new on my body.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> A little OT but it's so weird.I LOVE ink on people,well done ink of course.But of the serious relationships I've had,none of those guys had ink.
> DH says he doesn't like ink but gets all horny and grabby if I show up w/something new on my body.


Smart girl. Tattooed guys are trouble.  jk

But yeah, I've had a lot of positive feedback. Getting my first one was just one of those moments I wanted to throw caution to the wind and just do it. Me and a girl just went and got tats together at a moments notice. Sounds retarded but it was really life affirming to throw away worry and go. Plus, the meanings people give to them can be pretty cool.


----------



## Thound

To me all this shallow talk boils down to you are attracted to who you attracted to. Its just part of who you are. Saying that, you can be nice when turning down offers. IMO many people have probably passed on what could have been the best relationship of their life because they were not attracted to that person. Not right or wrong. It is what it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tornado

Its always been kinda funny to me when a woman goes for the so hot sexy hunk then ends up in a terrible relationship. All the time turning down and turning up her nose and a decent.guy that doesnt meet her standard of drop dead gorgeous. Of course it happens to men too.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

It's kinda fun not being drop dead gorgeous,I can't imagine the pressure to keep that up.It's also nice being married to a man most women would consider "eh average". I think he's smokin hot,always have and he thinks I'm gorgeous.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Scarlet, you're a hottie. Quit kidding yourself.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Scarlet, you're a hottie. Quit kidding yourself.


lol whateva


----------



## Thound

ScarletBegonias said:


> It's kinda fun not being drop dead gorgeous,I can't imagine the pressure to keep that up.It's also nice being married to a man most women would consider "eh average". I think he's smokin hot,always have and he thinks I'm gorgeous.


Your husband means every bit of it when he says your gorgeous. It pisses me off when I tell my wife that and she says shes not. Its like shes calling me a liar.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Thound said:


> Your husband means every bit of it when he says your gorgeous. It pisses me off when I tell my wife that and she says shes not. Its like shes calling me a liar.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure he does mean it,it's all in the eye of the beholder as they say.I try to always smile brightly and tell him thank you even if I'm not feeling it inside that particular moment.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't either. My complaint was that you seemed to be glossing over the fact that the women object to those male preferences as being "shallow" just as men are objecting here.
> 
> We all want what we want. If someone calls me shallow for my preferences I couldn't care less. I'm just saying the reactions from women on such things are exactly the same.


I don't care what someone prefers. We all have traits we're attracted to, whether that be big penises or big boobs or an athletic figure, etc. I don't think it's shallow to want those things/be attracted to them at all.


----------



## Created2Write

over20 said:


> Touche....I want to apologize. I was not fair to Kipani. It is a very hot button for me when women judge a man by his penis size and age. I am VERY pro men, especially my own. I do not male bash EVER. We women hate and despise when men do this to us, therefore we shouldn't boast about doing it back to them.


I don't man bash, either. I may not like an individual man, or a general mindset that some men have, but I don't hate men. I married one, after all. And I think it's important to see the difference between man bashing and having a personal preference. I'm not attracted to fat men. That may be harsh, but it is NOT bashing men. Just like a man could say he's not attracted to women with curves, and that isn't women bashing. Just a preference. 

kipani wasn't man bashing either.


----------



## Created2Write

Holland said:


> Being pro men does not have to mean being very anti women which you seem to do a lot.
> How about being pro "decent people", regardless of gender.


QFT!


----------



## Ikaika

Created2Write said:


> I don't care what someone prefers. We all have traits we're attracted to, whether that be big penises or big boobs or an athletic figure, etc. I don't think it's shallow to want those things/be attracted to them at all.



We forget that 70% of our receptive abilities are found in our eyes. And, that we have a large portion of our neo-cortex dedicated to vision.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

drerio said:


> We forget that 70% of our receptive abilities are found in our eyes. And, that we have a large portion of our neo-cortex dedicated to vision.


I love it when you talk all technical


----------



## Ikaika

ScarletBegonias said:


> I love it when you talk all technical



Sorry, hazard of my profession. Must learn to turn off portions my brain when posting. I don't mean to upset some people, but sometimes I do.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

drerio said:


> Sorry, hazard of my profession. Must learn to turn off portions my brain when posting. I don't mean to upset some people, but sometimes I do.


If you start talking about her cones and your rods, I'm leaving.


----------



## vellocet

drerio said:


> I don't know if it superficial but I turned down wanting to go on dates with women (before I was married, friends try to set me up with - in my younger days) for reasons I'm sure most would find even more appalling.
> 
> Kipani is who she is and wants to be choosy, so be it. If she wants to be creeped out because someone she thinks is ugly "checking her out", who really cares.



I agree, but it doesn't make a guy a creep just because he isn't attractive. Ugly guys like to appreciate the attractiveness of women as well as the good looking guys, I am sure.


----------



## Jellybeans

drerio said:


> Sorry, hazard of my profession. Must learn to turn off portions my brain when posting. I don't mean to upset some people, but sometimes I do.


I think it's COOL!


----------



## Ikaika

vellocet said:


> I agree, but it doesn't make a guy a creep just because he isn't attractive. Ugly guys like to appreciate the attractiveness of women as well as the good looking guys, I am sure.



Totally agree, perception is not the fault of the less attractive male.


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> If you start talking about her cones and your rods, I'm leaving.



I think someone already mentioned rods :rofl:


----------



## ScarletBegonias

drerio said:


> Sorry, hazard of my profession. Must learn to turn off portions my brain when posting. I don't mean to upset some people, but sometimes I do.


Why do you do that hon? I was being silly,not being upset or offended. No need to apologize! You haz smartz,show it off and wow us! If anyone gets upset about that they can go sh*t in their hat


----------



## vellocet

drerio said:


> Totally agree, perception is the the fault of the less attractive male.


Meaning what?


----------



## Created2Write

vellocet said:


> Everyone judges others on their looks when it comes to finding them attractive.
> 
> The point is if 2 people engage in the same exact behavior, then if one is a creep, then so should the other.
> 
> If an ugly man gives a girl a quick glance, not some creepy stare, he is not a creep. Same for an ugly woman.
> 
> Maybe there should be a national law that identifies the ugly people and they are required to wear blinders and never look in the direction of the opposite sex.


You're making this into a much bigger deal than it is. _One woman_ made that comment. For her, one is a creep and one isn't. Not every woman is this way.


----------



## Created2Write

vellocet said:


> No, you all miss the point.
> 
> People have their attractions and preferences. Perfectly normal.
> 
> The point is it doesn't make someone a creep if they happen to look in your direction and they may not be to your liking.


*For one woman*, it makes them a creep. It doesn't mean they actually are one. It just means they won't have a shot with her. So? There are plenty of women who likely wouldn't see those same guys as creeps. 

Sheesh.


----------



## Ikaika

vellocet said:


> Meaning what?



Meaning that a less attractive male who glances to appreciate an attractive female is not a creep, regardless of what the woman may assume. Her perception is only valid to her but no reflection upon him.

ETA: reread my post and edits help


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> I agree, but it doesn't make a guy a creep just because he isn't attractive. Ugly guys like to appreciate the attractiveness of women as well as the good looking guys, I am sure.


She's allowed to feel someone is a creep based on whatever criteria her brain tells her to use.Just like you're allowed to say someone isn't a creep based on your own personal criteria and perception of the situation. 

So what if she feels this way? Unless she shouts out 
"HEY! YOU THERE! CREEP! You're an ugly mofo stop checking me out!" then who is it harming?? no one.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> You're making this into a much bigger deal than it is. _One woman_ made that comment. For her, one is a creep and one isn't. Not every woman is this way.


Where did I say every woman is this way? I am specifically referring to the comment of one woman.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I could understand a line drawn at "ugly guys who look with intent to be seen looking" -you know what I'm talking about. Him wanting her to see that he's interested as if to induce her to return interest. I get how that might be icky.

I don't really understand being grossed out by a guy she doesn't find attractive having a look so long as he's not emphasizing to her that he's doing so.

Still, its her mind. She's well within her right to be grossed out by whatever she is.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> *For one woman*, it makes them a creep. It doesn't mean they actually are one. It just means they won't have a shot with her. So? There are plenty of women who likely wouldn't see those same guys as creeps.
> 
> Sheesh.


And again, I am referring to the one post by the one woman.

Sheesh


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

drerio said:


> I think someone already mentioned rods :rofl:


Rods are always the first thing to come up.


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Rods are always the first thing to come up.



That is a definite Freudian slip


----------



## Created2Write

vellocet said:


> Where did I say every woman is this way? I am specifically referring to the comment of one woman.


You're taking it too seriously, is my point.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> She's allowed to feel someone is a creep based on whatever criteria her brain tells her to use.Just like you're allowed to say someone isn't a creep based on your own personal criteria and perception of the situation.
> 
> So what if she feels this way? Unless she shouts out
> "HEY! YOU THERE! CREEP! You're an ugly mofo stop checking me out!" then who is it harming?? no one.


Well ok then.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> Well ok then.


Why the eye-roll? If you don't agree,just say so...don't be all passive aggressive about it.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> You're taking it too seriously, is my point.


No, its insulting to guys who weren't born as gifted as herself in the looks department.

Its one thing to have your preferences in one's attraction to someone. Its another to think you are so much above people because they weren't as lucky in the looks department.

Like I said, I'd never look down on an ugly woman if she found me attractive. She's a human f'ing being.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> Why the eye-roll? If you don't agree,just say so...don't be all passive aggressive about it.


Oh geez, you're going to post what you did, like you did, then complain about passive aggressive responses?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> Unless she shouts out
> "HEY! YOU THERE! CREEP! You're an ugly mofo stop checking me out!" then who is it harming?? no one.


This reminds me of a time when I was a teenager and became completely mesmerized by this one girl... I didn't even realize I was starring and totally zoned out.

Then she goes, "Take a picture babe it'll last longer." 

I was petrified that I had lost all awareness of what I was doing. 

Today I would have said something snarky or c*cky, maybe even flirted. But back then this put me in full retreat mode thinking this girl had just totally verbally slapped me. lol


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> Oh geez, you're going to post what you did, like you did, then complain about passive aggressive responses?


How was my reply passive aggressive? Specifically what about my direct response to you is passive aggressive? I gave you my opinion on the matter.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> How was my reply passive aggressive? Specifically what about my direct response to you is passive aggressive? I gave you my opinion on the matter.


I didn't say it was passive aggressive.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> Oh geez, you're going to post what you did, like you did, then complain about passive aggressive responses?





vellocet said:


> I didn't say it was passive aggressive.


If that reply doesn't covertly imply my post was passive aggressive,what did you mean by it?


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> If that reply doesn't covertly imply my post was passive aggressive,what did you mean by it?


I said posting like you did. Basically frothing at the mouth about it.

Look, we'll just agree to disagree.

You think its fine for someone to feel superior to others and think they are creeps if they don't fit ones' standards, I think it would be piss poor character on my part to feel superior to people that don't look as good as me.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> I said posting like you did. Basically frothing at the mouth about it.
> 
> Look, we'll just agree to disagree.
> 
> You think its fine for someone to feel superior to others and think they are creeps if they don't fit ones' standards, I think it would be piss poor character on my part to feel superior to people that don't look as good as me.


ROFL frothing at the mouth about it? oh my you've read me wrong.

Thanks for making me laugh though,I was having a dull day prior to that:rofl:


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> ROFL frothing at the mouth about it? oh my you've read me wrong.
> 
> Thanks for making me laugh though,I was having a dull day prior to that:rofl:


Anytime


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> You think its fine for someone to feel superior to others and think they are creeps if they don't fit ones' standards, I think it would be piss poor character on my part to feel superior to people that don't look as good as me.


Yes,I feel it is fine for someone to feel superior provided they do it in their own head instead of outright expressing it to the person.You can feel whatever you want inside your own mind.That's part of the privilege of having a mind,imho.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> Yes,I feel it is fine for someone to feel superior provided they do it in their own head instead of outright expressing it to the person.You can feel whatever you want inside your own mind.That's part of the privilege of having a mind,imho.


ok


----------



## 45188

I can feel when somebody is staring, and I can feel when they're leering. And dvls was spot on when he said that sometimes, the guys just stare too long. To where it becomes eye rape rather than appreciation. And sorry, I'm not good with that. Besides, if they're shallow enough to stare, I'm shallow enough to think they're unattractive. *Shrugs* Not like I say it outloud - after all they are human beings. =p 

Besides, staring is flirting. If I stare at a guy, I'm sending him an invite. Im saying Hey, you there, I find you attractive. You got a chance with me. So I feel sorry for the girls they're with when they're caught staring at me. It's beyond appreciation. It's an invitation. You'd be surprised, most young girls find it very unwelcoming..

https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110105141530AA6q8Kb

https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100119200513AAEAcJ4

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=creepy+old+man

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt80540.html


----------



## Ikaika

vellocet said:


> I said posting like you did. Basically frothing at the mouth about it.
> 
> 
> 
> Look, we'll just agree to disagree.
> 
> 
> 
> You think its fine for someone to feel superior to others and think they are creeps if they don't fit ones' standards, *I think it would be piss poor character on my part to feel superior *to people that don't look as good as me.



Basically what I was trying to express except that I would rather suggested it is telling of character of the the female to feel that way, but in no way does that reflect reality on the less attractive male who is glancing at her. After all, I'm an old guy, pretty sure that puts me in creep mode :rofl: 

I am in no way offended how one wants view me, I'm very comfortable in my skin.


----------



## Ikaika

kipani said:


> I can feel when somebody is staring, and I can feel when they're leering. And dvls was spot on when he said that sometimes, the guys just stare too long. To where it becomes eye rape rather than appreciation. And sorry, I'm not good with that. Besides, if they're shallow enough to stare, I'm shallow enough to think they're unattractive. *Shrugs* Not like I say it outloud - after all they are human beings. =p



My personal philosophy, if it is more than five seconds, at least say something friendly (not some pick up line, no no) to offset any awkward moment. But, that is probably more cultural than anything else. I give Aloha, just don't spread Aloha. After all I'm a happily married man


----------



## Faithful Wife

tornado said:


> Its always been kinda funny to me when a woman goes for the so hot sexy hunk then ends up in a terrible relationship. All the time turning down and turning up her nose and a decent.guy that doesnt meet her standard of drop dead gorgeous. Of course it happens to men too.


And it has always been kinda funny to me that for some reason, a hot sexy hunk is assumed to always be someone who is "terrible in relationships".

And also, men are the only ones who make this assumption.

I know plenty of so hot sexy hunks who are in wonderful relationships. I'm married to one! But I know many others, too.


----------



## pidge70

Hell, I just enjoy being checked out at all.


----------



## 45188

I'm dating a hot dude. He's a big gamer and I'm a web designer, so we're pretty well matched. He even got snipped for me.  I think its the guys with low self esteem who tend to stray, no? Blows my mind why people try to keep them around and fix them. It's like "HE BETRAYED YOU. Time to trade up!"


----------



## Fozzy

pidge70 said:


> Hell, I just enjoy being checked out at all.


Word


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> And also, men are the only ones who make this assumption.


That's not so. I've heard plenty of women lament their weakness for "studly azzholes", even saying things like "why do all the hot guys have to be azzholes!?"

Men have an equivalent saying, "Why are all the hot women stuck up b*tches?"

Answer: because they can be.


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That's not so. I've heard plenty of women lament their weakness for "studly azzholes", even saying things like "why do all the hot guys have to be azzholes!?"
> 
> Men have an equivalent saying, "Why are all the hot women stuck up b*tches?"
> 
> Answer: because they can be.


Don't worry both hot men and hot women will be my age some day and hell you just have fun in life at that point. Anyone who can't laugh at themselves I find suspect.


----------



## Created2Write

vellocet said:


> No, its insulting to guys who weren't born as gifted as herself in the looks department.
> 
> Its one thing to have your preferences in one's attraction to someone. Its another to think you are so much above people because they weren't as lucky in the looks department.
> 
> Like I said, I'd never look down on an ugly woman if she found me attractive. She's a human f'ing being.


It's not insulting at all. Just because she has her preferences doesn't mean the person actually _is_ ugly or creepy. And it's not arrogant or "looking down" to look at someone and say, "They're hideous." It's being honest about ones desires. 

I can appreciate someone being a human being, and have absolutely no attraction whatsoever for them. And, frankly, some people come across as creepy even if they don't mean to. It's not shallow/insulting to hold that opinion.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

drerio said:


> Don't worry both hot men and hot women will be my age some day and hell you just have fun in life at that point. Anyone who can't laugh at themselves I find suspect.


Have you seen my hair? Me neither.


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Have you seen my hair? Me neither.


I've read a number of women on TAM going on an on about men who are bald. 

Well, I have a genetics issue with chest hair, basically there is none. Apparently I have read more often than not that women love to run their hands on a mans chest mane.


----------



## pidge70

My grandma always said, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I firmly believe you can find beauty in anyone/anything, as long as you look for it.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> It's not insulting at all.


Being considered a creep PURELY on the basis of looks? I guess the case could be made that someone would not be insulted by that when they consider the source.



> Just because she has her preferences doesn't mean the person actually _is_ ugly or creepy.


Exactly the point I was making. Thank you.




> And it's not arrogant or "looking down" to look at someone and say, "They're hideous." It's being honest about ones desires.


Will simply have to disagree with you there.




> I can appreciate someone being a human being, and have absolutely no attraction whatsoever for them.


So can I. That's natural.




> And, frankly, some people come across as creepy even if they don't mean to. It's not shallow/insulting to hold that opinion.


If they come off creepy, then its creepy. Has nothing to do with their looks. Just the kind of looks they give.


----------



## 45188

*Shrugs* Like I said man. They're shallow enough to stare because I look good, I'm shallow enough to judge their looks right back. *Wink* It's no double standard. I hold the right just as they do. If I find them unattractive so what? Not like I can help it. I mean if you have a chance with 2 girls, both with decent personalities, but one is prettier and one is unattractive, you're probably gonna bag the prettier one.


----------



## Fozzy

drerio said:


> I've read a number of women on TAM going on an on about men who are bald.
> 
> Well, I have a genetics issue with chest hair, basically there is none. Apparently I have read more often than not that women love to run their hands on a mans chest mane.


I started balding in my 20's. I chose not to fight nature, so instead I shave my head. Now the ladies can check themselves out by looking at the reflection on the back of my head.


----------



## Ikaika

Fozzy said:


> I started balding in my 20's. I chose not to fight nature, so instead I shave my head. Now the ladies can check themselves out by looking at the reflection on the back of my head.


Awesome attitude. :smthumbup:


----------



## Created2Write

Age itself doesn't necessarily mean that one is _un_attractive. The issue I have is that all too often the older one gets, the less they care about their health and appearance. But one can be young with that attitude, and I would find them unattractive regardless of how much money they made. Valuing oneself, regardless of age, is an attractive quality. I wouldn't find anyone attractive who didn't have that attitude. So, yes, while an older man who keeps himself healthy may be attractive, it doesn't mean I will be attracted _to_ them. That's the difference.


----------



## vellocet

kipani said:


> *Shrugs* Like I said man. They're shallow enough to stare because I look good, I'm shallow enough to judge their looks right back. *Wink* It's no double standard. I hold the right just as they do. If I find them unattractive so what? Not like I can help it.


*Shrugs* you clearly haven't read a thing I said. Attraction is natural and people have their preferences. That's the way it goes.
You don't have to be attracted to ugly guys. That's understandable.

Its your attitude. An ugly person isn't automatically a creep if he simply looks your way. He can admire can't he?

Now if he leers or stares, then point taken.




> I mean if you have a chance with 2 girls, both with decent personalities, but one is prettier and one is unattractive, you're probably gonna bag the prettier one.


Again, you missed the point and didn't read a word I said. I'd go with the one I was more attracted to. But I wouldn't look down on the unattractive one or think she is a creep.

However, I wouldn't dismiss the one that wasn't as attractive. Personality wins me over in the end.


----------



## Ikaika

Created2Write said:


> Age itself doesn't necessarily mean that one is _un_attractive. *The issue I have is that all too often the older one gets, the less they care about their health and appearance*. But one can be young with that attitude, and I would find them unattractive regardless of how much money they made. Valuing oneself, regardless of age, is an attractive quality. I wouldn't find anyone attractive who didn't have that attitude. So, yes, while an older man who keeps himself healthy may be attractive, it doesn't mean I will be attracted _to_ them. That's the difference.


Not always true. I went through the unhealthy phase in my 30's. Way more healthy energetic now in my 50's. Of course, as mentioned before it is purely to fight against my own genetics, family history of heart disease. 

But, I can all too often see your point.


----------



## Created2Write

vellocet said:


> Being considered a creep PURELY on the basis of looks? I guess the case could be made that someone would not be insulted by that when they consider the source.


One persons preference isn't insulting, even if their conclusion/opinion is based entirely on looks. It's their preference, they're entitled to it. As long as they keep it to themselves, it's not insulting anyone. 



> Exactly the point I was making. Thank you.


No, you missed the point. What one person thinks doesn't effect you unless they verbalize it. Hence, not insulting. 



> If they come off creepy, then its creepy. Has nothing to do with their looks. Just the kind of looks they give.


Not true. How one looks can play a part in whether one is considered creepy. Age can also play a role. If a guy looks old enough to be my dad and he won't stop staring at my chest, guess what? CREEPY!


----------



## 45188

I guess if I felt I could take them out if it came to that, it wouldn't be such an issue. Old guys staring is ALWAYS creepy. Its nice you're not shallow I guess Vel. I'll take from that that you dont fantasize about someone hotter while having sex with someone not so hot then.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Fozzy said:


> I started balding in my 20's. I chose not to fight nature, so instead I shave my head. Now the ladies can check themselves out by looking at the reflection on the back of my head.


Haha, exactly what I did.


----------



## Created2Write

drerio said:


> Not always true. I went through the unhealthy phase in my 30's. Way more healthy energetic now in my 50's. Of course, as mentioned before it is purely to fight against my own genetics, family history of heart disease.
> 
> But, I can all too often see your point.


I didn't say it was always true.


----------



## Ikaika

Created2Write said:


> I didn't say it was always true.


I know you didn't... as such it really is more about a message to others you don't have to let it all go just because you get older.


----------



## Created2Write

And by looks I don't just mean health and fitness. I also mean wardrobe choices, keeping themselves upkept, taking their oral health seriously, cleanliness, not having bad habits like smoking(bleh!) and chewing(double bleh!), etc.


----------



## Ikaika

Created2Write said:


> And by looks I don't just mean health and fitness. I also mean wardrobe choices, keeping themselves upkept, taking their oral health seriously, cleanliness, not having bad habits like smoking(bleh!) and chewing(double bleh!), etc.


I'm just shy of being a monk, except for that pesky vow of celibacy. I don't even drink, any longer. What is the point of drinking a beer if all I am going to do is fall asleep by 9pm. Benefit - no beer belly.


----------



## AliceA

I just had to add that being checked out by a kid was one of my worst experiences of being checked out, lol. Early twenties, walked by a boy who couldn't have been more than twelve and he did the whole loud appreciative thing, UGH! Give me an old geezer (no offence to any old geezers out there, I'm sure you're all awesome old geezers  ) checking me out any day over THAT! :rofl:


----------



## Created2Write

Even I'd be grossed out by a twelve year old doing that to me. Ick. lol.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> One persons preference isn't insulting, even if their conclusion/opinion is based entirely on looks. It's their preference, they're entitled to it. As long as they keep it to themselves, it's not insulting anyone.
> 
> 
> 
> No, you missed the point. What one person thinks doesn't effect you unless they verbalize it. Hence, not insulting.
> 
> 
> 
> Not true. How one looks can play a part in whether one is considered creepy. Age can also play a role. If a guy looks old enough to be my dad and he won't stop staring at my chest, guess what? CREEPY!


Ok then, if some woman breaks her neck to look in my direction next time, then I must assume she is a skank and a ho


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> Ok then, if some woman breaks her neck to look in my direction next time, then I must assume she is a skank and a ho


Assume whatever you want about her. That's on you,not her.


----------



## vellocet

kipani said:


> I guess if I felt I could take them out if it came to that, it wouldn't be such an issue. Old guys staring is ALWAYS creepy. Its nice you're not shallow I guess Vel. I'll take from that that you dont fantasize about someone hotter while having sex with someone not so hot then.


No, I don't fantasize about someone else while having sex. Why would I need to? The person I'm wanting and being turned on by is the person I am having sex with.

Now if you ask if I have ever fantasized about someone before, like when masturbating, then sure. But never when having sex with someone.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> Assume whatever you want about her. That's on you,not her.


I completely agree. So then what kipani says is on her, not the guy that admired her.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> I completely agree. So then what kipani says is on her, not the guy that admired her.


exactly,who said it was on him? I believe that was the entire point of the last several pages of back and forth.To show she can think whatever she wants about someone bc it's her impression and has nothing to do with the other person in reality. I'm amazed it took this long to get that message across. 
People are free to think and believe what they want about another person,doesn't make it fact,it's just an opinion.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> exactly,who said it was on him? I believe that was the entire point of the last several pages of back and forth.To show she can think whatever she wants about someone bc it's her impression and has nothing to do with the other person in reality. I'm amazed it took this long to get that message across.
> People are free to think and believe what they want about another person,doesn't make it fact,it's just an opinion.


Well when I say it, then its "Assume whatever you want, its on you". When she says it then its her right.

Its all in the obvious bias in which those opinions are conveyed.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

vellocet said:


> Well when I say it, then its "Assume whatever you want, its on you". When she says it the its her right.
> 
> Its all in the obvious bias in which those opinions are conveyed.


*facepalm* It's THE SAME for BOTH OF YOU. It is your right to assume WHATEVER you want about another person just as it's her right to assume whatever she wants. 


The opinion is the same for both of you. If she wants to consider a man a creeper bc he's fugly,it's on her and it's her right to feel that way. If you want to consider a woman a sl*t or wh*re bc she's checking you out,that's on you and it's your right to feel that way. 

I am so done with you,it's obvious you're being intentionally thick and argumentative and it's really old. The message isn't that complicated and if you haven't gotten it by now you never will.


----------



## vellocet

ScarletBegonias said:


> *facepalm* It's THE SAME for BOTH OF YOU. It is your right to assume WHATEVER you want about another person just as it's her right to assume whatever she wants.
> 
> 
> The opinion is the same for both of you. If she wants to consider a man a creeper bc he's fugly,it's on her and it's her right to feel that way. If you want to consider a woman a sl*t or wh*re bc she's checking you out,that's on you and it's your right to feel that way.
> 
> I am so done with you,it's obvious you're being intentionally thick and argumentative and it's really old. The message isn't that complicated and if you haven't gotten it by now you never will.


Awww, come on now


----------



## Ikaika

vellocet said:


> Ok then, if some woman breaks her neck to look in my direction next time, then I must assume she is a skank and a ho



My thinking is she needs glasses.


----------



## Jellybeans

Who is that in your avatar, Vellocet?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Looks like Doc Holliday played by Val Kilmer.


----------



## vellocet

drerio said:


> My thinking is she needs glasses.


:rofl: Nice one


----------



## vellocet

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Looks like Doc Holliday played by Val Kilmer.


Damn good acting job at that. I'm your huckleberry.


----------



## Created2Write

Exactly what SB said. It's anyone's right to assume whatever they want about anyone.


----------



## vellocet

Created2Write said:


> Exactly what SB said. It's anyone's right to assume whatever they want about anyone.


Do you really think my point was that someone shouldn't be able to think what they think? You simply, as SB did, stated the obvious.

Of course anyone has a right to their assumptions.


----------



## DarkHoly

This is all becoming really contrived


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

New line of discussion. Lets let this one die shall we?

Btw, vellocet, I'm pretty sure its against the law to refer to val Kilmer and "good acting" in the same breath. Your fine is in the mail.


----------



## heartsbeating

^ whah?! ......c'mon you gotta give him credit for Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone's, The Doors.


----------



## struggle

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> New line of discussion. Lets let this one die shall we?
> 
> Btw, vellocet, I'm pretty sure its against the law to refer to val Kilmer and "good acting" in the same breath. Your fine is in the mail.


Hey!! I liked him in Tombstone and a Ghost in the Darkness! And...hello....Willow? Freakin awesome lol. "Oooo...I'm really scared! No! Dont! There's a peck here with an acorn pointing at me!!"

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

Just no-one mention ...ahem... the one where he had a cape and a utility belt


----------



## struggle

heartsbeating said:


> Just no-one mention ...ahem... the one where he had a cape and a utility belt


Hahahaha....ok fine. I did watch that one a lot growing up though.

Ok so since this thread is about being checked out. Ive determined a great place to have that happen is in the gym. If you're single and looking, there is a plethora of men/women with their eyes peeled. At least to the gym I go to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ikaika

struggle said:


> Hahahaha....ok fine. I did watch that one a lot growing up though.
> 
> Ok so since this thread is about being checked out. Ive determined a great place to have that happen *is in the gym*. If you're single and looking, there is a plethora of men/women with their eyes peeled. At least to the gym I go to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If this happens in my gym, I need to be checked into a cell with a padded room. My gym is my home-gym  Ok, once in a while my wife comes in, so yea I get to check out a beautiful babe  poor her, she has to look at me in return.


----------



## struggle

drerio said:


> If this happens in my gym, I need to be checked into a cell with a padded room. My gym is my home-gym  Ok, once in a while my wife comes in, so yea I get to check out a beautiful babe  poor her, she has to look at me in return.


Hahahaha!! Or your pets may check you out or something!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## pidge70

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> New line of discussion. Lets let this one die shall we?
> 
> Btw, vellocet, I'm pretty sure its against the law to refer to val Kilmer and "good acting" in the same breath. Your fine is in the mail.


OMG! Are you insane? He was a *fantastic *Doc Holliday!

I feel our friendship is withering sir..........


----------



## AliceA

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> New line of discussion. Lets let this one die shall we?
> 
> Btw, vellocet, I'm pretty sure its against the law to refer to val Kilmer and "good acting" in the same breath. Your fine is in the mail.


NOOOOOO, you didn't just say that!

The Saint

That is all I'm going to say. I'm going to have to leave this thread now, it's terribly upsetting. Poor Val.


----------



## Dollystanford

He's not a bad actor. He's apparently an insufferable douche though


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

omg, not a bad actor!? Doc Holliday was his best work, and while good, wasn't so much as to nail down a reputation. I liked him in "Real Genius" too, but every other role he's been in was... forgettable.

You people all get two thumbs down! ;p


----------



## Caribbean Man

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> omg, not a bad actor!? Doc Holliday was his best work, and while good, wasn't so much as to nail down a reputation. I liked him in "Real Genius" too, but every other role he's been in was... forgettable.
> 
> You people all get two thumbs down! ;p


Dude,

Anyone who costars in a crime drama alongside Robert De Niro and Al Pacino is a hands down good actor that has earned his stripes.

Val Kilmer did just that when he acted as an explosives expert in a criminal gang headed by Al Pacino in that 1995 crime drama, HEAT.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Caribbean Man said:


> Dude,
> 
> Anyone who costars in a crime drama alongside Robert De Niro and Al Pacino is a hands down good actor that has earned his stripes.
> 
> Val Kilmer did just that when he acted as an explosives expert in a criminal gang headed by Al Pacino in that 1995 crime drama, HEAT.


Val Kilmer was in that movie? I didn't notice.


----------



## lovelygirl

Being checked out is flattering for both men and women.
Who doesn't like attention from time to time...


----------



## Fozzy

Val's an ok actor, but he's no Vin Diesel.


----------



## lovelygirl

struggle said:


> Hahahaha....ok fine. I did watch that one a lot growing up though.
> 
> Ok so since this thread is about being checked out. Ive determined a great place to have that happen is in the gym. If you're single and looking, there is a plethora of men/women with their eyes peeled. At least to the gym I go to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


lol yeah. A gym is the latest trend to check out and be checked out in return.


----------



## vellocet

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> New line of discussion. Lets let this one die shall we?
> 
> Btw, vellocet, I'm pretty sure its against the law to refer to val Kilmer and "good acting" in the same breath. Your fine is in the mail.


Yup, new line of discussion. Agreed.

Now I think he is one hell of an actor, made a damn good Doc Holliday.

Ok, enough t/j


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

:rofl: 

I purposefully redirected to Val in order to break the previous conversational pattern. 

But I fear, with Vin Diesel being held above Val in acting excellence, that we are only halfway down the hill and are now picking up speed. haha


----------



## bbdad

It must be a generational thing. I just go to the gym and lift. Sure, we socialize a bit, but the main focus is lifting. I don't care to see or be seen.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

bbdad said:


> It must be a generational thing. I just go to the gym and lift. Sure, we socialize a bit, but the main focus is lifting. I don't care to see or be seen.


Maybe a more individual thing. I occasionally like what I see, but don't go to be seen at all - I'd rather not be seen struggling to get that extra rep anyway! lol. I socialize a good deal and that makes the whole experience less dull.

If I start thinking about someone watching me in the gym, I'm inclined to get self-conscious, sloppy and even up the weight because I'm retarded.


----------



## Jellybeans

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> If I start thinking about someone watching me in the gym, I'm inclined to get self-conscious, sloppy and even up the weight because I'm retarded.


Meeeeeeeeeee, too! 

The other night I was in the gym and Hot Gym Guy got on the treadmill next to me and I swear my step was off. I felt so weird and stupid. Then when he got off, it was like I went back to normal form again. Hahahaha.

Attraction makes me stoopid.


----------



## Fozzy

This is why i bought my own treadmill and weight bench.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

I always took it badly when someone was looking at me while I was working out.My mind always jumped to the worst possible explanation."he's looking at you thinking you should be walking faster to work off that flab."


----------



## Caribbean Man

bbdad said:


> It must be a generational thing. I just go to the gym and lift. Sure, we socialize a bit, but the main focus is lifting. I don't care to see or be seen.


Nah.

It's a bodybuilder's thing.

We go to the gym to _gain _weight , not loose weight. We don't go to the gym get checked out , cause we're too busy bustin through plateaus and setting new PR's... 







But they check us out anyways..


----------



## bbdad

> It's a bodybuilder's thing.


That may be very true. I honestly could care less what anyone around me is doing, as long as they aren't in my way or causing damage to equipment or themselves.

I love looking at a hot woman as much, or more, as any other guy. But I find them an interference when I am at the gym. A women in a nice pair of yoga pants or yoga shorts is enough to make any guy break form on lifts..


----------



## Ikaika

bbdad said:


> That may be very true. I honestly could care less what anyone around me is doing, as long as they aren't in my way or causing damage to equipment or themselves.
> 
> I love looking at a hot woman as much, or more, as any other guy. But I find them an interference when I am at the gym. A women in a nice pair of yoga pants or yoga shorts is enough to make any guy break form on lifts..



Or in my case my dog coming in to lift her paw up asking for dinner. Yea, that's who checks me out.


----------



## roseblssm6

Jellybeans said:


> Meeeeeeeeeee, too!
> 
> The other night I was in the gym and Hot Gym Guy got on the treadmill next to me and I swear my step was off. I felt so weird and stupid. Then when he got off, it was like I went back to normal form again. Hahahaha.
> 
> Attraction makes me stoopid.


I was at the gym two days ago and a cute guy hopped on the treadmill next to me. I was like seriously? The whole row was open. Then yesterday he came in with a guy who looked JUST like him, so I'm assuming it's his brother or some male relative and they both hopped on the treadmills next to me. It was a little more crowded but still... I couldn't jog the way I wanted to. 
Most of the people at our gym are over 70 I think so it's not usually a probably lol.

I like getting checked out though. It's a great confidence booster. It happens more now than when I was younger. I suppose it's my confidence and that I try to look more approachable now. I used to scowl all the time in my teens and early 20's.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> Attraction makes me stoopid.


I try to keep cool, and for the most part I've figured out ways to keep it fairly well hidden when I'm expecting it... but when I'm caught off guard it makes me stoopid too.

I often wonder how the hell this can be an evolutionary advantage so as to have been passed to me. Do this, and thou shalt not mate. lol


----------



## Jellybeans

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I try to keep cool, and for the most part I've figured out ways to keep it fairly well hidden when I'm expecting it... but when I'm caught off guard it makes me stoopid too.
> 
> I often wonder how the hell this can be an evolutionary advantage so as to have been passed to me. Do this, and thou shalt not mate. lol


:rofl:

It's like being a kid back in school when you saw your crush and you just...couldn't... talk.

LOL. 

Luckily, I didn't go flying off the treadmill.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> I always took it badly when someone was looking at me while I was working out.My mind always jumped to the worst possible explanation."he's looking at you thinking you should be walking faster to work off that flab."


If you were actually unattractive, he'd avoid looking. He's still looking because he likes what he sees.

Its funny how our minds mess with us though isn't it? I'll see an attractive girl at the gym, and without even seeing her look at me, I sort of assume I'm being looked at and get all self-conscious and bizarrely feel the need to impress. I have to tell myself that in all probability she didn't notice me at all. The anxiety is all in my head and I just look like any other guy working out and nobody is paying attention to how heavy the weights I'm lifting are... nor would it make me more attractive if I was some workout beast. 

I hate that runaway mind. In situations where it sets in, I have to tell myself that I'm not being noticed, and mentally flip it around... "she feels anxiety that *I'm* looking". lol For some reason this works pretty well for me.

How's that for retarded?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Jellybeans said:


> It's like being a kid back in school when you saw your crush and you just...couldn't... talk.


Exactly. Sucks don't it? lol I had that really bad in high school. I still feel it here and there when I don't have my guard up, but I've found ways to mitigate it and get out of my head.


----------



## Fozzy

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> If you were actually unattractive, he'd avoid looking. He's still looking because he likes what he sees.
> 
> Its funny how our minds mess with us though isn't it? I'll see an attractive girl at the gym, and without even seeing her look at me, I sort of assume I'm being looked at and get all self-conscious and bizarrely feel the need to impress. I have to tell myself that in all probability she didn't notice me at all. The anxiety is all in my head and I just look like any other guy working out and nobody is paying attention to how heavy the weights I'm lifting are... nor would it make me more attractive if I was some workout beast.
> 
> I hate that runaway mind. In situations where it sets in, I have to tell myself that I'm not being noticed, and mentally flip it around... "she feels anxiety that *I'm* looking". lol For some reason this works pretty well for me.
> 
> How's that for retarded?


Have to remember that EVERYONE in that gym is likely just as neurotic as you are. Even the hot ones.


----------



## NewHubs

While on the topic of gyms etc...

Last night I was at the gym and I couldn't help but look at this girl doing squats while using a smith machine. She looked amazing in yoga pants! Mercy! 

Don't worry...I behaved myself and moved on from it


----------



## Jellybeans




----------



## bbdad

> nobody is paying attention to how heavy the weights I'm lifting are... nor would it make me more attractive if I was some workout beast


This is very likely true. I don't know many women that think: Wow, that guy benching 315 is way hotter than that guy benching 225. It is about the look, now about the weight that is moving.

Granted, we move some pretty hefty weight in the gym, but I seriously doubt that women are really noticing how many plates are on the bar.

But, I could be completely wrong on that. It is not like any male ever really understands the female thought process anyway


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Ah yoga pants... yes... there are times I have to walk away, get some water and literally konk myself on the head (yes, I actually physically do this... for some reason it matters) to get my eyes out of her goodies. Kinda wish there was a switch I could flip that made hot women invisible. Oh who am I kidding? Like I would ever flip that switch. Hell, its not even just hot women... its any woman wearing certain things with certain curves. smh.


----------



## Jellybeans

bbdad said:


> But, I could be completely wrong on that. It is not like any male ever really understands the female thought process anyway





DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Kinda wish there was a switch I could flip that made hot women invisible. Oh who am I kidding? Like I would ever flip that switch.


You guys... :rofl:


----------



## NewHubs

So true Jellybeans!


----------



## doubletrouble

I'll probably never go to a gym again. W hates the thought of me seeing other women (especially in toga pants) even though to me she's the only beautiful woman in the world. And she doesn't want women checking me out. 

Before her, when I would go to the gym, sure I'd notice the fitter gals (eye naturally travels there) but never was there to hit on anyone of be hit on, even being single. Just wanted to get there, burn it up, get back on my bicycle and get home. tra la la tee da


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

^ this is true, I don't hit on women at the gym. Just feels like bad form.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

I'd be so shocked to get hit on at the gym.I'd probably laugh,turn red,trip and fall off the treadmill. It must be so awkward to hit on a woman while she's working out. 
Working out at home is awesome LOL


----------



## struggle

Fozzy said:


> Have to remember that EVERYONE in that gym is likely just as neurotic as you are. Even the hot ones.


This is true..everyone is in their own head. I keep telling that to the guys I'm trying to convince to go to a yoga class. Lol
It's like they're embarassed to be seen because they've never done one before, so everyone will be looking at them. Or maybe they think it's too girly...I dunno. :scratchhead:
BUT I always tell them...don't worry...everyone else is too interested in themselves to worry about what you're doing.



Caribbean Man said:


> Nah.
> 
> It's a bodybuilder's thing.
> 
> We go to the gym to _gain _weight , not loose weight. We don't go to the gym get checked out , cause we're too busy bustin through plateaus and setting new PR's...
> 
> But they check us out anyways..


Also true. Bodybuilders take their gains VERY seriously. And yes...I am checking ya'll out hahahaha  I admire your hard work...you know?


I workout very hard. My PT has to tell me to slow down 
But I'm starting from scratch so I have a lot of time/effort to put in so I'm not at my goal yet. But I DO enjoy socializing there. At least say 'Hi' to the people I know or see regularly. Especially the women I know...they've been great. I don't want to stand around for an hour to talk, but it makes it much more enjoyable for me. I think it also has to do with the fact that I'm seperated from my H, so outside of work, it's a good source of socialization since I'm there 5-6 days a week.

There may be a day a week where I try to get in/get out without anyone seeing me because I either 1. Got sh*t to do or 2. Feeling anti-social that day. But that's not the majority of the time.

There's a guy that likes to watch me workout. I catch him all...the...time....staring. No creeper vibe though, thank God. And I know he's been trying to catch my eye, but he hasn't had the chance to. I'm not really pursuing it since I'm still going through all my separation drama right now. Plus, he's latino, and I'm kinda poopoo'd on latinos right now considering my STBXH. Is that mean?? lol Anyways, he finally caught me in a moment when he walked right by me, our eyes met, and I smiled at him. I think it took it to the 'next step', where I think he feels like he would be able to approach me now. Because after that...he just couldn't stop catching my eye and smiling.... Or.....I guess he can just keep smiling at me each time we walk by each other forever and ever and ever. Let's see what happens.

There's another guy, who seems older than what I'm probably interested in, but I can't tell because he shaves his head. He's more outgoing, and the moment we caught eyes he started talking to me right away. He also did not hesitate to ask to take me to eat. He said it in such a way that I was able to politely change the subject without answering the question, in two different conversations it happened. I was expecting him to get disheartened. But he hasn't. He makes a point everytime he sees me to say hi and talk to me, but the subject of food has not come up lol. I've actually warmed up to him and think a lot more of him because he didn't get all grouchy and butt-hurt, but I still don't think I'm interested.

That's a couple of the situations...Yeah...I need to get out more. Too much gym drama lol. I'm going to a pub crawl on Sat with a huge group of people. So hopefully I have some new stories for my TAM friends


----------



## Ikaika

Hitting on women in the gym? I will keep all my heavy breathing in the appropriate places with the appropriate woman.


----------



## bbdad

There are "meat market" gyms where I think it is perfectly acceptable and expected to be hit on by others. They are almost like a bar scene.


----------



## Fozzy

struggle said:


> This is true..everyone is in their own head. I keep telling that to the guys I'm trying to convince to go to a yoga class. Lol
> It's like they're embarassed to be seen because they've never done one before, so everyone will be looking at them. *Or maybe they think it's too girly*...I dunno. :scratchhead:
> BUT I always tell them...don't worry...everyone else is too interested in themselves to worry about what you're doing.


This


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

struggle said:


> There's another guy, who seems older than what I'm probably interested in, but I can't tell because he shaves his head. He's more outgoing, and the moment we caught eyes he started talking to me right away. He also did not hesitate to ask to take me to eat. He said it in such a way that I was able to politely change the subject without answering the question, in two different conversations it happened. I was expecting him to get disheartened. But he hasn't. He makes a point everytime he sees me to say hi and talk to me, but the subject of food has not come up lol. I've actually warmed up to him and think a lot more of him because he didn't get all grouchy and butt-hurt, but I still don't think I'm interested.


Sh*t!!! I've been found out!! You're the girl at the gym that keeps shutting me down!

j/k... but this sounds exactly like my style... except the disinterest. They're always interested eventually. I grow on you like a fungus you got from going barefoot in the gym shower.


----------



## struggle

bbdad said:


> There are "meat market" gyms where I think it is perfectly acceptable and expected to be hit on by others. They are almost like a bar scene.


How would you identify said "meat market" gym?

I think there's different groups of people that attend every gym. Those that are the "get in/get outs", those that workout seriously that want to be left alone, those that come with a workout buddy or buddies and stick to that group, or those that go there and use it as a social space as well


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I want to do yoga. People can think I'm too girly all they want. I'm the one in the room full of hot women in yoga pants.

Win.


----------



## struggle

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Sh*t!!! I've been found out!! You're the girl at the gym that keeps shutting me down!
> 
> j/k... but this sounds exactly like my style... except the disinterest. They're always interested eventually. I grow on you like a fungus you got from going barefoot in the gym shower.


Love it!!! Lol!! :smthumbup:


----------



## Ikaika

bbdad said:


> There are "meat market" gyms where I think it is perfectly acceptable and expected to be hit on by others. They are almost like a bar scene.


I don't think they give membership to old guys like me.  I do everyone a favor and keep my workouts at home. Nothing worse than seeing an "old fart" struggling through his workouts.


----------



## Ikaika

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I want to do yoga. People can think I'm too girly all they want. I'm the one in the room full of hot women in yoga pants.
> 
> Win.


In a room like that, automatically they would be referring to me as Uncle. Similar to "sir" in other cultures (sign of age).


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## Jellybeans

I never mix gym with pleasure. LOL. (Nor my professional life with pleasure). Idk. I go to the gym and get my work out on. I rarely talk to anyone there unless I see someone I know, which is not often. Sure, I see the regulars because we are all members and some of us work out on the same schedule but 99.8% of the time my headphones are plugged in my ear and I am rocking out to my music. I do appreciate the eyecandy when it walks by but I am not there to socialize. 

I had a friend who stopped asking me to her gym to work out cause "Jelly, you never work out with anyooooone!" It's true. I am solo gym'er. Separate brigade. Unless I a in a group class but evenstill I don't talk to anyone.


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## bbdad

> How would you identify said "meat market" gym?


You can typically tell on your first visit / tour of the gym. However, in the area I used to live, it was well known in the community which gyms were "meat markets" and which were not. The "meat markets" typically catered to the young 20's crowd. There were very few people over 30 in that gym. It was just their demographic.

I guess I will have to paraphrase a judge "I can't define a meat market gym exactly, but I know what it is when I see it." I was happy to go to the meat market gyms in my early 20's. I met a lot of fun people there and had a lot of dates from there.... But, the current gym is definitely a family oriented gym. My buddies and I are the odd balls as we are more the body builder / hard core weight lifters at the gym.


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## Ikaika

Jellybeans said:


> I had a friend who stopped asking me to her gym to work out cause "Jelly, *you never work out with anyooooone!*" It's true. I am solo gym'er. Separate brigade. Unless I a in a group class but evenstill I don't talk to anyone.


So there are times in my home gym that I am yelling at myself (my own built in drill instructor), calling myself "maggot" and the like. So my wife had one of her friends over one day. The friend asked my wife who I work out with. She sheepishly smiles, "himself and his evil alter personality" :rofl:


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## NewHubs

Jellybeans said:


> It's true. I am solo gym'er.


That's how I roll!


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## struggle

Jellybeans said:


> I never mix gym with pleasure. LOL. (Nor my professional life with pleasure). Idk. I go to the gym and get my work out on. I rarely talk to anyone there unless I see someone I know, which is not often. Sure, I see the regulars because we are all members and some of us work out on the same schedule but 99.8% of the time my headphones are plugged in my ear and I am rocking out to my music. I do appreciate the eyecandy when it walks by but I am not there to socialize.
> 
> I had a friend who stopped asking me to her gym to work out cause "Jelly, you never work out with anyooooone!" It's true. I am solo gym'er. Separate brigade. Unless I a in a group class but evenstill I don't talk to anyone.


Nothing wrong with that!!! My sisters are the same way. They are introverted naturally anyways. They would much rather just walk around, just the two of them, than go to the gym. And if they do go to the gym .... They put their earphones in and avoid eye contact. Just the way they prefer it! 

I know they be checking out the hot ones that walk by though  lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## struggle

bbdad said:


> You can typically tell on your first visit / tour of the gym. However, in the area I used to live, it was well known in the community which gyms were "meat markets" and which were not. The "meat markets" typically catered to the young 20's crowd. There were very few people over 30 in that gym. It was just their demographic.
> 
> I guess I will have to paraphrase a judge "I can't define a meat market gym exactly, but I know what it is when I see it." I was happy to go to the meat market gyms in my early 20's. I met a lot of fun people there and had a lot of dates from there.... But, the current gym is definitely a family oriented gym. My buddies and I are the odd balls as we are more the body builder / hard core weight lifters at the gym.


I could see that. I know what you mean now.

I went to a more family friendly gym in my teenage years. I've been to quite a few others and they are more catered to the younger crowd usually. I like mine now because it's a mix of everything. You've got families and all age ranges
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DvlsAdvc8

drerio said:


> So there are times in my home gym that I am yelling at myself (my own built in drill instructor), calling myself "maggot" and the like. So my wife had one of her friends over one day. The friend asked my wife who I work out with. She sheepishly smiles, "himself and his evil alter personality" :rofl:


This is awesome!


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## Caribbean Man

drerio said:


> So there are times in my home gym that I am yelling at myself (my own built in drill instructor), calling myself "maggot" and the like. So my wife had one of her friends over one day. The friend asked my wife who I work out with. She sheepishly smiles, "himself and his evil alter personality" :rofl:



I usually hit the gym during lunchtime when it's supposed to be empty. So this particular time, I was alone in the dumbbells room doing running the rack , doing dbell presses.
Music blaring in the background. 
When I reached the 110 lbs dumbbells , I was really hyped and shouted :
" _Aries , god of war , give me victory over these my enemies and my soul is yours , forever.._"

And attempted to press out a set of 10 reps. 
Only managed to squeeze out five reps and dropped the weights,
when I heard this voice behind me asking me," _are you ok?_"
I looked around embarrassed , and saw this Chinese girl looking at me with a very puzzled expression...

Maximum embarrassment.


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## Caribbean Man

struggle said:


> How would you identify said "meat market" gym?


Meat Market Gym = Planet Fitness or any gym where the dumbbell racks are filled with pink , purple and avocado coloured , neoprene covered dumbbells.


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## heartsbeating

I'm too much of a tight ass to pay double for a women's only gym.

And like Scarlet, if someone looks at me while I'm working out, I'll assume the worst like I'm doing something wrong with the weights or something... but I'm working on letting that go. When I went into the free-weights section recently, solo, for the first time, I made my way through all the buff dudes at the mirror with their weights and bars and looked for the DB I needed. I couldn't find the weight I was after. I felt self-conscious so I went with the slightly heavier weight because it was right in front of me. Then went back to a slightly quieter area and proceeded with my stationery lunges and squats. That slightly heavier weight had me PERSPIRING! but I did it. Thing is now that I know I can do that weight, next time I'll likely increase it again - so long as it's available otherwise who knows what I'll end up doing lol.

I'll be trying out different times and locations though. Would rather not go at 'prime-time, post-work, all the beautiful people in front of mirrors' o'clock.


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## roseblssm6

Caribbean Man said:


> Meat Market Gym = Planet Fitness or any gym where the dumbbell racks are filled with pink , purple and avocado coloured , neoprene covered dumbbells.


I think it depends on the Planet Fitness...That's where I go because it's the only affordable gym around and every morning I'm surrounded by Seniors. There's definitely no meat market to be found.


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## struggle

Caribbean Man said:


> I usually hit the gym during lunchtime when it's supposed to be empty. So this particular time, I was alone in the dumbbells room doing running the rack , doing dbell presses.
> Music blaring in the background.
> When I reached the 110 lbs dumbbells , I was really hyped and shouted :
> " _Aries , god of war , give me victory over these my enemies and my soul is yours , forever.._"
> 
> And attempted to press out a set of 10 reps.
> Only managed to squeeze out five reps and dropped the weights,
> when I heard this voice behind me asking me," _are you ok?_"
> I looked around embarrassed , and saw this Chinese girl looking at me with a very puzzled expression...
> 
> Maximum embarrassment.


:rofl::rofl: That is hilarious!! 
Y'all are so full of great stories here


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## Wolf1974

Caribbean Man said:


> Meat Market Gym = Planet Fitness or any gym where the dumbbell racks are filled with pink , purple and avocado coloured , neoprene covered dumbbells.


My gym is like days of our lives the real world addition. People watching is a great distraction when working out. The hot gal now hitting on the new guy or the awkward teen trying to get the models number lol. All very entertaining......maximum eye candy..

When I brought my GF the first time she called it "leer time fitness"


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## lovelygirl

You can find anything happening in my gym. Everybody hits on everybody. Also, some guys ask you out on a date.
There is this guy who has been asking me out on a date ( 3 times) but I always keep on rejecting him because I'm not really interested in him and I don't know why he keeps on insisting.

The funny part is when a guy hits on you EVENTHOUGH his girlfriend is a meter away, working out with him.
He stares at you ....waiting for you to make eye contact...

How disrespectful!


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## omgitselaine

I actually just came back from the gym and OMG I actually two young buddies hit on me  they must had been in the late teens or early twenties but so sweet of them to still find interest on little ole me  ??? 

I think I was bluushing the entire time we were chatting ??


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## bbdad

I think it is so funny how some people just focus on their workout and nothing else. Apparently last night at the gym, there was some lady, likely in early 40's, in way too short of booty shorts. She was working out in the squat rack next to mine. She must have been attractive to get the attention I heard she was getting.

I was doing a leg workout, so nothing in the world exists at that time but the bar and the squat rack for me.

My wife asked if I noticed the lady with half of her butt hanging out. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Another friend at the gym last night texted me and asked if I saw that as well. Again, I had no idea. When it is leg day, nothing exists but the bar, cage and PAIN!!


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## Ikaika

bbdad said:


> I think it is so funny how some people just focus on their workout and nothing else. Apparently last night at the gym, there was some lady, likely in early 40's, in way too short of booty shorts. She was working out in the squat rack next to mine. She must have been attractive to get the attention I heard she was getting.
> 
> I was doing a leg workout, so nothing in the world exists at that time but the bar and the squat rack for me.
> 
> My wife asked if I noticed the lady with half of her butt hanging out. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Another friend at the gym last night texted me and asked if I saw that as well. Again, I had no idea. When it is leg day, nothing exists but the bar, cage and PAIN!!



I was on my last set of squats last night (and almost near the end) and Kaia my dog decided she was going to sit right in front of me to get my attention. As soon as I finished she let me know it was dinner time for her. She is half husky so she has that husky howl (almost wolf sounding) to let me know what she wants and when she wants it (food, walk, stuff like that). I could not ignore her. All good, fed her and finished my other routines.


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## doubletrouble

bbdad said:


> I think it is so funny how some people just focus on their workout and nothing else. Apparently last night at the gym, there was some lady, likely in early 40's, in way too short of booty shorts. She was working out in the squat rack next to mine. She must have been attractive to get the attention I heard she was getting.
> 
> I was doing a leg workout, so nothing in the world exists at that time but the bar and the squat rack for me.
> 
> My wife asked if I noticed the lady with half of her butt hanging out. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Another friend at the gym last night texted me and asked if I saw that as well. Again, I had no idea. When it is leg day, nothing exists but the bar, cage and PAIN!!


I don't think my W would believe me if I said I didn't notice. I don't notice a lot, and much of that behavior is intentional. But she notices, and was with a guy for 10 years who noticed everything, and her 1st hubby noticed all blondes in particular (she's brunette), so she has trust issues there. But not only do I not notice, sometimes I'm offended by the way people dress for attention. How about using your personality instead?


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## DoF

doubletrouble said:


> But not only do I not notice, sometimes I'm offended by the way people dress for attention.


I agree, the way women dress these days is just "asking for wrong attention and trouble". There is VERY little left for imagination, I'm sorry.



doubletrouble said:


> How about using your personality instead?


Well, because people LOVE attention/be noticed.

This thread is my evidence!!!!

IMO attention isn't good. Especially if it's from wrong people. Also it gets to people's heads and some run with it.......it's not healthy.

If you are attracting people with your body, you are already setting yourself up for failure......


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## SteveK

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd be so shocked to get hit on at the gym.I'd probably laugh,turn red,trip and fall off the treadmill. It must be so awkward to hit on a woman while she's working out.
> Working out at home is awesome LOL


One thing I try to tell my friends who hit on woman at the gym.

MEN GET COMPLETELY TURNED ON BY WOMEN THAT ARE ATTRACTIVE FIT AND COVERED IN SWEAT, BUT THAT SAME WOMAN DOES NOT FEEL ATTRACTIVE WHEN SHES COVERED IN SWEAT SO LEAVER HER THE F-Alone!


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## SteveK

Fozzy said:


> Have to remember that EVERYONE in that gym is likely just as neurotic as you are. Even the hot ones.


My WAW just turned 53 , she's been training her entire life. She's won fitness competitions for years.

She gets hit on all the time by young, old in between but she knows it...after she walked ( we worked out together for 30 years!) she told me that all the woman at her new gym a jealous ( what a fuggin narcissist) 

Actually I thought if she ever walked it would be a young viral body builder or a yoga instructor or even another doctor or a lawyer.

But no she ran off with an overweighted older guy who can't even spell gym...explain that one to me .


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## DoF

SteveK said:


> My WAW just turned 53 , she's been training her entire life. She's won fitness competitions for years.
> 
> She gets hit on all the time by young, old in between but she knows it...after she walked ( we worked out together for 30 years!) she told me that all the woman at her new gym a jealous ( what a fuggin narcissist)
> 
> Actually I thought if she ever walked it would be a young viral body builder or a yoga instructor or even another doctor or a lawyer.
> 
> But no she ran off with an overweighted older guy who can't even spell gym...explain that one to me .


Sounds to me like you should be extremely happy that you are no longer with a woman like that!!!!

:scratchhead:


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## lovelygirl

SteveK said:


> One thing I try to tell my friends who hit on woman at the gym.
> 
> MEN GET COMPLETELY TURNED ON BY WOMEN THAT ARE ATTRACTIVE FIT AND COVERED IN SWEAT, BUT THAT SAME WOMAN DOES NOT FEEL ATTRACTIVE WHEN SHES COVERED IN SWEAT SO LEAVER HER THE F-Alone!


Totally untrue.
I feel sexier when I'm all sweaty...especially when I'm wearing my gym clothes and my body is in its best shape!


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## Created2Write

lovelygirl said:


> Totally untrue.
> I feel sexier when I'm all sweaty...especially when I'm wearing my gym clothes and my body is in its best shape!


Same here.


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## SteveK

lovelygirl said:


> Totally untrue.
> I feel sexier when I'm all sweaty...especially when I'm wearing my gym clothes and my body is in its best shape!


Well I learned something new, I was on,y going by what woman have told me.

I should join your gym


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## CuddleBug

lisad45 said:


> So I don't know exactly when I started to notice, or enjoy it, but I'd say for the last couple years, I've really enjoyed being noticed by other men. For whatever reason, probably age I'm guess, I notice when I get checked out. Especially at work, or at the gym. This is something I never really thought twice about, until recently. Any woman in the same boat?



It happens to me too, but by the ladies. I still get ladies as young as their early 20's flirting with me and I love it. Makes me feel young. I think the reason I still get young ladies hitting on me, is I don't look my age. I look more around 30 years old instead of being 40. But it is nice none the less. Now if I returned the flirting and pursued them, I know I could hook up. Still feels good and makes my day.


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## Wolf1974

SteveK said:


> Well I learned something new, I was on,y going by what woman have told me.
> 
> I should join your gym


Should see my lifetime fitness. They put on makeup just to workout and it's all about the best gym clothes and styles lol. So while some are into fitness for sure some have to make sure they don't sweat to ruin their makeup and clothes. It's hilarious but fun to watch. My GF took one look around and said no wonder you like coming to the gym so often.....ummm yep lol


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## doubletrouble

Wolf1974 said:


> Should see my lifetime fitness. They put on makeup just to workout and it's all about the best gym clothes and styles lol. So while some are into fitness for sure some have to make sure they don't sweat to ruin their makeup and clothes. It's hilarious but fun to watch. My GF took one look around and said no wonder you like coming to the gym so often.....ummm yep lol


My W would look around and say, "You're no longer going to this gym."


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## NewHubs

Last night I had another OMG experience at the gym. Some girl with beautiful blonde hair in a pony tail and crystal blue eyes comes lifts weights next to me. I just glanced over rather nonchalant to put my weights back but when I turned around she smiled at me. Wasn't expecting it nor looking for a smile from anyone but it surely made my night


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## lovelygirl

SteveK said:


> Well I learned something new, I was on,y going by what woman have told me.
> 
> I should join your gym


You're welcome, anytime!


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## Created2Write

My husband works out so hard while he's at the gym, he doesn't notice the chicks who follow him around. I love him so much.


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## doubletrouble

Created2Write said:


> My husband works out so hard while he's at the gym, he doesn't notice the chicks who follow him around. I love him so much.


But you notice them right? Give 'em the stink-eye? My W would.


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## Created2Write

doubletrouble said:


> But you notice them right? Give 'em the stink-eye? My W would.


No. I just get on the treadmill and outrun them.


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## struggle

Wolf1974 said:


> Should see my lifetime fitness. They put on makeup just to workout and it's all about the best gym clothes and styles lol. So while some are into fitness for sure some have to make sure they don't sweat to ruin their makeup and clothes. It's hilarious but fun to watch. My GF took one look around and said no wonder you like coming to the gym so often.....ummm yep lol


I go to a LT too. It's the busiest one in the state too, sooo many people. Mondays are the craziest.

I met a college-graduate age girl the other day that told me she doesn't wear any workout clothes except for Nike or LuluLemon. I was like "oh...excuse me"  I call her my Nike-LuluLemon girl. I've seen some women walking around with the brand new Nikes that go for over $200.

There are a lot of women that just walk around and do a couple machines and leave. My favorite so far one day was an older woman, who I admit looked pretty good for her age, with her hair down, literally made three or four rounds around the weights area within a half-hour period. No sweat whatsover and never saw her do anything. I was trying to figure out what the heck she was doing :scratchhead: lol. I guess she was enjoying all the looks she was getting. I never walk out of the gym looking very put-together


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## struggle

Just wanted to update that Mr. Smiles actually had the chance to talk with me for a minute. He was limping down the stairs today and I stopped and asked him if he was ok. He said he sprained his ankle last week and he was trying to be a "young guy" and hurt it again. I laughed, I told him I'm sure the Cafe has ice if he needs some...and maybe he should consider the doctor. He then told me doctors make the worst patients. Apparently he's a pediatrician. Huh.....I wasn't expecting that. I smiled and told him to get that ice. Yay, we actually spoke. Long distance smiles get weird after awhile haha.


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## doubletrouble

Mr. Smiles, ugh. That's what fWW called OM. I'm triggered out on this thread, sorry.


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