# Did Cosmetic Surgery help your Esteem?



## JenniferMarried36 (Jun 28, 2012)

This is a question for the Men and Women.

Did you ever have or know someone that had Cosmetic Surgery? If so were you happy with the results and did it improve your self esteem and Sex Life?

Men, if your wife or Significant Other had work done or if you knew someone that did, did she walk with more confidence and swagger?

I am contemplating the idea. I am thinking of the Mommy Makeover where they do a tummy tuck and breast implants at the same time. After the 2 kids I have the "Muffin Top" around the waist and I want larger breasts.

I know my husband would love it and I know it would increase my self esteem in turn would improve our sex life.

Don't rush to judge me as I am not looking for a lecture.

Just looking for opinions from those who had work done.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Getting bigger boobs is not going to make your cheating husband start being faithful.


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## Michelle C (Aug 15, 2012)

I'm only a a cup but I have been thinking about surgery to go D or DD. I tend to wear a padded bra when I go out and it's obvious that I get more attention when I wear it then when I don't. Men just seem to like bigger boobs


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Michelle C said:


> I'm only a a cup but I have been thinking about surgery to go D or DD. I tend to wear a padded bra when I go out and it's obvious that I get more attention when I wear it then when I don't. Men just seem to like bigger boobs


men are like snow flakes no two are the same. I like all sizes of boobs but most importantly I have to like the woman their attached to.

personally the best advice is to like what you got and if someone indicates that they would like bigger or dissatisfaction with what you got then you need a new partner. 

for me attitude is everything a sexy playful attitude will take you farther that nasty looking fake boobs.

at least for me! others might chime in with their own snow flake ideas.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I know a friend of mine sister had a eye life and she is so disappointed that she is depressed and seeking therapy. she looks like the deer in the head lights .


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Nope.If anything it made me more self conscious bc of the scarring.

luckily no one ever knows my breasts are fake.I forget they're fake too bc they look and feel natural...I didn't go freak show size

I didn't do it for self esteem though.I did it bc my ex pressured me into it.

If you are considering new breasts,stick with no bigger than a c-cup.

If you get a tummy tuck you will have a scar from hip to hip.it will NOT go away.You will also have a scar around your belly button.This also will NOT go away.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

It's extremely expensive and the risks are too great to have this done in my opinion. This type of surgery is not for me, but it is for others. I have a less then perfect body, I am very small up above. It took me years and a very loving husband to build up my self esteem and accept this. My current husband and exercise has greatly helped me build of my confidence. My first marriage I was always told I was fat, worthless, and no one would want me. I was actually underweight at that time and it was a very toxic marriage. I left.

I also have to eat a very healthy diet. I gain weight very easily. I've put on 100lbs 3 times while pregnant and I only lost a maximum of 16 from baby weight. The rest came off with dedication and hard work. I now deal with other issues and life has been far from easy. 

This is a very personal decision. I've known people who've had breast augmentation and it literally destroyed their marriage with 2 separate individuals. With the tummy tuck, you've still got to find a way to change your eating habits. It's a temporary fix. I personally believe you'll have much better results exercising. After you push yourself into an exercise routine, it becomes addicting to many many people. I use to be a runner until I broke my neck, but even though I can not walk more then a couple hundred feet at a time, I still can bike a few minutes a day. I only bike on my good days as I deal with severe chronic pain. Exercising makes you feel great and boosts your confidence and self esteem greatly. I do this myself and not for anyone else.

If you go ahead with the procedures, make sure you do extensive research and find the best surgeons. Get several opinions and make a list of questions, bring it with you to your apt and make sure you get as much detail and information as possible. Going under the knife is always very risky and you want the best. I can't tell you if this will help you feel better or build up your confidence. 

Good luck with whatever you decide.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I will get my neck fixed when I'm older. Both my mom and dad had the WORST necks. omg. My mom's neck....if she had it pulled back, she'd look SO MUCH BETTER!. I won't have it. It's the only part I hate about my body ...lol. So, I'll get it fixed when I'm in my 50s. That when it all seems to go to hell. (If I need it...whcih i'm thinking I will).


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife would love to get some Botox work done and a tummy tuck (two pregnancies left her with low self esteem about her shape, considering that she was under 100 pounds before that), but has been hesitant due to the cost. 

I love the way she looks and told her she doesn't need either, but I also gave her the green light to do either or both if she really wants to. She said that she would feel better about herself and that would enhance her sex drive, so it's a no-brainer for me. 

I'll work extra hours to get laid more any time.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

not to burst your wife's bubble but I seriously doubt it will enhance her sex drive.
a wrinkly,loose tummy is WAY sexier than one with a nasty hip to hip scar.
Plus there's the 4-8 weeks she'll need for recovery. She won't even be able to go to the bathroom without help for the first 2 weeks. Plus the breast to thigh compression garment she'll have to wear for about 6 months. 
The overwhelmingly high potential for numbness over her entire stomach isn't sexy either.

She doesn't feel sexy bc of her belly now...but she won't feel sexy afterward either bc she'll be hiding her scars and hating how she looks like someone tried to cut her in half every time she looks in the mirror. 

Speaking from personal experience as a person who got talked into going under the knife to fix stuff that didn't need to be fixed in the first darn place.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> I know a friend of mine sister had a eye life and she is so disappointed that she is depressed and seeking therapy. she looks like the deer in the head lights .


Reminds me of Kenny Rogers. He was such a good looking man and then he ruined his face:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

he looks so surprised


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

JenniferMarried36 said:


> This is a question for the Men and Women.
> 
> Did you ever have or know someone that had Cosmetic Surgery? If so were you happy with the results and did it improve your self esteem and Sex Life?
> 
> ...


I don't know what it will do for your sex drive, but it will improve your self esteem. I went from a B to a large C cup. LOVE IT!!!! It's been 10 years. I went over the muscle due to already having some (very little) breast tissue. My sister had no breast tissue and went under the muscle. There's a big difference in my breasts and hers. Mine are soft, look natural, and bounce when I walk. Hers are like melons and don't move at all. TMI, but I can reach my nipple with my tongue due to the flexibility and softness of my breast, and she cannot.

All that being said, if you do have breast tissue, go over the muscle with your implants and do NOT go DD. You may regret it. Go smaller so that they do look more natural; like a perfect C. 

On the tummy tuck............are you not a candidate for liposuction for your muffin top?


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## DocHoliday (Jan 19, 2012)

If you want it, can afford it, dont have stupid expectations and you have confidence in your doctor, why not?

I can't afford it, but I would do it if I had the right opportunities.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have never nor would I ever. That stuff scares me. It seems so unnatural. A lot of people go in looking one way and yet they all come out looking the same.

I did have a friend who had her boobs done. They look nice (but fake). Ever since, I have never seen her wear a top that didn't have her t!ts showing/sticking out. She is deeply insecure.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I will get my neck fixed when I'm older. Both my mom and dad had the WORST necks. omg. My mom's neck....if she had it pulled back, she'd look SO MUCH BETTER!. I won't have it. It's the only part I hate about my body ...lol. So, I'll get it fixed when I'm in my 50s. That when it all seems to go to hell. (If I need it...whcih i'm thinking I will).


Good luck. I'm disabled from my neck.. I'm very lucky I wasn't paralyzed from my initial onset of the injury. I'll have more future neck surgery myself. I still have 2 herniations and it sucks big time!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh, I was just talking plastic surgery. I am a bit vane...I am my mother's daughter. I just don't like the loose skin.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Oh, I was just talking plastic surgery. I am a bit vane...I am my mother's daughter. I just don't like the loose skin.


Oh my, I have that skin too! I noticed it when I turned 30!!!! I hate it! It makes me feel old!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My parents had the WORST...both of them. I'm on my way :rofl:

I did tell H that I would be getting it done if it's like my mom's. He agreed. I hate it. Seriously. If my mom got hers fixed, she'd look 10 years younger, at least!


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> not to burst your wife's bubble but I seriously doubt it will enhance her sex drive.
> a wrinkly,loose tummy is WAY sexier than one with a nasty hip to hip scar.
> Plus there's the 4-8 weeks she'll need for recovery. She won't even be able to go to the bathroom without help for the first 2 weeks. Plus the breast to thigh compression garment she'll have to wear for about 6 months.
> The overwhelmingly high potential for numbness over her entire stomach isn't sexy either.
> ...


Thank you. I really appreciate your perspective. My breasts are a little lower but no biggie. However the "wrinkly loose tummy" DOES bother me - my entire lower abdomen (below belly button) is covered w/ vertical stretch marks (mostly faded) and I have really wanted to get the mini tuck where they leave the muscle alone (that's fine) but cut out the extra skin/fat. It's mostly the droopiness I hate. 

Up until now I really just 'fake' confidence. I'll undress in front of my BF hopping into the shower very nonchalantly but inside I'm forcing myself to do it because everything I've ever read says confidence is sexy so I fake confidence. I just wish I didn't have to fake it but I like your opinion and honesty.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

There are several women on a fitness site I belong to who have had tummy tucks. They each lost more than 50 pounds. They did cardio and weight training, but the skin was too stretched out to snap back. They posted photos of themselves pre-surgery with the loose tummy skin and photos afterwards. Yes, there's a thin scar that runs across the stomach and the belly button doesn't look the same anymore, but their stomachs looked really good. One got a tattoo over the scar (after it healed) so you don't even see the scar anymore. One went to Thailand to get the procedure done. It was apparently more cost effective. 

If you've researched all the risks of being under general anesthesia, you have the money to afford it, and you're not doing this for someone else (this part I wonder given your marital issues), then why not do it? I wouldn't need a tummy tuck, but like That_Girl when I turn 50 (years away people!) I might take care of the loose skin that appears around the neck/jawline around that age.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

i'm not anti surgery...i realize my posts came off that way after reading them again.

I know if I look really bad when i'm older i'll want to visit the doctor to have some subtle improvements.

Truth is, i had an amazing doctor but wouldn't do the procedures again if i had the choice and wanted to give a different perspective on something that gets glossed over as being a quick fix and totally glamorous


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I had a tummy tuck last summer.

I also had follow-up lipo to my abdomen and entire back area (upper/lower).

Did it increase my self-esteem - you bet it did.

Do I have more confidence - you bet I do.

Do I carry myself more confidently and with swagger - yep!

Would I do it again - sure would.

Did it improve my sex life - NOPE. I've come to realize that my sex life had nothing to do with how I looked, there are much deeper issues that we're scratching the surface on (some of them health issues).

I have no issues with cosmetic surgery at all and if I feel I need to have something else done in the future - I'd do it in a heartbeat.

But I did have great results so that may sway my opinion some.

But if you really want it, go for it--it will boost your confidence and self-esteem, but don't do it for someone else expecting the "surgery" to change them--that's NOT going to happen.

Good luck, whatever decision you make.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> not to burst your wife's bubble but I seriously doubt it will enhance her sex drive.
> a wrinkly,loose tummy is WAY sexier than one with a nasty hip to hip scar.
> Plus there's the 4-8 weeks she'll need for recovery. She won't even be able to go to the bathroom without help for the first 2 weeks. Plus the breast to thigh compression garment she'll have to wear for about 6 months.
> The overwhelmingly high potential for numbness over her entire stomach isn't sexy either.
> ...


- My wrinkled skin hung down like a basketball when I bent over, believe me the hip-to-hip scar is MUCH BETTER than that 8lbs of skin was.
- I wore a compression garment for a year - didn't bother me.
- Yes, I had to have help for probably the first 4 weeks--no a problem either.
- Yes, my entire abdomen is still numb more than a year later, but so what, I don't remember why I needed to "feel" it prior to surgery anyway.

I also speak from personal experience for a tummy tuck and follow-up lipo to more than one area. No one talked me into it--this was something I wanted FOR ME. 

And I would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Each person needs to make the decision for themselves. While your post indicates you are not happy that you had surgery, I am more than happy that I did.

Sorry you don't feel the same way.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> - My wrinkled skin hung down like a basketball when I bent over, believe me the hip-to-hip scar is MUCH BETTER than that 8lbs of skin was.
> - I wore a compression garment for a year - didn't bother me.
> - Yes, I had to have help for probably the first 4 weeks--no a problem either.
> - Yes, my entire abdomen is still numb more than a year later, but so what, I don't remember why I needed to "feel" it prior to surgery anyway.
> ...


I'm happy you glad with your results. Good for you. Which is why I said it was based on personal experience...it's all i have to go on. We do agree it will not change a person's sex life. 

As I said in a follow up post, I'm not anti surgery and am just giving my .02 on the matter.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I am VERY happy with my surgery!  But you have to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> not to burst your wife's bubble but I seriously doubt it will enhance her sex drive.
> a wrinkly,loose tummy is WAY sexier than one with a nasty hip to hip scar.
> Plus there's the 4-8 weeks she'll need for recovery. She won't even be able to go to the bathroom without help for the first 2 weeks. Plus the breast to thigh compression garment she'll have to wear for about 6 months.
> The overwhelmingly high potential for numbness over her entire stomach isn't sexy either.
> ...


Also - I've never tried to hide my scar--no reason to. I'm not ashamed of it.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm happy you glad with your results. Good for you. Which is why I said it was based on personal experience...it's all i have to go on. We do agree it will not change a person's sex life.
> 
> As I said in a follow up post, I'm not anti surgery and am just giving my .02 on the matter.


I hear you.

Just giving my 2 cents too.

I did have a very positive experience, but I know not everyone does.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Also - I've never tried to hide my scar--no reason to. I'm not ashamed of it.



that's great for you..really awesome!

Unfortunately, not all women will be as confident as you were though and I feel it's important to see the best case scenario and well as the worst case scenario. Yours would be considered a best case scenario of course.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> that's great for you..really awesome!
> 
> Unfortunately, not all women will be as confident as you were though and I feel it's important to see the best case scenario and well as the worst case scenario. Yours would be considered a best case scenario of course.


You're right about that.

Some think it will FIX all, and don't realize that they way they look/feel about themselves may be just the tip of the iceberg.

Women (not all), tend to think that they way we "look" can be the cause/effect to all that is wrong with our world and that IS NOT always the case at all.

If your husband doesn't want to have sex with you or cheats, it may have absolutely NOTHING to do with how you look--a good example of that would be to look at people in the public eye. Bill Clinton, Tony Parker, Eddie Murphy, etc. All have/had pretty and even gorgeous wives and still cheated. 

It usually has to do with something more than what is on the surface. 

We agree essentially, just have different thoughts about how we feel about what we did post-surgery.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

I don't think all tummy tucks looks bad as in scaring. I think on the belly button it needs to be slightly veiled as on the one below vids, looks more natural, so pick your surgeon wisely.

Tummy tuck day 18 - YouTube


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

i think i had something like 6lbs of skin cut off me. i'm almost 4 years post op. if i was a braver gal I'd post a pic of my belly.lol 

in all fairness toward the pro tummy tuck crowd, we are our own worst enemies and I'm pretty sure I think my tummy looks worse than anyone else would but it still needs to be said that there are women out there who regret it.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

cloudwithleggs said:


> I don't think all tummy tucks looks bad as in scaring. I think on the belly button it needs to be slightly veiled as on the one below vids, looks more natural, so pick your surgeon wisely.
> 
> Tummy tuck day 18 - YouTube


My surgeon did a fantastic job on my new BB--it looks better than the old one.

I was lucky and had a great surgeon and I didn't even pay for mine - it was free - that made it even better.

The follow-up lipo was free too--I lucked out. 

Unfortunately I'll probably have to "pay" for the turkey neck though!!


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

While this is a bit of a non-sequitor, and might be obvious to all posters involved, you probably should have a permanent solution to birth control before thinking about big body modification surgery. 

I just wanted to throw that out there, as - I know at least one woman who had a boob job and then had a baby and wanted to breastfeed, and - that really didn't work.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> While this is a bit of a non-sequitor, and might be obvious to all posters involved, you probably should have a permanent solution to birth control before thinking about big body modification surgery.
> 
> I just wanted to throw that out there, as - I know at least one woman who had a boob job and then had a baby and wanted to breastfeed, and - that really didn't work.


Depends on the woman. I was *able* to breastfeed. But after 3 weeks, it wore me down. I felt like I was in a viscious cycle of:

1. Feed the baby
2. Feed me
3. Get rest
4 Rinse and repeat

I just couldn't find the time to nurish myself and get enough rest before it was time to feed her again. I ended up pumping some, and then gave it up. My nipples were so sore and my breasts were VERY sore and swollen. I switched to formula eventually and was very happy with that choice.


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