# I am not interested in sex anymore...I don't know what is wrong with me



## hoping4love (Jan 14, 2013)

Without going into too much detail about my current situation with my husband (if you really want to know, check out my blog: My Journey of Self Discovery), for whatever reason - I am completely lacking a sex drive.

It used to never be like this. I was all about sex when I was younger. I loved it - I still love it. I am just not interested in it. Thinking about it makes me feel gross. After the experience, I feel gross. I almost feel ashamed whenever I get horny. 

During, I love it - I enjoy it. But, before and after, not so much. This has greatly impacted my relationship with my husband. His confidence has fallen drastically - just to name one.

I just want to know how to get it back.


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## goodwife4 (Jan 7, 2013)

i have no answers as at the moment i would be happy to never have sex with my hubby again


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

hoping4love said:


> I just want to know how to get it back.


Are you seeing a therapist?


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Something is broken and the only way you gals will get it back is make a change. It worked for me after I was dumped by my cheating ex wife. I call ALL the shots in my life now and couldn't care less how others feel about my decisions.


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## hoping4love (Jan 14, 2013)

jaquen said:


> Are you seeing a therapist?


I am. I also got a self-help book the other day - haven't gotten it in the mail, yet.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You love sex when having it

you feel dirty and guilty before and after sex

you want sex but have no interest in sex anymore

when you were young, no problems, now older, total reversal.


Could be a latent experience you had that makes you feel dirty or guilty? Abused and don't remember?

Don't take this the wrong way. Have you gained a lot of weight since then? Insecure about your body image?

Kids?

Could just be hormonal changes due to us all getting older. Supplements would do the trick, they did for me.

Were you ever cheated on before?


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

You sound like my wife, unfortunately. I'm sorry for your struggle. I don't have answers, but pray you sort things out & get some answers. I can tell you that I believe my marriage is dying as a result of issues not addressed & her ambivalence to the problem. But if I knew my wife was working toward improvement because of her love for me & us, then I'd feel a ton better about our marriage.

I guess that is my advice to you. Don't give up. Don't tell your husband you may never desire sex with him again. Seek help. If you don't get an answer, seek more opinions. You can tell your husband, gently, what is going on, but also tell him that you won't quit trying because it is important to your marriage. He needs to know that.

All the best.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

hoping4love said:


> It used to never be like this. I was all about sex when I was younger. I loved it - I still love it. I am just not interested in it. Thinking about it makes me feel gross. After the experience, I feel gross. I almost feel ashamed whenever I get horny.
> 
> During, I love it - I enjoy it. But, before and after, not so much. This has greatly impacted my relationship with my husband. His confidence has fallen drastically - just to name one.
> 
> I just want to know how to get it back.


You just posted all the clues above. You feel ashamed to be horny, you feel gross after sex... You have negative thoughts about it. 

And you wonder why you don't "want" it anymore? 

First, relationship is the single most important thing to your sex drive. I read your blog. Your relationship is almost non-existent. So don't be surprised. 

However, you need to disconnect sexual drive from your bad relationship. In other words... do the 180. I suspect you are, by becoming no longer dependent upon him for your life and self worth. 

Get yourself a toy you like and reward your remaining drive by simply enjoying the physical pleasure. You'll get it back.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

What going to happen is your husband will be on another board saying how he is in a sexless marriage and people will be telling him you two are over,so I think what you can do is keep working on yourslef with your therapist reading books ect BUT give him HJs maybe BJs so he knows he is still special tell him you want to see him get himself off and lay next to him but you gotta keep making him feel good also while you are going through your stuff.


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