# Please HELP!!



## Just B (Nov 8, 2009)

Me and my husband have been together for 8 years and married for 6 (ive known him 16). Not long after getting married and having our 5 year old, I discovered he was looking at porn on the internet and of course he lied about it. He did that for several years. We evacuated for Hurricane Katrina and moved to another state. The next summer I was in a car accident, there were 3 deaths in my family between that November and January, and I had 2 benign breast masses removed. I was depressed, but when I told my husband he had an "ok" attitude with no real response. I felt alone. 

At this time both of us are attending school and working. I decided to take time off from school and continued helping him with school and reports he needed completed for work (i did them by myself and he got a promotion). He finished his associate's degree, but it wasn't long after that he told me he wanted to go into a different field, but decided not to because he didn't think we could (baby, bills, ec.). I told him that of course he could. I found the school for this field, completed his application, he was interviewed, and accepted. I had a 3rd breast mass removed, and we moved.

After we get there I found a job. His school was about 5 hours a day so, he was suppose to look for part time work. Instead, he looked for full-time jobs he knew he couldn't do because of the scheduling conflicts.The Friday before I started my job i went to the emergency room for a UTI (there was blood in my urine and my stomach blew up) and had to reschedule training......he didn't even off to drive me the ER. He finally started applying for jobs he could actually work and got one. 

He finished school earlier this year and has a good job with a good company. I went to the doc in June and they found a 4th breast mass (didn't have it removed). About 3 mos later, I got shingles (finally recovered-YAY). I am in the process of starting a business and he does not offer any help or seem interested at all. He's not interested in anything I want to do unless I come to him about it first. He says he loves me, but he's always MIA. He said I blame everything on him.....I feel like we're roommates. I handle all of the bills and he just goes with the flow. He never takes the initiative with anything. I don't know what to do. I don't think he's cheating on me, he's not violent or anything. He is very calm, almost emotionless sometimes.....like he doesn't care. I'm the only one who talks during our conversations. He just sits there and says "ok" to every thing. I dont know what to do.


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## defeated (Nov 5, 2009)

that sounds horrible! well my husband is a robot too. non responsive, emotionless and hurtful. but on top of that your husband wont do anything for himself. like someone told me- dont be his slave. let him do his own work. i think you both could use some therapy. you know, maybe you could also use some private counciling too. i really hope things start to change. i feel your pain! im so sorry


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