# Tired and thinking of giving up



## englishguy80 (Jul 25, 2010)

Hi,

I posted a few months ago about my wife messaging an old boyfriend, and it was suspected that she was having an EA.

Well this was never confirmed, but other than that her behaviour was strange like keeping her mobile with her wherever she went. Cut a long story short she was considering ending the relationship even though she never admitted to any form of EA.

Based on certain advise from forum members, I got myself together, got my confidence back and managed to get our marriage back on track. Things have been fantastic for 3 months, and I couldn't have been happier.

The experience made me change for the better which is evidentely what made her realise what an idiot she was being for even considering ending our marriage. Plus all of her friends telling her to stick with it, telling her how much of a wonderful guy I was and how lucky she is. (This was lovely to here I must admit on my part).

Well over the past 5 days things have been slipping in our relationship. I can tell by the way she is around me, usually she is very physical, very affectionate, we kiss frequently.

Well now when I go to kiss her, she points her cheek to me. There has been very little physical contact over the past 5 days. She is also back to being secretive with her phone, constantly texting etc.

Well I am now ready to just give up, I ask her if anything is wrong and she reassures me that everything is fine. I am constantly having to bite my tongue from telling her to either snap out of it / tell me whats going on, or I'm going to strongly consider ending our marriage.

I know this sounds harsh, but in all of the years I have been with her as wonderful as she is and can be there is also ALOT of crap I have to put up with. When we went through difficulties 3 months ago, I was the one that longed long and hard at myself and I was the one that made the effort to change.
I had the mentality that it was all my fault as to why we were having problems, not being there enough for her, not listening etc. 

About a month ago I had a conversation with a close female friend of both of hers. And she stated her admiration for me putting up with my wife, stating that she does give me a hard time.

If we are heading back to where we were a few months ago, then quite frankly I don't know if I can do this anymore. We have no kids, I do love her. But I also realise I have a lot to offer someone else, who will love me for the person that I am. 

I suppose I don't know what to do anymore, I have done everything I can or am prepared to do. She is the one that needs to start putting more effort into our marriage, and I think if I turn around and give her this ultimatum I think it will be over. 

Thanks


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

englishguy80 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I posted a few months ago about my wife messaging an old boyfriend, and it was suspected that she was having an EA.
> 
> ...


It only sounds harsh because you ARE biting your tongue, go find out what's goin on before you allow any of this to upset you and put you back in the mindset you were in before. 

Don't forget to listen when she talks 
Even if she is just having a bad week, we all forget to maintain our relationships like we should now and then and she may just tell you what you need to know to set things right.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Are you afraid of her response if you bring this up with her?


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