# absolutely torn up



## blue skies (Oct 10, 2011)

My husband and I have been married for 6 years now. We got married after ony knowing eachother for 3 months. He is from another country so it was now or never. I really wasnt a run off and get married kind of person. I was actually dead set against it. Something about doing it for immigration made it seem different, not so serious. Shortly after getting married I realized my new hubby had a gf and had not been honest about any of it as he was reluctant to call home and let everyone know. With all of that said we have done our best to make it work over the years. I have always been reluctant to start a family though based on all of that and a few separation/divorce scares. Shared custody does not really work overseas...
So we recently celebrated our 6 year anniversary and I want to separate. 
I do love him he is great to me. I really could not complain about the way he treats me. We never talk about anything because he just doesnt talk about his feelings. Our sex life has become increasingly non existent. Lately I just dont want to and several times I have cried afterwards... I know I shut myself off to him after the first couple times he threatened to leave and I never let myself be open to him since which makes sex tricky.
He says he loves me bc I make him a better person, but I dont feel that way towards him. I feel like he is un original, sometimes I can hardly be around him when we are with friends because I cannot stand who he is or is not. I feel as though the person I thought I married was a false especially after travelling to his home country and meeting all the terrible people that were his friends. They were all dreadful to me because I represented him screwing his ex over whom was friends with all his friends..blah blah They were judgemental, unwelcoming, and superficial.
I am not far from 30 and I am wondering if there is another life out there for me. I just told him things need to change and have been sleeping in the spare room for the past week or so.
I have been pretty cold to him for awhile now, and I just wish it were easier. We are not fighting, I just feel so torn...Part of me feels like if I walk away I will completely fail at this and the other part feels like I only get one chance...please help


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## RunningOnEmpty (Aug 29, 2010)

You don't have kids. You don't have a healthy sex live. You don't like him as a person.

Divorce him. Time is ticking.


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