# Does this mean I don't love my wife?



## tamii (Oct 14, 2012)

I'm relatively happy being with my wife (I think), but I was just thinking the other day that it wouldn't really faze me too much if she suddenly told me she wanted to leave me.

I was thinking I would probably actually welcome having a bit more space having spent the last 10 years living as a couple.

Does this mean I don't really love her?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

No, it just means you've been a couple for 10 years and things have gotten stale and same-y.

Try shaking things up a little. Why don't you try 'dating' your wife again. Do some unexpectedly nice things WITH HER (HELP her cook a meal, or fold the laundry or some other chore IF you don't already). Spend some time talking WITH HER while you fix a snack and some wine and then sit on the couch and spend some quality time talking/laughing with her tonight.

Life is what you make it! Bored? You're CHOOSING to be. Excited? Happy? Again, YOUR choices!

Good luck!


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## HockeyGuy28 (Oct 22, 2012)

tamii said:


> I'm relatively happy being with my wife (I think), but I was just thinking the other day that it wouldn't really faze me too much if she suddenly told me she wanted to leave me.
> 
> I was thinking I would probably actually welcome having a bit more space having spent the last 10 years living as a couple.
> 
> Does this mean I don't really love her?


Sometimes you don't realize what you really had until its gone. If you don't have problems in your marriage then I would say you still love your life, just seems like your relationship has sort of gone on auto pilot a little.

I agree with slowly, try and spice things up a little make it fun. If your life is in a routine (Work, home, dinner, tv, bed) try and mix it up. Go on some day trips, plan some mini vacations or weekend getaways, spice up the sex life a little...


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

HockeyGuy28 said:


> Sometimes you don't realize what you really had until its gone. If you don't have problems in your marriage then I would say you still love your life, just seems like your relationship has sort of gone on auto pilot a little.
> 
> I agree with slowly, try and spice things up a little make it fun. If your life is in a routine (Work, home, dinner, tv, bed) try and mix it up. Go on some day trips, plan some mini vacations or weekend getaways, spice up the sex life a little...


100% agree!








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## Complexities (Oct 25, 2012)

Definately do the above suggestions and then if they dont work in a few months re-think the question...but try not to think of it until a certain date


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

Agreed. Don't feel bad you are thinking that way. But give it a real shot to change, and maybe after a little while tell her about it, find out if she is feeling the same way. In my scenario my wife felt this way and didn't tell me till 8 months later when she asked for divorce, and it was too late at that point to make any change she would accept (and she had already settled on a new man). Do the right thing, work on yourself, work on the relationship, be open to the problems, be ready for some fights, and yes, possibly be ready for the marriage to end. 

I also would suggest that you find close family and friends to talk to it about too.. someone you can be comfortable being frank and talking about the issues. Maybe a therapist or counselor. But sometimes you can overthink something and need another perspective.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

No, you're just not really able to fully contemplate the situation until it happens.


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