# Self-Blame and Self-Esteem Issues



## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

Here is the story....my fiance and I are in a tough financial situation right now. He lost his job in July and we pretty much had to pack up and move back in with his family. He has a part time job. However, they are not giving him enough hours to cover all of the bills (i.e. car payment). I have been having a hard time finding a job. I have had three interviews this month and none of them hired me. My mom gave me some money to buy some clothes today because it pissed her off to some unknown degree that I found a dress at Goodwill. He has been really worried about money here lately and I feel guilty about going out and buying clothes because that money could have been used to help him out. I feel like I am failing him as a fiance. I try telling him about this and he gets angry and starts telling me that he doesn't want to talk to me about his problems because I seem to find a way to blame myself for all of my problems and cry about it. Then I snap at him because I feel like he is criticizing me, but he really isn't. So, what can I do about this. I need help with my self esteem and I really need to stop blaming myself. Thanks in advance!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

First off guilt is highly overrated.

Secondly don't get married until the two of you can learn to discuss problems without anger. Marriage is supposed to be a team effort and at the moment you two are taking stress out on each other. You will never make it long term by doing this.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

People who dont' stick up for themselves early on in a relationship eventually turn into doormats. You do not want that for yourself, trust me. You cannot fix what is broken in others. You can only fix yourself and that is if you want to. Other people only make you feel as bad as you let them. Great line eh? Makes sense doesn't it? Now I wish I could follow it. It is hard to do. After all, we are only human.


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