# The progression from friendship to EA



## Jen2013 (Jan 20, 2013)

Hi, TAM friends! I have been lurking here for 5 or 6 months after discovering my husband on the slippery slope towards an EA. Maybe I will post my story here at some point.

I have been looking for something I saw several times in posts, but haven’t seen in a while.

It was a timeline of sorts – how one goes from being “just friends” to full-fledged affair, starting out talking about how great your life is, how wonderful your spouse is, and then, well, THIS bothers me about my spouse, I’m really not THAT happy, YOU aren’t like that, I’m so much more comfortable with you, etc.

Can someone direct me to that? I have been searching and searching and haven’t come back across it, and I would really like to see it again.

Thank you so much! This forum has helped me tremendously these last few months.


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## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

Jen2013 said:


> Hi, TAM friends! I have been lurking here for 5 or 6 months after discovering my husband on the slippery slope towards an EA. Maybe I will post my story here at some point.
> 
> I have been looking for something I saw several times in posts, but haven’t seen in a while.
> 
> ...


Hi Jen. I think what you're looking for is here. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html 


Originally Posted by F-102 
Thanks for referencing my thread. I originally wrote it in response to one poster whose W had reconnected to an ex-BF on Facebook, and it outlined how it can go from "Hey, how's it going?" to "I hate my H's guts and I'm leaving him for you!"

Here's the unabridged version:

Right now, the texts/conversations may very well be just two old friends catching up but soon, if left unchecked, may very well morph into:

*Their lives since they parted
Their relationships since they parted 
Their families
Their spouses
You
How you're an excellent father
How you're a great husband
How you're a wonderful guy
Your job
How your job keeps you busy
How your job keeps you away
How she sometimes feels a little lonely when you're away
How she sometimes feels a little overburdened at home
How she sometimes feels a little taken for granted
How she feels that you don't ALWAYS listen to her
How she feels that you don't ALWAYS understand her
How she feels that sometimes you're just "not there" for her
How, okay... you're not ALWAYS such a wonderful guy
How she loved hearing from him again
How she looks forward to his texts/calls/e-mails now
How she feels young again
How she feels appreciated again
How she feels attractive again
How it's so nice to have someone who just LISTENS to her again
How it's been so, so long since you made her feel that way
How her eyes have now been opened
How she now realizes what she truly wants and needs
How she now realizes that you could NEVER give her that
How insensitive you can be some times
How you can be a real jerk sometimes
How she wonders if they would have stayed together
How she now realizes that she never really loved you
How she now realizes that she really loved him all along
How she ever could have fallen for a jerk like you
How you're the biggest a++hole she's ever known
How you're standing in the way of her true happiness
How you ruined her life
How she made a big mistake marrying you
How she made an even bigger mistake letting him go
How now she sees that they were really meant to be together
How she desperately has to get away from you
How she's definitely going to leave you
How she's talking to divorce lawyers
How they're going to live happily ever after...*...get the picture?


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## Jen2013 (Jan 20, 2013)

Yes! This is it! Thank you SOOO much!


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## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

You're welcome, Jen.

F-102 posts it regularly for people who need it. Sorry you need to read it . . . . .


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Jen2013 said:


> Hi, TAM friends! I have been lurking here for 5 or 6 months after discovering my husband on the slippery slope towards an EA. Maybe I will post my story here at some point.
> 
> I have been looking for something I saw several times in posts, but haven’t seen in a while.
> 
> ...


You might also find the following helpful (even though it's written from the male perspective):

What It Means When She Tells You She Kissed Another Man | Married Man Sex Life


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