# The awkwardness



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Anyone else here fine the post divorce awkward as far as events and bumping into people in public? My daughter is in high school, is a cheer leader, and has a lot of events. 

I'm a strong guy emotionally, but I just hate the awkward feeling i have when attending something. there's mom over there, I'm over here, and then there's everyone else.

I live in a small town where everyone knows everybody, and it's just awkward. I would ask how others deal with this, but I'm sure there is no magic pill. Anyone else feel this way?


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

I'm sure it's a universal feeling. 

But here's something enlightening:

People don't think about you as much as you think they do

Also, divorce is very common these days. That feeling of awkwardness will eventually fade.

For me, I had serious awkward feelings when my Ex started bringing her posOM around my kids' games/events. 

What helped me, one day, is when one of the other married women came up to me, and said "Threestrikes, she really downgraded".

:smthumbup:


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ThreeStrikes said:


> I'm sure it's a universal feeling.
> 
> But here's something enlightening:
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply. I'm sure you're correct that people don't think about you as much as one thinks. I always have this feeling that they may, however, when in their presence, such as events, or bumping into them in a store. 

As I said, I live in a small town where all the x's family still live, and all her wonderful friends who supported her idea of divorce.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

There was some awkwardness first when people would ask but I found ways to make it funny (for me) in how I'd respond.

With time, it won't be as weird/strange/awkward. 

You mentioned living in a small town - do you have any plans to move?


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

The other weekend, I was out on a date... we were taking a walk down on the bike trail by the river... and ran into D13's best friend's parents... while we were holding hands...

:smthumbup:

Yeah... That was just a little awkward.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

before I found my new job I would constantly have the ex's drug buddies coming into my store making conversation with me while they waited for their food. And a few of his bed buddies, And even the occasional person who didnt know we had split asking about how we were doing.

if thats not awkward enough, try having your ex contacting your little brother to sell him drugs, or partying with him via mutual friends when there is 12yrs difference in age.

One night the ex brought in a buddy of his to have me look at a $100 bill they had just gotten from a drug sale to tell them if it was legit or not.

lol.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> You mentioned living in a small town - do you have any plans to move?


No plans to move. It's my hometown. My kids and family are here, and my day job and farm. I guess I'll just live with it.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Yes....it's funny. I was divorced and went on a date with a man. We were at a restaurant and I bumped into one my daughters friend mothers....I felt like I needed to explain that I wasn't cheating on my ex. Many people didn't know we had gotten divorced.

I kept thinking they must think I am cheating!


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## GinnyTonia (Jul 31, 2012)

We're awkward in a way. He owns a new store here in town and is there all the time. I take the kids up there to see him and we get introduced. "This is Boy and Girl, my children. And this is Ginny..." Followed by expectant looks and fading smiles. I just keep smiling because I don't know what to say either. It's kinda funny.


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## nosmallchoice (Mar 25, 2013)

I have big awkward, elephant in the room kind of thing, about once a month when I take our son to see his parents and family. Especially knowing that the X has accused me of all kinds of 'sinful' things to his father, a pastor, and his father is now against me.... yet, smiles to my face in a fake sort of way. :smthumbup:


I wish I could be a fly on the wall, though... Come time for him to re-join the extended family for a reunion (the extended family completely supports me) with the OW on his arm and all the excuses as to why he can't be a dad.:slap:


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I just blast through the awkwardness 'no I'm divorced' 'oh I'm sorry' 'don't be' etc.


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## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

I know it feels awkward, but really, no one really thinks about it.


My DD tried out for cheer this year in middle school; one girl sprained an ankle during her tryout. Tryouts are watched by all parents (we had to sign in) of the girls who are trying out. 

She sat down there crying on the mat because of the sprain and they got her parents to come down from the stands - dad from one side of the bleachers, mom from another. No one said ANYTHING about it. 

Really, don't worry about it. This is just life in America now. The non-nuclear family is the new normal.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

It probably depends on how batsh*t insane your ex is.

In my case, people are like, "What the heck happened to <ex>??" So there's absolutely no awkwardness at all.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

I love being seen in public with my GF. I plan on bringing her to the D and sticking my tongue down her throat when the gavel comes down.

I did not want this but I am going to enjoy the rest of my life.

Start asking the single mothers at the game on dates and then see who is feeling "awkward"

Let's get our damn dignity back,
Stretch


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Stretch - as the girlfriend, that would be really weird. Tongue kissing in public is weird enough - late night at a bar, maybe but in the courthouse? uh, no.

How about a congratulatory hug and kiss because otherwise you look desperate and childish to feel the need to do this. 

And most times there really isn't a gavel. They just sign it and hand it to their assistant to file. Pretty anticlimactic.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Stretch said:


> I love being seen in public with my GF. I plan on bringing her to the D and sticking my tongue down her throat when the gavel comes down.


...



Stretch said:


> Let's get our damn dignity back,


:rofl:

:smthumbup:


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I was going to say the same thing as Stretch, why would you be uncomfortable with old acquaintances when they see you with someone new (and yes I do get it, have felt that way a few times when out on an obvious date bumping into people I know)... Proudly present your GF as your new love that you have chosen to be close to you and let it be known that she is fantastic - it may not mean she has to deep throat your tongue in public, but let your feelings for her when you are around her show, that is the point of divorce really, so you can live life with someone that you love being around!


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