# my husband is in iraq and doesnt trust me



## Farmer07 (Jun 21, 2008)

my husband has recently deployed to iraq... before he left, and early into our marriage i did some thing that lost his trust... i had a facebook taht he didnt know about, i didnt do anything wrong, just talk to old friend i had in highschool.. but i didnt tell him about it, because i knew that he wouldnt like it... sine then i have lied to him, about things that arent really a big deal top me but obviously are to him... 

and since he has been in iraq, i had lied to him once... but it was about somethign taht he told me specifically NOT TO DO... 

i know that lying to him, makes him not want to trust me ever again, but ineed some advice, on how to regain his trust... i havent lied to him snce he found out about this last thing i did... but how do i get him to believe that... i tel him over and over again, and he doesnt believe me, and he tells me all the time that he wants a divorce.. how dio i get him to trust me, or what can i say to him, so that he rally knows that i am not lying anymore... what do i say to him to get him to unerstand taht i really am not lying, and i am honest, and i am trying so hard to make our marriage ggod again...


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## izz4u2mm (May 26, 2008)

If your husband is in Iraq...he does not I repeat he does not need any other type of stress!!!!.Believe me!! If you donot love him then divorce him becuase he is in a war zone and does not deserve any negativity in his life right now. He needs all the love and care he can get from all his family and friends. If he becomes ill with some kind of anxiety sickness from being there...he is going to take a wild and crazy roller coaster ride in his mind over you. Take it from me I almost killed my self with my gun a few times over mistrust and thoughts of my wife cheating on me. I am a Viet Nam Vet and I know what I am talking about.
Cherish him if you do love him other wize leave him alone.
Manny


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Farmer07 said:


> i didnt do anything wrong, just talk to old friend i had in highschool.. but i didnt tell him about it, because i knew that he wouldnt like it... sine then i have lied to him, about things that arent really a big deal top me but obviously are to him...
> 
> and since he has been in iraq, i had lied to him once... but it was about somethign taht he told me specifically NOT TO DO...


If your goal is to be honest with him going forward and regain his trust, what might help you most is to look at what you stated above 'i didn't do anything wrong' 'I have lied to him about things that aren't really a big deal'. 

It doesn't seem that in your eyes, there is anything wrong with the things you lied about but obviously your husband thinks otherwise. At this point, I don't think it's an issue that he has a problem with facebook and you don't, it's that he now knows that if you want to do something you know he won't be comfortable with, you will just do it and lie about it.

You need to show him true remorse for how you have hurt him and betrayed his trust by lying to him. You need to talk openly about things you don't agree on (having a facebook) and learn to respect one another when you have concerns. He needs to know you respect his feelings.


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