# Boyfriend too feminine?



## xxx (Sep 6, 2015)

So, my boyfriend of a few years now has always had feminine tendencies, but honestly I have been noticing it more than ever now. Let me give a few examples. 
1 .He used to be obsessed with a male singer, and I mean obsessed as in he wanted to do everything to be like him, had merchandise of him, and went to concerts listened to his music etc. (I rather not say the singer's name, but I'm sure most people know him . Guess if you would like. He's young and has mostly a teenage girl following). 
2. He is very sensitive. Hear me out, I know guys could be sensitive, and there's nothing wrong with that.. But he is even more sensitive than any woman I have ever met. 
3. He is obsessed with bunnies. Yes, Bunnies. He LOVES them. He has one that has lived with him for a few years, (I rather not say her name, kinda embarrassing. But honestly it sounds like something a 9 year old girl would name a pet.) And he buys "dresses" for it, and even lets it sleep in his bed. It does not have a cage, he just lets the thing walk around freely and gets mad at anyone who doesn't treat it like a "princess". And he always tells me about his dream of owning a BUNNY FARM. Not joking. 
4. He loves cleaning, even though he is lazy. He also loves picking out outfits, one night a few years ago he even picked out an outfit for each day of the month. And yes, he must make sure they all match. 
5. He gets along mostly with women. I do not get jealous because I do see the way he interacts, its very obvious he seems more like a "gay best friend" to them. 
6. A long time ago, he was VERY very drunk and began talking about how sexy and hot some male celebrities are.. in front of all of our friends.

If any of you have any questions or want more examples, I could gladly give them to you.. 

And now I'm going to put a few things out there, in his defense.

1. When he was a teenager he as a major player, I knew him then and was fully aware of it. (Obviously we weren't together) 
2. He was also a huge sports player. He played on a few sports teams at his school.
3. He doesn't like his son acting feminine (ironic, huh??) and yes, he has a son. Not mine, it kinda goes along with #1 up there ^^

I want to put out there that he has major father issues, and obviously, was raised by his mother alone, and I do think that might have something to do with his feminine ways. I honestly do not think he is gay, but I do think transgender MIGHT be a possibility.. Any advice, tips, or anything like that? I could not talk to him about it, he is very sensitive like I said earlier on, especially about anything personal like this which he may take the wrong way. Your opinions would be very helpful . (Im so sorry for posting this on a marriage site, but to be fair we are in a very serious relationship.)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are the two of you? 
How long have you dated him?

I'm assuming that all this bothers you since you are here writing about it. So, in light of that, I don't think you should be dating him. Why? Because this is going to bother you more and more as time goes one.


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## xxx (Sep 6, 2015)

We are both in our early twenties, we have known each other for a few years, we started dating around 6 years ago, then split up for a few years and now we have been together again for a few months. It honestly does bother me, and I agree it might bother me more in the future but I honestly could not imagine leaving him for this. But I honestly don't know


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You think that he's very feminine.

You also seem to think that he's actually gay. Or bi with a very strong leaning towards men that he's hiding most of the time.

How is your sex life with him?


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Strap one on and see if he likes it... If he hasn't asked already.


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## xxx (Sep 6, 2015)

I just think it may be a possibility due to the circumstances, but other things also make sense with him being straight, so I really don't know what to think. He used to be very sexual and always wanting sex 24/7 near the beginning of our relationship, but now I'm always the one who has to start it. But according to his doctor that is one of the side effects from pills he has been taking.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

I think you might find some surprises down the road. How would you feel about catching him watching gay porn? Or flirting with other guys? Or more...?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

He has a bunny and he becomes feminine? Wah?

I have a cat who I cuddle like a baby... does that mean I'm also feminine? =O


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> He has a bunny and he becomes feminine? Wah?
> 
> I have a cat who I cuddle like a baby... does that mean I'm also feminine? =O


RD, do you fantasise of male celebrities when your no longer inhibited?


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## xxx (Sep 6, 2015)

I actually have caught him watching porn in the past, but it was not gay porn. Flirting wise, the only time I've seen him act in that matter was that one time he was drunk, but honestly I don't hang out with him and his friends enough to know how they act by themselves when drunk. And, I really hope you read the whole thing, I don't have a problem with him having a bunny, it's just the way he acts towards it.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Personal said:


> If you find your boyfriend behaving in a manner that you don't like, please feel free to drop him as a boyfriend.


:iagree:
Isn't that kind of the whole point of dating?


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

not sure.

But now I want a bunny.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> He has a bunny and he becomes feminine? Wah?
> 
> I have a cat who I cuddle like a baby... does that mean I'm also feminine? =O


Do you buy dresses for it, treat it like a princess and it let it run around without a cage?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I am a very conservative person, so that is the perspective I am coming from.
There is way too much emphasis on what is masculine or feminine. I know men who have had people ask them if they are gay, because they don't fit into other's preconceived notion of how men and women should act. Men used to wear lace frills and they were considered manly. What we think is masculine or feminine is mostly cultural.

Further, trying to find that out by asking a group of people who have never met him is not going to produce an answer for you.

Ask him if he is sexually attracted to men. If he is, then you know he is a homosexual. If he isn't, then he's not a homosexual.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)




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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> Do you buy dresses for it, treat it like a princess and it let it run around without a cage?


I know a lot of people who have, or have had, bunnies as pets. They are allowed to run around the house. That's not unusual at all. What would be the point of having a pet rabbit and then keep it locked up all the time? That's what's called cruelty.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

My daughters had bunnies growing up, they use a litter box just like a cat. The bunnies I mean.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

My best friend in college was;

a) A major player. Slept with a lot of girls
b) Big on sports. Big tall, strong, naturally and quite bullish, certainly not one to be pushed around.
c) Would always say he didn't like "poofers" or "gays". Always told me to stop being such a girl.
d) Didn't have a good relationship with his dad.
e) Would always hang with the girls.

Sound familiar?

Guess what. He is now the most stark raving homosexual man I know. 

Just sayin.


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## Joe75 (Oct 12, 2013)

Hi xxx

Noting your boyfriend’s behaviour tendencies and your reaction, I believe the relationship issue is not whether his behaviour bothers you; but, rather one of a more serious matter – respect in a relationship.

It is commonly accepted that respect must be earned. This must certainly true outside of a marriage. But this is not the case for most men in a committed relationship. From my viewpoint as a man, when my wife accepted my marriage proposal, in addition to agreeing “to love and to cherish” me, it was a given that she would respect me for who I am – not what I do. Regardless of my accomplishments, and in those times when I faltered, her respect for who I am as an individual would remain unwavering.

It is often said how perceptive a woman’s intuition is. It is the same for a man’s awareness in regards to respect from others. Without a word being said, we can sense when it first starts to ebb away and when it is gone. For a man, a life without respect is an unhappy existence – particularly hard if it is the respect of his significant other that is lost. 

If you are losing respect for your boyfriend, he will know. The resulting damage to a relationship, simply said, is not a good thing.

Xxx, to what extent his behaviour tendencies bothers you is not the underling question that needs to be addressed. The fundamental-to-your relationship question you need to ask yourself is; have you lost/are you losing respect for your boyfriend for who he is? If yes, then it is perhaps best that this relationship ends.

Respectively

Joe75


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Joe75 said:


> Hi xxx
> 
> Noting your boyfriend’s behaviour tendencies and your reaction, I believe the relationship issue is not whether his behaviour bothers you; but, rather one of a more serious matter – respect in a relationship.
> 
> ...


I agree. One of the fundamentals of a successful relationship is when you respect and admire your guy. Doesn't sound like you do OP. And that's not a bad thing you probably just need more of a guys guy to hold your attention. I mean thank god not all women want the same thing in a guy. If all women wanted a guy like yours I would be completely out of luck.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

So my question to you is @xxx... how many year do you want to waste with this guy before he runs off with Lance, Bruce or Justin?

He's in the closet and is either openly lying to you or in serious denial. Which is not relevant, eventually he will "embrace" his identity.

Like @poida, I also had a player roommate always with a hot girl, very well dressed, and was tone and athletic. He had an "epiphany" too.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> I agree. One of the fundamentals of a successful relationship is when you respect and admire your guy. Doesn't sound like you do OP. And that's not a bad thing you probably just need more of a guys guy to hold your attention. I mean thank god not all women want the same thing in a guy. If all women wanted a guy like yours I would be completely out of luck.


Wow, that really hits home for me. I don't want to threadjack, but it's definitely something I'm missing in my relationship. heh...


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Don't mean to threadjack either.
But...
Divorced Male 33.
Hates cats and rabbits.
Listens to Punk, Metal, and Rock.
Likes football, darts, craft beers, and girls that like guys like me.

Chicks with XXX in their name go to the front of the line.


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