# NO FAIR



## SALLYMAE (9 mo ago)

Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means ***** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Leave the piece of crap. NOW!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Leave the piece of crap. NOW!


No more answers are needed. This says it all.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

moncayoruben369 said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


So you choose to stay in this marriage, _you give other men blow jobs_ and you think it's not fair that your husband called you a *****???? 

I have no words.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

moncayoruben369 said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


No. There is no world in which infidelity makes things “fair.” You’re not being driven to cheat, you’re being driven to leave. You’re cheating because you want to. If you’re unhappy, leave.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

moncayoruben369 said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


Well giving a BJ is sex regardless of what Clinton tried to claim.

So why don't you leave?


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

moncayoruben369 said:


> whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around.


Is OP saying her HUSBAND gets fellatio?

It sounds like when OP is describing her husband, she adds "dabble outside the marriage" in the list about her husband.

Or is she saying that SHE gives fellatio to other men?

I'm confused.

ETA: Please ignore what I wrote above! Just reread the OP and noticed the below which I think clears it up!


moncayoruben369 said:


> ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish.


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## Jimmysgirl (9 mo ago)

Cheating is a choice and there's no way to justify it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Cheating is always wrong no matter what. Plus what sort of man messes around with a married woman? Is he married or in a relationship?

You staying in a loveless marriage seems odd. Why not just separate and end it?

Btw oral sex IS sex.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

so_sweet said:


> Is OP saying her HUSBAND gets fellatio?
> 
> It sounds like when OP is describing her husband, she adds "dabble outside the marriage" in the list about her husband.
> 
> ...


She blows other men and "messes around" with them.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

No it's not right to dabble outside the marriage. If you are that miserable divorce; don't cheat. Him being awful is why you need to leave him. It does not justify cheating.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> She blows other men and "messes around" with them.


Thanks for clarifying that for me!


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

moncayoruben369 said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage.


No. If that person is neglected, then get a divorce.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> Is OP saying her HUSBAND gets fellatio?
> 
> It sounds like when OP is describing her husband, she adds "dabble outside the marriage" in the list about her husband.
> 
> ...


Not really all that confusing considering her other 2 threads she started...one about being vaporized and another about recycling her husband. Not quite all there.

I'm thinking her husband's side of the story might just tell us the real story.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

If you're not happy in the marriage and your H isn't meeting your needs then just leave. What you do NOT do is cheat. That's what cowards do!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> Is OP saying her HUSBAND gets fellatio?
> 
> It sounds like when OP is describing her husband, she adds "dabble outside the marriage" in the list about her husband.
> 
> ...


I read it that her husband isnt intimate with her so she was having “sex” outside, just giving BJs n “messing around” to other man/men. She confessed to hubby and he calling her names.

She justifying cheating, but like a certain POTUS she doesnt think oral is really sex.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Wonder how often husband got woke up with a bj in attempt at you trying to reignite the passion before started blowing others. 
i don’t know any husband who would say no to that kind of teasing.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

OP did recant and is going to try to behave differently.

I figured she might be too shy to share so I didn't want ongoing, unnecessary, 2x4's to keep being swung.🙂


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

SALLYMAE said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


OP the no sex only fellatio... Are you saying that's what you and hubby do.. Or that's what you want to dabble with?


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> OP did recant and is going to try to behave differently.


She did? Where?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

SALLYMAE said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


Why would you stay with him? Is it your religion? You have a mutually abusive marriage and you should get out of it, in my opinion.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

drencrom said:


> She did? Where?


PM.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> PM.


Well, I'll have to take your word for it. But even in a PM you have to consider what she has posted so far. It's nuts.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Fair or not it's not going to solve your problem.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

SALLYMAE said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


He's not wrong about what he called you. I would have some other choice words for you too. He may be a terrible husband, but cheating is never the answer.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Why did he stop having sex/kissing/cuddling you?

Did he stop before or after you were hooking up with other men?

Why hasn’t he divorced you if he doesn’t want to be with you?

Why haven’t you broken up with him?

Why did you tell him you were getting with other dudes?

Did you think that he would not have some choice words for you when he found out?

There are a lot of unanswered questions here.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Why would you stay with him? Is it your religion?


IDK, so honest question, which religions require you to stay married to an adulterer? 

Mine doesn't.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Why is this poster using two usernames?


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Blondilocks said:


> Why is this poster using two usernames?


Good question. I don't know, could she have changed her username?


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

SALLYMAE said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


What did you do?


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Zombie thread. Time to kill it.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

SALLYMAE said:


> Hello. Quick question... Is it fair that a spouse in a 20 yr marriage, whose husband does not screw, kiss, or cuddle, AT ALL, dabble outside the marriage. No sex, just fellatio and messing around. Ive begged and begged the husband for years, but i feel that its so lonely living in a marriage, with no love or affection or hope. And constant insults and damage beyond belief to my self esteem. ive told him what i did and he calls me a puta. which means *** in spanish. and i want to get some opinions on the matter. Thanks


No, it’s not fair. If you want to dabble outside the marriage, you divorce the frigid man and find another. Fidelity was part of the deal. You don’t get to keep the good parts and lose the bad. 
You should have left the guy a long time ago. You’re still there. Keep your dignity and honor and divorce him and find another who is actually into sharing normal marriage activities.


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