# Old friends...and Jealousy....



## freeshias4me (Dec 4, 2007)

My husband and I have been married now for about a year and a half, but have known each other much longer.
He's a jealous type, and doesn't like the idea of me staying in contact with a male friend I have. I've known him for about 4 years, and not attempted anything indecent with me, and we only talk through emails once every blue moon.
(Like "Happy Thanksgiving...How's your daughter doing?" that type of thing)
My husband hasn't asked lately if we still are in communication... But what should I do? Tell my good friend to buzz off just because my husband is jealous? I'd like to be able to keep talking to him once in a while, as I do not have many friends.


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## greenbaglady (Dec 11, 2007)

It's tricky because you want to be honest and keep the communication open with your husband--so it doesnt look like "sneaking around" when you talk to your friend, but you dont want your SO to get mad at the same time.
Could it be possible your husband, you and this guy friend of yours all go out on a date for dinner or a drink, something casual and low pressure--your guy friend can bring his SO or girlfriend with or even his daughter? Then your husband would get a feel for how the guy is and how yours and your friends intention in staying in touch is totally innocent. 
Or you could prove it, let your husband see in an email that your correspondence is friendly. 
He shouldn't try and tell you who you can and cant be friends with.
Put the situation in his shoes--he has a good friend (a guy even) say 'how would you feel if i told you you couldn't talk to john anymore' ...it's the same scenario.
I hope that doesn't sound elementary--I'm no therapist but if i were in your shoes these are things that I would do to prove my case


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## ammulu (Dec 27, 2007)

Well I did face such a situation but the only difference was that the one whom I thought to be my friend was in fact loving me, he was so normal but he spoke about it to other friends of mine. However, my husband is one among them who came to know about this. When my husband proposed me and I accepted and we went ahead to marry but that minute he came to know about this, since then he doesn't like me to talk to him. I didn't know why he insisted that I shouldn't talk to him, though he is married and I am expecting a baby, well when I came to know about this I myself reduced the amount of talk. 
This isn't the case with you, so be sure to speak to your husband clearly and make sure you talk to the person in his presence so that he would be able to listen to your conversation. This should be helpful but at times he might even feel ignored. Try to talk to him that should be the only way to clear up things.


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## freeshias4me (Dec 4, 2007)

Thanks guys...That's what I thought...


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## berlinlife06 (Dec 26, 2007)

Dealing with jealousy is not an easy thing! I know because I´ve been the jealous one on my relationship. But if you are being honest, then you can show your emails to your hubby and he would confirm that is just innocent communication, nothing to worry about.


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