# **RANT** Really, you think I'm that stupid?!?!



## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

The "you" in this title is my possibly-STBX.

A couple days ago, we get home from work/school and he jumps on the computer. I see him looking at a video game.

Me: Oh, is that the new Pokemon game? Cool.
H: Yeah, it is, I was gonna get it for [girl in one of his classes].

RED ALERT RED ALERT. What? My husband won't even buy his PARENTS gifts. The fact I get gifts is much-maligned. We have had multiple long conversations about gift-giving and whether or not it's important.

Me: ...ok...why the game though? Why not like a gift card or something?
H: Well, she got me some chocolate today, so I wanted to repay her. I think she's been going through a really emotional time lately and I know she really wants this game...

If the warning sirens were any freaking louder my dogs would have started howling!

Me: ...so you're buying a very personalized Christmas gift, when you won't even buy your mother a gift, for another woman - that I don't know. Who is single. And has been going through a hard time emotionally. You realize how bad that sounds, right?
H: I can see how it sounds that way, but it's not bad. I'm not doing anything wrong. I just want to do something nice since she got me chocolate today.
Me: ...then buy her some chocolate in return!
H: [groaning and whining about how I'm overreacting]

---

Our marriage is on it's last legs, limping towards divorce, so I'm not really looking for advice, just wanted to vent.

Seriously? Either he's the brashest [email protected] on the planet or he's the most clueless. And I don't think ANYBODY can be that clueless.

I don't even have it in me to be mad or hurt. I'm just astonished he would be that blatant about it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Wait, Pokemon? Is the girl you're talking about like 12 or something? I'm confused. You think he's cheating with a child? Is he a teacher?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

If he wont buy a gift for his parents and he just out of the blue wants to buy a gift for a girl he knows. That is a huge red flag. There is nothing wrong with you being upset about that. I would look more into it. I would not confront him just yet I would see just how far things are and then make your decisions based on what you find. 

Clay


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

He's in college. She's somewhere in the 19 - 21 range; I don't know this woman personally, but I know she is of legal age.

Clay, I'm pretty disconnected from the relationship at this point. We've been falling apart for a very long time and both accept that we are likely to file papers in the extremely near future. If he is cheating, it's just the icing on the cake.


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## Daisy2714 (Sep 22, 2013)

I'm sorry this is happening. I am not laughing at your pain but seriously... can he be that stupid?? I had to laugh at the statement that WorkingOnMe made. Pokeman! Seriously?? Go ahead and file the papers. There's no point in dragging this out and it seems you are married to a child (emotionally speaking). 

Best to you,

Daisy


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

LoveatDaisy's I am so sorry you are going through this. It would be a horrible ending in my mind. I think cheating is the worst thing to do to someone you love aside of physical abuse. I am sure some mental abuse would be up there as well. How long have you been married? How old is your husband?


Dasiy,
Im a guy and I can tell you some men are just that stupid. 

Clay


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Absolutely some men are that stupid to think their wives are that stupid.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

That's pretty flimsy evidence of cheating though. If he was cheating, why would he even mention the girl?

Maybe he doesn't buy gifts for his mother because he dislikes his mother.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Theseus said:


> That's pretty flimsy evidence of cheating though. If he was cheating, why would he even mention the girl?


 Totally psychological. Actually part of the cheater's script. Talk about the OW/OM for the very reason you mentioned. Throw the BS off the trail. Taunt them, test them, throw the affair in the BS's face. Same reason a cheater will introduce the BS to the OW/OM.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm pretty sure if I was cheating I wouldn't be ordering a gift through the family computer with my wife standing there in the room. I'm also pretty sure I could come up with something better than a Pokemon game.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Pokemon, talk about downgrading......

Careful not to lose IQ points by holding that game.


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## jitterbug73 (Jun 24, 2013)

This sounded like something happening in grade school. Girl gives boy a chocolate bar. Boy gives girl his video game. I haven't heard of pokemon since my stepson was about ten. He's 20 now.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

jitterbug73 said:


> I haven't heard of pokemon since my stepson was about ten. He's 20 now.


I remember being trapped in a theater watching the first movie with my son. The dad in the seat next to me glanced over and gave me that look of "Help me!".


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Why is a woman in his classes giving him chocolate for no reason? She wants him to notice her. He noticed. And he's giving her a gift in return. Her move next, but he's already hooked.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Stop having sex if you still are. Separate your finances. Divorce and don't look back. You must have been very young when you got married. It's hard to maintain a marriage in any case, let alone when you are changing and becoming an adult (or not, apparently).


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'm pretty sure if I was cheating I wouldn't be ordering a gift through the family computer with my wife standing there in the room.


You would think so, wouldn't you? But there are people who don't hide things like this because they don't see it as wrong. For these people, there are no EA's. Slippery slopes do not exist. These are the folks who consider sex to be the line in the sand between what's okay and what's not for married people to be doing with people of the opposite sex. As long as there's no exchange of fluids, it's all good and their spouse is just being all crazy and paranoid. When they do have sex with the AP, _then_ they start hiding things. 

People with no concept of appropriate boundaries will do amazingly stupid things. It's not that they think they're partners are stupid (although they often do) but rather that they have no boundaries and can't understand why anyone else does either.


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## hopelessromantic1 (Feb 16, 2012)

So, he's spending your (and his) money on some girl because she got him chocolates....If you're young and he's in college, I'm assuming you're not overflowing the bank accounts. That would p!ss me off, even if I didn't think he was cheating. Must have been a fancy box of chocolates.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

hopelessromantic1 said:


> Must have been a fancy box of chocolates.


Could have been a box of cat turds and it wouldn't have changed things. All that matters is it came from a college girl and his ego is through the roof.


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