# I-phones and affairs



## cantclearhead (May 1, 2010)

If there are any experts out there is it possible to send emails from an iphone and have them not show up on the phone bill...and is there a way to check once the the messages have been deleted or check on the bill


----------



## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

Emails do not show up on the bill. It only shows as data sent. Once the messages have been deleted you can't find them on the phone or bill. You may want to see if they are saving their sent items. If this is the case then they may still be in the phone. Otherwise logging into the users email account from an actual computer will allow you to see all of the deleted items and inbox items. It will also allow you to see sent items, if they are being saved. 

However if you get a keylogger then you will be able to go back and check these items. Google it and I'm sure you'll find plenty of software that will allow you to do this.


----------



## cantclearhead (May 1, 2010)

would emails show up on the phone as recent calls..


----------



## AmorousWarrior (Jul 6, 2010)

No, the billing won't show that. Have you looked at your bill or have you just now gotten an iphone?


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I know I have the Droid and the only thing that shows up on our bills are my texts and calls. I think the Iphone is similar in that matter. You would probably have to log into their email to see any messages sent or received.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

My understanding - your spouse could go out and create a new Yahoo or Hotmail account that you would never know about, and access this account through the internet on their phone. It would basically leave no trace.

My wife was/is constantly tapping on her phone, yet no texts were coming through.

Other options include (and are not limited to):
Yahoo Messenger
Facebook apps
I've heard of people using Skype on other smartphones to make "voice" look like "data"
I've even heard of an app named after Tiger Woods that somehow sends messages - texts - over the net without showing up on the bill as texts.

I-Phones are INCREDIBLY powerful. If your spouse won't put theirs down or let you near it, you definitely have some sort of problem.


----------



## LadyOfTheHouse (Jul 9, 2010)

check out the new adultery app for i-phone, it's called i-trust and it spies on YOUR spying activity. it allows the user to see if their phone has been looked at by another party and they can adjust the settings to hide certain activity while appearing to present the full call n text record.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Lady - I hope your kidding, but something tells me you aren't.

Another possibility that maybe someone else could address - is there any way to use her Sim card to get passwords, etc ???


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I know it doesn't help much, but isn't Infidelity also still illegal?

What if I bought the phone or laptop that I'm monitoring? My wife's laptop - I've never put a keylogger on it even though I've been advised to - I could easily show that I was the person that purchased it.

I agree that snooping is unethical and even overrated - if your spouse takes their iPhone into the shower, sleeps with it under their pillow and has it locked so that you can't even answer it - you already know you have issues.

But at the same time, if you aren't doing anything wrong, you don't see it as "snooping." If my wife picks up my phone I might find it odd, but I don't leap across the room and grab it from her. If she comes into a room and I'm on the PC, and she looks over my shoulder, I might be a bit annoyed but I don't quickly minimize the window and unplug the PC.

Me looking at our cell phone bill didn't become 'snooping' until it was obvious that my wife was doing things she didn't want me to know about. Me trying to log on to a "shared" e-mail account didn't become "hacking" until she changed the password without telling me.


----------



## LadyOfTheHouse (Jul 9, 2010)

mr. brown, if YOU were paying your wife's phone bill, the phone would be technically yours and you would be w/in your rights to look at the bill. and as much as i love the idea of implicit trust, i think that in order to trust one another implicitly, freedom w/ each other's correspondence should be a-ok. i never would have objected ON PRINCIPLEto my husband using my phone and happening across a certain recurring phone #.

and whether niceguy is simply trying to avoid PAYING for his wife's adultery, or whether he's building a case to stick it to her in divorce court, it helps to have some evidence. it's his phone.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Hunt,
People who are cheating very often lie about it. Normal communication breaks down when you have an honest well intentioned spouse asking reasonable questions of a cheating partner. Often the cheating partner attacks their spouse for being paranoid or controlling. Thus the "victim" gets doubly victimized.

I think if you have reasonable cause you are ethically fine to install a keylogger, monitor text messages and/or use a GPS on their car. As to "legal" use of those messages I have no knowledge/opinion. Perhaps that info cannot be used "during" a divorce however it sure can be used as a basis for deciding whether or not you want a divorce. 

Generally it seems the best tactic if you have factual proof of an affair is to say that you "know" without saying how and proceed from there. It is WAY different to say "I know you have been unfaithful with X"' than to ask "why are you spending so much time with X?"




Hunt Brown said:


> easy answer first: if I bought my wife a purse, it doesn't mean I have the right to look in it. I gave it to her, it is hers, a gift, she has a reasonable expectation of privacy.
> 
> and adultry may still be technically illegal in a few states, it's not enforced, if it was enforced it wouldn't be upheld, and um... oh yeah, there's that old legal maxim, two wrongs don't make a right.
> 
> ...


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

If you want to help, please give this person some advice.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/considering-divorce-separation/14942-secretly-videotaping-your-partner-acceptable-ever.html

For the record, I've never installed a keylogger, and this post wasn't originally "mine". 

BUT - since we are having so much fun - the laptop was not a gift - it was bought for my wife, by me, to use during nursing school. She graduated 2 years ago.

And I was the one who originally set up "our" e-mail account. If I really wanted, I could probably contact MSN and get the password reset using those "secret questions" they asked when I set up the account 7 or 8 years ago. But I would prefer she just "give" me the password. The fact that she doesn't probably says more than any e-mail I would find.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

It is all about reasonable expectations of privacy - a home computer has consistently been ruled fair game by the courts. 

And of course "intent" is everything. You can install a keylogger for your own convenience. The fact you happen to discover infidelity with it - accidental side effect. NO ONE could go after you for that. 

In short - this law was not intended to protect the emails of cheating spouses on home computers/shared laptops.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Likewise, messages sent or received on a "family" or employer-owned computer and accessible by family members, co-workers, or the employer, likely do not enjoy protection from wandering eyes. In the examples above, it would be difficult to argue that there was a reasonable expectation of privacy, if any expectation of privacy at all. 

The reality is that marital misconduct is proven on a regular basis using evidence obtained through accessing stored electronic communications based on evidence that the communication lacked a reasonable expectation of privacy. 












Hunt Brown said:


> under the federal electronic communications privacy act (18 usc 2510 et seq) *it is a federal crime to intentionaly intercept or try to intercept any electronic communication*, *to share an intercepted communication or use it *(as evidence?) the criminal penalties are a fine and up to five years, and there are civil penalties as well...
> 
> and like georgia many states have statutes that track the federal law.
> 
> ...


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Didn't realize "two wrongs don't make a right" was a LEGAL phrase.

How about "All's fair in love and war...?"

In all seriousness though - if you have come to help - see the link I posted above.


----------

