# Need advice on proving adultery



## 1969Trumbull (Jan 18, 2015)

Six months ago I found out my husband of ten years had texted a prostitute. He claimed that "nothing happened," and insisted it was a terrible mistake. He promised it would never happen again and said he loved me and wanted to stay married. My trust was shattered, I was shaking, outraged, and blown away, since he appears to be a very "upstanding citizen." He admitted that he DID meet with women during our marriage, but said he "never had sex, never kissed anyone, and never had an emotional relationship." He said he wanted to renew our relationship, and promised to be faithful and devoted to me from that day on, and said he would make it up to me. He has appeared to be "trying." However, it's been six months since then, and over that time I decided to "keep my eyes open, mouth shut, and do not confront." I have become observant and began to notice things I hadn't noticed before. I ended up uncovering a six-year history of emails, dinners, hotels, condom purchases, and trips to meet with women during most of our marriage. That text that I found was only the tip of the iceberg of a secret life he was leading while I was at work and had no way of knowing his whereabouts and trusted him every minute. So here's where things stand. I have not let on to my husband that I met with both a lawyer and private investigator. They both claim if my husband has been faithful over the past six months, I have a weaker case for adultery. But if I can prove that he has met with women SINCE I first discovered the original text six months ago, that I can pursue adultery as a divorce claim. I am determined to divorce this liar, cheater and con artist but I want to be smart. I believe that he is currently continuing his behavior and thinks he has me fooled. The PI wants to follow him with a GPS device (at a cost of $1500 for two weeks surveillance), and I have been looking at past Credit card receipts (before the prostitute text) to find any real evidence of adultery, such as a motel receipt, and found one from 2009. That may not work, since he can claim that he has been faithful for the past six months. However, something incriminating happened around Valentine's Day. I found a pen from an expensive hotel at my husband's desk (he is anal about pens and uses only one).When I asked him about it he claimed he had gone there for a seminar but I checked and there were no recent seminars. Then a Victoria's Secret catalog arrived at our house a few days later, with a "Customer Number" in his 42-year old daughter's maiden name (so obviously someone made a purchase). Daughter said she did not order anything from VS, and has been using her married name on credit cards for 15 years. I looked up the VS online account but could find no account or order under any of my husband's or his daughter's email. At the same time, an LLBean order was made for men's clothes to be mailed to his office which is less than a mile away. He's obviously ordering clothes for himself which he does not keep at home. Is there a way to find out what he ordered from VS without knowing which email address? I am trying to keep this all quiet from him, because I want to gather as much evidence as possible before I confront him later in a divorce suit. I know I'll ultimately have to pay the PI, but what if husband doesn't meet anyone over those two-weeks time? I have to catch him. I am exhausted and just want this over with, but I don't want him to think he can just keep fooling me -- he thinks he's pretty clever. Please help.


----------



## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

Sounds like you have plenty of evidence hinting at an affair/affairs. Do you need to prove it where you live? If so, you probably will need to use the PI. Not really sure how all that works, a lawyer is your best bet.


----------



## 1969Trumbull (Jan 18, 2015)

Thanks for your reply Jane139. In South Carolina, adultery is grounds for divorce. I am afraid to use a keylogger because the PI and Lawyer both said they are illegal, and if husband finds out, I could be prosecuted with a federal crime. Has anyone else used a keylogger without being caught?


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I assume you are looking to speed up the divorce process as I believe s.c. has a year waiting period under no fault. 

You most likely have enough to initially file and get the ball rolling. Having enough proof for a full blown court hearing is another matter. 

If he is using escorts and such finding a paper trail will be difficult. Its a cash industry and most have housing arranged so your not going to find hotel receipts. Phone calls will be few also. 

He isn't going to procecute you under a federal law. Your lawyer will tell you this because he has to but be realistic he doesn't want his dirty laundry aired in court. 

File under adultery, get your deal worked out and it'll get switched to an agreement under no fault most likely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The good thing about keyloggers is you now have validation in taking the steps you need to take.

You may not beable to use them in court but it leaves the betrayed spouse the confidence that what needs to be done needs to be done with or without proving adultery.

In the end won't your old man be paying for the PI anyway?

At the very least you can share intel with the PI...just don't tell the PI how you got the intel.

Hell the intel you get from the keylogger will also show you what the game plan is during the divorce...so in short why would you tell your old man what your source is anyway.

Heaven forbid the keyloger police come after little ol you when there are hacker in China steeling millions from Corp.?


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Get the keylogger...if you have kids then you can tell the keylogger police that you were watching the kids internet use.


----------



## vpwhite2770 (Jul 26, 2013)

You don't need a PI to put a GPS Tracker on his car, you can buy one for a lot less at Amazon.com and do it yourself. If you have access to his cell phone you can place a program on the phone that will download all of his emails / texts messages, just do a google search for it. Good luck!!


----------

