# Cheated - do I tell her everything?



## 1d10t (Mar 22, 2012)

My wife knows that I cheated on her - she just doesn't know the extent. She knows I have a girlfriend. She knows this is recent and we've kissed. She doesn't know anything else. If I decide to end the relationship with the GF and seek marriage counseling, is it the right decision to tell her that I had sex with the GF? I know there are mixed reviews here. I dont' need slammed for being the ******* - I already know that. If I want to save my marriage, do I owe it to her to tell her everything OR is it better if she just doesn't know the full brunt of it? What would the counselors out there say?

Please advise - without flaming me.

Thanks


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yep. She'll find out eventually when you can't deal with holding it back.

You can't fix something unless it's sincere and this wouldn't be sincere.

Tell her EVERYTHING. Let her be the one to decide if she wants to fix it. Stop protecting yourself.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You have to tell her everything. It's not a matter of trying to protect her from your actions; the time to do that was before you did what you did. But now you have to give her the truth and let her decide if she wants to continue being married to you.

Look at it this way... If she came to you and said that she did something really wrong, and rang up some credit cards you didn't know about. She tells you it was $5000. You're really upset by this, as it means putting off buying a house, or having kids, or whatever. But you forgive her, and you work out a plan to pay it down and get on with your life.

But... A year later you find out it wasn't $5000, but $50,000. And the payments you've been making have barely scratched the surface.

Yes, it would hurt much worse to hear the $50,000 number up front, but at least you would have known what you were really dealing with. Half truths are not a good basis for any relationship, much less trying to rebuild trust.

Just my $0.02

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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