# Is this site your secret?



## Kricket (May 10, 2011)

So do any of you tell your spouse about this site or do you keep it to yourself? How would your spouse feel if they sat down at your computer and found some of your postings?

Are there any couples out there that frequent this site?

I haven't told my husband that I spend so much time on this site, but I will admit that I have learned so many good things that I don't think he would mind. 

Still I think I will keep it to myself


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Since my spouse is naturally paranoid and thinks I'm some kind of polygamist with secret families and stashed away women all over the place I keep this to myself.


----------



## orangyred (May 6, 2011)

I keep this to myself too. Only because I need a place to vent and express my feelings and sometimes I feel like I'd hurt his feelings by some of the things I say. I know, silly. But it's why I do it. I think it's the only site I've not told him about though. I usually tell him everything.


----------



## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

No spouse for me to be keeping TAM a secret from. However, if someone who knew me (including my ex-husband) where to visit this site and happened to stumble onto my posts, they would immediately know it was me. LOL!!! I express my situations exactly as they are or have been.


----------



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Yes, this is kept to myself... I don't have anyone to talk to about these things, so I need an outlet and I agree the advice is often really helpful


----------



## tjlee (May 19, 2011)

Same here. This is the only place I have to talk things over. I have no one else.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> So do any of you tell your spouse about this site?


Oh hell no...



> How would your spouse feel if they sat down at your computer and found some of your postings?


Darth Wifey...
Can hear the music playing just thinking about it too...

YouTube - ‪Imperial March‬‏


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Yes, it's my secret. It's the one place I get objective responses. My family is just too angry at H, his family says they are too hurt, friends are pretty much non existent these days. So this has become a sort of refuge for me. It has helped me to come here.


----------



## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

My H and I are separted....sometimes I wish he would find this and read my postings - but he doesn't want to come out of denial right now - maybe this would help. I certainly know I can't!





Runs like Dog said:


> Since my spouse is naturally paranoid and thinks I'm some kind of polygamist with secret families and stashed away women all over the place I keep this to myself.


:rofl:


----------



## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

Yes, it's a secret. Somehow I think she would not be happy if she knew.
Who knows, maybe she's here as well?


----------



## FaithHopeLove (Apr 21, 2011)

Well I guess I'll be the first one: Yes, my spouse knows about this site and yes, he has read some of my posts here. I just sent a pm to a male member and had my hubby-to-be (only 20-some odd days to go!) review it-- make sure my opinions were not sharing too much information about our relationship.

He doesn't come read the site or check my history-- he trusts me that much, but being able to share some of my posts here with him has let us have some good conversations.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Oh hell no...


:rofl:


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I've been involved in online communities for more than a decade. My wife is not interested in much that I do online. But, I do let her know what is going on. I always discuss any private messaging with members of the opposite sex. It's just simple safety, I wouldn't want her to think I look like a duck. 

I didn't come here in response to a eminent break in the marriage. I will admit there is and has been difficulties in the marriage, but I wasn't looking for a specific answer. So my needs from the community are not the same as the majority here. Nonetheless, I have personally gained a lot of understanding in the few weeks I have been here.

The two things I have been applying with quite a bit of success are:
I started taking a low dose of tribulus terrestris daily.
I have been very conscious of my manliness factor.

I read about Thermostats today and that may soon lead me to post on a new situation in my marriage.

I hope she will read and respond with me when I do. 

M N


----------



## jsmith (Nov 1, 2009)

I keep this to myself too


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

H knows I'm on a Forum about marriage, he just doesn't know it's this one. The majority of what I say here is told to him. I don't think him reading would matter much, but I enjoy having one thing in my life that's just for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

My W knows I come here, but she doesn't read any of it.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Hmmm... maybe we're all in an EA with this site?


----------



## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

It was. Then one day my H had to use my computer for something and said when he was on it off to the side he seen this 'story' about a wife and her husband and he started to read it. As he read it he said it sounded like him and I. So he clicked on it and WAMO! Still haven't figured that one out that this site would 'just appear' on the internet screen without some type of search or something.

Anyway, after that he 1) was mad at the comments 2) upset that he invaded, yet again, something of what was to be privacy for me, a place to be me and 3) swore he would never come back as he miraculously understood I needed something for me and if this was the place so be it.

Well, he's been peeping on and off as a few things we disgusted last night, were comments I have made here within the last month or two. 

If we are all honest.....the internet is NEVER secret if one is inquisitive enough.


----------



## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

lisa3girls said:


> Yes, this is kept to myself... I don't have anyone to talk to about these things, so I need an outlet and I agree the advice is often really helpful


:iagree: even the advise we may not like to hear (read) it helps.


----------



## KJ5000 (May 29, 2011)

I discovered this site about a two years ago (only registered recently), when we went through the very first rough patch in our marriage.
The wife still doesn't realize how rough it was and that the marriage was very close to being OVER. She has a tendency to block unpleasant things out and press on.

Things between us are fine now but if I told her about TAM, she might see how exasperated I was and it would just open old wounds. Let's keep it between us.:ezpi_wink1:


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I'm very surprised it's a secret for so many here.

Don't we all proclaim a key to success is 'total transparency and passwords to any and all online stuff'...?


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband has known about TAM from day 1. MY 1st couple threads -I read all the replies to him. It has sparred much interesting communication & growing between us. We tell each other near everything. 

I read him posts from time to time, I bring up some of the interesting discussions I encounter on here & get his opinion. I would be so thrilled if he came here & posted, but he does not like to "write", heck he says he doesn't like to "THINK" ! [email protected]#$%^ I live for such things -How did I marry someone so opposite of myself ! Insanity. This is MY hobby, he has a few of his own. 

I've never been a chat room person, but I have always been a "message boarder" since discovering the net, many various forums, many different subjects. I enjoy reading others storys, learning something new & giving feedback is always alot of fun.


----------



## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

My SO is a member here as well. I see her posts and she sees mine. FWIW she's on here way more than I am. Does she get upset about what I post sometimes? Yes, but no more upset than when she hears what I have to say in person.


----------



## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

F-102 said:


> Hmmm... maybe we're all in an EA with this site?


:scratchhead::rofl:


----------



## grizabella (May 8, 2011)

My husband knows about TAM. He will ask me what's going on here but I don't think he's been here himself. He's on another forum and I ask what they're talking about there. He had an EA with someone on a forum late last year and it was pretty painful for both of us when I found out. So, no more secret postings for us.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I was encouraged by my husband to look for a good forum to go to!

That's how I found TAM. 

He knows I like to talk about marriage. 

He has also joined TAM, although he doesn't spend much time here, he only posts when I ask him to! 

We don't keep secrets from each other. I can't keep any secrets.


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

My husband knows I'm here.

I've offered to let him view, he says he's not interested.

Would I be uncomfortable with him viewing "some" of my posts? Maybe...but I've posted nothing that he is not aware of, so I'm not hiding anything.

He recently made a comment that he wishes I would get off the site. He was not altogether happy about some advice that I got and took to heart and implemented - while I thought it was good advice, it didn't quite work in my situation and rather backfired. So I understand his concern, but I'm not willing to let go yet - this site has been a lifesaver for me - especially last year when I was in my darkest hours.

So, he knows I've been here, but he doesn't know I'm still here.

And that's probably best for now. 

He visits websites I don't know about either.

So this is my indulgence and he has his own (mainly porn).


----------



## kcc01 (Jun 5, 2011)

Oh no my husband doesnt know about this! He would freak out on me...hes the type that god forbid i voice my opinion of tell him how i feel because its either one of these 2 responses...."your crazy in the head" or "why do you always have to b*tch about everything im so tired of it.."


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

It also helps to have his sign-on when you get banned.



greenpearl said:


> I was encouraged by my husband to look for a good forum to go to!
> 
> That's how I found TAM.
> 
> ...


----------



## moo (Nov 22, 2010)

Prometheus Pyrphoros said:


> Yes, it's a secret. Somehow I think she would not be happy if she knew.
> Who knows, maybe she's here as well?


That would be funny. I read a post once that sounded like my husband at first. But it turned out that it was someone else with same issues This is my secret
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## B329FA (Jun 21, 2011)

Well I have told my wife about TAM and have shared most of the posts that I post with her. At least the ones that involve her. 

I have never been very good at expressing my feelings and this site allows me to express myself while getting some good and bad advice. It also allows me to share my feelings to my wife in a way that I am comfortable with.


----------



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

This site is a secret for me too. I'm not "allowed" on any social websites. I know, it is kinda ironic how it is advocated here to be honest and transparent, but that doesn't work in many relationships, esp. when dealing with a controlling SO. I only post here at work cause he monitors everything I do, this is my escape! I have found out many of his secrets, this one is tame compared to his! I don't feel guilty.


----------



## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I used to be perfectly happy with venting in my private journals, until hubby read some things he didn't like in my "private" journals and we got into a big fight about it. Now I vent on here, and heck no he doesn't know!


----------



## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

I've told my husband about this site a few times & discussed with him about some of the more unique threads I've read here. 

I'm secretly hoping he will read the forum & find some information to help our marriage. No luck... yet!


----------



## Random User (Apr 29, 2011)

Semi-secret. I've mentioned the site in general terms. I've no one else to talk about the subject with, and he knows it. 

The bookmark is also right up there on my browser bookmark bar and I haven't hidden the password, so if he wanted to see he could. I don't think he has.


----------

