# At the end of my string....



## strongwomanof1984 (Jul 20, 2011)

Im gonna try and make this as simple and to the point as possible as though I will def. answer anyones questions or concerns to details I may have left out....but I just dont know what to do anymore....

To start things off, me and my husband got married WAY to young, he was 16 and I was 17, reason of getting married is we were expecting our first child. We had three kids before we were even 21 so needless to say my "teen and year adult years" were spent being mommy. We our coming up on our 10th anniversary and the past few years have been HELL.

My husband joined the military. He was due to deploy and ended up leaving me and our three kids just months before he was supposed to leave for Iraq. Got with a girl in our home town, told me he was marrying her on my birthday before he left for Iraq, got her name tattooed on his ring finger and basically left me and the kids high and dry forcing me to move in with my father. Weeks before he left he started begging me back saying he made a mistake and such. Well I love him with all my heart and took him back and agreed to work on things. Well over the first half of his deployment things were rocky but not horribly bad. Then he came home for R&R at midtour and I found out that he had been calling the same girl from Iraq. So things went down and they went downhill quick. I fell into a horrible depression where all I wanted to do was drink and party and smoke, and I have NEVER been a party person, a person to drink, nor a person to smoke. We were off and on for the last few months of his deployment and so yes I slept with another person a few times, and it was when I was drinking and partying. I know there is NO excuse for what happened but it did, I regret it but nothing I can do to change it but prove to him that I love him and stand by his side completely.

Well after a year of being back from deployment, living together and making our marriage shine, he finds out from his sister that I had slept with someone and this was about a year and a half ago. Ever since then it has been a constant battle of trying to keep things together. He has had numerous internet dating affairs including talking with the girl he left me for before his deployment. In the time he has been back I have been a good mother a good wife and a good person all the way around, even after his numerous internet affairs. And now he tells me that he can not look past what I did and needs a break so he can go and sleep with someone so that in his head we are "even". 

Im lost, Im hurt, Im confused on what to do, because even though we are separated I am not allowed to talk to any other males even if its just as friends because it would beat the whole purpose.....Any advice would be apperciated, and please dont bash me from doing what I did to an American Soldier...I love him with all my heart and stand by him 100%, but will admit that yes I had a moment of weakness but have proven myself to not be the weak person that I was....


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## strongwomanof1984 (Jul 20, 2011)

Please feel free to add me, or send me a private message.....


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## FaithHopeLove (Apr 21, 2011)

Sweetheart, I am so sorry that you were unable to spend the earlier years being a normal teen and young adult. Raising children, especially when the father of your children is bringing such drama into your life, is never easy for a single mom, so my heart goes out to you.

I really wonder if at this point there's a reason to stay with this man and try to have a romantic relationship with one another. Seems like there is a ton of baggage between the two of you-- and also it seems like its very difficult for each of you to forgive one another for past wrongs. 

I'm sure you do love this man, but it doesn't mean it would be healthy for you two to remain in a relationship. It seems like he's taking up too much of your energy-- which should really be spend on raising your children and taking care of yourself. 

A new relationship, with a better man, who doesn't have a history with you might just be the right thing you need in your life.


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## fastcablecar (Sep 8, 2011)

Hi, 

came across your thread.. i am in the same title "end of my string" (well most days...) but I salute you dear for being as strong as you are... 3 kids at a young age, experiencing serious marriage issues before turning 30.. well it tells us women that age doesnt tell anything at all.. you know im a woman of 1984 as well, im 27, 2 almost 2 years in my marriage but i also had relationships from the past were i was always the one who gets the boot for being too submissive. Guys dont need a reason to cheat (base on experience) us WOMEN have very serious reasons why we cheat (guilty-regretful feeling right?) but i think you shouldn't feel bad nor should anyone bash you from what you did. He has slept with a girl before when he left you and cheating on you with internet affairs if this happens to me i wouldnt even take a look at him at all nor even want him(but thats just me). its very unfair if he's acting up like a jerk(sorry) coz you slept with someone a year ago and he cant just let it go, but seriously if he wants to get even then he's seriously not mature enough to realize your worth and how much crap he put you through, i still cant believe how you can take him back though.. you love him and all but isnt it time for you to love yourself now? you lost your young years and being a mommy at a young age is not a bed of roses.. although i cant relate to 3 kids since I only have one but I know how you feel  cheer up, im sure things would be great for you if you start thinking for yourself. send me a message anytime if you want. im new here, i have issues lol but i can be a friend. take care.


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