# Husband of 5 months refuses oral...and doesn't seem to enjoy sex



## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

*Husband of 5 months refuses b/js...and doesn't seem to enjoy sex(updated)*

:scratchhead:
So last night I wanted to have sex and he said he was tired. Like it has happened very often, I told him to just sit back and relax and that he wont need to do anything because I will take care of him and started trying to give him oral. He got so upset, got up and went to sleep in the coutch 



A little about us: He is in his late 20s I am mid 20s. We've been married for about 5 months together for 4 years.
We have sex average twice a week. For me it is not enough. I have a very high sex drive as it turns out. He is the first and only man I have ever had sex with becuase I always believed in waiting until I found the perfect guy. Before him I had a hard time creating relationships with guys I dated because they all seemed like sex maniacs and were not shy abt showing it. When I finally started dating my husband he was SO different! I told him that I was not going to have sex with him until I felt ready and he was so understanding! I though I had found the perfect guy that I had been waiting for for so long and our relationship started getting serious. 

He is an all around great guy. We seem like the perfect couple to other people. BUT when it comes to our sex life I am not happy. He wants to make me happy, but his sex drive doesn't seem to match mine.
I feel like when we do have sex he does it because he "has" to. When it's that time of the month I feel like he feels relieved that we dont have to have sex for a whole week. 
I used to be really confident about my looks (and generally I get hit on a lot and get lots of compliments from other men) but I find myself feeling very insecure about my looks lately.

When I initiate sex he normally says "no". We usually only have sex when he initiates. I try to say "no" to him just so that I can feel like I have some kind of control, but he keeps insisting and we end up having sex because my body gives up. When I try to initiate it and insist he gets mad  and we end up arguing and me going to sleep feeling rejected. Why doesn't his body "give up" like mine does?? 




I am really confused. Am I doing something wrong? I want to be a good wife. I cook for him, I work at home and outside the house, Sex and oral are always available to him when he wants, I even give him masages whenever he has had a hard day at work etc etc. I try to do all the little things to keep him happy. But we've only been married for 5 months. If we barely have sex now, what's going to happen in 1, 2, 5 or 10 years? 2 times a week might sound pretty decent for most people, but I don't feel like he enjoys it. I feel like he does it to make me happy and can't relax enough to enjoy it and have an orgasm.


Can I hear from the men at all?

Sorry for the long post..


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Any advice?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

So.

You married a man who didn`t want sex and now you`re upset because......he doesn`t want sex.

You got what you asked for


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Has he had his testosterone level checked? Also does he watch porn?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I really wish I could help. I just can't relate. My wife and I have a good sex life, but she is not like you. I have the higher drive. I want it all lf the time and I am going on 57. She will have sex just about whenever I want and has a great orgasm 99% of the time, but I initiate about 75% of the time. I have always wondered what it would be like to have a wife like you. Not that I am looking elsewhere or that I am not really satisfied in our relationship, it is just that...well, how could any man turn down a wife like you? Just read the posts of all the sexless men on here. 

I know all of this does not really help. I just know if YOU were my wife, neither of us would ever leave the house!!

The only advice that I can give is get counseling or decide if you really want to live another 50 years like this.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> I told him to just sit back and relax and that he wont need to do anything because I will take care of him and started trying to give him oral. He got so upset, got up and went to sleep in the coutch


I'm just speechless. I mean... I have never heard anything like that. 

There is something _seriously _wrong with this cat, and it's not low testosterone. Low pollywog count does not account for him freaking out like a croc was about to chomp down on his williker.

Just throwing out some theories... he is :

1) Suffering PTSD from some early sexual abuse or trauma; 
2) He's gay; 
3) He's got serious religious belief hangups taught to him by well-meaning but assinine parents.

Give us more info.


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## Ayla (Aug 24, 2011)

It could be any of the things the other posters have listed or it could be a control issue. Is he controlling? Maybe he has preconceived notions about what constitutes appropriate female sexuality. Maybe he feels like the man is supposed to be the sexual aggressor and it turns him off when you initiate? I seem to have this issue with my own husband. When I initiate or act super interested it dampens his interest. He is the type that likes to chase. I don't reject him but the only way I get really good sex is to tease him then make him chase me. 

I've only been doing this for about a month but it seems to be working. He just called me and started speaking suggestively about having sex tonight when he comes home from work. I used to tell him how much I was looking forward to it and then he would come home and nothing would happen. Meeting him at the door in lingerie meant a half [email protected]@ erection. It would take longer to get him up and for him to cum too! I just acted non-commital when he called....said well lets see what happens when you get here. We might be tired....there's always tomorrow. He became insistent...told me to nap before he gets home...lol! I can't believe I have to play games with him like this but its working. I'm getting felt up...chased around the house. Hes showering with me and we've been having sex about 4 times weekly.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Has he had his testosterone level checked? Also does he watch porn?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, but that's something to think about. 
He doesn't like porn. Actually I watch more than he does...for "educational" purposes


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Do you have kids? Just wondering how long this can really last...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get his levels checked. Honestly the only time a man should refuse oral is if he's been dead a full week. Up to 7 days dead and he'll still get into it.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> Get his levels checked. Honestly the only time a man should refuse oral is if he's been dead a full week. Up to 7 days dead and he'll still get into it.


:rofl::rofl:

Dead on!!! Aint a healthy man alive who would refuse a polish from a loving wife. Get hubby to a Dr.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Have you out right asked him why he turns you down?

He sounds like a very drive person. I hate to tell you but this will most likely not change. So you will need to decide if you can live with this sort of sexless life? IMHO, it's not worth it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wow... are you a clone of my wife?
Sounds like I am a clone of your husband!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Read my responses here:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/37977-hd-women-putting-him-1st-2.html

And my thread here:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/33223-tips-ladies.html


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

5 months and no kids.

not much vested in this relationship yet. I would tell him he has to compromise. but this will be a battle your whole marriage most likley.

put a time frame on it and then if its dosn't change for the better then you have to make a decission. 

your young and good looking and if sex is important to you in a marriage you might decide to cut your losses.

I wouldn't blame you if you did.

being turned down consitantly really builds resentment and over the years you will grow indifferent to him and thats never good for a marriage.


good luck


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

are you sure he don't swing the other way? any man who refused oral from his wif has serious issues.


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## alphapuppy (Jan 17, 2012)

spudster said:


> I'm just speechless. I mean... I have never heard anything like that.
> 
> There is something _seriously _wrong with this cat, and it's not low testosterone. Low pollywog count does not account for him freaking out like a croc was about to chomp down on his williker.
> 
> ...


Agree and want to add that he might have suffered ANY kind of trauma, it wouldn't have to be sexual. it's likely about control, not sex.


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## alphapuppy (Jan 17, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Get his levels checked. Honestly the only time a man should refuse oral is if he's been dead a full week. Up to 7 days dead and he'll still get into it.


LOL

Yeah, unless he just crawled across a desert for a teaspoon of water, he's not too tired to get a BJ. "Tired" is sometimes for real but because it is a serious, serious pattern for him, it's a bull**** excuse.

If his sex drive isn't as strong as yours, also remember that maybe when you initiate, he might feel pressured, and your insistence to pleasure him when he wasn't into sex probably didn't help. I can't really say what is going on but it sounds like a control and respect issue.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

67flh said:


> are you sure he don't swing the other way? any man who refused oral from his wif has serious issues.


I am 99% sure he is straight. Sometimes I feel like the man in the relationship.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

spudster said:


> I'm just speechless. I mean... I have never heard anything like that.
> 
> There is something _seriously _wrong with this cat, and it's not low testosterone. Low pollywog count does not account for him freaking out like a croc was about to chomp down on his williker.
> 
> ...



I don't think there are any early trauma or abuse issues. He doesn't like me touching his butt so I asked him once if there were any issues with him having been touched inapropriately when he was young and he said no. So I don't touch him there anymore. 

Like I said I am pretty sure my husband is not gay.

I don't understand your 3rd point? His family is one of those that goes to church every Sunday to the point when now that we are together, he feels guilty if we skip a Sunday. I am not religious myself, but I go to church with him because I know it is important to him. 


So I am confused and feel like a bad person for complaining about my husband and something so personal. I feel like if my sex drive was lower our marriage would be perfect. He tries to make me happy. When we have sex he is great, he tries really hard to satisfy me, but I have never had an orgasm (I love it when my husband makes love to me, but I can please myself better than he can...if u know what i mean).


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

The_Good_Wife said:


> I don't understand your 3rd point? His family is one of those that goes to church every Sunday to the point when now that we are together, he feels guilty if we skip a Sunday. I am not religious myself, but I go to church with him because I know it is important to him.


That could be your problem right there.

Like spudster said..

"3) He's got serious religious belief hangups taught to him by well-meaning but assinine parents."

Someone who feels guilt for missing church one Sunday is someone who may very well equate sex with sin and feel guilt due to their upbringing.
Sex is dirty, bad, only for making babies.
Enjoying it causes guilt.

I`m currently surrounded by people like this.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I'm pretty puzzled with this problem. It just seems so out of the ordinary especially for someone so young. I don't think it's the control issues, or the fact that he feels he should initiate it. Most men are fine with their wives inititing it.

I would say it would have to be a harmone problem, but even when he wants to have sex he does not want a b/j? that sounds like something else.

Does he have any gay tendencies, seems like the only possibility, unless there's more to the story.

Even when my husband was in a neck brace hooked up to a portable iv, he was still wanting some extra....


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

tacoma said:


> That could be your problem right there.
> 
> Like spudster said..
> 
> ...



Yeah, but wouldn't he have been around his buddies who would always been talking about sex etc. and he would have realized it was all normal?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

working_together said:


> Yeah, but wouldn't he have been around his buddies who would always been talking about sex etc. and he would have realized it was all normal?


It depends on the depth of his isolation as a kid and even in his adult socializations.
If his buddies think the same way then..

I know 50 year old men who think this way.

If they`re not exposed to "normalcy" or have the idea that sexuality is bad indoctrinated into them when exposed to normalcy they reject it.

I don`t know if this is what`s going on here but the guilt over missing church one sunday is a screaming red flag.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Tacoma I don't think that is the case because he likes dirty talk durring sex. I actually used to be more conservative than him when we met and took me a while to get used to the dirty talk. Now I enjoy it and expect it.

When we have sex he is very passionate. However he doesn't last long. The rare times he lasts loger than usual I start wondering "is he going to finish now?"....."maybe now?" I CAN'T RELAX! It bothers me so much.


Let me try to get some things straight:
There are times where he just comes home from work and we have sex before we even say "hi". 
He asks for bjs at random times (and always gets them). He doesn't have anything against bjs...as long as he is in the mood for them and he is the one that asked for it. He seems to not like them when I initiate them (just like sex). Now if his sex drive was as high as mine I would have no problem with him only wanting sex when he initiates because he would be initiating it daily or multiple times a day (which would be ideal for me). But he can go a whole week without sex and not have a problem!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I wonder if on days you offer or intiate he has already rubbed one out eariler that day and is just not that horney because he took care of himself eairler


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## alphapuppy (Jan 17, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I don`t know if this is what`s going on here but the guilt over missing church one sunday is a screaming red flag.


Agree!!!!

It is likely that someone who feels guilt over missing church would also feel guilt for normal sexuality.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

The_Good_Wife said:


> Tacoma I don't think that is the case because he likes dirty talk durring sex. I actually used to be more conservative than him when we met and took me a while to get used to the dirty talk. Now I enjoy it and expect it.
> 
> When we have sex he is very passionate. However he doesn't last long. The rare times he lasts loger than usual I start wondering "is he going to finish now?"....."maybe now?" I CAN'T RELAX! It bothers me so much.
> 
> ...


That sounds like control to me. How about saying no to him, I know it's hard since you have a higher drive, and it could be another week. Wait it out, say no, and don't give in, see what happens, do this for a while and he might come around and let you initiate once in a while.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

The_Good_Wife said:


> Tacoma I don't think that is the case because he likes dirty talk durring sex. I actually used to be more conservative than him when we met and took me a while to get used to the dirty talk. Now I enjoy it and expect it.
> 
> When we have sex he is very passionate. However he doesn't last long. The rare times he lasts loger than usual I start wondering "is he going to finish now?"....."maybe now?" I CAN'T RELAX! It bothers me so much.
> 
> ...



Well then I`m leaning towards some kind of disfunction.

ED
Premature ejaculation
Low testosterone

Remember that ED isn`t always a consistent thing.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn`t and that actually makes it scarier for a guy than if it just didn`t work.
The wondering/worrying if he`s going to "fail" this time can actually be the cause of the failure.

Has he been checked by a urologist?

Might be a place to start eliminating problems and narrowing the possibilities.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> When we have sex he is great, he tries really hard to satisfy me, but I have never had an orgasm (I love it when my husband makes love to me, but I can please myself better than he can...if u know what i mean).


You need to show him how to do this for you... lovingly and playfully with a toy or orally. My wife never has an O from intercourse, she is just not made that way. I can get her off with oral because she took the time to show me how she wants it done.

Most men really get off bringing their wives to O. I know I do, and maybe doing so will chip away dome of your husband's insecurities.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

spudster said:


> You need to show him how to do this for you... lovingly and playfully with a toy or orally. My wife never has an O from intercourse, she is just not made that way. I can get her off with oral because she took the time to show me how she wants it done.
> 
> Most men really get off bringing their wives to O. I know I do, and maybe doing so will chip away dome of your husband's insecurities.


Yes!

You women seem to think that you all work the same way but I`m here to tell you each of you is entirely different.

It took me months of investigation and experimentation to discover how to get my wife off and I wasn`t inexperienced at all.

It took me years to perfect it and she`d never give a hint of an education to me.

What`s up with that?


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

An innate part of a man's sense of his own masculinity is his ability to pleasure his wife to climax.


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## flora_matlock (Jan 11, 2012)

The simplest answer would be that he is gay. I'm 100 percent certain that my husband is not gay...if you're only 99 percent certain, then I suspect maybe you have some small doubt, if only one percent. I had a good friend who was happily married to a man for ten years before he told her he was gay. She was not suspicious in the least. This situation is not all that uncommon.

What kind of porn does your husband enjoy watching? Does he enjoy watching porn that includes only women, or does he prefer porn that includes naked men? Does he "eye" pretty girls when they go by at the mall? Or is it the guys that he looks at?


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## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

The_Good_Wife said:


> :scratchhead:
> Can I hear from the men at all?
> Sorry for the long post..


Let's introduce him to my wife, they'd be the perfect couple. No really ! It's been just my luck to wind up with a spouse who was programmed that everything 'down there' is dirty, shameful, and that it is degrading to a woman to have to put her mouth on a man... and as she got older, she got MORE inhibited.

I recognise that men and women are different, but we are also sexually mismatched. In my experience when a woman has an orgasm, sex is OVER and she becomes irritable if the man still wants to touch her. A man can and often does have multiple orgasms,and likes to keep going, if only he's allowed to relax and not given a great deal of stress.

I long for touch. Mutual touch. I have come to the conclusion that it is not to be had in a hetero relationship.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Yes!
> 
> You women seem to think that you all work the same way but I`m here to tell you each of you is entirely different.
> 
> ...


My ex would get upset if I tried to tell him anything about what I liked during sex or about sex. Some guys are like that I guess. 

I have no explaination about your wife except maybe she's shy about talking about sex.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zhopa said:


> Let's introduce him to my wife, they'd be the perfect couple. No really ! It's been just my luck to wind up with a spouse who was programmed that everything 'down there' is dirty, shameful, and that it is degrading to a woman to have to put her mouth on a man... and as she got older, she got MORE inhibited.
> 
> I recognise that men and women are different, but we are also sexually mismatched. * In my experience when a woman has an orgasm, sex is OVER and she becomes irritable if the man still wants to touch her.* A man can and often does have multiple orgasms,and likes to keep going, if only he's allowed to relax and not given a great deal of stress.
> 
> I long for touch. Mutual touch. I have come to the conclusion that it is not to be had in a hetero relationship.



Really? Any woman who does that is really missing out on a lot of good sex. Maybe no one ever told them that the first orgasm is not the end of it... I know I can keep going and going... I'm sure most women can if they would just relax and get into it... 

Sometimes a little break with less intensity is needed for both, but it picks up again. Oh yea!


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## Zhopa (Jan 18, 2012)

Elegirl,

It is reassuring to know that there are still women out there who who know how to enjoy sex without guilt and hangups. 

After a decade of being faithful to someone with Victorian attitudes, it can seem like the entire known universe.



EleGirl said:


> Any woman who does that is really missing out on a lot of good sex. Maybe no one ever told them...


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Thank you for all the replies everyone!

We talked about this issue and had a great conversation. He already made an appt with the doctor to check his testosterone levels.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

spudster said:


> :rofl::rofl:
> 
> Dead on!!! Aint a healthy man alive who would refuse a polish from a loving wife. Get hubby to a Dr.


Not true. I've never been able to get into oral, giving, yes, receiving, no. To me, once you do it and i'm up, I want the good stuff. That and the fact that i've never cum from it, and i've had women try to the point their jaw cramps, but i dunno, nothing like the power of the kitty.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

The other thing that I didn't mention and that is the reason I never thought he would have testosterone problems is that he never has a hard time getting "excited". What really bothers me is when he is obviously aroused and still refuses a bj. Anyways just another thought I just had.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

I'll tell you what I told another female poster. I guess a lot of women feel that because they are eager to have sex, and a lot of it, means that they are good at it. au contraire. You may need to re-evaluate your love making abilities and see if there is anything to improve upon, especially if the man in your life was sexual prior. Maybe he has been bored to tears by how things are done. Speaking from experience. And he probably doesn't want to say it to prevent hurting your feelings. just my $0.02


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

The_Good_Wife said:


> I am 99% sure he is straight. Sometimes I feel like the man in the relationship.


 I recognize this.

Feeling the man in the relationship. Initiating for sex. 
I've got a few years on you, and I've always been high drive. 
And it has had the same effect for 20 years.
It's fantastic for awhile, guys think it is awesome, but truthfully a man's ego is not really designed to operate that way.

And really as a woman, I would be happier myself in a more traditional scenario.

Random Dude has some good insight on this. 
Maybe your man needs to be the chaser.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> Thank you for all the replies everyone!
> 
> We talked about this issue and had a great conversation. He already made an appt with the doctor to check his testosterone levels.


Good going! You've made it over a big hurdle.

Keep us apprised of his progress. 

By the way, are those YOUR LEGS on your signature stamp?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> I'll tell you what I told another female poster. I guess a lot of women feel that because they are eager to have sex, and a lot of it, means that they are good at it. au contraire. You may need to re-evaluate your love making abilities and see if there is anything to improve upon, especially if the man in your life was sexual prior. Maybe he has been bored to tears by how things are done. Speaking from experience. And he probably doesn't want to say it to prevent hurting your feelings. just my $0.02


Exactly how is the women going to evaluate her love making abilities? If her husband finds them wanting then it's up to him to teach her some new tricks and what he likes. 

This goes both ways... both the husband and wife have a responsibility to teach the other what they like and to bring new ideas to the love making.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Hi everyone.

So a quick update on the situation. Turns out hubby has low testosterone. in the 200s. Please let me know if u have any experience with this. He already had 2 blood tests and they both showed results in the mid 200s.

It is Valentines day and we had sex this morning (he initiated). I know that since we already had sex today, It wont happen tonight and I feel very bad because when he comes home and brings me flowers etc my gift to him can't be sex...so I am getting him gifts.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

There's a good thread in the Men's Forum about a regular who had low test. Should give you plenty of reading to do.

C


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

what's the title?


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

My advise is when he initiate do not say no so you feel like you have control. That is childish. Your sex life should not be a chess match.
Life is not fair! Lol. After 18 years my wife can not finish the task of giving a bj. Must be a Catholic thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/19213-dealing-low-testosterone-hypogonadism.html


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

The_Good_Wife said:


> Hi everyone.
> 
> So a quick update on the situation. Turns out hubby has low testosterone. in the 200s. Please let me know if u have any experience with this. He already had 2 blood tests and they both showed results in the mid 200s.
> 
> It is Valentines day and we had sex this morning (he initiated). I know that since we already had sex today, It wont happen tonight and I feel very bad because when he comes home and brings me flowers etc my gift to him can't be sex...so I am getting him gifts.


My H has low T ... when found it was very low. But he didn't seem to have libido problems - he still wanted sex, but his 'plumbing' took longer to function and wasn't as firm as normal.

What has your husband's doctor suggested? My H's doctor put him right on testosterone injections. We're about 4 - 5 months in to it - he's almost 50. It has helped his energy level a lot, his mental clarity a lot, his libido is the same, but his plumbing works a lot easier now. He just went for a blood draw and another check and will have to have his dosage upped a bit.

All I can say is to be patient - as it can take some time to get the hormone levels adjusted and stable - and then you will just have to see what he's like at his adjusted level. Hopefully he will feel better - but if his refusal about doing oral is something more ingrained - more a personal choice or inhibition - you may still have to face those hurdles even with adjusted levels.

Best wishes.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

*Re: Husband of 5 months refuses b/js...and doesn't seem to enjoy sex(updated)*



The_Good_Wife said:


> When I initiate sex he normally says "no". We usually only have sex when he initiates. I try to say "no" to him just so that I can feel like I have some kind of control, but he keeps insisting and we end up having sex because my body gives up. When I try to initiate it and insist he gets mad  and we end up arguing and me going to sleep feeling rejected. Why doesn't his body "give up" like mine does??


You're fighting for control in the relationship. That won't work. I recommend that you give him control. That doesn't mean being passive, though.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Enchantment said:


> My H has low T ... when found it was very low. But he didn't seem to have libido problems - he still wanted sex, but his 'plumbing' took longer to function and wasn't as firm as normal.
> 
> What has your husband's doctor suggested? My H's doctor put him right on testosterone injections. We're about 4 - 5 months in to it - he's almost 50. It has helped his energy level a lot, his mental clarity a lot, his libido is the same, but his plumbing works a lot easier now. He just went for a blood draw and another check and will have to have his dosage upped a bit.
> 
> ...



Mine still wants sex, too. Just not as often. We have sex 2-3 times a week and when it happens it is very passionate and he tries really hard to please me. He wants b/j when he wants them and enjoys them.

His dr suggested an MRI. After 2 blood tests his levels are low, but he still doesn't have all the traditional signs of low T. He went to a specialist who is asking for the help of another specialist to determine what is going on. So for now he is not in any medications. We are going to the dr together next week. 

Right now I am not worried about our sex life. We had sex in the morning yesterday for v-day. He bought me beautiful stuff, we had dinner out, wine at home while playing our favorite videogame together and we couddled all night. He wanted to have sex before bed, too but I could tell he was tired and wanted him to rest so I offered we do it in the morning. He asked if I was sure and I said yes so he didn't try again or complain. I am perfectly fine. I am just worried about him right now and want to make sure that he is healthy and I want to be suportive of him. 

I was taking it personally before, because I had no idea there was a testosterone problem. So naturally I was expecting my husband to want me 24/7 (especially since we are so young)and when he didn't I would blame myself and think that he is not attracted to me.


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