# displaying "private parts" in public?



## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

Background: (I've got a few threads) - single mom, 6 year little girl of divorced parents. Her dad left us over a year ago for another woman. We've been managing pretty well, ups and downs. DD has displayed some negative behaviour in the past but it has pretty much evened out. I do some good parenting techniques with her to help her thru all this divorce crap. She's got an attitude no doubt but were working on it. 

However a few times now I have been told by her teacher she is "showing off her private parts". For example, she will be wearing a skirt to school and she will life it up. Today, she had pants on and decided to pull them down while she was sitting so her butt was hanging out. 

Is this normal behaviour for a 6 year old?? She is a very bright child and she knows its wrong. I ask her why and she said she doesn't know. Then she told me she thought it would be funny. 

Has anyone else experienced this???
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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

I've read your other posts, and read other things you've written about your daughter. She sounds like a normal, typical 6 yr old in your other posts about her. She sometimes pushes boundaries and what 6 yr old doesn't, and it truly sounds like you have a good close relationship.

What are your instincts telling you? You know her best. Sounds like to me she is looking for attention and maybe enjoys being a class clown at times? I would firmly discuss how our private parts are private and also use it to reinforce the idea of "bad touches" what they are, and that includes people that she knows. Again, you know her well, what does your mom sense tell you here?


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## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

Thanks Cooper, I appreciate that. We do have a very close relationship for sure. I still worry a lot about her tho. I don't really know what is considered "normal" or if this is behaviour because of the result of the divorce and then also her adoption and what her family background is. 

We talked a bit more about it once she stopped sooking about being grounded for the night and told me she thought people would notice and it would be funny. 

I give her lots of attention, but the attention is lacking from her father which I cannot do anything about. Just not sure how I can help her in that area. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

Oh, I agree it is unacceptable. I don't think she is necessarily looking for attention from you or her dad though. I think she is looking for class clown attention, she enjoys her classmates looking at her and paying attention to her and making them laugh. Really normal 6 yr old behavior. That don't think about it being inappropriate, just funny. You know, like saying Pee and poop and fart jokes, 6 yrs olds find this the height of comedy. Talk to her teacher and find out if this could possibly be happening here, it just sounds like it is the case to me, but again, I'm not there and you are.
Is she a girly girl or a tomboy type...I am betting tomboy.


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## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

You're right. She is a tomboy. But she does like her dresses too. Altho shed be the first one to jump in a mud puddle with it on lol. 
I was able to talk to her a bit more about it. I grounded her from any screen time and made her help me do laundry, which she actually enjoyed and we ended up having a lot of fun with it and she told me she sometimes feels left out cause she's the "new kid". She thought if she could be funny she could make more friend. Awww, that's so sad!! But completely normal like you said!! So I am relieved for sure. 

Raising an opinionated little girl is hard work on my own. I just never know what is right or wrong.
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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

familyfirst09 said:


> Raising an opinionated little girl is hard work on my own. I just never know what is right or wrong.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Aww, but that is just it sweetie...you do know! You just aren't giving yourself enough credit. 
You are more than halfway there by just listening and talking to her. You KNOW this kid and that is because you work hard at it. Something even this stranger on the internet can see. You will both get there, because you have each other!


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## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

Well thanks very much I really appareciate that!! I guess I don't give myself enough credit, still deal with a lot of guilt over the divorce. So I automatically assume when something happens behaviour-wise, its because of it. I guess I still need to figure out the normal ways of a 6 year old. 

When we got to her class this morning I made her tell her teacher what she told me about her thinking it would be funny and she also apologized. I hope it doesn't happen again.
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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

FF, the Canadian school system must not be a strict as the ones here in the States. The story below was on the news this week. It's ridiculous!!

6-year-old Colorado boy suspended for kissing a girl | National & World News | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News


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## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

Omg that is ridiculous!! Thanks for sharing karole!!
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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

familyfirst09 said:


> Well thanks very much I really appareciate that!! I guess I don't give myself enough credit, still deal with a lot of guilt over the divorce. So I automatically assume when something happens behaviour-wise, its because of it. I guess I still need to figure out the normal ways of a 6 year old.
> 
> When we got to her class this morning I made her tell her teacher what she told me about her thinking it would be funny and she also apologized. I hope it doesn't happen again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It will! My 24 year old daughter was JUST like this! Would do anything to crack up the class. Had a best friend who was worse! Oh the antics those two got up to!!!!

Your daughter like to make people laugh, when they laugh they like her. She likes to laugh, as we all do, and we usually like to be around those who make us laugh.

This doesn't mean there is something wrong with her. It just means she likes people and wants to be liked....and has a fire cracker in her pants when she thinks up something funny she's gonna do it.

Have fun with this, tell her you're recording everything for her future face book page!

My favorite story for my daughter and her crazy friend...

They were both little nudists! We have a pool, they had a pool and lived a few houses away. They jump in our pool, swim naked, jump out grab a towel and run down the street to the friends house in just a towel. One day I was folding clothes when there is a bang on the back sliding glass door. I look up and see two Lilly white behinds, soaking wet, pressed against the door. I started laughing and they both shimmied against the door getting it soaked. There was NOTHING sexual about it. Just two young girls with far too much time on their hands and enjoying the ability to crack Mom up!


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

karole said:


> FF, the Canadian school system must not be a strict as the ones here in the States. The story below was on the news this week. It's ridiculous!!
> 
> 6-year-old Colorado boy suspended for kissing a girl | National & World News | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News


What a stupid over reaction to normal innocent behavior.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

NWCooper said:


> I've read your other posts, and read other things you've written about your daughter. She sounds like a normal, typical 6 yr old in your other posts about her. She sometimes pushes boundaries and what 6 yr old doesn't, and it truly sounds like you have a good close relationship.
> 
> What are your instincts telling you? You know her best. Sounds like to me she is looking for attention and maybe enjoys being a class clown at times? I would firmly discuss how our private parts are private and also use it to reinforce the idea of "bad touches" what they are, and that includes people that she knows. Again, you know her well, what does your mom sense tell you here?


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

The exception is that 6 year old girls don't show their privates and get embarrassed even if their underwear is showing. I have 3 girls (20,15,11).

Most likely she is looking for attention. This should subside after having frequent talks about modesty and proper public behavior..

Just had another thought, does she have any little friends that do this also or may even dare her to do it?  If she does, cut all ties with them

Good luck


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

I have a son who seems to always be sticking his hands down his pants! He doesn't do it in school, but at home it can be uncomfortable! I told him that he can do that but only in his room and when I see him doing it I say "Go to your room until you are done!" HAHA Now at 12 he learned ONLY IN HIS ROOM!


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## familyfirst09 (Dec 6, 2012)

thanks for all the replies!!! It was definitely for a reaction, I know this now.
On Christmas night, she got into the fake tattoos that santa brought her and completely tattooed my nephew....my sister called me the next day "OMG he has a tattoo on his butt!!!!" LOL. priceless. (she didnt' do it, he did it himself). He had no problem showing it off either lol. Kids eh?


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