# Husband cancelled divorce and OW



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I thought our divorce would be final a few days ago and found out the husband cancelled the divorce. He is just all over the place. So we have been talking a little bit by fb and on the phone. We are not living together. Neither one of us mention the divorce. He has an OW, a penpal, who lives overseas and they've never met and probably never will. I'm 90% sure shes a scammer as she contacted him and declared he was her soulmate after chatting for a week. Anyway I don't know how I feel about any of it. I think he is having a midlife crisis. 

I think he is playing both sides of the fence as she started making passive aggressive comments on her fb towards me implying he loves her and not me and to let him go.

I am really unsure what to do at this point? I'm considering just ignoring her because frankly she isn't real. I'm also considering just talking to him casually to try to rebuild our communication.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Tigger
He has an OW, a penpal, who lives overseas and they've never met and probably never will. I'm 90% sure shes a scammer as she contacted him and declared he was her soulmate after chatting for a week.*

That "soulmate" is typically a scammer (male or female, who knows). Some scammers even contact his or your family members and put pressure on you or him with the goal of getting money. I hope he didn't disclose any information about any friends or relatives.

So, if it is a scammer and not a real OW, how would you proceed to continuing talking to your H?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Refile the divorce papers yourself he sounds unstabe .


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I would ask him to move out until he stops all communication with the OW. Then if he does that, and you want him back, you can gradually work on him coming back after at least 6 months of MC and dating. 
It may well be a scam, so it may be a good idea to move some money into an account in your name, but the fact is that he thinks he is communicating with a real woman and that is unacceptable. I honestly don't know why you let him back so soon.


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Handy said:


> That "soulmate" is typically a scammer (male or female, who knows). Some scammers even contact his or your family members and put pressure on you or him with the goal of getting money. I hope he didn't disclose any information about any friends or relatives.
> 
> So, if it is a scammer and not a real OW, how would you proceed to continuing talking to your H?


Shes a she as she has video chatted with him. I read through her fb and she has had several western men who were "soulmates". She mentions her hard life there and how much she wants to leave her country. The men seem to send her things and buy her crappy paintings. Then I guess they get tired of being used and then she tells people oh they were just a friend lol. I've told him she is a scammer but he is being stubborn. She says she is going to fly to his country and meet him late next year September 2018. She'll never get a visa.

He was scammed before out of $3000 at work by a guy from the same south asian country. We had a mutual friend who had his life ruined by a romance scam so really my husband should know better!

I hope he hasn't disclosed any info either. I think I should keep the communication open. I imagine she is pressuring him to get rid of me.


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