# Known cheater



## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

I just had the ephiphany of a lifetime. My husband and I have been married for 3 months now, and he is a cheater. I believed, each time that he would change, I even saw some change in him, but now I believe that he has only changed things to make it "look" good and have become smarter with his cheating and his women. 

Right now it only appears to be one, my question is, please don't judge me, has anyone stayed with a man that the knew were unfaithful?

Trying to figure out how I get out of this. Or if I even can.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

3 months?? Did you marry him knowing he was a cheater, and if so, WHY?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Bail now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

annulment?

or open marriage?

what do you want? he's probably a leopard that won't change his spots


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

is an annulment possible in your jurisdiction?

that seems most applicable.
he married you under false pretenses if he kept his dalliances secret from you before marriage.

"Grounds for Civil Annulment

Grounds for civil annulment vary slightly from state to state, but generally, an annulment requires that at least one of the following reasons exists:

Fraud or misrepresentation".


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## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

He has cheated previously, yes, but, I believed him when he proposed and said he'd be what I needed him to be. When we married, yes, I trusted him, although I've heard that you should never trust your spouse 100%. 

Our courtship has been riddled with infidelity. We have a one year, and he has one two, the babies are a week and a half apart. If that isn't an incentive to stop cheating, I don't know what is. I really believed he had gotten it together. AND I believe that I heard from God that he was the one. Another reason that I'm still here. 

I just don't know. Is counseling worth it?


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## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

I don't want an open marriage, and neither does he, lol.

Usually the people that dish can't take it!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Stuck82 said:


> Right now it only appears to be one, my question is, please don't judge me, has anyone stayed with a man that the knew were unfaithful?


Do you mean stayed with someone who had cheated in the past but shown remorse and repaired the marriage? Sure, there are plenty of those around.

Or do you mean stay with an unapologetic cheater who shows no interest in changing his ways? I think there's a lot fewer of those who stayed for any reason other than that they couldn't get out, and for good reason.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Steak and ice cream. Takes a while but you will never be prosecuted. Oh and Bacon.


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## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

That made me laugh. Thank you. LOL


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long you date him before you married him?

Not all cheaters are repeat cheaters. But your post makes it sound like he's cheated a lot, maybe with several women. Is this true?


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## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

We were together for 5 years on and off. 

I myself had been a cheater in all of my other relationships, until I got with him, so I know some times people can just stop, because I did. But, is that the same for men?

He had cheated early on, and in between a couple of years before we moved in together, and I've known about two women since then. Since we got married, I don't "know" of any, just suspcious (sp)


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Stuck82 said:


> We were together for 5 years on and off.
> 
> I myself had been a cheater in all of my other relationships, until I got with him, so I know some times people can just stop, because I did. But, is that the same for men?
> 
> He had cheated early on, and in between a couple of years before we moved in together, and I've known about two women since then. Since we got married, I don't "know" of any, just suspcious (sp)


Why are you two fighting so hard for monogamy? It doesn't really seem to be in your natures. Maybe you should stop trying to force a round peg into a square hole.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Most cheaters do not change. You can stay but you might want to consider just opening the relationship up. I am with the others. RUN. 

Never look back. 

C


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## Stuck82 (Sep 22, 2015)

I haven't been a cheater in over 6 years, I think I'm reformed, lol


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Stuck82 said:


> We were together for 5 years on and off.
> 
> *I myself had been a cheater in all of my other relationships*, until I got with him, so I know some times people can just stop, because I did. But, is that the same for men?
> 
> He had cheated early on, and in between a couple of years before we moved in together, and I've known about two women since then. Since we got married, I don't "know" of any, just suspcious (sp)


I <3 this thread


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Stuck82 said:


> We were together for 5 years on and off.
> 
> I myself had been a cheater in all of my other relationships, until I got with him, so I know some times people can just stop, because I did. But, is that the same for men?
> 
> He had cheated early on, and in between a couple of years before we moved in together, and I've known about two women since then. Since we got married, I don't "know" of any, just suspcious (sp)


Yes it's the same for men. Some quit. Some do not. 

You knew about all this before your married him. 

You said that you dated him on and off for 5 years. So how much of his see other women as after he told you that he would not with each time the two of you got back together?


I sounds like the two of you married without addressing your problems.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> I <3 this thread


You do have a bit of a drive-by obsession on this topic, don't you?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Cletus said:


> You do have a bit of a drive-by obsession on this topic, don't you?


Which specific topic would that be?

Anyway, that (OP's post that I quoted above) hit me right in the LOLs.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Stuck,

Whatever you do, do not have a revenge affair under any circumstances, it's bad enough you H is a serial cheater, it's worse if he turns you into a cheater. Your children/child requires one sane parent.

Tamat


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Stuck82 said:


> Our courtship has been riddled with infidelity. *We have a one year, and he has one two, the babies are a week and a half apart.* If that isn't an incentive to stop cheating, I don't know what is. I really believed he had gotten it together. AND I believe that I heard from God that he was the one. Another reason that I'm still here.


Do I understand correctly that you and your husband have a child together and he has another child with another woman who was born within two weeks of the child you share? So, essentially, he got you and another woman pregnant within weeks of one anther?

And you thought God told you he was the one?

Therapy. Not for your train wreck of a marriage. But for yourself. Figure out why you believe God would tell you to marry a man who does nothing but hurt you. Figure out why you don't think you deserve better than this. Figure out why you chose to commit your life to someone who treats you this way. Fix you. Let this "man" be someone else's problem.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Get yourself to a lawyer's office like yesterday! You deserve far, far better than what he is offering you!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

op... You have already answerd all of your own questions in your original post. You know what you have and what you really want. They are not the same thing. So you can stay and deal with what you have or you can leave and make a happy life for yourself and maybe a really great partner will come along eventually...even if not I can't imagine being happy in your current circumstance ..


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Ohhh.... And YES .... You can definitely get out of this if you want to.., no doubt about it!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Stuck82 said:


> He has cheated previously, yes, but, I believed him when he proposed and said he'd be what I needed him to be. When we married, yes, I trusted him, although I've heard that you should never trust your spouse 100%.
> 
> Our courtship has been riddled with infidelity. We have a one year, and he has one two, the babies are a week and a half apart. If that isn't an incentive to stop cheating, I don't know what is. I really believed he had gotten it together. AND I believe that I heard from God that he was the one. Another reason that I'm still here.
> 
> I just don't know. Is counseling worth it?


Trade your god in for another. The current one is passing you bad info!:surprise:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Trade your god in for another. The current one is passing you bad info!:surprise:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


More like the filters of communication were clogged with heavy layers of muck And severe static>


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I'm sorry to say this but this will not end well. Your husband impregnated another woman around the same time as you. He does not respect you, has no obvious qualms about cheating, probably loves the fact that you are faithful but the rules do not apply to him. Why did you decide to get married? You will be the one to end up with the most pain in this relationship. I would suggest you use the methods on this site, get evidence and file for D.


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