# No solutions.



## tilting (Jul 19, 2013)

Hello all. Great forum. Sex in marriage is possibly the most difficult sub-forum in all online forums. Difficult as in affecting a desired outcome in the OP's life. Most often the issues are because that's just the way things are.

37 male here. married 11 yrs. 2 kids. I am clean, average build, healthy and make decent money.

Age old problem of LD/HD. I'd like it every other day. She would want it maybe once in 3-4 weeks if left to her but she makes an effort to provide duty sex which is often peppered before-during-and after the event with the questions of whether that encounter counted towards our weekly prescription sex. 
More often its me jerking off (she doesnt like giving an HJ) while she presses close to me and sometimes makes some affectionate sounds till I cum. The whole drill lasts 180 seconds. At 182nd second she is in the washroom retrieving tissue paper for cleanups. 
She does deign to give me 60 second BJs. Never to completion. Never if there is a drop of precum visible. 
No dirty talk. No kinky ideas. No lingerie. No shaving legs. 
Will let me rim her making annoyed sounds all the while. No finger in backdoor. No anal probe (i bought it never got used). No butt plugs ( i bought one but never got used). No anal ( I have an unused 15 oz bottle of ID glide lube :-/).
Likes backrubs (sensual jimmyjane soy candles are awesome but the results arent as dramatic in our lives) but usually asks disdainfully 'do we have to have sex?' the moment i suggest a backrub.
Does not like dildos (I bought two - they lie unused), nor vibrators (the hitachi magic wand does nothing for her) nor a clit vibrator (***UOKU).
I have resorted to porn for a long time to get my rocks off (almost daily) but I can clearly see that our out of sync desires are extremely unhealthy. I also know that things are not likely to ever get better in the sexual dept.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Has she always been like this in your relationship? If not at what point did things change. 

I'm sorry in any case - it sounds very tedious. It sounds like she morsels out just enough, the least she can to make it appear like she is making an effort. 

There are solutions - just not good ones. I might suggest stopping all sexual goings on with her for a while and suggest that she shouldn't flatter herself. Her duty sex is not hardly what dreams are made of and her skills are lacking as well.


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## tilting (Jul 19, 2013)

She was OK frequency-wise for a a few years after marriage but the hangups over most things non-vanilla have always been there.

She is a very good mother though!

I just realized that if someone went through my 'stash' and found all those toys that i mentioned in my starting post he/she'd think that we have a WILD sexlife which could not be further from the truth.

I think mentally both of us have checked out, maybe 25%. In a 'no consequence' world I would want to know if there is something better suited for me (and for her) out there. oh well........


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

tilting said:


> Hello all. Great forum. Sex in marriage is possibly the most difficult sub-forum in all online forums. Difficult as in affecting a desired outcome in the OP's life. Most often the issues are because that's just the way things are.
> 
> 37 male here. married 11 yrs. 2 kids. I am clean, average build, healthy and make decent money.
> 
> ...


Do you eat her ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tilting (Jul 19, 2013)

She finds it boring.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

tilting said:


> She finds it boring.


Might wake her up to know you have other options. Sounds like a power struggle where she's not going to give in on the sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tilting (Jul 19, 2013)

The truth is I dont have other options.

I am an East Indian living in a very caucasian part of North America. Before you jump to conclusions my wife does not have an east indian mindset as she was born here.
People treat me Ok, mostly because of my professional position but i dont see north american women running after a 37 year old garlic boy (except maybe the ones who think it would be financially beneficial)

Besides, broken families are the first step towards very complicated lives for children to which they may or may not adjust properly.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Do you know each other's Language of Love? Have you heard of this book? Would your wife say that her needs are being met in the relationship if you asked her?


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

tilting said:


> More often its me jerking off (she doesnt like giving an HJ) while she presses close to me and sometimes makes some affectionate sounds till I cum.


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