# Is is wrong to talk to you Ex Wife



## dumbfoundad (Oct 15, 2009)

I have a situation here that I would like a womans point of view. Lord knows I dont understand women or the "Post divorce games"

My Ex Wife and I were married 23 years and had 3 children together. She lives in another state 1000+ miles away. I have been divorced for 7 years now and have since remarried 2 years ago. Lately she has been calling me often, maybe 1 or 2 times a week with what she calls letting me know what is going on with the kids. they are in their late 20s so I know what is going on. I have always had a very good relationship with my children and call them reguarly. Usually I dont answer the phone when she calls but she leaves me a voice mail to call her when I get a chance. Normally I dont call 9 time out of 10, but on ocassions I call to see what is up. 

Now the issue. My current wife has been looking at my phone records and found that I called her on several ocassions over the last 3 or 4 months, and she is very upset about it. Its not like I call her out of the blue. it is only after she calls and leaves me several voice messages. Is she right or am I wrong?

And the plot Thickens. My sister who lives in the same city I am in, and my EX have been best friends since before I met her. So anything that I say to my sister goes back to my EX. 

Please help.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

Just be honest and tell your wife what whats going on. Just like you posted here, keep your thoughts to you and your wife so there is no drama!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I would definately keep wife in the loop. Tell her hey, my ex called like 10 times, I am gonna call her back. Try calling her back when your wife is home so she knows what is going on. I can understand her being uncomfortable with this, but at some point she will have to realize it is just a phone call, no big deal. Just tread carefully, and try to involve your wife so she feels included.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Talk to your ex- in front of your wife instead of when she's not around. 

But honestly, she's the one with the problem, IMO. Your ex-wife will always be a part of your life because of the kids, just as my ex-husband will always be a part of my life... and my husband's ex-, the same.

Is this your wife's first marriage?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You're kids are grown, they don't need both daddy and mommy to be on the same page anymore. Stop calling your ex back, she'll eventually find someone else to come running to. If that doesn't work, change your phone number.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I would say it's not that you're calling your ex, it's that your wife feels you're being secretive about it (since she found out by phone records). I would just keep her informed of when and how often your ex has called, tell her when you're calling the ex back, and make the call while your wife is present so she can hear that it is perfectly innocent. If that doesn't ease her mind, then you need to ask her why she has such an issue with it and see if there's anything you can do about it. 

I also have to add that I find it odd that your ex suddenly has felt the need to contact you about the kids now, after all these years AND after the kids are grown. Unless the kids are having major life crises or something, I just don't see the point. While I don't think I agree with F-102 that mom and dad don't need to be on the same page, I do think the kids are perfectly capable of informing mom and dad on their own of the circumstances of their lives, and deciding for themselves what they want each of their parents to know.


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## Elora (Nov 13, 2010)

I am my husband's 3rd wife. Speaking from experience- tell your wife what's going on with your ex. My husband still has contact with his last ex- they were married about 11yrs and have 2 children together. Unfortunately I am a jealous person but as long as my husband just lets me know he's talking to her instead of trying to hide it, I'm okay with it. I don't love it, but I know they had a relationship and still have a friendship.


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