# Hubby doesn't watch porn, just pictures???



## Cherryfest (Apr 21, 2010)

Can I have a perspective on this please anyone? 
My husband doesn't watch standard porn movies as he says they're all the same and generally 'skanky'.
He only gets off on classy pictures of nudes like 'Met-Art', Perfect 10 and stuff like that of which he has LOADS of pictures. What's going on here? If it;s not the sex act that does it for him then it MUST be the women themselves  I'm more worried than if it was hardcore porn. Any guys got an opinion on this??


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## Overwhelmed (Apr 15, 2010)

As the saying goes: Just because you're on a diet, doens't mean you can't look at the menu.

I think it is probably pretty normal for both men and women to evalute the attractiveness of the opposite sex. The crucial factor is whether or not they act upon that attractiveness by cheating on their partner either emotionally or physically. Under that heading, I would say that if his involvement with his photos adversely affects your sex life with him: ie: he prefers masturbating with his picture collection to having actual sex with you, than it is a problem.

Have you talked to him about this matter and explained how it makes you feel?


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## Cherryfest (Apr 21, 2010)

Thank you SO much Overwhelmed. PLEASE would you read my other recent post entightled 'Husbands Obsession'. I think the background will be clearer then. Any advice would be SO appreciated. When I ask everyone focuses on the porn issue and not the blondes thing (and ever present deceit throughout our marriage) that is really bothering me.

I don't 'think' he would cheat. But as they say, a man will only cheat as much as his amount of opportunity


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

:iagree:


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## Cherryfest (Apr 21, 2010)

Hiya guys,

Yes we have talked (calmly) and seen a counsellor at great expense and my husband absolutly assured me that unless he was totally honest about everything then we couldn't move on and repair our marriage. I listened and agreed and felt a bit better that at long last he was being honest. THEN, last night I discovered that he had also been viewing girls on webcam. 

After ALL the talking, assurances, counselling etc he was STILL lying to me after having every opportunity to come clean. Seriously, I just think he must be a serial liar. Why he does this I have no idea because he knows full well I'll find out because i have a vested interest in doing so. What on EARTH do i do now? The next step is actual chatting then most probably cheating. Do I really sit around waiting for the next step and more lies? Now I'm all cried out and just plain furious.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Could be... that the reason he lies is that he wants to do his "thing" and has a good feeling that you would react badly. Crying and being furious are two clues. I'm positive that you'll say, you're mad because of the lying and not the pics or whatever. Thats fair but im pretty sure if he thought you'd say "these are GREAT hunny, you should do more of this" he might not be hiding. Im not sure what the answer is but i have a hunch that tghe answer will include being supportive...NOT making him feel like a pervert and eventually helping him see that you see this as threatening to your marriage.

2 pennies for ya.


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## Cherryfest (Apr 21, 2010)

I've always been supportive of porn and watched it with him. I've supported his fantasies, I've supported him in every way from work to telling him constantly how much I love and find him attractive. Please tell me how on earth I can support his webcam activites with other women?

Anyone?????


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Cherryfest said:


> I've always been supportive of porn and watched it with him. I've supported his fantasies, I've supported him in every way from work to telling him constantly how much I love and find him attractive. Please tell me how on earth I can support his webcam activites with other women?
> 
> Anyone?????


Sounds to me like he may have other issues. He's obviously looking for "something" he feels he's not getting. That does NOT mean you are doing a thing wrong at all. The issue seems to be with him and not you. You have gone above and out of your way to be open with him in your relationship. You have given him quite a bit of freedom and he is still wanting more. The part about all this that would bother me wouldn't necessarily be the act itself, but not being honest with you. You have shown to him your ability to bend over backwards for him, yet he's still keeping secrets. Maybe he's embarrassed by an obsession he has? I'm not entirely sure. If he cannot or is unable to open up to you about the real reason I'd say try some counseling.


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## Cherryfest (Apr 21, 2010)

Yep we tried that too. Counselling sessions at £50 an hour for weeks on end. He lied to the counsellor too! All the webcam admissions came AFTER the counselling. The webcam was ALL with the same blonde too. I'm now simply weary of the whole sorry mess


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