# Tale of Two Cities...



## 2cities (May 29, 2009)

*Should I Move?*

Hi Everyone! I'm new here, and I really need the help of those that might be going through something similar to me, because I really don't know what to do....

Here it goes...My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years and have been married for only 7 months. He is from another city but we happened to meet when he was visiting my city. Anyway, we've been together ever since. I'm extremely close to my family and I told him from the beginning very clearly that I would not be willing to move away from my family. He understood so we kept dating. 

For the last few months we've been having a lot of problems....fighting almost everyday....to the point that he says he's tired of all this and he doesn't even know why we got married. Now he's talking about wanting to go back to his city, that he hates it here. He says he always wanted to raise his kids in his city with his friends and family around (he's not even that close to his family). Things have been a lot better lately, almost like normal....We haven't mentioned anything for like 2 weeks about the status of our relationship or moving other than he says he has hope for us and he wants to work it out, but he doesn't think he can live here. He wants us to move to his city. 

Now i'm really stuck, because he sounds really serious about this. Why did he continue a relationship for almost 5 years knowing how I felt about moving? Why did he move here? Why did he marry me? Why now, after not even a year of marriage is he going to do this? He knows how extremely close I am with my family. My mom and my sister are my best friends AND my sister just had a baby. She's not even 2 months old yet....

I guess what I want to know is, is this fair of him? I definitely don't want to lose him, so do I go with him? I can't imagine my life without him. I get sick just thinking about not being with him, but I know I won't be happy living without my family...

Are there other couples out there that have moved for their husbands or wives even though you didn't want to? How do you cope with it? Was it not as bad as you thought it would be? Is it worth it if the love is there? HELP!!!

Thank you so much to everyone that offers any kind of help or advice!


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## 2cities (May 29, 2009)

Is the possibility of moving not really as big a deal to everyone as it is to me?? To me, this is like a life-altering decision especially since i'm close to my family...NO one out there has moved for their loved one??


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I have never lived away from my home city, until my husband was offered a job in Orange County, CA. We moved across the country and lived there for 4 years. It was a great place to live, weather always nice, so many things for the kids to do, but I had a hard time being away from family and friends. We moved back and hopefully are here to stay. 

I think it varies from one person to the next how well they adjust to a major move, but you sound like me with family being close so it might be a tough move for you.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Logistically, making a move like that is no small task. If he doesn't already have a job lined up, money in the bank to pay for movers, a house, or rent, I don't think it's very likely that all of you are going anywhere.

Depending upon how fed up he is, whether or not _he_ goes, is another matter.


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