# How Do I Convince Him To Leave?



## MollyMcBudda (Jan 31, 2012)

I want to file for divorce. I have been planning it out. The issue is that I have no where to go. No family will take me in, except out of state.
We have a 15 month old daughter. I would have to take her with me. 
I would have to sell or throw out everything I have accumulated in 36 years, or figure out a way to move it.
My husband is the sole breadwinner as I have been a SAHM for the last 15 months. I am looking for a job but having trouble finding anything that will cover daycare costs. 
He keeps me on an allowance but because money so scarce these days, we go hungry (and just feed the baby) or without gas or electricity for a few days at a time. He works for himself and refuses to apply for jobs at companies (He says that this is just what you have to go through when you have your own business).

At this point we are medically uninsured, collect WIC for some food but with his income, which I have no idea of what it is, I don't think we could qualify for anything more.

So, if I file, there is a chance I will be homeless or have to move to another state and leave my entire network and some family that might help with babysitting or job leads here in CA.

I am so at a loss....is there anyway that I could legally get him to move out? He refuses to do it. I have asked him. His parents and grandmother live locally, he could stay with them.

I have a small inheritance and I have been using that to live on for gas and to buy necessities for the baby above WIC for the past 3 months but I am quickly burning through it and once it is gone....well, I better have a job.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

MollyMcBudda said:


> I want to file for divorce. I have been planning it out. The issue is that I have no where to go. No family will take me in, except out of state.
> We have a 15 month old daughter. I would have to take her with me.
> I would have to sell or throw out everything I have accumulated in 36 years, or figure out a way to move it.
> My husband is the sole breadwinner as I have been a SAHM for the last 15 months. I am looking for a job but having trouble finding anything that will cover daycare costs.
> ...


So you are going to divorce him because his business is struggling and you are having financial problems?


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## Chrysalis (Mar 20, 2012)

I, for one, hope he never gives in to your little game. if if only he'd have an affair, right? Just to make it easier?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

We have to know more. How have you been managing the last 36 years and why no baby till now.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You should talk to a lawyer about your options. You may be able to find one that offers free initial consultations if you shop around enough, and you may be able to find options for low income situations. 

But why should he move out if you're the one that's unhappy? If he was the one posting here, everyone would be advising him to stay. Your best best is to start divorce proceedings, if that's where you need this to go. Of course, at the end of that process, BOTH of you will likely need a new place to live...

The financial situation isn't going to magically get better either. You can't expect him to live with relatives forever, so his income will be supporting two households now. And with him having to give up say, half his income, to you, his incentive to earn more money will go way down. And if bills go unpaid for awhile when he's living with his relatives, HE won't be affected if the power goes off for a few weeks.

Sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but I think you need to work towards being as self-sufficient as possible before forcing the issue. Once you're separated/divorced, I suspect you can count on him less than you do now, so you need to be realistic about what to expect. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrWombat (Feb 16, 2012)

You are aware that divorcing a guy doesn't mean he magically has money that he didn't have before? Even if the court does award CA and alimony, you may discover that collecting it is an issue.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Once you file, I believe you are eligible for programs, etc....especially with no income and children.

Check out the laws in your state. I think you have to show the petition for divorce, etc...but you can get help.

My friend did this. When she filed for divorce she managed to get what she needed.


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