# Is my husband cheating



## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met with changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masturbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masterbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59




My money is on cheater. 


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

With that many explanations most if not all are a lie...


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

He is masturbating in the car? That is just creepy, if it is even the truth.

Your guy is in trouble, whatever the real story is. Most likely, he is cheating, which is worse than his lame stories.

Do you want to even bother with him anymore?

Why not just let him go, so he can have fun with his pills and himself... or his AP.

S&H, I'd suggest you first divorce him, then find yourself an honest man who will also be a loving sexual partner. But I know this is difficult when you love someone, even if they are a jerk.


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## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

damn cheater!


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## h02venon69 (May 14, 2018)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masterbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59




Wow it's hard to trust someone when you had been hurt or betrayed. But for now all you can do is trust on his words and forget about what you saw or think you know. Trust him and start again. Trust me the truth always comes to light and if he is doing something sooner or later you will find out.... Than at the point you can decide what to do.... I hope this can help you. And good luck. 


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The one truth in that is he doesn't want you to divorce him. The rest of it, well .....


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

No, not in car. Said he takes pill on drive home so ready when he takes shower. Yes, I love my husband. We have 3 sons and married for 25 years. I can’t think straight. I’m in shock or denial or both. I dont know


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

I would tell him you accept his explanation and you've come to terms with it. This will make him drop his guard. At that point you should go into full investigative mode. You can put a GPS tracker or spare phone in his car to see where he drives to. You can also put a voice-activates recorder in his car to see who he talks to when he's driving. If you can get access to his phone, have a good look at it while he's in the shower or sleeping.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> No, not in car. Said he takes pill on drive home so ready when he takes shower. Yes, I love my husband. We have 3 sons and married for 25 years. I can’t think straight. I’m in shock or denial or both. I don't know


You might want to talk to him about boundaries, but you might want to try to put yourself in his shoes.

Having them in the car is not smart. If he is masturbating at home in the shower, tell him you want to be part of his sex life and participate with him. You can also tell hm that if he is or ever has an affair, that is a marriage deal bbreaker, if it is. Make sure he explicitly understands the consequences of cheating.

Unless he tells you or cheats in the future and you catch him, you will probably never know the truth.

Good luck.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Using them for masturbation is somewhat believable but not likely given all the other circumstances. Bouncing around excuses is a bad sign. And using embarrassment for hiding them is a load of BS, he could still hide them and then use the results on YOU. Having ED is more embarrassing when you don't do anything about it.

I suggest you take Tatsuhiko's advice.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I think he is telling the truth...


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> I think he is telling the truth...




LOL! Which version?

Okay, so I'll say it. This is one guy I'd like to see have the 'four hour mishap'. See if he calls his AP or his wife to take him to the hospital. 

My ex had Viagra too. I kept count of his 'hidden' stash. He wasn't using it with me. I divorced him for other reasons - he was a meth addicted sociopath, but I did find out later there was another woman, or women. 


Funny story about cheaters and hospitals. I was a surgical nurse, and was called by a urologist at 1 am on a Saturday for an emergency. A man had a Bic pen in his bladder. The woman accompanying him was not his wife. Once in the OR suite, we all noted that he had nice long nail marks all over his back (he was also wearing filthy white Hanes socks, but whatever.  ). He had asked the surgeon to talk to the woman waiting for him. I asked doc how that worked. His reply? 'I have no obligation to talk to her. This man has earned himself an overnight stay in the hospital, and I'll be contacting his wife'. 

Before the patient went under, doc asked what color pen it was. Black. Naively, I questioned the importance of that. Well, a red pen was going to make the surgery a bit more difficult with the blood we were going to encounter. 

I earned my money that night. 'Twas my only encounter with foreign objects in a bladder. I could start a thread about things we removed from the back side, however. 


OP, good luck to you. I hope you get the honest truth, so you can make a decision. Sorry for the side story, some topics send me down memory lane. 


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Mommame2 said:


> LOL! Which version?
> 
> Okay, so I'll say it. This is one guy I'd like to see have the 'four hour mishap'. See if he calls his AP or his wife to take him to the hospital.
> 
> ...


I hope you are wrong. :frown2:

Ya, never know! :surprise:


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So OP,
You’re saying you have not had sex with anyone in 5 years, certainly not your husband, and you find a bottle of ED pills in his truck that have clearly been used, but he hasn’t bothered to use them with YOU?

My take: He may or may not be cheating. Not enough info. It was filled back in December and there are pills left. That doesn’t speak of affair to me. If a man is having an affair, they’d be long since used up and more purchased.
Thing is, he may have attempted to cheat and they didn’t work good enough to impress the AP who then dumped him. Pure speculation.
However, what IS not speculation is that your husband CLAIMS to have gotten the pills to pleasure himself, but didn’t care enough to use them to help his wife’s needs.

Regardless of his explanation, you e got a right to be pissed.
I’d tell his lazy ass to get some ED pills and give you some sex, or he could find some other woman to put up with no sex.
He should make an effort to please you, even if it’s just orally.
A person needs some se. once in a while! Geez...


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

@Evinrude58

He could be getting refills and putting the new pills in the original bottle, so it looks like he hasn't used many.

Oh the tricks I learned from my ex. 


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> I think he is telling the truth...


Entirely possible. The date of the prescription is 1 week before Christmas. Perhaps that was to be your Christmas present. Was there an attempt around then? What happened around the Holidays? 

He used 6 pills in 6 months. If the pills worked and he was having a affair, he would have been on his 3rd or 4th prescription. If there is an affair, it is a pretty weak one (no pun intended). 

Question. Did the pills work? If they did, after 5 years of NO sex, you should be offended. Any other recent red flags?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Mommame2 said:


> @Evinrude58
> 
> He could be getting refills and putting the new pills in the original bottle, so it looks like he hasn't used many.
> 
> ...


You can fool Dad, often
You can fool Mom, once in a while.

You cannot fool TAM.

Well maybe once. 
Then it is recorded for all posterity. 
That trick is passe'

Try a new trick, Oh, fool them once again.

Good Luck with that...


You cannot fool the Paranoid on TAM... 
TAMster's fingers can type faster than any of your schemes can rapt, can unfold.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

h02venon69 said:


> Wow it's hard to trust someone when you had been hurt or betrayed. But for now all you can do is trust on his words and forget about what you saw or think you know. Trust him and start again. Trust me the truth always comes to light and if he is doing something sooner or later you will find out.... Than at the point you can decide what to do.... I hope this can help you. And good luck.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


SERIOUSLY?

Um, no....He is absolutely cheating. Trusting him after what you found and his ridiculous story is, well, ridiculous.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> No, not in car. Said he takes pill on drive home so ready when he takes shower. Yes, I love my husband. We have 3 sons and married for 25 years. I can’t think straight. I’m in shock or denial or both. I dont know


Perhaps just don't rush to any undoable actions or ultimatums. There's something awry but if you have 25 yrs of overcoming life together it might be ok if no one goes right to the extremes right away.

Some issues take a little percolating to get to the answer or answers. You both may end up closer together by the time this is over. Unless incontrovertible evidence he's cheating or being abusive he may be having a hard time communicating to you the real issue. Only you know the exact circumstances. 

Good luck.


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Mommame2 said:


> LOL! Which version?
> 
> Okay, so I'll say it. This is one guy I'd like to see have the 'four hour mishap'. See if he calls his AP or his wife to take him to the hospital.
> 
> ...


One of my questions was, “what the hell would you have done if the dreaded 4 hour side effect would have happened” His reply was that he would have needed to tell me and that I probably would have been pissed. I agreed and told him it wouldn’t have been a pleasant show for the emergency staff. I hope I get the truth, also. Even if the reason he has them is benign, he still lied by omission, was deceitful and told lies when confronted. I obviously feel like he has no interest in me sexually. So, at the very least there is a problem with our marriage. No worries about telling your story. It made me laugh. I’m still trying to understand who the hell would stick a bic pen up their penis 😂, but to each their own


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Mommame2 said:


> @Evinrude58
> 
> He could be getting refills and putting the new pills in the original bottle, so it looks like he hasn't used many.
> 
> ...


OMG! I didn’t think of that! I can check his RX history at pharmacy


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

TheBohannons said:


> Entirely possible. The date of the prescription is 1 week before Christmas. Perhaps that was to be your Christmas present. Was there an attempt around then? What happened around the Holidays?
> 
> He used 6 pills in 6 months. If the pills worked and he was having a affair, he would have been on his 3rd or 4th prescription. If there is an affair, it is a pretty weak one (no pun intended).
> 
> Question. Did the pills work? If they did, after 5 years of NO sex, you should be offended. Any other recent red flags?


I think the December date was just a coincidence. No attempt around Christmas and there wasn’t anything unusual around the holidays. I also can’t point to any other red flags. I asked if the pills worked...well, it was more like I was seething with anger when I said they obviously worked yet you weren’t compelled to say...hey honey guess what!?!? He says they sorta worked, but not to the extent that he thought he would be able to perform with me. Still, he should have told me. Being understanding and foregoing my needs for 5 years to spare his feelings should make me eligible for sainthood. I’m pissed that he didn’t consider my feelings like I have been considering his.


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> So OP,
> You’re saying you have not had sex with anyone in 5 years, certainly not your husband, and you find a bottle of ED pills in his truck that have clearly been used, but he hasn’t bothered to use them with YOU?
> 
> My take: He may or may not be cheating. Not enough info. It was filled back in December and there are pills left. That doesn’t speak of affair to me. If a man is having an affair, they’d be long since used up and more purchased.
> ...


I agree. Obviously, I’ve been more understanding than he deserved


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Don’t get too pissed yet. If I had ED, I’d want to experiment a little before I got the wife’s hopes up. 

It’s gotta be tough for a man not to be able to get it up and keep it up....

You are a loyal person for doing as you’ve done. I admire you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

He is cheating you out of marital intimacy and sexuality.

Whether he is doing that with another person or not remains to be seen.

Either way he is keeping his sex life secret and separate from you while you go without ......for years. 

This is a big problem whether there is another person involved or not.


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> Don’t get too pissed yet. If I had ED, I’d want to experiment a little before I got the wife’s hopes up.
> 
> It’s gotta be tough for a man not to be able to get it up and keep it up....
> 
> You are a loyal person for doing as you’ve done. I admire you.


Thank you. I’m trying not to be too pissed. Very difficult tho when you feel betrayed, deceived, hurt, unimportant, lied to...


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> He is cheating you out of marital intimacy and sexuality.
> 
> Whether he is doing that with another person or not remains to be seen.
> 
> ...


Yes, I told him this


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## pbj2016 (May 7, 2017)

Evinrude58 said:


> Don’t get too pissed yet. If I had ED, I’d want to experiment a little before I got the wife’s hopes up.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Since Christmas? If his wife was at all important to him he’d be telling her the day the “experiment” worked. The reality is his hand (or his AF) is more sexually satisfying to him than his wife. As his long term partner, she has a right to demand answers. Having ED is not an excuse to stop all sexual intimacy.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> Thank you. I’m trying not to be too pissed. Very difficult tho when you feel betrayed, deceived, hurt, unimportant, lied to...


I don't think it is fair for people to tell you not to be upset and angry/betrayed etc. I think you are perfectly in your right to blow the roof off the house.

Even if he is only using it to spank, he is still denying you intimacy while taking care of himself.

IMHO you have perfectly just cause to draw a line in the sand and demand that he either work with you to establish an acceptable marital love life or walk away. 

That is even if he is using it to spank and there aren't any other women.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

TheBohannons said:


> The date of the prescription is 1 week before Christmas. Perhaps that was to be your Christmas present.


The gift that keeps on giving!


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I think people on TAM are way to quick to assume cheating. In this case, I think they're right. Anything else seems like a stretch. I think the advice of feigning trust but going into investigator mode is a good one.


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> One of my questions was, “what the hell would you have done if the dreaded 4 hour side effect would have happened” His reply was that he would have needed to tell me and that I probably would have been pissed. I agreed and told him it wouldn’t have been a pleasant show for the emergency staff. I hope I get the truth, also. Even if the reason he has them is benign, he still lied by omission, was deceitful and told lies when confronted. I obviously feel like he has no interest in me sexually. So, at the very least there is a problem with our marriage. No worries about telling your story. It made me laugh. I’m still trying to understand who the hell would stick a bic pen up their penis , but to each their own




Ideally, he should have had a heart to heart with you, and used the drug with you, especially since he's been open about his ED. There are other side effects; I knew one guy who got a headache and stuffy nose. But if he ended up in the ER, he could run into a crusty urologist who is training a young sexy thing on where exactly to place the 'deflation needle'. Would serve him right. 


What is your spouse for, but to be supportive, understanding, and help each other through these things? 


On that side note, I gotta wonder if they thought the Bic pin would act as a stiffener (epic failure, a dowel rod might have been better!) He's really lucky it didn't pierce his bladder wall; we'd have had to open him up, and that's a bloody mess! We were able to bring it out the same way it went in, but not without damage. 

Moral: only insert things that have a method of retrieval, like a string, or a larger end that's can't make it thru the orifice. As for pens, stick with black or blue. 

Glad I could give you a chuckle. I'll write my thread someday - think light bulbs and rectums. 

Again, I've been where you are. Hang in there, the truth emerges eventually. 


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Mommame2 said:


> Ideally, he should have had a heart to heart with you, and used the drug with you, especially since he's been open about his ED. There are other side effects; I knew one guy who got a headache and stuffy nose. But if he ended up in the ER, he could run into a crusty urologist who is training a young sexy thing on where exactly to place the 'deflation needle'. Would serve him right.
> 
> 
> What is your spouse for, but to be supportive, understanding, and help each other through these things?
> ...


Lol. I wondered if the idea was a stiffener 🤣. I can only imagine what items have been removed from the other opening 🙄. If you want to do these things, fine, it’s your body. Who am I to judge? But for the love of all that is holy....have a plan of escape!


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> Lol. I wondered if the idea was a stiffener 🤣. I can only imagine what items have been removed from the other opening . If you want to do these things, fine, it’s your body. Who am I to judge? But for the love of all that is holy....have a plan of escape!




I love your sense of humor! Light bulbs, Coke bottles, yep. You know there are online sites where you can buy appropriate stuff! 

Oh god, another one just came to me. We took a pink dildo out of a guy once. He came to the hospital a few days later wanting it back!

Okay, I'm rolling now. On the floor. 


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Mommame2 said:


> I love your sense of humor! Light bulbs, Coke bottles, yep. You know there are online sites where you can buy appropriate stuff!
> 
> Oh god, another one just came to me. We took a pink dildo out of a guy once. He came to the hospital a few days later wanting it back!
> 
> ...


LMAO 😂🤣😂. Thanks for cheering me up


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> LMAO 🤣. Thanks for cheering me up




Let me know what more you need, I'm 56, we can probably relate. 


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Okay this is ridiculous. So he has ED and can't get it up for sex. But can get it up for masturbation. Now I am not a doctor but ED has biological and mental factors. Usually biological factors mean little peter doesn't work. meaning more than likely his ED is not biological. 

So if little peter is functional now. What that hell happened the last 5 years. If I were you I would not stop pursuing this. I mean my money is he's cheating but in my mind the dots are pointing towards him swinging for the other team. Drag him to the doctor and have the dr say he has biological causes for ED. If the doc says little peter is a fully functional peter. Then what's peter been playing with for the last 5 years.


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

badbane said:


> Okay this is ridiculous. So he has ED and can't get it up for sex. But can get it up for masturbation. Now I am not a doctor but ED has biological and mental factors. Usually biological factors mean little peter doesn't work. meaning more than likely his ED is not biological.
> 
> So if little peter is functional now. What that hell happened the last 5 years. If I were you I would not stop pursuing this. I mean my money is he's cheating but in my mind the dots are pointing towards him swinging for the other team. Drag him to the doctor and have the dr say he has biological causes for ED. If the doc says little peter is a fully functional peter. Then what's peter been playing with for the last 5 years.


The ED was the result of medications for a couple of health issues that occurred over the past 5 years. Due to lifestyle changes and medical intervention he was able to eliminate the majority of these meds over the past 18 months. Our thought was that the ED would reverse, but he reported that it hadn’t. Based on recent information, I’m skeptical that it didn’t reverse. He says the ED meds I found were only about 50% effective. I seriously doubt he’s messing around with men, but regardless, man..woman..affair with himself...it doesn’t matter. He is cheating me in one form or another. He’s betrayed me and I’ve lost a tremendous amount of trust in him.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Could you explain what 50% effective means?


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> Could you explain what 50% effective means?


Not fully hard


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Mommame2 said:


> I love your sense of humor! Light bulbs, Coke bottles, yep. You know there are online sites where you can buy appropriate stuff!
> 
> Oh god, another one just came to me. We took a pink dildo out of a guy once. He came to the hospital a few days later wanting it back!
> 
> ...


Was the light bulb still in one piece???

And I hope the guy got his dildo back!!! Surprised he left without it in the first place! Do you just put that stuff in Lost and Found - along with scarves and umbrellas???


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## flower36 (Sep 15, 2017)

Araucaria said:


> He is masturbating in the car? That is just creepy, if it is even the truth.
> 
> Your guy is in trouble, whatever the real story is. Most likely, he is cheating, which is worse than his lame stories.
> 
> ...


I am sharing your opinion, I think a guy is in trouble...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

nice777guy said:


> Was the light bulb still in one piece???
> 
> And I hope the guy got his dildo back!!! Surprised he left without it in the first place! Do you just put that stuff in Lost and Found - along with scarves and umbrellas???


This reminds me of the “ass box” episode of Scrubs.

And there was actually a separate episode involving a guy with a light bulb stuck in his butt...

“...either the kid's got a lightbulb up his butt, or his colon's got a great idea.”

Dr. Cox, while looking at an X-ray of said patient


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## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

nice777guy said:


> Was the light bulb still in one piece???
> 
> 
> 
> And I hope the guy got his dildo back!!! Surprised he left without it in the first place! Do you just put that stuff in Lost and Found - along with scarves and umbrellas???




I wasn't in on the light bulb fiasco, so don't know, but..... items removed from patients go to the pathology lab. Where they go from there, I haven't a clue.

The guy probably got a bill from path! 

This wasn't OR related, but we had a woman who couldn't find her dentures. They were buried in some serious abdominal fat folds. 

This is a great trip down memory lane for me! 


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## Suspicious and hurt (May 22, 2018)

Mommame2 said:


> I wasn't in on the light bulb fiasco, so don't know, but..... items removed from patients go to the pathology lab. Where they go from there, I haven't a clue.
> 
> The guy probably got a bill from path!
> 
> ...


OMG! I will never complain about my slightly tubby belly again 🤣


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met with changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masturbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59


*If you're remotely giving in to believing that "co€k and bull" story of his, then I'd be rather happy to sell you both Hoover Dam and Lake Powell for the severely discounted price of say, 50 cents!

Unless you've been the personal recipient and end user of the erectile results that come out of that prescription bottle, I'd have to say that he is lying his a$$ off! You do the math as to who's cheating who!

Adolescent juveniles who are chronic liars can come up with better, believable stories than that!*


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> .....Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. *The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. *
> 
> 
> ......Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, *why be embarrassed now?* *Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. *He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. *So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masturbation*.
> ...


OK I want you to read the following really carefully. Then I want you to re-read #5 several times. Next listen to what your husband told you. He said he is embarrassed, it didn't work before, he has used 6 of the 8 pills masturbating to try to get things working for the two of you. 

Now print the list of ten things out, go apologize to your H, ask his forgiveness, tell him you believe him and want to work with him and be part of his sex life.

Good luck.





> 10 tips to use sildenafil (aka Viagra) effectively
> 
> A set of instructions should be given to patients on sildenafil:
> 
> ...


http://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-...ctively-k0215/


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## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

Very likely he's cheating on you or... seeing if the pill is working. However he knows that you know that he has ED... so I'm not sure why he would hide the pills.


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## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

I'm 70yo and friends my age have shared their and (others) ED stories/experiences. Unless you know something negative about his past etc, I lean toward believing him. You can't believe how humiliating it is for a man with ED. Guys go to extremes like injecting themself in the penis, using pumps, and $800 hormone injections in the butt. So I can believe he was trying to find a solution behind your back (because he can't stand to disappoint you once again ... frankly every time he tries and fails he probably wants to shoot himself). His feeling of shame and humiliation could easily come across as a guy cheating. Whether he's cheating or whether you think this is some major dishonesty and breech of trust .... well that's for you to decide based on what you know about your husband. Wish you guys the best!


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## Ketiara (Jun 5, 2018)

Obviously the only one who really knows is him, but my gut doesn't scream "cheater". These pills don't work like magic - you don't pop it 30 mins before wanting to have sex and voila! You're hard! Sometimes they work, sometimes not at all. If it had worked like magic and he was using it on someone else, he'd have gone through a lot more than 6 pills (as someone else mentioned).

It makes sense to me that he might have tried it HOPING it would work, tried masturbating with it, perhaps tried a few times, perhaps didn't get the results he wanted so he never "brought it home" to you because he didn't want to get both your hopes up only to have it not work.

When asked about it, of course he should have ideally come clean with the whole truth. But when you're embarrassed about something, especially when you're caught off guard with questions, it's human nature to make something up. Not ideal, maybe, but not necessarily an indication he's cheating.

Just my .02.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met with changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masturbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59



Now you know he can do something when using meds, Just tell him the program is now on and he should use his meds like twice per week with you.


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## PaulB (Jun 26, 2018)

Araucaria said:


> He is masturbating in the car? That is just creepy, if it is even the truth.


Like we all haven't done that from time to time...:grin2:
(j/k)

Seriously, though. If he legit has serious issues with ED, maybe he uses them to be able to masturbate. For a man, masturbation has none of the pressures being with a person presents, or the depth of emotional disappointments when Mr. Happy Time duds out. Some guys use condoms to masturbate. How does it look if their wives find a secret stash of rubbers or an empty condom wrapper hidden in the garbage? Maybe he is cheating. I have no idea, but he also could be using the pills for masturbation. I don't think those of us who either don't have a penis or haven't suffered from true ED can begin to understand how losing the ability to get erections and please a partner (and himself) can damage a man psychologically and emotionally. The post above regarding your H "practicing" with the pills to get acclimated is a valid option.

Again, maybe he's been banging his secretary for six years. I dunno.

But, if the guy has a legit medical condition of severe ED, it seems unlikely he would try having sex with a new partner. Too much pressure. If my **** doesn't work correctly anymore, what confidence would I have trying to snag someone new? I've had a pretty slender, athletic body most of my life. I've aged well too. However, several years into a new marriage and a new baby, I have stopped exercising and have gained 10-15 pounds in addition to looking not very toned like I once did. My wife will sometimes make a dumb playful joke about me fooling around if I run out on errands or something. She tells me that I look good, but I honestly hate how I feel about myself now that I have gotten out of shape. Even if I was interested in exploring the options of cheating, I don't have the self confidence for it. (Unless the other woman wants me to keep my shirt on.) I can't imagine the utter lack of confidence and interest I would have in infidelity if I suffered from ED.

I don't know what goes on in a woman's head when she cheats or just tries to get a new partner. I've never cheated, but I think a part of having sex with someone new for men has this side to it of proving to the women and to themselves that "I've still got it." "I'm the man."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it. If he hadn't been battling ED before all of this, I would guess he may be cheating.

Now, in saying that I don't think he is having an affair, I suppose it is possible he is popping a pill before going to get a rub-n-a-tug massage. That would not have any of the same pressures and anxiety and disappointments of an actual affair. It's still cheating, but a handjob from a stranger is on a different level from a performance pressure standpoint than sex with someone.

Anyway, if he was really wanting to hide the pills from you why didn't he put them in a vitamin bottle instead of keeping a prescription bottle around?


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## Marriednatlanta (Sep 21, 2016)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me. I confronted him. I was met with changing explanations. First he acted like it was no big deal and treated me like I was ridiculous. Then he played dumb as to how long ago he got the script. Then he told me he thought we would try them on our vaca this past March and that’s why he had them. He never told me he had them while on vaca, he never tried anything with me and besides, I’m pretty confident he didn’t even bring them on vaca. Then he said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to have them. He wasn’t embarrassed 5 years ago when he tried them and I knew about it and he hasn’t been embarrassed about being impotent for the past 5 years so, why be embarrassed now? Then he told me that he takes them after work on nights he knows he will have private time with himself. He insists that is why he keeps them in his car and not in the house. He keeps all his other meds in the house. So, his final explanation is that he uses them for masturbation. I feel betrayed, hurt and very suspicious. For the past 5 years I have been sensitive and understanding that he has ED. I haven’t pushed the issue because I didn’t want to upset him. Now, I find that he selfishly has fixed the problem only to pleasure himself. At least, that’s his story. He apologized profusely for keeping this from me and insists that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. Needless to say, I’m having a very difficult time trusting a damn word he says. I’m 55, he’s 59


Wait...how many lies were there...I lost track. Call a spade a spade.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Yah....he's cheating

You have to be so deep in the denial and bro-protection club that you can't breathe to actually twist his story into believable.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Suspicious and hurt said:


> My husband suffers from ED. We have not been intimate in 5 years. Early on, he tried meds, but they didn’t work. Last night, I came across a prescription of ED meds in his car. The script was for 8 pills filled in 12/17 and there are 2 left. He did not tell me he had this script nor has he initiated sex with me.


That's all I needed to read to compute a 99% probability that he is cheating on you.


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