# First Time Sex



## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I was wondering if it's common for first time sex to be great for the woman? I'm talking about the first time between any two given people, not first time ever. 

Reason being, I always thought first times for women was kinda meh, or they didn't expect much. But my wife and I had great sex the first time. I'm just curious how common that is in general.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't think there can even be an answer to this question. 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One but the bulb has to want to change.

For a woman to have a good sexual experience she has to be focused on what's happening without anxiety over what he might be thinking or how big her butt looks and she has to be totally aroused and confident enough to direct her partner on how to get her there. None of this things are highly likely, IMO, during a first time encounter with young women.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Yes, it's possible. I had several boyfriends in college - I was serially monogamous. I wouldn't say I was a slvt - I can count how many I slept with on one hand, and that was over four years. I had a meh first time with two of them (and they were the two I was the most into, strangely enough - like I thought each of them was The One into), a really good time with another one of them (and I ended up seeing him for several more months), and a great time with the last one, who I met on the first day of Senior Week - we went our separate ways at the end of it with no hard feelings on either part. He was just really enthusiastic, without being crazy, and highly skilled. It helped that he was a great kisser. And very attractive.

My first time with my now ex husband was good, but there were no super-passionate sparks. It was just - nice. That should have maybe been a red flag, but I'd been with a guy for six months, six months prior to meeting him, who'd really broken my heart by telling me he loved me for the first time (without me saying it first) on a Saturday morning, that he was going to go home and shower and change clothes and then spend the rest of the weekend with me, and then ghosted me for the rest of the weekend and broke up with me because an old college girlfriend showed up in town later that same Saturday and looked him up. I really know how to pick 'em.

But I digress. Back to the point, yes, if the chemistry, enthusiasm, and skill level is right, it can be great the first time you get together with someone. Maybe it helps to not have great expectations. I didn't with that Senior Week fling. I just kind of went with it. Sigh. I could use somebody like him right now.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon summed it up.

I have turned some women into drooling, squirting idiots who appear to be having seizures the very first time with them.

First time with Mrs. Conan was pretty awkward and uncomfortable with no climax from her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## minebeloved (Nov 7, 2013)

Can first time virgin sex be good? All I hear all the time is how painful it is. I think I heard only 2 times that is was a good experience. Most of the time they say it's really painful... currently thinking of becoming a nun.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I Don't Know said:


> I was wondering if it's common for first time sex to be great for the woman? I'm talking about the first time between any two given people, not first time ever.


I don't know if it's common, but the first time my long-term SO and I had sex together, it was mind-blowing. There was a sexual tension in the air that was palpable. (By the way, that intensity has not lessened ONE BIT in nearly five years.) 



I Don't Know said:


> Reason being, *I always thought first times for women was kinda meh, or they didn't expect much.* But my wife and I had great sex the first time. I'm just curious how common that is in general.


Why on earth would you come to this conclusion? That women just expect "meh"... 

Glad you and your wife had/have great sex! There's nothing like it!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

minebeloved said:


> Can first time virgin sex be good? All I hear all the time is how painful it is. I think I heard only 2 times that is was a good experience. Most of the time they say it's really painful... currently thinking of becoming a nun.


He's not talking about "virgin" sex. He clearly stated, "Not the first time EVER; rather the first time between two individuals."

You go, OP!!


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## minebeloved (Nov 7, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> He's not talking about "virgin" sex. He clearly stated, "Not the first time EVER; rather the first time between two individuals."
> 
> You go, OP!!


I know what he said...i guess I was just asking a personal question.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

minebeloved said:


> Can first time virgin sex be good? All I hear all the time is how painful it is. I think I heard only 2 times that is was a good experience. Most of the time they say it's really painful... currently thinking of becoming a nun.


I know one woman who had an orgasm and totally enjoyed her first sexual intercourse. But that isn't common. 

The older a young woman is the thinner her hymen becomes. By her twenties it's barely even there unless she has an unusually thick hymen. AND with today's girls and women highly involved in sports, they've probably already torn away or very much thinned out the hymen. 

The rule of thumb is, if you can comfortable insert a super tampon, you're good to go in terms of first intercourse not hurting.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

What Anon Pink said. I was 18 for my very first time, and had been with the same boyfriend in every other way imaginable for three years. It was painful, but not excruciating. As in, when I think of the most physically painful experiences of my life, it's not even in the top five. It's good if you can be with someone who really knows and loves you (and who you really love), but even then, it can be awkward because you're doing something you've never done before. What's good about it being with someone who really knows and loves you and who you really love is that you'll keep doing it with them, and it'll get better and better.


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## minebeloved (Nov 7, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> What Anon Pink said. I was 18 for my very first time, and had been with the same boyfriend in every other way imaginable for three years. It was painful, but not excruciating. As in, when I think of the most physically painful experiences of my life, it's not even in the top five. It's good if you can be with someone who really knows and loves you (and who you really love), but even then, it can be awkward because you're doing something you've never done before. What's good about it being with someone who really knows and loves you and who you really love is that you'll keep doing it with them, and it'll get better and better.


thanks no more beans.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Nomorebeans said:


> What Anon Pink said. I was 18 for my very first time, and had been with the same boyfriend in every other way imaginable for three years.  It was painful, but not excruciating. As in, when I think of the most physically painful experiences of my life, it's not even in the top five. It's good if you can be with someone who really knows and loves you (and who you really love), but even then, it can be awkward because you're doing something you've never done before. What's good about it being with someone who really knows and loves you and who you really love is that you'll keep doing it with them, and it'll get better and better.


I agree with this. Not as painful as tonsilitis, a migraine headache or a strained rib from bronchitis . (Trying to think of all of the times I've been in pain lol). It's a "good" kind of pain, too, because of what it represents (love, hopefully  ). 

I know of 3 people for whom sex has always been very painful, but they are very much the exception to the rule and work with doctors about it.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> Why on earth would you come to this conclusion? That women just expect "meh"...
> 
> Glad you and your wife had/have great sex! There's nothing like it!


I'm not sure where I first got that idea, but I know it's something I've believed for a while. Recently I've been listening to some pod casts about sex and relationships. Of the women who have commented one way or the other, I don't think I've heard one say that the first time is usually good for them. Most say it's not that good the first time but gets better. 

Happy, just want to say I love that you are happy now! Rock on!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I remember being in college and studying statistics that most women can not orgasm through PIV alone, and I was devastated as porn had incorrectly taught me that women could pretty much be brought to orgasm with almost anything like serving them a hot dog with your John Thomas stuck in the bun, or simply by walking in a room and slinging your underwear off before taking off your boots. Then I learned that all the women in porn were faking it and were only enthusiastic about it because it was a job. I was heart broken and thought that life would just suck...

All the girlfriends I had in college were virgins, and sex was awkward. Almost exactly the awkwardness on the episode of mythbusters where they try to ride bicycles underwater. Seems like it would be easy, but it was a challenge to get everything going without falling all over the place.










Then I met this girl that drove me crazy, she was a virgin as well, and she actually had an orgasm the very first time with only PIV. I married her and have not ever looked back or anywhere else!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Nomorebeans said:


> What Anon Pink said. I was 18 for my very first time, and had been with the same boyfriend in every other way imaginable for three years. It was painful, but not excruciating. As in, when I think of the most physically painful experiences of my life, it's not even in the top five. It's good if you can be with someone who really knows and loves you (and who you really love), but even then, it can be awkward because you're doing something you've never done before. What's good about it being with someone who really knows and loves you and who you really love is that you'll keep doing it with them, and it'll get better and better.


I had sex for the first time ever at age 20 with my husband(we were dating at the time) and honestly it did not hurt at all. I felt maybe a little sore after, but it wasn't really noticeable. I have used tampons since I started my period at age 12 and played almost every sport imaginable(soccer, volleyball, basketball, track, swimming, etc.), which may have been a big factor there for that. 

The sex was a bit awkward since it was my first time and our first time together, but we both really enjoyed it. I had a great first time with him and it has only gotten better over time. It just keeps getting better and better.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

My first time was very painful. And I was on the ballroom dance team at my high school for 4 years before that. In fact it took 3 different occasions before penetration was achieved. It gradually got less painful over the first 5 times or so and I haven't had any issues since. 

I haven't had any other partners so I can't speak to just first time with a particular person.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

My wife and my first time was one of the greatest experiences of my life and is permanently etched into my mind. My wife doesn't remember it.


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