# Plan A and Plan B



## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I was just reading on marriagebuilders.com about Plan A and Plan B on how to restore your marriage when an affair destroys it. 

Is there anything on this site(I could not find it at least) where the wayward spouse simply denies the affair(despite all evidence) and any plan on how to attack that situation(other than exposing it to friends and family)?

Some of you already know my story of a husband who cheated, got caught, overwhelming evidence, denies the whole thing, and HE filed for divorce. I am not keeping my hopes too high on reconcilling with him considering his present behaviour but I am staying positive on being happy with or without him or with someone else. I was more curious if there is help for these stubborn cheaters.


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

> Is there anything on this site(I could not find it at least) where the wayward spouse simply denies the affair(despite all evidence) and any plan on how to attack that situation(other than exposing it to friends and family)?


By using Plan A and Plan B. Very simple. You keep trying to find a magic way to make your husband return to your marriage. Even more to the point: you are trying to find a way to make him admit he had an affair. 

That is both completely irrelevant, and a huge waste of your time. _*It doesn't matter one bit if he admits it or not!*_ His admission is not proof of the affair. It doesn't make what you know true or false. It is irrelevant. You know the affair is going on, and that he is doing what he can to make it continue.

You cannot MAKE another person do ANYTHING! Ever! Even if you put a gun to their head and ask for all their money, the are still free to refuse! You can't make anyone do anything.

As we have posted many, many times, there are specific steps to handling an affair, and recovering the marriage. Exposure is ONE STEP, and there are others.

NONE of those steps GUARANTEE that your spouse will return. But they ARE proven ways of increasing 'the chance' that your marriage will recover. Your job is to stick to them until you cannot any more. If your husband divorces you, the affair is over, the marriage is over, and things will take a new path.

And if you keep doing the things you know are right - _regardless of outcome_ you will have the knowledge that you did right, and the joy of knowing that.

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