# Best friend at wits end over in law drama



## Marcis74 (Nov 30, 2011)

Hello

I have a friend who's marriage has been shaky since the day one, when he forgot to get organized for his wedding. I was supposed to be his best man for the day. I couldn't get any idea of when the wedding was supposed to be held. We never did anything towards getting it organized. It was no surprise to me when the bride called the whole thing off. 

He is of Italian background and his parents took extreme offense to the daughter in law and put her though no end of misery. In the end after threats to kill were made on the bride and the brides family they had to cancel the wedding and get married in the Melbourne registry office. She has never forgiven him, for this as she spent quite a lot of money on the day, and feels that he was well aware that they would cause trouble. It was no surprise to any of us when the in-laws did.

I ended up having a "buck night" for him two weeks after they eventually did the registry office wedding and we (my wife and I) did a cake for the wife. To our surprise because we thought it was supposed to be a joyous occasion she just burst into tears, abused him and hitchhiked home. The wife feels terribly humiliated by the whole thing.

My friend said that his bride cried and abused him all day of the 'wedding' and it was a month before the marriage was eventually consummated. There was no honeymoon. She left the day after the 'wedding" only to be coxed back with the promise that the wedding would take place on the first wedding anniversary. Off course on the first wedding anniversary he just forgot about it. she went and got ready......Thinking it was a surprise ...then found out he hadn't organized anything.........

She has genuinely tried to keep the marriage together. Always does things for his birthday, is really big on Christmas and other family events. She has been asking him to fix it every day since the first wedding anniversary, gets quite abusive when he doesn't respond and has given him an ultimate of five years before she leaves.

He has never organized anything for her, they haven't even celebrated their wedding anniversary. When his brother got married, he told her that he was on an army reserve camp. He has lied so he can go to the wedding. She went and got her hair cut, walking into the hair dresses just as the bridal party where having their hair done........She was seven months pregnant at the time.

Then they had a child together, the bride tells me outright she did it because she thought they would have a 'romantic' occasion together. The husband went and got his parents who just overwhelmed the mother. He didn't even go to the hospital with her instead sent his mother in the next day to see her and find out what happened. Certainly he had never brought her a present for that day or for any birthdays, mothers day, anything. He made her go back to work six months after the baby was born even though it was clearly apparent that the wife was suffering terribly from post natal depression. His response to the depression was to beat her. 

Finally the bride gave him the ultimatum the family or her. he threw the family out. and they settled down and had another child. The bride had now had her third child. But now with her working full time, they don't do anything together because the husband "forgets" and the wound of the wedding hasn't healed. 

The bride has been putting aside money to pay for a second wedding. With the groom reluctant to do anything she has gone and brought tickets for Fiji and plans to travel there with her three children. 

She has given my friend the ultimate 'give me a wedding on the beach or we divorce'. The anniversary for the five years is the date of the beach side wedding, in two months time. 

My friend who has his ticket paid for is refusing to get on the plane. 

I completely sympathize with the bride although I think she was foolish to have children with this man with the marriage so shaky. The in-laws are overbearing and have made a complete mess of this family. They have even got into me on a number of occasions. No one wants anything to do with my friend when his parents are around. I have seen them ring Christmas day with the demand that the husband go and feed cows even though her family and friends are there having Christmas lunch. He still runs after the in-laws, although he wont have them in his house. 



I don't want to hear about it anymore. I can't see what the problem is. the wife works full time, keeps an immaculate house and is only asking for a celebration. If he doesn't start looking after her, someone else is. 

The husband who is my friend clearly can't see how selfish he is. 


The groom continually thinks its some great big plot against him. 

The problem is, if the groom continues down this path he is going to end up divorced, paying child support. 

what do I do?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Advise the bride to go have a wonderful holiday with her children. While she's on the holiday she can have her attorney serve her husband divorce papers.

Why she would want to continue this marriage with a man who has no intention of giving her any love or support is beyond me.

Perhaps the shock of the her going without him and the divorce papers might wake him up. But I doubt i.


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## Marcis74 (Nov 30, 2011)

I have just closed the door in my friends face and now he is accusing me of having an affair with his wife. I can't listen to it any more. He just doesn't see how selfish he been. 

My wife I and know he is going to be devastated but I now think he's addicted to the drama. 

His wife is busy getting organised. To quote my wife "she is fully prepared for him to let her down once again. The resort have organised a proxy husband to stand in for her on the day of the wedding that's how much confidence she has that he will turn up. She has been to a divorce lawyer and will be filing the day she flys back home if he doesn't turn up."


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is she really going to go through with a wedding even if there is no groom.. LOL

It does sound like a divorce is her only option at this time. Her life will most likely be better for it.


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