# Nasty voice and wife's irritation



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

My wife retired. I agreed to continue working on one condition, since I would have a good deal of stress and pressure at the job,, 
she would not give me a hard time when home. Tonight we came back from a trip and I lost my mouse and had to borrow her's for work, and when I tried to replace it broke. No big deal. She got the nasty voice, and I told her we could resolve whatever issues arose in a calm and constructive fashion. She said she was mad because she needed it and I noted that it could be replaced and causing me stress does not resolve things. Again, she has all day to relax, vacation, trips, etc, and working 6 days a work, I simply request, no demand, that I be treated nicely while I am home. If something is needed, it can be done or addressed in a nice fashion. :frown2:


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

You can’t control what your wife will do. You can only choose how you will react to what she does.
It seems that you’re feeling obliged to work. Is that the case? If you are only working because your wife wants a certain lifestyle, you’re going to become resentful.
Small issues such as borrowing/breaking a mouse should not be such a big deal. The fact that it is suggests an underlying issue.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Bobby5000 said:


> My wife retired. I agreed to continue working on one condition, since I would have a good deal of stress and pressure at the job,,
> she would not give me a hard time when home. Tonight we came back from a trip and I lost my mouse and had to borrow her's for work, and when I tried to replace it broke. No big deal. She got the nasty voice, and I told her we could resolve whatever issues arose in a calm and constructive fashion. She said she was mad because she needed it and I noted that it could be replaced and causing me stress does not resolve things. Again, she has all day to relax, vacation, trips, etc, and working 6 days a work, I simply request, no demand, that I be treated nicely while I am home. If something is needed, it can be done or addressed in a nice fashion. :frown2:


Buddy come down from the cross.Everything can’t be rosy all the time,people have bad days you know.
So your wife got annoyed when you lost one mouse and then broke hers,it’s not really a divorce situation is it?
Take a chill pill dude.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Maybe there is more to the story. Is your wife speaking nastily to you over small issues a chronic problem?

How is the rest of the relationship?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Three mouse ran up the clock.....no, she ran out the clock with her spiel.
The clock struck One...... You.
Hickory, Dikory, Dock!.......

Translation:
Give me a drink, Hick!...
She wants from me, no Dikory....
In the Dock, before the Magistrate, the Missus getting me straight-off, ticked off, no dikory, [no squat, no on-back prone], only tick-tocked off.

What is it with women?
I know, I know..

God gave men muscles and shortsightedness to wage war against humanity.
God gave women a well muscled, sharp, acid tongue and farsightedness to lay these would-be warriors flat on their cracked behind.

The Martian- having an up-armored derriere. Ass in English.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Maybe there is more to the story. Is your wife speaking nastily to you over small issues a chronic problem?
> 
> How is the rest of the relationship?


Ah, Yes, the 'rest' of the relationship shapes, forms small-issue delivery.

Livvie knows....
she is trained.

Men cannot be trained....
Only re-strained.

Especially a Martian.
maybe SunCMars.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Bobby5000 said:


> My wife retired. I agreed to continue working on one condition, since I would have a good deal of stress and pressure at the job,,
> she would not give me a hard time when home. Tonight we came back from a trip and I lost my mouse and had to borrow her's for work, and when I tried to replace it broke. No big deal. She got the nasty voice, and I told her we could resolve whatever issues arose in a calm and constructive fashion. She said she was mad because she needed it and I noted that it could be replaced and causing me stress does not resolve things. Again, she has all day to relax, vacation, trips, etc, and working 6 days a work, I simply request, no demand, that I be treated nicely while I am home. If something is needed, it can be done or addressed in a nice fashion. :frown2:


Bobby, I did this. Worked until I was near sixty nine....
Kept me busy...
Out of the line of fire.

But the day always arrives when the old dog must come home.
Sit at the hearth, listen to the heartburn, the aches and pains, of his spouse.
And find out that all, everything....is his fault.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Women NEVER get to retire.

We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.

When YOU retire, you'll spend most of your days doing what you like. I *highly* doubt you'll split the chores 50/50. She'll be stuck doing them til the day she dies while you're sitting in your recliner dozing.

Unless you're paying someone to come in and do everything I mentioned above, then she's NOT going on vacations and having parties all day. Pfffft.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Women NEVER get to retire.
> 
> We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.
> 
> ...


This isn't necessarily true. My parents have been married for 56 years. My mother is the one who had been pampered her whole life. My dad has always done all of the yard work, car maintenance, all of their finances, and 80% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping. The only thing my mom has consistently done is laundry...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

What’s a mouse? Can you find it again if you put out some cheese?
Yeah you can’t buy your way out of nagging by working hard and playing the stress card etc...It’s the same reason there’s absolutely no point saying all these vowels when getting married. Pointless. Useless vowels.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Chisox (Dec 24, 2017)

It depends, is that the only time your wife did that all day, maybe its a slip up. Is she doing that once a day or more? If that is all she did all day, I would let it go, forgive, and move on. If its a constant pattern of doing this more that a few times a day, it could be a way to say she is angry with you about something else. Thats when you csn confront her and ask her whats wrong. If I had to guess, she doesnt mean much by this.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Women NEVER get to retire.
> 
> We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.
> 
> ...


God, sometimes I wish I lived in the world you paint. Would be a hell of a lot easier and nicer than the one I live in.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

"We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores." But a lot of this is because of what women think is important, not what the man wants. My wife will take an hour and an half to make a fancy dinner but that's not necessary as I can pick something up, I just want her not to annoy me after a tough day supporting her. Don't aggravate me, that's all I asked when she retired, explaining that my job frequently requires 60 hours of stress per week and I did not or could not deal with more when I got home.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

"You can’t control what your wife will do. You can only choose how you will react to what she does." Nope I can tell her fine, you need to aggravate me or talk nasty, fine, I will stop working or you can begin.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Bobby5000 said:


> "We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores." But a lot of this is because of what women think is important, not what the man wants. My wife will take an hour and an half to make a fancy dinner but that's not necessary as I can pick something up, I just want her not to annoy me after a tough day supporting her. Don't aggravate me, that's all I asked when she retired, explaining that my job frequently requires 60 hours of stress per week and I did not or could not deal with more when I got home.


IF you are working for 60 hours a week then how about looking for another job where you can work the normal full
time hours of say 35-40?
Are you near retirement age?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Women NEVER get to retire.
> 
> We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.
> 
> ...




- I do my own cooking and make extra food for Mrs.CuddleBug, do the whites and darks after work, grocery shop every Saturday morning, run and empty the dishwasher before I go to work, recycle and take out the garbage almost every second day.....AND I work full time. Mrs.CuddleBug also works full time but does nothing extra in comparison.....when I retire, I will probably continue doing the same.


- Only time when the woman was doing the extra daily tasks and chores like I do, was my mom and dad worked all day, but this is 2018 and not 1960's.


- I will find some hobbies to do and I hope Mrs.CuddleBug will do the same.:smile2:


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Women NEVER get to retire.
> 
> We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.
> 
> ...


In our home he works a high pressure white collar job and I work maybe 4 or 5 hours a *week *at my computer at home. He has a minimum of 2 hours commute per day, I have zero.
We have a tribe of able bodied young people here that do their own laundry and help with chores.

I do the laundry for MrH and I but apart from that we share everything else, cooking, cleaning, shopping, gardening etc, if anything he does more than me and that is on top of our very uneven work hours.

Not every household is like yours.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

No real job is only 35 or 40 hours a week. Maybe part time janitorial work? The average, average, full time job is 47 hours a week. The better the job the more hours it demands. Once you have a company phone and your computer is open all the time you are working 24/7. How do you quantify your hours then?

It is highly unlikely someone near retirement age is going to bother looking for a different job than the one they have, which is probably much more lucrative than anything else they would find.

And just what is retirement age?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Livvie said:


> This isn't necessarily true. My parents have been married for 56 years. My mother is the one who had been pampered her whole life. My dad has always done all of the yard work, car maintenance, all of their finances, and 80% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping. The only thing my mom has consistently done is laundry...


My parents relationship as well. My mother can’t even cook. I also cook 90% of the time and learned from my father. Some people need to get their heads into this century already.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Hey now, take it easy.

We all know @She'sStillGotIt is talking about me. Cut her some slack. 

Although I don't have a recliner. Just a really nice office chair for two.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

The thing is, regardless of whether he's working and she's not, nasty ways of treatment aren't cool. OP you never answered the question, is your wife frequently nasty to you over small things?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Women NEVER get to retire.
> 
> We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores I can't think of right at the moment. And your wife probably had to do all this **** WHILE she was working as well.
> 
> ...


Yeah, but....

Yeah, but, that is HER job! :surprise::|:|:smile2::grin2:

OK!....have at me!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

At my house..

At my house I do fifty percent of all the work, all of the heavy work. Most of the outdoor work. All of the carpentry, plumbing, electrical, roof work. Twenty five percent of the cooking, her choice.

Or, else!


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## msrv23 (Jul 14, 2017)

Bobby5000 said:


> "We still have to cook, clean, do laundry, meal plan, food shop, empty the dishwasher and do about 5,400 other chores." But a lot of this is because of what women think is important, not what the man wants. My wife will take an hour and an half to make a fancy dinner but that's not necessary as I can pick something up, I just want her not to annoy me after a tough day supporting her. Don't aggravate me, that's all I asked when she retired, explaining that my job frequently requires 60 hours of stress per week and I did not or could not deal with more when I got home.


What does the man want? What are the differences? It seems that there is some devaluing of what she does here just because you don’t value it. Maybe you don’t care to have a tidy home, clean folded clothes, healthy food, but would she have to stick with only what you want? One hour and half of cooking doesn’t seem much.



Bobby5000 said:


> "You can’t control what your wife will do. You can only choose how you will react to what she does." Nope I can tell her fine, you need to aggravate me or talk nasty, fine, I will stop working or you can begin.


This is not a good way to solve issues as a team. You seem to expect her to comply to your expectations without considering her as a person. One can’t simply expect the other to be compliant and nice without feelings or bad moods. Saying something like if she misbehaves then you stop working so she goes work is not how you want to solve issues together but simply forcing her to either comply or deal with it.

If your job is really too stressful you might consider other alternatives. It’s not fair to expect no issues from your wife while you focus all your energies and patience to your work. One thing is having no choice but another is having it.


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