# conflicted views on buying a home



## 30Mom (Jan 21, 2012)

My husband and I have this disagreement about where we should buy our home, either pay more for a home in a great school district or get more home for our buck in a good school district. We have two school age children and I am taking the side of buying a home in a great school district, even if it means buying a smaller home and paying a bit more for the home. In contrast, my husband is taking the other side of wanting to buy a bigger house for less money. 

He is accusing me of being materialistic and wanting to live in an area that is "branded" because he thinks that I want to show off to people that I live in a certain suburb. In actuality, I've done my research and I have targeted specific areas that I would like to live based on the high performing schools that are available for those areas and the high percentage of ethnically diverse students in those schools. It is with no surprise that these areas are very high in demand so we would have to pay a little bit more. On the other side, I am also willing to live within walking distance to work within a not so great school district and put my children in private schools. But this is not an option that my husband can live with either. 

This disagreement has really torn us apart. I would like to just give in and say "okay, let's buy a house you like in the area you like" but that would mean I would be giving up what is most important to me. This is something that is really important to me, so I refuse to give in. I didn't realize that buying a home would be so stressful.

I don't know what to do anymore. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

If you haven't already, do your research on both school districts. You might find that the good school district will fill your children's educational needs. Also, involvement with the school could help the school even more. Having direct involvement with your children's eduction makes a big difference. (help with fun raisers, helping with homework, etc.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Exactly -- the difference between a good school and a great school is not as important as parental involvement and the setting of high standards (and good examples) at home.

Forget private school, put them in the good school and use the extra money for tutoring, private lessons, other enhancement. I'm with your husband on this one.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

We picked the great school district. Our compromise was getting a short sale for cheap. And with 3 kids I didn't want to go with the smaller house. This is my forever home.

But I'm with the others I'd look into the good school district and see if it will get the job done adequately. You may be surprised that it's not as big of a deal as you think. I'd rather have a bigger house than be in a great school district if the good one will do the job.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Well we went for a great school district and have been nothing but disappointed in the past four years with the school and the way that it is run for the most part.

Sometimes you can do all the research and still not be pleased. If you can I would talk to parents from both districts.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Your husband is not doing a very good job of trying to work with you on this if he is accusing you of being materialistic... That's an insane strategy to get his way.

You should not buy a house until you both agree... I would read about policy of joint agreement... Also, what you want to do is figure out what is important to your husband in life and relate to him how your vision of life in this house includes things that are meaningful to him.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Hicks said:


> Your husband is not doing a very good job of trying to work with you on this if he is accusing you of being materialistic... That's an insane strategy to get his way.


I thought that too. Name calling and putting her down isn't a way to settle conflicts or disagreements.


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## heartbrok3n (Jun 5, 2012)

To me, figuring out what one wants in life, goal-setting and developing the work ethics to achieve one's goals are far more important than what school one goes to.

Having said that, if you two can afford it, perhaps you can try talking to your husband about buying a property within the great school district as an investment? Like you said, the properties within the area are highly sought after, as a result, the property value would also increase at a quicker rate.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

Id side with the husband. Bigger home, good district. and from there you could BOTH compromise on which house you choose.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

lamaga said:


> Exactly -- the difference between a good school and a great school is not as important as parental involvement and the setting of high standards (and good examples) at home.
> 
> Forget private school, put them in the good school and use the extra money for tutoring, private lessons, other enhancement. I'm with your husband on this one.


I agree!!!! In the end it's all up to the kid anyway once they hit college


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

lamaga said:


> Exactly -- the difference between a good school and a great school is not as important as parental involvement and the setting of high standards (and good examples) at home.


Agree. I went through this same exercise of considering how much location matters when buying a home. Most telling to me was that in my school district (fairly large) the elementary school standardized test scores range from ok to truly excellent, yet all the school teach the same curriculum.

Unless you are going to argue that the kids are just innately smarter in one school vs. another, the difference has to be the level of support that the kids get at home.


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