# Location, Location, Marriage, Divorce?



## Zombie6 (Jan 5, 2011)

I been married for 9 years and my marriage is almost over due to recent relocation. 

To get the better idea this is how it started:

We started off as friends for about a year, and dated for about a year, then her family decided to move back to Canada, after living in US for 3 years. We were not 100% convinced that we should get married at that time so we continued long distance dating for another year. Then we got married and she moved from Canada to the southern state where I lived (where I owned and still own the house) and where all this started.
I knew that she wasn't crazy about moving but I didn't know it would become my biggest problem in marriage.

Year after year she was just talking how we need to move to Canada where her family leaves or Chicago where we have no friends or family(but it looks to her like Canada). This constant fighting about moving really drove me crazy and made me feel guilty all the time because anything that didn't go as planned in her life it was all because of me, and the state where we lived in. Unlike Canada being the place where she grew up I grew up in Europe and for some reason I feel that me pushing her to go to live in Europe would be equal to her pushing me to move to Canada.

I really love her and didn't want to lose her, and I decided to make that move even though my guts was telling me otherwise. 
7 months ago we finally made that move to Chicago, and her interest in Chicago dropped from 100% to 50% and mine dropped from 20% to 0% or should I say constant depression. 
With this depression I'm really loosing it and expressing my negative feelings towards her and this place where we moved because I don't see a reason to be here. 

Now I'm faced with 3 options: 

1. Staying where we are and dealing with this depression.
(Only reason I moved here (besides staying with her)was 
better job opportunity but that faded away quick)

2. Move to Canada where she grow up and where her family is.
(nothing against her family, but ooo boy if I just got paid a
dollar for every time I had to hear how we need to move to 
Canada ) Plus I really don't want to live in Canada

3. Is to pack my bags and go back where I came from. 
(aka: Welcome to Miami)

I can't say I have any other problems with her and I know she cares about me, but going from constantly feeling guilty because we lived in FL, to constantly feeling depressed because of this recent move I really don't know what's worst. 

Some days I think she just has this agenda to get me to Canada no matter what. She also keeps telling me that would make her happiest and would be the best for us. And some days I just blame myself for not realizing her agenda and getting divorced earlier and not making this move to Chicago. 

The hardest part for me in this is that every time we would get in fight over this in FL and stopped talking I was the one who had to fix everything 
and make her feel better, and now when I'm totally depressed and just can't take it she doesn't bother to start a conversation or make me feel any better. Unlike her sharing her anger with family and friends I feel like a failure if I do that and I just keep everything to myself and its eating me up that I have nobody to share with.

I would appreciate any opinions or suggestion on how to fix this marriage problem once and for all or just walk away from this marriage.

Thanks!!!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm not so sure she is going to be happy once she gets to Canada. I think I would analyze that scenario first. I'm sure Miami looks very this this time of the year.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

I'd say you compromised enough in that department.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

In her own language: tell her to "Take off, eh!"
Chicago is like Canada, indeed!


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

I would guess that there's something going on beyond just choosing where you live. This might be worth going to counseling over.


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