# How to handle Thanksgiving without spouse



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

This is my first Thanksgiving without my wife. For those of you who do not know my story, my wife left me and the kids back in June. Except for a few visits here and there she has been largely out of the picture. My family and hers know we are getting a divorce. And today, her family and mine will be celebrating Thanksgiving together like we always have...except for her. It's her choice not to be here, I know. But my question is, when it's time to sit down at the table and I'm asked to say grace or the "speech", how the hell do I handle that gracefully?:scratchhead: And Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here on the boards.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Perhaps you can defer from saying grace this year and have someone else do it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

or just stick to the basics

"Look out teeth, look out gums, look out stomach because here it comes!"


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

You have a lot to be thankful for. Mainly because your stbxw has left the state and you still have your kids and home. If you have to go through a divorce this is about as good as it gets. 

Your young and you now have a golden opportunity to find a new wife and literally a new mother for your children. Take advantage of the situation. 

Soon you will be over her and the pain will turn to indifference. The sooner you start dating the better. She is not worth a second thought.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Nice quote almost recovered. Haha. I would like to defer if I can. We'll see. I was concerned about how everyone sitting at the dinner table might feel with her missing. It's more about my family than her regarding my concern. But I think I see your point about moving on. And being thankful for what I do have is something I can recognize if I end up saying grace. Thanks Chapp.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

"Thank you to the farmers who grew the food and the turkey who gave its life for this magnificient meal. Thank you for our family and the love we have to gather here. Amen"


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

I know how you fell well sorta, at least the first thanksgiving alone thing. My dday was last year about this time... My d papers are signed and the court date is next week. She left, we share custody of my 3 year old. I have no family, they all live far away and aren't exactly close. For the last 10 years I had spent holidays with her large family (they are very close). This thanksgiving I am alone. I told her to take my son so he could be involved in a large family holiday... Also told her to take him for Xmas, he deserves a family Xmas, being around a large group of people that love him. Suspect this will be brutal. But, I'm trying not to dwell or think about it too much. I do have football games to look forward too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

This is my first Thanksgiving without my husband. There were times where I wondered how I would fare saying I would have to see my sister's and their husband's together, and here I would be, the poor, broken girl who couldn't even keep her husband happy. I feared they'd all look down on me (in reality, I know they wouldn't, that's just my insecurities speaking). I have been invited to his side of the family for dinner. They did not invite him; they invited me. So, today, I will stop and visit with his sisters, and my nieces and nephews from his side then I will later on head out to my parents. It will be okay, it really will be.


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

This is my first Thanksgiving without my wife in 38 years. I am depressed today.
She is atying with our youngest daughter and they are having dinner there. I am invited but if I go it will be after the WW goes to work. But I really don't even want to be in the same house that she lives in even though she won't be there. Don't know what to tell my daughter. I feel more like getting drunk and staying here all day because of the depression. 
OP,I know I couldn't say the dinner prayer today unless after thanking God for everything I then prayed for him to rain fire and brimstone down on her in judgement! This is very difficult day for me.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How about - thank you for giving me the strength to stand up for whats right and to not accept being treated as a second choice, an option, and a lesser importance than their affair partner.

To have strength to stop letting the WS put me on hold, while they pursued another, to ask me to honor my vows while they went elsewhere.


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> How about - thank you for giving me the strength to stand up for whats right and to not accept being treated as a second choice, an option, and a lesser importance than their affair partner.
> 
> To have strength to stop letting the WS put me on hold, while they pursued another, to ask me to honor my vows while they went elsewhere.


Shaggy,that helps and thank you! I hope it helps the Op alot.
But as for me...I decided to not go around the blind children that believe every lie that the WW wife tells them and to be a damned ole thanksgiving day drunk today,lol. I should start a thread about the effects on the children after I have rugsweeped for 38 years and never exposed anything. Well I had pretty much stopped drinking and was doing alot better but today has got the best of me and so my turkey is cheap beer and grief. BUT...I vow that come next Thanksgiving I will have many people to go to and spend this day with. And I guarantee everyone, there will be a better woman in my life then that will love me for who and what I am that will not be an excessive compulsive lying cheat that lusts to destroy me. Sound crazy? Let me introduce you to her and tell you my story in more detail.


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## Santofimio (Oct 26, 2011)

My first thanksgiving without my wife also, we're only separated right now but its not going well. I only spent the day with my parents, my grandma, my brother and his wife & kids. My grandma has Azlheimer's so she asked me where my wife was about 5 or 6 times. I just simply replied with "Shes with her family" but each time she asked was still a reminder to me of the reason why she wasn't with me.

It didn't help either that the Lions (my home team) got creamed by the Packers.

Overall it wasn't bad because I've become closer with my immediate family and they gives me plenty of opportunity to make it a more positive experience.


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