# Singles of TAM 2023 Edition



## LATERILUS79

Happy New Year everyone. 

I raise a glass to my fellow singles out there on the interwebs! 

I hope you all find happiness with a new partner or continue to enjoy your life single!


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## Not

Here we go again…. 😂😂😂


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## Bulfrog1987

First year single since I was 16. I’m not afraid either. Finally, 10 months later beginning to see the blessing in it all. Watching the Chiefs kick some bronco tail, sounds of my son and his wonderful imagination filling the rooms in my home and it’s 75 degrees here in Texas. So very grateful. Cheers fellow singles, cheers.


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## Livvie

Bulfrog1987 said:


> First year single since I was 16. I’m not afraid either. Finally, 10 months later beginning to see the blessing in it all. Watching the Chiefs kick some bronco tail, sounds of my son and his wonderful imagination filling the rooms in my home and it’s 75 degrees here in Texas. So very grateful. Cheers fellow singles, cheers.


Cheers!

That thread going on now on this forum about women who _choose_ to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.

Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".

It's just so rude.


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## RandomDude

Livvie said:


> Cheers!
> 
> That thread going on now on this forum about women who _choose_ to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.
> 
> Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".
> 
> It's just so rude.


Heh maybe they have to justify all their sacrifices somehow too, like once coupled I felt the same in a way, had to focus on the negatives not the positives of single life so I could appreciate what I had, you know. But hey who knows, glad of perspectives though some comments did trigger me too 😅


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## Not

Livvie said:


> Cheers!
> 
> That thread going on now on this forum about women who _choose_ to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.
> 
> Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".
> 
> It's just so rude.


Reminds of a trip I took to Walmart right after my divorce. I was in the produce section and ran into an old coworker. As she and I were talking an elderly gentleman approached us and asked if he could ask us a question. His wife had just passed away and he didn’t know how to make a tuna fish sandwich. He asked us to help him. Total tear jerker moment. This man was completely lost.

I see a lot of the members you mention in that same way. Lost.


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## Bulfrog1987

Livvie said:


> Cheers!
> 
> That thread going on now on this forum about women who _choose_ to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.
> 
> Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".
> 
> It's just so rude.


I hear you. Truth be told I don’t want to be single. I love taking care of a man. I just wish the one I’d spent so many years putting so much care into would have returned the favor from time to time. 

The painful part I’m realizing is, I was already practically living how I am now, even when my husband was alive. But when he killed himself this past year, well, he took away the choice I was making, the sacrifices I was making while waiting for him to get his head out of his rear. Then, before I chose to stay, chose to keep on keeping on. It’s now longer a choice. 

That’s what I hate most currently. I’m sure that will evolve. I made some changes that had thrown my hormones out of wack which made me nutty for a bit. They are starting to settle and so is the idea of just doing my thing, without dating or seeking a mate, just caring for my son and doing things I enjoy and letting everything else fall where it may. 

I feel fairly content.


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## RandomDude

The whole idea of coupling up now just sickens and repulses me. My shell and spines are back up. 

I thinking I'm going to tell fbuddy the truth of things. It's not right. I'm still not in the mood and the itch just comes and goes. It's not as crazy as it was last year. But seriously I will most likely regret it but it's taking too much energy pretending and I'm just not feeling the flirts.

And honestly, my tastes are switching for some reason, I'm not as adamant about her type anymore.


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## Bulfrog1987

RandomDude said:


> The whole idea of coupling up now just sickens and repulses me. My shell and spines are back up.
> 
> I thinking I'm going to tell fbuddy the truth of things. It's not right. I'm still not in the mood and the itch just comes and goes. It's not as crazy as it was last year. But seriously I will most likely regret it but it's taking too much energy pretending and I'm just not feeling the flirts.
> 
> And honestly, my tastes are switching for some reason, I'm not as adamant about her type anymore.


What is your new ‘type’ anyhow, besides strictly a woman not looking for a relationship? I mean that in seriousness and no shade or anything! 🙃


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## Not

My exH got stuck on the east coast after flying out to visit our son for xmas and I wound up dog sitting for him quite a bit. He wasn’t able to catch a flight back until a week after he was due back and my daughter was dog sitting but wound up needing help during that extended time period.

I had a dog fall in love with me lol! Ever had that happen? Me neither lol! But man this chubby turkey has my heart now. Such a sweet sweet girl. So awkward though! I love my exes dog! 😂


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## RandomDude

Bulfrog1987 said:


> What is your new ‘type’ anyhow, besides strictly a woman not looking for a relationship? I mean that in seriousness and no shade or anything! 🙃


None specific right now, I'm just seeing more women as beautiful instead of a very specific type 😅

Honestly I think THAT particular itch was because of one opportunity that I simply would not take, the one at work. I spent months looking for her very likeness as a result. She was also everything I wished my ex - body wise - could have been physically, as shallow and cruel that is to admit along with my guilt over it. Probably why I was attracted too because it pulled my thoughts away from ex. Now that I've scratched the itch, and spent more time by myself to get over my ex, it's just not there.

I only messaged her anyway so I can tell myself I tried so I won't think about it anymore. She wasn't supposed to respond.


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> My exH got stuck on the east coast after flying out to visit our son for xmas and I wound up dog sitting for him quite a bit. He wasn’t able to catch a flight back until a week after he was due back and my daughter was dog sitting but wound up needing help during that extended time period.
> 
> I had a dog fall in love with me lol! Ever had that happen? Me neither lol! But man this chubby turkey has my heart now. Such a sweet sweet girl. So awkward though! I love my exes dog! 😂
> View attachment 95140


You guys too? I don't know what's going on but the word is everywhere airlines were simply incompetent this New Years


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## Not

RandomDude said:


> You guys too? I don't know what's going on but the word is everywhere airlines were simply incompetent this New Years


Yes. My son FaceTime’d me this morning and was telling me what happened. This was Southwest airlines. Ex husband got to the airport to come back home and about 20 minutes later his flight was canceled so my son took him back home with him. They tried calling all day long every day for about three days and never got an answer from the airline so my ex wound up having to buy a new plane ticket to get home.

Apparently, thousands of people were stranded all over the country. FWB texted me to say hello one day this past week and said his mom is stuck here until Tuesday.


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> Yes. My son FaceTime’d me this morning and was telling me what happened. This was Southwest airlines. Ex husband got to the airport to come back home and about 20 minutes later his flight was canceled so my son took him back home with him. They tried calling all day long every day for about three days and never got an answer from the airline so my ex wound up having to buy a new plane ticket to get home.
> 
> Apparently, thousands of people were stranded all over the country. FWB texted me to say hello one day this past week and said his mom is stuck here until Tuesday.


Guess that's what happens when you lay off the entire aviation industry for years 😅


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## Numb26

RandomDude said:


> Guess that's what happens when you lay off the entire aviation industry for years 😅


Commercial aviation has gotten so bad in the past 4 years.


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## lifeistooshort

People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.

The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.

It's an apples to oranges comparison.

Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.


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## Bulfrog1987

lifeistooshort said:


> People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.
> 
> The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.
> 
> It's an apples to oranges comparison.
> 
> Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.


This right here!! I’m finally feeling freedom of feeling desperate.


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## RandomDude

lifeistooshort said:


> People who are single tend to think of partnering up in the abstract because they don’t have someone in particular they're attached to. When you either don't like what you have or don't have anyone is particular it's easier to feel fine alone.
> 
> The married people have a particular person so of course they don't want to be single. I love my bf but I'm attached to HIM....without him I'd think of being single differently and would be fine.
> 
> It's an apples to oranges comparison.
> 
> Being ok single is better even if you would like someone because you make better decisions. Too much desperation clouds judgement.


It becomes a lifestyle, and people will defend their lifestyles when people criticise it, myself included. I think that's why it gets triggery.

Like hey I'm very happy the way I am because I am VERY independent and only really make room in my life for two people, partner and child. The rest need to organise meetings and each need to be with a purpose  (Also, celebrations are for other people not for me, I only celebrate FOR THEM)

Also why I liked having extroverted partners because they can entertain my visitors 😑 

Sure although it was nice to have a 'partner in crime' nothing lasts forever and I've come to accept that and just be glad for the experiences I've had in life and the love of the women I've come to cherish as well as lost. The thing is, the spot for "partner in crime" I'm never desperate about, I can go without. I don't need that kind of vulnerability in my life anyway. I never needed it. The only time I even fell in love was because she was so young and innocent I could not find it in my heart to say no to a blossoming love that was both raw and real right in front of me that I never experienced so strongly in my life no matter the incompatibilities.

The minute I find another clink in my armor is the minute I fall in love again.


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## lifeistooshort

RandomDude said:


> It becomes a lifestyle, and people will defend their lifestyles when people criticise it, myself included. I think that's why it gets triggery.
> 
> Like hey I'm very happy the way I am because I am VERY independent and only really make room in my life for two people, partner and child. The rest need to organise meetings and each need to be with a purpose  (Also, celebrations are for other people not for me, I only celebrate FOR THEM)
> 
> Also why I liked having extroverted partners because they can entertain my visitors 😑
> 
> Sure although it was nice to have a 'partner in crime' nothing lasts forever and I've come to accept that and just be glad for the experiences I've had in life and the love of the women I've come to cherish as well as lost. The thing is, the spot for "partner in crime" I'm never desperate about, I can go without. I don't need that kind of vulnerability in my life anyway. I never needed it. The only time I even fell in love was because she was so young and innocent I could not find it in my heart to say no to a blossoming love that was both raw and real right in front of me that I never experienced so strongly in my life no matter the incompatibilities.
> 
> The minute I find another clink in my armor is the minute I fall in love again.


Nobody should have to defend any of their life choices. You get to live however you want to live, which hopefully makes you happy..

Just remember that all rewards in life require risk. The key is to aim for smart risk and do a risk potential reward analysis, then decide if it's worth it. I happen to be a mix of pragmatist and eternal optimist.


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## RandomDude

lifeistooshort said:


> Nobody should have to defend any of their life choices. You get to live however you want to live, which hopefully makes you happy..
> 
> Just remember that all rewards in life require risk. The key is to aim for smart risk and do a risk potential reward analysis, then decide if it's worth it. I happen to be a mix of pragmatist and eternal optimist.


I do take quite a lot of risks actually 😅

But if there's no magic why risk anything? The thing with me too is that I know once I make a decision on someone that's it, we can never be more. I'm not going to waste my time dating or being in a relationship with someone who is otherwise compatible and wait for the chemistry to grow. The chemistry has to be there, and if it is, I'll risk the incompatibilities, I'll date interracially, I'll go to church, I'll cradle rob. I'll risk it and I have, including suffered the consequences of it lol I'm still here hahaha


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## Not

I actually wonder at times if the happy being single but open to a relationship state of mind is what makes a lot of new connections fizzle out. Both are good with their lives as is so neither puts in the effort to really propel things forward.


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> I actually wonder at times if the happy being single but open to a relationship state of mind is what makes a lot of new connections fizzle out. Both are good with their lives as is so neither puts in the effort to really propel things forward.


Possibly, or the chemistry just isn't strong enough to carry it through.

There's simply very little magic... from my experience. It doesn't have to be love for the magic sparks. Just some romance, not to mention so many women watch all that stuff right and in real life dating is so dull. Maybe that's why all my meaningful relationships were organic, last relationship just caught each other's eye and after a love note and a few weeks we were already touching in naughty places. Yet if you go out looking for it too, it loses its magic. It just has to happen.

So what else to do in the meantime but be happy with ourselves?


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## Enigma32

lifeistooshort said:


> Nobody should have to defend any of their life choices. You get to live however you want to live, which hopefully makes you happy..
> 
> Just remember that all rewards in life require risk. The key is to aim for smart risk and do a risk potential reward analysis, then decide if it's worth it. I happen to be a mix of pragmatist and eternal optimist.


No one has to defend their life choices, they just choose to.


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## RandomDude

Enigma32 said:


> No one has to defend their life choices, they just choose to.


Triggered 😑


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## Bulfrog1987

RandomDude said:


> Triggered 😑


Y’all knock it off lol.


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## RandomDude

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Y’all knock it off lol.


Heh I also reckon maybe some people just want others to experience the type of happiness they are having now like "hey I'm so in love and having the time of my life why aren't you in love too?" haha so really it's just cute 🤗 lol


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## Enigma32

Bulfrog1987 said:


> Y’all knock it off lol.


I got much love for @RandomDude. Besides, I am glad he chose to stay single. He and I have a similar taste in ladies so he saved some for me by bowing out of the game.


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## Bulfrog1987

Enigma32 said:


> I got much love for @RandomDude. Besides, I am glad he chose to stay single. He and I have a similar taste in ladies so he saved some for me by bowing out of the game.


What a pal lol


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## RandomDude

Enigma32 said:


> I got much love for @RandomDude. Besides, I am glad he chose to stay single. He and I have a similar taste in ladies so he saved some for me by bowing out of the game.


Too bad, you're married now. Odds are now I'm still going to score more than you


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## Enigma32

RandomDude said:


> Too bad, you're married now. Odds are now I'm still going to score more than you


Yeah. I bowed out of the game you are playing. We are on the other side of the world from each other though, so we would stay out of one another's way regardless.


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## RandomDude

Enigma32 said:


> Yeah. I bowed out of the game you are playing. We are on the other side of the world from each other though, so we would stay out of one another's way regardless.


Yeah I wouldn't start worrying unless you hear of them wanting to pack their bags and move down under or something...
If that happens it wasn't me!!! 😇 lol


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## Not

RandomDude said:


> Possibly, or the chemistry just isn't strong enough to carry it through.
> 
> There's simply very little magic... from my experience. It doesn't have to be love for the magic sparks. Just some romance, not to mention so many women watch all that stuff right and in real life dating is so dull. Maybe that's why all my meaningful relationships were organic, last relationship just caught each other's eye and after a love note and a few weeks we were already touching in naughty places. Yet if you go out looking for it too, it loses its magic. It just has to happen.
> 
> So what else to do in the meantime but be happy with ourselves?


Yes, I think there’s going to have to be one hell of a zap to draw them both out. I had a jolt back in February but it was short lived. Then the crap with the stalking started a month later and I crawled under my rock so no effort at all really on my side since then. Which I think in the end has been good for me.

The guy I met with two nights ago is like me. Content with life and his dog. I am not feeling it though and he’s not reaching out either. So we haven’t talked since that night and it’s not bothering me in the least. I can’t force an interest if it’s not there even if he’s good on paper.

More of the same and I’m just happily munching away on my toffee here at home. I am more interested in how good this damn toffee is lol! Covered in chocolate and crushed pecans, heaven! 😂


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## frusdil

Livvie said:


> Cheers!
> 
> That thread going on now on this forum about women who _choose_ to not be in a relationship is really irritating to me. Single people are massively discriminated against generally in society, and it's happening there in that thread, too. Such nasty comments, as if a single couldn't possibly ever be happy and will live an empty life. Eyeroll.
> 
> Not sure why people who are married feel so THREATENED by the idea that someone could willingly choose to not be in a relationship and be happy. Is it because they know they could never handle not being married and they would lose their **** if they had to adult on their own so they push back at the idea? What will those people do if they ever lose a spouse by death or if their spouse leaves them? A lot of them act as if once married they are set until the grave. It's not any guarantee. I guess their life post spousal death or divorce would be a frantic mad scramble to find anyone, just anyone as a replacement. They need a warm body and can't be happy without "someone".
> 
> It's just so rude.


I can't comment on others comments, but the fact that you misread mine and called me out on it, raises the possibility that you also misread some others.


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> The guy I met with two nights ago is like me. Content with life and his dog. I am not feeling it though and he’s not reaching out either. So we haven’t talked since that night and it’s not bothering me in the least. I can’t force an interest if it’s not there even if he’s good on paper.


Yeah, happens like that, not even anything to even talk about. Just no spark, and that's it.



> More of the same and I’m just happily munching away on my toffee here at home. I am more interested in how good this damn toffee is lol! Covered in chocolate and crushed pecans, heaven! 😂


I'm enjoying my new years relative peace and quiet too amidst everyone else's headaches, it kinda feels like staying in during the rain


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## Not




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## RandomDude

Not said:


> View attachment 95147


Oh don't start now 😅


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## Hiner112

I went down an Etsy rabbit hole and got (some of?) my GF's Valentine's Day things. A couple of the things are pictured above.

I don't have a strong preference for looks but I would like them to be small enough for me to pick up but robust enough that I don't have to worry about being a bit ... vigorous. 

@RandomDude was talking about needing an itch scratched and after a couple days away from the GF I get easily distracted. I'm 45 so this is after a bit of a decline. Coupling and preferably living together is probably the way I'd be happiest.


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## Not




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## RandomDude

Not said:


> View attachment 95149


😅


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## RandomDude




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## Livvie

frusdil said:


> I can't comment on others comments, but the fact that you misread mine and called me out on it, raises the possibility that you also misread some others.


Yeah......I didn't, though. Your last sentence in the post of yours I responded to you about in that thread reads: "... to avoid the pitiful expressions on peeps faces when they find out she's single". 

Pitiful expressions, you wrote.

Are you, or are you not saying in that sentence that being single is a pitiable state of being?

And I'm not the only oerson who commented on that post of yours.

I just think it's rude, generally, all the shade throwing on a (fictitious) woman in that thread just because she's happy being single. It's as if people don't believe it can actually happen, which is laughable.

I was married for almost 20 years, then I was in a very long term relationship, but geez, everyone started out single in life, right? And along the way, divorce and even spousal DEATH happens. If that many people aren't happy with themselves and with life unless and until they are in a relationship that doesn't speak positively about people's mental health. Because....life happens. Anyone can wake up single tomorrow, even.


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## Not

Just gonna tuck this response to another thread waayyyy down here where the singles hang out. Maybe I won’t get banned this way lol!


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## RandomDude




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## frusdil

Livvie said:


> *Yeah......I didn't, though.* Your last sentence in the post of yours I responded to you about in that thread reads: "... to avoid the pitiful expressions on peeps faces when they find out she's single".
> 
> Pitiful expressions, you wrote.


Yes you did.

I did write that yes, but I did NOT SAY that single people are pitiful. What I said was they get pitiful looks from people, which they do, because I myself used to get those pitiful looks when I single and childless at 37.


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## Not

Opinions? I answered a text from him and asked if he had any plans for the night.

I bowed out, told him I was no longer interested. Why? If he had been upfront and just stated he had a date planned before he began talking to me then I can respect that but he threw in the friend BS and that was it for me. Who meets someone they met online as just friends? It was a weird mixture of honesty and lying. OLD is so fun. 🤦‍♀️


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> Opinions? I answered a text from him and asked if he had any plans for the night.
> 
> I bowed out, told him I was no longer interested. Why? If he had been upfront and just stated he had a date planned before he began talking to me then I can respect that but he threw in the friend BS and that was it for me. Who meets someone they met online as just friends? It was a weird mixture of honesty and lying. OLD is so fun. 🤦‍♀️
> View attachment 95177


Everyone says that though 😅

I dunno I'm so used to the bullsh-t that even if they come out with the truth I wouldn't have noticed it because I never listen to the words people say anyway only their patterns, behaviors and convictions.

Still it can be insulting when people try, it's up to you. This isn't even OLD right this is the same guy that your friend introed?


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## Not

Nope, different guy. In my mind, playing along with it like I’m stupid is out of the question. First time I’ve seen this btw.

It would make more sense to me if he had just kept it to himself instead of making an ass out himself. 🤷‍♀️


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## RandomDude

Not said:


> *Nope, different guy. *In my mind, playing along with it like I’m stupid is out of the question. First time I’ve seen this btw.
> 
> It would make more sense to me if he had just kept it to himself instead of making an ass out himself. 🤷‍♀️


Then he is expendable 😅









* flick *


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## RandomDude

So I was looking at travelling this year, wondered if I could meet other like minded women with a travel bug, date them overseas. Romantic and fun no? Something different!

Googled, and holy crap. There's sites for it alright! BUT, I checked some reviews and apparently it's all for sugar daddies and sugar babies where the women don't get their own tickets  lol ok WHAT?! Of course, what else should I have expected 🤦‍♂️

* sigh * This is why I've always liked the miss independents


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## TXTrini

Not said:


> Opinions? I answered a text from him and asked if he had any plans for the night.
> 
> I bowed out, told him I was no longer interested. Why? If he had been upfront and just stated he had a date planned before he began talking to me then I can respect that but he threw in the friend BS and that was it for me. Who meets someone they met online as just friends? It was a weird mixture of honesty and lying. OLD is so fun. 🤦‍♀️
> View attachment 95177


I actually went on a platonic outing with the first guy who asked me out OLD (I turned him down the first time). We chatted and played a little golf, with no shenanigans (though he wouldn't stop making lewd jokes about how I whacked the ball 😆). 

Can dudes do the same? Maybe some? Though from what I've read on here, men don't do "friend dates". Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.


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## Not

TXTrini said:


> I actually went on a platonic outing with the first guy who asked me out OLD (I turned him down the first time). We chatted and played a little golf, with no shenanigans (though he wouldn't stop making lewd jokes about how I whacked the ball 😆).
> 
> Can dudes do the same? Maybe some? Though from what I've read on here, men don't do "friend dates". Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.


This is what I'm looking for, different views. I'm re-evaluating some of my opinions on some things and didn't know if this would be seen as too harsh. But no, I don't believe a man will go on a platonic date with a female he has no history with lol! Especially one he met online. He may tell her that he agrees to it being platonic but he'd be full of ****, imo. 😆


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## TXTrini

Not said:


> This is what I'm looking for, different views. I'm re-evaluating some of my opinions on some things and didn't know if this would be seen as too harsh. But no, I don't believe a man will go on a platonic date with a female he has no history with lol! Especially one he met online. He may tell her that he agrees to it being platonic but he'd be full of ****, imo. 😆


I hear ya, it's always interesting to hear other people's experiences.

In our case, the guy in question was a younger man looking to start a family, I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for, but I knew it wasn't anything casual. We were both upfront about it and decided to go out for fun, since neither of us was finding what we were looking for to cheer each other up.

We talked a lot, he shared some of the things he saw OLD, and I realized how challenging it was to find a compatible person in a sea of fake people. I shared my dread at going on another date with questionable men. He renewed my faith that there were still decent men out there worth looking for. I gave him hope that not all women were fakers who he'd have to be afraid of meeting (he drove around in his car trying to spot me 😂)

We didn't go out or talk again, but I hope he found what he was looking for. I certainly did.


----------



## Faithful Wife

@Not Wow, he's just too honest. All he had to do was say he was busy and ask you out for another night. I would never have told a date or potential date that I was busy because of another date, yikes! We don't owe each other that honesty for one thing, especially just a meet up. But now he's gone and blown it. Next!!

My update....the parakeet and I are having a lovely time  I refer to him as my boyfriend now. My ex-h and I are also having a lovely time learning to sing together and practicing a couple times a week. He and the bird love each other too, the bird can't wait to see him when he comes over to practice singing. So that's my life with two really great, sweet guys. No reason to date at this point, and I definitely don't miss the merry go round on the apps. If prince charming comes and beats my door down, I'll give it a chance, but I'm happy with things the way they are so I might not even answer the door anyway.


----------



## RandomDude

Been thinking of work crush again, the woman who inspired me to seek out her very likeness...

I think I know why I'm conflicted with fbuddy, she is the same ethnicity, same build, prettier, even taller, longer legs than work crush, but she's also financially irresponsible and in debt. Work crush had her own business and was in a leadership role, she was just so sexy because of it too (just like the song I posted)

I think I've realised as superficial as I was, there are still other factors that still counts a ton when it comes to attraction. This goes for myself as well and is a good reminder.

Yet FFS why did she had to be so stupid that turned me off! Yes, I know I can't expect every under 25 yr old hottie to have the mental capacity of someone 30+, ex was the exception not the norm. Still feels like a lost opportunity to me. Ex-wife wasn't that smart either, not everyone has to have depth right? Hell I don't know. I haven't had another crush since ex that had so many greenlights for me, it just felt like she was my next girl and I rejected her. There was something there. _sigh_ Oh well.


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> I hear ya, it's always interesting to hear other people's experiences.
> 
> In our case, the guy in question was a younger man looking to start a family, I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for, but I knew it wasn't anything casual. We were both upfront about it and decided to go out for fun, since neither of us was finding what we were looking for to cheer each other up.
> 
> We talked a lot, he shared some of the things he saw OLD, and I realized how challenging it was to find a compatible person in a sea of fake people. I shared my dread at going on another date with questionable men. He renewed my faith that there were still decent men out there worth looking for. I gave him hope that not all women were fakers who he'd have to be afraid of meeting (he drove around in his car trying to spot me 😂)
> 
> We didn't go out or talk again, but I hope he found what he was looking for. I certainly did.


No one goes on dating sites for friends. Everyone knows that. Unless you mean "friends" as in being acquaintances during courtship. Then sure.

I had designated quite a few women as friends as they put on their profiles "looking for friends" and I'm like yay, messaged them only for them to want more from me than I had expected they would want. So it's not just men. One also admitted she did it as a filtering method.


----------



## Not

Faithful Wife said:


> @Not Wow, he's just too honest. All he had to do was say he was busy and ask you out for another night. I would never have told a date or potential date that I was busy because of another date, yikes! *We don't owe each other that honesty for one thing, especially just a meet up.* But now he's gone and blown it. Next!!
> 
> My update....the parakeet and I are having a lovely time  I refer to him as my boyfriend now. My ex-h and I are also having a lovely time learning to sing together and practicing a couple times a week. He and the bird love each other too, the bird can't wait to see him when he comes over to practice singing. So that's my life with two really great, sweet guys. No reason to date at this point, and I definitely don't miss the merry go round on the apps. If prince charming comes and beats my door down, I'll give it a chance, but I'm happy with things the way they are so I might not even answer the door anyway.


To the bolded, I’m glad I’m not the only one who had that thought. It creeped me out a tad. It was way too much too soon. Made me wonder if he’d be one of those who flips his lid if he sees you online on the app after talking for just one day. I’ve had that happen.

I like parakeets and I don’t like birds lol! Conures are the worst, never again. My ex-husband loves birds so we had several different types over the years and the parakeets were the only ones I could handle. Not too noisy or messy. If I didn’t have a cat I would get one.


----------



## Not

I’ve got one dating app going but I’ve been ignoring it quite a bit lately due to the fact that I was talking to the friend of the friend and then I began to not feel well and this morning I had the pleasure of passing a kidney stone! It had to be the tiniest little thing ever because I am up and walking around and not in too much discomfort, but holy cow!

So I’m laying in bed right now and I’m looking through this app and I received a like from a very good looking man and I mean really kind of right up my alley looks wise, but his profile has me scratching my head.

He says and I quote…. I am a laid-back kind of guy. In fact, I’m so simple it’s complicated. I like someone who is comfortable taking charge.

What the heck does that even mean? Almost sounds like he can’t think for himself.


----------



## jlg07

To me it sounds like he wants a Mommy.....
Also, congrats on passing the stone -- they can be SUPER painful!


----------



## Faithful Wife

Not said:


> He says and I quote…. I am a laid-back kind of guy. In fact, I’m so simple it’s complicated. I like someone who is comfortable taking charge.
> 
> What the heck does that even mean? Almost sounds like he can’t think for himself.


It means he wants to be dominated, probably. They use that type of wording.

OR....it could mean he wants you to plan all the dates, do all the work in dating, etc.

It is worth finding out what he means though if he seems like your type otherwise!! If it meant he is just lazy and wants you to do all the work, then just don't respond. NEXT!!


----------



## Not

Thanks, I think I’m one of the lucky ones because I’ve seen my dad go through it and it brought him to his knees.

Yeah, it’s not a very attractive way to describe one’s self. I have never seen anything like it on any profile before.


----------



## Not

Faithful Wife said:


> It means he wants to be dominated, probably. They use that type of wording.
> 
> OR....it could mean he wants you to plan all the dates, do all the work in dating, etc.
> 
> It is worth finding out what he means though if he seems like your type otherwise!! If it meant he is just lazy and wants you to do all the work, then just don't respond. NEXT!!


Ah, I didn’t think about it in the sexual way. I am not dominant in that way so that would never work lol!


----------



## TXTrini

RandomDude said:


> No one goes on dating sites for friends. Everyone knows that. Unless you mean "friends" as in being acquaintances during courtship. Then sure.
> 
> I had designated quite a few women as friends as they put on their profiles "looking for friends" and I'm like yay, messaged them only for them to want more from me than I had expected they would want. So it's not just men. One also admitted she did it as a filtering method.


Sometimes you meet decent people you're not attracted to for whatever reason and they're too decent to dismiss like the rest of the rabble. Maybe I'm more comfortable with male friends without romantic interest, as I grew up a tomboy and have had many platonic relationships. 🤷‍♀️ Heck, I'm STILL friends with my first internet friend I met in 1995 and we cheer for each other when we win at life and are sad when each has setbacks.


----------



## TXTrini

Not said:


> I’ve got one dating app going but I’ve been ignoring it quite a bit lately due to the fact that I was talking to the friend of the friend and then I began to not feel well and this morning I had the pleasure of passing a kidney stone! It had to be the tiniest little thing ever because I am up and walking around and not in too much discomfort, but holy cow!
> 
> So I’m laying in bed right now and I’m looking through this app and I received a like from a very good looking man and I mean really kind of right up my alley looks wise, but his profile has me scratching my head.
> 
> He says and I quote…. I am a laid-back kind of guy. In fact, I’m so simple it’s complicated. I like someone who is comfortable taking charge.
> 
> What the heck does that even mean? Almost sounds like he can’t think for himself.


Errrk. Run away. Fast!

He sounds like a lazy entitled man used to women doing the heavy lifting in a relationship. A man baby, if you will. Many very good-looking men are super lazy and are content being chased. It might be cute for the short term, but no man's sexy enough to take on the responsibility of making every decision, yuck. 

Maybe @Faithful Wife is right and he's a sub, but that's also a huge turnoff. Aren't most submissive men gay or like their balls stepped on, etc?


----------



## Not

TXTrini said:


> Errrk. Run away. Fast!
> 
> He sounds like a lazy entitled man used to women doing the heavy lifting in a relationship. A man baby, if you will. Many very good-looking men are super lazy and are content being chased. It might be cute for the short term, but no man's sexy enough to take on the responsibility of making every decision, yuck.
> 
> Maybe @Faithful Wife is right and he's a sub, but that's also a huge turnoff. Aren't most submissive men gay or like their balls stepped on, etc?


I just noticed his profile says he’s separated. So he literally is fresh out of having a woman run his life for him and is probably feeling quite lost. No thank you.


----------



## Lila

Curiosity question for the single guys? 

For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


----------



## TXTrini

Not said:


> I just noticed his profile says he’s separated. So he literally is fresh out of having a woman run his life for him and is probably feeling quite lost. No thank you.


Heck, he was probably wearing an outfit she bought him in that pic 😂 

At least he's honest about it.


----------



## TXTrini

Lila said:


> Curiosity question for the single guys?
> 
> For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


You really have to ask?😂


----------



## Lila

TXTrini said:


> You really have to ask?😂


I do. She scares me 😳


----------



## ccpowerslave

RandomDude said:


> Googled, and holy crap. There's sites for it alright! BUT, I checked some reviews and apparently it's all for sugar daddies and sugar babies where the women don't get their own tickets  lol ok WHAT?! Of course, what else should I have expected 🤦‍♂️


I think this must be fairly new? I have been watching Las Vegas videos for a couple years on YouTube, both to see new slot machines (there are high limit room slot play only) and also to see what new restaurants, hotels, best brunch, etc… kind of stuff. Yesterday after work I turned on YouTube and one of the recommended videos is, “Best time of the year to visit Vegas to pick up sugar daddies.”

BTW they didn’t recommend April because it was too windy and it can mess up your hair. So I’m not going then to look for sugar daddies.


----------



## Numb26

Lila said:


> Curiosity question for the single guys?
> 
> For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


Never seen the show, sorry


----------



## Not

TXTrini said:


> You really have to ask?😂


😂😂😂


Lila said:


> I do. She scares me 😳


They say crazy chicks are the best in bed 😁


----------



## Numb26

Just looked up a picture. Going to be a no from me.


----------



## Not

Btw, I’ve been wanting to start the Yellowstone series but, is that on Netflix or no?


----------



## Lila

Numb26 said:


> Never seen the show, sorry


I didn't think I would like it as the story but the show is really good. It's about a successful rancher and family in Montana. It's Mafia meets dysfunctional Cartwright family.


----------



## Numb26

Lila said:


> I didn't think I would like it as the story but the show is really good. It's about a successful rancher and family in Montana. It's Mafia meets dysfunctional Cartwright family.


So it's about me, minus the mafia part. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## TXTrini

Lila said:


> Curiosity question for the single guys?
> 
> For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


I observed some men who chased after bad *****es they knew were no good for them, then bawl that all women are crazy, while non-crazy chicks looked on in amazement as they took all kinds of crap treatment while raising their asses for more. 


Lila said:


> I do. She scares me 😳


I haven't seen the show, but read this article. Careful though; lots of spoilers! 

Watch an see how all the dudes will say she's not hot enough to be a bad ***** 😂 while sucking in their guts and hastily donning a cap.


----------



## Lila

Not said:


> Btw, I’ve been wanting to start the Yellowstone series but, is that on Netflix or no?


It's on Peacock. 

I don't have cable and just stream Netflix, Prime, Discovery +, and free Samsung TV. 
Didn't know anything about Peacock until recently. It was given as a free subscription as part of my Xfinity internet. They have surprisingly really good shows.


----------



## Not

Lila said:


> It's on Peacock.
> 
> I don't have cable and just stream Netflix, Prime, Discovery +, and free Samsung TV.
> Didn't know anything about Peacock until recently. It was given as a free subscription as part of my Xfinity internet. They have surprisingly really good shows.


Ah bummer. I don’t do cable TV either I have Netflix and Prime only.


----------



## ccpowerslave

Not single and haven’t seen the show but based on google image search my $0.02 take on her would be she is the type of woman where if you talked to her at a bar and made a clever joke not only would she not laugh, she’d look pissed off. That is, up until the point where she’s completely wasted and at that point she’d be super belligerent and also not fun.

So she looks like a no fun lady!

In fact you have to go to a picture of her IRL to find one where she doesn’t have resting b face.


----------



## Not

TXTrini said:


> I observed some men who chased after bad *****es they knew were no good for them, then bawl that all women are crazy, while non-crazy chicks looked on in amazement as they took all kinds of crap treatment while raising their asses for more.
> 
> I haven't seen the show, but read this article. Careful though; lots of spoilers!
> 
> Watch an see how all the dudes will say she's not hot enough to be a bad *** 😂 while sucking in their guts and hastily donning a cap.


When I was dating Tank, his brother got mixed up with one of these chicks. Things got crazy at the end. She wound up shooting the windows out of his house when she realized he meant it when he said it was over. Tanks brother is nothing but trouble but this chick made him look like a woosy lol! And she was the tiniest most petite little thing ever. 😂

And yeah, the brother would brag about how good she was in bed.


----------



## TXTrini

ccpowerslave said:


> Not single and haven’t seen the show but based on google image search my $0.02 take on her would be she is the type of woman where if you talked to her at a bar and made a clever joke not only would she not laugh, she’d look pissed off. That is, up until the point where she’s completely wasted and at that point she’d be super belligerent and also not fun.
> 
> So she looks like a no fun lady!
> 
> In fact you have to go to a picture of her IRL to find one where she doesn’t have resting b face.


I google image searched her too, and didn't get that at all. She just seems more serious, like she's not going to smile to make other people feel better if she's not feeling it. Is that how men interpret a neutral expression? As resting ***** face?


----------



## Lila

Numb26 said:


> So it's about me, minus the mafia part. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


It's good you don't hire ex cons to be cowboys, who then expect them to do your bidding on demand including murder adversaries. Lolol. 

It's a very entertaining show.


----------



## Not

From the clips of the show that I’ve seen, she comes off as extremely sharp witted and intelligent, and a teensy bit violent.


----------



## Lila

Not said:


> Ah bummer. I don’t do cable TV either I have Netflix and Prime only.


It's $6.99 per month and I'll tell you.... Totally worth it. If I didn't have it free, I'd get it. 

My favorite service is Discovery+ commercial free for $4.99. love it.


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> Sometimes you meet decent people you're not attracted to for whatever reason and they're too decent to dismiss like the rest of the rabble. Maybe I'm more comfortable with male friends without romantic interest, as I grew up a tomboy and have had many platonic relationships. 🤷‍♀️ Heck, I'm STILL friends with my first internet friend I met in 1995 and we cheer for each other when we win at life and are sad when each has setbacks.


Temporarily for a chat sure here and there. Sure helps to get insider tips on your profile too when you jump in the FZ immediately and have no designs on impressing her. But long term friends or meeting up to be friends? Nah


----------



## Lila

Not said:


> From the clips of the show that I’ve seen, she comes off as extremely sharp witted and intelligent, and a teensy bit violent.


She's ruthless with her words. She tells men the craziest stuff (emasculating) and they all laugh. 

I'm about to start season 2. Been watching it with Pogo and he's scared of her too. 😂😂. He's says at 51, he doesn't have the energy for handling all of that, all of the time.


----------



## ccpowerslave

TXTrini said:


> I google image searched her too, and didn't get that at all. She just seems more serious, like she's not going to smile to make other people feel better if she's not feeling it. Is that how men interpret a neutral expression? As resting *** face?


It depends. I mean there’s a reason that expression exists.


----------



## RandomDude

ccpowerslave said:


> Not single and haven’t seen the show but based on google image search my $0.02 take on her would be she is the type of woman where if you talked to her at a bar and made a clever joke not only would she not laugh, she’d look pissed off. That is, up until the point where she’s completely wasted and at that point she’d be super belligerent and also not fun.
> 
> So she looks like a no fun lady!
> 
> In fact you have to go to a picture of her IRL to find one where she doesn’t have resting b face.


Is she a Mary Sue? I dunno mate, I'm paranoid as hell now.


----------



## RandomDude

Lila said:


> She's ruthless with her words. She tells men the craziest stuff (emasculating) and they all laugh.
> 
> I'm about to start season 2. Been watching it with Pogo and he's scared of her too. 😂😂. He's says at 51, he doesn't have the energy for handling all of that, all of the time.


Ooooh... well of course she does. Your Hollywood "strong independent woman" 🙄

Yeah won't be watching the show, not my thing anyway I need violence and lore in my shows.


----------



## RandomDude

ccpowerslave said:


> I think this must be fairly new? I have been watching Las Vegas videos for a couple years on YouTube, both to see new slot machines (there are high limit room slot play only) and also to see what new restaurants, hotels, best brunch, etc… kind of stuff. Yesterday after work I turned on YouTube and one of the recommended videos is, “Best time of the year to visit Vegas to pick up sugar daddies.”
> 
> BTW they didn’t recommend April because it was too windy and it can mess up your hair. So I’m not going then to look for sugar daddies.


ROFL WTF 😅


----------



## Faithful Wife

TXTrini said:


> Maybe @Faithful Wife is right and he's a sub, but that's also a huge turnoff. Aren't most submissive men gay or like their balls stepped on, etc?


I wouldn't say most subs are gay, but they definitely have much different fetishes and desires than non-sub or dominant men. These tendencies usually won't turn on a woman who isn't a hard core dom.

I think dom's are just as weird as sub's, to be honest. A person, man or woman, who wants me to get on my knees and regard them as somehow superior to me? I mean, ew. Or conversely, they want me to force them to their knees and "make" them submit to me? Bleah. Can we please just be equals, FFS. 

Not meaning to insult anyone who leans in those directions. It's just not my thang at ALL.


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> To the bolded, I’m glad I’m not the only one who had that thought. It creeped me out a tad. It was way too much too soon. Made me wonder if he’d be one of those who flips his lid if he sees you online on the app after talking for just one day. I’ve had that happen.
> 
> I like parakeets and I don’t like birds lol! Conures are the worst, never again. My ex-husband loves birds so we had several different types over the years and the parakeets were the only ones I could handle. Not too noisy or messy. If I didn’t have a cat I would get one.


There's this damn bird 🐦 same time each day in my courtyard making the most damn annoying noise 😑 

Makes me miss my murderous floofy 😑


----------



## TXTrini

Lila said:


> It's $6.99 per month and I'll tell you.... Totally worth it. If I didn't have it free, I'd get it.
> 
> My favorite service is Discovery+ commercial free for $4.99. love it.


I got a deal during black Friday for $.099/month for 12 months. Just gotta remember to cancel it in November. I got it just to finish watching "The Lost Symbols". I wish there were more seasons, but I watch a cute little show called Chesapeake Bay too (if anyone's looking for a sweet, wholesome show with studly eye candy).


----------



## Lila

TXTrini said:


> I got a deal during black Friday for $.099/month for 12 months. Just gotta remember to cancel it in November. I got it just to finish watching "The Lost Symbols". I wish there were more seasons, but I watch a cute little show called Chesapeake Bay too (if anyone's looking for a sweet, wholesome show with studly eye candy).


That's an awesome deal. Thanks for the recommendations


----------



## Not

RandomDude said:


> There's this damn bird 🐦 same time each day in my courtyard making the most damn annoying noise 😑
> 
> Makes me miss my murderous floofy 😑
> 
> View attachment 95197


Yeah tweety wouldn’t survive in my house. Don’t let this sweet face fool you lol!


----------



## RandomDude

Faithful Wife said:


> I wouldn't say most subs are gay, but they definitely have much different fetishes and desires than non-sub or dominant men. These tendencies usually won't turn on a woman who isn't a hard core dom.
> 
> I think dom's are just as weird as sub's, to be honest. A person, man or woman, who wants me to get on my knees and regard them as somehow superior to me? I mean, ew. Or conversely, they want me to force them to their knees and "make" them submit to me? Bleah. Can we please just be equals, FFS.
> 
> Not meaning to insult anyone who leans in those directions. It's just not my thang at ALL.


It's just sexual roleplaying, last fbuddy called the shots with that. She liked being the dom but she's not submissive in real life, not really anyway. I'm not a dom but I've had only enthusiastic feedback from my performances. Probably the only reason she messaged me back I reckon because seriously WTF?! Unless women are so used to ghosting too it's just normal now.

Anyway we are still chatting kinda but I have burnt this bridge.


----------



## ccpowerslave

My cat was in the window yesterday by the hummingbird feeder. A hummingbird flew up right in front of him maybe 1.5’ from the window and went into hover mode. My cat had angry tail swish swosh motions but no pounce attacks or anything, very sad.


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> Yeah tweety wouldn’t survive in my house. Don’t let this sweet face fool you lol!
> View attachment 95199


OMFG FLOOFY! I know where my face will be buried!!!! 🤗


----------



## RandomDude

ccpowerslave said:


> My cat was in the window yesterday by the hummingbird feeder. A hummingbird flew up right in front of him maybe 1.5’ from the window and went into hover mode. My cat had angry tail swish swosh motions but no pounce attacks or anything, very sad.


Well how high is your window? Also domesticated cats kill for fun and tend to be lazy with their instincts. 





My floofy was a rescue so she had her feral hunting instincts.


----------



## RandomDude

@Not I didn't know you had a floofy! Look at his white paws lol so cute! My floofy had the same color pattern, also the fluffy pants!!! 😅


----------



## Not

RandomDude said:


> @Not I didn't know you had a floofy! Look at his white paws lol so cute! My floofy had the same color pattern, also the fluffy pants!!! 😅


Well then, let me dazzle you with some more kitty porn 😂 Her name is Sarah 😊


----------



## Not

RandomDude said:


> Is she a Mary Sue? I dunno mate, I'm paranoid as hell now.


What’s a Mary Sue?


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> Well then, let me dazzle you with some more kitty porn 😂 Her name is Sarah 😊
> View attachment 95201


OMG his paws are folded in lol too adorable!!!
Lol if I was invited to your place I'm going straight for your cat and burying my face in that cute floofy tummy!! 🤗


----------



## Not

RandomDude said:


> OMG his paws are folded in lol too adorable!!!
> Lol if I was invited to your place I'm going straight for your cat and burying my face in that cute floofy tummy!! 🤗


That’s funny because she loves men lol!


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> What’s a Mary Sue?


Not sure if it's fully appropriate here, I'm kinda having a mental breakdown over my entertainment at the moment 😅 (in 'debating' section)

But here:





Mary Sue - Wikipedia







en.wikipedia.org





Easiest comparison is
Mulan 1998 VS Mulan 2020

Anyway... 2:00 to 3:20


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> That’s funny because she loves men lol!


Careful, your floofy and I might fall in love and elope  😅


----------



## TXTrini

Lila said:


> Curiosity question for the single guys?
> 
> For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


Btw, you got me curious, so I watched a few episodes. Yikes! She's a train wreck! How she's functional after all that booze is a mystery. She's basically medicating with booze and alcohol but behaves like a damned toddler. How's that sexy?


----------



## uwe.blab

TXTrini said:


> Btw, you got me curious, so I watched a few episodes. Yikes! She's a train wreck! How she's functional after all that booze is a mystery. She's basically medicating with booze and alcohol but behaves like a damned toddler. How's that sexy?


I have watched 2 episodes and haven't really gotten into it. You?

@Lila was there a point when you started really liking it?


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> Btw, you got me curious, so I watched a few episodes. Yikes! She's a train wreck! How she's functional after all that booze is a mystery. She's basically medicating with booze and alcohol but behaves like a damned toddler. How's that sexy?


I like a woman who has it together too, but that's just me. I used to be different when I was an alcoholic, now I just can't stand it. One of the biggest nails that ended my relationship with ex-wife a decade ago was my major personality shift since quitting alcohol.

But really, am I less fun? Meh


----------



## TXTrini

uwe.blab said:


> I have watched 2 episodes and haven't really gotten into it. You?
> 
> @Lila was there a point when you started really liking it?


I think I watched 3. I'm still meh about it, but giving it a chance to see if it gets better.



RandomDude said:


> I like a woman who has it together too, but that's just me. I used to be different when I was an alcoholic, now I just can't stand it. One of the biggest nails that ended my relationship with ex-wife a decade ago was my major personality shift since quitting alcohol.
> 
> But really, am I less fun? Meh


I've never been much a drinker, so I looked for someone who didn't drink much. My exH was an alcoholic on top of everything else, it was not great to deal with so I totally get it.


----------



## ConanHub

Hiner112 said:


> View attachment 95146
> 
> View attachment 95145
> 
> 
> I went down an Etsy rabbit hole and got (some of?) my GF's Valentine's Day things. A couple of the things are pictured above.
> 
> I don't have a strong preference for looks but I would like them to be small enough for me to pick up but robust enough that I don't have to worry about being a bit ... vigorous.
> 
> @RandomDude was talking about needing an itch scratched and after a couple days away from the GF I get easily distracted. I'm 45 so this is after a bit of a decline. Coupling and preferably living together is probably the way I'd be happiest.


I want that cup!!!


----------



## Hiner112

ConanHub said:


> I want that cup!!!











Funny Personalized Touch Butt Mug Funny Couple Gift Mug - Etsy


This Mugs item by VINUSLLC has 10 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Visalia, CA. Listed on Jan 4, 2023




www.etsy.com


----------



## In Absentia

TXTrini said:


> Btw, you got me curious, so I watched a few episodes. Yikes! She's a train wreck! How she's functional after all that booze is a mystery. She's basically medicating with booze and alcohol but behaves like a damned toddler. How's that sexy?


She is not quite my type, although I don;t have a type...


----------



## TXTrini

In Absentia said:


> She is not quite my type, although I don;t have a type...


What do you mean when you refer to type?

I've never understood the definition. Is it about esthetics or overall package?🤔 My type is more a personality/intelligence thing. I'm open to a wide variety of esthetics but can't do dumb, however hot.


----------



## In Absentia

TXTrini said:


> What do you mean when you refer to type?
> 
> I've never understood the definition. Is it about esthetics or overall package?🤔 My type is more a personality/intelligence thing. I'm open to a wide variety of esthetics but can't do dumb, however hot.


"Not my type" - to me - means a mix of physical and behavioural features. Not only the looks but also the body language/voice/general behaviour. Of course, not knowing the person, it's pretty difficult to know if we match intellectually and that's a big factor for me. Regarding Beth Dutton, she's pretty, but her face doesn't do it for me... but that could be compensated by her brain part...


----------



## TXTrini

In Absentia said:


> "Not my type" - to me - means a mix of physical and behavioural features. Not only the looks but also the body language/voice/general behaviour. Of course, not knowing the person, it's pretty difficult to know if we match intellectually and that's a big factor for me. Regarding Beth Dutton, she's pretty, but her face doesn't do it for me... but that could be compensated by her brain part...


Conversation and wit is a decent indicator. I'm not much for smalltalk and get bored pretty quick if there's too much of it. I'm not particular about the kind of intelligence, but am a sucker for banter and being able to talk about any and everything. Combine that with some sexiness, and that's irresistible! 

I think Beth Dutton's interesting, but I'm having a hard time watching her meltdowns. Also, I'm intrigued by her cockiness and curious to see if it's warranted.


----------



## In Absentia

TXTrini said:


> Conversation and wit is a decent indicator. I'm not much for smalltalk and get bored pretty quick if there's too much of it. I'm not particular about the kind of intelligence, but am a sucker for banter and being able to talk about any and everything. Combine that with some sexiness, and that's irresistible!
> 
> I think Beth Dutton's interesting, but I'm having a hard time watching her meltdowns. Also, I'm intrigued by her cockiness and curious to see if it's warranted.


I haven't watched the series, so I can't comment on that show. But what you describe is what I go for as well. There has to be a certain level of attractiveness, but, without good conversation, humour and the capacity to talk about almost anything, looks don't count for much.


----------



## Lila

uwe.blab said:


> I have watched 2 episodes and haven't really gotten into it. You?
> 
> @Lila was there a point when you started really liking it?


@uwe.blab I can't remember exactly when it started getting interesting to me but probably about half way through Season 1.


----------



## RebuildingMe

So I’m about to be single again. In reflecting, I’m not sure I know what I want but I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t. I’m actually looking forward to the break.


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> I'm open to a wide variety of esthetics but can't do dumb, however hot.


But so many people are dumb to me 😑 so I still wonder if what happened last year was a missed opportunity.

Even if good heavens my mind like, drifts mid-conversation when we aren't actually flirting or talking about work.


----------



## TXTrini

RebuildingMe said:


> So I’m about to be single again. In reflecting, I’m not sure I know what I want but I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t. I’m actually looking forward to the break.


Hope you're doing ok.


----------



## TXTrini

RandomDude said:


> But so many people are dumb to me 😑 so I still wonder if what happened last year was a missed opportunity.
> 
> Even if good heavens my mind like, drifts mid-conversation when we aren't actually flirting or talking about work.


Ha, not just you. Why you think I couldn't pass up my bf even though I wasn't ready for a relationship? I don't feel like that very often about anyone. 

Sometimes you just have to seize the moment and take a risk. No guts, no glory, right?


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> Ha, not just you. Why you think I couldn't pass up my bf even though I wasn't ready for a relationship? I don't feel like that very often about anyone.
> 
> Sometimes you just have to seize the moment and take a risk. No guts, no glory, right?


Aye, opportunities just don't knock twice. Still, it was work. I'm not ready to commit financial suicide yet.

And at least your boyfriend has his smarts, it's not like your mind drifts mid-conversation with him right? lol
I'm trying to lower my expectations with that but it's very difficult.


----------



## RebuildingMe

TXTrini said:


> Hope you're doing ok.


Doing well, thanks @TXTrini. This is going to be my doing. I’m just waiting for the right time. It’s been long overdue. The older I get, the more set in my ways I’ve become and so the people I’ve met. Uncompromising people will keep me single, and I’m thinking that’s the best path for me now.


----------



## TXTrini

RandomDude said:


> Aye, opportunities just don't knock twice. Still, it was work. I'm not ready to commit financial suicide yet.
> 
> And at least your boyfriend has his smarts, it's not like your mind drifts mid-conversation with him right? lol
> I'm trying to lower my expectations with that but it's very difficult.


You've said yourself she was too dumb for you, so she wasn't the full package. So, what's there to regret?

I had moments of fear where I nearly chickened out and ran away because I wasn't sure I could handle it with everything going on. 

When you meet someone that makes really makes an impression on you, you'll reassess your life and decide on the spot, not give it a second thought, but she might need to meet you halfway. 

My bf was willing to wait for me and take things slow even though he wanted a serious partner. We both took big risks because we both felt strongly enough. You won't be "meh "when it matters.


----------



## TXTrini

RebuildingMe said:


> Doing well, thanks @TXTrini. This is going to be my doing. I’m just waiting for the right time. It’s been long overdue. The older I get, the more set in my ways I’ve become and so the people I’ve met. Uncompromising people will keep me single, and I’m thinking that’s the best path for me now.


Well, it won't get any easier the longer you drag it out, for either of you. Do you think she senses it's coming?

It does sound like the best course, you've been around the block enough to know relationships aren't easy.


----------



## RebuildingMe

TXTrini said:


> Well, it won't get any easier the longer you drag it out, for either of you. Do you think she senses it's coming?
> 
> It does sound like the best course, you've been around the block enough to know relationships aren't easy.


I think she knows it’s coming. She always has to one up me so I was hoping she’d beat to the punch. Nothing so far though ☹


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> You've said yourself she was too dumb for you, so she wasn't the full package. So, what's there to regret?
> 
> I had moments of fear where I nearly chickened out and ran away because I wasn't sure I could handle it with everything going on.
> 
> When you meet someone that makes really makes an impression on you, you'll reassess your life and decide on the spot, not give it a second thought, but she might need to meet you halfway.
> 
> My bf was willing to wait for me and take things slow even though he wanted a serious partner. We both took big risks because we both felt strongly enough. You won't be "meh "when it matters.


The women I seem to go for rarely have time for that. It's either seize the moment or it's gone.
Would be nice to have someone who really makes an impression on me, but I also know I'm deliberately closing as many social channels as I can except for my responsibilities so I just don't see it happening. That one at work was a fluke.

Still, as flukie as it was, I enjoyed the little romance. It was organic, it just felt natural. I just liked her more than all the other women after her with the dating apps.
The thing is, she was too dumb for me only based on our interactions, which I thought of her mind as shallow as a baby pool but really I didn't give her a chance. 

People do small-talk, some personalities like us hate it, but people have their walls too and maybe we just didn't bother to dig a little deeper, that's what fbuddy ironically taught me - we can even learn from our casual sex buddies.
And the reason I didn't really give her a chance was because of the potential consequences.

But yeah, enough of regrets. Should just learn and move on.


----------



## TXTrini

RebuildingMe said:


> I think she knows it’s coming. She always has to one up me so I was hoping she’d beat to the punch. Nothing so far though ☹


To be fair, you let her... seriously though, just do it. If you "bank" sex, you'll be the giant douche user despite the fact that she asked for more.


----------



## TXTrini

RandomDude said:


> The women I seem to go for rarely have time for that. It's either seize the moment or it's gone.
> Would be nice to have someone who really makes an impression on me, but I also know I'm deliberately closing as many social channels as I can except for my responsibilities so I just don't see it happening. That one at work was a fluke.
> 
> Still, as flukie as it was, I enjoyed the little romance. It was organic, it just felt natural. I just liked her more than all the other women after her with the dating apps.
> The thing is, she was too dumb for me only based on our interactions, which I thought of her mind as shallow as a baby pool but really I didn't give her a chance.
> 
> People do small-talk, some personalities like us hate it, but people have their walls too and maybe we just didn't bother to dig a little deeper, that's what fbuddy ironically taught me - we can even learn from our casual sex buddies.
> And the reason I didn't really give her a chance was because of the potential consequences.
> 
> But yeah, enough of regrets. Should just learn and move on.


Yes, you would need to give people a chance and not judge them by their social masks. After all, how stupid could she be considering how successful she is at her age.

I thought my bf was a gameplaying asshat at one time and not worth the effort 😂 ...He thought I wasn't going to crack, I just take time to warm up to people. We laid out cards on the table when I called the bluff.


----------



## RandomDude

TXTrini said:


> Yes, you would need to give people a chance and not judge them by their social masks. *After all, how stupid could she be considering how successful she is at her age.*
> 
> I thought my bf was a gameplaying asshat at one time and not worth the effort 😂 ...He thought I wasn't going to crack, I just take time to warm up to people. We laid out cards on the table when I called the bluff.


Exactly, I wonder if I was just giving myself excuses not to take the risk too. But it was a big risk, like, it's work. You know how it is.

Doesn't stop the regrets though.

Still, do you know how bad it is when she was just +1 to my ex's age? 😑 What's even worse is that her ex was also 14, or 12 yrs older or hell I can't remember the exact age she told me but she went for older guys too, I even subtly and indirectly asked her about it to find out if she's no longer open to older men after her experience but she mentioned she was still open to it and like really, truth is that I stopped at a green light last year with this. 🤦‍♂️

As my mates put it:










But heck, I'm trying to stop cradle robbing.... fbuddy was 11 yrs younger too WTF?!


----------



## Not

Still single lol! Since I’m the only single on Tam who appears to still be looking I’ll share my next story, from yesterday.

I’ve been eyeballing the profile of a man for a couple of weeks but never made a move because he only has one picture and for describing himself the only thing he said is just ask. Not a fan of just ask. But his picture was really good.

so I messaged him yesterday and we chitchat on the app for a few hours and we exchange phone numbers after that. his answers were all very short, but I figured we were both at work so that must explain it.

So we had a phone call planned for the evening and I get home and I call him. After the initial hello’s and how was your day stuff my very first question to him was how would you describe yourself? First time I’ve ever asked anybody that.

He says he doesn’t like that question lol! Why can’t two people just get to know each other by talking?

I’m thinking, but that’s exactly what I’m doing! SMH LOL! I could answer that question and blabber and jabber on for several minutes with my answers. I figured the answer would be super easy and would lead into lots of great topics for conversation but he shut me down. Ok, next.

He’s also a great example as to why not to trust a profile that only has one picture. He sent me another picture via text and it wasn’t good. Funny how the camera can do that because you can easily tell it’s the same person in each picture but the lighting and what not in the first picture must’ve worked some magic.

Onward and upward.


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> Still single lol! Since I’m the only single on Tam who appears to still be looking I’ll share my next story, from yesterday.
> 
> I’ve been eyeballing the profile of a man for a couple of weeks but never made a move because he only has one picture and for describing himself the only thing he said is just ask. Not a fan of just ask. But his picture was really good.
> 
> so I messaged him yesterday and we chitchat on the app for a few hours and we exchange phone numbers after that. his answers were all very short, but I figured we were both at work so that must explain it.


Well I'm also pretty vague in my profile haha, though I would replace "just ask" with "TOP SECRET, inquire for special clearance" 😅

I have lots of photos and even a video though... I know how to present myself hehe  though I get some seriously weird messages sometimes one was like "omg I dream of dating such a handsome asian man!" what the flying F is that as a pickup line?! 
Also she was like a 4 so... >.< 



> So we had a phone call planned for the evening and I get home and I call him. After the initial hello’s and how was your day stuff my very first question to him was how would you describe yourself? First time I’ve ever asked anybody that.
> 
> He says he doesn’t like that question lol! Why can’t two people just get to know each other by talking?
> 
> I’m thinking, but that’s exactly what I’m doing! SMH LOL! I could answer that question and blabber and jabber on for several minutes with my answers. I figured the answer would be super easy and would lead into lots of great topics for conversation but he shut me down. Ok, next.
> 
> He’s also a great example as to why not to trust a profile that only has one picture. He sent me another picture via text and it wasn’t good. Funny how the camera can do that because you can easily tell it’s the same person in each picture but the lighting and what not in the first picture must’ve worked some magic.
> 
> Onward and upward.


Ah yeah he's not ready to open up so next him. I said that on my last legs on dating this girl was like "I want to get to know you" and I was like "I honestly don't feel like talking about myself" of course she buggered off hahahaha


----------



## TXTrini

Not said:


> Still single lol! Since I’m the only single on Tam who appears to still be looking I’ll share my next story, from yesterday.
> 
> I’ve been eyeballing the profile of a man for a couple of weeks but never made a move because he only has one picture and for describing himself the only thing he said is just ask. Not a fan of just ask. But his picture was really good.
> 
> so I messaged him yesterday and we chitchat on the app for a few hours and we exchange phone numbers after that. his answers were all very short, but I figured we were both at work so that must explain it.
> 
> So we had a phone call planned for the evening and I get home and I call him. After the initial hello’s and how was your day stuff my very first question to him was how would you describe yourself? First time I’ve ever asked anybody that.
> 
> He says he doesn’t like that question lol! Why can’t two people just get to know each other by talking?
> 
> I’m thinking, but that’s exactly what I’m doing! SMH LOL! I could answer that question and blabber and jabber on for several minutes with my answers. I figured the answer would be super easy and would lead into lots of great topics for conversation but he shut me down. Ok, next.
> 
> He’s also a great example as to why not to trust a profile that only has one picture. He sent me another picture via text and it wasn’t good. Funny how the camera can do that because you can easily tell it’s the same person in each picture but the lighting and what not in the first picture must’ve worked some magic.
> 
> Onward and upward.


Girl, I gotta say, I'm surprised you didn't steer clear of men like that, regardless of how good his pic was. 

He couldn't be bothered to put effort into his profile, you really think he'd put effort into anything else?

I got some really good advice from someone... interested men act interested. He sounded like a complete waste of time and an idiot.


----------



## LATERILUS79

Lila said:


> Curiosity question for the single guys?
> 
> For those of you who are Yellowstone fans (I'm new to the show) and find Beth Dutton attractive..... She's a beautiful, sexual, successful, man eater but she's also a completely bat **** crazy alcoholic!!! What's it about women like her that attract you?


you’re kidding, right?

Kelly Reilly?!?!


her HUGE personalities!!!!



I haven’t started watching the show yet. Don’t know her character. Just know the actress. Been noticing her for quite some time. 😂


----------



## Not

TXTrini said:


> Girl, I gotta say, I'm surprised you didn't steer clear of men like that, regardless of how good his pic was.
> 
> He couldn't be bothered to put effort into his profile, you really think he'd put effort into anything else?
> 
> I got some really good advice from someone... interested men act interested. He sounded like a complete waste of time and an idiot.


😂😂

I’ve been at this off and on for 4 years now and I have come to the conclusion that these “naked” profiles are masks for much more than just lazy men.

Obviously, some of them are going to be lazy but I think others are men who just literally don’t know what the hell they're doing and yet others still who are completely terrified lol! Then there are the players. Then there are the wishy-washy‘s who don’t know what they want. Then there are the emotionally unavailable’s. another type who I believe is more like me are on there seriously looking but trying to stay in the background.

so I think these naked profiles are like Forrest Gumps, you never know what you’re going to get. And it doesn’t hurt to give them a poke and find out which one they are. But that one picture needs to be really good!


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> 😂😂
> 
> I’ve been at this off and on for 4 years now and I have come to the conclusion that these “naked” profiles are masks for much more than just lazy men.
> 
> Obviously, some of them are going to be lazy but I think others are men who just literally don’t know what the hell they're doing and yet others still who are completely terrified lol! Then there are the players. Then there are the wishy-washy‘s who don’t know what they want. Then there are the emotionally unavailable’s. another type who I believe is more like me are on there seriously looking but trying to stay in the background.
> 
> so I think these naked profiles are like Forrest Gumps, you never know what you’re going to get. And it doesn’t hurt to give them a poke and find out which one they are. But that one picture needs to be really good!


Well for me I just don't like having a public profile like that, at all. It's like getting up on stage and introducing yourself vs having a bunch of interviews. I would prefer the latter if I can help it. I can get some sense of control where all the information goes.

Hence very vague details, also I don't want to bore people, short sweet witty and done. Meh probably why I didn't end up meeting anyone quality but I wasn't exactly looking for that when I went online dating last year, just didn't realise it until later.


----------



## Not

RandomDude said:


> Well for me I just don't like having a public profile like that, at all. It's like getting up on stage and introducing yourself vs having a bunch of interviews. I would prefer the latter if I can help it. I can get some sense of control where all the information goes.
> 
> Hence very vague details, also I don't want to bore people, short sweet witty and done. Meh probably why I didn't end up meeting anyone quality but I wasn't exactly looking for that when I went online dating last year, just didn't realise it until later.


Yeah, I do think it’s that some people are just very private too. 

Us women are very perceptive though, so if you were putting up a lot of good pictures and even a video that would tell me that you’re actually seriously looking, but not wanting to divulge everything online. Your profile would come off as much more open than these profiles that have just one picture and nothing else. At least to me.


----------



## RandomDude

Not said:


> Yeah, I do think it’s that some people are just very private too.
> 
> Us women are very perceptive though, so if you were putting up a lot of good pictures and even a video that would tell me that you’re actually seriously looking, but not wanting to divulge everything online. Your profile would come off as much more open than these profiles that have just one picture and nothing else. At least to me.


Well still only ended up with one after four months who wasn't a complete waste of time... I can't imagine all the average profiles of guys!!!


----------



## TXTrini

Not said:


> 😂😂
> 
> I’ve been at this off and on for 4 years now and I have come to the conclusion that these “naked” profiles are masks for much more than just lazy men.
> 
> Obviously, some of them are going to be lazy but I think others are men who just literally don’t know what the hell they're doing and yet others still who are completely terrified lol! Then there are the players. Then there are the wishy-washy‘s who don’t know what they want. Then there are the emotionally unavailable’s. another type who I believe is more like me are on there seriously looking but trying to stay in the background.
> 
> so I think these naked profiles are like Forrest Gumps, you never know what you’re going to get. And it doesn’t hurt to give them a poke and find out which one they are. But that one picture needs to be really good!


I don't do terrified men, I'd eat them alive. 😆 None of those types you described sound good!


----------



## RandomDude

I wonder if it's a fair question to ask if one prefers surprises vs routine, or if she holds expectations for romance. Do women even know what they want with this?

_"I like being pleasantly surprised by romantic gestures, in other words, I don't want to expect it--or come to expect it because it happens so frequently."_

This is kinda messing with my head, now I wonder if I'm just not good enough or my last relationship was just incompatibilities that were impossible to solve. Still even if the latter would have to overcome the fact that love is not enough either, for a romantic deep down that has still messed with my head for years.

Meh, one thing at a time though I guess, thoughts?


----------



## Lila

LATERILUS79 said:


> you’re kidding, right?
> 
> Kelly Reilly?!?!
> 
> 
> her HUGE personalities!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> I haven’t started watching the show yet. Don’t know her character. Just know the actress. Been noticing her for quite some time. 😂


She is a great actress. You can't help but hate her on Yellowstone. 

It's crazy because she played Mary (Dr. Watsons gf/wife) on the Sherlock Holmes movies. Totally different character.


----------



## LATERILUS79

Lila said:


> She is a great actress. You can't help but hate her on Yellowstone.
> 
> It's crazy because she played Mary (Dr. Watsons gf/wife) on the Sherlock Holmes movies. Totally different character.


That’s where I first noticed her. The wife of Dr Watson in that movie. Don’t remember much else about that movie.


----------



## LisaDiane

RebuildingMe said:


> Doing well, thanks @TXTrini. This is going to be my doing. I’m just waiting for the right time. It’s been long overdue. The older I get, the more set in my ways I’ve become and so the people I’ve met. Uncompromising people will keep me single, and I’m thinking that’s the best path for me now.


I'm sorry to hear this too, but if you are with someone who makes you feel unhappy and frustrated, it's better to be alone so you can find someone else (if you want to).

You don't seem to ever have trouble finding women to date...maybe you should try @Numb26's way of casual dating for awhile? You could enjoy the fun company and companionship when you want to and then have space and freedom when you want to as well, and not have so many expectations that you aren't willing to compromise for that create stress and frustration and conflict.

Or just stay single, if that makes you happy too! Lol!!


----------



## LisaDiane

LATERILUS79 said:


> you’re kidding, right?
> 
> Kelly Reilly?!?!
> 
> 
> her HUGE personalities!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> I haven’t started watching the show yet. Don’t know her character. Just know the actress. Been noticing her for quite some time. 😂


You are such a sensitive guy, the way you notice so much about personalities all the time!! It's great how you know what's the most important thing to look for! Lol!!!


----------



## RandomDude

Sensitive guy 😅


----------



## LATERILUS79

LisaDiane said:


> You are such a sensitive guy, the way you notice so much about personalities all the time!! It's great how you know what's the most important thing to look for! Lol!!!


Well, a woman’s personalities are God’s greatest gift to man. 😁


----------



## RandomDude

Do you guys find first time introductions via friends more cringe than first time meets with online dating? Or is it just me?


----------



## RebuildingMe

LisaDiane said:


> I'm sorry to hear this too, but if you are with someone who makes you feel unhappy and frustrated, it's better to be alone so you can find someone else (if you want to).
> 
> You don't seem to ever have trouble finding women to date...maybe you should try @Numb26's way of casual dating for awhile? You could enjoy the fun company and companionship when you want to and then have space and freedom when you want to as well, and not have so many expectations that you aren't willing to compromise for that create stress and frustration and conflict.
> 
> Or just stay single, if that makes you happy too! Lol!!


Thank you. I think alone is best, at least for now. I still have to drop the hammer. I haven’t yet. I’ve had the kids for a week. We haven’t really seen much of each other, so I think we both know what’s coming. It’s been 2 months since sex. The writing is on the wall. 

I’m not familiar with numb’s dating life. Last I heard he was no longer in the US, so based upon that alone, I’m sure his prospects are better. 

How are you doing? Any dates yet?


----------



## TXTrini

RebuildingMe said:


> Thank you. I think alone is best, at least for now. I still have to drop the hammer. I haven’t yet. I’ve had the kids for a week. We haven’t really seen much of each other, so I think we both know what’s coming. *It’s been 2 months since sex. The writing is on the wall.*
> 
> I’m not familiar with numb’s dating life. Last I heard he was no longer in the US, so based upon that alone, I’m sure his prospects are better.
> 
> How are you doing? Any dates yet?


2 months???! Dude, just rip the bandaid off! THIS time, don't let listen to your **** and be led back into a dead-end relationship. 

@LisaDiane 
So have you been dating? We became single around the same time. Have you put your toe in yet? Seeing someone on the down-low? 😆


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## Faithful Wife

RandomDude said:


> Do you guys find first time introductions via friends more cringe than first time meets with online dating? Or is it just me?


Do you know who Kanika Batra is? She has a tiktok but has also had a presence in social media for quite awhile before that. Was just curious your thoughts on her.


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## Faithful Wife

RebuildingMe said:


> Thank you. I think alone is best, at least for now. I still have to drop the hammer. I haven’t yet. I’ve had the kids for a week. We haven’t really seen much of each other, so I think we both know what’s coming. It’s been 2 months since sex. The writing is on the wall.
> 
> I’m not familiar with numb’s dating life. Last I heard he was no longer in the US, so based upon that alone, I’m sure his prospects are better.
> 
> How are you doing? Any dates yet?


It's weird at first but eventually I got used to the idea of just not even trying to date for now. Mentally it was bizarre because for me that would mean also giving up any partnered sex for now, but once I ok with that the rest was easier. Now all my time goes to working on myself, my family/friend/pet relationships, and developing parts of myself that I couldn't when I was dating or in a relationship.

Hang in there, it gets easier.

Or who knows maybe it will be one of those things where when you stop looking, your partner magically finds you.


----------



## RandomDude

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you know who Kanika Batra is? She has a tiktok but has also had a presence in social media for quite awhile before that. Was just curious your thoughts on her.


Nope, but I'm a curious one so I googled and saw her fish lips so she got categorised pretty quick... 🤮 Then I read the NYpost story on her, reaction? Now I know I'm not a sociopath lol

A lot of the stuff she mentions I can relate but it's never total darkness with me, there's always something I can draw from for empathy. I also feel guilt when I allow it. I developed my own moral code of ethics at 16 though.

It's also a spectrum when it comes to emotions with ASPD and what she claims sounds more like a psychopath than a socio. Psychopaths is a complete void, apparently. Also apparently she cried on camera because of some silly thing online so either she's full of sh-t or is capable of emulating emotions without feeling them. 

I doubt the latter, mostly because, again fish lip fashion. Kinda says a lot. Not good, not good, but I'm judgy like that. 🤣


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## RandomDude

RebuildingMe said:


> Thank you. I think alone is best, at least for now. I still have to drop the hammer. I haven’t yet. I’ve had the kids for a week. We haven’t really seen much of each other, so I think we both know what’s coming. It’s been 2 months since sex. The writing is on the wall.
> 
> I’m not familiar with numb’s dating life. Last I heard he was no longer in the US, so based upon that alone, I’m sure his prospects are better.
> 
> How are you doing? Any dates yet?


Uh oh... starting to feel the itch?

I'm an idiot and burnt the only bridge I had, with a eighter too 🤣


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## Faithful Wife

RandomDude said:


> A lot of the stuff she mentions I can relate but it's never total darkness with me, there's always something I can draw from for empathy. I also feel guilt when I allow it. I developed my own moral code of ethics at 16 though.


You probably only saw/heard a bit of her and she does get misrepresented a lot, because anyone writing about her doesn't actually know or understand the diagnosis. Watch more of her tiktoks. She does talk about having empathy and guilt when she allows them. She's actually pretty fascinating. What she looks like - not sure why that matters, she can't help how she looks.


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## RandomDude

Faithful Wife said:


> You probably only saw/heard a bit of her and she does get misrepresented a lot, because anyone writing about her doesn't actually know or understand the diagnosis. Watch more of her tiktoks. She does talk about having empathy and guilt when she allows them. She's actually pretty fascinating.


Hmmm, ok, I'll dig a bit deeper but will have to be while I'm driving to listen to her. Will pretend she doesn't have a face.



> What she looks like - not sure why that matters, she can't help how she looks.


Yes she can, she just had to not buy into the fish lip fashion and inject crap into herself. But of course she did 🤣

To me, it just says a lot about the type of person she is, not saying she's a bad person that, but again lol that's just me being judgy and I can't help it nor take her seriously with a mouth like that 😅


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## Faithful Wife

RandomDude said:


> Yes she can, she just had to not buy into the fish lip fashion and inject crap into herself. But of course she did 🤣
> 
> To me, it just says a lot about the type of person she is, not saying she's a bad person that, but again lol that's just me being judgy and I can't help it nor take her seriously with a mouth like that 😅


Again - I'm not saying you should date her. Just saying she is fascinating.

Would it surprise you to know she would make the same judgement about you or anyone....if she doesn't like how you look she's going to automatically avoid you 

What I like about her is that she is bringing awareness and understanding to neuro typical folks about these issues in a way we can understand her. We all have some scary notions of what these diagnoses mean, but that's because of lack of education about them.


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## RebuildingMe

TXTrini said:


> 2 months???! Dude, just rip the bandaid off! THIS time, don't let listen to your **** and be led back into a dead-end relationship.


The timing wasn’t right. I had my family in for Christmas this last weekend to see my newly renovated house and she had been invited. She was a big help cleaning and stuff while I was doing all the cooking. I hope to remain friends with her but we don’t make a good partnership. This is also going to be tough on the kids. But it’s what I need to do.


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## RebuildingMe

RandomDude said:


> Uh oh... starting to feel the itch?
> 
> I'm an idiot and burnt the only bridge I had, with a eighter too 🤣


Nah, no itch. Honestly, she stopped satisfying my itch long ago. It took a while to come out, but she is not a sexual person. I think the first year was an act that she couldn’t keep up with.


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## RandomDude

Faithful Wife said:


> Again - I'm not saying you should date her. Just saying she is fascinating.
> 
> Would it surprise you to know she would make the same judgement about you or anyone....if she doesn't like how you look she's going to automatically avoid you
> 
> What I like about her is that she is bringing awareness and understanding to neuro typical folks about these issues in a way we can understand her. We all have some scary notions of what these diagnoses mean, but that's because of lack of education about them.


Well, now that I listened to a few of her videos on youtube I guess the NYpost article and reddit posts don't really do her much justice. Still reckon she gets off on attention (and she admits it), but I like a lot of what she says. She mentions that no sociopath is the same, correct. She acknowledges her feelings, so unlike my previous conclusions, guess she's more believable as a socio. She's rather tame really, throwing a kid down a flight of stairs? I did that too think at year 2? 3? Can't remember lol

Of course you don't guilt or remorse over sh-theads. Ha! 

I wouldn't even think she's any more manipulative then other people. Most people are sh-theads to me, including me, but at least it seems she's willing to acknowledge her sh-ttiness and wants to be self-aware enough to deal with it, that is a plus in my book. I also no longer really like these labels, I prefer "sociopathic traits" than "sociopath". Also honestly, the way I see it, "normal" people can be just as sociopathic as "we" (those diagnosed with ASPD) apparently are, and the labels are just bulleyes to paint on our back. Since understanding that I am very much capable of deep, genuine love I no longer identify as one, and whatever traits I do have I have a new 'identity' to help others understand me without the fear or labels hehehe; enter MBTI 

































Mwwhahahahahhaa I can be sociopathic yet there's nothing wrong with me, it's just my personality hahahaha 

She's more depended on others than me, also reckon she should harden the F up sometimes. Prior to my new identity and ability to love, I always considered myself extremely high functioning. I have mixed feelings about whether what she is doing is beneficial for society as a whole or not (I loathe social justice warriors , and now I know one is just doing it out of principle and not out of actual empathy for the cause... bah!), but hey, I believe she's on her own journey of self-awareness and deserves respect for that. Still reckon she's a fishlipped bimbo though lol


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## RebuildingMe

Faithful Wife said:


> It's weird at first but eventually I got used to the idea of just not even trying to date for now. Mentally it was bizarre because for me that would mean also giving up any partnered sex for now, but once I ok with that the rest was easier. Now all my time goes to working on myself, my family/friend/pet relationships, and developing parts of myself that I couldn't when I was dating or in a relationship.
> 
> Hang in there, it gets easier.
> 
> Or who knows maybe it will be one of those things where when you stop looking, your partner magically finds you.


So I’ve been in my new house just over a year. Prior to that, I was living in my brothers basement apartment. During the divorce, I was dating a lot and meeting anyone I could just to stick it to the ex. She was doing the same. Now, being in my own space, I kinda like it. I think if I met someone with whom I can share life with, it would be acceptable. But I don’t want someone telling me what to do at 51. Current gf seems to offer a lot of unsolicited opinions. You know what they say about people that live in glass houses…


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## TXTrini

RebuildingMe said:


> The timing wasn’t right. I had my family in for Christmas this last weekend to see my newly renovated house and she had been invited. She was a big help cleaning and stuff while I was doing all the cooking. I hope to remain friends with her but we don’t make a good partnership. This is also going to be tough on the kids. But it’s what I need to do.


Understood. I hope you can do it this time, it sounds very unfair to you both.


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## Numb26

RebuildingMe said:


> So I’ve been in my new house just over a year. Prior to that, I was living in my brothers basement apartment. During the divorce, I was dating a lot and meeting anyone I could just to stick it to the ex. She was doing the same. Now, being in my own space, I kinda like it. I think if I met someone with whom I can share life with, it would be acceptable. But I don’t want someone telling me what to do at 51. Current gf seems to offer a lot of unsolicited opinions. You know what they say about people that live in glass houses…


Go with your gut on that gf.


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## Lila

RandomDude said:


> Do you guys find first time introductions via friends more cringe than first time meets with online dating? Or is it just me?


I enjoy meeting new people but always prefer it when introduced by others. 

With online dating, I had to vet everyone from square one. I was automatically looking for the red flags. These people were "unreviewed". 

I feel like the men I was introduced to by my friends had already been vetted for the red flags. Right or wrong, I trust my friends enough to know the quality and type of man I wanted to be introduced to. Having said that, I know my friends had the best of intentions but the men they introduced me to were definitely not a right fit for me.


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## RandomDude

Lila said:


> I enjoy meeting new people but always prefer it when introduced by others.
> 
> With online dating, I had to vet everyone from square one. I was automatically looking for the red flags. These people were "unreviewed".
> 
> I feel like the men I was introduced to by my friends had already been vetted for the red flags. Right or wrong, I trust my friends enough to know the quality and type of man I wanted to be introduced to. Having said that, I know my friends had the best of intentions but the men they introduced me to were definitely not a right fit for me.


I just find it so awkward 😑 
Like yeah, I get over it within 1-2 sentences and break the ice as soon as I can but argh... the initial meet... bleh!!! * cringes * lol

Online dating it's just 1 on 1 so it's better, I'm kinda the same way with mates trying to be a wingman 😑 like stop cramping my style bro!


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## Numb26

RandomDude said:


> I just find it so awkward 😑
> Like yeah, I get over it within 1-2 sentences and break the ice as soon as I can but argh... the initial meet... bleh!!! * cringes * lol
> 
> Online dating it's just 1 on 1 so it's better, I'm kinda the same way with mates trying to be a wingman 😑 like stop cramping my style bro!


You need to come spend some time at my boot camp! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Lila

RandomDude said:


> I just find it so awkward 😑
> Like yeah, I get over it within 1-2 sentences and break the ice as soon as I can but argh... the initial meet... bleh!!! * cringes * lol
> 
> Online dating it's just 1 on 1 so it's better, I'm kinda the same way with mates trying to be a wingman 😑 like stop cramping my style bro!


What's so awkward about it?

Instead of thinking of it as a set up, think of it as one more person you're casually meeting in life.


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## RandomDude

Numb26 said:


> You need to come spend some time at my boot camp! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Lol but I pick up well enough by myself and have zero reservations when I'm alone. 

Maybe it's a control thing and mates always tend to end up saying something stupid when hooking me up 😑


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## RandomDude

Lila said:


> What's so awkward about it?
> 
> Instead of thinking of it as a set up, think of it as one more person you're casually meeting in life.


I think it's because it involves a third party and it's just awkward for me. Three is a crowd. Like a third wheeler. Oh hell the first date I had in my life was the worst, it was a double date and they were smooching 😑 

Also maybe it's because they tend to not be able to resist taking the piss when I'm trying to actively reduce the awkwardness.


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## Lila

😂😂. Oh man, we have a translation problem here. What does "taking a piss" mean?


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## TXTrini

Lila said:


> 😂😂. Oh man, we have a translation problem here. What does "taking a piss" mean?


I'm imagining 2 dudes crossing the streams 😂😂


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## RandomDude

Lila said:


> 😂😂. Oh man, we have a translation problem here. What does "taking a piss" mean?


Guess the equivalent would be to "roast" "make fun of" "having a laugh" "tease" etc. I do it too, actually I do it all the time 😅



TXTrini said:


> I'm imagining 2 dudes crossing the streams 😂😂


OMG lol


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## Numb26

TXTrini said:


> I'm imagining 2 dudes crossing the streams 😂😂


You never cross streams!!!!!


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## TXTrini

RandomDude said:


> Guess the equivalent would be to "roast" "make fun of" "having a laugh" "tease" etc. I do it too, actually I do it all the time 😅
> 
> OMG lol





Numb26 said:


> You never cross streams!!!!!


I was picturing you both, actually 😁


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## Numb26

TXTrini said:


> I was picturing you both, actually 😁


Think I just learned a new side of you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## TXTrini

Numb26 said:


> Think I just learned a new side of you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Like you didn't already know I like to make inappropriate jokes 😂.


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## Numb26

TXTrini said:


> Like you didn't already know I like to make inappropriate jokes 😂.


True! 🤣🤣🤣


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## LisaDiane

TXTrini said:


> @LisaDiane
> So have you been dating? We became single around the same time. Have you put your toe in yet? Seeing someone on the down-low? 😆


Girl, you want me to give up my secrets???


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## TXTrini

LisaDiane said:


> Girl, you want me to give up my secrets???


Naturally! You know all kinds of embarrassing **** about us 😂


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## RebuildingMe

So after two and a half years, I finally had “the talk” with gf tonight and broke up with her. This morning I asked her if she was free this week and she said tonight. When I moved the location from my house to a diner, I think she new the **** was for real. We parted as friends. She said she knew it was coming. 
About 30 minutes before this I was dropping off my daughter at her moms house. I was telling her she lucky to have parents that love and care for her. Mine are gone. She says “dad, you have GF and she’s great!”. This is going to be tough on them…


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## Faithful Wife

RebuildingMe said:


> So after two and a half years, I finally had “the talk” with gf tonight and broke up with her. This morning I asked her if she was free this week and she said tonight. When I moved the location from my house to a diner, I think she new the **** was for real. We parted as friends. She said she knew it was coming.
> About 30 minutes before this I was dropping off my daughter at her moms house. I was telling her she lucky to have parents that love and care for her. Mine are gone. She says “dad, you have GF and she’s great!”. This is going to be tough on them…


Awww…yeah its hard when the kids like a new person and then there’s a breakup. Your daughter will be ok tho. She will see your actions where there was a no drama, still can be friends breakup and she will learn a lot from that.

Don’t wait too long to tell her even tho it may be disappointing. Once you say things ended nicely she will quickly move forward. It’s when things end messy that it also messes kids up.

Take a break and realize you are finally now at a new stage post divorce. It takes a couple years and a couple rebounds to get there. Things get easier from here. We are all proud of ya because we know it’s hard to go through breakups but putting your own best interests first is always the right path.


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## RebuildingMe

Faithful Wife said:


> Awww…yeah its hard when the kids like a new person and then there’s a breakup. Your daughter will be ok tho. She will see your actions where there was a no drama, still can be friends breakup and she will learn a lot from that.
> 
> Don’t wait too long to tell her even tho it may be disappointing. Once you say things ended nicely she will quickly move forward. It’s when things end messy that it also messes kids up.
> 
> Take a break and realize you are finally now at a new stage post divorce. It takes a couple years and a couple rebounds to get there. Things get easier from here. We are all proud of ya because we know it’s hard to go through breakups but putting your own best interests first is always the right path.


Thank you for this. I have a break for a week without the kids and gf was very sparse the last few weeks so I think I have some time. Yes though, I have to tell the kids. It’s actually nice to have a civil break up for a change. I’m definitely laying low for a while. Just my cat and me.


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## Faithful Wife

My bird says “hi cat”.


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## RebuildingMe

Faithful Wife said:


> My bird says “hi cat”.
> View attachment 95561


Milo says hello back


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## RandomDude

RebuildingMe said:


> So after two and a half years, I finally had “the talk” with gf tonight and broke up with her. This morning I asked her if she was free this week and she said tonight. When I moved the location from my house to a diner, I think she new the **** was for real. We parted as friends. She said she knew it was coming.
> *About 30 minutes before this I was dropping off my daughter at her moms house. I was telling her she lucky to have parents that love and care for her. Mine are gone. She says “dad, you have GF and she’s great!”. This is going to be tough on them…*


That's the worst part 😑



RebuildingMe said:


> Milo says hello back
> View attachment 95562


Gawwwhhh... ah hell you'll be fine. You guys got Milo! 🤗


----------



## RebuildingMe

RandomDude said:


> That's the worst part 😑
> 
> 
> 
> Gawwwhhh... ah hell you'll be fine. You guys got Milo! 🤗


That the thing. Kids won’t really understand. We generally got along very well in public settings. Kids have no clue that daddy hasn’t gotten laid in two months!
This cat is the best kind of company!


----------

