# Seperation Success Stories..?



## jogger (Feb 8, 2009)

My wife moved out in December and now we are going through a month of no communication. She asked for this and said it's what she needs to decide if she wants to stay in our marriage. She says she cannot discover this for herself while seeing or communicating with me. She needs to remove me from her life for a period to figure out what she wants. She says she will not date other men but will spend this month of FEB trying to work on herself. I am very sad and really miss her. She lives very nearby and it's difficult for me not to call her or try to see her. Am I doing the right thing by giving her the space she's asking for? Is being apart just going to drive us toward a divorce or is there hope that me giving her space will allow her to realize she wants to be with me. I realize that nobody here can tell the future but are there any stories of seperations that resulted in success? Anyone out there whose spouse wanted "space" and eventually came home?


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

Ive been married 19 years and 6 years ago my husband had a affair,we seperated for 2 months with 3 weeks of me not communicating with him, i couldnt not even for our children because i was so deeply hurt.
to be honest i wanted him to hurt just like i was hurting.
The turning point was when he asked if i could every forgive him!! deep down i knew i could , it didnt mean i would forget it took at least 3 years for me to trust him again, even now when hes late its at the back of my mind...But saying that our relation ship is at a new level now we are totally in love we have a better love life we communicate ...so yes i came home and we rebuilt a loving relationship.


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## scooter (Feb 7, 2009)

how cool Humpty, thanks for sharing


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## al_in_al (Feb 4, 2009)

> Anyone out there whose spouse wanted "space" and eventually came home?


I'd like to know, too.

My husband left this past week to figure out what he really wants. What's the likelyhood that he'll come back to me? Do I leave him alone, or try to "date" him again? He hasn't said that he wants no contact, but the communication has been pretty one-side so far.


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## susan (Apr 18, 2009)

I have recently been through the same with my fiance who said he needed "space". Am feeling very rejected and alone after being together for over 8 years. All contact has been initiated by him, don't know if it is guilt..


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## tryingtobestrong (Apr 12, 2009)

I have been separated for two months and two days..my husband left me, so I am in a similar situation..

I, too, was hoping to hear "success stories" here, but if you really think about it, how many people are still going to visit this web section if they get back together? Not many I am thinking...

So, I am thinking that maybe we all need to support each other with a little of our own stories, a little advice, and support...

So that we can grow and survive and hope for our own happy ending, but at the same time, vent and cry together if we head towards a different ending...

Thanks for all of you being here....


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## foreverhurt (Mar 15, 2009)

I too wanted to hear a few success stories, not that it would mean it would happen to me. I'm feeling pretty good about where my husband and I are heading, but so many doubts. It's hard road to travel, no matter which way things go.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

If he's asking for space for 1 month, give it to him. Work on yourself, explore your life and let him wonder how you are doing? HE will be. 

Either way, make this about you.


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## susan (Apr 18, 2009)

Hi Corpuswife,
Actually there was no time limit, and now he is referring to it as a "break-up". I know he was depressed about work-related issues, and we talked a lot about these, but he has somehow associated the bad things in his life with me, probably because I was the closest person to him. Sure, things weren't perfect in the relationship, but then no relationship is perfect. I am struggling so much, don't know how to cope, even though I am trying to focus on myself, and better myself..


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## sinatra (Apr 6, 2009)

Any update from Jogger on this one? 

These are tough times for a lot people. Going through the same thing, however my W separated and said she needed time to figure out what she wanted. Then sent me an email saying that she wanted a D. Broke my heart and then I found out that there is a OM in the picture, broke it again. I've contacted an attorney and doing NC with W at this point. Trying to move forward with my life and holding on the divorce for a little while. 

You have to live your life and move on one way or the other. You can't always think of how it used to be because that will never be again, no matter what happens. If they do come back it has to be to something new for the both of you IMO.


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## muss08 (Apr 29, 2009)

Hello all. New to the forums- i am in a similar situation. My wife and I have been married only two months and we are already separated. This has been hell for me. We have always had our problems but didnt realize the extent until the separation. Truth be told we are both depressed- we lost touch years ago (dated for 9 years/ lived together for the past 5) and every time one of us started to really try to reconnect the other one has not put enough effort into it. She feels like we are not "right" together and wanted the separation. She said she needs some time to figure out what she wants. So what choice do i have? I am head of heels in love with her and not regret not giving it my all when she has reached out to me in the past. A couple of weeks before the separation I was giving it my all and she was not. She did say she wanted to try counseling so maybe there is hope. My biggest question is how am I supposed to act around her? I dont want to be my normal loving self because she will see that as being pushy and not giving her space. I dont want to be distant either. Can anyone give me some advice? Are there any "success" stories? Does counseling work?


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Counseling usually does work...However, it takes both of you to make a marriage work, so both of you need to follow the counselors advice, including reading/watching any suggested books/ videos.

I wish you the best in your efforts.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

This may not be a separation success story yet...but it's a step in the right direction. 

My wife and I, married 21 years with two teenage children, separated a year after intensive counseling (for various reasons). We have been apart for 14 months. We have also each talked to divorce attorneys. I drew up the Parenting Plan and Marital Dissolution Agreement and discussed it with her...ready to file it.

Yesterday, my 16 yr old son (who understands some of the issues), asked us to discuss things (without arguing), one more time and try to get back together. If it works out great. If not, he said he'd understand that we at least gave it one more try. 

My wife and I had a long conversation via Instant Messaging tonight and I agreed that even though all the issues haven't been resolved, I may move back home and we'd see how it goes. We'd take it slow.

We'll see what happens. This may be a separation success story OR a reconciliation failure.

Stay tuned.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

only one thing to say malibu...

YEAY!!!!

must feel good...


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Malibu17 said:


> This may not be a separation success story yet...but it's a step in the right direction.
> 
> My wife and I, married 21 years with two teenage children, separated a year after intensive counseling (for various reasons). We have been apart for 14 months. We have also each talked to divorce attorneys. I drew up the Parenting Plan and Marital Dissolution Agreement and discussed it with her...ready to file it.
> 
> ...


So, eleven years later, did it work out?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I would divorce her myself.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

moco82 said:


> So, eleven years later, did it work out?


His later unrelated posts say that he divorced later that year (2009). I feel for those in this thread. The “where are they now” bit doesn’t look good.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This is a zombie thread. The OP has not been here since 2009.

I'm locking the thread.


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