# Is This Unusual?



## Deedsman (Aug 2, 2014)

_
--EXPLICIT WARNING-- 

Sorry, without details would leave too many thoughts unanswered._

Long time reader here on the forum, but first time poster. I always thought someone with a similar situation might post and answer my question, but see nothing like it even similar.

I’ve got a good wife – well, maybe not as much sex\intimacy as I’d like- but overall life is OK. What keeps coming back into my mind is a scenario from about 10 years ago with an old girlfriend. This particular act had never happened before or after my 2 year encounter with her.

Sharon (the girlfriend) and I had a great, active sex life. Our not being together now is certainly not sexually related. Unfortunately, job related travel kept us frequently apart. But any night we were together, enthusiastic (from both parties) sex was a given. What happened in the mornings as we awakened is the memory I keep returning to and wondering if this is very common.

We usually slept naked in the spooning position, with me behind. When the alarm went off to wake us, neither of us would say a word. In fact, if anything was said, the mood was broken. What she desired was for me to enter her roughly while in that spooning position. No foreplay. Just put the typical morning erect PIV - in one hard lunge- to the max, then pound away completely without any concern for her pleasure. If I was not forceful enough, she would push her pelvis back to increase it. At my climax, she sometimes would say something like “Oh, baby, fill me up!” or “Put it in there”. She had no interest in an orgasm for herself, just wanted it fast and hard from me. She would then silently go get her shower, and then come back to kiss me Good Morning. We would then dress, and would typically leave for work. Everyone satisfied and happy.

Before someone comments she was simply accommodating my desires, it wasn’t. If I was slow to awaken, she would wiggle her rear against me to signal her desire. If I didn't awaken with the erection ready, she was visibly disappointed.

What she did tell me about these episodes was while at work, she liked to sit at her desk and feel the results of our morning play. She liked the reminder coming from the soreness of the rough act, and the dampness seeping from her. I do know she fixated on the semen, due to her showing me sometimes at lunch dates of our wetness still there. Said it was important to her knowing part of me was still inside of her being carried around all day. 

No, she wasn’t wanting to fall pregnant. A pregnancy would have been disastrous for the both of us, especially her and her career.

My question for our esteemed group here is whether this silent, rough morning sex is very common, or had I discovered the unicorn and was too dumb to know it? Should I look back on this time in my life as just a one-in-a-million event, or is this something more women like than I know of?

I’ve been with my fair share of women, and Sharon is the only one like this I’ve found. It was a great wake up call, Sure wish I could train the wife into this, but it's not even a consideration. LOL

Thanks for your responses and thoughts!


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

not that unusual...for a younger woman. Not likely after you have been married 20+ years though.

I often like to play with my wife so that I get her smell onto my fingers, to remind me all morning about her.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I don't think unusual at all. Women like to feel seeded by their man.

Particularly by me.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

So you were together sporadically, over two years. It was likely just the newness of the situation. If you were still with her I doubt that 10 years in she'd be after you like this every morning. It was more about the newness of the relationship than anything else, the invigorating sensation of this type of sex would have worn off for you or her by now.

Likely you are just wishing to still have this as an option in your sex life and the fact it seems like you can't is what is fuelling these feelings. You miss the acceptance you used to get and resent the rejection you get now.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Ummm... Kind of standard around here too. Raw, unabated, physical desire.

Why would that behavior be unusual for two people who are in love and wildly attracted to each other?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Not unusual.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I don't know if its unusual or not, but I like that. 

Not awake enough to think an orgasm is even possible for me, but the lusty, rough wake up when you are still rather drowsy. 

I think I would even like it if I were fully asleep to start, but haven't gotten to try that out.


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## Deedsman (Aug 2, 2014)

Thank you all for the input so far, hope to get a lot more to build a larger consensus. Keep those cards and letters coming, as they used to say in the old days of TV.  

I do need to correct one comment previously. It was about 18 years ago when Sharon and I were active, not 10 as stated previously. My, my, my how time gets by… seems like yesterday.

Hmmm... So far, from the responses I've read so far (and hope for more) sounds like somehow, I’ve managed to have lived a sheltered life. 
.
Yes, I've experienced receiving and giving passion before, just never any other like Sharon's particular brand of the every morning possible, half-asleep, slide down and shove-it-in to-the-max and fill-me-up mornings. The simplicity of no foreplay, her desire for sudden and full penetration, and hard pounding strokes without any desire for her orgasm. Her attitude of "Just inseminate me so I can get up and begin my day sore, full, and happy". Yep, one of a kind for me. It’s a miracle we didn’t tear her.

I’ll reference *Kingsfan* ’s comment below:

_So you were together sporadically, over two years. It was likely just the newness of the situation. If you were still with her I doubt that 10 years in she'd be after you like this every morning. It was more about the newness of the relationship than anything else, the invigorating sensation of this type of sex would have worn off for you or her by now.

Likely you are just wishing to still have this as an option in your sex life and the fact it seems like you can't is what is fuelling these feelings. You miss the acceptance you used to get and resent the rejection you get now._

Very intuitive second paragraph comment there, Kingsfan. As I said, the wife and I have an adequate sex life for someone in their mid-fifties. But your statement about the wanting what you can’t have is so true. Every time I tried this with the wife, I get a “No, I’m not ready, It’ll hurt”, “Just wait”. OK, I wait. A pot of coffee for her later, the news watched and discussed… somehow the mood (not even to mention the throbbing) is over from the first awakening. It's just not the same. And as we all know from at least reading TAM, certainly there is a sense of rejection there.

I’m sure this is a case on wanting what isn’t available at the moment. But I still wonder if Sharon’s type of no-prelude mornings are so common.


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## CarlaRose (Jul 6, 2014)

I understand you miss Sharon's romps each morning, but you didn't have it before you married your wife, so I feel it unfair of you to expect of her. It's not fair that you expect her to live up to something you shared with another woman.

I don't like hard pounding any day or any time of day, but I do love waking to him at 4am and then going back to sleep until time to rise. I feel like he's with me all day long. If he doesn't awaken and attack me in the pre-dawn hours, my whole day is off.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Have you considered that this was simply a bit of dom/sub play that Sharon was into? It sounds like she enjoyed the "being taken", submission, you "marking your territory" aspects of this.

Apparently, your wife isn't into the same thing. I'm not sure I'd be into rough sex, with no foreplay and no lubricant and no orgasm for me, every single morning either. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, it's just not my personal preference as a usual thing. And, frankly, if you tried this with a post-menopausal woman with no lubricant, there's a decent chance that you actually would hurt her. So, your wife's not wrong there, and apparently she's not into pain.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

Many women like rough sex with a creamy ending. That's the essence of it whether it happens every day or every month, in the morning or in the evening, etc.

It's great that she was open with you that she likes it that way. Many women enjoy this without really talking about it (i.e. being open that they like it this way and encouraging it). Perhaps because some may feel that they are supposed to like a more loving variety including foreplay that focuses on her needs.


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## Deedsman (Aug 2, 2014)

*CarlaRose*:

_I understand you miss Sharon's romps each morning, but you didn't have it before you married your wife, so I feel it unfair of you to expect of her. It's not fair that you expect her to live up to something you shared with another woman.

I don't like hard pounding any day or any time of day, but I do love waking to him at 4am and then going back to sleep until time to rise. I feel like he's with me all day long. If he doesn't awaken and attack me in the pre-dawn hours, my whole day is off._

You are so very correct in it being unfair in expecting one woman to fulfill another woman's role in anything. We are all so different as individuals, and I don't resent DW's choice in not preferring this type of morning sex. Did I like it before? *Yes*. But had it been that important in my life, I would have made sure somehow to work things out with Sharon so my mornings could continue as they were. Alas, that was not to be.

My looking wistfully back is again one more of curiosity about the frequency of occurrence in couples of this sort of activity than wanting to replicate it. It wasn't the end-all, be-all of my or our lives. Otherwise, I'd listened to her frequent, near-constant b*t**ing about almost every subject known to man (or woman, in this case LOL). Her general attitude towards life was what made me walk away. It sure wasn't her libido or desires.

Thanks for the thoughts, though.

And you're right, nothing starts off a good day like that good 0400 lovin', followed by a good nap...


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## Deedsman (Aug 2, 2014)

*ROWAN*:

_Have you considered that this was simply a bit of dom/sub play that Sharon was into? It sounds like she enjoyed the "being taken", submission, you "marking your territory" aspects of this.

Apparently, your wife isn't into the same thing. I'm not sure I'd be into rough sex, with no foreplay and no lubricant and no orgasm for me, every single morning either. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me, it's just not my personal preference as a usual thing. And, frankly, if you tried this with a post-menopausal woman with no lubricant, there's a decent chance that you actually would hurt her. So, your wife's not wrong there, and apparently she's not into pain._

Man, lots of good thinking here on TAM, and Rowan, I think you’re spot on. I’ve always thought it was a little Dom/Sub scenario going on in her head with our morning routine. The silence of the entire time is what especially rings with me in this…almost like it was an anonymous encounter. Total silence (other than the previously mentioned whispers during my climax) from her shutting off the alarm, the act, and then her getting up to get her shower, after which she would come greet me good morning as sweetly as anyone could ever want. She is a very dominant personality in business ( a VP in a medium sized retail specialty chain), and I think your observation is correct. I' believe she felt some sort of need to be “put into her place” (so to speak) mentally in establishing her day with me. The rough mounting was what she wanted and needed.

As far as the lubrication issue you mention, it was NEVER dry sex. She was always still very wet with the results of the prior evening’s play within, so dry wasn’t much of a consideration. Perhaps not open, swollen, etc which comes naturally with a woman’s fresh arousal…but it was what she liked. 

And age does make a big difference as you note. Post-menopausal is a lot more delicate there, I realize.

And you're right, you're not wanting this sort of thing isn't wrong or bad, agreed. We're just all wired differently.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

This is not unusual. Morning sex is awesome. Usually, though, I like the orgasm that follows; not having one makes me linger in that state of longing -- maybe it's a state of mind your ex enjoyed hanging onto in a kind of tantric way...


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Deedsman said:


> Every time I tried this with the wife, I get a “No, I’m not ready, It’ll hurt”, “Just wait”. OK, I wait. A pot of coffee for her later, the news watched and discussed… somehow the mood (not even to mention the throbbing) is over from the first awakening. It's just not the same. And as we all know from at least reading TAM, certainly there is a sense of rejection there.


Not once ever with my wife. We've been together for 35 years. She has said directly it will never ever happen. Period. For many years I tried but she would reject me. Then she'd go out and turn on the Saturday morning cartoons while she ate a bowl of cereal. Yeah it is a big feeling of rejection to lose out to Bugs Bunny and Cheerios.

I don't know what this is about, but it seems that morning sex is desired at least sometimes. I'm guessing (totally guessing) it has to do with her sex abuse history.

I suspect your wife has some sort of issue she isn't telling you about. Maybe she worries that she isn't clean in the morning. Maybe she just feels used by you because she knows she won't have enough foreplay to get to orgasm. Maybe she has a highly romantic view of sex, that it should always be gentle lovemaking.

If you can talk to her safely about it, you might find what is driving her dislike for morning sex.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

If you are in a sexually fulfilling marriage where both of you are perfectly happy with frequency and quality of sex then I think past 'encounters' stay just that; in the past.

However when one or other is not happy then yes I do think we tend to think back to the 'wonderful' sexlife we had with previous partners.

I know I do. 
I recall one particular GF who loved giving and receiving 'head'...was 'game' for most things. We had a fantastic sex life. Quite the opposite of what I have now.


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