# My story :(



## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

I have been a lurker for awhile but now am able to tell my story since it has finally been made clear to me. I have been with my H for 15 years, we met at 21, married at 23. It took us a really long time to have kids due to medical issues. I started seeing issues then, he wouldn't come to doctors appointments then to the fertility specialist. I had to go for many invasive procedures and had to go by myself because he was working. Then we finally got pregnant and he wouldn't come to dr appointments...because he was working. She was born by C section, he stayed for one night, the other two he stayed at home. Fast forward 4 years, I had a horrible second trimester miscarriage, he was almost annoyed that he had to drive me to the hospital, because apparently thats what ambulances are for. Thats where things started heading south for us. I fell into a deep depression, and he started a WOW addiction. Last year we both knew this was coming to a close, but just were too scared to say it for our D sake. Finally, in July, we had that conversation that we were just roommates basically and I would start looking for work and D and I would move. We were friendly, happy, I thought we were going to have the most amicable divorce in history. 

Then on Monday, it all changed. About a year ago he started going to a bar his uncle owns on the weekends, I don't drink so I said go and have fun. Then he joins a baseball team with some friends from the bar. No big deal. Then he is changing his cellphone password, his email password, his Facebook password. Hmmmmm....that seems strange but whatever. Then there are pictures of him and this girl on Facebook at baseball games. He is also getting so drunk of Saturday nights that he crashes at a friends place. I knew that something was going on and I had even said, I know where we are heading, just tell me whats happening, don't lie to me. No no no, nothing had happened, she was a friend. Well on Monday I was sitting at my desk and I get a phone call. I pick it up and hear him talking, his cellphone had pocket dialed me while he was talking to her on his work phone. It was a pretty boring conversation to start off but then I heard "if I didn't know any better, I would think I was pregnant already". WTF??? I screamed his name to get his attention and the cat was out of the bag. It took me awhile to finally drive home to have the conversation that needed to be had. As it turns out, they have talked about it and are trying to have a baby!!! That broke my heart more than him sleeping with her though I don't get why he couldn't wait for another month when I was gone. We aren't even technically seperated and they are already planning children? I don't know what to make of that.

Anyway, thats my story. I now am staying in a house with a man that I cannot even look at when a few days ago, he was one of my best friends. How quickly things change


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

If you are deep in the divorce process, then you just need to know, you married the wrong person, he is scum for jumping the gun, and you need to steel yourself to what is going on, and try and forget about him, he is a jerk, and there is nothing else to say

I don't know what your marital financial situation is---but doing what he is doing is probably eating up your community assets---If you haven't already---put the community financial assets in your name ONLY, cancel all credit cards, cept your own, as you will be responsible for his CC debt, until you split up---and protect yourself---Make sure you get half of each and every one of his paychecks---if you have an atty., he will know what to do.

It may be extremely hard for you to do, but by now, you know that he is a jerk, and emotionally, you just have to move on

One other thing---make sure in knows he is still responsible for the support of his child with you, no matter what he is doing with other women!!!!!!!


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## Sindo (Oct 29, 2011)

Why do you care?

Yes, you are not technically divorced, but at this point it's practically a legal formality. Yes, he broke the rules, but you've made it clear you don't want him anymore. You're leaving.

What he did was wrong. But unless you still actually wanted to be with him, it shouldn't matter to you. Move on with your life like you were going to anyway.


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## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

I think for me the hardest part is the whole wanting to have a new baby with a woman that he has seen on the weekends for a past couple of months. That and the betrayal of it all, I thought he was better than that. I know that we were going to seperate ways and to be honest, yes I am still in love with the guy but I know I am not giving him what he needs and I don't know what it is that he wants because he can't express himself emotionally at all. I suggested counselling but it was a waste of time because he just say there, staring at the floor. What he did say didn't make sense just because he couldn't express it coherently.

I really do want him to be happy but this whole baby thing has me upset. I want him to take time, heal then find what he is looking for. This to me seems like he is just trying to fill a void that I wasn't filling and seems like a mistake but that is probably just my pain talking.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

KatiezMomma said:


> I think for me the hardest part is the whole wanting to have a new baby with a woman that he has seen on the weekends for a past couple of months. That and the betrayal of it all, I thought he was better than that. I know that we were going to seperate ways and to be honest, yes I am still in love with the guy but I know I am not giving him what he needs and I don't know what it is that he wants because he can't express himself emotionally at all. I suggested counselling but it was a waste of time because he just say there, staring at the floor. What he did say didn't make sense just because he couldn't express it coherently.
> 
> I really do want him to be happy but this whole baby thing has me upset. I want him to take time, heal then find what he is looking for. This to me seems like he is just trying to fill a void that I wasn't filling and seems like a mistake but that is probably just my pain talking.


Stop making sense


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

Sindo said:


> Why do you care?
> 
> Yes, you are not technically divorced, but at this point it's practically a legal formality. Yes, he broke the rules, but you've made it clear you don't want him anymore. You're leaving.
> 
> What he did was wrong. But unless you still actually wanted to be with him, it shouldn't matter to you. Move on with your life like you were going to anyway.


:iagree: ; Like "totally man".

Yet.....as Mr Rogers used to say (amongst many sayings  )










"Can you say..'denial?'...i thought u could..!"


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Katie's,

Vent away. It always hurts when you find our your stbx does things with others that you always wished they would do with you.

However, from your brief description it sounds as if your stbx is very selfish, and I would even guess narcissistic. I mean, what caring husband would actually complain about taking his wife to the hospital. 

You will be pleasantly surprised when you find a real man. I know you said you still love him, but remember that he took away one of the moments in life that are supposed to be among the best memories with his selfish attitude. A real man does not act the way he did.

I wonder how enthusiastic his girlfriend would be about your stbx if she knew all the gory details about your child birthing experiences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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