# I Need Help!!



## LostInLove2012 (Dec 29, 2012)

I need the best cheapest iPhone spyware I can get. I have to follow my gut. I know it's still happening! Gps said he wasn't at work when he should have been today!! There are yahoo inquiries near where ow lives on his phone. He has gotten really really good about deleting his texts and phone calls and I need proof before I go insane. But we share an apple account and iCloud account so I have to do whatever it is I need to do while he is asleep. Please please please help!!


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

If he's good with the phone, you've got to be careful with the spyware.

I suggest buying a voice-activated recorder and some heavy duty velcro and placing it under the front seat of his car. Cheaters love to talk to each other in the car. You should have your evidence within a week.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

LostInLove2012 said:


> I need the best cheapest iPhone spyware I can get. I have to follow my gut. I know it's still happening! Gps said he wasn't at work when he should have been today!! There are yahoo inquiries near where ow lives on his phone. *He has gotten really really good about deleting his texts and phone calls *and I need proof before I go insane. But we share an apple account and iCloud account so I have to do whatever it is I need to do while he is asleep. Please please please help!!


A basic rule of reconciliation, of re-establishing trust, is that NOTHING gets deleted. Have you established that with your husband? 

You match up the phone bill to his call log and if anything is deleted, you know he's up to something.

Other basic rules to re-establish trust are that he lets you know where he is 24/7 and he always answers when you call. Is it that hard to let you know "I'm at work now"; "I'm in the deli getting lunch now"; "I'm coming home now." That doesn't seem like a lot of calls to let you know where he is. It doesn't seem overwhelming for him to do that, and truly repentant cheaters who want to save their marriages are HAPPY to do it because they know it rebuilds trust. He should want you to be able to track him through gps to help you rebuild trust - what would he have to hide?

Do you have all passwords to his phone and email and Facebook and you can check any time you want?

Let me ask you something - would you care if he knew where you were 24/7? Would you care if he knew the passwords to your phone and email and Facebook? Would you care if he tracked you through gps?


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## LostInLove2012 (Dec 29, 2012)

I do have all of his passwords to everything and he has told me I can check anything I want any time I want. And I don't have proof that he is actually deleting anything from his phone because we use net10 and they don't keep records like "real" contract companies do. But I have major red flags going on!

First, last weekend we were at my moms and he was showing her a picture on his phone. While my mom has the phone he got a text that said "I need to see you". He said it was ow saying she was going to file a police report giants m for sending her a no contact email. Lol. He said he didn't reply but deleted the text.

Second, today he had to work . He had told me yesterday that he thought he would be able to get off at noon but it turned out he had to work until 3:30. Well that gut thing came kicking and screaming in so I activated find my iPhone for th first time. It clearly showed me at our house but showed WH at a mall about 30 miles away from where he works and extremely far from where we live. But wouldn't you know it was quite close to ow! I should have kept it to myself but blew up at him by text. Magically his phon disappeared off the gps radar, he wouldn't answer his phone, and his iMessages were turned off do an hour! Then magically his gps turned back on and there he was at work! He answered his phone and said e had been outside talking to his boss and couldn't answer me. He said, I have about 300-400 people here that can verify that I have been here all day. Your can all my boss. I am not messin around on you anymore. What Else do I have to do to prove that?? He didn't even get mad that I accused him, he said it was his fault that I am th way I am now and he would just have to deal with it until he earns my trust back. And so I thought, okay I don't really have "proof" what if the technology glitches. So I let it go and we had a really nice evening. That is until he fell asleep and I checked his browser history on his phone. There are map lookups for a restaurant right up the road from where ow lives. And she lives a good 30 miles from us. I'm sorry but this is all way to much "coincidence".


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

He deleted the text when you were at your mom's even though he knew he wasn't supposed to delete anything.

GPS technology doesn't "glitch" like that.

The browser history looking for restaurants seals the deal.

So you know he is lying to you.

You don't need indisputable evidence to get a divorce. You don't need any evidence at all. You know what you know. Why go on with this lying cheater? Is this how you want to live your life?

What consequences are there for cheating? And lying? And then doing it again?


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

LostInLove2012 said:


> He said, I have about 300-400 people here that can verify that I have been here all day. Your can all my boss. I am not messin around on you anymore. What Else do I have to do to prove that?


You want to see him poop his pants? Tell him you are coming in with him to work Monday to ask all his co-workers if he really was there between 12 and 3:30. I bet his story about 300-400 witnesses changes real fast.


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## LostInLove2012 (Dec 29, 2012)

I don't want to divorce him. I want his to change. Lol, how pathetic does that sound? I love my husband with every fiber of my being, even after all of this. We have a perfect life. We are best friends. He is an amazing father. We have a fantastic sex life. Why is that not enough for him?? I don't want to walk away!!!!!!! But I don't know how to fix this!?!? I am so lost......


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

LostInLove2012 said:


> I don't want to divorce him. *I want his to change.* Lol, how pathetic does that sound? I love my husband with every fiber of my being, even after all of this. We have a perfect life. We are best friends. He is an amazing father. We have a fantastic sex life. Why is that not enough for him?? I don't want to walk away!!!!!!! But *I don't know how to fix this*!?!? I am so lost......


Well, that's how you see it, anyway. I guess he doesn't share your viewpoint.

You can't change him and YOU can't fix it. He has to do that.

You are in for a lifetime of hurt and disappointment if you think you can change people and fix them.


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## LostInLove2012 (Dec 29, 2012)

I know only he can fix it. But he's not and I don't know how to walk away. I can't walk away. Its almost like I am waiting for him to say its over so I don't have to. It hurts too bad to face the reality of it. My got I have two small children, one is only 8mths. And my 6yrvold son worships the ground his daddy walks on. How do I walk away and destroy their lives? Why did he do his to us???


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## Louise7 (Nov 8, 2012)

This man is lying to you. Presumably you insisted on no contact? He's broken that. He took time out from work to meet her at a restaurant - that much at least is fact. That in and of itself is enough. 

Divorce papers plopping into his lap might make him wake up but it doesn't sound like it. I would go that route plus the 180. As Will says, tell him you are going to work with him to ask his colleagues where he was. Bet he gets a little green around the gills then.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Louise7 said:


> This man is lying to you. Presumably you insisted on no contact? He's broken that. He took time out from work to meet her at a restaurant - that much at least is fact. That in and of itself is enough.
> 
> Divorce papers plopping into his lap might make him wake up but it doesn't sound like it. I would go that route plus the 180. As Will says, tell him you are going to work with him to ask his colleagues where he was. Bet he gets a little green around the gills then.


:iagree:


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Research Mobile-Spy and invest in an annual subscription. You will need 5-15 min alone with his phone. It is a very useful software that may help you confirm/dismiss your suspicions. I've used it with great success in the past. Send a PM if you have any questions.


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