# Why men are walking away from dating apparently...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.

However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄

For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


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## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

I agree with everything in this video. This is a good video. I guess each to his own, because our experiences are all different.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

As someone who spends some time listening to the Red Pill side of things, men have a lot of very good reasons to walk away from dating. Women are giving away sex easy enough and most of the single ones don't offer much else. Why stick around? No offense to the ladies that do offer plenty more, I know you exist, there just aren't enough of you to go around.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> As someone who spends some time listening to the Red Pill side of things, men have a lot of very good reasons to walk away from dating. Women are giving away sex easy enough and most of the single ones don't offer much else. Why stick around? No offense to the ladies that do offer plenty more, I know you exist, there just aren't enough of you to go around.


This is what I am finding too. Besides sex they don't really offer much.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Back in the day, I said screw it. I was sick and tired of women. I couldn't find a woman that had not been around the block at least once or was just looking for a baby daddy to support her offspring. Seems like I could only find the ones that wanted to just ride the pony, but did not want to just ride this pony only. They were carousel riders in it for the sex and we're not into a LTR. 

I said Lord I'm done looking, if you want me with someone, you put me with that one. About a month later I met my wife, she was sick of men, going through divorce from cheating ex, and had prayed same thing I had. She was as adverse to screwing around and cheaters as I was and I thought georgeous.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

I don’t disagree. For many men it’s not worth it. But it goes the other way too. There is nothing a man has to offer me that I need. I don’t even need the sex because apparently that’s connected to emotional connection for me, so even better.

I really like your story @Divinely Favored, I feel the same. If the good Lord has a plan then so be it, but I won’t accept anything less. If that man never comes around that’s amazing. I rather like being single and unencumbered by bullpoopy.

But the great thing about all of this is that there is enough men and women in the world to all use each other for sex and nothing else if they want. I just don’t happen to be one of those and I’m good with everyone else having at it. Enjoy!


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> As someone who spends some time listening to the Red Pill side of things, men have a lot of very good reasons to walk away from dating. Women are giving away sex easy enough and most of the single ones don't offer much else. Why stick around? No offense to the ladies that do offer plenty more, I know you exist, there just aren't enough of you to go around.


The more I read and see y’all, the more I realize just how hard it’s going to be for me to find you.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Numb26 said:


> Besides sex they don't really offer much.


And I don’t even offer that. 😅 

It is true - I don’t provide anything that would be appealing to a man. I’m not going to cook or clean. I don’t know what else is on a random list, but I probably don’t do it.

I kind of mourn our independence, because I actually really like the idea of genuinely needing one another to survive and working hard as a community to make that happen.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> This is what I am finding too. Besides sex they don't really offer much.


Dude, Tom Brady is divorced now. His wife was banging her Jiu Jitsu instructor and left him. The GOAT can't even keep a girl. Talk about disheartening for men.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

minimalME said:


> And I don’t even offer that. 😅
> 
> It is true - I don’t provide anything that would be appealing to a man. I’m not going to cook or clean. I don’t know what else is on a random list, but I probably don’t do it.
> 
> I kind of mourn our independence, because I actually really like the idea of genuinely needing one another to survive and working hard as a community to make that happen.


Unfortunately that is how life is now


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Dude, Tom Brady is divorced now. His wife was banging her Jiu Jitsu instructor and left him. The GOAT can't even keep a girl. Talk about disheartening for men.


Everyone cheats nowadays I think.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

minimalME said:


> And I don’t even offer that. 😅
> 
> It is true - I don’t provide anything that would be appealing to a man. I’m not going to cook or clean. I don’t know what else is on a random list, but I probably don’t do it.
> 
> I kind of mourn our independence, because I actually really like the idea of genuinely needing one another to survive and working hard as a community to make that happen.


IMO, we do need one another. We just all like to pretend we do not.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> IMO, we do need one another. We just all like to pretend we do not.


I don't, not anymore


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Everyone cheats nowadays I think.


 Probably. They could at least practice some discretion though.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I don't, not anymore


I respectfully disagree with you, man. I think we can survive alone, just not thrive so much.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Enigma32 said:


> IMO, we do need one another. We just all like to pretend we do not.


But it’s in a disconnected way. It’s not relational anymore. And I’m strictly talking about pure survival.

We go to stores instead of bartering with our neighbors. 😔

Yes, we still have a web of demand and supply, but it’s at a distance.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.
> 
> However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄
> 
> For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


Honey, only YOU can make you feel not good enough.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> I respectfully disagree with you, man. I think we can survive alone, just not thrive so much.


Maybe but I am doing fine.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Funny, I’ve had very similar thoughts about the last man I dated for 18 months. Selfish and entitled is what he was. He liked me because I am independent and financially secure. I am also kind and respectful. I treat my “” person very well. Exactly what he’s looking for. Someone to move in and take over half his bills, half his chores and help him raise his kids. In return he had sex and rides on his Harley to offer. Big whoop and no thanks.

All of this works both ways.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I respectfully disagree with you, man. I think we can survive alone, just not thrive so much.


I don’t think anybody needs a romantic relationship to survive and thrive. But we do need deep and meaningful relationships regardless…


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

QuietRiot said:


> I don’t think anybody needs a romantic relationship to survive and thrive. But we do need deep and meaningful relationships regardless…


You can get those deep meaningful relationships other places


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.
> 
> However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄
> 
> For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


Your ex was very young and very immature. For those of us who’ve lived a while, we’ve all figured out what matters and are beyond the stupid games.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> Your ex was very young and very immature. For those of us who’ve lived a while, we’ve all figured out what matters and are beyond the stupid games.


Yes I guess it's also really hard to fully judge her because of her age. Yet it seems like she's no different to any other women out there these days, at least she had an excuse 😅


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I hate this thread...


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

minimalME said:


> And I don’t even offer that. 😅
> 
> It is true - I don’t provide anything that would be appealing to a man. I’m not going to cook or clean. I don’t know what else is on a random list, but I probably don’t do it.
> 
> I kind of mourn our independence, because I actually really like the idea of genuinely needing one another to survive and working hard as a community to make that happen.


I am curious, if you don't do any cooking or cleaning, do you live on takeout?

I'm single but I have to cook and clean for myself (I don’t hire those things out).

I figure if I'm in a relationship someday, with the other person also cooking and cleaning, both of our loads might actually be lighter in these areas because we are splitting them.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> Yes I guess it's also really hard to fully judge her because of her age. Yet it seems like she's no different to any other women out there these days, at least she had an excuse 😅


True, she had an excuse.

I was talking to a 53 year old last week. Turns out he has a side piece (dirty little secret) and he was desperately trying to talk me into becoming side piece number two.

It was an entertaining conversation but was further evidence, for me, that finding a quality man is going to take forrrevvveerrrr!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Divinely Favored said:


> Back in the day, I said screw it. I was sick and tired of women. I couldn't find a woman that had not been around the block at least once or was just looking for a baby daddy to support her offspring. Seems like I could only find the ones that wanted to just ride the pony, but did not want to just ride this pony only. They were carousel riders in it for the sex and we're not into a LTR.
> 
> I said Lord I'm done looking, if you want me with someone, you put me with that one. About a month later I met my wife, she was sick of men, going through divorce from cheating ex, and had prayed same thing I had. She was as adverse to screwing around and cheaters as I was and I thought georgeous.


And this is why you are Divinely Favored 😑


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Livvie said:


> I am curious, if you don't do any cooking or cleaning, do you live on takeout?
> 
> I'm single but I have to cook and clean for myself (I don’t hire those things out).
> 
> I figure if I'm in a relationship someday, with the other person also cooking and cleaning, both of our loads might actually be lighter in these areas because we are splitting them.


I cook, I just don’t _cook_. 😂

My foods are repetitive and simple, mainly pan seared meats and steamed veggies.

But last night, I had cereal for dinner. I just didn’t feel like making anything, so I didn’t.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Not said:


> Funny, I’ve had very similar thoughts about the last man I dated for 18 months. Selfish and entitled is what he was. He liked me because I am independent and financially secure. I am also kind and respectful. I treat my “” person very well. Exactly what he’s looking for. Someone to move in and take over half his bills, half his chores and help him raise his kids. In return he had sex and rides on his Harley to offer. Big whoop and no thanks.
> 
> All of this works both ways.


I saw a guy take his empty glass to the kitchen once.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

minimalME said:


> I cook, I just don’t _cook_. 😂
> 
> My foods are repetitive and simple, mainly pan seared meats and steamed veggies.
> 
> But last night, I had cereal for dinner. I just didn’t feel like making anything, so I didn’t.


I have to cook so I've become good at it.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I dunno.....I watched a little bit of the video and am just chiming in with another perspective...The video is nonsense, at least the part I had to suffer through...Sorry in advance if I am crashing the pity fest...

This thinking that people are having more sex now than they used to and everyone just cheats is nonsense, really...Statistically people are having even less sex, despite the internet than we were(gen X)...I don't even want to admit what it was like, and what experiences I had in the late 80's and early 90's....when I was 17-24 ish.....good grief aint nothing happening like that today...I have a 20 year old daughter that tells me everything that's going on...its not a wild sex fest like a lot of people think...

My generation, to a lesser degree than previous still wound up with women that weren't independent like younger women are today...And that is a GOOD thing(independence)...I mean, FFS, are guys so insecure that they need a woman who has no independence, no options, no real earning capability, etc?? Many of those women were morons you couldn't even talk to on any level.,..they were so damn sheltered, their only goal in life is to latch herself to some donkey of a guy and crank out some kids....

I have a lot of nieces, female relatives and I interact with women all the time in business and life...They are, for the most part, pretty awesome...Smart, secure, successful, sexy, stc...I don't see it as a lot of other guys do..All those TikTok and IG girls existed before the internet(I know, shocking, right?). just that the internet exposed it...They don't represent all....Not by a long shot...

Whining and this whole " I am going to take my ball and go home" attitude isn't the least bit attractive and will just leave you with your dyck in your hand....If you want to continue that, great, but complaining and whining wont get you anywhere..


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

minimalME said:


> I cook, I just don’t _cook_. 😂
> 
> My foods are repetitive and simple, mainly pan seared meats and steamed veggies.
> 
> But last night, I had cereal for dinner. I just didn’t feel like making anything, so I didn’t.



I live in the same way and I love being able to do as I please like that and I don’t want to give that up. I do believe, however, that there’s a man just like me out there lol! We can do our own thing, but just do it together. 😁


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I saw a guy take his empty glass to the kitchen once.


A lot of men on the dating market will brag about their kitchen skills and how clean their house is. Lies lol! All lies just trying to lure us in. 😉


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> True, she had an excuse.
> 
> I was talking to a 53 year old last week. Turns out he has a side piece (dirty little secret) and he was desperately trying to talk me into becoming side piece number two.
> 
> It was an entertaining conversation but was further evidence, for me, that finding a quality man is going to take forrrevvveerrrr!


For me I'm just exhausted completely, mentally, emotionally, physically and even sexually. Even if I find someone there's really nothing left for me to give. The video hit home when it mentioned exhaustion.

I described it in other posts like reaching in and finding nothing there or like losing a limb, after a while it heals but it doesn't operate the same anymore. 

When I stopped dating I cancelled on a hottie and went cold on my fbuddy, taking days or weeks to reply lol can't set up a booty call like that 😆 I just... had enough.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I must live in my own little bubble.

I got divorced and met a great guy pretty quickly. It's been 4 years, I don't have any backups, we have sex 4-5 times a week, and we spend a ton of time together because we like each others company.

I've no doubt these **** shows exist....guess I've been fortunate.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Who left their white horse tied up outside???


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

hamadryad said:


> I dunno.....I watched a little bit of the video and am just chiming in with another perspective...The video is nonsense, at least the part I had to suffer through...Sorry in advance if I am crashing the pity fest...
> 
> This thinking that people are having more sex now than they used to and everyone just cheats is nonsense, really...Statistically people are having even less sex, despite the internet than we were(gen X)...I don't even want to admit what it was like, and what experiences I had in the late 80's and early 90's....when I was 17-24 ish.....good grief aint nothing happening like that today...I have a 20 year old daughter that tells me everything that's going on...its not a wild sex fest like a lot of people think...
> 
> ...


Yeah I don't like the anti feminist stuff in the video in particular, like I could never get involved with my fbuddy because she was precisely that, no financial management skills, in debt and unemployed. But she was a hot lay and she scratched my itch very, very well I haven't had the itch since 😆


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> For me I'm just exhausted completely, mentally, emotionally, physically and even sexually. Even if I find someone there's really nothing left for me to give. The video hit home when it mentioned exhaustion.
> 
> I described it in other posts like reaching in and finding nothing there or like losing a limb, after a while it heals but it doesn't operate the same anymore.
> 
> When I stopped dating I cancelled on a hottie and went cold on my fbuddy, taking days or weeks to reply lol can't set up a booty call like that 😆 I just... had enough.


You do sound really exhausted. That’s OK Random you can’t be “on” all the time. I have felt like that in regards to other areas of my life and when I get like that, I just stay right there. No use trying to fight it. When you’re ready to be “on” again, then you’ll get moving again.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

minimalME said:


> I cook, I just don’t _cook_. 😂


Pics or it didn't happen.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> A lot of men on the dating market will brag about their kitchen skills and how clean their house is. Lies lol! All lies just trying to lure us in. 😉


I dont, I say I'm messy because I'm smart and it's proven that smart people are messy 😛 😆


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Not said:


> I live in the same way and I love being able to do as I please like that and I don’t want to give that up. I do believe, however, that there’s a man just like me out there lol! We can do our own thing, but just do it together. 😁


I figure there's a good chance to find a man who cooks nowadays, whereas old days, I only knew one, but then whether they clean the kitchen after themselves is likely going to become an issue.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> You do sound really exhausted. That’s OK Random you can’t be “on” all the time. I have felt like that in regards to other areas of my life and when I get like that, I just stay right there. No use trying to fight it. When you’re ready to be “on” again, then you’ll get moving again.


I dont think being on would be a good idea, I'll just find another bang buddy and have the same FWB dramas that I had half a decade ago with them catching the feels and what not.

Best I stay "off" 😊


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

What a lot of people don't get is that if they are judging the quality of the opposite sex from OLD, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening.. There is a VAST quantity of quality people that would never dream of putting their mug on one of those sites...I am not knocking it, and I know a lot of people find others through these venues, but it doesn't represent the whole available population....not by a long shot..


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Who left their white horse tied up outside???



I dunno...maybe the same one who can't reach the grapes and just thinks they are all sour so why bother...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

hamadryad said:


> What a lot of people don't get is that if they are judging the quality of the opposite sex from OLD, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening.. There is a VAST quantity of quality people that would never dream of putting their mug on one of those sites...I am not knocking it, and I know a lot of people find others through these venues, but it doesn't represent the whole available population....not by a long shot..


I met my ex offline on the way to a meeting and slipped my number on a love note. Still didn't stop me experiencing all the BS tiktok comparisons and complaints that plagued me for years.

Even though she had her issues she was quite decent compared to what else is out there, which is kinda saying something lol 😆


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I figure there's a good chance to find a man who cooks nowadays, whereas old days, I only knew one, but then whether they clean the kitchen after themselves is likely going to become an issue.


I’ve dated some very good cooks who became good cooks after their divorces. They had no choice but to learn, and while they were at it, they chose to go all out and get really good!


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> I met my ex offline on the way to a meeting and slipped my number on a love note. Still didn't stop me experiencing all the BS tiktok comparisons and complaints that plagued me for years.
> 
> Even though she had her issues she was quite decent compared to what else is out there, which is kinda saying something lol 😆


Please inform me...what's a tik tok comparison?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

hamadryad said:


> Please inform me...what's a tik tok comparison?


When a woman watches TikTok couples all day on her phone then complaints I don't do X and Y like all the other 'showcase' boyfriends ignoring A and B, because A and B are just "expectations" and don't count 😆

From 6:20 onward the video talks about it and less about all the femi stuff.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Enigma32 said:


> Dude, Tom Brady is divorced now. His wife was banging her Jiu Jitsu instructor and left him. The GOAT can't even keep a girl. Talk about disheartening for men.


You shouldn't be looking at Tom Brady in terms of loss, you should look at that in terms of gain. 

She has a higher net worth than he does, depending on who takes physical care of the children, there shouldn't be any child or spousal support and now with her out of the house, he can fill the house up with as many other models and porn stars that the building codes and fire codes will allow. 

Now he's human so I'm sure there is a part of him that's sad. But you can't tell me that he is actually going to be hurt by any of this and it's not disheartening per se, it's just an example of the order. Long term relationships are tough and even the rich and beautiful don't escape the challenges and pitfalls that can occur in a marriage. 

When you're handed lemons, you need to make lemonade. He will be having all those lemons in bikinis laying around his pool long before the ink on their divorce decree is dry.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> What a lot of people don't get is that if they are judging the quality of the opposite sex from OLD, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening.. There is a VAST quantity of quality people that would never dream of putting their mug on one of those sites...I am not knocking it, and I know a lot of people find others through these venues, but it doesn't represent the whole available population....not by a long shot..


My last boyfriend is at a 100% failure rate with relationships. No woman has stayed for more than a couple of years. He met me online. The previous girlfriend he met through friends. The one before that lives down the street. And his ex-wife he met at deer camp lol!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

QuietRiot said:


> I don’t disagree. For many men it’s not worth it. But it goes the other way too. There is nothing a man has to offer me that I need. I don’t even need the sex because apparently that’s connected to emotional connection for me, so even better.
> 
> I really like your story @Divinely Favored, I feel the same. If the good Lord has a plan then so be it, but I won’t accept anything less. If that man never comes around that’s amazing. I rather like being single and unencumbered by bullpoopy.
> 
> But the great thing about all of this is that there is enough men and women in the world to all use each other for sex and nothing else if they want. I just don’t happen to be one of those and I’m good with everyone else having at it. Enjoy!


Do you think sometimes God wants us to be a little proactive? I remember thinking that God isnt going to bring a guy to my door. 

As to men not wanting to date, I think that's nonsense to be honest unless they are guys who literally just want to sleep around with anyone who will have them. What a lonely and shallow life.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> When a woman watches TikTok couples all day on her phone then complaints I don't do X and Y like all the other 'showcase' boyfriends ignoring A and B, because A and B are just "expectations" and don't count 😆
> 
> From 6:20 onward the video talks about it and less about all the femi stuff.


Dr Psych Mom had a podcast about this exact thing yesterday. She calls it Social Media Intimacy Porn.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)




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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> What a lot of people don't get is that if they are judging the quality of the opposite sex from OLD, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening.. There is a VAST quantity of quality people that would never dream of putting their mug on one of those sites...I am not knocking it, and I know a lot of people find others through these venues, but it doesn't represent the whole available population....not by a long shot..


I dont agree, I got to know some really nice quality people on OLD including Mr D. Plus I know many couples who met on line, again really nice quality people. It's very widely used now. by a very large percentage of the population.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> Do you think sometimes God wants us to be a little proactive? I remember thinking that God isnt going to bring a guy to my door.
> 
> As to men not wanting to date, I think that's nonsense to be honest unless they are guys who literally just want to sleep around with anyone who will have them. What a lonely and shallow life.


Hey I don't want to date but I don't sleep around either.

Maybe if another 8+/10 comes in with high heels and flirts with me non stop at work for 2 months persistently despite constant rejections then maybe I'll get the itch again.

But likely I'll just take the itch out on someone else like last time because I don't want to risk scoring where I eat 😆


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> His wife was banging her Jiu Jitsu instructor and left him


So what did the instructor offer that Brady didn't or couldn't? Attention and time? I suppose the instructor struck the jackpot, with the settlement Brady's ex will surely be able to afford a "kept man".


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

oldshirt said:


> Dr Psych Mom had a podcast about this exact thing yesterday. She calls it Social Media Intimacy Porn.


Hahaha 😆 
Good luck for men banning it like women ban normal porn though, so it's likely to continue!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Not said:


> I’ve dated some very good cooks who became good cooks after their divorces. They had no choice but to learn, and while they were at it, they chose to go all out and get really good!


It's easier to learn to cook ever since cooking shows on TV!

A male friend of mine years ago had one recipe his mom had taught him, which was goulash, and otherwise, he only ate out pizzas and hamburgers, and that was it.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’m heading to the grocery store. Wish me luck lol!! 😃👍


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> So what did the instructor offer that Brady didn't or couldn't? Attention and time? I suppose the instructor struck the jackpot, with the settlement Brady's ex will surely be able to afford a "kept man".


Gisele actually has more money than Brady does. There is a huge gap in what male models make vs female models and Gisele scored bank in her career. If anything, Brady could collect some money, not her.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> You shouldn't be looking at Tom Brady in terms of loss, you should look at that in terms of gain.
> 
> She has a higher net worth than he does, depending on who takes physical care of the children, there shouldn't be any child or spousal support and now with her out of the house, he can fill the house up with as many other models and porn stars that the building codes and fire codes will allow.
> 
> ...


Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


No, it's so much more fun!!!!


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

moon7 said:


> View attachment 93657


I don't believe that was the cause. 

If a pretty 21 girl goes after and 21 year old guy and he ditches her after awhile, it's not because she went after him, it was because he was a 21 year old guy. 

I think another part of that is men simply are not as discerning as women in who they go out with initially and certainly not as discerning as women in who they go to bed with. 

If a guy has an interest in girl and he approaches her and asks her out, she is going to look up and down from head-to-toe and is going to call all her girlfriends and the FBI and US Marshal's office to get the scoop on him and then she is going to evaluate whether he will fit in with her friend group and family and whether he has a decent work ethic and income potential and his level of education and what he may be like in bed and how he would be as a boyfriend and as a husband and what kind of a father he will be and what kind of citizen he will be in the community and whether her Aunt Bernadine from Montana will gossip bad about him behind her back when she is in town for Thanksgiving etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc........

...... and if one of those things is not up to code, she will decline the date or will put him in the friendzone. 

Contrast that to a guy where if a gal seems interested in guy and she approaches him for a date, if she's under 200lbs and doesn't smell bad, he'll likely say OK. 

If she is interested in him sexually, he will hook up with her. 

But if after a handful of dates and perhaps even some hook ups, if he decides she's not really the one for him and he's not really at a point he wants to settle into a relationship, he will go on about his business. 

What took place is not that he was turned off or discouraged by the fact she approached him. It's that he did not have any reason NOT to accept the initial date(s) or even to not accept the hook up if she was game, but in time simply realized she wasn't the one for anything long term. 

That same thing can happen just as readily even if he were to be the one making the initial approach, but the one slight advantage of him being the one to make the initial approach is that he probably put at least a few minutes worth of thought into before and may have already check off a few boxes in his mental checklist about her beforehand. .....Maybe.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Gisele actually has more money than Brady does. There is a huge gap in what male models make vs female models and Gisele scored bank in her career. If anything, Brady could collect some money, not her.



She peaked.. its likely all downhill....figuratively speaking...

He has a media deal waiting for him when he retires, that eclipses her entire net worth...forget about what he already has...

No one should shed a single tear for that guy, I am sure they are all lined up, one hotter than the next, ready to get under him, so he can get over her...lol..


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> No, it's so much more fun!!!!


In the short term, I won't disagree with you. Long term? I'd rather have a wife that I could count on than a gaggle of bikini girls that come and go.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> In the short term, I won't disagree with you. Long term? I'd rather have a wife that I could count on than a gaggle of bikini girls that come and go.


Yeah well, I thought I had a wife that I could count on but we all know how that ended up.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> I don't believe that was the cause.
> 
> If a pretty 21 girl goes after and 21 year old guy and he ditches her after awhile, it's not because she went after him, it was because he was a 21 year old guy.
> 
> ...


If only we were all that careful. I'm afraid not, though.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Enigma32 said:


> Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


It's just the scale that is different, but the concept is still the same. 

I am just an average joe six pack. If my wife were to leave me for whoever, I would be sad things didn't work out the way I wanted. But like with Tom Brady, it will open a variety of options and opportunities for me. 

The difference is young bikini models and porn stars will be flying in to hang out at his pool and attend the Hollywood parties and socialite fund raisers with him. Where as I will be having coffee dates at Starbucks and dinner dates at Olive Garden and going to movies etc and Netflix etc with divorced middle aged women who at least take care of themselves and aren't obese and are at least gainfully employed. 

He will be dating and interacting with the women in his league, and I will be dating and interacting with the women in mine. 

The game is the same, it just comes down to whatever league the guy is in.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I dont agree, I got to know some really nice quality people on OLD including Mr D. Plus I know many couples who met on line, again really nice quality people. It's very widely used now. by a very large percentage of the population.



Dont agree with what??

As I said in my previous post(that you quoted) , that it has worked for some people, but that doesn't take into account the millions of available and high quality people that would never use it....


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Not said:


> It was an entertaining conversation but was further evidence, for me, that finding a quality man is going to take forrrevvveerrrr!


These men are married and remaining with their wives who have gone through The Great Decline. They're not any happier than you are.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Rus47 said:


> So what did the instructor offer that Brady didn't or couldn't? Attention and time? I suppose the instructor struck the jackpot, with the settlement Brady's ex will surely be able to afford a "kept man".


She has a higher net worth than Brady does. 

The one thing that the instructor can provide that Brady never can is that he is someone different.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Sfort said:


> These men are married and remaining with their wives who have gone through The Great Decline. They're not any happier than you are.


Nope, he’s divorced. How do I know for sure? County courthouse public records. He’s just a washed up wanna be player with a big wang who thinks that’s all it will take to get all the free kitty he wants. Trying to relive his glory days maybe.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Sfort said:


> These men are married and remaining with their wives who have gone through The Great Decline. They're not any happier than you are.


And their wives aren't any more "declined" than they are.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I saw a guy take his empty glass to the kitchen once.


Pictures or it didn't happen LOL


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> Gisele actually has more money than Brady does. There is a huge gap in what male models make vs female models and Gisele scored bank in her career. If anything, Brady could collect some money, not her.


I know many won't agree...but I don't find her attractive!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Livvie said:


> I know many won't agree...but I don't find her attractive!


I agree


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Livvie said:


> I know many won't agree...but I don't find her attractive!


Oh she's perfectly attractive. 

But Abigail Hawk in the TV show Blue Bloods? Mmmmmm MMMMMM!!!!!  🥰


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I also don't see it with Gesele. She looks like a giraffe without the pretty spots.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I don't get the whole appeal with Gisele, but a lot of supermodels(at least in current times) seem to have that same look.,..Long, lanky, super thin, big feet and hands, sharp features, etc..I don't know what she looks like now, but Bridget Moynahan didn't take back seat to many...(who he left for gisele)..


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> I don't get the whole appeal with Gisele, but a lot of supermodels(at least in current times) seem to have that same look.,..Long, lanky, super thin, big feet and hands, sharp features, etc..I don't know what she looks like now, but Bridget Moynahan didn't take back seat to many...(who he left for gisele)..


Her distinguishing feature is how long she is in the torso. I mean, in real life, there aren't that many women who are anywhere near that long-waisted. I can see why it's good for modeling designer stuff, but should be useless for clothes that will end up on people with more normal proportions.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> In the short term, I won't disagree with you. Long term? I'd rather have a wife that I could count on than a gaggle of bikini girls that come and go.





Numb26 said:


> Yeah well, I thought I had a wife that I could count on but we all know how that ended up.


I'm sure many of us would rather we have someone we can count on. Not all of us get lucky though and some of us have sadly invested our heart and soul in the wrong baskets. And when these baskets go, it takes pieces of us with them, and they don't always come back. Even with my last ex I knew there were parts of me I wanted to give but reached in and found nothing there. Now I lost her too I really have nothing left haha

This is my reality now, at least @Numb26 is enjoying himself!


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Her distinguishing feature is how long she is in the torso. I mean, in real life, there aren't that many women who are anywhere near that long-waisted. I can see why it's good for modeling designer stuff, but should be useless for clothes that will end up on people with more normal proportions.


If we are talking supermodels, Kathy Ireland or Christie Brinkley were just far better looking and well proportioned, IMO. and didn't look so odd(as you are describing)..


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

When I look back to when I was young and single, there was no internet, no dating apps, no tik tok etc and while the beautiful and the jocks and the social elite did have more opportunities and a little bit easier time getting dates and relationships, they still had their struggles and even with the jocks and cheerleaders, their market was from within the people they encountered in their daily life. 

One of good buddies in high school was the star quarterback. I watched him struggle and have girl problems and break ups etc. He had more options than me and got GFs quicker and easier than I did but I saw him struggle and knew that I would struggle more but that I would get there some day. ....and I did. 

And all of us Average Joes and Average Janes knew it would be a bit of struggle and that we would need to develop and ripen on the vine and build ourselves up a little more than the jocks and the cheerleaders before our ship with come in. 

I think one of the cultural shifts that have take place in the last decade or so is that since OLD and phone app dating has taken over, is the beautiful people are deluged and it's a matter of picking out which one they want to meet in their 5-6pm time slot before their 7 oclock arrives. 

But while it truly is more difficult for the average masses, the online and phone app world have also created unrealistic expectations on how easy/difficult it will be to find love. 

In my day, us Average Joes knew it would be an uphill battle and that it may not be until well into college or even out into the real world before we would find someone that would stick. 

But I think a lot of young'ns today really do think they will swipe right and Mr or Ms Perfect will be right there and they will meet at Starbucks and live happily ever after. 

They see their beautiful and handsome peers do that and it all seems so easy and abundant. But then they may fail to see the beautiful/handsome peers spin out in a matter of days or weeks as well. 

People get under the impression that the world of love is at their fingertips and just a swipe away, but it isn't and it never has been. My generation knew it was difficult and often a crap shoot, but the kids today don't. They think the OLD sites and the phone apps are real. 

In my day the vast majority of us Average Joes and Average Janes met through friends and family in person and connnected over common interests and values and activities and such. 

And only a generation or two before my generation, most couples were hooked up through families and church and community leaders and activities. Maybe not actual arranged marriage per se, but at least least through family introduction and blessings. 

And in my generation, when people did connect and found or at least thought they had found their someone, they typically latched on and made it formal and official. Most of the people I grew up with were married by their mid 20s and often with either their high school sweetheart or their college sweet heart. 

We sought and secured people and relationships,,, not phone numbers. Not dates. Not hook ups. Not experiences. But actual people and actual relationships.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Do you think sometimes God wants us to be a little proactive? I remember thinking that God isnt going to bring a guy to my door.
> 
> As to men not wanting to date, I think that's nonsense to be honest unless they are guys who literally just want to sleep around with anyone who will have them. What a lonely and shallow life.


Maybe for a person that desires it. I find I am very much enjoying not having to worry about dating or having a relationship. But perhaps in years that might change. Otherwise I do go to church and do things I like to do with my kids and on my own. If lightning strikes so be it. I am building a lovely life on my own. I think if I actually ended up with someone else it would be because God placed them firmly in my life. I don’t seek that though… if that makes sense. 

I agree that to people like you and me feel that kind of life seems so empty, but there are men and women who do seek that. I don’t find any value or attraction to that kind of person which works out for everyone. 🙂


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Online dating has sure as hell made it easy for me to hunt down specific tastes though  

Had folks here last few months tell me OMG RD you are looking for like, the 0.005% of the female population and I'm like 🤷‍♂️ Yeah so? I got the matches regardless without "widening my preferences" lol


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> And in my generation, when people did connect and found or at least thought they had found their someone, they typically latched on and made it formal and official. Most of the people I grew up with were married by their mid 20s and often with either their high school sweetheart or their college sweet heart.
> 
> We sought and secured people and relationships,,, not phone numbers. Not dates. Not hook ups. Not experiences. But actual people and actual relationships.


My wife and I will often times look at my soon to be 21 year old daughter and her peers. 

My DS20-21 is tall, slender, beautiful, very sociable and charismatic and has done some professional teen modeling in her teens just like her mother did before her. She is in college now and doing well in school and living in her own apartment etc

Her peer group are all equally very attractive and social and in school pursuing professional degrees and their futures etc etc

Each of them would have been the most popular and most attractive girls in my whole school back in 1980. 

Now they've all had some dates and all had some hook ups and my daughter even had a high school BF that she dated somewhat regularly for a couple semesters. 

But none of them have had the interpersonal connection and dating experience and depth of my female peers when we were that age almost 40 years ago. 

It's kind of like they just don't get it and they just can't quite connect the dots and get this whole relationship thing that we did at that age back in the early 1980s. 

And in a similar vein, when my dad came home from WWII at age 22, he met my mom, got married within a few months, built a house with his own hands, had my sister (she was more than a dozen years older than me) and raised the family with his own business. 

Now I want to be clear that I do not think people in today's world should be marrying and having kids in their early to mid 20s. I think the trend to marry and start families a number of years later on average is a good thing. 

But I do think the kids today have gained more technical know-how and technical knowledge, but have lost some common sense and innate wisdom on interpersonal relationships. Some times my daughter and her besties will say something going on in their personal lives and my wife and I will just sit there and stare at them shaking our heads wondering which synapses just simply aren't connecting in their brains. 

And my high school senior son - he is 6'1", lean and buff and athletic and more handsome than I could have ever hoped for at that age, and I don't know if he has ever even said hi to a girl  

These kids have more technical and world knowledge than we did (or at least than I did) but when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex in a meaningful manner, they just don't get it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

oldshirt said:


> My wife and I will often times look at my soon to be 21 year old daughter and her peers.
> 
> My DS20-21 is tall, slender, beautiful, very sociable and charismatic and has done some professional teen modeling in her teens just like her mother did before her. She is in college now and doing well in school and living in her own apartment etc
> 
> ...


Lol or by the time they are in their 30s and 'ready for a LTR' they become as emotionally unavailable as me 😅


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Online dating has sure as hell made it easy for me to hunt down specific tastes though
> 
> Had folks here last few months tell me OMG RD you are looking for like, the 0.005% of the female population and I'm like 🤷‍♂️ Yeah so? I got the matches regardless without "widening my preferences" lol


Yeah that wasn’t the point sir. You also had extremely high expectations outside of physicality which you don’t find by narrowing your margin to .005% of the population. It wasn’t about who you’re attracted to, but that you focused so specifically on physical appearance because you weren’t attracted enough to your exes, who by your own account were already in the 1% of highly attractive women.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> I don't believe that was the cause.
> 
> If a pretty 21 girl goes after and 21 year old guy and he ditches her after awhile, it's not because she went after him, it was because he was a 21 year old guy.
> 
> ...


Its MY personal experience. Ive wrote there at youtube and took a screenshot (some error at youtube didnt let me coppy and i was busy).


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Her distinguishing feature is how long she is in the torso. I mean, in real life, there aren't that many women who are anywhere near that long-waisted. I can see why it's good for modeling designer stuff, but should be useless for clothes that will end up on people with more normal proportions.


One problem my wife faces when she shops for cardigans, jackets and a range of other tops. Is that a lot of clothes shops fill their racks with clothes for women who have short torso’s. Now she has no trouble getting dresses that fit, yet she can’t get some clothes by some brands she likes, because they think women are always short.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Its MY personal experience. Ive wrote there at youtube and took a screenshot (some error at youtube didnt let me coppy and i was busy).


How do you actually know? Since unless he told you he was dumping you, because you asked him out on a date, you don’t actually know that he dumped you for asking him.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Personal said:


> How do you actually know? Since unless he told you he was dumping you, because you asked him out on a date, you don’t actually know that he dumped you for asking him.


Bc i saw the diferrence between how the guys who asked me and the guys who i asked out treeated me. I was there, you know?


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> My wife and I will often times look at my soon to be 21 year old daughter and her peers.
> 
> My DS20-21 is tall, slender, beautiful, very sociable and charismatic and has done some professional teen modeling in her teens just like her mother did before her. She is in college now and doing well in school and living in her own apartment etc
> 
> ...


I agree with most of this and we are coming from almost the same time period...

I just think the reasons were two fold...

1) we, as guys were more mature and more "man like" than what you would see today...A typical 25 year old guy now is either at home with the weed and vape pen, living with parents in a shyt job, not knowing what to do with his life, or is in college...Its unfathomable to imagine a guy at 25 today that had a mortgage, a wife, and his own business.....and yet I did, and a lot of guys my age did as well..

2) women/girls weren't as career driven as then as they are today...I think a lot still viewed it as that they would marry their HS sweetheart or some guy shortly thereafter, and be knocked up mid 20's...

So maybe they got the early part of dating and interpersonal relationships. but not a lot of the other stuff that those enjoy today..

Now that the career doors and other opportunities for women are wide open, they are taking full advantage, and leaving a lot of guys in the dust...I know my daughter(20) who is gorgeous, is more focused on her college career/degree than any guy...She has only had 2 luke warm relationships and didn't take either all that seriously...When I ask her about it, she mostly says they are too immature and have no depth...

We are in a transition period, I think, and there are obstacles with that dynamic..


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I actually like the fact the women are just as much the aggressors when it comes to dating.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> Yeah that wasn’t the point sir. You also had extremely high expectations outside of physicality which you don’t find by narrowing your margin to .005% of the population. It wasn’t about who you’re attracted to, but that you focused so specifically on physical appearance because you weren’t attracted enough to your exes, who by your own account were already in the 1% of highly attractive women.


Looking back at the whole dating spree it was wrong of me to even approach dating to look for a LTR. It wasn't what I was capable of anymore, but I didn't realise it until the end.

I realised the reason I focused specifically on physicality was because of the work crush that 1) I did not want to risk getting involved with as she was a client/partner 2) She lacked the intellectual depth that I required for a mental connection (in other words, she was fking stupid)... BUT, her constant flirting and arousal gave me a serious itch.

All the women I dated this year was based on *her* specific body type. My last fbuddy was very physically alike, hell they were even of the same _specific_ ethnicity! But after scratching the itch, that's all it was. An itch. There's nothing else to give. Yes, it was wrong, but another reason for me to pull the plug on all this. Should I feel guilty about it? I don't know, I was still finding myself and I didn't end up hurting anyone so 🤷‍♂️


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Bc i saw the diferrence between how the guys who asked me and the guys who i asked out treeated me. I was there, you know?


So you don’t really know. Correlation does not always mean causation.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


I don’t believe she cheated and left him, I believe she felt she put in her time and put her career on the sidelines to his for a long time, and when he finally said he was retiring she took him at his word. This is what some of her interviews have said all along, that she was lonely, essentially a single parent for much of the year, and wanted her husband and family to finally have their time. He unretired, and she had enough of being a football widow so she left him. 

But maybe you guys are right and she did cheat. I didn’t see it that way. I think she was just lonely for a long time and moved the hell on. I don’t agree with how quickly she did it… but not my business.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

moon7 said:


> Bc i saw the diferrence between how the guys who asked me and the guys who i asked out treeated me. I was there, you know?


I don't question your experience at all. 

But I do question your conclusion about the causation. 

I don't think you approaching them and asking them out CAUSED them to lose or not have interest. I think they just accepted the offer and went along with it until they realised they weren't interested in going any further. 

Guys experience this with women all the time when they ask out the women. The women may accept the initial offer and perhaps even a good time had by all for a period of time and then just fizzle out. 

The women ultimately lost interest or stopped going out with them because in time realised they weren't a match. But it was not because the guy asked them out. 

The vast vast vast majority of first dates do not turn into life long marriages. That will be true regardless of who asks the first date.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> My wife and I will often times look at my soon to be 21 year old daughter and her peers.
> 
> My DS20-21 is tall, slender, beautiful, very sociable and charismatic and has done some professional teen modeling in her teens just like her mother did before her. She is in college now and doing well in school and living in her own apartment etc
> 
> ...


Its like they are all a little bit higher in the spectrum, then.


Personal said:


> So you don’t really know. Correlation does not always mean causation.


Then if you claime my personal experience (something i saw with my own eyes) if false, then the video is even more false, bc all the video do is "correlation means causation". No video, no ideal, trumps personal experience.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Looking back at the whole dating spree it was wrong of me to even approach dating to look for a LTR. It wasn't what I was capable of anymore, but I didn't realise it until the end.
> 
> I realised the reason I focused specifically on physicality was because of the work crush that 1) I did not want to risk getting involved with as she was a client/partner 2) She lacked the intellectual depth that I required for a mental connection (in other words, she was fking stupid)... BUT, her constant flirting and arousal gave me a serious itch.
> 
> All the women I dated this year was based on *her* specific body type. My last fbuddy was very physically alike, hell they were even of the same _specific_ ethnicity! But after scratching the itch, that's all it was. An itch. There's nothing else to give. Yes, it was wrong, but another reason for me to pull the plug on all this. Should I feel guilty about it? I don't know, I was still finding myself and I didn't end up hurting anyone so 🤷‍♂️


Im not shaming you. I actually thought it was an interesting experiement for you. But I could see why it failed. You are very very specific about many things and that’s pretty difficult to measure up to for any human being.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> My wife and I will often times look at my soon to be 21 year old daughter and her peers.
> 
> My DS20-21 is tall, slender, beautiful, very sociable and charismatic and has done some professional teen modeling in her teens just like her mother did before her. She is in college now and doing well in school and living in her own apartment etc
> 
> ...


IM more than a decade older than my sister, she is college age, and i notice this too in her, and in my brother too (there are girls who befriended me and my cousin to get closer to him, but he completely dont understand women or notice).

I sometimes wonder if my brother is a high functional autistic, actually. And i wonder about it in A LOT of those young people.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Personal said:


> One problem my wife faces when she shops for cardigans, jackets and a range of other tops. Is that a lot of clothes shops fill their racks with clothes for women who have short torso’s. Now she has no trouble getting dresses that fit, yet she can’t get some clothes by some brands she likes, because they think women are always short.


Yes. I am short waisted but I always had long legs and couldn't find anything to fit them. Nowadays you can easier. In the early decades of the small assortment of plus-size clothes, they especially assumed that all the women were short and fat. That has changed.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> Im not shaming you. I actually thought it was an interesting experiement for you. But I could see why it failed. You are very very specific about many things and that’s pretty difficult to measure up to for any human being.


It got worse over the years. The more experienced and less emotionally available I got, the higher my standards became.
Now even if a woman meets all such standards it's not even enough because it's just too late for me. It is what it is.

The thing about my last ex of 4 years, was that I took a giant leap of faith with her, being emotionally vulnerable, being in love and all that - actually for the first time in my life with no reservations. Which pretty much sealed my fate.

I didn't even take such a leap with ex-wife a decade ago.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> It got worse over the years. The more experienced and less emotionally available I got, the higher my standards became.
> 
> Now even if a woman meets all such standards it's not even enough because it's just too late for me. It is what it is.


Well I’m not putting you down for it. Just was clarifying from that other thread that I think you are misconstruing a lot of what some of us were saying.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> Well I’m not putting you down for it. Just was clarifying from that other thread that I think you are misconstruing a lot of what some of us were saying.


Oh that, nah I was mostly taking the piss and poking fun at you guys haha 😅 

Didn't intend to be misconstruing lol


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> It got worse over the years. The more experienced and less emotionally available I got, the higher my standards became.
> Now even if a woman meets all such standards it's not even enough because it's just too late for me. It is what it is.


In.this quote 

To me it seems youre looking for ideal at the expense of real.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> You looking for ideal, excluding real.


Except I actually found it, but I wasn't her ideal.

Not that I should be constantly competing with the likes of her countless orbiters spilling honey in her ears or the amazing TikTok husbands and boyfriends from all around the world  but it is what it is.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

moon7 said:


> In.this quote
> 
> To me it seems youre looking for ideal at the expense of real.


Don’t even get him started!!! 🤣


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Except I actually found it, but I wasn't her ideal.
> 
> Not that I should be constantly competing with the likes of her countless orbiters spilling honey in her ears or the amazing TikTok husbands and boyfriends from all around the world  but it is what it is.


What the heck is a tiktok husband? The only person i know who has tiktok is my uncle 😆


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> What the heck is a tiktok husband? The only person i know who has tiktok is my uncle 😆


6:35 - 6:50 in the video I posted describes it very well.



RandomDude said:


> When a woman watches TikTok couples all day on her phone then complaints I don't do X and Y like all the other 'showcase' boyfriends ignoring A and B, because A and B are just "expectations" and don't count 😆
> 
> From 6:20 onward the video talks about it and less about all the femi stuff.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> 6:35 - 6:50 in the video I posted describes it very well.


I was joking. But its still weird af. Its like the new version for the old harlequin hero, or the new vampire hero version 😆

Whats your age? Do women your age range use tiktok?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Except I actually found it, but I wasn't her ideal.
> 
> Not that I should be constantly competing with the likes of her countless orbiters spilling honey in her ears or the amazing TikTok husbands and boyfriends from all around the world  but it is what it is.


Better yet, can you send a picture of this lady and one of yours for evaluation? 😆

Joke


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’m too old for tiktok but not old enough for life alert. At least I have that going for me. 😂


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Not said:


> I’m too old for tiktok but not old enough for life alert. At least I have that going for me. 😂


Life alert?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> I was joking. But its still weird af. Its like the new version for the old harlequin hero, or the new vampire hero version 😆
> 
> Whats your age? Do women your age range use tiktok?


36. The women my age probably 50/50 with TikTok. Millenials though... yes. It's all they ever do.

My ex was 14 years younger. So yeah kinda my fault I built my house on the edge of a cliff









But sh-t happens


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> 36. The women my age probably 50/50 with TikTok. Millenials though... yes. It's all they ever do.
> 
> My ex was 14 years younger. So yeah kinda my fault I built my house on the edge of a cliff
> View attachment 93666
> ...


Ahh, now i understand.

Im 33 and my sister is 20 and, yes, some people her age have tiktok (maybe most ).

((Not judging the age thing))


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Then if you claime my personal experience (something i saw with my own eyes) if false, then the video is even more false, bc all the video do is "correlation means causation". No video, no ideal, trumps personal experience.


That video and many of their ilk, are for the most part stupid.

As to your personal experience, since so far you have not claimed that those who dropped you who you asked out, actually told you they dumped you because they asked you out. You actually can't know that the reason was because, you asked them out.

At the end of the day, you either know something or you do not, presuming stuff is simply a pathway to flawed conclusions.

There is an enormous number of things I don't know and will never know, and that is okay. It really is okay to not know something.

That said I have been asked out by lots of women (many more than I ever asked out), and from 21 through to 25 I dated plenty of them (not all since I turned several down as well) who asked me out. And in all but one instance, with those who asked me out I dumped all of them, some I did it very quickly and others after a longer while. The only exception being my wife (who asked me out), who after more than 26 years of being together I haven't dumped her. Whereas I was the person who did the dumping with two exceptions (one who asked me out and another who I asked out) although I later went on to dump them after we got back together.

Likewise I have also dumped everyone else I asked out as well, inclusive of the one who dumped me at one point, who I dumped later myself.

Yet in not one single instance did I dump any woman because she asked me out (or I asked them out), that was simply never the reason (which really is completely ridiculous). Now if I dated someone like you and dumped them, they like you may also believe that they got dumped because they asked me out. Yet they would be completely wrong, as a consequence of their flawed thinking.

But hey lots of people believe things that aren't true, with no evidence to prove their belief.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Personal said:


> That video and many of their ilk, are for the most part stupid.
> 
> As to your personal experience, since so far you have not claimed that those who dropped you who you asked out, actually told you they dumped you because they asked you out. You actually can't know that the reason was because, you asked them out.
> 
> ...


True. 

In my case i wasnt lucky aproaching, so i gave up.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

moon7 said:


> Life alert?


Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!!! 

No bells? I must be getting old.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

What are you guys talking about?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!!!
> 
> No bells? I must be getting old.


🤣


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

moon7 said:


> True.
> 
> In my case i wasnt lucky aproaching, so i gave up.


I'm sorry you weren't lucky (that's their loss), yet you're probably far better off, not being with the ones who dumped you.


----------



## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

@randomguy, at 36 you are solidly a millennial. Your ex is Gen Z lol.

I'm not going to mess up my algorithm watching your video but parasocial relationships are really, increasingly becoming more fulfilling and prevalent than real relationships. They can fill the need better than some chump who leaves socks everywhere and refuses to kiss you.

I think confused men blame feminism and I think it's an easy target because it's true that due to feminism, women have an easier time not relying on men for both social and physical protection. I also don't think that genie is going back into the bottle.

Where we are stuck is that we don't recognize this. Men have to become more emotionally well rounded or they risk getting left behind. I think you actually said it best - it's like porn. Most of us agree that porn can fill a certain need some men, but would also agree that porn is not a substitute for a relationship. Women increasingly "stepped up," for lack of a better word and you can see that in the generational differences between tolerance of specific sex acts.

I don't think that we are there with men yet, that if they want a fulfilling relationship outside of the benefit that porn/sex provides, they will also have to step up, emotionally. I think a lot of the railing against feminism is fighting against that realization just like certain anti-porn convictions are chafing against the thought that men can have different sexual outlets.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

@RandomDude ⬆


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> I'm not going to mess up my algorithm watching your video but parasocial relationships are really, increasingly becoming more fulfilling and prevalent than real relationships. They can fill the need better than some chump who leaves socks everywhere and refuses to kiss you.


Youre convincing me to create a tiktok account.😆

Youre very very convincing!!!🤣🤣🤣


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

FrenchFry said:


> at 36 you are solidly a millennial. Your ex is Gen Z lol.


Ok boomer 😅



> I'm not going to mess up my algorithm watching your video but parasocial relationships are really, increasingly becoming more fulfilling and prevalent than real relationships. They can fill the need better than some chump who leaves socks everywhere and refuses to kiss you.
> 
> I think confused men blame feminism and I think it's an easy target because it's true that due to feminism, women have an easier time not relying on men for both social and physical protection. I also don't think that genie is going back into the bottle.
> 
> ...


All I mostly got out of the video was that TikTok husbands ain't cool and some folk out there must have felt my pain otherwise it wouldn't end up on youtube! 😅

Sure we can step up emotionally but if the love we give is dismissed as mere expectations and have other men be worshipped for their ways of affection that's a type of rejection that will push us away regardless of how much we want to love someone.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Does anyone know some tiktok boyfriends i could follow? Please?

😆😆😆


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Ok boomer 😅
> 
> 
> 
> ...


OMG, and im here asking in another post why the heck my husband doesnt step up emotionally (all while he is loving some porn). And i dont even have a tiktok.

I should have a tiktok and look at another guy giving such emotional attention to another woman. It sounds so fullfilling...

You sure its not the oposite? The women not getting this emotional connection daydream about it watching others, no?!

Now, send me some of those tiktok boyfriends so i can add and watch them 🤣


----------



## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

@moon7 lol. Try searching "boyfriend ASMR"

@RandomDude lmao that was pretty boomer of me to tag you wrong.

I agree that it sucks but it sucks both ways, right? Women are pretty afraid of being dumped for reasons like not being pretty enough, skinny enough, whatever. It's the human condition!


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> What are you guys talking about?


It must be a US thing.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> @moon7 lol. Try searching "boyfriend ASMR"
> 
> @RandomDude lmao that was pretty boomer of me to tag you wrong.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣




FrenchFry said:


> I agree that it sucks but it sucks both ways, right? Women are pretty afraid of being dumped for reasons like not being pretty enough, skinny enough, whatever. It's the human condition!


True. True, true, true.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

moon7 said:


> Does anyone know some tiktok boyfriends i could follow? Please?
> 
> 😆😆😆


My good friends nephew is tiktok famous, I can’t remember his name (I’m terrible with names). But she’s showed me some of his “money maker” videos and… no. I feel an old cougar nasty pervert watching him do his… “dance challenges”. I’m staying far far away from tiktok and social media in general (except Pinterest where I get all my cute decorating ideas for my house. And recipes. 🙂)

Just look up “hot tiktok guys” and you will get an eyefull.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

FrenchFry said:


> @RandomDude lmao that was pretty boomer of me to tag you wrong.


I’d say more GenX. Boomer would be you asking him to setup your WiFi.🤣


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> It must be a US thing.


IKR!



moon7 said:


> OMG, and im here asking in another post why the heck my husband doesnt step up emotionally (all while he is loving some porn). And i dont even have a tiktok.
> 
> I should have a tiktok and look at another guy giving such emotional attention to another woman. It sounds so fullfilling...
> 
> Now, send me some of those tiktok boyfriends so i can add and watch them 🤣


I'm trying to figure out the story here because I'm like how did porn get into this thread lol, I didn't mention it once and I can't see it in the posts last few pages 🤷‍♂️



> You sure its not the oposite? The women not getting this emotional connection daydream about it watching others, no?!


So that's what it's all about?
Wonder if this is why all the love and affection I gave her really didn't matter one bit.

Could have told me so instead of bullsh-ting me for four years with all the soulmate crap.



> Now, send me some of those tiktok boyfriends so i can add and watch them 🤣


Why would you think *I* would have them? lol


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> My good friends nephew is tiktok famous, I can’t remember his name (I’m terrible with names). But she’s showed me some of his “money maker” videos and… no. I feel an old cougar nasty pervert watching him do his… “dance challenges”. I’m staying far far away from tiktok and social media in general (except Pinterest where I get all my cute decorating ideas for my house. And recipes. 🙂)
> 
> Just look up “hot tiktok guys” and you will get an eyefull.


Someone here watches TikToks of someone taking a sh-t and making faces on camera


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Ok boomer 😅
> 
> 
> 
> ...


From everything you've written I have to say that it doesn't appear that you can step up emotionally even if you wanted to.

And I think there are some other men out there like that.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> I don’t believe she cheated and left him, I believe she felt she put in her time and put her career on the sidelines to his for a long time, and when he finally said he was retiring she took him at his word. This is what some of her interviews have said all along, that she was lonely, essentially a single parent for much of the year, and wanted her husband and family to finally have their time. He unretired, and she had enough of being a football widow so she left him.
> 
> But maybe you guys are right and she did cheat. I didn’t see it that way. I think she was just lonely for a long time and moved the hell on. I don’t agree with how quickly she did it… but not my business.


We pretty much already know she cheated. She's already been seen on vacation with her JiuJitsu instructor. I seriously doubt she waited for the divorce to suddenly take interest in this guy when she's been rolling around on the mat with him anyway. She cheated, 100%.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> From everything you've written I have to say that it doesn't appear that you can step up emotionally even if you wanted to.


Not anymore no.

The ability to love another is not infinite it seems.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> We pretty much already know she cheated. She's already been seen on vacation with her JiuJitsu instructor. I seriously doubt she waited for the divorce to suddenly take interest in this guy when she's been rolling around on the mat with him anyway. She cheated, 100%.


Maybe she did. I don’t know her personally. Some people don’t wait for a divorce to be finalized, and I find it more and more common to see both sexes dating like 5 minutes after calling time on their marriage. Divorced or not. I think if he were already seen with someone nobody would blink an eye. I dunno. They have more money and fame than I can even comprehend, I don’t think they work the same as normal folk. But regardless, it is also possible she’s truthful in what she says.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Someone here watches TikToks of someone taking a sh-t and making faces on camera


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> View attachment 93673


Lol I find this amusing because it's possible the person is reading this right now 

You know who you are hahahaha


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Not anymore no.
> 
> The ability to love another is not infinite it seems.


My cousin's ex boyfriend just broke up 3 years ago and she is all sad and recovering and i repeat to her that she needs to first start rrcovering, so she may do a good choice next time, and start forgiving, so she doesnt punish neither herself nor her next boyfriend from the hurt her previous boyfriend caused her.

Just like yours she have no idea why he broke up,m. Even worse, some days later he started dating women one after another after another with zero respect fpr the 6 years they spent together.

Contrary to you she is not building red pill (in this case "feminist") crazy big theories for why he broke up.

I dont know why he broke up as she is just as lretty as any other one he is dating. And she has her own thing going on (a dentist clinic), while the gis he is going out with dont always have their sh!t together like my cousin.

He wanted to bang, he didnt like or respect her. Your case seems like this very simple one: she didnt care or respect you, with or without tiktok boyfriends.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> My good friends nephew is tiktok famous, I can’t remember his name (I’m terrible with names). But she’s showed me some of his “money maker” videos and… no. I feel an old cougar nasty pervert watching him do his… “dance challenges”. I’m staying far far away from tiktok and social media in general (except Pinterest where I get all my cute decorating ideas for my house. And recipes. 🙂)
> 
> Just look up “hot tiktok guys” and you will get an eyefull.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Here in Brazil everybody dances so it must be full of brazilian teens 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> My cousin's ex boyfriend just broke up 3 years ago and she is all sad and recovering and i repeat to her that she needs to first start rrcovering, so she may do a good choice next time, and start forgiving, so she doesnt punish neither herself nor her next boyfriend from the hurt her previous boyfriend caused her.
> 
> Just like yours she have no idea why he broke up,m. Even worse, some days later he started dating women one after another after another with zero respect fpr the 6 years they spent together.
> 
> ...


Errr.... I'm not anti feminist like the video, I mentioned that very clearly on my OP.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Also speaking of the video:

Backups and orbiters. Ex was beautiful but someone many years ago also asked me once "are you sure she's not doing anything to get that much attention?" How do I know she's not doing her part to string them along. I've *always* been suspicious, I chose to trust her because that's what you do when you love someone.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

moon7 said:


> 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
> 
> Here in Brazil everybody dances so it must be full of brazilian teens 🤣🤣🤣


He’s technically an adult, but just barely. I prefer a man. With hair and rough hands, not a boy who gyrates on the floor seductively. 🤮


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Enigma32 said:


> Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


You are looking at it all wrong. Instead of “even the GOAT can’t keep a woman happy” you should be thinking “to snag a multimillionaire super model all you have to do is be a BJJ instructor”. See the difference? 😂😂😂


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

CallingDrLove said:


> You are looking at it all wrong. Instead of “even the GOAT can’t keep a woman happy” you should be thinking “to snag a multimillionaire super model all you have to do is be a BJJ instructor”. See the difference? 😂😂😂


Lol he was just at the right place at the right time. Opportunities happen just like that 😅


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

CallingDrLove said:


> You are looking at it all wrong. Instead of “even the GOAT can’t keep a woman happy” you should be thinking “to snag a multimillionaire super model all you have to do is be a BJJ instructor”. See the difference? 😂😂😂


Do you know how many BJJ black belts there are in the world? Those guys are rare AF. Takes around 10 years for most people to get black belt so it's basically the equivalent of a doctor of martial arts, cept there are even fewer of them than doctors by a huge margin. So, to snag a multimillionaire supermodel, you need to be in the top whatever percentile to make it happen. Around 50k BJJ black belts worldwide. You do the math.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Do you know how many BJJ black belts there are in the world? Those guys are rare AF. Takes around 10 years for most people to get black belt so it's basically the equivalent of a doctor of martial arts, cept there are even fewer of them than doctors by a huge margin. So, to snag a multimillionaire supermodel, you need to be in the top whatever percentile to make it happen. Around 50k BJJ black belts worldwide. You do the math.


And be hot? (I’m just assuming he’s good looking since she is rich and famous)


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> And be hot? (I’m just assuming he’s good looking since she is rich and famous)


We live in the information age where images can appear in the palm of your hand yet... _sigh_

Anyway 😅


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> He’s technically an adult, but just barely. I prefer a man. With hair and rough hands, not a boy who gyrates on the floor seductively. 🤮


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Do you know how many BJJ black belts there are in the world? Those guys are rare AF. Takes around 10 years for most people to get black belt so it's basically the equivalent of a doctor of martial arts, cept there are even fewer of them than doctors by a huge margin. So, to snag a multimillionaire supermodel, you need to be in the top whatever percentile to make it happen. Around 50k BJJ black belts worldwide. You do the math.


Gisele though? Body is nice, but face bro WTF but hey... beauty is in the eye of the beholder  (I should have that as my signature)


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Which leads me to this semi-related thought. Men, beware if your girl takes up JiuJitsu. I trained with a couple ladies and they were hooking up with the guys in the gym. Kinda hard not to build chemistry with some girl when you are training in missionary position with her.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Gisele though? Body is nice, but face bro WTF but hey... beauty is in the eye of the beholder  (I should have that as my signature)


She's getting old, man. Can't be super hot forever.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> We live in the information age where images can appear in the palm of your hand yet... _sigh_
> 
> Anyway 😅
> 
> View attachment 93674


 I didn’t even know about this dude till you all brought it up. I don’t care what he looks like, my point was the statistics would also probably include being a badass in this martial art AND cute. Even slimmer statistics.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Also speaking of the video:
> 
> Backups and orbiters. Ex was beautiful but someone many years ago also asked me once "are you sure she's not doing anything to get that much attention?" How do I know she's not doing her part to string them along. I've *always* been suspicious, I chose to trust her because that's what you do when you love someone.


To have orbiters you need to feed the orbiters (with flirting).


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Which leads me to this semi-related thought. Men, beware if your girl takes up JiuJitsu. I trained with a couple ladies and they were hooking up with the guys in the gym. Kinda hard not to build chemistry with some girl when you are training in missionary position with her.


I want to do Krav Maga and kill people with my elbow. I wonder if there’s any missionary going on in there… 🤔 Sounds fun.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> She's getting old, man. Can't be super hot forever.


So I googled young Gisele...









😑 
Yeah to each their own lol


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> So I googled young Gisele...
> View attachment 93679
> 
> 
> ...


I rather my dumped cousin 10x
🤣


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> To have orbiters you need to feed the orbiters (with flirting).


Exactly my suspicions. It doesn't matter now but I'm surprised the video mentioned it, it's making my story seem so typical and common.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> So I googled young Gisele...
> View attachment 93679
> 
> 
> ...


There's a reason you're single when one of the most successful women at just being hot isn't attractive to you lol


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> So I googled young Gisele...
> View attachment 93679
> 
> 
> ...


Please, just the fact she isn’t Asian already lost the battle in your mind. You can’t go critiquing all the other races when you aren’t attracted regardless! 🤣


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> I want to do Krav Maga and kill people with my elbow. I wonder if there’s any missionary going on in there… 🤔 Sounds fun.


Not really. You wanna roll around on the mat with some decent looking guys, train BJJ. In fact, it's the best martial art for women anyway. Stay away from Krav Maga. Mostly a bunch of charlatans teaching that stuff.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Not really. You wanna roll around on the mat with some decent looking guys, train BJJ. In fact, it's the best martial art for women anyway. Stay away from Krav Maga. Mostly a bunch of charlatans teaching that stuff.


I like the “street violence” aspect of Krav Maga. It just sounds so fun. 🙂 You know, every day violence for every day people.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Which leads me to this semi-related thought. Men, beware if your girl takes up JiuJitsu. I trained with a couple ladies and they were hooking up with the guys in the gym. Kinda hard not to build chemistry with some girl when you are training in missionary position with her.


I did judo as a kid and some BJJ at Gracie Barra as an adult (was the only sport near where i lived where i could go walking) and I NEVER saw anything like that.

Nothing disrespectful AT ALL. All men were very respectfull. Only the first day a blondie said something "hey, we got a cutie" or something, but as i didnt flirt back it was over like that.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> There's a reason you're single when one of the most successful women at just being hot isn't attractive to you lol


 Hhahahahaha



QuietRiot said:


> Please, just the fact she isn’t Asian already lost the battle in your mind. You can’t go critiquing all the other races when you aren’t attracted regardless! 🤣


Hey hey back in @ConanHub 's thread I posted a few hot white AND black girls I'm physically attracted to


----------



## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> I dont, I say I'm messy because I'm smart and it's proven that smart people are messy 😛 😆


I am stealing that line!


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Enigma32 said:


> Do you know how many BJJ black belts there are in the world? Those guys are rare AF. Takes around 10 years for most people to get black belt so it's basically the equivalent of a doctor of martial arts, cept there are even fewer of them than doctors by a huge margin. So, to snag a multimillionaire supermodel, you need to be in the top whatever percentile to make it happen. Around 50k BJJ black belts worldwide. You do the math.


so 50,000 times more common than being Tom Brady.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> I like the “street violence” aspect of Krav Maga. It just sounds so fun. 🙂 You know, every day violence for every day people.


That's mostly a hook to reel in the uninitiated. No offense. One of the reasons arts like BJJ are so effective is because you can train the techniques on resisting opponents easily. With all that training, it becomes easier to pull off the techniques when your butt depends on it. Krav Maga teaches a lot of what they call lethal moves but because of their lethality you can't actually train them against someone who resists. Good luck getting a training partner for eye gouges and groin shots. So, in theory everything sounds great, but you'll have very little practical experience actually using the techniques you learn. If you wanna train it for fun or just for the experience, have at it, just don't get too overconfident in your learned skills.

When I worked as a corrections officer, our defensive tactics trainer was a somewhat well known Krav Maga artist and he was even more well known for being a charlatan. Just usually how it goes with that art.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

CallingDrLove said:


> so 50,000 times more common than being Tom Brady.


Which leads me back to my initial statement, even Tom Brady himself couldn't keep a woman happy.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> I am stealing that line!


Now with evidence via google! 









Science Confirms: Intelligent People Tend to Be Messier, Go to Bed Late and Curse a Lot


Are you messy? Do you have trouble falling asleep early? Or do you curse a lot? It turns out that you're not bad-mannered, you're just a genius! 🤭




enterpriseleague.com


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> That's mostly a hook to reel in the uninitiated. No offense. One of the reasons arts like BJJ are so effective is because you can train the techniques on resisting opponents easily. With all that training, it becomes easier to pull off the techniques when your butt depends on it. Krav Maga teaches a lot of what they call lethal moves but because of their lethality you can't actually train them against someone who resists. Good luck getting a training partner for eye gouges and groin shots. So, in theory everything sounds great, but you'll have very little practical experience actually using the techniques you learn. If you wanna train it for fun or just for the experience, have at it, just don't get too overconfident in your learned skills.
> 
> When I worked as a corrections officer, our defensive tactics trainer was a somewhat well known Krav Maga artist and he was even more well known for being a charlatan. Just usually how it goes with that art.


Good to know! I didn’t know any of this stuff. I am going to look into BJJ, or find some people to practice eye gouging on. I have some in mind. 😉

But really, thanks for the insight!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Now with evidence via google!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


In that case, I must be a flippin super genius. They also say smart people have bad hand writing.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Which leads me back to my initial statement, even Tom Brady himself couldn't keep a woman happy.


I think Tom Brady loves football more than any one human. So I’m not sure that’s a good equivalency?


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> Good to know! I didn’t know any of this stuff. I am going to look into BJJ, or find some people to practice eye gouging on. I have some in mind. 😉
> 
> But really, thanks for the insight!


You're welcome. I dabbled in a lot of stuff when I was younger. You train just 6 months in BJJ and you will learn some very valuable skills.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> I think Tom Brady loves football more than any one human. So I’m not sure that’s a good equivalency?


Maybe. A man should have a job though, right? She wanted the guy to quit his job. If my wife told me to quit my job, we would have problems too.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> There's a reason you're single when one of the most successful women at just being hot isn't attractive to you lol


I don't find her attractive at all, she really is meh.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Personal said:


> I don't find her attractive at all, she really is meh.


I dunno...you guys must be dating some serious hotties if this one doesn't get a rise out of you.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Maybe. A man should have a job though, right? She wanted the guy to quit his job. If my wife told me to quit my job, we would have problems too.


What I gather (ok I realize we are spending a lot of time on what hypothetically happened lol) is that they agreed she would be the “home base” and he would be the football hero until early 40s at latest. Since most football stars don’t make it even that long right? Then he would retire and she would be free to pursue fashion businesses and they would concentrate on their family together. He retired later than anticipated, and then couldn’t stand it so went back, even though he knew it would break their marriage. 

Let’s just say, I could see that being the case. But I could also see them both being entitled rich people who cheat and/or would rather have football than an intact family? And yes I could see it your way too, that she cheated on him and left him. Who knows what really happened, but I don’t think we need to feel sorry for Mr. Brady. I think he will be juuuuuuust fine.


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Enigma32 said:


> Maybe. A man should have a job though, right? She wanted the guy to quit his job. If my wife told me to quit my job, we would have problems too.


Brady has a job waiting in the wings as a Fox sports commentator that would pay about $30 million/year. He's going to need the money after his FTX debaucle.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> Maybe she did. I don’t know her personally. Some people don’t wait for a divorce to be finalized, and I find it more and more common to see both sexes dating like 5 minutes after calling time on their marriage. Divorced or not. I think if he were already seen with someone nobody would blink an eye. I dunno. They have more money and fame than I can even comprehend, I don’t think they work the same as normal folk. But regardless, it is also possible she’s truthful in what she says.


Just from what I've seen personally, I think especially with young people and people who are not going to have a problem dating, as soon as they decide the marriage is over that they seldom wait until it's final before they start seeing people. I think older people who've been married for most of their lives may not put themselves back out there at all sometimes or wait until it's over before they do. But that's about options.

It's hard on the people who date you when you've not officially ended the marriage yet and still have to see each other for different things but I understand why they don't wait and specially too rich people whose divorce it may take years to settle.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

UAArchangel said:


> Brady has a job waiting in the wings as a Fox sports commentator that would pay about $30 million/year. He's going to need the money after his FTX debaucle.


I think I read somewhere that they had very little of their own personal money tied up in FTX so Brady should be fine there.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> I dunno...you guys must be dating some serious hotties if this one doesn't get a rise out of you.
> 
> View attachment 93680


Her body is great, you know I'm into legs, it's her face for me.

I dunno, I might even have suspected she had a penis with that face if not for that body. (😅)


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Her body is great, you know I'm into legs, it's her face for me.
> 
> I dunno, I might even have suspected she had a penis with that face if not for that body. (😅)


Shoot, if she looked like that,I might overlook a penis if it wasn't too big 🤣


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Her body is great, you know I'm into legs, it's her face for me.
> 
> I dunno, I might even have suspected she had a penis with that face if not for that body. (😅)


It’s not like any woman (or man) is going to be universally attractive. She was attractive enough to be the highest earning model for many years… until the Kardashians infected that too. So I doubt she cares. I know I’d sure be willing to look ugly to some people if I still got to be a kajillionaire! As it is, I’m ugly to some people and have no millions of dollars. 😢


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Shoot, if she looked like that,I might overlook a penis if it wasn't too big 🤣


LOL!!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> It’s not like any woman (or man) is going to be universally attractive. She was attractive enough to be the highest earning model for many years… until the Kardashians infected that too. So I doubt she cares. I know I’d sure be willing to look ugly to some people if I still got to be a kajillionaire! As it is, I’m ugly to some people and have no millions of dollars. 😢


You would expect them to when they have such a following! I dunno, like I can understand if she was even at least moderately attractive. Like the last photo of her, if I hide her body with my fingers and just looked at the face it's a boner killer lol.

But again, there is no accounting for taste 😅 I always love to explore this because many times I can NEVER understand someone else's preferences lol


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

*









This is many of you guys. *


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> I dunno...you guys must be dating some serious hotties if this one doesn't get a rise out of you.
> 
> View attachment 93680


Yuk, her face is too masculine looking for my liking. Seriously her face looks like a mans face.


----------



## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> Which leads me back to my initial statement, even Tom Brady himself couldn't keep a woman happy.


All he has going for him is attractiveness, athleticism, fame and wealth. Those things START relationships but don't necessarily sustain relationships.

Relationships survive on trust, personality, well-matched libidos, reliability, attentiveness, integrity, reciprocity, more ephemeral things like that. I have no idea if Brady has those. Or Bundchen.

Attractiveness, athleticism, fame and wealth also tend to conceal a lack of those more important qualities, so you don't realize the relationship isn't sustainable until you're already married.

As for the video, I think it does a disservice to both men AND women. It stereotyped and made them both seem very shallow and two-dimensional.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> You would expect them to when they have such a following! I dunno, like I can understand if she was even at least moderately attractive. Like the last photo of her, if I hide her body with my fingers and just looked at the face it's a boner killer lol.
> 
> But again, there is no accounting for taste 😅 I always love to explore this because many times I can NEVER understand someone else's preferences lol


I mean you could take any iconic beauty in history and there will be men that think they are ugly. That’s just how it is. Marilyn Monroe even. There is no one person you’re going to get even 75% of people to agree is gorgeous. 

I would rather be one of those people that “fits someone’s eye” and am attractive to them on a whole different level in addition to physically. It only matters if I’m the most beautiful woman in the world to the one person I’m with.


----------



## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

QuietRiot said:


> What I gather (ok I realize we are spending a lot of time on what hypothetically happened lol) is that they agreed she would be the “home base” and he would be the football hero until early 40s at latest. Since most football stars don’t make it even that long right? Then he would retire and she would be free to pursue fashion businesses and they would concentrate on their family together. He retired later than anticipated, and then couldn’t stand it so went back, even though he knew it would break their marriage.
> 
> Let’s just say, I could see that being the case. But I could also see them both being entitled rich people who cheat and/or would rather have football than an intact family? And yes I could see it your way too, that she cheated on him and left him. Who knows what really happened, but I don’t think we need to feel sorry for Mr. Brady. I think he will be juuuuuuust fine.


See, that pulls in nicely with what I just said. They had an agreement about her career being sidelined until he finished his. He reneged on that agreement, so there goes the trust and the reciprocity, and the relationship falters.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> See, that pulls in nicely with what I just said. They had an agreement about her career being sidelined until he finished his. He reneged on that agreement, so there goes the trust and the reciprocity, and the relationship falters.


There were some carefully worded things she’s talked about over the years pointing to just that. Before any of this ever happened. So I’m a bit inclined to lean in on that being case. But it is sad to see peoples families falling apart even if they are rich and famous, I don’t think their kids understand that less or more than normal kids.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personal said:


> Yuk, her face is too masculine looking for my liking. *Seriously her face looks like a mans face.*


ITS NOT JUST ME!!!!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> There is no one person you’re going to get even 75% of people to agree is gorgeous.


I would bet on Jessica Alba 😊
Universal beauty it seems



> I would rather be one of those people that “fits someone’s eye” and am attractive to them on a whole different level in addition to physically. It only matters if I’m the most beautiful woman in the world to the one person I’m with.


When a man is in love she is 😉


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> I would bet on Jessica Alba 😊
> Universal beauty it seems


Nope.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personal said:


> Nope.


😮

Blasphemy!


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> ITS NOT JUST ME!!!!


I always thought that too. I get that she's tall and skinny but I never thought her face was that great and I don't see what's particularly sexy about her. She has no real shape to speak of.

But I'm a straight woman so what do I know? I do know that I've seen lots of women where I could see the sex appeal even though it doesn't turn me on.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> I dunno...you guys must be dating some serious hotties if this one doesn't get a rise out of you.
> 
> View attachment 93680


Eh. She has a cold looking face and a weird long torso.


----------



## Harry Lagman (2 mo ago)

Not said:


> Funny, I’ve had very similar thoughts about the last man I dated for 18 months. Selfish and entitled is what he was....
> All of this works both ways.


It works both ways insomuch as both women & men can be selfish in relationships, taking more than they give. The video is claiming that statistically a lot of men are feeling screwed over in relationships. Many women might, too, but I'd say that his central premise is 100% correct and it needs 

The video says a lot of negative things about women generally, some of which is somewhat inflammatory and I don't agree with. But I do think, crucially, that *the "balance of power" in life has shifted drastically in favour of women*. 

Here's why: the most important things to a man are sex, a relationship, and his family. Without these, status means very little (status just ensures sex/offspring etc) The women in a man's life decide when sex happens, whether it can lead to offspring, whose name goes on the birth certificate as father, whether the Dad gets to see his kids & form a bond with them, whether he sees his kids after a divorce (70-80% of divorces are initiated by women & the divorce courts are ruthlessly anti-men).

Thus the most important parts of a man's life are controlled by women, who often seem to think they don't have enough power - they want more..

I'd also argue that the same power imbalance holds before procreation - but this post is long enough already...


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Harry Lagman said:


> It works both ways insomuch as both women & men can be selfish in relationships, taking more than they give. The video is claiming that statistically a lot of men are feeling screwed over in relationships. Many women might, too, but I'd say that his central premise is 100% correct and it needs
> 
> The video says a lot of negative things about women generally, some of which is somewhat inflammatory and I don't agree with. But I do think, crucially, that *the "balance of power" in life has shifted drastically in favour of women*.
> 
> ...


Men still have all the power in setting the terms of a relationship to determine whether they will stay in one or not. Society has beaten down the self-worth of men since the 1970's, but men haven't had that power removed from them.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

UAArchangel said:


> *Men still have all the power in setting the terms of a relationship to determine whether they will stay in one or not*. Society has beaten down the self-worth of men since the 1970's, but men haven't had that power removed from them.


Isn't that only a "thing" in the "developed" western world? I doubt that the people in Ukraine are arguing over who has the power. Both the men and the women are doing their best to survive for their progeny. Both genders are fighting and dying to prtotect one another and their children, 

Men are only "beaten down" if they tolerate it.


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> Isn't that only a "thing" in the "developed" western world? I doubt that the people in Ukraine are arguing over who has the power. Both the men and the women are doing their best to survive for their progeny. Both genders are fighting and dying to prtotect one another and their children,
> 
> Men are only "beaten down" if they tolerate it.


I think it is a function of the gender, myself. No matter how good things may be or how bad things get, it is still the ability of the male to walk away if he doesn't like how things are.


----------



## Harry Lagman (2 mo ago)

UAArchangel said:


> Men still have all the power in setting the terms of a relationship to determine whether they will stay in one or not


Could you explain that in more concrete terms, please? Seems to me the opposite is the case.

I listed the types of power women have wrt parenthood - seems all true enough to me.


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Harry Lagman said:


> Could you explain that in more concrete terms, please? Seems to me the opposite is the case


As a function of gender, the woman gets to decide who she sleeps with and what she will do for the male to try and keep him around. When I say this, I mean more than just sex. She might decide if, although she isn't into as much sex as she used to be. However, she might be willing to offer him 5-star hotel quality meals in addition to a vanilla sex life or other intrinsic qualities.

A man can decide if what a woman offers him is enough for him to stick around. A woman can't stop a man from ending a relationship on a moment's notice if he so chooses and for whatever reason he decides to do so.


----------



## Harry Lagman (2 mo ago)

"A man can decide if what a woman offers him is enough for him to stick around. A woman can't stop a man from ending a relationship on a moment's notice if he so chooses and for whatever reason he decides to do so"

What part of that is not true for women?


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Harry Lagman said:


> "A man can decide if what a woman offers him is enough for him to stick around. A woman can't stop a man from ending a relationship on a moment's notice if he so chooses and for whatever reason he decides to do so"
> 
> What part of that is not true for women?


There is nothing stopping a woman from doing this as well, but a woman with children will have much more difficulty in doing this. Any man who enters her life has to decide if he wants to care for children as well. The number of men who want to do is not very many.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> If only we were all that careful. I'm afraid not, though.


I was looking for the one and kept finding the 304s that were just about sex.

I remember one girl I really liked and one day during talk about dating, she mentioned her F-Buddy back home. This was before the term FWB came about. A friend that if she was not seeing someone and got horny and he was not with anyone at the time, they would call and hookup.

That just blew my mind, that someone could do that without an emotional attachment. That was the end of that relationship. Same page hell, she and I were not in the same book. I was lost as to where all the decent girls were, seemed like they were all out for the sex only. They did not want a LTR because it would stifle the number of men they still wanted to ride.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Harry Lagman said:


> "A man can decide if what a woman offers him is enough for him to stick around. A woman can't stop a man from ending a relationship on a moment's notice if he so chooses and for whatever reason he decides to do so"
> 
> What part of that is not true for women?


Exactly. Applies to both.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I dont harbor any views against women or power dynamics or what not despite the exhaustion, but if dating has become like what I experienced, with women on their phones all day throwing tiktok comparisons to their partners and complaining then hell lol

Video also hit home when it mentioned how we just want to go home and pray she's in a good mood and not about to unload her latest list of complaints that I don't do enough for her and that other men do X and Y for their girlfriends. And of course the orbiters...

Like hell if this is millennial dating then my generation and next one is screwed and how to help my daughter navigate this?

I have to admit, in terms of quality, ex wife was and is still the best despite our issues, even though she wasn't the smartest or prettiest. If only I could have loved her the way I loved my last ex. Meh, not like I can love anyone now anyway. Just annoying all this sh-t is like Russian roulette mixed with rocket science.

Why can't sh-t be simpler.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> I dont harbor any views against women or power dynamics or what not despite the exhaustion, but if dating has become like what I experienced, with women on their phones all day throwing tiktok comparisons to their partners and complaining then hell lol
> 
> Video also hit home when it mentioned how we just want to go home and pray she's in a good mood and not about to unload her latest list of complaints that I don't do enough for her and that other men do X and Y for their girlfriends.
> 
> Like hell if this is millennial dating then my generation and next one is screwed and how to help my daughter navigate this?


Is this is what a woman (or man,) is like, then don't date them! Then, terminate the relationship! 

I have 2 kids in their early 20s. So do my close friends, and i knew these 20s very well. Not all women are like this.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Livvie said:


> Is this is what a woman (or man,) is like, then don't date them! Then, terminate the relationship!
> 
> I have 2 kids in their early 20s. So do my close friends, and i knew these 20s very well. Not all women are like this.


She wasn't like that on our first year. Well, more accurately she probably held it in more 😆

By the time things get bad probably already invested as it always goes... 🙄


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Yeah I don't like the anti feminist stuff in the video in particular, like I could never get involved with my fbuddy because she was precisely that, no financial management skills, in debt and unemployed. But she was a hot lay and she scratched my itch very, very well I haven't had the itch since 😆


I wish I could fine a an f-buddy like that.


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Is this is what a woman (or man,) is like, then don't date them! Then, terminate the relationship!
> 
> I have 2 kids in their early 20s. So do my close friends, and i knew these 20s very well. Not all women are like this.


No one said "all women". There are always exceptions but generalizations still hold. All of our national policies, social support systems, and other societal decisions are made from generalizations and not exceptions. So we are focusing here on the generalization (I think, more specifically western women) and not exceptions.


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> When you're handed lemons, you need to make lemonade. He will be having all those lemons in bikinis laying around his pool long before the ink on their divorce decree is dry.


LOL. That was funny (even though the topic is somewhat serious)


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Indian_Nerd_Dad said:


> I wish I could fine a an f-buddy like that.


Really? Well to each their own lol

I was always waiting for her to ask me for money, either I've been lucky or just didn't stick around long enough for her to fleece me but she did attempt to get me to take her on a skiing trip with me forking the bill.


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> No one should shed a single tear for that guy, I am sure they are all lined up, one hotter than the next, ready to get under him, so he can get over her...lol..


Yup, I would actually think he is lucky. It the "average joe" (someone like me) who is the context of the generalizations in the video.


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

Harry Lagman said:


> Thus the most important parts of a man's life are controlled by women, who often seem to think they don't have enough power - they want more..


Power is an intoxicating and addicting feeling. You will never have enough and hence there isn't a good end in sight.


----------



## Indian_Nerd_Dad (Dec 23, 2021)

UAArchangel said:


> Men still have all the power in setting the terms of a relationship to determine whether they will stay in one or not. Society has beaten down the self-worth of men since the 1970's, but men haven't had that power removed from them.


The point is about having a "good relationship". If a man is constantly watching his back to see when his parter is going to stab him in the back, that is not what I would think of as a "good relationship". That said, I don't know what "power" you are referring to, there is a long list of "most important things" in a man's life such as children (including how your own children treat you), home, family, money, etc. that are entirely controlled by the woman. So other than subjugating himself in marriage, I am not sure what "power" a man has left (other than walking away broken and broke)


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Indian_Nerd_Dad said:


> No one said "all women". There are always exceptions but generalizations still hold. All of our national policies, social support systems, and other societal decisions are made from generalizations and not exceptions. So we are focusing here on the generalization (I think, more specifically western women) and not exceptions.


Nah. 

_I_ was talking about a woman watching TikTok videos and then attacking her partner when he comes home that he's not doing what the dudes in the TikTok videos do. 

What you said had nothing to do with that particular and peculiar scenario that I was talking about.


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Indian_Nerd_Dad said:


> The point is about having a "good relationship". If a man is constantly watching his back to see when his parter is going to stab him in the back, that is not what I would think of as a "good relationship". That said, I don't know what "power" you are referring to, there is a long list of "most important things" in a man's life such as children (including how your own children treat you), home, family, money, etc. that are entirely controlled by the woman. So other than subjugating himself in marriage, I am not sure what "power" a man has left (other than walking away broken and broke)


Power is the ability. If you came to an agreement that your wife will take the responsibilities of the household as part of the marriage, but she quits taking care of the house, you can decide if you are fine with that. If you stay, you made the decision. If you decided that you will end the marriage because doesnt want to clean the house, you can decide that as well. 
That's all I mean by that.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Livvie said:


> Nah.
> 
> _I_ was talking about a woman watching TikTok videos and then attacking her partner when he comes home that he's not doing what the dudes in the TikTok videos do.
> 
> What you said had nothing to do with that particular and peculiar scenario that I was talking about.


With such a video it seems the thread will tend to have multiple discussions in parallel lol


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> I was looking for the one and kept finding the 304s that were just about sex.
> 
> I remember one girl I really liked and one day during talk about dating, she mentioned her F-Buddy back home. This was before the term FWB came about. A friend that if she was not seeing someone and got horny and he was not with anyone at the time, they would call and hookup.
> 
> That just blew my mind, that someone could do that without an emotional attachment. That was the end of that relationship. Same page hell, she and I were not in the same book. I was lost as to where all the decent girls were, seemed like they were all out for the sex only. They did not want a LTR because it would stifle the number of men they still wanted to ride.


I don't think most women are just out for sex at all but I do think they get lonely and settle for sex in a lonely moment.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> With such a video it seems the thread will tend to have multiple discussions in parallel lol


Yes. 

He shouldn't quote me then, though, if I'm not talking about what he is.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

UAArchangel said:


> Men still have all the power in setting the terms of a relationship to determine whether they will stay in one or not.


That applies to both the men and women.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

UAArchangel said:


> I think it is a function of the gender, myself. No matter how good things may be or how bad things get, it is still the ability of the male to walk away if he doesn't like how things are.


Women can too, and do!


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

UAArchangel said:


> There is nothing stopping a woman from doing this as well, but a woman with children will have much more difficulty in doing this. Any man who enters her life has to decide if he wants to care for children as well. The number of men who want to do is not very many.


You are assuming the men are walking away from the kids also. If the custody is split, they are in the same situation.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't think most women are just out for sex at all but I do think they get lonely and settle for sex in a lonely moment.


The must have been having a lot of lonely moments then.

And there was not a settling for sex, that was all they wanted. The just wanted the hookup.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Harry Lagman said:


> It works both ways insomuch as both women & men can be selfish in relationships, taking more than they give. The video is claiming that statistically a lot of men are feeling screwed over in relationships. Many women might, too, but I'd say that his central premise is 100% correct and it needs
> 
> The video says a lot of negative things about women generally, some of which is somewhat inflammatory and I don't agree with. But I do think, crucially, that *the "balance of power" in life has shifted drastically in favour of women*.
> 
> ...





Harry Lagman said:


> It works both ways insomuch as both women & men can be selfish in relationships, taking more than they give. The video is claiming that statistically a lot of men are feeling screwed over in relationships. Many women might, too, but I'd say that his central premise is 100% correct and it needs
> 
> The video says a lot of negative things about women generally, some of which is somewhat inflammatory and I don't agree with. But I do think, crucially, that *the "balance of power" in life has shifted drastically in favour of women*.
> 
> ...


In answer I guess I would say…we all take risks in life. Nothing is guaranteed. It’s like this with everything.

Women take risks entering into relationships too. My last relationship with the man I mentioned bordered on abusive. I didn’t know it would be like that. It turned out that way. I left. 

People lie. People cheat. People use others. Sometimes people just simply change their minds. And people get hurt.


I won’t deny that what you say is true, it all definitely happens but that is life. If a man chooses to stop dating because of the risks that’s his prerogative. But the making of that decision itself, he cannot blame on women, because other men are not choosing the same thing he is. That decision is coming from within himself.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> The must have been having a lot of lonely moments then.
> 
> And there was not a settling for sex, that was all they wanted. The just wanted the hookup.


I just think usually they're wanting that to turn into something more but not always of course. Speaking only for myself there were only a couple of guys that I only just wanted to have sex with and didn't want to get involved with for whatever reason. One was just a big liability. The other I'd already dated and knew it wasn't going anywhere. But certainly there is a degree of exploring for many people including women when they're young.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I watched a good portion of the video, I can't really say that I think the topics he brings up are applicable to most modern dating relationships. But I would I agree that there is a certain "type" of person that behaves this way. I might even agree that a higher percentage of them are younger. I do think "most" people become more mature and grounded in reality over time.

I did have somewhat of a similar experience when I returned to the dating scene. The woman I was dating had a friend with a playboy French boyfriend with a private jet. She constantly would make remarks that I wasn't private jet rich, and talk about all the rich and famous people he knew etc. I'll be honest, it hurt my feelings because it happened so slowly I didn't even realize that all I was getting back from her was negative energy. I couldn't even pinpoint when the change occurred. I ended up walking away from that situation....but not before it did some emotional damage. But....I didn't let that experience change how I approach relationships.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> In answer I guess I would say…we all take risks in life. Nothing is guaranteed. It’s like this with everything.
> 
> Women take risks entering into relationships too. My last relationship with the man I mentioned bordered on abusive. I didn’t know it would be like that. It turned out that way. I left.
> 
> ...


Pretty much, it's all up to us.

It is important to invest wisely though, as even though I regret nothing after a while even if the heart heals when it takes enough beatings it just runs out of juice when it comes to loving.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I just find it full of stereotypes and generalisations. As usual.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ReformedHubby said:


> I watched a good portion of the video, I can't really say that I think the topics he brings up are applicable to most modern dating relationships. But I would I agree that there is a certain "type" of person that behaves this way. I might even agree that a higher percentage of them are younger. I do think "most" people become more mature and grounded in reality over time.
> 
> I did have somewhat of a similar experience when I returned to the dating scene. The woman I was dating had a friend with a playboy French boyfriend with a private jet. She constantly would make remarks that I wasn't private jet rich, and talk about all the rich and famous people he knew etc. I'll be honest, it hurt my feelings because it happened so slowly I didn't even realize that all I was getting back from her was negative energy. I couldn't even pinpoint when the change occurred. I ended up walking away from that situation....but not before it did some emotional damage. But....I didn't let that experience change how I approach relationships.


Yeah ex compared me to her gfs bfs too after a while I just told her to go fk her friends bf then because seriously how else was I to respond to crap like that? 🙄


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## Harry Lagman (2 mo ago)

Not said:


> In answer I guess I would say…we all take risks in life. Nothing is guaranteed. It’s like this with everything.
> ...
> Women take risks entering into relationships too.
> ...
> If a man chooses to stop dating because of the risks that’s his prerogative.


Yeah. That's all fair and it's a real shame to just stop dating because it's difficult. I obviously see it from a bloke's POV, and while the video was a bit over the top, there are guy's issues also worth looking into.

Sorry to hear about your bad experience with a guy


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## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Yeah ex compared me to her gfs bfs too after a while I just told her to go fk her friends bf then because seriously how else was I to respond to crap like that? 🙄


It's natural to compare. My husband does compare me to friends and neighbors wives but I always come out better. If he feels that I'm "worse" I doubt he'd share that with me. 

Your ex had poor social skills.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Yeah ex compared me to her gfs bfs too after a while I just told her to go fk her friends bf then because seriously how else was I to respond to crap like that? 🙄


I wasn't proud of how I reacted to it either. I got mean too. It's why I left, not only was it no fun being around her anymore, I didn't even like myself when I was around her. She sounded exactly like your ex. Every social media pic was like throwing chum in the water to her "fans". While I do think I really loved her. I didn't walk away feeling disenfranchised. I guess because I feel like the relationship really shouldn't count. 

I don't think she loved me. She had a "role" in mind for boyfriend and gave the part to me. Ironically when I look back at that time in my life. To most outsiders it appeared that she was my trophy girlfriend, but in reality I was just an accessory to her, her Ken doll of the moment. I think people would be surprised about the internal dynamics of some relationships. I was just happy to be free of it. I can't say I was put off by dating because of her, I just thought I picked the wrong one and put her back.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Brigit24 said:


> It's natural to compare. My husband does compare me to friends and neighbors wives but I always come out better. If he feels that I'm "worse" I doubt he'd share that with me.
> 
> Your ex had poor social skills.


I focused on what she had not what she didn't have, she had lots of women to be compared to and had her ups and downs just like anyone else, but I loved her as a package and didn't want her to change one bit except for her nagging and crap.



ReformedHubby said:


> I wasn't proud of how I reacted to it either. I got mean too. It's why I left, not only was it no fun being around her anymore, I didn't even like myself when I was around her. She sounded exactly like your ex. Every social media pic was like throwing chum in the water to her "fans". While I do think I really loved her. I didn't walk away feeling disenfranchised. I guess because I feel like the relationship really shouldn't count.
> 
> I don't think she loved me. She had a "role" in mind for boyfriend and gave the part to me. Ironically when I look back at that time in my life. To most outsiders it appeared that she was my trophy girlfriend, but in reality I was just an accessory to her, her Ken doll of the moment. I think people would be surprised about the internal dynamics of some relationships. I was just happy to be free of it. I can't say I was put off by dating because of her, I just thought I picked the wrong one and put her back.


Ex had her pluses, a lot of them actually, she did give a lot of love but this was the vice that would never be resolved and tore us apart slowly over time. It was hard to walk away with the connection we had due to wavelength.

In the end she did say "let us keep going until one of us falls out of love", and she kept her promises at least. She was decent compared to a lot at least despite this nutty vice.

You dodged a bullet I guess, how old was she?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

hamadryad said:


> I dunno.....I watched a little bit of the video and am just chiming in with another perspective...The video is nonsense, at least the part I had to suffer through...Sorry in advance if I am crashing the pity fest...
> 
> This thinking that people are having more sex now than they used to and everyone just cheats is nonsense, really...Statistically people are having even less sex, despite the internet than we were(gen X)...I don't even want to admit what it was like, and what experiences I had in the late 80's and early 90's....when I was 17-24 ish.....good grief aint nothing happening like that today...I have a 20 year old daughter that tells me everything that's going on...its not a wild sex fest like a lot of people think...
> 
> ...


^^^This. All of it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Lila said:


> ^^^This. All of it.


Back to the video, I do wonder what is the appeal of non independent or "traditional" women either than cooking and cleaning.

All my exs cooked and cleaned and were independent. Well... ex wife wasn't really independent but her family was rich so 🙄

I couldn't even look at my fbuddy the same as other women, not even my other fbuddies in the past.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> You are assuming the men are walking away from the kids also. If the custody is split, they are in the same situation.


I think he's talking about kids by other fathers.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think he's talking about kids by other fathers.


If that is the case, then it is irrelevant, as the mom would be in same situation whether or not guy was not in picture or left.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> I don’t disagree. For many men it’s not worth it. But it goes the other way too. There is nothing a man has to offer me that I need. I don’t even need the sex because apparently that’s connected to emotional connection for me, so even better.
> 
> I really like your story @Divinely Favored, I feel the same. If the good Lord has a plan then so be it, but I won’t accept anything less. If that man never comes around that’s amazing. I rather like being single and unencumbered by bullpoopy.
> 
> But the great thing about all of this is that there is enough men and women in the world to all use each other for sex and nothing else if they want. I just don’t happen to be one of those and I’m good with everyone else having at it. Enjoy!


I’m a guy, but you put it the way I see it too. I’m to the point, there is nothing a woman has to offer that I can’t live without. It seems like women have this long list of requirements before they consider a guy. They are looking for an awesome man, but as a guy, I wonder what they bring to the table as well. If I have to be such a perfect man in everything from height to income, what do I get in return? What about a woman will make me look forward to each day? It goes both ways.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I just think usually they're wanting that to turn into something more but not always of course. But certainly there is a degree of exploring for many people including women when they're young.


Sometimes it is not the norm that occurs, in my case, I was the good guy looking for LTR and it was the girls that were going through their 304 phases. Heck I would have married my 1st GF but I found out, she was not what she claimed to be.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.
> 
> However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄
> 
> For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


I couldn't listen to the whole video because it is delusional talk by an angry guy. I mean, when you lead with "women just want to work 4 hours at their cushy artsy fartsy jobs but don't want to be bothered to make a home cooked meal for their man who's busting his ass", I'm out. It's completely unrelateable to me or any of the women I know (and I know a lot of women).

Here's what I see as the truth. Men focus on one quality, physical appearance, when determining who they date. Few men will enter into a relationship, much less wife up, an ugly woman even if she's the ideal girlfriend/wife otherwise. They'll have sex with her but never ever make her a girlfriend or wife.

Women focus on a hundred qualities when determining with whom they want to enter into a relationship. They'll marry an ugly guy who meets all of the other qualities. 

What happens when a woman fails to settle for the guy that doesn't have the qualities they seek for a long term commitment? If the only options for companionship are strictly on the casually dating/sex level, then they are going to pick the hottest or the most "generou$" men (depending on their goals).

What happens when a man fails to settle for the less than hot woman? If he wants companionship, he'll seek out casual dating/sex with women who don't meet their standards for hotness. 

Everyone, men and women, don't want to settle on their standards. What's worse is that most feel entitled to people who are way outside their league.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

southbound said:


> I’m a guy, but you put it the way I see it too. I’m to the point, there is nothing a woman has to offer that I can’t live without. It seems like women have this long list of requirements before they consider a guy. They are looking for an awesome man, but as a guy, I wonder what they bring to the table as well. If I have to be such a perfect man in everything from height to income, what do I get in return? What about a woman will make me look forward to each day? It goes both ways.


People are always entitled to whatever expectations of love and physical wants and financial wants. I don’t have any issues with those people having requirements or not. But I’m pretty sure there is a special lady in the world that would have something wonderful to offer you. And I’m sure there are men in the world that are the same for me. I am not saying there’s no value in men in general, just saying… I don’t need it, same way a lot of guys just want sex and that’s it. No skin off my back as I’m not one being the sperm depository.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

QuietRiot said:


> People are always entitled to whatever expectations of love and physical wants and financial wants. I don’t have any issues with those people having requirements or not. But I’m pretty sure there is a special lady in the world that would have something wonderful to offer you. And I’m sure there are men in the world that are the same for me. I am not saying there’s no value in men in general, just saying… I don’t need it, same way a lot of guys just want sex and that’s it. No skin off my back as I’m not one being the sperm depository.


Man or woman, there is no value in getting married, period.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> Back to the video, *I do wonder what is the appeal of non independent or "traditional" women either than cooking and cleaning*.
> 
> All my exs cooked and cleaned and were independent. Well... ex wife wasn't really independent but her family was rich so 🙄
> 
> I couldn't even look at my fbuddy the same as other women, not even my other fbuddies in the past.


To be honest, I'm not sure. You'd have to ask men who prefer traditional relationships. I think they work well if both people go into it with a sense of giving and growing versus insecurity and selfishness.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Man or woman, there is no value in getting married, period.


I have to agree. Even though I loved being married and being a wife and having that type of partnership when it was good. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

QuietRiot said:


> I have to agree. Even though I loved being married and being a wife and having that type of partnership when it was good. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore.


Risks aren't worth the reward


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Risks aren't worth the reward


You are full of truths today. Absolutely not worth the risk.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Lila said:


> Here's what I see as the truth. Men focus on one quality, physical appearance, when determining who they date. Few men will enter into a relationship, much less wife up, an ugly woman even if she's the ideal girlfriend/wife otherwise. They'll have sex with her but never ever make her a girlfriend or wife.
> 
> Women focus on a hundred qualities when determining with whom they want to enter into a relationship. They'll marry an ugly guy who meets all of the other qualities.


Lol I focus on the one quality when determining who to bang. I focus on a hundred or two hundred qualities when determining with whom I want to enter into a relationship


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

southbound said:


> What about a woman will make me look forward to each day? It goes both ways.


Heh or you can look forward to seeing her but then she starts the day with a fight. Then complains that you are upset and not in the mood for sex 🤦‍♂️


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> Risks aren't worth the reward


Reward is overrated to be honest, the only thing I really miss are the cuddles with an LTR. However the feelings of belonging, purpose, safety that came with the cuddles in the past, I doubt I can have again as it was all a fantasy, an illusion of belonging, purpose and safety.

Once I get a cat again I think my cuddle-starvation will be solved.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> Lol I focus on the one quality when determining who to bang. I focus on a hundred or two hundred qualities when determining with whom I want to enter into a relationship


Me too. 😁


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Not said:


> In answer I guess I would say…we all take risks in life. Nothing is guaranteed. It’s like this with everything.
> 
> Women take risks entering into relationships too. My last relationship with the man I mentioned bordered on abusive. I didn’t know it would be like that. It turned out that way. I left.
> 
> ...


Agreed. Everything in life is a risk and that includes relationships. If people don't want to take risk that's their decision but their lives will be lacking as a result. 
It's just as much a risk for both sexes. One isn't more hard done by than the other as much as some men would like us to believe. 

Personally I see just having lots of casual sex with no actual real relationship as FAR more of a risk than actually dating and getting to know someone is. You haven't a clue who it is you are having sex with, or whether they have STDs or mental health issues or are dangerous. 
You are literally risking your life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

southbound said:


> I’m a guy, but you put it the way I see it too. I’m to the point, there is nothing a woman has to offer that I can’t live without. It seems like women have this long list of requirements before they consider a guy. They are looking for an awesome man, but as a guy, I wonder what they bring to the table as well. If I have to be such a perfect man in everything from height to income, what do I get in return? What about a woman will make me look forward to each day? It goes both ways.


You are clearly looking in the wrong place.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> Risks aren't worth the reward


I see the rewards as very much worth the risk, as do the countless couples in relationships and in marriages. 
Why is taking a risk so scary? Nothing ventured nothing gained I say.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> Agreed. Everything in life is a risk and that includes relationships. If people don't want to take risk that's their decision but their lives will be lacking as a result.
> It's just as much a risk for both sexes. One isn't more hard done by than the other as much as some men would like us to believe.


For some folk, including myself, even if we want it, it's no longer in our power to give when it comes to love.

Sure I can do what some men do and just take and take and give nothing back, but I still have standards of what type of man I want to be and what example I want to represent for my daughter.



> Personally I see just having lots of casual sex with no actual real relationship as FAR more of a risk than actually dating and getting to know someone is. *You haven't a clue who it is you are having sex with, or whether they have STDs or mental health issues or are dangerous. You are literally risking your life.*


You don't have a clue even in a relationship hahahaha


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> I see the rewards as very much worth the risk, as do the countless couples in relationships and in marriages.
> Why is taking a risk so scary? Nothing ventured nothing gained I say.


To much to lose and to much could be damaged


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> I see the rewards as very much worth the risk, as do the countless couples in relationships and in marriages.
> Why is taking a risk so scary? Nothing ventured nothing gained I say.


Hey I'm a risk taker I dive head face into trainwrecks, interracial, interreligious and last one "intergenerational" (fancy term for... CRADLE ROBBINGTM )

And I dived straight back into the dating pool 6 months after losing someone I thought was the love of my life but it's like going to the toilet constipated, nothing comes out!


After a while you just have nothing left so 🤷‍♂️


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think it's possible men are more focused on sex now (just possible, I don't know) but actually having it less than before internet. People mostly had to learn to be outgoing and social at some point before internet, and a lot of sex was going on before the AIDS with no cure in the 80s and 90s.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

southbound said:


> I’m a guy, but you put it the way I see it too. I’m to the point, there is nothing a woman has to offer that I can’t live without. It seems like women have this long list of requirements before they consider a guy. They are looking for an awesome man, but as a guy, I wonder what they bring to the table as well. If I have to be such a perfect man in everything from height to income, what do I get in return? What about a woman will make me look forward to each day? It goes both ways.


There's a lot of great women out there, but seems like the issue for men these days is their main currency is sex, not everything else women bring to the table, like nesting and having kids and contributing a second income.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> To much to lose and to much could be damaged


Yup, you'll end up like me if you keep going lol

Soulless, well almost. I have a teeny bit left, but THAT I will reserve for myself 
It's the part of my soul that expresses itself creatively though, nothing that can really be shared in a relationship-sense.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> Yup, you'll end up like me if you keep going lol
> 
> Soulless, well almost. I have a teeny bit left, but THAT I will reserve for myself
> It's the part of my soul that expresses itself creatively though, nothing that can really be shared in a relationship-sense.


I have my kids, family and friends to keep me grounded. I will never be soulless.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> I have my kids, family and friends to keep me grounded. I will never be soulless.


I have one kid, but she sure ain't keeping me grounded now she's tearing my hair out because she hacked her phone and parental controls and thought she could fool her daddy who is always several steps ahead.
You're lucky they are out of teens


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> I have one kid, but she sure ain't keeping me grounded now she's tearing my hair out because she hacked her phone and parental controls and thought she could fool her daddy who is always several steps ahead.
> You're lucky they are out of teens


One teen, one pre-teen and a grade schooler here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> One teen, one pre-teen and a grade schooler here. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Well crap, that would keep you freakin busy enough to not even think about any of this stuff


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## Harry Lagman (2 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> It's just as much a risk for both sexes. One isn't more hard done by than the other as much as some men would like us to believe.


No women ever claim that? My word, heh.
I'm not sure how you'd measure who's more hard done by, who gives or takes most - or indeed how anyone could be sure that troubles are exactly equally apportioned..

It's just worth trying to understand why a lot of men apparently have a far more jaded view of relationships & marriage than used to be the case, rather than just dismissing it as complaining.

We _were_ told for a rather long time by a certain group of people _cough_ that there was a power imbalance between the sexes. Perhaps it has shifted the other way. Either way, marriage is changing - this is an obvious place to discuss it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> For some folk, including myself, even if we want it, it's no longer in our power to give when it comes to love.
> 
> Sure I can do what some men do and just take and take and give nothing back, but I still have standards of what type of man I want to be and what example I want to represent for my daughter.
> 
> ...


Of course you do, you get to know them over time.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Harry Lagman said:


> No women ever claim that? My word, heh.
> I'm not sure how you'd measure who's more hard done by, who gives or takes most - or indeed how anyone could be sure that troubles are exactly equally apportioned..
> 
> It's just worth trying to understand why a lot of men apparently have a far more jaded view of relationships & marriage than used to be the case, rather than just dismissing it as complaining.
> ...


I dont agree that men have reason to have a more jaded view. I had more reasons than most to have a jaded view of men and relationships and marriage, but it's up to each of us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward. Not to let the past keep us in chains or ruin the rest of our lives. What a waste that would be. 
I know a lady who was sexually abused by her father as a child for years. Even she was able to say in her 20's that even though he had ruined her childhood she wasn't going to let him ruin the rest of her life. If she can do that then so can we.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> To much to lose and to much could be damaged


So much more to lose if we let fear control us. I would much rather take a risk and lose than live that way.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> So much more to lose if we let fear control us. I would much rather take a risk and lose than live that way.


Taking a risk and losing substantial business and financial holdings that would go to the kids in the future and support me a present would be an idiotic decision.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> Of course you do, you get to know them over time.


Yes we get to know the person they want us to think we are in love with. Everytime we have doubts that's OK, there's reassurance, there's trust, there's all that jazz because that's what you do when a fool in love. Oh the wool over our eyes.

So yeah, still find the risk factor for an LTR much higher than a casual lay you are tapping while double bagged (as in, wearing protection) haha 😄


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Back to the video, I do wonder what is the appeal of non independent or "traditional" women either than cooking and cleaning.
> 
> All my exs cooked and cleaned and were independent. Well... ex wife wasn't really independent but her family was rich so 🙄
> 
> I couldn't even look at my fbuddy the same as other women, not even my other fbuddies in the past.


First, I think you are looking at this wrong. You are equating a trad woman with one who is not independent. That's not how it is. My wife is trad AF. The traditional ladies just embrace their gender role instead of denying it. My wife dresses pretty...for me. Heck, I pick out half her clothes now. She makes new, interesting dinners all the time. I post pics online for my friends to get jealous because most of my guy friends who have wives and girlfriends are paying for takeout. She also takes cares of herself really well. She can sew, cook, clean, do landscaping, grow vegetables, you name it. She's been more independent than the independent ladies I've dated.

Maybe it's different because you date the Asian ladies and they all know how to cook anyway, but in my experience, the independent ladies I dated, they always expected me to be a man, and they would just be whatever.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> First, I think you are looking at this wrong. You are equating a trad woman with one who is not independent. That's not how it is. My wife is trad AF. The traditional ladies just embrace their gender role instead of denying it. My wife dresses pretty...for me. Heck, I pick out half her clothes now. She makes new, interesting dinners all the time. I post pics online for my friends to get jealous because most of my guy friends who have wives and girlfriends are paying for takeout. Maybe it's different because you date the Asian ladies and they all know how to cook anyway, but in my experience, the independent ladies I dated, they always expected me to be a man, and they would just be whatever.


So we get to the crust of the issue, white men can't jump and white women can't cook 😅










On a serious note, I guess when I think non-independent I think of that student earlier this year, and back of my mind was always thinking "is she sucking me off because she likes my **** or is it because she thinks I'm going to pay her bills?" maybe I was overthinking but either way not like I stuck around to find out lol


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> So we get to the crust of the issue, white men can't jump and white women can't cook 😅
> 
> View attachment 93741
> 
> ...


A lot of ladies these days are just kinda used to men paying for everything, even a lot of the so-called independent ones. But yeah, You overthink all this stuff.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> Yes we get to know the person they want us to think we are in love with. Everytime we have doubts that's OK, there's reassurance, there's trust, there's all that jazz because that's what you do when a fool in love. Oh the wool over our eyes.
> 
> So yeah, still find the risk factor for an LTR much higher than a casual lay you are tapping while double bagged (as in, wearing protection) haha 😄


Ok but to me the risk from casual sex to my physical and mental health and to my wellbeing is far greater.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> A lot of ladies these days are just kinda used to men paying for everything, even a lot of the so-called independent ones. But yeah, You overthink all this stuff.


I always found it funny the minute I stopped overthinking I hit a home run 
If I do go back to dating it's going to be for one thing and one thing alone though, more itches to scratch. At least I know now which approach to use - think with my PENIS!

Compare that to 5 dates with someone who pulls out a fking blanket out of her handbag instead of cuddles... like WTF?!


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> Taking a risk and losing substantial business and financial holdings that would go to the kids in the future and support me a present would be an idiotic decision.


I married Mr D when I had a house and he didn't. It wasn't an issue for me. 
If you are that worried there are prenups.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> Ok but to me the risk from casual sex to my physical and mental health and to my wellbeing is far greater.


Fair enough I guess, just sharing my perspective why I consider it a bigger risk to me and other men.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

It depends what you mean by "dating" is it to meet a long term partner or just for a good time.

If I split from my wife I would not be looking for a long term relationship but would play the field and would have no real concern about the character of the person the only proviso I would have that she was good to look at and ready to fk.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> So much more to lose if we let fear control us. I would much rather take a risk and lose than live that way.


I have to think about and protect my kids now. The risk is literally not worth it, especially when there is so many crazy sickos in the world. If it were just me I might agree with you, but my kids and I were trashed with their fathers idea of what happiness is so I have to be the person that protects them as much as possible. It may sound jaded but I call it being a good mother.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I think people tend to over-rationalise everything these days. Also, people tend to impose too many filters and requirements. It’s never going to work with an endless list or conditions based on your own inflexible standards. Too much information available these days. It’s not good.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Lots of information is good, lack of compromise and flexibility not so much


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Kput said:


> *If I split from my wife I would not be looking for a long term relationship but would play the field* and would have no real concern about the character of the person the only proviso I would have that she was good to look at and ready to fk.


Yes, you feel that because you have gone all in. I know the feeling before and after. Some of us just didn't win the pot >.<


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

RD sorry but I may be a bit thick but please explain what you mean by "gone all in" thank you


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Kput said:


> RD sorry but I may be a bit thick but please explain what you mean by "gone all in" thank you


Oh its a poker term sorry lol

Means you give it everything you have, risks and all


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Thanks lol


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Kput said:


> It depends what you mean by "dating" is it to meet a long term partner or just for a good time.
> 
> If I split from my wife I would not be looking for a long term relationship but would play the field and would have no real concern about the character of the person the only proviso I would have that she was good to look at and ready to fk.


sounds like you have it all planned out


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

Hi Snowbum, No I am not planning to cheat in fact my relationship with my wife is at a twelve year high and long may it continue.

I will however let you in on a little secret, about fourteen months ago I had a suspicion that my wife was in an affair and by close observation and judicious use of a couple of vars I was able to prove without a shadow of doubt that she wasn't, that is a story in itself.

She is oblivious of any of it.

Bottom line is at that time I was considering what would be the outcome and what my future would be like because D would have been certain


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Kput said:


> Hi Snowbum, No I am not planning to cheat in fact my relationship with my wife is at a twelve year high and long may it continue.
> 
> I will however let you in on a little secret, about fourteen months ago I had a suspicion that my wife was in an affair and by close observation and judicious use of a couple of vars I was able to prove without a shadow of doubt that she wasn't, that is a story in itself.
> 
> ...


I remember it. And most people said you were wrong to think she cheated. I hope you regret the thoughts you had seeing you admit you were completely wrong and fight was over your drinking.


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

Sorry Snowbum but you don't remember it as I have never mentioned it before, maybe your thinking of my adulterous mate Dave.

I will post the full story later


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

I also don't drink all that much except when we go out and get buzzed together


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## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Back to the video, I do wonder what is the appeal of non independent or "traditional" women either than cooking and cleaning.
> 
> All my exs cooked and cleaned and were independent. Well... ex wife wasn't really independent but her family was rich so 🙄
> 
> I couldn't even look at my fbuddy the same as other women, not even my other fbuddies in the past.


I'm a traditional woman and my husband is thrilled with me. He likes that I put him first. That I wake and make him coffee, lay out his clothes and pack him lunch. He likes the way I keep the house warm and cozy and decorated for the different holidays. He likes that I make sure the bills are paid on time and the pantry is stocked, the garden tended and our household runs like a well oiled machine.

We've been married for over 20 years and he still thinks I'm beautiful. We each have our role and are happy in our role. We are blessed.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

There's always going to be expectations for a man and expectations for a woman. Maybe like @Enigma32 mentioned it's because I date Asians or something. There's always going to be the traditional role for a man to bacon bring and for a woman to nurse the children. I just don't see all the perks lost by being an independent woman.

Also, I'm quite cautious of transactional romances having a mum who remarried to become a rich man's trophy wife  
I would have preferred she married the one she loved or none at all because she sure as hell not happier.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

After two marriages, it is exhausting and draining. Both with very different women, both equally stifling. I love my wife, but sometimes I just want to build a little cabin in the woods and grow my own food and live off the grid. Instead of the BS like bills, debt from keeping my wife happy with all the shiny, stupid, superficial objects. Its neverending. And fking social media, women are attracted to drama like flies to ****. I hate drama. 

MGTOW has a certain appeal and freedom. Marriage seems to be made for some men, they just do it well or find the perfect partner or fake it incredibly well. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm not one of those men. Sweet fking solitude!


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> After two marriages, it is exhausting and draining. Both with very different women, both equally stifling. I love my wife, but sometimes I just want to build a little cabin in the woods and grow my own food and live off the grid. Instead of the BS like bills, debt from keeping my wife happy with all the shiny, stupid, superficial objects. Its neverending. And fking social media, women are attracted to drama like flies to ****. I hate drama.
> 
> MGTOW has a certain appeal and freedom. Marriage seems to be made for some men, they just do it well or find the perfect partner or fake it incredibly well. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm not one of those men. Sweet fking solitude!


This is how I feel. One try was enough - it’s just not me.

I’ve been alone in that little cabin, and it was freakin’ awesome. 🤗


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> sometimes I just want to build a little cabin in the woods and grow my own food and live off the grid


Ah the dream....


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.
> 
> However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄
> 
> For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


So I watched the video, and the narrator started off sounding truly pathetic, the epitome of "you snooze, you lose". I wonder if the narrator realizes this video is equally as damning as the women they criticize for them. He talks about women not making an effort while at the same time not wanting to make an effort unless the chick looks like Margot Robbie 

I don't think women will miss these kinds of men. Honestly, it's too dangerous for a woman to not be financially independent. I was a traditional woman and did it all, but still got kicked in my ass for it. Nothing I did was ever enough, so I understand how you feel. But that's in the past now, it's nut up and move on or whine and wallow.

So I say let the MGTOW do their thing. The funny part is, they end up attracting the worst of the women they complain about because more traditionally-minded women smell weakness and are repelled.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Lol I find this amusing because it's possible the person is reading this right now
> 
> You know who you are hahahaha


Who is eeeeeeeeeet???? I wanna know!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

CallingDrLove said:


> *
> View attachment 93681
> 
> 
> This is many of you guys. *


She has great math.😁


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I dunno...you guys must be dating some serious hotties if this one doesn't get a rise out of you.
> 
> View attachment 93680


She's similar to the 6'2" girl I dated but obviously has better math. My ex modeled but not with as much success. LoL! I think she looks great!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> ITS NOT JUST ME!!!!


Yeah but you and personal are weirdos!😋


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> Honestly, it's too dangerous for a woman to not be financially independent. I was a traditional woman and did it all, but still got kicked in my ass for it.


Agreed, she becomes under the mercy of the man. I've seen it here on TAM as well. It's horrible. That's not a future I want for my daughter.



> Nothing I did was ever enough, so I understand how you feel. But that's in the past now, it's nut up and move on or whine and wallow.


It is the past, I'm laughing about it now. But I also know I've had enough with my crazy love adventures over my life, much documented here over the last decade 😅


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I disagree with a lot of stuff on that video, mainly the anti feminist stuff, I prefer an independent woman who has her own goals and dreams in life, who isn't in debt and I can trust is interested in me and not my damn wallet.
> 
> However, other stuff, namely 6:20 onwards... so my ex going on TikTok comparing me with other guys is actually a common thing?  ex also had tons of backup orbiters 🙄
> 
> For years she's made me feel like I'm never good enough, now I'm like... wait a minute 😒


Ok, I finally started watching the video. The first example he was talking about included "nice" guys that didn't bother women at a bar he was a bouncer in and compared them to "assholes" that actually engaged with women. Surprise surprise! Some of the assholes actually got dates while the "nice" guys didn't. Now I'm not a fan of trying to meet and get to know a woman in the bar scene but I have been picked up and picked up partners in bars and at parties, etc. If you are not willing to engage, you won't get anywhere.

Those "nice" guys were sending a signal to be isolated wether they meant to or not.

The "assholes" were at least not isolating themselves socially.

I make fun of myself as the founding member of "assholes anonymous" but I'm a very considerate gentleman in real life with women. I'm also fearless in engaging and talking with women which nets more results than just about anything else.

You have to be open to engaging with women to have a chance to begin with and those "nice" guys need to learn a little fearlessness and open up a bit if they want to get some women.

If a woman is only ever chatted up by assholes, she will probably end up dating one. It's pretty simple.

I also didn't like the implication that only assholes chat women up while nice guys won't.

It paints all confident men in a bad light and is he trying to place the onus on those women for not boldly going over to the isolated guys and investigating???

Having a good time and making the occasional eye contact and smiling even goes a long way. Women are on the lookout for openings as well and those nice guys seemed walled up.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> Who is eeeeeeeeeet???? I wanna know!


Lol I've been hoping they come out and admit it 😅










It's even funnier knowing they aren't hahaha


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Agreed, she becomes under the mercy of the man. I've seen it here on TAM as well. It's horrible. That's not a future I want for my daughter.


As a woman who's lived that life, I am glad you don't want it for your daughter. No-one truly likes change; it feels scary and unbalanced, but our society is in transition. People who don't step up will always get left behind - men and women. 

I wonder what the men who complain about women having nothing else to offer but sex think THEY have to offer. None of them ever say... If it's money, women can make their own, so what then? 



RandomDude said:


> It is the past, I'm laughing about it now. But I also know I've had enough with my crazy love adventures over my life, much documented here over the last decade 😅


So take a break! No one says you have to do anything, or even ever be in another relationship. Just make peace with whatever path you choose and do no harm to those in your path to live your best life.



RandomDude said:


> Lol I've been hoping they come out and admit it 😅
> 
> View attachment 93755
> 
> ...


But I wanna know!!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Ok, I finally started watching the video. The first example he was talking about included "nice" guys that didn't bother women at a bar he was a bouncer in and compared them to "assholes" that actually engaged with women. Surprise surprise! Some of the assholes actually got dates while the "nice" guys didn't. Now I'm not a fan of trying to meet and get to know a woman in the bar scene but I have been picked up and picked up partners in bars and at parties, etc. If you are not willing to engage, you won't get anywhere.
> 
> Those "nice" guys were sending a signal to be isolated wether they meant to or not.
> The "assholes" were at least not isolating themselves socially.
> ...


Lol several times I signal to be isolated and reject them outright and they still hit on me so 🤷‍♂️ 

I'm thinking a bouncer's point of view is also biased towards who they end up having to kick out, the bold ones take more risks after all


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> I have to think about and protect my kids now. The risk is literally not worth it, especially when there is so many crazy sickos in the world. If it were just me I might agree with you, but my kids and I were trashed with their fathers idea of what happiness is so I have to be the person that protects them as much as possible. It may sound jaded but I call it being a good mother.


Well, I love you.

My mom didn't think like you until we were grown. The damage was hard to calculate.

I love, respect and admire parents who consider and protect their children.

You are a wonderful woman.👍👍🥰🥰🥰🥰


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Lol several times I signal to be isolated and reject them outright and they still hit on me so 🤷‍♂️
> 
> I'm thinking a bouncer's point of view is also biased towards who they end up having to kick out, the bold ones take more risks after all


I know about getting approached but maybe most guys don't.

Those nice guys do need to open up a bit since they aren't Conan or you, the Asian Adonis.😉


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> As a woman who's lived that life, I am glad you don't want it for your daughter. No-one truly likes change; it feels scary and unbalanced, but our society is in transition. People who don't step up will always get left behind - men and women.
> 
> I wonder what the men who complain about women having nothing else to offer but sex think THEY have to offer. None of them ever say... If it's money, women can make their own, so what then?


It's not change for me, it's always been how it is, maybe it's just my generation but every woman in my family too can easily enter/re-enter the workforce with their credentials and expertise. Even my mum despite marrying for money has her PhD, her own properties and is capable of surviving if she needs to divorce. For now she is unhappy with love but has settled for security. 

Also even as a student my last ex was always working or looking for work - works hard and succeeds in her endeavours, it didn't matter how much she earned. It was just mentality, and hence I always saw her as an equal because of that mindset. I just... couldn't hold my last fbuddy in the same regard with her debt and unemployment. Is that wrong of me?



> So take a break! No one says you have to do anything, or even ever be in another relationship. Just make peace with whatever path you choose and do no harm to those in your path to live your best life.


I've been doing more than a break, I'm looking to reformat my life lol. I envy @minimalME 😑

Been looking at living off the grid too in a solar powered catamaran houseboat. However I don't see how I can do it with my current responsibilities. One day I will be free.



> But I wanna know!!


Lol you won't get no answers from me, I respect them too much even though I'm taking the piss outta them right now and they know 😅


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Well, I love you.
> 
> My mom didn't think like you until we were grown. The damage was hard to calculate.
> 
> ...


Well thank you so much! That’s just how I see things, that my kids deserve the absolute best of me and my time, and protection from things that really don’t need to be in their lives. It’s really not that big of a sacrifice to not bring a man into their life in my opinion. I just love them too much for there to be any question whether they were my priority. 

I can wait until they are grown. I’m sure there will be someone willing to date me in my 50s. 🙂


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I have my kids, family and friends to keep me grounded. I will never be soulless.


I wanted this image for this post.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> I know about getting approached but maybe most guys don't.
> 
> Those nice guys do need to open up a bit since they aren't Conan or you, the Asian Adonis.😉


Hahaha I'm sure even the most average dude has been hit on at least once. Especially at a pub with beer googles!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Hahaha I'm sure even the most average dude has been hit on at least once. Especially at a pub with beer googles!
> 
> View attachment 93757
> View attachment 93758


Yeah. Now I'm laughing my ass off because there is a little truth here too.😂


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I've been doing more than a break, I'm looking to reformat my life lol. I envy @minimalME 😑


Well, there’s always a price. The cost for me has been quite high, but I’ve made my peace with all of it. 😌

Your plan to live on a catamaran sounds wonderful, and whatever lifestyle you create, I hope it works out well for you!


----------



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

So, my current gf and I have one thing in common. We both have kids. However, she feels the need to talk about hers for many hours a day. I find myself literally holding the phone away from my ear. It makes my brain bleed. No sex is worth this. I’m comfortable alone. I think I’ll keep it that way.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> It's not change for me, it's always been how it is, maybe it's just my generation but every woman in my family too can easily enter/re-enter the workforce with their credentials and expertise. Even my mum despite marrying for money has her PhD, her own properties and is capable of surviving if she needs to divorce. For now she is unhappy with love but has settled for security.
> 
> Also even as a student my last ex was always working or looking for work - works hard and succeeds in her endeavours, it didn't matter how much she earned. It was just mentality, and hence I always saw her as an equal because of that mindset. I just... couldn't hold my last fbuddy in the same regard with her debt and unemployment. Is that wrong of me?
> 
> ...


Yes, but you're good-looking enough to have zero problems getting women you want, so you don't have the butthurt some of these guys tote around.



RandomDude said:


> Lol you won't get no answers from me, I respect them too much even though I'm taking the piss outta them right now and they know 😅


Who does RandomDude respect ??? hmmmm    
Who's been laughing at his stuff besides me??

The Poopy Perpetrator is Enigma32, isn't it? Or... is it ConanHub??


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

minimalME said:


> Well, there’s always a price. The cost for me has been quite high, but I’ve made my peace with all of it. 😌
> 
> Your plan to live on a catamaran sounds wonderful, and whatever lifestyle you create, I hope it works out well for you!







I keep watching these 😣 why does it appeal to me so much?


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Kput said:


> Lots of information is good, lack of compromise and flexibility not so much


I didn't say "lots of information", but "too much"...


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Another video made by men blaming women for not being able to have the love life they want. Pathetic.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> Who does RandomDude respect ??? hmmmm
> Who's been laughing at his stuff besides me??




I actually respect lots of folk in this forum, even if I disagree with some I enjoy the perspectives either way. So good luck figuring it out 😅


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I keep watching these 😣 why does it appeal to me so much?


I thought about being a liveaboard, and I even took and passed my ASA 101 class (for starters), but it was all too exhausting. 😅 

Looked into RVs too. And even living out of a car, but I’m not a camper. 

Learning how to build a log cabin and trap animals would be fun. 🤗


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> And this is why you are Divinely Favored 😑


That along with many other things. 2 yrs ago, was short of breath, went to ER and was sent to Medical City Plano. Had Acute Bi-lateral Pulmonary Embolism. Both lungs were full of blood clots.

Now I have a Cardiologist, Pulmonologist and a Hematologist. All 3 said, "You should be dead! No one lives through the severity of this condition that you had, it's unheard of."

Gave my pulmonologist the disc of my CT and she called all her staff to come look at it, she said, "It was a teaching moment"


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> I keep watching these 😣 why does it appeal to me so much?


Who is the lady standing next to you on the roof of the vessel?

I had two coworkers who lived on their sailboats with their wives. One because he moved to Cali after real estate prices went nuts and a boat was only housing he could afford. The other because he was pretty much a hippy free spirit. Both of them very much enjoyed every aspect of that life.

I read a book by *Bernard Moitessier *solo sail around the world, ending in Tahiti. Maybe you could duplicate that.

Also Gipsy Moth Circles the World. Actually that one was even better. When he got to point of turning north to return to England, he found out listening to shortwave that he had lost the race, so just kept sailing to Tahiti again. I learned what “Pitchpole” meant. 

I bet it would fit you well, especially if you get a parrot and eye patch.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

minimalME said:


> I thought about being a liveaboard, and I even took and passed my ASA 101 class (for starters), but it was all too exhausting. 😅
> 
> Looked into RVs too. And even living out of a car, but I’m not a camper.
> 
> Learning how to build a log cabin and trap animals would be fun. 🤗


Yeah it can be exhausting, also living on a boat would require a lot of technical know-how so you don't sink 😅 cause alot of stuff you would need to fix yourself, but thats the price 😌



Rus47 said:


> Who is the lady standing next to you on the roof of the vessel?
> 
> I had two coworkers who lived on their sailboats with their wives. One because he moved to Cali after real estate prices went nuts and a boat was only housing he could afford. The other because he was pretty much a hippy free spirit. Both of them very much enjoyed every aspect of that life.
> 
> ...


Huh? That's not my boat lol... mine would be bigger one (kidding 😅)

And screw sharing it with someone, I want a boat to get away from it all lol not invite someone, will throw stowaways overboard too 🙄

If there was a submarine I could get that isn't a freaking u-boat I would get that instead lol but then again I'm terrified of the deep sea as much as I love the ocean (surface)


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Divinely Favored said:


> That along with many other things. 2 yrs ago, was short of breath, went to ER and was sent to Medical City Plano. Had Acute Bi-lateral Pulmonary Embolism. Both lungs were full of blood clots.
> 
> Now I have a Cardiologist, Pulmonologist and a Hematologist. All 3 said, "You should be dead! No one lives through the severity of this condition that you had, it's unheard of."
> 
> Gave my pulmonologist the disc of my CT and she called all her staff to come look at it, she said, "It was a teaching moment"


I've been blessed to experience several trainwrecks in my lifetime 😊

Guess have to be positive about it somehow 😆


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

CallingDrLove said:


> *
> View attachment 93681
> 
> 
> This is many of you guys. *


The guy who is saying it 👇👇👇








😁😜


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

One day when I have my freedom 😊






Enough room for a floofy to room around too, and he or she will have lots and lots of fish 🐟 😊


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> As a woman who's lived that life, I am glad you don't want it for your daughter. No-one truly likes change; it feels scary and unbalanced, but our society is in transition. People who don't step up will always get left behind - men and women.
> 
> I wonder what the men who complain about women having nothing else to offer but sex think THEY have to offer. None of them ever say... If it's money, women can make their own, so what then?


Thry dont have interior beauty as they dont know what it is and they definitely dont have the exterior atributes either (pretty face or strong body or MONEY or whatever).


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Excluding the women of TAM, who are thoughtful enough and introspective enough to post here and exchange ideas, there does seem to be some sort of problem growing with western women.

Men from all over the world aren't getting passports to come court women here. The same can't be said about women in other countries.

Simply putting all this on men absolutely does not add up.

I finally watched the whole video and I believe SOME (not all) points have validity. Apparently a lot of men are speaking about what they are experiencing and dismissing their concerns as a matter of practice seems to be in lockstep with the current "feminist" movement which is in reality a misandrist movement.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> The guy who is saying it 👇👇👇
> View attachment 93774
> 
> 😁😜




Lol well would not bang guy is luckier than me in love! Hahaha


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Excluding the women of TAM, who are thoughtful enough and introspective enough to post here and exchange ideas, there does seem to be some sort of problem growing with western women.
> 
> Men from all over the world aren't getting passports to come court women here. The same can't be said about women in other countries.
> 
> ...


Solution, date Asians lol

And folks told me earlier this year to "widen my preferences" 😅


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> One day when I have my freedom 😊
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Why not a beach house?

A boat seems such a pain to clean, to mantain, to be cramped, to manage to come and go, to buy groceries, to cook. What a nightmare.

My parents had a beach house when i was a kid and i always spent vacations there. IT WAS AWESOME. 

**Mom still jas this house, but in the last 15 years Brazil became increasingly dangerous by commie politics prioritizing criminals and yo-man righs (it was VERY SAFE😣), so sje never go there, only paint and fix it once in awhile 😪


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Lol well would not bang guy is luckier than me in love! Hahaha
> 
> View attachment 93776


Pikachu face


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I figure there's a good chance to find a man who cooks nowadays, whereas old days, I only knew one, but then whether they clean the kitchen after themselves is likely going to become an issue.


My wife and I have team effort for meal prep. We both cook/clean at same time. If she cooks, I put up and do dishes/counters.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Excluding the women of TAM, who are thoughtful enough and introspective enough to post here and exchange ideas, there does seem to be some sort of problem growing with western women.
> 
> Men from all over the world aren't getting passports to come court women here. The same can't be said about women in other countries.
> 
> ...


Staying away from Western women is the best advice to give younger men. They are a hot mess!


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Excluding the women of TAM, who are thoughtful enough and introspective enough to post here and exchange ideas, there does seem to be some sort of problem growing with western women.
> 
> Men from all over the world aren't getting passports to come court women here. The same can't be said about women in other countries.
> 
> ...


It’s okay - I can joke about it. I wouldn’t marry me. 😅


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> Staying away from Western women is the best advice to give younger men. They are a hot mess!


...yeah, but we are hot so there's that.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

I am the cook in our relationship and (gasp) can bake really well. I also clear up as I go and following the meal.

No ready meals and packet crap allowed although I chest by using ready roll pastry 😀


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> Why not a beach house?
> 
> A boat seems such a pain to clean, to mantain, to be cramped, to manage to come and go, to buy groceries, to cook. What a nightmare.
> 
> ...


My ancestors lived in tents surrounded by oceans of grass.








Yet I was born surrounded by water, and it calls to me the same way.

Also I want to be off the grid with limited human contact.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Brigit24 said:


> ...yeah, but we are hot so there's that.


Sure, but we are hotter 😋 😆


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Also I want to be off the grid with limited human contact.


This I understand.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Staying away from Western women is the best advice to give younger men. They are a hot mess!


Well it isn't an option for most here and I do hold men accountable as well. I have been working with younger men this last year which has been refreshing to see young bucks getting into trades and they have been hitting me up for advice.

Men behaving like men lends to more women stepping up and being more feminine to get them.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

So I'm confused. Men want women who want them for more than money but they are going to search for foreign women who basically treat you like a king because of money?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Men behaving like men lends to more women stepping up and being more feminine to get them.


This is the most important thing to teach them, behave like men! Soy drinking, manbun wearing boys are weak.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> So I'm confused. Men want women who want them for more than money but they are going to search for foreign women who basically treat you like a king because of money?


That's really false stereotype about women outside of the US. In fact, that is most Western women


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> My wife and I have team effort for meal prep. We both cook/clean at same time. If she cooks, I put up and do dishes/counters.


What a dream 😆


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> That's really false stereotype about women outside of the US. In fact, that is most Western women


What's your take on foreign women? The men I've listened to, talk about them being more feminine?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Anastasia6 said:


> So I'm confused. Men want women who want them for more than money but they are going to search for foreign women who basically treat you like a king because of money?


Not foreign to me 😅 😋

And hey I prefer the independent Asians too lol 😊

Maybe we embraced the equal opportunity of today's modern world without losing our traditional values such as what is expected from a man and from a woman?

I'm also traditional in a lot of ways, it is my responsibility as a man to provide and protect that is hard-wired and I never go dutch, I always pay on dates, have codes of chivalry etc.

Sure seems like that based on the discussion so far, like this even became a book lol:


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> Dude, Tom Brady is divorced now. His wife was banging her Jiu Jitsu instructor and left him. The GOAT can't even keep a girl. Talk about disheartening for men.


There is a high likelihood that he his a crappy husband. Rich and good looking don't always make a good husband.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> What's your take on foreign women? The men I've listened to, talk about them being more feminine?


On the whole they are definitely more feminine. Like with any group, they come in many flavors. Some are very independent and some are more traditional. But however they carry themselves the truth is they tend to treat their men much better then Western women.


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> What's your take on foreign women? The men I've listened to, talk about them being more feminine?


Foreign women, if you find a good one and not that finds your green card attractive, make for very serious wives. They know being a help to the husband will help him become a better provider than the both of them working. 

It is one of the reasons that Asian families have the highest incomes and net worths in America.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I figure there's a good chance to find a man who cooks nowadays, whereas old days, I only knew one, but then whether they clean the kitchen after themselves is likely going to become an issue.


We've always had a system. If just one of us cooks, the other does all the cleanup. That was typical when we had kids at home. If we both cook, which has become the case with no kids in the house, then I unload the dishwasher and she loads.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I figure there's a good chance to find a man who cooks nowadays, whereas old days, I only knew one, but then whether they clean the kitchen after themselves is likely going to become an issue.


I cook and clean by myself. Am I an exception to the rule?


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> My ancestors lived in tents surrounded by oceans of grass.
> View attachment 93778
> 
> Yet I was born surrounded by water, and it calls to me the same way.
> ...


Yoy can be way more offgrid inland. In a boat you are way too dependable of consumer goods and services (machinery mantainance, gas, cant plant, cant have animails, cant mantain much food, too vulnerable to bad weather, horrible logistics, BORING). In a small land theres so much to learn and do.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> This is the most important thing to teach them, behave like men! Soy drinking, manbun wearing boys are weak.


Nothing wrong with a manbun.🙂


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> My wife and I have team effort for meal prep. We both cook/clean at same time. If she cooks, I put up and do dishes/counters.


Sounds like a good plan. Everyone is different how they like to do things. I just took by myself of course because I live by myself and I learned to clean up as I'm cooking because I usually don't want to clean up after I've had a big meal. Because I'm already tired and now I'm full.

I had a friend who was a really good cook who cooked all the time unlike me and cooked for her and just her husband at the time. She would not do any cleaning up while she was cooking. She just left the kitchen in a hurricane and that's how she liked to do it. I can't remember if she had any help cleaning it up or not but I doubt it. I couldn't even get through cooking a meal without doing some cleaning up because sometimes you use the same thing more than once. And I don't like to cook with for example sticky spoons and spatulas. 

Of course I tend to make quite a few long cooking meals when I'm cooking big so that leaves some time to tidy up.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> We live in the information age where images can appear in the palm of your hand yet... _sigh_
> 
> Anyway 😅
> 
> View attachment 93674


I don't find her attractive. Tom will be okay, lol.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> We've always had a system. If just one of us cooks, the other does all the cleanup. That was typical when we had kids at home. If we both cook, which has become the case with no kids in the house, then I unload the dishwasher and she loads.


Thank you for not just going to the recliner and popping a beer open, on behalf of all womenkind.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> Yoy can be way more offgrid inland. In a boat you are way too dependable of consumer goods and services (machinery mantainance, gas, cant plant, cant have animails, cant mantain much food, too vulnerable to bad weather, horrible logistics, BORING). In a small land theres so much to learn and do.


That's why I would have to learn a lot of technical stuff, I did have a sailboat before not a houseboat so I have some experience there but if I'm alone in the middle of the ocean will have to know what to do. 

Yes we can have animals and I would never be bored, I'm an extreme introvert I know how to keep myself entertained in complete isolation. Internet via satellite connection too, same way my people back in the motherland still living as nomads get online. Not always reliable but that's OK.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Anastasia6 said:


> So I'm confused. Men want women who want them for more than money but they are going to search for foreign women who basically treat you like a king because of money?


I think it is more about them being traditional, not being argumentative with the husband all the time.


----------



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> That's why I would have to learn a lot of technical stuff, I did have a sailboat before not a houseboat so I have some experience there but if I'm alone in the middle of the ocean will have to know what to do.
> 
> Yes we can have animals and I would never be bored, I'm an extreme introvert I know how to keep myself entertained in complete isolation. Internet via satellite connection too, same way my people back in the motherland still living as nomads get online. Not always reliable but that's OK.


Brazilians offgrid live like this 👇





__





Loading…






youtube.com





Its no bad, not bad at all. Its a simple life, but very good. He has chicken, ducks, thats what i meant by have animails, not a pet, he plants corn, let it dry so he can or give to his animals in winter or make fresh couscous at winter. So many techniques we forgot when we joined urban life.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Kput said:


> Nothing wrong with a manbun.🙂


I see a guy in a manbun and the first thing I think is that his boyfriend is about to get some mean oral


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Enigma32 said:


> Oh, no doubt. Still, it is disheartening for regular men-folk looking for a serious commitment when even Tom fricking Brady can't keep a woman around. Having a bunch of soulless bikini girls around isn't the same as a long term relationship.


I mean even the GOAT has his issues. Giselle was wanting him to retire since he was 40. He wanted to keep playing. Him playing means 7 months of the year that he is 100% focused on football. She was unhappy with this he knew it. He had nothing to prove, his legacy was certainly set before winning the last SB and he still wouldn't retire. He chose football over his wife, she chose to not be second. It is what it is.

This TB situation is a great example to show what you have to bring to the table doesn't matter anywhere near as much as what you actually put down on the table for your partner.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

moon7 said:


> What a dream 😆


There is just too many lazy ass video game playing man children in this world now. 

Wife tries to tell me to go sit down and stay out of her lane, she has this! I tell her I am perfectly capable of loading/unloading the dishwasher.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Thank you for not just going to the recliner and popping a beer open, on behalf of all womenkind.


Beer make one into a lazy girly man. Beer is not good for men's T levels.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> I see a guy in a manbun and the first thing I think is that his boyfriend is about to get some mean oral


Common as anything in London and there is no correlation with being gay.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Kput said:


> Common as anything in London and there is no correlation with being gay.


You might want to reread what you just wrote. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> I mean even the GOAT has his issues. Giselle was wanting him to retire since he was 40. He wanted to keep playing. Him playing means 7 months of the year that he is 100% focused on football. She was unhappy with this he knew it. He had nothing to prove, his legacy was certainly set before winning the last SB and he still wouldn't retire. He chose football over his wife, she chose to not be second. It is what it is.
> 
> This TB situation is a great example to show what you have to bring to the table doesn't matter anywhere near as much as what you actually put down on the table for your partner.


He now has to keep working, because of his losses on FTX.


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

😳ok I will try again😀 having a man in does not signify being gay👍

I dread to think of your opinion of tattoos, beards and skinny jeans 😄


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> You might want to reread what you just wrote. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Too funny 😎


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

😳man bun not man it bloody auto correct 😂


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

Is my phone trying to tell me something 😱


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Kput said:


> 😳ok I will try again😀 having a man in does not signify being gay👍
> 
> I dread to think of your opinion of tattoos, beards and skinny jeans 😄


Tattoos and beards are OK. I have both.

Skinny jeans? Not so much. Usually they go hand and hand with manbuns and soy lattes.


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

Man bun with tattoos, beards & skinny jeans definitely means walking with a swoosh


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

Never had a soy latte or even a skinny latte for that matter


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

All 4 elements at once to be clear


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

CrapMan said:


> Man bun with tattoos, beards & skinny jeans definitely means walking with a swoosh


Depends what a swoosh is, not a wiggle I hope.

Still my wife liked my appearance and she has a similar style.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> Brazilians offgrid live like this 👇
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah prefer to fish than farm 😅 

That is my diet anyway, I like my seafood 😌


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Kput said:


> 😳man bun not man it bloody auto correct 😂


Man bun is the quickest way to repel women and men alike.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

CrapMan said:


> Man bun with tattoos, beards & skinny jeans definitely means walking with a swoosh


Makes men look like poodles. Not sexy.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Divinely Favored said:


> I think it is more about them being traditional, not being argumentative with the husband all the time.


Yes and traditional means the man works and provides. But many of those here complain about the woman not contributing 1/2 or being reliant.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Man bun is the quickest way to repel women and men alike.


And yet I have an attractive, slim and stylish wife who is far from repeled and very much approves.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Sadly, that video is spot on the mark.
The problem is as for rules regarding the rights of wives/girlfriends in the West has gone way over the top, to almost Fascist proportions in favour of the women:
Here are some facts regarding the feminist rights of Western women:
The woman controls whether her man or men have sex or not. She controls whether she gets pregnant or not. She determines whether to have an abortion or not (even if the man or husband wants the child). She has the option to divorce her husband at any point during the marriage just on the grounds that she no longer wishes to remain with her partner, even if she cheats, a marriage certificate is not worth the paper it`s printed on and the marriage vows mean nothing. If there are children involved, in 99.99% of cases, she gets the family home and the kids, even if there is a new lover on the scene, plus child support and alimony. The woman gets paid even if she is the partner that dissolved the marriage and still gets paid even if the male partner and her don't legally marry.
I know of some men that have been completely destroyed by these draconian Laws whereas their spouses have literally picked their bones clean with the support of a divorce system that could be described as the legal lynching of husbands and fathers, in a society that considers all women as victims, regardless.
Do you know that if a guy meets a woman at a bar or goes out on a date and both are drunk, if they have sex, under the law the man is automatically considered a rapist and if the woman cries rape in the morning the guy could be facing many years in prison. There are probably thousands of men worldwide serving time having falsely been accused of rape.
I believe women are cheating more than men today especially now with the internet, social media, dating sites and apps and cell phones, it`s never been easier.
Men are finally beginning to realise that being in relationships with women has become no longer viable and it`s like playing a game of Russian roulette for the men, a gamble and why more and more men today are shying away from dating and marriage.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Sex, pregnancy and abortion, her body, her rules. Do you think a man has a right to forbid an abortion.

Regarding divorce and financial ruin then mostly spot on.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I actually respect lots of folk in this forum, even if I disagree with some I enjoy the perspectives either way. So good luck figuring it out 😅


It's probably you then 😂


ConanHub said:


> Excluding the women of TAM, who are thoughtful enough and introspective enough to post here and exchange ideas, there does seem to be some sort of problem growing with western women.
> 
> Men from all over the world aren't getting passports to come court women here. The same can't be said about women in other countries.
> 
> ...


Oh, many of those men think we'll be grateful to be courted and accept anything from them. I'm originally from a third world country, and have had my share of fending off tourists who thought any third world woman was fair game since I was a teenager. Most of them were 40+, unattractive and affronted I dared reject them. 

I remember being approached by this guy who must have been in his 60s, (I was in my mid 20s but looked younger), at a club in Nassau, Bahamas. My friends and I'd gone to celebrate a successful project, we were having drinks at the bar when this unattractive, larger old dude danced up to me and couldn't understand why I wasn't thrilled to run off with him.

Anyway, they're welcome to go and try. The decent ones will keep their women, the shifty ones will be left when they screw up.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> It's probably you then 😂
> 
> Oh, many of those men think we'll be grateful to be courted and accept anything from them. I'm originally from a third world country, and have had my share of fending off tourists who thought any third world woman was fair game since I was a teenager. Most of them were 40+, unattractive and affronted I dared reject them.
> 
> ...


I know about the ***** you are talking about but they aren't included in my observation that good numbers of men are attempting courtship of foreign women and the same can't be said about foreign men making that effort for our women.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Anastasia6 said:


> Yes and traditional means the man works and provides. But many of those here complain about the woman not contributing 1/2 or being reliant.


I never understood people who have separate accts and put in half for bills. My wife makes about a 1/3rd what I do, but it is all "our money" and goes in the same pot. I cover house pmt and all the bills, what she brings in is gravy money, for extras or appliance necessities.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> It's probably you then 😂


I would admit it if I did, but I don't have TikTok so 😋



> Oh, many of those men think we'll be grateful to be courted and accept anything from them. I'm originally from a third world country, and have had my share of fending off tourists who thought any third world woman was fair game since I was a teenager. Most of them were 40+, unattractive and affronted I dared reject them.
> 
> I remember being approached by this guy who must have been in his 60s, (I was in my mid 20s but looked younger), at a club in Nassau, Bahamas. My friends and I'd gone to celebrate a successful project, we were having drinks at the bar when this unattractive, larger old dude danced up to me and couldn't understand why I wasn't thrilled to run off with him.
> 
> Anyway, they're welcome to go and try. The decent ones will keep their women, the shifty ones will be left when they screw up.


I'm sure there are genuine relationships that came out of these couplings as with anything else. I have been tempted to just go import from my motherland as well and that would be better for our race actually as we are breeding ourselves out into extinction. Too late though, as now we are at war. 😅


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Anastasia6 said:


> Yes and traditional means the man works and provides. But many of those here complain about the woman not contributing 1/2 or being reliant.


Hey the only one complaining about a woman (who wasn't independent) being reliant was me as I go for the independent ones lol

The men looking for more traditional partners are less judgy about it.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> And screw sharing it with someone,


I assumed she was just visiting after your looong lonely voyage,


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I know about the retards you are talking about but they aren't included in my observation that good numbers of men are attempting courtship of foreign women and the same can't be said about foreign men making that effort for our women.


Why would they though? It's not easy to get a visa, many don't meet the criteria or have the money for international travel. They look at Western women and would be with them if they could, if they also found them attractive.

But they're more realistic about what they have to offer a woman and select accordingly. Mind you, I have family members who married Western women (American and European) , some of whom are still married. However, they were attractive within Western standards and moved to the first world and were successful enough to have their pick of women.


----------



## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

moon7 said:


> View attachment 93657


I know one man that deosn't fit this idea!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Rus47 said:


> I assumed she was just visiting after your looong lonely voyage,


Yeah... overboard 🤣 (kidding of course... I wouldn't do that... I'll put a life jacket on her first then throw her overboard 😊)

I ain't investing so much into solitude to have it ruined lol


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

BigDaddyNY said:


> We've always had a system. If just one of us cooks, the other does all the cleanup. That was typical when we had kids at home. If we both cook, which has become the case with no kids in the house, then I unload the dishwasher and she loads.


When I cook - i.e. always - I don't want anybody in the kitchen... it's very annoying...


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Solution, date Asians lol


Yes! Can attest this works!


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> I wasn't proud of how I reacted to it either. I got mean too. It's why I left, not only was it no fun being around her anymore, I didn't even like myself when I was around her. She sounded exactly like your ex. Every social media pic was like throwing chum in the water to her "fans". While I do think I really loved her. I didn't walk away feeling disenfranchised. I guess because I feel like the relationship really shouldn't count.
> 
> I don't think she loved me. She had a "role" in mind for boyfriend and gave the part to me. Ironically when I look back at that time in my life. To most outsiders it appeared that she was my trophy girlfriend, but in reality I was just an accessory to her, her Ken doll of the moment. I think people would be surprised about the internal dynamics of some relationships. I was just happy to be free of it. I can't say I was put off by dating because of her, I just thought I picked the wrong one and put her back.


Some people just like to keep the emotional upper hand, and a good way to do that is to talk about others. Whether the comparison is direct or implied depends a lot on the personality of who's doing it.

My ex hb talked about exes in wildly inappropriate ways. Like we'd be taking a bath and he'd start talking about exes he took baths with....or right after sex he'd ruin the moment by talking about all the women he'd slept with. It got so bad that I just didn't even bring up a lot of topics because I knew ex gf stories would follow....until I blew up and tire him 2 new ones. Like you it made me mean in ways o didn't want to be.

He, being the nasty terrified of conflict passive aggressive douchebag he was, proceeded to play dumb and claim he didn't know why he brought it up. But the truth was that he wanted to stick it to me and make himself feel better and he uses exes as an emotional weapon.

A woman who would openly compare you to another guy instead of just dumping you if she's unhappy is someone who's using that tactic as an emotional weapon to keep the upper hand in the relationship. People like this want a power imbalance.


----------



## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> My ex hb talked about exes in wildly inappropriate ways.


That is just stoopid. 

Was he missing chromosomes or something?


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

gameopoly5 said:


> Sadly, that video is spot on the mark.
> The problem is as for rules regarding the rights of wives/girlfriends in the West has gone way over the top, to almost Fascist proportions in favour of the women:
> Here are some facts regarding the feminist rights of Western women:
> The woman controls whether her man or men have sex or not. She controls whether she gets pregnant or not. She determines whether to have an abortion or not (even if the man or husband wants the child). She has the option to divorce her husband at any point during the marriage just on the grounds that she no longer wishes to remain with her partner, even if she cheats, a marriage certificate is not worth the paper it`s printed on and the marriage vows mean nothing. If there are children involved, in 99.99% of cases, she gets the family home and the kids, even if there is a new lover on the scene, plus child support and alimony. The woman gets paid even if she is the partner that dissolved the marriage and still gets paid even if the male partner and her don't legally marry.
> ...


I mean all of the rights you mention women have, men have also. And it's not 99.99% of women get the kids and the house, Most typical is shared custody, yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should). There is no data that I have seen that shows women cheat more, I doubt the claim, I do see it as possible that women are more likely to leave a marriage for "better" man than men who will leave for their AP. 

The most cringe worthy part of the video was the complaining that men are now expected to have to work to keep a woman once they got them. If men have that attitude, it's no wonder so many men are being left. In a good relationship both parties should be working to keep their partner, so yah that includes men. 

Some men get married and become lazy, complacent and take their wives for granted, some of their wives will eventually leave. It works in reverse when women get lazy, let themselves go and become starfish in bed, sometimes their husbands leave. 

A good happy loving marriage takes work and effort on both parts, it has been this way for a long time. What has changed in the past few decades is women have the ability to leave now and some men like to blame society. 

What divorce rates show is that there are a lot of people who are bad at long term relationships.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

BoSlander said:


> That is just stoopid.
> 
> Was he missing chromosomes or something?


You can read my story if you're interested, but let's just say that he was damaged from having an alcoholic mother. He was so terrified of conflict that he wasn't able to address the things that bothered him and would bottle up his anger.

The way one that terrified of conflict lets said anger out is to become passive aggressive and play dumb. He was also having trouble with getting older and while he liked having a much younger in shape wife (19 years) he was also very jealous of me. So he used the ex thing to stick it to me and then play dumb

Its hard to fathom if you haven’t dealt with someone like this.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Most typical is shared custody, yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should).


Why should they again? Glad you weren't my lawyer.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

BoSlander said:


> That is just stoopid.
> 
> Was he missing chromosomes or something?


I have an ex boyfriend that did the same thing. He also had a ton of imaginary women waiting to beat down his door if I left. Always wanted me to remember that. Never saw a single sign of any of these women who were supposedly salivating for a chance with him. These dudes (won't call them men) definitely have something missing, misfiring or crossed.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Why would they though? It's not easy to get a visa, many don't meet the criteria or have the money for international travel. They look at Western women and would be with them if they could, if they also found them attractive.
> 
> But they're more realistic about what they have to offer a woman and select accordingly. Mind you, I have family members who married Western women (American and European) , some of whom are still married. However, they were attractive within Western standards and moved to the first world and were successful enough to have their pick of women.


Anecdotally, I have never had any problems finding women willing to be agreeable and feminine for me in the U.S. 
I'm not the general population though and I'm listening and observing.

I don't think the only answer is for men to get a passport but that trend is telling.

I'm more for mentoring boys and young men into shaping themselves into more masculine and effective men.

I honestly see a tipping point happening with western women. The pendulum is ready to swing for them with more women becoming more traditionally feminine and desiring more masculine men.

I've also observed some very."modernized" women drop all pretenses and feminine right the hell up when a more traditionally masculine man enters her realm of possibility.

I've observed men and women rise to the true call from the opposite sex with men becoming more masculine in response to true femininity and women absolutely respond to real men.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Anecdotally, I have never had any problems finding women willing to be agreeable and feminine for me in the U.S.
> I'm not the general population though and I'm listening and observing.
> 
> I don't think the only answer is for men to get a passport but that trend is telling.
> ...


You can see this trend with my experience in dating!


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> Tattoos and beards are OK. I have both.
> 
> Skinny jeans? Not so much. Usually they go hand and hand with manbuns and soy lattes.


When I see a guy in a man bun I think "Wow my mom use to wear her hair like that."


----------



## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

Brigit24 said:


> When I see a guy in a man bun I think "Wow my mom use to wear her hair like that."


My XW used to get triggered big time by tattoos and beards.

Like she wouldn't stop staring, locking eyes and smiling like a 16 year old.

She would go so much into a daze when triggered that even me asking her to snap out of it wouldn't do it.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

This current conversation reminds of what this relationship coach teaches. He talks a lot about masculine and feminine energy.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Anecdotally, I have never had any problems finding women willing to be agreeable and feminine for me in the U.S.
> I'm not the general population though and I'm listening and observing.
> 
> I don't think the only answer is for men to get a passport but that trend is telling.
> ...


I agree there are some nutty women, but I don't come across them. I'd love to know what exactly is considered non-feminine and unattractive in a woman. Especially since the same men who usually complain about women not fulfilling expected gender norms don't want to fulfill traditional male roles. 

What I see are the men who want a woman to treat them like a King when they're barely walking upright. I was a gamer, and hung around a lot of incel-type men, so I know what they looked like, their habits and what kind of women they looked at and complained they couldn't get. It was quite comical, really. Some of them held onto their unrealistic expectations and stayed single. I heard all the lockerroom talk, as most had no idea I was female. 

I also agree male mentorship is critical, especially with so many single-mother homes with deadbeat dads. How is a woman supposed to take a man seriously when he says one thing and does another? For example, saying he wants a traditional woman, but not wanting to be a traditional man. It's like the cheater mentality, wanting to cake eat the best of both worlds, all the while committing to none.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> You can see this trend with my experience in dating!


But you don't date to get relationships though, you just sleep around. How can you truly expect to find better?


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Not said:


> This current conversation reminds of what this relationship coach teaches. He talks a lot about masculine and feminine energy.


This is quite interesting. I am definitely more masculine/feminine depending on who I'm around. Some men seem weaker than me, and I catch myself being quite contemptuous of their weakness. I don't treat them badly, just avoid them.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> Why should they again? Glad you weren't my lawyer.


Child support? I think a man should pay to support their children. For me it would be about keeping things fairly consistent in terms of living conditions when going between the parents. I can see men despising the thought of handing money over to an ex but it is what it is. More fairness and care in setting dollar amounts is needed in most places but it is setup for specific reasons. 

The guys that really confuse me are the guys complain about women having careers and not needing men to provide then complain when they get a woman who will stay at home who divorces them and need support because they didn't have a career.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> But you don't date to get relationships though, you just sleep around. How can you truly expect to find better?


Ouch. LOL

I was more meaning that the way I am now, the way I present myself, etc. I noticed a difference in the type of women that I attract.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Child support? I think a man should pay to support their children. For me it would be about keeping things fairly consistent in terms of living conditions when going between the parents. I can see men despising the thought of handing money over to an ex but it is what it is. More fairness and care in setting dollar amounts is needed in most places but it is setup for specific reasons.
> 
> The guys that really confuse me are the guys complain about women having careers and not needing men to provide then complain when they get a woman who will stay at home who divorces them and need support because they didn't have a career.


But for joint custody there should be no support going either way. Plain and simple. 

Change one word:

I think women should pay to support their children.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Not said:


> I have an ex boyfriend that did the same thing. He also had a ton of imaginary women waiting to beat down his door if I left. Always wanted me to remember that. Never saw a single sign of any of these women who were supposedly salivating for a chance with him. These dudes (won't call them men) definitely have something missing, misfiring or crossed.


Gosh, I didn't expect this thread to be triggering. Yes, exactly this. The never ending threat of all these men that were supposedly interested in her. Except for the fact that she would totally never date one of her many orbiters. So when things did end I quietly moved on. Not her, lots of trying too hard post on social media. Although she was blocked, my phone still archived her texts. Nothing but talk of all the "amazing" guys she was meeting. Even sent pics of a few. It was honestly very sad. I really don't think she thought I would leave.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Ouch. LOL
> 
> I was more meaning that the way I am now, the way I present myself, etc. I noticed a difference in the type of women that I attract.


Sorry!

I didn't mean to hurt, just get down to the facts. I'm not saying you're unattractive to women, but you are to traditional-minded women looking for a relationship since you have nothing to offer that we would value.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Kput said:


> And yet I have an attractive, slim and stylish wife who is far from repeled and very much approves.


Better hang on to her.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> I agree there are some nutty women, but I don't come across them. I'd love to know what exactly is considered non-feminine and unattractive in a woman. Especially since the same men who usually complain about women not fulfilling expected gender norms don't want to fulfill traditional male roles.
> 
> What I see are the men who want a woman to treat them like a King when they're barely walking upright. I was a gamer, and hung around a lot of incel-type men, so I know what they looked like, their habits and what kind of women they looked at and complained they couldn't get. It was quite comical, really. Some of them held onto their unrealistic expectations and stayed single. I heard all the lockerroom talk, as most had no idea I was female.
> 
> I also agree male mentorship is critical, especially with so many single-mother homes with deadbeat dads. How is a woman supposed to take a man seriously when he says one thing and does another? For example, saying he wants a traditional woman, but not wanting to be a traditional man. It's like the cheater mentality, wanting to cake eat the best of both worlds, all the while committing to none.


I definitely see lack of solid masculinity as a problem with the west and I'm not discounting it as a major contributing factor to what is going on but western women have an astounding lack of accountability and the system is geared far too much in favor of being abused by them. 

I absolutely agree about too many males, not men, complaining about wanting a certain kind of woman when the kind of woman they want requires a masculine man which they are not.

I am actually going to put the bulk of this situation on the shoulders of men though they do need mentorship which is under attack by the misandrist movement.

I do believe that if the number of masculine men increases and they make their requirements a hard line, more women will stop yelling about whatever and shape up to get them.

Our government is the biggest villain when it comes to discouraging traditional men and women though.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

TXTrini said:


> This is quite interesting. I am definitely more masculine/feminine depending on who I'm around. Some men seem weaker than me, and I catch myself being quite contemptuous of their weakness. I don't treat them badly, just avoid them.


Me too, for sure. If I feel my balls are bigger he doesn't stand a chance of changing my mind. Once I go there, that's it.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

ReformedHubby said:


> Gosh, I didn't expect this thread to be triggering. Yes, exactly this. The never ending threat of all these men that were supposedly interested in her. Except for the fact that she would totally never date one of her many orbiters. So when things did end I quietly moved on. Not her, lots of trying too hard post on social media. Although she was blocked, my phone still archived her texts. Nothing but talk of all the "amazing" guys she was meeting. Even sent pics of a few. It was honestly very sad. I really don't think she thought I would leave.



The difference between our two experiences was that with mine, it was all in his head. Empty threats to try to control and intimidate. I think he thought I was the better looking of us two and that intimidated him. No pics, no conversations with women, just false claims these women were waiting in the wings. 

Yours sounds just evil and cruel. Mine was too but not like yours.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Another one that goes deeper into masculine and feminine energy and what those are.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Not said:


> The difference between our two experiences was that with mine, it was all in his head. Empty threats to try to control and intimidate. I think he thought I was the better looking of us two and that intimidated him. No pics, no conversations with women, just false claims these women were waiting in the wings.
> 
> Yours sounds just evil and cruel. Mine was too but not like yours.


It's retarded to behave that way regardless of if they have other options or not.

That only works with already damaged people and keeps them damaged instead of growing them into someone healthy.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Not said:


> Another one that goes deeper into masculine and feminine energy and what those are.


The only beef I have with his feminine energy descriptor is the always-sunny disposition 😂. It sounds like wanting an empty-headed grinning idiot, completely unrealistic.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> It's retarded to behave that way regardless of if they have other options or not.
> 
> That only works with already damaged people and keeps them damaged instead of growing them into someone healthy.



That is exactly what I think too. He goes for women who he thinks are damaged. I had just come out of a mess involving a lawsuit and his previous girlfriend had just come out of messy divorce. He saw us as weak. We were not. 

His previous ex gf messaged me a week ago to let me know who he's now seeing. This new woman just came out of a divorce where her husband cheated and left her for a 25 year old. She's late 40's. Last time I saw her she was a mess. I want to warn her but I have to stay away, for me.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> I mean all of the rights you mention women have, men have also. And it's not 99.99% of women get the kids and the house, *Most typical is shared custody, yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should).* There is no data that I have seen that shows women cheat more, I doubt the claim, I do see it as possible that women are more likely to leave a marriage for "better" man than men who will leave for their AP.
> 
> The most cringe worthy part of the video was the complaining that men are now expected to have to work to keep a woman once they got them. If men have that attitude, it's no wonder so many men are being left. In a good relationship both parties should be working to keep their partner, so yah that includes men.
> 
> ...


Sorry, but it`s not most typical that fathers get shared custody, check that out for yourself.
Then you say, *yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should).*
You are making a contradiction. First you say, most typical is shared custody and then you say, the women should receive spousal and child support. 
So you have substantiated what I said, the men will pay regardless and why men today shying away from relationships and marriage.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

TXTrini said:


> The only beef I have with his feminine energy descriptor is the always-sunny disposition 😂. It sounds like wanting an empty-headed grinning idiot, completely unrealistic.



I'm more interested in what he has to say about masculine energy. I'm going to be me regardless of what I'm doing. I do wonder what the men here think of his description of feminine energy.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Not said:


> I'm more interested in what he has to say about masculine energy. I'm going to be me regardless of what I'm doing. I do wonder what the men here think of his description of feminine energy.


Insert peaceful and agreeable instead of sunny and you have me. I am a pretty traditional man and I absolutely kick the world's ass for my wife and that includes dealing with a lot of unpleasant things and conflict on an almost daily basis. She does take some of that load but I shoulder the lion's share.

I need my wife to be a place for me to be peaceful, rested and rejuvenated.

Feminine energy to this barbarian is being my helper, nurturer and sustainer. She is my one trusted place to take off the armor and rest my scarred body and battered soul.

She compliments me with her body and nature.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Insert peaceful and agreeable instead of sunny and you have me. I am a pretty traditional man and I absolutely kick the world's ass for my wife and that includes dealing with a lot of unpleasant things and conflict on an almost daily basis. She does take some of that load but I shoulder the lion's share.
> 
> I need my wife to be a place for me to be peaceful, rested and rejuvenated.
> 
> ...



A woman should be her man's zen.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The thing about all this independent vs traditional talk is just, I dunno, I get it and I guess I'm lucky that all my exs had a good mix of independence and traditional values, ex wife wasn't exactly full Asian either but hey she was Christian so that probably leaned her towards traditionalism.

Still all trainwrecks though so I don't know why the focus on traditionalism as a solution. Last one was really no solution but she has the right to decide for herself what is enough and what is not and she did, even if we may disagree with her expectations.

So 🤷‍♂️ still got fked 😅


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> The thing about all this independent vs traditional talk is just, I dunno, I get it and I guess I'm lucky that all my exs had a good mix of independence and traditional values, ex wife wasn't exactly full Asian either but hey she was Christian so that probably leaned her towards traditionalism.
> 
> Still all trainwrecks though so I don't know why the focus on traditionalism as a solution. Last one was really no solution but she has the right to decide for herself what is enough and what is not and she did, even if we may disagree with her expectations.
> 
> So 🤷‍♂️ still got fked 😅


Hmmm. Your exes don't exactly resemble the traditional woman I married. Just sayin.😉

I'm not referencing the physical looks obviously.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Hmmm. Your exes don't exactly resemble the traditional woman I married. Just sayin.😉
> 
> I'm not referencing the physical looks obviously.


Well yeah, they are independent, but they did have lots of traditional values too like they cooked and cleaned without complaints, understood their roles as a women and mine as a man.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Well yeah, they are independent, but they did have lots of traditional values too like they cooked and cleaned without complaints, understood their roles as a women and mine as a man.


So, is it fair to say many men's idea of a traditional woman is a household appliance?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> So, is it fair to say many men's idea of a traditional woman is a household appliance?


We need an eye roll emoji


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> So, is it fair to say many men's idea of a traditional woman is a household appliance?


A d**khold appliance. 🤣


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> We need an eye roll emoji


Well, why the heck is being a grown-ass adult admired as traditionally feminine? Logically, I must assume it means that men who like that would prefer never to do anything like that, so need a drudge of their own. 



QuietRiot said:


> A d**khold appliance. 🤣


That too. But I don't see the downside to that... 😁


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> That too. But I don't see the downside to that... 😁


She’s like Rosie on the Jetsons. Washes dishes, makes your food, is the butt of funny jokes and also makes the appropriate sounds while collecting semen.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

gameopoly5 said:


> Sorry, but it`s not most typical that fathers get shared custody, check that out for yourself.
> Then you say, *yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should).*
> You are making a contradiction. First you say, most typical is shared custody and then you say, the women should receive spousal and child support.
> So you have substantiated what I said, the men will pay regardless and why men today shying away from relationships and marriage.


Most custody arrangements are shared custody, the percentages vary a lot but that is all typically negotiated. Also in 51% of cases both parents agree that the woman should be the custodial parent. Very few custody cases go to trial. Most custody cases are determined without court intervention. So basically men are agreeing to the arrangements they end up with. 99.99% is a hyperbolic suggestion I know, but functionally most often the kids are going back and forth between the parents. A divorce ending with one parent getting 100% custody is rare and if it happens it is often warranted. And in the case a woman has primary custody (which statistically the man has agreed to), and she makes less (also historically the case in most situations) she should be awarded support and the man should pay. It's not a perfect situation and life is not fair, it is what it is. I'm sure it sucks, you adapt and overcome, dwelling on and fuming over a situation you cannot control is a pathway to misery. 

I my state the average is 50/50 custody and the law is set to lean to that result.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Well yeah, they are independent, but they did have lots of traditional values too like they cooked and cleaned without complaints, understood their roles as a women and mine as a man.


It doesn't sound like they were as into you as my lady is into me and maybe vice versa?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Most custody arrangements are shared custody, the percentages vary a lot but that is all typically negotiated. Also in 51% of cases both parents agree that the woman should be the custodial parent. Very few custody cases go to trial. Most custody cases are determined without court intervention. So basically men are agreeing to the arrangements they end up with. 99.99% is a hyperbolic suggestion I know, but functionally most often the kids are going back and forth between the parents. A divorce ending with one parent getting 100% custody is rare and if it happens it is often warranted. And in the case a woman has primary custody (which statistically the man has agreed to), and she makes less (also historically the case in most situations) she should be awarded support and the man should pay. It's not a perfect situation and life is not fair, it is what it is. I'm sure it sucks, you adapt and overcome, dwelling on and fuming over a situation you cannot control is a pathway to misery.
> 
> I my state the average is 50/50 custody and the law is set to lean to that result.


Child support must only be for women. I have full custody and don't see squat. LOL


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Why would they though? It's not easy to get a visa, many don't meet the criteria or have the money for international travel. They look at Western women and would be with them if they could, if they also found them attractive.
> 
> But they're more realistic about what they have to offer a woman and select accordingly. Mind you, I have family members who married Western women (American and European) , some of whom are still married. However, they were attractive within Western standards and moved to the first world and were successful enough to have their pick of women.


I did it and I am not shy about it. Sure, visas are not easy to get, and that aspect of it is probably one of the only things holding a lot of men back. That, and the constant shaming from ladies living here in the USA. 

Here's why I married a girl from Philippines. Have you ever seen the generic advice men are given to meet women online? Yes, I know men can meet women in person too but online is quickly becoming the most popular way to meet women and that game is essentially rigged in favor of the women. Send witty messages, read profiles, play the numbers game, and hope for a dismal return where you get around 1 reply for every 10 messages sent. All because (and this has been proven) 80% of single women in the USA are going after the top 15-20% of men. It's not worth it. The last time I tried OLD I had a handful of matches after 2 months of effort. The best girl I met was an albeit cute girl, but also a raging socialist/feminist that admitted she physically abused her ex husband and got angry when I told her that was a big concern for me. When I tried OLD online, I had 4000 matches in 2 months. Met a nice, pretty girl EASY.

I'm a regular guy with a regular job here. I can get a woman here, but why? Why should I put that much effort into things just to meet some socialist that doesn't like working? My Filipina wife is beautiful, good to me, respectable, and I don't have to worry about her wanting to turn our kid into LGBTQ because it will give her clout online. And hey, I'm a grounded guy, maybe things won't work out for us. There are no guarantees in life. I can tell you what though, I am done dating in the USA either way. If my marriage doesn't work out, I will go abroad again and meet a nice Conservative girl that doesn't make dating such a chore. Meanwhile, I will continue making all my guy friends envious. You'd be surprised how many men have hit me up and echoed some of the same sentiments I have shared here, wanting to know how to meet a foreign girl. 

As a disclaimer, I know there are some decent women stateside, but again, there just aren't enough of them.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Well, why the heck is being a grown-ass adult admired as traditionally feminine? Logically, I must assume it means that men who like that would prefer never to do anything like that, so need a drudge of their own.
> 
> 
> That too. But I don't see the downside to that... 😁


So just so I'm clear. You don't agree with being traditionally feminine?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> It doesn't sound like they were as into you as my lady is into me and maybe vice versa?


They were, but things change as happens in many relationships. Ex wife and I grew apart with our religious differences and all the drama in regards to her insatiable sexual needs, last ex well, she also wanted more than I could give, more sex, more effort, she wanted exact words "someone who will give me everything from beginning to end"

As the video mentioned, she is very guilty of being on the phone all day looking at TikTok husbands and boyfriends doing weird things for women and then complaining that I don't do enough for her because she saw this stuff online.

We were happy during our first year, but I feared I may have spoiled her with thousands of dollars on dates and occasions. That's why I started to pull back and then she accused me of no longer putting in the effort and of course... all the tiktok crap and comparisons, then the lockdowns, and walla...

Like, these are just normal relationship issues and are common, I don't see how traditionalism would have fixed any of it.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I did it and I am not shy about it. Sure, visas are not easy to get, and that aspect of it is probably one of the only things holding a lot of men back. That, and the constant shaming from ladies living here in the USA.
> 
> Here's why I married a girl from Philippines. Have you ever seen the generic advice men are given to meet women online? Yes, I know men can meet women in person too but online is quickly becoming the most popular way to meet women and that game is essentially rigged in favor of the women. Send witty messages, read profiles, play the numbers game, and hope for a dismal return where you get around 1 reply for every 10 messages sent. All because (and this has been proven) 80% of single women in the USA are going after the top 15-20% of men. It's not worth it. The last time I tried OLD I had a handful of matches after 2 months of effort. The best girl I met was an albeit cute girl, but also a raging socialist/feminist that admitted she physically abused her ex husband and got angry when I told her that was a big concern for me. When I tried OLD online, I had 4000 matches in 2 months. Met a nice, pretty girl EASY.
> 
> ...


Theres tons of foreign women streaming across the southern border of my state which y’all are welcome to come pick up! I know we’d greatly appreciate it. They don’t need any visas either. 🙂


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> Child support must only be for women. I have full custody and don't see squat. LOL


Didn't your ex go to jail? Did you ask for support or did you say just get her out of my life. The law is very slow to catch up with society. I think you are starting to see courts actually look at custody without an automatic default, mom gets the kids and the money, as more and more women are earning about the same and sometimes more that men. It's a wide range from state to state.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> They were, but things change as happens in many relationships. Ex wife and I grew apart with our religious differences and all the drama in regards to her insatiable sexual needs, last ex well, she also wanted more than I could give, more sex, more effort, she wanted exact words "someone who will give me everything from beginning to end"
> 
> As the video mentioned, she is very guilty of being on the phone all day looking at TikTok husbands and boyfriends doing weird things for women and then complaining that I don't do enough for her because she saw this stuff online.
> 
> ...


That’s called high maintenance… if I’m not mistaken.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I did it and I am not shy about it. Sure, visas are not easy to get, and that aspect of it is probably one of the only things holding a lot of men back. That, and the constant shaming from ladies living here in the USA.
> 
> Here's why I married a girl from Philippines. Have you ever seen the generic advice men are given to meet women online? Yes, I know men can meet women in person too but online is quickly becoming the most popular way to meet women and that game is essentially rigged in favor of the women. Send witty messages, read profiles, play the numbers game, and hope for a dismal return where you get around 1 reply for every 10 messages sent. All because (and this has been proven) 80% of single women in the USA are going after the top 15-20% of men. It's not worth it. The last time I tried OLD I had a handful of matches after 2 months of effort. The best girl I met was an albeit cute girl, but also a raging socialist/feminist that admitted she physically abused her ex husband and got angry when I told her that was a big concern for me. When I tried OLD online, I had 4000 matches in 2 months. Met a nice, pretty girl EASY.
> 
> ...


I was talking about thrid world men going after first-world women, so while your situation happens, it has nothing to do with what I said in that quote.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Didn't your ex go to jail? Did you ask for support or did you say just get her out of my life. The law is very slow to catch up with society. I think you are starting to see courts actually look at custody without an automatic default, mom gets the kids and the money, as more and more women are earning about the same and sometimes more that men. It's a wide range from state to state.


She did. I never pressed the issue because like my grandmother always said, " You can't get blood from a turnip"


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> That’s called high maintenance… if I’m not mistaken.


My ex would correct it as "high standards"

😅


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

QuietRiot said:


> Theres tons of foreign women streaming across the southern border of my state which y’all are welcome to come pick up! I know we’d greatly appreciate it. They don’t need any visas either. 🙂


This is both hilarious and depressing.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> So just so I'm clear. You don't agree with being traditionally feminine?


I am traditionally feminine 😂. How did that work out for me?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I am traditionally feminine 😂. How did that work out for me?


That was because you weren't with the right man.😉


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> I was talking about thrid world men going after first-world women, so while your situation happens, it has nothing to do with what I said in that quote.


That's a thing too! I'm a member of several Visa groups and there are a few women who go overseas to get men. Usually a white girl going after some African guy. Unfortunately for them, those African nations are considered high risk for visa fraud. I am sure it works out sometimes though.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> That was because you weren't with the right man.😉


That makes two. 🙋‍♀️

A lot of the traditional women in my life (including myself) got cheated on. 😕


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> Theres tons of foreign women streaming across the southern border of my state which y’all are welcome to come pick up! I know we’d greatly appreciate it. They don’t need any visas either. 🙂


I have had a ton of them hit on me over the years. In my experience, most of the ladies coming across the Southern border are prostitutes, even the ones with families. I passed on all of them.


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

Enigma32 said:


> That's a thing too! I'm a member of several Visa groups and there are a few women who go overseas to get men. Usually a white girl going after some African guy. Unfortunately for them, those African nations are considered high risk for visa fraud. I am sure it works out sometimes though.


I think QuietRiot has solved the problem. If you're single and finding dating difficult just go to one of the border states.

Wait at the gate...

And as they're busting in scream "Hey you wanna go on a date?"


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> As the video mentioned, she is very guilty of being on the phone all day looking at TikTok husbands and boyfriends doing weird things for women and then complaining that I don't do enough for her because she saw this stuff online. she accused me of no longer putting in the effort and of course... all the tiktok crap and comparisons,


Not traditional at all and a world apart from Mrs. C.

A traditional woman would have been your helper and enhancer. The women you are describing sound like brats that need thrown over a shoulder and carted off for a sounds spankin.😉

I can't relate to the sex thing because I have a drive that has never met it's match in real life but I know my wife has been patient with me on the occasions we haven't been having sex as much as she would like due to stress and professional requirements.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> That was because you weren't with the right man.😉


Clearly.

The sad truth is people who get burned as badly are never the same, and won't be inclined to offer the royal treatment to anyone who doesn't deserve it.


QuietRiot said:


> That makes two. 🙋‍♀️
> 
> A lot of the traditional women in my life (including myself) got cheated on. 😕


Yes. I wasn't 19 anymore, not exciting, not independent. Although I started working later on and still did EVERYTHING despite dealing with a chronic illness that limits my energy. So no, I'm not the least bit interested in being that traditional again, it's not equitable.

My ex inlaws are still trying to remain in my life, that's how well I meshed into their family. I was the perfect wife, and it wasn't enough.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Brigit24 said:


> I think QuietRiot has solved the problem. If you're single and finding dating difficult just go to one of the border states.
> 
> Wait at the gate...
> 
> And as they're busting in scream "Hey you wanna go on a date?"


That's pretty much what the women are already doing when they come here. I had a few of them working for us and I helped 2 of them set up a FB profile which they used to meet American men and make some anchor babies.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BoSlander said:


> My XW used to get triggered big time by tattoos and beards.
> 
> Like she wouldn't stop staring, locking eyes and smiling like a 16 year old.
> 
> She would go so much into a daze when triggered that even me asking her to snap out of it wouldn't do it.


I would have just said, "Why don't you just go ask him if you can suck his D*** already!"


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I have had a ton of them hit on me over the years. In my experience, most of the ladies coming across the Southern border are prostitutes, even the ones with families. I passed on all of them.


Not at all. There are simply hundreds of thousands of people coming across. They are not all prostitutes, not more so than the prostitute slums in Asia. Just extremely poor. Poor enough to feel like a home and food in a fridge is a blessing. 

You even get the added benefit of being cussed at in spanish if that’s your thing. 

Come one come all. Plenty to go around.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Brigit24 said:


> I think QuietRiot has solved the problem. If you're single and finding dating difficult just go to one of the border states.
> 
> Wait at the gate...
> 
> And as they're busting in scream "Hey you wanna go on a date?"


Learn it in Spanish though. 😉


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Clearly.
> 
> The sad truth is people who get burned as badly are never the same, and won't be inclined to offer the royal treatment to anyone who doesn't deserve it.


Preaching to the choir


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> Not at all. There are simply hundreds of thousands of people coming across. They are not all prostitutes, not more so than the prostitute slums in Asia. Just extremely poor. Poor enough to feel like a home and food in a fridge is a blessing.
> 
> You even get the added benefit of being cussed at in spanish if that’s your thing.
> 
> Come one come all. Plenty to go around.


It's actually a practical solution. Incels can get a woman they feel superior to, the women can get regularized.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> Not at all. There are simply hundreds of thousands of people coming across. They are not all prostitutes, not more so than the prostitute slums in Asia. Just extremely poor. Poor enough to feel like a home and food in a fridge is a blessing.
> 
> You even get the added benefit of being cussed at in spanish if that’s your thing.
> 
> Come one come all. Plenty to go around.


They are pretty traditional so there is that.😉


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> It's actually a practical solution. Incels can get a woman they feel superior to, the women can get regularized.


I'm against illegal immigration but I don't hate them that much!!!!😳


----------



## Brigit24 (2 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> Clearly.
> 
> The sad truth is people who get burned as badly are never the same, and won't be inclined to offer the royal treatment to anyone who doesn't deserve it.
> 
> ...


That's really sad. Hugs. If that happened to me I wouldn't want to be a traditional wife either.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> Not at all. There are simply hundreds of thousands of people coming across. They are not all prostitutes, not more so than the prostitute slums in Asia. Just extremely poor. Poor enough to feel like a home and food in a fridge is a blessing.
> 
> You even get the added benefit of being cussed at in spanish if that’s your thing.
> 
> Come one come all. Plenty to go around.


My family business has hired dozens of girls that came over the Southern border and every single one of them was doing some prostitution on the side. I doubt they tell everyone what they are doing, but they sure told me, hoping to find a client. I can't speak for everyone coming over the border, just every one of the dozens I have met and given work to in the past 20+ years.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Not traditional at all and a world apart from Mrs. C.
> 
> A traditional woman would have been your helper and enhancer. The women you are describing sound like brats that need thrown over a shoulder and carted off for a sounds spankin.😉
> 
> I can't relate to the sex thing because I have a drive that has never met it's match in real life but I know my wife has been patient with me on the occasions we haven't been having sex as much as she would like due to stress and professional requirements.


Lol so you reckon I could have gone for a full traditional woman and not have this issue? I don't know.

I think her behaviour considering it ended up on YouTube is just more an indication of millennial and Gen Z attitudes of entitlement regardless of how independent or traditional they are.

Ex has an excuse anyway she's like what? 22 now lol. I always built my houses on the edge of cliffs going for all the exciting romances so it's kinda my fault I ended up this way regardless. You guys all did warn me about going for someone 14 years younger.

But I'm INTJ and we tend to have warped minds and we need warped minds to compliment, they don't always come from compatible sources. Oh well


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> But I'm INTJ and we tend to have warped minds and we need warped minds to compliment, they don't always come from compatible sources. Oh well


I'm an INTJ with another INTJ, we complement each other very well. It's not always pretty, honesty can be pretty brutal, but it's a uniquely emotionally and intellectually intimate relationship. Try it, you might like it!


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> My family business has hired dozens of girls that came over the Southern border and every single one of them was doing some prostitution on the side. I doubt they tell everyone what they are doing, but they sure told me, hoping to find a client. I can't speak for everyone coming over the border, just every one of the dozens I have met and given work to in the past 20+ years.


I hate to be a downer, but it’s the little girls and boys that are coming across unaccompanied which have the higher rates of prostitution. It’s something nobody wants to talk about but there it is. Way less grown women than you think coming across are prostitutes.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TXTrini said:


> I'm an INTJ with another INTJ, we complement each other very well. It's not always pretty, honesty can be pretty brutal, but it's a uniquely emotionally and intellectually intimate relationship. Try it, you might like it!


I did remember, she was an absolutely beautiful author/artist/actress and business owner.... who never had a relationship in her life. 🤦‍♂️

We got up to 5 dates and then I got triggered when she pulled out a blanket from her handbag in the cinema instead of cuddles. To be honest a part of me feels sorry for her but I can't be there to hold her hand and teach her even the basics of physical touch. Perhaps if I was more patient? But I wasn't, my mind was into one thing even though I didn't realise it until the end. 

By comparison the woman I hooked up with, was ESFP, same as ex-wife. My last ex? ESFJ. So what the hell 😑


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> I hate to be a downer, but it’s the little girls and boys that are coming across unaccompanied which have the higher rates of prostitution. It’s something nobody wants to talk about but there it is. Way less grown women than you think coming across are prostitutes.


As I said before, I can only speak to my own personal experience. As an employer of many immigrants, every single one of them was doing prostitution on the side in addition to their regular job. One girl I am still friends with because she worked for us for 10 years had 3 "boyfriends" here in the States that would call her up and give her money for sex. I am sure plenty of the kids are doing it too since the age of consent in Mexico is what, 12?


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> As I said before, I can only speak to my own personal experience. As an employer of many immigrants, every single one of them was doing prostitution on the side in addition to their regular job. One girl I am still friends with because she worked for us for 10 years had 3 "boyfriends" here in the States that would call her up and give her money for sex. I am sure plenty of the kids are doing it too since the age of consent in Mexico is what, 12?


Sorry this turned into a threadjack OP. 

The immigration issues are completely different over the last 2 years than ever before. You would be disgusted and astounded at what is happening at the border. 5 though 16 year olds. When you know people who work in border patrol and have to deal with this stuff every day and need therapy as a course of the job description, you get the real story. It’s not a pretty situation down here.

In other news, plenty of NON prostitute foreign females who will be glad to be your traditional partner. You will have many children. 🙂


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

QuietRiot said:


> In other news, plenty of NON prostitute foreign females who will be glad to be your traditional partner. You will have many children. 🙂


Lord, don't do that to me 🤣 Wifey and I agreed to one.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> I did remember, she was an absolutely beautiful author/artist/actress and business owner.... who never had a relationship in her life. 🤦‍♂️
> 
> We got up to 5 dates and then I got triggered when she pulled out a blanket from her handbag in the cinema instead of cuddles. To be honest a part of me feels sorry for her but I can't be there to hold her hand and teach her even the basics of physical touch. Perhaps if I was more patient? But I wasn't, my mind was into one thing even though I didn't realise it until the end.
> 
> By comparison the woman I hooked up with, was ESFP, same as ex-wife. My last ex? ESFJ. So what the hell 😑


I think I am now an IDGAF. What are my prospects? 😉


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> That's pretty much what the women are already doing when they come here. I had a few of them working for us and I helped 2 of them set up a FB profile which they used to meet American men and make some anchor babies.


What if they look like Salma Hayek?


















She's not even my type (face is gorgeous, body-wise too short, but really nice bewbies lol) but I'll make some anchor babies with her


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> I think I am now an IDGAF. *What are my prospects?* 😉


Still better than mine 😅


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> What if they look like Salma Hayek?
> 
> View attachment 93795
> 
> ...


Man, we only had maybe 5 of them that I considered dateable in regards to looks and I am attracted to a wide variety of females. You'd have turned down all of them for sure.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Lord, don't do that to me 🤣 Wifey and I agreed to one.


Sometimes it doesn't always happen based on what you want, maybe you can get octoplets! 








Suddenly, congratulations! You have spawned a new neighborhood!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> I'm an INTJ with another INTJ, we complement each other very well. It's not always pretty, honesty can be pretty brutal, but it's a uniquely emotionally and intellectually intimate relationship. Try it, you might like it!


Hahahaha! Had to look it up.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> What if they look like Salma Hayek?
> 
> View attachment 93795
> 
> ...


You have issues my friend, even Salma Hayek is flawed to you. You remind me of that movie with Eva Mendez as the super successful doctor, and traditional homemaker and perfect wife. Mark Wahlberg is her husband and says she’s ugly and not very smart and not the greatest wife and Will Farrel is like… what is wrong with you?!?!. You are Mark Wahlberg in that movie.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Man, we only had maybe 5 of them that I considered dateable in regards to looks and I am attracted to a wide variety of females. You'd have turned down all of them for sure.


Lol so they don't look like Salma Hayek? 

My life has been a lie 😑


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Child support must only be for women. I have full custody and don't see squat. LOL


Isn't your xW in the slammer? They don't pay much to convicts. Did the judge decide she was exempt support because she was a felon?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You'll have to jump in early because seems to me the majority of the ones coming into Texas start having kids right after the "womanhood' Quincieneara at 15. They're already dragging three kids by the time they're 20. You see what you'd swear are kids with babies. It seems like it's slightly better than it was 10 years ago. I don't agree they're all prostitutes and they have plenty of incels of their own persuasion available to them. But there is a lot of child prostitution going on at the border; hence, the trafficking problem. They lease their kids out to go to the border and get in with someone unrelated. You hear about these kids who are just loose here with no parents. That's why. Their parents didn't have them taken from them or separated from them like the left used to say. They lease them out for money. Then the worst of them use them for trade even after they're here. But that is not the majority, but it is FAR too common nonetheless.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Lol so they don't look like Salma Hayek?
> 
> My life has been a lie 😑


I haven't seen any that look anything like Selma Hayek. Not even close.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> You have issues my friend, even Salma Hayek is flawed to you. You remind me of that movie with Eva Mendez as the super successful doctor, and traditional homemaker and perfect wife. Mark Wahlberg is her husband and says she’s ugly and not very smart and not the greatest wife and Will Farrel is like… what is wrong with you?!?!. You are Mark Wahlberg in that movie.


Hey I'll still bang her lol, she's pretty and look at those boobs! Eva Mendez? Ewwww  lol

And hey now I had a decent right-swipe rate with the women I found online, on a good day I swiped right to maybe 40%? Average around 20%. Even if I set my preferences to 5'7+ Asians only 😅

Anyway my strict preferences this year is mainly because of ms work crush. If she looked like Salma Hayek I might have had a boob fetish instead who knows lol


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> Hahahaha! Had to look it up.
> 
> View attachment 93797


OMG, that IS YOU!


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Hey I'll still bang her lol, she's pretty and look at those boobs! Eva Mendez? Ewwww  lol
> 
> And hey now I had a decent right-swipe rate with the women I found online, on a good day I swiped right to maybe 40%? Average around 20%. Even if I set my preferences to 5'7+ Asians only 😅
> 
> Anyway my strict preferences this year is mainly because of ms work crush. If she looked like Salma Hayek I might have had a boob fetish instead who knows lol


You literally sound JUST like the character I am talking about!!!! 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I haven't seen any that look anything like Selma Hayek. Not even close.


Then ok, I understand importing from Asia instead  



QuietRiot said:


> You literally sound JUST like the character I am talking about!!!! 🤣🤣🤣


Lol now I have to watch the movie


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ROFL  
I'm not THAT bad lol


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Hahahaha! Had to look it up.
> 
> View attachment 93797


Is anyone surprised?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Laurentium said:


> Is anyone surprised?


His personality type even has his SWORD!


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Not said:


> Another one that goes deeper into masculine and feminine energy and what those are.


Nice video. But my take is, I want to have the flexibility to do both masculine and feminine energy as needed. I need to speak both languages.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> ROFL
> I'm not THAT bad lol


Ok I got the two guys mixed up but yes that is YOU!!! 🤣🤣🤣🙂


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Unlike the model with a man’s face shown earlier in this thread, I have no problem saying that Salma Hayek is a very attractive woman.

Sigh, autocorrect often sucks dead dogs balls.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

TXTrini said:


> So, is it fair to say many men's idea of a traditional woman is a household appliance?


I think there’s an acronym for that.

*W* washing
*I* ironing
*F* ****ing
*E* etc


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Personal said:


> Unlike the model with a man’s face shown Eaton this thread, I have no problem saying that Salma Hayek is a very attractive woman.


Only in "From Dusk till Dawn"


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> But for joint custody there should be no support going either way. Plain and simple.
> 
> Change one word:
> 
> I think women should pay to support their children.





Numb26 said:


> But for joint custody there should be no support going either way. Plain and simple.
> 
> Change one word:
> 
> I think women should pay to support their children.


To me it depends on the situation. If woman cheated, give dad majority custody to zero out CS. It is not fair that he has a cheating spouse who then takes away half the time with his kids, and to top it off, make him give her money, hell to the no. 

Give her weekends and call it even.

If guy cheats and is main earner, then yes , his ass needs to pay up!

If deal was for spouse to be SAHP then I agree with alimony to a point, but not if cheating had occurred.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Isn't your xW in the slammer? They don't pay much to convicts. Did the judge decide she was exempt support because she was a felon?


She is out. She is working now to provide what she should.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> She did. I never pressed the issue because like my grandmother always said, " You can't get blood from a turnip"


You missed out on getting child support in the form of cigarettes and toilet booze.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Insert peaceful and agreeable instead of sunny and you have me. I am a pretty traditional man and I absolutely kick the world's ass for my wife and that includes dealing with a lot of unpleasant things and conflict on an almost daily basis. She does take some of that load but I shoulder the lion's share.
> 
> I need my wife to be a place for me to be peaceful, rested and rejuvenated.
> 
> ...


EXACTLY! 💯 My wife is my safe port in the storm. I have told my wife almost the same thing. At home with her, I can take off my armor and not worry about being stabbed in the back. 

I told her, in the Bible the whole armor did not include anything to cover my back. I am supposed to stand against evil and fight. I will stand between my wife and children and that which would do them harm. She said, "You don't have to worry about your back, I will always protect your back"

She does too. When I was searching abandoned houses looking for a violent mental cousin with my AR-15, she was covering my back with her Smith 9mm.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

QuietRiot said:


> Ok I got the two guys mixed up but yes that is YOU!!! 🤣🤣🤣🙂


Hey now I'm not the only one on this thread discerning with my tastes 😅 

And other folks here are happily married too lol!


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Laurentium said:


> Nice video. But my take is, I want to have the flexibility to do both masculine and feminine energy as needed. I need to speak both languages.


Agree and with the right person you should be able too. Women appreciate vulnerability, at least I do.

When a man can drop his defenses for his woman that shows genuine trust and I don’t know about anyone else but someone showing me that level of trust would not only be a massive turn on but it would bond me to him like nothing else.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> Agree and with the right person you should be able too. Women appreciate vulnerability, at least I do.
> 
> When a man can drop his defenses for his woman that shows genuine trust and I don’t know about anyone else but someone showing me that level of trust would not only be a massive turn on but it would bond me to him like nothing else.


I'm an INTJ, a personality type renowned for refusing to be vulnerable and yet I went all in emotionally and was vulnerable with my ex, it wasn't enough. Serves me right for investing something like that to an 18 yr old at the time. But ironically, it was likely because of her age/innocence along with the sense of responsibility to give her a love relationship that led to my vulnerability.

It was like, a clink in the armor, tunnel under my walls, etc etc. Either way I don't see it ever happening again. At least it happened though, the INTJ woman I dated, she was so beautiful and so successful, but not once had she even had a relationship. 

If given the choices again I would repeat them. No regrets. Even if I ran out of love to give I was lucky to experience all that I had experienced in my lifetime.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> I'm an INTJ, a personality type renowned for refusing to be vulnerable and yet I went all in emotionally and was vulnerable with my ex, it wasn't enough. Serves me right for investing something like that to an 18 yr old at the time. But ironically, it was likely because of her age/innocence along with the sense of responsibility to give her a love relationship that led to my vulnerability.
> 
> It was like, a clink in the armor, tunnel under my walls, etc etc. Either way I don't see it ever happening again. At least it happened though, the INTJ woman I dated, she was so beautiful and so successful, but not once had she even had a relationship.
> 
> If given the choices again I would repeat them. No regrets. Even if I ran out of love to give I was lucky to experience all that I had experienced in my lifetime.


You need to meet someone who’s at the same level you are.

I was thinking about this just yesterday. With my last relationship I knew at the beginning we were not on the same level and we really shouldn’t have made it past the first month because of that. I knew.

And it’s really hard to describe what I mean by that. There are certain things that have to be present within the individual. Respect for others is a big one. The ability to place oneself in another’s shoes, or at least a genuine effort to try is another.

I guess at the end of the day I would say it all comes down to mental and emotional maturity. Your girlfriend was very young, but there are people my age who’ve never grown in that way so….


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Not said:


> You need to meet someone who’s at the same level you are.
> 
> I was thinking about this just yesterday. With my last relationship I knew at the beginning we were not on the same level and we really shouldn’t have made it past the first month because of that. I knew.
> And it’s really hard to describe what I mean by that. There are certain things that have to be present within the individual. Respect for others is a big one. The ability to place oneself in another’s shoes, or at least a genuine effort to try is another.
> I guess at the end of the day I would say it all comes down to mental and emotional maturity. Your girlfriend was very young, but there are people my age who’ve never grown in that way so….


She was too young yes, but also very smart and possessed both an intellect and an imagination. She's going places. As for her maturity, she had emotional maturity however, and I'm much more grounded with my emotions after four years with her.

She cries at the ending of 50 first dates, I laugh my ass off. That's the kinda dynamic you would see if you watched a movie with us, but she understood emotions better. Now I do too.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Some of you guys need to lay off the Rollo Tomassi and Roosh V content. Lots of nice feminine women where I live.


happyhusband0005 said:


> I mean all of the rights you mention women have, men have also. And it's not 99.99% of women get the kids and the house, Most typical is shared custody, yes women get spousal support and child support (as they should). There is no data that I have seen that shows women cheat more, I doubt the claim, I do see it as possible that women are more likely to leave a marriage for "better" man than men who will leave for their AP.
> 
> The most cringe worthy part of the video was the complaining that men are now expected to have to work to keep a woman once they got them. If men have that attitude, it's no wonder so many men are being left. In a good relationship both parties should be working to keep their partner, so yah that includes men.
> 
> ...


He’s got nothing to back up his statements either other than a Roosh V or Rollo Tomassi blog post telling him what a victim he is.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

QuietRiot said:


> I have to think about and protect my kids now. The risk is literally not worth it, especially when there is so many crazy sickos in the world. If it were just me I might agree with you, but my kids and I were trashed with their fathers idea of what happiness is so I have to be the person that protects them as much as possible. It may sound jaded but I call it being a good mother.


I always was a very protective mum but I also try not to let fear of what 'may' happen control me.
If I hadn't risked dating again after all I and the children had been though, my kids and grandkids would have missed out on a really great step dad and grandad who they love. They have had no contact with their own dad for many many years, and the grandchildren will likely never meet him, so my now husband has been a real blessing to us all.

I guess it's all about being careful. I didn't date for about 4 years after my marriage ended, and even then it was only very occasionally for the next 2 till I met MrD. I was very fussy and had very strict requirements about what any future husband must be like. I wasn't prepared to compromise. 
One of them was that he must be good with my children and family oriented. He always said that when he married me he took on the family as well.

There are good men out there, don't let one man make you fear the rest.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I always was a very protective mum but I also refuse to let fear or what 'may' happen control me.
> If I hadn't risked dating again after all I had been though, my kids and grandkids would have missed out on a really great step dad and grandad who they love. They have had no contact with their own dad for many many years, and the grandchildren will likely never meet him, so my now husband has been a real blessing.
> 
> I guess it's all about being careful. I didn't date for about 4 years after my marriage ended, and even then it was only very occasionally for the next 2. I was very fussy and had very strict requirements about what any future husband must be like.
> One of them was that he must be good with my children and family oriented.


That’s great for you, and I’m glad you found someone. I don’t judge you for your choices.

I just don’t have any desire to do that while my kids need me. For many reasons, to name a few:

I don’t think it’s fair to them. 

I don’t think replacement parents work out for 90% of people.

I also don’t want them getting attached to men who turn out not to be “the one”. 

I don’t need to have men having access to my kids. I know most men wouldn’t hurt a child, but I’m not taking any purposeful risks. Too much at stake. 

I thought my judgement was fairly good with character, but I was wrong and it cost them. I won’t make them pay any more than they already have. 

In short, they have me, they will be my priority until they reach high school and graduate, and that’s just what I’ve committed myself to. It’s not about me right now, and it’s the least I can do. I just don’t want to play the odds with my kids lives and health.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> That’s great for you, and I’m glad you found someone. I don’t judge you for your choices.
> 
> I just don’t have any desire to do that while my kids need me. For many reasons, to name a few:
> 
> ...


❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Us men are so wiped out to give our souls, money, and that some are now twice divorced. It's ruined our spirit.
Sex is the only commodity we have to get and so we get it and kick you out or pay you for it someway.
The other women got all that we had. Ladies',
There is nothing left to give and nothing to provide. We won't raise a other man's child. We love relationships until a ring is requested or you call the police for a untrue allegation like you pulled to get the EX out. Neither party can trust each other except when it comes to FWB or ONS, or repeats without intimacy. I am 58, things have not changed. It's just the Red Pill opened our eyes. Thanks for listening, I'm praying for a do over with a non caresesel woman. Need a biblical submissive team mate to make it a other 20 Yeats. BTW, albeit I searched, I never been in love. I know no one of the three i married. Or knew, that I can sing "I wish you love," by Keely Smith. 

Sorry.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

David60525 said:


> Us men are so wiped out to give our souls, money, and that some are now twice divorced. It's ruined our spirit.
> Sex is the only commodity we have to get and so we get it and kick you out or pay you for it someway.
> The other women got all that we had. Ladies',
> There is nothing left to give and nothing to provide. We won't raise a other man's child. We love relationships until a ring is requested or you call the police for a untrue allegation like you pulled to get the EX out. Neither party can trust each other except when it comes to FWB or ONS, or repeats without intimacy. I am 58, things have not changed. It's just the Red Pill opened our eyes. Thanks for listening, I'm praying for a do over with a non caresesel woman. Need a biblical submissive team mate to make it a other 20 Yeats. BTW, albeit I searched, I never been in love. I know no one of the three i married. Or knew, that I can sing "I wish you love," by Keely Smith.
> ...


Thanks for sharing. Even when we weren't in love with them, they can still drain us. I'm glad I'm not alone in this experience.

I wonder if I can consider myself lucky for falling in love at least once and having my heart torn asunder, even when we broke up ex said that we were lucky to have experienced a love like ours.

Yet I know she's the last nail on the coffin because of it


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

Isn't the whole purpose of pairing up to have some kids, carry on the blood-line? I'm always so confused by these red-pillers that frame everything around sexual access. Yes, you could go sleep with a hundred easy women over the next ten years. So, what then? You'll have nothing to show for it. Instead, find a nice little gold digger, sorry woman, and seed the next generation. Ten years on, you'll have actually done the only real thing of meaning any organism can do. Stay based and focus on what the actual game is.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

I remember when I started courting my wife I was a little surprised by the lack of worthy competition. She had other suitors sure, but they were prime examples of a lot of modern men. Milquetoast, passive, scared, insecure, didn't really have a clue what they're doing. Even the ones who had tons of money and education. 

It ended up like that time in Seinfeld where Kramer took karate class with kids. And to this day almost 8 years later I still haven't run across one guy who I'd consider having it together enough to be a threat. There just doesn't seem to be many out there anymore. You know when Pete Davidson is the #1 ladies man out there your male population is in deep trouble.

Now if I was one of those guys I'd probably quit dating too. Society teaches them to lose and lose they do. If I wasn't lucky enough to have figured out the unwritten rules I'd probably quit and be playing video games and eating pizza at my bachelor pad during all my free time as well.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

gaius said:


> I remember when I started courting my wife I was a little surprised by the lack of worthy competition. She had other suitors sure, but they were prime examples of a lot of modern men. Milquetoast, passive, scared, insecure, didn't really have a clue what they're doing. Even the ones who had tons of money and education.
> 
> It ended up like that time in Seinfeld where Kramer took karate class with kids. And to this day almost 8 years later I still haven't run across one guy who I'd consider having it together enough to be a threat. There just doesn't seem to be many out there anymore. You know when Pete Davidson is the #1 ladies man out there your male population is in deep trouble.
> 
> Now if I was one of those guys I'd probably quit dating too. Society teaches them to lose and lose they do. If I wasn't lucky enough to have figured out the unwritten rules I'd probably quit and be playing video games and eating pizza at my bachelor pad during all my free time as well.


I think you're right about the men. A lot of the ladies I know still out there dating, they tell me the stories. I do think that most of the ladies out there single aren't much better though. Our culture as a whole has declined significantly.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> I think you're right about the men. A lot of the ladies I know still out there dating, they tell me the stories. I do think that most of the ladies out there single aren't much better though. Our culture as a whole has declined significantly.


People are just exhausted regardless, you can see it in the singles thread here, both men and women. We don't all make the right bets and not always we can just recuperate our losses and bet non stop.


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## Real talk (Apr 13, 2017)

gaius said:


> Milquetoast, passive, scared, insecure, didn't really have a clue what they're doing.


So they were human? You don't say.


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

Is it correct that men are walking away from dating or could it possibly be away from serious relationships.

If I was back in the pool I would certainly be up for one night stands, fwb, and as much sex and good times with as many women as possible but a serious relationship nah! Not for a good long while


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Kput said:


> Is it correct that men are walking away from dating or could it possibly be away from serious relationships.
> 
> If I was back in the pool I would certainly be up for one night stands, fwb, and as much sex and good times with as many women as possible but a serious relationship nah! Not for a good long while


A lot of men don't like casual hook ups, I only resort to it if horny like my fbuddy this year but prefer FWB with exclusivity, and if either of us wants to go dating again we end it.

That in itself is also irritating to find, fbuddy didn't want to be exclusive so that's why she was fbuddy not FWB.. and I got bored of her. More fun to F when she's your actual friend IMO.

For others it seems they give up on that as well.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

It's funny that one of the recent topics in this thread is how your significant other (and wife especially) is supposed to be your safe place. Early in my relationship with my ex I tried to describe to her a hard time in my life that essentially lasted from when I was 11 through high school. She essentially told me to toughen up and just get over it. I didn't really share much with her after that because why would I?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> A lot of men don't like casual hook ups, I only resort to it if horny like my fbuddy this year but prefer FWB with exclusivity, and if either of us wants to go dating again we end it.
> 
> That in itself is also irritating to find, fbuddy didn't want to be exclusive so that's why she was fbuddy not FWB.. and I got bored of her. More fun to F when she's your actual friend IMO.
> 
> For others it seems they give up on that as well.


Just to be clear, a FWB with exclusivity is technically a dating relationship. LOL


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hiner112 said:


> It's funny that one of the recent topics in this thread is how your significant other (and wife especially) is supposed to be your safe place. Early in my relationship with my ex I tried to describe to her a hard time in my life that essentially lasted from when I was 11 through high school. She essentially told me to toughen up and just get over it. I didn't really share much with her after that because why would I?


Ouch!

Mrs. C is 180° in the other direction. She's had her bad moments but caring about my emotions has been a priority for her.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Just to be clear, a FWB with exclusivity is technically a dating relationship. LOL


Logic!😁


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> Just to be clear, a FWB with exclusivity is technically a dating relationship. LOL


Lol true it was kinda more like short term relationships I guess for me looking back. The only feels I get is fondness for an intimate friend but nothing else as there's no future. Sex is just so much better though than ONS 😑

Also cuddles 🤗


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Ouch!
> 
> Mrs. C is 180° in the other direction. She's had her bad moments but caring about my emotions has been a priority for her.


But she wasn't wrong. Yeah it's helpful if you can talk about your feelings but in the end you need to get over things and move on.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> Lol true it was kinda more like short term relationships I guess for me looking back. The only feels I get is fondness for an intimate friend but nothing else as there's no future. Sex is just so much better though than ONS 😑
> 
> Also cuddles 🤗


Cuddles??? I don't even know who you are anymore! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> Cuddles??? I don't even know who you are anymore! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Yes I love my cuddles 🤗 🤣

Fbuddy this year wouldn't let me sleep over, cause she didn't want to remove her makeup 🙄, but maybe she spared me! 😅


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> Yes I love my cuddles 🤗 🤣
> 
> Fbuddy this year wouldn't let me sleep over, cause she didn't want to remove her makeup 🙄, but maybe she spared me! 😅


No sleepovers!!! They lead to someone getting the feels. Not good!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> No sleepovers!!! They lead to someone getting the feels. Not good!


Well, that would explain a lot 🤔

Still I had FWBs for months and no issues snuggling up with each other so 🤷‍♂️










Still going to want my cuddles! 🤗 
Feels be damned!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> but in the end


Key point to the post. She jumped right to the end and it would have ended my relationship with my Mrs. if she got me to trust her enough to talk and she pulled that. Unless my situation wasn't like his and I'm off.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Key point to the post. She jumped right to the end and it would have ended my relationship with my Mrs. if she got me to trust her enough to talk and she pulled that. Unless my situation wasn't like his and I'm off.


True. Depends on what the issue was and the type of person your SO is.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> But she wasn't wrong. Yeah it's helpful if you can talk about your feelings but in the end you need to get over things and move on.


Me: I've spent the last decade of my life being told, mostly by my female peers, that I would live and die alone, that I was a terrible example of male, and that any relationship that I would be in would have an ulterior motive. This is my first relationship of any kind in my life. It make me feel worried.

Her: F your feelings.

_shrug_ If you can't understand why I might have wanted her to be a bit more considerate in that situation I envy you your charmed life. One of the more ironic things is that I _should_ make most guys my age feel kind of insecure now 20+ years later.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Hiner112 said:


> Me: I've spent the last decade of my life being told, mostly by my female peers, that I would live and die alone, that I was a terrible example of male, and that any relationship that I would be in would have an ulterior motive. This is my first relationship of any kind in my life. It make me feel worried.
> 
> Her: F your feelings.
> 
> _shrug_ If you can't understand why I might have wanted her to be a bit more considerate in that situation I envy you your charmed life. One of the more ironic things is that I _should_ make most guys my age feel kind of insecure now 20+ years later.


But were any of those things true?


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> But were any of those things true?


At that time I had a decade of experience and testimony saying that it was. I had been dating someone for about a year but whether it was "real" and would last was an open question. Whether it would ever be repeated if it didn't was also questionable. In other words at that time I didn't know if those things were true or not.

There could have been empathy or sympathy. There could have even been some reassurance. Instead she just invalidated my experience. A potential part of our relationship died that day. From there on out I would be guarded.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Hiner112 said:


> At that time I had a decade of experience and testimony saying that it was. I had been dating someone for about a year but whether it was "real" and would last was an open question. Whether it would ever be repeated if it didn't was also questionable. In other words at that time I didn't know if those things were true or not.
> 
> There could have been empathy or sympathy. There could have even been some reassurance. Instead she just invalidated my experience. A potential part of our relationship died that day. From there on out I would be guarded.


I understand about being guarded. That is how I am now.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Ouch!
> 
> Mrs. C is 180° in the other direction. She's had her bad moments but caring about my emotions has been a priority for her.


Yeah, plenty of us do. My SO had some difficulties a couple of years ago that scared and depressed him and I rubbed his shoulders and told him it would be ok, and it was ok.

Why wouldn't your SO's emotions be important?


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