# Husband Out of Work



## hbgirl (Feb 15, 2011)

Husband's worked on & off for last couple years. I feel like he doesn't really care if we lose our house. He just keeps charging and charging and charging instead of ACTIVELY SEEKING WORK. Then he gets mad at me and accuses me of having another man that makes money if I even mention our financial situation. He has everybody walking on eggshells constantly because he's been so hateful. He needs to get out of the house and work but I can't get him to understand that. He'd rather be miserable and make everybody else miserable I think.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Is it possible to cut off his access to money? If he's using credit cards are they in both your names?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

hbgirl said:


> Husband's worked on & off for last couple years. I feel like he doesn't really care if we lose our house. He just keeps charging and charging and charging instead of ACTIVELY SEEKING WORK. Then he gets mad at me and accuses me of having another man that makes money if I even mention our financial situation. He has everybody walking on eggshells constantly because he's been so hateful. He needs to get out of the house and work but I can't get him to understand that. He'd rather be miserable and make everybody else miserable I think.


 First, he is a deadbeat husband. He doesn't get full employment because he knows YOU will. Stop funding ANYTHING for him. If he wants a round of beers with the guys, HE can work to pay for it, even if he has to go to McDonalds.

Second, he may be ashamed of being out of work; most men get that way. Give him some benefit, but REQUIRE REAL WORK or real job search from him. No results, no money.

Third, his hatefulness is his masking of either his shame, or else his proclivity to let a woman SUPPORT him. Either way, you are screwed.


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## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

could it be the fact that there are no jobs out their or isn't he genuinely trying?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

McDonalds is always hiring.


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

Yes, there are jobs that are always hiring that will help out at least a little bit. Just sitting around though, is not progressing anything.



turnera said:


> McDonalds is always hiring.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The world has changed so much. When I was growing up, my parents would have walked dogs, thrown papers, washed windshields, just to make sure their kids were provided for. They would NEVER have gone after welfare money. People back then had pride and self-respect. 

Nowadays, you get 'I'm better than that job' or 'that job's not good enough' or 'I deserve a better job.' All while taking money from ME (through my tax money). Shameful.


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

This economy has made me grateful to have a job. If you're optimistic you can find good sides of all jobs, whether its an opportunity to move up, work independently, have a flexible schedule, benefits, a check to buy groceries. Something, no we may not be going on lavish vacations, getting huge bonuses, and buying luxury, but that job can put you at least one step in the right direction. 



turnera said:


> The world has changed so much. When I was growing up, my parents would have walked dogs, thrown papers, washed windshields, just to make sure their kids were provided for. They would NEVER have gone after welfare money. People back then had pride and self-respect.
> 
> Nowadays, you get 'I'm better than that job' or 'that job's not good enough' or 'I deserve a better job.' All while taking money from ME (through my tax money). Shameful.


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