# Hello all...



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I'ts been a long time since I posted around here, almost a full year, woke up this morning on my birthday with the bed still half empty...thought I would give an update...first some back ground...

My life left my in Nov 2010, I am an alcoholic and spent more time with my beer than her...it stung like hell when she left, but not enough to make my stop drinking...in January 2011, my first grandbaby was born, my little baby doll, my daughter told me I couldn't see her if I kept drinking, hurt like hell, but not enough to make me stop...

Finally, last summer...after not speaking to my wife for a couple of months, and not seeing my grandbaby much at all...I turned 50 and decided I needed to change to get my wife back and to spend time with little Layla...I started a Christian based 12 step program...Living Free...I did it to manipulate my wife, to convince her I was changing...I'd go to the first few meetings, then stop and get some beer on the way home. Eventually, a funny thing happened...I stopped drinking, stopped trying to us it to win my wife back, started going to get my life back...I had to heal myself first, and that had to be my number one priority. God has filled the void that was there when I stopped drinking...I've been on the ground running since.

My wife and I started seeing each other once a week and at church...mostly just a few hours a week, we were making progress, but very slowly. In November, she told me her lease was up at the end of the year and that time, she wasn't ready to move back home...I was frustraited, I knew I had changed and if she was only going to see me a few hours a week, there was no way she could see these changes...I told her I was done and wanted out. I caught her off gaurd with my bluntness...but she agreed that if we were going to make it, she needed to make a better effort to spend time with me (and our youngest son who stayed with me)...

Flash forward to now, we have been in counseling (at church) for 6 months, we've had two wonderful counselors that have helped nourish our relationship. Love has never been a question between the two of us, we just stopped being a couple a long time ago, devoted ourselves to being good parents, and then the drinking took over...we are a couple now...

I get to see my grand daughter whenever I want to, she even comes out to the house and spends nights with grandpa, she is the light of my life...I asked my wife to re-new our vows with me and she said yes...she spends as much time here as she does in her town house...hopefully she will move back home in a few months to be here for our son's senior year in high school.

Long story short, when we both let God back into our lives, he took over and we just followed his path...I am not a religious freak, just sharing what has happened in our lives...as we became closer to Him, we came closer to each other again...

I don't know how long I've been clean...since sometime last fall...I don't worry about that, I worry about today, tomorrow and fighting temptations now...life is good, just finished a 2 mile run and need to go workout...then spend the rest of m birthday with my lovely bride (we have counseling tonight)...

things can and do workout...God Bless!!!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Happy Birthday! Sounds like you are in a good place, congrats.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

What an awesome story. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you the best in the future.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Really needed to hear this. Been putting God back in my life and since I've seen my own growth and improvement. I wish you Wellness and happiness. Thanks for sharing. Happy Birthday.
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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

He is there for you if you open your heart up to him.

I am very happy for you.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Thanks for the great story, and congratulations on your sobriety...and happy birthday as well! I too have looked to God for the answers and guidance through this whole mess. We've been separated almost a year and I'm not sure where he's at (relationship-wise). I'm just now coming to realize that I've wasted all this time that we've been apart on grieving and not bettering myself. Here's to hoping I can get my act together soon.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Thanks for the well wishes everyone...we've been married 27 years, way to long to let it go because of beer...took me awhile longer than most to grow up I guess...

One day last summer, my 21 year old son was in town from college...we sat on the front porch talking to the wee hours of the morning...he asked me how I was doing, I replied that no matter what happens, I'll be fine...he said "why wait?" Pretty mature words for one so young...

So why wait? No matter what happens, where you are, why wait to be okay?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

DjF said:


> So why wait? No matter what happens, where you are, why wait to be okay?


I love this line. It inspires me.

I'm glad you are recovering. Keep up the good work. I've seen alcoholism ruin so many lives. Its heridatary in my family. I will pray for your continued sobriety.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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