# Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Ages 6,7,and 9. Clearly they already know something is going on. Wife says she doesn't love me and refuses to reciprocate when I say "I love you" or kiss, touch or show any affection. Has a difficult time speaking without being abusive. When I text her this message she replies "OK". Today she said "This is not going to work out" meaning our marriage I think. She waffles on whether or not she is leaving, sometime yes sometimes no.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

I wouldn't say that if the kids can hear. All you can do is stay strong and wait. It sucks. Confusion sucks. The wait sucks.

Best of luck and God bless


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

No, don't say that in front of the kids. There's no reason to qualify your "I love you" anyway. The words have the same meaning whether someone loves you back or not.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

Thanks for the advice. I suppose I only say it to make myself feel better (less humiliated by the response)


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

Stop saying it! It's time to do the 180. 

The more you chase her when she's like this, the worse it gets, and the more she loses respect for you.

Do the 180 and forget about her feelings for you while you do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SJMan1974 (Jul 9, 2011)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

The 180 works!


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

SJMan1974 said:


> The 180 works!


Indeed. Thanks you all. I'm on it. Let you know how it goes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*

Saying "I love you even if you don't love me back" is just passive-aggressive and comes from a position of weakness. She deliberately doesn't respond to your "I love you" in order to hurt you, so why set her up for the spike she craves. Go about your business, portraying yourself as strong, happy, and content a you can. Shower your kids with affection and fun. If she wants to be a loveless, miserable, stick in the mud, that's her choice. You don't have to hop into the mire with her.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

*Re: Can I Say "I Love You Even If You Don't Love Me Back" If The Kids Can Hear?*



unbelievable said:


> Saying "I love you even if you don't love me back" is just passive-aggressive and comes from a position of weakness. She deliberately doesn't respond to your "I love you" in order to hurt you, so why set her up for the spike she craves. Go about your business, portraying yourself as strong, happy, and content a you can. Shower your kids with affection and fun. If she wants to be a loveless, miserable, stick in the mud, that's her choice. You don't have to hop into the mire with her.


You are right on multiple accounts. So be it.


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