# The 'alpha' POSOM



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I occasionally read a little on other websites to hear different views on how infidelity impacts M's and families as well as how it should be dealt with.

I mention this because there is a guy over on Loveshack right now named CheaterforLife who just posted today saying he wanted to be a resource for the BH's out there so they can better understand what happened to there M's and how to get their WW's back.

He claims to have seduced many married women in his day, but what I found amusing was his announcement that he has benefited a lot as an OM from the fact that he is a total alpha, who is intelligent, educated, etc......and the first reply back to him included this jewel.

"i never met an alpha that had to declare it."

I laughed so hard at this...because in my life experience it is so true.

Every POSOM I ever met or knew was a total poser....they acted so alpha with WOMEN.....but every time they were faced with an angry male, their 'alpha' traits disappeared like a morning mist on a hot day.

One of my good friends was several times a POSOM in his younger years, and a couple of our close mutual friends told me about a situation that occurred during that time.....he never told me about it cause I had always told him I hoped a BH would beat his a** one day to teach him a lesson....so needless to say he didn't call me when this went down.

Apparently, a BH found out about his WW's A with my friend and called him up super angry and made some threats against him.

Now my friend, to this day, always carries himself in a c*cky and confident manner...he's almost a parody of the alpha stereotype...and yes, many women seem to eat it up.

But this situation reveals the real him.

The mutual friends told me that he got really belligerent and mouthy back with the BH, and dared him to show up and do something.....but this is where his true nature comes out.

He calls up our 2 mutual friends and says he is in an emergency and needs them to come over ASAP.

When they arrive....he answers the door (after verifying it was them by shouting) holding his shotgun....and inside his living room he has actually constructed a barricade of his recliners and his couch.

Our friends ask him what the h*ll is going on and he relates the phone call and asks them to stay over for a couple hours because he is really worried that the other guy meant it....he was SO pissed and only got even angrier after 'Mr. Alpha' popped off daring him to do something.

To his credit....my friend has changed...hasn't been A POSOM in over 15 years now that any of us are aware of.

But he still does have this annoying habit of playing the 'alpha'.

I always take pleasure in reminding him what a bullsh*t mask it is when he gets annoying with it or tries to play that crap with me....he is SO conflict avoidant when actually called out by someone.

And I have never known a POSOM who was any different.

IMO....'alpha' men do not sneak around in the shadows chasing other men's W's....they have no need to cause they can get attention from all the single women they want.

With POSOM's its all an act.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

A lot of these guys are narcissists.

I know guys with a kocky swagger. Many women feel these men are very approachable because of it. Like an outgoing friendly attractive women is to a reserved man.

I think women can mistake kocky for confident. How strong is a confident man?

A naturally Alpha man is very masculine but his personality is not so finite.

Its not as 2 dimensionally monolithic as its often portrayed, and they are not all horn dogs.

Now the stereotype for Narcissistic POS's however is fairly uniform.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Decorum said:


> A lot of these guys are narcissists.
> 
> I know guys with a kocky swagger. Many women feel these men are very approachable because of it. Like an outgoing friendly attractive women is to a reserved man.
> 
> ...


How do you make a bully run don't back down.
Example
A writer for the american free press Mike Piper sees the leader of the ADF Abe Foxman at a restaurant years ago in D.C
Abe has ripped him to shreds in the press, back to point.
Mike goes over and says hi and introduces himself and extends his hand to shake...
Abe leaves in a hurry.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

They just need to read MMSLP and grow a pair, right?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

One group's alpha is another group's douchecanoe.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

MountainRunner said:


> They just need to read MMSLP and grow a pair, right?


Thats very Alpha of you. scratch scratch scratch...:lol:


MMSLP is a good tool to help someone find their edge again and understand women and attraction.

I am not a bad ass alpha dude, I am an enlightened (formerly passive aggressive) nice guy now armed with wit and a fearless determination to be frank.

But some of the people I have worked with were natural alpha types who had a complete absence of self doubt, performed at high levels and though it was easy for everyone to do the same. Know any like that? Masculine, confident but not A.holes.

Some had misspent youth ha ha but now as fathers and husbands they were rock solid. These were friends mostly from work, we hunted, fished, shout firearms, etc. Good times!

Decent men who would stand their ground but did not swagger or act like jerks. ( I have moved out of state so its like starting over)

Someone who is skilled at cheating, nothing to be proud of.
I have been in and out of prisons all over the country, ha ha ha as a visitor and volunteer with an organization not as an inmate. 

I will say this many of the real perverts in prison want to talk about their sick interests, and they think everyone else does too, but (they believe) these others are just to afraid of other peoples opinion to do it. Really! The perverts think they are intellectually honest in this, its the damnedest thing.

That is how degraded and seared their conscience is.

Need I say more?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Any loser that beds a married woman isn't very high on the alpha scale as far as I am concerned.

Funny story about your pvssy friend. &#55357;&#56842;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

I think Decorum's description is pretty spot on.

I knew a lot of guys who fit that mold during my time as an officer in the Navy.

Confident and capable....as rock solid dependable as dawn arriving on the next day.

Honest and direct....usually on the blunt side but without being an a**hole about it.

And one thing in addition....no 'swagger' or 'braggadocio' at all....but very little tolerance for the insults or injuries of others....generally they were relatively mild mannered and civil guys, but watch out when you pushed them too far.

As the poster on LS said, they never had to declare it, either through words or attitude/swagger.

They let their actions speak for them.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> I think Decorum's description is pretty spot on.
> 
> I knew a lot of guys who fit that mold during my time as an officer in the Navy.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree:
YES


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Mr wonderful my stbx left for is one of these self proclaimed "alphas". He boasts and brags constantly about all the conquests. His whole act is based on taking other men's women. That's his "alpha" trip and views as he is more manly because he took what was yours. 

He loves the conflict and the more a guy fights to get his spouse back the more he boasts. He doesn't care if he gets beat up. He has had his cars valdalized, his house damaged. He doesn't seem to care. 

No one can remember the last time he dated a single woman. Its always married ones and somehow after all these years he still finds them. 

For him its not the sex or soulmate silliness, its all about what he views as being more of a man than the other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Mr wonderful my stbx left for is one of these self proclaimed "alphas". He boasts and brags constantly about all the conquests. His whole act is based on taking other men's women. That's his "alpha" trip and views as he is more manly because he took what was yours."

I've always told my friends this.....if you want to know who the true alpha in a group of guys is, DO NOT make that judgement on the fawning of women in the area.....they often don't have a real clue about it....just as I'm sure that there are things that women understand about inter-female group dynamics that I and most other guys remain confused and somewhat clueless about.

Watch who the guys truly show respect to....cause in any group of males there is a single one or a select few that are ALWAYS treated with respect and civility....THOSE are the guys.

And its NEVER the braggarts and the obnoxious a**hats....those guys don't get respect from other men....they are generally despised as buffoons...even if they have women fawning over them.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> And its NEVER the braggarts and the obnoxious a**hats....those guys don't get respect from other men....they are generally despised as buffoons...even if they have women fawning over them.


True enough. It really has little to do with being "alpha". Women don't cheat because they ran into an alpha male. I'll likely get my azz handed to me with this but women tend to focus more on what they are missing rather than what they have. Men who chase married women have learned how to exploit it.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> I think Decorum's description is pretty spot on.
> 
> I knew a lot of guys who fit that mold during my time as an officer in the Navy.
> 
> ...


This is a good description of a civilized alpha personality. Pack and individual behavior is richer than single particular stereotype. Clearly there are plenty of people in power who are by definition alpha due to their proven record in subjugating an entire group to be under them. They can turn out to be manipulative and sociopathic. These characteristics made them tough in the primal struggle. Whether or not the seduce other men's wives is not a moral question for them.

By the same token some military leaders don't mind ordering the deaths of enemies or even their own followers. Their genes must go on, not the genes of men who are sacrificed.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> I occasionally read a little on other websites to hear different views on how infidelity impacts M's and families as well as how it should be dealt with.
> 
> I mention this because there is a guy over on Loveshack right now named CheaterforLife who just posted today saying he wanted to be a resource for the BH's out there so they can better understand what happened to there M's and how to get their WW's back.
> 
> ...


I saw it too man. The guy is a button pusher. Kind of contradictory to be claiming to help people whilst claiming to continue said behavior.

Personally thought it was a troll. But someone else said something about narcissism which is true in this case troll or not.

Alpha male is shtick. Everybody hurts, everybody can be vulnerable. It's a matter of confidence, that's all.


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

I disagree with the alpha notion. It is contradictory. My question is whether these so called "alphas" acted that way around other men in the presence of these women? I don't think any did. They didn't out alpha the husband in front of the wife and take the wife. That's my issue with thee whole alpha myth.

These dudes were charmers. Most likely they tried with a bunch of women, got shot down a lot and then hit pay dirt. The formula to get any one is to compliment, engage, solicit, and escalate. Nothing alpha there. 

A "'real"' alpha competes openly. Sneaking in, being secretive and talking crap to a bunch of women with no male competition is not viewed as dominant behavior.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

lol, I had a thread here one time. In the off topic section about alpha's and making fun of the whole thingy. I've never thought, like "Alpha" Beta, delta or whatever. I mean.... It seems very fratboyish and stuff, lol. 

I guess you can either pull chicks or you can't. I guess. I do believe in the terms player and pick up artist. And there is a difference between a player and PUA. But that's really about it. You can either play the game well or not. It doesn't make you more "alpha", lol. Dafuq. It's just the game baby! The game is the game, lol. 

*And I think the majority of men can learn to become a player and many can learn to be a PUA.* 

Any guy can do it! It just takes practice, lol. 

But I do get a kick out of the whole, this is an alpha male, this is not. This is alpha. This is not, and so forth and so forth. It's just so frat boy and juvenile. It's hilarious. 


Now... As far as cheating POS. Well.... Cheaters cheat cause they want. They're jerks.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

I agree Dyoke. Real alphas can have their pick of single women. Why go after married ones ? Alpha on the outside, beta on the inside. I have seen many an alpha-like POSOM get torn up and others who didn't get criminally charged or get their karma another way. They deserved every bit of it


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

What POSOM's are who happen to be serial cheaters or who targeted the married women really are happens to be good hunters. Good like in baseball. Maybe the hit about .300, but that means they miss like 70%. The ones they hit are cheaters.

You can tell an insecure wife that she's awesome but she's not gonna cheat, if she's not a cheater. BTW, women use the same crap on men. If you've ever had a woman put the moves on you knowing that you were married, what stopped you? You weren't a cheater, that's what.

If you believe in Alpha wolves, that is fine, cause they exist. Watch animal planet. If you believe that Alpha men pull wives of other men, stop watching 80's teen films and wake up.

Like in baseball, the man who hits is the one who swings. Even still, the best HR guys usually had a high strike out percentage. If you are not pulling, you are not swinging. Nothing to do with Alpha, everything to do with playing the game.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> He claims to have seduced many married women in his day, but what I found amusing was his announcement that he has benefited a lot as an OM from the fact that he is a total alpha, who is intelligent, educated, etc......and the first reply back to him included this jewel.
> 
> "i never met an alpha that had to declare it."
> 
> ...



I agree with this. If a man has to seek constant/public validation and praise of his alpha-ness by bragging about his money, body, style, ability to pull chicks, athleticism, MMA skills, etc....he's usually a poser with low self esteem. Like Napoleon Dynamite! Everyone knows at least one of this type of guy. And I'm not being sexist. There is definitely a female version too.

The truly alpha men are so alpha they don't need to tell he world. Actions speak louder than words.


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

I'm so Alpha that when I pee, I pee in the center of the bowl to assert my dominance over the water.

Yeah.

:rofl:

Seriously though? I agree with about everyone here. The real man in charge is the one getting quiet respect from the group.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Lone Shadow said:


> I'm so Alpha that when I pee, I pee in the center of the bowl to assert my dominance over the water.
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> ...


Except that by proclaiming it here, I wonder if you actually just sit when you pee...LOL

Maybe there should be "I'm so alpha" jokes like they have "Your momma" or Chuck Norris jokes?


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

Bunch of insecure old babies, they are only 'alpha' until the husband calls. xOM emailed angry letters to my wife because she told the truth to his wife (his wife called to meet), i called him back and never got any call back. It was silent until his lawyer told me and my wife not to contact him and his wife ever again. Such brave alpha, hiding behind his lawyer's skirt


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Daniel. said:


> Bunch of insecure old babies, they are only 'alpha' until the husband calls. xOM emailed angry letters to my wife because she told the truth to his wife (his wife called to meet), i called him back and never got any call back. It was silent until *his lawyer told me and my wife not to contact him and his wife ever again.* Such brave alpha, hiding behind his lawyer's skirt


Hmm... was his wife w/ him on that?


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

honcho said:


> No one can remember the last time he dated a single woman. Its always married ones and somehow after all these years he still finds them.
> 
> For him its not the sex or soulmate silliness, its all about what he views as being more of a man than the other.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sounds like he is afraid of commitment, he purposely goes after women that he can't have a future with because he probably can't handle a relationship.

Women are attracted to confidence and guys that act "alpha" appear confident to them, even if its fake. The trick is not being scared of everything or everyone and taking charge of your own life. That's about as alpha as you need to be and women are just as attracted to that as they are to the guys that put on an act.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Hes afraid of commitment, afraid of being hurt, afraid to be vulnerable. These are the kind of clowns that have the "iron curtain" built around them. They hurt and use people so they won't hurt or face there own demons in my opinion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

In my opinion, after everything that has happened to me, Alpha means nothing.

All that matters is SELF RESPECT. Enough respect for one's self that you can stand up for yourself and say "I'm not putting up with that sh*t, get out". 

The same goes for men who cheat with married women.

It matters not whether a man is Alpha or Beta, Black or White, Big or Small. It's al about self respect and conduct in society.


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## cgiles (Dec 10, 2014)

poida said:


> In my opinion, after everything that has happened to me, Alpha means nothing.
> 
> All that matters is SELF RESPECT. Enough respect for one's self that you can stand up for yourself and say "I'm not putting up with that sh*t, get out".


It's the NMMNG's spirit : don't try to be what you are not, just respect yourself and accept you are the one in charge of your life, happyness and pleasure.

Once you reached that, you are much more attractive, because you don't need to be someone, you want to be someone.


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

yeah_right said:


> Except that by proclaiming it here, I wonder if you actually just sit when you pee...LOL
> 
> Maybe there should be "I'm so alpha" jokes like they have "Your momma" or Chuck Norris jokes?


Damn! My secret is out.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I hate the "alpha"/"Beta" thing but will say - I've known people who have cheated on their significant other and the OM couldn't hold a candle to their partner in a lot of aspects. 

Same thing with the OW.


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Hi Jelly! 

I may be way off base, but I think that when it comes to betraying a SO, it has nothing to do with alpha/beta nonsense. Nor does it have anything to do with the character of the person being betrayed in comparison to the POS that the wayward is cheating with.

It's all about respect. When your partner loses respect for you, they lose respect for the sanctity of your relationship. Once that happens, it's only a matter of time before they step outside the relationship.

You could the next best thing to God on earth, but if your partner loses respect for you, for whatever reason, the fat lady has sung.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> I hate the "alpha"/"Beta" thing but will say - I've known people who have cheated on their significant other and the OM couldn't hold a candle to their partner in a lot of aspects.
> 
> Same thing with the OW.



Jellybeans, I couldn't agree more with the alpha/beta crap. I think it's made up nonsense so men or women can feel better about themselves because they are fake. My WW fell for the compliments of a player that thought he was alpha. The worst part of the entire act of infidelity is that my WW ACCEPTED his advances. She has a brain, didn't use it well, but she decides who she will sleep with and who she won't. To say a woman flocks to an alpha is ridiculous, that woman has a brain and she will also decide who she sleeps with. Lone shadow is correct about respect, but still the woman will decide who she wants to share her body with. 

I showed my WW how much of a coward her AP is and she was shocked. I am a very quiet man and rarely have outbursts or screaming fits, with a simple monotone voice her AP became a complete coward. I am no better then anyone else, I have my values and morals that I live by. I hold myself accountable for my actions and try to be the best person I can be. I don't believe I am more alpha or beta then the next person, it's the standard that I live by that may be different. I help my neighbors, friends, family, and strangers with anything I can help them with. That is how my parents raised me to be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

The alpha/beta debate as so often presented here is indeed something of a parody.

This is primarily because it is misunderstood and over simplified by people who do not truly understand what psychologists mean on the subject.

For one thing, though psychologists do classify behaviors and characteristics into these categories, they never claim they are a 'box' that totally encapsulates a whole person.

In other words, these traits exist to varying degrees in all men....no one is a 'pure' anything, and all men will display traits from all of the categories from time to time.

But as a matter of personality or coincidence, men will tend to have a bias or leaning towards some particular traits...that 'type' of trait will be dominant in their personality.

But in the pop culture of non-experts, this simple classification of behavior types become some sort of rigid box or framework that completely defines a person.

Perhaps it is some lame attempt to match or meet this pop stereotype that leads some men to act or play a role....to match the stereotype almost to the point of caricature.

The entire reason this subject struck me as funny, is because all of the guys I have ever known who showed a true bias in their behavior towards traits psychologists classify as 'alpha' are NOTHING like the stereotypical braggarts and a**hats....and certainly do nothing to declare or announce their 'alpha-ness'.

It truly is a case that proves the wisdom of Shakespeare's sentiment in the line. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> The alpha/beta debate as so often presented here is indeed something of a parody.


Did someone say parody? *giggle*

I have to be honest...any time I hear "MMSLP" and the like, I always think back to this movie...(warning....somewhat NSFW...language) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnIJxcqSKgY


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

lol....classic MountainRunner....exactly the type of 'act' I'm talking about.

And I would add that another misconception is that 'alpha' traits are classified as 'superior' types of traits.

The reality is that human interactions are very complex and different situations actually call upon an individual to be able to utilize the various types or classifications of behavior.

A man who simply tried to bull through life utilizing nothing but alpha behaviors...ie the stereotype....would not be a very successful one....unless he lived in the lawless and violent 'state of nature' as envisioned by Hobbes or Locke.

Civilization requires the ability to naturally use every behavior classification.

I think the key is what several other posters mentioned....self-respect and the determination to stand up for one's own values and person.


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Hmm... was his wife w/ him on that?


I have no idea, it's just ridiculous that he had to hire a lawyer just for that. He could've just emailed me or texted me but i have never received direct contact from him. Plus the one who initiated contacts were always one of them, first him then his wife then him again. Absurd


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## razgor (May 8, 2014)

LOL, I think we all know posers that think they are big and bad. Women eat that up, some men eat it up and take them at their word. A lot of men just think they are full of $hit. I always think of that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie - "True Lies". With the fake spy, lol. 

The whole Alpha thing is really used in context with women. It is a lot easier to "show off" to group a woman. Some guys confuse scoring with girls as being manly. It takes a lot more to earn respect from men.

When things get physical between men the whole beta/alpha thing don't matter. I know some scary betas. And I know some workplace "alphas" that would crap their pants if confronted by another angry man ready to pound their face in. I don't care how alpha you think you are, in the real world there is always someone that can knock you on your butt.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Great post razgor.

I agree 100%.

And I had forgotten about that character in True Lies....lol....but you are exactly right....perfect example.

I especially love the part where Arnold's character asks him about the BH's and he says:

"D*ckless...lets face it...if they were taking care of business, I'd be out of business."

Then to see him wet his pants crying a few scenes later is classic.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

POSOM are cowards. Not just in the confrontational sense but in the emotional sense as well. They are scared sh!tless of entrusting their hearts to women for fear that the women will betray them, so they instead opt for a married woman's emotional crumbs. A pathetic bunch overall.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> POSOM are cowards. Not just in the confrontational sense but in the emotional sense as well. They are scared sh!tless of entrusting their hearts to women for fear that the women will betray them, so they instead opt for a married woman's emotional crumbs. A pathetic bunch overall.


Uhhh... it's probably safe to say that -- in the majority of cases -- it's the BH that's getting the crumbs.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Uhhh... it's probably safe to say that -- in the majority of cases -- it's the BH that's getting the crumbs.


Most affairs end when they are exposed, so where's "the loaf of bread" for the OM from the WW then?

ETA: Not even crumbs and whatever piece of a$$ they get from WW is often minimal at best.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Actually, you know what.

I wish I had confronted the OM now. 

Didn't care less at the time, but I think it is important now.

For me, it was part of self respect.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> Most affairs end when they are exposed, so where's "the loaf of bread" for the OM from the WW then?
> 
> ETA: Not even crumbs and whatever piece of a$$ they get from WW is often minimal at best.


Eh... maybe. Either way, I figured we were discussing the pre-exposure portion of affairs.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

poida said:


> Actually, you know what.
> 
> I wish I had confronted the OM now.
> 
> ...


I did what I could via Facebook. Anything more than that would've required a passport and a plane ticket, at which point the phrases "pre-meditated", "with intent", and/or "with malice aforethought" start coming out.

D**chebag actually deleted his FB profile.

What a p*ssy.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

In my case and I don't suggest anyone doing this, my wife was cheating. I found out and the marriage ended. Fair enough and I went on my way. 

I was self employed and one day I see a guy in a truck across the road from where I'm working for about an hour watching me and then he comes over and I figure out that he's the OM. He wanted to let me know that he won't come between me and my kid. I told him to get lost and worry about his own wife and kids. Then he got ****y.

he starts showing up at my job site with his co workers and the all have fun making comments. At the same time, I get a phone call from his wife asking about her husband and my wife and we meet to talk and met a few times and then I let her know what he's doing with his buddies coming up to my job site and one thing leads to another and next thing you know were in bed. Then it happened again and a third time before we both decided to stop. 

She worked it out with her husband and for the longest time anytime he saw me he gave me a smile like he got one over on me and that was back in the early 90's and to this day he still has no idea that I know a bout her cute little tattoo on her bottom. Alpha man thinks he's the man and I hate to tell him that he ain't so Alpha but close to Zulu.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

6301 said:


> In my case and I don't suggest anyone doing this, my wife was cheating. I found out and the marriage ended. Fair enough and I went on my way.
> 
> I was self employed and one day I see a guy in a truck across the road from where I'm working for about an hour watching me and then he comes over and I figure out that he's the OM. He wanted to let me know that he won't come between me and my kid. I told him to get lost and worry about his own wife and kids. Then he got ****y.
> 
> ...


LOL. Sorry, but I'd have to tell him.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> LOL. Sorry, but I'd have to tell him.



....I agree. It'd be comparable to taking a dump on his Alpha cornflakes.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

6301,

Every time your story comes up, I get a smile on my face.

The perfect payback on a poser POS.

While I certainly understand the desire to tell him, and how it would be SO tempting, I totally understand why you don't.

But your discretion benefits the OBS since she did stay with the a**wipe.

You couldn't expose without hurting her life.

IF the POSOM ever cheats on her again though, I hope SHE throws it in his face while kicking him out on his a**.

Now THAT would be a classic scene to witness if it ever goes down....I would pay for tickets and popcorn.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> LOL. Sorry, but I'd have to tell him.


 Problem was, I didn't want to get her in trouble. They had two kids and she wanted to figure out a way to make it work. I also didn't trust the guy and didn't want to run the risk of this bum hitting her or worse. I wasn't worried about him because he needed his buddies to back his sorry ass up when he made his comment.

The best revenge is that he thinks he got one over on me and got away with it. I still see them once in a while and he doesn't give me that smirk any longer..............but she still gives me a smile and he'll never know why.

"Vengeance is mine sayth 6301!"


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> When they arrive....he answers the door (after verifying it was them by shouting) holding his shotgun....and inside his living room he has actually *constructed a barricade of his recliners and his couch.*


This really made me laugh when I pictured the scene. What a chump.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"This really made me laugh when I pictured the scene. What a chump."

Yeah...I know.

The story was that apparently the BH REALLY blew up when my friend dared him to do something....like many BH's he probably said this is a moment of absolute rage, but he finished a diatribe on the phone with the words, "You're dead motherf*cker".

And then the WW texted my friend in a panic saying he was really on a rampage...and scared because he had guns in the house.

Once her heard that, my friend apparently wet his pants and thought the guy was going to be there soon...so he basically 'forted up'.

I never saw it, but my other two friends still laugh about the barricade to this day too.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> Once her heard that, my friend apparently wet his pants and thought the guy was going to be there soon...*so he basically 'forted up'.*
> 
> I never saw it, but *my other two friends still laugh about the barricade* to this day too.


:rofl: :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ....I agree. It'd be comparable to taking a dump on his Alpha cornflakes.


You stay away from my cornflakes.


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

What makes a male animal _alpha_ is not that females of the species are attracted to him but that other males of the species follow him. The term _'alpha male'_ only makes sense if one is talking about species that organize themselves in packs (e.g., wolves, humans). What distinguishes an alpha male of any such species is that he is a leader (What is an Alpha Male?).

Females in such species are genetically programmed to be sexually attracted to males who display leadership qualities, because such males are more likely to be genetically robust. All other things being equal, the more powerful the leader, the stronger the sexual attraction. In many species, this means that the alpha male will impregnate a large percentage of the females of the pack. In human societies, which often have rules designed to increase societal cohesion that discourage or at least limit polygamy, it means that alphas will have a better chance of mating with physically attractive women.

However, given the complexity of human behavior, there is not a perfect correlation between sexual attraction and _true alpha maleness_ (to coin a phrase). Women are also attracted to the physical and behavioral qualities that alpha males typically display. Hence, chiseled jaws, deep voices, athletic prowess, sartorial splendor and even driving the right kind of vehicle will arouse female interest in men who don't lead so much as one other man.

It is certainly true that the typical OM is a lot less alpha than a Bill Clinton, Tom Brady or Richard Branson, but what matters in a marriage is how the W perceives her H compared to a potential OM. Based on numerous TAM/CWI threads, it seems that the OM often displayed more traits associated with alphaness than the BH at the time the WW decided to cheat. While, in such cases, it might make a BH feel better about himself to think that the OM is not _really_ more alpha than he, the BH would have been a lot better off had he upped his alpha traits in his WW's eyes before she stepped out on him.

And don't kid yourselves, true alpha males are as prone to cheating as other men and have much more opportunity to do so. Thus, in all likelihood, they cheat a lot more than ordinary men. If this is not apparent, it is probably because they are less likely to be caught because they don't become emotionally entangled with their adultery partners as often, and their money and power makes it easier for them to hide their affairs. Think of the Old Testament character, King David, who would never have been caught if God, himself, hadn't outed him.

I agree that the words _"alpha"_ and _"beta"_ are often over- or misused. However, any married man who is oblivious to their meaning or who doesn't consider from time to time where he stands on the alpha-beta spectrum is asking for trouble.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"What makes a male animal alpha is not that females of the species are attracted to him but that other males of the species follow him. The term 'alpha male' only makes sense if one is talking about species that organize themselves in packs (e.g., wolves, humans). What distinguishes an alpha male of any such species is that he is a leader"

I agree 100%

And I agree...'alpha' males can be cheaters as well.

But they are not openly flaunting it if they are....because THAT information would undermine their status with other males that you cited above.

Men, for the most part, DESPISE rather than respect men who poach on the wives and partners of other males....I can think of no better way for a guy to lose that 'leadership' role he has amongst his male peers and social group that to get labeled a POSOM.

The braggarts and a**wipes simply do not have the role that your post mentions....they are viewed by other guys as pathetic morons at best.

Men who have to 'announce' their alpha-ness, especially by citing their ability to seduce other guys WW's, are posers...pure and simple.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Men do not despise a thief that steals to feed his hunger. 
Though if he is caught, he will have to pay a ransom. 

But adultery shows a lack of control. 
And arouses a husband's fury. 

And when he takes his revenge, no quarter will be given. 
And no one can blame him. 

And I stole most of that from the Bible. I think...


I wish I could meet the OM my mom met. 
And learn what kind of man he is...


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> "What makes a male animal alpha is not that females of the species are attracted to him but that other males of the species follow him. The term 'alpha male' only makes sense if one is talking about species that organize themselves in packs (e.g., wolves, humans). What distinguishes an alpha male of any such species is that he is a leader"
> 
> I agree 100%
> 
> ...


The bragging wannabe are viewed as pathetic by most men. Course the wannabe is usually too oblivious and wrapped up in bragging they don't realize what a joke they are. People are laughing at them, not with them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

carmen ohio said:


> What makes a male animal _alpha_ is not that females of the species are attracted to him but that other males of the species follow him. The term _'alpha male'_ only makes sense if one is talking about species that organize themselves in packs (e.g., wolves, humans). What distinguishes an alpha male of any such species is that he is a leader (What is an Alpha Male?).


Very good and salient point Carmen. I manage a service center and supervise a dozen field techs. I've been doing so for almost ten years now. I support my men and they "know" I have their back. they "know" I won't have them do anything that they haven't seen me do already (climb towers and hang gear 300ft up, low crawl a basement to run cable, bushwhack scrub in rough terrain to locate a buried cable...etc). I have a great crew, I've hired them all and outside consultants who follow up with customers consistently submit positive feedback for my department. My "director"...heh...well that's a different story...

I like the guy. He's a "nice guy"...but he couldn't make a tough decision if his life depended upon it. In fact, often...I'm the one telling him what the company "needs" to do. I know his wife as she is the HR Director and she is more "alpha" than he is.

Anyway...I chafe at the bit as I see my "director" sit there and do nothing regarding the various departments he "directs" because...he does nothing. I would be cleaning house if I were him as I see much room for improvement within my company. I find it "difficult" to "follow" him...Whereas with my men...We're a team. They know I have their back...and I "know" they have mine.


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