# Seperated now for 3 weeks - Question about MC



## TheRobber (Jun 16, 2012)

I have "enjoyed" learning a new perspective about this topic of separation from all of you and the forum. although I wish, like many, I didn't need this information~
Quick background W and I have been married for 19 years. We have two boys ages 10 and 15, Marriage per my W have been slowly going down hill, she says for the last 10 years, I have a hard time feeling that it has been that long anyhow, I do know we have fallen out of love. She told me that we needed to separate. I fought that Idea for two month when we both decided it was the best idea 3 weeks ago. I left only for the point of giving us both time to reflect. I didn't leave after a huge argument and storm out...basically I didn't want to leave but I said I would if she would go to consoling with me - She agreed and I left. We still talk and if it is anything but our relationship we can talk and laugh all day long. I have read what our MC has suggested and I have learned alot about me and what I haven't done in our marriage. I'm no expert but I so want to show my new found love and feeling too my wife. She not so much...but I try to give her the needed space but still show her my feelings.
The problem I have (among the obvious) last week after meeting with the MC together he pulls out a statistic that says we should be separated for 3-6 months with 6 months preferred??? By the time frame comes around we should have no emotional feeling or need for each other and then we should decide if we want to get back together.....I cant see this at all? I feel like this is telling someone they have 3 to 6 months to live and then they live for 3 years....We have only been to the MC a total of 2 times together and two time one on one. My W says this is what he told her and it was not what she stated that she wanted. But she is good with it. Now to me his advise seems rather unprofessional. My W and I have not been apart for more then a week until now and we we argued we may have not talked for a day or two at any given time. These 3 weeks already feel like 3 months to me. What are your opinions on his suggestion and my path?


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

My suggestion is to not fight it if your wife seems to want it. You will be suprised how trivial some of the stuff will become in both your minds after a couple months time.


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

One thing that Ive learned from so much researching about my own feelings is that if a person loves you or is going to love you, it doesnt matter the timeframe they spent apart. If you love her as you say you do, let her go, but dont think about the time frame.....some couples are better as friends than as a couple...specially for your kids.


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