# Sex & hentai



## Maleficent-2784 (10 mo ago)

I’ve been in a car accident 4 years ago and because of that I happen to have issues with my knees ( I can’t run , kneel, or exercise) . Every time that passes I came to the conclusion that my husband prefers his hentai porn than being with me. My self esteem has dropped a lot since then and even I asked him to stop for a little bit until I feel emotionally confident again, he promised me he will stop and not do it because of me , because he loves me . But it’s not only once but a couple of times now than I found out he didn’t dropped it as he said he did . I feel I am not worth no more, I feel unwanted and very unhappy in my marriage. I’m coming to the conclusion that the best solution for us it’s a break up. I need advice I need your help.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Has he stopped or reduced sex and affection with you?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

What kind of knee problems? There are many positions that do not require knees to be bent, if that is an issue.


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## Maleficent-2784 (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Has he stopped or reduced sex and affection with you?


Correct ! I feel he doesn’t desire me like before. Eventually our sexual life reduced by a lot and I noticed every time he feels it he prefers to watch porn or hentai than being with me . In the other hand if he’s with me it’s not like before i feel he uses me to satisfy himself that’s all.


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## Maleficent-2784 (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> What kind of knee problems? There are many positions that do not require knees to be bent, if that is an issue.


Patella Alta problems. It was a point where I couldn’t even walk for a month or so and I gained over 20 lbs. I am looking a 3rd opinion now. First doctor told me I need surgery but I will never be the same anymore and second doctor told me I have no cure to my problem.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

well first of all I'm sorry to hear what all you've been through, its not easy. And you're dealing with a guy who out of his depth emotionally, as to why this happens? I have no clue, some people I guess do not understand what it takes to 'stay' in a marriage. And by that I mean pulling up each other when down. You need to have a sit down with him and talk to him about how you're feeling, don't turn up the emotional dial to 11, but tell him how you're feeling and then ask him to tell you how he is feeling facing this situation as well. If you get an inkling that you can reach some sort of an understanding regarding this issue, an agreement if you will, you can probably work it out. However if you talk past each other with unreasonable expectations of each other, obviously that won't work. Best of Luck.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

well his interest in hentai shows he has a vibrant libido.
and possibly because of your injury and restricted movement, has found it harder to be horny for you.
but considering his intense love of hentai, what have YOU done to stimulate that interest?
Do you have any sexy hentai costumes you can wear, and tease him with. Sailor Moon, Poison Ivy, Japanese Maid uniform...and so on. 
In other words, role play the type of characters he is sexually interested in, and hopefully he will play along (lustfully)

Is there a Comic-con going on nearby that you both can attend, dressed up in your fav characters? that is a low impact activity you should be able to attend.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Do you have kids? If so, what are their ages?


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## Maleficent-2784 (10 mo ago)

redmarshall said:


> well first of all I'm sorry to hear what all you've been through, its not easy. And you're dealing with a guy who out of his depth emotionally, as to why this happens? I have no clue, some people I guess do not understand what it takes to 'stay' in a marriage. And by that I mean pulling up each other when down. You need to have a sit down with him and talk to him about how you're feeling, don't turn up the emotional dial to 11, but tell him how you're feeling and then ask him to tell you how he is feeling facing this situation as well. If you get an inkling that you can reach some sort of an understanding regarding this issue, an agreement if you will, you can probably work it out. However if you talk past each other with unreasonable expectations of each other, obviously that won't work. Best of Luck.


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## Maleficent-2784 (10 mo ago)

Thank you for your nice words. I appreciate your advice.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

I think we have reached peak beta when men prefer jerking off with cartoons to having sex with women.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> well his interest in hentai shows he has a vibrant libido.
> and possibly because of your injury and restricted movement, has found it harder to be horny for you.
> but considering his intense love of hentai, what have YOU done to stimulate that interest?
> Do you have any sexy hentai costumes you can wear, and tease him with. Sailor Moon, Poison Ivy, Japanese Maid uniform...and so on.
> ...


Not sure she should be encouraging his use of this.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Not sure she should be encouraging his use of this.


that is a question only she can answer.

If she is trying to stop him from using any hentai....that is going to be a much harder direction to go in.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> that is a question only she can answer.
> 
> If she is trying to stop him from using any hentai....that is going to be a much harder direction to go in.


Agreed, but the responsibility is on him to stop.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

if he is shying away from sex, and is using hentai for most of his free time....how is he going to stop? that is like asking an alcoholic to just drink fruit juice from this day forward.

he would probably need sexual addiction counseling just to stop the hentai.
then marriage counseling to solve why the sex frequency is so low.
two long paths, with no guarantee it would succeed at the end.

Wouldn't her trying to role play for a month or so just be a lot easier? As in an experiment to see if the hentai could make the two of them somehow bond together?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> if he is shying away from sex, and is using hentai for most of his free time....how is he going to stop? that is like asking an alcoholic to just drink fruit juice from this day forward.
> 
> he would probably need sexual addiction counseling just to stop the hentai.
> then marriage counseling to solve why the sex frequency is so low.
> ...


A lady I used to know got so fed up with her husband's porn use she gave him a choice. Her or the porn. He stopped just like that after many years because he knew she meant it. 
We can all stop addictions (without counselling) if we choose to, but most won't because their spouses put up with it.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Maleficent-2784 said:


> Patella Alta problems. It was a point where I couldn’t even walk for a month or so and I gained over 20 lbs. I am looking a 3rd opinion now. First doctor told me I need surgery but I will never be the same anymore and second doctor told me I have no cure to my problem.


I don’t know if I can help you deal with your husband’s issues and seems the two of you may need to seek professional counseling. It seems like there is a lot more going on there than your mobility issues. 

But, I would not give up on dealing with what really amounts to a dislocated patella. There are surgeries and rehab that can actually help you regain some of your mobility. While I certainly would not recommend high impact exercises, there are plenty of highly aerobic exercises that do no require impact, rowing for one. Granted a good rowing machine can set you back some $$$, but in the long run it may be great investment for you. And there are great indoor rowing communities out there online. 

Best of luck


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ikaika said:


> I don’t know if I can help you deal with your husband’s issues and seems the two of you may need to seek professional counseling. It seems like there is a lot more going on there than your mobility issues.
> 
> But, I would not give up on dealing with what really amounts to a dislocated patella. There are surgeries and rehab that can actually help you regain some of your mobility. While I certainly would not recommend high impact exercises, there are plenty of highly aerobic exercises that do no require impact, rowing for one. Granted a good rowing machine can set you back some $$$, but in the long run it may be great investment for you. And there are great indoor rowing communities out there online.
> 
> Best of luck


indoor rowing is actually quit hard on the knees!


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Talker67 said:


> indoor rowing is actually quit hard on the knees!


I would suggest aquatic exercises. ..... It was also mentioned earlier that one doctor could do surgery but it would never be the same. But another doctor said nothing could be done. 

These are two very different medical opinions. I would definitely get a third opinion from a very experienced surgeon.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Maleficent-2784 said:


> I’ve been in a car accident 4 years ago and because of that I happen to have issues with my knees ( I can’t run , kneel, or exercise) . Every time that passes I came to the conclusion that my husband prefers his hentai porn than being with me. My self esteem has dropped a lot since then and even I asked him to stop for a little bit until I feel emotionally confident again, he promised me he will stop and not do it because of me , because he loves me . But it’s not only once but a couple of times now than I found out he didn’t dropped it as he said he did . I feel I am not worth no more, I feel unwanted and very unhappy in my marriage. I’m coming to the conclusion that the best solution for us it’s a break up. I need advice I need your help.


I think I understand some of what you may be going through as I have had two sever accidents on my legs that required major surgery (in one accident, they were not sure at first if I would loose a leg). Both required months and months of physical therapy far more than health insurance would pay for. They took an incredible toll on my self-image and confidence. Is there any physical therapy, massage therapy, of naturopathic medicine you can try that might help?

I have found that Niacinamide (not Niacin) has helped greatly for my knees, that deep tissue massage, and that accupuncture also helped other parts of me. What also really helped was lots and lots of time at the gym. If you can't exercise you legs much can you work on your core and your upper body? Exercise is a way of reducing depression and increasing self confidence.

One of the other things that is clear from your post is that you want to blame your husband's porn for some of your self-worth issues. Perhaps, you should talk to him and listen to him to find out if his porn use really is the reason for your self worth issues or if it is an excuse that allows you to be a victim and avoid trying to work on your self-image. Visualization, Affirmations and self-hypnosis are great ways for you to work on improving your self worth.

Changing the subject, if sex is difficult, have you and your H explored Sensate Focus exercises to at least increase the amount of sensual interaction between the two of your?

Cornell University Health guide to Sensate Focus

Good luck.


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