# I need advice..



## RayV (Mar 5, 2012)

Here's my story. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/41281-1-month-separated-today.html#post625309 ok so my wife and I have been separated over a month. We still talk but not about R, more of life and our children. So yesterday she asked me if I would go to her house and be there for the cable man cause she had to work. I said ok whatever. So I'm there and I decide to mess around on the computer to pass time. I am very.. Idk if the word is nosey? So I decide to check her browser history. Everything is normal except there's a online dating site she's been visiting quite often. She was last on it Monday. Her profile said.. "in looking for someone who.." blah blah blah. The history also showed she had private messages from about 20 different users. I didn't dare read them cause I had my heart all the way in my stomach. It's been on my mind all day. We agreed that we would be "friends with benefits " and we are supposed to meet up tomorrow. I want so badly to bring this up to her but something tells me not to. I mean would she really trade me in for some guy she don't even know on the internet ? We've been together off and on 7 years and married almost 5. I've been the only father to her 2 kids who aren't mine along with our 3. Could she really be moving on that quickly? It's been eating at me all day. I'm not saying I was the perfect husband but I deserve more respect than this. It feels like cheating. I still love her with all my heart. But I feel like I'm just not good enough. I need advice. :'( 

Ray
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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sorry to tell you but it looks as if she's moved on especially in light of the fact that R isn't even up for discussion. 

Time to let it go Ray. I'd do the 180 and only deal with her about things related to the kids or the divorce that you are most likely headed for. Do not be available to help her with things like the cable guy! 

You need to let her see what life without you will be like and that you won't be her doormat.

Last but not least, if she's actively seeking out others, do not have sex with her! Why risk an STD?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Maybe she was just passing time, having a look yknow! Maybe something or nothing.
You are seperated and unless you both specifically said no dating others then I suppose it's up to her.
I really don't mean to sound harsh. So please dont take it that way.
If you tell her you looked on her laptop she's gonna be mad I suppose so ur in a difficult situation.
Maybe just have the conversation about dating other people and see how it goes
Good luck
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