# I give up!



## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

I just need to vent to people who can probably relate, or, not...

I've been through a lot with my H - too much!... Cheating, lying, disrespect... The whole 9! My H is passive-aggressive and may even be a narcissist. He never talks about issues, never disagrees or states what he really feels. Instead, he acts out and expects me to forgive and forget when he's ready to act civilized, again. He acts as though he doesn't realize the strain his actions have put on the marriage. So to him, the problems that exist: tension, anger, lack of sex and the lack of feeling connected have nothing to do with all he's done to inflict problem on top of problem on an already unstable situation.

Yesterday, I realized just how tired I am of feeling worthless, insecure and disrespected based on his actions. I realized I'm tired of being his safe haven! I never disrespect him! I've never lied or cheated on him and realize my loyalty to my family has allowed me to be trampled on! I think it's only by the grace of God that I haven't lost my mind! 

So, I asked for a divorce. I'm at a lost for solutions! I'm a nice looking woman. I keep myself up and I hit the gym a few times a week. Our home is always clean and our child is taken care of. I work full time and don't ask for much. I buy sexy outfits and have consistently tried to add spice to our bedroom. Yet, he still chooses to act out! I've concluded, the problem lies within him and it's not my job to continue trying to fix a broken soul. it's definitely time to put an expiration date on this mess of a relationship and find myself, again.

Thanks for reading.


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## DiscretePete69 (Apr 28, 2015)

I applaud you for making up your mind here. It sounds like you have been through a lot and have given him many chances. To put up with all that and still try to keep him happy in the bedroom is amazing. I wish my wife was like that! Good for you and stand your ground!


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## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

You are right, you cannot fix what is broken inside him. It sounds like he needs some counseling. I'm in the same situation, and am on my way out!!


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

Cheating, lying, and disrespect.

Hmmm...to me, that's a no-brainer. I respect that you tried to make the marriage work, for your child and the family. That takes a lot of strength and courage. But always remember to put your own health, sanity, wellbeing and peace at the top of the list, whenever you are faced with a decision.


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## Blonde (Jan 7, 2013)

If I was you, I would make sure to get IC to work on your "man picker" before getting into another relationship. The broken parts in you thought the broken parts in him were a good match. If you don't heal your broken parts you will just pick badly again. 

If I was your mom, I would be proud of you for being strong enough and seeing clearly enough to end this early before a lifetime of pain. Cheaters don't reform IME. My H cheated 7 years in, 26 years in, and 32 years in. I regret not ending it after the first infidelity.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Are you married to my husband (STBXH, now), too? I always wondered if he had a whole other family somewhere else...

I was where you are two years ago, and told him it seemed clear that he had had enough of me and wanted to move on (he was disrespectful - downright mean, really), distant, obviously resentful, didn't want to go with me to any of my family functions or go on anymore vacations together, etc. I talked with him about it, and like an idiot let him decide for me that we could work it out for the sake of our child and family. He was better for a while, but drifted before long back into Resentful Mode. He ended up cheating on me starting last September, at 24 years. He is leaving me, now, for her.

I should have kicked his @$$ out two years ago. I'd be in a much better place right now than I am. But I'm getting there - it's just harder with that much more water under the bridge.

Good for you for doing what I wasn't brave enough to do at the time!


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## nora HUSO (May 5, 2015)

Hi, I read your post and I am fascinate about your story. You still in love sinds 9 years and you found the strength to leave him. You had completely reason because cheating, lying and disrespect are not tolerable. In spite of your child, you had taken the good decision. I hoop your child will understand why you are divorced. But, personally I think you made the good choice. Keep going to sport and take care of you and your child. I hoop that you will meet the man Alpha


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