# Any men have a hard time reaching orgasms?



## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

I am curious if there are any men who have had problems reaching orgasms? 

My husband who is in his early 50's started having this problem a couple of years ago. He has an erection and is able to perform but sometimes he just can not go over the edge. Or sometimes he has what we call a dry orgasm - where it feels like a small orgasm but no squirt. Any advice. 

He has been checked out medically and the doctors say he is fine. Is this something that happens with age?


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Dunno what to tell ya mary. The only time I have "trouble" orgasming is when the Mrs. and I have sex too much for too long (more then 5 days in a row, 2X per day, etc). It then takes me progressively longer and longer to the point it's just not "fun" anymore. 

Other then those times, I'm pretty regular via the amount of time it takes.


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

*Sort of, not a problem*

I'll step up to the plate and say that I have trouble reaching full orgasms since I started a medicine that improves my walking. It has been on the market since April or May, it is not an antidepressant. The medicine is Rx, dispensed only by neurologists at this time.

In return for not having full blown (sorry) orgasms, I am much more sensitive across my entire body; nibbling, biting and caressing body parts other than my penis causes a lot of intense mini-orgasms and I'll stay hard for > 30 minutes, sometimes an hour while receiving a BJ. There's also a possibility I'm having reverse flow where seminal fluid goes into the bladder, not a dangerous condition.

All in all this is a lot of fun, a tradeoff I'm happy to accept.

Wish I knew what would happen if we ever have intercourse, but I think I'll be gone long before my wife recovers from whatever health issues she has dealt with for over two years.

I believe that taking longer to orgasm is associated with men growing older - I'm 61.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Age could be a factor.

Is this situation true for all sexual things he does with you and alone?


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Hi Mary-My man has a lot of trouble in this dept. For about the past yr. He is 45 and an alcoholic. Won't go to a doc, so sex ain't all that great for him, and I feel like it may be me even though he claims not.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

don't hold me to this...but I read taking Zinc supplements will increase the semen volume....I started a few days ago and my wife who doesn't know anything about me doing this stated last night that "you let out ALOT".... might want to try it...


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

I have heard this happens with age. It definately takes allot more work to get me "over the top" as you put it. 

The important thing is to not make a big deal of it. He is probably enjoying it regardless or he would likely avoid sex. A man's ability to perform is part of him being a man. Let him know it is no big deal to you. Again, he probably loves pleasing you and who are you from denying him that priveledge/pleasure. Regardless if results in him "completing". Take advantage of the 1,2 or 3 times a night if he is up for it. Make it a positive. Many wives would be jealous. 

If he really needs a "release" you may want to see if one of those plug in toys would work on him. You may also want to try some foreplay on him. I know when I am aroused/teased for a while i develop a quicker "triger". 

Good luck.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Thanks everyone!

I don't make a big deal about it! It has made us more adventurous in finding ways to help him go over the top. It usually takes more vigorous alternatives rather than vaginal penetration. He seldom is able to cum inside of me anymore. I miss that. I am not frustrated as he makes sure to take care of me. 

He is not on any medications. He is pretty healthy, about 20 lbs overweight, doesn't smoke or drink. 

A lot of foreplay does not help - it always seems to take a lot of effort no matter what. Honestly - I don't think early 50's is that old. Will it get worse? 

Guess it's a good thing we are empty nesters and have more time on our hands. lol


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## keethytheseeker (Dec 1, 2012)

I get very hard when I touch my wife's naked body.We masturbate each other. After five minutes she asks me to enter her. After another ten minutes she orgasms. I can't take my eyes from her face as she comes. I don't come. After a while I become aware my weight on her is making her hot and uncomfortable. I withdraw. She masturbates me some more. Her hand gets tired. I masturbate while looking between her open legs. Sometimes I come; often not. I am still hard though. In the bathroom I fantasise about a group of friends we sometimes go on holiday with. There are three unattached women. I wonder if I could visit them all in the night and satisfy them before I would either come, or drop with exhaustion. I am 68 years old, so it's possibly ageing. I don't worry about it. It's no problem as long as I can watch my wife's face as I give her pleasure.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Its takes me lomer as I age and sometime I don't orgasm.

I'm 46 and in good health HWP. growing old is a bi*ch.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

It not only for women so get a hitachi magic wand [LUBE IT UP AND HIM] and play with it on him until you know what works and where usually the head with pressure and of course use it on yourself .

You can have intercousrse for awhile,then [HJ/BJ ] until you get tired and finsih him off with the wand]


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've had hard times reaching orgasms, even keeping it up from time to time with my wife (she was rather demanding in the bedroom). I resorted to tuna cans for the protein rush, it helps for some reason. Protein helps heal/rejuvenate I guess.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I am 58 and in good health (not overweight, run 3X a week, normal BP, etc.) and I find that I take longer than I used to. My wife is fairly quick, so she usually goes first then we use a position that is good for me. There have been occasions that I have not been able to go. I really feel that, as a circumcised male, the sensitivity of the glans has diminished over time. Recently I have been doing research on foreskin restoration and have begun a program to accomplish this. (If curious, Google NORM). I am beginning to restore the sensitivity only after one month. The only way I can describe it is the difference between using a condom and not using a condom.


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## Pravius (Dec 12, 2012)

Here we go! 

I am 30 years old and sometimes will have this issue. It can be caused from a number of things but mainly it happens because of the medication I take. I am horney as hell, hard, pre cum flows, but no big pop. I feel like I want to but my penis is just numb and I have a hard time getting over the edge. 

This will also happen if I have too much sex too fast as an above poster said but my wife and I have not done that since we first met. (I wish!) 

It can also happen to me if I sense that my wife is not enjoying the experience. Sometimes my wife will have sex with me to appease me. Basically letting me go to town on her while she lays there and waits for me to finish. I am not a big fan of this and often because I feel pressured to finish I cannot. It's basically like she is just waiting for me to burst, like watching a pot of water start to boil. I can't do it under pressure. 

I would imagine his issue though is age, I do know that with age it can become harder and harder to go. There are also some instances where I just cannot get off too, like hand jobs will never get me off unless I do it to myself, blowjobs are hard too but possible, sex is really one of the only for sure ways for me to pop.

Hope this helps a little!


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

romantic_guy said:


> I am 58 and in good health (not overweight, run 3X a week, normal BP, etc.) and I find that I take longer than I used to. My wife is fairly quick, so she usually goes first then we use a position that is good for me. There have been occasions that I have not been able to go. I really feel that, as a circumcised male, the sensitivity of the glans has diminished over time. Recently I have been doing research on foreskin restoration and have begun a program to accomplish this. (If curious, Google NORM). I am beginning to restore the sensitivity only after one month. The only way I can describe it is the difference between using a condom and not using a condom.


I have not gone that route yet but will consider it. I decided to break with that barbaric tradition and not circumcise my boys. It might not make much of a difference when they are 20, but they will appreciate it when they older. Most people just can't get it through their heads that it is there for a reason and have been conditioned to believe it is more aesthetically appealing without it. 

You can tell them 75% of the nerve endings are located in the for skin and they just don't care. How many billions does big pharma make each year off this travesty ?

Hopefully one day it will require informed consent.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I did not mean to hijack the thread by mentioning circumcision but only mentioned it because it may be part of the problem. Maybe it would be a good post in the men's forum.


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## Tango (Sep 30, 2012)

After several years of living in a virtually sexless marriage, I am finding that my H is having a very similar problem. The way he explained it to me is that it wouldn't matter what I did to him, if he's already got his mindset that he can't finish off he won't. It's almost as though he puts pressure on himself. I have also found that his response to me isn't like it used to be. He tells me that he get overly concerned about getting pregnant or condoms feel like crap. He made it clear that it wasn't me but I'm scheming right now for when he gets out of the bush this turn around. I think I might start with a nice head to to back to front massage and go from there. I hope that if I can relax him enough, he'll explode like roman candle! I'm sure he would feel much better afterward.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

mary35 said:


> I am curious if there are any men who have had problems reaching orgasms?
> 
> My husband who is in his early 50's started having this problem a couple of years ago. He has an erection and is able to perform but sometimes he just can not go over the edge. Or sometimes he has what we call a dry orgasm - where it feels like a small orgasm but no squirt. Any advice.
> 
> He has been checked out medically and the doctors say he is fine. Is this something that happens with age?


Yeah. Go get a testosterone test. You need to know both free and bound T and make sure you're at least mid-range or above for his age. 

There are also some medications that have this effect. 

I'm reasonably healthy, have similar experience. Some detailed research showed I have "normal" range, but at the lower end of that range. I'll know in about 2-3 weeks if raising my T (specifically the "free testosterone") will be the ultimate cure. 

There are also some mental things that matter. For instance, if you REALLY want it bad, it can inhibit your ability.


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## +Charlie+ (May 12, 2014)

I dispute that ejaculation isn't a male orgasm, at least from my point of view...
I can have sex or a wank that is ok and can ejaculate fine no probs, nothing fantastic.. but I can have really good sex or a really good wank (but yes of course the good sex is better) and explode like niagra feeling very excited and worn out...
I don't often encounter the latter sadly though...

So I only consider myself to have orgasmed after having very good quality super exciteing exhausting sex.. irregardless of ejaculation... though it's usually accompanies it anyway.


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## JrsMrs (Dec 27, 2010)

Does he masturbate much? Sometimes men get 'death-grip syndrome' where they get so used to the extra firm grip and speed they use during masturbation that they find it difficult to orgasm without that intensity of sensation. Easily fixed if he just stops masturbating for awhile.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I have a hard time, sorta. I'll go a while but at some point I will stop focusing on her response and just start focusing on what I'm feeling. From there it's pretty easy to O. Not sure why this is, I've never had trouble before.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

zombiethread...from 2010 and then it was resurrected in 2013.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> zombiethread...from 2010 and then it was resurrected in 2013.


Sonofa.... I gotta start paying closer attention.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

it may be a zombie thread, but if anyone has a similar problem....I would highly suggest a PSA blood test. It measures if something is going wrong with your prostate gland. That's the gland that makes the white stuff that comes out....no white stuff, maybe something is wrong with the prostate


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Closing the zombie thread


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