# Just when I thought things were better and I was stronger . . .



## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Today is a rough day. Recently, my soon to be ex-husband and I have been on better talking terms and he wanted to salvage what we could of the relationship and build. Or so he says. Had even began to say he loved me again, on his own, not cause I asked "do you still love me?" But maybe that was more of an automated response, than anything else. Today I found out he is out with another girl hiking and picnicking at a remote waterfall. 

WTF is that?!?!?!?

We had just talked. I had told him, if we were going to rebuild, it better be something he really wants to do, not something he's just saying to keep the waters calm for the time being. Told him time and again, I don't want to be hurt by you anymore. I can't take anymore pain. So if you want to move on, now is your chance to go and move on. Don't come here asking to continue the relationship. He said he didn't want to move on, that his actions should be telling me what he wants, and its not anyone else. 

Well, ****, what are his actions telling me now? I just don't know. 

I was crushed. I had told myself that even though we were going to try and work on this, to not expect too much too soon. But you know, I never stopped loving him, which is probably why its so hard. 

Today, I just want to die. I am on the verge of hating him. Fiercely. All I wanted was him to love me, and he can't even prove that to me. It was all a lie, and I fell for it.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Gotta love the contradiction. Just had a conversation that centered on...

Ok, so all i have to understand you is what you give me. Words are cheap so as the old saying goes, actions speak louder. Then i proceed to point out what the actions are that I have seen/experienced and point out that regardless of what you think, or what you wanted me to know/feel, take a look at what you gave me to go on, then ask yourself how I can possibly see things, or feel any differently....

Actually though that got me somewhere for a second.... but got his words/actions that he gave someone else regarding me, as if I was some magic little fly on the wall and would therefore know all about it HAAAA

Ya, well go with the actions because that DO say more than words. Words are easy, and you can say whatever you want, actions are harder to control and far more telling of a person's nature. His actions and behaviours ARE who he is, the words may be who he WANTS to be or what he wants you to believe he is, but actions don't lie like the mouth.

Ok, sorry to inject my own emotional rant there, but in my own moment. LOL


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