# 27% of houses are single person households.the loneliness.....



## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

I just read the following article.

.Living Alone: More US Residents Forming Single-Person Households Than Before [CHARTS]

it says according to 2012 data, 27% of the US households are single person households... 

some of these people who are living alone could be having a partner with whom they are not living together yet.

I am thinking about the people who live in the single person households who are single too... aren't they lonely? 

if it was me, i would live with a family member/friends/roommate.. i would not like to come home to a empty,silent home... sure, they might be having family who live nearby,great friends etc but after returning from work, if they are tired to go out they have to stay home alone..

could you do it...?


and more importantly, will most of us have to face living Alone in the future? our life expectancy is increasing so there is a bigger chance that after children leave home,(or the couple is childfree) one spouse will die leaving the other to live alone unless they want to move in with relatives etc.. like in this article.

John Silva pictured dining with picture of wife in an In-N-Out tells his love story | Daily Mail Online (very sweet love story)


some of those single person households have a widowed man or a women in their sixties etc so they might be tired to go out in the nights, they don't work too.. i think they might be very lonely...  i could say they are very happy they enjoy having the house to themselves etc, but looking at my grandma who seems very lonely and who loves it when someone talks with her, i cant say that...


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## Moops (Sep 26, 2014)

In a couple of decades we will have robots with artificial intelligence who looks, acts and behaves exactly like regular human beings and with feelings and emotions exactly like humans. 

Think replicants from the movie Blade Runner with Harrison Ford where some of the replicants(AI robots) didn't even know they were infact robots and not humans as they had human memories programmed into their brains or something like that.

Companys in the future could just mass manufacture female "replicants" for lonely guys like me. Probably even design them so they look like for example Jennifer Aniston 1995 and program them to have a high sex drive and find you to be really attractive no matter what you look like.

They will basicly not even be robots anymore but artificially created humans.

Basicly what I'm saying is... Loneliness won't be a problem in the future.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Much of my life has been spent being responsible for others...sickly parents when I was young, then married and raised two children, I own a business and deal with employees and customers every day. 

When I divorced the kids stayed with me, until just two months ago when my youngest moved out. You know what? I love coming home to a quiet house! I love to be able to relax and not deal with someone else's agenda. I am still responsible for other people, employees and helping my kids, but the quiet of living alone is very therapeutic for me, I will be hard pressed to ever live with someone again. But never say never....


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I lived alone for 10 years and loved it, lol. Well, I had my dogs for company and worked full time. I can't say the house was quiet when I came home from work because the dogs were so excited to see me, lol.

It was only when I started to miss being in a relationship that I'd feel lonely - and that took a looooooong time after getting out of my abusive relationship.

I got to the point where I really was genuinely happy and loved my life - I have amazing friends, they could run the world, truly  Then I reached the point where I was open to a relationship but ok if it didn't happen. 

After a while when I started going out again, after a night out with couples, when I'd be driving home alone, to an empty house and climbing into a big, cold bed alone I started to think..."well this sucks", lol.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I could do it. Get me a couple of dogs, or a dog and a cat and I'd be fine. 

I haven't been truly alone in over two years now as my youngest just turned 2 in September. The one night I was away for 24 hours, I was with my sister and her fiance. I am looking forward to "vacations" (read, "sleepovers" but they call them vacations) at nanny and pappy's house. Or when their dad can take both the boys for father-son bonding time at the cottage. 

As much as I love the three of them, I do stay up late some nights just to be alone. I think I would be fine by myself. If it got lonely, there's always the telephone, visiting or hosting friends, going to work, getting hobbies etc. to not feel so alone.

My favourite Aunt is living alone right now. She is both divorced and widowed. She had her son and his girlfriend living with them for a while as they fell on hard times. Now she finally has the place back to herself and she's overjoyed lol.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I lived alone for a year after my divorce and still would be if I weren't helping with my grandchildren. It was the first time I had been on my own and I loved it. No one else to consider but my cat. It was perfect.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I do not like being alone.. I was an only child , hated it.. always had friends ...so I got along OK ... but I envied their big families, sisters & brothers & all that, even the chaos at times..

I wanted a larger family , I love being married...nothing I wanted out of life more so than being a wife & Mom...I feel I was meant to be intertwined with someone.... if I lost my H, I would seek love again.. as I just don't enjoy going it alone and truth is, too much of my GF's would just plain get on my nerves (sounds bad, doesn't it).. I don't think animals of any sort could take the place of a man either.. 

Our children are great, but they have their own lives.... 

One thing I have learned on TAM though is this.. just because I FEEL This way..even "Match making" our friends if I see a potential opportunity.... doesn't mean that others FEEL this way.. some ENJOY being single / having loads of free time to do whatever.. solitude...noone at home waiting for them... It's not something I can relate to, at least not if I REALLY enjoyed my significant others company..

2nd son will be leaving for college soon...3rd son right after him...it comforts me somehow that we still have 3 more to go... I get teary eyed just thinking of our boys leaving .. gonna miss these days so so so much.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I just watched "Her". Be the machine.


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Moops said:


> In a couple of decades we will have robots with artificial intelligence who looks, acts and behaves exactly like regular human beings and with feelings and emotions exactly like humans.
> 
> Think replicants from the movie Blade Runner with Harrison Ford where some of the replicants(AI robots) didn't even know they were infact robots and not humans as they had human memories programmed into their brains or something like that.
> 
> ...


that's an interesting idea.but honestly, i don't think we will get to see that in our lifetime.. but yes.creative idea. and then they might start war with us humans


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

frusdil said:


> I lived alone for 10 years whoa!10 years?!how old were you...? and loved it, lol. Well, I had my dogs for company and worked full time. I can't say the house was quiet when I came home from work because the dogs were so excited to see me, lol.
> 
> It was only when I started to miss being in a relationship that I'd feel lonely - and that took a looooooong time after getting out of my abusive relationship.
> 
> ...


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Openminded said:


> I lived alone for a year after my divorce and still would be if I weren't helping with my grandchildren. It was the first time I had been on my own and I loved it. No one else to consider but my cat. It was perfect.


what did you do when you wanted to talk with someone and the friends were busy with their families..?


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I lived by myself before I got married, I loved it. I'm an introvert so maybe this helps. Extroverts would struggle more I suppose.

My sister has always lived alone. She tried a roommate once but couldn't stand having somebody else in her space. We've both always had a dog, maybe that helps. 

I don't know if I've ever felt lonely. Especially now with cellphones. It seems like there is nowhere to get away from people. As soon as you shut off your phone people go into panic mode. Where were you, what happened to you, why didn't you answer your phone, this constant need for connection feels smothering to me.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

finding-a-path said:


> what did you do when you wanted to talk with someone and the friends were busy with their families..?


I am an only child and I have always been very comfortable with my own company. If friends aren't available when I want to see them, I find something to do that I enjoy and see them another time.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I hate being alone. I am not ready to find new friends, yet. In fact, I'm not sure I want to find any new friends where I live. I may be alone the rest of my life. 

I never had any pets for a very long time. When we had them, I didn't really take care of them. I had little desire for them. Yes, I did enjoy their company at times. Most of the time, they just worried me because I didn't know what they were doing while we were gone or when we slept. 

I've never had any friends as such. I have acquaintances. I've had enemies. I doubt I will be able to figure out how to make and keep them. It's really too late in the game. I've seen it with my mother. She was mostly a SAHM and found that she was never quite friends with any one after dad died. 

Those folks she called friends just seemed to use her. I know there was one or two that she really cared about and the rest were not so important. No, there is nothing like a good friend/spouse/family. All the rest is just smoke and mirrors.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Giro flee said:


> I lived by myself before I got married, I loved it. * I'm an introvert so maybe this helps. * Extroverts would struggle more I suppose.
> 
> My sister has always lived alone. She tried a roommate once but couldn't stand having somebody else in her space. We've both always had a dog, maybe that helps.
> 
> I don't know if I've ever felt lonely. Especially now with cellphones. It seems like there is nowhere to get away from people. As soon as you shut off your phone people go into panic mode. Where were you, what happened to you, why didn't you answer your phone, this constant need for connection feels smothering to me.


I am not even sure Introverts make too much of a difference -it depends.. my H is a doubly whammy Introvert (Phlegmatic / Melancholy) ...but here is the thing that seems to make it so he wouldn't choose to live alone.. he is a "TIME & TOUCH" man.. that's how he feels loved.. .. then there is Me.. I am a cross between an Introvert & an Extrovert .. I , too -have TIME & TOUCH as my top love languages... so ultimately we both would choose to be WITH SOMEONE ... (Love, Romance & all that!)....we shouldn't be touching our roommates !

But on the other hand.. if we don't enjoy someone's company, it's very true, we'd be itching to get out of there as quickly as possible..... he is fond of saying he'd be happy to sit by the "exit sign"...

I am more of the social animal between us.. but he's a great side kick.. if I don't feel comfortable with people, I don't enjoy being around them -being alone would be far superior!..but the world is vast and there are always people we "click" with.. we much enjoy getting together with them! 

I also could spend all day long reading a good book...or being on the computer (terrible forum junky that I am).... or get lost in a movie...then another... but I'd rather do those things with him/cuddling...

Even with the computer... we have our "alone time' with our laptops in the same room side by side many times!


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Giro flee said:


> I lived by myself before I got married, I loved it. I'm an introvert so maybe this helps. Extroverts would struggle more I suppose.
> 
> My sister has always lived alone. She tried a roommate once but couldn't stand having somebody else in her space. We've both always had a dog, maybe that helps.


 i think having a pet helps. How old is your sister..?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

finding-a-path said:


> i think having a pet helps. How old is your sister..?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My sister is 47. Her attempt at having a roommate was a disaster. They were pretty good friends before they moved in together and almost lost their friendship in the year they lived together.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

After 20 years of being quite busy with wife/family, I guess I wouldn't mind some time alone, but when it does happen.....from time to time, I feel like I missing something in my life.

If my wife dies, I'm sure the kids will keep me busy and give me plenty of companionship as even though we are parents first, we are best of friends as well.

And if I do end up having time for friendships, I will find a good friend (which I'm sure will be difficult).

Me + alone = not doing too well. I need companionship (1 person does the trick)


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

I've been doing it for over a year, since my LTR ended. 

I'm an introvert so generally it's not too bad. The first six months, during the very lowest feelings after the break up, it was hard. However, I had a close friend who lived practically around the corner, and we hung out pretty much every week. I had my best friend, who'd come over a lot and we'd be up all night talking until we fell asleep on the couch. This was pretty much the best arrangement I could hope for, as I had companionship but also time to myself to adjust.

Since then, the close friend has moved away and my best friend has issues of her own so we don't have nearly as much free time to spend together. Going on dates helps, spending the night with someone helps a LOT, it's like it recharges a special affection battery that slowly empties when I'm alone.

I'm coping. I suppose it helps I have a little one bedroom apartment so I'm not bouncing around a big empty place.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I loved living alone and also love being with someone like my GF who lives with me. I see advantages and disadvantages to both. But even when I was living alone I NEVER felt lonely. I would spend my time dating and hanging with friends when I didn't have my kiddos. The advantage was when I needed the solitude I could get it without interruption


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> I hate being alone. I am not ready to find new friends, yet. In fact, I'm not sure I want to find any new friends where I live. I may be alone the rest of my life.


do you mean living alone or alone because of not having friends..?


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I , too -have TIME & TOUCH as my top love languages... so ultimately we both would choose to be WITH SOMEONE ... (Love, Romance & all that!)....we shouldn't be touching our roommates !


that is what i was thinking about too...roommates, friends can be providers of companionship and conversation. these do not even have roommates...what do these people in the single person households do when they want to feel the physical touch..when they want a hug they can hug a friend.but what about when they want to lay down at night and want to feel another human being next to them/holding them....


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Jetranger said:


> I've been doing it for over a year, since my LTR ended.
> 
> I'm an introvert so generally it's not too bad. The first six months, during the very lowest feelings after the break up, it was hard. However, I had a close friend who lived practically around the corner, and we hung out pretty much every week. I had my best friend, who'd come over a lot and we'd be up all night talking until we fell asleep on the couch. This was pretty much the best arrangement I could hope for, as I had companionship but also time to myself to adjust.
> 
> ...




wow. i think it takes a lot of courage.. you have been doing it for 1 year.. do you have a pet? ever thought about getting a roommate...? (i guess you can't even if you wanted if the room is small)

so now that the 2 friends are not around as available as before, what do you do when you want to talk with someone.....?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

finding-a-path said:


> do you mean living alone or alone because of not having friends..?


Both. I have no friends. I only speak to two relatives and that's only occasionally. They are not my children. I don't trust anyone I know, except a few here on TAM. Two in real life, I only trust as much as I can pay them with money or as long as my insurance pays them.

1alone adjective \ə-ˈlōn\

Check except work, online, and once in a while when I can tolerate it, my sister for an hour: without anyone or anything else 

Check: not involving or including anyone or anything else 

Check: separate from other people or things

Check, only TAM is usually with me: without people that you know or that usually are with you

Check, only certain people who I will no longer be with: feeling unhappy because of being separated from other people

Listen, I'm not trying to be a smart ass here. I'm just stating what it's like to truly be alone. Few really know what it means when they say they are alone. I just had a discussion about this with my sister, today when I stopped at her place on the way home from the grocery store. I was there for about twenty minutes and left. No, I don't feel better talking with her. It is something I feel a little obligated to do.


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> Both. I have no friends. I only speak to two relatives and that's only occasionally. They are not my children. I don't trust anyone I know, except a few here on TAM. Two in real life, I only trust as much as I can pay them with money or as long as my insurance pays them.
> 
> 1alone adjective \ə-ˈlōn\
> 
> ...


hmm.so, do you feel the need to be included in group activities like sports or are you content not doing those?

what do you do when you need a hug..? sorry if it an inappropriate question.... but i think one of the problems of being alone is that people have no one to be physically affectionate with..


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

finding-a-path said:


> hmm.so, do you feel the need to be included in group activities like sports or are you content not doing those?


Like playing a pick-up game of hoops or softball, something like that? I haven't played those in...I bet almost twenty years. I can't remember the last time I played...oh, wait. I did go out at the insistence of a family member and join a local dart league in the fall of 2011. I was done with that in April 2012. I haven't done anything like that since. 

I used my body pretty well when I was younger and pretty much all of my work has been on the physical side. I'm 52 and my knees and an ankle generally hurt too much to take any running or jogging. I'd probably have to let someone with a gun just shoot me. hahaha  



finding-a-path said:


> what do you do when you need a hug..? sorry if it an inappropriate question.... but i think one of the problems of being alone is that people have no one to be physically affectionate with..


I haven't had a hug since June 3, 2011. I mean from a woman. A real live honest to goodness full grown potential sexual partner. You know, it isn't the same, but it's nice to have your mother hug you, and she passed in the first quarter of 2013. That's honest truth. 

Physical touch is one of the things I need most. Physical touch, hugging, cuddling, kissing and sitting close when relaxing or lying in bed are what soothe and strengthen me. They make me feel good, let alone(not to mention), sex. That's not even a possibility, not even in the near future. 

Sometimes life sucks and then you die.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

finding-a-path said:


> could you do it...?


In a heartbeat.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

finding-a-path said:


> I am thinking about the people who live in the single person households who are single too... aren't they lonely?
> 
> if it was me, i would live with a family member/friends/roommate.. *i would not like to come home to a empty,silent home... *


The reasons you mention for not wanting to live alone are exactly the reasons many people love living alone.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why did DoF get banned?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> The reasons you mention for not wanting to live alone are exactly the reasons many people love living alone.


Ayup. I will _never_ tell the wife that the last thing I want to do when I get home from a long day at work is to answer questions about how my day went.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I don't think I'd like living by myself at all. There are nine people living in my house at the moment. Chaos and noise, all the time.

Next week I'm going to be gone all week on business. The first night in the hotel will be bliss. After that, I'll increasingly miss the noise and chaos and get pretty damn lonely by the time the week is up. Then I'll be stressed out by the noise and chaos when I get back home until I get used to it again. 

I apparently need a certain amount of anarchy in my life.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

For the year that I lived alone after my divorce, I loved coming home to silence. Now I live with my son so that I can help with my grandchildren and I admit I am thrilled when they are all gone and I'm here by myself. A quiet, peaceful house is a wonderful house.


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> Like playing a pick-up game of hoops or softball, something like that? any game.. or other group activities like going to a movie/dinner with friends I haven't played those in...I bet almost twenty years. I can't remember the last time I played...oh, wait. I did go out at the insistence of a family member and join a local dart league in the fall of 2011. I was done with that in April 2012. I haven't done anything like that since.
> 
> I used my body pretty well when I was younger and pretty much all of my work has been on the physical side. I'm 52 and my knees and an ankle generally hurt too much to take any running or jogging. I'd probably have to let someone with a gun just shoot me. hahaha  52 is not that old
> 
> ...


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## finding-a-path (May 1, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Why did DoF get banned?


hmmm... no idea:scratchhead:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I assure you, it's not courage. I don't want to live alone and have only the contact I must.


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