# No Hope for Husband!....



## MielR (May 22, 2012)

I feel like giving up on my dreams to become financially stable.
I once dreamed of owning a home, having a wedding, having another child... But CANNOT seem to get beyond paycheck to paycheck.I have addressed the issue to my husband, but he is in TOTAL denial. And gets quite upset when I address the issue.

I am frugal, I try not to spend any money outside of fixed expenses eg. utilities, food, childcare, gas. just inorder to have some money left from last weeks paycheck to add to this weeks. I just want to get ahead.

IF MY HUSBAND SEES THERE IS MONEY, he will spend it... Whether it be on cigarettes, beer, eating out, anything considered unnecessary.

I'm at my witts end and would really hate to divorce because of financial issues but, I've come to the conclusion that I may be better on my own. I have one thing getting in my way, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY SAVE LITTLE SUMS OF MY MONEY ON THE SIDE inorder to get my foot out of the door! 

What do I do? :scratchhead:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

start socking money away into savings. Don't let him see it. Does he really know what food costs?

And you have to find a way to communicate with him about this. Maybe a counselor can help, but he has to understand that this is a major issue in your marriage. He doesn't have to agree with you, but he has to acknowledge that this is a serious issue for you -- if you cannot get him to that point, then, yes, your marriage is in real jeopardy.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

My sister was married to someone like this. Always had beer and cigarettes, but was always broke. Kids couldn't play hockey because they had no money. I bet he spent $750 a month on beer and smokes.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

When they got divorced, she could believe how much money she had. He wasn't just spending his money, but some of hers as well.


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## MielR (May 22, 2012)

It's quite hard to sock away any little bit of money I have when I had to use ALL Of It to pay a bill he "missed" or to take care of something he was supposed to. 

I've had somewhat of a breakthrough.
He's agreed to give me all of his paychecks with the exception that I give him an allowance, and allow me to manage the households finances. I've heard it before, but.... Lets see how it goes.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I had dreams of having a wedding and owning a home too. I always thought I would marry a man who could help provide these things.

It didn't work out that way; my husband lost his job soon after he proposed and couldn't find another one for a whole year. Now we have to pay off all the debt we wracked up while he was on unemployment. 

It saddens me that we couldn't afford a real wedding or a home, especially when I see other wives in our circle enjoying the life I would want and looking down on us. I know it isn't my husband's fault and he does the best he can...still irrationally resent him at times. I certainly married for love and not financial security. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been more materialistic like the wives I mentioned. 

Glad that your husband is allowing you to handle the finances. I believe that whomever is better with money in a marriage should handle the cash flow. It only makes sense.


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