# Need some advice... sorry so long



## tkn2dalimit (May 12, 2010)

I will try to make this as short as possible....
I have been married 2 1/2 years... the first year my husband was incarcerrated. Yes... we were together before he was incarcerrated. We had already been together a couple of years. Well, when he got home things were good for awhile. It's been 6 months, and things have just completely flipped on me. My daughter turned 18 and moved out, not on good terms. My son of 16 left with her, and my youngest (13) is now saying he doesn't want to be there. He says he loves me but can't be there. Mind you... the things R (my husband) wants are not bad things... respect your mom, do your chores and do good in school. No much... right? Well my kids have only known me in their lives and it was pretty lax at our house. Good kids for the most part.. no gangs or things like that until my daughter hit a rough spot.. but they never had anyone to tell them anything. So it's been conflict... WELL on top of all of that... he isn't the same. I found he's been talking to females, and to top it off some as close as my BFs friend.... that was just disrespectful and made me look like a fool. Granted I've made mistakes... he found out that an ex had called me a couple of times. Well, now every time i bring up the other girls he brings up the ex. I'm losing everything I have lived for all my life. See I have never been married, it was always me and the kids only. Well now the kids are leaving, my husband is not very understanding. 
He has a way about him... like he will go through my phone like nothing, but his don't touch it. He says he's going to take care of the bills because i don't, but then gets mad at me cause it wasn't done. I have been an emotional wreck up to considering suicide, and he tells me i'm on a pity trip. I want him to see it's not that... i need him to see i need comfort and understand, and he won't. he doesn't go out, he has, but when it got to where he didn't come home one time until the next morning and I wasn't having it. The next time it was late night and when he got home a chic had texted him as to why he hadn't made it to her house and she would never wait for him again. He told me that he flirts and texts but he would never take it to another level. But my thing is regardless you are having relationships with others, and how would he feel if I did it? I wouldn't... I do't even think about, and he is secure in that. I am not secure in that. I don't think he has physically cheated, but he is still cheating in my eyes... He says they are just friends, but there is one thing to have friends, but taking it to another level is what he is doing. 
I don't know how to talk to him, because he turns things on me or gets upset or threatens to leave. Before i begged and pleaded... now he just looks at me because I am like if you want to leave then so be it. I told him I needed him more than ever but that I would not hold him back. 
He is not the same person... it's like there is now a coldness to him that I don't recognize. The thing is... I know him... the real him. He is loving and caring and sensitive. And there are times when that comes out again, but it's like he feels it coming out and grows defensive. I don't want to give up on us.... but mentally I don't know how much more I can take.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I don't know about anyone else, but just for my own sake may I please ask you to change the letter style so I can read it? LOL


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