# In need of some advice



## paul1985 (Jul 12, 2013)

I am in need some advice . . . Im 28 and left the UK about 6 years ago to start an entry level job in Serbia I have really worked hard and now own my own company which has just started to do very well.

The problem is that my wife who is 21 and Serbian is really pressuring me to move back to the UK. Her argument is that no matter what she does in Serbia she wont be able to earn enough to cover the rent and bills not to mention afford to go shopping etc.

I earn enough money to cover all our expenses and I can buy her anything her she wants but she feels that she would be a lot happier in the UK where she can pay her own way.

I'm not close to my family (she is close to hers) I also no longer have any friends in the UK and my business is not transferable so if i leave here i would have to get an entry level job and do the whole thing all over again.

I'm not saying ill never go back but im not ready to go in the near future and advice would be appreciated.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

She's young & wants to explore her horizons. She wants to make a mark in the world, including being self-sufficient.

More than likely though, you'd move away... she'd realize life isn't happier with the grass that doesn't look so green... once she's on the other side. She'll then want to come back home & be closer to family.

Tell her you're staying. If she wants to move to UK for a few years to stretch her wings, she should have done it before you wed.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

She wants out of Serbia and somehow thought you were the ticket to the UK. If your company is successful, you are the provider so there is no need for her to be able to support herself. If she's planning on moving on from you, then she needs to be where she can get by without your contribution, other than whatever alimony she gets in the UK.

What's your sex life like?


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## ForBetter (Mar 6, 2012)

If her family is in Serbia, than I think I agree with Machiavelli. 

If her family were in the UK, I could understand her wanting to move there, but that is still not sufficient reason for you to move while you are building up your company. She could always visit them.

If I were you, I would stay in Serbia and build up your business regardless. Starting over would eat up too many critical growth years, and there is no guarantee of succeeding the second time around.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

ForBetter said:


> If I were you, I would stay in Serbia and build up your business regardless. Starting over would eat up too many critical growth years, and* there is no guarantee of succeeding the second time around.*


Truer words were never spoken. Business success is contingent on being in the right place at the right time with the right contacts and the right product. Don't blow it.


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Does she have any idea how expensive it is in the UK and how much you have to earn simply to afford a decent place and pay the high taxes?

and how much it rains there?


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Viseral said:


> Does she have any idea how expensive it is in the UK and how much you have to earn simply to afford a decent place and pay the high taxes?
> 
> and how much it rains there?


:iagree:

And that they hardly cook their bacon and eggs?


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Did you and your wife talk about this before you married? 

As I understand it Serbia has been through more than its share of troubles in the resent past and it could be that your wife is looking for the security of a "place of safety" in the UK before she starts a family.

As Serbia is now an EU member state there are no visa / immigration hurdles to stop you both coming to the UK so why not come over for a holiday / fact finding mission.

Are you in a position where you would be able to leave your business to be run by local employees for a period so that you could have the security of being able to return to Serbia if a longer term trip / trial in the UK was unsuccessful? Do you and your wife want to have children together and if so where do you see them growing up / being educated?


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Let her go and see if she comes back.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> She wants out of Serbia and somehow thought you were the ticket to the UK.


This. And the fact that she's only 21...sorry, dude, you were played. Tell her you're not moving and she's free to divorce you and move on her own.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

turnera said:


> This. And the fact that she's only 21...sorry, dude, you were played. Tell her you're not moving and she's free to divorce you and move on her own.


Exactly. Since, Wiltshireman tells us Serbia is now also under Brussels rule, the girl can hitchhike to London without a husband, just like all the Polish women.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I think Wiltshireman got his former Yugoslav republics mixed up. It was Croatia that entered the EU on July 1st. Serbia still only has candidate status.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

paul1985 said:


> The problem is that my wife who is 21 and Serbian is really pressuring me to move back to the UK. Her argument is that no matter what she does in Serbia she wont be able to earn enough to cover the rent and bills not to mention afford to go shopping etc.
> 
> I earn enough money to cover all our expenses and I can buy her anything her she wants but she feels that she would be a lot happier in the UK where she can pay her own way.


Does she have a job now? What does she do?

What kind of job is she expecting to get in the UK? 

Does she have an education? Is it an education that would be recognized in the UK? If not, she'll end up working in retail or something, which isn't going to get her any farther in terms of contributing to the household with the UK's cost of living. And if your prospects are uncertain, you two could end up in a hole rather than getting ahead financially.

Is this really about her earning her own way?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

norajane said:


> Is this really about her earning her own way?


 Or about what many 21 year old girls do, and marry a father figure to take care of them?


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

CharlieParker said:


> I think Wiltshireman got his former Yugoslav republics mixed up. It was Croatia that entered the EU on July 1st. Serbia still only has candidate status.


You are correct, my error thanks for clearing up any confusion.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I went to Croatia last month! It was a wonderful place to visit.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

turnera said:


> I went to Croatia last month! It was a wonderful place to visit.


:iagree:

I know someone who visited and they said so.
I saw a promotional vid of it on youtube.

Beautiful beaches , waterfalls and rivers.
Its on my bucketlist of places to visit!


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Has this turned into a geography lesson/promotion???

OP was a one-hit wonder, I see.

I'd love to travel anywhere that has beautiful beaches, waterfalls & rivers!.. However, I will never fly...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Chelle D said:


> Has this turned into a geography lesson/promotion???
> 
> OP was a one-hit wonder, I see.
> 
> I'd love to travel anywhere that has beautiful beaches, waterfalls & rivers!.. However, I will never fly...


 That's what cruise ships are for.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

turnera said:


> That's what cruise ships are for.


LOL!.. I could probably handle that! 


Hummmmm my mind is saying to my hubby..... " Oh...Honey..... did you buy the lotto ticket this week??"


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I just saw a thing on yahoo about how to buy last-minute tickets for cruises, at dirt cheap prices, so they can fill the boat. Same thing with hotels. There are websites for that now.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Paul, I suggest that you REALLY think this one through. The UK is in one heck of a mess at the moment. There are businesses going to the wall on a daily basis and the cost of living is really starting to bite. There are middle class families for the London surounding area who now use food banks. Its pretty dire. 

If your wife thinks that being a UK citizan is going to improve life she's she been reading **** Whittington and thinks the streets are paved with gold. There is little work about and what there is a happened to be either self employed so you get bearly anything with no benefit support or its temp hours and crazy shift work at minimum rate of pay. 
She might earn more in the UK but honestly you will be paying more as well. As and example petrol (gas) is 6.13 GBP a gallon (thats 9.37 USD) . The hourly rate in the UK is at the moment 6.31 (834 dinar)

Ive a feeling you may have been taken for a small but clear ride here because of the pressure to move here going on. 

If your business is going well stick with it for now. If you move you'll have to start all over, the money will NOT be there (and you will not get benefits from DWP because youve been out of NI compliance for so long) and at the moment there is alot of talking about imigration and what they will be allowed and not allowed to do. As you W is not a UK/Eurpean citizan there will be some support as your wife, these are minimal. You really need to speak to the UK consolate and check what you can and cannot do. I suspect that your W may not be allowed to just walk in on her passport and start working etc.


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