# Some Women's Views on Their Vagina



## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Okay, so this post was inspired by several threads I have seen where women have complained about men's "bizarre" sexual desires- specifically anything that is not vaginal sex.

The comment I have seen written most often is something like this, "Why should I give him oral/anal/whatever when I have a perfectly good vagina made for his penis? If he doesn't want only my vagina, the he can go elsewhere!"

I really don't understand why some women think their vagina is the be all end all, and why anything besides vaginal sex is "unnatural" or "bizarre" or "deviant". 

And then women seem surprised that men sometimes turn to porn or another person. It just seems strange to me.

So to the women to whom these comments apply, what gives? You have perfectly good sandals, so why should you need any other pair of shoes? You have one ring/pants/car/etc...so why should you ever need another? Same meal every night sounds good, right?


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Actually if you look at studies vaginal sex was the majority sex people had until widespread Internet porn etc. 

I'm not saying people shouldn't enjoy oral sex, but men 30 years ago reported desiring vaginal sex above all else and now it's often blow jobs. 

I have nothing against blow jobs etc but I do have an issue with men who can no longer properly connect with their partner properly because their desires don't match up and all they do is pressure her for oral. 


The truth is for me there is nothing as good and as satisfying as man who really wants vaginal sex, who craves it, who wants us both to receive that kind of closeness and pleasure together. Who hasn't been conditioned to have to see his penis go into my mouth or ass in order to feel a certain way and get off. 

Who also gets off on me getting off.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Alternative methods of sexual release to avoid pregnancy have been around for thousands of years. The modern condom has only been around since the 1930's and 'reliable' birth control for women (the pill) since the 1960. 

So you now have generations of people that are very used to the idea of being able to having safe PIV sex when they never used to think of it before. This isn't to say that there aren't currently countries and cultures that continue to find alternatives acceptable. 

The porn industry is a business. It sells a product. Just as with television and 'sweeps week' or a newspaper with a sensational story... one porn company found more outrageous sex acts to sell in an effort to take customers from another company. 

This information probably won't answer your question. That one's as difficult to answer as trying to figure out why some men have more curiosity than concern when it comes to where they might insert their member...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> The comment I have seen written most often is something like this, "Why should I give him oral/anal/whatever when I have a perfectly good vagina made for his penis? If he doesn't want only my vagina, the he can go elsewhere!"


While a woman may get sexually aroused by giving her man oral or anal it is exceedingly rare that she orgasms from either.

Her perfectly good vagina is perfectly good because she is getting as much stimulation as she is giving.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Many parts of my body are erogenous zones, but the core of my sexuality resides in my genitals just as a mans does. I don't think women are fixated any more on their vagina than men are fixated on their penises.


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## Fabiovelli (May 3, 2014)

I partially disagree, Ms. Pink.

Often times I am able to give far more stimulation to a woman through various means other than just my penis in her vagina.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fabiovelli said:


> I partially disagree, Ms. Pink.
> 
> Often times I am able to give far more stimulation to a woman through various means other than just my penis in her vagina.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then please illuminate how you are able to accomplish this whilst receiving a BJ or via anal sex?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/116841-i-hate-69-a.html


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## Fabiovelli (May 3, 2014)

Where did I claim to be able to perform that feat?

Although it has been done, that is not what my post related.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fabiovelli said:


> Where did I claim to be able to perform that feat?
> 
> Although it has been done, that is not what my post related.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Perhaps I misread your other post?




Fabiovelli said:


> I partially disagree, Ms. Pink.
> 
> Often times* I am able to give far more stimulation to a woman through various means other than just my penis in her vagina.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fabiovelli (May 3, 2014)

You didn't misread. The part in bold makes absolutely no reference at all of doing these things while engaging in anal or receiving a blow job.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Its relatively (too) easy for most men to orgasm through normal sex.

By the same token, its relatively hard for a woman to have an orgasm through PIV sex alone. Oral sex is much easier to make a woman orgasm. Most men I know enjoy doing that. Then if his partner makes it a chore to give him oral, he feels disrespected and insulted. It makes his partner look totally selfish.

It is the opposite for men. Many have a problem getting totally off through a bj. However, having oral sex prolongs the encounter and is used, in many cases as foreplay. Actually, having oral on his partner after PIV has been going on for a while is a great way to bring his wife to climax, then he can get off by resuming PIV.

The view that some women have about themselves is that their V is not attractive or is ugly. Why is that?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fabiovelli said:


> You didn't misread. The part in bold makes absolutely no reference at all of doing these things while engaging in anal or receiving a blow job.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:scratchhead:

Well that's odd! 

I can blow a bubble with bubble gum while walking. Not sure what that has to do with the OP's post or any subsequent posts. But if I made that claim in a post logic would dictate it has something to do with the OP's post...right?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> Its relatively (too) easy for most men to orgasm through normal sex.
> 
> By the same token, its relatively hard for a woman to have an orgasm through PIV sex alone. Oral sex is much easier to make a woman orgasm. Most men I know enjoy doing that. Then if his partner makes it a chore to give him oral, he feels disrespected and insulted. It makes his partner look totally selfish.
> 
> ...


Agree completely!

Bolded... If your penis bleed for 7 days each month, causing you to have to go through everything else girls and women go through every month, you would probably develop *some* negative thoughts about your penis too.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Agree completely!
> 
> If your penis bleed for 7 days each month, causing you to have to go through everything else girls and women go through every month, you would probably develop *some* negative thoughts about your penis too.



Damn penises! Its all your fault !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> The view that some women have about themselves is that their V is not attractive or is ugly.





Anon Pink said:


> Bolded... If your penis bleed for 7 days each month, causing you to have to go through everything else girls and women go through every month, you would probably develop *some* negative thoughts about your penis too.


And yet you wonder why some men don't fancy giving oral?

Kinda funny really, my LW didn't disagree with me at all when I explained why I wasn't fond of giving oral. Her exact words were: 
I can't say I blame you, going down on a V never did much for me either...


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## Fabiovelli (May 3, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> Well that's odd!
> 
> I can blow a bubble with bubble gum while walking. Not sure what that has to do with the OP's post or any subsequent posts. But if I made that claim in a post logic would dictate it has something to do with the OP's post...right?


I referenced you in my first post. Logic would dictate that I was responding to your subsequent post. Specifically the last line of that post.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

MrVanilla said:


> And yet you wonder why some men don't fancy giving oral?
> 
> Kinda funny really, my LW didn't disagree with me at all when I explained why I wasn't fond of giving oral. Her exact words were:
> I can't say I blame you, going down on a V never did much for me either...


I wonder how many men would still be as eager to do it if they knew their woman wasn't getting much out of it? Not because he lacked in skills, just that she didn't really enjoy it?

I suspect that many men, like many women get the bulk of their enjoyment in giving oral out of the fact that their partner is enjoying it. I know there are exceptions of course...


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## Fabiovelli (May 3, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Agree completely!
> 
> Bolded... If your penis bleed for 7 days each month, causing you to have to go through everything else girls and women go through every month, you would probably develop *some* negative thoughts about your penis too.


Negative is too mild of a word. And I couldn't imagine putting a tampon up there. Lol.
Thank you Ms. Pink....I will probably have nightmares now. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> I wonder how many men would still be as eager to do it if they knew their woman wasn't getting much out of it? Not because he lacked in skills, just that she didn't really enjoy it?


She never said she didn't enjoy it being done to her!
She said she never got much out of going down on a V...

_-ahem-_

Two completely different things!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

MrVanilla said:


> She never said she didn't enjoy it being done to her!
> She said she never got much out of going down on a V...
> 
> _-ahem-_
> ...


I knew what you were saying, and what I was getting at was the fact that I think a large part of the enjoyment that many people get from GIVING oral is the pleasure their partner is receiving.

btw, my STBW has laid to rest, at least for her, that just because a woman is a woman does NOT mean she by default is better at giving oral to a woman...


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I suspect that many men, like many women get the bulk of their enjoyment in giving oral out of the fact that their partner is enjoying it. I know there are exceptions of course...


Exactly. This is for you Anon Pink.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> While a woman may get sexually aroused by giving her man oral or anal it is exceedingly rare that she orgasms from either.
> 
> Her perfectly good vagina is perfectly good because she is getting as much stimulation as she is giving.


First off, oral/anal sex is not always done to be mutually beneficial, but to have one partner give something to the other.

Secondly, I'm sure you have one pair of tennis shoes which would be perfectly good to walk around in, play in, work in, etc... yet, I would guess that you want one more than pair. Variety is not a bad thing.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> While a woman may get sexually aroused by giving her man oral or anal it is exceedingly rare that she orgasms from either.
> 
> Her perfectly good vagina is perfectly good because she is getting as much stimulation as she is giving.


I thought of another example. Women enjoy talking- a lot, typically- and yet, most men don't. (At least not to the same degree.) So by your thinking men should only talk to women when they want to talk, since they typically are not getting enjoyment out of the conversation. If a woman wants to talk she can do it by herself.

Now, I'm not advocating being selfish, rather I think both people should be open to giving and receiving. Having an understanding that the genders function and desire different things is something we should be cultivating.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

My ex once had an orgasm when I sucked hard on her nipples. It was crazy. She didn't have trouble orgasming from intercourse. 

Once I slept with shy Polish Canadian pharmacist. She was very uptight about sex (Catholic guilt). She was a super kind and giving person. Having intercourse with her rubbed my penis raw. She must have been suffering but said nothing. It was the first time I encountered a woman who didn't get wet from foreplay.

We were in a hurry because our work schedule. That did not help.

If I had been more experienced/perceptive, I would have just eaten her out or kissed her while playing with her clit to allow her to relax and let go.

Vaginal sex is the most enjoyable but it has to work. IMO a bj can mean that a woman is holding back emotionally.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

What is the point of this thread?

Topsy did you start it just to be argumentative? 

So some posters said that they wanted their husband to want vaginal sex more often. I haven't read those threads but I suppose you probably left out the context involving how the husband was obsessed with this or that and was neglecting her vagina. Just guessing, and I would put money on it that I am right.

Anyways, my sexual pleasure centers in my penis and I know my wife gets the most satisfaction from me pleasuring her vagina. Sure we do other things,but not to the exclusion of what we both enjoy together.

But why are we trying to make women feel bad because they prefer vaginal sex? 

Like I said, I don't get the point of this thread.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

sparkyjim said:


> What is the point of this thread?
> 
> Topsy did you start it just to be argumentative?
> 
> ...


My point is really to try to understand why some women have a fascination with only having vaginal sex. Some women, certainly not all, are of the belief that men shouldn't want anything besides vaginal intercourse. As Anon said, some women view oral or anal as doing nothing for them, which I find selfish and strange.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> My point is really to try to understand why some women have a fascination with only having vaginal sex. Some women, certainly not all, are of the belief that men shouldn't want anything besides vaginal intercourse. As Anon said, some women view oral or anal as doing nothing for them, which I find selfish and strange.


People are different, and that’s all there is to it. Some enjoy skydiving: others stamp collecting. Some people love the taste of cilantro, others are born with a gene that makes cilantro smell like soap and taste like crushed metallic insects! 

Different isn’t limited to women. The suggestion that someone’s mouth might be in close proximity to genitalia makes me somewhat nauseous. If you try a new activity and that activity does nothing at all for you… then it does nothing at all for you. As dumbfounding as that may be, there is no way to understand it, you just have to accept it. It's not inherently selfish or selfless. It just is what it is.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

As a guy, my view is that PIV sex is the best type of sex - period. I also LOVE to change it up with oral and anal too though, but neither is my be all end all game except for rarely when I would like to go the anal route. If we do anal, it's usually offered up by my wife without me asking. But anal is not common in our sex life - maybe 1 to 3 times in a month. Oral, OTOH, is exceedingly rare for us and I wish we'd do a lot more of it during foreplay and via 69. Even at our most lust fueled states of wild passion, when my wife suggests 69, we'll do it for awhile but as crazy as it sounds I get so high with pure LUST that I have to bury myself into the vag. It's like I'm hard wired to seek it out or something...


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

MrVanilla said:


> People are different, and that’s all there is to it. Some enjoy skydiving: others stamp collecting. Some people love* the taste of cilantro, others are born with a gene that makes cilantro smell like soap and taste like crushed metallic insects! *
> 
> Different isn’t limited to women. The suggestion that someone’s mouth might be in close proximity to genitalia makes me somewhat nauseous. If you try a new activity and that activity does nothing at all for you… then it does nothing at all for you. As dumbfounding as that may be, there is no way to understand it, you just have to accept it. It's not inherently selfish or selfless. It just is what it is.


Even gay man love the taste of cilantro, don't they?


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> My point is really to try to understand why some women have a fascination with only having vaginal sex. Some women, certainly not all, are of the belief that men shouldn't want anything besides vaginal intercourse. As Anon said, some women view oral or anal as doing nothing for them, which I find selfish and strange.


SO by your logic, your wife should be allowed to put her foot up your a**, if that is what turns her on...

I find it selfish and strange that you don't agree with me.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> As a guy, my view is that PIV sex is the best type of sex - period. I also LOVE to change it up with oral and anal too though, but neither is my be all end all game except for rarely when I would like to go the anal route. If we do anal, it's usually offered up by my wife without me asking. But anal is not common in our sex life - maybe 1 to 3 times in a month. Oral, OTOH, is exceedingly rare for us and I wish we'd do a lot more of it during foreplay and via 69. Even at our most lust fueled states of wild passion, when my wife suggests 69, we'll do it for awhile but as crazy as it sounds I get so high with pure LUST that I have to bury myself into the vag. It's like I'm hard wired to seek it out or something...


I actually agree with your comments. The thing is, I don't understand why some people treat someone wanting something else besides PIV a freak.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

sparkyjim said:


> SO by your logic, your wife should be allowed to put her foot up your a**, if that is what turns her on...
> 
> I find it selfish and strange that you don't agree with me.


First off, I didn't say anything goes, but nice implication. I said I don't understand why some women treat anything else besides PIV as freakish. I don't understand why some people treat PIV as THE ONLY reasonable sex, and the vagina as the only thing men should want.

Now if there is a mutual love for foot in ass sex, then go for it. I don't understand why sex should be limited to only PIV.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

MrVanilla said:


> People are different, and that’s all there is to it. Some enjoy skydiving: others stamp collecting. Some people love the taste of cilantro, others are born with a gene that makes cilantro smell like soap and taste like crushed metallic insects!
> 
> Different isn’t limited to women. The suggestion that someone’s mouth might be in close proximity to genitalia makes me somewhat nauseous. If you try a new activity and that activity does nothing at all for you… then it does nothing at all for you. As dumbfounding as that may be, there is no way to understand it, you just have to accept it. It's not inherently selfish or selfless. It just is what it is.


And yet there seldom seems to an issue (among sexually active people) with PIV. To me this seems like a social conditioning issue or a social stigma issue. It seems slightly irrational to me.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> I don't understand why sex should be limited to only PIV.


Neither do I. I am just not offended when someone else's wife thinks that her husband should not be as obsessed with other sex acts when she is perfectly willing to offer him PIV.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

MrAvg said:


> Back then most men would never think about oral sex preformed on a woman. It was not as *wildly *accepted as it is today.


you know... this is one of those typos that just works...

I can see a lot of women reading this and nodding their heads in agreement...


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

MrAvg said:


> I do not agree with your evaluation. 30 years ago men craved blow jobs but they were few and far between. Back then most men would never think about oral sex preformed on a woman. It was not as wildly accepted as it is today. I do not think it was as much porn as the new age of sexuality sponging from the free love movement of the 60s-70s I always enjoyed oral on women even in the 70s, never wanted to leave a lady unsatisfied.
> 
> Porn I am sure has advanced it but it was well on the way by the 80s and I could her other guys talk about how their wives wanting oral and they were not sure they could do it. Many already were getting BJs or had gotten them and they had stopped. As for anal bondage etc I can not really say.


I think you give porn too much credit. IMHO, I think you could argue the point that the spread of Christianity over the globe from around 500 AD to the enlightenment suppressed sexuality. I thought the Asian cultures (China, India, southeast Asia, etc), Greece and Romans were highly sexual with a variety of tastes. Maybe it was restricted to the upper classes only while the lower classes were just PIV with little foreplay people only. IDK, but my guess is that sexuality was more varied until the RCC and Orthodox suppressed it after the fall of the Western Roman Empire.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

sparkyjim said:


> Neither do I. I am just not offended when someone else's wife thinks that her husband should not be as obsessed with other sex acts when she is perfectly willing to offer him PIV.


Just so we are clear, it sounds like you are saying a guy should just be happy if his wife is willing to have sex. Is that correct?

That is setting the bar mighty low, if you ask me.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Actually if you look at studies vaginal sex was the majority sex people had until widespread Internet porn etc.
> 
> I'm not saying people shouldn't enjoy oral sex, but men 30 years ago reported desiring vaginal sex above all else and now it's often blow jobs.
> 
> ...


So there is no middle ground? A man who wants oral/anal/whatever AND is interested in her needs? If a man wants oral/anal/whatever, he couldn't possibly be interested in her needs? (Notice I am not talking about a man who exclusively wants oral/anal/whatever.)

Additionally, after looking around TAM for a couple of minutes it is clear there are LOTS of men who can no longer connect properly and all they do is badger their wife for PIV. And yet, it doesn't seem to elicit the same reaction from women.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> So there is no middle ground? A man who wants oral/anal/whatever AND is interested in her needs? If a man wants oral/anal/whatever, he couldn't possibly be interested in her needs? (Notice I am not talking about a man who exclusively wants oral/anal/whatever.)
> 
> Additionally, after looking around TAM for a couple of minutes it is clear there are LOTS of men who can no longer connect properly and all they do is badger their wife for PIV. And yet, it doesn't seem to elicit the same reaction from women.


I never said there wasn't room for it. :/ 

I quite like it myself. But to be very honest I wouldn't feel as attracted to a man who wanted it more or as much as PIV.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

sparkyjim said:


> SO by your logic, your wife should be allowed to put her foot up your a**, if that is what turns her on...
> 
> I find it selfish and strange that you don't agree with me.


Not to encourage or facilitate the sniping and bickering here BUT there is a website for this foot thing you talk about . . . .


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Nope. Here's the true bottom line.

We give in order to receive. We receive good feelings by giving, but if we give too much those good feelings actually morph into bad feelings.

There is nothing wrong with asking for the occasional change up. Adding some oral to foreplay isn't asking too much. Anal is a whole other story and if it is off the table for your wife, and this really upsets you, then why not stick a life sized dildo up your ass and see how much you enjoy it? It really angers me when men act as if anal should be a regular part of sex. Are you willing to have the dildo shoved up your ass as a regular part of sex?

You asked a question, why do women act like their vagina is the end all be all of sex. It has been answered.

Why do some men act like they are being mistreated if their wife doesn't offer up her ass? When there are so many other things that can be done that either don't cause pain or cause the right kind of erotic pain. What gives?


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

The amount of women wanting their vagina in play in all sexual acts is probably about the same amount as men who want their penis in all sexual acts. So what's with men and their views on their penis?

How often do you receive anal sex and give oral without your penis/orgasm being involved at all?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> I actually agree with your comments. The thing is, I don't understand why some people treat someone wanting something else besides PIV a freak.


I don't think there is as big of a controversy here as you think. I don't think people are saying that wanting other stuff besides PIV is freaky. I think people questioned why a man would enjoy a BJ more than PIV, and would do everything within his power to get BJ's almost to the exclusion of PIV.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Not that it matters because everyone is different, but over the years I've been befuddled and amused by all the boredom out there expressed with just plain 'ol regular 'PIV' sex.

It's the ultimate as far as I'm concerned. There's nothing boring about it no matter how many times. It's tried and true and it makes babies.

I hope I never get bored of regular sex, and I'm glad I'm with a woman that digs it, wants it bad and has no great urge to 'mix it up'.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> The amount of women wanting their vagina in play in all sexual acts is probably about the same amount as men who want their penis in all sexual acts. So what's with men and their views on their penis?
> 
> How often do you receive anal sex and give oral without your penis/orgasm being involved at all?


Boom!

Done!


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## unlovedbyhim (Jan 20, 2014)

my view of my vagina is simply this, its redundant! not just for sex but for having kids, they simply never exited that way so it was never really needed unless it was for his benefit, I find that part of my body totally a wasted of space and may aswell not be there, I cant stand the sight of it, the smell of it, and as for now at my age of 50 I have no further use for it


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

I don't understand why women have a negative view of their parts... I know, I am male, so I don't understand.

Well, I think they are all beautiful, and I have spent the better part of my life trying to get into one or another, so I know I like them, and I ain't apologizing for that.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Unlovedbyhim,

That was really sad to read. I have no light quip of meaningless affirmation to offer... I can't help but think that you are attractive and that your vagina is very fine. Probably there are hundreds of TAM guys reading this and thinking that you are hot.:smthumbup:

Cheer up!


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Agree completely!
> 
> Bolded... If your penis bleed for 7 days each month, causing you to have to go through everything else girls and women go through every month, you would probably develop *some* negative thoughts about your penis too.


Along with the fact periods were called the curse in some of our growing up years and we all complain of the mess coming out that could end up on our pants and embarass us as a teen. Then we finally get comfortable with it and push a 10 lb baby out of it and wonder what kind of misshapen wreck it might be. Luckily I have a man who assures me it is beautiful, believe me I needed that after 6 kids, little tears that make it hard to sit down for several days. Encouragement from a good man is amazing helping me see it as life giving instead of ugly.



Fabiovelli said:


> Negative is too mild of a word. And I couldn't imagine putting a tampon up there. Lol.
> Thank you Ms. Pink....I will probably have nightmares now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's my husbands view of delivering the babies out his parts.



TopsyTurvy5 said:


> And yet there seldom seems to an issue (among sexually active people) with PIV. To me this seems like a social conditioning issue or a social stigma issue. It seems slightly irrational to me.


Or just survival of the species!


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> The amount of women wanting their vagina in play in all sexual acts is probably about the same amount as men who want their penis in all sexual acts. So what's with men and their views on their penis?
> 
> How often do you receive anal sex and give oral without your penis/orgasm being involved at all?


I actually give my wife oral sex or manual stimulation without ANY reciprocation. 

Boom! Done! For Anon!

Next question?

Now to be clear, I never said a guy should receive oral sex without any reciprocation back for his wife. So, the question about how I get oral or anal is ridiculous. How often do I listen to my wife talk without using my ears? Ridiculous question.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Nope. Here's the true bottom line.
> 
> We give in order to receive. We receive good feelings by giving, but if we give too much those good feelings actually morph into bad feelings.
> 
> ...


So the only answers I have seen to my question are

1)Men should be grateful for any woman wanting to have PIV.
2) Women think that men want other things too much.
3) PIV is the only sex act that offers the same stimulation to both parties.

So #1 is setting the bar too low. Would women be cool if a man listened to them only when he felt like it? Should she just be grateful that he is EVER willing to listen to her?

#2 While true for some probably doesn't explain the majority of situations. This is probably the only answer I think is truly reasonable.

#3 So it seems to me that women can be stimulated on their clitoris and in their vagina during both anal and oral sex. In fact there are many women on this forum who have talked about this very issue. 

Edit- I just went back and found a couple of women who said they prefer oral to PIV. Mind you it wasn't many, but I think your blanket comment is inaccurate.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

So my take on the question is this

1) Social and religious conditioning have told some women that oral/anal/whatever (notice I keep mentioning whatever, yet some people ONlY refer to anal/oral...hmm...) are negative, socially taboo acts.

2.) Holding back sex acts is a form of power. Look at the guy who responded that men should be grateful for any woman to have sex with a guy. That's a power imbalance.

3.) not interested in understanding the opposite gender. I'm sure women wouldn't be okay with their man only talking to them about one subject-ever. And then only when they wanted to. If the women wanted to talk about something else she could try to badger and badger, usually to no effect. But the guy could say, "That's the only subject that is mutually stimulating to both of us. All the other subjects don't interest me, so if I'm not stimulated, why should I do it?

4) Lastly, they don't like a particular sex act. I find it odd however that so few women say they are okay with only oral or only anal. And yet it happens frequently with PIV. (So oral sex is never stimulating for women? Manual?)

Again, because this point doesn't seem to be getting through. I am not advocating for people to be selfish lovers, rather the opposite. If you think your partner only does things when it benefits them, you should get a new partner.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Well then perhaps you weren't specific enough? Are you saying your wife won't ever touch your penis with her hands or mouth, would never allow a pearl necklace? Are you saying these variations have never happened, or that they don't happen often enough for your tastes? Secondarily, if they don't happen often enough for your tastes what is your wife's opinion about the frequency of variations?

You ask a broad question then get broad answers then complain the answers don't apply to your situation.

So what exactly is your situation?


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

You keep just throwing anal out there like it's the same as giving manual stimulation or a BJ. I can get behind people trying oral and manual on each other, and as long as it doesn't become one sided and pleasure for 2 is still the best and first choice. But anal sex can be a whole different thing. 
Have you actually tried it on yourself?

It can be extremely painful for some people. Not JUST not pleasurable but cause pain, bleeding, infection. It would be selfish to expect anyone to be in pain just so they can get off somewhere new. We're people, not blow up dolls. Everyone has the right to say who and what go where on our bodies and it should be respected, I'm sure you would want control over whether or not someone starts shoving things in your butt. 

It's good that you give orgasms without needing to be reciprocated. I bet you'll find much less of these kinds of problems in situations like those and if you give oral and manual then you should get oral and manual, at least an effort. 

But I disagree that the power imbalance is on the girls side when she's saying no and he's saying "take it up the @ss or I'm going elsewhere to do it" Would you be ok with your wife saying that? Anal sex is not a requirement for a good sex life.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

A view of my own vagina. Hmm.
It is healthy. :toast: boo yah:moon:

Seriously...I cant pull serious out of this. haha! my bad :


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## Laralie (May 2, 2014)

I like my vagina. It just doesn't get enough use! issed:


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I never saw a vagina I didn't like.

Course I haven't seen THAT many. But yet to see one, wasn't pretty.

Bald, bushy, trimmed, doesn't matter.

How bout it guys????


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> I never saw a vagina I didn't like.
> 
> Course I haven't seen THAT many. But yet to see one, wasn't pretty.
> 
> ...


So, they are all the same with different landscapes then?:scratchhead:


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

sparkyjim said:


> Well, I think they are all beautiful





jorgegene said:


> But yet to see one, wasn't pretty.


I think women are like hotels.

You check in and the foyer is beautiful--marble pillars, big, comfy leather sofas, a cosy fireplace. Everything looks perfect.

Then you get inside your room and it's like, "Who picked that wallpaper? And what is that smell?"


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

MSP said:


> I think women are like hotels.
> 
> You check in and the foyer is beautiful--marble pillars, big, comfy leather sofas, a cosy fireplace. Everything looks perfect.
> 
> Then you get inside your room and it's like, "Who picked that wallpaper? And what is that smell?"


JUST WOW


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

MSP said:


> I think women are like hotels.
> 
> You check in and the foyer is beautiful--marble pillars, big, comfy leather sofas, a cosy fireplace. Everything looks perfect.
> 
> Then you get inside your room and it's like, "Who picked that wallpaper? And what is that smell?"


Seriously? You are staying in the wrong hotels baby!


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

MSP said:


> I think women are like hotels.
> 
> You check in and the foyer is beautiful--marble pillars, big, comfy leather sofas, a cosy fireplace. Everything looks perfect.
> 
> Then you get inside your room and it's like, "Who picked that wallpaper? And what is that smell?"


Note to Self:

Never hang out with MSP -- EVER!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

BradWesley said:


> Note to Self:
> 
> Never hang out with MSP -- EVER!


Gosh, I know right! That was depressing. I will never think of a hotel the same way again. 

All I am going to see is a mirage of a vagina, and a notable smell. 

Shet.:moon:


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Seriously?


Lol!


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> I never saw a vagina I didn't like...
> 
> How bout it guys????


_*wonders if I've just seen the wrongs ones...*_

:scratchhead:


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## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

It's sad that PIV is now considered boring or vanilla. What a shame that porn has turned it into that.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> So, they are all the same with different landscapes then?:scratchhead:


Absolutely not the same. They have different topography, different gate styles, different landscapes, but I have yet to see one that's not nice and alluring.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> Absolutely not the same. They have different topography, different gate styles, different landscapes, but I have yet to see one that's not nice and alluring.


So its not just a P***y? haha:rofl:


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## kilgore (Dec 14, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> So its not just a P***y? haha:rofl:


the vag is so much prettier than the penis, hands down


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Topsy...you must be describing your wife here, right? She is the woman who is "obsessed with only having PIV sex" who is beneath your inquiry here, right?

And Mr. Vanilla...you sure are earning your name.

(not that there's anything wrong with that)


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

A word or two about PIV sex from my perspective...

When I was younger, I couldn't really feel anything inside there. The inner labia and just inside are very sensitive and I could feel everything...but just past the gate and I didn't really feel anything. At the opening, while going in and out, I could feel the friction. And I could feel if he bottomed out inside me or bumped my cervix. But not much else. 

Later in my life after a few unexpected sexual experiences while in an altered state, I suddenly began feeling from the inside. It was like something woke up in there and the inside of my vag became sensitive in a new way. 

Then I began working with my kegels...and wow. I became very very in tune with my vag, and now each in and out stroke of him lights me up completely on the inside. Maybe compare this to other body areas. If you push your finger into your armpit and pull it in and out, your armpit will not feel it very much. But if you put your finger into your mouth, your lips, tongue and inside of your mouth feel much MUCH more, are so much more sensitive.

That's kind of the diff between my before vag feelings and my later in life vag feelings.

I remember being very young and preferring oral over PIV. And looking back I know this was because I couldn't feel in my vag like I do now. I'm soooo happy for this vag awakening, damn!


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> So what exactly is your situation?


nuttin' but crickets...


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

MSP said:


> I think women are like hotels.
> 
> You check in and the foyer is beautiful--marble pillars, big, comfy leather sofas, a cosy fireplace. Everything looks perfect.
> 
> Then you get inside your room and it's like, "Who picked that wallpaper? And what is that smell?"


I think some 12 year old got a hold of his daddy's laptop...


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Is Mr Vanilla a real person or a satire of a real person? I find myself pondering the things Mr Vanilla says and don't know if I'm overly weighing the perspective.

Miss Scarlett feels that a well rounded sex life includes some variety. Miss Scarlett is not against the blow job, of course, but it does seem to rule out PIV for a while. One is an emotional satisfaction and the other physical. (Miss Scarlett uses the word satisfaction loosely of course.)


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Laila8 said:


> It's sad that PIV is now considered boring or vanilla. What a shame that porn has turned it into that.


First off, PIV isn't boring. What's boring is only having PIV. How about only wearing one pair of shoes all the time? Practical or boring?

Secondly, it's sad that variety and engaging in different sexual activities is looked at so negatively by some. It's actually depressing.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Topsy...you must be describing your wife here, right? She is the woman who is "obsessed with only having PIV sex" who is beneath your inquiry here, right?
> 
> And Mr. Vanilla...you sure are earning your name.
> 
> (not that there's anything wrong with that)


Actually, no. My wife does all sorts of things now. She was raised by her church to think that anything besides PIV was "wrong", but she hasn't felt that way for a long time.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> A word or two about PIV sex from my perspective...
> 
> When I was younger, I couldn't really feel anything inside there. The inner labia and just inside are very sensitive and I could feel everything...but just past the gate and I didn't really feel anything. At the opening, while going in and out, I could feel the friction. And I could feel if he bottomed out inside me or bumped my cervix. But not much else.
> 
> ...


As long as you are explaining sensation, would you kindly explain where women feel the pleasure of orgasm?


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> You keep just throwing anal out there like it's the same as giving manual stimulation or a BJ. I can get behind people trying oral and manual on each other, and as long as it doesn't become one sided and pleasure for 2 is still the best and first choice. But anal sex can be a whole different thing.
> Have you actually tried it on yourself?
> 
> It can be extremely painful for some people. Not JUST not pleasurable but cause pain, bleeding, infection. It would be selfish to expect anyone to be in pain just so they can get off somewhere new. We're people, not blow up dolls. Everyone has the right to say who and what go where on our bodies and it should be respected, I'm sure you would want control over whether or not someone starts shoving things in your butt.
> ...


I'm just using anal as an example because several women made the comment in another thread that if their partner wanted to try anal (TRY anal) that they would tell him that she has a perfectly good vagina. If he doesn't want just that, he can go elsewhere. 

It can be anal, oral, manual, role playing, whatever...


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> First off, PIV isn't boring. What's boring is only having PIV. How about only wearing one pair of shoes all the time? Practical or boring?
> 
> Secondly, it's sad that variety and engaging in different sexual activities is looked at so negatively by some. It's actually depressing.


I'm glad you said that. I feel that way about ****s. Just one **** isn't enough zzzzzz boring. I need different shapes and sizes or I'm just not satisfied. 

I kept pestering my partner to use a different ****, but he couldn't deliver and a fake one just won't suffice.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I'm glad you said that. I feel that way about ****s. Just one **** isn't enough zzzzzz boring. I need different shapes and sizes or I'm just not satisfied.
> 
> I kept pestering my partner to use a different ****, but he couldn't deliver and a fake one just won't suffice.


Ouch, now we get to the heart of the matter....


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

All I can say after reading this thread is I'm damn happy my husband is obsessed with my p***y and my clit.Looking at it,playing with it,licking it,f***ing it...
He likes it on the bed,the sofa,the stairs,the car,the deck,the kitchen floor,in a plane on a train  

He loves butt stuff too but ever since he realized anal sex causes more anxiety for me than pleasure he has been very satisfied to just play around in other ways and leave his d*ck out of it.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> First off, PIV isn't boring. What's boring is only having PIV. How about only wearing one pair of shoes all the time? Practical or boring?
> 
> Secondly, it's sad that variety and engaging in different sexual activities is looked at so negatively by some. It's actually depressing.


But it's not a shoe, there's an actual person attached to that vagina and there are so many different things you can switch up and touch and do even if that's your only entry point. 
I can't wear my 1 pair of shoes upside down or backwards. They wouldn't dress up or talk dirty. You can't lick whip cream off your shoe... or you wouldn't want to anyway. Use some imagination. 

And yes, a lot of women don't want to _try _anal, a lot of men don't either. It really shouldn't be that big of a deal. 

I'm alright with it as part of an event, not as the only event, but that's my choice and my body. No one should feel they have to do it because their husband doesn't their vagina is enough. 
Maybe the focus should be on looking at new things both can enjoy, ways to make the vagina fun and satisfying instead of moving on to another area. Grab some books and games (not porn) and spice things up, make it new and exciting.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> As long as you are explaining sensation, would you kindly explain where women feel the pleasure of orgasm?


Where? Most notable the sensation is strongly felt in the groin.

In the past I could orgasm through breast play alone. It has only happened a few times since I had cancer. But back when it was a regular occur acne that was one of the three orgasms I wanted nearly every time. It fascinated me that there seemed to be this direct line between my breasts/nipples and my clit. Those orgasms were felt equally in my breasts and my clitoris. Odd but good.

G-spot orgasms are pretty intense. They are felt very strongly inside my vagina and I can't really say if they are felt in the tip of the clit or not. It's just an all encompassing overwhelming sensation. Awesome sensation that has my whole body shaking and responding. My husband says my lower lip even quivers but I don't always notice that.

Since the clitoris is actually shaped like a bent wishbone with the tip of the wish bone being the "pearl/button" and then it wraps around the vaginal opening with the ends of the wishbone meeting again at the perineum before the anal opening.

Learn all about the fabulous wondrous clitoris here:Museum of Sex | NYC


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

My kitty ???? 

I personally have not closely inspected it however ......... it's oh so uummmm delectable and sexxxy sooooo I've been told ahem ahem !!!!!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> Actually, no. My wife does all sorts of things now. She was raised by her church to think that anything besides PIV was "wrong", but she hasn't felt that way for a long time.


Ok, I guess...I'm not sure what the whole thread is about then. I don't know any women who are "obsessed with only PIV sex" as you described it. I'm sure they exist, I'm sure it has been mentioned here...but I don't know what the relevance is, since you don't see a lot of women on this thread agreeing with "yeah PIV only".


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> As long as you are explaining sensation, would you kindly explain where women feel the pleasure of orgasm?


Where we feel the pleasure of orgasm...wow, that is a much harder question than I thought. Clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm for me start out very different but end up feeling similar. The pleasure starts at the C or if going for a vag O, the pleasure starts sort of inside my entire vag with blood swelling, etc. But the hard part to describe is that once you start moving toward an O, the pleasure sensation starts moving beyond the direct zone and outward into the rest of your body...or maybe not even your body, it feels more ethereal or emotional or mental...then when you start getting really close to the O the sensation kind of slams back into those O zones (clit and vag) in some huge crashing wave...and then as you O the waves spread back out through the rest of you and your soul again.

:scratchhead:

Does that help at all? Doesn't seem like it will but, that's my best shot.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> He loves butt stuff too but ever since he realized anal sex causes more anxiety for me than pleasure he has been very satisfied to just play around in other ways and leave his d*ck out of it.


This is me also.... I haven't even broached the subject of anal with my wife because truth is her p*ssy is so d*mn good that I don't need any more than that... Well oral is on the table but for me it is mostly just foreplay...

Reading here at TAM caused me to see the potential health concerns with anal and that also helped me to reconsider things.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm not sure what the whole thread is about then.


Yeah, right...?


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Most women may not enjoy oral or anal because their minds do not let them enjoy it. Attitude is everything. I can go on a roller coaster and think logically, and hate it. "Why would I want to go up and down for no reason, fast, hurting my neck, and hearing people all around me scream. This is stupid." Or they can go on the roller coaster wanting to have fun and enjoy the rush, and guess what, they will.

Sex is 95% mental. If a woman has mentally accepted that she will enjoy her husband in every way he desires, then she will. It really is that simple. Ego, pride, and just being closed minded sexually and in general keeps most women from enjoying other aspects of sex. They do not want to feel s;utty. While, my wife loves the idea of being able to be a total s;ut for me. Does that mean she wants to be a s;ut for everyone? Nope. She takes pride is outdoing porn stars in oral, she takes pride in wanting it in every hole, and she takes pride in upping her stock as a woman and sexual being. She understands I can't stop thinking about her because she gives me that many more reasons to think about her (men do think about sex a lot during the day, and with a woman who is enthusiastic to sex, it keeps her on my mind, not sex).

Her best orgasms are through anal. Why? Because we will use a toy and find a way to stimulate her other areas. However, as she orgasms, the pressure created through anal is much greater than vaginal, much much greater. During orgasm what she wants more than anything, is extreme pressure. For that 10 seconds, she wants it as hard as possible. So that pressure from anal is the ultimate feeling and amplifies her orgasms. With an open mind, I think most women like the idea of deep pressure during orgasms. 

Oral is the same, as if she gets me off during oral she then is so horny she needs to get off as well. Does it make her cum? Maybe not, but it gets her so worked up that she can't function afterward until she cums as well. It's her attitude. She mentally is turned on by what she is doing, whether it be the idea of what she looks like doing it to me, or because she just likes to please me. However, it wasn't always like this and for the first half our marriage she was the same as most of the women replying in this thread. She didn't like oral, hated anal, and thought her vagina was enough. In her own words? She grew up.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Also, anal and oral has been around a lot longer than porn. It may not have been in the public eye as much, because religion and a culture of being embarrassed to even talk about sex. It was the "birds and the bees" talk. 

Porn didn't create the desires, porn gives people what they want to see and feeds their desires. So yes, maybe it introduces people to positions a guy wouldn't have known existed before, but that doesn't means anything. I didn't like candy before I tasted it, does that mean beans is enough for me? And if it wasn't for the candy shop, I would not know better and would be totally happy with beans. People were happy without the radio before it came along, does that make radio bad? TV? Internet? Cars? DVD players? Mp3s? Etc.

Historians attribute Kamasutra to be composed between 400 BCE and 200 CE. 

Positions, oral, anal, and making sex as exciting as possible in this one life we have, is NOT a bad thing and not something that porn has created. This is absolutely false and a way to almost insult men as deviants because they are so nasty and simple minded that they only want anal because of a video they saw. 

No, they saw something and realized sex would be a whole lot better with a whole lot more options.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Coldie said:


> Most women may not enjoy oral or anal because their minds do not let them enjoy it. Attitude is everything. I can go on a roller coaster and think logically, and hate it. "Why would I want to go up and down for no reason, fast, hurting my neck, and hearing people all around me scream. This is stupid." Or they can go on the roller coaster wanting to have fun and enjoy the rush, and guess what, they will.


This is analogy does not hold up. Soz. 

Men may not enjoy anal, because their minds do not let them enjoy it. I can buy strap on, and my partner could think " that's for gay men, it will hurt my anus, it may cause tearing and bleeding" or they could just go with it and have some fun, and guess what they will. 

Or not. Some people don't enjoy certain things that others enjoy. It does not mean they are deficient. I do enjoy most roller coasters, but some I do not, because they do actually hurt my neck. No matter how many other roller coasters I enjoy (and I love scary thrill speaking rides), I still don't enjoy this particular roller coaster. 



> Sex is 95% mental. If a woman has mentally accepted that she will enjoy her husband in every way he desires, then she will. It really is that simple. Ego, pride, and just being closed minded sexually and in general keeps most women from enjoying other aspects of sex. They do not want to feel s;utty. While, my wife loves the idea of being able to be a total s;ut for me. Does that mean she wants to be a s;ut for everyone? Nope. She takes pride is outdoing porn stars in oral, she takes pride in wanting it in every hole, and she takes pride in upping her stock as a woman and sexual being. She understands I can't stop thinking about her because she gives me that many more reasons to think about her (men do think about sex a lot during the day, and with a woman who is enthusiastic to sex, it keeps her on my mind, not sex).


Ego and being closed minded? Yes so terrible that some women don't want sex to be painful. Or to destroy their anus, so they can't control their rectum. 
How do men up their stock? It's not by calling women sl#ts, likening them to cattle, expecting them to enjoy things just because you desire it. 

I think my spouse is so closed indeed, he should mentally accept, that I that he should enjoy what I want to do any way I desire. And he could, do it if he would just tell himself he could and stop being so negative. 
Some Men are so selfish when they don't want sex toys put up their butts, and won't go down after he's finished and taste his own delicious cum and swallow it all, and he won't take large long objects and deep throat them. He should take pride in outdoing porn stars, and I need him to last at least 3 hrs a session (or it doesn't quite cut it). He won't even begin to think about penis implants. The nerve!


----------



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Some Men are so selfish when they don't want sex toys put up their butts, and won't go down after he's finished and taste his own delicious cum and swallow it all, and he won't take large long objects and deep throat them. He should take pride in outdoing porn stars, and I need him to last at least 3 hrs a session (or it doesn't quite cut it). He won't even begin to think about penis implants. The nerve!



I can't believe your husband is so close minded that he would deny you these things...

Maybe Coldie should just appreciate what he has with his wife and not try to apply it across the board.

For me I wanted all of those things that he gets to do. 

I thought deep throat looked sexy. I thought anal would be a lot of fun. I thought big toys were hot.

And then I had a partner who was willing to give those all a try. I got to try all those things but I realized that they were mostly about me. All those things she tried with me were really more mental with me than physical.

Anal felt different - not better. Deep throat actually felt good but it wasn't worth it. Not really. Big toys? Well.... she didn't like that stuffed feeling so much, and truth is that all of these things were often more of a bother.

Instead I started to focus on what she really liked. I soon had a woman who had hardly orgasmed before orgasming multiple times, and sometimes we spent all Saturday morning in bed, both of us coming multiple times.

When I stopped focusing on what my mind thought I wanted and started focusing on what felt good physically for both of us I started to enjoy even more what the two of us could do together.

My point is that selfish thinking is very often unsatisfying. Finding what worked for both of us was much more fun.

So to say that a woman should enjoy something because her man enjoys it - well, I just don't think that is fair to put that kind of pressure on a woman. Perhaps most of these men have never tried these things that they see and so they think it is the Holy Grail of sex. I can understand that kind of thinking. Just keep an open mind on this, because if your partner doesn't feel the same way about it then it won't be the Holy Grail for both of you, and what is more important than doing everything on your sexual bucket list is having a rousing sex life.

There are no simple answers, just as there are no simple blanket statements that will cover everything. But in my opinion, to say that a woman is being selfish because she prefers PIV sex is not fair, and perhaps shaming. I don't think that shaming has any place in a loving relationship.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> Okay, so this post was inspired by several threads I have seen where women have complained about men's "bizarre" sexual desires- specifically anything that is not vaginal sex.
> 
> The comment I have seen written most often is something like this, "Why should I give him oral/anal/whatever when I have a perfectly good vagina made for his penis? If he doesn't want only my vagina, the he can go elsewhere!"
> 
> ...


Could it be the same reason, perhaps, that men usually prefer sex that involves their penises? :scratchhead:


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I'm glad you said that. I feel that way about ****s. Just one **** isn't enough zzzzzz boring. I need different shapes and sizes or I'm just not satisfied.
> 
> I kept pestering my partner to use a different ****, but he couldn't deliver and a fake one just won't suffice.


Hmm...maybe you should follow the advice of some women on this site and tell your partner either he does what you want or he can hit the road. 

Sorry about your partner's issue. Glad I don't have to deal with that.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Could it be the same reason, perhaps, that men usually prefer sex that involves their penises? :scratchhead:


Straight to point. :smthumbup:


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> But it's not a shoe, there's an actual person attached to that vagina and there are so many different things you can switch up and touch and do even if that's your only entry point.
> I can't wear my 1 pair of shoes upside down or backwards. They wouldn't dress up or talk dirty. You can't lick whip cream off your shoe... or you wouldn't want to anyway. Use some imagination.
> 
> And yes, a lot of women don't want to _try _anal, a lot of men don't either. It really shouldn't be that big of a deal.
> ...


(Bangs head against the wall) Seriously, it isn't about anal, it's about being open to things besides PIV.

So, instead of a shoe, let's use talking as an analogy. The guy only wants to talk about certain subjects. It causes him mental anguish to talk about anything besides a few topics. The woman complains about this, but the guy responds with, "But I can talk with different emphasis on specific words, I can alter the syntax, etc.." Still cool?


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

sparkyjim said:


> I can't believe your husband is so close minded that he would deny you these things...
> 
> Maybe Coldie should just appreciate what he has with his wife and not try to apply it across the board.
> 
> ...


Again, I guess men should only talk about subject he and his partner enjoy. Sorry honey, I don't enjoy talking about your parents coming to visit us. I'm sure that would be cool.

Again, for those of you who keep implying this, I'm not saying being a selfish lover is okay, rather I'm saying perhaps we should try to be open to a variety of things and not limiting ourselves to ONLY PIV.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> (Bangs head against the wall) Seriously, it isn't about anal, it's about being open to things besides PIV.
> 
> So, instead of a shoe, let's use talking as an analogy. The guy only wants to talk about certain subjects. It causes him mental anguish to talk about anything besides a few topics. The woman complains about this, but the guy responds with, "But I can talk with different emphasis on specific words, I can alter the syntax, etc.." Still cool?


Eh.... it'd be more like living with a partner with a fear of heights. You can do all kinds of things together but not things like mountain climbing or sky diving. That can be ok if you just find other great things to do instead, go to the beach, dinner. Maybe you always wanted to try it with them but you're partners feelings are more important and you work together to make other events special and fun for you both.
Even if you get to do everything, it will still be the same spots over and over again. It's not like there are that many other options. What happens if you get bored of all of them? 

I do think couples should have fun and spice things up and try new things. I don't think experimenting with your partner should be because you're getting bored of the place you can put your penis and she should have to let you do other things instead. It should be to find some new things you both like and want to do, some things to cross off your list because they failed horribly (and often hilariously, those have been some of my favorites ) Having fun together. Pleasuring each other, give and take. 
Taking her vagina off the table is limiting yourself to only things that pleasure you and not her.
Giving and taking unreciprocated orgasms happily would require some level of trust. No pressure, feeling used, feeling like you and your vagina aren't enough for them, worrying about how much they will want to escalate when they get bored of this new thing, and knowing they will respect your body and your words when you say "no". Your reason why they should have to do it, IMO, doesn't build this kind of trust. 

Coldie's post about how his wife started to enjoy a bunch of new things, her vagina is still involved in the fun at some point. 
That's a big difference. She _wants _to, she gets _enjoyment_. I'm not so sure she'd be so cool about it if he went home and said "I'm sick of your vagina sweetie, it's the same damn vagina every time! I want to stick it in other places without your vagina being involved at all. Ok? Oh, and if it's not don't be surprised if I go elsewhere"


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