# I'd like to hear from low drive husbands who have high drive wives



## Daisy10 (Nov 10, 2013)

Low sex drive husbands who have high sex drive wives, do you find it annoying that your wife wants sex all the time when you don't want it that much? Assuming she gets frustrated and demands it, do you feel like you're doing it out of duty and want to get it over with quickly?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

A good friend of mine is the low sex drive type and his wife is the high sex drive one. Just the way he is but if he took supplements like horny goat weed, natural test boosters and arginine just before bed, he would be in the mood like crazy.

Now you know how badly it sucks to have a low sex drive spouse. All the high sex drive guys here with low sex drive wives. Solution is relieving yourself until he finally gets it and your sex lives increase.


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## Daisy10 (Nov 10, 2013)

I'm not married or in a relationship. I'm just curious.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

Daisy10 said:


> I'm not married or in a relationship. I'm just curious.


OP is the voyuerist type that likes to listen to other peoples intimate details. It disturbs me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Daisy10 (Nov 10, 2013)

soulseer said:


> OP is the voyuerist type that likes to listen to other peoples intimate details. It disturbs me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then put me on ignore. It's a function that works very well. In the meantime, you shouldn't speak for me, especially about what my intentions are. You have no idea what's going on in my head, and I get no sick pleasure from hearing people's intimate details. I am learning and there's a reason for it (no it's not for a book).


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Daisy10 said:


> Then put me on ignore. It's a function that works very well. In the meantime, you shouldn't speak for me, especially about what my intentions are. You have no idea what's going on in my head, and I get no sick pleasure from hearing people's intimate details. I am learning and there's a reason for it (no it's not for a book).



I'm interested. 

Is this for a friend or perhaps yourself?

Whether you give details or not so much, you still have privacy and anonymity.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Yes it pretty much works in reverse on this. Hubby has said "relationships are not just about sex".."all you want is sex"..."you are one horny baby" to me. He does get frustrated at times but I think men are more tolerant..at least mine is he will always offer to take care of me even if he is not in the mood. I unfortunately don't really like one sided play, but if I really need him I will and he won't usually refuse a BJ as forplay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Daisy10 (Nov 10, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> I'm interested.
> 
> Is this for a friend or perhaps yourself?
> 
> Whether you give details or not so much, you still have privacy and anonymity.


Thank you. 
It's for both me and my friends/family, mostly me though. I am not married anymore though.



mineforever said:


> Yes it pretty much works in reverse on this. Hubby has said "relationships are not just about sex".."all you want is sex"..."you are one horny baby" to me. He does get frustrated at times but I think men are more tolerant..at least mine is he will always offer to take care of me even if he is not in the mood. I unfortunately don't really like one sided play, but if I really need him I will and he won't usually refuse a BJ as forplay.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you. 
I think both genders are maybe secretly happy that their partners are HD (assuming they like them)? It's a lot better than having a partner that never wants you, right? I just wondered if husbands start to feel like all she wants me for is sex, like I hear some wives complaining about.


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## cheburg123 (Dec 10, 2012)

I may fit the bill. It isn't so much low sex drive, it is the timing though. At 10pm I am exhausted and sleep is on the mind not sex. If neither of us worked and we could hang out in bed a bit in the morning or afternoon I'd be up for anything.

I do see a bit of disappointment in gf about once a week when she is up to it and I am not. We are successful at least once a week, usually 2-3 times which in my book is fine. She might rate things as acceptable but slightly lacking.

I will say 10+ years ago I'd have tried for 2-3 times a day. And I would have rallied at 10pm no problem. Age is a factor but I don't think I have crossed into the problematic phase. Have been to MD and everything checks out OK. Normal aging.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I know you wanted to hear from men but I thought I would reply as I am the HD wife with a LD husband.

We have had a lot of issues along the way and nearly split, but have reconciled. Sex (or lack of) was a big problem.

My husband has ED so needs Viagra.

He knows that I am pretty much always up for some action, but I don't nag him for it. If he isn't up for PIV sex he just won't take the Viagra, but most nights he will pleasure me in other ways; sometimes of his own volition, sometimes because I have initiated. He never gives me the slightest impression that he is doing it out of duty or that it is a chore. He may secretly prefer that I was not quite so keen, but I'm lucky that he does not show it, if so. 

I strongly get the impression that he is happy that I desire him, even if he is not all that sexual himself.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I think it would not be common to find a low drive person active on a forum like this (either male or female)

Maybe occasionally if they are seeking advice on how to deal with the problem. 

The thought of not wanting to make my wife happy is completely foreign to me although my wife is lower drive than me and would refer to that as having to service me. 

A wife that wants sex more than me is my dream.


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## JrsMrs (Dec 27, 2010)

Ha! It doesn't surprise me in the least that this thread is so short.... I have yet to see any truly LD man here looking for solutions on how to please his HD partner, or wanting tips on how to get himself back in the saddle. 
Honestly, all those men are at home spending zero time fretting their pretty little heads about their relationship. They are perfectly happy not having sex, so why would they be here looking for advice?


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

JrsMrs said:


> Honestly, all those men are at home spending zero time fretting their pretty little heads about their relationship. They are perfectly happy not having sex, so why would they be here looking for advice?


You're not altogether wrong, but some LD males are really trying. Unfortunately, those LD male looking for advice, leave themselves wide open for comments and criticisms from all the HD males. When the riotous laughter finally subsides, it takes a few minutes to notice that the LD male has quietly slipped away...


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Hey, where did MrVanilla go?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> Hey, where did MrVanilla go?


:lol:

You're clever!


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

I would be willing to watch lifetime network every night, become vegetarian, take up pottery, and drink only O'douls to have a HD wife. 

Just kidding. nope, not just kidding.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

BostonBruins32 said:


> I would be willing to watch lifetime network every night, become vegetarian, take up pottery, and drink only O'douls to have a HD wife.
> 
> 
> 
> Just kidding. nope, not just kidding.



You had me going all the way to Lifetime Movie Network. That kills male sex drive faster than running out of Cialis...

I envision a planet wide male sex strike where we all lay on the couch and watch LMN for a week... Any takers please PM


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## longtimemarried (Apr 4, 2012)

My husband is LD, at least with me. We have not had sex in over a year, maybe longer. I've forgotten the last time. In our 32 years of marriage, 25 of them have met the definition of sexless, if you accept the less than 10 times a year definition. At least 15 of them have had no sex in the year. He has been taking daily Cialis for two years. He has never had ED, he takes it for urine flow. 

I've been on boards like this for 13 years. I have seen one LD male post. The others were HD frustrated with their LD wives. My husband doesn't think we have a problem. He says sex is not necessary in a good marriage. He is not willing to take care of my sexual needs. He says sex is not a need, therefore I can learn to be happy without it. Occasionally he would try to increase the frequency. This fueled my hope and has kept us together. Since our last attempt seven years ago to revive our sex life, which lasted two years, I've lost interest in having sex with him. In the last five years we had had sex four times. He initiated all four times. I've never refused him sex. 

He thinks I've finally lost interest in sex. I am still interested. But I don't want sex with him. I'm trying to get enough courage to divorce. It is hard because we have been together so long. I think he has his sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere. But I've never found evidence of it. It doesn't make sense to me that a man without ED would take daily Cialis. He wasn't having urine flow issues when he started it. I was with him when the doctor prescribed it. She wrote that to get insurance to pay for it. She thought at his age it would make sex easier for him. He says it brought back spontaneous erections, but not desire to have sex. I think that means, not to have sex with me. 

I don't know why he lacks desire for me. He says I'm beautiful and good in bed. He says he loves me. He says he doesn't know why he doesn't want sex. He will never post. He doesn't think there is a problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Because sex isn’t very important to an LD person, they don’t think about it much. I know that might sound strange, but it’s that’s the way it is. I would imagine that there are as many reasons why an LD person doesn’t think about sex, as there are LD people. There isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with LD people. They’re just different. When my wife’s libido went off the charts, she became ‘different’ and I didn’t know what to do. 

Coming in here to ask questions seemed like a good idea at the time, but it really didn’t help much. Most of the posts here are concerned with having more, or more ‘satisfying’ sex, and not about having less sex. This didn’t make much sense from my LD perspective. 

_However_, I can now accept the fact that many people think about sex more than I do. That doesn’t make it any more important to me. I can also accept that some people believe that engaging in many various different sex acts is more satisfying, or they believe it brings a couple closer together. I can accept that my wife thinks this way, but I've never thought that way, and doubt I ever will. It is what it is. 

Once you find out the world is round, any further discussion on its shape seems kind of pointless.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

That is not exactly true, it is often suggested that in a sexually mismatched situation both people need to move toward the other.

I guess as a LD you perceive that as always suggesting more sex and an HD would perceive that as always suggesting less sex. 

"Once you find out the world is round, any further discussion on its shape seems kind of pointless."

I do not know what this means. 
I assume world = peoples sexuality and round = diversity

so my translation is:
Once you find out the different people have different attitudes about sex, any further discussion on sexuality seems kind of pointless.

If that is what you are saying I disagree. The fact that the word is round is a simple fact that needs no discussion, human behavior on the other hand is full of grey and talking about it helps us understand it or at least see how diverse it is.

As one of the few LD males that post here I think that makes your opinion more helpful a lot of times than the dozens of HD males that normally post.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I am lower drive than my wife.

However, I'm not in the category that I don't like sex, only that she likes it more than me.

Also, like a previous poster, it's more timing. she's a late night person and starts to get horny after finishing her dinner and work about 9:30 - 10:00. By that time i'm pretty done, but she starts to play with me and usually gets me horny enough to get me going.

Also, we've been married only just under a year, so we have a long way to go.

It's reading this forum, and particularly this section that alerts me to 
always be vigilant. I was in a sexless marriage before this one and could barely stand it only because I am low drive. 

This forum and also, the one I belonged to previously (experience project "living in a sexless marriage group) have shown me the heartache and sorrow that comes from a selfish lover.

So, I read this forum and keep score and try to have sex at least 3 times a week. We pretty much have done that so far.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

A hubby with a low drive browsing the sex forums doesn't even make sense.


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

usmarriedguy said:


> That is not exactly true, it is often suggested that in a sexually mismatched situation both people need to move toward the other.
> 
> I guess as a LD you perceive that as always suggesting more sex and an HD would perceive that as always suggesting less sex.
> 
> ...


What I'm saying is that I know myself. 

When my wife and I met 20 years ago we might have had sex 2x a week. That slowed down a little to about 1x a week. It was rather ordinary sex and I never wanted/needed anything else. We were fine that way for 18 years. Then her libido went crazy and she wanted a lot more and made all these suggestions of new things we could do and... that's not who I am. I've never had that kind of drive or interest and I don't have it now. I can't make it, create it, buy it, or rent it - and I don't care to have it. It does not interest me in the slightest. Knowing what it is, and talking about it, isn't going to alter anything. 

Trying to understand this (for my wife's sake) by exploring sites like this... makes perfectly good sense.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Even if it's now who you are, don't you think if she wants variety, and you love her, that you should accommodate her? To be a loving partner? The fact that it interests her should make it of importance to you.


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## Daisy10 (Nov 10, 2013)

Coldie said:


> A hubby with a low drive browsing the sex forums doesn't even make sense.


Maybe you're right, but I couldn't think of any other place to ask.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Daisy10 said:


> Low sex drive husbands who have high sex drive wives, do you find it annoying that your wife wants sex all the time when you don't want it that much? Assuming she gets frustrated and demands it, do you feel like you're doing it out of duty and want to get it over with quickly?


While my husband's sex drive isn't low, it is slightly less than mine. I could have make love every single day, while he is more like 3-4 times a week. It is a good compromise. 

I thought that we were going to make love this evening, but my husband pounced on me before work. What a lovely surprise! :smthumbup:


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