# Wife's emotions fulfilled by Son...



## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

...and now that he's in school, she has to get out of the house and go back to work.

I encourage this, but I know some of it is she's trying to get away from me.

I'm already manning up, but should I be concerned? She has ZERO hobbies and wants to get out to meet new people....and bring in some money.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Are you sure it's just to get away from you?
Maybe she's just bored now of being a sahm and needs some time in the 'real' world!
The extra cash is always a bonus and making her own money will probably work wonders on her self image.
I can't see a reason why you should be concerned unless there's something you're not sharing with us?
I've worked all my married life. Had time off for babies of course, but always gone back. There are times I wish I could've been a sahm but in all honesty I think I'd have gone crazy by now!
Why is your son fullfling her emotional needs and not you? That's a concern!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Your child is in school. She's probably ready to get out of the house and there's no reason she can't work. Outside, there are people and she will probably meet some. Unless you have her chained in the basement, she could have cheated on you on any given day since she's met you if that was her wish. She either stays with you because she wants to or you're better off without her.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'll never return to work. I will always depend on my husband for support. This is not a choice, but if it was I'd most likely forever be a housewife. My husband asked me to quit 12 years ago to raise our family. It took me a full year to finally quit since I was a single mother and I use to be so independent. I fully appreciate all of my husbands efforts and him picking up extra jobs.

I find hobbies inside the home since I'm housebound and can not support my head for over an hour or so. I never find myself bored. It takes me a while to get the housework done and I found a few hobbies to keep life interesting. I'm very blessed in so many ways.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Why get away from you?


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Chumpless said:


> ...and now that he's in school, she has to get out of the house and go back to work.
> 
> I encourage this, but I know some of it is she's trying to get away from me.
> 
> I'm already manning up, but should I be concerned? She has ZERO hobbies and wants to get out to meet new people....and bring in some money.


I'm in a similar situation. Everyone is different, but in our case a couple of factors I see (on the bad side) are:

- even less time for myself
- a rebellious heart that drives away from intimacy
- self worth defined economically

But there are always two sides and here is the good:

- I can pursue a much deeper relationships with my kids
- I have an effective reference to help my wife understand the value of time and money
- I can free up a little money for myself

If your wife wants to get away, let her go. You got the kid and got him raised to the point he can enter school.


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

MEM11363 said:


> Why get away from you?


Because the cat's out of the bag. See my new thread "LD wife and HD husband, how to make it work".


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> Why is your son fullfling her emotional needs and not you? That's a concern!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because he get more smiles, hugs, and kisses in a day than I probably get in a month. Now I find out she wants out of the house partially to get away from me and my persistence to rekindle our sex life.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Chumpless said:


> she wants out of the house partially to get away from me and my persistence to rekindle our sex life.


Sound like a perfectly natural response to me. Hopefully she continues to find her way home


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## Chumpless (Oct 30, 2012)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> Sound like a perfectly natural response to me.


You mean "natural" given our circumstances?


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Chumpless said:


> You mean "natural" given our circumstances?


Yes, natural given the world we currently live in. I suggest trying to see things from your wife's point of view. Daisygirl41 is giving you a big help by putting it right out there. While there are many reasons why a woman would get her emotional needs fulfilled by her children rather than her husband, selfishness is one of the biggest. A child is basically an extension of oneself while a spouse is a completely separate person. It is entirely possible and even widely supported to raise selfishness over all other values.


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