# How much is too much when it comes to over-involved in-laws?



## Jessica5971

Well, as I posted in the title how much is too much when it comes to the involvement of in-laws in any particular marriage? I am currently going to a situation where there is a substantial amount of over-involvement on behalf of my fiance's family. I am looking to gather your opinion(s) on where appropriate lines should be drawn in regards to this issue...? (Please refer to the forum "General Relationship Discussion" to become better acquainted with my story).


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## Jessica5971

Here is the link to my story http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/3189-mama-s-boy-should-i-stay.html


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## dcrim

I told my MIL to GET THE HELL out of our lives!!! She never came back!!  That was good for me! She was going on about my daughter (her Gdaughter) and I had had enough. Told her off and was VERY GLAD about it. Now, MIL has no Gkids (by her declaration!)...(and) at their choice!! She's the one missing out...not my kids! 

In laws have NO IMPACT on how YOU live your life and raise YOUR children! Period!


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## Jessica5971

Well I wish I could be as indirect as you were but I am trying to take the more diplomatic approach so my fiance will not feel manipulated by me. Unfortunately it does not look good for us in the long term as he continually chooses his mom and sister over me and our daughter. It makes me so sad, but I am trying to get through it as best as I can. It's extremely difficult for me right now!


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## MarkTwain

Jessica5971-

I always say, when you get married, you must first divorce your parents. If he will not put them in their place, call off the marriage.

If you don't you will have no-one to blame but yourself when your life turns into a living hell. Every one you ask will tell you the exact same thing. But only you can live your life.

But in case I have not scared you enough... let's peep into the future... actually let's not.

EDIT:
OK, I read your other thread, perhaps we should look into the future:
(please imagine swirls of smoke as we peer into the cloudy unknown  )

As time goes by, you will come to resent him so much you will not even want him to touch you. However, that won't matter, because as he is addicted to his mother, he will gradually go off sex with you once you move in together. In the middle of all that, as his mother ages, she will demand more and more of his attention. If she gets really sick and decrepit, she will be moving in with you - oh yes, close 'n personal.

Sorry, let's just pretend that did not happen.


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## Jessica5971

MarkTwain said:


> Jessica5971-
> 
> 
> As time goes by, you will come to resent him so much you will not even want him to touch you.


Yes indeed, very scary. I am glad that I left at the point that I did because I was beginning to habour some resentment towards him and it probably would have kept growing had I stayed. I have decided just to work on myself and to make decisions that will make me happy instead of just waiting around for him to change. At some point he will have to grow a backbone or he will never be able to be happily married to any woman.


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