# I dont know what to do



## sadwife79 (6 mo ago)

I have been married for almost 10 years but the person I married turned out to be a completely different person from the day I said yes in the church. We have 2 children I have 3 children from previous relationship. He was kind sweet and very thoughtful in the beginning but as years go by he turned into a bitter, not empathetic and sometimes heartless person. I am referring how he treat other people and it really turned me off. I know he loves me he loves my children he loves our children but I'm afraid to say I don't love him anymore. Our point of view and life goals and what we want do not always meet. I always see myself living without him only my children I always see myself and doing things on my own without him he completely,turned me off and I don't know what to do. How do I separate from him? I have to be honest with myself because I know I can't live like this anymore.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

When you know the relationship is over - you end it.
You end it knowing it’s no longer a good match.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You say it's how he treats other people. How does he treat other people?


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## sadwife79 (6 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> You say it's how he treats other people. How does he treat other people?


He most.of the time has no empathy... He would argue with old or young people. He always seems so defensive at all times.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

sadwife79 said:


> He most.of the time has no empathy... He would argue with old or young people. He always seems so defensive at all times.


He may have a personality disorder, NPD, BPD or is just simply an asshole!


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

People don’t change…they just revert back to their true self. 

I’m generally against divorce just because someone is unhappy. But he sounds unbalanced and it might be better for you if you left. Just be prepared when you tell him that he will act good again…for a while.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

What do you think he would say if he read your opening post ?


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

sadwife79 said:


> He most.of the time has no empathy... He would argue with old or young people. He always seems so defensive at all times.


That doesn’t mean anything. 
Specifically, what kind of behaviors are problematic to you.

Based on everything you said thus far, I get the impression that you were simply not in love with him anymore (or are interested in someone else) and rewriting/exaggerating his faults to make him the bad guy and justify your exit.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

sadwife79 said:


> I have been married for almost 10 years but the person I married turned out to be a completely different person from the day I said yes in the church. We have 2 children I have 3 children from previous relationship. He was kind sweet and very thoughtful in the beginning but as years go by he turned into a bitter, not empathetic and sometimes heartless person. I am referring how he treat other people and it really turned me off. I know he loves me he loves my children he loves our children but I'm afraid to say I don't love him anymore. Our point of view and life goals and what we want do not always meet. I always see myself living without him only my children I always see myself and doing things on my own without him he completely,turned me off and I don't know what to do. How do I separate from him? I have to be honest with myself because I know I can't live like this anymore.


First step is get a family law attorney. You'll need money. But that's what you need to do before you do anything else.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

See a solicitor about divorce.
See a counseling therapist to work through your choice of men.
You will be fine, though not easy with so many children. It's better to live away from constant agony for the children's sake.


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## Higherpath12 (5 mo ago)

My first question would be have you ever had a conversation with him about this? Are you just sitting there letting these feelings of resentment build while he may have no clue or a chance to even try to change?


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