# Relationship



## chicken (Sep 1, 2013)

Hi

I need some advice because I do not think that my relationship is healthy and it's going downhill since a few years. I can't stand it but I'm unable to leave. One day I hate her, another day I like her. Infinite loop of contradictions.

She's 27 and I'm 29. We're not married but been together for 7 years. We have one kid.

She's always complaining and nagging. I work hard everyday because I have my own business and I need to work hard for things to work properly. She complains that I'm never home, even if I come back home everyday at 4 PM. When I get home, I take care of the kid until next morning. All I do at home is walking on eggshells because she gets mad at anything.

Before we had our baby, I used to hang out with my friends once every two weeks or so. Now, she completely forbids me to go out unless I take the kid with me! She never wants to join so. She also forbids me to drink beer when I have the kid with me. Not even one.

We have sex once every two months or so. Boring plain sex. She doesn't even take her clothes off except pants and she doesn't seem to enjoy it. She caught me masturbating and got mad. I do it because she simply doesn't satisfy me. She doesn't even kiss me. She never tell me that she loves me, only on facebook or on the phone. Never in person. She doesn't even look me in the eyes except when she's nagging or complaining at something.

I wanted to take a motorcycle course but she doesn't want. She thinks this is too dangerous and threatened to leave if I buy one. She said : you have a kid so you have responsibility. You will never drive a motorcycle, ever.

I find her to be so annoying. I just can't stand her anymore. I don't even find her attractive. She always gets mad at everything I do (or don't do) the way she wants it to be done. Yesterday we had an argument over her stupid dog because she doesn't want to get rid of it (the dog bit my mother when my parents visited us). I told her that she needs to put him down before it bites our baby. She got mad and told me that she wanted to ****ing punch me in the face! What the hell??? I told her that if she punch me I leave. 

Obviously she doesn't seem 100% normal compared to other women and I just can't stand this relationship anymore. If I ever leave her, she told me that she won't let me keep the baby! 

At night, i often dream about meeting other girls and dating/having sex but never with my girlfriend.

I just don't have the balls to leave. We have a baby, a house, mortgage and I got plenty of debts. She has no friends and her family are a bunch of *******s. All she got is me, my family and our kid.. It would destroy her and I don't want to destroy her 

If women are all like that (it's the only girl I dated), I prefer being alone. But other women seems to be more interesting, hot, intelligent, fun.... 

What would you do? Have an affair? Leave her? or just shut up and be a man with no balls?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Sounds like you both have needs that your willing to ask for, but you don't know how each of you can get them in a committed relationship. 

What have you done to remedy this? Any counseling? How about reading some books? Or your could just try you last three ideas...

BTW, I give you credit for coming here.

Start here...No More Mr Nice Guy

Then here...The 5 Love Languages


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Wow, yeah, all kinds of red flags in your post.

First, go read a couple of the books listed above. Another good one is "Love and Respect".

Second, go to MC. I'm convinced that you BOTH have some things to learn about being in a positive relationship.

Third, what are YOU doing to help save the relationship? You never specifically address that. Just that it isn't enough, she nags about it, and that you spend your time thinking about other women.

I tend to think that you should man up, keep your balls, and do what it takes to save your marriage. That'll mean MC. That'll mean reading a few books on the topic. That'll mean sitting down to ask her what areas YOU have been failing her in the marriage. (This starts a positive dialogue) It'll mean thinking less about motorcycles and other women, and thinking more about how to be a better husband and dad. It'll mean taking her on more dates and putting her needs before your own, and training yourself to fall in love with her again. One person can't ultimately save a marriage by themselves, but one person can start the process and inspire their spouse to want to save it just as badly as you do. If you want to save it though, you'll have to commit 100% and stop any thought of affairs/other women and put your other interests on the backburner.

If you can't do that, then no need to waste her time or hurt her anymore. Really though, at least give it a shot?


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