# ? what to do what to do



## Whatstheproblem

I have given my husband three weeks to seek counseling for his emotional challenges and to stop drinking. He works 60+ hours and hasnt had the time to set the appointment however he has called for insurance information and such. He has two more weeks and if he doesnt do something then he knows I will leave the home. I have been his champion without enabling him in addictions and such but now I am wondering if I should bring the subject up; have you called to make an appointment? or what? 
I dont want to go into all the details over the past two years I am just wondering if I should go ahead and plan on leaving the home or play the wait and see game one more time


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## 4sure

Give him the 3 weeks, if nothing then make plans to leave. Make good on your word.


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## major misfit

Since you've issued this ultimatum, you have to follow through..or lose any leverage you may have had. I wouldn't ask him if he's made the appointment, etc. You've stated your case, now you have to see if he's going to follow up. If you leave, it doesn't mean you have to divorce. You could be sending a clear message that you're not going to live with an alcoholic (if that is what he is). 

I hope he makes the appointment, and gets himself some help. Good luck.


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## cb45

usually u dont wanna give utlmatums as they dont have a good track record (initially) of
bringing about lasting change.

since u have done so, i agree with the follow thru principle
"or else" (u'll be sorry u didnt later). 

in fact, if u think he's not doing anything per yer ultimatum, 
then WHEN u pack, let him SEE you pack. dont argue, dont
converse with him while u r doing so. H will get the msg 
loud n clear with your silent strength (fake it if u have to).

in the meantime, methinks u need to bone up on yer education
of his problem(s). i.e., i'd say alcoholics need a medical intervention kinda approach as the chemical torture that goes
on isnt appreciated by those of us who have not been there.
they need a vitamin protocol, they need plenty of rest and a
good-healthy kinda diet. some even need an institutional 
approach......clinic/resort/hospital/etc.

when u study up on his "demons" (and yes u need research on
this topic too or u r doing an incomplete job of it) u'll know
what u r dealing with, what to expect (a big plus), and how
best to be proactive.

if not, u get what u deserve....sort of.....u digg?[FONT]


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