# Question regarding money.....



## SUZIWORD (Nov 11, 2010)

My husband and I he separate accounts, not a problem. Currently he gives me 500 a pay check and I pay the bills. We are each responsible for our car note, etc., my question is I run negative ever check in my account b/c there is never money left over for me to have spending money, etc. He definitely makes more than me, so should he be responsible to put in more money than me? I get charged ISF ever two weeks!


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I can't relate as I am the only income earner in our household. We have a joint account and my wife spends whatever needs to be spent.

You need to show him exactly where the money is going (and he should show you as well). Once you document all the spending, it should be easy for him to see that he needs to give you more than $500 to avoid the ISF charges.

Doesn't matter if the accounts are joint or not. The key thing is for you to both share where the money is being spent.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Well here is the thing, in my opinion. Money should be done together or at least completely apparently. If there is one bucket, regardless of the accounts, one budget and everything is written down and apparent, these issues disappear. Running a negative balance is a drag since you are paying more in over draft charges. But you cannot answer who "should" do what until you have a family budget and agree to it.

Personally I think separate checking accounts is a mistake except if one person has budgeted money and does not like to pay cash. DH's account has his funny money and his gas money. That's IT. If he pays groceries on the way home for example, he gives me a receipt and I reimburse out of grocery budget.

I highly recommend Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Do it now before you have kids, if you have no kids. Get a leg up on the broke people.

Cheers.


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## SUZIWORD (Nov 11, 2010)

Thanks for the feedback. He has two children (paying support) from his previous marriage I have three grown boys, except my youngest in in college so I do think its my responsibility to help him. We just have different issues about money. And its starting to wear on me! NO KIDS TOGETHER EVER!


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Do you have common GOALS wrt money? That would be a good place to start.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Whether or not he should give you more money depends on exactly why you're ending up in the negative. If it's because what he gives you isn't enough and you are paying more toward the joint bills and therefore are running negative, then sure, talking to him about contributing more would be appropriate. But if you're each equally paying toward the joint bills, and you go negative because you're spending money you don't have on shopping trips or other unnecessary stuff, then asking him to chip in more seems wrong to me; you should learn how to budget the money you have more effectively in that case. 

Personally, we just have a joint account. We do have a budget, where we have a certain amount each week we can spend however we see fit. We don't do the whole "your money, my money" thing (of course, that would be kind of hard since I'm a sahm), we just look at it as "our" money. We are both responsible for making sure we don't end up with insufficient funds, although given his job, I am generally the one to keep track of the bills and the money. 

First, figure out why you keep ending up overdrawn. If it's for stuff that is his responsibility too, then talk to him and ask him to cough up some more. If it's because of your own lack of budget, then you need to figure out how to better handle your money.


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## SUZIWORD (Nov 11, 2010)

We do not split the bills 50/50. Its a very long story, but the house is mine (inhertiance) however it is still in my mothers name and I have a loan against it b/c I did a remodel in 2000 before he came on the scene. He feels he should not have to contribute to the loan note b/c we won't get that money back if we move. Of course not right now we won't but in the long run the house was worth 50K when I got it and now its worth 165K so yes we will definitely get it back. Its a long story, he cant stand my mother he said he won't contribute any extra money or joint account as long as I am helping my son (18) who is going to college but has moved out and is living with his grandmother b/c he can't stand my H. 

I am feeling very resentful and angry. I don't want to feel this away and when I try to talk to him about it he like wants to stick his head in the sand and pretend like all is good. I can't do that....I can but I will reach a point I will blow up and that is not good. I am feeling very taken advantage of at the moment and part of me wants to run away!

We broke up once and he said some horrible, hurtful things about my kids and that is why they don't like him. But after all the crying and begging I gave in and let him come back home and lost all of them. 

Life sucks!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

SUZIWORD said:


> My husband and I he separate accounts, not a problem. Currently he gives me 500 a pay check and I pay the bills. We are each responsible for our car note, etc., my question is I run negative ever check in my account b/c there is never money left over for me to have spending money, etc. He definitely makes more than me, so should he be responsible to put in more money than me? I get charged ISF ever two weeks!



It is a matter of opinion of course, but I see nothing wrong with separate accounts. My ex wife and I always had separate accounts and never had a money quarrel. We both had accounts when we married, so we just added each other's name and kept the separate accounts; my income went in mine and her income went in hers.

I made more, so I payed more of the bills. However, it wasn't a "hands off" policy. We just managed our own money and incorporated it into taking care of the family needs. 

I think people need some money that is just theirs. If my wife bought 20 new dresses, what could I say as long as our bills were being paid? Some might argue that I shouldn't say anything anyway, but that would cause problems with some.

It wasn't just for my wants either. I always thought, "why should my wife have to help pay for a $300 tool for the garage?


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## zohaib (Dec 24, 2010)

I suggest you to share and let him know the detail of the expenses...then he will be able to understand that where you are lacking for money..

It really doesnt matter whether you have joint or separate account.


hope it will help.


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