# Turned off by your partner's gross habits?



## kindnessrules (Sep 5, 2014)

Have you ever been in the position of being turned off by your partner's gross habits? Things like skin picking, gross table manners, etc. Do you ever feel turned off and repulsed, even to the point of no longer physically wanting the person? 

Experts say if you knew about such things beforehand, this may not be the right person for you because it may always bother you. But these may be things you did not know about beforehand. 

Do you feel able to speak to them about it? Do you feel it's something that can be discussed or should you just learn to deal with it and keep your mouth shut? Would you be offended if they spoke to you about yours? Would you be willing to change?

These are common everyday things in marriage or LTRs. Have you ever had to deal with this? If these things bother you and gross you out, what are ways that you have recovered the feelings of physical attraction?


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Sounds like you're dong research for a project.

What's your experience regarding the above.


----------



## kindnessrules (Sep 5, 2014)

I am not doing research for a project.

Are you a moderator?


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I was always put off by my rich, skanky XW's morning habit when she finished fixing her hot morning tea by adding cream and sugar to it and stirring it up, she'd lick the spoon then hand it to me for me to start stirring my coffee with, greatly justifying it by saying that I don't have to dirty up another teaspoon.

I told her that if that was the rationale she was inclined to use, that we may as well resign ourselves to sharing toothbrushes as well!

That really pissed her off! From that point on, I went and got my own teaspoon, knowing that it really chapped her ass something terrible!


----------



## s'mores (Feb 15, 2012)

Sorry, reminded me of this: http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/25/50/be7f505ce66f20859b4a5703955e914b.jpg

Anyway, my wife always picks scabs off and makes things bleed and makes it take longer to heal. It really bugs me. She also... *gag* ...likes her fried eggs runny inside and it runs all over her plate and she then uses the other food on her plate to get up the yolk like you do with syrup when eating pancakes.

But before and after those things are happening? It doesn't even factor into my feelings or attraction for her.


----------



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

Yes, It is really gross that I kissed my wife and gave her an oral right after I got her home from the airport, after two weeks time away without knowing her boyfriend kissed her good by, hours before into plane and focked here around that time without condom because she doesn't like to use condoms. I learned that it is a habit of hers to be with multiple men in hours notice probably spreading a lot of germs and juice around. 

Does it count ?

Edit: I'd take any nail biter or nose picker over her.


----------



## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

SweetAndSour said:


> Does it count ?


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SweetAndSour: Now you know exactly how I feel. The very same thing happened to me when my rich, skanky XW made her "business" road trips to bang two OMen from her past, that she had reconnected with on FB, then comes right back home and proceeds to put my face in her business, where only hours before, one of those other bastards had laciviously been.

She undoubtedly enjoyed herself to no end at watching me so dupingly going to town on her!

Totally disgusting!

And I didn't have the first damn clue there was anyone else remotely interested in her, or she in them!


----------



## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Ohhh..there are several..lol!! First of all, he finds nothing wrong with leaving his shoes on the table...YUCK!! Who knows what he may have stepped in during the day, so he then thinks it alright to leave them UPSIDE DOWN on the table thinking that's different.

Ya know how many sweat glands are in a person's feet?? That's why we wear socks, since our feet sweat. BLEH!!

He also leaves his dirty pants on the table..and again..BLEH!!!

Speaking of gross things..I used to date a guy that would bite his fingernails and then spit them out. He borrowed my car one day and I had one of those rubber wheel things on my steering wheel. After he brought my car back, the steering wheel was absolutely FULL of..I'll call them "fingernail spits"

Gross and completely disgusting!!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Get the book "Love Busters" and then negotiate with your spouse to stop the bad habit (love buster)


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Yes, my husband has habits that drive me up the wall! He is a nose picker. I swear he must have had somekind of hyper activity disorder as a child as he seems to constantly be in motion even while he is sitting....popping his wrists, popping his ankles, scratching his head, fidgety. He likes to stay clean which I admire but he doesn't like to mow the grass so he suits up in goggles, gloves, hat and all the armor to protect himself which I find bizarre. He is obsessed with all the money accounts and gripes about the grocery bill if my income gets too low or I start spending more from "his" money. he has his morning routine down in the bathroom that includes brushing his teeth after he saves, before he has had breakfast. Says he doesn't want to go back in the bathroom to brush his teeth later. Really? That is that big of an effort? he picks up habits from other people that drive me crazy. If he sees someone do something he has never done he adapts that into his life. For example we recently went to a wine tasting where this man was twirling the wine in his glass....guess who started doing the same. his doctor has a very noisy way of washing her hands, he then adopted that. 

I have mentioned these things to husband but he acts completely offended like I was scolding him like a puppy who peed on the floor. Typical reaction from hubby though. It is impossible almost to talk to this man like he is adult and receive back a mature response. I am gentle but I think he sees me condemning when I actually am not.

This was a topic with my counselor at one point and he said he understood, that a person's habits are very difficult to deal with. Anymore when something bothers me I just leave the room, sometimes I will just spend an hour reading a book to take my mind away from it. Or maybe I'll find a reason to leaver the house even if it's for a walk. counselor said he felt it was the best thing I could do because wanting him to stop is not happening. mentioning just makes him offended and he does not want me to "hound" him about things I don't like. he is also the type that is not going to change because I think he feels I need to accept him how he is.


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Hubby has recently started making smacking or chomping sounds when he eats. Gah! I can't stand it!

I can't help myself, I call him on it every time. When I'm extremely irritated I say to him "You never used to do this, why have you started now? We discussed this on our 3rd date, it was a peeve of us both! Please stop it!!"

Bahahahahahaha!!! He seriously never used to do it, but now he does. I said to him he needs to do something about it because I'll go nuts if it continues for the rest of our lives!


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Hubby has recently started making smacking or chomping sounds when he eats. Gah! I can't stand it!
> 
> I can't help myself, I call him on it every time. When I'm extremely irritated I say to him "You never used to do this, why have you started now? We discussed this on our 3rd date, it was a peeve of us both! Please stop it!!"
> 
> Bahahahahahaha!!! He seriously never used to do it, but now he does. I said to him he needs to do something about it because I'll go nuts if it continues for the rest of our lives!


I have been with my husband for 25 years. He and his sisters used to make fun of their mom because she would sit and twiddle her thumbs. Husband never in most of our marriage did this. When his mom passed away he started doing this. My counselor said it was a way of keeping his mom close to him. I hate it! I hated it when she did and it is even more annoying when he does it. 

Husband's sister is very heavy and does not have a great deal of social skills. One time we were out to dinner and she was practically scooping the food from her plate to her mouth, her head was right down by her plate, shoveling it in. She was licking her silverware which I found disgusting. Husband made the comment of how awful it was, not me. He even made note to me about her licking her silverware, something he said his mom used to do. Guess who licks his silevrware now? I mentioned it to husband and he was not even aware he was doing it. How weird is that?


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My older sister who has 2 daughters has awful table manners. She has never learned whether at home, in a restaurant or at a dinner party, that she needs to wait until everyone is served before she starts eating. 

The other habit she has is that she grabs food off of other people's plate and then tries to turn it into a joke. We were out with some friends of hers from university. They told her stop doing it.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

When I was married I loved my wife's scent, not perfume smell but her natural scent. Later on in our marriage we got involved in horses and she got in the habit of going out to the barn and checking things one last time before coming to bed. While out there she would always end up petting or brushing and then come in and crawl into bed stinking of barn and horse. Don't get me wrong I am a country boy and love the smell of livestock and diesel, but that doesn't mean I want to cuddle up to it! I was such a huge turn off for me. I can't tell you the number of times it's started a fight...(me)please dear can you go take a quick shower and rinse off...(her)It's 10 PM, I'm not taking a shower now, if you don't like it go sleep in the other room! 

She eventually ran of with the Ferrier (black smith) , took the horses and left the kids with me. I guess being with someone that smells the same was more attractive. lol


----------



## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

I bite my nails and thank God it doesn't bother my husband. He picks his nose sometimes which is gross but I make him wash his hands after before touching me or anything else. He is a bit ocd tbh and he hates it when I eat my soop and lift the spoon to my mouth and a bit drops out of the spoon back into the plate. Im just like meh, it isnt falling out of my mouth and it falls back into my plate anyway. He hates it, so I just try to avoid eating soup around him.


----------



## kindnessrules (Sep 5, 2014)

My spouse rolls black bits off his body and leaves them around on tabletops, etc. I have no idea what they are except some people have black sweat. No kidding, I looked it up and it's a thing. He tries to do it less because I mentioned it was a little gross.

I sometimes put a bit of tissue in my nose when my nose is extra runny. If he were grossed out and asked me to stop I would. But he hasn't. But it might be gross to some people.


----------



## s'mores (Feb 15, 2012)

Wife just told me that she can't think of any habits I have that she finds gross. I'm sure there are plenty that annoy her, though, such as always bouncing my knee while sitting on the couch next to her. Or picking apart things like logical inconsistencies in things, such as lyrics in the country music she likes listening to. I'd do it to my own music, but you can't really understand what they are saying in death metal.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Sometimes my wife farts on my leg while we're spooning.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W says I chew gum like a cow. I agree. She powders after a show. Sometime it is so much I tease her stating she will not stick to the baking pan with all the powder. Other than that, after 20 years of marriage, one kids of overlooks or does not even pay attention to odd ball habits anymore.


----------



## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Usually we drive separate cars to work in the morning, but if we end up in the same one, I drive, and my wife will floss her teeth. Yuck! I'd rather that she floss in the bathroom and leave two minutes later.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Usually we drive separate cars to work in the morning, but if we end up in the same one, I drive, and my wife will floss her teeth. Yuck! I'd rather that she floss in the bathroom and leave two minutes later.


That would bother me a lot too.


----------



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

FormerSelf said:


>


My ex have to see this. She used to follow me here.

Which movie is it from ?


----------



## s'mores (Feb 15, 2012)

SweetAndSour said:


> My ex have to see this. She used to follow me here.
> 
> Which movie is it from ?


Gran Torino from the looks of it.


----------



## SweetAndSour (Feb 25, 2012)

s'mores said:


> Gran Torino from the looks of it.


Thanks, very appropriate, I shouldn't be taking it so lightly but I'm over, so I'm OK.


----------

