# Premature Ejaculation SUCKS!!!



## NewZealand (Mar 2, 2011)

I am married to my love for 19 years, and I suffer from that horrible, and very embarrassing thing called - premature ejaculation. This is VERY frustrating for my wife, and so hard for her. She does get to cum, I have to resort to oral, and she loves it when she cums - but she says that the natural way is so much more satisfying, because she can have multiple orgasms. In all our years of marriage this has been tough because she really wants me to last longer and enjoy a little more, and so do I want to go longer. I have tried foreplay and all the recommended stuff, I have even done the technique of pulling out of her, before I ejaculate - nothing works!

I know there are more of you males out there, that are perhaps to shy to admit you suffer too - have any of you got the solution that ACTUALLY works!

If anyone has some HELPFUL advice, please share.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Wear a condom, use densensitizing cream, get her to give you a BJ before you start on her... Pull out and give her some oral or switch positions, think of Oprah...

C


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

A LOT of lube can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bluesky (Jan 29, 2011)

If you have tried all of the recommended methods, learn to accept it.
Discuss this with your wife so you can both come to terms with it.
Some people are crippled, impotent, blind, etc.
You have premature ejaculation.

Learn to embrace your challenge and just work around it.
It sounds like you have already by using oral.

Keep an open mind about it.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

NewZealand,

I have the same issue more or less. I haven't found anything yet that actually worked for me either. Not that my wife cares, I think she'd rather have it over quickly anyway...


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

slap the ham 6-8 times a day, give it a month and then jump her bones. Call me in the morning. 
Seriously, if you are getting sex 1-2 times a month I can understand, but if you're getting it every day and you still can't last more than a few minutes then you have a problem. Slap the ham, what do ya have to loose?
Mouse


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

I concur with smackdown completely. I am 46 and in what is more or less a sexless marriage. On the very rare occasion (like 3-4 times a year) my wife actually lets me have sex with her, I ejaculate very quickly...maybe within a couple of minutes (MAX!) of being inside her. It makes me feel guilty and her unfulfilled. I suspect it is because it happens so rarely that subconsciously I want to 'plant my seed' quickly before she changes her mind.
In my younger days with other girlfriends when I had a very active sex life...like atleast once a day, I NEVER suffered from PE...I can only think it was because I was getting it so often.

Now its like...??...when you are really thirsty you don't take little sips you gulp it down and all too quickly the glass is empty!

All I can suggest to NewZealand is to have alot more sex with his wife...the unfortunate thing about that is that it takes two....and if his wife (just like mine) isn't interested....he's up the creek without a paddle!


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Try doing some male kegel exercises and practice pacing your breath while you're in there.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Did you ever read the "she comes first" or follow up book?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I'd rather cum too quickly than take too long.

masterbation more frequently might help

or give her oral then penetration then when your getting close to cumming stop and give her more oral until you calm down a bit then back to penetration. repeat and rinse repeat and rinse.


also try going slow and deep mybe even go as deep as you can and grind your pibic bone on her clit.then fast again until you start feeling like your close then slow down. pay attention to the feeling your getting so you know when to slow down.


or try going for round two you should be able to last longer the second time around.


tell her she so hot you can't help it and don't make it stressfull. sex should be fun and.


you could also get a toy to use for a while before you penetrate.

good luck


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## soccermom (Oct 13, 2010)

New Zealand,

As a wife to a man with PE, I applaud you for writing and for wanting to take control of this situation. My DH also suffers from PE BUT he won't talk about it and he thinks all is well, whereas I am left in the cold feeling like he could care less. I hope you find the answers and share them here.

SM


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## NewZealand (Mar 2, 2011)

You are all just wonderful, and so willing to help. I am going to try a few different methods that I have read about on the net. I think for a quick fix, I may resort to going back to the mens clinic, here in Auckland and I will get another round of injections that make you stay hard for at least an hour or so - maybe once I inject I will also put a condom on and at least that way when I cum, it will be in the condom and then I can take it off and give her, what she so badly wants....


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## NewZealand (Mar 2, 2011)

I remember a few years ago I did take the injection and we made amazing love - she actually commented and said that the stuff was amazing - so this could be the way to go.


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## MardiGrasMambo (Mar 5, 2011)

Sounds like you may have your answer...good luck and I also really like the other "rinse-repeat" suggestion above...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

So, exactly how long should a man be able to last inside under normal conditions if he does not have premature ejaculation. I always came within a few minutes, but it never seemed weird to me. If a guy is horny and being stimulated, I don't know what would cause it to go on and on. I have read to where men can learn to control when they ejaculate. I've never understood that either.


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## daison (Mar 3, 2011)

My husband usually lasts a few minutes and it's fine by me. We can extend it simply by switching positions. Sometimes he makes me wait a bit so he can go a bit longer which is actually really intense and romantic for me- just staring at each other. 

If he went an hour as some men claim to... I couldn't deal with it.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

daison;273589If he went an hour as some men claim to... I couldn't deal with it.[/QUOTE said:


> That was the way my wife was too. She said things could start to get raw if the process lasted a long time, which makes sense to me; that's how friction works.


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## airplane (Mar 15, 2011)

NewZealand said:


> I am married to my love for 19 years, and I suffer from that horrible, and very embarrassing thing called - premature ejaculation. This is VERY frustrating for my wife, and so hard for her. She does get to cum, I have to resort to oral, and she loves it when she cums - but she says that the natural way is so much more satisfying, because she can have multiple orgasms. In all our years of marriage this has been tough because she really wants me to last longer and enjoy a little more, and so do I want to go longer. I have tried foreplay and all the recommended stuff, I have even done the technique of pulling out of her, before I ejaculate - nothing works!
> 
> I know there are more of you males out there, that are perhaps to shy to admit you suffer too - have any of you got the solution that ACTUALLY works!
> 
> If anyone has some HELPFUL advice, please share.


100 mg of Zoloft will do the trick or any of the other Anti Dedressions. Note just because your using it for off label use; ie: premature ejaculation, it does not mean your depressed or will it act like a anti depression med for depression. I use off label for sleeping aid - Remeron which is a anti depression med.

Many of the anti depressions delay and or make it impossible to ejaculate or climax. It's in the higher doses that it prevents climaxing. Talk to your doctor about these options.


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## sntdwn2ufrmhvn (May 20, 2010)

from a womans point of view...IF there was lots of foreplay i would be just fine with the actual sex lasting no more than 10 mins, sometimes i'm way ready to be done way before he is done..to me it's annoying. there is a myth going around that good sex equals an hour or more of sex and that to me is not true. with lots of foreplay, i'm good with like 10 mins. now if you are talking less than that then i dunno...have you spoke to a dr.?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

southbound said:


> That was the way my wife was too. She said things could start to get raw if the process lasted a long time, which makes sense to me; that's how friction works.


thats what ky is for if it starts to get dry.

or lick the old man in the boat a few more mins. then resume


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

100mg/daily is not a trivial dose of sertraline, FYI


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

Define PE?....All I can guess is that it means you cum before you want to...
I guess all males would like to be a stud and go on and on, just as they do in pornos giving their partners mind blowing multiple orgasms....but real life isnt like that atall. 

Given the opporunity, I always make (or try to) my wife come first because I just know that as I am gagging for it, I wouldn't last long enough to make her come 'normally'.

In general, ladies (because gents are too shy to admit it or they lie!!!!!!!) how long do your 'men' last?


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## manmeet008 (Apr 21, 2011)

You can easily get over this problem by just searching for premature Ejaculation in the Google . Pills like Regenerect , viagra and endless will be in front of you. Just search them thoroughly before using them and your problem will be solved . But be careful as internet is filled with wrong content to.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

PBear said:


> think of Oprah...
> 
> C


:rofl:

seriously, have her make you cum with another method then keep you stimulated til you are fully erect again, then go


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> 100mg/daily is not a trivial dose of sertraline, FYI


No it's not. My best friends dh has this problem. His was solved by 10mg of an anti-anxiety med. I don't even think he has to take it everyday for it work.


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## Nicbrownn80 (Mar 20, 2011)

Sounds like your wife wants to work on this issue with you, since she does want oral if you cum to fast.

So why not practice, Sometimes when I see my wife really enjoying it i just think of something totally different, maybe a hard math problem or work .... w/e works for you. Then you will not think about how hot it is but instead of w/e you choice and hopefully not cum. Or think of your mother in law, mother, Oprah, or anything else you just hate or is totally unrelated to sex.


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## Wrench (Mar 21, 2011)

Try de-sentitizing cream then a plain-jane condom, we used some heating massage oil the other night and after I had a condom on I was basically numb

Not what I was going for but it could work wonders for you! And slower breathing helps too.


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

you can finish with oral, have her tell you that you can cum in her mouth if you finish sex first and dont get off, that might motivate you to keep it in until the BJ. I have almost got off a few times in my wife but the thought of letting go in her mouth and her tasting me is so much more rewarding and getting a nice rim job before she sucks me off. You can think about dead fish heads in a bucket while your having sex so you dont get off or puking.


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## _alice_ (Apr 19, 2011)

If my husband seems like he might be getting there, I always whisper "Think of the war!" or "Say the alphabet!" or something random. It makes him laugh and gives us more time.


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## rotor (Aug 28, 2010)

Learn how to give her multiple orgasms with 2 fingers using a come here motion on the G spot and then go for the sex. It won’t cure the PE but she should be a much happier camper.

Cheers

rotor


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## rppearso (Feb 4, 2011)

Or go down on her to get her all worked up so she cums sooner.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Today is Queen Elizabeth's 85th birthday. Think of having sex with her.


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## castingabout (Mar 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Today is Queen Elizabeth's 85th birthday. Think of having sex with her.


 Come on now.... You KNOW Queen Elizabeth is HOT!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She really was cute back in the day. like 1950.


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

My husband finishes in just a few minutes, 1 - 5 probably, I've never timed it.

The way to keep it going is by using your other ****, the dildo. A sex therarpist told me this technique. He said guys need to get over thinking only their **** will do, and think of the dildo as their other ****. When they cum fast, they use their other ****. 

I get sore after 5 minutes of penetration. Instead, give me a little penetration and learn about the hidden parts of the clitoris, which run underneath the outer lips of the vulva. Oil that up, rub hard all over on the outer lips, and get her all hot and see if she likes that! 

It's not all about the ****. For me, I can't orgasm that way. It feels good, but the main pleasure to me comes from my clit.

So talk to your wife, and enjoy what works for you. 

I think I need to start a post on just being comfortable with what works, and get over our false thoughts of how sex should be. 

I have so much pleasure when I leave the "should"s behind!!!

For me, the main problem is a hurried man, not a fast ejaculator. Unless of course it's only 1 stroke.


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## Lord Tremendous (Apr 14, 2011)

My advice is to just relax. Don't worry about how long you'll last, or leaving her unsatisfied if you finish too quickly. Have you ever tried smoking pot before sex? It's a very common practise where I'm from, and it usually makes me last alot longer (15-20 min). In any case, the average lenth of time it takes for men to ejaculate after starting intercourse is 3-5 minutes, so don't beat yourself up too much.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Topical Benzocaine 10%


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## bigdaddy41 (Jun 17, 2010)

Does anyone know if "the little blue pill" helps with premature ejaculation?:scratchhead:


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## DennisNLA (Jan 26, 2010)

bigdaddy41 said:


> Does anyone know if "the little blue pill" helps with premature ejaculation?:scratchhead:


My understanding is that it does not help with PE, but will allow you to be ready for round two much quicker, sometimes right after the first load is blown.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

bigdaddy41 said:


> Does anyone know if "the little blue pill" helps with premature ejaculation?:scratchhead:


I don't have a PE issue, but I have tried Cialis. From my experience, it didn't affect either PE or delayed ejaculation... It just keeps you ready to go. So the first time might still go quick, you might be ready again quicker, but you might not actually be able to finish the second time before someone gets bored or sore. Unfortunately, there's no magic pill (yet).

Having said that, there's nothing wrong with talking to your doctor about one of the options out there. With the right partner and situation, they can be fun. 

C


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## imrys (May 24, 2011)

Best thing I ever found for it was Vicodin. Not the best solution but if it works...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Premature ejaculation drug shows promise - Health - msnbc.com

Late stage trials in Europe generally means they are 5 years from FDA approval. On the other hand it's not a new drug just a new off label purpose so FDA approval could be much quicker.


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## irish cple (May 23, 2011)

This might sound a bit crazy but buy yourself a strapon and it will spice up your sex life. I done this and we havent looked back since, we have sex for hours with this as even when i cum i can still use it untill i get hard again


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## Rough Patch Sewing (Apr 18, 2011)

Having sex more often with your wife, the injection, male kegal exercises, your new method (cunnilingus, intercourse, pull out, cunnilingus then ejaculation), condom and if necessary, regular masturbation seems like a winning formula.

Can you update us on any progress?


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## NewZealand (Mar 2, 2011)

UPDATE - Hi there lovely people, wow thanks for all the advice and responses. Things are a little better, the foreplay has helped and oral is great. One thing that has REALLY helped is the weight loss. It is amazing how much weight loss has helped. My sex drive has increased and I am fitter which has helped me mentally as well. My body is getting the right nourishment now, and eating the right stuff and definitely helped with the premature ejaculation. I can honestly say and feel that the kilos I have lost, and correct nourishment has definitely improved my sex life - its working great!


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## soccermom (Oct 13, 2010)

New Zealand that is awesome. 

Unfortunately for my hubby, he is extremely fit but the PE is still there. Any luck with any technique?



NewZealand said:


> UPDATE - Hi there lovely people, wow thanks for all the advice and responses. Things are a little better, the foreplay has helped and oral is great. One thing that has REALLY helped is the weight loss. It is amazing how much weight loss has helped. My sex drive has increased and I am fitter which has helped me mentally as well. My body is getting the right nourishment now, and eating the right stuff and definitely helped with the premature ejaculation. I can honestly say and feel that the kilos I have lost, and correct nourishment has definitely improved my sex life - its working great!


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

soccermom, 

Viagra or Cialis can help. Losing weight can help. More frequent sex can help. Checking for low-T and addressing, if needed can help.

For me, a combination of all of the above helped a lot.


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## Katya (Jun 23, 2011)

Going back to some earlier posts, I don't get why masturbation could help matters here. I've always felt that my husbands PE is because he trained himself to come quickly and easily through years of masturbation. How does doing it more help? Give you callouses so you don't feel things as much?
Things were better when dh was on anti-depressants for a while--I don't know what kind it was. He didn't want to stay on those (guy pride about depression I think) so after a year or two weaned off, which on one hand is great, but on the sex hand, not so much. It's not uncommon for him to ejaculate even before he can get inside me, and that's with minimal hands-on (or mouth-on) from me. Usually though, he can only go for 1-2 minutes tops after penetration. It's long been a source of contention between us, as he could never effectively 'finish off' for me. 
The weight issue is interesting, as dh is a good 50 pounds overweight, but he's also had the PE since we got married when he was a skinny young thing.


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## Master.of.the.Cave (Jan 16, 2011)

G


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## JustAboutDone (Feb 3, 2011)

Hey gang, I suffered from this for years (since I started having sex!). I'm in my early 30's and in good shape. I finally found a solution that works great if you and your spouse are ok with condoms during sex. My wife and I have sex a about 3-4 times a month now -- about a year ago I starting buying condoms with sensitiviy cream inside them, and they work great!! What I do, is after things start heating up in bed -- I slip it on. Then I finger (or orally pleasure) my wife while she uses a vibe and climaxes, this usually takes 5-10 minutes -- the key is no penetration during this time. After her climax, and 5-10 minutes of the sensitivity cream soaking in, we are both anxious for a good romp. I can last 10-15 minutes with no hesitation during the session (going as fast/slow, hard/soft as needed depending on the mood of the night). I used to come in 30-60 seconds and thought that a fix was hopeless -- now we have the greatest sex we have ever had since being married! Both of us finish up 100% satisfied and there is little cleanup involved since we use a condom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Slim04 (Jul 7, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Rough Patch Sewing said:


> Having sex more often with your wife, the injection, male kegal exercises, your new method (cunnilingus, intercourse, pull out, cunnilingus then ejaculation), condom and if necessary, regular masturbation seems like a winning formula.
> 
> Can you update us on any progress?


This works for me. then bury your face till she cums at least once but preferably 2 or 3 times first then penetrate to your finish. 

she cums first is the way to go here.


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## Closer (Jul 15, 2011)

I tried masturbation before it sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't.

Lasting longer isn't really an issue, in my knowledge, when you can make her orgasm or at least, leave her satisfied in bed.

There are a lot of techniques that you can put in your arsenal without using your penis.

Oral and fingering techniques works better than penetration most of the time.


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## thegreatsideswipe (Jul 18, 2011)

Masturbation is a hit or miss. If you constantly masturbate and cum quickly, your brain will interpret this as normal and you may find yourself suffering even more. Best bet is start and stop or just plain old relaxed paced breaths.


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