# An empowering last couple of days



## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

For some reason the last couple of days have been incredulously awesome.
It's like all of a sudden I was stricken with some serious realization that I don't need my stbx. 
These last few months I've been balling my eyeballs out, asking like everyone does, Why?
But now, it's a waste of time and energy. 
I could've easily been one of the biggest cry babies on here. It really just feels like my heart finally aligned with my brain some. Am I completely over it? No. I love him. I always will. But I had to stop and look at everything I am accomplishing without him. It's really an odd feeling, but I hope it doesn't go away. It just feels like a huge weight was lifted. 
I feel ready and empowered to take my own life by the reigns and get movin'.
If a man was meant to be in my life, then great, but I refuse to wait for this one to come around. By the time he does, if he ever does, it will be too late, I'm sure. I will deny his ass like a maxed out VISA LOL (that's what came to mind first, oh well)
I hope this is the start of my new life. I can't wait, I just want to be free!!!.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Thats great to hear, embrace the new positive you and keep it up! This roller coaster is one crazy ride and you need to hold onto the highs and keep you moving forward.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Hooorrrraaaayyyyy! You have made it to the other side ;o) Feels good and you know what yo know. Life is good.


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Honestly the best part has been cutting off my stbx, the very same way he used to cut me off. I'd be dropping off my baby or something and I'd be in the doorway and in the middle of me talking, he would say, oh I gotta go, and close the door on my face. Today was the first time I got to return the favor. He works for me still and he came to pick up equipment. I opened the door, handed him the bag, gave him instructions and then said, "ok thanks, see u later". I could hear him trying to think of something to say. His prolonged "uuummmnmmm" didn't do anything for me. I just closed the door. And now I notice he keeps me on the phone longer, for no reason. It's like dead air. So, while I don't think he has a change of heart or anything, I know he has something short circuiting in his brain. Probably because he's wondering wtf? Because it does feel like the change was so sudden, he may think I have something up my sleeve or something. But all I want is to move on, get past the sadness, grieving. ****, I've been grieving his loss since I was 6mos pregnant, and now my baby is going to be 6months old. Its time already.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Being separated has really been a wake up call. I mean seriously, who is this man that I married? 
The man I first met was ambitious, goal/career driven, loving, kind. And now? I see him from a distance and he is totally not any of that. Reality has shown me his true self - Selfish, un-motivated, and just a plain *******. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's got spoiled brat tendencies. And he's quite atrocious. I can't believe I was so heartbroken. 
Seeing the 'real' him definitely is the ONE thing that makes it easier every day to move on. As it happens, I've had moments where I'm like alright, I do sort of miss him, but then, he'll do something completely douche baggy to snap me out of it. 
His arrogance and laziness in life is too much. I cannot wait for the day when life humbles him. It'll probably not come soon, but when it comes, I hope he changes -- for the next poor woman he hooks up with, because how he treats me, no woman should ever have to be treated this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Sakaye, I am the same way. When I think back on the man my H became shortly after we married....now I am like WTH was I thinking. LIke Johnny Nash...I see clearly now, the rain is gone.I still miss certain things, but they are fading fast ;o) Glad to read you have made it over and moving forward.


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

hesnothappy said:


> Glad to read you have made it over and moving forward.


Thank you!! 
Amazing what life shows us if we just open our eyes! 
I now know that he is doing me a favor. 
But I will say one thing,
I hope he finds who he truly is again, and I still wish him the best. There was so much good in him when we met, and so much hopes and so much dreams.
He may have turned into this major a$$hole, but, that doesn't mean I am gonna curse his whole life and send him ill wishes. I still would like him to succeed, and I hope someday to see his films.
I just don't want to be around him. I just want to be away, and have as minimal a contact that 2 people can have with a child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

yes sakaye...this has helped me tremendously to get over him.I cut all contact and refused to speak to him even over the phone...it was hard but I did it...and is truly the way to go.Now I am fine I can see him or talk on the phone with him,it doesn't bother me.
I am not to the point to wish him happiness though...it'll take time for that...especially if he stays with the OW.
He is very selfish at the moment and uses the kids for his selfish needs.But the most I can do at the moment is being friendly to him when I see him and I only will do it for the kids.I do not wish to be his friend,to me is impossible to have friendship after everything he's done to me...if he wanted to be friends with me he should have properly exited the marriage not backstabbing ,cheating,lying and betraying.

Good for you girl,I'm happy for you!It feels great on the other side doesn't it!


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

Very happy for you. 

Before I met my wife I was dumped by a five year relationship that sucked but it was my known world of the time. It seemed devastating at the time even though I wasnt happy, I wanted it back then voila! 

Best thing that ever happened to me because I am here now happily married to my beautiful wife of 12 years.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Thanks for sharing Sakaye. It's nice to hear that things can get better. I like the idea of looking truthfully at the ex. I am still looking at him through rose-coloured glasses because I still love him. But there are little cracks sometimes when I think "he's not very nice". Just looking forward to the time when I really see him for what he is.


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