# midlife crisis exit strategy



## douglas (Feb 21, 2010)

I open this up to thoughts and advice from the forum. If your wife were: going through a gnarly midlife crisis, exhibited OCPD tendencies at the same time, did many things which were uncharacteristic of her and well beneath her standards in a very short period of time, realized that she had issues and problems and decided to seek individual therapy on her own and agree to go to marital counseling and couples therapy, yet maintains that her husband is still "crazy" and still has "issues", is still very sensitive to the word "affair", and has suggested that her old "self" is gone and is not coming back, what is the best way to provide for an exit strategy for her to return to the relationship? I suspect that she is awash in guilt and yet wants to assert control and perhaps even blame me for all of her indiscretions. It is unlikely that she will come groveling back into the relationship, nevertheless if an appropriate exit strategy were provided she might avail herself of it without having to offer an overt apology to allow us to get back on the same track and the same page.

Any thoughts as to the best approach would be welcome.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Write out a list of what you need in a marriage from her. Tell her you welcome her back, as long as this list is what she will contribute. Things like access to her passwords, no trips without you or without your acceptance, dedicated 15 hours a week spent together, things like that.

It's logical and practical. That may make more sense to her.


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