# Sex, Porn, Masturbation, Newlywed...



## HighSexDrive31 (Aug 11, 2012)

I am newly married to someone that i had been friends with for about 1 year. 
We have only been married a few months and the sex has already slowed.
I am in my early 30s and crave sex with my partner all the time.
I do not desire outside help for sex, for just his kiss and touch can turn me into an animal for him.
He has BDSM fetish and other things that are new to me. 
I have let him experiment and have done what he asked me to.
Of course i dont want to do it all the time, for i find those fetish a bit gross and out of my comfort zone, yet i still do this as compromise for things to go smooth.
He had been celibate for 12 years before me.
I am pretty sure he grew into a porn obsession/addiction.
His computer is full of porn and xxx photos...he wont let me near it and doesnt want me to use his pc.
He left it on once and i got on it to turn it off and was curious...i looked at his bookmarks and it was all porn.
I felt disgusted....I asked myself if I had married a huge pervert...Sure, i understand, men love porn, but this was too much.
Before we got married, i did mention to him that I am not really into porn, and I asked for him to do me a favor and watch it when Im not around...not at home...or if im on period or something like this..i even let up and said, sure watch when im in the shower, i just dont wanna see him looking. Am I a ***** for asking this?
I admit i am a bit insecure, and I know he is not really into the *woman* on the porn but into the things they are doing, but then again, when he is having sex with me, and wanting to do those fetish from the porn, isnt his vision of those women?
I also have issues with masturbating to the porn.
I feel if a guys desire to watch porn and masturbate is so high, why even get married? I am right there, ready and willing to go...so i dont understand. I even offer to watch the porn together....do mutual masturbation..we have even made our own porn together, of his fetish fantasies. 
I forgot to mention, the other night we were watching tv, and randomly he says *you know i havent masturbated in awhile* i was like wtf?
Anyway,
my point is, am I wrong for feeling this way, or asking him to hold off on viewing porn/masturbating when I am around....I totally dont care so much if I am not home or out of town...but i once caught him when I was sleeping in the same room and it was a huge turn off. It turned into a fight because I had asked him before our marriage never to do that because an ex of mine did that and ended up cheating on me with Adult Friend Finder.com.....
Is it wrong for me to want my husband to only desire me for intercourse? Is it wrong to want to be made love to? He says Im obsessed with wanting sex with him, yet i feel hes obsessed with wanting to view porn........
Is it abnormal i wanna make love to my new husband? Ugh its so frustrating...
I really am about to just giveup...i say i dont care and offer him to go beat it and he denies.....
Of course I dont want him to, but if his urge is that strong, what can i possibly do?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

No dear.
Nothing is wrong with you.

1]You are sexually attracted to your husband
2]You have been faithful to him even though its not being reciprocated .
3]You have given him tremendous leverage, agreed on boundaries and he has broken them .
4] You have catered to his sexual fetishes,even though it made you uncomfortable.
5] Your sexual needs are NOT being met. And you are high drive.
6]You explained to him your past trauma with an ex who also abused porn and cheated on you........

What has he done to fulfill YOUR psychosexual needs?

Need I go on?

Don't be surprised if some tell you that his behaviour is
** normal ** with all men.........

So what can you do.

This is the first year of your marriage.

Have a good look at yourself, deal with your insecurity issues,LOVE yourself.
Very soon you will have some very tough decisions to make,and you will need all the inner strength and resolve you can muster,
to help you make the RIGHT decision.

At least you deserve some RESPECT in your marriage.


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