# Wanted to say this but didnt...



## DevotedHubby47

So.. Wifey said tonight (after her talking about dropping her diet), that its fine as long as I dont get a “ wandering eye” and start looking at young, fit women”. 

I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types. 

I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Livvie

I wouldn't say anything at all.


----------



## Casual Observer

What was her motivation for dropping her diet?
What was her motivation for starting?
Are there health issues? 
What is your physical state? 

It's encouraging that she sees her own sexuality as important, that she cares enough to care what you think about how you think of her in a visual, sexual way. Not that the two have to be the same. You have something to work with. There are men and women, who are willing to let themselves go to get away from sex. A way of trying to stop their partner from wanting them sexually. Your wife does not appear to be one of them.

The other side. There's always an other side. It's said, over and over and over again, so much so that maybe it's not true, that people who are more fit, who have fewer medical issues, will have a higher level of desire. That people who can look at themselves in the mirror and like what they see are better partners in bed. So if that's the case, then you've got to make sure that, whatever skin she's in, she's very comfortable in that skin, because you can be well overweight and still be confident and secure. Or a playboy figure that's terribly insecure.


----------



## sokillme

DevotedHubby47 said:


> So.. Wifey said tonight (after her talking about dropping her diet), that its fine as long as I dont get a “ wandering eye” and start looking at young, fit women”.
> 
> I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types.
> 
> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Sounds like a good thing to say. Take her aside one night in bed tell her you want to tell her something important. Look her in the eye and tell her that confidently. Say that think body type comment like this - "I know you are concerned about your diet, but I won't you to know I think you sexy and I have always thought you are sexy. Even if you were to put on a little weight (_note: notice how I made that a hypothetical and didn't say she had put on weight_), I have always been into a thick body type anyway, and I think you would look hot. If you want to diet that's cool with me, or if you don't. I just want to be the man who gets to be with you. Who gets to look at you. Who gets to love you." Something like that, I am couching my words here a little bit for those more delicate.

If you are not good with words write her a little note with what you just wrote, couching the thick comment by saying IF she gets thick, (you don't want to call her thick or that will be the only thing remembers.) "IF" she gets thick. Also not so much on the strong sexual appetite and show interest in you but YOU show interest in her. Let her know you have an appetite for her because she is attractive in however that is natural to you. Tell her you that you love to make love to her and her diet has nothing to do with that. 

You should be telling her this stuff every time it pops in your head. Don't be afraid tell her. She will like that.

If you think about it later text her or tell write her a little note. "You looked stunning today." or "You looked hot as hell!" Stuff like that. If you constantly tell her this stuff she will grow more confident in your attraction to her and in her attractiveness.


----------



## frusdil

DevotedHubby47 said:


> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.


If you'd used the word thick, yes that would have been a massive screw up. MASSIVE.

Use words like womanly, voluptuous, shapely. Do not use words like thick, large etc.


----------



## DownByTheRiver

DevotedHubby47 said:


> So.. Wifey said tonight (after her talking about dropping her diet), that its fine as long as I dont get a “ wandering eye” and start looking at young, fit women”.
> 
> I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types.
> 
> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It's okay to say it if you don't go into detail about it. Just tell her you like some meat on a woman's bones and leave it like that.


----------



## StarFires

DevotedHubby47 said:


> I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types.
> 
> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.


Yep, you would have screwed up big time. That's way too much, too many different thoughts = mixed signals. Some would be complimentary to her (um sorta) and some seem to be giving her hints. If you said all that as my husband, I'd soon be asking "What did you mean by this?" and then later "What did you mean by that?" There would be no end to you regretting having said anything at all. LOL

Best to keep things simple for us girls. Let a compliment be a compliment. And let it be complimentary to her, not all about you. She would have loved it if, when she announced quitting her diet, you shouted GOOD!!! And then went to hug her and rub her booty to let her know you like it lucious.

See how simple that was? 
You would have gotten lucky that night.....or right there on the kitchen floor.😜

Make the subject about you at the appropriate time. This time wasn't about your preferences. This one was about her, which she initiated when she brought up quitting her diet. So, that was a time to compliment her since complimenting her was your intention, and it's also what she was fishing for.

Let me show you how we women are so that you can pick up on her signal next time:
To some degree or another, most of us women have some dissatisfaction with our weight, our body image. Oftentimes, we are concerned about how the man in our life feels about that. It was obvious that this is the reason she brought up dropping her diet with you. She was gauging your satisfaction with her. Thus, the comment about other women and you getting a wandering eye. All she needed was an approving sign from you, which is the reason it wasn't the time for you tell her how much you want a woman to be interested in you. Get it?

She could want to jump your bones every day and every night. If that's what you want, then you would welcome her interest. But if she dislikes her body, she isn't going to do that no matter how much she wants to. Many women don't have sex because "I feel fat!" That causes shame and fear that you dislike her body too. She needs to know that you like all of her.

How did you respond? What did you say to her?


----------



## Diana7

Just say I love you very much and fancy you to bits just as you are. Less is more.


----------



## DevotedHubby47

StarFires said:


> Yep, you would have screwed up big time. That's way too much, too many different thoughts = mixed signals. Some would be complimentary to her (um sorta) and some seem to be giving her hints. If you said all that as my husband, I'd soon be asking "What did you mean by this?" and then later "What did you mean by that?" There would be no end to you regretting having said anything at all. LOL
> 
> Best to keep things simple for us girls. Let a compliment be a compliment. And let it be complimentary to her, not all about you. She would have loved it if, when she announced quitting her diet, you shouted GOOD!!! And then went to hug her and rub her booty to let her know you like it lucious.
> 
> See how simple that was?
> You would have gotten lucky that night.....or right there on the kitchen floor.
> 
> Make the subject about you at the appropriate time. This time wasn't about your preferences. This one was about her, which she initiated when she brought up quitting her diet. So, that was a time to compliment her since complimenting her was your intention, and it's also what she was fishing for.
> 
> Let me show you how we women are so that you can pick up on her signal next time:
> To some degree or another, most of us women have some dissatisfaction with our weight, our body image. Oftentimes, we are concerned about how the man in our life feels about that. It was obvious that this is the reason she brought up dropping her diet with you. She was gauging your satisfaction with her. Thus, the comment about other women and you getting a wandering eye. All she needed was an approving sign from you, which is the reason it wasn't the time for you tell her how much you want a woman to be interested in you. Get it?
> 
> She could want to jump your bones every day and every night. If that's what you want, then you would welcome her interest. But if she dislikes her body, she isn't going to do that no matter how much she wants to. Many women don't have sex because "I feel fat!" That causes shame and fear that you dislike her body too. She needs to know that you like all of her.
> 
> How did you respond? What did you say to her?


Wow, thanks! That was an informative and helpful response! Why are women so complicated, LOL! I need the instruction manual that includes everything you wrote, I didn’t get one when I got married! 

I just told her that she needs to do whatever makes her feel better about herself and that I’ve always been and still am attracted to her regardless of whether she goes on a diet or not. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## JustTheWife

frusdil said:


> If you'd used the word thick, yes that would have been a massive screw up. MASSIVE.
> 
> Use words like womanly, voluptuous, shapely. Do not use words like thick, large etc.


I agree and I'm not saying that you should throw around words like thick to your wife or anyone. Very likely to be a disaster.

However, I'm no expert on slang, etc but FYI, "thick" or ("thicc" as it's evolved) is the word that most people under 30 would use for "voluptuous" or "curvy". Or even that corny one "rubenesque" or whatever. It basically means "not thin" rather than "fat". Again, i'm not suggesting using it but one person's "voluptuous" is another person's "thicc". It's all over social media with a positive meaning.


----------



## aaarghdub

Honestly, from a guy’s perspective guy, it just flat out sucks being in this situation... why? 

1) Most women will choose to believe their inner critic vs their partner 99 times out a 100.

2) Most women really care more about what other women think of them than we do. So it’s much easier to emotionally blameshift to the guy when in reality the issue is her dismissing his feelings for her inner critic or “society” feelings.

3) OP is 100% correct, a sex-positive attitude and sexual confidence in a relationship is waaaay more attractive than. The more sex and attention a guy gets, the fewer women he notices.

4) Women have a double-standard in that confidence is required of a man and a prerequisite for sexual desire but men are told we have to accommodate low confidence. Are some men jerks and superficial... yes but not as many as you think.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Personal

.


----------



## moon7

DevotedHubby47 said:


> So.. Wifey said tonight (after her talking about dropping her diet), that its fine as long as I dont get a “ wandering eye” and start looking at young, fit women”.
> 
> I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types.
> 
> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



I would LOVE to hear that if i was your wife.

My situation: slowly losing baby2 weight (26lbs). Baby1 was easy bc i breatsfeeded non stop, but baby2 completely stoped breastfeeding at 3 months. And my husband complain about my weight (5'5-167) but wont watch the kids for me to go to the gym and when i start dieting he brings pizza, pastries, cakes, hamburguers, even though we have dinner home, and, well, i dont resist.


----------



## DevotedHubby47

moon7 said:


> I would LOVE to hear that if i was your wife.
> 
> My situation: slowly losing baby2 weight (26lbs). Baby1 was easy bc i breatsfeeded non stop, but baby2 didnt stoped breastfeeding at 3 months. And my husband complain about my weight (5'5-167) but wont watch the kids for me to go to the gym and when i start dieting he brings pizza, pastries, cakes, hamburguers, even though we have dinner home, and, well, i dont resist.


Sounds like you might be in the minority but glad to hear it! 

I remember (many years ago) my wifes breasts engorged after child birth.. I did my duty and took care of them as best I could LOL! Sorry to be so graphic but a women’s swollen, milk filled breasts are a huge turn on! OMG I miss that! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## aine

DevotedHubby47 said:


> So.. Wifey said tonight (after her talking about dropping her diet), that its fine as long as I dont get a “ wandering eye” and start looking at young, fit women”.
> 
> I wanted to tell her that body type doesnt matter much (assuming she’s healthy), I would rather have a wife with a strong sexual appetite and shows an interest in me than a playboy playmate with no interest in me. “Sexy” isnt defined by looks.. Its an attitude IMO. Besides, I am extremely attracted to “thick” body types.. I have no attraction to women who are thin, muscular or “model” types.
> 
> I decided not to say that.. Would I have really screwed up if I did? I just want her to know shes sexy without needing to try and get real thin.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Just joke with her and say 'if you only have an eye for me and show me, there will be no problem.'


----------



## Lakesparrow

sokillme said:


> Sounds like a good thing to say. Take her aside one night in bed tell her you want to tell her something important. Look her in the eye and tell her that confidently. Say that think body type comment like this - "I know you are concerned about your diet, but I won't you to know I think you sexy and I have always thought you are sexy. Even if you were to put on a little weight (_note: notice how I made that a hypothetical and didn't say she had put on weight_), I have always been into a thick body type anyway, and I think you would look hot. If you want to diet that's cool with me, or if you don't. I just want to be the man who gets to be with you. Who gets to look at you. Who gets to love you." Something like that, I am couching my words here a little bit for those more delicate.
> 
> If you are not good with words write her a little note with what you just wrote, couching the thick comment by saying IF she gets thick, (you don't want to call her thick or that will be the only thing remembers.) "IF" she gets thick. Also not so much on the strong sexual appetite and show interest in you but YOU show interest in her. Let her know you have an appetite for her because she is attractive in however that is natural to you. Tell her you that you love to make love to her and her diet has nothing to do with that.
> 
> You should be telling her this stuff every time it pops in your head. Don't be afraid tell her. She will like that.
> 
> If you think about it later text her or tell write her a little note. "You looked stunning today." or "You looked hot as hell!" Stuff like that. If you constantly tell her this stuff she will grow more confident in your attraction to her and in her attractiveness.


THIS. I can't even imagine hearing this. I'm not really in love w my husband anymore...but if he talked like this I might be.


----------



## sokillme

Lakesparrow said:


> THIS. I can't even imagine hearing this. I'm not really in love w my husband anymore...but if he talked like this I might be.


Maybe without the typos.  I swear my mind sees other words as I am typing. I only see the typos later.


----------

