# Husband said: "More kids or divorce."



## melaniashh (Sep 8, 2012)

We are married for 10 years, and we have a lovely 3-year-old girl. 

My husband has been recently talking about having more kids. I had a very difficult time giving birth to my daughter. I ended up going through an emergency c-section, and my daughter went to the NICU for 3 days. After giving birth I had a long recovery period, and I wasn't planing on having more kids until I feel I'm ready. Honestly, I don't feel ready now--I have full-time work, and taking care of a 3-year-old is overwhelming already. 

On top of that, my husband and my parents always fight with each other every time they meet, and my husband has recently been saying that he will never ever allow my daughter to visit her grandparents any more. So I told him today that if you don't allow the girl to visit her grandparents, we will not have more babies."

He said "more kids or divorce." And he gives me 2 years to get pregnant, or he will file the papers.

What should I do?


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

I'm not sure what you should do, that would be up to you. But there are issues here that need to be addressed before bringing another child into it. 

I had 2 c-sections as well, they are painful and long recovery times. Did you two plan to have more than one child from the beginning?


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

kids are a deal breaker.... Dont want em... Dont want a man who wants em... Soumds like my worst nightmare. Sucks hun... Now you have a kid youd be stuck with by yourself... Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Do NOT let him push you into more kids you're not ready for. You will end up RESENTING the child and resenting him. ...don't care about HIM, but the child does NOT deserve to be resented for something s/he didn't do (ask to be born).


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

He gives you 2 years to get pregnant or he will divorce you? What a jerk. I would tell him he has 2 months to learn how to be nice or you will file papers. :smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow. What an attitude. Not even trying to understand WHY you're hesitant. Just treats you like a baby machine...dang.

I'd probably file on him, just because he's acting like a douche.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'd leave, children are normally a deal breaker for most as stated above. That feeling of his will not go away. How many more does he want?

If this helps at all, every pregnancy is different. I had gestational diabetes with my first two children and even close with my third. Weird huh? My iron level was very low with one and not the others. This does not come close with what you went through. I'm not sure if history would repeat itself with you. My bf had emergency C-section with one and not the others. I guess it depends on the reasoning and why it happened. If I had preeclampsia with my first, I would of never had a second or third child. 

My husband wanted children very badly. Actually, he would of been happy with one child and we have 2 together. His first wife did not want any children with him and they divorced.

Good luck. I can understand where you come from and I can understand where your husband comes from too. I wish I would of had a 4th child, but I didn't think we'd be comfortable financially. I had no idea my husband was going to get a promotion later in life. It's too late now and I still have that nagging feeling. My husband would of been all for it too. Good luck with whatever happens.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband wanted more kids and I felt I had my hands full with one while working full time as a CPA. My marriage was stable and happy so I went ahead and agreed to have another baby. He however never ever pushed or threatened me over it. He's too nice to do that.

Anyway that baby is now almost 10 and I have no regrets. We did get off to a rough start as she's NOTHING like me but we've worked it out and it's all good. She's my sweetest child. I ended up being so happy with her that I ended up having yet another child. 

Yes it's funny I went from wanting to stop at 1 to having 3 kids. LOL My husband and I laugh about that all the time now.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Get counseling

Tell your husband that his threats come off as being very controlling and that if he doesn't want to get help with you now, he might as well go ahead and file and save 2 years time.

DO NOT bring anymore children into this mess right now


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

He is handing out ultimatiums, about more kids or we get divorced? Honey pick divorce, he sounds controlling! Its your body, really!


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