# my husband's wishes



## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Hello My name is Sarah. I have been married for 7 years.I love my husband so much but our sex life with my husband has become monotonous.He started making different requests.he wants to imagine me with another man.I don't say anything to him even though I'm so embarrassed.I feel weird.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> Hello My name is Sarah. I have been married for 7 years.I love my husband so much but our sex life with my husband has become monotonous.He started making different requests.She wants to imagine me with another man.I don't say anything to him even though I'm so embarrassed.I feel weird.


So, is his intent to masturbate to these thoughts, or to role play as another man, or does he actually want you to have sex with another man? All three things have a different impact.

Also if that is your legal name, you might want to consider changing your ID.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> So, is his intent to masturbate to these thoughts, or to role play as another man, or does he actually want you to have sex with another man? All three things have a different impact.
> 
> Also if that is your legal name, you might want to consider changing your ID.


dont know.I think if he had the opportunity he would want to share me with someone else.

İts not legal name


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

It is a big jump to go from monotonous right to a threesome or cuckhold. Have you talked to him about how this makes you uncomfortable and maybe suggest something to spice it up without involving another person? 

Check out this site. Lots of great ideas to spice up your sex life while remaining solidly monogamous. 






Products Archive - Uncovering Intimacy







www.uncoveringintimacy.com


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> dont know.I think if he had the opportunity he would want to share me with someone else.
> 
> İts not legal name


Make sure he knows that it isn't going to ever happen in real life.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Make sure he knows that it isn't going to ever happen in real life.


I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> It is a big jump to go from monotonous right to a threesome or cuckhold. Have you talked to him about how this makes you uncomfortable and maybe suggest something to spice it up without involving another person?
> 
> Check out this site. Lots of great ideas to spice up your sex life while remaining solidly monogamous.
> 
> ...


I don't know how this will change our life.Thank you for link


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


Then why would you want to be with him? Did not give up your integrity for another person.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


That isn't logical thinking. 

For one, unless you failed to say it, he hasn't actually asked to share you with another man, correct? He has only said he wants to imagine (fantasize) about you being with another man. Those are two vastly different situations. So are you rejecting the idea of actually being with another man or are you rejecting the idea of allowing him to fantasize about it? You can't stop him from fantasizing, but you are completely within your rights to refuse to be with another man. 

And as for cheating, why do you conclude that is what he would do? Even if he does want to physically share you he won't get that if he goes out and cheats. You've been married to him for 7 years. You should know him well enough to decide if you think he is the cheating type or not.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Then why would you want to be with him? Did not give up your integrity for another person.


I love him he is a nice person,good husband but he has sexual fantasies that he can't control.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> That isn't logical thinking.
> 
> For one, unless you failed to say it, he hasn't actually asked to share you with another man, correct? He has only said he wants to imagine (fantasize) about you being with another man. Those are two vastly different situations. So are you rejecting the idea of actually being with another man or are you rejecting the idea of allowing him to fantasize about it? You can't stop him from fantasizing, but you are completely within your rights to refuse to be with another man.
> 
> And as for cheating, why do you conclude that is what he would do? Even if he does want to physically share you he won't get that if he goes out and cheats. You've been married to him for 7 years. You should know him well enough to decide if you think he is the cheating type or not.


if he can dream it, he may want the idea in reality.I don't know what to say if he offers me a day.and if i do we might want to continue this


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Saramiller444 said:


> ...our sex life with my husband has become monotonous...


I take it you are happy with your sex life & it is only monotonous for your husband?



Saramiller444 said:


> I don't know how this will change our life.Thank you for link


They might spice your sex life up a little in a safe manner.



Saramiller444 said:


> ...if he offers me a day.and if i do *we might want to continue this*...


Is this a typo or a Freudian slip?

Seriously, open your mind a little, not saying a threesome would be a good idea (although it _might_), or forming an intimate relationship with another couple would be a good idea (although it _might_), explore role play, toys, etc. Tell him you want to try pegging 

Seriously, if you are going to be married for 20, 30, 40 years the same-old same-old might get a little boring. Be open-minded & prudent.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

In France THIS is becoming more and more poplar , 
normally they say it is the husbands that are the first to bring this up in the relationship
it can start by just night time talk before or after sex , some men seem to get turned on by the idea of their wife with another man 
some even like the idea of the woman with a better lover , 
there ARE FORUMS THAT ONLY TAKE ABOUT THIS but most of them seem to be very extreme.

the first time a man brings this up to his wife or gf she thinks that he wants more sex and he wants to cheat 
but most of the men never have sex with another 
many stay at home they even help the wife pick out outfits for the night out with the other man 
they even drive the wife to the other mans hotel or bar and stay outside 

all they get out of it is the  knowing that their wife is having hot sex with a better lover 
there are men that call them selves a bull 
all so a big part of this is hearing every detail about what happened after 
some wife's send a photo of the man or a photo of the mans privets to their husband 

I have a friend that meets a woman in this way the wife is into some type of BDSM and her husband is not 
so they found this man that is divorce man he see no other women 
he is into all types of BDSM as he showed me and my wife his COLLECTION of toys 
thinks that I or my wife could never imagine but this is his thing 

ANY WAY getting back to the question 
some women like the husband to find the man or bull 
often men seem to pick a friend I think this is a bad idea 
as boss I worked for once said as advice to me 

never shyt on your own doorstep 
better to find someone that can be trusted 
i once read a story about a man that had this dream life style 
and they were friends with another couple for 12 years 
they lived 10km apart and often meet up for drinks the other couple got divorce and 
the idea of sharing the wife came up , it is a long story of how this second relationship if you can call it a relationship 
went on 
it ended with the bull finding a woman and things went back to normal except 
the odd man that they used for one night stands
then they came across a man that was again a more regular contact 
FOR WANT of a better way to say it but any way she used to see this man once or twice a month 
it ended after a few years as the bull died of cancer

as others have said this is not a way for your husband to get the door open to cheat 
this is some thing that some men want 
I don't know what is their reason why or behind it some want to watch they sit in the room and watch their wife with another man 
some want photos or video some just like the idea of their wife been a bad girl 
some men end up with the wife placing her husbands d--- in a cage 

as I said it is most often the men that want this but often after the wife gets a teast of it 
she takes over and it is the wife that is in the driving seat 
most of the women that are into it once they dip their toe in never stop 

at this time with covid and the idea of keeping safe from STI /:STD 
BUT MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO GIVE A LONG TIME TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE THEY TRY IT


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Noman said:


> I take it you are happy with your sex life & it is only monotonous for your husband?
> 
> 
> They might spice your sex life up a little in a safe manner.
> ...


If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a *****.Won't I have turned myself into a *****


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> In France THIS is becoming more and more poplar ,
> normally they say it is the husbands that are the first to bring this up in the relationship
> it can start by just night time talk before or after sex , some men seem to get turned on by the idea of their wife with another man
> some even like the idea of the woman with a better lover ,
> ...


should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard
it's weird to imagine myself with two men


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a ***.Won't I have turned myself into a ***


 i think they call it a HOTWIFE 
you might be best to goggle it


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard
> it's weird to imagine myself with two men


 do you know where he wants to be when your are with another man 
if that was to happen 
is he the type that stays at home or is he the type that wants to which and then have sex after , 
there are many types of men , 
and many types of women 
some are happy just doing this once a year or doing this for the summer time or the winter long nights some 
it becomes a drug to them and replaces normal sex life


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## MelanieGreham (Jul 28, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Then why would you want to be with him? Did not give up your integrity for another person.


@Saramiller444, you said that you love him. This question "why would you want to be with him?" is good. First - it is excellent opportunity to understand your feeling, emotion to him. And you can take a break (one week - great). You need time to get to know yourself and clarify your thoughts in your own silence. Ask yourself "why I love him?" and "i hate my boyfriend?" - read https://calmerry.com/blog/relations/i-hate-my-bo yfriend-what-should-i-do/.


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

I think that if you do not want this, then you do not need to agree. And I understand your fear that he will do it to someone else. But there is no guarantee that he will not do this with others, if you agree. In such situations, you need to either seek a compromise or disagree. Maybe offer him watching porn with a plot of his fantasies or using sex toys?


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## abigailla (Jul 14, 2021)

Don't agree if you don't like the idea. And if your husband does not accept your answer and decides to fulfill his fantasies with others - why do you need such a husband?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Don’t step off into something thAt will destroy your dignity to appease your husband’s crazy sick fantasies. If he wants to cheat, he will. How many guys you screw for him won’t change a thing, other than make you see yourself as less that who you are.
Please, consider keeping yourself as the classy lady you are.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

frenchpaddy said:


> you might be best to *goggle* it


It is g *o o* g l e.

OP, you need to tell your husband how this fantasy makes you feel. If he values you so little that he wants to pass you around, he is a worthless husband. Get rid of him.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

perashlie said:


> I think that if you do not want this, then you do not need to agree. And I understand your fear that he will do it to someone else. But there is no guarantee that he will not do this with others, if you agree. In such situations, you need to either seek a compromise or disagree. Maybe offer him watching porn with a plot of his fantasies or using sex toys?


I should wait for him to settle for the women in the videos instead of me.means I'm more ineffective than porn. sorry for my bad englsh.I like toys but he wants to see me with someone else


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

abigailla said:


> Don't agree if you don't like the idea. And if your husband does not accept your answer and decides to fulfill his fantasies with others - why do you need such a husband?


his only bad thought is this fantasy.He is a very compassionate and good human being.so i don't want to upset him


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> dont know.I think if he had the opportunity he would want to share me with someone else.


What are your feelings on that? Are you one who can separate out the sex from the love making? There is no shame in being one who can nor in being one who can't. But if you can't, then the next step is to determine what it is your husband wants to do, if anything, about this particular fantasy. It may be that he will be content to just discuss it, pillow talk like, without actually acting upon it. Or maybe he will want to get into some role play, with him as the other man. Is such role play within you abilities and/or willingness?



> İts not legal name


 Good. Always practice safe internet use.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


That will be on him then. The fact of you not wanting to do this is not an excuse for him to go out and do things behind your back and without your approval.

That said, I'm not sure what he would accomplish by an affair, since the goal is to have _you_ having sex with a person other than _him_, not him with a person other than you.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> I love him he is a nice person,good husband but he has sexual fantasies that he can't control.


For the most part, you do not control your fantasies in and of themselves. What you do control is whether you act upon them, and whether you discuss them with anyone else. Having someone whom you can discuss these fantasies with can be a major thing.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a ***.Won't I have turned myself into a ***


The short answer is no. The longer answer is that depends on how you see these things. I know women who happily accept the labels of sl** and wh**e, but are still very selective about who they are this way with. There are women who like to be the "bad girl". And men who want their women to be these things, at least part time, and maybe even only with them.

Even if he only wants to do role at and not actually have you with another man, discuss with your husband how he sees you in this role. He might see you more as Goddess (capitalized as a title, and not in a religious sense) or Mistress, and not as a sl** or wh**e. Of course how you view yourself is just as important.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard
> it's weird to imagine myself with two men


I want you to keep in mind who I am as I give you this advice. I am both poly and open, meaning I have both multiple intimate relationships, and have sex partners outside my intimate relationships. I am a BDSM educator, meaning that I have engaged in or have knowledge of various kink activities.

Do NOT do this only for the sake of your husband. You need to be a willing participant in the effort. It's alright to be unsure even doubtful that you will enjoy it. Think of it like trying out a friend's new recipe. You might doubt that you like it but you are willing to try it. But if you do this out of a sense of duty, or a fear of making him unhappy, or anything other than you are simply willing to try to see if it works for you, it will likely not be good for you. Sure there will always be the possibility that you find you like it, but not the probability under those conditions.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> his only bad thought is this fantasy.He is a very compassionate and good human being.so i don't want to upset him


Noble in and of itself, but pointless if you are allowing him to upset you. Especially if he is pressuring you towards this. And I will say that there is a fine line between asking for a fantasy repeatedly, and pressuring for it. And part of that is how you feel. If he is pressuring, you need to tell him to back off. If he won't then you have to consider whether you want to live life with that pressure.


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## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> Don’t step off into something thAt will destroy your dignity to appease your husband’s crazy sick fantasies. If he wants to cheat, he will. How many guys you screw for him won’t change a thing, other than make you see yourself as less that who you are.
> Please, consider keeping yourself as the classy lady you are.


Crazy sick fantasy eh, well we know where you stand on thd matter.

To the OP, my wife and I fantasise about that scenario but only during regular sex, we both like the thought of her being very naughty to our sensibilities. However I don't actually want that, just the fantasy is enough to give our sex life something extra. Also it's not an obsession, so it hasn't dominated our sex life. 

An open conversation away from the bed room is all that's required to set your boundaries. He should love you enough to not want to put you in a situation you're not comfortable with. But also you should love him enough to want accommodate some of his desires if it won't damage you


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Jamieboy said:


> But also you should love him enough to want accommodate some of his desires *if it won't damage you*


I have to emphasize this. OP, you have to be sure of this, or at least reasonably sure. There is always risk, but make sure it is reasonable risk. Make sure you know the difference between uncertainty and what will be damaging to you. And decide that for yourself. Don't let anyone else tell you what will or will not damage you. Only you can know that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> I love him he is a nice person,good husband but he has sexual fantasies that he can't control.


Yes he can control them. Plus he doesn't have to ever act on them. Does he watch porn? If he does then he is feeding the fantasies. He needs to stop the porn.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> should i give my husband a chance.maybe it will be good for our sex life.I don't know it's hard
> it's weird to imagine myself with two men


Please don't lower your moral values and integrity to commit adultery with another man. If your husband really loved and respected you he would never even ask. It would be a disaster for you and the marriage. You do not have to do this, it's so damaging. 
If he goes off and cheats then what does that say about him?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> If I do won't I be a bad girl or my husband will see me like a ***.Won't I have turned myself into a ***


Well you will be committing adultery. Always a bad idea.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


That's when you file for divorce. No one should have to fear their spouse cheating on them.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> The short answer is no. The longer answer is that depends on how you see these things. I know women who happily accept the labels of sl** and wh**e, but are still very selective about who they are this way with. There are women who like to be the "bad girl". And men who want their women to be these things, at least part time, and maybe even only with them.
> 
> Even if he only wants to do role at and not actually have you with another man, discuss with your husband how he sees you in this role. He might see you more as Goddess (capitalized as a title, and not in a religious sense) or Mistress, and not as a sl** or wh**e. Of course how you view yourself is just as important.


I don't know. Sometimes I have feelings inside myself that I can't control.All I want is for our relationship to go well


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Well you will be committing adultery. Always a bad idea.


Diana sorry for my emotional depression.i am going through a difficult time


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> I don't know. Sometimes I have feelings inside myself that I can't control.All I want is for our relationship to go well


You committing adultery isn't going to help your marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> Diana sorry for my emotional depression.i am going through a difficult time


That's ok, you have nothing the be sorry about, but please don't ever be pressured into doing something like this that you are clearly not happy about.
There is no way that I would have sex with someone else if my husband wanted it. If your husband cheats then that shows how low his moral values are.
Stand tall and don't be pressured into anything.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> You committing adultery isn't going to help your marriage.


maybe we should go to a therapist


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> maybe we should go to a therapist


Great idea


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> I love him he is a nice person,good husband but he has sexual fantasies that he can't control.


To second what Diane said above, he can control the fantasies but he may not want to. Sara, it also sounds a little like you may be a little intrigued by the idea of having sex with another man. Some of what you're saying leads me to believe you may not want to be talk out of doing it. Heed my warning and advise. I was the paid "bull" in a number of these arraignments. Every married couple or S/O couple that I serviced are no longer together, except one.
Two things about your husband. One, he is not like to stop having the fantasy any time soon. Two, you don't know how he is going to react when he sees your legs wrapped around another guy. Two things about you. One, that special love you now share with only him will be no more. Two, your respect for him, and probably his for you, and your marriage will likely take a hit. That stuff you hear about recognizing a difference between sex and love when a third person is in a marriage is a crock of shyt. Sharing your puzzy with another man is going to weaken the ties that bind you two together. Continue at your own peril.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

VladDracul said:


> To second what Diane said above, he can control the fantasies but he may not want to. Sara, it also sounds a little like you may be a little intrigued by the idea of having sex with another man. Some of what you're saying leads me to believe you may not want to be talk out of doing it. Heed my warning and advise. I was the paid "bull" in a number of these arraignments. Every married couple or S/O couple that I serviced are no longer together, except one.
> Two things about your husband. One, he is not like to stop having the fantasy any time soon. Two, you don't know how he is going to react when he sees your legs wrapped around another guy. Two things about you. One, that special love you now share with only him will be no more. Two, your respect for him, and probably his for you, and your marriage will likely take a hit. That stuff you hear about recognizing a difference between sex and love when a third person is in a marriage is a crock of shyt. Sharing your puzzy with another man is going to weaken the ties that bind you two together. Continue at your own peril.


All quite true, and once the act is done, it can't be undone.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> maybe we should go to a therapist


Yes good idea.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> I don't know. Sometimes I have feelings inside myself that I can't control.All I want is for our relationship to go well


You don't control your feelings. That's a myth. What you control is when and how you express them. That is what control over your feelings is.

As for your relationship going well, that takes both of you. You have to both be willing to not do that which harms the other, OR be willing to leave if what you need is incompatible with the other.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

my husband recently said he wanted to take my nude pictures .My question to men is why would a man want this?


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Sorry, no man wants their wife to be with another man. That is unless he wants to get rid of her or is having an affair and wants to free himself of the guilt. Something is off here. Maybe he's looking for a way out of the marriage. Maybe he has bisexual tendencies and this is his way of broaching the topic. Counseling may do him good.

In the meantime, what have you done to try and spice things up in the bedroom? If things have gotten monotonous, you are just as much to blame as he is. Have you asked him what he would like you to do with HIM in the bedroom? And share with him some of your fantasies too.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> my husband recently said he wanted to take my nude pictures .My question to men is why would a man want this?


Depends on what he does with them. A lady I used to know agreed for her husband to do this but he put them on porn sites without telling her. They are now divorced.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Depends on what he does with them. A lady I used to know agreed for her husband to do this but he put them on porn sites without telling her. They are now divorced.


Omg it's sad


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> my husband recently said he wanted to take my nude pictures .My question to men is why would a man want this?


I've wanted to take pics and video of my wife, but she doesn't want to, so we don't.

It seems you are trickling out things your husband wants. First fantasy about you with another man, then maybe actually being with another man, now nude pics. How about you give us the whole story at one shot. What else has he asked for? Also, you first post said "our sex life with my husband has become monotonous". Is that your opinion or his or both?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


Is that the implied threat? Has he given you a reason to think that and holding it over your head to force you to do something? Either way you need to just tell him no. If he's going to cheat on you he's probably already done it and if that's a deal-breaker for you then obviously you'll need to get a divorce down the road sometime.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

We have so many threads like this. This rarely turns out well for the husband who wants this. The wife loses her love for the husband and will sometimes fall for one of the OMs. Yes that’s rights, OMs plural. It starts with one time with one person but then soon that’s not exciting enough, so more OM. Is that what you want for yourself? Most of the time the husband or the OM will want this all caught on video. 

There was a thread on LS of a woman that had a very promiscuous past with her old boyfriend that was also her baby daddy. The old relationship also involved drugs. She eventually broke up with him, cleaned up her life and a few years later was engaged to a guy that she truly loved and that was accepting her kid. The ex was jealous so he sent a video to her fiancé of her obviously under the influence of drugs enjoying herself having sex with the ex and 2 of his friends. Even though the fiancé loved her, he could not continue and left her. It was sad because her kid grew attached to her fiancé. That could be what happens to you.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Personally, I'd hit him where it hurts.

"Honey, were you serious about adding other men? I've been thinking about it. A lot. You're right. The sex is..well...bad. I am absolutely DYING to get on top of, under, and on my knees for a man who knows what he's doing! It'll be amazing! Actual good sex! OMG! I promise I'll still have sex with you after. So, yes! In exchange for being able to have sex with a skilled man I'll give you sex every so often when you need it. I mean, we're married. It's my duty as your wife. But, God, to finally have passion! To have a guy who can make me forget my name! I just can't wait!"

See how much he likes it then.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I've wanted to take pics and video of my wife, but she doesn't want to, so we don't.
> 
> It seems you are trickling out things your husband wants. First fantasy about you with another man, then maybe actually being with another man, now nude pics. How about you give us the whole story at one shot. What else has he asked for? Also, you first post said "our sex life with my husband has become monotonous". Is that your opinion or his or both?


it was her idea and he asked for it for the first time
He took my picture today.I don't know if he will fantasize with another man


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

jsmart said:


> We have so many threads like this. This rarely turns out well for the husband who wants this. The wife loses her love for the husband and will sometimes fall for one of the OMs. Yes that’s rights, OMs plural. It starts with one time with one person but then soon that’s not exciting enough, so more OM. Is that what you want for yourself? Most of the time the husband or the OM will want this all caught on video.
> 
> There was a thread on LS of a woman that had a very promiscuous past with her old boyfriend that was also her baby daddy. The old relationship also involved drugs. She eventually broke up with him, cleaned up her life and a few years later was engaged to a guy that she truly loved and that was accepting her kid. The ex was jealous so he sent a video to her fiancé of her obviously under the influence of drugs enjoying herself having sex with the ex and 2 of his friends. Even though the fiancé loved her, he could not continue and left her. It was sad because her kid grew attached to her fiancé. That could be what happens to you.


this is a very sad story but will it always be the same end?


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

Anyone who can help with this, please contact me


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

SCDad01 said:


> Sorry, no man wants their wife to be with another man.


You are so off. There are entire fetishes around this concept. Hotwife, cuckold, voyeur, and so many more.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> my husband recently said he wanted to take my nude pictures .My question to men is why would a man want this?


Are you kidding? Quite a number of men enjoy seeing their wife nude or semi-nude (I personally think my wives look hotter topless than full nude). Wanting a picture for himself is not unusual per se. However, you have to trust him not to share. But in and of itself, wanting such a picture of one's wife is not unusual.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> this is a very sad story but will it always be the same end?


Contrary to what many here will try to tell you, no. However, it takes trust, honesty, and communications. You both have to be very clear as to what it is you want, and what you will not tolerate.

Most here come from problematic marriages that no longer exist, save maybe a few who see their concept of marriage and the conduct therein as the "One True Way". But there are those of us here who have seen the alternate way and have seen them work. But those ways are not for everyone. I won't lie to you and claim it's simple and easy. Well for some it might be, but not most. And with all honestly, the alternate ways are workable for a relatively few. That said, you never know if you might be one of those few. The question is do you risk it, and possibly lose your husband? Or does the risk go the other way and not doing it is the risk of loss?

My initial advice still stands. You don't compromise yourself for him. If it's a hard limit for you and he can't respect it, he isn't worth it.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> Anyone who can help with this, please contact me


You have had plenty of advice here in this thread, covering all sorts of options. If there is someone whose advice you feel is better than the rest, then contact them and ask to speak privately instead of this thread. But in the end you have to decide which advice it is that you want to take and try. In the end there is no one true way. What doesn't work for others might work for you. What works for others might not work for you. We can't make those decisions for you. It's up to you.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> it was her idea and he asked for it for the first time
> He took my picture today.I don't know if he will fantasize with another man


You really are all over the place. 6 hours ago you said he recently wanted to take your nude picture. 3 hours after that you say he has already taken it? Now you are thinking he may fantasize about it with another man? How did this escalate so quickly? In the span of a day it went from mundane sex, to fantasy, to acting on fantasies.

How do YOU feel about your current sex life, his fantasy of sharing you and him taking and sharing nude photos of you?


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You really are all over the place. 6 hours ago you said he recently wanted to take your nude picture. 3 hours after that you say he has already taken it? Now you are thinking he may fantasize about it with another man? How did this escalate so quickly? In the span of a day it went from mundane sex, to fantasy, to acting on fantasies.
> 
> How do YOU feel about your current sex life, his fantasy of sharing you and him taking and sharing nude photos of you?


but unfortunately it happened.Hhe said and did tonight


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> but unfortunately it happened.Hhe said and did tonight


What do you mean unfortunately it happened? You had to take your clothes of for this correct? Are you saying he told you to take your clothes off, I'm going to take your picture and you just did it? Or did he just decide to take it while you were nude? 

You think he might be using the pic to shop you around to other men he want to have sex with you?

I'll ask again... How do YOU feel about your current sex life, his fantasy of sharing you and him taking and sharing nude photos of you?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> but unfortunately it happened.Hhe said and did tonight


Did he take the picture of you with permission, or did he grab a candid shot by surprise?


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What do you mean unfortunately it happened? You had to take your clothes of for this correct? Are you saying he told you to take your clothes off, I'm going to take your picture and you just did it? Or did he just decide to take it while you were nude?
> 
> You think he might be using the pic to shop you around to other men he want to have sex with you?
> 
> I'll ask again... How do YOU feel about your current sex life, his fantasy of sharing you and him taking and sharing nude photos of you?


he took off my clothes.i felt embarrassed and excited


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> Did he take the picture of you with permission, or did he grab a candid shot by surprise?


he offered.


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## Saramiller444 (Jul 29, 2021)

maybe i can transfer the photos to my own phone


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> he took off my clothes.i felt embarrassed and excited


Good luck moving to the lifestyle.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

do you think he wants the photos for himself or to show to other men , 
that he works with does he talk to other men on the internet about this 
are you happy with him showing these photos to men you don't know 
if he wants a mfm threesome does he want to have sex with the other man 
will he then want a fmf threesome 
or will he want to try swapping wife's with another couple 
does he talk to other men on the internet about this


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## abigailla (Jul 14, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> his only bad thought is this fantasy.He is a very compassionate and good human being.so i don't want to upset him


If you are so confident in your husband, then just tell him about your doubts about this desire, I hope that he will understand you


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> I should wait for him to settle for the women in the videos instead of me.means I'm more ineffective than porn. sorry for my bad englsh.I like toys but he wants to see me with someone else


That is, you prefer to have sex with another man, not really wanting it and only for the sake of your husband?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> he took off my clothes.i felt embarrassed and excited


Did you agree to him doing this? Did he pressure you?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hmmm, beginning to smell a rat here.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saramiller444 said:


> maybe i can transfer the photos to my own phone


Why? What good would that do?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Hmmm, beginning to smell a rat here.


Reeking to high heaven.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Saramiller444 said:


> he took off my clothes.i felt embarrassed and excited


This would seem to indicate that some of these things are activities that you might well like (the excitement), but are struggling against the pressures of society (the embarrassment), Unless humiliation play is one of your things, you need to get over that embarrassment to discover if any of these things are truly what you want or are willing to do.



Saramiller444 said:


> he offered.


That still doesn't make it clear. I can see two possible cases right off the bat.

Case #1: He offers to do it. You are embarrassed or shocked enough that you don't answer. He undresses you and then takes pictures.

Case #2: He offers to do it. You actively agree to it. He undresses you and then takes the pictures.

The first case may be problematic, as there would be no clear consent.



Saramiller444 said:


> maybe i can transfer the photos to my own phone


If you can ensure that they are deleted from his, and not already uploaded to a cloud, such as Google photos, that is an idea. What has he said is his reason for having them. You have yet to mention whether you have even asked yet alone his reason.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

perashlie said:


> not really wanting it and only for the sake of your husband?


Of course she doen't really want it. She just wants her husband to enjoy way she comes alive while laying with another man, the excitement she displays from wanting someone new, the feel of his body and and the OMG look and pleasure displayed on her face as a new man touches forbidden places, gives her oral, enters her, and give her delicious orgasms. And most importantly, she's doing it all for her husband.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Make sure he knows that it isn't going to ever happen in real life.


hmmmm, not sure this is wise advice.
Husband is getting bored with vanilla sex, and you want the OP to dress up like a librarian and refuse his efforts to expand their sex life into new areas?
Sounds like the start of a divorce coming.

How about the OP instead embracing that a married sex life CAN get bored, and instead finding ways they both can live with to spice things up?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

frenchpaddy said:


> do you think he wants the photos for himself or to show to other men ,
> that he works with does he talk to other men on the internet about this
> are you happy with him showing these photos to men you don't know
> if he wants a mfm threesome does he want to have sex with the other man
> ...


whatever the reason, MAKE SURE the METADATA in the pictures is removed before he does anything with them.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> hmmmm, not sure this is wise advice.
> Husband is getting bored with vanilla sex, and you want the OP to dress up like a librarian and refuse his efforts to expand their sex life into new areas?
> Sounds like the start of a divorce coming.
> 
> How about the OP instead embracing that a married sex life CAN get bored, and instead finding ways they both can live with to spice things up?


I was referring too him wanting her to have sex with men outside the marriage, so not sure where the 'dressing like a librarian*'* comes in. Do you know any librarians? I do and they dress like anyone else.


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## MEA (Jul 12, 2021)

Saramiller444 said:


> I am afraid that if I reject this idea outright, he will cheat on me with someone else.


If you’re afraid any action of yours would lead to him cheating, then this is not a good marriage.
Cheaters will always find a reason to cheat. I met every one of my ex’s sexual demands under the threat of him cheating if I don’t. Turns out, he was cheating anyway and the ridiculous sexual demands were only his way of trying to create a reason to blame me.
I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband is setting up a similar scenario.
A man who truly loves you will not intentionally do or say things that make you uncomfortable.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Saramiller444 said:


> I love him he is a nice person,good husband but he has sexual fantasies that he can't control.


Then he needs to go into a treatment center and you need trauma based counseling and to get away from him into a safe place.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> For the most part, you do not control your fantasies in and of themselves. What you do control is whether you act upon them, and whether you discuss them with anyone else. Having someone whom you can discuss these fantasies with can be a major thing.


I think her point is that he is getting sexually violent.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

AndStilliRise said:


> I think her point is that he is getting sexually violent.


I think you need to read closer. She has not indicated any violence. While consent violations are consent violations, they are not automatically violence. As is the OP seems to be on the fence with her feelings about it all, which leads me to believe that she is caught up between her feelings and what what society says her feelings should be.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> I think you need to read closer. She has not indicated any violence. While consent violations are consent violations, they are not automatically violence. As is the OP seems to be on the fence with her feelings about it all, which leads me to believe that she is caught up between her feelings and what what society says her feelings should be.


I think she is caught between what her feelings say and what her husband wants. 
Btw society says that anything goes these days so there are no standards there.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I think you need to read closer. She has not indicated any violence. While consent violations are consent violations, they are not automatically violence. As is the OP seems to be on the fence with her feelings about it all, which leads me to believe that she is caught up between her feelings and what what society says her feelings should be.


I think you need to read closer. Just because she didn't SAY it didn't mean she didn't say it. Coercion is rape.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I think she is caught between what her feelings say and what her husband wants.
> Btw society says that *anything goes these days* so there are no standards there.


there is that.
but also, what we personally would never have considered in the past, now kind of creeps into our thoughts and we might say "why not". 
a lot depends on what SHE actually thinks of this. after the initial shock of hearing his request, and doing some research, the OP might be fantasizing about it now.


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