# Anyone else have a spouse with Alzheimer's?



## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

My DW has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it is not fun.
Things started to show up a couple of years ago (one of the first is her no longer wanting sex and no longer doing any cooking or paying bills). 

I feel like I am no longer married and am raising another child.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I'm so very sorry -- wasn't with a spouse but with my mom. It's horrible.

You have to take care of you -- whether that means getting in a caretaker a couple of times a week so you can get out, or a support group if that's your style, or something, but this is actually going to be much harder on you than it is on her, and it's a marathon, not a sprint. So please talk to somebody and make up a plan, because you are going to need all the help you can get.

I'm so sorry, Studley.


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## alva (Aug 8, 2012)

Yes, and it is a frustrating disease. Suggest that you get Alzheimer's Disease specialist doctor/geriantrician for spouse, and try out a support group to help you with this. The Alzheimer's Organization is a good place to start, and there are many groups that deal with caregiver problems. There may also be legal problems with relatives and thus you will need advise and protection there. (My stepdaughter attempted to take my wife away from me and put her in an assisted living facility 1500 miles away. She had no salary and my wife had money. Legal action gave me guardianship of the person, and wife's son has guardianship of the assets.)

I gained much knowledge from Leeza's Place, now Center for Family Caregivers. 

My wife's problems surfaced as cognitive thinking deficiencies before memory issues were obvious. While her incapacity hearing was pending, apparently a relative told her that she wasn't married to me (only 13 years) and that she shouldn't have sex with me, a reversal in two days from a long, loving, intimate relationship. 

Alva


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So sorry you are dealing with this. Didn't have a spouse go through this, but both parents dealt with forms of dementia. It is heartbreaking. Get as much support lined up now, because you will need it later, this includes doctors, in-home care, and nursing home care. My folks had some insurance that covered the nursing care, so we were lucky on that front. There are so wonderful support groups for caregivers you should become familiar with. If at all possible discuss these with your spouse. This is so hard.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I don't get the support piece.......just not in my nature it's life you deal with it.

My dad has alzheimers and his dad as well as all of his brothers did too. Needless to say I am freaking terrified!! 

We are nothing without our life experiences, memories, and minds. Truly one of the worse diseases ever!

I totally feel for you OP it only get's worse ;(


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

Thanks all for the replies. We are good on the Dr, support, care stuff. She can be almost obsessive in some areas and totally uncaring with others. The latest thing is she lost her purse and of course it has the house keys, credit card, and cell phone in it.


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