# Sex & dating question for the guys



## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who: 

1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him

And

2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs

And

3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?

And

4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?

Would you consider this woman to be a challenge to see if you could make her enjoy sex, or would you consider her to be too high risk of being LD?


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## BillH (Jan 26, 2017)

I'd say she must want to enjoy sex, because of the toys and the ability to orgasm via oral. Go for it! You will be a hero, a porn star, she will be calling her friends to share the details.....


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

40+ year old women scare me >

I don't see anything in your list that would indicate she is LD. If anything she could possibly be more willing/anxious to pursue an active/healthy sex life after missing out on one for so long.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

I would definitely want to give it a try, but only you can answer the LD part. Are you LD? 

If you told me up front you are LD and not to interested in sex, I would change my mind.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Why post this in two separate forum sections?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/365482-sex-dating-question-guys.html


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Yes. You just described me too.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

None of that really matters much, though it is good to know. What matters is if she expresses a desire to have a vigorous, enjoyable, happy sex life in the future and whether she demonstrates that desire. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

whether you get involved with her or not really depends on what does she want ? Is she content with life as it is or is she open minded to experiment and be open to new ideas and positions? it is not the body that scares me but the mind...that organ is a lot harder to change


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I think she would want it so much after not getting any for such a long time you would never be able to keep up with her.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Been married for 30 years, so not dating, but hypothetically if I was:

1). No problem. 

2). No problem, lots of women never orgasm through PIV. I'm happy to do other things to help or orgasm.

3). I enjoy a wide variety of sexual activities and would want a partner who is the same. If the lack of variety is due to a lack of opportunity, then this is not a problem. If she is not interested in variety then we would not be sexually compatible. (its fine for someone to only like limited things, but they would not be a good partner for *me*).

4). If it was not by her choice, then this is not a problem.

I have no problem with someone who has limited sexual experience due to lack of opportunity IF they are interested in increasing the range and frequency of activities. That doesn't mean that they need to immediately start engaging in all sorts of wild things, but I would want them to be interested in moving in that direction. 




Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Why post this in two separate forum sections?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/365482-sex-dating-question-guys.html


I only posted this in the Men's Clubhouse. If it somehow posted elsewhere as well, it must be a glitch.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

rockon said:


> I would definitely want to give it a try, but only you can answer the LD part. Are you LD?
> 
> If you told me up front you are LD and not to interested in sex, I would change my mind.


I was LD with my husband. I hated sex with my husband he was both selfish in bed and sexually abusive.

I enjoyed the non PIV experiences I had with men before him but I was a teenager at the time. I was 21 when I married and there's been no one else since. So I don't honestly know how I would be with someone else. All I can tell you is I have a good sized collection of toys, Harlequin romances, and EL James books.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Been married for 30 years, so not dating, but hypothetically if I was:
> 
> 1). No problem.
> 
> ...


My STBX was not one for a wide range of sexual experiences. All he wanted was a warm body and 5 minutes and he was done. He preferred it from behind because he didn't like making eye contact during sex. On top of that he was definitely an *ss man. He barely ever touched my breasts at all unlike a former BF who loved them. We did try anal once - I didn't really want to but he insisted. Never again. I ended up in the hospital with a tear so bad I had to have stitches. So for any guy who considers no anal a deal breaker I guess he'd need to move on to the next woman. I think I'd be up for other things other than spanking or other types of pain infliction. I have an extremely low pain tolerance so that doesn't appeal to me at all. And I can't see myself as either partner in a dom-sub relationship. I'm not good at either taking or receiving orders...

If I trusted a guy enough I'd probably be more than willing to try some of the stuff I've come across in my reading. But, I don't know how long it would take to develop that trust. My STBX did some real damage.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

The things you want would be fine with a great many men, but of course not all. 

As an aside, anal shouldn't be damaging or painful if done correctly. That doesn't mean you should ever feel you need to try it again, just letting you know. 



Hellomynameis said:


> My STBX was not one for a wide range of sexual experiences. All he wanted was a warm body and 5 minutes and he was done. He preferred it from behind because he didn't like making eye contact during sex. On top of that he was definitely an *ss man. He barely ever touched my breasts at all unlike a former BF who loved them. We did try anal once - I didn't really want to but he insisted. Never again. I ended up in the hospital with a tear so bad I had to have stitches. So for any guy who considers no anal a deal breaker I guess he'd need to move on to the next woman. I think I'd be up for other things other than spanking or other types of pain infliction. I have an extremely low pain tolerance so that doesn't appeal to me at all. And I can't see myself as either partner in a dom-sub relationship. I'm not good at either taking or receiving orders...
> 
> If I trusted a guy enough I'd probably be more than willing to try some of the stuff I've come across in my reading. But, I don't know how long it would take to develop that trust. My STBX did some real damage.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sorry Hello, i thought you were a man......in wrote in your other post, thinking i was responding to a man about a woman. but my answer is the same...the organ that matters the most is your brain...in there is everything that would drive a pleasurable sexual life or not. if you did not feel open with your ex, this is an opportunity to investigate your own sexual needs and desire, don't be afraid to read books, join a woman's group, look at videos, embrace your body and find out what brings you pleasure and what brings you pain...do not let a man define your limits, do not let a man push how farther than your ready...but don't be afraid to expand your mind either.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

No.
The reasons are complex, and could be considered insulting but based on the original post If I heard that list presented in those words on a first date it would be the last date as well.
Your follow up adds some positive and some negative aspects.
I would also be interested in whether or not your toys are vibrators. 

I think that at least some of the problem is that I have been in a Mismatched drive relationship and I would be strongly motivated to avoid a repeat. (erring against you)


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Sorry, I'm not a man... but if I may....

I married as a virgin at 20 to another virgin...that was all I knew for 20 years. We learned together and all was great, he was always very unselfish as was I, which of course benefited both of us. I did have plenty of orgasms.

When I returned to the dating world, it was petrifying in a way, because I felt everyone had a tremendous amount more experience, especially with different partners. The one guy I dated (who turned out to be a BIG regret) was older than me, and frankly I learned a TON from him in a short amount of time. He didn't mind at all my lack of partners or the fact that I would never fake an O. He said I was by far the best sex of his life. Who knows if that was true, he probably says that to all the girls...

I can't imagine declining to pursue a relationship with someone because of those things. Sounds like she had a lousy husband in the sack. The fact that she has toys etc shows her interest in sex and orgasms. It's almost a perk that she doesn't have much sexual "baggage". Totally just my opinion.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Mr. Nail said:


> No.
> The reasons are complex, and could be considered insulting but based on the original post If I heard that list presented in those words on a first date it would be the last date as well.
> Your follow up adds some positive and some negative aspects.
> I would also be interested in whether or not your toys are vibrators.
> ...


Would you mind elaborating? I'd like to know especially what you consider the negatives and why.

And yes, the toys are vibrators. I use them probably about every 2-3 days. If I lived alone, it might be more often but I'm not comfortable using them when the family is home. It's an old house with VERY thin walls 😉


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Sorry, I'm not a man... but if I may....
> 
> I married as a virgin at 20 to another virgin...that was all I knew for 20 years. We learned together and all was great, he was always very unselfish as was I, which of course benefited both of us. I did have plenty of orgasms.
> 
> ...


STBX was beyond lousy. He was selfish. Forceful. Brutal. I didn't realize it until years later but I know now that at times what he did to me constituted marital rape. His focus was always completely on himself. I think I could have been a blow up doll for all he cared. Foolish me I was so in love with him outside the bedroom that I ignored all the red flags that were flying over the bed.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Hellomynameis said:


> Would you mind elaborating? I'd like to know especially what you consider the negatives and why.


OK, I'll give you the specific because it could help you. Try not to think of it a a personal fault, but more of the way you presented the information turned me away.

You original post included this:


Hellomynameis said:


> 2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs.


Now I know that there are plenty of women who don't orgasm with PIV sex, But what you are saying here is that it is all his fault. (and that is likely true in your case) But, it also says that you lived with this problem for 2 decades without taking a proactive ownership of your own satisfaction. You were willing to suffer in silence indefinitely, because he was selfish. There is nothing there to indicate what your Actions were to fix it. I'm rambling. You had a problem, but you didn't own it and take steps to fix it. I'm actually assuming that you tried many times to solve the problem.

Now I understand that I am not seeing the whole picture. My suggestion is that you rephrase that statement so you look more active in trying to solve the problem. for example, "I've never had an orgasm with PIV sex. No matter how much I coached him my husband, who I was faithful to, wouldn't last long enough to get me there." Focus on You. Leave the Ex out of the conversation. 

That is the best advice I can offer to you going from where you are. Your most positive features are that you were sexually faithful through a difficult marriage. You continued to seek sexual satisfaction on a regular basis. And you are willing to try again. 

About the vibes: Like men with porn you accustom your sexual response to the particular sensation, in this case vibrators. If you want to achieve orgasm with PIV sex you will need to retrain your response. I'd suggest working with a non vibrating toy of average size. Even that may not work. New research is saying that position of the clitoris in relation to the vaginal opening is an accurate indicator of ability to orgasm PIV. You may need to add in clitoral stimulation. 

Honestly I don't want you to think I am picking on you. The same statement could affect another man in a completely different way.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Mr. Nail said:


> OK, I'll give you the specific because it could help you. Try not to think of it a a personal fault, but more of the way you presented the information turned me away.
> 
> You original post included this:
> 
> ...


Interesting.

Thing is, I was raised to believe that sex was not something that women enjoyed. It was something we did to keep our husbands happy. My experience with STBX did nothing to overcome those teachings and I didn't try to get him to change because I didn't know any better.

I didn't truly start realizing it could/should have been different until the sexless years and physical separation had already started. That's when I discovered, mostly through romance and erotic novels, that some women actually enjoy PIV. I've also learned through reading that part of our problem might have been a basic size mismatch. A woman's first time should probably not be a guy who outweighs her by 150 pounds who has a **** that lives up to the myth about shoe size and penis size (he's a size 13 in shoes and ring). Especially a huge guy who likes it rough and had also not had sex in several months. That first time had me believing everything my mother had ever told me about sex being an unpleasant chore for women and it never got better. Would he have improved had I had higher expectations of him? I don't know. His selfishness extended to all aspects of our life together so I tend to doubt anything would have changed it.

If I were with another man, I would love to have him take it as a challenge that I had never had a PIV orgasm and see if he could do it. But I get what you're saying that it might not even be possible. Not that I mind as long as the guy is providing that direct stimulation during PIV. The few times my STBX actually bothered it was pretty amazing. Unfortunately as it turned out the times he was really good to me in bed were because he was feeling guilty about having screwed someone else just hours previously.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

If I found out all this Infirmation up front I would very likely pass on dating that woman. We would be a mismatch.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We'd probably be a mismatch for anything lasting, but it might be fun for temporarily. In fact, I did have one such relationship, and we both had fun (if somewhat constrained by her limited experience).


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Sure I'd get involved with a woman like that. 

Nothing to say I'd stay involved but with a different guy she could be a different woman. 

I dated an Asian chick who was in an old fashioned marriage for most of her life, not too much other than plain vanilla sex.

Among other things I introduced her to facials. 

She was like a blank canvas, and my penis was the brush. I suppose you can figure out what I used for paint.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I wouldnt mind it at all because I think 'experience' is over rated.

its who im with, not so much 'what can she do'.

willing and eager. Everything else can be worked out.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> And
> ...


I'm 48 and If I were single I would definitely not let those things scare me off. Being with someone I trust and respect as a person, who is good to others, who I'm proud to be with, and who I believed wanted to be with me for the same reasons is very important.

After those things then zero drive might matter but not low drive. I think a lot of LD partners wouldn't be quite as LD if everything else in the relationship were on more solid ground. Not all but many. I mean if you're in it for the long haul then wake up with someone you who makes you smile when you think about them.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I would go for it. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I would consider dating someone like that, though in reality the personal information wouldn't likely be known ahead of time. Currently I am not interested in a deep long term relationship or marriage, and to be honest I am pretty jaded about relationships.

I have never had PIV with anyone other than my xw. I'm guessing there are a fair number of newly single people out there, male and female, who are in similar positions. Or, who were in very long term marriages and whose other sexual experience was limited in scope a very long time ago. Yes, it seems a bit intimidating to get back out dating and having sex, but we aren't actually unusual.

Obviously there were major marital problems for every one of us who is divorced. I don't think you should worry too much. Also, I would not disclose too much too soon in new relationships. My plan is to just go slowly into dating, not taking it too seriously.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

Your history would be far less important to me than your present-day behavior with me. Why would I even know such details when just starting to date?


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

Neither of your options. If we're compatible to the point of being intimate, let's just see how it goes. One step at a time. I don't see a reason to draw conclusions when the evidence isn't even in. I figure adventureness and appetite also depend on the individual we're with. 🙂


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


I'll give her a few months of sexing and see if there's progress


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


I would want to gain some experience with her. #1, 2 and 3 are common. I've known a few women for whom orgasm could only be achieved through oral. As long as they're eager to participate and help me understand their needs, it's all good. I've met very few women who found doggy or spoon comfortable. Mind you, although I'm old, I was never a stud, so my entire lifetime of experience is just about a dozen, not much of a sample size. Of that dozen, only about a third were interested in doing oral, while almost all enjoyed being on the receiving end.

I don't think #4 has any bearing on your decision, unless you think her willingness to stay for 13 years is a bad sign.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

She sounds like she could be a hell of a lot of fun. I figure it this way. 

She liked sex well enough to try different positions.

She does more than just piv.

She is innovative and adventurous because she thought to get some toys and use them till they burned up. I just added the burned up part for some humor.

She isn't afraid to try new things. 

She's got great character and doesn't make rash decisions. 

Good to go. I wonder what her personality is like? I wonder what kinds of movies she likes? Does she eat popcorn while watching or some kind of candy, or maybe something else? Does she like butter on her popcorn or plain?


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Hellomynameis said:


> 2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs


Keep in mind that many women don't orgasm via PIV even if their partner *is* concerned about their sexual needs.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Sure, why not. 

Challenge is a good way to look at it. 

Danger of being LD? Only if you are planning to wait until marriage . 



Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> If I were with another man, I would love to have him take it as a challenge that I had never had a PIV orgasm and see if he could do it. But I get what you're saying that it might not even be possible. Not that I mind as long as the guy is providing that direct stimulation during PIV. The few times my STBX actually bothered it was pretty amazing. Unfortunately as it turned out the times he was really good to me in bed were because he was feeling guilty about having screwed someone else just hours previously.


Oh I bet the combination of PIV + a magic wand or another good vibe would get you there. I believe statistically a majority of women can never O from PIV alone. But "PIV+"? I bet most women could have great O's from that.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Why not? We're new to each other! 

If I'm going to be disappointed, let me find out all of my own accord! There are certainly some consummate "deal breakers" in the sexual arena just as there are in the non-sexual one!*


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## DonaldDuck666 (Feb 20, 2017)

Wolf1974 said:


> If I found out all this Infirmation up front I would very likely pass on dating that woman. We would be a mismatch.


Hate to say it, but I agree with this. That would throw off major red flags for me. 

Have you considered getting some FWBs to get more experience? Nothing wrong with that. You're an adult. And it may get you over the hump (pun not intended, but it's funny now that I read it). 

Are you asking this because you've been turned down or have you not started dating yet? Also, I wouldn't bring this up on a first date or even very early in a possible relationship. Who knows? it could be irrelevant and you could happen to meet someone who you have immediate and intense chemistry with and you might surprise yourself. I'm a strong believer in chemistry between people. There are just the "ones" that rock your world.

And, yes, for many it absolutely would be an exciting challenge to try and crack that nut, for some men. So, that could be fun for you as well.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


I've been married over 20 years, but IF I were single:

1. Absolutely no problem with this scenario.

2. No problem with that, either, except I would question whether it to be true or not. It's hard to believe that any man would not be concerned about his wife's sexual needs, though I'm sure there are some out there. This is only a "yellow flag" to me until I got to know her better.

3. I would also wonder about this, too, though it is possible. There are men out there like that. Again, not a problem that I would concern myself with.

4. Sexless marriages happen, but I still would have to know her better to just take her word for it. The fact that she does have a toy collection tells me that she does actually enjoy sexual release.

As for being concerned that she is LD, yes and no. I would make sure to come out and ask how important sex is to her, and align it with how important it is to me. If they don't match in every respect as to importance, I would probably move on. Sexual compatibility is VERY important to a long term relationship. I would certainly make it a point to make sure that she understands that my sex drive is just as important as hers, and needs to be fulfilled just like I intend to fulfill her needs.

The point is, don't settle for less than you're willing to live with. No sex? No way! Of course, I have always been HD, so I wouldn't settle for anything less that 4 times a week personally. My wife and I still have sex 5 to 6 times a week. I am 55, and she is 51. Unless there was an illness, surgery, or an injury of some sort, it has always been at least that frequency.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...



If you eat her *****, you will own her forever


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Half the fun is teaching the new things,

the other half is learning those things.

Just sayin'


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


Oh man, yes x1000!

Not for the challenge (lol), but because she's almost like a unicorn. 40-something, relatively inexperienced, has a collection of toys (and uses them)? Hasn't had actual sex in 13 years?

What she is, I'd assume, is sex-starved, faithful (I'm guessing), and knows her body (thanks to all those solo sessions). Also not shy (has a 'collection' of sex toys).

If one is looking for a casual, FWB things (and so is she), you've hit the jackpot :smthumbup:

*edited for typos


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

The issues you raised in the OP are not that uncommon. It would not scare me off one bit. In fact it would be fun as others have said to see the progress. I am not talking about a fling or FWB situation, but actually seeing this woman bloom into her sexuality.


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

Maybe I'm crazy Here but I don't think anything that you listed is baggage. What I do think has the potential to be baggage is getting hung up on them and letting them play a role in your thinking.

What will make the decision for me would simply be a partner that I have a connection with and somebody that has a sex positive attitude.

I personally don't care if you've only had one partner or had limited experience.

Do you have an open mind now? Do you enjoy sex or is this something that you do simply as an obligation to your partner? are you willing to be a little adventurous and explore with a new potential partner?

If I feel a connection with the person I'm with I'm going to enjoy it, whether we were swinging from the chandeliers, hogtied to the rack or looking each other in the eye in good old fashioned missionary. Whatever it is that your doing, if you're doing it with somebody you enjoy doing it with that is what makes the difference.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

DepressedHusband said:


> If you eat her *****, you will own her forever


Every once in a while I read a post that makes me think that there are a few select individuals in the world who are infinitely smarter than I am who have attained a level of intelligence and wisdom that I will never attain in my lifetime.

This post was not one of them.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

browser said:


> Every once in a while I read a post that makes me think that there are a few select individuals in the world who are infinitely smarter than I am who have attained a level of intelligence and wisdom that I will never attain in my lifetime.
> 
> This post was not one of them.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

DepressedHusband said:


> If you eat her *****, you will own her forever


*I'd have to guess that just about everybody has dined on my RSXW, and nobody owns her skanky a$$!

But she seems to think that she owns everyone who ever has!*


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *I'd have to guess that just about everybody has dined on my RSXW, and nobody owns her skanky a$$!
> 
> But she seems to think that she owns everyone who ever has!*


Buy her for what her worth is and sell her for what she thinks she is worth. DJIA 101.....


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

*1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him*

I wish I could find someone like this. Most of the women I've met have been riding the c**k carousel since their divorces and have racked up some impressive mileage. I'm not interested in anyone like that.

*2. Told you she'd never once achieved orgasm through PIV sex due to her husband's lack of concern about her sexual needs*

This wouldn't bother me. I guess I would consider it a challenge.

*3. Has never had sex in any position other than missionary, doggy, or spoons?*

Men like to be the leaders...alpha. Men also like to think they are more experienced than their woman when it comes to sex. This would actually take some of the pressure off of him and give him the opportunity to lead her in exploring new dimensions. 

*4. Has been in a 100% sexless marriage for the last 13 years except for frequent solo sessions with her toy collection?*

As long as her love of toys wasn't the reason for the sexless marriage!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

DepressedHusband said:


> that's because your stupid.


LOL! It might be a little more effective had you used the words properly. It should say "that's because you're stupid". OTOH, eating a woman out is not necessarily the way to win her heart for ever. It typically requires a little more than just being good at cunnilingus


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I guess I don't understand some of the men who would be opposed to a woman with some experience. We learn something from everyone we are with (or at least should). If the OP is willing to learn and share her experience (or lack thereof) that is great. But the presence of experience is NOT a bad thing. The more you practice, the better you get. You guys that are in to **** shaming must be very insecure in your own manhood


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hellomynameis,

I merged your two threads on this topic. Only one thread on a topic.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Ynot said:


> I guess I don't understand some of the men who would be opposed to a woman with some experience. We learn something from everyone we are with (or at least should). If the OP is willing to learn and share her experience (or lack thereof) that is great. But the presence of experience is NOT a bad thing. The more you practice, the better you get. You guys that are in to **** shaming must be very insecure in your own manhood


For me, it has nothing to do with shaming and everything to do with STD's


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Decimated said:


> For me, it has nothing to do with shaming and everything to do with STD's


You need to get out more and/or study the stats in greater detail. You have a greater chance of being in a car accident than you do getting an STD. Date low risk women and it is not a problem. OTOH if you want to bang the bar maid who has been with every guy in the bar, you might have reason to take pause.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Ynot said:


> You need to get out more and/or study the stats in greater detail. You have a greater chance of being in a car accident than you do getting an STD. Date low risk women and it is not a problem. OTOH if you want to bang the bar maid who has been with every guy in the bar, you might have reason to take pause.


I forgot to mention, it also has to do with character and standards. 

Ynot, you cant have it both ways. The more partners...the greater the risk. It's a game of chance, or luck, like Russian roulette. It doesn't matter where you meet them...it's where they've been. How can you determine who is a "low risk person"? You can't tell by how they look or where they work. You don't know their whole life story and they aren't necessarily going to tell you the truth. 

My XWW had one affair, with one married guy. She contracted HPV and had to have a hysterectomy.

No thanks...not for me. I'm not in a hurry to get cancer of the mouth, throat, testicles...etc from a virus that it is estimated half the population is carrying...without symptoms. To me, sex is something special. Something to be shared within a committed relationship. I'd rather wait for someone who lives their life by a similar moral code and has more respect for themselves. But that's just me.

Good luck out there Ynot!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Decimated said:


> I forgot to mention, it also has to do with character and standards.
> 
> Ynot, you cant have it both ways. The more partners...the greater the risk. It's a game of chance, or luck, like Russian roulette. It doesn't matter where you meet them...it's where they've been. How can you determine who is a "low risk person"? You can't tell by how they look or where they work. You don't know their whole life story and they aren't necessarily going to tell you the truth.
> 
> ...


Thanks! To each their own. I refuse to live my life in fear of the unknown. We play Russian Roulette every time we get behind the wheel of a car. It doesn't stop me from driving. The extremely low chance I have of getting an STD is not going to prevent me from enjoying an experienced woman either. 
BTW it has nothing to do with self respect. In fact I would say the person going out and living their life is probably more respectful of themself than someone afraid to live life is.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Hellomynameis said:


> Guys, would you get involved with a 40-something woman who:
> 
> 1. Has never had PIV sex with anyone but her ex-husband of almost 25 years although she did engage in non PIV sexual behavior with a few guys before him
> 
> ...


I have been with less experienced women than that in their thirties. I was content.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Just have sex with her. If you don't like it....Hit it and quit it.

If it was me. Sure. Not all women have an O through PIV. You could be her first! 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk


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