# Completely Losing Interest...



## sczinger (Jun 7, 2018)

Since my EWW left February of 2018 I've gone through most all the stages of grieving. I've even revisited a few. I am truly approaching, if not on the cusp of, total acceptance. Seemed crazy when people in the know said it could take a couple of years. But along with that comes no motivation. I perform well at work and around family. I'm fine with my friends and co-workers. The thing is, I've dated quite a bit but have almost given up for now on dating. I've met some really nice woman, none of them like my ex, but they all seem to want to get serious. Even after I've told them where I am in my process they still seem to push a little too hard. I haven't lost interest in woman but I have lost interest in any long term relationships. I'm hoping it's not permanent. There was almost a level of motivation when I was grieving... Now that I'm accepting I'm thinking I just don't care about long term plans... I'd rather get home and relax with my pup and enjoy my own company. I'm sure it's normal but a little confusing and maybe a little sad. I'm not a recluse but it's hard to explain.


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

sczinger said:


> Since my EWW left February of 2018 I've gone through most all the stages of grieving. I am truly approaching, if not on the cusp of total acceptance. But along with that comes no motivation. I perform well at work and around family. I'm fine with my friends and co-workers. The thing is, I've dated quite a bit but have almost given up for now on dating. I've met some really nice woman, none of them like my ex, but they all seem to want to get serious. Even after I've told them where I am in my process they still seem to push a little too hard. I haven't lost interest in woman but I have lost interest in any long term relationships. I'm hoping it's not permanent. There was almost a level of motivation when I was grieving... Now that I'm accepting I'm thinking I just don't care about long term plans... I'd rather get home and relax with my pup and enjoy my company. I'm sure it's normal but a little confusing and maybe a little sad. I'm not a recluse but it's hard to explain.


This sounds like a temporary new normal for you (protective stage too). You are likely TIRED. Don't forget that stages of grief roller-coaster back and forth. Time and rest are your friend (10-ish months). Don't romanticize your ex--you want better character, dedication, and more. You have time to take a break and probably, when you least expect it, your new life will creep up on ya and say, "Hey there!"


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I have seen others improve comfort level with 5-HTP Extra--dietary supplement. OTC, read label, may want to check with doc to make sure compatible with Rx meds. (available at Walgreens-type pharmacy)


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

It takes time, most cases. 

Take care of yourself. This is all normal, I know I don't have to tell you that, I'm sure you know already. 

Enjoy peace and quiet. You'll do more when you're ready.

Hang in there.


----------



## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Maybe consider doing activities where you're able to socialize with other people in a casual environment. You can create relationships naturally over time. That way you won't have the 'interview-like' pressure of dating to deal with.

There are networking opportunities, where people are in the same place to meet new people. These would be things like MeetUps. You can also take informal classes through local universities for crafts or whatever. So when you're learning pottery or whatever, you're also talking with classmates. And there's always workout groups. Classes like boot camp typically meet at the same time and you see the same people over and over.

You mention you have a dog. Are there any dog parks in your area? If you go at regular times, often you'll see the same people and it's easy to start chatting. You can help this process along by training your dog to recognize the kinds of women you're interested in and then going over to them for belly rubs


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Perfect! Now you can wait until you really meet someone who is special.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Its very early days. It was 4 years before I felt emotionally ready to think about a new relationship, and I didn't date at all in that time. Far too tired and exhausted being a single mum of three and trying to recover mentally.


----------



## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

I think you are doing good. No need to rush into another relationship before taking care of you first!! A house and a pup sounds great-- work, family and friends are good too. You will know when the time is right to start dating again and there is absolutely no rush to date. And your right, I"ve heard there are many desperate women who want to settle down so be careful.


----------

