# betrayed by husband



## phoenix (Jul 28, 2009)

I have been married for 15 years to my husband. I have a 24 year old daughter from a previous marriage. 
I recently found a videotape that my husband made. 8 years ago, he secretly videotaped my daughter while she was showering. Not once but 5 times. I am so devastated over this. I did confront my husband on this issue. First he tells me he made a mistake. Now he totally denies it. But I know in my heart without a shadow of doubt that he made the film and when I viewed that tape, the love that i had for him died. I feel our marriage is over. But for some reason I am afraid to leave him. We do have a 10 year old son together.
I have not told anyone about this. The tension is growing heavier between us with each passing day. I feel like I am going to crack. 
I would really appriciate some advice.
Thank you


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Get out now. Take the tape and turn it over to the autharities. Do not believe another word he ever says.

This man is a predator......she was what 16 at the time.....

Seriously.....He doesn't need to be around any children. Get your son and leave....and don't tell him that you are going.....if you have to stay with a friend. Once the police are involved, you should be able to get a restraining order and move back into your home......

Please......please protect yourself and your son. Who knows what this man is capable of.  And remember that it is not a reflection on you.....but he is sick.


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## Candice (May 29, 2009)

I totally agree...call the police now. Let them view the tape at your home. Let them handle it. He is a predator. This is a serious crime. Protect yourself, your children and other children. Who knows what else he has done or is capable of doing.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

:iagree:


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## D8zed (Mar 12, 2009)

I agree that she should report the incident to the police but I don't agree she should leave. I think she should kick his sorry azz out.


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## phoenix (Jul 28, 2009)

Thank you all for reading my post and for your advice. 
It's hard for me to leave without him knowing as I am stuck here in Mexico after loosing my home in the states due to foreclosure. I have no friends or family here. I communicate with my family via internet when I can reach them. We have went through all of our savings and are totally broke. I could ask my family for help but I hate putting that burdon upon them. 
My husband told me if I wanted to leave then go ahead but there was no way I was going to take his son from him. All I want is for him to let me go in peace with our son. But I don't think that's going to happen. 
I really don't think that I could get any help from the authories here in Mexico. 
My daughter and my husband have never gotten along very well. In fact, she hates him. If she were to ever find out about this she would have him killed. She knows people who would do it. I don't want to see him killed. He is the father of my son. 
I do not want to have to tell my family about this. All I want is to be free from him.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

You must tell your family. You shouldn't use the mexican autharities. And what the heck? You are in Mexico....what a wonder place for him to be right now.

Take you help from your family....take your son.....even if you have to have someone come get you and get the heck out of there. Come home to the states and then file for your divorce....they won't give him any rights to your son if he is wanted in something so nasty and disgusting as filming a minor in the shower. 

Chin up....do what you must and you will fell so much better...I swear it. No more excuses.....get any help you can and do what is best for your son. PLEASE.....PLEASE.

And take care.....we are here for you.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Burden your family and protect your kids!!!

Mexico is a wonderful place for your husband to escape. 

If he denies this, then he hasn't accepted the problem and has probably continued this type of behavior with other children. Don't think for ONE minute that this was an isolated event.

Plan your escape. How far from the border are you? Get some money wired. Plan a day away from home (shopping, site seeing, school shopping, whatever the excuse) and get to the USA. 

It is very difficult for sexual predators to change, even when they are willing and seeking help! KNOW this as a fact.


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## Ladybug.06 (Jul 29, 2009)

Have you ever thought that maybe your daughter hates him for a reason that you don't know about? If he videotaped her how do you know he never tried anything with her? It is more common than people think.....If he did how can you forgive someone for doing something like that to your daughter? You will always have that in your mind and I doubt you can move past it, not since it involves your daughter. I know I love my children far more than I have ever loved my husband. I know it is difficult to leave but if you don't you will unhappy if you stay.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

I agree with Ladybug......think about it.


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## Candice (May 29, 2009)

Ladybug.06 said:


> Have you ever thought that maybe your daughter hates him for a reason that you don't know about? If he videotaped her how do you know he never tried anything with her? It is more common than people think.....If he did how can you forgive someone for doing something like that to your daughter? You will always have that in your mind and I doubt you can move past it, not since it involves your daughter. I know I love my children far more than I have ever loved my husband. I know it is difficult to leave but if you don't you will unhappy if you stay.


:iagree: Obviously he is a child predator....he crossed the line with your daughter what would stop him from hurting your son? You NEED to protect him. Take the tape,your son and leave. Where there is a will there is a way.


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## phoenix (Jul 28, 2009)

Hi eveyone,

I finally got a chance to use the computer today in private. I have been reading your replys to my post. 
First of all, I know that I need to get out of this marriage. You are right. I will never be able to get past this. And what woman in her right mind would live with a man who does such awful things to her daughter? I know all that. I think about it every day. That is all I do. I don't go anywhere. I just sit in this apt. day after day and think.
But I have a problem and I feel so stupid about this. Everytime I think about telling him that I am leaving I get this sick feeling in my stomach and start shaking. I think that I am afraid of how he is going to react. I can just see him on his hands and knees begging me not to leave him. He can be very dramatic. 
Everyday he has been coming up t0 me trying to hug and kiss me and telling me how much he loves me. He begs me to stop hurting him by my rejection of him. 
He still denies what he did. I have tried talking to him about it but all he does is denies it and then goes to another subject. He mainly talks about how crappy my family is and how I excuse any of their wrong doings but make a big issue out of his wrongdoings. 
He even made the comment that if we split up than my daughter wins because he feels that she has been trying to split us up from day one. 
He's here. I have to go.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Omg...bless your heart. He is mind (insert an ugly f word here) you.
You don't need to tell him....If you saw the tape yourself...that is all the proof you need. And better to believe your daughter than this man...right. I mean if you were going to err wouldn't you want it to be on the side of her......not him.

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Why the heck does he have you in Mexico anyway? that sounds fishy to me. Maybe it was incase....maybe it's a coincidence....stop talking to him about it. Act like everything is alright....get him to start trusting that you are staying and then the first chance you get...bolt.

He is manipulating you....and you need to do whatever you can to protect your children.

take care...God bless


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## jane. (Jul 10, 2009)

I agree with Denise. Don't tell him. When he leaves for work in the morning, pack up as much stuff as you can in the car and drive yourself and your son back to the States to your family. Then hand the video tape over to the police.

It all sounds quite simple. But I know that this action requires a lot of strength. So I pray that one day and soon, you have the strength to go.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

*Go to the American Embassy, now.

You can seek protection, shelter. 

Take the tapes with you.

No exuses, woman. *


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Great Idea Sandy55. I wish I had thought of that one....there you go phoenix....that is a wonderful plan.


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## Candice (May 29, 2009)

Sandy55 said:


> *Go to the American Embassy, now.
> 
> You can seek protection, shelter.
> 
> ...


:iagree: Just leave no explanation. And go to the authorities.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with Sandy. They are a good source.

Don't tell him!!! Have a plan.


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