# pregnant and not porn quality anymore



## Shano (Sep 30, 2010)

I posted most of this in the considering a divorce section.

To sum it up, I was a virgin when I got with my husband before we got married. He's had numerous other partners before me (none really that he admitted to until after we were romantic or married). 



I don't get him off sexually anymore. He tells me that often enough. I was trying to give him a handjob cause he wanted one.. and I didn't even have my hand on him for more than 2 minutes before he pushed me away because I wasn't doing it right.

He's the only partner I've ever had. I've done what he showed me to do.. and what he said he likes. I don't give as good of blow jobs as so and so (another woman added to the list of ex-fiances.. I think she was number 2 or 3).

I'm 7 months pregnant and starting to show for real. I'm not as attractive as I was when we first got together. My pants don't fit, I've got a bump, and my breasts have increased in size to make wearing a lot of my old clothes tight or not cover the bump all the way. I just recently started not fitting my old clothes. I don't turn him on. Porn does.

I can't ever get him to touch me the few and rare times he get sin the mood (after he was looking at porn). Its usually me getting him stimulated and ready, then he mounts me, cums, and its done. It hurts. I don't get off. I'm not really in the mood anymore.

I've begged him countless times to at least get me wet and ready before he does something. He rarely does. Or if he does its a few seconds and "your ready".

I don't want him touching me anymore. I don't feel unattractive, I love my body, but my husband doesn't seem to care about it. He says he does, but action wise? Its been almost a month since he last touched me intimately. 

I know this hasn't been a problem for him. He's been through at least 6+ pregnancies, and had no qualms about ****ing his wife or fiances at he time they were pregnant from day 1 of pregnancy to days after delivery (his wife literally gave birth about 40 weeks after giving birth the second time). But me, I'm different?

I don't get it. There are a lot of other things that's happened and the lack of intimacy in bed really has me thinking he doesn't want me on top of other things. 


What gives?

is this normal?


----------



## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

i would say that in some ways it may be normal.. being pregnant is hard enough with hormones and such, it sucks, i am pregnant right now (17 weeks) and sometimes i dont want to do it, i have been married for 8 yrs and 6 months, so, here is my advise:

Men are visual creatures, and as such, they need to be "visually" stimulated (IE porn or naked wives boobies ect).. my hubby has pointed out several times that he likes tight tops on me to show off my boobs LOL, he is a boob man.. so i do.. i also allow him to fantasize about and "look" at other "hoochie mamma's ( i call them that) and it does help in the bed.. the thing with Porn that people do not realize is the MAN or WOMAN is NOT in love with the porn ladies/men, it is the action they are doing, it is the "visual" part, and alot of men do turn to porn when their wives are pregnant. I know you said that he has done this whole pregnancy thing 6 other times, and that does take a toll on him...

my advise would be try to get involved with watching porn with him give him a hand job WHILE he is watching the porn, it will (IMHO) get the visual going and stimulation as well, he will get off with you, AND you may too...

it is hard being pregnant, but, you can get thru this.


----------



## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

It is too late now but I hope you have learned your lesson to be selective with the men you date and marry. You have to scrutinize everything before going into a relationship instead of deciding you are in too in love for all the warning signs to matter. It's just too difficult to believe the sex department is the only display of his selfishness. For one thing, that he was free and single with six kids by different women was your first clue that you ignored. Now you and your child are soon added to his list of abandoned responsibilities.

He is not only selfish and inconsiderate but also very cruel. He knows he has an innocent in you, and he decided to beat you down verbally, emotionally, and mentally. His words and actions are deliberate. He does not truly get angry with you. It's all an act to make himself superior to you and make you feel inferior and subservient......like a child. He actually efforts to make you feel unattractive and incapable. That does not mean you are. It means he wants you to feel that way, and he is successful because you don't know what he is up to. You don't know his kind of personality that targets women for the purpose of hurting their feelings and causing them emotional pain. It is the same kind of personality that causes women physical pain. He's just beating you up in a different, using his words instead of his fists. With this kind of man, using their fists enters into the relationship if he is tolerated long enough and allowed to pulverize you verbally. All you know is that your feelings are hurt because he says you can't do anything right, and you're too innocent to understand you are not to wrap your self esteem around a man and hand him your dignity and power on a silver platter.

So you come here to ask what gives, and someone tells you they have some great and uncommon understanding of men to confirm you are in some way inadequate. Please don't listen to that. Learn for yourself what gives with the man you married. Learn for yourself that love is not supposed to hurt like you are hurting; that love does not make you feel inadequate and inferior. Learn for yourself that what you were taught to do is not supposed to be criticized when you do it; that your body is not to be criticized. The idea is appalling that he would make you feel incapable of pleasing him; that you are unattractive; that there is anything disgusting about your pregnancy, and that you are unworthy and undesirable; that you cannot possibly do anything right. He deliberately used all of those things against you. But none of them are true.

Start learning by reading these articles. They will explain what I spoke about and will also answer your questions concerning the other things going on that you mentioned. You'll find yourself in a lot of ah hah! moments. The more you know, the less he will be able to hurt you anymore, and he cannot try to hurt you if you are nowhere around. I hope you caught my drift because that is the only way to deal with an abusive person.

Romeo's Bleeding
The Toxic Man

You have to know you are worthy of love and desire. You just have to be willing to get out from under the degrading and belittling spell of an abusive man so you can find yourself a good and loving one.


----------



## Shano (Sep 30, 2010)

Thank you. I'm reading the articles now. I am a bit upset with a long term friend of mine who knew much of my husband's past before he and I meet and became friends then a couple and then married. No one said any of it. 

I was just told a sob story of how his first wife cheated on him throughout their marriage and after she had another man father the last child, he divorced her and lived a solitude life supporting his kids.


----------



## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

And that reflects badly on him how?


----------

