# 20 year old with very low sex drive



## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

I know this isn't about sex in marriage, but I thought some people here might be able to give some advice.

My 20 year old son is in his second sexual relationship (this girl is VERY sexual) and he's saying that he has difficultly getting and keeping an erection and is sometimes unable to orgasm(same problem in the earlier relationship). Both girls are attractive and he claims to be very attracted to them. He is on a low does of Lexipro for depression but hasn't been demonstrating depression problems for several years. Also, he's said that he "doesn't enjoy sex much". This could be due to a low drive or the fact that's it's ended up being such a hassle for him. He wants to fix this.

Any idea what kind of doctor I could send him to? Or anywhere else to get help?


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Hallelujah that he wants to get help and fix it!! 

That's all I have to say.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

It's probably the meds. 

Lexapro Side Effects in Detail - Drugs.com

These drugs are major libido killers. I took something similar and was off of it inside a month. Horrible IMO.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

T&T said:


> It's probably the meds.
> 
> Lexapro Side Effects in Detail - Drugs.com
> 
> These drugs are major libido killers. I took something similar and was off of it inside a month. Horrible IMO.


Thanks. I'm generally suspicious of "this ONE thing is the problem" statements. But decrease of sexual interest WAS listed as a common problem. So that's worth looking into.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What's he doing to treat the depression, besides medication? Has he talked to a doctor about coming off of it? That, and a complete physical would be my starting point. Is he in decent shape? 

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And how often does he spank the monkey?

C


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

PBear said:


> What's he doing to treat the depression, besides medication? *Just figured out life, mostly*. Has he talked to a doctor about coming off of it? *Was off it briefly, regressed slightly (probably other reasons) and we put him back on it* That, and a complete physical would be my starting point. Is he in decent shape? *Not overweight, not as healthy as he could be (but 20 looks really healthy to someone in their 50's!*
> C


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

PBear said:


> And how often does he spank the monkey?
> 
> C


Probably less than most. Not while in a relationship (that was the obvious first step).


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Well, I'd look at the physical first. And he should start working out regularly, in particular with weights and strength training.

I'd also think that talking to a counsellor to see if he can get some help with coping skills to help him ditch the meds would be good. And work with his doctor to maybe try some other meds instead.

Man, when I was in my 20's and not in a relationship, I think I was probably at it at least once a day, even if I was sick in bed.

C


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

Buddy400 said:


> Thanks. I'm generally suspicious of "this ONE thing is the problem" statements. But decrease of sexual interest WAS listed as a common problem. So that's worth looking into.


I am as well. But, in my case as soon as I started on the meds I had almost a numb feeling _down there_, after stopping I was right back to normal. 

PS, it's nice yo hear that you can talk openly with your Son about such topics. It says a lot!


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

It's the lexapro. I was on that crap for a year for anxiety attacks (bad). Never again. Erections were a problem, as was orgasm. When I did orgasm, it didn't feel like anything special. Made me "numb" to the world in my head. I took myself off it and got my head straight to stop the panic attacks. Been fine ever since. 

For me it created more problems than it solved.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pollo (Oct 17, 2014)

donny64 said:


> It's the lexapro. I was on that crap for a year for anxiety attacks (bad). Never again. Erections were a problem, as was orgasm. When I did orgasm, it didn't feel like anything special. Made me "numb" to the world in my head. I took myself off it and got my head straight to stop the panic attacks. Been fine ever since.
> 
> For me it created more problems than it solved.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I once took an SSRI because my old doctor was incompetent. It caused severe sexual issues, it has to be the problem.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Buddy400 said:


> Thanks. I'm generally suspicious of "this ONE thing is the problem" statements. But decrease of sexual interest WAS listed as a common problem. So that's worth looking into.


With most antidepressants it's not a side affect... lowered libido is a major effect of the drugs.

There are some, like Wellbutrin (bupropion) that will actually increase libido. 

I was on Lexapro for a while. I hated it. While it did get rid of the worst part of my depression, it made me so flat emotionally that I could not deal with it. It sounds like your son might be having a similar reaction.

What kind of doctor prescribed the Lexapro?

Has he gone to a therapist or psychiatrist? 

Start with his family doc to have his T leaves and thyroid levels checked. Also talk to the doc about his meds. See if there is something that he can be switched to.

A good psychiatrist can help him a lot with finding the correct medication for him. Or with helping him get off the meds to see if he really still needs them. Then to fine tune them if he slips back into depression.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

It's the Lexapro... I am convinced that drug is evil after hearing problems from several people I know who are on it now or have taken it in the past.

I urge you to do more than just "look into it." Figure out how to wean him off as quickly as possible.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> It's the Lexapro... I am convinced that drug is evil after hearing problems from several people I know who are on it now or have taken it in the past.
> 
> I urge you to do more than just "look into it." Figure out how to wean him off as quickly as possible.


Key word here is "wean" him off of it. My doc got pretty upset when I told him I took myself off of it. But I had done the research, and knew I had to wean off of it. I gave myself a month of decreasing dosages, then I was done.

It's not something you just quit "cold turkey". Doing so can really mess someone up in the head in a not very good way. 

But, getting off that garbage was the best thing I could have done for myself at the time. I'm sure there's a place for it, but "mild depression" or "anxiety" is not it, IMO. I was much better served by just pulling my head outta my azz, willing myself to just stop the vicious cycle of worry, getting out and exercising and socializing.


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## Pollo (Oct 17, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> It's the Lexapro... I am convinced that drug is evil after hearing problems from several people I know who are on it now or have taken it in the past.
> 
> I urge you to do more than just "look into it." Figure out how to wean him off as quickly as possible.


I agree. 
I've heard that doctors get extra pay for treating depression and getting people on anti-depressants. These medications are also extremely difficult to wean off of and many times I've seen people not be able to function again without the medication.


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

Pollo said:


> I've heard that doctors get extra pay for treating depression and getting people on anti-depressants.


Was this the same speech where Obama claimed doctors get extra money for amputating people's limbs?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Start with a test of his testosterone levels....





Buddy400 said:


> I know this isn't about sex in marriage, but I thought some people here might be able to give some advice.
> 
> My 20 year old son is in his second sexual relationship (this girl is VERY sexual) and he's saying that he has difficultly getting and keeping an erection and is sometimes unable to orgasm(same problem in the earlier relationship). Both girls are attractive and he claims to be very attracted to them. He is on a low does of Lexipro for depression but hasn't been demonstrating depression problems for several years. Also, he's said that he "doesn't enjoy sex much". This could be due to a low drive or the fact that's it's ended up being such a hassle for him. He wants to fix this.
> 
> Any idea what kind of doctor I could send him to? Or anywhere else to get help?


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## Pollo (Oct 17, 2014)

Methuselah said:


> Was this the same speech where Obama claimed doctors get extra money for amputating people's limbs?


No, I got this from a friend who used to do financial accounting for a doctor.


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

Pollo said:


> No, I got this from a friend who used to do financial accounting for a doctor.


Must have been the same friend who told Obama doctors get extra money for hacking off limbs.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Holy crap. 
There is medicine, that can take away a 20 year old's sex drive?! 
Can I get on this like 3 weeks before finals? Because that would be super awesome. 




Methuselah said:


> Must have been the same friend who told Obama doctors get extra money for hacking off limbs.


I am sure doctors don't get anything in any form for suggesting Brand A drugs to certain patients just like political contributions don't influence the way a politician votes on legislation. 

HINT: Bribes can come in forms other than money.


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