# How/wher do I find someone to direct my attention to meet women who have a simila



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

A poster wrote me this... need to find someone in similar situation or close, or someone of compatablity that matches mine. This is my life. I have value before God and I have other qualiities, values, and virtues of quality. I don't plan to marry again, but I would like to find a a friend and a life partner.

If you are in your 50’s, with grandchildren and son who is estranged, a spotty career history, multiple divorces, diabetes II, and see a therapist you must recognize all of those things affect your dating “value”. You would be best suited to direct your attention to women who have a similar “value”. 

The poster id'd of some basics I deal with. She I.D. my life exacly. 

How and when do I find someone to direct my attention to meet women who have a similar “value” as mine???.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Stand outside the local Emergency Room.

Take names and phone numbers of those wheeled-in on gurneys.

....................................................................................................

Seriously.....
Read what you wrote.

...................................................................................................

I understand that you have issues with your health and some personal stuff.
You have a potpourri [stinkweed, mixed sack] of 'baggage'.

But, for the life of me...why would you want to advertise for these things?
Asking for more of them?
You are saying you want to 'double up' on them.

I hope you have good health insurance.
This would drive a good man to drink.

It is not that I do not see your point.
I just do not agree with your logic.

You are telling us that a women with similar issues will understand 'yours' and will make a better partner?

Uh.......No!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Overcome and repair the fixable issues in your life.
Subdue the rest of the demons. {with medications?}

Diabetes care has come a long way, if you religiously follow the treatment guidelines.

Get better, then look for a mate.




The Typist II


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Davidmidwest said:


> A poster wrote me this... need to find someone in similar situation or close, or someone of compatablity that matches mine. This is my life. I have value before God and I have other qualiities, values, and virtues of quality. I don't plan to marry again, but I would like to find a a friend and a life partner.
> 
> If you are in your 50’s, with grandchildren and son who is estranged, a spotty career history, multiple divorces, diabetes II, and see a therapist you must recognize all of those things affect your dating “value”. You would be best suited to direct your attention to women who have a similar “value”.
> 
> ...


Dude, you have been told so many times. It isn't about what your "values" are at the moment. It is what you want it be. If you are willing to accept where you are at, then that where you always be. if you set your mind to improve yourself, to reach your potential rather than just accepting who you are, you can be anything or anybody you want. So the answer is for you to look within and decide where and how you want to go.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Walmart?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Stand outside the local Emergency Room.
> 
> Take names and phone numbers of those wheeled-in on gurneys.
> 
> ...


I see... I don't want a duplicate partner of myself. You are dead on. I am growing to be the best person for me. If I dont't become the best living human being for me, I am not good for anybody. I am going to grow as a man, maybe re-come -become a man. With tragedy and mishaps, I will become a better man, wiser, stronger, and understand I can get myself out of a jam. What don't kill you will make me stronger. Still coming out of the wilderness-Will I be better prepared as a human being and become a new-man. It nowmay be a new perspective of growing up...


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Stand outside the local Emergency Room.
> 
> Take names and phone numbers of those wheeled-in on gurneys.
> 
> ...


Yuck- you are so write. Why would I double up on anything... Thank you.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Davidmidwest said:


> I see... I don't want a duplicate partner of myself. You are dead on. I am growing to be the best person for me. If I dont't become the best living human being for me, I am not good for anybody. I am going to grow as a man, maybe re-come -become a man. With tragedy and mishaps, I will become a better man, wiser, stronger, and understand I can get myself out of a jam. What don't kill you will make me stronger. Still coming out of the wilderness-Will I be better prepared as a human being and become a new-man. It nowmay be a new perspective of growing up...


 @Davidmidwest do you mind if I ask you a personal question,you don’t have to answer obviously.
Do you have a serious “crush” on someone who isn’t reciprocating your interest.


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## Rgaines (Jun 13, 2018)

At the risk of sounding like one of the many people who are probably telling you what to eat and how much exercise you need, how about you join a co-ed group (maybe at a YMCA or something) that deals with exercise and weight loss?

Type II diabetes is almost synonymous with being in one's late 60's it is so prevalent. I understand that you're a decade younger, but that might mean you can get it under control and not loose any toes in another decade. Don't you want to meet someone who is interested in keeping her extremities also? Aside from which, someone who want's to work on that, shouldn't be seeing you as having that as baggage as they will also and the work could become a bonding thing.

As far as an estranged son. That is getting far more common these days than one might think. I don't know why I think you have a guilt issue with it as I haven't read that many of your posts. However it seems to me that the estrangement of grandparents has become such an issue it has turned into a rather big business in the psych profession. My take is that societal issues are helping to fuel it. There are web forums out there that encourage women to estrange their spouse's families. Literally forums where young mothers tell each other that their MIL is a four letter word and should be cut off because she is somehow toxic. No doubt in some cases that may be true, but in other cases it may also be true that young women have a fantasy of being the only person in their husband's life. It makes me wonder what these young women feel in cases where their husband's have female employers. LOL! (I'm thinking here that they have both control issues and female rivalry issues. How does that fit into the whole feminist movement ideology...? But I digress)

All that said, our bodies get rid of some blood sugar when we exercise. Even walking is a great way to achieve that. How about a nature walk group? Or any other group that has an activity that would attract women in your age group who are trying to be healthy? If young men can spend hours at gyms sculpting their bodies to be attractive to someone new, then we have to keep up even if we have a few more decades behind us.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Are you happy with your life right now? 

I don’t think finding a women is going to make you happy. You need to fix your life. You need to really create a plan and work on fixing your problems. 

Your number one goal should be to work to cure your diabetes. Period. Focus on that.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Walmart?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I deleted many of my typed responses to your one-liner.

Basically, you are mean.

The chap has issues.

He needs help.
Not burning kelp.

Life has beaten him down so low he sees dirt when he opens his eyes.

Note: I too, have been mean on TAM. 

Especially when one of the Martians gets hold of my typing ingers.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Sorry to have to tell you this, but your dating market value is close to zero.

No reasonably attractive woman is going to be interested in a overweight man with health issues and no money.

Fortunately, this is fixable. Start lifting weights and stop eating carbs, and start making some money.

Once you are in better shape both physically and financially, you will have a lot more success with women.

Or if you want a shortcut, look for a woman who needs a green card, assuming you are a US citizen. That's what my brother did, and he wasn't much better off than you. Now he's married. How long that will last and how happy he is, is another question.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> I deleted many of my typed responses to your one-liner.
> 
> Basically, you are mean.
> 
> ...


I worked in a place a few years ago and one of the tech guys was in a wheelchair.He was also heavily scarred around the face and upper body,this all came about because of a car crash when he was a child and he got badly burned.
He was very positive about life and we used to have a laugh most days.One day he was telling me about how some of his friends were trying to set him up on dates but he didn’t want to go because in his own words “If these women were desperate enough to go on a blind date with someone who looked like me then they probably have more problems than I do” and he didn’t want the sympathy vote either.
I completely understood what he meant.
Every straight man wants a hot woman whether he is eighteen or eighty,nobody wants to “settle”.
But as I told the op in another thread if you want to attract a good looking woman or any woman really,you have to look at yourself and see if there are improvements that can be made.In the ops case I gave him some advice and I hope he listened.
I know you have called me egotistical, but whether I am or not one thing is certain in my life,I know how to attract a woman and the op is going about this all wrong.
He needs to get himself in order starting with his health.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> I worked in a place a few years ago and one of the tech guys was in a wheelchair.He was also heavily scarred around the face and upper body,this all came about because of a car crash when he was a child and he got badly burned.
> He was very positive about life and we used to have a laugh most days.One day he was telling me about how some of his friends were trying to set him up on dates but he didn’t want to go because in his own words “If these women were desperate enough to go on a blind date with someone who looked like me then they probably have more problems than I do” and he didn’t want the sympathy vote either.
> I completely understood what he meant.
> Every straight man wants a hot woman whether he is eighteen or eighty,nobody wants to “settle”.
> ...


More so his mental health....

The first thing he needs to do is to remove the 'Kick Me' sign off his back.

The second thing I would recommend is for him to be quiet, to be mysterious.
If quiet, no one knows what you are thinking.
Be a man of few words.

In David's case that is a plus. :|


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> More so his mental health....
> 
> The first thing he needs to do is to remove the 'Kick Me' sign off his back.
> 
> ...


“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”.
Mark Twain.(I think)


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

The Red queen lost the battle in the end....


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> I deleted many of my typed responses to your one-liner.
> 
> Basically, you are mean.
> 
> ...


I take exception to this post - I have never seen you be mean.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> I take exception to this post - I have never seen you be mean.


He’s been mean to me often enough.lol.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> He’s been mean to me often enough.lol.


:surprise: I don't believe it!:wink2:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I love both of you TAMMERs.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Davidmidwest said:


> The Red queen lost the battle in the end....


The Red Queen is immortal.

She loses battles, not wars.

She will not end...
It cannot be.
It is not permitted.

When The Host dies, she will find another clever chest lover.


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## LTCNurse (Feb 5, 2018)

David, didn't you say you are a long term care administrator? This position not only makes a load of cash but is insanely busy dealing with crazy issues because people. I worked yesterday and had to call my administrator over two separate issues and I'm only one nurse in the building. Administrator jobs are certainly not the kind to make a person lonely. It is also easy to meet lots of people (extended family members) and to help other people improve their lives. There is never a dull moment.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> I take exception to this post - I have never seen you be mean.


Dear Sun and Blondi,
My eyes are open, my heart is clear. No baggage there to stop me. If you both lived in Chicago land I would date you.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

David, here's some advice for you. Read Corey Wayne's book How to be a 3% man. Then read it again, then again, and when you think you have it figured out just read it again. Then implement it and get your life in order. There's a lot of other books for you to read to, but start with that one.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Bananapeel said:


> David, here's some advice for you. Read Corey Wayne's book How to be a 3% man. Then read it again, then again, and when you think you have it figured out just read it again. Then implement it and get your life in order. There's a lot of other books for you to read to, but start with that one.


Yes, I will read it.

Thanks for the advice.


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