# Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)




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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Heh.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ha ha ha you guys are funny! It is always good to be able to have a sense of humor about things


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Such a lame answer. Everybody knows that since 2003 or so, if it is a GM or Ford, the first thing you check is a faulty crankshaft position sensor. Just as well change out the camshaft sensor if its a GM, too.



Okay, I'm just kidding, but since I'm a contributor to an article in a automotive technology magazine (for manufacturing folks), I have to admit that this was one of the first places my mind went to when I read the problem.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Apple, a sense of humor was ONE of the most important things that helped me overcome my ordeal. I edited the mind movies I had of the OM by having him dressed up as a clown on top of my ex, wiggling around, making clown noises and honking repeatedly a bicycle horn. I peed my pants with laughter every time I did that mental editing.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

me too, Mori. A sense of humor has helped me a lot. This is why I love to make up and use fun words such as "asshat, skankasaurus wrecks," etc. The words make me laugh and makes everything easier to cope with.
And your avatar makes me laugh too. I remember that guy from the Joe Boxer commercials


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

somewhat related story that just happened to me 2 weeks ago.



My son just started middle school this year and we went to his back to school night. We essentially followed his schedule and went class to class and listened to his teachers for 10 minutes each.
We get to his FES class (which I had no idea what that was) and we sit at a desk with a sewing machine and the teacher is standing in front of a kitchen, so it became obvious to me what class this was. The teacher began by saying that FES stood for Family Economic Sciences. She then went on to say, "Of course I'm sure when you all were children they called this something else-" She then paused expecting someone to chime in and say "Home Economics", instead I said with a sly grin "Women's work!"


the 5 second period of silence by the dads and the gasping by the moms that followed let me know that the joke had just went over like a lead balloon.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

1st Affair....

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!' 

The 2nd Affair...

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. 

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' 

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'Not this time!' 

The 3rd Affair....

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his brief case. 

'Oh my gosh!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!' 

The 4th Affair.....

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said, 'pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied, 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed. 

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, “have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.' 

The 5th Affair.....

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'' 

'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied, 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' 

The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.' 

The 6th Affair.....

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to, ' his wife replied. 

'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied, 'now just rest and let the poison work.'


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## Saffron (Mar 7, 2010)

almostrecovered said:


> somewhat related story that just happened to me 2 weeks ago.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lmao!  I love that the women gasped. _*chuckles*_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

bump for comic relief:rofl:


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