# REALLY like a new someone, scared to mess it up.



## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I have been though LOTS of ups and downs over the past year. The end of a 12 year marriage, having my heart broken soon after that by someone else, moves, kid problems, etc.

I started chatting with someone on FB (yes, I know....it does sound silly.) It progressed incredibly slowly, but we have finally moved up to actually exchanging phone numbers and texting. He has mentioned calling, but we haven't done that yet. 

I don't really know this guy at all, aside from what I see on FB. He leads a VERY busy life, has a job that keeps him traveling....although he is soon starting another position that will keep him stable. We don't geographically live close either. 

I guess typing it all out makes it sound stupid, really. I don't want a relationship, and I get the impression that he doesn't really either. But I REALLY want to meet him. I have told him so and he seemed to agree that we should meet up sometime.

I don't know if it's the fact that he's not close (location wise) and therefore "safe" that has me so attracted. I decided a while ago that I am not getting into a relationship with anyone. I have dated a bunch, and have enjoyed the heck outta my "singleness."

But there is something about this one guy that I REALLY like. He's very smart, witty, and handsome. Things are moving at a snail's pace......and although I get a tad impatient with that, it seems that's what works best for him. For the longest time I couldn't tell if he was genuinely interested or just being nice. I suppose him giving me his number means he is interested?

LOL, I feel like a high school kid again! Advice?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Just don't let yourself act like a high school kid. Don't indulge in thinking about him or checking for new messages. Act like the busy, responsible grown up you are. yes, that new rush and tingle is intoxicating, but the best way to hang onto it is to taste it in tiny sips.

He is clearly not in the same place, or he'd be fishing for more already-things would not have moved at a snail's pace. He either does not feel the same, or he is pretty interested but knows how to handle things maturely. Either way, you will figure it out, and pushing things b/c you have that "yowza" feeling is only likely to back fire. 

Remember, also, that you do not really know him at all-he can say whatever the heck he wants, but only time spent together--and time spent together over months--gives true access to someone's character, and that's the most important piece to figure out. Sure, enjoy and have fun--but remember that you have no idea if he's trustworthy and reliable, and you are a long way from knowing that. Distance makes it that much harder.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Such wise advice! All stuff I should know, it sure is nice to have a reminder! LOL! I do admit I think about him more than I should, but I don't check for new messages, and I certainly don't send him them very often. Although I am the one who usually initiates contact again after a few week lull, but he most recently texted me. I had given him my number about a month ago, but he never texted. Until I expressed my desire to actually meet. 

He's probably just looking for someone to bang. And quite honestly, that's ok with me too! LOL! :O


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

There is a reason he takes it so slowly. I can't help thinking he could be a fraud. The picture might be of someone else and not him at all. It's possible you are giddy and in love with a phantom.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

I've done this before and that is how I met my ex. Call him or ask him if he would like to skype. This will show you if he's really the person in his photos or a fake. If he's interested and is not a fake then he will agree to it.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Naturally a man should be more persuasive than a woman in moving a relationship towards sexual encounter. That's the normal way.

If you're the one pursuing it more than him, there's an imbalance to the situation.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Well, i know he's a real person because i know one of his family members, and im certainly not "in love" although i will go as far as to say giddy! Lol!

Synthetic - i have wondered the same thing.....i wish i knew if he just likes a woman agressor or if hes just not interested.

Asking him to skype is a good idea, but at the moment im waiting on him to text me. I havent sent one since friday and im determined to hold off until he does. Haha!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Well, found out why he was so hesitant......

HE HAD A GF! 

Of course, he had texted since my last post and we were talking about meeting up soon. And then the GF got into his phone and FB and found out about "us." I had no idea there was a GF.

She was actually super cool about it, wasn't mad at me at all. She did say she was over and done with him, so I tried to contact him one more time after what I assumed was the **** storm settled. Turns out they are going to "work it out."

Oh well.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

GA HEART said:


> Well, found out why he was so hesitant......
> 
> HE HAD A GF!
> 
> ...


Anyhow why do you want to pursue a man who tried to get in touch with you over FB when he already had a GF. He didn't even tell you he had a GF. Say even if he breaks up with the GF and contacts you on his own few weeks from now ... do you think it would be a good idea to go ahead with him, for he might initiate contact with someone else if you progress to be his new GF. Also maybe he is hiding other things as well. 

This ofcourse is assuming you are looking for something serious.. but few of your posts indicate you are not. Are you still in the same mindset? Don't you think it is better to find someone worthy enough with long term relationship in mind? :scratchhead:


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Oh no, not looking for anything serious at all. Especially after finding out that he had a GF. But was looking forward to some "fun." I'm over it, but pretty much feel like the kid who missed her trip to Disney. Bwahahaha! Next!


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

GA HEART said:


> Oh no, not looking for anything serious at all. Especially after finding out that he had a GF. But was looking forward to some "fun." I'm over it, but pretty much feel like the kid who missed her trip to Disney. Bwahahaha! Next!


hmm.... :slap:


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Hey, just because it's not your cup of tea doesn't make me a bad person.


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