# Advice please



## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

My husband and I are very shy about all things sexual. We have been married for 5 years. Have one child. We are very sexually active 3-5 times a week depending on how many hours we are working throughout the week. How do I ask him about his wants? I have never given a BJ before and am wondering if this is something he wants. How do I know what to do and how do I know if that is something he is interested in? Thank you for any advice.


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## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

If he is shy you could try making everything your idea. You mentioned oral sex. Perhaps instead of asking him if he wants it, ask if you can try it. It doesn't sound that much different, but it is. Considering how sexually active you are, it wouldn't take more then a couple weeks to try a lot of different things. I would be a little careful. Just because there is something he wants, it doesn't mean you will want it as well. I suspect you will be able to tell what he likes and what he doesn't by his reaction to it. If you slowly add some new moves to your resume, and he asks for a repeat of something, its pretty safe to say he liked it. Communication is key, and if he isn't much of a talker, you will have to take non verbal cues. Pissing and moaning is bad. Screaming and moaning is good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Eilonwy (Nov 27, 2012)

Yes, I would just try things out. Despite being verbally shy, it sounds like you guys have a solid foundation for sexual exploring.


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

Ok so I got my courage up last night and did the deed...I did not complete the bj but it was a good start for us. I think he was shocked and there was no complaining I guess practice is in order...maybe tonight we will go for round two. Thank you all for the support and any more advice will be greatly appreciated.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

southern said:


> My husband and I are very shy about all things sexual. We have been married for 5 years. Have one child. We are very sexually active 3-5 times a week depending on how many hours we are working throughout the week. How do I ask him about his wants? I have never given a BJ before and am wondering if this is something he wants. How do I know what to do and how do I know if that is something he is interested in? Thank you for any advice.


first I want to say you have a great attitude about sex.

go for it. I'm sure he will love it . don't forget to ask for something he can do for you!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

nice I didn't read the last post! practice dose make perfect!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southern said:


> My husband and I are very shy about all things sexual. We have been married for 5 years. Have one child. We are very sexually active 3-5 times a week depending on how many hours we are working throughout the week. How do I ask him about his wants? I have never given a BJ before and am wondering if this is something he wants. How do I know what to do and how do I know if that is something he is interested in? Thank you for any advice.





> Ok so I got my courage up last night and did the deed...I did not complete the bj but it was a good start for us. I think he was shocked and there was no complaining I guess practice is in order...maybe tonight we will go for round two. Thank you all for the support and any more advice will be greatly appreciated.


Oh I enjoyed reading this !! I so want to encourage you









A man complain that his wife took the lead on a BJ....never !! Some have to pull teeth for this... What a blessing you are dear lady! :smthumbup: Such willingness on the part of a wife -this is the most beautiful of gifts.... You are starting out on a new journey.....with each step you take pushing your boundaries just a little... coming out of your comfort zone to please & pleasure.....your sexual confidence will take on wings... your intimacy with your husband will grow ever stronger.... 

3-5 times a week but verbally sexually shy....it's there, you have it in you, have no doubt...but you feel something "caged"...I've been there...our earlier years, a slow start too. 

But you are so much smarter ~ Recognizing you want more & taking that leap earlier in your marriage. 

We too loved sex, we just didn't talk about it ~ I can't even explain it -other than I felt it was "taboo", certain acts, I shyed away also. This issue is my/our biggest regrets... We finally opened it all up...but it took far too many years. 

If I could go back in time...I really feel had I gotten my hands on some inspiring







books....it could have changed our world... helped me open up... earlier. 

Books on pleasing each other, throw in a sex game... with erotic suggestions/ questions & answers to learn more of each other.... a great jump start to opening up these delicate sexual fantasies / explorations .. 

****************************************************************

How about a Game like this for Christmas...

*1.* This one has like 300 cards ...Passionate/ Intimate/ Task cards / Sexual trivia questions/ sensual acts....for instance.....even if you put the board away...cards can be kept by your bedside.......  Discover Your Lover Adult Board Game  .... 

*2.* The Sexual Monopoly - this one won't last for hours, it's much too erotic , you both win >> 
 XXXopoly - Adult Board Games: 

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man: 

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun):

Sexually Shy: The Inhibited Woman's Guide To Good Sex: 

The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensible Guide to Pleasure & Seduction 

The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk: How To Entice, Excite, And Enchant Your Lover With Words:


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

As always simply, your words are nice to read. Think I'm going to buy the xxxopoly, lol


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

Thanks for the advice. I need to get him a couple more gifts for Christmas and we might just need to do a private gift exchange. It seems like the more experimental I am the more my husband is as well. After reading through some of the threads on this site I came to the realization that sex is a very important component of marriage and I would rather be proactive than look back and regret. I think a lot of people are not honest with themselves when it comes to how much of a role sex plays in a marriage(this was me not that long ago). The way I look at it now is that I signed up to be sexual with one person for the rest of my life and I want to get really good at it. Lucky for me my husband feels the same way. It has just taken us a while to talk about our wants/needs. By writing down some of my concerns on this site I have had more courage talking about them with my husband. Any more suggestions would be much appreciated.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

i'm going to check out those books, too. get a book on how to give a BJ if you want to get better and if you're shy about asking your husband. I am super super shy about talking about sexual things with my husband, but lately (from visiting here and feeling more confident), I told my husband that I want to try new things and we are. I thought that language wasn't too embarrassing for me to say.


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## Eilonwy (Nov 27, 2012)

If you're not opposed to watching porn, I use it to "study", lol. I don't usually like to watch BJ scenes, but there's one in Jenna Jameson's "The Masseuse" that is absolutely glorious. Watch it closely and you can find some nice pointers.

Found it: http://www.tube8.com/blowjob/blowjob-for-a/2429991/


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

I don't think I am brave enough for porn at the moment but maybe in the future...thank you for the suggestion. I will keep it filed away for the future.


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