# Anyone else feel like no one out there is lusting after them?



## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm pretty sure my husband, still finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, etc., but the LUST is just not there.


Welcome to marriage.



UnicornCupcate said:


> I'm wondering if it's healthy or dangerous to seek a little outside validation


Yes, it is absolutely dangerous to seek outside validation. It's the thing most affairs begin with. There is nothing "healthy" in it, at all.



UnicornCupcate said:


> or if I should just accept I'm officially undesirable now that I'm in my early 30's and married.


No, you should not "accept" that you are undesirable. It is not true. It is simply the normal pattern of our lives that the "lust" goes away when the oxytocin does.



UnicornCupcake said:


> my husband and I have a pretty healthy social life and we tend to go out together


Now, there's healthy..... keep it that way and you will have the best possible life. I'm not saying that all of life will be a picnic, but other methods lead to "worse".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

30's???? You are young and hot. 

You are married so its impolite for men to express sexual interest in you, so most won't. If you are very perceptive you might notice their interest, but otherwise you might never know. 

When you say your husband doesn't "lust" after you, what are you looking for. It sounds like he desires sex with you. Do you want him to be more active? Through you over his shoulder, toss you on on the bed and f you silly? If so, have you let him know? 

Have you done things to spice up your sex life. Do you surprise him with sexy lingerie? Does he try to make things exciting for you?


It is *very* dangerous to go looking for attraction from other men because you will find it. Since you are not feeling attraction now, the attraction from other men will fell wonderfully validating - and very difficult to resist. You might not be planning that way, but its a direct path towards cheating. Some attractive guy that you have always admired (and who is also feeling undesired at home) starts paying you attention. It can be innocent on both your parts initially, but its very easy for it to not stay that way.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

TJW said:


> No, you should not "accept" that you are undesirable. It is not true. It is simply the normal pattern of our lives that the "lust" goes away when the oxytocin does.


The blue is spot on. Absolutely, positively, do not think anything different.

As to the red, that may be the "normal" pattern, but it certainly isn't the only pattern. 
Married 30 years and not only do I find my wife attractive and want to have sex with her, I still lust for her intensely. In fact, there are times here in our 50s when my purely physical, animal attraction to her is stronger than ever. It can be overwhelming... all consuming. I wish I could explain why or how it is still like that, but I don't think I've done anything overtly to keep it up (so to speak) and I know she hasn't either. That's just how it is.

Maybe having sex about 2x/month has something to do with it. But I wouldn't advise decreasing frequency in a lust-loss environment as it may allow the fire to go out completely rather than reignite it.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

You are 31 and married...and you want to know that someone out there is lusting after you. Honestly, you sound like you are 50. 50 is when women become invisible. Doll yourself up and go walking around. People will notice you.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

My advice, Tell your husband that you need to hear it once in a while, he is likely thinking everything is alright while you are wanting attention from other men. Sounds like you need to talk to him. At 31 most women who have not let themselves go are still very attractive, most do not start looking unnattractive until early to mid 40s if they keep themselves up. 

I send my wife out with my credit card and tell her to buy a new dress and high heels, or to get hair and nails done, to get waxed, to have a professional do her make up, and I take her out on a date. 

Tell your husband you need to work on yourself and ask for his opinion, tell him you like to hear it. Your husband should be the only source of lust and desire in your life, he should be the only validation that matters, you should desire only his validation as his wife. Work on that.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Try to accept who you are and be the best you can be.

Don’t chase youth, you’ll never catch it, and will age quicker trying.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

NickyT said:


> You are 31 and married...and you want to know that someone out there is lusting after you. Honestly, you sound like you are 50. 50 is when women become invisible. Doll yourself up and go walking around. People will notice you.


NOt sure about that...there are many hot women that are 50+. I know lots of women that are well into their 50s and the guys that still hit on them, etc. crazy. A gal I worked with talked about her sister in law and how in her late 50s the attention she got from men was crazy, younger guys too. She said that it was not like her sister in law had model looks but it was her attitude and charisma that lured them in.

I remember watching a show on Dr. Phil one time and he featured older women and younger guys and this one lady was about 70 and she was hot...nice figure and great attitude, she seemed very intellectual and very sexy too. I thought wow I could honestly see why 50 year old guys were hitting on her. Very inspiring:wink2:.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Spicy said:


> Don’t chase youth, you’ll never catch it, and will age quicker trying.


I love that sentence! Very wise.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Lots of people want to bed desired.

OK try this - what *exactly* is it you want? It sounds like you want someone else to lust after you. What does that mean to you? Cat calls? A stranger you are sitting next to on a train etc starting to chat you up? Attention from someone particular that you know? How far do you want it to go?

If the guy you run into who tells you that you are beautiful asks if you want to grab a cup of coffee - do you go? Do you meet him again next time? 

You want attention and lust. Could you stop there? 


Would this work with your husband present? Can you go to a beach resort and enjoy the appreciative stares of other men - or does it need to go further than that. (last time my wife and I went to a resort there was a stunning woman "sunning" herself in a very visible location near the pool. Clearly looking for attention). 


I completely understand the desire, but I think you know where that road leads. 

Or to put it differently, imagine discovering that your husband has the same desire? 




UnicornCupcake said:


> He does sexual things like slap my ass or toss me on the bed, yes. Like I said, he's not the issue. I am. I have this pathetic (normal?) need to be lusted after. It's like his lust and his lust alone just isn't cutting it, . I'd like to be flirted with. I used to cover my face with a hood when I walked so menw ouldn't cat call me. Now I MISS it.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm at this stage in life in which no one is lusting, pining or thinking about me. Maybe this has been the case many times over and I just never noticed or cared enough to notice, but I definitely notice now and it's making me feel... Undesirable. Getting older (31) isn't helping my self-esteem none, either. Back in the day, it just always felt like there was _someone_ out there who wanted me, you know what I mean?
> 
> 
> I'm pretty sure my husband, still finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, etc., but the LUST is just not there. We're probably just over saturated with each other in that it's not "special" to see me because he sees me every day so I'm not blaming him for lack of attention or anything like that. We've definitely worked through some of our issues and physical, emotional and sexual attraction was never any of them so I really don't think there's anything I can seek within my marriage to fix this issue of mine.
> ...


I'll be honest here, the only women I personally know who think like this are the ones who placed so much value on their physical qualities when young, they did nothing to develop other parts of their lives. They basically assumed they would be young and desirable their whole lives and are having trouble coming to terms that they are no longer the "belle of the ball". IMO, these are also the women who are at most risk for having affairs. They are seeking external validation on a depreciating commodity instead of developing other parts of their lives on which to base their worth. Just my 2 cents.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

@UnicornCupcake, everyone wants to feel desired I think. Or recognized for good qualities. Looking for this validation defeats the purpose of genuine respect from others.

If you have to seek it, it's not genuine. It's usually offered by those with something to gain and who want to feed you what you want to hear. Hence why some posters mentioned that validation seeking can lead to (or encourage) affairs. You get a fix and a boost from compliments and the other person gets more of your attention. It can be a slippery slope.

I'm not sure if I have any valuable advice to offer, but my suggestion would be to find a way to be satisfied with yourself, and lose or at least lessen the desire to receive validation from others. Respect yourself enough and you will not need this.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Lila said:


> I'll be honest here, the only women I personally know who think like this are the ones who placed so much value on their physical qualities when young, they did nothing to develop other parts of their lives. They basically assumed they would be young and desirable their whole lives and are having trouble coming to terms that they are no longer the "belle of the ball". IMO, these are also the women who are at most risk for having affairs. They are seeking external validation on a depreciating commodity instead of developing other parts of their lives on which to base their worth. Just my 2 cents.


I wasn't always desirable, lol. I had my fair share of the ugly phases, for sure. But yes, the logic is sound. Kind of like the washed up football player who still goes to the games at 45 years old. I don't think this particually applies to me.

I think it's because I've worked so hard to lose weight. I just feel like I shoulld be applauded and congratulated more. It's not easy to remain slim in your 30's. Maybe Im hangry lol


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

OP the validation your husband is getting ant about looks. Itnit is as if you baked a delicious pie, and everyone tells you how great your baking is. When he fixes something it is not about sexuality, just like you baking something is not. But, your wanting to be lusted after is about sexuality. Your sexuality should only be shared with your husband, you are his wife after all. 

Why not go on a vacation with your hubby, wear a sexy dress or revealing swimsuit for your hubby and you will get lots of looks from everyone, but you will be doing it for your husband and for yourself, and there would be no chance of other men making moves on you with your husband there. It is the safest way I can think of. I enjoy seeing my wife looking sexy while we are alone on vacation, I know she?s turning lots of heads, but I am enjoying her looks and I am taking her to bed, no chance of any contact with anyone else. I know she likes to look sexy sometimes, it is an ego boost and I get the benefits from it. Try that?


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Lila said:


> I'll be honest here, the only women I personally know who think like this are the ones who placed so much value on their physical qualities when young, they did nothing to develop other parts of their lives. They basically assumed they would be young and desirable their whole lives and are having trouble coming to terms that they are no longer the "belle of the ball". IMO, these are also the women who are at most risk for having affairs. They are seeking external validation on a depreciating commodity instead of developing other parts of their lives on which to base their worth. Just my 2 cents.


Not even affairs, just feeling sad and upset that they are aging in general. You have to develop other mind interests too, train for a run, volunteer, take a course, etc.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Try to accept who you are and be the best you can be.
> 
> Don’t chase youth, you’ll never catch it, and will age quicker trying.


This is a big issue for me right now. I'm currently spending phenomenal amounts of money on micro blading, Botox, injections, etc.

Maybe it has little to do with getting attention from others (I don't ever really remember needed it before, but I always "got" it so maybe it's just adjusting to the fact that it's changed) and more to do with no acccepting the aging process.

I play competitive soccer with a lot of 21 year old athletes and honestly I think it's fucekd with my head.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

UnicornCupcake said:


> This is a big issue for me right now. I'm currently spending phenomenal amounts of money on micro blading, Botox, injections, etc.
> 
> Maybe it has little to do with getting attention from others (I don't ever really remember needed it before, but I always "got" it so maybe it's just adjusting to the fact that it's changed) and more to do with no acccepting the aging process.
> 
> I play competitive soccer with a lot of 21 year old athletes and honestly I think it's fucekd with my head.


Don't do it especially the botox and injections..instead use natural oils on your face such as argan, rosehip, coconut instead. Make sure you use sunscreen on your face, as well. Those things are better for you then that other stuff. 

I use Tazorac cream as well, it is a prescription. It was used for people with acne but was discovered that it helps with fine lines and wrinkles. It kind of peels the skin a little it is what they call a retinoid.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I wasn't always desirable, lol. I had my fair share of the ugly phases, for sure. But yes, the logic is sound. Kind of like the washed up football player who still goes to the games at 45 years old. I don't think this particually applies to me.
> 
> *I think it's because I've worked so hard to lose weight. I just feel like I shoulld be applauded and congratulated more. It's not easy to remain slim in your 30's. *Maybe Im hangry lol


I will admit that I can't relate to any of it because I've never been a head turner. But even then, I have compared myself to others on the qualities I do have, and like you, have had my moments of doubt. The key is to stop focusing on getting external validation and start focusing are cultivating that validation internally. You have done a great job losing the weight and should keep healthy because it makes you happy, not because someone else says you look great. 

I recommend you read the 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem. You probably don't need to ready beyond Chapter 3 to get a good idea of the importance of self validation.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Unicorn...if I remember correctly, you've done some web-camming before. I can't remember what else was in your past but I had the impression there was a lot of varied sex and partners and maybe some group stuff?

I'm just guessing that this type of lifestyle has made you kind of dependent on external validation. It sounds like that need has become more than just a sexual need and is now an emotional need for you. 

Sorry to say but no, that's not very healthy.

Also just sharing my experience...I'm now 50 and have had attention from males my whole life. There has been no significant difference between when I was 18 and now. In fact, I would say I get more attention now because I've gone from a skinny hottie to a curvy hottie and overall, curvy (on me) gets more attention.

So the fact that you somehow imagine that at 31 you don't get the attention you used to get and you fear that the 20 year olds around you are getting all the attention for themselves...is telling me that there is not a bit of logic in these feelings you are having. They are based on an emotional weak spot in your mind.

I hope you don't mind if I ask...have you been diagnosed with a PD? I have a friend who said all the same things you are saying when she was 30, and she also did some sex work. She was diagnosed as histrionic PD.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Faithful Wife said:


> Unicorn...if I remember correctly, you've done some web-camming before. I can't remember what else was in your past but I had the impression there was a lot of varied sex and partners and maybe some group stuff?
> 
> I'm just guessing that this type of lifestyle has made you kind of dependent on external validation. It sounds like that need has become more than just a sexual need and is now an emotional need for you.
> 
> ...


No, lol. You might have me confused with someone else? Never done any caming, lol. No group sex either.
What's PD?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I have told him and he does all of these things. Trust me. The problem is me, not him. His attention and his attention alone is just not satisfying me. To put a gender specific twist on it, I feel like it's the same as when he likes to run over and fix something whenever some female is in need. My friend's car wouldn't start, he got out of bed and went; my mom needed a shelf put up he did it instantly. These things validate him even though I ask him to do **** all the time it's idfferent when it's someone else. I think I'm just needing a little more than just him and his existence in my life.
> 
> Is it that bad to want to be flirted with now and then?


I don't think it is bad or unhealthy at all but caution is needed.

Feeling like you are desirable to the opposite sex in general is a healthy desire.

It might be thought disrespectful to catcall when you are with your husband?

Flirting with you when you obviously have a husband with you would be retarded!

There is what I refer to as harmless or light flirting that can range from a certain kind of smile to light compliments.

Engaging in light flirting lets someone know you find them attractive without crossing lines. I think it is healthy and as long as you are acting like an adult, harmless.

Catcalls are pretty juvenile regardless of age. 

Your feelings are probably fairly normal but explore with caution. I guaranty there are many men that will try to get in your panties if they think they have a green light. They will be some that will be able to sense your need and vulnerability and try to exploit it by complimenting you at an expert level.

Some will be very experienced and skillful seducers.

Be careful.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> I don't think it is bad or unhealthy at all but caution is needed.
> 
> Feeling like you are desirable to the opposite sex in general is a healthy desire.
> 
> ...


I'm aware men are quite ug... easy, lol. I don't imagine I'd have to try all that hard to get someone to show interest. That's not really what I'm seeking. I guess I just miss being noticed. I know I am with my husband a lot, but I'm actually drawing a BLANK as to thelast time a man ever noticed me remotely sexually. Or, had any interest in me whatsoever. Maybe they're out there and I dont know but feelign invisible isn't the best way to wake up.

Thanks for making me feel better, though. I don't feel as guilty (or pathetic) for my feelings now. I guess I'm just not handling aging well.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P


UnicornCupcake said:


> No, lol. You might have me confused with someone else? Never done any caming, lol. No group sex either.
> What's PD?


Personality disorder.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Sorry for confusing you with someone else!!

Did you do some sex work at some point?


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

I'm wondering if I should have redirected this post and made it more about how to adjust and accept the aging process. How to have self-esteem as a mature woman not a young girl. I think most of this is about how I don't want to be 31. I don't feel 31. I don't have half of the things other 31 year olds have. (Specifically a house as we currently rent.) So I guess I indentify more with younger girls, but I'mnot one of them either....


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm aware men are quite ug... easy, lol. I don't imagine I'd have to try all that hard to get someone to show interest. That's not really what I'm seeking. I guess I just miss being noticed. *I know I am with my husband a lot, but I'm actually drawing a BLANK as to thelast time a man ever noticed me remotely sexually*. Or, had any interest in me whatsoever. Maybe they're out there and I dont know but feelign invisible isn't the best way to wake up.
> 
> Thanks for making me feel better, though. I don't feel as guilty (or pathetic) for my feelings now. I guess I'm just not handling aging well.


And I am 180 from that with my wife. Plenty of attention from other women, but from my wife, aside from the rare lustful comment while we are having sex...BLANK as to the last time I felt she lusted after me.

I know it would be nice to have it all, but I guess my point is, and not that it makes your feelings any less important, but maybe a little perspective in that if you have to choose...strangers attention, or your husbands attention?


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## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I play competitive soccer with a lot of 21 year old athletes and honestly I think it's fucekd with my head.


Like you said though--in your twenties you wanted to hide in a hoodie and not be seen. Embrace this, you have a newfound power you haven't tapped into yet. 

I just watched a show on netflix--Big Mouth-- and it's about kids going through puberty and there is an episode where one of the girls wears a red bra and gets a lot of attention for it. Most of her feelings are conflicted because she got attention, some of it she liked and some of it she didn't. I loved this because I think most girls go through this where holy crap--I have this crazy power now to turn heads and I want to play with it but oh man...I'm not ready for all of it.

At 30, you are now ready for it, you can handle it! You can direct it properly and the great thing about being an adult if you can decide where that proper direction is.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm wondering if I should have redirected this post and made it more about how to adjust and accept the aging process. How to have self-esteem as a mature woman not a young girl. I think most of this is about how I don't want to be 31. I don't feel 31. I don't have half of the things other 31 year olds have. (Specifically a house as we currently rent.) So I guess I indentify more with younger girls, but I'mnot one of them either....


Many women find they have more self esteem in their 30s than before. It takes them that long to develop true self confidence and realize they don't need external validation. Or that the best external validation is of their more permanent qualities, not transient ones like youthful appearance. 

It's waaaayyyyy too early for you to be worrying about loss of youth. At 31, you've got at least a couple decades of serious hot-ness left in you. Moreover, I'd be willing to bet you're far sexier today than you were when you had your first legal drink a decade ago. 

You just gotta' understand how awesome you are ... today ... and that you'll likely be even more awesome tomorrow. Realizing that this is under your own control and you don't need anybody else to tell you that is the good/exciting/rewarding side of becoming a "mature woman."

I wish you the best and hope you rock your world and the world of those around you. It is most certainly in you to do so!


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

samyeagar said:


> And I am 180 from that with my wife. Plenty of attention from other women, but from my wife, aside from the rare lustful comment while we are having sex...BLANK as to the last time I felt she lusted after me.
> 
> I know it would be nice to have it all, but I guess my point is, and not that it makes your feelings any less important, but maybe a little perspective in that if you have to choose...strangers attention, or your husbands attention?


Oh absolutely. When you put it like that, I'm winning.
I think I'm just struggling with self-esteem.
If I hadd to choose betweent he scenarios you suggested I'd definitely be happier with what I have.
It's just tough to feel old and undesired, lol


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I think you have to put emphasis on other things...not sure what your education level is but can you go back to school part time, etc.? Like it was said here women adjust better to aging when they have other things going on...because your looks will fade however that does not mean that you can't be a hot momma at 50 or 60 or 70. Self esteem has to come from within you not from others...I know for myself I feel my best when I am working out and when I am taking a course. I achieved a degree at age 46 and am working on another educational goal currently.

I hear what you are saying but at some point you have to accept that you/I/we are all aging, better than the alternative. I am 49 and feel good, I still feel like I am 30. But I have to realize that the guys are not going to be checking me out in the same way they did when I was in my 20s. I feel it when I am somewhere and a hot younger girl walks in who could be my daughter and I think okay then all eyes on her, none on me LOL! I guess too that we don't see aging in ourselves, to me I think I still look the same as I did when I was 18 or 19 but obviously not...


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Hotness and sexiness comes from within, from attitude, etc. 

Just because someone is in their 20s does not mean they are all that. I have seen women in their 50s that would blow a 25 year old out of the water. I have also seen women in their 20s that are unattractive looks wise......so I don't know why people think that everybody in their 20s is hot no they are not.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

> I almost feel like I need outside validation. I would even welcome a cat call... That's how low I feel. I can't remember the last time a guy even hit on me.





> I have a phenomenal amount of willpower, so yes I do think I could stop after a few compliments.


One of these things is going to lose out: either your need for validation or your willpower. This seems like too risky a proposition to me.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

OK I caught up with the thread. I have a few things to add.

My older sister was seriously depressed when she turned 30, now she was old, it was the end of the world. We were worried how she would handle 40 and 50. Well now that we are both 50, she had no trouble all of her grieving for her lost youth was 20 years ago. No repeats. So maybe it isn't such a bad thing that you are going through this. 

Men are getting much more cautious about flirting, cat calling, or even noticing attractive women. There was a huge thread on this. Your lack of "attention" could be more political than age.

I'd volunteer to cat call you a few times just to help you feel better, but there are 2 problems, First you would think I was a Creepy old guy, and go back to hiding in your hoodie. And Second, with your screen name Unicorn Cupcake (whatever the reason you had for choosing it), I just perceive you as way to young for me to be attracted to. I've got 20 years on ya as it is. I'm pretty sure a cat call that included giggling wouldn't help you much.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm at this stage in life in which no one is lusting, pining or thinking about me. Maybe this has been the case many times over and I just never noticed or cared enough to notice, but I definitely notice now and it's making me feel... Undesirable. Getting older (31) isn't helping my self-esteem none, either. Back in the day, it just always felt like there was _someone_ out there who wanted me, you know what I mean?
> 
> 
> I'm pretty sure my husband, still finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, etc., but the LUST is just not there. We're probably just over saturated with each other in that it's not "special" to see me because he sees me every day so I'm not blaming him for lack of attention or anything like that. We've definitely worked through some of our issues and physical, emotional and sexual attraction was never any of them so I really don't think there's anything I can seek within my marriage to fix this issue of mine.
> ...


You know about half the people in the world probably feel like this right? By the way I am convinced this is one reason a lot of women cheat. They are used to be lusted after they get their personal validation and worth from being attractive and when they get older they start to notice they are not as desired. Boom mid life crisis. For men it's the same but they usually are the ones who pursue. The men want to validate they can still catch the pretty girl, the women want to be caught. Both leads to destruction. The healthier way to deal with this is to find out why you need someone to lust after you. Again lots of people who just didn't hit the genetic lottery are not lusted after. There are lots of ways to get healthy validation. You are going to age if you are lucky. That's life. Those who stayed forever young died young. 

Finally you can tell your husband, hopefully if he thoughtful he can help you in this area.


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## vauxhall101 (Jul 23, 2017)

My ex used to complain that women become invisible to men as soon as they hit 30, but I really don't agree, there are tons of hot women out there in their 50s, and I'm not just saying that in the placatory 'their non-physical qualities shine through' sense, I mean that the most alluring woman I have ever met was 46 (I was 20s at the time). 

I would also echo what someone else noted, which is that men are more wary of openly 'lusting after' women than they used to be, and as for my own self, no matter how attractive I find a lady to be, I never reveal any sort of sexual interest of any kind unless I am entirely certain that she is not in a relationship and that the attention will not be unwelcome or make her uncomfortable. Which is possibly why I get nowhere, and incidentally, I used to never think that anybody was lusting after me either, but my ex-w used to tell me that women were flirting with me all the time, I just never noticed it.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

vauxhall101 said:


> My ex used to complain that women become invisible to men as soon as they hit 30, but I really don't agree, there are tons of hot women out there in their 50s, and I'm not just saying that in the placatory 'their non-physical qualities shine through' sense, I mean that the most alluring woman I have ever met was 46 (I was 20s at the time).
> 
> I would also echo what someone else noted, which is that men are more wary of openly 'lusting after' women than they used to be, and as for my own self, no matter how attractive I find a lady to be, I never reveal any sort of sexual interest of any kind unless I am entirely certain that she is not in a relationship and that the attention will not be unwelcome or make her uncomfortable. Which is possibly why I get nowhere, and incidentally, I used to never think that anybody was lusting after me either, but my ex-w used to tell me that women were flirting with me all the time, I just never noticed it.


Some hot ladies over 50:

Helen Mirren
Jane Seymour
Robin Wright
Christie Brinkley
Jane Fonda
Sandra Bullock
Suzanne Somers 
Susan Lucci, etc. etc. etc.



I still don't understand why people think that you are only attractive in your 20s, sorry but I have seen lots of butt ugly people in their 20s.

To me it comes down at any age, to taking care of yourself and your attitude. 

I find it funny too when I have heard women say all these guys over 50 want some 20 year old...not true and not all guys over 50 can get a 20 year old! I have seen on dating sites where a guy who is around my age (49) says I am only looking for women from 25 to 35 and you look at this pic and it is like gross and you are thinking yeah dream on buddy.


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## vauxhall101 (Jul 23, 2017)

highwood said:


> Some hot ladies over 50:
> 
> Helen Mirren
> Jane Seymour
> ...


Madonna, Nigella Lawson, Julianne Moore, Holly Hunter, Michelle Pfeiffer.........the list is endless. My ex-w's usual comeback to this (bear in mind she's in her late 20s) was that those women can afford personal trainers and make-up artists etc etc. But exactly the same thing can be said about George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I'd argue (but I am biased) that it's easier for a woman to be physically attractive in middle age than it is for a man. Women don't go bald and have eyebrows that almost evolve into a new distinct life-form.

Tbh I'd find it a bit insulting when my ex used to say "All men want a 25 year old".


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

vauxhall101 said:


> Madonna, Nigella Lawson, Julianne Moore, Holly Hunter, Michelle Pfeiffer.........the list is endless. My ex-w's usual comeback to this (bear in mind she's in her late 20s) was that those women can afford personal trainers and make-up artists etc etc. But exactly the same thing can be said about George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I'd argue (but I am biased) that it's easier for a woman to be physically attractive in middle age than it is for a man. Women don't go bald and have eyebrows that almost evolve into a new distinct life-form.
> 
> Tbh I'd find it a bit insulting when my ex used to say "All men want a 25 year old".


Sela Ward
Dawn Wells
Sofia Loren
Jaclyn Smith
Michelle Pfeiffer

Yes, the list goes on and on.

My response to the statement that these people can afford personal trainers and dietitians is that regardless of what the world thinks of these women or my wife, the bottom line is that I still find my wife to be the most attractive of all... and that's all that should matter. If my wife thinks I'm handsome, I'm happy and give not one hoot what anybody else thinks. I would hope she would have the same feeling toward me and the rest of the world. If I think she's hot, she shouldn't give a **** about anyone else. I know human foibles come into play and that's not always how it works in real life, but by God it should!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Consider yourself slapped upside the head :wink2:

If I hadn't done so already I'd sell my soul to be 31 again. 31 is young, your life is ahead of you. You have health and beauty. ENJOY your youth, or I'll find a way to appear in smoke and brimstone and buy it from you. >

Seriously though you are young. Your husband is attracted to you. Other men are as well, they are just too polite to express that to a married woman. You you could go out and pick someone up this afternoon.


One suggestion though: work with aging, not against it. Rather than trying to look young, try to look beautiful for your age. Women who try very hard to look much younger than they are tend to look pathetic. Its possible to be beautiful at a wide range of ages.

Stop the botox and other treatments. Work on your confidence and your smile - that far more than makes up for a few wrinkles. 


For most men, the age of women they are interested in increases as they age. To me graduate students look like kids - I couldn't imagine having a relationship with one. Sure they are pretty, but not really in a sexual way. 














UnicornCupcake said:


> This is a big issue for me right now. I'm currently spending phenomenal amounts of money on micro blading, Botox, injections, etc.
> 
> Maybe it has little to do with getting attention from others (I don't ever really remember needed it before, but I always "got" it so maybe it's just adjusting to the fact that it's changed) and more to do with no acccepting the aging process.
> 
> I play competitive soccer with a lot of 21 year old athletes and honestly I think it's fucekd with my head.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm wondering if it's healthy or dangerous to seek a little outside validation or if I should just accept I'm officially undesirable now that I'm in my early 30's and married.
> 
> Can anyone else relate to this?


Yea, at age 31, it's time to go out to pasture.  Regarding seeking validation, the best most meaningful validation is that your husband still wants to be with you everyday and not experience being with other women. Most other men will think you're sexy and attractive enough to sleep with, but that isn't any meaningful validation because those men would feel that way about most women.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

uhtred said:


> Consider yourself slapped upside the head :wink2:
> 
> If I hadn't done so already I'd sell my soul to be 31 again. 31 is young, your life is ahead of you. You have health and beauty. ENJOY your youth, or I'll find a way to appear in smoke and brimstone and buy it from you. >
> 
> ...


I wish I could like this post a thousand times. It sounds like it came right from the nexus of my mind and my heart. The bolded sections are especially true. 

Women tend to see wrinkles where there are none, and grossly magnify the magnitude of those that actually exist. Let me tell you something: wrinkles are just about invisible on a positive, smiling, self-assured woman. 

I've said it on at least a dozen threads by now, but I'll say it again. I find my wife more attractive at 53 than I did at 23. 

If, God forbid, I was to lose her and I somehow had the fortitude to seek a new relationship, I'd definitely be focusing on the 45-55 range. I see lots of younger women who I'd label as attractive, but I could never actually be attracted to them. You'd be safe from me; not because you're not attractive, but because the two decade age gap would never fit. And that's the thing about age gaps: they never narrow--20 years apart today will still be 20 years apart 10 or 20 years from now. But as you ascend in years, so does your "audience." 

Always rock your real age, embrace it, love it, and share it with he who truly appreciates it--and the # of "he"s will always be high enough for you to feel great about yourself.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

The only man that should matter is your husband and by the sound of your OP it seems you don't feel he lusts after you. Work out if that is fact or if it is your self esteem telling you that.

I am 50 and have some down moments with the age thing but TBH I look better now than ever (IMHO > ). I set myself a challenge at 40 that I would be the sexiest 50 year old I could be. Now at 50 I set the same challenge to be sexy at 60. IOW today is the day that sets up the rest of your life, get it together and either get some counselling or do something proactive to get you through life. I get plenty of attention at home and I do get hit on outside of home. I'm not interested in younger men so it is irrelevant if they don't see me, who cares.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I have told him and he does all of these things. Trust me. The problem is me, not him. His attention and his attention alone is just not satisfying me. To put a gender specific twist on it, I feel like it's the same as when he likes to run over and fix something whenever some female is in need. My friend's car wouldn't start, he got out of bed and went; my mom needed a shelf put up he did it instantly. These things validate him even though I ask him to do **** all the time it's idfferent when it's someone else. I think I'm just needing a little more than just him and his existence in my life.
> 
> Is it that bad to want to be flirted with now and then?


His attention alone is not satisfying me? YOU HAVE ISSUES. Do you know how self centered and selfish and unfair that sounds? Deep inside I bet you wish you weren't married so you could go out and play and feed your need..........Invest in your husband and enjoy what you have or cut him loose!


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> He does sexual things like slap my ass or toss me on the bed, yes. Like I said, he's not the issue. I am. I have this pathetic (normal?) need to be lusted after. It's like his lust and his lust alone just isn't cutting it, . I'd like to be flirted with. I used to cover my face with a hood when I walked so menw ouldn't cat call me. Now I MISS it.



If you don’t want men to cat call you, it’s really not the face you should have been covering...
I never understood why some women need to be lusted after by someone other than their husband.
Seems kinda disrespectful to the husband, not to mention quite a bit superficial.
I don’t get it - on one thread they complain when men ogle them on another, when they don’t...
Lots of mystery; with women. 🤨 Can never get it right.



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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

inmyprime said:


> If you don’t want men to cat call you, it’s really not the face you should have been covering...
> I never understood why some women need to be lusted after by someone other than their husband.
> Seems kinda disrespectful to the husband, not to mention quite a bit superficial.
> I don’t get it - on one thread they complain when men ogle them on another, when they don’t...
> ...


Well you can get it right. Trick is to see us as individuals, not as a group that are all the same based on gender. Some of the advice given here by men about women makes me scratch my head, we are all different but the advice given is to treat us all the same.

Same in reverse for men. 

But yeah a little bit of mystery can be a good thing. I like it that I don't fully understand men in general and I like the mystery that surrounds how my particular mans mind works.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm wondering if I should have redirected this post and made it more about how to adjust and accept the aging process.



You do it by not relying on just the looks...Looks come and go.
There must be other things about you that are appealing and where you can find validation. Do you have an interesting job? Any interests? Aspirations and ambitions in life? Good friends you can identify with?
I would have thought that cat calling would rank towards the lowest on the list of possible validations..
Beauty comes from within. From a curious and confident personality - the inner aura will hands down outshine any superficial attributes. bla bla. And a nice perky ass goes a long a way too [/Cat Call ]
Did it help? I thought so.





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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I guess the question OP, you want to be lusted by men other then your husband, how exactly do you want them to show their lust for you? Cat calling, maybe sliding into your DMs, asking for nudes, etc... how exactly do you envision this lusting happening? Do you want your H to see this, get all jealous and fight for you? How would you feel if your H started "cleaning up" his appearance solely for the purpose of getting attention from other women? I understand it can feel nice/validating when someone pays attention to you, but this idea that maybe a little flirting with strangers will give you your fix is rather dangerous (and honestly, disrespectful to your H). At 31 you said you spend a phenomenal amount of money of your physical upkeep. At that age, what are you afraid of, why do you have such a high need to have a certain physical appearance to present to others? I would start there, try to sort out why this insecurity, especially when from what you are saying about your H, he is doing everything right in the way he views/treats you. To an extent, it seems a bit of "The grass is greener" in your mentality.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> Well you can get it right. Trick is to see us as individuals, not as a group that are all the same based on gender. Some of the advice given here by men about women makes me scratch my head, we are all different but the advice given is to treat us all the same.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Yes, you are right of course everyone should be treated as an individual.
My comment was slightly tongue in cheek (do emoji’s matter anymore? 🤨)
Having said that, there are some gender-specific similarities (for both genders) and it would be foolish (though perhaps more politically correct) to ignore them completely.

I think the comment about being politically correct was quite true: nowadays, cat calling someone might land you with a lawsuit for sexual harassment. It’s part of the reasons men maybe don’t do it as much anymore. 

But still...it must be hard for some men to relate to it: they would give anything for their wives to even notice them. 
I get chatted up sometimes; it just annoys me. It matters to me most how my wife sees me or how I see myself. I couldn’t give a perky rat’s ass how strangers view me. And I’m already 37.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

This is how affairs start.

Some sauve guy who understand that women want to feel desired and are feeling less than lustfull desire for their long term partner. Starts with the casual compliments and then with your husband is a lucky man to have such a beautiful wife I hope he doesn't take that for granted,!! Then before you know it there banging away!

Only to later relize that they were played because when the **** hits the fan he ghost her and shes left back peddling.

And the once stable comfortable marriage thet shared is now full of resentment distrust and anger.

Push that feeling down and do something to make your husband lust after you.

Bj's usually work


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

Personally, I think you are missing that excitement that comes with falling in love. 

The newness, when a man seems to notice only you, and puts all his efforts into winning you over. 

Feel good hormone: serotonin. 



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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

highwood said:


> Some hot ladies over 50:
> 
> Helen Mirren
> Jane Seymour
> ...


For God's sake...
Get that liberal dirt ball traitor, Jane Fonda off that list.

The rest are good examples.
J.F. has had more body lifts than Arnold Sw. made in Competition.
Her innards are rotten to the core.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I quite liked Jane Fonda in Barbarella >





SunCMars said:


> For God's sake...
> Get that liberal dirt ball traitor, Jane Fonda off that list.
> 
> The rest are good examples.
> ...


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## KaraBoo0723 (Oct 1, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I wasn't always desirable, lol. I had my fair share of the ugly phases, for sure. But yes, the logic is sound. Kind of like the washed up football player who still goes to the games at 45 years old. I don't think this particually applies to me.
> 
> 
> 
> I think it's because I've worked so hard to lose weight. I just feel like I shoulld be applauded and congratulated more. It's not easy to remain slim in your 30's. Maybe Im hangry lol




Ok seriously? You lost weight and think you deserve more applause and congratulations. Why did you lose the weight? For health reasons, to reduce or avoid present or future medical issues? Or just to have people feed your ego? Sorry, but this really offends me. I lost 135 pounds 3-4 years ago, at 34 years of age. I lost the weight because as a nurse I recognized the impending medical complications that could/would result if I continued to stress my body with that much excess weight. I have struggled with my weight since I was 18 and my weight loss was quite honestly brutal although not many people outside of my immediate family and friends knew how bad it was. I cannot fathom the mindset that others should reward and praise me for getting healthy. My family is thrilled that I have committed to having as many years as possible with them but to expect applause and congratulations from others? I did this for me and the people I love, not for attention and definitely not so others would lust after me. 

I sincerely hope you will consider starting IC, I really do. I get the feeling that there are some pretty significant underlying issues that are preventing you from being satisfied with your husband’s attraction for you and the self-pride you should have regarding your weight loss that clearly isn’t adequate enough. I truly hope that you can get to a point where YOU are truly content and happy with who you are regardless of anyone else.


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## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

This actually sounds like you have very low self esteem and need to have somebody else validate you.

If you are in Peri or menopause ( sorry didn’t catch if you mentioned age).... it tends to make you pine after your youth.

The hormones that are released when you fall head over heels in love with somebody are not the same as mature love.

You seem like you might be missing that feeling and miss that 24/7 attention from you husband that was present when you first met

Unfortunately that’s not reality and unfair that you expect your husband to fulfill your need of being lusted after.

It all boils down to feeling happy within yourself and not expecting somebody else to make you happy( as my signature states )

If you left your husband to find that exhuberant fall in love/lustfeeling with somebody else.....it will not last either....life gets in the way....and before you know it that chemically induced high has subsided to a more mature mutual love.

When spouses have affairs...they get those exuberant, chemically induced feelings because it’s new it’s fresh and no life stresses of bill payments, soccer practice, grass cutting etc get in the way of lusting after and fulfilling each other’s needs and sexual fantasies.

I am not a cynic to falling in love and feeling that euphoric/ lustful feeling.....but I am a realist.....very few can keep that chemical high in a long term relationship. That’s not to say you shouldn’t make every effort to keep your marriage alive with date nights, spontaneous sex around the house...new ideas in the bedroom etc, expecting that lustful feeling to be present all the time and after many years.....not going to happen....and if it does....I want to know how it is achievable 😉


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## DaveinOC (Oct 15, 2017)

posts like this make me really sad... i totally lust over my wife, the mother of my 2 children and she has no intention of welcoming/reciprocating it. i get rejected about 9 out of 10 times in a span of 3~4 months. Knowing how much she doesnt want to, I dont even try to initiate anymore. i wanted to discuss with her on what gets her "hot" and was willing to exploring things to spice it up... she wasn't interested.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I'm at this stage in life in which no one is lusting, pining or thinking about me. Maybe this has been the case many times over and I just never noticed or cared enough to notice, but I definitely notice now and it's making me feel... Undesirable. Getting older (31) isn't helping my self-esteem none, either. Back in the day, it just always felt like there was _someone_ out there who wanted me, you know what I mean?
> 
> 
> I'm pretty sure my husband, still finds me attractive, wants to have sex with me, etc., but the LUST is just not there. We're probably just over saturated with each other in that it's not "special" to see me because he sees me every day so I'm not blaming him for lack of attention or anything like that. We've definitely worked through some of our issues and physical, emotional and sexual attraction was never any of them so I really don't think there's anything I can seek within my marriage to fix this issue of mine.
> ...


I'd recommend you and your husband read "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" by Willard Harley. You have a need for affirmation that isn't currently being met. Ask your husband to start meeting this need.

I don't know what kind of shape you're in, but if you're out of shape, that might be something to work on on your end.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
I did not take the time to read the entire thread so please forgive any redundancy. It would appear that as some men think with their penis, you are now being cognitively influenced by your vagina. The attention you seek is not permanent but rather very fleeting. When a man issues a "catcall" to a woman he is not indicating his desire to settle down and raise a family with her nor is he appreciating her for anything more than a "hot lay". Afterwards he will move on to the next woman. Is this the type of "attention" you desire? Someone who wants only your vagina and then only for the moment?

Are you not more than the superficial package in which you are wrapped? You have lost weight, your H finds you desirable why do feel that is not enough? This desire for extramarital validation is how A's begin. This feeling of not being desirable creates in you a unique vulnerability that players can sense. And they are very practiced at exploiting that weakness. It is indeed fortunate that you and your H do things socially together or your story could be quite different.

It does indeed come down to contentment or, in your case, the lack thereof. Accept that you are older and that as we age we enter different facets of life. It is a natural progression. It can seem bad or it can be viewed as good based on your perception. In reality it simply is. So, make it what you will but be warned that it has destroyed many marriages. By the way, I am almost double your age, I exercise and take care of myself and I still consider myself marketable and I believe myself and therefore do not need it proven to me.

Lastly, consider this thought. At any given time you could find a male that "wants" you in the way you seem to be wanted but that is superfluous because all they actually want is their own pleasure, you are just a "tool" to accomplish that. Reducing yourself to a piece of meat for someones pleasure does not sound particularly ego boosting to me, does it you?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> I did not take the time to read the entire thread so please forgive any redundancy. It would appear that as some men think with their penis, you are now being cognitively influenced by your vagina. The attention you seek is not permanent but rather very fleeting. When a man issues a "catcall" to a woman he is not indicating his desire to settle down and raise a family with her nor is he appreciating her for anything more than a "hot lay". Afterwards he will move on to the next woman. Is this the type of "attention" you desire? Someone who wants only your vagina and then only for the moment?
> 
> Are you not more than the superficial package in which you are wrapped? You have lost weight, your H finds you desirable why do feel that is not enough? This desire for extramarital validation is how A's begin. This feeling of not being desirable creates in you a unique vulnerability that players can sense. And they are very practiced at exploiting that weakness. It is indeed fortunate that you and your H do things socially together or your story could be quite different.
> ...


I'm not sure she's looking for a settled down respected life with someone... she already has that. She is not looking to act on anything, but I think she's does want a bit of being looked at like a piece of meat, nothing but an object of sexual gratification, and that is not all that uncommon of a desire.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

BioFury said:


> I'd recommend you and your husband read "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" by Willard Harley. You have a need for affirmation that isn't currently being met. Ask your husband to start meeting this need.
> 
> I don't know what kind of shape you're in, but if you're out of shape, that might be something to work on on your end.


I've tried to explain that this isn't about my husband. At ALL. He DOES give me affirmation. It's just not 24/7 like the way I used to get it in my twentysomethings. I can't expect him to just follow me around and compliment me. But I'm tired of feeling invisible to anyone other than him.

Also. Fit. Very fit. 5'10'' 135 pounds. Skinner than most 21 year old women and I can out run most men, lol. My physical appearance and health isn't the issue. That's actually what's kind of killing me. If I had of turned into a frumpy wife forever wearing her hair in a bun I could understand never getting attention from the opposite sex again, but I haven't. I've worked very hard. It's sou crushing to jus tbe invisible.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I've tried to explain that this isn't about my husband. At ALL. He DOES give me affirmation. It's just not 24/7 like the way I used to get it in my twentysomethings. I can't expect him to just follow me around and compliment me. But I'm tired of feeling invisible to anyone other than him.
> 
> Also. Fit. Very fit. 5'10'' 135 pounds. Skinner than most 21 year old women and I can out run most men, lol. My physical appearance and health isn't the issue. That's actually what's kind of killing me. If I had of turned into a frumpy wife forever wearing her hair in a bun I could understand never getting attention from the opposite sex again, but I haven't. I've worked very hard. It's sou crushing to jus tbe invisible.


This may be a bitter red pill for you to swallow, but you were replaced by other pretty 20 somethings, and in 10 years, they'll be replaced by pretty young 20-somethings. That doesn't negate anything from your beauty or value, it's just that a 21 year old sexy young thing will always get a lot more attention than a married mom entering her mid-30's, just the cold hard truth of the matter. 

Placing so much value on your physical beauty is a sure-fire way to be miserable. If you live to 90, that physical beauty may benefit you maybe 20 of those years. The other 70 you need to figure out to be happy and content.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I've tried to explain that this isn't about my husband. At ALL. He DOES give me affirmation. It's just not 24/7 like the way I used to get it in my twentysomethings. I can't expect him to just follow me around and compliment me. But I'm tired of feeling invisible to anyone other than him.
> 
> Also. Fit. Very fit. 5'10'' 135 pounds. Skinner than most 21 year old women and I can out run most men, lol. My physical appearance and health isn't the issue. That's actually what's kind of killing me. If I had of turned into a frumpy wife forever wearing her hair in a bun I could understand never getting attention from the opposite sex again, but I haven't. I've worked very hard. It's sou crushing to jus tbe invisible.


You're not invisible, your husband sees and appreciates you. If you need to be reminded more often, then share that with him. It's not healthy or wise to have this need fulfilled by anyone but him. So I would invite you to share your feelings with your husband, and tell him that receiving compliments about your appearance is very important to you, and that it would make a big difference if he would do it more often.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I've tried to explain that this isn't about my husband. At ALL. He DOES give me affirmation. It's just not 24/7 like the way I used to get it in my twentysomethings. I can't expect him to just follow me around and compliment me. But I'm tired of feeling invisible to anyone other than him.
> 
> Also. Fit. Very fit. 5'10'' 135 pounds. Skinner than most 21 year old women and I can out run most men, lol. My physical appearance and health isn't the issue. That's actually what's kind of killing me. If I had of turned into a frumpy wife forever wearing her hair in a bun I could understand never getting attention from the opposite sex again, but I haven't. I've worked very hard. It's sou crushing to jus tbe invisible.





marriageontherocks2 said:


> This may be a bitter red pill for you to swallow, but you were replaced by other pretty 20 somethings, and in 10 years, they'll be replaced by pretty young 20-somethings. That doesn't negate anything from your beauty or value, it's just that a 21 year old sexy young thing will always get a lot more attention than a married mom entering her mid-30's, just the cold hard truth of the matter.
> 
> Placing so much value on your physical beauty is a sure-fire way to be miserable. If you live to 90, that physical beauty may benefit you maybe 20 of those years. The other 70 you need to figure out to be happy and content.





BioFury said:


> You're not invisible, your husband sees and appreciates you. If you need to be reminded more often, then share that with him. It's not healthy or wise to have this need fulfilled by anyone but him. So I would invite you to share your feelings with your husband, and tell him that receiving compliments about your appearance is very important to you, and that it would make a big difference if he would do it more often.


It's sad that you think of yourself as gone to seed at age 31.

Even sadder is that you seek lust from men other than your husband, whom you say treats you well.

How about this: One day you cross the line and cheat on him and he dumps you in a big dramatic and sad episode. You crying about your love for him.

You start a campaign to bang as many guys as you can, all the while blaming your ex-husband for your behavior.

And you STILL feel empty.

How sad is that?

I recommend that you seek professional counseling to fix this void in you before you do something stupid.


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