# Do I leave, or should he?



## daisykay (Mar 17, 2010)

short description of the situation.... I am married for 5 years to my husband and we have two daughters (3 & 4). Past two years I have been in a deep depression, finally on meds and seeing and thinking somewhat clearer. I want out of this marriage. He has been a very angry person for a long time, an angry alcoholic and does nothing around the house (but likes to have it clean all the time). He is trying to get better becuase he knows now that he is angry, so he is working on that, he quit drinking for 3 months (we are only 1 month in) ya I know, what is 3 months going to do , nothing, but.... He is starting to work out beucase he also knows that I am not physically attracted to him. But him doing all of this, unfortunatly does not change the way I feel and that I am not happy with him and I would be happier on my own with my two girls. We just bought a brand new house in October. I would not be able to afford it on my own, and neithr would he. If I stayed, I could rent out two of the rooms and be able to afford it, but I have my two girls, so that is a little scary. I have told him I am not happy and want out, and he refuses and says I am sick and we will get thoruhg this. How can I either sit him down and tell him to leave (which I don't think he will) or how do I pick up and leave. Do I just do it one night when he isn't there, and take the girls and some of their stuff and go, or do I tell him and wait for a good time to go. What do I do and how do I do it.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

daisykay said:


> short description of the situation.... I am married for 5 years to my husband and we have two daughters (3 & 4). Past two years I have been in a deep depression, finally on meds and seeing and thinking somewhat clearer. I want out of this marriage. He has been a very angry person for a long time, an angry alcoholic and does nothing around the house (but likes to have it clean all the time). He is trying to get better becuase he knows now that he is angry, so he is working on that, he quit drinking for 3 months (we are only 1 month in) ya I know, what is 3 months going to do , nothing, but.... He is starting to work out beucase he also knows that I am not physically attracted to him. But him doing all of this, unfortunatly does not change the way I feel and that I am not happy with him and I would be happier on my own with my two girls. We just bought a brand new house in October. I would not be able to afford it on my own, and neithr would he. If I stayed, I could rent out two of the rooms and be able to afford it, but I have my two girls, so that is a little scary. I have told him I am not happy and want out, and he refuses and says I am sick and we will get thoruhg this. How can I either sit him down and tell him to leave (which I don't think he will) or how do I pick up and leave. Do I just do it one night when he isn't there, and take the girls and some of their stuff and go, or do I tell him and wait for a good time to go. What do I do and how do I do it.



daisykay in ur post its not clear what exactly made u fall out of love with ur husband ? and why did u marry him when u said , u were not happy with him before marriage ?
If the reasons for ur not being in love with him are something that can be fixed , u should consider counselling .

However if u find no apparent reasons & yet u feel no love for him or feel it is over , then perhaps u have already checked out from ur marriage .
Even if he tries his best to work it out it will fail unless u too want to save the marriage .
If u have no desire to be with him u should leave him , it doesn't matter if he lost his mother , or how he will survive ,
every one can survive on his own .

best of luck


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