# Need advice on cheating wife



## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

Hello all,
I found out my wife having affair with priest in my community church. What should I do? I am so depressed. Please help.

Thank you


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Did your wife confess?
Do you have kids?
Been married long?
How old are you and your W?
Did you think all was well in your marriage?


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley.

How did you find out?

Is the OM married?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I would go to the person who is above the priest and have a talk with him.


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## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

Thank for replying.
My wife was not confess. I have 3 kids. We dated for 12 year and been married 13 yrs. I am 44 yrs old and my wife 40. I found out by her call log and her credit card she spent on hotel.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Expose it to the church higher ups. If the pastor is married expose to his wife.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

If this is a catholic church, contact the diocese immediately. This man is a fake, and a scumbag. He deserves to be tossed out for the imposter he is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Okay dude. You're giving us very little to go on with these 2-3 sentence posts. Need a little more meat to get the full picture here.

Did you confront her with what you found? Did she admit to the affair? Are you sure it was just the priest? How long has it been going on for? Was it a one time deal or a full blown affair? Is she remorseful? Is she defiant?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Renting a hotel room with a priest is so very risky for both. Not very smart and lots of brass. You have been given good advice. See the bishop. He'll call in the priest.


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## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

This is a catholic church. Here is story. Last June i saw my wife pay attention to her cell phone a lot. And her cell phone always in vibrate mode and been with her all the time. One night i checked on her phone call log i saw one abbreviated name call in and out a lot. Next day she knew me check on her phone so she cleared out call log and deleted that name also. But i still have this number so I googled it out and found out that number belong to priest. I asked her why she call him a lot morning afternoon and evening she told me she asked him about family problem. Then 2 month later when i am at work i checked on CC i saw a pending charge of Hotel at 9 AM. I check for hotel address and go there then i saw my wife car in parking lot and 1 and an half hour she came our by herself i did not see her lover. i asked if that is pastor she denied she told me someone else i dont need to know. Then later on i found on her car a note with her hand writing she said she loves that guy so much but dont know what to do because he is priest and she married she wish if they can see each other before. So sad 
I like to talk to bishop but about that priest but i dont have any evidence or picture to show to bishop so i am afraid he will not believe me. My parent in law agreed with me that guy is the priest but they could not think of anyway to help me at all.

Thanks all for your advice


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## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

To Crossbar
This is full blown affair and no she is not remorseful. Not any word sorry or apology come out form her mouth at all.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

You have to expose this!


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Show the texts and the receipt. What do you have to lose.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

go to the bishop, as if you have evidence---your wife doesn't have to know, what you know, and the priest doesn't have to know

Tell the bishop---either he handle this thing on his own so the church doesn't get anymore bad publicity, or you will go to the newspapers

If bishop gets pushy about proof---tell bishop to polygraph his priest----justout bluff him---I would imagine if anything, he will ask you to hold off, while he investigates------so you get the priest, while not having rock solid proof---this is because, the church is already on shaky ground, due to all these prior screw-ups that many other priests have been involved in---church does not want ANYMORE BAD PUBLICITY---so they will handle it quietly---but if you play your cards right, and bluff properly, you will force an investigation by the bishop

As to your wife---how in gods good name does she end up with a catholic priest------both knew nothing good could come of this---

He could do nothing but cause the church huge embarrassment, and himself to be ostrasized, and as to your wife---that is up to you---but if she is falling for a priest who isn't even spose to have a relationship----what does that tell you about what she thinks of you


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

jnj express said:


> Tell the bishop---either he handle this thing on his own so the church doesn't get anymore bad publicity, or you will go to the newspapers


I would tell the bishop that you are on your way to tell the newspaper but just wanted to tell him first as a courtesy. Let him then "persuade" you not to go to the newspaper. 

If the Bishop has any sense he will know that this is not all about proof - the truth always comes out in the end and it does not take "proof" for very damaging stories to spread. 

I would also tell the Bishop that this has shaken your faith in the Church. He will know that there is no-one so dangerous as a bitter ex-Catholic. 

Be prepared for the Bishop to try to involve you in a cover up. He will probably tell you what a gift forgiveness is, blah, blah, blah, and say that if you can not mention this to anyone then he will quietly deal with the priest. He will tell you that this is better for everyone (i.e. better for the church). I would simply tell him that you are concerned that other members of the congregation already know. 

Avoid any attempts by the Bishop to "pray with you" or hear your confession because this will almost certainly be an attempt to guilt you into not revealing the affair. 

Remember, too, that there is the entire congregation and community to expose to - do not overlook them.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Voltaire said:


> I would tell the bishop that you are on your way to tell the newspaper but just wanted to tell him first as a courtesy. Let him then "persuade" you not to go to the newspaper.
> 
> If the Bishop has any sense he will know that this is not all about proof - the truth always comes out in the end and it does not take "proof" for very damaging stories to spread.
> 
> ...


I agree with most everything. Regarding a confession with the bishop, that would be awkward at best. Despite this, church dogma holds that the confessional seal is absolute. If any clergy were to reveal, publicly, what they hear in a confession, they would be toast. Not only from the church, but they would be breaking clerical vows to God. Most bishops have been priests for decades, and I find it doubtful they would do such a thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dusty4 (May 8, 2013)

winflower said:


> Hello all,
> I found out my wife having affair with priest in my community church. What should I do? I am so depressed. Please help.
> 
> Thank you


You expose their affair and get priest out of your church.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

1. Expose the affair to the church and the newspaper
2. Get tested for STD's immediately
3. See a lawyer to understand your options.

She did not even care you catching her coming out of a hotel room. She has no respect for you and your marriage and does not care that she is humiliating you in the worst possible way. 

No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. If you do not respect yourself then who will?


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Tell you what to do. The bishop isn't going to do squat. They have been rug sweeping for decades now with all the pedophile priests over the years. You should go to church and when he's up on the pulpit giving the sermon, you call his useless a$$ out in front of everybody and make sure your wife is there too so they see them both. Then walk out and go see your friendly neighborhood lawyer and file for a divorce. I think that might end the affair. Hope I'm not too out of line on this but you just can't sit and do nothing. He's an embarrassment to the church, to the congregation, and you wife is a cheater who need to be handled with all the disrespect that she heaped on you.


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## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

Thanks all for quick replying


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I would still go to the bishop and speak with him,


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I would also see about fling to D from your wife.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You have to wonder---how this thing even got started---this priest cannot have any daliances, based on his vows---and how desperate is this woman to have an A. with a priest

What is the sense of staying with a woman, as messed up as she is-----

She can get all the spiritual help she needs from him, if that is what she needed-------but to get started on an A.---how did this even get started---they both had to know---it is as big a taboo, as there is---and they both have to be broken in the worst way----unless this is an EXIT A for both----priest taking an easy way out of his vows---she getting herself into the position of going for a D

She certainly cannot love her H---if she is having this A---she must really be in love with the priest---how else can you explain it---cuz this kind of A---ain't spose to happen


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## Rollin (May 18, 2013)

So whats the plan? What are you going to do about it? 

The faster you take action the better, no need to stay in limbo about anything.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

You have the cell phone number and are a witness to the calls. That's really all that you need! And if you and your wife's cell phones are on the same account or if you pay the bill for hers, then you can get a printed transcript of her calls and text activity from your cell-phone provider!

Make an appointment with your Bishop, pronto! And start implementing "the 180" on that conniving wife of yours!

That philandering priest needs to go!


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## winflower (Dec 30, 2012)

I paid phone bill for my wife but i have prepaid phone service. So i stuck here


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