# I'm so lonely I could die



## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*It's from a song but it applies here. I'm not a great looking guy. Women do not fall at my feet as I walk by. I am no Charlie Hunnam look-a-like. I'm not in the best shape but I have been going to the gym and making an effort to get healthier. That doesn't seem to matter. I have been single less than a year but it almost feels like forever. Sometimes I think I must have done something to deserve being alone but I can't figure out what. 

For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.*


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

LostinMO said:


> *It's from a song but it applies here. I'm not a great looking guy. Women do not fall at my feet as I walk by. I am no Charlie Hunnam look-a-like. I'm not in the best shape but I have been going to the gym and making an effort to get healthier. That doesn't seem to matter. I have been single less than a year but it almost feels like forever. Sometimes I think I must have done something to deserve being alone but I can't figure out what.
> 
> For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.*


the DB my XWW had an affair with was no looker either. sure for some women its about looks. keep you head up and make yourself attractive in other ways. thats for you to figure out how to make happen.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

LostinMO said:


> *It's from a song but it applies here. I'm not a great looking guy. Women do not fall at my feet as I walk by. I am no Charlie Hunnam look-a-like. I'm not in the best shape but I have been going to the gym and making an effort to get healthier. That doesn't seem to matter. I have been single less than a year but it almost feels like forever. Sometimes I think I must have done something to deserve being alone but I can't figure out what.
> 
> For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.*


What are your interests? There are meetup groups for almost every possible interest, and even if you don't meet women directly, you will make some friends who can get you into a social group that has women in it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What things do you do socially?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm sure a lot of us have felt this way at one time or another. You sound like you're down on yourself and having read your past threads I can see where you might be feeling this way. You've gone through a few hard knocks in the past while that would make some,if not many,doubtful and unsure. You have to remember that you're quite capable of finding someone in your life again,as evidenced by at least two previous long term relationships. There is no rule that says there will never be another one. You've already gone out of your comfort zone by going to the gym. So maybe extend that a bit more,and try some things you've never tried before. You never know who you might meet. 

You sound like a good man and I believe that old saying that 'you can't keep a good man down' Let that be your new mantra if you will. Take care.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Do you go to a gym? Does it have classes? Sign up for all of them. Yoga especially. Talk to everyone, even if its just saying hello. 

Women can smell the loneliness....they dont like it. 

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems and it could always be worse. Chin up my friend...you were born a man...you won the birth lotto. Rejoice, squeeze everything you can out of every second. Your life is short...you litterally have nothing to lose and everything to gain by just putting yourself out there
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Time to put your energy in getting in the best shape of your life. That means no soda and little alcohol. Drink only water and some unsweetened tea. Have a strict diet of high protein, low fat. Watch calories carefully if you have fat to shed. If you can't figure out how to eat healthy, eat at Subway every day for a couple months (their healthy/high protein stuff) with no mayo or cheese. Buy the 17g protein/260cal Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches for breakfast. McDonald's chicken sand with yogurt parfait and Wendy's chick sand with chili are great high protein/low cal options. 

Hit the gym 4 days a week, hard. 1hr workouts of lifting heavy, no slacking. Pay a trainer for a month or two if you need some help. Lot of good youtube channels that show you the proper techniques. If you have fat to burn, you'll need to insert some cardio.

Once you get lean and build muscle, you'll gain confidence. It's hard work. Not everyone can do it, which is why so many people are obese. You can do it and you'll never go back to being unfit again. It's like an elite club, only a few people have the discipline to get their bodies in awesome shape. You'll start to notice others that are taking care of their bodies and also notice the majority of the people that let themselves go.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

TBT is a wise, kind-hearted sort ..... You can't keep a good man down, indeed. 

Sometimes the world can feel a lonely place if we let it, but the truth of it is, what is most personal is most common. Including mantras for good men


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

As someone not-too-distantly single myself, the fact that you've been out of a relationship for not even a year yet and are already desperately lonely is a sign of you not being emotionally healthy. And that's going to turn women off. Most emotionally healthy women don't want to complete a man, they want him to _be_ complete. If you're desperate and lonely yourself, chances are pretty high that you're going to attract a desperate, lonely, woman. That's a recipe for two incompatible folks to settle for one another out of fear of being alone. It is not a recipe for a happy, functional, healthy relationship dynamic. 

It might improve your attractiveness to women a great deal if you learn to be all right with not being in a relationship. I don't mean that forlorn air of crushed hopes from a man who has just accepted he'll be lonely for the rest of his life. No, I mean you need to really be okay with yourself and your life, with or without a partner. That is what is going to attract a quality mate.

Get healthy, physically and emotionally. Get active and social. Do fun things for yourself that you've missed out on before. Complete projects that might have been lingering. Take up a hobby you'd abandoned or one that you've always wanted to try. Take some classes. Remodel your house. Rebuild an engine. Take up salsa dancing. Learn a foreign language. Travel. Do things that bring you happiness. Recognize that you can be alone and still be happy. Then, you'll be in a great place to have a healthy relationship with a partner and companion who enhances your already good life. _That_ will be attractive to women.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Lost, Rowan hit the nail on the head, here. Desperation is like lady repellant. You MUST learn to thrive on your own first. I just went back through your first thread, and that was back in January...not sure when your relationship finally actually ended, but that is NOT a lot of time. You need to allow yourself time to heal and get into a normal on your own before you think about diving into another relationship, especially after coming out of a long term relationship. Its much better to be by yourself than in a sucky relationship like you were over the last year or so.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*EleGirl: Nothing really. Taking classes and am usually covered up with school stuff and an internship. Trying a dating site with little success there. I don't go to bars or party.*


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*Some good advice here. Thanks all. *


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You're not alone my man. I'm in the same boat as you. 

PM me and I'll be glad to talk with ya. Maybe we can help each other.


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## Capricious (Sep 21, 2016)

I just wanted to give you hugs. Trying to get yourself in a healthier physical condition is a great way to boost your confidence and outlook. 
Once the weight starts to come off you will start to notice the difference not only externally but also internally.
As other posters have suggested trying new things socially will not only make you a more interesting person, but you will also find yourself interacting with a varied group of people.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

LostinMO said:


> *EleGirl: Nothing really. Taking classes and am usually covered up with school stuff and an internship. Trying a dating site with little success there. I don't go to bars or party.*


Ok, you have no social network and that probably comes across when you are trying to meet women.

Check out the website meetup.com It's not a dating site. Search for things going on in your area. You don't need to know anyone else in the meetup. You just go. That would fit your busy schedule since you can find things that fit when you have a bit of time.

Here where I live, we have a few hundred meetups. To give you an idea of what's out there... walking and hiking meetups, bicyclist meetups, motorcycle touring meetup, river rafting meetups, book club meetups. It's a great way to meet people while doing things you enjoy. I know a lot of people who are doing this and many of them end up dating people they meet this way. 

Plus you just might build a circle of friends, male and female, so you won't be so needy.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*I don't think I come off as needy and desperate. I am lonely. I haven't been single for long. But my lonliness is magnified by a few things. My son does not speak to me unless he wants something. He was alienated against me by the ex wife and her family. I did nothing for him to treat me this way. I call weekly and he doesn't answer. No return phone calls. No texts or msgs on facebook. I am not on speaking terms with my dad. He is such a negative person and complainer I just can't take being around him for long. I don't have any real friends. Maybe it's just me. But I cannot figure out what I did to deserve this. 

So I probably need to do some emotional healing but I am not getting any younger. Sometimes I have bad thoughts but I don't want to do that. I don't think I'm a bad person. I've never hurt anybody. I supported my family. I have always sent child support in on time. If I'm being punished for something I did, I know of a lot of people who should have it a whole lot worse.

I'm pretty down right now but I'll keep chugging along and hope for better things to come. I'll try the advice given here. Thank you.*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old is your son?

I really think that you need to just get out with people. Loneliness is not healed by staying by yourself. You need a social circle.

Women tend to do better after divorce than men. Do you know why? Because women usually have friends and socialize. It helps a lot to have people to do things with.

Men tend to isolate themselves and mostly only have work and in your case school. It is not healthy.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*My son is almost 18. The separation/divorce happened when he was 12. I didn't hear from him on Father's Day or my birthday this year.*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LostinMO said:


> *My son is almost 18. The separation/divorce happened when he was 12. I didn't hear from him on Father's Day or my birthday this year.*


Well, he's 18 and a male. Men are bad enough at remembering important dates. And at his age? Clueless. He's at a period in his life when he's self absorbed looking out for himself. It's not that he doesn't love you. He's just focused on his life. Don't be to hard on him and don't feel too hurt.


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## BrokenLady (Jan 19, 2015)

I know a few single ladies. They joined clubs like writing & art. They complain all the time that there are VERY few men in the groups!!!! If you want to meet women I'd start there.

I agree most with the posts that advise you to just make friends, male or female. We all need a social circle!

My friend organizes social events for work colleagues & school. It doesn't have to be a big event. Just think of a silly name for your group & meet somewhere with drinks & games...even pool in a pub is fun in a group.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BrokenLady said:


> I know a few single ladies. They joined clubs like writing & art. They complain all the time that there are VERY few men in the groups!!!! If you want to meet women I'd start there.
> 
> I agree most with the posts that advise you to just make friends, male or female. We all need a social circle!
> 
> My friend organizes social events for work colleagues & school. It doesn't have to be a big event. Just think of a silly name for your group & meet somewhere with drinks & games...even pool in a pub is fun in a group.


Another good thing to do is to take dance lessons. There are never enough men attending those classes.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Get a small cute dog bro. A little rat *** dog, like a toy terrier or a pug and carry him with you everywhere Women cannot resist dudes with little gay yappy dogs.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> Get a small cute dog bro. A little rat *** dog, like a toy terrier or a pug and carry him with you everywhere Women cannot resist dudes with little gay yappy dogs.


Not this woman. I’m not fond of little gay yappy dogs. Now get a Great Pyrenees, a German Shepard.. those are real dogs. :grin2:


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Check out the website meetup.com It's not a dating site. Search for things going on in your area. You don't need to know anyone else in the meetup. You just go. That would fit your busy schedule since you can find things that fit when you have a bit of time.


Lost, this is SUPERB advice. I checked it out for my city, and was amazed at how much was going on. I attended a wine/cheese pairing class on Friday evening and had a blast! I met a great married couple who were so much fun. No, I'm NOT looking for a partner, but I enjoy meeting people.

I'm so sorry your son is not communicating with you. Any chance you could suggest hooking up for coffee and trying to slowly reconnect? He's young and into his own life, but reaching out just to catch up on what's going on in his life may be an ice breaker.

I have known your type of loneliness. All I can tell you is I lived through it one day at a time. I got out there and met all sorts of people. I got involved in several activities. I simply cannot explain why I no longer get lonely. Sometimes I think I'm nuts. But today I have no problem whatsoever being alone. Maybe being an only child was beneficial after all ...

Hang in there. It sucks now - I know - but it does get better. I promise.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Getting a dog is actually superb advise! 

And meetup ....just being out in the world among others... can be good stuff. Even having a commitment to go to a social thing forces you (in a good way) to dust your mood off, pull your socks up, and go. 

As for your son, how about sending him a hand-written note/card that simply states you love him and any other words of wisdom that might be applicable? Leave the door open for him.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Not this woman. I’m not fond of little gay yappy dogs. Now get a Great Pyrenees, a German Shepard.. those are real dogs. :grin2:


*I have a 1/2 lab, 1/2 Great Pyrenees.  

bandit, I can't stand little dogs like that. I am convinced that's the reason me and my last gf broke up. She loved them more than she loved me.*


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

heartsbeating said:


> Getting a dog is actually superb advise!
> 
> And meetup ....just being out in the world among others... can be good stuff. Even having a commitment to go to a social thing forces you (in a good way) to dust your mood off, pull your socks up, and go.
> 
> As for your son, how about sending him a hand-written note/card that simply states you love him and any other words of wisdom that might be applicable? Leave the door open for him.


*I reach out to my son weekly. He ignores me.*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Not this woman. I’m not fond of little gay yappy dogs. Now get a Great Pyrenees, a German Shepard.. those are real dogs. :grin2:


I used to have a Neopolitan Mastiff. More of a lion killer than a dog. I think he scared women away. He was scary as fvck. But I was married at the time so it didn't matter. :grin2:


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LostinMO said:


> *I reach out to my son weekly. He ignores me.*


Keep reaching out... but not for too much longer.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> Keep reaching out... but not for too much longer.


*What do you mean, "not for too much longer"?*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

LostinMO said:


> *I reach out to my son weekly. He ignores me.*


How do you reach out? Phone call? Offering to do something cool with him? 

I have a brother who went through this. I just kept reaching out. Helped his son with some bills for college. Slowly his son has come around. His son is about 21 now. Earlier this year, after graduating from college the son moved in with my brother because he cannot find a job that pays enough to support himself... even with a degree. So they are finally working things out and getting along pretty well.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> How do you reach out? Phone call? Offering to do something cool with him?
> 
> I have a brother who went through this. I just kept reaching out. Helped his son with some bills for college. Slowly his son has come around. His son is about 21 now. Earlier this year, after graduating from college the son moved in with my brother because he cannot find a job that pays enough to support himself... even with a degree. So they are finally working things out and getting along pretty well.


*Phone calls. I make an effort. I don't forget him on his birthdays or Christmas. When he needed me to run him back and forth to a job, he called me. 80 miles rd trip for me. Didn't take his money. Just told him I wanted to spend more time with him. He lost his job and has avoided me ever since.*


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

LostinMO said:


> *It's from a song but it applies here. I'm not a great looking guy. Women do not fall at my feet as I walk by. I am no Charlie Hunnam look-a-like. I'm not in the best shape but I have been going to the gym and making an effort to get healthier. That doesn't seem to matter. I have been single less than a year but it almost feels like forever. Sometimes I think I must have done something to deserve being alone but I can't figure out what.
> 
> For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.[/COLOR]*




But what they did have was confidence. Look man I'll be honest your posts sounds like eeyore. You sound so down that I bet you come across negative. In order to attract women you need looks, money, confidence and or humor. Excess in any of those areas and you'll become more attractive...the easiest one to control is confidence because you can literally fake that till you make it.

Now you need to get healthy and COguy gave great advice about that. Weightlift and do it hard 4 times a week, stick with major muscle groups and arms/ shoulders. 

Get some nice new clothes that at in style. I suffered from this coming out of a long marriage. Take a female friend with you for this as they are better at style and what makes you look good. If you don't have a female friend go to a store like kohl or Jc penny, Macy's whatever , find a sales woman who looks like a woman you would want to attract and walk up to her and ask for help. NOT sheepishly but confidently! Make eye contact and tell you need a woman's opinion on upgrading your clothes and can she help for a few minutes on recommendations.

Have you been on OLD yet? You need a good profile and great picks. Again a female friend can help you with this. If you don't have one keep the information about you short, what you are interested in no more than 2 paragraphs. NO negative talk. 2-3 nice pictures, and someone take them for you and be wearing different clothes, you don't want to come across as the creepy guy taking 3 picks quick just to get the profile up. Finally blast out emails to 20+ women a day and go on dates. When on dates just be confident. And if you don't feel confident just act like you are until it becomes natural.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*Just checking in. Still go to the gym when I can but very busy. Still no gf. My ex talks to me less and less even though she says I am the best friend she ever had. Son still ignores me. 

So things are about the same. *


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

So you working your body but what about your mind....I. Realize you might be busy can I challenge you perhaps take a class on a subject you like....perhaps even a class on psychology or human behavior....in this way you get to understand how people handle obstacles in their lives....it can help to be a good listener, which is a hallmark of a great conversationalist, the ability to listen to others first and foremost. The body can not work with the head.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*I am taking classes. There has really been no time for much of anything else. That's about to end though. My body is better. I have a lot of work to do on myself. Frankly, I will never be good enough for some people. But there's got to be somebody out there...right?*


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Never tell a woman you are lonely. The only women who will be interested in that are women who will see your vulnerability & use you. If you like to read, try hanging out at a bookstore once in a while.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

LostinMO said:


> For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.[/COLOR][/B]


Famous, rich, and with confidence.... (and that's in reverse order).

What makes you think "depressed victim" is somehow attractive?

First step is to become a person _you_ would actually *want* to spend time with.


(PS: you say you "are lonely". Women don't exist to fulfil _your_ needs. They're people in their own right, and have their own interests and goals (and problems). "You" feeling lonely is _your_ problem. Any woman (or person) worth knowing is NOT going to be looking to fill your "gaps"/needs. If you can't appreciate the prime importance of that, earn some money, and -hire- a girl to spend her time fulfilling your needs as a customer.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Famous, rich, and with confidence.... (and that's in reverse order).
> 
> What makes you think "depressed victim" is somehow attractive?
> 
> ...


*Confidence makes up for being a serial killer? lol Women are ONLY emotional and don't use their brain? I guess I have been going about this all wrong. Become a psychotic, murdering **** and get the women. Treat women with respect and be alone. Okay. Got it!*


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## bojangles (Oct 11, 2016)

LostinMO said:


> *Confidence makes up for being a serial killer? lol Women are ONLY emotional and don't use their brain? I guess I have been going about this all wrong. Become a psychotic, murdering **** and get the women. Treat women with respect and be alone. Okay. Got it!*


You're twisting the logic. Women aren't attracted to serial killers because they murder, they're attracted to the confidence. If anything, the serial killer thing should make it obvious how important confidence is. It's so attractive that some women would rather date a confident serial killer than a nice guy that is afraid of being alone. 

You need the confidence first, then you can show respect. 

But yeah, I'm pretty lonely too right now and it sucks. Give yourself some time to be alone and get used to it. Love will find you when you aren't looking for it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

LostinMO said:


> *I am taking classes. There has really been no time for much of anything else. That's about to end though. My body is better. I have a lot of work to do on myself. Frankly, I will never be good enough for some people. But there's got to be somebody out there...right?*


You have time to go to the gym. So you DO have time to have somewhat of a life. You choose not to. You haven't changed a thing in 3 months. So how do you expect the REST of the world to change around you?

Did you ever write your son a letter and MAIL it as was suggested?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

With dating sites and such, I can't imagine how you can't find a gf. 
I'm thinking you should let somebody look at your profile and how you're going about that and letting them change it up accordingly.
There are TONS of women out there that are just as absolutely freaking desperate for a man as you are for a woman. It's true. And they are just as lonely, too. And there's nothing wrong with that. I do think it's wise to never tell a woman you're lonely, and if you are dating several at once, it's not hard to be confident. I suggest it for sure, in your case. Not telling you to lie in any way, just let them know you're looking for a special lady and think you may have found one if they ask. That way they know you're interested, but also know you're not desperate. In truth, they're probably dating multiple guys as well. When you pick one, be loyal.

If you write in a reasonable way without sounding like an idiot or serial killer (LOL), like you do here, there's no way you shouldn't bag a woman pretty easily.
I'm not a particularly handsome guy, either. Yet I am able to find a couple of women to date anytime I want--- because there's so many out there. 
You are just flat out doing something wrong. 

If you have a female friend or trusted female or male relative, let them look at your profile and give you an honest evaluation of what they think the problem is. That's my advice.....
Make some friendships with women and let them know you're looking in a tactful way. They'll be dying to set you up with one of their single buddies. Gotta build some friendships. Get out and work on making some new friends, and the gf problem will take care of itself.
Good luck!


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## cinnabomb (Oct 23, 2014)

LostinMO said:


> *Some good advice here. Thanks all. *


just a thought that helped me with my own introvertedness....try and make it into a game to talk to X amount of people a day. even just a head nod and "hello". You will find it fun and will be surprised at how many interesting things happen when you open up that way.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

*Checking in. Lonely but did not die.  My ex...no I did not cut off ties completely...is talking to me less and less. Hardly at all now. And she wanted to remain close friends and called me the best friend she ever had???

My son contacted me to ask for money. When he found out I had none, his last words to me were "**** you" and then he hung up on me.

My loneliness still ebbs and flows. Not quite as bad now. Maybe I am just more used to it. 

I do have a new friend but she has issues to work out and we probably won't become more than friends. So, it is what it is for now.

Just wanted to check in.

*


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

LostinMO said:


> *It's from a song but it applies here. I'm not a great looking guy. Women do not fall at my feet as I walk by. I am no Charlie Hunnam look-a-like. I'm not in the best shape but I have been going to the gym and making an effort to get healthier. That doesn't seem to matter. I have been single less than a year but it almost feels like forever. Sometimes I think I must have done something to deserve being alone but I can't figure out what.
> 
> For God's sake, John Wayne Gacy and Richard Ramirez had girlfriends. Adolf Hitler had a woman. I just don't get it.*


Keep getting in shape, lose weight. It takes time but be disciplined. Lift weights, you don't have to be Mr. Universe lots of women don't like that, but if you are fitting your clothes good they will notice. Plus it will give you confidence.

Try to strive in your career. Like it or not financial success makes you attractive to women, it makes sense when they are looking for a potential mate they want someone who provides security for their kids. This is kind of a built in thing. 

Learn how to dress. Get some men's magazines and start learning about how to dress yourself. Develop a style. Learn what you have about you physically that makes you attractive. If you have broad shoulders emphasis that. Whatever it is but you got to figure it out. 

Here is the thing I can't emphasize enough, learn to talk, learn to hold a conversation. Learn to listen, learn to respond. Read books about it, practice it. Get comfortable with it. 

When I say practice I mean join some groups with things you are interested in. Go to cooking classes where there will be other women there. Go to readings, got to places where they will be. Talk to everyone. Get comfortable talking to everyone. Get comfortable being the one to initiate the conversation. 

Finally learn as much as you can about everything so you are well rounded, know about stuff going on in the world. Be inquisitive because you never know what thing you know about will allow you to have an in to talk to a women. If you can comment intelligently on stuff you will seem interesting. Another good way to do that is to do a lot of different stuff. Things you are interested in. This will give you experiences to draw on and will also make you confident. Plus you never know who you will meet. It will also take your mind off your loneliness. 

If you learn that skill you will be able to talk to any woman, if you are not Brad Pitt, that is how you get them interested in you. You talk to them. It really is that simple. You can't be afraid to just go up and talk to them. Make a joke or two and then see where it goes. Or if you are in a group activity going up to someone you are attracted to and saying how much you like her dress. Then introduce yourself. Then go from there. Practice, practice, practice. 

Finally get to the place were you are OK to be alone. Going out, finding interests, and doing things will do that for you. You don't want to be in a place where you are making decisions in a potential mate out of desperation.

What your son said to you was awful. Really awful. When he comes back to you in 10 years and says you were not a part of his life, remind him of it.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Going to the gym on a regular basis is a great way to stay positive, too. I think you've been given some great advice. I believe that when we least expect it, love comes our way. Just live your life, enjoy life for what it is right now. Every day is precious, and some day, the right woman will come along for you. ((hug))


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## hylton7 (Jan 24, 2017)

I know how you feel dude I"m overweight (trying to lose it) so you not alone.


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