# Just crying tonight, help



## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Sad, so sad and so tired of feeling like this. I am in the middle of completing an important step to complete my graduate degree, have a birthday coming up, good friends and a great therapist but sometimes I feel like it just won't end. Just need a few words of support tonight


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Big hugs to you. It is a hard road but you will get there. Just keep moving forward even if it is little steps.

All the best for you degree and birthday.

And here is a bunny smilie for you :bunny:


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Volunteer for kids or animals. That has a way of giving you a lift and take one day at a time. Hell one hour at a time if you must. Stay busy and time will heal all.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes volunteering is a wonderful thing to do, it lifts your spirits and occupies your mind. Good suggestion.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

oh my, I have so much to occupy my time right now, I can't even think about one more thing, and yet, sometimes like tonight, its not enough to keep me from sadness. I miss having someone who focuses on me, I get that I am a grown up,can take care of myself, but it would be nice to have someone in my life who says, how are you, you are doing great, can I do something for you to make you smile. I am so good at doing that for others, maybe I just don't let others know I need it too, or at least would like it for myself.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

stillhoping said:


> oh my, I have so much to occupy my time right now, I can't even think about one more thing, and yet, sometimes like tonight, its not enough to keep me from sadness. I miss having someone who focuses on me, I get that I am a grown up,can take care of myself, but it would be nice to have someone in my life who says, how are you, you are doing great, can I do something for you to make you smile. I am so good at doing that for others, maybe I just don't let others know I need it too, or at least would like it for myself.


Yes, you SHOULD let others know that you need some support. People sometimes dont realize that caretaker types need help too! I know EXACTLY how you are feeling, I have been sad for months now. Some days its under control, others, it boils over. I decided that when I feel sad, I am just going to let myself feel it. It hits me hardest at night, so I let myself cry and know that I will feel better the next day. It is getting better, it will for you too.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

That's it exactly, the caretaker thing. The only problem is that I overwhelm those around me who are used to me being ok. My mom told me today that I am always good at everything so she didn't think I needed anything from her. Really?? How could it be that a 28 year marriage ended, I didn't want it, but I should be perfectly fine with that. I will feel better tomorrow too, feel a bit better already


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Charm hit on something important. Life is obviously going to be different now, so let this be a time to 're-train' you and those you interact with. You do need some support now, and as you said, that should be expected! Hard as it may be, don't isolate. It's very hard to show yourself as vulnerable and ask for help when you're not used to it. But it's healthy to do so. No, you don't want to overwhelm people and be 'needy,' but those who really care will not be bothered, and might just be happy that you're looking out for yourself. That's exactly the way I was, and when I forced myself to ask for help, I found that rather than being a bother to them as I'd assumed, they had been wanting to help and not wanting to 'interfere.' Perhaps it's the same in your situation.

You should be proud of yourself for all that you're accomplishing in spite of all the crap you're going through! You know this sadness will pass, but it's okay to just feel it and then let it go.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Hoping,

Have a good today, tomorrow and every day after that.

Take care,
Stretch


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Life is obviously going to be different now, so let this be a time to 're-train' you and those you interact with.
> 
> You should be proud of yourself for all that you're accomplishing in spite of all the crap you're going through! You know this sadness will pass, but it's okay to just feel it and then let it go.


Very good advice. Tell your friends you'd like them to check on you for a bit, that you are struggling, things are a bit overwhelming and you're used to handling it all but need some TLC and encouragement.  

And we're here.  How are things today?


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Crying is healthy. I'm glad I can cry after 15+ years. It means....it mattered. You shaped more people than you will ever realize. Some things are not meant to be forever, but the way you touched them.....priceless


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Thanks everyone, I am feeling a bit better today, got up and took care of business as usual. Even sad, I can get most stuff done. It just feels like I am dragging a 100 pound weight all the time. ANd you are right, it would be sadder if it didn't matter to anyone or to me, it was a long time and it left a mark, two great kids and two people who love each other trying to figure out how to be ok, in the world and with each other.


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