# Caught 8 year old girl watching porn on laptop



## Mattie J

I need some advice on something. I discovered that my 8-year old daughter has been visiting pornographic websites on her laptop. She has done this in the past before she had her own computer and I thought the issue had been addressed. She appears to have a strong curiousity about this at an alarmingly young age. She has an older sister who is 10 years old but has never done this, so it she isn't being influenced by her.

She's very much afraid for my wife to find out and I had a discussion with my daughter yesterday about it and I MAY have it under control, but I'm not convinced. I don't know what she has actually seen but I'm assuming it's everything imaginable. I'm just concerend that this curiousity could lead into more mature actions later at not such a later age! I don't want my daughter growing up too fast! Morality is a big deal in my household and I grew up in a strict Christian environment. I'm just not sure how I should handle this aside from placing parental locks on her computer and just having an additional conversation with her to determine where the fascination is coming from, what she saw, and what she thinks about it. She was very embarrassed about it yesterday and got very upset, even suggesting that I take her computer away (which she loves!), so it sounds almost like it's something she can't control. How could an 8-year old girl have an addiction to porn!?!? I feel like I should share this with my wife as well, I know she won't go off the deep end about it, so that should probably be my first course of action. However, my daughter appears to be more comfortable talking to me about it than to her mother, go figure...

And by the way, our girls are not surrounded by this type of material. We do not have any pornography in the house and my wife and I are very discreet about our intimacy, so the girls' exposure to this must be coming from school. Yikes, I didn't know what most of that stuff was until 6th grade, she's in 3rd!


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## JDPreacher

Put netnanny on your PC, talk to her about it and be done with it...it's not the end of the world.

There are worse things...so lighten up

Preacher


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## Mattie J

Thanks guys, I will look into the PCNanny thing. I know it may not be a big deal now but I don't want it to turn into one later on down the road, that's all. Thanks again!


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## GAsoccerman

If i were you I would have a serious talk with your daughter.

explain to her that porn is not "real sex" that is not how mommy and daddy do it. 

talk to her about sex the dangers of it, STD's Pregancy, etc. 

She is curious about her body, but she needs to realize that porn is not real sex.

show her what a condom is explain to her birth control, etc.

Tell her that sex is a tool for love and that is how it should be used.

I would imagine someone is watching it in your house or a friend of hers. Netnanny is a good one, but besides blocking it, educate her, she is curious and you ahve to let her know that porn is not the answer, that real love making comes from the heart and soul.

This is the time to step up tot he plate, she is curious about her body, show her it is a good thing, with the right person, just not any person.

your at a crucial time in her life, educate her before it is to late and she learns from some boy.


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## Mattie J

Thanks GASoccerman, sounds like good advice. I don't want to beat this thing to death with her, but I do want to be clear that the images she saw are not necessarily typical of what a married couple do, and that it is inappropriate for her to be observing these things at her age. I just need to remove the curiosity factor by providing her with as much information as she needs at this time. Thanks again!


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## Secretia Teller

That is such a big situation. Eight years old girl addicted to pornography. What are you going to do about that? I fear she may be having sex already, with boys a little older than hear. She should go to a medical doctor and also to counseling immediately. Taking the computer away won't prevent anything, she's seen what interests her.

I'll pray for your family.

Secretia


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## Mattie J

ST,

I appreciate your concerns and prayers. I highly doubt that she has actually done anything sexual at this point, she is NEVER alone with any boys, at school or at home. I believe this to be a case of attempting to find out more about what she may be hearing at school. It amazes me as to how early kids are now learning about this stuff. Thank the internet for this. Kids will often type in the website address and if they are a letter or two off, guess what? They are directed to a porn site. I have done the same exact thing myself. Talking to the school counselor about this may be a better idea, I'll talk to my wife about it first and see what she thinks. Thanks again!


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## LaBella

mommy22 said:


> You may want a little professional advice on how to tackle it and how you address it in an age appropriate matter. Granted, she is more aware than other kids her age due to the exposure, but you don't want to overwhelm her with details she doesn't necessarily need. Talk with her school cocunselor. The counselor may be able to guide you in the right direction. She doesn't need any details of you and your wife together. She isn't really ready for that IMO. However, I think matters of this nature are best addressed with someone who has higher degrees in child psychology. No, you absolutely don't want to beat it to death or strike any kind of fear in her, but sweeping it under the rug could be equally dangerous.
> Her intense curiosity could lead to sex at a much earlier age. Like I said, a school guidance counselor could help or could direct you to someone who could better advise you. The advice you get here is just opinions. You need more than that in regard to something of this nature.


:iagree: I bought my daughter a book called, ME, MYSELF AND I, do not remember the author, but it explains a lot about their bodies, what to expect and what to do. It might be a good way for you to handle the situation. There are also a lot of books out there to help her with her curiosity, since she seems to have more confidence with you than with her mom, you could do a lot of research and how to talk to her without being an embarassing situation. There is a website called *Daughters.com *that has a lot of information and another called *love and logic.com* that has advice on how to handle a lot of situations, check them out you might find other ideas as well.

Good Luck


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## carmaenforcer

I was horny at a very young age, no real outside influences to blame the morally deviant behavior on so I guess I was just born that way. My Mom was a very devout christian and didn't even let me have posters of girls in bikinis and sex or perverted thoughts were evil and to be avoided and I ended up being a sexual freak when my hormones kicked in.

I agree with 
*mommy22* and *LaBella * on the fact that professional help even if sought out in a book, and no not the BIBLE please, 
is not a bad idea. 
Morals are good, but be careful that the morals restrictions are balanced with an understanding and respect for "nature".
There are some of us out there that are or were in my case, early bloomers, for whatever reasons, does not make us freaks just because society frowns upon it.


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## Mattie J

Carmaenforcer,

I appreciate your honesty! I don't think you or my daughter are freaks! Curiosity at a young age is easy to satisfy with the internet, but unfortunately the things she saw I don't believe are age-appropriate. She could be an early bloomer but I just want to keep things in check and strike a healthy balance so that she doesn't get herself into more adult problems too soon. Just being a protective father, that's all. I did not demean or belittle her when I discovered this. She was obviously embarrassed and upset, but it was because I had discovered it, not because of the way I responded to it. 

Thanks again!


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## carmaenforcer

You sound like a cool parent *Mattie J*.

I agree that the internet is not the best place to receive your first examples of what sex is.
I also have a daughter (16yo) and a son (18yo) and as so far they haven't exhibited any behavior that is overtly perverse.
Anyway, I feel you on the over protectiveness with them though.

My Son has not even experience one tenth the bad stuff that I had already done at his age and my daughter is more grown up and mature than me. So thank goodness huh.

Good luck with you little girl ok.


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## swedish

Hi Mattie J,

Way back in the days before the so easily accessible internet, I was around 8-9 and stumbled upon my dad's massive porn stash (went way beyond Playboy!) 

I had a drawing toy that lit up so you could trace pictures and my older sister, my friend and I used it to trace pictures from porn magazines and make our own porn....our main reaction was 'eeeew gross...look at this'...followed by giggles...there was absolutely no sexual connection for me at that age...it did absolutely nothing for me as I was too young to even get it...it was more of a curiosity than anything.

And btw, it did not cause me to be sexually active at an early age (my ex was my first and he waited patiently for a few years...when I was an adult and ready for that)


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## Relationshipexpert

Dont be aggressive over her,Just cool down and address the matter to her.Lock the computer.


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## carmaenforcer

swedish said:


> Hi Mattie J,
> 
> Way back in the days before the so easily accessible internet, I was around 8-9 and stumbled upon my dad's massive porn stash (went way beyond Playboy!)
> 
> I had a drawing toy that lit up so you could trace pictures and my older sister, my friend and I used it to trace pictures from porn magazines and make our own porn....our main reaction was 'eeeew gross...look at this'...followed by giggles...there was absolutely no sexual connection for me at that age...it did absolutely nothing for me as I was too young to even get it...it was more of a curiosity than anything.
> 
> And btw, it did not cause me to be sexually active at an early age (my ex was my first and he waited patiently for a few years...when I was an adult and ready for that)


:iagree:

I and a few of my cousins a boy and a girl, got into their Dad's porn and it was beyond playboy too, some of it, we were also very young elementary school aged, can't remember exactly.

I think we were also just curious and didn't get anything sexual of of it at that early an age. We all got caught by their Mom, who made them prey and me sit in the living room by myself till my Mom came to pick me up. 

I was a late bloomer, not having sex till I was 17, married at 21. 
The girl cousin that was there ended up getting pregnant at 12 and the boy got someone pregnant at 17. 
The only differences in us was their Mom's making them prey, maybe religion is to blame for the demonizing, making taboo of and so peaking the interest in sexual stuff. Hmmm. :scratchhead:


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## italiana86

JDPreacher said:


> Put netnanny on your PC, talk to her about it and be done with it...it's not the end of the world.
> 
> There are worse things...so lighten up
> 
> Preacher


excuse me?????? what are you talking about??? she is 8 years old and visits porn online more than just once.

I'm so sorry to hear that! You should get help for her!! yes at school might be a good idea! Because that could mess up her mind, if it hasn't already. She is only 8. I think you have all right to be concerned!!! Is does not mean that she will get involved in Sex but in Porn and this is as bad as Sex. (at that age)

This is how many people get addicted because they were confronted to porn at an early age!


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## MBuck26

is anyone really exempt from the wiles of Satan ?? He's got his eye set on them the moment that paternity test came back postive ..He knows her by name and her likes and dislikes , what moves her and what doesnt , and trust he has big santa claus bags of tricks for this lil one along with the rest of our little loved ones , this is not as big as some would make it .people just Live everyday like stuff like this is supposed to be non-existent and then when confronted with these situations ,we are shocked?? no we should just be assured that the enemy we are fighting is not flesh and blood , and his tactics are subtle and are aimed at everyone made in Gods great image ..good luck...


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## MBuck26

I also aree with carma , Religion ,(not God) can also be a contributer to curiosity ..you hide something from a kid that they know exist and is tangible ,,it only sparks curiosity and desire..Religious people have a problem with the "do not touch ,do not taste, do not handle" doctrine, highly mistaught and understood..


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## CarolineMRF

I find this a very unusual question....My response would be to put this into the hands of your wife...She alone should be talking to your 8 year old daughter about sex.....Not her Father....


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## italiana86

CarolineMRF said:


> I find this a very unusual question....My response would be to put this into the hands of your wife...She alone should be talking to your 8 year old daughter about sex.....Not her Father....


I mean I understand where you are coming from, I would always talk to my Mom first but if she feels more comfortable to talk to her Dad , it is nothing wrong with it!!


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## Lavender

Which ever parent she is most comfortable talking too is absolutely fine & Normal ... He made it clear in his post HE is the one who discovered the concern & did the right thing in addressing it .. yes he needs to bring his wife to light in the situation and them go forward together... But to suggest Because hes the father aka a Man he shouldnt be discussing the issue of sex with his female child is Ridiculous!! 

I had an issue with my daughter years ago ( shes 20 now) But her 1st year in middle school ,I discovered some things in her notebooks.. images... words etc that caused concern & I tried to address the issue with her ...Only to recieve the shrugging of shoulders & I dont know phrase as an answer over and over, her dad on the other hand got to the heart of the matter faster for she was more comfortable discussing things with him & we learned it was peer pressure from school as a end result to fit in , 

I learned that she could talk to her dad easier for he was a listener verses my quick to panick or assume the worse attitude .. so all children have a specific parent there more comfortable discussing diffrent issues with .. Im proud to say "Im now more of a listener & my daughter as an adult chooses to come to me first" but it wasnt always that way & As long as her issues got addressed where she was comfortable is all that matters Not the gender of the parent!!


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## CarolineMRF

I was going to ignore this Topic and move on, but changed my mind....I now realize that by doing this that I am admitting that I am wrong....With this in mind I answer it...I am older...Probably old fashioned in the eyes of everyone on here, but so goes life...A couple months ago I left a big site...I, too, was a Moderator...Actually of about 7 Topics, plus a few more where when I posted my name came on as this distinction...I was good at what I did, but thought it time to move on...Let youth do their thing...As a Mod, I found one thing that I did that never changed...Each post that I answered I tried to learn the person to start...This meant that I read a lot...However, in my eyes it was the only fair thing to do ...I guess I learned this by not reading posts and profiles earlier and making mistakes...Obviously from the reception of my post above, I will not be elected anyone's friend here either...Saying this, I must say what I feel...Again please understand that I plead "older age" as my inability to think as you all do....

On this thread, I read of a man of 41 with a wife of 45....I read of a child of 8 that had been found watching Porn before on the other computer...Then I read of this same child whose parent knowing this, being given her own laptop with web access....Her Father knew that she was watching this earlier, yet this was allowed....Then when this was found out by him, he spoke with the child and with her begging him, did not tell his wife...First I believe the Mother should have been called into this immediately and I question why a child of 8 was given web access to her own laptop which cost big bucks, knowing what could happen....

I know children...We have three grandchildren...When we built our large home 7 years ago, we made an addition at the other end of the house for our grandchildren to stay over....One child was a girl...I had the house filled with dolls and everything else imaginable that she would love...The boy of 7 had his own magic land of toys...The older boy drew and played in the tool hobby room with my husband by the hour...He was not allowed on either of our two computers...Not that I worried that he would be into smut, but that it was a rule of the house...

Now I am going to leave this subject alone...However, I would be neglect in not defending myself on this...Again, take it as my fault in "old age" and will probably be followed with a ban....So goes life....


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## CarolineMRF

Please understand that I see that this was answered by a Mod and I wish to add this to my post...I consider this one of the best sites that I have ever seen...Wonderful Mods and Administrator....I fault only myself for having the feelings that I do...I only did what I did when I was on that site to be sure of what I wrote...I was older and felt that I had to do this....I am sure that I was wrong here on this post in everyone's eyes, however, in my eyes I had to do what I had to do....

Please, nothing that I have said is putting down any Mod because of what I did...I just couldn't understand why when you have a young child that is into this, that you give her a computer all her own with web access and then come to all the people and ask them what to do?...Then add not to tell the Mother....I guess I went to a different school then the rest of the world....:scratchhead:


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## amymc01

My first thought is.................

What in the WORLD is an 8 year old doing with a laptop of her own that has no parental controls to block this material. I personally think 8 is too young to have a personal computer, but that is for your family to decide, I guess. Just realize that if you are not parenting her correctly by doing everyting within your power to block content on your computer, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Kids are curious and if she is hearing it at school, she is going to try to get to it.

Honestly, I would take the laptop from her. If you just can't "bear" to do that (Heaven Forbid we not give a kid everything they want), then the new rule is - she uses the computer in your presence ONLY!

This really is a ridiculous problem to be having with an 8 year old!!!!


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## lorithehun

Mattie J said:


> I need some advice on something. I discovered that my 8-year old daughter has been visiting pornographic websites on her laptop. She has done this in the past before she had her own computer and I thought the issue had been addressed. She appears to have a strong curiousity about this at an alarmingly young age. She has an older sister who is 10 years old but has never done this, so it she isn't being influenced by her.


An 8 year old shouldn't have unsupervised access to the internet unless the computer they use has heavy restrictions. The computer my daughter uses (she's 8 years old, too) is in a central location in the house & we have "safe search" on and the internet options set to restrict all nudity. If you would like to know how to do this I can help, it's fairly simple and doesn't require any software, just minor adjustments in the computer's control panel. I'll send you directions if you'd like.

My 8 year old was introduced to sex last year in school, and I found out that most of the kids in her class knew about sex and discussed it. It really hurt me, because it felt like someone had stolen her innocence. I was also VERY unprepared.. I had no idea they were discussing things sexual so early. It's a sad commentary on our society. However, they ARE being introduced to it and our reactions as parents are going to hold a lot of weight in how they view sex later in life.. I knew if I freaked out she would be all the more curious & also might start thinking of sex as a very bad thing. You don't want that, but you also don't want her to think it's age-appropriate. Discussing condoms is not necessary because it needs to be made clear to her that sex is NOT something children should engage in. You'll need to discuss the STD's and birth control in a few years, but not now.. It is an ADULT expression of love and while you should answer questions regarding the mechanics of it you should continue to emphasis that it's an ADULT activity. I can't imagine an 8 year old being so unsupervised that they would have time to have sex, and if they are that should be rectified. So condom & STD instruction isn't necessary yet. That's too in-depth for an 8 year old.

One other thing: I asked my daughter to refrain from discussing it with her friends.. I don't want my daughter to be the one who introduces another child to it. It should be something that's discussed with parents only, and in a private setting.
And of course you should tell her mother, you need to work as a team.


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## lorithehun

amymc01 said:


> My first thought is.................
> 
> What in the WORLD is an 8 year old doing with a laptop of her own that has no parental controls to block this material. I personally think 8 is too young to have a personal computer, but that is for your family to decide, I guess. Just realize that if you are not parenting her correctly by doing everyting within your power to block content on your computer, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Kids are curious and if she is hearing it at school, she is going to try to get to it.
> 
> Honestly, I would take the laptop from her. If you just can't "bear" to do that (Heaven Forbid we not give a kid everything they want), then the new rule is - she uses the computer in your presence ONLY!
> 
> This really is a ridiculous problem to be having with an 8 year old!!!!


I agree completely... but there is still a problem because they don't just learn about it through porn... they will find out in school. It's a shame that despite everything we do to prevent early introduction to sex it's going to happen when we send our kids to school. They are going to learn about it before we feel they're ready.. I wish someone had told me to be prepared. 

When my daughter told me that all her friends knew, too, I thought I should tell the parents of her closest friends.. they had no idea, either. One mother flat-out denied that her daughter knew despite my daughter assuring me that she did.. they played barbies and barbie was having sex with Ken, so her little girl knows, but mom won't believe it.. That's a shame, that little girl is going to get all her sexual knowledge from her friends.

Oh, one other thing: I did talk to her teacher about it, I wanted to know when exactly a group of 8 year olds have time to discuss sex. She told me that she was aware some discussed it, and she had a little girl in her class who had been molested and that little girl had done some acting out (inappropriate touching, etc). We have to be so much more vigilant than our parents did.


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## lorithehun

Oh dear, I didn't check the date of this thread... hahahha, talking to myself again..:rofl:


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## Meriter

Mattie J said:


> Thanks guys, I will look into the PCNanny thing. I know it may not be a big deal now but I don't want it to turn into one later on down the road, that's all. Thanks again!


Someone else was freaking out about a 10 year old viewing porn and i told them they were over-reacting, but 8 is obviously even worse.
I certainly don't think wither should be viewing it, but it IS part of life. and you can't just blame the internet, because before the internet it was magazines and vhs tapes. 

As stated, install some software to protect her.

I noticed that kids now are way ahead of what we probably were at that age when it comes to sex. My daughter's friend said that a boy has been asking her if she would give him a bj and she is in 7th grade!


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## Princess J

Mattie J said:


> I need some advice on something. I discovered that my 8-year old daughter has been visiting pornographic websites on her laptop. She has done this in the past before she had her own computer and I thought the issue had been addressed. She appears to have a strong curiousity about this at an alarmingly young age. She has an older sister who is 10 years old but has never done this, so it she isn't being influenced by her.
> 
> She's very much afraid for my wife to find out and I had a discussion with my daughter yesterday about it and I MAY have it under control, but I'm not convinced. I don't know what she has actually seen but I'm assuming it's everything imaginable. I'm just concerend that this curiousity could lead into more mature actions later at not such a later age! I don't want my daughter growing up too fast! Morality is a big deal in my household and I grew up in a strict Christian environment. I'm just not sure how I should handle this aside from placing parental locks on her computer and just having an additional conversation with her to determine where the fascination is coming from, what she saw, and what she thinks about it. She was very embarrassed about it yesterday and got very upset, even suggesting that I take her computer away (which she loves!), so it sounds almost like it's something she can't control. How could an 8-year old girl have an addiction to porn!?!? I feel like I should share this with my wife as well, I know she won't go off the deep end about it, so that should probably be my first course of action. However, my daughter appears to be more comfortable talking to me about it than to her mother, go figure...
> 
> And by the way, our girls are not surrounded by this type of material. We do not have any pornography in the house and my wife and I are very discreet about our intimacy, so the girls' exposure to this must be coming from school. Yikes, I didn't know what most of that stuff was until 6th grade, she's in 3rd!


.

Hey Mattie J, I just experienced the same exact thing this past Sunday with my 8yr old daughter and I'm so devastated and heart broken. I feel as if my daughter's innocense has been robbed. I've done alot of crying and really don't know what to do. My husband and I have both spoken to her but I feel like it's too late for her and like this has damaged her.


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## confused2ndwife

Princess J said:


> .
> 
> Hey Mattie J, I just experienced the same exact thing this past Sunday with my 8yr old daughter and I'm so devastated and heart broken. I feel as if my daughter's innocense has been robbed. I've done alot of crying and really don't know what to do. My husband and I have both spoken to her but I feel like it's too late for her and like this has damaged her.



I know this is devastating to you and your husband but don't beat yourself up. I am now 28, I started masturbating at a very very young age (i think it was right around 7 or 8). I didn't know what the hell I was doing but it felt good and it made me fall asleep. Parents never knew about it. I later learned the term masturbating (teen years) and proceeded to feel ashamed. I tried to abstain from it but too late I was already addicted to it. I went to church, felt more self-loathing, lost self-esteem, and I felt like a big freak and a failure. Then one day, I just gave up and quit struggling and you know what I figured it is a natural urge. I had to build my self-confidence and remind myself that I am normal (or at least semi-normal). I got married when I was 27, didn't have sex until I was 27. The secret? My parents were very open about sex. They didn't really tell us the whole 9 yards of details about it. But they knew that we would be curious that we would want to try. They reminded us about responsibility and safe sex and the consequences such as illness, pregnancy and etc. 

I know you feel like 8 is too young, but if you clam up now and just say "no, it's bad!" she's gonna want to explore more and feel ashamed about herself. You don't want that. It is a painful process. Don't make her feel ashamed for wanting to explore her body. If she is very sexual, guide her.. don't give her the whole details but tell her the truth about sex and it's consequences. Also, it would be good to try and engage her in some other hobby that will take her mind away from smut. Maybe divert some frustration and energy on other things. 

I know this is really disturbing. Lots of people here seem to be horrified about it. But I just want to tell you that I was as curious and as sexually 'active' as your daughter. I swear to you if you handle this right, your daughter will be okay. But please, please, please, I beg you don't ever make her feel ashamed or treat her like she's a freak. Act normal and natural esp when talking about the subject. And try not to involve too much religion into it. I'm a Christian but sometimes religion aggravates things more than it already is.

Good luck to you. I hope you find some way to resolve this issue.

PS: I wasn't molested or anything like that.  Just wanted to throw that in before somebody decides to 'label' me as one.


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## brian464

Secretia Teller said:


> That is such a big situation. Eight years old girl addicted to pornography. What are you going to do about that? I fear she may be having sex already, with boys a little older than hear. She should go to a medical doctor and also to counseling immediately. Taking the computer away won't prevent anything, she's seen what interests her.
> 
> I'll pray for your family.
> 
> Secretia



is this user : Secretia Teller 

banned ? why ?


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## southern wife

Mattie J said:


> my *8-year old daughter *has been visiting pornographic websites on *her laptop*. She has done this in the past before *she had her own computer *


The first issue is, WHY would an 8 year old need their own computer? At that age, they don't need their own anything, except clothes. They don't need a cell phone and they don't need a computer. They should be allowed to use the "family" computer for school, a computer that has blocks on any and all adult sites. JMO. :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


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## southern wife

CarolineMRF said:


> I just couldn't understand why when you have a young child that is into this, that you give her a computer all her own with web access and then come to all the people and ask them what to do?...Then add not to tell the Mother....I guess I went to a different school then the rest of the world....:scratchhead:



:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## southern wife

lorithehun said:


> Oh dear, I didn't check the date of this thread... hahahha, talking to myself again..:rofl:



Hi, guess we're here talking to each other.  I didn't notice the date either. :scratchhead: :rofl:


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## RandomDude

If she has been looking up porn then rest assured she's seen it all by now. Personally though I would think it's too late to attempt to restrict internet access, considering I still remember in my generation porn was already making a big impact as the internet was still new and if you type in a wrong word -> you end up with a porn site!

If she is curious, find out what she's curious about, and unfortunately, you may have to give out select information to satisfy that curiousity. She's not reached puberty yet so I am sure it's based on what her friends at school have been telling her about fueling that curiouscity. She's just absorbing information.


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## Jamison

She doesn't need a computer, she is 8 years old. 

Where in the world would she have gotten the idea to look at porn? Is it anywhere else in the house? A family member has it maybe? 

If she has her own laptop right off the bat it should have been put under parental controls and or with filters, and thats for all 8 year olds or kids who are on a computer.

Ha thats what I get for not checking the date of this thread, but anyway..something was up with a 8 year old and porn, sorry it was more than likely learned.


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## that_girl

I would take the laptop away unless I could supervise.

I don't know why people think children have these rights. Maybe I'm just a mean mom. 

I hate to say it, but maybe she's been abused  My sisters and I were all abused and while I became a prude (until my 20s), they became very much engrossed in sexual behavior.


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## that_girl

Meriter said:


> Someone else was freaking out about a 10 year old viewing porn and i told them they were over-reacting, but 8 is obviously even worse.
> I certainly don't think wither should be viewing it, but it IS part of life. and you can't just blame the internet, because before the internet it was magazines and vhs tapes.
> 
> As stated, install some software to protect her.
> 
> I noticed that kids now are way ahead of what we probably were at that age when it comes to sex. My daughter's friend said that a boy has been asking her if she would give him a bj and she is in 7th grade!


Most porn is NOT real life. It is unnatural and fake and positions that could never give a woman an orgasm. 

For children to see these images and think it's how sex should be is damaging. Sex is part of life, yes. But not porn. Porn serves its audience which is mostly men. It builds on men's fantasies and many times takes the power away from the woman while only showing body parts to insinuate she is not a whole person.

I teach 5th grade and have heard of what some children have done. It's unreal. Then I find out what their parents let them watch, listen to, etc and it makes sense that they'd want to try it too. My 12 year old is educated in sex, emotions that come with it, slang, anything she wants to know (and she asks questions) but she is age appropriate with her music, movies, etc. She has plenty of time to grow up. Yes, she's curious, but by educating her she doesn't feel like she has to go explore (right now).

Sorry for the soap box...it's just a sensitive topic for me. I have held too many babies of previous students.


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## CLucas976

I realize this is old, but really its not a bad topic.

When I was young, like 2nd grade, My mom was vigilant in keeping our childhood innocent. However, everyone in my second grade class already knew about sex, and it was a common discussion.

Everything in the media relates to sex. Kids are going to pick it up. It just dawned on me now reading through this that my main interest or understanding of it at my young age was sparked from my babysitter's soap operas. my kindergarten best friend and I had our barbies doing all sorts of dirty things we'd tee hee about. Was she a bad babysitter? maybe, maybe not. 

What I do know, is that it is important to not over-react. a persons sexuality is very personal to them, and anything at a young age can damage it. I was around 7 or 8 and being scolded for doing things I didn't even understand. Normal self exploration.

yes, I didn't turn into a teenage prostitute, or have a kid while in school, or even strive to have a boyfriend until I was 17. But the taboo of it, the "its wrong," morality, and every other misinformation I was given made me terrified of it, and still looms over me.

The only good discussion I remember was the "birds and the bees" talk. So I think while it would be important to nix the ability to access these things, it is also important to keep in mind the type of damage that can be done with an over-reaction and/or punishment. Remember being a kid, discovering that part of you, and then decide how you'd have best been receptive to your parents, and go from there. you don't want to encourage, but please don't forbid and scold.


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## ManDup

amymc01 said:


> My first thought is.................
> 
> What in the WORLD is an 8 year old doing with a laptop of her own that has no parental controls to block this material. I personally think 8 is too young to have a personal computer, but that is for your family to decide, I guess. Just realize that if you are not parenting her correctly by doing everyting within your power to block content on your computer, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Kids are curious and if she is hearing it at school, she is going to try to get to it.
> 
> Honestly, I would take the laptop from her. If you just can't "bear" to do that (Heaven Forbid we not give a kid everything they want), then the new rule is - she uses the computer in your presence ONLY!
> 
> This really is a ridiculous problem to be having with an 8 year old!!!!


:iagree:
She has proven already more than once that it's a bad idea. I don't see the issue here. My kids were never allowed a computer in their own rooms. It was in the kitchen, and I locked it from the internet after midnight.


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## Ikantfli

:scratchhead: Why is everyone getting so worked up over this!? I was 8 when i started watching and I'm sick of everyone on almost every forum with this topic (surprisingly very little on this one)saying she's/he's [email protected]!%ed up in the head and that she needs counseling and saying that they've probably already had sex! I especially hate it when some jesus freak starts throwing the Bible in her/his face! If you've noticed from the posts of people that have actually been in the same or similar situation, they know that unless it's forced upon you(rape or porn pushed onto the person) It's not a traumatizing experience or something that will leave a mental scar. They just discovered these things on their own a little earlier than "normal". From what your saying, your daughter and I were very alike at that age. When discovered and confronted I said the same thing, to take away the computer (which I went on every day) because I was was overwhelmed with embarrassment and just wanted to take the punishment, end the conversation, and leave the room.I'm glad you've taken the time to sit down and have talks with her, but that won't help. She'll be creative and clever and find ways to get around things like I did. That's because...(  I'll have to agree with the people who seem to hate your daughter because she watches porn) Porn is addictive. Scratch that. Masterbating is addictive. This doesn't mean to send her to counseling!!!! This will only make her feel ashamed and that she's a freak. Just make sure she that knows two things:

1. It's not ok to have sex at her age.

2. You do not need porn to masterbate.

I know you probably want her to not watch porn and masterbate, but thats not easy on the girl/boy. So compromise. Masterbation is completely natural and a good outlet for sexual desires, so the hormones don't make her do any thing rash, like have sex yet. These sexual feelings are very strong and will last a few years until the libido starts slowing down and hormones level out. Just don't let things get out of control, ok? Don't become too lenient. Everything should be fine.

Hope this helps!,
sincerely,
Nick


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## RFEF2

I'm curious. This question is two years old. How have things progressed since then? I ask because my own 8-year-old daughter was looking at porn on youtube.


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## Phoque

I personally think the embarrassment of being caught in punishment enough. I _highly_ doubt she'll watch it again after this.


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## bs193

RFEF2 said:


> I'm curious. This question is two years old. How have things progressed since then? I ask because my own 8-year-old daughter was looking at porn on youtube.


Not going to bother addressing the original post of this thread since it is two years old but will address your question.

Youtube may have inappropriate content at times but it does not show porn. That said, an 8 year old should not be using a computer unsupervised. I am surprised how many people now a days buy things like computers and cell phones for kids this young and think they can handle them responsibly. SHE IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD! Get a desktop, put it in the living room or someplace not private, and only let her use it when you are in the room. Technology is advancing.....that doesn't mean children are advancing with it. Yes, we can teach them to use these devices, but not "teach" them the maturity needed to handle how they use it.

If your daughter is looking at porn at this age, she needs to be speaking to a counselor, and the computer privileges need to end. Exposing a child to such material can have lasting and devastating effects on their development. Don't blow it off now because it will be much harder to deal with when she is 12 years old and coming home with the neighborhood boy's allowances (they didn't pay her for cleaning their room).


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## ulous

Phoque said:


> I personally think the embarrassment of being caught in punishment enough. I _highly_ doubt she'll watch it again after this.


It is NOT enough. I have first hand experience in that department. Embarrassment cannot break a struggle within the child's mind. She needs to know what you think of it. Call it dirty, but also, redouble your efforts to touch her hands, hug her, or put your arm around her at a movie. This is serious stuff. Children need to be given a framework to process this information. If they see you avoid it, they WILL NOT come to you when/if they develop a sexual addiction or underage sexual behaviour. You are also setting your child up for confusing cycles of guilt and pleasure, and by the way, you are hurting the way she sees romantic relationships. See how many people viewed this thread and how alive it is after 2 years, take that as a cue of how your own reaction should be: it is an outrage and treat it as such, but gently.


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## emmar2012

My daughter was like that. She watched porn and I found out her texting app kik was why. She was introduced to porn way to early I took her kik and laptop away and talked to her. Now she doesn't use her computer unless she's in the kitchen or living room where I can see her.


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