# Who's supposed to cut the grass?



## maxter (May 24, 2011)

One of many stupid questions rushing through my brain. If I move out during the D process and she's living in the marital home, who's responsible for maintenance and upkeep on the property? From one perspective- she's living there, I'm paying most or all of the mortgage so she should cut the grass and shovel the snow. Besides, I now have my own place to maintain. But on the other hand, it's still our marital home with both names on the title and it hasn't been divided between us yet. 

It could get really ugly if I either can't keep up with two households or decide not to and she refuses to step up. The town we live in can fine us for tall grass or unkempt conditions. Then they hire a contractor to do it for you. Then they put a lien on your house if you don't pay the fines & costs.

Any suggestions?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I cut the grass here. lol. It's not hard.

I keep up the yard, although he has been doing that more lately. He cleaned our orchard the other day.


----------



## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

What's your custody situation? I get my kids on the weekends and they stay in the home. My stbxw and I rotate staying in the house. I cut the yard on the weekend.

I guess you have 3 options. I'll list them in the order it sounds like would work in your situation since you have your own place.

1. She cuts the yard. She may not like that and may not do it.

2. You cut the yard. It sucks, but everything sucks in this situation.

3. Hire someone to cut the yard. You can probably find a local kid to do it pretty cheap. That would be much better than fines, etc. Besides, the "contractor" they choose probably has a pretty sweet deal worked out with them. Twice the price and split some with the homeowner's association for the privilege of the referral?


----------



## maxter (May 24, 2011)

I spoke with my attorney. He said we should work it out. Yeah right! She's always left the outside stuff for me even though I help with 50% or often more of 'her' inside stuff.

He said she 'should' do it because she's living there. But since we both still have a vested interest in the property and it's value come time of settlement, I may 'have' to do it or risk affecting the property value or worse case a lien against it. He said I could also 'trade' the value of my efforts for something else from her as yet to be identified.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

LOL. I had to laugh because my husband never even worried with the yard! He had a sweet deal for so many years--my father kept up our large yard until four years ago. Since that time I do all the mowing, pruning, and other maintenance. I also now take care of my mother's yard. I absolutely enjoy it!

If you own the equipment, I see no reason why your wife can't do the work. However, if you plan to sell the house and split the money, you may consider splitting the cost of the lawn care. Perhaps a neighbor (who enjoys yard work) would be willing to do the work as a cheaper (with pay) alternative.


----------



## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

twindad said:


> One of many stupid questions rushing through my brain. If I move out during the D process and she's living in the marital home, who's responsible for maintenance and upkeep on the property? From one perspective- she's living there, I'm paying most or all of the mortgage so she should cut the grass and shovel the snow. Besides, I now have my own place to maintain. But on the other hand, it's still our marital home with both names on the title and it hasn't been divided between us yet.
> 
> It could get really ugly if I either can't keep up with two households or decide not to and she refuses to step up. The town we live in can fine us for tall grass or unkempt conditions. Then they hire a contractor to do it for you. Then they put a lien on your house if you don't pay the fines & costs.
> 
> Any suggestions?


Yeah, it's the same way with the HOA where we live. Solution - get her a$$ out of the house, you move in, then you don't have to worry about maintenance. Or, move back and live together until you sell it.

Or, get your lawyer to complete a separation agreement ASAP where it states that however lives in the house - maintains the house.

I dunno. It all sucks!


----------



## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

She lives there, she cuts the grass.

I mean she doesn't come to your place and tidy up right?


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Lol. Atholk, my estranged wife did. Not sure why.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

I still live in the house and there is absolutely no way I can start the lawnmower, let alone push it. My allergies are incapacitating this summer. When you drive by or drive up, it looks like the home of an unloved man and that's exactly what it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## maxter (May 24, 2011)

HurtinginTN said:


> What's your custody situation? I get my kids on the weekends and they stay in the home. My stbxw and I rotate staying in the house. I cut the yard on the weekend.


Hey, that thought has crossed my mind more than once. Get an apartment and the W and I swap out of it- the kids stay in the house all the time. How does that work for you? What kind of agreement do you have about dating? My concern is what's she doing in the Apt and with whom while I'm not there? And then I have to come back a few days later and live in there. Yuck!


----------



## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

twindad said:


> Hey, that thought has crossed my mind more than once. Get an apartment and the W and I swap out of it- the kids stay in the house all the time. How does that work for you? What kind of agreement do you have about dating? My concern is what's she doing in the Apt and with whom while I'm not there? And then I have to come back a few days later and live in there. Yuck!



Well, I like it for the kids. They have the consistency of their own bed, the pets, games, friends, etc. Currently, we stay in separate places on our off nights. I stay with my parents and she stays at her sister's. What we do on our off nights is totally up to us. However, no member of the opposite sex (except family) is to ever step foot in our house or to be around our children until the divorce is final. I say 6 months after the divorce is final, but I don't know if I can make that stand.

She still does my laundry. I still do the yard work, etc. The transitions were tough at first, since the kids would cry when she left. I usually leave before they wake up in the morning when I leave. Now, they are fine when she leaves. 

It does suck, but there is no way around that in a separation/divorce. I just think keeping the kids there for now is better than moving them back and forth between two separate places.

Of course, we will be selling the house and going to two more permanent residences at some point in the future. But for now, this is working.

Our schedule is that she gets the house and kids on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights. I get the house and kids on the other nights.


----------

