# should this be ok?



## kenken (Jun 21, 2011)

Yesterday,again my husband left his messenger on and i admit i spyed on his emails and voila,there was a recent email from an ex girlfriend we fought about last year.

Last year,we went to Italy to visit a "friend" which turned out to be an ex gf,we stayed in the town for 3 days,we even went to the ex gf's 8th birthday celebration. At first my husband didnt tell me that the woman was his ex gf,until i exploded,i dont know but its a woman's instinct,he admitted it. As far as my spying on my husband's email i found out that the woman was so insisting to communicate,because after the fight last year, i have asked my husband if he could stop communicating with that biatch,although my husband was kind of hesitant at first.our relationship became better after that. Cum yesterday,the email of the ex gf in my understanding is that,my husband told her that i am jealouse of her and that he has troubles with the family because of her,and those were my husbands reason why he seldom sends her emails and so on. the ex reply was "shes thankful that my husband told her what she meant to his life and that our daugther and my husband are always with her". today i am outraged, first because my question is Why does my husband have to tell that biatch that im jealouse of her?and yeah thats out of my pride,i mean can he not just reply back to her emails?instead of telling her ,2nd What is the point of telling her?...cause i feel that makes her feel good and i dont want her to feel that way,btw,that ex gf cheated my husband with his bestfriend that is why my husband left her.how about you guys,would it be ok that my husband told that biatch that im jealouse of her?or was i just creating drama with all of this stories. my husband and i are at the verge of divorcing just because of his silly story,i am soo mad at him and i feel that he lied to me.btw, yesterday i asked him how sure was he that he doesnt disclose the family problems to anyone and he answered 99.9%,which is a lie.
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## kenken (Jun 21, 2011)

*ex gf's SON 8th bday celebration
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## MoreOfaMan (Jul 25, 2012)

Calm down.
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## MoreOfaMan (Jul 25, 2012)

It doesn't look like he's cheated but can you reword the bit about her reply, It doesn't make much sense. Your husband is very close to it though, how you handle this will determine the rest of your lives. I like to look at exs, see how they are doing, shouldn't of taken you guys to visit though bit weird, is the child his? Get to marriage counsilling immediately, or tell him to walk. If you go off the rails, he'll go further away. If you let it go, he'll think it's ok, stand firm, ask, don't tell, for a proper explanation. Your call.
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## cpacan (Jan 2, 2012)

The remark about jealousy, well I have had that one too.

I think it's a way of delivering the message, so that he doesn't have to admit to his ex that their talk could be inappropriate and that he himself may see it for more than it is - that would make him look foolish. It's to avoid that.

But I got hurt too by my wife's "Hey, don't text me again, I've got a jealous husband."

It's disrespectfull and not owning up to your responsibilty.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> "shes thankful that my husband told her what she meant to his life and that *our daugther* and my husband are always with her"


Your daughter is always with her too? Oh yeah, she is paving the road. And in a smart way too. Because usually guys refuse to leave the family because of the kids she is just saying "bring your daughter with you and i'll be a mommy for her".

About your husband saying he is braking communication because you're jealous, i know that bugged you because you feel that he just revealed a weakness of yours to your rival, but you really shouldn't feel like that. This is healthy sure thing righteous jealousy. 

You're justified in everything you have done. And it seems your husband isn't, at this moment, cheating on you. But his actions are off bounds. You should never have gone to Italy or to that son's birthday party. 

I even find that a bit weird. Do you know who the kid's father is?


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## kenken (Jun 21, 2011)

the son of ex gf was from her previous marriage,she was a divorcee when she and my husband met,then she cheated on my DH that is why he left her.

updatebtw,dh and i are different nationalities) my husband translated to me the meaning of other emails from the ex and it says there that she still longs for my dh and that when she found out from my husband that we are having problems she was happy,she even said that she is ready to have another baby...how crazy is that?now im thinking to write to that ex gf to stay away of my family but i am having second thoughts it might not be a really good idea as i dont really see her a real threat to my marriage as my husband told me that she was just someone in the past that he wants to just look at as a friend although that that girl is giving it a different meaning.
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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Okay this is called an EA to say the least. You are perfectly within your marital rights to call for him to stop communicating with this woman. Given the amount of time give him an ultimatum. (be prepared to follow through. If you don't you will lose all credibility.) You type up a nc letter to be sent to the OW. You have your H send it in front of you. If he is unwilling to cut all communications kick him out. If he won't then go get you child and leave.-


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## kenken (Jun 21, 2011)

badbane said:


> Okay this is called an EA to say the least. You are perfectly within your marital rights to call for him to stop communicating with this woman. Given the amount of time give him an ultimatum. (be prepared to follow through. If you don't you will lose all credibility.) You type up a nc letter to be sent to the OW. You have your H send it in front of you. If he is unwilling to cut all communications kick him out. If he won't then go get you child and leave.-


my husband told me that he stopped communicating with the ex,which ive seen,ive seen his some sent emails to the girl as "thats good,take care of ur self nd your son" nd just that.somethign like an advice from my husband but then the girl would reply eveyrthinga bout whats going on with her life and that she isnt happy and that my husband is incomparable to anybody she met" my only thinking now was that what if i email her about my husbands idea of her crazy emailing, i mean my husband left her last 2008 and she is still inlove with my husband its geez its 2012 now you must be kiddin me!  she really got me in my nerves!
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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

kenken said:


> my husband told me that he stopped communicating with the ex,which ive seen,ive seen his some sent emails to the girl as "thats good,take care of ur self nd your son" nd just that.somethign like an advice from my husband but then the girl would reply eveyrthinga bout whats going on with her life and that she isnt happy and that my husband is incomparable to anybody she met" my only thinking now was that what if i email her about my husbands idea of her crazy emailing, i mean my husband left her last 2008 and she is still inlove with my husband its geez its 2012 now you must be kiddin me!  she really got me in my nerves!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's not NC I mean she needs to be cut out. If he is still communicating then this could just be the messages they feel comfortable letting you see. 
They could be communicating is ways you don't know about. EMail, private FB messages, skype, im on the phone which are hard to track. This needs to end and you need to lay down the law. Example of a NC letter

HI X

At this point in time I think it would be prudent if we no longer communicate. Our history together has the potential to cause serious issues in my marriage. For the sake of my marriage I it would be best if this was our last communication. Please do not respond to this message. 
Thank you for your understanding.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> that when she found out from my husband that we are having problems she was happy,she even said that she is ready to have another baby...


Damn... That's like the most brazen offer of reproduction i've seen without using sex related words. This woman has imagination and knows how to play men's strings. 

Get her to back the hell off any way you can.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Look, Just tell your husband continued contact OF ANY KIND with this woman is unacceptable. Period. Ex's don't belong in a marriage unless contact is necessary for child rearing issues. This should be one of your boundaries.
End of story


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## MauriceBoh (Jul 30, 2012)

It doesn't make much sense


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