# Female mid life crisis



## Hiking (Nov 6, 2013)

Has any women here had a MLC? When did it start and How long did it last? Did you later regret your actions during it? Did anyone's marriage survive it?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

midlifecrisisforum.com

Awesome site. More info than you ever wanted to know and some nice, helpful people. Alot of people are the LBS there who've been hurt, but there are MLCer's of both sexes.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Hiking said:


> Has any women here had a MLC? When did it start and How long did it last? Did you later regret your actions during it? Did anyone's marriage survive it?


I felt like I had a mid life crisis at age 42....I say this because I wanted to go back in time something fierce, would get very emotional about it at times...... didn't like the idea of getting older.. wanted to RE-live what I felt we missed...but in my case, *it was the best thing to ever happen to our marriage.*. ..I didn't look outward to find ME separate from my husband (we've always been very close, attached, always loved being married)....*I looked to US*....focused on us... and upsurged the passion..

This wasn't long after we had our last son...then that year sent our oldest off to College.....realizing "...where did all the years GO, they flew so fast !".... I had some kind of hormonal increase that shot to the heavens...and Oh My... did I want to have some FUN....I realized suddenly - like a strike of lightning after making a "movie maker Video" of just him & I...with a mushy love song.....

..We were too busy playing Parents... we were neglecting *US*....I planned a # of Romantic (can I say HOT) vacations, getting off alone... we went to Rock concerts, got a little wild in the bedroom -at my lead...we used to be so vanilla ...what in the world was wrong with us, I was asking myself.. .so much to explore [email protected]# 

He was enjoying that, holding on for the ride...though he couldn't keep up, I caused him some performance pressure...we struggled in a few areas, I questioned his desire, would fight/ make up....(I was feeling I missed his best years, even blamed him for this to some degree.. truth is...we were both at fault but in very different ways)....

But through this ....It's like I found my husband all over again... what I once took for granted, this was NO MORE ..or will ever be...our 40's have been the most exhilarating...

Not all mid life crisis's have to tumble a marriage...though I do feel..had my husband pushed me away, refused to talk... engage me in my lusts...indulge me/ flirting / teasing......told me we were too old to be acting like that, running off to Rock concerts...we rented porn, went to a strip club for a time... we had a BALL.....had he pushed me away... I do believe it could have destructed us ...causing a rift in our marriage...

I felt very strongly in what I needed....it was "powerful" somehow.... thankfully he was onboard...very loving/ giving...all he could to satisfy me..(God bless a little viagra !)... I went a little crazy ...it was all sexual ...and I kept it at home... a "cougar" for my husband.


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## Hiking (Nov 6, 2013)

That is awesome...will you marry me? LOL. I hope my wife is not letting that passion out to anyone else but who knows. Being patient sucks. I have a lot to offer and waiting for her is worth it for now but this MLC thing is insane and frankly seems like a bunch of bs.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Hiking said:


> That is awesome...will you marry me? LOL. *I hope my wife is not letting that passion out to anyone else but who knows. Being patient sucks. I have a lot to offer and waiting for her is worth it for now but this MLC thing is insane and frankly seems like a bunch of bs*.


Well you haven't offered much here..what is she doing...how is she acting? 

I wouldn't call it a bunch of BS... another thing I didn't mention in my post and have found this to be true with other women.. ... our hormones go a little haywire in our 40's...we get a surge in Testosterone...this can escalate PMS symptoms (our poor husbands)....I never had any of that until midlife..or noticed..... but I could literally feel the "cloud' coming over me during those days leading up to my monthly... I would cry easier, be more irritable....I kept a sex calendar for 2 yrs....and recorded things in there... and looking over it... there was a pattern to my behavior too often to miss... Had a friend, hers got so bad she had to be put on meds.. 

I bought a couple books on Mid Life Crisis....at the time... one had a variety of things women may JUMP into suddenly....some of the more common...

*1*. wanting to go back to school/ college 
*2*. Taking up Gardening...
*3*. Finding Religion/ spirituality.....
*4*. Getting into Politics /making a difference... 
*5*. Become a health / exercise guru ...
*6*. Adrendline junky.....climbing mountains, bungee jumping, jumping out of an airplane, we only live once! 
*7*. and it had a chapter devoted to one discovering their sexuality/ going a little wild (and yeah, need to watch that one if the wife has drifted away from the husband!- YIKES!)....I bought it for that chapter of course.. 

You sound as though....you "HOPE she is not letting the passion out to someone else"...and are "being patient"...sounds the communication has taken a DIVE then, you are not sure what is up with her..

It was never like this with me.. I was very forthcoming to all I was feeling...wearing the heart on the sleeve.. (I've always been this way though)....but true to his character, he has always made this so very easy for me... this surely played a part in our dynamics...


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## Hiking (Nov 6, 2013)

I got the I don't love you and haven't for a long time talk a few months ago. Separated 4 months, 3 kids. My wife is 37 and always has been impulsive. When she is into something she is all in and when she's out she is all out. Constantly trying to fill a void in her life from a bumpy childhood I believe. The weird part is she always seemed to love me but the sex was bad for about a year. But she always said she was a momma bear but even the kids seem to be an after thought
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Hiking said:


> I got the I don't love you and haven't for a long time talk a few months ago. Separated 4 months, 3 kids. My wife is 37 and always has been impulsive. When she is into something she is all in and when she's out she is all out. Constantly trying to fill a void in her life from a bumpy childhood I believe. The weird part is she always seemed to love me but the sex was bad for about a year. But she always said she was a momma bear but even the kids seem to be an after thought


Is there another man in this picture ?? When the sex goes bad, so often other root issues were at play to lead there...sex is just a symptom....(Unresolved resentments...love languages missed....a growing apathy , etc)...
How important, when the laughter stops in the home, the smiles, the







's ...to FIGHT for getting back to this place....once again talking to each other , seeking how the other feels, trying to look outside of our lenses to their point of view... ....this is what was needed.....Otherwise one could be silently drowning right beside us. 



> A is for Apathy: What Happens when You Don't Care Anymore?
> 
> Apathy, unconcern, indifference, lack of interest, lack of emotion. It's what creeps into the marriage when one or both spouses aren't watchful.
> 
> ...


 I did a thread on How resentment can hurt our sex lives....

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-ma...l-etc-how-robs-us-intimacy-we-crave-most.html

What do you think Hiking? The main thing is ongoing communication, without this... nothing can be resolved.. are you & she communicating during this time?


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## Zanne (Dec 7, 2012)

Hiking said:


> Has any women here had a MLC? When did it start and How long did it last? Did you later regret your actions during it? Did anyone's marriage survive it?


I will admit to having a tough time in my forties. I am 46 now. My outlook on life changed about five years ago. Some days I think that I feel more settled, other days not so much. And SA is right, the hormones are all over the place.

I do regret many of the choices I have made in the last five years, however, I've also grown on a personal level, although I still need some work in that area. LOL 

I can't say if I had a MLC, but it's hard to ignore some of the signs. There are a few from SA's list... I've always loved gardening, so that doesn't count, but I did go back to college, I became more spiritual, I implemented a healthier lifestyle and I eat differently now, I started running and entered a few 5K's. As a result, I take good care of myself and I also started doing yoga. I am healthier now than I was in my twenties. All good stuff, very empowering. 

It hasn't been all good though. I few years ago, I bought an expensive new car, I quit my job, I got my first tattoo, I dressed differently with the goal of showing off my new body, I started drinking heavily and on a daily basis, my sex drive went wild and I flirted with anyone of legal age regardless of sex (or if they were married), became depressed and suicidal, and lost control of my life.

I guess that sums it up! Oh, and my marriage did NOT survive.


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## Hiking (Nov 6, 2013)

I am trying to do the 180, so I a communicating as little as possible. She displays all the mlc symptoms I have read about. She has many unresolved issues from her childhood plus 9 years ago she had an affair that niter truly dealt with we more or less got to a place where we thought we where passed it


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## lovelifeandwanttoenjoyit (Sep 14, 2013)

All I can say after reading this thread, is that I'm REALLY looking forward to this phase :lol:.................. My wife is turning 40 next year!!!!!! and if you read my post on Men's section you can see why!

Any advise on how to handle this?


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## Early Grayce (Jan 19, 2012)

Ok, so I had the mid life crisis from hell. 

Around 40 years old, I made a decision to change careers. So I quit my job, sold the house, cashed out the 401k, borrowed $100k and moved to Orlando Florida and attended airline pilot school for three years. I sold my Corvette, moved to Myrtle Beach, SC and towed banners (aerial advertising), ferried planes all over the US, flew cargo on the back side of the clock, located underground utilities and became a CNC machinist. We moved to Greenville, SC and I became a courrier for a large tire manufacturer, a industrial maintenance technician for the same company, flew some more cargo, worked as a CNC machinist and about four months ago we moved back to Nashville and I got the job back that I left 12 years ago when my mid life crisis began.

Sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself.


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## lovelifeandwanttoenjoyit (Sep 14, 2013)

lovelifeandwanttoenjoyit said:


> All I can say after reading this thread, is that I'm REALLY looking forward to this phase :lol:.................. My wife is turning 40 next year!!!!!! and if you read my post on Men's section you can see why!
> 
> Any advise on how to handle this?


Really!! nothing??


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Hiking said:


> I got the I don't love you and haven't for a long time talk a few months ago. Separated 4 months, 3 kids.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You WISH this was a mid-life crisis. Then you'd have a small chance of getting her back when it crashed and burned. Now, she's just gone.

She's gone dude. She's not coming back.

Walk-away-wife, not mid-life crisis.


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