# Rough sex - any tips?



## Rikolas (Jul 16, 2013)

Hi guys,

So I did a search and found a few old threads from a couple of years ago - but thought I'd raise a new one as there must be new ideas / new members since then with some tips!

Basically, my wife says she likes and always wants sex to be rough. This is completely alien to me, I'm more of a romantic sensitive nice guy, and that's great for her but in the bedroom she says she wants me to be a complete arse to her. So I've given it a go so far, but after some tips:

So far what I have tried: Throwing her down, pinning her against the wall. Restraining her hands/arms by the wrists. Aggressively tearing off her clothes. Biting. She loves doggy style, it's her favourite, so when in this position I pound her hard, slap her ass (doesn't do anything for me - don't think it does for her either) I pull her hair by grabbing it at the roots - she LOVES this the most. We've tried anal a couple of times, bought a couple of vibrators and rings that we've used, and that's it really so far.

We spend a lot of time apart so when we do sext/send naked photos, I play the dominating role and tell her what she can and can't do, when she can cum etc. I'm thinking of moving that into the bedroom too. We've done roleplay over the phone but not in person. I've bought some wrist/ankle restraints that I'm going to use on her so going to try that next.

Basically any more ideas/tips? I'm quite shy so initiating all of this has become really difficult for me, and getting used to being an 'arse' as she calls it and not being mr nice guy in the bedroom is hard work!

I've suggested choking but she's not up for it - and neither am I which is good! We communicate openly about all this, but she wants me to come up with the ideas and I'm after some inspiration! thanks. 

Thanks.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I've got a Taser, some 10% pepper spray, a really nice riot baton, and all sorts of restraints. Let me know if you need to borrow anything but I need them back before I go to work.


----------



## Carlchurchill (Jan 23, 2013)

Light some aromatic candles and play soft music, then strap her to the bed and give her oral and work her G to about 95% of her having an O. Then stop, get up and take a candle and proceed to pour it all over her breasts. Ignore the screams of pain/pleasure and jerk off to completion over her. Then leave the room...doesn't get more badass than that!


----------



## Rikolas (Jul 16, 2013)

Carlchurchill said:


> Light some aromatic candles and play soft music, then strap her to the bed and give her oral and work her G to about 95% of her having an O. Then stop, get up and take a candle and proceed to pour it all over her breasts. Ignore the screams of pain/pleasure and jerk off to completion over her. Then leave the room...doesn't get more badass than that!


I like the idea of getting her 95% there and then stopping. I do tease her quite a lot like this. I'm not sure about the wax bit though!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JustAnotherMan (Jun 27, 2012)

Honestly, a hand on her throat gets quite the response from my wife when she wants to be roughed up a bit.

No, i don't choke her, but the hand there gets her going


----------



## Rikolas (Jul 16, 2013)

JustAnotherMan said:


> Honestly, a hand on her throat gets quite the response from my wife when she wants to be roughed up a bit.
> 
> No, i don't choke her, but the hand there gets her going


This is a good idea actually. I think I can see how this has the feeling of not being in control and treated rough. Without actually choking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

The point is that in that position you COULD choke her. Her life is in your hands, she's at your mercy. When a man just takes what he wants, it makes some women feel very desired.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I have a few suggestions on this blog post:

I Married a Sex God: 16. Submission…or Throwdown?


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I have a few suggestions on this blog post:
> 
> I Married a Sex God: 16. Submission…or Throwdown?


Throwdown is awesome :smthumbup:


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

Many years ago, while having access to a pair of handcuffs, baton and a police cruiser parked in my garage,...... well you get the idea.

One of me and my wife's best fantasies ever experienced.

Never underestimate the setting and location for your domination play.


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Rikolas said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> So I did a search and found a few old threads from a couple of years ago - but thought I'd raise a new one as there must be new ideas / new members since then with some tips!
> 
> ...


She is probably into the verbal stuff so dominate her completely in this way. Tell her to shut up, put it in her mouth, make her gag then take it out and smack her with it. Bend her over and ..... when she is close to orgasm grab her hair and make her put it back in her mouth. She will be so turned on she will start to pant like a dog. Have fun!!


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow...do you really have to word it in such a way that it grosses out every woman who reads this thread? I mean, seriously, ew. Maybe have some sensitivity to the readers here who aren't in the throes of passion at this very moment and more able to handle such a graphic description of something that to many would be horrendous?


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Wow...do you really have to word it in such a way that it grosses out every woman who reads this thread? I mean, seriously, ew. Maybe have some sensitivity to the readers here who aren't in the throes of passion at this very moment and more able to handle such a graphic description of something that to many would be horrendous?


obviously this thread is not for you. Read his question. He wanted examples and ideas. Kind of hard, given the nature of the thread to not be graphic. Since she likes it rough, and he needs ideas. He is getting ideas that are too much for some to read.
Not trying to upset anyone, just answering the question posed.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There are ways of saying the same things while still keeping it classy. I'm a bigger perv than most people here, but I don't want to read that type of "description" here on these threads where we are supposed to really just be helping each other. You don't have to be gross about it, and you were, IMO. You can try to flip it back on me, but I'm very solidly a sex freak so that isn't the problem, ok?

It isn't hard to discuss these things without being disrespectful and too graphic. Word choice is important.


----------



## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Ok I could handle nogutsnoglory but carlchurchill exactly how is that suposed to be fulfilling to her? That was just mean...not prolonging ...not tempting ..... not excruciating withholding for others pleasure...or waiting till the last possible minute to show interest ....that was abandonement...mean... :-( not enjoyable!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## love_sick35 (Jul 16, 2013)

Has anyone told you that you are one lucky


----------



## love_sick35 (Jul 16, 2013)

Has anyone told you that you are one lucky son of a gun!!!


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> There are ways of saying the same things while still keeping it classy. I'm a bigger perv than most people here, but I don't want to read that type of "description" here on these threads where we are supposed to really just be helping each other. You don't have to be gross about it, and you were, IMO. You can try to flip it back on me, but I'm very solidly a sex freak so that isn't the problem, ok?
> 
> It isn't hard to discuss these things without being disrespectful and too graphic. Word choice is important.


"solidly a sex freak"... LOL.


----------



## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

Talk to her to understand why she likes it rough. What is going through her head during it? Is she extending the fantasy in her head in some way? Understanding this will help guide you in the right direction and help you to avoid missteps. 

Don't underestimate the power of talking during this kind of play. For example, 'force' her to admit taboo things like how much she'd love to have 2 or more guys or how she liked having sex with other guys before you.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

couple said:


> Talk to her to understand why she likes it rough. What is going through her head during it? Is she extending the fantasy in her head in some way? Understanding this will help guide you in the right direction and help you to avoid missteps.
> 
> Don't underestimate the power of talking during this kind of play. For example, *'force' her to admit taboo things like how much she'd love to have 2 or more guys or how she liked having sex with other guys before you*.


Ummm...


----------



## mrbambino (Jun 18, 2013)

Carlchurchill said:


> Light some aromatic candles and play soft music, then strap her to the bed and give her oral and work her G to about 95% of her having an O. Then stop, get up and take a candle and proceed to pour it all over her breasts. Ignore the screams of pain/pleasure and jerk off to completion over her. Then leave the room...doesn't get more badass than that!


haha that's intense,pretty good idea


----------



## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Carlchurchill said:


> Light some aromatic candles and play soft music, then strap her to the bed and give her oral and work her G to about 95% of her having an O. Then stop, get up and take a candle and proceed to pour it all over her breasts. Ignore the screams of pain/pleasure and jerk off to completion over her. Then leave the room...doesn't get more badass than that!


Ha, I was just telling my H that it's been a long time (too long) since he's poured the melted wax on me. One of my rough sex faves so sure. Your scenario is a pretty damn good one, but not sure my H would go quite that far on his own. Time for some coaching . . . 

OP, I love for my H to be pretty rough and dominating, but he does like to take new ideas slow. It took him awhile to trust that he really could hit me THAT hard. Make sure you wife understands that you are game but that your pace at getting comfortable with new scenarios might be a bit more conservative than hers. 

Besides the usual BDSM things, we sometimes take it outside the bedroom. My H will tell me that I'm not to wear underwear one day, for example. He might not even TOUCH me all day other to make sure I'm "compliant." Pretty much keep me aroused all day. 

I also have a piece of jewelry that I wear to signify that I'm "all in" for whatever he wants from me, whenever he wants it. He'll come into the room and have me stand facing the wall with my palms against it and feel me up roughly. Or he'll pin me to the wall with his hand on my throat and kiss me roughly while feeling me up. (We do do the choking thing--I just love his hands on my neck and the feeling of what he *could* do.) 

He'll give me a flash drive with some porn on it that he wants me to watch. Gives me a hint of what I might be in for later that night. Love this. 

He'll lay me out naked and spread eagled and blindfolded and proceed to mix pleasure and pain for the next hour--I never know what is next or when it's coming. He has a few toys that he purchased to use in these sessions and I'm NEVER allowed to see them. I don't even know what some of the implements are, or where he keeps them. Some of them I suspect are just things from around the house, others I know are sex toys. I LOVE it when he introduces something new. 

When it comes to PIV sex, I will sometimes fight him tooth and nail as hard as I can--and he will subdue me with brute strength. (I think he partly is afraid if he doesn't he might actually end up hurt.) So yeah, rape fantasy going on here. That one's a big turn on for us both. 

Have fun. Your wife must trust you deeply--and that's the best part of this dynamic. It really only works with deep, deep trust.


----------



## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

GettingIt said:


> Ha, I was just telling my H that it's been a long time (too long) since he's poured the melted wax on me. One of my rough sex faves so sure. Your scenario is a pretty damn good one, but not sure my H would go quite that far on his own. Time for some coaching . . .
> 
> OP, I love for my H to be pretty rough and dominating, but he does like to take new ideas slow. It took him awhile to trust that he really could hit me THAT hard. Make sure you wife understands that you are game but that your pace at getting comfortable with new scenarios might be a bit more conservative than hers.
> 
> ...


Kinda glad to see someone else into the same things. I keep out Dom/sub stuff kinda private because people are usually horrified. 

OP, don't ASK, just TAKE. Safe words are key. Force her to say dirty things about how much she loves what you do. If you are uncomfortable with actual choking (took my husband about 2 yrs to warm up to it) just a firm hand on her neck will do. 

Remind her throughout the day that you OWN her, she is YOURS. Instruct her to be waiting for you, in a saucy position, in your bedroom. 

She might not like PAIN but rather a firm hand. Experiment and listen to her body's


----------



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

I've also found the location or setting to add to the spice. 
Don't discount places for your encounters. Try including the dining room table, a pool table, the kitchen floor, the basement, the garage, (great for stringing someone's arms up to the rafters.) 

Some places even have rooms you can rent by the hour for your consensual and kinky brand of fun. 
BDSM Travel: Destinations


----------



## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Including light bondage and a blindfold with lots and lots of teasing ....... bondage meaning silk ties or soft ropes tied around her wrists and ankles along with the blindfold. 

The continued teasing in this position will heighten all of her senses and excitement ........ her being in such a submissive position and at your full " disposal " should arouse her ten fold. As you and her become more and more comfortable then you can become rougher with her.

Also always use a " safe " word where she and you know once this word is said out loud by her then everything stops. Good luck and enjooooy


----------

