# talking to your kids...



## bhappy3

If you've seen any of my other posts, you should know that I'm a face to face conversational dud. I just don't know what to talk to people about. 

What do you talk to your kids about? My daughter and I have a good half hour + in the mornings to talk, but I just don't know what to say, and I can tell that she's acquiring this horrible trait from me. We sit at the breakfast table and I ask her what she's doing in school today, but I ask her that same question every morning, I'm sure it gets old. 

I also drive a school van with four girls, ages 6,8,8 & 17. I don't know what to talk to them about either! And when I do talk to the 17yo, I feel like it's always the same thing... are you working today? 

Can anyone give me some pointers as to how to strike up a conversation with kids?? Please...


----------



## justean

your certainly not alone on this one, i feel guilt at times, when im silent in the car, driving the kids to school. but making myself conscious of the fact im quiet. i ask them no different to what you do. how school. homework. walking home and how do you feel - new school. 
have a look at your childrens homework or books, see what their learning. 
tell them what it was like in your day. 
get your photos out and get the children photos out. show them how much they have grown. ask them why they grow etc etc. 

but somethings come from taking the children to different places. 
like we went to a local park today, its huge forestry.
treking. things i notice , i simply asked the boys, questions about the countryside. my boys are 11 and 8. 
i noticed the huge amount of litter and we spoke of the environment . we were walking through streams, the flow was getin faster as we went further down - i asked them why. we spoke of rain and erosions. etc etc . list can be endless.


----------



## Honey

Just ask them about Playstation 3, is it better than the Xbox? My kids will talk all night long about things they are into. Find out what the kids like.. what they are into these days. Listen to them when they talk about things and then join in by asking a question.


----------



## draconis

How old is your daughter?

draconis


----------



## Honey

I like to know how do you get your kids to clean their room?
This has always been a problem with my last one.


----------



## bhappy3

oops, my daughter is 11. 

Can't ask her about playstation or Xbox... she doesn't play them, by her choice. She's a bookworm, period.

Somehow, my daughter keeps her own room clean. Or pretty clean, most of the time. She'll acknowledge when she needs to do it and would rather do that than her chores around the house. Just don't open her closet... lol!

Keep the tips coming... I appreciate all of them. I may have to write some down and keep the note with me when I'm with her so I can check it, kind of like a pocket guide! =)


----------



## justean

In my home, from a young age - i have just encouraged them to keep their rooms tidy. i tell them the benefits of it. im not saying they have to be imaculative, they are children. 
they keep their rooms to a standard - tidy , thats all i ask.
being mum - once a week i do the rooms myself and atleast once a month i go through the rooms and do the big blitz.
basically clothes put back into proper draws , go through clothes that are not fitting n e more.
then atleast twice a year summer and winter. we go though all the toys and have what i call charity night. 
the boys sort their stuff out that we either give to the family children or put them into a charity collection service. 
i do find the boys wil help more if i am with them. 
but then that gives us time to be together and work together.


----------



## Honey

bhappy3 said:


> oops, my daughter is 11.
> 
> Can't ask her about playstation or Xbox... she doesn't play them, by her choice. She's a bookworm, period.
> 
> Somehow, my daughter keeps her own room clean. Or pretty clean, most of the time. She'll acknowledge when she needs to do it and would rather do that than her chores around the house. Just don't open her closet... lol!
> 
> Keep the tips coming... I appreciate all of them. I may have to write some down and keep the note with me when I'm with her so I can check it, kind of like a pocket guide! =)


Yeah, I have a limit on any games with mine. I moved around rooms yesterday, and I found candy papers. 
I might make the honor roll, but I have no idea what a trash can is for. :rofl:

Oh, I can relate to what you said about the closet..SCARY !


----------



## Honey

justean said:


> In my home, from a young age - i have just encouraged them to keep their rooms tidy. i tell them the benefits of it. im not saying they have to be imaculative, they are children.
> they keep their rooms to a standard - tidy , thats all i ask.
> being mum - once a week i do the rooms myself and atleast once a month i go through the rooms and do the big blitz.
> basically clothes put back into proper draws , go through clothes that are not fitting n e more.
> then atleast twice a year summer and winter. we go though all the toys and have what i call charity night.
> the boys sort their stuff out that we either give to the family children or put them into a charity collection service.
> i do find the boys wil help more if i am with them.
> but then that gives us time to be together and work together.


I have went through and gave a lot of my clothes away, then I look around, and I am like.. oh, no..what am I going to wear?   I do the same with mine. I go through and have a throw away pile, save pile, and a give away pile. The kids do help with that, but cleaning is a big  do I have to?


----------



## justean

yep you do honey.


----------



## Honey

justean said:


> yep you do honey.



Huh? You lost me, hun. I do what? :scratchhead:


----------



## justean

Honey said:


> The kids do help with that, but cleaning is a big  do I have to?


my answer was yep you do .

as to bhappy3 - i just wanted to say thanks for this thread. you made me rethink doing things when it comes to my children and communicating.


----------



## Honey

Do your kids get excited when Christmas is coming?


----------



## bhappy3

ooo... Xmas is a bad time for me. She gets excited, but I hate xmas. We're not a religious family, so we don't talk about that stuff.

Caught myself sitting in silence this morning. Sigh.....


----------



## Leahdorus

I've started asking my son to tell me something funny his teacher did that day. Sometimes he can't think of anything (he's 7) but other times, it will make him think about something that happened that he wants to share.

At dinner time, and sometimes in the car on the way home, I will ask him to share the high point of his day, and the low point. And then I will do the same for myself, so he can hear what is going on in my world. Sometimes I have to make stuff up if there wasn't anything that I could share with him (like he doesn't need to hear that my lowpoint was me crying in the bathroom because his dad won't forgive me yet, etc...). 

But I could ask him about Legos or Star Wars, and we'd have something to talk about. LOL


----------



## Honey

Leahdorus said:


> I've started asking my son to tell me something funny his teacher did that day. Sometimes he can't think of anything (he's 7) but other times, it will make him think about something that happened that he wants to share.
> 
> At dinner time, and sometimes in the car on the way home, I will ask him to share the high point of his day, and the low point. And then I will do the same for myself, so he can hear what is going on in my world. Sometimes I have to make stuff up if there wasn't anything that I could share with him (like he doesn't need to hear that my lowpoint was me crying in the bathroom because his dad won't forgive me yet, etc...).
> 
> But I could ask him about Legos or Star Wars, and we'd have something to talk about. LOL


Aw.. God love them..kids are something else..they really are.


----------



## Guest

*Use This As A Perfect Opportunity To Find Out What's happening In Your child's Life and Give Them Guidance and moral direction. Say "Let's Play A Game. I want each of you to name one Good Thing That happened to You Yesterday.and Then I Want You To Name One Bad Thing that happened to you." This is where you get into the decisions and situations that your child must confront and since it's in the guise of a game, it doesn't make the child feel she/he is "crying to momma"*


----------



## Honey

If you talk to your kids, and use the right words, it does work. Worked for me when I potty trianed my last child. 

If you don't go to the potty every day, I'm trowing away all your toys. :rofl:

No, I didn't say that, but I did use the wrong words. When I changd it from pressure when you have to go  to you get a feeling front and back.. go to the potty. Boom.. he was trained.


----------



## Aleo

well, my son is 21 months but he usually has someting to say...
toddler stuff


----------

