# separation going on 3 yrs



## tlee (Feb 26, 2009)

My husband has been seeing another woman for the past 2-3years. He insists he didn't cheat on me? He has been telling me all this time, he would like to work things out, but when I tell him I need him to leave this other woman, he won't do it. And he doesnt understand why we cant work on things while seeing other people? Yes, three months after he left and he told me he wanted a divorce, I did meet someone, and it has been an on/off relationship. I am willing to stop seeing this person, if my husband would stop what he is doing, showing me he wants to be with me. Sometimes, he would use my relationship with the other man as an excuse to not leave his girlfriend. When I tell him I would break up with him, he then blames me for all the problems that led up to everything, and that he doesnt see things changing. I admit there were problems, but it takes two. I did get to a point where I filed for divorce, cuz the situation just seemed hopeless, but it isnt what I really want. And I thought it would make him realize this was serious, but it didnt seem to matter. He comes and goes whenever he wants to see the kids 12 and 16. Which is pretty much everyday. This drives me crazy. I am not very friendly towards him, because I know he is still seeing the other woman, and I am hurt by all he has done. It is difficult for me to try to open my heart to him. He is living with his mom, a half hr away, so has no where to take the kids, thats why he still comes around. I don't know if I should just give up and go through with the divorce or what. He was upset with me for filing and also uses that against me.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

He is a cake eater. Wants his family, wants his OW. You deserve more. Get a man that will love only you. Will there be pain? Yes. Is there pain now? Do what you know is right for you.


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

I would also request that he does not see the children at your home, but rather takes them out to eat, a movie, library, etc. It is making it harder on you to have to deal with him on a regular basis in your home.


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## tlee (Feb 26, 2009)

Unfortunately, he owns half the house and pays all the bills, so I can't legally keep him out and don't want to upset the kids, by changing locks. I feel the only way to keep him out is get the divorce. I have asked him multiple times to leave the OW, but he hasn't. It is so frustrating. He says he cares about my feelings, but he isn't showing it.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

then file for divorce. stop messing around and waiting for him to make decisions. you wil wait for ever. hes got it good , because your stil fighting for your marriage and hes got the other girl, cooshy number going on there for him.
a suggestion from experience - dont fight for him.
keep on with the other bloke you met. move on in your head from your marriage , have some fun, enjoy your children more.
separate beds in the home.
he wont last with the other girl and he knows it. 
your his safety net - take it away from him.


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

justean said:


> then file for divorce. stop messing around and waiting for him to make decisions. you wil wait for ever. hes got it good , because your stil fighting for your marriage and hes got the other girl, cooshy number going on there for him.
> a suggestion from experience - dont fight for him.
> keep on with the other bloke you met. move on in your head from your marriage , have some fun, enjoy your children more.
> separate beds in the home.
> ...


:iagree:
Well said!


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## MBJOE (Nov 2, 2008)

:iagree:


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