# Giving BJs=painful!



## Ponyo (Mar 22, 2010)

Hopefully I'm not a freak, lol. When I give my hubby a BJ, it is absolutely dreadful for me. I'd do it a lot more often if it wasn't! After 10 minutes, my jaw hurts horribly. It feels like getting an injection at the dentist, it's that bad. I also come away with bloody lips from my teeth scraping them, as I fold my lips over my teeth so I don't scrape him. Basically, giving a 15 minute BJ is like surviving a dental disaster. Swollen lips, cramped and sore jaws..ugh.

Can anyone help? Am I just doing it wrong? 

If it applies, he has a curve..maybe that's a factor?


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

We can't say whether you're doing it wrong unless you upload a video, but that's probably not a good idea. 

You might find it more comfortable to change positions often, and move to kissing the sides or otherwise stimulating him, thus allowing your jaw to relax in between times when you've got him inside.

I suppose it can't hurt to visit Amazon.com and look for books on oral sex. My wife got Marcy Michaels's _Blow Him Away_ as a gift, which was as much a gift to me as to her.


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## MarieJaniyaNelson (Mar 29, 2010)

What you're saying is 'How do you change a person's lifelong attitude to sex?' And the answer is that you generally can't.

About 30 or 40 years ago, a high proportion of the population thought that oral sex was 'abnormal' or 'perverted'. Indeed, '69s' and so on were very much a minority activity, engaged in by only about 20 per cent of the population.

All that has changed now, and oral sex has become 'par for the course' – especially among young people. But your wife's views are not those of today's younger generation, and you can't expect to brainwash her into changing them. Let’s see if Christine has any ideas...

Christine adds:

Oral sex is very personal - and subjective. Some people love it. Many women say it's the only way they can guarantee 'coming'. Others hate it.

As David says, it's hard to change someone's views on it. Some women love it in the summer when they're not going to get cold - but hate it in the winter. Many really dislike it if the man wants to put them in a 69 position where their bottom is in the air and they feel self-conscious. So the first thing to establish is whether your wife is amenable to this type of sex at all – and if so, what would please her.

On the subject of pleasing her, you say 'I just want to please her more'. Forgive me, but I don't think this is entirely true. I'm sure you do want to please her more. But what you're really saying is that you want oral sex and you feel she ought to like it. That's not quite the same thing!

You might encourage her to try it more if you add food substances to the process. Yoghurt is quite good on the genitals.

Many women think their genitals are ugly close up, or they worry about the natural smell of them. I know that is barmy and that most hot-blood men can't get enough of this fragrance – but many women just don’t feel confident about their pink bits. So, by adding another ingredient like cream or yoghurt, often the woman can relax more because she doesn't feel so exposed.

Another possibility is that she doesn't actually like the way you do it. Now, if you ask her about this, I fear she's unlikely to tell you the truth because she won't want to hurt your feelings. But you could ask her if she's ever liked it. And you could ask her if there's a special way she might enjoy it more.

However, at the end of the day, if everything else is great, and she steadfastly refuses to change her views on oral sex, I think you're just going to have to accept that no one can have everything, and make up your mind to concentrate on all the great aspects of your sex life that you do have. You can always practise oral sex in your fantasies!


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Well, first of all, work on really relaxing as your jaw may be tense and opening it so wide could be painful if you aren't very relaxed. Next, stop worrying about your teeth. You can scrape your teeth against him gently as long as you aren't biting down. Next, give him oral sex without taking him in your mouth the whole time. Use some good flavored lube and use your hands and then just kiss, suck, lick as a bonus, not the entire time....


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

HappyHer said:


> Well, first of all, work on really relaxing as your jaw may be tense and opening it so wide could be painful if you aren't very relaxed. Next, stop worrying about your teeth. *You can scrape your teeth against him gently as long as you aren't biting down.* Next, give him oral sex without taking him in your mouth the whole time. Use some good flavored lube and use your hands and then just kiss, suck, lick as a bonus, not the entire time....


I would be careful with that one. I for one am not a big fan of having teeth scrape. I would rather get no BJ than one that has any kind of teeth scraping.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Ponyo,

I'll give you one basic, easy way to give a BJ and your husband will love it and you wouldn't have any of the problems. I used to love this but haven't had the guts to kind of approach my new gf with it.

Ok. . .trying not to be graphic but here goes and sorry in advance if this is offensive.

You just lay on the pillow, with your head propped up, and kind of let him feed it to you and control the rhythm. Your tongue would be on the underside, which is the best side anyway. The teeth on the top side teeth aren't as much as an issue because they would be on the top side and that's not as sensitive. Of course, as with any BJ, clasping your hand around the shaft is key to give the perception of depth.

I used to have the most visceral orgasms this way. Holy crap I felt like I had exploded.

Anyway, you get to basically rest during this one and gravity works on your mandible.

It's the "lazy BJ" for the female. Good luck.


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## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

This happens to me if I haven't given one in a few weeks, and it is usually just positional. Have him stand, or lay on his back...and you knee in between his legs at his knees. It might help to get yourself turn on too before hand with some foreplay. (kissing, touching) You will not have to give oral for as long if you can get him seriously turned on. It usually makes me not notice anything except our mutual pleasure...who knows, you might get off too. 

Don't take it so seriously too. Alternate between thrusting, kissing, licking...etc. Give yourself some breaks to relax your jaw...changing up the routine always makes it more fun too.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

I don't understand why some women are so aggressive when giving oral sex, I watched a mate of mine literally gagging herself on a man's **** once and then turn around complaining her throat was sore afterwards!!!.....

If it hurts don't do it, use your tounge around the outside or just take the tip of his **** you don't have to jam the whole thing in your mouth...


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## Saya (Mar 25, 2010)

Hey Ponyo,

You are not a freak!

First, relax. Relax your neck and your jaw. While you give the BJ you need to mix up your technique. Don't just do the open you mouth and bob your head thing. suck and lick the sides of his penis. Pretend you are nibbling on an ear of corn. everynow and then take a break from the oral for a minute or two and use your hands to tease and explore. 

I think the back of the penis is a neglected bit of his anatomy. Hold him like a hotdog and stoke, tickle, lick etc... the back of it.

Move around into different positions too. approach his body from different angles (like on a clock). Which way does he curve? If say he curves up, approach him in like a 69 like direction (with him on his back). No need to straddle him (all the time!). You can put your chest on his abs with your arms on his legs.

Also change the angle of you face in relation to the line of your neck. This way you open up your throat more.

Also, do not be afraid to check out a porno or two. true that can be crude but it will give you an idea of the different ways to approach the BJ. There are also some real good instructional books and videos out there. I think I looked at something from the lover's guide and thought it was tasteful.

As for your teeth. Is he really big? My Hubs is pretty thick and I do not curl my lips over my teeth. That may be one reason your jaw hurts. 

Think of it this way, when you eat with a spoon or fork do you have to curl your lips over your teeth? Do you bite or drag them over your teeth? I know, there is a bit of a difference between silverware and a man's part but next time you use one, think about what your mouth does. Then try it with your man.

Good Luck!


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## Ponyo (Mar 22, 2010)

Thanks for all the great advice!! I'll start incorporating it.


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## pinkprincess (Jun 10, 2008)

ok so i have never heard of folding your lips over your teeth so that you dont scratch your teeth on him.... i have this funny picture in my mouth of if i was to try it my hubby would prob freak out that i had lost all my teeth.... maybe i am doing it all wrong but i dont just go up and down i tend to be more of a sucker and i tell you my hubby LOVES ... maybe try that angle have fun trying hahah


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