# Life Dilemma



## jeffescar (Dec 27, 2010)

Hey Friends

Very Nice Forum

I have a very nice question for all of you

I have my business set up and earning ok. Enough for proper living.

Now my parents are asking me to get married. they are looking for a girl for me from my country which is India. I am also ok for that as I have reached 26 already.

But my real question is arranged or love marriage

I stay in USA and i know if i go to some meet up events or any events I can find someone very good looking. only problem is I am so busy with my business that I never get time to go to such places. Also main disadvantage is if I meet someone I will go immediately in love and will marry her even if she is not that good..Also divorce rate is so high in here with such girls...

In arranged marriage I will have time to see atleast 10 different girls and than take my decision accordingly. So my options are increasing there. Also as I will be looking for girls from my country I can move to my country back anytime, My parents will be happy too. so in these option I am getting more selection and I dont have to spend that much time as going to events and parties...In these my parents are very selective as well as 2-3 people are there in making decision and final decision is mine. So very less chances of going wrong

So wht you guys think?..Is getting arranged marriage that bad?..


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

jeffescar said:


> Hey Friends
> 
> Very Nice Forum
> 
> ...


Sounds like Indian women are convenient products for Indian men to choose from.

I saw an Indian love movie and felt touched by their strong love.

Why can't you find a woman you really love?

I know it a culture thing. It's all about money & survival.

Women are happy to marry to a successful man even without loving that man.

Are you sure you want a marriage like that?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've actually heard that arranged marriages tend to be more successful then love marriages for reasons I don't fully understand. Or maybe that's just a rumor.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

I think arranged marriages can work out just fine. I think what you might be struggling with is the sense that you "should be able to find someone by yourself".

In the end you sound hard working and a little traditional, so finding a similar bride is ideal for you. You are completely correct that far too many American women are lousy wives that reach for the divorce button easily. So the average Indian girl has the advantage in marriage over the average American girl on that count.

Any marriage has that emotional roller coaster at the start and then settles into that warm relaxed everyday love. Unless the match is terrible in an arranged marriage, I'm sure you will experience that same thing you would in a love match.

Why not tell your parents your concerns and ask them to help you out. If they turn up someone for you that fits the bill and you are attracted to, then that's great. If not, then you can come back and keep working.

Your parents know you better than you realize. If you do go the love match route, make sure they approve of her too. Not all American women are bad wife material by any means.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

How about finding a traditional American Indian woman to fall in love with?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I hope that was a joke MsLonely lol


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

I know a couple that had an arranged marriage and both of them are very easy going to a point where I don't feel I would be too prying or insensitive asking about it.

He actually point blank admits that he told his parents to choose a bride because he just didn't have time himself to either date or choose himself (busy with his career). He is outgoing, funny, OK-looking (the looking part is a subjective matter, of course). They have two kids. Even though it was an arranged marriage they say that over time they fell in love with each other. Both of them are in their mid-thirties. I don't remember how long they have been married, but I would say close to 10 years, as the oldest kid is 7-8.

I see a point in arranged marriages (many of the reasons supporting the idea I actually agree with), but it's not something I would do personally. I am not Indian.

Overall divorce ratio in India is at 4%, I think. Vast majority of marriages in India are arranged. Whether those marriages are really that successful we will never know. Arranged marriages are part of the tradition as is the fact that people going for arranged marriages in India today are more traditional and far less inclined to getting a divorce even if the marriage is irreconcilable.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

MsLonely said:


> How about finding a traditional American Indian woman to fall in love with?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He's an Indian from India living in America. His parents live in India and would look for a bride from India.

American Indians are a whole different ethic group.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Maybe MsLonely meant "Indian American" ? Actually I have to stop and think for a split second to get the combination I want right


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

A Modern Indian Woman's Struggle with Arranged Marriage - Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist?


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Very interesting subject to me.

A marriage to me, is two components:

1. The Romantic Component

2. The Business Component

I think an arranged marriage very much succeeds on the business component because the arrangers (the matchmakers) are taking into account the financial factors, the age factors perhaps, child-rearing, family location, etc.

I think American marriage, as an institution, has often failed a lot because it doesn't take into account any economics.

Two people get lusty and hormonal for each other and think, "Gee. . .we should just keep this going. Marriage is just an extension of dating. Right?"

WRONNNNGGGG!!!!

I personally think there is a compromise here. . .you got 10 to choose from. It's not like they sending you a bride Parcel Post (or worse - COD)

Honestly, if my friends and family and people here at TAM talked to me and knew me and lined up 10 women from me to choose from and I had let's say an 18 month window to choose, I could live with that.

Now. . .I'll order up 1 Brunette, Italian, Mediterrean, Indian, Native American. . .all fine, voluptous build, laughs at my jokes, can cook decent, average libido or higher, age 28 to 45. . .find me 10 of these in a world of 6 billion people and I'll take if from there.

Trenton, Brennan, SimplyAmorous. . .get on it now - form a committee.

I want these women on my desk by Friday.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

BBW, Mem. . .I am assigning you different duty.

It's not that I don't trust you. . .but it's well. . .I don't trust you.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Scanner,

Can I join the men's table. 

Don't stare at my tits! 

:rofl: :rofl:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Yeah, it's a joke. Guys, jeffescar isn't here anymore anyway. Arranging marriage is an interesting topic.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks guys for your English correction.

American Indian = Native Americans (They are called Indians. There's also a kid's song called, 10 Little Indians...lol)

People from the Republic Of India, are also called Indians.

Can someone tell me why they are both called Indians?

My meaning was, he should find Indian women who also lives in the U.S. 

Arranging marriage isn't a bad idea. Adam & Eva were an arranged marriage by God.

However, it isn't a good idea because you need to marry a person whom you don't know... It's very scary for women.

However, men won't feel scared as long as she looks pretty. 

Most men have no problems sleeping with any pretty women even without knowing their real names...


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

> Can someone tell me why they are both called Indians?


Because Columbus, the idiot he was, thought he landed in India.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Hey, Columbus was no idiot - he was Italian. Italian's ruled the World for a 1000 years until our hypersexuality did us in. Brought us arts, civilization, running water, science, philosophy.

Now we rule South Philly and parts of S. and N. Jersey.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Haha! Heard recently Columbus was Polish! Hurray for me! Now where is my Green Card? LOL


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Greenpearl,

Yes, you can be on the committee. Asian woman is fine too in my 10 to select from - haven't seen a blonde or redheaded asian woman yet.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Hey, Columbus was no idiot - he was Italian. Italian's ruled the World for a 1000 years until our hypersexuality did us in. Brought us arts, civilization, running water, science, philosophy.
> 
> Now we rule South Philly and parts of S. and N. Jersey.


Columbus never brought arts. 

He found America by sailing mistakes.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Hey, Columbus was no idiot - he was Italian. Italian's ruled the World for a 1000 years until our hypersexuality did us in. Brought us arts, civilization, running water, science, philosophy.
> 
> Now we rule South Philly and parts of S. and N. Jersey.



Everything in Italy is still wonderful, except Silvio 

Who is Silvio? Roberto Benigni said he's an ugly pig. (Silvio is actually the smartest ugly pig you can ever find.)


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Hey, Columbus was no idiot - he was Italian. Italian's ruled the World for a 1000 years until our hypersexuality did us in. Brought us arts, civilization, running water, science, philosophy.
> 
> Now we rule South Philly and parts of S. and N. Jersey.


and lead poison.brought in by their aqua ducts(running water)


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Hey, Columbus was no idiot - he was Italian. Italian's ruled the World for a 1000 years until our hypersexuality did us in. Brought us arts, civilization, running water, science, philosophy.
> 
> Now we rule South Philly and parts of S. and N. Jersey.


Don't forget Rhode Island.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Very interesting subject to me.
> 
> A marriage to me, is two components:
> 
> ...


Not a problem. Not a problem.


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