# Urge to cheat



## Kalai (Apr 27, 2009)

My husband and I have been married for about a year. We dateed for 5 years prior to getting married. We have always, had a great relationship. We love each other very much, make each other laugh, we are best friends. In the past couple of months I have been feeling the intense urge to cheat on my husband. We have a decent sex life so it's not that. I am strangely attracted to the thrill of it, like it would be fun to do it. I have no idea why either. Has anyone ever felt like this before? Any advice to offer. I hate feeling this way, I am afraid I might dosomething I might regret.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

If you are craving excitement in your marriage then I would suggest finding anything other than having an affair.

I think anyone who has been with their partner for awhile feels the urge for "someone or something" different and more exciting, even the best of romances and marriage can hit a boring spot.

Find some way to spice up things, role play...go to a bar separately and have him pick you up and play a little hard to get...but a costume, police officer, cheerleader, prison inmate, something such as that and have some fun.

These are all suggestions to help a mundane intimate issue though, if there is something else that compels you to cheat then you might want to find out what it is and figure out how to stop it before you start.

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

K,

You are referring to an affair, or one night steaming sex with a stranger craving. 

There is a big difference.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

It seems a normal urge. Please don't cheat. There are way too many consquences.


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Sensitive,

You sound like my wife, as she states "god has taken care of that for us". 

No need to cheat, or do the right thing and divorce your hubby and go enjoy yourself.


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## Kalai (Apr 27, 2009)

reidqa01 said:


> K,
> 
> You are referring to an affair, or one night steaming sex with a stranger craving.
> 
> There is a big difference.




One night...


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Don't do it. That one nighter would change everything in your marriage. 

You would not stop at one time. It's like popcorn at the movies.

Use the fantasy of it in your sex life or as wack material, just do not cheat. You will regret it.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Kalai said:


> One night...


Is one night of steaming sex worth risking your marriage over? What about the years of guilt that might follow? How will your self esteem hold up? How about the pain your husband will feel? And don’t forget the other possibilities. Herpes, gonorrhea, HIV…

Fantasies are OK, acting on them is real and holds real risks. Spice it up with the hubby instead.


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

K,

Great advice from others, my ex was in your mindset and destroyed not only us but her life also.

Think about it, a finger and fantasy could do the same.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Ya I think that its normal I do the same I have those thoughts to! but you know I always stop and re check my thoughts I love my hubby and couldnt do it!


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Sun,

This is why nature gave us the ability to enjoy ourselves and fantasies alone.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

hmmm..... well I dunno?


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Sun,

Oh yes you do as a female.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Well I just think that we all make mistakes I dont know one person who hasnt had some sort of cheating in a relationship so........


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

Hi kalai, 

this feeling is totally normal. i've been with my fiance for 9 years and sometimes when i dont feel like i'm getting what i want or something missing, i feel the urge to cheat. rather, take some time together and spend it lovingly. 

you can also try some of the people's advice such as role play. play stranger and have an exciting "one night stand" with your husband but in role play. 

once, i wanted my fiance soooo bad, that when we were in the car together i jumped him sexually and we had such an erotic time even thought it was a quickie and then i said leave right when i got that feeling of a cop and we drove and the police drove by. 

that was pretty exciting and i got such an enjoyable feeling and thrill out of it.


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## roxiehart (Aug 30, 2008)

Well I can tell you from experience its not worth it. yes its exciting and thrilling and love all the attention but in the end its wrong. I have been married 9 years and 4 kids, I thought my husband was cheating on me he did everything in his power to make me think that. I am sure he did or is still seeing her, but I have to just put it behind me. We are at this point still talking divorce and I am still seeing other men but its horrible at home. Just try and do everything possible to fix it without cheating. But I totally understand where you are coming from. Just hang in there sweetie. 
if you want to talk more add me as your friend.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Reverse roles. He loves you but wants to screw somebody else. Are you buying that argument?

Your other bold option is to tell him. If you can work it through together, odds are you will both be happier for it. Sharing fantasies can be extremely bonding and exciting. If he freaks and distances himself from you, then hey, you get your wish and can put yourself out there.


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