# I think I may have been stupid/blind



## stumped (May 16, 2008)

I have always trusted my husband 100% and when he told me he was unhappy one of the first questions out of my mouth was is there someone else? 

I dont know if I am letting my imagination run wild because I dont have any answers...or I am actually picking up on clues.

There is a woman at his work (typical I know) that he has made comments about that he thought she was attractive etc. but we have always been open about it so no big deal. She is married with two kids (only with her hubby because of the kids) I know her as well and have known her as long as my hubby (he works for her and I trained her for her job). Anyway she has cheated on her husband a couple times that I know of twice with people from work. 

Well I have found pictures on hubby's camera of her (and other girls in the office) but they have always been just random pictures like he is walking by and just snapping pictures and its not like they are of just her there would just be random pictures and I never really thought anything about it because they were random and not like face shots or ass shots or anything. So anyway he went to a cookout on saturday and I looked at his camera last night and there was a picture of her like the back of her head like she was sitting down and he was sitting behind her. I told him about a week ago that I understand she works for him but I didnt like the relationship he had with her, because I didnt trust her and he said well thats understandable and fair. Then I find this picture of her.....oh also let me mention that they had to go to Las Vegas for work just the two of them for two days and they shared a hotel room. I was furious when I found out they were going to be sharing a hotel room....he said we are just friends and she is an employee!!! 

So ontop of all that the moring I found a picture of him shirtless laying on HIS bed from the chest up! Now why do guys take pics of themselves like this???? I am not stupid you take pics like that to email to FEMALES!! I am so furious right now! So I have decided I am going to confront him tonight and HOPE he tells me the truth whatever that may be.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Shared a hotel room on a business trip????? Sorry that sound totally bogus. Any business would not allow that to happen just from the possible liability standpoint. You have a right to be concerned. There is no reason a spouse should be sharing a room on a business trip. Call him on it and get him to be honest with you. As for the self portrait, who knows but is does sound fishy. Good luck in your discussion with him.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

You are neither blind nor stupid. He may be a bit of both. Sharing a hotel room with a female employee is improper. I wonder what his HR department would think. They should have had separate rooms and no matter how he justifies it you have a right to be upset and whether he touched her or not that is cheating in my book. Its time to cut him loose!


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

Amplexor said:


> Shared a hotel room on a business trip????? Sorry that sound totally bogus. Any business would not allow that to happen just from the possible liability standpoint. You have a right to be concerned. There is no reason a spouse should be sharing a room on a business trip. Call him on it and get him to be honest with you. As for the self portrait, who knows but is does sound fishy. Good luck in your discussion with him.


He is one of the owners (there are 3)


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## nidal (Jun 30, 2008)

Hi ...
why he share a room with this bad women ! where is her hubby ?
she has no values and ethics ? what shall two sleep in the same room do at night ? sure : sex affairs ....

I'm sorry to tell you that your husband is not saying the truth.
he is cheating ...and he is also trying to make you aware of his illegal relationship ...?
this is the bad of women working with men ... many troubles same to this happening daily each hour and minute !!!
I do not know how he can sleep in the same room ? how he did not think about your feelings and jealousy ? he did not care much about you ? otherwise he would not told you that !!!

your husband as I'm sure is in love relation with that deceiving woman ...may be romantic love or sexual attraction ....

well you did not told me how long u been married ? how strong and happy are your marriage ? is there any conflicts between u 2 ?
how did u treat him and vise versa ?
this information is very helpful to analyse ur problem .

for the picture u found : may be that woman took that picture as a signal she want to make you aware for her relation with ur husband!!!
or if ur husband took that picture ... he may be want to make u so jealous about him ... may be he want to bring ur attention !!

in ur confront ... you should mention that it is not his rights or her rights to do so (sleep in one room ... even taking pictures )... and it is ur right to ask him to change his section or change his job even ... that will not solve the problem .. but that will sound as strong communication for asking ur rights as a loyal wife and loyal partner.

as I guess ... that woman has an emotional\sexual problem with her husband and she tried to take the balance or to escape from the reality by infidelity with some one smart and next to her office ... and she succeded tgill now.
please tell me what is ur hubby response when u confront him .

GOOD LUCK
Nidal


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## Mrs. Negestie (Jul 15, 2008)

stumped said:


> I have always trusted my husband 100% and when he told me he was unhappy one of the first questions out of my mouth was is there someone else?
> 
> I dont know if I am letting my imagination run wild because I dont have any answers...or I am actually picking up on clues.
> 
> ...



I know that it is really hard right now but you must try to stay calm so that you can get your point accross before the yelling comes in and you are able to hear both sides of the story.


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

Mrs. Negestie said:


> I know that it is really hard right now but you must try to stay calm so that you can get your point accross before the yelling comes in and you are able to hear both sides of the story.


I am prepared not to yell. Im not a yeller to begin with. I have been thinking about how I am going to approach it and this is what I have come up with...

I am just going to tell him "I need to ask you the most important question I am ever going to ask you and I NEED you to be honest with me no matter how badly you dont want to tell me" 

Then I am going to ask him if he has been intimate with anyone besides me and I dont mean just sex, kissing, cuddling, hand holding etc. 

and wait for his response.


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## nidal (Jun 30, 2008)

my reply seems to be so harsh and strong..
sometimes if the person who ask is so kind and never know about cheating ... i have to be clear and strong with him to make him awake ! You shall not wait till u see them doing sex together or some thing else ... you should ask for ur rights ..


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

Bringing up an old thread...but figured I would give an update. Seems like I was stupid and blind. Ex just informed me last weekend that he wants to date this said "work girl". She is still married (well so is he technically lol) and still living with her husband...although he has lied to me about that but that is irrelevant. So yeah the anger came ou on my end in the beginning because I feel like a fool. I have since gotten over it though.....life is too short for me to carry anger for people that dont deserve to be part of my life. 

But I guess everyone was right........there was someone else....at least it definatley appears that way!


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

stumped said:


> He is one of the owners (there are 3)


then he needs to be made aware of the huge liability he exposed his company (and family) to.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

stumped-

Well you're in a much better place now  Good for you.


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## Godiva (Nov 7, 2008)

Hi Stumped, 

You were neither stupid nor blind: you were keeping your paranoia in check even while your senses told you things were not right. But you a classy lady. Good riddance to the Bum! (Sorry, I normally don't trash people's spouses)


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## *Aceso* (Oct 25, 2008)

I just need to say that it wasn't you who was stupid. He was the stupid one. He is loosing a good woman for a skanky one. Hasn't he ever heard of "What goes around comes around." ? 
Good luck to you.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

You are not stupid. You were deceived. I am so sorry. You are better off without him and I hope you can find someone more deserving. Thank you for the update, though it is sad.


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## stumped (May 16, 2008)

Thanks guys!!!
Everyone is ABSOLUTELY right I am better off without him =)

And yes he is the stupid one not me!


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