# Been Lurking and need some advice.



## Frustrated_Hubby (Mar 22, 2018)

Hi. I have been lurking on this site and am ready to post a question. Hope I get what i need.

The people on this site are awesome. So let me set the stage. I am 48, wife is 51. Married 21 years, together for 23+ Menopause has set in. 2 kids 20 and 16. We are active in the bedroom (but not as much as I like). She is very vanilla when it comes to that. We went through a time when I would initiate and get turned down repeatedly. That is what led me to this site. By lurking and reading some of that has changed. Told her that I need/want it 3-5 times a week. she agreed and things are better. Still around 1 or 2 time a week, but less starfish duty sex.

Here is my problem..... last night we were fooling around and talking. I thought that she likes to be aroused and caressed in order to warm her up. She basically says, get on with it. I ask her (I know I am going to get **** for this) if she wants me to be more forceful. She doesn't say yes, but she doesn't say no either. I have asked for BJ or to go down on her. She says she doesn't like it, but has done both before. Sex is pretty vanilla. I want to spice it up, add positions, do oral."

I need some ideas to be more forceful and aggressive without pissing her off and shutting down again.


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