# Pay back loan..please help...



## WheretoGoHmm (Feb 28, 2012)

Pay back Loan

Ok well I'll get straight to the point... my mother gave me like $20K back in 2004.. i think i told my spouse my mother gave me the money but don't really remember..

about a year and half ago i told my spouse i needed to start paying her back like $300 per month...but my spouse said they didn't even know i owed my mother the money... and that it was before we were married so my spouse doesn't want to pay her back (i think we were married when this happened).. my spouse also said how do i know you're telling the truth... so basically my spouse wanted to divorce before I paid back my mother...

well it has been a while, but why in the world would i lie about owing my mother money when i know it would get my spouse upset...

anyways... i feel obligated to pay my mother back even though my mother says don't worry about it... how can I just not worry about paying back my mother $20K??....


so now a year and half later i am starting to think about paying my mom back the money again...so my question to you guys... What should I do? Am I wrong to pay my mother back? This is just getting crazy... i want to do the right thing here no matter what the circumstance is... Thank you for reading and any suggestions would be grateful.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Do you have siblings?


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## Ansley (Apr 5, 2010)

pay her back a little at a time, even if it is just work she needs done to her car/around the house. make sure she knows you arent going without in order to pay her. us mom's worry


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

WheretoGoHmm said:


> Pay back Loan
> 
> Ok well I'll get straight to the point... my mother gave me like $20K back in 2004.. i think i told my spouse my mother gave me the money but don't really remember..
> 
> ...


Pay your mother back. It's the right thing to do.

As to when the loan was given to you; what did you need that much money for? That should refresh your memory as to whether the loan was given BEFORE the marriage or after.

If the loan was given BEFORE the marriage, you can't claim it as a marital debt; if it was AFTER your marriage, then it was a marital debt and owed by you as a couple. That means your wife owes half. Did she enjoy the benefits of what is was you used the money for? Everything depends on when the debt was incurred (before or after the wedding).

Of course your wife would not want to pay it back. 10K (half) is a lot of money, but if the funds were used for the marriage, then it really doesn't matter where the money came from, it's still a debt.


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## WheretoGoHmm (Feb 28, 2012)

survivorwife --- 
the money was used for some property investment condos i bought and i was selling... needed to float the mtg payments.. i told her i would pay her back after i sold the properties.. 

actually early this morning i told my spouse i need to pay my mother back the money.. like installments of $300 per month.. 
my spouse was upset.. but it didn't go as far as divorce atleast yet...maybe it hasn't sunk in yet totally. we'll see.. 

but i feel much better that i told my spouse i have to pay my mother back.. like you said survivorwife it's the right thing to do.. it has been probably 6 years since she loaned me the money.. i feel terrible.. it has been eating away inside me for so long.. i just want to pay her back she is my mom and she deserve to get paid back ASAP.. i will feel much better when i start making these monthly payments to her even it is only $300 per month.. i think my mom will be happy.. 

I borrowed the money right at the beginning of our relationship but i really believe it was after we were married and i also believe i told my spouse about the money.. but whatever it is i felt bad for my spouse and my mom.. but i need to do the right thing and that is to pay my mom back. Thank you for your support and comments!


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