# This is my first posting...I have been married for many years. On my 12th anniversar



## Pantone429c (Feb 8, 2018)

It turned out to be a disappointment for me, meaning no sex
My wife Susan had an excuse but I didn’t buy it and like other men here I kept trying but no luck. Eventually I just gave up and thru myself into my work and hobbies. 

Susan and I do a lot of activities that we enjoy together but for some reason sex is no longer one of those things. Recently we have decided that we want sex and we want it with each other.......The problem is, I find that I no longer have any desire for her....she won’t admit it but I think she feels the same.......

Thoughts.



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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Pantone429c said:


> It turned out to be a disappointment for me, meaning no sex
> My wife Susan had an excuse but I didn’t buy it and like other men here I kept trying but no luck. Eventually I just gave up and thru myself into my work and hobbies.
> 
> Susan and I do a lot of activities that we enjoy together but for some reason sex is no longer one of those things. Recently we have decided that we want sex and we want it with each other.......The problem is, I find that I no longer have any desire for her....she won’t admit it but I think she feels the same.......
> ...


You just shared seven bits of a thousand piece puzzle, and want folks here to discern the image.

Some more details would help...kids, ages of you and your spouse, years married, when sex waned, any history of infidelity, etc. would get you better answers.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Pantone429c said:


> It turned out to be a disappointment for me, meaning no sex
> My wife Susan had an excuse but I didn’t buy it and like other men here I kept trying but no luck. Eventually I just gave up and thru myself into my work and hobbies.
> 
> Susan and I do a lot of activities that we enjoy together but for some reason sex is no longer one of those things. Recently we have decided that we want sex and we want it with each other.......The problem is, I find that I no longer have any desire for her....she won’t admit it but I think she feels the same.......
> ...


It's possible to rebuild the passion in your relationship.

Where to start? Get the books "Love Busters" and "His Needs, Her Needs", read them together and do the work that they say to do.

Then, if, after doing that you still cannot find the passion then go together to see a marriage counselor who is also a sex therapist. They have techniques that they teach that help people get their sex life back.

How was the passion & sex in the earlier years of your relationship?

How long has your relationship been sexless?

Does your wife know why she stopped wanting sex?


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