# Technology ruined feelings of romance / sex



## Johntee (Apr 27, 2017)

Do you think that new technology (Smart phone, whatsapp, facebook etc) has ruined feelings of romance and sex between couples. We wasted our times on social media rather to spend with our partner. On other hand, We don't feel privacy anywhere. There is always fear of hidden cameras in rooms of hotel. Kissing, tight hugging and few other intimate actions in public are now less than before because of fear of coming these moments infront of whole world just by one click on facebook live by someone present there or caught through whatsapp etc. One of my friend is sales man at Sex shop. He told couple avoid visiting sex shop because of all these technologies and prefer to buy all tools _. Is world going to be conservative because of this technology?


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Technology has had the opposite impact in my world. We engage in mild sexting which I love love love. We txt each other often during the day just to say hi and how is your day going, for us tech keeps us even more connected. As for PDA's, we are very much touchy feely regardless of the fact there are cameras everywhere, 99% of the world would be very bored watching MrH and I kissing and cuddling so it really is no issue.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

I think anyone that spends that much time on their phone, FB etc, when they have a loving human being in the same room/house to interact with, really needs to grow up. Teenagers are glued to their phones, grown ups interact and enjoy sharing physical space. 

Technology can help relationships, but it can also distract us, we become lazy and entitled to a quick, instant fix. Real life relationships can be difficult and trying. It took me a long time to work out that it wasn't the technology that caused the problems in my marriage, but it certainly provided clear evidence that there was a lot wrong with us. To which I am kind of grateful.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I left all social media years ago. Literally, TAM is the only thing I browse with any regularity, apart from news website. 

I work in IT audit. I'm aware that we are monitored everywhere, so I choose to keep to myself whenever possible. Tech has always been in my life but I respect the "old ways" as well. I've been told that I need to use social more. No thanks. If you need me, you can call or even better, use that archaic, lost skill called writing a letter.


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## Johntee (Apr 27, 2017)

Sexting is only one part accessories given by Technology. For me, lost of freedom is biggest sacrifice against modern technology.
Family gatherings in park, couple outdoor activities and some other similar activities are going less and less for last one decade.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Johntee said:


> Kissing, tight hugging and few other intimate actions in public are now less than before because of fear of coming these moments infront of whole world just by one click on facebook live by someone present there or caught through whatsapp etc. Is world going to be conservative because of this technology?


I'm confused, so I am going to ask. I have never experienced anyone filming or photographing my husband and I without us knowing and then posting it online...BUT...why would we care if someone posted us kissing or tight hugging? If a couple is married, and chooses to do this stuff in public, who would we be worried about seeing that? Our families and friends all know we are married, and know we do this stuff? Maybe I am missing something here? 

My initial response to your question is - No, the world gets less and less conservative all the time.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

In my opinion people seem to overreact to technology as if paranoid. YES technology does a tremendous amount of stuff without you even knowing, but this is primarily for the purpose of improved marketing. 

In the event someone uses technology for nefarious purposes to play "peeping tom," I have watched enough porn to know that even when professionally produced, a good camera angle (along with focus & lighting) is extremely challenging. Even for those that produce their own porn, this is even exponentially more challenging as you have a fixed position unlikely to get the best part of the action, or the footage is shaky and kind of gives the viewer a headache. 

Now with that in mind there are so many professional and amateur porn stars now that it would be impossible to count them all. Many of which spend countless hours of effort and resources to promote themselves in the hopes that people will even see them in the endless sea of all things nude/sexual on the internet. 

So I could probably hire a professional film crew to follow me to a hotel room and produce a high quality film of myself having a sexual bonanza. Then many hours would have to be spent doing post production, uploading it to sites, and carefully categorizing/taging it (oiled, beefcake, bizarre, acrobatic, handsome, toys, edging, lassoing furniture with penis) just so that my targeted demographic will have any hopes of finding it. Then I would have to scour the internet for blogs and write in depth stories about my bonanza at the hotel and post some preview photos to hopefully generate some interest. While perhaps a few thousand people might see my content, the average viewing time will end up just being less than a minute before they get bored and move onto something else. Then perhaps the few people that liked it would begin complaining that I need to produce something new. Then after a short amount of time the only thing left from this whole experience would be a broken link a few years later after blog domains cease to exist and no one cares.

So in that context, I feel pretty safe, even if there is a small video camera hidden in my hotel room disguised as a coat hanger next to the bed. But then again, I am a guy and no one in their right mind would care to stare for hours on end while my wife tells me it is not going to happen because she is tired and sunburned from being at the beach all day. It would be a very sad video, and the poor quality would likely make the person that hid the camera in my room return his spy gear and take up another hobby.

Regards,
Badsanta


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife thinks the world is becoming more conservative. She watches some TV while I'm at work, via streaming. She points out the characters are very conservative. She mentions real people seem much more conservative, to her, now than ever before.

But I was a wild child of the sixties and I definitely corrupted my wife. Back in those days free love was a thing, some places. I'm sure I took her to the wrong places.

We did watch some episodes of a TV show called Friends once, with some friends. Those characters are so sexually repressed and hung up I couldn't stand watching it. What was wrong with them? If those people had been like even the most conservative people we knew back in the seventies some of them would've been having sex every episode.

My wife actually has said she thinks it's because of the standardization of behavior caused by too much Big Brother, as in the book, not the TV show. 

But then, we did have a neighbor threaten to call the police on us once when I was holding Mary in the front yard and gave her a kiss. That was in 1978. Ever since then Mary makes sure I give her a nice long goodbye kiss up against the car every morning. She's waiting to hear it went viral.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W and I sext. When on long trips we use the phone for reading about interesting people or places. My W will read as I drive. It keeps us busy connecting and talking. My W does play candy crush but only after I fall asleep. She looks at FB when time allows. 

The new technology is not the problem. The problem stems from the user of the technology.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> The new technology is not the problem. The problem stems from the user of the technology.


Wait, are you saying that we tend to blame preexisting problems on technology and avoid solving real problems in favor of something that promises us instant gratification?

I mean I tried this app for at least 15 minutes and could not even knock over an empty bucket with the suggested moves. This app is ineffective in my opinion.










Now while that is a joke, technology does have a tendency to teach us that in the event something is not immediately gratifying that it is perhaps obsolete/inefficient/broken and that the best solution is to get a new one. Thus the reason why we find a post on TAM where a couple has a mild problem and the immediate solution is to divorce and move on to someone new and better.

In that sense technology does create a problematic trend.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

badsanta said:


> Wait, are you saying that we tend to blame preexisting problems on technology and avoid solving real problems in favor of something that promises us instant gratification?
> 
> I mean I tried this app for at least 15 minutes and could not even knock over an empty bucket with the suggested moves. This app is ineffective in my opinion.
> 
> ...


Well...no IMO. Today's world does not shun divorce as it did decades ago. In fact, it is widely accepted as a cultural norm as decades ago it was not acceptable.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I really don't care what cameras I appear on. I have nothing to be embarrassed about or to hide. I stay off of social media because I have no need to share my life or read about the minutia of other people's lives. I do not care what others "LIKE" or dislike. Why would someone be afraid to show affection or romance when out in public out of fear of it being seen by others or appear on video tape? Better yet, why would anyone want to make that public and open themselves up to a substantial civil case? There is very little privacy these days, but we have not yet come to the point where what is recorded on video is freely distributed around the world. Perhaps because I have had sex in large groups, I am used to being watched or just do not give a damn what others think of me. My wife cares about what total strangers that she will never see again, think about her. I never understood that in her and others. Why would anyone care what stranger's see or think about us? Heck, we accidently gave my sister-in-law a video tape of my wife and I in a threesome with her best girlfriend and lover. I did not bat an eye. It was hot and flattering for all concerned.  I do not believe in living my life as others would want me to. Never did and that is why my life has been different than most.


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