# Have you ever been told this or said this?



## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

We were made for eachother and/or we were meant to be together?

I have been told this. I know some others on here have because they have mentioned this in their posts. Is it just a "feel good" thing to say in the moment? IF it was true then, wouldn't it still be true now? Many of us are no longer with the person that said these words to us.

Thoughts?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

We say this often in our marriage. My husband had never been married and that was because he hadn't found the right person. I also did not ever feel the way I do toward my current hubby about my 20+ year XH. 

No relationship is perfect, and we struggle with differing sex drives. That's our challenge. I feel if it wasn't that it would be something else...combining two very well established adult lives and all that entails. Ultimately it seems like it should have been a lot harder than it was.

Our issue aside, we truly prefer to spend every moment together and we practically do because of our circumstances. All our friends and family can't believe how we are. We seriously miss each other when I go grocery shopping. I hope it won't fade in time. My parents certainly never did. Their love just got bigger and better over time, and I feel like we are doing that too.


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## xMadame (Sep 1, 2016)

Some people just get along and compliment each others personalities so well that it seems like you were meant for that person. I think it is just a nice thing to say when things just blend so perfectly together.

I felt that way about my ex and my kids dad, but neither worked out for other reasons and regardless of what tore apart both relationships, I will always love them both very deeply.


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## Edo Edo (Feb 21, 2017)

I've see way too many people claim they were "meant to be together," only to split up weeks, months, or years later. The partnerships that we find ourselves in is due to the choices we make in life, not because of any predestination. 

If our lives were predetermined in that way, I would find it... unsettling...


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

My husband said this to me after we visited a reader (or whatever) in his little European home town. According to her, we're soul mates, although I'm a very new soul and he's a very old soul. SHe said he never lived past 25 when he was any of hsi other souls because he was either making terrible decisions or doing too much for other people and just burning out. Apparently, he'll live to a ripe old age with me lol I laugh but it was actually a very intense and lovely reading


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

LostinMO said:


> We were made for eachother and/or we were meant to be together?
> 
> I have been told this. I know some others on here have because they have mentioned this in their posts. Is it just a "feel good" thing to say in the moment? IF it was true then, wouldn't it still be true now? Many of us are no longer with the person that said these words to us.
> 
> Thoughts?


*Yeah! Both my XW and my RSXW had said the same damned thing about our early marriage unions when I was with each of them! Never quite remember, however, hearing those same dazzling remarks being reiterated at either of the divorce hearings!

Sadly, those words and a $1.00 bill will buy you a nice hot cup of java, provided that the java still costs a buck!*


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My parents were married for forty four years they died when I was twenty seven and I honestly can't remember them ever spending a night apart.My brother is married over thirty years and he told me a few weeks ago that it is over twenty years since him and his wife spent a night without each other and that was because of bad weather.
Some people just gel and it sounds as corny as hell but two can become one.
On a side note both my parents died on the same day so hopefully they are still together somewhere.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's true in the moment for the person saying it. Nothing in life is permanent, so this feeling may not last. YMMV.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Some people just gel...


True. We gelled when she said those words to me. It didn't last in this case. Sad how things can change.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, I've been told that and I'm no longer with the person who said it. I think people often get caught up in the moment and later change their mind. Or something. 

In your case, try as you may you'll never figure out the truth of why your ex-gf said that -- and neither will the rest of us who are not with that person now. It just happened. And so we move on because that's what we need to do.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

It's a nice thought, but unrealistic. 


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Hormonally-inspired nonsense, IMO.

A nice sentiment, though.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Variations I have said and had said to me. It is not a negative thing in fact it would be terrible if someone said "we weren't made for each other" yet remained with you.

MrH V2 and I were meant to be together without any doubt in my mind at all but I am realistic and know that life can change, people can change. We are one of those couples that have an energy field around us and so many people have commented to me how we exude a happy, positive vibe and they enjoy being around us. 

But meant to be together in our case is about many things, we are compatible but we also challenge each other which means that even at our ages we are growing individually and as a couple.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

No but I think we were both lucky to have found each other. Neither of us were what the other was looking for; probably why we're still together decades later


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LostinMO said:


> We were made for eachother and/or we were meant to be together?
> 
> I have been told this. I know some others on here have because they have mentioned this in their posts. Is it just a "feel good" thing to say in the moment? IF it was true then, wouldn't it still be true now? Many of us are no longer with the person that said these words to us.
> 
> Thoughts?


I was told this, or something similar. And we are still together 28 years later...


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I've said this and have heard this before, but my husband and I had a friendship for a few years, and how we see things now is that our paths were meant to cross. Kind of a similar idea, but a little different.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

There are two notions at work here. For the religious, there is the notion that God has brought you together and therefore you are meant to be together. "What God has brought together..." For the non-religious its usually not meant as "You are the only person I could be with". It's more of an acknowledgement that the two of you are "right" for each other. 

Marriage requires commitment and adaptability. Lose one or the other and you are heading for divorce. Two people can grow in different ways and still love and cherish each other. 

Have I ever told my wife this? No. But I have told her that I love her so very much and I'm glad that I married her. I tell her often how much she has made my life better and how happy she makes me. 

I know that there are other women I could have been happy with, but SHE is the one that makes me happy and that I am committed to.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

LostinMO said:


> We were made for eachother and/or we were meant to be together?
> 
> I have been told this. I know some others on here have because they have mentioned this in their posts. Is it just a "feel good" thing to say in the moment? IF it was true then, wouldn't it still be true now? Many of us are no longer with the person that said these words to us.
> 
> Thoughts?


Despite being married and having kids when I met DH, he's my first love. I was a rather...cynical youth. I more or less thought true, lasting, deep, romantic love was rare, if not mythical, and it made people act foolish, so...

In 1999 I walked into a club and literally fell in love at first sight. Within 3 months we both completely changed our lives and we were planning a future together. 

He's the only man I've said those words to. 

I've also said those words to my Pit Bull, Renee. She's my soul-mutt. I met her in 2011 and we're still together, too.



Andy1001 said:


> My parents were married for forty four years they died when I was twenty seven and I honestly can't remember them ever spending a night apart.My brother is married over thirty years and he told me a few weeks ago that it is over twenty years since him and his wife spent a night without each other and that was because of bad weather.
> Some people just gel and it sounds as corny as hell but two can become one.
> On a side note both my parents died on the same day so hopefully they are still together somewhere.


Maybe they loved each other so much God spared them ever being parted.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I didn't think dogs were included. Of course me and my Fritzee-bitz were meant to be together! Duh!



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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Of course, but circumstances change, people change and the ups and downs of life can take the shine off. When in the first throes of love and passion, we never see anything wrong with the SO, when the shine wears off and oh horror we realise they are very much human, flaws and all then maybe those words are spoken much less


And in my experience when I was young, guys would say anything to get into your knickers. I remember being at a disco (yes my age!) and this gorgeous guy asked me to dance, we got on so well (he was a relative of a friend) sparks were flying, I though I had met my soul mate,we danced and talked the night away, he whispered those words to me, i thought i was in heaven. I went home with my friends and guess what, never heard from him again (he had my number). Actions always speak louder than words.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> Despite being married and having kids when I met DH, he's my first love. I was a rather...cynical youth. I more or less thought true, lasting, deep, romantic love was rare, if not mythical, and it made people act foolish, so...
> 
> In 1999 I walked into a club and literally fell in love at first sight. Within 3 months we both completely changed our lives and we were planning a future together.
> 
> ...


Is that Renee in your avatar.
As for my parents it's a nice thought but not really applicable in their situation.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Andy1001 said:


> Is that Renee in your avatar.
> As for my parents it's a nice thought but not really applicable in their situation.


My current avatar is Ike. He's an 8 year old American Bulldog and my mushy-faced lovikins. He's also a hell of a guard dog.

I'm going to swap avatars so all my companion animals get a turn. Ike is the eldest, so he went first.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

This borders on soul mate idea. We don't believe in that. We do like to say that we are cell mates, 25 years and no chance of parole.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I have never said this.
My wive has never said this.

However we do believe it to some extent. Not because of some mystical connection or cosmic force, but because each of us has consciously chosen to be fully committed to our union. First and foremost, keep the marriage strong. Beyond that, everything will fall into place.

It may be that any two people who make such a commitment to each other ant to their union are "made for each other."


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I've both been told this and said this, at least something similar. 

I half assed browsed a dating site I wasnt signed up on, and accidently found someone I knew briefly many years back. I had always had a little crush on him so rather than sign up for the site, I went to Facebook, found him and friended him. We met up and it was instant love for me. He later told me that with our first hug, he felt like he was finally where he was supposed to be. We were together a few short months then he broke up with me. We both had separate, life changing events happen on the same night a few days after we split, and have ended up being best friends, and have been a constant for close to 3 years now. Keep in mind I am still in love... he isnt. I am still convinced that God or the universe or something brought us together and we are supposed to work out... we were both the "good" half of some really messed up, toxic relationships and I feel we were brought together to finally be the good for each other. I realize this sounds really stupid, and must be wrong, because he still isnt in love with me. If he is, he sure can keep it buried well. 

Yep, I'm a moron.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

My husband has always said we are soulmates.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

I've heard this line many many times... Most of them, it was just some dude trying to get laid. When my husband says it, though, I almost believe him.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

LostinMO said:


> We were made for eachother and/or we were meant to be together?
> 
> I have been told this. I know some others on here have because they have mentioned this in their posts. Is it just a "feel good" thing to say in the moment? IF it was true then, wouldn't it still be true now? Many of us are no longer with the person that said these words to us.
> 
> Thoughts?


Myself and husband have said such things many times.. we felt it in our youth.. we still feel it today, 30 + yrs later... We're just 2 peas in a pod.. we have our differences but they seem to compliment each other more than anything else.. after all these years... I'd still rather hang with him over anyone else.. like @jld 's husband.. mine's also always called me his "soulmate"...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Myself and husband have said such things many times.. we felt it in our youth.. we still feel it today, 30 + yrs later... *We're just 2 peas in a pod.. *we have our differences but they seem to compliment each other more than anything else.. after all these years... I'd still rather hang with him over anyone else.. like @jld 's husband.. mine's also always called me his "soulmate"...


People have called us that, too.

I don't think I could be in a high maintenance marriage.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CharlieParker said:


> This borders on soul mate idea. We don't believe in that. *We do like to say that we are cell mates, 25 years and no chance of parole*.


This is pretty funny..







... I am going to throw this one on my husband the next time we have a fight... we can be very mushy, no doubt & I'd never change it for the world... but we joke around a lot too...I like this!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Andy1001 said:


> My parents were married for forty four years they died when I was twenty seven and I honestly can't remember them ever spending a night apart.My brother is married over thirty years and he told me a few weeks ago that it is over twenty years since him and his wife spent a night without each other and that was because of bad weather.
> Some people just gel and it sounds as corny as hell* but two can become one*.
> On a side note both my parents died on the same day so hopefully they are still together somewhere.


Dying together would be such a blessing for couples this close...My father & Step Mother are like this too...he's got a diagnosis that could turn into cancer in the future.. she will be so lost without my dad...She teared up on me in the past telling me she could never love another like that ...

Your mentioning the "2 becoming one".. this reference , when I hear it, it's always brought a warm feeling to me, how I look upon my husband / marriage, how it's meant to be... some cringe with that saying, or want to throw it out ...I've always been more "inspired" by it.


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