# Husband roving eye on ALL potential females



## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

My husband has a roving eye for potential females and this holiday we went with his sister, brother in-law, 7 year old nephew and 13 year old niece to a summer holiday where I noticed he decided to regard his 13 year old niece as this occasion's flirt object.

I immediately noticed his positively changed behaviour toward his niece, as in previous years he made both the niece and nephew cry for calling them annoying. His behaviour towards his brother-in law changed also positively because in previous year that brother in law was just the stingy old twat to be ignored. I decided to wait and see if my findings were justified. Unfortunately they were. He gave her the most attention and she was happy about this acknowledgment because she normally is being ignored, especially when the pretty daughter of my husband is around. 

First night, we were sitting in the balcony and the two kids were playing in their rooms. My husband suddenly asked where is X (his niece)? We looked wondering at him why he would ask. He made up some silly excuse.

Another night, we all were playing Uno. His niece was sitting further away from him but he was all about her game and while she was complaining to her dad about not getting any help during the game, my husband in whispered to her, like one would do a potential flirt, that he cannot help her from where he sits. 

First 2 days, my husband who doesnt like swimming would not get out of the swimming pool, obviously with his niece so that even her father would make a joke about. The moment X and I go to the pool you are around, he would say.

I began getting convinced that something I would never dream of would happen. His niece would enjoy my husbands attention, and seemed to be reiterating this attention, she certainly is not used to it. She would sit legs apart in front of him, while my husband would try to hide his erections. 

At the same time my husband would be mirroring the behaviour of his niece. Like complaining about the salty water, ordering what she orders- although he HATES salad, and trying to appear like a boy by drinking coke. He would suggest plans that would involve her wishes like she wanted to the rooftop to see the moon and he would suggest similar activities. In previous years my husband would not even want to join family trips and would volunteer to stay home, while I was taking his family out. When I asked him, what we both, him and I should do one evening, he would protest and tell we do what EVERYONE wants to do. He meant to say what his niece wants to do.



I also recall him saying BEFORE the holiday that he wants some time off from that family and go out drinking with his older brother. He forgot all about his plans...

I finally confronted him and he passionately denied such disgusting ideas. I still was hoping this isnt serious when one night we were all sitting in the balcony and got up to see a shooting star. At that moment I turned around and saw my husband bowing down to peek through the knickers of his 13 year old niece with a smile in his face. The next second he got up to look around if he was caught. I think he thought he was not caught until I confronted him. He still cannot explain why this happened.

Our night and days became nightmares, the 50 year old uncle trying to avoid the 13 year old child and the child in her naivity thinking I wont understand her chasing her uncle's attention - God knows what for? 

My husband scared now talking to his niece for too long tried to avoid her and one evening when we were sitting together again with crisps and chips, my husband thought i wont see it when he nibbles seducively his crisps in front of her. When confronted his cheeks turned red for a second and then strict denial and then blaming my sick mind.

The niece became more and more encouraged by my husband's secret glances, when he thought i cant see him and a distant insest perverted affair was beginning. Hindered by my controlling. 



At the pool he wanted me to put oil on his back and said; would you like to get your hands oily- and he looked into her eyes while he said this. 



While playing a game in the balcony, when my husband thought nobody is looking, he would turn to her to give her deep look into the eyes and then turn to the game.



Never ending issues like this.. for about 7 days.



The last night, I became more relaxed since my husband was forcing himself to show good will and we were all sitting in the balcony at night. My husband said he is going to get a drink and went to the kitchen. A few second after he got up his niece rushed after him for a drink. We all wondered as it looked VERY suspicious. Her father was staring at kitchens direction and the whole getting drinks thing took a while until the niece screamed and yelled why do you turn the light off? My husband came with his glass of water wiping his face and tried to look normal.



When he saw my face he said lets go see something else. In the bedroom I said I am tired lets go to bed, meaning the evening for me is done and hence for him, he wants to stay with me. He hated me every moment I took him away from this kid.



Next day was time to say goodbye, my husband knew Ill be observing them, niece didnt really because I acted calm, was chasing him everywhere. But as my husband knew I was watching them he could only give her a desperate goodbye look and walk away, leaving her with her sad looks.



Back at home, I stopped being calm and became a wrack, all he could do was sitting like a depressed school boy because he was love sick... that wrinkly old man. The nieces family are crooks and despite that he tries to be on their good site and refuses me to say anything bad about his niece. He says you can say anything about anyone except me and my niece.



what do you think?


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

Unfortunately this is what I observed and my observations are strictly denied by my husband. The girl who looks like 16 was welcoming.


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## faithfulspouse (Jul 28, 2012)

lisabella said:


> Unfortunately this is what I observed and my observations are strictly denied by my husband. The girl who looks like 16 was welcoming.


Do not blame his niece she is just a child and this is not the start of an affair, to be an affair it must involve consenting adults, this does not.

It is irrelevant that she is flirting and enjoying the attention, she is a child. It is irrelevant if she looks 16, he knows she is 13.

He is a paedophile and you should be calling the police and telling them about him peering down the pants of a child.

Call the police and start D.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

You don't understand I have NO proof! Husband STRICTLY denies it and child seemed welcoming. We live in different countries so they wont be seeing each other again for at least a year- if ever. We fell apart with her family due to financial reasons.

I just dont know how to handle this situation.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

I also would like to add that before this I never detected any perversion of this kind rather than his flirting (eye contact, jokes etc) with adult women. He denies ALL or calls it messing about.


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## faithfulspouse (Jul 28, 2012)

lisabella said:


> You don't understand I have NO proof! Husband STRICTLY denies it and child seemed welcoming. We live in different countries so they wont be seeing each other again for at least a year- if ever. We fell apart with her family due to financial reasons.
> 
> I just dont know how to handle this situation.


You said you turned and saw him trying to peek down her knickers so You do have proof, you saw with your own eyes!. Call the police, let them investigate and protect this child from being groomed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

yes, i saw that with my own eyes but if ALL deny? Many thanks for your advice.


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## faithfulspouse (Jul 28, 2012)

lisabella said:


> yes, i saw that with my own eyes but if ALL deny? Many thanks for your advice.


If all deny then it is in the open and you can be sure her family will not leave her alone with him again and you've done the right thing.

As for her welcoming the attention, so what, she is still a child. If she were 5 and welcomed it would that have any kind of justification?, no it wouldn't and it's the same here.

It's him not her, what if his daughter starts to display some sexual behaviours, is she next? 

Call the police.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

it's not a justification, im just trying to say that i would not have ANY support if I complain officially without the proof besides my own eyes. I did not leave him alone for a second there and I will keep an eye on him. THEY won't get together anyway for a long while.

This did not happen with him before and no, I don't believe the daughter is perverted..100% not..


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Insulting the OP, and accusations of trolling are violations of the forum rules. Report the post or contact a moderator if you doubt the validity of the post or member, but unproven negative accusations in the form of personal attacks are not necessary to address the doubts about the legitimacy of a post.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

OP - what do you want? You stated that your H had erections over his 13 yr old niece. Does, or has, he shown interest in young girls before? I would imagine, if he targets young girls, it wouldn't have started with his niece.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

as stated above there was NO such action before but always a roving eye for potential females.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

What do you want? You say you won't see them again for another year.. do you think he's capable of seeking out another young girl if he's suddenly developed a thing for young girls?

As for the niece, the next time y'all are together and you notice he has an erection with his niece near him, I'd bring it to another adults attention.. embarrass him. I dont know, that's just what I might do to my H.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

no, he was not encouraging this feeling (probably too scared of me being aware) but she was provoking him. 

there will be no next year for sure but i'm devasted about the extremity of his perversion. at the same time he is soo denying it that i just dont know how to handle HİM.. thanks for your advice.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

lisabella said:


> no, he was not encouraging this feeling (probably too scared of me being aware) but she was provoking him.
> 
> there will be no next year for sure but i'm devasted about the extremity of his perversion. at the same time he is soo denying it that i just dont know how to handle HM.. thanks for your advice.


She's 13.. she's a child. She was not provoking anything. Your H is the adult pervert. Put the blame where it belongs... On the ADULT.


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## dwaynewilliams (Feb 1, 2010)

If you truly believe that your husband is physically attracted to a 13 year old girl and flirts with her in front of you, then your husband has a huge problem that the two of you have to address. You should seek professional help for him. I wouldn't call the police though. Any man that has eyes for girls that young has an illness and illnesses should be treated, not punished. But I would suggest that you get some help immediately, before he does something that you will not forgive. Hope this helps. Good luck.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

OK but I can't stand them both.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

dwaynewilliams said:


> If you truly believe that your husband is physically attracted to a 13 year old girl and flirts with her in front of you, then your husband has a huge problem that the two of you have to address. You should seek professional help for him. I wouldn't call the police though. Any man that has eyes for girls that young has an illness and illnesses should be treated, not punished. But I would suggest that you get some help immediately, before he does something that you will not forgive. Hope this helps. Good luck.


I SAW my husband was physically attracted (!) to his 13 year old niece and God knows what would happened if I would not interfered. He wants me to seek treatment for my paranoia.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Your niece is not a "potential female". If he has sexual thoughts and is flirting with her, this is crossing the line as a pedophile. She is under the age of 18. Furthermore, she is a relative and this would be incest. 

His behavior is absolutely disgusting if he truly is flirting with his 13 year old niece. 

If he truly is flirting with her and made any moves, I'd be calling the police. Also, I would be in a hurry to file for divorce and be extremely leery of my own children.

As stated above, this is not the 13 year olds fault in any way. At 13, she is way too young to know what's going on. 

Also, if I were you, I'd be researching your husbands computer usage and find out what he's up to. Go through the history, emails, facebook, chat logs, ect.. Anything you can to find out if he's hiding something. Look though his cell phone texts and records. Secretly put a VAR under the seat of his car to record his phone calls while driving. See if you can come up with anything. If you can, put a keylogger on his computer and you will see if he is doing inappropriate behavior online. 

I think you need more evidence. Search though everything! If he finds out your looking, he will hide any evidence deeper where you can't find it. Don't confront unless you have solid proof in your hands. If he's acting on a 13 year old like this, there must be more going on. Good luck.


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## dwaynewilliams (Feb 1, 2010)

lisabella said:


> I SAW my husband was physically attracted (!) to his 13 year old niece and God knows what would happened if I would not interfered. He wants me to seek treatment for my paranoia.


Maybe an intervention?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

lisabella said:


> I SAW my husband was physically attracted (!) to his 13 year old niece and God knows what would happened if I would not interfered. He wants me to seek treatment for my paranoia.


Okay.. I think this is what they call blameshifting in the world of infidelity. 

You haven't explained what you want. It's apparent you want him to admit this, he won't do that because you have no solid evidence. But what will you do with that information if he did admit it? Divorce, shame... what will happen? You know what you saw. Do you question your recollection of the events, are you 100% it was what you think it was? So what difference would it make if he admits it?

If you're 100% that you know he's attracted to his niece, what do you want to happen?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

lisabella said:


> OK but I can't stand them both.


The 13 year old is your niece! She is your family by blood. It's not her fault. This is all on your husband.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> The 13 year old is your niece! She is your family by blood. It's not her fault. This is all on your husband.


it's his sister's daugher, HIS niece! Can it get more disgusting?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

lisabella said:


> it's his sister's daugher, HIS niece! Can it get more disgusting?


Yes, it can actually


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

Cherry said:


> Okay.. I think this is what they call blameshifting in the world of infidelity.
> 
> You haven't explained what you want. It's apparent you want him to admit this, he won't do that because you have no solid evidence. But what will you do with that information if he did admit it? Divorce, shame... what will happen? You know what you saw. Do you question your recollection of the events, are you 100% it was what you think it was? So what difference would it make if he admits it?
> 
> If you're 100% that you know he's attracted to his niece, what do you want to happen?


yes shamelessly blameshifting. my husband comes from a different standard background and he seems to have this thing about 'messing about' which means to him nothing serious. 


- I saw him perving
- He strictly denying 
- Me unsure although my mind tells me to divorce him immediately, my heart says he is trying to demonstrate good will by avoiding her. 

my question: is that good will due to fear of me?

Thanks for your help.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Your niece is not a "potential female". If he has sexual thoughts and is flirting with her, this is crossing the line as a pedophile. She is under the age of 18. Furthermore, she is a relative and this would be incest.
> 
> His behavior is absolutely disgusting if he truly is flirting with his 13 year old niece.
> 
> ...


He isn't working and I seem to have to have access to all his mails etc (he also has access to mine). Nothing alarming indeed. Not even adult sites etc..


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lisabella said:


> He isn't working and I seem to have to have access to all his mails etc (he also has access to mine). Nothing alarming indeed. Not even adult sites etc..


If he has a 13-year-old child to perv and drool over, why would he need porn sites? Unless he has hidden them well?:scratchhead:


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

MattMatt, this was a first time ever thing, he usually perves at adult females.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

lisabella said:


> MattMatt, this was a first time ever thing, he usually perves at adult females.


This alone would be enough for me.

I need my husband to focus on me, not every female that walks by. Your husband is showing red flags as someone who cheats. My ex h looked at every adult woman that walked by. He treated them much better then he did me. Sure enough he's a serial cheater. It wasn't long before I had solid proof. I wish I would of left sooner then I did. By the way he treated me alone was enough for a divorce. 

When I remarried, I chose much more wisely. My current husband has eyes only for me. Not once has he glanced at another women while we are out together.

Flirting with a child is very wrong. I'd be packing up my bags today if this would of happened to me. If I had any children, I'd be keeping them safe. If he's willing to go after his blood related niece, I would imagine the possibility that he might be attempted with his own children. I'm not saying he will, I would fear it.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> This alone would be enough for me.
> 
> I need my husband to focus on me, not every female that walks by. Your husband is showing red flags as someone who cheats. My ex h looked at every adult woman that walked by. He treated them much better then he did me. Sure enough he's a serial cheater. It wasn't long before I had solid proof. I wish I would of left sooner then I did. By the way he treated me alone was enough for a divorce.
> 
> ...


Your ex-husband sounds like my current husband. May I ask if he was nice and caring to you in other ways? My husband hasn't got many opps to cheat as he is not working. I don't believe he is developing a new perversion (one can never know though!!) but his interest and attention are always for OTHER females - especially the less attractive ones, since they are perving back.

During our previous holiday, we were on the beach and he perved at a woman with partner, the partner looked offended and I was glad to go back to the hotel, just to find out that couple is staying at the same hotel. The whole evening at dinner the other couple's female and my husband would try to glance each other. I spent the other nights OUTSIDE that hotel.

The above is a typical day or event out with my husband.

So happy for you, you have the husband now you deserve


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Forget about the age issue if the girl looks older (sick and extra sick because it's a niece). The real issue is that the guy isn't respecting you. Openly flirting with women right in front of you. You really need to put a dent on him.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Forget about the age issue if the girl looks older (sick and extra sick because it's a niece). The real issue is that the guy isn't respecting you. Openly flirting with women right in front of you. You really need to put a dent on him.


Not openly, but it always becomes obvious because of the reactions of his victims or their partners.

Can you tell me why it is disrespectful- I guess I need to know all truth as motivation.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

lisabella said:


> Not openly, but it always becomes obvious because of the reactions of his victims or their partners.
> 
> Can you tell me why it is disrespectful- I guess I need to know all truth as motivation.


Lisabella... A man that respects his partner will still look at other women. Make no mistake about it. All men like to look at good looking women. But to do it in a way that other people realize in the way you are describing, even with other women's partners being able to spot it just means he feels no need to take care. 

Honestly, it seems that he knows you won't raise hell over it. It's even a way to inferiorize you. You should not put up with it. 


I'm also kinda surprised your husband didn't get knee deep in sh*t when those other men caught him doing this. One word of advice, don't travel through the southern part of Europe unless you need an excuse to have your husband get facial reconstruction plastic surgery.


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## lisabella (Aug 17, 2012)

hahahaha that is EXACTLY what I'm praying for!!! It happened more than 3 times that a male partner was ready to have his go at him!!!

but my professional husband seems to know when to divert his looks.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

lisabella said:


> Your ex-husband sounds like my current husband. May I ask if he was nice and caring to you in other ways? My husband hasn't got many opps to cheat as he is not working. I don't believe he is developing a new perversion (one can never know though!!) but his interest and attention are always for OTHER females - especially the less attractive ones, since they are perving back.
> 
> During our previous holiday, we were on the beach and he perved at a woman with partner, the partner looked offended and I was glad to go back to the hotel, just to find out that couple is staying at the same hotel. The whole evening at dinner the other couple's female and my husband would try to glance each other. I spent the other nights OUTSIDE that hotel.
> 
> ...


My ex h is like your ex in this sense. He has done things I would never reveal in public. My ex never treated me with any respect ever. He was never "nice" to me in any way. I left after 2 years of trying to help him change his behavior. It never helped and he's much worse today then 18/19 years ago.


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