# Too Soon?



## thisSux (Jan 8, 2013)

so i split with my x at christmas, been living in a loveless sexless marriage for 2 years, recently i've been spending a lot of time talking to and with a friend who also split from her husband last year and we got close and now we've crossed the line and gone to bed, we are close and both want to see where this goes...too soon?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

There is not enough knowledge about the two if you to offer any reasonable opinion. In general rebound romances are often more difficult to sustain but only the two of you can decide what to do.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah it really depends

You both have baggage still you need to resolve that I don't think either of you have fully processed yet.

For instance, what if your wife came to you and told you how bad she messed up and discovered that her hormones were all out of whack and that since she's been getting treatment, she's so horney she wants you know and at least 2x a day. What would you do?


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

At the very least you should have been up front about seeing other people before you are divorced. 

I did (WAW) and I am enjoying my new relationship with a clean conscience.

Truth is something we owe to everyone.


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## thisSux (Jan 8, 2013)

Stretch thankyou that's probably the best advice I could have, though the truth is not an easy thing to share sometimes, I am concerned that I will cause x a lot of pain, but I also need to look at me in this and i guess that's my biggest concern,will she see it as too soon as sleep


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

The thing about the truth is usually the more you tell it the easier it is to tell.

Good luck these are confusing times for all of us.

Stretch


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

Stretch said:


> At the very least you should have been up front about seeing other people before you are divorced.
> 
> I did (WAW) and I am enjoying my new relationship with a clean conscience.
> 
> Truth is something we owe to everyone.


Well, from the other side (BH, my WAW jumped into relationship with someone who was waiting in the wings as soon as she said "I want a divorce" and tried to keep it secret) - the secrecy was as bad as the haste with which she moved on. Truly toxic.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

WOW.. I'm 9 months into a split and I couldn't imagine kissing let alone having sex with someone else.

Maybe 'cause i see sex as a bonding thing...not a recreational thing.


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## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

I split with my STBXW right at Christmas also. I have decided not to try to date until my divorce is final. I do not feel like it is fair to another woman to deal with my divorce. I think it is fine to move on have friends and a life but I do not think I could handle anything more serious.


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## thisSux (Jan 8, 2013)

I don't think either of us is looking for anything that is serious, but I do think that over the last few years we've both been starved of intamacy in our lives and the other night we discovered some with each other, i'm not really concerned about how myself and my friend cope, we're big enough and ugly enough to deal with all that. my main concern is how it effects the stbxw and kids


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

As everybody can see we all stick our toes in the dating/relationship water at different points in our path. I think everyone here respects our choices, is not judgemental and it is encouraging that we have learned to know ourselves enough to know what is right for us.

Subconciously, when you decide to search for love again, you have to acknowledge that your marriage is most likely over. That is a very hard truth that most of us will have to accept.

IMHO, I think our common thread is that we believe that we can love and be loved again. The timing will take care of itself.

I have said it before, the self reflection and honest change will make any of our future partners the recipients of amazingly loving people that our Ex's could have experienced, but too bad for them.

Old love was good, new love will be GREAT,
Stretch


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## thisSux (Jan 8, 2013)

wise words stretch and its so nice to be able to air my thoughts and questions in a non judgemental place, yes i have conceded my marriage is over but in reality i knew that 12 months before i left, i quit my relationship in 2011 maybe that's part of the reason i feel ok to move on


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