# in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of text



## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of text*

ok so i dont even know how to start this but here it goes. my dad died when i was 2 so i never knew him. my mom has had 2 boyfriends before but never any with kids. his dad & my mom were together for about 2 before they got married ( lasted only 6 months ). ok so after our parents 1st got together i was 14 & he was 20 so it was awkward for us both he had his own place so he never lived with us or anything but he would hang out with his dad alot because they were trying to get their relationship back on track ( long story here lets just say he made some bad decisions growing up). so at 1st we barely spoke at all eventually id ask for a ride to school or to the mall & we just got closer & closer as time went on. it just seemed like he was more of a friend than family really. i always found it easy to talk to him especially about stuff i couldnt tell my mom about & much to my suprise he actually gave good advice about things seeing as how he knew from experience & didnt want me to make the same mistakes. in all honesty i think this is when it started ( towards the end of 9th grade) i just couldnt stop thinking about him. he was always incredibly sexy with a great body & he was a , bad boy , as people refer to it. iv seen how guys like that treat girls & i hate it yet he was different.... i just couldnt get him out of my mind. i thought it was a crush or just infatuation at 1st but no. months passed & all i could think about was him. id say about the middle of my sophomore year is when i seen him with a girl. now i knew he was a ,player, but i had never seen him with a girl that wasn't his friend before. just seeing them hanging out felt like my heart dropped into my stomach & i could barely breath. i cried for 3 days straight & never left my room. of course he tryd to talk to me but what could i tell him? ithe person i could tell anything to caused this without even knowing. my mom eventually talked some of it out of me but not the whole truth. made me feel better for the time being that was until they announced the engagement. knowing the way i felt & thinking of him being my brother made me feel sick & knowing that i couldnt stop feeling this way made me feel even sicker. knowing that he was out hooking up with women while i was stuck being his sister made me almost hate him for what he was putting me through. & the way i felt betrayed by my mom for causing it. up until now i was always pretty happy cheerful sarcastic etc etc just happy little preppy girl never had a problem in my life. after they got married i changed. i grew distant from my mom & him & i was never particularly close to his dad & all i had were a few friends from school ( 2 real friends in hindsight ) . i even got asked out by an old crush of mine that happened to be extremely popular & on the football team which was actually a big deal considering i was popular i just wasnt , go out with popular , because i wouldn't hook up or anything. hell the date we went on was the 1st time iv ever even kissed a guy! i felt absolutely nothing from it but awkwardness when he tried to stick his tongue in. i pushed him away as if i was doing something wrong & my , brother , would be upset about. the guy in front of me was cute, popular, sweet, & probably 50 other great things but i didnt care because all i could think about was him. well i broke it off with mr popular aftet that & lost a few friends at school for it to but i didnt care by this point. so some time passes & things settle in. im still bitter & resentful but one day my mom sits me down & tells me theyr getting divorced. later that night there was a huge argument. he came by a little while after & i was scared i wouldn't see him again. he reassred me i would & i hugged him for what had to be an hour at least lol it was like a weight was lifted from my body. my mom has always liked him & is well aware how he used to be but she loved him nonetheless & i think then she knew i did to. his dad was mad that he stayed close to us & turned an already rocky relationship into nothing. things were getting back to normal & even going well until the 3rd day of junior year. my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. this absolutely devastated me & tore my world apart. by the time they caught it it was to late to treat it to remission. the next 8 months i wont go into as its nothing but misery. well towards the end my mom asked if would rather live with him instead of my aunt ( she is a terrible despicable person that would take to long to explain ). of course i agreed & she asked if i loved him. i told her everything & she already knew. well il be brief here as its painful to talk about. my mom passed away several months ago & i ha to stay with my aunt for a month as she was disputing my mothers decision & my inheritance. he went to court several times to allow me to live with him & my inheritance is mine. i don't know all the specifics of the court rulings & the hows & whys i just know it ended with him having custody of me until im 18 (( in december ) . he said i can stay as long as i want no strings attached. iv been living with him now for about 3 months & things have finally set in as reality. im in my senior year of highschool & hes got a full time job planning on going to a community college. i know it costs alot to have me here & he doesn't even seem to care. i look back at the whole thing with my mom dying & the court like a blur but now i find myself exactly where i want to be...... with a catch. its because of him that im able to smile again its because of him that i even bother to wake up. he saved my life. just imagining us together is all i want. seeing how he is now compared to back then it makes me feel amazing knowing i helped him turn his life around. even his friends joke about us being together by saying im like his wife or something. its to much to take its so bad now i cant even sleep at night sometimes & i find myself just walking by his room & looking in just hoping hell see me. i cant take it anymore. i get anxious just thinking about it like ill do something i cant control. im sorry if this post is a mess & to long & im sorry if this is the wrong forum for this but i desperately need help. iol wow got kinda crazy towards the end here  . any advice is welcome. if you want more details just ask


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

wow, he isn't exactly related to you, so I don't see a problem with it. Does he have any clue as to how you feel?


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

tonyarz said:


> wow, he isn't exactly related to you, so I don't see a problem with it.


He's married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

He is divorced. She said that.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Her mom got divorced. Edit: or maybe I'm wrong. The way she writes is confusing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

I don't think you read the article. It says her mom sat her down and told her that her step brother and his wife were getting a divorce.


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Naw, I'm pretty sure her mother and husband (step father) got divorced after a 6 month marriage. Then her mother passed away. She's in love with her deceased moms ex husbands son, who has his own place, and with whom she is currently living with, but he's dating some one else. That's my take. Make sense?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

OP, so what's the deal with this man you're in love with? Is he dating some one else? Have you told him you're in love with him? What's the hang up? He's no longer your step brother so I don't think you should worry about that.

FWIW, I'm very sorry about the loss of your mother to cancer. You must be in a very vulnerable state right now. For what its worth, I lost my mother to cancer when I was six and I just lost my father last year to cancer as well so I can certainly empathize. Take your time and allow yourself to grieve.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

I don't know..... I'm thinking this guy just sees you as his little-not-really-sister and has taken you under his wing. You were 14 when he met you and even though you are older now he may just still see you as that 14 year old girl. You have been through quite a bit and you are very vulnerable. And it is not uncommon for someone in their teens to gravitate toward someone who has taken care of them. We see it all the time when it comes to students/teachers, patients/doctors, etc. In a way this man has become your knight in shining armor and that is a powerful force when it comes to falling for someone. Unfortanately, that doesn't always mean the feelings are recipocated.


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok the 1st post was late wreck ill admit lol. allow me to clarify what i said. my mom & his dad got divorced so we aren't legally related anymore. he has never been married & has never had a serious girlfriend & he is currently single. @VISERAL yeah you got it right mostly. i have told him i love him but i never told him exactly how i meant it lol. just after all we have been through if i just suddenly told him & he doesn't feel the same i don't know what i would do. & i am so sorry to hear that about your father. great advice by the way  @IRISHGIRLVA im actually worried about him seeing me as just some kid or just a sister to. i was in love with him long before he did any of this for me though. just now its worse lol. so i guess my question is do yo you think i should even bother trying to act on these feelings?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Hmmm, is it wrong for me to suggest to a teenage girl how to handle this situation?

One thing to remember, men have always ruled the world, but women have always ruled men. Why don't you use some of your girl power to lure this guy in? Perhaps a low cut dress or a high cut skirt? Definitely noticeable yet subtle. That way you can deny your little scheme if necessary. Perhaps a well timed meal when he comes home from work? Or a little combo of the two. There are multiple ways to a mans heart. 

Master the art of your femininity and this guy will be like putty in your hands. If he's a true red blooded man he's not going to be able to resist the honey trap you set for him. Test the waters. You'll know soon enough where this guy stands.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Look... if you're only 17 (OK, almost 18), this is probably you're first crush/love. You can tell him if you want but I'm sure he sees you more like a sister than a girlfriend and you have to prepare yourself for that.

There are plenty of guys out there... give it time.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Were you on Dr. Phil last week?


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

lmfao no i was never on dr phil ( omg is this really that bad? lol ). @VISERAL well i know he looks when i wear stuff especially when its just us & im wearing just shorts & a tank lol. i actually cook for him alot & he loves it. he always compliments me saying i look beautiful so i know he sees the way i kind of show myself to him.we even kinda flirt sometimes but. in my personal opinion i think he is attracted to me but that may just be my wishful thinking lol. i don't want to just seduce him ( well i do lol ) i want to be with him after to you know?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Ok, you're one step ahead of me. So, you've already put the bait in the water and you know he's circling and trying to decide if he wants to take a bite. What you need to do next is make him feel safe. You're young and he 1) probably thinks you're jail bait, 2) may feel a little uneasy about the fact that you're his ex step sister, and 3) if he's a good guy, may not want to take advantage of you after witnessing you lose your mother.

He may be worried that if he pursues you that he'll either end up in jail or you'll reject him and call him a freak for hitting on his sister. Try to drop a few hints about you turning 18 and will technically be an adult soon, and about how you don't think of him as your brother.

A few words of caution: work on building your own self awareness and understand that you're in a very vulnerable place right now. Don't look to him to rescue you, look to him to complement you.

Also, resist sleeping with him for as long as possible. In the dating game, eggs are valuable and sperm is cheap. If you give it away too soon he'll think you're cheap. Hook him with your femininity, then make him work for it. This may be difficult since you're so in love and he's older and more experienced than you. But there is nothing more powerful than a woman who knows how to handle herself.

Also, don't be too needy and don't always try to make him happy. Mix it up a little. Remember, desperation is the kiss of death. 

Good luck!


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

lol well his friends tease us all the time & it was brought up that 16 is the age of consent here ( although jokingly ) so i don't think thats it. he is a great guy though so i know he wouldnt want to feel like he was pressuring me into something. that is something i will definitely start doing lol. we never even refer to eachother as brother or sister though so it shouldnt be to hard lol. i get what your saying but its impossible to not feel that way about him lol. its not the fact that he did save me that i feel this way i loved him long before now but just knowing he did & would do something like this without even a second thought is 1 of the reasons i do love him. lol & as for hooking him with my feminism well i wouldnt even know where to begin lol. you seem to know what your talking about ( & the only person replying anymore lol ). please enlighten me lol


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Seriously, you're 17. We've all been there. You will get over it eventually
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

I think this is more infatuation than love.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Do you go on dates together? Movies, hanging out with friends etc.


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

well i have felt this way for years so its not infatuation. well we don't refer to them as dates but yeah we go to the movies sometimes or out to eat just the two of us. we hang out with friends alot to ( mostly his friends as mine live relatively far away now ).


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Sounds like you got this cat in the bag. At some point you're gonna have to take a risk. Without risk there is no reward. Find the right time then make an attempt to seduce him.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

This really isn't that hard. I mean, you're a 17 year old hottie and he's a 23 year old male. I thought all you young ladies were given a manual or something on teasing men. You know what to do. So just do it. It's not like he'll be able to resist or anything. Just be prepared for the consequences, because your relationship will never ever be the same afterwords.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

My concern is that this is the only support you have in life. So what if you do hook up and it doesn't work out? Then where will you be? Seriously I would wait until you have a plan for after high school. Are you going to college? 
Also it does sound like he is interested. He might not know if it's a good idea because of your age and the situation. You are already living together so it would be an instant serious relationship which is a lot to take on when your mom just died and you are so young. 
Can you use some of your inheritance to get counseling for yourself? 
I feel like you are looking for support since you feel alone. That doesn't mean that you don't love him. It means you are vulnerable and whether or not he wants a future with you, your future plans should be more than just about him: your education, career, planning how to best use your inheritance. 
God I'm old.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

yes i do have plans to go to ohio state with my inheritance when i finally get it ( potentially a scholarship but not counting on it now ). it is a pretty sizeable sum of money so i could go to school & get a car. he says i can stay as long as i want for free ( although im going to pay him back ) so i do have a plan for the future for just me but i would rather it be with him lol. thats the thing though we know everything about eachothers lives & and live together so its somewhat like a serious relationship only that we aren't together lol. thats the thing though if everything was just like it was now if only i could kiss him in the morning before we leave & hold him when i go to sleep my life would be perfect. exactly why im hesitant i don't want to ruin us by trying something & him not wanting to.i honestly believe he is attracted to me but at the same time i know he knows how to get with women so why hasnt he with me? its always in the back of my mind. well i have come to the conclusion that i will have to do something be it seducing ( or attempting to anyway lol ) or just flat out telling him. tomorrow night some friends are coming over so there will probably be drinks. he rarely drinks but he will probably have a few tomorrow so do you think i should do it then or do it when sober? @diwali123 hey you may be old but you give great advice  . @ VISERAL you seem to be an expert at this lol. i mean i know how to flirt but seduction is new to me . it probably doesn't help how nervous id be even trying lol


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## millers4691 (Sep 21, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

It's not wrong to have love for one another,rather it's how you/they maintain a sociably moral relationship.
Some of society thinks that family loving family is wrong, but I would hate to live in a family that has no love for one another.

_________________________________________________
Ex Back Experts: How to Get Your Ex Back Guide


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

I say don't change the relationship 


for a few reasons


1) You're 17, your brain has not fully developed yet. While the core of your personality is there you will go through changes of ideology and desires. Most relationships that start at your age do not last.

2) You've built up a fantasy and the reality of a real relationship is much more difficult than what you think it will be.

3) Despite the fact that he is not blood related, he is family. Family can be with you forever and a great support system for life. Changing the dynamic will forever change this support system and if your relationship fails (which honestly is a good chance, sorry to say) you will lose that support. It's very sad that you have no real family other than him at this point, so why risk losing it over a crush?


Graduate, go to college, have fun and work hard and make something of yourself. Your whole adult life is ahead of you, I know right now it seems like all you want is him but I promise you that will change if you keep your eye on making your life a fruitful and productive one. 

I know I sound like an old man, and yes I am an old man comparatively to you. There's a reason why most of us who are older dish out what is perceived to be harder advice. We don't want you to make the same mistakes we did and want you to really shine all on your own.


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

I concur with some of the above concerns about the risks of moving forward on this, particularly the chance of the OP losing her support network during this vulnerable time etc. However, I don't think she has a choice. She's 17. We've all been there, it's impossible to stop the inevitable. So with that in mind, I think it's best to convey some good advice and help her to instill some healthy self-awareness before she trots down lovers lane.

Moon, I can't possibly capture the art of seduction in this post. I would just say it's a feeling that you have to go with. Set the stage and feel him out. Body language is everything. You'll know if it's right. When that moment comes, make your move.

Keep the alcohol down to reasonable levels. It'll put ya in the mood, but too much will ruin it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

OMG You are telling a 17 year old to drink?!!!!

WTF?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

and just because a teen will do something anyways doesn't make it a good idea to advise doing it

This girl (yes right now girl not woman) is in a vulnerable state after going through some bad times and has virtually no one in her life to guide and look after her. Drinking, seducing her step brother are all terrible suggestions.


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

One more thing, nothing is sexier than confidence!

Be sure to report back and let us know how it goes. I mean, you don't have to spill all the juice, just a little hint will do...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Viseral said:


> One more thing, nothing is sexier than confidence!
> 
> Be sure to report back and let us know how it goes. I mean, you don't have to spill all the juice, just a little hint will do...


and there we have it....


you want to live your fantasy of being seduced by a 17 year old girl vicariously


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> and just because a teen will do something anyways doesn't make it a good idea to advise doing it
> 
> This girl (yes right now girl not woman) is in a vulnerable state after going through some bad times and has virtually no one in her life to guide and look after her. Drinking, seducing her step brother are all terrible suggestions.


There comes a time when every bird fly's the coop. What'ya gonna do? Put barbed wire around the nest? Or teach her how to fly?

This particular one is already living with the one she loves. There's no putting this back in the box. So best to provide as much sound advice as possible....


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

the advice is far from sound

you know darn well that the chances of a romantic relationship becoming long term is pretty slim and advising a underage minor to drink is highly negligent and morally bankrupt of you to do


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Almostrecovered said:


> Despite the fact that he is not blood related, he is family. Family can be with you forever and a great support system for life. Changing the dynamic will forever change this support system and if your relationship fails (which honestly is a good chance, sorry to say) you will lose that support. It's very sad that you have no real family other than him at this point, so why risk losing it over a crush?
> 
> Graduate, go to college, have fun and work hard and make something of yourself. Your whole adult life is ahead of you, I know right now it seems like all you want is him but I promise you that will change if you keep your eye on making your life a fruitful and productive one.


:iagree:

I suggest you read more threads here on TAM. There is no such thing as happily ever after. IMO this is a bad idea to pursue this crush. If you move forward with this crush and it doesnt work out, are you willing to lose him as a family member? What would it be like without him in your life at all? Are you prepared for that to happen?


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## JoyfulHeart (Jun 12, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Both sides have good points (to pursue and not pursue).

I am 26, I have three boys and another on the way. Right now, my life is now what I want it to be, although I had to go through one terrible relationship 5 years ago. You see, when I turned 18, instead of focusing on my own life and where I wanted to be, I focused on a man. I moved from home to his place. My mom and dad were against it. My mom even gave me warnings about what I was doing. But of course, being 18 and now an adult I figured I knew everything. Ironic thing is, my mom was right the whole time. She saw what was coming.

No one can tell you what you want to do or not want to do. You will only hear what you want to hear. The advice I would give you, I only ask you read with an open mind and try to be objective about it. So first off, i am going to summarize what you have said

1. He has plans to go to college, you have plans to go to college(university). 

2. Your mother died, you had no legal guardian, aside from your aunt. This man went to court to get guardianship of you until you are 18, he won. You also got your inheritance.

3. If I understand, you began to develop feelings for him around 15 (just a guess).

4. You fear he only thinks of you as a sister and you want it to be more.

I think those are the jists.

*Option 1. Do not Purse him*
Okay, this one is probably the one you don't want to hear. But read it anyways with an open mind.

You are in your senior year of high school. You have plans for a future. If you get into a relationship with him, it will become more stressful to maintain. With you off to a different campus than he is, you will meet so many other people, not just the same sex either. You will come across other men. Now, I am not saying you would cheat, but are you sure you want to limit yourself right now without spreading your wings in the semi-real world?

To be in a relationship, limits yourself, who you are. You do not know what it would be like on campus and the people you meet. There is also another factor as mentioned by another poster. Your ideals and desires change, not maybe, they do. As you discover all the possibilities out there, not just in a relationship sense, your ideals, thoughts, priorities change. I do not know what you would want to study in, but consider that for a moment. I think it would be best to focus on what you want to complete for a career. If you get into a relationship with this man, your chances of having a baby while you are still on campus go up, and while I cannot testify to those stresses, from what I understand, it makes life difficult to raise a child, maintain a relationship, maintain good grades.

You really have to sit down and think what is really worth it to you. In today's time, education is important. And for most people, getting an education with less stress as possible is beneficial.

*Option 2. You pursue him*

Okay, so you just don't heed the advice to not pursue him, you love him and are adamant that it is not infatuation. Do you even know what love is? Love is not just an emotion. It is a combination of them.

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud
Love is not self-seeking
Love is not rude
Love is not easily angered
Love keeps no records of wrong
Love does not delight in evil, but it rejoices in the truth.
Love always protects, always hopes, always perseveres
Love never fails.

Your actions will speak of love, not the way you wear short skits and show off your skin. That is the world's view of love. Love is not what you see in the movies, or on TV. Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is *sacrifice*. Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself.  Love is selfless not selfish.

It seems you are self-seeking a relationship. This is not a true motive of love. You want to be in a relationship with him, he needs to pursue you, not you pursuing him. 
*
Option 3 - A Compromise*

This is a compromise to both sides. Sit him down. And basically tell it how it is. Tell him that you have feels for him, that it goes deeper than a simple "friend" love. That you wish to become involved with him and would like to spend your life with him.

Now a few things could happen. 

1. He could simply say that he has no interest and then that is that, at least you said your peace. Time for you to move on.

2. He tells you he feels the same and you guys hook up and all that relationship stuff.

3. He tells you that he has similar feelings, but doesn't want to destroy the friendship/closeness you two currently have. This is the one I want to speak about. This is the compromise option.

It never hurts to share how you feel. it is what you do thereafter that makes or break it. There is nothing wrong to say you both want to pursue a relationship. But if he is worried about losing what you guys currently have or even you have some doubts that if things fly south you don't want to destroy this as well. Then heed this compromise/advice:

Make a plan. You both want to go to college, then don't make your relationship a serious one. Also, don't sleep together. Keep it as it is, keep going out, hold hands if you want. But both of you need to be respectable and not pressure the other to become physical with you. At least, wait until one of you has completed school. Trust me, maintaining this type of relationship is hard, tough even, but this is where you see a person's true character and find out if they are really someone you want to be with. I am not going to lie. You are going to be tempted to sleep with him and he is for sure going to be tempted to get you there. You have to be strong and if you tell him that you do want to wait until a certain point, his character will be defined if he honors your wish or tries to tempt you.

In the end, and as stated, no one will tell you what to do or not do. All we can do is share the things we learned with the mistakes we made. We honestly don't want to see others hurt and go through things that we similarly went through. It is my hope that things work out for you, at the same time you are young and have LOTS to learn about life. And this next thing is the biggest thing in all this: *It is my fear that you pursue this and it falls apart and you loose the one person in this world who you trust and supports you. Are you prepared if this happens?*

Think long and hard about what it is you really want to do. Think objectively, think rationally. Put your emotions aside and really consider all possibilities, all outcomes, all scenarios and see if this is a risk you truly want to make now.

Hope all goes well. I hope you drop back and let us know how things are going.

Peace be with you.


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok im typing all this on a ps3 so i cant quote, do spaces or paragraphs right so this 1st post will be to almostrecovered & viseral & the second will be to joyfulheart. and please dont insult viseral like that as i have found her advice to be very sound and helpful. also i should note that i very rarely drink & when i do its only socially ( same as him ). yes i know im only 17 & i still have my whole life ahead of me but at the same time im not some naive little confused kid. i know how i feel & i know what i have to do in life & what i want from it. ill admit i have built something of fantasy around him but my reality is anything but. as great as it is being with him it hurts just as much knowing that im not really with hiim. i understand what you mean by holding off but waiting until after college? that just seems like to much. like viseral said about it not being able to go back in the box is exactly how i feel. it was bad before but now that we live together it is unbearable! lol and dont worry i will let you know what happens tonight. and for hunter411 i actually read quite a bit on here before i decided to post my situation. in fact the people on here and the advice they gave is what made me decide to finally talk about it and what i have seen from you guys so far is amazingly helpful ( although hard to hear ). im not so foolish to believe that if we did get together it would be happily ever after but really when is anything truly happily ever after?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

Frankly, you're 17. You're just beginning. Look at this as life experience, of which you should have a few. Dont get worked up yet.


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok joyfulheart your mostly right lol. he plans to finish college soon as he had to quit do to financial reasons and im sure im only worsening it with court costs, extra food, clothes etc etc. i do plan to go after i graduate but the university i would be going to is only a 20-30 minute drive so i can still live at home. as for the inheritance yes im sure to get it but my aunt is contesting it so it will take a while. and your right about 3 & 4. as for option 1 of not pursuing him i do understand exactly what you mean. i am well aware a relationship would be stressful but i feel i can handle it and i know he could. as for the meeting other people part im not worried about that at all. im around other guys almost every day & get hit on or asked out quite frequently by people my age & his age & i have never met anyone that makes me feel the way he does. as for my desires and ideals changing all i can say is they might but as of right now i don't think they will but i don't know what tomorrow will bring but i know i will still love him if they do. about the pregnant thing thats not an issue. he says he might want kids later in life & i do want to have one but not for a very long time. i know it may seem like im not taking your suggestions seriously but it has made me really think different about it but i cant stop loving him i just cant . if i could i would. as for option 2 pursuing him goes yes i know what love is to me. its not at all what you listed except for sacrifice. look at what he has sacrificed for me already. he changed his entire life just for me. he was only helping yet it kills me not knowing if its just because im like his sister or if its more. there are definitely reasons i believe its more but what if im wrong? is it selfish of me to want him to be with only me & vice versa? i have never negatively brought up his past lifestyle or mistakes ( of which there are many ). we are always kind to eachother & always patient if somethings wrong. love seems selfish to me by its very nature. it goes without saying i want him to be happy just i want it to be with me. which brings me to option 3 compromise. i really thought everything through & i believe this is best. i know he is attracted to physically at least so thats why i was so quick to think seduction was the way to go. sex would change things forever & i dont want to rush into it. i just dont think i can find the strength to flat out tell him how i feel. with sex it wouldv forced the issue but that could end with me losing him all together. ok its decided this is the way im going to proceed. phew this toik longer than i thought to type lol ( and he almost caught me ) .


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

nothing interesting really just had a few minutes before the party so i thought id jump on here. just going to relax tonight & take it easy try to take my mind of things. somewhat busy day tomorrow so i dont know when ill update


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok something huge happened ( huge in my opinion anyway lol ). dont have the time to post it yet though so i probably will tomorrow & potentially have a conclusion to all this!. dont know whos still following this but wish me luck & i truly thank you for all your replys and advice. you all have truly helped to put my mind at ease & i will be forever greatful. & also im sorry for referring to viseral as a her lol its just your name reminds me of somebody


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok this thread is dead so ill make this the last post. to make a long story short yes we are together now & there was no seduction lol.


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## pa_dc2 (Sep 20, 2012)

So no details on how it turned into "we are together now"?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Viseral said:


> OP, so what's the deal with this man you're in love with? Is he dating some one else? Have you told him you're in love with him? What's the hang up? He's no longer your step brother so I don't think you should worry about that.


Whoa here!!

He is not her step-brother, but he IS her legal guardian for the next three months.

I would recommend the OP not say anything until she is 18. That could get REALLY awkward.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Viseral said:


> Hmmm, is it wrong for me to suggest to a teenage girl how to handle this situation?
> 
> One thing to remember, men have always ruled the world, but women have always ruled men. Why don't you use some of your girl power to lure this guy in? Perhaps a low cut dress or a high cut skirt? Definitely noticeable yet subtle. That way you can deny your little scheme if necessary. Perhaps a well timed meal when he comes home from work? Or a little combo of the two. There are multiple ways to a mans heart.
> 
> Master the art of your femininity and this guy will be like putty in your hands. If he's a true red blooded man he's not going to be able to resist the honey trap you set for him. Test the waters. You'll know soon enough where this guy stands.


Oh FFS!:slap:

He is her legal guardian (read: she's a minor). She needs to wait - esp. for all that.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes said:


> ok this thread is dead so ill make this the last post. to make a long story short yes we are together now & there was no seduction lol.


Wow. I hope that it works out for it. I think you should have thought about this more. He is your legal guardian. His home is one of the only places for you to stay. 

If things don't work out, and at such a young age (it usually doesn't), then what is your plans? Where will you go to live?


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



DTO said:


> Oh FFS!:slap:
> 
> He is her legal guardian (read: she's a minor). She needs to wait - esp. for all that.


 :iagree: Got that Straight DTO!


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

ok not dead afterall lol. ok just to clarify nothing sexual or illegal has happened ( & no im not just saying that ). yes i do have other relatives i could live with if things dont work out & i have my inheritance if need be. @pa_dc2 what do you need details on exactly like what we agreed to or how the conversation was brought up ( greatest moment of my life btw lol )


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## pa_dc2 (Sep 20, 2012)

Just curious you were pretty thorough in the beginning of the thread. Just wondering how it evolved into what it is now?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes said:


> ok not dead afterall lol. ok just to clarify nothing sexual or illegal has happened ( & no im not just saying that ). yes i do have other relatives i could live with if things dont work out & i have my inheritance if need be. @pa_dc2 what do you need details on exactly like what we agreed to or how the conversation was brought up ( greatest moment of my life btw lol )


Glad nothing sexual happened. The LAST thing you need to add to fuel to your aunt's fire (where she is challenging the will and your inheritance).


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

yeah i have calmed down alot since i first came here and having this resolved so im not so erratic & confused. its not that im not trying to be thorough its just that well i don't want to bore people with what would sound like something from a romance novel or a movie lol.i mean ill tell you guys if you want i just dont want to type it all out if unnecessary. we both admitted our feelings for eachother & how bad we felt about having them, how hard it was dealing with them & how relieved we felt after it was out in the open. we agreed to hold off on sex for a while which was a mutual decision. it turns out he was feeling alot like me prior to this & it was like we just understood eachother perfectly in that second like everything just fell into place. we talked for hours about everything we laughed, i cried lol & then that was that we were officialy together & my life has been perfect since then


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes said:


> ok this thread is dead so ill make this the last post. to make a long story short yes we are together now & there was no seduction lol.


I know this is kinda late. I was reading where he said you could stay as long as you needed. That he is working to care for you now. That he was not dating anyone . That told me he was looking at you and not like a sister. IMO he was waiting on you to turn 18. The thread is not dead yet lololol...


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## TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes (Sep 15, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

@DTO yeah i have thought about that to. only people we are close to know and nobody even knows her other than his mom & they hate eachother do im not worried. our lawyer assured us we will win & is even doing it for free ( pro bono i believe was the term ) . my aunt is trying to say mental incompetency at the time the will was made which is completely untrue. @mrstj4sho98 you see i always thought that to ( i was right lol ) but at the time i was over analyzing everything & driving myself crazy with the what ifs & doubts lol. glad to see its still around but dont know where it can go from here


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



TheMoonIsClosrInYourEyes said:


> @DTO yeah i have thought about that to. only people we are close to know and nobody even knows her other than his mom & they hate eachother do im not worried. our lawyer assured us we will win & is even doing it for free ( pro bono i believe was the term ) . my aunt is trying to say mental incompetency at the time the will was made which is completely untrue. @mrstj4sho98 you see i always thought that to ( i was right lol ) but at the time i was over analyzing everything & driving myself crazy with the what ifs & doubts lol. glad to see its still around but dont know where it can go from here


Well I am glad he is showing you respect. He is waiting til you 18.That is nice of that young man. Now you relax and enjoy dating . This is the time to get to know him. I know you want him like crazy. But you want to keep him for the longterm relationship.So you don't need to rush it. You will be 18 in a few months. I am wishing you luck with the relationship.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*

In the scheme of things you sound like a great kid, and he sounds like a decent guy.

Wish you both the best.

For the sake of decorum, I'd appreciate if respondents DO NOT request relationship details from a 17 year old.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Deejo said:


> In the scheme of things you sound like a great kid, and he sounds like a decent guy.
> 
> Wish you both the best.
> 
> For the sake of decorum, I'd appreciate if respondents DO NOT request relationship details from a 17 year old.



:iagree:


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

*Re: in love with my (ex) step brother hes 23 im 17 ( extremely long post & wall of te*



Deejo said:


> In the scheme of things you sound like a great kid, and he sounds like a decent guy.
> 
> Wish you both the best.
> 
> For the sake of decorum, I'd appreciate if respondents DO NOT request relationship details from a 17 year old.


Absolutely. I'm kinda surprised that minors are allowed on the board, now that you mention it. This isn't Facebook where people log-on to chat about movies and music.

That being said, this sounds like a GREAT guy, and very grounded and mature for his age. He put himself under substantial legal liability and gave up lots of time to comfort her upon their parent's divorce, go to court for her, etc.


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