# Need advice



## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

deleting


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Your child is feeling guilty about leaving dad alone, when he can't do for himself. This is an awful thing for a child to feel. 

As the sober parent you have to explain that she cannot help her dad. I would really find her an addiction specialist so that they can explain to her dad addiction. 

Also, my daughter no matter how old will not be allowed to go back with him. This is one time when you are going to enforce your will over hers. Someone has to hold on to the child and draw her back to safety....that someone is you.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This is a tough one.

My fear is this:
She will end up meeting and mixing up with unsavory types. She will get hooked on drugs also.
...............................................................................................

She needs a crash course on Drug Addiction and how it creeps into your life.

I would create an itinerary and action plan for your daughter.

I would take her to a Drug Anon meeting and let her sit in.

I would visit with a major hospital and let her talk to one of the intake nurses or doctor. Let them explain how dangerous drugs are. Let her find out first hand how they can kill you, control you.

How acquaintances can get you onto drugs. What happens after you get hooked....how you lose control of everything, including your body. How suppliers will use you for their pleasure or to gain money from your body.

Ii is nice that she loves her father, but this is very risky.

I would move nearby and monitor her. Keep her close to me. 

You may lose her, but not for lack of trying.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Your daughter is becoming an adult. She is about to leave the nest and embark on a life of her own.

It is a time of great challenge, potential stress, and should be one of tremendous excitement. 

She needs to understand, that, whether heading off to college or out into the world of work, that even if she doesn't realize it, this time of life can be a bit overwhelming. The last thing she need while trying to discover herself, is this millstone hanging around her neck, dragging her under, when she should be flowering and blooming. She must understand that any sense of loyalty at this point is misplaced; he's made his bed, he must sleep in it. She can't fix him--only he can fix himself. 

Bottom line, she must understand that there is no possible upside for her in this. Which might be okay if her sacrifice was likely to yield an upside for him--but it won't. She can't help him (nor does he deserve her help). So with no possible upside for him, what is the point of her setting aside her life for him?


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## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

deleting


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

Not a nice story, willful behavior like that displayed by your EXH is totally unacceptable in that he takes your daughter and puts her in jeopardy when he takes drugs whilst she is in his care. No right minded parent especially the sober one should allow visitation rights until he is either clean or the visit is supervised. My heart breaks that a child has to see a parent in such a position as a habitual drug abuser especially when the child feels an obligation to help whilst not realizing the full implications of the situation, agree with others that maybe your daughter should visit a professional in substance abuse to get a briefing on what situation her father is in, opening her eyes a little to reality of her fathers predicament might help her respond in a more positive light when she meets him.

Love and peace always

KevinZX


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Get her involved in ACOA ASAP.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Agreed. What she needs most right now is therapy. Him leaving when she was 13 was the first fatal blow and now she's tied up in needing him to need her, to feel worthy, to make up for him abandoning her.


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