# i dont know what to do



## fineline101 (Jan 11, 2009)

my husband and i have been together for 4 years but married for close to one...he has serious anger issues and needs help, but thinks it is my responsiblity to get him that..i have 2 step children that i care for full time..he does nothing but bash everything i do with them..i myself have 2 children..one with my ex and one with my husband now...it has always been an arguement with him about the 2 step children..he feels i dont buy enough for them...dont provide enough for them..he thinks i give my kids more..which isnt the case...he says alot of mean and hateful things out of anger..and here lately since he has had a place to run he has been leaving more often...he goes to his step moms house and lays on the couch in her back room and watches tv all day while she takes care of the kids...he wont let me have the children when he leaves because he says he has custody of them i am only a step parent and i have no rights...aside whenever he gets pissed he always yells divorce and will be gone the whole weekend but when the work week starts up he is always here and when apologize..say it isnt going to happen again and then a few weeks later....here we go again
problem is when he isnt pissed off we have a really good relationship...he just has seriuos anger issues..he was raised by an alcoholic..he watched his dad and step mom get into physical altercations all the time..and he himself got into fights with them..so i know alot of it is learned behavior and i dont want to give up on him because i see alot of good but here lately i wonder if maybe i cant do it...im emotionally about to break..im trying to raise these kids all week the best i can ..i love thim all and try to give to them all the best i can...but its hard when there is always someone there bashing every attempt you make
i dont know whether i should get a divorce or wait a few more months until we have the money for conseling?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

well i agree with your title of fineline, you are on the fineline.
do you think your relationship can improve?
relationships are so different. but its what you think is for the best!
i do think the relationship sounds very hard and really is this going to change. do you want to stay in a marriage thats based on you walking on eggshells all the time.
im afraid what you are going through wil happen again and again and its psychological abuse.
dont forget you have always done your best and he just has so much negativity thats sucks your good energy from you.


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## jonnydee (Jan 14, 2009)

I suggest books by Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Spouse, etc. Outlines what verbal abuse is and how damaging it is.

jd


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