# Married for 2 weeks and wife is already cheating (sort of)



## NewlyWedGuy (Aug 23, 2016)

Hello,

Firstly, thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am new to this community and looking for advice from people that may have been in a similar situation.

I have been married for two weeks and back from the honeymoon for about 1 week. I was somewhat surprised to find out that my wife this week and weekend was "sexting" other guys and also asking them for times that they could talk over the phone and assumably meet up. The guy she is mostly doing this with was not a past boyfriend but is someone that she used to "hook up" with.

A little history: this happened before while we were engaged and we worked through it. She was texting this guy and a couple other guys, trading provocative photos, sexting, etc. I confronted her about it, she apologized and committed to stop and put her best efforts forth in our relationship. I forgave her for it, committed to not talk about it to cast shadows from the past and move forward.

And before anyone asks: yes, i found out by checking her text messages, i know - it is wrong, but i will only defend this by saying that she is very self-relevant when she has something to hide (will spare you the details, but it is quite obvious) - i wish i could say we had a better foundation for trust - i genuinely thought we had gotten to that point after the last incident and before we continued on with the engagement and marriage.

So - i post here because i am somewhat at a loss for what to do. I approached this with her in the past and her commitment to stop wasn't held to. Here is the thing: we are (extremely) early on in our marriage, and i do want to make this work - I am not the kind of person to be hasty or rash in my decisions or actions. I would welcome any thoughts or feedback here. 

I'll also mention (for context) - we have known each other for 5 years, dated for 2 years, and were engaged for almost a year - also, the intimacy in our relationship is otherwise very healthy.

Thank you very much (in advance) for your consideration on this and any opinions you have to offer.


----------



## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

LOL

You rug swept this during the engagement and it happened again. What are you going to do now, rug sweep it again? I bet you'll forgive her if she promises to stop, right? Pinky swear? Get the marriage annulled, fool.

Why are you so desperate to stay with an unremorseful, unrepentant cheater? You must think she is the best you can do? You should have seen the red flags and run for the hills, so I don't feel sorry for you at all. Grow a pair and get the marriage annulled. Expose to everybody.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

...


----------



## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

End it immediately.


----------



## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

Why was it wrong to check her text messages? You were engaged to her and now married. There is no privacy in marriage except when taking a dump. Her phone is yours. Your phone is hers.

With that said, run from this woman before you invest too much. She's a ho. Sorry about that. It happens.


----------



## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

Personal said:


> I think you should forgive her and not talk about it, lest you cast shadows from the past. You should also keep doing the same thing so your marriage will work whenever this happens again.



You forgot to include the html tags <sarcasm> and </sarcasm> around your comment. :wink2:


----------



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Your new wife obviously is not marriage material. She showed you who she was before you married; then two weeks after tying the knot she's doing this again? The ink's not even dry on your marriage license. 

What are the chances this won't repeat, after you invest years in the marriage and have children to deal with? *Slim and none.*

Check with an attorney to see about an annulment. Start the divorce process otherwise.


----------



## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

gtfo


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

LOL, you said cheating "kind of"??????

Dude, that's cheating. And I wish I could bold and supersize the period on that.

You can stay married for a little while until she finds someone she likes better and has more access to your money when she divorces you, or you can get your marriage annulled while you still can. NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS, annul this "marriage" immediately. Don't think about it, don't delay it, don't do anything but go see a lawyer today and end this farce.

Otherwise, you are doomed. DOOMED. really. 
Get out


----------



## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP why did you come here.? Dude get out now.! WTF so when it happens again you going to piss that you. You could've been done and over with with the pain. Because let's not be so arrogant and naïve to think she'll never do it again come on guy but it comes down to it. She has no respect for you what so ever bottom line. It might be next month, it might be two years, it might be five years, "She will do it again." She's is a broken mess of a woman.! Your wife shows you absolute no respect you going to answer it yourself buddy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

I'm sorry you are here so soon after being married.

She's either got self-esteem issues & is looking for validation/compliments for other men OR you are her "safe bet" guy. 
She may have married you because you're a good guy but you just don't excite her sexually. 
If you stay with her except a sexless marriage in a few years. 

Listen to the folks here. 
Get a divorce or face a miserable time in the future. 



Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


----------



## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

she wanted the wedding, not the marriage


----------



## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here my friend.

You should end this marriage because she will never change. 

Tell her she can have all those "boyfriends" but you are out.

Best wishes to you. Stay strong.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I stopped reading after the first paragraph. She was sexting and planning meet ups with other dudes a week or two into your marriage?

File for divorce and if relevant seek an annulment immediately. 

What advice beyond kicking her out the door do you expect to receive?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

File for annulment. And for god's sake stop having sex with her. If you get her pregnant you are screwed.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> File for annulment. And for god's sake stop having sex with her. If you get her pregnant you are screwed.


Agreed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Just read the second paragraph.

She had been doing this all throughout your courtship and engagement?

That didn't send up any red flags??









_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

You gave her a chance and blew it...end of story, because if you think fro one moment by giving her another chance she will change you ultimately regret it, and by then you will strapped with children you aren't sure are yours but will be paying for the rest of your life...be smart move on and let her be someone else problem.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

3 steps:

Annulment.

STD screening.

Fix your wife picker, it's broke.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

You should have took care of this before you married her. By continuing on with the relationship and marrying her, you basically were enabling this behavior. She's not going to stop now. You sent her the message that there will be no consequences for contacting other guys. Now you'll have to deal with it. The only real recourse you have now is to annul the marriage. Hopefully you have learned your lesson.


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

You married a serial cheater. Get an annulment asap. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

uh, did you guys discuss having an OPEN MARRIAGE before the ceremony? THAT would make some sense. But sexting a guy one week after your honeymoon...that sounds like a nymphomaniac to me. Is the sex in bed so astounding that you are just worn out after 5 or ten goes, and she HAS to find someone else to spell you, or are you just a cuckold paycheck to her?


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

NewlyWedGuy said:


> . I am not the kind of person to be hasty or rash in my decisions or actions.
> 
> .



Translation - I am indecisive. 

At the least you should ask her to clean herself after she hooked up with the other guy.


----------



## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

NewlyWedGuy said:


> *
> So - i post here because i am somewhat at a loss for what to do*.


If you really don't...then I recommend you get on your hands and knees and buy her more phones... all those guys deserve an individual phone....


----------



## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

I don't know if the guy will be back here but...

She has ZERO respect for you. After rug sweeping it again she has -zero respect. 

You're plan "B"....the safe plan. 


The bad boy guy she's texting and yes she is cheating is plan"A". 

Someone else said it here, she def not wife material. You're in for a huge child support and alimony if you have kids with her. 

That is if they are YOUR kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

ReidWright said:


> she wanted the wedding, not the marriage


Not the groom to be more precise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

I can't say anything more than had been said.
Op unfortunate for you she obviously has no respect for you at all.
This early on...get out. You are out the cost of a wedding. Don't come back here in 15 years because you stayed with her and you were trapped there because of kids.



Sent from my iPhone


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

To prevent a life of misery I highly recommend you drop your W like a bad habit. Do not look back.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

jerry123 said:


> Someone else said it here, she def not wife material. You're in for a huge child support and alimony if you have kids with her.
> 
> That is if they are YOUR kids.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Or worst of all, they aren't your kids but you are STILL paying child support for them, because it's your name on the goddamm birth certificate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Spicy said:


> Fix your wife picker, it's broke.



FIX YER PICKER!!!


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

All those in favor of the OP sh!tcanning his cheating bride please raise your hands...
















I do believe we have a consensus.


----------



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> All those in favor of the OP sh!tcanning his cheating bride please raise your hands...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:yay:


----------



## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Newlywed

i guess if you are still reading you have by now figured out what the advice is.
Save yourself some trouble and don't bother to run to other forums with the same situation and expect any different feedback./

if one of your best freinds or brother told you this story, would you actually tell him not to get the **** out immediately?? YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING and the ink is not even dry on the marriage certificate. And who gives a damm about why.????

So if you do not get what you need to do then please get to a therapist who can help you because you are in for one world of hurt if you do not extricate yourself from her.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

As others have said 

Annulment as soon as you can.

No sex you don't want to have to wait 9 months for her to have a child that's not yours.

STDs.

Track down the OMs and expose them

Tamat


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You'll need to get a divorce if you leave her. This is not what an annulment is for. But it should be pretty easy and quick to divorce her since you have not been married very long.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> All those in favor of the OP sh!tcanning his cheating bride please raise your hands...











_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

NewlyWedGuy said:


> I forgave her for it, committed to not talk about it to cast shadows from the past and move forward.


 She cheated on you, said she was sorry, got you to go on with the wedding, and then got you to agree to "not talk about it" because she wanted there to be absolutely no consequences for her cheating. Amazingly you agreed and are now surprised that she so quickly cheated again. You are a cheaters perfect spouse.

Cheating more than once makes her a serial cheater, and news flash, these two times are only the ones that you know of. Since studies show that most cheating takes place without the spouse ever finding out, it is almost a sure thing that there were many other times that she cheated. Odds are she will cheat again, but I think that you know that already. Before deciding on staying in this marriage, look up the word "cuckold" and see if that is someone that you want to be.


----------



## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

The OP's story reminds me of @VeryHurt's son's fiancé.


----------



## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

You came here searching for honest answers so an honest answer i will give you.

Unfortunately the second time around you have no one to blame but yourself.

You rugswept this the first time it happened but more importantly you offered up no consequences of whatsoever to her extremely foul behavour.

Talking from experience you need to do a sudden 180 and take drastic measures towards a response that would clearly communicate to her that this shi....t will not be tolerated.

Kick her out immediately. Now is the perfect time to do so. You have no kids and no real commitmentment to each other.

Pack her things and place them in bags out the front door. Any joint accounts? Withdrawl the money and deposit it in your own account. If you support her stop supportring her.

Unless you take the above actions you will find yourself back here in a year or two with a kid in tow and she will own your life.

That said if reconciliation is what your after still do the above. Unless she realises that this nonsense will never be tolerated again and that she is to give you full access to electronic gadgets and emails, facebook, etc than proceed with divorce.

That said be careful if you give her a last chance make this the absolute last time.


----------



## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

I think we scared him off and doubtful he will come back.


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

becareful2 said:


> The OP's story reminds me of @VeryHurt's son's fiancé.


 Sadly, none of the stories found in the infidelity section are ever really new.


----------



## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

NewlyWedGuy, if you're for real, you know what to do my man.:wink2:


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> File for annulment. And for god's sake stop having sex with her. If you get her pregnant you are screwed.


Huh?
@bandit.45

I think you said that backwards....then again science is wonderful nowadays!

Maybe you are dis-sex-lick.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This may be that guy under the bridge. 

You know what they say about rabbits multiplying.


----------



## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

One post wonder?


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Hell I Wonder if OP is for real. Hell! Never should have gotten married based on her track record.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

I'll never understand why they apologize for snooping....

The spouse is actively back stabbing you and you're the one feeling guilty?!? 

So ironic.


----------



## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

i would encourage you, OP, to read the book "Grow a Pair". I was a great book for me to read wh n I was dealing with shyt.
You got to man up brother. Do not let her emasculate you


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> I'll never understand why they apologize for snooping....
> 
> The spouse is actively back stabbing you and you're the one feeling guilty?!?
> 
> So ironic.


I agree - but we even see here the occasional poster who would read that story and would proceed to berate the OP over their snooping. I'm surprised they haven't made an appearance yet to be honest.


Never apologize for seeking the truth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

If you think she's a cheater now, wait until the "honeymoon" period is over, and her interest in you naturally starts to wane. 

There is nothing rash or impulsive about a man who divorces his cheating newlywed wife. It's what 99% of us would do. You're seeing who she really is.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Godspeed, @NewlyWedGuy , Godspeed.

Hopefully you have at least have been lurking after you posted and logged off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

ButtPunch said:


> End it immediately.


This, before kids come into the picture. If she did this when engaged, and did it right after you married, she will continue doing it. You might want to make it work, OP, but doesn't sound like she does.  Sorry you're going through this.


----------



## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I am typically more understanding than a lot of the 2x4 people on this site, but I agree. This woman is not marriage material. This is who she is. Heed what she is showing you. 

GTFO


----------



## Bloodinthecut (Feb 14, 2017)

oh no! You married a cheater. That is who she is. She will never be faithful. My uncle had mistresses to the mistress. It's who he was until the day he died. That's who she is. 

When someone tells you who they are, believe it.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

NewlyWedGuy said:


> Hello,
> 
> Firstly, thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am new to this community and looking for advice from people that may have been in a similar situation.
> 
> ...


This is what annulment was made for.

The problem in this situation is not your wife, she is a lost cause the problem is you. Why do you accept so little. Get that fixed and you will not be with this person and will have a better life.


----------



## fleek (Jul 20, 2016)

If she is capable of doing that during the honeymoon phase of your marriage, I shudder to think what she's capable of after a few years and life's stresses start creeping up on her.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Zombie thread from a drive by poster.


----------



## fleek (Jul 20, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Zombie thread from a drive by poster.


I need 2 more (now 1 more) post so I can get access to the private area and view some of the linked posts. 

Feel free to ask me a question that would require a thoughtful and timely response :smile2:


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

fleek said:


> I need 2 more (now 1 more) post so I can get access to the private area and view some of the linked posts.
> 
> Feel free to ask me a question that would require a thoughtful and timely response :smile2:


What does your name mean.I don't really want to know I'm just doing as you asked.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Zombie thread y'all.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

fleek said:


> I need 2 more (now 1 more) post so I can get access to the private area and view some of the linked posts.
> 
> 
> 
> Feel free to ask me a question that would require a thoughtful and timely response :smile2:




I haven't read your story yet. Do you want any fun plans for the weekend? A reply gets you to 30.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie thread. Locked.


----------

