# Cheating exwife engaged.



## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

Well, news took little time to get to me this morning. Turns out that my cheating xw is now engaged to her AP. Funny, my daughter has told me sooo many times about how her mother and her boyfriend are against marriage and that both have stated so many times that neither will ever remarry. I've known for a very long time that she couldn't make it on her own and that she'd marry him if given the chance just to survive financially (she lived off of me for 20 years). So, I've officially been divorced for a whopping 4 months. I guess if any of her family or friends doubted that she had an affair, this pretty much cements it.

Just had to vent.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

I am sure she will be cheating on him in no time.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

cantdecide said:


> Well, news took little time to get to me this morning. Turns out that my cheating xw is now engaged to her AP. Funny, my daughter has told me sooo many times about how her mother and her boyfriend are against marriage and that both have stated so many times that neither will ever remarry. I've known for a very long time that she couldn't make it on her own and that she'd marry him if given the chance just to survive financially (she lived off of me for 20 years). So, I've officially been divorced for a whopping 4 months. I guess if any of her family or friends doubted that she had an affair, this pretty much cements it.
> 
> Just had to vent.


Sorry. The good thing is once she marries you'll no longer need to pay alimony.


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

Enchanted said:


> Sorry. The good thing is once she marries you'll no longer need to pay alimony.


Alimony? What Alimony? I had her so scared about revealing all her love notes (texts) that she left the house and I only agreed to pay her half my retirement and child support. I only have 2 1/2 years of CS to pay. She just bought a house and can't afford it after child support is over.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> Alimony? What Alimony? I had her so scared about revealing all her love notes (texts) that she left the house and I only agreed to pay her half my retirement and child support. I only have 2 1/2 years of CS to pay. She just bought a house and can't afford it after child support is over.


Bravo. Well played, sir.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

cantdecide said:


> Alimony? What Alimony? I had her so scared about revealing all her love notes (texts) that she left the house and I only agreed to pay her half my retirement and child support. I only have 2 1/2 years of CS to pay. She just bought a house and can't afford it after child support is over.


Maybe revelation time then? As a wedding gift?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Maybe revelation time then? As a wedding gift?


That would be icing on the cake


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

cantdecide said:


> Alimony? What Alimony? I had her so scared about revealing all her love notes (texts) that she left the house and I only agreed to pay her half my retirement and child support. I only have 2 1/2 years of CS to pay. She just bought a house and can't afford it after child support is over.



Then the new guy will help pay for a home that will put a roof over your children's heads.


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

I don't have anything though. I bluffed and bluffed and bluffed. She thinks I have copies of emails, FB chats, texts and VAR recordings. I knew enough and bluffed the rest. :smthumbup:


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

Enchanted said:


> Then the new guy will help pay for a home that will put a roof over your children's heads.


My son (almost 19) lives with me and my daughter spends a lot of time with me. Her AP's house I'm told is a dump so I'm sure he'll be moving in with my XW. Don't think my daughter will enjoy that too much. My XW had her convinced that they were just friends despite what I told her. I guess she knows now.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

cantdecide said:


> My son (almost 19) lives with me and my daughter spends a lot of time with me. Her AP's house I'm told is a dump so I'm sure he'll be moving in with my XW. Don't think my daughter will enjoy that too much. My XW had her convinced that they were just friends despite what I told her. I guess she knows now.


Then maybe both your kids will move in with you and then she'll have to pay you child support.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Yeah, just make sure the daughter knows she can move in any time.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

turnera said:


> Yeah, just make sure the daughter knows she can move in any time.


This...make sure everyone is clear in possibilities. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

turnera said:


> Yeah, just make sure the daughter knows she can move in any time.


Believe me, I've told her many times that I will never "campaign" to get her to live with me but if at any time she wants to, she doesn't even have to ask, she can just show up or call. She understands completely.

And wouldn't that be icing on the cake, if my XW had to pay ME child support.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

cantdecide said:


> Believe me, I've told her many times that I will never "campaign" to get her to live with me but if at any time she wants to, she doesn't even have to ask, she can just show up or call. She understands completely.
> 
> And wouldn't that be icing on the cake, if my XW had to pay ME child support.


It will be more than icing. 

I had a dad who moved to another state so he wouldn't have to spend time with me and my brother. (He even admitted to it.) Now his life is a disaster because he put freedom and materialism before family. 

However, you can have it all. A nice house, loving children to nurture and grow. Kids stay at home much longer now and will need the guidance of a loving stable parent. You can have a quality life that will bring lasting joy and contentment. She will be the one who'll look back at her crummy decisions and be filled with regret, not you.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> I don't have anything though. I bluffed and bluffed and bluffed. She thinks I have copies of emails, FB chats, texts and VAR recordings. I knew enough and bluffed the rest. :smthumbup:


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> I don't have anything though. I bluffed and bluffed and bluffed. She thinks I have copies of emails, FB chats, texts and VAR recordings. I knew enough and bluffed the rest. :smthumbup:


Remind me never to play poker with you brother. Wow.


:allhail:


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

I asked my son about it this morning and he was shocked that I knew. The XW had sworn my kids to secrecy. He asked how I knew. All I told him was that if she doesn't want the world to know, don't post it on Facebook!! I'm not on Facebook anymore due to her using it for her affair. And she hides all posts except to people she's friends with. Funny though, her brother in law works for me and his daughter is friends with the XW on FB. It all gets back to me. I'm sure the XW will be scratching her head for a long time wondering how I get all my information. I'll never tell


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Uh, you just did. You told your son.


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

turnera said:


> Uh, you just did. You told your son.


No, I'm not on FB. Both my kids know that. And even if I were, I couldn't see her posts because I'm not friends with her.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

4 months? Wow, thats a long time. 

My ex was engaged before the divorce was final and married 16 days after it was finalized...

Now thats a winner, right there! His new wife is a lucky, lucky girl


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

Just curious. Are you reaping the full benefits of the 180 yet? I didn't read your story. You know, Best revenge is living well and all that...

How are you doing in terms of working out, feeling good, enjoying hobbies/activities, dating?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

cantdecide said:


> No, I'm not on FB. Both my kids know that. And even if I were, I couldn't see her posts because I'm not friends with her.


 You said she doesn't know how you know her business. But you told your son that you know because she posts on FB. He will tell her.


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

Oh, I'm fine. In better shape than when I was married. 

I don't take her phone calls. I've told her to text or email if she absolutely has to say something about the kids. But they're 18 and 15 so there's very little that the ex and I need to talk about. Drives her nuts. Also drives her nuts that paying CS is making me as broke as she is. She's always saying something to the kids about how she doesn't have money but I do.

I have no problems with her getting married. Bothered me for about 30 seconds when I was told but I don't really care. She'll be miserable with him and vise versa. It's only a matter of time. They deserve each other. I'm MUCH better off without her. Both mentally and financially.

Been dating ever since she moved out of the house 1 1/2 years ago. But I'm in no way looking to get married anytime soon.


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

turnera said:


> You said she doesn't know how you know her business. But you told your son that you know because she posts on FB. He will tell her.


I know that. But she knows that I can't see her posts on FB. It'll drive her nuts wondering who amongst her friends and relatives told me.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Assuming they stay together long enough to actually have a wedding, there is a 75% divorce rate for people that marry their APs. The "If they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you" saying isn't just an old wise tale.


I think I hear the Karma train in the distance...

CHOO! CHOO!


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

cantdecide said:


> I asked my son about it this morning and he was shocked that I knew. The XW had sworn my kids to secrecy.


 Tell both of your children that the only reason that she did not want you to know about the engagement was because, with it being so close to the divorce, it validates the fact that she cheated on you with this other man while married to you. Tell your children that they must tell their mother not to swear them to secrecy against you ever again. That she should not be involving them in her deceit against you their father. They need to tell their mother that if they want a healthy and normal relationship with their father going forward, that they cannot be a party to this type of thing ever again. Point out that by doing this she is really asking them to choose between loyalty to you or loyalty to her, and that this is not right, especially since you were not the one whose cheating lead to the divorce.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> I asked my son about it this morning and he was shocked that I knew. *The XW had sworn my kids to secrecy*. He asked how I knew. All I told him was that if she doesn't want the world to know, don't post it on Facebook!! I'm not on Facebook anymore due to her using it for her affair. And she hides all posts except to people she's friends with. Funny though, her brother in law works for me and his daughter is friends with the XW on FB. It all gets back to me. I'm sure the XW will be scratching her head for a long time wondering how I get all my information. I'll never tell


That is *so* wrong! In my opinion, it is tantamount to child abuse!


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## cantdecide (Apr 9, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> That is *so* wrong! In my opinion, it is tantamount to child abuse!


Yeah, well, it's my ex. She never sees what she does wrong with the kids. If I don't want her to know something, I don't tell the kids. It's pretty easy. I've said things before and they've asked me about her knowing. I've flat out told them that they can talk to her about it if they want to.


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> Yeah, well, it's my ex. She never sees what she does wrong with the kids. If I don't want her to know something, I don't tell the kids. It's pretty easy. I've said things before and they've asked me about her knowing. I've flat out told them that they can talk to her about it if they want to.


And you need to do nothing here. Your kids will work it all out for themselves.


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## Patrick1959 (Jul 16, 2012)

cantdecide said:


> Alimony? What Alimony? I had her so scared about revealing all her love notes (texts) that she left the house and I only agreed to pay her half my retirement and child support. I only have 2 1/2 years of CS to pay. She just bought a house and can't afford it after child support is over.


If she loses CS and can't afford a mortgage do you think she would go for a buy out of 1/2 your retirement?

She financially survives in the short term, you achieve long term gain.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Patrick1959 said:


> *If she loses CS and can't afford a mortgage do you think she would go for a buy out of 1/2 your retirement?
> *
> She financially survives in the short term, you achieve long term gain.


That wouldn't be an option. 

The only reason CS support would shift is because of the child's desire to change with whom she primarily resides (and a judge will listen, and more than likely grant that request due to her age). They're divorced, so this is of no concern whatsoever.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

cantdecide said:


> I don't have anything though. I bluffed and bluffed and bluffed. She thinks I have copies of emails, FB chats, texts and VAR recordings. I knew enough and bluffed the rest. :smthumbup:


Bluffing: A pair of balls beats everything


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