# Need a man's opinion on this - i can't figure him out



## mspm2004 (Apr 4, 2012)

10 years ago we were in a great committed relationship. Right after we met, I told him I wanted to marry and have kids (we were 40). He said he wanted the same. Then, a year and a half into the relationship he tells me he's not ready for marriage but wanted to live together. I left him and eventually moved to another state. 

Over the years he's been trying to locate me. 6 months ago I connected with him on Facebook. Right away he tells me that he made a mistake and he wanted to marry me. We get back together. Our relationship now is even better than before. So why does he now say "time will tell" if he's ready to marry? I'm baffled. Please help and thanks!


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

He's sounds flaky to me. I never felt a need to move in with my wife before we were married to know. I just knew I wanted to marry her.

He needs to man up and decide if he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you or not. What's left for him to discover and resolve at this point in your relationship? Seriously... If he wants to see some change in himself/you first, then he needs to man up and clear the air. Either way, he needs to man up!

Love is hard to find, if you both want the same things in life, both love each other, and both find each other attractive get married. It's just that simple.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He has not changed


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

mmmm...cake

people will eat it if you let them


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> mmmm...cake
> 
> people will eat it if you let them


Especially when you keep giving them more!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the old saying, "why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?"


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

mspm2004 said:


> 10 years ago we were in a great committed relationship. Right after we met, I told him I wanted to marry and have kids (we were 40). He said he wanted the same. Then, a year and a half into the relationship he tells me he's not ready for marriage but wanted to live together. I left him and eventually moved to another state.
> 
> Over the years he's been trying to locate me. 6 months ago I connected with him on Facebook. Right away he tells me that he made a mistake and he wanted to marry me. We get back together. Our relationship now is even better than before. So why does he now say "time will tell" if he's ready to marry? I'm baffled. Please help and thanks!


It's all very obvious. He never wants to marry.


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## mspm2004 (Apr 4, 2012)

Browncoat said:


> He's sounds flaky to me. I never felt a need to move in with my wife before we were married to know. I just knew I wanted to marry her.
> 
> He needs to man up and decide if he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you or not. What's left for him to discover and resolve at this point in your relationship? Seriously... If he wants to see some change in himself/you first, then he needs to man up and clear the air. Either way, he needs to man up!
> 
> Love is hard to find, if you both want the same things in life, both love each other, and both find each other attractive get married. It's just that simple.


Thanks for your advice, Browncoat! I feel exactly the same as you do. Just needed to hear it from a man.


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## mspm2004 (Apr 4, 2012)

Thanks for the tough love Jellybeans, Almostrecovered and AFEH!


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> the old saying, "why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?"


That saying always mystified me. I _can_ have the milk for free. I buy the cow because I want to own a cow. It seems pretty obvious that if I want to own a cow I go to the stockyard and if I want some milk I go to the grocery store.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Jeff/BC said:


> That saying always mystified me. I _can_ have the milk for free. I buy the cow because I want to own a cow. It seems pretty obvious that if I want to own a cow I go to the stockyard and if I want some milk I go to the grocery store.


Somewhere in all that the analogy broke down. Sounds like you're getting your sex from someone other than your wife.

I hope you're just having some fun, but if you really want an explanation of the saying: Why commit to a woman and marry, if all you want is sex and she's giving it to you now.


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Jeff/BC said:


> That saying always mystified me. I _can_ have the milk for free. I buy the cow because I want to own a cow. It seems pretty obvious that if I want to own a cow I go to the stockyard and if I want some milk I go to the grocery store.


OK, sounds like a small life lesson is needed, here. The store does not magically fill milk bottles nor packaged meat nor eggs nor vegetables. These items are produced on "farms" these farms breed cows, and chickens, and grow vegetables in the ground. The chickens lay eggs, the farmer picks the vegetables and the farmer can "milk" a cow and put the milk into a bottle and sell it all to the store, he can also send the cow to a butcher, who will cut it up and package into meat cuts and send it on to the store.

So, if you have a cow, you can get your milk from it instead of everyone else having to do the work to put it on the store shelf.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

"why buy a chicken if the sky is blue".

I know, it doesn't make any sense; but neither do several of the other posts in this thread and I couldn't help myself. I guess I haven't set good posting boundries or "Manned up" enough


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

This guy is 50? If he were on fire to get married and make babies, he's had over 30 years to get around to it. He's been stringing you along for 10 years. Again, if he were on fire to get married, he's had 10 years to find a jewelry store and a preacher. Neither are hard to find. Like every other man on the planet, he wants sex and nurturing. This one will say whatever is required to get it. He either doesn't want to get married, doesn't want to marry you (thinking he might get a better deal) or he can't (i.e., is already legally wed to someone else).


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