# WTF?



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Ok so stbxh was supposed to start sleeping at his place lastnight. He has moved his furniture and has ordered other furniture for my son to be delivered next week. He has been to an attorney already and was adamant last week that he was done and nothing left to try for. Refused my requests to be separated and keep trying. Over the weekend I asked again was he sure that was it as he was treating me great and we had some great talks about our past mistakes. He said he would really give it some thought. Well last night we talked more and he admitted he is confused about his feelings but still wants to move. I said ok but what about you move and we date and keep working on it. He seemed very intto that. So we were "together" last night and afterwards he held me all night. So this morning I brought it up to claritfy(he ha wine last night) that we were still on same page. He said he was still moving out but he was interested in dating. He did say that he has a hard time trusting when things are good because he thinks that I have changed for him not for myself and this isn't the real me because I'm desperate for him not to leave.( mind you he cheated I didn't) After this converstion he seemed to pull away but before we talked he was treating me great. I feel like I had a little power last night but somehow I lost it this moring. Please someone help me to understand all this and tell me what to do? I'm very confused now.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Sound like mines..

Before sex= your in power
After sex= he is in power

Make sure your date but set boundaries. Mines would pop up whenever he wanted without calling but when I did same to him he questioned me being at *HIS* place. 

We dated for about 5 months but it cool however the trust issues was never worked out. I had no contact with him at all for a month now. 

Good Luck..


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## bonnie s (Feb 28, 2012)

If he is confused about his feelings, some time apart may help both of you sift through your emotions. It is always easier to separate and maintain that you will be friends, so as not to "cut the cord".

If he is not involved withany one now, he may see weekends alone as scary and hope to have you to fall back on. You may experience weeks or months of depression after he moves out, but pressurring him to maintain contact, may have him pull back and avoid you. I didnt read your other posts yet, but will now.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I know it's hard but maybe do away w/ relationship talk for a little while. Try to refrain just a little bit to see if that helps. It did us (at least our nerves) now of course I am still on egg shells when ever we have to talk b/c of kiddos.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

This sounds like a MLC. Read Divorce Busters. It helped me very much through my wifes fog. The key is patience and understanding they are confused and will twist things.

If you want to save your marriage, there are a series of things you can do depending on what is happening. 

Also, can you get him into MC with you? Seperate, date and MC.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

justwhy said:


> Before sex= your in power
> After sex= he is in power


THIS! :iagree:


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

TIM, 
I suspect that my H also is having MLC ... does the Divorce Busting really hit hard on that? I have bought several books already and I am just not finding them to be that different.


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