# Husband looking at tall skinny porn. I'm short and curvy.



## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

My husband and I have been going through a lot lately, the gory details are in the reconciliation forum. 

Last night he locked himself in the office for like three hours. Turns out he was looking at porn. He emailed me an old video of us being intimate and said "remember this"? I didn't even see it until today and when I asked about it he said "he was just looking through old pictures and saw that ".... okaaaayyy.. 

We haven't been having sex lately because we're VERY on the rocks, so naturally I am really confused. 

Being the nosy person I am, I looked at his computer and he also looked through a bunch of pics... including ones of his tall skinny ex and then he Googled tall skinny porn.

I'm short and curvy, and 7 months pregnant. Is he missing his ex or something? Wtf?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

rrhouse said:


> My husband and I have been going through a lot lately, the gory details are in the reconciliation forum.
> 
> Last night he locked himself in the office for like three hours. Turns out he was looking at porn. He emailed me an old video of us being intimate and said "remember this"? I didn't even see it until today and when I asked about it he said "he was just looking through old pictures and saw that ".... okaaaayyy..
> 
> ...


Insert facepalm meme here.


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> rrhouse said:
> 
> 
> > My husband and I have been going through a lot lately, the gory details are in the reconciliation forum.
> ...



What? Is that facepalm for me or him? Haha I know it's silly to care what he does at this point, but I'm still human.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

He reached out to you. He reminded you of better times. Kinda clumsy way to go about it but I find this is typical of most men, Gus excluded of course!

No, you H is looking at porn and the woman just happened to be tall and skinny. Oh lord girl do you have any idea how porn is searched for? What was the action? That's how porn is searched for. Hard core, Asian school girl, naughty cheer leader, giant boobs... Nobody searches for talk and skinny! Okay well maybe a few do...

Nut and bolts, you are making a MOUNTAIN out of a mosquito bite!


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> He reached out to you. He reminded you of better times. Kinda clumsy way to go about it but I find this is typical of most men, Gus excluded of course!
> 
> No, you H is looking at porn and the woman just happened to be tall and skinny. Oh lord girl do you have any idea how porn is searched for? What was the action? That's how porn is searched for. Hard core, Asian school girl, naughty cheer leader, giant boobs... Nobody searches for talk and skinny! Okay well maybe a few do...
> 
> Nut and bolts, you are making a MOUNTAIN out of a mosquito bite!



I know how people look up porn, I'm no stranger to looking at it myself. His Google history had "Tall and Skinny Porn". Not his Web history, but his search engine. So yeah, he was specifically looking for tall and skinny. 

The whole scenario is just awkward and confusing, so I'm looking for insight. I'm not really mad, just confused.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It is unfortunate that you found out he did this, but it really probably doesn't mean anything. But if it bothers you, just tell him and get it out in the open. He will likely just shrug and be like "it has nothing to do with you/us". Though I don't know your full story so I could be wrong. I'm thinking it hurt you more that he was looking at his ex-gf and THEN tall and skinny...if it was just tall and skinny porn, you may not have thought this.

But still...just tell him and ask him to reassure you. You are pregnant and it is hard to feel sexy at that time and hopefully he can really, genuinely reassure you in a way that makes you feel better.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

skip ahead to 2:42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CZiTyKjY4w&list=RD1CZiTyKjY4w#t=71


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

Men are strange. 

He does have pictures of her in his computer, as well as other exes. They're just normal pics, nothing sexual. I accidentally found *those pictures/videos* several years ago and asked him to get rid of them. Last night he looked at pictures of her (i saw in them in his recent documents), videos of him and I, and then did the search online. Probably not in that order, i wouldn't know. 

I don't mind at all if: 
A) He has pictures of exes, I do too. They're memories of old times. 
B) He looks at porn. I do too. Porn is fun. 

I do mind if he's telling me he has no interest in our relationship one day, then the next day he's emailing me sex videos of us. In the same night he's also looking at pictures of his ex and tall & skinny porn. 

It's weird and it makes no sense. My only response is WTF. I dug through his recent documents to see what videos of us he had in there, I wanted to find out why the heck he was looking through them.


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

badsanta said:


> It is also a fantasy that guys feel safe exploring because that relationship is defined as over, often to the point it makes the reality of pursuing it again unappealing.


that is actually a really interesting point. Could apply to both men and women.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

rrhouse said:


> Last night he locked himself in the office for like three hours. Turns out he was looking at porn. He emailed me an old video of us being intimate and said, "remember this?" I didn't even see it until today and when I asked about it he said, "he was just looking through old pictures and saw that" .... okaaaayyy..


I realize it's hard to understand how men think differently. You DH is showing you he wants to reconnect. The choice is yours-


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Maybe he heard a rumor that his ex put out an amateure porn video?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

If I was looking at pictures of an x and then searching for her body type photos I am thinking about her or getting with a woman like her. I don't keep photos of my x though so I am speculating for him


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I agree that it's his way of trying to reconnect.

In the meantime he's trying to keep himself busy, out of trouble and take care of his libido. Nothing more.


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## topaz (Nov 22, 2012)

On more likely possiblity......

I love stirfries. So at home I make teryaki, black bean, cocunut curry, stirfries all the time. Mix it up with beef sometimes, chicken othertimes, and seafood occasionally. You know why. Because I really really like stir fries. They are my favorite and I eat them 90% of the time.

When I go out for dinner you know what I order. NEVER STIRFRIES. Everyone has to mix it up now and then and I already make/have the best stirfries out there. So when FORCED to eat somewhere else because the food at home is scarce..... I will eat something completely different. It also helps that it doesn't REMIND me of the stirfries at home. Because then it would make me sad that I wasn't enjoying my stirfry.

Are you reading between the lines?


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## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

Count yourself lucky, at least he wasn't looking for midget tranny porn.


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

topaz said:


> On more likely possiblity......
> 
> I love stirfries. So at home I make teryaki, black bean, cocunut curry, stirfries all the time. Mix it up with beef sometimes, chicken othertimes, and seafood occasionally. You know why. Because I really really like stir fries. They are my favorite and I eat them 90% of the time.
> 
> ...



I'm definitely reading between the lines. Although he's the one not interested in getting his stir-fry at home, so his need to "go out for dinner" is his own doing. Maybe his is also fantasizing about his ex or feeling nostalgic about easier times when marriage wasn't making him depressed. 

Whatever it is, I'm not as concerned about it today. He ignored me all day yesterday, so if that was a clumsy attempt to reconnect it failed horribly due to his own failure to follow up. 

He's the type of guy that thinks he can whack you in the face with his manhood and you're supposed to suddenly be in the mood. (No, that specific example has never actually happened, thank goodness)


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

ChristianGrey said:


> Count yourself lucky, at least he wasn't looking for midget tranny porn.



I guess. Haha


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would be more concerned about the fact you are having a baby in a relationship that is on the rocks.


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

Holland said:


> I would be more concerned about the fact you are having a baby in a relationship that is on the rocks.


I don't believe I asked for advice regarding that issue, did I? 

If you care to comment rudely about my pregnancy, you'll find that concern in the Reconciliation forum. Have a nice day .


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

All of your other issues in your marriage aside, I'm really surprised at how everyone is blowing this off here. I'd actually feel exactly as you do if I discovered that google search and what he was looking at after looking at a pic of his tall/skinny ex.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Something else,,,

Some men are perturbed by pregnancy - particularly late stage.

They fret about hurting baby or (and) their partner.

Others are simply 'grossed out' by it.

As many psychological factors as there are men. Some find it sexier, most deal with it, some don't like it for whatever reason.

Maybe he doesn't like it and doesn't even know why himself. He might be reluctant to tell you about it - esp' if he doesn't have a definitive answer for you.

Don't take this the wrong way but, if your bump has filled in your hour-glass, you're not so much curvy as round for the next two months.

If he has ANY kind of issue with pregnancy, could be the tall girls are providing him with emotional support as well as the more obvious relief.

I've NEVER done a porn search based on height. On camera, a 5' 2" woman will look the same as a 5' 10" one if they're proportionally similar and absent another point of reference.

If he were THAT into tall women I doubt he would've married a short one.

Could be related to the ex but my money's on a pregnancy 'issue'. No way to tell what that issue might be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I didn't realize there was a bad kind woman. Thin, curves, tall, short, who cares? Even the word 'woman' is nice.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

To the OP...

People want what they cant have or dont have.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

rrhouse said:


> I know how people look up porn, I'm no stranger to looking at it myself. His Google history had "Tall and Skinny Porn". Not his Web history, but his search engine. So yeah, he was specifically looking for tall and skinny.
> 
> The whole scenario is just awkward and confusing, so I'm looking for insight. I'm not really mad, just confused.


To use a phrase I have read here on these boards,
Worry not. SIZE doesn't matter.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

rrhouse said:


> Men are strange.


No, people are strange.



rrhouse said:


> I do mind if he's telling me he has no interest in our relationship one day, then the next day he's emailing me sex videos of us. In the same night he's also looking at pictures of his ex and tall & skinny porn.



Sounds like he's missing a previous incarnation of your relationship, and possibly a more palatable version of you. It's not uncommon to cast one's mind back to better times, and more enjoyable versions of our lovers, once a relationship has hit the rocks. If he's looking back wistfully at better times with you it sounds like his mind just kept going back to better (or simpler) times in his life in general, hence the ex.

And perhaps the ex triggered a sexual memory and he went looking for porn to help satisfy that urge. That, again, isn't uncommon.

I think you're taking a very simple, relatively easy chain of thoughts and making huge mountains out of these simple molehills.

You don't have to like what he's doing (I wouldn't if it were my wife), but it's not all that difficult to understand what he's doing.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> He reached out to you. He reminded you of better times. Kinda clumsy way to go about it but I find this is typical of most men, *Gus excluded of course!*


:scratchhead:

Trust me, I'm as clumsy as they come. It's just that I've read her other threads.



Anon Pink said:


> No, you H is looking at porn and the woman just happened to be tall and skinny. Oh lord girl do you have any idea how porn is searched for? What was the action? That's how porn is searched for. Hard core, Asian school girl, naughty cheer leader, giant boobs... *Nobody searches for talk and skinny!* Okay well maybe a few do...
> 
> Nut and bolts, you are making a MOUNTAIN out of a mosquito bite!


*cough* curvy latinas


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

I appreciate everyone's input, especially the apple porn. If I didn't see recent news of people getting listeria from caramel apples, I might have went out just to get one. I'm pregnant, I crave things!

I think ultimately he was looking back at better times. Some with me, some not. It really is a grain of sand in our sandbox of issues. While it does irritate me, at least he didn't ACT on those fantasies and seek out another woman to fulfill his needs. I asked him about it again and he said, "I was drunk and I wanted to have sex."

so... there it is. He wanted to get laid. Hopefully this thread helps other women whose significant others are looking at women that are completely different than them. I'm sure I'm not the first.


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Anon Pink said:
> 
> 
> > He reached out to you. He reminded you of better times. Kinda clumsy way to go about it but I find this is typical of most men, *Gus excluded of course!*
> ...


I know I shouldn't even be worried about it, Gus. It's just one of a million problems.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

rrhouse said:


> I know I shouldn't even be worried about it, Gus. It's just one of a million problems.


Actually, I'd think that your primary concern would be this...



rrhouse said:


> He emailed me *an old video of us being intimate* and said, "Remember this?"


Sorry, but, given everything that you're shared w/ respect to your husband, it just seems like he could very well be the type of guy that wouldn't hesitate to share any pics, vids, etc that he has of you (or the two of you) pretty openly w/ his friends.

And, since it looks like the two of you are headed for a divorce, I wouldn't be at all surprised if at least some of it happened to wind up on a revenge porn site.

If you have any way of getting to and deleting those pics, vids, etc, you should probably do it.


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## rrhouse (Jun 10, 2014)

Lila said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> Sadly, what Gus describes is none too uncommon in cases of divorce. Unless you have a desire to be featured in the next "XXX Amateur Housewives" video, then I too suggest you delete every adult themed photo or video of you. Make sure you delete them from every electronic device he has access to including his phone.



That was actually my first thought when he sent me that email, and that's what send me digging through his web history- to make sure he wasn't posting things online. 
My face isn't in any of these videos or pictures, and I don't mean to be mean, but my H isn't very tech savvy. It would take some effort for him to figure out how to post this stuff. I'm not worried about it, but I appreciate the concern.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

rrhouse said:


> ...My face isn't in any of these videos or pictures, and I don't mean to be mean, but my H isn't very tech savvy.....


Actually with the huge advances in pattern recognition software there will come a time in the future when lots of pictures without faces can be matched with pictures of you (with or without a face) that are connected to your name and other identifying information.

There has already been an interesting court case where a woman did a porn video in a church where her face wasn't shown, but some of the angry townsfolks turned her into the police because they recognized the shape of her breasts and that she had access to that church.

Just because your face isn't showing doesn't mean you can't be recognized. It could be clothes, tatoos, or body shape and proportions.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Young at Heart said:


> Actually with the huge advances in pattern recognition software there will come a time in the future when lots of pictures without faces can be matched with pictures of you (with or without a face) that are connected to your name and other identifying information.
> 
> *There has already been an interesting court case where a woman did a porn video in a church where her face wasn't shown, but some of the angry townsfolks turned her into the police because they recognized the shape of her breasts and that she had access to that church.*
> 
> Just because your face isn't showing doesn't mean you can't be recognized. It could be clothes, tatoos, or body shape and proportions.


Must... not... Google...


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

OP sorry your feelings have minimised and pushed aside. 

I believe your feelings are normal and natural. I certainly don't think modern day porn is helpful or natural. 

Yes men might be inclined to look at lots if different women as women might be inclined to find the fittest strongest wealthiest man, however it's a choice. We can choose to turn back on our partner instead of looking to our spouse to fulfill our sexual desires and strengthen our bonds. 

I hope you get to sort out some of these issues soon.


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## Tubbalard (Feb 8, 2015)

What does curvy mean?....its too broad of a definition. You could be thin and curvy as well. To me its too vague of a description of someone's body size. Ive perused through many online profiles where a woman defines herself as curvy but is built like an ice box or a bag of mayonnaise. Not saying anyone here is like that but Im always cautious of that word.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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