# Front a friend $1000?



## rt8030 (Feb 4, 2016)

Need some advice, my husband's friend of 25 years asked him to go check out a custom car for him 2 hours from our house. His friend lives 3 states away. If he thinks it looks good, his friend asked him to put a down payment on it of $1000 and he'll send him a check.

He hasn't seen this friend for 20 years and being part of a auto transaction makes me nervous. I don't know his friend's financial situation at all.

Thoughts?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

The transfer of money is easy in this day and age. If the friend wants to put up 1000....he can easily use his own money


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## rt8030 (Feb 4, 2016)

I explained this to my husband last night. Everyone has a paypal account. He said his friend insists it to be cash.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

If he has not seen his friend in 20 years, then strong NO. If the car is really good, the friend can wire transfer money to your husband via Western Union or Walmart within an hour to put a deposit on it. If husband is going to travel the two hours, then he should locate a nearby money transfer spot prior to the trip, let his friend know and have friend on the phone while your husband looks at the car. Even better, the friend can wire transfer money to the car's owner, so your husband is only the inspector, not the financial middleman.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

rt8030 said:


> He said his friend insists it to be cash.


That makes no sense, unless the car is stolen.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

rt8030 said:


> Need some advice, my husband's friend of 25 years asked him to go check out a custom car for him 2 hours from our house. His friend lives 3 states away. If he thinks it looks good, his friend asked him to put a down payment on it of $1000 and he'll send him a check.
> 
> He hasn't seen this friend for 20 years and being part of a auto transaction makes me nervous. I don't know his friend's financial situation at all.
> 
> Thoughts?


Nope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

A lot of people are woefully ignorant regarding all of the myriad ways there are to transfer money from one person to another. So, the friend may simply not be really aware - never having had to think of it before - that he could transfer the $1000 in some other way than via a mailed check. 

That said, I think it's always a bad idea to loan money to friends or family. Chances are decent that they will be really slow paying you back, that you'll have to nag them to do so, and/or that they'll just never pay you back at all. It's a recipe for hard feelings and broken relationships. Much better to just assume any money you "loan" to a friend or relative is more in the nature of a gift. That way, if they do repay you, you're happily surprised. 

So, is this guy someone your husband would _give_ $1000 for the down payment on a car? If not, then I wouldn't advise fronting the money in hopes it will be repaid. It would be entirely acceptable, though, to work out some other transfer arrangement - if the seller is insisting on cash.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Are you sure the money is for a friend?

I agree with the others, there is no reason this guy can't PayPal or wire the money unless he doesn't have it. I have no problem with loaning money to friends but I don't ever loan out more than I am willing to lose. Decide if you can part with $1000 for good.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

This "favor" for someone he hasn't seen or spoken to in 20 years? 

No way! I wouldn't even answer his silly request.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Not without at least $2,500 in acceptable legal collateral upon the table!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rt8030 (Feb 4, 2016)

All good advice and sounds like every one of my arguments to him against it. I thought it was really an odd thing to ask him to do. Caused a huge fight when I said not a chance. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

rt8030 said:


> Need some advice, my husband's friend of 25 years asked him to go check out a custom car for him 2 hours from our house. His friend lives 3 states away. If he thinks it looks good, his friend asked him to put a down payment on it of $1000 and he'll send him a check.
> 
> He hasn't seen this friend for 20 years and being part of a auto transaction makes me nervous. I don't know his friend's financial situation at all.
> 
> Thoughts?


How about friend sends the $1000 to your H through PayPal, Google Pay, Android Pay or a whole host of others and then your H has the cash available. If the car is no good just send the money back. 

It's simple.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Tl;dr The husband says he needs to take $1000 cash and disappear for at least five hours. 

If he insists on doing this, then I think @kristin2349 might be right and something else is occurring.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Hasn't seen in 20 years? NOBODY asks that of a friend they haven't seen in 20 years.

Something else is going on. He is scamming you, or your husband's friend is scamming him.
NO DOUBT>


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

rt8030 said:


> Need some advice, my husband's friend of 25 years asked him to go check out a custom car for him 2 hours from our house. His friend lives 3 states away. If he thinks it looks good, his friend asked him to put a down payment on it of $1000 and he'll send him a check.
> 
> He hasn't seen this friend for 20 years and being part of a auto transaction makes me nervous. I don't know his friend's financial situation at all.
> 
> Thoughts?


Going against the crowd here. 

This all depends on how good a friend of 25 years this is AND how important a grand is in your life. I do have a small number of friends I'd do this for. I had one friend who has now passed who was an internet buddy through a hobby for many years. We'd met in person exactly twice in 20 years but carried on e-mail and discussion forum conversations all the time. He lived in Europe, many times over the years I purchased things for him and shipped them on, being reimbursed later.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

anonmd said:


> Going against the crowd here.
> 
> This all depends on how good a friend of 25 years this is AND how important a grand is in your life. I do have a small number of friends I'd do this for. I had one friend who has now passed who was an internet buddy through a hobby for many years. We'd met in person exactly twice in 20 years but carried on e-mail and discussion forum conversations all the time. He lived in Europe, many times over the years I purchased things for him and shipped them on, being reimbursed later.


:iagree:

It's so refreshing to hear the opinion of someone who looks for the best in people.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

If the OP said her husband and his friend have been in contact with each other thru email, FB etc all the time, then we would have given different advice. The husband is already offering his time and gas expense to travel for 5 or more hours to do this person a favorable. But a true friend would not make excessive demands of the husband, including the nonsensical instance on a cash transaction. Trust your gut.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Interac email...it's all the craze these days...I would be giving a resounding HELL NO.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
If you are able to potentially write off $1000 as the cost of a "life lesson", then go ahead. I have no idea if the friend will pay back, and you really don't either. 

I once wrote someone I barely knew a check for $50K to go into a partnership on an airplane. It was a calculated risk - if he wanted to rip me off, here was his chance. I was after all planning to risk my life and the lives of others in a piece of hardware that we were sharing. We have had no problems in the partnership. 

Honestly I can remember very few cases when someone has ripped me off.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> If you are able to potentially write off $1000 as the cost of a "life lesson", then go ahead. I have no idea if the friend will pay back, and you really don't either.
> 
> I once wrote someone I barely knew a check for $50K to go into a partnership on an airplane. It was a calculated risk - if he wanted to rip me off, here was his chance. I was after all planning to risk my life and the lives of others in a piece of hardware that we were sharing. We have had no problems in the partnership.
> ...


I was that partner last year for a business investment of 20k from someone else.

Haven't ripped him off yet (don't plan on it) and the business is thriving!

Sometimes a calculated risk IS worth it. In OPs case, I don't think this one is. Something is sketchy about the whole situation.

Cash denotes no paper trail which may mean something not quite up to legal standards...

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Something is fishy about his story.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> Something is fishy about his story.


Yep....it just sounds strange


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## rt8030 (Feb 4, 2016)

Absolutely nothing going on other than a car deal. I've seen the text messages and the pic of the car. Wow, I'm kinda surprised people might think other things are going on. I'm glad to read a few positive posts. Thanks for all the feedback.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

rt8030 said:


> I've seen the text messages and the pic of the car.


A paranoid person might say that the messages and pic were faked to mislead you. :smile2:

The comment about insisting on cash was odd and still makes no sense. But if you got what you needed, we are glad to help. Post a follow up to let us know if the friend bought the car or if you learned a $1000 life lesson.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

rt8030 said:


> Absolutely nothing going on other than a car deal. I've seen the text messages and the pic of the car. Wow, I'm kinda surprised people might think other things are going on. I'm glad to read a few positive posts. Thanks for all the feedback.


IMO I wouldn't do it. I only loan money I'm willing to walk away from (and can afford to do so). And I only loan to people I'm willing to *collect* from. So, I don't loan to friends or family generally. 

Everything else is a gift.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Does your husband work for a living? Is he a rational adult, normally responsible with family finances? If he's a grown, intelligent, trustworthy man, then let him front or not front the money as he sees fit. $1000.00 is a chunk of money but it wouldn't be enough to justify treating my adult wife like a child.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I only lend money I can afford to lose. So, if they don't return it, you are not in a bind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Did this friend just come out of the blue, contact your husband and ask for money? 

Have you been part of the conversations with the friend? Are you sure that he has actually had contact with this person?

When is your husband supposed to make this trip? How long would he be gone for it?

Have you checked your husband's phone bill to see if there is one number that he is in contact with talking and/or texting a lot?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

rt8030 said:


> Absolutely nothing going on other than a car deal. I've seen the text messages and the pic of the car. Wow, I'm kinda surprised people might think other things are going on. I'm glad to read a few positive posts. Thanks for all the feedback.


I've been scammed before by a 'friend' in a similar situation. My bet is that other's have as well. At least to me, the fact that it has to be cash is a red flag. 

The rule is to never loan money to friends or family. Just realize that it's usually a gift because few people ever pay it back.

The reason that some, myself included, think that something else might be going on is that almost every one of us used to be very trusting of our spouse.. until we stumbled on their cheating.

Of course it could be 100% on the up and up. Or he wants to do something with the $1,000 and does not want you to know what it is. So this is a good cover story. Who knows.

or it could be something else going on... and who knows what.

Unless it puts you in a financial bind, there really is nothing you can do. He's an adult and will do what he wants.

Do you work as well? Or is he the sole breadwinner?


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

rt8030 said:


> Absolutely nothing going on other than a car deal. I've seen the text messages and the pic of the car. Wow, I'm kinda surprised people might think other things are going on. I'm glad to read a few positive posts. Thanks for all the feedback.



I think what a lot of people are saying is that there could be a scam on the side of the friend, not necessarily your husband - maybe your husband is getting scammed? 

I'd be very careful about this.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

If the friend is buying a custom car from a business, the $1000 deposit should be done using a credit card. If it is a scam, the charge can be disputed and reversed.

If the car is being purchased from an individual, there is a risk that the seller will scam the friend or end up in some type of dispute with the friend. I would never turn over a deposit of this size without some type of written agreement signed by both parties. If may still be a scam, or not, but H should try to not only protect himself financially but also protect his friend. 

The point here is risk minimization, not how to be a good friend. Under no scenario is cash deposit a good idea.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

What you have are text messages saying <words> and a picture of a car that could have been taken by anyone, anywhere. For all you know, this friend is lying to your husband in order to get him to unwittingly participate in something illegal. 

No paper trail, no loan.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Must suck to suspect everyone.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

anonmd said:


> Must suck to suspect everyone.


I have a few friends who have been around for decades. I know what their situations are. If they asked me to loan them $1,000, I do it in a heart beat. And I would not expect the money back. If they did pay me back, that's cool.

If someone I have not seen or heard from for 20 years called me out of the blue asking for $1,000 cash, it's highly unlikely (99%) that I would give them $1,000. Why? They did not care enough about me for 20 years and now that they need some money they put pressure on me for it? Nope.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

It's probably not a good idea but I paid a couple thousand dollars to bail a friend out of jail once. He paid me right back but I knew he was good for it. If you know somebody a long time you usually know. I would not loan money to family but I will give it to them if they need it and not expect to get it back.


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