# First real relationship after divorce?



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

A quick up to speed, it has been 1 year 8 months since divorce after wife cheated. I was devastated. 
Now the present. I have dated a couple of times with no feeling at all developing. I now have started dating an amazing woman that makes me feel alive. Things have progressed quickly over the course of 1.5 months. We both feel that we are perfect for each other and have expressed this often.
Marriage has been talked about but we know that it is not possible right now but in the future is a possibility. 
Now my question from someone who has been here before. Is this to much too soon? We both express how we feel every day and see each other every day. I want this to last forever.
Any guidance is appreciated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Way too soon to be talking marriage when you've only been dating a month and a half. You barely know eachother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband met me the year he was divorced, roughly around 7 months after. They were separated a while before their divorce was final. I had been divorced for 4-5 years. 

Both my husband and I were emotionally disconnected with our exes before our divorces were final. I know I was and my husband stated he felt the same way. 

Our relationship together progressed very fast. I was not looking to get married or even date, but something was nagging me to at the back of my brain. My husband fell for me quicker then I did him, but he took it at my speed, which was relatively fast. I realized what an amazing man he was after a date or two and I knew this was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My husband and I spent all of our free time together. After 6 months of dating he proposed and we married 6 months after that. I moved in after our short honeymoon. 

We have been married over 12 years and we do have a fantastic marriage. We are two peas in a pod, best friends, lovers, a great team, ect.. Our feelings towards each other are mutual. We both discussed everything that was important to us before we married. We both knew what we wanted and learned from our previous marriages. 

We are on the same page as far as children, spending, meeting each others needs, affection, passion, boundaries, ect and we always put our marriage as our number 1 priority. I never thought I'd be this happy. Both my husband and I were really meant for each other. 

I don't know if you really can set a time limit in between relationships. Just make sure you can easily live with her faults and she can live with yours. My husband and I are both very laid back and we have the same outlook on how things should be, we have the same values and interests. Get to know her well and discuss everything. 

All I have to say is I'm very glad I went with my instinct on this and gave him my phone number(we were set up). I couldn't imagine my life without him. My husband was the first real relationship after my divorce. 

Good luck.


----------



## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

HEEELLL NO. WAAAY too early. 

It's great that you have finally moved on from your ex wife and found someone amazing, however it's only been a MONTH since you've been dating. The first month is always bliss, because you're infatuated with that person. I'd say wait a year +.

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

crumbs - marriage already? I mean by all means have a relationship and make it serious if you want but do you really want to jump back on the rollercoaster so soon?


----------



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

Thanks for your input. I would say we are just like you!


I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> My husband met me the year he was divorced, roughly around 7 months after. They were separated a while before their divorce was final. I had been divorced for 4-5 years.
> 
> Both my husband and I were emotionally disconnected with our exes before our divorces were final. I know I was and my husband stated he felt the same way.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

Not going to jump in. Just wondering about all the emotions. Very true about the first month or 2 being bliss. There is a lot to coordinate and as much as we think about it, time will tell the real truth of it all, if meant to be it is meant to be.


----------



## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Obviously there is no right or wrong answer to this question, but for the sake of discussion I have to say….. C’mon man. If someone would have proposed this question to you a year ago, you would have laughed at them. You are deep, deep, deep in the fog of a new relationship, so enjoy, but don’t rush into something. Firstly, what can’t you do now that you could do if you were married? Not that much if you think about it, sit back and enjoy the ride for awhile, before you get all serious. If you still feel the same way in a year, then propose to her and set a date for 6-12 months in the future. If it is real, you have the rest of your lives, so just enjoy the roses along the way.


----------



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

Thanks VFW another good point.
My big thing is that when we do not see each other we both describe that we get depressed and use the description that love hurts. I know that it has not been that long but why does it hurt so much?
I wake up and think of her, go to bed and think of her. She says the same thing. The happiest times are when we are together.
I have tried to date a couple other woman with no feelings like this.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

helpplease said:


> Thanks VFW another good point.
> My big thing is that when we do not see each other we both describe that we get depressed and use the description that love hurts. I know that it has not been that long but why does it hurt so much?
> I wake up and think of her, go to bed and think of her. She says the same thing. The happiest times are when we are together.
> I have tried to date a couple other woman with no feelings like this.


And that's invariably going to happen. I'm happy for you and envious at the same time fastly hoping for an end to my current marriage after some 18 months of separation and the discovery of longtime rampant cheating on the part of my STBXW.

Take your time, get to know her, and even move in together if you must. But give the marriage itself a little distance as the two of you need a lot more "together time."

I wish you well, my friend!


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

It's not too soon to be in love post-divorce but waaaay too soon to rush into anything permanent. See each other as often as you can but no talk of marriage. You can always live together for a while if you must. It takes a long time to see someone through good and bad to really be able to gauge them.


----------



## Clark G (Sep 5, 2012)

At this stage you should be smart enough to know what you want, how to spot it, that the beginning phase is full of excitement and love, and so forth.

Your divorce should have taught you how to go with your gut and identify someone that is right for you without settling.

too early? never too early to talk about serious things b/c there is no point wasting your time or theirs about a future. 

i think you are smart for asking the quesiton and seeking answers. I have been in your position and personally i always am weary of the lovey dovey phase as they call it. however with the knowledge i have gained via divorce, classes, life experience, etc. - who ever says the excitement and love you experience early on has to end? things will progress and your relationship will develop and change as you go but that doesn't mean you quit doinig the stuff you do early on.

just my thoughts from someone who has and is going through what you're going through.

Joe


----------



## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I met my husband just as my divorce happened. We were dating one month when I moved in. At three months he asked me to marry him. We have been together a year and a half. Things are still perfect. I wouldn't advise moving that fast. Really I took a big chance moving in with him after only a month. We are inseparable and he has never even spoken one harsh word to me. I realize moving this fast was a foolish thing to do. The fact that it worked out so well just means that I am lucky. Just the other day hubby says "things are perfect. We are like the Cleavers from Leave it to Beaver."


----------



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

Thanks so much everyone. I think that we just need to slow things down and just enjoy our time together.


----------

