# Did you ever lie to your wife?



## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Did you ever lie to your wife about a big thing like health, money, prior relationships including lying by omission? Why did you do it?


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I'll make tea said:


> Did you ever lie to your wife about a big thing like health, money, prior relationships including lying by omission? Why did you do it?


*No outright or deceptive lies to my rich, skanky XW regarding major issues!

I would, however, rarely tell her some "white lies," primarily to get her off of my butt, moreso about the performance of ranch and farm chores, general housekeeping, errands, et. al., chiefly because of her renowned reputation for strident micromanagement of other people's business!

In essence, I just felt that she had more important things to worry about! 

And evidently, she did! Things like sexting, talking, and FB'ing with her out-of-town BF's, covertly and strategically planning out her numerous overnight "business" roadtrips to go see them and get in a little "banging!"*


----------



## flyer (Jun 23, 2014)

I've never lied to her.
I don't volunteer ANYTHING I don't think she needs to know.
But, if she asks a question, I'll answer it truthfully.


----------



## koukisdad (Feb 6, 2015)

i have never lied on her ...

Until I discovered that she lied in every single promise she gave to me ;she never cheated on me ; but for me it is worse ;vowed to take care of me if I am sick ; turn back on first opportunity.

No matter how sincere a partener is ; if one suck the happiness from the heart ; lies will be a part of defense mechanism .


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

“Therefore I lie with her and she with me / And in our faults by lies we flatter’d be.” 
--William Shakespeare

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/opinion/sunday/good-lovers-lie.html?ref=opinion&_r=0


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She: "Did you see that woman with the ridiculously huge knockers on display?"

Me: "you know I don't look at other women." 
Truth: "I'm making motor boat sounds in my head about her right now." 

She: "I'm fat and disgusting"

Me: "No, Sweetie, I think you're gorgeous!"
Truth: mirrors and scales don't lie. 

She: "What do you think about these curtains?"
Me: "Yeah, those would be awesome!"
Truth: "We've been in this store 2 hours. Pick something."

She: "If I died, would you ever date or marry again?"
Me: "No"
Truth: "I'd be laying more cable than the phone company."


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Yes

I lied about getting hurt at work. 
I did it because I didn't want Her to worry about me...I don't know if she even would have to be honest

I wouldn't do something like that again. I learned that you can't really protect people by keeping things from them. You really are just protecting Yourself .


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Nope. I told her everything, probably too much. And I presumed she had been equally honest with me, which was not the case at all.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I've always been honest - but tactful. We can be honest with each other without creating problems. I think much lack of honesty is because the truth often receives an unpleasant reception, deserved or not. There's no advantage to honesty in many such circumstances.


----------



## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

Ok, I said it was 10 inches long, but that was an exaggeration!

She could have measured it if she really wanted to!

.
.
.


But, still, it WAS the biggest bluegill I ever caught!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yup. But I came clean about 17 years later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

flyer said:


> I've never lied to her.
> I don't volunteer ANYTHING I don't think she needs to know.
> But, if she asks a question, I'll answer it truthfully.


:iagree:

I, now, don't volunteer anything. If she asks me a straight question, sometimes I lie, depends on the question.

Sometimes lying is better because it saves unnecessary hurt.

'Were you stopped for speeding?'...'Noooooo'....


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> She: "Did you see that woman with the ridiculously huge knockers on display?"
> 
> Me: "you know I don't look at other women."
> Truth: "I'm making motor boat sounds in my head about her right now."
> ...


Yes, I can see how important it is to lie. With that amount of contempt for your wife, if you didn't keep it carefully hidden beneath a mask of lies, she might just decide to put you out of your misery and leave you.

Then where would you be?


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Yes, I can see how important it is to lie. With that amount of contempt for your wife, if you didn't keep it carefully hidden beneath a mask of lies, she might just decide to put you out of your misery and leave you.
> 
> Then where would you be?


Hopefully with the woman with the ridiculously huge knockers!


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

All the time. It's like a fun game to me now. In my defense it keeps things interesting having to remember all these ridiculous story lines, and long webs of deceit I've been weaving.

It's awesome!


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> Hopefully with the woman with the ridiculously huge knockers!


Well then he should do himself and his wife a huge favour and get to it.

Of course, other women may also be reluctant to be with someone who sees only a sex object to put down and ridicule, so that could be a problem.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

No


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Yes, I can see how important it is to lie. With that amount of contempt for your wife, if you didn't keep it carefully hidden beneath a mask of lies, she might just decide to put you out of your misery and leave you.
> 
> Then where would you be?


Sigh... you've never seen those old jokes? I've seen variations of what he posted more times than I can count.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I did my very best not to tell any lies, even white lies. I just do not have a good enough memory to remember them. I used to try to find a nice way to tel her I didn't like something or didn't want to do something. I think compromise is helpful in being honest. If two people respect and love each other, they will find ways to talk about the important things that will leave scars if given the harsh reality of stark honesty. If they have to lie, you aren't worth enough for them to spend the time thinking about it. If you think that's not true, it's easy enough to say that we can talk later and then follow up. Sometimes things don't mean that much, and it's easy just to agree. I think it's a snowball effect that must be kept in check. 

I appreciated the article and realize that much of what he wrote was simply for his benefit. He was feeling a little down for what he did to his wife, compromising his integrity. He is working hard to justify so he feels better. No one is perfect. It's likely everyone has told a lie or two. It doesn't have to be a habit. Good communication skills will serve you better in a marriage. Each opportunity to lie, is an opportunity to discover something new about yourself and the one you love. Seems like a shame to waste those.


----------



## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

I was accused of lying to my wife, and I guess I did.

When her incident occured, we ended up rug sweeping it basically. I told her I was over it. I wasn't. Not by a stretch. Every deployment, every detachment, every work up cycle, I always wondered if I was coming back to divorce papers because she had cheated again. It has eaten me for years.

Recently, we had other problems, and it all exploded again. I never dealt with it the right way the first time, so I am basically doing that now. She feels like I lied to her all these years. I guess she is right. At the time, I didn't though.....I didn't even realize how to deal with it. I thought, in my mind, that I was fine, or at least over it.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'll make tea said:


> Did you ever lie to your wife about a big thing like health, money, prior relationships including lying by omission? Why did you do it?


I omit all the time.

Because:










EDIT: BTW, not you, "them", just the quote... you know... bah, you know how it is with gifs/meme...

I did my best to prepare ex-wife/gfs for certain revelations before revealing it to them, somethings don't need to be revealed at all. When they ask me straight up however, I don't lie about big stuff, small stuff sure, not like I'm going to say "of course you're fking fat!"

Wait... I just lied, ok, I do lie about prior relationships (didn't lie to ex-wife though about it, she could handle it)...

Omission though, I don't see anything wrong with it, for instance, have tons of issues at work or some such, what good will it do to lay it on my wife?
Wife: "How's work?"
Lie: "Great!"
Truth: "Job turned out to be a loss of 5K"
Plan: Wife doesn't need to hear about it, situation will be fixed the next day/week.

But using your example, where I do lie/omit in regards to prior relationships, what's the point, it's over, why does my new gf have to know all about the sex life and sh-t I used to do with my exs and drive herself to insecurity and crap? Better to just tell BS as the saying goes; ignorance is bliss.

Seriously, although transparency is great, not everything needs to be bloody shared.


----------



## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

My dad used to say buy a boat. Then you can be anywhere you want to be for a couple days and out of reach with no questions asked. Just come back tan. (This was before the age of cell and satellite phones).


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Not sure if lying, but I have withheld things, because as a prior poster mentioned, she can't handle the truth. A lot of times I just keep my mouth shut (I know this isn't the best thing to do) because it's easier for me that way. For example, if she mentions something her dumbass, PITA, drama queen sister does, I just don't say anything unless it requires a response, then it's a very short, vague reply, even though I want to say that she's a total dumbass, PITA drama queen. If I say what I think, she'll get upset (she's afraid of the sister for some reason). Best just to keep my mouth shut and if I have to say something, make sure it's at the appropriate time.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'll make tea said:


> Did you ever lie to your wife about a big thing like health, money, prior relationships including lying by omission? Why did you do it?


I realize I didn't fully answer this question. In our first year together, we were having terrible fights that got really loud and emotionally damaging.

After one really bad fight, we decided to end it. We broke up. I was devastated and went out and got drunk. One of the woman at work, a casino, started drinking with me and after I was so smashed I couldn't even see straight, she took me to her apartment and we had sex twice.

When I finally sobered up in the early hours of the morning, I left and returned to the apartment I was sharing with the future Mrs. Conan. As I looked at her sleeping, I felt as cold as death and realized that it was a huge wrong to break up and even worse, to have had drunken sex.

The next day we made up and I told the co-worker that we could never be anything. She told me she was ok with it but let me know that sex was on the menu anytime I wanted it, no strings attached. I never saw her again.

I didn't tell my then GF because I didn't want to hurt her, I felt embarrassed and it wasn't technically cheating.

We were married 3 years later and were very successful. After 17 years, it simply wore on me and I felt it was in the way of us becoming closer. I confessed, crying very hard. It wasn't cheating but felt like it and I needed her to know. She forgave me and we have become closer and stronger since.

I confessed about 5 years ago.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Year ago when I was a youngster, I got a little hurt at work, and had to work answering the phone. I was with there with an old timer that really knew the ropes.

The first thing he told me is that if a woman claiming to be a wife or girlfriend calls wanting to know if so-and-so is at work for the night, never tell if the guy has called in sick or taken off. Just say, "Let's see...he's on the lineup, can I take a message."

Sure enough within a couple days such a call came in. The guy had taken the night off. I gave the line about taking a message, and she said, "No don't bother".


----------

