# Neep opinions on how to handle teenager



## SandyM (Jan 15, 2009)

Teens are sooo exhausting.
My current problem child is 16, has great grades.... excellent grades, in top 7% of her class, is a cheerleader. 
I had problems with her experimenting with cigs in middle school and so I thought I was done. Boy was I wrong.
I have recently found out through some of her texts that she and other friends have been drinking with guys at various houses. She recently tried pot, and is sleeping around. 
I felt like I have been punched in the stomach when I found out. How my baby is sweet and innocent in front of me and has this whole other side to her. She is grounded #1 and I don't know when that will be lifted. I want suggestions from others out there that have been through this. I just want to lock her up and never let her out but I know I can't be too extreme. 
I know all kids will try to experiment with things but I can't just sit back and allow it. I am also not happy with the parents that have allowed this underage drinking to happen at their house.
Any suggestions are appreciated, I have talked to my mom about a portion of it, and couldn't bring myself to tell her all of the details.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Use logic. Explain that it's your job to police her right now because she's still developing and it's been proven that kids don't develop all their neural pathways (that allow them to make good decisions) until they're at least 20. Therefore, it's your job to monitor their decisions.

Also, now that she has lost your trust, it will be up to her to regain that trust. You will give her ways to prove herself, and she can choose to achieve them. If she doesn't, well, then, it's going to be a lonely school year, stuck at home without tv and computer and phone.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

SandyM said:


> I am also not happy with the parents that have allowed this underage drinking to happen at their house.


Contact those parents and inform them that if you hear of your daughter drinking in their house again you will contact the police. They are putting themselves in legal and liability jeopardy.

Having gone through the teen years with ours you will need to realize you cannot control them. But you can educate them on the risks they are taking with both the drinking and sex. You can also make them very aware of what is acceptable and that if they are caught breaking the rules there will be consequences and you need to effectively enforce those. All teens test the boundaries and experiment during these years. Be consistent, fair and hope for the best.


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