# I think it's time for me to go..



## unhappyinLove (Apr 4, 2013)

I haven't been married long but over the last several months I have been resentful of my marriage. I never thought that after I married him it would be something I would regret but he's changed and it's for the worse.

I feel like he takes advantage of me. I cook, clean, pack his bags for the gym, visit him to bring him lunch at work, send his family flowers when he forgets and pay rent. He has never tried to help me with the cooking or cleaning. My finger is broken and he still didn't even touch the dishes so I had to wash them with a broken finger which hurt a lot  If I let our home get dirty he starts complaining. I also do a lot of small things like draw him baths etc.. He never does any of that for me anymore though he used to.

What really set me off is something that happened yesterday. I picked up an air freshener for the home. He called me out on it saying I was an F-word inconsiderate C-word for not consulting him first. I started to cry in the store and he just made fun of me for it. Today he is angry at ME for how I reacted. He's also angry because I didn't make him dinner or draw him a bath last night.

Frankly in my mind I'm done. I have only grown more resentful of him. I love him very much but I just don't like the person he is anymore. I swear he was never like that before we married.

He has said mean things to me before this but I really felt like I really hit my limit. He has also hit me before and has left bruises all over my arms and I had to lie to people about them. After the first time he hit me I swore if he ever did it again I would leave but I didn't leave the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. 

I'm not sure I want to bring up separation or divorce because I still love him very much and I am hoping I can bring out the original person I married. I am also worried he may get violent.

I am just so sad all the time.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Dont even bring it up, just GO. He is an abuser and it will only get worse.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Please leave and watch out for yourself. Please tell your family the truth so that they can help you. I would not normally suggest that someone leave without telling their spouse, but in your case you need to do it for safety reasons. Don't see him alone and don't let him verbally abuse you. If he starts leave, hang up the phone. If you need to get a protection order. Don't fall for him saying he's going to change, he will have to prove it first, and it takes time and therapy and may not work.

If you need to seek help please do so, nothing wrong with it. Set an example, don't let him continue to abuse you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Please get help. You're being abused. Find out why you're willing to accept this behavior, and don't say it's because you "love him". It's like having a dog that bites you everytime you pet it, but you "love it". Read up on abused women. Get out of that environment before it gets worse. 

You need to make sure you understand your thoughts to make sure this doesn't happen again. Otherwise you'll just be posting in here again in a few years time. 

How long did you date before you got married? How old are the two of you?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unhappyinLove (Apr 4, 2013)

We dated for about 2 years. I'm in my early 20's and he's in his early 40's.

I don't understand what I did wrong to make this marriage so bad and make him so angry at me.


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## ngonza (Nov 8, 2012)

Sorry Baby... your a lot younger then my daughter whom is 29. I feel bad that you are in love with a creepy, mean, manipulating, verbally abusive man..he is older and knows exactly what he does and says..he sees you cry and I bet he wont hold you! I know he will sit back and let you hurt inside. I will say a prayer in the hopes you leave him and don't look back..It will hurt but you are young and have a long way to go ! Please dont be sad, lonely and feel you need to be loved by someone whom doesnt love you back the same way..xoxo


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You likely didn't do anything wrong except ignore a bunch of abuse warning flags while dating. And dating/marrying someone twice your age... But this is why you need to fix your people picker after you're safely away from this abusive relationship. So you understand how to avoid it in the future. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongRoadtoRuin (Apr 3, 2013)

Unhappy, even if it was just one 1/10 of what you spoke of, his treatment of you is a complete deal breaker! Enlist all the support you can and please don't lie about physical abuse you are suffering. I hope you will post agin as you will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

I will add to the chorus of "get out now"

Go to a safe place. Spread the news so that everyone is aware of what he's about; this will help keep you protected. 

Good lord, if my wife was half as attentive as you ....

You've done nothing wrong and there is nothing you can do to improve the situation. You got married to a bad apple, plain and simple.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

You've should of left yesterday. You bet your husband is abusive. Like it's stated above, be very careful when you leave and always watch your back. You have no idea what he is capable of doing.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I am hoping I can bring out the original person I married.


Unfortunately, *THIS* IS the person you married. He pretended to be nice long enough to marry you.

If you look at his background, you'll find that you are NOT the first woman he has hit/beaten up.

Get out NOW. He is SHOWING you WHO HE REALLY IS. He's an abuser and a manipulator.

Once you're out, read "Who's Pulling Your Strings" by Harriet Braiker and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, two books I HIGHLY recommend for you.


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## lost soul (May 20, 2009)

uhm WOW , , , draw him a bath ! ! ! REALLY and he hit's you ! ! ! please tell me you got a older brother or cousins , , , if so tell them please cause this fool needs a blanket party.


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## JohnDoe2012 (Nov 29, 2012)

He will never change. He is an abuser. You need to leave him.


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## Ms. What-to-do? (Apr 8, 2013)

Abuser. Leave. Be strong. Stay safe.


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