# Depressed and lonely



## SignOfLife (Aug 13, 2014)

Just sitting here eating a whole box of Butterfinger bites....in misery as I continue for the umpteenth time,day, month on when and how to end it with my 9 year long relationship. I just keep holding on and holding on for my son. Just living and acting normal. But night time gets me down when its quiet and Im alone. ---just thoughts.


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## CarlaRose (Jul 6, 2014)

You're going to have to do it to get yourself out of this funk before you gain 50 pounds or more.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Excercise when you get the funk. Go to plan "hot"!!! Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## asdfjkl (Sep 26, 2015)

SignOfLife said:


> I continue (...) on when and how to end it with my 9 year long relationship. I


Hello

I do understand how you feel and I can only hope you will find the answer. 
But the way I see it, you phrased the wrong question.

Your problem is not the "how and when". These are two technical questions that can be answered by using a calculator (for the money part) and a calendar (to find a date that fits the money part).

You are in misery because you want to leave but cannot. Your question should be:

Do I REALLY WANT to leave? If the answer - after long thinking and discussions with a councellor or a friend - is yes, then decide on the date and do it.

An even better question would be: Why can I NOT leave?

I noticed that even if you decide to do it, if you have unfinished business, you will not be able to walk away - at least I couldn't. That's why I am now digging even deeper into my case.

But be honest: You need to make up your mind if you REALLY WANT to leave or why you can NOT leave.

If you have an answer to either of those questions, then you are set to go/or stay.

Regards

asdfjkl


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## SignOfLife (Aug 13, 2014)

Im going to post a new topic in a bit.... I have some questions. 

I want to leave (well I would stay in my own home) as I am the only one that can afford to. There are so many reasons why I dont only WANT to leave but should based on concept of marriage. 

Why I cant leave at this time. I am extremely pissed off, I am pissed off that I am being put in the situation to even have to come to the decision to leave. I am pissed off that my husband can no longer follow the vows of marriage. There is no for "Better or Worse" with him, he is judgemental. There is no in "Richer or Poorer" with him, he has separate banks and I have know clue what money he has, he only pays 2 bills and I pay everything else to include the Mortgage at $1450/mo. 
Im pissed that he cant just love me, and want me, and be kind to me and cherish me, and take care of me. 
Everything about him and his actions and words makes it apparent that he is fine on his own with my son by his side. 
There is no "In sickness and health", I am a war Vet and have multiple issues one being a damaged foot with chronic pain and PTSD. I suffer from anxiety and fatigue a lot. I work my but off through it all and come home to an empty house daily. I go to bed in pain and lonely just to get up early again the next day and do it all over again. 
My house had gone to crap because I was literally so exhausted after work every day, so I finally had my best friend come to live with me for now and help me. (and he hates her) He hates her because bad choices she made in the past. But for me she is a lifeline of help and someone to talk to , something I dont have with him...
anyways...Im gonna make a new topic for my other thoughts. and I dont think I will get fat from eating the chocolate I have always been a pretty smaller lady lol. But thank you everyone for your thoughts !


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

So why don't you leave?


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

turnera said:


> So why don't you leave?


Good question. IN THIS situation. I just wish we would start educating young engaged couples about, for lack of a better phrase, walk-away-wives and the idiot husbands that have ZERO CLUE it's happening. BEFORE it's leaving time.

The specific mix of your complaints are different. The way no two snowflakes are exactly the same. For some women it's drugs. Some, porn. Neglect. Emotional abuse. Physical abuse. He's too fat. He's too skinny. He Smells. He doesn't lift a finger around the house. He's a neat freak. Too controlling. Too much of a doormat. And on and on. Read up on this forum alone. Don't look at the differences, the specifics. Look at how your marriage is just like 60+% of all the others. You just can't stand him any more. 

And he has NO CLUE.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

I'm curious, what is the story behind your best friend moving in with you, whom your husband does not like? What kind of past mistakes has she made?

I ask because I've seen situations like this where a toxic friend enters the picture and helps break up a marriage. Usually it's not intentional, but it can be. Is your friend single? Does she have a history of making poor choices or not being responsible?


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