# Name on my house



## Kevino (Jun 20, 2018)

Ok so my fiance live with me and helps pay half of the bills.
Now she is getting upset because I won't put her name on the dead to my house until we get married.
I have equity in this house and I'm just trying to save my but in case something happens before we get married 
Am I wrong?


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Is she paying half the mortgage? If so, return her money and do not have her pay towards the mortgage until her name is on the house.

Until then, perhaps she can pay "rent".


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

Kevino said:


> Ok so my fiance live with me and helps pay half of the bills.
> Now she is getting upset because I won't put her name on the dead to my house until we get married.
> I have equity in this house and I'm just trying to save my but in case something happens before we get married
> Am I wrong?


No you're not wrong. If you're not married yet her name should not be on your house. Furthermore, if she's getting upset about this now, I don't know if I'd add her name even after the wedding without a prenup


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## Kevino (Jun 20, 2018)

That's what I told her. It's like paying rent
You'd be paying a hell of a lot more living by yourself


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Did you ask your STB what the rush is?


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## Kevino (Jun 20, 2018)

She just saying, I'm putting work in on this house. I should have something to show for it.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

This is the lawyer in me talking but make sure you have documented the exact amount of equity you own up to the minute before you're married. Only equity acquired after that is a marital asset. Everything before belongs only to you. Make sure that's documented.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I don't think you should put her on the mortgage until you're married. If this was just a roommate, they would pay rent without any expectation of being on the mortgage. Once you're married, it won't matter since it will be joint property. It only matters if you break up before the marriage, as it would be more complicated to get her off the deed. And even if you wanted to add her, it's not trivial. There is official paperwork and fees to be paid. The mortgage company may want to review her credit.

More concerning is that it's a very big warning sign that she would be worked up over something that is so petty. It may indicate that she's a control freak or maybe that she's always keeping score of each person's contribution to the relationship. One thing to keep in mind is that problems like these tend to get worse after marriage. So if someone is a control freak, they will often become more of a control freak the longer the relationship goes on (controls all the finances, controls how to parent the kids, etc). Obviously we only know this tiny bit, but just something to keep in mind.


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

Kevino said:


> She just saying, I'm putting work in on this house. I should have something to show for it.


LOL, It doesn't work like that. Right now I'm in the middle of my divorce. Being that we bought our house from her parents, giving them a small down payment and just taking over the mortgage and then later refinancing to have both our names put on the deed and mortgage. Both of our names have been on the deed and mortgage now for 10 years and we've been paying the mortgage for 14 years, and now she's claiming that since her parents "gave" us the house, that I'm not entitled to any of the equity in the house LOL.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

the "get something out of it" comment grabs my attention. What would she be "getting" out of it if you were married? Sounds like she is already thinking about how much $ it's worth and that she could "get"?


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I just read your other thread. Oh boy, suspected drug use? Definitely don't put her on the mortgage. I'm also questioning why you would want to go forward with marriage with her attitude like it is. Regardless of any drug issue, her attitude will likely bring many problems to a marriage.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Kevino said:


> She just saying, I'm putting work in on this house. I should have something to show for it.


Why does gold digger come to mind? If your STB is having issue with this before marriage, what other issue will materialize after marriage?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

wilson said:


> I just read your other thread. Oh boy, suspected drug issue? Definitely don't put her on the mortgage. I'm also questioning why you would want to go forward with marriage with her attitude. Regardless of any drug issue, her attitude will likely bring many issues.


You can put her on the mortgage... that is just a loan. It is the deed she needs to stay off of if there is suspected drug use or any other gut feeling this ain't right.


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## Kevino (Jun 20, 2018)

The deed is what she is wanting to be on


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Nope, I think you're being smart about this.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Kevino said:


> The deed is what she is wanting to be on


Of course...then the property is in part hers. That is all well and good....after marriage. There are zero guarantees in life other than death and taxes. There has been many who even on the day of the wedding call it off. Personally, no, not until after marriage. If she takes issue with that...I would rethink your position. Furthermore, her having this thought is a bit odd IMO. Has she asked if she is the beneficiary on your life insurance policy or 401K yet?


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

jlg07 said:


> the "get something out of it" comment grabs my attention. What would she be "getting" out of it if you were married? Sounds like she is already thinking about how much $ it's worth and that she could "get"?


Putting myself in Kevino's GF's shoes, I would look at what I was paying. If it was a real bargain rent-wise, I'd consider it rent and keep my mouth shut. OTOH, if I was paying half of the mortgage w/ nothing to show for it if Kevino dumped me or met an untimely end, I would feel taken advantage of.

I did see his other thread and I would not put someone I thought was an addict on my deed, but the fact that someone is an addict is also not an excuse to take advantage of her. 

So my answer is, charge her a rent she'd feel ok walking away from w/ nothing to show for it.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I don't know if you realize it or not, but you are skirting the main issue here, which is her LYING to you and her possible ADDICTION.

Bottom line: At this point in time, this woman is NOT marriage material. You are either dragging your heels about making a solid decision out of fear or merely trying to take the path of least resistance.

Neither of those actions will work. Sure, you can keep asking these questions, but the real question should be, "Do I want to marry a woman who I feel is being less than honest and transparent with me?"

Because right now, like it or not, if you marry WHAT IS, you are in for a butt-load of trouble. Seriously.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Kevino said:


> She just saying, I'm putting work in on this house. I should have something to show for it.


She's putting work into the house to get something out of it? That right there concerns me. What exactly does that mean? We put money into our home, because we live here and it makes it nicer for us to enjoy our home, not because we are planning to get something out of it. It sounds to me like she is making your relationship into a financial transaction.

Based on that and the other revelations that have been made on this thread about her potential drug abuse and the fact that you obviously don't trust her, why would you even consider putting her name on the deed to your home? I ask this in all sincerity; have you considered seeing a therapist? You are living in a relationship with someone you don't trust and you are feeling pressured into doing something you don't want to do. Why are you with someone like that? And why would you even consider putting her on the deed to your most valuable asset?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Kevino said:


> Ok so my fiance live with me and helps pay half of the bills.
> Now she is getting upset because I won't put her name on the dead to my house until we get married.
> I have equity in this house and I'm just trying to save my but in case something happens before we get married
> Am I wrong?


How long has she been living in your home?

What the date of your planned wedding?

What work has she done on the home that she thinks entitles her to equity?

How much money, besides paying her rent, has she put into the home that you own?


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I just have to chime in. IMHO, if you marry this woman, you need to start planning for the divorce now. I firmly believe if she is this wound about being on the deed before marriage, that is a sign she is in this for the WRONG reasons!!!!!

Here is a mental check I had with my ex, that had me holding the brakes on the whole deal. Assume you are injured or incapacitate in some way, and your SO has complete control of your finances. Will this person make prudent and responsible financial decisions that are inline with how you would handle things? If not, and there is concern there, RUN!!!

It is a VERY hard thing to hear about someone you are engaged to, I know!!!!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Kevino said:


> The deed is what she is wanting to be on


Dude, NO!

I've got knots in my stomach just reading this thread! Please seriously reconsider legally entangling yourself with this woman.


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