# need help on suspicions



## simon8989 (Aug 5, 2013)

My story has so many layers (as do much of yours obviously). I am going to save you all the gut feelings and suspicious reactions and try to give just the facts:

~Found 2 text messages, 5 months apart from a scan on her phone asking for "handjob" for cash. The first one simply asked to which she replied "who is this. The other one asked if this was [her name] to which she responded yes and then he said a friend gave him her number.

~Found a gmail account that she said "she hasn't checked in years". About a year and half ago it was "hacked" and a facebook account using her name was created and connected to it. Also was a youtube account connected. 600+ emails all from youtube and fb. The fb account friended about 18 people (who didn't know her) all from a particular school in England and appeared to be abandoned.

~Fake facebook account was created the day i left for a rare 3 day business trip.

~Google dash showed 900+ "total conversations" in which only the 600 could be detailed.

~her dashboard search history showed being in and out of the account over the entire time, but the searches were definitely hers and dont match the browser history so it had to be logged on to from a different device.

~Google account also had 1 email from a guy and was a picture of [his] junk. Upon researching this guy he is a computer/gaming geek from Reno. I also found a business under his name with the SIC code for Escort Services. 

~the day after i make the discovery our home modem was broken.

~When any of these items are brought up, she just says "i dont know" and maintains she is 100% innocent.

The extra layers is that i am bipolar and this triggered a manic episode that I am just now becoming level from. She has everyone convinced I have created the whole thing and should have no reason to doubt her but regardless i have been forced to back burner the issue but my mania is going away but this issue is clearer than ever. I don't have any "proof" and living with this doubt is eating me up. 

Thanks for an honest constructive advice. If you have ?s ill try to answer.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Someone could be messing with the two of you.

Is there anyone with the tech expertise who is that into hurting you both?

Think carefully. Think clearly. All might not be what it seems.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Too many coincidences.

She is too nonchalant.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Will_Kane said:


> Too many coincidences.
> 
> She is too nonchalant.



What he said.


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## Thebes (Apr 10, 2013)

I would be very suspicious, cheaters don't tell the truth and will try to convince you its all in your head unless you put evidence right in front of their face. Like pictures of them with that person.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Can you keylog the PC?


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## jules1990 (Jun 13, 2013)

After the weekend I have had I no longer believe there is such a thing as coincidence when it comes to infidelity.

FB, YT, gmail all connected all logged into and active since being opened, I smell a rat here!

Be honest about this and I am not meaning with her, do you want to end it?? answer yes bail out now or answer no and begin by dropping in her eyes any snoopings take your snooping underground and just monitor from a distance, phone and computer, but be warned a no could end up being a yes as far as leaving her goes when you discover the truth.

Good luck with that though.


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Keep a cool head. You already dropped the ball by confronting too soon and without rock solid evidence.

Formulate a good plan. Collect evidence. When you have irrefutable evidence then confront.

Or it could be nothing. Do your homework.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Is she your girlfriend or wife? With you being diagnosed as bipolar and if she is a girlfriend.....is all this worth your health?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## simon8989 (Aug 5, 2013)

richie33 said:


> Is she your girlfriend or wife? With you being diagnosed as bipolar and if she is a girlfriend.....is all this worth your health?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


wife of 10 years, kids are 8 and 4. so I have a lot to lose if I'm wrong. kids are my #1 priority so if I could make the thoughts go away I would.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I think you have more to lose if your actually right about all this.I hope for the sake of you, wife and kids your wrong about all this. But you are finding a lot of red flags.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

The thing is, the thoughts won't just go away.

That is your own self preservation kicking in. Your mind is screaming at you that something bad and dangerous for you is going on.

Only knowing the true facts and dealing with them will allow you to get out of this mental hell.

Putting your head in the sand like an ostrich and suppressing these thoughts in the name of 'preserving' your family will not work.

That course of action will only lead to years of misery as the doubts and fears in your mind eat away at you and the M.

Do not let yourself rugsweep this.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Simon,

Sorry you are hear. I am bipolar as well so I always question why I feel certain ways. You don't need to question facts. Facts are facts. She could have had her account hacked or she could be cheating or doing something rather demented...

There is only one way to know if it is really bothering you. You might want to install a key logger on your PC and phone. As you are married, I am saying your as in your joint phone and pc, namely the one she uses most.

I am sorry you are here. There are lots of red flags and I really hope it is nothing but I doubt it is. Don't let her know you are looking so she will let her guard down and you will know the truth.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Does she go out without you?

Is her phone glued to her side?

Do you have the passwords to her social accts?

Did you save the number of the fellow wanting the handjob?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

In yahoo and google you can see where the connections were made from. Check the ip addresses and locations logged in from and that should help you to prove whether she is doing this and hiding it from you or telling the truth about the hacking. 

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## simon8989 (Aug 5, 2013)

First let me thank all you with helpful questions/advice. For the first time i feel like im not on an island dealing with this. Here is some answers and more info.

the HJ # is no longer in service and I haven't tried to dig deeper. 

there is no trail of logon info going back that far from what I can find. Only a search history while logged on to the google account (something that seemed to be missed during the "cleanup"). The search history is def hers but there are chunks of time missing (sometimes months) indicating the account had been logged in and out of. 

There have been tons of PC cleaners ran on our home PC over the last couple of years.

During school the browser she used had large school related activity. Then nothing for a 4 day span and then the school activity started up. Those 4 days, i was on another rare work trip

She does go out (not at night) without me and at the time of this stuff occurring she would have long shopping trips an 2 hour trips to the gym which are apparently both red flags as well. Also during this time she was taking online courses and 2-3 days a week my youngest would go to daycare while the older was in school so she could have time to study.

Part of me does think it may be an online chat type thing, maybe even for $. She grew up very poor and is obsessed with financial security even though I make good money, more than she has ever known. She has an aunt (defacto mom since her real monk died at 10) who has a judgment against her for scratching all the lottery tix at the store she ran) from 1999 that she still has to pay on and she is broke and has health issues as well.

told you - many layers


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

You have enough red flags to warrant going into full stealth mode. Any reasonable minded person would think so.

Step back, take a deep breath, and be cool with her. Don't let on that you have any more suspicions. Educate yourself on all the tools and methods at your disposal in the mean time. 

Keylogger on her pc, spyware on her phone, monitoring her cell phone records, VAR in her car, text recovery software on her cell - these are all good ideas.You can get a lot of help here with that.

But don't confront her again without SOLID evidence.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

badmemory said:


> You have enough red flags to warrant going into full stealth mode. Any reasonable minded person would think so.
> 
> Step back, take a deep breath, and be cool with her. Don't let on that you have any more suspicions. Educate yourself on all the tools and methods at your disposal in the mean time.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Be cool, calm. You need more evidence or hopefully you find nothing.


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