# No Sex



## Sophy (Jan 20, 2012)

Can anyone help me, i've been married for 32 years and i have totally lost any desire for sex with my wonderful husband!!!!
How can i get back to wanting him?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i applaud you for seeking help

couple of questions:

- has your husbands physical appearance changed drastically, such as excessive weight gain?
-is he still showing strong interest in meeting your needs, physical and emotional?
-have you been checked out thoroughly by a doctor or have you sought help from a professional specifically for dwindling desire?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Sexual desire can be killed by many things such as resentments, emotional/physical abuse, a spouse who has let him/herself go physically, hormonal issues, an extra-marital relationship, etc. Are there any of these issues present in your marriage?


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## Sophy (Jan 20, 2012)

Thank you for your reply, i really want to sort this out, no he has not changed only got older like myself! He is a very kind wonderful man.
No i have not been to my doctor.


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## Sophy (Jan 20, 2012)

Morituri, i guess there are some emotional problems but why would that stop any sexual feelings?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi Sophy ~

You don't say your age, but you do say you have been married 32 years. Have you gone through menopause? The reason I ask is because a lot of times the hormonal fluctuations leading up to menopause and then those hormones 'flat-lining' during menopause itself can cause changes in women, both physical and mental.

Loss/lack of desire is often the number one sexual complaint that women have - it is not that uncommon. And as has been pointed out before, there are often many things that may contribute to that loss. Physical changes - such as illnesses, pregnancy, post-partum, nursing, menopause - Emotional issues - such as depression, inhibitions/repressions, low self-esteem - Relational issues - such as fighting, resentments, anger - all can contribute to how we feel about our partners and how we desire them.

Sometimes, especially as a woman, it may take us having a different perspective and outlook toward our sex lives. Taking responsibility for moving it forward, working the issues that we have, being willing to be generous lovers with our husbands. In otherwords, sometimes, especially as we get older - it can be our attitude about it that makes all the difference.

Here's a wonderful thread from a poster here who has been married over 50 years. She admits that her best years for sexual intimacy in her marriage have been those after she turned 50! Some food for thought there to ponder. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/8487-51-years-till-death-do-we-part-my-love-then-grab-me-you-go.html

Best wishes.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Sophy,
By loss of desire do you mean that you:
1. Don't start out feeling desire or
2. Cannot get aroused even when you let him try to warm you up





Sophy said:


> Thank you for your reply, i really want to sort this out, no he has not changed only got older like myself! He is a very kind wonderful man.
> No i have not been to my doctor.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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