# She kicked me to the curb, and now she wants me back.



## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

To bring you all up to speed...

She kissed another man, I move out. She asks me not to move back in for a while. I attempted dates with her for several weeks, all the mean while she would be talking about him, and texting him while we are on our dates. We go to marriage counseling, and she still hadn't broken off contact. I finally say, screw it, I am done and start the paperwork for a divorce.

A month later, before it is actually filed- she is now pleading for me not to do this, and she misses me. Just last week, I learned that she had sex with the other man, but all the meanwhile she is talking to him about how she wants to make this marriage work, and she only did that because she 'knew I wasnt coming back'

She asked me if there was someone, and I told her, that there was someone that I wanted to pursue, and that I am not changing my position on the divorce. She flips the heck out, yelling at me that I have moved on to soon, and I am throwing the marriage away for this other woman. Yet, she has sex with the man that she cheated on me with, just the prior few days.

What in the hell kind of mind games is she trying to play? :scratchhead:


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

It's called gaslighting.

She figures a nonsense argument will create enough cover for her BS that you will forget the details and why you are divorcing in the first place -- her cheating!


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes true. She just has to keep saying that it's your fault the marriage failed, and in her mind it _will_ be your fault, and to most of your friends-in-common it will be your fault.

Your response is "I moved on long after you did; when we no longer had a marriage for me to stay part of, I started looking around. You cheated on a husband who loved you; I just tried to pick up the pieces after my wife left me."


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## beninneedofhelp (Nov 24, 2009)

all id like to no is how do you do that cause in my situation i dont believe there is anyone else yet i cant get her to give me a chance either what did you do to get her to want you again instead of anything else cause id love to no some answers on that i have a few posts on my situation if you would care to read them and list some advise lol i really dont no what to do at this point and i dont sleep for nothing anymore its all scattered and where i thought pain would lessen over time its gotten worse each week i feel like a car wreck that was ran over twice by a freaking sherman tank


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## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

beninneedofhelp said:


> all id like to no is how do you do that cause in my situation i dont believe there is anyone else yet i cant get her to give me a chance either what did you do to get her to want you again instead of anything else cause id love to no some answers on that i have a few posts on my situation if you would care to read them and list some advise lol i really dont no what to do at this point and i dont sleep for nothing anymore its all scattered and where i thought pain would lessen over time its gotten worse each week i feel like a car wreck that was ran over twice by a freaking sherman tank


This is not what you want to hear, and believe me its not what I wanted to hear either. Break off all contact with her, focus on your own happiness with your friends / family, and be healthy.

Mine came running back when she learned that I really wanted the divorce, and (as dumb as what this sounds) according to my facebook- I was having fun (without her).


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