# In 2 hours, it would be my 30th anniversary



## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Just check in here periodically and especially when I need the help of others who have endured what I am experiencing. 30 years ago tonight I was excitedly preparing for what was going to be the happiest day of my life. Now, here I am alone, in the middle of selling the house we raised our sons in, trying desperately to understand where it all went wrong. I am doing all the things everyone tells me will make it possible to move on. I keep a gratitude journal, spend time with family and friends, have a great job, which I love and still...My heart is broken and I can't imagine when it will heal. I have been sending him messages all along about how much I still love him, still miss him and wish we were still married. But tonight and tomorrow I am going to be strong. My therapist is helping me see how that behavior leaves me feeling, alone, disappointed and angry and so tonight, when all I can think of is telling him how I feel, I will tell all of you. Thanks as always for being here. Tomorrow is just a day, with reasons to celebrate life as well as be sad. I'll stop by again tomorrow night to check in.


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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

I am sorry you are going through this! I hope you have made some plans with friends/family tomorrow. 
Sending you good vibes for tomorrow and a big cyber hug!


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

/hug
/hug
/kiss
/hug
/kiss

hmmmm maybe xoxo should have been more appropriate!
Stay strong!!!
Don't forget to smile~~~


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Stillhoping, I heard a therapist say that it takes one year for every five years of a relationship to recover. I doubt that applies to everyone, but go easy on yourself. I'm ending a now-28 yr marriage. We never thought this would be where life would lead us. So stop the messages to XH, they will not bring you the joy you want. Spend your energy finding that joy somewhere else. Hugs.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I spent my 42nd birthday alone yesterday. I "could have" made special arrangements with my exwife to get the kid, and take her back the next day, but my mood was off. I got a call from my mom, and a friend of mine, but otherwise, I went to work, and ordered chinese for dinner, as I sat in my recliner and watched a lame movie on netflix. 
I guess after a while, you dull to the grief about it, but occasionally run into instances that remind you where you are at, and why.

I'm missing out on the good things in life, having people (family) with me to make the day special. I had no idea that I would ever be spending a birthday alone, but I guess it is how things are now.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

Well, I did it, its almost over and I didn't send any message at all. I got great support from friends and family today. I accomplished what I needed to for work and around my home. Got a message from both of my sons, checking to see how I was doing. In the end, it is just another day, not an anniversary any more. Thanks for the hugs. Shoo, I am sorry you were alone, sometimes I choos that to, just not to have to see all the couples


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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

I thought about you several times today. I'm sure it wasn't an easy day, but it is another milestone that you have passed. What doesnt kill us, makes us stronger...or something to that end. Big hugs!


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## LostOneForGood (Jun 4, 2012)

Still,

I feel for you, was there to. I didn't have 30 yrs, but last Dec would have been our 7th and I had planned a trip to Vegas to propose, because I didn't get to do it the way I wanted to the first time. So it was suppose to be a surprise, so I never told her. Long story short, I left in Aug 2012, found out in Jan 2013 she and her guy she was with while we were together, went to Vegas in Dec.. Stayed in same hotel I had planned.. So the month of Dec, is the worst for me..

What I can tell you, is do everything you can to make "That" day the best for you from now on, anything you can do to try and erase the other. You can do it.. :smthumbup:


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

My girlfriend told me that today is no longer my anniversary and that is true, but it was 30 years ago today I got married and thought it was going to be forever. We have all certainly gotten through some very difficult times with each other


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