# x



## Justjack85 (Oct 29, 2020)

x


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Well, your actions certainly are not helping this marriage. As far as family, you don't need to like them. Concerning weekly family events at his family home, you need to advise your H that there is a limit. Your H needs to cut the apron strings and guide his family. In short, it's time for a talk. Have you asked your H how he is feeling about the marriage?


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## Justjack85 (Oct 29, 2020)

I know I don't need to like them, but it makes it hard when we are seeing them every weekend to every other weekend and when they are intruding on our vacations, our time away or our first night in a new home that we purchase. We have talked about limits but his response is always, "but thats my family and that is just how we are." The talk is for sure coming, I guess I am just trying to one, get the balls to begin the conversation and two figure out exactly what I want to say in a way that is calm, cool and collective so that it minimizes the amount of hurt that can happen with the conversation. He knows that I have been unhappy but I think he just pushes it aside and ignores it.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Circumstances usually don’t resolve themselves 100%. If you were to resolve 50% of the issues would you consider yourself in a satisfactory marriage? Once you lose that loving feeling it can be fairly difficult to get back.


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## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

You have already cut the strings if you are refusing intimacy. That is a big part of keeping the emotional bond and refusing makes it easier to pull away and find things wrong. You knew his family and outlook before you married him. You can look ahead with him or without him and you choose to view the future without. It's much easier to fix this than it is to look back after marriage 3 or 4 and realize that there is no perfect person.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Justjack85 said:


> I know I don't need to like them, but it makes it hard when we are seeing them every weekend to every other weekend and when they are intruding on our vacations, our time away or our first night in a new home that we purchase. We have talked about limits but his response is always, "but thats my family and that is just how we are." The talk is for sure coming, I guess I am just trying to one, get the balls to begin the conversation and two figure out exactly what I want to say in a way that is calm, cool and collective so that it minimizes the amount of hurt that can happen with the conversation. He knows that I have been unhappy but I think he just pushes it aside and ignores it.


I went through similar. Your H NEEDS to make you FIRST. Even above family. There is no way around it. Right now resentment is building in you. Same happened with my W and I. I said the same crap. It's my family. True of course but there needs to be a limit. 

You start the conversation with, "You know I'm not happy. These are the reasons why. I would like to look to rectify the situation and build a good marriage." 

Marriage takes work. Communication is key. Making each other first above kids and family is a must. Happy H and W have happy families. Kids sense discourse in the home. As far as family, sometimes one just needs to tell them to take a powder. 

Make a stand for your immediate family.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bear in mind if you truly don't now, and don't feel you'll ever want to be intimate again, put on your big girl panties and call it quits now before both yours and his resentments build up and continuous anger enters the M.

And know that refusing intimacy will cause a whole new set of problems and when he says he's done, you'll have helped get there just as much as him.

I'm pulling for you, and the M, there is hope yet, but know the relationship is now teetering on the precipice to a quick D.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Due to the fact that the OP has disrespected everyone who reached out to help them and wasted everyone's time by deleting their first post, this thread will now be closed.


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