# How do I get out???



## 319suehere (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm in what feels like the most hurtful relationship and don't know how to get out and live. My husband has a major drug problem which also makes the situation even worse. Between his heroin addiction and ADD and just being a very verbally abusive man I just can't take living with him any-more. All I do 24/7 is listen to major name calling and insults; never any happiness allowed in my life. On top of it the drugs and ADD makes him intense on hurting me. It's weird because he'll mellow out and act happy after he has crushed me emotionally for the day. Why does my hurt feelings make him feel good? Anyway, the problem I'm having is I can't leave. I have nowhere to go, no money and no family. We are living at his mom's because he won't work a job and no transportation so I'm pretty much trapped here in the boonies. I tried the emergency housing program and they won't help me because he has an income so it's expected that he takes care of me. I have been thinking about the safe - house program but it's not physical abuse so...
What other options do I have? I feel nothing but hurt and depression and don't know how to get out of the marriage of hell.
Worse part is I should of listened to my Mom. Yes, my parents told me not to be with him and even shunned me for getting married. I miss my parents sooooooo much...
Advice please..... 
:scratchhead:


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

why can't you use the safe house?
do they only accept those from physical abuse situations?

If it were me, I'd find a way to make some money, save it and move out of his parents house, to a decent size city and get a job there and a small place of my own.
It's going to take some time and work but it may be your only option since you've stuck yourself in your current one.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

See if you can do work for his parents, paid work, like styling her hair or personal services.. like washing their cars, trimming trees
and things they would normally hire out.
They may be glad to pay less and give the money to you...
and then you can save it.

ps.. before you whine... I learned to do all that stuff... and you can do. Yes its hard work but your options are limited by your own making that you moved where you did ( boonies)
Maybe you can clean your MIL's shoes and shine them.. stuff like that for money.

you don't have many options.


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## livvy (Jun 3, 2009)

your situations sounds somewhat like mine except for the drug problem. my fiance has pretty bad anxiety and he puts me down in order to make him feel better. i also, live with him and can't talk to my family about my problem. 
but you say your husband is a heroin addict. please get out now! he will not get better, heroin is the most addictive and hard to get off drug. i know becasue my father is currently a drug addict and i have seen my mother go through 12 years of this. they will not change no matter how much they want to, it's the addiction that makes them this way. does he want to go to rehab? if he does not and is in denial i say he is a lost cause. as hard as it may seem you need to leave this man. he is abusing you, not pyschically but verbally and emotionally. call back and try to get in that shelter and start a new life. he sounds like he could get pysical with you. i also agree with the other comment if you cannot get in the shelter, you should start to save up and get a job if you can to get out. i live with my fiance parents as well and i wouldn't feel too comfortable asking them for money. i would prefer getting a job. i wish the best to you.


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## dorisrdrgz (Jun 4, 2009)

He hurts your feelings because his insecure and gets a sick pleasure from hurting you. I suggest you seek your parents, and if that doesn't work try to get a job within walking distance from your home.. Save everything you earn and get out.. It's not healthy for you to live like this. good luck!!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

319suehere said:


> Worse part is I should of listened to my Mom. Yes, my parents told me not to be with him and even shunned me for getting married. I miss my parents sooooooo much...
> Advice please.....
> :scratchhead:


I think you should absolutely contact your parents. I would guess the reason they shunned you is because they love you and want the best for you. Don't be too proud to tell them they were right and you need them, miss them and love them.


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