# How does someone just FALL OUT OF LOVE?!



## TexasGal31 (Jul 14, 2014)

Hello my story is similar to many others considering divorce/separation:

My husband and I have been married for 10 years this year in October; we've had our ups & downs as many couples do. We've separated for a few days in the past years, and we always fix things. This year he went back to school full time in a medical field filled with all women (only three men including my husband) anyway midway through I started getting very jealous of his "school friends" since he was constantly texting a group of two-three girls. I don't feel there is infidelity on his part, but I do feel he maybe flirted with someone and developed some feelings. The month of June I brought up the texting and how much it bothered me, he got very defensive and acted like a jerk. I brought it up again two weeks ago, when I noticed he was acting very "distant" his reaction was different and he agreed to stop the texting. By the third day I could really feel him pulling away emotionally, I finally asked him if everything was ok and after much insisting he told me he was not sure if his feelings were the same towards me anymore. What hurt the most was him telling me he's had this doubt for the past two years, but managed to ignore it and it came back from time to time. Meaning he was not sure if he loved me or was just used to me...I was in shock and tried to keep myself together. I asked if we were separating or divorcing but he said he didn't know what to do. I asked if he would consider marriage/spiritual counseling, but he said "I don't think someone can inject those feelings back." The next day we talked again, and he agreed to "work things out" I asked if maybe going to stay with his mom for a few days would help him clear his mind to which he agreed. We went to a marriage counselor (pastor at a church) and we had dinner, talked and joked as always. He asked me out on Saturday, and we hung out with friends, drank, danced, we've even engaged in intercourse. Yet, he continues to "doubt" if the love is still there. I'm so confused....but we're on a "trying mode" right now, and he returned home last night.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Love is an action not a feeling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Get the book "His Needs, Her Needs". It will answer a lot of questions and give guidance on how to put the love/passion back in your marriage.


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## whataquandry (Jun 2, 2014)

TexasGal, I could be your husband in your scenario. Unfortunately I did not share my feelings or struggles with my W and now I am discussing divorce with her. If you want to keep your marriage, please listen to the great advice you will get from the folks on this forum. IIWY, look for a 3rd party in this relationship. Most likely he is still texting with someone and your H is being influenced by this and is seeing things differently at home. 
You don't decide to back away from a relationship overnight. His statements indicate that something is under the surface and has been there for a while - you need to find out what this is.


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

Have you made an appointment to see that same Pastor together? The reason I ask is because engaging in intercourse while your husband is trying to figure out how he "feels" may not be the best process for making a determination. If he needs time away to "figure things out" than wouldn't that include intimacy? I don't have the answer I am simply asking the question. Good third party counseling would be a good place to start.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

whataquandry said:


> TexasGal, I could be your husband in your scenario. Unfortunately I did not share my feelings or struggles with my W and now I am discussing divorce with her. If you want to keep your marriage, please listen to the great advice you will get from the folks on this forum. IIWY, look for a 3rd party in this relationship. Most likely he is still texting with someone and your H is being influenced by this and is seeing things differently at home.
> You don't decide to back away from a relationship overnight. His statements indicate that something is under the surface and has been there for a while - you need to find out what this is.


All signs point to an emotional and/or physical affair. Textbook fog behavior. 

OP - Is there a way you can find out if he's still in contact with these women? Are you sure you know everything about the nature of their correspondence?


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Someone just FALLS OUT OF LOVE when they obtain a new girlfriend. That's what's going on here. Why don't you, quietly, in a James Bond way, go online and check your husband's cell phone records. Look for one number that shows up a lot. Look at the texts. Check his emails. You've already discovered that he's gotten friendly with a couple of females. I'll bet they aren't just friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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