# How many ladies have NEVER masturbated?



## Flyguy

My wife of 13 years says she hasn't and I believe her. Why? Prude? Think it's gross? Just not into sex/pleasure?


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## Cosmos

Flyguy said:


> My wife of 13 years says she hasn't and I believe her. Why? Prude? Think it's gross? Just not into sex/pleasure?


I think you would have to ask her, OP. There could be a number of reasons - religion being the most likely culprit.


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## Chelle D

I'd say the number would be pretty close to "zero".

I'd also pretty sure she's probably lying. She experimented, at least once in youth.
Maybe she didn't like it. Maybe she cant orgasm on her own.. but she's tried, most likely.

She may have not tried since your marriage.. that could be true.


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## Mavash.

According to the book his needs her needs 50% of women surveyed had never masturbated.

The usual reasons are religion and parental shame.


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## 40isthenew20

I always felt that my wife was BSing me when she claimed to never do it, but I asked her in the perfect setting to be honest and she stuck to her guns. 

We were away for a F weekend, drinking and just finished having great sex. I told her to use the new toys when I am at work and the topic went from there. 

I still have my doubts, though. Seeing the way she cums from the Rabbit would make me live with it permanently on.


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## ankh

With the right trust in the right friend, I believe any woman can move beyond her fears and confusion about masturbation and learn a new fun pasttime. Keep her talking about and make sure she tells you her real reasons. This may take a while.


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## Mavash.

40isthenew20 said:


> Seeing the way she cums from the Rabbit would make me live with it permanently on.


We aren't men and more isn't necessarily better.


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## ankh

I agree with you. More, bigger, etc., are not necessarily better.


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## Mavash.

ankh said:


> I agree with you. More, bigger, etc., are not necessarily better.


Wish I could get this concept through my husband's head. Men think if a little is good more would be better. And don't even get me started on how they think bigger is better. LOL


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## 40isthenew20

Ok so even if more or bigger isn't better, does that make it to easily fluff off masturbating atall?


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## wiigirl

Mavash. said:


> According to the book his needs her needs 50% of women surveyed had never masturbated.
> 
> The usual reasons are religion and parental shame.


I honestly think 50% is a bit high.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ankh

Picture does not display, wiigirl


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## Flyguy

BrookeT said:


> Could be a lot of things. Does she come from a strict religious family? Maybe sex was taboo when she was growing up. Maybe she's embarrassed to admit she does it because she's afraid it will hurt your feelings.


Regarding the religious family, yes hers is somewhat strict. I do think more that the issue is she might be embarrassed about masturbation in general.

I told her a few weeks ago when we had a lengthy talk about "things" that I'd love to see her develop more of an edge when it comes to sex. Our talk has done some good, but there is a long way to go. It's just too bad that my wife of 13 years has issues opening up to me when it comes to the bedroom. And by that I mean her expressions and her legs....


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## Mavash.

wiigirl said:


> I honestly think 50% is a bit high.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I didn't write the book I'm just quoting it. LOL


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## Mavash.

40isthenew20 said:


> Ok so even if more or bigger isn't better, does that make it to easily fluff off masturbating atall?


I don't understand this question.


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## helpwanted

I'm sure not many these days. Some woman I know physically can't get themselves off so they have to rely on a guy to do it for them. Can't say i am one of them though.


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## Flyguy

SimplyAmorous said:


> But I think it is more common for LOWER DRIVE women to never have this urge, or it is so small, she doesn't try to explore it ~ regardless of religion. Even the non-religious females may not masterbate.
> 
> It's not like religion stops the guys !! When the hormones are screaming -you do what you got to do! It's a great sign if a girl does this in her youth - giving a clue to her overall "sex drive"...or so that is my opinion anyway....from reading countless stories of husbands struggling with low drive wives- near all of them did NOT masterbate.


I would certainly agree it is more common for the lower drive women to never have the urge. My wife fits perfectly into this category, which is why I truly believe she never has.

I'm just getting to the point where I'm getting ready to wave the white flag. I just don't see how me reading MMSL or surprising her with a vibrator will change her desire. This is how she is and what can possibly change this? When I tell her to read an article about sex or even to look at this site, all I get is a smirk and an "oh, whatever"! Makes me just wanna say F-it sometimes and find myself something on the side.....

Sorry to b!tch and moan so much. I just get so uptight when sex is on my mind and it's one of the last things on hers. Just demoralizing.....


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## EnjoliWoman

It would be a red flag to me. I discovered it around age 13 and tried lots of ways at that age.


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## Lyris

Must be a LD thing. I discovered it at 11 and had no idea what I was doing, just knew I was going to keep doing it!


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## tiredandout

First some research on the subject:
A Taboo That Doesn't Take Two



> *From the book: *Even fetuses, and certainly small children, masturbate—“the phenomenon is perfectly normal,” states the unflappable penis specialist.


But as to your wife, I would agree with others and my first assuption would be that matters of sexuality had been such a taboo in her family that she was shamed and banned from doing it as well as talking about it. If this is not the case, and there's no other obvious sexual disfunctions/abuse in her history either, she's either extremely embarrassed to talk about or really low drive. I'm low drive and inhibited by my H's standards but I remember doing some sort of masturbation since I was 7 years old. And I still do, at times, even while married.

I actually think most of us do masturbate, as small children, but are directed away from it. I see my young newphew fingering his genitals everytime he's naked. I remember liking the sensation of rubbing myself against something even before I knew anything about making myself orgasm. But I will argue that when most parents see this this, especially at an inapropriate time, they'll say "No, Child, don't do that, stop touching yourself and lets put these pants on." or "Don't do it again. It's not right to do./Ladies don't do that./Big boys don't do that." Or they just get scared their 4-year-old is a sex-maniac and try to ignore it. Instead of saying: "Yes, child, touching yourself feels good and it is a beautiful thing to do. However, it is best to only do it at home so that you can privately enjoy yourself in peace. Do you understand?"

That's all. Rant over.


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## chillymorn

my wife swore up and down that she never masterbated. gross she would say and I believed her........until I caught her.

now I'm jaded and think that the vast majorty of people masterbate at one time or another in their life.


they might not be regular masterbaters like most people but everybody dose it. even people in the clergy etc.

it a basic body function.

don't get me wrong people with health problems might be an execption.


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## SimplyAmorous

Flyguy said:


> I'm just getting to the point where I'm getting ready to wave the white flag. I just don't see how me reading MMSL or surprising her with a vibrator will change her desire. This is how she is and what can possibly change this? When I tell her to read an article about sex or even to look at this site, all I get is a smirk and an "oh, whatever"! Makes me just wanna say F-it sometimes and find myself something on the side.....
> 
> Sorry to b!tch and moan so much. I just get so uptight when sex is on my mind and it's one of the last things on hers. Just demoralizing.....


I have many sons, I worry this may happen to them...I tell them to make sure they talk about this issue -because it is very telling to her future libido -which directly affects his FUTURE HAPPINESS .... a couple of our sons want to wait till marriage for sex (how utterly rare I know)...they are more at risk for devastation after the vows...I tell them to run like hell if she is not a masterbating woman....or he may feel like he is in a prison after the vows - nothing is worse than a high driver being matched with a low driver who views sex as just another chore to keep your man happy.  

I'd never last with a spouse who wasn't into lots of Sex... expressing our erotioc want of the other, feeling their LUST for us...passion / enthusiam for the dirty.....this is the closest thing to heaven itself ...take that away, life would be boring with a capital B... roomatish.

I so sympathize with you FlyGuy !! I'd bi*ch whine & moan too... When I start getting grouchy , the running line my husband has for me is .."You need laid". But he is smiling -cause he wants to take care of me. 

Is she on hormonal birth control, if so ...I'd suggest getting her off of that...for starters. A copper IUD (NO hormones) is a great option for wives. -it's called "Paragard"....could help a little ?? 

Is their anything that trips her triggers... does she get excited when watching a lusty R rated Romance- with a favorite actor perhaps?

..Reading a Romance novel? If none of this spikes her interest, Oh My... I don't understand such women.



> *tiredandout said*: I remember liking the sensation of rubbing myself against something even before I knew anything about making myself orgasm.


Yeah, me too, I recall having this large stuffed frog I used to sit on & watch Tv...I discovered early on if I sat a certain way and rubbed myself back & forth...damn that felt goooood.


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## ankh

Was that a frog or horny toad?. I need to know so that if I get reincarnated I can come back as that right stuffed amphibian!


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## Caribbean Man

tiredandout said:


> First some research on the subject:
> A Taboo That Doesn't Take Two
> 
> I actually think most of us do masturbate, as small children, but are directed away from it. I see my young newphew fingering his genitals everytime he's naked. I remember liking the sensation of rubbing myself against something even before I knew anything about making myself orgasm. But I will argue that when most parents see this this, especially at an inapropriate time, they'll say "No, Child, don't do that, stop touching yourself and lets put these pants on." or "Don't do it again. It's not right to do./Ladies don't do that./Big boys don't do that." Or they just get scared their 4-year-old is a sex-maniac and try to ignore it. Instead of saying: "Yes, child, touching yourself feels good and it is a beautiful thing to do. However, it is best to only do it at home so that you can privately enjoy yourself in peace. Do you understand?"
> 
> That's all. Rant over.


:iagree:
Almost every child pass through an exploratory phase where the touch themselves and get pleasure from it.
I think its somewhere around age five[?] and upwards.

There is another similar phase where they attempt to put everything into their mouths, in order to explore the sense of taste.


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## chillymorn

masterbation and picking your nose ....everybody dose it at some point.


but you wouldn't want anybody catching you do it! well some might like to be caught ....masterbating that is.


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## SimplyAmorous

chillymorn said:


> but you wouldn't want anybody catching you do it! well some might like to be caught ....masterbating that is.


(Taken from another post of mine/ another thread)....

This brings to mind a story my husband told me a few yrs back..... he worked with this lady (they talk about it all there )....... I guess her brother got caught by the Mom masterbating, walked in his bedroom... for open view and he says to her......"* Don't you wish you had one Mom, so you could do this?*". 

Oh that response !! ... wish I could have seen her face.


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## ScarletBegonias

I didn't do it til I was almost 22 years old.I tried once when i was younger but I didn't like how it felt so I didn't do it again til later after reading a steamy erotic novel.
Once I learned how to orgasm I did it every single day


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## 40isthenew20

Mavash. said:


> I don't understand this question.


It was in response to "we aren't men and more isn't always better."


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## Zatol Ugot?

A few years aog, I asked my wife if she ever masturbated. She said "no", not even when she was a child. She said that the closest she ever got was having some warm, tingly feelings down "there" whenever she was watching a TV show with a scene that got her motor running. However, she was too young to know what it meant and did not know what to do about it. 
I introduced mutual masturbation in our sex play a couple of years ago. Now, we incorporate playing with ourselves (sometimes to orgasm) during sex. She seems to enjoy this and finds it sexy but when asked if she would ever do this alone, she says "probably not", she just wants to do it with me


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## ankh

It's good she can play with you, but isn't she really doing it and seeming to enjoy masturbating just in that context, just for your satisfaction? If she really likes it she would find herself playing ALONE too, and loving it.


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## chillymorn

Zatol Ugot? said:


> A few years aog, I asked my wife if she ever masturbated. She said "no", not even when she was a child. She said that the closest she ever got was having some warm, tingly feelings down "there" whenever she was watching a TV show with a scene that got her motor running. However, she was too young to know what it meant and did not know what to do about it.
> I introduced mutual masturbation in our sex play a couple of years ago. Now, we incorporate playing with ourselves (sometimes to orgasm) during sex. She seems to enjoy this and finds it sexy but when asked if she would ever do this alone, she says "probably not", she just wants to do it with me


LOL don't kid yourself she rubs one out when she needs to.

at least thats my opinion.


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## chillymorn

ScarletBegonias said:


> I didn't do it til I was almost 22 years old.I tried once when i was younger but I didn't like how it felt so I didn't do it again til later after reading a steamy erotic novel.
> Once I learned how to orgasm I did it every single day


wow you didn't orgasm until you were 22yr old. you must have been very frustrated were you bi*chy? I know when my wife starts acting bi*chy she needs laid!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Zatol Ugot?

ankh said:


> It's good she can play with you, but isn't she really doing it and seeming to enjoy masturbating just in that context, just for your satisfaction? If she really likes it she would find herself playing ALONE too, and loving it.


I don't think that it is JUST for my satisfaction. Believe me when I say that her enjoyment is rather obvious (and loud). She said that when we do it together, she finds it more intimate and a shared experience as opposed to just having the physical release. She explained that she has no desire to do it alone because she wants to share.


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## Zatol Ugot?

chillymorn said:


> LOL don't kid yourself she rubs one out when she needs to.
> 
> at least thats my opinion.


I actually would wish that to be true. But I don't think it is.


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## AsTheStoryGoes

My husband's ex said she never masturbated because she thought it was gross..and she was very grossed out by my husband doing it when they were dating, and to my knowledge she has never been very religious. I never understood that.. the thought of my husband touching himself is a huge turn on. I had my first orgasm from masturbation pretty young (I want to say around 8 or 9) and from there on out I was a huge fan even if I wasn't sure exactly what was going on. 

But I guess for some women it just isn't their thing, however that could change.. I haven't been married as long as you guys have, but recently I have felt MUCH more comfortable with my husband in the sex department to try all kinds of new things that before I wouldn't have been open to. You would think after having my second baby I would be a little more self conscious, but it has been quite the opposite. Maybe one day your wife will develop a curiosity for it on her own..and if she does and REALLY starts to like it, let's hope she doesn't go crazy and drop a huge amount of $$$ on expensive sex toys, haha.


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## ScarletBegonias

chillymorn said:


> wow you didn't orgasm until you were 22yr old. you must have been very frustrated were you bi*chy? I know when my wife starts acting bi*chy she needs laid!!!!!!!!!!!!


I didn't really have that much of a drive so it didn't bother me.Now is a totally different story.Without my daily orgasm I'm a cranky gal


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## Soifon

Zatol Ugot? said:


> I actually would wish that to be true. But I don't think it is.


Trust me it is true. She just thinks it will hurt your feelings and/or she is trying to make you feel good.


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## Zatol Ugot?

Soifon said:


> Trust me it is true. She just thinks it will hurt your feelings and/or she is trying to make you feel good.


Nope. Still not convinced. We share way too much to think that she would be telling me an untruth about this. Despite the thought that everybody does it all the time, for older generations (40+ or so), people were not necessarily taught at an early age that masturbating was an acceptable thing to do. Comparing studies done 30 years ago vs today, you can see that the percentage of women that say they do it has drastically increased so that it appears to be so common today. However, it you don't have the drive to match it, what's the point? Factor in religious beliefs, societal pressures, childhood upbringing, misconceptions and God knows what else, I don't find it that hard to imagine that there is just not a need to masturbate. Perhaps if my wife had discovered herself when she was much younger and made the leap to self-satisfaction, it would be a different story today. But, as it stands, I just don't think that she does it on her own.


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## Ostera

My 52 yr old stbx never touches herself.. huge self esteem issues. She won't touch me down there either. If I put her hand on me she pulls it away within 15 seconds or so. She expects oral from me, but no way does she return the favor. She doesn't ever try off much after she showers.. she isn't comfortable with her body.


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## ankh

Why are so many so damned uncomfortable with their bodies? Who programs so many with these destructive self views?


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## Ostera

Don't know... she will let me have anal occassionally.. she lets me use toys on her and she loves oral.. however she doesn't give anything in return to me...I do know she caught her mother once with her father when she was 8 and asked later what they were doing... her mom said, "It's a wifely duty." Which translated I think in her mind to "It's work."


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## ankh

But is there any work in the world that's as fun as sex? Sex and masturbation are indeed work they take effort and energy but the rewards are so worth it!


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## Zatol Ugot?

ankh said:


> *But is there any work in the world that's as fun as sex? *Sex and masturbation are indeed work they take effort and energy but the rewards are so worth it!


I agree. But I guess the "rewards" are different for different people. For some, its the pure physical release. For others, its the education that you get about your own body. Each person has to weigh their own individual "costs" and benefits and determine if its right for them.


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## ankh

I am surprised this post has cooled now; it must be edging.


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## CanadianGuy

ankh said:


> Why are so many so damned uncomfortable with their bodies? Who programs so many with these destructive self views?


Almost every kind of media there is.


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## hehasmyheart

If 50% said they never had, they were just embarrassed to admit it. I guess we're supposed to act like prudes.


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## committed_guy

My wife claims she has almost never MB. She said once as a teen she started to but stopped when she felt guilty. Earlier in our marriage I bought her toys and encouraged her to use them by herself. She said she did, and it was pleasurable but felt the it was wrong because I wasn't there with her. This was also a period of line when she was on Wellbutrin, which is known to increase libido. She says she hasn't done it since and that she felt manipulated into doing when she did. 

She grew up in a very religious family where sex was never discussed in a positive context. She said she considers it a form of adultery as its "like having sex with yourself" according to her. I wish we discussed these sorts of things before we were married.


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## chillymorn

committed_guy said:


> My wife claims she has almost never MB. She said once as a teen she started to but stopped when she felt guilty. Earlier in our marriage I bought her toys and encouraged her to use them by herself. She said she did, and it was pleasurable but felt the it was wrong because I wasn't there with her. This was also a period of line when she was on Wellbutrin, which is known to increase libido. She says she hasn't done it since and that she felt manipulated into doing when she did.
> 
> She grew up in a very religious family where sex was never discussed in a positive context. She said she considers it a form of adultery as its "like having sex with yourself" according to her. I wish we discussed these sorts of things before we were married.


never say never. thats my point I believe that everyboby who can has at least tried at some ponit in there life.


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## Zatol Ugot?

ankh said:


> I am surprised this post has cooled now; it must be edging.


:rofl:Just read this and got it....I actually used to be so good at this when I was younger. I could last for hours right on the edge. Alas, age has taken its toll.


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## EnjoliWoman

I get impatient. I can't imagine practicing tantric sex. Maybe I'm too goal oriented! LOL

I feel badly for women or men who have been made to feel it's shameful, cheating, not OK, etc. Heck, all this talk has me in the mood!


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## AwfullyGuilty

:smthumbup: Some posts are simply funny. 

I discovered my fluffy friend when I was about 11-12. 
When I was older and someone would ask if I did it, I would say NO. 
I felt ashamed for doing it since good girls don't touch yourself.

Anyway, I was bad girl ever since.


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## ankh

Gotta love that Bad Girl!! And, her 'fluffy friend'.


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## Azure

I come from a very religious family where premarital sex and masturbation were huge no-nos. None of my girlfriends EVER talked openly about masturbation, and the majority of them still dont. But I discovered it when I was 14 after I got all hot and bothered reading a romance novel haha. I started doing it every single night. Sometimes several times a day as a teen when my sex drive was through the roof. Never admitted to it though. I know I felt a lot less shame than my older sister did, who only admitted to it when she turned 25, and was deeply ashamed of it.


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## ankh

How you feel about it now, Azrue, as an enlightened adult? Can I ask which religious denomination you were raised in? Has your playtime/intensity waned now?


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## Azure

I actually don't believe MB sinful at all. I have definitely embraced my sexuality despite my upbringing, but my libido has certainly waned with time. I'm still HD and can have sex every day of the week, but I just don't THINK about it as much, nor do I feel the same need for it. So if I am not having sex, I'm not necessarily MB. I really think MB was my form of self-therapy back then, so it may have been an addiction, who knows


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## ankh

Has your sister gotten over her shame yet?


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## MaritimeGuy

When I was in my teens no guy I knew would have ever admitted to it. It was something you'd accuse others of doing as if it was something only 'losers' do. I'm not sure where all this shame came from but it seems pretty commonplace.


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## Hope1964

I grew up in a pretty sexually repressed religious family. So I had huge guilt going on about masturbation and sex in general for as long as I can remember. I did masturbate, but it made me feel so ashamed I didn't do it very often. And I didn't enjoy sex until I was in my 30's. My first husband never took me to orgasm except a handful of times via oral. Once I started having sex at 16, I stopped masturbating entirely for about 15 years. I figured sex was something that I was just not destined to enjoy. I just really didn't know any better.

Then I split with my ex and became a single mother, and did start to masturbate again sometimes. I found it more enjoyable than I did as a teen, but still felt tremendous guilt. I was pretty non sexual for a few years, at the end of my marriage and while I was single. 

Then I met my current hubby. He had such a matter-of-fact attitude about masturbation and freely admitted that he did it, and seemed not to believe that I didn't. I actually still felt huge guilt and never admitted to him that I ever did do it. And he could make me cum so easily and wonderfully I just didn't want to any more anyway. I became a nympho with him and just kind of stopped masturbating completely again. He bugged me a lot to masturbate in front of him, which I did a couple of times, but I always felt super awkward doing it and could never make myself cum.

Then when our marriage was on the decline i became fairly non sexual again. I repressed my libido for the most part. I did masturbate once in a blue moon, but I still liked the orgasms better with my husband - the sex that we did have was always awesome.

Then we split up and I threw out all our sex toys and went and bought a new one for myself. That stretch was probably when I masturbated the most frequently of any time in my life. And I talked about it with hubby, once we decided to reconcile. Since we've gotten back together I have tried to do it in front of him more, although I still can't cum all by myself in front of him. And he's still way better at it than I am. I do it once in a while alone, but still feel like I have to hide it. I haven't outright told hubby I do it, and he's not asked lately. If he did I would tell him that I do it but I would feel guilty, even though I KNOW he would find it hot.

Gotta love that religious guilt.


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## chillymorn

MaritimeGuy said:


> When I was in my teens no guy I knew would have ever admitted to it. It was something you'd accuse others of doing as if it was something only 'losers' do. I'm not sure where all this shame came from but it seems pretty commonplace.


:iagree:


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## ankh

The question is how to banish that guilt for good.


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## Hope1964

ankh said:


> The question is how to banish that guilt for good.


I wonder if it's even possible to, and if it is, if it's worth the effort. What would be the point - so I can masturbate more? I don't feel the need to, not because it makes me feel guilty, but because I prefer orgasms with hubby, and I get lots of them with him.


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## Readytogo

Flyguy said:


> I would certainly agree it is more common for the lower drive women to never have the urge. My wife fits perfectly into this category, which is why I truly believe she never has.
> 
> I'm just getting to the point where I'm getting ready to wave the white flag. I just don't see how me reading MMSL or surprising her with a vibrator will change her desire. This is how she is and what can possibly change this? When I tell her to read an article about sex or even to look at this site, all I get is a smirk and an "oh, whatever"! Makes me just wanna say F-it sometimes and find myself something on the side.....
> 
> Sorry to b!tch and moan so much. I just get so uptight when sex is on my mind and it's one of the last things on hers. Just demoralizing.....



Some of it has to do with age I think. Earlier when the kids were little I refused anything the kids might find. Always in "mommy mode". Then evenually he brought a toy home. I told him I wouldnt use it. It sat for a while. I tried it out by myself - I would NEVER admit it. The fear of him not keeping it confidential etc had a little to do with me not opening up to him. And our relationship was always rocky.
Eventually I opened up about it once I realized how great it was. And when he was working nights, found it quite entertaining. 
Eventually I did it in front of him. And together. But it took a little trust and time.


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## Wazza

Hope1964 said:


> I wonder if it's even possible to, and if it is, if it's worth the effort. What would be the point - so I can masturbate more? I don't feel the need to, not because it makes me feel guilty, but because I prefer orgasms with hubby, and I get lots of them with him.


To enjoy it. 

If God created you he created masturbation. The guilt, as I see it, is in your head, not his.

Realising that was how I came to terms with it.


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## Hope1964

Wazza said:


> To enjoy it.
> 
> If God created you he created masturbation. The guilt, as I see it, is in your head, not his.
> 
> Refusing that was how I came to terms with it.


I do enjoy it, I just enjoy sex with hubby more 

Or did you mean to enjoy doing it in front of him? I totally know it's all in my head, not his. And I don't believe in the same God my parents do any more.

Your post is a little confusing to me.


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## Wazza

Hope1964 said:


> I do enjoy it, I just enjoy sex with hubby more
> 
> Or did you mean to enjoy doing it in front of him? I totally know it's all in my head, not his. And I don't believe in the same God my parents do any more.
> 
> Your post is a little confusing to me.


Yeah me too. "Refusing" is the wrong word. I m sure I typed "realising"!!!!! Either my brain or auto correct went crazy!!!!

Thanks for being gentle with me


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## Wazza

Can I ask what (in general terms, no specifics!) women think about when they masturbate?


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## chillymorn

Wazza said:


> Can I ask what (in general terms, no specifics!) women think about when they masturbate?


easy one their thinking of ME!:smthumbup::rofl:


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## SimplyAmorous

In 1994 Joycelyn Elders, a Surgeon General ..she was forced to resign for recommending it should be mentioned in school curricula & that masturbation was safe and healthy...

The Dreaded "M" Word | Nerve.com

Here is some history>>



> *18th & 19th Centuries*
> 
> It was primarily during the 1700s and 1800s when masturbation was first associated with mental and physical deficiencies. Some prominent physicians, scientists, philosophers, and religious leaders believed that illnesses such as insanity, vision and hearing problems, epilepsy, mental retardation, and general health problems were caused by self-stimulation. In fact, over 60% of medical and mental illnesses were blamed on masturbation.[1]
> 
> The fear of masturbation was so great that throughout the world, extreme preventative measures were instituted including the use of mechanical restraints, genital surgery, and physical discipline.[2] By the 19th century the cereal magnate John Harvey Kellogg declared "sex for anything but reproduction" to be "sexual excess." Kellogg and others began advocating routine circumcision of males as a deterrent to masturbation.
> 
> The term, spermatorrhea, was even invented to explain nocturnal emissions, as no man was willing to admit to masturbating. Between 1856 and 1932, the U.S. Patent Office, awarded 33 patents to inventors of anti-masturbation devices.
> 
> 10 anti- masterbating devices described - a picture of a penis cage in this link >>
> History of Masturbation



History of masturbation - Wikipedia


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Thankful for atheist father.


----------



## ankh

Excellent article on history of Masturbation!


----------



## Mavash.

EnjoliWoman said:


> Thankful for atheist father.


:iagree:

Same here.


----------



## ankh

As a matter of contrast, I am grateful for two Christian parents who were very fair and reasonable about sex in raising me.


----------



## sandc

I have challenged my wife to attempt to masturbate at least once a week. She can do it with or without me around, with toys or without. This year has really been a sexual reawakening for us both. The once a week challenge is to help her further embrace the sexual side of herself.


----------



## ATC529R

sandc said:


> I have challenged my wife to attempt to masturbate at least once a week. She can do it with or without me around, with toys or without. This year has really been a sexual reawakening for us both. The once a week challenge is to help her further embrace the sexual side of herself.


women need to masturbate. If they can't please themselves how the hell can we know how to?


----------



## sandc

ATC529R said:


> women need to masturbate. If they can't please themselves how the hell can we know how to?


That's actually part of my reasoning. I asked to figure out what makes her feel really good and then teach me to do that. Her pleasure IS my pleasure.


----------



## missmolly

Wazza said:


> Can I ask what (in general terms, no specifics!) women think about when they masturbate?



mmm I think about this very question quite a lot cos I CANNOT get off unless I think about my husband. 
I have tried thinking of other things/people, but it never works. 
I usually assign him a slightly naughtier role than reality but it works everytime. 
So what's wrong with me - why can't I add variety??


----------



## ankh

Maybe your subconscious is not ready to allow you to add any variety yet.


----------



## MaritimeGuy

Readytogo said:


> Some of it has to do with age I think. Earlier when the kids were little I refused anything the kids might find. Always in "mommy mode".



I couldn't help but think of this video when I read this... Kid Playing With Vibrator - YouTube


----------



## missmolly

ankh said:


> Maybe your subconscious is not ready to allow you to add any variety yet.


well I am running out of time cos I aint no spring chicken


----------



## Hope1964

Sometimes I think about my husband doing things with me, sometimes things he doesn't usually. Sometimes I think about him with some unidentified random other woman. Sometimes I fantasize about myself with another woman. Strangely I do not think about myself with another man. Sometimes I just think about the feeling I am experiencing.

If I am doing it in front of him, I can't think of anything but the way I must look to him, whether my tummy bulge is hanging out, whether he's comparing me to porn women, etc etc etc. No wonder I can't have an orgasm that way.


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Hope1964 said:


> Sometimes I think about my husband doing things with me, sometimes things he doesn't usually. Sometimes I think about him with some unidentified random other woman. Sometimes I fantasize about myself with another woman. Strangely I do not think about myself with another man. Sometimes I just think about the feeling I am experiencing.
> 
> If I am doing it in front of him, I can't think of anything but the way I must look to him, whether my tummy bulge is hanging out, whether he's comparing me to porn women, etc etc etc. No wonder I can't have an orgasm that way.


I imagine (guys toss in your opinion) that when a couple is enjoying mutual masturbation, he has tunnel vision and is pretty much only noticing THAT. Maybe that would help you enjoy it. Think about him just focusing on that one part.


----------



## Wazza

Hope1964 said:


> Sometimes I think about my husband doing things with me, sometimes things he doesn't usually. Sometimes I think about him with some unidentified random other woman. Sometimes I fantasize about myself with another woman. Strangely I do not think about myself with another man. Sometimes I just think about the feeling I am experiencing.
> 
> If I am doing it in front of him, I can't think of anything but the way I must look to him, whether my tummy bulge is hanging out, whether he's comparing me to porn women, etc etc etc. No wonder I can't have an orgasm that way.


Thanks all for your candour. Ok it's dumb but I wondered if women had sexual fantasies as men do. Too scared to ask my wife.

Hope1964, my wife has similar worries when we are being sexual. Trust me, he will be totally getting off on watching you. And if you relax enough to orgasm.........he is rather unlikely to complain.


----------



## MaritimeGuy

I can only speak for myself but when I was married to my wife she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me. It's like when I looked at her I saw her essence more her physical embodiment. She put on a lot of weight at times and I don't remember ever looking at her and not finding her the sexiest woman alive. 

After we divorced and I was eventually able to emotionally detach it was like blinders were taken off. Now I wouldn't be interested in being with her even if I could get past the hurt she reminds me of.

So to answer your question...I don't think during mutual masturbation sessions your spouse is anything but completely turned on by you.


----------



## Flyguy

We have a hotel room tonight ...... and the vibrator is coming along.

:smthumbup:


----------



## Caribbean Man

Hope1964 said:


> Sometimes I think about my husband doing things with me, sometimes things he doesn't usually. Sometimes I think about him with some unidentified random other woman. Sometimes I fantasize about myself with another woman. Strangely I do not think about myself with another man. Sometimes I just think about the feeling I am experiencing.
> 
> *If I am doing it in front of him, I can't think of anything but the way I must look to him, whether my tummy bulge is hanging out, whether he's comparing me to porn women, etc etc etc. No wonder I can't have an orgasm that way.*


^^^^^^^
This part her made me laugh!
I don't think he's focusing on your " tummy" at that moment....


----------



## sandc

Hope1964 said:


> Sometimes I think about my husband doing things with me, sometimes things he doesn't usually. Sometimes I think about him with some unidentified random other woman. Sometimes I fantasize about myself with another woman. Blah blah blah blah blah blah....


*"Honey! I need to spend some time with you! Hope's got me all hot and bothered now!"

"Honey??! Where are you?"*

Dang it, where is that woman?


----------



## sandc

Hope,
Seriously. Do not worry about bulges here or there. When you're doing that, he ain't seeing 'em.

Seriously.


----------



## Wazza

sandc said:


> *"Honey! I need to spend some time with you! Hope's got me all hot and bothered now!"
> 
> "Honey??! Where are you?"*
> 
> Dang it, where is that woman?


Down boy. It was a serious question and you are scaring off further serious answers!!!!!!


----------



## Readytogo

wazza said:


> can i ask what (in general terms, no specifics!) women think about when they masturbate?


no !! Lol


----------



## Wazza

Readytogo said:


> no !! Lol


Darnit!!!!!!!!


----------



## ankh

Any ladies her have experience with the G-Spot Lollipop toy? Santa here is looking for gift ideas for one very nawty girl on his list.


----------



## ankh

Sounds like all the non-masturbating ladies have chimed in.


----------



## Michie

Everyone explores their gentials in their toddler yrs, when usually stops on the open the sooner parents teach modesty and privacy, and all girls at least once in life explore their vagina between 9 and 18.

I think I have masterbated once to orgasm (with much effort and time spended on one flipping O) when I was 15. And other then random checks to make sure everything is still where it's suppose to be I haven't masterbated to much of any degree in 13 yrs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Michie

ATC529R said:


> women need to masturbate. If they can't please themselves how the hell can we know how to?


Incorrect. I know exactly what I desire an express it well to my husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ankh

I am glad there's some life here, Michie


----------



## ankh

Michie said:


> Everyone explores their gentials in their toddler yrs, when usually stops on the open the sooner parents teach modesty and privacy, and all girls at least once in life explore their vagina between 9 and 18.
> 
> I think I have masterbated once to orgasm (with much effort and time spended on one flipping O) when I was 15. And other then random checks to make sure everything is still where it's suppose to be I haven't masterbated to much of any degree in 13 yrs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am quite sure I don't fully understand what you wrote here, but I believe I get your overall tone and meaning.


----------



## southern wife

I masturbate and I'm proud of it!


----------



## sandc

southern wife said:


> I masturbate and I'm proud of it!


Dang woman I'm proud of you too! And I don't even know you!


----------



## Michie

ankh said:


> I am quite sure I don't fully understand what you wrote here, but I believe I get your overall tone and meaning.


My meaning was at one point EVERYONE has touched themselves. Babies inutero touch their gentalia.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ankh

Thank you!


----------



## ladybird

If i said i didn't a bolt of lightning would strike me dead!!


----------



## ladybird

southern wife said:


> I masturbate and I'm proud of it!


:iagree: me too

I do think that some woman just don't. Why I don't know. Maybe because they are embarrassed to admit they do, something to do with child hood, They think it is dirty or they are just plain lying about it.

I do know that if I didn't I would have blown my top many many years ago. But i would still rather have sex.


----------



## northernlights

I don't masturbate. I have before, but it usually doesn't bring me to orgasm. On the rare occasion I have orgasmed from it, it just didn't seem worth that much effort, because it took me forever. I was talking about it with my best friend once, who said she didn't MB either, because it also didn't work for her. She compared it to tickling herself, which I thought was brilliant.

We can't be that uncommon? I wish it did work better for me, but then I'd probably spend way too much time doing it.


----------



## AFEH

Flyguy said:


> My wife of 13 years says she hasn't and I believe her. Why? Prude? Think it's gross? Just not into sex/pleasure?


My wife never masturbated unless I was leading her. But she never once turned me down for sex in over 40 years and was a very sexual and desirable woman.

So for me at least just because a woman doesn’t masturbate it doesn’t mean she isn’t sexual. Not by a long shot. Mind you she was with me since the age of sixteen and I couldn’t keep my hands off her so I guess she had no need.


----------



## ankh

northernlights said:


> I don't masturbate. I have before, but it usually doesn't bring me to orgasm. On the rare occasion I have orgasmed from it, it just didn't seem worth that much effort, because it took me forever. I was talking about it with my best friend once, who said she didn't MB either, because it also didn't work for her. She compared it to tickling herself, which I thought was brilliant.
> 
> We can't be that uncommon? I wish it did work better for me, but then I'd probably spend way too much time doing it.


How about if your lover stimulates you, masturbates you as it were? Would that arouse you when someone else is doing the work? Or is it the same feel either way?


----------



## ankh

Trenton said:


> This is me too!
> 
> He thinks my favorite position is from behind but doesn't realize I figure that's just the best view. :rofl:


'Tis a glimpse of heaven when viewing you from back there!


----------



## Jane_Doe

You mean... never _today_? lol

For reals, I don't have much need to these days, the O's I get from hubby are a zillion times better than my hand. But when I was getting no sex (13-17) and mediocre sex (17-23), I always preferred my own hand.


----------



## ankh

The sex I get with my wife is HOT, but I still masturbate. Different kind of pleasure!!


----------



## I Notice The Details

southern wife said:


> I masturbate and I'm proud of it!


I hope that my wife becomes this self confident...someday....about her sexuality


----------



## ankh

Does she masturbate now, but just isn't yet PROUD of it yet? Encourage her to talk about it more, to get it out in the open, at least between you.


----------



## I Notice The Details

ANKH, She does masturbate by herself with a vibrator....but still thinks it is "wrong" or bad, and isn't comfortable enough to do it in front of me.

She is totally comfortable watching and encouraging me to masturbate in front of her as a way to compensate for my much higher drive than hers.


----------



## Lovesong

40isthenew20 said:


> Ok so even if more or bigger isn't better, does that make it to easily fluff off masturbating atall?


I tend to NOT agree with the above (the 'we are not men and more isnt' better'). Sounds like a drive difference there. I do it a lot when he is away. But then, I figured it out very young too (I was 5 yrs old when I discovered the bath tub tap and began a love affair with it!). Been a regular Mer ever since. With this present BF, I even sometimes have to do it when he is at home because my drive is higher than his. I find that very sad and frustrating. It's bad enough I have to 'go it solo' when he is not here, but to have to maintain that when he is... ugh.


----------



## ankh

Does the present BF like to watch you play? I bet if you said...I gotta get off, cum and watch me...some of those 'show's you give him would turn into hot lovemaking sessions.


----------



## I Notice The Details

Interesting story...the hand held shower head in our master bathroom began leaking badly, so I went to Lowes and purchased a new one and installed it. After 2 days, my lovely wife just happened to mention while cooking dinner..."that new showerhead doesn't hit the right spot as well as the old one did"...with a very curious smile on her face. 

Now that I know my wife uses one, I am going back to try to purchase one like the old one that broke.

Question: Do other women use the hand held shower heads for sexual pleasure? If so, can you elaborate? Is this common?


----------



## MrsOldNews

It's common...


----------



## chillymorn

I'm not a woman but some nice shower action on my boys while I ........feels pretty damn good!


never masterbate is hard to belive for anybody.

some might say so but I belive everybody has taken a solo ride at some point in their life. Weather or not they do it as a regular thing is a different story.


I personal think its kinda of shooting your self in the foot if you don't explore your self and tell your lover what you like.

being open with you spouce about sex is what make sex special unless your married to a prude then its just disapointing.


----------



## sandc

I Notice The Details said:


> Interesting story...the hand held shower head in our master bathroom began leaking badly, so I went to Lowes and purchased a new one and installed it. After 2 days, my lovely wife just happened to mention while cooking dinner..."that new showerhead doesn't hit the right spot as well as the old one did"...with a very curious smile on her face.
> 
> Now that I know my wife uses one, I am going back to try to purchase one like the old one that broke.
> 
> Question: Do other women use the hand held shower heads for sexual pleasure? If so, can you elaborate? Is this common?


My wife is asking for a handheld shower head. Now you've got me wondering. :lol:

Be sure to let us know what you buy. Sounds like I'm going to have to go shopping soon.


----------



## Gruff

It took me until age 24 to achieve orgasm by myself. I stopped trying for two years prior to that- i.e. no masturbation whatso ever. Before that there were sporadic attempts from the age of about 14/15. To this day i cannot achieve orgasm with my fingers alone (has to be with a vibrator).

I do not go insane when i don't masturbate for a while and nothing physically changes (i.e. there is not a physical build up of stuff that needs to be released). For a man to sit there and chime out 'she's lying' at every woman who says they don't because they are to arrogant to think that not everyone experiences things like they do, is ridiculous and offensive. It is perfectly plausible that many women do not masturbate.


----------



## chillymorn

Gruff said:


> It took me until age 24 to achieve orgasm by myself. I stopped trying for two years prior to that- i.e. no masturbation whatso ever. Before that there were sporadic attempts from the age of about 14/15. To this day i cannot achieve orgasm with my fingers alone (has to be with a vibrator).
> 
> I do not go insane when i don't masturbate for a while and nothing physically changes (i.e. there is not a physical build up of stuff that needs to be released). For a man to sit there and chime out 'she's lying' at every woman who says they don't because they are to arrogant to think that not everyone experiences things like they do, is ridiculous and offensive. It is perfectly plausible that many women do not masturbate.


ha,ha,ha. 
never say never.

I stand by what I said you are just proving that! just because you didn't for a time period dosn't mean you can say you never did if some tried at all in there life then they can't say they never masterbated!!!!!!


----------



## I Notice The Details

sandc said:


> My wife is asking for a handheld shower head. Now you've got me wondering. :lol:
> 
> Be sure to let us know what you buy. Sounds like I'm going to have to go shopping soon.


I hope we get some more ladies to chime in here on the question of having orgasms from the shower head. 

I was not aware that my wife did, but I am HAPPY that she is doing this.


----------



## Readytogo

I Notice The Details said:


> I hope we get some more ladies to chime in here on the question of having orgasms from the shower head.
> 
> I was not aware that my wife did, but I am HAPPY that she is doing this.


^^ It works well. Just the right angle. On the right spot. Yowza. Takes care of business.


----------



## Readytogo

When shopping for one, look for one with different settings.


----------



## I Notice The Details

Readytogo said:


> When shopping for one, look for one with different settings.


The one I purchased has 4 settings, but I went back and got one with even more settings....hopefully I found the one with just the right pressure. She hasn't mentioned anything yet. I want to make sure her showers are HOT in every way.

I did have a girlfriend once who liked to scoot her body up against a faucet with slow running water for long periods of time.  She looked great doing this with her legs up in the air.


----------



## cantmove

Swimming pool jets.....just sayin.


----------



## I Notice The Details

cantmove said:


> Swimming pool jets.....just sayin.


I think that is sexy!!!!!


----------



## Readytogo

I Notice The Details said:


> The one I purchased has 4 settings, but I went back and got one with even more settings....hopefully I found the one with just the right pressure. She hasn't mentioned anything yet. I want to make sure her showers are HOT in every way.
> 
> .


What a good husband.


----------



## Flyguy

Ok, so as much as I read all these responses about "you need to do this" and "help her this way" my lady must be wired differently and wants nothing to do with a vibrator and/or masturbation....whether my urging, talk, or whatever it may be.

I know many women are wired like her, but there seem to be more that can put that "mommy mode" aside and make time for their husbands. Whether it's waking me at 2am for a little late night sex/oral or just simply walking up to me and slapping my a$$ to show me she cares.....well that just doesn't happen in my house and I'm not sure it ever will. Hell I've been shot down twice in the last month wanting to give her oral. WTF? Who effing doesn't like oral!?

I hate to say our sex life will never be what I want, but reality has sunk in....and I can say that after 13 years of marriage. For her it's kids, work, housework, and then if there's time for me, 10-15 minutes of boring ole same-position sex. I mentioned earlier in this post about waiving the white flag. Well, it's out and it's fluttering in the breeze (FMSL)


----------



## diwali123

Detachable shower heads have given me the best O's by myself than anything else. I'd rather be with my h but if I'm alone it's amazing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## committed4ever

Okey dokey, I'm putting it out there:

I have NEVER masturbated. At least I don't think so. I had an orgasm in a dream so I guess I did do something -- but not consciously.

We were not a strictly religious family, but my parents always told us 3 girls, don't go out there sleeping around, if you want to get married you keep those panties up. There were some measures to enforce it but not a lot. To the boys it was just wink wink - translation - go get 'em tiger (mostly my Dad). None of us girls married as virgins but both me and one of my sister have only had sex with our husbands.

As for as masturbating, it was pretty universal among my high schoold crowd that desperate people who couldn't get sex masturbated, because the real thing was so much better. There was a lot of talk of finger**** done by guys to girls, but no self gratification. Because of that I never even wanted to try it. During high school I only had eyes for my H (we were only in high school together for one year) but he never gave me the time of day. I continued to "stalk" him by being friends with his sister and haning out at her house but he still pretty much ignored me. I had a few high school crushes and puppy love, a little kissing and petting and got aroused but nothing came of it. 

Finally when i was 18 my H started coming on to me but it was very slowly. That's when I knew I was EXTREMELY high drive. I tried denying him for a long time but only because I saw him always bringing different girls down into their basement and I didn't want to be just another conquest that was quickly replaced. But his pressure along with the heavy petting I just caved in and we sneaked sex until we got married when I was 21. The closest we have even talked about masturbating was he told me the reason for his promiscious behavior up until we started dating was because he didn't want to masturbate. That probably was another way for him to get in my panties, trying to make me feel bad for him, but I don't know and never followed up. But him saying that makes me think guys probably talked the same talks as girls -- only guys who couldn't get any masturbated -- everybody else got the real thing. 

All that could be myth. I just know that I have never consciously done it or wanted to. I'm the rare always orgasm with PIV (built that way, I guess) so I don't need any toys or anything. I'm also the only female on T.A.M. who only wants her husband's thing and that's it -- the thought of anything else just doesn't do it for me. Self gratification does not have the emotional part of bonding with my husband through sex.

Guess I'm an oddball!


----------



## Gseries

Not that odd....my wife masturbated daily for years before we met. She confided one day it all started when babysitting at a place that had unrestricted satellite tv...guess that's how she learned about birds and bees.
Anyways part of her daily routine. We still have sex all the time. I think the two are independent events?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LouAnn Poovy

chillymorn said:


> my wife swore up and down that she never masterbated. gross she would say and I believed her........until I caught her.
> 
> now I'm jaded and think that the vast majorty of people masterbate at one time or another in their life.
> 
> 
> they might not be regular masterbaters like most people but everybody dose it. even people in the clergy etc.
> 
> it a basic body function.
> 
> don't get me wrong people with health problems might be an execption.


*How did that scenario play out? Did she stop when she saw you or did you join in? I hope the latter! :smthumbup:*


----------



## LouAnn Poovy

diwali123 said:


> Detachable shower heads have given me the best O's by myself than anything else. I'd rather be with my h but if I'm alone it's amazing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*You have no idea how many shower heads I've installed, but this just doesn't work for me. *


----------



## I Notice The Details

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *You have no idea how many shower heads I've installed, but this just doesn't work for me. *


My wife seems to enjoy some very long, hot showers...new showerhead must be working.


----------



## LouAnn Poovy

I Notice The Details said:


> My wife seems to enjoy some very long, hot showers...new showerhead must be working.


*You have no idea how jealous I am!*


----------



## I Notice The Details

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *You have no idea how jealous I am!*


I am wishing we had clear glass on our shower so I could watch. She is still pretty shy about her own masturbation. I have no problem with what ever gives her body more pleasure. I encourage it.....just wish I could watch. Must be a man thing 

She watches me do my stallion polishing...and I would love to watch her to her thing as well. Still hopeful!


----------



## Gseries

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *How did that scenario play out? Did she stop when she saw you or did you join in? I hope the latter! :smthumbup:*


That one never works for me. W is too sneaky or has sixth sense.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LouAnn Poovy

I Notice The Details said:


> I am wishing we had clear glass on our shower so I could watch. She is still pretty shy about her own masturbation. I have no problem with what ever gives her body more pleasure. I encourage it.....just wish I could watch. Must be a man thing
> 
> She watches me do my stallion polishing...and I would love to watch her to her thing as well. Still hopeful!


*Heck I don't want to watch, I want to participate! *


----------



## LouAnn Poovy

I Notice The Details said:


> I am wishing we had clear glass on our shower so I could watch. She is still pretty shy about her own masturbation. I have no problem with what ever gives her body more pleasure. I encourage it.....just wish I could watch. Must be a man thing
> 
> She watches me do my stallion polishing...and I would love to watch her to her thing as well. Still hopeful!


*
Any particular reason you wish to polish the stallion rather than taming the kittycat? I mean, you said she watches....*


----------



## I Notice The Details

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *
> Any particular reason you wish to polish the stallion rather than taming the kittycat? I mean, you said she watches....*


Just different times during the month when she is not in the mood for any action and she knows I am...she will encourage stallion polishing. She likes to watch me get started...solo...and then come in and lend a hand. 99% of the time our sex life is PIV or me giving her oral pleasures...we try to keep things interesting.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

It depresses me to think of never masturbating.
I use it as a tool for teasing SO.He'd walk in and "catch me" in the act then I'd get to watch him beat it while I'm still taking care of myself.Then when we can't take just watching anymore,we'll start pleasuring each other.


----------



## sandc

Caramel won't do it unless I'm watching. She says it's not fun by herself.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

sandc said:


> Caramel won't do it unless I'm watching. She says it's not fun by herself.


I agree with your lovely Caramel


----------



## sandc

ScarletBegonias said:


> I agree with your lovely Caramel


When I give her the smoldering, penetrating stare, directly into her eyes, she just goes over the edge.

I love that woman! :smthumbup:


----------



## Almostrecovered

sandc said:


> When I give her the smoldering, penetrating stare, directly into her eyes, she just goes over the edge.
> 
> I love that woman! :smthumbup:


----------



## sandc

Wow, you came up with those pictures of men awfully quick...


----------



## Almostrecovered

sandc said:


> Wow, you came up with those pictures of men awfully quick...


they won't stop staring at me!!


----------



## MrsOldNews

*Re: Re: How many ladies have NEVER masturbated?*



Almostrecovered said:


> they won't stop staring at me!!


Its probably the middle one doing all the staring. Hes quite a handsome gay man.


----------



## I Notice The Details

ScarletBegonias said:


> It depresses me to think of never masturbating.
> I use it as a tool for teasing SO.He'd walk in and "catch me" in the act then I'd get to watch him beat it while I'm still taking care of myself.Then when we can't take just watching anymore,we'll start pleasuring each other.





sandc said:


> Caramel won't do it unless I'm watching. She says it's not fun by herself.





ScarletBegonias said:


> I agree with your lovely Caramel





sandc said:


> When I give her the smoldering, penetrating stare, directly into her eyes, she just goes over the edge.
> 
> I love that woman! :smthumbup:



Scarlet and SandC....You all are killing me....I can hardly think straight right now and I am getting ready for a conference call. My mind is now turned to complete mush and all I can think about is women pleasuring themselves....

I am telling myself:
Clear mind
Clear mind
Clear mind
women pleasuring....damn!...no....no...
Clear mind
Clear mind
Clear mind

I have to make sense on this conference call in 15 minutes...:rofl:


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## Waking up to life

OMG why would a woman deprive herself of masturbating? Geez, I feel like a total perv because I remember rubbing myself on the edge of the bathtub when I was like 7...or riding on my pillow when my sister wasn't in our bedroom...I didn't know what it was that I was doing then, I just knew it felt good. 

And I still maturbate usually once or twice a week. My H doesn't know...it's a taboo subject. If he masturbates (and I would assume he does) I sure never know about it. I don't have a satisfying sex life, but I don't know how a woman even could if she doesn't know what works for her "down there".


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## Blackwaves52

Hello! I have and I do. Lately as of this morning before work. Lately, my husband shows no interest in my sexual earges. My feeling are hurt about this as well as I do really enjoy making love with him and to him. But to answer the question, "yes" I masterbate and enjoy it. I've learned how to enjoy sex as well as teach my husband what is enjoyable to me and when I'm turned on he's turned on or at least I thought he was.....:scratchhead:


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## I Notice The Details

Well, I spoke intelligently on my business conference call earlier...so I can return my brain to one of my favorite (unfilled) fantasies....watching my wife pleasure herself. 

I am so jealous of the other men who get to watch their wives do this!


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## Maricha75

Waking up to life said:


> *OMG why would a woman deprive herself of masturbating?* Geez, I feel like a total perv because I remember rubbing myself on the edge of the bathtub when I was like 7...or riding on my pillow when my sister wasn't in our bedroom...I didn't know what it was that I was doing then, I just knew it felt good.
> 
> And I still maturbate usually once or twice a week. My H doesn't know...it's a taboo subject. If he masturbates (and I would assume he does) I sure never know about it. I don't have a satisfying sex life, but *I don't know how a woman even could if she doesn't know what works for her "down there".*


First, believe it or not, some women don't see it as depriving themselves. Some see masturbating as depriving their partners.

As far as the last part bolded... it very well may be that their partners know what buttons to push. A woman (or even a man, for that matter) doesn't HAVE to masturbate to know what works for them. It doesn't make them "deprived". It just means they have a partner who is able to fulfill all of THEIR sexual needs. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.


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## Waking up to life

Maricha75 said:


> First, believe it or not, some women don't see it as depriving themselves. Some see masturbating as depriving their partners.
> 
> As far as the last part bolded... it very well may be that their partners know what buttons to push. A woman (or even a man, for that matter) doesn't HAVE to masturbate to know what works for them. It doesn't make them "deprived". It just means they have a partner who is able to fulfill all of THEIR sexual needs. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.


I meant no offense or judgement in my comment. You're right that not everyone would consider it as depriving themselves. I just can't imagine never having the desire to at least TRY it a couple of times. And I do envy the women who never feel the need to because they are consistently satisfied by their partners.


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## Gseries

Waking up to life said:


> OMG why would a woman deprive herself of masturbating? Geez, I feel like a total perv because I remember rubbing myself on the edge of the bathtub when I was like 7...or riding on my pillow when my sister wasn't in our bedroom...I didn't know what it was that I was doing then, I just knew it felt good.
> 
> And I still maturbate usually once or twice a week. My H doesn't know...it's a taboo subject. If he masturbates (and I would assume he does) I sure never know about it. I don't have a satisfying sex life, but I don't know how a woman even could if she doesn't know what works for her "down there".


what's up with the sex life? Frequency, quality....other?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Waking up to life

Gseries said:


> what's up with the sex life? Frequency, quality....other?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


All of the above. Quality is lacking to put it mildly...my H has gained over 100 lbs and I have lost attraction to him; because of his weight, we are limited to just a couple of positions that I am bored out of my skull with; I never orgasm with him...we sort of tried for the first few years we were together, then he got more and more upset that I didn't and I felt pressured, so I just resigned to the fact it wasn't going to happen, and he was okey dokey with giving up on it too. Frequency is about once a month at most...it's been that way for the majority of our marriage (19 years). Since I never got anything out of it, I never pushed for more often. He seems content with that as well. Now in my late 30s, I'd seriously have sex every single day if my H was someone I found physically attractive and could physically do the things I'd like to do (like missionary style...boring, I know, unless you can NEVER have that), and who gave a crap if I "got mine". So there's my sorry excuse for a sex life right now.


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## Gseries

Sorry that sucks. 
Have you tried the direct approach, as in hey lose some weight and service me right?
I know threadjacking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Waking up to life

That is the final frontier I haven't gotten to...I've recently tried to discuss other marital issues we have, been to MC twice then he refused to go back because it's "worthless psychobabble" talking about feelings. I was hoping to get to the sex part but we never got that far. He pretty much refuses to talk about anything having to do with my feelings. Says I'm just choosing to be unhappy.


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## Gseries

....yes, because people naturally choose to be unhappy...I think when one spouse refuses MC its always because they know they are going to hear bad news, at least that was my experience. I guess based on the nature of this thread telling him he better enjoy that hand because that's all he's getting, isn't much if a threat. Well good luck I hope he opens up for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland

Geez I can't keep my hands off myself and I have a very active sex life as well. He likes to watch which is all good by me.


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## Lonely&frustrated

As I have stated in earlier posts, I had NEVER masturbated up until recently when my H got a job overseas. He's gone for 2 mo at a time. I've never had to before so i never really thought about it. My first H thought it was selfish so I thought it was a "bad thing". My H now says "go for it". It took some practice but I'm beginning to like my little "pink friend". I sometimes get freaked out of the vibratating, had I known it was gonna be that good, I woulda done it a long time ago


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## I Notice The Details

Lonely&frustrated said:


> As I have stated in earlier posts, I had NEVER masturbated up until recently when my H got a job overseas. He's gone for 2 mo at a time. I've never had to before so i never really thought about it. My first H thought it was selfish so I thought it was a "bad thing". My H now says "go for it". It took some practice but I'm beginning to like my little "pink friend". I sometimes get freaked out of the vibratating, had I known it was gonna be that good, I woulda done it a long time ago


Good for you....and by the way, they say the clitoris has thousands of nerve endings in it....all put there just for a woman's pleasure! I agree with your husband. Go for it and explore. Find out every way that you can give yourself pleasure!


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## Gseries

Holland said:


> Geez I can't keep my hands off myself and I have a very active sex life as well. He likes to watch which is all good by me.


So that's a "no" then on the original question 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland

Gseries said:


> So that's a "no" then on the original question
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep that's a huge NO


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## Freak On a Leash

The one on the bottom pic is waiting for me. :smthumbup: 

Now if I really had someone like in my bed I could retire my sex toys. I can't imagine not masturbating. It's my salvation these days.


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## Rand OmGuy

My wife has done it a few times in life but she says she prefers to do get off during sex with me. She has only pleasured herself alone once in the past 5 years. I think part of it has to so with the fact the she squirts everytime she orgasms and it can be messy and hard to hide. i think the embarrassment of me knowing what she did by herself keeps her from doing it more often. Plus she has to wash our 7 "sex" towels almost everyother day due to how much we have sex, maybe the thought of another load in the wash turns her off. 

I have reassured her that i think it is very sexy and knowing that she had done it that day would turn me on and make me want sex even more that night. 

When i asked why she didn't do it more often, she just shrugged her shoulders and said she enjoyed the "real thing" more. Guess i won't complain.


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## OhGeesh

My wife feels guilty like she shouldn't be doing that without me. She aids in pleasing all the time when we are physical, but alone it's just not her thing.


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## Faithful Wife

We have a "no MB without permission" rule...which basically just means we have both agreed to give each other the option to watch, join, or just have sex, rather than MB. We have agreed not to do it without that permission first. We have found that even when one of us does approach the other for permission, the other spouse almost always offers to just have sex instead, and so we rarely MB alone. I can't even remember the last time I did, because every time I might mention it, he is all over me, bringing the good stuff. This way, we in effect, are saving all of our sexual release and energy for each other.


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## PAPS18

Originally posted by fly guy---

Ok, so as much as I read all these responses about "you need to do this" and "help her this way" my lady must be wired differently and wants nothing to do with a vibrator and/or masturbation....whether my urging, talk, or whatever it may be.

I know many women are wired like her, but there seem to be more that can put that "mommy mode" aside and make time for their husbands. Whether it's waking me at 2am for a little late night sex/oral or just simply walking up to me and slapping my a$$ to show me she cares.....well that just doesn't happen in my house and I'm not sure it ever will. Hell I've been shot down twice in the last month wanting to give her oral. WTF? Who effing doesn't like oral!?

I hate to say our sex life will never be what I want, but reality has sunk in....and I can say that after 13 years of marriage. For her it's kids, work, housework, and then if there's time for me, 10-15 minutes of boring ole same-position sex. I mentioned earlier in this post about waiving the white flag. Well, it's out and it's fluttering in the breeze (FMSL) 


Fly, you sound like you are married to the same type woman I am. She claims she has never masturbated, thinks is gross/digusting, and thinks me doing the same is disgusting (she honestly believes that I don't do it-I do it all the time because we have sex so infrequently). 

When I was married about the same amount of time as you, we are now over 20 years, we had numerous arguments about our sex life. I would do 99% of the talking, she would say things like sex is just not a priority for me, or sorry I can't be who you want me to be. Also, she said once, I get the feeling you think you can do better than me and I responded, in the sex department yes, I do. I would clearly state how sex is how I felt a connection with her, our bodies coming together and the emotional bond it brought. She agreed that it was nice and she enjoyed it, just didn't need sex very often. I kept asking, what can I do to make it better for you-she would always say, it truly is not you-I just don't crave sex and don't think about sex, it is just simply not a priority in my life. 

I have stayed married and just make the best of an otherwise happy and solid marriage. Sure, I don't get sex but we are best friends (albeit roommates) and we have two great kids. I no longer even try for sex, I leave it 100% up to her and she knows that anytime she wants it, she will always get it-I will never refuse it. She has "wanted it" I think about 4-5x thus far in 2013. She is always tired, always invested in her work or with the kids, she just doesn't think about it and despite my efforts over the years to buy erotica for her, books, magazine articles, even softcore porn, it just doesn't work. Getting away from home has worked over the years but we don't have the money to do that very often, AND, I always am the one to plan the getaways-which I don't mind doing every so often but sometimes it would be nice for her to plan something because then you know, it is something that has been on HER mind, not just her going along. 

Bottom line, there are a LOT of guys out there like you and I. I have about 4-5 very close guy friends that are in the same boat, married for 15-20 years, kids, careers and wives that never seem to have the time for their husbands. I truly believe that a LOT of women have a real hard time separating the roles of Mom and wife/lover and put their time, energy and emphasis on the kids. You have two options, accept your fate or divorce. I have accepted my fate, at least for now.


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## I Notice The Details

FYI.....May is Masturbation Month!


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## committed4ever

Y'all enjoy! When is PIV month?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

committed4ever said:


> Y'all enjoy! When is PIV month?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think that is every month except May! :rofl:


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## committed4ever

I Notice The Details said:


> I think that is every month except May! :rofl:


LOL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrsoffshore

I have a friend who never MB. I bought her a vibrator and she still hasn't used it. Meanwhile, I have a collection of pleasantries in my closet that I don't think I would be able to function without. Every blue moon, hubby will just sit back and enjoy the show


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## committed4ever

Yeah I know probably 99.9% of TAM think you're missing something by not doing it. Myself I have no desire. My husband built in toy really does it for me and I'd just prefer the pleasure coming from him than anywhere else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PAPS18

Committed, I think my wife feels exactly like you, except she just doesn't have the need for PIV as much as you, maybe 2-3x a month if I am lucky. Thus, I am left with having to take care of myself because 2-3x a month is not enough for me. 

My wife thinks self masturbation is gross/disgusting, she is fine with me getting her off with my finger as that is probably the easiest and quickest ways to get her off-besides the few times she will actually let me go down on her-that is nearly 100% sure thing to get her to O.


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## PieceOfSky

mrsoffshore said:


> I have a friend who never MB. I bought her a vibrator and she still hasn't used it.


MrsOffshore, you are indeed a very good friend! I sincerely mean that.


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## PieceOfSky

One of my wife's earlier boyfriends convinced her masturbation would increase her ability to reach orgasm, and increase her libido.

I think, later in life, that was a thought that had value to her as she struggled with low desire and less frequent orgasms.

I wonder if that had been true for any women here, especially those with less desire or propensity to orgasm than she would like.

(Only thing I didn't mind hearing about an old boyfriend.)


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## mrsoffshore

PieceOfSky said:


> MrsOffshore, you are indeed a very good friend! I sincerely mean that.



I try to be lol. :smthumbup:


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## Zatol Ugot?

mrsoffshore said:


> Every blue moon, hubby will just sit back and enjoy the show


Lucky man. Just curious...does he or would you like for him to "give you a show"? Just wondering if it goes both ways.


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## Anon Pink

I don't understand women who don't *ever ever* masturbate. :scratchhead: I really think there must be a neuro-chemical imbalance that has seriously effected the sex drive. The drive to experience sexual pleasure is innate, we are wired to seek sexual pleasure.

Even when I was actively repressing myself sexually, back in the bad old days, I still masturbated occasionally-though generally without climaxing. Back when my thyroid quit, about 15 years ago, but hadn't yet been dx, I felt the need to masturbate frequently even though I could *never* reach climax. God that was a horrible time! Then when I stated with synthroid, I stopped having the urge to masturbate for several months. 

But then BAM! Masturbation was suddenly nowhere near enough!

From that point onward, I masturbate almost every day. Luckily, being a woman and all, rubbing one out doesn't prevent me from being ready for the real deal. During the holidays when we have a full house and I get zero privacy, I become a total B!TCH for want of and need to have orgasms.


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## committed4ever

> I don't understand women who don't ever ever masturbate. I really think there must be a neuro-chemical imbalance that has seriously effected the sex drive. The drive to experience sexual pleasure is innate, we are wired to seek sexual pleasure.


Some women, well, at least one -- me -- prefer the touch of their spouse rather than pleasing themselves. It's more erotic for me.

But I think you know that nothing wrong with the sex drive of women who don't masturbate. That's ridiculous. I'm extremely HD, yeah because I'm pregnant but it was never anywhere near the LD end of the scale even before I was pregnant. Your thinking is narrow if you really believe that.


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## sandc

*Re: Re: How many ladies have NEVER masturbated?*



Anon Pink said:


> I don't understand women who don't *ever ever* masturbate. :scratchhead: I really think there must be a neuro-chemical imbalance that has seriously effected the sex drive. The drive to experience sexual pleasure is innate, we are wired to seek sexual pleasure.
> 
> Even when I was actively repressing myself sexually, back in the bad old days, I still masturbated occasionally-though generally without climaxing. Back when my thyroid quit, about 15 years ago, but hadn't yet been dx, I felt the need to masturbate frequently even though I could *never* reach climax. God that was a horrible time! Then when I stated with synthroid, I stopped having the urge to masturbate for several months.
> 
> But then BAM! Masturbation was suddenly nowhere near enough!
> 
> From that point onward, I masturbate almost every day. Luckily, being a woman and all, rubbing one out doesn't prevent me from being ready for the real deal. During the holidays when we have a full house and I get zero privacy, I become a total B!TCH for want of and need to have orgasms.


AP,
were you still on the thyroid medicine when your sex drive returned? Just wondering what to expect if Caramel has to start on thyroid medication.


----------



## sandc

*Re: Re: How many ladies have NEVER masturbated?*



committed4ever said:


> Some women, well, at least one -- me -- prefer the touch of their spouse rather than pleasing themselves. It's more erotic for me.
> 
> But I think you know that nothing wrong with the sex drive of women who don't masturbate. That's ridiculous. I'm extremely HD, yeah because I'm pregnant but it was never anywhere near the LD end of the scale even before I was pregnant. Your thinking is narrow if you really believe that.


This is how my wife is. She will do it to turn me on but expects me to finish her off. Which I do happily!


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## Holland

Zatol Ugot? said:


> Lucky man. Just curious...does he or would you like for him to "give you a show"? Just wondering if it goes both ways.


Wasn't directed at me but in our world we sometimes have a session of mutual masturbation which blows my mind. Other times he will watch while we have PIV and I masturbate at the same time, he seems to like it 

I very much enjoy watching him DIY, woohoo yes I do.


----------



## Caribbean Man

sandc said:


> This is how my wife is. She will do it to turn me on but expects me to finish her off. Which I do happily!


Ditto here!


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## rush

My wife does with a vibrator when we are together as this is about the only way she can usually orgasm. But lately sex has become a rare thing. I guess she is low drive, or maybe no drive. geez!


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## Anon Pink

committed4ever said:


> Some women, well, at least one -- me -- prefer the touch of their spouse rather than pleasing themselves. It's more erotic for me.
> 
> But I think you know that nothing wrong with the sex drive of women who don't masturbate. That's ridiculous. I'm extremely HD, yeah because I'm pregnant but it was never anywhere near the LD end of the scale even before I was pregnant. Your thinking is narrow if you really believe that.


What did you do before your husband? In your life now, you don't require masturbation to reach your goal, since your H happily scratches your itch. My comment was never ever, not currently don't. So, yes, I really believe that.


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## Anon Pink

sandc said:


> AP,
> were you still on the thyroid medicine when your sex drive returned? Just wondering what to expect if Caramel has to start on thyroid medication.


Yes, once your thyroid quits, it's down for life. It takes several months to find the right dosage and everyone feels the therapeutic levels differently. Also, people can be sub clinical for YEARS so they've never realized that their low drive or difficulty orgasming or problems with digestion were due to low thyroid in the first place! I think everyone should get a baseline test done at 18 and then again at 40. To be honest, I never fully got back to normal and am now considering desiccated pig thyroid. It's a huge PIA!!!!


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## committed4ever

Anon Pink said:


> What did you do before your husband? In your life now, you don't require masturbation to reach your goal, since your H happily scratches your itch. My comment was never ever, not currently don't. So, yes, I really believe that.


My H was my first. Before him I didn't do anything. And if something was wrong with my sex drive I think it would have shown up by now. That been since I was 18. Where did you get such an idea?


----------



## Anon Pink

committed4ever said:


> My H was my first. Before him I didn't do anything. And if something was wrong with my sex drive I think it would have shown up by now. That been since I was 18. Where did you get such an idea?


Child development, general psych, developmental psych, human sexuality, and other classes and texts.

Are you stating you have NEVER EVER masturbated? I simply don't believe you. Masturbation can be a few subtle strokes you know, it doesn't have to culminate in orgasm for it to be considered masturbation. All children masturbate, babies masturbate, some frequently, other only occasionally but every baby, upon finding their genitals figures out it feels good to play with them. You'll learn this soon enough though...


----------



## diwali123

AP thanks for making me realize I graduated with a psych degree 20 years ago. Lol. I'm going to drink tonight.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> Child development, general psych, developmental psych, human sexuality, and other classes and texts.
> 
> Are you stating you have NEVER EVER masturbated? I simply don't believe you. Masturbation can be a few subtle strokes you know, it doesn't have to culminate in orgasm for it to be considered masturbation. All children masturbate, babies masturbate, some frequently, other only occasionally but every baby, upon finding their genitals figures out it feels good to play with them. You'll learn this soon enough though...


Unless it was, as you say, when I was a baby, I didn't until I was well into adulthood...and only when my husband and I were having marital problems. So, yes, I can honestly say that there ARE people like c4e who don't masturbate. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. It just means they aren't like you. And, I can honestly say that, if my husband and I hadn't had the problems we did, I'd be an (almost) 38 year old woman who never did.


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## committed4ever

Anon Pink said:


> Child development, general psych, developmental psych, human sexuality, and other classes and texts.
> 
> Are you stating you have NEVER EVER masturbated? I simply don't believe you. Masturbation can be a few subtle strokes you know, it doesn't have to culminate in orgasm for it to be considered masturbation. All children masturbate, babies masturbate, some frequently, other only occasionally but every baby, upon finding their genitals figures out it feels good to play with them. You'll learn this soon enough though...


I think I did in a dream because I pretty sure I woke up to an orgasm. I was like WTH??? Because that was the first O without H. Meh. I don't see what all the fuss is about. His P feel so much better. 

But I was talking about the chemical imbalance thing? Where did you get that idea? I would think if anything a chemical imbalance would be somebody who is LD.


----------



## Anon Pink

committed4ever said:


> I think I did in a dream because I pretty sure I woke up to an orgasm. I was like WTH??? Because that was the first O without H. Meh. I don't see what all the fuss is about. His P feel so much better.
> 
> But I was talking about the chemical imbalance thing? Where did you get that idea? I would think if anything a chemical imbalance would be somebody who is LD.


I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know who all I'm about to piss off...

As children age, they either take masturbation way underground or they stop doing it. Depending on the attitudes of those around them, they learn that touching themselves is no big deal, or they learn that it is shameful and they stop exploring that part of their body. Once puberty begins, their body changes, and the urge to explore once again surfaces only this time it's strength depends on a lot of factors other than the attitudes of the adults. Girls in particular are very susceptible to learning to turn off that sexual response.

Once a girl becomes sexually explorative with a partner, she either accepts the workings of her body, as best she can given the dreadful lack of information this culture provides developing teens, or she compartmentalizes those sexual responses are appropriate to partner play but not solo play.

I'm guessing Maricha is going to get a bit huffy at this part becoming sexually active really turns on that part of our sexual responsiveness and the natural inclination to follow those feelings of heightened arousal, considering most early partners are rather abysmal at giving a girl a climax, is to masturbate. But if a girl has been raised with shame about her body, in general or due to events, she is going to deny that sexual arousal, label it as inappropriate, even when she has been liberated by Cosmo Magazine, and only allow sexual exploration to take place with a partner.

Married women who really are LD, as opposed to not wanting to have sex with their husbands for 10 million reasons, will still masturbate unless they have always felt shame about their body, or about their sexual responses. A woman who doesn't masturbate and rarely wants to have sex, is either lying to herself or has a chemical imbalance.


----------



## just got it 55

PAPS18 said:


> Committed, I think my wife feels exactly like you, except she just doesn't have the need for PIV as much as you, maybe 2-3x a month if I am lucky. Thus, I am left with having to take care of myself because 2-3x a month is not enough for me.
> 
> My wife thinks self masturbation is gross/disgusting, she is fine with me getting her off with my finger as that is probably the easiest and quickest ways to get her off-besides the few times she will actually let me go down on her-that is nearly 100% sure thing to get her to O.


100% sure to O and she rarely lets you go down ?

WTF ??


----------



## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know who all I'm about to piss off...
> 
> As children age, they either take masturbation way underground or they stop doing it. Depending on the attitudes of those around them, they learn that touching themselves is no big deal, or they learn that it is shameful and they stop exploring that part of their body. Once puberty begins, their body changes, and the urge to explore once again surfaces only this time it's strength depends on a lot of factors other than the attitudes of the adults. Girls in particular are very susceptible to learning to turn off that sexual response.
> 
> Once a girl becomes sexually explorative with a partner, she either accepts the workings of her body, as best she can given the dreadful lack of information this culture provides developing teens, or she compartmentalizes those sexual responses are appropriate to partner play but not solo play.
> 
> I'm guessing Maricha is going to get a bit huffy at this part becoming sexually active really turns on that part of our sexual responsiveness and the natural inclination to follow those feelings of heightened arousal, considering most early partners are rather abysmal at giving a girl a climax, is to masturbate. But if a girl has been raised with shame about her body, in general or due to events, she is going to deny that sexual arousal, label it as inappropriate, even when she has been liberated by Cosmo Magazine, and only allow sexual exploration to take place with a partner.
> 
> Married women who really are LD, as opposed to not wanting to have sex with their husbands for 10 million reasons, will still masturbate unless they have always felt shame about their body, or about their sexual responses. A woman who doesn't masturbate and rarely wants to have sex, is either lying to herself or has a chemical imbalance.


AP, I'm not going to get huffy. 
My only real issue is generalizations. That's it. I lost my virginity at the age of 15. My mom was very open with us about sex. I am also one of those (apparently) rare women who has never faked even one orgasm. I was never taught to be ashamed of my body. And, as far as I can remember, never told not to touch any part of myself. This is why these statements seem odd to me. I can accept, after reading some of the responses in various threads, that many DO have that experience... but I never ran into it. 

Yes, I was raised in a Christian home. Yes, they stressed abstinence before marriage. Obviously, I didn't listen to that part.  But there was never any shaming about masturbation. Tbh, I don't even recall any discussion about it at all. And, I never had any life event that would suppress my sexuality either. 

Surprisingly enough, my first partner was able to make me orgasm as well... and he was only 14, also a virgin. 

I guess, maybe I did view it as something only with a partner. And, even when my drive was slightly lower than my husband's, I didn't do it. Not until we started having trouble in our marriage. Even then, we still had sex... and I learned something about myself at that point. If I masturbated, I wasn't up for sex in any form for at least two days after. Which is why, even now, with my husband's libido lower (he's talking to the doctor at his next appointment), I wait for him...even if it takes a month for him to want sex. Do I want sex more often? Yes. But I am not willing to sacrifice the potential of sharing an orgasm with my husband for instant gratification for myself. IMO, it's just not worth it.

As for your last part "Married women who really are LD, as opposed to not wanting to have sex with their husbands for 10 million reasons, will still masturbate unless they have always felt shame about their body, or about their sexual responses. A woman who doesn't masturbate and rarely wants to have sex, is either lying to herself or has a chemical imbalance."... not sure if I even fall into he category mentioned. I'm not LD, I want sex with my husband, I feel no shame about my body (aside from my weight, but that doesn't affect my response, etc WITH HIM), no shame about my sexual response. I still choose not to masturbate because I save my sexual energy for my husband. No lying, and no chemical imbalance. I guess I'm just an anomaly.


----------



## Anon Pink

Okay, so you are high sexual drive. You are subtly turned on and ready to have sex; your body is eager and wanting. You will wait "even if it takes a month" for your husband to satisfy you. You make this choice because if you masturbated on this day, you would not be ready to have sex again for a few days. 

Couple of thoughts...
1. That's not high sex drive. Someone with a high sex drive would be ready to have sex again at least within a few hours, certainly not days later. While there is no set rule the general guide is "always ready" and you're not.
2. You go through extended periods of being ready, but not getting any and not willing to take the chance of missing out with your H. Ummm do ever get road rage? Feel tense and agitated often? Makea fuss out of something inconsequential? If yes, maybe rubbing one out might be a good idea...:smthumbup:
3. How you feel about your body does play a role in how comfortable you are with self pleasure.
4. How would you feel about the suggestion to start masturbating, say every Tuesday. If your H hasn't been tending to your needs, they are building. If you decide to masturbate every Tuesday, that would give your H all weekend to tend to you, and give you several days before the next weekend. Are you offended by the suggestion?

Children learn shame about their bodies from very early on. Even a parent making stink eye faces when changing a messy diaper can convey shame. So even though you mother never threatened you with eternal hell fire for touching your naughty bits, there are LOTS of ways it gets communicated. Girls growing up with weight problems are prone to feel shame, just because the messages our culture bombards our kids with.

Now let me ask you another question. If you were told that you needed to have 5 orgasms each week, in order to...make something up here...stay healthy, how do feel about masturbation as a means to reach the goal or 5 orgasms every week? Does the thought of touching yourself make you feel dishonest, untrue, sleezey... Examine your attitude about masturbation and what really keeps you from making yourself feel fantastic?


----------



## Stella Moon

I can't leave myself alone...


----------



## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> Okay, so you are high sexual drive. You are subtly turned on and ready to have sex; your body is eager and wanting. You will wait "even if it takes a month" for your husband to satisfy you. You make this choice because if you masturbated on this day, you would not be ready to have sex again for a few days.
> 
> Couple of thoughts...
> 1. That's not high sex drive. Someone with a high sex drive would be ready to have sex again at least within a few hours, certainly not days later. While there is no set rule the general guide is "always ready" and you're not.


I said if I MASTURBATED I wouldn't be ready again for a few days. If we have sex, I am ready to go, even a few hours later. There's a difference, which, surely, you can understand. Also, I didn't say I am HIGH DRIVE. I said my drive is currently HIGHER than my husband's. There's a difference.




Anon Pink said:


> 2. You go through extended periods of being ready, but not getting any and not willing to take the chance of missing out with your H. Ummm do ever get road rage? Feel tense and agitated often? Makea fuss out of something inconsequential? If yes, maybe rubbing one out might be a good idea...:smthumbup:



You would have to drive in order to get road rage. Fussing about inconsequential things? The only time I have ever noticed anything like that is the week before my period and the first few days of it. But do I get agitated about anything else any other time? I'll have to ask him if it's a constant/nearly constant thing and figure out the root of it. 



Anon Pink said:


> 3. How you feel about your body does play a role in how comfortable you are with self pleasure.


Interesting. I'm comfortable with my body. Do I like being overweight? No. Who does, really? But as for what other people think, I couldn't care less. The only person whose opinion matters to me is my husband's. I've been a "big girl" during all of our marriage, even before. And, as I said before, the only time I have done it is when we were having problems. That was when I learned how my body was when comparing sex and masturbation. And, at that time, I didn't care whether I had sex with him or not. 




Anon Pink said:


> 4. How would you feel about the suggestion to start masturbating, say every Tuesday. If your H hasn't been tending to your needs, they are building. If you decide to masturbate every Tuesday, that would give your H all weekend to tend to you, and give you several days before the next weekend. Are you offended by the suggestion?


Well, considering we are both home all day, everyday, which means we could, conceivably, have sex any day of the week, why would I even contemplate such an absurd suggestion. Yes, the suggestion offends me. What you don't seem to understand is that I have no desire to masturbate. Also, you seem to have missed the part where my husband will be talking to his doctor about this issue, now that WE have identified, together, that there is, indeed, a problem. So, WHY would I start something up which, FOR ME, would only throw up a roadblock in getting our sex life back on track? The idea is ridiculous, TO ME. Hey, maybe you would have no problems with it for yourself, in the same situation. More power to you. But no matter how much it builds, my husband is more important to me than instant gratification. 



Anon Pink said:


> Children learn shame about their bodies from very early on. Even a parent making stink eye faces when changing a messy diaper can convey shame. So even though you mother never threatened you with eternal hell fire for touching your naughty bits, there are LOTS of ways it gets communicated. Girls growing up with weight problems are prone to feel shame, just because the messages our culture bombards our kids with.


Well, I don't remember anything from when I was a baby, so maybe my parents shamed me then, during diaper changes. :rofl: 

I didn't start having weight problems until junior high/high school. Even then, it didn't affect how many boys looked at me. Not that I could tell. I still had boyfriends. I still went out. Society/culture in general may make girls ashamed of being larger, but the people who matter to me did/do not. 




Anon Pink said:


> Now let me ask you another question. If you were told that you needed to have 5 orgasms each week, in order to...make something up here...stay healthy, how do feel about masturbation as a means to reach the goal or 5 orgasms every week? Does the thought of touching yourself make you feel dishonest, untrue, sleezey... Examine your attitude about masturbation and *what really keeps you from making yourself feel fantastic?*


You're kidding right? So the only way for a woman to "feel fantastic" about herself is if she masturbates? Wow... you're attitude about this particular subject is unbelievable. Why is it so hard to comprehend that there are women who have no desire to have solo orgasms? Why is it so hard to comprehend that there are women who desire to share any/all sexual experiences with their husbands? What would I do if I was told I needed 5 orgasms each week in order to stay healthy? Figure out a way to have them... WITH MY HUSBAND participating. Just as we'd do the same if HE was told he needed that release 5 times a week for the same reason. Yea, you read that correctly. He would do the same thing I said I would do. HE doesn't masturbate either. 

Yea, I know you're going to come back with something like "that you know of..." or "he just hides it really well...".... Spare me. I know better, as I have said in many threads before.

So, my answer, FOR ME, regarding masturbation, is that if my choices are to masturbate to get 5 orgasms each week (minimum) or my health will decline... for ME, and ME alone, my health would decline. Sex, in any form, is to be shared with my husband. But that's just MY opinion. What you choose to do for yourself is insignificant to me.


----------



## Maricha75

AP, I just wanted to say that I am sorry if my previous post came across as b!tchy. My only real concern is the thought that a woman who chooses not to masturbate must not like sex...or some equivalent thought. That is absolutely untrue. I just wish people would acknowledge that.


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## committed4ever

Maricha75 said:


> AP, I just wanted to say that I am sorry if my previous post came across as b!tchy. *My only real concern is the thought that a woman who chooses not to masturbate must not like sex*...or some equivalent thought. That is absolutely untrue. I just wish people would acknowledge that.


The part in bold. Except it's not really a concern, it's that I find it ridiculous. Especially in my case and Maricha's because we have both stated we would rather have the real thing. So then, it really must be the reverse ... women who masturbate don't like sex ... they just want to simulate sex but they don't really want a man involved.

See how ridiculous that sounds? That's how ridiculous your fixation on and insistence that every woman masturbates or something is wrong sounds to me.

When I had that dream and woke up to an orgasm, my thoughts were exactly the opposite -- this SUCKS without my husband. There's no skin to skin, no caressing, no verbal afterplay, no squeezing, and no basking in the high of orgasm while holding each other. And I go DAYS longing for my husband with his travel. I think for April he was home for about 8 days, maybe less. But I wanted *him* to "pleasure" me, not self pleasure. I mean, hey, if others find that pleasurable, then seriously, wonderful for you! I just found it empty.


----------



## Anon Pink

So you find masturbation empty because you view sex and sexual pleasure as a partnered activity only. And that's why you don't masturbate. Thats the part that is untrue. Thats the part where you aren't being honest with yourselves. That's the part where you are missing out on part of your sexual enjoyment. Yes, I hear that you don't enjoy it. What I'm suggesting is that somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is shameful and that's why it leaves you empty.

Make yourself feel fantastic, NOT make yourself feel fantastic ABOUT yourself, very different. You can let your fantasies run wild, get off, then report to you H all your dirty thoughts about him as you pleasured yourself. But this scenario leaves you cold, even when you're hot for him. Somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is cheating...shameful, and it's not.

It's almost like you two are patting yourselves on the back for your purity, pleasure being only for partnered play. 

There are lots of ways to incorporate masturbation into your partnered play. Not that it is my, or anyone else's business, but if you H wanted you to masturbate while he watched would you be okay with that? What if he wanted you to masturbate while he was away, thinking of him?

The decision not to masturbate is unhealthy and you are cutting yourself off from fully exploring your sexuality. You are not holding out for the real deal. You are avoiding feeling of shame associated with masturbation. You don't masturbate because you haven't opened yourselves to you full sexual experiences. My belief is that holding yourself back, in this manner, is repressing your sexuality in favor of only allowing enjoyment under conditions that are socially acceptable. Thats repression, and that's not healthy.

I don't expect either of you will take this post in the spirit it was intended. We're all seeking a complete and fulfilling life, on different paths, with different tools, and different stumbling blocks. My hope is that some of this info will sink in and you will see growth and positive change in yourselves. maybe you're not ready yet, maybe Ive angered you so much I've turned you back. Growth is hard and uncomfortable, but so so worth it!


----------



## Suspecting

They still teach to teens in religious schools that masturbation is wrong. It's shocking actually.


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## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> So you find masturbation empty because you view sex and sexual pleasure as a partnered activity only. And that's why you don't masturbate. Thats the part that is untrue. Thats the part where you aren't being honest with yourselves. That's the part where you are missing out on part of your sexual enjoyment. Yes, I hear that you don't enjoy it. What I'm suggesting is that somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is shameful and that's why it leaves you empty.


YOU see it as missing out. We don't. I get that you don't understand why someone will feel that way, unless they got the message that masturbation is shameful. But honestly, that's not even close to the truth. It left me empty because it WAS empty. I want HIS hands on me, arousing me. To say I'm not being honest with myself about this is actually insulting. 



Anon Pink said:


> Make yourself feel fantastic, NOT make yourself feel fantastic ABOUT yourself, very different. You can let your fantasies run wild, get off, then report to you H all your dirty thoughts about him as you pleasured yourself. But this scenario leaves you cold, even when you're hot for him. Somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is cheating...shameful, and it's not.


On the flipside, I can talk about my fantasies with him WITHOUT touching myself. I can tell him what I want him to do, to try, to experiment, and I will have his body with me. I don't see masturbation as cheating at all. You are making assumptions about this, which are completely untrue. 

You are suggesting that masturbation will make me "feel fantastic", not "feel fantastic about" myself, is that correct? AP, I have felt the physical release from masturbation. Yea, physically, it felt good. I got off. That's it. There was nothing more to attribute to it. Physically, it could have been done with anyone or alone. But, unlike with my husband, it was empty. There was no connection. I never learned anything new about myself. Everything was already known. It was a quick fix, nothing more.



Anon Pink said:


> It's almost like you two are patting yourselves on the back for your purity, pleasure being only for partnered play.


I'm sorry you see it that way. But don't you see how we feel insulted by your comments that we're missing out because we don't do it? I'm not patting myself on the back at all. In fact, I acknowledge that masturbation is a natural urge. But I also know that, for me, it's an empty release. It's not that way for some people. I know this. And if it works for them, fine. So why is it so bad for me to live in a way that works for me? How does that equate to "patting [myself] on the back"? :scratchhead:



Anon Pink said:


> There are lots of ways to incorporate masturbation into your partnered play. Not that it is my, or anyone else's business, but if you H wanted you to masturbate while he watched would you be okay with that? What if he wanted you to masturbate while he was away, thinking of him?


Ahh, see, this is a scenario that I know won't happen. Why? A couple years ago, I was going to a toy party with a few friends (Pure Romance). When I got invited, we discussed getting toys. He was cool with it... but with stipulations. Only used with him. AND only he would use it/them on me. So, the idea of him suggesting that I masturbate for him is absurd to me. He would never request that.



Anon Pink said:


> The decision not to masturbate is unhealthy and you are cutting yourself off from fully exploring your sexuality. You are not holding out for the real deal. You are avoiding feeling of shame associated with masturbation. You don't masturbate because you haven't opened yourselves to you full sexual experiences. *My belief* is that holding yourself back, in this manner, is repressing your sexuality in favor of only allowing enjoyment under conditions that are socially acceptable. Thats repression, and that's not healthy.


And this is really the whole point of your post... YOUR belief. YOU think these things to be true, so you can't imagine why a woman would feel differently about masturbation, in her own marriage/relationship, unless she has been sexually repressed and/or is lying to herself. You can't understand why a woman would hold to the belief that her sexual energies should be spent solely on/with her spouse because you choose to pleasure yourself.

You claim it is unhealthy to feel the way we do about sex and masturbation in our marriages. I think it is unhealthy to belittle the choices each person makes in his or her own sex life. As long as both parties are happy, why does it matter? You like to masturbate. Ok, more power to you. I don't... so that makes me unhealthy? I believe it only makes me different from you.



Anon Pink said:


> I don't expect either of you will take this post in the spirit it was intended. We're all seeking a complete and fulfilling life, on different paths, with different tools, and different stumbling blocks. My hope is that some of this info will sink in and you will see growth and positive change in yourselves. maybe you're not ready yet, maybe Ive angered you so much I've turned you back. Growth is hard and uncomfortable, but so so worth it!


And what spirit is that, exactly? 
1. You say we are lying to ourselves.
2. You insist we are repressing ourselves.
3. You insist that we view masturbation as cheating...shameful.
4. You assume our husbands would WANT us to masturbate for/with them.
5. You insists that not masturbating is unhealthy.

What did I miss?

AP, this is completely your *opinion* on the subject. Masturbation isn't a necessity to be healthy sexually. Maybe for you, it is. But it certainly isn't true for everyone. Masturbation isn't a necessity for "growth and positive change"... It is a personal preference. I'm sorry you can't accept that we just don't view this subject the same way you do... and that you don't understand that some choose the way I do not because of sexual repression, but because they prefer the feel of their spouses over themselves. I am not angry. Not even close to angry. Just sad that my own preferences are being labeled as unhealthy, lies, repression, and the like.

c4e, I apologize if I have made any assumptions that you agree with all I have said. I will not be offended if you disagree with any of this post.


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## Maricha75

AP, one more thing I didn't mention above. My husband is currently suffering with severe depression. He is bipolar, but his is such that his "manic" is closer to light depression/normal behavior... his depressed state is VERY depressed. He is having physical issues in the sexual department. He has had so many medication changes that it's scary. Add to that, he has gained quite a bit of weight with these different medications. Also, I suspect his T production is low. As it is, he has felt less like a man due to the problems he has had in this area. Knowing him as I do, it would drive him further into depression, thinking he can't satisfy me, etc, if I were so inclined to pleasure myself. It doesn't matter how irrational his thought is to you. I understand him. I understand why he feels the way he does. It's just one more reason I don't do it. It's not worth breaking him mentally just for me to get an instant "fix". Before he got sick, we could easily go every other day on a regular basis (save for the above mentioned bad period in our marriage). 3-4 times a week is great for me. 1-2 times a week would be a good compromise. And, hopefully his doctor can figure this out. Until then... I can do without. Why? Because he is TRYING to get things fixed. Any potential setbacks aren't worth it to me.... even ones that claim to be "healthy" for you.


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## Anon Pink

You have mentioned your husbands difficulties in other posts and I hope he finds health very soon.

...maybe if he rubbed one off occasionally.... KIDDING!

But you just proved my point. There is shame associated with masturbation. Your H is the source of your shame. Because he feels your sexual pleasure belongs to partnered play only, you buy into his feelings of shame regarding masturbation. You don't want to hurt him so you don't play with yourself.

Masturbating does lots of good things for both men and women. Just google it and read for yourself. But you probably already know this stuff...


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## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> You have mentioned your husbands difficulties in other posts and I hope he finds health very soon.
> 
> ...maybe if he rubbed one off occasionally.... KIDDING!
> 
> But you just proved my point. There is shame associated with masturbation. Your H is the source of your shame. Because he feels your sexual pleasure belongs to partnered play only, you buy into his feelings of shame regarding masturbation. You don't want to hurt him so you don't play with yourself.
> 
> Masturbating does lots of good things for both men and women. Just google it and read for yourself. But you probably already know this stuff...


Sigh... I wasn't doing it even before he got sick, AP. This is my point. For me, it only added to the problems, it helped nothing. I felt this way about it LONG before he even got sick. It isn't HE feels this way, thus I buy into it. WE feel this way, and have from the start of our relationship. It was only during a brief (maybe 2 years tops?) period of time that I did it, when we were having problems. After getting things resolved, I felt no need for self gratification. And he never has since we married...possibly even before we married. I really don't know. But, since men are supposedly more visual than we ladies are, he'd have to have some visual aid, which we have agreed we do not want in our house, and will toss if anyone brings it in here.

And as for the health benefits you mention, same can be applied to intercourse and oral sex. I think, so we don't end up truly offending one another, we should just agree to disagree on this. I don't care if someone else masturbates. It works for them. I choose not to, and that works for me.


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## just got it 55

Suspecting said:


> They still teach to teens in religious schools that masturbation is wrong. It's shocking actually.


My mom told me If I did it I would go blind So I asked her if I could just do it until I had to ware glasses. She then put me to bed with boxing gloves on


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## Holland

What is the big deal? Can't see that DIY is any different to other sex acts, it is a choice people can make for themselves. Not everything has to have some deep rooted reason behind a person not wanting to do it. Sure some people may have been shamed into not doing it or whatever reason but some people simply choose not to do it and it is totally up to them, no justification is needed.

I get myself off often, always have but there are other acts that I have no interest in, who cares.

Just wanted to add though that giving your partner a little peek or a full on show is very exciting and liberating. It can really add some spice to your sex life and is a giving thing so should not make a partner feel like they are not satisfying you. Win/win you both have fun.


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## I Notice The Details

Holland said:


> Just wanted to add though that giving your partner a little peek or a full on show is very exciting and liberating. It can really add some spice to your sex life and is a giving thing so should not make a partner feel like they are not satisfying you. Win/win you both have fun.


:iagree: 1 Million percent. 

Nothing is sexier than seeing a women giving themselves pleasure!!! Holland, your husband is one lucky man! I am still hoping, waiting, and fantasizing about watching my Princess do this.


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## committed4ever

Anon Pink said:


> So you find masturbation empty because you view sex and sexual pleasure as a partnered activity only. And that's why you don't masturbate. Thats the part that is untrue. Thats the part where you aren't being honest with yourselves. That's the part where you are missing out on part of your sexual enjoyment. Yes, I hear that you don't enjoy it. What I'm suggesting is that somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is shameful and that's why it leaves you empty.
> 
> Make yourself feel fantastic, NOT make yourself feel fantastic ABOUT yourself, very different. You can let your fantasies run wild, get off, then report to you H all your dirty thoughts about him as you pleasured yourself. But this scenario leaves you cold, even when you're hot for him. Somewhere along the line you got the message that masturbation is cheating...shameful, and it's not.
> 
> It's almost like you two are patting yourselves on the back for your purity, pleasure being only for partnered play.
> 
> There are lots of ways to incorporate masturbation into your partnered play. Not that it is my, or anyone else's business, *but if you H wanted you to masturbate while he watched would you be okay with that? What if he wanted you to masturbate while he was away, thinking of him?*
> The decision not to masturbate is unhealthy and you are cutting yourself off from fully exploring your sexuality. You are not holding out for the real deal. You are avoiding feeling of shame associated with masturbation. You don't masturbate because you haven't opened yourselves to you full sexual experiences. My belief is that holding yourself back, in this manner, is repressing your sexuality in favor of only allowing enjoyment under conditions that are socially acceptable. Thats repression, and that's not healthy.
> 
> I don't expect either of you will take this post in the spirit it was intended. We're all seeking a complete and fulfilling life, on different paths, with different tools, and different stumbling blocks. My hope is that some of this info will sink in and you will see growth and positive change in yourselves. maybe you're not ready yet, maybe Ive angered you so much I've turned you back. Growth is hard and uncomfortable, but so so worth it!


Well, *Doctor* Pink (LOL) I don't know what spirit you intend this post, and no it did not anger me at all. I actual find it fascinating that you have given me a free psychiatric session. Good thing it free because I wouldn't pay you a dime for it! (Just kidding).

But no, your psychoanalysis, though quite detailed, is quite wrong in my case. But I will tell you that's an interesting scenario you paint above in bold, moreso the masturbation while he watch. I don't think either one of us would last more than a couple minutes before it cease to be a spectator sport. Sort of seem like a wasted orgasm if he's right there. 

As far as when he's away, no because I know I would be craving his touch after that so it would only be torture for me. Now if we were on the phone together and he was doing some sweet talking while it was happening, and then stayed on the phone for some verbal after-play ...


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## committed4ever

> c4e, I apologize if I have made any assumptions that you agree with all I have said. I will not be offended if you disagree with any of this post.


Yes, I did totally agree with what you said Maricha. Except I found it more *fascinating *, rather than concerning, that she seem to really think someone should like something just because she does.


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## I Notice The Details

Pleasure can be very pleasurable....


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## committed4ever

> Pleasure can be very pleasurable....
> Attached Images




I know exactly how you feel about it INTD.

That head shot look just like one of the boudoir pics that I'm giving my H for our Anniversary.


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## I Notice The Details

committed4ever said:


> I know exactly how you feel about it INTD.
> 
> That head shot look just like one of the boudoir pics that I'm giving my H for our Anniversary.


Your H is a lucky man!!!! I am sure it is beautiful and he will cherish it.


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## committed4ever

I Notice The Details said:


> Your H is a lucky man!!!! I am sure it is beautiful and he will cherish it.


I hope so! I'm kinda nervous because it was out of my comfort zone.


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## sandc

committed4ever said:


> I hope so! I'm kinda nervous because it was out of my comfort zone.


Speaking for all husbands everywhere... he will LOVE it.


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## I Notice The Details

committed4ever said:


> I hope so! I'm kinda nervous because it was out of my comfort zone.


Good for you. It takes guts to do this kind of photo shoot, and he will appreciate even more because it was hard for you. AWESOME! You should look at it and be proud every time you see it. 

BTW...whenever I am out of my comfort zone in life situations, I always find that it makes me a better, more confident person when the situation is over. For this reason, I challenge myself to get "uncomfortable" more often. These are the times where I take chances, and learn/grow the most. Does that make sense?


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## Maricha75

sandc said:


> Speaking for all husbands everywhere... he will LOVE it.


Ummm... while I can agree that all husbands (unless they're asexual or secretly gay) would love such pictures of their wives... not all would like someone else taking those pictures of their wives. For them, the options are her setting up the camera, getting in place, etc and then printing them herself....or HE takes the pictures. Some are a bit particular about others seeing their wives naked.


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## sandc

Maricha75 said:


> Ummm... while I can agree that all husbands (unless they're asexual or secretly gay) would love such pictures of their wives... not all would like someone else taking those pictures of their wives. For them, the options are her setting up the camera, getting in place, etc and then printing them herself....or HE takes the pictures. Some are a bit particular about others seeing their wives naked.


Probably. I don't get worked up about it. Besides, most of the studios that do boudoir photography in my area are staffed by women so maybe I'm assuming. And most boudoir photos are not fully nude. But again...


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## ScarletBegonias

I did my own boudoir photos for SO.  I like photography and they turned out really nice.


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## committed4ever

Maricha75 said:


> Ummm... while I can agree that all husbands (unless they're asexual or secretly gay) would love such pictures of their wives... *not all would like someone else taking those pictures of their wives. *For them, the options are her setting up the camera, getting in place, etc and then printing them herself....or HE takes the pictures. Some are a bit particular about others seeing their wives naked.


I don't think he will mind since it was 2 women photographers. it's just even though they are great pics and tastefully done they are so sensual and sexy that they're not me. I posted a thread about on another subforum.


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## Maricha75

committed4ever said:


> I don't think he will mind since it was 2 women photographers. it's just even though they are great pics and tastefully done they are so sensual and sexy that they're not me. I posted a thread about on another subforum.


Oh, that wasn't the point I was making lol. What I was saying is that not ALL husbands would be ok with someone else taking pictures of their wives in sexy poses, whether the photographer was male or female. Some are cool with it. And that's fine, either way. My husband is one who, it wouldn't matter whether the photographer was a man or a woman... if he's not taking the pictures, or if I don't do them myself, he would not be ok with pictures of that nature. That's fine with me... I'd feel the same way if, for whatever reason, he wanted to give me pictures like that.


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## I Notice The Details

committed4ever said:


> I don't think he will mind since it was 2 women photographers. it's just even though they are great pics and tastefully done they are so sensual and sexy that they're not me. I posted a thread about on another subforum.


They are you!!!!....and your husband will see that sexy side of you coming thru in those beautiful pictures. It is just one side of your personality. Sometime in the future, just ask your husband what he sees in the picture and really listen to what he tells you. It is all YOU. You are very loving and sexy for doing this bold thing for him. He is a lucky man!


----------



## committed4ever

ScarletBegonias said:


> I did my own boudoir photos for SO.  I like photography and they turned out really nice.


wow Scarlet my hat's off to you than must have been a lot of work! Those ladies were all over the place - even standing on ladder! Did you use a remote or a timer? Even their posing was extremely detailed. "pout a little more open your mouth slightly, a little more, tilt your chin, open your eyes wider." I felt like I should have gotten paid when we're done! :lol:


----------



## ScarletBegonias

committed4ever said:


> wow Scarlet my hat's off to you than must have been a lot of work! Those ladies were all over the place - even standing on ladder! Did you use a remote or a timer? Even their posing was extremely detailed. "pout a little more open your mouth slightly, a little more, tilt your chin, open your eyes wider." I felt like I should have gotten paid when we're done! :lol:


I think mine may have been a bit more organic.SO likes me in the most natural of states so my photo session with myself was simple.
Lighting,yes. Various camera angles,definitely.
Posing came natural...in some,and this sounds weird,I had the radio turned on to a comedy channel so I'd have a natural laugh in some of the shots.He loves when I'm naked with a laughing smile on my face 
Some were in sexy lingerie,some were naked with hot shoes,some were just completely bare.Nothing lewd or porn worthy,more like a sly peak at nakedness without really showing the bits and pieces in detail.
It was fun


----------



## committed4ever

Maricha75 said:


> Oh, that wasn't the point I was making lol. What I was saying is that not ALL husbands would be ok with someone else taking pictures of their wives in sexy poses, whether the photographer was male or female. Some are cool with it. And that's fine, either way. My husband is one who, it wouldn't matter whether the photographer was a man or a woman... if he's not taking the pictures, or if I don't do them myself, he would not be ok with pictures of that nature. That's fine with me... I'd feel the same way if, for whatever reason, he wanted to give me pictures like that.


Oh lawd! Now you got me thinking I should have asked him first! I wanted it to be a surprise....


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Maricha75 said:


> Oh, that wasn't the point I was making lol. What I was saying is that not ALL husbands would be ok with someone else taking pictures of their wives in sexy poses, whether the photographer was male or female. Some are cool with it. And that's fine, either way. My husband is one who, it wouldn't matter whether the photographer was a man or a woman... if he's not taking the pictures, or if I don't do them myself, he would not be ok with pictures of that nature. That's fine with me... I'd feel the same way if, for whatever reason, he wanted to give me pictures like that.


My SO would have an issue with me being in various states of undress regardless of the sex of the photographer.


----------



## committed4ever

ScarletBegonias said:


> I think mine may have been a bit more organic.SO likes me in the most natural of states so my photo session with myself was simple.
> Lighting,yes. Various camera angles,definitely.
> Posing came natural...in some,and this sounds weird,I had the radio turned on to a comedy channel so I'd have a natural laugh in some of the shots.He loves when I'm naked with a laughing smile on my face
> Some were in sexy lingerie,some were naked with hot shoes,some were just completely bare.Nothing lewd or porn worthy,more like a sly peak at nakedness without really showing the bits and pieces in detail.
> It was fun


You sound like a pro!


----------



## committed4ever

ScarletBegonias said:


> My SO would have an issue with me being in various states of undress regardless of the sex of the photographer.


Really? Now I'm depressed! INTD, - i hope you're right! They cost a LOT of money!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

committed4ever said:


> Really? Now I'm depressed! They cost a LOT of money!


Awww! don't be depressed! I'm sure it's fine!


----------



## Almostrecovered

shhhh...don't tell Nsweet


----------



## Maricha75

committed4ever said:


> Really? Now I'm depressed! INTD, - i hope you're right! They cost a LOT of money!


c4e, YOU know YOUR HUSBAND. Your husband is not MINE (obviously). You already stated that the fact that your photographers were women would be cool with him... YOU know this about HIM already. Which is why I think he will definitely like them. My husband is just different. He is more like SB's SO, in that respect.

See, I suspect that, if you knew ahead of time that he would be uncomfortable with someone else taking the photos, you would have found a way around it, like SB did... taking them yourself. From the sounds of how you describe him, you have nothing to worry about on that front. DO NOT second guess yourself!


----------



## Anon Pink

I Notice The Details said:


> BTW...whenever I am out of my comfort zone in life situations, I always find that it makes me a better, more confident person when the situation is over. For this reason, I challenge myself to get "uncomfortable" more often. These are the times where I take chances, and learn/grow the most. Does that make sense?



:iagree:

Well done gentle persuasion.


----------



## Anon Pink

ScarletBegonias said:


> I did my own boudoir photos for SO.  I like photography and they turned out really nice.


Lucky girl! I would love to have them done having reached several milestones and come through battles with personal demons as well as health! I think Mr. Pink would like them, but I have been only mildly successful at easing his anxiety every time I pull out the check book, so this would be stretching his comfort zone far too much at this point. Scrooge McDuck comes to mind...


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Anon Pink said:


> Lucky girl! I would love to have them done having reached several milestones and come through battles with personal demons as well as health! I think Mr. Pink would like them, but I have been only mildly successful at easing his anxiety every time I pull out the check book, so this would be stretching his comfort zone far too much at this point. Scrooge McDuck comes to mind...


Do them yourself  Start small and if you like them then work up to doing all the fun stuff like lighting and background


----------



## Anon Pink

ScarletBegonias said:


> Do them yourself  Start small and if you like them then work up to doing all the fun stuff like lighting and background


I have ZERO artistic ability and am hopeless with a camera, though I like to blame the camera... Everyone who knows me knows NOT to let me try to get the shot. I regularly send naughty selfies to Mr. Pink when he travels, but those are very different from the glamorous boudoir shots.


----------



## Zatol Ugot?

ScarletBegonias said:


> Do them yourself  Start small and if you like them then work up to doing all the fun stuff like lighting and background


SB,
I'm a little jealous of your husband. Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade my wife for anything and I love her like no other. But I wish she were a little more open and adventurous to do things like this. I would be ecstatic if she did something like this for me, professional or not.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Anon Pink said:


> I have ZERO artistic ability and am hopeless with a camera, though I like to blame the camera... Everyone who knows me knows NOT to let me try to get the shot. I regularly send naughty selfies to Mr. Pink when he travels, but those are very different from the glamorous boudoir shots.


drag that tripod out lady! You might be pleasantly surprised at how they turn out.if you lack creativity,you can always troll google for ideas 

I bet Mr.Pink would drool over his very own album of sexy Mrs.Pink photos 

Ya know how to make it look glamorous? White background or white wall,dramatic makeup,pose on an antiquey looking chair,edit the living sh*t out of it to blur the edges and turn it black n white. VOILA! Insta-glamour!


----------



## Almostrecovered

3D camera FTW


----------



## Maricha75

ScarletBegonias said:


> drag that tripod out lady! You might be pleasantly surprised at how they turn out.if you lack creativity,you can always troll google for ideas
> 
> I bet Mr.Pink would drool over his very own album of sexy Mrs.Pink photos
> 
> Ya know how to make it look glamorous? White background or white wall,dramatic makeup,pose on an antiquey looking chair,edit the living sh*t out of it to blur the edges and turn it black n white. VOILA! Insta-glamour!


Dang girl... now you're building MY confidence up! 
Gotta see what I have to work with (no tripod, so would have to improvise quite a bit there), and like you said, start small.

Honestly, AP, if Mr. Pink is happy with the naughty pics you send him already, all ya gotta do is, as SB suggested, google ideas for poses and such and go from there.


----------



## sandc

ScarletBegonias said:


> I did my own boudoir photos for SO.  I like photography and they turned out really nice.


Prolly not going to show up on the "What are you NOT wearing today" thread are they?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Maricha75 said:


> Dang girl... now you're building MY confidence up!
> Gotta see what I have to work with (no tripod, so would have to improvise quite a bit there), and like you said, start small.


That little photo shoot was so beneficial to my confidence.Of course I did some shots where I thought "DELETE IMMEDIATELY!!!"
You should go for it! 
No tripod,no problem! Table top with a stack of thick books is a perfect camera perch.Do some naughty wifey in the kitchen photos,apron,spatula in hand with cake batter dripping off it, place the camera on top the microwave and aim it toward you


----------



## sandc

Maricha75 said:


> Dang girl... now you're building MY confidence up!
> Gotta see what I have to work with (no tripod, so would have to improvise quite a bit there), and like you said, start small.
> 
> Honestly, AP, if Mr. Pink is happy with the naughty pics you send him already, all ya gotta do is, as SB suggested, google ideas for poses and such and go from there.


I still say you two play the naughty photographer.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

For my birthday,SO has promised to let me photograph him in various states of undress.I have a whole ton of ideas for him already.VERY EXCITED!!!


----------



## Maricha75

sandc said:


> I still say you two play the naughty photographer.


:rofl:
That may be step one... see what he likes


----------



## ChristinaDD

Really? Sounds disgusting to me.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

ChristinaDD said:


> Really? Sounds disgusting to me.


Almost as disgusting as someone coming to a pro-marriage website flaunting their affair,looking for people to tell how to justify said affair,and learning new ways to gaslight the husband...


----------



## Maricha75

ScarletBegonias said:


> Almost as disgusting as someone coming to a pro-marriage website flaunting their affair,looking for people to tell how to justify said affair,and learning new ways to gaslight the husband...


No, SB, the scenario you described is MUCH worse than masturbating (or is ChristinaDD talking about the boudoir pics? :scratchhead: ). Either way, what you said is MUCH worse than either of those.


FTR, AP, as much as I spoke against masturbating (for myself), I'd choose THAT over having sex with some man other than my husband... YUCK!!!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

Maricha75 said:


> No, SB, the scenario you described is MUCH worse than masturbating (or is ChristinaDD talking about the boudoir pics? :scratchhead: ). Either way, what you said is MUCH worse than either of those.
> 
> 
> FTR, AP, as much as I spoke against masturbating (for myself), I'd choose THAT over having sex with some man other than my husband... YUCK!!!


I agree.I was being sarcastic in my post


----------



## committed4ever

ChristinaDD said:


> Really? Sounds disgusting to me.


Christina, just curious, what do you find disgusting, taking the pictures?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

committed4ever said:


> Christina, just curious, what do you find disgusting, taking the pictures?


Her excellent reading comprehension skills told her we were discussing taking photographs of people masturbating.She finds that low class apparently.


----------



## TCSRedhead

Apparently, we are low class. Whatever.


----------



## committed4ever

Maricha75 said:


> c4e, *YOU know YOUR HUSBAND. *Your husband is not MINE (obviously). You already stated that the fact that your photographers were women would be cool with him... YOU know this about HIM already. Which is why I think he will definitely like them. My husband is just different. He is more like SB's SO, in that respect.
> 
> See, I suspect that, if you knew ahead of time that he would be uncomfortable with someone else taking the photos, you would have found a way around it, like SB did... taking them yourself. From the sounds of how you describe him, you have nothing to worry about on that front. DO NOT second guess yourself!


Part in bold -- yeah, I know he's *unpredictable!* I said that about the women photographers because I was thinking you thought they were male. It never occurred to me that a man would object to such pics being taken by a woman! Then when you and SB said you know your H's would object, I felt like, daag, maybe I have gaged this wrong! I was only nervous about the pics themselves, not the fact that someone else took them

I'm thinking about going ahead and give him the pics tonight so that if there is any objections we will be over it by the time of our anniversary. I'll let y'all know what happened.

_ETA: No dice. I thought they were ready and waiting for my pickup but the packaging of the album is not done._


----------



## sandc

I love our TAM ladies! You gals are awesome! :smthumbup:


----------



## Maricha75

c4e, I apologize for making you second guess yourself. 
That certainly was NOT my intention, at all. Do you have any tendencies toward liking the ladies? Honestly, that's the only reason I could see for YOUR husband objecting. Mine, however, lol...well, he is one who wouldn't want the chance that the photographers would take an interest lol. He's weird, sometimes. But that's how I know how he would think of it. 

BUT, even knowing things as I have known in the past... i think that may be a subject worth discussing with him just to be certain. But please, c4e, don't let MY husband's feelings on something, nor SB's SO's feelings about it to be the template for YOUR husband. They are three very different individuals, hon.


----------



## Anon Pink

ScarletBegonias said:


> drag that tripod out lady! You might be pleasantly surprised at how they turn out.if you lack creativity,you can always troll google for ideas
> 
> I bet Mr.Pink would drool over his very own album of sexy Mrs.Pink photos
> 
> Ya know how to make it look glamorous? White background or white wall,dramatic makeup,pose on an antiquey looking chair,edit the living sh*t out of it to blur the edges and turn it black n white. VOILA! Insta-glamour!



I did it! They turned out terrible in terms of quality photograph but they were good enough to email an illustrated narrative. Damn that was fun! He's traveling this week so I hope he returns the favor with one of his "tales of the horny housewife" stories!

THANKS!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

YAY!! Way to go!!I bet he gets an instant boner!!


----------



## Anon Pink

I'll let you know how it turns out....


----------



## Maricha75

Anon Pink said:


> I did it! They turned out terrible in terms of quality photograph but they were good enough to email an illustrated narrative. Damn that was fun! He's traveling this week so I hope he returns the favor with one of his "tales of the horny housewife" stories!
> 
> THANKS!


AP, keep practicing. Think about that. The more you practice, the better the quality gets.... who knows? He may decide to buy a new camera for you to do it... OR, he may set up a photo shoot for ya.


----------



## Anon Pink

These were pretty different, using poses found from google image boudoir pics. These were definitely the best Ive ever produced, but comparing them to the pros...laughable!

Mr. Pink experiences debilitating shame each time he reaches for his wallet!  I've tried to expand his comfort zone over the years and just last month he came home from a business trip with a FIRST EVER in 28 "just because" gift! Progress!


----------



## committed4ever

Maricha75 said:


> c4e, I apologize for making you second guess yourself.
> That certainly was NOT my intention, at all. Do you have any tendencies toward liking the ladies? *Absolutely not.*
> 
> Honestly, that's the only reason I could see for YOUR husband objecting. Mine, however, lol...well, he is one who wouldn't want the chance that the photographers would take an interest lol. He's weird, sometimes. But that's how I know how he would think of it.
> 
> BUT, even knowing things as I have known in the past... i think that may be a subject worth discussing with him just to be certain. But please, c4e, don't let MY husband's feelings on something, nor SB's SO's feelings about it to be the template for YOUR husband. They are three very different individuals, hon.


Yeah, I know I can't go by your H and SB's SO but I don't want another "no more GNO's, just trying to be proactive" scenario if you remember that thread. 

As far as these photographers, I usually have a pretty decent gadar and I was definitely listening for a ping but didn't get one. Maybe if it's there they are good at disguising it for the sake of their business.


----------



## Maricha75

committed4ever said:


> Yeah, I know I can't go by your H and SB's SO but I don't want another "no more GNO's, just trying to be proactive" scenario if you remember that thread.
> 
> As far as these photographers, I usually have a pretty decent gadar and I was definitely listening for a ping but didn't get one. Maybe if it's there they are good at disguising it for the sake of their business.


And if he asks about the photographers, just tell him the truth... it was two women, telling you how to pose for the best look of the photos for him. 

I do remember that thread. I don't see this as the same scenario.


----------



## Anon Pink

ScarletBegonias said:


> YAY!! Way to go!!I bet he gets an instant boner!!


That is what he said happened. However, he failed to prove it with a picture...for complete understanding purposes only mind you, so I shall doubt his word until I SEE the living proof!


----------



## I Notice The Details

"Boner" is a funny word...makes me think of Fast Times At Ridgemount High and movies around that same time.


----------



## Maricha75

I Notice The Details said:


> "Boner" is a funny word...makes me think of Fast Times At Ridgemount High and movies around that same time.


Really? Makes me think of Varsity Blues..... or was that "Pedro"?


----------



## Lonely&frustrated

This being by myself a lot (while hubby has been working overseas) has helped me to really come out of my shell a bit. I'm taking pics/videos for him that I never thought I could do. It took a little practice with where to put camera, tripod woulda been nice lol I just really wish I would've started investigating my body sooner, who knew what I could do to myself


----------



## Anon Pink

Damn! Just missed Mother's Day! A tripod would have been the gift that keeps on giving!


----------



## Anon Pink

I Notice The Details said:


> "Boner" is a funny word...makes me think of Fast Times At Ridgemount High and movies around that same time.


That was an excellent movie! Also Wayne's world... Schwing!


----------



## just got it 55

I bought my sweety a WI VIBE II it's still in the box When would be the best time to give it to her She may freek out


----------



## Anon Pink

just got it 55 said:


> I bought my sweety a WI VIBE II it's still in the box When would be the best time to give it to her She may freek out


Definitely while clothed. Is the the first toy? It does take some getting used to. My H gave me nipple jewelry as the first toy. That was funny cause I had no idea what they were, how to put them on or what the intended effect was supposed to be. Then I got a clit clamp, nothing too strong, and again I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. He wasn't very instructional.

Then he got me a dildo. That I did know what to do with! But was too shy to use it on my own. So he incorporated it into sex. he was going through serious ED at the time so I figured he was trying to meet me needs and yes sir it certainly did. Then he got me a vibrating dildo and that took some getting used to as well.

So, take it slow and gentle. These are toys for sex. Sex is fun. Sex is play for adults. Using toys during sex doesn't mean anything other than expanding sensations. 

I now have quite an array of sex toys and "jewelry" and it's funny as hell when I pack for a weekend away. I need a suitcase just for the toys!


----------



## just got it 55

I picked the WII Vibe II specifically because it is small and less intimidating. We may also use it with PIV, which will be mutually beneficial!!!!! 

When I leave for work in the AM she is still in bed. Sometimes I will just get her started with a little manual stimulation for about 5 minutes to get her started. Then I tell her I will think about her all day finishing off by herself. Then I give her a sweet kiss and say have a nice day sweetie.

We have never spoken about masturbation, I don’t really know if she is into it. I hope she is that’s a hot vision I have of that. Sometimes during sex I will put her hand on her clit and encourage her to continue, she is getting better at it. In the past she would just remove her hand.

Years ago I bought her a playgirl. She still has it must be 20 years old.

So I was thinking get her started in the morning as I would and then giving it to her 

AP

Your thoughts


----------



## Anon Pink

just got it 55 said:


> I picked the WII Vibe II specifically because it is small and less intimidating. We may also use it with PIV, which will be mutually beneficial!!!!!
> 
> When I leave for work in the AM she is still in bed. Sometimes I will just get her started with a little manual stimulation for about 5 minutes to get her started. Then I tell her I will think about her all day finishing off by herself. Then I give her a sweet kiss and say have a nice day sweetie.
> 
> We have never spoken about masturbation, I don’t really know if she is into it. I hope she is that’s a hot vision I have of that. Sometimes during sex I will put her hand on her clit and encourage her to continue, she is getting better at it. In the past she would just remove her hand.
> 
> Years ago I bought her a playgirl. She still has it must be 20 years old.
> 
> So I was thinking get her started in the morning as I would and then giving it to her
> 
> AP
> 
> Your thoughts



AWESOME!!!! I LOVE this idea! Ask her to light a candle or something when you get home so she can signal she used it and liked with out having to come out and say, why yes dear, I played with myself all morning! For some reason that's really hard for women to say :scratchhead:


----------



## I Notice The Details

Anon Pink said:


> AWESOME!!!! I LOVE this idea! Ask her to light a candle or something when you get home so she can signal she used it and liked with out having to come out and say, why yes dear, I played with myself all morning! For some reason that's really hard for women to say :scratchhead:


Great idea Anon Pink....my wife texts me the code word "RED RED" whenever she has used her favorite red vibrator while I am at work. Always nice to get that sexy code word from the Princess when I am having a stressful day. Nice distraction!!!!!


----------



## just got it 55

I Notice The Details said:


> Great idea Anon Pink....my wife texts me the code word "RED RED" whenever she has used her favorite red vibrator while I am at work. Always nice to get that sexy code word from the Princess when I am having a stressful day. Nice distraction!!!!!


Thats awesome you lucky basturd:smthumbup:


----------



## just got it 55

Anon Pink said:


> AWESOME!!!! I LOVE this idea! Ask her to light a candle or something when you get home so she can signal she used it and liked with out having to come out and say, why yes dear, I played with myself all morning! For some reason that's really hard for women to say :scratchhead:


She was raised Baptist but she acts Catholic like I was raised:scratchhead:


----------



## Anon Pink

In my experience, she was raised American! We screw up our daughters sexual health really badly!


----------



## I Notice The Details

just got it 55 said:


> Thats awesome you luck basturd:smthumbup:


Thanks JustGotIt55....now....if she would only use that beautiful red vibrator when I was watching....now THAT would be awesome. Her Catholic upbringing is hard to overcome when it comes to self pleasure.


----------



## just got it 55

Anon Pink said:


> In my experience, she was raised American! We screw up our daughters sexual health really badly!


Sons as well Sister school in the 60's "Girls are good boys are evil"
When I tell my wife she is a bad or naughty girl she gets defensive


----------



## just got it 55

Anon Pink said:


> AWESOME!!!! I LOVE this idea! Ask her to light a candle or something when you get home so she can signal she used it and liked with out having to come out and say, why yes dear, I played with myself all morning! For some reason that's really hard for women to say :scratchhead:


 a gonna du dat
I love the candle thing We keep one in the BR


----------



## just got it 55

I will need to start another thread The Russians are in town and .....

She broke a tooth I think I swore off MB too soon


----------



## Anon Pink

? Start another thread cause I am lost!


----------



## just got it 55

Anon Pink said:


> ? Start another thread cause I am lost!


Start a new thread in the mens clubhouse on premature MB sanctions


----------



## just got it 55

just got it 55 said:


> a gonna du dat
> I love the candle thing We keep one in the BR


It Worked:smthumbup:


----------



## shell10297

I would say it depends on a lot of factors. Religion, upbringing, relationships, emotions, feelings, needs, etc, etc. I would guarantee that women who are single and have needs do masturbate. If they say differently they are not telling the truth!! I speak from experience.........!


----------



## I Notice The Details

Women have all kinds of toys to give pleasure to their bodies...It would be a shame if they didn't at least try them out and enjoy themselves!!!!!!!!


----------



## Honey21

I have never done it and never wanted to experience. It could be different for every one, for me the reason was neither religous nor it had something to do with my up bringing, I just never liked to touch myself anywhere not only on my sensitive areas.


----------



## olwhatsisname

MaritimeGuy said:


> When I was in my teens no guy I knew would have ever admitted to it. It was something you'd accuse others of doing as if it was something only 'losers' do. I'm not sure where all this shame came from but it seems pretty commonplace.


 my soap my water,wash as fast as I wanta. Just sayin. we put this mess of on our kidds. stop it nown. the shame game.


----------



## olwhatsisname

truth. where?? run it upthe flag pole an we will all salute.


----------



## olwhatsisname

NO they wouldn't fib. not ever. or blow smoke up your kazoo. It was on sale,and I couldnt pass it up. and my favorite (YOUR THE ONLY ONE) EVER, RIGHT. HOW MANY ABORTIONS ???EVER>RIGHT.


----------



## olwhatsisname

IF YOU DON'T KNOW,HOW CAN WE FIGURE IT OUT. TRYING SOME ON FOR SIZE,AND FIT,TO SEE IF IT WILL BE COORDINATED. hmmmmm


----------



## Zatol Ugot?

olwhatsisname said:


> my soap my water,wash as fast as I wanta. Just sayin. we put this mess of on our kidds. stop it nown. the shame game.





olwhatsisname said:


> truth. where?? run it upthe flag pole an we will all salute.





olwhatsisname said:


> NO they wouldn't fib. not ever. or blow smoke up your kazoo. It was on sale,and I couldnt pass it up. and my favorite (YOUR THE ONLY ONE) EVER, RIGHT. HOW MANY ABORTIONS ???EVER>RIGHT.





olwhatsisname said:


> IF YOU DON'T KNOW,HOW CAN WE FIGURE IT OUT. TRYING SOME ON FOR SIZE,AND FIT,TO SEE IF IT WILL BE COORDINATED. hmmmmm


Huh?


----------



## olwhatsisname

the insidious programing used by parents is mean . mens lives are shaped & controlled by the older generation that could not teach/share/ anything sexual with their children. I could go on this for an hour, but its your turn.


----------



## Suspecting

I Notice The Details said:


> Women have all kinds of toys to give pleasure to their bodies...It would be a shame if they didn't at least try them out and enjoy themselves!!!!!!!!


Vibe: Tampons For Women from Analeigh Tipton, Alex Richanbach, Funny Or Die, Chris Poole, JasonCarden, and BoTown Sound


----------



## persephone71

Um....I'll answer you, but give me a few minutes....


----------



## committed4ever

Okay this thread has been around forever so I hope some ladies will see my post and reply. I am one of those who never masturbate except maybe once in a dream. I have plenty posts in this thread on the subject. 

So my husband has been gone since last. Monday on a 2.5 week trip -- longest yet since he got this job 6 month ago. I'm pregnant and have been overdrive. I honestly think I am higher than my H who is HD himself. So by last Friday I am climbing the walls for sex quite irritated and everything. So I say what the heck I'm just going to rub one out. So I do. Pretty good O but overall the experience is Meh. I miss my H hands all over my body caressing and kissing after we finish and squeezing and holding me. 

So I say ok the next day I am going to fantasize about my H while I'm doing it and call out his name and all the stuff I'm usually moaning during sex. Again. A good One and the fantasize help but then after the O - Meh. But only this time I long for my H so much it was actually worse than the last time. So just a sense of profound loneliness where at first it was just horny. 

How please tell me ladies do you get any satisfaction from it? I really would like some insight. Thanks.


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## Thunder7

committed4ever said:


> Okay this thread has been around forever so I hope some ladies will see my post and reply. I am one of those who never masturbate except maybe once in a dream. I have plenty posts in this thread on the subject.
> 
> So my husband has been gone since last. Monday on a 2.5 week trip -- longest yet since he got this job 6 month ago. I'm pregnant and have been overdrive. I honestly think I am higher than my H who is HD himself. So by last Friday I am climbing the walls for sex quite irritated and everything. So I say what the heck I'm just going to rub one out. So I do. Pretty good O but overall the experience is Meh. I miss my H hands all over my body caressing and kissing after we finish and squeezing and holding me.
> 
> So I say ok the next day I am going to fantasize about my H while I'm doing it and call out his name and all the stuff I'm usually moaning during sex. Again. A good One and the fantasize help but then after the O - Meh. But only this time I long for my H so much it was actually worse than the last time. So just a sense of profound loneliness where at first it was just horny.
> 
> How please tell me ladies do you get any satisfaction from it? I really would like some insight. Thanks.


While I am not one of the ladies, I do have a suggestion. What if the next time you 'rub one out' you do so for your H with him on the phone. It should increase the connection you yearn to feel with him. And, I'm sure he would enjoy the hell out of it. Just a thought.


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## committed4ever

Thunder thanks for your reply. I could see if I could pull that off but don't know because he so not a phone person. He rarely call mostly text when he is away even though I have practically begged him to. But that's a whole other story. 

I guess I just waiting until he is home. Anyway it will be good practice for that 6 week wait after our baby girl is born.


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## TCSRedhead

committed4ever said:


> Thunder thanks for your reply. I could see if I could pull that off but don't know because he so not a phone person. He rarely call mostly text when he is away even though I have practically begged him to. But that's a whole other story.
> 
> I guess I just waiting until he is home. Anyway it will be good practice for that 6 week wait after our baby girl is born.


I can only speak for me, but masturbation is like a smaller release. It's never as satisfying as sex with Hub. If we are apart, it helps relieve sexual tension but my preference is with him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CharlieParker

committed4ever said:


> Thunder thanks for your reply. I could see if I could pull that off but don't know because he so not a phone person. He rarely call mostly text when he is away even though I have practically begged him to. But that's a whole other story.


Video chat?


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## Woodchuck

Married for 47 years and only recently asked the wife about her masturbation before we me....She said she started early in puberty and enjoyed it a great deal and often....

When we started having sex, after turning me down for months she was EXTREMELY orgasmic, having wonderful PIV orgasms from the first time....I was on cloud 9.......

Her reaction, the first time she had an "O" with a sexual partner was a mind movie I still love to play.....Moaning, writhing, dozens of "I love you's" it was a sight to see.....

the woodchuck


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## olwhatsisname

ScarletBegonias said:


> It depresses me to think of never masturbating.
> I use it as a tool for teasing SO.He'd walk in and "catch me" in the act then I'd get to watch him beat it while I'm still taking care of myself.Then when we can't take just watching anymore,we'll start pleasuring each other.


 the language we use is so adaptable.. why arn't we ???


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## Suspecting

I read a recent study where it claimed people who have regular sex/orgasms will have better less wrinkly skin. It had something to do with the chemicals and hormones released when climaxing. It also reduces stress which in turn will keep you overall more healthy. So I'd say masturbating often is a healthy habit.


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