# can we talk hygiene?



## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

I have a question for the guys and gals out there. When reading these threads, a lot of the guys are complaining about not getting any, and that is understandable, having a pretty high sex-drive myself. BUT, my SO has a habit of not being so clean and i just can't get turned on. He takes a shower daily, but he works construction and he drinks a 12 pk when he gets home, and refuses to take a shower, whatever. But here is the kicker, we will be laying in bed and he wants to fool around, and when he is touching me i notice his hands are nasty dirty, i'm talking black! My question is...is it wrong for me to feel repulsed and ask him to wash his hands! For crying out loud i don't think i'm being unreasonable. He cops an attitude, and if he's wanting it bad enough, he will go wash up, but sometimes he just turns over, and passes out. 
I have been the one throughout our relationship with the higher sex-drive, but he tells his friends that he don't "get it" because she thinks i'm dirty. 
Yes, the sex has slowed because i find it gross, so i just take care of myself. :scratchhead:

But, maybe my guy is the only one out there who is lazy in this dept., but maybe there is a cleanliness issue as to why some of these women aren't giving it to their man! 
any input would be great!
Thanks- stumble


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

I wouldn't have sex with a dirty woman. I mean we are touching as well as exchanging bodily fluids  I'm probably not the best person to ask, as a kid I would take 2-3 showers during the day during the summer when we'd play all day. You say he takes a shower daily. Is it just in the morning? Maybe initiate things at that time.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

don't shower for a week and see how he responds, maybe he was a cave man in another life.


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

There is nothing wrong with asking him to clean up! Maybe just ask him to do it before he is in bed or move things into the bathroom/shower at night so he cleans up that way??


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

I wouldn't want to be touching someone that had dirty hands, etc like you described. Maybe be humorous about it when he puts the moves on you.. get the point across that a shower is required before you'll have anything to do with sex, but at the same time make it funny so that he doesn't get all offended about it.


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## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

I don't blame you at all. My wife is the type of person that goes a few days without a shower and actually doesn't brush her teeth. It can be a huge turn off when i roll over and smell BO and also her breathe stinks. I would just straight out tell him its a huge turn off and if he wants more sex with you, he needs to change that. I have been telling my wife it but she refuses to go through with it and says she is just too tired.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

That would be funny if it probably wasn't true 'Lost'..but maybe she was a cave woman in another life


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## housefullofmen (Jul 9, 2010)

Maybe you should remind him that all kinds of bacteria live on those dirty hands!! My H and I wash our hands and "areas" before(and after) sex, everytime! Unless we just got out of the shower. Nothing like a raging infection to turn off the sex life for a week or two!!


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Man! I thought i was just being a biotch, like I'm some prude for asking him to be clean! Thank you all for justifying my feelings. I have asked him to shower at night, he responds w/ he took one in the morn, or he's too tired. What it actually is, he drinks a lot-and he's too drunk to take a shower in eve. I have tried to respond to this w/ humor, but he still thinks I'm just being prissy.

To 'lost': thank you for sharing your story, glad i'm not the only one! My man doesn't brush his teeth either, and he drinks & smokes, blah, so let's just say it has been a really long time since i've been kissed!

Truthfully, I don't really think he's all that into sex, so this gives him a perfect excuse to not do it and then place the blame on me for being a priss. As i've mentioned, he drinks, so the sex aint terrific anyway.


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## Sixgunner (Mar 5, 2008)

You need to tell homie that going to bed with dirty hands and a case of swamp @$$ is not kool. He needs to bath at least twice a day.


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## Robrobb (Jun 18, 2010)

Another suggestion:

If he asks for sex, roll out of bed and tell him that YOU need to shower first. On the way out of the bedroom, look back and ask "will you give me a hand?". I don't know a man alive that wouldn't share a shower with his wife when invited. While you're in there, use that as your safe place to remind him that being clean before intimacy is a big deal for you. He'll get the picture without being offended.


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## hurtbyher (Nov 19, 2009)

I always take a shower before bed. I don't want to take one at 4:30 am. My wife likes the afternoon sex when I get home from work I do too but sometimes I dont feel to attractive. That Is why I like it at bedtime also we can snuggle afterward and fall asleep. I dont like the afternoons as much because of the sex and then on with the day. It doesn't feel as intamate, kind of just sex and not lovemaking.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Robrobb said:


> Another suggestion:
> I don't know a man alive that wouldn't share a shower with his wife when invited.


lol, not me! My wife showers with water hot enough to boil food in. I seriously think she has no pain sensors on her skin. 

On a serious note though, Robrobb has a good point, try that tactic and see where it gets you.


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## Needy_Wife (Mar 10, 2010)

Crypsys said:


> lol, not me! My wife showers with water hot enough to boil food in. I seriously think she has no pain sensors on her skin.
> 
> On a serious note though, Robrobb has a good point, try that tactic and see where it gets you.


LOL, thats what my husband says about my showers. 

Ok, I can totally relate to this. I reallllllllllllllllly hate to admit this to anyone, but it is what it is....

As of today...my husband hasn't showered since Saturday. Who knows how many more days he will go before he does shower??? I can NOT bring myself to be anywhere near him at night anymore. I can smell him, and I think that is the WORST turn off EVER. I am a woman that LOVES to give my man a blow job...I would do this every night even. He complains that he doesn't ever get a BJ to his friends. Hmmmm...maybe if you washed your stinky balls...you would get some? Just a thought. 

As far as hands go...yes, you have the right to tell him to clean up before. You don't need whatever is manifesting on his hands inside of you. 
Say something, and tell him he would be more than satisfied if he complies.


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## LostandNervous (Jul 13, 2010)

Needy_Wife said:


> LOL, thats what my husband says about my showers.
> 
> Ok, I can totally relate to this. I reallllllllllllllllly hate to admit this to anyone, but it is what it is....
> 
> ...


..where have u been all my life?? haha jk. But seriously, i take one everynight before bed and hate going without!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Needy_Wife said:


> As of today...my husband hasn't showered since Saturday. Who knows how many more days he will go before he does shower???












OMG! Follow him around the house spraying everything he touches until he takes a shower.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

My wife used to fart under the covers, just before I'd pull them off, I think she was trying to scare me off:scratchhead:, but it never worked


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

:rofl: OMG! These posts are cracking me up!!!! YES please wash those balls! I'm more than willing to do whatever, but my gosh, being a stinky butt is just a total turn off! I have tried to get him to shwer w/ me but HE SAYS IT'S TOO HOT (do men have the skin of a baby or what?) So, i turn it colder, but he just doesn't like to shower in the eve, so it doesn't happen often even when i ask, he usually refuses me. I myself actually take a shower in morn and then again after work, after i work out, but i've only been successful at getting him to join me a handful of times, so i guess there are men out there who just don't care about showering w/their woman!


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## paperbackslave (Jul 15, 2010)

Hubby and I have taken showers together most every night for 15 years. I find myself on the other end of the spectrum at times ...... hmm, we are all clean, I dont want to get all sweaty and *slimy* now...ewww. And you know how sex *smells* later, lol.

On the one hand, I figure if we see each other nekkid in the shower every day, maybe we wont notice the wrinkles/sag/cellulite so much. On the other hand, maybe we are so clean, we have washed away all the pheromones??? Maybe we could use a little 'caveman mentality' sometimes.

I always laugh at those steamy sex scenes where they are all sweaty/dirty or on the beach, and I think about things like the sand in thier drawers or the grease on the mechanics nails. Ha!


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

2Daughters said:


> My wife used to fart under the covers, just before I'd pull them off, I think she was trying to scare me off:scratchhead:, but it never worked


:lol::rofl:

lol, my wife gave me the dutch oven treatment a few nights ago. You've never smelled raunch until you smell pregnant women farts. I swear to God she's rotten inside. Such a big smell out of such a little package!!


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

:rofl::iagree:


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> I have a question for the guys and gals out there. When reading these threads, a lot of the guys are complaining about not getting any, and that is understandable, having a pretty high sex-drive myself. BUT, my SO has a habit of not being so clean and i just can't get turned on. He takes a shower daily, but he works construction and he drinks a 12 pk when he gets home, and refuses to take a shower, whatever.


Have a beer for him IN the bathroom as he is walking in the door. After a 12 pack he is, if not hammered, impaired in the motivation department.


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## Robrobb (Jun 18, 2010)

Crypsys said:


> :lol::rofl:
> 
> lol, my wife gave me the dutch oven treatment a few nights ago. You've never smelled raunch until you smell pregnant women farts. I swear to God she's rotten inside. Such a big smell out of such a little package!!


Pregnant too? That explains the super hot showers. My wife is the same way, but during pregnancy she turned it up further - I even adjusted the water heater to accomodate. Let her have the first position, the backscatter will be a few degrees cooler.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

loool @ this thread 

I had another idea though. Maybe you could tell your hubby that if he wants a BJ, he can have one in the morning after his shower. Other times (ie showerless) are off limits. Something like that  He always has the option to have a shower at night, if he wants the BJ at night...... (hint hint) lol


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## Sixgunner (Mar 5, 2008)

LostandNervous said:


> I don't blame you at all. My wife is the type of person that goes a few days without a shower and actually doesn't brush her teeth. It can be a huge turn off when i roll over and smell BO and also her breathe stinks. I would just straight out tell him its a huge turn off and if he wants more sex with you, he needs to change that. I have been telling my wife it but she refuses to go through with it and says she is just too tired.


I bet after a few days that beaver is like a rabid wolverine. 

I've always wondered how people can be so nasty.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Agree with the double showering thing. . .I would love to have in my next house a double shower. . .I agree. . .most men would love to be invited into the shower with their wife.

I swear. . .when I get washed down there you could hypnotize me to walk off of the Grand Canyon precipice.

You could lead me around the house that way.


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Sixgunner said:


> I bet after a few days that beaver is like a rabid wolverine.


:smthumbup::rofl::smthumbup:


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## Robrobb (Jun 18, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> I swear. . .when I get washed down there you could hypnotize me to walk off of the Grand Canyon precipice.
> 
> You could lead me around the house that way.


Yeh, she used to joke about that.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

I thought rabid wolverine was pretty funny


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## fairy godmother (Jun 10, 2010)

My DH and I take showers together almost daily....is this something you could suggest? It's sensual and maybe you could help rub gel all over his body...there starts the foreplay. Just a suggestion. Oh, and I wouldn't want to be touched with really dirty hands either.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

I agree, nothing like 'bad breath' or a 'rabid wolverine' to bring on a case of 'Limpitis'!!!!:sleeping:


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

I had a similar problem with my husband too. I even had a thread about it but deleted it...too embarrassing I guess. He wouldn't shower for days, not even change his boxers yuck. He wouldn't brush his teeth before bed and it turned me off big time. I didn't want to hug or kiss him. I talked about it with him too and he ignored me completely, I even joked sometimes or threw hints, would say stuff like "I can still smell the cigarette smoke" which wasn't true, but at least THAT made him brush every once in a while. I hate sloppy people, can't tolerate it. 

He would put cologne before he held the baby or going out with the guys to smoke and play cards (as if you can smell someone's cologne in that smoke) but he wouldn't do it to please me. Even telling him how his sexy cologne turned me on didn't do any good.

Why do some people not give a damn about their spouse??


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> I have a question for the guys and gals out there. When reading these threads, a lot of the guys are complaining about not getting any, and that is understandable, having a pretty high sex-drive myself. BUT, my SO has a habit of not being so clean and i just can't get turned on. He takes a shower daily, but he works construction and he drinks a 12 pk when he gets home, and refuses to take a shower, whatever. But here is the kicker, we will be laying in bed and he wants to fool around, and when he is touching me i notice his hands are nasty dirty, i'm talking black! My question is...is it wrong for me to feel repulsed and ask him to wash his hands! For crying out loud i don't think i'm being unreasonable. He cops an attitude, and if he's wanting it bad enough, he will go wash up, but sometimes he just turns over, and passes out.
> I have been the one throughout our relationship with the higher sex-drive, but he tells his friends that he don't "get it" because she thinks i'm dirty.
> Yes, the sex has slowed because i find it gross, so i just take care of myself. :scratchhead:
> 
> ...


WOW

I can't even remotely fathom that!! Be upfront end of story!! I'm cleaner than my wife and my wife says I have more of a regimen then she does. Considering I look 5 course sex "as she puts it" with all the foreplay and goodies I feel like all of me has to spotless. I'm a very showered person!!

Good luck!! I'm a guy and know how great I smell and feel after cutting the grass for two hours let alone working a 8-10hrs then drinking...............geesh.........is all I can say.

I wish I could be so oblivious.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

I still can't believe there are married people who DON'T shower nor brush daily!!!!!...that itself is grounds for a divorce!!!!


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

2Daughters said:


> I still can't believe there are married people who DON'T shower nor brush daily!!!!!...that itself is grounds for a divorce!!!!


Tell me about it


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

Hi cherriepie18, I was embarrassed to post this hygiene problem of my H's too, but i just had to know if there was anyone out there who had this prob w/ their SO! I was actually surprised by the men complaining about their wives being dirty!!! I thought it was a man thing  I do think it is dis-respectful to the other person when a spouse is ignoring requests to be clean! I mean it sounds simple enough, but w/ all the other relationship probs, this just adds to the tension when you are trying to 'save' your relationship!This cleanliness thing just could be the thing that tips the scale to divorce when you weigh in any other probs that may be occurring.
-stumble


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## mecoa (Apr 7, 2009)

Does anyone think the alcohol may be the major problem??? Was he clean when you were dating? Did he always drink so much and so often? Just sounds like an alcoholic to me...


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

finally got around to reading this thread... HFS! I cant believe a guy would get in bed w/ actual visible dirt on his hands and then try to get sum, but I REALLY cant believe some women go for days w/ out a shower, must be like a dead salmon down there

seriously, I love dirt and the outdoors. I can handle fish, swim in dirty ponds, wade through swamps, etc. but when im in the house i gotta be clean! first thing I do when i get home is wash my hands and I dont get into bed, nor would my wife let me w/out taking a shower , you might as well sleep on the ground or in a barn otherwise, and for gods sake brush AND floss! you know what rotten meat smells like after its been stuck in your 98degree gums for a week? go floss and smell the strand, thats what your breath smells like!

Now for women, I know ill get some" youre a weirdo" comments but I actually like the smell and taste, of a woman after thevye worked a hard day at the office not rotten, just sorta like almost expired sour cream, Yummy

hope that wasnt too vulgar.:scratchhead:


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## SarahMarshall (Aug 14, 2010)

My husband works in oil/natural gas. I honestly can't even tell when he's washed his hands and when he hasn't anymore. Thankfully, he just showers when he gets home no matter what. But his hands look semi-permanently dirty.


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

ok. you ready? 
on more than one occasion, I have walked into the bathroom, washed my face, and dried it on a towel my (soon to be ex)husband just used to dry off after a shower. And right there in the part where I was drying my face, I find a s*** stain. Now, if you just showered, and you dry off on a clean towel, and you leave a s- stain on the towel...
I dont want to blow you. Sorry.

And yes, he is an alcoholic. Your guy, and mine. Mine is "recovering." But while he was drinking, he did the same thing. came to bed smelling like a skid row bum. Too tired (read: drunk) to get anything ten-hut. Paw me a little bit, get pissed when I didn't want to do anything. At first, I would try, but I soon found that nothing I did was having any... effect. And the drinking just got worse and worse. He will deny it, get really defensive if you ask him about it--you watch. But you are dead on...he is using your lack of interest due to hygiene to mask the fact that he can't perform because of alcohol. 12 beers a night is too much. By a lot. You need to get with an Al-anon group to support you and learn more about alcoholism. Or, re-evaluate whether you want to be with him. You call him Significant Other. Don't marry him unless this gets resolved.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> I have walked into the bathroom, washed my face, and dried it on a towel my (soon to be ex)husband just used to dry off after a shower. And right there in the part where I was drying my face, I find a s*** stain.


 LMFAO!!!!!

just curious though, did you ever figure out why he still had dirt in his crack after taking a shower?:scratchhead:


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

HELLO! 
because he wasn't thorough enough????!!!!


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

yeah, he also changed to dark colored underwear when I asked him why his tighty whiteys always had a mile long skid mark in them. I think he was trying to save on toilet paper.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> HELLO!
> because he wasn't thorough enough????!!!!


 damn! soap and water run downward dont it? gravity alone shoulda took care of most of it. musta been a mess in there, sorry you got ****faced ! J/K!!!


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

me too. 
Of course, when we were dating, he was clean as a whistle. Like the Irish Spring guy. Its the booze, man.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

do you use the same bar of soap as him?

my wife and I dont even use the same bathroom ,i have too much body hair to shave, its all over the place, even grosses me out. oh and I wash my own undies


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

not anymore. Or bed, or house. He can **** on his pillow if he wants to.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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