# What Do I Do?



## JeffX (Oct 13, 2010)

So I went through my wife's sent email. I don't know why. She's been sending messages to her exs. One had a picture of her ass with panties that said "Just kiss me". That was her message to the guy. She had four guys that she was emailing. Only one had responses to her and that was the one that she was talking to me and her having sex. Then she sent him the picture. Then something about him missing her tits. I have no clue who that guy was. 

One of the guys she was emailing was just a few weeks ago. IT was some guy who was trying to talk her out of marrying me. We had issues about him once before. He randomly showed up on her facebook friend list. She said she was going to delete him and then she didn't. She just told me a few weeks ago that she hadn't talked to him. But she has sent him an email and she sent him our address. 

I know it was wrong to look into her email. I shouldn't have done it. I mean we haven't been having sex lately. I wasn't sure if something was going on. What do I do?


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

It was wrong to go through here email ? Um ok but don't ya think it was 
wrong for her to show herself to other dudes? Find out who all the guys 
are and expose to their wives if they are married. And the guy who was 
was on her Facebook friends list who tried talking her outta marrying you.
I had the same problem with my wife . Told her if she wanted to be friends 
with him on Facebook that's fine . But unfriend him and you can re friend 
him once our divorce is final. Then sent him a couple of text that were not
very nice . Wife or me haven't heard from him since.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

First off do your research and find out more about this guys before you confront....and never reveal your source, as far as your wife is concerned you hired a PI and know alot more then she thinks.

Second when you do confront never cry or beg for the marriage ...chicks dig confident men and right now your attraction level is alot low then these other guys so don;t lower it any more by crying and begging.

Once established a solid intel and you can confront with the up most confidence she won;t be able to bull sh!t you into think it not what you think....hence the research you still have to do.

Often the big est mistakes we make are confronting to soon with out the intel and getting gaslighted into believing it was all a joke.

Second we make the mistake of revealing our sources and that remove all ability in confirming what she tells you versus what she really is doing behind your back.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Did I read that right ? She was talking to him about you and her having sex?
And sent him a pic ? You know what you need to do! But your afraid to do it.
I was in the same sitch two years ago. Don't worry about upsetting her by 
going through email or cell phone or Facebook . Do what needs to be done
for you find the answers
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you confront now there is a possibility that she takes this deeper underground....you need more intel, so when you do confront you still have the resources to prevent from getting deceived again.

Its hard and its a emotional cluster phuck but confronting to soon will only leave you in the dark......The covert tactic I mention is for you to be one step a head of your wayward wife.

You owe it to your self to not be deceived, and just like any investment you need to investigate so you stop getting ripped off of continue to get ripped off.

And yes your old lady is emotionally ripping you off!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I can a sure you Jeff, that when it comes to infidelity its like an iceberg...there is always more under the surface that we betrayed husband want to believe.

But it is a fact that until you investigate for your self you will not get the full picture in who you are *now* married to.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I suggest you plant a VAR (voice activated recorder under her car seat with some velcrow tape. I also recomment your track her using a GPS or find a phone app.

Its sucks we have to do this sh1t but when are chicks start hiding crap we have no other choice but to defend our selves form continued deceit.

What other red flags do you have?

How guarded is she about her cell phone?

how often does she go out with the girls for a night out?

Is she coming home late from work?

Does she go shopping and come home with out any shopping bags.

Again this could be more then just a few flirty text to a handful of guys.

She may even have a toxic friend that she goes out with that is bringing a certain betryal far from what you could ever imagine.


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## JeffX (Oct 13, 2010)

There was an incident right after we got married where she gave a guy her number at the bar. I won't go over the specifics, but we worked past it. 

For awhile she was staying up late at night and was on her computer. Sometimes she would be in the same room and sometimes she would leave the room. She rarely ever uses her phone. It's been dead for a few days. 

She doesn't go out so I doubt anything is there.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Don't apologize about checking her email.Tell her to stop every contact with all those guys.Ask for all passwords Phone/FB/email.Be strong and don't buy into any "I need privacy" type of excuses.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Well it sounds like she has attention issues and validation issues. 

BTW you guys swept the 1st experience under the rug and as you can see your wife has not worked thru affair proofing her marriage and the lack of boundaries is incredible.

One would think the first go around would have established some degree of boundries...but apparently not.

Sorry my man your old lady still has issues and its just a matter of time before she replaces you altogether.

Investigate and see what you are really working with, so get a key logger on that computer ASAP!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

In my case my old lady got her attention and validation the old fashio way, she went to bars and got hit on...its just a matter of time before the right guy comes around and sweeps your chick off her feet.

See sex is the currentcy for all this crap...if our chick wants the "friendship" and the attention from the right guy she will pay her due...mine did.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Get that key logger...and do it now!!!!!!!!!!


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Listen to the guy he knows his shtt and read some threads on here as well
You will find when wives are friends with ex bf it rarely is a good idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

NewM said:


> Don't apologize about checking her email.Tell her to stop every contact with all those guys.Ask for all passwords Phone/FB/email.Be strong and don't buy into any "I need privacy" type of excuses.


Classic tactic in the wayward spouse hand book "I need privacy" = shut the phuck up and quit giving me a hard time picking up other guys.........

My favorite quote from Mrs. the-guy is "trust me, I would never do that to you":rofl:

So far brother your chick hasn't done a damn thing to give her any kind of degree of trust!!!!!

Again investigate, you can't confront something when you have no idea in what you are confronting...or who you are confronting!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

JeffX said:


> There was an incident right after we got married where she gave a guy her number at the bar. I won't go over the specifics, but we worked past it.
> 
> For awhile she was staying up late at night and was on her computer. Sometimes she would be in the same room and sometimes she would leave the room. She rarely ever uses her phone. It's been dead for a few days.
> 
> She doesn't go out so I doubt anything is there.


Come on Jeff, right after you get married she is handing out her number......If you want another guy to have her number then she should be going to you for permission and you could have given the guy your number...if thats how you guys roll...

There is a huge degree of disrespect and deceit going on here for some time it time you chick figure it out and learn the tools to affair proof her marriage.

So when is she going to make an appointment to learn the tool to address her issue???? once you can show her that she has a real problem by investigating and validating the problem at hand!!!!

BTW, I have a hard time believing you can account for your old ladys were about all day everyday!!!!


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

> She doesn't go out so I doubt anything is there.


The only thing you should doubt is that you don't know the full truth about your wife's activities with other men. You already said she has a past of messing around with other men, and that lead you to look at her email in the first place.

Her track record is not trustworthy. Don't leave anything out of chance. She doesn't go out but you know she has given the OM the house address. So Who, What, When and Where can that lead too????


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

And when wives go to bars ... Well that's about as good as ex boyfriend
Being one of her "friends "
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brightlight (Feb 18, 2013)

Put your detective hat on Jeff!


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Jeff look up the phone number on spokeo. I have an account and can help if you don't have one. 

I agree with Guy. Don't reveal anything until you have more info. You should put a voice activated recorder in your car and keylog the computer for more info.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

How would your wife feel if the roles were reversed? She is acting like a single woman. What is it with this guy who says he misses her tits? The implication is that he has been with her. Get tested for STD's. I am sorry but based on your post your wife is certainly not marriage material. Good luck.


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## Lost at sea (Mar 16, 2013)

To heck with her privacy! She is not doing what a married woman should. I am a philanderer, i know one when i see one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Jeff I have read so many horror stories in this forum. This is going not to end well. Act as soon as you have concrete info. But your gut told you be look somewhere, you just started in the most logical place .Be strong weakness is a killer Put it right on the line.
A common praise is you must be willing to lose your marriage to save it. You must have the courage to do that. I can tell you from personal experience if you enable her to continue, you display weakness of the most egregious kind.
You will be replaced without question. If there are no children then just a minor broken heart which will soon heal when you realize she was not the one after all. Move on if she does not come clean about everything from the beginning


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

You say your wife doesn't go out. 

And you say your wife emailed the one guy her address. 

I'm guessing that you DO go out. 

Are you starting to see the same picture I'm seeing?

Buy a couple of voice-activated recorders and small cameras and set them up in the house where your wife would entertain company when you're not home; also where she uses the computer; and where she would talk on the land line when you're not home.

I'm guessing within a week you will catch her camming with one of the guys; hopefully nothing more than that (yet).


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## Yessongs72 (Dec 6, 2012)

bryanp said:


> She is acting like a single woman. What is it with this guy who says he misses her tits? The implication is that he has been with her.Good luck.


No - SHE says 'he misses her tits', he is an ex after all. she's fishing. Still a no-good skank.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

DO NOT CONFRONT WITHOUT PROOF. Then decide if you want to keep her.

Look at poor RDMU. Hes had near a MONTH of hell and it started with a suspicious lunch! She took it underground and his lawyer still doesnt think he has enough though near everyone here is 100% sure.


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