# Nearest Human Syndrome. Or why it's always your fault



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Some people always need someone to blame when something goes wrong.

They know they can't be responsible, so they look round for someone else to blame. The Nearest Human. Which is you!

I call it NHS or Nearest Human Syndrome.

Anyone else notice this?


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## WaitForIt... (Jan 20, 2013)

Genius!

I hope you win a Nobel for this. 

Know it? I live with it every single day and have for about 24 years.

You just put a name to one of my greatest sufferings in life. Thank you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Some people always need someone to blame when something goes wrong.
> 
> They know they can't be responsible, so they look round for someone else to blame. The Nearest Human. Which is you!
> 
> ...


" Nearest Human Syndrome."

Lol, I like your terminology.

Basically, selfish people engage in this type of behaviour. They do it because they benefit form it , most times psychologically , but not exclusive to that. They will continue to engage in those actions as long as their warped needs for validation are being met.
But realize that most of the times, the person is too busy wrapping themselves in a cloak of self righteous behavior to see their actions in this context.

The problem with this sort of behaviour is that it dull ones sense of empathy. It clears the way and allows the person to act in a hurtful way towards others. Ordinarily, humans have inhibitions that buffer against what we know is bad behavior. Blame others is not the hurtful act itself, but it erodes and removes these inhibitions . It develops a thought pattern that allows the person's emotions to override his/her empathy and self-control in order to achieve an often selfish end , including sustaining the dysfunctional pattern.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

It's a very common syndrome with people who can not grasp or accept that the world that we live in is far more chaotic and unorganized than we care to admit or accept it to be. 

If you see life and reality as it is there are a huge amount of variables that have a zero fault (or at least zero human fault) index to them. 
That is to say sometimes the bee just stings you because it felt like it and the beekeeper had nothing to do with it. 

Then on the other side of this when something good unexpectedly happens to you do you blame or thank the nearest random person for it or do you simply just call it good luck on your part? :scratchhead: 

You could thank your favorite religious deity for it but to be honest when the not good things happen they too should hold just as much accountability as well but that rarely happens because blaming a deity doesn't give you the personal satisfaction of getting someone else to pay up for whatever happened. Religious deities are notoriously well known for never making apologies let alone amends for the bad stuff they do.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Actually, it can be a sign of damaged thinking.

My mom's dog did this. He was a rescue dog. One day he and I were the only ones awake.

He was about six feet away from me and accidentally banged his head on the door.

He looked at me, convinced I had hit him. Why? NHS.


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## Tomson (Mar 10, 2014)

"Then on the other side of this when something good unexpectedly happens to you do you blame or thank the nearest random person for it or do you simply just call it good luck on your part?"

I think this is a type of Fatalism which denies any idea of free will. I believe that most people, even those who espouse Determinism allow for limited amount of free will. Otherwise, how can you lock me up if I shoot you - we were both just victims and pawns in the universe. 

To put it a better way:

_My father is a bastard,
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
My grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! _


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

I for one believe in free will but the down side is I have to accept that when things, anything, happen there is just as much random probability that it would have or would not have happened. 

I know it's been argued that we are all in a fixed state of action predetermined by the laws of physics but in a way the laws of physics have their own loopholes allowing for random probability to sway the actions or reactions of events. 

Take basic quantum mechanics for example. It governs every action we see in our perceived macro scale reality yet at the quantum scale there are very few true 100% 'yes' or 'no' 'on' or 'off' states. There are however a huge amount of "well sort of maybe sometimes depends on how you looked at it' ones which are highly random at the basic level.

So for those who have yet to fconnect how that affects things consider that presently on the nanoscale of electronics quantum interference becomes an issue when dealing with digital systems which work on a well defined rules of 'yes' or 'no' 'on' or 'off' because that randomizing interference can make things happen that were not supposed to like creating a false on or off action in a single transistor which ultimately cascades to the output we see on our screen. 

Now how that relates to us humans is that in fact our brains work on similar nano scale biochemical and bio electrical impulses in neurons that in their own analog ways can and do get influenced at the quantum scale. 

Biochemistry may have made your brain function in a specific way but at some point one or more neurons were in a flux state that ultimately got determined by a quantum scale influence that changed the outgoing neurons firing from being a yes to a no that cascaded through your whole brain leading to your having done something you wouldn't have done if that single quantum scale interference incident had happened the other way allowing for you to do something that all the combined laws of physics suggest you should not have reacted to in that way. 

Or did I just argue a way that nullifies free will? :scratchhead:


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I grew up in a family like this: my sister is the one who is most afflicted.

Somehow, I managed to overcome the NHS...she never has.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Some people always need someone to blame when something goes wrong.
> 
> They know they can't be responsible, so they look round for someone else to blame. The Nearest Human. Which is you!
> 
> ...


Dammit Mattmatt!!

You made me laugh and knock my coffee over!


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

NHS -brilliant!


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## Pixi (Mar 7, 2014)

It pains me to admit that I am guilty of this.

I called it "proximity". AKA... you are absorbing this tantrum just based on your proximity to me. However, NHS can settle right in beside my PMS and maybe they can have some troubled codependent relationship or something.

I always apologize, but it is an unfortunate side effect of my being stretched WAY WAY WAY too thin.

Somehow, after a day of a suck ass job that makes me want to scream into my telephone and then getting to rush home to be nagged what is for supper before the front door closes behind me and then worrying about the bills and who needs what care when... I do just "lose it" when I find myself picking up the 53rd sock this week that is on the floor RIGHT BESIDE the hamper.:lol:


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I've seen this sort of behaviour all too often and refuse to be scapegoated by those who lack the integrity to own their own 'stuff.' 

People suffering from NHS (love the term, MM!) are pretty adept at sussing out those who are likely to 'carry the can' for them and, rather than enabling them, we need to refuse to play their blame game.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

This thread is gold.

All the time and with a lot of people. So much so that I believe it's a completely normal/natrual human emotion. And now you just discovered why I keep distance from most people.....:scratchhead:

I'm also a victim of NHS throughout my entire work life.....some people are just god damn NHS addicts (especially client side).....god I think I might have trauma now that I read this thread. 

Do you have therapy services ready as well OP???

I have to admit that I'm also guilty today. Unclogging a sink drain with my sons help (well more of an know how), regardless......anger kicked in at times and he was on the radar once or twice (but not too bad, I promise)....he ducked and kept it cool, which made me cool off........proud of him now that I think about it. 

God damn NHS

PS. I love this thread!!!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> *I've seen this sort of behaviour all too often and refuse to be scapegoated by those who lack the integrity to own their own 'stuff.' *
> 
> People suffering from NHS (love the term, MM!) are pretty adept at sussing out those who are likely to 'carry the can' for them and, rather than enabling them, we need to refuse to play their blame game.


:iagree:

And they tend to get mad at you when you stand up for yourself.
They will try to make you feel as though you're the worst person on the planet , tell you how you're cold ,heartless , blah , blah , blah, just because you refused to take responsibility for _their_ actions.

Funny thing is , whenever they're being praised for something they got right , they never mention you , they accept all the credit for themselves.

I just outright ignore people like that , I avoid them like the plague.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Everyone else around me has it, but never me.

I blame my parents.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Mr The Other said:


> Everyone else around me has it, but never me.
> 
> I blame my parents.


Oh, for sure! If all else fails, blame our parents - _particularly _mothers. From the day a mother gives birth she's a willing scapegoat, and if we mess up she's always a good target. Most of us were potty trained too soon / too late. This is always a good one to go with


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> And they tend to get mad at you when you stand up for yourself.
> They will try to make you feel as though you're the worst person on the planet , tell you how you're cold ,heartless , blah , blah , blah, just because you refused to take responsibility for their actions.
> 
> Funny thing is , whenever they're being praised for something they got right , they never mention you , they accept all the credit for themselves.


I deal with that with my wife multiple times a week. I am the person closest to her so I catch hell for everything I either did wrong by her judgement or didn't at all. No win. No matter what I do I either did it too late or I did it wrong.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

mom has it.mil has it.fil has it.

I sometimes have it when I think about my mother and talk about her.Then I realize I'm an adult and am more than capable of overcoming her influence.


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