# Wife is constantly angry



## rockstar861 (Dec 17, 2011)

I am recently married, and my wife and I have a 1 year old daughter together. We were together roughly 5 years prior to getting married, and everything was going really well. We were both happy with each other, had a great sex life, etc. She would do the majority of cooking, cleaning, etc. But since the birth of our daughter, and getting married, everything has been all downhill from there. She is constantly mad and yelling. Now, she never seems to be happy with anything. I now do the majority of the housework, and she seems to have little motivation. Another issue is that now, nothing ever is good enough for her, and that she feels "entitled" to more. Our sex life has also become almost non existent. Anytime I try to make a move on her, I get told to leave her alone. There are many times I struggle just to get her to kiss me. The biggest change that I have noticed is that our daughter has become more important to her, that our relationship. My patience is running out, and I am unsure of how to approach this situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Sounds like a wake up is needed here. Stop doing all the work allow things to rebalance.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Raising children is exhausting and challenging, especially those younger years. At 1 year old, your constantly running after the baby, so he/she doesn't get hurt. At that age, children are so demanding and easily cry. I understand your wife's frustration, I had 3 children. It's all new and I'm sure she's worried if she's doing the right job. Some toddlers are really difficult to manage.

Give her time. Try and understand what she goes through on a daily basis. Give her a day off on the weekend and let her have a break, I'm sure she needs it. You'll see how hard it is keeping an eye on the little ones. Your sex life will improve when the children are older. Same with your relationship with her, the baby comes first until they are more independent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

You dont tell us how she is treating your daughter. Is she yelling at her as well. Some women get like that, but you have to be firm. If she says you havent done something 'good enough' then undo it. She will soon get the message.


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## misticli (Oct 28, 2011)

We went through a time in our relationship where I was angry a lot. I could not verbally express why I was so angry and unhappy. I did have am imbalance, which in the winter months due to lack of natural light made me more grumpy; however, the main reason I was so angry with him was that he was not meeting my emotional needs. I need to be hugged more in a non-sexual manner. Once I was able to speak with him and demand this he stepped up his game and I have been back in dreamy love every since.

Why not scheduling some time each week were you take over the kids and she gets some girl time, or a spa treat? That would make her feel like you are in this with her.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Sounds like she's got what I call "Mother Hen Syndrome". Where her focus has turned to motherhood, her instincts are over riding her common sense and has put her in hyper drive to mothering a child and nothing else matters when this happens.

It's our ovaries and hormones that cause this switch. She needs to recognize this and work to a more balanced situation between relationship and baby. Some women also go through something called Post Partum Depression (PPD) or even, very rarely, Post Partum Psychosis (PPP).

PPP is rare but does happen if PPD goes untreated, denied or ignored. It can last years and years. The sex drive drops, the motivation falls away and the irritability is high.

I went through PPD for years and years.


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## rockstar861 (Dec 17, 2011)

accept said:


> You dont tell us how she is treating your daughter. Is she yelling at her as well. Some women get like that, but you have to be firm. If she says you havent done something 'good enough' then undo it. She will soon get the message.


first of all, I greatly appreciate all of the awesome feedback. Secondly, the quote above caught my attention, and may provide additional information. Although it does vary, she has become very short with our daughter, and has yelled at her on several occasions as well. Hope this information helps.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't believe there is any such thing as sex addiction. But if there is then I submit there's also a thing call beotch addiction. Nagoholics Anonymous is for them.


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## wcl10072003 (Aug 24, 2011)

Have you ever looked into Post Partum Depression? When I had PPD, I was angry, unmotivated, and really wanted nothing to do with my husband. And this went of for a long time since I thought PPD meant I would be an emotional, crying mess that could only think of harming my baby. When I finally started on antidepressants, I started to feel like myself again.


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## jessicx (Sep 5, 2011)

wcl10072003 said:


> Have you ever looked into Post Partum Depression? When I had PPD, I was angry, unmotivated, and really wanted nothing to do with my husband. And this went of for a long time since I thought PPD meant I would be an emotional, crying mess that could only think of harming my baby. When I finally started on antidepressants, I started to feel like myself again.


I'm actually surprised it took this long for someone to mention depression. It seems her behavior is "classic" for PPD. She lacks enjoyment in anything, including sex and raising your new child. Lack of motivation is another sign, as is unrealistic or poorly directed anger. 

Someone earlier mentioned hormones. Fluctuating and unbalanced hormones cause changes in the functioning and availablitiy of neurotransmitters in the brain... leading to PPD. It most likely will not go away on its own... she needs help. Meanwhile, try to understand that if this the cause, her behavior is not intentionally directed at you. It is a temporary disease that she has no control over. I know it doesn't make it easier to live with, but it might make it easier for you to communicate with her. Be strong. If you work together, you can get through this.


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## rockstar861 (Dec 17, 2011)

> It seems her behavior is "classic" for PPD. She lacks enjoyment in anything, including sex and raising your new child. Lack of motivation is another sign, as is unrealistic or poorly directed anger.


So, does anyone have any advice as how to approach treating this? How does a person go about recommending a visit to a doctor, etc? Thanks everyone for the help and great advice!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Her anger appears to be the result of a stress disorder and/or depression. I've been there myself. The best way to get to the root cause is to see a psychologist. They can do testing and best evaluate how to approach the problem.

The hardest part will be getting her to admit she has a problem. Start by having a very nice conversation with her. Be loving and supportive. Let her know you want her to be happy again. And if that goes nowhere, perhaps get other family members to encourage her to seek help.


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## jessicx (Sep 5, 2011)

rockstar861 said:


> So, does anyone have any advice as how to approach treating this? How does a person go about recommending a visit to a doctor, etc? Thanks everyone for the help and great advice!


If your wife is truly depressed, it shouldn't be hard to get her help. The thing about depression is that it makes the sufferer feel truly terrible... she won't want to feel this way and may already be feeling like she has an illness (pain and exhaustion are very often symptoms of depression).

You'll probably have to get her in to see her primary care doctor, who will have to make the referral to a psychiatrist for meds and psychotherapy. If your family doctor is worth anything at all, he'll get her the help she needs.

When you approach her, don't place blame. It will push her further down into her own head. Tell her how much you've noticed a change in her, and how much you're concerned about her. If you're religious and she refuses to talk to a counselor, a visit to your pastor might make it easier for her.

Also, make it easy for her to decide.... tell her you'll take the day off or even go with her if it would put her at ease.

I truly hope this helps and that you're able to get you and your family the help it needs. Good Luck.


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