# Appropriate Dress To A Wedding And Bullying



## EllisRedding

I saw an article where a fitness instructor, Liz Krueger, was bullied at a wedding over the dress (or should I say miniskirt) she wore. Much of the backlash/bullying came from other women. Here is a quote from the article:



> Weddings should be a time to celebrate love and shower the couple getting married with attention. But unfortunately, when Liz Krueger attended a friend's wedding, the occasion became more about the dress Krueger was wearing. The fitness instructor attended the party in a minidress and many took issue with that choice, she wrote in a viral Instagram post.
> 
> "If only I knew that choosing this dress for a wedding on a 90-degree day meant so many women would be outrightly rude to me, and even come up behind me slap my ass as I'm standing alone," she wrote. Someone even spilled beer down her arm on a dare, because she was "a target."
> 
> But her reaction to the bullying and harassment is inspiring. Instead of letting it get her down, she still had fun at the wedding and shared a lesson that everyone can learn from what she faced. She announced over Instagram that she's starting a movement called #KruegerKindness to challenge women to support one another through volunteering and random acts of kindness.
> 
> "If you want to join me in this movement, share your stories on social media with #KruegerKindness and let's kill all the mean girls with kindness," she wrote. "We live in a world that needs more women willing to put themselves out there for a good cause!!!"


Here is what she wore to the wedding:










I don't in any way condone bullying, but maybe the underlying question, is wearing an outfit like this to a wedding disrespectful and meant more as an attention grab away from the bride/groom? 

Curious to hear thoughts of those here (in particular females since they seem to be the hardest on each other).


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## bluezone

Ummm.....can anyone say "LOOK AT ME! I'm dying for attention?"

A wedding is about celebrating the union of two people, as mentioned in the article. I wouldn't condone the treatment the other people gave her at the wedding, but save the dress for going to the club, honey.


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## GTdad

It's a hell of a dress, that's for sure. And it makes me wonder whether the women in question were more upset at the perception that Krueger was attempting to upstage the bride and groom, or at the likelihood that their men's eyes strayed once too often.


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## rockon

Um.....wow. That screams "look at me...look at me!

If it were my wedding I would politely tell her to leave. I would find it disrespectful.


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## samyeagar

bluezone said:


> Ummm.....*can anyone say "LOOK AT ME! I'm dying for attention?"*
> 
> A wedding is about celebrating the union of two people, not "look at me...I'm a fitness instructor!!" I wouldn't condone the treatment the other people gave her at the wedding, but save the dress for going to the club, honey.


It may have been that, but it could also be that some people are just that clueless, out of touch, and wrapped up in their own world for it to even cross their mind what is appropriate in given situations...not sure which is worse...


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## tropicalbeachiwish

It was an inappropriate dress to wear to a wedding. In fact, it's inappropriate for a lot of events. It's great that she's healthy and isn't ashamed to show it off but . . . not at a wedding. It's too bad that no one close to her could have pulled her to the side beforehand and said "Look. You're giving the wrong message at the wedding.". Or maybe someone did and she didn't give a crap. 

Regardless, I wouldn't have treated her badly. I just would have felt sorry for her.


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## Rowan

She's an attractive woman with a great body. That said, I would consider the dress to be tacky and classless. It's more in the range of clubwear, which means it's not likely to be appropriate for a wedding. Even if the dress had been acceptable on the formality scale for the event, though, she still looks a little mutton-dressed-as-lamb in it. It's definitely designed to be an attention grabbing outfit. 

But I also wonder if she's not a bit over-sensitive to the reactions of others. Did someone really pour a drink down her arm on a dare? Why would that even happen? I'm guessing that this was actually a combination of drunk people behaving poorly (spilling, etc.), an over-reaction to perceived slights on her part, and what seems to be a tendency to fuel drama with both her appearance and her online presence. If people were really, verifiably, targeting her for ill-behaved slights over a tacky outfit, perhaps she needs better people in her social circle. But this whole thing feels like social-media drama-seeking to me.


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## Middle of Everything

Rowan said:


> She's an attractive woman with a great body. That said, I would consider the dress to be tacky and classless. It's more in the range of clubwear, which means it's not likely to be appropriate for a wedding. Even if the dress had been acceptable on the formality scale for the event, though, she still looks a little mutton-dressed-as-lamb in it. It's definitely designed to be an attention grabbing outfit.
> 
> But I also wonder if she's not a bit over-sensitive to the reactions of others. Did someone really pour a drink down her arm on a dare? Why would that even happen? I'm guessing that this was actually a combination of drunk people behaving poorly (spilling, etc.), an over-reaction to perceived slights on her part, and what seems to be a tendency to fuel drama with both her appearance and her online presence. If people were really, verifiably, targeting her for ill-behaved slights over a tacky outfit, perhaps she needs better people in her social circle. But this whole thing feels like social-media drama-seeking to me.


Agreed on all you wrote. Well maybe execpt for the attractive woman part. I think she is an ok looking woman with a great body. Too many people think skinny/fit equals pretty/handsome. Just my opinion.

But I do very much agree that its classless, and potentially made up to seek social media fame.


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## john117

My older daughter - similar physique - wore a similar height dress to a wedding last week. But the dress was elegantly flowing, not skin tight, and a subdued single color to match the theme of the wedding. 

It was reported that the bride's mom wore something "wild" and was duly ogled by all male celebrants😂


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## 3Xnocharm

She looks amazing! But the dress is not wedding appropriate. However that does not excuse other women being sh!tty to her! They were just jealous, that's pretty obvious...clearly they did not have the self control or sense of decency to keep their catty feelings to themselves.


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## EllisRedding

3Xnocharm said:


> She looks amazing! But the dress is not wedding appropriate. *However that does not excuse other women being sh!tty to her! *They were just jealous, that's pretty obvious...clearly they did not have the self control or sense of decency to keep their catty feelings to themselves.


The bolded is the part that is fascinating to me. There is no doubt that in general women face a ton more scrutiny in society/media over their appearance, yet the harshest critics appear to in many cases come from other women.


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## samyeagar

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded is the part that is fascinating to me. There is no doubt that in general women face a ton more scrutiny in society/media over their appearance, yet the harshest critics appear to in many cases come from other women.


Sexual competitiveness?


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## EllisRedding

samyeagar said:


> Sexual competitiveness?


Could very well be. As well, low self esteem / confidence (i.e. feel better about yourself by tearing other people down).


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## samyeagar

EllisRedding said:


> Could very well be. As well, low self esteem / confidence (i.e.* feel better about yourself by tearing other people down*).


This is an unfortunate reality for many, many people.

People tend to want a level field. They want to feel a sense of equality, and when that balance is perceived as off, they tend to take action to level it, especially when they are on the lower end of it. This can be accomplished in one of two ways...build themselves up, or tear the other down. People tend to follow the path of least resistance, take the easiest road available, and unfortunately many people find it easier to destroy than to build.


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## 3Xnocharm

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded is the part that is fascinating to me. There is no doubt that in general women face a ton more scrutiny in society/media over their appearance, yet the harshest critics appear to in many cases come from other women.


Oh, no doubt! Women are the worst! Its ok to feel some jealousy...am I jealous of how she looks? Hell yes I am! But that isn't HER fault..she clearly works her ass off to look like that, and I am lazy and choose not to do so, so that's why I don't look like her! lol... However it would never cross my mind to be rotten to her because of it. Petty and immature...I mean aren't we supposed to be mature adults?


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## norajane

Lol, that is such a tacky dress! I know young women want to look like Kardashians these days, but she's really screaming for attention. I'd never say anything to her, though. I keep my mouth shut, too, when my cousins' daughters dress tacky like that and then lament why none of the guys they meet want actual relationships with them. Live and learn, everyone needs to make their own mistakes.


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## tech-novelist

EllisRedding said:


> I saw an article where a fitness instructor, Liz Krueger, was bullied at a wedding over the dress (or should I say miniskirt) she wore. Much of the backlash/bullying came from other women. Here is a quote from the article:
> 
> Here is what she wore to the wedding:


IMO, that would be more appropriate for a bachelor party.
As the stripper, that is.


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## Cletus

Social convention. Bah.

Is it illegal? No. Then it's appropriate if you think it is.


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## Rowan

Festivus said:


> Social convention. Bah.
> 
> Is it illegal? No. Then it's appropriate if you think it is.


Of course people are free to wear anything they wish, no matter the dictates of social convention. The flip side of that, though, is that everyone else is also free to make judgements about you based on your unwillingness to conform to those social conventions. Is it okay to be nasty to people? Never. But I also find it a bit disingenuous to clutch your pearls and claim victimhood if people note your non-adherence to social norms, when you've obviously gone out of your way to flout them.


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## MrsAldi

People should be entitled to wear what they want. 

If you want a guest to wear a certain "uniform" at your wedding, put it in writing on the invitation. 

I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear. 

If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it. 

And no I'm not a feminist at all. 
But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding

MrsAldi said:


> People should be entitled to wear what they want.
> 
> If you want a guest to wear a certain "uniform" at your wedding, put it in writing on the invitation.
> 
> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it.
> 
> And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


There was an article about this because the lady in question went to social media to post about it.

Likewise, listing dos/don'ts for a wedding is unnecessary IMO (unless you want a black tie affair) as there should be some expectation as to common sense or what the norm is.


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## Rowan

MrsAldi said:


> If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it.



There was not one article about this woman's dress choice either until she, herself, posted about it on her social media. This level of spectacle about this event is of her own creation. 

Like it or not, social conventions do still exist in some places. Not dressing inappropriately at certain venues is one of them. And, yes, if a man had shown up in jeans, he too would have been equally inappropriately dressed.


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## norajane

MrsAldi said:


> People should be entitled to wear what they want.
> 
> If you want a guest to wear a certain "uniform" at your wedding, put it in writing on the invitation.
> 
> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> *If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it. *
> 
> And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


If she had turned up in t-shirt and jeans, there wouldn't be an article about it, either. The only reason there is an article is because SHE put it out there on her blog or Instagram or whatever to get more attention. Which she is getting, so mission accomplished!

If that hypothetical guy had shown up in spandex speedos and tank top, I suspect he would have gotten some ridicule, and if he needed more clicks and attention for his body-building business, he'd write a blog and there would be an article about him, and every single person would say his attire was not appropriate for a wedding.


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## MrsAldi

EllisRedding said:


> There was an article about this because the lady in question went to social media to post about it.
> 
> Likewise, listing dos/don'ts for a wedding is unnecessary IMO (unless you want a black tie affair) as there should be some expectation as to common sense or what the norm is.


It's not a dress that I would wear anywhere, never mind a wedding. 
But to judge somebody on what item of clothing they are wearing is wrong in my opinion. 
I would get to know someone first, before I judge on whether they are a good or bad person. 
Just my opinion. 
I judge people via their personality. 
Not on looks, clothing, race or age. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## zookeeper

I'm having a hard time seeing this woman in the victim role.


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## Starstarfish

*Re: AppropriateBut I'm tired of us ladies being judge Dress To A Wedding And Bullying*



> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.


At what point did us having any sort of basic feelings of social decorum mean people were "judged all the time."

Who would honestly wear the pictured outfit to church? I mean, maybe it's because I was raised Catholic but ... no. 

Like this concept we can no longer have any sort of basic dress code at school without it being "**** shaming." I'm sorry, but when I was a kid I managed to wear T-shirts and shorts of an appropriate length to school yes with no air-conditioning and somehow survived. My mother never would have come to school to argue about how wearing a visible bra and a tank-top with the armholes down to my hips was a necessity because of the heat.

Are we breeding people these days who are physically incapable of dealing with sweating? Like it's 90 degrees therefore I need to wear the minimum amount of clothing possible regardless of location or occasion? What happened to sun dresses or peasant skirts? 

I went to a wedding in Reno in August years ago and I can't even really put into proper words how hot that was. It was like Satan's armpit, and I wore a yellow sundress. Was I "dressed down" for the occasion? Possibly, but that's a better equivalent to the man in a jeans and a T-shirt scenario than this.


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## NextTimeAround

MrsAldi said:


> People should be entitled to wear what they want.
> 
> If you want a guest to wear a certain "uniform" at your wedding, put it in writing on the invitation.
> 
> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> *If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it.
> 
> *And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


My mother kicked out a wedding guest at my sister's wedding because he wore a track suit.


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## EllisRedding

MrsAldi said:


> It's not a dress that I would wear anywhere, never mind a wedding.
> But to judge somebody on what item of clothing they are wearing is wrong in my opinion.
> I would get to know someone first, before I judge on whether they are a good or bad person.
> Just my opinion.
> I judge people via their personality.
> Not on looks, clothing, race or age.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


I agree, you try not to judge someone, but at the same time there is a reason you hear about first impressions, you have to assume (whether right or wrong) you are being judged when someone first sees you. When I say judged, it doesn't have to be a bad t hing, but we all do it, we look for similarities and differences in each person we see.

I will be honest, I don't find her terribly attractive, so it is not like if she walked into a wedding all I would be thinking about is dirty thoughts. Based on her dress and the event (a wedding) my assumption would naturally be she is seeking attention.

Either way though, I don't believe bullying type behavior is in any way appropriate.


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## NextTimeAround

norajane said:


> Lol, that is such a tacky dress! I know young women want to look like Kardashians these days, but she's really screaming for attention. I'd never say anything to her, though. I keep my mouth shut, too, when my cousins' daughters dress tacky like that and then lament why none of the guys they meet want actual relationships with them. Live and learn, everyone needs to make their own mistakes.


yeah, I was thinking she looks like Caitlyn Jenner.


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## EllisRedding

*Re: AppropriateBut I'm tired of us ladies being judge Dress To A Wedding And Bullying*



Starstarfish said:


> Are we breeding people these days who are physically incapable of dealing with sweating?


Haha, best question in this thread :grin2:


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## samyeagar

MrsAldi said:


> People should be entitled to wear what they want.
> 
> If you want a guest to wear a certain "uniform" at your wedding, put it in writing on the invitation.
> 
> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> *If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it. *
> 
> And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Likely right, at least from the guys attending. They wouldn't care. Though if he was hot, ripped, and the shirt fit just right, there would be plenty of approval from many of the women attendees.


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## Acoa

MrsAldi said:


> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it.
> 
> And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.


The guy would be publicly ridiculed and probably asked to go change or go home. 

Women tend to be more passive aggressive about it. They also have a wider range of styles to choose from, so more opportunity for error. 

Yes, her dress screams look at me. But I've seen worse. Honestly I think the biggest mistake she made was wearing something that skimpy in a color that too closely matches her skin tone. Go black, or dark blue on that same dress and it wouldn't look near as scandalous.


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## Starstarfish

> But to judge somebody on what item of clothing they are wearing is wrong in my opinion.
> I would get to know someone first, before I judge on whether they are a good or bad person.


There's a difference between judging a choice and judging a person.

Just because you make a bad choice doesn't make you a "bad person."

I have friends I love to death who I know are great people, but if one of them had shown up to a wedding I was at in this outfit, I'd have asked them wtf they were thinking.


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## Rowan

MrsAldi said:


> It's not a dress that I would wear anywhere, never mind a wedding.
> *But to judge somebody on what item of clothing they are wearing is wrong in my opinion.
> I would get to know someone first, before I judge on whether they are a good or bad person.
> *Just my opinion.
> I judge people via their personality.
> Not on looks, clothing, race or age.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


I'm not sure people are judging whether she's a good or bad person. She might be an angel who donates heavily to worthy charities, volunteers at the homeless shelter and is kind to animals and children. What she isn't, however, is dressed appropriately. Nothing to do with judging her moral value or relative worth as a human being. Everything to do with judging her inappropriate dress for the event amd her apparent desire to seek added drama over it via social media. It's possible to be a great person who dressed inappropriately.


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## EllisRedding

Rowan said:


> It's possible to be a great person who dressed inappropriately.


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## zookeeper

Where did she say that her worth as a person was questioned? I read that there were rude comments, some bizarre ass slapping and a drink spilled on her allegedly on purpose. I'd say that's negative feedback on her choice of apparel. 

Sometimes when you go out of your way to get attention, you'll receive it. Negative attention. That's life. As far as I can tell, this was done to her by other women.

If I were at a wedding and she showed up, it wouldn't bother me a bit and I doubt many men would care any more than me. The women folk would no doubt be whipped up about it. If anyone is shaming women for how they dress it's other women.


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## Rowan

EllisRedding said:


>


Bless it! He's been inappropriately dressed since at least the late '70s.


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## citygirl4344

EllisRedding said:


> There was an article about this because the lady in question went to social media to post about it.
> 
> 
> 
> Likewise, listing dos/don'ts for a wedding is unnecessary IMO (unless you want a black tie affair) as there should be some expectation as to common sense or what the norm is.




I'm all for people wearing what you want but you have to take into consideration where you are going. A wedding is an event where everyone should be commenting on the brides dress not a guest.

Wearing that dress was just as inappropriate as a guy wearing jeans and tshirt in my opinion.


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## MrsAldi

Perhaps the women in the room were intimidated by her overtly expressing her body & were likely jealous because the men in the room were looking at her in a sexual way. 

I would consider the dress to be one for a night club, not for a wedding.
Maybe she was flirting with husband & boyfriends? 
Maybe she's an attention seeker? Perhaps. 

But I'm not going to judge a person on the internet when I wasn't there & didn't witness her behaviour. 

This is definitely the Kardashian (or whatever there called) influence. 
On one hand you have them wearing these types of dresses during the day, there are praised for great fashion, yet ordinary women are scolded while the famous ones are put on a pedestal via the media. 

It's mixed messaging yet again. 






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## southbound

I don't condone bullying.

With that said, how did we get to a place in society where people once dressed up just to go to town, regardless of how poor you were, to wearing pajamas to the grocery and a dress like that to a wedding? I think that dress is inappropriate for a wedding. Why would one wear it unless they want to be the center of attention. 

Improper dress occurs in every aspect of society these days. I'll give an example that pokes at my own neck of the woods. I live in the country, and many years ago, most people were poor here, but you could bet they had at least on good shirt, pair of pants, and dress that they wore at events anytime they had a chance because they took pride in the fact that they could look nice and appropriate to the occasion. They could "clean up pretty good" as the saying went. 

These days, if there is an occasion that calls for a little dressing up, country boys can't always dress accordingly, because they're just "country boys, right?" Instead of dressing nice for the occasion, they wear overalls, Redwing work boots, and their John Deere cap; and if the clothes look a little worn and the cap has a little field dust on it, that adds to the effect too. 

The opinion among some is that people have the right to wear what they want. Well, that is true. Since I am an adult and can wear whatever I want, so, I choose to wear things appropriate to the occasion. Why would one not?


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## lucy999

She's got a gorgeous body. I've always said, if you've got it, flaunt it. However, this dress is nowhere near appropriate to wear to a wedding. Is she that clueless about proper wedding attire? I had read this article before this was posted. She indicated that it was super hot weather so this dress would fit the bill. However, there are plenty of other summer dresses that would have been way more appropriate here. That said, the bullying is shameful.

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## norajane

Super hot? Lol, the last thing I want to wear when it's super hot is something super tight with spandex. Loose and cotton is what I'd choose.

I also don't really buy the bullying, ass slapping and drink spilling. If those are the kinds of people she runs into at a wedding, she needs to find some new friends and family.


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## EllisRedding

norajane said:


> Super hot? Lol, the last thing I want to wear when it's super hot is something super tight with spandex. Loose and cotton is what I'd choose.
> 
> *I also don't really buy the bullying, ass slapping and drink spilling*. If those are the kinds of people she runs into at a wedding, she needs to find some new friends and family.


The bolded, I am having a hard time believing as well. Would random women really go up to another woman and slap her ass b/c of teh outfit she was wearing


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## citygirl4344

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded, I am having a hard time believing as well. Would random women really go up to another woman and slap her ass b/c of teh outfit she was wearing




Are you kidding? I do it all the time :b
Lol

Yes I'm feeling that this was an excuse to take a picture of herself, write a shameful injustice article and get exposure.


Sent from my iPhone


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## larry.gray

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded is the part that is fascinating to me. There is no doubt that in general women face a ton more scrutiny in society/media over their appearance, yet the harshest critics appear to in many cases come from other women.


:iagree:

Women like to attack men for the "double standard" but is far more often perpetrated at the hands of other women.

When we had our first daughter, I talked to my wife about trying to raise her free of this viewpoint. My wife intellectually agrees but still has a gut reaction to slvt shame other women. Knowing that, she agreed to try and check her reaction around her kids.

We failed in that goal. Not because of us, but because of peer pressure influence. I still try, but both of my older girls will be catty with women who flaunt their sexuality like this.


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## EllisRedding

citygirl4344 said:


> Are you kidding? I do it all the time :b
> Lol


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## MJJEAN

MrsAldi said:


> But to judge somebody on what item of clothing they are wearing is wrong in my opinion.
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


How we present ourselves is how people perceive us. We all know this. If a woman appears at a wedding dressed like a stripper/prostitute, people are going to treat her accordingly.

It's not about how she dresses so much as what she is saying about herself by dressing like that to someone else's formal event. By wearing that dress to a wedding, she's saying she doesn't care about social convention. Well, if you don't care about social convention and being a member of polite society, don't cry when polite society calls you on it by snubbing or making comments.

For me, it's not at all about sexuality. It's about thumbing your nose at social convention like a rebellious, attention seeking teenager and being downright rude to your hosts and other guests.

Frankly, I think she's very unattractive. She has nice muscle tone, but her face is not at all attractive in my view and her skin looks like leather. I saw the pic before I did any reading and honestly thought she was a trans man dressed as his female self. And that made me think that perhaps s/he didn't know any better than to wear that dress to a wedding because s/he had lived as a man and was just learning the ins and outs of women's clothing.


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## norajane

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded, I am having a hard time believing as well. Would random women really go up to another woman and slap her ass b/c of teh outfit she was wearing


I sure don't know any! Like I said, my cousins' daughters (late 20's) like to dress like Kardashians and wear the heavy make-up. They showed up dressed in short, clingy dresses at my sister's wedding a couple years ago (though not that short, clingy or nude colored - such an unflattering color for most women). No one said boo to them (nor _about _them behind their backs), much less came close to slapping asses, not even any drunk uncles or random groomsmen or anything.


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## Joey2k

rockon said:


> Um.....wow. That screams "look at me...look at me!


And if that wasn't enough, then she starts a support group/movement and names it after herself.


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## 2ntnuf

EllisRedding said:


> I saw an article where a fitness instructor, Liz Krueger, was bullied at a wedding over the dress (or should I say miniskirt) she wore. Much of the backlash/bullying came from other women. Here is a quote from the article:
> 
> 
> 
> Here is what she wore to the wedding:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I don't in any way condone bullying, but maybe the underlying question, is wearing an outfit like this to a wedding disrespectful and meant more as an attention grab away from the bride/groom?
> 
> Curious to hear thoughts of those here (in particular females since they seem to be the hardest on each other).


I don't think you would look good in that dress, ER. Something a bit less shiny and maybe with a few narrow vertical stripes would be more flattering. The neck line can be low, but you don't want to expose your cleavage. Besides, no one likes hairy cleavage, anyway. 

>


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## EllisRedding

2ntnuf said:


> I don't think you would look good in that dress, ER. Something a bit less shiny and maybe with a few narrow vertical stripes would be more flattering. The neck line can be low, but you don't want to expose your cleavage. Besides, no one likes hairy cleavage, anyway.
> 
> >


Dude, I would rock that dress like no other dress had ever been rocked before


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## 2ntnuf

EllisRedding said:


> Dude, I would rock that dress like no other dress had ever been rocked before


bahahaha


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## Steve1000

EllisRedding said:


> Curious to hear thoughts of those here (in particular females since they seem to be the hardest on each other).


It would be a great anniversary dinner dress or date-night for going out for dancing, but I agree that it isn't appropriate to wear to a wedding. 

Other guests that went out of their way to make her uncomfortable, however, are just as out of line.


----------



## MJJEAN

norajane said:


> I sure don't know any! Like I said, my cousins' daughters (late 20's) like to dress like Kardashians and wear the heavy make-up. They showed up dressed in short, clingy dresses at my sister's wedding a couple years ago (though not that short, clingy or nude colored - such an unflattering color for most women). No one said boo to them (nor _about _them behind their backs), much less came close to slapping asses, not even any drunk uncles or random groomsmen or anything.


Just curious, but where do you live? Maybe different regions have different sets of acceptable dress and behavior at events.

I'm in the Midwest. I have been to many a wedding with many a niece or young cousin. Around here, someone shows up to a wedding dressed like the woman in the pic and they will be asked to either change into something appropriate to the occasion or leave. Usually, the Maid/Matron of Honor, Best Man, or the parents of the couple would be elected to say something. 

And there would certainly be a LOT of gossip and snark toward the woman after she either changed or left.

Now, going out clubbing with some folks after the celebration has a whole different set of rules and no one would bat an eye at an outfit like that.


----------



## Hope1964

Appropriate wedding wear? HELZ no. She looks like a slvt. That said, treating someone like a slvt just because they look like one isn't acceptable either. Was she acting like a slvt? Because then I can *maybe* see getting her azz slapped.


----------



## norajane

MJJEAN said:


> Just curious, but where do you live? Maybe different regions have different sets of acceptable dress and behavior at events.
> 
> I'm in the Midwest. I have been to many a wedding with many a niece or young cousin. Around here, someone shows up to a wedding dressed like the woman in the pic and they will be asked to either change into something appropriate to the occasion or leave. Usually, the Maid/Matron of Honor, Best Man, or the parents of the couple would be elected to say something.
> 
> And there would certainly be a LOT of gossip and snark toward the woman after she either changed or left.
> 
> Now, going out clubbing with some folks after the celebration has a whole different set of rules and no one would bat an eye at an outfit like that.


I'm in Chicago; that's what the young women wear to the clubs and on dates, out to eat. I think it's crazy, but we have lots of crazy people in our family and, well, these girls are family and we love them. No one paid any attention, least of all the bride.


----------



## MJJEAN

norajane said:


> I'm in Chicago; that's what the young women wear to the clubs and on dates, out to eat. I think it's crazy, but we have lots of crazy people in our family and, well, these girls are family and we love them. No one paid any attention, least of all the bride.


I'm in a suburb just south of Detroit. Blue collar working family area. Ethnically diverse.

Young women here wear the same kind of thing when they go out on dates or clubbing. They just couldn't get away with it anywhere else without people remarking on it at the very least.

Bachelorette party, GNO, no problem. Wedding, Baptism, baby shower, big problem.


----------



## southbound

I’m not always sure what people mean when they say we shouldn’t “judge” someone based on whatever the case may be; people throw this out all the time. Well, I can’t make a judgement on anyone that will affect anything. I’m not a judge that sits on the bench, and I’m certainly not God. He has never asked me for an opinion about anyone’s character, nor will he ever.

With that said, we all have to make judgements all the time in our everyday life; how else would we function? I can’t tell by looking at this woman if she is a robber, drug dealer, if she’s mean to her kids, if she is cruel to old people, or is just basically an evil person; If people are getting all that from a piece of clothing, maybe that is overboard; however, I can conclude that she doesn’t mind looking like a stripper in public and that she doesn't care about social convention, which is very disrespectful in my opinion. Personally, I wouldn’t want to look like a stripper in public, so I can judge that her thought process is different to mine, which could also indicate other general differences in our personality.

As another poster stated, how we present ourselves is how people perceive us. We all know this. The key there is, "we all know this." I don't always buy that people are as ignorant as they pretend to be. 

If I go out in public with a Stetson hat, cowboy boots, a huge belt buckle, jeans, and a western shirt, I wouldn’t think it weird if people looked at me and thought the rodeo must be in town, or that I must be a cowboy from out west. I’m not, but I wouldn’t think it weird if people thought that. At the least, I must be a cowboy wannabe and want attention. 

I’ve noticed that people also like to use the weather as an excuse for their attire. “Oh, it was so hot outside today.” The worst case scenario there would be a little discomfort. Personally, I can endure a little discomfort to show respect at someone else’s event.


----------



## EleGirl

MrsAldi said:


> I'm tired of seeing women being shamed for what we wear.
> 
> If a man turned up to the wedding in jeans & T-shirt I guarantee you, there would be not one article about it.
> 
> And no I'm not a feminist at all.
> 
> But I'm tired of us ladies being judged all the time on what clothing is appropriate.


Jeans as a t-shirt are not equivalent to the dress that the woman in the OP is wearing.

I tried finding an outfit on a man that would be equivalent. Maybe some version of the one below? 

I have no doubt that the men at a wedding would not be happy at all if some hot young man showed up like this.


----------



## EllisRedding

EleGirl said:


> I tried finding an outfit on a man that would be equivalent. Maybe some version of the one below?


Maybe this Jim Carrey outfit


----------



## larry.gray

EleGirl said:


> Jeans as a t-shirt are not equivalent to the dress that the woman in the OP is wearing.
> 
> I tried finding an outfit on a man that would be equivalent.


I agree. Perhaps some photos that my gay cousin's boyfriend posts on Facebook would be a good example? He's a fashion model, and has posts of his shoots up all the time.


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## MrsAldi

OK I've done some research & this is what proper wedding guest attire for ladies should be....








According to the magazine the lady should not show cleavage & not wear a length of the dress that is too short or too long. 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## MrsHolland

The whole thing looks like a media grab to me. Never heard of the woman in the OP but it comes across as she was seeking attention for her online image. I doubt she had drinks spilled on her or her arse smacked by other women. She went with the intention of causing a scene.

It would be a great dress for a party or nightclub but not a wedding.


----------



## joannacroc

I agree that it's not appropriate, but I don't see how ****-shaming women for inappropriate garb is helpful in any way. THAT definitely would be more disruptive to a wedding than wearing the wrong dress. I'm sure the people whose wedding it was probably saw it that way too. Also agree it was possibly a media grab or attempt to drum up business. But at least she's focusing on encouraging others to volunteer or be kind. A lot of social media is focused on the right bikini or similar [email protected]%.

Some people don't really understand etiquette. While it's important, it's not something that everybody grew up with. For all we know, she is a self-starter or had a crappy childhood and what-to-wear-to-weddings was further down on her priority list than, say, making a living, paying her bills, helping others live strong, healthy lives and that sort of thing. Personally, I think she looks amazing. She obviously works hard on her body.


----------



## Cletus

Hope1964 said:


> Appropriate wedding wear? HELZ no. She looks like a slvt. That said, treating someone like a slvt just because they look like one isn't acceptable either. Was she acting like a slvt? Because then I can *maybe* see getting her azz slapped.


I'm sure glad, as a man, that I didn't say that.


----------



## Haiku

I'm more inclined to feel it's inappropriate if the ceremony was in a church. Otherwise I suppose, like an author, she might due well to know her audience. At a reception or post ceremony party I see no problem with it. 

Ps - I like people who are fit and can wear such things. She works hard for it.


----------



## norajane

MrsHolland said:


> The whole thing looks like a media grab to me. Never heard of the woman in the OP but it comes across as she was seeking attention for her online image. I doubt she had drinks spilled on her or her arse smacked by other women. She went with the intention of causing a scene.
> 
> It would be a great dress for a party or nightclub but not a wedding.


For all we know, she never even went to a wedding, and had her ass slapped in a club.


----------



## Celes

Not exactly appropriate for a wedding but I've seen women wearing similar at a few weddings in the past. It doesn't really shock me.


----------



## NextTimeAround

EllisRedding said:


> The bolded is the part that is fascinating to me. There is no doubt that in general women face a ton more scrutiny in society/media over their appearance, yet the harshest critics appear to in many cases come from other women.


Generally, women who are unattractive to a man are effectively invisible. So it stands to reason why most men won't notice.

ETA...... and therefore, don't react.

Women generally are the gatekeepers of any society.


----------



## richie33

Festivus said:


> I'm sure glad, as a man, that I didn't say that.


Proves how women are 10 times worse to other women then men are.


----------



## soccermom2three

She looks great but she looks like she's going to a club not a wedding.


----------



## Kivlor

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought she was a trans man!

Seriously though, at most weddings I've attended she'd have been escorted off premises, and ridiculed. Which she would have deserved for her behavior. 

It must take some serious madness to behave this way, and then whine about being judged for it. We are all judged rightly based on how we behave, and this is behavior. I would argue that dressing like this to a wedding screams volumes about her as a person. 

I can think of a similar situation at a funeral with a cousin, where myself and 2 others literally dragged him off of the premises of *his own mother's funeral*, drove him home and forced him to change clothes. 

Respect and humility are lovely things. This woman and my cousin from my example lack either.


----------



## Cletus

Kivlor said:


> Seriously though, at most weddings I've attended she'd have been escorted off premises, and ridiculed. Which she would have deserved for her behavior.


Perhaps it's a regional difference, or the company I keep, but I'm glad that most of the weddings to which I would be invited wouldn't be populated with people who felt it was incumbent upon them to do either. 

Dress code Nazis at weddings? How American.


----------



## Rowan

Festivus said:


> Perhaps it's a regional difference, or the company I keep, but I'm glad that most of the weddings to which I would be invited wouldn't be populated with people who felt it was incumbent upon them to do either.
> 
> Dress code Nazis at weddings? How American.


I'm sure it is partly cultural, a regional difference if you will. 

In the culture in which I was raised, no one but your own mama has the authority to snatch you up and march you home to change. The scene caused by anyone else daring to do so would be even more anathema than the original offense of dressing like you lacked proper raising. However, if your mama (or another suitable matriarch, in dire cases) is not in attendance, then rest assured, you will be left entirely free to behave as you wish. Oh, everyone will be blessing your heart the remainder of the evening, and you will very likely find similar invitations in short supply in future. But, no, no one would dream of asking you to leave or change.


----------



## southbound

notmyrealname4 said:


> I'm thinking the prohibition against "judging" comes from the not too distant past, when most Americans (not sure about other places), were familiar with the Biblical admonition from Jesus "to judge not, lest ye be judged".
> 
> Which is spiritual judgement; and most of us are not qualified to judge someone's spiritual worthiness, or whatever you want to label it.
> 
> Somehow, this morphed into "you can't ever make a judgement about anyone or anything, no matter what the circumstance".


Very good post and logical conclusion. You are probably correct.




notmyrealname4 said:


> And that, as you pointed out, would lead to chaos.


True. If we didn't make judgements about people's actions and behaviors, our minds would just be numb and void of any reasoning ability. We wouldn't be able to make any decisions about anything people related. If 10 people applied for a job and all their credentials were equal, there would be no way to hire anybody among them, because beyond their credentials, the interviewer's mind would be void of any other abilities to make the judgement.



notmyrealname4 said:


> I hardly ever judge anyone's character (few people I know well enough to even make the attempt). But I DO judge their actions and behavior. And will continue to do so. And I expect them to "judge" me; for all their politically correct insistence that they are above judging anyone.


I agree.



notmyrealname4 said:


> Most people are all for "judging", if the judgment agrees with their value system, or falls in their favor.


Once again, very true.


----------



## Kivlor

Festivus said:


> Perhaps it's a regional difference, or the company I keep, but I'm glad that most of the weddings to which I would be invited wouldn't be populated with people who felt it was incumbent upon them to do either.
> 
> Dress code Nazis at weddings? How American.


Indeed, perhaps it is a regional difference, or the company we keep; but I'm glad that most of the people I surround myself with don't feel even remotely put upon to withhold from wearing certain garments to certain events. What a tyranny!
@Rowan Great point, and a little addition to my previously related story, one of the other men removing that cousin was indeed his father. I wouldn't have put it on myself to do something physical--and taken him aside for a serious 'splaining instead--but it was in helping the husband of the deceased; the father of the man being removed.


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## brooklynAnn

It's a nice dress. Nothing to write home about. It was hot and if she likes it, who cares. What I can't understand is that she stayed at an event where she was bullied. I don't slap other women's butt unless they are in my circle and I know them very well. So, I am surprised that women would do this to her. The beer being poured on her must have been a stupid person trying to get her attention.

This is just one of those dumb articles ,"it happen to me" things that yahoo publishes. Women need to learn how to be kind to each other, it seems like some of us never left high school. And she was stupid to stay around those people.


----------



## Cletus

This entire thread is an excellent reminder of the seemingly endless capacity for humans to want to control the victimless behavior of others.


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## MJJEAN

Festivus said:


> Perhaps it's a regional difference, or the company I keep, but I'm glad that most of the weddings to which I would be invited wouldn't be populated with people who felt it was incumbent upon them to do either.
> 
> Dress code Nazis at weddings? How American.


Here, attire like that at a wedding would be considered extremely disrespectful to the bride, groom, and seriousness of the occasion. 

If someone comes into an event and behaves in a rude, disrespectful, or disruptive manner, they are generally asked by staff to either cease the poor behavior or to leave. This is the exact same thing.


----------



## Cletus

MJJEAN said:


> Here, attire like that at a wedding would be considered extremely disrespectful to the bride, groom, and seriousness of the occasion.


I suppose they could ask her to take off the dress, at the risk of finding the behavior even more disrespectful.


----------



## MJJEAN

Festivus said:


> I suppose they could ask her to take off the dress, at the risk of finding the behavior even more disrespectful.


:grin2:

In all seriousness, though, if someone came to my family event, which a wedding generally is, dressed and/or behaving inappropriately, they would be asked to leave. If I'm hosting an event, I want to have a good time and I want everyone else to have a good time. I don't have the patience or desire to deal with attention seeking disrespectful behavior.


----------



## Cletus

MJJEAN said:


> :grin2:
> 
> In all seriousness, though, if someone came to my family event, which a wedding generally is, dressed and/or behaving inappropriately, they would be asked to leave. If I'm hosting an event, I want to have a good time and I want everyone else to have a good time. I don't have the patience or desire to deal with attention seeking disrespectful behavior.


So the problem I have is this:

I get a little gas when I see others judging someone's personal tastes that harshly. She's not wearing crotchless panties (assuming she has any on at all!) while uncrossing her legs. There's no cutouts on the front for nipple clamps. No abortion pictures, political slogans, or animal blood splashed across the front. 

If she came to the wedding dressed like that, acted respectfully to the bride and groom, didn't get drunk and loud, and didn't bang the best man in the confessional, then I'd say the people with the respect problem would be the ones who tossed her out, not the one (gasp!) wearing that dress. 

What is so mind-numbingly important about the clothes on one's back that make you want to eject them from a wedding? That's what I don't (and probably never will) understand. I'm reminded of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny". 

Then again, I would never patronize a restaurant that wanted to rent me a jacket before sitting down either. I'm way more interested in the person than in what they choose to wrap themselves.


----------



## zookeeper

Festivus said:


> So the problem I have is this:
> 
> I get a little gas when I see others judging someone's personal tastes that harshly. She's not wearing crotchless panties (assuming she has any on at all!) while uncrossing her legs. There's no cutouts on the front for nipple clamps. No abortion pictures, political slogans, or animal blood splashed across the front.
> 
> If she came to the wedding dressed like that, acted respectfully to the bride and groom, didn't get drunk and loud, and didn't bang the best man in the confessional, then I'd say the people with the respect problem would be the ones who tossed her out, not the one (gasp!) wearing that dress.
> 
> What is so mind-numbingly important about the clothes on one's back that make you want to eject them from a wedding? That's what I don't (and probably never will) understand. I'm reminded of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny".
> 
> Then again, I would never patronize a restaurant that wanted to rent me a jacket before sitting down either. I'm way more interested in the person than in what they choose to wrap themselves.


You seem ok with judging personal tastes if that happens to be showing off beaver or carrying political protest signs. So is your objection simply where the lines are drawn?


----------



## sokillme

I predict this story isn't true and it is all a publicity stunt. She made it up.


----------



## sokillme

Festivus said:


> So the problem I have is this:
> 
> I get a little gas when I see others judging someone's personal tastes that harshly. She's not wearing crotchless panties (assuming she has any on at all!) while uncrossing her legs. There's no cutouts on the front for nipple clamps. No abortion pictures, political slogans, or animal blood splashed across the front.
> 
> If she came to the wedding dressed like that, acted respectfully to the bride and groom, didn't get drunk and loud, and didn't bang the best man in the confessional, then I'd say the people with the respect problem would be the ones who tossed her out, not the one (gasp!) wearing that dress.
> 
> What is so mind-numbingly important about the clothes on one's back that make you want to eject them from a wedding? That's what I don't (and probably never will) understand. I'm reminded of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny".
> 
> Then again, I would never patronize a restaurant that wanted to rent me a jacket before sitting down either. I'm way more interested in the person than in what they choose to wrap themselves.



Everyone has a right to judge whatever they want, you are judging people for judging. We do it every day. They don't have a right to be rude.


----------



## BobSimmons

Nice dress. 

No problem with it. 

If there's anyone gawking or distracted says more about them and their relationship than her.

Not inappropriate at all.


----------



## Cletus

sokillme said:


> Everyone has a right to judge whatever they want, you are judging people for judging. We do it every day. They don't have a right to be rude.


Yes, I am. The difference being that I wouldn't throw anyone out of a wedding to which I'd invited them for our difference of opinion.


----------



## MJJEAN

Festivus said:


> So the problem I have is this:
> 
> I get a little gas when I see others judging someone's personal tastes that harshly. She's not wearing crotchless panties (assuming she has any on at all!) while uncrossing her legs. There's no cutouts on the front for nipple clamps. No abortion pictures, political slogans, or animal blood splashed across the front.
> 
> If she came to the wedding dressed like that, acted respectfully to the bride and groom, didn't get drunk and loud, and didn't bang the best man in the confessional, then I'd say the people with the respect problem would be the ones who tossed her out, not the one (gasp!) wearing that dress.
> 
> What is so mind-numbingly important about the clothes on one's back that make you want to eject them from a wedding? That's what I don't (and probably never will) understand. I'm reminded of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny".
> 
> Then again, I would never patronize a restaurant that wanted to rent me a jacket before sitting down either. I'm way more interested in the person than in what they choose to wrap themselves.


The problem is that by coming to the wedding dressed like that, she has already behaved in a disrespectful manner to the bride and groom. She can behave politely in other ways, but the outfit would be viewed as disrespectful by pretty much any church going community, people of many other cultures that value modesty in dress, and people who just simply take manners seriously.

I'm sure that here in the Midwest, the offense would be classified as a misdemeanor. In the Bible Belt, it'd probably be a felony. And in places like LA, New York, or Miami, it wouldn't even register. 


Like it or not, people look at the way a person is dressed and how they present themselves before deciding if they want to strike up a conversation. Maybe not all, but I'd say a vast majority. It's what we do. 

If I saw that woman at a club wearing that dress and she seemed interesting somehow, I'd chat with her to see if she really was interesting. If I saw her at a wedding wearing that dress, I'd avoid talking with her for 2 reasons. 1) It's rude and could be attention seeking drama queen behavior. No, thanks, I have daughters. I don't need any more of that in my life. 2) I don't want to get hit by the tar and feathers.

Besides, there are many styles of dress she could have worn that would have been equally sexy and not nearly as tasteless.


----------



## EleGirl

sokillme said:


> I predict this story isn't true and it is all a publicity stunt. She made it up.


:iagree:


----------



## Starstarfish

sokillme said:


> I predict this story isn't true and it is all a publicity stunt. She made it up.


I second this, it was before the tragic events in Dallas the top trending topic on Facebook. Feels like it was done on purpose, whether or not the reactions were totally made up or she was just gunning for fodder to fuel her celebrity, it worked wonders.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Festivus said:


> So the problem I have is this:
> 
> I get a little gas when I see others judging someone's personal tastes that harshly. She's not wearing crotchless panties (assuming she has any on at all!) while uncrossing her legs. There's no cutouts on the front for nipple clamps. No abortion pictures, political slogans, or animal blood splashed across the front.
> 
> If she came to the wedding dressed like that, acted respectfully to the bride and groom, didn't get drunk and loud, and didn't bang the best man in the confessional, then I'd say the people with the respect problem would be the ones who tossed her out, not the one (gasp!) wearing that dress.
> 
> What is so mind-numbingly important about the clothes on one's back that make you want to eject them from a wedding? That's what I don't (and probably never will) understand. I'm reminded of Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny".
> 
> Then again, I would never patronize a restaurant that wanted to rent me a jacket before sitting down either. I'm way more interested in the person than in what they choose to wrap themselves.


Right. I disagree. 

There are often cultural, religious, or institutional norms involved. You are saying that if you don't respect the norm which is essentially the shared values of the group, then it's their problem. That's backwards. 

If you feel that you can't respect a norm, then don't disrespect everyone who does by violating it. In your restaurant example, don't go there. In the case of the wedding, don't go there. 

I'm sure there are people who don't understand what's appropriate and what isn't. Maybe they should be allowances made in those situations. But when you do understand and decide to be inappropriate anyway that's just self-entitled behavior.


----------



## ABHale

Sorry but anyone going to a wedding should conceder the bride. It is the brides day no one else. She should never have worn that dress if it cast a shadow on the bride doing it. 

When my wife and I got married we had a problem with one of the guest. The difference being the girl worn a antique white dress that could have passed for a wedding dress. The solution, I kept my eyes on my beautiful bride and when we were greeting people I skipped her hand and eye contact and went to the next person in line. Then when she past I gave my WIFE now a hug and kiss and simple said I love you. I can still picture the joy and love in my wife's eyes from that day. We talked about it a week or so later, found out then how mad and upset she really was. Also how happy she was with how I handled it.


----------



## staarz21

If this story is true - and it seems unlikely - then the dress was definitely inappropriate. If the woman was in fact slapped on the ass by others or had beer poured down her arm (Who does this? Was it a frat party or a wedding?), then she needs new friends. Bullying is never okay. However, acting like an attention seeker will get you attention, just maybe not the kind you were hoping for. 

Weddings are for the bride and groom to show off, not for the guests to attempt to one up them.


----------



## Cletus

zookeeper said:


> You seem ok with judging personal tastes if that happens to be showing off beaver or carrying political protest signs. So is your objection simply where the lines are drawn?


No, let's be clear. I would under no circumstances consider it my duty or right to eject someone from a wedding for her dress. However, there are actual laws against nudity in public, so a dress that crossed an actual legal line is more problematic.


----------



## southbound

Festivus said:


> No, let's be clear. I would under no circumstances consider it my duty or right to eject someone from a wedding for her dress. However, there are actual laws against nudity in public, so a dress that crossed an actual legal line is more problematic.


There are things that don't break the law that are still inappropriate for some occasions. 

There are many people on this site that agree it's not appropriate for a wedding. You seem to not understand that viewpoint at all. I'm sure it's a cultural difference.

Is the concept of there being different cultural norms for how one dresses to show respect at certain events something you have never been exposed to or heard of? I'm with the other poster who wrote that if someone can't respect the norm, they shouldn't disrespect it by violating everyone else and thinking it's their problem if they don't like it, but I guess one has to be aware that certain norms exist in order to accommodate them. 

I'm just asking because I'm just curious about what you are accustomed to.


----------



## Cletus

southbound said:


> There are things that don't break the law that are still inappropriate for some occasions.
> 
> There are many people on this site that agree it's not appropriate for a wedding. You seem to not understand that viewpoint at all. I'm sure it's a cultural difference.


No, I understand it completely. I don't agree in this case and this particular dress, but I have no issue with the notion of considering someone's dress inappropriate for an event. 

Where I really differ with folks here is in the forcible execution of my prejudices on another - as in, I have the right, nay, the obligation, to remove you from my sight and the event if I consider you to have broken my notion of a social norm. Or, short of that, to subject you to public ridicule. 

We're talking about clothing here, not puppy killing. Appropriate response for the offense and all that.


----------



## NextTimeAround

ABHale said:


> Sorry but anyone going to a wedding should conceder the bride. It is the brides day no one else. She should never have worn that dress if it cast a shadow on the bride doing it.
> 
> When my wife and I got married we had a problem with one of the guest. The difference being the girl worn a antique white dress that could have passed for a wedding dress. The solution, I kept my eyes on my beautiful bride and when we were greeting people I skipped her hand and eye contact and went to the next person in line. Then when she past I gave my WIFE now a hug and kiss and simple said I love you. I can still picture the joy and love in my wife's eyes from that day. We talked about it a week or so later, found out then how mad and upset she really was. Also how happy she was with how I handled it.


What's the history of this woman? do you have any idea why she did it? Did you or your wife invite her? Or was she someone's spouse?


----------



## sokillme

30 years from now- "I went naked to a baptism, I don't know why people were bulling me! #DunkInTheTrunk"


----------



## southbound

Festivus said:


> No, I understand it completely. I don't agree in this case and this particular dress, but I have no issue with the notion of considering someone's dress inappropriate for an event.
> 
> Where I really differ with folks here is in the forcible execution of my prejudices on another - as in, I have the right, nay, the obligation, to remove you from my sight and the event if I consider you to have broken my notion of a social norm. Or, short of that, to subject you to public ridicule.
> 
> We're talking about clothing here, not puppy killing. Appropriate response for the offense and all that.


Fair enough. In general, I think the dress was not appropriate as i have stated in previous posts, but then again, I'm visualizing weddings that I have attended. I'll have to agree that I don't agree with the physical bullying of slapping her butt and spilling drinks on her. Who knows the whole story here and what kind of crowd this was. It sounds like they were a bunch of crazies.


----------



## ABHale

NextTimeAround said:


> What's the history of this woman? do you have any idea why she did it? Did you or your wife invite her? Or was she someone's spouse?


Long story, short version. Lose lose for everyone involved. My first gf ended up being my step sister a year or so later. Did not go well, we were both to young to handle the situation we were put into. She ended up moving out and went to live with her dad. Well anyway, neither my wife or myself had seen her for three years. My dad asked us to invite her and we didn't see any harm in it. Well, no real harm done, my wife as always was bright and beautiful and there was some talk about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Personal

Although I don't like that dress because I think the colours and criss-cross pattern doesn't work well aesthetically, I really don't see how the cut of that dress is inappropriate.


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## NextTimeAround

ABHale said:


> Long story, short version. Lose lose for everyone involved. My first gf ended up being my step sister a year or so later. Did not go well, we were both to young to handle the situation we were put into. She ended up moving out and went to live with her dad. Well anyway, neither my wife or myself had seen her for three years. My dad asked us to invite her and we didn't see any harm in it. Well, no real harm done, my wife as always was bright and beautiful and there was some talk about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I see, she was on a mission. You and wife's manoeuvre is going to affect her more profoundly that any words you might have shared with her. Good on you.


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## WorkingWife

southbound said:


> Fair enough. In general, I think the dress was not appropriate as i have stated in previous posts, but then again, I'm visualizing weddings that I have attended. I'll have to agree that I don't agree with the physical bullying of slapping her butt and spilling drinks on her. Who knows the whole story here and what kind of crowd this was. It sounds like they were a bunch of crazies.


Or she's a crazy and made it up to get even more attention...

I think she's actually kind of sad. She is in great shape but she looks desperate in that outfit. She could have totally shown off her hard body equally well in something classy that did not make her look so starved for attention.


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