# Provocative pictures



## Senior Citizen

Ok, men, i need your input. Yesterday I sat down at my partner's computer....actually at his desk looking for something he asked me to look for. I noticed how full his desktop was. He had a lot of pictures of the grandkids which I opened. Then I noticed he had three separate folders marked "untitled". I opened them each up....oh my.......full nude shots of young ladies in very provocative positions. I don't know if these are women he knows or just some you pull of the internet....or some someone sent to him. He once told me that this one guy often sends him nude pictures of women on his phone and he deletes them. Why are these not deleted? Instead he took the time to put them in a folder. I would love to ask him about them......but I know he will be mad because I was snooping......then I think he will just hide them....not delete...just put them where I can't find them. Is this what every man does? I feel like he saves them for a reason.....but why?


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## thunderstruck

He saved those b/c they are his favorites? It sounds like he put no effort into hiding them, so maybe he doesn't see it as a problem.

What exactly is your concern? You're okay with his friend sending him pics, but you just don't want him to save them?


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## Senior Citizen

Im not ok with the friend sending them......his friend is single......why would he think my partner needs them....does he think he is not happy in his relationship? Too me.....it is juvenile behavior.......just don't get it. I certainly don't feel the need to save nude pics of men.


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## Mavash.

My husband's friends send him naked pictures of women and yes he saves them. Men are visual and they like looking at nude pictures. My husband has nude pictures of me too. I don't see what the big deal is. As long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life I'm good with it.


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## ocotillo

Senior Citizen said:


> Im not ok with the friend sending them......his friend is single......why would he think my partner needs them....does he think he is not happy in his relationship? Too me.....it is juvenile behavior.......just don't get it. I certainly don't feel the need to save nude pics of men.


It's fairly typical male behavior judging by how often I stumble on these caches on other people's computers. Men seem to get considerable pleasure from the sight of beautiful things. 

That doesn't make it right though. Some women are horribly upset by this at a gut level. If that's true for you, then you should probably talk to him about it.


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## thunderstruck

Senior Citizen said:


> Im not ok with the friend sending them......his friend is single......why would he think my partner needs them....does he think he is not happy in his relationship? Too me.....it is juvenile behavior.......just don't get it.


Have you told your partner that you don't like it? His friend sending the pics...that probably has zero to do with whether or not he thinks your partner is happy in his relationship. You say you don't get it, but sometimes that's just dumb guy stuff. 

I have married and single friends who send me stuff sometimes. I don't save any of it, b/c I know my W wouldn't like it.


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## Caribbean Man

I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models , my niece who is a fashion model , and even my wife ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.

My wife sees them and she has no problems.

These are NOT nude shots, but women in skimpy apparel or swimsuits.

But if a man's wife has problems with such pics, then he should consider her feelings.


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## Fozzy

My father (in his mid 60's) asked me to help him fix his laptop. He swore he didn't know WHERE that virus came from.

A brief look at his browser history gave me all the answers I needed, and more than I wanted 

I considered giving him a lesson in "incognito mode" and the reasons we should stay away from russian websites, but...meh.


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## Chris Taylor

I like to save pictures of nice motorcycles I see. Sometimes I take them at shows and sometimes I save them off the net. Doesn't mean I have the money nor inclination to trade the one I ride now for one of them.

Guys just like to look.


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## Married but Happy

I'll take a guess. Your user name is Senior Citizen, so I will assume your husband is also. Male testosterone declines after about age 40, and by mid-50's often leads to diminished libido. Looking at naughty pictures can boost testosterone and libido temporarily, so perhaps he uses them to get his motor going so he can make love with you.


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## Senior Citizen

Dear Married but Happy........yes we are both 60ish....but in good shape and not dead yet. If he were using these pics to get his engine going before he made love to me I'd say....why am I not enough? He's not.


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## Mrs. T

Caribbean Man said:


> I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models , my niece who is a fashion model , and even my wife ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.
> 
> My wife sees them and she has no problems.
> 
> These are NOT nude shots, but women in skimpy apparel or swimsuits.
> 
> But if a man's wife has problems with such pics, then he should consider her feelings.


Caribbean Man...If you are sincere in most of your answers here then you are the closet thing to the perfect man that I have ever encountered...


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## DvlsAdvc8

Caribbean Man said:


> I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models , my niece who is a fashion model , and even my wife ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.
> 
> My wife sees them and she has no problems.
> 
> These are NOT nude shots, but women in skimpy apparel or swimsuits.
> 
> But if a man's wife has problems with such pics, then he should consider her feelings.


This. Years ago, I used to have a separate workshop/garage for my bike and tools with walls covered in posters of scantily clad women with motorcycles... "umbrella girls" as they're called in the sport. Pretty much the same as one might have a calendar photo-shoot of cheerleaders for ones favorite football team. Half of my posters were of racers I liked, or past champions in particular classes; historic bikes etc.

One day my ex came in while I was doing some work in there and just casually mentioned how she didn't like the women posters. She just said she hated seeing them all the time.

I pulled them down and threw them out that night. To me they were just casual decoration for my sport bike mecca man cave. They weren't important and I wasn't trying to throw anything up in her face. It was just racers, machines and women... the whole race day atmosphere.


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## Mavash.

Senior Citizen said:


> Dear Married but Happy........yes we are both 60ish....but in good shape and not dead yet. If he were using these pics to get his engine going before he made love to me I'd say....why am I not enough? He's not.


It's not about you. My 47 year old husband is on T shots and it had nothing to do with me not being enough. His T level was at close to dead.

He still likes looking at pictures of naked women...


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## justonelife

It's kind of a slap in the face but as long as he's not having any kind of communication with these women, I wouldn't be bothered by my H looking at pictures of random women. One time, I happened to open up a web browser and now they "helpfully" show the last 5 or 6 websites you visited as a way to easily jump back to something recent. One of the options was a porn site. My husband saw me notice, I made a joke about it and it has never happened again. I'm guessing he just got a little smarter about hiding it but I don't care if he looks every now and then. He loves me, our sex life is great, who cares? I read romance novels, it's not that much different. And even if I spent all day looking at pictures of naked men (which I don't, but I'm just making a point), it wouldn't have any bearing on my love or attraction to my husband. It's just something interesting to look at. So I try to remember that it goes both ways.

I would just ignore it or if it bothers you, ask him to be a bit more discreet about it. If he loves you, he will.


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## Skate Daddy 9

Women are God’s masterpiece. Men do and will always love looking at women. It is just an ugly truth but if it bothers you then you should tell him that it bothers you.


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## Shoto1984

A couple of point that you won't like....  

A. Truth be told men like women and at a base level we view them as sexual. Its the way we are wired.
B. Most men can look at and enjoy women we find attractive and not have it effect our love and affection for thee woman in our life.

Is life good otherwise? If "yes", then let it go and love your man.


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## badcompany

I clearly communicate with my W that I would rather have her anytime and would never touch the keyboard if we got it on 2-3x a week. Doesn't seem to make any difference though.


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## Senior Citizen

Caribbean Man said:


> I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models , my niece who is a fashion model , and even my wife ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.
> 
> My wife sees them and she has no problems.
> 
> These are NOT nude shots, but women in skimpy apparel or swimsuits.
> 
> But if a man's wife has problems with such pics, then he should consider her feelings.


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## Senior Citizen

I agree with Justonelife that it is kind of a slap in the face. Let me make this a little clearer..........these are not pictures of skimpy dressed woman or women in a bathing suit, Caribbean Man. These women are totally nude with their legs spread. Now.....I love to look at nice looking men too....but this is porn to me.


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## 6301

Senior Citizen said:


> Dear Married but Happy........yes we are both 60ish....but in good shape and not dead yet. If he were using these pics to get his engine going before he made love to me I'd say....why am I not enough? He's not.


 Ok. Here's what you do ok? Download pictures of naked men Your choice. As many as you want, and just for the hell of it, look at them and let him see that your looking at them. If he asks why your looking at naked men, your reply should be, "why are you looking at pictures of naked women"? See? Clear as milk. Chances are if you say to him that you'll delete yours if he deletes his, then your even. If not then when you tired of those pictures, delete them and find some fresh stuff. 

Honestly, I don't think he's cheating and you wouldn't be either but what's good for the goose..........ya know? From one senior to another and I'm a guy.


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## justonelife

Senior_Citizen - I just read some of your other threads. This bothers you so much because you are insecure and feeling unloved in your relationship. That changes things, IMO. Your BF was flirting with a 25yo woman and never initiates affection or sex? So it makes sense that finding pictures of naked young women would bother you, you are already insecure enough.

It wouldn't bother me in my relationship because I feel very loved and secure. If I didn't, yeah, it would probably bother me too. 

You need to address the larger issues in your relationship. This has nothing to do with him looking at a few naked women.


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## the guy

Your old man is checking out porn and rubbing one out.
Masturbation can be a great stress reliever. But for me , I just like to do it. Especially if I have a visual aid...it helps me get the job done quicker so I can get back to *important* things like my spouse, family, work and friends.

Unless your old man has an addiction then it a bad thing..cuz then he is more focused on this crap rather then making sure his old lady is getting her needs met.

So my questions...how are things in the marriage? Is this bull crap porn getting in the way of his performance? 

If your man is dropping the ball then speak up, but if its all good then let him have his time at the "museum"


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## Caribbean Man

Mrs. T said:


> Caribbean Man...If you are sincere in most of your answers here then you are the closet thing to the perfect man that I have ever encountered...


lol,
I didn't see your response yesterday.
Thanks for your kind words.
Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder , I guess?

But seriously , I just try to be sincere, fair minded and honest.
Ms. CM does her best to help me be the best I can be.
She's the perfect wife.


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## Mavash.

I haven't read your other posts but it's true if you aren't feeling loved and secure porn is a total threat. If you're the center of his universe these things won't bother you.


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## SimplyAmorous

Mavash. said:


> It's not about you. My 47 year old husband is on T shots and it had nothing to do with me not being enough. His T level was at close to dead.
> 
> He still likes looking at pictures of naked women...


Same here, but his T levels are not dead yet...but by no means is my husband a high test guy....he's been looking, saving, hard drive filling naked pictures of beautiful women/Playboy bunnies since he got his hands on the internet.. .and we have a very fulfilling marriage...and sex life... he has always saved every release for me...

He just likes a little visual variety once in a while ...he's a guy...I'd rather us be open about it -over his hiding it... Back in the day....I used to get a bit bent out of shape ...it's the only thing he struggled to put down- at my wishes..but he treated me so good, even then it was not that big of a deal....

I figure...the day he looses this interest, is the day I'll be sending him to the Doc for Testosterone treatment.


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## FemBot

I wouldn't be ok with this and I feel loved in my relationship. I think that looking at other women naked is a sure fire way to ruin a sex life. Chances are the OP is not going to want to have sex with her husband or get naked for him for fear he's comparing her to a 25 yr old ( which lets face it he's doing because why the f**k would he be looking?). Way to go husband you just ruined your sex life! Thumbs up.

I am suspecting that any man who doesn't do this is not responding in this thread. OP i think this is much rarer than is being portrayed here. I would encourage you to talk to your husband especially with the other issues. It sounds like he has invited other naked women into his mind and now his mind is focused on that. Men say it doesn't affect feelings about there wives but it 100% does. If I was looking at nude pics of men with giant erections you can bet I'm comparing them to my husband and suddenly I'm feeling less aroused by him. It's just a natural progression.


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## FemBot

Skate Daddy 9 said:


> Women are God’s masterpiece. Men do and will always love looking at women. It is just an ugly truth but if it bothers you then you should tell him that it bothers you.


Lets be clear though, you aren't talking about "women" you are talking about airbrushed images of perfection. Even artful masterpieces aren't perfect or held up to the scrutiny women are.


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## Maricha75

Caribbean Man said:


> I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models ,* my niece who is a fashion model* , and even my wife ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.
> 
> My wife sees them and she has no problems.
> 
> These are NOT nude shots, but women in skimpy apparel or swimsuits.
> 
> But if a man's wife has problems with such pics, then he should consider her feelings.


Sorry, this is one thing that weirds me out. Your niece? That's.... creepy... IMO. I don't care if my niece were a fashion model or some other type of celebrity. If my husband had provocative pictures of her on his computer, that would not be ok with me. That's family, man. Especially if it's flesh and blood. And that's nude OR skimpy clothing. If my husband had a "collection" of provocative pictures which included our niece? Yuck. That would be like my BIL having pictures of my daughter in such a "collection"... I don't see how anyone could gloss over that... that's just... weird.


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## DvlsAdvc8

FemBot said:


> Lets be clear though, you aren't talking about "women" you are talking about airbrushed images of perfection. Even artful masterpieces aren't perfect or held up to the scrutiny women are.


Not all of us like the airbrush. There are a lot of us who aren't into the magazine cover. I like a woman to be smaller than me yes, but I don't like large breasts (B-cups are ideal to me) and I certainly don't like photo shopped "perfection" or wearing excessive makeup.

Women I like look great even when sweaty and tired from a good run when all the "fake" and "beauty techniques" are out the window.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Maricha75 said:


> Sorry, this is one thing that weirds me out. Your niece? That's.... creepy... IMO. I don't care if my niece were a fashion model or some other type of celebrity. If my husband had provocative pictures of her on his computer, that would not be ok with me. That's family, man. Especially if it's flesh and blood. And that's nude OR skimpy clothing. If my husband had a "collection" of provocative pictures which included our niece? Yuck. That would be like my BIL having pictures of my daughter in such a "collection"... I don't see how anyone could gloss over that... that's just... weird.


My sister is an actress and I have a number of her "provocative" pics from various photo shoots on my computer (not nudes, but neither are CMs). Its really not any different from having pics of your son playing baseball. This is family; This is what they do, they're proud of it and you're proud of them. She sends such pics pretty regularly, just as I send her pics when I do trackdays (there's usually a few professional photographers present getting shots from various corners of the track).

There's not a sexual component to it.


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## Maricha75

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> My sister is an actress and I have a number of her "provocative" pics from various photo shoots on my computer (not nudes, but neither are CMs). *Its really not any different from having pics of your son playing baseball.* This is family; This is what they do, they're proud of it and you're proud of them. She sends such pics pretty regularly, just as I send her pics when I do trackdays (there's usually a few professional photographers present getting shots from various corners of the track).
> 
> There's not a sexual component to it.


That's your opinion. Which you are, of course, entitled to have. I just find it weird, and even creepy, to have provocative photos of family, no matter what their professions. I'm not talking about nudes, either. I mean skimpy clothing as well. Each to his own, i guess. But skimpy clothes =/= a baseball uniform.


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## Mavash.

Maricha75 said:


> Sorry, this is one thing that weirds me out. Your niece? That's.... creepy... IMO. I don't care if my niece were a fashion model or some other type of celebrity. If my husband had provocative pictures of her on his computer, that would not be ok with me. That's family, man. Especially if it's flesh and blood. And that's nude OR skimpy clothing. If my husband had a "collection" of provocative pictures which included our niece? Yuck. That would be like my BIL having pictures of my daughter in such a "collection"... I don't see how anyone could gloss over that... that's just... weird.


CM said he had pictures of his family he didn't say they were included in a "collection" of provocative pictures.

Context is key.

Having a picture of your gorgeous niece that she willingly sent you isn't about sex. Ewwww....it's family.

I've sent pictures of my 10 year old beautiful daughter to family wearing a swimsuit. It's cute not sexy. :scratchhead:


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## Maricha75

Mavash. said:


> CM said he had pictures of his family he didn't say they were included in a "collection" of provocative pictures.
> 
> *Context is key*.


Very true...


Caribbean Man said:


> *I too have a few " provocative " pictures of fitness models , my niece who is a fashion model , and even my wife* ,[ lol, she bought me this laptop so most of the pics on it are of her!] on my laptop as screen savers.


Fitness models, his niece, and his wife. Yea, clearly the fitness models are part of his family as well, right? It wasn't stated as such. Context is key, after all....


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## Skate Daddy 9

FemBot said:


> Lets be clear though, you aren't talking about "women" you are talking about airbrushed images of perfection. Even artful masterpieces aren't perfect or held up to the scrutiny women are.


I am talking about real women not the garbage you see in magazines or in Hollywood.


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## Caribbean Man

Mavash. said:


> CM said he had pictures of his family he didn't say they were included in a "collection" of provocative pictures.
> 
> Context is key.
> 
> Having a picture of your gorgeous niece that she willingly sent you isn't about sex. Ewwww....it's family.
> 
> I've sent pictures of my 10 year old beautiful daughter to family wearing a swimsuit. It's cute not sexy. :scratchhead:



My niece is a 24 yr old professional model, who I PERSONALLY COACHED and mentored and got her into the fashion business.
I am VERY proud of her accomplishments in life.
She usually sends pics from her photoshoots to me for my wife & I to vet and select which pics of her we think would look best on a billboard , magazine cover, advertistment or whatever contract she has.

I also have posted pics of her right here on TAM, and pics of my wife.

So how is that creepy?


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## Maricha75

Caribbean Man said:


> So how is that creepy?


As I said...each to his own. Getting professional opinions on pics from a photo shoot is one thing. Using those pics as a screensaver or background on the computer is another.

Having pictures of a 10, or even 12 year old niece in a cute swimsuit is one thing... a 24 year old is not dressing "cute" unless she is trying to pass as a kid. 

JMO, that's all.


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## olwhatsisname

Mavash. said:


> It's not about you. My 47 year old husband is on T shots and it had nothing to do with me not being enough. His T level was at close to dead.
> 
> He still likes looking at pictures of naked women...


== all together now. HE,they are normal men, just normal men period. women want to be #1.let them know they are dayley so you don't see your story here..


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## Caribbean Man

Maricha75 said:


> As I said...each to his own. Getting professional opinions on pics from a photo shoot is one thing. Using those pics as a screensaver or background on the computer is another.
> 
> Having pictures of a 10, or even 12 year old niece in a cute swimsuit is one thing... a 24 year old is not dressing "cute" unless she is trying to pass as a kid.
> 
> JMO, that's all.


Well thanks very much for your opinion!
BTW,
Here's a little sample;







Here's the link to the page on TAM I posted them.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/social...ent-pic-yourself-ones-you-care-about-122.html

Should I remove them from my computer because it makes me look " creepy?"


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## ASummersDay

I love the photo of your niece in the white dress. She looks very confident and powerful.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I was initially a little thrown off by the wording of your post, CM. It did seem to me like you were lumping your niece in with the type of provocative photos the OP's husband saves. BUT - now that you've clarified, I realize I misinterpreted your post. You were simply saying that some of the photos you have of your niece could be considered provocative in an objective sense. I don't think you're creepy anymore.


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## Maricha75

Caribbean Man said:


> Well thanks very much for your opinion!
> 
> Should I remove them from my computer because it makes me look " creepy?"


Hey, I'm just speaking my personal opinion. You do whatever you like with your own computer. Not my problem, one way or the other. But it would be creepy, to me, if my husband had pictures of our niece like the last one you posted, saved on his computer...or if BIL had ones like that of my daughter.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Maricha75 said:


> That's your opinion. Which you are, of course, entitled to have. I just find it weird, and even creepy, to have provocative photos of family, no matter what their professions. I'm not talking about nudes, either. I mean skimpy clothing as well. Each to his own, i guess. But skimpy clothes =/= a baseball uniform.


Okay... change baseball uniform to the suits worn by swim teams (the males even skimpier than the females); or ballet unitards; or the body tight things that gymnasts wear; or a pic of your daughter cheerleading, at the height of being thrown in the air and doing the splits.

These aren't provocative to you when they're family (unless there is something seriously wrong with someone). You wouldn't think twice about the fact that you have a pic of your son's body building competition would you? Same thing the way I see it. 

I think with CMs having pics of models etc, you have to know the context that he's in or was in the fashion business. I didn't get any sense that this is a collection of pics of women that he keeps to get his jollies from.


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## ScarletBegonias

Beautiful pics.I'd be weirded out if my partner had those on his phone or ipod though.
If they were saved on our computer in our iphoto folders it would be normal to me bc that's where all of our family pics are saved.But if he was posting them online or keeping them on his personal devices I'd feel awkward about it.
That's just me though,I went through some heavy childhood things so it colors my view of what most consider innocent.


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## Maricha75

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Okay... change baseball uniform to the suits worn by swim teams; or ballet unitards; or the body tight things that gymnasts wear; or a pic of your daughter cheerleading, at the height of being thrown in the air and doing the splits.
> 
> These aren't provocative to you when they're family (unless there is something seriously wrong with someone). You wouldn't think twice about the fact that you have a pic of your son's body building competition would you? Same thing the way I see it.


Do you use them as screensavers?


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat

I am sorry this has caused you such heartache. It sounds like this has really hurt you. When my wife discovered pictures similar to the ones you found she had a strong emotional reaction. Having a brother and many male friends and coworkers over the years she understood that it was fairly common for men…but, it hurt her nonetheless when it came to me. For most men it is surprising to hear that women are surprised by this behavior just as many of us see it as a fairly (if not almost universally common) and benign thing. To be clear I get why women may object….still..Many men don’t necessarily see this as a marital violation and many women will think quite the opposite. It is not my place or anyone else’s to try to tell you how you should or should not feel about this. There is some good news and bad (or perhaps more shocking to you) news: 
First the good news.. if you can somehow get your head around the idea:
1) It likely has absolutely NO bearing on how your H feels about you. I would literally jump in front of a train for my wife and I still have the desire to look at naked women. No matter how beautiful/attracted to you he is, it would not change his desire to do this. To me the female body is one of the most beautiful things to look at. The only reason a man would not want to do this is because a) He has been brought up to think it is wrong/dirty or b) he does not want to hurt you or make you mad. 
2) It does not mean he wants to be with anyone other than you (including the women he has pictures of). Men compartmentalize sex, feelings and body parts. In a way that women may never appreciate the images they oogle are nothing more than images of compilation of boobs, butts and faces. 
3) It does not mean that he thinks of these women or fantasizes about them when he is with you or when he is not in front of his computer. (see number 2)
This very topic is one of the top sources of differences between spouses in many marriages. For whatever it is worth all of the men I know and am friends with look at porn (or naked women). I did have a friend who openly admitted to NOT doing this sort of thing but, this is the only man I have ever known personally that was like this. To let you know how commonly accepted it is within the male community (or within my circle) is that I get pictures like this from my wife’s dad and brother. I make the joke that “they should not do this…as my wife objects…” they laugh. 
The bad news or at the very least the whole truth is…if you want to know or can handle it is that he not only likes to look but most likely (if he is like the most of us) to create arousal and that is part of the attraction to it. I personally us it to arouse myself while a masturbate. 
If you go to the “advanced search function” while logged into this site you can search keywords. I would suggest “porn” or “naked pictures” (and select) “in the title of the thread”. This will illustrate the thoughts most women and most men have on the topic and how it is largely gender biased. You may even not get allot of response to your thread because of the nature of this topic being so over represented on this forum. 

Again, I say with all sincerity that I feel for you and the pain it causes. It was a real kick in the gut for my wife to learn of this and seemed to undermine how she thought I saw her. It really rocked her. Mostly because she saw it as a signal that she “was somehow not good enough” and that I was keeping if from her. It is something I have tried to explain. Most of us keep it our “dirty little secret” because we know deep down it will hurt you. You find that reactions will range from men to somehow assume that it is their private business (and none of their wive’s) to…to some women’s perspective that it is cheating and everything in between. 

As other’s have said your other post (where your hubby was rude to you while flirting with a young women was indicative of a man who does not respect you in general. To me a bigger problem then if he looks at nudie pictures.


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## Maricha75

ScarletBegonias said:


> Beautiful pics.I'd be weirded out if my partner had those on his phone or ipod though.
> If they were saved on our computer in our iphoto folders it would be normal to me bc that's where all of our family pics are saved.But if he was posting them online or keeping them on his personal devices I'd feel awkward about it.
> That's just me though,I went through some heavy childhood things so it colors my view of what most consider innocent.


Agreed. My 12 year old niece is very pretty. I could see having pics of her in a family album. That's a given. But I do know that, if she were to pose for pictures like the above posted, they would be questionable. She looks older than 12. And using those pics as a screensaver, with or without other family members, would be odd, IMO. Same with our daughter. Even if we have pics of our own kids in ballet unitards/tutus or swim trunks or whatever other clothing you can come up with... such things would be private, family albums... not backgrounds/screensavers. JMO


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## DvlsAdvc8

Maricha75 said:


> Do you use them as screensavers?


Since my sisters pics are with all my other family pics and my screen saver runs through the whole parent folder.... yes, actually. I don't see anything creepy about it. There's my sister being her fabulous self.


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## Mavash.

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Since my sisters pics are with all my other family pics and my screen saver runs through the whole parent folder.... yes, actually. I don't see anything creepy about it. There's my sister being her fabulous self.


Same here. My screensaver is every picture on my computer.

It's not creepy its just family and friends.


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## Caribbean Man

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion,
Yes. 
Wanna hear something even creepier?

I send pics of my niece to advertising companies who are just looking for a face or a body to put in an advert to market a product.
Yes, I seek out advertising contracts for her.
lol,
I guess that could be interpreted as me pimping her?
No.
She gets the money.

If I personally didn't manage her when she entered this business, some other man would have been literally pimping her, because in that business girls have to have sex with lecherous old men just to get a chance of photoshoot, every girl wants to be a star...
I was once into that business, so I know.
All I do is use my contacts, help her get ahead..
That doesn't seem creepy, at least, _to me._
My business is fashion & apparel , I have said it countless times on TAM. 
Everyone can interpret anything to mean what they want it to mean. What is important is to first try an get what is being said.

I also have pics of my next door neighbour's son who's also a fashion model ,washboard abs ,topless in briefs only , on the beach.
He's also a fitness enthusiast .
Some may say it's provocative , and I think it can be viewed like that. But it does NOT turn me on sexually. I am not gay or bi.
[ By the way he is bisexual]
And he's just 19 yrs old. My wife thinks he looks good.
I don't think that makes her * creepy * or wayward or anything like that. I don't think she's
perving over his pics.

My younger nephew is just 17 yrs old , works out at the gym with my wife and I and my wife thinks that he has a hot body. I also think so too. He's a football player. I have pics of him on my screensaver , posing topless. 
Does that make my wife creepy because she thinks he's a hottie?

Also these pics are not in any folder called " family pics," those are on my wife's external hard drive. These are professionally done pics.

BTW,
Every single pic I have stored in " my computer" appears as a screen saver.
I have no " secret files" on my computer ,iphone, ipad , or anywhere.

My wife has access to everything on my computer and I have access to everything on hers. All our computers are on one network.


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## Caribbean Man

Mavash. said:


> Same here. My screensaver is every picture on my computer.


Same here.


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## Caribbean Man

Maricha75 said:


> But it would be creepy, to me, if my husband had pictures of our niece like the last one you posted, saved on his computer...or if BIL had ones like that of my daughter.


Ooooook......

Ps, I also have some of her in two piece bathsuits. One in Hawaiian costume, that I have posted here on TAM.


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## Maricha75

19 year old neighbor boy... wife thinks he looks hot. Why would I think that's creepy? I think plenty of younger men have nice bodies. But I don't judge my own flesh and blood in that manner. That's the part that seems weird TO ME. You don't have to agree with me. But it doesn't make YOUR opinion any more right than MINE.


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## Caribbean Man

Maricha75 said:


> 19 year old neighbor boy... wife thinks he looks hot. Why would I think that's creepy? I think plenty of younger men have nice bodies. But I don't judge my own flesh and blood in that manner. That's the part that seems weird TO ME. You don't have to agree with me. But it doesn't make YOUR opinion any more right than MINE.



....but if I had pics of the 19 year old neighbour girl and thought she looked hot that would have made me a creep too?
Yes?
lol.
Excuse me,
But I'm good with my dear 24 yr old niece pics.
I doesn't weird out my wife.
It doesn't weird out her dad.
It doesn't weird any of our family, because she's a professional model.

It doesn't matter TO ME if her pics are on my computer or on a magazine cover that I have at home, [ and I do have magazines with her pics on it],a 30 second television advert clip [ which I also have copies of ] or on a highway billboard.

She's my niece , and I love her, I support her and I can tell the difference between love for family members and lust for a hot body.


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## richie33

If his niece was a famous actress would that be creepy also?
He explained his line of work....in the fashion, fitness model business. Why would helping a family member who is in the same industry be considered creepy?


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## Wiserforit

Maricha75 said:


> think plenty of younger men have nice bodies.


That's creepy. Thinking about all these younger men's bodies. You should be ashamed of yourself. And it is a slap in the face to your husband. 

See how easy that is? I read an article a while back that indicated the number one shaming put-down on the internet was insinuating pedophelia. Never _saying_ it of course, but rather just sticking in words like "barely legal" or "younger" or "teen" or any number of other iterations. Pedophelia is of course the arousal from pre-pubescent children and not 18 year old centerfolds at the very peak of their sexual attractiveness.

So it is important not to SAY pedophilia because then the power is lost by virtue of not being true. You have to keep it at the level of insinuation to protect what amounts to a lie. 

In your case you're taking advantage of an incest insinuation. Just as with pedophelia, you have not used the word incest, and if you did it would immediately be shot down for how ridiculous it is. Generally the point of doing this is just to put the other person on the defensive. Because that makes you the alpha with the accusation, and them the beta by defending. The more they beg you to please give them your understanding, the more power you exercised. 

OP, this is the oldest insecurity women have, and you've already scored on the hypocrisy meter by saying you like pictures of handsom men. Isn't your husband good enough for you? That's a slap in the face to your husband. 

So long as it isn't interfering in his sex life with you, why not let him enjoy himself? Does he pull romance novels out of your hands or switch off the TV when there is a handsom man on there? Mine goes out and finds great pornography for me and emails the pics to me. 

She was initially very jealous, but then she discovered that this was actually another way to empower herself in turning me on. The key there is that she is in control, whereas discovering a secret cache makes it more of an infidelity.


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## Maricha75

Dude, the way it was stated in the first place, to me, came off as CREEPY. She was put in with fitness models and wife, and they were described as provocative. That is what comes across as creepy to me. Has nothing to do with the fact that she is a model and you, CM, have helped her in her career. It has everything to do with how it was presented in the beginning. You clarified that you help her in her career.... fine, whatever. It still doesn't change that the ORIGINAL way it was presented sounded creepy. It doesn't matter TO ME if you have magazines where she is on the cover or ad clips, etc. It was the original presentation that was creepy. Fine. You have no problem with it. Your wife has no problem with it. You're only helping her career. Knock yourself out. My only point is that provocative pics of my niece on my husband's computer would be creepy... get that... provocative pics of MY NIECE on MY husband's computer. No need to keep defending yourself.


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## Wiserforit

Maricha75 said:


> Dude, the way it was stated in the first place, to me, came off as CREEPY. She was put in with fitness models and wife, and they were described as provocative. That is what comes across as creepy to me. Has nothing to do with the fact that she is a model and you, CM, have helped her in her career. It has everything to do with how it was presented in the beginning. You clarified that you help her in her career.... fine, whatever. It still doesn't change that the ORIGINAL way it was presented sounded creepy. It doesn't matter TO ME if you have magazines where she is on the cover or ad clips, etc. It was the original presentation that was creepy. Fine. You have no problem with it. Your wife has no problem with it. You're only helping her career. Knock yourself out. My only point is that provocative pics of my niece on my husband's computer would be creepy... get that... provocative pics of MY NIECE on MY husband's computer. No need to keep defending yourself.


And this is always the way this little power-play works when the attacker finds themselves on the defensive. 

The attacker blames the target for defending themselves. Hey - stop defending yourself! What's wrong with you? I already put you on the defensive and made you explain, but that was the only thing I wanted to do. I didn't mean for you to put ME on the defensive! 

That's why you see the emotional level bumped up here. Because when you expect to be the alpha and you become the beta, it is upsetting. 


Nothing personal here *Maricha75*. It's amazing how many people work this little play.


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## FemBot

I think Maricha75 originally thought the pics of his niece were provocative. The pics Caribbean Man posted are not provocative in any way shape or form IMO. Sexy? sure but not provacative. If the pics had been provocative (bent over in a thong, breasts pushed together while licking a lollipop for some lame examples) then it would have been creepy.


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## Blondilocks

Back to the original post...

Senior Citizen, your partner treats you like a roommate. Stop expecting anything else from him and move on with your life.

DvlsAdvc8, you are an admirable man. Women may claim they're ok with their husbands salivating over other women but they would be secretly thrilled if they were treated with as much love and respect as you displayed to your wife. 

And, make no mistake about it, looking at images of naked people other than your spouse is disrespectful to your spouse. One can play the 'visual' card, one can play the 'easier' card, one can play the 'boys will be boys' card but, they are all the same card - the joker.


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## Wiserforit

FemBot said:


> I think Maricha75 originally thought the pics of his niece were provocative. The pics Caribbean Man posted are not provocative in any way shape or form IMO. Sexy? sure but not provacative. If the pics had been provocative (bent over in a thong, breasts pushed together while licking a lollipop for some lame examples) then it would have been creepy.


Nope.

It is instead a situation precisely suited to this alpha-play because it has _plausible deniability_. 

I'm not really going out of my way with this creepy incest insinuation because, for example, it's a thread about porn and he has pictures of his neice. Porn pictures + niece = creepy incest.

The accuser knows they are going to back down after they have made the target defend themselves, and roll out their plausible deniability excuse. In the process they score points for being against incest or pedophelia or whatever it is. 

Sometimes you also see them pretending that you have misunderstood their use of the word "creepy". It isn't anywhere near the negative connotation that everyone knows it means in the context it was just used, namely incest.


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## Maricha75

FemBot said:


> I think Maricha75 originally thought the pics of his niece were provocative. The pics Caribbean Man posted are not provocative in any way shape or form IMO. Sexy? sure but not provacative. If the pics had been provocative (bent over in a thong, breasts pushed together while licking a lollipop for some lame examples) then it would have been creepy.


That was the initial thought when I read his first post in this thread. The pictures posted above, I wouldn't consider to be provocative. However, I still maintain that the last one would be weird for me... I could just as easily picture my 12 year old niece posing like that... which is why it seems...weird... to me.

And no, Wiseforit, there was no implication of pedophilia in my replies. That would be only if she were under age, which she is not....and IF the photos were truly provocative. 

As far as the age thing, and saying it's "creepy that _ find younger men attractive"...it's really no different than a 50 year old man marrying a 20 year old woman. I may think it weird... but it's not my life to live... not my call. But some think I'm weird for marrying a man 6 years younger than I. _


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## ocotillo

One thing I think that should be kept in mind about CM is the warmth of his climate.

I live in a very warm climate and there is nothing unusual about a young lady wearing a swimsuit all day long, even to the grocery store or drug store. (With a sarong) It's not big deal if that's what you're used to seeing.


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## Raven1983

Wow...just...wow...I would also have a problem with both of my BIL having a pic of my daughter dressed the way that CM's niece was on their computer...Just no...I have to agree with Maricha75


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## richie33

Since CM career seems to be in fitness models, I assume men and women. His neice pictures, being a fitness model is sort of like her resume. I would make since he would help her out and have her pictures. There is nothing creepy or weird about it. He explained himself, to bad some jumped to the wrong conclusion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theseus

justonelife said:


> It's kind of a slap in the face but as long as he's not having any kind of communication with these women, I wouldn't be bothered by my H looking at pictures of random women.



Getting back on topic from the massive thread hijack, Justonelife I agree with all else you said, but it's not a "slap in the face". 

Women's magazines (like Cosmo) also have plenty of pics of nude and/or scantily clad women. In fact, so does our local art museum.


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## Theseus

FemBot said:


> I wouldn't be ok with this and I feel loved in my relationship. I think that looking at other women naked is a sure fire way to ruin a sex life. Chances are the OP is not going to want to have sex with her husband or get naked for him for fear he's comparing her to a 25 yr old ( which lets face it he's doing because why the f**k would he be looking?).


Isn't that also true of women who read romance novels? Shouldn't their husbands be concerned that their wives are now comparing them to the trim, young, long haired, dashing men on the book covers?




> Way to go husband you just ruined your sex life! Thumbs up.



Way to go Fembot! Your plan, if carried out, will ruin the husband's fantasy life, and both partner's sex lives. 



> If I was looking at nude pics of men with giant erections you can bet I'm comparing them to my husband and suddenly I'm feeling less aroused by him. It's just a natural progression.


You are not the OP's husband. People are aroused in different ways. Not everyone is wired the same way *you* are.


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## Mr Blunt

Senior Citizen

In a loving manner tell your husband that those pictures have hurt you. *Tell him that you know that most men enjoy looking at porn but that you want him to sacrifice his viewing porn pleasure so that your feelings are not hurt. Also, tell him that you are willing to do some things that would get his motor fired up more if that is what he wants.*

I am a man I sure do get sparked by a naked woman but I will sacrifice that pleasure if it hurts my wife. Your husband should take actions to stop hurting you and you should take actions to get his sexual motor running a bit faster if that is what he needs.


Blunt


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## Caribbean Man

Senior Citizen,

I apologize for hijacking your thread .
Based on your response to my first post on your thread , I know you understood the context of my post.
You iterated that the pics on your husband's " secret file " on his computer were nude shots of women with their legs apart .

I think you are well within your right to express exactly how you feel to your husband , and expect that he should at least consider your feelings.
Marriage is a partnership.
I have no hangups against porn , but my wife does. So we only view it together. In any event , we have an active , fulfilling sex life so I don't need it. But that is what works for us.

I don't know if there are other relationship issues between you and your husband , issues like these are sometimes indicators of other things. 
But like I said in my first post , he should give serious consideration to your misgivings on this issue , especially since you feel offended.


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## FemBot

Theseus said:


> Isn't that also true of women who read romance novels? Shouldn't their husbands be concerned that their wives are now comparing them to the trim, young, long haired, dashing men on the book covers?


I don't read romance novels. I feel aroused by my husband and our sex life. If the OP were a man and the wife was reading romance novels I would have the exact same response.



> Way to go Fembot! Your plan, if carried out, will ruin the husband's fantasy life, and both partner's sex lives.


Hmmm last time I checked fantasy can exist without naked pics of random women that may hurt your wife.



> You are not the OP's husband. People are aroused in different ways. Not everyone is wired the same way *you* are.


People are aroused in different ways so to say that ALL men do this is a fallacy. I have read articles on this very subject written by men that have said looking at naked women other than their wives does cause issues with finding their own wives desirable. "Every Mans Battle" being one example. I don't just pull this info out of my butt 

Sorry OP for hijacking!


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## ocotillo

FemBot said:


> People are aroused in different ways so to say that ALL men do this is a fallacy.


I agree that it would be an inductive fallacy to say that all men do this. Certainly they don't. On the other hand though, it would be an ecological fallacy to infer on this basis that the nature of their arousal is 'different' and doesn't revolve around imagery just as with most other men.


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## Shoto1984

I responded with the title of the thread in mind "Provocative pictures". With that title I was not imagining gynecological exploration. That said, it does make me think about the continuum of Provocative to Porn and the feelings about the different stops along the way. Fully clothed but posed in a suggestive way....a normal bikini....underwear...a barely there bikini....topless....fully nude...etc


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## DvlsAdvc8

Shoto1984 said:


> I responded with the title of the thread in mind "Provocative pictures". With that title I was not imagining gynecological exploration. That said, it does make me think about the continuum of Provocative to Porn and the feelings about the different stops along the way. Fully clothed but posed in a suggestive way....a normal bikini....underwear...a barely there bikini....topless....fully nude...etc


I imagine it depends on the purpose more than the content.

World War Two bombers had some pretty suggestive pinups painted on them... particularly for that time. I wouldn't think of these these as porn. I imagine they did pretty well to help alleviate war stress... visual comfort food. Yet the same depiction in a men's magazine or whatever the precursor to Playboy was, I'd consider porn by the standards of the day.

There are even some photos intended as porn, that as far as I'm concerned are photographic art in every sense. I consider some of these outright tasteful, and my feeling is more one of "wow, beautiful" than lustful. Take Victorias Secret photos... for some reason they don't trigger lust in me. They trigger more of an awe... like anything particularly beautiful. For others, a VS catalog may be outright pornographic.

But unless someone is depicted in a sexual act, I think the line can be quite gray.


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## Theseus

FemBot said:


> Hmmm last time I checked fantasy can exist without naked pics of random women that may hurt your wife.


Fantasy can exist without a lot of things, but if a man eliminates everything that "may" hurt his wife without instead addressing the issues for her insecurity, then she's just going to find something else to get hurt about.




> People are aroused in different ways so to say that ALL men do this is a fallacy.


I never said that "ALL" men do this. But the OP's husband does, and that is the point. I already know it's easy for you to eliminate things from your life if they aren't part of your own fantasy life. For example, as a heterosexual it certainly would be easy for me to ban all gay porn in the world, but that would be insensitive, since not everyone has the same preferences I do.


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## Caribbean Man

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I imagine it depends on the purpose more than the content.
> 
> *There are even some photos intended as porn, that as far as I'm concerned are photographic art in every sense.* I consider some of these outright tasteful, and my feeling is more one of "wow, beautiful" than lustful. Take Victorias Secret photos... for some reason they don't trigger lust in me. They trigger more of an awe... like anything particularly beautiful. For others, a VS catalog may be outright pornographic.
> 
> But unless someone is depicted in a sexual act, I think the line can be quite gray.


I agree.
Another example would be pin up art , and magna art. I don't consider them to be porn unless they are depicting sexual acts . IMO they are can be considered a bit provocative but they don't ignite raw lust in me. 
When I was 11 yrs old I was learning to sketch ans paint nude female form in art classes.[ Art is a natural talent I possess ] At 11 yrs old I knew the difference between a sensual depiction of that form and natural / neutral depiction.
It helped quite a lot that my art teacher was also , female.

But different people have different tolerance levels and sensibilities.
On one end of the spectrum some are easily aroused / offended by it, on the other end, others take it at it's intended purpose and face value, just art.

Yes, even the simplest depiction of the female form can be arousing to some people. A head shot of a woman with a sultry or sensual smile can be arousing to some because there is a covert connection to something sexual, which triggers a sexual response them. 

However, I am not one of them, and I am in full control of my faculties. I am responsible for how I think,act and respond to any external stimuli.


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