# Trying to figure it out???



## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

I filed over 1 1/2 years ago and have been trying to analyze what he did and what I did. The problem I am having is that he is hooked on prescription meds so a lot of the stuff he did makes no sense. There is no logic to it. I know he did a lot of blame shifting, but it is very difficult to analyze my part in all this when most of the time I feel I was reacting to a crazy person who had little to no grasp of reality.

Unfortunately, I am not in a position that I can afford counseling, so I am trying to figure it out on my own.

Several years before we split, we had done some MC and IC. But the therapist finally told me that insurance would only pay for so many visits and that I seemed to be pretty well grounded and she felt I did not need her help so would I give up my visits so he could see her more. (She billed half his visits as if it was me.)

Does this make sense? Anyone else dealing with someone on drugs?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is he taking the drugs according to doctor's orders? Or he is getting the drugs illegally?

A marriage cannot be fixed until the addiction is handled. The reason is that for an addict, the drugs take precedence over all things. Also, drugs used improperly cause the user to behave in ways that they would not behave if sober for a long time.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Elegirl, he is a perfectly legal, doctor sanctioned drug addict. I have lived with this man for almost 14 years and known him for over 35 years. And I have seen what the drugs have done to him. It has cost him his job, his marriage, and his friends. The only thing he has left is part of his family, but not sure how long that will last now that they have to deal with him (since our separation).

Anyway, this thread is not about his addiction, that is his problem. Our marriage is over, no chance of reconciliation.

What I am looking for help with is how to analyze my part in the failure of our marriage when I was dealing with someone who was/is irrational and somewhat delusional. I don't know if he knows when he is lying or if he is so delusional that he believes his lies.


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