# Still angry...



## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

I just need to continue to vent 5 months out. I am so angry about what was taken away from me and the children...A nuclear family that I wanted to see them grow up in. They are very sad that we are no longer married.
I get questions all the time about, Did Mom have an affair? Did she cheat on you? They are almost teenagers and they know what is going on.
I have no idea how to answer. I do not put her down and make sure to tell them that she loves them. But deep down I still have so much anger and hatred.
What I had I will never have again, that's what hurts the most.
I guess that along with the complete lost of trust that I had given myself completely and was totally shredded!

I have no desire to date, can't see myself trusting another woman and overall am just tired. Life deals you things that can be so difficult to get through.

Yes it is easy to say "it is what it is" and "I just have to get through it" but they are just words and not what I feel.


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## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Ohhh I feel exactly the same and I feel that months from now i will still be in the same spot.
I am angry,but I'm sad as well.....I know this is not going to go away for a long time.Can't see myself with another person...especially with my young kids.he Has destroyed the American dream life for my children,their education, vacations,seeing Mom and Dad in love and learn from us.I have girls so I hate the fact that I wont be able to trust another male around them without my presence.
And yeah the way he cheated on me ,i don't think I can ever trust another male as well.I believed so much in him,he was the one always preaching against divorce,separation etc....always looking at me like I'm the only woman in the world.....and now I find out that he has been lying ...that he is capable of the lowest form of cheating and capable of leaving his whole family without a single regret....HOW is that possible !

Helpplease...don't know your story but just want to offer hugs to you as i know exactly how you feel,some of us are more sensitive than others or have been hurt more than others and it's just hard to get over it just like that.I want to let him go and not ever think about him but I can't. Nothing helps to get him out of my head and the way he cheated ,betrayed and destroyed our lives.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I am also still angry,sad, or combination of both. I do have my up days too sometimes. Trusting another men has gone out of the window. Just like you too I could not picture myself dating anyone now. Heck I have a 2 year old child I barely get time to eat. And we all know the stigma attached to single moms with young kids. The whole world thinks you are looking for financial support even though that is not the case with me. 

Just like you too the destruction of my family, the fact that my son will never know what is like to have Xmas with Mom and Dad together, what is like to go on vacation, what is like to love one another and learn from us.... and much more.
I really hope I am in a better place SOON!


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## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

vivea,
Yes it sounds as though you are dealing with the same emotions as me. Sadness is another one that happens. I just run in cycles. Some days good, then go down hill. Exercise has been my only outlet and I have used that to gain the only positive that I can. 
I also feel the same way with vacations, holidays will come soon, and any function that should have been shared with their Mom and Dad together as a traditional family.
Idk, I am hoping that it will get better. Seems like it should based on what everyone is saying.
Thanks for posting, it helps.


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## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

notreadytoquit said:


> I am also still angry,sad, or combination of both. I do have my up days too sometimes. *These cycles just drive me crazy. I don't really know what the triggers are but it just kicks in. Then I know I better go do some physical activity* Trusting another men has gone out of the window. Just like you too I could not picture myself dating anyone now. Heck I have a 2 year old child I barely get time to eat. *Mine are older but so busy with their lives, very hard at times. I can feel what you feel. Those early years are so busy and stressful at times. I can only imagine how hard it is for you* And we all know the stigma attached to single moms with young kids. The whole world thinks you are looking for financial support even though that is not the case with me.
> 
> Just like you too the destruction of my family, the fact that my son will never know what is like to have Xmas with Mom and Dad together, what is like to go on vacation, what is like to love one another and learn from us.... and much more. *I am sure there are plenty out there going through the same thing but it just hurts. When kids are in the picture I think that people need to make sure they are placed above yourself when thinking about leaving or cheating*
> I really hope I am in a better place SOON!
> *I hope you get there too!!!*


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I just went on a 9 day vacation at Club Med in the Turks and Caicos islands. I went by myself. Had a blast met tons of people. Those 9 days were really a great ego boost. I am just affraid that it will wear off soon and I will be back to my rollercoaster. I find it exceptionally hard near long weekends(tomorrow is a holiday in Canada) and I just see all these happy people at the grocery stores planning bbqs, colleagues talking about doing things as family etc. That really hurts! I have come to dread weekends


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Do what I do - adopt a few dysfunctions and coping mechanisms.

Life's a Comedy.

Not a Tragedy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Anger is a drug. The more you do it the more you like it the more you do it. You have to learn to live without being that angry. Sometimes we need professional help with that.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

It takes time for the heart to forgive what the brain does not forget. For those who have children, it probably takes longer. We are not only upset and angry at our ex-spouses for not wanting to be those husbands/wifes, they once vowed to be, but we are also saddened because they have broken our aspirations as parents to provide our children with the picture perfect family life.

Love and protect your children. Laugh and have fun with them. Although it is hard to be a single parent, strive to be the best at it you can be. The rest will come in time.


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## helpplease (May 20, 2010)

Toto: that hits the nail right on the head for me. Thanks for your words 

Runs like Dog: I don't know if it is a drug, i would rather not do it but I cannot help what happens. I wish the pain and anger would go away and I am sure it will in time, but it is hard to manage at times.

notreadytoquit: Glad you were able to get away and have a good time. I hope it will help you with your overall outlook! I would love to be able to do that. At the present time it is not possible but hopefully in the future.


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## carol (Mar 8, 2011)

And keep venting as long as you have to. Let it all out. And yes, you are doing the right thing with your children.


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## spitfire008 (Jan 13, 2011)

Well from a mans point of view Im totally lost I was adopted she comes from a family of 16 kids.Im dead alone no surviving family left.I work two jobs take kids to school and home to met them.house is clean dishes clothes beds made snack for kids.She works 11 hour days comes home for a sandwich and goes next door for 3 to 4 hours.The place she goes is for separated woman.Kids looking for her Im breaking up fightswith kids. all special need kids as well lil guy with autism.they see her doing no wrong.Meanwhile the guy who is around #dad# is seen as the bad guy.Why are you fighting with mom?Most times i keep my mouth shut but you take a week or more of this and it gets to you.MOm comes in all smiles and hugs.Great.Try looking after kids for a week when mom goes to see a guy from 34 years ago and stays a week with a divorced man.You can see my path embedded in concrete floor in basement from pacing.She calls in off Im not happy..Well sweetie Im not throwing GLITTER in the air either.But where is you head?Id never do that to you.We where here fight autism together and you bring in a new player?And she said lets do the good thing to me..CAn you hear me looking up common sense for her?Its her fourth trip to see this sailor ever introduced my 20 year old girl to him.Yes shes on moms side.I mean i believe in equal rights for both sexs BUT your bra burning days have turned to Piss on you Ill stay a week with this guy to PUsh you over the edge or build a new life for me the kids.So whos going through a change here and why does one throw the dice for 4 other people. But thats just me..


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