# Preparing for New Year's Resolutions.........any long term relationship thoughts?



## Young at Heart

Well New Years and New Years resolutions will soon be upon us. I asked my wife of over 50 years what she wanted to Christmas. It took a long time and she said a new cell phone that is 5G and the ability to travel.

We are in our early 70's and retired. This past 2 years has been stressful as my wife really likes to travel and we have had to cancel a number of cruises and vacations. Also, a couple close friends of ours have died or are becoming quite frail and that is scary as to what might be in our futures.

So many of my likely New Year's resolutions include the standards, like eat better, get more sleep, drink less wine, loose a few pounds and exercise more. 

In reading a few of the many posts on this website, I thought maybe I should add a couple of relationship resolutions. One that I am thinking is to each day think about how I will always be calm and even if my wife says something that angers me, I will not take anything she says as an insult or allow it to make me angry. It doesn't happen every day, but my wife knows my hot buttons and when she is frustrated or upset with me, she can lash out with words that go right to my core.

Another resolution is to find ways to create opportunities where she feels cherished, as her Chapman love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. The past few months we have been cooking dinner or dinning out together. When we cook together, I volunteer to be her Sous Chef and do the veggie peeling, chopping and then stirring for her. Occasionally, I will go do the shopping, although I must totally follow the list she makes for me. I will also unload and load the dishwasher during the breaks in my Sous Chef duties.

So, anyone have any long term marriage relationship based New Years resolutions they would like to share?


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## heartsbeating

I can't say that I do have any 'resolutions' in particular related to our relationship, however, I wondered how your dynamic is shaping up and what reflections and/or insights you may have gained so far based on what you shared above?


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