# What to do about Vday after Dday



## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

Another poster has a thread wondering about what to do for his WW's bd, so I thought I'd ask. What the heck do you do about Valentine's Day after dday. I've looked ... there are no cards for "you should thank your lucky a*s that I decided to reconcile with you after the damage and pain you've caused"

I've always celebrated Valentine's day with a small gift to my husb and kids when they were home. My husb has only chosen to celebrate Vday with a small gift to me on about 4 times during our 30 yr marriage. He's one of those guys that says he doesn't like vday because it's a made up holiday. Well OK,,, so is the Super Bowl, so how would he like it if his team was playing and I insisted he sit in the house with me reading a romance novel with the TV turned off? Maybe not an exact correlation with Vday, but you get my drift. 

He has always known I wasn't fond of the way he handled Vday. To be honest, I have no idea what to do this year and I'm a little scared to see if he does anything. I know me, if he forgoes Vday this year ... well, let's just say, the explosion you hear that day will be coming from my house.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

DeterminedToThrive said:


> I've looked ... there are no cards for "you should thank your lucky a*s that I decided to reconcile with you after the damage and pain you've caused"


You can get a printer, some software and make your own that says this exactly!!!!


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Under your circumstances. I would do nothing and see if he's only reciprocated 4 times over 30 years! I'd give up, he must know its at least a little important to you, since you've acknowledge it to him and kids over the years.

Or you can use this as something to take a stand on. When I do that I always feel like it is coming from obligation rather than a sincere expression. 

Acknowledge the Holiday to your children or perhaps a random act of kindness for someone you know is alone. Just a thought.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I hope your H is not like me. I am not a mind reader.

I do not like the day, especially after my wife's affair. But give him some kind of clue so that this is not added to his list of things he did wrong.

I will probably still get my wife something, because I do not want to add anything else that she can dream up that are problems with me. She had quite a list to justify her affair, and now she admits many of those were to justify her affair and were not true.


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## cj9947 (Jul 9, 2011)

Ditch VDay...accept reality...it will free you.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Do like most dating couples. Break up days before V-Day and then get back together afterward. No reason to get anything then!!


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I agree. Most holidays were made up by corporations to sell cards, candy, and flowers. They keep coming up with more and more holidays. Bosses day. Teacher appreciation day. Administrative assistant day. Only a matter of time before we have "Other Man Day"

That said if you have reconciled and forgiven him, but in the past Valentines was never a big deal to him, I would just offer this advice, as a guy. Give him a less than subtle hint that Valentines day is coming. I know you shouldn't have to hint, especially given your situation, but even good guys can be dense when it comes to expectations around these holidays. Include him in the decisions for the gifts for the children. Hopefully that will turn on the lightbulb for him to get you something as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

_ Only a matter of time before we have "Other Man Day"_

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

hey wait a minute the super bowl day is not a made up holiday.....well ok maybe it is.
But you don't have to get a card
at most beer and chips will be fine


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

yea the OM and OW day that would suck.

what could we get them?


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## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

He is changing, for the first time in 30 years I've seen change from him that I never thought would happen. 

Maybe Kristen's idea of "random acts of kindness" is the best way to go. Perhaps I'll let him know WE are celebrating Vday by taking gifts and cupcakes to the nursing home.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

^^ that would be cool and there are many other places too, well except maybe NOT a strip club, I do not think that would be appropriate.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

convert said:


> yea the OM and OW day that would suck.
> 
> what could we get them?


An Ex-Lax flavored Whitman's Sampler. The gift that keeps on giving.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Vday cards for OM/OW...

You are the only other person for me..

You are my #1 other person..

I look forward to spending the rest of my afternoon with you..

To the only person I've loved recently..


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

russell28 said:


> Vday cards for OM/OW...
> 
> You are the only other person for me..
> 
> ...


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

If he does nothing then can his dumb ass, it actually shows how little he is into R if he cannot use that one day in the yea to actually fully give and express his love for you, made up or not, it is a day to "give and show" your love, not just panda to the same BS of "it is just a marketing ploy" or "corporations make this stuff up" who cares, excuses are for losers, winners find a way.

If he is a winner then he will find a way to express his love for you without making millions for corporate fat cats.


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## BFR (Aug 31, 2012)

convert said:


> yea the OM and OW day that would suck.
> what could we get them?


A pet is always a good present. I'd like to get fWW's OM a Black Mamba. In a surprise package, after it's been agitated a while.

Last year vday was only a couple months past dday. I did get fWW a card. Nothing else. Didn't put a lot of thought into the card, I couldn't look at the selection for long, almost bought the first one I saw that didn't have sloppy verses. She got me a humorous card and made my fave dinner. That's all we did. We survived.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

convert said:


> yea the OM and OW day that would suck.
> 
> what could we get them?


Each other.


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## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

Just an update, in case anyone wondered.

My husb leaves for work at 3am, when I woke up this morning (much later. lol) There was two bottles of my favorite wine and a beautiful card.... I am tickled and so happy... now I don't have to poison the steak and lobster dinner I was planning for tonight. (oh how nice it feels to be able to make a joke instead of cry!)


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