# Has anyone else on here chosen legal separation instead of divorced?



## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

I chose this option with STBXH blessing because I needed the medical and dental insurance. I haven't worked in over 22 years. Until I get back on my feet, this was the option that worked best. My options to get insurance on my own were awful. And, cobra was ridiculously expensive. If it wasn't for that, I certainly would have opted for divorce.

How is it working out for you? Any regrets with this option? My attorney is currently working on the paperwork for legal separation and he will be served soon.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I've always heard of it, but alas, I never got to use it as there is no such thing under the Texas Family Code!

Best of luck to you!*


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *I've always heard of it, but alas, I never got to use it as there is no such thing under the Texas Family Code!
> 
> Best of luck to you!*


Yes, only some states allow it.

Thank you!


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

Hi OP

My H and I (separated) are going to pursue a legal separation rather than divorce at this stage. We have not made this decision for financial reasons but rather that I don't think either of us are comfortable with saying the word "divorced" yet. 

I've been called an "idiot" over this many times. 

I don't know how I feel about it, if its going to work, or what is going to happen when he meets someone else and wants to get remarried - but for now it's what is on the cards.


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## mjsquatch (Jan 25, 2017)

I wish my state had this option. I also don't want to leave my wife without health insurance. She is in a similar situation to you after a 20 year marriage. At the same time she has treated me terribly, evicting me with a trumped up PFA. Right now I can't do anything about the other financial issues, yet I don't want to escalate the cruelty by doing things that will hurt her badly. Glad you can take advantage of that option and start your new lives with some clear boundaries.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

camerashy said:


> Hi OP
> 
> My H and I (separated) are going to pursue a legal separation rather than divorce at this stage. We have not made this decision for financial reasons but rather that I don't think either of us are comfortable with saying the word "divorced" yet.
> 
> ...


Why have you been called an idiot?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

This is ok if neither of you wants to met someone else, but if you do, you need to know that many who are looking for a serious relationship/marriage will not want to date a married person, especially one who wont get divorced so that they can marry. If you are both happy to remain single, then thats fine.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> This is ok if neither of you wants to met someone else, but if you do, you need to know that many who are looking for a serious relationship/marriage will not want to date a married person, especially one who wont get divorced so that they can marry. If you are both happy to remain single, then thats fine.


It's almost a done deal, so no more thinking about it. We're just waiting for it to be finalized. We've both signed. I have zero interest in dating someone. The thought is scary. He says he isn't interested, either. If at any point he wants to remarry, I have no problem divorcing him. It would be rotten of me not to.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

prunus said:


> It's almost a done deal, so no more thinking about it. We're just waiting for it to be finalized. We've both signed. I have zero interest in dating someone. The thought is scary. He says he isn't interested, either. If at any point he wants to remarry, I have no problem divorcing him. It would be rotten of me not to.


It was years before I dated again, but after 6 years I met my now husband. 
Personally I wouldn't want to live in that sort of limbo, but its your choice.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> It was years before I dated again, but after 6 years I met my now husband.
> Personally I wouldn't want to live in that sort of limbo, but its your choice.


I'm in a lot less limbo than I was while we lived under the same roof.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

prunus said:


> I'm in a lot less limbo than I was while we lived under the same roof.


Well you are married but not living as if you are married.
My former husband suggested that we stayed legally married until one of us met someone else. I said no, if the marriage is over its over, and I wanted to be able to move on and the marriage be over legally.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Well you are married but not living as if you are married.
> My former husband suggested that we stayed legally married until one of us met someone else. I said no, if the marriage is over its over, and I wanted to be able to move on and the marriage be over legally.


We will be legally separated (and yes, I realize that also means legally married) and that's what was needed for me to keep the health and dental insurance. It works for us and that's all that really matters.


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## ResignedWife (Jan 20, 2017)

We are doing a legal separation with a mediator, since our state requires one year separation prior to filing for a no-fault divorce. But we'll be creating our entire divorce plan via the legal separation so that the divorce is basically just a matter of filing the paperwork at the "one year and one day" mark and waiting for a judge to sign off on it.

We're not doing it for insurance reasons though, since he is covered by his job while the kids and I are covered on mine.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ResignedWife said:


> We are doing a legal separation with a mediator, since our state requires one year separation prior to filing for a no-fault divorce. But we'll be creating our entire divorce plan via the legal separation so that the divorce is basically just a matter of filing the paperwork at the "one year and one day" mark and waiting for a judge to sign off on it.
> 
> We're not doing it for insurance reasons though, since he is covered by his job while the kids and I are covered on mine.


I was separated for 2 years before I filed for divorce. I didn't see the point of a legal separation.


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## ResignedWife (Jan 20, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I was separated for 2 years before I filed for divorce. I didn't see the point of a legal separation.


I don't know if kids were involved in your divorce, but they are in ours, and so we're doing a legal separation in order to have a solid parenting plan in place, as well as decisions about the marital home (which we're selling).


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ResignedWife said:


> I don't know if kids were involved in your divorce, but they are in ours, and so we're doing a legal separation in order to have a solid parenting plan in place, as well as decisions about the marital home (which we're selling).


 Yes we had three children, two were still teenagers.


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## Zyria (Jan 23, 2017)

I would think that legal separation is most commonly a sign of one of the two parties not being able to let go.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Zyria said:


> I would think that legal separation is most commonly a sign of one of the two parties not being able to let go.


Yes, and its not advisable for that reason alone. Its like a limbo state. Not married but not single.


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