# married 30 years and considering Divorce



## Notmyusualusername (Feb 4, 2013)

Hi I am in my early 50's been married 30 years last September never strayed 3 kids all fled the nest now and live and work at home with my Wife.

Things have gotten real bad lately we are both pasionate and have always rowed but now I feel it's time to move on as I don't feel I love her anymore!

Am conflicted as I do love her but we seem to clash more and more frequently, she is late 40's and I think very wooried about aging and I often accuse her of being on the change which REALLY helps things.

She accuses me of being controlling a bully etc....any thoughts?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Have you approached her and let her know that you think that you don't have feelings for her anymore because of the constant fighting?

Would you be willing to try and get these feelings back through counseling?

Talk to your wife if you have any interest in trying to fix this. If you do and she does too, get counseling as soon as you can

If not, remain civil and work towards dissolving the union in a fair and respectful manner


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## Notmyusualusername (Feb 4, 2013)

Thank you we no longer live in our country and I do not feel she would go to counselling here because of the language in addition I feel counselling would just be a shouting match he said she said I really a don't know

I am sat in a hotel as I walked out yesterday and am gouing back tomoroow I have been thinking of divorce all day or maybe suggests she goes back to our country and we trial seperate


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## Notmyusualusername (Feb 4, 2013)

Am going to go for a walk and clear my head!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well, if the two of you argue all the time, then the two of you are at fault here. Marriages go through stages. It seems that the two of you are at a point at which you need to redefine your relationship.

If you change the way you interact with her, she will have to change. 

Your situation can be changed for the better. The first step is to just stop the arguing. You can do that.


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## Notmyusualusername (Feb 4, 2013)

Thank you for your advice I am confused I do not think I am a bad husband or person BUT my wife would say the total opposite...I am controlling a bastard etc no matter how thinly you slice the meat there are two sides to every story and I feel we have reached the end.

Sad and the kids..all adults will be very upset and I am sure I will be painted as the bastard..I am good at my job and it involves talking and listening to people...so I cannot believe that is a skill I lack.

I like women and get on well with them but do not flirt as I really don't know how that works, I am straight talking and honest in my opinion.

I have been for a walk and for dinner and do not feel different I feel I should offer a seperation but I think a I am protecting myself...I thought if my wife remarried how would I feel ,,,initailly upset BUT I would get over it...I have NEVER felt like that EVER perhaps it is a sign I dunno????


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