# Start dating or wait?



## iheartlamps (Jan 4, 2009)

Ok so my ex girlfriend and I broke up last month, and it looks like there is no chance of getting back together(I have a post in general if you'd like more info. She told me that it is unhealthy to want her back and that for her I need to stop talking to her). Yes, I would take her back in a heartbeat and yes I still love her deeply...I don't think that will ever change. She wants me to move on, and for her I may try. My question is how soon should I start dating someone else? Honestly it's hard to even find women attractive anymore, and all I can really think about is her. Would it be wrong to date someone just to try to help move on? A part of me wants to just wait...and hope she will come back, but I realize that probably is insane. I dunno...any advice?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

My advice would be to stay social..hang out with groups of friends of both sexes and just get used to being on your own for a while. Sitting home and feeling sad is not the answer, but jumping into something else for the purpose of moving on won't make you feel better...the more you put yourself out there socially, the better the chance you will meet someone that you feel a spark for...and when that happens, you will likely stop thinking about your ex.


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## blind (Jan 17, 2008)

I don't think dating will necessarily fix how you feel. It also isn't fair to the person you would be dating to just use them as a step to get over your ex. This is not to say dating isn't a good thing. However, you need to be ready for it. I do agree with swedish. Be social, hit the gym, put yourself in environments where you are exposed to having a good time with others. You'll heal and as that process occurs your eyes will start wondering. You'll start to notice women. You can't make yourself get over her. But, you can decide to take healthy steps in that direction. Don't press, let it happen. Oh, and do things for yourself, not for her! Its not being selfish, it is simply improving you and preparing for a better future. Best of luck


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

swedish said:


> My advice would be to stay social..hang out with groups of friends of both sexes and just get used to being on your own for a while. Sitting home and feeling sad is not the answer, but jumping into something else for the purpose of moving on won't make you feel better...the more you put yourself out there socially, the better the chance you will meet someone that you feel a spark for...and when that happens, you will likely stop thinking about your ex.


:iagree:


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## Online Dater (Apr 17, 2009)

> Quote:
> Originally Posted by swedish View Post
> My advice would be to stay social..hang out with groups of friends of both sexes and just get used to being on your own for a while. Sitting home and feeling sad is not the answer, but jumping into something else for the purpose of moving on won't make you feel better...the more you put yourself out there socially, the better the chance you will meet someone that you feel a spark for...and when that happens, you will likely stop thinking about your ex.


:iagree: too.

Very well said, SwedIt's unfair to use others to forget your ex. Take some time to heal. There’s other way to move on, just relax…:smthumbup:

Free Online Dating


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## mea_3 (Sep 13, 2009)

I say get back out there! :smthumbup:Why sit around and stew over your x if you know there is no chance of getting back together?? Socialize and perhaps you will meet a nice new girl. Good luck.


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## Lizzie60 (Sep 13, 2009)

I say.. DATE.. as much as you want.. 

You will probably move on a lot faster.. and who knows.. you might find the love of your life.. 

Who said that there is a time limit to date after a break-up.

Go for it.. Enjoy.. life is way too short to be miserable over another human being..


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## string72 (Jun 21, 2009)

I say, start by friendship first. Get into the zone. If you still have feelings for her, you may not be able to identify true love, till you are over her. Go out, socialize, get into your hobbies and just try to have fun. Try making friends on promatching or pof Who knows what you may find there.


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## happyjule2009 (Mar 29, 2010)

You should enjoy your time as a single person. Use this time to reflect and improve on yourself. Take time to think about what you have done or not done in that relationship that you can control and are willing to change. Make those changes while being social to get to know other singles out there and when its time, go find your next potential life partner! Good luck.


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## bbk_agp (Jun 4, 2010)

Trying to get her back may be a good idea, but if you think that there is no way, and nothing can help you to get her back just forget it.
I faced with such a situation and i try really hard to get her back, but there was no way, but i don't give up. I'va talked to lot's of friend's of her to get her back, but what happened? Someday I see her with someone else, a new BF. that hurts a lot, so much that you can't even think about it. But if i tried for my self and forget her this hurt wouldn't happen.
I think getting back may warming your relationship, but if there is no way you'll be humiliated by someone you LOVE... it'll be absolutely hard to accept for you. So just try to be social... you may find someone else who love you much and you love her much more...
Dating will be soon. Wait a while and don't hurry. Don't date someone just for escaping from this situation. This may put you in another hard situation.


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## mike1101 (Aug 3, 2010)

I think you really need to figure out what exactly you want - listen to your heart and take decsions open mindedly. Also try reading some articles online like 07-16-2010 - Solutions to common relationship problems


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

There's nothing wrong with dating others, as long as you're completely honest about your feelings. No, you don't need to tell them you're still in love and hoping she'll come back. But neither should you say, "I'm looking to get married and have lots of babies" either. Something along the lines of, "I just got out of a fairly serious relationship, and though we'll never get back together, I don't know that I'm quite ready to move into another serious relationship. I'm really just looking to hang out and have some fun, and if something more comes from it, so be it." 

There's nothing at all wrong with moving on and dating, you just have to be honest so that no one, including yourself, gets misled. And no, dating won't necessarily help you get over her. But it will keep you busy, keep you social so that you don't get rusty on how to date (nothing worse than going out with someone who's clueless  lol), and eventually it may lead you to someone who's right for you.


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