# I checked his Facebook...



## RachelLaura (Dec 15, 2009)

My husband leaves his FB page up all of the time without signing out. There have been a few times I just didnt have the willpower not to look. Here are some examples of convos Ive seen... this one was with a girl he had hooked up with in college. Convo went something like this:

My H: Happy anniversary
Her: Huh?
My H: This nite 8 years ago my courtship of you finally paid off
Her: Im confused
My H: We did it one night that summer
My H: I remember I courted you a long time before you reciprocated

Another girl he had a crush on in college who he had told me about......
Her: What are you going to name your daughter?
My H: Ella
My H: But I wanted to name her Katy after my senior year mission in college to get you
My H: Wife didnt like that. JK

Another with a girl he met online and went out on a couple of dates with, they never hooked up but remained friends. He told her she looked hot in some of her pictures and another time asked her "What are you wearing?"

My husband has always been friends with a lot of girls and can be a little bit of a flirt. Nothing that every totally bothered me though. And honestly, my husband really is a loyal guy and I would be FLOORED if he cheated. All of these types of convos I feel totally cross the line and disrespect me though. It was really hurtful reading all of these flirty comments to girls that he has had romantic connections to in the past. Not as bad as cheating, but just really inappropriate and way too flirty for someone who is married. I want to say something but not just feel stupid that I snooped. So I am just angry but I cant really confront him about it. Any thoughts?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The fact that the first girl was like, wtf? is enough to say that he is instigating this and it's NOT ok.

I'd bring it up. Everyone is always talking about privacy, space, etc. If you leave your FB page open, it's your own damn fault.


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## RachelLaura (Dec 15, 2009)

Oh yea, every convo the girls were clearly not okay with his comments. Because they were inappropriate and the girls know he is married. I think every girl he contacted was either married or seriously dating someone. The last girl is really nice we have hung out with her several times. We got along great and had fun with her.

I just find it embarrassing and extremely disrespectful to me.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

RachelLaura said:


> Oh yea, every convo the girls were clearly not okay with his comments. Because they were inappropriate and the girls know he is married. I think every girl he contacted was either married or seriously dating someone. The last girl is really nice we have hung out with her several times. We got along great and had fun with her.
> 
> I just find it embarrassing and extremely disrespectful to me.


As you should. He is way out of line and kinda creepy.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

OMG don't even get me started about facebook.

Those convos you typed, I've seen many like them on my STBXH's facebook when he forgot to log off. And of course his passwords are secret.

I've seen him type stuff like I still love you (college GF 15 yrs ago), my marriage is miserable, my wife doesnt want me talking to other women, etc, etc.

It is totally disrespectful to me/you and is definitely crossing the line. Any time he says more than a hello he is crossing the line into inapproriate behaviour for a married man.

The only difference is the women he was chatting up reciprocated in a big way. They didn't give a damn he was married.

I hate facebook.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

brokenbythis said:


> OMG don't even get me started about facebook.
> 
> Those convos you typed, I've seen many like them on my STBXH's facebook when he forgot to log off. And of course his passwords are secret.
> 
> ...


If he's not cheating, it's because the girls he's hitting on are shooting him down. Imagine if they flirted back? Then where would it go?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

This is way over the line. He is a scum bag. Confront him and lay it out. Im not trying to attack you but you seem very naive about how serious a violation this for someone in a committed relationship. He seriously needs to get a clue and some integrity. Good luck with that. I dont see it happening. Way too selfish and immature.

Job 1 of any husband is to make their wife feel secure. The sign of integrity is to do the right thing when no one is looking.


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## YoungLoveHelp (Sep 24, 2011)

Well you can't 'unsee' what you saw, and for obvious reasons it's bothering you, so it's definitely something you need to talk to him about.
My husband is a bit (unintentionally) flirty as well, but if I saw that on his FB I'd be upset about it too!


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## RachelLaura (Dec 15, 2009)

Thanks all. Maybe I needed a kick in the butt or something. To the poster who said imagine what the conversations would be like if the girls HAD reciprocated..... well...... you're right. Maybe it sounds silly but I never really thought about that. I was pretty upset about this before but now I am kind of sick to my stomach.

He got mad at me when he found out I was friends with an ex boyfriend on FB, meanwhile, I dont even communicate with my ex whatsoever. And here he is making inappropriate comments to past flames, how hypocritical.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You Hubby was totally putting feelers out and none of those women were receptive, but had one been, I am sure he woulda been on it. 

He's acting highly inappropriate for a man who is married.

Call his a$$ out on it.

I'm not surprised he was mad about you being friends with your ex. He knows the danger there, yet he's a hypocrite. Ya know what they say--those who accuse usually have some hidden skeletons of the same thing they are accusing about.


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## allisterfiend (Sep 29, 2011)

My wife and I are having some difficulties right now. I posted the whole story in a thread entitled "how the hell..."

At any rate, since she has been so cold to me lately I decided to look at her FB page. Low and Behold, she had 6 new Guy friends that she claimed she went to school with and told me to "Stay the hell off her FaceBook"

I have agreed to everything she has asked of me to try to save this marriage of 26 years, but she is not helping me understand why all of a sudden she feels she needs to reconnect with guys she has not seen in 26 years.

Her dad just passed away and if I dont get some answers they may need to dig 7 more graves. JK


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Sometimes men who are "big flirts" do it for the attention. They need the attention. And sometimes they are truly just trolling for something else or someone else. If he's always been a big flirt he's getting off on it. However, if it makes you uncomfortable and crosses your boundaries you need to tell him that it's unacceptable.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

fishing for flings no doubt about it.


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