# my heart lives 20 minutes away from me.



## charyse (Jul 12, 2011)

hello everyone im new to the site, after reading a few posts i want to share my story and get some feed back. I met my husband in july of 08 in a night club. I was witha friend and we met D and his friend. Decided to get something to eat with them and dropped them back off at the club. Never exchanged numbers nothing. the next day i found D's wallet in the ack seat of my car, he was flying to california that day because he was in the navy and had to go back. got his number and returned it and the rest is history.
We started slowly talking after that until we fell in love long distance him being in california and me in minnesota. He flew me to cali a few times to stay with him. One time flying back i was stuck in an airport over night and he said we should get married and we did 6 weeks later in may 2009.
I moved to california to be with him leaving everything behind. Like all couples we had some adjustment issues but things were pretty good. We play fought and watched movies and i just loved being around him. right after our first anniversary he got drunk and drove and got a dui. The navy punished him by sticking him in a solitary room for 2 months followed by 1 month of rehab. During that time i mmoved out of our apt and into a house on base alone. When he came back we were inseparable. 
the beginning of 2011 he forgot valentines and my birthday and went out with a friend one night and came home drunk saying he wanted to be alone more and wanted a divorce. He says he doesnt want to be married because he likes to be alone all the time. Well a week later i was on the road back to MN and that was april 15th 11. I have been here ever since. I have been trying to talk to him atleast once a day about not important just how he s doing etc. After i left he started being nice to me and talking to me more then he did when we were together.
during this time i have pulled myself togther as an indepdant women and got myself a job to save money to get an apartment. About 1 1/2 weeks ago he arrived back in MN due to getting out of the navy. since he has been home i have not seen him and its making me feel terrible on the inside. I dont want to bother him too much about it i just really want to see him. He will be back again on the 16th from a family vacation in which he said i would be able to see him. I am just so nervous because he has not mentioned divorce since the terrible night he said it the first time. i told him things would be different because my friends and family are here and my job and i wouldnt have to rely on him for absolutly everything.
He starts college in august and is excited. And when i do see him things need to be figured out i am just soafraid he is going to rip my heart out again. I dotn want to lose him he is the love of my life. I am hoping he has thought about what i have said about things changing, but the fear of rejection is killing me. Everyday i have not seen him is killing me more and more inside. I just dont know how to feel or act and when i do see him for the first time after months i dont know what to do or say even if he is my husband. I want him back so badly it hurts. I guess i just need some other peoples point of views that are going thru this as well because it is terrible and i have no idea what to do.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Well, there are only two things that can happen. He will either stay or go. You should prepare for the worse and expect the best. I will be praying for you either way. Glad you are now back home and surrounded by a support network.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Maybe you guys should "start over" and take the time to really build the relationship. It seems like it went quite quickly before.


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## charyse (Jul 12, 2011)

I think "starting over" is a fantastic idea. the problem is my husband may not think so, although he has had a lot of time to think of things, i have not seen him in 3 months and have no idea which way he is planning to go with this. He is very un emotional so im stuck in the middle and its driving me crazy. but i would love to start fresh and hopefully he will too


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