# Should I dye my Hair?



## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

I put my concern here to get a genuine feedback from ladies' perspective.

Many people tell me I look older than I really am because of my gray hairs. I started having gray hair when I was in my early 20's. Now in my early 40s I have more gray hairs than my peers.

My ex-wife used to tell me that the gray hair is ok and I should not dye my hair. Then I believed her and it had not bothered me for a single day as I was not dating.

Now that I am separated, I wanted to get to know women but am worried that my gray hair will put me on the least priority for a date. And now I am suspicious that my wife had wanted me to have the gray hair so that I don't date.

Will my gray hair affect my dating probability? If so should I dye my hair? (I really look young when I have no gray hair).

Please give me your opinion.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I don't mind seeing a man with gray hair. But, then I look at inner qualities more than outward appearances. However, many times we have to ask ourselves if we would feel more _confident_ if we were to make changes. If dying your hair would make you feel more confident, then do so. Just make sure it looks natural. I've seen some dye jobs where the gray hair would have been far more appealing.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

The grey hair would have no impact on me whatsoever. BUT if it bothers YOU, and would make YOU feel more attractive, there is no harm in it.


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

To be honest I'd think a little less of you for dying it.
But I'm a woman who is choosing to go grey naturally. I wouldn't want to be with a man more high maintenance or vain than myself. Grey is fine on a man. Luckily DH and I are the same age and about the same amount of grey.
Lots of women would disagree with my opinion though - depends what type you want to attract.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I agree it depends on the woman you want to attract. Except for those who like older men or those who have some kind of daddy syndrome, a woman in her 20s wouldn't necessarily be interested one with or without the gray. A woman in your own age bracket won't care.


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

Thank you for the nice input. I don't like to dye my hair and am happy to hear that it doesn't make a difference to women. I am so confident as I am (with 40-50% gray hairs).
:iagree:


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## AWife (Sep 25, 2010)

I agree with those who say it doesn't matter depending on the type of woman you're looking for. If you don't want to do it then don't do it. 

I wish to add, however, if you do it please see someone that knows what they're doing and keep it up. There's nothing tackier than a bad dye job or a "skunk stripe" especially on a man.


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

Thanks AWife for the tip. I appreciate it.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Asmarino said:


> Thanks AWife for the tip. I appreciate it.


Go with who you are, grey hairs and all. Authenticity is the way ahead.

Bob


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## LuvMyH (Nov 11, 2009)

I don't think gray hair is a problem on most men. On some, it's downright sexy!

Your question reminded of the time I arrived early for a hair appointment and saw a man in the chair with highlighting foils in his hair. More than I've ever had in mine.He was a tall, good-looking biker type and I kept thinking of what his male friends would say if they saw him like that. A couple of months ago, my husband and I were at the grocery store and saw a magazine with a closeup of Keith Urban on the cover. We always joke about him because my husband knows I think he's very handsome. Well, up close, I could see all of the salon highlights in his hair. I pictured him with the foils and suddenly,wasn't so hot in my eyes.

Sexist? Maybe. But there are alot of beauty rituals women endure that men should not know about, much less have done to themselves. Just my opinion. Go with the gray and avoid losing coolness and sexiness points. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

Well, lets see- a lot of women they find it *sexy* and then there are some women who find it *not sexy* it really matters on the age of the female you're looking for, it matters on your type, if you want someone who is between 20-30 most likely they will want someone without gray hair and if it is someone 30 and over most likely they will not give a damn...

But then there are females like myself who always says
"Looks do not matter it is what is in the heart"

That right there is a fact- and this is how you should take it- if the people do not like you, for who and what you look like then the person really is not worth it. That is a fact.... Because, you should not have to go around changing your looks to please another person. It just is not right- now if you had your hair dyed and met the female that way- and she fell in love with you like that- that is awhole new ballpark... You, are your own self and it sounds like you already have your mind made up and you're going to be dying it. But like I said you may find a sweet, loving person- who is like myself who is someone who does not care on the looks- just the heart....

Sounds to me you are looking for someone who is really young- if you are trying to look way younger than your age- you want to rob the cradle---- 

So if this is the case I guess you would want to dye it- because I know there are not a lot of females who are like myself and just do not care about this things...

______________________________________________________
*True love, is something you would not always find, and when you do- make sure you do everything in your power to hold on to it- true love is something so very rare; it is so very precious; hold onto it just like you if it was a treasure.*


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

827Aug said:


> I don't mind seeing a man with gray hair. But, then I look at inner qualities more than outward appearances. However, many times we have to ask ourselves if we would feel more _confident_ if we were to make changes. If dying your hair would make you feel more confident, then do so. Just make sure it looks natural. I've seen some dye jobs where the gray hair would have been far more appealing.


*Okay- you are another female who pretty much is like myself. I was telling him the same as you were. Looks really do not matter on a person; it is the heart, the soul which makes that person. I am one who will not judge someone by their looks. I go for the heart and what the person holds within their heart. My husband now, he is a very handsome person- but this is not what made me fall in love with him and it is not why, I love him so much. I love him for his insides and what he holds within his heart. Now, someone who is looking for someone to be with- should look at themsleves this way and say "If the person does not like me for who I am then forget them" I have seen you and me have posted a lot of things that have been close. Two great minds will think alike *


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

My aim is to date women in the age range of 30-45. I have made up my mind that I need not dye my hair. But it is good to hear more thoughts. I would also appreciate any dating tips as well.


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

Asmarino said:


> My aim is to date women in the age range of 30-45. I have made up my mind that I need not dye my hair. But it is good to hear more thoughts. I would also appreciate any dating tips as well.



*I am glad to hear it- see you, are now listening to us and know yourself- that you would be a good looking person no matter what. And then if the person does not like you, for who and what you are then they just are not worth it... Glad to hear though you are not going to be dying your hair. Good thinking on the point. Now, after you get with the person and feel that YOU, want to change it for yourself then more power to you, then there would not be anything wrong with it. Just do not change yourself to make someone fall in love with you.*


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

You could shave it bald like me.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Scannerguard said:


> You could shave it bald like me.


Men have so many options! LOL


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Asmarino said:


> My aim is to date women in the age range of 30-45. I have made up my mind that I need not dye my hair. But it is good to hear more thoughts. I would also appreciate any dating tips as well.


Let's see..you are in your 40s and want to date women in that range...sounds good to me! Doesn't sound like you are a cradle robber at all...

This is a general statement: Even if a person dyes their hair there comes a point that without plastic surgery people are still going to see the effects of natural aging. The skin changes and there's wrinkles and what not. It's just what happens to us all. 

Some people age better than others but with rare exception, a 20 year old is to know if someone is pushing 40. I recall when I was 21 and went to the clubs how I thought it was pathetic that men who were as old as my father were trying to "pass" as being my age.

Some women like older men and that's fine but no one appreciates a fake, phony type. IMO, there's nothing worse than some middle aged guy with wrinkles and a pot belly sporting slicked back jet black hair and a combover trying to come off as "hip" just so he can pick up younger women. It's ludicrous. My friends and I used to laugh and say things like "Go home granddad, it's way past your bedtime". 

I don't think you are trying to do that. You just want to look good and THAT is awesome! Personally as a woman in my 40s I like a man with graying hair. Heck, I don't mind bald guys. Some of the sexiest men out there are bald..Look at Patrick Stewart (Star Trek TNG) and David Draiman (lead singer for the band Disturbed)..I find these guys extremely sexy. The list for sexy graying guys is even longer!

In my book, if you are in good shape (take care of yourself, keep an eye on your weight, etc) and have a fun, interesting persona then you are all set! If you want to dye your hair then go ahead and do it! But the fact that you've stated that you'd rather not and am happy with yourself shows me you are confident and happy with yourself and THAT is the best asset that you have! That's what most women want to see and will take you furthest in dating. :smthumbup:

Now I do dye my hair. In fact, it's two different colors! Why do I do this? Because I love it! It fits my persona and personality and I know that some look at me and shake their heads and others say "Great hair!" But the important thing is that I do it for myself. One day I'll get to a point where I'll grow tired of it or it won't "fit" me anymore and I'll do something else. Point is, do what makes you happy because if you are happy then you'll be attractive to others. 

There are beautiful people out there who are downright ugly because that's how they come off and I've seen others who are considered "unattractive" but are absolutely gorgeous! I hope you get what I'm talking about here. It's what's inside a person and shines through that is most important and will make you attractive to someone else. The other stuff is icing on the cake. 

If a woman won't go out with you because your temples are graying then chances are that's not the type of person you want to hang with. She probably won't like the car you drive or the size of your bank account either. Is this the type of lady you want? I doubt it. 

You sound like a cool guy and if I were single I'd date you. Now go out there and have yourself some fun!


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## Asmarino (Aug 20, 2010)

Many thanks for all of you who contributed. Great ideas come from great minds.
I am more confident in who I am than I were before.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Scannerguard said:


> You could shave it bald like me.


 Oh no, NOT bald ! I love the Rock singer Daughtery but I am always saying I wish he would grow some hair! Grey is better than Bald, and color is better than gray, just my thoughts.

but... 

Only matters what your woman wants and how YOU perceive yourself. If dyeing it will give you more confidence, then you should dye it. It you feel good either way, then just wait till you meet someone & ask her. 

But true, IF you look significantly younger with it dyed, you are likely to get more fish in the sea after you, then seems a no braner to me, DYE it while looking -until you meet your match, then let HER decide.


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