# Exposing a family member?



## purrhotstuff (Apr 21, 2011)

I have a cousin that I am very close to. In the last year she has questioned me multiple times about one topic: if I know if her husband has ever cheated on her. My answer has always been a honest no. I truly had no idea if he cheated or not.

My cousin and her husband talk about sex all the time. In fact it is all they talk about at parties and get togethers. The speak about the subject non-stop. I consider her husband to be a "dog". He's always checking out other women in front of her, has very strong pornographic images on his phone (including beastiality) that he shows every body with eyes and has always maintained that it doesn't matter who gets him horny, as long as he goes home to his wife to satisfy him. The only redeeming quality that he has is that he's honest about this and she condones it. Up until recently, he seemed up front about everything and didn't hide his behavior from my cousin, or anyone else.

Last Friday we were attending a birthday party at the home of my cousin and her husband. Every body drank and joked and nothing was out of the norm except for the end. As every one filed out of the house, I stayed behind because I had to use the restroom. When I walked out of the restroom, I saw my cousins husband give my sister a hug but not a normal hug. He was very close to her ear and draped all over her, she said "okay, okay, okay" a few times and patted him on the back and said something like "gotta go." I'm walking down the hall and as he pulls away, he pats her butt. She pulls aways and walks out the door and he directly follows. Every body is out on the front lawn and curb saying goodbye and I head for my sister. She's red and holding her arms against herself and doesn't look too happy. I said what happened in there and she snaps out of it and shoots back _you saw that_? _omg, we need to talk_. 

It turns out that my sister went back inside to get a plate of leftovers that my cousin had wrapped for her but she had forgotten, as she was making her way out of the kitchen, my cousins husband also was walking outside but intercepted her. 

He put his arm around her as they walked to the door and said how pretty she was is and he loved to see her and how he loved his family and he would do anything for her because she was family. When they got near the door, he said gimme a hug goodbye and she did but he started to whisper in her ear "i wanna screw you, i wanna f-ck you so bad, you are giving me a boner" and that is when i walked up, she said "okay, okay, I gotta go" and patted him to let her go.

My sis does not want to tell my cousin because she is afraid that he'll tell my cousin that they were drunk and maybe she didn't remember it right, or that he was too drunk to even remember what he said. She also does not want to break up their family. My cousin and her husband have been married since they were both 17, they have been married for 14 years and have 2 kids, 12 and 10. She does not want to be the person who says what he did, and the family blame her for breaking up this marriage.

I talked to my cousin and asked her straight up, why has she been asking me if I know her husband has cheated on her but she refused to say. She just said sometimes you just wanna know.

Should I expose him even though my sister does not want to?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

purrhotstuff said:


> Should I expose him even though my sister does not want to?


Why not send her an anonymous letter or e-mail?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

purrhotstuff said:


> When they got near the door, he said gimme a hug goodbye and she did but he started to whisper in her ear "i wanna screw you, i wanna f-ck you so bad, you are giving me a boner" and that is when i walked up, she said "okay, okay, I gotta go" and patted him to let her go.


He sounds like a total a*hole. I hope she finds out about it. Do you think she already knows?


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## Saffron (Mar 7, 2010)

I'm guessing your cousin has a gut feeling or maybe caught her husband in a compromising situation that he denied as inappropriate. She must have an inkling he's up to no good.

You don't have to tell your cousin what happened with your sister to help, but address what she should do with her suspicions. Tell her about key logger, checking emails, texts, etc. I'd also suggest searching his car, golf bag, glove compartment, briefcase, wallet... anything that might have evidence. Looking for receipts, condoms, phone numbers you name it.

If she asks how you know so much about this kind of thing, you can make up some excuse about not being able to say due to a friend or such. The important thing is for her to get concrete evidence so she can confront her lame @$$ husband. Otherwise, he'll probably have an excuse for his behavior. He was too drunk, doesn't remember, joking, blah, blah, blah.... he'd lie his way out of it for sure.


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## bird (Apr 7, 2011)

tell her to hire a decoy....problem solved.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Your trackin varmits, they can be clever little buggers...

If you come across fresh varmit tracks... Don't stink up the area with your scent.. or come back to the area with a gun making all kinds of noise!! If the varmit figures out you have been there... he wont come back and if he hears you coming you wont get a clean shot off...

Slowly back away from the spot... go get yer gun and a tree stand... quietly set up ur stand... and wait. As long as he doesn't smell you or know your there... you will get your shot. SHoot to early or make too much noise and you may never get another shot at that little booger!. 

lol.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> go get yer gun and a tree stand... quietly set up ur stand... and wait.


Fellow deer hunter as well, Pit?

Yes, as Pit says, tell her to do her research before revealing she is researching. If those wascally wabbits know they are being hunted, they become more tricky. If she confronts him immediately, he will blow it off.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Pit and Hurt, that made me lol.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

HurtinginTN said:


> Fellow deer hunter as well, Pit?


Yup. I try. 

Funny after surviving infidelity how many other life analogies and simple wisdoms are accurate and can be applied to cheaters... The whole cheating/infidelity thing when its happening to you seems so complicated with all the feelings, crazy intense emotions and history between all the people and all the relationships that are affected by it... But once the fog and smog clears and you are able to see..... It's really not complicated at all. It's just pretty sad.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Oh I hear that Pit...for sure.


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