# Sudden pain.



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Just wanting to know if anyone else has experienced this. 

In the past two months I have developed sudden excruciating pain with sex. The feeling is comparable to a back spasm if anyone has ever had one of those. Definitely muscle in nature. I can be in the mood and getting into it and all of a sudden it will be pain on a scale of a 7 or so. 

A couple times we just stopped cold turkey and that was a huge awful mood killer. 

Last time I wanted to work through it. I'm honestly afraid this would kill our already limping sex life. So I relaxed, focused on him, prolonged things, went back to foreplay thinking it was in my head. It was ok. We got through it. Pain during sex wasn't as intense to the point where I had to stop.

However as soon as the pleasure was over I was in a lot of pain. It woke me out of a dead sleep and took over 24 hours to fade. It is a very intense internal pain. Sitting in a chair was painful. 

At this point I have zero desire to feel that again and I am now scared to be touched at all down there. 

I just went to the gyn a month ago, exams have always been very painful for me and I've always told the doctor that. They have said that's normal for some people. I always assumed it was just nerves or whatever. My exams come back normal.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Find a different gyn. Exams are uncomfortable but not painful. Please describe the pain more. Where exactly is it?


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Internal pain like along the vaginal walls? Non specific, feels like a muscle spasm/clamping. I do not have control over it. Feels like everything is clamping shut. Sorry if TMI. Same thing happens during exam time and the speculum I find incredibly painful.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Kag,

Be very careful. If you create a pain pathway - you will be really harmed. Google "pain pathways chronic pain'"

If your H is supportive - the best thing - soon as it hurts - switch to and finish with a different method. 




kag123 said:


> Just wanting to know if anyone else has experienced this.
> 
> In the past two months I have developed sudden excruciating pain with sex. The feeling is comparable to a back spasm if anyone has ever had one of those. Definitely muscle in nature. I can be in the mood and getting into it and all of a sudden it will be pain on a scale of a 7 or so.
> 
> ...


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I have suffered from chronic pain my whole life in other parts of the body, many docs determined it was attributed to my depression which I am now treating with medication (for approx 5 yrs now). I never had this pain before though. And the chronic pain was never this intense. More annoying/exhausting than anything.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I bet it's pelvic floor spasms. During intercourse and after orgasm... Sounds like thats what it is.

Yes, find a new GYN!!! How dare he/she completely dismiss your pain? 

See a Physical Therapist who specializes in women's pelvic floor problems. They are hard to find and book up quickly but they do a great job actually listening and exploring all sources of pain to isolate the muscles groups and teach you ways to alleviate the pain.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Also, do you regularly do kagels? If not start. Brushing your teeth do 20 fast. Every red light do 5 slow. Every stop sign do 3 slow. Every time Trump talks about how some group he just insulted love him, do 2slow and 2 fast.


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## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> See a Physical Therapist who specializes in women's pelvic floor problems. They are hard to find and book up quickly but they do a great job actually listening and exploring all sources of pain to isolate the muscles groups and teach you ways to alleviate the pain.


Yes, pelvic floor physiotherapy:Pelvic Pain - Physical Therapy for Pelvic Pain


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

kag123 said:


> It woke me out of a dead sleep and took over 24 hours to fade. It is a very intense internal pain. Sitting in a chair was painful.


This may be advice that will not help, but it is so simple that it is worth a try. My mom used to be jolted out of bed at night with excruciating pain in her legs. The pain was so bad it would last for a full day before subsiding. This went on for over a year until she told me about it one day.

In her case the problem was that her body was very low on electrolytes and this was severe causing muscle cramps as she would stretch in her sleep. 

*SOLUTION: Glass of Gatorade before going to bed.*

That immediately solved her problem and she never had the problem ever again. So if you have an odd diet where you may not be getting enough fluids and/or sodium/potassium in your diet, your body could be very low on electrolytes. 

Bananas are naturally high in potassium and are often consumed by concert violinists prior to performances. Their potassium helps regulate and calm the nervous system. 

Also if you are in pain and need relief, pineapple is the strongest natural anti-inflametory you can eat. A serving of pineapple is said to be the equivalent of taking two Advil. Athletes often eat pineapple after a workout to help prevent muscle pains from exercising. 

Hope that helps, 
Badsanta


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

kag123 said:


> I have suffered from chronic pain my whole life in other parts of the body, many docs determined it was attributed to my depression which I am now treating with medication (for approx 5 yrs now). I never had this pain before though. And the chronic pain was never this intense. More annoying/exhausting than anything.


Read "The Mindbody Prescription" by Dr. Sarno.

It sounds weird but it helped me a lot.

The "whole life of suffering from chronic pain" and the pain during sex when you've been concerned about sex are clues that this might be what's happening with you.

I'm not saying for sure, but it's worth checking out.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

Saw a tv show recently where a man had post orgasmic pain syndrome . It was so severe he went to the Netherlands for surgery to remove his testicles and prostate. Cured his pain but now he has dry orgasms and he has to explain his condition to would-be sex partners.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

keeper63 said:


> Saw a tv show recently where a man had post orgasmic pain syndrome . It was so severe he went to the Netherlands for surgery to remove his testicles and prostate. Cured his pain but now he has dry orgasms and he has to explain his condition to would-be sex partners.


 @keeper63

I know your wife has mentioned that she wants you to try something new and kinky with you. Perhaps this was a porno she rented, but fooled you into thinking it was a legit documentary?

Dude! 

I'd be freaking out right about now...


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I'm smelling what you are cooking, Santa, but fortunately I saw that show in my hotel room on a business trip by myself!


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

badsanta said:


> This may be advice that will not help, but it is so simple that it is worth a try. My mom used to be jolted out of bed at night with excruciating pain in her legs. The pain was so bad it would last for a full day before subsiding. This went on for over a year until she told me about it one day.
> 
> In her case the problem was that her body was very low on electrolytes and this was severe causing muscle cramps as she would stretch in her sleep.
> 
> ...


Thank you! I hadn't thought of this. I've had plenty a "Charlie horse" and know what that feels like. Including the ones that wake you from a dead sleep. This does feel similar - except it's triggered by being touched, rather than spontaneous like those leg cramps seem to be. But might be related! I will try to add potassium into my diet and see if it helps.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Buddy400 said:


> Read "The Mindbody Prescription" by Dr. Sarno.
> 
> It sounds weird but it helped me a lot.
> 
> ...


Thank you! I will order the book! 

I am sure it will be enlightening. 

When I had the whole body pain (joint and bone pain) I went through tons of tests to rule out conditions like RA, lupus, Lyme disease, fibromyalgia. Nothing fit. My doctor put me on heavy SSRI and said it might help the pain. Believe it or not, it went away completely. It was at that point that we both mutually felt the pain was likely psychosomatic. Apparently depression/anxiety are known for causing real pain.


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## bluezone (Jan 7, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Also, do you regularly do kagels? If not start. Brushing your teeth do 20 fast. Every red light do 5 slow. Every stop sign do 3 slow. Every time Trump talks about how some group he just insulted love him, do 2slow and 2 fast.


:rofl:


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

I'm sorry I have no advice on what the pain may be or how to deal with it. I am just putting in a bit of advice from the perspective of the Husband. I can't stress this enough, communicate what you are going through to your husband. Make sure he knows.

I'm not saying this so you will get sympathy, I'm saying this to avoid very serious future problems in your marriage. My wife was dealing with the same issue of painful intercourse. This was caused by the early onset of menopause after her hysterectomy. She didn't communicate with me or let me know what was going on, she just tried to avoid situations that would result in intimacy. If she sensed I was trying to be romantic or seduce her she would find something to start a fight about or find something to do so we would be to busy. Eventually our sex life stopped. Obviously she had achieved her ends and wasn't in the position to be hurt anymore but in doing so I felt completely rejected.

It destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I simply thought she wasn't attracted to me anymore. I spent a couple years thinking this way until I finally brought up the subject about divorce. I told her that I would spare her the pain of being married to some troll that she finds so hideous that she can't bring herself to touching anymore.

Only then did se finally tell me what the problem was but by then the psychological damage had already been done. To this day I am still battling those little voices in the back of my head and I still find myself second guessing everything in our relationship. There is more than one way to skin a cat and I'm sure had she just been honest and open with me we could have found ways around this that would satisfy my desire for intimacy and connection while also not putting her in a position to having to endure these painful experiences.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

notmyrealname4 said:


> If the pain shoots up and down from your back to your groin? Could it be bladder or kidney related (UTI, kidney stones).
> 
> Kidney stones result in not being able to get comfortable and having to stand and pace.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately I have had kidney stones before and it's definitely NOT that! Of that I am sure. This is pain that occurs during touch (penetration). Not consistently, although it is getting worse lately.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

kag123 said:


> Unfortunately I have had kidney stones before and it's definitely NOT that! Of that I am sure. This is pain that occurs during touch (penetration). Not consistently, although it is getting worse lately.


If you mentioned the sensation was similar to that of a "Charlie Horse" and that you also experience this during visits to the gynecologist for standard exams, let me ask you a question... Can you recreate this problem alone?

As @Anon Pink mentioned that you should be doing kegels, perhaps you might also want to try doing a few stretches on your own as well. Just as athletes stretch prior to exercising to prevent injuries, perhaps this could help you as well. While I know the idea of asking you to stretch your own vagina sounds rather vulgar, I do NOT intend to come across that way. What I am asking is that perhaps you should try self exploration to accommodate something on your own terms and fully under your control, versus your husband haphazardly penetrating you and thrusting out of excitement. 

Odds are you and your husband could find a means to do some mild stretches as part of foreplay. Even if it is by using coconut oil and having your husband gently and progressively use more fingers to insure there is no discomfort before attempting PIV. I'm sure your husband is freaking out at the notion that you may be starting to be afraid to have sex with him. So the idea of asking him to gently help you stretch a little so that the two of you can be very aware of when and how discomfort occurs, this would be extremely helpful for you to share this struggle with him as a way to bring the two of you closer instead of allowing it to push you apart. 

Hope that helps,
Badsanta


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@badsanta isn't far off the base with regard to loosening those muscles before a work out. But you have to see a physical therapist to learn how to isolate the ones that are spas mint.

I have pelvic floor pain, when it started it took almost a year, and every damn test under the freaking sun, before I asked about physical therapy. Got hooked up with an expert in the field, had about 4 sessions and it's no where near what it used to be.

Cause I've got this trusty gadget and I know which muscles are misbehaving.

https://www.therawand.com


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> @badsanta isn't far off the base with regard to loosening those muscles before a work out. *But you have to see a physical therapist* to learn how to isolate the ones that are spas mint.



**Badsanta briefly imagining a career change as said physical therapist**

**Badsanta chuckling at the marketing firm tasked with creating successful ad campaign for said physical therapist**

**Badsanta Googling to see what the websites look like**

OMG... the professional photographer hired for this shoot must have been given really odd instructions for the gig. As in, "we want it to look very comforting for women, so make sure the subjects look very relaxed, but be careful not to have them look like they are smiling or staring into each other's eyes in the ad photo."










"...BUT for older men with urological issues, we do find a mischievous smile, a blushing red face and direct eye contact with a young nurse to be the winning combination!"










Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I have occasional Proctalgia fugax. Google it for an explanation. I almost always get it in the middle of the night, and I can set my watch by it (it lasts almost exactly 20 minutes before it begins to subside). I asked about it before my last colonoscopy, and the colo-rectal doc says it is incredibly common, about half of his patients over 40 have it.

Could your pelvic pain be similar? My wife also has occasional Proctalgia fugax, and she says she can barely tell if the center of her discomfort is in her anus or her vaginal opening. She does say it feels better to have something inserted in her vagina when this happens, and I have been the occasional beneficiary of her having an episode in the middle of the night and asking me for PIV for relief.

Proctalgia fugax in our cases is not brought on by sex or any other particular activity, it just hits out of the blue for no apparent reason.


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## sscygni (Apr 13, 2016)

keeper63 said:


> I have occasional Proctalgia fugax. Google it for an explanation. I almost always get it in the middle of the night, and I can set my watch by it (it lasts almost exactly 20 minutes before it begins to subside). I asked about it before my last colonoscopy, and the colo-rectal doc says it is incredibly common, about half of his patients over 40 have it.
> 
> Proctalgia fugax in our cases is not brought on by sex or any other particular activity, it just hits out of the blue for no apparent reason.


Holy crap it has a name! I used to get this every once in a while. Haven't had a problem for a few years, but it honestly never occurred to me that it is common and named...


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

keeper63 said:


> I have occasional Proctalgia fugax. Google it for an explanation. I almost always get it in the middle of the night, and I can set my watch by it (it lasts almost exactly 20 minutes before it begins to subside). I asked about it before my last colonoscopy, and the colo-rectal doc says it is incredibly common, about half of his patients over 40 have it.
> 
> Could your pelvic pain be similar? My wife also has occasional Proctalgia fugax, and she says she can barely tell if the center of her discomfort is in her anus or her vaginal opening. She does say it feels better to have something inserted in her vagina when this happens, and I have been the occasional beneficiary of her having an episode in the middle of the night and asking me for PIV for relief.
> 
> Proctalgia fugax in our cases is not brought on by sex or any other particular activity, it just hits out of the blue for no apparent reason.


Yikes that sounds unpleasant!

This is not random, only brought on by being touched a certain way (by who or what doesn't matter). And not consistent. It is getting more consistent lately but used to happen only occasionally. 

This started happening after having my first child. TMI but I had a third degree tear that required a cosmetic surgeon to accompany my OB and fix it right after delivery. It took over an hour and I was awake for it. Ouch is an understatement. 

After that I had a lot of sensitivity around the scar area. It felt like when you get a tooth drilled, like touching a nerve. It took about a year for that sensitivity to go away. Now the same area is what is bothering me. It seems when I am touched there it sets off some kind of muscle spasm. Very painful. A Charlie horse is the closest thing I can describe it to. Not 100% of the time.


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