# Introduction



## DN117 (7 mo ago)

Hello there. Looking for some advice and support - in short my wife is dealing with a lot of anxiety/depression as well as past emotional/spiritual trauma and I’m trying to help all I can without being sucked down by negativity.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hello and welcome


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I hate to say this, but your wife seems to have some severe mental issues and REALLY REALLY needs to see a therapist.
You could perhaps approach it with "honey, don't you WANT to feel good? With ll this stuff bothering you, just talking to someone who is a neutral 3rd party could help you....."

JUST in case, you may want to get some of her rants on video...


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Why couldn't you each attend different churches if that would make her happy? Look at it this way, it would give you a break. 

Also you have a 10-month-old daughter, so I'm guessing that both of you are kind of exhausted and maybe short-tempered because of it. 

You could go to marriage counseling that did not at all involve any church. A real psychologist marriage counselor.


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## DN117 (7 mo ago)

Edited


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

@DN117 - She might have chosen you to escape something in her past but it’s not working. What she’s demonstrating to you may have nothing to do with you. You’ve simply reached the end of her patience, her timeline for allowing her to believe that she has succeeded in moving on from something very troubling in her past. Long way of saying it’s not you. You can’t fix her. She might seem better for a while but she’ll keep coming back to her own center.

I believe there are some people for whom marriage is an act of completion; they can become whole, healed, a better person than they were before. But not many. Quite a few marry thinking it’s an escape from a past they don’t want to think about. And the very fact that they don’t want to think about it means it will never be processed in a healthy manner. She is stuck.

Maybe.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

DN117 said:


> I have a hard time making her happy ...


It's neither your job or responsibility to "make" her happy. Your wife is in DIRE need of help which you cannot give her. 



DN117 said:


> She has been getting angry at me saying she married me because she thought I should want to do everything with her and be emotionally available to talk about her feelings for hours during the day. She wants me to be her husband and best “girl friend”,


Sigh. Yet another woman who wants to make a man into her best gf. Don't enable her by trying to fit that category. Your wife's expectations of what you should be doing as her husband are unrealistic, and quite honestly sound downright nuts to me. 

AGAIN ...Tell her you're not her gf and she needs to get into some sort of counseling NOW.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

DN117 said:


> She is 110% comprised of raw emotion: she is never just a little happy, or a little sad, or a little irritated by something - she walks around maxed out happy, or sad, or angry about something. She has been on a three-day blowup fest.


She sounds like she might be bipolar:








Bipolar disorder - Symptoms and causes







www.mayoclinic.org




This type of manic mood swings are a good indicator -- of course I am NOT a professional, but she should be seen by one to be evaluated.


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## DN117 (7 mo ago)

Edited


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I’m reading really really long posts where two things are standing out. 

1. You post a lot about how bad your wife is. Couldn’t read all of that, so long and detailed.

2. You post a lot about how important church and your dad is and what a good guy you are, being all helpful and committed to church and all.

Two questions: 1. Are you helping your wife much? You seem really busy. And don’t mention your daughter all that much.

2. Have you met a nice lady at church? Or friendly with lots of ladies at church that might need your help a lot?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

At first blush, I too, see symptoms of _bi-polar disorder_.

You described well, that mania and depression cycling.

{If she hallucinates, has severe delusions, or loses her ability to function, this would indicate schizophrenia}.

................................................................

She needs professional help, badly.

Be strong for your little girl. 

I wish the best for you, in dealing with her.

If she refuses help, you may have to reconsider your marriage.


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## DN117 (7 mo ago)

Edited


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