# What should i do? What would you do?



## Sotiredofit (Feb 21, 2012)

Hello everyone this is my first post. Im 29 years old and have 2 AWESOME kids, a daughter and a son. My wife and I have been married for 5 years and its been difficult. Basically since day one we have had trust issues, she cheated on me before we got married and she has taken money from me. 

For about the past 2 years she had gotten better about lying (or so i thought) she was staying home, helping with the kids, cooking dinner and i was loving it. Until this past weekend. She has a friend, who is a HORRIBLE influence on her. Ive told my wife how much i dislike her spending time with this friend but she always ends up defending her. This friend went from having a college degree and married with 2 kids, to divorced, jobless, kids got taken away, moneyless and HOMELESS. Despite all this my wife would always say what a good person she was and just struggling, which i knew was not the truth. 

This past weekend i get a call from my sister in law, she informs me that my wife was not only still hanging around this "friend" but she was taking money out of MY bank account and giving it to this friend and also she had gotten into cocaine with this friend too. Im a very loving forgiving guy and this is about the 4th time this has happened. 

I love my wife, but im to the point that im tired of all her lies. Im living paycheck to paycheck and trying to make ends meet with my family while she is working against me. Of course when i confront her about this she starts crying and saying "im so sorry, ill stop talking to her i promise". She says this everytime and like an idiot, i believe her everytime. 

Is it time to move on? If she would just stop and start giving a crap about her family i would be fine. but i dont know or think this will happen. Just need advice. Thanks.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

drugs = bad, especially with young kids.

She cleans up her act and fast or you take the kids and she stays with the homeless friend.


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## Sotiredofit (Feb 21, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> drugs = bad, especially with young kids.
> 
> She cleans up her act and fast or you take the kids and she stays with the homeless friend.



Yes, they are horrible, im an anti-drug person if you will. My father was a police officer and ive seen first hand what that stuff will do to you and your life. Thats why im so against it. 

Ive told her that, many times. Either get your **it together or you are out. She says "ok ok ok im so sorry" but it doesnt stop. Im an IT guy and i try to respect her privacy but its kinda hard when i know i could see every single text she says or anything she does on the internet. 

Based off others expirence, will she stop? or am i spinning my wheels?


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Give her a time limit, you have until this date. If she don't stop, you and the kids will move on without her.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

file for divorce...retract if she changes...

Also is she doing drugs too? how much money are we talking about here?


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## Sotiredofit (Feb 21, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> file for divorce...retract if she changes...
> 
> Also is she doing drugs too? how much money are we talking about here?


Over the course of a 2 years. Thousands, i dont know how much that crap costs but she would use almost $400 a month with ATM withdrawls. Some of that may have been gas or food, but then why not use the credit card? Because i can see every transaction on the statement. 

Oh and by the way, she does not work. Ive explained how much i need her to help me out with the bills and she always says shes looking and cant find anything. The economy here in the midwest is not that bad. I was out of work for literally 2days befor i found another. She hasnt found one in 4.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

4years?

I think you should atleast file. If you don't, you will only continue enabling her. She needs to realize the gravity of the situation.File for divorce and expect to go through with it unless she makes the necessary changes?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Decide what your boundary is, and tell her. Then stick to it no matter what! She has learned that you don't really mean what you say because you keep letting her stay when she is a repeat offender.


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## Speed (Dec 9, 2011)

She is a druggie, thief, liar and a leech. Divorce her. 



No one gets better about lying.. they just get better at lying.


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