# Caught my wife lying today



## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

So around a year or so ago now my wife told me that she was going out for a work leaving do lunch for a guy called Frank, who has been part of the team for a long time. Turns out he now still works at the company as she mentioned him on the phone to her colleagues saying "Yes, I will get Frank to sort that out"... so given only 1 Frank is in her team, he doesn't seem to have left the company at all.

Not sure what to think about this, but feel bitterly disappointed. Any advice?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Did he leave the company or just her group? In my company we might do lunch if the person left the group. 

Was the lunch just him and your wife?

Also sometimes people return to old job after leaving. 

Did you ask her rather than worry?


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Ok...so I don't understand.
Do you think something might happen with frank or is? Has she lied about other things in the past? Do you think the lunch with frank was a cover for something else? Way too vague. Need some more background as to why you find this so alarming. 
Maybe they coincidentally hired someone else called frank?



Sent from my iPhone


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## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

Ok let me try and explain this in more detail. I am 95% sure around 9 months ago my wife said "Frank" was leaving the team and the company after having worked there for a long time. Today she is working from home and I overheard her say "I'll get Frank to do that" now the team is relatively small, maybe only 7 people in the actual team itself and she never mentioned someone new called Frank joining, so that's out of the question as she always tells me.

Having said he was leaving, and now it appears he is still part of the team has left me thinking she's lied to me. I believe at the time the entire team went out for a lunch as part of the leaving do. The reason I find it alarming is because if Frank still works at her workplace then she clearly didn't go on a leaving do lunch for Frank right?

Asked her but she denied he ever left???


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Could you have heard the name wrong nine months ago..they went to a lunch for someone else perhaps?
I see how'd you be upset about her lying...totally get that but is there something that has happened in the the past that would make what could be a simple misunderstanding put you on your guard?


Sent from my iPhone


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Well, there is not enough information here to really offer any real clear advice, but there is a red flag, and the important thing is that you need to decide if you react or do not.

Two choices
(1) play ostrich, make believe you are delusional, and hope like hell it is nothing
(2) put your ear to the ground and do some investigating, yes snooping, to find out who the hell Frank is, where he really works and what is going on at her job.

Should you choose option 1, good luck. Hope we do not read that this was a bad choice.

If you choose option 2, I would start with backtracking to if she has take any trips without you, has had any disappearances with no explanation, and then check your cell phone records. There is a lot more you can do but that could be a start.

There is no way there can be any confusion as to whether or not this guy has or does still work there.


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## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

It was 100% Frank I can remember because the name is quite distinctive. Well that's almost impossible as I have only met a couple of people from her work once in 10 years. It's on a business park all locked up so almost impossible to get any information from.


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

marriedman1983 said:


> It was 100% Barry I can remember because the name is quite distinctive. Well that's almost impossible as I have only met a couple of people from her work once in 10 years. It's on a business park all locked up so almost impossible to get any information from.




What did your wife say when you asked her?


Sent from my iPhone


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## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

citygirl4344 said:


> What did your wife say when you asked her?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone


She just said she never went on a leaving do for Frank, but I am positive she did. Surely my mind isn't making things up? Leaving me feeling a bit uncomfortable to be honest.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Married Man,

Please do not use the word impossible to find out anything. No, you cannot invade her office park. 

So, start with the cell phone records as I said. Look for an unusual K number that repeats a lot.

Then google " signs your wife is cheating" and do some question answering as to if any of the other red flags are present.

Just for starters
(1) is her phone always attached to her hip
(2) is she secretive and does she have all her passwords only to herself
(3) has she become more distant
(4) how is your sex life.??? 
(5) is she constantly making excuses to go out without you
(6) is she coming home late constantly from work
(7) check credit card receipts
(8) is she dressing any differently when going to work
(9) is she "grooming" herself any differently"

Those are just starters. If you do not like your answers to these, then you can move to a GPS on her car or a VAR for a total of less than $100.

Just do not use the word impossible. Only impossible if you do not want to make the effort. The most dangerous thing in your current situation is remaining in total denial for too long.

Women enter affairs primarily for emotional reasons before the sex starts. And once that happens it is harder to stop, especially if it is at work. So I just suggest you make an error on the side of caution.

She has lied to you about another man unless you cannot hear. That kind of lie is not like forgetting to do something.

Do not assume she would never cheat on you. And do not confront her without taking some steps to snoop because all you will do then is tell her to go further underground if something is going on.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

marriedman1983 said:


> So around a year or so ago now my wife told me that she was going out for a work leaving do lunch for a guy called *Frank*, who has been part of the team for a long time. Turns out he now still works at the company as she mentioned him on the phone to her colleagues saying "Yes, I will get Frank to sort that out"... so given only 1 Frank is in her team, he doesn't seem to have left the company at all.
> 
> Not sure what to think about this, but feel bitterly disappointed. Any advice?





marriedman1983 said:


> She just said she never went on a leaving do for *Barry*, but I am positive she did. Surely my mind isn't making things up? Leaving me feeling a bit uncomfortable to be honest.


Lol. So which is it, Frank or Barry? 

_Me thinks this one lives under a bridge _


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## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

Lila said:


> Lol. So which is it, Frank or Barry?
> 
> _Me thinks this one lives under a bridge _


LOL sorry "Frank" hahah I'm getting confused, but yes 100% FRANK


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## marriedman1983 (Jun 24, 2016)

Another thing was finding the app Viber on her phone, but she swears she had no idea how it got there, weird huh?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I would be confused, too. Frank and Barry sound so much alike.


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## LadybugMomma (Apr 28, 2016)

marriedman1983 said:


> Ok let me try and explain this in more detail. I am 95% sure around 9 months ago my wife said "Frank" was leaving the team and the company after having worked there for a long time. Today she is working from home and I overheard her say "I'll get Frank to do that" now the team is relatively small, maybe only 7 people in the actual team itself and she never mentioned someone new called Frank joining, so that's out of the question as she always tells me.
> 
> Having said he was leaving, and now it appears he is still part of the team has left me thinking she's lied to me. I believe at the time the entire team went out for a lunch as part of the leaving do. The reason I find it alarming is because if Frank still works at her workplace then she clearly didn't go on a leaving do lunch for Frank right?
> 
> Asked her but she denied he ever left???


How is your marriage over all? Are there any other reasons to believe she lied or things she's done for you to question her faithfulness?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Lila said:


> Lol. So which is it, Frank or Barry?
> 
> _Me thinks this one lives under a bridge _




Frank/Barry ....WTH is a "leaving do"?


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

kristin2349 said:


> Frank/Barry ....WTH is a "leaving do"?


A celebration for someone who was well liked or tenured in a organization (large or small) when they leave the office or place of business.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

marriedman1983 said:


> Another thing was finding the app Viber on her phone, but she swears she had no idea how it got there, weird huh?


You have to definitely download Viber on a phone. 
Unless one of your kids downloaded it for her or something like that. 
Why are you suspicious now? 
Have you had any other little things that have happened to make you feel this way? 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

I hope it's a misunderstanding.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Unless she is showing other red flags that there could be something going on, I think you need to let it go. Sounds like a miscommunication.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

You honestly believe she has no idea how that app got on her phone???

Please tell me you think it is a little more than "weird".

Now that she knows you have seen it, if I were you I would start looking for a second phone, or see if she now becomes very guarded with this phone.

I suggest you do not sit there and ponder this for too long.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

marriedman1983 said:


> Another thing was finding the app Viber on her phone, but she swears she had no idea how it got there, weird huh?



No, it is there to text with Frank.




Pinksapphire said:


> I hope it's a misunderstanding.



Downloading Viper is not misunderstanding.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

marriedman1983 said:


> Ok let me try and explain this in more detail. I am 95% sure around 9 months ago my wife said "Frank" was leaving the team and the company after having worked there for a long time. Today she is working from home and I overheard her say "I'll get Frank to do that" now the team is relatively small, maybe only 7 people in the actual team itself and she never mentioned someone new called Frank joining, so that's out of the question as she always tells me.
> 
> Having said he was leaving, and now it appears he is still part of the team has left me thinking she's lied to me. I believe at the time the entire team went out for a lunch as part of the leaving do. The reason I find it alarming is because if Frank still works at her workplace then she clearly didn't go on a leaving do lunch for Frank right?
> 
> Asked her but she denied he ever left???


Unless Frank is now a consultant?


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Unless Frank is now a consultant?


Oh now he has us all curious about Frank consultant or not


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