# Another BJ Thread



## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Hey Guys,
I was wondering if there is anyone else out there that has trouble coming on a BJ. I have seldom come on a BJ and sometimes that how my wife wants to finish me. I can get to where I am very close during intercourse, but when we switch and she goes down on me, the sensation diminishes.
It's not been a big problem, she just wants to return the oral favor.

An ideas?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I would love to figure that one out too.

I take forever to get off orally and I`m afraid my wifes going to lock her jaw up one day.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

...at least I feel better knowing it's common among men for it to take longer. 

I thought I must not be doing it right


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Get the "How to be a Great Lover" book by Lou Paget.

Filled with "hand" techniques to prepare the field for harvest.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Peachy Cat said:


> ...at least I feel better knowing it's common among men for it to take longer.
> 
> I thought I must not be doing it right


See thats what my wife thinks too.

She gives me the best head I`ve ever gotten because I`ve spent 14 years teaching what I like.

None of this matters because I rarely orgasm from oral because it takes FOREVER.
Since I rarely get off she figures she just sucks at it (pun intended).

When I tell her she`s wrong, she thinks I`m being kind to her, when I tell her no woman ever got me off quickly orally, she thinks I`m being kind to her.

The only solution would be to find a way to orgasm as quickly as possible,,,that she`d believe.

I did get off one time about a year ago in about a minute flat when she woke me up with oral.
Don`t know why it happened or how it happened but you`d have thought she found the key to the universe from the self satisfied smile on her face.

See, I think if I could get off quicker she`d feel better about her performance and then of course I`d get more BJ`s.

I`m not suffering now but more never hurts.

I`d also really like her to be more confident about her abilities because she is good..damn good at it but like I said....that`s just me being kind.

:scratchhead:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Get the "How to be a Great Lover" book by Lou Paget.
> 
> Filled with "hand" techniques to prepare the field for harvest.


Lol

My wife thinks using her hands is cheating.

AAAARGGHhhh!

She drives me nuts.

I will check out the book though, thanks.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Tacoma,

In that same book, it gives the "giver" the advice of how to use their hands "during" to great effect.

My wife used to say she felt like it was "cheating"

B.S.... makes it fantastic - and quick.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Tacoma,
> 
> In that same book, it gives the "giver" the advice of how to use their hands "during" to great effect.


I`m Googling it now.




> My wife used to say she felt like it was "cheating"
> 
> B.S.... makes it fantastic - and quick.


I know but she thinks. .."I`m being kind"

Frustrating.

Thanks!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

it takes me longer than with intercourse, but i usually have to warn my wife cause she dont play dat if you know what i mean


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Men spend a lifetime learning how to hold back so they don't seem like 2 pump chumps. Then are confused when they can't cum on a dime for oral. Seems like it's all about relaxing and letting it happen. Or maybe it feels so good that you want it to last a long time. Just seems like women read too much into this stuff.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

I've wondered, too, if men might purposely make it take a long time because they like it so much...?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

haha, well, yes. And on behalf of all men.....sorry about that.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

No problem here....she touches it....the timer starts...doesn't matter if it's her hand, mouth, or genitals....never been able to just "hold it back".....


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

DanF said:


> Hey Guys,
> I was wondering if there is anyone else out there that has trouble coming on a BJ. I have seldom come on a BJ and sometimes that how my wife wants to finish me. I can get to where I am very close during intercourse, but when we switch and she goes down on me, the sensation diminishes.
> It's not been a big problem, she just wants to return the oral favor.
> 
> An ideas?


Tell her to beat it like a red-headed step child in K-mart. If that doesn't work, I got nothin.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

DanF said:


> Hey Guys,
> I was wondering if there is anyone else out there that has trouble coming on a BJ. I have seldom come on a BJ and sometimes that how my wife wants to finish me.


Dude....


YOU HAVE THE GREATEST WIFE IN THE WORLD!!!!


As much as a freak as my STBXW was, she only let me finish in her mouth once or twice.

You may be my new hero....:smnotworthy:


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

bandit.45 said:


> Dude....
> 
> 
> YOU HAVE THE GREATEST WIFE IN THE WORLD!!!!
> ...


I do have the greatest wife in the world. I KNOW how lucky I am...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

My husband finds it hard to come with BJ's. I find that licking and sucking the head of his penis helps a great deal...sometimes he will breathlessly tell me to stop when I am giving a BJ during foreplay. My hubby would rather come inside me during sex.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i have been able to from start to finish only once.
i have several times with sex and finish with bj.
i dont know of any tips. she was just most awesome at it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I'm always amazed by the number of men who say that their wives/women letting them finish in their mouths is/was rare. Having your man cum in your mouth is an awesome feeling.
> 
> As far as finishing, I just keep going hard and fast until we have blast off.


I was wrong.

YOU are the most awesome wife in the world!!!

:allhail:


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I'm always amazed by the number of men who say that their wives/women letting them finish in their mouths is/was rare. Having your man cum in your mouth is an awesome feeling.
> 
> As far as finishing, I just keep going hard and fast until we have blast off.


Blessed be the wives who suck their husbands off, for they shall be known as the queens of all they surveyed.

Blessed be the husbands who drink plenty of pineapple juice, for they shall deposit sweet honey inside their wives mouths.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

I shared this in another bj thread, but holy crap, last night...

Wife worked the late shift and I was asleep when she got home. She woke me up with the best BJ she's ever given me, completely out of the blue, unsolicited and unprovoked. Which is the best kind of bj a man can receive, imho.

I rarely get to finish in her mouth anymore, but when she's in the right mood her technique is exquisite. After I finished I rinsed off and proceeded to screw her with my semi-hard member until she came. For some reason she's more responsive down there when I have a semi... 

To answer the op.. I rarely have trouble cumming from a bj, but I don't often get the chance to because like most wives, my wife prefers me to finish inside her. And once I start penetrating I don't get to go back in her mouth. That drives me crazy.. I like to switch back and forth. So DanF, you are definitely lucky.


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## rider (Jun 22, 2009)

+2 on the hands. Both of them working up and down and twisting in opposite directions.

69 too, the combination of her noises and her sucking will do it for me in seconds.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Ok, all of us men who want to clone women like LadyFrogFlyAway raise your hands. Ok LadyFrogFlyAway, it's unanimous, you are officially the template for the ideal woman.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

morituri said:


> Ok, all of us men who want to clone women like LadyFrogFlyAway raise your hands. Ok LadyFrogFlyAway, it's unanimous, you are officially the template for the ideal woman.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
:woohoo::woohoo::woohoo:


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> LMAO. Hardly perfect. My dh would have a few things to say, I'm sure.


Hey we're not stealing the original, the one and only, from him. We're just making copies, that's all. But what if it backfires and they all end up wanting to be with him as well. The poor guy would have an army of women out to suck him dry  Come to think of it, that's not a bad way to leave this world, for a guy that is.  



> I don't know, I just like giving him bj's, and it really creams my bagel to watch my man lose control like that. It's cool, ya know, kind of like watching a volcano blow...you know it's gonna hurt if the lava lands in your eye, but it's worth the risk to see it. :rofl:
> 
> Anyway, I'd much rather have cum in my mouth than oatmeal, even the flavored stuff.


He's a lucky man, I hope he knows it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

> I don't know, I just like giving him bj's, and it really creams my bagel to watch my man lose control like that. It's cool, ya know, kind of like watching a volcano blow...you know it's gonna hurt if the lava lands in your eye, but it's worth the risk to see it.
> 
> Anyway, I'd much rather have cum in my mouth than oatmeal, even the flavored stuff.





I Love You Lady Frog.....


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

> it really creams my bagel


that is *classic* LadyFrog! :lol:


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

im now completely depressed


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

nader said:


> I shared this in another bj thread, but holy crap, last night...
> 
> Wife worked the late shift and I was asleep when she got home. She woke me up with the best BJ she's ever given me, completely out of the blue, unsolicited and unprovoked. Which is the best kind of bj a man can receive, imho.


after work, she told me that last night was fun, and that she wants to do it again tonight, and the next night, and the next night, because she saw how happy it made me.

I'm going to try to stay cool about it and not pester her, but this was a *huge* encouragement to me. She should be home in a few minutes...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Quick! Pretend you're sleeping.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I ordered the books that were mentioned earlier. I'll read them on my next trip offshore and send pertinent passages home.

Thanks!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

daffodilly said:


> Glad it's not just me that can't get DH to finish with a BJ. It has happened very occasionally, but it's rare. Frustrates the hell out of me...he gets close then has to interject with his hands and then I take it in when he's coming. But I always feel like a failure!


not even close to failure!
a wife willing to do this and WANTING to do this is far from a failure for not being able to.

i think its a pretty rare thing at all for probably most anyone.

sound like a winner to me.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

For purposes of protocol, I'm relocating this to the Sex section. No issues with the thread itself, and did want to leave it in the clubhouse for a few days, given that the question is well ... gender dependent.


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## Eco (Mar 9, 2012)

DanF said:


> Hey Guys,
> I was wondering if there is anyone else out there that has trouble coming on a BJ. I have seldom come on a BJ and sometimes that how my wife wants to finish me. I can get to where I am very close during intercourse, but when we switch and she goes down on me, the sensation diminishes.
> It's not been a big problem, she just wants to return the oral favor.
> 
> An ideas?


I'm 34, been with 6 women, 5 were long term relationships, and I've NEVER reached a climax from oral sex. I've enjoyed blowjobs, no doubt, and sometimes I've "tried" but it's just not for me. I have noticed that some people are better at it than others, but I think that most of the reason that I don't climax from it is because what I want is to be inside her someplace else, and usually a bj only serves to increase that desire.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

The only person to give me a BJ has been my wife, and I've never climaxed from it.

Not sure if it's from her own lack of experience (I like that I'm her one and only) or if it's just me... don't really care to be honest. If it ever happens yay, but if not I'll just enjoy the sensation from time to time.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

Thats strange to hear how many cant climax from oral :scratchhead: I have been with my fair share of people and have yet to leave with an empty "handed"  I enjoy it so much and can go to town for 30mins to 1hour and still want more. I have always tried to be the best at what I do. If i ever left empty "handed" I would feel like I wasnt good enough


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I think you've got to instruct her as to what technique is going to work for you. Tell her what you want her to do. I used to think bjs were crap until I had a good one, and then I started thinking that most girls were just horrible at giving them... until I realized, how are they supposed to know what feels good on a body part they don't have? What's awesome is that the better they think they are at it, the more they want to do it. 

I was with one girl who was a total mouther... thought using hands was ripping me off. Not only did she work her azz off unecessarily, lips alone generally won't give me enough stimulation to get off. What she was doing was what worked for the last guy she was with and she was shocked that I would always move on to something else. Every woman I've been with has wanted to finish me at some point, and if you shut that down you can bet you're not gonna see much more. They don't know what feels good unless you tell them guys, and in my experience women are very receptive to suggestions... just ask them to do something.

For me its all about long strokes of her hand combined with the mouth on the head and a healty amount of saliva. I'm in her mouth, but not terribly deep so its relatively comfortable. The hand comes back up to the lips and then she raises her head so you feel the lips and hand on the upstroke. Variations of how she moves her mouth, suction or lack of, tightened or loosed grip, length of stroke, speed of strokes... ah... I need to stop thinking about this.

Two handed bjs are awesome too, twisting opposite directions as someone described. I'm also big into having her use her other hand to squeeze the base a little... makes everything more intense. That other hand can add a LOT of intensity just by holding the boys, rubbing the thigh or butt (a woman thrusting your hips toward her mouth... ahh).

Different positions make a difference too. Try having her lay on her back, head propped up by pillows while you straddle her with your hands on the head board. She controls the motion not with her neck so much as with a hand on your hips. Or try something like this on all fours instead of holding the headboard. F*cking awesome.

I've probably had more bjs in my life than I've had intercourse. LadyFrog isn't the first woman I've heard say they like giving them and its about the power/control.

I climax virtually every time if I've said what I like. In my experience about 50% will let you go in their mouth (awesome), and of those maybe a third will swallow occassionally.

I've recently discovered an entirely new feeling during orgasms from oral. Instead of just shooting into her mouth, having her add some suction as if you're a straw is unbelievable.

Woo... its hot in here... now I need a bj.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

Dammit DVLS! I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff during business hours!

I prefer less hands, or else my wife hasn't learned some of that advanced hand stuff yet. She is a bit squeamish about too much saliva, so I don't try to force anything. I'm always pushing her hands away bc I want her to get more creative with her mouth. I like one hand cupping my balls/pressing up against the taint region as sort of an 'anchor,' the other hand maybe adding some extra texture here and there, but the lips/tongue are the key players for me.

But whatever it is she's doing down there, it gets better every time. Her technique is exquisite, and I tell her all the time - in hopes of getting more!


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> Glad it's not just me that can't get DH to finish with a BJ. It has happened very occasionally, but it's rare. Frustrates the hell out of me...he gets close then has to interject with his hands and then I take it in when he's coming. But I always feel like a failure!


That's not a failure. Sounds to me like he has a thing for watching it go in your mouth. Very popular in porn.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I prefer a man to take control of the pace myself, which is why I'd rather he was on top or grabbing my hair and controlling it that way

if he wants to pull out when he's going to come don't let him, grab his a*s, pull him in further, suck it and wild horses won't be able to drag him away

but then I'm a swallower, I guess a lot of chicks just aren't - madness, there's nothing like it

now I want to do it!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> I prefer a man to take control of the pace myself, which is why I'd rather he was on top or grabbing my hair and controlling it that way
> 
> if he wants to pull out when he's going to come don't let him, grab his a*s, pull him in further, suck it and wild horses won't be able to drag him away
> 
> ...


 OMG!!!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That's not a failure. Sounds to me like he has a thing for watching it go in your mouth.* Very popular in porn.*


PORN HELL!!!
thats what i love IRL.
that and looking in her eyes, yum


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I like him to take control sometimes, well all the time but then, it is not about me. When it is a "all about you babe bj" I control. When it is oral for both of us, I like him to move while I lay on a pillow. Took trial and error to get it right. 

Are there other woman who like their partner to take control?. It may be preferable for woman who have performance anxiety. 

You have to make sure to let her control the depth while you control the pace. She uses her hands on the shaft so it is not all mouth.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> You have to make sure to let her control the depth while you control the pace. She uses her hands on the shaft so it is not all mouth.


Worded perfectly. And this takes much less time than intercourse.. at least it does when I do it this way. 

Some poor soul that I date in the future is going to BJburntout. I miss it very much.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Urine is sterile.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Women who won't give bj's don't know what they're missing and it's their big fat ugly loss.
> 
> They can't have a pee-pee in their mouth. It might have germs.


In fairness there are women that have reasons/hang ups that are more than just this. 

I agree that giving my man pleasure is a wonderful thing. I was unaware that some men don't peak with oral. Mine has to purposefully hold back if he wants to finish with sex otherwise it's simply on and doesn't take long to achieve.

I say this to then write this: I don't think there can be a blanket statement with regards to sexuality. Everyone has their individual approach and concerns and they are valid.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> Are there other woman who like their partner to take control?. It may be preferable for woman who have performance anxiety.
> 
> You have to make sure to let her control the depth while you control the pace. She uses her hands on the shaft so it is not all mouth.


not quite the case for me...it's a bit of a thing of mine to be gagged on it frankly, I like to feel out of control when it comes to depth and pace

and from the previous BJ thread well, we all know what my hands are doing LOL


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I need to take a cold shower....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> She uses her hands on the shaft so it is not all mouth.


get them hands away from there! *slaps her hand*


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> I need to take a cold shower....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My thoughts exactly. Just caught up on this thread. I think I'll just stay seated for a few. No reason to stand up.


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## Eagle441977 (May 7, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> When it is a "all about you babe bj" .


{sarcasm} What is this BJ that you are talking about? .... I have a vague recollection of something like that happening .... Yes... I do remember now...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Eagle441977 (May 7, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I prefer a man to take control of the pace myself, which is why I'd rather he was on top or grabbing my hair and controlling it that way
> 
> if he wants to pull out when he's going to come don't let him, grab his a*s, pull him in further, suck it and wild horses won't be able to drag him away
> 
> ...


Wow....I have to be careful not to break any forum rules, but..... wow!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> My thoughts exactly. Just caught up on this thread. I think I'll just stay seated for a few. No reason to stand up.


I was planning on saying something like "When me and my wife were younger, it took me 45 minutes, but as time..."
Then I read this last page... Massive Mind-Fart.....

Thanks Dolly & Frog... 
Time to harass my Lady now...


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Dayumm, my idiot STBXH needs to read this thread. Someday, something is gonna fall on his head (the one with the brain inside) and he'll finally realize I wasn't such a bad wife after all, if you know what I'm referring to. Just sayin...


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

word.

I'm still  at the idea of actually asking a man to stop before he comes in your mouth so you can get a tissue or running to the sink before spitting it out leaving him laying there! Talk about kill the moment

do I recall a snowballing thread recently? that was hilarious, seems to have disappeared


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Dollystanford said:


> do I recall a snowballing thread recently? that was hilarious, seems to have disappeared


I now believe we will see another one in the near future....


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> word.
> 
> I'm still  at the idea of actually asking a man to stop before he comes in your mouth so you can get a tissue or running to the sink before spitting it out leaving him laying there! Talk about kill the moment
> 
> do I recall a snowballing thread recently? that was hilarious, seems to have disappeared


The best snowballing gag was on the movie "Clerks." Did you see that one? Funnier than hell.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

Game of Thrones had a really disturbing snowballing moment a few episodes back. My wife and I were like.. whaaaat?? :lol:



nader said:


> after work, she told me that last night was fun, and that she wants to do it again tonight, and the next night, and the next night, because she saw how happy it made me.
> 
> I'm going to try to stay cool about it and not pester her, but this was a *huge* encouragement to me. She should be home in a few minutes...



sigh... I'm starting to think she was just saying that.


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## marriedwithkids1 (Nov 10, 2010)

I think that one of the most helpful things you can do is to watch your H J/O to see what technique works for him. I think the the proper use of the hands is critical.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I have been thinking a lot about your post, heartsbeating, and I think I know what you are driving at.
> 
> I need to make crystal clear that in cases of women who have issues stemming from rape, molestation or other forced sexual circumstances, all bets are off.
> 
> ...


oh my whiskers..! It makes me purr inside to know that you have been thinking about my posts. Yes, I think it's important to remember that men and women who read this board might be struggling with certain aspects of their lives/sex lives and comments can become misconstrued. I'm not saying that's your problem. I'm not suggesting we be overly sensitive about what we want to say either. But after reading certain threads here where it's not just the case of being able to enjoy this sexual act, I felt the need to make my point too.

It's my feeling that in many cases there also comes chicken-egg. I love to go down on my H because I feel trust and respect with him. That, along with my own lack of inhibitions, allows me to be open with him and enjoy such things. It does start to take the thread in a different tangent though. Please forgive me, DanF. 

LFFA - you have wisely posted before that "attitude is sexy" - and where does a willing and sexy attitude stem from? 

I also think (watch out, I apparently have opinions today!) that there might be reasons (rightly or wrongly and not to be confused with excuses) as to _why_ a woman deems her sex life to not be a priority anymore. Perhaps that feeling can fluctuate, but I also think there's responsibility on the man to make the necessary changes for himself...and preferably in a supportive healthy way for the relationship. I never feel like "those" women give others a bad name. I think there can be either lack of understanding or willingness. Both can be adjusted if desired.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I am referring _strictly_ to women who marry, then because _they_ decide that sex isn't important, their man is supposed to accept it, no questions asked, if he's miserable with a life of celibacy in which he has no say, oh well, yet he is to remain completely faithful and continue to treat her like a queen.
> 
> That's the attitude I have a huge problem with.


Do you have a problem with the attitude of the Queen who dictates this? Or the man who allows it to happen?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I can't get into this right now. I am battling a funk where I am questioning my own attractiveness, and I am not expressing myself well at all. It's not a good time.
> 
> When I'm feeling better I'll start a new thread and we'll talk.


No worries... and I hope you didn't interpret this as me challenging you into debate. I was more just posing my thoughts as questions and considerations. 

You questioning your own attractiveness?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I can't get into this right now. I am battling a funk where I am questioning my own attractiveness, and I am not expressing myself well at all. It's not a good time.
> 
> When I'm feeling better I'll start a new thread and we'll talk.


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

do you ever help her out by doing some of the moving? it's all about friction, right? if she cant go fast enough or get enough friction on her own.. do a little thrusting. i know if my hubs didnt try and choke me i'd be there ALL night/day!! i've never had a problem.. but i let him grab me or put me where i need to be to "make things happen".


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I love this thread.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

cory275 said:


> do you ever help her out by doing some of the moving? it's all about friction, right? if she cant go fast enough or get enough friction on her own.. do a little thrusting. i know if my hubs didnt try and choke me i'd be there ALL night/day!! i've never had a problem.. but i let him grab me or put me where i need to be to "make things happen".


Sometimes it's less physically draining (jaw pain, neck pain) if he helps by thrusting. He can move faster, and more in the way he needs it, than I can.

I have noticed, too, that if I get a good rhythm going and he's really reacting in a great, building up way, to keep that same rhythm and action going... if I change it up, he loses it a bit and we have to start rebuilding (and sometimes that's physically difficult for me).


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