# Thinking of changing careers with less pay- don't know how my husband will react...



## RachelLaura (Dec 15, 2009)

I am currently teaching in an inner city school and I hate it. The job is making me miserable. I deal with violence, yelling, and fighting on a daily basis. It is sucking the life out of me. My husband knows how much I hate it, but he doesnt really think my tribulations are a huge deal because hates his job as well. He just thinks that you should stay in a job if its steady and will pay the bills even if you hate it. He is the kind of person who always "does the right thing" and follows a straight path and doesnt take huge risks. He is VERY responsible with money and anal about it.

Both of our salaries are contributing to paying our mortgage and bills. I have not quit my job in fear of being financially unstable. But I have always always had a dream of being a children's book illustrator and selling my artwork. I have had a few projects start up recently and they are really taking off and I have had some nice successes. I am beginning to daydream about quitting teaching and pursuing my dreams of illustrating books and selling my work, something I always wanted to do.

However, this line of work is not stable, and I havent been able to tell my husband about the thoughts I am having... because he is so anal about money and will probably think I shouldnt take this risk. I really am honestly scared to tell him about what I have been considering. I want this so badly, and will do whatever I can to make it work........ I love creating, I have the talent, and I am so miserbale doing something I know is all wrong for me.... but since he is so "by the book" I am worried he will crush my dreams and tell me its not realistic.

My job is eating away at me and making my depressed. I really do not think teaching is the right field for me. If I stay in teaching, I will stay miserable, but will be able to pay the bills. But I will always wonder "what if" and wish I had taken a risk. If I take the risk and struggle paying bills at all, I think my husband will freak out on me. 

I am being too selfish in wanting to change careers and take this risk??? We have only been married a year. I want us to be financially stable, but at the same time, my mental health has taken a beating. Me being depressed has not contributed well to our marriage either. Any advice would be much appreciated.


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## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

I don't think you're being selfish, but I don't believe in quitting something stable until you have something stable, or semi-stable to move on to.

Being a teacher, I assume you will have the summer months off. Can you focus on your dream right now, do what you need to do in your off hours, and totally devote your summer time off, while keeping your day job? Maybe once you have some somewhat steady income from your dream job and you have spent your extra time and summer vacation working towards a goal you can talk to your husband about it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Yeah, artistry is something you should be tackling on the side, unless you're a 20 year old with no expenses and don't mind living in someone's attic for a few years.

There's nothing wrong with having a plan. I know plenty of people who start second careers, but they don't do it unless they have no bills or else have a way to make an income in the second career. Being an artist is something you have to build up - it takes tons of applying, rejection letters, and perseverence. 

So go ahead and work on it, but be smart about it.


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## steve71 (Feb 5, 2010)

Hi RachelLaura

I'd suggest spending some time researching your options. you might check up on

1: the possibility of teaching part-time at first

2: involving hubby in a positive way...if he's well-organized maybe he can look into business issues. You'll need his moral support and maybe financial support too at times.

3: spend all eternity researching potential clients for your kind of work

4: track down professional organisations in your specialism, see what support and protection they offer and join a good one

5: learn about copyright law

6: expect your income to be erratic

7: get to know a couple of folk who are already making out and pick their brains like mad!

If, after all that, this doesn't seem like the right time to take a chance you'll have learnt how to approach it again in the future. Good luck!


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

all the above are correct and great... just wanted to add if you are not happy i am sure it is caring over to your family life... and not in a possitive way.  i would suggest writing down pros and cons and what net you have for paying bills before you make the change and what adjustments in life will you have to do because of the pay difference only go out 1 day a wk instead of more or buy the movie rather than go to the see it on the big screen.. 

also make sure all big purchases are made or mixed in you money plan during the making of your list... some you can't come up with but things like your car is on the last leg so you may want to do the credit buy (if you can afford) now showing your larger income then make sure a smart purchase you can afford with your smaller income... 

peace of mind is golden.


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## bigspender (Apr 4, 2010)

I understand how you feel. The stress brought about by the negative scenarios in school can affect your family. However, as you also said, you are considering the current financial situation. 

I also agree with *turnera*, you can start on your second career while school is off. When the time comes that you have found the stability in this career, then that will be the time to leave your teaching job.


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## Newlywed123 (Jun 26, 2012)

Dont be miserable! Apply for other jobs, when something good comes along, take it!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Is there any way you can get a transfer to a different district? Try looking into that if you can. My online bestie did this and it paid off. I am so happy for her. :smthumbup:

Try doing artwork on the side and if it becomes a path which offers a decent income, you can leave teaching. How nice that you have a talent!

I am in the process of changing careers; I attend classes at a well known college. Sometimes being a student at my age is weird, but I know that I will be stuck in horrible call centres for the rest of my life if I don't finish my studies. Short term pain for long term gain.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

no job is worth being depressed,I done it for several years.( and I regret it) and I cant get those lost years back. Whats the use in working if you are miserable? life is too short.Stand up for your own mental and emotional health. Your hubby should be thrilled that you are willing to work at all. My wife wont at even an easy job. Grrrrrr


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

Zombie thread...


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

Old thread, but since somebody already brought it back up.....

I may be negitive, but dreams are for people who don't have any sort of responsibility.

You could try to make your current career better by transferi g or something but to start over seems insanely risky to me.

Besides, it isn't uncommon to hate you job. Its probably pretty normal.


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