# First time..... again



## allthegoodnamesaregone (Nov 18, 2011)

Hi All, my wife gave me the standard "Speech" back in July and it appears shes in full MLC/WAS mode. With the amount of deceit and lying to both myself , family and children I don't think reconciliation is going to be possible, too much pain has been caused . 

My question is this, while I had plenty of experience before I was married at 33, I've never "Been' with anyone else in almost 25 years. I'm not sure how this going to effect me emotionally the first time I'm in bed with someone new. Even now the thought of it five months on causes me pain. Anyone care to relate their first experiences after very long term marriage? it would help me to know what to expect and prepare for.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone (Nov 18, 2011)

Any input?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Well... myself and my now H were "firsts" after 23 and 25 year marriages. I was so distanced from my ex that I had no problem having sex with someone else.... especially someone who WANTED me!  He got a bit sad, a few little tears even.... but it was touching. We talked about it.... and we've been talking about EVERYTHING ever since. (This was also our first meeting after talking for about a year in an MLC chatroom!)

No telling how it's going to go. But communication is everything... if you find someone who gets that, then whatever happens is ok. Ya know?


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

mlc?


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

My first marriage may not qualify as "long term" but we were together for 13 years and she was my first serious relationship. Consequently, it was both frightening and exciting to be "out there" as a single guy for the first time in my adult life, really, but it was mostly frightening at first and only later was it exciting when I saw that it was not that big of a deal and there were countless eligible women out there.

I imagine it would be significantly more difficult if you were not ready to let the marriage go than if you were the one who was more than ready to move on. Although I, personally, was in a rebound relationship within a month after leaving my wife, it would have been much more difficult to function in a new relationship and dating had I still not been over my marriage. Therefore, if that is where you find you are, perhaps it is best to wait a few months or longer before jumping back into a new relationship.

Best of luck to you and when you are ready, don't be opposed to online dating. Match.com was a godsend for me and helped me meet countless women that I would have never met, otherwise, and it is where I eventually met my second wife.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> I've never "Been' with anyone else in almost 25 years. I'm not sure how this going to effect me emotionally the first time I'm in bed with someone new.


Dont worry, Mon, Be happy.

You're over thinking the situation. Do you even have anyone lined up for the bedroom yet? 

Go out and have fun. When things reach the bedroom your primal instincts will take over and the gazelle will be pounced. Until then, dont worry about what happens in the bedroom, just worry about getting there.


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