# Engaged But Confused ;-(



## Giro (Jul 31, 2008)

Hi, i wrote couple of questions in different forums about my fiancee not wanting my kid from another relationship. And She wanted out of the relationship, and she wanted me to throw her out of the house with my new boen kid, and i told her in front of her eyes that i'm not going to do that, and then she suggested that we live together for the sake of our baby and we can date. I kept quite, she promised me that i hurt her and she is going to make sure i'm going to suffer for the rest of my life as long as i live with her. She said i'm not going to see my other kid. And all of a sudden with an hour she changed her mind and say she is sorry. i accepted that but not with all my heart, because i know she is going to change again. She said i must'snt contact my 8 year old kid, and which i did. I'm trying to please her in the expense of my other kid, it has been a month and couple of weeks with speaking to my kid, i'm sure she is wondering where is Dad. Even though i agreed with my fiancee that i cut the phone calls and my kid will visit every month, she said we must take it easy. and she said she is not going to take good care of her, and i said i will. I'm not sure is she doing this do revenge because she is saying i love my 8 year old kid more than them. I don't know, i don't know what to do. It is very tense in the house but things a re starting to easy a little bit.But my mind is still with the thought of losing my other kid.


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## kuki (Oct 28, 2008)

No offense but your priority should be your kids, wheather from a previous relationship or not. If she cannot accept the fact that you do have a child from another relationship, she is simply not right for you. What would she do if she would have a child from a previous relationship? Wouldnt she expect you to love and care for them just as much as you do for the one you have with her. That is ridiculous and if you do love and care about your 8 yr old I suggest to show her that and make her a priority because you dont want her growing up without your love and care and resent you for the rest of your life. It is just my opinion, so sorry if I said anything that you dont want to hear. Good luck.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

im sorry but the children are the innocent ones here and you say you cut the phone calls and visitations. thats cruel in my opinion.
children dont have the capacity to undertstand why.
they think they are unloved and abandoned.
what you do to your children, makes the path a long one when there older. they dont forget.
my nephew has lived with my mother since he was 4 weeks old. 
he has had a difficult life, not with my mother, but from his parents, yes unloved and abandoned by the ppl who made him. 
why dont you write to your child. send her gifts. 
i am sorry for situations like this , i think it is more difficult for men as its usually the women that have the children and use them as porns.
but your partner wil do what she does to you for the rest of your life.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

So if you have another child with her does that mean you can't love that child? BS, your eight year old needs you and deserves more from you. You should have come as a package deal. The only person I feel sorry for is that 8 year old.

draconis


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Giro-

A woman like your finance needs a firm man with a backbone. you have totally caved in. Your life will be hell if you marry her. I am worried you are not the right man for the job. You must get a backbone super quick. Your 8 y/o is the most important person at the moment in this situation, and you are failing him.

The baby has yet to build a relationship with you...


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

:iagree:

Of course your 8 year-old is wondering where's dad? She loves you and needs you in her life. What your fiance is doing is extremely immature and quite honestly being a mother herself I cannot understand her telling you not to contact your own child and being ok with that demand...BIG RED FLAGS....it's all about her and always will be going forward...have fun with that

or...put your foot down, be a man, be a dad & do what's right for your 8 year-old.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Giro said:


> Hi, i wrote couple of questions in different forums about my fiancee not wanting my kid from another relationship. And She wanted out of the relationship, and she wanted me to throw her out of the house with my new boen kid, and i told her in front of her eyes that i'm not going to do that, and then she suggested that we live together for the sake of our baby and we can date. I kept quite, she promised me that i hurt her and she is going to make sure i'm going to suffer for the rest of my life as long as i live with her. She said i'm not going to see my other kid. And all of a sudden with an hour she changed her mind and say she is sorry. i accepted that but not with all my heart, because i know she is going to change again. She said i must'snt contact my 8 year old kid, and which i did. I'm trying to please her in the expense of my other kid, it has been a month and couple of weeks with speaking to my kid, i'm sure she is wondering where is Dad. Even though i agreed with my fiancee that i cut the phone calls and my kid will visit every month, she said we must take it easy. and she said she is not going to take good care of her, and i said i will. I'm not sure is she doing this do revenge because she is saying i love my 8 year old kid more than them. I don't know, i don't know what to do. It is very tense in the house but things a re starting to easy a little bit.But my mind is still with the thought of losing my other kid.


NO WAY! unequivocally, no way. how can you even consider this. she uses the word REVENGE and says she won't "take good care" of her? 
LATER b!#ch.

imagine an eight year old wondering where is dad. that's what kids wonder who have lost a dad to death. you're dead to her if you aren't in contact. tell me that doesn't make you put your foot down.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

voivod said:


> NO WAY! unequivocally, no way. how can you even consider this.


:iagree:


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## Giro (Jul 31, 2008)

Thanks for all the replies. If i put my foot down, she will say i love my 8 year old more than them and i dont' think about her feelings as well. And she will go and tell people that i chose my 8 year old over them. I'm Trapped between a hard place and a rock.  I can even mention my 8 year old kid's name in the house.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Giro said:


> Thanks for all the replies. If i put my foot down, she will say i love my 8 year old more than them and i dont' think about her feelings as well. And she will go and tell people that i chose my 8 year old over them. I'm Trapped between a hard place and a rock.  I can even mention my 8 year old kid's name in the house.


No wonder your eight year old really doesn't know her father. I know so many people that grew up the same way. None of them cared for an absent parent that dis'd them. Get a spine. Your eight year old deserves better.

draconis


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

GIRO?!?!?!? What are you thinking? Is the sex that great with her that you are willing to abandon your child over it?? I do not mean to sound harsh here, but yeah....you need to get a backbone! This is an extremely selfish woman to ask this of you....if she truely loved YOU, your child would be a part of her life too, and she would welcome that...not something she is holding over your head. 
Move on buddy..this woman is NOT worth your time or effort. I dont care what she has that you want so bad, but NOTHING should come before your children. Your child needs you to show them how NOT to be a selfish uncaring person like this woman is, your child doesnt just learn that kind of stuff...they learn it from you and your actions. How would you feel if your father did that to you? And I really hope he hasnt done that to you! How would you feel as the child of a father who chose a selfish uncaring woman to be with over you?
I am truely sorry if I offended you, but this post and this womans behavior just infuriates me!!!!!


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