# Women are not visual?



## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Hello again ladies.

OK, I am going to make a sweeping generalization here and I am cognizant of that fact so bear with me. This is just a curiosity question on how true that is or (if like everything else including sex drive, it varies by person) .

Are any of you actually turned on by any visual aspects of sex? For example, for those of you that have stated in other threads that you enjoy watching your husband masterbate or you like giving HJs. Do you actually get off on the actual watching or do you just like it because you know you are pleasing your mate (or they are pleasing themselves I guess  ).

For me just watching her play with it, especially until completion is a MAJOR turn on. For that reason my wife doesn't like to give me HJs. She says it does nothing for her and she would rather give me a BJ. (Now I really shouldn't be complaining because those are AWESOME too but sometimes I really get off watching her do the other. With a BJ she swallows so I don't get to see the result so to speak).

Am I just sick?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The visual is very stimulating to me.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am just like a man, LOVE the visual. 

Although when I was younger and not in touch with my sex drive, all I ever noticed on a man was his face, I rarely looked at a man's body and said "MMMMM" . 

Boy is that out of the window today, I love to look all over and especally below the belt, checking out those packages. I have alot of fun on the beach. 

I get turned on just THINKING about sex. I have gotten 'wet" just doing Bj's. My husband has never masterbated in front of me, or me in front of him, we prefer to do each other, always been this way. 

You are not sick, you LOVE watching your wife pleasure you, it makes you feel desired when she does this. The "sick" ones or inhibited ones wouldn't care for that, in my opionion.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Just read an artical that studied or looked at womens brains with a PET scanner and showed them porn and could see that every one was aroused.

society has made them or I should say most scared to admitt that they are visiual when it comes to sex


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I'm visual, definitely. I get turned on watching him masturbate. And when he goes down on me (from what I can remember lol), besides the obvious feeling, watching the top of his shoulders tense and relax drives me nuts. 

I'm sick right along with you. Maybe ask her if she'd stick her tongue out before swallowing.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I'm not as much visual, as I am tactile (touch).

To me, being able to touch or be touched, especially with my eyes CLOSED, works better at arousing me than anything I could look at.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Visual is a great aspect, absolutely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think people can be visual or non visual, just men are socialized to find the visual sexually stimulating and it (pornography) is geared towards the male gaze.


I do enjoy watching my SO masturbate and I love watching his facial expressions. I have been turned on by erotic pictures etc... I think it's just a myth that men need them or that women don't get aroused by them.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Syrum,

I don't necessaryily disagree that men may not "need" them but I can tell you being a man I am certainly aroused by visual things. If that weren't the case, what would be the point of lingerie?

If I see my wife naked, I get aroused. Her seeing me naked does nothing.  (Now maybe that's just because I'm not much to look at naked but there has to be something to this).

And bye the way, this post had nothing to do with porn so I am not sure why you bring that up? I know your stance on it and I can respect it, even if I don't completely agree with it, but that really wasn't a direction I was taking here. I was really just curious if it was really a male/female thing or just and individual thing like everything else.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Boxer briefs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Love those!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

That's a generalization. I recently spent eight hours testing with a psychologist. After analyzing the results, he stated that I am much more visual oriented than anything else. Considering how horribly I tested in the other areas, I'm in sad shape if my eye sight fails. lol The psychologist says the population as a whole is more balanced (than my personal test results). Your observation is, therefore, probably the result of societal (& other influences).


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

I am extremely visual.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I can't see it.


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## Mckiwi (Jul 10, 2011)

Eh, nonsense. Women can be visual as well. The idea that we're not is just the excuse that is waved around about why there are more naked women on....everything. Ask any woman if a shirtless, barefoot and fit man in a pair of jeans doesn't make her eyes pop out. I'm a goner for backs, hips and thighs myself (much the same as a guy, who knew?)


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

I"m very much NOT visual. If anything I'm more of a "Ok it's my weekly chore, bend me over and make it quick"


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

When I see a woman I find attractive I can become highly aroused but have never felt that way when looking at a man. Not even my own husband. 

I'd never thought about this and don't really understand why that is, though. Hmmm...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You're gay. That's pretty much what gay is.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

No, I'm bisexual.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Craggy456 said:


> I"m very much NOT visual. If anything I'm more of a "Ok it's my weekly chore, bend me over and make it quick"


Wow! That sucks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Lulu lemonpants 

Ok. Very visual. Typical guy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

alphaomega said:


> Wow! That sucks.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In fairness, her husband is cheating on her and lying about it. I wouldn't touch him with somebody elses vagina, let alone my own.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Craggy456 said:


> I"m very much NOT visual. If anything I'm more of a "Ok it's my weekly chore, bend me over and make it quick"


Honey, is that you?  (Sorry, couldn't resist.)


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

LOL


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Honey, is that you?  (Sorry, couldn't resist.)




:moon: (Couldn't resist that either)


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Hehe, sorry Craggy. That was in no way directed at you and I am truly sorry to hear about your troubles in your own marriage!


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Hehe, sorry Craggy. That was in no way directed at you and I am truly sorry to hear about your troubles in your own marriage!


Oh no, I didn't mean it in a bad way, I was joking with you. I'm dealing with my own marital issues through humor and sarcasm


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'm Ray Charles in the bedroom. Trip over the bed and whack stuff with my cane. Step on a dog or two.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Syrum,
> 
> I don't necessaryily disagree that men may not "need" them but I can tell you being a man I am certainly aroused by visual things. If that weren't the case, what would be the point of lingerie?
> 
> ...


We are taught by society what to find stimulating. 

Many women are very aroused by seeing other women's naked forms more so then men's. This is because as a society we are bombarded by sexualised images of the female form, from when we are very small and it is everywhere. The images we see of men are not comparable, nor are we as saturated by them. Men's magazines have 'sexy' women on them and so do the majority of women's magazines and so forth.

Men are taught by our society that they are visual, they can't help themselves etc, but I think just as many women are visual and we can all control our own thoughts and actions.

If we are not conditioned by society and our brains are not shaped by what we see and hear, then there would be no explanation why definitions of what is attractive or visually stimulating has changed so much over the years and varies from person to person. Moreover it wouldn't explain why in some cultures men have no interest sexually in female breasts and as they have not been sexually fetishized in those cultures.

We all tend to think we just are and we just do and it's natural etc, but this just isn't so.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Sorry, I don't buy it. I agree with you that socialization can cause it to be enhanced/overblown/etc there is a natural propensity to things.

I saw a study a few years ago where they took very young children from multiple cultures and had them look at a series of pictures. The majority chose the same pictures as being attractive/pretty/whatever.

I've mentioned this before but I have some nephews on my wifes side who are very religious. Their parents kept them away from guns/violence/violent movies/you name it. Guess what, hand that kid a stick or another toy and "bam" it is a gun.

It is the old "nature vs nurture" debate I guess and my personal belief is that there is a component of both.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Sorry, I don't buy it. I agree with you that socialization can cause it to be enhanced/overblown/etc there is a natural propensity to things.
> 
> I saw a study a few years ago where they took very young children from multiple cultures and had them look at a series of pictures. The majority chose the same pictures as being attractive/pretty/whatever.
> 
> ...


Do you think children 1000 years ago pretended to play with guns?:scratchhead: It is a learned behaviour.

I have no doubt that nature plays a part, however as we can see by the vast differences in cultural behavior and preferences that most of it is socially driven and learned.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

Syrum said:


> We are taught by society what to find stimulating....


Interesting discussion. I agree that society has a partial role in shaping our perceptions of beauty and sexual attractiveness, but I believe external influences have limits because beauty (or visual stimulation) itself is very subjective. I mean, I really do not think anyone can argue the fact some men find heavier women a total turn on and yet we do not have 18 plus size women all over the ads. Some women find bearded men absolutely sexy. These are all physical aspects and yet preferences vary greatly. To me, society has a role in shaping us, but it does not have the exclusivity in making us who we are and how we relate or feel.


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I can't see it.


lol. Sorry if you meant this other than humorous. But it made me chuckle.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Hello again ladies.
> 
> OK, I am going to make a sweeping generalization here and I am cognizant of that fact so bear with me. This is just a curiosity question on how true that is or (if like everything else including sex drive, it varies by person) .
> 
> ...


I'm a guy, but I'll answer for my GF.  

She's strongly visual. She loves to take pictures of us, and look at them later. She got turned on when I turned the web-cam on one time, and turned the computer screen so she could watch. She loved that I got a big mirror for my bedroom, and she spent time getting the angle just right. She'll stop what we're doing and re-position us so she can watch. And she's asked me to pull out and finish on her so she can watch (and take pictures for later).

C


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I am visual i will admit it =)


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## Lea2407 (Jul 14, 2011)

It depends on who's giving me the visual. 

Is there a word for when you're turned on by sounds/words? Auditory perhaps? If I'm watching something sexy, I definitely enjoy the visual, but I'm much more affected by the sound than the images.


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