# The cold hard truth about reconciliation.



## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

This is the cold hard truth about separation, divorce, marital problems. This is aim for the couples where one wants to save the marriage and the other wants out. When you reach that point in your marriage I would say it's a done deal. Maybe a 1-3 percent chance to reverse the outcome of divorce. I've read countless times on every marriage forums on the net and usually it ends rarely they make amends.
I would like to say I been reading marriage advice, marriage forums, 180, hi s need her needs, fireproof, love language, love busters and the list goes on forever. Done marriage counseling, prayed day in day out i've done everything possible. But I have came to a conclusion you can possible turn you situation around. Yes I always wonder wtf did so and so stay married and I think that about a lot of married couples. There situation is not much different than yours. Same s%#& yes the crazy arguments being an arse, drugs, cheating you name it. 
So here's the straight up dope if you want to save your marriage!! No bs your spouse is done and your hanging on to dear life. Doesn't matter if wife/husband husband/wife. No book, counseling, seminars goin to change it trust me!!
180 is pure bs but I let you on a reverse phychology that will either second guess your spouse leaving, pursuing a divorce. Yes this will either make them mad as hell at you or after a few weeks reconsidering a possible reconciliation.
This is for those in a situation of one is done and the other is wanting to reconcile. This would only work best if you are still together under the same roof or just separated. Both of have an understanding he/she wants to leave and the other he/she wants to work it out.
I explain this in 4 phases depending on the severity and what actions you can pursue.But I warn anybody doing this to take caution. Don't do this if the partner you are with is unstable or has emotional problems. Take extreme caution from my advice and use good judgement.

1. Agree: this is the start point just agree 

2.. Poker face: do you have a good poker face? You partner wants a divorce their done its over nothing you can do. Here is the best solution nothin!!!! Just act status quo go on with life and say nothing. Poker face dont talk at all unless you have to. Let them have full reign in their departure. Keep up the poker face indefinitely. This phychology flips on them to ever time. Even if they leave you have the next 2 steps to follow.
3. Flip the scrip: this one is used if there is no noticable changes. You got to rewrite history from them leaving you to you leaving them. But not in a hostile way. Make the situation look like you are more inclined to divorce. But gotta be cool not in an agressive way. Back in their mind they think they have control when you pull this on them they lost their control of the situation. Doesnt mean you run to the lawyer absolutely not. Act confident! Divorce is appealing!! But in a calm way be polite. 
4. This is when you are totally separated. You gotta do this perfectly!! Go dark!! Act 100 percent you life is in you control. Do not pursue!! Do not call, text only if it is necessary. Only keep calls at minimum and text minimum. Do not talk your spouse into reconciling. No!! You make the biggest blunder ever. You got to use the best poker face for weeks or months. 
This will turn the table on them Yes!! Wait it out either two things will happen. They will give in or pursue divorce. So what happens if they want to reconnect? The answer string their arse along. Do not give in that day it will not work. String them along in uncertainty for at least 3 weeks maybe longer. Act like you're unsure but at the same time open. This will definately put them in a higher gear as the week past along. Drag it out, drag it out gotta make your stbx as serious as possible. If you give in too early the passion will fade trust me. 
Last if none of this works wait until the divorce petition is filed and feel free to try to reconnect. Maybe a last shot of reconnecting the way people always been doing it.

I would also like to add the saying "people want what they can't have" this is true even when you reverse it. You want your spouse they don't want you. Just flip it put a wall up act done its over. Poker face this mentality yes it either works or piss a crazy person off. This is how I came up with this chart. 
Please this is reverse phychology use with caution. This can easily piss off people. 
Will this work?? Considering everthing else available I say this wins hands down. 
Now I only say this from reading every book imaginable. Trust me counseling is bs, if you partner wants to leave I don't care if you done back flips for them. They going to leave period! It's just the cold hard truth just face it. The only thing that will change their mind is to change their mind.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Please take it from the voice of experience ~ If the cheaters mind is already made up, and/or they are already in the midst of a covert full-blown affair, there is going to be absolutely no changing of their mind!

Just ask my RSXW ~ she already knew the regimen awfully well when she asked for and executed the "trial separation!" There's no telling me that she didn't already know that the divorce cards had been superglued onto the table and would be played no matter what! All while she was busy covertly shagging old out-of-town boyfriends from her past, without me having the first damned clue!

I was just too naive, straight-laced, trusting, and wanting in saving our marriage to even remotely believe otherwise!
*


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