# 180 questions



## JennaLynne (Sep 13, 2011)

Hey there -- back from a much needed girls vacation (which was free I might add) :smthumbup:

I read trhough another post with 180 bullet points - and they make sense for the most part...I am trying to figure out how it is applicable to my situation.

There is no OW and we are already living apart. H has the "things will never change" attitude and is closed off. He seemed to perk up last week when I mentioned talking with the Pastor that married us....but nothing since then. 

I take care of myself, go out and *try* to have fun with friends and family....will be starting school.....but I am just not sure how this 180 thing will work. 

Or maybe that is more for winning a spouse back from another man\woman? 

Thanks!


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

Hi Jenna,

The 180 is NOT for winning your spouse back..it is for winning your own independence from your spouse.

My opinion is it is a self help tool to make you a better person, and be prepared to live w/o the man you use to know.

Whatever I had with my wife 7 weeks ago was crap. While she is out with a hs flame, I am here with our 20 and 17 yrs old kids trying to help myself AND them.

I can only pray that my wife will figure out the damage sooner rather than later, but, that is HER bag of poo.

Stay strong and work on yourself...right now, YOU are the only one to help YOU! :smthumbup:

One second at a time if necessary!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

JennaLynne said:


> Or maybe that is more for winning a spouse back from another man\woman?
> 
> Thanks!


The 180 is said to be a concept used to empower yourself to move on after an impending split.

It often has the positive side effect of gaining your partners attention and changing their attitude toward you as the steps for the 180 don`t allow you to put them first anymore.

You begin ignoring their needs in order to fulfill yours and they take notice and often change their tune because it appears you`re moving on and everybody wants what they can`t have anymore.

They fear truly losing you.


I don`t know what affect it would have on your situation considering it seems your husband might expect you to be moving on anyway.

It would at least do what it`s supposed to do for you.
Prepare you for life without him in it.


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