# Best Plan In Order to Leave



## youngstown (Apr 16, 2010)

So I was speaking to a lawyer friend lately. They mentioned that they would do the math, ie split all the assets and have everything drawn up.

Then they suggested I have the "talk" with my wife. Bring forward that here is what I am suggesting for splitting of assets, suggestion on what we do with the house (no kids in my case).

Is this a better option than just having the talk, and starting the process then with my wife...ie not letting on that I have already put together financial scenarios for her to think about?

Is it better to follow the lawyer's idea in most cases, and kind of take the emotional part out of it by coming fwd and already suggesting options for moving fwd with a divorce? Or might this tick them off and they end up trying to screw you over?

Just not sure what is best route moving fwd now that I know my marriage is done. Thanks so much for your help!!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Lawyers are paid by the hour and they aren't cheap. From my experience, the more you and your wife are able to negotiate on your own, the cheaper and smoother the process will be. I'd calmly sit her down and together knock out an agreement we both could live with. 
Lawyers or a Judge can tell you who will get what, but the couple has to eventually agree or you both will only end up back in court. If the couple's agreement has to be the end-state, might as well start the process off that way. 
Get it all in writing with both of you in agreement. I even wrote mine up using the acceptable format for divorces in my state. Gave it to my lawyer in a word-processing file. He printed it off, made a couple minor adjustments, and walked it through the courts. Inexpensive, fast, and very little drama.


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## DailyGrind (Jun 27, 2010)

I know everyone contributes a LOT of time and effort to answering people's questions/life issues. And, I know that YOU know this also...judging from all the responses to your posts. So...I have to ask.......how is it you (youngstown) went from being the "wife" in your 1st/2nd posts; and being the one fed up with your "husband"...and wanting him to leave..........



> youngstown: April 16, 2010
> 
> Ok I'm sure this is the stupidest question ever...but, I think my husband and I have tried everything and I am done.
> 
> ...


AND



> youngstown: April 3, 2010
> Close to packing it in. I have tried everything.
> 
> My wife has family in town, I do not. I also can afford our house on my own, she could not. Can I ask her to leave? Will I forever have bad karma following me if i do??


to suddenly being the "husband" having a problem with his "wife"???? hmmmm???



> youngstown: March 30, 2011
> I have been married 8 years. I come from a very affectionate family upbringing, and have a high sex drive.
> 
> My wife comes from a dysfunctional upbringing and is not very affectionate. We have talked about this as a problem for me over the years. Things have never really changed, and it is usually me instigating anything in this department.
> ...



Seems to me, you would be able to get those roles straight.....wouldn't you?


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## Tommo (Oct 1, 2011)

Killer posts...

Daily Grind: THANK YOU...I haven't had a teary belly laugh in way too long!


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## DailyGrind (Jun 27, 2010)

Tommo said:


> Killer posts...
> 
> Daily Grind: THANK YOU...I haven't had a teary belly laugh in way too long!


:biggrinangelA:

NP. I had to read through the posts a couple times to figure out what was going on. The story DOES seem too drawn out, for a troll. But then....I can't see someone mistakenly messing up the genders....not ONE, but TWO different posts. :rofl:


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