# A was with bipolar person



## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

Is anyone familiar with anybody who is bipolar? I don't know much about it but I do know the OW who you all know lives across from us does have this illness. I know from being her friend for a few years that she would often go off her meds. This was part of the reason I think her H thought she had the A to begin with.

I've always been concerned about the A and her stability with it. Remember she thought she loved my H.

Do you think I need to be worry or things I should watch out for? I guess I'm asking how you think she'd cope if she goes off the meds. Of course, I'd never know if she did. I mean having the constant reminders since we live so close and already having this illness.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I am very familiar with bipolar illness. It can be very serious. Basically, a person cycles from manic phases to depressive phases. Medication should moderate this and help the sufferer lead a normal life. If you want to help your friend, advise her to follow her doctor's recommendations. I can imagine a bipolar person making poor judgement choices during a manic phase, or just getting frustrated because her husband doesn't understand her illness. The end result can be fatal. My sister in law committed suicide because she was unable to cope with her mental illness.


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Being in the Cluster B range makes her very easy to get in bed. You need to move miss. She is way too close to your family.

The fact that her H is blaming your H fits very well with the codependent behavior. Cluster B's and codependents are a perfect match because the codependent enables the Cluster B (bipolar etc) by accepting and taking on her blame shifting behavior. Actually, at this point I would be more scared of her husband than his nutty wife. You will see her husband having Dr. Jekyl/Mr.Hyde qualities to him, and having a Bipolar wife is only a formula for a mental breakdown for him. He might end up going on a rampage on day and shooting everyone that 'crossed' him, I wouldnt put that past him.

I can say more about that. I'm a recovering codependent. It takes a lot of crap to happen for a codependent to realize that being nice all the time and being a 'good' this or that wont make people act better. When things get bad, codependents try harder at being what they think is 'good'. After a while of trying hard and not seeing results, they blow up. They'll go from mr. nice guy to pure devil himself. Usually when the **** hits the fan though...the codependent will wake up, become aware of their behavior, and realize that their methods solve nothing (my case). If it hasn't happened to him yet...its a very scary thought because it just means his anger is being pent up and doesnt hold his wife accountable....he holds himself accountable and others like your husband.

Very bad...

The wife can be an issue too. She is too involved now with your husband. The solution is NO contact. So you might need to move.


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## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

Tim-- I too am a codependent. That's probably part of my problem, see my H had drug and alcohol issues for many years off and on. I never did any of these things. I always tried to fix him. At the point when he decided he wanted to stop and stopped going to bars but did drink at home and several times I could tell he had gotten high that's when the A with the neighbor occured. To this day he claims the A wasn't drug or alcohol related. I almost wish he would have stayed at the bars. I'm pretty sure there were other affairs but I don't have the proof for a confession. 

In many, many ways I'm very similar to you. Heck I never even blew up on the OW. You would think I would have confronted her but NO not me. I don't want to cause a scene. I wish I would have stopped being so damn nice and just exploded on her ass. I'm afraid that may still happen. We've had some close encounters lately, saw her at the store and walking at home near where I was at. I know sooner or later we'll run into each other.

In the beginning her H confronted my H at our house, I wasn't home. My H would also say that her H would make racial comments outside when they were home. I didn't hear any of this myself but that's what my H says. They were often both home in the early afternoon and I guess that's when it was going on. I guess at one point it almost came to a physical confrontation but her H walked away. My H said he told her H "come on, you want to fight, let's go" something like that. Unfortunately my H was always a fighter and would fight at the drop of a pin.

I concern myself with things I shouldn't. She recently had two more babies within a year from each other and I remember her telling me after her 2nd child (before these last 2) that she was hospitilized because she was afraid she was going to hurt him. Hopefully she stays on her meds but she did have a habit of stopping them from time to time before.


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