# I think I should leave



## bloom (May 18, 2012)

I have been married 22 yrs (2 kids, 20 & 16). Husband & I both work 2 jobs (1 together). I do all cooking, cleaning, repairs, bill paying, shopping, etc. He works & lays in recliner. He never wants to go anywhere (dinner, movies, walks....) & will not even sit on deck in evenings to hang out together. We have sex MAYBE once a year, & theres no emotions involved. He spends $$ as he pleases & doesn't seem interested if bills are paid unless something gets turned off. Will not open mail or answer phone. If I go to dinner with friends, he make little comments like "it must be nice" then gives me silent treatment. I encourage him to go out with friends but he doesn't go unless I set everything up (then complains about having to go). We've tried counseling & he started making excuses why he couldn't go so I stopped asking. He decided to get 2 dogs while I was taking care of dying mother & has nothing to do with either one since bringing them home (4 yrs ago), & recently convinced our son to get me a puppy for moms day (I stated day before that I DID NOT WANT THIS). I know he has some depression issues, but I am at my wits end!!!! Do I stay & be very unhappy, or do I say I just can't do this anymore. When I tell him I'm not happy or feel lonely/overwhelmed he tells me he's just tired/stressed & it's not that he doesnt love me. But nothing changes. I'm so unsure of myself, & I feel like this empty shell.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Bloom,

Before anything else, you should get some IC

It should help you sort things out. after giving that some time (at least 6 months) sit back again and take stock of your situation and remember that the only one you can change is yourself.

If youstill feel the same after 6 months or so, tell him you're done and it's time for the two of you to talk about moving on


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## bloom (May 18, 2012)

I did forget to add that this has been going on for about 5 years. Sorry.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Bloom,

Sorry to her that. As I said, you should get counseling for yourself

% years is a long time. I am sorry


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Many people have problems much worse than yours, but I say there is no point in resigning yourself to being unhappy. Your husband does nothing but complain, whereas you want a life. I imagine you would want a life with him if he bothered to live even a little. But he won't, so you don't have live under his judgment, laziness, and bitterness. Go have a life of your own. You deserve it. Everyone does.

Really, I expect when you move out or tell him you are going to leave, he will suddenly change.....a lot.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I would suggest one attempt to get him to get help for his depression. If he will got and get counseling and on meds it might really help.

Let him know that you are at your wit's end and are seriously considering divorce. This might wake him up.


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