# should i stay or should i go?



## gingerL (May 24, 2016)

Met him at a NYE party and friend zoned him because I always knew he was married. However, at the party he opened up to me about how his wife cheated 3 months back and had moved out to be with her boyfriend. We started hanging out more frequently in the weeks to come as I had gone through a divorce with no children the year prior so it was easy to relate. He told me he was in process of a divorce and was working with his attorney and should be done by the end of summer. They have no kids. I don't really ask about the progress since it's a sensitive matter and let him tell me when/if he wants. Fast forward 5-6 months to present time and I ask him how everything's coming along. At this point, we are pretty much boyfriend girlfriend. He says nothing has progressed and he needs to go at it at his own pace. I become really upset and tell him it's not fair to me, especially because she moved back into their home and now wants to reconcile. She has gotten drunk to the point of hospitalization several times, been in a car wreck, and calls him almost everyday. He got his own apt. I told him I can't deal with all this drama and to call me when he's at least filed the papers.

He finally tells me that he's been seeing a therapist on his own for the last several months to deal with the situation. Apparently he is advised to postpone the divorce until she is more stable because she is suicidal and is checking into a mental health program for the next 2 months. He is telling me he's not asking me to wait around, and that this delay does not mean he loves her or wants to get back together with her, but so he can have a clear conscious. He knows the outcome will be divorce sometime this year, but because of her mental health, he is afraid to push her over the edge. He says she has never been this bad and doesn't know what happened to her.

At this point, I want to be with him, but I don't know how things will play out.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I would let this one go. My reasoning being that there is too much drama in his current marriage. You are dating a married man. He is not really divorcing her, so he keeps you in the background to fulfill his needs when his crazy wife is still at home. 

Ask yourself if it's worth your time to put up with all this drama? Is he really vested in you? Is this how you want to live your life?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

You should have stuck with your first instinct and kept him in the friend zone. Don't waste any more time on him or mixed in their marital drama. Move on with your life, he is going to be stuck in this marriage for a long time IMO.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

Run from this drama!


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with the others....He really isn't that invested in your relationship considering he is still married and dealing with wife drama.

Perhaps, later will will be better to connect.

Now....nothing has changed and he is still saying it will happen (divorce). Problem is...he's said that awhile back.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Friend zone. He needs to move on but he's right - at his own pace. His STBXW is a wreck and he still cares. Your relationship would be a rebound anyway. Kindly move on.


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## Lizzzy (Jun 4, 2016)

LEAVE Take care of yourself first. He needs to workout his own stuff, but not at your expense. If its meant to me, when is deck is completely clear, you two will reconnect. Save yourself a boatload of heartache and cut this fish lose.


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