# Friendship Over 50



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Have a question for men over 50.

As you get older,male friends move, or pass on, children have their own life, how do you continue to find good male conversationalists and/or keep a sense of purpose?

I always related better to older people. Most my own age are too wrapped in sports to be able to talk of anything else.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Join MeetUp groups that have something to do with the things you enjoy. You will meet other people who you share a common interest with. Just keep putting yourself out there and living life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ynot said:


> Join MeetUp groups that have something to do with the things you enjoy. You will meet other people who you share a common interest with. Just keep putting yourself out there and living life.


I agree with the meetup.com groups. It's a very good place to start.

Also, are there things you enjoy doing that have charitable organizations? Join one if so. Go online and search for organizations that you can join.

What are your hobbies and things that you like to do?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

If you a faith follower, many religious organizations (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindi, etc) have men's groups that meet regularly. 

I also agree that meetup.com is a great place to make connections. I will also add that Facebook is also a great resource for hobby groups. 


I vaguely recall reading about a dating-like app for finding friends. This was a while back and that whole thing may have gone the way of the dodo but maybe try googling it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

My husband finds his friends though the church and men's groups.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

You can mentor/coach younger guys and you will develop friendships with other mentors. Volunteer in church, community, and or school/university situations. Hobbies, whether teaching or learning, are super ways to contact other men.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Ynot said:


> Join MeetUp groups that have something to do with the things you enjoy. You will meet other people who you share a common interest with. Just keep putting yourself out there and living life.



Thanks. I'll check meetup out. I've seen it in my junk folders. Thought it was a site for "hookups."


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

red oak said:


> Thanks. I'll check meetup out. I've seen it in my junk folders. Thought it was a site for "hookups."


I think MeetMe is a hook up site, but Meet Up is a social site. Stay away from the "singles" groups. The majority of the people in those seem to be desperately looking for a relationship. OTOH, the majority of those in other groups are probably going to be single, but have a life and are involved in it.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Well over 50, here. Yep, they move on, get less active, drift away, and most regrettably passed on too. 

Enough of that... life still goes on. 

The key for me has been to stay as active and involved as I can socially. I belong to fraternal and social organizations. I'm also involved in sporting activities. 

Charities, causes, mentoring... all these keep me involved with like-minded individuals. 

BTW, I can hold a conversation about sports or the state of politics, but fanatics need not apply. 

YMMV


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> I agree with the meetup.com groups. It's a very good place to start.
> 
> Also, are there things you enjoy doing that have charitable organizations? Join one if so. Go online and search for organizations that you can join.
> 
> What are your hobbies and things that you like to do?


I like just about anything involving primitive camping, and skills; training my dogs for useful skills.
Been looking for working dog events for over a year and all are clear across the country.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I'm over 50. I keep in touch online with lots of friends dating back to high school and college. Most of my friends in the real world are current and former co-workers. 

If you set aside those two groups, old friends and coworkers, things diversify pretty heavily. Some friends are parents of my children's friends. Some are neighbors. Some are my wife's friends from her hobbies. Some are people I've met pursuing hobbies (including some meet up groups).

We're getting close to retirement. That's probably going to me finding a new set of friends. We'll pursue the same approach we always have, which is to live our lives, do the things we like to do, and meet people while doing them.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Good luck with this.

This is an age old problem.
Most friends are age-old, long time friends.
As one ages, new friendships become harder to develop.

Friends are trees or flowers.

You must water them and fertilize the connection by constantly reaching out to them without coming across as a pest or a bore.

Most of my friends are fisherman, none are philosophers.
Of this, I regret.

Fisherman are plenty, philosophers are rare.

Being both is me, a rare bird.
One not recognized in my own land of milk and honey.

I have the same problem.

When you are married, any friends must be friends of both, enemies of neither.
That makes it hard for most married people.

Especially, if you are married to a Judge and Jury.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> Good luck with this.
> 
> This is an age old problem.
> Most friends are age-old, long time friends.
> ...


Philosophical fisherman.
Relateable.
In prose I seldom spoke,
Ne'er the twain in those met.
Speech once eloquent, now mundane. :frown2:

Checked out several meetup groups. Notta in fields of interest.

Ways cherished, now banished. 
Famished now it's vanished.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

anchorwatch said:


> Well over 50, here. Yep, they move on, get less active, drift away, and most regrettably passed on too.
> 
> Enough of that... life still goes on.
> 
> ...


Are there any other who are not fanatics?

It seems if you are interested in 'either' it goes with being over your head.
Totally immersed, drowning in it.

To truly understand either, you must be involved with the day-to-day minutiae.
Missive, massive sports stats change daily.

When viewed at face value, politics never changes, the faces only change.
Does so by fickle whim, rapidly, missively, massively.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

If you're into dogs, there are dog agility competitions that you could get involved with. Even if you don't train your dog, there are volunteer opportunities. Dog parks are also good. If you go at the same times, you'll often see the same people. 

If you're into politics, join the local political scene and volunteer groups.

Athletic groups can also be good. Join a training group or take classes. You end up spending a lot of time with the same people and it's common to go out to eat or whatever afterwards. All ages work out, but sometimes certain classes can trend either younger or older, so you may have to look around to find the class you fit with.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

wilson said:


> If you're into dogs, there are dog agility competitions that you could get involved with. Even if you don't train your dog, there are volunteer opportunities. Dog parks are also good. If you go at the same times, you'll often see the same people.
> 
> If you're into politics, join the local political scene and volunteer groups.
> 
> Athletic groups can also be good. Join a training group or take classes. You end up spending a lot of time with the same people and it's common to go out to eat or whatever afterwards. All ages work out, but sometimes certain classes can trend either younger or older, so you may have to look around to find the class you fit with.



All good ideas. May just have to plan a vacation. 

I train my dogs. Just not much of anything closer than 200 miles.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

I realized this thread is quite possibly a way of mourning loss of my last good friend, which I have yet to do. I have held it all inside.

I know this isn't what this site is for. I just need to vent. This is the time of year we would usually go camping, and has brought the finality home after a year and a half.
It's more difficult when they are still here, it seems to prevent the mourning. You know they are gone, yet lack the finality of placing them to rest.

You see, he is here, yet gone.

We camped together, and could sit around the camp fire talking, and discussing for hours. 

He projected a steely presence, he had mettle, under his steel exterior he had a heart of gold. One of the few gents who would tell you what he thought, give you the shirt off his back, literally. All he wanted was to be respected.

With his wife passed from the world, and kids moved across the country we would often invite him to eat with us. It was obvious he appreciated not having to eat alone. We enjoyed his company, and laughter his stories brought.

We haven't camped in a year and half since it happened. Camp misses his sour cheer. Trips to the mountains lack the contemplation, and conversation, and stories of his youth.

How is he here, yet gone?
You see, this 70 year old man, dreaming early morning of days gone by, when upon his door he heard a knock. Not opening his door he asked, "what was up?" "I'm broke down," they said, "can you help me?" Looking out his window he saw their ride. True to his nature his kind heart went out. Opened the door he did, When BOOM, they kicked it wide. Over 200lb piece of scum waylaid this kind 120lb old man in the head with heavy hands. Yet this wasn't near enough, for said piece of ****! Finally, kicked and beaten to an inch of his life said scum bag, asked for money, which my friend had less than $40. 

Taking it, wasn't enough. Such a good character was the low life piece of **** he proceeded to beat and kick some more, and took steps, in hopes of ensuring a "job" well done, and evidence hid. 

Yet my friend survived, to limp far down the road, bloody, bruised, broken, for help, as said scum had crushed my friends phone. 

My friend survived for a few days. Then; internal injuries brought about his demise. Doctors, they did bring him back. Death, for an hour, took its toll. His body still walks, and moves. Damage was done. No one does he now know. Child's mind.

With mind gone no witness. So my friend is gone, and the _-_-_- _-_-_-_ *********whoever he is still ++++++++++ walks......................................
Gaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

That’s so terribly sad. I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Especially in such a senseless, unjust way.

It’s good that you are speaking of this and beginning to mourn. 

I think mourning his loss is appropriate even though he is still here, because he has left in stages. And grief is in stages too.

Thank you for sharing about him.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

tigerlily99 said:


> That’s so terribly sad. I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Especially in such a senseless, unjust way.
> 
> It’s good that you are speaking of this and beginning to mourn.
> 
> ...


Thank you. 
I didn't realize how much it was weighing on me. 
Not many people like to just sit on a front porch and visit anymore.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

red oak said:


> Thank you.
> I didn't realize how much it was weighing on me.
> Not many people like to just sit on a front porch and visit anymore.


What a heinous crime. Those with that much hate are miserable on the inside. So few people have a friend such as yours! What a blessing to have known him and what a tragedy is his current state. Absolutely horrified by your loss. Tell us more.....

Since I have a good view, porch sittin' is big in my neighborhood.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

red oak said:


> Have a question for men over 50.
> 
> As you get older, male friends move, or pass on, children have their own life, how do you continue to find good male conversationalists and/or keep a sense of purpose?
> 
> I always related better to older people. Most my own age are too wrapped in sports to be able to talk of anything else.


*In Church related activities, and in my football officiating avocation!*


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Perhaps consider volunteering for Meals on Wheels. They deliver meals to older people who are living alone and may have difficulty getting out. I'm sure many of them would love to have someone chat with them for a while.


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