# Guys: How would you handle wife's office coworker?



## Itsmeagain (Jul 18, 2013)

Went to wife's holiday office party at a local restaurant. Small company, only about 30 guests.
One guy works next to my wife. He's about her age, married, and his wife is friendly with my wife.

Well... At the party, the guy had a few drinks, and quietly walks over to my wife, whispers in her ear "You look HOT". At that very moment, I happen to be close enough to my wife to see this, and read his lips. Neither one saw me, but my wife saw me immediately after he said that... (deer in the headlight-look on her face)

Nothing was said. I chose to bite my tongue.

I want something said to this guy. I feel as if he disrespected me and my wife, and my wife has to work next to this guy. 

Best way to handle this????

Honestly... I want a piece of him. I want to let him know that he better watch his boundaries.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Is this the same guy from your first thread? Same dude you`re suspicious about?

Did you talk to your wife about this? Can you be certain that he said those exact words?

Are you sure it's not just fear eating away at you about a guy you called "ladies man"?

Do you trust your wife since her texting affair?

If he did indeed say that to your wife, she should have immediately told you.


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## LoveLonely (Dec 8, 2013)

tulsy said:


> rust your wife since her texting affair?
> 
> If he did indeed say that to your wife, she should have immediately told you.


Yep. THAT is your problem: not the dude.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

You should have said something to him right then and there, preferably with his wife next to him.


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## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

He wouldn't have said it if there wasn't already some kind of banter going on between them. You do the math.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Thor is right. You should have addressed that right there and then. Quick and to the point, would have left no doubt of the boundaries that you expect. Why didn't you? Afraid of their reactions? Has it happened before, and you've had enough?

This is how I handled something similar. Another fellow and I left our wives alone at their company party, to make our way to the bar for drinks. When we got back, it was evident that the girls were uncomfortable with two men, who were trying their best to hit on them. One went as far as thanking me for bringing back drinks for the girls. I put my shoe on his (so I had his undivided attention) and let him know they were married and here with us. Never saw them again.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Pretty ballsy to say something like that to a coworker. I'd almost say they had something going already to make him think it was OK. 

I wouldn't be worried about the dude. I'd wonder how he could POSSIBLY have thought that was anything but HIGHLY inappropriate.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

MrK said:


> I'd almost say they had something going already to make him think it was OK.


:iagree:

Yup.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you would like something said to this guy, aren't you the guy to say it? His boss could warn him about sexual harassment policies, but you could inform him that if hits on your wife again that you'll bust both his kneecaps and he'll be scooting on his butt for a few months. Which appeal would be most likely to penetrate the fog of inebriation and achieve the desired results? Pain is a language even most drunks understand.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

This is cause for a stealthy investigation.

But don't wait to long to contact this guys wife.

This is how it should go;

"I'm calling to ask you for help and support for both our marriages. Inapropreaite things are being said between my wife and your husband."
"Do you suspect more going on?"
I would like to talk more about the best way to investigate the extend of their interaction before I confront my wife and your husband"



Again I would at least investigate on your own before you contact this guys wife.

AND DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE!!!

If you do you will never get to the bottom of this.

Are there any other red flags like sleeping with her phone under her pillow, taking the phone to the bath room,coming home late or leaving early, has her wardrobe changed, or more makeup?

If you play your cards right you might catch this before your hear " I love you but I'm not in love with you".


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My reply may seem over the top but your old ladies reaction should have been aimed at the Om not her husband.

See my point?

I have been here way to long to know for a fact that your old lady is acting different when you are not around and that is no good.

She needs to act like you are always next to her even when your not...that way she doesn't have to react they way she did.

Again her body language should have been directed to this guy and it wasn't!


Now capitalize on your response, it all good, you noticed nothing, and then go James Bond on this crap before she figures out that you know she is not behaving as though you are always right next to her.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

"nothing happened", "he said something stupid", "I was affraid you would get made"......

See all this can be explained away. So knowledge is power. before you confront, have the intel to back it up.

Maybe she was just flattered and when you approached she felt a shamed or guilty for feeling this way...hell its possible.

Thats the thing bro this thing can go two ways so find out for your self and then confront.

If there are no red flags and you confirmed that it was nothing then you can confront knowing that.

At the end of the day you could be confronting something you don't have a clue about. I think you would be doing a disserves in confronting this issue with out knowing if it was more or less to what you witnessed.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It sucks I keep going on and on. But having been there and a good friend of all poeple whispering into my old ladies ear at the Co. Xmas party....well ya it was more then nothing!!!!!!!!!

Hell by Feb. (a few months) she had already moved on to the one I busted her with.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

The problem isn't that the guy thinks your wife is hot, the problem isn't that he told her she's hot, the problem is she didn't tell you. You need to ask her why she didn't tell you. And don't let her tell you that you misunderstood what he said. You were there.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I can agree with sandc if there are no red flags.

You can't control what she says so I still think a quick look at text log and peeking at her phone will give some intel before confronting.

Again has this incident triggered any red flags in the past? If not then sure a direct approach should take place.

We still dont know if there are red flags or not.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

This is her third affair or so, if I kept track on his other thread correctly. She's not new to this.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

My advice depends on your W.

For any normal situation, I would say that you should've said something to the guy then and there. Since you didn't do that, the next best thing would be to meet your W at her office for some reason, maybe bringing her lunch or something, then just happen to stop by this other guy's office and casually call him out on it. Something, "Hey, I'm XYZ's H, remember we met at the Christmas party. You'd had a few drinks and you started leaning into my W's ear and saying stuff to her. What was that all about?"

He'd get the message.

However, others have mentioned that your W has already had one or more affairs. If that's the case, then whether your W is up to something or not I'd say it's time for you to really evaluate whether or not this is a marriage you want to stay in. This sort of distrusting paranoia will stay with you for years, and every Christmas party she attends, every company she works for, every group she gets involved with, you're gonna wonder what she's up to. I'm a BS, I'm telling you that from hard-learned experience.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Davelli0331 said:


> For any normal situation, I would say that you should've said something to the guy then and there. Since you didn't do that, the next best thing would be to meet your W at her office for some reason, maybe bringing her lunch or something, then just happen to stop by this other guy's office and casually call him out on it. Something, "Hey, I'm XYZ's H, remember we met at the Christmas party. You'd had a few drinks and you started leaning into my W's ear and saying stuff to her. What was that all about?"
> 
> He'd get the message.


I'm not so sure he'd get the message. He might even play dumb. The time to do something about it was when it happened. Doing something about it then might have made the OP feel better about that particular incident. But in the long run, it doesn't do him any good to intimidate guy after guy if she keeps luring them in.

The one thing that bugs me most about this is that no man should feel comfortable enough whispering in my wife's ear. Regardless of what he's saying.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

The wife is the problem here. Whatever it is that led up to a situation where he felt he could whisper that into her ear. Not too many men would do that without somehow knowing it was OK.

As far as the OM, a simple "stay the **** away from my wife" next time you see him should suffice.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

ReformedHubby said:


> I'm not so sure he'd get the message. He might even play dumb. The time to do something about it was when it happened. Doing something about it then might have made the OP feel better about that particular incident. *But in the long run, it doesn't do him any good to intimidate guy after guy if she keeps luring them in.*
> 
> The one thing that bugs me most about this is that no man should feel comfortable enough whispering in my wife's ear. Regardless of what he's saying.


I agree that the time to have done it would have been directly when it happened. However, even if the dude played dumb afterward he'd still know that you're on to him. Just my opinion, obviously.

I also _technically_ agree that no man should feel comfortable whispering into a married woman's ear, but practically I can't control that. OP's W's past infidelity and/or contribution to this situation notwithstanding, we don't live in a perfect world where men don't hit on married women, no matter what kinds of signs the woman puts up that she's unavailable (see TracyIsHere's thread for a study on this phenomena).

The bolded is what the OP needs to really be considering, though.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I don't have time to go back to that other thread, but besides the affairs, you've gotten the ILYBINILWY talk. Didn't you separate for a bit? I don't think the marriage is good anyhow. I hate to always say bail, but she doesn't love you (I hate to always say that too).


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Either the office guy heard she is available or there is already something going on between them.

There's a lot more to dismantle than a tipsy coworker who crossed the lines of politeness.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Say nothing, VAR and GPS her car and check phone records.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

MrK said:


> This is her third affair or so, if I kept track on his other thread correctly. She's not new to this.


Ah. In that case I would talk to OM and say... "She's all yours."

Okay, that's a little over the top but really, if this is the case she's a serial cheater. She wants to be marriage material but is incapable of that. Personally if I had a wife that was so interested in other men, I'd say, "Have at it." I'd let her go. And then I'd go find someone who wants to be married. They are out there. Life is too short to be with someone who only wants to use me for security while she bangs other men.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I just read your other threads! You've had D Days and confrontations with her before. She has no boundaries with men and no respect for your boundaries. She is like a hormone driven teenage girl, getting her thrills from the attention of other men. She tells one OM that they must keep their interaction quite because you're getting pissed. She doesn't think of you as her lover. She thinks you're her father! 

You should think long and hard about what you want here. What ever you decide, remember what you've been doing has kept you from a real relationship, with someone who respects you as her husband. What you have is no marriage.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

I recall telling someone about my first wife, "If someone can steal her from me, he can have her."

She also used to introduce me (jokingly?) as her first husband. I was 19 when I married her. 

We've been divorced for many years. She cheated. I left. 

OP, I hope you can glean something from what I just said.


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## Singledude21 (Feb 21, 2013)

anchorwatch said:


> You should think long and hard about what you want here. What ever you decide, remember what you've been doing has kept you from a real relationship, with someone who respects you as her husband.


Co-sign. Some people just don't deserve more chances and need to get dropped asap.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

My wife does not communicate with other men except for business reasons. She does not have opposite sex friends outside of church and only interact with them at church functions. My wife does not mind if I use her phone or her email. My wife tells me each and every time she interacts with a man outside of the scope of what I have just written; "Today an older man helped me load water into my shopping cart." "Today a younger man helped me with fire wood." Etc. My wife refuses to have contractors come over to the house unless I'm there. If my wife thinks a movie actor is attractive, she will sheepishly tell me. A man once gave her is phone number outside a fitness center, she gave me the number immediately when she got home. My wife calls or emails me to let me know when she's going out, where she's going, and when she'll get back. My wife does not go on GNO's except for church functions, and when she does she calls me to let me know when she's leaving. My wife acts like she's happy to see me when I get home. My wife loves having sex with me and shows it. My wife emails me at work just to tell me she loves me.

There has been no D-Day for me. She has never (to my knowledge) had an affair. She just isn't wired that way. She has only ever wanted to be married to one man. If I die tomorrow I have no doubt she would never remarry. This is just the standard to which she hold herself. She doesn't want me to ever worry about her faithfulness and her love for me.

Does that sound like your wife? Does that sound like the kind of wife you would want?

(And no guys, she doesn't have a sister. Sorry.  )


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

most likely their already having an affair!

go all covert and start snooping. act like you saw nothing.

after you catch her divorce her.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

You lead a charmed relationship life, SandC. I mean that. 

But you know that already.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Your gut is almost always right. I remember vividly a moment between my wife and the guy she was having an affair with (before I knew). It was a school function, totally benign, nothing was even said but I had a weird 3rd guy in the room feeling which I brushed off. Never again. 

The rational mind should not be trusted. Go with your gut.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

Just saw this thread. Funny, but reminds me of something which happened when my now-wife and I were just dating. We met each other at work, and happened to be working together this day.

Some guy had come in from a bar down the way, and definitely had one or two more in him than was a good idea. He'd lost ALL his brain cells. He'd kinda cornered her by a counter, was standing close and had a hand on her shoulder. She was visibly bothered by him and was trying to talk him away. As soon as I saw, I went RIGHT over, and when she noticed me coming, made a "HELP!" look.

Me: Can I help you?
Drunk: No, just talking to the girl.
Me: You can take your hand off my girlfriend, or I can break it off. Your choice.

He jumped away and cleared out fast. My wife is an attractive woman, and I've seen enough guys check her out. Can't even get mad: men notice good looking women. That doesn't bother me, but this guy made me see red. Almost turned a non-violent guy into an animal.

---

I've let minor stuff go with my wife, at home, to save a fight. But not something like this with a guy like that. If some guy at an office party said something like that to my wife, I'd be on that like white on rice. Then, you can have a chat with her about why she didn't tell you what the guy said.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Years ago the same kind of thing happened to my wife

She is an absolute cutie

She was mortified 

I walked up to this POS 

Grabed him by the throat and simply said

Understand what I'm saying ?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

doubletrouble said:


> You lead a charmed relationship life, SandC. I mean that.
> 
> But you know that already.


I prefer the term "blessed" but I won't quibble. I knew she was one in a million from the moment I met her.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Itsmeagain said:


> Went to wife's holiday office party at a local restaurant. Small company, only about 30 guests.
> One guy works next to my wife. He's about her age, married, and his wife is friendly with my wife.
> 
> Well... At the party, the guy had a few drinks, and quietly walks over to my wife, whispers in her ear "You look HOT". At that very moment, I happen to be close enough to my wife to see this, and read his lips. Neither one saw me, but my wife saw me immediately after he said that... (deer in the headlight-look on her face)
> ...



Ok...so, my dad taught me a few things and tact is best way to describe what I've done and it works.
You catch him in the parking lot when he's alone, you walk up to him and you invade his space big time. You say while remaining very relaxed "you know...if I ever heard that someone was to say anything inappropriate to my wife....I'd hurt them very badly, I would first break his arm at the elbow then when he's bawling like a little girl...I'd phucking rip his ballsack the phuck off. I won't have my wife or myself disrespected.....so....my friend...if you hear that anyone has said anything to my wife, you'll let me know....RIGHT?"

I did this while whispering it in a mans ear with other people within feet of us. The dude went white faced and was never, ever anything but polite to my wife.

By the way this works in many situations. I've caught men throwing trash in my company's dumpster. I walk up to them and while too close to them I say " hey, realize this is the only time you've done this and you live nearby, you go ahead and take your trash out of there and if you see anyone else do this you tell me because I really want to MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND THAT I WONT HAVE IT. YOU FEEL ME? Then I give him my number and say "I know you get my meaning"

I'm not advocating violence I'm suggesting honesty and clarity and a little mercy. Just so everyone knows.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Davelli0331 said:


> My advice depends on your W.
> 
> For any normal situation, I would say that you should've said something to the guy then and there. Since you didn't do that, the next best thing would be to meet your W at her office for some reason, maybe bringing her lunch or something, then just happen to stop by this other guy's office and casually call him out on it. Something, "Hey, I'm XYZ's H, remember we met at the Christmas party. You'd had a few drinks and you started leaning into my W's ear and saying stuff to her. What was that all about?"
> 
> ...


Don't ask him anything....tell him.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

He's not the problem.


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## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

seeking sanity said:


> Your gut is almost always right. I remember vividly a moment between my wife and the guy she was having an affair with (before I knew). It was a school function, totally benign, nothing was even said but I had a weird 3rd guy in the room feeling which I brushed off. Never again.
> 
> The rational mind should not be trusted. Go with your gut.


Every time I thought things didn't seem right, I would always later discover my gut was also right. Women are great at playing things off and stringing men along (that probably gores both ways), but yeah, the rational mind doesn't want to believe she would or could do that to you. She can, and she will. People are scum.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

1.My wife hates other men hitting on her when they know she is married
She probably would have told him to tell me and see what I thought of it
2.I would have told him I was just mentioning to his wife what great taste he has in women.
3.I would have escorted my wife from his vicinity and made sure she felt OK, or if I missed something else he might have said or done.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Your body knows things your head never knows. 

Only three or four months into my new relationship, I felt uneasy. Didn't know why. Then came the night I couldn't even get it up, no matter what we tried. This is only a few months into a new, coveted relationship. 

In retrospect, my body knew she was screwing around on me, while my head was busy telling me everything was OK.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

sandc said:


> My wife does not communicate with other men except for business reasons. She does not have opposite sex friends outside of church and only interact with them at church functions. My wife does not mind if I use her phone or her email. My wife tells me each and every time she interacts with a man outside of the scope of what I have just written; "Today an older man helped me load water into my shopping cart." "Today a younger man helped me with fire wood." Etc. My wife refuses to have contractors come over to the house unless I'm there. If my wife thinks a movie actor is attractive, she will sheepishly tell me. A man once gave her is phone number outside a fitness center, she gave me the number immediately when she got home. My wife calls or emails me to let me know when she's going out, where she's going, and when she'll get back. My wife does not go on GNO's except for church functions, and when she does she calls me to let me know when she's leaving. My wife acts like she's happy to see me when I get home. My wife loves having sex with me and shows it. My wife emails me at work just to tell me she loves me.
> 
> There has been no D-Day for me. She has never (to my knowledge) had an affair. She just isn't wired that way. She has only ever wanted to be married to one man. If I die tomorrow I have no doubt she would never remarry. This is just the standard to which she hold herself. She doesn't want me to ever worry about her faithfulness and her love for me.
> 
> ...


No disrespect but why wouldn't your wife re-marry if you suddenly dropped off your perch? Wouldn't you want her to find happiness again in the event of your sudden 'departure'?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

sandc said:


> My wife does not communicate with other men except for business reasons. She does not have opposite sex friends outside of church and only interact with them at church functions. My wife does not mind if I use her phone or her email. My wife tells me each and every time she interacts with a man outside of the scope of what I have just written; "Today an older man helped me load water into my shopping cart." "Today a younger man helped me with fire wood." Etc. My wife refuses to have contractors come over to the house unless I'm there. If my wife thinks a movie actor is attractive, she will sheepishly tell me. A man once gave her is phone number outside a fitness center, she gave me the number immediately when she got home. My wife calls or emails me to let me know when she's going out, where she's going, and when she'll get back. My wife does not go on GNO's except for church functions, and when she does she calls me to let me know when she's leaving. My wife acts like she's happy to see me when I get home. My wife loves having sex with me and shows it. My wife emails me at work just to tell me she loves me.
> 
> There has been no D-Day for me. She has never (to my knowledge) had an affair. She just isn't wired that way. She has only ever wanted to be married to one man. If I die tomorrow I have no doubt she would never remarry. This is just the standard to which she hold herself. She doesn't want me to ever worry about her faithfulness and her love for me.
> 
> ...


Luckily every man is different. This is not the type of wife Mr H wants, he prefers that I am independent and not clingy. I think he would feel suffocated by this type of lifestyle.

I am totally loyal, we have a fantastic sex life but I am able to live in the same world as men and not have to put so many walls up in order to be faithful.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

When this guy whispered that she's hot in your wife's ear, she should have known that it was an in appropriate thing to sat and let him know. But she didn't.

I got a feeling that this guy is more than just a friend, had too much to drink and forgot that you were near because of the booze. Yeah he was wrong but if your wife was the innocent party to this, she would have let him know with or with out you being there that she wasn't going to take it and let him know in a way that he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

You got a problem with her. Fix it or get rid of her.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

MrK said:


> He's not the problem.


But it feels good to protect what yours even if what's yours isn't so great.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Let's face it. A lot of what a BS has to do is about focussing on yourself. Part of that is not being the fool. Part of that is being a man. When a wife wanders it steals something from a man. 
So we say go to he gym, dress nice, attract other women. Hang out with the guys, get rowdy. Focus on yourself. Well, a big part of that is to not let someone disrespect you, even if your wife led them on. He should be scared of death to do that in your presence.

Even if your wife is an office slot at least I have respect for you.
JMHO (it helps me sleep at night)


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

As a woman, I'm telling you now that any man who is simply a co-worker or even a platonic friend would not say that to me without expecting consequences. I would tell him off right then and there, drunk or not. I would also tell my H even if he hadn't witnessed it. Why tell my H? Because 1) transparency/honesty/trust, 2) get advice on how to handle potential work problems and 3) he'd probably get aroused that some dude said that to me.

What he said, and her reaction? Not cool at all. Red flags!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

yeah_right said:


> As a woman,I'm telling you now that any man who is simply a co-worker or even a platonic friend would not say that to me without expecting consequences. I would tell him off right then and there, drunk or not. I would also tell my H even if he hadn't witnessed it. Why tell my H?Because 1)transparency/honesty/trust,2)get advice on how to handle potential work problems and 3)he'd probably get aroused that some dude said that to me.
> 
> What he said, and her reaction? Not cool at all. Red flags!


Agree.
I like your thought process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Itsmeagain said:


> Nothing was said. I chose to bite my tongue.


This is the biggest red flag of the entire thread.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Had that been overtly said to the woman I loved while in my presence, I greatly think that I would have grabbed the POS and said something to him to the effect of, "if you ever talk to my wife in that fashion again, I will insure that you will receive a one-way guided cranial tour of the inside of your anal cavity!"










Then I would fastly start verifying my wife's phone and text records to see exactly how chummy that they might have actually become since she had started working there!*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Is that, "W", Arb? hahahaha


*If he'd been the one making comments like that to my wife in my presence, then I'd guess so! But I'm fairly positive that the SS Boys would have tazed me long before it ever got to that point!*


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Horizon said:


> No disrespect but why wouldn't your wife re-marry if you suddenly dropped off your perch? Wouldn't you want her to find happiness again in the event of your sudden 'departure'?


None taken. If I'm dead I can't force her to remarry can I? She's just wired for one man. Maybe she will, but she tells me she won't remarry. She'll most likely busy herself with church work and grandchildren when they show up.

Maybe she's got me the way she wants me and doesn't want to train a new man?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Holland said:


> Luckily every man is different. This is not the type of wife Mr H wants, he prefers that I am independent and not clingy. I think he would feel suffocated by this type of lifestyle.
> 
> I am totally loyal, we have a fantastic sex life but I am able to live in the same world as men and not have to put so many walls up in order to be faithful.


My wife is clingy? That's what you got out of what I wrote? That wasn't exactly the point I was trying to make.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

6301 said:


> When this guy whispered that she's hot in your wife's ear, she should have known that it was an in appropriate thing to sat and let him know. But she didn't.
> 
> I got a feeling that this guy is more than just a friend, had too much to drink and forgot that you were near because of the booze. Yeah he was wrong but if your wife was the innocent party to this, she would have let him know with or with out you being there that she wasn't going to take it and let him know in a way that he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
> 
> You got a problem with her. Fix it or get rid of her.


Yep, it was on the wife to put the guy in his place, even if it was totally the booze talking and he had never said anything inappropriate before. This was a classic opportunity to set a boundary, both for the guy in question and any other orbiters in the area who might have been watching.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Kaboom said:


> He wouldn't have said it if there wasn't already some kind of banter going on between them. You do the math.



EXACTLY!!!! You nailed it!!!


I had an ex gf way back and she loved to go to parties and flirt. People knew we were dating but the guys she knew still hit on her.....luckily she dumped me for an ex bf 5 years younger than her (she was 21 and he was 15 - 16)........yay, she's messed up.

Now my current wife of 14 years isn't like that at all. If she goes out, I can trust her and when she goes to work parties, she doesn't drink and is one of the main managers.

Different type of woman.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

It would be totally different if a co worker came up to her and said, " Hi _______. You look really nice tonight." But to say you look hot and whispering it in her ear, you got to believe that something ain't on the up and up.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

sandc said:


> My wife is clingy? That's what you got out of what I wrote? That wasn't exactly the point I was trying to make.


Sorry, no disrespect intended. Clingy was not a good word. I have read many of your posts and your marriage sounds blissful 

What I mean is that each man is different, Mr H loves the fact that I am independent and as I am renovating ATM the thought of me needing to have him home when tradies are there would be odd for him. He respects the fact that I can organise the renovation of a house on my own, that I have worked in the corporate sector etc. There are plenty of men I come in contact with and he has no need to be concerned.


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

The wife gave him permission to hit on her before, and she just gave it again.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Holland said:


> Sorry, no disrespect intended. Clingy was not a good word. I have read many of your posts and your marriage sounds blissful
> 
> What I mean is that each man is different, Mr H loves the fact that I am independent and as I am renovating ATM the thought of me needing to have him home when tradies are there would be odd for him. He respects the fact that I can organise the renovation of a house on my own, that I have worked in the corporate sector etc. There are plenty of men I come in contact with and he has no need to be concerned.


Oh... no need to apologize! Apparently I'm choosing my words poorly lately.  

My point was just to highlight the differences between his marriage and a healthy marriage. I was just trying to illustrate the lengths my wife goes to, to make me feel comfortable with what she's doing as a comparison to the lengths his wife is NOT going to.

And from all appearances I'm not the only one with a blissful marriage, Holland. 

Sorry, OP, threadjack over.


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