# Son's Report Card - I Am Second Guessing Myself and Need Help



## ButtPunch

Let's start this with I was a gifted student and athlete. Everything came easy and natural to me. My parents never once had to help me with anything (homework, sports, etc.) as I was driven. My wife gifted as well. We both went on to college and she is now a pharmacist and I own an engineering firm.

This brings me to my son. My son is the sweetest most unselfish boy on this Earth and I love him more than anything. However, his work ethic is to be desired and I have noticed his reading and reading comprehension skills to be far lower than mine when I was his age. 

I get his third grade report card and he gets a D in reading. I take away video games for two weeks and give him a tongue lashing. I do not take him off the football team as I think removing sports will do more harm than good. Anyway....after a while and the punishment is over I see some test scores and see another D on a reading test. I am instantly furious and take the video games and television away until I can see his grades on the next upcoming report card. I tell him if he gets another D then he can forget about getting these privileges back. My voice is raised this entire time as I am angry. He is crying and it breaks my heart to see him cry. 

I just don't want to cause any emotional trauma to my son but I even more do not want to coddle or enable him. Parenting is hard work....lol.

Advice please....I am all ears.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy

Some kids are slower to learn reading. In second grade my son was way below where he should be. His teacher was on him hard about it and I tried forcing him to do it but I was making it worse and he wanted to give up

So I decided to stop all the pressure and making reading into a chore. I wanted him to enjoy it so I let him learn at his own pace. Got him books that would really interest him, even comics, and by the middle of 3rd grade he was above grade level. 

IMO I would not have punished him unless he was not trying, goofing off instead of doing his work, not handing stuff in, etc. Sounds like he just needs help learning it, not to be yelled at. Sit with him every night and help him read, get him books about topics he will enjoy, get him to read the instructions on his video games.


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## ButtPunch

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Some kids are slower to learn reading. In second grade my son was way below where he should be. His teacher was on him hard about it and I tried forcing him to do it but I was making it worse and he wanted to give up
> 
> So I decided to stop all the pressure and making reading into a chore. I wanted him to enjoy it so I let him learn at his own pace. Got him books that would really interest him, even comics, and by the middle of 3rd grade he was above grade level.
> 
> IMO I would not have punished him unless he was not trying, goofing off instead of doing his work, not handing stuff in, etc. Sounds like he just needs help learning it, not to be yelled at. Sit with him every night and help him read, get him books about topics he will enjoy, get him to read the instructions on his video games.



This is what I was afraid I was going to see and I see your point. I am also aware that I have an overbearing personality. How do I handle the D on his report card if it comes? I can't just act like it's ok or ignore it?


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## PBear

What are you doing to HELP him with his reading? Punishment is useless if you don't give him the tools to solve the problem. Have you talked to his teacher about this? Do you read with him nightly? 

C


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## Observer

I was tough at any early age too, you have to set the bar high and kids always want to see what they can get away with. Typically if you demand and expect honor roll, you get honor roll. 

If he has no reading disabilities, the best thing you can do is make him read. Do it with him, 1 hour every night. Try to get him to read fun books that he may enjoy, even comics. 3rd grade may be to young though...when is is a bit older, have him read books from the Forgotten Realms..he will love them.


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## ButtPunch

PBear said:


> What are you doing to HELP him with his reading? Punishment is useless if you don't give him the tools to solve the problem. Have you talked to his teacher about this? Do you read with him nightly?
> 
> C


My wife reads with him daily during homework time. As a baby we read stories to him at night, every night, before he went to bed. When the second child was born, she did not get this luxury and she is smart as a whip.

As far as tools to solve the problem, I guess that's why I'm here.


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## JustTired

PBear said:


> What are you doing to HELP him with his reading? Punishment is useless if you don't give him the tools to solve the problem. Have you talked to his teacher about this? Do you read with him nightly?
> 
> C



:iagree:

I have to agree with PBear. Have you gotten him a tutor?

My sister was havign the same exact issue with my niece. In her case the subject was math, my poor niece was struggling hard & it wasn't for lack of trying. My sister got a a great tutor that connected with my niece & applied the concepts in a way that my niece understood. Now my niece is getting Cs & Bs in math instead of Fs. 

I am sure that your son is very smart but please don't compare him to you or your wife when it comes to school. Everyone is different & doesn't learn at the same rate.


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## ButtPunch

Observer said:


> If he has no reading disabilities QUOTE]
> 
> 
> He may....I just don't know.


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## JustTired

ButtPunch said:


> Observer said:
> 
> 
> 
> If he has no reading disabilities QUOTE]
> 
> 
> He may....I just don't know.
> 
> 
> 
> Have you gotten him evaluated?
Click to expand...


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## PBear

Have you talked to his teacher to understand why he's failing, and get help from them on solutions? Most teachers are more than happy to help a parent help their child. 

C


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## ButtPunch

JustTired said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I am sure that your son is very smart but please don't compare him to you or your wife when it comes to school. Everyone is different & doesn't learn at the same rate.


No comparison intended just establishing a background of not knowing how to deal with this issue.


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## ButtPunch

JustTired said:


> ButtPunch said:
> 
> 
> 
> Have you gotten him evaluated?
> 
> 
> 
> No. This is his first D. He usually somehow gets a B in reading so I let it slide. I remember wandering to myself how in the world is he getting B's.
Click to expand...


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy

ButtPunch said:


> My wife reads with him daily during homework time. As a baby we read stories to him at night, every night, before he went to bed.* When the second child was born, she did not get this luxury and she is smart as a whip.*
> 
> As far as tools to solve the problem, I guess that's why I'm here.


Being slow to pick up reading doesn't mean your son is not smart. Mine has ridiculously good grades and report cards in all subjects ever since then. He just didn't get the hang of reading and writing until later than many of his peers. No big deal. 

Don't make this into a big thing, like he is a failure or not smart.

Keep reading fun, find everyday places to learn new words (grocery store, street signs) It's Christmas time, writing and reading Christmas lists or wish book magazines would be fun. 
Do you have a "write to Santa and he'll write back" thing where you live? That would be a good project too. If not, he can still write a letter and read one that you write back.


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## ButtPunch

No my son is smart just a slow learner in the language arts. Last year he won the award for best math student in his second grade class.


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## SamuraiJack

I would have a sit down with the teacher first. She may have some insight.
Dropping from B's to D's is a little odd and it may be indicative of either trauma or an environmental change.

Others have said this, but you yelling at him will only drive him further under. You need to support him and make a game plan together.
It may be something as simple as he needs glasses.

But you wotn know until you stop yelling and start asking the right questions.


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## ButtPunch

SamuraiJack said:


> I would have a sit down with the teacher first. She may have some insight.
> Dropping from B's to D's is a little odd and it may be indicative of either trauma or an environmental change.
> 
> Others have said this, but you yelling at him will only drive him further under. You need to support him and make a game plan together.
> It may be something as simple as he needs glasses.
> 
> But you wotn know until you stop yelling and start asking the right questions.


I get your point.

OTOH, My cousin came home with an F in Social Studies in 5th grade. His father beat him with a belt and took everything he enjoyed away from him. Six weeks later the boy made straight A's. Actually he never made a grade below a C the rest of his life. 

So, was he wrong?


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## PBear

*Re: Re: Son's Report Card - I Am Second Guessing Myself and Need Help*



ButtPunch said:


> I get your point.
> 
> OTOH, My cousin came home with an F in Social Studies in 5th grade. His father beat him with a belt and took everything he enjoyed away from him. Six weeks later the boy made straight A's. Actually he never made a grade below a C the rest of his life.
> 
> So, was he wrong?


When I was in grade 7, I brought home a 35 in English. My parents never even spoke harshly to me about it, but the disappointment I felt from them had me in tears in the kitchen. From that point, I took honours in my classes, getting scholarships and graduating at the top of my college class. 

So what's your point? There's many ways to skin a cat... 

C


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## coffee4me

ButtPunch said:


> No my son is smart just a slow learner in the language arts. Last year he won the award for best math student in his second grade class.


Many kids struggle at his age with language arts. My daughter had this issue and it really began to show around 2nd grade. I've never punished her for her grades. 

It sounds like you have the means to get him him help. I highly recommend taking him to sylvan learning center. They will test him, the testing breaks down reading skills to the fundamental level. They then work on each individual skill to help them improve with tons of positive reinforcement. 

My daughters reading level improved an entire grade level in just 3 months. Their system is comprehensive and gets to the root of the problem. 

Remember at his age most likely the trouble he is having is causing him great frustration as he doesn't understand why it's not coming to him easily like math.


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## ButtPunch

I am starting to agree with the masses. My son is too young to receive this type punishment for struggling with his reading. Now the question is how do you effectively back off a punishment already dished out. Not following thru on punishments can backfire.

Just tell him the truth that I have had time to think about this and your punishment is too harsh.

Contemplating having his bed time moved up 30 minutes and have him read for 30 minutes before bed.


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## PBear

Kids deserve honesty as much as the next person. And following through with his teacher is more important than giving him more time to do the same ineffective thing over and over. 

C


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## coffee4me

ButtPunch said:


> I am starting to agree with the masses. My son is to young to receive this type punishment for struggling with his reading. Now the question is how do you effectively back off a punishment already dished out. Not following thru on punishments can backfire.
> 
> Just tell him the truth that I have had time to think about this and your punishment is too harsh.
> 
> Contemplating having his bed time moved up 30 minutes and have him read for 30 minutes before bed.


That's what I would do. Just tell the truth. I've said to my kids that I was angry and spoke harshly with them and I was sorry. I made a mistake. 

They also learned by example to do the same. They lose their cool sometimes and they make mistakes and they admit it to me and apologize.


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## meson

You have discovered that the punishment method has not brought the results you expected. We had similar issues with our kids and especially our middle boy. Like you my wife and I never needed supervision and we naturally learned how to do well in school. This does not happen naturally for everyone. Some need to be taught how to do well and the techniques to use to achieve.

We had a similar reaction to the punishment method. All this did was to make him feel isolated and stupid. He was put into remedial classes and started hanging out with problem kids. His problem was math. He just needed more time and explanation than was given in class. At first we tried tutoring and found that helped but not enough. The time for the tutoring was too little for the money spent. 

What we finally did to solve the problem was to have the homework done in front of us at the kitchen table. This removed a lot of the distractions. We could see when they were daydreaming or not making progress and we would put them back on track. With regard to the skills we would check their homework and find out what was correct and reward them and investigate the wrong answers. Generally the wrong answers originated from misunderstandings of the concepts. We then explained the concepts and generated similar problems to be worked on. 

While going through this we discovered two things for our middle boy. His attention during explanations wondered. And his test taking skills were lacking. We then spent time giving him techniques to improve his listening as well as test taking. We taught him how to make notes and how to study from them. 

This sounds really tedious and it was. It took a lot of effort and frustration but it slowly began to pay off. He went from the equivalent of failing and being placed into remedial classes to being a senior with As and Bs. The work with him helped him realize we were on his side and there to help him. This process helped reverse the isolation he was feeling and made him an achiever.

What is interesting is that a friend of his did have the natural talent at first and he slipped by doing very well by doing as little as possible. As school became harder this boy couldn't get by with doing little and he hadn't learned the skills that we taught out kids. So what was a gifted and talented boy turned into below average while our boy is now in GT classes. His parents took the passive roll and just tried punishment but never fixed or identified the real problems.

This year our boy has finished his Eagle project and now is an Eagle scout with firm experience being a leader. The effort was worth it especially when we see him use techniques we taught him to teach younger scouts how to achieve.


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## ButtPunch

Thanks a lot TAM..... 

Maybe I could place a VAR in his room or make him take a lie detector test and see if he is actually reading his stories....LOL....just a joke 

TAM always helps me out of a jam. Tonight when I get home I will have a talk with him and apologize. I will change his harsh punishment to the reading 30 minutes before bedtime. I will contact his teacher and talk to her and get her suggestions. I will look into Sylvan as there is one about 45 minutes from here.


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## Chocaholic

ButtPunch said:


> Observer said:
> 
> 
> 
> If he has no reading disabilities QUOTE]
> 
> 
> He may....I just don't know.
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry, I haven't read all the replies but by the sounds of it, you are doing everything possible to ensure your son hates learning. Yelling at him, punishing him etc because he isn't exactly like you, your wife and other child. Sorry if that is harsh but you need to get a grip and soon.
> 
> Have you actually engaged with his teachers and asked what they think? Do they think he needs to be assessed for any learning difficulties? What do they suggest he needs to do to help himself?
> 
> Don't ignore the bad grades, try to HELP. Talk to him. Is the school work boring, does he not like the books, does he have friends at school, does he like his teacher etc.....
> 
> Engage with your son and use the educational resources at the school.
Click to expand...


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## ButtPunch

Chocaholic said:


> ButtPunch said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry, I haven't read all the replies but by the sounds of it, you are doing everything possible to ensure your son hates learning. Yelling at him, punishing him etc because he isn't exactly like you, your wife and other child. Sorry if that is harsh but you need to get a grip and soon.
> 
> Have you actually engaged with his teachers and asked what they think? Do they think he needs to be assessed for any learning difficulties? What do they suggest he needs to do to help himself?
> 
> Don't ignore the bad grades, try to HELP. Talk to him. Is the school work boring, does he not like the books, does he have friends at school, does he like his teacher etc.....
> 
> Engage with your son and use the educational resources at the school.
> 
> 
> 
> I believe he was punished for the poor report card. Has punishment been banned in the US? Anyways read the whole thread.
Click to expand...


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## Holland

ButtPunch said:


> No my son is smart just a slow learner in the language arts. Last year he won the award for best math student in his second grade class.


Firstly settle down on the anger or you will run the risk of putting him of education and learning. 

Secondly it is not uncommon for boys in particular to take up maths well before reading. Schools push for reading, language to be the first line of education but this is simply a cookie cutter approach. My kids were educated in the Montessori system and it is individual and student led.
My son who is now almost finished Secondary school was very slow to take on reading but excelled at maths from day one. I understand the worry but his teacher always assured us he was a very intelligent child and that boys can be slower to read and if they are doing well at maths then not to worry.

My son is a A to A+ student in maths, languages, science and English. We never labelled him gifted but were always told he was well into the upper levels of intelligence. IMHO labeling only serves to set people up for failure.

Cut the anger, it is counter productive and learn more about how children learn.


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## NWCooper

This sounds a lot like my youngest son. They started testing him in first grade for ADD and all the other things along those lines because they knew he was smart, but his grades didn't always reflect it. A good example, his 2nd grade teacher asked the class what you would find in the ocean and all the kids said "fish" and my son said "octopus". She said that told her how smart he was, so she felt he had a learning disorder.

I let them test him, but I knew he did not. He just wouldn't do things he didn't like to do and reading was one of them. He was always that way from a toddler, you could ask him typical things like "what color is that?" He knew the answer but wouldn't tell you, because he didn't like that type of thing. He refused to color and things of that nature.

By 2nd grade this had really posed a problem, because he tested negative for ADD and the like, but the grades still weren't great, and he was always testing top of the class on the standardized tests. Teachers insisted he had some learning disability, I knew he just didn't want to do what he didn't like. We eventually ended up at Sylvan for reading. They tested him, said he knew all his letters a nd sounds and there was no reason his reading wasn't better. Signed him up for a 12 week course. His reading level skyrocketed. You know what they do at Sylvan and it works? Bribery...if he did the work, at the end of the session he got to pick a toy, and these were good toys not cheesy little things. I wish I had know that, I would have saved tons of money.

Of course, if he truly has a learning disability now is the time to find out. You don't want him struggling all thru school, when there is lots of disability help these days, lots of techniques to help with them.

My son, who drove me nuts all thru school, not turning in homework that he had done and just in general not applying himself like I knew he was capable of doing, is now a 24 year old. He chose trade school instead of college and was the top of his class and had scholarships to his school of choice. Because that was where his interest lay and he is now excelling in his field.

Anyway, if he has no disabilities and the punishment isn't working try bribery. I swear it works.


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## ButtPunch

Thanks everyone for your help and advice. Last night my Son took two separate online screenings for dyslexia and both stated that there was a high probability that he was dyslexic. So now I am going to contact his Teacher and see what I need to do about it and get him professionally looked at.


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## Flying_Dutchman

I was about to add to the reading ability/dyslexia comments,, cuz one D on a report card isn't indicative of a future delinquent. And that D being English n all.


Something you can try while you wait for the test appointments.

Go to a craft store or stationery store and see if they have thin polythene coloured sheets,, like candy wrappers without the wrinkles. Green, red, blue, yellow,,, as many as you can get.

Take a book with you to ensure they're not too opaque. Lay the sheet on the page and ensure the book is still easy to read.

Some dyslexics struggle with black on white. Change the colour scheme and migraine-like dyslexias can disappear. Hence why some dyslexics wear 'funny'-coloured glasses.

Different dyslexics respond to different colours and for some it'll make no difference.

Get your son to read through the coloured sheets - sheet on page, not held mid-way cuz that will distort.

It may make no difference,, he MIGHT say "Hey. This is easier." and you have a eureka moment.

Worth a try while you wait on appointments. It can't hurt him and might cheer you all up. Certainly, it's better than fights and tears.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Flying_Dutchman

Interestingly, I typed 'dyslexia tinted lenses' into Google and the first page of links were all UK English 'colour' rather than US 'color'. Surprising, cuz this isn't that new. Anyway, a link, just because.

New lenses that could help sufferers of dyslexia | Daily Mail Online
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe

Good evening buttpunch
I have what would generally be considered a successful knowledge based job, have a variety of alphabet-soup after my name from well known universities, travel around the world to give talks, etc.

I say this because I was a terrible student in 1st and 2nd grade ( at a rather mediocre public school), I was nearly held back a year in a school system that almost never did that. I nearly wound up in a remedial track. 

My 3rd grade teacher decided to try to help and realized that I was bored out of my skull. She eventually settled on putting me next to the brightest student in class. For *me* that worked - I suddenly became interested and competitive. I went from the worst student in class to the best. 

That particular approach would not work with everyone, but my point is that there may be some approach to get your son interested in and excited about education. Try to understand *why* he isn't doing well. He might lack ability, but sometimes a lack of interest or confidence can masquerade as a lack of ability.

Another issue is that people are good at different subjects. I was always poor at English (as is obvious from my posts) and completely unable to learn a foreign language. OTOH I was good at math and science.

Find his strengths and encourage them. 

If it turns out he isn't academically inclined, that is completely fine too. Despite my rather extensive "education", the mechanic who fixes my airplane earns more than I do. I have an artist friend who surrounds himself with beautiful women. There are a lot of paths to happiness and success.


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## Lon

If he went from Bs to Ds that quickly, did you take him to the optometrist? Does he sit near the back of the classroom (far from the whiteboard/blackboard)? Myopia can present as dyslexia for distances. Video games on a big TV are probably not a problem yet.

As for reading skills, there are so many variables for success - the first being that not every child's interests begin at the same time.


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## unbelievable

If a kid has difficulty reading, removing video games or limiting TV time might help but it would seem the logical solution would be to replace these distractions with additional reading and reading instruction. Maybe you could link what you want him to be interested in with that which he is already interested in. Maybe some age-appropriate biographies about sports heroes. Maybe you could get him to write a pretend sports newspaper article. When I was 8, I can't say I was all that jacked about "reading" but I was keenly interested in history and especially military history. I couldn't feed that curiosity without reading. 
I used to play spelling and word games with my kids all the time and had them read aloud to me. That seemed to help.


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## GTdad

It may also be a matter of finding something he's interested in reading.

We went through something similar with one of my boys. I was the guy who always read at above my age level, and I was looking at my third grader who apparently could barely read at all, wondering what the hell was going on.

Then, he discovered comic books. And devoured them. And discovered a joy of reading no one could force on him through punishment. Most of what he reads now is focused on biology and zoology.

Now he's thirteen and reads faster than I do, and I'm no slouch.


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## ButtPunch

Thanks again for the great advice. I have read each of your posts and agree with most if not all of them.

Dentist just gave me a referral for the Orthodontist for him. When it rains it pours.


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## Miss Taken

I think that while some kids may have a genuine learning disability, sometimes for others it takes them a while for anything to sink in. I don't know how else to describe it but for some kids (speaking from experience here with our oldest son) something just "clicks" that didn't click before.

Our son was a mainly C/D grade student from kindergarten through to the end of grade 3. We tried everything - extra help/worksheets at home, extra help at school and talking to the teachers and stopped short of having him evaluated. I don't like labels...sometimes I think the label becomes the disease but that's another rant for another day.

I've never been tested for being gifted but wouldn't be surprised if I was in school. I was always an honours student even in college when I skipped class in lieu of the pub way too often but still Aced every test, exam, report and presentation. It just comes easy to me without trying...not so for our son and I dare not compare him to his face about it.

So like I said, our son did poorly in school. C's and D's with the occasional B grade thrown in was the norm from kindergarten through to grade 3. This was despite dad and I helping at home and teachers and older peer tutors helping at school. Suddenly in the fourth grade, everything just clicked for him. He started pulling As and Bs and was sharp as a whip in English and Math. He is now in the fifth grade at an even better school and he is still getting great grades.

I think it was developmental. Something in his brain just hadn't connected enough for him until then. Asking him to do better whether by incentive or punishment (the carrot or the stick) would have been akin to asking him to grow taller and some chest hair. It just wasn't going to happen until it was time. Some kids come out of the womb as sharp as tacs, for others it can take a while. Whether it's a case of true learning disability or just a development issue (we all grow at different rates). 

I would not punish for poor academics so long as they were trying in class. We never punished, just encouraged ("We will always be proud of you so long as you try your best.") with the poor grades and emphatically praised the good ones during that time. Now we're at a point where we can praise them all and he got there on his own. 

Lastly, do praise him for his strengths. Even when our son wasn't booksmart, there were so many incredible characteristics/traits about him. He has a intuitive sense with animals, he is kind and giving and compassionate towards everyone, very level-headed and mature for his age... never temper tantrumed or talked back much and helped around the house. All of the things you can't learn in books he had back then... I'm sure your son has great qualities too so don't forget about those things or more importantly, to praise those things even if you are dealing with D grades and orthodontic visits!


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## michzz

Have your son's eyes checked for goshsakes!

Get him evaluated for other concerns. 

Punishments are not working.

and to answer your earlier question about someone you know hitting their kid to drive up the bad grades to good grades?

That is so wrong on many levels.


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## SadSamIAm

When I was in grade school, all I heard was how brilliant my older brother was. It was a small school and all my teachers were my brother's teachers a few years before. All I heard from my parents was how brilliant my brother was.

I rebelled. Felt I could never be as smart as my older brother. I became the class clown and gave up on school work. Nothing anyone could do.

I failed grade 8. Was very embarassing in my small town. I begged my mother to go and talk to the school and have them move me on instead of failing me. My mother told me that it was up to me to succeed or fail and that I had failed and I needed to redo Grade 8. That was my wake up call. I grew up a ton that summer.

My second year of grade 8, I was an honors student. Won an award for most improved student in the school. I was an honors student the rest of high school and graduated college with honors as well.

Don't put too much pressure on your kids when they are younger. Don't compare them to you or your other kids. Everyone is different.


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## ButtPunch

SadSamIAm said:


> When I was in grade school, all I heard was how brilliant my older brother was. It was a small school and all my teachers were my brother's teachers a few years before. All I heard from my parents was how brilliant my brother was.
> 
> I rebelled. Felt I could never be as smart as my older brother. I became the class clown and gave up on school work. Nothing anyone could do.
> 
> I failed grade 8. Was very embarassing in my small town. I begged my mother to go and talk to the school and have them move me on instead of failing me. My mother told me that it was up to me to succeed or fail and that I had failed and I needed to redo Grade 8. That was my wake up call. I grew up a ton that summer.
> 
> My second year of grade 8, I was an honors student. Won an award for most improved student in the school. I was an honors student the rest of high school and graduated college with honors as well.
> 
> Don't put too much pressure on your kids when they are younger. Don't compare them to you or your other kids. Everyone is different.


I promise I am not comparing and I believe my son is really really smart. I do think he has a reading disability. 

I met with his teachers and instead of having the risk of his permanent record being labeled with a disability, I have decided to seek a private source for his evaluation. A Scottish Rite learning center.


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## michzz

I heard a very telling comment once from an expert on gifted children.

Her experience was that most of the time the 'gift' is being developmentally accelerated compared to the average. But that eventually most kids catch up.

The upshot is that most of the early developers don't stick out after a certain age.

She equated it to how some girls get boobs sooner than others.


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## ButtPunch

michzz said:


> I heard a very telling comment once from an expert on gifted children.
> 
> Her experience was that most of the time the 'gift' is being developmentally accelerated compared to the average. But that eventually most kids catch up.
> 
> The upshot is that most of the early developers don't stick out after a certain age.
> 
> She equated it to how some girls get boobs sooner than others.


I absolutely believe that.

Emotionally mature
Sexually mature
Physically mature 
Intellectually mature

All four are areas where one kid can be light years ahead but eventually most catch up.


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## G.J.

1.Are you and your wife getting on as you did a year ago as children will pick up on any change no matter how small as their safe world is repetition and familiarity

2.Have *you* not your wife spent a couple of times a week with him and sat with him while he reads for 20 mins

3.Have you contacted the teacher/helper and asked what they think the problem may be

4.WHat is the reading material at the minute at school for this quarter

5.Talk to him and see if he is worried about anything...home life, school friends, even teachers

6.Never raise your voice with ref to his school work or you will compound the problem
Children respond like other people by praise so concentrate on anything he does when reading that is *positive* even if its a five letter word that he knows how to say
Never...never be negative with children


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