# Narcisstic Personality Disorder and Cheating/Infidelity



## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I am not sure if this topic belongs in this category but I will post it here and hopefully get some more feedback.

I am actually very interested to hear the opinion of people who deal with marriage counselling/coaching and their take on this(Affairecare, Tanelornpete and others).

Looking back at my ex husband and how our marriage ended, I have been doing a lot of reading especially on the internet regarding Narcisstic Personality Disorder and cheating/infidelity. My ex H was not officially diagnosed but he certainly fits the mould in many of the stories I read(no empathy, no closure, manipulations of different kind,lying, selfish behaviour, infidelity etc)

So here are my questions:

How often do you encounter NPD spouse in your cases where you actually try to save someone's marriage? Is it ever successful? Is it even worth trying?

I have been trying to find my own answers for several months now. I know it can be exhausting and not healthy for me but I am certainly not going to find any closure coming from my ex H.

Thank you.


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## Workingitout (Sep 27, 2010)

If he is your ex, then why are you spending time trying to understand him? Is it for closure? You'll need to get to the point where you can ask him for that closure and information.

My therapist has told me (after reading my wife's diagnosis of several of those disorders) that everyone (even us "healthy people") have characteristics and traits of many of those "diagnosis". You can definitely play "home therapist" but it won't do much for you to move forward.

My wife was diagnosed with some NPD and BPD amongst others. She has shown no symptoms of either since she's been home from rehab (7 months).


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

Yes I am looking for closure but also this subject got me interested as I was reading more and more and found many similarities with my ex H behaviour. I know we all carry some amount of narcissam but I wanted to find out more about NPD as it seems like until recently many of them were actually misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all until it is really late. All I wanted to hear is how MC deals with these type of people if they can even be brought in front of a counsellor.

Btw I am moving on ex or not. It is a daily emotional struggle still at this point but I am not giving up on that. His ego is so big that I don't think I can ever expect to hear the closure from him but I certainly don't want to fall prey to another narcissist. I have a child with him and the last thing I want is him to project that behaviour to our son.


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