# Husband looks at teen boy porn



## MsDani

I've known for the thre years ive been married that in the past my husband was curious about naked men and what not but he said it was just a phase just a fantasy and that he didnt really wanna have sex with a man. but last night i saw that he had been looking at porn again but this time he searched for "teen boy caught undressing' he's into that voyeur stuff - like hidden cameras looking up skirts and stuff . which throws me off cause sometime he will be watching me undress and shower and i dont know it and it kinda freaks me out. but NOW this? looking at girls is one thing but now the girls he loks at are all under the title TEEN and now he is looking at TEEn boys I dont know what to do I asked him last night if i shgould be concerened about what he looks up on the computer and he just turned and finished doing the dishes i kept trying to talk to him and tell him im not upset or disgusted [ which i AM] but he just kept quiet and wouldnt say a word... now today next day he acts like nothing happened last night. IM so confused i dont know what to do i dont wanna find out later down the road that he is cheating on me with anyone let alone another man


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## swedish

It may be that his porn use is frequent enough that he gets bored and moves on to more taboo stuff to get turned on....just a guess...I would ask him if he thinks porn viewing gets more extreme as time goes on in order to get aroused by it....if he says 'yes' then ask him if he thinks that's a red flag or problem....

It's a shame to hear you have been very understanding about his porn use, yet he doesn't even acknowledge you or respond when you have questions. That alone would lead me to believe he is not ready to confront it.


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## dobo

These are underage kids?


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## dobo

BTW, do you have children?


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## myra23

in the same boat as you... found out that my husband is looking at young men pictures... he has been on the computer a lot the last year... don't know what to do... have kids and have been together for a long time...


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## dobo

I'd take my children far from someone like this. Having been molested as a child, I would never risk their safety for an instant.

And, I'd turn in the husband to the police.

The child you save may literally be your own.


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## Otter88

You are correct in feeling upset with this. It is a perversion and wrong. Men like your husband perpetuate child abuse, such as that necessary for photos of naked CHILDREN to be on the internet; he is part of the twisted audience.

If it were my husband he would be my husband for as long as it takes to file and obtain a divorce. If you have children, be sure you have evidence of his perversion so he only gets supervised visits.

Good luck.


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## MsDani

They aren't children he is looking at if that were the case i would be filing for divorce the website was a college dorm locker room hidden camera.
Either way I feel werid around him now I dont want to have any intimate contact i feel gross


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## MsDani

ive told him i dont care if he looks at porn just not on the computer cause it causes viruses. and if he so chooses to still do this to keep it to porn stars that every one looks at and not normal people. and ESPECIALLY not people that0 live in the same area as us. and that joining as a member to these sites is NOT ok either. I semi talked to him again and he said the only reason he types in teen is because if he didnt it would only show old people.... but i just replied and said well you still looked up guys. and im confused and not sure how to go about being ok with this and that i just need time to wrap my head around it and for him to not expect me to be affectionate anytime soon---he said i was dumb and emotional[ im 9 weeks pregnant]and that what he looked at idnt change how he felt about me... that may be true but what he doesnt understand is what he looks at makes me change the way i feel about him


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## dobo

He said you were dumb? And it doesn't change how he feels about you? 

What a guy.

How old is this idiot?

You know what else? Looking at locals is trolling. He is working up to finding someone to do this with in person.

And he wants men. So he's got a sexual interest in men. 

How does he explain that?


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## cody5

I can tell it is all women responding. I hope you have come to the obvious conclusion that your husband is gay. And sorry, there is no such thing as a "bisexual" guy. Those are just gay men who want to hide their true sexuality.

And "teen" in reference to internet porn usually refers to 18, 19 year olds (although surely some younger are thrown in).

And don't worry about your children. Men looking at young girls/boys on the internet don't want to rape their daughters/sons. That's just rediculous.

Your husband is just exhibiting standard behavior of a gay adult male. He is 100% fine (except for the fact that he lived a lie about his sexuality).


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## dobo

Cody, where do you get that there are no bisexual men? And also, where do you get that looking at children online doesn't get acted on?

I agree that the guy is gay. But the rest of your information is questionable and/or dangerous.


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## cody5

Dobo. Looks like you've got some issues spoiling YOUR objectivity. This poster clearly states a couple of times that these are not children he is looking at. And with your 2,000 posts or whateve it is, I doubt you have 100% solid fact on your side every time. You sometimes go with your gut maybe? I am an older man and may have a little more objectivity than a women in this matter. And I found it amusing that all of the women were looking at this guy as a mainly straight man with a passing interest in looking at nude young men, when flat-out "gay" is WITHOUT A DOUBT the more apt description.

And OF course looking at internet porn COULD lead to child molestations. But based on the number of people looking at porn vs. the number of child abductions, I'd say there is NOT a conclusive connection.

But look. I don't want this to get carried away as a case of semantics between you and me. This woman wants to know what is going on with her husband. And I think my description of him being your average gay man that for some reason got into a heterosexual marriage is a lot closer than some of these other nonsense theories being spewed. Let's hope no one from the gay lobby is reading this. A child molester just because he likes gay porn? PL-EASE!!


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## Mommybean

I'm pretty much on the side of the fence here that says he is gay, and for whatever reason, has been trying to live the life of a heterosexual man. I have actually known several men to do this; a few actually left their spouses to live instead of hide. A couple I know will NEVER come out, nor will they pursue an actual relationship with a man, because of the stigma and ostracization they would face from the people they love. For them looking at porn is their ONLY outlet. One friend in particular, is half in and half out of the closet (don't ask don't tell mentality). He prefers boyish looking men...not because he has pedophile tendancies, but because "manly" looking men intimidate him. So, he goes for the younger guys, the babyfaced ones, little facial hair, etc. NOTHING about children excites him...he just likes twinkies (boyish looking men). 
The problem I DO have with what her H is doing is that he is viewing hidden cams from a college locker room...those guys on there, would likely be mortified if they knew that they were being cammed. It's just not right; it infringes on their personal rights.


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## dobo

Cody, your statements were general and give the impression that you believe these things in all cases. Yes, the guy is gay. But your other comments are not factual. And I never said looking at porn = molester. But looking at child porn would be an indication of risk. The OP clarified that it wasn't child porn. However in your statement, you didn't seem to distinguish what kind of porn you were talking about.

"And don't worry about your children. Men looking at young girls/boys on the internet don't want to rape their daughters/sons. That's just rediculous."

young girls and young boys you said. 

Also, there are bi-sexual men out there.


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## MarkTwain

cody5 said:


> And sorry, there is no such thing as a "bisexual" guy. Those are just gay men who want to hide their true sexuality.


Your theory goes against all the research which says that everyone is on a spectrum between 100% straight and 100% gay. Of course bisexuality exists. For instance, most people when questioned will have had the occasional dream of some sort of intimate encounter with the same sex.

When we sleep, there is no censor to say, "dude, that's gay". It just all kinda hangs out


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## cody5

You're never wrong, are you dobo? In your zest to "win" our argument, you've kind of neglected what this woman is looking for. Am I wrong in my analysis of her husbands situation vs. all of your psychobabble? 

And Mark, I've had dreams where I walk own the street in my underwear. Does that mean I'm an exhibitionist? And sorry. I'm afraid I AM 100% heterosexual, and I'm not saying that from a neanderthal "I'm all man" perspective. The thought of touching a man in a NON SEXUAL situation grosses me out, and I'm sure most heterosexual men agree. Gays may be a little different in that going through the other door is at least socially acceptable, but they're still gay, not bi. I've got nature AND nurture pushing me away. 

Sometimes all of you professional forum posters stray a little too far from regular guy/gal reality.


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## MarkTwain

cody5-

Are saying point blank that bisexuality does not exist?


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## cody5

Mark.

I can't imagine there is anyone less qualified to comment on the existence of bisexuality than myself. But the only time I have ever heard anyone say "I'm bisexual", it was in the context of "look how cool I am, I'm bisexual". And it's usually women. Women have less fear (repulsion?) of same sex intimacy than do men. 

I have no knowledge of male bisexuality. I have read PLENTY, however, on homosexuals who live heterosexual lives in public but gay lifestyles in private. But again, I think the purpose of this board is to help the people with problems, not have discussions amongst ourselves.

This woman is confused about her husbands actions. That being said, her husband is gay (or bisexual, but I'm sure it doesn't matter to her). He is a man. Men look at internet porn. When looking at intenet porn, the "teen" category is the most popular. On the sites I see, teen means 18-19. And it is the rare site where they look to be younger. My gay friend and I agree that when the rare site comes up where they truly ARE children, we are repulsed and exit immediately.

Her husband is normal. She has to deal with the fact that he went into her marriage under false pretenses, but the rest of his actions are normal male. That's all I'm saying. You, me, and Dobo can continue the "Cody is a Neanderthal" discussion elsewhere. But in this thread, say something that helps this board member that I haven't already articulated (rather accurately, if I say so myself. I think I've nailed this one).

Members such as you and Dobo do a great service to people with problems here. But sometimes the layman's opinion can help also.


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## MsDani

The only other thing i got out of him was that it was just something that "slightly interested him for the moment..."and " was nothing he would ever actually do". The things that make me think he just might be gay is our sex life- everyother guy ive been with we had sex all the time . [sorry to be so graphic] but all i had to say was i want sex and BAm they are hard and ready to go- but with my H its like we have to just lay there and do slow boring forplay for 30 freakin minutes and by the time he's ready to go. im so over it and just plain annoyed.. Ive never had this problem with anyone. and i dont know how to deal with it. and its not exactly something you want to talk to your H about but you know you need to like hey I m pretty sure your gay and by the way the sex is great----but can you get hard faster and skip all the awkward forplay ....


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## MsDani

its just makes me feel like he's not really attracted to me at all that im not sexually appealing to him otherwise he would be more aggressive in OUR sex life rather then him going to porn all the time. its annoying Porn does nothing for me i dont have an outlet . wheres my fun in life?.... i think ive pretty much scared my husband out of looking at men online from here on outbecause the two times he's done it since we've been together ive caught him .--- i dont knowits a very hard situation- me being oregnant and already having had one child i dont exactly feel as sexy as I use to be pre babies..on top of that we hardly have sex and i think the reasons are that im not attractive enough anymore and he'd rather look at other woman and men online then have sex with me.... my body is only going to get worse with time and i doubt ill look as good as i did after the first baby once i have baby #2. its bringing me down. i dont know how to talk to him about it- when i know all he is going to say is your wrong i love you what i look as doesnt change how i feek about you ur the most beautiful girl to me blah blah blah--- he has a crappy way of showing me.


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## Mommybean

If he is in fact gay, don't think just because you found out he was looking that he will stop. He's just going to figure out a way around getting caught. Honestly, he can very well love you, and think you are beautiful, and not want to hurt you...but if he is gay, then he is living a lie and not just hurting you, but hurting himself immensly. Does he look at "straight" porn also??
As far as your looks, why be so down on yourself!! Yes, having babies changes your body, but it does not HAVE to be for the worse. I have two boys, ages 2 and 4 and I look BETTER than I did before I had our first son! I feel sexier and more confident than I ever have, and my H tells me that I get more beautiful each day. Do things for yourself, take care of yourself and you will feel a LOT better about who you are.


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## cody5

If he's gay (and I'm more convinced now than ever now), his attraction to you (or lack thereof) is not your fault. You could be Rhianna and it wouldn't matter (I LOVE Rhianna). And sex is the least of your problems. His marriage to you was a lie. That's the problem you need to deal with. Once you deal with THAT, if you even CAN, you can work on the sex later. 

I'm a guy, so it's different, but if I found out my wife were gay and needed to look at lesbian porn while she let me have my way with her, I'd be fine with it. (What am I talking about: it would be AWESOME!!).


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## dobo

Cody, I know men who are primarily hetero but still enjoy penetration and they're not averse to cum. You can claim what you will, but as far as I can tell, you have a limited understanding of male sexuality. 

And yeah, guys think it is cool that their woman would be into having sex with other women. They never consider that it might eventually lead to their being excluded. You're unfortunately, a typical, selfish man. You honestly think you'd be included? Hardly.

Further, it is always interesting that if the man is considered to be gay, other men are automatically put off. Why is it impossible that the woman could be included if he were gay?

If my husband wanted sex with another man, I would consider it. I love him. It wouldn't be about me. It'd be about him.

Men, OTOH, think having a "BI" woman is cool. Their fantasy. 

More like, their delusion.


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## cody5

Dobo. Like I said to Mark, this isn't about me. (But I still think I know a little more about male sexuality than you, by the way. The "wife as a lesbian" thing was a joke. Loosen up).

Tell this woman something to make her feel better about marrying a man who lied to her, and continues to do so, about his sexuality. I may not know the full extent of male bisexuality, but I know betrayal, and this is betrayal. 

So let's end this. OK. You won. You know more than me. I'm an idiot. Now get back on track and let your inellectual superiority help this woman out.


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## CaliRN

yeah most likely he's gay, worst case he's a pedophile


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## MerryMerry

I don't care what you call it: gay, straight, bi....the point is he's looking at porn all the time instead of focusing his sexual energy onto you. I'm an idealist. I think my husband should share his fantasies w/me and I'd listen and not judge. I know for a fact that my husband has a man-crush on Johnny Depp. We laugh about it because it's so ridiculous. HOWEVER....if it went to the level of my husband looking at teen porn, I'm sorry but forget it! I'd be like wtf?! I'd ask him point blank if he thinks he's bi or if he wants to be with another man? I've asked my husband that before too. He says there's a difference in admiring another man's "beauty" (whatever) and in looking at guys' bodies on the internet. My husband looks at women-porn. Again, whatever. I think if it grosses you out that he looks at men/teen porn then you tell him it bothers you and ask him to go to counseling with you to work on that. It may be a deeper issue as others have said above. I know what being pregnant is like so it's easy for everything to irritake the heck out of you...much less your husband acting like a FREAK. It may come out (no pun intended) in counseling that he prefers men...who knows? But wouldnn't you rather find out now than when you catch him trolling gay bars in 20 years? Assert yourself and get some answers.


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## sooner2000

Beware of making assumptions when it comes to a man viewing porn. Porn will start off as innocent and then lead down to more and more perverse things just to get that "high". I wouldn't say he was gay, but it definitely is causing a problem in your marriage and he needs to understand this. It will be hard for him to admit to you that what he is doing is wrong and he may never will. Don't give up trying to talk to him. Approach him with genuine sincerity and try to have an open dialogue between the two of you.


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## dre

ok jumping to the fact he is gay is wrong i think he has over stimulated himself on pron and needs something new to get turned on but looking up teen guys does raise flags. teens does mean 18 and 19 in the porn world. Watching porn does alter your thinking and should be keep to a limit. just ask him to watch it with him and see what he says


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## InnerGold

Wow a lot of stuff through out this post. One thing that concerns me is how often people say, "It's Ok to look at porn. It's natural. It's normal, etc..."

Porn is very destructive and distorts what is really natural and healthy sexuality. Your husband is addicted to watching porn and is increasing his acceptance of what is Ok. At first when he started watching it, there was stuff that he is viewing now, that he was disgusted at but now feels fine about it.

His silence says he recognizes he has a problem but is not quite ready to admit it. His desire to look at teen porn is extremely concerning because this is just leading into more perverse behaviors.

We like to use a quote frequently to help explain pornography addiction: "Once is to many and 1,000 is never enough"

Another words, you can never get enough of what you don't need.

There have been a lot in this thread that have mentioned the concern about pedophilia, I echo their concern. There have been some that have discounted this saying it is not that serious. This is incorrect! The more we get into dealing with sexual addiction issues, the more we realize abuse is a huge part of it. The staggering statistics that are coming out about generations of abuse that has continuously been perpetuated is extremely saddening. Here are some very saddening  statistics:

*The statistics are shocking*
1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.
Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults occur to children ages 17 and under.
An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

*Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse* 
30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

*Sexual abuse can occur at all ages, probably younger than you think* 
The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old.
More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8.
Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12.

*Most children don't tell even if they have been asked*
Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.
Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.
Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.

(source: ACE Study - Prevalence - Adverse Childhood Experiences)

As you can tell sexual abuse is a lot more prevalent, unfortunately, then we would like to admit so there is great concern in his viewing of this filth.

I agree with one of the first responses and that is he needs to get some counseling. He may be dealing with an issue that is deep rooted that he is or has blocked out.


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