# Received a text message late last night...



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

from a number I didn't recognize...turns out I was on the wrong end of some confusion but, the text said:

"It's okay, still miss u. I forgive you. Be blessed..."

Bugged the hell out of me last night, couldn't sleep...even texted back asking who it was but never heard back (did today...)...was it my wife using someone else's phone forgiving me for not getting her something for V-Day...whose phone, so on...who was she with...you know the type of thoughts that invade you when sleep eludes you...

Even today, after finding out it was a wrong number text...the message hung with me...a stranger said "I forgive you..."...and blessed me...a stranger did that (unknowlingly, but it turned out powerful for me)...

and finally, I've taken meaning from it in my own warped way...all these months of separation, I've excepted blame for drinking too much, for being a poor husband, I've asked forgiveness but haven't received it...yet, finally, it dawned on me...I'VE YET TO FORGIVE MYSELF...

today, I've asked myself to forgive my failures...myself said okay, but only if you agree to move forward...step by step, slowly, today being the first step...small as it might be, I'm finally accepted that my past is behind me, I am growing...I can do this and I can deal with my shadows...

I'm putting a sticky note on my mirror right besides the AA prayer that says..."I forgive you"...


----------



## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

That's powerful. You do need to forgive yourself. I like how you turned something that haunted you all night into something positive. That is a blessing.


----------



## jmfabulous (Jan 19, 2011)

Forgiving yourself is the first path to healing, I believe.


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

DjF your post made me cry.
We are all in so much pain and we are healing ourselves and we are becoming better people....and this is all because of THEM.
But they are not going to be around to see that and to experience the greatest love...


----------

