# Forget Sex



## Welshtyke (Dec 14, 2013)

Get the loving right first. All the thattouching, feeling, long sensual kisses etc. This will help produce dopamine a chemical that imcrease sexual desire.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 12345Person (Dec 8, 2013)

It's selfish if your partner needs to run through hoops for you to give them your best.

I give my best all the time.


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## Sabariel (Jun 14, 2011)

I agree. When we first met, my H and I decided to wait before having sex. This was a new thing for both of us, we'd always been the type to take that step on the first or second date. But when we met, we felt a special connection that we'd never had with anyone, and we knew from the beginning that we wanted to go slow and get it right.

That being said, I don't agree with the whole "save it for your wedding night" idea. I can respect it on religious grounds, and I always believe that everyone has the right to make their own decisions. But in my opinion, virgins make terrible lovers, and what better way to completely ruin your wedding night than by losing your virginity??

As with anything, practice makes perfect.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Sabariel said:


> That being said, I don't agree with the whole "save it for your wedding night" idea. I can respect it on religious grounds, and I always believe that everyone has the right to make their own decisions. But in my opinion, virgins make terrible lovers, and what better way to completely ruin your wedding night than by losing your virginity??
> 
> As with anything, practice makes perfect.


My wife would probably agree with you on that. While I was not a virgine when we married, I had lost my virginity to her just several months earlier. The first year or so of our marriage was plagued with sex problems caused by my lack of experience and her not letting me know that I was not a good lover. 

A word of advise ladies. If your SO is not giving you an orgasm, DO NOT FAKE IT. My wife did this for almost two years until she got fed up and totally cut me off from sex, saying that she could do a better job by far than I could. Had she told me early on I could have worked to improve. Bottom line is. If you dont tell him sonething is broke. He can't work to ix it.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Welshtyke said:


> Get the loving right first. All the thattouching, feeling, long sensual kisses etc. This will help produce dopamine a chemical that imcrease sexual desire.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


While I agree with you, what does a spouse do if their SO love language is NOT touch and they don't like a lot of affection?:scratchhead:


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I suppose but not everyone's reaction to dopamine is to have sex. If that where the case than they would just have a handy little dopamine pill that LD people could use to increase their sex drive.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

over20 said:


> While I agree with you, what does a spouse do if their SO love language is NOT touch and they don't like a lot of affection?:scratchhead:


Find a less frigid partner. 
On a serious note, they chose you as well, so it is up to them to make the effort to meet your needs as much as theirs.

Remember this and tell her/him this. Needing affection is a NEED.
Not desiring affection is not a NEED. They are very different things. 
If either spouse needs affection then the other needs to provide it.
Period.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> I suppose but not everyone's reaction to dopamine is to have sex. If that where the case than they would just have a handy little dopamine pill that LD people could use to increase their sex drive.


There are already dopamine pills, however they are illegal. Think cocaine, amphetamine etc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

I'm convinced that the attitude you bring to the (metaphorical) bedroom will have the biggest overall impact on the quality of the sex life you both enjoy. Sex doesn't take place in a vacuum (well, most of the time) and it's part of the bigger relationship narrative. The relationship framework a pair of people build - deliberately or not will extend into all parts of their lives.

Working on it every day, in all the little and big interactions is like building your own business. Ignoring it is like playing the lottery. One path has higher odds of success than the other.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Building a business has a residual value regardless of success - equipment, real estate, intellectual property, and so on. Putting all the effort into a relationship without reciprocation could mean that when it's all said and done nothing was gained.

Expected Monetary Value and all that... http://m.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-calculate-expected-monetary-value-emv.html

A relationship should have all its viable components at the start - if it is built on a wing and a prayer things may not turn out quite so well.


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