# I think I suddenly have ED? What to do?



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Not sure if this is the right place to post because I've been divorced for a year now. But it does have to do with sex! So here goes nothing...

After months of not dating and being intimate with a woman, it finally happened Sat night. I've met a wonderful girl and we've been dating the last several weeks. So Sat night, it happened and I struggled keeping "up" and did not climax. Ouch.

I will admit we had been drinking and I've noticed that it had affected my performance "ability to keep hard" before in my last relationship.

The following morning I didn't have as much trouble staying firm, but I still couldn't climax. 
However, I was still able to make her reach a great orgasm. 
But I'm still a bit ashamed! I don't want her thinking I'm terrible at sex, cause I'm not.
Could it have been the fact that I still may have had some alcohol in my system and lack of sleep?
I've also been wondering if it's "in my head"? This is a possibility. But I've had a bit of an epiphany, just before I started dating again that I do not want reconciliation with my EX. That was a big relief actually. 
I just turned 41 years old. I am in great physical shape. Eat right. Exercise regularly as well as masterbate regularly (haha).

It's strange. My first GF after divorce I had zero problems performing. 
My 2nd GF I struggled at first(not able to stay hard for very long and unable to climax), but then it got better. 
Now after my first time struggling with my 3rd, I am a bit worried. And she wants me using protection. I agree it's the safe way to go and will use it. But I am not used to using one at all and I could barely feel anything! 
So is this NORMAL? What should I do??

Should I get Viagra? Haha. I never thought I would say that because all my life I always craved sex, masterbation and climaxing always came easy to me, like nearly every night.

I really like her and she really likes me. I wonder what she's thinking of me right now. I don't want this to be the one thing that becomes a deal breaker for her if this continues to be an issue.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Alcohol could definitely be an issue.

So can masturbation...if you've been wanking a lot, it can become challenging to maintain an erection without the same kind of physical AND mental stimulation (porn). If you think that might be the cause, lay off the masturbation for a while.

Are you on any medications? Anxiety and depression meds can do bad things to erections.

Otherwise, it likely is performance anxiety since this is the first woman you've been with in a while.

If you're fine while masturbating, I doubt it's a medical issue.


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## Ostera (Nov 1, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> Not sure if this is the right place to post because I've been divorced for a year now. But it does have to do with sex! So here goes nothing...
> 
> After months of not dating and being intimate with a woman, it finally happened Sat night. I've met a wonderful girl and we've been dating the last several weeks. So Sat night, it happened and I struggled keeping "up" and did not climax. Ouch.
> 
> ...


I'm 50... sometimes it's in my mind that I need to 'perform'. When I get like that mentally it screws things up... many things play into performance...

Also, it is well known that mens T is highest in the morning and tapers off by night...


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> Not sure if this is the right place to post because I've been divorced for a year now. But it does have to do with sex! So here goes nothing...
> 
> After months of not dating and being intimate with a woman, it finally happened Sat night. I've met a wonderful girl and we've been dating the last several weeks. So Sat night, it happened and I struggled keeping "up" and did not climax. Ouch.
> 
> ...


Alcohol can do it. 

Are you getting good morning wood still? That was THE sign for me my ED had arrived. Rarely get morning erections. 

If you are fine in the morning and when by yourself, it is likely just performance anxiety or other stress. Your statements about being "ashamed" and "deal breaker for her" shows you're stressing about it. Stop sweating it so much, see a doc for a checkup, and maybe try some meds (viagra) to get you over the hump. New relatiinships and "wanting to be your best", as well as not having a comfort level with someone can cause a lot of performance issues.

BTW, nothing to be "ashamed" about. It happens when we get older. That little blue pill is insanely popular for a reason. Just don't bury your head in the sand about the issue, confront it sooner than later, don't obsess about it, and get some help. All will be well soon enough! 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NatureDave (Feb 19, 2013)

Everything that all the others have said...

Lay off the masturbation and save yourself for the intimate encounters. This will improve things...

When drinking, you may still be able to get it up, but much harder to orgasm.

Also, check into viagra. True story...

Had a one-time episode like you described and went straight to my doctor. 

He cautioned me to only take half or quarter of a pill to begin with and see how I reacted. Well, one quarter of a pill and two hours later I was still standing on my head to pee...

Now I will take just a tiny crumb of a pill and I respond totally naturally whenever the mood strikes all that day and into the next. Probably don't even need it, but it provides a security blanket and confidence that is invaluable.

Now one pill will last weeks and I never have any worries.


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