# This will be a crappy thanksgiving



## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I am very grateful for everything that God has allowed me to have, life, sight, motor skills, but this will be a sad thanksgiving, it will be the first that I will spend away from my one in only, first in 9 years =(

Wonder what he will do......


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## Marigold (Oct 29, 2010)

I'm very sorry that you are feeling sad, just remember that it is natural to feel that way, be kind to yourself, it will pass and you are not alone


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

I'm very sorry hon ::Hugs::


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

It's our first separated after 25 years, so I can relate...I'm giving thanks for my kids, my health, my job...and I'm going to pray for another 25 years, only that it will be better...

I'm also going to spend the day with family...my 75 year old Mom said she would pamper me!!!

Take care of yourself!!!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I feel for all of you that aren't with your partners,lovers, spouses, however you choose to name your significant other.
I too, am not with the love of my life as I work overseas. However, I do it by choice, this is my job and we deal with it.

Please take a minute and think of our men and women in uniform that are a long way from home, not by choice, not because they did anything wrong, just because they love our country and where they are needed is far, far away.

God Bless Our Troops!!!


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

DanF said:


> I feel for all of you that aren't with your partners,lovers, spouses, however you choose to name your significant other.
> I too, am not with the love of my life as I work overseas. However, I do it by choice, this is my job and we deal with it.
> 
> Please take a minute and think of our men and women in uniform that are a long way from home, not by choice, not because they did anything wrong, just because they love our country and where they are needed is far, far away.
> ...


Saw your post and it startled me...I go by DanF on other places...great reminder to remember those serving, God bless all that where a uniform in our nation's name!!!


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## Illflyaway (Nov 12, 2010)

My thoughts are with you. You'll get through this. Just be gentle with yourself.


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

So, what did you end up doing for Thanksgiving, PreludeCkN? I hope it went well for you. 

Now that you're free of your ex (and he can't have been your "one and only" if he's not with you now--don't you think your true "one and only" would have treated you better?), you can revise--or outright reinvent--your holiday traditions in the way you'd like.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Holidays are tough, but they only last 24 hrs. I've spent quite a few, alone, overseas with the military. I tried my best to stay busy and to concentrate on those things I could do and avoid fixating on things I was missing. I would avoid getting into the alcohol. As bad as missing Thanksgiving dinner is, think of those who's loved ones have recently died. You'll get to see your's again and any day can be made a special one.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

So for thanksgiving I was with my family. I wasn't all that sappy about it. But I just miss him, I miss his companionship. I miss the fact that he was there to have dinner with us. But it's not just thanksgiving, I miss him all the time. No I am not depressed. But I find myself lost in my thoughts, thinking about him. It doesn't hurt me anymore, I just miss him. 

My husband was in the military as well, we didn't see each other for one thanksgiving, but that was okay, because we were together. It's not the same as now, where I know that I am limited. I did think about those times when he was in the military, sometimes he had duty on thanksgiving so we celebrated thanksgivng the next day. 

He did call me the next day to ask me how my thanksgiving was, and he told me about his. We chatted for a while, just like old times. 

Even though, he says we are just friends, I find it hard to be just friends with him. For me, he will always be my one and only. I can't see myself with anyone else but him. I love him, and I can't seem to stop. This is my life for now. 

I hope you all had a good thanksgiving. I hope you were with your love ones.


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## everantisocial (Jun 29, 2010)

I have all the same feelings about Christmas,Christmas for the last 6 years has involved his whole family and me being busy running around entertaining them (don't get me wrong I had a great time), by now the menu would have been planned, the baking done and the celebrations beginning....but this year I am finding it hard to keep up the enthusiasm. I have plans, parties and get togethers, my family visiting but its just not the same. I have had to get through my wedding anniversary on Halloween and bonfire night (2 of my favourite holidays). I suppose I will get through this as well. 

"But I just miss him, I miss his companionship. I miss the fact that he was there to have dinner with us. But it's not just thanksgiving, I miss him all the time. No I am not depressed. But I find myself lost in my thoughts, thinking about him. It doesn't hurt me anymore, I just miss him"

That sums up just how I feel 5 months on. I get on and cope,but I'm sick of coping I miss having him there to share the load. Its all just so tiring. I miss having him there to lean on. Just to talk to, to give me a hug and tell me I'm going to get through this.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I still see him, on a weekly basis, I just went to dinner with him last night. And every time I see him, I get all dolled up, and I feel like a teenager again. But when he takes me home, I feel like I am back to the nightmare again. Even though we don't talk about our future together, I know that we will be back together again, as husband and wife. 

I have family I have friends, but nothing compares to him. I too thought about my anniversary by myself. Note I said thought, not celebrated. I wonder if he even remembered. I still feel like I need to get pass this, broken heart of mine. Sometimes I feel like I am making a connection with him and I feel like maybe he would want something more, and then nothing. But I am still very optimistic. 

I already bought his christmas gift, nothing fancy, nothing special, but I am sure he will enjoy it. Will you get him a gift?


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I've invited my wife and daughter (living together right now) back here for Christmas Eve...I hope they come, it would be the first time the whole family would be together again--we've got 2 boys too...even if it would be for that one night, I think it would be good for our kids.

We spent about a half hour togther today and it was the first time since she left that she talked about a future together, being grandparents together (our first is due in Feb.)...I think we will be okay too...just can't make any mistaeks...

I bought my children crucifixes and my wife a crystal rose and vase...now I'm just waiting for Christmas...it's either going to be one of the best ever and a step toward our future together...or I'll be selling a crystal rose on ebay...


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

On no don't think like that. I am sure your wife will gladly accept the rose, why wouldn't she? For my husband's b-day I gave him a booklet of biblical scriptures that I wrote down by hand. I told him that they were scriptures that saved my life. My husband's sees this change in me and tells me that he would like to know more of this "God" lol. However he has yet to come to church with me, but I feel like the time might be close. He told me that this was one of the best things I could have given him, better than anything else I might have given him.

I believe that as long as things are civil you two will get along. And when she sees that you are giving her this rose from the bottom of your heart, she wouldn't dare refuse it, and I believe that these gifts are the gifts that count the most. 

I hope that you get your christmas gift =)


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I said that not being totally serious...

I wrote a letter to my family that I will be reading to them...admitting to them my alcoholism, taking acceptance to the pain I have caused, and the reasons for my presents to them...that is my true gift to them.

It's been less than 3 months that this all boiled up...the pain from rejection, her telling me she didn't love me anymore...resentment...loneliness...but I have matured more in these 3 months then I have in a long time...she did what she felt like she had to do, and it jolted me back to my senses...

We will be okay...I couldn't say that 2 months ago when her hugs felt so empty...but I am learning, today I told her that I'm guilty about harping on the things she didn't do and never saying thanks for what she did get done, told her sorry and thank you...brought a tear to her eye...I don't bug her to come back, but she is coming over to visit more and more...


God Bless!!!


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

They will see they change without us telling them about it. They will see that we do want change. And I for one, I will not give up on my marriage. I will continue to wait for my husband, as long as it takes. People tell me that I should talk to him about it and ask him what the future holds for us. But I know what his answer is now, and I don't want to hear it. I would rather him tell me in the future what he wants from us. 

I hope that your marriage gets restore and I will pray for you and your family. 

God Bless you and your family!


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