# Need Help w/ a reply to Text Msg my Son Rec'd



## LaxUF (Feb 13, 2012)

Good Morning (or not....)

I like to consider myself pretty competent when it comes to handling things like this but I have an awful migraine this morning & can't think straight.

My (almost 15 yr old) son is grounded this week and I have his cell phone. One of his friend's texted him last night asking if he wanted to spend the night at another friend's house. Naturally my son didn't reply & neither did I b/c I had forgotten his passcode & he was asleep (I have it now).

When his friend did not receive a reply last night he sent another text calling him a name which at that point wasn't offensive, just teasing. BUT later it escalated to "your _(sic)_ a dumba*s" and the last one was "Idiot"...

I started to send a reply this morning but I can't decide whether or not I should address the fact that I don't appreciate him calling my son and his "friend" a db or an idiot. These boys are in high school so I'm pretty sure they would laugh and my son would get teased UNLESS... I can come up with a really good reply. 

I haven't told my son about it yet because he is already in big trouble with me. Right now he'd have better luck puttin a g-string on an alligator than gettin me to make his life any less uncomfortable at the moment. 

I hope this makes sense... my head is killing me!

thanks y'all....


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Any reply from you can only make it worse.

Leave it alone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I don't understand what you're trying to accomplish. If that's the worst thing they say to each other, I'd be VERY surprised. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LaxUF (Feb 13, 2012)

PBear said:


> I don't understand what you're trying to accomplish. If that's the worst thing they say to each other, I'd be VERY surprised.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


True... true... thanks for the perspective... I'm just a little pissed right now and the migraine doesn't help.

Mind you this is coming from a single mom of a teenage boy who is grounded for lying to me... and when I elaborate you will probably want to reach through the ethernet & smack me.

This lie started (and escalated) because he turned in a paper for his AP Gov't class before I had a chance to proof read it. Go ahead... laugh at me now... "I got problems". 

It's the level to which he took this lie, the duration of the "cover-up", the outright manipulation before, during & after he was busted and NOW he is just burying his head in the sand. 

So I guess I'll just ignore the text and let my son deal with it when (IF) he ever gets his phone back.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

They're likely feeling rejected due to the nonresponse. I agree with Dean, they will learn later why there was no reply. Kids do this, they express their anger directly to their peer friends when feeling rejected and therefore low. They can't SAY they're feeling rejected, that's too close and intimate and creepy, so they call each other bad names when their self-esteem in a relationship has taken a hit (due to non-communication.) They will sort it out later and the name-called will realize that he (or she) jumped the gun on feeling rejected. It's a learning curve, don't worry, they will tease the name-caller and it will be okay. Kids can work this out on their own. Sometimes better than us adults who think we are older and wiser and therefore can do something to make everything all fair and right. I only intervene when there is a danger of life involved. It's difficult to stand by and watch others struggle with communication when we want everything to turn out right for our kids (and their friends), but giving them the gift of their own learning space is sometimes the best thing to do (and easy, once we get over the hump of wanting to 'fix').


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

They're probably effing around.

They're teenaged boys. When my brothers had their best friends over, they'd get all insulting to each other and laugh.

My husband and his friends are big goons when in the garage working on cars. 

It's hard to read intent with a text.

Leave it alone. Your son is fine. You said it was a friend who texted him. It's fine.

My friends and I joke that way. If someone saw the way we banter back and forth, they'd think something was wrong...but it's just how me and few friends are together. It's not insulting from them. From other people that I'm not close to, it would be insulting. But it's 

Also, they were probably trying to get his attention because they didn't know he was grounded...


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## LaxUF (Feb 13, 2012)

Thank you!!! I was already pissed to begin with then my "momma" instincts kicked in & I so badly wanted to tell him there was a good reason why he didnt get a reply & to "stop acting like a needy little snot & back off w/ the name calling".... But I didn't, thankfully. My son has deleted texts from this same kid b/f due to foul language b/c he didn't want me to be offended. Sometimes I forget how easy I have it w/ my son. Things could be sooooo much worse. I'm grateful for the reality check & perspective from y'all! I bet my boy wld be even more thankful! LOL!!! : )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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