# Problems with sex....



## cnt (Sep 11, 2008)

Hey all,

I am going to swallow my pride a little bit and ask for some advice from anyone who maybe has had the same problem or really anyone who has some advice.

As some may know from my other post, me and my wife had a rough year and half where I struggled with my Crohn's Disease, passing of my father and falling into really bad depression. During this time, and really for the past 3 or so years up until a few months ago, me and my wife really did not have much of a sex life at all. Maybe once every few months if that. My health was just not good at all. My wife was very understanding and supportive all through this time.

Luckily, over the past few months, due to a wake-up call that I sorely needed from my wife, we have been able to really fix things and get our marriage back to how it used to be, actually even better than it used to be. With that our sex life has also come back in full swing. We have always been pretty active with sex, when I am feeling good. Thanks to a new medicine I am on, Cimzia, I feel great lately and our sex life is back to normal for us. Which for us is usually a few times a week.

When we first started to make love again, to my surprise I was lasting a lot longer than normal, most times longer than her. I had expected quite the opposite, since we had not been very active for a long time. Before the whole depression and lack of a sex life, I would characterize myself as probably average when it comes to how long I last in bed.

However, the problem is, after a few weeks, things slowed down a little bit, we still are active, but now there are some weeks when we might only make love 1 time, instead of a few times. I have noticed now, when we are not having sex a few times a week and active, I am not able to last very long at all. This has never been a problem for me in the past and it does get frustrating. My wife is super supportive when it happens and I really believe her when she says it is ok. But, it does frustrate me a lot. For me, sex is always much more pleasurable when we both are completely satisfied.

Has anyone else had any problems like this, where all of a sudden there are times when you just don't last in bed, when it was never a problem before. I researched the new medicine, Cimzia, I am no and haven't been able to find any sexual side effects.

Any help would be appreciated. This is not a huge problem between me and my wife, and for her she tells me it is not a problem at all. But, it is frustrating for me, because I have never had to deal with this before, and it upsets me when I can't last long enough to satisfy my wife. Usually when this happens I will satisfy her in another way, but I would still like to figure out what the problem is all of a sudden.

Thanks in advance for any advice or opinions,
cnt


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## GLC748 (Sep 11, 2008)

cnt,

I don't necessarily have a solution for you, but I am in a very similar situation, where my wife and I are having sex less often all the time, and I really have difficulty lasting. I think a big part of me not being able to last is the mental buildup to being together (I would like to much more often, but she doesn't want to). She also says it is fine (to be done so quick), but much as you, only a couple years ago I could go long enough for her to climax several times; now I am usually finished at the same time as she is. 

Do you use profilactics at all? If not, and it doesn't affect your enjoyment much, it might be something to suggest to your wife to try, as putting on a condom for me is an easy way to last long(er).


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## cnt (Sep 11, 2008)

Yeah, at the current time we are using profilactics. I even tried the extended pleasure ones which contain a lubricant that is supposed to help dull the sensation, but it didn't help much.

I don't think it is the build up to making love that has effected me. Like I said, most weeks we make love several times a week. Than some weeks it goes down to once a week or so.

Its really frustrating and I just can't seem to put a pattern on it, or figure out when or why it happens, it just does at times.

Thanks for your response, any other suggestions or advice would be very appreciated.

Thanks,
cnt


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

There are rings you can buy that are supposed to help with this. Have you heard of that?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

See the peaking exercise: Premature Ejaculation
And there is one to try with a partner too.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Some of the issue is undoubtedly the expectation that you have put upon yourself, and your wife to perform. If you are having sex once a week, take pride in the fact that you are having 200% more sex than some other poor bastards (me) on this board.

Relax. You don't have to hit a home run every time you step up to the plate. You can't. You won't. Learn to accept that, and enjoy the overall experience with your wife instead of relying on frequency, duration, and satisfaction as your measurement of success.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Deejo said:


> Relax. You don't have to hit a home run every time you step up to the plate. You can't. You won't.


You have a point, but I don't like the idea of that becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. With practice, most people can vastly improve their performance to the benefit not just of each other, but of society as a whole.

I can usually get my body to do what I want most of the time, and if I can't I make a note of what went wrong, so I can better myself next time. I had to learn ejaculation control, I did not just wake up being a long-laster one morning.


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## [email protected] (Sep 14, 2008)

I can tell you thing, let go of what the problem is and enjoy your wife. There is nothing she can do but to love you. Seriously. I have health issues myself and the thoughts of not pleasing my women, but the truth is if she loves you and work with what you got then its all good. To be frank with you ...At least shes with you and not on the streets! Think about that!

Furtheremore your still married.. Statistics say that most women cheat on there men because of the issues in bed. But like i said shes there with you, be happy! Hey by the way foreplay and some smoothing music will help!


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## [email protected] (Sep 14, 2008)

If you need, go to the doctor and get your blood pressure check b4 you have a stroke. LOL


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## manonfire111 (Sep 16, 2008)

I always try to make sure my wife is stimulated enough prior to intercourse so she will always have an orgasm before me. If not, then I can always stimulate her manually/orally to orgasm. I agree with the other post...enjoy your wife...We sometimes don't last long enough..other times long enough...Enjoy your wife...good suggestion...thanks..


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## martino (May 12, 2008)

Now here is a post Twain was born to answer!! i'll read your link as well. I've read that you are suppose to take deep breaths and make sure your heart isn't racing too much. Also I found if I think about something completely repulsive and opposite of my wife turning me on I can last longer.


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