# Cant make a decision.



## Harris (Apr 5, 2009)

Today is 6 months since my wife left me. We had plans to reunite but then she totally changed her mind and has no contact with me except when we need to talk about our 2yo child.

After she left, the child was with her until December 29 and i gave her around $1500 as child support, her support and some other stuff to help her with. After December 29 the child has been with me because I didn't work due to anxiety. She has worked the whole time but never even bought a bottle of milk for the baby.

I am hoping she would return to me but as the time passes by, I am starting to believe that I just live in denial.

She told me she doesn't want to go through the court and we made verbal agreement for child custody but who guarantees that she won't try to screw me over? 

What should I do? Should I sign a seperation agreement (including the child custody) and then put it through court to finalize it? 

What if she refuses? What about these 5 months that she did nothing for her child? 

*I just want to have my fair part of parenting and custody. But I don't know how to get prepared or what steps should I take to prevent something bad from her side. (Can't afford a lawyer right now.)

PLEASE SOMEONE ADVICE*

PS. She loves the child but ACCORDING TO HER is controlled by her family. Her family made her hate me. But that doesn't mean I can let her take adventage of me and that also doesn't mean I do not want a fair deal. Child's wellbeing is my priority but they have experience in custody cases, lies and false witnesses.


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

This is one of the reasons my H and I have not seperated yet, I am so worried about what our kids may go through, or how custody will be decided, it literally scares the crap outta me. 

So I sit and suffer an unloving marriage... just for the sake of my kids. 

I understand your situation. If I were you I would at least talk to a lawyer, most give a free consiltation, then you can decide from there what to do. Worry about coming up with money later if it's needed. 

I wish you luck, and hope all goes well for you.


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

Do NOT accept a verbal agreement. There is no proof of anything if in the future anything needs to be proven. Keep a record of all monetary transactions to her. Do not EVER give her cash...make it a check or money order so it can be traced if needed. Keep a calander and mark each day you have the child, and each day she has the child. A simple blue circle on he date for when you have the child and a red circle on the dates she has the child.

Write up a written agreement with all you have agreed on so far...make her sign it, you sign it too, then take it to a notary public. If she does not agree with what is on the written document, do NOT let is slide. Dont let her play hardball without playing back. If she simply refuses to sign it, I am sorry to say you are going to have to find a way to get a lawyer.

I do not know any family that would "brain wash" a child into leaving their own child behind...if that is the case, you are much better off without her or the influence of her family. She is using the fact that she is being controlled by her family as her excuse so she doesn't feel she needs to be accountable for her actions. She is a coward.

Tell her that you want to put any agreements into writing, no more verbal agreements on ANYTHING!!!!! You need to protect yourself and your child.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

Hello harris, Do me a favor friend. Go see a good attorney! Do not tell your wife that you are seeking counsel, then do whats best for you. After that come here often to vent and help yourself get through the hard times ahead. Good luck!


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

I agree get all in writing someway or fashion. need to protect yourself. thats what my wife and i are doing when she comes to get the kids from me. we only have a verbal agreeement on her taking the kids and such right now. cant really keep kids due to my work schedule. I will not put my kids in a babysitting situtation where they are all day and most of the evening, to come hom,e just for afew hours and to bed . wake them up and take to baysitters. You MUST get any agreement in WRITING!!!!

My wife and I will be signing our self made seperation papere when she gets here. She already agreed to it so I m sticking her to it. Just Hang in there though.


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