# An affair a friend had



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

A friend was going through a very rough time. Her husband had, after years of trying, got her pregnant. With twins. (We'd all met at college, years before.)

He decided that he would have a fling before he settled down as a father. I had a sudden inkling as to what he was going to do and who with and I said: "If you are thinking of having a one night stand with xxxx, don't! What if your wife finds out?"

He denied anything was going to happen and laughed at my concerns.

So, of course, he had sex with the OW, who was his wife's best friend and also a Lesbian.

His wife was deeply hurt and devastated as was the live-in girl friend of the OW.

They decided to move away from the area and, as far as I know, are still together 18 years later.

In the maternity hospital my friend met a woman who was giving birth. They struck up a friendship and when she met the woman's husband she found him attractive and decided to make a play for him and had a PA with him, even when she was recovering from the C-section birth of her twins!

I asked her how she thought her new friend would feel if she found out that he was cheating on her? She seemed to be upset by the question and it was obvious she had given his wife's feelings absolutely no thought at all!

She had often asked, rhetorically, how her best friend could have cheated on her? I then turned it round and asked how she could cheat on her new friend with her husband?

I found it a bizarre turnaround. 

Eventually the relationship petered out.

It was this friend who helped me with my rather idiotic and fatalistic affair who, as it transpired, had aspirations for me to become the father of her twins. So... that was probably the basis of the affair that started in the maternity hospital?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

So your fried was cheated upon by her H who she then cheated on with the H of a friend she made at the hospital?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> So your fried was cheated upon by her H who she then cheated on with the H of a friend she made at the hospital?


Yes. I must admit I found this behaviour utterly bizarre and rather unlike her. Or unlike the person I thought she was.


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## RandomMan (Jul 10, 2012)

uh, I have a question. 


WHAT?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

That pretty much sums up the mind set of a cheater when they embark on an affair or sex outside the marriage: They don't ever think of the consequences. They don't think about the people they are about to hurt. They don't think about a damn thing except the object of their desire - the OW/OM.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

What did he have like a fresh breast milk fetish or something? 

Maybe the affair ended after the girls deflated.:rofl:


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

MattMatt,

I am sad that you saw this.

I have a friend (?) who fvcks, for the last 15 years, several girls, married women, and long term affairs with women (say 2 years or more). I dont know how he has not been caught by his wife.

OMG.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> In the maternity hospital my friend met a woman who was giving birth. They struck up a friendship and when she met the woman's husband she found him attractive and decided to make a play for him and had a PA with him, even when she was recovering from the C-section birth of her twins!


That's a little mind boggling...


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MM I think you need new friends.

.... and a new wife...

But that's just me.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

MM - that was hard to keep track of. :scratchhead:

I caught up with a female friend a while back. She told me about her affair, how her H told her to stop it, how she did stop it...kind of, but was still "talking" to the OM years later. Her H obviously didn't know this. 

I asked, "How could you do this? Didn't you worry that you may have to look in your son's eyes someday, and tell him what you did?" Dead silence for a long time, and then she mumbled, "No, I never thought of that. I don't know what I was thinking." I patted myself on the back since I thought I got through to her. Never heard from her again. I guess she didn't like what I told her.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> MM - that was hard to keep track of. :scratchhead:
> 
> I caught up with a female friend a while back. She told me about her affair, how her H told her to stop it, how she did stop it...kind of, but was still "talking" to the OM years later. Her H obviously didn't know this.
> 
> I asked, "How could you do this? Didn't you worry that you may have to look in your son's eyes someday, and tell him what you did?" Dead silence for a long time, and then she mumbled, "No, I never thought of that. I don't know what I was thinking." I patted myself on the back since I thought I got through to her. Never heard from her again. I guess she didn't like what I told her.



That's typical stuff. That's why cheaters tend to band together. They don't like the judgments other people make of their case.


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> MM I think you need new friends.
> 
> .... and a new wife...
> 
> But that's just me.


:iagree:


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## Monroe (Jun 21, 2012)

I have a friend who is a perpetual OW. She jumps from married man to married man, never giving it a second thought. As soon as D-Day happens, she jumps ship and find the next married guy to "take care" of her. 

She was married once, a long time ago. To a man who left his wife for her. She got bored as soon as challenge stopped and she left him... on to her next married man.

Her whole existence is a huge trigger for me and I am slowing leaving the friendship, which is hard, we have been friends for 38 years.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Too confusing!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> MM I think you need new friends.
> 
> .... and a new wife...
> 
> But that's just me.


+1
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

RandomMan said:


> uh, I have a question.
> 
> 
> WHAT?


That is what I said to her, when she told me.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> MM I think you need new friends.
> 
> .... and a new wife...
> 
> But that's just me.


Nope, the wife I had is the only one I want.

And I decided to go NC on the friend when it became clear she had aspirations for me to be a father to her twins.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Nope, the wife I had is the only one I want.
> 
> *And I decided to go NC on the friend when it became clear she had aspirations for me to be a father to her twins*.


Sighhh....

You lead a very interesting life Matt Matt... and you associate with a very unusual crowd of folks.

Are you in academia? Colleges and universities are full of free love people like these.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Sighhh....
> 
> You lead a very interesting life Matt Matt... and you associate with a very unusual crowd of folks.
> 
> Are you in academia? Colleges and universities are full of free love people like these.


No, not academia. Thank God! I met my wife at a private training firm, and I met my former friend whilst I was at college. Her husband introduced us and I met them again by chance a couple of years later when they moved to our town. They'd started drinking in the pub I used to drink in.

He was an accountant and she was a senior administrator for a big international firm.

I think, Bandit, that what I have noticed tends to indicate that fairly ordinary people can do some extraordinary things or can have some extraordinary things happen to them.

By the way, does your sister have a problem with loud or sudden noises? Or with people suddenly touching her?

My wife jumped out of her skin this evening when we were sat together, she was leaning on me and my knee snapped. (The Old age bus is much more dangerous than the Karma bus!)


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Yes. Loud noises scare her to death. I used to be a gunfight reenactor in my 20s but she would never come watch me because she cannot handle the sound of gunfire. Thunder and lightening? O man. She barely tolerates hugging, and the first time she and her ex-boyfriend tried to have sex she had a panic attack. That's one of the reasons he broke up with her, and he was the most gentle, patient guy you'd ever want to meet. 

She did get to where she liked kissing. Strange.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Yes. Loud noises scare her to death. I used to be a gunfight reenactor in my 20s but she would never come watch me because she cannot handle the sound of gunfire. Thunder and lightening? O man. She barely tolerates hugging, and the first time she and her ex-boyfriend tried to have sex she had a panic attack. That's one of the reasons he broke up with her, and he was the most gentle, patient guy you'd ever want to meet.
> 
> She did get to where she liked kissing. Strange.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, this is sounding so familiar!

A noise like a knee cracking freaks my wife. And an unexpected touch can make her jump. But she loves thunder storms! Though I have been told that UK storms are fairly tame compared to those in the USA.

As for sex? Generally OK, though there were in the early days panic attacks sometimes. I just learned to watch for the signs and stop, if it happened.


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## viggling (Apr 27, 2012)

it took me 3 times reading it to figure out what happened there :scratchhead: i guess his wife believed in a eye for a eye??


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

viggling said:


> it took me 3 times reading it to figure out what happened there :scratchhead: i guess his wife believed in a eye for a eye??


I think she actually had some kind of a breakdown.


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