# I want to stop thinking!!!!



## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

Okay... My husband walked out last month for no reason and with no notice. I just got a note in the mail form my landlord that I have to vacate our apartment by the end of the month!!!! My husband hasn't even spoke to me yet!!! Also, I checked the credit card and he has spent 300 dollars on new clothes, been to the bars every night, and just last night was laughing with his frat brothers. How do I not think about all of this. I am miserable and feel like a weight is sitting on my chest and he is having a blast!?!? How do I deal with this? He was a responsible and loyal and respectful man for the three years we were together. It is like he is a different person. I can't stop thinking about this.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Join the club, life will get better. It took about 10 weeks for me to stop crying, and although I am better and don't cry...I still think about how stupid he is from time to time. Nothing like before. Just grieve and take time to let things settle and you will be fine and aving fun in no time.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Ya know...its hard to do anything but be confused, upset, and thinking 24/7 when someone. U thought u knew does this! I'm sure what u seek is what we all seek....answers, understanding and CLOSURE! I'm come to terms that I may never get those things and u might not either! Find a therapists if u can, hire an attorney if u can, read up on what to do to protect yourself and focus on u as much as u can. You don't mention children, be thankful for that....this is a time you definitely need your family and friends! Ask for help, take care of u....he's lost and everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry this happens to you but u will get through it! Stay strong, feel what u feel and it will get better
....


My thoughts and prayers are with you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

That's the same way my H acted when he told me he wanted to split and we were still living together. The first thing he did was spend 600 on new clothes, then he proceeded to get drunk every single night for 2.5 weeks in our apartment with his twin brother (with me there feeling completely powerless). He went to a bar, H had never been to a bar before! I moved out when my mother booked me a flight because I had been crying on the phone to her for 2.5 weeks. 

I thought those same feelings about my H too, that he is nice and all that BS, but obviously that isn't true or they wouldn't be acting that way? 
I'm crying myself to sleep every night, waking up in the morning crying, and all of this has little to no effect on H either. If I were you I would get out of that apartment asap, you say you haven't been talking to him, but are you keeping track of what he is doing? If you are, what we are going through is hard enough already, knowing that he is going out and having fun and doing whatever he feels like makes it A LOT harder. It's really really hard, Im going through the same thing. I don't know how or when they stop loving but they do. 
Sorry you are going through this too, you can take comfort in knowing that you aren't alone in this.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

No you're definitely not alone. I am in the middle of an inhouse divorce and it is hell. He seems perfectly fine, whistling etc... My divorce court date is 7/19. It took 4 months of surprise,& then action to get to this point. I had to do it all since he said he preferred the roommate situation we had.

Yeah, I have rug written all over my forehead. I don't think so buddy boy. He went out and bought a motorcycle, dyed his hair etc...you should see that bike now it is so garish with all the chrome and skull and crossbones....Mind you he is 65 (older than me).

My heart broken, I cried, but did not plead nor beg because that wouldn't have accomplished anything anyway. I heard what he had to say, made my decision based upon his words and hurtful actions and now I am going to rub my feet on that doormat and take off.

Some days I am strong and others not so strong but no where where I was 4 months ago or even 2 weeks ago. 

IT DOES get easier.

Good luck!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Well, in terms of not thinking, some brain damage from hypoxia has made my situation a bit more manageable. It is impossible for me to overthink anything now. The side effects have been mostly positive.

Anyway, be careful what you wish for.
But personally, I think you are onto something.
Less thinking and more intuition is sometimes more useful.
So, you get an eviction notice. My mind starts thinking about a new balcony with very low rent and red geraniums on the sill, an excuse to eat my breakfast in a cafe every day, not having to do dishes, and to declutter my life a la Goodwill. If your H is running up your credit card bill, just write them and and have yourself removed as of a certain date, send certified mail and keep the receipt and copy of the letter for your divorce settlement negotiations. In fact, I'd make sure my credit was all my own and no joint accounts and a fraud alert put on. Then open a new bank account post-separation and run new income through there, saving receipts of all deposits. 

I'll agree, his departure is strange.
But it doesn't require a rocket scientist to read the writing on the wall. And there doesn't need to be a whole lot of thinking between the writing and the action. Some things just don't compute. H's who leave in the night would be one of those.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

sadand said:


> sounds like you need to act to protect yourself financially as well. He should not be spending your joint funds


I'm thinking this as well.


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