# Does your SO know you post here?



## breathedeep (Nov 8, 2015)

If they do, how do they feel about you posting about your private life?

If they do not know, how would they feel if they found out?

I am here because I have very few people I can talk to about my relationship with my wife. For the most part, my relatives would take my side on most issues whether I was being a jerk or not. I would likely not get unbiased advice. Also, I wouldn't want to go behind my wife's back and talk to my relatives about our relationship. Plus it would only fuel any ill-will they might have for each other at holiday get-togethers. On the other hand, if she found out I was posting here, she would take great offense to it and would feel very hurt. Unfortunately, she is not very receptive to my feelings in our relationship, so simply talking with her about how I feel is out of the question most of the time. For me, because of the anonymity, this is a good compromise.

So how would your significant other feel or react if they found out your posted here?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

My wife has my password and at one time read every post, even the private section....I said some pretty blunt direct things, expecting her to read them...If I can't take the A$$ whippin I won't say it...


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## breathedeep (Nov 8, 2015)

Woodchuck said:


> My wife has my password and at one time read every post, even the private section....I said some pretty blunt direct things, expecting her to read them...If I can't take the A$$ whippin I won't say it...


Yours is probably the approach I will take.

So far, anything I have written here (which isn't much, yet) wouldn't come as a surprise to her as we've covered it all in depth. I think she would just be hurt that I was discussing it with someone other than her.

My wife has all of my passwords too, so it is likely only a matter of time until she finds my posts here anyway.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

Yes. She has expressed no interest in reading anything on here but if she wanted too she would just have to say so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

thebirdman said:


> Yes. She has expressed no interest in reading anything on here but if she wanted too she would just have to say so.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ditto, although she doesn't know my username here as its not one I normally use on other sites.


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

thebirdman said:


> Yes. She has expressed no interest in reading anything on here but if she wanted too she would just have to say so.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


same for me too.

i'm sure he's seen me looking at this page.

If he asked about it, I would tell him whatever he wants to know. We don't lie to each other. I'm sure he would object to having our personal business posted on the internet and (lol) my username. But my internet use isn't of much interest to him.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Yep, my hubby knows I post here. He's not bothered by it. Sometimes he'll come have a look while I'm posting, but not very often. Most of my posts are in law related, lol, which is what brought me to TAM in the first place. Blo0dy inlaws!


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## sydalg (Nov 8, 2015)

I actually sign up just yesterday. Sunday's are usually pretty busy days for us and with me at only 10 days of giving birth I passed out putting our son to sleep. By the time he came to bed doing some work as this was his week on call. Anyways i am planning on telling him today after work and the night time routine. Besides he knows the reason of my only post so far. It won't take him by surprise or it shouldn't.


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## sydalg (Nov 8, 2015)

So I just told him and read some of the posts and comments. His 1st reaction was so you talking.. To what I interrupted him with .. **** about you? Yes and then laugh. Went ahead and told him exactly what was my only post so far about and started reading out load the book someone recommended me to read in that one post. So will see


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## imperfectworld (Jan 18, 2015)

Hell no.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Well.... She suspects and I don't specifically hide it, but she is very private and frankly "afraid" and very uncomfortable with the Internet and social media in general.

I'm on the computer a lot, reading for work and medical journals and the like for enjoyment. That includes a lot of marriage stuff because I think it's important to take the pulse of the world and see if there are better ways of doing things, communicating, etc.

Not her even though I've encouraged her a bunch over the past several years.

So I guess the answer is no she really doesn't know what goes on here and sort of doesn't want to know... It's the one thing I don't like about this.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

My wife knows I post here and thinks it's sort of an odd hobby, but isn't terribly concerned about it.
I never post anything that would upset her.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

No way - this is where I come to vent. I don't vent too much to my family (my mom would have heart failure if she saw what I posted here, and my brother has enough on his plate with a job and kids to deal with my issues). My wife is a mental midget with the maturity level of a 12 year old, so talking to her about anything is pointless.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

ChargingCharlie said:


> No way - this is where I come to vent. I don't vent too much to my family (my mom would have heart failure if she saw what I posted here, and my brother has enough on his plate with a job and kids to deal with my issues). My wife is a mental midget with the maturity level of a 12 year old, so talking to her about anything is pointless.


Don't hold back; tell us what you really think about your wife. >


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Yes she knows. I have it bookmarked at the top of my browser and it signs itself in, so she can read whatever she wants whenever she wants. I've invited her to read what I've written on a number of occasions. So far she has not expressed interest, but the offer stands.


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

Nope, This is my place to get unbiased opinions.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

technovelist said:


> Don't hold back; tell us what you really think about your wife. >


Yep - sorry about that. :wink2: Funny how things started going downhill after the kids arrived. That's when I noticed how immature she is (constant cussing, talking to our HS kid neighbors like they're her buddy, no knowledge of what's going on in the world outside of her little bubble, etc). Her stupid, PITA drama queen sister doesn't help, and wife's inability to stand up to her doesn't help either.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Yes, he knows I post here and knows my username. I don't hide anything from my husband. He has read some of my past posts and we talk about it. I think it has helped us make good progress, although we've back slid lately.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

imperfectworld said:


> hell no.


ditto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Yes, H knows I post on here. My computer signs me on automatically so if he was interested he could look at what I post. As far as I know he has not bothered to look.

Normally all he asks is if I am portraying him as an a/hole. I tell him I only do that when he deserves it.


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## Heatherknows (Aug 21, 2015)

Bellavista said:


> Yes, H knows I post on here. My computer signs me on automatically so if he was interested he could look at what I post. As far as I know he has not bothered to look.
> 
> Normally all he asks is if I am portraying him as an a/hole. I tell him I only do that when he deserves it.


My husband knows too. He said to me "So do you talk about our sex life?" I said..."hmm a little."


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Yes.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

My ex fiancé saw me reading TAM asked what I was posting about. Told her asking for advice how to handle things in objective way. She never asked to read but I would have had no issue with her reading what I posted even though some would have stung. I actually wish she WOULD have read the things people were saying so she saw I was not being irrational.

That said, if my gf/wife was on here I would have no issue since it's seeking advice. If I found out my spouse was posting on a site like TAM I would ask her is what is going on in the relationship that needs work, etc. but have no issues. 

I'm one who believes in total transparency in a committed relationship. If I have to hide something then something would really be wrong. And converse of my partner, if she was hiding it I'd be concerned.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

breathedeep said:


> If they do, how do they feel about you posting about your private life?
> 
> If they do not know, how would they feel if they found out?
> 
> ...


no relevant , we are individuals. they better respect my right to discuss it ... or be prepared to discuss the matters until they're resolved - persnoally and with counsellors.

I don't stalk her facebook PM's - it's not like people on here are going to be having EA's (I hope - and I doubt this is the greatest of hookup boards! Sorry folks, too much damaged goods, and no bulls... room for playas)

Why would you partner be upset about you finding a good coping technique for emotional and relationship issues? Does she not want you to be happy?


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## Annie123 (Apr 27, 2015)

No, he doesn't. He'd be against it if he knew.


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## Average Joe (Sep 2, 2015)

Yeah, HELL NO.

I come here to pick your collective brain about how to deal with w problems, the same reason I go to my therapist every week. And he's protected by Hipaa laws for a reason ... because it's effing personal and meant for ME to interpret/implement. 

My therapist knows I get additional advice here, and he approves (hey dude!). That's all that matters.


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

OP , Nope, and it should stay that way.


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## lessthennone (Jun 19, 2014)

No. This is where I come to help repress my problems that others don't deem worthy and get confidence to do things that others suggest are necessary. 

At some point someone suggested inviting her on. Seems like a very bad idea to me. I have to walk on eggshells to keep her from thinking I'm criticizing her. If she saw my raw posts, she'd take it as harsh criticism.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

Yes. She's welcome and has been invited to read anything I post on here. Though she's never taken me up on it. Hasn't even asked what my user name is.


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