# Need ladies input...



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Ladies who have helped a husband thru some ED issues... how did you cope, how did you help your husband.... I posted in sex forum.... if you want to read it.... help me ladies.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

TMI warning. I apologize if this is too graphic"

Don't show him any frustration over it. - If you can help it.

If he starts to go soft during a bj... don't give up. THey can still feel very good to the guy, even if he's not hard.

Maybe suggest a ring? or cialis? It really depends on how long its been going on.. how much of a problem it is... if it is stress related, or medical related.

I notice with hubs... if he starts to go soft while I'm giving bj... If I kind of "pinch the sides" - at the very base of shaft (like cutting off the bloodflow back out of penis), then he'll start to get harder again. If I kind of make a ring with forefinger & thumb around the base & squeeze, then he can get pretty hard. He has resisted trying out a ****ring. 

I know cialis works for him... He got samples from his doc. But that doc has retired. He hasn't met the replacement doc yet.. but I doubt he'll open up to him & talk about it. It took a Very long time for him to admit anything to the old doc that he had been seeing since he was 17. 

Don't be upset if your husband completely rejects the medicine options at first. A lot of men, Its a big issue. They feel inferior if they have to start to rely on something (medicine) when they used to be able to handle it "all by themselves" before.

If you can, talk.. be open & honest as you can.. but do NOT complain about it at all. Just encourage him to maybe try this.. or that... That you heard from a girlfriend that such-n-such works for them. (Do NOT make it sound like you brought up the conversation or was talking about his ED problem to anyone.) For many men, they would blow up about that.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Thanks... he has no problem with oral, just vag.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

With your husbands was it very sudden? or was it a gradual thing?


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

There is a thread on SIM: "Sexless marriage...please fix it." Check it out.

Some additional ED info, though not all of the input is from ladies.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I have gotten input from the men on the sex forum specifically with the way I asked the question there, but thanks keeper. Also we are not in a sexless marriage... so ok so far.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

livelaughlovenow said:


> Thanks... he has no problem with oral, just vag.


my bf used to go soft all the time during intercourse. He said it was because he was focusing too much on pleasing me and wondering if it felt good to me,worried that he wasn't good enough for me,etc...

Then I made it worse by reacting badly to the issue a few times.I took it personal. Which made the whole thing worse.

Once I stopped reacting to it,stopped making a big deal about it,it got better.

Instead of getting hurt or upset, I'd just flirt with him and rub his back,and do other things I know he enjoys...just to make him know he's still loved.


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