# Rebound relationships - how long?



## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

How long do these relationships last? My stbxh started one about 6 months after we split. It's coming up on 2.5 years now. I know it's a terrible thing for me to feel but I'm just waiting for the day that it ends. 

I think I feel this way because I want to see him be alone, to really be alone and see what it feels like. He's the kind of person who always has to have someone around regardless of the quality of the relationship. 

This desire to see him be alone is a really ugly side of my personality. I wonder if there's a part of me (a very small part!) that thinks that if they break up, he'll want to be with me. 

Oh this roller coaster ride! You think you're off but you're just in the middle!


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## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

You can Google those statistics.

However, as long as your pour your energy into him, and the demise of his happiness (whether it's founded, or not), you'll never heal. 

What you should be focusing on is your own happiness, sans him.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I don't call myself a rebound relationship with my husband. We started dating under a year after his divorce. We've had the best last 15 years together and there is no plans of ending what we have.

My ex h married his affair partner and they are still together 20 years later. 

I really don't think time is relevant.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Mine is involved with the ow for 10 months after our split. I don't think she's going anywhere but do you know what, I really don't care anymore.

When it first happened I googled all the statistics. Now it doesn't matter. Let them have each other.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Let it go....you are just hurting yourself more by doing it. I know it is easier said than done as I am practicing it myself.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

HappyKaty said:


> You can Google those statistics.
> 
> However, as long as your pour your energy into him, and the demise of his happiness (whether it's founded, or not), you'll never heal.
> 
> What you should be focusing on is your own happiness, sans him.


You are so right! And I know it intellectually , I just need to internalize it. This is going to be my mantra for the next little while.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

gigi888 said:


> Let it go....you are just hurting yourself more by doing it. I know it is easier said than done as I am practicing it myself.


You're right. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. That's why I post here. When I know I'm on the wrong path, I get these kinds of great comments to set me straight. 

And it's so true that it's easier said than done. We can see it so clearly when someone else is in the situation. Thank goodness for TAM!


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Congrats I'mInLove. It's encouraging to hear that there is hope for a long, fulfilling relationship after divorce. There's been times since the end that I wondered if I could ever have another relationship, you've given me hope.


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## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

KNIFE IN THE HEART said:


> You are so right! And I know it intellectually , I just need to internalize it. This is going to be my mantra for the next little while.


I'm no stranger to the emotions. It's VERY hard. But, in order to successfully move forward, you have to leave him alone completely...no conversation, at all.


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