# I think my husband is masturbating to pictures of his coworker



## Claira Black (Jun 28, 2017)

I think my husband is masturbating to pictures of his coworker. I see that when he is alone he often looks at a few bikini pics of his coworker right before or right after he looks at porn. Yes I snooped. Please don't judge till you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. My 1st husband cheated on me and I am had no clue... now I am not very trusting. In all other ways our relationship is really good. We have lots of great sex. We do everything together. We are a super tight knit family. No one would believe we are anything but solid. He tells me he loves me constantly. He is always talking about our future and that he can't wait to retire together and he is always making plans for what we will do. He is 5 years older than me but is putting away extra money so I can retire early when he retires.

We did have problems in the past, he started an emotional affair about 5 years ago but nothing happened physically. When I found out I told him to put an end to it or I was done with him. I feel like he is always going to _stray_ in ways (am i not enough - i was his first long term girlfriend and we have been together 16 year, married 14) but I am not convinced he would actually do anything. maybe I am an idiot but we have kids and a good life. no marriage is perfect. He doesn't know that I know. I am just being sad and hurt in private moments. What do I do? He will freak out if he finds out I snooped and I am sure he would deny it anyway. He won't go to counselling. I tried to get him to go before but he said nothing happened and I was blowing it out of proportion and that we had a great marriage. I know people have private thoughts and that's ok but..... 

I do still love him and like I said the kids etc.... I just hate feeling like this. Like less than nothing.


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## Donny69 (Sep 12, 2020)

I’m probably the wrong guy to answer here but what the heck... why’s he masturbating when you’re around? Seems a little juvenile. It’s pretty disrespectful to view bikini photos of his coworker too. Obviously you should confront him and possibly kick him to the couch for couple days. I don’t see why you should be ashamed for snooping- he should be ashamed... it takes full consent of the will to search out porn and click on it- it ain’t accidental. I think it’s pretty wrong for a man to do this especially when he has a willing woman around that he loves. Personally, I don’t get it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It sounds like you don't want to confront. The next time he brings up work, just casually mention you wonder how his coworker will feel when she finds out he jerks off to her pics. Leave it there and get up and go do something. Don't argue and don't accept any guff about invading his privacy.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

this is a tough one. People have crushes at work all the time, and many times means nothing and never means cheating or anything beyond a crush. does it mean it is ok to jerk off to pictures of a co-worker....probably not, but it also DOES NOT mean he plans to do anything about it. I am sure every one of us has masturbated about someone they knew, ran into, saw at work, saw at the gym....whatever.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I'd want to know how he got pics of his co-worker in a bikini. Either she sent them to him (which sounds like trouble) or he stalked her and took them...or found them on FB (which is even more trouble!)


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's not acceptable. Listen, once I'm pissed off, I play dirty pool. Honestly, if it was me, I'd get the email address or text phone number for the HR department and send them from his phone those photos, mentioning that she is their employee and how inappropriate it is. If there's no HR, I'd send it to the owner, but he may be doing the same thing as your husband. Then I'd deny, deny, deny. It's just as fair as what he's doing and you know how mad he'd be if you were snooping. Then let him deal with it. If nothing else, it will sour her on him for good.

They'll either talk to her or him or both and wonder how he got the photos and then they can both explain that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I believe that porn is always damaging, and to be honest why is a picture of a work colleague any better or worse that him looking at all the the other women with nothing on?
I do have to wonder where he got the pictures, and of course its a bit differet in that he works with her, but they are all human beings who should be valued and respected not used for masturbating.
I wouldnt put up with this at all, the porn or the bikini pics of a woman at work, especially as he has already basically cheated with someone at work. He seems to have no boundaries at all.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

You shouldn't feel bad for snooping. I don't call that snooping, I call that normal marital relations. If I want to see my husband phone I just look at it. I don't very often because he has given me no reason to. But being on this site for a few years makes you wonder anyway. He can look at mine and I can look at his. we know each others passwords. 

I'd examine why would he be mad knowing you looked? What would he think is right to keep from his wife?
Next I'd have to figure out or ask him where he got the bikini pictures of the co worker from. Whether or not he is maturbating to them doesn't matter. I'd be livid if my husband kept picture of a scantily clad woman on his phone. ESPECIALLY one that he has real life access to. That is how affairs start. 

Lastly if your sex life is great and you are game why is he watching porn and masturbating? This I find odd. He might get mad but it is better he is mad for a few days than an affair or unrealistic fantasy start from this exercise.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's not acceptable. Listen, once I'm pissed off, I play dirty pool. Honestly, if it was me, I'd get the email address or text phone number for the HR department and send them from his phone those photos, mentioning that she is their employee and how inappropriate it is. If there's no HR, I'd send it to the owner, but he may be doing the same thing as your husband. Then I'd deny, deny, deny. It's just as fair as what he's doing and you know how mad he'd be if you were snooping. Then let him deal with it. If nothing else, it will sour her on him for good.
> 
> They'll either talk to her or him or both and wonder how he got the photos and then they can both explain that.


You'd do that to your own husband???


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

We asked _The Typist_ to answer this.

To answer, as honestly as possible, keeping prose to the minimum and to keep his throes in his shoes.

His answer:

_Men are sexually, visual beings. They like to actually see that which they find stimulating.
With their eyes on the prize, and their hands on the release valve, they pull furiously at the bikini.
_
He very likely has a fantasy surrounding this co-worker.
..............................................

Yes, crude, yes common place.


_Gwendolyn-_


Advice?
Go at this calmly.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

how about a different approach.
have him pull up the pictures of the coworker, and start masturbating him while he stares at them. See if he really cums from that.

if so, maybe a little role play to stimulate his mind even further. maybe buy the exact same bikini to wear, and strut around in it to make him horny...


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I see what you're trying to do there and if it wasn't someone he actually knows whose photos he shouldn't even had, I'd think it was fine, but that would be rewarding very bad behavior, which would only encourage it.


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