# Embarrassed and frustrated about my fetish



## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

I have a crazy fantasy of being impregnated by my husband. We aren't ready to have kids yet but I still get turned on thinking about it. We have a Taken in hand style relationship so I think the idea of my husband, as the strong man and leader that he is, impregnating me is hot. But.....he doesn't seem to be on the same page and equates this fantasy with the idea of actually having children (we want to wait another year before trying) which is totally not what my fantasy is about. This fantasy comes up for me everytime we have sex and I wish he could dirty talk about it or something! Help! What should I do? We are quite adventurous in bed so it's not him being afraid to open up sexually. I've talked to him about it but I don't think it registers how big of a fantasy it is for me....and he's tried dirty talking about it but is never spontaneous on his end and he says like one sentence and it's so obvious he's just saying it....I can tell he's not into it. I feel alone with this fantasy....sigh.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Most men don't get turned on by the thought of getting their wives pregnant unless they are ready to have an actual baby. They don't see it the same way women do. What I'm concerned about for you is that you're equating hot sex with baby making. Yes unprotected sex is hot (I have 3 kids I know) but so are lots of other things too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CFran said:


> I have a crazy fantasy of being impregnated by my husband. We aren't ready to have kids yet but I still get turned on thinking about it. We have a Taken in hand style relationship so I think the idea of my husband, as the strong man and leader that he is, impregnating me is hot. But.....he doesn't seem to be on the same page and equates this fantasy with the idea of actually having children (we want to wait another year before trying) which is totally not what my fantasy is about. This fantasy comes up for me everytime we have sex and I wish he could dirty talk about it or something! Help! What should I do? We are quite adventurous in bed so it's not him being afraid to open up sexually. I've talked to him about it but I don't think it registers how big of a fantasy it is for me....and he's tried dirty talking about it but is never spontaneous on his end and he says like one sentence and it's so obvious he's just saying it....I can tell he's not into it. I feel alone with this fantasy....sigh.


Just think of morning sickness for 6 months, swollen feet ... that should cure the fantasy {sorry just had to}.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

We don't have unprotected sex....I am not ready to actually be pregnant. I don't get what you mean by equating hot sex with baby making....I've had plenty of hot sex with my husband before this fantasy came up.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It's simple. You've got baby fever and yes it's hot to think of getting pregnant with your man's baby.

I'm with EleGirl this fantasy is way better than reality. LOL


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Just think of morning sickness for 6 months, swollen feet ... that should cure the fantasy {sorry just had to}.


Its a fantasy....so it's not something I can logically work through in my mind. Nor do I want to.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> It's simple. You've got baby fever and yes it's hot to think of getting pregnant with your man's baby.
> 
> I'm with EleGirl this fantasy is way better than reality. LOL


So how can I get him to catch it? Lol....but really, I just want him to indulge me in this fantasy (as in dirty talk etc, not the real deal of baby making).


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

CFran said:


> Its a fantasy....so it's not something I can logically work through in my mind. Nor do I want to.


So why are you here? Oh you want us to tell you how to get your husband to do this for you? Right?

I don't think he can because it would be scripted as you saw. Men just don't think like this. They get off on freaky things not impregnating someone.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

So replace the fantasy I described with any other fantasy. I'm sure not every couple shares the same fantasies, so how do you get your needs met when your partner doesn't share the same fantasy. Maybe that's where things go wrong with us....he thinks it's about baby making when it's really not.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Harsh


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm sorry I'm not trying to be harsh. Your husband thinks it IS about baby making and I can't think of one way to explain that it's not. I know this feeling but I never tried to get my husband to participate I just held this type fantasy in my head. I never expected him to play along. We've been married 21 years and I have all kinds of fantasies in my head that he has no idea about.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

No worries. My husband works offshore for a month and home for a month so we talk about our fantasies all the time when he is away. Early on we agreed to take part in whatever the other wanted or desired.....and this is only bc we trust each other to never do anything that would hurt or marriage or each other.


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

I definitely wouldn't be embarrassed or frustrated by your fantasy. In his eBook, Daniel Rose talks about "Impregnation" as a common female fantasy. The fantasy has an evolutionary basis - taking the mans seed is necessary because without it, life would not exist. 

When you say "it doesn't register" for him, to me that says you haven't communicated to him exactly how MUCH of a turn-on it is for you. If you let him know that and he's still uncomfortable playing along, I would respect his decision..


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

This breeding fetish is interesting, rarely do me and the misses play this out, but when we do we both take turns playing with the semin she will push it back out and I will play with it and push it back in.IDK its wierd

Mrs. the_guy can't have any more kids but she will shout out "breed me" and it gets pretty rough on my end. Its wierd but our baby making days are over we still play around with the idea that I'm breeding her. Again I'm wired different the most, but I get what your saying. 

I can't remember the last time we did this so I think its time.....I love this site!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I don't have that kind of marriage...yet. 

We don't discuss fantasies so I keep most of them inside. I'm just now starting to bring some of them up. So I've gotten good at using my imagination. I'd imagine my birth control failed, or some other crazy thought to pretend I 'could' get pregnant. It did work and he had no idea.

Of course now that hubby is snipped I'm GRATEFUL I can't get pregnant. This fantasy has officially DIED. LOL


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I don't have that kind of marriage...yet.
> 
> We don't discuss fantasies so I keep most of them inside. I'm just now starting to bring some of them up. So I've gotten good at using my imagination. I'd imagine my birth control failed, or some other crazy thought to pretend I 'could' get pregnant. It did work and he had no idea.
> 
> Of course now that hubby is snipped I'm GRATEFUL I can't get pregnant. This fantasy has officially DIED. LOL


Haha! so that was a fantasy of yours?


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

the guy said:


> This breeding fetish is interesting, rarely do me and the misses play this out, but when we do we both take turns playing with the semin she will push it back out and I will play with it and push it back in.IDK its wierd
> 
> Mrs. the_guy can't have any more kids but she will shout out "breed me" and it gets pretty rough on my end. Its wierd but our baby making days are over we still play around with the idea that I'm breeding her. Again I'm wired different the most, but I get what your saying.
> 
> I can't remember the last time we did this so I think its time.....I love this site!


Breeding....hmmm. To me that word is more about balance...I like the idea of him doing it TO me. Its about Me being his...and I'm there for him.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

DDC said:


> I definitely wouldn't be embarrassed or frustrated by your fantasy. In his eBook, Daniel Rose talks about "Impregnation" as a common female fantasy. The fantasy has an evolutionary basis - taking the mans seed is necessary because without it, life would not exist.
> 
> When you say "it doesn't register" for him, to me that says you haven't communicated to him exactly how MUCH of a turn-on it is for you. If you let him know that and he's still uncomfortable playing along, I would respect his decision..


Tell me more about this book. Any other books like this? I am a psychologist so I have read heaps of literature on marriage sex love yada yada but this topic is hard to find much info on. I get the biology factor but I am interested in more info. No one seems to talk about this lol


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## DDC (Jul 16, 2012)

CFran said:


> Tell me more about this book. Any other books like this? I am a psychologist so I have read heaps of literature on marriage sex love yada yada but this topic is hard to find much info on. I get the biology factor but I am interested in more info. No one seems to talk about this lol


I will PM you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CFran said:


> Its a fantasy....so it's not something I can logically work through in my mind. Nor do I want to.


I understand that.... I was trying to interject some humor. Those of use who have exprienced these things can appreciate the mind images they would bring up... :lol:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I don't have that kind of marriage...yet.
> 
> We don't discuss fantasies so I keep most of them inside. I'm just now starting to bring some of them up. So I've gotten good at using my imagination. I'd imagine my birth control failed, or some other crazy thought to pretend I 'could' get pregnant. It did work and he had no idea.
> 
> Of course now that hubby is snipped I'm GRATEFUL I can't get pregnant. This fantasy has officially DIED. LOL


My two pregnancies completely killed any such fantasies. I learned that adoption has it's benefits... someone else does the heavy lifting.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

CFran said:


> Haha! so that was a fantasy of yours?


Of course.


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> I have a crazy fantasy of being impregnated by my husband. We aren't ready to have kids yet but I still get turned on thinking about it. We have a Taken in hand style relationship so I think the idea of my husband, as the strong man and leader that he is, impregnating me is hot. But.....he doesn't seem to be on the same page and equates this fantasy with the idea of actually having children (we want to wait another year before trying) which is totally not what my fantasy is about. This fantasy comes up for me everytime we have sex and I wish he could dirty talk about it or something! Help! What should I do? We are quite adventurous in bed so it's not him being afraid to open up sexually. I've talked to him about it but I don't think it registers how big of a fantasy it is for me....and he's tried dirty talking about it but is never spontaneous on his end and he says like one sentence and it's so obvious he's just saying it....I can tell he's not into it. I feel alone with this fantasy....sigh.


 First, STOP BEING EMBARRASSED. Your fantasy is normal. You are supposedto be excited about being pregnant.That is normal.Second, don't worry about your husband not being into it. Close your eyes and enjoy your own fantasy, enjoy sex and love your husband, and love your fantasy. -- Enjoy Sex! -- Roger G. Boschman, Therapist.


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## Battle_Cats (Jun 28, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> So why are you here? Oh you want us to tell you how to get your husband to do this for you? Right?
> 
> I don't think he can because it would be scripted as you saw. Men just don't think like this. They get off on freaky things not impregnating someone.



I disagree. Men don't get off on getting women pregnant, but some certainly get off on the idea of impregnating a woman.

The problem for missymrs80 is splitting out the hot ideas of impregnation and the seriousness of having kids. In the average guy's head, one skirts dangerously close to the other.

From wikipedia:

"Impregnation:

Impregnation fantasies are characterized by the arousal or gratification from the possibility, consequences or risk of impregnation through unprotected vaginal sex. Impregnation fantasies are often indulged by reading erotic literature, and role playing with a partner."

I'd begin by looking into impregnation fantasy and see what advice there is. Perhaps you can see if he harbors a little fetish or erotic thoughts about breast lactation and work from there.


It can indeed be hot you just gotta get that idea across. He's probably just focused into serious mode with your upcoming plans.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Battle cats, 

The problem for missymrs80 is splitting out the hot ideas of impregnation and the seriousness of having kids. In the average guy's head, one skirts dangerously close to the other.

Yes! I think I will say that verbatim to him. Lol...


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

It's a cool fantasy. Personally i like it a lot, even if it's not for real. Major turn on for me.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

costa200 said:


> It's a cool fantasy. Personally i like it a lot, even if it's not for real. Major turn on for me.


Has this been disc in your relationship? Tell me more!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Most men don't get turned on by the thought of getting their wives pregnant unless they are ready to have an actual baby. They don't see it the same way women do. What I'm concerned about for you is that you're equating hot sex with baby making. Yes unprotected sex is hot (I have 3 kids I know) but so are lots of other things too.


I disagree. While making a kid can be scary, it can be quite exciting if during the passion she wraps her legs around you and begs to be filled by you, to make her a woman.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

missymrs80 said:


> I don't get what you mean by equating hot sex with baby making....I've had plenty of hot sex with my husband before this fantasy came up.


It is freaking unbelievable sex. It was for both wifey and I. Although telling you that probably doesn't help your fantasy, does it?


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Larry, Explain more please...


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

What is nbelievable sex...baby making or the idea of it


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

All three times we had kids it was planned out. When my wife neared ovulation she became insanely sexual. She didn't seem interested in her own orgasm, but having me ejaculate in her. She still did orgasm, but wrapping around me and holding me in when I went off is what she really got into. She was back for more again and again - she'd give me a BJ to get me hard and then want me to finish inside her. Normally she was never big into BJs, and certainly resisted if I had been inside her without washing.. At this time she didn't care, she just wanted me hard again. 

I would call myself CD... crazy drive because HD doesn't do me justice. She outdid me BIG time.

After the first kid, I figured out how this was going to go so I planned a trip with just the two of us to a coastal hotel for making the other two kids. For #2 she was even more over the top. Being on vacation pushed it up even more.

#3 was good, but not quite as much. Wifey's drive had started tanking at the time. At the time I didn't know how bad it was going to get.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

missymrs80 said:


> What is nbelievable sex...baby making or the idea of it


Her doing every trick she could think of to get me hard again and jumping me OVER and OVER again. For a guy with high drive, what's not to like?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

missymrs80 said:


> So replace the fantasy I described with any other fantasy. I'm sure not every couple shares the same fantasies, so how do you get your needs met when your partner doesn't share the same fantasy. Maybe that's where things go wrong with us....he thinks it's about baby making when it's really not.


I've been here and will remain, my husband hardly talks dirty in bed.... It's funny, cause he likes when I DO it... but it just doesn't come natural to him at all. I've had to lay that down. 

I just asked my husband this question before he left for work... if he ever "got off" on the idea of "impregnating me". He said "No"... 

But yet...for the 1st 10 yrs of our marriage...the idea of "conceiving" was "inviting" to both of us -both on the same page, trying to build a family, I didn't want to be an older Mother, so we started right away....

...He told me early on ..."So long as you take care of them, you can have as many as you want". 

My husbands opionion on this is...."when guys have sex, they don't want to get her pregnant"... this is not what they are thinking about, that could even scare them. Even for him -every time ......his thoughts were still of pleasure, this is Hot... (even though we were trying)..... whatever will be ...will be! No fantasies of impregnating me. I can't even say I had those -really. 

I was so one tract minded, it was just "give me the sperm" then I will be . If you have trouble conceiving, you may find your fantasies turn in this direction -unfortunately.


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## HighSexDrive31 (Aug 11, 2012)

Come to some kind of compromise if you really cant let go of the fantasy. 
My husband is into a lot of things I am not, but we come up with some kind of deal to make it work or not work.


Btw you mention ur husband being away...do you think u desire a baby to fill the void thats missing while hes gone? Maybe ur fetish is some psychological thing? Not judging, just curious...
Call me a crazy *****, but if my husband was away all the time, id want someone/something to keep me company and having a baby is better than being a cheater! ahahaha

Or u could just go on BC, and act out ur fantasy, then you have 99% less chance of getting preggers?
I am guessing you want him to talk dirty as in like *I want you to carry my seed* or something like this?
Bring up some fantasy he has brought to you that u were iffy about and discuss?


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

HighSexDrive31 said:


> Come to some kind of compromise if you really cant let go of the fantasy.
> My husband is into a lot of things I am not, but we come up with some kind of deal to make it work or not work.
> 
> 
> ...


The offshore thing....ya that has come up for me before, more like when we first got married. People always say they aren't ready....but I knew I wasn't going to let myself be ready until I came to a place where I wasn't trying to fill a void or meet my emotional needs through having a baby. I am there now but we are still waiting another year or so for various reasons. This fantasy came about more recently...I am in my late 20's so maybe that has something to do with it. I mean I'm sure it does. Biological instincts. But it not about actually having a baby....it's the idea of it. My husband really does drive me crazy (in a good way...everything about him is sexy to me) - I want him all the time and I still get butterflies in my stomach. He's just a real man....he's powerful strong in control...and sensitive lol. So the fantasy is more about me wanting to give every part of myself to him....and him taking me.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

That's it? Oh come on, your fetish is much better then wifey's

She fantasises about thrusting a strap-on up my ass! Which is MUCH worse!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I really wouldn't refer to it as "fantasy!" It just seems to be an inate sign of the love and the devotion that you have for him. On the emotional barometer, I'd guess that you are a little ahead of him in that aspect of maturity. 

Give him time! He loves you, and he will certainly come around! I wish you both well in your marriage/family journey together!


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

missymrs80 said:


> I have a crazy fantasy of being impregnated by my husband.....
> 
> ....I can tell he's not into it. I feel alone with this fantasy....sigh.


I can offer a male perspective here that might be relevant.

My wife and I had trouble conceiving our first child and we both wanted children very, very badly. The impregnation fantasy became a real turn-on for her and we went at it like rabbits. 

Then she conceived. 

Although we were both very happy, the fantasy was now gone and some of the previous enthusiasm was gone too. 

When our daughter arrived, she went off into an emotional la-la-land where I didn't exist. We did not make love even once for the better part of two years. And even afterwards, things were not the same. --Not for a long, long time. 

I know this doesn't happen to every woman, but it happens enough and the biological explanation for it is real enough that it might be an intuitive fear for some men. 

I know I had doubts prior to the first child about what might happen when the fantasy was realized. But I wanted children as badly as she did and just didn't dwell on it at the time.


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## ldgirl07 (Sep 1, 2013)

I'm sorry but I read through all of these replies and I can honestly say this is the worst advice I've ever seen given about this subject. I actually registered just to reply to this. 

I'm not saying anything negative about marriage but I think your first mistake was asking this question on a website like this one. So many sexist, vanilla replies that I can't imagine you would have received had you actually been on a site that's about sex. 

First of all the replies from Mavash-all terrible, sexist not to mention false! If you really research this fetish (and yes it is a fetish) you will find that most people with this fetish seem to be male and people have even given very good psychological and biological explanations for why this fetish would be male dominated. Therefore sorry but Mavash and Simply Amorous' hubby are wrong! I've even heard guys with this fetish describing it as the most normal fetish a guy can have and even should have and that's what men are biologically programmed to do etc. I'm not saying I agree a guy should have this fetish (I do think it should be the most natural fetish for a man but I don't think it's wrong if a guy doesn't have the fetish) but there are definitely reasons for a guy to have it. 

Oh and someone made a comment along the lines of "guys think about hot freaky stuff during sex not getting someone pregnant". Oh dear god-not sure why it hasn't occurred to this person but if a guy has this fetish then it IS hot and freaky to him! There is even a forum where girls who work in the phone sex industry are talking about the fact that they get the impregnation fantasy requested so often.

Second just like any fetish there are parts to it and different reasons why different people have it. It's not that your "baby crazy" like Mavash suggested (shaking my head at her). Many people with this fetish don't actually want to conceive at that time or ever. Personally my interest has to do with domination and male virility. It has nothing to do with "lurve" or actually wanting a baby right now. Though I'm sure it is hot and loving when a couple actually wants to have a baby-the fetish doesn't have to have anything to do with that. 

I'm very surprised that you are in a taken in hand relationship and your husband doesn't want engage in this fantasy because I think the best explanation IMO for why people would have this fetish is on the taken in hand website. So hot it ALMOST made me want to have this kind of relationship. Maybe have him read it if he hasn't already. It sucks when you're with a person and they don't share your fetish. I have yet to find a guy in my life that has it while I have to hear girls around me complain that their guys have this kind of fetish. 

Anyway I suppose you guys are really trying now-it's been a year since you started this post. Hope it's going well. My suggestion to you if you have any sexual questions in the future is to go on a different website!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Zombie thread.

Even I would give different advice today than I did a year ago. Lol

I officially take back what I said.


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