# how do you reassure your husband from afar?



## beadedsmile (Dec 26, 2012)

Hi all,

I'm a new face to this forum but hope to get your input on a not-so-simple problem.

My husband (27) and I (24) were working in Korea (he had a position and I followed to be with him). We were more than happy together and enjoyed each moment of it. However, three months into my new job, my mother (who lives in the States) informed me she had cancer. Not any type of cancer, but stage 4 (terminal) cancer. 

Given this information, I booked a flight back home to tend to my mother. My husband, however, would have to stay in Korea to continue working for that paycheck. 

I have given up my work to see my mother through this unfortunate time, but I also think I am also sacrificing my relationship with my husband. He has had his reservations about me leaving him but he supported my decision to go in the end. He understands this is something I (as a daughter) must do, but he also feels abandoned in a country where he too is a foreigner. 

I understand his reasons for wanting me to come back soon, and he understands my reasons for wanting to come back later. But... we can't seem to agree on how to handle our present circumstances. 

Now given that prelude, I would like to ask the reader the following: (1) How can I make my husband feel less abandoned? (2) How can I be happier? I know I'm doing what I need to be doing, but I do feel guilty for leaving him there. (3) Any additional suggestions is most appreciated.

Thank you for reading!
-beadedsmile


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

this is a tough one. I guess you don't really know exactly what terminal means. Is it weeks or months? Maybe it doesn't really matter. You don't want to regret that you weren't there for your mom. The only thing I can think of is constant contact with calls, tweets, emails, and skype with video or tanga, which does the same thing.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Get a caregiver for your mom for a spell, and then go see your husband for a week. If your mom does not need round-the-clock care, she should be happy to see you take some time for your marriage. If she is that sick, you need some time for yourself so that you don't burn out.


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