# Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?



## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Come over for one of my visits to my GF's. She has back trouble, so she moves around, lies on the floor, etc. No big deal. Then she says she wants to lie down in her bed as it's comfy. Again, no big deal. Asks me to join her, bring a movie for the new Blu Ray player she got for Xmas. I grab one, but the player doesn't work. "OKay," she said. "You can leave now, I need alone time." I grab my stuff to go (planned on overnight), but she says I can stay. She falls asleep. I went back to my place about an hour ago. I got three texts asking where I went.

She recently got on new medication, but I chalk this up to disrespect. You ask me over and then do this? I'm not planning on coming back now, unless I did something egregious. Because as I see it, she did. She has 4 nights a week to be alone. I'd be okay with this if we lived together, but we don't. Has anyone ever done this?


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Sounds weird. How often do you two have sex? She sounds interesting.

I spend the night 3-4 nights a week with my G/F and we have sex at least once daily, usually every night and each morning. There are kids, otherwise would do it more.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

We do it about 2-3 times a month. I think twice a week is reasonable. She also came up to get a drink and didn't say goodnight to me, which she hasn't done before.


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Not enough info yet. Back pain can be extremely debilitating. Or she claimed having back pain so you would not expect sex. What meds. is she on?
Maybe she is done with you?
Maybe you are the pain to her!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Is this the same woman that I and a number of others encouraged you to dump last year?

If she is... well none of this should surprise you. If she isn't... perhaps you're dating the wrong women.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> Not enough info yet. Back pain can be extremely debilitating. Or she claimed having back pain so you would not expect sex. What meds. is she on?
> Maybe she is done with you?
> Maybe you are the pain to her!


What info can I give you? Only one I know is Risperdol. No, she has back pain. I'm to the point where I don't expect sex anymore, which is awful. I'm starting to get that vibe.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

What is the benefit of this relationship for you again?


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Oh, yes. Dump the load and move on. Since when are guys having trouble getting sex from girlfriends even considering staying?
You think it'll get better? Lol, no


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Jayg14 said:


> What info can I give you? Only one I know is Risperdol. No, she has back pain. I'm to the point where I don't expect sex anymore, which is awful. I'm starting to get that vibe.


Risperadal is a powerful medication originally prescribed to treat Schizophrenia. Now it is given for the short term treatment of mania and depression.

Schizophrenia is a mental illness that can cause people to lose interest in life and develop abnormal thoughts and emotions. The side effects can be severe. Lowered sex drive lethargy and sleepiness are common. Her back problems could be coming from her kidneys not functioning, drug relatd. That is a small possibility. Her balance is likely affected. She may have fallen when in a stupor. This drug really messes you up.

She is not being mean to you, she is really unwell. Cut her some slack.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> Oh, yes. Dump the load and move on. Since when are guys having trouble getting sex from girlfriends even considering staying?
> You think it'll get better? Lol, no


Marry them so you can get more sex.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm trying to figure out which is worse, a schizo or no sex drive.
I say move on with either scenario.
Just me.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Jayg14 said:


> Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.


Why would it bother you what your friends think.You are responsible for your own happiness nobody else.To me this was blatant disrespect and I would have left too.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* @Jayg14 ~ I heartily applaud you for leaving ~ greatly sounds like you're being strung along by her and her "backbreaking story" for just a little bit of occasional non-sexual companionship!*


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

What's the plus side to this relationship? I don't think she is intentionally disrespecting you, I think she has personal issues she is dealing with and you are just background noise. I wouldn't let her issues become your issues, it's time to move along and find woman better suited for you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

When a non-marital relationship becomes work it is time to look for a new partner. If she is this way while the two of you are just dating, what do you think she would be like as a wife?


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Appreciate the responses, everyone. I have some thinking to do.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Just tell her your medical condition prohibits you from seeing her anymore. 

Your Balls grew back.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Jayg14 said:


> Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.


Sounds like a cop out to me.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Celes said:


> Sounds like a cop out to me.


Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Jayg14 said:


> Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.


I am going to give you some 15 years of advice that you need to eat, digest and then consume again. It seems obvious, but given my experience, it is as crucial of a concept that exists in the world.

It is a lot better to have ended something that you didn't feel right about and take the shame up front, then to marry it, find out you were right, wasted years and years, and take the shame then.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Herschel said:


> I am going to give you some 15 years of advice that you need to eat, digest and then consume again. It seems obvious, but given my experience, it is as crucial of a concept that exists in the world.
> 
> It is a lot better to have ended something that you didn't feel right about and take the shame up front, then to marry it, find out you were right, wasted years and years, and take the shame then.


Thank you for responding, and you are no doubt correct. There won't be marriage here. Not sure I'll get married again. Just a long time partner.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Jayg14 said:


> Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.


 If you are so insecure about being "pasted" on social media sites that you are willing to wallow in misery I'm not sure what to say. There would be no reason for you to advertise the reasons you broke up with her, have the confidence to say "it just wasn't a good relationship". F**k what people think.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

If I were you, I wouldn't just walk, I would run!



Jayg14 said:


> What info can I give you? Only one I know is Risperdol. No, she has back pain. *I'm to the point where I don't expect sex anymore, which is awful.* I'm starting to get that vibe.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

@Jayg14 Are you getting anything out of this relationship that is worth sticking around for? I'm guessing there isn't, because otherwise, why would you be posting about this right now? I mean, when she has one weekend where she's "off" isn't really enough to break off what is otherwise a really great relationship. And you don't see this ever moving towards marriage. It doesn't sound like you're happy with this woman. So it might be time to break up with her.

(And, FWIW, I think she was weird... she wants alone time, but expects you to just chill out until she decides she's ready to hang? I think it was completely reasonable for you to leave. She said she wanted to be alone. You have better things to do than sit around and wait for her. I spend every weekend at my partner's place--as soon as I get home from work, I pack a bag, go to his place, and I'm there until about 10 pm on Sunday night. But sometimes, he has to do work stuff on the weekend, and when that happens, I'm welcome to chill at his place--which I sometimes do, I just chill and read a book--but most of the time, I head back to my place and take care of chores, run errands, or just do whatever needs to be done. Or if he needs a nap, which he sometimes does--lack of sleep makes him cranky--I usually leave for a little bit, unless I want a nap, too. And he texts me when he's done with his work or his nap, and I'll finish up what I'm doing and come back. He doesn't expect me to sit around and wait for him. That's weird that she was like, "where did you go?" It could have been medication or something, but I don't know.)

Don't worry what other people think. If mutual friends are going to slag you off, then they aren't really your friends. And it's not their business, anyway. I agree with @Cooper, you just say that the relationship wasn't working or it wasn't good. Don't say anything about her, just that it didn't work. You can have two great people, but they just aren't compatible and the relationship doesn't work.

And that thing about you having been wrong about breaking up before? Just because you think you were wrong in breaking up with other people before doesn't mean that you're wrong in breaking up now. And if you regret those breakups NOW, it doesn't mean that you were wrong ending those relationships before. If you ended something that was good, you likely weren't ready for it, and if you weren't ready for it, you would have screwed it up later anyway if you didn't end it when you did. Does that make sense? What I'm saying is don't let your past define your present and your future. Everyone makes mistakes and wrong decisions. Don't let it define you.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Cooper said:


> If you are so insecure about being "pasted" on social media sites that you are willing to wallow in misery I'm not sure what to say. There would be no reason for you to advertise the reasons you broke up with her, have the confidence to say "it just wasn't a good relationship". F**k what people think.


Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. *I* won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

FeministInPink said:


> @Jayg14 What I'm saying is don't let your past define your present and your future. Everyone makes mistakes and wrong decisions. Don't let it define you.


Thank you for posting. This is my biggest issue.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Jayg14 said:


> Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. *I* won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.


This, right here, is a reason in and of itself to run. Seriously. How old are you guys? I cringe at the thought of a former longtime partner blasting me on social media. So immature and frankly, i wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who would stoop to that level.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Jayg14 said:


> Thank you for posting. This is my biggest issue.


It's hard sometimes, right? I fight it a lot, myself. But if we can learn from our past, and make better choices, then we are defined not by our past but what we choose to do now and in the future. You can't change the past, but you don't have to repeat it. You can make your present and your future different/better, if you try hard enough. Easier said than done, sometimes, but it's possible.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> Jayg14 said:
> 
> 
> > Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. *I* won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.
> ...


I agree. This is fvcked up.
@Jayg14 The people who really love you and know you will see right through her BS. They'll know it for lies and recognize her for the psycho drama queen that she is. The people that will believe her don't matter, and you don't need them.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

lucy999 said:


> This, right here, is a reason in and of itself to run. Seriously. How old are you guys? I cringe at the thought of a former longtime partner blasting me on social media. So immature and frankly, i wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who would stoop to that level.


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Jayg14 said:


> Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.



This is very odd. 

You need to explore why you'd stay with a woman just because you're worried what friends might say or think about your decision.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with her or your relationship and everything to do with you.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Jayg14 said:


> Come over for one of my visits to my GF's. She has back trouble, so she moves around, lies on the floor, etc. No big deal. Then she says she wants to lie down in her bed as it's comfy. Again, no big deal. Asks me to join her, bring a movie for the new Blu Ray player she got for Xmas. I grab one, but the player doesn't work. "OKay," she said. "You can leave now, I need alone time." I grab my stuff to go (planned on overnight), but she says I can stay. She falls asleep. I went back to my place about an hour ago. I got three texts asking where I went.
> 
> She recently got on new medication, but I chalk this up to disrespect. You ask me over and then do this? I'm not planning on coming back now, unless I did something egregious. Because as I see it, she did. She has 4 nights a week to be alone. I'd be okay with this if we lived together, but we don't. Has anyone ever done this?


Back pain can be one of the most debilitating pains in life. She is on pain meds I assume. Those in themselves are usually a depressant and often make some sick. You may want to be more compassionate with the back issue. Is your GF getting any surgery for her issue?


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Yeswecan said:


> Back pain can be one of the most debilitating pains in life. She is on pain meds I assume. Those in themselves are usually a depressant and often make some sick. You may want to be more compassionate with the back issue. Is your GF getting any surgery for her issue?


She can't and there is a reason why, but I forget.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Jayg14 said:


> Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


Women of good character don't do that.

When my XH and I split, he was telling all kinds of venomous lies to anyone who would listen.

The only people who know what REALLY happened in my marriage are the people on TAM who helped me through it, our MC, my boss, my best friend, and my current partner. My partner knows because I have certain triggers and sensitivities, things that came up early in our relationship but which are much better now, and the others because they were my support system. It's no one else's business. If I talk smack about him, it serves no purpose except to make me look bad.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Jayg14 said:


> She can't and there is a reason why, but I forget.


Well, I tell ya, back pain that requires pain meds and no recourse to getting repaired is a tough row to hoe.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

Jayg14 said:


> Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.


Hmm, I'm not buying it. 

Are you sure you just aren't more attached to her than you'd like to admit?


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Celes said:


> Hmm, I'm not buying it.
> 
> Are you sure you just aren't more attached to her than you'd like to admit?


A little bit, sure.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Woah! Remember how powerful you felt when you decided that your bed was more comfortable than her couch? Just keep thinking about that moment of Clarity.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Jayg14 said:


> *Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends *if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.


So what?

Fvck 'em... 

It's not their life...it's yours.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> So what?
> 
> Fvck 'em...
> 
> It's not their life...it's yours.


I agree with you 100%. Gotta be careful today, though. Dirty laundry aired on social media gets people fired.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Jayg14 said:


> I agree with you 100%. Gotta be careful today, though. Dirty laundry aired on social media gets people fired.


Then stay off social media. You can live without Facebook. I did it for 40 years.


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

Look, I'm not trying to over simplify things here but honestly, if you are making your life decisions based on how you will be perceived on social media than you have greater issues to deal with.

If you have a boss that would fire you for breaking up with your girlfriend than it sounds like your job isn't to stable anyway.

If your girlfriend is going to roast you on social media for anything than I would say she's to immature to be in any kind of committed relationship and your life will simplify greatly with out her in it.

And finally, If all of these are just excuses to stay with her , why not just be honest with yourself and admit to yourself that you can be understanding of a persons mistakes and move on from it rather than fishing for reasons why you are in a horrible situation that there is no escape from.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Jayg14 said:


> Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.


Based on this statement, you apparently have no concept of what dating is... Let me clue you in. 

It's an on going job interview to see if you want to hire them as "wife". FYI, it's a fulltime position.

If someone has bombed the interview, you throw their resume in the shredder and keep looking.

Who gives a flying fvck what your "friends/acquaintances" think?!? They aren't being deprived of sex, you are.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

bankshot1993 said:


> Look, I'm not trying to over simplify things here but honestly, if you are making your life decisions based on how you will be perceived on social media than you have greater issues to deal with.
> 
> If you have a boss that would fire you for breaking up with your girlfriend than it sounds like your job isn't to stable anyway.


As far as your first sentence, that is not why I am hesitant. Trying to make sure I am not blowing things out of proportion. If you saw my other threads, I apparently did that. 

I see you're in Alberta, so you may not be too familiar, but I see in the news a lot that American men are fired for things that get put on social media - not by them, but by others. Some have been employed for years at their jobs.

In any event, I've told her we need to talk next week (have the kid this weekend).


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> It's an on going job interview to see if you want to hire them as "wife". FYI, it's a fulltime position.


Doubt I'll get married again. Would love a long-term FWB, but apparently I am not "Alpha" enough for that. As of now I have to date until I get to the point where long-term FWB is an option for me.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Jayg14 said:


> Would love a long-term FWB, but apparently I am not "Alpha" enough for that.


Well with an attitude like that, no wonder you are with a bed ridden woman who doesn't put out.

Maybe you should lay off the dating for a while and work on your self confidence. Right now it's nonexistent.


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Jayg14 said:


> Doubt I'll get married again. Would love a long-term FWB, but apparently I am not "Alpha" enough for that. As of now I have to date until I get to the point where long-term FWB is an option for me.


This is conflict avoidance played at full volume. Love them when you are ready and you have the time. Go back to your world when you are feted. It will only work when you find a women that wants the same relationship. Good luck finding one. This is self indulgent and selfish behavior, though not uncommon. Being Alpha and "getting your way" may work work for them, but not for a loving women. Not for a women who wants more than sex and occasional companionship. When and if you find such a women you will be disappointed. You will likely have to share her with others. And she will likely tire of you, before you tire of her. She will move on to the next interesting man.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Things in the job market in Alberta aren't great either, but it's not just for men, it's for EVERYONE. If you have a job in Alberta, you can count your lucky stars!

As for the back issues, suggest that she go see an osteopath. I also have back issues, and recently had 3 appts with an osteopath, and am fixed, wham-bam! 



Jayg14 said:


> As far as your first sentence, that is not why I am hesitant. Trying to make sure I am not blowing things out of proportion. If you saw my other threads, I apparently did that.
> 
> I see you're in Alberta, so you may not be too familiar, but I see in the news a lot that American men are fired for things that get put on social media - not by them, but by others. Some have been employed for years at their jobs.
> 
> In any event, I've told her we need to talk next week (have the kid this weekend).


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Jayg14 said:


> Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.


This reminds me that the last time a woman called me an ass I simply said, "yup, I can be one. What's your point?" and continued about my business. We all can be an ass at times and I don't hide from it. Oops, no one's perfect! 0

You need to be OK with the person that you are, not focused on how you feel others might perceive you. If the lack of sex is a good enough reason for YOU to want to break up with her, then choose YOUR path regardless of what anyone else thinks. Remember she could easily remedy the lack of sex if it was important to her. You could also turn this around with your mutual friends/acquaintances and tell them that she lost a great guy because she was frigid. Try joking that you'd only settle for an infrequent/crappy sex life if she was a better cook or bought you NFL season tickets, since everyone has a price.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> Maybe you should lay off the dating for a while and work on your self confidence. Right now it's nonexistent.


I'm asking to learn, not to be an a$$: what makes you think I lack confidence? I have no problem meeting women, getting dates. I just can't get the relationship I want. I try to get the , and the women have all walked away so far. If I had more alpha traits, I'd have the relationship I desire.


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Bananapeel said:


> This reminds me that the last time a woman called me an ass I simply said, "yup, I can be one. What's your point?" and continued about my business. We all can be an ass at times and I don't hide from it. Oops, no one's perfect! 0
> 
> You need to be OK with the person that you are, not focused on how you feel others might perceive you. If the lack of sex is a good enough reason for YOU to want to break up with her, then choose YOUR path regardless of what anyone else thinks. Remember she could easily remedy the lack of sex if it was important to her. You could also turn this around with your mutual friends/acquaintances and tell them that *she lost a great guy because she was frigid.* Try joking that you'd only settle for an infrequent/crappy sex life if she was a better cook or bought you NFL season tickets, since everyone has a price.


Sorry, this is nonsense talk. She is very ill. She has real problems. Problems that drugs, doctors, psychologists and shallow men cannot solve. Read the whole post before you throw stones.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> T This is self indulgent and selfish behavior, though not uncommon.


I tried the selfless and compromising route when I was married. My wife had an EA, and divorced me. I don't think it's unfair to live for me now.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

Bananapeel said:


> This reminds me that the last time a woman called me an ass I simply said, "yup, I can be one. What's your point?" and continued about my business. We all can be an ass at times and I don't hide from it. Oops, no one's perfect! 0
> 
> You need to be OK with the person that you are, not focused on how you feel others might perceive you.


I guess I haven't been very clear about this point. I don't care what others think of me. That's not why I worry about my stuff being made public.


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Jayg14 said:


> I tried the selfless and compromising route when I was married. My wife had an EA, and divorced me. I don't think it's unfair to live for me now.


Live for you is good. But do not let a few bad orange peels cause you to hate the warm Vitamin "C" that a good women can offer to a good man. Self-less? No way. 
Compromising? Always. Get over "you", Sir!


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> Get over "you", Sir!


Can expound on this? Not sure what you mean by it?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Jayg14 said:


> what makes you think I lack confidence?


Because you openly disparage yourself. That's not exactly the pedigree of a "confident man".



Jayg14 said:


> I have no problem meeting women, getting dates.


Women with low sex drives and medical issues isn't anything to brag about. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel. No offense.



Jayg14 said:


> I just can't get the relationship I want.


Most women do not want a long term FWB situation. Short term maybe. Long term they want husbands.



Jayg14 said:


> If I had more alpha traits, I'd have the relationship I desire.


If you want to be more alpha, hit the gym hard and diet to a low bf %. Disclaimer: that's still not going to make you happy. Happiness comes from with in.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> Because you openly disparage yourself. That's not exactly the pedigree of a "confident man".
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Appreciate the response. I've lost over 30 pounds since last April, and getting nearer to my goal. I've got other things happening and my kid is in HS and getting ready to look at college. I am fulfilled outside of this. Only thing missing is the sex life I want. And IMO, many women my age (late 30s/early 40s) aren't looking for marriage. Or, if they are, they don't say it. 

I've tried to change my mindset, and wanted to make sure I wasn't being an a$$ or unreasonable with regards to this issue. I was, according to the people here, with my last thread. Like I posted earlier, we're going to talk next week.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

When you have the talk, try not to ask too many questions. In fact, don't ask any questions at all.

Asking questions is weak. Making statements is strong.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

ulyssesheart said:


> Sorry, this is nonsense talk. She is very ill. She has real problems. Problems that drugs, doctors, psychologists and shallow men cannot solve. Read the whole post before you throw stones.


Sounds like I hit a nerve with you. I disagree obviously, but to each his own.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> Get over "you", Sir!


Care to elaborate?


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Jayg14 said:


> Care to elaborate?


Sure. No offense meant. You were burned by your ex. I get that. If you must carry this baggage, take it to the curb one last time and give it to Waste Management. Do not continue to display this baggage or expect any new women to re-wash these old dirty clothes.

Accept people for who they are and for what they can offer, or not offer. Your girlfriend is on anti-anxiety medication and is very depressed, yet you took her weaknesses personal. She did not want sex often enough, she acted bizarre. No, she acted the way she did, not to punish you, or to humiliate you but rather she acted as befitting an ill human being. Let her go. Let your hurt feelings go. Stop worrying so much about you. Gain some insight and compassion into/about others. That is my message.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> Sure. No offense meant. You were burned by your ex. I get that. If you must carry this baggage, take it to the curb one last time and give it to Waste Management. Do not continue to display this baggage or expect any new women to re-wash these old dirty clothes.
> 
> Accept people for who they are and for what they can offer, or not offer. Your girlfriend is on anti-anxiety medication and is very depressed, yet you took her weaknesses personal. She did not want sex often enough, she acted bizarre. No, she acted the way she did, not to punish you, or to humiliate you but rather she acted as befitting an ill human being. Let her go. Let your hurt feelings go. Stop worrying so much about you. Gain some insight and compassion into/about others. That is my message.


None taken! I thank you for sharing this because I had no idea what you were trying to say!


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## ulyssesheart (Jan 7, 2017)

Jayg14 said:


> None taken! I thank you for sharing this because I had no idea what you were trying to say!


Funny thing, I look "somewhat" like your photo, minus the eye patch! LOL!


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## inging (Dec 11, 2016)

HI
If she has chronic back pain it is very difficult for her to do anything at all. I have two bust disks and became cranky, tired and frustrated. I also became self centered about lying down on flat things. My sex drive fell through the floor, not only from the pain but because i was fearful of making my back worse and losing my single position of comfort. 
My back is now much better. No drugs. No surgery. Therapeutic Massage, no lifting for 6 months and lots and lots of walking and swimming. Lying in bed and taking pain meds is not the answer. 
Help her to get better or leave her.

When you are back in the dating pool later in life nobody is ideal, everyone has some damage they bring along. The trick is to be honest and open with your girlfriend. If you are bored at her place just go home. If you want monkey sex.. say it. 
Read No More Mr Nice Guy

You are worried about social media? Get a grip man. You are all grown up.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

inging said:


> You are worried about social media? Get a grip man. You are all grown up.


Thanks for posting. I am sorry you had back issues, but I am happy to hear they are better.

Read No More Mr Nice Guy. Good and valuable.

I am only worried that my dirty laundry gets aired on it and I get fired as a result, which has happened. I think worst case scenario, which is bad, I know.


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

ulyssesheart said:


> Jayg14 said:
> 
> 
> > Care to elaborate?
> ...


I take it personally because of what happened in my past. Hard to not be on guard.


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