# Can Rosetta Stone teach women to speak male?



## mattsmom (Apr 2, 2013)

So, my husband and I had our second MC counseling session on Wednesday. The therapist pointed out a few things to my husband 1) she said that she felt he was having a pity party and needed to look at the needs of other people, 2) she said that she felt he was saying the right words, but wasn't really committed to working on our marriage and 3) she said that she felt he really needed to get some psychiatric help. After leaving therapy, we didn't talk at all about what had happened. 

Last night, after our 9 year old went to be, he asked me how I felt therapy had gone. I told him that I thought it went well. I told him that I felt relieved that the therapist had seen some of the things that I had seen. He said that he felt attacked and ganged up on. I asked him if he wanted me to cancel our next appointment, and he said that it was important to me, so he'd go. I don't want him to go, because he thinks it's important to me. I want him to go because he believes that it can help us save our marriage.

I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. He keeps asking me to tell him what I want him to do. I keep telling him that I just want us to be able to talk, to touch, and to act as if we're in love. I want him to remind me that I'm a woman, not just some androgynous care-giver. He said he doesn't know how. I feel like we're speaking two different languages. 

He says he needs me to tell him specifically. So, I told him that I think it's important for him to see a psychiatrist and get his meds adjusted. He's been on the same thing at the same dosage since 2009. He said he'll go to get his meds adjusted, but he thinks therapy is a waste of time. I told him that I've ordered a couple of books on anger management specifically for men that I would like for him to read, because his anger hurts us all. His reply was, "I probably won't read them. You know I don't like to read." I've told him that I need him to kiss me like we are lovers, not a mother and son. I've told him that I need to be held. I've asked for other specific things that he's flatly refused to do. 

This morning, before I left for work, I just broke down and cried. I don't know what to do, anymore. He says that we can make it work, but I don't see how, if nothing changes. I wish I never would have said anything about how I felt. At least then, one of us was happy. I was miserable, but he was blissfully unaware. Now, not only do I have to deal with my own problems, but I get to be cheerleader for him, as well. I'm so tired. I just want a break.


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## Kermitty (Dec 27, 2012)

I'm not familiar with your entire story but i will have to say the "I don't like to read" bit was infuriating. My women language tells me he isn't willing to put in the work to fix the marriage unless it is on his terms. Sounds selfish. 
I wouldn't give up on the therapist. If he felt attacked and ganged up on then he should take that up at your next appointment. I think a stranger helping has more of a chance breaking through to him than you do alone. I'm sure she will address the issues you bring to the table but if he doesn't own up to his role in all this, nothing will change.


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## Cuckcoo (Apr 23, 2013)

mattsmom said:


> So, my husband and I had our second MC counseling session on Wednesday. The therapist pointed out a few things to my husband 1) she said that she felt he was having a pity party and needed to look at the needs of other people, 2) she said that she felt he was saying the right words, but wasn't really committed to working on our marriage and 3) she said that she felt he really needed to get some psychiatric help. After leaving therapy, we didn't talk at all about what had happened.


I would say your husband has some initial shock to the therapist telling him these things. He may have gone into the situation thinking everything is your fault and he is going to hear the therapist "give it to you". He got the harsh reality in this session however. 

Don't give up. Keep going and encourage him to go. 

My husband had this same reaction to our first MC sessions.


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