# Cheating wife wants kids to visit most of summer..



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

As I seek joint custody of the kids, I had a question. I am fine with alternating holidays, but I wasn't sure how Birthdays are handled. I have 2 kids, 10G, 5B. STBXW lives in another state so all of this is not easy. Also, when the summer comes around, what is a reasonable amount of time they visit. Is there a set standard of time? As a school employee, I would like to spend my vacation time with the kids too!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If she is out of state and their birthdays are during the school year then she misses bdays unless she travels to town for the bdays.

Bdays can either be one year with you and next year with her (if she's in town)

or hald day with each of you when she's in town.

Summer can be split... Half with one of you and half with the other. Do not let her have the entire summer. If you do, you will be a mean school parent and she will be the fun summer vacation parent.

She moved right? That's her problem that she moved away from her kids.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Consult with your attorney first and when you are happy with his/her proposal, then submit it to your stbxw.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

H- 
Your chick caused you some serious pain back in the day. She has made her bed. 
Now for the reality of it all..........THE KIDS. 

You have read alot more about this then most but my take is a healthy balance between what the kids need and what you can manage. Some of the pros might give you a better perspective. Have you talked to there counselors?

At this point it is no so much about you and the STBXW but what is a healthy balance for the kids.

Sure your chick took off and I kind of remember all that stuff but when it comes to what you want and what the STBXW wants, does it realy matter?

Your STBXW could be into some serious bad news or she could be doing good, talk to the BIL and others and get as much info on were the STBXW is at. Knowledge is power and it will serve you well to *again* investigate and do the research. This time not for the infidelity purpose, but for the simple fact of what is best for the kids.

Snooping sucks, but for guys like us its the best way to make the best dicision for our selves and our kids.


----------



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

What is BIL?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Houstondad said:


> What is BIL?


Brother-in-law?


----------



## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

You need to talk to your attorney to find out your rights and her rights. And I would make sure she has to pay to fly them up to MN to see her (I think that is where she moved). Don't be the one paying to get the kids to her (unless the law says you have to). 

Like another poster said, the most fair deal might be to have them spend half the summer with you and half with her.


----------

