# Any way to avoid porn?



## Jazzercise (Dec 9, 2011)

Hiya! Newbie here. My hubby of 10 years just told me that he has been watching porn our entire relationship. Surprisingly, I didn't react at all but he did. lol! he flew off the handle and broke his phone into a million pieces vowing to never do it again. wow  I don't care if he watches it behind my back but he feels like he's cheating and is terrified of being caught. I'm no dummy and I always give plenty of notice before I enter a room. lol! Well, I guess my question is this...Is there anything I can do to make it so he doesn't need porn? I'm honestly surprised he has time to watch it because we have sex every day and I have no limitations. lol! Plus I have never turned him down. Is there some way i can fill that void or should I just let him work this out on his own? 

p.s. I really don't want to watch porn with him. To each their own, but I feel it's disrespectful to be staring at another chick while bangin me. just saying...


----------



## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Although I, myself, am a viewer of porn and see nothing wrong with it, I disagree with the notion that ANYone - man or woman - "needs" porn.

If I take your story at face value, and the sex life isn't lacking, but he still views and masturbates to porn, that, in and of itself, is only as big a problem as one or both of you make it. If, however, his reaction to his own revelation was genuine, he may have moved into compulsive/addictive behavior regarding his porn viewing and/or masturbation. I've been there before in my life...what starts as a brief diversion, becomes a routine, becomes a habit, becomes a compulsion. If that's the case he needs to view it as such and seek to break his cycle of behavior if he truly wants to. He may be able to do it on his own, he may have to approach it the same way an alcoholic or drug addict approaches their recovery.

My hat is off to you for not demonizing the porn itself. The issue lies with his behavior, not with the tools of his behavior.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jazzercise (Dec 9, 2011)

Thank you! That's exactly how I feel. He says he wants to talk to me about it but is terrified for some reason. He's making me feel like a psycho or something. lol! I guess it's because of his immense guilt and embarassment. Oh well. I appreciate your response. It was beautifully and clearly put. I'm going to bring up these ideas whenever we discuss it next. :smthumbup:


----------



## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

His response makes me think that HE, himself, knows he's been using it in ways that are no good. Ways that make him feel dirty, a cheater, etc...

It's great that he came out to you about this. Read up on porn addiction together...


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

If he wants to stop it’s all about “impulse control”. Impulse control is one of the higher, mature and wiser ways of living. And it quite simply involves saying “no” when one gets an “impulse” to do something. It’s the same as saying no to the impulse to smoke, no to the impulse to have a drink etc. All he has to do is keep saying “no” to his impulses for a month or so and he’ll have broken the habit.

But. There are many youngsters with all sorts of ED problems when going for sex with a woman. Turns out these youngsters have been using porn since the age of 12 or so and it gives them a massive problem with women when in their 20s and 30s. So things between yourselves sound good at the moment but the long term affects of porn, the prognosis are not good at all.


----------

