# What is destroying your marriage...in a nutshell?



## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

I posted this thread on Going through Separation or Divorce, but wanted to see what kind of feedback it received on here.

My wife and I have been separated 17 months now and are heading for divorce, since we haven't been able to reconcile successfully.

Looking back on it, in a nutshell, the following were many of the major factors that destroyed our relationship: One or both of us are guilty of most, if not all of these.

Infidelity 
Distrust 
Indifference 
Verbal and/or Mental abuse (real or perceived)
Lack of Sex or Sexual Desire
Incompatibility (not much in common)
Outside Interference (family and friends, but mainly family that made things worse)
Toxic Relationship (Just can’t get along well when around each other alone)
Negative Relationship (attitude)
Lack of Affection
Overbearing (at times)
Counseling (that didn't help or resolve issues)


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Distrust
Indifference
Lack of Sex or Sexual Desire
Negative Relationship (attitude)
Lack of Affection
Counseling (that didn't help or resolve issues) 

AND he has his head so far up his a$$ he can lick his tonsils.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

the nut living in his shell


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Malibu17 said:


> Infidelity
> Distrust
> Indifference
> Verbal and/or Mental abuse (real or perceived)
> ...



Guess I don't have any of those, my marriage problems are minor for the most part, snoring, allergies, food preferences, but we are able to work through them.
The only sore spot is my husbands daughter, as she is an adult and very immature. She has tried to come between us many times but my husband won't let her. She will have to accpet her father has moved on and married and she will learn to be civil and with respect or she will not be in our lives. She can't verbally abuse us or have unrealisitc expectations forever, we hope.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

Our marriage is still intact despite money issues and online addiction issues. I think we are just too stubborn and independent.


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

Over the past years, I withdrew from the marriage as initially we lived as two lone individuals, rather than two becoming one. We did not communicate right and did not understand each others wants and needs in a marriage. Because of this, I became depressed as I questioned whether I really loved her, since I couldn't deliver what she needed. By the time I came out of this and realized my feelings and am ready to work on this, she has found another (known him for a month and a half, but he is her soulmate, he is married too, and he is a Chaplain). Just a few months off of fixing this right.

I feel she is cruising for a rough ride (me too, actually, as I'd take her back and do what I needed to from the start and it would not be the same. Still love her). But she is hell bent on him being the reason for living. I'm sure it wont be long...


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

snix11 said:


> the nut living in his shell



lmao!!!!!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Lack of desire (me)
Lack of affection (him)
Passive-Aggressive behavior (him)
Poor communication (me)


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Lack of communication (it 90% problem)
The other is help around house.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Narcassicm (Him)
superiority complex(him)
stress (me)

KNow what it's like living with a prison guard who doesn't know he has left the prison.....you are the prisoner.

sad how a sweet person can change so much.


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

My soon to be ex had an EA and left to be with her. Divorce should be final in 3-4 months. YEAH!! :smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

My marriage could have ended when adult stepdaughter came in and tried to come between us, if my husband took her side or in any way amused her in her unrealisitc expectations and horrible behavior, we would have divorced.
I am glad my husband is a good and sensible man and didn't do that.


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## missylady (Aug 11, 2009)

His sons 18, 21, 22.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

It's interesting to read all the replies that are destroying relationships. One thing is certain; No one on the outside looking in knows (even though they may claim too), what your experiencing in your marriage and what's tearing it apart.

I updated (from above), what has destroyed mine and it's all of the following and then some:

Infidelity (both)
Distrust (both)
Indifference (her)
Lack of Love (both)
Verbal and/or Mental abuse (real or perceived) (both)
Lack of Sex or Sexual Desire (me)
Incompatibility (not much in common) (both)
Outside Interference (family and friends, but mainly family that made things worse)
Toxic Relationship (Usually can’t get along well when around each other alone) (both)
Negative, critical, angry attitude (her)
Lack of Affection (her)
Resentful (both)
Suspicious (her)
Lack of physical attraction to her (me)
Overbearing with attitude and tone of voice (at times with me and the kids) (her)
Unable/unwilling to make changes necessary to make relationship work. (her)
Lack of showing appreciation to one another (both)
Uses harsh tone of voice when inappropriate (her)
Difficult to reason with (her)
Extensive Counseling - didn't help, but made things worse in some respects.

Many of the issues above, happened or reoccurred over a long period of time. We were married for 21 yrs.


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