# I feel so stupid!



## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

Hello all,

I need guidance as to what to do next. I have been w/boyfiend for 10 years, no kids (thank god!). In January, after being suspicious of his recent behavior (withdrawn, distant, avoiding me at home and not interested in going out to dinner, movies, etc. for the last few months) I snooped on his phone and found text messages between him and another woman. She was calling him "cutie" and asking about a hotel. He was telling her he was moving out of state, that he was too old for her but that she should think about moving to this same state, and that he wasn't talking marriage but he could help her and her daughter. I was devastated. I made the mistake of immediately confronting him - he denied and lied. Said he let a friend borrow his cell and that was a convo friend was having with OW. I didn't believe him. It took almost a week of me asking before he admitted . Said he met her at his psychiatrist's office in November (he has ADD, depression and anxiety), that she was in a bad way financially and emotionally, and they went to Starbucks a couple of times but no physical contact. I didn't believe that - why mention a hotel? His answer was that they were going to "talk". He told me he made the reservation but she didn't show (right, sure she didn't). Said she is 24 (he is 39) and her home life is unstable, she has no job and deadbeat baby daddy.

I went into detective mode and found that he had sent her cash via Western Union - about $650, bought her a cell phone and added that phone line to our bill! I also found a Samsung tablet was added to our bill; when I asked about the who and what of that he said he bought the tablet for his mother. I didn't have enough info to refute that at the time, so i filed it away for later. I checked the cell phone bill - the number of texts between the two of them was off the charts. But I also found thousands of texts to numbers I didn't recognize, starting in September 2012. So I googled them and they came up as escort services. His average number of texts had been about 350, but around September that number shot up to 3,500! He would text compulsively - one after another after another, so that in 60 minutes, he would send over 60 texts to different escorts.

Basically, he denied the escorts, said his SIM card must have been cloned. He promised that he would have no further contact with the girl and he had made a mistake. He had his cell # changed. This was January. Well, i recently found two tracphones in his briefcase. There were texts to this OW and texts to and from escorts talking about times/pricing.I also found 3 emails confirming hotel reservations. He also just disabled the OW's cell phone (3 months later!) and admitted that the Samsung tablet belonged to her - but it was still a BS story he gave, told me that when he bought her the phone there was some special at the store and therefore the tablet was free.Also said he doesn't know what to tell me about the hotel reservations, he doesn't know anything about them (liar).

I couldn't have made up this story. This is a man who I thought was solid, grounded and stable. Even with the ADD and A/D, which was diagnosed well into our relationship, he seemed like such a decent human being. He always said that cheating was the dumbest thing ever, that if you didn't want to be with your partner anymore, then no one is holding a gun to your head. He wants to save the relationship, but there is nothing left to save. He cannot admit his behavior, nevermind take responsibility for it. He doesn't want to do IC and has continued to lie to me. Last night he didn't come home until 1 am. His bogus story was that he went to Starbucks after work and stayed until closing and then went to a Starbuck's employees new house. I said a dude wanted you, another dude, to come see his new house? I checked his email and saw he used his mother's credit card to Western Union money to himself. Then i went into his truck, where he keeps his tracphones and saw he had texted a few escorts and looks like he made an appointment with one (couldn't say for sure, he deleted his side of the congo, but kept their replies).

I live in his house, but have put about 20k into it via renovations. He told me when he sells it, he will split the proceeds 50/50 with me, but there is nothing legally binding that requires him to do so. I do not want to piss him off before he signs a contract (if possible) agreeing to give me some $$ from sale of the house. I have an appt w/an attorney Monday to find out what my rights are. 

I have been talking to his mother for the last few months, before I even knew about the OW/escorts. She approached me, saying she was concerned about his erratic behavior and that he didn't seem like himself. He opened up credit cards in his parents' names and now "owes" then about 25k.She said he is also constantly borrowing/asking them for money. She wanted to know where the money is going and asked me to see if I could find out. So now I know. Do i tell her? I am supposed to call her and discuss the boyfriend's latest psych appointment. His new doctor thinks he was misdiagnosed earlier and is actually bipolar.

If you are asking why I'm still here - I had surgery last month so i am still recuperating. He cannot afford the mortgage by himself - the house would go into foreclosure and I don't want to lose that $$. I want to ask him to put the house up for sale (he is 2 months behind on the payments) and go live with my parents short-term. I think his parents would have to get involved in that case to ensure he gets caught up on the payments. 

Any thoughts?


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Definitely tell his mother! You are not "tattling". Everyone needs to know. If this OW is married, her H needs to know. Their therapist needs to know. Lots more help coming from the vets. Hang in there


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

Thanks for your input! I went with him to his last dr. appointment and did tell his new psych about the escorts (he still denied) as well as the other changes I saw in his behavior - lack of impulse control, moodiness, operating on 3-4 hours of sleep for days at a time, financial issues, poor judgement, numerous traffic violations/accidents. It was all new information to her. 

I will have to have the difficult convo with his mother and sister, hopefully this weekend. 

Unbelievable.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Terrible. You must D asap.


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## yellowledbet (Sep 5, 2012)

duped1313 said:


> Thanks for your input! I went with him to his last dr. appointment and did tell his new psych about the escorts (he still denied) as well as the other changes I saw in his behavior - *lack of impulse control, moodiness, operating on 3-4 hours of sleep for days at a time, financial issues, poor judgement, numerous traffic violations/accidents.* It was all new information to her.
> 
> I will have to have the difficult convo with his mother and sister, hopefully this weekend.
> 
> Unbelievable.


WebMD Mania (bipolar symptoms)


> Hypomania and Mania Symptoms in Bipolar Disorder
> Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
> Sudden changes from being *joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile*
> Restlessness, increased energy, and *less need for sleep*
> ...


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

It sounds like all this money is going to the OW and to the prostitutes. He may also have a drug habit that you don't know about.

I think you are fiddling while Rome is burning. Don't worry about your portion of the house proceeds. For all you know, he's in so much debt that you won't get anything anyway.

You're not married, so it's legally very easy. He is having some kind of break and he doesn't want your help with it. Instead, he is scr*wing many, many other women. This knowledge should help you decide that you don't need to help him with whatever his problem is. 

Just pack up and go.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

Yup. Basically all of the above describes his current behavior. Last week, his psych took him off of the Adderall and put him on Risperdal, an anti-psychotic.But with that being said, I say to myself, now what? Am I going to have to monitor his behavior the rest of my life? And he thinks medication is going to be a magic pill, so he doesn't want to do the hard work of IC. And still not admitting to what he is doing. His mom told me about the credit cards he opened in their names, but he denies this and says they knew. Ugh.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

thanks alte Dame


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

Re: drug problem. He took some of my narcotic medication that was prescribed to me for pain following my surgery. I counted the pills Wednesday and 10 were missing. So I hid the bottle and confronted him about taking them. He apologized but said he used them to sleep, to get rid of headaches or if he has had a bad day!? Just 10 minutes ago he asked me for one - I told him no.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

There are no children, you aren't married, and who knows what is going on with him and debt.

Go to your parents now. He can sort himself out as he sees fit.


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## Regga (Jan 22, 2013)

Please make a dr appt to check for STD's ASAP!!! Do not have sex with him! Leave the house. Look up the 180 and start working on you. 
I am so sorry you are going through this. It's soo painful! 
It sounds like a sexual addiction with the escorts.
Please focus on you right now. He's in another world you just can't talk him out of.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

You can't run fast enough from this guy. 

You can suggest he list the place for sale, but when they are spinning out of control like this the most important thing is getting out of harm's way.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

ok the only question i have for you is WHY in GODS GREEN EARTH are you still with this guy??!!??!!?? :scratchhead: :scratchhead:

i mean really RUN until you cant run anymore and then RUN a little longer. either you are wanting to play the white knight trying to rescue him or you are mother teresa


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

How long have you lived in his home? You may qualify as common law married and have rights to the house,


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Do not worry about the money that you invested in the relationship. It is gone, the longer you stay with this "person" the longer it will take you to stand on your own two feet and enjoy life again.

I know your feeling about the investment and the waste, but you would spend just as much in a stupid divorce, just walk away and start a new life. Just my 2 cents David


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Run. Mental illness is tragic but you cannot succeed in such a marriage. Even friendship will be very difficult.

The question you must ask yourself is why you did not see the signals earlier and once you knew, what kept you going forward.


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## Regga (Jan 22, 2013)

Shaggy is correct. Common law is recognized more and more regarding relationships...especially since divorces are so common!
Can you tell us more about what is making you stay? Many times we hear about women who stay because they love their significant other...is this the case for you? What things can you think of that hold you where you are? We'll be happy to break things down and give you options!


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## hopefulgirl (Feb 12, 2013)

That bipolar description sounds right. So having him move in with your parents just after being diagnosed bipolar and starting a trial of new medication? 

I understand putting the house up for sale to save your money (assuming you WILL get your money out of it after he sells it), but what might your parents have to deal with? Do they have any medications he might steal? Do you think it's OK to move him in with your parents when he hires prostitutes (even if he wouldn't bring them there) and sleeps 4 hours a night?

And since he's denying a lot of it, no point in his getting STD tested (a negative result now could be meaningless since he could catch one tomorrow). But as has been mentioned, YOU have to be tested, and you have to stop having sex with him.

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this mess.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I have been tested for HIV - came back negative. I will get a full screening and another HIV once I'm fully healed from my surgery. We have not had sex in a year (clue#1). Whenever I questioned this, he blamed the anti-depressants he was on for his low sex drive. He and the old psych did try adjusting dosages and types to alleviate that side effect, but he had bad reactions.

He bought the house in 2004, I moved in in 2006.

His behavior with the extreme bi-polar like symptoms been going on since September of 2012. Prior to that, the clues I had were lack of sex, poor financial decisions and the traffic violations. The sex thing he explained to my satisfaction, even though I obviously wasn't happy with it ( i was also on AD in 2011, so I could relate to lack of sex drive). I think part of the problem has been that we were very isolated in our relationship...his few close friends live out of state and so does his family. I only got a full picture of the situation (minus the OW/escorts) and stopped feeling maybe I was the crazy one after visiting his family last summer and then his mom stayed with us for a few days in December. So I was able to compare notes with someone who knows him as well as I do. He was very withdrawn from them, moody and focused on task-oriented things (putting gas in his sister's car, fixing the internet connection at his parents' house rather than spending time with them and his nieces).

I started snooping in earnest in December (i had snooped before throughout 2012, mostly looking at his texts and calls on his Iphone and found nothing). I found the OW in January and found the escorts in March. The challenge was that throughout this time I had a medical issue that I had to go out of state for various treatments and then surgery. It was nerve-wracking and stressful and I just wanted to get that behind me. I started to emotionally detach from him in Jan. and was pretty much done by the time I found the texts to/from escorts.

I'm thinking my 20k may have be chalked up to "tuition" for this lesson.

I guess my question is not to stay or go, but whether to tell his family? If it was just this OW, I probably wouldn't bother. But the fact that there are escorts and him using his parents money for this is the crux of my dilemma. If I was his mom and dad, I would want to know. They know something is wrong, but they don't know the what.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

hopefulgirl - He would not be moving in w/my parents with me. NO WAY!


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## hopefulgirl (Feb 12, 2013)

Glad to hear that - you said something at the end of your original post about his moving in with them short term and I thought that wasn't a good idea.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Your husband is ill. He may require hospitalization. He needs to stay on the meds. It could take three years before he is stable enough to repair his life. His cheating is partly a symptom of his condition, i.e., he is not able to make rational decisions or choices if he is psychotic
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Why did cheating come up in conversation previously? I have a theory that people who suddenly and with no previous context start saying that they could never cheat are already taking their first baby steps toward being a cheater.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

duped1313 said:


> I guess my question is not to stay or go, but whether to tell his family? If it was just this OW, I probably wouldn't bother. But the fact that there are escorts and him using his parents money for this is the crux of my dilemma. If I was his mom and dad, I would want to know. They know something is wrong, but they don't know the what.


Yes, tell them, all of it, the whole narrative and your perception of his behavior since early 2012.
You must protect yourself and leave him asap but telling his family what's going on would be the ultimate act of love towards him. It's obvious you care about him.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> Why did cheating come up in conversation previously? I have a theory that people who suddenly and with no previous context start saying that they could never cheat a are already taking their first baby steps toward being a cheater.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A member of my book club said that her best friend from childhood who valued being treated by her parents as one of the family once said to her: " I would never cheat with your husband because I wouldn't want you mother to be upset with me." She said the remark also seemed to come out of nowhere.

And sure my book club member got a divorce after learning her husband's cheating with this same friend.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

The cheating remark came after we were watching some entertainment show (E! or Entertainment Tonight) and there was some movie star caught cheating on his/her spouse.


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## lostandstuck (Nov 3, 2012)

So sorry for what you are going through. I agree you should get yourself in order and leave he isn't going to change unless he wants to change. It sounds like he needs lot of help and it isn't your job to fix him. I agree you should tell his family.

Regarding the house, I was in sort of a similar situation expect I was married and I only lived in the house 3 years. We bought the house before marriage and I put down the down payment. Since my name was not on the deed or mortgage (oh what we don't think of when we love and trust someone) my lawyer told me I was not entitled to anything. It was considered a "gift". So what I did was got a mortgage note against the house for the money (I waived interest). STBXH had to sign it which he did because I used paying for the divorce he wanted as leverage. So now if the house is sold or re-financed he must satisfy my mortgage note on top of the other mortgage for the house. 

So in your case I do not know if it will be worth it since you said he already is not good with money and may lose the house. Also, you need to consider how much is left on the current mortgage because even if you sell it you won't make money unless you have payed down the mortgage enough. The housing market is not was it used to be.


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## Silverlining (Jan 15, 2012)

WOW!!!

You can not fix him. You need to work on fixing you. He is a serial cheater, pathological liar and a narcissist. He is never going to change. Kiss that money goodbye.... Lesson learned. 

Get out as soon as you can. Inform his mom of everything.

It sounds like everyone around him is enabling him.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

if you do not want the same things in your life as you move forward, then it is time for a change. Move forward with your life and leave this guy in your rear view. Focus on the life in front of you and focus on yourself.

Get tested, make sure you health has not been negatively impacted. I know it's tough to take the action of ending your relationship, but you are not going to fix him. Only he can do that.

Good luck


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Why did cheating come up in conversation previously? I have a theory that people who suddenly and with no previous context start saying that they could never cheat a are already taking their first baby steps toward being a cheater.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Makes sense.


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## ilyers2002 (Dec 19, 2012)

*Re: Re: I feel so stupid!*

His behavior with the extreme bi-polar like symptoms been going on since September of 2012. --He was very withdrawn from them, moody and focused on task-oriented things (putting gas in his sister's car, fixing the internet connection at his parents' house rather than spending time with them and his nieces).


He's using meth. 
I guarentee it. 
Missing money, escorts, high sex drive, detailed oriented tasks, mood swings...
Your boyfriend is a drug addict, meth addict to be specific, on top of having bipolar disorder. 
Take it from me, 10+ recovered meth addict and bipolar myself. 
I've watched these exact things happen to the addicts I was around along with myself before I got clean. 
You can't save him, dont try. 
I tried to help a friend and it was fruitless. He's in the beginning to middle stages of his addiction now & its a time of fun for him. He won't give it up. By the time he reaches his "rock bottom" I can promise you that he'll be too far gone mentally to be saved. (Some can be, I was a rarity myself) but 99% of meth addicts never get clean or stay clean. Consider this relationship over and get out ASAP. All you can do is take care of yourself and watch him unravel from the sidelines, if you choose. It'll be a VERY SAD journey as well. Be prepared for that. I'm not his physician, so I can't say 100% that this is the case, but I'd bet my life savings and my life on it that it is. I'm sorry you're going through this. It won't be easy. I hope everything works out for you, and him as well. But there's no forcing him to change his life. Save yourself & let him meet his fate. Again, I'm really sorry. Take care.


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## duped1313 (May 3, 2013)

In re: to meth, I certainly wouldn't rule it out at this point. Anything is possible. The man I knew is no longer here, if he was ever really here to begin with. 

I consulted with a lawyer yesterday regarding the house and my options. He told me my best option was to get my name on the deed and to have the boyfriend sign a contract saying that if and when the house is sold, I get x amount or percentage. The boyfriend has agreed to these two things. I know most people are telling me to cut and run, but I really do need the money. It won't stop me from leaving, but I need to at make this one attempt and try to recoup some of it. His sister and mother are getting a call from me tonight to update them as to what is going on with him. Honestly, they seem half-hearted about this whole mess. I don't know if it is denial or the distance (they live in Virginia, we are in NY). His sister was supposed to call me last night but never did. I think with his family he is operating on the gas fumes of his prior reputation and actions - for years he was always the one his family went to for advice and help, financial and otherwise. He would take care of things for them, so they didn't really have to worry about anything, never mind worry about him as a person.

I should probably have him sign any paperwork before notifying his family of the depths of his behavior, but I really feel that I have to talk to them sooner rather than later. Also, I'm not sure that him signing the paperwork will guarantee me the money since he doesn't seem to be paying the mortgage. He is counting on the money from the sale of the house to pay back the money (or some of it) he took from his parents and sister (so he says), so he is obviously in the throes of irrational thinking and actions by not being current with the payments.

I really appreciate the thoughtful responses. I only wish I had found this site earlier.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

You should try and get your money but save yourself first.


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## lostandstuck (Nov 3, 2012)

Getting your name on the deed is probably the best way to get the 50/50 split. I would have him sign anything he needs to ASAP before he changes his mind. I think waiting to tell his family is best too. You do not need more drama before you get what you need signed. BTW I am also in NY


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## ilyers2002 (Dec 19, 2012)

Make sure you don't keep your valuable items around him, like you've said, anything right now it is possible & if he is abusing drugs, he will rob you blind and deny it, saying you must have misplaced something. That also goes for anyone that is recklessly spending money & needs more for whatever fixation they have at the moment. It's just something to keep in mind. I lost ALL of my expensive jewelery once by believing that a person I swore wouldn't do that to *ME*, anyone else, but not me!! But she did. I wish I'd have known better, some items were irreplaceable. I also wanted to mention, because I forgot to in my last post, that another indicator of meth addiction is the compulsion these addicts have with taking apart and reassembling things, ESPECIALLY computers!!! (I once took apart my entire computer hard drive for the simple fact--delusion--that there was a penny in the floppy disk compartment--don't laugh, lol. This was 2002 and computers still had those!) I ruined my entire computer beyond repair, but to me it was fun at the time. They LOVE doing things that make them feel like engineers. fixing an Internet connection to him would be like giving a 6 year old an all access free pass to disneyland--He would love it, which is probably why he was so fixated on doing it while visiting family. Did he spend alot of time on it? Also, alot of bipolar patients have dual diagnosis with meth addiction. I was never bipolar until about 4 or 5 years post my addiction, and into my sobriety. I was just never the same. Im completely stable now, and it would be impossible to tell I ever had a drug addiction past to a stranger, but there are traits I have now that I never had before, like rapid speech, I talk ALOT and VERY quickly! And I haven't abused a single drug, not even marijuana, in 10 years. So, it ultimately DOES change the personality forever in some ways. I hope he can crawl out of whatever it is that he is dealing with, that life is dangerous in so many ways, and so is bipolar as well, even if he's not using drugs. He could snap on the wrong person while in a mood swing, or so many other bad situations. I admire you for caring about him so much, it truly shows you love this man. I would suggest sitting him down and talking to him point blank. Just be 100% sincere and honest with him. Tell him something like "you know, I have been angry in the past, and we have fought about it, but I'm not angry anymore. I LOVE YOU and I am VERY worried about you. We both know this is the end of our romantic relationship, but not the end of my love for you. Even if you don't want my help, I just want to know what is going on. You may not see it, but I'm struggling with this too, because I am so concerned for you. I promise I won't try to stop you from anything, or tell anyone what you say. I won't hurt you, but I want to know what's going on." Then ask him if there are drugs involved or what the real deal is... and be sincere with that. If he trusts you to tell you the truth, don't turn around and tell his parents, or his doctor, or use it to your advantage in any way for the separation. Take it as an opportunity to get closure and also its a way of letting him know that at least SOMEONE out there he trusts knows his secrets and there's someone he knows cares and loves him. He will need that in the future. You can't HELP him, but you can be the person that he can CALL when he needs to TALK. And by doing that, it might also help you in the future too, just by knowing where and how he is sometimes. It wouldn't be uncommon for a bipolar person or a person dealing with a substance abuse issue (or both) to dissappear off the map at some point, and its worrisome when you don't know where they are, so at least that way you could have closure knowing he's at least OK and it would be good for him to know he still has someone that hasn't given up on him. I believe he probably feels alot of shame and guilt, but mental illness and/or drug abuse make you do things you know are wrong and are ashamed of, but you literally CANNOT stop doing them. I'm sure he's dealing with that internally, which doesn't help the situation. Having you to talk to could help him turn his life around, just having a confidant could make a world of difference to him and the situation. Right now, if he feels like he had to keep it all in, because no one knows and its his dirty secret that he's afraid to tell anyone, it probably just makes everything worse. I'd tell him straight up, but sympathetically, that you belive this (insert your concerns) is what you ALREADY believe he is doing, and that he can deny it if he chooses, but that since you already believe it, your opinion of him won't change. You won't find him to be a horrible person if he comes clean to you, because you already have these views in mind & you still think he's a good person dealing with alot of things & you just want to be there for him when he is ready to come clean. ♡ like I said, be sincere. Even if you are mad one day. Dont make a rash decision and betray his trust if he confides in you, that will never help him or the situation. Always keep that promise. You are dealing with a sick person, no matter what his vice is. He is ill. Until he gets help, all you can do is walk away from EVERYTHING except his phone calls to talk, and pray for him. Being angry with a person that is ill is pointless. I guarentee he's never meant to hurt you or his family, these are just things he does, can't control, regrets, depresses over & then repeats because he is in a cycle he can't get out of and probably feels hopeless. He doesn't do these things to be cruel. They are unintentional and I'm sure he feels terrible. Try not to be angry anymore. Also I think his family might be distant to the situation because they are probably pretty pissed. (Excuse the language.) This is a tough enough economy & everyone is struggling to make it. It's got to be completely frustrating for them, especially being near or into retirement (I assume) and then have their son do things like charge 20k under fraud to their names. It's a frustrating situation. Just thought I'd add that. But I wish you all the best. I hope my advice helps. Take care.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Duped,

You have gotten some very beautiful advice here from ilyers2002, who wrote about meth abuse. She may or may not be right about the substance, but the behavior pattern cries out mental illness. My brother died of schizophrenia. It was long struggle. Every time he went off the meds he ended up being hospitalized. Whether the problem is bipolar or schizophrenia, the illness itself causes damage because the sufferer is living in a state of extreme agitation.

My brother studied math and chemistry, but after falling ill, he could no longer manage those subjects. He still graduated from university but it took a long time. He worked and supported himself but had trouble dealing with people who were not kind. He had girlfriend but I don’t think they had sex. He knew that he could not deal with a deep relationship like marriage. Lucky for him he steered clear of drugs and alcohol, knowing they would sink him to the bottom like a ship with a gaping hole below the waterline. 

How much you will be able to help, as ilyers2002 suggests, depends on your own strength. If you can eliminate the wife-lover and become friend-humanitarian, that may be possible. You must protect yourself. If he ends up hospitalized and without insurance, you cannot pour savings and self into the rescue. You will be consumed. Your survival will be important to him. The friend who was once wife may be an important tie to normalcy. Without it the struggle will be much harder. His family also needs to back him up.

Maybe at this point, he is so messed up that he will be happy if you manage the house sale.

A footnote: when my brother died so many people came to the funeral. He was a good person. Mental illness is tragic but your tbx may be a good person once he stabilizes.

Ilyers2002, I feel for you. PM me if you wish.


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