# Husband ruins every occasion



## Johnston8 (Aug 3, 2019)

It could even be his own birthday in which I always make him whatever he wants usually steak, shrimp,asparus, mashed potatos, Greek salad all homemade and perfect to the T a little pink inside his steak so extra juicy. Anyhow even this he will ruinand act depressed to start fights. Yesterday was our 10 years together since dating not marriage anniversary but we reserve this day as well. It started with me sending him a screenshot. Reminding him last year I made a 3 layer chocolate cake with homemade chocolate frosting and posting our anniversary. 

He text me back while work I "oh happy anniversary honey I will cook tonight," I said ok cool. Mind you, I am a stay at home mom with 8,7, and 4 year old I also home school them I get out of the house once a week that is it to go to my mothers with the kids so breaks are non existent. He is always on break but I am told i sit home and do nothing although he wanted this I use to work full time making loads of money gave up my career to be neglected. 

Yesterday he came home showered got dressed up for the store to go get groceries because he chooses to grocery shop and all his money stays in his hands... So 45 min pass and the store is 3 min away but I try to just relax he is probably get things for dinner to cook. After an hour passes I text "geez you sure take forever" and he messages back " I got tons of foods and snacks!! " so i am thinking oh cool. He arrives with lots of junk a frozen pizza for the kids, a bag of frozen hot wings, frozen fried jalapeno poppers, and frozen like fried chicken balls. Now 10 years together he knows how I eat which is none of that crap. Processed foods for an anniversary dinner. ( he knows how to cook) he bought 24 beers and wine so he was planning for an 'happy ending' I said" honey, what did you get for dinner." Hr got really loud and said "you dont see it!! ok I said, "you know i do not eat fried chicken so what am i supose to. Eat" and he said, "you know what you are so much stress cannot stand you I am getting to the point wherei do not even care anymore. Eat what i got or starve." I was livid, " I said to him one hour at the store I text you so why not ask me what I want since you were not cooking, I didnt bother u because I thought u were getting food to cook..." I made the kids frozen pizza and left his froazen meal for him to fix himself. 

I am in the Middle of finals in two online classes as well so i went back to finishing my fashion project and cried. He laughed watching tv and kept asking the kids how their pizza was and giving out high fives even rubbing our toy poodle and feeding him dinner. He made sure everyone felt love but me. Made me cry more doing my school work. I sacraficed so much and I am not even appreciated. Every year same for holidays and he completely avoids every major holiday event. i can gurantee today he will be full of 'sorry' yet the day is gone cannot get back. I do not even ask for much I would have been happy with frickn chicken and rice to be honest do not even need a gift. And that could not even be done. After the kids went to bed so did he as well like I drained him... Total jerk never thought I would have such an ******* as a husband. I could not imagine any women staying home taking care of kids literally in the house like house arrest because i cannot take the car to go anywhere but my mothers while he drives here and there for himself...also planning to buy himself expensive shoes not a thing for our anniversary same deal every year. 

I can sit down and tell him how i feel he will suck his teeth and roll his eyes like I am so annoying so gets us nowhere. I honestly think he does it purposely. I sen. Him a long detailed message on how pissed he made me yesterday and as usual its sorry I will make it go today... It is like he cannot comprehend it is about that day...am I asking for too much...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I added white space between paragraphs to your post so that it's easier to read. Most people will not read a wall of text.

From what you wrote, your life sounds miserable. You cannot change your husband's behavior. You can only change your own behavior. Then it's up to him whether he chooses to change his behavior in a positive fashion. So, you need to look at how you can change your behavior in a way that makes your life better.

Why are you stuck in the house all the time? You have set up your life in a way that basically holds you prisoner and in many ways also holds your children prisoners in your home.

You home school. What do you use as the basis of your teaching? Do you purchase a curriculum? Do you belong to any homeschool group? It's really important to not isolate yourself when you home school. Have you checked out what your local school district offers for home schoolers? Many of them have activities and special classes that home schooled children can join.

Also, if home schooling your children makes you a prisoner in your own home and basically sets it up for your husband to be abusive, you seriously need to consider sending your children to school and you doing something like get a job. That way you have options. For example you could buy a car so that you can are not stuck in the house. 

You have chosen to make yourself 100% dependent on a man who takes advantage of that. He clearly has lost respect for you because of this. So change things.

Tell him that you need to car so that you can take your children to activities once a week.. like to museums. Most museums have special things for children. The ones near me have activities that children can do that are educational. When my son was the age of your kids, I took him and his friends to things like the local Natural History Museum. The kids loved it.

Also check out the website meetup.com There will most likely be home school group and mother/child groups. These will also help you make friends and expose your children to socialization and more educational opportunities.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Johnston8 said:


> I could not imagine any women staying home taking care of kids literally in the house like house arrest because i cannot take the car to go anywhere but my mothers while he drives here and there for himself...also planning to buy himself expensive shoes not a thing for our anniversary same deal every year.


You don't have to imagine a woman living the way you described above. You ARE living it. 

It's not unreasonable to expect our spouse to treat us with respect. Do you have a plan to leave the marriage when you finish school?


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