# more ‘fun’ and ‘adventurous’ ideas needed



## SheReadsTruth (Jul 21, 2021)

My husband and I have been married for 23 years and have always had an ehhh sex life. It’s always the same thing and no fun / adventure.

I’d love some suggestions to incorporate playful moments or fun into our sex life.
thanks!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
Step 5: Agree on an implementation Schedule for the new items. (One new item a week? a Month? etc.) Also figure out how a new item will be put in the schedule. A random draw? A you each get to alternate a pick? 
Step 6. Agree on a "safe word" and start.

Alternate;
Get a book on erotic massage and practice on each other.

Good luck.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

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We Should Try It - online sex questionnaire for couples







www.weshouldtryit.com


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Why don’t you pretend like you’re a carjacker and drive off and have sex with someone else.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

C.C. says ... said:


> Why don’t you pretend like you’re a carjacker and drive off and have sex with someone else.


Not helpful, CC!


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## abigailla (Jul 14, 2021)

Young at Heart said:


> Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
> Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
> Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
> Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
> ...


Wow, these are awesome tips! Thank you!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
> Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
> Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
> Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
> ...


This. I recommend that you find one that has places for both experience with and desire for the different activities. I have one that I have modified over the years to be more in line with what I think is a more comprehensive list and rating system, if you're interested in it.

There is also a book called 101 Nights Of Great Sex, which I don't think is published anymore, but I think intact used copies are available.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

mojoupgrade is another good site to come up with ideas.

Also make an agreement that either of you can ask for ANYTHING you want, and the other is always free to say "no" but never free to be disturbed by , or to mock their partner's desires. 

Agree that its OK if you try things and they turn out not to be fun - that will happen sometimes. 

Talk about the hottest sex scenes you have seen in movies.

have fun!


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Think back to the stuff you did in the bedroom when you first met and do that. Also most men love to be in charge in the bedroom. Let him.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

bobert said:


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This is great. The first set of questions aren't outrageous or too vanilla and you can add your own to the list. Doing this with the wife tonight. Hope to be surprised.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Thought I'd report back. 

The weshouldtryit site's idea was great but functionally it was disappointing to say the least. But we did wind up talking about a couple of the answers, mostly reinforcement of what we already knew but hadn't discussed or practiced in a while. That always results in good things. So I guess we made a bit of lemonade out of this lemon.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Quad73 said:


> Thought I'd report back.
> 
> The weshouldtryit site's idea was great but functionally it was disappointing to say the least. But we did wind up talking about a couple of the answers, mostly reinforcement of what we already knew but hadn't discussed or practiced in a while. That always results in good things. So I guess we made a bit of lemonade out of this lemon.


There still plenty of others out there. I still have mine as a Word doc, if you want it.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

maquiscat said:


> There still plenty of others out there. I still have mine as a Word doc, if you want it.


I agree, that downloading one that can be modified for your own particular desires or absolute boundaries is a great way to go. 

There is also one that I have seen that is a little too basic. (Scarlet teen) It was geared toward underage couples who don't want to be charged with sex crimes. Everything is would you consent to having your partner hug you without first asking.....would you consent to allowing your partner to touch your breast without first asking. In a committed sexual relationship some of the lists out there are just not appropriate. However, for a couple of horny teens, they may be totally appropriate.

There are some lists geared for all kinds of situations, but I agree, a person should really customize it to make sure that their own particular fantasies get covered.

Some advice for those who (unlike you) have never gone one of the lists.

Askmen Yes No Maybe list advice


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> I agree, that downloading one that can be modified for your own particular desires or absolute boundaries is a great way to go.
> 
> There is also one that I have seen that is a little too basic. (Scarlet teen) It was geared toward underage couples who don't want to be charged with sex crimes. Everything is would you consent to having your partner hug you without first asking.....would you consent to allowing your partner to touch your breast without first asking. In a committed sexual relationship some of the lists out there are just not appropriate. However, for a couple of horny teens, they may be totally appropriate.
> 
> ...


In my case I modified the checklist to be more comprehensive, and specific, as well as improve the rating system, so that I could give it to others as well. There is a lot on that list, that are part of my hard limits. A lot of what I did was split out a lot of things into giving and receiving. For example, some might like receiving oral sex, but not like giving it, or vice versa.


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## Mrs$ (Aug 13, 2021)

Hello, Ive been married for many years and we still have a pretty active sex life. Besides setting aside time for us to be alone together such as a weekly "date night", we made up a fun game we like to use from time to time. One evening while sitting around sharing a bottle of wine we had the idea to write down all of the things that aroused us but were too bashful of shy to ask. That list led to the idea to create an "idea" jar. We both got 10 slips of paper and on each one wrote down an idea or experience sexually that we would like to do. Some of the things are pretty tame such as while out to dinner, go into the restroom and remove an undergarment and finish the dinner in that state.Some of the things are a little more elaborate such as, pretend that one of us is a photographer and the other is a model and try on lingerie or nude and take photos. We folded the papers slips into small squares so once every few weeks when we take turns choosing one slip of paper from the jar, we dont know which one we will get, or who's, but it is a surprise. It is something we really started looking forward to and we have done it long enough that we often add ideas when we think of a new fun one.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

You might also try a Yes/No/Maybe list and exchanging them. It is a similar concept.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

rather than just suggest ideas, think about what really turns YOU on.

is there some sex act you heard about, fantasized about, but were afraid to ask for?
did you see something in a movie that got you wet, and you want to try it for real?
are there any costumes, clothing, or lingerie that you always wanted to try wearing?
Have you ever fantasized about a sexual situation, such as a policeman arresting you for speeding, but you talk him out of it with sexual favors? --i.e. getting off by role playing that with your husband?
Maybe you dress up like a secretary your husband knows at work, and seduce him with that role play?


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## HappilyMarried1 (Jul 21, 2021)

If you both work or if you are a SAHM send him a sexy text or email maybe even with a provocative picture saying what you want to do when you guys or him get back home. Try spicing it up having sex in a different place than usual (ex. car, hotel etc.) If you have no kids or they are out of the house get some sexy outfit or nothing at all and be waiting for him when he gets home. Best of luck!


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