# Memories best forgotten



## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

While going through hurtin_still's thread I remembered a childhood friend who isn't with us anymore. The similarity is remarkable.

Both our families knew each other and so we were introduced to each other when we were toddlers. We went to the same school and were thick-as-thieves getting into trouble whenever we were together. When we were about 12 years old, I remember him having difficulty speaking, his speech slurring like he was drunk. A year later he was diagnosed with ALS. His dad consulted a lot of doctors and found out ALS is genetic. Since no other member in the family had ever been diagnosed with such a condition, his dad got a DNA test done. The results were negative. His mom never said who his biological father was. He passed away on his 17th bday. I was at his bedside. 

Till date no one knows the truth. His dad D'ed and remarried, his brothers haven't spoken to their mom till now. She had a string of bfs after her D but now she is completely alone. She is still protecting the OM. 

It's not something I wanted to remember. It makes me lose faith in humanity.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WhiteRaven said:


> While going through hurtin_still's thread I remembered a childhood friend who isn't with us anymore. The similarity is remarkable.
> 
> Both our families knew each other and so we were introduced to each other when we were toddlers. We went to the same school and were thick-as-thieves getting into trouble whenever we were together. When we were about 12 years old, I remember him having difficulty speaking, his speech slurring like he was drunk. A year later he was diagnosed with ALS. His dad consulted a lot of doctors and found out ALS is genetic. Since no other member in the family had ever been diagnosed with such a condition, his dad got a DNA test done. The results were negative. His mom never said who his biological father was. He passed away on his 17th bday. I was at his bedside.
> 
> ...


Damn, that's rough to read. Between this and your other recent thread (re: friend who recently passed after contracting AIDS via his cheating wife), I wish I could buy you a beer and give you a hug.

A manly hug, though. A "bro-hug", if you will.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

When you are unhappy and distressed every ugly, unwanted memory you ever had comes crawling out of the woodwork.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

ALS is not always hereditary.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

God I hate cheaters!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Real sorry to hear. I lost a friend to suicide after his wife cheated. Not cheery but misery and company you know.

There are some damn good people out there as well as scumbags. It just seems the scumbags get more press for the lives they destroy.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

*Re: Re: Memories best forgotten*



Rugs said:


> ALS is not always hereditary.


?? We work with ALS patients where I work and I've always been under the assumption from work (healthcare field) that it is indeed genetic. Both maternal and paternal sources must have the genetic marker for it to be passed to the fetus or maternal has it or paternal has the genetic marker that is passed to the fetus.

Could you link me up to some material for more info?


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Rugs said:


> ALS is not always hereditary.


I don't know much about causes of ALS. It wasn't pretty watching him waste away. Later on he couldn't speak at all and was put on ventilator support. A while later I started praying to God to end his suffering, to let him die in peace. God didn't listen to me. It took another year for him to pass away. It's been 12 years since I visited a Church.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Memories best forgotten*



WhiteRaven said:


> While going through hurtin_still's thread I remembered a childhood friend who isn't with us anymore. The similarity is remarkable.
> 
> Both our families knew each other and so we were introduced to each other when we were toddlers. We went to the same school and were thick-as-thieves getting into trouble whenever we were together. When we were about 12 years old, I remember him having difficulty speaking, his speech slurring like he was drunk. A year later he was diagnosed with ALS. His dad consulted a lot of doctors and found out ALS is genetic. Since no other member in the family had ever been diagnosed with such a condition, his dad got a DNA test done. The results were negative. His mom never said who his biological father was. He passed away on his 17th bday. I was at his bedside.
> 
> ...


.......sorry to trigger the sad memories of your friend's passing.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> .......sorry to trigger the sad memories of your friend's passing.


Truly sorry for what you are going through.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

WR,

Do not put your faith in man. I know you think this is a sad tale but I think it is one that is actually amazing. You had a childhood friend that you were so close to and always got in trouble with. God gave you a precious gift. Many people go through their lives without knowing what a true friend really is any you sat beside him till the end. I think you were a blessing in each others lives. When many things failed you were there for him.

Dr. Seuss, 'Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.' You are very aware of you life and looking for answers through this pain. The answers are all right there. You just have to open you heart to them. God did not take your gift away. He brought you an amazing gift. Rejoice in that you had an amazing friend and live your life in happiness. Your friend does not want you to be sad. I know you miss him. 

Thank you for sharing. God bless, be strong and go enjoy the day. Spring seems to have arrived.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I lost a friend to suicide after his wife cheated.





inzanoqiaw said:


> I lost a friend to suicide after his wife cheated.


I always wonder how this women face the family of their husbands after it, how they explain the their kids why dad is not with them anymore, I wonder if they have to deny resposability to protect their own sanity. Is really sad to hear that good men lose their lives as consequence of the selfish people who are around them.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Memories best forgotten*



WhiteRaven said:


> Truly sorry for what you are going through.


......I appreciate the thoughts ....I'm surviving. And ....day by day ....I'm working on the idea of really starting to live again.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

manticore said:


> I always wonder how this women face the family of their husbands after it, how they explain the their kids why dad is not with them anymore, I wonder if they have to deny resposability to protect their own sanity. Is really sad to hear that good men lose their lives as consequence of the selfish people who are around them.


Such a sad situation but I don't think the WW has to carry that responsibility. If we accept that nobody can "make" anyone cheat, the same standard should apply to suicides.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

manticore said:


> I always wonder how this women face the family of their husbands after it, how they explain the their kids why dad is not with them anymore, I wonder if they have to deny resposability to protect their own sanity. Is really sad to hear that good men lose their lives as consequence of the selfish people who are around them.


Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


I disagree, there are times when life is so tough and you are in the bottom of a hole that the option seems to become your salvation, a means to end your internal suffering.

I am saddened by your narrow view, it is a view only seen from the outside where you are a spectator who has to pick up the pieces, try sitting the other side of the fence, try to empathize with the feelings of total devastation and despair, that persons hope was lost they saw nothing but more pain in their future and they made a decision to take their own life, as sad as that may seem, these people simply could no longer cope with their situation.

I am sorry for your losses and continued memories of these things.


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## confusedFather (Jul 15, 2012)

I used to think suicide was a coward's way out; I don't anymore. After finding out about my wife's affairs I came to understand how some people could choose it. I never would but now I understand.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

wranglerman said:


> I disagree, there are times when life is so tough and you are in the bottom of a hole that the option seems to become your salvation, a means to end your internal suffering.
> 
> I am saddened by your narrow view, it is a view only seen from the outside where you are a spectator who has to pick up the pieces, try sitting the other side of the fence, try to empathize with the feelings of total devastation and despair, that persons hope was lost they saw nothing but more pain in their future and they made a decision to take their own life, as sad as that may seem, these people simply could no longer cope with their situation.
> 
> I am sorry for your losses and continued memories of these things.



It is taking the easy way out. They can not see that tomorrow is a new day. A new game and another turn at bat.

Yes the pain is great. Others face the same pain. Then they fight their way through till they climb out of the hole.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

I considered doing something rash after finding out I raised two other guy's kids. But, it sure as hell had nothing to do with suicide.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

hookares said:


> I considered doing something rash after finding out I raised two other guy's kids. But, it sure as hell had nothing to do with suicide.


Wow, amazing what all life hands us, isn't?


-sammy


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


Gonna disagree with you on that one. Too much pain with too little coping mechanisms in too short of a time frame can make killing yourself seem sane.

My friend was no coward. He was set up and destroyed by his WW. She had talked him into moving from everything he knew, family, friends, anyone who could support him, so she could get her dirty crotch banged more frequently by OM. I beat five men senseless for trash talking him after he was gone.

Once I had viral meningitis and the pain became so intense that I lost my reason and was asking my poor little wife to hit me in the head with a hammer.

I don't think he made the right choice but he was no coward.

Unrelenting pain can affect your mind. He needed help when there wasn't much, in his mind, available.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


It is often said good people don't cheat, but here we all are. So, I think more along the lines of sometimes good people make irrevocably poor decisions.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

hookares said:


> I considered doing something rash after finding out I raised two other guy's kids. But, it sure as hell had nothing to do with suicide.


Brother, they are your kids. You are the dad though you may not be the father. That is a blessing.


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## Confused&Afraid (Jan 5, 2014)

Contrary to popular belief, I believe that it is the men who tend to die of broken hearts.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

Confused&Afraid said:


> Contrary to popular belief, I believe that it is the men who tend to die of broken hearts.


I remember reading a study that said men loved more deeply than women, I don't know how truth this could be but well after all aren't the men the ones who invented ramantic details for women, also remember reading that contrary to popular belief women didn't have the luxery to think about love and romance until 1 century ago, women had to try to survive in a world dominated by men and look for security while men where the ones choosing the women of their liking if they have the means to do it.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


Going to disagree here. 

I had two buddies die of cancer.

One died of pancreatic cancer.

One died of skin cancer.

Pain killers no longer worked for them at the end. I don't have a strong enough ability with word to describe the pain they were in.

Both begged for help to end it.

I couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain you have to be in to beg to die.

Thankfully, they didn't last long enough to get to the point where they needed to commit suicide.

NOT COWARDS. Even if they did end their lives, they would have put an end to a suffering that we could only guess at. And they still would not have been cowards!


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## hieronymus (Jan 21, 2012)

Wow...a quick search on the Internet suggests that causes of ALS are unknown and that heredity explains only 5-10% of cases. Sounds like the Dad in this case acted rashly and may have ruined the life of his first wife. Perhaps she was a cheater, but just because your friend had ALS is not proof of her infidelity. Quite sad on many levels.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"It is taking the easy way out. They can not see that tomorrow is a new day. A new game and another turn at bat.

Yes the pain is great. Others face the same pain. Then they fight their way through till they climb out of the hole."

I think if a BS already suffers from depression, the chances for such an outcome are greatly increased.

I have suffered from depression my entire life.

While I have learned how to cope and deal with it, I can completely understand how the pain of marital betrayal could overwhelm some people's ability to cope

While I have never had suicidal ideation, I have many times in life felt indifference towards life. 

It is hard to explain, but its like a complete acceptance, even welcoming, of the idea of death.

I can remember feeling totally fine with the thought of not waking up in the morning for another day.

When I get this way, I have learned what actions to take to get myself out of the funk.

But I know many others never learn how to cope as well as I.

So I will never judge those who can't overcome this horrible condition, especially if they are dealing with the immense pain of being betrayed by those closest to them.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Sounds like the Dad in this case acted rashly and may have ruined the life of his first wife. Perhaps she was a cheater, but just because your friend had ALS is not proof of her infidelity. Quite sad on many levels."

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding the original post of this, but I read it to mean that the BH had doubts because he believed ALS to be genetic and did a DNA test that showed the sick child was not his and thus confirmed cheating.

The BH may have been wrong in his belief that ALS is always genetic, but if the DNA test proved the son wasn't his then the WW was DEFINITELY cheating.

Of course, I may have misunderstood the first post.

If the BH just had himself tested for genetic ALS markers and they came back negative, I agree with you this would not be conclusive evidence of cheating.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

manticore said:


> I remember reading a study that said men loved more deeply than women, I don't know how truth this could be but well after all aren't the men the ones who invented ramantic details for women, also remember reading that contrary to popular belief women didn't have the luxery to think about love and romance until 1 century ago, women had to try to survive in a world dominated by men and look for security while men where the ones choosing the women of their liking if they have the means to do it.


Read Robert Frost's Home Burial and understand. It is actually an amazing insight of the emotions of men and women. I don't know if men love more deeply, I can't say but a case could be made.

Women are actually tougher The Iroquois used to have the women torture the prisoners because they had more of a stomach for it. I always found that interesting.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

hieronymus said:


> Sounds like the Dad in this case acted rashly and may have ruined the life of his first wife. Perhaps she was a cheater, but just because your friend had ALS is not proof of her infidelity.


Perhaps you missed this part of the first post:



WhiteRaven said:


> Since no other member in the family had ever been diagnosed with such a condition, *his dad got a DNA test done. The results were negative. *His mom never said who his biological father was.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

hieronymus said:


> and may have ruined the life of his first wife.


Any woman who cuckolds a man does that all on her own. It's one of the most despicable things a woman can do to a man. Her unwillingness to come clean on who the OM is demonstrates where her loyalty remained. She *OWNS* all of the destruction in that case.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

WhiteRaven said:


> Till date no one knows the truth. His dad D'ed and remarried, his brothers haven't spoken to their mom till now. She had a string of bfs after her D but now she is completely alone. She is still protecting the OM.


Did dad ever figure out if he had other kids that were at least his? That'd be a horribly empty feeling not having _any_ of his own.

Given that your families were close, did you ever have a hint who the OM could be?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

hieronymus said:


> Wow...a quick search on the Internet suggests that causes of ALS are unknown and that heredity explains only 5-10% of cases. Sounds like the Dad in this case acted rashly and may have ruined the life of his first wife. Perhaps she was a cheater, but just because your friend had ALS is not proof of her infidelity. Quite sad on many levels.


How so? You must of read the OP differently from me. 


> His dad consulted a lot of doctors and found out ALS is genetic.


I can read her post two ways:
1) Doctors told him ALS is Genetically passed.
2) Doctors specifically confirmed it was a Genetic form of ALS.

Either way, he didn't make that leap or act rash because the doctors told him about Genetic/Inherited ALS.
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Fact Sheet: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS)

This paragraph confirms there is a genetic form of ALS.


> About 5 to 10 percent of all ALS cases are inherited. *The familial form of ALS usually results from a pattern of inheritance that requires only one parent to carry the gene responsible for the disease.
> *


*

I understand your other error, she said "negative" and you thought she meant an ALS test. Normally, when someone says DNA test, it is to include or exclude someone concerning other genetic material like paternity.*


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

manticore said:


> I always wonder how this women face the family of their husbands after it, how they explain the their kids why dad is not with them anymore, I wonder if they have to deny resposability to protect their own sanity. Is really sad to hear that good men lose their lives as consequence of the selfish people who are around them.


They have the ability to insulate themselves with the most profoundly superficial yet thick wall of lies. Very few of them ever own up to it.

You can demonize anyone if you really want.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> Did dad ever figure out if he had other kids that were at least his? That'd be a horribly empty feeling not having _any_ of his own.
> 
> Given that your families were close, did you ever have a hint who the OM could be?


After the whole mess came into the light, both of my friend's elder brothers got DNA tests done. They were positive. 

No one has been able to figure it out. His mom had a middle level management job which required touring. So the OM could have been from anywhere.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> How so? You must of read the OP differently from me.
> I can read her post two ways:
> 1) Doctors told him ALS is Genetically passed.
> 2) Doctors specifically confirmed it was a Genetic form of ALS.
> ...


She? :scratchhead: 

Doctors couldn't find any other reason and had to conclude it could be genetic. 

Regarding 'negative', it's the DNA test. Phil right on all a/cs other than my gender. I'm 6' , 190 lbs of testosterone.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

*Re: Re: Memories best forgotten*



WhiteRaven said:


> I don't know much about causes of ALS. It wasn't pretty watching him waste away. Later on he couldn't speak at all and was put on ventilator support. A while later I started praying to God to end his suffering, to let him die in peace. God didn't listen to me. It took another year for him to pass away. It's been 12 years since I visited a Church.


I work with palliative end of life patients. I understand your pain. The people I've worked with and their families very much become a part of me and change me forever in their own ways.

I'm with my 7th family currently. I totally just get it. My heart is with you.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

wranglerman said:


> I disagree, there are times when life is so tough and you are in the bottom of a hole that the option seems to become your salvation, a means to end your internal suffering.
> 
> I am saddened by your narrow view, it is a view only seen from the outside where you are a spectator who has to pick up the pieces, try sitting the other side of the fence, try to empathize with the feelings of total devastation and despair, that persons hope was lost they saw nothing but more pain in their future and they made a decision to take their own life, as sad as that may seem, these people simply could no longer cope with their situation.
> 
> I am sorry for your losses and continued memories of these things.


I hold this view because I was there, on the edge. About 7 months ago, I was sitting in my car with a 1911 in my mouth. It was too easy pull the trigger. That's when I realized I was willing to end my life because of a woman who betrayed me in the worst possible way. If I had to kill someone, why not my WW and the OM? I didn't kill anyone, though I did put them through psychological hell. I understood my life is valuable, simply because I have just one. 

I do accept my view is narrow. I thought my life was worse. There are people on TAM whose lives have redefined the term 'worse'. Would I scoff at the thought of suicide if I was in their position living their lives? I might not. If I have nothing to look forward to, I may as well stop looking.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

CantePe said:


> I work with palliative end of life patients. I understand your pain. The people I've worked with and their families very much become a part of me and change me forever in their own ways.
> 
> I'm with my 7th family currently. I totally just get it. My heart is with you.


It's heart breaking, gut wrenching to watch someone go through the stages of ALS. Your prayers change from healthy recovery to painless death. 

I can't even think where you find the strength to go through it over and over and over again.


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## Confused&Afraid (Jan 5, 2014)

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Women tend to hold grudges for a loooong time. Which is probably why they will rewrite your history, drag up stuff you did decades ago and use it against you as and when needed. So yes, I can believe women can be more cruel.



MovingAhead said:


> Read Robert Frost's Home
> Women are actually tougher The Iroquois used to have the women torture the prisoners because they had more of a stomach for it. I always found that interesting.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> I hold this view because I was there, on the edge. About 7 months ago, I was sitting in my car with a 1911 in my mouth. It was too easy pull the trigger. That's when I realized I was willing to end my life because of a woman who betrayed me in the worst possible way. If I had to kill someone, why not my WW and the OM? I didn't kill anyone, though I did put them through psychological hell. I understood my life is valuable, simply because I have just one.


Been there myself, also with a side arm, I like the Glock 17 though 

I was deeply scarred by my first Ws betrayal and more so from the way in which it was revealed and exposed to me, CCTV footage so no holds barred, there was no deniable elements of "it was just a kiss" or "just talking", "they paid me compliments" type BS, then coupled with my current Ws EA with HS EX, it just made me feel so insignificant, I lost all self esteem, I weakened physically and mentally, and above all I suffered from depression from my EXWs affairs and it happened again, I was so close to pulling the trigger, it seemed like the only cure to end my agony.

I am astonished at how long she has protected the OM, but wonder if it is out of loyalty? Or was it a drunken ONS in a bar on her travels and she just does not truthfully know who the OM was and just had unprotected sex with a stranger? Not sure what is worse there?

I have a half brother from the girl who used to baby sit me and my sister when my folks went out, she was 16 when my father was having his way with her, I found out 7yrs ago when I was back in my home town on business and walked into a lamp post as the guy walking towards me was almost a twined image of me in every way, after picking myself up off the sidewalk he was gone but I saw my older brother that day and asked him if he'd seen a guy round town who looked just like me? Then it came out, got another two half sisters and another half brother somewhere too, apparently my father liked to put it about 

Also found out that after their D my mother was the OW in an affair with a guy from across town, she knew it too, how the hell I have managed to keep a reasonably level head in life is beyond me


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

wranglerman said:


> I like the Glock 17 though


And I thought you carry a S&W 500 as ccw.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> And I thought you carry a S&W 500 as ccw.




I might be old fashioned but six shooters, please :tool:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

A cowboy with a Glock? Talk about awkward.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

hieronymus said:


> Wow...a quick search on the Internet suggests that causes of ALS are unknown and that heredity explains only 5-10% of cases. Sounds like the Dad in this case acted rashly and may have ruined the life of his first wife. Perhaps she was a cheater, but just because your friend had ALS is not proof of her infidelity. Quite sad on many levels.


Whether ALS is hereditary was not that important in this case, it was merely the reason for getting the DNA test. What is important is that the DNA test showed the BH was not the father, and therefore a cheater.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

You raise a child for 13 years and then you come to know you aren't the father. I can't even start imagining how much it would hurt.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> A cowboy with a Glock? Talk about awkward.


Awkward, no, practical, hell yeah!!!

I really want a .50cal Dessert Eagle but, well, wife thinks that 1 hand gun is enough and that I do not need a pocket cannon.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

wranglerman said:


> I have a half brother from the girl who used to baby sit me and my sister when my folks went out, she was 16 when my father was having his way with her, I found out 7yrs ago when I was back in my home town on business and walked into a lamp post as the guy walking towards me was almost a twined image of me in every way, after picking myself up off the sidewalk he was gone but I saw my older brother that day and asked him if he'd seen a guy round town who looked just like me? Then it came out, got another two half sisters and another half brother somewhere too, apparently my father liked to put it about
> 
> Also found out that after their D my mother was the OW in an affair with a guy from across town, she knew it too, how the hell I have managed to keep a reasonably level head in life is beyond me


wow, is good that you don't live in your home town, that kind of enviorement can not be healthy.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

wranglerman said:


> I was deeply scarred by my first Ws betrayal and more so from the way in which it was revealed and exposed to me


If I am not mistaken you had revenge on her with her sisters (hope I am not mistaken users), that will probably chase her forever, after all you don't have to see her anymore but she have to see her sisters again (her finding must have been priceless).

so probably that helped you as coping mechanism.


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## SteveK (Mar 15, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Real sorry to hear. I lost a friend to suicide after his wife cheated. Not cheery but misery and company you know.
> 
> There are some damn good people out there as well as scumbags. It just seems the scumbags get more press for the lives they destroy.


My wife did nothing but belittle a woman at our gym who's husband a well respected teacher in our district committed suicide after her multiple affairs.

Then she justified her own!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

wranglerman said:


> Awkward, no, practical, hell yeah!!!
> 
> I really want a .50cal Dessert Eagle but, well, wife thinks that 1 hand gun is enough and that I do not need a pocket cannon.


Off Topic:

Not much use as a self defense weapon. Too powerful and will just go straight through the person.....and through 5 other houses after that. Not easily concealable either, its huge...fully a foot long.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Off Topic:
> 
> Not much use as a self defense weapon. Too powerful and will just go straight through the person.....and through 5 other houses after that. Not easily concealable either, its huge...fully a foot long.


And try not flinching when you shoot it.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

*Re: Re: Memories best forgotten*



WhiteRaven said:


> It's heart breaking, gut wrenching to watch someone go through the stages of ALS. Your prayers change from healthy recovery to painless death.
> 
> I can't even think where you find the strength to go through it over and over and over again.


That's what makes it interesting...yes it is the most difficult thing I've done in my entire life is witness the death of another sentient, living, feeling being...over and over.

It changes you but it is how you chose to let it change you. For me, they have left their mark on my soul. Actually, they have helped me find another piece of my soul I didn't even know I'd lost in the first place.

Each and every person I've come in contact with being a healthcare provider has helped me find a piece of myself in them. In their tears, theirs fears, regrets, fond memories, family interactions, love of each other, bickerings and joking around.

The little things and little joys I've taken for granted in life they have taught me to stop and enjoy just a little more sweetly. Everyone of them have given me back a little piece of me I had forgotten about. That is their legacy. To teach us, the ones still here, to appreciate ourselves and each other because there is less time to do so than we think there is.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I have IMMENSE respect for hospice workers. So far, every time I've had to be involved with them they've been so wonderful. I have such gratitude that they are able to do what they do, and keep on doing it.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Wranglerm and WhiteRaven,

I wonder if you could visit this thread to talk about handguns and suicide?

I posted your thoughts, hope you don't mind.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Man, i don't want to admit this but for a split second I thought I was going to tear up. I mean that. That was just damn hard to read.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Happy bday Keith. Wish you were here to celebrate your 31st bday.


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

WhiteRaven said:


> Good men don't commit suicide. It's a coward's way out.


This is untrue.

Everyone is not created equal. And that means emotionally. The world is cruel and always has been but it's getting worse emotionally. Sometimes a person can break or become chemically imbalanced and lose sight of reality. It can change how a person can cope or survive everyday events. It is not always about cowardice. And it's not about being a "good man". These are things people say to make themselves feel better.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

dogman said:


> This is untrue.
> 
> Everyone is not created equal. And that means emotionally. The world is cruel and always has been but it's getting worse emotionally. Sometimes a person can break or become chemically imbalanced and lose sight of reality. It can change how a person can cope or survive everyday events. It is not always about cowardice. And it's not about being a "good man". These are things people say to make themselves feel better.


I agree. My ideas about suicide are narrowminded.


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