# Re-post. Not sure which forum this belongs in?? HELP!!



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

The manic phase of Bipolar I Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).Bipolar patients in the manic phase exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of pathological narcissism - hyperactivity, self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and control freakery. During this recurring chapter of the disease, the patient is euphoric, has grandiose fantasies, spins unrealistic schemes, and has frequent rage attacks (is irritable) if her or his wishes and plans are (inevitably) frustrated.
The manic phases of the bipolar disorder, however, are limited in time - NPD is not. Furthermore, the mania is followed by - usually protracted - depressive episodes. The narcissist is also frequently dysphoric. But whereas the bipolar sinks into deep self-deprecation, self-devaluation, unbounded pessimism, all-pervasive guilt and anhedonia - the narcissist, even when depressed, never forgoes his narcissism: his grandiosity, sense of entitlement, haughtiness, and lack of empathy.
Narcissistic dysphorias are much shorter and reactive - they constitute a response to the Grandiosity Gap. In plain words, the narcissist is dejected when confronted with the abyss between his inflated self-image and grandiose fantasies - and the drab reality of his life: his failures, lack of accomplishments, disintegrating interpersonal relationships, and low status. Yet, one dose of Narcissistic Supply is enough to elevate the narcissists from the depth of misery to the heights of manic euphoria.
Not so with the bipolar. The source of her or his mood swings is assumed to be brain biochemistry - not the availability of Narcissistic Supply. Whereas the narcissist is in full control of his faculties, even when maximally agitated, the bipolar often feels that s/he has lost control of his/her brain ("flight of ideas"), his/her speech, his/her attention span (distractibility), and his/her motor functions.
The bipolar is prone to reckless behaviors and substance abuse only during the manic phase. The narcissist does drugs, drinks, gambles, shops on credit, indulges in unsafe sex or in other compulsive behaviors both when elated and when deflated.
As a rule, the bipolar's manic phase interferes with his/her social and occupational functioning. Many narcissists, in contrast, reach the highest rungs of their community, church, firm, or voluntary organization. Most of the time, they function flawlessly - though the inevitable blowups and the grating extortion of Narcissistic Supply usually put an end to the narcissist's career and social liaisons.
The manic phase of bipolar sometimes requires hospitalization and - more frequently than admitted - involves psychotic features. Narcissists are never hospitalized as the risk for self-harm is minute. Moreover, psychotic microepisodes in narcissism are decompensatory in nature and appear only under unendurable stress (e.g., in intensive therapy).
The bipolar's mania provokes discomfort in both strangers and in the patient's nearest and dearest. His/her constant cheer and compulsive insistence on interpersonal, sexual, and occupational, or professional interactions engenders unease and repulsion. Her/his lability of mood - rapid shifts between uncontrollable rage and unnatural good spirits - is downright intimidating. The narcissist's gregariousness, by comparison, is calculated, "cold", controlled, and goal-orientated (the extraction of Narcissistic Supply). His cycles of mood and affect are far less pronounced and less rapid.
The bipolar's swollen self-esteem, overstated self-confidence, obvious grandiosity, and delusional fantasies are akin to the narcissist's and are the source of the diagnostic confusion. Both types of patients purport to give advice, carry out an assignment, accomplish a mission, or embark on an enterprise for which they are uniquely unqualified and lack the talents, skills, knowledge, or experience required.
But the bipolar's bombast is far more delusional than the narcissist's. Ideas of reference and magical thinking are common and, in this sense, the bipolar is closer to the schizotypal than to the narcissistic.
There are other differentiating symptoms:
Sleep disorders - notably acute insomnia - are common in the manic phase of bipolar and uncommon in narcissism. So is "manic speech" - pressured, uninterruptible, loud, rapid, dramatic (includes singing and humorous asides), sometimes incomprehensible, incoherent, chaotic, and lasts for hours. It reflects the bipolar's inner turmoil and his/her inability to control his/her racing and kaleidoscopic thoughts.
As opposed to narcissists, bipolar in the manic phase are often distracted by the slightest stimuli, are unable to focus on relevant data, or to maintain the thread of conversation. They are "all over the place" - simultaneously initiating numerous business ventures, joining a myriad organization, writing umpteen letters, contacting hundreds of friends and perfect strangers, acting in a domineering, demanding, and intrusive manner, totally disregarding the needs and emotions of the unfortunate recipients of their unwanted attentions. They rarely follow up on their projects.
The transformation is so marked that the bipolar is often described by his/her closest as "not himself/herself". Indeed, some bipolars relocate, change name and appearance, and lose contact with their "former life". Antisocial or even criminal behavior is not uncommon and aggression is marked, directed at both others (assault) and oneself (suicide). Some biploars describe an acuteness of the senses, akin to experiences recounted by drug users: smells, sounds, and sights are accentuated and attain an unearthly quality.
As opposed to narcissists, bipolars regret their misdeeds following the manic phase and try to atone for their actions. They realize and accept that "something is wrong with them" and seek help. During the depressive phase they are ego-dystonic and their defenses are autoplastic (they blame themselves for their defeats, failures, and mishaps).
Finally, pathological narcissism is already discernible in early adolescence. The full-fledged bipolar disorder - including a manic phase - rarely occurs before the age of 20. (Now I kn0w why I didnt see these in the earlier years)The narcissist is consistent in his pathology - not so the bipolar. The onset of the manic episode is fast and furious and results in a conspicuous metamorphosis of the patient.
bipolar disorder is the classic manic disease
Manic patients are frequently grandiose, irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong with them. Because mania frequently encourages high energy and decreased perception of need or ability to sleep, within a few days of a manic cycle, sleep-deprived psychosis may appear, further complicating the ability to think clearly. Racing thoughts and misperceptions lead to frustration and decreased ability to communicate with others.


Quote:
Sex drive is abnormally heightened leading to loss of inhibitions and participation in sexual activity that is unusual. 

Infidelity!!! the euphoric state is short lived and the mania quickly becomes very unpleasant. Their energy level is boosted to the point where they feel pressured, driven, and in a very uncomfortable state of mind. They can become quite irritable, enraged at the smallest perceived slight.. And this is what I have been --given the rath from him--, I am the one who seemly is the one who 'Slights' him. I guess I had stood in his way of his 'fix' with the OP.. 
Other manic symptoms include irritability, hyper-sexuality, Infidelity occurs..hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, talkativeness, and grandiose ideas and plans. In manic and less severe hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out of character behavior such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky sexual activity or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors. These behaviors increase stress in personal relationships, problems at work and increases the risk of altercations with law enforcement as well as being at high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.

Additional possible symptoms of mania include elation, extreme optimism, rapid unstoppable flow of speech, racing thoughts/flights of ideas, agitation, poor judgment, recklessness, inordinate capacity for activity, tendency to be easily distracted, inability to concentrate, exuberant and flamboyant or colorful dress, authoritative manner, and tendency to believe they are in their best mental state.

Becoming hyper religious is actually very common with people who have bipolar disorder. And this is the new twist I have refered to in my previous updates. My Ws has turned to religion, and not just a spirtual guidance, Bi-polar sufferers always go to extremes, whatever they do



In a religious context,. My WS has became quite spiritual in a sort of pantheistic 'i am at one with the holiness of everything' sort of way- which is so unlike the normal, as far as seeking spirtuality goes. This is something he is obssessing about 24/7,praying and read the Bible, I do support, I am a beleiver myself. But he has taken way beyond anything I have ever witnessed before. He talks about, scriputures, watches relgious programming, reads scriptures, prays, and preachers day and night. He has strarted setting rules up for us in our home, Like how we can talk or speak to him, or anything for that matter. He doenst want me to talk with him about anything in life, unless it is about the lord, scriptures or prayers.. there is so much more he does but I have given you all a pretty cleart pitcture. 


The thing is, I still have to deal with all the other issuse that are associated with the bi-polar.. Like irritable, belligerent, and frequently deny anything is wrong , yet he screams over the SLIGHTEST thing that is not at PERFECTION in his life, like say the mail ran late, or there was an issue with the satelight,(storm knocked it out for a very short time) ANY AND EVERYTHING, tiny or large problem is so BIG to him, like the world just blew up.. Well he sure BLOWS up.. He still does the old, its me crap. Its like He wants his "world" perfect, but yet I cant talk to him about anything in the "world" if I try, well the angier and acusations is so mind numbing, I just dont even try. I gave up, I take care of everthing myself, but then again he turns that around to. (I am trying to take over everything) it doesnt matter that man can turn anything around to make it out to either be about him, or an attack against him.. 

A person may hold exaggerated notions about his or her ability, influence or lineage. When religion enters the picture, the person may exhibit tremendous guilt over what he or she perceives to be sins he or she has committed against God And this is one of the reasons it has occured AFTER the AFFAIR. Yeah so, basically the bpd lead into the affair, now the affair has lead into daily hyper religiousness! Any yet, still feel like egg shells would be an softer ground to walk on then what I am walking on now..


Religion is also mentioned in relationship to OCD in a
slightly different way. Scrupulosity is a term that is often used to indicate religious symptoms in OCD, Which my WS has been diognoised with OCD aswell. Soguess what, yep the Obbsesivness is the Cherry on top of the whole issue.. retreating for hours at a time, committing to word-for-word memory and note taking Bible verses, withdrawl and Obsesse over the lords words, and teaching... NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO INTERUPT HIM.. that will bounce him back into some of the traits listed above..




Bipolar disorder, and mania, often strikes people who are charming, creative and charismatic.When their behavior becomes outrageous...they have run up thousands of dollars in debts and put the family on the verge of, or into bankruptcyor when their sexual indiscretions become too obvious to ignore....the impact on relationships is enormous. Separation and divorce is common. Even the most understanding partner has problems understanding the illness and the symptoms are seen and felt as a personal attack. 


So here is all the updates for me, and the twists I was not prepared for. Im kinda at a loss now. I just dont think I can handle much more..


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

So I'm not sure what the point of cutting and pasting essays about bipolar disorder was. If you had more information about your husband and relationship sprinkled on there, I completely missed it. 

But the answer is simple. You don't have to put up with one more minute of HIS illness than you want to. He's sick and he's making no attempt whatsoever to get well. You're not "supporting" him, you're enabling him. It's no different than an alcoholic. 

Bipolar, schizophrenic, narcissistic, borderline, or just a jerk.....we're all responsible for our behavior, managing our illness and making amends when we've done wrong. Is he doing any of that???


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

COGypsy said:


> > So I'm not sure what the point of cutting and pasting essays about bipolar disorder was. If you had more information about your husband and relationship sprinkled on there, I completely missed it.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, there was, I tried to highlight the points or make a comment to reflect How or what I am going thru with him. Sorry if it wasnt clear enough.


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

And I dont know what to do. Thats why I posted in the forum. Because I was trying to locate help. And I thought that posting the information about it and how it is "tied" to what is going on, with in our lives it would be helpful. Guess not. 

So I guess the next best thing would be that since I posted the information, and you kinda get the hint of my attempt to seek advice on what is happening, well maybe I should just answer question that anyone of you may have and then you will be able to get a better understanding of it all. Since I am pretty sure you all have the question that should be answered in order to give me a littel advice or better understanding of what to do or what is really happening. 

So I guess it is the only thing I know to do.. Ask, Ill answer. Does this sound like it will be a better way??


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## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Shall I delet the post then, since it wasnt helpful?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Maybe you can bold your own remarks to delineate them better.


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