# What happens next



## jkjkjkjk (Jan 31, 2021)

Hi family, I’m new on the forum, unfortunately my wife of 12 years stopped loving me and filed for divorce, we are almost at the end and 5 days ago announced she has been in a serious relationship for the past 6 months, i has completely rocked me and I feel like I’m back at sq 1 , has anyone been there , 

please help, I have constant knots in my stomach and am completely off food


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## CrazyCatz (Jan 19, 2021)

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I haven't been in the same situation as you, but I certainly can relate to having constant knots in my stomach. It's a most remarkably uncomfortable feeling, both physically and emotionally to know that what you once thought was a solid relationship is gone.


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## LonelyHiker (Dec 15, 2020)

jkjkjkjk said:


> Hi family, I’m new on the forum, unfortunately my wife of 12 years stopped loving me and filed for divorce, we are almost at the end and 5 days ago announced she has been in a serious relationship for the past 6 months, i has completely rocked me and I feel like I’m back at sq 1 , has anyone been there ,
> 
> please help, I have constant knots in my stomach and am completely off food


I am only 3 weeks into getting notified by my wife that she wants a divorce. 
She started texting another man about 3 months ago and claimed he was just a friend. It turned into an emotional affair and she's using that "security net" to give her the courage to go thru with the D. She texts him all the time so I know the feeling your talking about.

I will say this; knowing someone else in the picture just eats at you; but you need to understand, you WILL BE OK. 
The pain, fear, anxiety you are feeling will pass. It will come in waves, one day you will be ok.. and all of a sudden it hits you. But you have to remember and tell yourself, you will get thru this. Try not to dwell on it. You have to distract your mind with other things. Hopefully you started the 180 and started to find out who you are as a person. Throw yourself into your interest or hobbies. Make new friends, find support groups (like this forum).

Reach out to his community, journal what you are feeling; see a counselor, call a friend (or multiple friends).

But know, almost everyone on here has gone thru the stomach knots and feeling sick all the time. You have to move, you have to keep busy and you have to try to get some food down even when you don't think you can.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

It’s a shock that you never expected. All cheaters lie a a lot. Shes probably been cheating longer than that and it’s a sexual affair. Most who come here live in denial. They want to believe it’s only an EA because they can’t handle,the truth so they lie to themselves. Cheaters all follow the same basic script. Lie, hide and deny.

You need to understand that she’s nothing special. Just another cheater.

Let her go completely. Look up, read follow the 180 no contact guide. Nerver beg, plead and cry for her. She isn’t worth it. Do on do the infamous pick me dance. That just makes you look weak and lowers your status even more.

It might help if you download and read “No More Mr Nice Guy“ by glover. It’s a free pdf a d short.

Like most she‘ll want to be friends. Thats all for her not you. it helps them alleviate guilt. Definition of friend is loyal, homes and trustworthy.

The only one that can keep you in limbo hell is you. No contact is your best friend.


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