# There's MOSTLY always AG



## jimmmy (Dec 30, 2011)

Reading a lot of the stories of husbands wondering if there's Another Guy involved, I can relate my own experience. My girlfriend and I had been together for 17 years, two great children and my gilfriend being truly my soul mate for most of that time. She often remarked to me when hearing of other couples around us splitting up, "how could that happen" or we' ll never end up like that.Well to cut it short, about a year ago she started to spend much more time on her laptop especially Facebook...8 months ago after having a little argument, she came home late and said, "it's over". I tried everything you shouldn't to make her change her mind...to no avail....We always had a kind of pact between us that whatever happened we would never cheat on each other..this was always in my mind, whenever there was any chance of this happening, it always guided me not to get involved in spite of us, like everyone else, having bad moments in our 17 years together. Seeing her acting like a teenager especially towards our daughter made me confront her about seeing/having another guy....this she denied asking how could I ever imagine her breaking our 'sacred' pact together or how she could destroy our family....Well it was our daughter who dicovered the hidden truth on Facebook...you can imagine what that did to her....and now after 9 months my EX has moved out to her mother's place and is currently looking for a place of her own, her attitude is children just have to accept things just as she accepted the same thing from her own father who one day without warning abandoned his family....I'm trying to take care of the children as much as I can, I've got another job (that's three in total as our appt isn't cheap, bills etc) MAN UP in every way, I'm starting to feel better about life especially when I can see a lot of people much worse off than me.I wanted us to give it as much as it took and I was prepared to compromise on a lot but all I got was the "I love you but ....line. By the way we meet sometimes and actually get on well now, but it was very hard for about 7 months,she seems to be over the initial euphoria of the new-guy syndrome the grass is greener.....So I hate to say it but when women decide they want more space or time to think over whatever it's generally because they have aleady moved on in their heads and nothing except destiny or they find themselved in the S*** will make them come back...I'm still struggling to get over this..and I will...I'd be interested to hear what anyone thinks ,thanx JIMMMY


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

This isn't gender-specific. 

A lot of times when the dude wants out, he's got someone lined up to. 

Sorry to hear what happened. I know you are hurting now but one day you will see she did you a favor. It's much better to be single than to be in a relationship where you continue getting cheated on and someone stays for financial/convenient reasons instead of because they love you and are committed to the relationship.

Nobody ever starts a relationship out thinking cheating will occur later down the line or commits to a relationship thinking one day it will end.


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## 38m3kids (Sep 29, 2011)

Short story... Perfect marriage... " I will never cheat". "Can you believe they broke up"... All the same ****. Wife comes home from a week away at conference and starts acting weird. I find out she is texting this new "friend". She decides she needs space. Boom.. AG. Yes i Agree. Unless the woman is being mistreated... if she "needs space", there is a 99% she is cheating. IMO. Sorry dude. It sucks! Welcome to the club none of us wanted to join.


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## jimmmy (Dec 30, 2011)

Yeah I agree, but what I don't get is the 180 personality change.it's like they change into a NEW person at will....Of course guys do the same I never said only women do this kind of thing...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yes. It's like their bodies get invaded by aliens.

The woman you loved... is long gone.

Accept this and move on.


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## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

I am having the same problem with my stbxh, he and I were soulmates, never cheat, said if there was a problem we would discuss it first. Well here I am with him having an affair and moving on with OW. Total personality switch, he was caring and warm before now he is so cold, he doesn't care that he is flaunting her infront of my daughter and I, he is moving on, going to Vegas together and this life is over. Do they ever snap out of it or do they stay *******s forever?


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## theniceguyy (Dec 16, 2011)

I agree with all of the above. I'm in the same situation- My STBX was in 1 EA (possibly PA) 3yrs ago. Worked it out (so I though). She reconnects with a "old friend" this past June and that turned in to a EA. Her having a toxic friend did not help our situation either.

-She not the same person.
-The sooner you get out the better.
-Your ultimately better off not being with a lair.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

I have read about this as well. In my case, my wife moved to her parents today. January 1st marks what would have been our 7th wedding anniversary and my first day as a separated man. What a way to start 2012. My stbxw swears there is no one else, that she is simply unhappy, loved me but is not in love, AND that she is not sure she's ever been in love with me, married me for the right reasons, etc. 

There is no evidence of anyone else but I wonder if there is and I will find out soon. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. I keep hearing "it gets better", and all I can do is hope they're right. What a rough past three weeks.

When I'm ready, I hope to find an emotionally mature woman and start a new chapter in my life with someone who truly loves and appreciates me for me. I tell ya... my stbxw deserves an Oscar. What a performance the last 7 years have been.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

So much truth in the alien taking them over comment. I do not recoginize her anymore. Once loving and caring to cold and calculated. 

If she can't return to her former self, I pray I can find someone who has a mature and loving heart.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Maybe it will be like the movie "Close Incounters of the 3rd Kind" and all these waywards will some day come walking out of some space ship.


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