# Scared to let go of a man that wants freedom...



## Tonyaap20 (Jan 13, 2010)

So this is how it goes I need some serious advice... I can't ask my family about any of it because it just causes problems. I am mother of a 2 year old child... and I have my fiance (my daughter's daddy). I have been with him since I was 15 years old with no break ups, and he just recently asked me to marry him about a month ago. It does not seem like I have any problems right?

Well First, after I had my daughter I gained weight and he started telling me how unattracted he was to me, and that I needed to do something about. This was something that has been going on for the past two years, he is always refusing sex and pushes me away because of my "weight"... 
I lost some weight about two months ago, not a whole just enough for my clothes to get loose, and then he was like a totally different person. He proposed to me and bought me a ring. I was happy because he treated me with an utmost respect and made me feel like he really needed me. Then I got stressed a bit, and put on a tad. He is back to that same old person however, he now criticizes me for different things. 
I try to be close to him, and be with him and there are times where he acts like I am the last person he wants to be around. Then he told me the other day that he "sometimes" thinks that we are only holding together because of our daughter. He said that he feels trapped. I have no idea how I trap him, he fishes almost every weekend, and he has his own money. I take care of the house and our daughter and clean up after him. All he does is go to work, watch tv, tell me how bad I am, and then goes fishing whether we have money for groceries or not he's "broke", but then somehow he spends out $200 on a fishing tournament that he loses every single time. I work and I go to school, his nanny is my daughters babysitter, and they get mad if I dont take her over there every week. Is this how a marriage is suppose to be? All I want is a man who will love me conditionally, not just half the time, and one who thinks family comes first. I don't know what to do, he has killed my confidence, and pushed all my other relationships away. He is all that I have, and I guess I am just scared of being alone. 

:/ Please respond.


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

If his affection for you is dependent on what you weigh, then it's not real love. Yes, physical attraction is important, but when you really love someone, you can see past physical imperfections. I am separated from my husband and I too was desperately afraid to be alone, but after just a week of him being gone I am feeling stronger and more confident. I have 2 kids, and it's a struggle doing it all by myself, but I'm doing it. He is still seeing them every day, he's just not living here. No one can tell you what to do with your relationship, but I can tell you that his attitude toward you is not normal, and that you deserve better. If you decide to end it I think you should tell him everything you said in your post. The way he responds will tell you what you should do. Good luck to you.


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## Alexsky (Mar 21, 2010)

I would suggest seeing a counseller. From what i have heard, he is acting very selfish. He needs to check his priorities. He should not act the way he did about your weight. Like it was mentioned before, if you are in love, you look past minor surface imperfections. I agree with talking to him. I relationship will not work unless there is total openness.


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