# Told Legal Secretary wife Filed, but sleeping in same bed. She said thats a first



## larky (Nov 27, 2009)

Canadian law stipulated that when a woman or man file for divorce, they have to be separated for one year. Well, we are still together sleeping in the same bed. We do not get into arguments as we used to. We have been going to counseling and I got lackadisical about doing the work project papers in getting the relationship to work. Whats more, when she did file, she lied to the attorney and states we have been separated since 2011 which is not true. We been living together since 2001. She said you need to sit her down and talk to her. Because if I file a counter claim, I can include spousal support because I make so much less then she does. 

The wife has been a bit of a bully at times and controlling. She has had mood swings in the past once smaking me in the back of the head for cleaning the blueberries wrong, which is correct to float them in water. She does try her best to make people like her and some times, goes over board by volinteering for functions at church or running for secretary for our co-op. But inside the home, it has been a different story. I think she is a anxiety driven woman who gets mad if something is not done right. A example would be "dishes are not stacked right in the dishwasher" She would restack the dishes again and get angry. I would tell her not to cover the center jet tube with the dishes and ignored me.

She has a absolute fear of mice and insects. Once freaked out when I showed her a big earthworm. She HATES being embarrassed and HATES not being in control. Those were two things she murmured under her breath early in our marriage. Once she said in a shaken voice " I don't think I would make a good mother because I am to impatient". I never forgot that comment. I had to write a Diary online because of the many troubles we had. 

Me, I do not have the same anxieties as she has had and mabey, that is partly my fault. She cannot stand having anyone over at our place unless she knows first. If a inpector comes to do a 5 min check to test the smoke detectors, she wants the entire house clean and that can take a few hours. she is a bit of a slob with all her crap stacked on love seats, the kitchen table, her desk, her dresser. She has committed "Finacial Infidelity" not telling me some pricy items she was going to purchace. When I was not working and both of us in debt, I was with her telling her to not buy the new car at the dealership. Dealership Sales rep took a look at her credit and said WOW you have alot of debt...but if you want the car.... 

Anyway, What kind of issues does she have? is credit cars the new drug of choice in these ages? a person who has anxiety issues is more then likely to go into debt? She has not helped me out financially to get a head with my education. The Bishop said "both couples need to help each other out with education its a partnership" I agree. If I got that great job after graduating, I would pay off her bills....as long as she surrendered the credit cards. 

Any professional comments what I need to do to help her change her mind, give up the cards and have me to help her more financially? I am getting more work as a self employed field technician. 

We have no kids and because of the debt situation, probably never will we are in our mid to late 40s.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Do you feel that she can compromise about some things? 

How did you react to being hit in the head? 

How out of control is her credit card spending? 

Have you tried MC ?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Do you still have sex?

Have you discussed not having children?

How do you get along with each other's families?


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