# Should sex wait till marriage?



## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

Should it? im getting over my first love, she was my first, and i feel as though i should have waited. To me, it is special. But i know my future wife (most probably) will have many which disgusts me. Most of my women friends have 10+ ... so i know even if i wait most likely she wont. And i know not to ask so thats out of the question but should i stop? I am only at 2 but if you could change your past would you? even if you S.O. had many partners?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's up to the individuals in a relationship to decide whether to wait or not. 

Personally I don't believe in "waiting til marriage" and these days I dont really see the point in marriage (for me) so these rules don't apply to me at all. 

Whether you feel you should have waited or not--you didn't. So you can't go back, can't change the past, you don't get a do-over. What's done is done. So what you need to do is more forward with that knowledge and since for you sex is special, don't hand it out like candy at a mall shop. 

As far as feeling "disgust" for your future wife--you need to axe that problem now. Everyone has a past. That is the way of life. If you are expecting all women to be virginal chaste beings, you are in the wrong and in for a big surprise in your life. Also, I am sensing that you have great expectations for women in your post, like you think they should be chaste, etc and only have one partner which is nice and romantic but isn't the way life usually is. 
You may want to come to terms with that.

If I could change my past, would I? Hmm...there are definitely some people I dated that I shouldn't have given the time of day to but as far as the people I have loved that Islept with --no. I wouldn't change it. You learn from it. And then you move on. 

Such is life.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

well said jellybeans.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

1-12-t1 said:


> Should it? im getting over my first love, she was my first, and i feel as though i should have waited. To me, it is special. But i know my future wife (most probably) will have many which disgusts me. Most of my women friends have 10+ ... so i know even if i wait most likely she wont. And i know not to ask so thats out of the question but should i stop? I am only at 2 but if you could change your past would you? even if you S.O. had many partners?


I believe that partners in an LTR for sure should be having sex before marriage. Marrying a woman with 10+ partners is a false choice. Without playing the numbers game suffice it to say that age matters. There is a difference between a woman at 20 having 10+ partners and a woman at 30 having 10+ partners.

As I have stated before it would mostly matter the types of relationships that the woman had. If she had some reasonable number of committed relationships and she was not cheating then that says one thing. If she had three partners and cheated on two of them then that is a problem. If she had 50 ONSs then that speaks for itself.

I think both available virgins are spoken for so you need to evaluate accordingly.

By the time one actually takes their formal vows they are already in an LTR with commitment. That is why I think sexually oriented, last night of freedom parties before the wedding are stupid. You are not single any more. Sex is so big a part of marriage that waiting until then seems less than optimal and very risky.

Do not let anyone change how you feel about your criteria for a future wife. There are many things to weigh and assess. Sexual history and compatibility are very important. Folks want to justify to you why they slept with this number or that and feel put down if you are looking for someone with less experience. It is not anyone elses business. You are free to choose a wife using any and all reasons that mean something to you. Watever they are. This has nothing to do with insecurity. It has to do with quality of a future life partner. Do not settle for anyone less. I would only say do this holistically. Look at the whole person. If a women lies to you about her history, or refuses to tell it it to you then move on. She is not truly comfortable with herself. I am not talking about sexual details but again the type of the relationship. And for me I would wnat to know specifically who. Yes their name and what their relationship was. i.e. was he her boss yadda yadda. Was he married? If she cannot list the names for any reason that is a big red flag as well.

I sowed enough wild seeds to be ready to settle down with my wife of 33 years. I was looking for something more and was fortunate to find her. Just be careful about party girls. They are loads of fun before commitment, but if they intend to keep on partying the same single way after marriage then you could have some real trouble. All I am saying is work this stuff out ahead of time. Do the His Needs Her Needs before marriage. Define your boundaries. Then revisit them periodically in your marriage. They will evolve. While people can and do change, do not count on it. Don't marry someone who needs fixing. Also make sure you guys are clear on opposite sex friend boundaries. 

IMHO, I think that having close opposite sex friends is too risky. What close means is somewhat gray but they should not be going out on dates together for sure. They should not be discussing your marriage. Colleagues and casual fiends are one thing. Close friends are a whole other deal. One advantage of marrying a woman, with a limited number of ex lovers is that you then have fewer ex lovers to be concerned about. Because ALL ex lovers are a permanent issue for you. EXs like this should be NC. Just my opinion. If she is too close to EXs, you don;t want any part of that.

Also realize there are no garantees. You can marry someone who is in your estimation perfect in everyway. Then you have a couple of kids and then they decide they missed out in their earlier life and now what to check their options. They want to experience the party scene. All osrts of reasons for that of course. All you can really do is be in the moment and fully engaged in yopur marriage. Do your part but do not become a Nice Guy. Be a good guy with a healthy balance of Alpha / Beta.

My personal priorities in the role I try to play with my wife:

1) Her Lover,
2) Her best male friend
3) Her husband

After reading Athol's book and being on TAM, I have come to the above priorities. One does not want to become a confortable friend of ones wife for they risk the wife become bored with them.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The fact that the soon to be love of your life has had quite a few sex partners disgusts you? You need a different love of your life.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> The fact that the soon to be love of your life has had quite a few sex partners disgusts you? You need a different love of your life.


He is guessing that his choice of a wife will have so many previous partners he will be discusted. He is not talking about an actual real person. So he is projecting that he has no choice. Sigh. He is making problems for himself. How about you find someone first and then deal with them as a whole person. If they discust you find another. He is beating himself up for no reason.

He needs to think positively, go have some fun and enjoy life. Not worry about marriage.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think you are holding the act of sex up as a prize to be won and worshiped

and in some ways that is true

but so are many other things in a relationship- first kiss, first time you say I love you, first time you laugh together, first time you you support each other in a trying time, etc

so why does sex have to be more special?

if it's for religious reasons then I will end it here as I can't argue against faith but morally it's fine for people to explore and please themselves and others in relationships whether they are short lived or long term, it's up to each person as to how they pursue that and to deny yourself the possible love of your life because she slept with 10 men previous is absurd


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't believe in waiting until marriage to have sex. I do however believe in waiting until I'm in a committed relationship first. Would I change my past if I could? No I have no reason to. Neither me nor my husband had many partners prior to each other. We met at age 23.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Some of my issues with this topic are around pregnancy. The absolute only way to prevent a pregnancy is abstinence. I believe that children need to be raised by a father and a mother who are married to each other and are regularly working on improving and strengthening their marriage. Sometimes a man and woman will get married because they are pregnant and want to raise their child together. Getting married because you "have to" is not a good foundation for a marriage or family. Avoiding a pregnancy is one reason to delay sex until after marriage.

I also think it is important to build a foundation of friendship in a marriage. If sex comes to early in the relationship, it can be difficult to form that friendship because the relationship is based on passion and sex. The level of passion and sex will eventually be lower as the marriage progresses and the friendship and dedication to each other will remain the most important aspect of the relationship.

I know that I am in the minority, but these are my thoughts.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

It takes a lot of commitment and self-control to wait. I think it's honorable and probably preferable. However, if you meet someone who did not and you love them then you have to get beyond it. That said, do I think people should wait? Yes. I think it's a powerful thing to bring to a marriage. And yes, there are still virgins out there and people willing to wait.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

sprinter said:


> It takes a lot of commitment and self-control to wait. I think it's honorable and probably preferable. However, if you meet someone who did not and you love them then you have to get beyond it. That said, do I think people should wait? Yes. I think it's a powerful thing to bring to a marriage. And yes, there are still virgins out there and people willing to wait.


Me & my husband waited, my oldest son is waiting, he is 20. My 2nd son swears he will too, but he is much "freer" & outgoing with the girls than my 1st son was at that age -so we'll see how that plays out. He wears his silver ring proudly. 

I accually know alot of upper teen girls waiting till marraige, they are all heavily involved in Youth Groups /tight groups of friends and take these things VERY seriously. (Maybe even too much - I do think of the term "worship" here). 

I will admit there is a very special bond, me & my husband feel, him knowing no one has been with me, me knowing no other woman has had him, exclusively each others forever and only. We hold it very dear. And No Exs to contend with either, always a +++. 

I think waiting is very commendable, if young people can hold out - from intercourse. BUT, speaking from my own life experience in my youth, me & him would have went stark raving mad if we couldn't "touch" each other, so we still had some form of hanky panky but not fused together in intercourse. That was MY boundary.... I grew up witnessing too many friends, my own mother getting hurt from casual sex, I was also very stubborn, and in a way I worshiped this ideal also. I also wanted a virgin, and found it in my husband. He was the type who would never "use" a woman for his own pleasure. Loved him for that. 

I remember when 1st getting to know each other, thinking to myself "OH my GOD, how in the world are we going to wait !!???", I was not sure I could do it no matter what I wanted, the arousal was SOOO very strong. But we managed -only because we had "other ways". FOR YEARS. Pregnancy was always a concern, and also my beliefs. The beliefs was a double edged sword for me personally. I felt everything we did was Dirty, that we were not PURE before God. These things followed me into marraige to more of a degree than should have ever been. Those things I wish I could take back. 

I was not comfortable with my own sexuality, I was loving it but very ashamed of it at the same time. THIS IS often a problem with Virgins. Especially if they are higher drive , it will war on their minds -even more so. I believe I have always been high drive, but I was repressed for many years. 

If they are lower drive, they are more CALM about it, probably don't masterbate, or have many impure thoughts, which lessons the battle field in their heads. 

Men need to be very careful in selecting a mate, whether Virgin or not- if SEX is important for him. I have heard too many stories of men who married virgins and suffered severly after the wedding -then he learns she doesn't even like sex ! One husband was told after she didn't care if she ever had it again. IN that case, it was severe repression" after they stopped having intercouse for a few years, the passion never returned, he was going out of his mind 6 months into the marriage -cause his wife had zero desire towards him, anything sexual. Very very sad. 


I strongly feel young people who are reaching for commitment/ marraige -should be exploring some, they NEED to KNOW & feel the others sex drive, they both should know they can easily turn each other on and get the other to orgasm, at the very least. They shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to openly talk about if they masterbate or not. Me & mine always played -but always in the dark & we were both too inhibited to talk openly about these things. We did some things I don't regret (the waiting) but other things I MUCH regret -not getting & committing myself to a thorough sexual education in my youth so I would have been a better wife & lover. 

This is the only thing I would tell men. If you have a strong sex drive (which MOST guys do) and waiting is "EASY" for your woman, if she never masterbated, doesn't crave you like mad, these things should serioulsy concern you. 

I see 2 extremes ..... I feel the Church is TOO strict on these matters of purity, after all God gave some of us an intense sex drive, it is a blessing! But we have made it a curse by putting our flesh down & feeling all expression is sin, even in our youth, being taught we can somehow turn a switch once we have a wedding certificate in our hands, it just doesn't work that way............ But then without some moral code, the other extreme is TOOOO loose, reaking havoc & destruction in the forms of unwanted pregnancies, shattered lives, and veneral diseases run rampant. 

Neither is good. I hope none of my children will make the mistakes I did in my youth (mentally with sex hangups ) and I still hope at least a couple of them can wear white on their wedding day- if this is what they want and hope to give their future husband of wife. I find that beautiful. 


For as much as we can, for the good of society, and our children, I feel Love & emotional commitment should be strived for before succuming to being that physically vulnerable with another human being. I personally see it as sacred.  We were "best friends" long before we were lovers.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't think it matters if you wait or not. What I do think, is that people should be ready (emotionally and mentally) for sex and use it responsibly.

I lost my virginity at 21 with a man I had dated for 11 months 

I have had less partners than I can count on both hands. A few were LTR, the rest were dear, dear friends. 

My husband had 5 partners before me... But--- he's incredible in bed. I don't care about his past--- it was in the past.

I do know a few people who waited until marriage and hate their sex lives.. Rarely do my friends who didn't wait hate their sex lives.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

1-12-t1 said:


> Should it? im getting over my first love, she was my first, and i feel as though i should have waited. To me, it is special. But i know my future wife (most probably) will have many which disgusts me. Most of my women friends have 10+ ... so i know even if i wait most likely she wont. And i know not to ask so thats out of the question but should i stop? I am only at 2 but if you could change your past would you? even if you S.O. had many partners?


My H and I were each other's first (we were both 25 yrs old) but we had sex before we were married. We also lived together before we were married but it wasn't a test run like most people view it these days. I knew I'd be spending the rest of my life with him and that was all that mattered. 

I would not have married, or had sex with, someone with multiple partners either, or even one other partner, but that's just me. You have to know what you want, be comfortable with what you want, and go after what you want. Never settle simply because you don't think you can find what you want. I waited for my H because if he wasn't out there, if I couldn't find exactly what I wanted, then I was fine with dating for fun and having a relatively platonic good time. If you start having multiple partners then you won't like yourself anymore and the odds of you ever getting what you really want are slim.


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## Phoque (Aug 13, 2011)

No, I honestly can't say I do. 

That being said, I believe that sex should be treated as something that's special and unique, and I don't think you should be promiscuous and sleep with everyone that you date. I'd say that if you're unsure if you should have sex or not: don't. It's only for couples that are absolutely certain they're ready.

Although, that's just my _very_ brief take on it.


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## newdaddy79 (Aug 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I see 2 extremes ..... I feel the Church is TOO strict on these matters of purity, after all God gave some of us an intense sex drive, it is a blessing! But we have made it a curse by putting our flesh down & feeling all expression is sin, even in our youth, being taught we can somehow turn a switch once we have a wedding certificate in our hands, it just doesn't work that way............ But then without some moral code, the other extreme is TOOOO loose, reaking havoc & destruction in the forms of unwanted pregnancies, shattered lives, and veneral diseases run rampant.


The Church is too strict? I don't get it. If you profess to be Christian and follow the teachings of the Bible and believe it to be God's word, then you must obey the command to abstain from fornication. It has nothing to do with the church. Heck, unfortunately most churches accept anyone in, just because they need the money to sustain them. So they will preach what people want to hear, that God will accept us even if we practice such things.

Is it easy. Heck no. I failed, and regretted it. But I failed with only one other partner at least and learned my lesson. My wife was successful, and is very happy with her decision.

The bottom line is that I think it is interesting that people try to make a gray area out of this. God created us male/female to be married. Sex is a benefit for those that are married. And it is a blessing for those that uphold that command - no unwanted pregnancies, diseases, broken hearts, low self-esteem, etc. It truly is the wise way to go.

Again I am not saying it is easy...I failed. But I would always tell young ones to wait till marriage.

As for flipping the switch...of course you don't do that once you have the marriage certificate. However, you grow with your mate in this area, and over time you become sexual. You experiment together, in a loving and happy bond.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

newdaddy79 said:


> The Church is too strict? I don't get it. If you profess to be Christian and follow the teachings of the Bible and believe it to be God's word, then you must obey the command to abstain from fornication.


I don't profess to be a christian anymore at all. It hindered me in many ways sexually and it is my #1 biggest regret of my life and marraige. Just speaking honestly. It is my story and that is how I feel. See my "awakening" thread if you care for more of an explanation. 

I do not feel touching each other is wrong before marraige (but the church does or teaches this way) , but yes I agree with you, if you can wait for intercourse , you should. We did. I don't really regret that but given how much trouble I had with my hymen, doc telling me I needed a Hymenectomy then I was found pregnant, it is a wonder I even feel this way, that was a very stressful time. Physically I was a virgin when I married, the hymen was VERY MUCH intact. BUt according to christians, I was not. Too much judging in my opioion, too much shame, too much guilt. 

Most every christian I know didn't wait but still agrees with it all, seems silly to me personally. LIke God sets you up just to fail. Why can't christians wait then, after all you believe HE gives you power for everything, even sexual sin? 

Our boundaries were intercourse- we were strong enough to hold to them. Was it us , or was it God helping us ? I don't know because my mind was divided terribly on what my conscience felt good about and what the church was teaching. 


Personally, I dont see what is so darn wrong with this. I think purity can be worshiped like anything else, to the detriment to your being whole and feeling accepted by God and living "free" to enjoy your life and youth...and in my case freedom to explore even in marraige -because of these good girl beliefs that carried over.


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## newdaddy79 (Aug 15, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't profess to be a christian anymore at all. It hindered me in many ways sexually and it is my #1 biggest regret of my life and marraige. Just speaking honestly. It is my story and that is how I feel. See my "awakening" thread if you care for more of an explanation.
> 
> I do not feel touching each other is wrong before marraige (but the church does or teaches this way) , but yes I agree with you, if you can wait for intercourse , you should. We did. I don't really regret that but given how much trouble I had with my hymen, doc telling me I needed a Hymenectomy then I was found pregnant, it is a wonder I even feel this way, that was a very stressful time. Physically I was a virgin when I married, the hymen was VERY MUCH intact. BUt according to christians, I was not. Too much judging in my opioion, too much shame, too much guilt.
> 
> ...


I suppose I look at it all a bit differently than you. My wife and I grew up in strong Christian families and were instructed, based on the Bible, to not commit fornication - which would involve intercourse or any type of genital manipulation. Sure, when I was a youth it was hard to resist temptation, but that doesn't mean it was bad for me to do so. In fact, it was always for a protection.

God, as our creator, surely knows what is beneficial for us. Yes, we are imperfect now because of Adam's sin, and so it has become harder to resist some of those natural desires God created us with. But that doesn't mean that it is detrimental to us sexually or impossible for us to resist. Self control is vital in a lot of areas of life - sexuality just happens to be one of them. 

I knew friends of mine that gave in, but I knew plenty that kept their virginity till marriage. So yes, it is hard to follow these standards, but God didn't set us up to fail. Remember, he created man perfect but with free will. It was either that or we were created as robots...that doesn't sound fun. A loving God would not do that. He created us with the ability to make decisions. Adam and Eve lost that pefection for us, and so it has become hard for us to live up to God's righteous standards. But God cannot change his standards. He must stay true to his holiness. He does forgive us if we sin, as long as we are repentant, but he also provides us with the ability to be close to him and stay away from this wicked world and it's twisted thinking. We have to choose that and it certainly makes it easier to follow his standards. 

So I am not sure what type of guilt was blasted upon you as a youth. There certainly should not be guilt, but rather a building up of what is best for us. I failed in keeping with my standards, mainly because I was not building myself up spriritually but was allowing negative influences in my life have to big of a place in my thinking. 

But now that you are married, God doesn't provide sexuality "rules" for us when were married, other than to have your marriage be honorable and of course not to commit adultery. So once married, you are free to explore sexually with your mate. I never felt guilty one bit once I was married, and neither did my wife who was a virgin till our wedding day. We simply follow the Bible as our guideline. So I am not sure what "good girl" beliefs you were taught? We were simply taught what the Bible teaches regarding fornication. That didn's mean that we had to ignore our sexuality once married. It is a privilege of marriage! 

But I know many are not religious, are not Bible readers, so these thought seems strange to them. I choose to believe we have a creator, and that he provided us a guidebook - the Bible. I have faith in the Bible that it is God's Word, and the advice given from God is not something that we can gloss over and alter with our own rules. It will never lead to his blessing. Just the way I feel.


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## anealka (Aug 18, 2011)

We waited till we were married. It's more meaningful and sweet rather than having sex before tying the knot. By waiting, it actually test our love to one another.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

And I will tell you DearDaddy, you are your wife were LUCKY you never struggled afterwards. (I am sure you will say BLESSED)... BUT it is just Not always this simple for the rest of us. 

MY story is not that bad because I KEPT my sex drive alive , I had a strong one and to be honest, if I felt we couldn't touch each other , I would have felt God is nothing more than a total KILL JOY. I would have resented HIM and christianity alot more than I did. INstead, I struggled with some bad girl guilt and shame but I didn't repress myself as badly as SOME..... IN my conscience I felt good about what we allowed-what we waited for, and for me , that was between me & my God-- but others -they were the judgers, isn't is always like this ??? 

I will never forget the husband who came to pour his heart out on this Christian forum .... The Marriage Bed • Index page

... he & his GF met in college, fell madly in love, started having sex , it was Hot & passionate, they both got saved shorty afterwards, both agreed no more SEX, so they stopped cold turkey, for a little over 2 years -wanted & promised God to wait for thier Wedding day. The husband was SO excited- after all this time, wanting to jump right back in where they left off -- and here she told him on their wedding night, she has ZERO desire, doesn't care if she ever has sex again, doesn't want it. 

He came to that forum pouring out his heart 6 months later -still no intimacy with this woman who once loved him passionatly - he longed for this to return, but it was GONE, he didn't know what to do, he was dying inside, felt she didn't love him, no desire, nothing, she was numb, sex repulsed her..... the only answers this poor husband got from his Christian brothers & sisters was --Pray, go see a Christian counselor. 

From MY perspective (and I CRIED reading that man's broken heart) .... all I could see was --OH MY GOD, this couple did this to themselves, he helped her do it ! she completely SHUT DOWN her sex drive, repressed herself -because of belief, just didn't have to happen!! SO soooooo sad. This sort of thing happens more than some might imagine. That webiste is riddled with repressiveness, some more subtle than others of coarse. And MUCH judgement. 

I am probably more passionate about the Whole Sexual repression thing than most could understand becaues I feel it stole something very precious from me & my husband. It has angered me. NO, not God's fault. But mans and his teachings -oh yeah. I am NOT alone. Thankfully, I have never suffered like many of the stories I have read. 

ONe of our posters here at TAM, her story is one of the more severe I have heard.... she & her husband waited, did the RIGHT thing, the PURE thing before God- they were both in youth ministry - the passion was intense in the beginning, overwhelmed her but she held to self -discipline, she knew lusting was wrong/evil/vile (after all we are instructed to pluck our eyes out) - so she PRAYED for it to go away and by golly it DID - it ALLLLLLLL went away... she was relieved-for a time , that struggle gone, blown away with the wind . Then they got married ---she felt NOTHING --do you hear me, *NOTHING for her husband *--  for 4 long years -after her wedding day. Keep in mind, this couple did the RIGHT thing before GOD. 

What do you say to these believers?? SHe is NOW coming out of this, but she needs intense counseling /therapy. READ her 1st post here --- http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/24911-porn-christianity-6.html 

That is wonderful you and your wife was able to JUmp into marriage- with no shackles on your sexuality- that your wife felt the freedom to do oral sex with gusto, dress up erotically for you , maybe even give you a lap dance like a fornicating worldly woman might do - end the good girl routine and be a BAD Girl for her husband behind closed doors. 

I am there too -believe me! BUt it took me far too long to get here, my husband was repressed also to some extent. This did us no favors in early marraige. My church worshipped Purity. Everything was dirty, and that black and white mentality, that us against them way of viewing life --had me calling every thing into question. What would Jesus do- certainly not have ORAL sex!! I felt my FLESH was evil , dirty, not somthing to celebrate. MY Pastor does not even allow his children to be alone with the opposite sex/girlfriend , but hang in groups UNTIL their wedding day- they are also against dating. 

Very happy to now celebrate my sexuality -with freedom. I also don't feel every "single" person needs to SHUT it completely down- I whole heartily disagree with you. 

BUT again, yes, saving something that precious until marriage (specifically intercourse) - I do agree with. Anything that has the POWER to CREATE and give LIFE -there needs to be one hell of an awesome responsibility in handling it. It should never be taken lightly or used casually.

Putting the Bible aside, Reason alone speaks that .


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## the gifted (Aug 31, 2011)

If marriage is a human emotion it does not have to wait to himself but when the marriage was waiting for him he did not marry himself anyway?


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

Women who who want to wait until marriage are usually Christian and Christian's(women in specific) almost always think sex is dirty, wrong and disgusting.

I don't have any problem with the waiting part itself. But I know for a fact that "waiting until marriage" would also result in a sexless marriage.

I'd rather not marry a woman who thinks sex is disgusting.


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

Christian women keep telling themselves that sex is wrong, sex is dirty, penises are disgusting and ugly, sex is disgusting and so on.

Those lines of thinking are not suddenly gonna go away when she gets married.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

"Waiting `til marriage" is a recipe for disaster.


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## useable (Aug 31, 2011)

so many people now consider that having sex outside marriage(before marriage) is not wrong. but this is adultery. 

to me, wait until get married.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If yes then the human race might have died out by now.


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