# french toast



## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

This is so crazy and silly what happen this morning! We watch kids for extra money. I just walked into kitchen and notice wife making french toast. Then I ask said," Oh Jerry must be here today". Jerry is one of the kids we watch. I said that because she make that for him every time he is here. I notice she plays favoritism toward him and let him slide by with most stuff. But the other kids she yell at them or get them time outs. Make long story short, she upset with me for saying Jerry must be here because you making french toast. Said i was a bad husband and i am not a nice person.  Who was in the wrong ????????????????


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Who's Jerry?


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

Roselyn said:


> Who's Jerry?


 The little 3 year old boy we watch.


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## Tango in Triple Time (Jul 14, 2015)

Is the French Toast good?


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

Tango in Triple Time said:


> Is the French Toast good?


What does have to do with the problem we having ?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Roselyn said:


> Who's Jerry?


*I'd greatly venture to say that "Jerry" is one of her coveted kids that she's busy looking after!

And who happens to be rather fond of French toast!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *I'd greatly venture to say that "Jerry" is one of her coveted kids that she's busy looking after!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 correct


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Impossible to know without knowing tone of your voice and how many times you've brought up (in the past) her favoritism for Jerry. Maybe she's sick of being accused of that if she feels she doesn't do it, or even if she does.


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## Tango in Triple Time (Jul 14, 2015)

If the french toast is lousy, then who cares if she makes it for Jerry? And if it's good, and she makes it when Jerry is coming over, Jerry should come more often. You don't like Jerry?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My 1st thought was...she is probably just pmsing...terribly overkill to lash back at you saying you are a bad husband for a seemingly innocent comment.. 

Could be she has something else (unspoken) rolling around in her head, when you spoke, it triggered this.. and she lashed out.. possible ? Nothing at all to do with Jerry or the french toast.. 

Something is "eating" at her.. what else is going on ?


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Impossible to know without knowing tone of your voice and how many times you've brought up (in the past) her favoritism for Jerry. Maybe she's sick of being accused of that if she feels she doesn't do it, or even if she does.


My tone of voice was soft and sweet, and yes i bought it up many times in the past.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

Tango in Triple Time said:


> If the french toast is lousy, then who cares if she makes it for Jerry? And if it's good, and she makes it when Jerry is coming over, Jerry should come more often. You don't like Jerry?


I like Jerry and all the kids we watch. I like to treat them all equal. All of them yell and scream all day but he only one she doesnt punish


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My 1st thought was...she is probably just pmsing...terribly overkill to lash back at you saying you are a bad husband for a seemingly innocent comment..
> 
> Could be she has something else (unspoken) rolling around in her head, when you spoke, it triggered this.. and she lashed out.. possible ? Nothing at all to do with Jerry or the french toast..
> 
> Something is "eating" at her.. what else is going on ?


 I dont know for sure unless she has a thing for his dad.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My 1st thought was...she is probably just pmsing...terribly overkill to lash back at you saying you are a bad husband for a seemingly innocent comment..
> 
> Could be she has something else (unspoken) rolling around in her head, when you spoke, it triggered this.. and she lashed out.. possible ? Nothing at all to do with Jerry or the french toast..
> 
> Something is "eating" at her.. what else is going on ?


Definitely agree, if you are a bad husband just for one comment, she has problems of her own much deeper than this. I'm not sure if you should be that worried about this, but if comments like this keep coming, it's time for a "sit down" with your wife.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

jb02157 said:


> Definitely agree, if you are a bad husband just for one comment, she has problems of her own much deeper than this. I'm not sure if you should be that worried about this, but if comments like this keep coming, it's time for a "sit down" with your wife.


 I think she get so upset about she has a thing for his dad.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Dennis68 said:


> I dont know for sure *unless she has a thing for his dad.*


Oh... could there be something to this.. Has she spoken of his father , you've noticed her reactions when he comes around, how she looks at him (yeah I am reading into this big time ).. 

Just asking.. since you mentioned it ... has there been words about Jerry's dad between the 2 of you .. in the past ??


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

There is an old saying, "the cobbler's son goes without shoes". She's getting paid to watch this kid. Jerry's parents pay your wife. If she is perceived to mistreat the kid she loses her job. Doting on him means she keeps getting paid. She supervises your kids for free. Also, she isn't raising Jerry. She's watching him for money. If Jerry grows up to be a menace to society, it's no reflection on your wife and Jerry won't be living in your house at 30 years of age, cooking meth in the basement. Naturally, she'll be stricter on her own kids than on this little visitor.

As far as your wife snapping at your innocent inquiry about french toast, sounds like you have a pretty normal wife. Maybe she's stressed, maybe has PMS, maybe she's pissed about something that happened 8 years ago and has nothing to do with you. If female outbursts have a rational explanation it is not comprehensible to men. Say you're sorry, give her a kiss, proceed with your life, and make a mental note to not associate french toast with Jerry's visits in the future. You will drive yourself slap bug crazy trying to figure these things out. If you ever do unravel the mysteries of female emotions you can write a book and become instantly famous.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Dennis68 said:


> I think she get so upset about she has a thing for his dad.


And the wheels about to come off in 3...2...1...


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Oh... could there be something to this.. Has she spoken of his father , you've noticed her reactions when he comes around, how she looks at him (yeah I am reading into this big time )..
> 
> Just asking.. since you mentioned it ... has there been words about Jerry's dad between the 2 of you .. in the past ??


 I told her I notice he only dad that comes into the house. The others dont come in house, they just drop them off at front door. When I am standing next to him talking to him and he talking to me also. He isnt even looking at me, he busy watching my wife.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> And the wheels about to come off in 3...2...1...


What does that mean ?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Dennis68 said:


> I told her I notice he only dad that comes into the house. The others dont come in house, they just drop them off at front door. When I am standing next to him talking to him and he talking to me also. *He isnt even looking at me, he busy watching my wife*.


So you are convinced Jerry's Father wants your wife, has a thing for her (at the very least)..... and this is becoming more uncomfortable for you.. 

*But does SHE seem like she has a thing for him??* .. I can't say it's your wife's fault just because this guy is looking at her too much.. or happens to want to step inside the door.... she has little control over this -unless she (or you both ) enforce some rule to not come inside the house in the future.. 

Does his looking at her cause her to be uncomfortable or does she seem to enjoy it - is the question?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

She's upset because this thing was Jerry and his dad has been an ongoing issue, so my guess is your comment wasn't so sweet, probably passive aggressive.

She's either ticked because you're right and she has the hots for the dad or she's ticked because she's fed up with your comments.


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

It sure isn't about the 3 year old.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> So you are convinced Jerry's Father wants your wife, has a thing for her (at the very least)..... and this is becoming more uncomfortable for you..
> 
> *But does SHE seem like she has a thing for him??* .. I can't say it's your wife's fault just because this guy is looking at her too much.. or happens to want to step inside the door.... she has little control over this -unless she (or you both ) enforce some rule to not come inside the house in the future..
> 
> Does his looking at her cause her to be uncomfortable or does she seem to enjoy it - is the question?


I am convince he has thing for her. As for her i question my self because I ask her why cant you just stand in front of door and so he cant come into the house ? She refuse to do that.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

Vorlon said:


> It sure isn't about the 3 years old.


 I know it has to be something else, very odd.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Dennis,

It could very well be nothing, but check your Ws communication channels for messages to/from Jerrys Dad. Your sense that something is wrong could be right.

If you find flirting, save the communication in a safe place online, then forward them to his Jerrys Mom when you have enough.

Tamat


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Dennis68 said:


> I am convince he has thing for her. As for her i question my self because I ask her why cant you just stand in front of door and so he cant come into the house ? She refuse to do that.


Question.. what is lacking in your marriage -that you feel the need to block him from coming in.. 

Do you feel a disconnect with your wife , that leads you to questioning her motives ?


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## Tango in Triple Time (Jul 14, 2015)

You've moved from being irritated about french toast for Jerry, to Jerry's dad is eyeing your wife. I think the title of the thread should be Other Man Looks At Wife Too Much.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Dennis68 said:


> I am convince he has thing for her. As for her i question my self because *I ask her why cant you just stand in front of door and so he cant come into the house ? She refuse to do that*.


So there was a bit more to this than a "sweet," casual enquiry from you about your W making french toast for a 3 year old... Perhaps it wasn't your W's hormones that gave out after all; it was her patience...

Unless you have more to substantiate your suspicions, OP, I would stop harping on about this guy.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

This is gonna be a wild ride!

Your wife is either already banging Jerry's father or wants to. Doesn't matter much.

Be prepared to have Jerry's father play the knight in the shining armor role. He will gladly take your wife away from this horrible abusive controlling man (You) and give her lots of attention, love and respect.

Unless you're willing to be firm and possessive of your house, marriage and lifestyle, you're going to lose quite a lot in this.

I suspect the moment you draw a boundary and demand Jerry's father to NOT enter the house, your wife will threaten to leave or divorce. Unfortunately, that's the only way to unravel her true feelings and intentions. Let her make her choice and be willing to let her go. You're worth more than your wife's temptations. Always remember that.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Dennis68 said:


> I like Jerry and all the kids we watch. I like to treat them all equal. All of them *yell and scream all day* but he only one she doesnt punish


THIS is a big problem. Do these kids' parents know she yells and screams at the kids? That is just bad.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Maybe it's Jerry's dad she likes best.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Passive aggressive statements rarely create solutions. If you truly have an issue with Jerry's dad, then be direct about it...don't waffle (no pun intended) around the issue and make passive criticisms about W favoritism towards Jerry...even though it may be a symptom of the larger issue.


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## Dennis68 (Apr 16, 2014)

Thank you all for the help. Plenty of information you guys gave me.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Dennis68 said:


> Who was in the wrong ????????????????


That depends. Was Jerry, in fact, there?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I mean, who would name a French Toast loving kid Jerry ? I ask you ?

Now if he liked wieners or hamburgers, maybe. But French Toast - he should be a Serge or Pierre, non ?

But seriously, she is upset because you caught her and called her out on her showing favouritism! Give her some leeway - she has a right to show favouritism. I even have a favourite child myself - its normally the one that costs me the least that month.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I'd guess that your comment made her feel guilty since she knows she shows favoritism to the child. If you can get along without the income, tell the dad that he'll need to find other accommodations for his child. No sense in not putting out the flame before there's a fire.


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