# Real Love but sometimes I hate myself for tolerating her treatment



## maxthemost (May 14, 2012)

Heres what happened:

1. She comes to the US from spain on a tourist visa
2. She claims she can not get pregnant but does the first week.
3. I try to stay cool while her emotional rollercoaster and *****yness drive me nuts and it impacts my social and work life.
4. I agree to marry her since thats the only/best way to stay in the US.
5. Within 3 months her irritability and moods are so severe that I wonder if she should go home.
6. One weekend she goes crazy because I was an hour late coming home before going to a friends birthday party. Completely fed up I demand she get out of the car. Next morning I find out she changed her flight to monday morning and decides to give birth in Spain. (she always engages in one-up-manship, which I loath)
7. I beg her not to do it because it will cost us much more time and money to get the visas, fly round trip, and wait 6-8 months meanwhile I'm without my newborn son but she leaves anyway.
8. My son is born and I lose 6 months savings to be there for the event. (please note that I've been living with relatives to save $$ so we can have an extremely basic home since she is not able to work here, nor has a career or education)
9. When I try to explain why I am having trouble trusting her again she immediately starts threatening me that Ill never know my son and that she can easily make a life without me and will get me for child support and that Im a horrible person.
10. I actually love this woman but am afraid of her temper and threats and how this could destroy me if I supported her legally and brought her back to the US. Sometimes I don't know if I can tolerate living with her much less have the relationship I want with her. Problem is that to find out I must either move to Spain or wait 6-8 months just to try again what failed miserably the first time. Meanwhile I'm feeling very demoralized because I have a beautiful baby boy who I can not even see.

So I am considering divorcing her instead of immigrating her to the US and halt the damage before more is done to my career, my psyche, my finances, and just cut my losses with her and probably never see my son. 

It is an extremely hard decision for me since I feel real love for her but sometimes I hate myself for tolerating her treatment.

The only thing I am considering is getting her non-immigrant visa then she can not work but we can try living together again. If it is so bad then she just goes back home. But it will break my heart even more to know my son and then have him taken away again. Really sad to say but maybe its easier for me to not even know him.

What would you do?


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## RunningOnEmpty (Aug 29, 2010)

Bring her to the States, tolerate her while you establish status quo with your son. And then divorce her, claim shared custody and keep her from ever taking your son out of your county.

Talk to a lawyer, Spain most likely is part of the Hague convention ( or whatever it's called  ).

Not being in my son's life would never be an option for me.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Can't get pregnant! I've heard that one before. I know 3 guys who have kids to women who told them they couldn't get pregnant!!!


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