# Anyone else not wear their wedding bands?



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I was just reading the thread about the W whose H won't wear his ring, and then I had to look at myself and my marriage.

My wife and I rarely wear our wedding rings, and when we do, it is for special occasions, going out, holidays, etc. No, we have no issues of infidelity or fighting-we just don't really feel that it's totally necessary. Neither of us are into jewelry and bling, and in my job (locomotive engineer, or engine driver, for our friends in the UK), they warn us not to wear jewelry, and they even showed us a pic of some guy who wore his ring and it got hung up on a piece of equipment-took the flesh off his bone like the finger of a glove! That did it for me!
And besides, I always am afraid of losing it, as I always take it off to wash up. They're not fancy and only cost me maybe $40 for both, so it's not like they're hard to replace, but for what they symbolize, well, we don't want to lose them.

And yes, it has caused some awkward situations, like the time I was buying flowers for the W, and the clerk asked me if I was married, then where's my ring, and so I told her that we don't wear them every day, and she shot me this withering look, like she was saying: "Yeah, right! I know what you're up to, you a**hole!"

So, I ask anyone else out there, do you, too, not wear your ring-not out of spite or marital problems, but simply out of practicality and convenience?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I wore my wedding band for the first few years of my marriage, but I really am not a jewelry person. I don't even wear a watch. So I stopped wearing mine not out of spite or anything, just out of comfort. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My husband doesn't wear his since it got stuck when he had an accident while in motor school. Scared him. I don't wear mine because I'm a homemaker. I only put it on when I'm wearing the rest of my jewelry.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Rings have only one purpose, a sign to OTHERS that you are NOT available for a relationship. Mrs BigToe and I wear ours ALL the time.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

BigToe said:


> Rings have only one purpose, a sign to OTHERS that you are NOT available for a relationship. Mrs BigToe and I wear ours ALL the time.


I guess that's the thing... I never felt the need to bother signalling to anyone that I wasn't available, as the idea of being available simply wasn't in my mind. Plus I'm apparently clueless when it comes to being flirted with, so I never felt the urge to warn anyone away.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

I take mine off when I'm working out, doing MA, using tools etc, otherwise I wear it all the time. Ditto Mrs Beane.

Basically if it can get in the way / hurt ME, it comes off. Otherwise it stays on.

F-102: your warning about what jewelry can do if it gets caught up in stuff ought to be rolled out to anyone who does DIY or uses weight machines at a gym (at least!).


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I used to wear mine for special occasions until last Christmas when I took it off to carve the turkey... and now it is gone forever.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I have worn mine pretty much every day since our wedding nearly 13 years ago. On a rare occasion I have taken it off for safety purposes.


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## nikkixmarie (Jul 5, 2011)

i useto wear mine, but HE doesnt. so thats why i stoped.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Nearly had my finger cut off years ago when I was a machinist, and the ring got caught on a collet, so I quit wearing it. I work out with weights and have a woodshop, plus work in an office where rings are not allowed due to an attached factory. Even before quitting wearing them, my wife was frustrated with me needing a new one about every year due to wear (with the hobbies). Now, if I need to wear one to an event, I stick to tungsen carbide one with a gold inlay. My wife wears hers on days that she doesn't work.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i wear mine when i feel like it...husband dosent wear one, he has one, and its right safe home with me


i have had many rings over the past 11 years of marriage, but i change my mind about what i like so much, i cant commit to one lol

my current ring is nice, i love it, i picked it out from an antique store, and i recently bought a spinner ring from hot topic (half off,half off) i paid 1.00 yay..

so i wear them together, and it does look like a wedding band and engagement ring...but it does not keep the wolves at bay...i get hit on by bus drivers, gas station workers, grocery store workers, some guy driving down the street that HAD to turn around and come back...lots of granddads..yes gross.

the ring dosent tell anybody, im not ava, its now just a game..i get less play if i dont wear it....not none, just....less...

the ring is state of mind, im not ava, and i am up front about it, and dont take phone numbers, and def dont give mine out. ring, no ring, what difference does it make? if the other persons mind set is cheating, that little metal leash isnt going to stop anybody from doing what ever they want...


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Halien said:


> Now, if I need to wear one to an event, I stick to tungsen carbide one with a gold inlay. My wife wears hers on days that she doesn't work.


He he he, I have tungsten carbide too, after a lot of research it just fit me and what I do. won't crush, won't tarnish and is so tough you can scratch your name in the concrete with it....


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

The only time it comes off for me is when I am painting or when I am massaging lotion/oil on my wife.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I take my rings off before I go to sleep, don't wear in the shower, or if I'm just at home doing chores. I have on occasion forgotten to wear them when going out during the day, but that's rare. However the rings and, to be honest getting married, were never important to me. He knows this. I never had the daydream of being a bride. I just wanted to be with him. End of story. The ring is more important to my H. To him it symbolizes our love. But that's just what it is, isn't it? A symbol. I don't need a symbol to know I'm loved, to know he loves me, or to tell others we're unavailable. I don't purposely not wear my ring either though, if that makes sense?


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

H and I never took ours off. But he never wore one with his first wife. Ever. I wore mine because I loved it so much. He picked it out by himself and it was a beautiful gift. I may continue wearing it as a right hand ring even though we aren't together.

For some people it is a symbol of love...they shouldn't be criticized for that. And those who see it as nothing but a piece of overpriced metal...well they shouldn't be judged for that either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

When we are home with just our family, neither of us wear our rings or any other kind of jewelry.

If we are hosting something at our home where others attend, we put them on. Whenever we go out - alone or together - to work or to work out or to shop or anything - we also always put our rings on.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Well, at work, some guys do wear their rings, and some even wear more bling than Mr. T (remember him?). Now it's not a rule, but it is discouraged. When we have to start the engines, we have to close a rather large electrical battery switch, one of those "Frankenstein's lab" types, and having a gold (excellent electrical conductor) ring on in such close proximity kinda scares me.

I do, however, wear a wristwatch (digital with velcro strap). It IS a job requirement, and a tradition amongst railroaders-I'm sure you've seen old paintings of engineers leaning out the window of the locomotive, one hand on the throttle and the other holding a pocket watch.

My W will not wear hers when shopping or running errands, but if there is, say, a meeting at the school or what not, she'll wear it, along with her engagement ring-I find that reassuring.

I'm going out with my bro and his fiancee for pretty much the whole day later this week, and I will wear my ring.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

so everyone is different, and has different ways of ringdom{?}...what ever you feel you like to do is great.

some spouses just dont wear bands, some do. i think a talk is in order and an understanding needs to be met and agreed upon.


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## KJ5000 (May 29, 2011)

Right now I don't have one. I'm an avid weightlifter and the ring DIGS into your skin during workouts. I've taken it off before training and lost it.
TWICE. I'm buying a cheap band next month just to keep the peace.
My wife has a very valid point. If she went out without her ring on a regular, I'D GO BALLISTIC!


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

That little gold ring you wear on your hand, makes me understand,
There's another before me, you'll never be mine, I'm wasting my time...


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

The women where I live seem to look at a ring a a challenge. I am virtually invisible without one, but get hit on alot when I am wearing it. Go figure. My wife noticed it too. After an incident where a woman got aggressive while I was out with my SISTER, my wife asked me not to wear it.:scratchhead: She isn't a jewelry person either so she doesn't wear hers. Also, when you see me 99.9% you see her too. So, I like to think that that does more to deter people from hitting on either of us than anything. I may change my mind about the whole thing if we move though.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Yes, it IS strange, but whenever I'm alone and wearing the ring, women seem much NICER to me. And in relation to the Grass Roots song, too many people do NOT think that way.

But, for the people who feel that they MUST wear a ring, or demand that their spouse wear theirs at all times, or even the aforementioned "disapproving friends"...

...perhaps they aren't so sure of their marriages themselves?


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

F-102 said:


> ...perhaps they aren't so sure of their marriages themselves?


This forum is replete with tales of "for sure" marriages that went sour due to weakness or temptation when the "door was opened" just a crack to take a peek at what was outside. The BEST way to avoid those situations is to do whatever is necessary to prevent the "door from opening" in the first place.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

True.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

F-102 said:


> So, I ask anyone else out there, do you, too, not wear your ring-not out of spite or marital problems, but simply out of practicality and convenience?


Practicality and Convenience - all the way. Have never once in our marraige used our wedding bands in any kind of controlling way or to prove a point of irritation. Like you, mostly to go out, holidays, parties, etc. But when hanging out alone in our house, neither of us wear them. 

Though my own Mother threw hers in the Ocean when her & my dad were getting a divorce, I remember her telling me that when I was a young girl, and I was thinking -what did you do that for, you could have given it to me ! I am sure finding that in the sand sure made someone's day!! 

My husband has a very similar job as you --and it is not allowed, and they go out of thier way to show every accident that can befall a worker on his job for the littlest things, down to the Wedding band.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I love mine and wear it every day.

He has his for special things and going out. He doesnt like jewelry and his job (mechanic) states no jewelry allowed.

It has never bothered me. Our marriage isn't in the rings.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

my stbxw stopped wearing hers awhile ago, I found out she only put it on when she was sending pics of herself to one of the OM that was obviously into married women. I always had mine on, literally. 6 months since I took it off and my hand still feels naked.


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## Sameold (Aug 11, 2011)

My husband isn't wearing his--he's put on enough weight over the decade since we bought them that his doesn't fit. It annoys me that he hasn't made resizing it a priority some days, other days I think maybe he's not getting it resized because he intends to loose the weight. He hasn't taken any steps towards that, though, either.
I'm not wearing mine partially because he's not wearing his, and partially because my hands swelled up at the end of pregnancy. Now baby's here, though, I've got to decide if I'm going to put it back on or not. I'm kind of leaning towards not until he puts his on again, on the other hand, I do like wearing my rings. (And jewelry in general.)


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

Only wore ours on special occasions like our anniversary.
Then we separated cause of his affair.
I started wearing mine every day because, it has a lot of power afterall.

I 
am
married.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

When I worked in an Alzheimers unit I accidentally gave a resident a skin tear with my ring. I stopped wearing it to avoid ever having that problem again. My H wasnt comfortable with my naked ring finger and bought me a simple band. It never comes off. He wears his all the time as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ZeroCool (Sep 23, 2011)

I don't wear the diamond except for special occasions and can be hit or miss with the wedding ring. I wear very little jewelry, and my band would be the only ring I wear. I don't like rings for some odd reason.


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## allisterfiend (Sep 29, 2011)

One word....MACHINIST!! I have been a precision machinist for 28 years. With my wife for 26. I still have all my fingers attached. 

I attribute that to NOT wearing my wedding band.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Never take mine off unless I'm working on a project in my shop that may make it a hazard. My wife never removes her band but only wears her engagement ring when we are out for formal occasions.


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

Well . . .I read thru these quickly . . .I guess I'm the only one taking mine off out of spite or resentment while she still is wearing hers. We seemed to have weathered the roughest spot (as of this hour), but for some reason, I don't feel like putting it back on. This is after nearly 20 years of never, ever taking it off. If anything, it's a reminder for me to sort thru whatever resentments I am still harboring. . . I think it may also be related to 'seeing' women again after so many years of not even noticing when it looked like the marriage wasn't going to last after all.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

As newlyweds we wear ours all day all the time except when showering. He has admitted to scratching his when working but he still wears it. We both sleep wearing them. Neither one of us have ever been fans of jewelry and I used to hate rings because they just bugged the crap out of me but we've adjusted to them easily.

Mine only comes off when showeing, washing dishes and doing anything dirty, and as I'm applying lotion. I will however, not take it to basic training with me. He will hold onto them though he has suggested I wear his ring since it's a simple band (yeah...we wear the same ring size LOL) and I jokingly replied "Nice try!" I will go bandless for those several weeks because they may get in the way.

I do believe that after several years like many couples we will only wear them when going out. Which is hilarious because before we married he said he'd only wear his when going out with me...but he does all the time  His brother and sister-in-law have been married 11 years and they both eventually lost theirs and just quit caring. Couples are just different,.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

this happened to me recently...

i wear 2 rings, the engagement & the wedding band. mine is not a traditional set, but just as large and noticeable.

my husband and i are always joined at the hip, we frequent this super market almost everyday, for dinner or just to grab a red bull, we have been in there with the kids to.

after 2+ years of shopping at this store, we got to know a lot of the workers, and for me esp the women.

one day, i just popped in for a bull, and got chatty with a couple for the women there, kids and crap....well one looks around as if for the first time, and says..

where's your..friend.?..err..boy...friend..?..that guy..your always with...?

i say husband....they exchange a look, an say oh, ok...and try to look at my left hand, which as 2 rings on...they plaster on smiles...i keep talking, yea husband, thats why we are always together, we've been together for 20/21 years.

now they are speechless. i have been talking to them for 2 years, almost everyday. so what difference did wearing the rings do??

although thats the reaction i get, a lot. its like scumbag/douchbag guys get off on looking for it, and people you associate and interact with never notice, or dont care.

i get it means something special a symbol of, love, commitment, loyatly, but we make the choice everyday to love the other person, and stay with them.

you have kids, a house a car, these are also symbols. love is there everyday, rain or sun. laugh lines an grey hairs. forgetfulness, shared inside jokes, little glances that say so much that its possible to have a full conversation in 2 or 3 looks.

thats marriage. those things are your proof of your wedding day.


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## kekel1123 (Aug 17, 2011)

I am still weraing mine. Just to remind me that I have to work on it, strive more to do more , and whatever the result maybe , I have done mybest. Wife stopped wearing her , for BLAH, BLAH ,BLAH reasons but I respect her for that. For me, it 's a reminder and commitment , its my choice, for her ,I dont wanna know for now..... somebody says on the post , stop wearing it, for it may have her feel guilty, but thats beyond my grasp..... For all I can answer is for myself.


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## McWop (Oct 11, 2011)

This is a no-brainer - get a real problem. A little humor...

The answer is --- it depends on the couple. In my last marriage -this was a bad sign of bad things to come. 

In other marriages, this means nothing other than what you said --- which is "We're not into bling."


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

We haven't worn ours in at least 10-15 years. Just not a big deal.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

I only wore mine when I would go places, I'm a veterinary technician and can't wear much jewelry at work anyway. stbxh wore his for maybe a month after we got married and never wore it again.


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## ToriAnne (Oct 15, 2011)

I am NOT big on bling to begin with and I work in a hospital. Patients with skin issues, germs and some of the really harsh chemicals are reasons I do not wear my ring. I wanted a plain band, but got big, glittering ring. I wear it when I am with him, because it is important to him. When patients, or anyone else, asks if I am married, I say, 'very married, with 6 kids!'. That is usually enough to discourage most advances.


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## marbec06 (Oct 10, 2011)

What about wedding ring tattoos? other than dress codes at work they cannot be lost, scratched or putting fingers at risk. The only HUGE problem is getting them removed.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

marbec06 said:


> What about wedding ring tattoos? other than dress codes at work they cannot be lost, scratched or putting fingers at risk. The only HUGE problem is getting them removed.


Did you do this?

I don't have any tattoos but I'd suggested this option to my H and he didn't go for it. I do love the the rings we have though.


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## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

marbec06 said:


> What about wedding ring tattoos? other than dress codes at work they cannot be lost, scratched or putting fingers at risk. The only HUGE problem is getting them removed.


I wear my rings & my hubs gets very upset if I don't. It's too dangerous for him to wear one to work so he got our wedding date tattooed to his ring finger. It looks good on him and he gets lots of compliments on it. I love it!


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## kim p (Nov 15, 2011)

My husband hasnt worn his for years. He likes jewelry and wears a lot of different rings .It used to bug me alot and Id say things to him about wearing his wedding band.He was subborn and would not put it on.Its not a trust thing for me and I finely let it drop.I did ask him if it would matter if I didnt wear mine and he said that it wouldnt.I went out and bought a gold signet ring Ive always wanted and wear it on left pinky finger


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