# What my husbands ex wife said



## LindaH (Aug 12, 2013)

Hello everyone! I am from a small town where everyone knows each other ect...anyways, I have been married for almost a year now to my wonderful husband. We are friends with his ex wife and her husband cause they have a child together that we get on a regular basis. While at a baseball game for the child, I was speaking to the ex wife (husband was not there at the time) and we were just chatting about basic stuff and got on a topic about the husbands, we were joking about a girl that walked by and she told me I should be careful because my husband like them "young". This girl was like 15. I said WHAT?! She said yea, when they were married, he said to her that he wanted her to look like them. That's when they were like in their 20's. We are all in our late 30's now. So I don't know if that was just a phase he went through or if I should be concerned! I asked him about it later that night, and he said she was lying. What does she have to lie about? I know when we were dating he hit on a 15 year old when he was wasted drunk. He said he did it cause he was with his younger brother. He has always dated older women and been with older women so if he had something for that much younger girls seems like he'd date em. I don't know what to think of it, hopefully just a fluke.


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I was gonna say dismiss it , but then read he hitted on a 15 year old. Being drunk is not an excuse. How do you feel? Any other signs? How long have you known him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Nice of the ex wife to plant the seed of distrust in your marriage. The facts are he always dated older women. She is a ex for a reason.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LindaH (Aug 12, 2013)

There are no other signs that I have noticed. Besides what she has told me. I asked her what else he had done in their marriage, she said she caught him looking at teen porn once. He was like 23. But Since I have been married to him and since she told me this, I have "watched" him like when we go out, he does not stare at young women or anything like that when I am with him. So I tend to let the facts speak for themselves. But it does freak me out a bit about the hitting on the 15 year old and what she said. Maybe it was for an ego lift, who knows. He was 36 when it happened.


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

The hitting on a 15 year old is a little disturbing, but did he know her age when he hit on her, or was she just "younger" but could've been early 20's in look.

Everything else.....I see nothing. He has a proven track record. And you're going by his EX WIFE! What does she have to gain? To stir up the pot. Some people just like to stir things up. This was 15-20 years ago when this happened as well. Are you the same person now versus when you were 23 when it comes to the opposite sex?


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Well, I would just put it behind me. If you don't see any red flags, and assuming you know his online actives and there are no young girls in your home.


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Dad&Hubby said:


> The hitting on a 15 year old is a little disturbing, but did he know her age when he hit on her, or was she just "younger" but could've been early 20's in look.
> 
> Everything else.....I see nothing. He has a proven track record. And you're going by his EX WIFE! What does she have to gain? To stir up the pot. Some people just like to stir things up. This was 15-20 years ago when this happened as well. Are you the same person now versus when you were 23 when it comes to the opposite sex?


Exactly I can't even tell who is underaged now days with the makeup and the way girls dress. If he didn't know she was 15, it kind of labels him unfairly.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

If your husband told you his ex wife loved well endowed men.....would you feel the need to mention that to her husband? No you probably wouldn't. Some people love drama.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Stay away from discussing your husband with the ex-wife. She is an 'ex-wife' for a reason.


----------



## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

I wouldn't trust a word that comes out of an ex's mouth. As others said, there is a reason she is an ex. Just know your husband is with you and forget her and her talk.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Be careful about who you label 'friend'. She's his ex, and not a friend to your marriage talking like that. If she was a friend to either of you, she wouldn't talk about her ex and father of her child that way.

Keep the subject about the kid when you are together. Anything about your husband should be OFF LIMITS.


----------



## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

LindaH said:


> Hello everyone! I am from a small town where everyone knows each other ect...anyways, I have been married for almost a year now to my wonderful husband. We are friends with his ex wife and her husband cause they have a child together that we get on a regular basis. While at a baseball game for the child, I was speaking to the ex wife (husband was not there at the time) and we were just chatting about basic stuff and got on a topic about the husbands, we were joking about a girl that walked by and she told me I should be careful because my husband like them "young". This girl was like 15. I said WHAT?! She said yea, when they were married, he said to her that he wanted her to look like them. That's when they were like in their 20's. We are all in our late 30's now. So I don't know if that was just a phase he went through or if I should be concerned! I asked him about it later that night, and he said she was lying. What does she have to lie about? *I know when we were dating he hit on a 15 year old when he was wasted drunk. He said he did it cause he was with his younger brother. *He has always dated older women and been with older women so if he had something for that much younger girls seems like he'd date em. I don't know what to think of it, hopefully just a fluke.


And there you have it. Ex-wife told you he liked 15 year olds, you know of a time when you dated that he hit on a 15 year old. The Ex-wife told you the truth.

Now I'm not saying that he has a "thing" for 15 year olds, but if the issue is whether the Ex lied - she did not. As to other comments that suggest that she is an "ex" for a reason, while that may be true, the divorce might not have anything to do with 15 year olds.

Just as a general observation, there was obviously a reason or reasons why their marriage ended in divorce of which you may or may not know the reason. I know of some marriages that ended in divorce because of abuse or infidelity. The "ex" in those cases would be doing the current or future wife a favor by warning her. The point is, just because she is an "ex" doesn't mean she doesn't know what she is talking about.

It's good that you have a reasonably friendly relationship with the "ex" and there is ongoing contact. I don't think she means you any harm unless you get a "vibe" that she wants her former husband back. If that is not the case, take the information for what it's worth, remember it, and file it away. It could be nothing. Just something she wanted to share with you.


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

LindaH said:


> Hello everyone! I am from a small town where everyone knows each other ect...anyways, I have been married for almost a year now to my wonderful husband. We are friends with his ex wife and her husband cause they have a child together that we get on a regular basis. While at a baseball game for the child, I was speaking to the ex wife (husband was not there at the time) and we were just chatting about basic stuff and got on a topic about the husbands, we were joking about a girl that walked by and she told me I should be careful because my husband like them "young". This girl was like 15. I said WHAT?! She said yea, when they were married, he said to her that he wanted her to look like them. That's when they were like in their 20's. We are all in our late 30's now. So I don't know if that was just a phase he went through or if I should be concerned! I asked him about it later that night, and he said she was lying. What does she have to lie about? I know when we were dating he hit on a 15 year old when he was wasted drunk. He said he did it cause he was with his younger brother. He has always dated older women and been with older women so if he had something for that much younger girls seems like he'd date em. I don't know what to think of it, hopefully just a fluke.


really? you are going to let the ex wife get in your head? has he been a good man? has he cheated? hitting on a 15 year old is pretty subjective as well. You say he did and that is fine, but he also apparently did it in front of you so I doubt it was meant to be serious. Regardless, if he is a pervert you should know. The fact you asked her for more and she voluntarily stated teen porn means to me she is trying to make him out to be something and that is a bunch of BS.. BTW teen porn as a title is very common and means young not "under age" big difference. Most teen porn is woman 18-25. You know woman before gravity takes over. Sorry but yeah most guys like everything before it blew up or deflated.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

put your hair in pig tails and give him a ride!


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

A Bit Much said:


> Be careful about who you label 'friend'. She's his ex, and not a friend to your marriage talking like that. If she was a friend to either of you, she wouldn't talk about her ex and father of her child that way.
> 
> Keep the subject about the kid when you are together. Anything about your husband should be OFF LIMITS.


You are disrespecting your husband in a big way by having and allowing this type of talk about him. You act like she knows him and you don't. If you were my wife I would be pissed that I trusted you to be cordial with her for the sake of the kid and you decided to let her decide for you what type of man he is.
Sounds to me like he is in a baseball game of his own and he is batting 0 for 2.


----------



## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

If I were her husband I would be pissed off too. At YOU my wife, moreso than my ex. Sounds like a bunch of backbiting stirring the pot nonsense and I wouldn't appreciate my wife who is supposed to be 100% in my corner entertaining it.


----------



## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

I think this could go either way based on whether he knew the girl he was hitting on was 15. Did he?

Also, what was he doing hitting on ANYONE while you were together?


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Before getting all twisted on this, you have to define "hit on". When my daughter's friends came over the house, I was always very nice to them. Sometimes I complimented them on their outfits. Sometimes I told them I saw them play soccer and thought they did very well. Sometimes they would tell me who they are dating and I'd joke that they needed to date someone as nice as me. (BTW all of this was in front of wife and daughter and everyone had a good laugh).

Was I "hitting on" them? Maybe to someone hearing this second hand I was but to everyone there it wasn't. 

I'd take it with a grain of salt and if you haven't seen any indication that this is a real problem, move on.


----------



## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

The type of girl/woman that appealed to me at 23 was nothing like the type that appealed to me at 30. And what kind of environment was it that a fifteen year old was mingling with drunk older men? Couldn't have been a bar.


----------



## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

LindaH said:


> Hello everyone! I am from a small town where everyone knows each other ect...anyways, I have been married for almost a year now to my wonderful husband. We are friends with his ex wife and her husband cause they have a child together that we get on a regular basis. While at a baseball game for the child, I was speaking to the ex wife (husband was not there at the time) and we were just chatting about basic stuff and got on a topic about the husbands, we were joking about a girl that walked by and she told me I should be careful because my husband like them "young". This girl was like 15. I said WHAT?! She said yea, when they were married, he said to her that he wanted her to look like them. That's when they were like in their 20's. We are all in our late 30's now. So I don't know if that was just a phase he went through or if I should be concerned! I asked him about it later that night, and he said she was lying. What does she have to lie about? I know when we were dating he hit on a 15 year old when he was wasted drunk. He said he did it cause he was with his younger brother. He has always dated older women and been with older women so if he had something for that much younger girls seems like he'd date em. I don't know what to think of it, hopefully just a fluke.


The problem is you.

It's not that uncommon for women to be insanely jealous of younger girls. Hurt comes out as hate, and all kinds of ridiculous insinuations, like in this case that your husband is a pedophile.

An older woman can outcompete others with fitness, career, maturity, etc. But there's one thing you can't touch - and that's the beauty of youth. That's the insecurity you have and of all people to allow pushing your button... an ex-wife?!

And yes, tell us what you mean by how he "hit on" a fifteen year old while drunk.


----------

