# So confused



## Snj1991

Hi guys, me and wife had a conversation last Tuesday and decided to give our marriage another go. 
We’ve both been with other people despite only separating 9 months ago but neither of us were satisfied with our respective partners. Recently both our relationships came to an end and I’ve wanted to reconcile for a while but she hadn’t shown any interest in it at all. 
So we decided to give it a go and take it slowly. Apparently her way of taking it slow is to ignore any forms of questions, concerns or affection which leaves me totally confused. She’s told her parents about trying again and that’s quite a big deal to me because I know she wouldn’t have said anything if the feeling was fleeting, yet doesn’t put any effort in to making it work. I agree that’s its best to take it slowly but I want to take positive action to be together again properly. 
However, she denied being in contact with any of her former prospects but told me she was speaking to one that’s just a friend but I’ve got to trust her. This is in spite of her saying that we should wipe the slate clean, because I called her out on this, she has now decided it won’t work. Honestly I’m baffled.


----------



## SentHereForAReason

Snj1991 said:


> Hi guys, me and wife had a conversation last Tuesday and decided to give our marriage another go.
> We’ve both been with other people despite only separating 9 months ago but neither of us were satisfied with our respective partners. Recently both our relationships came to an end and I’ve wanted to reconcile for a while but she hadn’t shown any interest in it at all.
> So we decided to give it a go and take it slowly. Apparently her way of taking it slow is to ignore any forms of questions, concerns or affection which leaves me totally confused. She’s told her parents about trying again and that’s quite a big deal to me because I know she wouldn’t have said anything if the feeling was fleeting, yet doesn’t put any effort in to making it work. I agree that’s its best to take it slowly but I want to take positive action to be together again properly.
> However, she denied being in contact with any of her former prospects but told me she was speaking to one that’s just a friend but I’ve got to trust her. This is in spite of her saying that we should wipe the slate clean, because I called her out on this, she has now decided it won’t work. Honestly I’m baffled.


#1 - "Apparently her way of taking it slow is to ignore any forms of questions, concerns or affection which leaves me totally confused" Ok, this is not great but I can see that, kind of taking it slow, a cautious approach but #2

#2 - "but told me she was speaking to one that’s just a friend but I’ve got to trust her" No, just no and Hell no. Sorry. You have probably been around these forums enough to know, there are sadly, no such things as friends like this. I know you feel like you have to dance around it and deal with it but if you are to try again, it involves going all in and ths would not be her going all in.


----------



## Marc878

Did she instigate the separation?

Sounds like it.

You are at best a distant plan B. Stop living on hopium and move on. Finish out the D you have zero future here.

Or wallow in this a lot longer than you should


----------



## Snj1991

No we both agreed at the time it was best but admittedly I do regret it, I just can’t see her logic! Going to leave her be and see what comes of it whilst exploring my options


----------

