# Why do people despise cheating?



## sheer (Dec 9, 2012)

I don't. Then why do others?
Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Because I value myself.

I have no issue with the usual stuff, strip clubs, porn, masturbation, flirting. But anything that involves my partner being emotionally connected to another person in an intimate way is a deal breaker. 
I see it as a values issue as well as a boundaries one.


----------



## sheer (Dec 9, 2012)

Well, Holland you mean, your hubby can go around sleeping with strippers, flirting with women, sleeping with hot girls and you are okay with it but you are not okay with him being emotionally connected with him to other women?

So SEX is open and hes free to do it

cool.

Great to see people like me


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


Probably because men don't want to get stuck raising somebody else's bastard.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Probably because men don't want to get stuck raising somebody else's bastard.


Well, THIS woman wants nothing to do with a man who would stick his penis in another woman when he's married to me. If my husband ever did that, he'd be out on his ass. And if I ever did started looking elsewhere, I'd be out as well. We were both able to forgive emotional infidelity, but no way are we going to let someone come between us again. Marriage, for us, is two people... not a village. In addition to that, I don't want to risk him bringing home some nastiness. No thanks!


----------



## sheer (Dec 9, 2012)

Men don't seem to have issues much. Nor they like to look victims. Its usually females." My husband had EA/PA and I am so hurt"
Leave and go if you are so damn HURT


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


You have to have self respect to be against cheating. 

But if you are in an open marriage that is not cheating. So I find it very hard to take your post seriously. I think you are having us on.

This sounds like more bad juju.


----------



## sheer (Dec 9, 2012)

Maricha72, if marriage for you isnt a village, why did both of you cheat, EA?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

sheer said:


> Maricha72, if marriage for you isnt a village, why did both of you cheat, EA?


If you want to know the answer, read my thread. It's all in there. But the short answer is selfish, stupid, severely lacking in coping skills, and lack of communication. All of which we have resolved and continue nurturing.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

sheer said:


> Men don't seem to have issues much. Nor they like to look victims. Its usually females." My husband had EA/PA and I am so hurt"
> Leave and go if you are so damn HURT


Have you actually read the posts by men whose wives have cheated? Go back to CWI and read them. Many have more issues with this than you seem to think.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sheer said:


> Men don't seem to have issues much. Nor they like to look victims. Its usually females." My husband had EA/PA and I am so hurt"
> Leave and go if you are so damn HURT


More than half of the betrayed spouses here are men. So i guess you are wrong that it's usually females.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

In fact I am going to just add another poster to my ignore list. It typically takes a lot to do that but there is no redeeming value here.


----------



## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

Troll.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

sheer said:


> Men don't seem to have issues much. Nor they like to look victims. Its usually females." My husband had EA/PA and I am so hurt"
> Leave and go if you are so damn HURT


 You're from the Latin American culture, aren't you?


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

sheer said:


> Well, Holland you mean, your hubby can go around sleeping with strippers, flirting with women, sleeping with hot girls and you are okay with it but you are not okay with him being emotionally connected with him to other women?
> 
> So SEX is open and hes free to do it
> 
> ...


Um no, how on earth did you read that into my reply?

I have no issue with him masturbating - plenty of people do have an issue with this.
Flirting - it turns me on to know other women find him attractive.
Porn - he is a big man, he can look at what he wants.
Strip clubs - again he can look at whatever he wants.

If he had an EA, PA or ONS then it would be a deal breaker. 

No mate, I am not like you and am very happy with that because I am very happy with who I am.


Just saw the troll comment, damn I got sucked in.


----------



## DedicatedDad (Nov 11, 2012)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


There's a wild dog that runs around my neighborhood trying to hump every female dog in sight.
Being able to keep it in your pants exclusively for your mate is what separates us from animals...

that's why


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

turnera said:


> You're from the Latin American culture, aren't you?


What the heck does that got to do with anything? No no no dont let ignorant fools like this give us a bad name. 








To the trollish OP. If you gotta cheat then do everyone a favor and stay single. If you feel like you have to go around sticking your dong in everything with a vagina and a pulse just to make yourself feel awesome... Your unworthy of a relationship in my opinion. 

Most the posters in the CWI section of this forum are men. So your generalized and sexist statement is squashed. My current spouse was cheated on in a previous relationship. He despises it for much of the same reasons I do. 

1. It shows massive disrespect to your spouse.
2. It makes the betrayed spouse think and feel as if every I love you, every kiss, every intimate moment was fake. After all if the wayward can easily replace the betrayed like that then it all must have not been real right? That feeling of being tossed aside and replaced is very hurtfil. It is a massive blow to ones self esteem and self worth.
3. There is the added hurt of being lead on and played for a fool by the wayward. Another blow to self esteem and self worth there.
4. Trust is then broken because the wayward has proven themselves unreliable and unworthy of trust by the sneaking, lies, ect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Gaia, I was just thinking that, if she is, she has rationalized her situation because he ain't gonna change. If she's not a troll, that is.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

ah ok... Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


I've looked at some of this girl's other threads...

...she obviously doesn't LIKE big words, they represent big CONCEPTS, deep thinking; it's hard to do that when you're ill-equipped.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I wish people who troll would at least try to troll in a way that makes it seem like they're not trolling. Put some thought and creativity into it, people. *sigh* Trolling is just not what it used to be....


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I wish people who troll would at least try to troll in a way that makes it seem like they're not trolling. Put some thought and creativity into it, people. *sigh* Trolling is just not what it used to be....


Yes, but at least she sticks with same/similar story each time... famous husband, he sleeps around, etc. But, she was just a "baby"


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I have morals and self respect, so does my husband.

It's like asking... What's the big deal if your spouse gave you herpes, hepatitis, HIV, ect.. after you get married? I'm not okay with an open marriage either.


----------



## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


I have no problem with emotional cheating, but physical cheating bothers me. Being emotionally close to people feels natural, and everybody should have friends who are that close. Sleeping around with 20 different people seems like more of a lower class thing I would rather not associate with.


----------



## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

If you're not a troll
you're a cheater.


Either way.....

cheating is MEAN to someone you are supposed to protect from mean-ness.

Also, not _enough_ people despise it.

It should be more often despised
due
to
the MEAN-NESS of it.


----------



## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

sheer said:


> Why do people despise cheating?
> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


*Within the context of a conventional Judeo Christian marital commitment; because it is the breaking of a Covenant which the individual made between him/herself, their spouse, their community, their God, and their family (to include innocents and dependents such as children).

The breaching of a Covenant, as distinguished from the breach of a contract, is subject to a heightened standard of review. We can cure the breach of a contract through the awarding of monetary damages, performance of the promised duty, novation or modification of the agreement. When one breaks a Covenant there is no remedy as the promise itself has been broken.

In a world where many place little value on the veracity of a person’s word, the breaking of a Covenant does indeed mean very little. For those individuals who endeavor to live by a higher moral code of duty, honor and integrity; the transgression is representative and symbolic of far more than the mere act of infidelity itself.*


----------



## Sigma Uber Alles (Oct 15, 2012)

SpinDaddy said:


> *Within the context of a conventional Judeo Christian marital commitment; because it is the breaking of a Covenant which the individual made between him/herself, their spouse, their community, their God, and their family (to include innocents and dependents such as children).
> 
> The breaching of a Covenant, as distinguished from the breach of a contract, is subject to a heightened standard of review. We can cure the breach of a contract through the awarding of monetary damages, performance of the promised duty, novation or modification of the agreement. When one breaks a Covenant there is no remedy as the promise itself has been broken.
> 
> In a world where many place little value on the veracity of a person’s word, the breaking of a Covenant does indeed mean very little. For those individuals who endeavor to live by a higher moral code of duty, honor and integrity; the transgression is representative and symbolic of far more than the mere act of infidelity itself.*


An excellent response... but I'm afraid you just went WAY over their head.


----------



## SpunkySpunky (Dec 17, 2012)

Trollolololol.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


Because we don't like to be losers, and when we give our love to someone we want love in return. Marriage is a covenant and vow, of which monogamy is one of the prime elements.

Now if you want open relationship, swinging, or just be single to pursue a young party lifestyle, go ahead be all means, but if it means lying and deceiving others for your own gratification it means you have no honor or moral character. Don't enter a covenant which you have no intention to keep, or you will repulse quality people and attract other people that will walk over you in a heartbeat for their own gratification.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This troll was banned a month ago.


----------



## jfv (May 29, 2012)

ShawnD said:


> I have no problem with emotional cheating, but physical cheating bothers me. Being emotionally close to people feels natural, and everybody should have friends who are that close. *Sleeping around with 20 different* *people seems like more of a lower class thing I would rather not associate with. *


hmmmm.


----------



## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

because when i love someone, i love him 100%.no room for OM/fling/ONS. i want him to do the same because that's what he gets from me. if he has the slightest guts to step one toe on that, i'll cut his ba4lls for free.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

First of all, it's cheating when you don't let your spouse know about it.

And the practical issues with that include:
1. if you knew that your spouse is cheating, you probably wouldn't buy a new house with him/ her
2. invest in your in law's business
3. have another child

and a whole host of other decisions that you would say yes to when you are in stable relationship.

And of course, there are the health issues.


----------



## old_soldier (Jul 17, 2012)

sheer said:


> I don't. Then why do others?
> Physical and emotional cheating are such big words.


Because cheaters are cowards. They lack integrity, cannot be trusted, failed in their duty to their family, to set a proper example to their children and have no honour. They are liars and manipulators.

Are those good enough reasons?


----------



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

Can we let this troll thread die please?????

Pretty please??

With a cherry on top....

Thanks!


----------

