# Is this sexual harassment?



## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

July 3rd, 2013, I and my girls, my husband and my step-boys parked by a gas station. 

then my husband encouraged one of my step-boys to pee into a bottle in the van where I and my girls were presence.

my husband ignored my complaint of that it is very rude for him to encouraging his kids to do that with me and our girls around. 


i consider it is sexual harassment to me and my girls. 


what do u think?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Um. No.

It's family. Peeing in a jar isn't sexual harassment.

Maybe a little rude..and uncouth, but not sexual harassment. It's peeing.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

What age are the kids?
Why didn't he go to the toilet at the petrol station?
Why didn't either of you suggest the girls look away?
Was the boy forced into this situation? Did his dad consider it may be humiliating for the boy?

No IMO it isn't sexual harassment, possibly an over reaction on your part and slack parenting on his part.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Why didn't everyone go use the bathroom at the gas station? 

Not a big deal tho. Family peeing doesn't count. 

And it might matter the age of the kids....

*Sometimes, kids have to pee no matter who else is around.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

When you gotta go, you freaking gotta go...I am assuming the boy was ready to explode and there was no bathroom or any Tree to go hide behind .....but a bottle in the vehicle... 

I am also assuming the girls happily turned their eyes away...ducking behind a seat while the act was done.... goodness graces, any age knows they have different privates and if not, I hardly think it will destroy anyone if God Forbid , a girl sees a young boys wee wee..... when I was in 1st grade, one of the kids kept whipping it out in class.. I'm Ok.

Maybe I am uncouth, a little Red-Neckish but I'd never look upon this as sexual harrassment.... if you even suggested this to him, I can only see the man rolling this eyes.. 

DId the Dad make the girls watch?? Then maybe it's more outrageous than I am imagining.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Why didn't you and the girls step out, if it offended you so much?

C


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

cheating husband said:


> July 3rd, 2013, I and my girls, my husband and my step-boys parked by a gas station.
> 
> then my husband encouraged one of my step-boys to pee into a bottle in the van where I and my girls were presence.
> 
> ...


Big whup... Family secret here. When our kids were younger.. We took long vacations... Several were over a month long and we drove as far as 8,000 miles. Sometimes, in the middle of Montana, the nearest bathroom might be 30 miles away. The boys peed in bottles... The girls peed in cups... Nobody thought anything about it... Just turn your head!

That was our code word... "I'm having a 'Montana moment'"... translation.. Gotta pee.. gotta pee now!

Not a biggie...


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

hambone said:


> Big whup... Family secret here. When our kids were younger.. We took long vacations... Several were over a month long and we drove as far as 8,000 miles. Sometimes, in the middle of Montana, the nearest bathroom might be 30 miles away. The boys peed in bottles... The girls peed in cups... Nobody thought anything about it... Just turn your head!
> 
> That was our code word... "I'm having a 'Montana moment'"... translation.. Gotta pee.. gotta pee now!
> 
> Not a biggie...



we were at a parking lot of gas station where it has restroom.

I guess because I am thinking of divorce, which makes me count it as my lawyer told me to write everything down which can benefit me in court. 

thanks


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

cheating husband said:


> we were at a parking lot of gas station where it has restroom.
> 
> I guess because I am thinking of divorce, which makes me count it as my lawyer told me to write everything down which can benefit me in court.
> 
> thanks


Gotcha. 

You are LOOKING for anything you can make into sexual harassment...


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

cheating husband said:


> we were at a parking lot of gas station where it has restroom.
> 
> I guess because I am thinking of divorce, which makes me count it as my lawyer told me to write everything down which can benefit me in court.
> 
> thanks


People like you who would use this harmless opportunity to forever label a man as being one who sexually harrases women...scare the crap out of me and make me extremely angry all at once.

Shame.


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Please don't burden your lawyer with this nonsense. 



cheating husband said:


> we were at a parking lot of gas station where it has restroom.
> 
> I guess because I am thinking of divorce, which makes me count it as my lawyer told me to write everything down which can benefit me in court.
> 
> thanks


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Wow. Just wow. My ex wife tried to do something similar to me. The mediator just laughed at her.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

cheating husband said:


> July 3rd, 2013, I and my girls, my husband and my step-boys parked by a gas station.
> 
> then my husband encouraged one of my step-boys to pee into a bottle in the van where I and my girls were presence.
> 
> ...


No you don't.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Women like you are the reason that REAL sexual harassment is so hard to prosecute. There are too many stories like this out there and people are never sure what to believe. 

I'm a woman and I'm offended by this. If you don't like your husband, divorce him but you don't have to ruin his life by painting him as some dirty pedophile in the process.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

vandictive are we.

just divorce and try to be fair about it. why try to win? its not about winning its about moving on from someone who you once loved.

I just don't get this whole have to get as much out of him/her as I can when divorcing.

yuck.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

cheating husband said:


> i consider it is sexual harassment to me and my girls.
> 
> 
> what do u think?


I think you and your husband should be apart. You don't respect each other and you're looking for reasons to dislike each other.


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## LivingAgain (Jun 12, 2013)

Astounding!! I am offended like justonelife is...just do the guy a favor and divorce him.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

I get it.

He hurt you during the marriage and now that it's ending, he should pay for the pain he caused.

It could be worse. My exwife was the cheater and acted like how you're acting.

Here's what you need to ask yourself.

Who are you? What example do you want to set for your girls?

Do you want to be a reasonable person, accept this person wasn't right for you and move on with a fair distribution that isn't tied to pain and poor treatment?

Or do you want to be a vindictive...woman...and dig your claws in as deep as you can into this man (arsehole in your eyes)?

There's no right or wrong answer. There's just who you are at the end of this journey. 

I chose to do the FAIR thing for my kids in my divorce. It wasn't the most advantageous, but I could look at myself in the mirror every morning and hold my head high. I can also, when my kids are adults, sit down with them and explain every detail without shame or censorship.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm a woman and I can't believe how you're reacting to what was a non-event. 

What you describe is not sexual harassment at all. I can't believe you'd think that. Please don't be so petty. I realize you're in a bitter divorce, but you only make yourself look foolish when you claim sexual harassment because two young boys peed into a container. What's next you're going to claim sexual harassment because your girls saw the step brothers naked and stepping into the bath? 

Do you realize there are women who have to face quid pro quo sexual harassment at work ("sleep with me or lose your job"). You cheapen legitimate sexual harassment but claiming it for yourself for something that wasn't even sexual harassment. 

You may have legitimate things to mention in divorce court, but this is not one of those things.


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## cheating husband (Jul 22, 2013)

Dad&Hubby said:


> I get it.
> 
> He hurt you during the marriage and now that it's ending, he should pay for the pain he caused.
> 
> ...



i like yours best. you are right, because he hurts me so much. so i am looking to get even. but after reading your opinion, i guess i will take your word.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

From reading your posts it seems like he has stooped to low/dirty places to get his own way, please don't become like him it will do you no favor in the long run.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are all the children. It's hard to tell from your previous threads but it sounds like they are all preschool.

As others have said, not this is not sexual harassment.

In your quest for revenge, you need to be careful. If you got him charged with sexual harassment he will most likely lose is job and find it very hard to find another job.

Your making false accusations will back fire. It could turn the judge against you.


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

sinnister said:


> People like you who would use this harmless opportunity to forever label a man as being one who sexually harrases women...scare the crap out of me and make me extremely angry all at once.
> 
> Shame.


:iagree:


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Getting even will not get you very far in life or create happiness. 

People who are always getting even or revenge are never truly happy people. You are better then this. Let your stbx go and focus on your children. You will find a new husband in the future. Make it right with your future husband when it's time.

Get a new lawyer if this one is insisting to go beyond your fair share of the divorce. Do what's right.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Yeah not sexual harassment but, because the bathroom was a option, bad parenting skills and lack or good judgment, maybe even teaching bad hygiene. Come to mind. If you are fighting for child custody you can throw this in with other expamples. Not as a stand alone case.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

- The incident occurred on July 3rd. 6 weeks ago, approximately.
- You didn't report it until now.
- You don't claim to have made a reasonable effort to avert yourself or the other children form the behavior.
- The context lends it to a road trip mishap.

If I were his lawyer I'd argue that you share a portioned responsibility in the incident.

Don't grasp straws. They'll make life rough and it won't be easy to look in a mirror later. My ex tried this sort if stuff with me and it blew up in her face. She filed a bogus Temp Order of Protection with outlandish statements. When it went to court she confirmed her statements and landed herself a couple threats of charges form the Judge.


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