# trying to understand the meaning of cuddling.



## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

So the other night my wife and I was, what i thought was cuddling, on the couch and she tells me that if I would cuddle the right way then I would probably get more sex. I was kinda in shock to think that for the past 12yrs I've been cuddling all wrong. When I asked her how I was suppose to cuddle she glared at me and laid her head back down and dropped the subject. Is there a proper way to cuddle? Sometimes I tend to grope or rub her body but I never heard her complain before.
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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The groping. Stop it.

Cuddling is to feel close to each other. To chill with each other without being sexual...however it is provocative. It's being close and relaxing and talking a bit. Just chilling.

Being groped when you just want affection is annoying. We're more than boobs/ass as you are more than penis. That stuff is alllll fine and good, but with cuddling, it sounds like your wife wants to feel cherished....not groped.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

There's a wrong way to cuddle? :scratchhead:

Ok, so what do you TYPICALLY do when you are cuddling? What YOU think of cuddling, that is.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just hold her, walk with her, put your arms around her whenever you can. Find excuses to have physical contact, get a jacket not an umbrella in the rain so she has to cuddle up. Player's tricks, but works well in marriage too. It's just romance in my opinion

I'm a bloke but I'm lower drive then my wife, and I prefer the cuddling more than the sex, and I don't like it when there's expectations of sex - the ironic thing is that I can relate more to women then men when it comes to sexual issues as the men are more likely HD while their wifes are LD. 

And both types of folks hate me  lol


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ok, yea, what RD and TG said... but my question though is whether you are regularly grabbing/groping her? As for rubbing... is it sexually, usually? If so, stop.

When my husband and I are cuddling, it's hugging, just holding each other. Sometimes, he will kind of massage my shoulders or neck a little. Sometimes I do the same for him. But mostly, it's just to be close, in a non-sexual way.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wife complains when I do it 

Says it leads her on and leaves her hanging when I don't want sex but do all of this when it obviously turns her on. Then again, what can I do, as someone here said - all it takes is the wind to blow and she's turned on. :rofl:


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

I love to cuddle, and agree groping does tend to be a turn off for my wife. took me a while to get it, but the non groping cuddle seems to work out better in the long run. 

Cuddling is porovocative, and spooning in bed in either direction can lead to love making. Or not. But there nothing like it. My wife didn't want to cuddle for a very long time, and I had to convince her it was not a ruse to get sex. Which was hard, because as it is provocativem it can provoke some honest to goodness excitement that one has to ignore to convince the other one is not just after sex. 

I do not grope, but I refuse to try to hide my excitement when I lay behind my wife. 

Just laying still has proven very successful over time.


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## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

The groping isn't all the time maybe in the heat of things she might be wearing something a little reviling at the time and then my mind starts to wonder but most of the time she will lay on me and we will watch tv and I will put my arms around her and hold her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Then it's a communication issue then, what does she want exactly? She should tell you instead of just turning her head and sulking and getting p-ssed because you don't know. Unless she told you before and you didn't listen (as that's when my wife decides to play this game too) , but I dunno...


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yes your wife isn't playing fair. She says you aren't doing it right then refuses to tell you why. That puts you in a no win situation.


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