# Crib death and then a divorce.



## MrsPotter (Mar 7, 2013)

Hello Lovelies...

I have recently buried my son who dies one week away from six months to crib death. Prior to this I left my H for a month because he was exemplifying he did not want to be a part of the Family (online dating sites...New random women friends...lacking providership etc). I came back and ten days later our son died while he expressed he wanted this family (God writes his own story). When I got back in town he had lost his job because he wasn't going to work while we were gone. We have the funeral and he seems more interested in talking and catching up with the people at the home going dinner. Mind you I had to pay rent from DC when we were gone. Money I needed for new clothing, shoes...After baby blues, my clothes and shoes don't fit no more because my body morphed. Since January 2014 he has not paid a dime of rent....food...gas etc. 

Otherwise, I was laid off because they felt I needed time to grieve (I went to work a month after my son died after being a stay at home mom). Now in two weeks we have to move. He hasn't made arrangements for us just simply "the best thing is to move in with my mom so we can save for a house". This is a 31 y.o man talking. I have been preparing to embrace myself for the next hardship. But what has he been doing; on his samsung face booking, chit chatting about football, and not moving from the same spot all day. Befriending random women he don't know on a phone his dad pays. This is aggravating. I do not believe him and do not see his ambition. I realize I have made it easy for him but it was more for the safety of me. 
I have made arrangements for me and qualified for a homeless prevention program. But I have to be in a shelter for a few days. He is unaware just assuming we are going to put our stuff in his mom storage move in with her and things will get better. Sounds stupid. Correct me if I am wrong, but this situation only seems like it's going to worsen. His mom already has a full house of adult males in his family living with her...One with violent mental illness (his brother, 28). He already is under his mom's bosom it's not a good look for a woman like me. I believe in hard work and it only seems like this will make him lazier. Anyways so given these circumstances I believe it's best I file for a separation or divorce. He has abandoned his duties as a provider at the cost of homelessness without a gesture of "oh **** I am ****ing up I can't move my wife in with my mom at 31...it's a bad look". 

I am two weeks away from my grand exit. But before I close this...I explained to him instead of treating me like a roommate I am his wife. If that's the life he wants be respectful and the way he asked me to marry him....ask me for a divorce instead of n pretending like I can't see right through him and his desires. He said he did not want a divorce. But is it just me or is this man and life of near poverty screaming "leave me". Honest truth I feel he is an opportunist. I moved him back in with his mom months ago and I came home and my door was kicked in and he said "he lives here too" but does not pay rent. 


I need clarity and advice before I inform him that he is free to grace this world with his presence and all he has to offer. 

Warm regards.
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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I am sorry for your loss. :-((( (((hugs))))

I don't have advice but it sounds like you need more time to grieve.

Take care.
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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

I am so so sorry for your loss. May God give you and your family the needed strength to get thru this difficult time.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm very sorry for your loss. But as far as your husband goes... It doesn't seem like the issues you had with your husband were ever dealt with. Until they are, why even attempt to make things work?

C
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