# How to catch him



## Aly35 (Feb 19, 2012)

Hi

My husband of 14 years has told me he has had an affair for 14 months and we are going to counselling to try to make it work. He has agreed to cease all contact with her.

I have decided to go for it but need to make one last check (as he lied so well last time). I was thinking of doing this in the Autumn. I know many will say you either trust or you don't but I need to make one last check before committing forever.

I can't use a key logger as he would contact her from work. He has an iPhone. Someone told me to swap the number stored under her name in his phone with mine and any messages he is trying to send to her come to me. I like the sound of this but he has deleted her entry.

Can anyone suggest something I could do to be sure?

many thanks


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

One thing that might work is putting a VAR (voice activated recorder) in his car. Having 2 is a good idea. This way you have one in the car and one to swap out with it quickly. You would have to find a place to hide it so that it cannot fall out while he's driving. Also you might want to use some of that sick-on velcro to hold it in place.

I don't understand why you cannot use a key logger. It can be installed so that he does not know it's there. So if he does use the home computer you will catch what he's up to.

Pay a detective to follow him.

Why would you wait unti Autumn?


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## Aly35 (Feb 19, 2012)

He doesn't do anything suspicious at home, they would email during work time so I can't put it in his work PC.

A VAR is a great idea, thanks.

I was going to wait until Autumn as I think that is ample time for the guilt to die down and for them to start again if they are going to - I don't want to be a snoop forever............


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Aly35 said:


> He doesn't do anything suspicious at home, they would email during work time so I can't put it in his work PC.
> 
> A VAR is a great idea, thanks.
> 
> I was going to wait until Autumn as I think that is ample time for the guilt to die down and for them to start again if they are going to - I don't want to be a snoop forever............



Are you with your husband 100% of the time when he's at home? I also thought that my husband was not doing anything suspicious at home... until I put a key stroke monitor on the home computer ... this was a long time ago. 

As for waiting until Autumn. If he is still having an affair he is exposing you to STDs. Are you really willing to be exposed for many more months?

Do you know who this woman is? Do you know where she lives?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Aly,
trust but verify. I continue to check on fWW, that just how it is for us. One of the consequences is my need to check on her from now on. She has made that choice when she desided to stay with me. 

I suggest you stay on top of it for awhile, and don't wait until next fall. The last thing you want to do is invest in a fake R. 

So go get a VAR, and keep an eye on his cell. Besides he should be alot more transparent then he seems to be!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Honestly, there's nothing you can do so you cn know "for sure". Your husband could be using any number of apps on his iPhone to communicate with her. He could have a throw away phone. He could be talking to her during work hours on a work phone and email. 

The idea of a VAR is likely the most useful, but you'll obviously only catch the conversations (if any) he has in there. So it won't really prove anything "for sure".

Like the others, I wouldn't wait till fall.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Did anyone tell you to get yourself tested for STD?


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

I am a little not comfortable for your waiting till autum....


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Aly35 said:


> Hi
> 
> My husband of 14 years has told me he has had an affair for 14 months and we are going to counselling to try to make it work. He has agreed to cease all contact with her.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

Aly35 said:


> Hi
> 
> My husband of 14 years has told me he has had an affair for 14 months and we are going to counselling to try to make it work. He has agreed to cease all contact with her.
> 
> ...


Download a iPhone backup reader or extrater online yes there is a free version and do A back up on his iphone before it syncs then read what was on it you can read the backup from the last sync.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Aly35 (Feb 19, 2012)

movin on said:


> Download a iPhone backup reader or extrater online yes there is a free version and do A back up on his iphone before it syncs then read what was on it you can read the backup from the last sync.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Aly35 (Feb 19, 2012)

Aly35 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've got it... I'll put a key logger onto our home laptop. He sometimes checks his work email remotely if we've been away. That'll get me the password to log onto his emails so I cam check from time to time, phew
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Aly35 (Feb 19, 2012)

rickys said:


> Put voice recorder in his car and look for some evidence which may help you to find his cheating....


Do they still work if he listens to talk radio?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Hi Aly You could Polygraph him say every 6 months or so


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Aly35 said:


> Do they still work if he listens to talk radio?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


well, you will have to go through the recording and hear the radio but most people turn the radio down or off when on the phone


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