# My husband physically assaulted me



## lorac77 (Apr 26, 2009)

We had a big fight last night that resorted to physical violence. He screamed and threw a crumpled paper at me so in return I threw my crutches at him. I had a foot surgery weeks ago that's why I'm using crutches. Unfortunately, when I threw them I lost my balance and ended up on the floor. He then slugged me on the head twice while I was down on the floor. I'm 129 lbs. and he's 240 lbs. You can't imagine the pain he inflicted on me. I was in shock. I didn't call the police because I'm embarassed that my neighbors will see what's going on with us.

The fight carried on this morning. Verbal attacks were thrown at me. He said even after being for 23 yrs. he never trusted me. I don't know where that came from because I never cheated on him or have done anything to make him feel that way. He's 15 yrs older than me and at age 62 he's becoming more cranky and grumpy everyday. And he had the nerve to call me a ***** when he was the one who started the fight. We've had fights before and make up the following day. But this time, I think I can't go on and continually live with a person who doesn't trust me. I'm very hurt physically and emotionally. I don't need someone who talks down on me and doesn't respect me. 

Thanks for reading. It's make me feel better that I got this off my chest. I might just divorce. I will be happier without him.


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## ladylouise (Mar 25, 2009)

You should have called the police. You just might need the incidence report. I am sorry you are going thru this, but no man or women should ever resort to physical violence.


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

i agree with ladylouise. you should have called the police (thank you ladylouise). you have nothing to be embarassed about. well, except for that throwing crutches because he threw a piece of paper at you thing. 

a relationship does not de-evolve to violence in one evening. 

what's going on?


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

Has he ever been physically aggressive with you before? Does he have a history of being verbally abusive? You mention that he's been getting "crankier - what does that mean? Has he always been distrustful of you or is this "paranoia" new?

If the abuse is nothing new, by all means, get out of there. Even if it's not new, I suggest you find a safe place from which to ponder the situation and let things cool off. The fact that he hit you is bad, and just as bad is the fact that he is unrepentant and continued (verbally) the following day.

If the physical abuse is a new and uncharacteristic behavior after 23 years of a regular marriage, you should enlist family members and friends in helping you get him in to see a doctor. There are myriad of medical reasons why he could be having a sudden change in behavior and personality and becoming cranky, grumpy and aggressive. It could be early onset alzheimers, a neurological disorder, a brain tumor, etc. Given his older age, it would be wise for him to get thoroughly checked out by a doctor given this behavior. 

BUT, you are not in a safe place to make that happen. Assume that he WILL hit you again and that another incident could result in serious harm or death. It's so easy to minimize these things or throw them under the rug due to embarrassment, disbelief, love or just plain-old getting used to them happening. Please don't do that. You are a healthy young woman. Do you want to let this man maim or kill you? Don't fool yourself into a sense of safety that does not exist. Ask someone close to your husband to encourage him to get to a doctor.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

You can still call the police. I'm assuming this isn't the first time. I went through a violent relationship before and it only gets worse. Call the police today.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

See how violence can escalate QUICKLY?

He threw a crumpled piece of paper at you, not nice, but certainly not really "violent".

You threw a crutch at him in retaliation to the paper throw, definitely violent and could inflict a major injury if it hit him in the head, but still not a "100% gonna leave a mark" act.

He then punched you twice in the face in retaliation to the crutches.

Police should have been called, but you both should have been charged with domestic violence, not just him.

Don't get me wrong, his final act was "worse" but you assaulted him as well with your crutches.

There is definitely something more going on here than just him "being more cranky as he gets older".


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

I did fail to mention that she acted violently too. In this particular case, I could understand why the police weren't called.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

What kind of psycho husband beats a wife on crutches? Please be safe and find a shelter. There is nothing more sad than domestic violence that ends in death.


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## reidqa01 (Apr 26, 2009)

Sensitive,

Sorry the law would have not looked at it as you have. The crutches would be considered a weapon and as he reacted with fists would be in the legal right.

I agree she must remove herself from home immediately.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

Lorac77 acted violently by throwing the crutches at her husband, he should have walked away but instead he relatiated violently. The police should have been called but she used her crutches as a weapon. She needs to get out of the house immediately. They both need counselling because they both acted violently toward each other. Nothing good comes out of violence.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Sensitive,

The husband was obviously wrong, but so was Lorac, and she started the violence.


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## Tr000thSeeker (May 11, 2009)

Lorac, please keep us posted on your situation. Hope all's well!


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## Roger136913 (Apr 29, 2009)

Personaly to me NO MAN should ever hit his Wife or Girlfriend... I have been with my Wife for 23 years she had a previous marriage. I did not know much about it but knew he hit her once, My wife opened up to me and told me the daily beatings she took!!!!!!

I never raised my hand (s) to my wife in 23 years, I know if I did she would walk out.....
I agree the Police should have been called!!!! I say boot him to the curb if he wants back he needs anger management classes!!!


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