# Confused



## olsen (Oct 30, 2011)

I am 29 years old. At this point in my life, I am not looking for fun anymore but I want to settle down. My GF and I have been together for 4.8 years already. Here is the story.

It all started on a one night stand. I just want her for free sex, then she started going wherever I go, sleeping at my apartment. For some reasons, I didn't ditched her since I was thinking, hey! this is free sex and I kinda like her being around with me! I can't remember what happened next but she became my GF. For the next 2 yrs, I treated her like crap, numerously cheated on her. I was caught 80% of the time since she always checks my phone and ask on my whereabouts. No matter how much crap I treated her, she still wont break up with me.

Now things started to change 2 years ago. I just knew 2 weeks ago that she slept with 2 guys (one night stands). She said that it was her escape on our relationship. And that my "cheating" piled up and she wants to get even with me. That she doesnt feel loved and she always know that I wont ask her to marry me. She already accepted that she will become an old maiden.

Funny thing is, when she started doing that, I slowly grew feelings on her but I was too proud to admit it. I was devastated when I found out on this. We broke up only for two days and I asked her to come back with me. The only thing that I am so pissed is there were so many girls that I missed out during that time. I passed out almost all of them because I felt guilty already on cheating on her. Plus she always know about my whereabouts, for me, I dont know hers because I never really cared much at that point. 

We are back together now, but the feeling still haunts me. Based on her actions now, I can see that she is sincere to change and want to make our relationship work. She even agreed not to go out on her friends anymore on weekends. I asked her to do that for me so I would know how sincere she is and willing she is to give this relationship another trust. She is the kind of girl that would give anything for her man. At this point, I don't trust my decision since I am confused. I wanted to give this another shot but I'm not sure if thats the right thing to do. 


Will we ever be happy knowing that we cheated on each other? Are there people like this with the same situation and have things worked out pretty well for them? Are we making the right risk and not wasting our time? I asked her about why we should get back together, and this was her best answer so far. "Yes, we are. You never loved me, then the next two years, I started to pull away from you. For the 1st time in our relationship, we are finally in the same page." That melted my heart. 

Please, I need honest advice/opinions.


----------



## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

You cheated - she cheated. 
You took care of your needs - she took care of hers.
There was clearly no relationship there.
And why are you pissed at all the girls you missed. I had many opportunities for some 'freebies' whilst in this relationship and marriage, but declined them all as I honoured my end of the agreement. My wife however broke that agreement back in April. I do not for one minute feel pissed that I turned down those opportunities regardless of what she did.
What seems clear in your post is that there was no communication at all between you - neither of you expressed your needs, desires and goals to each other.
Whether or not you can make it work is up to the two of you, but unless you both start being honest with each other both of you will be unhappy.
Agreeing to commit is one thing, sticking to that agreement when all hell breaks loose, the chips are down and the Gods conspire against you - THAT'S the test of a working relationship!


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> You cheated - she cheated.
> You took care of your needs - she took care of hers.
> There was clearly no relationship there.
> And why are you pissed at all the girls you missed. I had many opportunities for some 'freebies' whilst in this relationship and marriage, but declined them all as I honoured my end of the agreement. My wife however broke that agreement back in April. I do not for one minute feel pissed that I turned down those opportunities regardless of what she did.
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

She has learned the way to get your attention is to cheat on you.

Wanna bet how she responds next time she needs to get your attention?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

Shaggy said:


> She has learned the way to get your attention is to cheat on you.
> 
> Wanna bet how she responds next time she needs to get your attention?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 This guys a mess, so's his GF. Miracle(s) needed here, by God of course.

Good insight Shaggy! Here's one big scobby snack for ya......


----------



## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

You cheat...she cheats to get even...when she has had enough and ready to fly you suddenly "grow feelings". I think neither of you is mature enough to handle a true relationship. It is about more than free sex you know. I'm glad you're not my boyfriend...I'd be sitting in jail right now.


----------

