# How common is it for a woman to lie to her husband about being good in bed?



## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

I haven't been getting sex lately from my wife.I've done some research and reading on the topic,and it seems quite often this kind of statement comes in some form or fashion:The belief that it ultimately falls on the man.If he isn't getting sex it's HIS FAULT. It was always my belief that I was good to my wife in bed...She said this in the past.....But now I am starting to doubt it...My wife has been denying me of sex,and many people would say"He probably isn't good in bed."Men who are good in bed can't stop their wives from asking for sex.So my question is how common is it for a woman to just lie to her husband and tell him he's good in bed when he isn't?Could my wife have literally been lying to me for 6 plus years?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Women are MUCH more complicated than that, let me assure you 

What would be the point of telling your only sexual partner that they're better in bed than they are?? If anything, it would be the opposite, so they'd try harder and get kinkier  For me anyway.

Apparently there are scads of weird women, though, who just don't like sex, or their husbands, or something, and they cut their husbands off. I can't relate.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It's probably about as common as husbands lying to their wife about her cooking skills or about not noticing the trashy girl with the short skirt and ridiculously huge breasts.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jack.... stop obsessing. We've already told you what is likely going on, now that she has lost so much weight.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think its pretty common for women to lie as to not hurt their feelings. and I agree its stupid to do because then the man don't try harder or ask her what she likes.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Having read your other threads, I'm pretty sure this is not the reason she's not into sex at the moment. Re-read everyone's advice in the other threads and take it to heart.

Really, really take it to heart.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I like sex and I'm not a martyr, so there's no way that I would lie about something so important. I'm more likely to suggest ways to make things better.

The reason why your W probably has you on short rations right now is because of your attitude regarding anal and condoms.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Jack, your threads are like the movie "Groundhog Day" because they always start from the same spot. You don't read anyone's advice and you are becoming redundant. Maricha and Elegirl had some good advice for you, did you try to implement it or are you still doing the same bullheaded stuff you were doing before.

Remember, a sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

As a wife...the last thing I would want to do is crush my husbands ego. So lying about being bad in bed is a must! If I dont like something I'll usually just be direct about it in a not so mean manner. For instance I'll say "oh that tickles" or "that hurts baby" and divert his attention to something that I do enjoy..thus teaching him along the way -do this...not that-. All women enjoy different things so its impossible for them to know exactly how to make sex amazing for every woman. 

Though after 6 years, I would think that by now she would have at least somewhat made you aware of what she enjoys.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ano said:


> As a wife...the last thing I would want to do is crush my husbands ego. *So lying about being bad in bed is a must!* If I dont like something I'll usually just be direct about it in a not so mean manner. For instance I'll say "oh that tickles" or "that hurts baby" and divert his attention to something that I do enjoy..thus teaching him along the way -do this...not that-. All women enjoy different things so its impossible for them to know exactly how to make sex amazing for every woman.
> 
> Though after 6 years, I would think that by now she would have at least somewhat made you aware of what she enjoys.


Hold it, back up... lying about being bad in bed is a MUST? So as not to crush his ego?? And then you go on to tell how you have been able to teach him what you like, what works, what doesn't.... So.... how in the WORLD do you get that this is LYING to him? LYING to him would be letting him do the exact same thing again and again, and not telling him that those things don't work with you. Lying would be telling him "ohh baby, yea, that's it"... when all the while you are there thinking "my god why isn't this over already?"

Seriously, lying to your spouse is a horrible thing to do. If you don't like something he or she is doing, then TELL him/her. How can anyone expect to have a SATISFYING sex life if they are constantly lying to their spouses?!?! :scratchhead:


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Hold it, back up... lying about being bad in bed is a MUST? So as not to crush his ego?? And then you go on to tell how you have been able to teach him what you like, what works, what doesn't.... So.... how in the WORLD do you get that this is LYING to him? LYING to him would be letting him do the exact same thing again and again, and not telling him that those things don't work with you. Lying would be telling him "ohh baby, yea, that's it"... when all the while you are there thinking "my god why isn't this over already?"
> 
> Seriously, lying to your spouse is a horrible thing to do. If you don't like something he or she is doing, then TELL him/her. How can anyone expect to have a SATISFYING sex life if they are constantly lying to their spouses?!?! :scratchhead:


You're right! That didnt come out right! I wrote that quickly while walking into work!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I feel many times people need to DIG for the real truth..... so many sugarcoat as to not hurt anothers feelings... little white lies... these can add up....I am more the type to lay it on the line....it can even border brutal in a moment if I am ...... not one of my finer personality traits. But when it's good, I can praise the hell out of my husband (for example). 

Deep honest caring communication... if you really want to know how she feels, create an atmosphere where she can tell you, where she feels safe to open up in every way...in turn LISTEN and closely .....and do whatever you can to provide her happiness, pleasing her...showing her - Her Happiness is YOUR happiness... this should begat a more pleasurable sex life. 

We can all stand to learn & grow in our pleasuring each other... many fine books on this subject as well. 

For the husband >> 

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman: Ian Kerner: 

Never Have the Same Sex Twice: A Guide For Couples: 

 Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm 


FOR HER >> Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man:


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

" How common is it for a woman to lie to her husband about being good in bed?"

Hmmm, how common is it for a man to not know if he's good in bed or not? 

You either rock her world or you don't and it's kinda obvious if you do. If it's not obvious you may want to do some homework, Jack. 

Best,

T


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> Having read your other threads, I'm pretty sure this is not the reason she's not into sex at the moment. Re-read everyone's advice in the other threads and take it to heart.
> 
> Really, really take it to heart.


This is your answer Jack.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Seriously, lying to your spouse is a horrible thing to do. If you don't like something he or she is doing, then TELL him/her. How can anyone expect to have a SATISFYING sex life if they are constantly lying to their spouses?!?! :scratchhead:


Now you know all women lie, and fake, about sex.

Wasn't that the general TAM consensus laid down in another thread, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Now you know all women lie, and fake, about sex.
> 
> Wasn't that the general TAM consensus laid down in another thread, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?


Well I certainly missed the memo on that one! that's one thing I don't do...

OP, I don't know how common it actually is, but like others have said, you are over looking the real reasons she is denying you, and they are in your other threads.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Jack must be a troll or fvcking with us or something....NO ONE can be this clueless and dense!! OMG!! :slap:


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

TrustInUs said:


> Well I certainly missed the memo on that one! that's one thing I don't do...
> 
> OP, I don't know how common it actually is, but like others have said, you are over looking the real reasons she is denying you, and they are in your other threads.


I appreciate everyone's advice.My wife and I are currently working things out and are doing better than when this thread was made....But still not where we need to be.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Now you know all women lie, and fake, about sex.
> 
> Wasn't that the general TAM consensus laid down in another thread, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?


Not this bunny. I'm not that selfless and like sex way too much to not to try to improve things if they're not working for me. 

Communication is key, and that includes about sex.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

When we were still together my wife just started a fight when I was underperforming. It was irritating really.


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I thinks it is very common, those white lies intended to spare the husband/BF feeling. My DW did it to me all this years. The only way to really know was, if it is great, she would love and want it more... Words could be lies, but behavior rarely lies.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Hold it, back up... lying about being bad in bed is a MUST? So as not to crush his ego?? And then you go on to tell how you have been able to teach him what you like, what works, what doesn't.... So.... how in the WORLD do you get that this is LYING to him? LYING to him would be letting him do the exact same thing again and again, and not telling him that those things don't work with you. Lying would be telling him "ohh baby, yea, that's it"... when all the while you are there thinking "my god why isn't this over already?"
> 
> Seriously, lying to your spouse is a horrible thing to do. If you don't like something he or she is doing, then TELL him/her. How can anyone expect to have a SATISFYING sex life if they are constantly lying to their spouses?!?! :scratchhead:


I'm sure my wife lies to me all the time.

"That was/is fantastic" "ooohh it feels so big today". I know it's ego stroking but I don't care. Still makes me feel good.

But she is not afraid to tell me if she wants something done a certain way, or she'll grab my hands and move them to where she wants and say "no! THERE".

There is a time for honesty and a time for 'white' lies.

If you tell your husband "actually you suck in bed I'd have more fun with a shop dummy" then don't be surprised if the next day he doesn't initiate.

You can do white lies and truth at the same time.

"That was great, you're such a stud, but next time lets do x,y or z."


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

To be honest, my husband is bad in bed and I am on medication that makes it very hard to be aroused and I still want to have sex with him. I enjoy the bonding and emotional closeness and I like making him happy. When is the last time you bough your wife flowers?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> There is a time for honesty and a time for 'white' lies.


Sorry, 'white' lies don't work for us either. If he's doing something that doesn't work for me, I show/tell what I want. And vice versa. If I'm telling my husband "It feels so big today" then it's the truth. Usually, THAT happens when it's been a longer wait between encounters. But it DOES happen. 

I never tell my husband that he sucks in bed... because he DOESN'T suck in bed. Maybe some people can tell lies and truth at the same time, but I am not one of them.


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