# Introductions are in order



## Durnik

My story got left behind when I had to change names, so here's where I've been:

I met her in high school, but we didn't start dating until college. We dated for 3 years, then got married. Stayed married for 11 years.

I have no formal diagnosis, nothing but my own knowledge and observations, but I'm fairly convinced my wife has BPD. Even when we married, her Dad warned me "You do realize, she's got huge control issues, right?" Had a pretty good handle on it until I lost focus due to Graduate school, getting along so well, and the birth of our daughter.

She was born with a HOST of medical issues. Had her first surgery on day 2, pent almost 4 months in the hospital, an hour away. Even all the fixes, she's still a very unique child, developmentally wise - plus she has CF. We agreed that I'd work, and she would stay home to take care of our daughter.

Fast forward to the birth of our son, and I discovered something rather scary - suddenly, whenever I initiated a conversation about our son, beyond what he did today, the response was chilling. She would break down almost immediately, horrified that I would rather win an argument with her than keep our children safe. Every tiny change to the status quo resulted in this argument which went on for hours.

Meanwhile, I wasn't exactly happy other ways. Where once she cooked and cleaned while I was at work, now she hopped around town with the children - the mall, the zoo, the museum, the park. She controlled the finances, and saw no problem spending $200 at the mall, and then chewing me out for spending $3 on lunch - we had 'fun money' in the budget, but nothing for my lunches. When dinner was cooked, it was now little more than frozen meals or hamburger helper. Sexually, we'd average once every 5 months - and even then, she'd respond with horror after that. I'd wake up the next morning to find her weeping in the bathroom, and when I asked what was wrong, she'd say it felt like I had raped her the night before.

To my great shame, I cheated on her. Came clean, told her everything. Told her I'd do whatever it took, whatever she wanted to make it right. Stayed friends with the other woman, but kept it on the straight and narrow - with my wife's blessing. she made sure of it by reading my every text message, email, phone call, and IM. I got very good at reciting every detail, every nuance of every conversation I had - with anyone. For a year.

I finally called a halt to it when I was having a conversation with my mother, and my wife was in a raging fury that I wouldn't let her read over my shoulder so she could tell me how I should respond - even after my mom called her to assure her that it was, in fact, her that I was talking to. Calling 'enough', I limited her access, and tipped off four months of warfare. 

Finally, I couldn't take anymore, and said I needed to put some space between us, and moved out. We did weekly MC, and still saw each other at church. All I demanded was enough money in the budget for my rent. After about 9 months, I finally worked up the nerve to open my own bank account, and have my check deposited there, whereupon, she promptly filed for separation. 

So here I am, a full year later. Now, the separation is underway, and I have 55 days until I can convert it to a full, official divorce. I see the kids regularly - it took 6 months before I was able to talk her into letting the kids know I had moved out. Boy, was she pissed the first time I brought my daughter over to my place - without asking her permission first. I've had to defend myself against a false rape charge, spent a week in the mental ward after almost killing myself, still have a pair of internet stalkers, am facing bankruptcy, and was summarily fired from my long-time theater company - and all my friends. And for some reason, I'm battling depression, as well.

But I'm learning. I've got a new theatre company, got a handle on the depression, LOTS of therapy under my belt, (slowly) meeting new people, my kids love spending time with me, and it's usually feeling like there IS a way forward, although I can't for the life of me see the path from here. But it exists!


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## Uptown

Durnik said:


> I'm fairly convinced my wife has BPD.... We did weekly MC.


Durnik, my experience is that, if your W does have strong BPD traits, MC will be a waste of time until she has had at least several years of IT to address her more serious issues. The chances are pretty small, however, that a BPDer will stay in therapy long enough to make a real difference. I took my BPDer exW to 3 MCs and 6 different psychologists. She attended therapy sessions every week for 15 years, at enormous cost to me. Sadly, she only played mind games and it was a total waste.



> My story got left behind when I had to change names.


Because you've been a regular TAM member (under a different name), you likely have already read many of the BPD stories on this forum. Yet, if you've not yet had a chance to read my story, you may want to check it out at my posts in Maybe's Thread. If that discussion rings some bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Take care, Durnik.


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## ShameLessLover

Durnik said:


> She controlled the finances, and saw no problem spending $200 at the mall, and then chewing me out for spending $3 on lunch - we had 'fun money' in the budget, but nothing for my lunches.


Durnik, good days are ahead.

One thing that keeps me going is - I control the finances. We often have arguments about this - where all my money goes? Or, why do not i buy a house like all other friends? Why do not you buy me jwellery? You are such a miser! We end up arguing about it. Mostly, she would make me feel guilty about it. We do have a joint account and make sure she has couple of hundred dollars in that always. She keeps buying dresses - and funny - when we argue - she will be like i never do/buy anything for her. I was looking on the bills- my W bought worth $500 of dresses in last three months- Thats just her dresses. Does not include other stuffs.

Well, I wonder- if i am doing wrong keeping my finances under control. But I do know, it will be over if i do not control. Because of zero trust.


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## Durnik

Yeah, Uptown, your story was one of the ones I first encountered, and I really can't tell you how much learning to understand what BPD actually IS has helped. I really feel like that knowledge has been instrumental in moving me past the "I've got to figure out what's HAPPENING here" stage to the "this is a thing which has happened" stage.

As far as finances go, like I said, I'm teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, but I've done my part. Recently had a discussion with a financial councellor, who looked at my entire budget and said "You're doing everything exactly right. You've cut the meat right down to the bone - there's just too much to pay with too little coming in." Which was oddly, encouraging to hear. Even more so, yesterday I caught a whiff of a P/T job interview. Still don't know how I'll manage it with the kids and all, but whatever happens, I'm going to be all right.


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## 3Xnocharm

Durnik, I just started working a second job myself. It sucks to have to do, I cherish my personal time. But since my worthless pig of an ex husband never paid the money he agreed to in our divorce, its become necessary for me. Now I have just traded one struggle for another, it seems.  If you do end up filing bankruptcy, keep your head up. It can be a life saver, I had to do it seven years ago in order to be able to get my divorce from my second husband, and it was a godsend at the time.


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## brokenbythis

My ex has 4 years of therapy under his belt and he's crazier than ever.

I have a saying: Leopards never change their spots. I truly believe the way people are is in their DNA. 

I have no idea what my ex and his therapist discuss every week, since he has made zero progress in the crazy department, immaturity, unwillingness to take responsibility or look at himself, and even hold a conversation discussing business matters without getting defensive and going off the deep end.

He was nuts throughout our marriage, he was nuts when I filed for divorce, and he's nuts now. Nothing's going to change. Just move on.


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## brokenbythis

3Xnocharm said:


> Durnik, I just started working a second job myself. It sucks to have to do, I cherish my personal time. But since my worthless pig of an ex husband never paid the money he agreed to in our divorce, its become necessary for me. Now I have just traded one struggle for another, it seems.  If you do end up filing bankruptcy, keep your head up. It can be a life saver, I had to do it seven years ago in order to be able to get my divorce from my second husband, and it was a godsend at the time.


I do a second job from home to earn extra cash to stuff away in my ever growing bank account I lovingly nickname "my independence fund". I'd rather not do it, but I am ok with it because it keeps me from ever having to depend on someone again.

We filed BK 5 yrs ago due to my ex's never ending spending and general financial irresponsibility, his desire to keep up with the Jones (low self esteem and immaturity issues). He insisted we buy a house we could never afford, because he didn't want to live in a "ghetto" house. He wanted fancy cars to show off to his friends and make him feel better. He wanted vacations we couldn't afford, and wanted to ignore the fact we couldn't pay for any of it. I begged him not to go down this path, and I was always accused of being "controlling" and trying to make his life miserable and rob him of "fun". 

Anyway, today I own my 6 yo car, have no debts whatsoever except $125 on my credit card, just to keep it open as a credit line. I am a debt slave to nobody. And a marriage slave to nobody.

We wrote off over $700k in debt in BK court. $120,000 of that was credit card debt alone. He bought a swimming pool on Amex, expensive guns, gym equipment, big screen tvs, exotic vacations, expensive furniture, solar panels, ridiculous unnecessary home improvements, you name it, on credit cards. 

The day of our creditors meeting was LIBERATING for me. My ex literally wanted to commit suicide, after the court hearing he wouldn't even get out of bed for days, wouldn't talk to me (like it was all my fault I "took it all away" from him!). I can't explain the weight lifted off my shoulders when we got our discharge notice. We handed the overpriced money pit house back to the bank and *I *negotiated $4,000 cash for keys. My ex cried for days, while I secretly rejoiced we were FREE. I was full of hope and looked forward to a better future.

Today my credit score is 735 and I've got a ever growing generous nest egg for MYSELF and my son's future.

Me ex on the other hand, well surprise surprise, he's up to his eyeballs in credit card debt AGAIN, got his $40,000 school loans handed to him to deal with on his own in divorce court, and is paying me child support and alimony, and since he was stupid enough to get some young bimbo pregnant (while we were still married), he's paying her $1500 a month for 18 long years.

BK and divorce freed me from a life of debt slavery and a miserable marriage to a nutbag.

Keep going on your own path, and remember its not forever.


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## brokenbythis

Durnik said:


> Yeah, Uptown, your story was one of the ones I first encountered, and I really can't tell you how much learning to understand what BPD actually IS has helped. I really feel like that knowledge has been instrumental in moving me past the "I've got to figure out what's HAPPENING here" stage to the "this is a thing which has happened" stage.
> 
> As far as finances go, like I said, I'm teetering on the edge of bankruptcy, but I've done my part. Recently had a discussion with a financial councellor, who looked at my entire budget and said "You're doing everything exactly right. You've cut the meat right down to the bone - there's just too much to pay with too little coming in." Which was oddly, encouraging to hear. Even more so, yesterday I caught a whiff of a P/T job interview. Still don't know how I'll manage it with the kids and all, but whatever happens, I'm going to be all right.


I swear to god, I know a woman who was married to an abusive pig. Her ex was a police offer who beat her and their son on a regular basis, cheated on her for 15 years, then ran off with some skank.

She had been a stay at home mom all those years, but I tell ya, I admire her spirit. She said good riddance to the creep, got her alimony and child support (not a lot but enough) and part of his retirement, held her head high and went back to school. Law school in fact.

She confided to me she put herself through law school and supported her son in a top school district, by doing PHONE SEX late at night after her son had gone to sleep. 

She is a successful attorney now. She has a new partner 10 yrs after her divorce, she told me I don't think I want to get married again. I admire her tenacity after all she's been through. Her ex is on to marriage # 4....


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## Durnik

Well, I had a great weekend with the kids - church picnic, 'scary movie' (Disney's the Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy, ha!) and introduced them both to Monopoly.

They're almost all set for the move - they have all been living with my father since I moved out. We had all lived together for years when I eventually moved out with the full intent of moving back someday. If I survived. I asked my Dad to please make sure my family still had a roof over their head while I worked on myself, and he agreed - right up until my wife filed. He's got more than a touch of the nice guy about him, too, but without the resentment/manipulation - he's genuinely happy to give most of the time - and when he doesn't want to, he communicates it. I'm glad they're moving out, though. I kind of feel that was a rotten trick to pull, sticking him with my family even after he was sick of my ex, but I've discussed it with him quite a bit, and he sees it as his contribution to helping me get better. I was still pretty dumbfounded when I heard that her parents were buying her all new furniture and paying for a moving company to move her into the new apartment. 

Kind of rambly thoughts today. I notice I'm usually a bit rattled after I drop the kids off. I figure a long weekend with them, in my small apartment, when I'm not used to having them there all the time, then getting up with a different morning schedule, and then dropping them off with her first thing in the morning... It makes sense that I'm unsettled, and it takes some time to get back in balance. I'm getting my feet back under me faster than I used to, though, which is good.


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## Durnik

So, one thing I do wonder/worry about - I rarely speak to my kids on the phone, for a few reasons.

One, with my boy being 3 and my daughter's speech difficulties, any phone conversation is decidedly one-sided, yet they're both bright enough to get frustrated at me if I try to fake my way through a conversation with them.

Two, my ex tries to 'help' with this by simply putting the phone on speaker (which makes it worse, naturally), letting the two of them talk to me at once, and chiming in on the conversation. Frequently.

Three... breaking NC, even to speak to the children... it's hard. 

I see them regularly, speak with them quite in-depth, and they both know they can speak with me whenever they need. When they're with me, they are WITH me, whether it's all of us watching a movie or going for a walk. I do make it a point to ensure that they know they're free to wander freely from me - store or park - and that they know where I am at all times.

I know it isn't ideal, but it's the best balance I've worked out so far.

On a somewhat different note, my father told me today that he can't wait for her to move out next week. He said "I think you'll understand, but I don't even know how to phrase it. There are things about how the day is arranged - her mother is usually there watching the kids when I get up, and that's awkward. Talk to her about it, and it's only out of the kindness of her heart, and she's only thinking of you, and it's the best of a bad situation... but then it's apparent that there simply IS no other way for it to be. And that's how it is - and it's oppressive and miserable, because her way literally IS the only way, and it always is. Unless you just do it for her, but then you're stuck."

I swear, it's a mutant power - she can obliviate alternatives out of sheer willpower until all that is left is her will. And it's completely invisible, and you feel silly for even trying to argue it exists - but the weight of it is unbearable.


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## moxy

Durnik said:


> But I'm learning. I've got a new theatre company, got a handle on the depression, LOTS of therapy under my belt, (slowly) meeting new people, my kids love spending time with me, and *it's usually feeling like there IS a way forward, although I can't for the life of me see the path from here. But it exists!*


It certainly does, and I have no doubt that you'll find it.


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## Durnik

Well, opened my show. I wish there were some way for my performing to solve, well, ANY of my problems. Even in my darkest times, I knew I was a solid performer, and no one ever managed to convince me otherwise. Now, convincing me that it's a worthless skill that I should feel guilty for enjoying, yes - but never that I wasn't good at it.

The audience was cracking up, until the more serious scene, when they all went completely silent. Later jokes, they continued cracking up for (even got a collective gasp of "Oh, No!! OOoooohhhh...) from a particularly awful joke, which is just about the highest spontaneous praise you can get. And then I got half the audience leaping to their feet on my bow. 

Super proud and delighted tonight


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## Durnik

Well, got laid off this morning. Five and a half years.


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## 3Xnocharm

Oh no! Sorry to hear that Durnik!


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## Uptown

Durnik, like 3X, I'm very sorry to hear that you got laid off from your vocation -- right at the very time you've been doing so well in your avocation (acting). Given that you've worked so hard and made so much progress over the past year, it is such an injustice that you now get kicked in the teeth as you're pulling yourself up onto the ledge.


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## Durnik

To be fair, it's in been in the air for a while. 

We got a new CEO in, and there was nothing but rumors of meetings and reorganization. Made the air pretty foul in there, not knowing what in the world was going on.

The anchor that stabilized me during the storms will only hold me back in the clear sailing. It's time to reach out, try this 'networking' thing I keep hearing about, and find something more palatable, if not outright fulfilling.

I posted something about it on FB, and my wife knew when I had the kids tonight, though... I wonder who's telling tales on me.


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## brokenbythis

Durnik said:


> To be fair, it's in been in the air for a while.
> 
> We got a new CEO in, and there was nothing but rumors of meetings and reorganization. Made the air pretty foul in there, not knowing what in the world was going on.
> 
> The anchor that stabilized me during the storms will only hold me back in the clear sailing. It's time to reach out, try this 'networking' thing I keep hearing about, and find something more palatable, if not outright fulfilling.
> 
> *I posted something about it on FB*, and my wife knew when I had the kids tonight, though... *I wonder who's telling tales on me*.


Sorry to hear about your job loss. Totally sucks.

Facebook... hhmmm.. why are you still on there? IMO FB has ruined more relationships than I care to count. Both romantic and friendships. Gossip, backstabbing, de-friending, pics of "who is that".

My ex found all his skanks on there, and he's at it again, 99% female "friends" he's trying to get in the sack with. So damn sleazy. I deleted my account years ago.


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## BaxJanson

(This is Durnik - the mods decided that I only needed one account, even if this one was known by my stalker. Until they get it fixed...)

Honestly, I'm 70% on it for a single game. The other 30% is professional networking - learning about new auditions in the area, keeping track of what plays are opening around town, communicating with the casts and former cast members.

And maybe it'll even help find that right job for me now. Or a job. Anything, really.


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## BaxJanson

Last weekend was my time with the kids, and she used the time to move out of my father's house (finally!). Her parents paid for movers to come and haul everything and get it set up, and are buying her a new dining room table and living room set. Her best friend organized the house as everything moved in. I learned all this as I dropped the kids off, and got a tour. I'll admit, it's a nice apartment - it better be, the rent comes to exactly what I'm paying in child support and alimony.

Yeah, it hurt. Seeing that she had such a nice place, was trying to make it a home, with plenty of room for the kids - compared to my place with a corner I've laid out for them... The thought that this was a place we all could have lived quite happily, once upon a time... The fact that it's got a built in washer and dryer... The pets...

Of course, then I went to my Dads, and had dinner with him to celebrate her leaving, to discover the piles of stuff she had left behind, with vague instructions that she would come get some of it later, and some of it was ok to throw away. And he reminded me that she has no idea of what it is to live on her own, no real drive to keep a place clean, and has some TERRIBLE parenting habits.

I'm still waay better off without her, but still... a little tender.


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## Uptown

BaxJanson said:


> I'm still waay better off without her.


Yes, you are Bax/Durnick. Moreover, I expect your kids will find that smaller space in the home of the healthy parent (i.e., you) to be calmer and more homelike than the larger space in the apartment of an emotionally unstable parent.


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## BaxJanson

Well, I've landed a PT position with Walmart (paying a pittance and a mite each month!) but it's work, and its a set schedule, so I'll be able to audition for my next role - got one in two weeks for "I love you, you're perfect, now change" 

Got everything moved into my Dad's basement, and am slowly unpacking. Got the entire apartment packed, moved, and cleaned in 24 hours - I am a MASS of bruises! Not crazy about coming back home, but he and I have lived together before, and we make good roommates. Good conversation here and there, and stay out of each other's way the rest of the time. 

My daughter was put under for a scan and cavity filling today. The CF doctor said that if he didn't know better, he'd swear she didn't have CF. She's got almost no spotting, no scar tissue, little damage at all, hardly any mucus or pus buildup, and no signs of infection - and its near miraculous in someone nearly 10.

With losing my job and moving back into the house, my X has been getting kind of chatty with me - primarily opening with questions or info about the kids, then branching from there. Invited me over for dinner at their new place some time next month. It feels like hoovering. I'm in a precarious position right now, and the divorce deadline is drawing near.

Of course, she invited me to come to the doctor's with her today, told me that it would be between 8:30 and 11 - she would check and let me know. Then at 9:30, I get a message "I guess that's a no on you coming to the doctor's today, then." I did call her right up after that, and talked to D10 before she went under, though. 

I cannot wait for things to quiet down for a bit - every time I try to create some kind of schedule/plan for my life, the whole thing gets shaken back down to bedrock within a week. 

But I'll never get there unless I get these boxes unpacked, so I'm going to go do another one.


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## Uptown

Bax, thanks for returning to give us an update on your situation. Am glad to hear that you've found a PT job and have successfully moved into your Dad's basement. Yes, you are wise to be wary of hoovering attempts by your Ex.


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## BaxJanson

XW just picked up the kid. We were discussing my new hob schedule, and hers. She admitted to me that her current job is winding down for the year, and that she is hoping she can work a few part-time jobs during october to bank up enough money to take Novemeber and December off. She said "Between child support and the money d9 gets in SSI, that should pay the bills."

I'm not exactly sure what all makes up the ugly ball of emotional phlegm this brings up in my gut, but I know I don't care for it.

Mean while, it really looks like my father's job is next on the chopping block. They don't want to fire him - he's been there 15 years, built the company, and has interacted with virtually every employee - but this weekend, they deactivated his computer accounts, so he's just going to have to sit and read a book.

I know that the only constant is change, but I would REALLY appreciate a chance to adapt to one disaster before the next one comes along.

At least my daughter and I put together her halloween costume - she decided to be cruella de vil, and we spent saturday visiting thrift stores putting together the costume, rather than merely buying one at the costume store. Looks pretty sharp, if I do say so myself.


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## Uptown

BaxJanson said:


> I'm not exactly sure what all makes up the ugly ball of emotional phlegm this brings up in my gut, but I know I don't care for it.


My guess, Bax, is that you don't care for her intention to use you as a meal ticket while she goofs off in November and December.


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## BaxJanson

So, I got a new job. Nothing great, but it's a paycheck, and I've got room to advance pretty quickly if I stay here any length of time. So, that's good. Plus, it's working the backroom, so I'm moving around, caring boxes all day, which should help my waistline a fair bit.

Halloween's coming up, and X is at it again. She's throwing a big pumpkin carving party - she always made a big deal about it, although I usually ended up carving all the pumpkins. She invited my sister and her kids, both my parents, her parents, and me. Made sure to note that she planned it later in the afternoon, so I'd be able to come if I had to work that day. And that she really hopes she can go trick-or-treating with me and the kids. Part of me says 'it's a holiday, there's no reason to get snoopy. Just spend an awkward holiday with your ex - you'll be doing it for years, after all.' And the rest of me says 'we will have been divorced for less than a week. I'm gonna do what I want with them, and if you don't like it, perhaps you should have made some confessions before calling your lawyer!'

The separation becomes an official divorce in 10 days. I feel somewhat awkward about just pulling the trigger, without discussion. But we've discussed our marriage twice since we got separated, and both times she assured me hell would freeze over before she considered any of my requests. So, yeah. I'm done.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Uptown

Bax, congratulations on getting the new job! And I'm glad to hear you are firm in being "done" with your Ex.


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## BaxJanson

Well, today's the day. Kind of. I need to scrape together enough money for court fees, and then find a way to 'ensure the delivery of the motion for dissolution' to her, which I suppose means a courier of some sort. 

I'm not going to lie, it's a pretty down day. Today, more than I have recently, I hear the echoes from the past 11 years of my life.

Things like:

"Boy, why is it every shirt you own shows off your man boobs like that one does?"

"Why would you need to exercise? Seeing you doing it just makes me feel fat."

"We don't have any money for you to buy lunch because it isn't budgeted. The $400 I spent at the mall today came out of our entertainment funds - we don't have any funds set aside for you to buy food. Besides, it isn't like it would hurt you to skip a few meals."

"When I see you happy like that, it makes me afraid of you - like you could do whatever you wanted. Like if you wanted sex, you'd just rape me and I wouldn't be able to stop you."

"I know it's been 4 months since we had sex! It comes up every time we argue, and I feel bad about it, so you should just leave it alone - but you can't, because you're a sex addict!"

"You just don't care about my happiness or the health of the children. They could die as a result of this, and you don't care, so long as you win the argument."

"I'm crying because I thought you were a loving husband and father, and it disappoints me to learn that you aren't. Because what kind of loving father doesn't care if his kids get killed?" 

"You're right - I was wrong. There, are you happy? I'm always wrong - I'm always the bad guy. I never win an argument."

And of course, my personal favorite, 

"I'm punching/scratching myself because you're making me want to go get a knife and slit my wrists, and I'm trying not to!"

Hmm. Where are those forms, again? I can live on ramen for a few weeks.


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## 3Xnocharm

UGH. Wow. Good that you remember these things, Bax, it just makes it that much easier. What a joy she was.


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## BaxJanson

Had a nice Halloween with the kids. My daughter's costume was spectacular - she and I put together a cruella de vil costume from scratch. Invited xw to meet us at my mom's place, so she can take pictures. I get home, too find that she's been there, picked up d9 at my place, and took them over to her mom's place. Bugged me a bit because they ended up being an hour late getting them to me.

Anyway, I also finished sanding my lumber for the bed I'm building. Applied the first coat of stain, and let the kids help. D9 ended up being the one most into it, and stood there carefully dabbing to make sure there were no streaks. She was les interested in the belt sander, but gave it a whirl, anyway. I love seeing what my kids are capable out when they're treated like competent adults. They're both so quiet and mature (although they've taken to watching people play with toys on youtube. If I have to hear one more grown woman making a Barbie doll voice, I'm going to be ill.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BaxJanson

Boy, have I been busy! Between the new job, renovating the living room, building my bed, and hitting the town (both to meet up with friends, and myself) a night in is becoming a rare commodity. Theatre work is on hold for a little while, but there is one lady that I've connected with several times now. She's even more busy than I am, but we've made to sure to connect with each other at least once a month for a while now. I'm still no good at flirting, but we get along well and have fun together. I figure if I get friendzoned a few times, eh - at least I've made more friends, right?


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## BaxJanson

It's my day off, and XW just called me.

It seems that my 3yo son, who I get tonight, decided to wake up at 4 in the morning. He spent the morning at work with her, and has now fallen asleep in the back of her car. So she thought she'd offer me the chance to get him early today. 

Of course, me saying "no, I don't want to spend the extra time with him" means that she has to wake him up and force him to go to school, where he'll be exhausted, but if that's what I want, that's ok, too.

All hyperbole is exact quotes from her. 

I accepted, because I'm planning on woodworking this afternoon, and he enjoys watching me. Plus, I do like spending the one-on-one time with him. It sure is good to see his mother hasn't changed, though.


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## Uptown

Yes, that is the BPDer-type behavior you know so well. Nice of her to give you the option to "force him to go to school, where he'll be exhausted."


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## BaxJanson

To be fair, as she left while dropping him off, she did admit that "the part about having to wake him up and take him to school" might have sounded a bit more manipulative than she intended. I'll give her a few points back for that.


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