# Are these feelings normal when seperating??



## Pinkpanther (Dec 17, 2010)

Hi everyone. 

Basically me and my husband are seperating. At the moment I live in another country due to my husbands job. We seperated before xmas, it was my decision due to his drinking and getting violent. It was along time coming and I had no choice but to make that decision as I was scared around him and just couldn't relax with him. He was being very selfish, putting himself first and saying he is only responsible for himself (thank god we have no kids). I kept asking him to stop drinking and he said he will do it when he is ready. Since xmas he has moved out, but im still in the flat we shared. Im here now until the beginning of march. Im finding it very hard as all my family and friends live in the UK so basically im here on my own and hes still down the road. I have a job which finishes beginning of march, so once thats done im going bk home. While im out here i feel like my life is in limbo. I keep crying all the time. At first i felt ok up till last week, I felt really good about my decision as i know i have done the right thing for myself. But as im packing my things, im feeling really frustrated. Finding im leaning towards my husband but guessing its because i have no one else out here and in a way he is my safety blanket. I just feel really frustrated cos things could have been different if he just done what i asked and changed and we could have still been together. But I know i need to get my head round the fact that he didn't change so i need to accept that and move on. Family seem to think i will be alot better when im back home with them instead of out here on my own and my husband still down the road. Can anyone relate to this? My emotions are all over the place at the moment and not sure what I am feeling is normal? I just feel really really sad at the moment. Even tho i dont want to be with him for a while he was begging me, but now he has accepted it i feel sad. Suppose i wanted him to feel devasted without me cos hes hurt me. But then its still nice knowing someone wants you even if you dont want them. Ive also got feelings of jealousy going on, and i really dont want to feel like this x


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## Pinkpanther (Dec 17, 2010)

Had a better day today. If anyone can relate, any feedback would be great x


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

PinkPanther...I didn't respond b/c you know where I'm at on this. Just keep hanging in there. You're going to make it.


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## keke1 (Dec 26, 2010)

Hi,

What you are feeling is normal.....Seperation and Divorce is an emotional roller coaster...I have been there!

go to this website it helped me so much.... DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups .....it is an awesome tool it gives you a face to this matter...you are not alone even if you feel you are sometimes....there are so many people out here dealing with this same situation....don't allow your emotions dictate your actions into going back to your husband before you or him are ready it will only lead to more disaster....Good Luck and May God Bless You!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

These feelings are very normal for all of us who have walked in your shoes. It's hard and emotionally draining. It sounds as though you have made the best decision. Try not to back--but, focus on your future. Look forward to getting back to your family. They will give you strength and comfort you. I don't know what I would do without my brothers and mother. With them always there for me I know I am not alone.

Hang in there!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Pinkpanther said:


> We separated before xmas, it was my decision due to his drinking and getting violent. It was along time coming and I had no choice but to make that decision as I was scared around him and just couldn't relax with him. He was being very selfish, putting himself first and saying he is only responsible for himself (thank god we have no kids). I kept asking him to stop drinking and he said he will do it when he is ready.


But you don't have kids. You are free to leave, to go back to your own home, friends, family..a support network. I'd do it and do it fast. The longer you linger in the hopes that he'll change the more likely that you'll make the mistake of trying to get back with him. 

Get out while you can. Toss the ball in his court and leave him to himself. There's nothing you can do to save him, trust me on this. Good luck.


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