# what did you see



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

after discovery of an affair, after choosing to try to work things out what kind of things did you see your WH change about himself.

and has it lasted ……..how is he different. is there any change in values?


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## tooshy (Jul 25, 2013)

I saw my husband become a lot more transparent without my asking. I saw him angry at himself, but I confused it as anger about missing his AP. I saw him become willing to talk about anything and answer any questions I had. That lasted for about 6 months before he started getting irritable and frustrated about answering the questions I still had. We are 14 months post D-day and have made a lot of progress, but we are nowhere near healed yet.


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## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

I also saw transparency and a real effort to convince me that he would never do this again. He has been much more affectionate in the small ways, hugs, kisses, kindness instead of the coolness and impatience he had before. He listens to me better now and seems grateful that I have given him another chance.

During his virtual affair, I hesitate to say EA because, even though if never got physical as the OW was 1000 miles away, it was much more than just a crush or an emotional thing, he found things to complain about, assume the worst of whatever I said, read into it that I was being mean, which was really more of a reflection of him. It isn't like that now. We now communicate much better most of the time.

And, of course, he's no longer trying to think of things to stay away from home so he can have more texting/sexting time with her. That, and she, is over. has been for over a year now so i can finally start to believe he's sincere.


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## nikoled (Mar 12, 2014)

We are only 7 weeks post d-day, but my husband has made a lot of changes in less than 2 months. He is much more loving and protective toward me. He is very focused on our relationship. He has given up drinking, smoking, staying up all night, basically bad unhealthy habits. He has replaced with a healthy lifestyle- eating, exercising, sleeping. He is happy most of the time although when I'm upset he does get sad and he does feel shame and remorse at what he did. He is transparent to the extent that a character in a book he was reading had the same last name as the OW so he asked right away if I was uncomfortable with him reading the book. He is trying harder than he ever has. Yes, his values are different, his culture is different, really everything is different. He was in a BAD place during the A. So he has had big changes to make. So far so good. But we are only 7 weeks out.


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