# Stretch marks????Or beauty marks... It's in the eye of the beholder



## 2Ls (Feb 16, 2014)

I just wanted to share this moment with you because it made me change my thoughts about the way I see myself and how hard I think we are on ourselves sometimes when really the people that love us don't see us in the same light we see our selves. It's with so much love and not with these tainted glasses. It's amazing how seeing something from my husbands eyes could change my feelings so much so. 
I am at the moment just over five months pregnant with our first child. Having a high risk pregnancy and have been bed ridden and in a wheel chair for over three months now.
Last night before I went to bed I jumped in the tub cause I was feeling kinda sore from the day. When I got out I was doing the usual smearing lotion on my itching belly and boobies (it's so weird how itching my skin has gotten since it's stretching) and I started noticing little purple kinda marks on my skin that looked like bruises on one spot on my chest. I thought it might have been from our cat stepping on me at night when I'm sleeping. Then I realized it was stretch marks coming out from growing so much more. I've never had that happen before, I've grown a lot and gained and lost weight before fifty five pounds even and that never happened. I guess I must have been making a bit of a sour face in front of the mirror and didn't notice My husband had come into the room while I kept putting the lotion on. He came up and saw me rubbing the spots with lots of lotion and said "Are you getting stretch marks love?" And I said yah I think so and he smiled and said "Those marks will mark the most beautiful time in our life, the time when you carried our first baby and every time I look at them all I will see is these beautiful little spots that bring back all these amazing memories of us becoming first time parents. And they will make me so so happy. They are far from blemishes on your skin Love, but beauty marks and you need to see them that way cause that's the way I will always see them. They are something to be happy about not sad." And he rubbed my belly and smooched my cheek and went to change the laundry in the basement. I'm glad he walked away cause it made me get a little teary. It sounds so very superficial to have even been remotely upset about such a little thing when my god all the crazy things my body has gone through to hold on to this little one, being rushed by ambulance to the emergency, so many miscarriage scares, what's a few little marks!

I just had never seen that before on my skin and it looked out of place. But my husband is right and that makes me really happy that he sees things... And me in that way.  I'm such a lucky lady... And no more sour faces in the mirror. 

Just wanted to share... If only we saw our selves the way the people that love us most do could you imagine how much love we would feel for our selves if that's the case. I am going to really try hard to from now on. And I have asked him to do the same, to see him self as I see him, with so much love.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

That is beautiful! Thanks for sharing!

After our first baby, I was worried about how my stretch marks looked. I told dh and he said, "They are beautiful! Let me touch them!"

That was definitely the right answer.


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## 2Ls (Feb 16, 2014)

:-D that makes me so very happy to know that there are these men out in the world whom see past all the photo shopped perfection and see the perfection in real beauty. I told my Dad about what he said and he responded by saying "you have spent all this money covering your whole body with someone else's art work with all your tattoos. And now you are creating your own with the love of you, your husband and your baby those are the ones you should be the most proud of." It's wonderful to have healthy male figures in life.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

My DH says they are the result of love....He says a lot of women won't have babies because they are scared of the marks...he is proud that he married a women that gave him four babies...


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Honestly, I think it's kind of sad that we live in such a shallow society that women are afraid to have children for fear of stretch marks and how their body will change. The human body is amazing and to think that in just 9 months a baby is created is remarkable. I have stretch marks all over my breasts and some on my stomach, but they don't bother me. I also have scars from surgeries and from growing up as a child. They all tell a story and are not something to be ashamed about.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I see them as a sign of motherhood... how could anyone fail to see the beauty in that?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Sandfly said:


> I see them as a sign of motherhood... how could anyone fail to see the beauty in that?


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

Without mentioning this thread, I just asked my cellulite hating hubby what he thought about stretch marks. He said that he has _always_ thought that my stretch marks, from carrying his babies, were sexy.

That was news to me, but I'll take it!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Sandfly said:


> I see them as a sign of motherhood... how could anyone fail to see the beauty in that?


Because the physical evidence of motherhood is not necessarily valued. When the pictures of women over 35 were displayed in that thread in the Men's Clubhouse, were people commenting on the physical beauty of motherhood? Did those women look like they had had children at all?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anonymous07 said:


> Honestly, I think it's kind of sad that we live in such a shallow society that women are afraid to have children for fear of stretch marks and how their body will change. The human body is amazing and to think that in just 9 months a baby is created is remarkable. I have stretch marks all over my breasts and some on my stomach, but they don't bother me. I also have scars from surgeries and from growing up as a child. They all tell a story and are not something to be ashamed about.


We have the wrong values, as a society, at least on a superficial level.

But on a deeper level, perhaps more individual, we have the right ones, I think.

My dh was amazed at what my body went through to give birth. He knows who gave me all that pain and who has caused damage to my body. I don't know that he has ever expressed that exactly to me, but we both know the truth of it.

Actually, he did make a statement about this once . . .

We had four children, but only one girl. I wanted to try for another one before I was too old (I was 37). I expressed this to dh, and he expressed reluctance, telling me, "I feel responsible for your health." 

I was touched by that.

We did end up having a fifth, another boy! 

We are done now. My body really cannot undergo another pregnancy. I know my husband appreciates what I have done for him. He does not necessarily express it verbally, but I know it is in his heart and I certainly see it expressed in his actions.


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