# Wife cheated Divorce in progress and she wants her cake



## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

In April I discovered my wife cheated. Said she was sorry then carried on and I gathered more evidence. Now said she does not want to try so I have filed for divorce. Its early days but she is saying I need to pay half a mortgage of £1200 per month plus child maintenance £563 and also spousal maintenance to be confirmed. 

I pointed out that the two kids need to have a place they can consider home with both parents. If I was to pay 50% of her mortgage I would have just £400 to rent a place. This will at best get me a student flat. rents here are 950 to 1000 for a 2-3 bed in a fairly rough area. I was wondering if anyone has any tips. We go into mediation soon and I want to keep the cost of solicitors down


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Why did you leave? If you are expected to pay, move back in and kick her out. If she wants out, she can leave.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The mortgage payments (or her housing in general) should come out of the child and spousal amounts. Not in addition to those amounts. But talk to a lawyer. 

Does she work? How old are the kids?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## catcalls (Oct 31, 2012)

you need to get legal advice soon and dont move out of the house because you are the man. tell her to get out. get a var to make sure she does not spring any surprises and try to get you out

have a look here for doing some preliminary calculations

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org....calculator/?&gclid=CNecx8n67bcCFVDJtAodzgYAXw


good luck and be strong and calm


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Did you ever out the guy to the team parents and his wife?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Why are you leaving? You didn't cheat she did.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Unfortunately your case is typical.

Wife cheats, hard working husband pays so much in support that he's barely got enough left to cover a cheap apartment.

As for your question- find out what typical support payments are in your area and try to negotiate a better deal for yourself. 

If your wife wants out bad enough and wants to avoid high legal costs, she might settle for something less.

One concern is that her numbers are so specific it seems she may have already done her homework and knows what she's entitled to.

Remember spousal support isn't forever, neither is child support but it lasts longer in most cases.


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## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

tulsy said:


> Why did you leave? If you are expected to pay, move back in and kick her out. If she wants out, she can leave.


I have not left the house yet. she wants me to but I am very happy were I am until the house is sold.


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## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

PBear said:


> The mortgage payments (or her housing in general) should come out of the child and spousal amounts. Not in addition to those amounts. But talk to a lawyer.
> 
> Does she work? How old are the kids?
> 
> ...



She does some casual work approx 200-400 a month

We have two children 11 and 8


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

SR125H said:


> I have not left the house yet. she wants me to but I am very happy were I am until the house is sold.


What are her reasons why you should leave? Tell her that it's your house, you pay the bills, and if she no longer wants to be married and live together, she should leave. Also, I would get all of her stuff out of the master bedroom into a spare bedroom and redecorate the room to your liking. It's YOUR room now.


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## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

GutPunch said:


> Did you ever out the guy to the team parents and his wife?


Reported him to the county welfare officer. Wife was sent letter and tried to call twice. I know they are out together this sunday so a good opportunity to ensure she knows. I do know they are now splitting up and selling house so something must have blown up sooner than he expected.


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## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

Tonight she said she is not entitled to legal aid so was expecting me to pay legal fees and then said she was not sure she wants to go with mediation. So she wants to pay expensive solicitors and have me pay. I do not think so.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Unbelievable...she cheats, wants you to leave, live in poverty and your supposed to say yes ma'am. I would feed her something but it wouldn't be cake.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Unbelievable...she cheats, wants you to leave, live in poverty and your supposed to say yes ma'am.


This happens ALL THE TIME.

Welcome to the divorce legal system. 

Guy pays the house bills during the marriage, girl cheats, guy pays her support for years, and if there's kids she stays home with the kids, and the combined support is so much that guy barely has enough to live on.

_Note: Sometimes the woman is the breadwinner and the roles are reversed but that's not the typical scenario._


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

lenzi said:


> This happens ALL THE TIME.
> 
> Welcome to the divorce legal system.
> 
> ...


It's even worse in England.


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## SR125H (May 2, 2013)

tom67 said:


> It's even worse in England.


This is not filling me with confidence.

I worked out that with maintenance and benefits she will likely be better off than me. I cannot pay my half of the mortgage as well as live in another property. I think she is waking up to this now.

My solicitor has said she will have to pay her own fees for solicitor so at least thats of comfort


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