# I'm human please don't judge



## dmggds

I have been with my wife for 12 plus years, 2 married. before we got married her mother moved in with us and our two kids. After our honeymoon things were not the same for a couple of months I'm not sure if her money being there and we really did not get along has anything to do with it. For 4 months she would tell me she is tired has a headache or goes fast to sleep, she would be up when I get home from work on her cellphone and he minute I get out the shower she is sleeping. As time went on I thought there was something wrong with me, I went out with a friend of mine and met The Devil Herself. It quickly escalated to being Facebook friends to texting (nothing sexual) as months went on my wife only wanted me to hold her and not touch any part of her body and kept denying me sex. Well my unselfish vulnerable self fell for the apple without thinking with my heart when I slept with her. I ended it and after I did she was threatening to run my wife over. mind you I did not know she was going to court for running her kids dad over.. Well long story short she told my wife and all hell broke loose back in January here its march and come to find out that my wife slept with her ex boyfriend a couple times in February after finding out.. She said she doesn't want a divorce but wants to separate so she can see what she wants to do, but she also said that she is not sleeping with him no more but cares about him and they are friends and will continue to talk to him... 

please be respectful but honest .. what should I do? :| thank you


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## 225985

She still sleeping with him. If she wants separation, tell her to leave the house.


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## dmggds

I kind of figured that. she said it has nothing to do with him the reason she wants space just clear her head.. I mean I know I was wrong but she reacted way to soon. 2 wrongs don't make it right but I believe it was more than a tit for tat


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## arbitrator

*The last time I heard anything this extreme, Michael Douglas got his bunny boiled!

I'd say that unless you commit to reconciliation with a woman who is as cold as a poker, I'd go ahead and get divorce pleadings going!

You deserve far better than that!*


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## dmggds

blueinbr said:


> She still sleeping with him. If she wants separation, tell her to leave the house.


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## GusPolinski

She's lying.

Divorce.


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## dmggds

I said the same thing. I told her she was boiling rabbits and got more upset.. I had to get a order of protection, she was working at a law firm and got my address.


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## bankshot1993

It's to late to do what you should have done.

I do find myself wondering if she had something going on the side before she found out because the signs were already there.

Anyway, the marriage is broken, it was broken before but the repair of it now will take a lot more than I suspect your wife is willing to invest. She wants to separate because she wants to explore a relationship with the OM. If she comes back it isn't because she loves you it is because you are plan B and the relationship with the X didn't pan out (no surprise there, he is an X for a reason).

The funny thing about X's, it's easier to jump in the sack with them because they've done it so many times before that its no big deal. As soon as the A is exposed and they are public and no longer hiding, the danger and exhilaration go out the window and then they start to see each others warts again, the same warts that made them break up to begin with.

You have no moral high ground to stand on here as you are as bad as she is although like i said I suspect maybe something was already going on, now you've given her an out. All you can do at this point is stand back and wait for her relationship with her X to run its course while you decide if you are willing to be her plan b should she come back.


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## dmggds

I said that is what I want. but she doesn't. I'm thinking its for financial reason!


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## 225985

dmggds said:


> I believe it was more than a tit for tat


Sure was. :|


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## 225985

Did you have sex with the she devil?


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## dmggds

like I said I am not playing the victim here I was wrong as well. I just want to move on and take care of my 2 kids like I was already doing. I do not plan on being Door #2. He just recently was release from prison and she saw him and told him she was married but exchanged numbers.. Her friend told me that she pulled her away when they were talking at the bar.


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## dmggds

yes I did... I'm not proud of it.


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## Keke24

dmggds said:


> I have been with my wife for 12 plus years, 2 married. before we got married her mother moved in with us and our two kids. After our honeymoon things were not the same for a couple of months I'm not sure if her money being there and we really did not get along has anything to do with it. For 4 months she would tell me she is tired has a headache or goes fast to sleep, she would be up when I get home from work on her cellphone and he minute I get out the shower she is sleeping. As time went on I thought there was something wrong with me, I went out with a friend of mine and met The Devil Herself. It quickly escalated to being Facebook friends to texting (nothing sexual) as months went on my wife only wanted me to hold her and not touch any part of her body and kept denying me sex. Well my unselfish vulnerable self fell for the apple without thinking with my heart when I slept with her. I ended it and after I did she was threatening to run my wife over. mind you I did not know she was going to court for running her kids dad over.. Well long story short she told my wife and all hell broke loose back in January here its march and come to find out that my wife slept with her ex boyfriend a couple times in February after finding out.. She said she doesn't want a divorce but wants to separate so she can see what she wants to do, but she also said that she is not sleeping with him no more but cares about him and they are friends and will continue to talk to him...
> 
> please be respectful but honest .. what should I do? :| thank you


Things weren't going well and for at least 4 months, you two couldn't figure out how to address them. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she was avoiding you sexually during that time because she was cheating. 

Either way, we know for a fact you cheated. 

Then she cheated with her ex. Again I wouldn't be surprised if this is not the first time. Who randomly reaches out to their ex after 12 YEARS and has sex with them "a couple times" (just that phrase alone sounds like a lie)? And suddenly starts caring about them enough to not want to give up the "friendship"???

Now she's asking for your permission to continue cheating... I mean now she wants to separate to figure things out.

You guys could not fix the relationship back then when you just had to deal with her avoiding sex with you. How do you propose to fix the relationship with all this additional baggage now? 

Just, how?


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## dmggds

it was more than sex it was emotions as well. society today believes men are not emotional! Gorilla Glue and duct tape could fix this.. that I know.


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## kristin2349

blueinbr said:


> Did you have sex with the she devil?


Yes he did but he can't just own it...it is all her fault for tempting him with her damn "apple" flavored vagina.>


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## jorgegene

Well what you did is reprehensible, what she did is worse.

all cheating is horribly wrong and so was yours, but in spite of what some might say,
there are gradations of cheating, like the concept of sin. All sins are wrong. Some are worse
than others. thats why in the concept of crime and punishment there are gradations of justice
meted out.

you fell victim to her denial of sex and attention. No excuse.
but she brazenly and unashamededly went out and comitted adultery numerous times.
your cheating did not give her license to cheat. What it did was give her the right to
leave you.

my point is, she is unapologetic and seemlingly a proud cheater.

you only have one decent choice and you've already said it.

Scold yourself, learn to be a better man, leave her and raise those kids with all your might.

you can make amends by raising your kids to do what is right in their lives.


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## 225985

kristin2349 said:


> Yes he did but he can't just own it...it is all her fault for tempting him with her damn "apple" flavored vagina.>


Or cherry flavored. >


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## 225985

jorgegene said:


> *you fell victim to her denial of sex and attention. No excuse.*
> but she brazenly and unashamededly went out and comitted adultery numerous times.
> your cheating did not give her license to cheat. What it did was give her the right to
> leave you.


Actually, that is incorrect. Denial of sex voids the marriage vows. So while legally married, he was not spiritually married and therefore what he did was not adultery.

Because wife was banging the ex long before OP met she devil.


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## Lostinthought61

Do wait any longer file....have her served. This will shake the tree...right now she is stringing you along with guilt.


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## dmggds

I agree.. well i will be filing next week


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## dmggds

Exactly!


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## MelissaG

dmggds said:


> it was more than sex it was emotions as well. society today believes men are not emotional! Gorilla Glue and duct tape could fix this.. that I know.


Exactly. This may have all come out as both you and your spouse cheating on one another, but, when push comes to serve, cheating is simply the aftermath of other problems.

You wouldn't have ended up confiding in this other woman if you felt like you were emotionally connecting with your wife. Same this goes for sexually cheating.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with everything else that's being said. Your marriage may be beyond salvage.


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## dmggds

She still speaks with him


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## Bibi1031

Go bang the she devil again and let us know if she has a cherry or an apple down there you know where.:surprise:

On a more serious note, I am sorry your marriage needs to end. I honestly think she was already cheating on you by the time you fell for the fruity she devil. 

Try to get as much time as you can with your kids and enjoy them as much as you can when you get to have them.


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## NoChoice

OP,
Looking at this objectively, your wife is no longer invested in you/your marriage. Her response to your A was to have one of her own. If she cared deeply for you she would have been devastated, not horny. Most BSs cannot even think about sexual activity during the storm of emotions they face. Combine that with her distancing herself from you physically and emotionally recently and you have the handwriting writing on the wall. It is regrettable.


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## snerg

1) 180 Now
2) IC - you need to find out why you decided to have an affair when there were issues in your marriage
3) Lawyer now - you need to find out your rights
4) Start divorce process
5) Separate all finances like yesterday
6) Realize your wife was more than likely already involved in an affair before you started yours
7) Eat plenty
8) Drink plenty of water
9) Get plenty of sleep
10) Gym - start working out
11) GET A STD test. You both have been playing Russian roulette with your sex organs!

This is a train wreak mere moments from happening.
Get off the train now while you still have time!


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## dmggds

I have gotten tested.. and my fine.. Pa divorce laws are funny here.. i definitely need to start eating because I have no appetite and need to drink water yes.. i haven't eaten in 3 days just one protein drink from the store.. i am trying to dot all my I and cross all my T. I just need to get the mental stability back so I can focus.. i most need to hop of this train because it is gong nowhere fast...

Thank you.


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## dmggds

True indeed.. just taking it day by day and getting through it for myself and kids


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## GuyInColorado

Just end your sham of a marriage. Could you honestly live with your wife for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years? No more sex? 

Screw that. Life is short, find someone that wants your junk every day and will bang you in public, in the car, or on the kitchen table. Trust me, I was married to a woman for 8 years, didn't have sex for the last 4. Left her 14 months ago and having the best sex of my life now. Get out now while you're young.


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## dmggds

Love it love it ... i am leaving today getting a hotel room for 2 weeks until I find a place


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## dmggds

I believe the same thing, as well it was too soon.


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