# Keeping it day by day



## Gma (Feb 7, 2018)

I know every person in here have their own things that are going thru. 
Everyday i tell myself this is it, is over, then night falls and i say ok this day is finally over, next.
I just feel so helpless, no motivation at all. I feel like there is really no need for me, But we have a 2 year old boy and a 7 month old baby girl and they dont deserve any of this. 
My heart feels so broken. 
My main fight with him is that he never invites me anywhere, like work parties that are in public areas, like inviting me for a quick date, or the fact that he wont call me all day but instead calls his one friend 2, 3 or 5 times a day and talks to him for up to 80 mins! But i dont get a phonecall or a sweet text all i get is "whats for dinner?" And if i say anything he says work is super busy. And the fact that he went out with his friends came home with hickies and says he friends held him down!
And the worst is that after a day or two he makes up with his friend again, what about me! he did said sorry but i feel like he is choosing his friendship over me. I got hurt but whatever i should just get over it!?
And yes i shouldve tried harder all this years in our marriage, i shouldve paid more attention to his feelings, instead of getting mad at him for no picking up his plate or clothes or socks, but that is too late now.
I hate that im going through all this feelings, something i never imagine, from someone that promised me so much! From someone that always made me feel so safe, secure in every aspect you can think of. And now he says he loves me but is not the same. After almost 7 years together in march. After we had two beautiful kids this is what i get. 
That is not the same!?
I really dont know how people keep going.
My first heartbreak was in high school not important was childish, then now my husband, i think this is the worst heartbreak anyone can have, from the person that promises to never stop loving you to never hurt you. Its been 2 months now and this is not the way i want to keep living...
I am so sorry for this kinda long but i have to vent somewhere. but thanks to anyone that took the time to read this.


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