# Husband came home with bright red nose



## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

My husband told me he was going to play golf, but got all dressed up and came home 5 hours later with a bright red nose and smiling. He is not a big drinker, but had quite a bit to drink. He went to our bedroom and fell asleep in his clothes for two hours as soon as he came home. After he woke up, I asked him why his nose was so bright red, and he said he didn't know. The redness lasted for two days then faded, and he kept saying he didn't know how it got that way. I said maybe he was allergic to something. One month later, I found out that he did not play golf that day, but met a woman at a hotel. When I confronted him, he admitted that he bought a hotel room for them to be together, but he decided not to have sex with her. When I again asked him how his nose got so bright red he didn't say anything but then claimed that he "fell down" and hit his nose. I don't believe him. I think he had his nose rubbing on the woman's crotch and that is why his nose was bright red. Also, why would he wait a whole MONTH to simply say he fell down? This has NEVER happened before and he insists that he did not have sex with her and said he loves me. When I was devastated, he insisted that he loves me and doesn't want to leave me. Could all of you please comment on HOW you think his nose got red?


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## oddball (Sep 5, 2012)

Perhaps she punched his nose because he wouldnt sleep with her. Maybe they used cocaine together?

Seems very dodgy

Im sure other with good advice will come along soon.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

He was friendly enough with another woman that he lied to you and arranged to meet her at a hotel. Not the sort of behavior one does if one doesn't intend to commit adultery. I'm not buying the bit about deciding not have sex with her. If he didn't have sex with her, it's because he couldn't. She was willing or she wouldn't have met him at a hotel. He was willing or he wouldn't have met her there, paid for the room, etc. Maybe he was too drunk to perform or maybe her significant other slugged him in the snout or maybe he was behaving like a drunk and someone at the bar slugged him. 

My nose has spent quite a bit of time buried in vagina but I don't recall it ever turning red. Falling down isn't outside the realm of possibility for a drunk. They do it all the time. In the grand scheme, the redness of his nose is the least of your problems. 

Despite his denial, I'd say there's at least a 95% chance he nailed her for real, probably not the first time, and there's a 100% chance he nailed her in his mind. Unless I paid for a woman, I'd have to know one and would have to have talked some pretty detailed trash to her before she'd agree to meet me at a hotel for sex.


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## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

I believe the nose could be a well deserved punch from OWH.

If he is relly remorseful and nothing happend, why dont you ask him to tell you the OW name and number to call her, or better call her H.

If nothing happend, there wont be any porblem, rigth?

I believe he will refuse, so you get you answer (he is not remorseful, and/or wasnt the first time).

If/when ask him for this information, dont give him room for call her to match stories.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Why do you care about his nose? Your husband is screwing other women, his nose is not the problem.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

If he were a more dedicated cheater, this could have been the story.

Sunburn on the golf course. A few beers from the pretty little thing that drives the drink cart around the course, or at the halfway house, maybe something to drink afterwards in the club house. 5 hours sounds right in the ballpark.

You're right, he didn't get that room, drink a bunch and not do something. Not sure about the nose hypothesis. Maybe more likely something like wildly trying to get clothes off. With his teeth.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm not at all sure why you imagine that the redness of his nose is the real issue here?


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Sorry to say it but he probably got the red nose by rubbing his face into bedclothes or a carpet while in the throws of passion. 

It is only rational to assume that your husband had sex with someone else until you have evidence to the contrary.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Totally random and related:

My nose gets bright red when I am turned on, making out, having sex, O'ing. Like it's an indication that I am getting it on in some form or horny as hell.

I did not know other people experienced this, too, the blushing in the nose due to sexual turn on.

Weird! LOL.

He was in a hotel with a woman and lied to you about - um, yeah, red flag. They probably fvcked. At minimum, inappropriate.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Rugs said:


> Why do you care about his nose? Your husband is screwing other women, his nose is not the problem.


This is what I was thinking. If my husband paid for a hotel and met a woman there, the explanation for his nose being red would be the least of my concerns!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

KatStar said:


> One month later, I found out that he did not play golf that day, but met a woman at a hotel.


How did you find this out, one month later? Hotel receipt? Credit card statement? Someone told you?

I'm just curious why it took a month to find out.

And not that it really matters WHY his nose was red, but since he was apparently drinking heavily, he probably fell down and hit his nose. Or rubbed it in her crotch. It's a real conundrum at this point.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

" One month later, I found out that he did not play golf that day, but met a woman at a hotel."

how did you find out? hotel bill?

what woman? unless she was a pro, I assume this wasn't their first meeting or contact

redness = rug burn? pillow burn?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

The red nose could be from being tied up with his nose burried in the carpet or bed linens. Could be this woman was the dom in some bondage sadomasicistic stuff your WH is into.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

stop focusing on the red nose and come to the realization that paying for and spending 5 hours in a hotel room with another woman means he had sex

cheaters only admit to only what you can prove and will gaslight about the rest

read the newbie link in my signature


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Just when you think you've heard it all.

Your husbands nose turned red for the same reason Pinocchio's nose grows.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What are you going to do about the cheating?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Grown men don't get hotel rooms with strange women and not have sex. Don't let him lie to you. They were doing much more than playing reindeer games.

I too am curious how you discovered the hotel room, and why he seemed to readily admit to an encounter. Why not just say my friends and I got drunk, we got a room as to not drive home.

Demand to know who the other woman is, demand he immediately hand his phone over to you to check all messages.

How do you feel about your husband screwing other women? What are you going to do about it?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

How did you randomly "find out" a month later about the hotel? Carrier pigeon drop a note in your lap?

*"Could all of you please comment on HOW you think his nose got red?"*

Could you be more blatantly obvious in your attempt to get people to say outlandish things for your own amusement?


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Next time he comes home with a red nose, grab him by his ears and smell his nose. If he's rubbing it against her private parts, you'll know.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Maybe she had her period?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The red nose might -no pun intended- be a red herring. It might have nothing to do with what he did. Which was plan to cheat on you or cheat on you.

how long has he known this woman?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Several posts have been removed for making light of the OP's issues.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Did you find out who the woman was? There's a reason for the song "Hookers and Blow"...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

aaaaaand the OP is still at one post.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

He could have Rosacea and the redness has nothing to do with his cheating, but coincidentally, it started in the same timeframe.


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## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

Thank you everyone for your posts in response to my question about my husband's red nose. In the interim, My WS and I have had long talks and he admitted to getting the room but he told me he walked out after 10 minutes because he didn't want to go through with it. He wants to reconcile, does not want to get a divorce, and after 5 days of non-stop discussion of our relationship, he says that he will do everything he can to earn my trust. He is 72 years old and not exactly a stud-muffin. I am more than 10 years younger than him and I'm in very good shape, slim, fit and attractive He insists that he is sorry to have hurt me, said he was wrong and immature to do that and told me I did not deserve his behavior. He knows I don't believe his story ... but he insists that he wants me to be happy and wants our marriage to work. The way I found out about the hotel room was from searching through his car for evidence and I found the the hotel room key-cards that unlock the door for a room at a Days Inn. Why he would keep those I don't know. I asked him why he kept them. Believe me, I ripped him to shreds over this fir five straight days and he seems genuinely contrite, remorseful and asked me to forgive him. I may still contact the hotel to find out whether he rented to room for several days. Maybe the desk clerk will tell me ... otherwise, why would he keep the key cards? I want to believe that he is remorseful but I am ready to leave if I feel he can't be trusted.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Did you find out who the other woman was?

And as an FYI... A flushed face can be a side effect of many ED drugs...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Will he take a lie detector test?

He wants to stay with you, so he should be willing to take the test.  (and pay for it)


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## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

"Will he take a lie detector test?

He wants to stay with you, so he should be willing to take the test. (and pay for it)"

Yes, he volunteered that he would take a lie-detector test. He stated that he would take one anytime. He insists that he did not take Viagara, and insists that he walked out of the hotel room after 10 minutes because he didn't want to go through with it. He insists that he fell and hit his nose because he was drunk. The fact that he wants to take a lie-detector test ay be simply a dodge to see if I'll really have him do it. I like your idea that he should pay for it. As far as who the other woman was, he said it was a woman that he met online, and it was the first time he saw her, he hadn't met her before. He said it was not someone with whom he had an EA, but was supposed to be purely physical. He admitted that he met a woman a few times for a BJ and paid for it, and met 5 different women for drinks, but nothing happened with them. He said that the woman in he hotel would have been "for free" but when he saw her, he decided not to go through with it. He insisted that I could check his office or anywhere else for any evidence and insists to me that "it was a mistake" and that he wants to stay with me and "rebuild our marriage." He also insists that he never got in bed and had sex with anyone, that he had a hand job a few times. I am so devastated and he knows it and he seems very remorseful that he has hurt me. I want to believe him but I just don't want to be fooled again. I can't live like this, not trusting him. He said it will take time, but he wants to prove to me that I can trust him.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Multiple women, multiple occasions, multiple sexual liaisons. All online. Of course he wants to reconcile and work on the marriage! He got caught. What is he prepared to sacrifice though in order to make it work and for you to trust someone who fishes for online fvck buddies? His computer? His smart phone? Informing you of his whereabouts at all times? 
Do you want this man after all he has done? Can you ever rebuild again?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening KatStar
You can't know for sure if he cheated, or maybe felt remorse at the last instant. 

The decision of what to do is entirely up to you. Take the worst case and assume he did cheat. Do you want to forgive him and stay with him, or not. 

I know its a difficult question, but really you are the only person who knows how YOU feel about the situation. All I can suggest is to go by your feelings, not by what other people say you should do, or how you should feel. 



KatStar said:


> Thank you everyone for your posts in response to my question about my husband's red nose. In the interim, My WS and I have had long talks and he admitted to getting the room but he told me he walked out after 10 minutes because he didn't want to go through with it. He wants to reconcile, does not want to get a divorce, and after 5 days of non-stop discussion of our relationship, he says that he will do everything he can to earn my trust. He is 72 years old and not exactly a stud-muffin. I am more than 10 years younger than him and I'm in very good shape, slim, fit and attractive He insists that he is sorry to have hurt me, said he was wrong and immature to do that and told me I did not deserve his behavior. He knows I don't believe his story ... but he insists that he wants me to be happy and wants our marriage to work. The way I found out about the hotel room was from searching through his car for evidence and I found the the hotel room key-cards that unlock the door for a room at a Days Inn. Why he would keep those I don't know. I asked him why he kept them. Believe me, I ripped him to shreds over this fir five straight days and he seems genuinely contrite, remorseful and asked me to forgive him. I may still contact the hotel to find out whether he rented to room for several days. Maybe the desk clerk will tell me ... otherwise, why would he keep the key cards? I want to believe that he is remorseful but I am ready to leave if I feel he can't be trusted.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

KatStar said:


> Thank you everyone for your posts in response to my question about my husband's red nose. In the interim, My WS and I have had long talks and he admitted to getting the room but he told me he walked out after 10 minutes because he didn't want to go through with it. He wants to reconcile, does not want to get a divorce, and after 5 days of non-stop discussion of our relationship, he says that he will do everything he can to earn my trust. He is 72 years old and not exactly a stud-muffin. I am more than 10 years younger than him and I'm in very good shape, slim, fit and attractive He insists that he is sorry to have hurt me, said he was wrong and immature to do that and told me I did not deserve his behavior. He knows I don't believe his story ... but he insists that he wants me to be happy and wants our marriage to work. The way I found out about the hotel room was from searching through his car for evidence and I found the the hotel room key-cards that unlock the door for a room at a Days Inn. Why he would keep those I don't know. I asked him why he kept them. Believe me, I ripped him to shreds over this fir five straight days and he seems genuinely contrite, remorseful and asked me to forgive him. I may still contact the hotel to find out whether he rented to room for several days. Maybe the desk clerk will tell me ... otherwise, why would he keep the key cards? I want to believe that he is remorseful but I am ready to leave if I feel he can't be trusted.


It seems to me that there are a number of issues here.

First, it seems he's trying to trickle-truth you. Consider telling him that you need to know EVERYTHING and you need to have him answer ALL your questions. If you discover that he did not comply, it is all over.

He may tell you that he's trying to protect you from details that will only upset you and which have nothing to do with the essentials. If he tries that, assure him that you are a big girl and can make your own decisions; he has no idea as to what is important to you and what is not.

Second, you have the problem of the infidelity. There seem to have been several previous episodes. You need ALL the truth about ALL of them or you are out the door.

Third, the red nose story stinks. If he fell down and smashed his nose, he'd likely have had a few scratches and a bloody nose. There's no shame in a bloody nose. Where is the bloody hankerchief or whatever.
This ties in with the first two points. He's got to tell the truty.

Fourth, try to impress upon him that making YOU happy is not his job right now. His job is to come totally clean and tell you the truth.

After all that is done to your satisfaction, take a week or two to make up your mind about what you want to do. Do not be rushed into taking him back. He had reasons as to why he paid for bj's and tried to bed other women. You have to know about that as well because that may be on you.

So don't rush. He'll be in pain, but so what? He can take it. If he can't, I'm sure he can find the door.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

So...he's remorseful.

In that case, he should have taken off all passwords on his electronics (phone, computer, tablet) or else HANDED you the actual passwords. He should have written the woman a No Contact letter that you approved and sent yourself. He should have found a therapist both for himself and for you as a couple, and set up appointments. He should be telling you where he is at all times, until you feel safe again. He should have offered to take a polygraph to prove he didn't 'go in.' And more.

Has he done any of this?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> Several posts have been removed for making light of the OP's issues.


Why would people *do* this?


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

KatStar said:


> Thank you everyone for your posts in response to my question about my husband's red nose. In the interim, My WS and I have had long talks and he admitted to getting the room but he told me he walked out after 10 minutes because he didn't want to go through with it. He wants to reconcile, does not want to get a divorce, and after 5 days of non-stop discussion of our relationship, he says that he will do everything he can to earn my trust. He is 72 years old and not exactly a stud-muffin. I am more than 10 years younger than him and I'm in very good shape, slim, fit and attractive He insists that he is sorry to have hurt me, said he was wrong and immature to do that and told me I did not deserve his behavior. He knows I don't believe his story ... but he insists that he wants me to be happy and wants our marriage to work. The way I found out about the hotel room was from searching through his car for evidence and I found the the hotel room key-cards that unlock the door for a room at a Days Inn. Why he would keep those I don't know. I asked him why he kept them. Believe me, I ripped him to shreds over this fir five straight days and he seems genuinely contrite, remorseful and asked me to forgive him. I may still contact the hotel to find out whether he rented to room for several days. Maybe the desk clerk will tell me ... otherwise, why would he keep the key cards? I want to believe that he is remorseful but I am ready to leave if I feel he can't be trusted.



Sorry, I don't buy it. I think he's sorry he got caught. 72 years old and he of course does not want to lose you. He really wants to cake-eat. 

If you decide to stay with this man, everything should be on your terms from this point forward and I would let him know this right up front.


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## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

Yes, he offered to take a polygraph test and offered to get tested for Viagara use. He wants to try to save our marriage. Believe me, I have let him know what a POS I think he is and that I need to take care of what is right for me. SO far he appears to be trying to save our marriage. I told him that I need time to think about what I NEED and it will take a long time. He has offered to let me see his emails and said I could call him anytime to know his whereabouts. I want to believe that he is sincerely sorry since he says he is, and that I am precious to him, but this trust is broken. He wants to move forward, but I told him that is good to hear, but it will take a lot of work on his part for me to trust him again. By the way, he is retired and I still work. He has the time and opportunity to do this.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

You're working and he's out catting around. BJ's, hand jobs, meetings in hotel rooms for sex, etc. 

He's out there dating while you are hard at work.

I think you have the tip of the iceberg here. Sure, he says he'll take a poly. He's probably assuming you will back off from it thinking that his acquiescence signals his honesty. Usually this is just a cheater's tactic, though.

I think the chances are 100% that he is still lying. I would kick him out and take some time to really let this settle. Let him go use the hotel room he paid for.

Please don't accept such disrespect. You are worth much more than all this deceit.


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## old red (Jul 26, 2014)

"Yes, he offered to take a polygraph test and offered to get tested for Viagara use."

insist he follows through with these offers - it's the least he could do to help you, and the sooner the better.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

alte Dame said:


> You're working and he's out catting around. BJ's, hand jobs, meetings in hotel rooms for sex, etc.
> 
> He's out there dating while you are hard at work.
> 
> ...


What is even the point of a polygraph. He's already fully admitted to lets see, 1) being a John, 2) getting blow jobs, 3) getting hand jobs, 4) renting hotel rooms with intent of sex

What the hell else do you need him to tell you?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Great! Go over to him right now, hold out your hand, and say "Let me see your phone." Then go sit somewhere in another room and go through all of it. While you're doing that, download some sort of keylogger (whatever it is you can do on phones - I have no idea). If you find any time chunks of messages missing, write it down. Write down any missing chunks of time and go ask him to explain them. Tell him he is not to delete a single message or call record from now on, as you WILL be checking his phone.

After you hand it back to him, say "Now about that polygraph. I expect it to be scheduled by the time I get home from work on Monday."

Then go about your day.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

the red nose probably is just because he got drunk. If it were Viagra flush, the whole face would have been red. I suppose the woman could have sat on his nose and there either could have been some heavy pressure, or some sort of allergic reaction, but that is a long shot.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

I saw an ad for chips that you can trace people and objects with. An iPhone app.

But when the red nose lights up the sky everyone knows Santa is coming.


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## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

Hey everyone, yes, it's hilarious that my husband comes home looking like BOZO the clown with a red nose -- because that's what he was to me. A sickening f***ing CLOWN. I ripped him to shreds and told him I had evidence enough to divorce his ass and throw him out. To make the last very stressful days short, he has done the following: gave me the passwords to all his electronic devices, agreed to a polygraph test, insists that he was stupid and asked me to forgive him, and told me that he will do everything in his power to make sure I am happy. He said he wants to work on our marriage -- that he got off track, made a terrible mistake, and feels horrible that he has hurt me and that I lost his trust. I told him that you get only ONE second chance...that I have to look out for myself AND I WILL. He said our marriage fell into a rut, but that the entire time, he really did love me. I told him that it will take time to rebuild trust and that I still do NOT entirely believe him. He says that he fell flat on his face -- that is why his nose was red. There are no scratches so I don't believe him. We talked for hours about everything imaginable, and I left out no information. Even though he is 72, he is in excellent physical shape, plays golf nearly every day, and checks in on his company (he is a retired CEO). I am 10 years younger, slim and could easily find someone else, but at this point I'm willing to give him the chance that he's asking for. We've been married only 10 years ... I was married before for 15 years to a womanizing doctor, and after I divorced him, I met this man who seemed to be the opposite, someone I could trust. I am hoping that he follows through with his promises. He tells me he is sorry he hurt me since I've been so badly hurt in my past marriage. Thanks everyone for your input.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

Geez, I'm so sorry, Kat. 

I'm glad your husband seems to be showing signs of remorse, but I hope you don't let him sweep this under the rug. Try to get into marriage counseling with a counselor who has experience with infidelity. Interview the counselor! Make sure they don't condone blameshifting or rugsweeping. Try to stick to the 180 for your own sake. Order some books -- lots of posters here have various infidelity books linked in their signatures. _Not Just Friends_ by Shirley Glass is a good one (even if the affair wasn't with a "friend"), as is _How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair_ so that you can see what remorse really should look like. 

Good luck. Stick around; keep posting -- it's therapeutic and it's good to write things out (to fully think them through) during this process. There are other betrayed wives here (I am one) who you can relate to and who can provide support for you.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I am not a fan of poly's. 

I agree with getting his accounts and checking his story.


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## KatStar (Jul 31, 2014)

I registered to this site because I was desperate for help and advice over the fact that my second marriage might fail -- earlier in my life I had divorced a philandering doctor and finally found a chance for happiness with a man who I thought was honest so I entered into a second marriage. One night he came home with a bright red nose which lasted for two days, then faded ... no scratch marks ... and it was only weeks later that I finally found evidence of him meeting other women, though at the time he was denying it. I felt that the red nose may be an indication of ED med use, or an allergic reaction to another woman's perfume, or some kind of sexual encounter that involved rubbing his nose. AT the time when he finally admitted to meeting a woman "ONLY for drinks," he still had no explanation for why his nose was red. 

In any case, I came to all of you for help and advice, and some of you MADE FUN of me and my situation. I am trying hard to not HATE this man that I married since he has been shoeing great remorse. AND many of you are still making fun of me. You have no idea what I have been through in the past. 20 years ago I had two young children and was caring for my two ill parents while I was recovering from viral meningitis and in the meantime my doctor husband was hiding the fact that he was sharing drugs and having sex with patients, all the time treating me beautifully to my face. That husband finally got caught, convicted and ended up in prison. I was left alone, no money (doctor used it all on women and a malpractice attorney) trying to take care of my children and elderly parents to fend for myself. After going through HELL, at the age of 49 I met a man who said he loved me, and promised that I would never had to worry again because he was honest and I could trust him. THEN I FIND OUT HE's ANOTHER LIAR. 

You are no better than my lying husband -- making fun of me. How dare you.




I shared this with all of you, and


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Kat, that's the nature of forums - the beauty of it AND the danger of it - you get all KINDS of viewpoints about your situation. We don't know you; we can only go by what we see you write. We have to fill in the gaps. Sometimes people make assumptions. No one is trying to hurt you, though. It's your job when you come here for answers to sift through what he say, take what works, reject what doesn't. But you have gotten a lot of great advice; I hope you can still hear it.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

To be fair to those who made light of this, heading your post 'My husband came home with a bright red nose' does make it seem frivolous. It was only in the body of the post that you brought up the infidelity. Some people don't read posts in much detail before responding.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

You also need to understand that MANY MANY people come on here and write fake stories. It's a major problem on this site and your title and initial post really made some antennae go up, with many thinking it was not real.

When that happens, it's easier to make fun of the story, because they (we) don't think it's serious.

In fact, some people create accounts and then bait the people on here who are trying to help. They toy with our emotions, as people who've been really hurt by infidelity (or whatever).

So if in fact you are genuine, please take heed that this will happen. But there will be good advice in there.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

Hi Kat,

I am really sorry that some people here are not taking your story and your pain seriously. There are posters, myself included, who are here just to offer support, advice, and empathy.

I would strongly recommend everyone else in the thread catch up and read Kat's updates/replies. She's here seeking help and is clearly quite distressed.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

KatStar said:


> I registered to this site because I was desperate for help and advice over the fact that my second marriage might fail -- earlier in my life I had divorced a philandering doctor and finally found a chance for happiness with a man who I thought was honest so I entered into a second marriage. One night he came home with a bright red nose which lasted for two days, then faded ... no scratch marks ... and it was only weeks later that I finally found evidence of him meeting other women, though at the time he was denying it. I felt that the red nose may be an indication of ED med use, or an allergic reaction to another woman's perfume, or some kind of sexual encounter that involved rubbing his nose. AT the time when he finally admitted to meeting a woman "ONLY for drinks," he still had no explanation for why his nose was red.
> 
> In any case, I came to all of you for help and advice, and some of you MADE FUN of me and my situation. I am trying hard to not HATE this man that I married since he has been shoeing great remorse. AND many of you are still making fun of me. You have no idea what I have been through in the past. 20 years ago I had two young children and was caring for my two ill parents while I was recovering from viral meningitis and in the meantime my doctor husband was hiding the fact that he was sharing drugs and having sex with patients, all the time treating me beautifully to my face. That husband finally got caught, convicted and ended up in prison. I was left alone, no money (doctor used it all on women and a malpractice attorney) trying to take care of my children and elderly parents to fend for myself. After going through HELL, at the age of 49 I met a man who said he loved me, and promised that I would never had to worry again because he was honest and I could trust him. THEN I FIND OUT HE's ANOTHER LIAR.
> 
> ...


First, not everyone makes fun of you, with your post you show disrespect for the serious posters.

Second, you started off on the wrong foot with your heavy accent on the 'red nose mystery'. You mention incidentally he was with another woman in a hotel. But that is the kicker!

Third, the super important details about paid encounters are mentioned even later.

Fourth, you mix impressions with facts and his statements. Where his statements can be lies, or even all lies, and your impressions be wrong.

So why not list the facts you have, because everything he says can be a lie?


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

For the red nose there can be a number of exotic explanations.

We have had here a case where the woman cheated with a group of men dressed as clowns in a hotel room.

We have had a case where a long distance master instructed his internet slave to make a video of a cheat with some one, and let husband find it. Just to stir up things and enhance the thrill of it all.

So the red nose can be just an accident, remnant of a gig of some kind, or something like the above. Not yet to say what now.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Gabriel said:


> You also need to understand that MANY MANY people come on here and write fake stories. It's a major problem on this site and your title and initial post really made some antennae go up, with many thinking it was not real.
> 
> When that happens, it's easier to make fun of the story, because they (we) don't think it's serious.
> 
> ...


It is only *ever* a major problem on this site if people refuse to follow the rules to use the report button when they see a thread they think is dubious and, instead, choose to make mock of people who have posted requests for help.


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