# Help Help Help Please



## rodbite4434 (Sep 14, 2012)

My wife and i have been separated for 4-5 months. we work together. Thanks to this site and seeing all the stories that are the same as mine i realize i emotionally hurt her by not showing appreciation for her.

As i have thought and cried i realize her anger and our fights that go worse over time was due to my failure to emotionally be there for my wife. I am honestly becoming a new man. Not just for her but because i see where i did things wrong.

So today we had a heart to heart talk after last night she invited me to her house to eat cause son was gone with friends. We had a great conversation.

Today she flat out said you hurt me and i don't want to hurt like that again, so i am not sure about us. (before it always i want a divorce)

What do i do next???????? Do i stay in the Hotel i am living in or Get an Apartment, Furniture and start living life??

I don't want to screw this up, i know she needs time. Also what do i do to reconnect.

I Love my wife deeply and and very sorry that i saw the light after we separated.


Rod


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## Mark72 (May 26, 2012)

rodbite4434 said:


> My wife and i have been separated for 4-5 months. we work together. Thanks to this site and seeing all the stories that are the same as mine i realize i emotionally hurt her by not showing appreciation for her.
> 
> As i have thought and cried i realize her anger and our fights that go worse over time was due to my failure to emotionally be there for my wife. I am honestly becoming a new man. Not just for her but because i see where i did things wrong.
> 
> ...


Have you guys been to counseling?


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

Rod,

Continue to work on yourself. If the apt thing is pressing then move that way but if you're concerned... then hold off another month or two and see how things go. There are plenty of ways to fix yourself and move your life forward over the next month or two that have nothing to do with finding an apartment and playing house. That said, make a goal about how long you're willing to be a participant in waiting to hear differently from her.

Nobody on this site was ever hurt from putting more effort into fixing their own lives and being stronger and more well informed. Those things should be catnip to your wife if she's on the fence.


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## rodbite4434 (Sep 14, 2012)

Thank You. I am acting on allot of advice on this site. I just booked my first trip alone since we got married.  Then the wife said the following week she would do the same. I think its a great idea.

I noticed once i stopped calling and texting her she starting calling be again about the "little things" that happen during the day.

It's so hard "waiting" for her to make up her mind. But i will push forward.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

rod,

As others have said, keep working at fixing yourself. Actions speak louder than words

I trust by now you've apologized to her about how you treated her. Make sure she knows you're working on it and that you don't expect her to take your word for it. Time is the important factor here


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