# Devastated



## Solow (12 mo ago)

Hi,

I have been with my partner for nearly 17 years we have a teenage son (not to long until 18).

We live together and have the full nigh on 17 years.

Do not no where to turn...It was the day of my close friends funeral, on the night time my partner was absolutely drunk asleep at the table. I went outside and was hit in the face....Next thing I know my neighbour was cleaning the blood off me. I then left the house to go see a family member because they were upset about what had happened to me.

3 weeks later a message was sent to my partner saying how much he wants to smack her arse....I instantly replied saying what the f××× you on about. He then deleted the message.

1 we are technically relatedd.
2 my son was in the house
3 her underwear is torn
4 she said he locked the doors
5 states it was not rape!

I only found out because I was using her phone....3 weeks down the line. She said it was killing her not mentioning it to me....but finding out like this has ripped my heart to bits....and for someone that I counted as family done this s*** too me....

I have the clothes She was wearing, I know for a fact he has took advantage of the situation....disgusted.
But she has allowed this!

Then kept it hidden...kind of wished I never found out..

It is now past 5 month since this happened...but I still feel like I am living a lie...

I cuddled her 2 days ago feels like a empty shell when I did....it is killing me inside....a feel like it is My fault....should never of left her with someone I thought I could trust....

Also I have never seen him since but I know what I would like if I did!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

So hang on. Who hit you in the face?
Are you saying that on that night of the funeral your partner had sex with a close friend of yours? That you think he forced her while she was in your house?
What does he say about what happened? 
Why are you still with him?


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## Solow (12 mo ago)

Hi,

The person who hit me was a random twat who I have yet to have the pleasure of meeting again...be a great day!

My partner is a she, the person in question is sort of related in a way.

She says she cannot fully remember but states it would of happend if I did not return at the time I did, I was gone less than 30-40mins.
I am still with her because I still believe it was a mistake (either that or I am retarded) and we have a child. And throwing 17 years away that quick...seems a horrible thought.

I mention it all the time but now she says nothing happend and to stop asking...but I know something has...her version of events changed so much...feel sick tbh.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

So is she saying this relative of yours raped her? Then tell her you are taking her to the police station to file a rape report. See how she responds.

I was playing a gig in England back in '89 and the same thing happened to me. It was over in the West End. We had gotten done playing, about 1:00 a.m., and were leaving the nightclub when some rando douchebag ran up to me out of nowhere and sucker-punched me. He nailed me perfect and I was knocked silly for several minutes. Never saw his face. My bandmates said he jumped on the back of a motorbike with some other guy and sped off before they could catch him. I still have the scar on my cheek to remember it.  You Brits have some interesting pastimes.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

So you know who the guys is and have not done anything about it? Do I understand this correctly?


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

Solow said:


> her version of events changed so much


This tells you every thing!


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Your wife cheated on you. It probably wasn't the first time. It was the first time she was caught. Dump her immediately and never look back. You don't deserve to be with a cheating woman.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Are you saying this guy, a relative, knocked you out and while you were out he had sex with your passed out drunk partner? I can't make heads or tales of what is going on here.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Are you saying this guy, a relative, knocked you out and while you were out he had sex with your passed out drunk partner? I can't make heads or tales of what is going on here.


Neither can I


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## trytobebetter (Mar 31, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I can't make heads or tales of what is going on here


 
I guess I am not the only one or two.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

trytobebetter said:


> I guess I am not the only one or two.


Three


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

How is the divorce coming along?


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## Chaparralredux (Apr 21, 2021)

Solow said:


> Hi,
> 
> The person who hit me was a random twat who I have yet to have the pleasure of meeting again...be a great day!
> 
> ...


Reread your posts. It’s completely unclear what happened, when, who is involved. This is a great place but you have to be clear and take part in the discussion.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

So he was the one that sucker punched you..


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## Solow (12 mo ago)

Hi,

The person who sucker punched me was a random dude...only mentioned he should not be driving as he looked pissed.
Left my ex family member in charge of my house (there were a few of my mates there that I trust more than him now). He removed the last person there then locked the doors. (My son was upstairs oblivious to it all _I am Foaming!_)
I left to go see my niece who was crying over me being hit (1 punch is nothing used to it).

Then found out about this.....3 weeks later.
I have spoken there is 2 choices, the report route or leave.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Report it for sure to the police. If your partner balks at this, you may have what you need.
IF you need to and not sure with the partner, you could always do a polygraph...


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Solow said:


> Hi,
> 
> The person who sucker punched me was a random dude...only mentioned he should not be driving as he looked pissed.
> Left my ex family member in charge of my house (there were a few of my mates there that I trust more than him now). He removed the last person there then locked the doors. (My son was upstairs oblivious to it all _I am Foaming!_)
> ...


Did your partner say it wasn't rape or the guy? Drunk, out cold and torn panties sounds like potential for rape to me. Why would she say it wasn't rape?


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## Solow (12 mo ago)

I asked 3 questions,

1: From a scale from 1 to 10 how drunk were you = 10 I completely forgot about you being hit.

2: Do you want me and our son?.. Or him? = You's.

3: Would you sleep with him or do anything like this if you were not out of it/drunk = No never!

Ended by = How can you consent to do this, either you have forgot or you are really good at telling lies.

She can not truly remember by the blank look I get.

I know she may feel shame but that ****head needs put in his place.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Solow said:


> I asked 3 questions,
> 
> 1: From a scale from 1 to 10 how drunk were you = 10 I completely forgot about you being hit.
> 
> ...


If she really was that drunk it seems impossible that she could give consent. It sure sounds like rape/sexual assault to me. Furthermore, torn panties. Why did she tell you this was consensual and not rape?


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