# first meeting since seperation next week...



## lonleyinlasvegas (Jul 3, 2012)

so after 2-3 weeks of terse, short emails, the wife is prepared to fly back to live with her mom on a one way ticket, and says she is not sure when she will be back..

question is what should be discussed? have been trying hard to do the 180 the last couple of weeks, been doing a ton of new activities. Post them ALL on my FB page which I know she is addicted to. Was always in shape, but taken up some new hobbies which I let fall by the wayside years ago to put my wifes interest on a pedestal..

I am thinking of telling her to take as much time as she needs with her Mom..

But also at the same time to check in with me once a month with a MC we have seen before, and not let feelings harden to a point where it will be near impossible to dig out from..

i have told her our old marriage is dead and if she wants a new relationship based on agreed upon terms that is the only thing I will accept if she decided to come back (no kids). 

but at the same time, I feel some (small) effort has to be made in terms of outreach to try and get communication going again..and stop all the anger and blame game which does us no good..

I am fine with moving on, but I want to make sure i have done everything i could to save our marriage of 12 years before we part ways forever..

would love some opinions on how to handle the first meeting...


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

If I remember correctly, she cheated?

If so, I think the ball is squarely in her court. She has to want a shot at R, not be guilted into it by you.

And if she does, SHE has to do all the heavy lifting!

Be careful not to present yourself as "Plan B" again. I think you may be strting to almost head down that path


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