# is she nuts exposed her own A now what



## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

just started on this forum. So my ws is still in A I'm gone out of house be home soon per the advice I have been watching her online activity. She has no problems with putting things on social media sites about her OM and her just like none of these friends and family know she and I were together for 17yrs. Yet as I said in my other thread she calls and always tells me the problems in our relationship hers and mine mostly mine professes she is done. I do my very best to not bring US up. So wtf is she thinking I still don't know if she will come back to the m or not? Still have no idea if she is testing the water by bringing us up or what why bring it up if you so done this is eating at me very badly so I made the point when she called this morning that as long as she is cheating I do not want to talk about us. She went in to a fit about that's what is wrong with me I never want to talk. What the heck is she doing other then going nuts an ideas??????? On the fence?done and rubbing it in? Trying to get me to up my game? Why would you out your self to the world? I should say she never admits online she is a cheating W but common sense should dictate he friends and family would know


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

She's pissed cuz you are no longer going to share her!

As far as telling everyone about the OM, I'm guessing the more open she is about him the less guilt she has....IDK?

Maybe she just thinks that since you guys never tied the knot she can have this new boyfriend? Maybe she think that tell you that she no longer loves you that gives her free raine to screw around.

I strongly suggest you do a 180 and show her the consequences for betraying you and totaly disengage her....change your number!

The way I see it as long as she continues with OM then let her go and move on....enless you like sharing your women?

Until you go completely dark then she will never think twice about her choices...she will never second guess herself in what she is about to lose.

Its tough man, I have been there, but once your old lady sees how confident you are in letting her go she will continue to emotionally torture you.

I bet your old lady would flip the phuck out if you started dating....Ya wouldn't make sense, right...when your in an affair you can throw logic out the window....Thats why going dark is your best tactic in trying to save this.

MAKE THE CHOICE FOR HER!!!!!!! go dark.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Go dark?? Is that nc


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> Go dark?? Is that nc


Yeah.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Guess I don't get the concept of bringing up our relationship if your done with it more then any thing.??


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

mrmatt72 said:


> Guess I don't get the concept of bringing up our relationship if your done with it more then any thing.??


From were I'm sitting she brings it up cuz she ain't sure if this new guy is going to work out...and she is rewriting it and bring it up and how crappy it was makes her feel better for betraying you. It really is that simple.

Sir, she is in a fog and the sooner you go nc (dark) on her butt the sooner she will start to second guess what she is about to lose.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> Guess I don't get the concept of bringing up our relationship if your done with it more then any thing.??


Because she wants to justify the affair to herself and keep you on the hook as the back up plan in case things go sour with Prince Charming. To her, you're the bench warmer, the second stringer.....until the next man comes along.

Chapter 1 of the Cheaters Handbook - Blameshifting - Put all the blame on your husband/wife. The affair is their fault, not yours

How long are you going to tolerate this?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Good question, how long can a guy take being told what a crappy guy you are to her?


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Tolerate this. well yesterday was the last day for tolerating it. I was calm and cool I don't think I said 10 words when she called . after she said something about the kids she went nuts for 5 min then. I told her that as long as she is cheating I'm not talking about us! She flipped out. So I sat listened closely and said sorry its not all about you I am doing what's best for me right now (nicely) hung up!


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> Tolerate this. well yesterday was the last day for tolerating it. I was calm and cool I don't think I said 10 words when she called . after she said something about the kids she went nuts for 5 min then. I told her that as long as she is cheating I'm not talking about us! She flipped out. So I sat listened closely and said sorry its not all about you I am doing what's best for me right now (nicely) hung up!


Have you ever hung up on someone in the middle of your own sentence? That way they'll never know you did it intentionally and you can do better things than listen to their bullsh!t. Trust me its one of the pleasurable experiences of life.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I guess I'm looking at the war in the long run! Now I want to set my troops for a win I realized from yesterday defense is not a winning strategy. The advice I feel I need in to her thinking why she is saying this and that. All that stuff.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

She is thinking of her self...what else matters?


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

the guy said:


> She is thinking of her self...what else matters?


LOL - the OM is the only other thing on her mind!

MrMatt get back in your house TODAY


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

OM might require some publicity. Several members of TAM have had considerable success using Cheaterville.com.

I am not saying you should, but I am suggesting this as an option.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

He may not have a house to go home to. The unemployed POSOM may have already moved in and is wearing Matts bathrobe and watching his TV in his lazyboy, with one of his kid sitting on OM lap.

Dude if your not home by tonight your crazy!!!!!!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Ha ha not funny my kids feel they need to tell on there mom sense I left which I don't like puts them in a bad spot! I'm going home if the locks ain't changed then I'm in.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> Ha ha not funny my kids feel they need to tell on there mom sense I left which I don't like puts them in a bad spot! I'm going home if the locks ain't changed then I'm in.


Take a police officer with you.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Just an fyi. My cousin and her h live 5 doors down so I know the pos ain't in the house. And my boy is a rat he is discussed with his mom I know what's going on in my house I think I'm getting good intell on the home front. Other question what if the lock are changed it is my parents house and they do not under any circumstances want to get involved in a war that have made that crystal clear to both the w and i.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I am really thinking right now kind of 50/50 I don't want to deal with her crap I don't want to see her I don't want to even be in the same town as her yet I want my w back my family back my life back so idk. I'm going home now so I will be back with more info soon!,?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I was not being funny brother it was ment to lite a fire under your @ss and prevent you from getting labed as abandoning your family.

It will be tough but staying in the maritial home is the best tactic in preventing from getting taken to the cleaners if you divorce.

If you don;t want to be around her then get a lawyer and file for D again another tactic that will not only protect you but show your wife how serious and confident you are if she continues.

If the locks are changed ....well then call the cops and tell them you have a right to the maritial home and demand access. You do have a right to the marital home...it is in both your names, correct?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I hope OP takes a witness or a VAR....his old lady ain't going to like this one bit!!!!!!!!

I have a feeling OP's old lady is not going to like the new Matt that is now standing up for him self.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Since they aren't married he needs to see a lawyer to determine what his responsibilities are. Probably considered common law marriage. But MrMatt you need to know your rights. 

And what the F is up with your parents? They don't want to get involved? It's THEIR house! You are THEIR son! FCOL


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I'm driving so sorry I'm short no my mom and dad own our home!! They won't get involved plane and simple!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If the locks are changed then go to Homedepot pick up some new glass for that "broken window you have been meaning to replace".


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sorry your parents are so disconcerning for you and their grandkids....sad very sad.

Well brother you can always count on support from TAM.

You need a witness so you don't get accused of something you didn't do and your old lady calls the cops.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

They did this same crap with my sister and it went bad bad bad for mom and dad they just don't want to mess with the house part they have cut her off all together won't let her near them. So its on me!!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Dude no matter what stay calm and collected and DO NOT ENGAGE HER!!!! if you have a place like man cave, basement, or garage then hang out their....but stay as far away from her as possible and if she theatens you call the cops.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Jeezus... not to dis your parents but now I understand your fear of abandonment a bit better. That's why you're reluctant to cut this cheating woman loose. 

Don't forget to be calm and confident. Don't look glum etc. 180 it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Let her now that you are protecting your self before the divorce and she will not use the excuse that you moved out and abandon the family.

If your chick still has a problem then let her know she is more then welcome to leave, but until the divorce is finalized you will not leave the marital home.

After that statement do not get sucked into a fight.

Do not let her push your button...cuz she will.

Hell bull sh1t her and tell her your lawyer told you to move back home so thats what your doing.


But just keep it short and make it clear she can't make you leave.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You need to stop by walmart or radio shack and get a voice activated recorder and tell you wife that you have it on you and if she makes any false aquesations you will have it recorde and will let the cops listen to it when they show up.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> I'm driving so sorry I'm short no my mom and dad own our home!! They won't get involved plane and simple!!!


If your parents are the owners of the house, then she definitely can't change the locks. Who's going to change the locks for her anyway? 

Bring a VAR with you at the very least to protect yourself.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Took 42 minutes for me to get escorted off the property!!!!!! The fuzz were waiting told the cop the story! the w cried. Got told to go by fuzz. So I said f it went to leave and she is chasing me collapsed in the rode went to see her got slapped got told she loved me got her in house she got mad idk why? Threw a plate at me I said I was staying in the house! here come the fuzz again (idk who called them) leave or we have a bed for you. All that in 42 minutes wow like a Greek tragedy.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Sucks the cop gave me some bs reason why I got to leave I told him its my parents house said it don't matter when you move out??? Its not cohabited any more I explained all my crap is in the house said it didn't matter to him leave or go the jail for domestic violence. WTF. Man Nebraska sucks!


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Get a lawyer.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Apparently I need one. The cop made me leave w never said a dam word after I told her I was staying. I think cop was watching from down the road. All that in 42 minutes wow can you believe that talk about going to h-ll in a hand basket!


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

If your parents don't want to get involved can you get them to give you a power of attorney over the property? Your lawyer can write it up such that you have landlord rights but can't sell it. Once you have that put a 24 hour notice of inspection on the door, 24 hours later go in to inspect, don't leave. Let your wife know that if she calls the cops on you or makes any kind of fuss you'll evict her.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Do you pay your parents rent?


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

No rent they have some kind of pre dispersion of assets thing going on that's how we got the home 10 yrs ago idk I'll talk to sister in law she is an attorney!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So when did the cop say you could go back home?

Never mind, your lawyer will get to the bottom of this.

So you get assulted and the cops make you leave...un phucking believeable.

I guess tomarrow is another day.

Or are you going down to the cop shop and talk to a suprevisor?

I don't get it when you talked to the cops and asked them that you wanted back in the home, then you show up and they come out, then they leave, then come back????????


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So now your chick gets to stay rent free for how ever long, you are on the streets and there grand kids are with out their father and they don't want to get involved?

So once the Om moves in your parent do give a damb about the property and could care of less?

Do your folks know you are no longer on the property?

I still don't get it, sure my son has control of my property and has his family and all is good, but then that changes things when my son is no longer in control of the property...but yet your folks do not want to get involved even now that their daughter inlaw as control of the property and you don't.......that would be very concerning that family was no longer control of the propery.

You might want to tell your folks that you are no onger living there and a punch of crack head are now living with their grand kids and soon to be ex wife.....maybe then they will get involved!!!!!!!

Sure the crack head thing is a strech but the point is your folks are blind to the possiblities that *could* exist if they don't evict her from their property.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Thank God you have a lawyer in the family!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

No the cop was there when I showed up so I told him the story he told me to leave and start no trouble he left. so like 5 minutes later I left she chased I stopped (she was laying in the street crying )took her in the house talked the plate went flying cop showed up I got told to leave again all told 42 minutes


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Oh I am in my old room at mom and dads they know all about it. its more dad that don't want to get involved. It crap I know. Dad is kind of a sissy. He is afraid to start trouble with her family. Yup its a bunch of crap


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

So I'm going to do my thing and see what happens in a day or two. She didn't want me in the house till I drove a way then went crazy in the street. So I may of or may not of got in the house but for the cop.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

The phone is off I got a long island ice tea cable TV moms cooking dad bi---ing life in the toilet its like a vasectomy with a chain saw just awesome


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It makes sence to let sh1t settle down. But you do have to see a lawyer and now your options.

The kids diserve their dad, and your mom needs to talk to your dad and show him the liablity they have with out having family control of the property.

Sir your wife is a big time cake eater and if you just shut up and let her do what she wanted then this all would be a proplem, so i have to saw well done in showing your wife that you have had enough and as you can see she is so conflicted more and more as you continue to fight.

What I mean it is very clear that the more you fight the harder it is for her....you sir are making this affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable as possible so with that i say well done.

So from here on out continue to make thos affair inconvienent, continue to make her think twice i what she is about to lose....clearly her actions this afternoon show you that there just might be something left, so now is the time to play hard ball.

get to that lawyer and get those divorce papers drawn up and show her here this is all going to lead if she continues.

The line in the sand has been drawn!

Remember this ...filing for divorce is not the same as finalizing a divorce.

I hope this tactic pulls your wife out of this affair fog and comes to realize that getting severved is her new reality and takes the step in turning this around and dropping the om and saving her family.

Again having been here this long, this sound like a good case of playing hard ball, pay the dough to have her served and see if its the 2x4 that she needs to come out of this fog.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

On a side note, you do have it documented that you did try to return home but was turned away by the cops...your lucky there were no charges. Actually the cop used a scare tactic and he had no charges...unless your old lady said you pushed her down!!!!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I think she knows how mad I am about it weather she quits is on her. Its a war not the battle that's important before I come to tam I was fighting every battle every day I do thank every one for the encouragement to get a back bone I feel better about myself. Because I did something proactive. I will update and surely need more advice.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

What did you say just before she tossed the plate?


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

She is nuts not stupid I took all the money today. Be 2 weeks before she gets paid again so she will be calling. Life is a bi--- then you take away the cash then its a real mother f----r I may just have the car towed to


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Just before the plate flew I said I'm staying in the house that all I said zoom went the plate few min later cop walks in so ya


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

the guy said:


> On a side note, you do have it documented that you did try to return home but was turned away by the cops...your lucky there were no charges. Actually the cop used a scare tactic and he had no charges...unless your old lady said you pushed her down!!!!


:iagree:

The cop said that in order to keep the peace and prevent further disturbances that day. 

Only a judge can actually order him to stay away, like using a protection order, etc. He can legally go back tomorrow. But he's not following the advice here, like bringing a VAR. 

One of his parents is going to have to be the one to evict her.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Yes lordmayhem that's what the cop basically said! What advice am I not following the VA??


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> No the cop was there when I showed up so I told him the story he told me to leave and start no trouble he left. so like 5 minutes later I left she chased I stopped (she was laying in the street crying )took her in the house talked the plate went flying cop showed up I got told to leave again all told 42 minutes


Do you live in one of those podunk small towns where the cops aren't all that busy?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> Yes lordmayhem that's what the cop basically said! What advice am I not following the VA??


VAR = Voice Activated Recorder.

Go to Best Buy or Wal Mart and get one.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

11,000 people! I have yet to figure out why the cop were at the house?? he knew what I was there for she was talking to him when I got there?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Who did you tell that you were going back home, your folks? best friend?

Who is the OM and what is up with your dad being worried about your old ladies parents.

Was the OM the cop?


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I will do that! I don't know if I will try tomorrow or what? I need to think about all that has happened today and the A her the hole thing is a nightmare a horrible nightmare.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

BTW Tuesday go back home with a witness/ lawyer and a VAR (voice activated recorder. Call the cops and inform them that you will be turning home and would like access to *your* home. 

Make sure you take down the name of the cop that talked to you ( most likely they will tell you they can't help you) and when the cops show back up/ or are already there, then give them the cops name that you talked to and have them call the station.


And one more thing don't tell any one you are moving back home, just show up, crab a bite to eat and find a place were you can stay as far away from your chick as possible.

Have you called work and let them know you have to see a lawyer on Monday?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Breath.....the good thing about nightmares is we always wake up. with or with out our old ladies. You will get through this.

We all have made it out the other side, and so will you!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

No the om is not the cop I known the cop all my life the om is a jobless bum. I know he cop very well and his boy friend lol so I know he ain't the om that made me laugh for some reason ya the cop is as gay as they come.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

So what are the odds of an r after infidelity 50/50 or what???


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Know I'm going to see my lawyer at breakfast she is my sister in law.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ya 50/50

I still with Mrs.the-guy

3 years ago i finaly confronted her about her crap, come to find out for the last 13 years of a 20 yr M she was with 20 OM!

But then again slaping her around for years didn't help the marriage either.

These days ...going on 23 year we both have the tools to have a healthier marrige...but more importantly I have the toools to stya out of jail and control my anger and Mrs. the guy has learned to tools to keep her pants on around OM's.

So if you can see the point here, that the marriage problems are yours to share but her adultory is hers and hers alone. Mrs. the guy could have bailed 7 years into the M but didn't and stuck around only to screw around.

Sure I have spend long hours in IC working on my anger and she has spend session after session excepting what she has become and at the end of the day we both didn't like the poeple we have become.

Its really is about the both of you and how much you both can commit....

If your old lady comes back what is she going to do as an individual to never let this sh1t happen again?

Its all about action and if she can affair proof the marriage then you guys have a great chance, but so many times I read post thread about a fake R...it scary.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Man my spelling goes to crap when I get worked up...sorry


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Oh spelling is a drag! Idk no if we can make it our life was not perfect she makes everything my fault so I get sick of it and do nothing at least when she does talk about it she takes some not much but some responsibility for her bad thing in 
The R if and when she takes responsibility for the cheating then we can start the work on every thing else. If not its going to suck throughing 17yrs down the toilet for a low rent scum bag pos.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

mrmatt72 said:


> Oh spelling is a drag! Idk no if we can make it our life was not perfect she makes everything my fault so I get sick of it and do nothing at least when she does talk about it she takes some not much but some responsibility for her bad thing in
> The R if and when she takes responsibility for the cheating then we can start the work on every thing else. If not its going to suck throughing 17yrs down the toilet for a low rent scum bag pos.


Stop right there. 
Don't even think much less say R until 
You have all the facts
She shows true remorse
The A is over


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

jgi55 hit the nail on the head,(even being her for a few months with only 360 post LOL) you have a long way to go.

Sir, until the Om is completely out of the picture, your mind set must be "the marriage is over" ..."good luck with your new life and there is no more us".

Your old lady just got...if any a taste of some tough love from you.

Hell she is so fogged in she chaced you down the drive crying and in the same 42 minutes assulted you.

So don;t even think about R...it for your own good, you need boundries ...the wall that you must put up to protect you from moreemotional torture she plans to dish out as long as you keep tolorating it.

So stay focused, she is still banging another dude and its time to distance your self. A tactic that will give her a taste of things to come.

Don;t be confussed, you still can live together and be in the maritail home...but now you come and go as you please with out consideration to her, now you show now emotional attachment, no huges and no kisses, and especially no " Ilove you's"....


As long as she is still seeing the OM you two are just coparenting and anything other then paerneting issues she means nothing to you until the Om is completely gone...get it.


Be there for the kid/s and claim your home but be firm and calm in the fact that you can and will let her go if she wants to love someone else...you may have to share the home but you will not share your emotions with a women that has another man in her heart.

You can do this! You can protect your self, but you and your SIL have to make a plan and work the plan.

The fog is thick, you have your work cut out for you...but you have to let them go if you have any chance of getting them back!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You got played by her and the cop too. 

The cop did not have a right to eject you from the home.

Have you changed the address on your drivers license at the DMV? O you still reside there.

Get a lawyer and get smart advice on dealing with her.

Btw. The OM at this point should be posted up on cheaterville.com in all his glory.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Dam I slipped didn't i?!?! Well hope is going to be a real pain in the ars. Got to kill that. Heck maybe in a week I will be so sick of it all I walk. You never know. Thanks for the knock on the head. I'm seeing thing diff the more I read here its got to be a mind set right? Not an act


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So who is this Om? Is he realy divorced? If he is unemployed, were is he staying? 

How well do you know your enemy?


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

If I did what the pre therapy me would of done I would go thermal nuclear melt down on the om and W it would be a felony but I don't do that any more not worth it


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Matt,

Where was the church wedding ceremony held that you did not have a marriage license for?

Nebraska does not have Common Law so it may be fairly easy and inexpensive to get rid of her.

Do your kids look like you? Even if the answer is yes, tell her you're going to do a paternity test on them as part of the divorce.

You have to be willing to burn the village in order to save it and it's time to burn this village.

Quit worrying about the 17 years you've got in this relationship. That's what's called "sunk cost fallacy." look it up. Get in the shape of your life and you can replace her with three younger, hotter women.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I know he is unemployed I hacked her face book an read all the PM. She has been talking to the low rent sob sense march I she said she wanted to breakup 4/28 4/29 I got all her pass words that everything Facebook email twitter all that stuff I nailed her on 5/8 talking sh__ on speaker phone thanks to my iPad I recorded it 34 min phone call in which I listened to 2mi 34 seconds I heard a mans voice that's all I needed. Walked in smashed the galixys3 then I flushed it had a magnum fight she fainted I left memorial day so I feel good in the intell on her the puke I can find the bum if I want.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

O my marriage is just a commitment ceremony with a holy man she found it was a real nice day one of the best a real wedding we never needed a licence from the Gov to say it was forever. It was not important at the time I guess she is my gf more then a w in the eyes of the law


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I may be mistaken, but is it correct to say that your old lady has commitment issues?

Second whats up with her parents and your dad worried about them, is she some entitled princess?

These two issues may answer some of your earlier questions.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you so much about OM have you exposed him for what he really is...sleeping with a married women....do you have proof that adultory has been commited..if so it must be exposed.

Again making the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable as possiple.
Start to edugate your self, depending on the sitch you have some tactics that can achieve this.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

finacially cut off = check
emotionally distancing your self from her = still remains to be seen
getting a lawyer = check
exposure = ?????
getting back in the marital home = pending


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I hope you under stand why I asked if you know the OM...see you can start exposing this to his side of the family by asking them for support for the marriage.

See the tactic here...to other you are asking for support during this time of infidelity in the marriage....but your old lady sees you letting her go.

Again the goal is to make the affair as inconvienent and as uncomfortable as possible.

BTW, I still can't over the fact that your old aldy can live rent free in your folks property and yet they don't want to get involved.


I hope your SIL the atty has a differnet approach to all of this!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

The from my intell the on is on disability lives with a friend of my w. When I jumped her on 5/8 she said they was physical 1 time my be true idk (ya right) I need to reserch this scum bag more. After reading her Facebook pm to on I think he is divorced that chatted about xw butt who knows lieres and cheats so can't trust them. 
As far as parents idk wtf is up dads butt mom seems to be on my side dad does not want to be "drug through the gutter from this" he said I can do as I choose. Don't know more he went to bed! I think I can play mom against dad after 44 yrs of marriage she will set him straight. They essentially do not want the drama and shame. The house I think mom can fix that in the am. Not sure though. Thay are all about being fair my w mom is mentally insane (not poop)
No dad so maybe they worry about her having a place dad said "i cant boot the mother of my grandkids to the street" hello dear parents she has a job a pos AP o wait no job and a girlfriend


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You aren't married, her name isn't on a lease?

See if your parents will grant you power of attorney on the house, then have her evicted.

You need to engage a lawyer to deal with this.

Btw, going thermal nuclear is the right thing to do. You just need to do it the smart way using the law that nukes them and not you.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> 11,000 people! I have yet to figure out why the cop were at the house?? he knew what I was there for she was talking to him when I got there?


Like I said, small town cops. He was there because you told her you were coming home so she called the cops and probably made up a story about how you were going to be violent. You smashed her phone after all.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Yup I smashed her phone a month a go. I didn't tell her. I found out this morning that my own MOM rat me out!!! But I will be in the house Monday after work the w is leaving though to stay at sisters.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

But its entertaing , I thought you found spell check. It just mysteriously turned up on my computer the other day.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Ya my spelling and typing skills stink. Evidence soon to follow. So I got me a awesome voice mail today! I never knew how truly crappy of a husband I was till today the W will never come back I don't love her she has needs. All that i guess she may be right I can see some of that. I'm like I kept my pants on so tell it to the man in the moon. Blame shifting at its pack of performance!!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

mrmatt72 said:


> Yup I smashed her phone a month a go. I didn't tell her. I found out this morning that my own MOM rat me out!!! But I will be in the house Monday after work the w is leaving though to stay at sisters.


Nice, I hope your mom understands the protental of you ending up in jail for snitching you out!

Is she taking the kids?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I know you want to keep your family, but her blameshifting and her leaving the family home just makes the affair that more convienent and comfortable.

Does her sister know why your old lady is moving out?

if not you may want to call your SIL and "ask" her for support during this time of infidelity in the relationship.

See how this tactic works? You are not being vandictive jealous husband sniching on your wife , but a husband that wants her affair to stop and rebuild a family....

Get it?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Now that she is out of the house, your best tactic is exposure far and wide. Again making the affair as inconveinent and as uncomfortable as possible.

Sure this will push her away, and piss her off, but until she tastes the reality of her disicions, she will not think twice in how she is destroy the family.

Remember when asking for other support keep stating that until the OM is out of the picture you will continue with the divorce.

You need to file for divorce and have her served, you can always withdraw the divorce once she stops all contact with OM.

You have to show her (not tell her) how serious this really is. She must see that this isn't someminor missunderstanding and there are consequences and one of them is breaking up the family as she continues to be with OM....you will not share your wife!


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

She will take the kids to sisters! I work odd hours very unpredictable work hrs so idk if the kids and being with her sister is a curse or a blessing sil is a total different kind of women she is all about the family unit idk if she know about A but I will tell her!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Remember, your not so much as telling on your wife, but asking for support from your SIL.

You want to looke like the good guy here not the vantictive jealous husband.

Part of your plan in fighting this has to be damage control. 


You will make the affair alot more comfortable for her if you come off as the controlling husband. your new image to *others* is the husband with the cheating wife. Not the crazt husband that hiw wife *had* to leave him.


Start thinking about tactics here!


Get a better handle on damage control.....dude for what ever reason your own mom switch sides...you have to work on getting a switch in power here and get the support for a husband that had his wife cheat on him...not a husband that had his wife leave him cuz he was a bad husband.

THATS IT...the reason your old lady is outing her self is cuz she is 10 steps ahead of you with her own damage controll.

Dude you do see now that this whole thing is part of an agenda that your wife has worked on from the beginning.


Get to that lawyer ASAP and work on changing the fact that your wife left you cuz of you but cuz she found someone else.

Dude she has been working so hard for all this time in brain washing you in making you believe it was all yo, when in fact she found Om and was working on you and everyone else to come out as the good girl...when infact she has betryaed you, the kids, her family and her friends....all for the new man that got her to drop her pants and break her family up.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

OK like I said before she told the world on social media sites that she is with OM OK I don't see she put that its cheating maybe she thinks people or stupid idk . So I guess I'm thinking people her family friends are drawing ther own conclusions am I wrong???? Should I expose my version or leave it at the fact she did??? She never comes out and says hay world I cheated on Matt!!! Just oh look at me get what I am saying?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think me and others are to blame here! We all should have known better then to jump into this with out stepping back for a day and making a plan and working a plan.

Instead we made comments and Matt made moves that were not thought out and planed out.

Matt I have been here long enough to know better then to act with out thinking it trough...to make a dicision in haste. Sorry


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

So how do I expose with out looking like a prik or jelious husband I want to do this right ideas???


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Oh I think by what went down yesterday some progress was made w know I'm serious she may know now that she is in trouble so I think maybe I need a step by step plan getting in the house is step 1 what is 2:3 and 4. Mom just opened her big mouth don't think she done it to get me in trouble.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

mrmatt72 said:


> OK like I said before she told the world on social media sites that she is with OM OK I don't see she put that its cheating maybe she thinks people or stupid idk . So I guess I'm thinking people her family friends are drawing ther own conclusions am I wrong???? Should I expose my version or leave it at the fact she did??? She never comes out and says hay world I cheated on Matt!!! Just oh look at me get what I am saying?


Yes you should tell your version, but this is the time to work it so that you are the betrayed husband that will not share his wife with another man, and until the infidelity stops you will move on with out her.

Use words like emotional torture and disrespect. what i mean is ask folks for support during this infidelity and and asking for support you need for the open disrespect she has for you while she openly emotionally torture you and the kids by being so open about her new relationship wih her boyfriend.



Start nuking this affair start telling poeple what it really is let poeple know you need support due to her betrayal to not only you but the kids as way.

Ask family and friend...even OM family and friends for support in bring back the family unit and preventing this new relationship from breaking up a home.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

OK not going to lie I'm feeling horribly low today!,!?!?!?! The reality of this sucks. The thought of Exposing her is killing me makes me feel like a hole knowing its going to hurt her!!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Addictions suck and your old lady is ready to break up a family for this addiction. No one wants this, it so much easier to have your cake and eat it to.

Re read your post and your other post, look at the manipulation!

You are trying to save your family and you just can;t nice your way out of this.

Please start a journal and write down the time line of the affair, the start of all this distance, document how this all started. 

go see a counselor and step back and find out exactly what you are going to challange.

Alls I knwo is one day your wife told you she was un happy, but what were the signs before this.

Then Memeorial day was d-day and you found that there was some one else.

That someone else has been emotionally infecting the marriage for alot longer then you know.



My point is you have to get organized, and when you get organized you will feel more in control.


Monday you go see the lawyer ....again more organizing moree planing and setting up the best approach for your problem.


For now stay dark with everyone, make sure SIL is on board nothing goes to her husband/your brother (assuming) that could end up with your moms big mouth.


I also suggest you get a second opinion and consult another lawyer(it free).


step back man and regroup...think...think what your best play is...think about the kids...hell go ask your mom to call the wife and see if you can spend a hour with them tonight...it will ground you and help you see the big picture ---even if your old lady can;t.




Your old lady is in the fog....focus on working on your self, DO NOT LET THIS CRAP DEFINE YOU!!!! 
Its not what knocks us down that matters, its how we get back up that counts.

So phucker keep your sh1t together and get straight...with or with out your old lady you have to be there for your kids cuz right now there mom is fogged in with some POS unemployeed MOF!!!!!!!!!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

mrmatt72 said:


> OK not going to lie I'm feeling horribly low today!,!?!?!?! The reality of this sucks. The thought of Exposing her is killing me makes me feel like a hole knowing its going to hurt her!!!!


Tough love isn't about the crap the one you love has to go thru, its about the tough crap *you* have to do to show the one you love is making unhealthy choice for their family!

Just remember don't act hastely...we say what happened the last time, take the time to think and educate your self before you act. 

Exposure can vary from...say what you expose to her friend versus what you expose to the OM family.

Her freind already know but do they know that she betrayed you and keep it hidden for so many weeks or that you have been working on protecting the marriage but the Om is getting in the way.

Versus exposing the affair to the OM family and telling them that your are still together and their sons involvment is tearing up the kids and breaking up there family and that no matter what they have heard that the kids need both parents and there son or brother is effecting your wifes choices.


Keep it together man stratigies and plan 


go work out, lifting wieghts help out alot when I was going thru this crap 3 years ago.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Thanks guy. Just been a down day. Does IC really help??? I am trying to stay bussy. DDay was may 8 that's when it all came out I left memorial day the I need time story the W said made sense at the time


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> 11,000 people! I have yet to figure out why the cop were at the house?? he knew what I was there for she was talking to him when I got there?


Is she having an affair with a police officer? OM2? :scratchhead:


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

No the cop I have know for 30 yrs I know he is gay been gay his hole life I said that yesterday day I found out why he was at the house mom told W


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> No the cop I have know for 30 yrs I know he is gay been gay his hole life I said that yesterday day I found out why he was at the house mom told W


Ah. Even so, he might have broken the law or departmental rules. File a complaint.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

No. Leave the cop alone. He kept Matt out of jail.

Matt

You want steps 2 and 3.

Get back in your house tomorrow. 

Anything left of hers put in big black garbage bags like you are taking out the trash.

Bag her crap and dump it off at SIL's like you are taking out the trash.

No prewarning. It sends a clear message.
Do not engage your wife or the kids.

Step 3
Call an attorney or two. Have a phone conference and see one right away.
Discuss $$$, the house and shared custody of the kids.
Hit your wife with custody and visitation papers ASAP.

Hit her fast and hard. Keep her off balance.

Step 4.
Control your anger. The OM is not the issue. Your girl is the issue.

All this legal stuff takes time. Look your best. Stay cool, calm and dispassionate.

Get in shape if you need to.

Maybe she will come around maybe not.

Take the time to decide if you want to be with a liar and cheater.

I bet there are plenty of good women out there in Nebraska for you.

So take your time and work on your issues.

You and your girl have been together since she was 19. Now you are seeing the real woman she has become.

It is eye opening.

You can only control you. So control yourself. Be a man.

And be a great Dad!

HM64


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

You need to go dark on your parents, and make sure anyone else you confide your plans in keeps them secret. Clearly your parents do not understand where your best interests lie.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

mrmatt72 said:


> OK not going to lie I'm feeling horribly low today!,!?!?!?! The reality of this sucks. The thought of Exposing her is killing me makes me feel like a hole knowing its going to hurt her!!!!


Matt Cut the SH!T and do what you have to do.Expose the light of day on the A

You have to get it to stop now there is no other choice


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> You need to go dark on your parents, and make sure anyone else you confide your plans in keeps them secret. Clearly your parents do not understand where your best interests lie.


Yes they are underminding you


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I'm doing all I can to get the A out there. I do want my girl back!!!! My family!!!! I do not want to nuke this so bad that my kids suffer more then they have. I think being from a broken home would be easier then Bing in a blood bath between the parents just want to do this right. Ok that said I am exposing I am going home I have appointment for ic for me and kids. I also don't want to humiliate the w to the point of hatred if it don't work out I have to have her in my life we do have 2 kids. So panicking is not an option. Getting my sh1t in a row is.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I will be home tomorrow she will be at sil kids with her. I'm trying to do a tactical strike! Do you guys think in wrong??


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

As to parents they are #2 on the sh1t list for sure.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> I will be home tomorrow she will be at sil kids with her. I'm trying to do a tactical strike! Do you guys think in wrong??


No. You need to act. Be confident and act with conviction.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

So just go nut exposing????


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Not nuts.

Do it in a way that has force behind it.

Follow the steps I outlined in #103.

When you speak to your SIL thank her for taking your wife in. Tell her you just cannot be under the same roof while she is dating/Sleeping with the OM. Tell her this has been going on since March and you cannot take it any longer.....

That is all you say. Let them draw their own conclusions.

Do the same with her parents. Tell them you want to keep it amicable. Say the same facts that you told SIL.

That is how you start.

Then you have her served custody papers. Double whammy.

Just be cool and calm.

Keep a VAR on you at all times for her meltdowns.

HM64


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

So screw sudelty go for shock and awe? Blow this sum bit-- up???


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

OK OK blow it up won't work had a vision haha! Ya I see just keep it calm factual and that's it! These tactics are to make the A miserable?? And break the fog rite?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> OK OK blow it up won't work had a vision haha! Ya I see just keep it calm factual and that's it! These tactics are to make the A miserable?? And break the fog rite?


Exactly!:iagree::iagree:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> I will be home tomorrow she will be at sil kids with her. I'm trying to do a tactical strike! Do you guys think in wrong??


Now YOU can change the locks. It's not your home or her home.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

:iagree:


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> OK OK blow it up won't work had a vision haha! Ya I see just keep it calm factual and that's it! These tactics are to make the A miserable?? And break the fog rite?


YOu are trying to bust up the affair. Right now she is living in a reality with an OM where he and she are able to live this carefree live without consequences. The relationship is shallow, lacks depth, and lacks the experience of dealing with problems. If you take that fragile relationship and expose her selfishness, lies, and show her true nature. Then that relationship suddenly becomes the burden that it really is. And she is going to have to live everyday facing all of the people she hurt. So stop worrying so much and expose to her friends, family, your family, anyone who will listen. IF it was a work relationship call their HR department and report thier activites.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

Exposed went good talked to om,s w not divorced as I thought. Omw and I talked to his parents. Then the sh1t hit the fan with my w squirmed and flipped out so think made some progress will have to see. Some people just don't live in reality.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

mrmatt72 said:


> Exposed went good talked to om,s w not divorced as I thought. Omw and I talked to his parents. Then the sh1t hit the fan with my w squirmed and flipped out so think made some progress will have to see. Some people just don't live in reality.


Good for you.

Keep spreading the good word and let his wife help your cause.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

mrmatt72 said:


> Exposed went good talked to om,s w not divorced as I thought. Omw and I talked to his parents. Then the sh1t hit the fan with my w squirmed and flipped out so think made some progress will have to see. Some people just don't live in reality.


Now you are in control


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

mrmatt72 said:


> Exposed went good talked to om,s w not divorced as I thought. Omw and I talked to his parents. Then the sh1t hit the fan with my w squirmed and flipped out so think made some progress will have to see. Some people just don't live in reality.


Many pats on the back. You are the man. No matter what happened you have shown you will not be played.:smthumbup:


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Its hard to believe no one from her side of the family saw the FB page and figured out she was cheating.


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## mrmatt72 (Jun 8, 2013)

I have had to make some very hard choices after talking to om w. As for the affair and my family I am not about to allow this to hurt my kids. the om w and I have decided o meet for our own reasons. I have made the internal as did the other w that I don not want to try and save some thing that my w om placed so little value on as to through it away. There actions speek volumes as to the value that cheaters placed on these 2 marriages these two families.I have filed for divorce so has the other BS. Its so very sad that 4 kids have to live with this so sad that 2 good people had to have there lives destroid over such stupidity Ann's selfishness. 
All that's left is to get even with the black hearted betrayer's as the BS and I coincidentally have the same attorney.


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