# Finally Getting a Divorce



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I've been quiet around here for some time now.

Funny - now that we are working together on how to dissolve things - how much better we are getting along.

She's actually filing.

Must admit - I'm optimistic that I have a much better chance to be happy without her. But also - I'm scared. Scared of the unknown and of being alone.

Just wanted to share the news and say "thank you" to all that have invested their time in my little life's drama!

(Another reason I've been staying off the boards is we've been told at work that they've increased their internet monitoring efforts)


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Can't say I'm really surprised.

But, I am sad.

You deserve better. And, I hope you find it.



nice777guy said:


> I've been quiet around here for some time now.
> 
> Funny - now that we are working together on how to dissolve things - how much better we are getting along.
> 
> ...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Nothing wrong with trying to save your marriage. Neither of you can say that you didn't try. And for all of those that think we live in a 'throw-away' marriage society, examples such as yours demonstrate that is certainly not the case.

How are the kids?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> Nothing wrong with trying to save your marriage. Neither of you can say that you didn't try. And for all of those that think we live in a 'throw-away' marriage society, examples such as yours demonstrate that is certainly not the case.
> 
> How are the kids?


Conrad - thx.

Kids seem to understand. There was too much conflict. Too many "discussions" behind closed doors. I think - after some transition time - that we'll all be much happier.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Good to hear it.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You did the best you could, bro.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Sorry NiceGuy, I have wondered at times "hhmmm wonder what happened to him". 

You can hardly have regrets that YOU didn't give it YOUR ALL.....even though it hurts terribly, that is worth something.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

You’ll grieve for a while NG. it will probably help you to look up the seven stages of grief. Time is a great healer. I used to be afraid of living by myself but now I’m actually doing it I’m thoroughly enjoying it, I think on “Alone but not lonely”. It’s very important to have a good social circle, many friends and I’m so glad I consciously took the time to build that up. Once your grieving is over, it will take quite a while, you will find your mind starts to free up and go places it’s never been before. I think it exceptionally important to make and keep your body as healthy as can be with a good diet and exercise, keep really fit with good muscle tone and strength. And perhaps to walk the soulful and spiritual side of life for a while, look into other ways of life like Buddhism and Hinduism that sort of thing. But I think dreams and plans are the most important things … to keep us future focused and working “in the now” to make those dreams come true. For me one of them is backpacking around SE Asia for 6 months and dropping in on some Buddhist monasteries.


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## disbelief (Oct 31, 2010)

AFEH said:


> You’ll grieve for a while NG. it will probably help you to look up the seven stages of grief. Time is a great healer. I used to be afraid of living by myself but now I’m actually doing it I’m thoroughly enjoying it, I think on “Alone but not lonely”. It’s very important to have a good social circle, many friends and I’m so glad I consciously took the time to build that up. Once your grieving is over, it will take quite a while, you will find your mind starts to free up and go places it’s never been before. I think it exceptionally important to make and keep your body as healthy as can be with a good diet and exercise, keep really fit with good muscle tone and strength. And perhaps to walk the soulful and spiritual side of life for a while, look into other ways of life like Buddhism and Hinduism that sort of thing. But I think dreams and plans are the most important things … to keep us future focused and working “in the now” to make those dreams come true. For me one of them is backpacking around SE Asia for 6 months and dropping in on some Buddhist monasteries.


:iagree::iagree: Great advice. 
If you like next to free and groups and a way to deal with the whole thing, even though I am in the limbo phase going to the Divorcecare group/class was/ still is extremly helpful for me. Sorry you are at this point.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Sorry NG, on to better things. I think there are times when divorce is an act of courage.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Trenton said:


> I think there are times when divorce is an act of courage.


I like this. Sometimes it is JUST FOR THE BEST, but you may not realize this or feel this -until many months or years later when your life has taken a much better turn, you meet that special someone -who you wonder how you got along without your whole life. Hopefully anyway. 

Maybe I believe too much in fairy tales, I don't know, but life is what we make it. So long as you have breathe, their is HOPE for a better day.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

After 2 years of fighting it, I know it truly is the best thing.

In many ways, I've already been through parts of the grieving process. But of course you still go back and forth between the stages.

I'm actually pretty optimistic about things - at the moment.

My wife will be taking a lot of "her" things with her.

I'm keeping the house. We have - for now - come to fair and reasonable agreements on custody and finances. My wife - with her parents help - just closed on a house yesterday.

I plan to continue practicing Karate - WITH my girls. I'll be able to put my guitars / amps wherever I'd like. For a short time, I'll be replacing the love seat and recliner with bean bag chairs! Or maybe a futon!

Even when I try to focus on the positive though, I'll have a moment here and there where I just feel alone. Don't have much real family. Wife had been my best friend until a couple of years ago. So - I'm going to have to come out of my shell a bit and "learn" how to make friends again.

But all of that energy and time I was spending - trying to fix things that I just couldn't fix - can now be used for something better.

Thanks again for all the help and support.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

NG,
You will be just fine. You are an amazing person who deserves all the happiness you can possibly find. 
Hey, now you can make your move on Jennifer Lopez! I hear she is single now.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Nice to hear from you, sad your marriage couldn't get back on track. One door shuts another one opens. Take care.


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