# Green light for spouse to date?



## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

I have an additional question. My husband apparently has been unfaithful in various ways for a while now. We are now separated and he has an apartment. Is is INSANE to request of him that he not talk to other women/date until our divorce is final? Is is understood that people have the "green light" to date once separated? I have not even filed yet. I DO realize given his history that he is going to do whatever he wants, and there is a woman that he is kind of "dating" now I believe. Thanks for all input.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

If your plan is to maybe reconcile, then requesting that is fine. In fact i would 100% support it.

If you plan on D, then he will do whatever he wants. You can request it, but he probably won't care. He'll do it for all the reasons he did before and because he is mad at the D.


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## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

Thank you "anx." I DO feel like reconciling, but for all the wrong reasons, and we would just end up where we were before. HE is the one who is pushing this D, so you're right. HE is going to do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants I guess  Still hurts so badly. Such a betrayal.....................


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well if your'e done, then you're done. If you want to reconcile, I would expose his affair. If he wants out though, you're facing an uphill battle--if he wants out--let him go.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

:iagree:


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I agree with the others. Does infidelity play a role in divorce proceedings in your state? If it does, you may want him to carry on.  Once the other spouse moves out of the house, you really have no say in their life anymore. It's pointless.


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## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

i left and am in the same position as you. as soon as i said i needed a break and wanted to be sep. for awhile (because i was confused about things and trying to work things out has been one sided) it only took him about 2 weeks to find someone new. all the while telling me he wants to get back together to work things out. i decided that after all that and him lying to me, not even telling me the truth, it's just not worth it anymore. this person who i would not have thought to do this did and yes i am hurt and have decided to not put myself through that anymore. better to be alone.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

better to be alone for at least the time being, 2 weeks, wow, can't believe it !


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## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

i still can't believe it. oh well. i'm done. hurt and all but i know in my heart i'm done.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

mama said:


> i still can't believe it. oh well. i'm done. hurt and all but i know in my heart i'm done.


I see no signs that W wants to even think about getting back together, and yeah, it hurts, but I know I have to move forward, with or without her, not for her, for me !


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## Kcrat (Mar 18, 2011)

Yes, 827aug, infidelity DOES matter in Texas!!!!! Yee Haw!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mama, if you know in nyour heart you are done, then just get it over with, hard as it may be.

Two weeks later? My bet is he was involved with her for longer than that, sadly.


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## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

well two weeks later is when he created a profile on an online dating site. he put sep. but put no children even though we have two.  i agree on the moving past it part. what's done is done and i just got to remember that i'm worth more and i need to do what's best for me and my kids and not what's best for him anymore. as hard as it is i have to do it.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

I am on a 'dating' site, my profile reads something along the lines of''not looking dating, just friends' 

At the moment I am having some real good conversations with a few people, one being a lady who is 4 years older than myself, we have both said that we would like to actually meet at some stage, not for a date, just face to face chat, over a coffee, during the day.
Will it happen, who knows, maybe.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

mama said:


> well two weeks later is when he created a profile on an online dating site. he put sep. but put no children even though we have two.  i agree on the moving past it part. what's done is done and i just got to remember that i'm worth more and i need to do what's best for me and my kids and not what's best for him anymore. as hard as it is i have to do it.


kick him where it hurts !
saying he doesn't have kids, low life.
Damn straight you are worth more than that, saying you don't have kids, esp of a dating site, is lower than low IMO !


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Kcrat said:


> Yes, 827aug, infidelity DOES matter in Texas!!!!! Yee Haw!


Well, then.....Just give him the rope and let him hang himself. Make sure you collect the evidence. Since you are in Texas, sit back and enjoy the rodeo.


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