# Just signed



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Just signed my separation agreement that my lawyer drafted up, and also the application for divorce judgement. My stbxw has an appointment with her lawyer next week to sign them, and if all goes well divorce will be official in a month or two. Strangely it feels good to be the one doing this, despite this is all what she wanted and not at all what I wanted.


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## IfIwasYourVampire (Jan 5, 2012)

congrats! you're a free man


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Hey Lon,
Im glad for you man, to be bringing an end to the nightmare. Heres to forward momentum!!!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I kinda feel like the nightmare has been over for awhile, just cleaning up the little details. I have been feeling more and more like a free man as this for process has been unfolding, but just as when you feel good after tidying up a room I feel just a little "more" free now. I will feel yet more liberated once I have the divorce decree in my hand signed by a judge.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Well before signing she wanted one "clarification" she said.

Turns out what she wanted is to ammend the agreement so I pay for the entire cost of the divorce application. Nice, even though I paid to have the separation agreement made, am already cashing out every last dime of retirement savings (and taking the tax hit on them) to settle up the assets so that my son still has the home he has always known intact, and despite it was all her who wanted to be separated and divorced, and even though we already verbally agreed to split the divorce application cost down the middle, she now backtracks and chooses to be petty and unreasonable and stick me with an extra $750 on my bill.

I will just take the high road and pay it because it is still worth being free and clear of this train wreck. I have pity for her that she is the petty one who stuck her child's father with the price of her freedom to go live the single life, have the fun she craves while forever missing out on the man she had whom loved her unconditionally and accepted her for who she REALLY is (which I truly believe is not the person she has been so desperately trying to be)


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

update:

got the divorce judgement in the mail on Friday... it's pretty much official... well, officially the divorce decree takes effect Apr.6th, so a couple more weeks then I can legally remarry (lol, yeah right like that will happen)


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

good for you - I'm also going to be the one to file despite the fact he left me

we were going to separate for two years and then divorce but spoke to a lawyer today and he said 'why are you going to do that?'. Don't want him to have any claim on the house once I've bought him out so need to go the whole way

know that I'll feel better once it's done - but remarry? hell no, not for a loooooooong time!


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Shouldn't the person who wanted the divorce be the one to pay for it?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Lon said:


> Well before signing she wanted one "clarification" she said.
> 
> Turns out what she wanted is to ammend the agreement so I pay for the entire cost of the divorce application. Nice, even though I paid to have the separation agreement made, am already cashing out every last dime of retirement savings (and taking the tax hit on them) to settle up the assets so that my son still has the home he has always known intact, and despite it was all her who wanted to be separated and divorced, and even though we already verbally agreed to split the divorce application cost down the middle, she now backtracks and chooses to be petty and unreasonable and stick me with an extra $750 on my bill.
> 
> I will just take the high road and pay it because it is still worth being free and clear of this train wreck. I have pity for her that she is the petty one who stuck her child's father with the price of her freedom to go live the single life, have the fun she craves while forever missing out on the man she had whom loved her unconditionally and accepted her for who she REALLY is (which I truly believe is not the person she has been so desperately trying to be)


you got lucky on this one.
my exw made agreements with me 5 different times then backed out just when she was supposed to sign.
i think she finally figured out that stalling wasnt going to do her any good as far as me going back to her.

good luck in your new life.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

justabovewater said:


> Shouldn't the person who wanted the divorce be the one to pay for it?


lol

my ex wanted it too, in the end i had to pay all the court costs too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I paid for my divorce ... $134


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Congrats! yea, and that turd should have paid.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Hang in there Lon. It will all be over soon, and then you can get on with your life.

By the way, you will find someone again and fall in love. Don't doubt it for a minute.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My friends and therapist predict he will force me to file... by causing financial problems that I will want to avoid and he has played the victim even though he is the one that abandoned us/me. 

Congrats Lon! I am glad you feel good about it and hope you continue w/ that feeling.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm not really resentful that I was the one to file and pay for most, I kinda expected that, she is not good with money and doesn't earn much and I just wanted to get this behind me quick, in my mind and heart it is over.

Though its not easy, for some reason I've had an uncontrollable sobfest tonight and its not from this or any one thing its like everything piled onto my mind at once tonight and my muscles are all sore right now from contracting them so hard. Human minds (or atleast mine) are such a fvcked up thing.

Anyways thanks all for the comments on here, especially bandit on this one for the vote of confidence.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Its good to let it out sometimes. This is a very traumatic thing we are going through, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Most days I still feel like I am carrying around a 100 pound weight on my chest. We will all be great one day, never mind fine!


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