# My brothers girlfriend cheats on him with 2 of her younger co workers ??



## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

I found out on facebook and instagram.
Is a woman thing.

Shes a night shift manager at a local department store.

Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift.

I asked her through text and she confessed to it. ( she and I are close )
She stated that their relationship has been bad for a while.

When I asked her how long this has been going on she said" about a year. "


My brother (27) and his girlfriend (26) have been together for 5 years now and they have no kids.


I'm really not that close to him ( hes pushed me a few times when we were younger ) but can't stand the fact that he doesn't know anything. 


Should I talk to him, or should I let it go because it's really none of my business (that will be so hard though).



If I talk to him, how should I go about it?


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift.


Do you know the nature of the flirting and talking? I guess it's hard to give advice without a clear picture of what's going on. Are they talking about sexual flirty stuff or is it that they are talking to her in a familiar way like she's a guy? It's certainly not good to flirt with people when you're in a relationship, but it could also be that she's just really casual with them and doesn't see it as flirting.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

wilson said:


> Doesthepainstop said:
> 
> 
> > Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift.
> ...



Yeah its sexual. I used to work there a whike back. I still hear stories.

I found out a while back.


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## Dragan Jovanovic (Jan 16, 2019)

Definitely tell your brother. No matter that you are not close,he is still your brother,your blood. Dont let him to be played like a fool.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Tell your brother even if you are not on good terms with him; he deserve better. Tell him that you are sorry, but brothers look out for each other. This might be the window for you two to make amends. At the least, you tried.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

One more thing. Im a FEMALE. Which is why I mentioned the pushing lol


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

You don't necessarily have to come out and lay it all out for him. You can just point him in the right direction and let him take it from there. You can mention something to your brother like "Someone told me they overheard how GF was talking to M18 and M19. It sounded pretty flirty. Do you know what's up with that?" It could be that he already knows but doesn't care. Don't feel like you have to convince him. If he wants to know the truth, he can ask you more questions or look into it himself. You don't necessarily want to poison the relationship with the GF. There's a chance they will work it out and he could marry her and be with her forever. So let him know that something might be going on, but then step back and let it take its course.

I also wonder what's up with the GF being so open with you. Certainly she has to realize that you may mention this to your brother. Maybe she's hoping he finds out and breaks up. Even if that is the case, don't jump into the circus. Let them figure it out.

I'm also assuming that the flirting is all talk and that things haven't gone physical. If she's been physical with the guys, even kissing, then it's probably worth jumping in and getting her out of his life.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

My brother can be a huge PITA too. But so can I. My bro is also amazing, and awesome. We two have each others backs no matter what. This wouldn't even be a thought in my head. Gather more info if you want and take it all too him.

If he decides to stay with her though, that could be tricky. But that is ok. You did what you could. 

#Family First. 

#Team Siblings.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Yeah its sexual. I used to work there a whike back. I still hear stories.
> 
> I found out a while back.


What if he gets an STD? WHat if he marries her? What if they create kids together? Help get rid of her now.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Tell him.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

Tell your brother show him the text messages 
and anything else you can get her to send you.
Proof !! My two adult sons disagree on many many
things. Siblings do that from time to time.

They always have each others back. If he 
gets upset at least you told him. ASAP do this !!


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

wilson said:


> You don't necessarily have to come out and lay it all out for him. You can just point him in the right direction and let him take it from there. You can mention something to your brother like "Someone told me they overheard how GF was talking to M18 and M19. It sounded pretty flirty. Do you know what's up with that?" It could be that he already knows but doesn't care. Don't feel like you have to convince him. If he wants to know the truth, he can ask you more questions or look into it himself. You don't necessarily want to poison the relationship with the GF. There's a chance they will work it out and he could marry her and be with her forever. So let him know that something might be going on, but then step back and let it take its course.
> 
> I also wonder what's up with the GF being so open with you. Certainly she has to realize that you may mention this to your brother. Maybe she's hoping he finds out and breaks up. Even if that is the case, don't jump into the circus. Let them figure it out.


Why conceal details? She should tell her brother what she know in full. But yes, she is not supposed to make his decisions for him afterwards.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

LeGenDary_Man said:


> Why conceal details? She should tell her brother what she know in full. But yes, she is not supposed to make his decisions for him afterwards.


Some care should be taken since they are brother and sister. It's not unusual for the person doing the informing of the cheating to be made out to be an enemy of the relationship. If the GF can bat her eyes in the right way and get her BF back, Doesthepainstop may become an outsider and become more estranged from her brother. A sibling relationship lasts a lifetime. Even if it's not so great now, it might not always be like that. If the brother doesn't care to look into it more, then it's his problem to deal with and he'll live with the consequences.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

"Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift"

LOL Interesting mind picture from this sentence in the context given. Well put.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Set up a throwaway email account email him from an internet cafe or a library pretend you are a coworker and tell him about the affair.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

MaiChi said:


> "Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift"
> 
> LOL Interesting mind picture from this sentence in the context given. W
> ell put.



Oh what type of image do u get from it lol ??


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I'd encourage your friend to tell your brother herself. Tell her it isn't right to go behind his back, and that if their relationship is that bad, to just break up. If she refuses, then you should tell him, and let her know before you do.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If you say nothing then what you are saying is that you are giving her your blessing to continue cheat. Is this the type of closes you want in your life?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If the shoe were on the other foot would you want to know?

If your brother knew you where being deceived and played the way he is being played would you be ok with him keeping this secret from you?

Treat others how you would want to be treated and you have your answer.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

I guess you guys are right


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Oh what type of image do u get from it lol ??


Works UNDER her. Lol.


Tell him!!!!

You could ask, "if Maggie was cheating on you for the last year would you want me to tell you?"

Have the messages ready.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

You need to tell him everything you know and can find out . ask yourself this do you him to maybe marry her and maybe even raise kids that may not be his only for him to find out years down the road she cheated on him the hole time they was married and be so hurt that anything could happen to him . tell him now so nothing like that happens . 

You might be very surprised at how much he would love you for having his back . let him know you love him as a brother and don't want him hurt down the road .

Keep us updated on how thing go we are here to help .


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

It's your bother?! 

He pushed you when you were young?

How old are you? 

You can't be serious.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Of course you should tell him everything you know and share the evidence.

Do not forewarn his girlfriend and do not give her the option of coming clean, she will lie, blame him and do all the horrible things cheaters do.

She might even try to get knocked up so she can hold on to him.

The only thing to do is tell him immediately.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Doesthepainstop said:


> I guess you guys are right


If you are really asking this question sincerely then I would like to ask you one. 
Should you be on the Internet without supervision at your age?


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Think of it this way. The cheating will probably come out sooner or later. How do you think it will be received by your brother if he finds out you knew about it and didn't tell him? What do you think your parents would say? Other siblings or friends?

You are probably going to have to face him for a lot of Thanksgivings as long as your parents are alive. Once the secret is out, how much more interaction do you think you will have with the girlfriend?

For most people, thinking of it this way would pretty much turn it into a slam-dunk for telling.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Ive noticed that this happens a lot.

These older women in their late 20s and 30s having sex with these high school students and **** like that ??

It's on the news and youtube all the time.

This situation is a lot like that.


P.S Im waiting for him to hit me back.


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## oldtruck (Feb 15, 2018)

You must tell your brother.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

oldtruck said:


> You must tell your brother.


I left a message but he hasnt responded


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Will your brother believe you? Or is your relationship so ****ed he is going to think you are just causing drama? Maybe it doesn't matter, just be direct and tell him what his girlfriend has said or forward some text to him where she admits it. Tell him you're sorry but you can't bare to see him cheated on so have to let him know.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Cooper said:


> Will your brother believe you? Or is your relationship so ****ed he is going to think you are just causing drama? Maybe it doesn't matter, just be direct and tell him what his girlfriend has said or forward some text to him where she admits it. Tell him you're sorry but you can't bare to see him cheated on so have to let him know.


Every time I tried warning him about things that was happening behind his back in the past. Hed get angry at ne and curse me out for " interfering " or something along the lines. He never listens to me.


So to answer your question no he would not


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Cooper said:
> 
> 
> > Will your brother believe you? Or is your relationship so ****ed he is going to think you are just causing drama? Maybe it doesn't matter, just be direct and tell him what his girlfriend has said or forward some text to him where she admits it. Tell him you're sorry but you can't bare to see him cheated on so have to let him know.
> ...




I havent told him whats going on because im tryina get him to respond to me


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Even if he gets pissed off, at least you told him. WHat he does with the info is up to him.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Doesthepainstop said:


> I found out on facebook and instagram.
> Is a woman thing.
> 
> Shes a night shift manager at a local department store.
> ...


Your bother is your business. If he can't count on family who can he count on?

Do you think his girlfriend is physically cheating?


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

Doesthepainstop

Another aspect of this is that if you withhold this from him, he finds out about the flirting or whatever, and then he finds out that his sister knew it was going on and did not tell him about it, he will feel that you betrayed him. Your duty is to tell him and then let him decide if he wants to take action. At the very least, he cannot blame you for your inaction. Tell him that you had doubts about telling him, but you decided that it was your duty to warn him about the possible affair.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

skerzoid said:


> Doesthepainstop
> 
> Another aspect of this is that if you withhold this from him, he finds out about the flirting or whatever, and then he finds out that his sister knew it was going on and did not tell him about it, he will feel that you betrayed him. Your duty is to tell him and then let him decide if he wants to take action. At the very least, he cannot blame you for your inaction. Tell him that you had doubts about telling him, but you decided that it was your duty to warn him about the possible affair.


This 100%.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

skerzoid said:


> Doesthepainstop
> 
> Another aspect of this is that if you withhold this from him, he finds out about the flirting or whatever, and then he finds out that his sister knew it was going on and did not tell him about it, he will feel that you betrayed him. Your duty is to tell him and then let him decide if he wants to take action. At the very least, he cannot blame you for your inaction. Tell him that you had doubts about telling him, but you decided that it was your duty to warn him about the possible affair.



I want her to tell him. Hell just cuss me out


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Chaparral said:


> Doesthepainstop said:
> 
> 
> > I found out on facebook and instagram.
> ...


With those two boys ??? yes.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

TELL him before he finds out some other way and then finds out you already knew. He WILL throw some of the blame your way in his anger. Do you really want that?


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## NorseViking (Apr 14, 2018)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Theres these two guys 19 and 18 that work under her and they flirt and talk with her throught the shift.
> I asked her through text and she confessed to it. ( she and I are close )
> She stated that their relationship has been bad for a while.
> When I asked her how long this has been going on she said" about a year. "


Cheaters LIE and DENY!
NEVER EVER trust a cheater!
Tell your brother and let him decide.
And tell your parents if he does not.
They should know what awful person she is.


Doesthepainstop said:


> My brother (27) and his girlfriend (26) have been together for 5 years now
> and they have no kids.


No Kids? She must go ASAP!
Still young to split and find new partners.
You do not keep crappy people like that in your life.
Shut her out and go no contact.


Doesthepainstop said:


> I'm really not that close to him ( hes pushed me a few times when we were younger )
> but can't stand the fact that he doesn't know anything.
> Should I talk to him, or should I let it go
> because it's really none of my business (that will be so hard though).
> If I talk to him, how should I go about it?


Tell him, he will be grateful if he is smart.
He will become depressed, full of anger and rage, have PTSD,
and maybe also have suicidal thoughts.
His GF will also feel the effect by getting her dreamworld crushed.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Doesthepainstop said:


> I want her to tell him. Hell just cuss me out


She might not come clean, or trickle-truth him if he finds out on his own, and also learn that you knew but did not alert him. She might even attempt to manipulate your brother, and play him against you out of revenge, if she realize your reluctance.

You should be upfront in your disclosure (tell your brother everything you have learned about the affairs of his GF). 

Write to him on these lines: "Brother, I understand that we are not really close at the moment, and I do not want to hurt you in any way or form, but I have noticed that your GF is not faithful to you (insert details). Please understand that my disclosure is in good faith, and I hope that you will not resent me for this disclosure. I have your best interest at heart, and you are free to decide what to do next. I had to clear my conscience. Profound regards."


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## NorseViking (Apr 14, 2018)

Doesthepainstop said:


> P.S Im waiting for him to hit me back.


Do not be a doormat!
Tell him to respect you or he is going to jail.
NEVER back down, be tough and tell him to rot in hell 
with his cheating GF if that happens.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

NorseViking said:


> Doesthepainstop said:
> 
> 
> > P.S Im waiting for him to hit me back.
> ...


Thank you for this. He can be intimidating sometimes


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Full disclosure: I have neither cheated nor have been cheated on (to my knowledge).

That said, from all evidence, it seems like the girlfriend wants the OP's brother to find out. First, she posts the flirting all over her social media, and then, since he is still oblivious, made sure his sister knew after being asked. All of this started a year ago, when she turned 25.

25 is the age at which the prefrontal cortex goes fully online. I think she evaluated her life, and decided it was time to go on to the next stage. I think she's trying to force a come to Jesus moment with her boyfriend, setting the stage for him to realize that he needs to either cough up a ring or let her go.

I'm about to head to a "couple's wedding shower" (WTF is up with those, anyway?) where this exact situation played out, so apparently it can work.

YMMV, but that's my take, based upon what we've been told.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Doesthepainstop said:


> I want her to tell him. Hell just cuss me out


Then send him an email or a text.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

NorseViking said:


> Do not be a doormat!
> Tell him to respect you or he is going to jail.
> NEVER back down, be tough and tell him to rot in hell
> with his cheating GF if that happens.


I don't think she meant physically hit her back. I thought she meant respond to her call or text?

Did I miss something?


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

FieryHairedLady said:


> NorseViking said:
> 
> 
> > Do not be a doormat!
> ...


What I meant is is that he dosent usually respond to my calls or texts and hes bad tempered


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Well you are looking out for him. 

There are health issue involved.

Life time or life limiting STD's.

You are doing the right thing.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Tell him, "Brother, your gf has admitted to cheating on you with 2 men. I'm telling you this because I love you and don't want you to be hurt worse, the longer it goes on. I have text evidence on my phone where she admits it to me straight out, when I asked her. I will save them so you can read them yourself if you decide to.

Sorry to be the bringer of bad news. I love you and will always have your back.

Signed, 

Doesthepainstop

How old were the two of you when he pushed you?

My children have done stupid, insensitive things, mostly when they were younger. I don't hold it against them after they grow up. I also did stupid things when I was younger.

If your brother isn't still pushing you, and if he is sorry, let it go. I'm sure you were also mean to him when you were younger. You're not that mean sister anymore. I hope he will also forgive you.

Family ties, when the people are healthy and loving are need to be strengthened.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

NorseViking said:


> Do not be a doormat!
> Tell him to respect you or he is going to jail.
> NEVER back down, be tough and tell him to rot in hell
> with his cheating GF if that happens.


"hit me back" is slang for "reply". 


She did not mean she was waiting to be struck by him.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

You could always tell your parents and have them to tell him . he might be more inclined to believe them . and that way to he doesn't get mad at you . but make sure you show them the text and what ever else you have .


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Just forward him the texts of his GF admitting it to you and be done with it. If he gets pissed about proof in his face then **** him and feed him fish heads. Plus you won't have to worry about how to word it or if he yells because it would be in text.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Before I posted to this forum some people told me to stay out of it because it could blow up in my face and hell problably just ***** at me about how relationships work since im so young.


Does this even sound right ???


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Talk!

There's no sense watching him languish around like some blue haze fool! He deserves to know ~ just tell him but give him the exacting sources of your information!

Unfortunately, what he chooses to do with it is his own business!*


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Before I posted to this forum some people told me to stay out of it because it could blow up in my face and hell problably just ***** at me about how relationships work since im so young.
> 
> 
> Does this even sound right ???


You can inform your brother in writing (email or letter); no need to have a verbal conversation with him. Some members have provided you pointers in this regard. 

I strongly suggest that you do the right thing. But if you do not want to, then up to you.


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Thanks EVERYONE for the help.

I will be sending him a letter this morning and will leave it up to him to decide ehat to do. 

I used an example from Araucia


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## Doesthepainstop (Mar 7, 2019)

Araucaria said:


> Tell him, "Brother, your gf has admitted to cheating on you with 2 men. I'm telling you this because I love you and don't want you to be hurt worse, the longer it goes on. I have text evidence on my phone where she admits it to me straight out, when I asked her. I will save them so you can read them yourself if you decide to.
> 
> Sorry to be the bringer of bad news. I love you and will always have your back.
> 
> ...



Im going with this thanks.

Ive been hearing about it for months now.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Doesthepainstop said:


> Before I posted to this forum some people told me to stay out of it because it could blow up in my face and hell problably just ***** at me about how relationships work since im so young.
> 
> 
> Does this even sound right ???


It happens yes.

You have stress now, if that happens you will have stress then, but this will be over.

He can be as mad as he wants, you tried to do the right thing. If resents it, your relationship wasnt that great anyway, if he patronizes your youth tell him you are learning from his mistakes.

Let it roll off like water.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

We have been trolled.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> We have been trolled.


This happens occasionally, and we are informed. Just curious how mods find out?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

manwithnoname said:


> This happens occasionally, and we are informed. Just curious how mods find out?


Sorry, cannot tell you as we don't want the trolls to figure out. It has to do with tarot cards though. >


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> manwithnoname said:
> 
> 
> > This happens occasionally, and we are informed. Just curious how mods find out?
> ...


What, no chicken bomes???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

personofinterest said:


> What, no chicken bomes???


What's a "chicken bome"? You want chicken bomes? Check under the bridge. :grin2:


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> What's a "chicken bome"? You want chicken bomes? Check under the bridge. :grin2:


I could tell you....but then I'd have to make a voodoo doll of you and stick it lol


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