# love is forgiveness



## AaronDonald (Nov 9, 2015)

It's authentic. I found my gf cheated on me by her text message. At first, I found during that time she looked especially panicked when the phone message rings, and she set a complicated password for her iPhone which is a secret to me. Once she told me her password but when I read her message, I found the "important message" has gone! I cared her so much and I could't leave her. So I didn't ask her why the message box was so clean. I searched a software by google stealthily which named iMyfone Data Recovery for iPhone, it retrieved deleted message easily. :crying:Unfortunately, the result that I didn't want to see made me sad for a long time. But I forgave her later, because everyone will make mistake inevitably, the most important thing is that she loves me. This is enough. I know different people have different opinion about LOVE, but for me, love is forgiveness.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Love forgives but it's not required to be stupid. Wasting love on those who can't or won't return it is like throwing precious pearls to hogs.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I hope you really believe that, because in the future, when you finally decide to love your self enough to not accept being treated like this by others, you are going to have to forgive yourself.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
I believe that the word "forgiveness" is misused and misunderstood by most people. I believe that forgiveness is something that is extended to someone who DEMONSTRATES remorse, contrition and the like by altering their fundamental beliefs and consequently their behavior. To simply say "I'm sorry" without any fundamental change in behavior I feel to be disingenuous and self serving. 

Without this understanding and subsequent change in personality, this is going to be repeated. I suggest you consider this carefully when contemplating your future with this woman because it only becomes worse as life's complexities begin adding to it. Things such as marriage vows, intermingled finances and most importantly, children. Excersizing due caution is recommended.

It is true that love is forgiving but it is also thoughtful and mindful of the other party. How much thoughtfulness did she exhibit by cheating on you? Therefore, how much would you say she "loves" you? Consider this carefully. I wish you well.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

You can forgive somebody and learn that they are not just relationship material.

You are idealizing the notion of love. Our culture romanticizes love like it is a panacea.

She may just get more clever about her cheating or not.

I forgive people for my own sake and then cut them out of my life if they are cancerous to my well-being. What makes my relationship work with my mother, two thousand miles apart.

Or my abusive, cheating ex-fiance, quit her cold turkey. She is damage from her own abuse as a child and she is what her circumstance made of her.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Apparently love is also blind, stupid, and fond of (or at least indifferent to) tasting the "remnants" of other men.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Interesting 

I would more argue that love wouldn't make you cheat in the first place......

But if this is what you believe good luck you're going to need it,

And please don't make kids with this woman


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
its is very good to be able to forgive. Many people make themselves miserable holding onto anger.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> * Wasting love on those who can't or won't return it is like throwing precious pearls to hogs.*


Quote of the day.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> its is very good to be able to forgive. Many people make themselves miserable holding onto anger.


Yesssss, forgive them for your own sake..... not as much for their's. Then save your love for someone who deserves/is worthy of it.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Shoto1984 said:


> Yesssss, forgive them for your own sake..... not as much for their's. Then save your love for someone who deserves/is worthy of it.


Yep. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them.


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## AaronDonald (Nov 9, 2015)

Thanks.You are right. But I still want to give her a chance.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

i am all for giving someone another chance, but here is the question you should pose to her, what is she going to do to ensure that it will not happen again? what kind of effort is she going to demonstrate to you, that she is worthy of your love for her, your forgiveness if you will ? I am all for forgiving someone, but on the flip side the forgivee needs to reciprocate with an explanation of why it will never happen again, and to ensure that it won't.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

All good that you forgive, but what changes will she make to make the risk worth it. You can forgive and end up with the same result if nothing changes. Granted, there is no guarantee that she will not cheat in the future. 

To simplify. You blame the programming for bad results, but there is no change in how the program behaves and again you get the same results.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Forgiveness I agree is a wonderful gift for yourself but when she does it again will you use the 
iMyfone Data Recovery for iPhone!!!!

I suspect this is a marketing ploy in here somewhere, you are far too casual about your so called cheating girl friend.

hope I am wrong?


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## AaronDonald (Nov 9, 2015)

I just want to say, No one is willing to expose their scar in plublic. Thanks for these people who give me advice.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

AaronDonald said:


> Thanks.You are right. But *I still want to give her a chance.*


You did. She blew it.

Pun intended.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

AaronDonald said:


> I know different people have different opinion about LOVE, but for me, love is forgiveness.


I've said a few times, "Jesus forgives, The Middleman doesn't", so I can't agree with you. You didn't go into the extent of the cheating, so I'm going to assume it was physical, and to me, that is the ultimate betrayal, that does not deserve forgiveness ... but that's just me. I know many others will disagree. I couldn't continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me and still maintain my sense of self respect.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

AaronDonald said:


> Thanks.You are right. But I still want to give her a chance.


Has she forgiven you yet?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Cheating is not a mistake. It is done knowingly with intent to deceive, hide. 

A mistake is doing some thing you didn't mean to do or was an accident.

Forgiving is great but don't make excuses to try and justify actions that you can't or don't want to deal with.

You have much to learn


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

AaronDonald said:


> I just want to say, No one is willing to expose their scar in plublic. Thanks for these people who give me advice.


It is pretty obvious you are willing to be a cuckold...good luck with that...


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

forgiveness is primarily directed towards oneself to purge your own soul of darkness first.
which then invites the offender to TRULY repent and complete the cycle of love.
it is common to say that Jesus for example forgives all, which is true, but on only his terms.
in other words true repentance and nothing else.

so to forgive is to love, but in the absence of true repentance, you must walk away and love from afar.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Is she remorseful? Is she willing to do what needs to be done to rebuild trust? Or are you so in "nub" that you are getting ready to get your teeth kicked in again? It makes a difference. The latter is not love at all. It is codependency.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Codependency? Plain old dependency? In any event, not healthy.


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Aaron, do you not have a father or older brother you could talk about this? What advice would they give you? If you were my son I would simply tell you that you are very fortunate indeed to have had her reveal her true character now rather than after you were married. That you were raised to be an honorable man and are entitled to expect no less in return from a woman you love. 
A lesson you need to learn now is that people will treat us the way we let them. If we act like adults we are entitled to be treated in return as an adult. But if we act like a doormat, don't be angry at those people who wipe their feet on us. The blame lies not with them, but with ourselves.


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## jack_1970 (Jan 22, 2014)

aine said:


> Forgiveness I agree is a wonderful gift for yourself but when she does it again will you use the
> iMyfone Data Recovery for iPhone!!!!
> 
> I suspect this is a marketing ploy in here somewhere, you are far too casual about your so called cheating girl friend.
> ...


wow , that is a great idea for publicty, take advantage of people on here too now you got me thinking about this , good heads up , cause of this I have a head ach so I will take an ADVIL maybe after il have a bite to eat at MC DONALDS then come home go on my DELL laptop and give some advise wile im in my comfy TOMMY HILFIGUER pij . LOL


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

AaronDonald said:


> Thanks.You are right. But I still want to give her a chance.


Just a word to the wise. If she lays any type of blame or guilt at you, she's a liar.
If she says she needed attention, or liked the compliments, she's selfish.
And utmost, if the term "my needs" comes around, it means that is all she is/or ever will be interested in.


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## NoIinThreesome (Nov 6, 2007)

Fozzy said:


> Yep. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them.


A thousand times, this. 

Learn how to say, "I forgive you and I wish you a good life without me."


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No it isn't. If kid broke the law I don't forgive him. Still love him though.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

jorgegene said:


> it is common to say that Jesus for example forgives all, which is true, but on only his terms.
> in other words *true repentance* and nothing else.


Hell even God only forgives when there's TRUE repentance...

So what the hell are humans doing forgiving unrepentant spouses? :scratchhead:

IMO this type of "forgiveness" is out of fear, fear of losing their spouses, fear of change, not the type of forgiveness people regardless of religion should aspire to.


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