# really....just leave me alone



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

The stbxw texted me an hour ago, "Mike I am so sorry we are going through this."
Really, I don't need your sympathy, just leave me alone. I thought your life was perfect with your new man, new found sense of independence. Just stop bothering me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

proudwidaddy said:


> The stbxw texted me an hour ago, "Mike I am so sorry we are going through this."
> Really, I don't need your sympathy, just leave me alone. I thought your life was perfect with your new man, new found sense of independence. Just stop bothering me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nothing sends that message more effectively than silence.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I didn't respond, nor do I intend to


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Oh. My. Goodness. She needs to get a life.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

My husband did something similar in text. Although tempting, I haven't responded to it since last Tuesday. I keep echoing the words that would come from some of the stronger folks on here....uhmmm...bandit.....and its enough to keep me from responding. 

I really don't understand their rational....they causes it so why do they feel the need to say anything. 

I'd be interested to know if she textes you again if you don't respond. I've heard nothing from mine for over a week now. Its killing me but I need to focus on letting it go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Man, that sucks .. 

My ex doesn't even bother contacting me.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My ex rarely contacts me or his kids...there's something to be said for that. It's not fair to them but it makes life moving on w/o him easier. For little kids to want to re-place their dad it sure says something about him.


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> The stbxw texted me an hour ago, "Mike I am so sorry we are going through this."
> Really, I don't need your sympathy, just leave me alone. I thought your life was perfect with your new man, new found sense of independence. Just stop bothering me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What a selfish, inconsiderate woman. You are well rid Proud x Someone who is so focused on themselves can never ever be good for you in a relationship. We need someone who puts our needs on a par with theirs. You deserve and will find someone who returns your love with equal passion & commitment xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I would be tempted to text back, "I am so sorry that you think I am your b!tch," but I agree with the others, best thing is to ignore her completely. She has no power here!


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## AloneInMontana (Mar 11, 2012)

My stbxh waits until I send an email to ask a question about what I am packing..then he unloads 50 other things on me in his reply.


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

i think as much as it sucks, it's a great sign that your reaction is ... just leave me alone. you're healing imo!


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I get the same garbage from my STBXH:

I'm so sorry we're going through this
I never thought I'd end up divorced
I never meant to hurt you
Can I do anything for you... yada, yada, yada. 

And.. I want a divorce

the only thing he can do for me is to move out ASAP and leave me alone!


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

"WE are not going through this; you are... I am over it." feels appropriate if you choose to send anyting back....


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

That, to me, falls under the To Little Too Late header!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Did you just ride it out, Proud?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Delete!!!!!!

My ex sent me an email to say happy anniversary a couple days after I told him to take his things and get out of my apartment and go back to his house after he said he wanted a divorce, I accepted, and he told me to 'go back to my brother then (brother who raped me when I was 12 and I never talk to...) and also that I was a b*tch because I used 'his money' (out of a joint account, $145.00) to consult an attorney way back a year ago in May. (Finally filed for divorce beginning of January.) The attorney told me I was walking on eggshells, how much I could expect in a divorce and then told me since husband was deployed I'd have to wait anyway. I did end up moving out but then husband came home and sweet talked me and asked for another chance making all kinds of promises, then went back to his old ways once he thought we were reconciled and I had told the kids we'd move back. (My kids are flexible, they were happy to stay put, actually very happy.) 

But Happy Anniversary? After that kind of behavior, also the suicide threats and swerving the car with me in it, intentionally...and accusing me of not wanting to trust him (after letting him stay in my apartment and letting him 'work' on our marriage...) 

I'm not sure why he thought there could be any kind of reconciliation after that, considering that the first time I ended it and was going to file for divorce was because of spousal rape, that came after all the lies about his former girlfriends. 

What a loser.

Yes, delete!!!!!!

He probably thinks I'm afraid that he'll rescind the post-9/11 GI benefits he gave to me. I have an answer for that, it's called upping my employment and using my own scholarship to continue my studies, just dragging them out a bit longer...and I'm not in any particular hurry, really. My work is fun enough. And I can get more of it if I need to. And if not, there's welfare just like everyone else around here who can't find any jobs. 

People do or say all kinds of crazy stuff when they are panicking. I think he realized it was going to be tight for him without me around to pay his real estate taxes and utilities and to buy groceries, also paying for my own car and insurances and all of my kids' stuff. The place he worked at shut down. Not sure if he still has a local job or not!


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Can yeah I just rode it out, didn't respond back, deleted it right away
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Mine just sent me a text asking me what time on Sunday she is dropping off the kids.. we've been doing this for a month and she still has to ask? Really? She will see me in the morning.. why bother. Not responding.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jtut21 (Mar 21, 2012)

I agree that silence will certainly send a message. The text was sent to get a reaction or perhaps to see if you still care so by not responding you are not satisfying the potential conflict. 

All the best,

Josh


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

UpnDown said:


> Mine just sent me a text asking me what time on Sunday she is dropping off the kids.. we've been doing this for a month and she still has to ask? Really? She will see me in the morning.. why bother. Not responding.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I just found out mine wont be seeing them for the 3rd wkd in a row. This isn't anything new but yet he wants joint custody!! Oi!


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## PartlyCloudy (Jun 6, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> @Can yeah I just rode it out, didn't respond back, deleted it right away
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good for you.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> @Can yeah I just rode it out, didn't respond back, deleted it right away
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Glad you did. There was nothing to gain by replying.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Good for you proud. Like everyone else has said, replying will do nothing good.

Stbxw dropped the children off this morning, mentioned to her that I got her text last night but didn't get it until late. Was no point in responding at that time (don't know if that was the right thing to say).

Told her the drop off time was the same for the last month .. she told me that her parents are planning on taking the kids to the amusement park but it is probably going to rain Saturday so they want to take them Sunday.

Apparently her mother asked her what time they needed to be back with me, stbxw told her and then her mother said she might try and call me to see if they can have more time just because it's the amusement park (and it's a holiday long weekend up here).

So the stbxw "warned" me about her mother possibly calling and asking for extended time.

But this is the kicker right here .. the first glimps into her emotions, something I haven't seen in a long time. It was faint .. but it was something ..

She said something like, "It doesn't matter what I say anyways, because everyone just keeps talking behind my back about everything."

After almost 2 months of separation that's how she feels huh? Some sort of victim feeling .. which is typical of her mentality, so I don't know why I feel so surprised.

Also told me she wanted to drop them off at our normal time because her girlfriend wanted her to come up to the cabin for the night. Another odd thing, her telling me what she is doing. It's been all secrets until now .. could simply be her getting more comfortable with the situation??

I asked her why Sunday night, didn't she have to work Monday and she reminded me Monday was the holiday.

.. then about 5 minutes later she texts me to ask me to remind her when she picks the kids up to give me the money she owes for her half of our loan for the month.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My wife has been texting me daily for the last week about things related to the divorce and our agreed upon division of assets.

Of course, she is accusing me if tricking her and taking more than my share, blah, blah, blah...

All in an effort to get me to re-engage with her. I think since I delivered her RV to her cousins without letting her know first, she has gotten the message that I want her out of my life and that I am moving on. I think she's getting nervous. 

Anyway, I dumped the texts and ignored her. She can have her lawyer call mine if she has a complaint.


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