# Hiding watching porn



## bamagirl87

So first I want to say that I get the fact men watch porn. I'm more concerned about the fact that my husband "try's" to hide it. I have used his tablet before and have seen the app's and such, not snooping or anything, he willing turned it over and told me the code once before the app and I had to use it one day when he want home and saw it. What has brought me to be concerned is that he is ordering movies thru our cable and watching it while I'm at work. I'm upset with it because he spends the money on it like I'm not going to see it on the bill and wonder why it's so much more than normal, yet when I need new clothes(losing weight) for work I need to find what I want and tell him how much it is and he'll let me know if that ok. Sorry getting off topic now, I did shoot him a text today when I paid the bill and saw it saying I wasn't mad or anything but just to keep that spending to a minimum. No response from him but he can't have his cell at work(military). I do feel insecure knowing he looks at it and that maybe our sex life isn't good. We both work crazy schedules and do have sex but like any couple we are to tried or it's that time so we skip. Am I just worried for nothing? Should I spice it up? I do have and use outfits and such in the bedroom. 

If your response is of a rude/smarta** nature please keep them to yourself.


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## PBear

Seriously? There's a metric sh*tload of porn for free on the internet. Why pay for it, especially if money is tight?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blackeugene

What does he buy that is not free on the web right now? Every couple needs to spice things up a bit and do things out of the ordinary from time to time, try using some sex toys, try new stuff and most important, talk with your man and explain that it's not necessary to pay for porn when you can get it for free, anytime.

I wish you well.


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## lfortender

This is bad. I sometimes watch porn and my wife doesnt know and i tell you that the fact that i watch it end up messing with our sex life. Sometimes i get myself frustated with her because i watch porn movies and i fantasize my wife acting like a pornstar, and this doesnt happen. So, what do i do? I keep watching, we have sex normally but for me, is not a good sex, is normal.


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## ScarletBegonias

He's keeping it a secret bc he feels it's something to be ashamed about for some reason. I've found there really isn't a whole lot of satisfactory reasons people can provide for why they watch porn or view porn but the reasons they hide it seem to be fairly universal.

If he's spending marital money on porn,it needs to stop unless you enjoy it too. If money is tight he's being incredibly irresponsible by paying for porn.

The best way to handle it is to approach it in a way that shows him he's not being judged and that you're simply curious,hoping for answers from him. He needs to know it makes you feel insecure. The porn talk can be a tricky discussion bc all it takes is one outburst from the wife (or husband) to make the porn user go underground further with usage.


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## Hope1964

I know it sounds like total overkill, but I am really starting to think that couples should seek the help of a professional when this problem crops up. Someone who knows about what porn can do to the brain, who knows about the insecurities it causes in women, and who knows how to counsel couples about it. Because to have this conversation on your own almost always leads to just more secrets and hiding and lying.

My husband of course has a much more sordid history with porn than yours, but if I found out he was watching it again right now, he would either seek out a CSAT (Certified sex addiction therapist) or we would divorce. My husband is a sex addict. I am NOT saying yours is, but you must be having thoughts along those lines, since you put this in the addictions forum. You may or may not be right - only a professional can make that determination.

For now, try not to be judgmental. He hides it because that's what boys are taught to do with it and he knows you don't approve. Talk to him about the cost aspect, and about whether it's affecting his desire toward you or not and go from there.


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## over20

lfortender said:


> This is bad. I sometimes watch porn and my wife doesnt know and i tell you that the fact that i watch it end up messing with our sex life. Sometimes i get myself frustated with her because i watch porn movies and i fantasize my wife acting like a pornstar, and this doesnt happen. So, what do i do? I keep watching, we have sex normally but for me, is not a good sex, is normal.



This is exactly why wives get upset by their DH porn use. The comparison issue.


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## staarz21

over20 said:


> This is exactly why wives get upset by their DH porn use. The comparison issue.


Men say they don't compare hmmm. My H did compare me to them. He told me. Buuuutttt, I have to say that maybe it's only a select few who do that? I don't know.


OP, Porn isn't bad unless your H has a problem. What I see as a problem (given what you've written) is that he is spending money on it. Why why why why....is he RENTING porn?! It's like 20+ bucks to rent on cable. What is he thinking? Do you have Internet? Show him the wonders of free internet porn. Spending money when you don't have it is absolutely reason for arguments to happen. That mess needs to stop ASAP.


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## Shazz1991

Firstly agree that its crazy paying for porn - there's plenty available for free on the internet.

Hubby and I work different shifts and both of us watch porn (although I tend to spend more time chatting on line). We also watch it together as a lead up to sex.

Why not suggest that you find some free stuff and try watching it together. You'll probably find that your tastes in porn differ - mine and hubby's do but we both enjoy the fact that it is making one or both of us hot for steamy sex.


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## Shoto1984

Shazz1991 said:


> Firstly agree that its crazy paying for porn - there's plenty available for free on the internet.
> 
> Hubby and I work different shifts and both of us watch porn (although I tend to spend more time chatting on line). We also watch it together as a lead up to sex.
> 
> Why not suggest that you find some free stuff and try watching it together. You'll probably find that your tastes in porn differ - mine and hubby's do but we both enjoy the fact that it is making one or both of us hot for steamy sex.


:iagree:

He needs to:
Stop paying for porn. 
Stop hiding anything other then what he got you for Valentine's Day etc.
And stop not inviting you to the party


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## lisad45

It seems like this situation is different for everybody. Porn can definitely be an addiction, and ruin a marriage as pointed out, but on the flip side, sometimes it's really nothing to worry about. My husband watches porn, and even though he tries to hide it, and keep it discreet, he's sloppy. lol Our sex life hasn't suffered at all, and I sometimes watch porn as well, and keep it to myself, so for me it's a non issue.

As for paying for porn? That's kinda taking it to another level.


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