# Wife of 6 years, love of my life had an affair with a woman coworker.



## Fatty123 (May 6, 2015)

Hey everyone, I am new here, so be easy. My wife gave my daughter an old phone to play with, so trying to be a good dad I wanted to make sure mommy erased everything, well, she didn't. She is tech. inept and was taking screenshots of the text they exchanged, that she though she had erased. The long and short of it is that she had an affair for about 2 months( I guess). Started as a co worker friendship, she made a move and my wife dove right in. Like into a relationship, making dinner, getting flowers graphic sexting etc. How easy she led a double life. Can I ever trust her or anyone again? When I confronted her she obviously was remorseful and has even contacted a therapist. Am I sucker if I stay? I belive she loves me, and I still love her. Uggggg. Thanks for reading, any feedback is appreciated


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

have you confirmed it's really over? does she still work or communicate in any way with the other woman?


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## Fatty123 (May 6, 2015)

I have confirmed, she literally has no contact with her anymore. In fact, that was an issue, her scorn lover was acting soo crazy. She is an ex-coworker so she is not there now. My sister happens to work there as well and she told my sister so I had that talk with her last night. wow.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Please tell me your sister did not know of the affair and withheld that from? If your sister did withhold the information, then trust is gone forever as your wife must be one hell of a manipulator to keep your own sister quiet. Was your wife going to tell you? How long ago was the affair? These answers will let you know if you can trust her again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fatty123 (May 6, 2015)

No, my sister did not know or with hold. She has been a great person to lean on for me. She says she would have told me some day, but I doubt that very much. The affair was just over this past winter. Maybe lasted 2 months, called off a month or two ago. Sorry I am all over the place, I am kind of a mess.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Fatty123 said:


> No, my sister did not know or with hold. She has been a great person to lean on for me. She says she would have told me some day, but I doubt that very much. The affair was just over this past winter. Maybe lasted 2 months, called off a month or two ago. Sorry I am all over the place, I am kind of a mess.



Well that is a sigh of relief that your sister didn't know. Are you a sucker for staying? Honestly, only you can answer that question. You have all the information to make that decision. Is this something you can get past? Do you want your marriage to continue? Is your wife remorseful, truly remorseful? Why did she have the affair? Is the only reason it ended is because the AP became crazy? Why does she not respect or protect her marriage? Why does she not respect you? Why did she not tell you? Is she in love with you? Does she love you?

As I said only you have the answers, only you have the information we need to better give you opinions or advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cgiles (Dec 10, 2014)

Did you read this : http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html

there is a list of remorseful behavior, so you will be able to answer drifting_on questions about how much she is remorseful.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Your emotions are going to run rampant. Your mind will have racing thoughts and it will be difficult to think clearly. Take time to digest what you know at the moment, you don't have to decide right now. Take a deep breath and relax for a few minutes. Your world exploded and you haven't had much time to process all that has happened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Counselling and she needs to tell you what you need to know.

Any other affairs? You need to find out.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

drifting on said:


> Your emotions are going to run rampant. Your mind will have racing thoughts and it will be difficult to think clearly. Take time to digest what you know at the moment, you don't have to decide right now. Take a deep breath and relax for a few minutes. Your world exploded and you haven't had much time to process all that has happened.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

Don't put any pressure on yourself to either stay or leave for a few months until you adjust better to the dreaded emotional roller coaster you have been placed in. Better yet, be honest with your wife that you truly don't know if you will eventually stay or leave the marriage. It's only more than fair that she share in the uncertainty.


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## Fatty123 (May 6, 2015)

Thank you internet strangers! These have helped.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Don't let your old lady see how weak you really are. She needs to see how bad this really is when she sees a confident guy who can let her go.

You don't ever want this to happen again. Your old lady has to really think about what she is about to lose.

What are some of the consequences your old lady has to deal with right now? Things like being accountable for her time and the exceptence of losing all trust and being transparent with her cell.

Is she willing to go to cheater prison and having you as the warden?

I'm not saying be a complete @ss but she has to see that there are actions she needs to take to earn back your trust and for that matter stick around.

With out consequences bad behavior continues. Can she do the heavy lifting? Is she willing to make all these scrafices and have such a huge degree of submission that you deside to keep her.



Or did you tell her that both of you will work through it?

Which really means to her.." it's ok Fatty123 isn't going anywere"


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You know what really brings it home....tell your wayward wife that you can't believe her and wonder if the whole marriage was a lie...inform her you will be DNA test the kid......questioning the father of her children really make a point in how this has greatly effected you.

Granted the kid is your kid....the point is her betrayal changes *everything* you ever though about her. This has nothing to do about who the bio dad is, it's mostly likely you...the point is through her bad *choices* there is a price to pay.

Again another consequences!

In my case even though my old lady was and still does all the heavy lifting to rebuild trust ...her phucking around gave me a good reason to give her hard spanking....but thats just me.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

And one more thing ...I get it ...it was with a chick...my point is she betrayed you and this may have or may not be the 1st time.

It's all about the betrayal not the gender...it's all bout who she really is and what you thought she was.

In short she changed everything with her unhealthy choices. So will she do it again? Will she tell you to phuck off when you want to look at her phone or ask her to stay home for the night?


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