# how do i tell him....



## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

ok i am new i spent a few days reading and listing to post and got so much out of lots of them... quick back round... i married a man 5 years older than me he a bad boy me a book girl and we had our ups and downs and 20 plus years later we have 6 great teen daughters we still have our ups and downs... but now my question...

thru it all sex was never an issue before during and after the children thru working many hrs on his part to me going back to work and even thru my not doing mornings and his not doing nights... but it was always pretty basic and bj for him and finishing the old fashion way....

but the last 2 years have started to break down and i know why just not sure how to say anything... he has high blood pressure and taking pills... between not fully getting hard to cuming soft i am his wife and this i can work with (very hard) and the 3 pump sex is a bit hard to take but the hardest is the feel and taste of him is sooooo different i chew gum before and drink water after but have been taking it like a wife.... but getting harder and i know where before i enjoyed starting that way i avoid it when ever i can at any cost some times maybe starting a fight or just saying tired... he has commented he thinks i am cheating or getting some where else...and he also knows with his meds and health it is not what it was... but i have not told him the top of the head is sooooo dry and the taste well soooo different....

any advise would be great.... i am 40 and afraid that we are so different we always stayed connected at times with this one thread (we both liked sex) now that is breaking down... i am just worried...


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## Just_Venting (Jan 12, 2010)

If you are only 40 and have been married for 20 years with 6 children then i can see you delima.

Other than this how is the communication between you two?

If it is good then I would go see a doctor together? There may be something with his diet that could help...

Communication is the key to everything!!


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

SInce you want things to be good again and want to want to do those things... Yes, I agree. Talk to his doctor as soon as possible about the taste and dryness. Dr may be able to change the meds or diet as mentioned above. If you let this go on too long, other problems between you may seep in. when intimacy breaks down, problems have an open door.

Good luck! I think this should be fixable.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

great advice and i wish so simple... 2 things holding that back,,, he is not a talker never was not his way.. he tells me i have tried different subjects (mostly kid stuff) but he just says you do ok you take care of it... anyway as for the dr if i get him to go at all he does it on a whim when he has to, like his high blood pressure appointment is coming up so i say i can take off... i work farther away then he does... anyway he was like no just a nurse visit, then that night he says dr said blah blah... and i ??? he said he had it wrong day... 

and choose you are right other things have seeped in... and i blame myself for that... 

about two years ago sex reallyyyy took a nose dive the want was there on his part but nothing else... very bad... ok it was all my fault... yep.. i was streached because of kids i moved wrong i waited to late in the night we had a class of wine that i wanted and that mixed with his pills... and well you can see where this is going...

so i was at my ends... he was the only one i was every with... ever.. he had a few others before me and that was his past and ok with that... ok friends we had were doing the swinging thing (i know scream and run) but i was feeling like it was me i was doing something and that was not fair to him... so i said lets go and just see we don't have to do anything...

we went.... it was odd very odd... anyway nothing 1st night we talked we went back again... he went back with a lady... and lets say she was not going to baby him like i do and it did not go well... her fault and drinking.... he was now determined so went and got pills from dr (i had pushed for it before we went to the place and he would not even try it...ggrrrr) anyway he went back with another lady and again he came out really mad... we left (i never went back with anyone) on the way home he said i did i was cheating that is why i was ok with it... and all hell broke out 

anyway we agreed we would not do that again and we did go back to just us... he stopped taking the pills because gave him gas (they did help some with staying longer) he went on other pills and now the drying and taste...

kinda don't want to say anything... but i do


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

I think you misread my post, as I think you should call the dr and talk to the dr or nurse, not your husband. You call the dr's office and speak to the dr or the nurse and tell them about the taste and dryness and you want those to go away as they are affecting your sex life. Believe me, they have heard everything! 

Anyway, dont talk to your husband about it. You can go with him to see the nurse, but if you are having problems he may not want you there.

Sounds like there was much more going on to cause the issues than meds, but start with calling his dr's office yourself.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

o i did read wrong, thank you i was thinking they would not give me information on him and he don't want me there so no go... but your saying going at it from just a general here is the issue and is there any way of fixing or helping it...

i get it.... great idea thank you. we go to the same dr's office but different drs...


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## laredo (Jan 23, 2010)

If your husband wont or cant have sex with you, it is ok to find relief somewhere else, just be discrete. Married men are your best bet. Just have sex dont fall in love. You can tell these men exactly what you want and how.


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