# Was i right in doing so?



## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

Ok lot of you know my story.
Here's the thing now. Every attempt to talk to the wife,has been done by me first. So I talk to her about getting together next friday to spend quality time together. Said I would do whatever she wants to do. We agree on things. Kinda of as a date I suppose. Then saturday we would spend with kids. 

Well I left her a note asking her to call me. Never does. So I catch her online. She is talking to TOG. We talk a bit about next weekend so forth. In mean time I'm also writing her an e-mail, explaining somethings. I told her that I felt I was the one making more the effort to start conversations between us. It would mean a lot to me if she showed some initative.
Then I explained to her if that next friday is something that she really doesn't want to do just be honest and tell me and ill make other plans. Told her that's all I want was her to be HONEST with me as I have as always been honest with her.

Was I in the right to tell her how I felt? She has mentioned about getting back together a couple of times now. I just hope I wasn't wrong to write her that. Any help or thoughts would be appreciated.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

nah, dude. any conversation you have should be in honesty. that part's good. but you MUST NOT appear to be clingy or needy. you're bordering that with the conversation you explained. take charge of the moment. don't say "do you really wanna..." or stuff like that. she said yes she does first, now charge forward like a bull. she'll dig that or she won't. let her react to you actions rather than try to figure out what her words mean. "yes" means "yes".


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with voivo. It is a touch of the needy. 

I know it's hard but if she's going out with you and appears to be enjoying things then she wants to be with you. Take charge.


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## Lostman (May 23, 2009)

That's why I made the thread.
It right in side my head,but when I write it out it all comes out wrong I don't know why just seems that. I think my mind starts to injecting other words for what was actuallÝ there. I wrote her back and asked to disregard all part of the email. The rest was about the 5 love languages.


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## sinatra (Apr 6, 2009)

That still makes you seem like you are over analyzing things and little needy. Once something is said or written it's hard to come back and say disregard that part where I looked needy. Just doesn't work, stay strong and "Man Up". We all know you love her and she probably does too, so trying to convince her or manipulate her with emails or the 5 love languages won't work at this point if she's not 100% into reconciling. 

Really not trying to sound harsh and I haven't read your entire story, so forgive me if I sound off base. Just see a little of what I did in the beginning and don't want to see you go down that long and lonely road.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You can't manipulate feelings that the other person doesn't have. The more you try to be clear, or just make her see, or hope that she understands or relates to where _you_ are coming from - the greater the disservice you do yourself. 

It doesn't bring them closer. It pushes them away. In trying desperately to get it right, it can be difficult to see that it's entirely wrong.


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