# What good is posting a cheater on Cheaterville really?



## SF-FAN (Sep 24, 2013)

Just wondering because I've looked on the site but noticed that even though a cheater gets exposed, it's not really a website that's frequented by all and the cheater themselves can post "their side" of the story. 

Additionally, anyone can post so the credibility of the story can easily be disputed.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Lots say it is to stop the A and a tool, but it is really a way to get even and punish. Lots of employers are doing web searches for social media and other posting on the web before they even decide if they want to interview or extend an offer to a perspective employee. When the cheaterville post shows up (contested or not) it does show the mentality, morality, and character of the person and lots of companies don't want to open themselves up to such possibilities of issues in the workplace. In this case it can serve as a warning about the true character of the cheater.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

It's not much good, but that's mostly because the site creators have done a less-than-stellar job of their SEO. 

Ideally, you'd post someone there and the next time someone Googles their name the Cheaterville listing would appear as one of the results, warning potential future employers, partners, etc. of their wayward tendencies. 

In order to make this work better, a good knowledge of SEO tactics would help to bring their name higher up the list. Putting their name into the text, as well as their location and other stuff people might put into a search (in addition to where it is listed in the description) would help. But, as I said, the website itself is not set up very well for great SEO. 

There are other sites around that are dedicated to outing people for various things and one that actually does a very good job at putting people into Google's indexing is THIS ONE, which outs photographers who dishonestly use other photographer's photos in their portfolio. People listed on that site are basically embedded into Google forever as thieves. Ouch for them.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> Lots say it is to stop the A and a tool, but it is really a way to get even and punish. Lots of employers are doing web searches for social media and other posting on the web before they even decide if they want to interview or extend an offer to a perspective employee. When the cheaterville post shows up (contested or not) it does show the mentality, morality, and character of the person and lots of companies don't want to open themselves up to such possibilities of issues in the workplace. In this case it can serve as a warning about the true character of the cheater.


Squeaker is right. Good or bad, it shows up on internet searches. The OM in Dig's case lost his law firm partnership. pity. I posted my wife's AP in a moment of anger and a few months later he called whining about it pathetically. At first that pissed me off even more and delivered me to my finest most indignant outrage form on that call but after I felt sorry for the wretch and took it down.


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## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

It's the first thing that pops up when you Google my ex's OM's name.

2.6 million views and counting baby.

Man uses injury to lure housewife into affair - Robby Pratt


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Cheaterville is a scarlet letter. It subjects the affair partner to ridicule. It is very effective at damaging reputation.

Chris in the UK got over million views. The POSOM tried to pay money to remove it from the search engine spot light. He got his WW to come round. She wants to restore their relationship, but he has her as his SO on probation.

Disenchanted blew his neighbor out of the water. The guy was so tormented that he called and left an apology on the telephone answering machine. I think he put that up on YouTube to further humiliate him.

Betrayed and Blindsided finally got a terrific punch into the gut of the tennis pro who stole his wife.

There was Js (name?) who used CV to break up the affair of his wife with a Princeton University tax expert. He took it down and put it up. We don't know if his wife reconciled but at least CV took away the affairs endless high. Instead of orgasms the wife had a headache from all the begging of the POSOM for him to take it down.

CV is vulgar but powerful.

Harken did CV reduce the OM's mystique as far as your wife was concerned? I presume he begged her to beg you but it didn't work.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

The XOM comes up on Google either first second or third, so it is right there on page one with his picture.

I am almost at 5 million hits.

When I was doing hires years ago, I would Google the potential employee's name. If something untoward would have popped up I would really have to question it. Some folks look at FB as well when they are looking at potential employees. My SIL fired three nurses over FB as they took pictures and had patients in the background and posted these photos on their FB pages. All three stated that they did not mean to include the patients.

So anything today online can be detrimental


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Ask Jacque du Toit

55


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## hopeful101 (Nov 6, 2013)

can you list someone anonymously?


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

SF-FAN said:


> Just wondering because I've looked on the site but noticed that even though a cheater gets exposed, it's not really a website that's frequented by all and the cheater themselves can post "their side" of the story.
> 
> Additionally, anyone can post so the credibility of the story can easily be disputed.


Go there, pick a name. And google it.... Then you'll see. Usually shows up within the first three pages. So, anyone wanting to know who this person is, like a perspective client, employer or romantic interest, can judge for themselves the kind of character they are dealing with.


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

MSP said:


> It's not much good, but that's mostly because the site creators have done a less-than-stellar job of their SEO.
> 
> Ideally, you'd post someone there and the next time someone Googles their name the Cheaterville listing would appear as one of the results, warning potential future employers, partners, etc. of their wayward tendencies.
> 
> ...



I'm sorry but I disagree. The website has a decent SEO, considering its size and propose, and a posting of an average Jane or Joe on it will appear on Google within hours. Sure there're a few tricks that could be done but they aren't as significant as they used to be after Google's algorithms changes within the last few years. 

The bottom line.... it does what it's supposed to do.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Harken did CV reduce the OM's mystique as far as your wife was concerned? I presume he begged her to beg you but it didn't work.


I think that chapter had ended by then. I was just pissed off thinking about it one day. The damage to my children and marriage is not pretty. Not to mention the toll it has taken on me first trying to make sense of it and then living with it and trying to sort out what to do. He did not beg her to my knowledge. To my knowledge they have not been in contact but I really don't care. Not because I am blase about it. It was a friggin nightmare and devasting to my marriage and family. But because the guy is a hapless douche. And if I have learned anything here, it is that there is no percentage in competing for your wife's affection.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

People have really short memories. Waywards even shorter. CV is a memory aid for them, just to let them remember what lowlife they would be dealing with.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

I find the website visually tacky. I always thought it was more for college aged individuals, so when I read threads here that say "put them on Cheaterville" I'm always kind of baffled.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

Harken Banks said:


> Maybe. Did your spouse have an affair?


Still gathering evidence. Gut says yes, no proof as of yet.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

intuitionoramiwrong said:


> Still gathering evidence. Gut says yes, no proof as of yet.


Big exhale here. Sorry. Take your time and manage your emotions and reactions best you can.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

adriana said:


> I'm sorry but I disagree. The website has a decent SEO, considering its size and propose, and a posting of an average Jane or Joe on it will appear on Google within hours. Sure there're a few tricks that could be done but they aren't as significant as they used to be after Google's algorithms changes within the last few years.
> 
> The bottom line.... it does what it's supposed to do.


Yeah, it does the job. It could be better, though.


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## SF-FAN (Sep 24, 2013)

If I email a post on cheaterville, can it be traced back to me?

And can it be considered harassment by the police?


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

SF-FAN said:


> If I email a post on cheaterville, can it be traced back to me?
> 
> And can it be considered harassment by the police?



You can send emails anonymously from cheaterville.com. Technically they can be traced back to you but it wouldn't be worth the effort. You have nothing to worry about here. 

Police wouldn't investigate an email sent from cheaterville.com. Again.... nothing to worry about.


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## SF-FAN (Sep 24, 2013)

adriana said:


> You can send emails anonymously from cheaterville.com. Technically they can be traced back to you but it wouldn't be worth the effort. You have nothing to worry about here.
> 
> Police wouldn't investigate an email sent from cheaterville.com. Again.... nothing to worry about.


Thanks, what about posting someone on cheaterville. As long as you tell the truth and are not defaming a person or harassing the person can you get in trouble for it?


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Disenchanted said:


> It's the first thing that pops up when you Google my ex's OM's name.
> 
> 2.6 million views and counting baby.
> 
> Man uses injury to lure housewife into affair - Robby Pratt


How on earth could it get to 2.6 million hit? Anything special you've done? Maybe its the stupid pic of him in the hospital bed.

So, if you post something on there, do you worry the cheater might wrongfully go after you, or your wife out of spite. I mean, they are already cheaters, why play by the rules here? Has this guy mentioned to you if this is causing him grief?


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

I also questioned the worth of Cheaterville, but Chris989 corrected me with his posting and subsequent results.

Thing is with Cheaterville, there's no f*kcining about or half-hearted stuff...you have to _go big or go home_.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Another quirk about that site: It features a "cheater map" that doesn't really seem to work.

For instance, I put in Dallas, TX and only 1 name came up. Kansas City came up with 0 results. Seems like lots of people would like to be able to accurately search their towns.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

My ex would welcome the advertising she would get from Cheaterville.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

hookares said:


> My ex would welcome the advertising she would get from Cheaterville.


gross.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

SF - Here is what you do. 
1) Get a thumb drive
2) Write all your thoughts out on notepad and save it drive.
3) Get on facebook, get a list of all the people you want to see get cheaterville link
4) Go to library and get on computer
5) Anonymously put your post on cheaterville
6) Create a fake facebook account
7) look up all the people you want to send the link to 1 at a time. Hit the "message button" and past the link in. Make sure you put the persons name in the subject. a few of the people are bound to open the message and click the link. 

It only takes 1 link to 1 person that he/she knows to make that **** spread like wildfire in their personal circle.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

happi_g_more2 said:


> SF - Here is what you do.
> 1) Get a thumb drive
> 2) Write all your thoughts out on notepad and save it drive.
> 3) Get on facebook, get a list of all the people you want to see get cheaterville link
> ...


I think Cheaterville has an "email this link" facility.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

SF-FAN said:


> Thanks, what about posting someone on cheaterville. As long as you tell the truth and are not defaming a person or harassing the person can you get in trouble for it?


I've posted this before but it's worth repeating from 
http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/i-was-posted-on-cheaterville-with-claims-that-i-ga-568911.html

*cheaterville lawsuits: what 3 lawyers had to say re posting about someone else:*

_ "You might be sued, but whether or not the suit is Successful is another matter. Truth is a defense."
"You can always be sued, but the truth is a defense to either of these potential claims."

...and a response about someone wanting to sue for being placed on cheaterville and accused of passing STDs:

" The first thing you may want to consider is to ask the poster to take it down. If that doesn't work, you could file a claim for defamation and libel per se. However, with lawsuits like that, you open your entire personal life up for investigation, because the opposing side's defense is that the statement is either an opinion, or based in truth.
As such, depending on the circumstances, the opposing side may be able to dig into your past regarding any person with whom you had a sexual encounter, and then ask that person if they have or received an STD. Moreover, anything printed in a law suit is public record and there is an absolute privilege and a right to reproduce and distribute anything written in a law suit without repercussions - EVEN IF THEY DO IT WITH MALICE OR BAD INTENT.

So in the end, a lawsuit regarding defamation is risky because it could publicize the issue worse than it is now and it would cost quite a bit in legal fees. "_


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> I think Cheaterville has an "email this link" facility.


I dont know the ins and outs of facebook notifications, but I would think you would get lest resistance (filtering or ignoring) if you pretend to be a facebook user messaging someone as a potential friend


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

It really seems that this sort of thing is a slippery slope. What if Jones get a bad case of the azz at Smith for an unrelated matter and post Smith's wife on Cheaterville out of spite. Its my understanding that the folk at Cheaterville accepts it at face value. We already discussed the expense and difficulty of legal action. It appears it can be used as a tool to smear anybody whether they are cheating or not.
I'm surprised the BS's (who did the posting) wife or husband doesn't become a Cheaterville participate posted by the affair partner who got his/her azz slammed by the BS. How does to old saying go, "live by the sword, die by the sword.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

I don't find that site all that inviting to search anyways. Not very well designed at all.

If people can't use it easily, it's not going to be all that effective of a tool or a punishment.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Disenchanted said:


> It's the first thing that pops up when you Google my ex's OM's name.
> 
> 2.6 million views and counting baby.
> 
> Man uses injury to lure housewife into affair - Robby Pratt


Let me see if I got this straight. According to the posting on cheaterville, this guy is your neighbor, had an affair with your wife, and now you are trying to work things out with her. 

So you expose him with 2.6 million views. Got it.

BUT... did you realize that you are *also exposing your wife to 2.6 million views as well??* If people know this guy, then they can figure out who his neighbor is too. 

I don't think that will help the reconciliation process...


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Theseus said:


> Let me see if I got this straight. According to the posting on cheaterville, this guy is your neighbor, had an affair with your wife, and now you are trying to work things out with her.
> 
> So you expose him with 2.6 million views. Got it.
> 
> ...


The BS wound have not-so-fond memories of the A for a lifetime. Shouldn't the WS get a little taste of shame too? The WS should 'Just get over it.'


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

If you expose OM, you expose your wife as well, at least to those that know you.

But if OM pursues a relationship elsewhere, or applies for a job elsewhere, those people won't know your wife so in those cases it may have some merit.

The issue I have is that if you are in R, OM is just gonna post your wife on cheaterville himself.

What's stopping OM from posting your wife on cheaterville?

Nothing.

So, infidelity is domestic terrorism to begin with. You put OM on CV and you just invite that to continue throughout your R as well.

Pointless.

Unless your marriage is OVER and you have zero children, and are solid in your career that you can handle a public flame war, CV is pointless.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> The BS wound have not-so-fond memories of the A for a lifetime. Shouldn't the WS get a little taste of shame too? The WS should 'Just get over it.'


Shame does not help reconciliation no.


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

Allen_A said:


> I don't find that site all that inviting to search anyways. Not very well designed at all.
> 
> If people can't use it easily, it's not going to be all that effective of a tool or a punishment.



Allen, it's quite well designed and relatively easy to navigate.... you just don't know anything about internet marketing.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Allen_A said:


> Shame does not help reconciliation no.


For R, a WS should feel shame, guilt, remorse regardless of publicity. Shame stems from the fact that others' condemn the actions of a WS. It helps break down the wall of justification a WS puts up. Shame is essential for a non-repeat of history. 

Shame is essential in R.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Allen_A said:


> I don't find that site all that inviting to search anyways. Not very well designed at all.
> 
> If people can't use it easily, it's not going to be all that effective of a tool or a punishment.


The tool is google. When a person is googled, if they are on the site, it will stick out like a sore thumb. When friends of the cheater are given a heads up, it spreads like wild fire. If you want an employer to see it for example, there is an anonymous email feature you can use.

You can also post in the third person so it doesn't necessarily mean the spouse is doing the posting.

It is tawdry, that makes it better as a fitting place for the cheater to be. He/she has finally found their true place in society.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Theseus said:


> Let me see if I got this straight. According to the posting on cheaterville, this guy is your neighbor, had an affair with your wife, and now you are trying to work things out with her.
> 
> So you expose him with 2.6 million views. Got it.
> 
> ...


Ancient history, they divorced, OP is doing well, ex wife, not so great.

But neighbor boy goes on being outed for the scum he is.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> The tool is google. When a person is googled, if they are on the site, it will stick out like a sore thumb. When friends of the cheater are given a heads up, it spreads like wild fire. If you want an employer to see it for example, there is an anonymous email feature you can use.
> 
> You can also post in the third person so it doesn't necessarily mean the spouse is doing the posting.
> 
> It is tawdry, that makes it better as a fitting place for the cheater to be. He/she has finally found their true place in society.


So true.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> For R, a WS should feel shame, guilt, remorse regardless of publicity. Shame stems from the fact that others' condemn the actions of a WS. It helps break down the wall of justification a WS puts up. Shame is essential for a non-repeat of history.
> 
> Shame is essential in R.


LOL!! Then why not use a scarlet "A"? That would be a good thing, right?

You shouldn't go through the reconciliation process in the first place unless the WS *already* feels shame about his/her actions. Adding on public shame on top of that is just putting salt in the wounds. The purpose there is revenge, not reconciliation.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

JustPuzzled said:


> I do not think that they are reconciling, and nowhere is his WW exposed the CV posting.


I see the update here, but on the CV post it said they were reconciling, but the OM still kept calling the house.

And the WW is easily exposed to anyone who knows where the OM lives, because it probably wouldn't be very hard to figure out which neighbor he had an affair with.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

adriana said:


> Allen, it's quite well designed and relatively easy to navigate.... you just don't know anything about internet marketing.


Don't insult my intelligence please.

The site could use a complete overhaul. I have been there and there is a lot of room for improvement.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> For R, a WS should feel shame, guilt, remorse regardless of publicity. Shame stems from the fact that others' condemn the actions of a WS. It helps break down the wall of justification a WS puts up. Shame is essential for a non-repeat of history.
> 
> Shame is essential in R.


In private yes. Public humiliation does not bond a couple together. It breaks them apart.

It's ridiculous to suggest that publicly humiliating a wayward spouse trying to repair a marriage will help the situation.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Theseus said:


> LOL!! Then why not use a scarlet "A"?


That's a pretty good idea.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Made me feel a damn site better and cost the dumbass posom real ££ so it was the gift that kept on giving!


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## Desertsands101 (Apr 14, 2014)

Howdy. I was going to post an elaborate question on here, but reading the above posts made me want to ask a different one. I'm a guy married 20 years, and neither of us has gone out on the other in that time, though we've joked about it as our marriage didn't start on a footing of big romantic love, yet we've persisted. The thing I"m curious about is, for you guys that have had your wives step out on you (some brazenly), didn't you ever detect that she was inclined that way before it finally happened? Do you think that you and your partner talk enough or whatever, to expose the possible cracks and other-man desires building up? Unless I had a child to still raise, I'd be giving her notice to vacate pronto as soon as I knew. I have always just figured that if "my" gal behaved like that that she obviously wanted something else than me and so fine, let her go get it. I just read her wrong. Curious, thanks.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Desertsands101 said:


> Howdy. I was going to post an elaborate question on here, but reading the above posts made me want to ask a different one. I'm a guy married 20 years, and neither of us has gone out on the other in that time, though we've joked about it as our marriage didn't start on a footing of big romantic love, yet we've persisted. The thing I"m curious about is, for you guys that have had your wives step out on you (some brazenly), didn't you ever detect that she was inclined that way before it finally happened? Do you think that you and your partner talk enough or whatever, to expose the possible cracks and other-man desires building up? Unless I had a child to still raise, I'd be giving her notice to vacate pronto as soon as I knew. I have always just figured that if "my" gal behaved like that that she obviously wanted something else than me and so fine, let her go get it. I just read her wrong. Curious, thanks.


Cake-eating is practically an art. That's the problem. They don't exactly tattoo a scarlet A on their body.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Desertsands101 said:


> Howdy. I was going to post an elaborate question on here, but reading the above posts made me want to ask a different one. I'm a guy married 20 years, and neither of us has gone out on the other in that time, though we've joked about it as our marriage didn't start on a footing of big romantic love, yet we've persisted. The thing I"m curious about is, for you guys that have had your wives step out on you (some brazenly), didn't you ever detect that she was inclined that way before it finally happened? Do you think that you and your partner talk enough or whatever, to expose the possible cracks and other-man desires building up? Unless I had a child to still raise, I'd be giving her notice to vacate pronto as soon as I knew. I have always just figured that if "my" gal behaved like that that she obviously wanted something else than me and so fine, let her go get it. I just read her wrong. Curious, thanks.


Cheaters are liars by design. Lying is the most important part of cheating. With out being able to put up a good front to the BS, the affair would be found and either stopped, or they get served D papers.

Usually the cheaters that don't bother trying to hide the cheating that well are looking for an out from their marriage anyway. So if they get caught, they don't care that much.

When a spouse starts wondering if there partner is cheating, the first thing that they do is the worst thing that they can do, ask about it...

This usually gets the cheating spouse to do things like swear on their children's, or parents, lives that they would never cheat. They may also get angry, or indignant about such a preposterous accusation.

Either way, they become more careful and it may take weeks, months, or even years before the BS finds the next clue. Some of them should get "The Cheater's Academy Awards" trophy.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Desertsands101 said:


> Howdy. I was going to post an elaborate question on here, but reading the above posts made me want to ask a different one. I'm a guy married 20 years, and neither of us has gone out on the other in that time, though we've joked about it as our marriage didn't start on a footing of big romantic love, yet we've persisted. The thing I"m curious about is, for you guys that have had your wives step out on you (some brazenly), didn't you ever detect that she was inclined that way before it finally happened? Do you think that you and your partner talk enough or whatever, to expose the possible cracks and other-man desires building up? Unless I had a child to still raise, I'd be giving her notice to vacate pronto as soon as I knew. I have always just figured that if "my" gal behaved like that that she obviously wanted something else than me and so fine, let her go get it. I just read her wrong. Curious, thanks.



Most of those cheated on would say their spouse was the last person on Earth they thought would cheat.

Similarly, I am pretty sure that most of those cheated always said and thought that betrayal would be 100% a deal breaker for the marriage.

As with many things in life, however, you simply do not know how you will react until it happens to you.

One of the most tiresome aspects of dealing with 'advice' from others who aren't aware it has happened to them is the insistence on what they 'know' they would do in the same circumstances.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Chris989 said:


> Most of those cheated on would say their spouse was the last person on Earth they thought would cheat. *Guilty*
> 
> Similarly, I am pretty sure that most of those cheated always said and thought that betrayal would be 100% a deal breaker for the marriage. *Again, guilty*
> 
> ...


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

I'm not a believer in it at all. I don't go for revenge, as I believe it only drags me down into the gutter as well. If I'm that angry, I'll move on and find something better. 

The percentages of companies that would look at Cheaterville when doing a search is tiny, I would suspect. 

Are you posting your spouse on there?


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> I'm not a believer in it at all. I don't go for revenge, as I believe it only drags me down into the gutter as well. If I'm that angry, I'll move on and find something better.
> 
> The percentages of companies that would look at Cheaterville when doing a search is tiny, I would suspect.
> 
> Are you posting your spouse on there?


Cheaterville is not the point Google is.

Whether or not one posts their spouse on there is nothing to do with you, or the question asked.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> Cheaterville is not the point Google is.
> 
> Whether or not one posts their spouse on there is nothing to do with you, or the question asked.


Yeah, believe it or not, there are people out there besides yourself that understand how Google works. My point: very few companies will care if someone shows up on Cheaterville, especially if the person fits the needs of the company. Don't kid yourself that a company is going to sacrifice hiring someone they need because of this site. Maybe it happens .00000001% of the time, but it is ridiculous to think it carries significant weight.

My point about putting a spouse on there: people seem to want to get "revenge" on the affair partner, but not their spouse, which is ridiculous. The affair partner made no vow to you, they made no promise to you, they probably didn't lie to you, etc... If you want to "punish" someone (which I disagree with) the person you should post on Cheaterville is your spouse. Oh but wait, that might hurt you, so might as well extract your revenge on the other, less deserving person. 

Seriously, it makes ZERO sense. If you are THAT hurt, move on and find something better. 

Like I said before, trying to "extract" revenge just brings you down to their level. People really seem to like the gutter, I guess.

And yes, before all the BSs out there get themselves in a tizzy, I have been cheated on.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> Yeah, believe it or not, there are people out there besides yourself that understand how Google works. My point: very few companies will care if someone shows up on Cheaterville, especially if the person fits the needs of the company. Don't kid yourself that a company is going to sacrifice hiring someone they need because of this site. Maybe it happens .00000001% of the time, but it is ridiculous to think it carries significant weight.
> 
> My point about putting a spouse on there: people seem to want to get "revenge" on the affair partner, but not their spouse, which is ridiculous. The affair partner made no vow to you, they made no promise to you, they probably didn't lie to you, etc... If you want to "punish" someone (which I disagree with) the person you should post on Cheaterville is your spouse. Oh but wait, that might hurt you, so might as well extract your revenge on the other, less deserving person.
> 
> ...


Aren't we the clever one?

My particular way of using Cheaterville has been somewhat more subtle than just posting a story; it will affect the POSOM's chances of employment. It certainly affected his now ex relationship with his long term GF and it also means that maybe one person might be saved the pain I went through when they see what kind of "man" he is.

I am not interested in the rest of what you say but thanks for your input.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> Aren't we the clever one?
> 
> My particular way of using Cheaterville has been somewhat more subtle than just posting a story; it will affect the POSOM's chances of employment. It certainly affected his now ex relationship with his long term GF and it also means that maybe one person might be saved the pain I went through when they see what kind of "man" he is.
> 
> I am not interested in the rest of what you say but thanks for your input.


I'm tempted to point out the error in your judgment, but you are obviously in pain, and it isn't my job. I would not handle things the same way, and I don't understand your choices, but oh well.

I'll just say this, I hope you are able to move on and gain some closure.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> Aren't we the clever one?
> 
> My particular way of using Cheaterville has been somewhat more subtle than just posting a story; it will affect the POSOM's chances of employment. It certainly affected his now ex relationship with his long term GF and it also means that maybe one person might be saved the pain I went through when they see what kind of "man" he is.
> 
> I am not interested in the rest of what you say but thanks for your input.


And your partner? Did you post them on Cheaterville as well? Not piling on, just asking.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> I'm tempted to point out the error in your judgment, but you are obviously in pain, and it isn't my job. I would not handle things the same way, and I don't understand your choices, but oh well.
> 
> I'll just say this, I hope you are able to move on and gain some closure.


You are being patronising. I am not ignoring you; I am choosing not to engage with your points.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> You are being patronising. I am not ignoring you; I am choosing not to engage with your points.


If I am patronizing, then pot meet kettle. 

I disagreed with holding the OW or OM to a higher standard than the spouse. You said, it didn't have anything to do with the post. Who are you, the thread police? Talk about patronizing. Please let me know what is relevant and what topics are able to be discussed in each thread. 

In my opinion, people shouldn't post on Cheaterville. Period. However, if they do, they should damn well put their spouse on there before anyone else, since that would be more effective to stopping any more cheating by the spouse, at least to my way of thinking. That is a part of the discussion. If you don't understand, then ask, don't tell me what is relevant or not, as if you are all knowing. Like I sad, pot meet kettle. 

My other comment was meant to be respectful, because it was obvious to me you were missing my point. I believed that was because you are in pain. Perhaps I was wrong and you are trying to dictate what people can post on this topic.

I'll say t again, the spouse is MORE culpable and should be held to a higher standard, and therefore have to face a much stiffer "penalty" than the OM or OW. If people won't put their spouse on Cheaterville, then they shouldn't put the OM or OW on their either. In my opinion, this is relevant to the discussion because it points out what I believe to be the error in judgment people often demonstrate when posting on Cheaterville.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I can dictate what people post on here as much as I can dictate my (ex) spouse's behaviour. I am not doing either. Similarly, I have not told you what I think you should do, or believe.

My posts aren't about blame, culpability or, in fact, your *opinion* on the matter. It's about what I want to do, what makes me feel better and how my experience of posting on Cheaterville has worked out. I am neither seeking opinions nor approval.

I have made statements as to what I have done with no assertion as to the suitability for others or the morality of my actions. Readers can then make up their own minds as to what *they* should, or should not do.

If they wish to contextualise this, they can read my story from the beginning too and, over the last couple of years I have posted pretty much every significant event in my "story" with total candour; a "story" which, for me, has now ended as far as infidelity is concerned.

I am not seeking to fall out with you about this; I simply don't believe *opinions* can add to the discussion. I am a great believer in actions speaking louder than words. It is easy to tell people what *you* think *they* should do. Instead, I tell people what I have done and let them judge what is right for them.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Topsy,

The BS CV postings seldom if ever name the WS. All of the explicit focus is on the partner. While there is implicit exposure of the WS, the absence of their name separates them from the affair instead of cementing them into it. It drives a wedge between the affair partners.

Also, BS do not want to put their husband and wives up by name to protect their children.

Some BS have hesitated to post of CV for fear that the OM/W would put up the WS in response. Of course this would destroy the affair relationship, but leave the reconciling spouses with an ugly public reminder of the affair.

CV is incredibly effective. Chris, the poster above, made POSOM very uncomfortable. For every moment of sexual pleasure he had with Chris's wife, he had hours and days of obsessive anxiety as he tried to scrub off the digital barf off himself. He failed.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I will add, despite myself, that I did reactivate my then spouse's Facebook page, posted the story on there along with mugshots of both her and her AP, then invited every family member and friend (of hers, the OM's and the OM's then GF) I could think of to it, so if there was anyone whom didn't know what she had done then that was rectified. I deleted it after a few weeks but it served my purpose. 

This isn't about what's "right", it's about what works.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

And Chris is still in a relationship with his ex, but the terms and conditions are of his making. Correct me if I got this wrong, Chris.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Desertsands101 said:


> Howdy. I was going to post an elaborate question on here, but reading the above posts made me want to ask a different one. I'm a guy married 20 years, and neither of us has gone out on the other in that time, though we've joked about it as our marriage didn't start on a footing of big romantic love, yet we've persisted. The thing I"m curious about is, for you guys that have had your wives step out on you (some brazenly), didn't you ever detect that she was inclined that way before it finally happened? Do you think that you and your partner talk enough or whatever, to expose the possible cracks and other-man desires building up? Unless I had a child to still raise, I'd be giving her notice to vacate pronto as soon as I knew. I have always just figured that if "my" gal behaved like that that she obdviously wanted something else than me and so fine, let her go get it. I just read her wrong. Curious, thanks.



According to "experts", about one third of all married, husbands and wives, cheat at one time or another. Also, only twenty percent are supposedly caught.

You should google "infidelity statistics" for some light reading.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

In the words of another poster, "I'm trying to reconcile and that's why I didn't put my wife's name on the site. That's up to the xOM's wife to do."

That poster was Dig, my husband. If you don't think the site can have consequences, I'll tell you of a former lawyer who is now a salesman. In some professions your name IS your profession as well as your reputation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> Yeah, believe it or not, there are people out there besides yourself that understand how Google works. My point: very few companies will care if someone shows up on Cheaterville, especially if the person fits the needs of the company. Don't kid yourself that a company is going to sacrifice hiring someone they need because of this site. Maybe it happens .00000001% of the time, but it is ridiculous to think it carries significant weight.
> 
> My point about putting a spouse on there: people seem to want to get "revenge" on the affair partner, but not their spouse, which is ridiculous. The affair partner made no vow to you, they made no promise to you, they probably didn't lie to you, etc... If you want to "punish" someone (which I disagree with) the person you should post on Cheaterville is your spouse. Oh but wait, that might hurt you, so might as well extract your revenge on the other, less deserving person.
> 
> ...


A car thief makes no vow to not steal your car. Its just common sense and morality. If you play you should pay. 

The reason for not putting a spouse on cv is the possibility of reconcilliation, kids future, personal embarassment etc.


If a person wants to keep a good reputation, it would be wise to not tread on others.

Personnally,.I see nothing wrong with revenge at all.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> And Chris is still in a relationship with his ex, but the terms and conditions are of his making. Correct me if I got this wrong, Chris.


Correct-a-mundo!


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> My point about putting a spouse on there: people seem to want to get "revenge" on the affair partner, but not their spouse, which is ridiculous. The affair partner made no vow to you, they made no promise to you, they probably didn't lie to you, etc... If you want to "punish" someone (which I disagree with) the person you should post on Cheaterville is your spouse. Oh but wait, that might hurt you, so might as well extract your revenge on the other, less deserving person.


I could just as easily argue the converse.

The betrayed spouse did nothing to the affair partner

In most cases the betrayed spouse does not even KNOW the affair partner

The betrayed spouse is still entitled to a certain amount of respect, regardless of a vow being taken place. When my dog craps on my neighbors lawn I use a bag to clean up the business... I don't let me dog crap all over my neighborhood. And I certainly didn't make any "vow" to clean up my dog's business. It's just common decency. And I expect third parties to stick to that standard when interacting with my spouse.

The idea that because some "vow" hasn't taken place a person has the right to violate your marriage is ridiculous.

Everyone ought to have the right to have their home, their property, and their marriage LEFT ALONE. Vow or No vow.

And yes the third party intruder IS lying to you. It's a passive lie rather than an active one, but the third party is participating in a long-running deception with your spouse. Both people are cheating, both are lying, both are violating the home and family.

With your spouse, you have years of your own mistakes, neglect, and other various errors in judgement (none that legitimize an affair), but at least your wayward spouse may have some motive. You have done nothing to some dude and he shows up and decides to violate your home, your marriage, and your family?

Uh no. The absence of a vow to my mind is irrelevant. I hold a person accountable vow or not.

And what about couples living common law? No vow there either.

Sorry, but a vow made between couples is not the deciding factor here at all to my mind. It really isn't that important.

People violate your home, your marriage, and your family. These two people are co-conspirators.

...

To suggest revenge is mind reading. Some people just want to share a warning with others, so they don't have to undergo the same inconvenience. I have often suggested persons avoid shopping at one place or another where I may have had a bad experience. I am not out to get the business, I just warn friends who may go there, so they can make a more informed decision. Revenge assumes we can read someone's mind.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> My point about putting a spouse on there: people seem to want to get "revenge" on the affair partner, but not their spouse, which is ridiculous. The affair partner made no vow to you, they made no promise to you, they probably didn't lie to you, etc... If you want to "punish" someone (which I disagree with) the person you should post on Cheaterville is your spouse. Oh but wait, that might hurt you, so might as well extract your revenge on the other, less deserving person.
> 
> Seriously, it makes ZERO sense. If you are THAT hurt, move on and find something better.
> 
> Like I said before, trying to "extract" revenge just brings you down to their level. People really seem to like the gutter, I guess.


I agree with this. The affair partner could be anyone. They aren't the problem, they are just the symptom. They didn't promise the betrayed partner anything, and they could have been told anything by the cheating partner to lure them into the affair (such as how bad things are at home, what a loser the betrayed partner is, that sort of thing).

To go and do some sort of revenge thing such as cheaterille or posting a FB page with the two affair partners seems rather petty. It seems to shout out "I was cheated on and I'm hurt and I can't get over it!".


Just walk away and live your life.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> And Chris is still in a relationship with his ex, but the terms and conditions are of his making. Correct me if I got this wrong, Chris.


Wow. Now I've read everything. 

How does that make Chris look? After posting all those pictures of his partner and her lover on FB and inviting every one they know to view them, what are they thinking about his decision to stay with her?

I'm not one to give a rat's ass about what people think, but obviously Chris does since he's the one who posted all the pictures and invited everyone to view them. 

What are they thinking now..?



Allen_A said:


> To suggest revenge is mind reading. Some people just want to share a warning with others, so they don't have to undergo the same inconvenience.


Yeah right. People who have been cheated on have suddenly become altruists who are watching out for their fellow planetary inhabitants and have no dog in that fight whatsoever. 

Sure...

:lol:


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> Topsy,
> 
> The BS CV postings seldom if ever name the WS. All of the explicit focus is on the partner. While there is implicit exposure of the WS, the absence of their name separates them from the affair instead of cementing them into it. It drives a wedge between the affair partners.
> 
> ...


I understand what you (and Chris) are saying, I just completely disagree. To me it is a waste of time and sad to post someone else but not the cheating spouse. 

People can go ahead and pat themselves on the back for posting someone on Cheaterville, and they can even think it will hurt the other person, but in the end the hurt is still there. All they did was attempt to hurt someone else. 

Look at Chris's Facebook example, he was simply trying to hurt his spouse. He can try to justify it or rationalize it, but the facts don't change. So now everyone hurts. Makes a ton of sense. Sigh...

I see people wanting to punish the affair partners-car thief example. Here's how I would punish them, move on and find something better. Don't let the hurt they inflicted on you drag you down.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> I can dictate what people post on here as much as I can dictate my (ex) spouse's behaviour. I am not doing either. Similarly, I have not told you what I think you should do, or believe.
> 
> My posts aren't about blame, culpability or, in fact, your *opinion* on the matter. It's about what I want to do, what makes me feel better and how my experience of posting on Cheaterville has worked out. I am neither seeking opinions nor approval.
> 
> ...


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

LongWalk said:


> Topsy,
> 
> The BS CV postings seldom if ever name the WS. All of the explicit focus is on the partner. While there is implicit exposure of the WS, the absence of their name separates them from the affair instead of cementing them into it. It drives a wedge between the affair partners.
> 
> ...


So I just did four searches on Google for people listed on Cheaterville. Three of them didn't show up after SEVEN pages of searches. The last guy, who is currently featured on Cheaterville this minute, showed up on the fifth page. So people think that companies are going to scan through ten plus pages of Google searches looking for someone on Cheaterville? 

Maybe it happens, but it doesn't seem an effective model to me.

And what happens to the kids of the AP if it does impact this person's employment opportunities? Now children may have their entire lives impacted. "The AP should have thought about that before he/she f*cked with my family!" says the BS as they strut away. And then they realize the AP has put your spouse on Cheaterville as well. And then it negatively impacts your family, your kids, maybe even you. Not so cool anymore, eh?

I realize I'm not going to change the minds of people like Chris, and that is fine. I just want to provide a different, and in my opinion, healthier option.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

What I did was healthy for me. I would not be so outrageously patronising to presume to pronounce on whether your behaviour was healthy.


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## Regret214 (Apr 22, 2012)

Chris989 said:


> What I did was healthy for me. I would not be so outrageously patronising to presume to pronounce on whether your behaviour was healthy.


Exactly. The notion that only one way is healthy is utterly ridiculous and rather egotistical.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

People post on there to shame the cheater.

The problem is this: 



SF-FAN said:


> Additionally, anyone can post so the credibility of the story can easily be disputed.


And at the end of the day, it still doesn't change the fact that the cheater cheated.


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## TopsyTurvy5 (Nov 16, 2013)

Chris989 said:


> What I did was healthy for me. I would not be so outrageously patronising to presume to pronounce on whether your behaviour was healthy.


And yet you were patronizing to tell me what I could and could not post. My opinion is just as valid as yours. 

As far as the healthier comment I made, I have never heard nor read about a marriage counselor suggesting their clients doing what you did or something similar. If that was a healthy choice you would be hearing about counselors all over the world promoting blasting spouses on Facebook, posting on Cheaterville, etc... So, this isn't just my opinion, it seems to be supported, at least anecdotally, by the counseling community. Patronizing? I simply have never heard of *any *counselor proposing their clients do something like what you did. 


In your opinion, what you did worked for you. However, you seem to feel attacked if someone disagrees with you or offers another alternative. (Take a look at your response to my very first post.) We were asked to give our OPINION on this topic. You don't have to take it personally, remember that. It's your choice. 

I really don't know why I am still trying to clarify my points. I have explained why I think Cheaterville is a poor choice. I have demonstrated that it does not, typically, have the effect many people claim it has- in terms of employment opportunities. I also have seen no evidence that choosing the path of revenge is a healthy choice.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

By nature I'm not a cheater. If so inclined, I'd never cheat with a married woman, though. As a man, its instinct for me to stay away from married woman, as there could be dire consequences. If all men lived by a code such as this, our society, marriages, families, and psyche's would all be so much better. Is that too much to ask, a little honor?

Posting an OM on CV? Big F deal. If we can't make him roast in H, at least roast him on CV.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> As far as the healthier comment I made, I have never heard nor read about a marriage counselor suggesting their clients doing what you did or something similar. If that was a healthy choice you would be hearing about counselors all over the world promoting blasting spouses on Facebook, posting on Cheaterville, etc... So, this isn't just my opinion, it seems to be supported, at least anecdotally, by the counseling community. Patronizing? I simply have never heard of *any *counselor proposing their clients do something like what you did.


I have never heard of any counselor supporting full transparency either. They just have this ideal of we start fresh now and everything in the past is in the past and needs to stay there. I have never seen one that supports the BS knowing everything. Does this make it wrong for people to have a need to know everything about the affair? No it doesn't and some people are wired in such a way that they can't move on in a healthy manner if they do not have all the facts and information. Doesn't make them unhealthy or bad people. 

The fact is that the counseling community has no standards by which they are measured and need to perform. No marriage specific certifications really exists that would entail special study and tests. They essentially sit through their classes and when they meet the "standards" currently set up then they become a licensed counselor. This reason is why one counselor can suggest certain techniques and another goes down a different path. There are no standards, as it is mainly a philosophy and not a direct and hard science, that says do A and B will result. The fact is that the majority of marriages end in a D these days says a huge amount about counseling and the "better, healthier, touchier" society. 

Back in the day when a$$ whoppings were handed out for As and it was acceptable and the assailant not charged, D was a lot less and As were a lot less common, as there was a certain level and expectation of respect and fear towards the dissolution of marriages. When people did violently retaliate they weren't viewed as monsters either, just as someone protecting their marriage. Now we have taken that away and made As glamorous and mainstream (as most states don't have AA, Criminal Conversation, or charges anymore for infidelity) and you turn on the TV to be enveloped in the latest A dramas and how glamorous they are with their pretty smiling celebrities.

Just because it might not be as effective in many/ all instances, it only takes one instance to make it worth while. Do you discredit a medical procedure because you were the one that got worse from having it done? Generally yes you do and tell everyone about your negative experience. Why not just suck it up and move on as the other 10000 that had it done experienced no ill effects and your slandering the procedure really isn't healthy anyway, right?


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

We had experience of a highly trained counselor from an organisation that holds itself out to be "experts in the field".

We checked before we started the sessions. We both knew they could make the difference between our marriage surviving her betrayal and it ending. The counselor had received "special training" in infidelity issues.

The counselor knew nothing about the real world of infidelity. Whenever I asked questions about why my now ex wife had done more with her AP than with me the counselor would chip in "That's what happens in affairs Chris" and closed the subject down.

Every meeting I said we desperately needed to deal with the affair, but she ploughed on with her training and talked about our relationship instead. Sometimes she would say that we would "get around to finding out what in the relationship _caused _the affair."

The expertly trained counselor was a misandrist who supported the cheating spouse in any way possible. To be fair, even after just a few sessions both I and my ex thought that she had either cheated in the past, or was cheating herself.

She was, however, following the organisation's teaching on infidelity. I could go on about this, but suffice to say that I set far more store in the advice I received here. Some is not so good, some is great, but it tends to be honest and heartfelt and tried and tested - unlike that received from "professionals".

Counselors are a crap shoot. There is zero scientific evidence to back theories and methods they espouse. Indeed, from our experience they can often do more harm than good.

I am reasonably sure that, had my ex not been enabled by the poor counseling, we would still be married today.

So, TopsyTurvy5 - if that* is* your real name - , counseling theory (which one by the way?) is a load of bollocks generally made up by a certain demographic with a certain agenda. I have proof of that from real life; I see zero double blind tests to prove otherwise.

One last point, what is with the hyperbole about what I did on Facebook? I don't expose my spouse on Cheaterville and I'm a hypocrite, I do it on Facebook (blasts? WUT?) and I'm some kind of nutter. :scratchhead:

One final last point, finally and at the end; I haven't told you what to post. How could I?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

TopsyTurvy5 said:


> And yet you were patronizing to tell me what I could and could not post. My opinion is just as valid as yours.
> 
> As far as the healthier comment I made, I have never heard nor read about a marriage counselor suggesting their clients doing what you did or something similar. If that was a healthy choice you would be hearing about counselors all over the world promoting blasting spouses on Facebook, posting on Cheaterville, etc... So, this isn't just my opinion, it seems to be supported, at least anecdotally, by the counseling community. Patronizing? I simply have never heard of *any *counselor proposing their clients do something like what you did.
> 
> ...


Interestingly someone commented on the CV posting of the POSOM and pointed out it was not the first time he had cheated and broken up a marriage or wrecked a relationship of his own.

POSOM is in an influential position which means he can have access to impressionable and vulnerable women. A CV listing is the least he deserves in my opinion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

I posted my ex-wife and everyone I could prove she was cheating with on cheaterville. The stories I told varied from each person as I knew that some people knew she was married and other people said they didn't know. And some people refused to talk to me. Even after being _encouraged._

I don't get to hide huge swaths of my life. Why should they? If I wanted someone to be able to identify me then I would share the cheaterville link. People have asked me for the one I made of my ex-wife. Maybe one day after I've retired...

Or if you are lucky enough to meet her and think about searching her name in google. First link.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

lenzi said:


> Yeah right. People who have been cheated on have suddenly become altruists who are watching out for their fellow planetary inhabitants and have no dog in that fight whatsoever.


Sorry, but it's not ridiculous to suggest someone wants to take steps to ensure an offense does not get repeated.

You need to give people more credit than that.

There are many people on this forum who extend a great deal of time and energy to do just that for people they barely even know.

Hardly unlikely, you are surrounded by evidence of it.


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## NEVER HAPPEN 2 ME RIGHT? (Sep 28, 2012)

Hey all,

The fact is, the post on Cheaterville, when constructed properly, will almost certainly become a problem for the Cheater. It is becoming standard procedure to do a fairly extensive search whenever someone is interviewing for a job etc. I work at a smaller ad agency and even we do an extensive search through Facebook, twitter and other social network sites as well as an exhaustive search through multiple search engines like google etc.

I can assure you we have had two different candidates in the last year that would likely have gotten offers if it wasn't for a post on Cheaterville. Both times, I had to contain my smirk when our HR person informed us of the find. Both times our senior management team agreed to pass as a result. So yes, it does indeed work.

In my specific situation, the POSOM has over 1.6 million views on the site. When you search his name on google, it is the second link that comes up. On Yahoo, it's the 4th. 

I posted him in November of 2012. This past summer, someone that knew his wife came across the post and emailed the link anonymously to her. (I had already called her and told her about the affair on D-Day, she got angry at me and asked me to never contact them again). So she already knew, but this clued him into the post. He broke no contact and sent my wife an email demanding I take it down as it could pose a serious threat to his career (works for a large consulting firm).

I responded to him and said the following in an email:

_"First off, I will not be taking down the factual post of your behavior. It is the truth, and I have the proof to back it up. It stays. Secondly, I did not contact your wife. The purpose of that site is to allow interested parties to know the truth about who people are. It would appear someone who knows one or both of you, now knows you for what you truly are. This is not my problem, this is a consequence of the decisions you made. 

Finally, we agreed that you were never again to contact my wife, and yet you did. You mention you are worried about the damage this all may have on your career and livelihood, so let me be clear. You have a career because I choose to allow it. One email to your HR department and it would end. I am trying to be merciful, and move on with my life. I suggest you do the same. ANY future contact will result in that posting being pushed out to your social circles as well as your HR department.

In life, one must accept the consequences for one's actions. I suggest you suck it up."_

So I have seen Cheaterville work within my office as well as with the POSOM. I think it works well, but each person has to make the decision on their own.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Yep, It might not work 100% of the time or anywhere close (heck nothing ever does).

I see it like teaching. A teacher may in some way touch every child in their class yet not really have an influence, affect, or change in their future, but the one life that they really truly touch, affect and change makes it all worth the effort!! It is not done for the money, fame, or fortune, but for the satisfaction.


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## NEVER HAPPEN 2 ME RIGHT? (Sep 28, 2012)

He did not. Went dark, as intended. Haven't heard a peep since then (6 months ago or so). 

I suspect that will be the final interaction I ever have with him. As is the case with most POSOM, they tend to be cowards at the end of the day. I think this rat scurried back into his hole.


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## fishfast41 (Dec 12, 2010)

seeing this thread really caught my attention. I posted my wife's OM on there 2 days ago. I sent the post by email to a few people in his life iIthink would find it interesting. Good to know it my have an effect.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OM emailed me yesterday to complain that my post had come back up on Cheaterville. I looked and didn't find it. Then googled his name and found the post on BadBoyReport, which I had never heard of. Turns out BadBoyReport scraped the content of Cheaterville, posted it on their own site, and through a sister site demands a ransom of $500 for removal. Googling Cheaterville and BadBoyReport I found that Cheaterville is suing BadBoyReport for a bunch of money for copyright and other monetary claims. Oddly, not seeking an injunction. Weird. 

Anyway, BadBoyReport's site says there is a removal process available to the original poster. I submitted that I wrote the post on Cheaterville and took it down in the interest of closing a chapter and allowing some of the wounds to heal. That I never had been to BadBoy and certainly had not authorized the post. Take it down immediately and so on. Then seeing the litigation, I am sure nothing will come of it. Maybe OM will come back to ask me to help with the $500, which would be kind of funny. I would agree. I would pay the ransom in exchange for true and complete copies of every piece of correspondence between OM and my wife. Texts, pictures, IMs, email, everything. I doubt he has it, but you never know. 

As for those who question whether a post on CV is actionable, no it is not unless it is knowingly false and malicious. I suppose this might fall into the category of per se if you could establish the post was knowingly false and malicious, so showing damages might not be necessary to get an injunction or other relief. Burden is on the person who is upset about the post and truth is a complete defense.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I noticed the Badboyreport thing a while back - it's been going at least 12 months. Seems to be based in Sweden or something. 

All a bit odd, but helps with Google as the same story appears a couple of times.

As far as legal action goes, as you say truth is an ultimate and undeniable defence against any legal action, but Google cave to a cease and desist immediately. Frightening when you wonder what politicians etc. are able to do without Google so much as questioning the whys and wherefores of a notice.

Unlucky for my ex's OM it's easy to run rings around Google's attempts to censor the internet...


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I wonder if any folks in HR search cheaterville? " john smith cheaterville" to see if anything comes up. 

I've been involved in hirings and have google searched those I've interviewed and checked out their FB page, if available. Had never heard of cheaterville before the past few months.

If I found out someone I was interested in hiring had an extramarital affair with a coworker I would think twice before hiring that person, especially if it was a supervisory position.

I do think though that a majority of folks on cheaterville - especially the younger set - may even view the listing as a badge of honor., especially in the frat house amongst their peers.

There was a TAM poster recently that exposed the OM on CV and after some blackmailing, the OM managed to get the poster to take the CV post down. Was a sh!tty situation for him all around.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> I wonder if any folks in HR search cheaterville? " john smith cheaterville" to see if anything comes up.
> 
> I've been involved in hirings and have google searched those I've interviewed and checked out their FB page, if available. Had never heard of cheaterville before the past few months.
> 
> ...


I think one of the points being consistently made is that the CV posting is not that important, but in many cases this will appear on Google searches too.

It is possible to further expand on this by other means and this can be very, very effective.

I believe there are enough "success" stories on here to justify posting the truth about somebody - Cheaterville is just one avenue for this.

Like many things in connection with betrayal, every story is different so it might not suit all to take this route.


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## SomethingsUp (Sep 30, 2014)

How long does it take to publish, I just put up stbxh and OW. Felt good btw


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

SomethingsUp said:


> How long does it take to publish, I just put up stbxh and OW. Felt good btw


There should be a category here on TAM where people could post up links to the people they've placed on Cheaterville.


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## SomethingsUp (Sep 30, 2014)

Forest said:


> There should be a category here on TAM where people could post up links to the people they've placed on Cheaterville.


I agree, it's already out there, why not! Expose and Fight back!!! They aren't honorable people so why not? :smthumbup:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Forest said:


> There should be a category here on TAM where people could post up links to the people they've placed on Cheaterville.


That's an idea.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Forest said:


> There should be a category here on TAM where people could post up links to the people they've placed on Cheaterville.





MattMatt said:


> That's an idea.


It would be if people didn't remove those postings as fast or faster than it took them to post them.


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

would you want to be there?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Nothing gave me greater Joy than exposing the other man on his Business's Facebook Page by plastering the link his cheatersville page there.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

SomethingsUp,

Those close to your husband up North have known for some time what is going on. The Cheaterville is going to do two things:

1) Spread a negative reputation a bit further
2) Make those up North consider that he wasn't really single and this wasn't decent


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

If someone with evidence posts a OM /OW and the OM /OW takes legal action, eventually the OM /OW loses much more than the BS. Just thinking about how the evidence would be cross examined warms my heart.


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## kalimata (Jan 29, 2014)

Along the lines of what Harken posted....there are literally dozens of copycat sites that scrape content about cheaters and then later use it as extortion.

These sites are all very shady, and are registered in small countries where it is difficult to prosecute. They basically ignore all take-down requests until someone pays to get the content removed.

Here are the names of some of these 'shady' sites:
Reportyourex.com
Cheaterregistry
datingscams101
cheatersexpose.com
And the list goes on

Read this article on NBC5Chicago for more details:

Woman Says Cheater Site Wouldn't Remove Scathing Entry | NBC Chicago

Bottom line: Be careful when you post on sites other than Cheaterville. It is very difficult to get the content removed later, and can often cost thousands of dollars. Yet even afterwards, the content is scraped and posted on another copycat site.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

kalimata said:


> Along the lines of what Harken posted....there are literally dozens of copycat sites that scrape content about cheaters and then later use it as extortion.
> 
> These sites are all very shady, and are registered in small countries where it is difficult to prosecute. They basically ignore all take-down requests until someone pays to get the content removed.
> 
> ...


I posted only on cheaterville. The post was transplanted to another site. Without my permission and stayed up after I said hey I didn't put that on your site please take it down. Still, no skin off my nose.


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## stunned (May 6, 2013)

kalimata said:


> Along the lines of what Harken posted....there are literally dozens of copycat sites that scrape content about cheaters and then later use it as extortion.
> 
> These sites are all very shady, and are registered in small countries where it is difficult to prosecute. They basically ignore all take-down requests until someone pays to get the content removed.
> 
> ...


The fact that these posts still live in infamy even after I take the post down to be the "good guy", is exactly why I would want to post to cheaterville in the first place. To me, it's an extra perk.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

On a related note, some on here might remember that my wife's OM had his first Cheaterville listing removed from Google searches here in the UK.

It did more harm than good, however, as another appeared shortly after - along with a blog that talked about the censorship.

Notices that remove search results do eventually make their way onto chillingeffects.org and, sometime over the last couple of months, his cease and desist order has finally appeared.

It is chilling how easy it is to outright lie to Google (he is making a movie it would seem - I am guessing as it's a dropdown menu used for DMCA take downs) and have a search result removed, but comforting to know at the same time just how easy it is for the Streisand effect to further do the work for you...


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## kalimata (Jan 29, 2014)

Chris989:

I was surprised to see that Cheaterville is now being scraped by other low-life extortion websites.

I went on Cheaterville yesterday and noticed that they now prominently display ads at the bottom of the screen advertising companies that will "remove postings". Apparently all of these companies that do internet reputation/cleaning work have no relationship to Cheaterville or the source of the postings.

This is all very shady if you ask me. The internet reputation companies ask for a fee to get the name removed. Using the free method (ie DMCA takedown or original poster route) often gets ignored.

Word to all: just be careful when posting on Cheaterville or any other website. Whatever you post will be out on the internet FOREVER, and is extremely difficult to remove (in some cases this may be good, but if you are hoping for R, this might not).


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

You make a good point; in my case I am happy for this idiot's reputation to be out there - indeed, he was already known for this type of thing so really it's just "spreading the word". I can imagine this blowing up in someone's face if, for example, a "revenge" posting was made and I hope that doesn't happen to any one genuine who uses it.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Cheaterville does not allow mark and copy functions to prevent data mining.

The services sound like extortion or blackmail.


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