# Emotionally "attached" to another man.



## Untouchable (Sep 15, 2012)

Ok. So... I'm sure some of you have seen my other posts before. I disappeared for a while too. Lets to to the point... I am "attached" to another man. I have known this Guy for about. Year and a half now. He's bright, charming, cute, funny and just an all around amazing Guy. My problem is, its becoming more than just a friendship. We both are married with children. I have no idea what's going on but for some reason I "love" this man. I know its stupid, childish and what not but damn. I cannot seem to get him out of my head. All I can think about is him. He talks about us getting together and leaving our spouse. I'm just honestly not sure what to do. I know its wrong. Maybe its because I have a person who cares about my opinions, feelings and actually takes the time out ofbhis day for me. My husband does not. I will her a compliment maybe once every few weeks. I'm not a small girl by anymeans and I'm working on that for myself. Husband calls me fat, this man calls me beautiful. My husband has been too distant for too long. Sex is a rare occasion. So rare I'm beginning to not want it with my husband. This man listens to me when I need to talk to someone while my husband says hes too busy. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm sick of my husbands ****. We are growing distand and maybe this new man is just a temporary solution to feeling so alone? Ugh. Idk. I'm so into this Guy that I've actually become rude, and very angry towards my husband. Like he says something and I just snap. I have never been like this. Ahhh. I don't know. Please. Someone tell me I'm crazy and. And knock some sense into me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Stop it. You know it's wrong. End your marriage or end the affair.

Stop cake eating.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

If you truly feel that way then leave leave your marriage and honor. I can't tell you to try to make it work if you don't want it to. 

Divorce him, then do whatever you want.

Its either that or the affair ends and you have no further contact. 

Don't make your husband a plan B. If you truly want this guy then jump in after divorcing.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Listen to yourself.

"I know what I'm doing is wrong but I like doing the wrong thing. Help me." 

Willpower is all a matter of what the person wants to do. That's why it's called willpower. When people say they want to do the right thing but don't, they are liars. You have the God-given ability to do the right thing or the wrong thing. You made a promise to your husband and to God that you would do the right thing. 

You didn't say "I'll be faithful as long as I feel like it." 
You didn't say "I'll be faithful as long as you're being considerate."
You said "I'll be faithful." 

You made a promise. So keep it. End the affair, throw yourself at the feet of your husband and let him make the decision to either forgive or throw you out. 

*OR* come to terms with the fact that you are a wicked person. It's one or the other. Don't try to be a cheater and then validate what you've done. 

And remember this. People blame affairs on problems going on at home, but in truth it is really the reverse:

*Affairs, in all forms, cause problems at home because your infidelity sends off tells that he can perceive.* He doesn't know that you're cheating on him but he can feel the marriage itself crying in pain. 

That is your responsibility. 

Own what you did. Pride is your worst enemy here, lady.


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

A) OMG. Wall of text. Paragraphs help.

B)


that_girl said:


> Stop it. You know it's wrong. End your marriage or end the affair.
> 
> Stop cake eating.


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## onemic (Aug 14, 2012)

I think it's more then that. Stop all communication with this "friend". Yes, make the choice but you already know that's it's wrong. Don't ask for reassurances on here because you will not get it here. Tell your husband what's been going on with your life recently. Write a no contact letter to the om and offer your husband full transparency and what ever necessary. 
This is going to be a tough uphill battle but you need do either A or B not both. 
You know what right in your heart and judging by your post you just need a push to the positive direction in the right way! Your husband deserves to know what's going on, let him know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Search the forum for a thread called "I'm a wife in an emotional affair" by AnnieAsh. She's been where you are and is slowly coming out of it. Read her thread. Everything you need to do is there. And it will show you that it can be done.


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## Untouchable (Sep 15, 2012)

Sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. But I have stopped contact with him before. He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself. I started to tell my husband but couldn't completely tell him what's going on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Untouchable said:


> Sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. But I have stopped contact with him before. He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself. I started to tell my husband but couldn't completely tell him what's going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He doesn't just pop up. You don't tell him off, which is you purposely leaving yourself open so he is able to renew contact. If you were giving 100% effort to fix yourself you would have told him its over and not to ever contact you. 

An analogy would be a guy who says hes quitting smoking, but leaves a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on the table in his bedroom two feet away from him. 

Whereas someone serious about quitting smoking would toss any and all smoking related items in the garbage.


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

Untouchable said:


> Ok. So... I'm sure some of you have seen my other posts before. I disappeared for a while too. Lets to to the point... I am "attached" to another man. I have known this Guy for about. Year and a half now. He's bright, charming, cute, funny and just an all around amazing Guy. My problem is, its becoming more than just a friendship. We both are married with children. I have no idea what's going on but for some reason I "love" this man. I know its stupid, childish and what not but damn. I cannot seem to get him out of my head. All I can think about is him. He talks about us getting together and leaving our spouse. I'm just honestly not sure what to do. I know its wrong. Maybe its because I have a person who cares about my opinions, feelings and actually takes the time out ofbhis day for me. My husband does not. I will her a compliment maybe once every few weeks. I'm not a small girl by anymeans and I'm working on that for myself. Husband calls me fat, this man calls me beautiful. My husband has been too distant for too long. Sex is a rare occasion. So rare I'm beginning to not want it with my husband. This man listens to me when I need to talk to someone while my husband says hes too busy. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm sick of my husbands ****. We are growing distand and maybe this new man is just a temporary solution to feeling so alone? Ugh. Idk. I'm so into this Guy that I've actually become rude, and very angry towards my husband. Like he says something and I just snap. I have never been like this. Ahhh. I don't know. Please. Someone tell me I'm crazy and. And knock some sense into me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please say you're in your teens or early twenties, you sound like a 15 yr old with boyfriend problems.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Is the affair physical ?



> Husband calls me fat, this man calls me beautiful.


Hmm..I'm guessing that OM has no ulterior motive when he calls you that beautiful while your H has every reason to demean you.



> Maybe its because I have a person who cares about my opinions, feelings and actually takes the time out ofbhis day for me


Or maybe he wants to f*ck you..That is why!! That can be a major motivator..




> We are growing distand and maybe this new man is just a temporary solution to feeling so alone?


What about your kids ? His family ? His wife ? His kids ? Your Husband, the man you once loved and took marriage vows with ?

None of them matter, right ?


You come off as extremely immature OP.. Maybe you want to look into that..


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself.


Why would you want to get with a guy who is actively looking to cheat on his wife and kids ? Are cheaters so attractive ? What is so attractive about such a scumbag ? Maybe because your morals match ?


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

How have you brought another man into your marriage?

You have already started slipping on a backward slope.

Unless you stop seeing the other man and thinking about him, your marriage with your husband is in for a trouble.

Your marital problems are better addressed with your husband and you are not right in comparing your husband with OM. How would you feel if your husband compares you with other women? I hear you say your husband says you are fat. You should probably work on your physical appearance.

More importantly, work on your relationship with your husband and do not bring in OM into your marriage.


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## NickCampbell (Oct 18, 2010)

Feeling attraction for others and falling out of love with your spouse is normal. 

How you handle it is what matters.

What happened in my relationship was - my wife fell out of love with me, took it as a sign that we just "weren't suppose to be" and started her EA. 

Meanwhile, when I fell out of love with her (twice during the nine year relationship) and pined after someone else - I told myself it was normal, that I would eventually fall out of love with the new girl too, and that It was a sign I needed to work on my marriage. 

So I found the moments I loved her the most and built from there. The feelings eventually came back. 

She never gave herself the chance, and by the time we realized we had a problem, she was too invested with her EA. 

So two ways to handle the same problem.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"I'm just honestly not sure what to do. I know its wrong." These two statements don't agree. If you know it's wrong, you know what to do. Right now, you imagine life as a choice between two scenarios, life with husband or life with this new guy. There is a third (very real) possibility. That's being caught in an affair and abandoned by both, maybe losing custody of your kids or keeping the kids but losing 70% of your financial support. The world is full of struggling divorced mom's with kids. It's really easy for a guy to flirt with a woman. How anxious is this guy going to be to leave his wife, lose his kids, at least half of what he owns, damage his reputation, to trade-in for you and your kids? The man you have isn't perfect but he's YOUR man. Even if you had a written guarantee, would you really want a husband who runs around behind your back, flirting with other women? I'm sure he has the same reservations about you.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Untouchable said:


> I am "attached" to another man. I have known this Guy for about. Year and a half now. He's bright, charming, cute, funny and just an all around amazing Guy. My problem is, its becoming more than just a friendship. We both are married with children. I have no idea what's going on *but for some reason* I "love" this man. I know its stupid, childish and what not but damn. I cannot seem to get him out of my head. All I can think about is him.


What you've done is exchange emotional intimacy with a sexually attractive person who is not your spouse. Many people think they can do this and just maintain a friendship. I'm here to tell you that emotionally intimate conversations lead INEXORABLY to infatuation. That is how infatuation works.

Emotional intimacy means sharing your deepest hopes, dreams, fears, ideas, with someone. It means discussing your day, telling funny stories, what you're worried about, etc. All that stuff is playing with fire, and in His Needs / Her Needs Dr. Harley says that this should be reserved for your marriage partner.

If you want to pour gasoline on that fire, try talking about the problems in your marriage with a sexually attractive person who is not your husband. Now you've done what Shirley Glass (outstanding infidelity researcher) says is "opening a window" toward this man, while building a wall between you and your husband. Your husband is no mind reader; so brick by brick you shut him out from what you're really thinking. Meanwhile, you are pouring your emotional energy and effort toward Sexually Attractive Man.

Maybe sexually attractive man wasn't so sexually attractive at one time. Maybe that made him "safe" to have a friendship with. But if that's the case, you've found out the hard way that human hormones aren't quite so picky. If someone strikes a chord in you, responds to your emotional intimacy, and demonstrates caring--BAM, I will show you a sure-fire recipe for infatuation.

The reason you can't explain your feelings, the reason you sense they are NOT rational, is because they aren't. Infatuation is, as I like to say ad naseum, a biological trick designed to perpetuate the species. It's always seen at the start of a relationship. It does not last.




> He talks about us getting together and leaving our spouse. I'm just honestly not sure what to do. I know its wrong. Maybe its because I have a person who cares about my opinions, feelings and actually takes the time out ofbhis day for me. My husband does not. I will her a compliment maybe once every few weeks. I'm not a small girl by anymeans and I'm working on that for myself. Husband calls me fat, this man calls me beautiful. My husband has been too distant for too long. Sex is a rare occasion. So rare I'm beginning to not want it with my husband. This man listens to me when I need to talk to someone while my husband says hes too busy. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm sick of my husbands ****. *We are growing distand* and maybe this new man is just a temporary solution to feeling so alone? Ugh. Idk. *I'm so into this Guy that I've actually become rude, and very angry towards my husband*.* Like he says something and I just snap. *


I want you to examine what you've said here, very closely. Because you're describing a chicken and egg scenario. You have said that this 'friendship' has lasted ONE AND A HALF *YEARS*. So for 1.5 years, you have been split--giving your husband "just enough" to get by in the relationship, and all the rest, and probably for a long time your best, to this other man.

My husband was in a 4.5 year emotional affair with a woman, and your relationship has certain parallels to my H's. Like you, he would mysteriously snap at me and pick fights. I really despaired over this and thought it would never change. I felt like I was a poor communicator because no matter how I tried I could not get through. So I can tell you for certain, it was NOT me. It was that he was channeling his devotion elsewhere. My very existence was interfering with his ability to spend time with her. No wonder he (and you) had this attitude. It was all about, 'when will we next be together'....



> I have never been like this. Ahhh. I don't know. Please. Someone tell me I'm crazy and. And knock some sense into me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


1. Get the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass, the very best book on the subject of emotional affairs--at most libraries. Take a peek at the table of contents via the google books excerpts, link is in my signature. Get the book ASAP. Read it if you're serious about changing.

2. Read AnnieAsh's thread as others have recommended. Look at what she says and how she feels etc. It is very long but you will get a lot out of it.

3. You will have to go "cold turkey" no contact with this man to get your marriage back. It doesn't work the other way around. People whose marriages were less than ideal can't stand this idea. They don't want to let go of the baby blanket (the emotional affair) because they need it as a backup in case their marriage fails. But you CANNOT restore your marriage with this other relationship draining your attention, emotions, energy. It is a cancer on your marriage. Maybe there was already another disease in your marriage, that predated your affair, but if you want to save it, you are going to have to operate on the cancer FIRST. Or your marriage is totally dead.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That_Girl said it all.

You say you end contact with him but he "always finds a way back." Um, that's because you haven't really shut him down yet. If you really wanted to end all contact with him, you would.

How about tell your husband what is going on so he can have a choice in the matter?


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

You say that your husband is distant, lacks sex with you and has no time for you. I am going to guess that he feels something is up. You have admitted to being *****y do to the "Love" you feel for the OM. Would you feel sexy and attentive to a *****y woman? I sure as the hell wouldn't.

You need to start thinking of the consequences of an affair.
1. You will not see your children everyday.
2. You will lose your husband
3. Loss of income
4. A divide family structure as in his family vs your family
5. Loss of friends
6. YOU WILL BE LABELED A CHEATER

If those are not enough to stop you then have at it. Number 1 would have stopped me in my tracks when the idea even popped up.

Lets say you both leave to be together....wait till you have to deal with jaded exs.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Untouchable said:


> Sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. But I have stopped contact with him before. He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself. I started to tell my husband but couldn't completely tell him what's going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are weak. I cannot understand the excuse "well he keeps coming back". I have never let someone back into my life that I did not want there. I hope he gets busted by his wife. Then she can call you BH and let him know what is going on. THE TRUTH. I will tell you that it is better he find out from you than the other BS. It counts for something.


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## idkwhat (Oct 21, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Is the affair physical ?
> 
> while your H has every reason to demean you.
> 
> ...


really. every reason to demean her? dude just because you got dumped and are bitter doesn't mean you are the best source to tell a woman who is being validated by someone other than her crappy husband that she is wrong. 

just your sentence there makes you seem....shallow and cruel


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

****I'm not a small girl by anymeans and I'm working on that for myself. Husband calls me fat, this man calls me beautiful. My husband has been too distant for too long. Sex is a rare occasion.****

did he call you fat when you two were dating? If yes, why did you agree to marry him.

Im my 20s, I dated guys who made remarks about my extra weight.

Looking back, I don't think I was fat, but I do think that they were taking advantage of my own insecurities. In any case, I did not marry any of these guys.But when I read a thread like yours, it make me think that these Pick Up Artists strategies probably can work on some women.

If he teased you about being fat when you two were dating, what made you decide to ignore that act of abuse to want to marry him anyway?


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

The OM is trying to get into your pants so he’s blowing smoke up your a$$ in order for you to think he’s great and you’ll reward him with sex. Rest assured he's lying his a$$ off to impress you.

Your husband already has you so he doesn’t have to try so hard.

It’s really that simple.

Courting women is a lot of work which is why it slows to a crawl when you get M. You can finally relax since you got the girl. The problem is women missing all the courting so fall victim to an OM willing to court them but this time just for sex and not a M. If hypothetically you left your H and M the OM you’d be right in the same boat you are in now. The OM would turn into your current H.

If you like being chased so much you should never get married.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

> "I'm just honestly not sure what to do. I know its wrong."


You sure know. You *don't want* to do the right thing. Stop buying your own lies. Self honesty.


> He talks about us getting together and leaving our spouse.


That is. Choose to live in la la land. Think about how it really works, include reality, both set of families, friends, lawyers...
Try a realistic game called "Play it to the end".

Put your feet in the ground. Stot escaping.
Go NC cold turkey, choose reality. Get past the withdrawal, clear your head. Then, once MOM has no menaing in your head adress your marriage.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> How about tell your husband what is going on so he can have a choice in the matter?


She can't then she might lose her husband. Can't ditch the husband until the OM is a sure thing and they can get together and live happily ever after.

If the OM doesn't work out, no harm, no foul since the husband will never know about it. And she pretends to be the perfect wife to him until the next amazing guy.


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## Untouchable (Sep 15, 2012)

Ok. As for everyone saying he wants sex, he really can't want it that bad. We lived in the same area for 3 of the months and the rest of the time we have been away from eachother. Thousands of miles apart.
Husband never called me fat before. Just started recently after I had his second child. He's been distant for a long time. Sex is on a basis when he wants it and throws a fit if he doesn't getbit. He admitted to not "getting over" his ex. Still talks to three or four of them. Maybe all of the emotional abuse in the relationship before has pushed me to this.

As for loosing weight, I will NOT do it so my husband stops calling me fat. That is just pathetic. I'm doing it for me and no one else. Kind of how I got spider bites for me and no one else along with tattoos. I'm not chaining me for anyone
And as for anyone who asked my age I'm 19. Maybe I married too young? Who knows. 
I'm looking for friendly advice not for someone to shoot me down. I get enough of that at home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

Untouchable said:


> Ok. As for everyone saying he wants sex, he really can't want it that bad. We lived in the same area for 3 of the months and the rest of the time we have been away from eachother. Thousands of miles apart.
> Husband never called me fat before. Just started recently after I had his second child. He's been distant for a long time. Sex is on a basis when he wants it and throws a fit if he doesn't getbit. He admitted to not "getting over" his ex. Still talks to three or four of them. Maybe all of the emotional abuse in the relationship before has pushed me to this.
> 
> As for loosing weight, I will NOT do it so my husband stops calling me fat. That is just pathetic. I'm doing it for me and no one else. Kind of how I got spider bites for me and no one else along with tattoos. I'm not chaining me for anyone
> ...


you got married way too young, you still sound like kids, this doesn't mean your marriage is over but you guys need to grow up an think some type of counseling


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

Your 19??? Jesus, you shouldn't be married.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Lady nobody here is going to validate you. Everybody regrets having affairs if they truly love their spouse. And yeah, married way too young.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Way to young to be married, by a longshot. This marriage is toast. 

Your husband is immature, and you're immature as well. 

To put it in layman's terms, both of you f*cked up the marriage.

Are you also ever going to take responsibility? No matter what your husband did, an affair is always wrong and not an answer. Theres a whole list of things you could've done that would've retained your dignity. But instead ,like most people too immature to be in a marriage, you go out and get your needs met by someone else. Treating your married partner as if they're a boyfriend and can be swapped out at the drop of a hat. 

For all of the self reliant attitude in that post, there sure was a lot of "but but he did this!" in an attempt to validate your affair. I thought you were doing those things not because of him but because of you and you alone? Or does that self reliance and responsibility suddenly vanish when its' about the affair?

Also keeping a score board this earlier in the marriage?

I think you two need some heavy counseling, but for that to work OM needs to be gone. 

Don't waste your and your husbands money on counseling if you're still having your affair, because it won't do anything for you that can't be negated by an email or text from OM.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> I cannot seem to get him out of my head


Then you just aren't trying hard enough. ARE YOU?

You willing to cheat on your husband? To cheat on your children? To help your potential OM cheat on his wife? His children?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Take this 'wonderful' guy's script and learn to own it. The issue here is that this guy is telling you stuff you should be able to tell yourself. Your husband has opinions, and you know they are 'wrong' and not about the real you. You shouldn't need to have your identity verified by another man. You SHOULD be able to discuss with your husband what it is you need and aren't getting, and to communicate well enough with him to proactively fix issues in your marriage. If you cannot do that, and you want to leave, leave. But don't go grabbing onto the next guy who says nice things. Let's put it this way, your husband must have said some nice things to you that caused you to marry him. Then he stopped doing this. This could happen again. You don't know this guy long enough to know if he is just looking for a different situation where he can get some and have maybe a wife who earns more or whatever. Maybe he's a jerk at home and has blown it with his wife, and you are easy prey. Honestly, I don't see much wrong with ending a relationship if your husband is as you say. But not until you give it 100%, and if it's not right, go on your own for a while, not to another man who will 'make' you feel better. Most people have an internal script, they will feel good about themselves without someone there to tell them. That is the best way to avoid cheating, having self respect and self esteem, so that you are not prey for the predators. Just take compliments like smiles or whatever and don't read into them any further than that. It's entirely possible this guy started out just giving you compliments since he noticed you were down in the dumps and he wanted to be nice, and your reaction was extreme and now caused him to think about other things. Anyway, at some point you allowed this to happen. Honestly, it's not for people on here to decide. As my grandmother used to say, if you can make your bed, you need to lie in it too. That includes being brutally honest with yourself about what you are doing with your life, and why. And there are men who will be attracted to women with children, because they know the woman will take care of the children, one way or another, and being attached to the woman means meals and housing and well, sex, as long as they can continue to say nice things.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Untouchable said:


> Sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. But I have stopped contact with him before. He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself. I started to tell my husband but couldn't completely tell him what's going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then you are choosing the affair and the OM over your husband , your marriage, and your family.

Is that the choice you want?

If not then, truly end contact with the OM. Tell him off, tell him to drop off the face of the planet, and block him from your email and phone.

Change your course. Choose to be faithful.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

So your emotional affair has lasted since you were at least 18, maybe even 17?

He is how old and you've been married how long, and he has _3 or 4_ ex's that he's stayed in touch with?

How long can you possibly have been married--all the while in this "friendship" for 1.5 years?

You have to admit that those numbers are pretty startling.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

iheartlife said:


> 1. Get the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass, the very best book on the subject of emotional affairs--at most libraries. Take a peek at the table of contents via the google books excerpts, link is in my signature. Get the book ASAP. Read it if you're serious about changing.
> 
> 2. Read AnnieAsh's thread as others have recommended. Look at what she says and how she feels etc. It is very long but you will get a lot out of it.
> 
> 3. You will have to go "cold turkey" no contact with this man to get your marriage back. It doesn't work the other way around. People whose marriages were less than ideal can't stand this idea. They don't want to let go of the baby blanket (the emotional affair) because they need it as a backup in case their marriage fails. But you CANNOT restore your marriage with this other relationship draining your attention, emotions, energy. It is a cancer on your marriage. Maybe there was already another disease in your marriage, that predated your affair, but if you want to save it, you are going to have to operate on the cancer FIRST. Or your marriage is totally dead.


I gather you didn't read my post from the top of page 2. I know it was long. Here is the summary of my advice. It is intended with a great deal of friendliness--let me know if you have any questions.

Again--how old is your husband--did I miss that? 

I take it you've been married 3 years--so your emotional affair has taken up nearly half that time?


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## Impartial&unopinionated (Jan 5, 2014)

AngryandUsed said:


> How have you brought another man into your marriage?
> 
> You have already started slipping on a backward slope.
> 
> ...


Definitely definitely don't even think about working on your personal appearance. Your husband has no right to call you fat or any other derogatory name. I very much doubt he is perfect himself. Your husband should love you exactly the way you are and have the respect to keep his mouth shut. My personal response would be "if you don't like what you see then there's the door mate"

Truth is, you don't need any body elses opinion on this. It's always easy to give out opinions you'll never have to follow yourself. Just look inside yourself and do what's right for all of you concerned. You do need to end one of the relationships, but which one is down to you and you alone. If you do leave your husband, do it for YOU because you're just not happy anymore, not for this other man.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

19, married with 2 kids, and an emotional affair for a year and a half? 

How long have you been married?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Zombie thread


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Just noticed the date on the original post. I haven't been on this site for very long, but I've seen several of these "zombie threads" during that time. How on earth do these things get dug back up from the "graveyard?" It's really kind of funny in a way.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Before you get yourself in any more trouble, think about what I'm going to tell you.

What's happening is the OM is showing you all the good things he know that will make you happy. Why shouldn't he. 

Now underneath all of that he has the same warts and faults like all other humans have. You just haven't seen them.............yet. 

Oh but you will. Believe me their all there wrapped up and out of sight and if you think that he doesn't have them, your wrong. Sooner or later, a little will come out, then a bit more and the you'll start to see that his shiny suit of armor has dents and rust spots on it like everyone else has.

There's no such thing as the perfect man or woman. We all come equipped with bad habits, quirks and faults so before you dive head first into a great big mess that you can't find your way out of and destroy everything, think before you jump. 

You just might find out that it wasn't worth it. But by then it will be too late and you won't be able to turn back the hands of time. Look before you leap.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

thummper said:


> Just noticed the date on the original post. I haven't been on this site for very long, but I've seen several of these "zombie threads" during that time. How on earth do these things get dug back up from the "graveyard?" It's really kind of funny in a way.


Someone browses through the threads, doesn't notice or doesn't care when the last post was, doesn't understand or care about recent activity indicators, bumps the thread with a response, and things take off from there (like now!)


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## JustPuzzled (Dec 12, 2012)

The Walking Thread
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Sometimes when you view a thread, maybe its in "Todays posts" TAM shows threads that are similar at the bottom of the page and these can be really out of date.

I think that's how some Zombie's come to life.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Untouchable said:


> Sorry for the wall of text. I'm on mobile. But I have stopped contact with him before. He always finds a way to pop back up as soon as I start fixing myself. I started to tell my husband but couldn't completely tell him what's going on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And this is an "amazing guy?"

Sorry, but "amazing guys" do not threaten your marriage and your family. He's threatening his family and he's threatening yours. It's time to wise up.

He's a creep. Dump him now before this gets very ugly.


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