# Relationship with a married woman!! need a way out!!?



## neilneo (Jul 6, 2013)

Hi Im single and unfortunately in relationship with a married woman for last 4 months..after realizing i`m getting bit emotional about her and have strong doubt hat she`s using me i wanted to quit i told that to her and avoided her phone calls mails and chats..things were run bit cold afterwards.. and were working fine for me she keep on calling me occasionally but i didn`t answered..yesterday i was drunk and all of a sudden i replied her chat..and again out of the blue i get in to an emotional level talking and said i love her..... ..Now after my hangover i realized the trouble i`ve caused ....i want to get rid of her and RUN In between she once extended her willingness to stay friends...truth is i`ve a soft corner for her but i don`t wanna make things more complicated I`m sure she`s gonna call me based on the boost from yesterday and i don`t have an excuse..It would be embarrassing to not attending her call again please help..


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Just stop all contact with her. Delete her phone number, her email address, etc. Block her phone number on your cell.

You have 100% control over ending all contact with her. You are a grown man right?

Or you could tell her husband. After he’s done with you, then maybe you will realize how easy it is to block her phone number.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Just stop all contact with her. Delete her phone number, her email address, etc. Block her phone number on your cell.
> 
> You have 100% control over ending all contact with her.* You are a grown man right?*
> 
> Or you could tell her husband. After he’s done with you, then maybe you will realize how easy it is to block her phone number.


Damsel in distress.


OP, this is a non issue stop bawling around, be a man and dump her.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

You do realize that she has a H, and possibly children at home, that she is cheating on---which makes you a participant, in Home Wrecking

It matters not what she says, about what goes on in her life---most cheaters, justify, their A's, and in many instances, the justification is BS

You need to just plain let the woman know, you are done with her, and if she wants to know why---tell her you do not participate in the destruction of mge/the wreckage of the lives of innocent kids, and same for H-------tell her---you are deleting her, and for her to go back to her H


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## A++ (May 21, 2012)

Why don't you call and tell her husband?


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Is this for real?

OP, ummmm, don't answer the phone and stop drinking. If she is a stalker, threaten to tell her husband or, better yet, tell him yourself.



??


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Stop screwing with another man's life!!

What the h**l is wrong with you?

Imagine what its gonna feel like one day if your married and some other POS is doing this to your life and family.

You should tell the H and offer an apology for your extremely insulting behavior.

If you don't, or even worse continue this crap, I hope he completely wrecks you in any way he can for partnering with his WW to destroy his life. 

You will deserve everything he does.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

She IS using you. She lies and manipulates you too! She is not married to you, she's married to her husband. If she hasn't left him already, she never will.

Stop sleeping with married women. Find a single woman. The best thing for you to do is tell her husband ASAP. Then get yourself straightened out, so you choose a single woman next time.


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

Are you serious man. 

Hell. I used to avoid my mother calls, bill collectors calls, my bosses calls. It is not that hard. 

You have enough common sense to come here with your known issue and state you know what you need to do. Well the feedback you will get here will be no different than what you already said you should do. 

Quit helping to **** up another mans life and be a man. 

Just think about when you finally get married. Put yourself in that situation.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Be a man and tell her husband.

That will solve your problem, plus it's the Right Thing To Do.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

neilneo said:


> Hi Im single and unfortunately in relationship with a married woman for last 4 months..after realizing i`m getting bit emotional about her and have strong doubt hat she`s using me i wanted to quit i told that to her and avoided her phone calls mails and chats..things were run bit cold afterwards.. and were working fine for me she keep on calling me occasionally but i didn`t answered..yesterday i was drunk and all of a sudden i replied her chat..and again out of the blue i get in to an emotional level talking and said i love her..... ..Now after my hangover i realized the trouble i`ve caused ....i want to get rid of her and RUN In between she once extended her willingness to stay friends...truth is i`ve a soft corner for her but i don`t wanna make things more complicated I`m sure she`s gonna call me based on the boost from yesterday and i don`t have an excuse..It would be embarrassing to not attending her call again please help..


OK, TAM people.....

Give me a T ("TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT")
Give me an R ("RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR")
Give me an O ("OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO")
Give me an L ("LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL")
Give another L ("LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL")

Now, what's that spell.........


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> OK, TAM people.....
> 
> Give me a T ("TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT")
> Give me an R ("RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR")
> ...


I agree, but if it isn't he might need help. If it is, he just got a load of replies that a troll would expect in any case...


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The only answer here, where everyone can win is if

The OP tells the woman's husband about the affair. Fully and completely.

That way the husband can dump her cheating worthless aXX in the street and begin working on upgrading.

And if this is a troll thread, it will create wonderful drama to report back with.

Either way telling the husband is the way to go!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

neilneo said:


> Hi Im single and unfortunately in relationship with a married woman for last 4 months..after realizing i`m getting bit emotional about her and have strong doubt hat she`s using me i wanted to quit i told that to her and avoided her phone calls mails and chats..things were run bit cold afterwards.. and were working fine for me she keep on calling me occasionally but i didn`t answered..yesterday i was drunk and all of a sudden i replied her chat..and again out of the blue i get in to an emotional level talking and said i love her..... ..Now after my hangover i realized the trouble i`ve caused ....i want to get rid of her and RUN In between she once extended her willingness to stay friends...truth is i`ve a soft corner for her but i don`t wanna make things more complicated I`m sure she`s gonna call me based on the boost from yesterday and i don`t have an excuse..It would be embarrassing to not attending her call again please help..


Picture his fist slamming repeatedly into your unprotected face....This may give you the resolve to stop scre_wing his wife....

the woodchuck


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> Picture his fist slamming repeatedly into your unprotected face...


Why is the betrayed spouse always assumed to be bigger and stronger and a better fighter than the other man?

Why is the other man the one who is supposed to get beat up when the cheating spouse is the one breaking the marital vows and allowing some other guy to screw her?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

lenzi said:


> Why is the betrayed spouse always assumed to be bigger and stronger and a better fighter than the other man?
> 
> Why is the other man the one who is supposed to get beat up when the cheating spouse is the one breaking the marital vows and allowing some other guy to screw her?


Good always wins over evil.

That and the fact that the betrayed husband is about to lose evrything he loves and has nothing to lose but going all out for death. Call it a willingness/anger the betrayed has that out wieghs the the others guys willingness to win.

The pain and anger only someone that has been there can relate to


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

lenzi said:


> Why is the betrayed spouse always assumed to be bigger and stronger and a better fighter than the other man?
> 
> Why is the other man the one who is supposed to get beat up when the cheating spouse is the one breaking the marital vows and allowing some other guy to screw her?


Pure rage. The husband is intent on harm while the OM is defending.y


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

the guy said:


> Good always wins over evil.
> 
> That and the fact that the betrayed husband is about to lose evrything he loves and has nothing to lose but going all out for death. Call it a willingness/anger the betrayed has that out wieghs the the others guys willingness to win.
> 
> ...


And my favorite...."If you find yourself in a fair fight....your tactics SUCK"....

the woodchuck


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

neilneo said:


> Hi Im single and unfortunately in relationship with a married woman for last 4 months..after realizing i`m getting bit emotional about her and have strong doubt hat she`s using me i wanted to quit i told that to her and avoided her phone calls mails and chats..things were run bit cold afterwards.. and were working fine for me she keep on calling me occasionally but i didn`t answered..yesterday i was drunk and all of a sudden i replied her chat..and again out of the blue i get in to an emotional level talking and said i love her..... ..Now after my hangover i realized the trouble i`ve caused ....i want to get rid of her and RUN In between she once extended her willingness to stay friends...truth is i`ve a soft corner for her but i don`t wanna make things more complicated I`m sure she`s gonna call me based on the boost from yesterday and i don`t have an excuse..It would be embarrassing to not attending her call again please help..


Tell her you respect her husband too much to do that to him, and she should too. Tell her that she obviously has problems with her marriage that she should talk to her husband about and not some man she's not married to. Tell her that if she ever gets a divorce, to look you up, you can respect that, but you can't respect her if she'll cheat on her man. I believe you do actually care about her, because you want to do the right thing and not lead her down a path that will destroy her. You're a good person for doing the right thing and not giving in to temptation. Stay strong.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

the guy said:


> Good always wins over evil.


Only in the movies. 

In real life sometimes the bad guys win.



the guy said:


> That and the fact that the betrayed husband is about to lose evrything he loves and has nothing to lose but going all out for death. Call it a willingness/anger the betrayed has that out wieghs the the others guys willingness to win.


That won't make up for a difference between say, a mild mannered 170 lb husband and a strapping 220 lb muscular other man who might have a 6" height advantage.

I'm picturing that cartoon where the big guy is holding the little guy at arms length by holding the top of his head in one hand while the little guy keeps taking swings in thin air that don't reach the bigger taller guy.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> OK, TAM people.....
> 
> Give me a T ("TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT")
> Give me an R ("RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR")
> ...


Really? Actually, when I was a young man, maybe I could have written a post like that. Had the Interwebthingy been invented then.

Actually, I encouraged her to go back to her husband. 

And this, OP, is what you must do.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

lenzi said:


> Why is the betrayed spouse always assumed to be bigger and stronger and a better fighter than the other man?
> 
> Why is the other man the one who is supposed to get beat up when the cheating spouse is the one breaking the marital vows and allowing some other guy to screw her?


Wrong place to come and defend home-wreckers of any gender.

You know why? Because the BS was the one man enough to take a vow and raise a family.

The cheating OM had only the courage to get his d*ck wet.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

OP, the question is this: do you really want to end this with her? Really? Because if you did, you would.

No one forces you to pick up the phone when she calls. Not even the alcohol, which you want to set up as the straw-man for your poor judgment.

The RIGHT thing to do - the MATURE, MANLY thing to do, is to tell her husband that his wife is cheating, and then set yourself a boundary in the future that you will NEVER flirt with or touch another man's wife ever again.


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## Onmyway (Apr 25, 2012)

Uggh, why does his screen name have to be POSOM's real name (only spelled the alternate way).

Thanks for the reminder a**, troll or not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Send the text of your messages to her husband then give him a call to answer any questions he has. 

She will leave you be after that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Onmyway said:


> Uggh, why does his screen name have to be POSOM's real name (only spelled the alternate way).
> 
> Thanks for the reminder a**, troll or not.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I saw one like that earlier today. Out of what, self mutilation? I took a start look at his thread and just. couldn't. do. it.

Sorry, probably a good guy, on this site, but due to his name I can't find my way to giving him the benefit of my (incredible!) wisdom.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

neilneo said:


> Hi Im single and unfortunately in relationship with a married woman for last 4 months..after realizing i`m getting bit emotional about her and have strong doubt hat she`s using me i wanted to quit i told that to her and avoided her phone calls mails and chats..things were run bit cold afterwards.. and were working fine for me she keep on calling me occasionally but i didn`t answered..yesterday i was drunk and all of a sudden i replied her chat..and again out of the blue i get in to an emotional level talking and said i love her..... ..Now after my hangover i realized the trouble i`ve caused ....i want to get rid of her and RUN In between she once extended her willingness to stay friends...truth is i`ve a soft corner for her but i don`t wanna make things more complicated I`m sure she`s gonna call me based on the boost from yesterday and i don`t have an excuse..It would be embarrassing to not attending her call again please help..


grow a pair and tell her its over or your telling her husband. then tell him anyways! then quit being a douch bag and stay away from married woman!


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

lenzi said:


> Why is the betrayed spouse always assumed to be bigger and stronger and a better fighter than the other man?
> 
> Why is the other man the one who is supposed to get beat up when the cheating spouse is the one breaking the marital vows and allowing some other guy to screw her?


Why do you even need to ask this question?

Maybe beating up is a little old fashioned, but there are more ways to skin a cat as they say.

A man who has sex with a married woman knows it is wrong. It is wrong in both a morally relative and morally absolute sense. This man knows he is doing wrong - there is simply no way to justify this unless he does not know what he is doing.

As such, they deserve everything that might come their way. 

Of course, the cheating spouse also deserves everything that comes their way too.

Violence is, of course, never the answer, although it seems perfectly acceptable to inflict untold emotional and mental harm on people with no consequences.

Just to go a little off piste here, had you given me the choice of a severe physical beating or my wife's betrayal, I would choose a beating every day of the week for months on end as it would be less painful and leave less permanent scars than the betrayal.

Still, I have lost my thread so - what was your point again?


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

the guy said:


> Good always wins over evil.
> 
> That and the fact that the betrayed husband is about to lose evrything he loves and has nothing to lose but going all out for death. Call it a willingness/anger the betrayed has that out wieghs the the others guys willingness to win.
> 
> The pain and anger only someone that has been there can relate to


Good always wins? Rrrriiiggghhtt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

While I understand the anger towards the OP, I do have to say he is one of a few who actually has enough of a conscience to seemingly WANT to resist having an affair with a married woman. He is single, apparently found out she wasnt, and now hes struggling with the dopamine rush being with her gives him. This is not just a simple "hes an evil *******" situation. He has feelings just like the husband does and just like the cheater does.

These "feelings" all center on the release of neurochemicals in the brain, specifically dopamine and oxytocin (and others). The brain secretes a certain amount of dopamine normally and certain things trigger the release of excessive amounts (i.e "happiness")- like buying a new car or house, or seeing a new lover. This is the "fog" that everyone here talks about, and the only solution to fixing it is perspective modification and ALLOWING THE BRAIN TO RETURN NEUROCHEMICAL LEVELS to pre-affair amounts. To do this, we advocate the "no contact" approach so that the new lover can no longer provide the excessive release, and we advocate "time" so that the brain can go about normalizing neurochemical levels in the interest of the institution of marriage.

Anyways, to the OP: it sucks, but you know what you have to do. Your conscience has lead you here because you want to do the right thing, but your heart is preventing you from doing what everyone here knows you need to do. No contact. Break all connections with her. And while some joke about you telling the husband, I actually condone the idea. I would suggest finding out his email or his phone number or even HANDING him a letter and driving away. He has a right to know what his wife is doing. He may hate you in his mind at first, but by you explaining that you didnt know, you are breaking all contact, "this" is what happened, and you wishing him the best, he will probably respect you. It will also probably piss her off at you, meaning after angry words she might leave you alone. 

Gotta do it man- shell do the same thing to you if you hook up with her, and you will hurt the only man who can help her (her husband)...


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## blackdiamonds (Jun 26, 2013)

If you want to completely get out of that mess, delete ALL of her contact info and/or unfriend her from FB,IM/Chats, ANY social networking,etc. and don't EVER have any contact with her again to make it clear.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

blackdiamonds said:


> If you want to completely get out of that mess, delete ALL of her contact info and/or unfriend her from FB,IM/Chats, ANY social networking,etc. and don't EVER have any contact with her again to make it clear.


This is what you need to do...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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