# Almost to the point...



## Nanulak (Sep 8, 2010)

18 years of marriage. That is probably something to be commended but I just can't stand the woman. We got married when she got pregnant so I 'did the right thing.' Now I've been paying for it for almost two decades. Well, my kid is 17, a senior in high school, and preparing to submit college applications to schools 3 hours or more distant from my home. As soon as she gets accepted I'm getting out of this nightmare. I used to argue with my wife but now I only do so when she forces me too. I usually just shut down. She is a very angry person who is always right. How can I argue with that? She manipulates things until she gets her way. It's like being married to a bully. She always talks about me to her Mom. Telling her what a f-up I am and the things I've done wrong. She always tells me how angry she will be if I screw up anything and how bad I will pay if I tried to leave her. I guess I really don't care anymore. What will she do? Ruin my good name? Talk crap about me? Ruin me financially? I don't care anymore. I am miserable. She tells me how unhappy she is but won't do anything about it. She hates where we live (country, family land) and tells me how she is not staying here for much longer. I wish she would just go now but I guess she is also staying for the kid. I have joined a gym to get myself back in shape just so I can date other people after she is gone. I have not cheated but I have started looking on singles sites just to see what's out there. I helped her get a college degree so she can be independent when we are separated. Now she has a great job and can get her own benefits. I always told her it was so we could pay for college (which is true) but I think the bigger reason is so she won't continue to be a drain on me forever. 
Why did it have to be like this? I only wanted to get married once but now it's all f'd-up. I knew I shouldn't have gotten married but I felt obligated to my kid. It feels like I'm close to coming out of limbo and can start living again. The only problem is I don't even know how to start getting a divorce. Any help with this anger, pain, and getting started would be appreciated. 

Just want this to be over.


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