# We might need to decrease our frequency



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Been awhile since I've been here, so hope many of the usual suspects are still around. Seems like we're busier than we've ever been with her part time job, my full time job and the two younger kids into their activities. Based on the activity level we have going on, we may be seeing a decrease in sexual intimacy. Sometimes the wife is stressed out and it's better for her to have a night to just unwind as opposed to wanting to have sex. Thinking we may have to have a discussion on what how she's feeling. Thinking we may have to stick to no more than sex 3 times a week - probably like a Tue, Thur, Sat set up. It sucks, but if it helps with her feeling more relaxed and excited then maybe it's a win all around. Maybe a little bit of frequency for better over all quality is the right call here. 

Also of note, I allowed myself to get out of shape and could definitely stand to lose a fair amount of weight. I started getting my ass in gear and am hitting the weights again. Sore as a M'fer, so it's easing back into the exercise. More importantly, working to control calorie intake. I have a good grasp on proper diet and exercise, just fell into a rut. Plus...food tastes great!

Anyone else take the path to sacrifice some frequency for improved quality? Did it work out well, or was it simply a case of "less is less"?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear Plan 9 from OS; 

To some of us a "decrease to 3 times a week" really sounds like your "glass is half full." I am sure that to you it doesn't feel or look that way. Just saying you might want to think about how bad it could really get, before you have your talk with your wife.

Go gently and good luck.

P.S. Well done on taking inventory on yourself and making some improvements.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

While good for you, get ready to be hated!!

8)


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

For what it's worth, I have heard that in some cases lessening frequency can build up the anticipation factor or help a low-drive partner ramp back up for the next round, whenever it might be. It's all about temperance and knowing the needs and desires of both parties involved and making sure those don't fall to the wayside. 

Another thing to consider, is if you both decide to decrease the frequency, make sure that doesn't include any outercourse you might want to keep as an option, as well as any forms of affection that keep the love and attention afloat. It's totally fine to have days in between sessions, but those periods of breathing/recovery time should not become blackholes that suck the very energy and excitement out of the love life. These breaks might also help you both explore other ways in which to entice or communicate intimacy that you otherwise might have never explored.


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