# How do YOU deal with PMS in relationship?



## oldfashioned1

I get terrible PMS every 25 days. It's been my "negative" that I have brought into any relationship. I'm married now and every month for 3 days I just want to be left alone. I get so moody that I can barely stand myself. I've tried a ton of remedies and none have worked. So..I just mark my calendar and when it gets close to those 3 days, I try like heck to not react to anything. It really bothers me that the man that is usually my best friend, is the one person I really don't want to be around those 3 days. The normal quirks that people ignore in a person, and that never bother me with my husband, all of a sudden for those 3 days, make me angry. It's stupid. And we spend every waking minute together except for when we are at work, so this is difficult.

Does anyone else have issues with PMS affecting your relationships? How do you deal with it? How do you take care of your own mental needs(such as space) without hurting your spouses feelings, or looking like a lunatic?


----------



## that_girl

Midol and Dirurex. 

Also, if you need to be alone, then voice that in a nice way. It's understandable.


----------



## The_Swan

My husband is sensitive to my moods and he knows when I'm PMSing. I usually just kind of withdraw from him and talk to my girlfriends. 
I also suffer from anxiety and it gets amplified by PMS. 
I have blown my top at hubby several times while hormonal. 
I hate doing that to him because it just adds to the stress and it's usually not his fault. Hubby tries to keep me calm. he rubs my feet, lets me have my alone time, does the dishes etc.

My alone time is usually spent soaking in a hot bath with a book.
I also masturbate in the tub or have sex with hubby (sometimes both) because that helps work off some tension.


----------



## that_girl

I always get SO SUSPICIOUS and mentally weird when PMSing...which explains last week :rofl: Now that my monthly has started, I am no longer thinking those thoughts. Dang hormones!


----------



## Almostrecovered

I tell you what I don't do


constantly ask when she gets grumpy- "are you on your period?"


----------



## that_girl

Almostrecovered said:


> I tell you what I don't do
> 
> 
> constantly ask when she gets grumpy- "are you on your period?"


:rofl: Good job! My husband never asks that. I'm not usually grumpy, so when I am, he knows it's my period. Although, it's not grumpy....it's more pitiful. LOL!


----------



## pidge70

Try dealing with the mood swings of menopause....good times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl

pidge70 said:


> Try dealing with the mood swings of menopause....good times.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


UGH! Is it really bad? I think I'll go through it early...all the women in my family do...like, early 40s.


----------



## okeydokie

pidge70 said:


> Try dealing with the mood swings of menopause....good times.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


its a hellish nightmare


----------



## that_girl

okeydokie said:


> its a hellish nightmare


How long does it last? Years? 
I'm skurred.


----------



## pidge70

that_girl said:


> How long does it last? Years?
> I'm skurred.


My youngest son is a little over 2 and I am now in perimenopause. I'm 41.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl

Hells bells.

I'm 35...youngest is 3.

All the women in my family had hysterectomies (mom's side) so that put them in early menopause. UGH! I hope I can hold out for a while.

Sorry, OP, for threadjacking! This just made me panic a bit LOL

Do they make Midol for menopause?! I need a bucketfull.


----------



## oldfashioned1

Almostrecovered said:


> I tell you what I don't do
> 
> 
> constantly ask when she gets grumpy- "are you on your period?"




Lol. My Husband DOES ask me that and I just want to punch him. He thinks it's funny. I tell him "just keep poking the sick dog in the corner and you'll liable to get bit".


----------



## oldfashioned1

that_girl said:


> I always get SO SUSPICIOUS and mentally weird when PMSing...which explains last week :rofl: Now that my monthly has started, I am no longer thinking those thoughts. Dang hormones!



Thank you for posting that. I do too and it's frickin embarassing. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.


----------



## that_girl

oldfashioned1 said:


> Thank you for posting that. I do too and it's frickin embarassing. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.


A girl friend of mine would tell me (during my PMS days whlie separated from hubs), "These feelings aren't REAL! just sit and wait them out. SAY NOTHING!" And I listened to her and they would go away in about 3 days time.

This is how I was the first 4 months of pregnancy too :lol: Dang hormones!!


----------



## The_Swan

Almostrecovered said:


> I tell you what I don't do
> 
> 
> constantly ask when she gets grumpy- "are you on your period?"


Good on you. Hubby learned early on not to ask that. 



that_girl said:


> I always get SO SUSPICIOUS and mentally weird when PMSing...which explains last week :rofl: Now that my monthly has started, I am no longer thinking those thoughts. Dang hormones!


This happens to me, too!


----------



## that_girl

It's just wild the things my brain spins when I'm PMSing...the senarios and the paranoia that ensues is just chaotic.

I have learned to just sit and say nothing...because it's just PMS. But dang...if men only knew! lol. I have tried to eat differently during that time and it does help. Midol works best of all. I'm on it now


----------



## FirstYearDown

I had horrible PMS, until I went on the pill. No more backaches, nipple tenderness or weeping spells.

Evening primrose oil caplets during the PMS week helps a lot too. You can find some in any health food store. Start with a low dose to see how it affects you.


----------



## that_girl

Birth control ruined me. I took it one month out of my life and it was horrible :lol: Killed my libido too.

Will you keep at it once the big V happens?


----------



## Yardman

I would go fishing, take a walk, head to the man cave, or putz around in the garage. If I saw it coming, I'd do the laundry when my wife wasn't home. That actually worked best


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I tell my husband that I'm PMS'ing and if I seem irritable, not to take it personally. I, too, PMS pretty badly. I'll usually retire to me bedroom a little earlier then normal. I try my best not to take it out on others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Although I have probably always had a little pms -like most women, I was never aware of it , or my husband for that matter - until my sex drive got really HIGH......then the last thing I wanted was "my space". I needed MORE closeness & affection, or I might have some kind of meltdown -or a fight .

I noticed after a few months of this , it was always around that time before my period -daahhh. So long as he was there for me, he could talk me out of this and it was like I never had it at all, it was really strange. I was just more revved up, more emotional and NEEDY about his "wanting me". Commercials could even make cry, especially those Hallmark ones. During that time frame, the tears would stream down my cheeks, if not, I would only feel sad but not get that carried away. 


This has passed. I may be a little bit more emotional still but very little in comparison to then over these things, I was more aggressive then too, so maybe this is why. They say our brains literally change during PMS..

Check this out , you think some of your stories are bad- they are very mild - read some of these... The Amen Clinics


----------



## Enchantment

I never had many bad PMS symptoms until I became perimenopausal in the last few years. I have been lucky so far that I haven't had the mood swings and irritability that many women complain about. However, I have been unlucky in that I have food cravings, bloating, awful cramps, and horrible migraine headaches (maybe that's why I don't notice any mood swings because I'm dealing with the darn headaches.)

I have been to the doctor so many times in the last few years and tried so many things with no relief.

However, he did tell me that if you have the mood swings and irritability you can try something like Paxil for those few days and it helps many women. Wasn't an option for me since I don't have those symptoms. But, if you do, it might be something to bring up with your doctor and may be worth trying if your symptoms are severe.

As far as dealing with it - well, since perimenopause I never know when things will actually start anymore and the PMS symptoms will hit. I have a rough guesstimate, so I mark the week on the calendar for my H to see when I 'guess' things will happen.

Normally, he'll be able to tell - not because I get moody and crabby, but because I'll be laying down with a monster migraine (I do take medication for them, but the medication makes me feel flaky too and sometimes the migraines still bleed through after taking the medication.) My H is actually really great about it - he keeps the kids and dogs occupied, hustles around supper, and such.

When it's over and I'm back to myself again, I make it all up to him until it begins all over again.


----------



## heartsbeating

I apologize to him.

My moods generally aren't affected that much but it's the quips, the "anything he says I'll rebut" moments that are out of character. If I push, he calls me on it. Then it's like a lightbulb and I realize what I'm doing...then apologize.

He also keeps a good stock of dark chocolate in for me lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

I'm more affected physically. He's come to understand how affected I can be for a couple of days. He dotes on me and that's what I need. Sometimes he might mention exercise and foods to help. He's right with these suggestions but when I'm going through it, it can take a lot of patience for me to accept his advise with good grace. Chocolate. Just feed me dark chocolate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl

Mmmmm dark chocolate.

I wish i could exercise while PMSing. But I get bad cramps from ovulation to the start of my period. I tried exercising because that does help, but it didn't help, just made it worse. SUCKS!


----------



## FirstYearDown

that_girl said:


> Birth control ruined me. I took it one month out of my life and it was horrible :lol: Killed my libido too.
> 
> Will you keep at it once the big V happens?


I don't think so...causes weight gain.


----------



## heartsbeating

Yes, exercise is meant to help - but fat chance I'm moving. That's what I meant with its hard to accept his advice with good grace. I stay curled in a ball with chocolate in hand and pathetic look on my face.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## greenpearl

that_girl said:


> A girl friend of mine would tell me (during my PMS days whlie separated from hubs), "These feelings aren't REAL! just sit and wait them out. SAY NOTHING!" And I listened to her and they would go away in about 3 days time.
> 
> This is how I was the first 4 months of pregnancy too :lol: Dang hormones!!


Your friend is very smart for knowing that! 

I know my spirit becomes low for a few days. During those days, you just don't feel cheerful. Then one day I read an article about women's PMS. The doctor said that after the egg bursts open, our body stops producing anti depression stuff. It needs a few days to re-operate again. I think that makes perfect sense. 

During those days, my poor students suffer. Their teacher becomes very impatient and gets very harsh if they don't perform the way she expects them to.


----------



## that_girl

heartsbeating said:


> Yes, exercise is meant to help - but fat chance I'm moving. That's what I meant with its hard to accept his advice with good grace. I stay curled in a ball with chocolate in hand and pathetic look on my face.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We could so be friends. lol. Last night Hubs rubbed my feet and sent me to bed with two Midols and a glass of wine. lolll Good man.


----------



## that_girl

greenpearl said:


> Your friend is very smart for knowing that!
> 
> I know my spirit becomes low for a few days. During those days, you just don't feel cheerful. Then one day I read an article about women's PMS. The doctor said that after the egg bursts open, our body stops producing anti depression stuff. It needs a few days to re-operate again. I think that makes perfect sense.
> 
> During those days, my poor students suffer. Their teacher becomes very impatient and gets very harsh if they don't perform the way she expects them to.


I get that "down" time too. Knowing this, I just tell my body to stfu LOLLL Thank GOD I only get 10 periods a year (about 35 day cycles).


----------



## greenpearl

that_girl said:


> I get that "down" time too. Knowing this, I just tell my body to stfu LOLLL Thank GOD I only get 10 periods a year (about 35 day cycles).


Say nothing, do nothing, make no big decisions! 

We are not smart during those days! 

That's one thing I don't like about being a woman!


----------



## that_girl

Same here. Although I'm learning to just sit through my emotions during those days. Last week I was so paranoid...holy crap. Now, it's all over and I'm back to normal. Thank god. I have to deal with my mother tomorrow and lord knows I need my sanity LOL!


----------



## raising5boyz

Wow...thanks ladies....I just thought I was loosing my mind a couple days a month! I swear I get crazy about a week before my period! Excercise and eating right makes a HUGE difference for me....even if I don't feel up to it during my period!


----------



## omega

To the OP, you might have PMD rather than PMS (PMD is the severe form, there is some sort of medical treatment for it beyond Midol but I don't know what it is). I get PMS, I go through periods of several years where it's worse, right now I'm in a pretty mild period where some months I don't get it at all. But I have a bizarre PMS symptom that I've never heard any other woman saying she has: I get weird tingling sensations in my fingers that make me need to shake my hands violently to make it stop. When I feel that, I take the first opportunity to tell my husband: "I have PMS, don't take anything I say or do too seriously for 48 hours." He still gets offended if I get snippy with him, I wish he wouldn't since I DO warn him, but we usually just joke about it now. I've found that being b!tchy and then laughing about it is better than trying not to be b!tchy when I have PMS.


----------



## heartsbeating

that_girl said:


> We could so be friends. lol. Last night Hubs rubbed my feet and sent me to bed with two Midols and a glass of wine. lolll Good man.


Nice!

When I was corporate and working closely with another woman (who became a very close friend), she'd comment if I was being more on the quiet side and/or withdrawn. She didn't suffer at all during her time. I tried to put my "work face" on but she got to know me well. I'd arrive to work in the morning and she'd have a cup of tea waiting for me. This started as a monthly nicety she did for me and then ended up with her making a tea for me pretty much every day. Some days I'd arrive and notice no tea on the desk, so I'd go to the kitchen to make one. And sure enough, there was my cup with a bag in it and ingredients at the ready - where she'd started to make it but got busy. This always made me smile. Girl-friends are also awesome. I'd send you chocolate a month from now lol.


----------



## The_Swan

I firmly believe that both women and men do a great service to themselves to learn about the menstrual cycle.
When you are in tune with each other like that, it's pretty cool.

Married for 10 years and after being together so long, my husband knows my cycle as I am very regular. 
I know it can be a delicate topic but the fact that my husband took the time to learn about the menstrual cycle and is interested in how it affects me is very much a turn-on and it adds to the intimacy.





greenpearl said:


> Your friend is very smart for knowing that!
> 
> I know my spirit becomes low for a few days. During those days, you just don't feel cheerful. Then one day I read an article about women's PMS. The doctor said that after the egg bursts open, our body stops producing anti depression stuff. It needs a few days to re-operate again. I think that makes perfect sense.
> 
> During those days, my poor students suffer. Their teacher becomes very impatient and gets very harsh if they don't perform the way she expects them to.


Sperm is an anti-depressant!  Get busy, ladies!




that_girl said:


> It's just wild the things my brain spins when I'm PMSing...the senarios and the paranoia that ensues is just chaotic.


This happens more than I care to admit!


----------



## Stonewall

I had a terrible problem with PMS for years.........then my W had a total hysterectomy......problem immediately resolved! 

She actually said she had had such an emotional roller coaster all her life that after the surgery she felt like a robot with no emotions at all but she adjusted in a couple of weeks and said if she knew life could be like it is now that she would have had the surgery years before.


----------

