# WTF!!! Things your spouse says.....



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

or does to make you blush, stutter, ect. 


Feel free to tell your stories, list examples, ect.



Mine and I were looking at animal print dresses and he says this...


"If your going to get an animal print make sure it's realistic not that neon green or pink ****." At that point i started giggling then he goes on with.... "Seriously when is the last time you seen a pink leopard?" So I replied... "Never... but I have seen a pink panther." (Was referring to the cartoon and movies of course) He replies with... "Yeah I see one every time I go down on you." That caught me off guard of course lol and definitely made me blush! Of course he took advantage of that and then proceeded to "remind" me of the things we did when i was drunk...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Random texts:

"If you had 3 boobs, I wouldn't have to share with my hands and mouth." LOL!

"Ima bend you over tonight and spank you...so make sure you do something bad today."

"You should drink more wine EVERY night. Godam."

lol i get these random texts while at work....


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

lol


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

> "You should drink more wine EVERY night. Godam."


I LOVE this one!:lol:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He came home with a bottle of wine tonight :lol:


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. :rofl::rofl: Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. :rofl::rofl: Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.


omg my hubby does the same only he doesn't look away he has a **** eating grin on his face.. Thankfully he ONLY does it when the kids are in their room or sleeping.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hubs did that last night as I was cleaning bath toys out of the tub  :lol: Thank god I was holding on because I didn't see him approach from behind and I almost went head first into the tile wall.

:rofl: Try to explain THAT accident!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Hubs did that last night as I was cleaning bath toys out of the tub  :lol: Thank god I was holding on because I didn't see him approach from behind and I almost went head first into the tile wall.
> 
> :rofl: Try to explain THAT accident!


It would go like this...


Oh umm.. I... uhh... slipped.... and fell... :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lolll Oh course, when I said, "Hey! Wtf? LOL watch it! You almost slammed me into the wall!" He said, "I'll slam you into the wall....."

:lol: Men.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

FirstYearDown said:


> My husband likes to bend me over and pretend to do me from behind. The expression on his face is neutral and looking away for comedic effect. :rofl::rofl: Good thing we don't have kids-I bet there would be a lot of "What are you doing to mommy?" type questions.


My husband does this ALL the time. In the kitchen, bathroom... pretty much wherever. Usually, it's while the kids are at school, thank GOD! But sometimes, they are in the living room watching TV and I am fixing dinner in the kitchen. He will walk in and do that! Always facing away, so it's not like they can see/understand, but still!

Oh, and sometimes, he will walk up behind me, when I am bending over, picking things up off the floor. He then reaches between my legs and grabs my thighs. I am VERY ticklish and he knows it! But he doesn't stop there... sometimes he starts teasing thru my clothes, while I am bending over.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> My husband does this ALL the time. In the kitchen, bathroom... pretty much wherever. Usually, it's while the kids are at school, thank GOD! But sometimes, they are in the living room watching TV and I am fixing dinner in the kitchen. He will walk in and do that! Always facing away, so it's not like they can see/understand, but still!
> 
> Oh, and sometimes, he will walk up behind me, when I am bending over, picking things up off the floor. He then reaches between my legs and grabs my thighs. I am VERY ticklish and he knows it! But he doesn't stop there... sometimes he starts teasing thru my clothes, while I am bending over.


That's some good stuff right there!  Love it!


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

We were at the mall and walked through JC Penney and looked at their interesting collection of lingerie. He stopped in front of a mannequin with a white corset and thong and in a serious voice says to me "You should put that on and walk out the store with it leaving your jeans and t shirt on the mannequin." He said it so serious and loud and a sales associate was nearby and heard. I had to get us out of there before she dared to follow us around in case we shoplifted or something. I just looked at my husband like WTF? He kills me sometimes.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

Oh, there are times when we'll be having a conversation and he just looks at me and out of nowhere he says "I just feel like biting your ear (or whatever body part) real hard right now." Again, said with a serious face. He's so random.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Non sexual, but funny;
We were in a very crowded video store years ago when my wife pulled a movie and said, "Let's watch this one."
Me: "We watched in a month ago."
Her:"Really? I don't remember."
Me:"You have GOT to quit drinking so much."

Her red face and the snickers from the other customers were priceless. Especially since she rarely drinks at all. I'm the household drunk.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Joe and I were in the store one time and I was picking up some tuna. He looks at me and says, "you aren't making tuna casserole are you"? I replied I was at some point. In a really weird voice he says loudly..."Put the tuna down woman"! He has people giggling, I about died!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> Joe and I were in the store one time and I was picking up some tuna. He looks at me and says, "you aren't making tuna casserole are you"? I replied I was at some point. In a really weird voice he says loudly..."Put the tuna down woman"! He has people giggling, I about died!


lol.. he hates tuna or something? I know my hubby does!! He can't stand the stuff.. but I love it! One thing he did was make me tuna casserole when i was sick with pneumonia.. he knows it's my fav dish and the fact that he actually went near the tuna.. and MADE me that meal.. well i was impressed.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Gaia said:


> lol.. he hates tuna or something? I know my hubby does!! He can't stand the stuff.. but I love it! One thing he did was make me tuna casserole when i was sick with pneumonia.. he knows it's my fav dish and the fact that he actually went near the tuna.. and MADE me that meal.. well i was impressed.


He hates tuna casserole.......lol You'd think he was being punished or something....:rofl:


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

lol .. mine hates tuna period... but he found out he can stand the ones that come in a pack but the ones in a can make him vomit... lol


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> He hates tuna casserole.......lol You'd think he was being punished or something....:rofl:


Why else would you make it? Hell I've seen you smile while you do it.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I have visions of Pidge cackling with laughter at her fiendish plan to make Joe tuna casserole AGAIN heh heh


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> I have visions of Pidge cackling with laughter at her fiendish plan to make Joe tuna casserole AGAIN heh heh


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

joe kidd said:


> Why else would you make it? Hell I've seen you smile while you do it.


Joe, you sound like my husband! I read the tuna conversation here with him, and he grinned. He SOOO would yell like Pidge says you did. 

Now, he DOES like white tuna..can't stand the light stuff tho. But he hates tuna casserole too. :rofl:


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