# [B]Do you file if they are the one that wants it[/B]



## chouse2312 (Jan 7, 2014)

I have two other threads going through this fiasco
Is there any moving past this
walking the line between standing and serving

I went into this asking my wife what she thought about separation. She gets on the phone and then it becomes divorce. I have free legal representation through my employer so I it makes sense for me to get the attorney to file for both of us since there aren't really any disagreements over assets etc. Should I be moving forward with that even though I still love her and honestly don't think its a good idea? I feel like if not for the outside family forces she would be in a different place about our relationship.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Only you can decide that. Every situation is different.


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## ICLH (Dec 26, 2013)

I'm in a similar situation. He wanted the divorce yet seems reluctant to file. He wants me to do it. I told him it's his responsibility to end the marriage. He made the choice. He's got plenty of time to do it but makes excuses. Says he doesn't have the money. I am too busy at this point to start the process so I've been waiting to be served. At some point, if I don't receive the papers, I will.


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## Juicy (Nov 15, 2011)

Hi chouse2312, I was in a similar position like you. It was my ex H who ended our relationship in April 2013 and asked me to leave his mother's house which was where we were living. Between April and October 2013 we spoke few times and I wanted to sort things out and get our marriage back on track even though I knew he was seeing the ow. He then stopped messaging me for a long time and then out of the blue texted saying he wanted a divorce. I just ignored him because I still loved him and didn't want to divorce. 

Anyway to cut a long story short a few days after the text he sent me a different message telling me to forget the divorce, and that he still loved me. We met with each other between October and December but in the end he backed off and basically ended it all again.

I haven't heard from him since but I really do feel like I will see the divorce papers in the post soon. I was thinking of getting in there first and filing myself, the only issue for me is money. If I go through a solicitor it will be expensive but I can do it myself which I am seriously considering. Atm I have a bit going on so I will hold off for a few months but I have told myself to be prepared to see divorce papers from him. 

I think if it is definitely over between your then consider getting a divorce otherwise you might end up holding onto false hope and never moving on, and that's what happened to me for a while. Personally I think it would help my situation so have a think if it will better for you or if there is any chance of saving your marriage. (Just be realistic, I don't know your situation but I know I was too hopeful).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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