# Affair with your SO



## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Ok, so here's a weird one for you all... 

I often fantasize about my wife in ways that we don't normally engage in intimacy, like mind movies of wild heated passion almost like porno sex. Once in a blue moon it gets this wild but it's rare, although we do have a sexual "routine" that works for both of us and we're very happy despite not (often) being wild and crazy.

But sometimes I almost feel like I want to have an affair... with my WIFE. Does that sound crazy to you???

I know how taboo that word is and it can be a trigger for some, but I'm more trying to convey the excitement / rush aspect of it to describe how I feel about my wife. I still crave my wife sexually in a "new relationship" way... like I want to make love to her so crazy that it would be perceived we're doing something wrong but it would feel so damn exciting.

How would you react if your spouse told you they "Want to have an affair with you"???


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> How would you react if your spouse told you they "Want to have an affair with you"???


I'd say great, when and where you want to meet up? Then plan to do just that... hook up with each other at a bar, make out like crazy in the car on the way to a hotel, and once we get there act like we just met and we're sowing our wild oats!!

Fantasy with your spouse is fun. Too bad not too many people go there and really PLAY with each other.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I know exactly what you mean. I was just having a good conversation with a female TAM friend about this very topic. 

I've said it to my husband and he's said it to me. He's my married man.  I "pick him" up at places. We pretend we haven't met before. I go to his office late in the evening when no one is around. It's all good stuff. Neither one of us is cheating. It's more a role play/fantasty type thing. I realize this is a huge trigger for some on TAM, and probably someone is going to flame me for saying we do it, but what we do isn't the same as someone who is actually cheating on their spouse.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Coffee Amore said:


> I know exactly what you mean. I was just having a good conversation with a female TAM friend about this very topic.
> 
> I've said it to my husband and he's said it to me. He's my married man.  I "pick him" up at places. We pretend we haven't met before. I go to his office late in the evening when no one is around. It's all good stuff. Neither one of us is cheating. It's more a role play/fantasty type thing. I realize this is a huge trigger for some on TAM, and probably someone is going to flame me for saying we do it, but what we do isn't the same as someone who is actually cheating on their spouse.


I love to do that too. Always keeps it a little more interesting.

OP -- Just make sure you phrase it to where you say AN AFFAIR WITH YOU so your spouse doesn't flip her lid on you hahaha. Other than that, have at it!


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

My husband tells me all the time that he is glad that I am his lover and his wife.

I think it would depend on the connotation of the word "affair" to your wife. If anyone close to her had an affair--father, brother, etc., then she would not find this sexy. I assume that you will be playful and have that glint in your eye when you say that word to her.


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## newwife07 (Jan 11, 2011)

Your SO is the only person you've got--if you're married, for life, hopefully--so I say, let the adventure begin! You won't regret it--you'll only regret not having tried it (when you're old and too tired to do fun things like this).


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

Bottled Up said:


> How would you react if your spouse told you they "Want to have an affair with you"???


I'd say, "Well, I'm not busy tonight... or right now."


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I'm sure that would spice up the relationship. 
It's about making your SO be your lover. 
THe idea sounds thrilling and It'd turn me on if my husband asked me such thing!!!!!!!!!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Some post here awhile back stated that married women only buy matching underwear if they`re having an affair.

I asked my wife if she had any matching underwear, she said no but she used to when she was single.

I expressed my relief that she had mix-matched underwear so was most probably faithful to me.(Joking)

Two days later she texts me a pic of her in the prettiest matching bra & panties I`d ever seen with a message...

"I`ll let you peel these off of me tonight if you promise my husband will never find out."

I`ve been having an affair with her for nearly 15 years.


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Yeah lovesherman, that's my only concern is that her BF in high school cheated on her and to this day the idea of cheating really boils her blood... So I'm nervous about saying something like this to her...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Ha! We're doing that for the last couple of months...Its great! sexting, leaving notes, meeting during work and off times at unfamiliar places, hotels, ect... What a blast!!! :smthumbup:


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

Bottled Up said:


> Ok, so here's a weird one for you all...
> 
> I often fantasize about my wife in ways that we don't normally engage in intimacy, like mind movies of wild heated passion almost like porno sex. Once in a blue moon it gets this wild but it's rare, although we do have a sexual "routine" that works for both of us and we're very happy despite not (often) being wild and crazy.
> 
> ...




If my husband said this to me I would feel sexy as hell!!! It's like saying I want you sooo much will you be my other woman? As if there isn't any other person you would want to have sex with. I think you should tell her. There is nothing wrong with role playing.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Bottled Up said:


> Yeah lovesherman, that's my only concern is that her BF in high school cheated on her and to this day the idea of cheating really boils her blood... So I'm nervous about saying something like this to her...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then don`t say it, do it!

Don`t tell her anything about an affair just have one. don`t mention the word affair if you fear a trigger, just start one.

Take her for a short daytime road trip somewhere the next town over.
Take her to lunch and on the way back pull into the first motel 6 you see and get a room for an hour or two.
Tell her you couldn`t wait to drive all the way home.

Sext her softly like you would a new lover, do you remember what it was like?
Do that.

Pick her up at work for lunch and drive home like a madman and take her on the couch...cause you only have an hour.

Or combine a couple, pick her up at lunch hour and take her to a motel.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I think that most spouses old receive that great! I know I would welcome something like that in my relationship. I hope you pursue this with your wife you may find she wants the excitement too but doesn't know ow to start it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Coffee Amore said:


> I know exactly what you mean. I was just having a good conversation with a female TAM friend about this very topic.


That would be ME ! I'll share ! 

*This is MY fantasy scenerio *....... I gave him up in my teens -cause I was a stupid girl looking for a bad boy (thankfully I wasn't THAT stupid)......but anyway.... I let him go...

He marries a Low drive woman and is suffering (I know him & he would suffer!).... I married a Complete A** hole who doesn't give me the attention & closeness I crave ...... I start thinking about my old sweet loving BF I gave up, hating myself :banghead:.....feeling I lost the one thing in this world that could have made my life beautiful..... we run into each other....maybe Walmart....

I just know I would run up to him & be very friendly, catching up, he was always so darn easy to talk too.... He admits... with me, even though he is Mr Faithful & True, if he was thirsting in the desert at home...... he says I could "do him in"......I've always been the love of his life, he told me he wouldn't be able to resist my charms.... and I worked it up good, telling him I would take him DOWN. 

So I imagine us getting off alone, taking a walk, the rush & excitement of a Love that never drank of each other..... us feeling that passionate intensity of what "should have been"... the lost years.....yeah ...this all coming to a sweet earth shaking "shook me all night long" culmination.... him the suffering sex starved husband & me the emotionally starved wife... ... Yep... SINFUL SINFUL SINFUL.. but somehow soooo delicious.

Now before anyone judges me.... neither me or my husband have any EXs who are even mentionable..... so he is the only one I could even re-enact that with !!

This IS a "Fantasy"... .. *I am making HIM my fantasy man*....I have thought about this.... It is a very sinking feeling of horrendous loss... even teared up over ...just thinking if I hadn't stayed with him & let him go....where I might be now...how I would have destructed my own life. This song expresses that >>> Bread - Everything I Own

Chances are , he would have even remained single- he has told me that, he would never "settle" saying it wouldn't have been fair to the next woman. 

It is the Freshness, the Newness, the THRILL, the rush of hormones, some call the fog..... it is forbidden, it is lustful and it is HOT.... 

I'm very happy to say...I didn't let the good one go..MY fantasy IS my reality. We don't need the forbidden hotel room, that is our very own bedroom! 












> Great book >>>  Kosher Adultery: Seduce and Sin with Your Spouse : Books
> 
> 
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> ...


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Just got my copy today Simply. Looking forward to starting my A with my H!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Bottled Up said:


> Ok, so here's a weird one for you all...
> 
> I often fantasize about my wife in ways that we don't normally engage in intimacy, like mind movies of wild heated passion almost like porno sex. Once in a blue moon it gets this wild but it's rare, although we do have a sexual "routine" that works for both of us and we're very happy despite not (often) being wild and crazy.
> 
> ...


This is my mantra. I have been preaching it for some time. Have an affair with your spouse. Yes.

My priorites in marraige:

1) Be my wife's Lover

2) Be her best male friend

3) Be her husband


In that order.

Go for it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

See I do not see the word Affair as having to be about cheating.

Single people can have a love affair. So why can't a married couple have this too?

This is how this should all work.


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