# Playing both sides?



## Jojara (Aug 1, 2012)

Hi all. I would love some honest feedback about my situation.

I have been married for 3 years, and with my hubby for 5 years. I moved out of our house last December, but we are trying to maintain a relationship. 

We have so many issues, they seem insurmountable. Living apart has helped a ton, but honestly where do you go from there? Its easy to avoid issues by living apart, by pulling yourself out of the situation. Its so much different than actively living in the relationship and working on things. Hence, we work on nothing! I absolutely will not consider moving back in with him until after my 14 yr old graduates and moves off to college. The final straw was him physically attacking my son....and I refuse to ever have them live in the same house again. Over the last 8 months, they can actually get together and enjoy each other. 

Does this seem at all strange to anybody else? I feel like I should be making decisions, progress towards something...but I'm not. Perhaps I don't have to:scratchhead:? I dont know if I am able to be objective about my situation right now...advice would be fabulous!

Thanks,
Jo


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Hi and welcome, Jo.

I completely understand about your son. The tension between my Husband and one of my sons was unbearable. It is good that you husband and your son are getting along now. My husband has had nothing to do with our children beyond a couple of emails to one son.

What you should be progressing toward at this point is you. Work on becoming a strong, confident woman. Not only will that give you the energy and strength you will need to deal with whatever comes of this, but it will show him that he is missing someone who is worth the effort it will take to work on the marriage.

Good luck.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

It would probably be helpful to have a thread about stepchildren.

I believe step family issues (kids) are the #1 reason for the failure of second marriages.

(A really good datapoint for those thinking about giving up on their first marriage


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