# How much time before trying after miscarriage



## bud1982

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and since last November, we have had two miscarriages. She is still physically able to have children, but after the 2nd miscarriage, she has recently told me that she needs time before deciding when, if ever, to try again.

Naturally, this has been hard on me, but I want to respect her needs. I am fearful that she may never want to have kids of her own, but I don't want to pressure her choice. If anyone has any advice or experience of this, both from husbands and from the wife perspective, would be super helpful.


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## Diana7

Were these early miscarriages or later ones? How long ago was the last one?


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## Adelais

I'm sorry for your losses.

Has she had her progesterone levels checked during her pregnancies? Progesterone is what keeps a woman from having her period, and what "keeps" a pregnancy.

A friend of mine lost several children before the Dr. figured out her body did not produce enough progesterone to maintain a pregnancy. She took progesterone during her next pregnancies and now has 4 healthy children.

I also lost several pregnancies due to preterm labor. My uterus did not like being stretched. The Dr.s never figured out the cause, so they put me on a pump that gave me hourly doses of terbutalene, a smooth muscle relaxer. I now have 4 healthy children.

Give your wife a few months to recover physically and emotionally. Encourage her to work closely with an obstetrician, and to not give up on carrying a baby to term.


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## sunsetmist

You might want to ask a mod (@EleGirl) to merge this thread with your introductory thread.


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## bud1982

Diana7 said:


> Were these early miscarriages or later ones? How long ago was the last one?


First one was about 6 weeks in, but the last one, which occurred in March, occurred after we were able to hear the first heart beat.


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## Oldtimer

I’m so sorry for both of you. As a man who has gone through this, I would say have patience and let her decide. After we lost our first, very, very early in the pregnancy. Weeks in, we eventually had two children. I gave her time to decide on how she wanted to proceed and it was within the year that our healthy son was born. Patience friend and loving your spouse. Praying you heal and have the child you want.


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## FieryHairedLady

How old is she?

Talk to your doctor about how the medical aspect. I know after a woman has a baby, they say it takes a year for her body to recover. Not sure about a miscarriage. 

Emotionally wise, give her time. 

2nd marriage. We lost our first son in the 2nd trimester. It was heart breaking. I never wanted to go thru that again. EVER. I did not want any more at all. 

1 year later, hubby asked me if I would please have a child with him. I said yes, but not right away.

I never wanted to feel like I was trying to replace the child we lost.

Eventually it felt like the time was never going to be right, even though at times I verbally said it would be nice to have one more and I did want to do that for him. I was still vigilant about the b.c. though, so I never actively agreed to another, but God had other plans. 6 years later our 2nd son came into this world, happy and healthy. We are thrilled. 

I will add in though that when we married, we did agree we did not need to have kids together and that we were both happy raising my kids from my 1st marriage.

If you don't have any kids though......


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## FieryHairedLady

How old is she?

Talk to your doctor about how long for the medical aspect. I know after a woman has a baby, they say it takes a year for her body to recover. Not sure about a miscarriage. 

Emotionally wise, give her time.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Give her time. I know a girl who has been through 5 and has two kids. She is a high risk pregnancy according to her doctors. She's battles back from the heartache and had her two wonderful and brilliant beautiful kids. Maybe ask your wife if she wants to join a support group of sorts. I can't imagine the pain you and here must have felt. I'm sorry beyond what words can express. This subject really touches a deep nerve with me. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here today if my own mom had given up trying. 

Just be the best husband and show her you have her back whatever you choose.

Some people are meant to carry. Some are meant to be great parents to the most beautiful kids beyond anything you could ever imagine while not being the biological parents. There is another path, and its not a worst case scenario or anything of the sorts. I say all this not to discourage you, but to remind you some dreams we have about our own life's path don't always pan out the way we dreamed them up, yet that doesn't mean its any less fulfilling.


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