# My wife wants too much sex (genuine problem!)



## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

My wife and I have always had what I would call a good sex life - about 3 times a week, more or less consistently in the 7 years we've been together. I'm 31, she's 34. 

Recently, though, she's become increasingly insistent, to the point she wants sex every single night and also frequently initiates it in the morning; she's also said a few times to me that she would have sex twice a day if possible. On a few occasions she has actually woken me up very early in the morning for sex. 

It pains me to say it, because I still find her very attractive, but I don't think I can keep up with it. I'm sure you know how it is - I have a normal, busy working life, sometimes you come home and just want to veg... 

But my main concern is that while she's my wife, I love her, and I think she's hot, because we're having sex so often it's starting to feel like a routine. It's almost like sex is becoming less a thing we do because we're attracted to each other, and more a thing we do because we have to - I'm starting to see it almost as a _task_ rather than a sexual act. Almost "Okay, when I get home I have to write those emails, then after dinner take the bins out, change that light bulb, have sex, take a look at that report..." It kills the passion when it feels so much like something I have to do. And that, in turn, makes the sex itself less passionate and more routine. 

It seems ridiculous, because I am sure there are people out there who are going to say "Are you kidding me? This is a problem?" But I'd like to know how to deal with it, because I have no idea how to even broach the subject. How do you tell a woman that you think she's beautiful, that you enjoy sex with her, but could we dial it down a little bit?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So have you asked her to dial it down? What does she say?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

What would be a fair compromise in your opinion? 3x a week or ?
Have you discussed this with her?

Is everything else happy and good within the marriage?


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So have you asked her to dial it down? What does she say?


Sort of. I've said to her that I feel like our sex seems a bit like it's in a rut (ha ha, no pun intended) and we should try to inject some more passion into it, but I think she took that to heart a little bit and interpreted it as some sort of backhanded critique of her. She can be very sensitive about anything that could seem like a criticism, which makes me wary about raising the issue - the last thing I want to do is give her the impression I no longer find her attractive.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

waiwera said:


> What would be a fair compromise in your opinion? 3x a week or ?
> Have you discussed this with her?
> 
> Is everything else happy and good within the marriage?


Well, we could meet half way at once a day...  

No, in seriousness, my ideal compromise would be "whenever the mood is right"...

As for everything else in the marriage, basically yes, happy and fine. We had a rough patch last year where we were separated for about 6 months, but have been properly together again for over a year now. I do sometimes wonder whether she is still insecure about things because of that mini break-up, and she's using sex as a way of cementing the relationship. But it's been a long time now and, as far as I know, I've given her no reason to feel insecure (I like to think of myself as an affectionate husband).


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Was she like this before the breakup?

If not, how often did you have sex before the breakup?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Was their any infidelity involved in the breakup? Or did you or her date during the breakup?

Have you heard of hysterical bonding? It's normally fairly short term but i'm sure the time length varies a lot. Do you think it's this or ??
Many women get high sex drives during their 30's and 40's...but she IS extreme!


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Why did you break up?

Do you flirt with her every day and make her feel attractive?

Are you willing to try to naturally increase your testosterone and drive? 
Are you fit? 
Do you get enough sleep?

I would think a good compromise would be 6 times a week, but she probably needs you to desire her.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

opensesame said:


> But my main concern is that while she's my wife, I love her, and I think she's hot, because we're having sex so often it's starting to feel like a routine. It's almost like sex is becoming less a thing we do because we're attracted to each other, and more a thing we do because we have to - I'm starting to see it almost as a _task_ rather than a sexual act. Almost "Okay, when I get home I have to write those emails, then after dinner take the bins out, change that light bulb, have sex, take a look at that report..." It kills the passion when it feels so much like something I have to do. And that, in turn, makes the sex itself less passionate and more routine.


Doesn't having sex every day make sex get old?Isn't this the reason why couples tend to have less sex as they get older?You keep having so much sex and it gets old.By the time you hit 40 your sex drive is shot....


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Was she like this before the breakup?
> 
> If not, how often did you have sex before the breakup?


No, she wasn't like that before - it was 2-3 times a week then.



waiwera said:


> Was their any infidelity involved in the breakup? Or did you or her date during the breakup?
> 
> Have you heard of hysterical bonding? It's normally fairly short term but i'm sure the time length varies a lot. Do you think it's this or ??
> Many women get high sex drives during their 30's and 40's...but she IS extreme!


Yes, there was infidelity on both our parts, and I did date during the breakup, but I really thought that was in the past and behind us; now that I'm writing this, though, it's dawning on me (as bone-headed as I am) that it could actually be to do with that. 

The hysterical bonding thing would sort of make sense if this was a few weeks/months after the break-up, but it's over a year ago now... However, something about the idea of her reconnecting with me after that through frequent sex does strike a chord with me.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Damn, I'm 41 and I didn't get that memo.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Why did you break up?
> 
> Do you flirt with her every day and make her feel attractive?
> 
> ...


Long story but my wife is Japanese, we met, dated and married there (I was there 7 years) and we had moved back to the UK for my work - she found this a bit hard and we had a tough year, which we both dealt with the wrong way by seeking solace in others... I think we both realised we were behaving like idiots and the period of separation made us a lot stronger in the end. (At least, as far as I know!  )

I'm very fit, gym 4-5 times a week, constantly flirting with her. Never imagined myself needing testosterone increased - how do you even do that?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Perhaps you can put this on yourself... tell her that your body seens to need more time to rebuild the hormones between sex... so you think that you two need to cut back to once a day.

Compromise.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

opensesame said:


> Long story but my wife is Japanese, we met, dated and married there (I was there 7 years) and we had moved back to the UK for my work - she found this a bit hard and we had a tough year, which we both dealt with the wrong way by seeking solace in others... I think we both realised we were behaving like idiots and the period of separation made us a lot stronger in the end. (At least, as far as I know!  )
> 
> I'm very fit, gym 4-5 times a week, constantly flirting with her. Never imagined myself needing testosterone increased - how do you even do that?


It's probably largely due to the infidelity. Have you had counseling?

How are you both willing to prevent it from happening again?

Also do you flirt with other women? And have you cut contact with any of the women you were involved with?

You can google ways to increase your testosterone naturaly, eat certain things, do lunges etc


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Damn, I'm 41 and I didn't get that memo.


It's different for different people.But many men at 41 suffer from a dimensioned sex drive.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> It's probably largely due to the infidelity. Have you had counseling?
> 
> How are you both willing to prevent it from happening again?
> 
> ...


I've been accused from time to time over the years of being a compulsive flirt. But yes, all contact with the other women is over, except for literally one email when I found out about a death in the family. 

We haven't had counselling. Neither of us are the sort of person to do that. Listen, I'm British, she's Japanese: we're experts in repressing our feelings and not talking about how we feel.  

As for preventing it happening again, we just promised each other not to. For me those days are over, and I thought I'd conveyed that impression to her, but I'm realising perhaps that isn't the case. This has been very helpful, actually.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Perhaps you can put this on yourself... tell her that your body seens to need more time to rebuild the hormones between sex... so you think that you two need to cut back to once a day.
> 
> Compromise.


Thanks, will give that a try.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

When I was incessantly demanding sex from my mid 40's H, he did up telling me he needed a day off to build up some more reserves.

I understood that, it did not upset me or make me doubt his committment. Try just explaining that to her & offering a non-sexual cuddle with chat.

It could be she feels she is not connecting with you enough at the moment & is using the sex to maintain that feeling.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Opensesame,

Welcome to my world, you're not alone. However it seems that other posters have pretty much said what I wanted to say... darn it.

Anyways have you explored the possibility of a sex addiction? That's the extreme case, which I'm currently dealing with. However there are also a few members here on this forum who has had similar experiences with your wife (maybe not sex addiction though, but HD), look up SimplyAmorous or Mavash, they may be able to give you some insight, both are also very friendly and understanding.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

opensesame said:


> I've been accused from time to time over the years of being a compulsive flirt. But yes, all contact with the other women is over, except for literally one email when I found out about a death in the family.
> 
> We haven't had counselling. Neither of us are the sort of person to do that. Listen, I'm British, she's Japanese: we're experts in repressing our feelings and not talking about how we feel.
> 
> As for preventing it happening again, we just promised each other not to. For me those days are over, and I thought I'd conveyed that impression to her, but I'm realising perhaps that isn't the case. This has been very helpful, actually.


Personally I would quit the flirting and don't put yourself in a position where it could happen again. Focus on your wife. 

I view men who need to flirt as needing an ego boost and not being fully satisfied. This might make your wife feel insecure.

Also an email over a death in the family is not no contact. There should be no contact, no matter what EVER. If you contact for any reason, it just says that you are willing to put the other womans' feelings ahead of your wifes.

And you need to go back to counseling and learn to become emotionally close.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Personally I would quit the flirting and don't put yourself in a position where it could happen again. Focus on your wife.
> 
> I view men who need to flirt as needing an ego boost and not being fully satisfied. This might make your wife feel insecure.
> 
> ...


We are emotionally close - we just don't talk about our emotions very much. I don't think that's going to change; it's a personality thing for both of us. We express our love in physical ways (not just sex but hugging, etc., all the time). 

As for the no contact thing...I don't think it's unreasonable to offer commiserations if somebody loses both their parents in the space of a year. Sure, ordinarily there is no contact, but I'm still a human being after all.


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## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

You both should discuss any potential insecurities or emotional issues from your break-up period. Make sure you both clarify to one another that both of you are committed to your marriage now, and the separation is in the past.


As for the phsyical and sexual side... There things you can do to 'put-off' actual intercourse WITHOUT rejecting her or hurting any feelings.

Let her know that you physically need time to 'recover', but continue to kiss, cuddle, flirt and tease her. You'll both feel that closeness without actually having sex so often. 

Get a little creative. When she wants sex and you don't think you want to go at it for the second time that day, offer her a massage, or take her for a romantic walk -- this would be especially effective if she's demanding sex as a need to be close and bond with you.


That's my input, considering I would happily have it twice a day, as would my H. But obviously, on long days at work or just being tired, there are times when either one of us doesn't feel to have full on sex. So, we go for walks together or give eachother massages, or get in bed early and just talk to one another.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

You should try having sex in the evening and quitting before you orgasm once in a while. If she orgasms during intercourse, call it done for the night.

You'll be waking her in the wee hours of the morning and attacking her. Wife's drive is more than mine right now and we do this once in a while. The passion when I do initiate is incredible and she loves it.

I did learn the hard way not to do this in the morning. By lunchtime at work I couldn't concentrate on anything, only thinking about going home and taking care of things.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> You should try having sex in the evening and quitting before you orgasm once in a while. If she orgasms during intercourse, call it done for the night.
> 
> You'll be waking her in the wee hours of the morning and attacking her. Wife's drive is more than mine right now and we do this once in a while. The passion when I do initiate is incredible and she loves it.
> 
> I did learn the hard way not to do this in the morning. By lunchtime at work I couldn't concentrate on anything, only thinking about going home and taking care of things.


_If_ she orgasms!? Whaddya mean, _if_!?

Just kidding.  Will think on that, but, well, I'm not sure I have the willpower.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

No need to worry, it wont last too long, about too much sex i mean


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

opensesame said:


> My wife and I have always had what I would call a good sex life - about 3 times a week, more or less consistently in the 7 years we've been together. I'm 31, she's 34.
> 
> Recently, though, she's become increasingly insistent, to the point she wants sex every single night and also frequently initiates it in the morning; she's also said a few times to me that she would have sex twice a day if possible. On a few occasions she has actually woken me up very early in the morning for sex.
> 
> ...


I wish I had your problems  I my STBX marriage it was the opposite.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

roostr said:


> No need to worry, it wont last too long, about too much sex i mean


Dumb question- does it have to involve _you_ having an orgasm for her to be happy? There are more ways to bring your wife to orgasm than "traditional" sex, which you could save for a few times/week.

I'm thinking the sooner you get to something closer to normal, the more-likely you won't see things make a 180-degree turn (which, presumably, would be worse than your present situation... at least it would be difficult to convince most guys otherwise).


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

opensesame said:


> It's almost like sex is becoming less a thing we do because we're attracted to each other, and more a thing we do because we have to - I'm starting to see it almost as a _task_ rather than a sexual act... It kills the passion when it feels so much like something I have to do. And that, in turn, makes the sex itself less passionate and more routine.


I've been there. I was going through my own personal "rough patch," and my wife took the brunt of it. Sex became something I dreaded. I solved that particular problem by realizing I was the one responsible for making it routine because I was unintentionally communicating that I didn't desire her (which in a way was true). What worked for me was to pick up a couple of sex manuals and read up on techniques and positions and attitude and stuff, which opened up opportunities for us. Reading these books taught me and aroused me, and that translated into more and better sex.

Dumb question... if you're exhausted by the physical action of sex but she wants more, have you considered watching her masturbate? She gets what she needs, and you get to relax. Win-win.


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## VictoriaTT (Dec 21, 2012)

I'm no expert on relationship advice, so if it's all tied up with the separation then this may not help. But my drive is stronger than my husbands and he can't keep up so he often buy's me toys. We just jump online together and pick one out for me to use on my own. It's fun looking at the shops and it’s fun to use. Often he is just tired from work and stuff and I use toys instead. Sometimes he asks me to take a photo and send it to him when I’m using it, it's a pretty good compromise.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

I may be totally off the wall here--but do you have kids? She's 34--could she be trying to get pregnant? That's how the "it's mechanical" strikes me. If she was really so "hot" to trot, then she'd shake it up and make it different--but that doesn't sound like what's going on. So it makes me wonder if she has an alternative motive.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

Casual Observer said:


> Dumb question- does it have to involve _you_ having an orgasm for her to be happy? There are more ways to bring your wife to orgasm than "traditional" sex, which you could save for a few times/week.
> 
> I'm thinking the sooner you get to something closer to normal, the more-likely you won't see things make a 180-degree turn (which, presumably, would be worse than your present situation... at least it would be difficult to convince most guys otherwise).


I have tried that before, but she's never been into that as long as we've been dating - it's not over until it's over, if you know what I mean.


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## opensesame (Dec 19, 2012)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> I've been there. I was going through my own personal "rough patch," and my wife took the brunt of it. Sex became something I dreaded. I solved that particular problem by realizing I was the one responsible for making it routine because I was unintentionally communicating that I didn't desire her (which in a way was true). What worked for me was to pick up a couple of sex manuals and read up on techniques and positions and attitude and stuff, which opened up opportunities for us. Reading these books taught me and aroused me, and that translated into more and better sex.
> 
> Dumb question... if you're exhausted by the physical action of sex but she wants more, have you considered watching her masturbate? She gets what she needs, and you get to relax. Win-win.





VictoriaTT said:


> I'm no expert on relationship advice, so if it's all tied up with the separation then this may not help. But my drive is stronger than my husbands and he can't keep up so he often buy's me toys. We just jump online together and pick one out for me to use on my own. It's fun looking at the shops and it’s fun to use. Often he is just tired from work and stuff and I use toys instead. Sometimes he asks me to take a photo and send it to him when I’m using it, it's a pretty good compromise.


I've never really been into watching without participating, to be honest...it doesn't do a great deal for me. If it's going to happen I want to be actively involved. 



iheartlife said:


> I may be totally off the wall here--but do you have kids? She's 34--could she be trying to get pregnant? That's how the "it's mechanical" strikes me. If she was really so "hot" to trot, then she'd shake it up and make it different--but that doesn't sound like what's going on. So it makes me wonder if she has an alternative motive.


I've thought about that. But we always use a condom - she doesn't trust the pill (mostly a cultural thing, and I don't necessarily think she's so wrong about it, but that's another conversation). That doesn't mean it isn't a subconscious/hormonal reason, though...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

opensesame said:


> It seems ridiculous, because I am sure there are people out there who are going to say "Are you kidding me? This is a problem?" But I'd like to know how to deal with it, because I have no idea how to even broach the subject.* How do you tell a woman that you think she's beautiful, that you enjoy sex with her, but could we dial it down a little bit?*


What you are asking here ---was my biggest worry in life 4 yrs ago....that my husband FELT THIS WAY....it is what landed ME on this forum ultimately ..... unlike your story, we didn't have great sex 3 times a week for most of our marriage.... he was kinda passive and I was in la la land somewhere with our slew of kids..... so when I had a sex drive increase (later than your wife at 42 after our last son)....and he couldn't keep up... *I was frustrated*.... he swore up & down he wanted to be there, even laughed at me when I suggested I was being a BURDEN to him....He said "Sex a burden, are you CRAZY?" 


Depends on your wife how she will take this, I wouldn't have taken it well at all.. Just being honest..... I would have thought, and did think... :wtf: He's an old man now and I am just getting started. It might have even hurt our marriage. But alot of this would have been my anger towards him for NOT pushing me harder for sex in our past and feeling I missed out. 

He didn't push me away though- when I suddenly needed & craved him like air... I so love him for this, it has brought us closer than we could have imagined. 

What she is feeling is what ALL YOUNG MEN feel in their early marriages - when their wives aren't so into sex, some of them really hurt over it, and need more.. they get frustrated, want their wives to initiate, feel like they are going to bed with a loaded gun.

If she likes to masterbate, you have half of it solved, I didn't. Though I was willing too...even bought some toys...and he told me to put them away & use him... Again, what a beautiful loving man. 

A few times a month my husband would NOT get his, he would say he'd want to save it -till the morning or next day...at 1st this bothered me, then when I got it through my thick skull he truly enjoyed being there ....I was able to let this go & be thankful for his giving to me.....

I did a post on this subject once.... how a woman may feel if her husband just doesn't want to be there with her .... after all we are more emotional & men are supposed to be the LUST DOGS.... .... Thread HERE 
.....


> > *Donny64 said*: Yet take that same woman, whose hormones are going crazy during pregnancy, a change of life, or what have you...and suddenly they have an incredible (if not fleeting) very high sex drive, where they can't get enought, and turn them down JUST ONCE in any manner that even remotely resembles the way they've turned us down COUNTLESS times, and the level of butt hurt they feel and display is off the charts.
> >
> > I've witnessed this a few times. And the irony and hipocritical nature of it would be funny were it not so sad that some women (not all) cannot look outside of their own selves for just a few moments to realize this.
> 
> ...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I think celibacy for a month has stopped me complaining (for the moment  ) considering when my wife initiated sex tonight I snapped on it as if my life depended on it.


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## Tennisbumtony (Oct 27, 2012)

Nice reply Littledear


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## Steakface (Jan 21, 2013)

Tennisbumtony said:


> Nice reply Littledear


So transparent...

Yeah, it's always the man's fault. Everybody knows that all women are perfect, and if something is wrong it's gotta be the man so he better bend over backwards to make it better. If the guy demanded this much sex, he'd be a pig. These double standards and woman worship are the reasons gender relations are imploding in America and the UK.


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## uncool (Dec 12, 2010)

Buy her a fake weenie or something so she can get by in between the times when you need to recover. Problem solved.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Steakface said:


> So transparent...
> 
> Yeah, it's always the man's fault. Everybody knows that all women are perfect, and if something is wrong it's gotta be the man so he better bend over backwards to make it better. If the guy demanded this much sex, he'd be a pig. These double standards and woman worship are the reasons gender relations are imploding in America and the UK.


Actually there are a lot of threads where the woman cheated and the man demanded twice daily sex for quite a while. Hysterical bonding is quite normal and expected after cheating. And I would see the cheating spouse's willingness to participate in hysterical bonding as a sign (or lack thereof) of their true remorse.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would say, be very greatful you have a wife with a high sex drive, initiates sex often, anytime of the day because there are so many others in a LD situation, it's not funny. I would kill for a wife like yours any day and put up with her high sex drive.


"Originally Posted by Steakface View Post
So transparent...

Yeah, it's always the man's fault. Everybody knows that all women are perfect, and if something is wrong it's gotta be the man so he better bend over backwards to make it better. If the guy demanded this much sex, he'd be a pig. These double standards and woman worship are the reasons gender relations are imploding in America and the UK."


:iagree:


You are woken up in the morning before work from a loving wife that wants sex with you..........but if a man did that to his wife, nope!!! And you want to dial her down? I've never got this my entire marriage.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

There has been a lot of good posts here and I will add my thoughts.

There is a level of intimate connection that women get during sex. It is possible that she is desiring so much sex because she is feeling a bit less secure and needing that extra sex to fill that gap and feel more connected to you. It is a needy kind of situation, where the sex is filling more than just a physical need, but fills an emotional need as well. Ever notice how a jealous woman will often pay more attention to you, even if it is not the most positive attention. Same principal, she may not feel completely secure because of the split and all that happened and this is a way to get that connection with you, to fill that need to be desired and secure.

You could try one of these clone Search Results - kits and then she would have an exact replica of you to satisfy her if her need is strictly physical.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You're her man, satisfy her sexual wants and needs. You have to realize that as we get older, the sex drives will drop, in your situation, to normal amount of sex instead of high amounts of sex.

If you get her to dial down her sex drive, she may take it the wrong way and really turn down her sex drive. Do you want that?

There's also the possibility she may get her sexual needs and wants met elsewhere......on the side.


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## goodwife4 (Jan 7, 2013)

your wife needs to be with my hubby ...... then theyd both be happy with every night ??!!


kidding ...........

i am 41 and hubby 52 and he would want daily while me 2 to 3 times a week........

compromise ???


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

opensesame said:


> It seems ridiculous, because I am sure there are people out there who are going to say "Are you kidding me? This is a problem?" But I'd like to know how to deal with it, because I have no idea how to even broach the subject. How do you tell a woman that you think she's beautiful, that you enjoy sex with her, but could we dial it down a little bit?



I'm in the same boat for different reasons. I get woken up at 1, 2 or 3 in the morning fairly often.

I believe attitude is everything and all of us have more control over it than we think.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> You have to realize that as we get older, the sex drives will drop


Why do people keep saying this? My wife and I are in our late 40's and are having sex more now then any other time in our marriage. I think as you get older, *the bond grows deeper*, which leads to more sex. At least, it did in our case...


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

opensesame said:


> Recently, though, she's become increasingly insistent, to the point she wants sex every single night and also frequently initiates it in the morning; she's also said a few times to me that she would have sex twice a day if possible. On a few occasions she has actually woken me up very early in the morning for sex.


This was a issue in my marriage when I was in mid 40s and wife early 40s. It was some of the best sex we ever had to that point in our marriage. She was trying all kinds of new things and wanted sex all the time.

What I found out 6 months later when checking a IRC log shocked me to find she was in a emotional affair that resulted in a brief affair. It was not a good time in our marriage. I was on the road doing pipe line work and working in Nuclear power plants out of state. 

I just bring this up since this happened to 3 other friends welders I know. 2 of them got divorced. I came off the road and found a local job. We started counseling which in the end made our marriage and relationship stronger. But it took a lot of work, time and rebuilding trust on both of our parts.

I just bring it up as a possible red flag, it likely is not the issue facing you but I felt I should mention it if this was sudden change. The 6 months of sex was great, the years afterward was a nightmare.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

If things haven't always been this way, OP, it does sound rather like your W possibly has developed an 'exaggerated' need to bond because of post affair insecurity. Neither of you might like the idea of counseling, but unless those feelings are brought out into the open and resolved, I think you'll find that nothing will change.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

starting acting like teenagers and go on vacation

be spontaneous and life will become funner


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