# JUST Filed Divorce Papers



## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Hello All,

I'm pretty down about the fact that I'm here. However, I feel a bit relieved knowing that I did all I could to save my marriage of 6 years. Deep down, I was hoping we'd stand the test of time. But as time passed and things got worse, I knew eventually I would be the one to pull the plug. I'm not sure what my Husband suffers from, but I KNOW he has a disorder and refuses to seek help or even admit something is terribly wrong. On top of having what I believe may be a personality disorder, I believe he also has a sex addiction. I've uncovered 8 affairs. It makes me cringe when I think about how many I don't know about. Yes - I've been tested. I'm clean, thank God! There has been severe emotional abuse, manipulation and constant passive aggressive behavior. There's also an issue with alcohol dependency. I can honestly say, that if it weren't for me being a strong young woman, I would've probably had a nervous breakdown trying to understand all of the chaos, inconsistency and immoral behavior. I've asked for a divorce before and was met with crocodile tears and promises of doing better. I've lost all hope for him, for us. I realize I'm too young (33) to live life burdened with his issues. It would've been different if he was able to admit that something is wrong and he needs help. I would've been there the whole way through. But instead of admitting his issues and taking accountability, he blames ME for HIS actions! I asked him why he didn't ask for a divorce before making a mess of our lives. He said, "I was fighting for our marriage". He STILL insists he is fighting for it. Smh... I'm tired, Guys. But I'll never count myself out. I'm still standing. I'm determined to give our daughter a stable, emotionally healthy and positive upbringing. I realize I can't achieve that if I'm not healthy. So, I'm taking the steps necessary to get there. I've broken what was left of my heart today. But I know I will heal and go on to live a happier and healthier life without him.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

HisMrs83 said:


> On top of having what I believe may be a personality disorder, I believe he also has a sex addiction. I've uncovered 8 affairs. It makes me cringe when I think about how many I don't know about. Yes - I've been tested. I'm clean, thank God! There has been severe emotional abuse, manipulation and constant passive aggressive behavior. There's also an issue with alcohol dependency.


What took you so damn long?!? You should be celebrating....


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> What took you so damn long?!?



Fear. I knew at the beginning of 2015 it was over. I allowed his tears and promises to keep me a year longer. I clung on to hope.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

HisMrs83 said:


> Fear.


I love your honesty. If you can be that self aware already then I promise you will be just fine. 

You're already in far better shape than most of the poor deluded souls who come here.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

HisMrs83 said:


> I knew at the beginning of 2015 it was over. I allowed his tears and promises to keep me a year longer. I clung on to hope.


Only thing I would recommend in the future is to value yourself MORE than you do now. 

You put up with far too much crap. Think more of yourself. Believe you deserve better. 

Don't fear being alone, embrace it and you'll never be a doormat to some asshat again.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

May you have long life and prosperity!


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> I love your honesty. If you can be that self aware already then I promise you will be just fine.
> 
> You're already in far better shape than most of the poor deluded souls who come here.




I was once that poor soul. Every time I was thrown a curved ball by him, I worked harder at the marriage. I never stepped outside of it. I've never disrespected him. The light bulb didn't turn back on... It blew up! I've known for a long time that he is broken. Something in me waited... I wanted him to finally break and ask for help. Now, I've accepted the reality of it all.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> Only thing I would recommend in the future is to value yourself MORE than you do now.
> 
> You put up with far too much crap. Think more of yourself. Believe you deserve better.
> 
> Don't fear being alone, embrace it and you'll never be a doormat to some asshat again.




The very sad part in all of this, is that I've known him since we were kids. I've NEVER let anyone mistreat me the way he has. I wouldn't have allowed it. I wanted our daughter to have us both so badly that I compromised so much of myself. Valuing myself more has gotten me to this place today. I work hard and ask for nothing but mutual respect and reciprocity. I'm asking for what he can't give. I get it now.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Like the old saying goes, "better late than never."

Good Luck. Divorce him expeditiously and don't look back.

That chapter of this bad novel is over. Time to start a new one.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

EunuchMonk said:


> May you have long life and prosperity!


Thank you, Dear. I appreciate those words.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> Like the old saying goes, "better late than never."
> 
> Good Luck. Divorce him expeditiously and don't look back.
> 
> That chapter of this bad novel is over. Time to start a new one.



Thank you so much for your words, today. They say good girls/guys finish last. I'm going to finish first. I'm a good woman. I just fell for the wrong boy. Won't happen again. Again, I thank you.


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