# Question for the Ladies "Is Her Job More Important"



## StandbyMe (Aug 5, 2011)

October 16th will be 3 months since my wife walked out due to my drinking and verbal abuse. I was jealous and selfish also over the last couple of years of our marriage. The day she walked out I stopped drinking, I went through the crying and pleading for her to come back with no success. 

I have made improvements in myself since that day as it was a wake up call for me that I did not respect my wife. I am a diff rent person now but she can't see if as I have not seen her in over a month. She got a new job right after the separation after being unemployed for close to 3 years. Putting things into perspective she always depended on someone else to support her over the years. Now she seems to be totally focused on supporting herself. I have sent her numerous e-mails with suggestions on how we can improve our marriage.I expressed to her after the first month I was going to see a marriage counselor and she expressed "Why waste the money you can fix this yourself" so I listened to her and cancelled the appointment. I have tried in the past to bring up the marriage but she does not want to talk about it. She tells me she needs more time to decide. She tells me "I want to make sure I don't make another mistake" I am going to a marriage counselor on Monday for myself to seek ways to improve myself more and to help me get through this. She calls me about once a week to see how I am doing, with no conversation related to the marriage. She told me yesterday the entry job is just the beginning to get something better within the company. She seems to be totally focused on making money and her career path instead of the marriage. So, I will continue to seek ways to improve myself to get through this as I think about her every day. So my question is does a woman spend her entire thoughts on the Job without thinking about the marriage? When I was not drinking I felt like I did a good job in supporting her and my step-son. As the kids got out on there own it seemed my wife felt trapped and was consumed with finding a job. I have stated to her many times through the separation that given the opportunity I would honor and cherish her for the rest of my life if given the chance. But she seems to be focused on herself instead of reconciliation.


----------



## StandbyMe (Aug 5, 2011)

I did not have that sentiment at all. Any woman that stays at home and raises children is very special. I did not mean this in a negative way just stating the history and facts.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

She won't sacrifice the job because it's her ticket to independence.
She's entirely correct considering it doesn't sound like she has anyone else to depend on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

