# I'm sorry pebble



## Kythedoormat (Dec 6, 2020)

Hey everyone, 

Would just like to say I made a mistake. My girlfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

I apologise for wasting anyones time for responding to this thread and I would like to apologise publicly to my girlfriend for upsetting her like this. 

I'm sorry.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Are you married? If not just get out. She's not relationship material. Sorry.


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## Kythedoormat (Dec 6, 2020)

I'm not married fortunately. I've heard this a lot from friends and family but I just wanted the opinion from someone(s) who don't know her. 

Thank you for your response, means a lot!


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

You don’t have even have the piece of paper that forces you to put up with her. So why are you there? Does she ever do anything good? Or are you just addicted to her? I know it happens... believe me.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Addiction isn't good for relationships. You could do better. You have not yet started asking yourself if "alone" is better. When you get there, . . . Leave.
Meanwhile you should protect your person (physical and mental), your assets, and other people you love from her. 
So in advice in order
1, Don't be in a relationship with an addict
-----if you don't agree with 1
2, Keep your eyes open for a better relationship
-----if you don't agree with 1 and 2
3, Wait until you do agree, but protect yourself so when that day inevitably comes, you will be able to leave.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

If your off times were better than you on times... ask yourself why.

If your on times were better than your off times... do the same.

Once you understand why it is healthier to be codependent no more, you will love yourself more.

*Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself*


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Kythedoormat said:


> After an argument she will either not speak for a day or two or, like today, invite me around and have me waiting on her every little need whilst she throws up like something out of the Exorcism.


At this point, apparently you think you belong on the floor. Quit enabling. Quit being a doormat. Kick her ass to the curb. Allow her to own her drinking/drugging and let her deal with the consequences of said actions.

Find another woman. You don't want to live another second with an addict. 

Sign me,

Formerly Married to an Alcoholic.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Move on and create a new life. That one’s done.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Have you considered going out partying with her or are you not invited?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Kythedoormat said:


> I'm not married fortunately. I've heard this a lot from friends and family but I just wanted the opinion from someone(s) who don't know her.
> 
> Thank you for your response, means a lot!


Actually you need to be listening to the people that DO know her. 

A lot of people aren’t relationship material and people that know you and know the kind of person you are as well as know her and the kind of person she is——— if they are telling you she isn’t the right person for you,, you need to take that seriously. 

One of my best friends married a monster and his life was dang bear destroyed by her. 

Not only did every single one of his friends and family warn him she was bad news but even HER friends and HER OWN PARENTS warned him about her. 

He chalked it all up to everyone being racist (she was a different race).

No, we weren’t racist and it didn’t have anything to do with her being a different race,, it is that she was a train wreck and a bad person regardless of race.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Now here is something else that you need to take to heart. - at its core, dating is any interview and probationary process. 

Throughout most of human history, people practiced arraigned marriage (so their children didn’t marry drunks, train wrecks and wh0res).

In western cultures for the hundred or so years, individuals have been allowed to choose their own mates.

The process we use to make that selection is what we know as dating.

It is spending time with someone, during a variety of things with them over time to get to know each other and see if they are the right mate for each other or not. 

You now know that she is irresponsible, a drunk, a druggie a party girl and we can also safely assume she is screwing and blowing other dudes. 

And the best part is when she does decide to have you around, it is to clean up her messes and be her errand boy and do things for her since she has compromised her own functionality and can’t do simple tasks like clean up puke herself.

So you tell me, if this were a job interview and a probationary period for work position, how is her performance and how is she doing??


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> And the best part is when she does decide to have you around, it is to clean up her messes and be her errand boy and do things for her since she has compromised her own functionality and can’t do simple tasks like clean up puke herself.


Look up the word “Simp” in the urban dictionary.

It should set off some alarm bells.

Then as a homework assignment , you need to start watching at least an hour’s worth of “Better Bachelor” and “Strong, Successful Male” on YouTube every day.

Within a day or two you should start seeing the light.


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

Walk away before she gives you a dose of something you don't want or before you get her pregnant.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

And finally, this is a self esteem and self image issue. 

For some reason you see yourself as the nerd and the dork that can’t get dates and can’t attract decent women. 

If your unemployed get a job. 

If you are underemployed, get into a job training program that credentials for a decent paying trade/career (not a philosophy/psychological/sociology/history/English or other humanities degree). Once you have a job that pays the bills, then you can get the psychology degree on your own time if you want.

If you are fat - lose weight.

If you are scrawny, eat meat and hit the weights.

If you are socially awkward, get coaching if you need to but get out and start interacting with people. 

If you spank to porn all the time - STOP!

If you play more than an hour a day of video games, get out of your moms basement and do things in real life with real people. 

If you dress like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, get a popular, good looking chick even if it is a close relative, or get a gay guy to help you update your wardrobe. 

If you were glasses, get contacts,lasik or at minimum an up to date, in style glasses.

.....and then get out and meet people and interact with them and start dating women that are clean, sober, functional adults. 

If you do all of those things, you will be able to get a woman that can at least stay sober, hold down a job, keep her pants on around other men and function as an adult. 

You are a doormat because you believe this skank is the best you can get.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

What are you getting out of this?

Clearly you're getting something. If you cam pinpoint what it is your decision will be clear.


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

I would move on... Your not married to her, why not just find another that treats you with respect? It certainly sounds like she has you pegged as a 'doormat'.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Kythedoormat said:


> Hey everyone, fairly new to all of this. Just wondered if anyone had any advice for me?
> 
> I have been in a relationship with my partner, on and off for about 4 years now. I love her but sometimes she can be a nasty piece of work. Lately her new thing is going out, drinking and taking drugs and then disappearing for the night after making plans with me. After an argument she will either not speak for a day or two or, like today, invite me around and have me waiting on her every little need whilst she throws up like something out of the Exorcism.
> 
> ...


You belong wherever you allow anyone to put you.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Kythedoormat said:


> Hey everyone, fairly new to all of this. Just wondered if anyone had any advice for me?
> 
> I have been in a relationship with my partner, on and off for about 4 years now. I love her but sometimes she can be a nasty piece of work. Lately her new thing is going out, drinking and taking drugs and then disappearing for the night after making plans with me. After an argument she will either not speak for a day or two or, like today, invite me around and have me waiting on her every little need whilst she throws up like something out of the Exorcism.
> 
> ...


Sounds like she might have addiction issues and she is nasty. You don't need this treatment in your life. Disappearing to where? Once someone starts to treat you like this, best to move on. Start doing a hard 180 on her to disengage. Do not be available for her, no contact, no calls, no checking, in no dates, no nothing. I attached the list here. 
You are only 4 years in, time to get out. 








The 180


Several years ago, Michelle Wiener Davis, the author of Divorce Busting, introduced a concept to the world of infidelity that is designed to help you and your partner move forward in the healing of…




beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Kyle, Doormat,
There are plenty of people you can love but not be with or live with because they're just not suitable for you. Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are the right person for you to be with. you need to get out of this relationship before she accidentally gets pregnant and ties you to her for life. 

Don't start thinking she's going to change. I imagine the longer you've known her, the more you've experienced this type of thing. 

You can't change her or fix her. You have your whole life ahead of you and what you should do is always focus on choosing someone who enhances your life and makes you happy. I'm sorry she didn't turn out to be who you hoped she was. It's a very painful thing to face, but once you realize she's not who you hope she'd be, you'll realize this isn't the person for you.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Kythedoormat said:


> Hey everyone, fairly new to all of this. Just wondered if anyone had any advice for me?
> 
> I have been in a relationship with my partner, on and off for about 4 years now. I love her but sometimes she can be a nasty piece of work. Lately her new thing is going out, drinking and taking drugs and then disappearing for the night after making plans with me. After an argument she will either not speak for a day or two or, like today, invite me around and have me waiting on her every little need whilst she throws up like something out of the Exorcism.
> 
> ...


You married a party/bar ****. If you don't have children together, GTFO.

You can't win here.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Why have you wasted 4 years of your life with her? I just dont get it.  😕


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## B.s.detective (Dec 7, 2020)

Welcome Ky the doormat 
Stop being a ***** man just grow a pair of balls


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