# Separated From Wife



## separated71

Hello everyone, I am here for advice. I have been separated from my wife for about a year. A little background about our marriage. - We met on a online dating site in 2015 and were living together 3 months later. The relationship started off good, but soon turned difficult quickly. I first noticed her getting very angry over things that did not appear to be that big of a deal. And when I say angry, I mean she would yell and scream violently in my face. We continued on and to make things more difficult, she had two teenage boys. 
We end up getting married about six months later and the angry attacks continued. And dealing with her sons and not being able to say anything about their behavior was difficult as well. I if did, there were verbal attacks once again. Things have been really hard for me staying in this marriage. I have left several times to stay in a hotel and this got expensive haha. Well about a year ago, with many issues with her and her sons, I decided to move out and get an apartment. BTW, her sons are now 23 and 20. They both have been difficult to get to know and have caused our marriage even more problems. 
During our separation, we have stayed in contact and even went on a vacation together last Summer. FYI, I have continued to pay the house mortgage the whole time and it has gotten expensive for me. So moving back home would be the best financial decision. Especially since our house has increased a good bit in value. And she wants me to move back, but I am afraid to do so because of our issues. I know it will have to be her way or no way.
I am confused to move back or not. And also I slept with another woman during our separation and I feel guilty for doing so. I have cut off communication with this woman. Should I tell my wife that I have done this? And any advice is much appreciated.


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## Sfort

separated71 said:


> Hello everyone, I am here for advice. I have been separated from my wife for about a year. A little background about our marriage. - We met on a online dating site in 2015 and were living together 3 months later. The relationship started off good, but soon turned difficult quickly. I first noticed her getting very angry over things that did not appear to be that big of a deal. And when I say angry, I mean she would yell and scream violently in my face. We continued on and to make things more difficult, she had two teenage boys.
> We end up getting married about six months later and the angry attacks continued. And dealing with her sons and not being able to say anything about their behavior was difficult as well. I if did, there were verbal attacks once again. Things have been really hard for me staying in this marriage. I have left several times to stay in a hotel and this got expensive haha. Well about a year ago, with many issues with her and her sons, I decided to move out and get an apartment. BTW, her sons are now 23 and 20. They both have been difficult to get to know and have caused our marriage even more problems.
> During our separation, we have stayed in contact and even went on a vacation together last Summer. FYI, I have continued to pay the house mortgage the whole time and it has gotten expensive for me. So moving back home would be the best financial decision. Especially since our house has increased a good bit in value. And she wants me to move back, but I am afraid to do so because of our issues. I know it will have to be her way or no way.
> I am confused to move back or not. And also I slept with another woman during our separation and I feel guilty for doing so. I have cut off communication with this woman. Should I tell my wife that I have done this? And any advice is much appreciated.


It sounds like your wife may have Borderline Personality Disorder. Either that, or she has a LOT of garbage in her history. Either way, doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.


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## Marc878

Life is short. It sounds like you shouldn’t have married her in the first place. If it were me I’d let her go. You know this will probably get worse not better. Drop the hopium pipe and get a life.


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## Lostinthought61

Not sure you expect by moving back it's not like both have been attending marriage counseling or individual counseling to work on your issues. Honestly I would cut your losses and sell your home and move on...do you honestly think she had epiphany?


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## Nina Jo

I will say No. Don't tell her, if she have angry issues telling her will definitely trigger her and things can go from 10 to 100 in a second. I think you should sale the house and looking for a peace happy relationship.


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## thunderchad

You sound like a total doormat to this crazy woman.

I dont see any good coming from this.

Being separated for a year, I think there's 100% chance she slept with other people too.

Just divorce and move on with your life.


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## BeyondRepair007

separated71 said:


> Hello everyone, I am here for advice. I have been separated from my wife for about a year. A little background about our marriage. - We met on a online dating site in 2015 and were living together 3 months later. The relationship started off good, but soon turned difficult quickly. I first noticed her getting very angry over things that did not appear to be that big of a deal. And when I say angry, I mean she would yell and scream violently in my face. We continued on and to make things more difficult, she had two teenage boys.
> We end up getting married about six months later and the angry attacks continued. And dealing with her sons and not being able to say anything about their behavior was difficult as well. I if did, there were verbal attacks once again. Things have been really hard for me staying in this marriage. I have left several times to stay in a hotel and this got expensive haha. Well about a year ago, with many issues with her and her sons, I decided to move out and get an apartment. BTW, her sons are now 23 and 20. They both have been difficult to get to know and have caused our marriage even more problems.
> During our separation, we have stayed in contact and even went on a vacation together last Summer. FYI, I have continued to pay the house mortgage the whole time and it has gotten expensive for me. So moving back home would be the best financial decision. Especially since our house has increased a good bit in value. And she wants me to move back, but I am afraid to do so because of our issues. I know it will have to be her way or no way.
> I am confused to move back or not. And also I slept with another woman during our separation and I feel guilty for doing so. I have cut off communication with this woman. Should I tell my wife that I have done this? And any advice is much appreciated.


I don't understand why you got married when the relationship seemed so rocky at the beginning.
Was it really that good before? The red flags weren't there?

But anyway now there's quite a mess, quite a history of anger and who knows what else.

I would seriously consider marriage counseling a requirement before considering moving back.
The previous issues need to be dealt with or you will be right back where you were before.
And yes...be honest with her.

"Her way or no way"... that's not healthy. Deal with these kinds of issues BEFORE moving back.


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