# Why TAM??????



## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

I am new here and trying to muster up the courage to share my story and understand what it is that I am seeking from TAM.

So...What was it for you? What brought you here? Why share your personal circumstance? Did you find what you were seeking? Has TAM helped?


----------



## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

TAM helps...but you in the end help yourself. have met some great people online here. Now I return the favor. One TAM member reached out years ago and is now a good phone/email friend and my personal therapist we help each other.

Be careful though depression ahead.


----------



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I was having major sexual problems with my spouse and got a lot of help here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Just put in some random Google search last year about husbands and Affairs and been hooked ever since.
This place literally saved my life last year!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

I had been searching articles and various information on how to help strengthen a marriage, or how to know when a marriage is doomed (had been searching for a little while, hadn't found anything REALLY helpful). Recently googled "marriage help" and found this place. I'm still new and haven't grown the balls to post about any of my problems, but TAM has already helped me out just from reading about others' experiences and advice.


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I kept coming back because people were honest. Brutually honest. Told me what I needed to hear. That pushed me to do what I needed to do. More so than counselling did, because that was very "soft" in terms of "maybe you could consider doing A, B, C".

Certain members and the 2x4's. That's what kept me coming back. 
LOL


----------



## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

AsTheStoryGoes said:


> I had been searching articles and various information on how to help strengthen a marriage, or how to know when a marriage is doomed (had been searching for a little while, hadn't found anything REALLY helpful). Recently googled "marriage help" and found this place. *I'm still new and haven't grown the balls to post about any of my problems, but TAM has already helped me out just from reading about others' experiences and advice*.


I came across TAM sometime in the winter of 2012. My husband brought it up in conversation while referencing a couple of self-help books he found on this forum. I don't believe he ever became a member. I don't really know why I have. I keep being drawn back here, but everytime I think about how to compose an introduction and a summary of all the hurt and distrust in my marriage I become overwhelmed. On top of that I know there are things that I need to be slammed for and I don't know how to take that from strangers. I have lived my whole life portraying perfection on the outside when I am a complete mess on the inside. The safety of the anonimity here is both freeing and terrifying.


----------



## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

Are your spouses involved with the site as well? If they are do you make them aware of your sign on?


----------



## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

Thankfully my husband found this site after I told him I want a divorce. I have learned so much about myself and about relationships.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

StoneAngel said:


> ..I keep being drawn back here, but everytime I think about how to compose an introduction and a summary of all the hurt and distrust in my marriage I become overwhelmed. On top of that I know there are things that I need to be slammed for and I don't know how to take that from strangers. I have lived my whole life portraying perfection on the outside when I am a complete mess on the inside. The safety of the anonimity here is both freeing and terrifying.


I can definitely relate. There are so many problems I'd like to share and get honest advice on, but I don't think I'm quite ready or brave enough. Maybe just one subject at a time..


----------



## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

Getting that honest advice hurts yet is so freeing once you do something with it 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

StoneAngel said:


> I have lived my whole life portraying perfection on the outside when I am a complete mess on the inside


Gosh i think we all feel that way from time to time.



Welcome to TAM stoneAngel!

I came here in a flood of tears ready to throw out my H for lying and keeping secrets from me.

A few posters were literally 'marriage savers' (pbear and therealbrighteyes and elegirl come to mind)

After nearly a year of being here I have come to realize he's a good man who did some stoooopid things and that we're ok...just need to keeping working on a few issues (don't we all!).

I keep coming back because i learn something about men and couples and marriage everytime I come here.

There are a few posters who are full of anger and resentments...but when you read their stories you can often understand why and your annoyance at them turns and softens.

For every bit of angst on here...there is twice as many cyber hugs and offers of support and advice.

Hope you enjoy your time on TAM


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

deejov said:


> I kept coming back because people were honest. Brutually honest. Told me what I needed to hear. That pushed me to do what I needed to do. More so than counselling did, because that was very "soft" in terms of "maybe you could consider doing A, B, C".
> 
> Certain members and the 2x4's. That's what kept me coming back.
> LOL


Same here.

I came here a year ago (different user name) and I got some brutal truth as well. Totally changed my life and my marriage.

I got more here than I was getting in counseling.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sometimes the issues are so many and so big that it's hard to write/talk about it all. Maybe starting with small things or individual issues would help you get started here.


----------



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

1)It opened me up to much more than just my narrow minded view of the problems in our marriage.
2) It kind of feels like free therapy many (many) times.
3) its a place I can vent & complain about hubby in a open way.. That I don't have to curb my feelings because of fear of what I say getting back to him.
4) I have taken many advices to heart & it really has helped improve our marriage. 
5) or at least improve my patience with hubby.
6) it feels good to give other people advice too.


----------



## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

It IS free therapy. These people have helped me beyond belief. I come to them for every little problem now, because they're so helpful! I love the TONS of different views I get on something. The members are generally respectful.

What brought me here is.. My boyfriend was spending way too much time talking to some chick online, so I came and told my story. They gave their advice. I feel WAY better, because now he doesn't talk to her at all! WOOO!!!! 4 weeks now!!


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

My wife is also a member of the site but rarely posts anything. I guess I am the poster child.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've answered this so many times, I feel like a recurring broken record... 

I didn't come here due to marital problems outside of one crazy thing.... I had a sex drive increase -it was so strong, I wanted to find a good forum to sink my teeth into...otherwise I might have started going to porn sites (sounds awful I know).... just needed to post somewhere getting some feedback on what I was experiencing.... how normal it was... husband was slowing down it seemed when I felt like I was just getting started.... We worked through all of this and learned some great new things about ourselves in the process.... he's known about my posting here since day 1.... I shared every reply with him -about "our little dilemma" - me wanting him to be more aggressive in bed...

He knows I am a born writer / expressor -forums have always been a joy to be...I've been to many over the years....

One day he offered to take the plunge & make his own account here... he rarely posts, but sticks his head in once in a while....I bounce many things off of him -that I read here .... being a SAHM, life is a bit uneventful, so forum chatter is kinda entertaining...for me. Beats soap operas or Talk radio.. that is what I used to do in my spare time.

I've always been a Psychology Nut anyway...have read tons of books over the years, I enjoy many of the subjects discussed here. 

I have found TAM to be the forum with the most articulate posters- who really take the time to share their stories & offer creative help, even compassion ... dissecting issues, they allow links/ photos for further reading.... all of this greatly appeals to me for someone who has always enjoyed the forum atmosphere . 

TAM rocks !!


----------



## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

waiwera said:


> Gosh i think we all feel that way from time to time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks so much for the Welcome


----------

