# Feeling down



## shockwave (Jan 26, 2020)

My baby just turned 4 months old and my husband proposed a trial separation. I didn't see it coming. Trying to stay sane for my new born and my 5 years old


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I'm sorry that you are here @shockwave.

Has your husband said why he wants a "trial separation"? Is he still living in the house? Just a warning, people are going to assume there is another woman in the picture.

A "trial" separation is a load of BS, though. You cannot fix marital problems while being separated.

Do you have friends or family to turn to for support?


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## shockwave (Jan 26, 2020)

I'm very sorry for myself too. It just happened 2 weeks ago and I'm still trying to process the information. I asked him if he wanted me to move out but he said no. Im overseas visiting my family at the moment so don't know if he has moved out or not. We have been exchanging emails and he insisted on moving forward with the separation. Not sure how he wants to do it since we have 2 little ones. I have not told anyone yet because we are a picture of happiness and success ; (. He said he has been unhappy for the last 6 years. We just celebrated our 13th anniversary.


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## shockwave (Jan 26, 2020)

He doesn't want to fix problems. He just wants to try it out for a few months to see if he is happier being single.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Do NOT move out.

Do you know why your husband has been unhappy for so long? If he hasn't filled you in on that, do you have any suspicions on why he was unhappy for so long? The answer to that question may help determine if things are salvageable or not.

Are there cultural reasons not to tell your family? If not, please, talk to your family if they are able to be supportive. You do not need to be ashamed about divorce and you need support. A lot of couples look like they have it all together and are the perfect picture of a happy marriage, most of the time that couldn't be further from the truth.

When will you be home from visiting your family?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

shockwave said:


> He doesn't want to fix problems. He just wants to try it out for a few months to see if he is happier being single.


So he can date around?

Otherwise this makes little sense.

What do you think the problems in the marriage that might of led to this?

What kind of husband was he?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Sounds like he found a girlfriend while you were out of town.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I am afraid that his excuse of 'being unhappy for 6 years' is often the sort of thing that is said to justify an affair. I am so sorry, how crappy he is being with a new baby on the scene as well. If he was so unhappy then why did he agree to have children? Why did he choose just after you had a baby to announce this? What appalling and cruel timing. 

Do NOT agree to move out, and I agree with others that a trial separation is just nonsense. He wants out and its likely that he has another lady sadly. 
Men don't usually leave one relationship for no reason unless they have another in the wings, they like their home comforts too much. 
Please get some good legal advise to see where you stand as far as him supporting you and your 2 small children.


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

He wants out?
HE MOVES OUT.
End of story. Do not disrupt the lives of yourself and your small children because he is acting so badly.
I won't tell you what I suspect.
If this is the first news of his "unhappiness" I wouldn't hang around waiting for him to come back. He's rewriting your marriage history to excuse himself from responsibility.
Inform your family, and his family.
Make him move out
Consult a lawyer, if only to protect yourself and your children with KNOWLEDGE so that he cannot fill your brain with untrue facts. The first 30-60 minutes is often free of charge. And it doesn't mean you are getting divorced, it means you are informing yourself of your RIGHTS as a parent in a developing situation.


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