# Cheaters down the road...



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Let's say a cheater doesn't face enough consequences, or walks all over their WS, and then winds up with the AP. 

Time passes. Months, years. 

The wild pack of lies and justifications.. do they even remember them with any clarity? They probably don't care if they are happy in their new relationship. But do they continue to think they are good people? You know, in those private moments alone. It seems like they hold a new reality, one in which "life is complicated" or some vague notion like that.


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## botti (May 28, 2014)

I think there are two types of cheaters. 

One type does it because they can. They never stop to consider whether or not they are a good person because it would never occur to them to care. They don't think about the affair. They have theirs. You worry about yours.

The other type...has issues. Addiction, emotional or mental problems, unresolved family or relationship issues, abuse, or maybe just something as simple as being emotionally stunted. They arrange their memories to support whatever reality they need at that moment.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Maybe some do. Maybe some don't.
It's up to the individual.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

The cheaters I have known are justifiers. They always have a reason why it was ok to lie and cheat. That trait in people alone makes me sick that they can't take personal accountability. So I don't think they ever feel bad about what they have done. Not in their DNA


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

I know a woman that cheated on her fiance with her current husband, and they often tell the cheating story at parties. Kind of an "it was meant to be" story. Destiny brought them together, and an obstacle like planning a wedding with another guy wouldn't stop them...ugh.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

ReidWright said:


> I know a woman that cheated on her fiance with her current husband, and they often tell the cheating story at parties. Kind of an "it was meant to be" story. Destiny brought them together, and an obstacle like planning a wedding with another guy wouldn't stop them...ugh.


Yeah I'll be honest. I would tell them both they are terrible people and hold on for the karma bus. It's a coming


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

botti said:


> I think there are two types of cheaters.
> 
> One type does it because they can. They never stop to consider whether or not they are a good person because it would never occur to them to care. They don't think about the affair. They have theirs. You worry about yours.
> 
> The other type...has issues. Addiction, emotional or mental problems, unresolved family or relationship issues, abuse, or maybe just something as simple as being emotionally stunted. They arrange their memories to support whatever reality they need at that moment.


Completely agree with this. Any cheater I know fits one of these two categories.


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## OpenEnded (Jul 30, 2012)

of course "Life is not all black and white". "Do not judge." without "the other side of the story." "Only time will tell." 
"It is all fair in love". And the BS "had it coming" and "deserved their fate". "If the BS was ..... enough this would not be happening". "It feels so good it can't be wrong." "I have always been true to my feelings and myself" etc. bla bla


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

botti said:


> I think there are two types of cheaters.
> 
> .


_"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”_ --Tom Robbins, _Still Life with Woodpecker_


That being said, few people will be the villain in their story when they tell the story... if you know what I mean?


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

Well my ex said she does not feel guilty because our relationship was over when she cheated so it was not technically cheating. Convenient-----funny thing is due to her saying that she is responsible for half the family debt at the time she left so karma is a ***** for her.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

TimeHeals said:


> That being said, few people will be the villain in their story when they tell the story... if you know what I mean?


:iagree:

I heard thru the grapevine, so I don't know who true this is, that the XW told poeple that she was the victim, and never mentioned that she cheated.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

ReidWright said:


> I know a woman that cheated on her fiance with her current husband, and they often tell the cheating story at parties. Kind of an "it was meant to be" story. Destiny brought them together, and an obstacle like planning a wedding with another guy wouldn't stop them...ugh.


That's romantic, it'd be even more romantic if on the day of the wedding, the old fiance comes storming in, and she runs off with him.. but then comes back to the husband, and eventually cheats with fiance guy.. then the husband again.

My MIL decades later still adds to the gas lighting of her husband.. she's added that he gambled, cheated on her and a few other gems.. As her senility sets in deeper, she'll eventually have him raping and killing babies, that's why she had to leave him, and her KISA POSOM, that she married, saved her from his evil ways. It worked out great for everyone, just like in the romance novels she used to read all the time while her daughters cooked and cleaned.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Yes, OP this is what my X thinks exactly. He is just a wonderful person who did something wrong for a time (cheating on me constantly for 12 years). SMH.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

botti said:


> I think there are two types of cheaters.
> 
> One type does it because they can. They never stop to consider whether or not they are a good person because it would never occur to them to care. They don't think about the affair. They have theirs. You worry about yours.
> 
> The other type...has issues. Addiction, emotional or mental problems, unresolved family or relationship issues, abuse, or maybe just something as simple as being emotionally stunted.* They arrange their memories to support whatever reality they need at that moment*.


:iagree::iagree: Exactly.


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## botti (May 28, 2014)

TimeHeals said:


> _"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.”_ --Tom Robbins, _Still Life with Woodpecker_
> 
> 
> That being said, few people will be the villain in their story when they tell the story... if you know what I mean?


Too funny.


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