# Just found a picture of them kissing on facebook



## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

We are not even separated yet and there is a picture of him and this girl kissing. Mind you she is also a mutual friend. They have had an EA for years. Now its physical. The same suit he wore with her the other night when she was all over him in the pic was the same suit he wore to my daughters Father/ Daughter dance the following day.

I don't know how to handle this. It's public now to all my friends and family.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Hopelessus said:


> We are not even separated yet and there is a picture of him and this girl kissing. Mind you she is also a mutual friend. They have had an EA for years. Now its physical. The same suit he wore with her the other night when she was all over him in the pic was the same suit he wore to my daughters Father/ Daughter dance the following day.
> 
> I don't know how to handle this. It's public now to all my friends and family.


*Ms. Hope: He apparently is flaunting her in your face and doesn't even give a tinker's damn as to whether you know about it or not! He already innately knows 'that the end of your relationship is fastly on the horizon!

Do "the 180" on him and promptly get yourself to a good family attorney's office, one who literally has piranha tactics in the courtroom, and file on his cheating ass! Take his sorry, good-for-nothing ass to the cleaners!

As an afterthought, you might want to get checked out by your MD for the possible presence of STD's!*


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I am beginning to see that I have to be more aggressive. I told myself I need to have more respect for myself. I just didn't expect to be bombarded with all of this. It's emotionally hard to keep up with this s**t. Sorry. I want to serve him. I want this to be over. But somehow I feel like its going to be the same only with legal paperwork. I guess that will help financially, but I don't want to see hi lying cheating ass ever again. Unfortunatley I don't have a choice bc we have kids.


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## BurningHeart (Dec 30, 2012)

How can you even see this? Being Facebook friends with your ex should be the first thing to go, when you get divorced or separated. They will advertise how happy they pretend to be with posts and pictures. They all need to go, out of sight, out of mind..


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Yes, it's time to stand up for yourself. Keep it together and don't be aggressive out of anger, but out of self respect. He has publicly disrespected you, your marriage, and your kids. For that, he should pay. And he will .... if you take action now! Take a screenshot of the FB posting now!


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

A good phrase to repeat to yourself is "what is my goal?" 

Yes, he embarrassed you, he disrespected you. But what you want is to be free of him, and you already knew that, so this should only make you more resolute in acting. You'll never craft a perfect revenge that will perfectly satisfy you. Or really, the perfect revenge is to get free of him and live a good life without him. Obviously you'll never be completely free of him, as long as you have to raise kids, but you'll be free in the sense that you won't feel emotionally invested in him and you'll be able to move on. I know that's a long way off now, but you'll get there.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

It looks as though you're seeing his true colours now. What he did is beyond low. He probably thinks he's a genius. 

I agree with filing ASAP. If possible use the crap he's decided to "publish" against him.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

My heart breaks for you. Please have him served. Sure, it won't make the hurt go away, but at least you can get some temporary $ orders in place for you and the kids.

I'm sorry you saw that picture.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Look at it this way: to anyone who cares about YOU (your family, friends, etc.) how do you think that looks to them? Do you think that anyone who really cares about you is going to think "Oh my god, she is totally humiliated lol!" NO. They are going to think "what an *******, showing off his new piece when they aren't even separated!"


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Everything all of you said is true. My first concern is my kids. I don't want them around someone that is like that. Second I only thought keeping them as friends on facebook would catch them saying or posting things that help my case. Third, I need the money period.
I am so lucky my co-worker actually saw this bc it was her idea to take pics. My mind was in another place.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Have you spoken to a lawyer about it? In a lot of jurisdictions, you might be wasting your effort trying to "catch" him, as it may not ultimately affect things much. I mean, save the pictures, but when the dust settles it may not matter a lot. I also don't think adultery alone is going to prevent him from getting to see his own children, but I wouldn't even worry about that right now. I wouldn't focus on trying to make sure he doesn't see the kids unless he's dangerous to them. Worry about custody/visitation when you get to that bridge.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Hopelessus said:


> Everything all of you said is true. My first concern is my kids. I don't want them around someone that is like that. Second I only thought keeping them as friends on facebook would catch them saying or posting things that help my case. Third, I need the money period.
> I am so lucky my co-worker actually saw this bc it was her idea to take pics. My mind was in another place.


I can totally understand why you wouldn't want your kids around someone like that, but unfortunately I think you won't have a say in the matter. He will get to see them some and may have this POSOW with him.

If it were me, I would be tempted to tell the kids about this other woman so that they don't want to blame me for their parent's divorce. I'm sure that isn't the way to go, but God! how can you not??


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It's unfortunate he chose to do that but not surprising. Cheaters are obviously focused on themselves and not on their families. 

Now you know what he's capable of so it's time to focus on what's best for you and your children.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Time to let your lawyer know that his antiquated "wait to file" advice is no longer acceptable. File those papers so you can get the ball rolling on the financial support you need for your children.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Thank you.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

Unfriend him. Get off of FB for a while. Get yourself in a good place again by doing things you love and with ppl that love you. Be aggressive with proceeding with the divorce. YOU CAN DO THIS. A self respecting mother doing her own is way hotter than some desperate ****.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I have been holding back. He was pushing to get things started. He would call constantly, text and e-mail. He wanted to work with a mediator we had previously seen. I wanted to know my legal rights first. After him pushing so hard I finally found a lawyer and got some legal advice. It wasn't free. Now he is dawdling bc he says he cn't pay for it and needs to find a 0% credit card to pay. Meanwhile I am shelling out money. After finding the picture I took pictures of it and was able to save it on the computer to show lawyer. It doesn't matter. The lawyer its not illegal for him to do that. My family and friends saw that. I don't know where he thinks I am getting thousands of dollars for a separation or divorce. I am going to start selling things in my house. I am going to get my wedding ring appraised and get this thing going. I just asked me to tell me what is special to him in the house that he would rather not sell. He just said his stuff. What a dope.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Hopelessus said:


> I have been holding back. He was pushing to get things started. He would call constantly, text and e-mail. He wanted to work with a mediator we had previously seen. I wanted to know my legal rights first. After him pushing so hard I finally found a lawyer and got some legal advice. It wasn't free. Now he is dawdling bc he says he cn't pay for it and needs to find a 0% credit card to pay. Meanwhile I am shelling out money. After finding the picture I took pictures of it and was able to save it on the computer to show lawyer. It doesn't matter. The lawyer its not illegal for him to do that. My family and friends saw that. I don't know where he thinks I am getting thousands of dollars for a separation or divorce. I am going to start selling things in my house. I am going to get my wedding ring appraised and get this thing going. I just asked me to tell me what is special to him in the house that he would rather not sell. He just said his stuff. What a dope.


Do what you have to do. You need to support yourself & your kids. If it means you have to sell stuff in the house including your wedding ring, so be it. His quest for a 0% credit card is an excuse & a way to stall things. Gather your coins from the things you sell & serve him. Take your power back, you got this!


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

Hopeless, I read your story and I feel for you. You'll get out of limbo, I know it! Remember one thing about Facebook. People only post what they want others to see. You don't know what his life is like now. It can be a total mess. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be with a cheater?

But that isn't where your mind should be. Remember the 180? Are you doing it? You want to get to indifference. The 180 will help with that. Start not caring. Pretend that it was ancient history. Let the legal stuff play out on it's own. It will be hard but start thinking about yourself and do things that make you happy.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Hopelessus said:


> I am going to start selling things in my house. I am going to get my wedding ring appraised and get this thing going. I just asked me to tell me what is special to him in the house that he would rather not sell. He just said his stuff. What a dope.


Your response:
"Really? Extremely vague. Ok, then, I'm just going to start selling whatever is here so I can pay for the lawyer. Whatever it sells for, I'll make sure you get half of the proceeds once the divorce is done."


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You could remind him that everything purchased during the marriage is marital property, belonging to both of you... 

C


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## Monty4321 (Jul 15, 2011)

It sucks terribly to see that. But you have to accept that he's moved on. It's on facebook, but don't worry what everyone else thinks. Make plans for yourself.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

I know this doesn't take the sting away from what you are dealing with but take away this nugget.

The deck is HUGELY stacked against him and her from having a meaningful relationship. Affair relationships are not based on foundation and crumble almost always. Have patience as what is happening between will implode eventually.

Evenutally reality will set into her head and she'll start wondering if he's doing the same thing to her. 

Protect yourself, your dignity, and your kids. It will be tough road but you can do it.


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

Tough times, OP.

You don't need anyone like this! You want, need, and DESERVE someone who will treat you with dignity and respect.

Ditch his AZZ, go through the pain (that is inevitable), and get on with a HAPPY, rewarding life.

Pretty simple, when you really think about it....


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

turnera said:


> Your response:
> "Really? Extremely vague. Ok, then, I'm just going to start selling whatever is here so I can pay for the lawyer. Whatever it sells for, I'll make sure you get half of the proceeds once the divorce is done."


ABSOLUTELY!

We've all heard the stories (true or not) about betrayed spouses selling Corvettes for five thousand bucks.....

Be like Nike....Just DO It!!


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

lonelyhusband321 said:


> ABSOLUTELY!
> 
> We've all heard the stories (true or not) about betrayed spouses selling Corvettes for five thousand bucks.....
> 
> Be like Nike....Just DO It!!


Although it may feel good, if you undersell an asset you actually hurt yourself too. 

I saw this with behavior with old neighbor and both regretted it. Lawyer and all the scorched earth mentality hurt them big time in long run.

My advice to anyone when breaking a relationship is do everything you can to stay rational. You'll thank yourself later....


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

No, I think she should sell the stuff for as much as she can get. She needs the money to divorce him.

I did have a neighbor with 6 kids, whose husband was cheating; she kicked him out and filed for divorce. She threw a garage sale so we went to see what she had. She was selling all HIS stuff. Golf clubs for $50. Patio set for $40. Barbecue pit for $25. And so on - pennies on the dollar. Someone must have called him because he came flying up in his car as we were standing there, and people were loading all his stuff on their trucks and started screaming at her. She just shrugged and said something like 'shoulda kept your d*ck in your pants.' He drove away.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Whoa slow your roll, OP. Wouldn't there be legal implications for selling his stuff w/out an equitable division of property by the court? Have you talked to your lawyer about that?

I realize you said you're selling your stuff and you asked him about his stuff. Sure, sell your stuff all you want, but tread very carefully when it comes to his stuff. You could be in a world of trouble if you do that. I could see where you sold something you thought was yours and he puts up a fuss saying it was either his or joint property w/in the marriage.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Nobody is saying she's going to sell his stuff and keep the money. She's VERY AWARE that she has to split the sale 50/50. But she doesn't even have enough money to HIRE a lawyer let alone pay for one because he took all the money with him. We've all told her to sell what she needs and keep very accurate records of it and hand those records over to the lawyer for when the assets are split.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

turnera said:


> Nobody is saying she's going to sell his stuff and keep the money. She's VERY AWARE that she has to split the sale 50/50. But she doesn't even have enough money to HIRE a lawyer let alone pay for one because he took all the money with him. We've all told her to sell what she needs and keep very accurate records of it and hand those records over to the lawyer for when the assets are split.


I understand all of this. There is nothing above I wasn't aware of. I didn't say she was going to keep the money, either. I just think she should use caution. I've seen far too many scenarios just like this and the outcome was horrible. I just want her to be careful and not shoot herself in the foot. She has got to walk that legal line 100%.

OP, is there a legal aid clinic where you live? Or a law school that helps those who can't afford legal representation?


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I visited the lawyer last week. He said I can only sell my possessions. If need be I can get his old credit card purchases. We will see. Every time I think I shouldn't do anything like serve him or ask for money for the kids or household problems I feel bad. He acts so nice about everything which of course makes me feel worse. I have to make myself remember what he actually did to me and my kids. I began counseling for them because they are asking questions that are hard for me to answer. We alternate between taking my daughter Saturday mornings. She has never mentioned or asked him anything about the situation. Now he will see what's on her mind. 
As far as money I am serving him just for child support next week. I was worried about the house. The lawyer said because the mortgage is not in my name I am not responsible to pay it. If he chooses not to pay it , it would take 3 years to foreclose. It would ruin his credit. I have to do what I have to do.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How can you say he acts nice when he has taken all the money?


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

John Lee said:


> Look at it this way: to anyone who cares about YOU (your family, friends, etc.) how do you think that looks to them? Do you think that anyone who really cares about you is going to think "Oh my god, she is totally humiliated lol!" NO. They are going to think "what an *******, showing off his new piece when they aren't even separated!"



Yes that's right. 

Most decent human being will think that he's a lowly scum, no consideration to his wife n kid. most will condemn them both to h**ll. No one will say or think bad of you. 

JuSt be strong for the children. Your children will grow up one day n when they are adults, they will see their father as what he is. N then he will get his bad karma. While u can bathe in glory n adoration of your precious children then. 

Go file the divorce n make sure u get every penny u can for alimony n support. 

ThEn go work out N live well eat well n make sure u look a million bucks gorgeous n he can regret what he will miss. N u can then wait for a better person to come along.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I keep reminding myself of the horrible thing he has done to me and my kids. I am trying to be civil. My emotions are getting the best of me. I am trying to hide it from the kids..I have allergies and such. I am def. spoiling my kids right now. Is that a good thing?


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> If it were me, I would be tempted to tell the kids about this other woman so that they don't want to blame me for their parent's divorce. I'm sure that isn't the way to go, but God! how can you not??


I seriously hate when people give advice like this.

You should NEVER involve kids unnecessary in adult divorce drama. It is akin to child abuse. The children have enough issues transitioning after divorce, they don't need a bitter ex-spouse trashing their other parent.

Children are biologically half of each parent...so when you trash the other parent, you trash the kid. They internalize that by feeling bad about themselves.

And no parent has a right to ruin the child's right to a relationship with their other parent. 

I really have a huge issue with people who use the kids to get revenge on the other spouse...its extremely stupid and cruel to kids who aren't involved in the marriage. People who give this kind of advice have never read any research on this topic and clearly don't give a crap about the kids.

The OP has every right to be furious about her husband betraying her and being tasteless about how he handles his new romantic attachment. But she doesn't have the right to use the kids as weapons against him. And thankfully it sounds like she loves her kids way too much to engage in this kind of nonsense.

Hopelessus, I'm very sorry about how tastelessly your stbx handled the dissolution of your marriage. You sound like a really strong woman and I hope you and your children make it through this without too much trauma. I know its tough to imagine now but it really does get better with time. Take care of yourself.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

EnigmaGirl said:


> I seriously hate when people give advice like this.
> 
> You should NEVER involve kids unnecessary in adult divorce drama. It is akin to child abuse. The children have enough issues transitioning after divorce, they don't need a bitter ex-spouse trashing their other parent.
> 
> ...


I agree with this, but only to a point. I see importance in telling age-appropriate children why 'daddy/or mommy left us' if the scenario fits. Kids can blame themselves for the divorce for not having enough information, too, especially older children. There doesn't have to be specific info, it could be something along the lines of, 'Your dad/mom made a promise to me, a very important promise, not to have other girl/boyfriends. S/he broke that promise, and that is why we are divorcing.'

Or you don't even have to get that detailed. But I do think it's important to be honest with age-appropriate children. I think it'll give them a huge lesson in morality, and how to treat their future partners.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> Kids can blame themselves for the divorce for not having enough information, too, especially older children.


I never said you shouldn't have a conversation with the kids and emphasize to them that the divorce is due to issues between mom and dad and not their fault...only that its completely wrong to do anything that sabotages how they identify with or feel about the other parent.

Marriages fail, divorce happens but hopefully, for the sake of these children, both of these people will continue to be parents. It is a very bad investment in the emotional health and well-being of these children to involve them in nonsense they don't need to be involved in. They'll have enough to deal with.

There's plenty of ways to teach children about morality that doesn't involve potentially trashing their relationship with the other parent.

Someone has to be above the dirt here...clearly the father isn't thinking about the kids enough to do it...so hopefully their mom loves them enough to do so.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I certainly hope so too.


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## KingwoodKev (Jan 15, 2015)

Hopelessus said:


> We are not even separated yet and there is a picture of *him and this girl kissing. Mind you she is also a mutual friend.* They have had an EA for years. Now its physical. The same suit he wore with her the other night when she was all over him in the pic was the same suit he wore to my daughters Father/ Daughter dance the following day.
> 
> I don't know how to handle this. It's public now to all my friends and family.


You're mistaken. She's definitely not a mutual friend. A friend would not snake your man.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> I agree with this, but only to a point. I see importance in telling age-appropriate children why 'daddy/or mommy left us' if the scenario fits. Kids can blame themselves for the divorce for not having enough information, too, especially older children. There doesn't have to be specific info, it could be something along the lines of, 'Your dad/mom made a promise to me, a very important promise, not to have other girl/boyfriends. S/he broke that promise, and that is why we are divorcing.'
> 
> Or you don't even have to get that detailed. But I do think it's important to be honest with age-appropriate children. I think it'll give them a huge lesson in morality, and how to treat their future partners.


I think the children will know anyway .

if the father can post on facebook so blatantly , he will intro the woman very soon to the children and show PDA . there is nothing the children will not know .

in my case , my ex hit me infront of my kids , I had to deal with the the questions they ask me . so I had to tell them the issues we had , and I answered every questions they asked me when I finally divorce ex . and told them what was wrong and right . minus adult details . is that wrong n damaging to my kids ?

But I thought it's worse if I don't answer and their minds wonder n arrive at their own conclusions which may be wrong .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Hopelessus

let me share a story I was told by my good friend when I first exposed my story to her .

she told live well eat well bring up the kids well .

her aunt was left behind with 4 kids when H ran off with a younger woman.

het aunt had to bear with anger n hatred n feed 4 children single handedly . yet had to see the useless father of children take kids out on sat n spoil them with fancy dinners and buying big toys yet refusing to give monetary support . when kids were adults , they understood everything . they got married and didn't invite father to wedding dinner . they just had the mum there only .

I am sorry to say that I agree with co parenting as far as both parties do their due diligence and duties . 

otherwise , I would not encourage my children to honour the father as they should a father . reap what you sow is my motto .


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

EnigmaGirl said:


> I seriously hate when people give advice like this.
> 
> You should NEVER involve kids unnecessary in adult divorce drama. It is akin to child abuse. The children have enough issues transitioning after divorce, they don't need a bitter ex-spouse trashing their other parent.
> 
> Children are biologically half of each parent...so when you trash the other parent, you trash the kid. They internalize that by feeling bad about themselves.



Its not trashing the other parent by simply telling them the truth.

I won't tell my kids there probably wasn't a year go by that their mother didn't cheat on me.

But if they ever ask, I'm going to tell them the truth. Not going to call their mother names to them, not going to go ballistic in my explanation. Simply that their mother was unfaithful throughout the marriage.....and leave it at that. And again, ONLY if they ask. I'm not going to shove it in their faces.




> And no parent has a right to ruin the child's right to a relationship with their other parent.


I agree. But telling the truth has nothing to do with this and only if the kids ask.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

Thank you for the advice. I do not sabotage their father. I do not use the kids as a weapon. They would not solve anything and I am happy he still wants to be a part of their lives. I know eventually that will fade. I do not want to deprive the kids being with him either. He did go out with my kids , his fling and her daughter. I hope HER HUSBAND knows whats going on. My kids have asked questions. They are 6 and 8. It is really hard to explain things to them. I give simple answers. Like once mommy and daddy got along and now they don't. Daddy lives at his house, where you visit and we live at our house. Unless they have complicated questions, as they have begun to have, I don't think I should offer much up. But I know from experience children will not always speak their minds but rather hold it all in. I can see that n my daughter. Her grades have gone way down since the beginning of the year. I started counseling for both.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Hopelessus said:


> Thank you for the advice. I do not sabotage their father. I do not use the kids as a weapon. They would not solve anything and I am happy he still wants to be a part of their lives. I know eventually that will fade. I do not want to deprive the kids being with him either. He did go out with my kids , his fling and her daughter. I hope HER HUSBAND knows whats going on. My kids have asked questions. They are 6 and 8. It is really hard to explain things to them. I give simple answers. Like once mommy and daddy got along and now they don't. Daddy lives at his house, where you visit and we live at our house. Unless they have complicated questions, as they have begun to have, I don't think I should offer much up. But I know from experience children will not always speak their minds but rather hold it all in. I can see that n my daughter. Her grades have gone way down since the beginning of the year. I started counseling for both.


He is such a F**king A** for taking your kids out n introducing the OW n her kids !!!!!

I don't think there is anything wrong to explain to kids that what the dad did and is doing is wrong. They need a compass for bearing . They need to know that the father cheated , is wrong , and to intro the OW is wrong . Otherwise , they may think that is the norm .

that is my opinion .

I explain to my boys that the father hit me n it's wrong so that's why the divorce . I explain that the father gets into debt n let the mother pay is irresponsible . I explain that the father doesn't feed me n children is irresponsible .

I believe that if my children doesn't have a good father figure to learn from , at least , they can learn what is a bad example of a bad father figure and what is wrong n what they should not do when they are fathers themselves . 

My children's grades didn't suffer at all . In fact , they understand my hardship to earn n feed them , and they became more independent and more motivated to do well , so as to have a better future .

but of course , all this comes with educating the children . I explain n explain so that is all ingrained in them that they and I got to cooperate and be strong .

Hopelessus !!!! You got to be strong !!!! It is not easy now as it is all very fresh I know . I showed my kids I am strong but I hid in the toilet n cried under the bath water . but still they heard me cry and tried to console me . but now , we are all much better . our strength n resilience showing up .

just move each day forward to make it better , knowing that one day you will arrive . just keep telling yourself . 

meantime , take stock of what you need to do to move forward , like job , kids , homework for children .

one more thing , I never change the way I treat my kids before or after the divorce . I am still mum . homework got to still be done , rules are to be followed . I run the house n kids the same way , no discount given despite the divorce . I thought I may be too harsh but I later read up n I realsie that I did the right thing to maintain law and order n structure so the children know that they cant get away by wallowing in self pity or whatever . 

life goes on despite difficulties . That is what I believe I have taught them .

Where I had lost my cool and yelled at them under stress , I apologise and explain and ask for forgiveness and they forgave n understood . Now I don't do that anymore . I guess they also learn social skills from this .


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

The only thing that is consoling me right now is the fact I may get child support. Sorry but haha to him. I need it plus I think it's only fair for both kids and me. 
The other thing that brings a difference to my life right now is that I am more relaxed at home. My kids don't have the anxiety and anger they had before. It's a much more stable environment for them and me.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

Money doesn't solve everything. Most men rather be okay and happy with a woman than rich and miserable with a woman. Yes, you can take him to the 'cleaners' or dry him for every dollar of child support you can get, but what does that solve at the end of the day for yourself? 

In your case, I agree that you should get everything you can out of the divorce settlement; however, you need to think about yourself. 

(1) Block both him and her and anyone close to them off of facebook
(2) Never speak to him again unless it concerns the children
(3) Work on yourself: get into shape, get moving, get your mind back into shape
(4) When the time is right, find a man that is better looking than your ex and better overall

I don't agree that it is wise to get your children involved. He is their parent to. If he wants to bring them around the OW, he can do as he pleases. The minute you start belittling him about his children, YOU LOSE. The children need to learn that mom and dad are no longer together and dad is seeing someone else. It is what it is. Welcome to 2015. Everyone is doing it.


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

I also don't think they should think its alright for daddy to be with another woman when they call me mommy. They will grow up thinking its ok to be with other people when you are married


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

get a lawyer

you should get alimony and support .

meantime make sure you hold up well so he will not have an excuse to get full custody n save on support .

also , in my case , I manage to put into custody agreement that we should not expose our kids to any third party for a period of time .


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