# How normal is it...



## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

For a guy not to orgasm? My husband and I have what I would consider a good sex life. We have sex pretty much every day. If I have to average, I would say 5-7 times s week is the normal. But sometimes when we are having “normal” sex (what we joking call having sex instead of us pleasing each other orally, hand jobs, etc.), he can’t orgasm. It happens about 1x month maybe. It always leaves me feeling a little crappy but I don’t want to harp on it because I don’t want it to become a real problem like where he has to worry about having an orgasm or not. 

When it happens, he’s happy as long as I am happy, but I guess I feel the same way like I want to be happy. I obviously don’t have the equipment so I am wondering how normal it was for guys?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think it happens to everyone sometimes. I wouldn't worry as long as most of the time you are both happy and satisfied then I'd say you are pretty lucky.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

this happens more as I get older or if I have a few beers in me.

But it dosen't bother me because I know she getting a good ride


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

I can't say I have ever had the problem, but I also am not getting lovin' 5-7 times a week!


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> this happens more as I get older or if I have a few beers in me.
> 
> But it dosen't bother me because I know she getting a good ride


We did have a few glasses of wine last night. He is 38. I cant remember if the other times, we had been drinking or not.



> I can't say I have ever had the problem, but I also am not getting lovin' 5-7 times a week!


Lol...It almost seems like the minute I hit my mid 30s, my libido went through the roof. It used to be 3-4 times a week and then my libido went crazy. Hubby is not complaining..lol..


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Just curious, but what ends things then? Do you guys get bored, sore, tired? Does he lose his erection?

For some reason, with my current GF, it just takes me longer to climax with her than I remember with anyone else. And she's the best lover, most beautiful, etc partner that I've ever had. There's been no complaints from her about how long it takes me, but I dont really try for seconds very often just because I think it would take too long. Possibly leaving her sore, even with lube. 

Back to your original post... I wouldn't worry about it if it only happens occasionally. But like you, I feel like I didn't do my part if my GF didn't orgasm, even on days that are just for me. . But I would be more than happy to help her have an orgasm and forego my own occasionally, if it came down to that. I'd like to think that for both of us, the fact that we're as much into the others pleasure as our own makes us a "better" lover.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

HaHa said:


> For a guy not to orgasm? My husband and I have what I would consider a good sex life. We have sex pretty much every day. If I have to average, I would say 5-7 times s week is the normal. But sometimes when we are having “normal” sex (what we joking call having sex instead of us pleasing each other orally, hand jobs, etc.), he can’t orgasm. It happens about 1x month maybe. It always leaves me feeling a little crappy but I don’t want to harp on it because I don’t want it to become a real problem like where he has to worry about having an orgasm or not.
> 
> When it happens, he’s happy as long as I am happy, but I guess I feel the same way like I want to be happy. I obviously don’t have the equipment so I am wondering how normal it was for guys?


It's happened to me on occasion- usually if I've already had an O recently. 

The main question is- do you have to orgasm every time to have a good sex life? I think not


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

Yeah - it happens from time to time. If you make a big deal about - then it might become a big deal for him too.

I think there's something to be said here about men/women communication. Ladies, if we say something, we often times actually mean it. I'm not trying to be a jerk here or anything but with my wife, she 'imagines' a lot of issues that aren;t really there . . . in a loving way to make sure things are fine. Like climaxings only 29 out of 30 times/month is not a bad thing.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

That happens to me occasionally. Especially first thing in the morning. I don't mind as long as she's having fun.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

on the flip side, there's been more times my wife hasn't reached climax than when I can't, so there's that. She more than makes up for it by having intense multiple O's.

Bottom line is that sometimes mood, or soreness, stress, or whatever inhibits the ability to come to a climax, you're having sex 20-30 times a month and if he can't come once a month then that's not a big deal.


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

PBear said:


> Just curious, but what ends things then? Do you guys get bored, sore, tired? Does he lose his erection?
> 
> For some reason, with my current GF, it just takes me longer to climax with her than I remember with anyone else. And she's the best lover, most beautiful, etc partner that I've ever had. There's been no complaints from her about how long it takes me, but I dont really try for seconds very often just because I think it would take too long. Possibly leaving her sore, even with lube.
> 
> ...


He doesnt lose his erection all the way, but I can kind of tell because its not as hard. I know what it feels like when he is about to orgasm and its doesnt even feel close. When I feel that, I generally ask him if he wants me to finsh him off some other way like by hand or mouth or is it a no-go. If he says no-go, then we normally just go to sleep or move on with our day.



> Yeah - it happens from time to time. If you make a big deal about - then it might become a big deal for him too.
> 
> I think there's something to be said here about men/women communication. Ladies, if we say something, we often times actually mean it. I'm not trying to be a jerk here or anything but with my wife, she 'imagines' a lot of issues that aren;t really there . . . in a loving way to make sure things are fine. Like climaxings only 29 out of 30 times/month is not a bad thing.


I really havent said anything at all to him about it because I dont want him to think that I am thinking about hence the reason I am asking here instead of asking him


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

PBear said:


> Just curious, but what ends things then? Do you guys get bored, sore, tired? Does he lose his erection?
> 
> For some reason, with my current GF, it just takes me longer to climax with her than I remember with anyone else. And she's the best lover, most beautiful, etc partner that I've ever had. There's been no complaints from her about how long it takes me, but I dont really try for seconds very often just because I think it would take too long. Possibly leaving her sore, even with lube.
> 
> ...


I'm 45 and when it happens I usually get close a few times and then for whatever reason it just don't happen. and after I get too pooped to pop I just say its not going to happen and give up
I don't lose my erection I just get tired.




she feels a little disapointed and I reasure her that it must be my age.on a side note the next time my orgasm are much more powerfull than noemal.


alchol and pain meds both have this effect on me.

I don't take alchol and pain meds together just in case any body was wondering.


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

> she feels a little disapointed and I reasure her that it must be my age.on a side note the next time my orgasm are much more powerfull than noemal.



I think that is the case today since he didnt orgasm last night. He has already emailed me to see if I wanted to stop by our house before I go pick up our daughter. I think he must have something planned .


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## Closer (Jul 15, 2011)

PBear said:


> Just curious, but what ends things then? Do you guys get bored, sore, tired? Does he lose his erection?
> 
> For some reason, with my current GF, it just takes me longer to climax with her than I remember with anyone else. And she's the best lover, most beautiful, etc partner that I've ever had. There's been no complaints from her about how long it takes me, but I dont really try for seconds very often just because I think it would take too long. Possibly leaving her sore, even with lube.
> 
> ...



Very true. I think guys who are sincere about giving their women pleasure feel good when their women are sexually satisfied. It's all about giving and sharing instead of taking and demanding.

About the orgasm issue, it's pretty normal and it's actually a good thing that you have an active sex life in your relationship.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Closer said:


> Very true. I think guys who are sincere about giving their women pleasure feel good when their women are sexually satisfied. It's all about giving and sharing instead of taking and demanding.
> 
> About the orgasm issue, it's pretty normal and it's actually a good thing that you have an active sex life in your relationship.


I think it works both ways, not just for the guys feeling good about their women being satisfied. My GF is happy to have a day "about me", and for whatever reason, watching me have an orgasm seems to be her highlight of the day. Having a partner who is truly into your pleasure is a wonderful thing.

C


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## Closer (Jul 15, 2011)

PBear said:


> I think it works both ways, not just for the guys feeling good about their women being satisfied. My GF is happy to have a day "about me", and for whatever reason, watching me have an orgasm seems to be her highlight of the day. Having a partner who is truly into your pleasure is a wonderful thing.
> 
> C



Yeah, I also agree with women wanting to see their men orgasm. I used to think that if I can last longer, I would be a stud in her eyes.

There was a time when it was taking me longer to reach orgasm and I was thinking that it's really good.

But my girlfriend during that time begged me to blow my load on her but I couldn't.

Boy, I could feel her disappointment and it sucked.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Can't or won't? Sometimes when we have to do all the heavy lifting, that's all it is.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

I think its normal. Happens to me ever now and then. I'm 34. 

First thing in the morning I tend to be slow....super into sex, but slow to O. It can also happen if I am very tierd, worked out too hard, have negative crap on my mind, or had too much to drink.

Some drugs can cause me to have prolonged difficulty. SSRI's for example will render me completly unable to O, even through masterbation. I cannot take even the smallest dose of them without this issue.

No big deal though...I always try to get the wife off first anyway so sometimes I just have to give up. Does not happen more than once every 2-3 months anyway. And lately its because I drank too much....Im stupid


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