# looking for help on intimacy issues



## BobbyBrown6280 (Jan 2, 2012)

my wife was raped when she was young and it is causing intimacy issues in our marriage. she is never in the mood and when she it is very rare. is there any self help that can be done to help re-spark the fire. any advice will help.

thanks
Bobby


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

how about ic and cc for her and both of you.
that has to be a very rough thing for her, sorry to hear that.
i think being patient and something i learned recently the hard way, show her that she is sexy and desired by you outside of the bedroom with no expectations. be patient, im sure that is a heavy burden for her.


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## BobbyBrown6280 (Jan 2, 2012)

it is hard for both of us. i have been thinking of working on getting a counselor involved but i wanted to see what all is out there before i go get professional help.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

BobbyBrown6280 said:


> it is hard for both of us. i have been thinking of working on getting a counselor involved but i wanted to see what all is out there before i go get professional help.


i really REALLY think counseling would be the best thing for her to deal with this, especially if it is having negative effects on her.
also for both of you to work on the problems within the marriage and the intimacy issues then you can learn how to get where you both should be and how you can help her without causing any more trauma.


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## BobbyBrown6280 (Jan 2, 2012)

ok thank you


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

good luck to you, your wife and your relationship.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

She will need to want to do the work. If she does, things will get much better for both of you. It is not a Do It Yourself project, she and you will need professional therapy.

Get yourself to aftersilence.org and register as a secondary survivor. Find some support for yourself.

A good book for you would be "Haunted Marriage".


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