# surprise surprise



## JadedAlly (Nov 17, 2013)

Hi everyone,

I hope you all are hanging in there. I posted a few weeks back and not much has changed with my situation. If anything, it has gotten worse. The other day I had a "feeling" and started looking for things and made an unpleasant discovery. My husband apparently felt the need to create a profile on a fetish website and emailed some lady telling her he thought they should talk and that he had pictures. She responded to his advance but he never did. When confronted about this 2 days ago, he said that he honestly didn't remember creating that profile and that when he did create it, I had just told him (2-3 hours) before that I wanted a divorce (in a heated argument). 

He apologized and from my impression, it seems like he doesn't think it's really a big deal because he never replied to her nor had sexual relations with her but in my mind, he took the initiative to pursue another woman. He offered to share pics of himself which are to only be for me. In my mind and based on the conversations we had over the past few weeks, I was under the impression that he wanted to try to work on things but this has just changed things for me. I am so hurt and distraught over this.

I use to pride myself on having a husband that I felt was truly committed to me 100%. I truly believed him when he said he would never go outside of our marriage because he had too much respect for me. Apparently, I was very wrong and misguided.

At this point, I don't even know what to do. He sent me a text yesterday asking me if I was still pissed and my response was that I wasn't angry, I was hurt. I have not been innocent in our marriage and have contributed to our issues as well but I feel like this is going nowhere, especially now since he has done this.

I asked him earlier today if I was going to see him at all this weekend and he sent me a text telling me just couldn't argue right now but gave me no response at all. I'm so lost and really don't know what to do about any of this. I love my husband so much but what he did was not acceptable and I honestly feel like I don't even know him. Because of this, it has spawned more questions about his loyalty and I wonder if there is more. Has anyone been down this road? I really want to work things out but right now, everything just seems so dismal.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

It would be better if you added the post from this thread to the post you made on the other thread, since they're both part of the same story. That way people don't have to do what I just did which was to go back and read your first story then jump back here again. You can copy and paste the post on this thread into a reply on the other thread.

Anyway, your husband used you for your inheritance, sorry to say it.

The money's gone and so is he. 

So what you said he's not a man during an argument. He got his own place without telling you and he's pretending to forget that he made an online profile to meet other women.

There's nothing left for you with this guy. Cut your losses. 

If nothing else, don't say weak things like "Am I seeing you this weekend?". It gives him all the power and control and that's the last thing you want especially if there's a chance of him coming back. 

He's gotta feel the pain of losing you. That won't happen unless you change it up a bit. Go no contact with him. Let him come to you. Not saying he will but he might. 

Half a chance is better than none.


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