# Online Gaming Addiction



## Cogo123

My husband is addicted to online video games.
He plays all weekend from 12 noon to well past midnight. He takes breaks to see what is going on for 15 min then is back at it. We spend no couple time together and he spends no time with our 2 boys. He said that his dad never spent time with him. My 10 yr old wants me to leave and find someone else. How do you tell someone they are pushing everyone away when he admits he is addicted but doesn't think its a bad thingbecause he said you at least know where I am.
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## EleGirl

It it gaming over the internet? 

You tell him that his behavior is not acceptable and that your are leaving him if he does not start being part of the family.

Are you a SAHM? Or do you work outside the house?


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## joe kidd

What in the hell does knowing where he is have anything to do with it? I mean if he was at a bar you would know where is was as well. 
You would think that since his dad spent so little time with him he would want to be a better father than the one he grew up with. 
Sounds as if he doesn't care.


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## Cogo123

[
I work full time and so does he. 
Yes it is internet gaming.

QUOTE=EleGirl;539794]It it gaming over the internet? 

You tell him that his behavior is not acceptable and that your are leaving him if he does not start being part of the family.

Are you a SAHM? Or do you work outside the house?[/QUOTE]
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## Cogo123

I was thinking I was overracting. I am going to have to do something. My son is asking me to find a man who wants to spend time with us. Grocery shopping is his idea of spending time together.
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## EleGirl

So your husband goes grocery shopping with you? Why does he do that?

Does he play games during the week nights?

Ok so you have a job. So leaving him would be doable.


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## joe kidd

Cogo123 said:


> I was thinking I was overracting. I am going to have to do something. My son is asking me to find a man who wants to spend time with us. Grocery shopping is his idea of spending time together.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I play games on my PS3. If I spend more than 2 hrs I start to feel guilty and shut it off. You can have fun and unwind and still be a part of the family. I try to buy games that my daughter and I can play together, we spent hours playing Lego Harry Potter together. I thought I would would hate it but it was pretty fun. She can't wait to start the next one with me.


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## EleGirl

Cogo123 said:


> I was thinking I was overracting. I am going to have to do something. My son is asking me to find a man who wants to spend time with us. Grocery shopping is his idea of spending time together.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No you are not over reacting. 

To build a happy, passionate marriage you two should be spending about 15 hours a week doing date-like activites... things that are just the two of you... from simple things like talking, going for a walk and a weekly date.

Does he also use Facebook a lot?


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## Cogo123

[Q

He does not have a Facebook page.
We have been grocery shopping together since I can remember. 
He doesn't get home from work til 8 and so I get to make dinner and help with homework etc. He plays games periodically but usually too tired so he watches TV in bed with me for about an hr then I fall asleep as I get up at 5am

UOTE=EleGirl;539819]No you are not over reacting. 

To build a happy, passionate marriage you two should be spending about 15 hours a week doing date-like activites... things that are just the two of you... from simple things like talking, going for a walk and a weekly date.

Does he also use Facebook a lot?[/QUOTE]
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## Cogo123

That is all my son wants is his time and attention but he says that he has no interest in playing games of any kind with him. 



UOTE=joe kidd;539817]I play games on my PS3. If I spend more than 2 hrs I start to feel guilty and shut it off. You can have fun and unwind and still be a part of the family. I try to buy games that my daughter and I can play together, we spent hours playing Lego Harry Potter together. I thought I would would hate it but it was pretty fun. She can't wait to start the next one with me.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl

Cogo123 said:


> [Q
> 
> He does not have a Facebook page.
> We have been grocery shopping together since I can remember.
> He doesn't get home from work til 8 and so I get to make dinner and help with homework etc. He plays games periodically but usually too tired so he watches TV in bed with me for about an hr then I fall asleep as I get up at 5am


Is he working long hours, or does he start his shift later in the day?

I tend to work long hours and come home late like that often. I'm whiped out after work because of it.

But you are working full time, cooking, doing the housework and taking care of the kids. So you are actally working longer hours than he does.

Playing games the hours he is playing is not even good for his health. He could also be depressed. That many hours of computer gaming is just not good for a person

Are you aware that a lot of people cyber cheat via games? Do you really know what he's doing online? Not that I want to add to your concerns but it does come to mind. Is he in a room where you and your son hang out? Or does he have a room where he's off by himself to play the games.

So what are you willing to do? How far are you willing to push this?


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## Cogo123

[

He starts work at11am. He plays sometimes before work but he says his clan mates are not on in the morning. 
He will play out in the open but to me sitting in the basement in the dark while bombs and guns go off is not my idea of fun. My son will sit down there with him. He wants so much to be a part of his dad's world he has all these army toys that he plays with while his dad is on the game 


QUOTE=EleGirl;539831]Is he working long hours, or does he start his shift later in the day?

I tend to work long hours and come home late like that often. I'm whiped out after work because of it.

But you are working full time, cooking, doing the housework and taking care of the kids. So you are actally working longer hours than he does.

Playing games the hours he is playing is not even good for his health. He could also be depressed. That many hours of computer gaming is just not good for a person

Are you aware that a lot of people cyber cheat via games? Do you really know what he's doing online? Not that I want to add to your concerns but it does come to mind. Is he in a room where you and your son hang out? Or does he have a room where he's off by himself to play the games.

So what are you willing to do? How far are you willing to push this?[/QUOTE]
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## Cogo123

Cogo123 said:


> [
> 
> 
> I have wanted to do something for years but i do not know if I have enough money to make it on my own. I make over forty thousand.
> I just want to be happy again
> 
> He starts work at11am. He plays sometimes before work but he says his clan mates are not on in the morning.
> He will play out in the open but to me sitting in the basement in the dark while bombs and guns go off is not my idea of fun. My son will sit down there with him. He wants so much to be a part of his dad's world he has all these army toys that he plays with while his dad is on the game
> 
> 
> QUOTE=EleGirl;539831]Is he working long hours, or does he start his shift later in the day?
> 
> I tend to work long hours and come home late like that often. I'm whiped out after work because of it.
> 
> But you are working full time, cooking, doing the housework and taking care of the kids. So you are actally working longer hours than he does.
> 
> Playing games the hours he is playing is not even good for his health. He could also be depressed. That many hours of computer gaming is just not good for a person
> 
> Are you aware that a lot of people cyber cheat via games? Do you really know what he's doing online? Not that I want to add to your concerns but it does come to mind. Is he in a room where you and your son hang out? Or does he have a room where he's off by himself to play the games.
> 
> So what are you willing to do? How far are you willing to push this?


_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]
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## joe kidd

So sorry to hear this. I do hope the best for you. Sounds as if that poor boy is dying for some of his dad's attention.


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## EleGirl

Cogo123 said:


> [
> 
> He starts work at11am. He plays sometimes before work but he says his clan mates are not on in the morning.
> He will play out in the open but to me sitting in the basement in the dark while bombs and guns go off is not my idea of fun. My son will sit down there with him. He wants so much to be a part of his dad's world he has all these army toys that he plays with while his dad is on the game to push this?


I know what you mean about the noise. I have the same problem with my husband, except mine does not even go to work. I bought him a head set so that I don’t have to hear the bombs, guns and other nonsense. You might want to think about that. It would save your sanity.

Your husband works 11am – 8 pm. So he’s working about a 40 hour week. He’s off in the morning but does not do anything around the house or yard.. is this right?

So again…. How far are you willing to go right now with conftronting him?

You can tell him that you are going to divorce unless: (this is a sample list, you can add to or change it of course)

•	He limits his game time to 2 hours a day on the weekend.
•	He helps around the house.
•	He spends time with your son.
•	He does one date night a week with you.

If he will not agree to those things he needs to leave and you will file for divorce. (I’m just suggesting this. Don’t know what you want to do. Hopefully this would shock him into paying attention to the problem.)


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## Cogo123

Does your husband know his limits when it comes to gaming?
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## chunt

I think you should definitley talk to him about what you posted on here, my husband has been on xbox live for the past month and it makes me nutty. I just think theres so many better things that could be done with all that free time. 

If he's willing, you should definitley tell him that what he is doing is not working, and that you need support too since you work as well as he does. I know this sounds juvenille but maybe make up a contract or something. I know mine would never do that because the gaming arguements turn into shouting matches. But it could work with someone more understanding. I've also started keeping myself out of the house when he's doing that when I'm off and I got a very nice next day off from it, where I actually got something called attention.


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