# too sensitive?



## sly2000 (Jun 18, 2011)

let me start off by saying that i love my husband very, very much. he has given me my self-asteem back, is very loving, and a great provider. however, i am feeling a little resentful towards him. we have just recently had a new baby. in the beginning, he helped out with our son quite a bit, but now, he comes home from work and gets on the playstation (i'm thinking i might "accidentally" drop the thing when we move, lol). i realize he is tired and wants to relax but i have been home with a newborn all day and am exhausted. i dont get a break. i barely have enough time to do housework let alone have time to myself, not to mention that i am up at all hours of the night so i am also sleep deprived. I love being a mom, but i also know i need help. If i ask him to do something to help out with our son he will do it, no problem. thats where i am confused. am i being too sensitive at wanting him to help out more and without asking? shouldn't he want to help? i will going back to work soon and i am afraid i will be taking care of the household chores and the baby myself while working full-time.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Aw sweetie my husband and I never fight unless there is a baby in the house. If your husband will help when you ask then just ask. Don't put parameters on it. Just ask.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Tell him what you need from him, tell him you are exhausted too.

You don't get a knock off time, so he should be sharing some of those responsibilities and you should both have some down time.

Plus if he can't limit his time on the play station, it needs to go.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

sly2000 said:


> am i being too sensitive at wanting him to help out more and without asking? shouldn't he want to help? i will going back to work soon and i am afraid i will be taking care of the household chores and the baby myself while working full-time.


No, you are not being too sensitive at wanting your husband to help out more, and for him to do so without you asking him. You need to discuss this with your husband, pronto, before you go back to work. All you need to do is read this forum to see that long-festering resentment, similar to that which can start when a person is in your situation, is like a slow-growing cancer to a marriage.

Your husband needs to understand that he is an adult now with adult responsibililties. Time to quit hiding behind the PlayStation or WoW. 

Set up a time to discuss this with your husband. Express your concerns in a calm and confident manner. Talk about how you can split up the chores with each partner understanding the chores should be done without prompting. Talk about setting limits on how much game time or PC time each of you can reasonably have. As well, when you go back to work, you need to have talked about who will get up with the baby during the night and who will stay home with the baby when it is sick.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

While some husbands help or stay home with their children, it is still mostly wives who do the lion's share of the looking after the kids and taking care of the home. It is sexist and unfair, but some things never change.

I feel that you are right to resent your husband, for not helping of his own volition. How about getting away from the baby for a night? You can calmly bring it up over dinner.


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