# Best way to ensure I get 50/50 custody



## kingrocc (Jan 5, 2016)

I am looking for some advice on the best way to get 50/50 custody of my kids.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

The best way is for both you and the mom to agree that 50/50 is best for the kids and then put that in your parenting plan.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Bananapeel said:


> The best way is for both you and the mom to agree that 50/50 is best for the kids and then put that in your parenting plan.


Agreed!

As long as the kids are better off with both of you equally, the most important thing is just to make sure you can logistically do it. Meaning, does your schedule (work schedule, etc.) allow for you to get them off to school, pick them up, etc. And of course no problems with drugs or alcohol or anything of that nature.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

You need to review the custody standards of your state and build a plan with your lawyer based on these standards. Your lawyer should also be familiar with the county court and the bias of the individual judges. Start with a Internet search and build from there.

For example a recent poster lived in PA. PA is a no fault state for does consider adultery for asset division and custody. There appears to be 17 guidelines used for asset division and 15 guidelines for custody. It appears all states start with best interest of the child as the guiding principle. One of the most important standards is stability. So based on this if I were you I keep the house if possible or get a rental or an apartment in the child's school district. 

If a parent or a sibling lives near by and is willing and able to pitch develop a plan that includes there help with transportation or childcare.

Review these links. They will give you an idea of these of these concepts 

Using the 17 Factors of Alimony in PA in Divorce Mediation


Section 5328 - Title 23 - DOMESTIC RELATIONS

Pennsylvania Child Custody Factors - Pennsylvania Men's Divorce LawsPennsylvania Men's Divorce Information

Finally would you be comfortable sharing the state you live in?


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Went back and reviewed your threads. I should have done so before posting and I apologize for failing to do so. While my example of adultery appears not to apply, the rest does. Continue to work on your issues and make sure you document your progress. Again if your lawyer knows the judges and knows what programs they like to "treat" your issue get into that program. 

Accept living in limbo for now and work on doing those things that show your able to and willing to do basic household ad childcare. Document this is the form a journal. 

You live in the state of FL so the laws can be tricky. On the plus side it will be one hell of an effort to move out of state with the Child if you do as I advise above.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Will depend on jurisdiction so you will have to check. Here you just show up and say I want them and you get 1/2.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

1.) You have no reason to presume you'd be suited for anything less than 50/50 of overnights. If you've done nothing horrible then there is no reason she is any more suited to parent than you are. The Golden Womb myth is just that, a myth.

2.) Do not fall on your sword unless it's a strategic fall with legal guidance or research to be aware of any future implications of the wound you'll get from it. 

3.) Be a gentlemen at all times and remain the gentlemen you are. Protect yourself with a VAR from any chance of false DV (Domestic Violence on Dysfunctional Vet, though that would be important also) charges.

4.) Don't move out of the house until made to buy the court via legal means. Typically in the form of a court order. If you have moved out recently and you are an owner of the property, get back in. Move yourself to a separated space within the home. Secure your area.

5.) Do you know the children's schedules, teachers, doctors, friends, friend's parents, etc? Why not? Get to it. Even if you don't get the custody you want, you want the teachers to love you in the end so you can be sure to get any updates, etc, going forward.

6.) Work schedule and parenting. Get it worked out. Demonstrate an ability to get them ready in the morning routines and have an answerable afternoon plan. 

7.) Are either of your younger children females? Do you have a plan to address any female puberty related, or similar, issues that may arise during your parenting time?

8.) It's parenting time. Not custody. Prisoners are in custody at a facility. We parent our children. We don't have visitation. That's for inmates. Kids are young goats. Our children are children.

9.) When were their last doctor's appointments? Dentist? Optometrist? Vaccinations? What is the ext visit due? Next vaccination due, and when?

10.) Religious disagreements? Prepared to answer to solutions for it? 

11.) Do you have a proposed means of low-conflict communication post divorce regarding the children and their schedules? 

12.) Stance on post divorce counseling? Short term for the children at the minimum, to ease the families transition for them.

Basically, these are the sort of things that apply in many places. Questions the Judge, a GAL or other evaluator may ask you. Be prepared. A lackluster or 'not the top' answer is better than any blank stare. 

Communication? Well your honor I hoped that if we maintain a low conflict divorce we could use a shared calendar from Google and perhaps a shared drive on a cloud service like Google to pass documents as needed. You know your honor. Forgotten homework assignments and that sort of stuff.

Another important thing to read up on is Parental Alienation. Know what it is. Learn how to talk around the house. Know what not to say or do. Grilling the children about mommy is not a good thing. Don't do it. 

Learn how to document to the best of your ability. When it comes time for exchanges, if someone is late and you're waiting, go to a nearby store after you've waited 20+ minutes. Buy a pop. Be on camera. Get the receipt. Keep it. 

For documentation I found Evernote handy on my iPhone. When I flipped to Android I decided I liked Journey better. Both are great. Bring that days paper. Take a selfie at the exchange location with the paper in clear view to capture the date. Try to get a reference of your location int it as well. 

Learn how to talk with the Judge, GAL and evaluators. They're busy people. They want facts. Answer what they ask. Let them go first. Yes Sir, no Ma'am. After they got their bit out of the way, ask if you may ask a couple questions of them. Then address, in short fashion, your questions or concerns.


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