# My Story



## Torche (Jul 11, 2012)

Hello, I'm new to the website, and i just needed a place to vent without recriminations to my wife by my family/friends. I will now try to go through a short summery of our life together, i appreciate any reply's!

Met my wife at work, (a fast food restaurant) when i was 19 she was 18 at the time. I had never asked anyone out, and had barely kissed another girl. At my 20th birthday party (friends house underage drinking) i asked her out... she said YES!, was nervous, it was supposed to be the next weekend.... a few days later, my trans axle on my car broke... but i borrowed a friends car and took her out! (with the cost of that+ the date i went in the hole 300~ but meh it was worth every penny i didn't have...) when we got back to her house so i could drop her off, i she tried to kiss me on my cheek but i turned and our lips touched. I asked her out again and she said yes again! then i got in my car and had the biggest .... eating grin on my face lol. Then she came outside and asked me if i wanted to come in... my mind was telling me to go and my body agreed, but i was sooooo nervous. I drank a beer or 2 (I'm a hard liquor drinker not a beer drinker but i sucked it up) and she said she had a good night and opened the door (this is the one and only time i have ever driven after i have drank so please don't judge harshly) 
A few weeks later i received my first taste of insane step-dad, (not going to get into this but it is important noting that he is a horrible piece of ****) and she told me about what had happened to her growing up. Long story short here, i stayed with her and gave her an ear to talk into. She got a protective order vs him and that was the last i saw of him (cant even remember what he looks like honestly) We moved in together (albeit not officially just one of us all always sleeping in the others houses [this was within a month of going out mind you waaay 2 fast but we were each others first gf/bf so we didn't know]) and about 6 months later we got our own official place!
She got a new job at a cable place about 1 month before we moved into this place its good to note.
About 5 months after we moved into our new place i got a callback for a new job! (making about 17k more per year than i was [still my current job i have tried to move up tho but with the economy no one higher up is willing to risk unemployment]) and my hire date was my gfs birthday!!!! cake to remember now because i get yearly raises!
I wont try to be exact on dates from this point on because its hard to remember.
I made a friend at work and started hanging out with him.
Our sex-life/relationship started deteriorating due to playing games to much (WoW with my friends and such).
GF quit her job in a last ditch effort to spend more time with me. My friend that i made at work came over a lot and spent a lot of time with me and my gf.
About 4 months later, my gf told me she wanted to break up. My heart was ripped from my chest... you all know the feeling... was sad/mad at all times, but i called my brother on the phone and told him what was happening and he told me i could move in with him. i told my gf this and tried to set up how we would split everything (as i had a car at this point that i had since i was 19 (the one that broke on before our first date) and she got really sad and said ok... (it is important to note at this point our finances were royally screwed the economy was just failing in our area and no one was hiring so she couldn't get a job but she had the option of moving in with her mother) She came back a little later and asked if we could get back together... (i realize that this was her seeing me moving on and she couldn't?) I said ok and was happy but we moved in with my brother and his wife to help build ourselves financially again.
Long story short here 2 girls shouldn't EVER live together and we a few months later moved in with my father. We saved for months and my gfs mom found my gfs real dad and started talking to him and moved back to wherever it was... lol. They got remarried and lived together about 5 months? Then she called my gf and wanted her to look for a place for her down here because she was leaving her dad.
We looked and found her a place, She transferred money to us and we rented the apartment, and stayed there till her mom got the money again for a flight. We went back to my dads when she arrived and she lived there for a month or 2 before deciding to go back to her dad.... we took over the lease and my gf found a job!!!! woot! We lived in the apartment for a month or 2 then my gf told me she wanted to break up... (at this i was hurt because by this point i had supported her this whole time after she quit her job, now she has another one and leaves me) I went back to my dads where we still had a lot of stuff and was messing around with the computer there when i found a locked word file, i typed in random passwords till i got it... it was a digital diary my gf had been keeping talking about the guy that i worked with and how she thought she was in love with him BUT how can that be true when she still loved me.) i talked to my wife about the things INSIDE the diary without ever letting her know that i had read it (WRONG I KNOW BUT DURING A BREAKUP w/ u gonna do? Knowing that no sexual activity had happened made me ecstatic) about 5 days later we got back together, go figure...

This next part.... i know its stupid (the thing about knowledge is you don't get it until its too late) we got married! went to a court house and just did it! about 2 days before fathers day last year, my wife's father died, i went to her work and was the one that informed her (the hardest thing Ive ever had to do). Mother in-law moved back and stayed with us for a month or so till she got her own place... 

Sometime later that year, my wife received a phone call from her sister (who is mentally handicapped and always asks for money... if you don't have it then you dont want to help her apparently) she said that DHS was going to take her baby that she needed a family member to take it. Wife called me i said ok, and we got temporary guardianship of the child.
At the hearing a month later the birth parents contested the guardianship... we went to court (the child was 3 months old, all the cloths/baby stuff we got was when supposed to be white, was brown and smelled of cigar smoke).

When we first got our daughter we were actually making it financially and our relationship had never been better we had roughly 1000$ extra a month after rent/ everything) but when we first got her we had NO MONEY NO BABY CLOTHS NO DIAPERS no nothing... 
(Its important to note that the January of that year i totaled my old trusty car and we got another one that we paid cash for. but it had no ac/ we were getting ready to buy another one when the baby arrived)
Considering we had a 3 month old and it was august i went out and bought a car (first time i had ever not paid cash for a car) had to get full coverage, and considering we didn't have any money i got 2 loans out (personal for around 1300$) and we bought everything we needed.
At this point it seemed like all the cleaning in the house was done by me... when i was home, all the diaper changing was my job apparently but i took this in stride, as it was a difficult time for us both)
We went back to court and won full guardianship of our baby. YAY
Now i look at her as my daughter, she calls me Dadada and my wife Mamama
(she is 14 months old but she isn't walking yet we took her to a doctor and he said it could come genetically from the mother or the malnutrition she had early in life causing her to be a little behind)
We have been flat broke trying to pay off debts the last few months and (this is my biggest regret) my wife had spent all the money on the babys birthday party and when mothers day came along... i was flat broke.... had no money (no excuse i know i could have done something but i didnt and i know how wrong it is). A few days before fathers day my wife told me she didnt think it was working and that she was going to still try for me/baby) On fathers day we went to see the avengers but during this whole time of "Trying" i would try to hold her hand she would pull away, our feet would touch while we were watching tv and she would pull away, (you get the picture) so after the movie i asked her what she thought about us, and she said she didnt think it was working and she was sorry, i told her its ok, i love her and i will give her whatever time she needs without hassling her (i know people say DONT BUG THEM) but because of our situation with the baby/bills i stayed living in the house (sleeping on the couch).
Once morning she snapped at me (been having trouble going to sleep but once im there im there.) Apparently the baby had woke up early and had removed her diaper and was playing with it... and she wanted my help in cleaning it up...
I didnt move fast enough and she said "if you dont want the help then you will NEVER see her again!"
At this point i layed back down and went to sleep(not wanted to explode)
When i woke, i told her to not EVER threaten me with that again, and went to explain more, when she apologized and said she should have never said it, that it was just the stress of us living together.
Today she told me the stress is 2 much (i really dont understand since ive been trying to stay out of her way totally not trying to do anything but clean)
She wants me to move out (i will get the baby on sun/mon/tues (she works at a hospital) she will get the baby on wed/thurs/fri/sat
I agreed that would work for the best, and today i started boxing up my belongings that we had agreed were mine (books/few dvds/my ipod/old currency's i had collected at my job)


Sorry about the LOOONG post, but i was wondering if anyone has any advice on anything im doing/have done wrong? Any insight/critizisim is appretiated and wont be taken in a negative way.
My questions are in regard to the baby
Driving situation... (back down to one car, the one i got when we got the baby)
Already i feel better after posting this, i just want to be DONE with all this and start my life over... seeing everything ive done FOR Her and nothing over the last 5 years for myself.
The car is mine, because she cant afford the payment/insurance
but ive agreed on my days off ill let her have the car to go to work or whatever, and her days off ill have the car.
Im going to stay with my mom after this weekend, so i have a babysitter and a ride if i need it.
Another question involves the breakup itself, is it just a bad relationship (i like to read/play games/relax while she likes to hang with friends and such) (i like punk rock she likes country)(She is a die hard christian who believes in heaven/hell while i believe that Jesus died for our sins, but i cant see a god that would throw his own children into an oven) (as you can see ive thought about this)
Or is it... With my wife's childhood... finding her real dad... seeing her mother leave/return/leave/return then his anniversary at the same time as our breakup one of the leading contributors.
Or is it another man? (I fervently disbelieve this but i admit to the possibility)
Or did we get married 2 fast, add a baby to our life 2 fast? Thank you to anyone who posts sorry about my life story. I feel alot better!


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## Torche (Jul 11, 2012)

Sorry about the bad grammar/sentence structure i can read very well, but my English is..... awful


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