# Would you marry your platonic best friend?



## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

Would you marry your best friend of the opposite gender who you have no physical attraction to? Nicest, sweetest, most devoted friend you ever have, someone you know will treasure you and treat you so good, but you can't picture yourself remotely having sex with him or her because you are too much of a buddy and you don't find him/her physically attractive.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNO!!!!!!!!!!!

recipe for disaster.

when he finds out you never had it for him sexually he will be hurt beyond repair.and then you will prob have kids and he will feel like his whole life was a fraud.


be patient and wait for the right person to marry.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Suemolly said:


> Would you marry your best friend of the opposite gender who you have no physical attraction to? Nicest, sweetest, most devoted friend you ever have, someone you know will treasure you and treat you so good, but you can't picture yourself remotely having sex with him or her because you are too much of a buddy and you don't find him/her physically attractive.


 IF NO Physical attraction... NO , never ,don't do it, you will regret it, the marriage will never work ....break the friendship immediately if this guy friend has TRUE feelings for you - so he can move on with his life, find a woman who loves & desires him as well. 

Too many women keep these guys hanging on, while they are blinded by love, waiting, praying for an opportunity. 

IF physcial attraction IS THERE, however...... I feel these make the best marraiges... that is me & my husbands story.

Me & mine were best friends before we even kissed. 

Physical Attraction is just too important. It is like the glue in a relationship, it is what arouses us and we want to fall into the others arms, heck you gotta have some of that !!!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sex is the glue that holds the marriage together.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No I would keep him as my friend.. good friends are hard to come by...treasure him for that!

What about sex?
Wouldn't you miss that from life...wouldn't he?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

why would you marry someone like that? Ever? Why not just live with them until you got bored?

Why do people feel like they need to always be getting married?

If you're not desiring to have sex with someone, why would you partake in a religious ceremony whose sole purpose is to commit to being sexually faithful to that person?

The only reason you should say yes to this is to get a visa or health insurance or some other practical reason.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

How do you know, about the sexual compatability?
Some people are sexually attracted to people who are not marriage material. 
I think if the person is such a good friend this can be talked about and you can experiment to see if doing some things like changing the environment or trying to introduce some romance to your relationship so see if anything changes in terms of chemistry. A good road trip can put things in perspective, for instance. Some people put up barriers at some points in relationships for good reasons, and forget to take them down when the reasons change. If there is any question in your mind and the relationship is otherwise solid and wouldn't be harmed by the discussion, and could even strengthen a friendship by removing the question or hey, finding a surprise there, what's there to lose?
I can't imagine having a solid friendship where you can't talk about things like this, especially in an opposite-gender friendship. 

Imagine being able to tell a future husband, this is my friend so and so, we at one time explored being romantically attached but we had no spark and so we are even better friends now...vs. murky relationship with doubt and questions remaining. Otherwise at some point you will probably have to give up this friend and that would be a loss, and you might be tempted to explore too late rather than at an appropriate time. 

It's a good question but one you have to talk to your friend about!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Nope.... friends like that are hard to find!


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

That's pretty much what I did (not realizing it at the time). As horrible as it is being in a sexless marriage, it's also wonderful being a real friend with your spouse.

Ask yourself the inverse-- would you marry someone you had great sex with, but couldn't stand talking to or being around?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

isla~mama said:


> That's pretty much what I did (not realizing it at the time). As horrible as it is being in a sexless marriage, it's also wonderful being a real friend with your spouse.
> 
> Ask yourself the inverse-- would you marry someone you had great sex with, but couldn't stand talking to or being around?


Or you could be in a healthy relationship and marry someone who you are both friends with and enjoy the sex....

As with most things in life, the sweet spot is in the middle of two extremes.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

no way in hell....i have a great platonic friend....we have no sexual chem what-so-ever....and though i love him to death, i dont want to have sex with him...ewww!!!

my husband is my BEST friend, of whom i wanted to have sex with, and the possibility that we would have kids...was ok.

dont marry someone that you are not sexually attracted to. it will be a "chore" later, and so much resentment and hostility will build so fast.



unless its a pact where you both are 40/50/60 and havent married and/or dont have kids...then i guess its a good idea, since you and he both know what your getting yourself into.


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

COguy said:


> Or you could be in a healthy relationship and marry someone who you are both friends with and enjoy the sex....


Of course, that is the ideal! Though apparently ephemeral.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

NEVER!

Sex is so important to marriage. Being friends isn't enough.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Nope. No. Uh uh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> IF NO Physical attraction... NO , never ,don't do it, you will regret it, the marriage will never work ....break the friendship immediately if this guy friend has TRUE feelings for you - so he can move on with his life, find a woman who loves & desires him as well.
> 
> Too many women keep these guys hanging on, while they are blinded by love, waiting, praying for an opportunity.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Couldn't have said it better.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No way, no how!

My hubsand and I are now each others best friend. He's much better then a platonic friend would be! He is the nicest, sweetest man alive, but he is also the best lover too! I have best of both worlds. We are very strongly physically attracted to each other. We do have the best relationship! We are 100% transparency and never fight/argue!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayflowers (Jul 19, 2015)

I would, hell yes
My best friend and I have pact to get married when we're 30 if we are still single, there's a lot of love, and we live together and have been roommates since we were eighteen, and 70% of the time we're both single, we joke about the fact that we've made this decision and our friends know and joke about it, but we all know, her and myself especially, that it's a very real possibility, we've discussed this idea since we were sixteen, we're now both 28 and the date is looming, both of us could meet the love of our lives in the next two years and we always help keep our relationships together but I think that the love between us is such that the lack sexuality is a key part of our relationship, we've had sex on occasion as we both find each other to be beautiful people, but there is little or no drive, we often sleep together with little or no contact just to deal with loneliness at night, we trust each other to much to get hung up on such delicate intimate subjects, we've talked about children and adopting and parenting often, we've been friends for 16 years now, ten of those have been spent living together, often I feel like we are already life partners, we love each other to the point of inseparability and I think we are already husband and wife. Only the next two years will tell.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

i would if they put out!


hell yes! if the only problem were sexual attraction, then yes, i would marry in a heart beat. because i know that sexual attraction can be built. but i will say this... 

building sexual attraction for someone you are not automatically attracted to is a lot of work. it can be done, but if you dont already believe you can do it, you will fail. 

so, if you dont think its possible to build that attraction, then dont even bother. your dooming yourself if you are not willing to have the patience with him and yourself that is necessary to get to the point where you actually get turned on by him. 

i believe in my ability to build this attraction. do you?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)




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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

awe, i has been had. lol, oh well.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

She's kinda loopy, and I would have to put down a sizable dowry.


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

Jayflowers said:


> I would, hell yes
> My best friend and I have pact to get married when we're 30 if we are still single, there's a lot of love, and we live together and have been roommates since we were eighteen, and 70% of the time we're both single, we joke about the fact that we've made this decision and our friends know and joke about it, but we all know, her and myself especially, that it's a very real possibility, we've discussed this idea since we were sixteen, we're now both 28 and the date is looming, both of us could meet the love of our lives in the next two years and we always help keep our relationships together but I think that the love between us is such that the lack sexuality is a key part of our relationship, we've had sex on occasion as we both find each other to be beautiful people, but there is little or no drive, we often sleep together with little or no contact just to deal with loneliness at night, we trust each other to much to get hung up on such delicate intimate subjects, we've talked about children and adopting and parenting often, we've been friends for 16 years now, ten of those have been spent living together, often I feel like we are already life partners, we love each other to the point of inseparability and I think we are already husband and wife. Only the next two years will tell.


Jayflowers:

If you think that the two of you are already husband and wife, then the two of you are not just friends.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Fvck no.

Unless you're both asexual, then knock yourself out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* Hell to the "No!"*


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

No! No! No!


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

I would not, but to each their own.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

You know what would be the worst? You marry your platonic best friend and then a week later meet your soul mate.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

soccermom2three said:


> You know what would be the worst? You marry your platonic best friend and then a week later meet your soul mate.


What exactly is a soul mate? 

The only person I could ever think of as a soul mate would be my wife. I fvckng hated her guts, and she mine, until we bonded as a team, a single entity. 

What on earth is a soul mate? What does that mean?
I would die for my wife in a heart beat, but I have never understood what "soul mate" means. 

I don't believe in it....

Can you describe it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

As'laDain said:


> What exactly is a soul mate?
> 
> The only person I could ever think of as a soul mate would be my wife. I fvckng hated her guts, and she mine, until we bonded as a team, a single entity.
> 
> ...


Sheesh, I was just making a funny observation. It would be a bummer to marry a friend then meet the love of your life. Don't overthink things. Personally I don't believe in soul mates.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

As'laDain said:


> *What exactly is a soul mate?*
> 
> The only person I could ever think of as a soul mate would be my wife. I fvckng hated her guts, and she mine, until we bonded as a team, a single entity.
> 
> ...


That's because no such thing exists.

And either way... how hilarious is it that -- in so many cases -- one's proclaimed "soulmate" turns out NOT to be the "sole mate"...?

:lol: :rofl:

To be clear, I'm lampooning the usual circumstances regarding infidelity and not situations in which either spouse (or both spouses) have had _*prior*_ romantic and/or sexual partners.


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