# Did anyone stay-just so the OW/OM couldn't have him/her?



## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Just wondering. Within 24 hours of d-day, I decided I'm staying, or at least I'm acting like I'm staying no matter what just so she can't have him. 
He was sorry, remorseful from the minute I confronted him. And of course he wanted to stay but said he would go if I wanted him out. 
I was still reeling, my mind flipping out-I didn't know what I wanted, but I did NOT want to send him out to possibly a whole night with her. (He had never spent a whole night out)
Oh and he called her in front of me within hours of confrontation telling her it was over, then he shut off his cell phone and gave it to me. 

It was rash. It was foolish. But actually now, I am glad I did it. And I know I did it for the wrong reason.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

sunshinetoday said:


> Just wondering. Within 24 hours of d-day, I decided I'm staying, or at least I'm acting like I'm staying no matter what just so she can't have him.
> He was sorry, remorseful from the minute I confronted him. And of course he wanted to stay but said he would go if I wanted him out.
> I was still reeling, my mind flipping out-I didn't know what I wanted, but I did NOT want to send him out to possibly a whole night with her. (He had never spent a whole night out)
> Oh and he called her in front of me within hours of confrontation telling her it was over, then he shut off his cell phone and gave it to me.
> ...


Dont say you did it for wrong reason. You have every reason to end the affair.

Wait and observe.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Hi and thanks. I am NOT just post 24 hours D Day now. Sorry. 
I am like 3 years past D Day. 

But I am saying, right at 24 hours past, I decided that fast to stay & let him stay--just so she couldn't have him.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Nope. She could leave and GTFO and OM can have her for all I care. I've told her this more than a few times. I've ONLY stayed because she's busting her ass in R.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

what's the old cliche?

cutting off your nose to spite your face


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

sunshinetoday said:


> Hi and thanks. I am NOT just post 24 hours D Day now. Sorry.
> I am like 3 years past D Day.
> 
> But I am saying, right at 24 hours past, I decided that fast to stay & let him stay--just so she couldn't have him.


I told my H to pack his sh!t and get out that evening. I started thinking about getting it done financially, and figuring out how much he could spend for an apartment. He told me later that at that point he was feeling desperate, but he knew that I would not make it easy for her, so he started talking about how accessible an apartment would make him. At the time he thought it unlikely that she would pursue him ( was he wrong!) . He had already gone NC, but he told me that he thought that she would try to renew the relationship if we were separated. At that point I decided that I disliked this she weasel way too much to make anything easy for her. She kept dropping in at his office, e-mailing , calling and " accidentally" running in to him for a year and a half. Each time she made an appearance it made me more determined to deprive her of success. Her determination also made me realize that she saw herself as superior to me and an all around better catch. There were days when my only reason for continuing the relationship was to rub her nose in the fact that she couldn't lure him back away from an older, fatter and less physically attractive female. I let him stay for the wrong reasons too, but I am glad that I did. I am a much better person now then I ever could have been without this experience as is he. I no longer care what her motives are or what she is up to. She is irrelevant


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

Hi Sunshine. It took me a while to realize that was what I was doing. First I went from trying to make it work to just not wanting her to have him. He said he didn't want her but would go to her only because it would be eaiser. Because he had needs. Go figure. But doing so had made me miserable. I am happy now that I have searched myself and found out what I really want and that is peace. I tell him often I know longer want him and am setting myself up to be single and he still says that we will be together. So I allow him to think what he likes, all while continuing my process. When it is all said and done. Do whats right for you.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I had an acquaintance that did this. Thought by taking him back the OW couldn't have him.

Her husband is still seeing the OW.

She knows (I think) but her logic is at least he can't be WITH her full time to which I just shake my head as to wth is she thinking?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I had an acquaintance that did this. Thought by taking him back the OW couldn't have him.
> 
> Her husband is still seeing the OW.
> 
> She knows (I think) but her logic is at least he can't be WITH her full time to which I just shake my head as to wth is she thinking?


Turning a blind eye, so archaic, IMO.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I did not think that if I kept him OW could not have him. But I did think.......if she wants him then she is crazier then me because she knows what he is capable of.

But then again I think she only wanted him at all to play these little sexual charged games with and nothing more seriouse but who really knows what she was after in truth but her.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

Well I knew the affair was over. I just wanted to hurt her in my own way by keeping him. So stupid I know. My plan those first hours was truly revenge and how can I hurt both my husb and the ***re...
I planned on revenge cheating with all his friends...maybe his brother...I was out of my mind. And no I never did. I did expose her to her husband though. Great satisfaction I got in messing with her pathetic life a little.

_-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

sunshinetoday said:


> Well I knew the affair was over. I just wanted to hurt her in my own way by keeping *him. So stupid I know. My plan those first hours was truly revenge and how can I hurt both my husb and the ***re...
> I planned on revenge cheating with all his friends...maybe his brother...I was out of my mind. And no I never did. * I did expose her to her husband though. Great satisfaction I got in messing with her pathetic life a little.
> 
> _-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


Dangerous to think of revenge by another infidelity! OMG. Would you even think of it?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

the more e-mails and text messages I saw in which she insisted that they were "just friends", the more I liked the idea that my bf was cutting off contact from her and denying the "friendship" she claimed to crave. No I can't be bothered with these "special friendships" that know no boundaries.


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## mik (Mar 5, 2012)

Just friends never works.. once partners can never be friends..


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

*Did anyone stay-just so the OW/OM couldn't have him/her?*

YES, Thrway214 !!!!


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