# divorce? or keep trying?



## stillunsure (Dec 27, 2008)

hi i have posted here before. for those people that may have not read my post..... 

quick review:
1st issue.....my husband was chatting and calling other women talking in a flirtatious and vulgar manner for the 1st two years of our marrige without me knowing. its very likely that he has been physical with one or more of them (judgeing by the language) i found this out by reading his email he left open last summer. when i confronted him about this, he told me that he was only joking, and that the women were just friends. he told me that he would stop talking to them. we went to conuseling. but he continued to talk to them. finally i told him that we might end in divorce. he then stopped talking to them but it didnt take him long to get a whole slue of different women to talk to. as far as i know he stills very flirtaious with women.

2nd issue........we have been having financial problems due to him not paying bills on time.he also kept this a secret. he even quit two jobs because he didnt feel that they were paying him enough. he went out of the country to work for 3 months(hes not american) but ended up ,making much less than he got paid here. (very little work) .... so we got behind on the bills.

now to the present......weve talked about both issues and he says he going to get better. he says he loves me and he wants our marriage to work out.right now hes out of the country again working. he sends me just enough to cover utilities. i know that this is better than nothing. and i am grateful , but hes told me that hes made close to 4 grand. when i asked him about the money he has , he said that hes taking care of business( hes mentioned trying to start his own business before) and saving the rest for "us". im not sure exactly what he means by that. but "us" needs it now..... and in the meantime im paying the morgage, carnote, insurance, phone, student loans.. etc etc... ive always paid these bills by myself. but i thought with him making more money then he would do more. thats what i get for thinking. but anyway im at the point where im wondering if i will be better off alone. why should i wait for him to come back and do the same things hes always done. (the women the inconsistant working) is it really worth it? should i give him another chance or should i let this relationship go before it gets worse. any advice? weve talked until blue in the face. he lied all through counseling. im not sure what else to do...


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## mshane (May 9, 2009)

Hey there your situation sounds a little like mine.I'm not a pro on solving marriage problems but if he is being dishonest and making you pay all the bills he is only thinking about himself.It sounds like you haven't been married long and if he has been talking to other women he doesn't know what love is and should have never married you.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

My marriage of 23 years has ended and I have learned much on this journey. I have learned a big lesson that I'm happy to share with others. For the most part, a great marriage is based on honesty. If you don't have honesty, then there is no strong foundation for the marriage. The lying is a serious character flaw which is very unlikely to go away. So if you don't enjoy the lying, you probably need to move on.


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