# Feeling so empty when I read this



## .335487 (Dec 13, 2018)

The original Reddit thread and poster's account has been deleted. All that remains: https://removeddit.com/r/relationships/comments/bty2r0/cheating_or_taken_advantage_of/

Reading this just makes me want to walk away.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Parasite said:


> The original Reddit thread and poster's account has been deleted. All that remains: https://removeddit.com/r/relationships/comments/bty2r0/cheating_or_taken_advantage_of/
> 
> Reading this just makes me want to walk away.


Walk away from what?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

They should have:
1. Immediately gone to the ER and had their blood drawn to check for drugs and had a rape kit done.
2. Filed a police report.
3. Told her husband while she was waiting to be seen at the ER.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Well, there are a lot of lessons to be learned from that particular story. 2 women out alone should never drink so much they start to make stupid decisions. And 2 married women have no business accepting drinks from strange men. Men buy women drinks to get laid. If you're not prepared to participate you shouldn't accept the drink. However, if you're going to accept them, have the bartender hand it right to you directly and then don't leave that drink unattended at all. It doesn't guarantee your safety though. 

If the worst happens, go the an ER immediately and get tested for rohypnol and STD's and get some plan B. I had to bring a friend in once. So devastating. But for God's sake...tell your husband. This is not something you can hide from him. My friend was at a party and didn't even put her drink down. I think she must have just looked away and someone slipped it in quickly while she wasn't paying attention. She called her boyfriend first thing in the morning when she woke up in bed with a stranger and confessed to sleeping with someone else. She thought she had just had too much to drink. She had had 3 beers in 6 hours. He broke up with her immediately. Then she called me and after talking to her I realized she had probably been drugged. ER visit confirmed it and did a rape kit. Boyfriend stood by her, they went to counseling together and she went to IC as well. He supported her through her entire recovery. They are getting married soon.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

@notmyjamie, Good job. Your friend is blessed that she called you and your cooler head helped her get through the situation.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

CynthiaDe said:


> @notmyjamie, Good job. Your friend is blessed that she called you and your cooler head helped her get through the situation.


Yeah, I often think back on that day. She just kept saying it was her own fault because she drank too much. 3 beers in 6 hours is not too much. And I came to find out later she was not the only girl it happened to at that party  She and her boyfriend live in another state now and every time they came home to visit his parents (who live across the street from me) they make it a point to come say hello. Seeing them so happy together just does my heart so much good. 

She chose not to press charges. The biggest problem with this crime is that the person who gave you the drug is not always the person who ends up having sex with you and he can claim he had no idea you were drugged. She decided she just wanted to move on with her life so she dropped it. But as she is quite happy now it all worked out in the end I guess.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Oh for a world were we could all could go to bars and not have to worry about getting assaulted. Sad.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

notmyjamie said:


> She chose not to press charges. The biggest problem with this crime is that the person who gave you the drug is not always the person who ends up having sex with you and he can claim he had no idea you were drugged. She decided she just wanted to move on with her life so she dropped it. But as she is quite happy now it all worked out in the end I guess.


Except that whoever did it to her, is presumably still free doing it to others. 

I don't see the "issue". Having sex with a woman who's unconscious, or so inebriated she can't tell what's happening around her, is rape. It doesn't matter if they're the one who drugged her or not. If she's your gf or wife, different thing. But a stranger? Not ok.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

BioFury said:


> Except that whoever did it to her, is presumably still free doing it to others.
> 
> I don't see the "issue". Having sex with a woman who's unconscious, or so inebriated she can't tell what's happening around her, is rape. It doesn't matter if they're the one who drugged her or not. If she's your gf or wife, different thing. But a stranger? Not ok.


I agree 100%. I meant issue as in the difficulty in getting a conviction. The police officer she spoke to was very honest about her chances of being successful and they were very low. I don't agree with this at all either and it makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. But he told her that even a low dose of the drug will make women vulnerable but doesn't always make them appear too drunk to consent. The sad fact is that rape cases are hard to prosecute even without drugs being involved. They would have gone forward if she wanted them to but she made the choice that she wanted to put it behind her and move on. I wish she had prosecuted but it wasn't my decision.

Believe me, the whole thing disgusts me too. I have 3 daughters and I teach them about this danger all the time.


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