# I am totally lost .



## sofreakingconfused (Nov 17, 2011)

I am not sure if I am posting in the correct forum but here goes. I have been married for 8 years. Ups and down. I got married when I was young to my husband. My husband is Bi. He was sexually abused as a child. I feel he is more attracted to men. He says he is attracted to me. We would have sex here and there. Not the way I want too. I have an extremely high sex drive. I love him very much. But I am at the bend in the road. And I feel like neither of us is being true to themselves. And I feel he is too sexually attracted to men for this to work. He shows me very little affection. Mostly just a peck on the lips and intercourse. He does not like to be touched very much. It is hard for me to get him an erection aswell. Please any comments would be helpful.


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## PFTGuy (Aug 28, 2011)

Have you talked to him about your feelings? The first thing is to let him know how you feel and what you want, in a nonjudgmental and nonthreatening manner. This sounds like a difficult and painful subject, so probably counseling for the two of you would be a good idea, to help clarify issues and options.


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## sofreakingconfused (Nov 17, 2011)

Yep. I have suggested counseling many times. He refuses and he is ashamed of his past. His parents don't even know . I feel really sad, but he has already cheated on me once with one guy. And I felt like a slap in the face. But I forgave him for that. But I feel that the only option is to split. Neither of us are sexually happy and he said he can live with it like this. But I cant . Not without cheating on him and this would not be fair too him.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

If he will not get counseling there is not much else you can do. Have you talked to him about splitting up?


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## sofreakingconfused (Nov 17, 2011)

Yes. We are currently living in two separate rooms. Just going to be a little while before I can move to my own place. I gave up my career to move with him for his career. So he has to make some arrangements to cover one of the cars he is keeping. Just hope I am making the right move for both of us.


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## PFTGuy (Aug 28, 2011)

I doesn't sound like you have much choice...

Peace and grace be with you


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

As someone who has (unbeknownst to me at the time), dated a handful of gay/bi men, I can overwhelmingly relate to your pain and sadness. It's not you, honey, it really is him. You really deserve someone who is fully committed to you. He deserves to be true to himself, as well. I hope you can make the best of the situation. I wish I could say something more useful than that, but having been where you are, I know that it is painful and bleak. Sending you big hugs!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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