# What do i do - help needed please!!



## lonelyguy33 (Jun 9, 2013)

Hi all,

My wife left me 2 months ago and pretty much started divorce proceedings straight away. I tried everything to try to get her to reconsider but to no avail.
She said the reasoning for the divorce on the petition when it arrived would be my selfishness, lack of communication and amount of time i spent working! She also said she was happy to pay for the divorce just to get it finalised.
I received my court papers yesterday but the reasons she has given are pretty much all lies and its extremley hurtful what she has said. However I have calmed down and am happy to now just sign even though it's not true to just get it all finalised so that I can move on. 
She has however put on the divorce petition that she wants me to pay the costs?????? This is something that I am not happy to do as the divorce is not something that I ever actually wanted. I offered to give up my job, counselling etc to try & sort out our supposed problems.
I do not have a solicitor as if I'm honest I can't really afford one and she knows this.
I have since learned that within a week of ending the marriage she was in a relationship with another man and they have now got a new home together. I feel that she is trying to actually just come up with excuses & blame me for the breakdown of the marriage when in fact it is actually due to the fact that she was weak & had started a relationship with another man.

Please help people as not sure what I should do

:scratchhead:


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Your wife had an affair, sorry to say. Give her what she wants (the divorce) but she pays for it. As for her accusations, if they're false, ignore them.

Are you paying anything of hers?


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## lonelyguy33 (Jun 9, 2013)

Not paying for anything of hers except a few small debts of hers i paid off with my credit card.
she can have the divorce i have no problem with that now. However all websites seem to say if she has filed for divorce on unreasonable behaviour grounds then the court would generally order the respondant to pay costs.

feel like i should get legal advice as i have to have the form back within a week?


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## Peeps678 (May 21, 2013)

lonelyguy33 said:


> Not paying for anything of hers except a few small debts of hers i paid off with my credit card.
> she can have the divorce i have no problem with that now. However all websites seem to say if she has filed for divorce on unreasonable behaviour grounds then the court would generally order the respondant to pay costs.
> 
> feel like i should get legal advice as i have to have the form back within a week?


I would contact a lawyer. They give you a free consultation. If you're unsure its definitely best to ask someone to look it over.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Refuse to sign. If she wants a D that badly, she will alter the petition. If you don’t want it, you should definitely not pay for it. And certainly don’t sign anything that says things that are not true. She may use the fact that you signed, and thereby agreed with what it says against you with family and friends.

Start investigating as to when the affair started. You may not be able to afford it now, but later on you could apply for the D on the grounds of infidelity. You may never have to use the information, but knowing that you have it may change her tune. That may sound mean, but it sounds like she is not playing fair. 

And do go for that free consultation. Go in with a list of specific questions as they start charging after the free session is up.


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## lonelyguy33 (Jun 9, 2013)

I dont beleive there was a affair whilst we were together but i do beleive that there may have been texting n calls between them. She suffers from a life threatening condition so I know she has been either house bound with people i know when i havent been there or she has been in hospital both prior to the seperation.
If i contest the divorce then that starts incurring lots of extra costs for me!
it asks on the form if i accept what she says in the sttement as been true. I suppose i can quite clearlt put there that I deny all alegations as they are false. And on the part where it asks if I deny paying for costs then i could put that i wanted to save the marriage through therapy etc but she was unwilling which could be to do with recent events that have come to light. And as this divorce is what she wants against my wishes based on false alegations then i am nat happy to pay costs.
????


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