# Is it true that if a wife loves her husband,and gets good sex she wont cheat?



## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Would you agree with this statement?
Is it true that if a woman loves her husband passionately and is getting good sex she wont cheat?But if a man loves his wife passionately and is getting good sex than plenty of men will still cheat?What do you think?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

No.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

No.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

no


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

no


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

No.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

No.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

No, no and no.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Both women and men will cheat even if they are having good sex in the marriage.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

C'mon, somebody here has to believe this?


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Wow,hardly anyone elaborated on their answer


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Wow,hardly anyone *elaborated *on their answer


How about F**K no?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Wow,hardly anyone elaborated on their answer


No need.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ok, I'll elaborate.

There are so many reasons people cheat. Usually it is not because the sex was bad in the marriage, though that might be a reason, it isn't the top one.

#1 reason people cheat: Poor Boundaries.

Which has nothing to do with the sex they are getting or not getting.


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## Skate Daddy 9 (Sep 19, 2011)

Your question (or statement) assumes that infidelity is all about sex. I am sure there are a million reasons why people cheat but I think it usual has something to do with filling a missing void in your current relationship.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Skate Daddy 9 said:


> Your question (or statement) assumes that infidelity is all about sex. I am sure there are a million reasons why people cheat but I think it usual has something to do with filling a missing void in your current relationship.


See, that's the underlying thought...women, if there is no void, if they are happy and their needs are met, won't cheat. Men, even if their needs are met and no void stillwill. Both are very false, hence the string of emphatic No's to start this thread.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> See, that's the underlying thought...women, if there is no void, if they are happy and their needs are met, won't cheat


Yeah,that's what I was asking.If a woman truly is in love with husband passionately,will she still cheat,not just the sex.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Yeah,that's what I was asking.If a woman truly is in love with husband passionately,will she still cheat,not just the sex.


Yes.


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

No. 

I think there is more to it than loving someone and having great sex. 

What about being loved and fullfilling each others needs?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Even if everything is great, sometimes the attraction of someone/something different (_novelty_) is sufficient motivation.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

NO.

Some people will cheat no matter how wonderful their spouse and life is.

Some people will never cheat no matter how badly their spouse treats them and how unhappy their marriage is.

I did read a quote the other day...kinda fits in with this thread....

" A woman cheats to find a soul mate. A man cheats to find a play mate."

I know we can't talk in absolutes... but we do see a lot of info saying men and women cheat for different reasons.


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## mitzi (Oct 8, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Both women and men will cheat even if they are having good sex in the marriage.


I don't agree totally on that. I truly believe that a Women would not cheat if She loves Her husband and is getting good sex at home.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

mitzi said:


> I don't agree totally on that. I truly believe that a Women would not cheat if She loves Her husband and is getting good sex at home.


I'm sure your statement is true with woman/men who have a moral compass. 




some people are just selfish man or woman it does not matter. they are narcissists. the thrill of some new attractive person giving them attention. Coupled with they think they are smarter and won't get caught. and then justifying it by putting their wife/husband under a microscope and blowing every flaw out of proportion.


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## mitzi (Oct 8, 2013)

waiwera said:


> mitzi I would have said the same thing a few years ago.
> 
> But since I've been on TAM I've lost count of the women on here talking about how much they have effed up.
> 
> ...



I can understand where you are coming from. I do believe more Women would stay if their husbands had affairs more then men would stay in the marriage. I wouldn't stay but no plenty of Women who have.


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## mitzi (Oct 8, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> I'm sure your statement is true with woman/men who have a moral compass.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


True - I guess you couldn't have really truly loved that person in that case. I can see In some case if there wasn't sex in the marriage. That really does effect a spouse at least speaking from a Women's point. If your Man isn't satisfying you sexually and you've tried doing everything you could to change it, they are going to go and find someone that can give them that piece that's missing.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:rofl: @ first page


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

Nope!!!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*No truth to it whatsoever! For whatever reason, valid or invalid, a good percentage in the minority of either sex will still find a justifiable reason to stray from their spouse!*


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

No. People in general cheat just because. I read on a cheaters forum, a guy cheated on his wife because she averaged 6 weeks between sex sessions. But when they did it was a 2 day non stop porn fvck feast. 

Another guy cheated on his wife because her time of the month was a week. They fvcked like bunnies any other time, just not during her time of the month. They can be called "cake eaters"

Some people have very reg sex. But the new relationship lust has long since worn off, so they cheat to feel that feeling of first time of things, sex and dating. 

A (I feel) large portion of people cheat because of lack of sex, but it's not the only reason.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Not true!

My chick loved me, and I gave her the good stuff, but after that I was done and had sh1t to do.

So...love and sex are major players in a marriage, you gatta have boundries and responsiblity for each others!

With resonsiblity comes commanding respect, and having the balls to make the one you love face the consequences for when boundries are crossed. And if you don't have the balls to make your spouse face consequences then said spouse becomes spoiled and disrespectful.

BTW...it don;t matter if its a wife or a husband....You gatta keep your sh1t tight and have boundries, cuz love and sex are just half of it!

Thers is so much other crap involved ...like resentment, lack of comms, and even one self respect and self esteem....at the end of the day phuckers will walk all over you if you start tolorating their sh1t...so at the end of the day its all about boundries and consequences...cuz love and sex is just half of it!


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

OP go to the private section and read Rdmu's two threads.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Would you agree with this statement?
> Is it true that if a woman loves her husband passionately and is getting good sex she wont cheat?But if a man loves his wife passionately and is getting good sex than plenty of men will still cheat?What do you think?



I think men and women only cheat when their sexual needs aren't being met for a long time and they're sexually starved, weak and when they meet that hot man or women, they fail, flirt, and have sex.

If their sexual needs and fantasies were taken care of, the weakness and temptation wouldn't be there.

So, would I cheat on my wife if she was fit, dressed sexy and had a high adventurous sex drive? Not in a million years!!!

Would I cheat if I am sexually starved? Nope. Got other ways to relieve myself besides going out and meeting hot and horny ladies who want friends with benefits.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

to the OP, nop is a lie



waiwera said:


> They love their hubby and have a great marriage but 'got caught up in the moment' or whatever bull manure excuse they choose to give.... and cheated.
> 
> Sadly most of their husbands can't handle the betrayal in what they thought was a happy marriage.


well you have to understand that men since childhood learn that the men who have many women at the same time are cool worth to be admired (kind of charlie Harper in the old two and a half man). 

so we grow and forge our character, being faithful or not (pretty much our relationships in high school define this).

the ones who choice to be faithful, still got presured by friends, cooworkers, even family to not be *"stupid"* being loyal to one woman, 

Then imagine you are loyal, you think you have a happy marriage, lots of sex, lots of communication and love, and pum she cheat's on you, you feel like every peroson who told during your live to fool around to not to be loyal was right, and now you feel like Alan Harper (and nobody wants to be Alan Harper).


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Its been my experience that sex is the payment for the friendship a spouse show their AP.

Sexual needs can be met (sex is sex) but if the distance is there and intamcy is lacking..then a "friend" is worth its wiegth in gold when your spouse is that far gone.

I mean you can love some one , and you can have sex, but there will always be the choice to cheat on the one you love.

Come on guys/girls...new love, taboo, weakness....hell the list goes on ...**** some time folks are just broken and can never figure out why they did the sh1t they did.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Iv'e read a few rare threads were the betrayed had a perfect gig and their spouse still screwed around.
Be it love or sex if your messed up your messed up.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Jack I said:


> Would you agree with this statement?
> Is it true that if a woman loves her husband passionately and is getting good sex she wont cheat?But if a man loves his wife passionately and is getting good sex than plenty of men will still cheat?What do you think?


No.

However, having a good marriage with a healthy sex life reduces many risks. Along with this must go solid boundaries. People fall into EAs not intending to every day.

Read His Needs her Needs with your spouse and set some solid boundaries. Also improve intimacy. date each other and spend plenty of time together to keep the flow of both oxytocin and dopamine going. Affairs are powerful addictions that trump good intentions.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mitzi said:


> I don't agree totally on that. I truly believe that a Women would not cheat if She loves Her husband and is getting good sex at home.


You left out something important.. I she is not getting her needs met by her husband he is more likely to cheat.

She could love her husband and be crazy about him.

They have good sex.

But he mistreats her otherwise, spends no quality time with the outside of sex... so in this case he is not acting like he loves her.

there is a high probability that she will leave him eventually... and have an affair on the way out.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> I think men and women only cheat when their sexual needs aren't being met for a long time and they're sexually starved, weak and when they meet that hot man or women, they fail, flirt, and have sex.
> 
> If their sexual needs and fantasies were taken care of, the weakness and temptation wouldn't be there.
> 
> ...


This is not true for some people. There are people who cheat even when they have plenty of hot sex (like daily) at home. Some people just want to cheat. I know this as I've lived through it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> This is not true for some people. There are people who cheat even when they have plenty of hot sex (like daily) at home. Some people just want to cheat. I know this as I've lived through it.



What would make someone go out and cheat when they're getting good sex at home?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CuddleBug said:


> What would make someone go out and cheat when they're getting good sex at home?


There are people who do this.. many are serial cheaters.

From what I can tell, they like the game, and they want their egos stroked by as many others as possible, just getting strange, ...

There are many people who cheat even while they are in marriages where they get all the sex they want at home, have loving spouses and good marriages.

They are broken people.

Affairs are not only about sex. They are often more about other things.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Infidelity is a monster that lurks in maybe all of us?
Sometimes the monster needs a big push to come out, sometimes just a nudge. 
Some people seem to starve and actively try to kill the monster, while others feed it and encourage it to grow.

I realized early on that I might be able to be unfaithful in a marriage, so I starved and killed that monster before it ever had a chance. I hate infidelity and what it does, I think most do, but they don't take steps to kill the monster before it comes out of them.
Maybe they want to believe the lie that it could never happen to them. They are the most deceived of all and the most caught by surprise when they find themselves with another mans penis in them or in another womans vagina.

Woman are as human in every aspect like men, they are just feminine about it.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> I think men and women only cheat when their sexual needs aren't being met for a long time and they're sexually starved, weak and when they meet that hot man or women, they fail, flirt, and have sex.
> 
> If their sexual needs and fantasies were taken care of, the weakness and temptation wouldn't be there.
> 
> ...


They are not you though. Some people don't care and will cheat because they can, for the thrill of it, some are still dabbling in the pickup scene.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mitzi (Oct 8, 2013)

Well ya that too but if She is miss treated by Her man, then I wouldn't say She could totally love Him. I was in an abusive marriage. It was the best sex I had but he was a douche and put me through a wall more then once. I fell out of love with Him fast and yes I found someone on the side that gave me the attention that I longed for.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

A lot of people have given some good responses.Some of you may not fully understand the question.I'm saying when a woman is truly in love,when her needs are being met emotionally,physically,sexually,etc,and both partners are being fulfilled.And there is no void whatsoever in the marriage,her husband is funny,attentive,supportive and she enjoys his company.I'm asking in that situation,is it a true that most women won't cheat.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Depends on the person. Some folks are cake eaters. Some want that new relationship lust. 

For some people, that rush of a new relation ship out weighs all the sex, and love, and romance in a "old" relationship. Some people don't like the comfort of a relationship, they need the constant rush of chemicals that only a new relationship can bring. 

You can't go back in time and have first time sex with a husband/wife...but with a new person everything is new again. The sex, the dating, the romance, the getting to know a person. 

So fvcking YES, a person in a happy, secure, sex filled marriage will still cheat. I know what you are saying. Im saying, I've read a lot of affair boards, some people have "great" marriages, but it comfy and lived in. So they step out. For newness.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Jack I said:


> A lot of people have given some good responses.Some of you may not fully understand the question.I'm saying when a woman is truly in love,when her needs are being met emotionally,physically,sexually,etc,and both partners are being fulfilled.And there is no void whatsoever in the marriage,her husband is funny,attentive,supportive and she enjoys his company.I'm asking in that situation,is it a true that most women won't cheat.


Yes, of course and the same could be said for most men, right? There are people that systematically cheat for variety purposes only! I know 2 women and multiple men that have good marriages, do fun things, these people would never get divorced! On business trips there is some philandering. Usually the women just drink and flirt sometimes more, but the guys are clearly looking for a hookup and often do. These aren't ongoing just business trip flings never to be talked about again. Then they come home as if nothing happened it's very common. I truly believe there is a difference between this type of cheating and someone who sees, talks to, and spends time with the same person week in and week out.

There is no guarantee in anything. Happiness comes from within!


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Pas Monsieur


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Jack I said:


> A lot of people have given some good responses.Some of you may not fully understand the question.I'm saying when a woman is truly in love,when her needs are being met emotionally,physically,sexually,etc,and both partners are being fulfilled.And there is no void whatsoever in the marriage,her husband is funny,attentive,supportive and she enjoys his company.I'm asking in that situation,is it a true that most women won't cheat.


No guarantees in this world sunshine


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> *On business trips there is some philandering. Usually the women just drink and flirt sometimes more, but the guys are clearly looking for a hookup and often do.*


*To a certain extent, I would heartily believe that contingent upon the amount of natural male hormones that a woman might have within her body, and which of course can vary from woman to woman, that they, too, can subscribe to your above theory of looking for a hookup on business trips, just as her male counterparts are moreso capable of doing.

And, conversely, there are guys out there on that same business trip who are well aware of their marital boundaries who will drink and flirt and nothing more!*


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

As a former hound and part-time escort and whose been with many married girls, my experience is that a woman who has a high romantic interest in her man won't cheat. I'm sure they may be exceptions.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

ThePheonix said:


> As a former hound and part-time escort and whose been with many married girls, my experience is that a woman who has a high romantic interest in her man won't cheat. I'm sure they may be exceptions.


I'm screwed in that case


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Skate Daddy 9 said:


> Your question (or statement) assumes that infidelity is all about sex. I am sure there are a million reasons why people cheat but I think it usual has something to do with filling a missing void in your current relationship.


I think mostly trying to fill a void in themselves

Seeking validation

Poor self esteem

Seeking attention

or all the above

But Sex no not in the abstract


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

EleGirl said it...affairs are not always about sex, even if the affair includes sex. People cheat for many different reasons, and people react to the affair in many different ways. Some who cheat feel horrible the entire time; some people may feel guilty, but continue to pursue the affair; some people could care less about their actions. 

There are far too many variables to say that love and a good sex life will keep anyone from cheating, female or male. Certainly a happy marriage, a fulfilling marriage, and a mutually satisfying sex live can lessen the chances of an affair, but there are those who want they want no matter the cost, and will always make the selfish choice.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

just got it 55 said:


> *I think mostly trying to fill a void in themselves*


*Yeah! I believe that was my XW's excuse! More especially with who it was that she was trying to covertly fill "that void" of hers with!*


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Even if everything is great, sometimes the attraction of someone/something different (_novelty_) is sufficient motivation.


this...people seem to need to find the reasons why and affix blame...often the reasons why someone cheated are created AFTER the indiscretion...to JUSTIFY, NOT clarify...

people get horny, caught up in the moment, ...and thats a one night stand...sex...putting yourself in bad situations doesnt help (drinking at the bars for example)

an emotional affair or a long drawn out physical affair is something different...there is usually something wrong or missing for this to happen imo...


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Jack I said:


> Would you agree with this statement?
> Is it true that if a woman loves her husband passionately and is getting good sex she wont cheat?But if a man loves his wife passionately and is getting good sex than plenty of men will still cheat?What do you think?


Hmm, well why would they if they already have the best of both worlds? Why cheat if you're passionately in love and are having great sex??


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

Jack I said:


> A lot of people have given some good responses.Some of you may not fully understand the question.I'm saying when a woman is truly in love,when her needs are being met emotionally,physically,sexually,etc,and both partners are being fulfilled.And there is no void whatsoever in the marriage,her husband is funny,attentive,supportive and she enjoys his company.I'm asking in that situation,is it a true that most women won't cheat.


In theory, no, a woman should not need to or want to cheat, given those parameters. Same should apply to a man as well. 

But that's just theory. How many partners are truly fulfilled on all levels in their marraige?


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Any person is capable of cheating given the right circumstances.

I'm sure there are people out there who screw up their great relationships on purpose by cheating.

I had a long-term boyfriend that I later found out was cheating on me from day one. He would always have a lady waiting on the side because he was so scared of being alone. His mother abandoned him when he was 4. I'm talking about just leaving him in the house until his dad came home from work. His mom had never tried to contact him either, he was in his late 20's when we dated and he'd never gotten a bday card or phone call in all those years.

Not to make excuses for him - just an illustration that sometimes you can give a person 100% and they still have their messed up reasons for doing things. 

Fidelity is a gift. All can change in an instant. Appreciate the love and fidelity you are shown because it is a choice.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Cheating is like eating. You can love eating at home. You can love the taste of that food, the texture, the varied menu. BUT, you love going out to eat at different restaurants. You like the taste of new, strange, different. Sex is no different. Those that don't cheat are those that have made it a conscience effort to resist the urge. They have decided that monogamy and it's benefits are more important than than satisfying the natural urge that we all have, to varying degrees. In short, it is not natural for us to be monogamy. But those that put love, justice, and their significant other first do resist those natural urges and often benefit for doing so.


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