# Men, what age did this first or ever happen to you?



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I asked women at what age they first experienced an adult man leering at them. I’d like to gently ask men the same question. If people don’t want to answer, I totally get that and will just let the thread die.

I’m specifically asking about harassment or just that leering that makes you suddenly feel creeped out by this person.

As I said in my other thread, I’m not tying to trigger anyone or get into details of actual abuse and rape. But people can share that if they want.

I understand both men and women can be creepy and I personally know of a few stories about creepy adult or older teen women. So I’m not expecting only to hear about creepy men.

Is there a time you can remember seeing an adult look your body over with hungry eyes, and you knew suddenly what their intention was?


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

I was about 20 when I first noticed it. Mostly because there was no way to not noticed a woman say; "I want some of that". While staring right at me.

I will admit that I am effectively oblivious to this stuff unless someone shoves it in my face.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I've was hit on / mildly harassed by gay guys a couple of time around age 18, if it happened before I never noticed. I've never been harassed by women.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

leftfield said:


> I was about 20 when I first noticed it. Mostly because there was no way to not noticed a woman say; "I want some of that". While staring right at me.
> 
> I will admit that I am effectively oblivious to this stuff unless someone shoves it in my face.


*Like @leftfield , I was out of college working at an oilfield company in Houston, when a secretary ogled me and brazenly said that she would like some of that!

A combination of my sophomoric stupidity and her being six kinds of ugly kept me from pursuing that venue!

I was ultra-picky about who I pulled my pants down for in those days!

Not that I ain't today!*


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Dudes been checking me out since I was 16 and playing in bars. 
Dudes are creepy.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Late teens.
Many times in my mid to late 20s.
Last time I noticed it was in my early 40s.

Mostly women, but a few of those times, especially in my late 30s, it was other men.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

I will let you know as soon as it happens!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I've never really felt creeped out by women.

There were some unscrupulous women that I noticed as early as 13 but I never felt threatened by them.

When I was 18 I got seriously duped by a much older gay dude and didn't realize the situation I was in until we were watching a movie in his house and things got weird. I awkwardly got myself out of it and made sure to show up at his business, a video rental store, with attractive female friends on my arm so he would have no doubt about our relationship. We lived in the same neighborhood and I would not be able to avoid him.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Not being uncooperative, merely trying to provide a more comprehensive picture:

When I was 6, our 10 year old neighbor made a very direct pass at me. I didn’t understand what he was doing, but when I quietly declined to proceed he didn’t pursue it. I was VERY LUCKY he didn’t hurt me. 

At 18 after a night drinking a guy made a pass at me by tackling me. He was maybe 40. I’m not gay and had given him no reason to think I was interested. Luckily his friend pulled him off me. 





Faithful Wife said:


> I asked women at what age they first experienced an adult man leering at them. I’d like to gently ask men the same question. If people don’t want to answer, I totally get that and will just let the thread die.
> 
> I’m specifically asking about harassment or just that leering that makes you suddenly feel creeped out by this person.
> 
> ...


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I was about 9 when my male babysitter got undressed, made me get undressed and go in the kiddie pool with him. Nothing happened that I can recall. Interesting because this recently came up in IC and I hadn’t thought about it in years.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Conan,
You really ought teach a class on this at local religious institutions. Maybe call it: Navigating the modern world with integrity and safety





ConanHub said:


> I've never really felt creeped out by women.
> 
> There were some unscrupulous women that I noticed as early as 13 but I never felt threatened by them.
> 
> When I was 18 I got seriously duped by a much older gay dude and didn't realize the situation I was in until we were watching a movie in his house and things got weird. I awkwardly got myself out of it and made sure to show up at his business, a video rental store, with attractive female friends on my arm so he would have no doubt about our relationship. We lived in the same neighborhood and I would not be able to avoid him.


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

Faithful Wife said:


> Is there a time you can remember seeing an adult look your body over with hungry eyes, and you knew suddenly what their intention was?


Never been overly blatantly harassed - I suspect that most women who are odd enough to be interested see me, rightly, as someone who would be turned off by "that-sort-of-woman". 

A couple of situations I recall - A bank's regional director let me distract his tipsy Scandinavian trophy wife for an uncomfortable 20 minutes on a show stand when I was 27 and, 10 or so years later, my XW arranged that we attend a dinner party for four couples where I realised halfway through the dessert that I was expected to provide after-coffee entertainment for the other "ladies". 

Since late teens I've had the occasional encouragement, some welcomed, some amusing and some uncomfortable; nowadays I always act as though I've not noticed and politely move on a.s.a.p..


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

About 12...


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Is there a time you can remember seeing an adult look your body over with hungry eyes, and you knew suddenly what their intention was?


I can't say that I've ever felt this kind of leering towards me from an inappropriately aged adult. I can't say if it's because it didn't happen or because I didn't notice it. There was a time in my early teens when a guy in the arcade said I'd be a good model and I should go to his house so he could take pictures. At the time I didn't understand his true intentions and didn't get any weird vibes about how he was looking at me. But my mom sure knew what he meant when I later told her about it. If I dug through my memories I might be able to come up with a handful of things like that, but it has never been any sort of issue that I've even noticed it.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Same as above. It might have happened but it's something I've never been in tune with. 

Happened to my son when he was 8. Wife and kids were out at a mall or similar I dont remember. I was at work. He told my wife who told me. He said when he went into the restroom there was a man in there just standing not using the stalls or anything. He said he walked in and the entire time that man was just staring at him. My son goes to pee, then the man used the urinal next to him and was staring down at him. Ethan quickly hurried up and got out of there. He was uncomfortable, but being 8 he doesn't know why. He told my wife because he had to tell someone why he didn't wash his hands. 0 

They use the family restroom now for the most part. Which is fine because we have always been a doors open family. Not by rule but we just dont shut doors in our house. Well, my wife and I sometimes shut and lock our door :wink2:


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

I was overweight for a good part of childhood. At one point, at 15, I decided to focus like crazy on losing weight, and I did. I suddenly was getting attention from girls at school, including the most beautiful girl in the school.

After having lost the weight, I walked over to my best friend’s house. His mom answered the door and looked stunned. I could tell she was attracted to the new me. She’d walk around in an oversized t-shirt or nightgown much of the time, often sipping on a glass of boxed wine.

She’d say things like, “I didn’t have sex until I was married at 18. It was so fun, if I’d have known, I’d have definitely started sooner.”

“Do you want to sit on the waterbed? It’s fun to roll around on it.”

“I always tell my sons that it’s okay, as long as you use a condom.”

She talked about her sexual needs and how it was hard to find a guy with a strong libido. [This was late 80s, pre-internet, Tinder, etc.] There were times I’d go over to his house when I’d learn he wasn’t there and we’d just talk.

I pretended not to know what she was suggesting. I’ve always wondered whether my friend knew what she was doing. We never talked about it.

I was totally cool with women checking me out. (They are usually discrete but you can definitely see it when you wear sunglasses and your face isn’t pointed in their direction.) But she wasn’t just an adult woman, she was my friend’s mom. Awkward!

I also have an uncle whose first time was with a female babysitter.

My wife’s paternal grandfather was 13 when the principal walked in and caught him banging the teacher on her desk. The teacher was fired for that. (He was a sex machine and had lots of families, bigamy, etc.) After he abandoned my FIL and his family, my FIL and his two brothers craved male attention. A man showed fatherly affection to the three of them: their Catholic priest. Nuff said about that.

My brother loved to fish. Still does. When he was a boy, a man befriended him in our neighborhood. He told my brother that there was an amazing fishing spot in the lake in the woods behind the X horse farm. My brother mentioned it to an older male cousin who lived next door to us, and he saw my cousin tell the older males and they had a whispered discussion. Apparently the guy was a known molester. The guy was never seen again. (He thinks they killed him, or at least scared him off. All of the adult men, including my father, claim no recollection of this.) My brother later went down to the horse farm, walked into the woods behind it, and learned there was no body of water in there.

There was a house near my mother’s neighborhood with a guy who handed out candy. They were warned not to go to that man’s house. My mother didn’t but some of the girls did.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I was 15, when I realized it the first time. When women in the work places and bars were looking, and commenting I first noticed a certain constancy in types of looks.

We did go to local bars time to time when younger. If one was over 6' one could easily go on in.

I'd realized how HS girls acted, and had "crossed the river" already, but didn't think it stretched to older women yet, until the first time it hit me in the face.

It was downhill ever since ❤❤❤.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I will say that my mother was enraged when she found out women were creeping on me even though I wasn't bothered. She was extremely protective of me if she was aware of women creepers.


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## Music Lover (Feb 9, 2016)

At the age of 15 or 16, I caught a girl staring at my crutch while I was talking to her and the guy she was with. It did not feel good - it was like she was sizing me up. Fortunately, it's not something that has happened much since.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

****


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I don't think I've ever had a guy leer or make an advance at me. As for women, I can't recall any cases either outside of relationships.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

When I was 13 my step fathers cousin made a move on me and tried to touch me in an inappropriate way. I made a scene and that was the last time that ever happened.

When I was in my late 20s I had a women at work who was probably 10-15 years older them me like me, one time she made a comment on my ass as I was walking out to my car for lunch. It made me uncomfortable actually.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Hitch hiking to work so it must have been 17'ish. Middle aged (or older) male, made an 'offer' which I declined :nono:

First and only time per the original question.


> Is there a time you can remember seeing an adult look your body over with hungry eyes, and you knew suddenly what their intention was?


 Maybe there were others but I am just oblivious? Can't ever recall such an awareness about a female, at least not unwanted .


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Around 3 or 4


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Around 13 I think, the girl was 21 or so. Kind of a funny story.

My parents never explained the whole sex thing to me in a way I understood, so I had yet to figure it all out. The girl in question was my Jiu Jitsu sparring partner, and, well, I ended up in her guard (linked for those who don't know what that is). I had an erection at the time, and not knowing all the sex stuff, thought nothing of it. But, it was pressed into her... nether regions. When we stopped and took a break, she make the comment "my groin is on fire". I thought it was a pretty strange thing to say at the time, lol. But looking back, I laugh and shake my head.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Fozzy said:


> Around 3 or 4


Oh, my!

Do you mean, say, pretty young women who can tell that you are sexually attracted to them? You were flirting with them, displaying your favorite toys and showing off the cool things you can do to impress them, and they are looking/talking with you in an amused but flirtatious way?

Or something more sinister?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

CraigBesuden said:


> Oh, my!
> 
> Do you mean, say, pretty young women who can tell that you are sexually attracted to them? You were flirting with them, displaying your favorite toys and showing off the cool things you can do to impress them, and they are looking/talking with you in an amused but flirtatious way?
> 
> Or something more sinister?


Nope, it was abuse.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

CraigBesuden said:


> Oh, my!
> 
> Do you mean, say, pretty young women who can tell that you are sexually attracted to them? You were flirting with them, displaying your favorite toys and showing off the cool things you can do to impress them, and they are looking/talking with you in an amused but flirtatious way?
> 
> Or something more sinister?


Is this supposed to be funny?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Older women were openly flirting and checking me out when I was 17-18. Alot of them were at church. 

One was a much older neighbor lady who made a pass at me after I pulled her car out of a ditch. It freaked me out... but she was hot so I shagged her.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> I asked women at what age they first experienced an adult man leering at them. I’d like to gently ask men the same question. If people don’t want to answer, I totally get that and will just let the thread die.
> 
> I’m specifically asking about harassment or just that leering that makes you suddenly feel creeped out by this person.
> 
> ...


It started with me at 14 or 15, and my only memories were of women doing it. I don't remember ever being creeped out by it, except if married women would make comments about me. Even worse was when they'd do it with their husband right there. But I guess being honest I was mostly proud of it at the time.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Fozzy said:


> Nope, it was abuse.


I'm so sorry, Foz. ****. A lot of tough stories coming out lately. I'm so sorry.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Marduk said:


> I'm so sorry, Foz. ****. A lot of tough stories coming out lately. I'm so sorry.


I made peace with it a long time ago. I have all new and exciting problems to deal with now. It does inform how and with whom I let my kids interact. They’ve all been cautioned and we foster an environment where they’re safe to tell us stuff. That was not so common back in the day.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Faithful Wife said:


> Is this supposed to be funny?


No. I was describing something that happened to me and I believe is totally common. For example, a SIL would refer to my young nephew doing this, what she calls “flirting” with pretty women. You might look back in time and think that was weird, but the adults are just playing around.

In retrospect, I should have just asked if we are talking about women looking or something more.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

CraigBesuden said:


> No. I was describing something that happened to me and I believe is totally common. For example, a SIL would refer to my young nephew doing this, what she calls “flirting” with pretty women. You might look back in time and think that was weird, but the adults are just playing around.
> 
> In retrospect, I should have just asked if we are talking about women looking or something more.


And if this was the case, why would Fozzy post it on this thread at all?


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

Ignore this post.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

BruceBanner said:


> I've had at least three girls try to force me to be their boyfriend. The first two were best friends and at first I thought they were playing or joking around with me when they started arguing over me. I soon realized that they were actually being serious. Eventually one of them sort of "gave up" and the other one kept pursuing until I officially rejected her. The female teacher got mad at me for this. This whole ordeal came out of the blue and I had barely talked to any of these girls beforehand. The third girl was from a completely different school and was aggressive to the point of touching me and smacking my ass frequently in front of other classroom members when none of the teacher's were around.
> 
> When I used to live in an apartment in Dallas *the oldest Hispanic daughter of my mother's friend* who lived above us made a few comments on my appearance and even wrestled me to the ground once with her family members in the living room excluding her mother. There was another time I met the oldest daughter of another one of my mother's friends who lived near us and she incessantly told me how cute I was in the car we were in at the time. All of this happened when I was in middle school. The first girl was out of highschool and probably in her early twenties and the second girl was in highschool. Also when I was in middle school but at a different school from the one I was in in the first paragraph there were two girls that started acting more friendly and talkative with me out of the blue.
> 
> ...


What does the ethnicity of these girls have to do with any of this?


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> What does the ethnicity of these girls have to do with any of this?


It's just something I noticed and found strange. I've had a lot of hispanic girls who seem to develop interest in me. No offense to anyone. I didn't even expect girls with the same race as me to be interested so to see other girls from other races interested in me was strange and noteworthy.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Around 10/11 I guess. Old now so hard to remember all the details but it was a group of older girls, high school, who attacked me


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Actually, this thread has me intrigued. I want a few more responses before I give a few incidents. I was talking with a lady friend about perception and the differences between how we raise girls and boys.


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

The most memorable moment was a few years ago in April/May 2014. I'm a vendor, and I was at one of my accounts making an order when the cashier I had been talking to snuck up on me while I was leaning against an ice cream freezer and just started staring, and I didn't even know she was there until I turned to my left. I wouldn't call it creepy, but it was weird.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> I've never really felt creeped out by women.
> 
> When I was 18 I got seriously duped by a much older gay dude and didn't realize the situation I was in until we were watching a movie in his house and things got weird. I awkwardly got myself out of it


Damn Conan I had virtually the same thing happen to me cept I was 16 and we were hunting. I had no idea the guy was gay since he was married. I'd killed the SOB (or I'd been dead one)
if he'd tried anything stupid.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

First accounting job I was bent over a printer getting a report off and the secretary calmly turned around in her chair and tweaked my ass.

I was like huh, did what I think happened just happen? 

She was pretty young maybe 20 or so.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

I don't recall a woman ever leering at me, and I was pretty good-looking back in the day. Related to that, I've heard women grousing about being sexual objects. I'd like to be a sexual object.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

I'm still waiting or oblivious, one or the other.


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