# boy did I screw up, or did I



## millmant (Dec 23, 2009)

I feel bad the I insulted my soon to be ex w. 

how it all came about was we were talking about our wedding album and what she would do with it. What really upset and offended me was the cavalier way she respond to the question that she would keep the wedding album for my daughter. Well what about herself? It's like she's saying that our marriage was a mistake and therefore our children were mistakes.

I think I took things that she said out of context, but the damage is done, even though I sincerely apologized for insulting her. Doesn't she realize that I'm the one that is insulted when she says, well my parents were divorced and look at me and my sister, we are doing OK. The real response I want to give her, yeah, look just how OK you are. Your sister got a divorce and now you're going through a divorce. Now you're condemning my children to that same future?

I know kids do OK, but until my wife faces some of her problem, I don't know how she thinks we can be effective parents. You know, when the time gets rough, what she just going to pass the kid to me? Already, she is butting heads with the 7 year old daughter. I have better control, but she does have some problems that the mom can't handle.

Maybe you can tell, I'm hurt and pissed at the soon to be ex w. What a long and hard road this is going to be.


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## cpt_confused (Dec 29, 2009)

I feel for you... These times are not easy, especially when our wives act so non-challant about our pasts together - it's very hurtful to us.. I think it is a coping mechanism for them... If they have convince themselves that the past was so bad, then what they are doing now is justified.. but in fact they are delusional.. It's sad, and it tears us apart..

I really feel your pain.. hang in there and stay strong..


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## whyminvrsatsfd (Nov 28, 2009)

Look up A.C.O.D.P. It explains a lot. Children of divorce are NOT okay and live in constant CHAOS. They never know whats going to happen next and are kind of "callused" to relationships cause it's always subconsciously there, that the relationship wont be. To break the cycle for your own child, always be there. No matter how difficult your ex makes it. She is not going to realize its whats best for the child, she'll just react to what she herself is going through as most people getting divorced do. Anything your daughter tells you about your ex and her friends or family or life...DONT REACT!! It hurts your daughters self esteem. She is a part of her. If you get a girlfriend, keep your one on one time with your daughter. Her self worth will boom and prevent future abusive relationships, teen pregnancy, and or even divorce herself. All this is easier said than done of course....but hopefully being a little informed about things will prevent some future damage. :0)


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

You gotta give your ex some credit. Several of my friends didn't even keep their wedding albums or any pictures. They tossed them all out, lost forever. At least she is going to keep them. For what reason, it doesn't really matter. I am gonna go on a limb here, but maybe she didn't want to feel vulnerable and say she wanted to keep it for herself, so she just said for your child. Could be, but who knows.
Hope it works out somehow and best of luck in all of this!!


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