# Vindicated



## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I don't know how many of you know my story, but it was a pretty crazy year... 

Some of the things that happened were so outlandish and dareIsay fantastic that I would understand if anyone here didn't believe me. 

Julie is gone. The divorce was finalized months ago, and then I moved to Tampa, FL to start over. In the past few months I have healed at an insane rate. Getting out of the apartment did wonders for me and I have been among friends and family, along with a strong and soothing church. I am 31 years old and have been fervently praying for so long, begging for guidance and relief, relief that for a long time I believed was never coming. 

For the first few months after my wife left, leaving a note informing me that she had cheated on me, I wanted nothing more than to have her back. I sobbed and screamed, begging God to have her just walk around the corner. I fantasized about her and in the daze between consciousness and sleep pretended that she was sleeping in my arms. I refused to put her towel in the laundry, insisting that I would never do so until she came back. I screeched in agony every time one of her hairs got caught between my toes as I walked through our home. 

You need to understand that I was so alone, so depressed and lost that I actually developed the trimmings of a relationship with the dehumidifier in my basement-- it being the only other thing in the building that made noise. I told her that I loved her knowing that she couldn't hear me. I kept the dining room clean, waiting for the day when she would tell me she was sorry and wanted to try to fix things. 

And then a seething, hideous rage burned within me. My brother, who was in the SF found her almost immediately after she left, but didn't do anything because I begged him not to. My mercy left me. I found both her and the POS she had slept with-- a chubby-faced loser who worked with special needs adults- a Steelers fan, and a pitiful excuse I could snap in half with my bare hands. I breathed smoke and hated. I almost had the two of them eliminated via my brother's connections. 

I would be lying if I said that I do not still sometimes get angry about their decision to sin against me.

But the good news is that today, I am happy. For the past six months I have been happy. I have come so far, and healed so much. Because I have come through this, endured so much pain, I am able to perceive and experience joy and pleasure more so than I was before, and more so than most people will ever be graced with. It is difficult to explain except to say that when you live in shadow you can better understand light. If all you've ever known is light, it is not light. It just simply is. 

I still have the connections I need to look Julie up, but the plain and simple fact is that I just don't care any more. For the rest of my life, I am able to say that I was a faithful and loving husband, and that I did not want to destroy my marriage. Wherever she is, she will, for the rest of her life, have to endure the reality that she was the one who is the destroyer of good, Godly things. Wherever she goes, the ghosts of her actions will follow. 

I have a new life, a new church and a new job. Best of all I just recently started dating a wonderful 21-year old girl who is a nurse. She's highly intelligent, educated and moral. And fun fun, she is totally into me, and I in her. I have to say that this time last year I never thought that I would ever feel what I feel at this exact moment. To ever feel love again, is something that I for many nights had thought impossible. But I have felt true restoration from God. I have been given a new chance to find happiness, love and true, untainted peace. 

I tell you this to let all of you know... all those who are hurting... the pain, the horrible blinding stabbing pain that cripples you in ways you cannot explain or even fully perceive-- 

*Morning light shall burst bright*.

Every twinge of betrayal, the despair, the sadness, the insane frothing desire to reclaim the one you love, the horrible debilitating reality of knowing they will never love you as much as you love them, the smoke that pours from your nose in fury as you curse them and snap your teeth at them...

I have felt every bit of it, and I tell you now- morning is coming. This black awful night is infinite only until the first, smallest ray of white light pierces the horrible, horrible mire. The rising orb immolates everything around you and even you yourself. Your eyes hurt and the process is painful, it is the pulling of a tooth--
It hurts and hurts and hurts and then--
It doesn't hurt. 

And even though I know most of you only through this forum, I can tell you that one day we'll raise glasses together and bask in the Light that shines from His face. And we will understand the Light because we have known first the darkness. 

Morning light shall burst bright.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

"A chubby-faced loser who works with special needs kids"? That's kind of harsh... But I'm glad you both have moved on. Seems like it was for the best.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> "A chubby-faced loser who works with special needs kids"? That's kind of harsh... But I'm glad you both have moved on. Seems like it was for the best.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


May want to go back and try reading that again, Ma'am. 

I'm the one who moved on. Please don't cheer for cheats.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Kids/Adults either way does that really warrant petty name-calling? And when did I "cheer for cheats"? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> Kids/Adults either way does that really warrant petty name-calling? And when did I "cheer for cheats"?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Petty name-calling is pretty merciful given what this guy did. But if we want to boil down to it, it's not technically even name-calling. His face is chubby. He works with special-needs people. He's a loser because he lives with his parents and tries to destroy the relationships of those who do not live with their parents. 

Your disposition belies sympathy for people who cheat. The fact that I made an enormously positive post and you decided to nit-pick one passing minute detail is peculiar. Straining out gnats and swallowing camels is indicative that you either A) have never been cheated on, or B) have cheated on your own spouse.


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

WhiteMousse said:


> Petty name-calling is pretty merciful given what this guy did. But if we want to boil down to it, it's not technically even name-calling. His face is chubby. He works with special-needs people. He's a loser because he lives with his parents and tries to destroy the relationships of those who do not live with their parents.
> 
> Your disposition belies sympathy for people who cheat. The fact that I made an enormously positive post and you decided to nit-pick one passing minute detail is peculiar. Straining out gnats and swallowing camels is indicative that you either A) have never been cheated on, or B) have cheated on your own spouse.


I think it had to do something with the "special needs adults" part. At least, that's what I'm gathering from it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

Good job my man.

Healing and moving on are the best revenge.

By the way, you have earned the right to call this guy anything you want. People should understand and restrain their political correctness in this circumstance.

Hows the girl situation? I pray you find a like minded person and continue the awesome revenge of happiness.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I remember your posts. Glad you are healing.

Actually, I feel some sympathy for the special needs adults he works with. Do they deserve to be looked after by someone whose moral compass is set at: "I Haven't a clue" dude?" I don't think so.

Your ex-wife's actions are, sadly, typical of the spouse who, during their marriage, trades down when they have an affair.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

WhiteMousse said:


> Petty name-calling is pretty merciful given what this guy did. But if we want to boil down to it, it's not technically even name-calling. His face is chubby. He works with special-needs people. He's a loser because he lives with his parents and tries to destroy the relationships of those who do not live with their parents.
> 
> Your disposition belies sympathy for people who cheat. The fact that I made an enormously positive post and you decided to nit-pick one passing minute detail is peculiar. Straining out gnats and swallowing camels is indicative that you either A) have never been cheated on, or B) have cheated on your own spouse.


Wow. I wasn't comparing your sins with his or mine or anyone else's. I've never cheated on anyone, and yes, I have been cheated on. I know it hurts.

So, I comment on an action you took (followed by praise that you are well to move on), and I'M the one "swallowing camels and straining knats"? Ok, whatever you say.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

I nearly lost you on the dehumidifier but your post was uplifting - I especially needed that right now as the pain
is getting worse.

Thanks.


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## jay80_98 (Jul 14, 2012)

Now whose gonna keep the dehumidifer company?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jay80_98 said:


> Now whose gonna keep the dehumidifer company?


Send it the url for TAM. We'll look after it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

They have both moved on and the dehumidifier has someone else now and is happy.

But back to the celebration, good for you WM....I'l say it again....its not what knocks us down that matters, it how we get back up that counts.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

No one is name calling, the OM IS a POS. Good job, if I'm ever in FL I will buy you a meal!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> No one is name calling, the OM IS a POS. Good job, if I'm ever in FL I will buy you a meal!


Agreed. OM is a POS. I think what some are concerned about is the a "chubby-faced loser who worked with special needs adults". Working with special needs people doesn't make you a loser, and neither is being chubby faced. What makes him a loser is the fact that he was helping destroy a marriage. As for Steelers fan, well, I'm a Steelers fan too.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Glad to hear you've moved on and found some happiness.


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