# Caught husband in act.... I'm going CRAZY!



## peaceb2u (Jul 20, 2009)

Please help as this is the day after I just walked in on my husband in bed naked with another girl... make matters worse our 6 year old daughter was there as I saw. I walked up on them at His father office last night. We had been having problems but I never thought he could do this to me, us!! How? I feel like i am going crazy! I wanted to kill him and her! When i finally tried to bust down the door to the bedroom he held me back off her and push me out along with getting our daughter out of there- he shut the door and locked us out! I couldn't breathe, and I was trying so hard to stay calm and supress my anger, rage, heart attack!! for her but i couldn't- she was crying- we sat in the car as I thought honestly i was going to die- He came running out and got in her car and drove off to pick her up around the corner as I think she went out an alternate door to bypass me!!!! What is this? ARe we in highschool? This is my husband the man that never could do this! THIS WAS HIS BIRTHDAY - HE WAS JUST HOME WITH US 5 HOURS BEFORE AS WE MADE LOVE IN THE SHOWER and although we had been having issue and on the brink of separation- he kissed me and said he loved me and that it's all going to work out!!! WHAT??? then not even 5 hours later he is in some other woman???? My mind is going crazy? How did they have sex, was it better ? did she kiss him like i do, is it the same or what??? 
We are 26 years old and had a baby at 19 and were highschool sweethearts, our marriage has been rocky from the beginning and has needed help from the start but we have climed and made it over mountains in our young age !!! I don't understand! 
I love him so much! I didn't sleep at all last night just cried and everytime i would calm down all i could see was the two of them in bed together, i can't still stop thinking about it! I can't eat or drink anything i just want to wake up and know this was a bad dream.... he came home this morning but my mother would had came over last night to prevent me from doing anything - stopped him at the door this morning and told him that he needed to stay away for now- he said" well, i really messed it up now didn't i? " she said he started making excuses but then knew that he was wrong... this whole day has been a blur i've just walked around this house and cried and then would burst into rage- i took all his clothes and started tearing them apart but then started crying again because I love him!
Am i stupid for wanting to try still after all this ? 
I want my daughter to have a her father around.. hes my best friend and now i feel lost in this world? 
I want to talk to him and ask him all these questions- I really don't want him to leave- am i being so easy? I want to know why? and just really start over!
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!! I really am going crazy!


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

I have been there. Too many of us on this forum have.

Just breathe....take deep breaths. The answers will come at some point....the rage will subside eventually. 

I know it feels as though the world has fallen apart around you. Just breathe. 

This is too new for you to make any kind of rational choice about your relationship right now. Let it sink in. Start a list of questions you have that need to be answered. And request complete honesty. Make sure its clear to him that if there is even the slightest chance for fixing the marriage....he has to give a full honest confession.

Recovery from infidelity is possible....every situation is different. Just breathe....and don't forget to take care of yourself and your daughter.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I've never been there and I can only imagine how you feel... I can easily put myself in your place and the empathy is painful. 

Give yourself time. I think that's what you need most. Don't make any decisions. Wait until you calm down and can think. Right now you're fully in engaged in feeling overload. You can't possibly know what to do or what you want at the moment. 

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter.

Nobody deserves this. 

Nobody.


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## java (Jan 15, 2009)

Hang in there..I know it must be so painstaking for you. Love your daughter. Your husband made the choices on his own...don't rush any decision because it will all be out of emotions not clear thinking. Give it some time and space. Tell him you can't deal with him right now. Sounds like your mom is supportive. In time you will know what to do. Don't make rash decisions right now. She will always have her father no matter what. 

Post here as much as you need to...if you need to have a private conversation feel free to private message me. I am sorry you have to deal with this. Try to be strong and give your daughter love. It will help you and her...she probably knows something is terribly wrong but can't understand. Just be there for her and try to take care of yourself. "this too shall pass".


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## beyond betrayal (Jul 21, 2009)

I'm going through a similar situation. My daughter is 2 and although we didn't see it happen we were there. You are not crazy. These emotions you feel are normal. I thought I was nuts too. I know you don't want him to leave neither do I. But I'll tell you like someone told me. Take a bath, do your hair, put on your make up and be a lady no matter what. Take your daughter somewhere and treat yourself. Tell me if that makes you feel a little bit better. It sure helped me a little. We can get it together. I'll be thinking about you while I work today. I wish the best.


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## HURT&CONFUSED (Oct 14, 2008)

I know it may not seem like it now, but with time it will get better. I did not catch my husband in the act but I now have a 4 year old reminder of that infidelity. At that time, I thought I was gonna die. I felt my whole world ended. It was hard, but with each day it got better. Like the earlier post, get up and get out. You have someone that still needs her mom (I have 2 daughters). I decided to work it out and today we are doing good. We went to counseling and that helped. I can say that I honestly love my stepson as if he were mine. Although at times my mind starts to go back to the past, I have to remind myself that there is nothing I can do to change it but just enjoy the moment. Just breathe and take it slow you will know what you will need to do for you and your daughter regardless of what everyone tells you to do (believe me I got plenty of advice from friends and family and none of it was for me to stay with him). I will be praying for you. You can pm me if you would like.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Hang in there. You've been hit with the biggest assault on yourself with the exception of death.

Be stong. You've earned this rage and anger that will preserve you for now.

Seek guidance from a professional. Marriage counsel, a lawyer, etc.

Again, vent away, he is a jerk.


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