# Voice recorder issue. Is it legal to record my wife? UK law.



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

Any lawyers out there?

My wife and I are divorcing.

She has been having an EA via facebook for a while now. It just got physical. She went to stay with him for two weeks before returning to this house. She's going again soon and again at Christmas. He lives abroad. 

I placed a voice recorder in her room and discovered that the relationship is much more serious than she is letting on. There is talk of marriage and children so they intend to live together. She has a well paid job as does the lover. He also owns his home. 

However, this is not how she is presenting it. Instead she is asserting that they have no long term plans and that she will have to support herself after the divorce and is forcing the sale of the house despite it being a premarital asset owned outright and mortgage free by me for years before we were married. 

The recording proves otherwise.

What their plans are has an affect on the settlement.

So does anyone know if the recording legal and can it be used as evidence of their plans to cohabit?

Many thanks to anyone who can help.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Not sure if it's legal as courtroom evidence, but it can certainly be used to expose her duplicitous and sleazy behavior to family, friends, work associates, and the like.


----------



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

Thanks Conrad,

She's very litigious unfortunately. Letters fly from her lawyer threatening all sorts of mayhem regularly. Already have a threat on me to block me using any of the emails and facebook messages that exposed the affair. 

It's very likely that she will call the police if recording her is illegal.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Don't you have your own lawyer? Shouldn't you be getting legal advice from them?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

You already exposed her behavior?

What happened after that?


----------



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

PBear said:


> Don't you have your own lawyer? Shouldn't you be getting legal advice from them?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I have my own lawyer but I'm a bit worried about telling him I'm recording her in case it's illegal. Don't know how he will respond. Would he then refuse to continue?

Does he have a duty to inform the police if a crime has taken place?


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

abcl06735 said:


> I have my own lawyer but I'm a bit worried about telling him I'm recording her in case it's illegal. Don't know how he will respond. Would he then refuse to continue?
> 
> Does he have a duty to inform the police if a crime has taken place?


No, he's bound by attorney client privilege.

You can trust him.


----------



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

Conrad said:


> You already exposed her behavior?
> 
> What happened after that?


Well, it's a bit odd.

At every point where I discovered something and challenged her or exposed her, to say her father or a mutual friend, she has upped the ante.

As an example, when I noticed some odd emails in her inbox it went from bad behaviour to a trial separation. When I discovered there was an affair - it was an EA to be clear - it went from trial separation to divorce along with treats to have me arrested for interfering with her email. 

When I read a part of her diary, she refused an extension to allow me to answer the divorce petition.

When I discovered she was going to holiday with him for two weeks (making it a PA now) when she said she was just going away to rest, she upped the settlement amount she's demanding.

No contrition, just legal violence.

As for exposing her, I slightly tricked her father into revealing where she was going on holiday. I knew she was going to the same city her lover lived in but as I had gotten that information from the VAR I needed another source that I could use legitimately. He didn't know anything about the other man. He was quite upset. She launched a furious tirade against her father after that and has disowned him.

She still went on holiday with the guy.

I get it all from the VAR. She has a friend she discusses everything with. She's very candid. A kiss and tell girl. So I know all about what they did together in bed while on holiday.

A warning to other people who use VARs. This is not information that is healthy to hear, so use them carefully. I'm quite disturbed by what I've heard. Don't feel too well. This woman was the love of my life.


----------



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

Conrad said:


> No, he's bound by attorney client privilege.
> 
> You can trust him.


Thanks. I'll speak to him then.


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

There are many ways you can come by information, such as she left her email or facebook account open on the family computer which you saw. Same thing as she left a letter open on the kitchen table, it is not illegal to read it like that, whereas hacking her email or opening a sealed envelope might be illegal.

So stfu when you talk to her or her family about how you came across the info. There is no reason to divulge precisely how you learned of some facts. You could even lie about it as long as it is not under oath in court.

If she is being such an aggressive opponent you need to have a lawyer who will fight hard for you.

How about getting data from her vacation which would prove the affair? A hotel bill to prove where she was. A restaurant bill which is too much for just one person. Cell phone records showing calls to/from posom?

In the states these are all the kinds of things which could be obtained by your lawyer through the legal process or which you have a right to as part of joint ownership (her finances are jointly yours).

How about hiring an investigator to take photos of them together when you know she will be with him?

Do talk to your lawyer, and don't be afraid to play hardball if it is to your advantage.


----------



## abcl06735 (Mar 30, 2013)

The email access has not been illegal as far as I can tell but it would be for a court to decide. 

We have been using each other's computers since we got them. I was using hers when mine was out of action for a while. I was using her email account when I noticed the odd emails. Wasn't snooping. Had no reason to. Later, when I was suspicious, I went into her email account and found lots of emails from the OM.

I had full access and administrative rights to her PC and it was a family computer, so to speak. 

I haven't mentioned the VAR to anyone other than my brother, and a counsellor - I've needed counselling since this broke. I had heard on the VAR that she had spoken to her father about going to "O" city for a holiday.

I called her father and said "You know this holiday "I" is going on to "O"? To which he replied, "Yes". I said "I didn't actually know, but you just confirmed it."

I think all hell would break loose here if she found out.

There is no need to get data from her trip. It's all out in the open now. After the call to her father I challenged her with the information. She's quite blatant about it since it's come out. And the emails and the stamp in her passport are enough proof anyway.

It's more now about the settlement and what her intentions are after the divorce. If her intention is to cohabit with her lover, and that seems very likely given he has asked her to marry him and discussed children, then her future housing meeds will be met and her settlement will be reduced.


----------

