# Valentine's Day



## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

It's a really tough one this year. We are on the rocks but due to circumstances are still living in the same house. We have 2 children. The thought of offering a Valentine's Day wish in any way fills me with dread but I am wavering because I don't want to create further friction. My partner will probably buy me something - chocolates etc. There is no love but I'm tempted to buy a discreet card or something. Any suggestions?


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## blackdog (Dec 18, 2013)

Ouch! The last 2 weeks I have dreaded the thought of buying flowers or chocolates or such. It is a VERY difficult time for MANY of us here. Isn't it?


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

I imagine that this will be a popular notion for this forum this month. I too have been both pondering and dreading about what will happen on Valentine's Day as my marriage is on the rocks as well. Last Valentine's Day things weren't great either... and I legit can NOT remember it!! Isn't that sad?! I wonder if it is because my mind is mentally blocking it out for my own sanity... haha. I literally can't remember if he got me anything or if we even TALKED on vday last year. I wish I could remember... trying to jog my memory. Honestly spending time renting a movie and just sitting in the same room whilst doing so would be enough for me... we shall see.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Might do a card. I remembered something just now - a few years back on my birthday she gave me a card with nothing written on it. She said she had got caught up and didn't have time or something like that. You know, it stung back then and it stings now to consider it. I would never do that and even if I did I would fill it in right there and then - write something quick smart and re-present it later with apologies. She never wrote on that card. It must have been when things were so bad that she just didn't care (or her affair was just starting up - i don't know for sure). I grew up to just get on with it and fake it if you have to when it came to family. The fact that she actually gave me the card was an insult and I just took it - kept my cool. Not anymore folks.


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## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

Last year's V-day was a tough one for us. I decided not acknowledging the day in even a small way would have been a mistake.

I gave her a "friendly" card, no love and kisses stuff, 'cause I knew she wasn't in that place. She never mentioned the card, and didn't give me anything. I was ok with that. I gave it to be true to myself and who I am.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

A good friend is the director of the local senior center, and they are hosting a VD Dance. He invited us to attend with him and his wife, but we may be the youngest people there. LOL Some of the seniors really know how to dance, so maybe we'll learn a few things. And we may ask any unattached singles to dance.

We may go out to dinner on Saturday, or something, just the two of us, but we normally don't do anything special for Valentine's Day.


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## Zanne (Dec 7, 2012)

Ugh, I just want the entire month to pass me by. I cringe at all the advertisements and cards which shove this holiday for lovers in my face. This horrible winter is not helping my spirits either.

Last year, he gave me a combination Valentine's Day/birthday card and flowers from him and the kids (my b-day is two days off of V-day; sometimes I think he doesn't even know the real date). It was the beginning of the end for us, however, he did write some nice sentiments in the card.

I'm not sure about this year as we are truly facing the end. I'm not one who expects anything for birthdays and holidays. I just don't want him to feel awkward about whether to do anything. Again, I would be happy to go to sleep and wake up on March 1. Please just tell me when it's over.


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## LanieB (Jan 22, 2013)

I've never had a nice Valentine's Day in the past anyway. Usually I would buy him a card to give him just in case he got one for me. If he didn't, I didn't give it to him - otherwise it was awkward. Same thing on anniversaries.


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## PinkSalmon13 (Nov 7, 2013)

I view the coming of February 14th with much trepidation and anxiety!


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Valentine's Day sucks arse. I've always thoughtvthat... even when I was married.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Yep, it's bit of a joke for me. I get antsy about the whole deal - the commerce of it, same with Christmas to a degree. However I will get a card. I don't want to be bloody minded about it. It's just that the temptation is to go ballistic about false words. I'll have to bite down hard on the bit....oh shoot, and then we have my Niece's wedding the next day. "Love is in the Air".....ahhh, now i can't get that damn song out of my head!


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

I just found out, or rather realized, that my husband will actually not be here on actual Valentine's day, he will be coming home from a work trip a few days after. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing honestly haha... a part of me is relieved and the other part of me is disappointed. I mean... I guess I don't have to worry about it now? But now I wonder... will he call me on Valentine's day? will it still be awkward? I guess I don't have to worry about getting him anything. I also didn't realize that Valentine's day is on a Friday this year... that's depressing. I'll be alone on Valentine's day AND a Friday night simultaneously... boo. Wish I had some single female friends nearby that I could have some sort of anti vday party with. Sigh.


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

I will get her a nice cup of shut the hell up!! 
that is about all i tellz ya!!!!


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Valentine's Day will now be re-named VOD Day

"Victory Over Deceivers Day" - tut ta cheaters....


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## LanieB (Jan 22, 2013)

I'm going to buy myself a nice box of chocolates! And maybe a bottle of wine.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I'm taking my DS out on a date Thursday since he will be with his dad Friday.


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## Axios (Feb 9, 2014)

Walk Away Wife moved out of the house on Feb. 1. 

We were married 23 years and together for 28.

I don't expect to hear from her anytime soon.

Thing is...Valentines Day is my birthday as well. Double whammy.

This just sucks.


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## poppyseed (Dec 22, 2013)

Just buy the cheapest V card & a small quality box of chocolates.


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

Reminds me of my DDay. Our 27th anniversary was June 1st. My ExH got me chocolates, a huge Teddy Bear and a card that said "I look forward to spending the next 27 years with you. I Love You." I learned a couple of weeks later that he had been banging the POSOW for about six weeks. What a crock of you know what!


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

If your marriage is basically over and the love just isn't there, why do anything for that day. Valentines Day is for lovers. If there is no love, why bother. If her feelings get hurt, so what?


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

You are right. When you consider what her affair has done to me for the last 10 months since DDay it seems a bit odd to care about her feelings. On the other hand I am still learning to not care-take other people's feelings - a life long habit handed down from my Mother. A form of dependency.


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