# What are your plans for Christmas and New Years Eve?



## RisingSun

Now that you're divorced/separated, what are your plans for Christmas and New Years Eve? How are you feeling about it?

I've been separated for just over 6 weeks (second time she's left). I'm grateful my parents are still around, so Christmas Eve will be spent with them for a bit, then at my sisters for chicken stew with her family and some friends. On Christmas day, my family gets together at my parents for lunch then gifts. I'll probably be spending Christmas evening with them since they'll be alone. I will definitely be missing celebrating Christmas Eve and Christmas day suppers at my in-laws, but that chapter's over. I feel myself letting go of my ex, which is nice and a huge relief, so Christmas without her won't be so bad. 

No plans for NYE yet. I might throw a get-together here, but I'm not sure yet. Might just spend it alone watching Netflix and ringing in the New Year on my own. January first would have been our/my anniversary, so that will suck... as much as it won't. I mean... there is some relief, finally, not to be going on with that charade of a marriage. In any case, just an evening and a day to get through.


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## joannacroc

First Christmas without my little man. He's going with the ex since last year he spent Christmas with me. I'm pretty terrified about spending that much time away from him but after Christmas Day he gets to come spend the rest of the winter break with me. We're going to visit my family in Europe and he'll get to see his cousins. An old college friend invited me to her house for Christmas Eve and day and I'll be filling in some of the rest of the time volunteering and working.


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## Ynot

This will be my second Christmas/NYE post divorce. Last year totally sucked. I think I was entering the darkest of my darkest days then. This year is not so bad. I still miss all the activity and despite having *****ed about spending too much money, I even miss some of that. I am not really in the Christmas spirit yet, and sometimes feel like I never will again. I would rather spend time than spend money, because we all have money but most of us don't take time.
Anyways, this year I am going to have a Christmas lunch with my daughter on 12/23, then head out to my son's following. He lives about 6 hours away. I will spend a couple days of with him and his fiancee. After that I am off for my midlife walkabout. 
I am renting a car, Heading south to the gulf coast and the west along the gulf to NO, then up the Mississippi, across Tennessee and north thru Kentucky. I might make a few stops towards the end to see a couple of sisters, but otherwise have no real itinerary or plans. Other than to get my head on right and make 2016 the best year of my life!


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## SecondTime'Round

Well, I won't have my kids until Christmas Day at noon and my sister and her family will be away, so Christmas Eve will just be my mom, my aunt, and me. We're going out to dinner. I'll probably go to one of the 5 Christmas Eve services my church has, earlier in the day. I have no plans for NYE and don't know yet if I'll have my kids (we haven't discussed it). Either way, I find it very difficult to stay up until midnight anymore, so I'll probably be doing the Netflix and wine thing .


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## Rowan

This year, my son will be with his daddy on Christmas Eve. So, I'll be wrapping his gifts while he's out of the house. I have a great group of friends, and we have a tradition of getting together (families, kids, friends, whoever's available) nearly every Sunday evening for a pot-luck supper at a friend's pond house. A few years ago, we started doing it on Christmas Eve as well, so I'll head over there for what amounts to a big family dinner for the evening. My son will get home late that night so we can get up early for the usual Christmas morning, then it's off to have lunch with my parents. 

My son goes with my folks to visit my brother every year for NYE. I'll likely spend it with friends. Sometimes we have a big party, sometimes we go to a black-tie event in a neighboring city, sometimes we just hang out at someone's house and have drinks and munchies. It's always fun, though.


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## Dude007

I'm going to the Casino on NYE. My son was supposed to go with me but sounds like he may bail to hang with his buds..Meh!! I'll still have a BLAST!!! DUDE


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## Bananapeel

Going goose hunting Christmas weekend!!! Friends visiting for New Years.


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## Steve1000

RisingSun said:


> Now that you're divorced/separated, what are your plans for Christmas and New Years Eve? How are you feeling about it?


Try to do something special that you can look forward to and something that occupies your mind. When I was single and new I would be alone during the holidays, I either went snow skiing or if I was in China, I went mountain hiking.


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## bkyln309

I am staying with the man I am seeing. We are doing a sleepover. He is going to cook and we are just going to hang out for the weekend.


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## Threeblessings

I've got my kids all Christmas week. My daughter created a menu for us so we having roast pork and vegetables for lunch. The kids go back to their dads after Christnas and I'm going to Perth for that week. NYE will be spent with a special friend.


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## Ynot

bkyln309 said:


> I am staying with the man I am seeing. We are doing a sleepover. He is going to cook and we are just going to hang out for the weekend.


Just hangout? Or really letting it ALL hang out? HAHA:wink2:


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## Married but Happy

We have a friend coming over xmas eve, and two other friends have invited us over xmas morning and afternoon for snacks and drinks, then dinner. Not sure about nye, but have tentative plans to have a friend or two over.


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## Marc878

Flying up to the frozen north for Christmas, ugh. Spending New Years at the beach home.

Lots of champagne and probably steamed oysters.


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## arbitrator

*Unless my plans suddenly change, I'll do Christmas Eve Candlelight Service with my boys, and a gift exchange either before or just after that!

The boys have been cordially invited to share Christmas Day with my RSXW and her clan out at their ranch, but ol' Arb will likely be on his own, spending a quiet solitary day at the Ranch! I may even torch a big bonfire full of old logs if the temperature mercury drops low enough!

Hell, I may even take in a Golden Corral buffet followed by a "Star Wars" matinee!

Regarding New Years Eve, l'll likely huddle up with my TV and watch the NCAA Championship games, get fat, sip on some BlackJack and Seven and see the year in alone!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round

It's supposed to be a record-setting 74 degrees here on Christmas, so I think I'm going to lay out. :surprise:


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## Ynot

Car rented. I pick it up Wednesday. Getting more excited about my road trip as it gets closer. I was thinking about how I used to explore the world pre-marriage - I spent two one week stints exploring Manhattan, a week in DC, traveled to NJ a few times, went to Pittsburgh multiple times, Cincinatti. I went and saw. I experienced the places I went. I didn't do that for the longest time. Now I am back. I have no idea what I'll see, or who I will meet. But I am open to the experiences.


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## SecondTime'Round

Ynot said:


> Car rented. I pick it up Wednesday. Getting more excited about my road trip as it gets closer. I was thinking about how I used to explore the world pre-marriage - I spent two one week stints exploring Manhattan, a week in DC, traveled to NJ a few times, went to Pittsburgh multiple times, Cincinatti. I went and saw. I experienced the places I went. I didn't do that for the longest time. Now I am back. I have no idea what I'll see, or who I will meet. But I am open to the experiences.


This sounds like so much fun. I love impromptu road trips. Why did you decide to rent a car?


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## karole

My daughter and her boyfriend will be coming home on Christmas Day (didn't think she would be able to, so I'm happy about that). We will have our traditional prime rib dinner. 

My husband and I have both come down with nasty colds - my daughter texted me that she is in bed sick too - so, I hope plans don't fall through. Hoping everyone will feel better by Christmas.


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## Ynot

SecondTime'Round said:


> This sounds like so much fun. I love impromptu road trips. Why did you decide to rent a car?


My car is absolutely fine, but I decided why even risk a breakdown in some rural Mississippi town on a Saturday night? If the car has a problem, I will just call the rental agency and have them bring me a new one. Plus I'll get to see how a different car will handle a long trip, so I am doing some research on my next vehicle as well. And I am writing it all off anyways, so why not?


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## BlueWoman

Last Christmas sucked. First Christmas post divorce. But this Christmas is going to be just fine. Spend the AM with friends a family and then come home get into PJ's, make popcorn and watch movies. Not sure about NYE. But even if I do nothing, it will be fine.


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## RisingSun

I've talked to friends about having a party at my place for NYE, but most already have plans (mainly family), so I might just make a homemade pizza and watch some Netflix. My 11th wedding anniversary would have been January 1st, but it's not a big deal. Actually, the end of the marriage is something I'd be happy to celebrate more than mourn. I am definitely making progress.


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## FeministInPink

This will be my THIRD Christmas/New Year's without my XH. I can't believe it. We divorced in early December 2013.

The first one (2013) kind of sucked. But it was nice to be with family at Christmas without him, actually. And then I went with a new, divorced friend to one of those big hotel New Year's Eve parties? It was awful. Never doing that again. Long lines for mediocre drinks, overcrowded dance floor. And it turned out that she and I didn't really click as well as we had thought we had initially, so that was a little awkward. It was also my only invite for the New Year, which made me feel a little lonely.

The second one (2014) was better. Christmas was about the same--not much changes there--except that the nieces are older now. The oldest is TOTALLY into Christmas, but the younger still doesn't totally know what's going on. For New Year's Eve this time around, I got a number of invites for New Year's Eve, and I decided to spend it having a pajama party with a friend who had just moved back to the area. We had a ton of fun.

This year, we're doing the pajama party again. I've had a couple other invites for things I would really like to do (karaoke party, anyone?), but I can do those next year. My friend was diagnosed with Lyme disease this summer (she's had it for years, apparently), so this has been a pretty tough year for her. Her boyfriend will be out of town (working), and she won't have the energy for a big party out on the town. So I want to make sure she's not alone for New Year's Eve--I spent far too many NYEs alone, and I know how that's like. And even if she's tired and can't do much, I know we'll have fun


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## FeministInPink

RisingSun said:


> I've talked to friends about having a party at my place for NYE, but most already have plans (mainly family), so I might just make a homemade pizza and watch some Netflix. My 11th wedding anniversary would have been January 1st, but it's not a big deal. Actually, the end of the marriage is something I'd be happy to celebrate more than mourn. I am definitely making progress.


I thought about having a divorce party (in general, not for NYE). I joked about it with friends, that we would have a bonfire in the backyard and burn pics and albums and whatnot, but ultimately, I decided against it. Saying goodbye to that relationship was a very personal, private thing; I had kept my relationship problems very private, and very few people knew that anything was going on, until I was in a position where I had to go public with my divorce.

(_Favorite family faux pas of all time: at a cousin's wedding, outside the ceremony site, as people are walking in. VERY few people know at this point, and given that we're at a wedding, and we're all going to family beach week the next day, I'd rather keep it to myself. I'm with my sister and BIL, and my dad's cousin sees me from across the way, and yells, "Hey, FiP! Where's XH? I never see him anymore! Are you guys getting a divorce?" all meant in jest, of course. But I'm a little dumbfounded, and not really sure what to do, I respond, "Actually, yes we are. He moved out six months ago, and he has a new girlfriend." He's across the way, so everyone hears. Probably not the best move on my part, but oh well._)

Given that I had kept everything so private, I decided to keeo my farewell private as well. Over the following 2 years, I slowly discarded things, when I was ready. It would have been too much for me to try to do it all in on fell swoop.


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## SecondTime'Round

BlueWoman said:


> Last Christmas sucked. First Christmas post divorce. But this Christmas is going to be just fine. Spend the AM with friends a family and then come home get into PJ's, make popcorn and watch movies. Not sure about NYE. But even if I do nothing, it will be fine.


I think I'll be alone on NYE, and that's fine with me as well. I plan to be nice to myself with some Netflix and wine, and some quiet time to reflect on my goals for 2016.


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## RisingSun

I'm glad you'll both be doing ok, @FeministInPink and @SecondTime'Round. 

Looks like some friends are looking forward to coming over to my place on NYE, so it looks like it's a go. Slow cooker meatballs, some snacks, champagne to toast in the new year and time with friends. Won't be a big crowd, but we'll have fun.


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## Nomorebeans

This is my first Christmas and NYE without XH. This whole month has sucked out loud. That whole barely breathing feeling from the first two months after DDay has returned with a vengeance. He has our son right now for two days while he's off and our son is on break from school. Been trying to see the bright side of that - wrapped all DS's presents today and got him a couple other last-minute things. He comes home tomorrow. Tomorrow evening, XH is coming over to open presents, as he'll be flying on Christmas Day, and we didn't think we should celebrate separately the first year, for our son's sake. 

On the bright side, I splurged (big time) and bought NBA tickets for the Christmas Day game in Miami for my son and myself. I've been to MLB, NHL, and NFL games, but never to an NBA game, and that's ironic, since basketball is the sport I like watching the most of all of those. So I gave myself something to look forward to.

I didn't make big (or any) NYE plans. I've never much liked braving the roads out there on Amateur Night, so I've almost always stayed in (and had Netflix/wine time like STR). Probably will do the same this time around. Hopefully most of The First Holiday Blues will have subsided by then.


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## SecondTime'Round

Nomorebeans said:


> This is my first Christmas and NYE without XH. This whole month has sucked out loud. That whole barely breathing feeling from the first two months after DDay has returned with a vengeance. He has our son right now for two days while he's off and our son is on break from school. Been trying to see the bright side of that - wrapped all DS's presents today and got him a couple other last-minute things. He comes home tomorrow. Tomorrow evening, XH is coming over to open presents, as he'll be flying on Christmas Day, and we didn't think we should celebrate separately the first year, for our son's sake.
> 
> On the bright side, I splurged (big time) and bought NBA tickets for the Christmas Day game in Miami for my son and myself. I've been to MLB, NHL, and NFL games, but never to an NBA game, and that's ironic, since basketball is the sport I like watching the most of all of those. So I gave myself something to look forward to.
> 
> I didn't make big (or any) NYE plans. I've never much liked braving the roads out there on Amateur Night, so I've almost always stayed in (and had Netflix/wine time like STR). Probably will do the same this time around. Hopefully most of The First Holiday Blues will have subsided by then.


That's awesome about the NBA tix! I hope you guys have fun. Wonder what the skank thinks about him opening presents Cmas morning with you.....

It's 3:36 on Cmas Eve and I haven't wrapped any gifts, which I suppose is a "gift" of not having my kids until noon tomorrow. I'm leaving soon to finish up stocking stuffer shopping for my mom and aunt, then meeting them for Cmas Eve dinner at a restaurant. Did not make it to a service today. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up alone and wrap gifts before my kids arrive at noon. I hired two teens from the 'hood to come over today and assemble my son's soccer goal in the back yard, so that gift is "wrapped." I already gave each of the kids a gift, so they won't have a ton to unwrap (we do the holiday small), but enough. After they unwrap gifts we'll head to my mom's for lunch after that. 

Merry Christmas, everyone .


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## BlueWoman

Nomorebeans said:


> This is my first Christmas and NYE without XH. This whole month has sucked out loud. That whole barely breathing feeling from the first two months after DDay has returned with a vengeance. He has our son right now for two days while he's off and our son is on break from school. Been trying to see the bright side of that - wrapped all DS's presents today and got him a couple other last-minute things. He comes home tomorrow. Tomorrow evening, XH is coming over to open presents, as he'll be flying on Christmas Day, and we didn't think we should celebrate separately the first year, for our son's sake.
> 
> On the bright side, I splurged (big time) and bought NBA tickets for the Christmas Day game in Miami for my son and myself. I've been to MLB, NHL, and NFL games, but never to an NBA game, and that's ironic, since basketball is the sport I like watching the most of all of those. So I gave myself something to look forward to.
> 
> I didn't make big (or any) NYE plans. I've never much liked braving the roads out there on Amateur Night, so I've almost always stayed in (and had Netflix/wine time like STR). Probably will do the same this time around. Hopefully most of The First Holiday Blues will have subsided by then.



First: Good for you for getting the NBA tickets! Enjoy!
Second: My first Christmas after D day was awful, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but this is my second and it's about a million times better. I'm in the second year, where I am have done most of my saying goodbye to my old life and hello to a new life. And my new life is so much better. So hang in there. This holiday season may absolutely suck, but you won't feel like this forever. By next Christmas you will feel a million times better.


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## RisingSun

Did everyone survive Christmas Eve? I spent some time with my parents then went over to my sisters and spend time with her family for a while. A good friend of mine was there with her son and it was good to see them. No romantic possibility there I don't think. 

I had some rough moments last night, mainly feeling a bit of a void. My stbxw's family was celebrating their Christmas with the big meal gifts and time together. I've always loved her family and really missed that time with them. I do realize that particular tradition is over, and well, that's OK. Moving forward there will be new traditions to create and enjoy, eventually with someone special I hope. 

And odd thing was seeing the number of people wish me and my stbxw a Merry Christmas on Facebook. I just replied to them and said thank you then sent a private message to let them know about the separation. It wasn't to trigger or anything and I was OK with it. Can't say it was not expected. 

So here I am alone on Christmas day morning. I'm watching the you'll log burn on TV, as well as the lights on my Charlie Brown tree and the one gift I have two open this morning. In some ways I do miss my stbxw and our tradition of making yourselves a big breakfast and watching a Christmas movie before going to my parents. But I'm feeling OK. The sense of loss is nothing compared to the sense of relief that I am no longer in a marriage with someone who didn't not love me, and who is probably ready to cheat with her emotional affair.

Who knows maybe next Christmas I'll have someone new to unwrap. 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy your family and friends, and if you're alone make a mental list of all of the blessings in your life. When you think about them you'll see that there are more than a few despite any rough times you may be having. Cheers!


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## SecondTime'Round

RisingSun said:


> Did everyone survive Christmas Eve? I spent some time with my parents then went over to my sisters and spend time with her family for a while. A good friend of mine was there with her son and it was good to see them. No romantic possibility there I don't think.
> 
> I had some rough moments last night, mainly feeling a bit of a void. My stbxw's family was celebrating their Christmas with the big meal gifts and time together. I've always loved her family and really missed that time with them. I do realize that particular tradition is over, and well, that's OK. Moving forward there will be new traditions to create and enjoy, eventually with someone special I hope.
> 
> And odd thing was seeing the number of people wish me and my stbxw a Merry Christmas on Facebook. I just replied to them and said thank you then sent a private message to let them know about the separation. It wasn't to trigger or anything and I was OK with it. Can't say it was not expected.
> 
> So here I am alone on Christmas day morning. I'm watching the you'll log burn on TV, as well as the lights on my Charlie Brown tree and the one gift I have two open this morning. In some ways I do miss my stbxw and our tradition of making yourselves a big breakfast and watching a Christmas movie before going to my parents. But I'm feeling OK. The sense of loss is nothing compared to the sense of relief that I am no longer in a marriage with someone who didn't not love me, and who is probably ready to cheat with her emotional affair.
> 
> Who knows maybe next Christmas I'll have someone new to unwrap.
> 
> I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy your family and friends, and if you're alone make a mental list of all of the blessings in your life. When you think about them you'll see that there are more than a few despite any rough times you may be having. Cheers!


Good attitude, RS. I'm betting on you having someone new to unwrap next year . 

Christmas is always a bit sad for me regardless of my relationship status because I think about the wonderful Christmas Day we had 9 years ago with my in-tact family, my parents, and my sister's family. It was a nice warm day that day, too, and we ate great food and my dad even went for a spin on my BIL's motorcycle. Sadly my dad died of a heart attack that night on the Pennsylvania Turnpike on his way home from my sister's house. The family photo we took about 2 hours before his death is one of my most prized possessions, even though my ex is in it!  

I survived Cmas Eve....just went to dinner with my mom and aunt and my mom tried to be subtle about paying for the meal of a single mom and her kids there, but failed. I mean, she paid and it was really nice, but my mom doesn't know how to be subtle. 

Woke up too early this morning with last night's steak not settling so well, and I'm still trying to get awake. I will get my kids back at noon, and I haven't wrapped a single gift. Guess this is the benefit of divorce....I have all morning to wrap the gifts . Christmas has not been rushed or crazy this year at all.

I know it's different being "alone" on Christmas when you at least have the kids to look forward to, but it still feels a bit weird. The fact that it was 76 degrees here yesterday also makes it not feel like Christmas. 

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!


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## Ynot

Nomore beans good job on NBA tix. If this your sons first he will remember. A good memory is the best gift of all.

I am in Charlotte on the first leg of my adventure. Drove here yesterday. It was a great drive. The perfect mix of weather. Got here and had a great dinner of home made chili with Fritos cheddar cheese and sour cream. Today we are having turkey and tomorrow we are going to see our own NBA game as we are going to the Hornets here in Charlotte

I had a nice evening before I left with my daughter. She was showing me her itinerary for her wedding trip next year. I am jealous. Google Faeries Glen on the Isle of Sky in Scotland. That is where they are going


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## giddiot

I made Gumbo for Christmas dinner. Was on call and worked, and got to see my grandson for an hour before he disperses to other family. He loves the Teddy Bridgewater Vikings jersey I got him.

When you have grown boys they almost always go to their spouses family for holidays. That's sad for us, but last year I made a small turkey dinner and both families just showed up and wanted to eat.


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## Ynot

Great job @Nomorebeans! Way to pick a game! OT with a home team win!


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## huebnem

Play World of Tanks in the barracks with a bottle of Jack Daniels. 

Shop online for things I want to buy, but won't, with my reenlistment bonus. 

Probably spend an hour asking myself why I reenlisted for 6 years.

Got some carrot sticks and peppercorn ranch if I get hungry...


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## Dude007

We had the family out to our cabin for Christmas Eve. All the outlaws were there talking about Trump and the foolishness that is American politic. I filled a cooler full of blue moon and my son, he's a marine, helped me drink them w my nephew. He also bought some TX whiskey. It was pretty smooth actually. On 30 acres at 70 degrees I could easily avoid all the outlaws. Ha! Then went into Dfw metro to my sisters on Christmas Day. I was running for a deep pass from my son and pulled my hamstring right before I would have caught it. Sister posted it on facebook. Lots of comments/jokes. I pray to one day spend Christmas alone. I can only dream for now! Dude


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## arbitrator

SecondTime'Round said:


> It's supposed to be a record-setting 74 degrees here on Christmas, so I think I'm going to lay out. :surprise:


*We may all be doing a little "laying out" with all of this unseasonably mild weather that we're experiencing here in Central Texas!

But I understand that we may be seeing the mid-30's again by late Monday night!

Oh, heaven!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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