# Wife wants to leave me!! HELP!!



## Wats

Hello all,

I've been married for 21 years and my wife has said she wants to leave me. We have three children ages 20, 18, 17 and we both love them very much. We have been having problems for years and she just told me she had been meaning to leave me for a few years but she was afraid I'd take the children form her. This was devastating to me. She says she has been telling me there is a problem for years by such comments as 'I'm lonley', and 'I feel empty inside'. She had been taking a drug for depression for years but hasn't taken it for a few years now. She says she's been filling her empty spot with the children for so long and now that they're older she doesn't feel I can fill that spot. She says she's been done for a long time and there is no saving our marriage. I've done some very irresponsible things and I have been making changes but she refuses to see them. My most recent foolish act was buying a car that I'd always wanted after she quit her job. I have been feeling unloved and rejected for a long time and felt I needed something and thought that was it. We have been in financial crisis most of our married life. I want to save our marriage and she doesn't want to try. She won't see a counselor with me! She refuses. I told her I would go without her but really wanted her to re-consider. She never told me outright, 'Kevin, we are in trouble and we should seek help'. If she had, I'd have done so. I've been the supporter of the family since our marriage at nineteen years of age. and she's never held a job for longer than 2 years. She blames all our problems on me! I love her so much but she won't let me touch her now and says it's over. Please help!!


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## draconis

Communications is about more then just talking, It is about listening and solving issues.

I.) Communication~ An Open line of communication can build a great relationship, keep it moving or repair it when there is damage to it. In my view there is nothing more important then being able to talk to your partner about every thing. By communicating I know my wife what she wants and what she expects. The lack of communication almost lost a great thing. The ability to communicate not only saved it but strengthened us.

A.) Listen~ A part of communication has to be the ability to listen. No one wants to spill their heart out if the other person isn’t listening or just paying lip service.

1.) Boundaries~ Listen to what your partner thinks as far as limits. Is hugging okay, how about dancing with someone else? Knowing where your boundaries are can keep you from having to repair a relationship.

B.) Acceptance~ You have to be able to accept what you are being told from your partner. Saying you do doesn’t help if you can’t or refuse to use the information.

C.) Sharing~ You must be willing to share the good and the bad of the day or even your dreams to communicate well.

D.) Conflict Resolution~ Use communication to solve your problems. Most arguments are not because people disagree but rather they can’t or will not compromise or they can’t understand what the other wants. Arguing is the worst form of talking because things not meant to be said are out of anger and most arguments would not happen if there was good communication.

What are some of the other problems you two have?

draconis


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## Wats

Well, she refuses to accept any of the blame for our situation and she feels that I don't respect her. I suppose because of the foolish things I've done against her will. I have been trying to make changes but she doesn't seem to see them. She never encourages me or tells me I've done well at anything. I try to compliment her often. But she also complains that I only want to touch her if I'm getting sex. That was the case when we were younger but I really just want to be able to hold her and kiss her tell her I love her.....I want to show her it's not about sex but that I've changed and for her to show the same affection towards me. We've never cheated on each other....we don't drink, smoke, do drugs. We both believe in God and attend church once in a while.


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## SageMother

Is the car the first big ticket item you have ever purchased without consulting her? It sounds like she doesn't really need to accept any responsibility if you can admit that you have done things that were against her will. It might be best to let her leave, and hope that she gives you another chance down the road.


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## draconis

Often, too often people change after the damage is done. She has memories of the touch or kiss was for sex. It takes a thousand good deeds to erase one bad one. where is you relationship Karma?

draconis


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## Wats

Sage,

We have both been very irresponsible with our spending and yes the car was the first large purchase I've made without her consent. However, I did purchase a truck a few years ago and we had discussed getting a truck but she didn't want a full size truck....I did....for good reason. We burn wood in the winter months and a full size 4x4 truck for hauling wood is more practical. I somtimes have to travel farm roads and haul wood over rough muddy roads. 

She didn't have a good childhood and has no contact with her mother or father. She always spends way too much money on the kids, especially at Christmas, against my will but I do understand why she does it and forgive her. She is selfless when it comes to our children. 

Also, Sage, She has never really encouraged me or told me I'm doing a good job......I'm a defense contractor and I've recently gotten a new job with an $11,000 increase in pay and I've recently been given Project Lead status. I make decent money but our inability to manage our money properly has caused much trouble. And she just recently quit her job.

Thanks for your help.


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## oceanbreeze

hi, 

sounds like your wife is a bit depressed. she has invested much into the kids that she may not know how to be with you and vice versa. plus the kids are getting ready to leave the house (college, work/trade) and this may be difficult for her to get used to. 

try conditioning your wife. instead of wanting to hold her, kiss, smell and more, take her hand and kiss it like a lady. research your local opera/symphony stadiums and find out if the nutcracker ballet is playing in your area. stroke her hair and tell her "i love you" and then walk away. of course this will leave her dumbfounded but hopefully rethinking that you did not intentionally touch her to make-love. try to get her into a hobby that she always wanted to do and try to go along with her. then over time (like 3 months or so) IF she says so she may want to do it on her own and her own thing. but when she comes home act interested on what she did. 

finding your wife something to do and invest into her own happiness along with you by her side may be the thing she needs. discuss this and about doing activities together. 

also, congratulations on the job!


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## Wats

Thank you so much.

I want to touch my wife so badly but she is totally unreceptive and recoils when I attempt to do so. She apparently feels it is too little too late but in reality I've been trying to just hold her hand and touch her lovingly for a few years now and she has been making me feel unloved and rejected. Believe me I want to touch her and hold her but she has felt for so long that I'm just doing those things for sex that when I attempt to do them now she is expecting me to want to jump in the bed. I've definitely changed when it comes to that. Just to hold her hand or hug her is so good for me but she'll have nothing to do with that now.


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## libra23

Wats:
the most important thing i can tell you is don't give up. my husband and i were in the exact same situation as you. i wanted to leave him. refused counseling...all of it. i moved out for awhile even. my husband refused to give up on me, on us, on our marriage. i moved back home recently and we are attending marriage counseling. i am beginning to feel good about us again. but its a long slow process.

i can't stress enough communication. if you can get your wife to discuss with you some of the things she is unhappy with (not just what u think you've done wrong) you can begin to work on those. show her in little ways u love her. dont' expect her to let you know that she is noticing. i saw my husband changing but it took me a long time to admit that it WAS making a difference. just doing little things makes a huge difference. he leaves me little notes saying have a good day and that he loves me. it all makes a difference. i know my husband wants to be a better man. it makes me want to be a better person as well...and also made me realize that we could have the things we wanted, we could dream, plan our future...and be happy together. communication is so huge. i would have never thought my huband and i were bad at it...turns out...we were awful.

its hard. i feel i was extremely depressed and still am a little. i was so unhappy with everything. if she is refusing counseling...maybe encourage her to see someone on her own. you have to understand...you can't make her happy. she has to be happy with herself first. 

i could go on forever. feel free to ask me questions...like i said our situations are the same. let me leave u with this. if you truely love her...fight for her. fight for your marriage. don't give up.

libra23


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## Wats

Thanks for the encouraging words. I don't plan on giving up. I read the book "The Five Love Languages" and found my wifes language is 'acts of sevice' and I have been changing over the past 2-3 years and intend to be the man she wants me to be. She definitely has her mind made up to leave me but she can't right now because she doesn't have a job. She has asked that I basically stay away from her and give her space but she will talk with me if I don't bring up her leaving. I feel certain as of now that when she gets her feet she will move out. She has agreed to go to the first session of counseling but says it's only to help me get through this. She has been telling me for years she was unhappy and I just didn't hear it. I would just brush it off and it would subside for a while then it was back again. I know I haven't been the husband she hoped for but I am making some major changes in my life and pray she is seeing.

Libra, did you feel you didn't love your husband anymore when you moved out?


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## libra23

Wats-

Yes, that is exactly how I felt...in fact, it was my main reason for leaving. I truely felt as though I wasn't "in love" with him anymore. Before I moved out, I told him that I would do marriage counseling but I too, thought i was doing it for him. So that he would be okay without me. 

Do you think she would be willing to tell you why she is unhappy? To get at why she wants to move out, without actually talking about it.


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## Wats

She's told me that she is tired of feeling like the only adult in the relationship. We seem to get deeper and deeper in debt and she feels like it's all my fault. She hasn't held a regular job since we've been married for very long....maybe two years max. She feels that I don't respect her and disregard her feelings and that was true a few years ago but I really have changed. She feels I can't support my family and I continue to spend with no care but for myself. I see my wrongs and I'm making changes. I'm selling the unnecessary things and getting back to basics. I'm getting a second job to make things work and repairing and doing things around the house because I've made the choice to love her and she is why I'm doing these things. I want to be the man she wants me to be. I want to be the man she needs. I'm a gentle spirit and love my children, I don't have anger issues, I don't think I'm bad to look at..hahaha! I'm 40 years old and in good shape physically. I just need to show her that I realize my mistakes and I am changing things. I will not pressure her any longer about staying but I will let her know I do love her and regardless of the outcome I am a changed man.


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## krash88

Hi all, I just found this post on Google since I'm basically going through the same thing. I'm 29 and my wife is 25, married for seven years and we have a wonderful three year old son. I won't go into detail about my troubles except that 4 days ago I received the same bomb-shell that you did Wats. Wife refused counseling and the lot. I did buy an e-book online that, surprisingly, she read with me. Here's a link if you want to check it out - Marriage Counseling Tips to Stop Divorce and Save Marriage

It convinced my wife to attend counseling even though she says it's all just for my closure. I'm glad to hear your wife is willing to go now. From what I've read, buying time is the key. If she refuses to go, try telling her that in order for you to be a better person, regardless of what happens to you and her, that you need her to tell the counselor about you so he/she can better help you. She would probably jump at the chance to tell someone all of your faults and in the meantime the counselor will probably turn her around to look at herself. Just getting her there is the big step.

I haven't been to my first session yet, but at least my wife is going. Hold on to that and never let go. 

I can't help to think that, like me, you've probably fallen short on promises in the past and saying that you've changed doesn't hold a lot of weight right now. Try telling her that while changing on your own has been very difficult, that you're convinced that with help it will stick. Admitting your own faults is great, it's probably one of the toughest things one can do, but don't beat yourself up too bad. Remember, it takes two to tango. If she can't see her own faults then she may very well be doomed to the same consequences in another relationship, should it go in that direction. 

I wish you the greatest of luck on saving this life-long investment. Hold your head high, as hard as it may be, and resolve to at least help yourself. 

I'm sure that with your strength and the help of God, you two can see this through and be stronger in the end!


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## Wats

Thank you all for the encouraging words and prayer.

I have some additional information I'd like to share with you that came about over the weekend. I found a letter from a guy friend of hers and it was basically a letter telling her he had always loved her and wanted to move back to our state to be with her. She went to school with this guy and they were friends but she hasn't spoken to him in years and years. She told him she was leaving me before she told me. she is on the phone a lot with him and also on the internet chat with him. This guy has been married before and is now engaged to another woman but since my wife told him she was leaving me he has been making advances on her. She told me he wasn't showing interest in her and I found this letter and it all broke loose. She want to a class reunion dinner and he was there. This was a couple of weeks ago and he walked her to her car and kissed her. She told me this. I know he is not why she is leaving me but she refuses to admit she is having an emotional affair with this guy. She keeps telling me there is nothing left between us and this guy making advances is not helping our situation. Any advice?


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## draconis

I'd say the relationship is over and you are not going to get her back. Move on, the more you dwell on this the weaker you seem to her and push her away more. Maybe down the line things will be different. Maybe you have learned enough that the next girl you are crazy about will be the one for you and will love you back as you want her too.

draconis


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## krash88

Personally, it doesn't look good, but if she is still willing to go to counseling then go anyway. Go by yourself even if she won't. It could only do you good in your next relationship even if it doesn't help this one. Who knows, it might. If you feel that it's worth fighting for, don't stop. Don't be weak, but don't stop trying. 

It might not be what you want to hear, but if she does leave and hooks up with this guy, it will probably blow up in her face. He doesn't seem like a very moral person in the first place. At least you know that you can be strong and that you tried when she didn't.

Good luck!


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## Wats

Thank you all,

We went to counseling last night and she didn't reject the counselors next appointment but she was very adoment that she was through and had given up. She took the appointment card from the counselor and was kind of on the fence about a 'therapeutic separation'. There are so many things I've said to hurt her and vise versa but she just can't forgive me for those things I said and we were very young when these things were said. When we were young and a guy would be talking to her I would ask her 'you sure this guy isn't trying to get in your pants?' And she interpreted that as me saying 'why would anyone talk to you except for sex'. I never said that and even years ago I tried to tell her that's not what I was saying. This was well over 10 years ago and she still won't forgive me for that. I can understand why she would see it that way. There are so many things that each of us has done to hurt the other and I've long since forgiven her but she still hangs on to things. She can't forgive me.


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## krash88

I can understand exactly where you're coming from on the misinterpretation of words and actions. For example, sometimes I would have a beer before coming home from work after a stressful day. Not drunk or over the limit by any means, but my wife could smell it. She told me just recently that she felt I couldn't stand being around her or have sex with her unless I had a beer. I've also told her that this wasn't the reason behind my actions and that by holding this in for so long she has done damage to her own self esteem. I explained that if I felt relaxed after work then I was generally more open and felt like doing more when I got home than just lye around the house. Of course after seven years the feeling are so deeply set that I'm not sure anyone but a therapist could help her get past them. At least I hope they can and I hope that it will help your wife as well. Hang in there man, at least she's still going with you to the counseling. I wish you the best!


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## Wats

Is there any advice on what to do about this other guy she keeps e-mailing, texting, phoning and vise versa? I'm paying for my wife to have an emotional affair with another man. I just really don't know how to handle it and it's driving me insane. I'm thinking about moving out until she gets settled somewhere else but should I do that? She's the one that wants to leave. She can't afford the house payment or anything else for that matter since she's not working. I guess I should see a lawyer to see what actions I need to take to prepare for the worst.

All advice is welcome and thanks for the support.


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## draconis

See a lawyer.

Get a keylogger.

draconis


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## libra23

Hi Wats:

wow. when i read your posts...i feel like i am reliving my actions! after i told my husband it was over and refused counseling, i started seeing someone. i kept telling myself that because i had told my husband it was over, it was ok and i wasn't doing anything wrong. my therapist (i saw one solo for a while) told me this guy was my catalyst and i think she was right. i was unhappy in my marriage and he was my way out...or at least someone who i thought was going to make everything better and make all my problems disappear. my husband eventually found out and it was via my cell phone...texting, call history etc. 

i guess what i am trying to say is...are you prepared to take her back if she commits adultery? if not...see a lawyer. i have a feeling she is thinking/going through what i did...she thinks this guy will make her happy and will make everything better. it might take some time but she will probably end up as i did. finding out the grass on the other side of the fence is the same color as the side she is on. that problems just don't magically disappear by running away from them. was there a time in your marriage when you loved each other conditionally? remind her of the years you have spent together, that you love her. again and again...it will eventually sink in.

if you are willing to wait it out and give her space (and i am not saying you should...i can't believe my husband did) i have a feeling she will come to same realization i did. 

my husband and i are doing well. we take things one day at a time and communicate about everything. i think we both realize the hurt we have put each other thru and nothing is left unsaid. it hurts more to let it bottle up. and as selfish as this sounds...i am having more trouble forgiving myself than he is forgiving me. encourage her to see a therapist by herself. it sounds to me like she is really unhappy/depressed and she thinks this other guy will make her happy.

Good Luck...
Libra23


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## kajira

Wats,

After reading your posts I feel like your "wife" is me. My husband and I have been living in the same house but in seperate rooms since the end of September. I just returned from a three week out of town trip due to a death in the family. I was hoping I would feel different about the relationship but I do not. He is finally doing all those things I have wanted for years ie. wanting hugs, holding hands, snuggling etc. and now it just makes me blah. He is being so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. I keep telling him to give me time, but he is almost smothering me and I do not know what do to. We have been married 18 years and have four children, three at home. I to like your wife feel like it is too little to late. I am educated, have a good job, however, my self esteem is shot. I want better, personally, emotionally and I feel like the only person who can do that for me is myself. I do not wish ill of my husband, I do love him but do not think I am "in" love with him.

Kajira


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## Wats

Hello all,

I wanted to get some opinions on the following;

Should I turn my wifes texting options off on her cell phone? I know she is still texting this guy and she isn't working. I'm paying for all this to go on and it's killing me. I don't know if she realizes how much she is hurting me. She found out about the keylogger I put on the computer and of course got very angry and said whats happening between her and this guy is unfortunate.....UNFORTUNATE!! When I stub my toe, it's unfortunate...when I lose my keys, it's unfortunate. When your wife is talking to another man that she plans on hooking up with when she's gone and they are making plans and chatting it up on my bill. That's sick and immoral. She has to know she is wrong but she refuses to admit it. I'm not sure what to do. Like I said, she is not working and still at home.....she's breaking my heart. I'm trying so hard to be strong but when I see her day in and day out.....I just can't help but break down.


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## draconis

If she is leaving you just stop the phone altogether. Additionally if you call the phone company you can get logs of ever text sent and recieved it may help you in court.

draconis


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## Wats

Thanks,

I've already spoken to a good friend who happens to be a divorce lawyer and I've begun writing up a separation agreement where I get the house and all the joint items in the house and I'll give her the van and I'll assume all debts which won't be that bad except for our daughters college loan. I think I'm going to try and have her pay a portion of that. I plan on covering her under my insurance until the divorce is final. Joint custody of Jacob with primary residence at my house. No other support from me for her after the divorce.

Oh, and her new boyfriend got her a phone. She told me it came in today. Of course, she didn't tell me that he got it for her. So, I'll be turning the phone off tomorrow. Hopefully, she'll think differently after she spends some real time with this guy.....maybe not......but I hope she does. I'm torn apart but I don't want to seem weak and I've been constantly after her to re-consider and give our marriage a chance. What should I be doing to make her see me in a different light.


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## kajira

Wats,
There is nothing you can do to make her see you in a different light. She has to want to see it and at this point I don't think she does. Like I stated before I see a lot of myself in your wife. I do wish the best for you though. Please keep us up to date. Your perspective gives me some insight to how my husband may be feeling.


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## draconis

Wats ~ I hope the best for you, we will be here incase of updates. I think we all learned some from your story.

draconis


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## Wats

I told my wife that I don't want her new number and she kind of apologized about it, telling me that it was her phone and she was going to pay this guy back. My wife and I met in Fredericksburg, which is about an hour from home, and went shopping for the the kids christmas presents Saturday afternoon. We talked and laughed and we had dinner at a restaraunt and again we talked and laughed and she seemed to enjoy the time we spent together. After dinner I walked her to the van and hugged her and spoke in her ear as I held her 'Thank you, I really enjoyed it.' She was hesitant about the hug at first but I just wrapped my arms around her and said that. All this is really breaking my heart. I wrote her a letter Friday and gave it to her Friday evening. There were some very personal things in the letter and I asked her to read it as she sat on the bed with me. She did and I asked her to keep it and she has. In the letter I told her some of the things that I loved about her and told her that the physical feature that I loved the most was the stretch marks on her belly....because it was part of me and part of her that made those marks and they would never go away. I noticed the letter on the bed near her pillow in the bedroom where she is sleeping now. I also went alone to the counselor session Saturday morning and as I was leaving I told my wife that I thought that it would be good if we saw the counselor separately for a 1/2 hour each and my wife said I could talk to the counselor about that.


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## draconis

Wats it is great that you are moving forward with your life. Glad to hear you are seeing a therapist to help put things into perspective for you.

draconis


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## Wats

I told my wife to pack her bags last night after I thought long and hard about what I should do. I told her that she can't be living here as my wife and having an emotional affair with this guy. I told her he was a piece of trash for sending a phone to our house. Our middle daughter signed for the package with the phone in it. I also told here a real man wouldn't be making advances on her or kissing her. A real man would simply tell her 'call me when the divorce is final'. I told my wife that I've thought about what is happening and what advice I'd give our son if he came to me with the same dilemma. If he came to me and said; 'Dad, we've been married for so long and now she says she doesn't love me and she's having an emotional affair with this guy she doesn't really know.' I'd respond; 'Son, you need to tell her to leave...pack her bags and get out. If she wants to leave and is telling you this, then tell her to leave'. The fact of the matter is you just can't compete with a fantasy and that's all it is right now. I told her I want her out by the weekend and she responds 'I was hoping to get through Christmas'. I told her this isn't what I want...it's what she wants. I told her she can't be leading a double life and continue to think I'll let her take advantage of me. She simply can't live with me as my wife and try to have an affair with another guy. I think I'm going to take it one step further and tell her not to bring that phone in the house. If she wants to talk to this piece of trash, then she can do it somewhere else. I told her I need to move forward and she needs to get out. Harsh, I know but it needs to be done. Hopefully a taste of reality will wake her up.


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## krash88

I hate to hear that things aren't getting any better, but maybe at least you know that you can survive this. 

I, at last, have some good news on my end. I have been diligent in showing my wife just how much I love her (leaving notes, sending flowers, paying for dinner, etc.) We went to a friends family reunion and she noticed how everyone treated her kindly despite the fact that I was close to the family before she and I met. She knew that I had never spoken badly about her even through all of our troubles. The next day while walking around the mall she held my hand. It felt like the first time. The next day she visited me at work and asked that we not separate, to which I gladly agreed. It felt like a ton of weight instantly lifted from my shoulders. I have resolved to show her every day how much I care and I hope I don't smother her. Communication is now our strong point where it was so weak before.

I hope my story helps if even just a little. There is a lot more to it, but I have to concentrate on other things at the moment. Not everyone gets another chance and I feel so fortunate to have it and to have my wife back. I sincerely think that your wife will realize that this other guy just can't live up to her expectations. I just wonder if, by then, you would even have her back. Good luck, stay true to yourself, and look forward to the future, whatever it may bring.


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## Wats

krash,

Such good news for you and I'm happy for you. I pray things will turn for us too.

Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for the words of encouragement and support.

I had told my wife that I wanted her to leave but then told her to please stay and she hasn't left yet. I did tell her that I really didn't want her there if she was going to pursue a life with another man but if she had the slightest doubt about things that she should stay. I told her I wasn't putting a time limit on anything. I hope she sees how much I love her by letting her stay at home. It's tearing me apart. She says she needs me to leave her alone about what is going on and give her space and that's what I intend to do. She has cut way back on talking to this other guy but she still can't see that this guy is a homewrecker and any real man would not make advances on a married woman and send her a phone to our house. My wife and I do speak and laugh together but once the marriage issue comes up she feels defensive and pushed. So, I won't say anymore about those things and I won't call her or hound her any longer. I told her if she wants to leave she needs to write up the separation agreement. She hasn't yet. Hopefully she won't and she'll turn around. Her mother told her she needs to stop and really think about what she's doing but she has no respect for her mom however, she has been speaking to her mother often lately as have I. Her mother doesn't want her to do this. Her family doesn't want her to do this but she needs to make the decision.


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## draconis

Wats said:


> krash,
> 
> Such good news for you and I'm happy for you. I pray things will turn for us too.
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for the words of encouragement and support.
> 
> I had told my wife that I wanted her to leave but then told her to please stay and she hasn't left yet. I did tell her that I really didn't want her there if she was going to pursue a life with another man but if she had the slightest doubt about things that she should stay. I told her I wasn't putting a time limit on anything. I hope she sees how much I love her by letting her stay at home. It's tearing me apart. She says she needs me to leave her alone about what is going on and give her space and that's what I intend to do. She has cut way back on talking to this other guy but she still can't see that this guy is a homewrecker and any real man would not make advances on a married woman and send her a phone to our house. My wife and I do speak and laugh together but once the marriage issue comes up she feels defensive and pushed. So, I won't say anymore about those things and I won't call her or hound her any longer. I told her if she wants to leave she needs to write up the separation agreement. She hasn't yet. Hopefully she won't and she'll turn around. Her mother told her she needs to stop and really think about what she's doing but she has no respect for her mom however, she has been speaking to her mother often lately as have I. Her mother doesn't want her to do this. Her family doesn't want her to do this but she needs to make the decision.


I really do not understand you standing beside her as she cheats on you but it is not my choice to make. I wish you the best of luck.

draconis


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## Wats

Well, 

I guess it's hard to understand all the circumstances especially with all the little bits that aren't shared with you guys but last night my wife and I had a talk and it seemed very positive and she wasn't rejecting everything I said and she seemed as though she had realized what she was doing and she asked that I not humiliate her with the e-mails I had captured with the spy software. I told her that wasn't important to me. I told her that the only thing I cared about was her and our children and I wouldn't care if we lived in a box as long as we were together and asked that she please not turn her back on me. I told her again that if she was going to pursue a life with another man then I really didn't want her there but if she had any doubt she really needs to stay. I'm feeling that she is changing her mind about what is going on and I said to her as she left the room to please stay here at home and don't look for a place to rent and she nodded her head as though she would stay. I feel in my heart that the best thing right now is to leave her alone and give her the space she needs and take things one day at a time. She has to know how much I love her and I feel she really loves me too. She just needs space and time. That's my feelings right now. Please continue to pray for us and our family.

I see your point Draconis but the fact of the matter is she is doing this because she wasn't getting what she needed from me. That is my fault. It is my responsibility to make my wife happy. She hasn't been intimate with this loser and hopefully it will never come to that but the fact remains that it is my fault and if given the chance I will always place her ahead of me and treat her as she should be treated. I see my failures and short-comings and I will never let that happen again. I let my hurt turn to anger and then resentment which in turn led to this happening to our marriage. We both haven't put any effort into our relationship in a long time and I pray I will get another chance.

I'll keep you all informed. Thank you so much.


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## draconis

I will pray for you.

Best of luck.

draconis


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## macman

I 'm having the same problem with my wife,,,
wondering how you made out...

thx


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