# what to do when children don't want to stay with their father?



## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi all.

I have been moved out of the marital home for a whole week now, still a few boxes to go!

This weekend the kids were supposed to spend the night with their father. They thought about it and changed their minds a dozen times before saying no. 

Do others have this problem? I am scared hubby will say I am not letting them go, or encouraging them against the idea. I haven't said not to go, I told them it is important for them to see thier father, etc. I haven't completely bribed them as maybe they need the security of being with one parent for a time? I know H wouldn't understand this as it comes under 'physological b******t' as far as he is concerned.

I don't want the kids to be worried at all, and it has only been a week. I saw H the other day and the eldest. I had to growl at her for hurting my son, and H later, (after asking if we would get back together) said I was picking on the poor girl as son had started it. They are 6 years apart in age! Anyway, I said we obviously still had things to sort out before talking about getting back together and I thought it would turninto a positive experience for his kids anyway. 

Then today I saw him at sport and he asked me for money to pay for something his daughter wanted to do. He was later annoyed at me as he had to reset the internet and couldn't. so that apparently was my fault as well. In the past I was incharge of a lot of the tech stuff. He has to learn those skills like I have to learn to do my own manual labor. 

Then he asked us all for dinner at a resturant, I decided not to go and he sounded disappointed. I relised I was only going out of habit of doing what he wanted to keep him happy and nice. He can say quite horrid things when he doesn't get his way, and I have began to pander to him to avoid the nastiiness. It isn't always what he says, but the attitude and the incinuations that get to me. The younger daughter does it as well.

Anyway, I would really like to know how others handle the children not wanting to visit the ex, or if it is just early days and to let it go?
Thanks


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