# New Married Member



## lovher (7 mo ago)

Hello everyone, I am a wife of 12 yrs 3 kids and a unhappy experience. I'm looking forward to joining and jumping into some chats. I wish everyone well no matter where you are or who you are with. We all deserve true happiness in our lives no matter how bad things might have been. You can always decide to change and become more than what you are going through.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

lovher said:


> Hello everyone, I am a wife of 12 yrs 3 kids and a unhappy experience. I'm looking forward to joining and jumping into some chats. I wish everyone well no matter where you are or who you are with. We all deserve true happiness in our lives no matter how bad things might have been. You can always decide to change and become more than what you are going through.


Welcome to TAM @lovher ! Sorry to hear about your unhappy experience, do you want to talk about that?

TAM has wonderful people from almost every experience so maybe someone can help!


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Welcome. 

Care to elaborate on your unhappy experience? Perhaps we can provide some insight.


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## lovher (7 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Welcome.
> 
> Care to elaborate on your unhappy experience? Perhaps we can provide some insight.


My husband thinks I trapped him into marriage and has started to act very angry, aggressive and mean to wards me. He stopped dating me even before covid....blames me for ever wrong thing.... He says if i didnt give him kids so early he could do more. I got pregnant my last year of college. I graduated with my baby in the stroller and #2 in the oven. It wasn't planned but I feel so guilty now and i dont know why. he has changed a lot towards me since we met in high school. I am also diagnosing him as a Narcissists' which I started to learn about after I caught him cheating last year. I dont want to breaak up my family but he is making it impossible to keep it together. He brings up things i did 15 yrs ago over and over again. Its like a bad dream happening over and over. Its why I joined. I have never cheated on him and i treat him way better because of my faith but I no longer want to feel like a dog or a rug. Im also posting this as a new Thread. Thanks for asking @D0nnivain


D0nnivain said:


> Welcome.
> 
> Care to elaborate on your unhappy experience? Perhaps we can provide some insight.


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## lovher (7 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Welcome to TAM @lovher ! Sorry to hear about your unhappy experience, do you want to talk about that?
> 
> TAM has wonderful people from almost every experience so maybe someone can help!


 thank you and yes its why i joined!!. Talking to him gets no where and i am ashamed of how he treats me so i stay away from family and friends.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

He is having a midlife crisis & blaming you. That sucks but try switching things around on him. When he starts ranting that you & the kids held him back, quietly ask him what his dreams were that were not fulfilled. Then offer to brainstorm with him about how he can achieve those goals now, as a married father. 

Before you say you are too old, I'm guessing you two are in your mid-30s. DH & I weren't even married then. DH reinvented himself at least twice since we got married, which included graduating from college. I opened my own business in my mid-30s. Life is not over but it may take some doing to realize his goals. 

That said, if he cheated on you there is no good reason to stay IMO, but that is easier said than done.


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## lovher (7 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> He is having a midlife crisis & blaming you. That sucks but try switching things around on him. When he starts ranting that you & the kids held him back, quietly ask him what his dreams were that were not fulfilled. Then offer to brainstorm with him about how he can achieve those goals now, as a married father.
> 
> Before you say you are too old, I'm guessing you two are in your mid-30s. DH & I weren't even married then. DH reinvented himself at least twice since we got married, which included graduating from college. I opened my own business in my mid-30s. Life is not over but it may take some doing to realize his goals.
> 
> That said, if he cheated on you there is no good reason to stay IMO, but that is easier said than done.


Thanks so much as I have been waking up little by little. I do understand that he is having the crisis and making it unbearable to enjoy life anymore. There really is no good reason anymore. I have been holding on only to get more hurt. Im building my strength back and people like you are helping.


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