# Hey



## 💜Rachel💜

Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂

Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try


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## EleGirl

💜Rachel💜 said:


> Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂
> 
> Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try


 What is it about your ex that is so appealing to you?

How did that relationship end?


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## Casual Observer

💜Rachel💜 said:


> Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂
> 
> Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try


Have you been in contact with your ex while married? Does your husband know about this? Hard to believe it isn't affecting him, whether he knows or not. Why is your ex your ex?


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## sokillme

Your poor husband. So he is basically just some security and a charge account. 

He probably has no idea right? Gotta wonder what your kids have picked up on and how it will effect their relationships, probably not well. After all this is their Father whose wife has been pining away for another man his whole marriage.

21 years wasted.


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## Dictum Veritas

Go be with your ex then. Just don't ask your husband for alimony, assets or support in any form. The wonderful ex can take care of all that.

I feel bad for your husband, you took up the valuable space where an actual loving woman could have been. Wow to think of it, were it not for you, he could have had an actual wife for all these years.

Whatever reason you have for having wasted your husbands life and affections on the farce and falsehoods you are responsible for is unexpectable.

There are names for people sleeping with others for gains in the absence of love, I am Afrikaans speaking, can someone please refresh my memory as to what those are again?


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## EleGirl

Dictum Veritas said:


> Go be with your ex then. Just don't ask your husband for alimony, assets or support in any form. The wonderful ex can take care of all that.
> 
> I feel bad for your husband, you took up the valuable space where an actual loving woman could have been. Wow to think of it, were it not for you, he could have had an actual wife for all these years.
> 
> Whatever reason you have for having wasted your husbands life and affections on the farce and falsehoods you are responsible for is unexpectable.
> 
> There are names for people sleeping with others for gains in the absence of love, I am Afrikaans speaking, can someone please refresh my memory as to what those are again?


Are you thinking of the term "gold digger"?


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## ccpowerslave

That’s an awful lot of your life burned away. You should consider trying to hook up with your ex if he is available.


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## Al_Bundy

You're one of the sun hat brigade. Welcome.

Look, just put it out there girl. Ex was the hot bad boy, banged you out good. Current husband is the provider type. Good guy, wouldn't hurt a fly, but boring AF. 

Am I right?


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## SunCMars

EleGirl said:


> Are you thinking of the term "gold digger"?


Add in bold digger, the husband being the cold-sold digger.


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## SunCMars

Rachel, I will let the others rashly put you in your place.
Not that you have not inspired our posters to do this.

What do you want from us as commentators?
What do you want to do with these feelings for that other man who '_got away_'?


Please fill us in on _his situation_ (the ex bf) and whether you are still in contact with him.

This is very important for us to work through, without us doing a lot of second-guessing.

Please don't post once and vanish.

Thank you.



_Nemesis-_


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## dadstartingover

*The One That Got Away*


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## ConanHub

💜Rachel💜 said:


> Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂
> 
> Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try





💜Rachel💜 said:


> Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂
> 
> Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try


A couple of tips. If that's going your avatar, you will want to change it to something that represents you instead of actually you even though it is a good picture.😉

Next, please have some thick skin because you will get some blasts here but you will also get some really good advice if you hang out for a while.

There are some eminently qualified folks here that will help you. I might even be one of them.

Keep posting and hope to hear more of your story.


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## sideways

I feel bad for your husband. He has no idea he's living a lie with you. He deserves to know the truth but more than likely you won't tell him.


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## jonty30

💜Rachel💜 said:


> Hey, I'm a married woman with 4 of my own children, and gradually became a second mum to all their friends.😬 who most call me mum. 😂
> 
> Anyway as I said I'm married now, been together for 18 years. I have no idea why I'm still married. I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him. I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. So I thought I would give a forum a try


You're in love with a ghost. He's died and been renewed a thousand times, since you knew him. He's probably not the same man he was when you knew him.
If he is anything like you, he's not going to want those 4 kids and he's probably been banging a lot of hot chicks since you knew him. If he is married, he's likely not going to ruin his marriage with a woman who ruined her marriage and abandoned her own kids. 

You knew him in a more enjoyable time of your life. 

My advice to you is to forget about your ghost, because this will not turn out well for you if you do not turn back towards your marriage and renew your love for your husband. 
You're going to throw away your life, all over a ghost.


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## Rob_1

jonty30 said:


> renew your love for your husband.


What??? renew what?? dude didn't you read her statement 



💜Rachel💜 said:


> Anyway as I said I'm married now, *been together for 18 years.* I have no idea why I'm still married. *I've spent the last 21 years wanting my ex*, I don't think I've had a day without thinking of him.


She has never loved her husband for her to renew anything.


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## Al_Bundy

Alpha widow


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## MattMatt

Welcome Rachel. What are your feelings for your husband? Who is the father of your children?

Have you been faithful to each other?


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## Evinrude58

Your post scares me to death.

It’s been 21 years. This ex shouldn’t burn so brightly in your mind unless there has been communication with him.
You’ve been in communication with him all this time, haven’t you?!!


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