# Newly married, wife horny but doesn't want to have sex with me😩help



## Jordan88

Hi 

Am new to this site and this is my 1st post online ever
Any advice or suggestions would very helpful🙈 please 

Been married for 8month now, my wife says she gets horny for sex but doesn't want to have sex with me, also saying that she happy at home and our lifestyle just doesn't want to have sex with me,

B4 we got married we had a child broke up and got back together, when I got back with her she said she now religious and can't have sex till were married, It was very had but I respected that and waiting about 2 years, there was the odd slip up but that was very rare,b4 we had our child we was having sex all the time, she says it's not a attraction thing or a unhappy thing just she gets horny and has sexual dreams but the thought of having sex with me is a put off

Am losing my mind making any sense of it, cause she brought it to my attention since we haven't had in sex 3 months and I love my home but this is crazy am on thin ice on just calling it off as I feel am just being played for a fool or this is all done so I leave 

Don't know what to do or say but I love her she says she love me we got a 6year old that's very happy but where do we go from here any help or suggestions would be grateful 🙏

She is currently 18 weeks pregnant which was planned by her which I agreed but this is the reason I've not just walked away
Was together for 3 years then broke up for a while and got back for two years then got married 

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## Relationship Teacher

If she is pregnant, it is almost certainly hormones.


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## zookeeper

Jordan88 said:


> Hi
> 
> Am new to this site and this is my 1st post online ever
> Any advice or suggestions would very helpful🙈 please
> 
> Been married for 8month now, my wife says she gets horny for sex but doesn't want to have sex with me, also saying that she happy at home and our lifestyle just doesn't want to have sex with me,
> 
> B4 we got married we had a child broke up and got back together, when I got back with her she said she now religious and can't have sex till were married, It was very had but I respected that and waiting about 2 years, there was the odd slip up but that was very rare,b4 we had our child we was having sex all the time,* she says it's not a attraction thing or a unhappy thing just she gets horny and has sexual dreams but the thought of having sex with me is a put off*
> 
> Am losing my mind making any sense of it, cause she brought it to my attention since we haven't had in sex 3 months and I love my home but this is crazy am on thin ice on just calling it off as I feel am just being played for a fool or this is all done so I leave
> 
> Don't know what to do or say but I love her she says she love me we got a 6year old that's very happy but where do we go from here any help or suggestions would be grateful 🙏
> 
> She is currently 18 weeks pregnant which was planned by her which I agreed but this is the reason I've not just walked away
> Was together for 3 years then broke up for a while and got back for two years then got married
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is absolutely an attraction problem. Don't think that attraction is all about the physical. You may be just fine physically, but there can be other issues that are making you repellent. 

Generally, men are better at separating physical from other things. If she looks good and we're in the mood, our physical attraction can temporarily overpower these non-physical issues. For a woman, it can be more difficult. If there are problems with trust, finances, emotional connection, etc. it can make you very unattractive to her. 

If sex is important to you, you must get to the bottom of this. If she sees it as a problem and is willing to work on it, there is hope. If she is not willing to make any effort to improve the situation, you are doomed.


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## JohnA

Not sure of your timeline. 

You got together 7 plus years ago (you have a child who is 6)
Broke up after ????
What happened while broken up? Did you have any contact?
Got back together ????
Occasionally slipped and had sex. 
Got married 18 months ago. 
She became pregnant 3 1/2 months ago 

Did she point out lack of sex to you? 
What does she do when horny? 
What faith does she adhere to?


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## unbelievable

She had sex with you to get a kid and then lost interest until she decided she wanted another. She put out long enough to get pregnant again. She is not sexually into you but may have some interest in your wallet or just some desire to be a mom.


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## jb02157

*Re: Newly married, wife horny but doesn't want to have sex with me&#55357;&#56873;help*



unbelievable said:


> She had sex with you to get a kid and then lost interest until she decided she wanted another. She put out long enough to get pregnant again. She is not sexually into you but may have some interest in your wallet or just some desire to be a mom.


This is the same thing I was thinking. Usually in this kind of situation, the woman wants to have a quick couple kids and leave with the guys money.


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## Jordan88

After the 1st year of our relationship she feel pregnant, we broke up 3 years later 

Broke up as it weren't working and she ended up talking to someone whilst there was problems And i ended up doing the same which I know is wrong 

Two years apart ( claimed she was single all that time )


Got back for two years then got married,

She mentioned it to me (but it was on my mind) 

Been married for 8months now 

She may be stressed but there seems to a pattern when it comes to sex, we run a entertainment business from home so we work together which can be stressful


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## Jordan88

JohnA said:


> Not sure of your timeline.
> 
> You got together 7 plus years ago (you have a child who is 6)
> Broke up after ????
> What happened while broken up? Did you have any contact?
> Got back together ????
> Occasionally slipped and had sex.
> Got married 18 months ago.
> She became pregnant 3 1/2 months ago
> 
> Did she point out lack of sex to you?
> What does she do when horny?
> What faith does she adhere to?


Oh yeah she a studying jehovah witness 
When she horny she sorts her self out 

She pointed out he lack of sex and just said I don't know what it is but I don't feel like having sex with you but I do get horny


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## Jordan88

unbelievable said:


> She had sex with you to get a kid and then lost interest until she decided she wanted another. She put out long enough to get pregnant again. She is not sexually into you but may have some interest in your wallet or just some desire to be a mom.


That has crossed my mind but we ain't making that much money but we have a new exciting business which involes working doing things she love which could be reason she actually likes me, she suggested marriage cause of her religion I weren't to bothered but I can't get down with fake love so your probably right in what your sayin from looking at it from the outside


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## jerry123

Welcome, I assume from your name you were born in 1988? If so that makes you 28...

With age comes wisdom. If you were 20 years older you'd most likely say ok. Here are divorce papers and I'll go find someone who wants to have sex with me. You're in for a long road with the kids and a woman like this. 

So you two are only having sex to procreate? That's a big red flag. And if I understand, she gets horny and masterbates instead of having sex with her husband. 

Run forest....Run.
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## Jordan88

jerry123 said:


> Welcome, I assume from your name you were born in 1988? If so that makes you 28...
> 
> With age comes wisdom. If you were 20 years older you'd most likely say ok. Here are divorce papers and I'll go find someone who wants to have sex with me. You're in for a long road with the kids and a woman like this.
> 
> So you two are only having sex to procreate? That's a big red flag. And if I understand, she gets horny and masterbates instead of having sex with her husband.
> 
> Run forest....Run.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah thats what she says


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## unbelievable

A woman put cheese out for a mouse every day until the trigger tripped and the mouse was caught. After that, she never returned with more cheese. I'm thinking she was never interested in feeding a mouse but only interested in capturing one. What does this woman get for capturing you? Financial support? She has already done all she ever needs to do to get paid for at least the next 18 years. Even if you can't or won't support her and the kids, the state will....because she has kids. Having sex with you doesn't pay. Making babies does.


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## unbelievable

Jordan88 said:


> That has crossed my mind but we ain't making that much money but we have a new exciting business which involes working doing things she love which could be reason she actually likes me, she suggested marriage cause of her religion I weren't to bothered but I can't get down with fake love so your probably right in what your sayin from looking at it from the outside


Are you telling us that married or not she has no way of supporting herself that does not involve you? Other than making a couple babies what has she done to prepare herself to support herself? You might not blow her skirt all the way up but hanging with you probably beats starvation.


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## Herschel

My wife stopped having sex with me and eventually I found out she was a lesbian.
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## Jordan88

Yeah that looks like that's the best option to get myself out of this as soon as i can ,her being pregnant right now makes its difficult for me to walk out on her right now but I don't believe it's hormones as it's been Like this from before she was pregnant but it's got a lot worst and only now she wants to say this is the reason she don't want to have sex, think I try a counciling session then just cool it off


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## turnera

There are other ways besides intercourse for you two to have sex. Tell her you're not interested in marriage unless you're having sex with your wife.


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## Jordan88

Herschel said:


> My wife stopped having sex with me and eventually I found out she was a lesbian.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


ml

Serious! Dont know why woman like to put on a front and get married the real them eventually comes out


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## Jordan88

turnera said:


> There are other ways besides intercourse for you two to have sex. Tell her you're not interested in marriage unless you're having sex with your wife.


Guess I could try that but when i actually read back what I've wrote the more I realise it's a dead end that I should of seen this coming, all the religious stuff was just used as a excuse


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## turnera

Well, the reason I said to say that is because women stop wanting to have sex with men they don't see as the stronger one. By you accepting 'no sex' you became the weak person in the marriage, and the longer you accepted it, the weaker (and more undesirable) you looked and felt to her. So if you aren't ready to divorce, the first step you should take would be telling her it's not acceptable. the second step would be to start becoming more aggressive in the bedroom. I don't mean in a rude or mean way, I mean being how you were when you were dating - pursue her, sweep her off her feet, get her hot and heavy so she doesn't want to say no.


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## Anon Pink

Jordan88 said:


> Guess I could try that but when i actually read back what I've wrote the more I realise it's a dead end that I should of seen this coming, all the religious stuff was just used as a excuse


Well duh! Jehova Witness! Mighta been a good idea to learn a thing or twenty about the cult she's hanging with before marrying her and getting her pregnant.

Have you always been this easy to manipulate or is it just this woman?


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## jerry123

@anon
I wouldn't beat the guy up like that. He came here for advice. 
You know how some women are. This one could have done the best bait and switch on anyone. He just happened to be the guy she did it to. 

Live and learn next time. Life's a serious of ups and downs. Your next step is to pick yourself up and move on.
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## Jordan88

Anon Pink said:


> Jordan88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Guess I could try that but when i actually read back what I've wrote the more I realise it's a dead end that I should of seen this coming, all the religious stuff was just used as a excuse
> 
> 
> 
> Well duh! Jehova Witness! Mighta been a good idea to learn a thing or twenty about the cult she's hanging with before marrying her and getting her pregnant.
> 
> Have you always been this easy to manipulate or is it just this woman?
Click to expand...

Trust me I've looked into all that b4 we got married ,looked at what she studying and the Morals she following, even support her and encourage her with it so she feels there some respect for her belief,her friends that are in it everything as the the way they are meant to behaviour married is a big deal,

But it's only since we have got marred I've noticed that She can spend up to 20hours a week doing religious stuff but still act the opposite to what she studying towards her family

Anyhow Maybe I had high expections as I don't get how people can do both and expect God blessing, 

Cut a long story short I Didn't sign up for this and Expections are not met at all so I will be finding my way out of this


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## Jordan88

unbelievable said:


> A woman put cheese out for a mouse every day until the trigger tripped and the mouse was caught. After that, she never returned with more cheese. I'm thinking she was never interested in feeding a mouse but only interested in capturing one. What does this woman get for capturing you? Financial support? She has already done all she ever needs to do to get paid for at least the next 18 years. Even if you can't or won't support her and the kids, the state will....because she has kids. Having sex with you doesn't pay. Making babies does.


In the UK females with babies make more money than going out work when single till there child over a certain age so being married has cut her own income without her having to work for it

But then I own a business and she get paid for work though me which isn't the the same as doing nothing and getting paid so starvation is better than nothing


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## SunCMars

Wait until the baby is born before leaving. Those children are your responsibility, also. Make sure they are safe and comfortable after you leave. The wife....not so much.


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## WorkingWife

jerry123 said:


> And if I understand, she gets horny and masterbates instead of having sex with her husband.


AND tells him about it! I'm horny but I don't want you.

Thats cold.



jerry123 said:


> Run forest....Run.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good advice.

If she would say why she didn't want him - something he could work on or fix, that would be one thing. But to say "I don't know why I don't want you but don't worry, I just sort my horniness out by myself..." Yee gads.


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## WorkingWife

Jordan88 said:


> She pointed out he lack of sex and just said I don't know what it is but I don't feel like having sex with you but I do get horny


That is actually cruel.

Either she is deeply angry at you for something - maybe on a subconscious level? - that is killing her attraction to you, or she is just plain mean.

It is possible you do not satisfy her in bed and she finds having sex with your frustrating, but even it that were true, she could come up with a delicate way to let you know what she wants/needs. It's not like you aren't asking her what's up.


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## Jordan88

WorkingWife said:


> Jordan88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> She pointed out he lack of sex and just said I don't know what it is but I don't feel like having sex with you but I do get horny
> 
> 
> 
> That is actually cruel.
> 
> Either she is deeply angry at you for something - maybe on a subconscious level? - that is killing her attraction to you, or she is just plain mean.
> 
> It is possible you do not satisfy her in bed and she finds having sex with your frustrating, but even it that were true, she could come up with a delicate way to let you know what she wants/needs. It's not like you aren't asking her what's up.
Click to expand...


She says I've hurt her in the past(is what she trying to put it down to) but this was cleared up before we got married but now am being told its still on her head after a recent agurement about something she blames me for that reminds her of it 

According to her the actual sex is good Which was about 2months ago just she now doesn't feel like it with me

Apparently it's not a attraction thing 

I believe there more going on in her head and I think she feels she don't need to tell me but for what I've been told it don't add up maybe it's all lies


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## jerry123

So I need to ask this, are you 10000000% sure all of your kids are actually yours?
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## Jordan88

jerry123 said:


> So I need to ask this, are you 10000000% sure all of your kids are actually yours?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've been through this in my head already in the past and am 100% sure without having to go into to much detail


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