# i think hubby is clinically depressed



## moongoddess (Aug 13, 2009)

I have an amazing husband. He would do anything for me and That is making it very difficult to explain why i'm feeling neglected. I adore him, we've been together for 11 years, married for 5 and have 3 wonderful children. He's my best friend and we have hobbies that we enjoy together. He is a very busy guy who works hard as an electrician and then puts in a few hours everyday working around the house.
Through out our entire relationship i have struggled with his negativity and at times his temper. He is very emotionally needy and somewhat controlling. He doesn't like me to do things without him but doesn't enjoy many of the things i want to do. When i have family in town or something, he almost always ends up causing a scene by picking a trivial fight with me and making me feel like i'm doing something wrong for enjoying myself. He doesn't understand why i would want to have a social life, i should be content with just my family. He tells me things like "if you were happy with me, you wouldn't need to do those things" and "you need to be focusing on your family". 
I worked 2 jobs and was in college full time before i had my kids, i put everything on hold so that i could stay home and raise my kids. Now that they are older, i'm back in school and have opened my own greenhouse business. I'm talking to my old friends and get invited to events often, but don't go because i feel guilty the whole time i'm there. 
I have been contemplating leaving him, not because i want to but because i've been slowly falling out of love with him. I can't stop hearing the things he's said to me, even when he's being wonderful. I'm really confused and could use some advise. Most women would think i was crazy because he is very attentive and would never leave me. All our issues seem to be based around his insecurities and negative attitude. I want to save my marriage and have been talking about all of this with him. He is really making an effort to take me out etc. But he doesn't want to admit he may have a chemical imbalance. Help.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

You dont need to leave him. You both need to work on your boundaries. There are some good books out there: Relationship Rescue book and workbook by Dr.Phil and Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Cloud and Townsend. these are the ones i have done in my marriage. 

you can also google boundaries and read what comes up. You just have to learn how to say no and separate yourself from his emotional issues and he needs to learn how to deal with his own problems instead of projecting his loneliness on you.

Also, it sounds like reading The five love languages would be helpful.


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