# Maybe there is justice in the world.



## Rock_Singer (Apr 23, 2016)

Maybe there is justice in the world.
I don't like to admit it, but after my divorce I would search for my exWife on the internet to see if there was anything about her. I don't know why. Maybe it was a sense of punishment for me. Once in a while I'll look again just to see.
My exWW gave up on our marriage so she could pursue a relationship with the OM back in 2004. 
She denied this at the time, but I knew her. We'd had issues before & after we were married. 
She ended up marrying the OM in 2006, so I knew my suspicions were correct.

She was hoping to be a novel writer...crime, supernatural, etc. 
Over the years I found out that she had published a few books & had them on Amazon. And that she liked to use pen names to do this.
Anyway Over the weekend I searched and found out things that I guess might suggest that there is justice in the world.
One thing led to a website & then to a pen name, and I found her blog.
I started reading it in dread. But the tone was different. A lot of it was a kind of self pity...about life, relationships, etc. Writing in a such way as a release of emotions and feelings.
The OM had filed divorce on her & left her. This was back in 2018. Four years ago.
He has already remarried since then in 2020.

She talks about love lost, how she was treated like trash on the side of the road....about how she let herself be taken advantage of....blah blah blah..bull$ht. That she had to leave the property they bought together, she had to move in with her mom, etc. She left her job as a LEO. Then moved to another small town.....so she could heal.
I guess over half her blog is about her relationship with this guy.
Only one mention about our life. That in her first marriage, she didnt take it seriously & that she was a bad immature wife.
I guess she was looking for readers to give her a hug & pat on the back.
To be honest I was happy when I read it. Finally she got what she did to me. Too bad I found out about it 4 years later.
She was someone that at one time I wanted to be with forever, love, care about....
BUt the writings just prove that she was the same person that left me. A very independent (not really sure if this is true), alpha-like woman....that doesnt need a man to be happy,,,blah blah..

If I ever had a message for her, I'd say....
"Just wanted you to know. After all this time, I still feel you are a horrible person.
I hope you feel this sadness for the rest of your life.
Because you hurt me & left me like a piece of garbage you talk about.
I wished I had never met you & let you into my life."


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

you need to let her go , stop looking her up on the net , we are here for you if you wish to talk about how your feeling , we can't talk about her and we are not interested in cheaters , if she got used I am sorry for her but it is for her to come to us , on the other hand it is best to stop looking her up on the net , it is only dragging on your pain


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

if it would make you feel better then send her a message.....consider it closure.


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

It's OK to look back....just don't look too long...you might not like what you see

Be well


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

Rock_Singer said:


> Maybe there is justice in the world.
> I don't like to admit it, but after my divorce I would search for my exWife on the internet to see if there was anything about her. I don't know why. Maybe it was a sense of punishment for me. Once in a while I'll look again just to see.
> My exWW gave up on our marriage so she could pursue a relationship with the OM back in 2004.
> She denied this at the time, but I knew her. We'd had issues before & after we were married.
> ...


ok now that you have had this, work on living your best life and then someday if she turns it around you can say-- good for her.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The only thing this tells me is that you still aren’t over it and it occupies too much space in your mind. It makes me feel sorry for your current partner.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Hopefully now you can finally and completely leave her in the past where she belongs — with all the other useless stuff.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enjoy it then move on. You dwell on her and the only one getting hurt is you.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear Rockstar_Singer

, 

Others are right you need to let go of this. Society usually has ceremonies for important transitions in life: coming of age or college graduation, marriage, death, etc. Divorce is one of those things that isn't celebrated with a ceremony. 

Perhaps you need to have some celebration to belatedly celebrate your divorce. I have heard of some women who get their bride's maids together, go to Las Vegas and go to male stripper clubs and end up at a gun range that rents fully automatic weapons. There they shoot at the divorcee's wedding gown, or marriage certificate, or pictures of the groom on the wedding day.

Perhaps you too need to figure out a celebration of divorce and put it behind you.

The best revenge is to live a full and happy life. Get on with your life, let it go and forgive that woman. She choose the miserable life she is not living. You are lucky to be free of her. Find a Life you enjoy full of experiences that make you feel good and a partner who values you.

Good luck.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

It’s sometimes human nature to want to see that there is some sense of justice - that people who have treated us badly, have reaped what they’ve sown. And sounds like she has. But, hopefully now you can let her go. Sounds like she’s the perpetual victim in all her stories. 😌


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

This happened 18 years ago and you still want revenge and you still haven't moved on.


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> This happened 18 years ago and you still want revenge and you still haven't moved on.


Some scars are permanent and those who cannot understand that are lucky that they have not been cut deep enough.


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## Rock_Singer (Apr 23, 2016)

I am moving on. I haven't looked her up for some time...well at least 4 years or more. Hence why I know what happened 4 years after the fact.
I understand the concern of someone doing what Ive done.

Yes it was hard at first to get over it all. During those first few months I couldnt help but try to find out the truth. 
Knowing what I knew, I didnt know if I wanted to live anymore....at the time I got what I needed to make it happen.
BUT Ive made it this far. 

Yes it guess it iss unfair to my partner. I got remarried about 2 years later. I did let it all go when I met them. We never talked about it together.
I didnt want my partner to feel compared at all. I truly was away from it all.

We've had our own issues since then though. My partner has had EAs a few times over the years. 
One major one via social media & sexting about 10 years ago.
She got in contact with someone via facebook & it took off. Before long they were texting multiple times a day & sending sexual videos of themselves to each other.
We were at the time trying to have a child via vitro & it didnt work. 
She was planning on leaving to pursue different men & have a party lifestyle. Maybe it was a harsh reaction to her not being able to have a child.

That was 10 years ago. My partner since the beginning has had a sense of animosity towards my family. She thinks they ruined my personality as a child....
Its a long story. But since that time, my family hasnt talked to her since then. They know all about the details of the EA. They were heartbroken.
At the time she refused to end it & I moved out for 2 months. So my family knows all about it all.
My partner refuses to make amends & confront all what they did to me. 
So the years pass by & rather than face it head on, we've just kept it the way it is. Who knows if she still contacts other men. I dont bother to look.

Maybe the way things would have turned out for better for me, I wouldnt have looked to see what my exWW was doing. I just dont know.
Having a marriage that ended with cheating & then to have the 2nd one go thru the same thing, is kind of discouraging.

I guess someone who is reading all this can blame me for it all. That there is something in me that made all this happen.
That maybe I shouldnt be with anyone. And I think I am going to do just that.
Let my W go live with her elderly family & I with mine, while we still have them around.

My original message was just to say to others that there might be some justice in the world.
It just took a while for me to see it. Knowing what I know, does bring some closure for me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rock_Singer said:


> I am moving on. I haven't looked her up for some time...well at least 4 years or more. Hence why I know what happened 4 years after the fact.
> I understand the concern of someone doing what Ive done.
> 
> Yes it was hard at first to get over it all. During those first few months I couldnt help but try to find out the truth.
> ...


Yo will know when you are over her when you stop hoping for bad things for her.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Lostinthought61 said:


> if it would make you feel better then send her a message.....consider it closure.


No. Don't do that.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Laurentium said:


> No. Don't do that.


why not get closure


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## Rock_Singer (Apr 23, 2016)

No I would never contact her. Nothing would be in value to do that.
I can't really remember which time was the last time I ever talked to her (which I guess is a good thing.)
But i had outed her to her work friends...at her job. I just left the flirt notes she was writing to the guy for them all to read.
She was very angry about it. I was reading the marriagebuilders material at the time & that method suggested outing out an affair.

We were going to a counselor the year prior. Thats when the affair was forming. I didnt know it at the time.
She was taking night courses to be a LEO. This guy was as well.
I didnt understand how someone could go to marriage counseling & then later that day go flirt with another man.
I found notes in her car that she was writing & exchanging with a guy in her night class. It was like they were 14 or so.
It had sexual references etc. It hurt me a lot to read all that. She denied it & said thats they way they have fun in class etc.

5 months later, I got the 'Im not in love with you anymore' speech.
I did convince her to see the same counselor again.
The counselor met with us a few times & she suggested we write letters to each other.
I kept those notes, knowing there was something to them. 
Sure enough, after she gave me the speech, she went the next day to the OMs house.
I couldnt take it, so I outed her to her workplace. Left the notes for them all to read.

Anyway after I outed her, she told me to never contact her again.
My letter to her was apologetic & sorry for all the little things I did to annoy her.
The letter I got from her....I never read. I let a family member read it. They didnt want me to read it.
They said it was very hostile....lots of use of thef F-word etc. She was cussing me out in the letter.
I'll never read it.

But anyway, I'd never contact her again. It wouldnt help me at all.


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