# Wife's question



## Recheldacuycuy (May 17, 2017)

Is just me or are there wives too that got married to husbands that doesnt bother giving presents? I dont know. It's not that i am asking presents from him but it just makes me feel special. Am i the only one that share the same feeling?


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We rarely give each other presents, even for anniversaries and birthdays. But we know what each other likes, so when we shop together and come across something special or unique, we'll treat each other.

Anyway, it sounds like your love languages include gifts, but it's not one he has. He probably needs to learn how to give presents, and might do better at it if he learns to understand how much it makes you happy.


----------



## EasyPartner (Apr 7, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> We rarely give each other presents, even for anniversaries and birthdays. But we know what each other likes, so when we shop together and come across something special or unique, we'll treat each other.
> 
> Anyway, it sounds like your love languages include gifts, but it's not one he has. He probably needs to learn how to give presents, and might do better at it if he learns to understand how much it makes you happy.


Same here... gifts are my least favorite love language, both on the giving as the receiving side. Not so for my GF... she loves it! Presents are def more important to her then to me and I know it.

So, having more money than imagination, I basically do what MbH does/recommends... last Xmas time, we came across a Michael Kors store -which she loves- and I said, take your pick, and kissed her. She said, best Xmas present ever :grin2:


----------



## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

I give my wife little gifts all the time...no reason just because I know it will make her happy. 

My last giftrextex Battery Powered Walking Dinosaur Toy That Roars And Shakes While Eyes Are Blinking.

Delivered with the very romantic comment: "Sweets for the sweet."


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I guess it depends on their love languages.

My primary love language is physical touch VERY closely followed by words of affirmation. Gifts were only 10% for me (I love getting a nice birthday pressie, who doesn't, lol).

For me, the greatest gift my husband can give me is his time. Fancy jewellrey and other trinkets may be pretty but they won't hold my hand while I fall asleep or snuggle with me when I'm sad.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear Recheldacuycuy;

Since no one has yet posted it. Chapman's book the Five Langues of Love, explains how most folks have a primary and secondary love language that makes them feel loved and cherished.

They are ; Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time; Acts of Service; and Presents

What Chapman points out is that many of us are clueless when it comes to expressing our live for our spouse in their love languages. He urges people to become fluent in love languages that are not their native love language.

Sounds like you and your H should get the book, read it, study it and put it into practice.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

It's truly amazing how many people buy into the Love Language thing. I honestly think it's just one man's theory there's really no way to prove. 

Irregardless of that, a husband really should buy his wife presents. Not doing so is inconsiderate. Whether or not it's her love language or whatever is irrelevant.


----------



## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

My wife doesn't really like surprises, so it's not something we do. I will say, though, that after being married for over 20 years, if there is some item we actually want we will go and buy it if we can swing it. If it's a major purchase we certainly confer first.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I do not leave anything to chance.

I button every button, close or lock every door.

When an Ill Wind blows it looks for a sail not tied down, a sail that will drag its owner down a deep hole.

Give Criticism-Weeds no soil to root.

What a stinkin' way to live, Eh?

Just sayin'


----------



## Daisy12 (Jul 10, 2016)

I have a hard time accepting gifts and I hate to waste money on myself as I have very few needs for material possessions. My love language is words of affirmation so a thoughtful note/text would go much further with me that a store bought gift. 

Also I can be particular so if it's something I really want I prefer to pick it out myself. That being said my husband has at time bought me such wonderful gifts that have nailed it out of the ballpark, but they were the kind of gifts that were custom made just for me.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Depends on the couple. My x wife never gave me presents outside of Christmas. I am learning that was more about her than women in general. I was 36 years old before a woman gave me something or did something for my birthday ,outside of my mother when I was growing up. I just didn't know any better because I had never been treated different. Course when it came to anniversaries, birthdays, Mother's Day god help you if I didn't do something big for her lol.

I think clear communication about expectations are the key. Tell your spouse what you want, need, expect.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

My husband isn't a gift guy either. For years I tried to do things his way, didn't work.

I like gifts and it doesn't have to be what one would normally consider a gift. A cupcake, a Hershey bar, flowers, hanging plant, house plant, anything with a bow on it. Giving a simply little "I love you" gift is so damn easy there really is no excuse not to do it especially if your spouse responds to those physical trinkets that demonstrate love and thoughtfulness.

So OP, tell your husband it's important to you and you want him to give you little gifts periodically.


----------



## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

I'm not big on gifts not even from my kids. I have always been gracious about getting gifts but it isn't something that changes my life one way or the other.

I much prefer presence to presents.


----------

