# Twas the night before.........



## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Twas the night before D-day and all thru the house,
Every creature was stirring, especially my spouse.
I looked on with wonder, why her phone earned her stare
Quietly texting her love for the man who was not there

Come nightfall everyone made ready for bed,
While visions of the KISA OM danced in her head
As she sleep, she erred and made a mistake,
Her phone was unlocked. Finally, the phone I shall take.

She opened her eyes to the sound of a clatter,
As I read her each text, boy, she is quite a dirty chatter.
Warm all over, like a Scarlett fever type rash,
I got suddenly ill and to the toilet to puke did I dash.

After the tears I wept out, She told me we were over
But why after so many years together, with more to grow older?
I begged her to stay, not knowing her yes was a fake,
Like a good ol' nice guy, "Here's some milk for that cake"

My ears could hear but my gut explained it better,
Then suddenly I remember I wrote Santa a letter.
Googled Infidelity, presto, TAM was there for the reading
My post asked the question "What to do, I am pleading?!"

Now Turnera, Now Chaparral
Now Velecet and Bfree
On MattMatt, On Bandit
On Gus Polinski and Blossom Leigh
Dozens more, so sorry to the ones that I miss
I remember you all, and Phillybeffandswiss

Timid, indecisive and scared sh1tless for months,
I wore the cap of the BH labeled " Doormat and Dunce"
Redundant my posts that these people began to tire,
At the lack of my backbone to my marriage which was dire

And then one day it hit me with a poof
A beast I could not run from, it was called the truth
As I drew in my senses and began to turn it around
I no longer felt weak, alone, defeated, Time for smiles, not frowns.

Armed with knowledge and tools a battle was afoot,
said to her affair and our marriage, "hi a55, meet my boot"
Her lies and tricks that were cast on my back
weighed me down no more, I am on the attack

Those eye's, I remember, so tempered and not merry
Her anger rose evermore as she tried to be scary
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
those Gaslighting attempts though, I would no longer kowtow
That bottom lip would be clenched tightly in between her teeth
As every lie she challenged me with I could easily defeat
Unraveling now, her world crumbles from the warning I got from my belly,
Oops, I mean gut, it is firm, not like jelly

Lost in this crap was the OM who looked like a homeless elf,
HAHAHAHAHAHA, What a joke, I am getting back to my old self
With a wink of my eye and a twist of my head,
" I warned you b1tch, Time for the action I once dread"

She spoke not a word and went off to work,
Probably thinking I am cowardly and a jerk
Next I sat there with my finger on top of my nose,
Find a lawyer, file papers, risk the marriage but here goes

Boundaries have been set with my hammer and chisel,
Win or lose, no one can say I didn't play til the whistle
And she may have heard me 'ere as she drove out of sight
"I got the kids and the house, piss on you both" with delight.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Nothing like "holiday cheer":lol:


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LOL. This is awesome.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Re: Twas the night before.........*



IIJokerII said:


> Twas the day before D-day and all thru the house,
> Every creature was stirring, especially my spouse.
> I looked on with wonder, why her phone earned her stare
> Quietly texting her love for the man who was not there
> ...


That is on point, brother!


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> That is on point, brother!


Thanks man!!


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Hope its ok to print and send this to a friend..priceless 

May get it made into a xmas card with a couple of name changes and send it to him so he can use it


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

G.J. said:


> Hope its ok to print and send this to a friend..priceless
> 
> May get it made into a xmas card with a couple of name changes and send it to him so he can use it


I made it up last night so no need to worry about plagiarism, so it's free to the world to see.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

That is fantastic......your missed your calling as a writer....that is so good....


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Absolutely fantastic... And so full of "Holiday Jeer!"


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

Wow, your good!


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Nice friend..


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

:iagree: That's wonderful!

And in keeping with the season! Good job! :smthumbup:

:toast::noel:


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Awesome! Best Christmas gift ever.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Thoroughly enjoyed that. 

You summed it all up with lightheated glee. That loneliness need not accompany thee. Your words like a lustre on new fallen snow, gave a smile to the BS' who look on with a warm glow.

Thank you.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)




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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Man, I didn't think it be a hit, thanks guys, it makes my day making others laugh.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Baseballmom6 said:


> Wow, your good!


If I had a Dollar for every time I heard that.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist!!!


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Brilliant!!! 

The only thing I would change is one letter in the title.........
'Twas to '[email protected]


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Nice.


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## shellgames (Sep 2, 2014)

Very nice


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

tom67 said:


> Nothing like "holiday cheer":lol:


Sugarplums and Unicorns...


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## still so sad (May 27, 2013)

This is what I love about the TAM community. Right when I am at my breaking point, someone makes me laugh and I get a dose of hope that I am gonna be Ok.

Thank you OP. I really needed this.:rofl:


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

still so sad said:


> This is what I love about the TAM community. Right when I am at my breaking point, someone makes me laugh and I get a dose of hope that I am gonna be Ok.
> 
> Thank you OP. I really needed this.:rofl:


Glad I could make someones day.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Loved it!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I'd absolutely love to give this poetry thing "a go," more especially with regard to my rich, skanky XW.

But I would then greatly fear that just the sheer length of that projected literary masterpiece would undoubtedly make the likes of "Beowulf" seem rather short by comparison!


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> I'd absolutely love to give this poetry thing "a go," more especially with regard to my rich, skanky XW.
> 
> But I would then greatly fear that just the sheer length of that projected literary masterpiece would undoubtedly make the likes of "Beowulf" seem rather short by comparison!


Amen to that brother!!!! Library of congress ain't got nothing on the peoples stories here!!!!


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Man, I am so tempted to make this into a card and mail it to the usual recipients for Christmas.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Oh my gosh, I just saw this and it is TRULY righteous!!!:rofl:

Sorry I've been in a thinking fog for sure!! Y'all bear with me.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

IIJokerII said:


> Find a lawyer, file papers, risk the marriage but here goes


Technically you're not risking the marriage, you're ending it.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

lenzi said:


> Technically you're not risking the marriage, you're ending it.


 That's not true, the filing denotes the seriousness of my resistance to her behavior. In the absence of a specific consequence no such consequence exists.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

IIJokerII said:


> That's not true, the filing denotes the seriousness of my resistance to her behavior. In the absence of a specific consequence no such consequence exists.


Oh, my apologies, I thought you were meeting with an attorney to actually divorce her, not just show her there are potential consequences if she doesn't end the affair.

I think it was this line here:



IIJokerII said:


> said to her affair and our marriage, "hi a55, meet my boot"


I didn't realize the poem was not a depiction of actual events in your life.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

lenzi said:


> Oh, my apologies, I thought you were meeting with an attorney to actually divorce her, not just show her there are potential consequences if she doesn't end the affair.
> 
> I think it was this line here:
> 
> ...


Since we are digressing, yes, the intent of the filing was to scare her out of her downward spiral which affected more than just me and her. Nut after the serving things changed and I now know it is simply time as too much damage has been done. In a sense it is in some degree a notation of my year for 2014, but it is written in a way that can resonate with others. If she were to call and talk about things and work beyond all effort to repair the damage she did then I'd may listen. But at this point, I really don't want to nor care.......

And I do have the house and the children so at last, an infidelity story with a happy ending... for now.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Joker, whilst your story is so sad - but all too common - your opening post was a fantasic bit of writing.

I take my hat off to you.

In many ways I wish I could catch my wife sexting/cheating....because then I'd know that she IS into sex etc but just not with me.

Happy Christmas!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

askari said:


> In many ways I wish I could catch my wife sexting/cheating....because then I'd know that she IS into sex etc but just not with me.


Yes, that would certainly make you feel a whole lot better.

:scratchhead:


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Re: Twas the night before.........*



lenzi said:


> Yes, that would certainly make you feel a whole lot better.
> 
> :scratchhead:


Lenzi:

When I first started trying to reform my sexless, affectionless relationship with my wife, I had had a similar attitude. At least if she was cheating, my course of action was easy; expose, file and move on. It sure had the appearance of being better than limbo.

But what I found, and the poster needs to as well, is that is victim chair mentality. The premise of the post is someone who feels sorry for himself, yet is either unwilling or unable to act.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

farsidejunky said:


> Lenzi:
> 
> When I first started trying to reform my sexless, affectionless relationship with my wife, I had had a similar attitude. At least if she was cheating, my course of action was easy; expose, file and move on. It sure had the appearance of being better than limbo.
> 
> But what I found, and the poster needs to as well, is that is victim chair mentality. The premise of the post is someone who feels sorry for himself, yet is either unwilling or unable to act.


Yeah, lack of sex sucks.....

Oh well, when in doubt, rub one out!!!!


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