# About ready to put myself out there



## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

Well... after seven months into my second separation I'm ready to put myself out there. To recap, this is my second separation from the same woman. She left both time and is now in a relationship with a woman. It explains a lot. I saw a counselor and he said I didn't need any more counseling after two sessions. I've accepted that chapter it closed. There is still some moments that (mildly) sting from time to time, but nothing bad. No kids. 

I'm feeling it's time to put myself out there. I have a profile on a dating site, but I have not listed the correct city and don't have a picture posted. I'm ready to change that. 

Not sure what will happen next. I'm happy to date, but I do not want to jump into another relationship just yet. With the summer coming, it would be nice to date, and to see what happens. Live is short, after all.

For those of you who've made this jump... any advice or experiences to share?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Take things very slow.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Make sure on your dating profile you communicate that you are looking to date and take things slowly. If a women wants to speed things up, it's fine to say you aren't ready yet and want to develop the relationship slowly. Good luck!


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Just saying...


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

Cooper said:


> The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Just saying...


Ive Heard that saying, but I'm more interested in another type of connection right now .


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

What does your profile intro read?

Believe it or not, this is important. Also, what sort of photo do you have?


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

ne9907 said:


> What does your profile intro read?
> 
> Believe it or not, this is important. Also, what sort of photo do you have?


Here it is:

Headline: Looking for a connection (generic, so suggestions welcomed)

Profile (part of it):

_I'm a professional, educated, witty, funny, intelligent, kind and more of that good stuff. I've learned a lot about myself, what I have to offer, and what I hope to find in a partner. Sound familiar?

I have a great, offbeat sense of humour. I enjoy intelligent conversations along with silly ones. I am a lover and observer of pop culture, media, politics, am great with lame puns and wordplay, have a geeky side (all good), and love tech. I have manners, am emotionally intelligent, and make a mean rice dish (no, seriously, it is delicious). I love road trips, especially those leading to lobster rolls and involve music. I love memes, Star Trek and Star Wars, Seinfeld, Game of Thrones and more.

I am hoping to find someone who might share some of these interests and passions, who has a great, smart sense of humour, and who is authentic. Not into nightclubs but enjoy pubs (especially live music). I am a morning person for the most part. I enjoy family, friends, traditions, and am looking to share and start new traditions with someone special. I'm in no rush to jump into anything, just looking forward to getting to know some people but should something click, I'm all in. I would welcome a relationship with the right person.

Not interested in smokers, thanks! _

As for a pic, it's one of my face, smiling. 

Whatcha think? I'm feeling it's time to take a step into my life, so to speak. It's time to see what and who is out there. I've healed, I feel ready (and good about it).


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

RisingSun said:


> Here it is:
> 
> Headline: Looking for a connection (generic, so suggestions welcomed)
> 
> ...


I think that sounds good. I'd go out with you . "I like memes" made me laugh .


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I think that sounds good. I'd go out with you . "I like memes" made me laugh .


Thanks... and thanks!  I do like a good meme. I like bad ones too.

If you were closer... never know


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

RisingSun said:


> Here it is:
> 
> Headline: Looking for a connection (generic, so suggestions welcomed)
> 
> ...


You lost me at "morning person" and "no smokers" so I am out 

I think it is a great intro!
I'd date you based on what you like and are looking for, but I am out...

Just do not rush into anything!


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

oh! put more photos, just one will not cut it. Don't post photos of other women (especially if they are young and good looking)

I would suggest NOT to post photos of your children, because that is a special bond and you want to wait until you find the right person to share that important aspect of your life.

hmmmm... If that was me writing Id probably start with "May the Force be with you" or something silly


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

RisingSun said:


> Well... after seven months into my second separation I'm ready to put myself out there........
> 
> For those of you who've made this jump... any advice or experiences to share?


I hope you have better luck than I had. I also remembering preparing my first profile on a dating site with a little bit of excitement and thinking about the dates I'm about to have. Then......crickets. Only the sound of crickets.  

In person, I had been more successful at meeting people and having dates, but I'll be the first to admit that my multiple experiences of trying on-line dating were complete duds.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I think that sounds good. I'd message you.


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## hopeful101 (Nov 6, 2013)

I'm hoping to start dating as well not really sure how to meet new people so am trying online dating. I've also heard numerous times the need for sex to get past my past. After being with the same man since I was 18 it's more anxiety than excitement to think of just jumping in to bed with someone new. Plus, I think for that you need Tinder instead of regular online dating sites! 

I am trying online dating and not finding it rewarding so far or successful. I am happy to find I'm not upset about feeling rejected if someone doesn't answer my message. What I'm finding is that someone will start chatting with me and it sounds promising, is exciting, then all of a sudden they drop off the planet. How do you go from when can we meet and can't wait to meet you to not even replying? That part is frustrating. 

I also have friends who tell me their friends are on these sites juggling multiple people at the same time. I am not interested in that either, but I guess maybe that's just how it is?


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

I jumped right back into dating when my marriage failed. I hadn't even yet moved out of the house, and we were only separated and very early into what would become a 3 year protracted, highly contested and expensive litigated divorce.

I average one or two dates per weekend pretty much from day 1 and my first "real" relationship was within 1 month of my first date.

It was way too soon and she was of course a rebound and I broke her heart but after that I settled down and did a lot more dating and have had several long meaningful relationships.

My advice may not be for you but it worked for me. Life is short, plenty of available women out there, just go for it. Don't go into every first date thinking you're going to meet your next relationship partner, think of it as a buffet and there will be food you like and food you hate.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

OK it all sounds pretty good but.................

in your OP you stated you were not looking for a relationship but a few lines in your profile it seems you are looking for a relationship, especially the use of the word "partner".
Maybe you could get the picture a bit clearer in your head first and compare that to the signals you are sending out in your profile.

How old are you and what age group of women are you looking to attract?


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

ne9907 said:


> oh! put more photos, just one will not cut it. Don't post photos of other women (especially if they are young and good looking)
> 
> I would suggest NOT to post photos of your children, because that is a special bond and you want to wait until you find the right person to share that important aspect of your life.
> 
> hmmmm... If that was me writing Id probably start with "May the Force be with you" or something silly


I took your Force advice, thanks! No kids, so nothing to post there. Will be posting more pics of myself soon enough.


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I think that sounds good. I'd message you.


Thanks! I would respond.


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

hopeful101 said:


> I also have friends who tell me their friends are on these sites juggling multiple people at the same time. I am not interested in that either, but I guess maybe that's just how it is?


Pretty much, I think. Some people seem to love the chase but not the commitment, and there can be a process of weeding out some winners, so to speak.


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

Holland said:


> OK it all sounds pretty good but.................
> 
> in your OP you stated you were not looking for a relationship but a few lines in your profile it seems you are looking for a relationship, especially the use of the word "partner".
> Maybe you could get the picture a bit clearer in your head first and compare that to the signals you are sending out in your profile.
> ...


Thanks, and I'll look it over again. I thought I was clear: _"I'm in no rush to jump into anything, just looking forward to getting to know some people and should something click, I'm all in. I would welcome a relationship with the right person."_

I'm 49 and listed 40-53.


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

To update... I've had the profiles up for 5 days now. I've messaged a few women and several have messaged me. As @hopeful101 mentioned, you get to chatting then the other person disappears (sometimes it was me).

While I'm glad I put up the profile I do want to take things slowly. If some women are not ok with that, that is fine with me. No rush. Amazing how many women have complained about guys just wanting to hook up, sending pics of their junk, the number who are married, etc. 

A very attractive, smart and sweet woman contacted me and we've been messaging and talked on the phone twice. She's a widow and lives 3h away. She's a sweetheart and seems to be in touch with who she is and what she wants. No red flags so far. She has hinted what she'd love for me to visit (I'd say at a friend's), and I feel interested as much as I don't feel ready. Might just be the jitters. I know I do not want to jump into anything too soon.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

RisingSun said:


> Here it is:
> 
> Headline: Looking for a connection (generic, so suggestions welcomed)
> 
> ...




I'm with STR, I'd respond to that. I like that you mentioined pop culture and specific shows (especially Seinfeld). I'm not dating but couldn't date a guy that wasn't into pop culture and didn't get a Seinfeld reference or didn't enjoy a good binge of Game Of Thrones.

Metioning live music, road trips in search of lobster rolls...That sounds like fun and down to earth. I know every good lobster roll place from Maine to Philly (my fav is in CT). When you find your girl hit me up for a recommendation!


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

kristin2349 said:


> I'm with STR, I'd respond to that. I like that you mentioined pop culture and specific shows (especially Seinfeld). I'm not dating but couldn't date a guy that wasn't into pop culture and didn't get a Seinfeld reference or didn't enjoy a good binge of Game Of Thrones.
> 
> Metioning live music, road trips in search of lobster rolls...That sounds like fun and down to earth. I know every good lobster roll place from Maine to Philly (my fav is in CT). When you find your girl hit me up for a recommendation!


Thanks! I'm with you... I would need/love to be with someone who knows about pop culture and can get my jokes and wordplay. I chatted with a woman on the phone for the past two nights. She is sweet, attractive, in touch with herself and sincere, but so far there doesn't seem to be much that is compatible in music, movies, and interests. I'll hint at some of this stuff next time we chat. 

I'm still in the process of getting to know people and I've been clear I don't want to jump into anything. If they're not ok with it, that's fine, but I know I can get attached quickly, so I'm mindful of that this time around.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

RisingSun said:


> Thanks, and I'll look it over again. I thought I was clear: _"I'm in no rush to jump into anything, just looking forward to getting to know some people and should something click, I'm all in. I would welcome a relationship with the right person."_
> 
> I'm 49 and listed 40-53.


OK I asked about the ages to in order to see if I could give some words based on my own experience. Yes similar age.

There are many women out there in this group that are not looking for a relationship but will be open to developing into that with the right man. They are post divorce, often kids and assets to protect and in no rush to settle down again. So you and this group of women are aligned.

In your OP you said you were not ready to get into a relationship so that is why I made the comment that your OP and profile are not quite in line.

Good luck with it all. I met Mr Fantastic OLD 5 years ago and I have never been happier.


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## RisingSun (Nov 1, 2015)

Holland said:


> Good luck with it all. I met Mr Fantastic OLD 5 years ago and I have never been happier.


Glad to hear it and thanks! I'm in no rush, and it feels good to be taking my time. I've noticed that I've felt more ready for this with each passing month, and I don't mind taking this slowly.

The women I've been chatting with on the phone is a sweetheart, and as you mentioned, I get the feeling that she has assets to protect (widowed). I respect that.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Hi... I'm Risingsun. I've decided to go back to my old username. I had been using the RS username after my last separation so my ex could not track me on this site. Now I don't care. Besides, a lot of people were referring to me by the canguy66 username anyway. I'm still my witty, personable, and charming self. Did I mention modest?


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