# Too confused



## bravo99 (Mar 2, 2010)

I'll apologize now for the length, I need to vent. I don't know what anyone could say to help me. I don't think there is anything.

My husband has lied to me so many times over 26 years I can't count. Of course that goes with cheating.
I used to think that I couldn't think about how much better it wouldv'e been if I'd left him when we had one child because the other 3 wouldn't be here. 
Now I know it wouldv'e been better for them to have different parents. 

I'm so depressed I sleep because of sleeping pills, I can't eat....not that that's bad as I put on weight in my denial of thinking things were good the past few years.
I don't understand why people lie and cheat. I keep a nice home. I raise our children and do most everything.
I've always fully supported him in his pursuit of education and career.

Sex has always been great, I've been open to all he wants to try and its often. ...often enough that the wives of friends would complain that there husbands would bring up...'but they're doing it this often'... I didn't realize guys talked about it.
I try to remember to let him know that I appreciate him and do little things to show him. Dinner he likes, notes etc.

When we got married all other thoughts left my mind about anything that would be detremental to us. We'd promised to be true and faithful. Why can't people keep to the promises? Why are they such scum. 

I don't understand what I've done wrong. There is no reason for us to be in this situation. He just called and said he got us an appointment with a counselor, (I requested) but I don't think it'll do any good.
I'm so stupid, I spent so much time devoted to him I have no options. I have no job skills, the job I knew is obsolete, gone to the way of modernization.
I tried to go back to school a couple of times but got no support and had to quit since he wouldn't be around for the kids.

I have no options. My kids would be better off with me dead than them having divorced parents and a mother in a shack on welfare.

My husband is succesful, he didn't finish high school but has since GED'd college and certifications. Maybe he's resentful now of my stupidness.

Should I just disappear? I know people can, it'd be just to hop a bus to nowhere and stay there.


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## Jenmssb (Mar 4, 2010)

I am so sorry you are having so many problems. I can really relate to a lot to what you said in my own situation. Sure doesn't sound like its a problem with you. He sounds very messed up. That lying thing... that has got to be very tough. I do know that you are VERY important and loved by your children. 

Great that you all have an appointment with a counselor! Take a deep breath and maybe there will be something there for you. Your counselor will probably want to meet with you individually as well which would probably be good. 

Hope to here how things are going. Take care.


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## bravo99 (Mar 2, 2010)

Thank you. I don't understand how people do it. I read what they're going through and handling it, I'm falling apart. I can't eat or sleep or think, yet my mind is racing with confusion.


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