# Wanted to bad to get married and have my happily ever after.......10 months later rea



## Joanna Pattinson (Jul 6, 2019)

Post removed


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Welcome to real life.

It's not always easy not always what we want.

However your husband's attitude to you stinks. He needs to grow up.

Anger management might help him.

By the way I am tagging @EleGirl in as she is an administrator and she can help you change your username if that's your real name. Anonymous is best, we find.


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## Joanna Pattinson (Jul 6, 2019)

Yes please how do I do that??


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Everything changed in 10 months after 10 years together? That is hard to believe. One day of playing princess isnt going to fix your relationship.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Joanna Pattinson said:


> Yes please how do I do that??


Send a personal message to @EleGirl who can arrange this for you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Why did you marry him if you were so unhappy? 
The first thing I would say is to get the child out of your bed. That's just not on. 
Secondly get some good marriage counselling.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Joanna Pattinson said:


> Need some advice and have no where to turn so gave this page a try.....
> 
> Hi everyone! So my husband and I have been married just under a year so I feel like a terrible person and embarrassed to admit I already feel this way, but then again we have been together as a couple almost 10 years.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry for your situation. Having an autistic child must add a lot of strain to the relationship for both of you. But there are some things you said about him that are warning signs of something being really off.

The fact that he acts all wonderful in front of everyone else then calls you these names is a sign of narcissism. Read up on narcissism on the internet and see if you recognize him. If he is, it's very hard to have a healthy relationship with someone like that.

The fact that you are married but the house is "his" is VERY concerning and a sign that he does NOT see you as a married couple. Did he begin the purchase before the marriage? I'd be tempted to tell him that the papers get rewritten where you're a part owner or you're not paying another penny toward the mortgage. But that can wait.

IS there any way you can both be on a day shift? WOrking different shifts is very hard on marriage, and working a night shift is very hard on a person's mental health -- really high instances of depression, health issues, even suicide, with people working night shifts because apparently the body does not restore properly if you're not sleeping at night time.

The fact that he doesn't stand up for you with his family is very concerning too.

I had a bad flashback to my wedding night to my first husband when I read about yours. It was like Jeckyl and Hyde. I'm not saying there were no red flags in the relationship in hindsight but the truth was he did not want to marry me, he felt he had to because he had custody of his 3 children and was in the military and needed to go out on deployment for months at a time. I had no idea he didn't want to get married. But it was AWFUL. I was so happy and in love and he just gave me a tiny peck for a kiss (this was not a shy man), he smeared the wedding cake on my face, then basically ignored and avoided me the rest of the evening, got raging drunk and offended most of our friends to where I was basically friendless after the wedding too because no one wanted to be around him after his horrid behavior. But enough about me. Sorry. I just wanted you to know I understand what you are saying and sympathize with you. 

SOME IDEAS - I would get and read these two books as soon as you can:
Love Busters by Willard Harley
and then
His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley.

It would be great if you can get your H to read them with you but he will probably refuse. You can still read them and learn a lot to identify things that you may be doing that add to the conflict, and maybe after you make some changes he will come around. Worst case scenario, you'll realize you're in a relationship with a person who is not going to try and doesn't care about the quality of your marriage, but you'll be able to see more clearly to realize you could much happier alone or with someone else.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

So, who's the new guy giving you positive attention?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Joanna Pattinson said:


> Post removed


 @Joanna Pattinson

I'm not sure why you deleted your post. Please reconsider. I could put your post back so that you can get more support.

Also I can change your user name. Just let me know what user name you want.


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