# Where is the love??



## chris1130 (Jul 28, 2008)

We have a 10 month old son and lately I feel like my husband and I are just two people living together raising a child. I don't feel any love towards him that I use to feel. We have both said recently that we are unhappy but it doesn't seem like either of us are willing to make changes to make the other one happy. He gets mad at me because I don't listen; I get mad at him because he never makes me feel good enough. He does a good job of taking care of our son but at the same time I don't like a lot of the things that he does when it comes to our son. If our son is constantly crying he will just pick him up and put him in his crib instead of trying to calm him down. If our son keeps getting into something after we tell him "no" he will flick him or swat him on the butt which I don't agree with at 10 months old. We argue over the dumbest things. Like yesterday for example he didn't like how I was putting away food in the pantry so he completely goes off on me and throws the food across the kitchen. Sometimes I think he just likes to pick fights with me. I just can't stand being around him anymore. I feel so calm and relaxed when it is just my son and I at the house, but as soon as he gets home I feel my insides tighten. We don't fight all the times, we just don't communicate. We have only had sex twice since our son was born and only kiss when we are coming from or going to work. We've been together for 9 years and I don't expect the flame to be burning like it was back then but I miss the days when we just couldn't get enough of each other. Now it seems like we can't wait to be apart. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on my marriage but I want the love back. If it wasn't for our baby I probably would have been out the door by now. Are we pretty much a lost cause or do you think it is possible to fall in love again? Any advice is appreciated!


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

Maybe others will have a different take on this but most of this sounds like the things frustrated people do when there is conflict. I wasn't very keen on his throwing food around the room, nor the idea that you "get mad at him because he never makes me feel good enough", but the rest of it hardly seemed like deal-breakers or anything that couldn't be overcome if you guys still had feelings for each other.

Is there something deeper going on?

If you don't like the way he cares for the baby, get up and take care of the baby yourself. If he complains about the way you store food, tell him to store the food himself in whatever way he wants. If you aren't happy, stop blaming him and find something that will make you happy, etc.

While you are doing that, can you give the baby to someone for a short time and spend some one-on-one time with you husband? You may discover things come easier that way.


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