# Asking your significant other to perform certain acts.



## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Today I asked my wife why she couldn't touch me after we have had sex. Like oral or even using her hands. She totally flipped out and said it was groce and told me today that we need counselling or you can go find a freak. Wow just for asking a question. Any thoughts anyon?. We have been battling spicing up things in the bedroom for a few years now.

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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I think your wife sounds uptight, and perhaps uncomfortable with spicing things up?

Touching before, during and after is an integral part of lovemaking, IMHO.

Maybe try to find some articles online that address this issue... she could read them and see you're not asking for anything "gross", "freak", or unusual. And couples counseling would further reinforce the notion that your suggestions are well within the realm of normal. Seeing a licensed sex therapist would be even better.


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Step One: Don't use the word "perform."


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Take her up on the counseling - maybe then she'd realize that her reaction was way over the top.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

not a very good sign. 

You do realkze there is a world of difference between a woman giving you oral ater you have been inside of her, to her just rubbing you with your hand. What exactly did you ask her to do? Will she do things before you have PIV sex?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

If she gives you a BJ, will she swallow?

Or does that "gross" her out too?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Thanks for the reply. I only used the word perform in this thread not to my wife, so nice try if you think that all men are **** heads. 

Well just got a few text from her that we are fine and everything will be all good. 

She will not research anything on sex. I've tried to have this conversation a few times, and she said she doesn't need that.

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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Juice said:


> Well just got a few text from her that we are fine and everything will be all good.


Uh, you do realize that YOU have a say as to whether things are 'all good', right??


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> You do realkze there is a world of difference between a woman giving you oral ater you have been inside of her, to her just rubbing you with your hand.


Yet it's okay for him to lick her down there? On the freak scale that's pretty close to the bottom. (pun not intended)


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

This great feedback thanks. She will give oral before and hand job. Not after PIV she doesn't like the way it feels. No swallowing going on. I asked her and she kind of ignored me. She just said "oh boy"

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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Juice said:


> She will not research anything on sex. I've tried to have this conversation a few times, and *she said she doesn't need that.*


Well, she certainly doesn't sound very cooperative or like she much gives a whit for what YOU want...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I foresee no satisfactory resolution to their incompatible preferences.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

what's wrong with a little clean up after the PIV?

Faithful wife has plenty of towel tips that she could share with you


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

I'm talking about doing either or. I prefer the woman finishing me off instead of me finishing myself off all the time.

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

FYI to everyone. I will do any she wants. I will lick any area on her body. Sick her toes. I really don't care. I like it all

I even encourage toys in the room
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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Juice said:


> This great feedback thanks. She will give oral before and hand job. Not after PIV she doesn't like the way it feels. No swallowing going on. I asked her and she kind of ignored me. She just said "oh boy"
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


100% uninhibited sex does not come naturally to everyone. After PIV is completed her inhibitions or reluctance keeps her from oral. Perhaps she just does not see it as clean anymore. Certainly it is a turn on for you. For her not so much. Learn to live with it for now. Hopefully over time she will become uninhibited to the point were everything is fair game.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Juice said:


> FYI to everyone. I will do any she wants. I will lick any area on her body. Sick her toes. I really don't care. I like it all
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I do the same for my wife. I do not expect her to reciprocate if she feel uncomfortable with it. However, she reciprocates all! :smthumbup:


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

That's great yeswecan. One day it might work. I know it's going to take time. Won't happen over night I just wanted some feedback from the ladies. Oh btw we are both in shape, attractive, and we keep it trimmed up and clean down there so. It's not all dirty and hairy below.

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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Juice said:


> That's great yeswecan. One day it might work. I know it's going to take time. Won't happen over night I just wanted some feedback from the ladies. Oh btw we are both in shape, attractive, and we keep it trimmed up and clean down there so. It's not all dirty and hairy below.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Realize this did not happen over night. We have been married 20 years. It took some time to really go at it like Banshees.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I don't understand what you mean by her finishing you off instead of doing it yourself? :scratchhead:

Why aren't you finishing during PIV? Why do you HAVE to have a blow job afterwards?

I love giving blow jobs, but it took me a while to start doing them after we had done PIV. For some reason it seemed gross for me. Which is funny because if he does oral on me, I don't mind when he kisses me afterwards. 

Pushing the issue and constantly nagging her is never going to work. My husband wants a strip tease, but he comments about it rudely and asks so often, at this point I feel like NEVER doing it. 

Don't make her resent you.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I don't understand what you mean by her finishing you off instead of doing it yourself?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us. 

This is only the 2nd time I brought up this. We have been married for 10 years and have to beautiful children. 

Sex is brought up frequently. If it wasn't I would get any

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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

Juice said:


> This great feedback thanks. She will give oral before and hand job. Not after PIV she doesn't like the way it feels. No swallowing going on. I asked her and she kind of ignored me. She just said "oh boy"
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I think you're being unreasonable.... she will give you hand job, give you BJ, you get sex... it's really fine. If you want a swallowing porn star you probably should have considered that before getting married. It's important to respect boundaries, I don't think she's at all being unreasonable by not wanting to do a BJ after you've been in her. Some people don't care, but I don't think it's so crazy for her to say no do that, same with swallowing...

What isn't reasonable is her explosive response, but it's possible that she's just fed up with the issue being brought up all the time.

I think you need to step back and reconsider your priorities.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Condoms?

Really your snipped and she still won't let you finish inside her? That's crazy.

Seriously. If I was a man, I wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't let me finish inside them.

If my husband started saying he didn't want to finish PIV because he didn't like the way it feels we would have a LOT of problems.

It sounds like you have more sexual problems that just this one, I bet there is a whole can of worms. 

Good luck! I'm sorry your wife is a selfish prude.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Juice said:


> Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V.


Whaaaaaattttttt? I think we've identified a bigger issue.


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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

Juice said:


> Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us.


That's definitely unusual, was it always like this? You have kids so obviously you were "allowed" at one point. Does she mean she doesn't like the stuff being in her and having to clean up after etc. etc. I guess it's not the greatest feeling for some but still... it's kind of how it's done lol. Perhaps this is where compromise needs to happen, either she needs to be OK with you finishing off inside, or her finishing you off outside... in my opinion anyway.



Juice said:


> This is only the 2nd time I brought up this. We have been married for 10 years and have to beautiful children.


2nd time since when?



Juice said:


> Sex is brought up frequently. If it wasn't I would get any


That's pretty typical, I wouldn't over think that.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Condoms?
> 
> Really your snipped and she still won't let you finish inside her? That's crazy.
> 
> ...


Thanks

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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Juice said:


> Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us.


To me not being able to come in my wife would be a deal-breaker. She needs to see someone about her issues. Not only is it perfectly natural, but there are all sorts of benefits to health and the marital bond. Ask her to get some help.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Wait, so she doesn't want semen in her or on her at all ever?

Well dude, there's the issue! She has a semen dislike and it has nothing to do with you, though I could certainly understand how hurtful that would be.

She needs therapy. She is cutting off the sex play right at the worst time. No wonder you're so frustrated! 

No, it's not normal. Yes, she has a problem and she's not likely to ever admit it. You two need to talk in a really honest way. She need to hear from you how hurtful it is that just when you're close to orgasming you have to pull out and finish on your own. She needs to understand it feels like a big slap in the face! She needs to know this is NOT NORMAL. She doesn't have to pretend like you're shooting vanilla bean Haagen Daz, but acting like you're shooting poisonous acid is way over the top!

Does she orgasm when you go down on her? Does she orgasm when you use your hand? If so, ask her how she'd feel if you backed away when she was close to coming because you didn't want her juices on you?

I don't understand how selfish some people can be, I really don't.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

James2020 said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us.
> ...


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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

Juice said:


> I was allowed too just when she was trying to get pregnant and maybe a drunk night. Still complaints after do it.


Ok, did you guys have sex before you got married? If yes, you are telling me it was always like this?

If the above is true, the although her not wanting it inside her etc. is unusual and so on, and she should think over that... the other thing is, if it has always been like this, you probably should have considered that then not 10 years later.

However, given that we can't time travel... do the best you can to work it out with her, but limit your expectations because this is something you had gone into knowingly.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If you can't cum inside her how did she get pregnant?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Oh, and did you make that counseling appt yet?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Juice said:


> Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us.
> 
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_



Now we are getting to the real issue here. This is odd but there must be something that has turned her off to seamen inside or otherwise. :scratchhead:


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Wait, so she doesn't want semen in her or on her at all ever?
> 
> Well dude, there's the issue! She has a semen dislike and it has nothing to do with you, though I could certainly understand how hurtful that would be.
> 
> ...


I'm allowed to bust on her front or back. Just not in her.

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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Why did you accept this to begin with?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

James2020 said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > I was allowed too just when she was trying to get pregnant and maybe a drunk night. Still complaints after do it.
> ...


Lol! This is where it gets good. We had plenty of sex before marriage. The first time we had sex involved another girl and they messed around and I hooked up with just her. So from day one I assumed that if she's doing this then she'll do anything. 10 years later still waiting for certain acts to be accomplished.

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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

Juice said:


> Lol! This is where it gets good. We had plenty of sex before marriage. The first time we had sex involved another girl and they messed around and I hooked up with just her. So from day one I assumed that if she's doing this then she'll do anything. 10 years later still waiting for certain acts to be accomplished.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Ok, but that did not really answer what I was getting at. When you were having plenty of sex when you met, before you got married, did she let you finish inside? Was she doing things back then that you are asking for now and she gets mad and refuses? Or was she never into those things from the beginning?


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I can't believe your wife doesn't let you cum inside her but your main complaint is that she won't give you blow jobs after. 

I also can't believe that you actually think she would give you blow jobs after, when she is so disgusted by your semen that she won't let you cum inside her.

:scratchhead:

I feel like your missing the big picture.

Does it not bother you to never get to fully enjoy sex the way it was intended?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> If you can't cum inside her how did she get pregnant?


Of course I was allowed for her to get pregnant and no appointment made yet

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Oh, and did you make that counseling appt yet?


No

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

James2020 said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Lol! This is where it gets good. We had plenty of sex before marriage. The first time we had sex involved another girl and they messed around and I hooked up with just her. So from day one I assumed that if she's doing this then she'll do anything. 10 years later still waiting for certain acts to be accomplished.
> ...


Tons of sex. Once in awhile bust in her. No she was afraid then. I'm just to Damn nice and assumed it would get better.

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Edit: tried getting pregnant before marriage. Long story but for her mom that past away.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I can't believe your wife doesn't let you cum inside her but your main complaint is that she won't give you blow jobs after.
> 
> I also can't believe that you actually think she would give you blow jobs after, when she is so disgusted by your semen that she won't let you cum inside her.
> 
> ...


Of course it bothers me or I wouldn't be opening up. Well I've done it in her before so now I to try something new, but I have been pulling out so much it's become quite normal for me.

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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I'd go the condom route for now, plus a therapist. You've only been married 10 years - you've got the rest of your life to go. 

Status quo isn't going to cut it for the rest of your life, so address it.


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## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

Sounds like she has a semen phobia. She is really, really squicked out by it, isn't she?

I have a deep water phobia - I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, but I also can't help it. If sex involved a lot of pool diving, my marriage would be in serious trouble. 

No, it's not exactly the same thing - a semen phobia and a deep water phobia. But I imagine it works the same - it's an involuntary response that she can't help, and putting pressure on her (or guilt) will only make it worse. 

Therapy might help, though, especially if the therapist can suggest some simple exercises to start replacing her negative semen association with some positive associations. She's unlikely to ever be a ferocious guzzler, but at this point even tolerating it would probably make you happy.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Phobia therapy usually involves high exposure to show the brain that the fear is irrational

since a bukakke party is out of the question, perhaps fill a water gun with egg whites and shoot her over and over again until her fear has subsided


(okay that was insensitive even for me, but IC should be something I'd have her do)


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

SHE suggested MC. I cannot fathom why you don't have the appt booked yet???

Seriously. What are you waiting for??


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Faeleaf said:


> Sounds like she has a semen phobia. She is really, really squicked out by it, isn't she?
> 
> I have a deep water phobia - I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, but I also can't help it. If sex involved a lot of pool diving, my marriage would be in serious trouble.
> 
> ...


Lol ! Thanks for the response. I think therapy might be the trick

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> SHE suggested MC. I cannot fathom why you don't have the appt booked yet???
> 
> Seriously. What are you waiting for??


she suggested it because she thinks I'm crazy. On top of it I've been asking for 2 years to go to a sex therapist she did not want to hear it. She said we can fix it on our own. Btw. I'm not retired and work 60+ hours a week, she is very busy as well 45+ hours a week and kids. So finding time is going to be an issue.

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> Phobia therapy usually involves high exposure to show the brain that the fear is irrational
> 
> since a bukakke party is out of the question, perhaps fill a water gun with egg whites and shoot her over and over again until her fear has subsided
> 
> ...


Lol! I'll get right on it

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

I have a question for everyone. Should I show her this thread?

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

norajane said:


> I'd go the condom route for now, plus a therapist. You've only been married 10 years - you've got the rest of your life to go.
> 
> Status quo isn't going to cut it for the rest of your life, so address it.


what's a the condom going to do? I'm snipped and I can still bust on her

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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Juice said:


> she suggested it because she thinks I'm crazy. On top of it I've been asking for 2 years to go to a sex therapist she did not want to hear it. She said we can fix it on our own. Btw. I'm not retired and work 60+ hours a week, she is very busy as well 45+ hours a week and kids. So finding time is going to be an issue.


Of course she suggested it because she thinks you're crazy. So are you? Or is she?

Find the time. I would think this would be #1 on your priority list right now. There's a huge problem here which either you're lying about or she simply isn't willing to do anything about. Start with MC and if they recommend sex therapy you should be all over it.

Honestly, DO something here. Don't just keep rolling over onto your back waiting for belly rubs that may never happen.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > she suggested it because she thinks I'm crazy. On top of it I've been asking for 2 years to go to a sex therapist she did not want to hear it. She said we can fix it on our own. Btw. I'm not retired and work 60+ hours a week, she is very busy as well 45+ hours a week and kids. So finding time is going to be an issue.
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_

Lol! Hope thanks for the replys. I don't think I'm too crazy maybe a little. All I ask for is some kinky sex. Lingerie here and there, foreplay, and after play nothing serious. If that's being crazy well i don't know what to say then. I'm not trying to rush the issue taking baby steps and I'll still being getting laid


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Juice said:


> what's a the condom going to do? I'm snipped and I can still bust on her
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


It's going to let you finish inside her without having to do it yourself, which you complained about.

If you're fine with withdrawal, have at it.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

norajane said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > what's a the condom going to do? I'm snipped and I can still bust on her
> ...


I don't know if you read the thread. I'm want my wife to finish me orally or by hand after PIV. I refuse to wear a condom with my wife

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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Juice said:


> I don't know if you read the thread. I'm want my wife to finish me orally or by hand after PIV. I refuse to wear a condom with my wife
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Personally, I think you're being unreasonable on this. Not every woman wants to taste herself. Not every guy wants to go down on his partner after he's done either. To me, those boundaries are ok, even if they're not ideal. 

Not letting you ejaculate inside her after you had a vasectomy... That's unreasonable. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Juice said:


> I have a question for everyone. Should I show her this thread?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


not just no Heck no!


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > I have a question for everyone. Should I show her this thread?
> ...


lmao! Alright 1 for no

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > I don't know if you read the thread. I'm want my wife to finish me orally or by hand after PIV. I refuse to wear a condom with my wife
> ...


Ok. So if she don't go down. Then a hand job is unreasonable?

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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Maybe a quick cleanup with a towel or wet-wipes, followed by a handjob with lube? Could that work for you both?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Juice said:


> Ok. So if she don't go down. Then a hand job is unreasonable?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


No, a handjob doesn't seem unreasonable to me. But it does to her. She's got some kind of aversion to sex fluids. So schedule the counseling already. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Maybe a quick cleanup with a towel or wet-wipes, followed by a handjob with lube? Could that work for you both?


unfortunately no won't work for me. When I'm pulling I'm finishing

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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

wait... so what are her reasons for not letting you cum inside her? Obviously it can't be the gross/phobia factor, because she lets you cum ON her. You have a vasectomy so pregnancy is out the window. What is it that I'm missing here?? What is her hangup?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Adeline said:


> wait... so what are her reasons for not letting you cum inside her? Obviously it can't be the gross/phobia factor, because she lets you cum ON her. You have a vasectomy so pregnancy is out the window. What is it that I'm missing here?? What is her hangup?


For some reason she doesn't like it coming out of her IDK. That's the answer I got. I don't have a V so wouldn't know the after effects.

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Ok. So if she don't go down. Then a hand job is unreasonable?
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

What compromise are you OK with OP?

I mean, she can't just suddenly be OK with giving you a BJ/HJ to finish you off if that's not something she has ever done for you and you were OK with it back then but are not OK with it now.

So, is there a compromise that would work for you? You say no to condoms, and you say no to doing a quick clean before... so what would be acceptable?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

James2020 said:


> What compromise are you OK with OP?
> 
> I mean, she can't just suddenly be OK with giving you a BJ/HJ to finish you off if that's not something she has ever done for you and you were OK with it back then but are not OK with it now.
> 
> So, is there a compromise that would work for you? You say no to condoms, and you say no to doing a quick clean before... so what would be acceptable?


I guess do it in the shower every time. Until we work out this fear. 

Now that I remember one time in the shower she had no problem grabbing a hold of me. Pretty lame gotta take a shower to get the sex you want though. Plus with kids around. J/C pain in the ass. .. lol

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## James2020 (Jun 4, 2014)

Juice said:


> I guess do it in the shower every time. Until we work out this fear.
> 
> Now that I remember one time in the shower she had no problem grabbing a hold of me. Pretty lame gotta take a shower to get the sex you want though. Plus with kids around. J/C pain in the ass. .. lol
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I would think that's an OK start though. The biggest thing about this will be communication, and for her not to get upset when you guys discuss it. You will have to discuss it in a non-aggressive, non-blaming way... have an understanding that BOTH of you need to work on it. She needs to be less freaked out with the fluids, and you need to lower your expectations since this is something she has never liked. 

I would still highly consider doing the quick clean, I know it could be a mood killer but honestly if you are about to go and then you do a clean so it sets you back a bit, but I'm sure she could get you right back in the zone in no time.... again this is a temporary step, and maybe as time goes she will slowly just be more comfortable with it all. Between that and the shower, you're already making progress... so think about it.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Just got thinking. She might have a fluid phobia. It took me almost 2-3 years to get some a
astroglide. I remember her thinking she might get a yeast infection or something

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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

You do not want to ejaculate inside her? 

I get that she doesn't like that. But a condom would allow you to get off inside her without her feeling icky, and without you needing a hand job to finish. Hand jobs should be extra....not the main event.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

SunnyT said:


> You do not want to ejaculate inside her?
> 
> I get that she doesn't like that. But a condom would allow you to get off inside her without her feeling icky, and without you needing a hand job to finish. Hand jobs should be extra....not the main event.


I mean that would be great, but the whole condom thing is crazy to me. 10 yrs married and back to rubbers no thanks! The only benefit I see using condoms I will be able to perform longer besides that for me any it takes the fun out of sex.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Juice said:


> Btw. I'm not retired and work 60+ hours a week, she is very busy as well 45+ hours a week and kids. So finding time is going to be an issue.


LAME excuse, OP... THAT'S why therapists take EVENING appointments...

If you want to solve this, you CAN. If you want to keep making lame excuses about semen-phobia, germ-o-phobia, etc. then you will remain BJ-less and no bodily fluids exchange.

OP, be an ALPHA. Plant your SEED (even though you've had a vasectomy) IN THIS WOMAN.

If she won't accept it, there are PLENTY of women who will love you the RIGHT way and be happy to accept your fill. To be quite frank, she is not right in the head. You are her HUSBAND.

She needs MAJOR counseling. She is not treating you right.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

James2020 said:


> I would think that's an OK start though. The biggest thing about this will be communication, and for her not to get upset when you guys discuss it. You will have to discuss it in a non-aggressive, non-blaming way... have an understanding that BOTH of you need to work on it. She needs to be less freaked out with the fluids, and you need to lower your expectations since this is something she has never liked.
> 
> I would still highly consider doing the quick clean, I know it could be a mood killer but honestly if you are about to go and then you do a clean so it sets you back a bit, but I'm sure she could get you right back in the zone in no time.... again this is a temporary step, and maybe as time goes she will slowly just be more comfortable with it all. Between that and the shower, you're already making progress... so think about it.


I guess that would be a good start. No aggression I actually get 
embarrassed when I begin to talk about it with her.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> LAME excuse, OP... THAT'S why therapists take EVENING appointments...
> 
> If you want to solve this, you CAN. If you want to keep making lame excuses about semen-phobia, germ-o-phobia, etc. then you will remain BJ-less and no bodily fluids exchange.
> 
> ...


Not making excuses. I/We will schedule and I'll let you know when its done. Oh man last thing I want to hear is talking about other women, that's the easy way out.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

If it were me, I would simply say, "Woman, I AM going to plant this load in you. Like it, or lump it."

End. Period. End.

She is a sexual withholder and manipulator. Get her hither to a sex counselor. Pronto.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Juice said:


> I mean that would be great, but the whole condom thing is crazy to me. 10 yrs married and back to rubbers no thanks! The only benefit I see using condoms I will be able to perform longer besides that for me any it takes the fun out of sex.


Reread what you wrote... Using condoms while married sounds ridiculous to you, but not being allowed to finish inside your wife is OK provided she gives you a HJ or BJ? Your wife needs therapy, or she is NOT attracted to you.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Reread what you wrote... Using condoms while married sounds ridiculous to you, but not being allowed to finish inside your wife is OK provided she gives you a HJ or BJ? Your wife needs therapy, or she is NOT attracted to you.


You know whats messed up. I really don't mind not busting inside her. I want to venture to the other things then deal with doing it with PIV later. I've already had that since we have kids. BTW I'm sure my wife is attracted to me I'm not ugly (not trying to be ****y or ignorant) she/we need the therapy. 

Which we started looking for one tonight but that didn't last long and she changed the subject.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Juice said:


> BTW I'm sure my wife is attracted to me I'm not ugly (not trying to be ****y or ignorant) she/we need the therapy.
> 
> Which we started looking for one tonight but that didn't last long and she changed the subject.


Then you look for a marriage counselor and you start going by yourself. She'll have to address that when you start going without her.

Also, attraction is not just about looks. There are so many other factors in what attracts women to men.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

norajane said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > BTW I'm sure my wife is attracted to me I'm not ugly (not trying to be ****y or ignorant) she/we need the therapy.
> ...


So if I have a woman telling me your so hot and that she loves me everyday there's no attraction?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Juice said:


> So if I have a woman telling me your so hot and that she loves me everyday there's no attraction?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


No reason to get snarky. People are trying to help and throw out suggestions. And to the point made earlier, attraction to a mate is more about just looks, but if your wife is telling you that you're hot and that she's in love with you then maybe it's not an attraction issue. Of course, she could be lying to you about being attracted to you too. You can't discount that. The words need to match up with her actions. The actions tell the truth.

Earlier you lay out the case that she may have an aversion to body fluids and then later tell us that you ejaculate on her skin regularly. What was thought to be a phobia is most likely not an issue after all. 

Looks like I have nothing more to offer here aside from stating that you should start finishing inside your wife and that she should wear a pad for the couple of hours or so where the semen will be dribbling out. Maybe this is nothing more than her not liking the feeling of it puddling in her panties and/or running down her leg. A pad solves that issue, and I'm guessing she wouldn't have to wear one that long afterwards.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > So if I have a woman telling me your so hot and that she loves me everyday there's no attraction?
> ...


Lol. You sound like my mom. Every time respond to my mom when I disagree she says I'm snarky. Lol. Anyways I could bring that up to her. This morning I sent an email in to schedule our MC counselling. Thanks for the advice.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

FYI, "snarky" is about your tone, rather than about whether you're wrong or right. It's possible to disagree with someone without being snarky.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Juice said:


> I want my wife to finish me orally or by hand after PIV. I refuse to wear a condom with my wife


So your not okay to wear a condom, but your okay with never getting to finish inside her? :scratchhead:


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > So if I have a woman telling me your so hot and that she loves me everyday there's no attraction?
> ...


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > I want my wife to finish me orally or by hand after PIV. I refuse to wear a condom with my wife
> ...


No I'm not okay with any of it, but using a condom after 12 years together I think is not normal. I would rather pull out and do it on her, or me depending on position. 

This is not the only rule in my bedroom with her. This is just one of them. Lol

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

The bottom line is your wife won't let you come inside her, and most people are saying that should not be tolerated in marriage.
I agree.

You/wife need to work that out. Try to distill the answers to that in this thread and then pick your best way of addressing it.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Juice said:


> No I'm not okay with any of it, but using a condom after 12 years together I think is not normal. I would rather pull out and do it on her, or me depending on position.
> 
> This is not the only rule in my bedroom with her. This is just one of them. Lol
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


After 12 years PULLING OUT of your wife, even after your snipped is NOT NORMAL. I think you are missing the point.

You both need some counseling for this.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Juice, I see no difference between a guy not wearing a condom but pulling out prior to ejaculation and a guy wearing a condom but remain inside his partner while he ejaculates. Neither option would be an acceptable practice to me in my marriage. I can't recall the last time my semen was deposited outside of my wife when having sex. It's always going one of my wife's orifices. Sorry if this is graphic, but that's how my wife and I do things.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I can't recall the last time my semen was deposited outside of my wife when having sex. *It's always going one of my wife's orifices.* Sorry if this is graphic, but that's how my wife and I do things.


Ok, this is also going to be kind of graphic. At age 49, I am unable to go on the pill for medical reasons; I am also "no where near close to menopause" according to my doctor. So I could get pregnant pretty easily. And I did get pregnant easily in the past. My SO seems to have gotten his former wife pregnant just by looking at her  so I'm guessing he is pretty virile as far as baby-making goes.

We have to be very careful about "finishing" inside. Like Plan 9, if it's gonna be one of those "pull out" performances, it's usually going right up to my mouth at the end. Gross? I don't think so at all. I think it's a beautiful thing.

You don't even have to worry about pregnancy since you've apparently been snipped. Your wife has some serious sexual hangups. She needs to be evaluated by a licensed sex therapist.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
If a couple is happy with their sexual activities (or lack of same) then that is fine - what other people think is "normal" doesn't matter.

If one of them is unhappy (as is the case here), that needs discussion or counseling. It doesn't matter how common that particular activity is in the general public.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon all
> If a couple is happy with their sexual activities (or lack of same) then that is fine - what other people think is "normal" doesn't matter.
> 
> If one of them is unhappy (as is the case here), that needs discussion or counseling. It doesn't matter how common that particular activity is in the general public.


I totally agree. However it does make him unhappy, so they need to work on the problem. 

It just baffles me that he thinks it's normal to pull out, but yet does not think it's normal for her not to give him a blow job afterwards. :scratchhead:

That is all I'm trying to say. There are more issues than the one he brought up. It's like trying to pull out a splinter when there is a plank in your eye.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Thanks for all the comments. For you ladies taking it all I applaud you! What a beautiful thing that is. I have no problem depositing my semen in her. It's the complaining while I'm dumping inside her that I can't take. I get turned off by the slightest sense of discomfort from a female that sighs during sex. So I'm better off pulling out. That's why I don't do it. Plus maybe a bad habit on my end. With the multiple partners I have had I always pulled out. That's when I was fertile though.

edit* a couple weeks ago we were drunk I let it go and she complained the second I told her I was done.

edit** i also have never had a woman finish me off by a BJ so it's like a fantasy at this point

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Juice said:


> edit* a couple weeks ago we were drunk I let it go and she complained the second I told her I was done.
> 
> edit** i also have never had a woman finish me off by a BJ so it's like a fantasy at this point



  Ouch, I'm sorry.

PS: If it makes you feel better, I've never been finished with oral either. 

I understand that fantasy.


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon all
> If a couple is happy with their sexual activities (or lack of same) then that is fine - what other people think is "normal" doesn't matter.
> 
> If one of them is unhappy (as is the case here), that needs discussion or counseling. It doesn't matter how common that particular activity is in the general public.


I really really don't want kids, with my ex I'd always pull out until she went into the birth control implant. Not pulling out felt weird and scary, and I didn't enjoy it very much. I think it's a psychological barrier (for me at least), because I wouldn't want to pull out from oral or anal.

If she thinks it feels gross inside, I can relate to that too. I didn't like the feeling once I'd finished and wanted out, if you know what I mean.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Ouch, I'm sorry.
> 
> PS: If it makes you feel better, I've never been finished with oral either.
> 
> I understand that fantasy.


It probably makes a difference to a number of people on whether PIV occurred prior to getting oral - especially if fluids were exchanged during PIV sex. 

If both of you are referring to never received orgasms thru oral ever, then that makes me feel bad for the both of you.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > edit* a couple weeks ago we were drunk I let it go and she complained the second I told her I was done.
> ...


Really wow!* That actually makes me feel better  lol.. just kidding. .. if you don't mind me asking why hasn't it been done yet?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon all
> If a couple is happy with their sexual activities (or lack of same) then that is fine - what other people think is "normal" doesn't matter.
> 
> If one of them is unhappy (as is the case here), that needs discussion or counseling. It doesn't matter how common that particular activity is in the general public.


Good point thanks

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> It probably makes a difference to a number of people on whether PIV occurred prior to getting oral - especially if fluids were exchanged during PIV sex.
> 
> If both of you are referring to never received orgasms thru oral ever, then that makes me feel bad for the both of you.


Never EVER.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Juice said:


> Really wow!* That actually makes me feel better  lol.. just kidding. .. if you don't mind me asking why hasn't it been done yet?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


I don't know. You'd have to ask my husband... 

He says his mouth gets tired after a few minutes.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Lila said:


> You're not alone Jetranger. I'm not on any birth control and with the exception of a few days a month, my husband pulls out and delivers his "special sauce" on my front or back. He too says it feels weird NOT pulling out now that we've been doing for so long
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's how it is for me now but I'm snipped so there's no point to pull

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Really wow!* That actually makes me feel better
> ...


Lol. Well that sucks. Tell him to do some jaw exercises. 


In my situation that is the only way I can get my wife off is either orally or by me using my hand. 

She told me she is unable to orgasm through PIV. 

Yet another dilemma in my sex life.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Juice said:


> Lol. Well that sucks. Tell him to do some jaw exercises.
> 
> 
> In my situation that is the only way I can get my wife off is either orally or by me using my hand.
> ...


A small bullet style vibrator, while performing PIV, can be a wonderful thing! My SO doesn't orgasm by PIV. But with the toy... Look out! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Juice said:


> Lol. Well that sucks. Tell him to do some jaw exercises.
> 
> 
> In my situation that is the only way I can get my wife off is either orally or by me using my hand.
> ...


Great thing is your wife is not alone, many women are unable to orgasm through PIV. They may get good or great feelings out of it, but orgasm is through oral or manual stimulation.


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Early on in our marriage, my wife and myself were not at all experienced but anything but PIV was out of the question with her. Over the years, while I have been the aggressive one but she has s-l-o-w-l-y come out of her shell.

Today she will perform oral on me and let me cum in her mouth and will finish me orally after I have been in her vagina.:smthumbup: It has been a long trek but I am so proud of her for going beyond her original very conservative feelings about sex.

So Juice, there is hope for your situation but as others have said it may require the help of the right sex therapist.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Lol. Well that sucks. Tell him to do some jaw exercises.
> ...


Hey P! Thanks for the advice, but I went down this road already with her. I bought a vibrating C-Ring, g shot vibrator and she showed little interest. She did say it felt good but she just wants me to hit it and go to bed.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## bestwife (May 10, 2014)

ifweonly: How did you change her mind about sex? Its look like a years of training


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

bestwife said:


> ifweonly: How did you change her mind about sex? Its look like a years of training


Lmao! She's had more partners than me. Not that matters, but I thought she would have been more sexual experienced. She actually would be tons of fun in the bedroom if she could relax and enjoy herself. She also said that she is a mom now and getting older, so she can't get all freaky anymore. We are both 34 so we are still young.
_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Edit***sorry thought you were talking to me


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

ifweonly said:


> Early on in our marriage, my wife and myself were not at all experienced but anything but PIV was out of the question with her. Over the years, while I have been the aggressive one but she has s-l-o-w-l-y come out of her shell.
> 
> Today she will perform oral on me and let me cum in her mouth and will finish me orally after I have been in her vagina.:smthumbup: It has been a long trek but I am so proud of her for going beyond her original very conservative feelings about sex.
> 
> So Juice, there is hope for your situation but as others have said it may require the help of the right sex therapist.


Good story! Well time will tell and this is no quick fix.


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

bestwife-I was very gentle as early on when I suggested things, she would not consider doing that "kind of stuff". But talking about the need to keep our marriage alive and the fact that I was very willing to go down on her I believe helped her to feel more comfortable with performing oral on me. Eventually, I coached her on tasting my ejaculate and then she had no problem with my cum in her mouth and she swallowed! 

We also have sex in different positions that our mature bodies will permit and the journey to that point was much the same as the one for oral. Another thing that helped was learning about various sexual adventures was reading about them from others. Mind you, early on she would not consider looking at videos and such but eventually did read articles on sites such as WebMD, etc.

One last thing is she finely commenced taking a very low dose hormone cream after suffering for nine years with nothing to help her after uterine cancer surgery. It helped give her much needed relief after the surgery destroyed her libido completely. I am so proud of her!!!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Juice,

What are some of the other rules in the bedroom? As strange as your wife's semen issue is....there are others here whose women have rigid and/or bizarre sex rules. Some as simple as lights off and missionary only (and hurry up!), and some a bit more far fetched.

So what are the rules at your house?


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

SunnyT said:


> Juice,
> 
> What are some of the other rules in the bedroom? As strange as your wife's semen issue is....there are others here whose women have rigid and/or bizarre sex rules. Some as simple as lights off and missionary only (and hurry up!), and some a bit more far fetched.
> 
> So what are the rules at your house?


Well its not like she has a book writing this stuff down but these arethe things I have noticed throughout the years. 

No talking (normal and definitely no dirty talk)

No music

Fast and hard only (hurry up!)

Once I'm done she's done (I can go again as soon as I'm done. She refuses to go again. Btw sometimes I don't last the longest)

3 positions pretty much 80% missionary 15% her on top. 5% doggy (doggy no hands can be used on her while doing it)



No lingerie

if I remember anymore I'll post.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I don't know. You'd have to ask my husband...
> 
> He says his mouth gets tired after a few minutes.


I'm so sorry this happens to you.

That said, and I hope this doesn't upset you. What on earth is he doing, that his mouth gets tired from it?

I can understand someone getting a sore jaw after a period of time, when taking the male appendage orally.

On the other hand, as someone who has brought women to orgasm orally for over 25 years. I honestly don't see how your husband can get a sore mouth from loving your vulva orally. The activity really isn't particularly taxing on the mouth, in fact kissing is most often a more intensive activity.

I can't help thinking your husband is not being honest with you when he say's he gets a sore mouth. Am I right to presume you are not convinced by his explanation either?


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## wopalx (May 26, 2014)

OP my wife did mention that it was a bit more messy for her afterwards after I had the snip and stopped wearing raincoats.

So rather than complain I simply made sure she got a full load in her hair the next time I pulled out ..... seams the mess in the hair was worse than the mess in the Vag and I've not heard a complaint since :smthumbup:


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Personal said:


> Although I don't think lingerie is an issue, the aversion to your ejaculate, touch, talking and a desire for you to hurry up and get off is!
> 
> Reading your other posts on this including the one I have quoted above. I can't help but think your wife is not enjoying sex with you, and only has sex with you rather reluctantly in order to get you off her back both figuratively and literally.


Your absolutely right. The lingerie thing is my own selfish sex desires. If she doesn't feel comfortable I need to respect that and hopefully someday it will happen. 

Lol. Idk your saying like duty sex. See that's the thing all this stuff I'm writing on here we have had conversations about, so I'm not hiding anything. During these conversations she thought our sex life was good and that she was satisfied and happy. It hurt her feelings when I told her was unhappy. I'm obviously not her first guy, and I don't think anyone has confronted her about sex, and what people like and don't like about it. She said she thought you just have sex and go on your way.

I had to explain that the little amount of time we have sex that I'm not getting complete enjoyment. I consider myself suffering from a minor case of PE at times. Which having someone rush you during sex doesn't help at all. 

She said that's the only way it feels good is really fast so idk. I guess I need to step my game up as well and try and last longer. 

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

wopalx said:


> OP my wife did mention that it was a bit more messy for her afterwards after I had the snip and stopped wearing raincoats.
> 
> So rather than complain I simply made sure she got a full load in her hair the next time I pulled out ..... seams the mess in the hair was worse than the mess in the Vag and I've not heard a complaint since


Lol. Well you sure fix that problem. Add weird as it sounds I've been pulling out since I started having sex so now is almost a normal habit to me. 

My complaint is I would like a HJ/If I'm lucky a BJ when I pull out. When she does try and give me a HJ she takes get thumb and index finger to complete me and considers that good enough. I just laugh and say that really doesn't feel good. For some reason she is afraid of the sex fluids hers and mine

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Juice said:


> For some reason she is afraid of the sex fluids hers and mine


Thursday: "Oops, I'm sorry I just came inside!" 

Friday: "Oh no! I did it again."


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Personal said:


> Hi Juice,
> I don't think having an interest or otherwise in lingerie is selfish, it can't hurt to move out of one's comfort zone either. That said, I would worry about lingerie a bit later.
> 
> At the very least, the fact you are both having conversations about this is encouraging. The fact that you can both communicate is so important. It really shouldn't matter between you both, whether you are her first second or 99th guy. What matters is how you both love together now and will or won't into the future.
> ...


Thanks Personal! Yup I believe communication is huge and I make sure to express myself. She blames this on her and I don't want her to feel this way. She agreed to work on our sex life. I scheduled a MC appointment for us. The other day she agreed to actually take time to research by reading books which for the last two years she strictly told me she is not researching anything. 

I would like to add that we both live busy lives and by the time she comes to bed she is completely whipped. Just like last night she came up to me started rubbing me on my junk and ass and says "you wanna do it tonight" I said sure but I headed for bed way before her because I work at 4am. So by the time she gets to bed she's exhausted and doesn't really want to wake me up.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

A loving wife should be insulted at the idea of her husband having a desire that she can't fulfill. Even if it's just once.

If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. No arguing, reason, or logic can be used to convince me that a woman should do whatever a man asks or has a desire to do. That has nothing to do with intimacy or your connection in my opinion. Also, doing it once is also debatable. It would be nice for a woman to try things with you, but again, this isn't something you could ever win an argument about. You'd look foolish in front of a counselor saying, "Well, yes we have sex but she refuses to give me oral after my penis has been inside her (add your other kinks here too)."

Not letting you cum inside her is prude and in my opinion a violation of marriage. Not that you own her, but for her to be grossed out by your semen is a problem in my eyes. This is the most basic fundamental act of sex, and she is denying you.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Coldie said:


> A loving wife should be insulted at the idea of her husband having a desire that she can't fulfill. Even if it's just once.
> 
> If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. No arguing, reason, or logic can be used to convince me that a woman should do whatever a man asks or has a desire to do. That has nothing to do with intimacy or your connection in my opinion. Also, doing it once is also debatable. It would be nice for a woman to try things with you, but again, this isn't something you could ever win an argument about. You'd look foolish in front of a counselor saying, "Well, yes we have sex but she refuses to give me oral after my penis has been inside her (add your other kinks here too)."
> 
> Not letting you cum inside her is prude and in my opinion a violation of marriage. Not that you own her, but for her to be grossed out by your semen is a problem in my eyes. This is the most basic fundamental act of sex, and she is denying you.


Thanks for the reply. If she tries it and hates it. Great at least you tried, but I don't see why a HJ on completion should be a problem if you don't want it in you.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## jasmine9 (Jul 18, 2014)

I've had this issue for months. Sometimes you would think I am asking him if I can pull all his teeth out! It is very frustrating.


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## pirate (Aug 5, 2014)

Juice said:


> Today I asked my wife why she couldn't touch me after we have had sex. Like oral or even using her hands. She totally flipped out and said it was groce and told me today that we need counselling or you can go find a freak. Wow just for asking a question. Any thoughts anyon?. We have been battling spicing up things in the bedroom for a few years now.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


there is a limit to every couple hen it comes to spicing things up.
were you happy with your sex life with her just before/after the wedding night?
not saying you can't expect to build on that with more spice, but she might have a limit.
my wife refuses to swallow, because she choked on it once, so now she will only swallow the 2nd batch (its more like liquid, easier).


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I guess making her squirt is out of the question too. 

Man, I'm sorry you're here. So far the things you're asking of her seem very vanilla to me. I'm still on the fence about having more kids but part of me wants him to get a vasectomy because I look forward to him being able to finish inside of me. Yes, it's messy but it is easy to clean up in the bathroom afterwards. Whether you wore a condom or not, ejaculate inside her or not, women are supposed to go pee after sex to help prevent UTI's anyways so I don't understand her issue.

As for the PE issues, her restrictions on which positions you can do are not going to help either. Being able to switch positions, do some fondling or oral or manual stimulation and switch things up helps many guys both with PE and without last longer. Of course you're not going to last long going hard and fast in the same position!

I don't think what you're asking her to do is too much. I just don't get it. It sounds like your wife is not all that into sex and just does it out of her duty. I do think she can be attracted to you but is just not a sexual person and seems to have a lot of hang ups.

It seems some women forget that they can also be vixens and that it's totally okay even after becoming mothers.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

pirate said:


> there is a limit to every couple hen it comes to spicing things up.
> were you happy with your sex life with her just before/after the wedding night?
> not saying you can't expect to build on that with more spice, but she might have a limit.
> my wife refuses to swallow, because she choked on it once, so now she will only swallow the 2nd batch (its more like liquid, easier).


Well not really fun on the wedding night we were both completely wasted. Lol. I can't even explain to try the second batch because she won't take the first one. Mind you we can only do it one time. Once i'm done is a wrap for the night. Thanks for the reply

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Miss Taken said:


> I guess making her squirt is out of the question too.
> 
> Man, I'm sorry you're here. So far the things you're asking of her seem very vanilla to me. I'm still on the fence about having more kids but part of me wants him to get a vasectomy because I look forward to him being able to finish inside of me. Yes, it's messy but it is easy to clean up in the bathroom afterwards. Whether you wore a condom or not, ejaculate inside her or not, women are supposed to go pee after sex to help prevent UTI's anyways so I don't understand her issue.
> 
> ...


Well woke up today and we had sex. Right when was about to finish I told her I was going to do it in her and she said please don't. I asked why and she said she doesn't want it dripping out for a couple days. Lol wtf. Nice conversation right when I'm about to ejaculate.

I'm glad you think it's vanilla, I wish you could tell her that. I feel bad about this and it ruins my day. 

Btw. I was on top and was in a hurry so I was done in about 2-3 min. That's seems to be my life story. I should nickname myself Mr. Quickie cause that what we do. 

I'm so tempted to show her this thread

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## calamityjim (Jul 18, 2014)

Juice said:


> Well woke up today and we had sex. Right when was about to finish I told her I was going to do it in her and she said please don't. I asked why and she said she doesn't want it dripping out for a couple days. Lol wtf. Nice conversation right when I'm about to ejaculate.
> 
> I'm glad you think it's vanilla, I wish you could tell her that. I feel bad about this and it ruins my day.
> 
> ...


How can she not understand that a man ejaculating inside a woman's vagina is "vanilla"? Where does she think babies come from? Suck it up into a turkey baster from a tube sock? *sigh*

Also, dripping out for a couple days? Wow, either she's lying, you're blowing elephant loads, or she's got some crazy crook in her vagina that's holding semen hostage. I can think of maybe once or twice that my wife reported post-coital seepage. Could you maybe pull _back_ rather than _out_ and do it kinda shallow?

You're right, on the cusp is not the time to be discussing where to do it. There was a time in my marriage where I was not "allowed" creampies (can I say that here?) and the couple times where I "oopsed," she got incredibly pissed.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Juice said:


> Miss Taken said:
> 
> 
> > I guess making her squirt is out of the question too.
> ...


Not for nothing but feeling a guy explode deep inside me has always been one of the biggest turnons ummmm for me anyways !?!? Not sure if there'd be dripping the next day or so but it'd happen at times for the next hour or so but that was never a problem for me !?!?

I remember rushing off to a wedding after a quickie one tume and ummmm being in church with " leakage " which was quite embarressing though no one knew ...... I think ?!!?

Oh 2 to 3 minutes ???? That sir you need to work on !!! Think about math , bills .... world issues anything but please you gotta give her more loving than 3 minutes !?!?!?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I can understand her not really wanting that first thing in the morning... My SO has commented on some " after effects" with some of her pants. Black, not so bad. Khaki's and going shopping with mom, not so good. 

One of our solutions is that I'll release a couple of times on her (which often sets off another squirting orgasm), then I can finish the rest inside her. Win-win! 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

omgitselaine said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > Not for nothing but feeling a guy explode deep inside me has always been one of the biggest turnons ummmm for me anyways !?!? Not sure if there'd be dripping the next day or so but it'd happen at times for the next hour or so but that was never a problem for me !?!?
> ...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dude... If you're only lasting 2 or 3 minutes, there's not enough time for her to orgasm through PIV...

C


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Dude... If you're only lasting 2 or 3 minutes, there's not enough time for her to orgasm through PIV...
> 
> C


I know! I've tried to explain this to her. She says it's all good. That is why I've sent numerous links on the topic. 
I let her know today that I was a little depressed about all this. As far as me scheduling the marriage counseling. And she said it's not her with the problem it's me. Basically she said we don't need to go

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Juice said:


> I know! I've tried to explain this to her. She says it's all good. That is why I've sent numerous links on the topic.
> I let her know today that I was a little depressed about all this. As far as me scheduling the marriage counseling. And she said it's not her with the problem it's me. Basically she said we don't need to go
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


She says that because her needs are all being met, and she doesn't plan on changing. So if you want to change the dynamic, it's on you. 

C


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## prospect (Feb 26, 2012)

As far as the drippage goes, my wife just uses a panty liner for a couple hours. Works good for us.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> Juice said:
> 
> 
> > I know! I've tried to explain this to her. She says it's all good. That is why I've sent numerous links on the topic.
> ...


Lol! What do you think I'm trying do? Numerous times I've tried to explain myself to her about hire to correct the problem, but still in the sane boatln

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

prospect said:


> As far as the drippage goes, my wife just uses a panty liner for a couple hours. Works good for us.




Problem is she wants no ejac in her

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## prospect (Feb 26, 2012)

Yeah that would suck. Not sure I could pull out every time. Maybe once in a while but not every time.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Without being too graphic but outside of my own orgasms, the last few minutes of sex when he's getting close to orgasm are the best IMO. Right before he goes and he pounds me hard... that just can't be duplicated with having him pull out. 

I think your wife is being unreasonable about the semen. It is really not that big of a deal. Again, not trying to be graphic but when she goes pee afterwards, she can wipe it out and it's gone. She's wiping down there anyway (I hope) when she goes pee, so it's not an extra chore or anything lol. If she's really bothered by it, there's always the showerhead in the bathroom. It takes two seconds. 

Honestly, it sounds like your wife has a lot of hang ups about sex in general though. I would continue to push counseling. She may not see it as an issue or maybe she even realizes it is but doesn't care to change because that takes work on her end. Either way, I don't think you should have to live like this if it makes you unhappy. You're asking her for the basics here. 

Like I said earlier, given that she was more adventurous (I mean really, a WWM threesome?! I would never!) when you met, it might be after having kids, she thinks that "good moms don't". I think a lot of moms turn into "Madonnas" (not the pop artist) after having kids. It's a mistake IMO.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

prospect said:


> As far as the drippage goes, my wife just uses a panty liner for a couple hours. Works good for us.


Yes of course .......... the ole " panty liner " trick does work and has been used but what if you're ummmm not wearing panties 

Never mind  !!


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## prospect (Feb 26, 2012)

*Re: Re: Asking your significant other to perform certain acts.*



omgitselaine said:


> Yes of course .......... the ole " panty liner " trick does work and has been used but what if you're ummmm not wearing panties
> 
> Never mind  !!


Then you're awesome


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Miss Taken said:


> Without being too graphic but outside of my own orgasms, the last few minutes of sex when he's getting close to orgasm are the best IMO. Right before he goes and he pounds me hard... that just can't be duplicated with having him pull out.
> 
> I think your wife is being unreasonable about the semen. It is really not that big of a deal. Again, not trying to be graphic but when she goes pee afterwards, she can wipe it out and it's gone. She's wiping down there anyway (I hope) when she goes pee, so it's not an extra chore or anything lol. If she's really bothered by it, there's always the showerhead in the bathroom. It takes two seconds.
> 
> ...


I completely agree with everything you said. We are going to counseling and are going to see if it helps. Next Thursday might be our first session.

also don't worry about being graphic. It's hard to explain this stuff without being graphic.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

prospect said:


> omgitselaine said:
> 
> 
> > Yes of course .......... the ole " panty liner " trick does work and has been used but what if you're ummmm not wearing panties
> ...


No panties! Sweet! Awesome x 10

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

PBear said:


> I can understand her not really wanting that first thing in the morning... My SO has commented on some " after effects" with some of her pants. Black, not so bad. Khaki's and going shopping with mom, not so good.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's what panty-liners are for! Juice, buy her a box and tell her problem solved! 

And maybe others can weigh in, but I'm not sure if you should ask permission to cum in her during sex. Just do it! It is not like you are doing something outrageous that needs permission. It is the "normal" conclusion to the act.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

omgitselaine said:


> Yes of course .......... the ole " panty liner " trick does work and has been used but what if you're ummmm not wearing panties
> 
> Never mind  !!


Duct tape. Has the added benefit of DIY waxing, too.

Plus you're awesome, as others have said. 

C


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> omgitselaine said:
> 
> 
> > Yes of course .......... the ole " panty liner " trick does work and has been used but what if you're ummmm not wearing panties
> ...


Aaawwww you think ... wink wink !?!?!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Abc123wife said:


> That's what panty-liners are for! Juice, buy her a box and tell her problem solved!
> 
> And maybe others can weigh in, but I'm not sure if you should ask permission to cum in her during sex. Just do it! It is not like you are doing something outrageous that needs permission. It is the "normal" conclusion to the act.


The panty liners sounds like a great idea. One problem though that is just one more thing she'll complain about. 

Same with me busting inside her. I could just do it, but she'll be annoyed the second she finds out and that will most likely be right when I'm getting off which will ruin my orgasm.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## jasmine9 (Jul 18, 2014)

I don't like it coming out of me either but I have never used that as an excuse. That's why I always have panty liners! And there is no way she is leaking for days!


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

jasmine9 said:


> I don't like it coming out of me either but I have never used that as an excuse. That's why I always have panty liners! And there is no way she is leaking for days!


Well I'm glad you deal with it even though you don't like it. I can guarantee that she'll complain about pantie liners. I also agree that my cum is not dripping for days. When she said that to me it didn't make sense at all. 

Just so everyone knows I get skinz about 2-3 time a week so it's not like I'm not getting any. I told her the quantity is fine I'm looking for the quality when it comes to having sex with her.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

the somewhat obvious solution to your problem, since she does not orgasm from PIV sex, and does not want cum in her:
Have PIV sex, cum in her, slide on down, and lick inside of her until she DOES orgasm. Kill two birds with one stone.

as far as asking you SO to perform sex acts.....everytime I see the cover of a Cosmo magazine at the super market, there is a list of perverted sex acts detailed on the cover, like "25 hot ways to spice up your anal sex". LOL. Just get her a subscription to the mag, and circle any sex acts you want to try in red pen when each months mag show up!


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> the somewhat obvious solution to your problem, since she does not orgasm from PIV sex, and does not want cum in her:
> Have PIV sex, cum in her, slide on down, and lick inside of her until she DOES orgasm. Kill two birds with one stone.
> 
> as far as asking you SO to perform sex acts.....everytime I see the cover of a Cosmo magazine at the super market, there is a list of perverted sex acts detailed on the cover, like "25 hot ways to spice up your anal sex". LOL. Just get her a subscription to the mag, and circle any sex acts you want to try in red pen when each months mag show up!


Hey murphy. Well that will not happen. She only lets me perform oral on her before sex. Also once she "says shes done" I'm really not allowed to mess with here down there because she claims it does not feel good.

As far as cosmo goes. I went a different route and would send links to her throughout the day about what guys want, what women want, and etc.... she would not take the time to sit down and read any of the material I would send her because she claims she has no time for that. Remember to her I'm the one with the problem and she says its fine on her end.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

FYI to everyone interested. This Thursday is our first counseling session. Wish us luck. This is going to get interesting.


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## JourneyOn (Aug 10, 2014)

Hmm... sounds like she may have some sexual hangups. I like the panty liner idea for her. Maybe suggest a shower with her after if she's so concerned about dripping. 


I hope Thursday goes well for you guys. Hopefully eventually the root of the issue will come to surface. It's interesting that she said that because she's a mom now, she doesn't want to be "freaky" any more.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Lila said:


> So......how did it go?


Well Thursday came and went. The counselor and I had a mix up and it is supposed to be this Thursday. 

In the meantime the SO and I had a few chats. Articles were read, and another chat included her neighborhood girlfriend and things went well. 

When it came to the bedroom she gave me a great BJ followed by sex (missionary and her on top) at the end she gladly accepted my cum inside her. 

We also had sex this morning and she held me in with her legs to accept me again. 

So progress is being made slowly through communication. 

We also read that going to counseling could hurt us negatively. So we got some self help books to tackle our differences. 

Thanks for your concern and I'll keep everyone updated on the progress.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

Juice said:


> Well Thursday came and went. The counselor and I had a mix up and it is supposed to be this Thursday.
> 
> In the meantime the SO and I had a few chats. Articles were read, and another chat included her neighborhood girlfriend and things went well.
> 
> ...


Wow! This is great news! Congrats!


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Well I'm bringing back a real old thread. Finally the wife and I just started MC/ST it's only been almost a year since I was initially supposed to schedule an appointment. 

Update on our sex life. Back to the same ol routine. Can't ejaculate in her, she can have 10 min of oral from me and only gives back about 1 min of oral to me, same sex positions 80% missionary. Very bland sex in my opinion. 

Update on counseling. 
1st session I was told to back off several times by female because come to find out my wife can't even talk about sex with me or anyone else without being uncomfortable. So I have to back off until she is comfortable. I can see where she's coming from, but really funny haven't got any sex since last Wednesday, this appointment was on Friday. So all weekend nothing. This is going well. Not! This might have been a mistake


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Tell your wife she can have sex or she can talk about sex but if she chooses neither you will take that as a strong statement of (i) her feelings toward you and (ii) the aversion she has toward sex. If she is truly uncomfortable she may need to remain silent but she needs to realize there is a price / cost involved in terms of your estimation of when she could reasonably be expected to be a decent sex partner for you. Wife and therapist will tell you that you are being unhelpful. Yes you are, but trust me, if you got disabled wife would be doing a calculation of when / if she could expect you to provide financial support. Unhelpful does not mean wrong or bad or different than what anyone else would do. Your needs matter too.

Tell your therapist that if we have to create a safe atmosphere for wife to discuss sex that is OK. But that means wife needs IC to get there (your presence will undoubtedly interfere with wife's progress). And MC / sex therapy is pointless until wife is comfortable talking about sex. So you will go home and she and wife can work on getting wife comfortable talking about sex. Let therapist try to explain how your presence helps if the goal is to help wife become comfortable talking about sex. Should be helpful in deciding whether you have hired the right therapist.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Holdingontoit said:


> Tell your therapist that if we have to create a safe atmosphere for wife to discuss sex that is OK. But that means wife needs IC to get there (your presence will undoubtedly interfere with wife's progress). And MC / sex therapy is pointless until wife is comfortable talking about sex. So you will go home and she and wife can work on getting wife comfortable talking about sex. Let therapist try to explain how your presence helps if the goal is to help wife become comfortable talking about sex. Should be helpful in deciding whether you have hired the right therapist.


Thanks for the reply. My needs are very important. Actually both of ours.

Well after she told me to back off she asked my wife a few times if she can talk about sex. My wife began to cry. Really sad for me to see this but I guess this is what has to be done. She agreed to talking about it. So the plan is half hour each of us separately. Then we'll come together to see if we can make improvements and set some goals.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Sounds like a good plan. Your wife will cry again before this is over. Do not allow that to end the process. she will be dealing with profound emotions. Nothing wrong with her crying in response.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

Juice said:


> Well I'm not allowed to do it in her so I always finish outside of the V. She doesn't like the way it feels when we are done. I have had a vesectomy so no more kids for us.
> 
> This is only the 2nd time I brought up this. We have been married for 10 years and have to beautiful children.
> 
> ...


seriously?, i know im late the the party but, come on. when did she stop letting your ride the roller coaster till the end? that doesnt seem fair. what you are wanting is not outrageous. you want to c*m in your wife for gods sake. pulling out is o avoid pregnancy, and even then it dont really work. shes 14, i KNOW, lol. I get not wanting to taste your own juices. some people are squeamish like that. thats why you need to have a cooter towel. so you can clean up before you offer her a little taste. i dont mind going down there, but not when its all MOIST and sticky in some places, dry in others, yeah you get my meaning. can be a bit off putting. i digress. she aint being fair dude.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

Juice said:


> she suggested it because she thinks I'm crazy. On top of it I've been asking for 2 years to go to a sex therapist she did not want to hear it. She said we can fix it on our own. Btw. I'm not retired and work 60+ hours a week, she is very busy as well 45+ hours a week and kids. So finding time is going to be an issue.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


duuudeee! if you can find time to breathe you can find time to have sex. your kids sleep dont they? they play? take midday naps? on their computer or phone? having out with friends? in their room? shoot if you have a backyard with a fence, you are IN!


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