# Husband might be gay/bi?



## Stella2732 (Jul 15, 2011)

I need advice, my entire world fell apart last week. I came home to see a gay porn website up on my husband's computer. When I calmly asked him about it, he stated that he was looking up porn (not gay porn) and that it was a pop-up. I took that on face value for a few days until I realized that our Mac doesn't get pop-ups.
A few days later, when he was out, I searched on his computer, but the browser history was deleted. I then used the search bar on the top of the mac and found emails in response to an ad on Craigslist... from a man. I confronted him about this calmly-- I still feel like I'm in shock. He admitted to me that he has been doing this for a long time, since before we met. He says that he hasn't actually met with anyone since we got married three years ago-- but does respond to ads once a month (on average). He also stated that he has never performed acts on anyone else, and no "sex" has happened-- oral and other have. He and I are both getting tested, although he insists I have nothing to worry about. He stated that this all stems from when he was molested as a child, and that he now has a huge weight off of his shoulders that I know and we can talk about it. Things haven't been great in a while anyway-- but I have always been committed to working through things with him. My initial feeling was sadness for him because he has been hiding this for so long.
I'm devastated because this has been happening during our entire relationship. I'm horrified because these random men have his real name, and possibly other information. I'm confused because I still love him. He promises that it will never happen again, he's going to therapy, and says he will do anything. I just can't imagine how we work through this, and I can't imagine how we don't. 
I asked him to leave but he keeps saying that he has no where to go. Please help- any advice at all. I'm so confused and sad.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I am so sorry.

I would suggest therapy.....I also think you handled that all very well.









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I'd bet it has gone further and he's not admitting it.

He won't leave because he has no where to go? Not because he hasn't done anything wrong? Not because he wants to make the marriage work?

You need to get marriage counseling and complete openness with him (passwords, emails, FB, etc...) but even those can be useless if he really wants to find a guy.

I know of some groups you can join if interested. Drop me a PM and I'll let you know.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Your husband is striaght-up gay. I have NEVER looked at gay porn nor had exchanged emails with men looking for sex. And here's the hard part: Women say no to sex. men don't. Why do you think AIDS spread so fast in the gay community?

He has contacted gay men looking for sex? He has had it. GUARANTEE. Time for a polygraph.

And I find it confusing that you are handling it so well. If it were women he was contacting, I get the impression you would be more ticked. But here, the infidelity is the same but there was the deceit of your wedding day where he vowed to be honest with you. Instead he chose to destroy your life so he could live on the down-low.

Polygraph. Then stop handling it so well.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Its very sad for him to hide that from you.
I hope you dont have anything.
If he had felt that way for so long he should have let you know from the beginning and took a different path in his life instead of dragging you along in it.

Im sorry:/


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Due to a TBI and stroke, my husband came out as bi-sexual in 2009 after 25 years of marriage.

So I know the shock, fear, anger, hurt, heartbreak, you name it. I went through it, but I came out on the other side stronger and better. I know you can't imagine it right now, but it WILL get better.

You definitely need to digest the information and decide what it means to you as his wife and to your family BEFORE you make any rash decisions. 

I, and many others have stayed in a marriage where the spouse has come out as gay/bi--it happens more than you realize and you can make it work if that's what you wish.

There are some yahoo groups that specialize in support for this and I am a member of two that are very supportive (one women only and the other for men/women and one for men only), they know what you're going through and you can ask questions, seek advice, etc.

Now--the fact that he hid it from you, while not on the up and up, is quite normal. My husband also did not come forward at first. Part of it was confusion, uncertainty and the fact that he just didn't know how to approach me when he couldn't figure it out himself.

Now while he should have "came out" to you prior to marriage if he knew and then immediately if it happened after, you should be thankful that he is being upfront with you now. Sometimes they are not and continue to lie and deceive. He's relieved you now know, imagine how you would feel if you didn't feel comfortable enough to divulge this type of secret and be who you are. I'm not "excusing" his deception, but put yourself in his shoes for a moment. 

Check out - alternatepaths and MMOMW, both yahoo groups, you can google them and then send an e-mail to request membership and why.

You are more than welcome to PM me for advice or a shoulder to lean on - I have been where you are now and there is light at the end of the tunnel though it may not seem like it at this time.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

MrK said:


> Your husband is striaght-up gay. I have NEVER looked at gay porn nor had exchanged emails with men looking for sex. And here's the hard part: Women say no to sex. men don't. Why do you think AIDS spread so fast in the gay community?
> 
> He has contacted gay men looking for sex? He has had it. GUARANTEE. Time for a polygraph.
> 
> ...


I take exception to this post as it's clear that you do not understand that people don't "choose" to be this way, it's just the way it is. 

You're acting like he's some type of pariah and has some type of disease. But for the grace of God go I - you never know if you might face this same situation in your own family one day, don't be so quick to judge that which you do not know.

I do know, this also happened in my marriage. And like the poster, I DID take it well, once I was able to understand it fully and decide what it meant to me and my family. 

Anyone who is gay or bi-sexual can tell you there is a lot of shame in admitting and coming out to who you actually are. And because of reactions like yours, that is why there is shame. They don't feel accepted, they feel weird, like something's wrong with them, etc. 

Apparently you also do not understand the difference between gay and bi-sexual. I suggest you google it and understand that there are clear differences between the two. 

A bi-sexual man is sexually attracted to both sexes, male and female but might not desire an actual emotional, romantic attachment to a male.

A gay man is just the opposite. They are ONLY attracted to same sex and desire intimacy, emotional and romantic attachments to same sex partners. They do not desire this with a female. 

Ignorance is what breeds contempt and judgement. Please be more informed before you spouse out about things that you don't have all the facts for - these are husbands, wives and children you are talking about--life is not all black and white and rosy. Bigots make it worse.

Now the fact that he hid this secret, not surprised--happens a lot due to the shame and fear about coming about and being judged (exactly what you did in this post). That should be addressed in counselling, etc.

My husband is not weird, gay, spreading AIDS or promiscusous. He's a man who is bi-sexual. Simple and straight. He's attracted sexually to other men--so what, doesn't bother me, I've accepted and support him fully.

I think it's a testament to her true character that she is not falling apart and screaming, etc., and trying to handle the situation calmly and with forethought.

She should "handle it well" and do what's necessary for her and her family.


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## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

First, you'd be surprised about pop-ups, and macs...

But yeah, gay guys do keep it under wraps and get married, and have kids, and can be great husbands. My aunt and a cousin of mine are/were "*** hags" and everything seems fine for them, aside from the fact that each of them has a gay son... "like begets like" and all that.



MrK said:


> Why do you think AIDS spread so fast in the gay community?


Kind of out of touch, considering that heteros are the biggest population of HIV+ people nowadays. I always thought that since men would use male prostitutes, and that drug use is pretty high among gays/prostitutes, that would be a reason. I also thought that the reason it spread so fast was because no one knew what it was then, and that you can be seropositive and not even know you are infected..

I'd like to read your (bigoted or perhaps narrow minded) reasons why it spread so fast among Haitians in the 80's.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Funny. You can say anything you want about heterosexual cheaters, but bring up a theory critical of a gay cheater (and pre-cheating liar) and you're a homophobe.

Aids spread like wildfire in the gay community because it was the goal in pre-AIDS San Francisco to have casual, unprotected sex with as many men as possible. 20,000 partners was the gold standard. That made you a legend. (SOURCE: "And The Band Played ON" a history of the spread of AIDS).

There is more promiscuity in the male gay community. Women say "no" to sex. Men don't. (Source: common sense).

Go ahead and call me a bigot if it makes your little world-view more comfortable. But she married a liar and a cheater who, because of the nature of his sexual persuasion, has a MUCH GREATER chance of hooking up for sex than if he were straight. He had probably had sex with many people who are not his wife. Probably unprotected, putting her at greater risk of getting a life threatening disease. But go ahead, ignore me because I'm a bigot. Your choice.

He's a cheater and a liar. Treat him as such.


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## dabdab1000 (Aug 8, 2012)

he probably not gay just confuses sex with men with emotional closeness, something he's probably never had as a man because it was taken away from him as a child. now that he's shared his trauma with you why not work on getting that closeness between yourselves

Yes this is shocking, but could meen a fresh new relationship between you, if you're will to put the effort in


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Stella2732 said:


> I need advice, my entire world fell apart last week. I came home to see a gay porn website up on my husband's computer. When I calmly asked him about it, he stated that he was looking up porn (not gay porn) and that it was a pop-up. I took that on face value for a few days until I realized that our Mac doesn't get pop-ups.
> A few days later, when he was out, I searched on his computer, but the browser history was deleted. I then used the search bar on the top of the mac and found emails in response to an ad on Craigslist... from a man. I confronted him about this calmly-- I still feel like I'm in shock. He admitted to me that he has been doing this for a long time, since before we met. He says that he hasn't actually met with anyone since we got married three years ago-- but does respond to ads once a month (on average). *He also stated that he has never performed acts on anyone else, and no "sex" has happened-- oral and other have.* He and I are both getting tested, although he insists I have nothing to worry about. He stated that this all stems from when he was molested as a child, and that he now has a huge weight off of his shoulders that I know and we can talk about it. Things haven't been great in a while anyway-- but I have always been committed to working through things with him. My initial feeling was sadness for him because he has been hiding this for so long.
> I'm devastated because this has been happening during our entire relationship. I'm horrified because these random men have his real name, and possibly other information. I'm confused because I still love him. He promises that it will never happen again, he's going to therapy, and says he will do anything. I just can't imagine how we work through this, and I can't imagine how we don't.
> I asked him to leave but he keeps saying that he has no where to go. Please help- any advice at all. I'm so confused and sad.


Isn't oral, sex? I thought they called it oral SEX.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

dabdab1000 said:


> he probably not gay just confuses sex with men with emotional closeness, something he's probably never had as a man because it was taken away from him as a child. now that he's shared his trauma with you why not work on getting that closeness between yourselves
> 
> Yes this is shocking, but could meen a fresh new relationship between you, if you're will to put the effort in


More excuses just because he's a confused gay/bi. If he were a confused nymphomaniac sex addict, hooking up with women on Craigslist, he'd be in the pit and we'd all have the first rock in our hand and a little pile started at our feet.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> A bi-sexual man is sexually attracted to both sexes, male and female but might not desire an actual emotional, romantic attachment to a male.
> 
> A gay man is just the opposite. They are ONLY attracted to same sex and desire intimacy, emotional and romantic attachments to same sex partners. They do not desire this with a female.


While it's true that women fall on a bisexual continuum and even change so-called "orientation" according to the sex of the object of their affection, the current research indicates there is essentially no such thing as male bisexuality.

The man is a practicing homosexual.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

HuggyBear said:


> Kind of out of touch, considering that heteros are the biggest population of HIV+ people nowadays.


More PC myth, with regards to sexual practice in the USA.

Fact: CDC estimates that MSM (male homosexuals) account for just 2% of the U.S. population, but accounted for 61% of all new HIV infections in 2009. MSM accounted for 49% of people living with HIV infection in 2008 (the most recent year national prevalence data are available).

Fact: In 2009, white MSM continued to account for the largest number of new HIV infections of any group in the U.S. (11,400), followed closely by black MSM (10,800).

Fact: Young, black MSM were the only risk group in the U.S. to experience statistically significant increases in new HIV infections from 2006–2009—from 4,400 new HIV infections in 2006 to 6,500 infections in 2009.

Fact: Heterosexuals accounted for only 27% of estimated new HIV infections in 2009 and only 28% of people living with HIV infection in 2008.

Fact: HIV infections among women are primarily attributed to heterosexual contact or injection drug use. Women accounted for 23% of estimated new HIV infections in 2009 and 25% of those living with HIV infection in 2008. 



HuggyBear said:


> I'd like to read your (bigoted or perhaps narrow minded) reasons why it spread so fast among Haitians in the 80's.


Sorry that the science can't help but be bigoted. It just won't stick to the accepted narrative. As for the historical fact of male Haitians spreading AIDs to white male sex tourists in 80's? Gay for pay.


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## dabdab1000 (Aug 8, 2012)

MrK said:


> More excuses just because he's a confused gay/bi. If he were a confused nymphomaniac sex addict, hooking up with women on Craigslist, he'd be in the pit and we'd all have the first rock in our hand and a little pile started at our feet.


unless you've suffered fron child abuse have you the moral high ground to call it excuses???


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Can someone show me where a serial cheater and liar was EVER given such a pass as this guy? And I don't know if it is related, but political Facebook posts from my non-political-ranter friends OVERWHELMINGLY support gay rights.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> While it's true that women fall on a bisexual continuum and even change so-called "orientation" according to the sex of the object of their affection, the current research indicates there is essentially no such thing as male bisexuality.
> 
> The man is a practicing homosexual.


The study you linked has been eviscerated by psychologists and other scientists in the field. A lot of the data that ran contrary to the hypothesis put forward at the top of the study was completely eliminated from the final results. 

There is male bisexuality. There has always been male bisexuality. Every single known society has shown evidence of male bisexual activity. In fact, for the totality of human history, there was never a "bisexual" label. Men have been having sex with men for as long as sex has existed, and until fairly recently in human history there was no "gay identity", or a lifestyle that came along with this sex act. Two men would ****, and then go home to their wives and **** them too. Several ancient societies were notorious for elevating male-on-male sexual contact to even above male-on-female; the Spartans, fo example, routinely engaged in homosexual activity, right alongside heterosexual activity. Even today most men who have sex with other men also likewise have sex with women. That the existence of male bisexuality is still debated in the USA is hilarious and stupid.

But then again you can still find studies that suggest female squirting is a myth, no matter how many women who actually squirt protest.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> While it's true that women fall on a bisexual continuum and even change so-called "orientation" according to the sex of the object of their affection, the current research indicates there is essentially no such thing as male bisexuality.
> 
> The man is a practicing homosexual.


To the contrary, research shows both sexes can be ANYWHERE on the continum and research also shows that ALL OF US are prone to some type of bisexual behavior whether we admit it or not.

You need to not only do some research but actually speak to someone who specializes in sexual psychology--I have.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

MrK said:


> Can someone show me where a serial cheater and liar was EVER given such a pass as this guy? And I don't know if it is related, but political Facebook posts from my non-political-ranter friends OVERWHELMINGLY support gay rights.


Nobody is giving him a pass (at least not me).

The point I was trying to make that went totally over your head is that this is not a simple black/white issue when it comes to SSA (same sex attraction). Addressing the cheating and being a liar is ONE ISSUE, the SSA is an entirely SEPARATE ISSUE.

Which you would know if you had any "personal" experience with an SSA situation.

I have personal experience and can tell you that it's not as simple as you believe or think and your comments indicate your lack of knowledge.

In fact, in my opinion, several of your comments lack any forethought and scream of bigotry. But hey, that's just my opinion, right? Hope one of your "kids" doesn't come out as bisexual or gay some day...don't think you'll handle it well.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

There is no true male bisexuality.

Men are either hetero or GAY.

No in between. Guys that screw women and guys are gay and confused. Or in denial, or just pretending.

This poor woman's husband mislead her from the day they met, dragged her into a marriage fated for failure and deceived her for years.

Him getting AIDS from a gay parking lot hookup would be true Karma, as long as she is spared.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> There is no true male bisexuality.
> 
> Men are either hetero or GAY.
> 
> ...


Actually, not true. Go do some research and speak to someone who works in sexual psychology--you couldn't be more wrong.

But this is a typical response from someone who is uninformed and probably homophobic. How narrow minded and judgemental can you be? 

Did he mislead her - sure - but that is a separate issue from the same sex attraction - they are not one in the same. No excuses for the deceit and possible cheating. 

And for your information, and this shows how narrow your limited information is, not all GAY or BISEXUAL MEN or WOMEN cruise for hook-ups in parking lots. Stereotyping--look it up.

It amazes how many ignorant, uninformed and judgemental people still walk the earth...shame on every one of you. There is only one who judges the human race and it isn't anyone here.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Another thing about supposed bisexuals is they spread AIDS from the gay community to the heterosexual community because they can't settle on one gender. 

It's like the freaking plague.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> Another thing about supposed bisexuals is they spread AIDS from the gay community to the heterosexual community because they can't settle on one gender.
> 
> It's like the freaking plague.


So now bisexuals can't practice safe sex either.

Can you spell I G N O R A N C E?

Geez I'm done with this - it's like banging my head against a brick wall, just hope you don't ever have to "eat" those words some day--but there for the grace of God go I...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

The ignorance about human sexuality, prevalent especially in the US, is embarrassing.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Actually, not true. Go do some research and speak to someone who works in sexual psychology--you couldn't be more wrong.
> 
> But this is a typical response from someone who is uninformed and probably homophobic. How narrow minded and judgemental can you be?
> 
> ...


But this one does, per the OP.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I dont give a F if he's bi, gay, hetero or likes to dip his wick in warm butter, fact of the matter is he's a cheater and OP is hurt by that.

Abuse is a factor but shouldnt be used as a cause. There are plenty of abuse victims who don't cheat.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

sinnister said:


> I dont give a F if he's bi, gay, hetero or *likes to dip his wick in warm butter*, fact of the matter is he's a cheater and OP is hurt by that.
> 
> Abuse is a factor but shouldnt be used as a cause. There are plenty of abuse victims who don't cheat.


Is this considered cheating???? I sure hope not....


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Sbrown said:


> Is this considered cheating???? I sure hope not....


Me either. (That would make me a serial cheater). I mean...mmmm butter!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> To the contrary, research shows both sexes can be ANYWHERE on the continum and research also shows that ALL OF US are prone to some type of bisexual behavior whether we admit it or not.
> 
> You need to not only do some research but actually speak to someone who specializes in sexual psychology--I have.


You need to actually read the studies, which are linked to in the references in the NYT articles. Chivers is pretty much the boss woman in the field.

Time after time in the studies referenced, and even in similar later studies that claimed "bisexual men" responded to women, the key point was the "bisexual men" did not respond to women with women. A guy had to get into the frame before the "bisexual men" would physically respond. You gotta read the fine print.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> You need to actually read the studies, which are linked to in the references in the NYT articles. Chivers is pretty much the boss woman in the field.
> 
> Time after time in the studies referenced, and even in similar later studies that claimed "bisexual men" responded to women, the key point was the "bisexual men" did not respond to women with women. A guy had to get into the frame before the "bisexual men" would physically respond. You gotta read the fine print.


Exactly. 

There's a lot of ignorance about this topic, thanks for taking the time to further clarify that controlled, reliable studies have proven that there is probably no such thing as a bisexual man.

Only heterosexual and 100% gay men who really aren't attracted to women but think they are. 

Pick a gender folks, and stay with it. Don't destroy lives due to your own confusion and self deception, it's not fair! Not to mention the spread of AIDS from the homosexual community to the heterosexuals as a result of same.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

jaquen said:


> There is male bisexuality. There has always been male bisexuality. Every single known society has shown evidence of male bisexual activity. In fact, for the totality of human history, there was never a "bisexual" label. Men have been having sex with men for as long as sex has existed, and until fairly recently in human history there was no "gay identity", or a lifestyle that came along with this sex act. Two men would ****, and then go home to their wives and **** them too. Several ancient societies were notorious for elevating male-on-male sexual contact to even above male-on-female; the Spartans, fo example, routinely engaged in homosexual activity, right alongside heterosexual activity. Even today most men who have sex with other men also likewise have sex with women. That the existence of male bisexuality is still debated in the USA is hilarious and stupid.
> 
> But then again you can still find studies that suggest female squirting is a myth, no matter how many women who actually squirt protest.


Lady, I've forgotten more about Greece and Rome than you will ever know. Spartans were essentially conditioned by the state for homosexual response from childhood. The other Greeks made fun of them. Don't forget the Sacred Band of Thebes another homosexual lot. And not all Greek parents allowed the fruity pederasty game. Even in such relationships, no penetration was allowed. 

The passive male partner was seriously looked down upon as a vile creature by both the Greeks and the Romans. It was all about dominance and submission. The receptive males are considered sick in the head (cinaedi) and considered to be the epitome of what a man must NOT be. Homosexual relations in the Legion received the death penalty. In Rome, free youths were untouchable.

And of course Roman researchers, had any existed, had no access to a penile plethysmograph.

In ancient terms, OP has a cinaedus for a husband.

Just because a guy is homosexual doesn't mean he can't get it up for the right woman with enough stimulation. Even Rock Hudson blew his load on Mamie Van Doren once.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> You need to actually read the studies, which are linked to in the references in the NYT articles. Chivers is pretty much the boss woman in the field.
> 
> Time after time in the studies referenced, and even in similar later studies that claimed "bisexual men" responded to women, the key point was the "bisexual men" did not respond to women with women. A guy had to get into the frame before the "bisexual men" would physically respond. You gotta read the fine print.


Actually, there are studies that dispute your studies--so we'll just call a draw.

My husband is bi-sexual and DOES respond to women with women and men with men and women with men. All three actually, and gets turned on by all. Are you telling me he doesn't know what turns him on?

Unless you are in their HEADS and thinking their thoughts, you can't presume to know whether they are bi-sexual or gay--that's a question for them only.

The sexual psychologist that I see differs with your facts and studies of a similar nature. So whose right?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> Lady, I've forgotten more about Greece and Rome than you will ever know. Spartans were essentially conditioned by the state for homosexual response from childhood. The other Greeks made fun of them. Don't forget the Sacred Band of Thebes another homosexual lot. And not all Greek parents allowed the fruity pederasty game. Even in such relationships, no penetration was allowed.
> 
> The passive male partner was seriously looked down upon as a vile creature by both the Greeks and the Romans. It was all about dominance and submission. The receptive males are considered sick in the head (cinaedi) and considered to be the epitome of what a man must NOT be. Homosexual relations in the Legion received the death penalty. In Rome, free youths were untouchable.
> 
> ...


Regardless of what you think you know, you don't know what goes on in the mind of other people...you can only presume. And presumptions are like a$$holes, everybody has one.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Whoa there's some serious ignorance going on in this thread
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> Exactly.
> 
> There's a lot of ignorance about this topic, thanks for taking the time to further clarify that controlled, reliable studies have proven that there is probably no such thing as a bisexual man.
> 
> ...


And you are in the minds of all of these people and know exactly how they feel and think...come on.

There is only ignorance in bigotry.

For every study that says there is no male bi-sexuality, there are a hundred more that say there is.

You are entitled to believe those studies that support your theory as well as I.

My husband is BI-SEXUAL, not gay and it didn't even come about until after a TBI and a stroke. Don't presume to tell me what he is/is not as I live with him and you don't.

Ignorance about how the brain works and how it relates to sexuality is people's biggest problem, including yours.

Go take a trip to a sexual psychologist and a neurologist--maybe they can set you straight. I have regular counselling sessions with both in the area where I live and I've learned quite a bit. 

Quit getting your information off of the internet, actually go talk to real-life people who have the knowledge that you don't.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Whoa there's some serious ignorance going on in this thread
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Extreme ignorance, but that's usually the case with know-it-alls and bigots. They can't see past their own big nose.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Actually, there are studies that dispute your studies--so we'll just call a draw.
> 
> My husband is bi-sexual and DOES respond to women with women and men with men and women with men. All three actually, and gets turned on by all. Are you telling me he doesn't know what turns him on?
> 
> ...


Since you made this statement, doesn't it invalidate both sides of the debate? Neither side can get "in their Heads..."


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Lady,


I am a man.



Machiavelli said:


> I've forgotten more about Greece and Rome than you will ever know.


And you know this how? I didn't realize that we were so personally acquainted that you had such definitive knowledge of what is contained within my noggin.

Then again, considering you couldn't get my sex correct, I suspect that we're not as familiar as your tone suggests.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> My husband is BI-SEXUAL, not gay and it didn't even come about until after a TBI and a stroke.


Maybe it came out after the stroke but that doesn't mean it wasn't there already. It doesn't even mean that the stroke somehow caused it to happen. I've heard of people coming out of coma's speaking a foreign language but I've never heard of a guy go in straight and come out looking for a penis. 



MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I live with him and you don't.


Thank god for that. 



MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Go take a trip to a sexual psychologist and a neurologist--maybe they can set you straight.


I'm already straight.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Well if he has been molested by a man chances are he is acting out. It's very common for survivors to do this. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I would recommend IC for you. Read all you can about male survivors. It's a complicated situation. I think he has betrayed you and even though he has been hurt that doesn't excuse it. Eventually he is going to have to own up to his betrayal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CPM12 (Jul 10, 2012)

Please read my story, maybe we can support eachother in our very similar situations. i understand your pain and im so very sorry.


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