# not orgasming



## wife29 (Jun 12, 2012)

My feelings are pretty hurt. My husband normally makes me orgasm… but recently he will every once in a while get me turned on have sex with me finish and just go to sleep. My feelings are hurt because it seems that at that time my feelings didn't matter. He doesn't care if I lay awake for hours afterwards frustrated. I could just finish myself but by that time I am upset. Why cant he care enough to use vibrator to make me finish if he cant do it? I don't know how to feel better about this since we fought about it last night and he just doesn't care that I feel bad about this.


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## Double Trouble (Jun 5, 2012)

Sex is a two way street. If he is not bringing you to climax then I would reverse the order. Let him make you climax first then satisfy his needs.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

My wife goes first so this doesn't happen. The other night I was tipsy and it was random, I came first (she only cums with stimulation directly to c while sex). I was laying off to the side playing with her nipples and trying to grind in her but she kept hitting me because I was falling asleep. She eventually came and laughed, but this is why she goes first. I was drunk regardless, it wasn't going to be pretty no matter what. 

My advice: Talk to him and not us. Communicate. Let him know how frustrated you are. Let him know you signed up on a forum just to complain. Don't laugh. Tell him this is serious and when he orgasms, you want to orgasm.


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## Ayla (Aug 24, 2011)

Are you waiting for him to "give you" an orgasm? Why don't you go ahead and just have one? Rub your clitoris or position yourself so that you get to orgasm too.


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## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

Don't wait for him to give you an orgasm. Take one. Use whatever method works.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

wife29 said:


> My feelings are pretty hurt. My husband normally makes me orgasm… but recently he will every once in a while get me turned on have sex with me finish and just go to sleep. My feelings are hurt because it seems that at that time my feelings didn't matter. He doesn't care if I lay awake for hours afterwards frustrated. I could just finish myself but by that time I am upset. Why cant he care enough to use vibrator to make me finish if he cant do it? I don't know how to feel better about this since we fought about it last night and he just doesn't care that I feel bad about this.


Ask him to prolong foreplay so that you are more raring to go when he goes in so that you climax more quickly, typically it does take a woman longer to orgasm (from what I have read) than a man. I need more stimulation, lead up.... to get off, or if my hubs gets off before me, I say don't move, and move myself rubbing until I do... with him still inside.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Ayla said:


> Are you waiting for him to "give you" an orgasm? Why don't you go ahead and just have one? Rub your clitoris or position yourself so that you get to orgasm too.


If you wait for him to give you an orgasm you will be waiting around forever.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

I think you should explain it is important for you. Communication is key.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Double Trouble said:


> Sex is a two way street. If he is not bringing you to climax then I would reverse the order. Let him make you climax first then satisfy his needs.



That or maybe you should get something new he can use on you? Maybe drop some subtle hints that would be the ending to a perfect night or something?

My sister actually "stumbles" onto sex toys on Amazon and shows them to her husband and then "accidentally" they are shipped in whatever they are ordering. :smthumbup:

NOT saying its your fault or his, but sometimes guys need a little help staying out of ruts, they are dumb like that.


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