# Im done with her



## ImJames22 (Jul 12, 2021)

She's gone


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Sounds like some juvenile behavior. Teenage stuff. Are you concerned she was sexual with one of the other men?


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## ImJames22 (Jul 12, 2021)

I'm very concerned, I understand she wants to hang out with friends but this is exactly what you said. Childish and I'm worried she doesn't understand if the roles were flipped that she wouldn't like that at all. I thought I knew her but this didn't seem like her at all. I let her know that this can't keep happening if we want to actually be committed to this relationship.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

To answer your question: No, its not ok.

This is not how someone in a committed relationship behaves.

If the tables were turned and you did this with 5 single woman, she would be freaking out.

She likes male attention and isn't trustworthy.

Also, probably not a good idea to get married so young.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

ImJames22 said:


> I'm very concerned, I understand she wants to hang out with friends but this is exactly what you said. Childish and I'm worried she doesn't understand if the roles were flipped that she wouldn't like that at all. I thought I knew her but this didn't seem like her at all. I let her know that this can't keep happening if we want to actually be committed to this relationship.


Copious amounts of Alcohol can do that to people.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Wow! Just ****ing Wow!!!
Can anyone actually be this naive. 
You are actually considering marrying this woman?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

re16 said:


> Also, probably not a good idea to get married so young.


This. You are too young (specially you being in the military) to actually be in any serious relationship. The military is one the hardest thing a civilian will ever do, and I'm talking about mature adults married with children. it takes a special kind of woman to marry a military man and to honor and abide by their marriage vows. You should know (in the event that you don't) that specially for young couples when one or both are in the military the chances of the relationship surviving are very low.

She's too young, and you not being there is not going to be a deterrent for her to party or cheat or whatever. Eventually she'll get tired of you not being there and will end the relationship. and if not mark my words, she'll be with you and never tell you about her affairs, unless somehow you find out. This is how normally plays out for the big percentage of relationships for military personnel. Sorry to be this pessimistic, but life is what it is.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

How long were you together before you were engaged?

Was their a religious reason to get engaged so young?


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## ImJames22 (Jul 12, 2021)

I've known her longer than anyone I currently know besides family. We've been friends since middle school. I just felt a connection I haven't with anyone else and she has never done something like this ever.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

ImJames22 said:


> she has never done something like this ever.


... that you know of.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Erm... yeah she sounds more like a loosely attached “maybe girlfriend” rather than someone engaged to be married.


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## ImJames22 (Jul 12, 2021)

Thank you all for your responses


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

No way to know if she's actually cheating, but for sure she is too young to be getting married. She is nowhere near ready for domesticity and a commitment. You need to set her free and both of you can start dating other people. She's just too young and so are you. Wait until you're approaching 30 and got a lot of that out of your systems.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I was 22 once myself. I would go out and get drunk with friends.

I also realized I had no business getting married until I got the craziness out of my system.

Seriously reconsider if you want to get married to this woman.

P.S. - I was an army spouse. I saw plenty of marriages destroyed during long deployments.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Prodigal said:


> I was 22 once myself. I would go out and get drunk with friends.


I do that too only I bring my wife. Unfortunately not an option for the OP at this time.

BTW OP thank you for your service!


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I don't think she had sex with one of the guys.

I think she had sex with several. 

Not marriage material AT ALL.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Whether it was her decision or yours to end it, that was the best outcome at this point.


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