# Any Advice would be great



## loveshiswife (Aug 18, 2012)

First off, I have been on here before and talked with some people about problems. However none of those problems would push me to file a divorce.

So a few weeks ago I was sitting on the couch and she says 'Im not in love with you anymore I want a divorce'. Well I cried, a lot.

then began to do things to figure this out. Am I really as screwed as what im seeing online. We have 1 child we both agree that he should be 50/50 Custody between the 2 of us. so child support is what it is, I don't care about that ill pay whatever to make sure son has what he needs. 

The Words Spousal support scare the crap out of me. She quit her job 2 years ago, It made financial sense then. however she was going to go back to work when school started this year. How bad am I screwed when it comes to Spousal support. 

On the bright side she does not want the house, So I am trying to keep it, but I am trying to be as amicable as possible. 

Any advice would be nice. 

PS I guess I need to change my name...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

loveshiswife said:


> First off, I have been on here before and talked with some people about problems. However none of those problems would push me to file a divorce.
> 
> So a few weeks ago I was sitting on the couch and she says 'Im not in love with you anymore I want a divorce'. Well I cried, a lot.
> 
> ...


You have been married 5 years, right?

When your wife was working, what % of your joint income did she earn?

A lot of his depends on the state you live in. If you don't mind sharing your state we can give you more specific info.

In general, since you have only been married to her for 5 years, that's a short term marriage. And she's only been out of work for 2 years. At most you might be paying her something for about half the length of the marriage. But in many states with a short term marriage you will not have to pay any spousal support.

Does she realize that she has to find work NOW?


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## loveshiswife (Aug 18, 2012)

we have been married 7 Years, 
we are in PA, 
She knows she needs to find I have helped her get her resume out there and she has had a few interviews. 
When she worked she made about 1/2 of what I make, 
I have read that pa has no Hard fast rules about alimony. but everything I said says 3/1 is the normal info. 
The kicker is she has a 4 year criminal justice degree that im almost done paying for!!!

how's that for a kick in the pants.

I have told her she can live in the house until she can afford a place, and no paper work has been filed. am I better off if I don't let her file until she has the job secured?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

loveshiswife said:


> we have been married 7 Years,
> we are in PA,
> She knows she needs to find I have helped her get her resume out there and she has had a few interviews.
> When she worked she made about 1/2 of what I make,
> ...


A quick question .. .. what do you mean by "3/1 is the normal info"?


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## loveshiswife (Aug 18, 2012)

3 years marriage = 1 Year support


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So with a 3/1.. you will probably pay Alimony Pendente lite until the divorce is final and then some regular alimony for about 2 years 4 months.

Bottom line is that you need to talk to an attorney NOW so that you can plan what your need to do.

Yes, you will do best to wait until she has a job to file for divorce.
In PA, the higher earning spouse pays the other Alimony Pendente lite. This is support that you will pay until the divorce is final. Then regular alimony would kick in once the divorce is final.

In some states what they do for Alimony Pendente lite (or temporary alimony) is to take all your bills and both incomes, and divide them 50/50. 

A good ball park calculation for alimony is the 40/50 formula. IT’s 40% of higher income minus 50% of lower income equals support. Here’s the calculation based on $100,000 for the high income (number pulled out of the sky)

$100,000 * .4 = 40,000
$50,000 * .5 = 25,000
40,000 - 25,000 = 15,000 
So in this scenario, alimony would be $15,000/year or $1,250/month.
This is just a rough figure.

Pittsburgh Spousal Support Lawyers | Allegheny County Alimony Attorneys | PA Alimony Pendente Lite Law Firm


Pennsylvania Online Support Calculator 
PA OnLine Support Calculator


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is there any chance that you will want to try to save the marriage?


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## loveshiswife (Aug 18, 2012)

no. 

You know this is ridiculous, So Between Child Support and alimony, I can't afford to pay for a standard apartment where i live how screwed up is that... All because she wanted out of the marriage.

No wonder the world is so screwed up.


child support appx 1100

Salary 100k *.4 - 0 *.3 =40k / 12 3,333 + 1100 = 4433.0 Per mo Right?


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## loveshiswife (Aug 18, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Is there any chance that you will want to try to save the marriage?


You know, I wish that i could say yes. But I cant, She says she Does not love me. I asked her if she was sure, She said she was. I feel the resentment everyday in my own home. Its just not a good situation for my son to be in. 

I cant wait till she has moved out and i can put this all behind me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

loveshiswife said:


> no.
> 
> You know this is ridiculous, So Between Child Support and alimony, I can't afford to pay for a standard apartment where i live how screwed up is that... All because she wanted out of the marriage.
> 
> ...


I think that .3 is supposed to be a .5, though with zero income that does not matter.

Where did you get the 1100 of child support from?

If she earns zero then you would pay her about that in alimony.

If you have your child 50% of the time, the $1100 in child support seems extremely high. 

If she has a job, then it does down. 

Also keep in mind that you do not pay income tax on alimony. She will have to pay it on the money she gets.

If you cannot rent the cheapest apartment with you keeping about $66K, how will she be able to live on the alimony or even if she's working and gets much less of no alimony?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

loveshiswife said:


> You know, I wish that i could say yes. But I cant, She says she Does not love me. I asked her if she was sure, She said she was. I feel the resentment everyday in my own home. Its just not a good situation for my son to be in.
> 
> I cant wait till she has moved out and i can put this all behind me.


A marriage can come back from this sort of thing. In a life time people's feelings for each other goes up and down.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I ran the child support and alimony calculator giving you 178 over nights per years.. meaning 50/50 custody

with your incomes of $100,000 and $0
Child support = $1218
alimony = $1985
Total = $3,203

with your incomes of $100,000 and $50,000
Child support = $1025
alimony = $833
Total = $1,858

Did you look at the calculator? Go play around with it some.

And talk to an attorney.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

By the way.. do not move out of your home any time soon. STay there because it's your legal residence and your child is there. If you do move out, she will have a good argument for getting primary custody and the child support will rocket... and you will see very little of your child.

Neither of you can kick the other out of the house as it's the legal residence. No one has to move until the judge orders either one of you out or for the house to be sold.

Also if you stay in the same home, the expenses will remain what they are now until the divorce is final. 

Another reason to not leave your home is that her words sound like she might be having an affair. IF you move out, the OM will move in with her and be around your child. You do not want to be paying towards the life style of another man.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I don't think you are as screwed as you think, unless you just cave in to making her life nice while you rot away. Like EleGirl said, talk to a lawyer. It doesn't have to get contentious just because you have a lawyer, but you need to know and not guess. They will probably tell you about an "imputed income", which is what she could reasonably expect to be earning with her skills and background. Given that she's only been out of work 2 years AND she's got a degree suggests she can earn a living.


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