# How to deal with H emotion affair



## pinkpostit (Nov 19, 2008)

I truly am at a loss of what I can do here. My husband and I have been together for over ten years. Five months ago he bumps into an ex-girlfriend of one of his old roommates on the internet. It only took a week or so before the occassional phone call escalated into constant text messages, emails and long distance phone calls behind my back. When I confronted him, his response was "is this going to be an issue?" He immediately defends her when I point out how horrible she was. We have been seeing a couples counselor for one month now and the issue of third third party relationship came up and after being told he could not have his cake and eat it too, his response to the questions of whether or not to focus on me was "I'm done." He denies that this is an emotional affair but instead calls it a really great friendship. But even my best friend and I don't text each other 50+ times a day. And we don't sneak around his back to call each other. I am at a complete loss.


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## magicsunset08 (Oct 30, 2008)

Emotions end up into actions. Just ask my wife. She had a good friend as she called him. She ended up having sex with him. Devastated me. It has been over 2 years and still recovering. Don't put up with it.


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## mom876 (Nov 15, 2008)

I can relate. My husband can't seem to give up communication with his EA. She has taken him (us) for thousands in "loans" over the past few months. I am pretty sure I haven't discovered it all yet. 

Good luck, I am sending postive thoughts your way.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

mom876 said:


> I can relate. My husband can't seem to give up communication with his EA. She has taken him (us) for thousands in "loans" over the past few months.


one thing i'll take away from these forums is how stupid horny guys are. the things they allow themselves to get tangled up in. i've never been so horny that i'd let someone steal money.


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## cubsgirl75 (Nov 28, 2008)

I have been married for just over ten years. About 2 years ago, a woman my husband worked with pressured him into having an extramarital relationship. At the time he seemed to have made a good decision and to stop it from happening. As he worked with her, he told me that he still needed to have a good relationship with her, as she could curry favor with the boss and have him disciplined,or worse...fired. I dealt with it. Then I started noticing the text messages coming through. They were highly suggestive and sexual. He did not repond to them in a sexual manner, but he did respond to them. It was also around this time that I saw love letters from her in his briefcase. The clincher was when there was a work related trip coming up (my husband is a teacher, and this was a class trip), and she was going as well. While this was not alarming to me at first, what alarmed me was the text messages between both of them, culminating in him telling her (Don't worry we have this weekend". I was emotionally destroyed. When I brought it to his attention, he completely denied it and said it was just a joke between friends. The text messages stopped for awhile, but like everything they started up again. While they were toned down, they still hurt me. When I brought them to his attention, he became angered and said that she is his friend, and probably one of the only ones he has. I endured this at this point because they were no longer working in the same building. Fast forward to now...I just saw the cell phone bill, and there are text messages from this person to my husband and vice versa. She now doesn't even work in the area anymore, and is going to college to become a religious missionary (the irony in that...isn't one of the ten commandments "Thou shalt not commit adultery") I have told him I know that he is still in contact with her, but he denies it. I should also mention that 3 months ago they were going to have a "date", but for some unknown reason it was cancelled. I found out via his text messages. He has since started cleaning his text message in and outbox, but the proof is on the phone bill. When I confront him, he becomes angry to the point where he is aggressive. What do I make of this?


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## brenda (Jun 27, 2008)

All I can say is WOW!! If your husband wont stop communication with someone, and he knows that it's bothering you in a large way. Then he sucks. He needs to be understanding to your feelings and cut off all communication, I would ask him to get his priorities straight. If he doesn't understand, then let a third party (with a degree) explain it to him in a way he can understand.


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