# Sudden anger - Normal?



## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

So things this week have been rather 'good'. I've been working on things on my end. Today, out of the blue, the images came to my head and instead of them being 'fogged' with time, they were crystal clear again and I was just so angry. I know that time is what it takes, but this was for no reason, out of the blue, anger. I wanted to get home and start the whole 'questioning' process all over again. I wanted her to feel the same hurt.

This afternoon, right as this anger was hitting, she sent me a text asking me for some help with English. I replied and she sent a rather nice reply back. This time it had no effect on me and rather than being sad and depressed I was just...ANGRY.

Now I'm at home watching some videos on my computer trying to get things out of my head. She should be on her way home now and the last thing I need is to be upset about something or to show her that I'm upset. Tomorrow I have the whole day off and I'm trying to think of things to do, people to see, places to go...just to keep myself busy. Nothing comes to mind.

Is it normal for this kind of emotion to just HIT out of the blue?

I'm posting out of the regular thread I have in hopes that it might help someone else.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

This happens a lot for a while, I go through every emotion, mad, hurt, teary and it just comes on by some trigger and runs it's course........I usually tell my hubby that this is how I have felt that day and a hug from him and a bit of understanding that he has put me in this place helps.....I used to scream while I was driving my car, it seemed to help getting it out........try it


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## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

If I tell my wife I feel this way and 'this' is why I think it'll make things worse. I wish she was as understanding.

She just sent me a text that she was helping a co-worker through a hard day. Made me angry but at the same time a bit relieved that I had more time to myself.


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## i_feel_broken (Jul 5, 2010)

I think this is a very normal reaction. Since I found out about my wife's EA 8 weeks ago I get waves of anger where I just feel like phoning OM with abuse or going to see him. I want to phone my wife and tell her over and over what she has done to me. Of course none of it will do any good. 

I use exercise a lot to try and bring me out of it and also talking to people, I thought that being the victim of an affair would be so humiliating but I have surprised myself at how willing I am to tell friends and family about it. The reason is because it helps to let all the feelings out.

Also try something new - horse riding, swimming, surfing... anything that will be a welcome change and distraction to your daily routine which allows you time to focus and think too much. I am thinking about ordering a guitar and learning to play, something I have always wanted to do but never found the time.


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## i_feel_broken (Jul 5, 2010)

I also find that although I feel like being on my own that makes it worse, I try and surround myself with people as much as possible


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## synonimous_anonymous (May 31, 2010)

My wife came home 'pleasant' and talking about how moving to a certain area of the country would change things, how it would be farther from work but such a change to our lives that it would be good. She talked about the future, kids etc.

I listened and was confident (Key word there being confident I think). I wanted to pour out who I felt that day but held back. I listened and then went on about my business...(I think I chipped a tooth which kept me distracted for a while).

Again, tomorrow will bring about a new day. Hope it doesn't carry the same emotions as today.


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

> My wife came home 'pleasant' and talking about how moving to a certain area of the country would change things, how it would be farther from work but such a change to our lives that it would be good. She talked about the future, kids etc.


This is why I do not believe she is seriously waiting to exit. I think she is simply very skeptical about any changes at home, and waiting to see if they last. I would also point out that this does not excuse her actions - she still needs to work on herself - but it is hope for your marriage. When a person is talking outside the fog, you get a lot more truth...


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