# Do both of you work outside of the home and raise kids?..



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Do you like working? Do both of you have to work to keep bills paid/support lifestyle? Are you able to balance it? How old are your children?

This is my second go around with parenting if you will. All of my children have grown up in daycare. I just really want to be a SAHM for once in my life! It's really bringing me down.. I notice it  Anyway, I enjoy the moments with my babies so much I want more... lol.. 

Just wondering if others get down about this 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I was AD Army until my oldest was 3.5 years and my youngest was 1.5 years. I didn't notice how much I missed until I was home with them full time LOL.

My H is still AD Army, and he makes a very nice living for us. I am currently using my GI Bill and getting paid to go to college, which is helping us build up our financial portfolio. As soon as the kids went to school full time, so did I. 

When I look back, I realize that the kids really did a lot with daycares and sitters. We were hardly ever home and when we were they were more than likely sleeping. But once I got out and had all day with them, it was very interesting to see the things they would mimic hahaha. (sweeping, picking up, making faces). 

I don't know that I would have gotten out any sooner since my time in the service provides me with my current education benefits, but I think about how different things would have been had I gotten out when the first was born.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Well, my kids are all out of the house now, but yeah, they pretty much grew up in daycare. Although I've been pretty lucky to have an extremely flexible job.

I had no choice when they were little, as I was a single mom. That changed when the youngest was 7, but I have always made more than hubby. There are days I would gladly quit, but all in all I don't mind working. I am the kind of person who would pretty much go nuts having to be at home with little kids all the time. I enjoy them much more now that they're all independent 

That said, if I was starting out now I would seriously consider staying home with them. I know a lot more now than I did then, and I am a proponent of homeschooling, strongly. I also am more settled with myself and I don't think the little kids would drive me nuts like they did 10 or more years ago. I would do a few things differently, and I think staying home with them would be one of those things.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

my wife is a sahm, with all 3 kids in school and they all 3 have been for at least 7 years. pretty sweet deal if you ask me


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

okeydokie said:


> my wife is a sahm, with all 3 kids in school and they all 3 have been for at least 7 years. pretty sweet deal if you ask me


I don't know what I would do with myself LOL. My oldest is autistic and running him to his three therapy's every week after we all get out of school is exhausting, but I would rather be busy than bored.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I am a teacher so I have good hours for mothering.

Kids are 12 and 3. I have holidays and summers off.

We couldn't survive in SoCal without both of us working. Hell no.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

DawnD said:


> I don't know what I would do with myself LOL. My oldest is autistic and running him to his three therapy's every week after we all get out of school is exhausting, but I would rather be busy than bored.


i dont know what mine does with herself either to be honest


----------



## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

okeydokie said:


> i dont know what mine does with herself either to be honest


Do you guys have circumstances preventing her from working or going to school? Or does she just not want to? I am all for it if that is what you guys want, I am just imagining myself trying to do that and losing my ever loving mind.


----------



## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

Both my husband and I work full time, I work 5 days a week, he works anywhere from 5 to 7, depending on the job he is at, he works in construction. We could probably survive on his income, but it makes it a whole lot easier to have 2, and we get to do more, take the kids places.

I have it a little easier because my mom babysits my son, and my daughter if she's off school. I feel ok going to work knowing they are with my mom all day. 

In all honesty, I could not be a STHM. I need to get out of the house and do something, I've always been that way, I have a hard time being in the same place all the time. Plus I love my job, I love going there and the people I work with are amazing.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I could totally be a SAHM. Well, maybe not all the time...But I love my summers to be a SAHM. If I did stay home, I'd still work when the kids were in school.


----------



## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I could totally be a SAHM. Well, maybe not all the time...But I love my summers to be a SAHM. If I did stay home, I'd still work when the kids were in school.


I can make that exception, I could totally be a SAHM in the summer. Winter, that would drive me CRAZY!!!


----------



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> i dont know what mine does with herself either to be honest


I work days, H works midnights and we tag team parent. I would prefer half-time, but at home 24-7 with a toddler and infant would drive me nuts and there is no point when everyone is in school all day. There are only so many loads of laundry you can do in a day and my H is the type to take advantage if I didn't work outside the home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Yes, we both work. Always have. I think I feel just as much responsibility for bringing home a paycheck as my H does - I guess I can thank my parents for instilling in me some kind of work ethic and some kind of uber-independence and always being able to take care of myself if need be. 

My work has allowed us to have some things and do some things that we wouldn't have otherwise been able to.

I have made compromises though - at times working different hours, dropping down to 3/4 time when the kids were really young. My kids are 17 and 8 now.

I don't really regret working, but I definitely have had moments of guilt. I think I would have gone crazy staying home all the time though - especially since we live so far away from family - we don't really have a support network. We had fantastic childcare when the kids were young - I feel very blessed because I know that not everyone has that kind of option.

And now ... my company has half the people telecommuting and working from home remotely and in the last few years I actually work half the time at the office, half time at home. I have been able to manage picking the youngest up everyday after school now and he hardly realizes I even work. 

Hope you can make it work to try being a SAHM, Cherry. I think if it's something you strongly desire, you should go for it.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

DawnD said:


> Do you guys have circumstances preventing her from working or going to school? Or does she just not want to? I am all for it if that is what you guys want, I am just imagining myself trying to do that and losing my ever loving mind.


she can do whatever she wants. apparently, cleaning isnt what she wants


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

DawnD said:


> I was AD Army until my oldest was 3.5 years and my youngest was 1.5 years. I didn't notice how much I missed until I was home with them full time LOL.
> 
> My H is still AD Army, and he makes a very nice living for us. I am currently using my GI Bill and getting paid to go to college, which is helping us build up our financial portfolio. As soon as the kids went to school full time, so did I.
> 
> ...


This was the life I wanted, . I had enlisted fresh out of HS because I didn't know what I wanted to do... Plan was do 4 years, then get out and go to college if I wanted to. Ahhh, nope, didn't work out that way. I didn't make it through boot camp... I had a female medical condition that needed surgery fairly quickly and they gave me a medical discharge with the condition I could reenlist after the surgery. Instead, I ended up in college. 

I love my life now, I just miss being able to spend time with my babies. One day.


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Enchantment said:


> Yes, we both work. Always have. I think I feel just as much responsibility for bringing home a paycheck as my H does - I guess I can thank my parents for instilling in me some kind of work ethic and some kind of uber-independence and always being able to take care of myself if need be.
> 
> My work has allowed us to have some things and do some things that we wouldn't have otherwise been able to.
> 
> ...


I jokingly suggest that I might go crazy being at home all day with two toddlers, but like DawnD, after being at home all weekend alone with them (H might work all weekend), or if we have an extended weekend, after getting used to the chaos of toddlers, I really start enjoying my time with them. They mimic EVERYTHING and they enjoy learning new stuff... It's so fun. They love "helping" around the house, and I love watching them. 

I'm beginning to really think about what we would have to sacrifice if I were to want to stay at home. I don't know.... Maybe my car. I can always buy a new one at a later date, but I can't bring back all these years away from my babies. My oldest is graduating HS this year, and really it still feels like yesterday that I was changing her diaper. She seems well adjusted and happy, and I know she's turned into a great young woman. What does that say? That growing up in daycare isn't so awful? I don't know... I'm so thankful that our twins are in an excellent daycare, that does make this decision seem less crucial at the moment. And the time I do spend with them, I certainly am making the most of it.


----------



## bubbly girl (Oct 11, 2011)

My husband and I both work. He's full time and I work part time...about 25 hrs/wk. I was lucky that I was able to be a SAHM until my youngest was 3. Then I started working a job with a flexible schedule so my kids never had to go to daycare. I started off woking less days when they were younger (just weekends, etc.) then started increasing my days as they got older.

I wouldn't change anything. I'm glad I was able to be home with them full time when they were young, but I love the feeling of contributing financially to our household that I have now.


----------

