# Kicked my husband out and he’s mad



## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

So…. My husband and I were deciding to go to couples counseling and work on things, but tonight I just had it. I snapped, he drove me to the breaking point of lying to me again. May not be a big lie to some, but lying is lying especially with what we went through. Anyways. When I kicked him out, he was calmly okay with me giving him his stuff, taking back the house keys, etc…. He is outside in the driveway because he has nowhere to go. I may want to divorce him, but I’m mad because he is only “angry” that I kicked him out. He doesn’t even care that I blocked him and that my family members will handle him getting his stuff from the house when I’m not there. Hahahhaa he’s just mad. Can someone tell me why his only emotion is anger? Will it get worse? Or does he think that I’m bluffing? I blocked his ass and deleted his number. Soooo I don’t know where he would get we are going to be together.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> So…. My husband and I were deciding to go to couples counseling and work on things, but tonight I just had it. I snapped, he drove me to the breaking point of lying to me again. May not be a big lie to some, but lying is lying especially with what we went through. Anyways. When I kicked him out, he was calmly okay with me giving him his stuff, taking back the house keys, etc…. He is outside in the driveway because he has nowhere to go. I may want to divorce him, but I’m mad because he is only “angry” that I kicked him out. He doesn’t even care that I blocked him and that my family members will handle him getting his stuff from the house when I’m not there. Hahahhaa he’s just mad. Can someone tell me why his only emotion is anger? Will it get worse? Or does he think that I’m bluffing? I blocked his ass and deleted his number. Soooo I don’t know where he would get we are going to be together.


Maybe he's not confident in himself?
My father had intermittent anger issues because he didn't know how to emote any other emotions.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> Maybe he's not confident in himself?
> My father had intermittent anger issues because he didn't know how to emote any other emotions.


This is more like calm anger. Like he doesn’t care I kicked him out. To be honest with me, with his lying about other women, I’m pretty sure he is just mad I 
Just kicked him out and waiting on divorce papers. I’ve never see him act out. Just wondering from a male point of view if that’s truly a sign they’re happy the relationship is over just mad because he has nowhere to go


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> This is more like calm anger. Like he doesn’t care I kicked him out. To be honest with me, with his lying about other women, I’m pretty sure he is just mad I
> Just kicked him out and waiting on divorce papers. I’ve never see him act out. Just wondering from a male point of view if that’s truly a sign they’re happy the relationship is over just mad because he has nowhere to go


Men can be physically uncomfortable and be fine. We can sleep in cars, on porches, or in ditches and we're good. Being fine while being uncomfortable is a male trait. 
It's the divorce papers that might be making him mad, because you may be finally following through on previous threats of divorce that you did not follow through.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> Men can be physically uncomfortable and be fine. We can sleep in cars, on porches, or in ditches and we're good. Being fine while being uncomfortable is a male trait.
> It's the divorce papers that might be making him mad, because you may be finally following through on previous threats of divorce that you did not follow through.


Well I don’t get why he would be mad. This has been a long time coming


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well I don’t get why he would be mad. This has been a long time coming


Men are more dependent upon the wives for social support than the wives are upon the men. You have family and friends to lean for support. A husband's social circle, unless he's particularly gregarious, is you. Now that you're kicking him out, his social support circle is probably very limited. 
He should not have been unfaithful, because losing you is a consequence of that. I'm not feeling sorry for him for considering you when he was unfaithful.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Well I appreciate you saying that. I guess he was just using me all along. I figured a man who loves a women would beg for her back. Not just be angry and leave once he gets all his things.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hasn't he any friends or family he can stay with?


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> So…. My husband and I were deciding to go to couples counseling and work on things, but tonight I just had it. I snapped, he drove me to the breaking point of lying to me again. May not be a big lie to some, but lying is lying especially with what we went through. Anyways. When I kicked him out, he was calmly okay with me giving him his stuff, taking back the house keys, etc…. He is outside in the driveway because he has nowhere to go. I may want to divorce him, but I’m mad because he is only “angry” that I kicked him out. He doesn’t even care that I blocked him and that my family members will handle him getting his stuff from the house when I’m not there. Hahahhaa he’s just mad. Can someone tell me why his only emotion is anger? Will it get worse? Or does he think that I’m bluffing? I blocked his ass and deleted his number. Soooo I don’t know where he would get we are going to be together.


Around how old are both of you ? You don't need to give exact numbers.

How long married?


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> Around how old are both of you ? You don't need to give exact numbers.
> 
> How long married?


Dated 1 year married 2nd then all the lies and being a jerk started. Both 30, not sure if you read my previous forum but that should be enough for you to go on


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Dated 1 year married 2nd then all the lies and being a jerk started. Both 30, not sure if you read my previous forum but that should be enough for you to go on


OK. I just read your other thread. Did you know him prior to dating?


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> OK. I just read your other thread. Did you know him prior to dating?


No. That was my mistake. Mutual friend set us up. I trusted her judgment, she knew him since high school. She was in shock when she found out about all this. She said though when she set us up, she didn’t think we were going to get married…. Nor date, but she’s in shock. Plus he got out of a 7 year relationship, met me, abd was saying I was the one. I had no idea that they just broke up 2-3 months after him meeting me . No clue.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> just mad because he has nowhere to go


Oh, come on. He can always go to one of his love interest's place. He's mad that you aren't going along with his selfishness - you are inconveniencing him.


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> No. That was my mistake. Mutual friend set us up. I trusted her judgment, she knew him since high school. She was in shock when she found out about all this. She said though when she set us up, she didn’t think we were going to get married…. Nor date, but she’s in shock. Plus he got out of a 7 year relationship, met me, abd was saying I was the one. I had no idea that they just broke up 2-3 months after him meeting me . No clue.


TBH the thing that strikes me the most is that his kid was abusing your little 2 year old. At this point I'd get out of this marriage. It's a death trap. Your allegiance needs to be to your child.


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## vincent3 (May 31, 2018)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> but I’m mad because he is only “angry” that I kicked him out.


What do you think the appropriate emotional response would be?

Just so you know, you actually don't have the prerogative to kick him out of the marital home. It's his home too and isn't conditional on your approval. In the case of something like physical abuse, you could ask the court to have him removed. But this nonsense about the fed-up wife having the husband's bags on the porch when he gets home from being out too late is just that: nonsense.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well I appreciate you saying that. I guess he was just using me all along. *I figured a man who loves a women would beg for her back. Not just be angry and leave once he gets all his things.*


Were you hoping for him to respond by begging to get you back?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> This is more like calm anger. Like he doesn’t care I kicked him out. To be honest with me, with his lying about other women, I’m pretty sure he is just mad I
> Just kicked him out and waiting on divorce papers. I’ve never see him act out. Just wondering from a male point of view if that’s truly a sign they’re happy the relationship is over just mad because he has nowhere to go


I don't know if he's ever really felt connected to you emotionally, based on what he's said and done to you and in your relationship, to have a stronger emotional response than basic annoyance at being inconvenienced.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well I appreciate you saying that. I guess he was just using me all along. I figured a man who loves a women would beg for her back. Not just be angry and leave once he gets all his things.


It sounds like you want him back or you want him to suffer? Why do you care so much about his reaction, does it really matter. You are getting rid of someone who has no respect for you and cheated on you.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Oh, come on. He can always go to one of his love interest's place. He's mad that you aren't going along with his selfishness - you are inconveniencing him.


They could be married or have someone else. You never know


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

aine said:


> It sounds like you want him back or you want him to suffer? Why do you care so much about his reaction, does it really matter. You are getting rid of someone who has no respect for you and cheated on you.


 I’m glad it would be easy for you to get rid of someone wish I had your view


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> TBH the thing that strikes me the most is that his kid was abusing your little 2 year old. At this point I'd get out of this marriage. It's a death trap. Your allegiance needs to be to your child.


It is his daughter is gone now. I would never in my life choose my child over a man.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> It is his daughter is gone now. I would never in my life choose my child over a man.


Man over my chikd**** sorry


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> I don't know if he's ever really felt connected to you emotionally, based on what he's said and done to you and in your relationship, to have a stronger emotional response than basic annoyance at being inconvenienced.


At this point I think this is the only way and as far as he can go with loving someone


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

LisaDiane said:


> Were you hoping for him to respond by begging to get you back?


At least something for him to care, but ya know. That didn’t happen. I think he thinks this isn’t going to happen and I’m calling him bluff becsuse he texted me has location as if we are still together. Saying “here is where I am so you believe me” guess he went to his parents


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

vincent3 said:


> What do you think the appropriate emotional response would be?
> 
> Just so you know, you actually don't have the prerogative to kick him out of the marital home. It's home too and isn't conditional on your approval. In the case of something like physical abuse, you could ask the court to have him removed. But this nonsense about the fed-up wife having the husband's bags on the porch when he gets home from being out too late is just that: nonsense.


I own the home he does not. I had it before the marriage.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> At least something for him to care, but ya know. That didn’t happen. I think he thinks this isn’t going to happen and I’m calling him bluff becsuse he texted me has location as if we are still together. Saying “here is where I am so you believe me” guess he went to his parents


Yeah, he clearly doesn't care. I think it could be like your other post said, this is as much as he is capable of feeling for someone else (besides himself)...and it's just NOT enough at all.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> So…. My husband and I were deciding to go to couples counseling and work on things, but tonight I just had it. I snapped, he drove me to the breaking point of lying to me again. May not be a big lie to some, but lying is lying especially with what we went through. Anyways. When I kicked him out, he was calmly okay with me giving him his stuff, taking back the house keys, etc…. He is outside in the driveway because he has nowhere to go. I may want to divorce him, but I’m mad because he is only “angry” that I kicked him out. He doesn’t even care that I blocked him and that my family members will handle him getting his stuff from the house when I’m not there. Hahahhaa he’s just mad. Can someone tell me why his only emotion is anger? Will it get worse? Or does he think that I’m bluffing? I blocked his ass and deleted his number. Soooo I don’t know where he would get we are going to be together.


The fact you threw in a hahahaha he's mad, seems off somehow. Do you thinks it's all funny?


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> The fact you threw in a hahahaha he's mad, seems off somehow. Do you thinks it's all funny?


 Ever hear people laughing out of fear and sadness. Pretty sure it’s that


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Ever hear people laughing out of fear and sadness. Pretty sure it’s that


HIs daughter isn't gone she's just in another state and I'd be worried. If your husband was amazing yeah I could see working with the situation but your husband isn't.

You own a home, you have a child you don't need this guy. IMHO.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> HIs daughter isn't gone she's just in another state and I'd be worried. If your husband was amazing yeah I could see working with the situation but your husband isn't.
> 
> You own a home, you have a child you don't need this guy. IMHO.


No you’re right I don’t need him: guess I just wants the family to be together. I didn’t want my daughter to have separate homes. I’m not bad rapping that at all by the way. My cousins son is a great kid and his parents don’t really speak to each other. 

I understand that his daughter isn’t gone but in another state, I’m assuming you’re afraid he’s going to bring her back at some point in my child’s life?


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> No you’re right I don’t need him: guess I just wants the family to be together. I didn’t want my daughter to have separate homes. I’m not bad rapping that at all by the way. My cousins son is a great kid and his parents don’t really speak to each other.
> 
> I understand that his daughter isn’t gone but in another state, I’m assuming you’re afraid he’s going to bring her back at some point in my child’s life?


You stay around you'll definitively see her again.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> You stay around you'll definitively see her again.


Then that’s the other thing. How do I protect my child?? If we spilt I won’t be there if she’s there


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Then that’s the other thing. How do I protect my child?? If we spilt I won’t be there if she’s there


You're going through a situation too big for an online forum. IMHO.

Get your own therapist and/or lawyer and speak to friends and family in real life. 

You seem like a nice girl. I hope things work out for you.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> This is more like calm anger. Like he doesn’t care I kicked him out. To be honest with me, with his lying about other women, I’m pretty sure he is just mad I
> Just kicked him out and waiting on divorce papers. I’ve never see him act out. Just wondering from a male point of view if that’s truly a sign they’re happy the relationship is over just mad because he has nowhere to go


He is mad because he is not in the drivers seat.
He is at a disadvantage, he has no home, and no belongings, at this point.
He needs to plan and scramble... quickly.

Mad=frustrated.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He forced your patience.
You forced his hand.

Do not relent, continue the divorce, let him eat stale cheese.
I know you hope he will come around, come to his senses.

He already has, senselessly.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I suggest a lawyer.

Though the home may have been yours pre marriage, it may but be unlawful to lock someone out of the marital home.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> At least something for him to care, but ya know. That didn’t happen. I think he thinks this isn’t going to happen and I’m calling him bluff becsuse he texted me has location as if we are still together. Saying “here is where I am so you believe me” guess he went to his parents


Could it be that he knows he's been an ass and so is just withdrawing from the mess he created?


Gabbyabby20 said:


> At least something for him to care, but ya know. That didn’t happen. I think he thinks this isn’t going to happen and I’m calling him bluff becsuse he texted me has location as if we are still together. Saying “here is where I am so you believe me” guess he went to his parents


Legally you can't kick him out of the house since it's his legal residence. He might find that out and try to use that as leverage to get back into the home. You might want to see an attorney ASAP to cover yourself for kicking him out.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well I don’t get why he would be mad. This has been a long time coming


When I asked my now XH for a separation, I had never seen him so mad, and ours was also a long time coming and shouldn't have been a surprise. We had a lot of issues, and I had previously stated to him on numerous occasions how I wanted us to work on them, to BOTH make an effort, that I didn't want us to be a divorce statistic, etc. Really, he should have seen it coming, but he didn't. Why? Because a couple months prior, I had stopped asking him to work with me on our marriage. I had stopped talking about anything important, and focused on menial things. I think he thought that I'd stopped "complaining", and was finally happy with status quo. Really, I was formulating an exit plan because I was tired of holding a marriage together by myself. So, while to me, he shouldn't have been surprised at all, to him, it was a kick in the balls. 

Men and women communicate differently is all, and you will never ever understand why he's mad right now, just like he'll never ever understand why you seemingly suddenly took action.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> Could it be that he knows he's been an ass and so is just withdrawing from the mess he created?
> 
> Legally you can't kick him out of the house since it's his legal residence. He might find that out and try to use that as leverage to get back into the home. You might want to see an attorney ASAP to cover yourself for kicking him out.


Most assuredly if his name is on the mortgage or if rental the lease, all he has to do is call the cops and they will escort him back inside.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Most assuredly if his name is on the mortgage or if rental the lease, all he has to do is call the cops and they will escort him back inside.


That's right. Here where I live, even if he just gets mail at that address, it's his legal residence.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well I appreciate you saying that. I guess he was just using me all along. I figured a man who loves a women would beg for her back. Not just be angry and leave once he gets all his things.


Is that what you were hoping? Because in reality, that isn't pretty and should just make you lose more respect for him. He's mad because now he has nowhere to go. He probably figures he's coming back in, too.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Could it be that he knows he's been an ass and so is just withdrawing from the mess he created?
> 
> Legally you can't kick him out of the house since it's his legal residence. He might find that out and try to use that as leverage to get back into the home. You might want to see an attorney ASAP to cover yourself for kicking him out.


If he wants to come back in so be it, but it looks like he’s totally okay now not being here


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Is that what you were hoping? Because in reality, that isn't pretty and should just make you lose more respect for him. He's mad because now he has nowhere to go. He probably figures he's coming back in, too.


Well he is staying away because I told him if he is coming back in it won’t be pretty and our daughter doesn’t deserve to hear arguing (she doesnt) so when we both cool off then we can talk; but I am not cooling off any time soon. Im sick of all this


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Of course he’s mad, you kicked him out. (Not sure why he would allow that and compliantly give you his keys, but that’s beside the point).

So either you overreacted and need to figure out how to de-escalate the situation and talk - 

or you were correct in throwing him out and need to be done with him. 
In which case, who cares if he’s mad or not, or why? If you’re done, you’re done, move on.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> That's right. Here where I live, even if he just gets mail at that address, it's his legal residence.


. I did find out in my county that if someone was kicked out and the conversation has been heated they want a break wether it being in a car or garage. There is no tolerance for fights so if/when he comes back and if we start fighting again he will have to leave since my name is only on the house but he will be able to come back the next day.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Well he is staying away because I told him if he is coming back in it won’t be pretty and our daughter doesn’t deserve to hear arguing (she doesnt) so when we both cool off then we can talk; but I am not cooling off any time soon. Im sick of all this


Your daughter also doesn't need to see him sleeping in his car in the driveway. I believe I'd explain that to him.


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## Gabbyabby20 (Nov 19, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> You're going through a situation too big for an online forum. IMHO.
> 
> Get your own therapist and/or lawyer and speak to friends and family in real life.
> 
> You seem like a nice girl. I hope things work out for you.


Thank you. I don’t tell friends and family because they get too involved. I don’t want that. If we divorce I don’t want a battle with family involved. They will make me feel like I need to do certain things and the choices will feel like they’re not mine. I have a therapist, she thinks he’s overwhelmed, but that’s not an excuse for anything. He also has a therapist, she apparently told him me being upset over this is minor lol yeah okay….


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> . I did find out in my county that if someone was kicked out and the conversation has been heated they want a break wether it being in a car or garage. There is no tolerance for fights so if/when he comes back and if we start fighting again he will have to leave since my name is only on the house but he will be able to come back the next day.


Doubtful. You are married and that's his residence.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> Thank you. I don’t tell friends and family because they get too involved. I don’t want that. If we divorce I don’t want a battle with family involved. They will make me feel like I need to do certain things and the choices will feel like they’re not mine. I have a therapist, she thinks he’s overwhelmed, but that’s not an excuse for anything. He also has a therapist, she apparently told him me being upset over this is minor lol yeah okay….


Family will be knowledgeable and in the loop regardless of what you want. Best you keep at least some family in the loop, and share truths with them before someone starts an untruthful rumor.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Gabbyabby20 said:


> if/when he comes back and if we start fighting again he will have to leave since my name is only on the house but he will be able to come back the next day.


This makes no sense on so many levels, it cannot possibly be true.


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