# Question for the ladies



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I'm going through the beginning stages of a divorce from my wife, been with her for 11 years. This was her call, got the whole "I love you but don't love you." The last three months our sex life was amazing, trying new things, increasing our frequency.

Including my wife I had only been with 3 women. I was always a little insecure of my size "down there", my wife always made me feel that I was great enough for her.

I'm months and months away from even thinking of dating another women, probably years. But I feel insecure of being naked again in front of another woman, how she will compare me to others.

How can I get over this feeling?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

First, get through your divorce. You are still grieving and it's very traumatic for you since it was her decision.

Regarding being naked with someone...when you cross that bridge, just go with it. 

Everyone always feels weird about the first time being naked with someone. It's natural.

Worrying about something like this is a waste of time.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

It's also traumatic because I felt my wife and I were taking our relationship to a new level, trying different things, increasing the frequency, even buying her an outfit. Then whammo! It's frustrating because we went from just every so often, to two to three times a week. Now this?


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

You meet a lovely woman. She's smart, funny, caring, and a great match for you. Are you going to complain because her breast size is not DD? It is the same for women. When we fall in love, we love all of you. We don't complain about size.

There are a few women who do think that size matters. If you run into one of these, they will not date you again, and you can write them off with no hard feelings.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> It's also traumatic because I felt my wife and I were taking our relationship to a new level, trying different things, increasing the frequency, even buying her an outfit. Then whammo! It's frustrating because we went from just every so often, to two to three times a week. Now this?


The thing about life is that there are simply no guarantees. So while you may have thought things were great, apparently she did not think so. 

She has done you a favor by letting go of the marriage. I know you can't see that now, but in time, you WILL. Promise. 

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Not in a one-sided marriage.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I also worry because I have two young children, I will be paying child support (as any father should), so I worry about my financial situation as well. You are right everyone tells me that I deserve to be with someone who is going to love me. My wife dropped about 60 lbs over the last two years, I think she started to get used to the attention of other men as well. It's a shame she couldn't make the positive change within the confines of our relationship.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

From your PM to me, I can guess that her EA was why the sex was sooo awesome the last 3 months. She wasn't doing it with him, so she did it with you.

Sucks. Be strong and start the 180.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I guess I feel so naive for not even thinking that (maybe it was because I didn't want to think about that). I hate how this is her decision but I'm the one that feels it's my fault. Like I have some character flaw. That's the cruel irony.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Just get some therapy, Proud. Acknowledge your half of the problems as well as hers. Work on you, and don't repeat bad/damaging behaviors in the future.

That way, when you do get nekkid with someone again, it will be TRES awesome 

Hi, TG!


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Another tough thing is I throughly miss the companionship with my stbx. Right before I moved out I expressed this to her, that I miss being with her, and her reply was "it's not like you won't have sex again." I was taken aback because I told her it wasn't just the sex, it was the complete feeling of security with her that made me enjoy this even more.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

When you and your new love interest come to that point it will not matter to her how big you are. If you are in love and give yourselves to each other its all about being together and going slow to enjoy every moment. You would have to be pretty shallow for that to be any kind of an issue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

If there is a bright side, I've lost roughly 28 lbs in the last 7 weeks due to everything happening. I've taken the initiative to keep it off, walking all the time, push ups, sit ups. I've had numerous people tell me how much weight it looks like I've lost. I have to buy new clothes now because all my pants are falling off.


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