# the truth finally came out



## wifey32

I've been posting a few threads about men and porn, men's ideal body, etc. the reason is because i recently found out my husband has been watching a ton of porn and naked clips all specific to women with very very large boobs. i told him i felt like i should get implants so i could look somewhat like the women he seems to be physically attracted to. he did not argue when i mentioned this. the other day i asked him if he could please tell me if there is anything missing from our sex life that I'm not doing to please him or that he needs from me. he said no, just what we already talked about. at first i wasn't sure what he meant. i asked him and he said "you know that we're going to save money and you're going to get your boobs done" so i said so the only thing that's missing is that my boobs aren't big enough? and he said yes. I guess I already knew this but it was different hearing it coming from his own mouth. Now I am not sure if i should get the implants or consider separation with hopes of possibly finding someone in the future who is truly happy with me the way i am.


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## that_girl

Ew. Tell him to get the boob job.


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## Po12345

Be careful, from reading some of your other threads I think you are looking to appease him. Bigger boobs should not be the deciding factor on whether a marriage is good or not, there is more to this and he isn't being 100% forthcoming. Unless you actually want a bigger cup size (and the back aches that go with it) do NOT go through with it. Trust me, there is a bigger problem here than just bigger breasts.

I've used porn too much in the past, for me the use of porn was as a stress reliever and because I was lazy, I didn't feel like doing the work to get my wife in the mood. Now I realize there is far more reward to do just that, or if I want to, I take care of myself with her right there.


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## Maricha75

Question...do YOU want to get them done? Or, would you ONLY be getting it to please him? If the former, then go for it. If the latter, then don't. Don't alter yourself for anyone but YOURSELF.


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## Hope1964

You really have to ask???

Any man that would neglect his wife for porn stars with bigger boobs and have the gall to tell her she has to therefore get a boob job or he isn't attracted to her deserves to have his misguided ass thrown into a sling and be shot into a pile of pure BS. What a piece of work.


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## MattMatt

I like big breasts. Would I want my wife to have an operation to have bigger breasts? NO! I would not want her to take the risk of an unnecessary operation. Because I love my wife.

Tell you what, tell your husband you'll have the operation when he has the operation to enlarge his penis.


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## lamaga

Do NOT have this surgery!

That's really all I have to say. Sheesh.


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## wifey32

Maricha75 said:


> Question...do YOU want to get them done? Or, would you ONLY be getting it to please him? If the former, then go for it. If the latter, then don't. Don't alter yourself for anyone but YOURSELF.


to answer this question, I feel like I would do ANYTHING to make him happy. I know I probably sound completely desperate. honestly, before this incident, i thought i looked pretty good. i'm not small chested and was pretty pleased with what i have. the thought of having surgery is a little scary, but the scariest thing is thinking i would do that and still it might not be enough. the girl who he seems to have the biggest "thing" for is Leanne Crow. i don't know if any of you have seen her, but i don't think i even have enough room to accommodate implants that big! i think if i do it for him, i might end up having the same insecurities i'm having now. wondering are they big enough? probably what i should really do is try to be happy with myself but this is easier said than done. I have always had some insecurity issues and they have just been brought out alot by this recent discovery. does anyone have any suggestions maybe books or online reading that may be helpful for me to build up my self confidence a little?


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## MattMatt

wifey32 said:


> i'm not small chested and was pretty pleased with what i have.


So would a man be pleased with what you have. A real man, that is...

I do not think you should have the operation.


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## Tigerman

No, nyet, nein, nej, nao, non, uh-uh


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## lamaga

"to answer this question, I feel like I would do ANYTHING to make him happy."

Oh, honey. The minute you say that sentence is the minute that you acknowledge that you are completely effed up. 

What is he doing to make YOU happy?


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## wifey32

lamaga said:


> "to answer this question, I feel like I would do ANYTHING to make him happy."
> 
> Oh, honey. The minute you say that sentence is the minute that you acknowledge that you are completely effed up.
> 
> What is he doing to make YOU happy?


sadly, i have to aknowledge that you are probably right. I think i have some self worth and self acceptance issues i need to work on. if you have any advise on how i could get some "self help" i would gladly accept any suggestions


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## lamaga

Well, first I would suggest some individual counseling -- can you do that? Does your insurance cover it? If not, you could try googling "pro bono counseling" for your city. Or if you are active in a church, see if they offer pastoral counseling.

You clearly have some self worth issues, and they are more than we can deal with here. I hope you will take care of yourself. Really. You are worth so much more than you think. xox


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## wifey32

lamaga said:


> Well, first I would suggest some individual counseling -- can you do that? Does your insurance cover it? If not, you could try googling "pro bono counseling" for your city. Or if you are active in a church, see if they offer pastoral counseling.
> 
> You clearly have some self worth issues, and they are more than we can deal with here. I hope you will take care of yourself. Really. You are worth so much more than you think. xox


thanks. i appreciate the advise and will be looking into those options. It's getting really exhausting beating myself up over something I have no control over...


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## Complexity

Never carve up your body to please another man. These things are irreversible. What if he decides to dump you and all the other guys you meet will see you as a freak? It's simply not worth it. If your relationship reaches a stage where your husband demands you surgically alter yourself to look like pornstars, the problem most certainly lies with him, not you. He has nothing to lose from this.


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## lamaga

wifey32 said:


> thanks. i appreciate the advise and will be looking into those options. It's getting really exhausting beating myself up over something I have no control over...


It's okay, honey -- you are far from the first woman confronting this, and you will not be the last. But please do take care of yourself, and the first step? Even before you get a counselor?

Stop beating yourself up. You are who you are. If he loved you, he'd love all of you. Stop beating yourself up because you do not fit some porn goddess image in his head.

Stop beating yourself up.

Really. Print that out and tape it to your mirror. Stop beating yourself up, honey.


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## Maricha75

wifey32 said:


> to answer this question, I feel like I would do ANYTHING to make him happy. I know I probably sound completely desperate. honestly, before this incident, i thought i looked pretty good. i'm not small chested and was pretty pleased with what i have. the thought of having surgery is a little scary, but the scariest thing is thinking i would do that and still it might not be enough. the girl who he seems to have the biggest "thing" for is Leanne Crow. i don't know if any of you have seen her, but i don't think i even have enough room to accommodate implants that big! i think if i do it for him, i might end up having the same insecurities i'm having now. wondering are they big enough? probably what i should really do is try to be happy with myself but this is easier said than done. I have always had some insecurity issues and they have just been brought out alot by this recent discovery. does anyone have any suggestions maybe books or online reading that may be helpful for me to build up my self confidence a little?


Honey, because I had never heard of her before, I looked her up. I will admit that. Girl... don't. It is NOT worth the backache. Mine are NATURALLY her size, or a bit bigger. It HURTS my back. It HURTS my shoulders. I know others have said don't do it. I agree with them. a G cup is NOT worth the hassle to keep a "man" interested. If he loves you, he loves ALL of you. He won't ask you to alter your appearance in this way to suit his WHIMS. Do not, I repeat, do NOT let your life revolve around him. It's not healthy. As Lamaga, I think, suggested, see if you can find a counselor to talk to. Please.


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## the guy

So once you get the big boobs and his fetish shifts to bondage, are you going to walk around in a dog collar.......wait don't answer that, sorry I brough it up.... I have to go....good luck....


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## Mistys dad

Tell him you'll add one cup size for every 2" of d!ck he has put on.

He goes first.


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## La Rose Noire

Your husband is a douche.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GhostRydr

Boy are you gonna be surprised if once you get a boob job he is still gonna look at porn....if you are determined to do this, please dont delude yourself that you are now "enough" for him and he should have no reason to watch porn...


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## one_strange_otter

I'm thinking it isn't going to be as much fun when every guy they walk past in the mall, movies, restaurants, church, school, work, park, tollbooth, post office, grocery store, walmart, drive-thru, truckers on the highway, rest stops, vacations, beach, hotel, pool and wherever else you might go all stop and stare at your chest. I wonder if he's ready to defend you constantly from all those wandering eyes and snarky grins. Then, when he only loves you for your boobs, how long before someone comes up and starts to appreciate the rest of you and you start appreciating them more than your husband? Give him the ultimatum to cut out the porn for at least a month or more and see if it doesn't get better. Has he ever even seen G-cups in real life? It's all fantasy on tv for right now but try sleeping with those next to you or constantly getting in the way of even the simplest things like opening a door without banging your tits....


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## JoeRockStar

lamaga said:


> Do NOT have this surgery!
> 
> That's really all I have to say. Sheesh.


Seriously this ^^. I would never ask a woman to go under the knife for me. As others have said, if it were something YOU wanted to do for YOUR personal reasons, that would be different.


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## Paulination

If you want them, do it. If you are just considering it for him then don't. Tell him you wish he had a bigger wiener and ask him what he plans on doing about that.


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## Caribbean Man

Wifey I have read all of your posts,and I knew there was something behind it.
But I think you have got great advice here on this thread!
His porn addiction has nothing to do with you.
Like I said in response to your initial question on husbands and porn,men with such addictions live in a fantasy world.
Even if you went and got implants,he will still be addicted to porn.


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## jlock111

My wife always wanted implants since before we met, naturally I/we both enjoy it but I was happy with her before implants. The fact is the choice was hers to make and hers alone, because it is her body not mine if you think it will make you happy do it for you if you have any doubt at all don't do it. And screw him!


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## Zatol Ugot?

wifey32 said:


> the girl who he seems to have the biggest "thing" for is Leanne Crow.


HOLY CRAP! 

I too had never heard of this woman so I did a quick Google search. Really? You're husband wants you to go to that? Please do not think that you getting this boob job will mean that he will stop looking at porn. HE WILL NOT STOP! And after the novelty of your new chest has worn off, he will look for something else to have you change. 

I am a man that likes large breasts and I can't say that Ms. Crow does nothing for me, but for a man like your husband to be so selfish and to come right out and say that things would be perfect if only you were larger up top is Bull****.


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## donny64

WOMEN...A TIP! Do NOT have plastic surgery done to please your husband. You'll resent it, and ultimately regret it. It should be done FOR YOU if you want that, but NEVER for a man. 

My W is a size D or DD depending on her weight or a particular bra. I LOVE size B's / C's, and big boobs have always been a turn off for me. But, I've grown to love my wife's boobs. 

A while back she mentioned that she was thinking about having breast reduction surgery. I asked why. No, it was not back pain or shoulder pain, but rather she just used to love her smaller, perikier boobs. I'm staying covert and digging for info. If I'm convinced she's doing it for her and to make herself feel better in general, then I'm all for it. If I find out she's doing it for me, or to make herself feel better about my desire for her, she's gonna get a SERIOUS talking to, and she'll lose my support for her over the procedure.

The tummy tuck she desires is a no brainer. I love her belly (and everything about her), but she is constantly complaining about it. I can see it wears on her, and she feels "fat". I promise you she's anything but that. However, I see how it affects her. She has my full support because I know she's doing that for herself.


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## Phenix70

donny64 said:


> WOMEN...A TIP! Do NOT have plastic surgery done to please your husband. You'll resent it, and ultimately regret it. It should be done FOR YOU if you want that, but NEVER for a man.
> 
> My W is a size D or DD depending on her weight or a particular bra. I LOVE size B's / C's, and big boobs have always been a turn off for me. But, I've grown to love my wife's boobs.
> 
> A while back she mentioned that she was thinking about having breast reduction surgery. I asked why. No, it was not back pain or shoulder pain, but rather she just used to love her smaller, perikier boobs. I'm staying covert and digging for info. If I'm convinced she's doing it for her and to make herself feel better in general, then I'm all for it. If I find out she's doing it for me, or to make herself feel better about my desire for her, she's gonna get a SERIOUS talking to, and she'll lose my support for her over the procedure.
> 
> The tummy tuck she desires is a no brainer. I love her belly (and everything about her), but she is constantly complaining about it. I can see it wears on her, and she feels "fat". I promise you she's anything but that. However, I see how it affects her. She has my full support because I know she's doing that for herself.


Nice post, your wife is one lucky woman, if she does get the surgery, I too hope it's only for herself. 

To the OP,
We all want to do things to please our SO's, the difference is the maojority of us wouldn't alter our appearances as drastically as you're thinking of.
Once it's the boob job, next it's something else, now is the time to draw your line in the sand & say "no!"
It's your body, the thought of another person wanting you to surgically alter it for their own sexual pleasure is disturbing at best.
I'm all for staying fit to keep the attraction level up in a relationship, but surgically altering your body to appease another's fetish is hurtful to not only your self esteem but also relationship.
Should you get the surgery, your H would then know that there would be no limit to what you would do to keep him.
Use your own imagination as to what those things would be.


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## Starstarfish

Part of what also isn't mentioned here is whether or not you have or some day might want children. 

If you do, and either stay with your husband or do indeed separate from him, getting a "boob job" in an attempt to placate his porn-driven sex desires, might indeed permanently take from you your chance to successfully breastfeed your children. Which - might be a decision you are unsure about until they are here. But - once it is done, it is done. 

Also - this is the time to draw the line, as otherwise, what if he demands other surgeries to please him? What about a "tightening" surgery on your - well, you know, or - anything else his latest porn fetish kicks up?

I'd go with others suggestion that you try some individual counseling to work on your self-esteem so that you understand you are a beautiful, worth-filled, wonderful woman. Don't change that for a man who doesn't appreciate you, as you might deeply regret it, and resent yourself later for doing it. 

Afterwards, I might suggest some kind of couples or sex therapy.


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## EngagedGraduate

Leanne Crow is disgusting! Holy ****! If anyone should get an operation, clearly your husband needs cataract treatment, or a lobotomy. Gross. Do not do that to yourself, girl.


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## tacoma

Leanne Crow
Do not run an image search on that name.

Jesus, why would a woman choose to look like that?

Don`t even consider doing that to yourself.


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## Lon

Didn't read this whole thread, and don't know the specifics of your H, but from my own experience I had a secret porn obsession I kept secret from my ex W at the beginning of our relationship. For me one season it may have been big boobs, the next it was probaby tight jeans or something silly... I also never associated my porn viewing with my W's body image, she was sexy in her own way and even though she was not my ideal I loved every bit of her body and would never have wanted her to change for anyone but herself. my porn habit was very compartmentalized, its not until she found out and I saw the look of betrayal that the barrier broke down and I had very little struggle giving up the porn.


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## Goldmember357

Complexity said:


> Never carve up your body to please another man. These things are irreversible. What if he decides to dump you and all the other guys you meet will see you as a freak? It's simply not worth it. If your relationship reaches a stage where your husband demands you surgically alter yourself to look like pornstars, the problem most certainly lies with him, not you. He has nothing to lose from this.


she made a bad choice in a husband imo

i feel her husband has many character flaws but i do not want to post a long post and come off as a major nerd in trying to explain what i feel the problems are and what is wrong with carving up your body for someone. 

I will leave it at this LEAVE HIM OR DONT DO IT


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## Oddjob

Leanne is all natural. So even with implants, you'll never compare. But you probably should get them. Then you can at least sort of keep your man happy, but leanne will always be number one.


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## joannacroc

It sounds like on reflection you have answered your own question. It's not for you. So don't do it. If we were talking about working out more often or contemplating changing your hair color a bit that would be different. But cosmetic surgery is permanent and entails a lot of risk. It is hella expensive. Perhaps more importantly, it can't fix low self esteem. What I suspect plays a part in your low self esteem at the moment is your husband encouraging you to look different than you currently do. 

My STBXH had a fetish for similarly HUGE breasts. Like you, I am not particularly small breasted either (a D cup on my frame doesn't look that big proportionally). But it still wasn't enough, clearly. Maybe it's a symptom of bigger and better syndrome. Who knows. Honestly, I have no problem with masturbation for men or women, but it was a huge turnoff for me, and it damaged our marriage.

Can I suggest you start IC for you both and MC? He seems like he has something else troubling him if he is pressuring you to have surgery. You need IC to work on your self esteem issues resulting partly perhaps from your husband's behavior. And once you guys have both started IC, MC can be a safe place to talk about what's really going on underneath all of this surgery talk. There's a distance between you. And it seems you have taken it upon yourself to be the only one to reach out and try to bridge that distance. Why is that?


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## RandomDude

Complexity said:


> Never carve up your body to please another man. These things are irreversible. What if he decides to dump you and all the other guys you meet will see you as a freak?


Agreed, I for one, only go for natural breasts, I don't care about size as long as its got its shape.

Fake tits are a huge turn off. Even in porn when I see them I skip next video.


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## GusPolinski

Zombie thread from 2012.


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