# If a man lies about money.....



## wishiwereaman (Dec 27, 2015)

will he lie about anything? 

Example: Married almost 18 years, 4 children, I have always worked for Fortune 100 companies and he started his own business that I have helped with over the years. He has been in business 13 years, I have a MBA but recently quit my job to go to get an advanced nursing degree. We had a bunch of money in the bank from my job. However, in 2013 he had to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy that I helped him with administratively and financially. He had two large contractors that did not pay him back to back. He almost has most of his debts paid back. 

I know stuff likes this happens and have bailed him out when possible. I will still get pension when I retire but my 401k is crushed and I will need to work long hard hours to make it up. Now to the lying- I keep finding him taking high risk/ high interest loans to help with cash flow. I stumble upon them when I occasionally look at his books. His business does about 2-3 million a year and he should be able to manage it. I am tired of the lies about these loans and he will intentionally code them different things so they are hidden in the books from me. 

Recently, he was acting super suspicious and I asked to look at what he was doing on his phone. He said that nothing was up. After I continued to ***** he said that he didn't want me to see emails about a loan he took. I checked his email online and there were no emails about it. He has lost some weight, bought new clothes, gone on testosterone for low T, very critical of me, cuts me out of the children's lives because he is the easy one and he lets them do things that I would not and doesn't tell me. The big thing is, I think he is cheating. He says that he is not and he doesn't intentionally cut me out of things. 

Bottom line....if a man will lie about money, will he lie about anything? We are having major problems, I feel taken advantage of, can't let myself have sex with him because I need to feel like we are a team and partners. I can't let myself connect emotionally by having sex which used to be one of my favorite things. His critiquing and lying to me just breaks my heart. I am just getting angrier and lonelier as time passes. I think I am being a fool. I have told him all this and made him leave for a few days. I let him back home after he said he would no longer lie about things that affect my future or my health -like affairs. He did say that he can't promise that he will never lie to me, again or won't want me to find out things. What does that mean??


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If a person will lie about something big like your husband is doing, he will lie about anything that suits him.

If I were you I'd stop gripping and b!tching and start watching to find out what's going on. You need to start doing some snooping. If you find any evidence of cheating, do not confront him until you have a well though out plan. So come here with the evidence and we can help you determine if it is enough evidence and how to go forward.

What snooping have you done so far?


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

That wouldn't sit well with me, being told he can't promise he won't lie in the future. A partner should be transparent to their spouse. It's a partnership and together you must work to strengthen the marriage. Sure, the truth can hurt but you can fix issues and turn things around if both are honest in doing so. 

I would ask him, what does he mean that he can't promise not to lie in the future?


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Trust me on this: Money is the root of all evil. 

I am in the midst if divorcing an idiot after 33 years that is a liar and who lives and breaths money. Money is his security. It did/has consumed him. 

*He lies about money and lies to get money and lies to keep money.*


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

The answer to your question is "Yes".

The good news is that he is "honest" (stupid) enough to tell you that he can't promise not to lie to you again.

So even if he isn't cheating, you should get rid of him. Who wants to live with a liar?


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## wishiwereaman (Dec 27, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> If a person will lie about something big like your husband is doing, he will lie about anything that suits him.
> 
> If I were you I'd stop gripping and b!tching and start watching to find out what's going on. You need to start doing some snooping. If you find any evidence of cheating, do not confront him until you have a well though out plan. So come here with the evidence and we can help you determine if it is enough evidence and how to go forward.
> 
> What snooping have you done so far?


Thanks. I looked up a number that calls him and he calls. I tried to friend the woman on FB as we have friends in common and got no response. She is his age (I am five years older), athletic, single, and his type. I don't know what else to look for. Money lies I can find but have no idea how to investigate for an affair. I will say that when I did have sex with him it smelled different. He just doesn't smell the same.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

Yes


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wishiwereaman said:


> Thanks. I looked up a number that calls him and he calls. I tried to friend the woman on FB as we have friends in common and got no response. She is his age (I am five years older), athletic, single, and his type. I don't know what else to look for. Money lies I can find but have no idea how to investigate for an affair. I will say that when I did have sex with him it smelled different. He just doesn't smell the same.


Do not try to contact her anymore right now. That will diver them underground.

Here this thread might help you:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html#post9756666

If I were in your shoes I'd start with 4 things.

1) Get copies of the phone bills going back at least 6 months and see who is he talking to a lot. You say that you know of one woman. See how far back that goes. How many calls/texts a day/week/month with her and any other number that is real high contact.

2)I'd put a key logger on any computer he uses at home. That way I could see who he is communicating with and could see the actual conversations. Plus I it will capture he passwords to sites as he types them in. Then I could get on the sites and see what he's up to, read messages, etc.

3) Find out how to download all messages off his cell phone, even deleted ones. And then I'd do that.

4) Get two VARs (voice activated recorder) and put one in his car, secured to the underside of the driver seat with adhesive back Velcro. Then every day or so, I'd swap out the VARs.. .put the unused one in the car and take the other one to listen to. Most people who cheat use their car as a private phone booth because they think that no one can hear them.

But that's me. Just saying...


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I don't understand, how is this "man" related aside from the fact that he is your husband? Your title and posts come across that a man who lies about money will lie about anything. Does that mean a woman who lies about money this does not apply to  Sorry, just seems like gender baiting ...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

wishiwereaman said:


> Thanks. I looked up a number that calls him and he calls. I tried to friend the woman on FB as we have friends in common and got no response. She is his age (I am five years older), athletic, single, and his type. I don't know what else to look for. Money lies I can find but have no idea how to investigate for an affair. I will say that when I did have sex with him it smelled different. He just doesn't smell the same.


*Well for starters, you can check your cell phone statements for more-than-frequently called or texted phone numbers that appear somewhat strange to you! If that is truly the case, there is a plethora of ways to look them up to see who they rightfully belong to and where it is that they reside!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Do you have proof that he didn't get paid and that's why he had all these money problems?

Because part of that makes no sense to me. If you do work and are under contract and the other party doesn't pay you ... you sue them, you don't file bankruptcy. I'd be worried about him hiding the books not just for the sake of your marriage, but that sounds like an IRS audit or some other legal hell waiting to happen if he's doing something he shouldn't be. And honestly, it kind of sounds like it. 

Looking great, cutting you out of things, has loans he doesn't want you to know about? This whole thing sounds sketchy and honestly, I'd really consider calling a lawyer. 

He told you right to your face he's planning on lying to you. Whenever he feels like. Sounds like time for some MC or fell some forensic accounting. This whole thing sounds super sketchy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't understand, how is this "man" related aside from the fact that he is your husband? Your title and posts come across that a man who lies about money will lie about anything. Does that mean a woman who lies about money this does not apply to  Sorry, just seems like gender baiting ...


She is talking about her husband to lied about big sums of money to the point of him draining her finances (401K, etc). That's not small lying. And yes a woman who would lie to her husband about money to that magnitude would probably lie about anything when she feels its in her best interest.

There is no gender baiting. The OP is married to a man, so naturally she's asking about a man.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Liars lie. And not just about what they had for breakfast or who they did for breakfast. Liars lie about everything.

So why did you choose the name 'wishiwereaman'?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Worried about if he lies and if he is cheating? I would be more worried about where the heck all of your money went? 

Sh!t, I would get an attorney file for divorce and ask for a financial audit of his business. 

Do you have canceled checks from when you gave him money for his business? You might want to put them someplace safe.

Something is seriously wronged here. He must be a awful business man. WTF.........

Reread Eligirl's post and follow it.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Financial Infidelity.

It is as destructive to a marriage as Sexual or Emotional Infidelity.

You now know about the FI. I found my husband was also doing that, while he was also lying about other areas as well.

You have to tell your husband that he has used up all his wild cards, because he has abused them. Let him know that if (when) you find out he has lied again about finances, even something little, you are done with him. No more financial decisions can be made independently, without your full consent, because all financial decisions end up affecting you (not just him.)

Start now to separate your finances from him, so he knows you are serious. Open a bank account in your name only if you don't already have one. Begin to change what you can, and take his name off anything that is joint, or take your name off. Let him know that you are serious, and that you will be ready to move on without him if he deceives you again.

If you D, all your*debts* as well as assets will be considered joint, if they fall under certain conditions. This could ruin you financially. When my lawyer told me about the debt part, it scared the heck out of me, since my H tended to let debt grow more than once in our M, while he was shuttling money around from credit card to credit card, while also buying losing stocks without my knowledge. His behavior seemed like he was a gambler, and it had to stop or we were done.

Speak to a lawyer to learn about how finances are handled in the case of a D. He will advise you on how to protect yourself. If you read and post here enough, you could get the same advice for free. 

Just because you speak with a lawyer doesn't mean you have to D. It gives you perspective and a plan to protect yourself. It will help take away some fear and sense of lack of control over your finances. It will also let your husband know that you are serious and are not afraid of doing what you have to do should he refuse to become of one mind with you regarding your finances.

What you are experiencing is very real. It can be stopped, but it is entirely up to him, and you have to be serious about protecting yourself from his dangerous financial blindness/abuse.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this, but glad that you are here. Many people on TAM have experienced what you are going through.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't understand, how is this "man" related aside from the fact that he is your husband? Your title and posts come across that a man who lies about money will lie about anything. Does that mean a woman who lies about money this does not apply to  Sorry, just seems like gender baiting ...


Her husband, a man, is the one lying to her. She is not married to a woman. Hence the title and her concern. No gender baiting going on. Just someone (you) being oversensitive and trying to change the subject.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> EllisRedding said:
> 
> 
> > I don't understand, how is this "man" related aside from the fact that he is your husband? Your title and posts come across that a man who lies about money will lie about anything. Does that mean a woman who lies about money this does not apply to
> ...


So state "If my husband lied about money". Stating "If a man ..." it sounds like a broad stroke is being applied to all men. 

Not discounting her issues/concerns, just how it reads. We can agree to disagree on this, won't be the first time


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> She is talking about her husband to lied about big sums of money to the point of him draining her finances (401K, etc). That's not small lying. And yes a woman who would lie to her husband about money to that magnitude would probably lie about anything when she feels its in her best interest.
> 
> There is no gender baiting. The OP is married to a man, so naturally she's asking about a man.


A thread tltled "If a man lies about money" created by a poster named "wishiwereaman"? And you're instantly defending rather than waiting to see what comes next?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Or it could be a guy married to another guy. Who is draining the finances. So OP is a guy married to a lying, thieving etc husband.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

brooklynAnn said:


> Or it could be a guy married to another guy. Who is draining the finances. So OP is a guy married to a lying, thieving etc husband.


Lol. Except then OP's name would be "gladtobeaman" or "hate-i'maman" rather than "wishiwereaman".


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> So state "If my husband lied about money". Stating "If a man ..." it sounds like a broad stroke is being applied to all men.
> 
> Not discounting her issues/concerns, just how it reads. We can agree to disagree on this, won't be the first time


My bet is that the OP does not realize that many posters on TAM are hypersensitive to gender things. So she did not realize that she had to word her post ever so carefully as to not offend you. But she now knows and hopefully will be very careful to take your suggestion.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> So state "If my husband lied about money". Stating "If a man ..." it sounds like a broad stroke is being applied to all men.
> 
> Not discounting her issues/concerns, just how it reads. We can agree to disagree on this, won't be the first time


I'm certainly not known for my insensitivity to slights against men, but this seems a bit over the top to me.

Her question seems logically equivalent to "Is a man who lies about money likely to lie about other things?", which I can't see any reasonable objection to.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

wishiwereaman,

Why do you wish you were a man?


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## wishiwereaman (Dec 27, 2015)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> wishiwereaman,
> 
> Why do you wish you were a man?


This is not a gender thing. I am just married to a man. I wish I were a man so that my emotions were not so involved in decision making. I am a woman and don't always see clearly. I let my emotions guide me sometimes to a default. For 18 years I keep thinking I am just judging and my roll is to help him be the best person he can be. That is why I am on the man board. I am looking for some sound advice. There are some great women that can help as well and I appreciate there advice. I could easily wish to be a woman like the ones replying on here. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys are simple, don't really gossip and don't put up with crap because they feel bad for someone. My daughter doesn't, either, but that is because she is raised with the brothers. Also, guys can easily have sex and no emotion is involved- one night stand, affairs..... I wish I could do that. So, I am truly not gender bashing.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> My bet is that the OP does not realize that many posters on TAM are hypersensitive to gender things. So she did not realize that she had to *word her post ever so carefully as to not offend you.* But she now knows and hopefully will be very careful to take your suggestion.


Lol at the bolded Ele if that is what you believe, nice subtle dig and I am sure your reaction would have been different if ... but anyway ...

Don't think anyone is offended, the wording/username and being posted in the Mens Clubhouse, the point was that her post maybe wouldn't be taken as seriously as it should be.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Be assured that he will continue to lie about anything his heart desires. It sounds as though he compartmentalizes his home life and work life. You cannot continue to bail him out of his financial messes. 

Some people are super sensitive or on the lookout for any sign of gender bashing. Don't feel bad. They'll get tired of that game some day. They usually pull it when they can't think of anything to contribute but want to see their name in print.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

wishiwereaman said:


> This is not a gender thing. I am just married to a man. I wish I were a man so that my emotions were not so involved in decision making. I am a woman and don't always see clearly. I let my emotions guide me sometimes to a default. For 18 years I keep thinking I am just judging and my roll is to help him be the best person he can be. That is why I am on the man board. I am looking for some sound advice. There are some great women that can help as well and I appreciate there advice. I could easily wish to be a woman like the ones replying on here. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys are simple, don't really gossip and don't put up with crap because they feel bad for someone. My daughter doesn't, either, but that is because she is raised with the brothers.* Also, guys can easily have sex and no emotion is involved*- one night stand, affairs..... I wish I could do that. So, I am truly not gender bashing.


FYI - the bolded many guys here would argue is not true, and even females here have commented that they have no issues detaching sex from emotions.

Honestly, your H sounds like a dbag and is purposefully trying to push you away. Aside from the lying about finances, what stuck out to me was:



> He has lost some weight, bought new clothes, gone on testosterone for low T,


Not saying this is always the case, but you do see stuff like this recommended to guys who are getting back into the dating scene, trying to build their confidence, etc... Do you have anything else to go on that he may be cheating aside from some suspicious behavior?

Honestly I would start protecting all your assets. Run a credit check to see what shows up under your name, especially if he is taking out loans that may have your name attached to it without consent. Reconcile all your personal and joint accounts on a daily/weekly basis.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

wishiwereaman said:


> This is not a gender thing. I am just married to a man. I wish I were a man so that my emotions were not so involved in decision making. I am a woman and don't always see clearly. I let my emotions guide me sometimes to a default. For 18 years I keep thinking I am just judging and my roll is to help him be the best person he can be. That is why I am on the man board. I am looking for some sound advice. There are some great women that can help as well and I appreciate there advice. I could easily wish to be a woman like the ones replying on here. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys are simple, don't really gossip and don't put up with crap because they feel bad for someone. My daughter doesn't, either, but that is because she is raised with the brothers. Also, guys can easily have sex and no emotion is involved- one night stand, affairs..... I wish I could do that. So, I am truly not gender bashing.



Being a man is not that simple. We are able to compartmentalize our emotions. We do have feelings and they do govern what we do to a fair extent. Affairs do involve emotions. In fact, that is often the basis of an affair. 

I cheated because I felt that I needed validation primarily; Sexual satisfaction secondarily. I justified it by telling myself that my wife would never give me what I needed and so it was somehow ok for me to get my needs met elsewhere. It was a bad choice. I knew that while I was doing it. I was deeply conflicted about it from day 1 until D-day. 

I assure you, there were tons of emotions involved. There usually are barring sociopathic tendencies. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Wishiwereaman, EleGirl linked you to the Standard Evidence post, it's also in my signature. You need to read that. I also think you need to ask EleGirl to move this thread into CWI. You'll get a lot more views by people experienced in catching infidelity there.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

wishiwereaman said:


> I let him back home after he said he would no longer lie about things that affect my future or my health -like affairs. *He did say that he can't promise that he will never lie to me, again or won't want me to find out things.* What does that mean??


Also, the bolded is ***ed up to even say that to you, although I guess at least he is being honest? He is really testing you to see how far he can go with getting away with things, and doesn't sound like he is taking your marriage (or the risk of it ending) very seriously. I know the chance of cheating is horrible, but at least if it was me, I would be much more concerned about the money aspect, that he is doing something that could crush you and your kids financially.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

wishiwereaman said:


> This is not a gender thing. I am just married to a man. I wish I were a man so that my emotions were not so involved in decision making. I am a woman and don't always see clearly. I let my emotions guide me sometimes to a default. For 18 years I keep thinking I am just judging and my roll is to help him be the best person he can be. That is why I am on the man board. I am looking for some sound advice. There are some great women that can help as well and I appreciate there advice. I could easily wish to be a woman like the ones replying on here. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys are simple, don't really gossip and don't put up with crap because they feel bad for someone. My daughter doesn't, either, but that is because she is raised with the brothers. Also, guys can easily have sex and no emotion is involved- one night stand, affairs..... I wish I could do that. So, I am truly not gender bashing.


I hope that when you are on the other side of this time in your life, you are glad to be a woman.


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## londonguy (Dec 23, 2015)

Modern HR practice would raise a big red flag for a financial lie. I think this is triggered by cases such as
UBS trader Kweku Adoboli lost thousands on spread bets prior to arrest - Telegraph

Of course a family is not a company and practices followed need not be the same but it's worth investigating further.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wishiwereaman said:


> This is not a gender thing. I am just married to a man. I wish I were a man so that my emotions were not so involved in decision making. I am a woman and don't always see clearly. I let my emotions guide me sometimes to a default. For 18 years I keep thinking I am just judging and my roll is to help him be the best person he can be. That is why I am on the man board. I am looking for some sound advice. There are some great women that can help as well and I appreciate there advice. I could easily wish to be a woman like the ones replying on here. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys are simple, don't really gossip and don't put up with crap because they feel bad for someone. My daughter doesn't, either, but that is because she is raised with the brothers. Also, guys can easily have sex and no emotion is involved- one night stand, affairs..... I wish I could do that. So, I am truly not gender bashing.


I think that you are over emphasizing popular stereotypes for both genders.

There are lots of very emotional men who act almost mostly from emotions. There are lots of women who are very analytical and are not ruled by their emotions. As for sex, keep in mind that every time a heterosexual man is having casual sex, a woman is having casual sex too. Women are every bit as capable of being casual about sex as me are.

We have a lot of men here on TAM who say that they cannot be casual about sex.

Women are taught that they cannot have casual sex. It was not very long ago that women were also taught that women cannot enjoy sex and cannot have orgasms. Well, all that is nonsense.

I also agree with the other poster that your thread needs to be moved to the Coping with Infidelity forum because that's the kind of help you need.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

wishiwereaman said:


> will he lie about anything?
> 
> Example: Married almost 18 years, 4 children, I have always worked for Fortune 100 companies and he started his own business that I have helped with over the years. He has been in business 13 years, I have a MBA but recently quit my job to go to get an advanced nursing degree. We had a bunch of money in the bank from my job. However, in 2013 he had to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy that I helped him with administratively and financially. He had two large contractors that did not pay him back to back. He almost has most of his debts paid back.
> 
> ...


Yes your husband lying to you about money means he cannot be trusted about anything else. You don't necessarily know if he's having an affair but you do know that he's okay hiding things from you so he doesn't deserve to be trusted. I'm a guy and I find it sad how many older men cat around when young women shake their tail feathers at him.


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## greenlupeu (Dec 28, 2015)

You have the answer already you know what to do? But it's evidence that there is no God in the relationship , you both need council, you have lot of strong points there but its not about who win or who lose it mostly about the future of both. Some time creed can take over one mind and become selfish by hidden things from other as he are she felt insecure for some reason. Which reality it real. But one things that is important you are independent which a plus. So be the one to show him up and show him how to build back trust, if u really love him and want the marriage to work interduce god in your life and trust is word he will work it out u cant. Money is not all there is something else that is more precise and can't buy the give peace, love, understanding. Happiness is salvation. Try it ,it's always work. I believe in you . You are "a" great woman keep it up a good job .

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


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## wishiwereaman (Dec 27, 2015)

I am not sure why you think there is no God. God has been the main focus in our families life. That is why I have stayed so long. Praying all the time, counseling with the preacher, Bible studies... You don't have four children without God as your center- I would have had more children if I didn't get sick with the last. Financial infidelity is not mentioned as a just reason to leave in the Bible. 

Let me mention that our marriage started 18 years ago with lies about his credit card debt. I paid them off after I found out and we agreed he would not lie, again. Now, this final high risk/ high interest loan he says he can't promise he won't lie, again or want me to find out things. I asked him what that meant and he said there is just stuff he may not want me to know in the future. 

I can't do it anymore. He is supposed to look out for us, provide good direction and instead he has directed us into a downward spiral of lies. He blames me by saying that I overreact when he tells the truth so he has to lie. I don't even remember a time he has told the truth about financials. 

Anyway, he moved out yesterday after I read the answers to my original question. Everyone is right and I am just being stupid and trying to live by the Bible. Him staying was creating a very unhappy home that the children do not need to see. I was basically walking on egg shells, hiding in my bedroom and he was saying that I should be patient while he finds somewhere to go. I don't think he really thought I was serious. 

At any rate, it is time to move forward. He attends church every week, helps gets the kids to youth, taught Sunday school for years and still felt he need to constantly lie. Hypocrisy at it best! I know I sound bitter. I am. I will get over it and pray he sees what matters in life- kids, family.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Honestly, he sounds like a habitual liar, and I am not sure that will ever change. Best of luck with you and your kids. As someone who grew up with parents that eventually got divorced, there is nothing more unhealthy for a kid then to subjected to that type of environment on a daily basis, so it sounds like you made the right decision. Time to focus on yourself and your kids, and of course do all the checks you need to do to ensure that financially you are protected (i.e. check to make sure no loans were taken out with your name attached to it, are you in any way connected to his business, etc...)


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## wishiwereaman (Dec 27, 2015)

EllisRedding said:


> Honestly, he sounds like a habitual liar, and I am not sure that will ever change. Best of luck with you and your kids. As someone who grew up with parents that eventually got divorced, there is nothing more unhealthy for a kid then to subjected to that type of environment on a daily basis, so it sounds like you made the right decision. Time to focus on yourself and your kids, and of course do all the checks you need to do to ensure that financially you are protected (i.e. check to make sure no loans were taken out with your name attached to it, are you in any way connected to his business, etc...)


Thanks. He had leveraged the house with a loan about 5 years ago - the reason that I helped out with the bankruptcy so much. I have been checking my credit but it is time to do it, again. I appreciate yours and everyone's help. I am afraid at what I will find. 

I do need to say that I have returned to school and he is paying for that, all the house bills, kids activities until I finish. He hates me for it but he is doing it. He blames me for the pressure of it. I have one year left and I feel terribly guilty about it as I enjoy not relying on anyone. The good news is that I am home for the kids during this hard time.


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## greenlupeu (Dec 28, 2015)

I profoundly commended you for all the things you keep up with. Your crown a Waite you girl don't worry. God have away work great wonder just pray for him, good pray ,god will bring back to u THAT He THINK Is GOOD For You .Continue living for god and go on fasting ask the prayer team to pray with you. Things going to be alright leave it at the cross. I know it is not easy for you and no one can express and understood what is is to carry such a load. But leave at the altar god will carry for u. Ok move forward is better let it be positive example it all about you now and your children go on tours. but god know . Go on adventures explore new IDEAS start something new that you love , and continue to live a remarkable life it's pay off well. Keep THE Faith God Is With You . This is your trial u can over come it. The devil is a liar. God already bless you and your family well. But remember "JOB" . When god said this is my faithful one and the devil said if you remove the angel seal around him he will stop honor you lord. And god move it for the devil to try him. He lose all his possession, goats, children, and even sick so bad that his friends stay far away. But the devil could never hurts is soul because he holy and give he soul already to the lord.you know the story too. So the devil lose . even your friends will say to you why not get ride of him. But he said foolish wife so you can say foolish people too. God then blessed him ten time what he were had. This is what you are going through sister the devil trying destroy your family and everything around you. Because you are highly bless and flavor to god. I believe in you and you know what to do this is the time you hold strong to your god and give him all. You know the rest I will pray with . Stars and angels in heaven salute and stand beside you , you are not alone. Great things are there to come put on your armer your at war belive it are not physically. Spiritually. Against force of this world.but Victor is yours and great wander. Amen. I am silent now god is in control.


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## greenlupeu (Dec 28, 2015)

I spend the time wrote this to you, with tears in my eye,but happy still that you hold on to the god we know that is great. 

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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

WishIwere,

Sorry you are where you are, but your H is a pathological liar, there is a good chance he has spent the income from his business on some or all of the following...

* prostitutes
* gambling
* girlfriends
* expensive items.
* drugs
* loans to friends

Your points about his losing weight, taking supplements, etc all point to an affair, but for now you need to snoop more closely and let the evidence build up.

Your marriage began in dishonesty with his concealment of debt and it has never recovered, now he has accumulated a mountain of lies and he has to come clean. I suspect from what you wrote that he is a competitive guy who has to have the best of everything possibly a narcissist as well, perhaps he got too much approval from his mommy.

Tamat


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