# Horny wife vs passive husband... help?



## dqueen (Dec 1, 2010)

Hello,
I would like your advice. My h and I are a young couple. Since we got married I noticed my H had little experience in sex (positions and so on) It is not that im an expert, but I consider myself very instinctive plus other bf I had (b4 getting married) told me i was very sexy. Well, the thing is that my H is very SHY.. at the beggining he didnt enven know how to put a condom, but with time, he started to do more things to me in bed, but now after almost 3 years together, we only have sex twice a week!! I would love to have it everyday, but he says he´s tired from work...:sleeping:
I see on the streets that he gives a glance to other women (not even hotter than me).. I just dont understand, If i dress sexy and makes moves on him, he sometimes turns on and we have sex, but during the week even if I give him a lap dance, he just watches tv... 
I feel frustrated. 
Boys is that normal??


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## Bon_vivant (Dec 1, 2010)

Have you asked him what the problem is? Have you considered some sort of role-playing where you had to be the passive one? That would force him to be more active. Just a thought... How old is he, btw?


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## dqueen (Dec 1, 2010)

Bon_vivant said:


> Have you asked him what the problem is? Have you considered some sort of role-playing where you had to be the passive one? That would force him to be more active. Just a thought... How old is he, btw?


Yes, I have asked him, he says he is just tired from work. I have considered the role-playing, but if i am the passive, he is shy to continue (most of the times)... we both are 33.:scratchhead:


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## Bon_vivant (Dec 1, 2010)

dqueen said:


> Yes, I have asked him, he says he is just tired from work. I have considered the role-playing, but if i am the passive, he is shy to continue (most of the times)... we both are 33.:scratchhead:


Sorry to hear that. Maybe you could set aside a particular time for your sex (?). I know that sounds rather clinical and non-spontaneous, but maybe that would help...is there a day when he's not as tired from work? What about a quickie in the morning?


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## Bon_vivant (Dec 1, 2010)

Or maybe this: is there some lingerie that he can't resist? What about doing something to him that never fails to get him horny?


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## dqueen (Dec 1, 2010)

Bon_vivant said:


> Sorry to hear that. Maybe you could set aside a particular time for your sex (?). I know that sounds rather clinical and non-spontaneous, but maybe that would help...is there a day when he's not as tired from work? What about a quickie in the morning?


Last week I tried the quickie in the morning, but we have to wake up kind of early since he is off to work at 8am. (leave home at 7am). Gets home at 6pm (but he works in an office, not like he is a miner or something). When he is back I try to seduce him, wear sexy clothes, touch him, but he is on the bed watching tv. 

The only days he is the one starting the game is on weekends, but unfortunately when i am in "my days" on weekends, there is no sex, so I have to wait ,even if I get to "normal" during the week, I have to wait until the the NEXT weekend to have sex again...!!! What makes it worse is that we are looking for a baby but with this rhytm I dont think that will happen soon


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## SomeGuy80 (Dec 1, 2010)

Wasn't snipped was he? Doctors always say the big V doesn't make a difference, except for a lot of men it totally kills the sex drive. 

I recall getting the "it won't make a difference" advice and it was a total lie. I had all kinds of pain and swelling for weeks to months. It was almost 6 months before I could orgasm without pain. My sex drive is about 10% what it once was (I could have made love to wife hourly everyday.) now I'm only interested every few weeks. I would still go way more often, but we have the opposite problem as you. My wife is always too tired and would rather watch TV than be with me.


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## Sierra61 (Feb 22, 2010)

Dqueen, have your husband has his testosterone levels checked. From everything you have decribed, he sounds like he is suffering from low T. This is hugely important, don't put off a simple blood test.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

WAIT. Maybe he is tired from work?


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> WAIT. Maybe he is tired from work?


beat me to it. 

I work in an office and even though I'm sitting down most of the day, it can get hectic and stressful. I have salespeople and managers yelling at me most of the day and it can really wear you down.

So yeah, maybe he IS tired. I mean 2x per week isn't too bad. I realize that you're not happy but maybe you can work him up to 3x per week to help.


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## Drayvius (Nov 30, 2010)

Yeah I am not sure I would read much into that. (my opinion) I tend to think 2xweek is kinda the norm (again may be wrong) thats about what me and my wife are at. I work 40-45 hours a week manual labor and im dead tired when I get home. Not that I think there is a difference in work. I think regaurdless of what you do that after being at work for 8-10 hours, your tired, and may not feel like doing the activities. Just some food for thought.

=]

Dray


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## dqueen (Dec 1, 2010)

Thank you all for your replies. Yes, maybe he was tired... good news we are going on vacation now. So hopefully he will have ALL his energy to spend on me, he he he

kisses


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

dqueen said:


> , but during the week even if I give him a lap dance, he just watches tv...
> I feel frustrated.
> Boys is that normal??


We would have to see a video of the lap dance to make an informed contribution.


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## Golfer216 (Dec 2, 2010)

dqueen
I'll tell you this from a guy's perspective, it sounds like you have a role reversal situation in your marriage.

Most guys will tell you they are in the polar opposite situation where they like to have sex more often than their wives/girlfriends.

For most guys if your wife wears sexy lingerie, gives you a lap dance, & you would rather watch TV, there is something seriously off. I'm not saying this to freak you out, but you need to have a talk with him about what's going on, get him tested for low testosterone, or get him to start working out or otherwise doing something active.


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## Sierra61 (Feb 22, 2010)

" I don't think any guy could just turn a blind eye to a woman who is getting herself off in front of him. "

Yes they would and do if their testosterone is very low. Men who have healthy testosterone levels have no conception of what it's like. A man with very low testosterone has no libido at all. There is no desire, no erections. There's no interest in sex, porn, naked women or anything intimate. It doesn't matter who is next to him or what they're doing.

This is a health issue. My husband had a testosterone level of 114 prior to getting injections, when normal for his age was 700. Believe me, men with that low of a level turn a blind eye to their lady jerking off in front of them.


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

Forget the lap dance. Unless you are a pro you are probably barking up the wrong tree. Even an amature can masturbate though. Sit on the coffee table right in front of him and masturbate...all the way...then walk away and see if he follows you. If he doesnt he needs to be checked. PM me for a personalised fantasy story to share with him. They can be pretty hot too!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

dqueen said:


> Since we got married I noticed my H had little experience in sex (positions and so on) It is not that im an expert, but I consider myself very instinctive plus other bf I had (b4 getting married) told me i was very sexy. Well, the thing is that my H is very SHY.. at the beggining he didnt enven know how to put a condom, but with time, he started to do more things to me in bed,


I noticed you said he was 33 yrs old, my thinking IS -if he is THIS SHY at THIS age and has this little experience, I bet he has been masterbating for most of his life & maybe he still is secretly. I would think it's possible if a man gets into this life-long habit -not having experience with women, some habits are very hard to break. 

Could be TESTOSTERONE also. If he is not very aggressive to begin with, has little hair on his chest, very well he could just be a Lower level Test Guy - in compasion to the majority of men out there. 

If he is falling asleep after work regularly, If he is having Brain fog, sometimes it causes depression too, if he is having trouble acheiving erections, especially if you are only have sex twice a week, then he should be checked. The Doc will order 3 morning Blood tests 3 days in a row to get an idea of where he is. (Test is always highest in the morning ). For sex, maybe the best idea is have him go to sleep early, set the alarm & get it in the am -before he gets up every day, he may really be UP for that. 

My husband has "lower levels" in comparison to other men his age (approx 150- 200 points lower), he is passive, little hair on his chest, usually more tired than me (but not falling asleep after work or brain fog), and I am quite the Nympho these days. I am still able to get him going about 5 , sometimes 6 days a week though. He is almost 47. Mornings are always better for him. 

Make sure he is not taking care of himself 1st. If not, I would think at age 33, he really should be wanting it more. Do you give him oral ?? This has been a life saver for our sex life. That almost always gets him in the mood.


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