# Am I crazy



## Serinity1980 (Oct 22, 2013)

I had a fight with my husband tonight, or well more like he sat there and harassed me for like about an hour to TELL the truth to our kids well the truth to him is and he is very verbally aggressive about it. So after that I caved (feeling very foolish and stupid right now)and I called my babies down from bed to tell them that my babies and I are going up north for my cousins grad without daddy. My husband wanted me to tell them and I did that I lied and plotted with my auntie about him so he couldn't go with us. What the lie part about is about is that he thinks that my auntie thinks that he slept with his little brothers ex wife and he didn't, and I didn't stand up for him,and I did stand up for him. Anyway so I call my kids downstairs and tell them that daddy isn't going with up to the grad ceremony because I lied and plotted against him so he couldn't go. He kept insisting I tell them everything so I continued, that I'm a liar and I made stuff up about him and his brothers ex wife so now my auntie doesn't want him to come. My daughter who 13 couldn't not figure out how that would have happened because as far as she knows he only saw her once and the swimming pool. After of course my husband kept telling me that I to tell them the truth about the whole affair and the whole story involving my auntie. And that is that while I was there, building a cake for something that while I was working he was over at his brothers ex-wife say again brothers ex-wife's house and that it could be scene or taken in a very bad way. 
No were after my daughter said that did he say that maybe my auntie might think this because he spent every single evening over at his brothers ex wife's house. Not like dropping something off I mean gone from dinner time to like 1 or 2 in the morning. 
SO am I crazy for thinking that he devised this so I look like the crazy bad person not him, because after I told my kids that I am a deceitful liar he was happy and backed off. While denying that was what he wanted apparently he just wanted to talk about what I was going to tell them because I had to tell them the truth.
So I'm a more then a little angry at him right now, and I am uncertain if it is warranted. Am I crazy for thinking he devised this so I look bad in front of my kids.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

With all due respect, perhaps it is a bit "crazy" (not to mention immature and cruel) for both of you to involve your children in your drama. They are children, and it damages their innocence to have them sit there and listen to two adults presenting an adult argument to them for whatever reason. Shameful.

Having said that up front, the argument between you and your spouse should have been handled between the two of you, and not involve your children at all. He should have not *demanded*, you should have not *complied* with that request. So, in that regard, both parents were at fault.

As to the argument itself, was there any resolution?


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## Serinity1980 (Oct 22, 2013)

He was happy that I was now the liar and it was all my fault, but what got me the most about the argument was that since he was insisting I tell my children the truth and I did that he did not tell them the truth about why my auntie would think that. Of course I don't realize this at the time, because he is just so verbally aggressive to me that I am crying and if I had something to hid behind I would be. I am very ashamed of myself that for me the only way that I could see to make him stop was to comply with his demands. I have told him that what he does is a form of abuse but he just laughed at me and told me that I was lying being reactionary and should probably go to the doctor to get pills because I was acting crazy.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

You should leave this guy


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Serinity1980 said:


> He was happy that I was now the liar and it was all my fault, but what got me the most about the argument was that since he was insisting I tell my children the truth and I did that he did not tell them the truth about why my auntie would think that. Of course I don't realize this at the time, because he is just so verbally aggressive to me that I am crying and if I had something to hid behind I would be. I am very ashamed of myself that for me the only way that I could see to make him stop was to comply with his demands. I have told him that what he does is a form of abuse but he just laughed at me and told me that I was lying being reactionary and should probably go to the doctor to get pills because I was acting crazy.


He is abusive. What you described will mess your children up. It is your responsibility to make sure something like that never happens again.


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## baedono (Apr 19, 2014)

It sure sounds like he wants to pin you as the bad guy. I'm sure he wanted you to tell your children so that they'd side with him or side against you to get some weird, morbid sense of satisfaction for making you out to be a bad person. Parents do often times play this game to see who the kids will side with. 

I agree with the other users that you shouldn't have involved your kids in this argument, though. I remember when I was 12-13 and my mom woke me up in the middle of the night after my parents got into a huge fight to tell me that my dad had been cheating on her. My relationship with my dad was very rocky since then. When you involve your children in adult arguments, it will really mess with the way they look at you and the way they look at relationships, people, etc. But whats done is done.

I would suggest that you take some time apart and keep your kids out of the loop of things.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You probably know that you should not have told your children anything. What you did was to put on a demonstration of you being verbally abused by your husband.

If I were you, I'd tell my children that you said that to them because he made you, that you were afraid of him. I would also tell them that you did not tell the aunt of what your husband made you say and that you did not lie.. you are not a liar.

Then I would leave him and get a divorce.

So how often does he do things like that that are abusive and frightening?


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