# Trial Separation??



## BRK123108 (Jan 15, 2010)

This is my first post. Forgive me if i ramble....

My husband and I have been together since 2006 we have been married for a little over a year. The relationship has never been perfect. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage and I have none. He also owns his own business which I have always helped with. We have been trying to have a baby since we got married. We argue a lot about work (the business is just not bringing in enough money to pay our bills). We argue about his ex wife and the kids. We argue because he is stressed out all the time. Sometimes it feels like we argue about everything.

I also have PMDD. Which makes me a terrible person to be around 3 days a month. I really try to control my temper and walk away but sometimes its just like it takes over my body. 

He is in his own world. The business is the main thing that matters to him. 

He even worked on Christmas Eve after he promised me he would not do that to me again this year. See I live away from my family so I spent Christmas Eve sitting home alone. I have no friends here where we are living and all I have time to do is work and keep the house livable. 

He thinks all of our problems are because I have PMDD. He says he knows he has issues too but that is as far as the conversation goes. He just says if I would take medication for my PMDD everything would fine.

A few months ago I talked to my doctor about it and I can't take medication needed if I am trying to have a baby.

Okay so I just got over the latest PMDD episode. The arguments start over stupid little things and escalate into bigger things. My husband texted me yesterday and said he has decided that he wants me to go back to my hometown for awhile and give us time to clear our heads. So he came home and we drove to the airport to rent a car so i could drive back. On the way there we were talking calmly and when we got there we ended up sitting down and talking some more. So I said why don't we go home we can always come back and get a car tomorrow. He keeps saying I should just take medicine. When I hear that I hear "you are never going to be a mom"

I try to visualize what my life would be like helping raise his kids helping make his business successful and never having a child or life of my own. I don't really want a divorce i believe marriage is forever but I am just not sure how to move forward from here. I feel like I would be the only one making any sacrifices. 

I am going to stop writing now because I don't know how long this thread has gotten LoL. If you have any questions please ask. Any advice would be appreciated.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Background on PMDD please - what is it? Are you being treated? Medication? Therapy?

Why would taking meds keep you from having a child? Or are reading into it that he doesn't care enough somehow when he says that?


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## BRK123108 (Jan 15, 2010)

PMDD is basically PMS times 20. The cramps are terrible! But the worst part is the depression and mood swings. It comes on for about a week before my period and lasts 3 days. But it is really bad for me AND my husband. The only treatment is birth control or antidepressants and I can't take either of those while trying to conceive.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Double check with your doctor about anti-depressants. Its been awhile, but don't medicines get classified - ?3 tiers? - based on their potential risk to pregnant women? 

It seems there were some options in the "moderate" risk range that could help. Why am I thinking Prozac was just "moderate"?


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## BRK123108 (Jan 15, 2010)

I m not sure but I have an appointment next month and plan to talk to her then. But this isn't the only issue that we have and I am just conflicted about anti depressants. 

I wish he would communicate with me more. I think I am lonely all the time and then when the PMDD kicks in everything just goes crazy but I do believe if he made some effort in the marriage that would be helpful too.


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## frustratednhurt (Jan 15, 2010)

If you want it to work, maybe you should try the meds first. If you want a baby with him you have to see if you will even be able to get along at all- no matter what time of the month.just a thought.


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## cobol (Jan 14, 2010)

I'm not familiar with PMDD, but it might be a good idea to also get endomitriosis ruled out as well, just in case.


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