# How do you WANT her to initiate



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Spin off thread. 

How do you like your partner to initiate? Ideally, how often. Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one. 

Men whose wives don’t initiate... if you were to fantasy about her initiating, what would it look like.

— this is a how do you want her to initiate thread, not how she does it already—


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I like my wife to initiate, but she's shy about doing it and not as often as I would like.
There's two ways she does it: 1. She wears something she's know i like, like a see through.
2. She'll flirt and drop verbal hints.

She never comes right out and says it.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My wife and I are slightly less subtle than most.
She sends me text messages saying “Wanna ****” and I do likewise.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

jorgegene said:


> I like my wife to initiate, but she's shy about doing it and not as often as I would like.
> There's two ways she does it: 1. She wears something she's know i like, like a see through.
> 2. She'll flirt and drop verbal hints.
> 
> She never comes right out and says it.


But is that what you want her to do if it were up to you.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Lingerie of any sort as a surprise followed by physically taking what she wants. Close second would be hot panties (she knows the ones I like) followed by physical initiation.

First one has never happened, second one rarely happens.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think some of them want it like a hooker, unzip their pants and drop to their knees and give them a BJ. 

But real women are usually more romantic than that and will more likely do it by setting the mood, because that's what works for them. I think that's why a lot of women would prefer a romantic gesture than just being grabbed and groped by way of initiation. 

One thing I've noticed just because of the forums is that initiation seems to be way more of an issue with married people than with single ones. I mean when you're single and you go out and come home and invite the guy in or agree to go to his place, sex is pretty much a given. 

Initiating can be as simple putting on your favorite music that you both like. Setting the mood.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There are any number of ways that my wife initiates, and I'm happy with all of them so I don't need to add to those. Well, okay, I suppose I'd like it if she brought home a hot girl friend and both came on to me. That only happened once, but I'd love for that to happen again.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It's no accident that that only happened once, my friend! 😂


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I prefer my ladies be a bit subtle. No reason for her to jump my bones when she can make herself look so hot that I can't help but jump hers.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's no accident that that only happened once, my friend! 😂


That one time was a great surprise, and no doubt worked because the right person was available. We've had many threesomes since then, but more deliberately planned.


----------



## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

I would like my wife to be flirty and/or suggestive. Her go to method of initiating is very direct, like grabbing below my belt.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Girl_power said:


> How do you like your partner to initiate? --snip--— this is a how do you want her to initiate thread, not how she does it already—


In a word, Unambiguously. Passionately. Confidently. Often.
In two words, At All. Tits Out. Tie Me. 
In three words, Just Do It. Put Down Book. Lay In Wait. Plan For It.

Well that was a lot more fun to answer than I thought it would be.


----------



## SGr (Mar 19, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> In a word, Unambiguously. Passionately. Confidently. Often.
> In two words, At All. Tits Out. Tie Me.
> In three words, Just Do It. Put Down Book. Lay In Wait. Plan For It.
> 
> Well that was a lot more fun to answer than I thought it would be.


Your first two lines took the words right out of my brain. Verbatim!


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Depending on what my hormones are doing I either sweetly ask him for some attention, or tell him to throw me down and do me. Now.

One extreme or the other with me, no in between


----------



## Meatball (Sep 17, 2020)

Basically ANYTHING. 

It doesn't have to be "right" it just has to "BE". Like gift giving, it's the thought that counts.

You want a list? ok
Wear something sexy
Say something sexy
Flirt 
Text me something sexy
Send me a sexy pic
Send me a sexy pic, poem, article, meme, etc you found on the web
Give me a sexy gift (doesn't have to be big or expensive)

On second thought..... I'm NOT going to spend the next 6 hours typing up EVERY possible way to LMK you're "interested". 

I will say this though, according to MMSLP, the man is SUPPOSED to be the "aggressor" / "initiator" as women's sex drive is "responsive". I say OK....but....BS. I know I think about sex WAY more then she does, but I AM "responsive" too. On the other hand, I also KNOW that she thinks about it SOMETIMES. My old joke is that her idea of forelay is to tell me, "You know I wanted to have sex last night right?" If she thought about it and wanted it, WTH didn't she say or do SOMETHING?


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I know that for my man it's about touch and physical affection more than anything.

Although there have been moments where I've simply glanced over at him on the sofa; not doing anything overtly sexual, just eye contact. 
And he's responded with 'Oh yeah?' to which I've replied 'mhm' and it's on...


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

It’s interesting because I think what some women think men want... an aggressive sex pornstar or whatever, it seems men still prefer subtle and coy.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I prefer direct, direct is good


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Girl_power said:


> It’s interesting because I think what some women think men want... an aggressive sex pornstar or whatever, *it seems men still prefer subtle and coy*.


This to me is what I prefer as a male.


----------



## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one.


I'm pretty sure the answer to your question is "yes".


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

In my opinion men "think" they want a woman that initiates, but the reality is that he likely wants her to initiate only when he wants it so that he doesn't have to risk rejection by doing it himself. 

So when a woman plays coy, he can conveniently fail to notice when she is dropping hints (consciously or subconsciously).


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

badsanta said:


> In my opinion men "think" they want a woman that initiates, but the reality is that he likely wants her to initiate only when he wants it so that he doesn't have to risk rejection by doing it himself.


Might be something to this but I can’t remember ever having turned down sex so I would like to see what my limit is.


----------



## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I'd want her to be naked, or wearing my favorite kind of undergarments. She could walk through the room, or bend over in front of me with a convincing act of looking for something. Then giving me the mischievous look as she's walking out. I'd take care of the rest.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> Spin off thread.
> 
> How do you like your partner to initiate? Ideally, how often. Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one.
> 
> ...


I don't think my wife could ever be an initiator although I have talked about it for years. Now we just do things when I want and how I want but it's starts by cuddling and touching her.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> It’s interesting because I think what some women think men want... an aggressive sex pornstar or whatever, it seems men still prefer subtle and coy.


Some fantasies die a death because in practice you are the only one involved even though they agreed which is fair enough, but it was worth trying to find out.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Andy1001 said:


> My wife and I are slightly less subtle than most.
> She sends me text messages saying “Wanna ****” and I do likewise.


W and I are the same. We say, either of us, hey let's get naked.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> It’s interesting because I think what some women think men want... an aggressive sex pornstar or whatever, it seems men still prefer subtle and coy.


Some may, certainly not all. Not me, mostly at my age. 
And there's a time for slow, ease of sex, then there's times for pounding, the mood of the moment prevails.

And that's the beauty of a long sexual M; all kinds of acts come round. ❤❤❤


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

How?

i would be watching some boring sci fy movie on tv.
she would slowly prance into the room, wearing a bustier, lacy panties, thigh high stockings, and high heels. she would saunter over to the front of the tv, accidentally drop something, then bend over to pick it up.

then casually walk out of the room, as if nothing happened.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Her face in my lap usually works well.


----------



## Husband2016 (May 27, 2018)

How? Who cares? Do the Nike and just do it. Been two weeks and feel meh? Do a quickie. Feeling sexy? Put on some lingerie and surprise him - could be Monday night football in OT, I can bet who won that coin toss. At work? Send a suggestive picture. In the shower? Join. Just don’t be indirect. We have short memory spans and little side view vision. Literally shove it in his face. Yeah, sometimes we’re stressed and distracted, but even if we’ve done 12 quickies in a row do we want another? Probably not, but we’re not gonna say no either. I wouldn’t.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> Spin off thread.
> 
> How do you like your partner to initiate? Ideally, how often. Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one.
> 
> ...


The extent of my wife's initiation has always been a verbal invitation. These days she comes to me and says "do you want to go lay down?" 

In my fantasy, she would grab my junk and start undoing my belt. But that just isn't her personality.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> The extent of my wife's initiation has always been a verbal invitation. These days she comes to me and says "do you want to go lay down?"
> 
> In my fantasy, she would grab my junk and start undoing my belt. But that just isn't her personality.


If you want your wife to do that, how about the next time she says "do you want to go lay down?", you tell her "you can start by undoing my belt and then..."


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Personal said:


> If you want your wife to do that, how about the next time she says "do you want to go lay down?", you tell her "you can start by undoing my belt and then..."


Oh we have. Many times in many ways over 50+years. I was answering the OPs question.


----------



## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

To be honest, answering the OP, while I may have wanted my (ex)wife to initiate at least sometimes, it would have been enough to signal that she was open to be initiated on. That's all it would have taken: "Oh? If I make a move I won't hit a wall of not-tonight-excuses? Booyah".

And that, I think, is especially important for women who are strictly responsive or more reserved. Just make it clear that any advance would be welcome.


----------



## DrummerCD (Sep 22, 2021)

I Would like the same thing to be honest, for her to initiate more, but I feel it's something that cannot really be change, it's just mean you want more sex than her, if she's not thinking about she won't initiate lol.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Girl_power said:


> .......How do you like your partner to initiate? Ideally, how often. Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one.
> 
> Men whose wives don’t initiate... if you were to fantasy about her initiating, what would it look like.......


How? often and strongly!

Seriously, I want to know that I am sexually desired by her. Really desired. Her initiating shows that she desires me sexually or intimately. The more aggressive, the more desire I feel. Do I want her to be so aggressive, that she become a dominatrix? Ahhhh.....not really, but ...............that could be fun every once in a while. 

As to verbal/physical or sweetness/shy.....that all comes down to one issue: Foreplay. The brain is a much bigger sex organ than what dangles between a man's legs. I want to be sexually desired and have her "f#ck my brain" first and foremost. 

I fantasize over a woman (my wife) using all kinds of methods to sexually arouse me. Using words, costumes, body positions, scents, tastes, touch, etc. to paint in different colors an emotional canvas or arousal in my brain and then my body. I want to feel, smell, taste, hear, and experience her sexual desire for me.

And speaking of making a fantasy come true..... My wife has told me that some of the best sex she has had is when she has aroused me to the point that I loose control and am taken over by animal passion and desire for her. She feeds off my level of passion and lets go of her control to release her inner animal. Those are the times where we ravish each other until totally spent. This is not something that can be done every time or even most of the time, but it can be spectacular when it happens. It is also not predictable and sometimes she gets scared at what she has unleashed.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Might be something to this but I can’t remember ever having turned down sex so I would like to see what my limit is.


This just got liked and bumped and I have to come clean. My wife jumped in the shower with me today after a brutal workout.

I was very tired and she is over a foot shorter than me and generally I don’t like having sex in the shower. Anyway she grabbed my junk and initiated on me and I told her not now I will have you later.

So there you go.

☹


----------



## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Girl_power said:


> Spin off thread.
> 
> How do you like your partner to initiate? Ideally, how often. Do you like a verbal invite, a physical one. A sweet and shy playful one, or an overt aggressive one.
> 
> ...


Nothing coarse or vulgar - that is the unsolictored ****pic of come-ons.

Often just a prolonged touch, or a flirty flip or flash. Heck you want hints - go watch some old Benny Hill shows it's filled with the stuff that works. Sometimes a nod and a wink. sometimes a show of something sexy. sometimes just being friendly to when he does a pat or brush. sometimes just a smile.
That old show was all about the teaser and the chase to get the men excited and to laugh at the games men and women play.

Also you can watch it and see how far the world has fallen since.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

spot said:


> Heck you want hints - go watch some old Benny Hill shows it's filled with the stuff that works. Sometimes a nod and a wink. sometimes a show of something sexy. sometimes just being friendly to when he does a pat or brush. sometimes just a smile.
> 
> That old show was all about the teaser and the chase to get the men excited and to laugh at the games men and women play.
> 
> *Also you can watch it and see how far the world has fallen since.*


That show was one of the funniest. Have to see if can find some reruns or DVDs.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

So the consensus is...all guys want something different, depending on their mood...and sometimes they want nothing...

OF COURSE! Lol!!


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> So the consensus is...all guys want something different, depending on their mood...and sometimes they want nothing...
> 
> OF COURSE! Lol!!


I always 100% of the time want my wife to show up wearing lingerie I bought her. 100% deal closed.


----------

