# What do you all feel about going it alone sometimes?



## ticktock33 (Jun 6, 2014)

I catch my husband waking up earlier than me to watch porn since we can't have sex. It didn't bother me but for some reason the last time freaked me out and I went on a tailspin. But I didn't tell him, this is all he has and I don't want to rain on his needs. We have to work things ourselves these days.

Men, is porn a guy thing or do any of you prefer reading things or just your wife?

I feel like I'm a very sexual person, but I can turn it off when I need to. I like to read erotic stories and I was wondering what you all prefer, porn or reading erotic stories...or neither.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Most of my sex life is "going it alone" these days (but I am single). So i feel really good about it. Plus I can always O.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Can't have sex?

Why not assist him so he doesn't have to go it alone?


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## ticktock33 (Jun 6, 2014)

IndyTMI said:


> Can't have sex?
> 
> Why not assist him so he doesn't have to go it alone?


Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn't. I can't tell most of the time and when I do he gets sad that we can't. So I figure it's best for him to tell me rather than me initiating.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long will you not be able to have sex?


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## ticktock33 (Jun 6, 2014)

A year, we try other things, pulling out and it works well enough. But not being worried at all and just doing what we want, it's been a year.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ticktock33 said:


> A year, we try other things, pulling out and it works well enough. But not being worried at all and just doing what we want, it's been a year.


So you have not had sex in a year? 

I was asking about how much longer in the future?

Is this about not wanting to get pregnant? Is that why there is no sex?


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## OpenEnded (Jul 30, 2012)

ticktock33 said:


> A year, we try other things, *pulling out *and it works well enough. But not being worried at all and just doing what we want, it's been a year.


What do you mean when you say "pulling out" ?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I don't understand why you can't have sex. And ya, if you can't have sex then he's going to take care of it himself. I mean, come on, what do you expect?


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

ticktock33 said:


> ...since we can't have sex.....


please clarify


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

My sex life consists of me "going it alone" I havent had sex for almost a year. Im still married.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

ticktock33 said:


> A year, we try other things, pulling out and it works well enough. But not being worried at all and just doing what we want, it's been a year.


Can you tell the whole story in one thread? From piecing together your other threads, you can't have sex due to living in his mom's living room with no privacy, not being able to take hormone based birth control, your H not liking condoms, and not being able to afford other birth control.

What about the very cheap spermicidal bc that I recommended in your last thread?

Also, can you explain how you and H being in your 30s, married for 5 years, and working lots of hours cannot afford even the tiniest apartment or rented room to gain the proper environment for a marriage to survive?

Wanting to really provide you with some helpful suggestions but still having trouble understanding the situation.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I don't understand why you can't have sex. And ya, if you can't have sex then he's going to take care of it himself. I mean, come on, what do you expect?


The OP and husband live with his mother and the couple sleeps in the living room. 

My first thought is they need to get their own place or at least their own room with a door that can be locked.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> The OP and husband live with his mother and the couple sleeps in the living room.
> 
> 
> 
> My first thought is they need to get their own place or at least their own room with a door that can be locked.



I agree. Seems high time to cut the cord and get their own place.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea...time to get your own place, even if just a cute little studio.

Sex is a big part of marriage especially when you aren't getting any.

Masturbation is natural. People do it for many reasons. That's their own business unless it starts to take away from the sex you share with them.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> The OP and husband live with his mother and the couple sleeps in the living room.
> 
> My first thought is they need to get their own place or at least their own room with a door that can be locked.


He can beat-off to porn, but they can't have sex?

I don't get it. Like, do it outside, do it in the car, do it at a hotel, do it when you have a fee minute (when mother leaves), etc. 

Like, how quiet is your husband when he's watching porn and masturbating, vs. how loud are you when you are having intercourse? :scratchhead:

Get your own place, or just have sex anyways. If mom doesn't realize married people need to have sex, buy her some earplugs.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

tulsy said:


> He can beat-off to porn, but they can't have sex?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Seems like an excuse doesn't it?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

From what I understand from the other threads, they are living in Eastern Europe (his homeland), and they don't have jobs. They may have some debt, too, not sure.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She says they work a lot of hours but have no money. She said they work from home. I say time to get a real job.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

where theres a will theres a way.

be more creative! I'd take my wife offering a blow job/hand job over porn anyday of the week.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

From what I can gather from your posts, 90% of your problems are solved if you get paying jobs and move out of your MIL's house.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Unemployment may be a problem, depending on the country they are in. Or they may be building up a business, which could take time.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

jld said:


> Unemployment may be a problem, depending on the country they are in. Or they may be building up a business, which could take time.


Yes, it could, but losing a marriage takes a lot less time...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Yes, it could, but losing a marriage takes a lot less time...


She is not going to lose her marriage. This is a temporary living situation, according to her other threads.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

jld said:


> She is not going to lose her marriage. This is a temporary living situation, according to her other threads.


Reading her other threads, she absolutely is in the process of losing her marriage.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

jld said:


> She is not going to lose her marriage. This is a temporary living situation, according to her other threads.


Already a year, so not so temporary it seems. Not many marriages even fairly strong ones can tolerate living in Mom's living room, no money, and no access to good birth control.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Abc123wife said:


> Can you tell the whole story in one thread? From piecing together your other threads, you can't have sex due to living in his mom's living room with no privacy, not being able to take hormone based birth control, your H not liking condoms, and not being able to afford other birth control.
> 
> What about the very cheap spermicidal bc that I recommended in your last thread?
> 
> ...


I wouldnt let this ( bolded ) happen there is always a way, sounds like an excuse more then anything.. where theres a will theres a way!


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

tulsy said:


> He can beat-off to porn, but they can't have sex?
> 
> I don't get it. Like, do it outside, do it in the car, do it at a hotel, do it when you have a fee minute (when mother leaves), etc.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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