# divorce brings out the worst in some



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Just got into a heated text fight with STBXH. He received a letter from my Lawyer with court date to change petition and set final date.

I receive these nasty texts saying that he has been f'd over by my lawyer, that my sister and I stole piles of money from him, that I gained weight and refused to change to please him, i tried to kill him by cooking rice and corn when i knew he had diabetes, that I am a bitter insane woman, I am frigid and I drink too much.

I text back, "is that it. Do you think I was part of JFK shooting too"? 

Wtf? 

Then more rambling - justifies his affairs by saying that i was a horrible nag every day and night pointing out his bad traits and that nobody would blame him for his affairs. 

I text back, "sorry you feel that way". 

I always heard the divorce settlement time is the worse and me ex is living up to that expectation. 

I believe in his mind that he thought the divorce would not go through and I would one day call him up and beg him to come back.


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## ICLH (Dec 26, 2013)

Looks like I got a lot to look forward to. I've heard some of the same nonsense already and the divorce process hasn't even started yet.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

FrustratedFL said:


> Just got into a heated text fight with STBXH. He received a letter from my Lawyer with court date to change petition and set final date.
> 
> I receive these nasty texts saying that he has been f'd over by my lawyer, that my sister and I stole piles of money from him, that I gained weight and refused to change to please him, i tried to kill him by cooking rice and corn when i knew he had diabetes, that I am a bitter insane woman, I am frigid and I drink too much.
> 
> ...


Welcome to the nightmare that is divorce. It is absolutely amazing what WS will say to justify their actions/affairs. What gets me the most is that they feel so justified in their anger at us when they are the betrayers. And they don't think we have any reason to be upset much less to divorce them. "How dare you?" is my STBXH favorite phrase now days. 

Right after our first MC session, he was back on his marital affair websites. When I confronted him about it the next evening his response was "How dare you bring that up." He then proceeded to pack some of his clothes and all his drugs and went to stay at his mother's house. I took his house key and told him he would not get back into my house (it is my separate property). He stayed gone for the weekend and then Monday morning he tried to get back in. When he could not, he came to my office "I can't believe you did that." Told him "I can't believe a lot of the stuff you have been doing."

That was the end. I called my attorney and told him to get the paperwork done and filed.

Now before I get jumped on, I did not know that I was not supposed to lock him out of the house as it was my separate property, but he never argued the point and never tried to come back again. Had he I would have let him back in because it's the law and I try to follow the letter of the law.

If yours is anything like mine, his idea of being f**ked over by the lawyer is that he has to split assets and has to pay some of the debt. Mine thinks that a fair settlement is he gets all the assets and I get all the debt. The moral of the story is you can probably expect it to get a lot worse before it is over. And at least in my state, he can drag it out forever. We have no children, few assets and a lot of debt and it has been almost 2 years now and there has been zero negotiation on his part. My question now is what happened to the man I married because the person I am dealing with now is not him.

Good luck and stay strong.


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

littlejaz - It is amazing how much crap I have put up with during the whole separation and divorce process from this delusional man. He had 2 affairs, lies about anything, has no remorse, blames me for everything in his life, completely ignores his child and tries to state that I stole piles of money from him. I would love to know where these piles of money are. 

I don't bother to argue any longer with him but it just delays the process more and more. He has no money poor as a church mouse but manages to get naive desparate wo,men to pay his way and loan him money. Has not complied with court clerk on necessary paperwork and since self employeed jerks them off. Accountant has severed ties with him, all family, friends have gone. I contacted his brother today to look at my child's college fund and make sure he is not allowed to withdraw money. Brother told me no unless I die, then he would have rights as custodian to withdraw. HIS OWN BROTHER tells me that he will send me a form to change beneficiary and advised me to do that to protect the account and my daughter. 

With all that he has lost and all that he will lose if future, he still tries to justify his affairs and tries to convince people what a monster I am.

Pathetic. Counting down the days till freedom!!


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## ICLH (Dec 26, 2013)

That is what confuses me. I did nothing to betray him or delude the vows I took yet I'm the one that ruined the marriage. After I found out about him and the OW and spoke up about what he was doing he had the nerve to tell me that I must have forgotten that we are still married and his name is my name. He wanted to know if I realized what I was putting the families through and how I was ruining his family name. How? I'm not the one initiating sex with other people while I'm still married and living under the same roof. It's truly unbelievable what comes out of their mouths when divorce is on the horizon. I don't even need to try to ruin his last name. He's doing a good enough job on his own.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Probably p!sses him off more that he's getting so little reaction from you. Keep it up and try to laugh at the idiocy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

HOLY CRAP.........you killed JFK! i knew it


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## Costa (Nov 24, 2012)

I remember when i was going through divorce, it was the same thing. My ex showed the most cruel, worst and meanest side of himself during that time. It hurt like hell but later on i was grateful for it - because it only made moving on easier. Now i am happy he is outta my life!


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