# Waking Up One's Spouse with Foreplay to Have Sex



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I'm curious because of this thread. In case you don't want to read it, a man was at a party with his girlfriend and he got really drunk so passed out. He woke up with her on top of him, having sex with him. He was a virgin prior to this and he felt raped at the end of this experience. 

It got me thinking because whether we're sober or intoxicated, both myself and my partner have woken each other up with foreplay and then once the other is awake, have sex. We've never talked about it but since it's something we've both done sporadically for eleven years, so I feel safe to assume that neither one of us feels violated by it and it's fair game for either of us. I'm curious to hear about other people's takes on this (not the linked thread but on wake-up sex in general).

When answering this question, think about marriage or long-term relationships where you've known each other for some time and have already established a sexual relationship (not a first or third-date scenario). 

Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?


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## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

I would LOVE that if it happened. I had an old girlfriend that one time was giving me a blowjob to wake me up. That was cool... I wihs my wife did that to me .. I would do it to her if she wasnt so attached to her sleeping ..LOL


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Miss Taken said:


> Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?


SO often wakes me up for sex. I don't mind it a bit -- in fact, I find it incredibly sexy. It's usually on the weekends when no one has to get up early in the morning (he is very respectful in that regard) and its never a long drawn out session -- a powerful quickie and then we both fall right back to sleep in eachother's arms.

I feel a powerful connection when it happens.

I would wake him up more and do the same, but honestly I am a VERY deep sleeper and rarely wake up.

The incident in the other thread is completely different; I would feel completely violated if someone was having sex with me while drunk and passed out (although I don't get drunk and pass out, so it would never happen anyway :rofl


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## Convection (Apr 20, 2013)

Both Lady Convection and I have woken the other for sex with foreplay. Neither of us minds. But unlike the other thread, we've also clearly discussed it and made sure we're both okay with it. And in the event that one us tells the other to stop or wait until morning, we do.

Neither of us certainly feels violated; this is my wife and she should have a fair amount of access to my body (and vice versa). The most I have felt is annoyance on days when I am exhausted and just want to rest - and then I make it up to her as soon as I am coherent again.

Respect and communication.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

We occasionally have 'wake up sex'. 

Not very often, maybe once a month or less. 

It's fine with me and enjoyable for once in a while.
Not a lot because the next day you might be dragging a bit.

Never would feel violated though.

That's an odd reaction from a guy I think.

Most guys I think it would be a delicious fantasy!


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## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

Mu wife and i use to do that. Somehow it changed. But honestly, that would make my day.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

I personally don't like wake up sex - I can't get turned on like that when I've just woken up so would prefer to be left alone. However, I have in the past woken boyfriends up with a BJ which has always gone down well - usually in the middle of the night, rather than in the morning. When I was with my last partner we didn't have sex for quite a while (it was me that didn't want it because the rest of the relationship was in such bad shape). I woke up one night, totally turned on and at the point of orgasm and still wonder to this day if he was "fiddling" with me while I was asleep. He did used to try wake up sex now and again, only for me to leap out of bed in horror once I was actually awake. Sorry, not for me wake up sex - just don't get any pleasure out of it.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

My W and I both initiate foreplay while the other is asleep. Hard to do when we are both asleep but sometimes not unusual to find my W hand in a certain spot. Anyway... She is a night person and will start foreplay that culminates in sex. I'm a morning guy that starts foreplay that culminates in sex. And eggs, toast and sausage.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

It's never happened in our house. 

I think I would feel self conscious about being clean, if he did it to me. 

And I'd like to do it to him, but honestly when I sleep I'm kind of groggy and not all there. lol. So I've never been able to wake up, and think well enough to do it. I love my sleep.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Convection said:


> Both Lady Convection and I have woken the other for sex with foreplay. Neither of us minds. But unlike the other thread, we've also clearly discussed it and made sure we're both okay with it. And in the event that one us tells the other to stop or wait until morning, we do.
> 
> Neither of us certainly feels violated; this is my wife and she should have a fair amount of access to my body (and vice versa). The most I have felt is annoyance on days when I am exhausted and just want to rest - and then I make it up to her as soon as I am coherent again.
> 
> Respect and communication.


This is pretty much like us. Except, we've never really discussed it. It's just something we've always done with either of us being the initiator ever since we've been together. There's only been one or two times that one of us opted to keep sleeping because we were just too tired. Lately though, this wake-up sex has been happening more in our house. With a ten and two year old, if they're both sleeping it's potential game time... gotta take it when you can have it lol.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

My husband has woken me out of a sound sleep many times and I've always enjoyed it. I just wish I didn't have to halt the action to empty my bladder first. Damn bladder!

One time he woke me with a fast and furious one. When it was finished I giggled and told him I don't know what I did to make him mad but I'd be happy to do it again!

I've woken him out of a sound sleep many times, and the only reason why I like this better is because I have already emptied my bladder.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I wish we did this more. I am always game


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I've woken my wife up on occasion--didn't seem to be an issue. She has not done this herself, but I'd be open to it.

As has been stated previously, it's been discussed beforehand and cleared as acceptable, so it's not in the same camp as the guy who got drunk.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
Couples should make it clear whether or not they want this - people are different.

Its part of the whole "assumed consent" question, what is and isn't it OK for your partner to do without warning. Just be sure everyone is on the same page, and you only don things you partner wants.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I know better than to wake my wife when she's sleeping, even for sex  She's made it clear she wouldn't mind at all, but I've never really tested that out...besides, it's most likely only been six or eight hours since the last time we had sex anyway.

I am almost always awake and up and about before she is, so she very rarely has the chance to wake me with foreplay and sex. She has actually set her alarm a few times to purposefully be awake before me, to wake me that way. The problem I have is as I become more aware and awake, I realize what she is doing, know she gave up her sleeping time, know that she'd like to be asleep, and I end up going soft. Frustrating as hell for both of us. 

We do have morning sex most weekends after we're both awake. With her work schedule change, and her having to get up earlier, it's becoming more regular during the week as well.


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

Darn it, another thread to remind me of what has been missing in my marriage.

:cussing:


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

Miss Taken said:


> I'm curious because of this thread. In case you don't want to read it, a man was at a party with his girlfriend and he got really drunk so passed out. He woke up with her on top of him, having sex with him. He was a virgin prior to this and he felt raped at the end of this experience.
> 
> It got me thinking because whether we're sober or intoxicated, both myself and my partner have woken each other up with foreplay and then once the other is awake, have sex. We've never talked about it but since it's something we've both done sporadically for eleven years, so I feel safe to assume that neither one of us feels violated by it and it's fair game for either of us. I'm curious to hear about other people's takes on this (not the linked thread but on wake-up sex in general).
> 
> ...


No. My hubby would know never to do that to me. If I'm asleep, it's because I want to sleep, so he better not touch me sexually. The other thing, too, is that I'm asleep so how can I consent to him touching me sexually. That would be taking advantage of me. It just feels icky.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Love doing this but love even more to get my BBB. 

Just about every Sunday morning back rub till I'm awake, blowjob, then bacon and eggs for breakfast. Awesome


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I just want to add that my ex NEVER did this.

The first time my SO woke me up for sex, I was so caught off guard. Didn't have a clue what was happening . I quickly figured it out . 

I enjoy these nocturnal/early morning "escapades"... they're usually fast and furious pounding, b*ng-me-into-tomorrow moments... LOVE IT! :smthumbup: They're a regular weekend occurrence around here.


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## CardReader (Aug 15, 2014)

Waking each other up with sex has been a hit ot miss for us. 

I use to try and wake Mr. CR to blow jobs in the morning but he didn't seem crazy about it. He usually needs to go to the bathroom pretty badly in the mornings. But during the middle of the night, he's usually game for it. Or after he's been up for a few minutes and done his business/slightly more awake.

He's tried to do that with me in the morning, but I gotta go to the bathroom too. It's hard to enjoy when I'm worried about peeing. Lol 

He's tried to wake me up to sex during the night but that only works out half of the time. Most recent time he tried I was so groggy and confused. One of his hands was down there, the other up at my chest. But I felt a third hand on my stomach, so I reached down to see if it was his package and it wasn't. But I still felt like there had been a third hand lol. So I started freaking out (kept it to myself) and thought maybe he brought someone home for a three way. I was scared to look behind him to see if someone else was there, it was pitch black in the bedroom. Finally I ended up asking him if someone else was in the bed and asking who did the third hand belong too. I was adamant about feeling like I was being touched in three places. Lol. He thought I was crazy. 

After that, no more nighttime wakeups for me.


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

I feel very uncomfortable about the thought of my H touching me sexually without my consent. Sometimes he tries to wake me up by kissing me on the neck or caressing me, but I always ask him to stop because I'm trying to sleep.


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## MrsFrench (Sep 9, 2014)

My husband actually "suffers" from mild Sexsomnia (yes, this is a thing). He will initiate sexual content to varying degrees while he is actually asleep, and not remember doing it the following morning, or wake up during confused. I don't take advantage of these moments, occasionally I will allow him to shove my hand down his boxers and entertain his subconscious until I can wake him up, but I get nothing out of it. This sometimes leads to him already being awake and "upright", and if I happen to be awake enough and in the mood, then why not. 

On the more directly related topic though, yes, we've woken each other up with foreplay. Typically it's me caressing his chest if I'm lying on it, or him caressing my thigh if we are spooning, and we can tell when the other person is beginning to wake up - at which point, we attempt further contact. Sometimes, the other party is too tired, other times, we have night sex. 

I think it's normal, natural, and definitely okay - as long as the other person is fully aware and awake by the time things get serious, and obviously hasn't asked you not to try while they are asleep at any point.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

thetiredmommy said:


> I feel very uncomfortable about the thought of my H touching me sexually without my consent. Sometimes he tries to wake me up by kissing me on the neck or caressing me, but I always ask him to stop because I'm trying to sleep.


Do you require the consent to be written on a "per occurrence" basis? Or do you allow him longer periods of consent, such as a week or month? Since your relationship is so egalitarian, do you also ask for HIS consent? Mmmm, just sounds so romantic and spontaneous!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Do you require the consent to be written on a "per occurrence" basis? Or do you allow him longer periods of consent, such as a week or month? Since your relationship is so egalitarian, do you also ask for HIS consent? Mmmm, just sounds so romantic and spontaneous!


:rofl:


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

When I was totally unattracted to my husband, I hated when he would try to wake me up for sex. It was pretty much the only time he paid attention to me.

Things are better so now I don't mind it.


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## MrsFrench (Sep 9, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Do you require the consent to be written on a "per occurrence" basis? Or do you allow him longer periods of consent, such as a week or month? Since your relationship is so egalitarian, do you also ask for HIS consent? Mmmm, just sounds so romantic and spontaneous!


:smnotworthy:


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Do you require the consent to be written on a "per occurrence" basis? Or do you allow him longer periods of consent, such as a week or month? Since your relationship is so egalitarian, do you also ask for HIS consent? Mmmm, just sounds so romantic and spontaneous!



:iagree:
Wifey and I give each other blanket consent to each other. Isn't that what marriage is about?


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Do you require the consent to be written on a "per occurrence" basis? Or do you allow him longer periods of consent, such as a week or month? Since your relationship is so egalitarian, do you also ask for HIS consent? Mmmm, just sounds so romantic and spontaneous!


Well I don't like the idea of being fondled while I'm asleep. Why is that so bad? Of course it's ok if he initiates when I'm awake because then I can let him continue or tell him if it's not a good time.


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

CardReader said:


> Waking each other up with sex has been a hit ot miss for us.
> 
> I use to try and wake Mr. CR to blow jobs in the morning but he didn't seem crazy about it. He usually needs to go to the bathroom pretty badly in the mornings. But during the middle of the night, he's usually game for it. Or after he's been up for a few minutes and done his business/slightly more awake.


You don't mind giving him blow jobs? My husband has asked that I do something like this spontaneously, but it just seems weird.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

thetiredmommy said:


> You don't mind giving him blow jobs? My husband has asked that I do something like this spontaneously, but it just seems weird.


Somehow I just knew this was coming. What did your mom say when you asked her about it? She think it was weird too?


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> Somehow I just knew this was coming. What did your mom say when you asked her about it? She think it was weird too?


No, we don't talk about that. I just don't like the idea of fluids being in my mouth. No matter how well he cleans his penis, there could still be pee on it, right? I will do it sometimes when he's asked a few times, but I make sure to put a flavored condom on.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

FYI- urine is very sterile


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

thetiredmommy said:


> No, we don't talk about that. I just don't like the idea of fluids being in my mouth. No matter how well he cleans his penis, there could still be pee on it, right? I will do it sometimes when he's asked a few times, but I make sure to put a flavored condom on.


Sexy.


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## thetiredmommy (Sep 10, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Sexy.


Why can't it be sexy?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Sexy.


Only if the consent form, filled out in triplicate has little pink lacy swirly things on it...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

wearing a condom while getting a blowjob = not sexy.

having to ask over and over before getting a crappy condom covered bj = not sexy.

Getting a condom covered bj from a wife who is overly squeamish about bodily fluids = not sexy.

Now, why was it your husband was working out again?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

It's sexy time!


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?


We have in the past, yes. We would wake each other up occasionally for a nice roll in the hay and it was great. We both enjoyed it. Although, now with a toddler who is a bad sleeper, he knows better than to wake me up. I need my sleep(son has been waking up at night again) and would be upset if he woke me up for sex.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> wearing a condom while getting a blowjob = not sexy.
> 
> having to ask over and over before getting a crappy condom covered bj = not sexy.
> 
> ...


C'mon WoM....

Disinfect all bodily parts in the lower region with Clorox, strap on the condom (and if he's going to reciprocate, break out the dental dam), climb into the hazmat suit, turn the air purifier on high... then blow away! What's NOT sexy about THAT?!

:rofl:


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

Sometimes I can't sleep, or I get called out to work, coming home very late (3 or 4 in the morning)...my girlfriend actually requested that I wake her up for sex. I felt bad the first few times, but she really loves it, so I still do it. Basically, she will always prefer that I wake her for sex than masturbate. 

Sometimes I'd honestly just prefer to masturbate and go to sleep, but she is constantly reaching out for me while she sleeps, and she will always wake up in an instant, ready to go. 

She's really a dream come true in this department, and I only wish I knew her in my twenties. 

1st world problems.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> C'mon WoM....
> 
> Disinfect all bodily parts in the lower region with Clorox, strap on the condom, climb into the hazmat suit, turn the air purifier on high... then blow away! What's NOT sexy about THAT?!
> 
> :rofl:


I'm pretty sure you talking to me that way constitutes an emotional affair. I advise that you confess to your spouse and send me an NC letter, asap!

#soturnedon


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'm pretty sure you talking to me that way constitutes an emotional affair. I advise that you confess to your spouse and send me an NC letter, asap!
> 
> #soturnedon


:rofl:

Don't worry WoM... I'm sure we've already been "reported", mods are already on it, we will both likely be *banned* before the day is out.

Another TAM storm is a'brewin'...... 

P.S. Not only did my SO just send you a NC PM (he doesn't even have a TAM account so not sure how he accomplished THAT), he also sent you a "cease and desist" PM....


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

:banhim:


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

I quite enjoy morning/night/wakeup activities. Wife doesn't though, she needs coffee first.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Redheadguy said:


> I quite enjoy morning/night/wakeup activities. Wife doesn't though, she needs coffee first.


Hand her a cup of java at 3 a.m. just before you b*ng her!

Problem solved...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

tell her you swallowed caffeine pills and she has to blow you to get some herself


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> Hand her a cup of java at 3 a.m. just before you b*ng her!
> 
> Problem solved...


good thinking, but it would get me punched out.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

happy as a clam said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Don't worry WoM... I'm sure we've already been "reported", mods are already on it, we will both likely be *banned* before the day is out.
> 
> ...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Deejo said:


>


If it's 10 to 5 in San Diego, wouldn't it be 10 to 8 in New York?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mmm...I like being woken up for some hanky panky. 

It's hot when someone's over you and you can feel them and they're all GOOD MORNING (good morning indeed.


thetiredmommy said:


> Why can't it be sexy?


A covered-up-in-condom-blow job is the antithesis to sexy.



Almostrecovered said:


> It's sexy time!


:rofl:


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## MrsFrench (Sep 9, 2014)

thetiredmommy said:


> Well I don't like the idea of being fondled while I'm asleep. Why is that so bad? Of course it's ok if he initiates when I'm awake because then I can let him continue or tell him if it's not a good time.


Because we are talking about _initiating _some foreplay (or really, pre-foreplay). It's not like our husbands penetrate us and get their rocks off while we are PTFO. (Or wives, for the men who have commented). It just sounds really bizarre how creeped out you are by the idea of having your husband wake you up for sex. 

*Shaking* Hey. You. Wife. Wake up. Want to do it?...wouldn't really work for me. I greatly prefer some nuzzling, neck kissing, thigh stroking, boobie fondling. 



thetiredmommy said:


> No, we don't talk about that. I just don't like the idea of fluids being in my mouth. *No matter how well he cleans his penis*, there could still be pee on it, right? I will do it sometimes when he's asked a few times, but I make sure to put a flavored condom on.


Is this for real? I can completely understand wanting to have your partner clean himself prior to engaging in oral sex, but the concept that he is incapable of rinsing any possible urine from his penis is completely absurd. Do you really think the rest of us go down on our men and just think, oh, hey - pee - no big deal, yummy! ??


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

MrsFrench said:


> Is this for real? I can completely understand wanting to have your partner clean himself prior to engaging in oral sex, but the concept that he is incapable of rinsing any possible urine from his penis is completely absurd. Do you really think the rest of us go down on our men and just think, oh, *hey - pee - no big deal*, yummy! ??


Uh yep. I can guarantee men (well the hetero men) run into more unexpected things than women do. Women don't run the risk of finding the occasional urine soaked TP bits that men find.

I don't say 'yummy' but do think it's no big deal.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> wearing a condom while getting a blowjob = not sexy.


My Gray would just turn that down flat. AYFKM?


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

I'm too far into my own bliss of watching her eyes roll into the back of her head to think much about what she tastes like.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

thetiredmommy said:


> No, we don't talk about that. I just don't like the idea of fluids being in my mouth. No matter how well he cleans his penis, there could still be pee on it, right? I will do it sometimes when he's asked a few times, but I make sure to put a flavored condom on.


Tired - Do you REALLY want to change your marriage??

Sometime as your husband is getting out of the shower, (everything nice & clean!), walk in, throw a towel on the floor to cushion your knees, drop & give him a enthusiastic bj. When your done, get up, give him a kiss & tell him how much you appreciate him. (hopefully he hasn't already taken care of himself) If he doesn't pass out & hit his head on the tub in shock, you will have ROCKED his world. It's what spouses are supposed to do for the person they stood at the alter with. He will be more than motivated to ROCK your world, in whatever fashion that is.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

FrazzledSadHusband said:


> Tired - Do you REALLY want to change your marriage??
> 
> Sometime as your husband is getting out of the shower, (everything nice & clean!), walk in, throw a towel on the floor to cushion your knees, drop & give him a enthusiastic bj. When your done, get up, give him a kiss & tell him how much you appreciate him. If he doesn't pass out & hit his head on the tub in shock, you will have ROCKED his world. It's what spouses are supposed to do for the person they stood at the alter with. He will be more than motivated to ROCK your world, in whatever fashion that is.


That would be great! Sadly I can't imagine any universe where she will do anything even close to that.

Actually I can't imagine any universe where my wife would either.


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## Vivid (Aug 28, 2014)

I think it's fine unless someone has specifically said they don't want it. I know it can be a trigger for some women who've been sexually assaulted for example. Men too, I suppose.

I love it personally. Both as the initiator and the initiatee


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> That would be great! Sadly I can't imagine any universe where she will do anything even close to that.
> 
> Actually I can't imagine any universe where my wife would either.


She sounds so much like my wife. Just trying to save her the pain of having her husband finally get so frustrated that she ends up divorced.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have many many times over the years woke my husband for some playtime...spooning, rocking up against him... fondling him...going down, kissing his chest.... he never denies me.. .. I've always felt welcomed with open arms...

I may even ask him... "am I bothering you....tell me true".. and he always replies "You never bother me"... or something to that effect..if the light was on, I know he'd be smiling... 

Honestly if he gave me attitude or didn't like this.. it would really bother me personally... I never have to look over at him and think (with a glance at the clock) he is OFF LIMITS TO MY TOUCH, my loving him. 

I've even thanked him, gushing how much I appreciate these things about him..because it does mean that much to me..

Likewise.. I would be up for him ANYTIME.. baring sickness and being TOO tired... (of course we both respect that)...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I have to say that our problems over the years may have to do with this exact topic, although not in the way you might think. Actually for our first 4 or 5 years together I think that middle of the night wakeup sex was the only kind we had. We basically went straight from dating sex to that without ever really learning to communicate or be open about it. I guess wakeup sex was just our normal. I never even knew who was initiating, and I don't think either of us really learned how to initiate outside of that context.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> wearing a condom while getting a blowjob = not sexy.
> 
> having to ask over and over before getting a crappy condom covered bj = not sexy.
> 
> ...


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## seattle_stranger (Nov 4, 2014)

I would always be down for wake up sex if I didn't have two problems:

- Feel too groggy and 'out of it' when half awake
- Insecure about lasting long enough

I've always had an issue with lasting. I feel like at any given time I could probably just think myself into ejaculating spontaneously. My fiancee of 8 years and I still sometimes have trouble with me just being a little too excited to 'get there'. Normally, before sex, I mentally ready myself, I might even have a drink of wine or something to ease my mind, and then go into it with the proper mindstate, ready to try and counteract that impulsive two-pump-chumpedness. When I'm woken up out of sleep, I have no time to mentally prepare myself, I'm groggy already, so one of three things happens...

- I fend her off and say "not now", wake myself up a bit more, and then re-initiate (so lame)
- She manages to get too far along before I can stop her, and she finishes me off almost instantly (lamer)
- I miraculously find the courage to last and make it happen

I think one problem is we honestly don't have sex often enough. When we start doing it days in succession, I find it much easier to control my O (obviously).


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