# This is for the hetero men. Would you date a woman if she had a purely sexual relationship with one or more of your friends in the past?



## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

You don't have to answer in the thread. I made a poll because I figured people would be more honest if their answer was anonymous. I thought people would give a more politically correct answer if I didn't. If yes, no, or the third option why or why not if you aren't afraid of making your answer public.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

No.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

It would depend for me.

Definitely maybe though I have way better taste in women than my friends and the likelihood of them dating one of my conquests would be far more likely.

I wouldn't have a problem with it if they did.

A lot of my sex buddies were really nice girls.


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

RandomDude said:


> No.
> 
> View attachment 72079


Is it really an ex if they weren't romantically involved?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

BruceBanner said:


> Is it really an ex if they weren't romantically involved?


Who knows if they were or weren't, guys talk tough all the time. Rather save myself the drama and go elsewhere.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

I agree about unnecessary drama.
It would depend on the situation, but more than likely, no.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

So they were just **** buddies? I probably wouldn't.

Back when we were teenagers, my brother ****ed my ex immediately after I broke up with her (he didn't know we were broken up, great brother). I would never be able to touch her again. It's just icky to me and the image of them together is still burned into my memory.

But... Last year a friend I've had for 20 years had a ONS to lose his virginity (yeah, in his mid-30's). I knew about it, didn't care and slept with that woman a month later when I took the "if my wife can sleep around so can I" route. It's a weird and awkward feeling when I see that guy, and neither of us have anything to do with her now. Other friends also love to make jokes about it. I can't imagine dating her and bringing her around that guy and other friends...

It'd be too awkward and uncomfortable for me, and the potential for drama just isn't worth it.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Not only have I dated someone who has had a sexual relationship with a friend of mine in the past, I have had a sexual relationship with them as well

For example it turned out one of my sexual partners, had dated one of my friends in the past. I didn't know it at the time I asked her on our first date, or until I had sex with her on a number of occasions. Yet it turned out she not only knew my friend, she had dated him very briefly and had sex with him as well.

I was fine with it since I've never thought such things matter one way or the other. That isn't politically correct or otherwise, it's just I don't care about it (shrug). This also cuts both ways as well.



I have also shared sex with a few women who I was an acquaintance of one of their previous sexual partners.

I've also participated in one sexual fivesome, until I sobered up, changed my mind and then returned to the barracks. Plus I've had sex with four different women seperately to the fivesome, in front of friends as well when I was 17 and 21.

One woman who I dated and had sex with, then went on to date one of my friends later on. Before I started dating her again albeit briefly a few years later.

I shared sex on one occasion, with one woman at the beginning of her separation from her ex-husband. I was friends with her first and she was married when I met her, yet I also became friends with her husband as well before their marriage collapsed. Awhile after that I lost touch with her, until I met her by random chance years later while away with the Army, when I was married to my current wife. I Then spent the night at hers platonically catching up, and then met her fiancée in the morning. Later on my wife and I spent a few days at their place together and also went to their wedding. I have no idea if her husband knows we played together, yet my wife knows that I did, I think they're great together and he is a terrific guy.

Even one of my friends from school when he was 17, shared sex with one of my exes from when I was 16 who I had shared sex with.

At the end of the day I don't see what difference it makes, whether you have sex with someone who has had sex with a friend, acquaintance or stranger before hand.

Likewise I never thought it was a big deal that I had sex with one woman I had just met, before playing with another an hour later or the following day.

My wife was in a short lived sexual relationship with another man when we went on our first few dates and had sex. Likewise I was briefly sleeping with another women just before my wife asked me out on our first date as well.

That said I never had any drama as a consequence of sharing sex with people when I knew one of their previous sexual partners. Not that I don't think drama wasn't possible.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Ex-lover: "So, how's that loose *****?"
Me: "Virgin-tight after three inches."


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Personal said:


> Not only have I dated someone who has had a sexual relationship with a friend of mine in the past, I have had a sexual relationship with them as well
> 
> For example it turned out one of my sexual partners, had dated one of my friends in the past. I didn't know it at the time I asked her on our first date, or until I had sex with her on a number of occasions. Yet it turned out she not only knew my friend, she had dated him very briefly and had sex with him as well.
> 
> ...


Dear Penthouse.....

I joke!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Dating is dating, marrying is another matter.

You said dating and did not mention having sexual relations with her. A considerable difference.

I never dated a woman _only for sex_.

I have dated women (in this situation) a few times, when young. Some who had sexual relations with a friend or an acquaintance.

This is all part of life and living. It normally should not be a big deal. If she slept with many people you know, then, no thanks, _no snark_, just not my type.

The same question should be asked of the ladies..(would you date a guy that had sex with some of your close friends?).



_Are Dee-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Another thing...

Our loving hearts are not rational.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

My best friend in HS. I would not touch a girl with my dogs d××× after him. He screwed around alot. I once like a teen girl who had a baby. I was willing to try to step up. She was friendly with both of us. I told her how friend was with women and basically she could date him or me. She chose him and he screwed her a couple of times and was done. She then comes wining to me. Nope....I told you, and no were not going out now. You made your choice.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> My best friend in HS. I would not touch a girl with my dogs d××× after him. He screwed around alot. I once like a teen girl who had a baby. I was willing to try to step up. She was friendly with both of us. I told her how friend was with women and basically she could date him or me. She chose him and he screwed her a couple of times and was done. She then comes wining to me. Nope....I told you, and no were not going out now. You made your choice.


I answered it depends because of situations like this.

There are some girls I avoided like the plague because of who they were already with. 

I wouldn't be put off by a lady having a relationship with one of my friends that just didn't work but no real hard feelings.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

BruceBanner said:


> You don't have to answer in the thread. I made a poll because I figured people would be more honest if their answer was anonymous. I thought people would give a more politically correct answer if I didn't. If yes, no, or the third option why or why not if you aren't afraid of making your answer public.


How far in the past and how it ended would be deciding factors, as well as how close of friends are we when I meet this hypothetical woman. As a generality, the answer is yes I would, with no problem. But if there is going to be issues between her and the friend, assuming I find out early on, forget it.

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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

No sloppy seconds for me when it comes to women and friends.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It depends on many things. First, her character - and I do NOT have a problem with anyone having purely sexual relationships, unless it's an unhealthy preoccupation. Second, would my friend have an issue with me dating her? It seems unlikely, but my decision might be affected by their views if I truly value their friendship. Generally, it wouldn't be an issue for me in most cases. And I set up two of my best friends (I had a long term FWB situation with her, and we seriously considered a poly relationship too), so I know this scenario works for some other people.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Dadto2 said:


> No sloppy seconds for me when it comes to women and friends.


Firsts, yes.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Dadto2 said:


> No sloppy seconds for me when it comes to women and friends.


That would mean a virgin every time.

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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Married but Happy said:


> And I set up two of my best friends (I had a long term FWB situation with her, and we seriously considered a poly relationship too), so I know this scenario works for some other people.


My dad met my mom when his ex MIL tried to set him up with mom's roommate

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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

At a party one time when we were in our late teens one of my friends looked around and said, "You know, I've had sex with every woman in this room." I didn't actually date or even really flirt with any of them but given who my friends were, if I had that restriction, there probably wouldn't have been anyone left.

I probably wouldn't have dated someone that had been serious or long term but ONS or FWB would probably be OK (as long as it wasn't _that day_).


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I did this once. It didn't work out well.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

maquiscat said:


> That would mean a virgin every time.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


No just not after your friends.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> No just not after your friends.


If he doesn't wants seconds, then he can't have anyone who has had sex before.

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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

*"Would you date a woman" Nope*


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

maquiscat said:


> If he doesn't wants seconds, then he can't have anyone who has had sex before.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Read it again, he said not after one of his friends. From someone he does not know...no issue there.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Hey, when we were in our teens, this question would be more of a gray area.

Everyone knew who had sex with who, and it was still new and cool.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Read it again, he said not after one of his friends. From someone he does not know...no issue there.


Ok I see what you're saying. Didn't read it as such before.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I was just thinking that it's two sides of the same piece of toast. It sounds like you dated the same woman your friends did which is frowned upon in some circles. And I guess she dated you knowing that you were friends with them. So the whole situation isn't great ethically. but to me if it was only sex and no emotional attachment and your friends weren't real into her then that makes it less of a problem because they shouldn't care. If one was hung up on her then that makes you the bad guy.


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