# Does this bother anyone else?



## damonstar (Oct 28, 2011)

how do the fellas out there feel about the wifey/S.O. texting habits? she dont do it all the time, but it just kinda bugs me sometimes. i think its just insecurities on my side but not sure I logged in earlier to pay our cell phone bill then i saw her usage. today starts a new billing cycle so her usage is just from today and shes already at like 40 texts??? THIS is while shes at work, she has told me before that she cant really use their phones unless the boss aint there but then she says she crazy busy throughout the day so im like well obviously not if you been texting all morning lol. im not sure how i should feel though Its prolly her talkinig to the kids at home on summer break or her sisters but i dont know it sorta makes me wonder also....
am i wrong to have mixed emotions on this? please help, i would also like the ladys feed back as well:scratchhead:
thanks!


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I wouldn't worry about the amount of text. That's what unlimited plans are for. If it's just the kids , sisters and friends, no worry for me there either. 

If it's in excess with someone I don't know or a man, then I'd be concerned. Did you look at the statement and see the numbers?

Is that you concern or is it that she's giving to much time to others?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I communicate 99% via texts. Especially when I was at work and phone calls would not have been convenient or appropriate.

Dig up the numbers - if they're someone you don't know, dig a little deeper... If it's just family I'd let it slide unless it causes interference with face time or her job. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## damonstar (Oct 28, 2011)

@anchorwatch thats something my bill wont let me see who the text are being sent to it will only give me a call history...so i dont really know who the texts are sent to. i just assume/hope it the kids and sisters she texts. thats why i think its an insecurity on my part, she has never given me any signs or weird things that should make me even think it could be another man or anything like that i guess its just one of those things when your mind starts to think about all the possibilities and what ifs it can make you go a little crazy or at least me


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

My wife avaerages about 50 a day and works part time. I know for a fact that a majority of these are to our kids (13, 18 and 20 yrs old) and some are to me (about 5 today so far) so I wouldn't be too concerned unless they are to someone outside the marriage

I do sometimes have issues about her texting. I'm old school and tell her that while I agree to her looking at incomimg tects (in case it's a child issue) I don't always approve of her answering each one as it comes in, especially when we are out to dinner with friends or family. If it's that important, they'll call! 

Unfortunately, it isn't often I winn this argument


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

OP,

Can you see the numbers (phone #'s) that she sends/recieves texts to/from?


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## damonstar (Oct 28, 2011)

@yinprincess i cant really see the text numbers on the bill id have to actually check her phone unless theirs an app for that lol but when it is family and the kids it doest bother me at all i just get that weird thought you like what if its not he kids or family.......


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## frankieg (Jun 19, 2012)

people like to text, unless you had some prior reason to suspect something i would not worry about it too much.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Suggest you find a way of seeing the numbers. Maybe logging into your provider's website or changing the bill to be more detailed.

Also, how long has she been like this. Did it spike when the kids went on summer break? Did it go from 0 to 40 in a matter of a few weeks?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

damonstar, call you phone carrier and ask them how to see the detailed numbers for out/in going text. You probably could get them on line.

But that answers my question. Did you ask her who they were all to? Check them and and put your suspicions to bed. 

By the way, my wife and I were born before cell phones, and she text about that too.


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## damonstar (Oct 28, 2011)

@chris it actually varies sometimes a few days go by and hardly any texts showing up on the bill then sometimes alot like today for that i think it maybe just girl talk with her sisters or soemthing. and as far as seeing the number i can get her phone when i get home later (she leaves it everywhere) and look through them but i still wonder like what if shes erased something.... i think im just being insecure and driving myself crazy right now....


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

If she leaves her phone everywhere I'm going to bet this is nothing at all to be worried about.

Don't be afraid to check for your own piece of mind, though. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Can't you just look at her phone to see who she is texting?

I use text almost exclusively to coordinate with my staff at work. I manage a crew of people who are out working in the field everyday without email or computer access. Text is the only way I can communicate with all of them at once, by sending mass bulletins basically. Vs. Calling each of them in succession to say the same thing over and over again.

My work spans evenings and weekends, so sometimes the testing is happening during family time. This drives my husband up the wall. He knows who I am texting - we share phones openly (both have the same model phone) and sometimes when he is closer to my phone and I hear the alarm go off for a new text I ask him to check it for me and read it out loud. (He hates this too.)

For him, its about lack of boundaries and wanting me to cut ties with my phone when I am home from work. I get it.

She should be open with you about who she is texting if you just straight out ask her. My husband checks our bill a lot too and noticed the volume of texts I send, and said something to me about it. All he said was, I noticed you text a lot, be careful not to run over our limit (we didn't have unlimited at the time). I know him well enough to know that he was a little worried about what I was doing, and that he was fishing for me to volunteer information to make him feel better...so I did. I handed him my phone and basocally said, look at the insanity I am dealing with, go ahead and read it. And he did. I just wanted him to know 100% nothing shady was going on. I would expect your wife to do the same if she has nothing to hide.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

damonstar said:


> @chris it actually varies sometimes a few days go by and hardly any texts showing up on the bill then sometimes alot like today for that i think it maybe just girl talk with her sisters or soemthing. and as far as seeing the number i can get her phone when i get home later (she leaves it everywhere) and look through them but i still wonder like what if shes erased something.... i think im just being insecure and driving myself crazy right now....


You know if she only has ten texts in her outgoing when you check her phone you're REALLY gonna be paranoid.


I can't imagine 40 texts a day but I'm old school and know nobody.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Toffer said:


> I don't always approve of her answering each one as it comes in, especially when we are out to dinner with friends or family. If it's that important, they'll call!
> 
> Unfortunately, it isn't often I winn this argument


Wow, you and me both. It drives me nuts when we take the steps to a nice restaurant and they spend half the time texting their friends.

But I forebear, I forebear...


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## OneLoveXo (Jun 5, 2012)

Unless your wife is showing other signs, I wouldn't be concerned, if you are having less and less sex. if she is being over protective over her phone/FB than I would investigate a lil more just in case. 

Having said that, it's oober normal to text that much. I hate talking on the phone, so all I do is a text, I text way more than she does. My bf always asks who I text, and coming to think of it I would think that to, but it happens, I just text a lot with coworkers/friends/etc. And I am as faithful as it gets, I don't even talk to my ex's or any guys unless they are my gay guy friends.

So I wouldn't worry about it or think much of it unless you have other suspisions.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

It used to bother me. I got super insecure for awhile because I couldn't imagine who she could possibly be texting so much to. I asked her for her phone one day and she tosses it to me and the texts are basically just conversations to friends and family.

I realized a relatively short conversation could generate alot of texts. I just ignore it now.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Toffer said:


> I don't always approve of her answering each one as it comes in, especially when we are out to dinner with friends or family. If it's that important, they'll call!
> 
> Unfortunately, it isn't often I winn this argument


She's being rude. There's not even an argument to be made. How do you not win it?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I am usually told that she needs to be sure it isn't a kid issue and what the heck, she already opened it so why not answer it with a short text?

It's usually not worth winning that battle when we're out with others and losing the war either way.

I usually try to get the point across subtlely and say something like "who are you texting with so much? Can it wait until after dinner?"


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