# I hate my ex-husband



## Nomorebeans

He's still trickling the truth to me instead of full disclosure.

Let me just preface my rant below by saying yes, I'm still angry, yes I'm still hurt, and yes I may never stop still being bitter that he left me for an OW he's had a long distance relationship with since last September, who he is now moving down here permanently to our same town, 10 minutes away, next week, when our 13yo DS still hasn't even met her.

First he tells me in February after I found out about her that he barely knew her, and so wasn't going to rush into a serious relationship with her. Then I found texts on his phone where they'd shared photos of rings and wedding venues. Then, he swore he wouldn't rush into marriage with her or even moving her down here too soon after we divorced - again reiterating that he barely knew her and wanted to date her for at least a year before doing any of that. Then, he tells me last weekend that she's moving down "at the end of this month." Then, he tells me today that on Tuesday, he's flying up to where she is and driving with her back down here, which I know is a two-day drive.

I asked him if he'd be home by Friday evening, because our son has a basketball game Friday night and another one on Saturday. (He had told me when we signed him up for the city league in June that he'd take to to "almost every game and practice - the only ones I'll miss are when I'm working.")

He goes, "Oh, well, actually, we're not going to drive back until Saturday. She's planned a dinner and has a doctor's appointment or something."

He's calling in sick for his first trip on the new airplane so he can spend three days with her before driving back. He couldn't call in sick for a routine trip 25 years ago when we were first married and I got word my Mom had died suddenly. Actually, he could have gotten that trip dropped for bereavement and not lose any sick time, and he refused.

But he'll miss his son's first two games of the season and call in sick for her.

Yes, I'm angry, yes, I'm hurt, yes, im bitter. And yes, I hate this "man."


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## brooklynAnn

Hang in there girl. Karma is a ***** and when she comes calling, there is hell to pay. For tonight cuss his stupid dumb inconsiderate ass out. Tomorrow is a new day, live it up.


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## BlueWoman

Yep, your ex is an a$$. I hate people like him. I really do.


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## JohnA

Yep, in his world everything is normal, everything health. Of course his son is happy he is missing his first two games, since it make him happy to be with her. Why can't you be happy for them women? Can't we all just be friends. Come on let's all join hands and sing. 

Nomorebeans, stop expecting him to stop being who he is. You know what he will say and do 90 percent of the time. Christ your ex could be the twin of my Sibs ex. You both need to understand even a serial killer understands electricity. Do not respond in anger, it is really simple if then statement. Jump off the empire state building, enjoy the ride down. Screw around with submitting medical claims, child support, etc, 48 hrs I will file in court. It is that simple. He is not your husband, he fired you. His problems come a distant second to your sons needs. 

Any response to this type of behavior reads "you have failed your son again". With no pleading or response to his triads that follow.


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## Nomorebeans

He tells me tonight that he's "getting pressure from both sides" - that she says she must not mean that much to him that it's taken so long for him to be with her permanently, and that he jumps whenever I tell him to. WHAT??? He rushed this divorce through so he could be with her and I didn't stand in his way, and I did everything to further it along that I was asked to do when I was asked, to the point that HIS lawyer wrote me a (literally hand-written) note he enclosed with the final divorce decree thanking me for my patience, consideration, and cooperation, and the ex told me that his lawyer said when they last saw each other at the hearing that in all his years of family law, he had never seen a more amicable divorce.

Then he laments that he's been trying to consider both of our feelings and clearly he has failed, and that he guesses that'll just be his life from now on - that he disappoints both of us.

Um, no. Just one "of us." I'm not part of this "us" triangle anymore. I'm out. Enjoy your straight line to Hell with someone who obviously feels so entitled that what she wants, as someone who knowingly threw herself at a man who had been married for 25 years with a child, matters more than anything or anyone else, including that man and that child. Let me know how that works out for you.


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## warshaw

If you're out of this triangle then why do you sit there and listen to him when he "trickle truths" you.

You should not be listening to anything he has to say at this point.


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## honeysuckle04

Because being out like everything else doesn't happen over night. Being 10, 15 or twenty years or more married and the head knowing what the heart refuses to acknowledge doesn't help the body exit any faster. 

I hope when she does get there you can look her straight in the face with her fake teeth and know that neither of them are worthy of your time, effort or emotions. 

It will get better, just not today. Use your anger and go do the plank thing you can do for so long.


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## warshaw

I get that it takes time to completely extricate oneself from the effects of a long term relationship.

I'm simply suggesting that she ACT differently in order to aid her extrication. 

There is NO reason for her to be having conversations with this man about anything other than the children.


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## Nomorebeans

Thank you, HS. I just did the plank for almost 90 seconds, after not practicing it for over two months. When I first started trying it in February, I couldn't hold it for 10 seconds without shaking all over. This just showed me I'm still strong, when I've been feeling like hammered sh!t for the last few weeks.

I wish I could go full on NC with my ex, but we have a son, he is a good father for the most part, and I want them to continue to have a good relationship. That said, I know I need to get better at The 180 and being all business with him. In all honesty, I've been holding on to a ghost. It serves no purpose to let him know how I feel at this stage, other than to validate in his desperate-to-blameshift mind the need to leave me in the first place.


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## Nomorebeans

You're not off-base, warshaw. The conversation did stem, though, from one we were having about our son's basketball schedule this week - for a league his Dad insisted he rejoin, when our son didn't care one way or the other about doing that this year at the onset. And now his Dad is missing a practice and his first two games this week because the OW said "Jump!" 

I know - the 180 says I should agree with everything he says and does, and be pleasant and nonchalant while doing it. I've been doing that for six months, and where has it gotten me? I continue to lose sleep and weight, while his only consequence is he "feels pressure (which he's largely created for himself) from both sides."


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## JohnA

First tell him you don't care about his feelings towards you. In my life the only actions and feelings that should concern you are son's. You failed to keep your promise to him. You need to make clear to your son that he has a mother and only one. The only thing the OW is owed is basic courtesy. 

ps check out otter's thread. The two of you could write about stupid things a WS can do. Is his ex the long lost twin of your Ex.


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## happy as a clam

"Hate" is a strong emotion, Beans. If you're not careful, it'll eat you up.

Try to move towards indifference. Then whatever he says and does will roll off your back, like water off a duck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jane139

Let him have his future ex-wife. No way in hell that marriage works out, if she is already pushing him to remarry. Doesn't this woman have anyone to talk sense into her? She needs a shaking. Or maybe she deserves this lout you are free of. Let them have each other, they seem to share a similar "me, me, me" view of life. Be well rid of him. Your son will soon figures things out for himself.


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## BlueWoman

Maybe I'm wrong, but I am pretty sure the OP was a vent. 

All I can say, is when I was venting and the response was to tell me how to feel or how to behave, I just wanted to punch whoever said it in the the face. Nomore, your ex did you wrong. He's a jerk. And if right now you hate him, I can't say I blame you. Tomorrow marks 1 year from the day we signed the divorce papers. And I am a million times better than I was then. But I still don't wish for good things to happen. I am still hurt and angry with him. It doesn't take up most of my day, the way it used to. But it's still there. I don't miss him at all. But I miss what I thought my life was. 

Quite frankly, I don't think there is anything you can do to stop hating this man right now. I hate him with you. But hang in there. It does get better. I promise. 

But our ex's are POS's!


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## Pluto2

Yep. Crappy dad.

You still said he's basically a good father. I call BS on that. A good father wouldn't call in sick, miss his son's first two games to go see a skank that he's moving down here without his son ever meeting her. That's not how good parents behave.


My oldest DD calls her father a sperm donor, and that's about as much thought as he ever gets from her. He's earned it. He has no contact with her, didn't acknowledge or attend her HS graduation, and blamed her for his bad choices. She will have none of that. My younger one is not as curt as her sibling, but does point out that he isn't part of her life by his choice. I am over his serial cheating, but his douche-bag de-parenting is that gift that keeps on giving. I'm working on it. 

So stop those conversations with him when he talks about pressure from both sides. He's fishing for sympathy and hasn't earned a drop of it. The next time he raises anything about his life with skank I want you to literally cut him off-say "Excuse me, I have no interest in your personnel issues."
Then find ways to channel that anger into something more constructive. Do you have any projects that involve a hammer? Good-gosh that helps.


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## kristin2349

BlueWoman said:


> Maybe I'm wrong, but I am pretty sure the OP was a vent.
> 
> *All I can say, is when I was venting and the response was to tell me how to feel or how to behave, I just wanted to punch whoever said it in the the face. Nomore, your ex did you wrong.* He's a jerk. And if right now you hate him, I can't say I blame you. Tomorrow marks 1 year from the day we signed the divorce papers. And I am a million times better than I was then. But I still don't wish for good things to happen. I am still hurt and angry with him. It doesn't take up most of my day, the way it used to. But it's still there. I don't miss him at all. But I miss what I thought my life was.
> 
> Quite frankly, I don't think there is anything you can do to stop hating this man right now. I hate him with you. But hang in there. It does get better. I promise.
> 
> But our ex's are POS's!



I agree with @BlueWoman NMB needs to vent, vent away. 

I'm sorry he keeps pulling this crap with you. It seems like once a week he hits you with something new and you must just be waiting for what comes next.


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## Marc878

You can't fix him.

Its going to be painful but you have to move on. 

Limit contact except for the kids. if he doesn't want to help parent them you can do nothing about it.

concentrate on living your life well. 

find some other interests to occupy your time


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## staarz21

Don't worry NMB, eventually all of this will fade away. When you wake up one day and it's all gone and lifted off of your shoulders, he is going to wonder wtf happened. I am telling you, he has two women fighting over him right now and he probably feels like God's gift. Who cares if he feels pressured? I would have told him that was his own fault. He made a commitment to your son. He needs to uphold that. It has nothing to do with you or with his OW. He needs to make sure his son comes first. If she is going to b*tch him out for that, then he needs to rework who he sleeps with from now on, huh?

Sorry, but he's about as stupid as they come.


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## Nomorebeans

Thanks, everybody.

Staarz, I did say when he said that, "Is that my fault? This is the consequence of the choice you made. We're coparenting a young son while divorced. I put zero pressure on you to do anything except what's best for him. I let you waltz in here for two hours in the afternoon every day, be Play Time Dad, and then leave because that's what you want. How am I putting pressure on you?" He couldn't answer that.

Pluto, I like your suggestion to cut him off the next time he tries to play the sympathy card about not being interested in his personal life. I kind of did that last night, but in an angrier way when he told me what she said about me telling him to jump and he jumps. I said I have zero interest in what that woman thinks or says about me, and to please keep that to himself from now on.

BlueWoman, you're right, too. It was a vent. But I also appreciate advice about how to get through it. Telling me how I should feel doesn't help, but suggestions for things to say and do to alleviate it do. 

Kristin, yes, I feel like I'm constantly waiting for the hammer to fall - every week, it's something else - like Pluto said - his nonsense is the gift that keeps on giving. Like she also said, it's true - he's not a good father. I'm going to stop giving him credit for a lie he tells himself that he has yet to prove. And she's right again - maybe do I need to take about a hobby that involves a hammer. Anyone have a wall they want demolished?


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## Cooper

Nomorebeans your ex is a jerk and acting like a piss poor parent, he is so absorbed in his new life that he doesn't realize the long term effects this will have on his son.

You now have zero control or influence over your ex, as a man or a father, but you can still be the best mother possible to your son. One of the ways to do that is to be the steady positive influence in your sons life, and you can't do that while being mired down in negative drama. Frankly you and the ex are sharing way to much information with each other, you don't need to go full no contact but stop discussing his personal life, it's just none of your business. However the relationship pans out with him and your son is up to dad, not you, step out of the equation for your own mental health. When my ex wife moved out and left the kids with me I did everything in my power to keep her involved in their life, your post reminded me of that time, good god I was an emotional wreck and and damn exhausted. 

Nomorebeans you have to make a conscious effort to disconnect, it will become easier and easier, you may never forgive him or be happy with his role as a father, but you can detach yourself so he and his life has very little impact on your day, and that's a great place to be.

PS...I started off hating my ex also, now I find her just sad a pathetic, and kind of icky.


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## Nomorebeans

Thanks, Cooper, for advice and understanding from someone who's been there. I do feel damn exhausted trying to keep my son's Dad in his life. You're right, as was Pluto and others - actually he started the talk about his personal business - but I should have cut him off. When he admitted he would miss the games next weekend and work, I made a snarky comment about how once again, his son wasn't coming first (that has been his mantra through all this - that he would always come first, and that to his GF, "the children come first," too). That's when he launched into his sob story about how pressured he feels. But I sent him down that path by being snarky in the first place.

I can't make him keep his word or do anything else. I can only control myself. I'm going to go ahead and keep hating him for a while, because I can't control that, but I can control how I react to him. Or don't.


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## SecondTime'Round

Nomorebeans said:


> Thanks, Cooper, for advice and understanding from someone who's been there. I do feel damn exhausted trying to keep my son's Dad in his life. You're right, as was Pluto and others - actually he started the talk about his personal business - but I should have cut him off. When he admitted he would miss the games next weekend and work, I made a snarky comment about how once again, his son wasn't coming first (that has been his mantra through all this - that he would always come first, and that to his GF, "the children come first," too). That's when he launched into his sob story about how pressured he feels. But I sent him down that path by being snarky in the first place.
> 
> I can't make him keep his word or do anything else. I can only control myself. I'm going to go ahead and keep hating him for a while, because I can't control that, but I can control how I react to him. Or don't.


I know how hard it is to control the tongue with these losers!!! I fail many, many times!!! 

Hang in there. Vent away.


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## JohnA

BlueMoon, the way I explained my loathing for my ex is of course if she was in an accident I would call 911, and keep walking. If I found her suicidal of course I would call a hot line, put her on and call ex SIL and then walk away. Homeless, of course I would get and pay for a cab to take her to a homeless shelter. 

Nonorebeans, how big of a moma boy is he? Are you his mother that he can expect you to understand him? I was 15 when I found out my paternal grandfather died. Uh, he was alive? My father did not speak to him for decades, nor did he allow anyone else. I found out later his dad pulled the same stunt yours did when my dad was seven. My dad was a great husband and father. Looking back I realize that when he was muttering Jesus, Mary and joseph he was thinking "I will not be my father". Your son has you. Be the person who posts here, he will grow up fine. Years later my mom said of his mother, she raised the husband she deserved. I cannot begin to tell you how much she loved my father.


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## Nomorebeans

Thank you, John.

THIS JUST IN:

My ex just dropped our son off - he took him to the gym and basketball practice today.

I wasn't going to say a word about our conversation last night, but he took me aside and goes, "I'm sorry about last night. I appreciate how nice you've been throughout this whole ordeal I've put you through. You never put any pressure or demands on me, you've been nothing but reasonable and supportive, and you're right - I've failed to put my son first. And, you're so much better than [the OW]." My jaw about hit the floor. He goes, "She flies off the handle at every little thing I say or do, she gives me the silent treatment when I don't do exactly what she wants, everything is all about her. I told her last night that this constant stream of BS from her is about to end us."

Good thing he's moving her down here this week and exposing our son to her. I wanted to say that, but didn't. He goes, "It isn't gonna work out between us. I'm sorry I hurt you like I did over someone like this." (In other words, too bad I didn't hurt you like I did over someone better. Christ.)

He's led me astray with comments like these before, so I assume he still plans to go up there and bring her down here this week, but thinks he can extricate himself when it crashes and burns. Have fun on that two-day carride with someone who takes everything you say personally. Idiot.

ETA: I should have cut him off, I know, but was too stunned to do so.


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## Pluto2

Nomorebeans said:


> ETA: I should have cut him off, I know.


Repeat as needed.


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## Openminded

Obviously, the new love of his life isn't going to work out. The day may well be coming when he lands back on your doorstep. Be prepared.


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## SecondTime'Round

Nomorebeans said:


> Thank you, John.
> 
> THIS JUST IN:
> 
> My ex just dropped our son off - he took him to the gym and basketball practice today.
> 
> I wasn't going to say a word about our conversation last night, but he took me aside and goes, "I'm sorry about last night. I appreciate how nice you've been throughout this whole ordeal I've put you through. You never put any pressure or demands on me, you've been nothing but reasonable and supportive, and you're right - I've failed to put my son first. And, you're so much better than [the OW]." My jaw about hit the floor. He goes, "She flies off the handle at every little thing I say or do, she gives me the silent treatment when I don't do exactly what she wants, everything is all about her. I told her last night that this constant stream of BS from her is about to end us."
> 
> Good thing he's moving her down here this week and exposing our son to her. I wanted to say that, but didn't. He goes, "It isn't gonna work out between us. I'm sorry I hurt you like I did over someone like this." (In other words, too bad I didn't hurt you like I did over someone better. Christ.)
> 
> He's led me astray with comments like these before, so I assume he still plans to go up there and bring her down here this week, but thinks he can extricate himself when it crashes and burns. Have fun on that two-day carride with someone who takes everything you say personally. Idiot.
> 
> ETA: I should have cut him off, I know, but was too stunned to do so.


I.AM.NOT.AT.ALL.SURPRISED.

But seriously, stay STRONG and do NOT get back together with this man WHEN (not IF!) he requests it!!! Trust me and my experience....it would not end well.


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## honeysuckle04

Openminded said:


> Obviously, the new love of his life isn't going to work out. The day may well be coming when he lands back on your doorstep. Be prepared.


Beans you once mentioned a karma bus...right?


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## Hopeful Cynic

Nomorebeans said:


> I wasn't going to say a word about our conversation last night, but he took me aside and goes, "I'm sorry about last night. I appreciate how nice you've been throughout this whole ordeal I've put you through. You never put any pressure or demands on me, you've been nothing but reasonable and supportive, and you're right - I've failed to put my son first. And, you're so much better than [the OW]." My jaw about hit the floor. He goes, "She flies off the handle at every little thing I say or do, she gives me the silent treatment when I don't do exactly what she wants, everything is all about her. I told her last night that this constant stream of BS from her is about to end us."
> 
> Good thing he's moving her down here this week and exposing our son to her. I wanted to say that, but didn't. He goes, "It isn't gonna work out between us. I'm sorry I hurt you like I did over someone like this." (In other words, too bad I didn't hurt you like I did over someone better. Christ.)
> 
> He's led me astray with comments like these before, so I assume he still plans to go up there and bring her down here this week, but thinks he can extricate himself when it crashes and burns. Have fun on that two-day carride with someone who takes everything you say personally. Idiot.
> 
> ETA: I should have cut him off, I know, but was too stunned to do so.


He's either lying to you so you'll get off his case, or he's softening you up so he can try to come back to you. Either way, stay strong on your own.


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## Cooper

Sadly you can't trust his contrition, my guess is he was looking for some validation from you that he is a good man and you appreciate his new focus on your son. Screw that crap, nothing he has done can be undone by one action, silence on your part is the best approach. The most you need to say is thanks for bringing junior home, turn your back and go inside.


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## Marc878

Nomorebeans said:


> Thank you, John.
> 
> THIS JUST IN:
> 
> My ex just dropped our son off - he took him to the gym and basketball practice today.
> 
> I wasn't going to say a word about our conversation last night, but he took me aside and goes, "I'm sorry about last night. I appreciate how nice you've been throughout this whole ordeal I've put you through. You never put any pressure or demands on me, you've been nothing but reasonable and supportive, and you're right - I've failed to put my son first. And, you're so much better than [the OW]." My jaw about hit the floor. He goes, "She flies off the handle at every little thing I say or do, she gives me the silent treatment when I don't do exactly what she wants, everything is all about her. I told her last night that this constant stream of BS from her is about to end us."
> 
> Good thing he's moving her down here this week and exposing our son to her. I wanted to say that, but didn't. He goes, "It isn't gonna work out between us. I'm sorry I hurt you like I did over someone like this." (In other words, too bad I didn't hurt you like I did over someone better. Christ.)
> 
> He's led me astray with comments like these before, so I assume he still plans to go up there and bring her down here this week, but thinks he can extricate himself when it crashes and burns. Have fun on that two-day carride with someone who takes everything you say personally. Idiot.
> 
> ETA: I should have cut him off, I know, but was too stunned to do so.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Karma bus is coming straight at him! Get out of the way and watch. 

Or you could nudge him a little so it hits him with full impact.

Your life is what you will make of it. Spend the time for yourself and family. Leave him to his fate.

We will require updates. This'll be very entertaing!


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## Nomorebeans

Cooper said:


> Sadly you can't trust his contrition, my guess is he was looking for some validation from you that he is a good man and you appreciate his new focus on your son. Screw that crap, nothing he has done can be undone by one action, silence on your part is the best approach. The most you need to say is thanks for bringing junior home, turn your back and go inside.


Glad to see you've said that. Because that's just what I did.


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## Thundarr

Nomorebeans said:


> that he left me for an OW he's had a long distance relationship with since last September, who he is now moving down here permanently to our same town, 10 minutes away, next week, when our 13yo DS still hasn't even met her.


He's a flipping idiot and so is she. You may have mixed emotions about him since he's the father of your children but his relationship has a 98% change of failure. People keep making the same stupid mistakes that so many before them made.


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## JohnA

Hi, sometimes you just need to shake your head walk away muttering perfectly normal, perfectly sane, perfectly health.

I worked with a women who had two girls and several years later a boy. I can't tell you how many times she came to work muttering I don't understand. I would ask what did he do now? One time she said he stuffed his lunch down a hole in the wall in the kitchen. I shrugged and said so, how else was he going to find out how much food would fit in it. Has he tried filling it with water yet? She said he wouldn't, I said care to bet? Better call Hubby. 

As to last conv with your exWS. He is weak and looking to play you and your son off her.


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## JohnA

The point of the story in my last posts is that to protect yourself going forward you need to know the reality of the people in front of you. You know your ex, from your posts here about her I can pretty much predict what you will experience in any given situation. Last night was a pleasant surprise. That's it. I've posted my times to the newbies, prepare for the worst, work for the best. 
I would add do not hope for the best, just except it and keep going.

You have your baseline for the worst, use it to protect yourself, but be cheerful.


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## Nomorebeans

He's now working and out of town until Tuesday, and I expect when he gets back, it will still be the case that he's going up there and bringing her back down, even though he seems to have zero confidence in the relationship succeeding. Because he's too weak to just say to her now that it's over, even though it would save him a lot more trouble and strife later.

Meanwhile, I know I really shouldn't be focusing on or caring about his personal life. I don't want him back. I'd be taking back a person who blew up my and his son's lives and left us so he could get laid regularly by some woman he barely knows, and he'd still be with her if she didn't turn out to have Borderline Personality Disorder out the wazoo.

He made his choice. And finally, he is getting what he deserves: her. The reality of her, not the fantasy. Or, the daunting task of extricating oneself from someone with a severe and irrational fear of abandonment and an inappropriate anger response. Either way, he's screwed, and not in a good way. At last, Karma is truly here.


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## Pluto2

I think your crediting your ex with a bit too much veracity. Why do you believe what he tells you about the OW? No doubt he told her similar lies about you when he was getting ready to have the A. He is fishing to make you a Plan B and have a nice soft place to land in the event things with the OW fall through, but its still a bunch of crap.


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## 3Xnocharm

Cooper said:


> Nomorebeans you have to make a conscious effort to disconnect, it will become easier and easier, you may never forgive him or be happy with his role as a father, but you can detach yourself so he and his life has very little impact on your day, and that's a great place to be.


NMB, Cooper is right, and I think its going to be impossible for you to accomplish detachment as long as you are allowing him into your home daily. (that thought makes my skin crawl, sorry...I cannot imagine allowing that) As someone else stated, his relationship with his son is HIS responsibility and if he can go through figuring out moving a skanky gf in from out of state, he should be able to figure out how to spend time with his son that doesn't involve being in your space. 

Hating him with you..!


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## lifeistooshort

Have you met this OW? If not perhaps when you do you should tell her that she doesn't seem nearly as bad as you've heard.


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## Nomorebeans

Yes, Pluto, you're right. I really can't trust a single word that comes out of his pie hole. I was stunned by this latest thing because he never volunteers any information about her unless asked, and I never ask, and this is the first time he's ever said anything negative about her.

If he's fishing for me to be Plan B, he needs to find a different fishing hole, so to speak. I think he actually has. I've thought all along that he'll end up with the flight attendant whose father's funeral he went to and where he met the OW. He's been having an EA with her for years. I found texts on his phone when I was looking at them from the OW shortly after DDay between him and her that were constant - like 10-20 a day, where he only had a couple a day with the OW. The FA was encouraging him in the affair (the OW is her "friend") because she had an affair with a married pilot ten years ago that blew up two families with kids. She is a true POS. She'd better hope she never runs into me in an airport someday.

I'm sure he commiserates with his FA buddy about the OW daily now, if things truly aren't working out. The pilot whose marriage and family she helped destroy is 10 years older than she and in poor health. He doesn't even live with her, and not by her choosing - they've just been fvck buddies for years. Did I mention she was a POS? I predict that the second he kicks off, he'll drop the OW like a bad habit for the one he's always really wanted.

So why do I still give a crap about this guy?

Come to think of it, I don't. I think I just now realized that.


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## honeysuckle04

Today is a new day.
The sun is warm, the grass is still green and matches and gasoline are always in stock.


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## Wolf1974

Seek peace inward. That's all you can do. My x wife is an asshat just like your x. You can't do anything about it and dwelling about it helps no one. Just do right by your kiddo and work to stop caring about him and his new going on. That karma bus will come soon enough and by the time it does you'll be in a much better place chuckling at the mess he made. Just a matter of time...


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## Cooper

Nomorebeans said:


> Yes, Pluto, you're right. I really can't trust a single word that comes out of his pie hole. I was stunned by this latest thing because he never volunteers any information about her unless asked, and I never ask, and this is the first time he's ever said anything negative about her.
> 
> If he's fishing for me to be Plan B, he needs to find a different fishing hole, so to speak. I think he actually has. I've thought all along that he'll end up with the flight attendant whose father's funeral he went to and where he met the OW. He's been having an EA with her for years. I found texts on his phone when I was looking at them from the OW shortly after DDay between him and her that were constant - like 10-20 a day, where he only had a couple a day with the OW. The FA was encouraging him in the affair (the OW is her "friend") because she had an affair with a married pilot ten years ago that blew up two families with kids. She is a true POS. She'd better hope she never runs into me in an airport someday.
> 
> I'm sure he commiserates with his FA buddy about the OW daily now, if things truly aren't working out. The pilot whose marriage and family she helped destroy is 10 years older than she and in poor health. He doesn't even live with her, and not by her choosing - they've just been fvck buddies for years. Did I mention she was a POS? I predict that the second he kicks off, he'll drop the OW like a bad habit for the one he's always really wanted.
> 
> So why do I still give a crap about this guy?
> 
> Come to think of it, I don't. I think I just now realized that.



DING! DING ! DING! Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!


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