# ungrateful in-laws



## sammyaqw (Sep 19, 2014)

i have been with my wife for 9 years and we have 2 great kids.. but my inlaws are miserable people and they don't think much of me. they are always putting me down.. i am a good father and husband.. i have a great job that my wife doesn't have to work. we have a nice house, nice cars and go on nice vacations. i send my kids to private schools and with all of this, i still am able to saving for college for my kids. my wife is treated like a princess but my inlaws always put me down in front of other people. 

their other daughter married a lawyer and he does very well. all they do is brag about him and his accomplishments.

but meanwhile his wife is miserable as well. he is never home and they do not have a real relationship.

don't my inlaws see how happy my wife is ? why can't they be nice to me... i took over my fathers computer company and they are like big deal you manage your own business. look at your bother in law is a a big shot lawyer.. wow he did so much with his life.

meanwhile i spend quality time with my kids and wife, my have date night and have great relationship.. i coach their sports teams... and my bother in law go fishing on his spare time and spends no time with his family... but my in laws make excusing for him... ooo he is so busy and stressed. 
i am not at all jealous. but its not fair how they think i am not good enough and they don't appreciate me marrying their daughter.

i am sick and tire of being the nice guy and trying to me above the situation... my question how can i start begin a jerk and nasty to them without making obvious that i am upset?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I think your wife should talk to her parents in support of you and stop them with the put downs. Spouses should help right a wrong if at all possible. In your case, I see this as righting the wrongs of the put down.

There is a story about my W that happened before I came along. It embarrass her and she is not proud of it. Yet, her family find it fun at every gathering to tell the tale as my wife sits quietly wanting to disappear. I finally had enough. I advised each and everyone of them that the story is hurtful to their daughter/sister. STFU. That was the end of it. 

Perhaps you W should advise her folks the same. If they have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. The apron strings to mamma and dada are cut. Time to defend her H. If they don't like it she can vacate the party and head on home. 

Other than that...you support yourself. No need to deal with you in-laws. Stay home. They will wonder why you are not there. Your W can explain the constant put downs keep you home. Perhaps they will wise up.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Your asking how to a jerk and nasty to them and not let them know that you're upset? Not sure how you'll do that. 

On the other hand... Maybe getting to a point where you don't care about their opinion would be healthier for you. What's preventing that from happening?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Tell lawyer jokes?

You know in-laws are a tricky thing. When my aunts and grandmother started trash talking about my wife. I stopped inviting them over. I stopped going to parties I knew they would be at. 

My mother in law was quite critical of my parenting style. She thought I didn't spank enough. I just nodded and kept doing what I was doing. after a few years she stopped bothering to tell me what to do.
MN


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

How is your relationship w/ your wife?


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Would I be correct to presume your wife is conflict avoidant and you are a people pleaser?

Knowing this will influence the quality of advise you get from us.

Wishing you success.


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## Froggi (Sep 10, 2014)

Your wife needs to tell them to knock it off.

They should not be allowed to disparage you. If she is too much of a wimp, then you tell them to knock it off or they can kiss the grandkids goodbye.

It is wrong for kids to be around people who hate on their parents.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

I agree, W should step up to plate for you. You would her if it were

your in-laws. When I was M, I got along wonderful with my MiL. My g/f's

parents try to act like your in laws. I told my potential FiL to keep

his opinions to himself, I don't give a damn several times. Her mom

isn't that bad but, point is.... they do as much as I allow them to.

I either redirect behavior that encroaches my boundaries or I

eliminate it. I have not been around either of them since the last

episode. I tried redirection, didn't work. I stopped being around them.


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