# A few questions to the men out there



## Sunshine2011 (Oct 11, 2011)

Hi Guys, 

Just a couple of questions about strippers.

Assuming some of you are married or even past experiences would be good. 

1.Did/Do your wives mind if you go to strip clubs?

2.Do they really turn you on when u see a show?

3.Is it really necassary to go to the strippers on a bucks night?

4.What is the big interest in them?

Thanks, just trying to understand guys and there ways a little better


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> Assuming some of you are married or even past experiences would be good.


Married for 30 years. I haven't been in a strip club for probably 15 years.



Sunshine2011 said:


> 1.Did/Do your wives mind if you go to strip clubs?


Early in our marriage, she did not. I would go on "guys night" once a week or less and come home pretty tipsy.
Now, I think it would be a problem for her as she would likely think that she can't compete with those young bodies.



Sunshine2011 said:


> 2.Do they really turn you on when u see a show?


Always did to a certain degree. But I also went to be with "the boys" as most of them were single and saw a lot less nudity than I did.



Sunshine2011 said:


> 3.Is it really necessary to go to the strippers on a bucks night?


The last time I went, a bunch of guys on my crew talked me into it because it was $10 to get in and all the alcohol was free. I knew that it was a bargain for me (I like to drink a LOT).



Sunshine2011 said:


> 4.What is the big interest in them?


There's a certain turn on to see a pretty girl get naked in front of you while you sit on your butt and drink alcohol. I like naked girls in just about any way, shape or form (well, almost).



Sunshine2011 said:


> Thanks, just trying to understand guys and there ways a little better


Anytime.
Also let me add that even as a young man, I didn't see a lot of point to it because I wasn't going to get anything from them. I wasn't going to touch them. I was just going home horny and wouldn't even dare to ask for love then.
Now, in addition to the above reasons, I think that it would be disrespectful to my wife to leave her at home while I go ogle 20 somethings.

I will add, about 25 years ago, she went to a Chippendale's show (with my approval) and came home and nearly killed me in the bed. I wanted to schedule her for a show three time a week!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

My wife, like many women, was insecure about her own body. I respected her enough to never entertain the notion of a strip club. Call me old fashioned, but this was always something among my friends that a guy would do before marriage. My wife actually loved sex, so I didn't want to mess with a good thing.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> ...


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

A sad occupation and an even sadder diversion.


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## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

Never been and never really had the notion. I guess I am cheap and the internet is free to be honest. Not saying one is less hurtfull to a SO. I wouldnt anyway cause I know how it would make me feel, the internet on rare occasions but not if I had a loving relationship.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> ...


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

Never been myself. Wife has said many times she would not be offended if I went, even for the bachelor party, but have never taken her up on it for various reasons.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> ...


No. We go together, once a month on average.



> 2.Do they really turn you on when u see a show?


I guess it depends on what you mean by "really turn you on." I don't get...um..."all charged up," but...I enjoy seeing attractive naked women, as does my wife.



> 3.Is it really necassary to go to the strippers on a bucks night?


I've never heard the term "bucks night" before, so I don't really know how to answer this.



> 4.What is the big interest in them?


As I mentioned earlier, we both enjoy seeing attractive naked women. As someone else mentioned, when they seem to be enjoying themselves, it's very nice. For instance, our favorite dancer at the club we go to isn't normally the "type" either of us would normally put at the top of our lists. But, she seems to enjoy herself and (this will sound like a cheesy rationalization) has a great smile...that's not a euphamism...I mean her smile. We've had quite a few good conversations about mundane stuff, as well. On the other hand, if they look like they're mentally making out their grocery shopping list or just seem disinterested, well, that makes us disinterested in them.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> ...


Oh boy, I simply must take a stab at this. ME & my husband have gone to the Strip club together in the past couple years about 2 handfuls of times. Mind you, he never had this experience his entire life , we were both kinda sexually repressed in our earlier years -we were married 19 full years before this experience (he was 45 by then) and Never once in my marriage did he make me feel less than #1.... so when a friend asked us to go, we went! 

I was in the midst of having some kind of sexual awakening-where I felt I was more lustful than him- which irriated me more than I care to admit, so anything to trip his triggers, in my opionion, I was up for! After all, shortly before this, I went with some Gf's to see the Chippendales, so why deny him. Plus I was curious myself. 

His personal flavor of porn has ALWAYS been strippers, seductive women danging/poles, it was one of his favorite VHS tapes of his youth, ametures at a strip club. 

He originally expected this place to be "skanky"- (his words) but both of us was very pleasantly surprised, I enjoyed it as well - most especially when they would take some bachelore up there, dance around him, climb up the pole, fall on him, then put a leash on his neck , 3 strippers sit on him & walk him like a dog, oh what a hoot.... then he would have to take a stab at that pole, I haven't laughed so hard for a long long time. :rofl: :rofl::rofl: I really enjoyed watching these women dance too, and the outfits gave me ideas. 

We have only been to ONE place, it has an excellent reputation, air grinding only, meaning these women NEVER touch the man, they are carefully watched in the back room, PLUS for every dance a man gets, his wife or GF is allowed back for free. I never wanted to watch my husbands dances, BUT I did go back & watch a guy friends once. 

I have a feeling not all strip clubs are created like this one, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have no doubt some really unshady things happen in alot of them and for this, I would not be comfortable as a wife. 

The 1st time we went, this beautiflul stripper came over to talk to him (my husband is very shy & quiet) I just watched, observed, his face was all lit up, then he asked me if he could go back for a lap dance . I was a little surprised with that , thinking "Oh my God, my husband wants to see this other woman naked, and these feelings started to RISE up within me, I recognized them as a little "jealousy" -but yet...... I LIIIKKEEDDDDD IT. It just made me want to claim him MORE so, which I did later that night. I let him go back. 

I am not sure if many woman can understand this (probably think I am crazy!) , but for us, my husband has literally never done ANYTHING in our lifetime together (been with him since I was 15) -to cause me a HINT of jealousy. I think it was about time! It worked MORE in our favor. It aroused my feelings MORE for him, without a loss of confidence in his love for me - I wanted to give him this experience. 

And every time we went, he got one dance. Always from the same stripper too-if she was there. He had his favorite, we talked about his thoughts about her very openly, she even gave him her real name & they connected on FB. She also talked about her boyfriend to both of us, what she was taking in college, a little strange situation I suppose ...He would even tell her......"My wife wants you to get me hot for her " ha ha. 

He was so Overwhelmingly HOT the 1st 2 times we went there-after getting home, I told him we could go back every week, but it lost its allure -that new novely -by the 3rd time going. 

Men are, after all, very very "visual creatures", it does NOT mean they want these women. I have read so much about men, sex & Testosterone's role in this, trust me it is very normal for them to ENJOY this, and yes, get aroused. It does not mean they love thier wives any less. 

I surely know this is not the case in our marraige anyway. Not sure I can say I enjoyed the experience "as much" as him, but I have no regrets, probably will go again sometime too.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

You're right, SA...the clubs aren't all created equal. The one we go to doesn't have that stereotypical sleazy atmosphere, either. Much more casual. And they do a decent business off of couples/women. In fact, every Saturday night, they have a "date night" promotion...no cover for couples from 6:00-9:00 and special couples' menu items (which change every week). From what we've read (in the NY Times, even), the club is also very dancer-friendly, with perks and benefits to truly help them wisely manage the money they're making, a financial adviser, tuition reimbursement, etc. The club's owner is a woman, so that may go a long way towards explaining why the place isn't a cliche.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Sunshine2011 said:


> Hi Guys,
> 
> Just a couple of questions about strippers.
> 
> ...



1) no as long as I was being honest about it, wasnt spending money we didnt have, and didn't spend much more than the cover and few tips. My wife and I go together now on occasion, I don't go by myself at all anymore.

2) depends, I'm not into the barbie types so I always liked the more natural looking strippers

3) have no idea what a bucks night is

4) not much interest for me anymore unless the wife comes with as we get worked up together and go home and have some fun.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I went many years ago, and my wife knew I went there with friends. For me, it was boring and uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to leave.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> A sad occupation and an even sadder diversion.


Yea, that's someone's little girl. Bleh.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Yea, that's someone's little girl. Bleh.


While I understand this thought, if you think about it, EVERYone is someone's child, so we should strive to avoid finding...well...anyone attractive for that reason.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Clear heels and dead eyes. The paunch, sweat and stretchmarks are just a pretty bow on the box.


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Clear heels and dead eyes. The paunch, sweat and stretchmarks are just a pretty bow on the box.


:rofl: This made me LOL for real.


1. I've been to strip clubs a few times over the years. Maybe 6 times over the past 15 years? I never hid it at all, and went with approval. It was always for bachelor parties. 

2. Honestly, not all that much. I certainly enjoy naked women of course, but the whole atmosphere was a little creeper for my taste to ever really get comfortable. Plus being hit up for a lap dance every 30 seconds actually got a little old. Money drain time. 

3. No idea what that is. Sorry.

4. I assume naked women, and the illusion that you are going to "get some", which pretty much will never happen unless you are at an absolute dive bar.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

that_girl said:


> Yea, that's someone's little girl. Bleh.


..Or someone's Mom. One of our single guy friends went with us one night, there was this 38 yr old dancer there, she was stunning, beautiful , I was surprised of her age . She came to our table & talked for awhile, very open about her life, she told us how she is a school teacher by day in another town. Very intelligent, she told us she does this on the side at night to help pay for her son's college . It is not that she is hurting, she wants the extra money-to help him out, make his life easier. 

Anyway, her & our guy friend became an item ! Last I heard he is still taking her out. Been for months now, he has a great job, he is also not judging of what she chooses to do, pretty open minded. Don't know where it will lead. 

Most of the women we have met are in College, just paying for their schooling, my husbands favorite dancer quit when she was done & moved back to her home state, now likely looking for a job in what she got a degree in, it was some kind of art. Her stripping days over. This is the impression I get from most of them. Just a season, then they move on. 


Last time we went, one shared with us how she was a Wiccan, she was very unique, she was telling us she has no use for men , never wants to marry, but the money is great. 

I guess we all have our price. It likely would be tempting if you had a great body, a gift for dancing, and big debt to pay off. But still , it is a choice. Maybe I am wrong for looking at it this way, I don't know. I don't judge those girls for what they do. It is a job of enticement though. Immoral perhaps -for many -but a market is there for it. Should the goverment shut them all down. If so, I bet it would go underground and even be more shady. 

Don't know the answer.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Soccerfan73 said:


> Plus being hit up for a lap dance every 30 seconds actually got a little old.


That's an added bonus to going with my wife. We don't get those "drive-bys" as often. If there's a guy with us on his own, he'll get hit up for them much more frequently than we do. And, if the wife steps away to the restroom, any of us guys seem to be fair game.

Or, maybe it's just because most of the girls recognize the wife & I and know that, if either of us wants a dance, we'll ask for one.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Grayson said:


> That's an added bonus to going with my wife. We don't get those "drive-bys" as often. If there's a guy with us on his own, he'll get hit up for them much more frequently than we do.


 This is our experience also. When they do come over to us, it is more as a "couple". The 1st time we went though, we had a larger group, I purposely sat a little farther away from my husband & hung with the ladies, so that stripper didn't know I was "the wife" -till he asks me if he can go back. BUt we always sit close together now, it does take the pressure off. We don't go unless we have some other friends to sit with us, it is just a night out for us. 

Neither of us have ever felt comfortable in a bar scene, I don't drink at all, this is so far out of our normal element, surely the wildest entertainment we have ever had. 

I am just a very curious soul, I will try almost anything once, I like to sit back, observe, watch how people interact, it IS purely fasinating to me. While he is watching them dance, I look around at the men, curious of thier stories. When you see the young ones come in for the 1st time, you can just tell, the excitement on thier faces, they can barely contain themselves. Men truly crack me up . 

I've watched some strange characters in there. This one appeared really uptight & geeky, -he lierally put a 4 inch stack of bills on the floor to entice them coming over to him. 

We have been told by a regular that we are well liked there - they are always encouraging more Marrrieds to come in, it helps the overall atmosphere. I know It makes ME feel more comfortable seeing other women with their men. ....Every time my husband enters his name online to win a "party"- they call him back within days...they give us free admission (all the wives & gf's get in free anyway) ,2 free drinks per person, pizza & fries -for everyone we bring.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

I think we may have discussed this before, SA, but your experience sounds a lot like ours. We've had dancers that we've never tipped or gotten a dance from recognize us when we go in and come by just to say, "Hi." this past weekend, we were sitting by the floor's entrance to the main stage, with a tv right above us showing the Rangers/Tigers game, and one stopped by for a few minutes before going on stage to catch a few minutes of the game. We're aware of a mother and daughter who both dance there. One time, my stepbrother went with us, and our waitress recognized him when he settled his tab, as she knows his half-brother somehow outside the club. She recently became our regular waitress because we sat at one of her tables again some six months later and she remembered us from that previous time with my stepbrother AND recalled my wife's drink of choice the next time we sat at her table, about 2 months later. The girl working the front door doesn't go through the formality of carding us anymore, and the valet doesn't ask for our ticket anymore...just goes and gets our car when we come out.

I'd love if they'd toss some free food our way, though. ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

so what is a bucks night?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> so what is a bucks night?


bucks = male, must be boys night out


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

thought it was some sort of dollar lapdance special, in which case I would need the place name and night


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

damn Ozzies and their colorful language...


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

But, at least I can answer that third question now. ;-)

Is it "necessary" to go for a bachelor party? No, but it's something of a tradition. A strip club wasn't part if my own bachelor party itinerary. But that was because most of the attendees had no interest in going to one. I was all for it. For some of my friends who don't mind strip clubs, a bachelor party is the only time they receive a "hall pass" from their wives to go to one. That might go a long way towards explaining why the tradition persists.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Almostrecovered said:


> damn Ozzies and their colorful language...


i dont thin sharon lets Ozzy go to buck parties


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> i dont thin sharon lets Ozzy go to buck parties


But he's the Prince of motherfokken Darkness!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What's a stag party in NZ? A sheep party? That can't be good.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

As a guy, really, strip clubs have never floated my boat. It's just too demeaning....I'm not talking about demeaning to the women, but to the men. We're basically saying, "Here! take my money! I'm so easy to manipulate that by flashing me a smile and shaking your body, I'll give you my cash. Give me the slightest indication that I have a shot with you (which I don't) and I'll give you my whole wallet."


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> .
> 
> We have only been to ONE place, it has an excellent reputation, air grinding only, meaning these women NEVER touch the man, they are carefully watched in the back room, PLUS for every dance a man gets, his wife or GF is allowed back for free. I never wanted to watch my husbands dances, BUT I did go back & watch a guy friends once.
> 
> ...


I think I would feel like maybe he was thinking of these other women rather than really being present with me during sex. Did you feel that way? If so, did it bother you?


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

TeaLeaves4 said:


> I think I would feel like maybe he was thinking of these other women rather than really being present with me during sex. Did you feel that way? If so, did it bother you?


I can't speak for SA's husband, but speaking for myself...no, I'm not mentally with any of the dancers if my W and I get worked up enough to fool around after the club. I'm right there with my wife, physically and mentally.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

TeaLeaves4 said:


> I think I would feel like maybe he was thinking of these other women rather than really being present with me during sex. Did you feel that way? If so, did it bother you?


Trust me when I say, I talk to my husband about everything imaginable, and of coarse we talked about this also - a few times even. Because of coarse, while I do not mind him going there, getting a thrill -(even a hard on & yes he did at least the 1st 3 times going back there, then they started to wane) and us having WILD passionate sex when we get home - I want that ! I would not, however, be OK if he was starting to get some emotional attachment , imaging "doing" her while he is making love to ME. 

Fleeting thoughts probably wouldn't freak me out though, my fantasy life is richer & WILDER than his is & I wish he had more of that going on.

In my asking, I was very playful about it, even telling him if he did , it would make me a little jealous and get my jets firing. I WANT us to be totally true when we share our fantasies with each other. .......

He tells me *NO*, he has NEVER thought of anyone else but me, and adds NEVER in his life has he done this. To this I say...he is better than me ! Most of my fantasies are us when we were younger -granted - but I have crossed the fence in the mind, in the heat of action. (don't crucify me!) 

Does it bother him --NO, he knows how I feel about him tremendously. Do I believe him & what he says to me --YES -because of how he TREATS me day in , day out - since forever. He lives & breathes for me, no woman is as spoiled as me. He has always felt I was better than him, that sex rank thing. He has told me this. I feel he is better than me, surely more easy to live with. 

He is stitting here on his laptop feet away from me, I told him of your question, he says ... "Your hot, there ain't nobody else to think of" . Short & sweet, I think it is a little odd but Yeah I believe him.

I asked him once if he would like her to GRIND on him (not allowed where we go) , now being a married man, he shouldn't want this but he admits he sure wouldn't mind it . I want his honesty. Doesn't bother me at all he said that. 

I believe MEN can separate this - I just do. Do I feel all men do, probably not . If they treat you like Gold, let them go, if you feel 2nd best, not a good idea. Solely depends on the marraige and the woman's confidence in her man's love for her.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

*1.Did/Do your wives mind if you go to strip clubs?*

My ex-wife did mind but I didn't want to go so it wasn't an issue.

*2.Do they really turn you on when u see a show?*

No, not really. But like SA says, men are visual creatures. I would probably say the two times I went for a bachelor party, I did stare.

*3.Is it really necassary to go to the strippers on a bucks night?*

Is it a buck for the wings or for the women?  (don't know what that is)

*

4.What is the big interest in them?
*

I am frankly uncertain. If you like getting hit up for money, you can honestly go down to the Atlantic City Boardwalk and be accosted by street bums.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

> We have been told by a regular that we are well liked there - they are always encouraging more Marrrieds to come in, it helps the overall atmosphere. I know It makes ME feel more comfortable seeing other women with their men. ....Every time my husband enters his name online to win a "party"- they call him back within days...they give us free admission (all the wives & gf's get in free anyway) ,2 free drinks per person, pizza & fries -for everyone we bring.


Well, I guess it beats dinner at the Johnsons. . .


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> so what is a bucks night?


My wife is an Aussie, and that was one of their terms. Think 'Guys night out', where they are getting wasted or ... er under the weather. Fair dinkum!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Halien said:


> My wife is an Aussie, and that was one of their terms. Think 'Guys night out', where they are getting wasted or ... er under the weather. Fair dinkum!


Bucks night is a bachelor party.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Since I have been so open here, I will share we did have one "tiff" the 2nd time we went. We went with a group of friends again .......when he walked back from his lap dance, a guy friend says to my husband "how about the kiss?" (he was meaning FOR ME) but my husband didn't catch that & thought he meant the Stripper, I can't even remember what he said, but he didn't kiss me. The way we were sitting was - he was in front of me looking at the stage. 

I also watched how his face would brighten when his favorite talked to him, when some of the ladies crowded around him & got him talking , it kinda was a turn on seeing him interact like this. My husband is so damn backwards, that FOR ME, seeing this is refreshing somehow. 

Then my girlfriend was getting all of these texts sitting beside me from her BF telling her all of these things he wanted to do to her later that night, she kept showing me ..... and my husband was so absorbed into watching the women. ...... I was starting to feel a little "slighted", like Geeze, he could turn around and say something to me, touch my hand, ya know. Had my friend not been showing me all of those lustful texts , I doubt this would have bothered me so much. So later - next day , sitting outside on our swing together......... 

I let him know he was not showing me enough attention there, that although I don't mind going, touch my hand, talk to me (he is more quiet than most), put your arm around me- kinda thing. He had no idea I was feeling like this and his defense (which I wanted of coarse) was this...He felt we would probably never go back & he wanted to "take it all in".

Fair enough. Because I was upset, he said we SHOULDN'T go back. He didn't want to do anything that would hurt me . But he was honest as well - saying he does enjoy it & would still like to go. He left it in my hands. 

I felt strongly -I did NOT want that to be the end of our experience at all. My issue was NOT that he enjoyed himself, that he talked to these beauties, that he went to the stage with his $1s when his favorite was dancing, I was perfectly fine with all of that. It was simply....he needed to show a little more attention to the wife -cause no matter what he is feisting his eyes on, let me know I am still #1 while we are there. He was sorry and yes, we kept going .... and he has been very complimentary with touch, sitting a little closer , his hands on mine, even a little more talking. 

Just a small misunderstanding. Communication is everthing. 

Another thing he enjoys is Feature night, where they have a Porn star come for a show, the place gets pretty crowded for this. He likes to get a signed picture with her afterwards, then take it to work the next day & show all the guys. They still can't believe I let him do these things. 

It is just a WILD phase for us, we were so "Goody Goody" in our youth, I guess this is what can happen when you finally "let loose". I can just see us 30 yrs from now, sitting in our rocking chairs together - :rofl::rofl: about all of this -wishing we could go back in time.... not so sure we will share with the grandchildren though!


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