# 2 year post EA update



## clb0208 (Aug 15, 2011)

2 years ago I was a sobbing mess in front of this computer screen, mindlessly scrolling through pages and pages of advice. I had come to a breaking point over my husband's EA, and had nowhere to turn. Well, it has been 2 years, and while things are not perfect they are actually much better than I could have imagined.

My husband and I refer to the "dark time" in our marriage periodically, but find it difficult to rehash the past in its entirety. We have found ways to be connected again. I feel my love for him has grown immensely over the past 2 years. My appreciation of our relationship has grown exponentially from where it was before the EA. I can remember a period of time where I didn't care if my husband was around or not. I never missed him, I never desired his company. I am not sure if it is the reconciliation from the EA that has conquered the divide, or the fact that we relocated to a new city away from anyone we knew in that same year. Maybe it is both. 

This "dark time" has not completely faded in the distance, but the once painful screams in my mind have been soothed to a dull whisper. I am much more aware of my marriage, constantly on a code red alert level. I still take note of my husband's actions. I still check his phone, fb, email on occasion. Granted these instances are fewer and farther in between as time goes by. This high alert can be somewhat of a double edged sword, because sometimes the smallest things can trigger my defense, even now 2 years later. 

I took inventory of myself, and discovered I was riddled with imperfections that were also detrimental to my relationship. I have concluded that my husband most likely beat me to the punch with the emotional infidelity. Looking back, marriage ranked very low on both of our priority scales during that time. 

We have learned to live with the "changes" to our marriage, both the good and the bad. We have a much stronger foundation to our family. We were able to continue with the plans of expanding our family, and now have a second child. Even discussing the possibility of a third in the future. 

I am very thankful to those of you that took the time to reach out to me during those dark hours. You gave me hope, inspiration and the confidence to look toward the future no matter what might be there. 

I hope that many of you find yourselves on similar paths along the travel of reconciliation. And for those of you perhaps hoping to see your future in this post, know that it is possible to be happy again, with your partner. You will never be without this cloud hovering over your marriage. Some days it will block the sun completely out, but on others it may have a beauty to offer you as well. 

Here is a link to my original post:
My Husband's EA


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Wow, how nice to guve back. Thank you . 

~sammy


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

That's really nice to hear - well done both of you 

Could I ask a question please

Had the affair been a physical one do you think you could have still gone on and successfully reconciled as you have?

Interested as to the strength of feeling about the one or the other


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Yeah , that what I often wonder ? EA vs PA. I had to endure both . 

~sammy


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Good for you. You have grown and kept a M together in difficult times.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Congratulations. I hope you are doing well. It seems that you are.


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

Thank you for coming back to post. Many of us newbies need to see stories like this to feel we are fighting for a chance at that story & eventual happiness.


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## Bamzor (Aug 15, 2012)

Thank you for your post. I have been through 1 PA 1 EA and 1 EA/PA (not certain). I've not told my story on this site, but I have yet to prove once a cheater is always a cheater is not true. No doubt you are working very hard to sustain your marriage, wish you well!


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