# Need Man's Opinion



## ktmmom (Nov 16, 2008)

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years and married for 17 years. We have one teenage son. We have had 10 difficult turbulent years of marriage. My husband says he doesn't know who I am and he doesn't love me anymore and is only staying for financial reasons and until our son is 18 (4 more years). What does this mean? He too has changed and has Rheumtoid Arthritis. Neither of us has had affairs or anything like that. He still wants sex several times a week but never says anything about love. Am I a body to him or perhaps he still has feelings for me and finds me attractive. I am so confused as most posts show husbands who say this type of thing generally don't want to be intimiate with their wives. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thanks.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Unless you like the sex, the next time he wants it, tell him to masturbate. 

If he doesn't want to, ask him why he wants sex with you if he doesn't love you.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

What has made the last ten yeas difficult? Any recurring issues?


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## CARELESS (Nov 18, 2008)

The next time he wants to have sex tell him to go play with himself.

I've been told many times that we are going to split up or get a divorce, but then later always comes back later for sex. Which doesn't happen now. Don't let him take you for granted. I made that mistake. And, if he wants out then while he is at work or somewhere pack up his things for him and when he gets home he can turn right around and head out to find whatever it is that he wants.


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## themarriedguy (Nov 18, 2008)

Well I would have to agree with the others here, if you aren't going to just flat end it and are going to stick together at least for these 4 years then i'd say tell him to go masturbate, it isn't fair to you to just be his sex toy, they make those if that's what he wants.

I have no idea what you've been through in the last years, but it is obvious you love him otherwise you would have closed the muffin shop a long time ago. Giving him sex whenever he wants isn't going to make him love you anymore than he does now. If he is simply wanting to use you then cutting it off would be a sure way to see if he is more willing to pack up and get out, if he's bluffing or isn't sure what he wants it might help him to figure it out. I personally believe in marriage and the whole as long as we both shall live. I'd say just tell him with your relationship like it is you can't bring yourself to sleep with him not loving you and then probably would be a good time to ask if he is willing to see someone to work on your relationship issues.

Just my 2 cents


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

CARELESS said:


> The next time he wants to have sex tell him to go play with himself.
> 
> I've been told many times that we are going to split up or get a divorce, but then later always comes back later for sex. Which doesn't happen now. Don't let him take you for granted. I made that mistake. And, if he wants out then while he is at work or somewhere pack up his things for him and when he gets home he can turn right around and head out to find whatever it is that he wants.


And what result did that give you?


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## cao428 (Jun 26, 2008)

That is so hurtful. I know all too well myself as my husband treats me like a piece of meat sometimes and I agree with the others...draw a healthy boundery for yourself. I need to follow their advice myself.

It is so hard when you have been married for so many years. I never minded the sex "quickies" because then other times we would have longer more quality sessions in between. But now I just feel like a shoulder steak on the shelf...

It's difficult when you want it yourself too...but I think it's never too late to ask for a gourmet meal instead of fast food, and if he doesn't want to take you out for that gourmet meal, then tell him he can eat alone.


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