# Want to run away- help me to stay put for another year



## Nanian (Jul 2, 2010)

Oh boy...
Marriage is hard.
I married for first time at the age of 45 to a man who had been divorced twice. None of his marriages lasted more than few years. His marriage history was a big RED flag but I reasoned with myself. 
It was totally my fault to marrying this man. Now we have been married for almost 3years.
I want to walk out of this marriage now.
But I can not at the moment because I decided to change my career last year and I am currently working on my graduate degree in a different field. The school is located here in this town where I live with my husband. 
I still have another year and half to go to finish my degree.
Once I finish my school, I will be leaving him and will be moving back to my home that is located in a different city. (Currenlty, my home is being rented)
I moved to this area after we were married and moved into his house. 
I even hate living in this city that is away from ocean and my life style. 
Uhh... I can not wait to get out of this house, this town and from this narcistic man.
I don't want to have sex with him any more and I am avoiding to spend any time with his family. I have been using my busy business schedule (yes, I have my own business) and studying as excuse to not spending holidays with him and his family this year. 

Please tell me how to keep my sanity in a dead marriage so I can stay put here until I finish my school.


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

Have you considered therapy? For yourself or for both of you together?

Has it been bad for all 3 years? If not, then maybe a therapist can help you get back to the place you were before it went really bad...


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## KALEVRA9 (Jul 2, 2010)

You never stated why you want out of this marriage, so I can only go by your post.

I think you are wrong. If you are truley unhappy in your marriage and you want out, just get out. From your post it doesn't seem like you have any glimmer of making it work, you have made up your mind to leave no matter what, and that is fine, I just don't think using a person to be closer to your school is very nice. 

Have you both discussed a seperation or is it something that only you feel? If you both feel the same way maybe you should talk about your living situation and come to a compromise for the remainder of the school year. If it just you feeling this way, find a cheap apt close to the school, or transfer schools in another area and let him move on with his own life as you move on with yours. 

I don't know his past situations but, marrying a divorced man shouldn't put up a red flag, unless there were major wrongs on his part, he could have just married the wrong women.


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## DennisNLA (Jan 26, 2010)

I would also look to speak with an attorney or legal aid right now. If you wait the year and half and complete your degree, you could be on the hook to support this man for a period of time since he helped you complete your graduate degree. Make sure you do not screw yourself up by staying.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

You don't ask the forum for help to make your marriage/relationship better. You ask for help to use your husband for your own financial convenience.


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