# This is How I feel Honestly..



## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

O.k. so I ask this Question on ask on Yahoo and of course Got bashed because it was too long and people there obviosly cant see and understand what the purpose of Ask is anyways ..but I got led here so Guys I need your Honest opinion on this How you feel.Now Honestly Real Answers please?


At the end of the day in people's heart with their hidden plots/motives/and schemes, behing the hidden cloak of things we wish not to discuss ..Do people really get married for Love and companionship or deep down inside they know that its a smart career move financially and its a survival issue.. I mean or why else would people(women/men) get mad at you for giving yourself to another person physically or emotionally it's considered cheating, Cheating on what ? the contract ?Cheating on Love ??W.T.F? the agreement of marriage is I can only love you, and be there for you only, and be sexual with you only and think of sexual thoughts of you only or its considered ,cheating , so heres the Question .can Love and hate abide in the same dwellings and still remain pure ? if i have love in me then that love is in me and can only be poured out to whoever is before its receivings ..Like a well of water ought shoot forth the same water for whoever approaches the well , If I say I Love My wife and family then how can i hate someone else ?? you cant mix love and hate just like you cant mix water and kool-aid in the same cup, and the water still reamin pure H20 ..it is now dilutted and no longer pure ..same with love and Hate if i say I love then it should be directed towards everyone, or iIshould examine inside if i truly have Love in me or is it something else . Then how did it become levels of love ?? I love him but i hate her ?? I just care about that person but i love this person is there a Love/Hate/Care switch that we flick at our convenience ? 

Honestly it seems as if we treat Marriage with alot of fear ..is marriage a control thing ?? constantly enforcing the rules of marriage ,do's and dont's for fear of Losing this individual ..seems as if the commitment becomes bondage and obligation after awhile, Slowly but surely your freinds change ..you cant hang out with the single ones anymore ,time to do the couple freind thing , whats all the effort in preserving this thing called Marriage anyway.. is it really worth it or with all our great efforts in the end fall short ,and fill the pages of our chapters of Life with stamps of vanity..I mean me personally i really enjoy The first two Months of a realtionship, Thats when the two indivuals are actually trying and putting forth an effort to sell themselves to one another , but once comfort with eachother sets in ..then comes the B.S. ..Makes you question whether or not this Marriage stuff is really supposed to go they way we Have conducted it .. Being Social is Good ,being adventorus is fun , trying new things , is always fun too. Could it possibly be that we constrict our own lives with opressing eachother for our own personal hidden satisfaction, I mean if you took (survival,money, and material) out of the picture i highly doubt there would be as many marriages . Im starting to question whether or not people are supposed to be with eachother for desperatly Long periods of time .. Think about all the oppurtunities you let pass by not being able to socialize freely and interact in soceity the way a single person could . all because of a teaching that was traditionally passed down ..something tells me we set our own lives up, and constrict ourselfs with our selfish knowledge, Men/women owning eachother , call it what you want But Job's, companies, and damn near everything in this world requires a contract of somesort ..for one purpose ,,to ensure that they recieve "THERE" end of the agreement ..and if they dont ..They can Hold you accountable with the signature next to an X ..If true love is true love why do you need a contract unless there is doubt or sum form of conceived suspicion that the person may not fully comply.. This can easily be translated as a form of manipulation or bribery but covered up by the word Love.. just Like cell Phone companies and there 2-3 year contract ..you can pay them on time for 3 years straight, but become delinquent once ,and guess what ..bye bye phone service..all the one time payments somehow went unnoticed and in -vain ..Funny how that works ..I Know this has been long and i did my best explaining how I feel ..what you guys think ??


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

If people really opened themselves up, they'd get closer to their spouses by showing their true selves. If your true self is as you state, then you shouldn't get married. If you view marriage as only a contract, you're not marriage material. If you think pledging yourself to one person only is about control, you're missing a key purpose for marriage.

Marriage is an opportunity for growth, spiritual growth. It is an opportunity to learn to be your best and to be who you were meant to be. It is an opportunity to learn to give and to avoid selfishness (which seems to be your main complaint against marriage -- you don't like how unselfish it is supposed to be because the behavior you describe is inherently selfish and self-serving). 

Anyone who is married knows that it only takes one vote to end it all. So this BS you are spewing about bribery and manipulation is nonsense. That's what I think.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

you cant say that those voting cards arent used to manipulate or course the other person towards what you want or vice versa. People always say how unselfish they are ..but when you dig deep enought you will see how much benefit they are receiving in the long run and why they will attemp and profess there not selfish , most people are giving in a relationship only to recieve , how can you say thats not selfish , i think people are so in deneail about the evil that lurks in men and womens heart that they convince themselves that its inexistent, then they believie it , and arent really able to see these things until .hey what do you know 20 years later someone is finally had all they can take Holding in and pretending things dont exist , when really the truth is you will never know peoples real heart , so face it there is the possibility your spouse is unhappy and good at hiding it , or that they secretly hide things from you for trust reasons they may not ever reveal until its too late , Ive also learned that people that hold the upper hand in relationships will be the quickest to defend the control/manipulate card..why? .of course because they are holding it ..lol..wouldnt want spouse to finally wake up and realize how good i am at controlling them secretly making them believe im not ..illusion do exist or there wouldnt be mental homes and crazy people ..you would be suprised how many illusions you may be sold on and not even know it ..people will always side with their point of veiw until it is decreased by a greater ..its like the government telling me im free when Obviously look around I am not ..I am subject to whatever Law they Make for My ass.. Dont sound too free . and no I am just calling a spade a spade..

the stuff abouth growth ..the only growth in this world that isnt done in vain is that towards God , so even if you build your marriage year after year and grow and all those great things . you die and then leave that person .now its harder for them to go on with out you after 20 years ..its a setup.. and even if you are the best in this world you will die and leave your best to this unbest world..lol..VAIN.....VAIN....VAIN.. maybe im bein cynical..but dont tell me thats what marriage is because the definetion of marriage differs for everyone..and there are people that will walk away from you after years of building and trust with them ,and there heart was deceitfull ..and they leave you with **** ..all cause you trusted them..ask my mom ..No good pops gone after 24 years ..cleaned out the account ..took the cars and scratched the lease ..gave her the boot and relocated to sc with Boeing ,and newfound Position ..so long old Loser life and wife and family ..HELLO Money.. Marriage huh ..poor woman Loved and trusted this douche ...im done..


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

you are obviously, and rightfully, hurt by what your father has done. But that hurt is coming from the child in you. i think there is always the child in us that wants any relationship- be it with parents, friends, or spouse- to be an altruistic, sort of religious projection of a savior. of course we dont want to hurt- and we get this idea that the other person needs to be perfect so they dont hurt us. we need people to mold to our needs. that is the child in us- the helpless, raw emotional, reactionary perspective. we want people to be our christ. but it doesn't really work that way- as you are learning. 

if you are looking for someone that will never hurt you, you will never find that- not even from yourself. you are hurting yourself right now with the anger and resentment that you are building up in yourself. its ironic, but you are becoming the very thing you despise- a source of hurt and a dispenser of pain. you will hurt others with your attitude. so you see, you are part of the cycle you hate. 

when you are ready, and tired of the pain, you will realize you have to let go of your wounded child and the thoughts that go with that persona if you ever want to really stop hurting. other people dont need to change for you to stop hurting. no one needs to be perfect. you have to change your thoughts and your perspective.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

Well F.T.R. I know i didnt mention this but i am not a child i am 25 Years old and this has nothing to do with me being hurt by my dad I never gave a 2 **** about him anyway , I was using it as an example ,to point out that hey , you can always do your best on your end but doesnt mean that your partner is ..or willing to forthat matter. people do change ,their feelings ,their thought patterns, their perspective on life ,whether to the good or bad they do change . the thing i want to point out the most is that Look at how one persons "change" in their life can affect so many others in a negative way . Hell I was reading a post on here earlier about a young woman having issues with her husband , and one commenter went as far to say . '" eithier your husband is going to be married to yuor he's not " then she commense to tell her how to screw him over financially and mentally by plaguing his life with hell from the legal system pertaining his child..Thats what im talkin about ..So it is a thin line between Love and Hate, one day a person could be laying in the bed with you after 25 years , and the next day you can be in court with the same person , or better yet murdered by their hands.. call it what you want but people are people ..some things we do are inexplainable , but the human intent of the heart can never be fully predicted ..atleast no by man .. All im sayin is be carefull who and where your trust lies .jer:17-9 The heart of man is deceitfull above all things and desperatly wicked who can know it .?


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

yes I am married 3 years in december , these issues exist ..


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

were fine ..but these issues are still relevant because they exist ..whether or not there are those who would like to talk about it or not ..there are others that feel the same as i do about these things..


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

If your view of marriage is as you state, your marriage is not fine. You're living a lie, afterall.

There are people who share a lot of views that are negative and angry and unenlightened (PS -- you may be 25 but you still have a child portion of you -- everyone does) and bitter. There are also groups of people who feel that sex with children is acceptable. Does the number who share the view make the view any more correct?

And who are you to decide that growth in general is not worthwhile? Further, since many people believe that God is the source of power and strength behind marriage and that marriage is a tool for growth, how can you argue that it is invalid? So what if people die? We have to live within the constraints we are given. Marriage never promised immortality so what does that have to do with the price of anything, anywhere?

Why did you get married? What were your vows?


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

o.k. if you are taking this as marriage Being , in the sense , past, ot present , then of course you will see it that way , Let me ask you ? Have you ever build with someone for years , honestly,dedicating, Loving , showering this person with the best of you and all that you have to offer, Only for that person to see it as **** after 10-20 years , and pull the okie -doke on you and your left with ****..all of your confidence that you carried for many years pertaining marriage immiediatly shoots to an all time low ..no more preaching how good marriage is , and how you should trust your spouse ,You have now become a victim of your worst nightmare ..time to scour the net for a forum for some sort for relief , or better yet scour the net for a new life cause my old one just blew up in my face..No this isn't bitter i think i am being taken all wrong here .. I love my wife and she's great but to say i trust her ..well thats another issue .. Wake up and smell the roses people ..whoever told you to trust man anyways..even God told you to never put your trust in man or bow and arrows , or princes or knights.. so would'nt you be the fool if you trusted man and he screwed you ..is it really their fault or yours for not obeying the wisdom of the Lord ?? and about us not being the ones to decide that growth in general is not worthwhile, then who are we to decide what right and wrong is ,or Judge men in our own righteousness ,as we do , such as the Judicial system , Who gave us the power to decide if a man should die or not , Who gave us any power at all ? Well as far as sex with children, who are we to Judge if they are right or not ..Since when have we become ordained judges with robes and gavels.. All these theory's ,beliefs,and thesis's all hinge on the eduacation we have been taught by someone else and we sit and defend it as our very own ..just because you been taught something doesnt mean it's right ..you said it yourself regarding sex with children,,but who are we to make absolutes on life leaving no room, and imediatly dismissing any other possibilities.. everything you know, you
've been taught..How do you know what youve been taught is accurate ? you dont ..As far as me getting married , Just like everything in my life if I am interested in something enough, I seek it out on my own ..taking no other mans word for it ..That was marriage for me a learning experience , Just like prison was for me also ..and very worth it . and so is marriage , but doesnt mean after youve recieved what it is you came for that you have to continue in it ..If you finished all of your courses in college wouldnt you graduate ? why continue to sit in class when you feel as if youve received what you came for ??.. King soloman dug into all sorts of thing for himself for the sake of Knowledge and wisdom , and what was his conclusion ??Vanity says the preacher..All is vanity under the sun and vexation of spirit , But it is good with him who loves the Lord..im not challenging marriage ,im challenging the accuracy of how its taught and the reason why its hard for the mental to catch up with the physical ..its not our situations that are the problem its what our mental has created them into ,by way of lack of knowledge in how to properly act -or re-act in situations ..my point is in all your pursuit for the perfect marriage , or changing all these things about yourself to make it work and so-on . Doesnt really mean that it's make an impact or difference for that matter. all your efforts may reward you in the end with legal fees and a long shaft up your ass if your not carefull. im just saying dont let the cupid arrow sweep you off on a cloud without considering that there is a drop a billion feet down..


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I'm sorry but I have to wonder what medication you should be taking that you are not.

If you don't like risk, you might as well kill yourself right now. Life is risk. Marriage is risk. I can't think of a sure thing other than the inevitability of death. But death's inevitability in no way negates the potential for goodness in life. If you think trust = guarantee, you're nuts. If you think that trust means your spouse can't make a mistake or that you yourself can't make a mistake, you're nuts.  Nobody but nobody here is saying that trust = perfection or that people are perfect.

I really don't know what you're going on about. Here's some advice : Use paragraphs. 

I'd still love to know what vows you took. I'm guessing they make you a liar.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Here's the thing:

Marriage is selfish, relationships are selfish, love is selfish.

You can paint that in every negative light you choose ... as you clearly have - or acknowledge that the fundamental driver isn't nearly as complex as you make it.

You become involved with someone as a result of how they make _you_ feel.

You fall in love because at some level, this person meets your needs - consequently, to continue to have your needs met, you try and meet theirs so that the wheel will keep turning.

The flipside is also true. Wanting to leave a relationship is also selfish (abuse excluded - although that is still self preservation). It is the signal that you _aren't_ getting what you want any longer.

Everyone wants the beautiful, shiny, package. Most everyone also know that the beautiful, shiny, package is only a means to get you to buy into the idea in the first place - but we willingly do it anyway. That isn't a bad thing. 
There are far more ways for this whole endeavor to go off the rails than there are to stay on track.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

why do you keep thinking this is fully about me .. this is in general to those who may posibly have encountered these issues or thought patterns and have questioned these things and their accuracy ..Guess im just talking to happily married people here that have never once questioned these things , this isnt about vows eithier your missing the point ,now i need to be on medication and im crazy right because my point of veiw doesnt match yours ..way to go Judge Dobo..funny how people defend their own ignorance at times, never said it was garuntee I was after eithier, Just sayin if you read these post on this site you will see people have problems in there marriage and no they all dont need medication , they need answers, and possibly there problem can be solved in truth..maybe what they have been taught isnt really true and thats why so much resistance ... What you dont know can very well hurt you at times , and what you know can hurt you also...seems like your pickin out the parts that bother you,(dobo) and missing what I am saying ..I asked for peoples thoughts on Marriage and the mechanics of it ..not to be Judged and critsized , called a liar and lunatik...well off to take the meds, thanks.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

thanks deejo ...this is helpful...but did you notice the quick absolute threw in there in this form '"That isnt a bad thing " to use these words towards a multitude of people is somewhat misleading because ..even if it wasnt a bad thing to you ..How do you know its not a bad thing for others.? ..this is what im talkin about how we use words and teach things , sometimes with the right intent but the wrong approach ...thanks.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Considering there are plenty of marriage resources which point out situations in which marriage is ill-advised, why do you think anyone is pushing marriage on anyone? 

Beyond that, marriage is a place to learn NOT to be selfish. It is a tool toward better things. That too many people use the tool for other purposes is a shame. 

And paragraphs, please? It is difficult to read your writing and if you had a little respect for those you want to communicate with, you'd try to use common convention to do so.


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## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> In all honesty, marriage isn't perfect. You will find quirks in your partner and things that make you a little crazy. Isn't that true about anything in life? You have pros and cons in a career, in friendships, with children, with everything. Perfection is non-existent. You take the good with the bad. However, if you ever invest yourself in marriage and take the covenant seriously, it is so rewarding. Yes, there will be tough days, but you have someone who knows you completely, You have someone with whom you can be yourself. You can share your fears, your anger, your disappointments and your joy. A spouse can rejoice with you and mourn with you. There is no other relationship on earth that compares. Longevity only brings about a deeper understanding of one another and deepens our character. We learn about sacrifice to please one another.
> 
> I don't think anyone should jump into marriage if not ready. However, I want you to understand that marriage is like anything in life, it's what you make of it. If both parties are truly invested, it's the most meaningful relationship on earth.


:iagree:

The concept of marriage is a noble one and can be a beautiful thing, in the right hands, in the wrong hands, it can be a living hell and can ruin lives.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

The real Question I think people need to ask is who taught me all this stuff , and why did i believe it ..Mommy I really apreciate you trying to understand me , But you all continue to use words like , BAD,GOOD,NEGATIVE,POSITVE,GOOD THING, BAD THING, this is all based on opinion ,which are based by feelings, which are triggered by Knowledge obtained. That knowledge being taught by some individual(person) which was taught by another . and so on and so on .its traditional way of looking at it ...

No man can tell a man what is good for him under the sun , Man is a misdirected creature how can he direct another? all that selfish stuff Dobo , well i think Mommy explained it . Hopefully you understand why you go to work everyday, for something in return ,Thus is self seeking,self preserving , and makes you selfish. These words Beg for definition . "LOVE CAN BE A BEAUTIFULL THING " define beutifull without using your taught knowledge? I will leave with a verse from 1 Cor 8:2 And if any man thinketh he knoweth anything, He knoweth NOTHING as he ought to know .. I would have to conclude this apostle Paul knew very well what I am talking about ..Before anyone can truly ever really know what Love is your gonna have to discard everything you once been taught and become as a child again , you can ram your fingers towars a new born baby's eye and they wont blink ..Why ? Because There is no fear within yet because there is no Knowledge yet ..


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

And becuase the baby has no knowledge yet - it depends on its mother to feed it, clothe it, nurture it (Love) - otherwise it dies. You see, the love that you are proclaiming is just an illusion is the same way - it's part of our human condition. What you are spewing here is similer in orwells 1984; a society with thought processes like yours where love, art, literature, MUSIC is portrayed by the "Party" as non-conducive to society - Read the book it will help you understand a world devoid of love. So, I think you are trying to raise an argumentive point on a forum that is full of people who are caring and loving and want to try to save something that is sacred and meaningful to them and that they have put significant sacrifice into becuase they have felt and experienced Love - they are all caring individuals with human faults. Also, since you are quoting the Bible so often, it might help if you learn about the teachings of Jesus - ALL OF IT IS ABOUT LOVE. I am sorry that you don't seem to understand the concept of commitment to another person and the JOY that it can bring, you will miss out on a lot in your life. I think you need counseling more than anyone on this forum.


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

I agree with your post Brighterlight. The teachings of Jesus are ALL about love. Until one can really open themselves up to the love of WHATEVER higher power they personally believe in, they cannot understand what it is to love THEMSELVES or another person. 
MBUCK, you sound totally and completely LOST, though I am sure you will argue with me on that point. What you say reminds me of things I heard from someone else, when they were just as lost and hurt as you. You are trying to intellectualize the things that you cannot understand, to justify somehow the things you feel. You feel these things, because you will not ALLOW yourself to feel anything else. I agree, you need counseling, but until YOU see you need counseling, it would be useless.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

Lost and confused you dont seem so lost to me. that was damn near on the mark.. What is all this Study Jesus and Love stuff ..God is lvoe and jesus was the word that came from Love and became Flesh. He is Love in the flesh ..no one ever doubted love..this thread has taken a turn toward emotions . is this the mens clubhouse seems like alot of women in here commenting . a woman will probably never understand what im talkin about thats why I came to the Mens clubhouse... people are Crucifying me as if i Liveby this mentality although i know it exist i dont Live by all these things i am just openminded enough to see that marriage can be a doube edged sword..its funny because alot of what i speak jacques ellul Had seen the same thing and wrote many books about it , the difference between Fatih and belief, see. whiles belief's can be fashioned by feeling's emotions, knowledge, theory;s etc. Faith hinges on simply Knowing that you dont know anything and God knows all , Faith is active when YOU ARE NOT ..It takes a way different stace .although they called Jaques ellul an anarchist for his veiws I beleive he simply undertood this , Beleif is the Key concensus to which we look for communal Life , but thats its purpose , However Black isnt black unless we as a whole come to an agreement that it's black, that it will be established as that color.. I can see i have Made some angry as I expected.contrary to popular opinion.

I really honestly Love my wife , she's not a problem ..she Loves the hell out of me... well I guess I will take my jargin elsewhere , because as one commenter said i am just here to destroy marriages and brainwash people..thanks for the content everyone ..really appreciated the input.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

"the stuff abouth growth ..the only growth in this world that isnt done in vain is that towards God. jer:17-9 The heart of man is deceitfull above all things and desperatly wicked who can know it .?" Interesting...because God is a HUGE fan of marriage. Don't believe me, believe Him. It's in his book. Also, we are capable of both fully hating and loving because we have choice, and we're fallen creatures. That being said: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

MBuck26 said:


> Im starting to question whether or not people are supposed to be with eachother for desperatly Long periods of time .. Think about all the oppurtunities you let pass by not being able to socialize freely and interact in soceity the way a single person could . all because of a teaching that was traditionally passed down ..something tells me we set our own lives up, and constrict ourselfs with our selfish knowledge, Men/women owning eachother , call it what you want But Job's, companies, and damn near everything in this world requires a contract of somesort ..for one purpose ,,to ensure that they recieve "THERE" end of the agreement ..and if they dont ..They can Hold you accountable with the signature next to an X ..If true love is true love why do you need a contract unless there is doubt or sum form of conceived suspicion that the person may not fully comply.. This can easily be translated as a form of manipulation or bribery but covered up by the word Love..


Lost, his statement here reads to me like he is not for marriage..but like you say, I could be wrong. Read his comment about about "manipulation" or "bribery". All I know is that 35 years ago I fell in love with my wife at age 14. We dated until we were 20 and have been married for 30 years; I don't think mbuck would understand what I felt for her back then and even now, but I can guaran-damn-tee you it wasn't a contract agreement. As a matter of fact, he is almost eluding to a pre-nuptual agreement - ahh, well, just in case it doesn't work out. 

I think he is conflicted or not too clear to me what he is eluding to becuase christianity is pro marriage; but then he calls it bribery or manipulation. See lastinline's last post.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

Lostandconfused said:


> I think what Buck is saying (and please forgive me because I could be SO VERY wrong) is that even though he acknowledges the thoughts he expresses when he asks questions about marriage and love, etc, is that HE himself believes in marriage. Even though he can see the pitfalls that lie therein, he still believes.
> 
> Again, I'm not sure, but that's what I "think" he's been saying. He just wonders if anyone else has seen the difficulties to be overcome and the irony in the contrasting emotions involved between two people who tie theirselves together in the most binding of ways. Is it possible he's trying to get us to come to some consensus? idk, I may be a reaching here
> 
> ...


This guy is definetly in the money ..Well Like i said if it was true Love why did you sign a contract then ? Couldnt it have been verbal (the vows were)..but because there was a form of document that meant that there was doubt involved on someones part and thus assurance was given through a written Legal agreement to further Hold accountabilty in the event of a default.. I have went through the motions of marriage and the rest , however I fully understand that a written document does not in no way bind me to my wife , But my written document on my heart, this can be seen in my actions.

We as Modern day traditionalized people, can very well be found having our hand held through this life by someone we are far from assured if their knowlege or teaching is anywhere accurate to truth ex.(the president and the likes of )we rely on mans definetion of marriage before we will ever rely on God's true definetion, and while God is all for marriage we dont really know the true definetion he meant because we rely on the preachers defintion without even consulting God through revelation , The same thing the Isrealites did in the wildernes they sent Moses ..why ? Go ye up the Mountain Moses and speak to God FOR US lest we Die and he consume us " never once seeking truth , in order to recieve revelation from God its proven that one must first discard of the earthly Bs he has once been forcefed, and seek a higher knowledge in spirtual things , Yes , I myself also thought I knew and had it all figured out until I met God and realized , how utterly foolish that notion was..

Funny how this way of thinking can be so much of a threat to some ..most of us ignorantly defend our own bondage, all the while like pinochio dancing aroung singing 'There are no strings on me " Funny how satan can have so many in bondage , wool over their eyes , truly believing they are free.. (speaking in general no offense)

dont forget to quote the apostle paul when he warns .."the time is short those who have wives ought be as thoough they had none.." You can Quote this marriage stuff allday and yes God is all for it because of course The church(body of people) are the bride of Christ and ought be showered in Love as the Father showers the son. 

please spare me on the Government requires the Marriage documents, while this is true , ask yourself why? if this is about you,your spouse, and God, ????? shines a new light I suppose , Me and my wife got married in my bedroom on our knees, Best choice I made in my life going to before God first , because of my hunger and desire to know the mechanics of marriage ..God granted & revealed plenty, i know i do not know it all far from it. But God does.

A marriage ought reflect your relatonship with God , and if you have a relationship with God he will reveal this through revalation if you ask..Gotta run be back later .......***** exits as another bomb explodes****


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

brighterlight said:


> I think he is conflicted or not too clear to me what he is eluding to becuase christianity is pro marriage; but then he calls it bribery or manipulation. See lastinline's last post.


Correction.. Can be translated as Manipulation ..I also said IF ..key word IF .true Love is true Love, 

God never made me sign a contract to marry him ..a simple humbled and surrender heart did the trick....Jerimiah 31:31 ..will explain to you where he wrote this agreement however....Good luck..


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Well, my vows were verbal (in church, in front of family and friends) and if I was not "required" to sign the state marriage license, I would'nt have. So if that is what you are talking about, the state/government requirements, then I digress - I agree with you. But it looks like from your post you are talking about a lifelong commitment being a pipe dream, which to mant, it is not.


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

Not trying to pin it to legalities LOST" just pointing out that this is what it becomes the moment someone gets a wild hair up their behind, and decides they no longer want to uphold there end of this agreement..Love dissapears in mid -air ,and say hello to your worst enemy "your spouse" ..Just read these threads ..one person sees marriage as a joint effort , and sincerly give themselves to the other , while the other maliciously see's pure benefit , 

The truth is .in every marriage there will be someone receiving more than they are giving ,and vice versa, occasionally ,the though of self pops up in there mind ,and begin feeling as if they deserve more than they are recieving ,Just like a job if they dont feel as if they are receiving what they have given to the comapny in return ,,they may just go elsewhere and leave you (the commited ,sincere, person) in the mudd. No dont go through your life in fear of this happeneing ..however if it does dont be so shocked ,thats all I am saying ..dont build on something without a solid foundation. and trust me you ..there are many on this site that have, and are experiencing rear of its ugly head..there are two sides of marriage ,not everyones heart is choosing heads..there are those considering tails.. All I am saying is dont get so Caught up in the dream that you forgot reality of this world still exist outside of marriage , PEOPLE GET MARRIED THEY DONT GET SAVED ...therefore the evil within is still just as present as it was before the happy little ceremony ,,even roses die ..Ive seen Marriage turn people worse and also turn people better , but you will never know its true impact until the end . and who knows that ? because happy can turn sad in the blink of an eye , and nothing in this world is eternal.. people arent good inning of themselves .they have no idea what good is. they draw there own definition and live by it ..Jeremiah 17:9 : there heart of man is deceitfull above all things and desperatly wicked WHO CAN KNOW IT ?? even man doesnt know the evil that lurks in his own heart ..the heart runs deeper than any ocean on earth ..Who can go that deep but God?


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## MBuck26 (Sep 13, 2009)

sorry about the gender screw-up ..you have been awesome ..My humble apology..


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## Critter (Oct 7, 2009)

In answer to your question MBuck26, my thoughts on marriage and the mechanics are that Marriage is a big risk. Some people are meant for it, and others are not. I don't think that everyone gets married because it was what they were taught. 

Everyone enters into a marriage for their own reasons and the mechanics aren't always the same. some people have open marriages, some agree to have needed separation periods, etc... Could it be that you have a generalized idea of what a marriage us "supposed" to be? 

I think that a marriage is simply what the 2 people involved in it make it to be. You can choose to devote 50 years of your life to someone but you (i'm speaking in general here) must know that you are taking the risk of them leaving you in an instant and never knowing why. It's about trust. If you have a deep, genuine connection, and trust you will most likely have a happy and fulfilling marriage. BUT EVEN THEN, you still can not predict what someone will do. Marriage is a CHANCE, a RISK, A LEAP OF FAITH. And just like everything else in life, you will never be able to control anymore than your role in it. 

I used to feel a lot like you did and I went to my parents and asked them "why do people marry?" Their answer (which I can only assume is THEIR reason for marrying) was, "because who wants to be alone for the rest of their life?"

I still am not sure it's a valid reason for marrying, but, fact is, it's THEIR reason. And they are willing to do whatever it takes and go through any amount of strife to be together for the rest of their lives. 

Am I making any sense here?


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