# Do you take your husband's desire for you for granted?



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think I do. It has always been there, a constant in our relationship. It is not something I would normally think about without having read about someone having issues with it.

If you also take it for granted, why do you think that is?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You mean sexually?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> You mean sexually?


Yes. But feel free to interpret "desire" more widely than that.


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## Remee81 (May 24, 2017)

Nope. Cherish it everyday. I learned at a very young age that the person u love most in your life can be ripped out of your arms in literally seconds. I watched my first love die in front of me. It broke me, literally like I'm messed up with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I never go to bed without a kiss goodnight, he never leaves for work without kissing me and tucking me back in. If I lost him I'd die. The fact that he desires me and loves me is something I thank "god" for every day. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I think that I probably did in my first marriage. I was a different person with a different maturity level then.
I try not to in my marriage with Odo. He is naturally less communicative than myself or outward in his display of emotions. I think that he is more than aware of this and so tries to be more outwardly affectionate and demonstrative of his desire for me. Lots of hugging without prompting, munching on my neck while I'm working, taking my hand, general care for my well-being. 

I'm sure that I take his desire for granted without meaning to, so I try to remain conscious of the signs.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I did. My husband use to always want sex. Always touching me and cuddling me when I was trying to sleep. I always complained... he told me one day your going to miss me doing this and regret saying this. Man was he right.


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## Spellbound (Apr 16, 2016)

My ex was always hot for me, but if we weren't having sex, he couldn't stand to be with me unless I just sat quietly. Now I'm with someone that not only things I'm hot, but also likes to talk with me, do fun things with me, and hear what I think. WIth him I feel like a person and not just a blow up doll that is propped in the corner to look pretty. I used to do some modeling so I know look good, (have stayed in shape and shock people when I say my age.) Maybe I take it for granted, but if that is all there is between you, then it is lame. 
Funny thing, people seem to expect me to be with a guy that is equal on the 1 to 10 looks scale, but the ones my age that look good are usually *******s. It is fun to be with someone that can't believe he eyes when he looks at me  
Maybe I took my ex being attracted to me for granted, but I think he took me being attractive for granted. It was my job to be pretty so I'd better do it well. Any woman can learn to give an amazing blow job and I bet men find that more attractive than a picture perfect body. We keep our talents as we get older, but no one keeps a perfect body.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I've really tried to answer this question jld but to be honest i don't think I've ever felt his desire for me. When I used to say this to him, he would insist he does desire me. At first I thought that maybe I'm just too needy and I can't feel it because I'm so needy. But now I realize he can't show it because what he truly desires is for me to adore him without him having to do anything uncomfortable like remembering to be affection or give a compliment. 

So for me the answer is no. Can't take it for granted if you don't have it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> I've really tried to answer this question jld but to be honest i don't think I've ever felt his desire for me. When I used to say this to him, he would insist he does desire me. At first I thought that maybe I'm just too needy and I can't feel it because I'm so needy. But now I realize he can't show it because what he truly desires is for me to adore him without him having to do anything uncomfortable like remembering to be affection or give a compliment.
> 
> So for me the answer is no. Can't take it for granted if you don't have it.


So much of this is exactly what I wanted to say about how I feel my wife feels about me. I can't take for granted something I don't feel I ever really had very strongly in the first place.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

jld said:


> I think I do. It has always been there, a constant in our relationship. It is not something I would normally think about without having read about someone having issues with it.
> 
> If you also take it for granted, why do you think that is?


Great topic, JLD.

As a corrolary question, how does this dynamic work with regards to responsive desire? Is a woman with responsive desire even wired to notice if her husband desires her when she's not "in the moment"? And does it matter as much to her since she's in a default "off" state anyway?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

No, I don't take it for granted. And I don't think H does either.

We both come from long term marriages where the other spouse didn't seem to like us much, or seemed to focus on themselves. So we both very much appreciate the desires, the touches, the words, the deeds..... all of it. We appreciate each other and cherish each other...and we show it. 

Today is our 11th anniversary of making a huge life decision when I moved from Florida to Texas to start our life together.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

As a man......I will share with you that if you take his affection for granted you have a VERY good chance of being left behind.......ESPECIALLY if he has experienced being dissed before and is sensitive to that experience. Ask me how I know............I would not put up with it for 10 minutes before I was "outta there."


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

No I don't, I thrive on it.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I've really tried to answer this question jld but to be honest i don't think I've ever felt his desire for me. When I used to say this to him, he would insist he does desire me. At first I thought that maybe I'm just too needy and I can't feel it because I'm so needy. But now I realize he can't show it because what he truly desires is for me to adore him without him having to do anything uncomfortable like remembering to be affection or give a compliment.
> 
> So for me the answer is no. Can't take it for granted if you don't have it.


I have never seen you as needy, AP. You have always seemed so strong, the leader in your relationship.

It is pretty amazing that your husband just accepted those years of sexlessness. But to me that would say that he very much desires to be with you, that he was willing to forego sex just to remain with you.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Betrayedone said:


> As a man......I will share with you that if you take his affection for granted you have a VERY good chance of being left behind.......ESPECIALLY if he has experienced being dissed before and is sensitive to that experience. Ask me how I know............I would not put up with it for 10 minutes before I was "outta there."


I don't think Dug and I can relate to this at all.

I don't fear Dug's love or desire changing any more than I fear the sun not rising again. It is a non-issue in my world.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> So much of this is exactly what I wanted to say about how I feel my wife feels about me. I can't take for granted something I don't feel I ever really had very strongly in the first place.


You seemed very happy with her before you got married, Sam. Remember how excited you were?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Remee81 said:


> Nope. Cherish it everyday. I learned at a very young age that the person u love most in your life can be ripped out of your arms in literally seconds. I watched my first love die in front of me. It broke me, literally like I'm messed up with anxiety and depression and PTSD. I never go to bed without a kiss goodnight, he never leaves for work without kissing me and tucking me back in.* If I lost him I'd die. *The fact that he desires me and loves me is something I thank "god" for every day.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Remee, the bolded is concerning. 

Have you spoken to a counselor about this?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Satya said:


> I think that I probably did in my first marriage. I was a different person with a different maturity level then.
> I try not to in my marriage with Odo. He is naturally less communicative than myself or outward in his display of emotions. I think that he is more than aware of this and so tries to be more outwardly affectionate and demonstrative of his desire for me. Lots of hugging without prompting, munching on my neck while I'm working, taking my hand, general care for my well-being.
> 
> I'm sure that I take his desire for granted without meaning to, so I try to remain conscious of the signs.


It seems like second marriages are more fragile than first marriages. People are more aware that things can go wrong--very, very wrong. And this awareness may make them try harder, be more cautious in their actions towards each other, take much less for granted.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> I did. My husband use to always want sex. Always touching me and cuddling me when I was trying to sleep. I always complained... *he told me one day your going to miss me doing this and regret saying this.* Man was he right.


That is interesting, that he said that. Did he ever say why? Did he mean that when he was dead you would miss it?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Spellbound said:


> My ex was always hot for me, but if we weren't having sex, he couldn't stand to be with me unless I just sat quietly. Now I'm with someone that not only things I'm hot, but also likes to talk with me, do fun things with me, and hear what I think. WIth him I feel like a person and not just a blow up doll that is propped in the corner to look pretty. I used to do some modeling so I know look good, (have stayed in shape and shock people when I say my age.) Maybe I take it for granted, but if that is all there is between you, then it is lame.
> Funny thing, people seem to expect me to be with a guy that is equal on the 1 to 10 looks scale, but the ones my age that look good are usually *******s. It is fun to be with someone that can't believe he eyes when he looks at me
> Maybe I took my ex being attracted to me for granted, but I think he took me being attractive for granted. It was my job to be pretty so I'd better do it well. Any woman can learn to give an amazing blow job and I bet men find that more attractive than a picture perfect body. We keep our talents as we get older, but no one keeps a perfect body.


Glad you have found someone who appreciates *all* of you, and not just the outer layer, Spellbound.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Great topic, JLD.
> 
> As a corrolary question, how does this dynamic work with regards to responsive desire? Is a woman with responsive desire even wired to notice if her husband desires her when she's not "in the moment"? And does it matter as much to her since she's in a default "off" state anyway?


Not sure, Fozzy. 

I can be brought "in the mood" pretty easily, myself. But that is because the underlying relationship is good.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SunnyT said:


> No, I don't take it for granted. And I don't think H does either.
> 
> We both come from long term marriages where the other spouse didn't seem to like us much, or seemed to focus on themselves. *So we both very much appreciate the desires, the touches, the words, the deeds..... all of it. We appreciate each other and cherish each other...and we show it. *
> 
> Today is our 11th anniversary of making a huge life decision when I moved from Florida to Texas to start our life together.


Very nice, Spicy. And congratulations.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MrsHolland said:


> No I don't, I thrive on it.


I remember your saying desire was a big issue in your first marriage. So glad you have found it and happiness in this relationship.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I think I have taken it for granted at certain points in the marriage - mine has been a long term up and down sort of marriage but in that department things have been usually good, except for when he had ED for a while, which I think was more to do with the state of our marriage.

Do I take it for granted now - I don't think so. But i guess you would have to ask himself.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

jld said:


> It seems like second marriages are more fragile than first marriages. People are more aware that things can go wrong--very, very wrong. And this awareness may make them try harder, be more cautious in their actions towards each other, take much less for granted.


I don't know if I would describe what I currently experience as fragility, as I actually think my second marriage is stronger in many ways, particularly my ability to confront what I see as issues and nip them in the bud quickly. I actually have no fear of things falling apart this time because we are much more mature in our handling of things than either I or my ex H were at the time (we were young). In my first marriage, we made many mistakes that posters write about here - holding in resentments, threatening divorce, bringing up things years after they'd seemingly been "settled." Odo and I don't do any of those things.

The comment on awareness though, I feel is spot on, @jld. I'm only human which is why I said that I probably have taken Odo for granted at some time or will do in the future, without meaning. So yes, I try my best to recognize that desire and respond because I know that it can only be good for the relationship. And I don't think of it as some kind of "burden," I just think of it as something that is too important to the barometer of the marriage to ignore, pretend it doesn't exist, or push to the side.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Satya said:


> I don't know if I would describe what I currently experience as fragility, as I actually think my second marriage is stronger in many ways, particularly my ability to confront what I see as issues and nip them in the bud quickly. I actually have no fear of things falling apart this time because we are much more mature in our handling of things than either I or my ex H were at the time (we were young). In my first marriage, we made many mistakes that posters write about here - holding in resentments, threatening divorce, bringing up things years after they'd seemingly been "settled." Odo and I don't do any of those things.
> 
> The comment on awareness though, I feel is spot on, @jld. I'm only human which is why I said that I probably have taken Odo for granted at some time or will do in the future, without meaning. So yes, I try my best to recognize that desire and respond because I know that it can only be good for the relationship. And I don't think of it as some kind of "burden,"* I just think of it as something that is too important to the barometer of the marriage to ignore, pretend it doesn't exist, or push to the side*.


I think that is likely at least partly because of what you experienced in your first marriage. You know that things, if not managed, can deteriorate, and sometimes quickly. It is not just advice you read; it is an experience you have lived.

Thing is, though, Satya, you faced an extraordinary circumstance in your first marriage. I cannot imagine anyone finding out that their husband was planning to have a sex change, and actually being okay with it. I would not only have been out the door immediately, but I don't think I ever would have spoken to him again, or even looked at him, or not for a very long time. It may have been lawyer contact only throughout the divorce.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Maybe I did take it for granted. At the beginning of our relationship, I was largely appreciated for being a female body to have sex with. But he even told me that I wasn't his type [and other more painful stuff].
> 
> So, I never felt that he had a lot of desire for *me*-----I knew that he had a lot of desire for sex. Confusing.
> 
> ...


It sounds like you feel he settled for you? 

That has to hurt.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

jld said:


> It seems like second marriages are more fragile than first marriages. People are more aware that things can go wrong--very, very wrong. And this awareness may make them try harder, be more cautious in their actions towards each other, take much less for granted.


I very much agree with this @jld, and often see my friends who married young take their spouses for granted - both men and women. They've become very complacent.

I NEVER take my husbands desire for me, or the fact that I have him (we're so lucky we found each other) for granted. Ever. I think that's partly because we met later (I was 38 and he was 43), and partly because the "relationship" I was in prior to him was abusive, and I was treated terribly.

I cherish every moment we have together. He never goes to work without a kiss and me telling him I love him, I tell him multiple times a day - and it's not a habit or I feel like have to, I just feel it so I say it.

If the worst was to ever happen, he'll know without a shadow of a doubt how much I utterly love and adore him.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

frusdil said:


> I very much agree with this @jld, and often see my friends who married young take their spouses for granted - both men and women. They've become very complacent.
> 
> I NEVER take my husbands desire for me, or the fact that I have him (we're so lucky we found each other) for granted. Ever. I think that's partly because we met later (I was 38 and he was 43), and partly because the "relationship" I was in prior to him was abusive, and I was treated terribly.
> 
> ...


I am sure he appreciates that, frusdil. He is a lucky man.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Physically, yes he "settled" for me.
> 
> 
> But in many other areas, I know that he is proud of me and values me as his wife.


Good to hear.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I definetly took my x wife's desire for granted.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

jld said:


> I cannot imagine anyone finding out that their husband was planning to have a sex change, and actually being okay with it. I would not only have been out the door immediately, but I don't think I ever would have spoken to him again, or even looked at him, or not for a very long time. It may have been lawyer contact only throughout the divorce.


That was pretty much how it went down. We did communicate up to the end via email, but only about the logistics, solicitor fees, court fees, etc.
It did take me a while to leave the home. That's probably the only thing I would have done differently - physically left sooner so I could heal faster.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

No doubt my wife takes my desire for her for granted. Certainly, I have encouraged that as well. Even with the sexual mismatch (she's LD), I steel feel it's important for her to have the reassurance that I desire her (without pestering) and her only at all times. She appreciates that and it definitely makes things better when she is in the mood.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> So much of this is exactly what I wanted to say about how I feel my wife feels about me. I can't take for granted something I don't feel I ever really had very strongly in the first place.


I think for you Sam, there is a very strong element of prior damage in terms of your wife and her need. Her prior experiences have left her in a state of such need she simply can't. To show desire, for her -I think, is to give over too much power. If she shows how much she desires you you can use that against her. That's how I see your wife. Whereas my husband simply doesn't have the emotional range. Doesnt have a favorite food, doesn't crave anything specific, doesn't ever show a passion for anything. He goes from 4.5 to 5.3 while my emotional range goes from 1-10. I think your wife has a similar emotional range as me, but she guards it very closely to keep herself from being too vulnerable.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I know my H appreciates me, but desire, no. He's never even called me bautiful, just "cute". I do know he takes my desire for granted though, and it sucks. Yes, we have talked about all this.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Great topic, JLD.
> 
> As a corrolary question, how does this dynamic work with regards to responsive desire? Is a woman with responsive desire even wired to notice if her husband desires her when she's not "in the moment"? And does it matter as much to her since she's in a default "off" state anyway?



That is a great question too! 

My guess would be that she takes your desire for granted. I don't think everyone feels being desired the same way though. Someone in the default off state wouldn't feel a partner's desire in a sexual way, I think. 

I would like to know if your wife feels your desire for her. Does she feel that you wish to have sex and she happens to be there? Does she feel that she is desireable and therefore you wish to have sex with her because she is desireable?

I think it depends on just how responsive she is? How difficult is it for her to become sexually aroused? What inner monologue does she have to silence and what inner monologue does she have to bring forth in order to respond sexually?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Fozzy said:


> Great topic, JLD.
> 
> As a corrolary question, how does this dynamic work with regards to responsive desire? Is a woman with *responsive desire *even wired to notice if her husband desires her when she's not "in the moment"? And does it matter as much to her since she's in a default "off" state anyway?


In the past...I DID take my husband's desire for granted... not sure where my head was at, or how to even explain that..he was the "microwave".. I was the "crock pot" many times back then- which would be more "Responsive"....I always had a healthy drive , felt the NEED after so many days...but for young men.. they feel THAT DAILY... so I didn't "GET IT" or understand HOW he was feeling.. wanting me THAT BAD.. and could do it multiple times a day....

It's just that when that feeling came over me- and it did & it was STRONG like a fire too... He was there, READY and I was always satisfied...so I wasn't personally suffering with that longing - is how I would explain when our drives are lesser - us "responsives" that need aroused & heated up...

When he wanted it, if I gave the slightest hint I wasn't in the mood (just a book in my hands)... he'd not push.. that's just how he is... but because of his being this way.. I wasn't in-tuned to HIS NEED.. until I had my own sex drive increase....

THEN It was like the sky opened up and I became the *sexually NEEDY one* & it seemed like HE was slowing down (I didn't like that at [email protected]#) .... Unlike my husband... I couldn't contain how I was feeling... He made that easy though.... very inviting.. which just stirred my love for him deeper.. I had a NEED to bring us both there, also to know he wanted to go with me or yeah... I would have been terribly frustrated, become angry even.... but also emotionally crushed.. 

Because of this enlightening/ awakening experience ...I feel I have been forever changed.. NEVER EVER will I take him / his desire for granted again.. I cherish it.. I am very sensitive to it now.... I can feel the heart of those who long for that...it's one of the most fulfilling aspects of love, of shared pleasure and bonding...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

jld said:


> I have never seen you as needy, AP. You have always seemed so strong, the leader in your relationship.
> 
> It is pretty amazing that your husband just accepted those years of sexlessness. But to me that would say that he very much desires to be with you, that he was willing to forego sex just to remain with you.


I believe he remained with me for the same reason he very rarely broached the subject of sexlessness; passivity. It had nothing at all to do with his desire to be with me and had everything to do with complacency.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Answering for my wife. Yes. Yes she does.

Similar to Anon Pink but not the same my wife is horrible with at least a sexual emotional range. Her favorite body part of mine? Hell if I know. etc etc. Who knows maybe its her, maybe its her with regards to me.


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## Robbie1234 (Feb 8, 2017)

My wife was so confident in my desire for her that when she decided to cheat she didn't try very hard to hide it.I will never forget her face when she came home after being with her lover to find the lock's changed on the front door and all of her stuff in black bags at her parents house.Where we lived was my family home and she had no claim on it.She denied everything but I had photos of her kissing her then boss in a bar only fifty miles from where we lived.They had a candlelight meal in a restaurant and a friend of mine caught it on his phone.She didn't have enough sense to order room service.It took me a year before I started to go out again but now I am happier than ever.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Maybe but maybe not.

There is a limit to how often I'm going to beg my wife for sex. I have asked enough that I assume she knows how important is is to me and that isn't enough to make her change her behavior. I have made my desires very clear. She is not a stupid woman, she must know - so either she doesn't believe or doesn't care. 

So I'm left with a clear simple choice: Continue to live in an otherwise good marriage with a very limited sex life, or leave my wife and find someone else. 

There is lots to balance between those two. I've decided to stay, but I don't see that as passive or complacent. It is simply taking the least bad of two options. 





Anon Pink said:


> I believe he remained with me for the same reason he very rarely broached the subject of sexlessness; passivity. It had nothing at all to do with his desire to be with me and had everything to do with complacency.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Robbie1234 said:


> My wife was so confident in my desire for her that when she decided to cheat she didn't try very hard to hide it.I will never forget her face when she came home after being with her lover to find the lock's changed on the front door and all of her stuff in black bags at her parents house.Where we lived was my family home and she had no claim on it.She denied everything but I had photos of her kissing her then boss in a bar only fifty miles from where we lived.They had a candlelight meal in a restaurant and a friend of mine caught it on his phone.She didn't have enough sense to order room service.It took me a year before I started to go out again but now I am happier than ever.


Yeah I can imagine she denied it right up until you showed her the pictures.I was reading on another forum once about a guy who caught his wife in bed with her female lover.She wouldn't come out from under the covers and the guy stormed out.When he came home she denied it was her! The thing was her girlfriend had allready pleaded with him not to "out" them as they were both teachers in the same high school.
Another guy came home and found his wife in bed with her ex,she shouted at him "it's not what you think".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Difficult to resist asking in a mild curious voice "then what is it?". Might be fun to watch them try to explain why they are naked in bed together. 





Andy1001 said:


> snip
> Another guy came home and found his wife in bed with her ex,she shouted at him "it's not what you think".


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

uhtred said:


> Maybe but maybe not.
> 
> There is a limit to how often I'm going to beg my wife for sex. I have asked enough that I assume she knows how important is is to me and that isn't enough to make her change her behavior. I have made my desires very clear. She is not a stupid woman, she must know - so either she doesn't believe or doesn't care.
> 
> ...


While we are far from sexless, I completely understand the whole limit to how long something is brought up until it is just given up on...a place of indifference. That is where I am with sussing out my wife's attraction to me. A couple of years ago, when this issue would come up every month or so, she would improve in meeting that need for a week or so, and it would feel genuine, would put a smile on my face, a spring in my step. It just became absolutely exhausting revisiting this, until I got to a point where I just don't really care any more, it is no longer a need of mine, and in the rare event that she does verbally acknowledge her attraction to me, it has about the same affect on me as her doing the dishes after I cooked dinner does on me.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

uhtred said:


> Maybe but maybe not.
> 
> There is a limit to how often I'm going to beg my wife for sex. I have asked enough that I assume she knows how important is is to me and that isn't enough to make her change her behavior. I have made my desires very clear. She is not a stupid woman, she must know - so either she doesn't believe or doesn't care.
> 
> ...


I did not realize that you're in the same situation I am in. Everyone, including my wife, seems to think that we have a very happy marriage. In public, she always wants to hold hands and we do many activities together. There's a peck on the lips every morning before going to work and a quick "love ya" almost every day. We can easily talk about politics, religion, economics, and sports. We never argue (which is a red flag). 

The two things that we never talk about are love and sex. She has no interest in either topic. She's easily the least romantic and sentimental female I've ever met. When we have sex three times per month, she enjoys it and even is happy to first wear any lingerie that I request. However, if I don't initiate, I am fairly certain that she would not miss ever having sex again. 

In short, I believe that she settled for me because I'm a nice stable person and she was over 40 and never married. It was the first time that I had a romantic relationship with a lady who wasn't attracted to me so I didn't see the warning signs. Therefore while she tells others that she is happy and must be quite confident that I would never leave her, I'm determining when to separate.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

uhtred said:


> Difficult to resist asking in a mild curious voice "then what is it?". Might be fun to watch them try to explain why they are naked in bed together.


I swear this is true.I was dating a girl a few years ago in Boston and one night her,her married sister who was visiting for the weekend,me and a neighbor of theirs who was also married were having a drink at my girlfriends apt.Myself and my gf said we were headed to bed and the neighbor said he was leaving as soon as he finished his drink.About an hour later I came out of the bedroom to use the bathroom and my girlfriends sister and the neighbor were both undressed from the waist down.The got kinda flustered when they saw me but the neighbor came out with what I thought was a great example of thinking on your feet.
He said they were comparing jean sizes.
Genius.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

She will be "completely blindsided" when you tell her you are leaving. 






Steve1000 said:


> I did not realize that you're in the same situation I am in. Everyone, including my wife, seems to think that we have a very happy marriage. In public, she always wants to hold hands and we do many activities together. There's a peck on the lips every morning before going to work and a quick "love ya" almost every day. We can easily talk about politics, religion, economics, and sports. We never argue (which is a red flag).
> 
> The two things that we never talk about are love and sex. She has no interest in either topic. She's easily the least romantic and sentimental female I've ever met. When we have sex three times per month, she enjoys it and even is happy to first wear any lingerie that I request. However, if I don't initiate, I am fairly certain that she would not miss ever having sex again.
> 
> In short, I believe that she settled for me because I'm a nice stable person and she was over 40 and never married. It was the first time that I had a romantic relationship with a lady who wasn't attracted to me so I didn't see the warning signs. Therefore while she tells others that she is happy and must be quite confident that I would never leave her, I'm determining when to separate.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

uhtred said:


> She will be "completely blindsided" when you tell her you are leaving.


It's still some time away. In the meantime, it's nice to have a good activity partner.


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