# anxiety and BP taking over...



## stylist4154 (Aug 26, 2008)

My husband and I have been married for almost two years (two weeks away)!!!!  For the most part, our relationship is pretty stellar. Lately I have been having some issues with his attitude. Normally I can handle it, knowing that I can be just the same to him sometimes. Backtrack alittle...a few months before the wedding, he started having some anxiety and Blood pressure problems. He was put on an "as needed" anxiety medication. His eating habits weren't the greatest and he also smoked. He started keeping track of his BP more frequently and it seemed like the anxiety medication helped a little in keeping it at a better level. (he has a pretty high stress job then throw in wedding plans...) Over the next two years, it stayed at a decent level. About a month and a half ago he was having pressure in his chest and tingling in his left arm. I took him to the emergency room and his BP was out of this world. Everything else came back normal. They basically said it was a lifestyle change he needed as far as eating habits and stress levels. (he quit smoking back in March) They wanted him to start the dash diet, so I spent hours upon hours researching this diet and completely changed the way we eat, got rid of most of our food and started from scratch. It was kinda fuin though. That alone has lowered his BP by 60 or so. (He was a fast food junkie.. and VERY hard to cook for) No more chest pressure, normal BP. stress at work for him is inevitable, but he loves his job so I don't see that changing and that's ok. He broke up with McDonalds and Burger King, so that's good start 
Now, I know that disagreements in a relationship are part of growing together. We are learning to "fight" in a healthy way by not bashing each other into the ground, but now he has started using this BP thing as a crutch. If something we are discussing starts to get a little heated, he will grab his chest (picture the pledge of allegiance) and tell me that I am raising his BP. Of course this is always after he gets his opinion thrown in and before I get a chance to explain mine.... The first time he did it, it infuriated me. I tried to keep my cool and just walked away so I didn't explode and "raise it even more". Now, I just want to laugh when he does it. Itry to be concious of the fact that, yes he has had problems with it, but it's been steadily normal for awhile now. He'll take the stress at work, but then he expects me to not "cause him any". I don't try to, I refuse to be the nagging wife, but when I want to be heard, I want to be heard and I don't think that is unfair especially because I will listen to him. How far should I let him take this? I mean, seriously, one time that he blamed me for it, I made him take it and it was completely normal. I don't want to be insensitive, but I also don't want to be run over.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Yeah - Just before I got to the end of your post I was thinking, the next time he does the "pledge gesture" you should in all seriousness, and with a very concerned look on your face, say, oh sorry, and rush over and take a BP reading.

You gota gota gota have fun


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Next time tell him you will email him the rest and when he is ready you expect an email back. This way he can't say his BP is raising and he can walk away from it as many times as he wants.

draconis


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