# Been stuck for so long



## stuckduck3 (Mar 7, 2013)

Hello. I am new here. I found this throught search. I have been with my husband for 14.5 years. We took a break for about 5 years in between. He controls everything. Everything is in just his name. I lost my DL when I got a no ins. ticket. I do not have access to any money, except the child support I get for my daughter. I was driving w/o my DL, until my lovely husband tried to have me arrested for driving. We got into a fight and it got physical and I took off. I have a daughter, age 14.5 and we have a son, age 12. I try to set rules for the kids to follow, but if dad doesn't follow them, neither do they. He has pretty much turned them both against me. I feel like a prisoner. I do not work and have not worked in over 10 years. Making it impossible to get a job. Everytime that I have come close to getting a job, husband finds a problem with it. Like, he just can't stand the thought of me having anything of my own. Yes, everything we have is marital property, according to the law, not him. I have no family and no means. We live in a small town that only has a grocery store and a post office. The closest Wal-Mart is 20 miles away. If I want to go some place, he has to take me there and that is only if he feels like it, after having worked all day. I want to leave, but with no money and no means, there is no way. I would never be able to live w/o my kids and they would not want to go to some homeless shelter with me. Please help!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I know you don't want to live without your kids, but the best way for you to get out may be to get to a womens shelter. He's been physical with you. There must be one somewhere near you that a friend or relative could drive you to?

Once you're there they can help you with the kids, the job, and the divorce.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

you dont have to be abused.
physically or verbally.
you have to decide that for yourself. but its the truth.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WomensLaw.org | Home

Go there and call for help. Your husband is essentially keeping you hostage. he has isolated you, he has made you purposely completely dependent on him. Get legal advice so you have legal access to funds. With legal access to funds, you can make decisions that are best for you and your kids. 

You can even arrange counseling over the phone so you have someone to support you. If he ever hits you, threatens to hit you, walk away and call the police. Don't threaten to do, just do it.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Ditto what others have said. I ahve been a landlord for a very long time and deal with lots of battered women shelters. I can assure you that every time you get help it weakens his grip and he loses all power over oyu very quickly even though he has likely convinced you otherwise to control you. 

Go to a shelter and get your life back and then proceed forward with the other steps needed to get your kids. He doesnt stand a chance of keeping a grip on you or your kids. When the kids see their mom blossom into a fully functioning adult, they will want to be with you not him and his controlling ways


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Such a sad story, Im sorry for the life you feel stuck in!


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## elizabethdennis (Jan 16, 2013)

Mr Used To Know said:


> Ditto what others have said. I ahve been a landlord for a very long time and deal with lots of battered women shelters. I can assure you that every time you get help it weakens his grip and he loses all power over oyu very quickly even though he has likely convinced you otherwise to control you.
> 
> Go to a shelter and get your life back and then proceed forward with the other steps needed to get your kids. He doesnt stand a chance of keeping a grip on you or your kids. When the kids see their mom blossom into a fully functioning adult, they will want to be with you not him and his controlling ways


I totally agree. It might be hard to live the kids but there is no other way to stop this abuse. Sometimes we need to sacrifice just to place everything in order again.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Listen to the other posters here.Your husband wants to convince you that you have no options.Hes a bully to you.

If you allow this chance are he will do this to your kids or
they will repeat the pattern you are living now.Do you want this for them?

Your husband is trying to convince you that theres nothing you can do.Hes wrong,but it will only change when you commit
to trying to get out.


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