# Torn



## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

I have been married for 34 years, many of which have not been happy. We only knew each other for 9 months when we got married and I was 5 months pregnant at the time. Almost 10 years ago we lost a child to suicide. My husband started drinking very heavily and was being verbally abusive. I withdrew in order to cope. I got involved with a guy at work. We had an affair for the next 6 years. During that time my husband cut down on the drinking and was dealing with the death of our child much better. I decided it was time to end it with the bf. That was 2 years ago. I don't really feel like I'm in love with my husband. I don't enjoy sex with him and we rarely do it anymore. About a month ago I ran into the ex-bf and we started seeing each other again. He told me that he loves me and always has and I love him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my husband, but I want to be with someone I love and that I am sexually attracted to. I know what I am doing is morally wrong. I am not looking for anyone to judge me, but maybe there is someone out there who is going through the same thing. I'm so torn. I know what the right thing is to do, but I want to be with someone I'm in love with. ConfusedChloe


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Not quite sure why you're posting here, you know exactly what to do.


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## wonders73 (Apr 20, 2013)

ConfusedChloe.... 

You both are hurting in your marriage now...you will both hurt if you divorce...for a while. Then you can both move on and carry on different lives. This is part of your journey... just make a choice and stick with it. Do it for YOU - not because of your BF. You don't know what your future holds but if your real goal is to be happy... don't rely on another man for your happiness... find it from within first and "then" let that be your guide.


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## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

Thank you wonders73. Very good advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

confusedchloe said:


> I have been married for 34 years, many of which have not been happy. We only knew each other for 9 months when we got married and I was 5 months pregnant at the time. Almost 10 years ago we lost a child to suicide. My husband started drinking very heavily and was being verbally abusive. I withdrew in order to cope. I got involved with a guy at work. We had an affair for the next 6 years. During that time my husband cut down on the drinking and was dealing with the death of our child much better. I decided it was time to end it with the bf. That was 2 years ago. I don't really feel like I'm in love with my husband. I don't enjoy sex with him and we rarely do it anymore. About a month ago I ran into the ex-bf and we started seeing each other again. He told me that he loves me and always has and I love him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt my husband, but I want to be with someone I love and that I am sexually attracted to. I know what I am doing is morally wrong. I am not looking for anyone to judge me, but maybe there is someone out there who is going through the same thing. I'm so torn. I know what the right thing is to do, but I want to be with someone I'm in love with. ConfusedChloe


Divorce your husband.

You don't love him
You aren't intimate with him
He makes you unhappy.

Divorce him and move on


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