# Unsure What to Do...



## Ginron (Oct 19, 2013)

Hello,

I'm hoping somebody out there will be able to offer some advice. I've been married for almost 2 years (anniversary in May) but we've been together for 6 years. I want to say upfront that I love my husband and I can't imagine life without him... but...

I've discovered that my husband pretends to be a girl online. I know when he has played online video games, he plays as a girl but this is different. He has a whole Twitter account set up as some 20-something year old (who is bi). I found out this a couple months ago as "she" posted a photo and I recognized our apartment. I confronted him about it and he said he took the picture but sent it to a friend. I asked if he was her, he said no. He said maybe it was his friend from the online game he played. I was pretty skeptical but I tried to let it go. 

Tonight I was working on work and had to retrieve a file from my recycling bin. There was a deleted picture from today of a skirt. I checked "her" profile and sure enough, picture of skirt was posted and some kind of "great weather" tweet. I don't know what to do. When he is on this twitter account he flirts with other girls (as a girl) and favourites a lot of naked female pictures.

His phone is constantly going off but I haven't checked because see... he's done this before. I read from one of his online games a chat he was having with another girl so I checked his phone. Sure enough there were texts there between the two, him acting as a lesbian, saying his girlfriend was so ****ing hot. He has never, ever said that about me. We had a huge fight about it and he kept telling me that it didn't mean anything and that I needed to calm down and trust him. To be honest, I haven't really trusted him since. He's said throughout our whole relationship that he can't be with somebody who doesn't trust him. His phone is password protected and he refuses for me to see it (I asked before when I saw that picture and he said we should be allowed our privacy).

And so today happened and I don't know how to handle this.

I'm not good at confrontation, I'm a huge wimp, but my feelings are hurt. I don't think he would physically cheat on me but he's doing this for some reason, right?

Why would a 30-something man with no job but a wife who loves him do this? 

I hope I've posted this in the right spot and that somebody out there can give me advice. 

Thanks.


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## Jamestone (Mar 30, 2014)

Because its easier to pick up women now days as a female than a male he thinks. This may or may not be true but he feels he would have better luck this way. Plus he gets to live out fantasy of two women. There is not much at all good about this. I guess you could be happy he is acting as a woman so if someone does fall for him it ls very unlikely anything physical will happen becausenthey are expecting a woman not a man. 

Sounds like he is doing this to live out a fantasy he has. Not to replace you. If hat makes sense. Its still very wrong and you should make sure he understands that you dont think its acceptable. I dont know what your personal feelings are about women and if you would be willing to play the role and let him play online with you joining him. It could be just a personal fetish and he is getting cheep thrills from it. But it does not sound like he is getting emotionally attatched. This is one mans opinion. I could be totally wrong too. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Sounds like you H has some kind of fetish. Not sure what though since it is highly unlikely he'll be able to actually do anything with any of these girls-they're sure to figure out their new friend is actually a male.

In order to have a truly intimate relationship, there must be absolutely honesty. He is clearly hiding a part of himself from you. 

There are a couple of ways to proceed. 

You could back way off, apologize, make him feel totally secure n your trust as you secretly investigate. Depending on what kind of phone and who gets the bills, you might be able to get more info. You can also install a key logger on the computer and check his history even through private browser windows. Once you get this info, you confront which will no doubt end the relationship if he refuses to stop engaging in behavior that hurts you.

You could have a very serious conversation in which you explain your feeling about honesty, openness and how they tie in with trust. He is asking for your faith when he has shown you very good reasons not to have faith in him. Of course, this takes the ability to stand firmly in your conviction and not back down. You'd turn this issues into a make or break issue. He either fesses up exactly what he is doing and why, and opens his cell and computer for your inspection or you end the relationship.

Your last option is to forget everything you know and turn a blind eye to everything that seems fishy going forward. This won't end the relationship but it will prevent you from having a real relationship with him.


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