# if I suspect a affair should I find out the truth?



## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

Should I take steps tp protect myself? Find out the truth?? or believe in her & not be so parenoid???


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You diserve to be treated with respect from your SO, and if you feel like you aren't getting the respect, then by all means find out what is really going on. Do the investagation that you need to do to find out if your being taken advandage. We all diserve good things, and being cheated on is just wrong on every level.

You have to consider what is at stake (STD's, finacial hardship,) so please protect your self and quitly investigate your SO. Especialy if they are secretive, invade that secrecy and find the truth. If you do find some inappropriate behavior, get the hard evidence that you can confront her with. If you just tell her that you know, she will deny it all.

Keep in mind if you have to ask, it most likely is, so go with your gut . Quitly do you research and protect your self respect. 

Good luck.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

WOW is right, if only I took some measures 13 years ago, My marriage would have been better off. See, I believed my W back then and look what happened to me (mutible affairs) so please look into the possiblity of an affair. Remember the affair is the end result or biproduct of a problematic relationship. So go and fix it.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You have the right to be informed, so by all means, find out. But be warned: when people suspect things, they demand the truth, pull teeth to get it, then after they get it, they almost always wish they never had known.


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## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

Yeah I dont want to know but dont want to be used & made a fool of & taken to the bank!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

F-102 said:


> You have the right to be informed, so by all means, find out. But be warned: when people suspect things, they demand the truth, pull teeth to get it, then after they get it, they almost always wish they never had known.


I went through all that except the last wish you describe.

I am glad I know the truth of my life now.

I wish it hadn't happened, her cheating. But knowing of it? Way better than still being a chump and being used, exposed to STDs, theft of time.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I hear you greg, I didn't want to know either, but if I had to do it all over again I would have confronted the W the first time around. 

Things will get worse if you ignore it like I did, Please address the issue and find the truth.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Find out the truth.
If she's messing around, there is a reason. Something is not right at home. If I had been more diligent in finding out 4 years ago, we likely would not have been in such a mess last year.
If you suspect, there is something wrong in your marriage. Find out what and fix it now before it's too late.


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## gregj123 (Dec 29, 2010)

well Ive tried to get her to come to the table & fix it but she wont yet maybe its gotta run its course.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

gregj123 said:


> well Ive tried to get her to come to the table & fix it but she wont yet maybe its gotta run its course.


Oh hell no. That's just going to have you being the passive victim to whatever she is cooking up. If you suspect an affair then you need to figure what is going on with her behind your back.

Keylogger the computer (Spector Pro), check the phone bills, motion recorders in the home (I'd try and get one in the basement seeing she cuts hair there) and track her car with a GPS maybe as well. You need basic evidence and data to work with.

Hopefully it turns up nothing, but if it does, then you have something to know you need to address.


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