# PSA for Ladies (well, or men, I suppose!)



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

After reading the things that annoy men and seeing all of the insecurity women display, allow me to share a nugget of, not only wisdom, but good manners passed from my Grandma.
*
When someone gives you a compliment, husband, stranger, coworker, family member... JUST SAY THANK YOU and smile.*

It can be hard to learn - women are often taught to be humble. Accepting a compliment doesn't mean you agree but don't dismiss someone else's opinion as a lie, temporary delusion, etc. which is what you are doing.

I hear this all of the time and I want to shake these women (and young women).

Husband tells his wife she is beautiful and she replies with "What? My belly is too flabby". When all the man was thinking is "my wife is beautiful to me right now". Honest.

I hear it in the mall "I love your hair" to which the girl replies "Really? I hate the color/texture/style/having bad hair day".

"That's a cute dress!" gets the reply of "Huh - I've had this forever".

People rarely give compliments when they don't mean it unless it's a passive-aggressive mentally ill mother-in-law or a 13 year-old mean girl. If it didn't come from either of those, just say "Thank you", smile and FEEL GOOD. Nothing else is required. Except maybe kiss your husband/boyfriend. 

I was one of those girls and my Grandma told me it was rude. I never thought so - I felt accepting a compliment made me seem stuck up, as if I agreed and was thinking "yeah, I'm all that". She made me see that isn't true. I became very aware of my responses and initially would start to protest but now I don't.

It doesn't mean you can follow up with a comment - first time you ice skate and someone say's you're doing great it's OK to say thank you and sound surprised! Just don't dismiss it.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I agree. People need to learn to accept compliments without knocking themselves down. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Flaw picking makes a person seem more unattractive than they are. In an earlier discussion on this same topic, another poster said something that stuck with me "Eternal discontent is repelling." That's so true. I know some women in my life who can't even accept a sincerely given compliment graciously. If you give a compliment, they won't take it gracefully. Instead they put themselves down or make some joke about how you need to get glasses. Part of the downplay might be self-depracating humor, but I think some of it is lack of body acceptance. 

On the flip side, it's very annoying to have an obviously attractive woman who fishes for compliments by saying to others how gross she is. When I hear things like that, I'm tempted to agree just to surprise her. :rofl:


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> After reading the things that annoy men and seeing all of the insecurity women display, allow me to share a nugget of, not only wisdom, but good manners passed from my Grandma.
> *
> When someone gives you a compliment, husband, stranger, coworker, family member... JUST SAY THANK YOU and smile.*


EnjoliWoman...it is so wonderful that you started this thread about compliments! I agree that most people typically discount a sincere compliment from others by making comments just like you mentioned above. What you say is so true! I have noticed this for years.

I have always made it a point to look for the good in other people. I was raised this way as a kid, and this is how I am raising my son. When my family is in public, we have fun trying to notice positive things about other people...something beautiful about them, their great customer service, the way they smile, the way they look...etc..etc. We talk about it and make it fun.

We spot these positive things about people in public and then try to let them know that we notice them. We even have a written family goal of giving out at least one SINCERE compliment to a stranger every day! (I know some of you will think we are crazy for doing this)

You would be surprised at how many people we have touched by doing this simple thing....we see people's face light up and a huge smile comes over them. I know for a fact that receiving compliments can brighten someone's day. Not a day goes by that I don't write down a compliment on a napkin or on a receipt when I pay with my credit card. I especially love to verbally give out sincere compliments whenever possible! I think this is such a powerful way to touch others!!!

My wife says that affirming and inspiring others is my #1 God given talent! All I know is that it is fun, makes other people feel great, and is a good trait to teach to our kids. 

Thanks for your perspective on compliments


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

You're welcome!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My GF has worked hard on me to get me to take a compliment. I would always joke it off, deflect with humour. Like she's say how handsome I was, and I would tell her she shouldn't drink during the day. I realized that I was insulting her opinion when I didn't accept her compliment with a simple "thank you". 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

You're spot on, I am EXTREMELY guilty of not being able to accept a compliment. About my looks, about my work, about my life, ANYTHING! It drives my husband up the wall.

I cannot stop feeling like accepting it is like agreeing (as you say) but I didn't want to drive my husband crazy so I just say "thank you" as much as possible, and try to work on the thoughts going on inside (much harder to do)

Great post!


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

This is one thing that I'm so thankful that my father taught me to do when I was around 7 years old. He said that when someone pays you a compliment to not get embarrassed, to not pretend you didn't hear it, to not dismiss it, to not do anything other than to look the person straight in the eye and tell them "thank you". 

Anything else shows a lack of respect for yourself and towards the person paying you the compliment!


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> After reading the things that annoy men and seeing all of the insecurity women display, allow me to share a nugget of, not only wisdom, but good manners passed from my Grandma.
> *
> When someone gives you a compliment, husband, stranger, coworker, family member... JUST SAY THANK YOU and smile.*


This is a brilliant piece of advice! 

It took me a while to learn this, but it has made an important positive difference in my life. And it's easier on everyone - you feel good for receiving a compliment and they feel good for giving you one.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have learned to take compliments over the years also....when I was younger, just didn't have much $$...I worked for a Financial Planner who took me under his wing, he had to curb me of the habit of every time someone complimented my outfit, I would tell them how I got it for less than $3 or something.....in my head, I was a darn thrifty shopper and really ....I was proud of that....

But he wanted to instill in me that it was not necessary to add the extra "steal deal" - just allow them to think I bought it at the Mall brand new. He told me I was "demeaning" myself. Live & learn, I still do this - around good friends though.

On the other side of compliments ...is when you offer to help someone, give a gift ....and they Refuse, they can not accept what you offer but give it back to you....when you wanted to do a good thing.. Sometimes we just need to allow another to Bless us too. Don't bulk at it, if it makes them feel good, allow them to "give"..and accept with a sincere


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