# Confused



## Hope77017 (Dec 15, 2017)

Well here is my story, maybe you all can help.
My husband tell me two weeks ago that he wants a divorce, but wants us to be civil. This is completely out of the blue to me, didn't see it coming at all. He saying he has never trusted me, asked me about events from 15-20 years ago, One was about some pictures we developed, we had found some old rolls of film, I picked them up and saw it was some old photos of me, my best friend and her brother and their friend, in stupidly threw them away so it wouldn't cause an argument. Well it did back than and now its still bother him, Second event was him accusing me of having my neighbors husband in my house while he was at work, The neighbor returned some cds to him that he say I let him in to get while his wife and kids where visiting me. Also with the same neighbor who continuously cheated on his wife , told my husband he showed a girl some new moves, and that night I happen to do those moves with my husband. So he is determine I was the girl he showed. I WAS not the girl. I have only been with my husband for the last 27 years, anything we have done, was a first for me. I have never cheated on my husband, but when I asked him about cheating two weeks ago, because he has been going out recently, he said he was not but that made him decide that he wanted out. He tells me when he looks at me sometimes he gets so angry, but ten minutes later he wants to talk normal like nothing happen. He also wants to have sex still, but than the next day he back to talking about him getting a new place. What do I do I'm totally confused.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

how about for Christmas you both take polygraphs as presents to each other to prove you have both been faithful. then get some serious couseling.


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## Volunteer86 (Aug 2, 2017)

It sounds to me that he is using that as an exit excuse. Do you have any other reasons he would be cheating besides going out etc?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

That must have been such a terrible shock, its sad that he doesn't trust you after 27 years when you have always been faithful. He sounds very jealous for no reason. I think that maybe he is using this as an excuse to leave because maybe he is having his own affair. Cheaters always try and blame their spouse for their affair and their marriage ending. 
Please don't have sex if he wants to leave the marriage, especially as you may be in danger of getting an STD.

Has he been acting differently generally? Dressing differently? More heath/weight conscious? Showering more? Secretive with his phone?

BTW you do NOT have to be civil, he is destroying your marriage. Get angry if you want to. Shout if you want to. Let the emotions out. 

May be worth hiring a private investigator or following him one evening. or checking his phone.


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## Hope77017 (Dec 15, 2017)

He started going drinking, every Friday like six months, now going to concerts with coworkers during the week, when I finally asked him about it, he had said he was going with a friend to buy golf clubs, and spend 6 hours at the mall, he hates the mall but he tells me the friend wanted to buy his wife something so he went with him. In my heart I want to say he’s not cheating on me but I’m I just be gullible.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Lostinthought61 said:


> how about for Christmas you both take polygraphs as presents to each other to prove you have both been faithful. then get some serious couseling.


This.

My cynical side says that both of you sound suspicious.

However, I think he (at a minimum) has his eyes on another.


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## Hope77017 (Dec 15, 2017)

He has been losing a lot of weight, but I thought it was cause of stress at work


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

He’s cheating. Check your phone bill. Get a voice a tivatd recorder at bestbuy or Office Depot and hide it n his car.
Go see a lawyer. His accusing you is just to throw you off the sent.


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## Hope77017 (Dec 15, 2017)

I have never cheating on him, he was my first everything, I was not his first love, maybe not even his second. But he will always be in my heart


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