# Can I Just Leave?



## Whattawaste (Jun 23, 2017)

Hi guys, I've been lurking for months and appreciate all of you sharing your knowledge and experience. 

Been married 10 years, together almost twice that. I already know my marriage is over. I don't really care about the marital property all that much. I was thinking about quitting my job, cashing out my retirement and temporarily moving back with my parents. 

He will sell the house and he can have all the profits since I'm taking my retirement money. I do want half of the sale of the few other assets we have. 

I guess what I'm getting at is, can I just leave and let him figure it out without getting myself into legal trouble or forfeiting my share? I have tried to be proactive in getting things sorted out but he does nothing then claims he has to do everything. I'm sick of it. 

We have no kids, only pets which I plan to take 1/2 of them. 

Thanks for any advice you can provide!


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The only way to get good advice on this is to consult with a lawyer.


----------



## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

If it's a mutual divorce and assets are small (under $100k), go find a good divorce mediator. Avoid attorneys and court. You'll save thousands of dollars and will feel much better about it.

You can do whatever you want, especially if you don't want the house. Just leave.


----------



## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

There's a big tax liability/early retirement penalty with cashing out your retirement, not to mention bankrupting your future retirement. You should probably speak with a financial advisor before going the direction you are proposing. There's nothing wrong with being fed up and wanting to leave, but if you are going to be on your own you should ensure your financial stability in the process.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Why would you have to quit your job to move back with your parents? 

I'm pretty sure you're free to leave whenever you want, but would suggest you contact an attorney before you do anything, including cashing in the retirement.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think its worth learning what the law says. That doesn't mean that you are trying to squeeze him for everything, just making sure that everything is handled correctly.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes you can up and leave. You can quit your job. You can cash our your retirement. You can do whatever you want.

Is any of that wise? It depends on your situation.

Depending on the size of your retirement, it might be wiser to out small amounts at a time as you need them. Why? Penalties are high. You will pay taxes at whatever the tax rate is for taking it all out at once, as though you earned all of that in one month. Then you will pay a 10% withdrawal penalty on all of it.

If you don't want any of the home equity and it's about the same amount as your retirement, that's a good trade in the divorce.

As for the other assets, you will need to force their sale.

You would probably benefit from seeing a lawyer and letting them tell you if there is any issue with you just up and leaving that would put you at risk. You can often just pay a lawyer for 1/2 to 1 hour consultation. Or some lawyers will give you a half hour consultation for free.

When you move back with your parents, are you moving out of state? If so, you might want to file for divorce locally first because if you move to another state you will need to wait at least 6 months to be able to file in the new state.

And depending on what the other assets are that you want cash out of, your husband could sell them and spend the money in those 6 months.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The question isn't whether you CAN, it's whether you SHOULD.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

You need to talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Your husband may be legally entitled to part of your retirement. If you cash it out you'll have to pay income tax and a penalty...If your husband is entitled to a percentage you will likely owe him the full amount not the reduced value that you took to cash out.


----------



## Whattawaste (Jun 23, 2017)

Thanks for the info everyone. I will talk to an attorney


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Whattawaste said:


> Thanks for the info everyone. I will talk to an attorney


*My advice exactly! Please let us all know how your exploratory meeting with the lawyer goes!

Do your parents live in the same locale where you now reside?*


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This ain't the Middle East.

You can pack a bag and head out the front door whenever it Suits you.

Get a good ladies Zoot Suit and Scoot.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You do realize if the retirement was earned during your marriage it's half his? You don't get to arbitrarily make those division of assets decisions. You can get marriage dissolution paper work from your local courthouse and fill everything out, for a few hundred dollars you can end your marriage and divide up the assets. As long as both parties agree to the terms of the dissolution the judge signs off and everything is legal.


----------

