# why is my husband getting defensive when we have a conversation with him or ask him ?



## pinkbubble (Aug 4, 2011)

Over the last week my husband has become very defensive whenever myself and my 2 daughters talk to him. he says we never let him finish talking, and we never listen to what he says. the weather has been very hot. he works outside all day. he is 59 years old and due to retire in about 10 months. it is like his personality has changed. about 1/2 the time we are not even talking about the same thing he is, or even challenging what he is saying. my girls r 18 and 26 and have been very challenging, they hav exhausted me completely and i have been a single parent most of my life, now i handed the parenting over to him. he said he could handle it. i think it is wearing on him, but u cant ask him, cuz then he will say so u think i cant do that either. it is a lose-lose situation right now. i have chronic pain/depression for over a year now, so im not a piece of cake either, but mostly he just ignores me, his escape is golfing. he golfs 24/7. from sun up to sun down..... i have a home business that i can somewhat do with my chronic pain, so do when i can, i do stuff with my girls and my grandkids, sometimes i get very tired of him being gone from sun up to sun down every week-end from april thru october. ik it is his escape. the more he golfs, the worse the situation gets......we have had family counseling over the years many times, he knows the drill.....ignore it and it will go away, that is how he grew up, but in my world it doesnt work that way!!!! what can we all do. oh, we have been married 31 years!!!!! woot, woot, and have had our ups and downs just like the next couple~~~~


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## BleepingFamily (Jul 30, 2011)

Your husband is going through 2 kind of crisis:
1 - Retirement
2 - Empty nest syndrome.

For a man when he retires it is a big change! We kind alike lose our roots or a purpose in life without working. It is tough, I feel for him. He might be stressed out because he will have to find something significant to do. Watch a movie called "About Schmidt" with Jack Nicholson. Its about retirement and grown up kids and life changes. Golf will probably not cut it.
And sorry to say that, but you say you have depression and once again I feel for him. Not your fault, but living with a depressed person is very tough! Thats why I think he is freaking out!

I would freak out too if I had to stay home with my wife 24/7...and she is not even depressed!!! lol

Good Luck!

Mike


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