# Girl just called laughing uncontrollably looking for my husband?



## Guest32 (Sep 8, 2008)

Yes, a girl called the other night looking for him. I gave him the phone, then asked him who she was. He didn't give her name, but said she was the girlfriend of one of his friends that is my husband's band's biggest fan.

The thing is, he also said that she called to update their myspace account.. which doesn't make any sense because my husband creates websites on the side, so WHY would he have some "groupy" create one for the band?

Then she called tonight, everyone knows my husband works nights, laughing uncontrollably asking for my brother-in-law's phone number. After I give it to her, because I can't lie and say that I didn't have it... she continued on how it was "too funny that my husband had to explain to me who she was"... while they were out at the bar on Sat. night. I was very kind, as I always am, and just said I had to go. 

If I had thought of it, I would have confronted her about calling my husband, etc.. but I didn't because I was just thinking how low down that was of my husband to do that.

What do I do? Am I just being jealous?


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Guest32 said:


> she continued on how it was "too funny that my husband had to explain to me who she was"... while they were out at the bar on Sat. night.


Some where in all the emotions you are feeling jealousy is probably one of them, but i think you are also feeling deceived, which is a much stronger emotion. For some reason this girl is playing with you. Because of the way she said this, i think there is more going on. i think you should find out why she said that and what else is going on.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Do you have any reason to believe that your husband is cheating on you.

draconis


----------



## Guest32 (Sep 8, 2008)

I asked him who she was. He just told me I was being jealous, etc. The reason I don't trust him is because he has lied to me about doing drugs, and when I tell him I don't trust him, he tells me how it's all me and my jealousy. Everything gets bounced back to me.

Last night he told me that he is thinking of leaving me due to how I treat my step-son, his son from a previous marriage. The thing is, he has two sons from a previous marriage, and apparently to "HIM" I treat only one awful. He said he will divorce me because he should submit "his" child to the harsh treatment I give him. Our 11 yr old is very manipulative, will tell me one thing, and tell his father that he never said it.. turn the water works on.. and make it look like I am the one being mean.

Yes I am feeling jealous now that a girl is calling him, and he said yesterday how he is thinking of leaving me because of, well ME!

I have done nothing but be fair to ALL my boys! I don't know what else to do at this point. If I question him about this, he will yet again tell me how it is my fault, and how my jealousy is going to end our marriage. We have 2 children together and he has 2 sons from a previous marriage.

I love him... what do I do?


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I just read your other post. I can't put my finger on it but it sounds like there is more to this.

draconis


----------



## Guest32 (Sep 8, 2008)

See... that is what I am thinking. What do I do? Do I trust him when he says that he is not cheating?


----------



## Guest32 (Sep 8, 2008)

He will be home in 15 minutes from work... what do I say? Or do I say anything? When I am upset it is written all over my face. I cannot lie and I cannot hide my feelings... what do I do?


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I can only think of how i have handled situations like these in the past and it wasnt very good. I kind of blew up because he wouldnt acknowldege anything i was feeling. but if you _have_ to say something...try to say it in as constructive a way as possible. 

Personally ive learned to state how i am feeling, state what i expect (very specific) and then put up boundaries to protect myself. that is my pattern now. 

i also let him know i have something very important to talk to him about and ask him if he is able to listen and respond. and i let him know how long the conversation will be. usually i keep it to thirty minutes. If he says he cant listen and respond then i drop it and bring it up another time.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

ljtseng said:


> I can only think of how i have handled situations like these in the past and it wasnt very good. I kind of blew up because he wouldnt acknowldege anything i was feeling. but if you _have_ to say something...try to say it in as constructive a way as possible.
> 
> Personally ive learned to state how i am feeling, state what i expect (very specific) and then put up boundaries to protect myself. that is my pattern now.
> 
> i also let him know i have something very important to talk to him about and ask him if he is able to listen and respond. and i let him know how long the conversation will be. usually i keep it to thirty minutes. If he says he cant listen and respond then i drop it and bring it up another time.


:iagree:

draconis


----------



## Guest32 (Sep 8, 2008)

Thank you for all your help last night. I spoke very "laid back" about it. And something I realized when I was waiting for him to get home... I know the girl, well know of her. I know she is just a major loser... 

I have come to the conclusion with this one, I would see how he reacted and go from there. He seemed very put off by her calling, let alone laughing at me, as well as the fact that he said the girl got our phone number from my brother-in-law, so why would she call here for it? I don't know if he was trying to get a negitive response from me or not, but I was very laid back about letting him know that she called and we had a long conversation.

I told him how she was telling me what they talked about, including how she couldn't stop laughing at me for questioning why a girl was calling my house asking for my husband. I told him, that I wanted to tell HER, wouldn't you do the same, but I was thinking she was not all with it in the head anyway if she was going to call for no good reason and brag how she was with my husband the other night.

I don't know if I have anything to worry about, I know we have a ton of problems outside this conversation, but I am at ease knowing "HE" understands I really don't care with the reaction that I gave last night, if this was some sort of attempt to get me upset.


----------

