# Slapping Another Guy's Butt



## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

I am in disbelief. 

Yesterday, at my bf's pool/bbq party, I saw my bf put his hand on another guy's butt and squeeze it as he was walking past him. I'll call the younger single guy whose butt my boyfriend grabbed, M. 

This was in full view of everyone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who saw it. M just moved a little to the side and didn't make a big deal. Later on, M acted normal and I didn't notice anything different in the way M was acting toward my bf. M is new to our close group of friends, and is a younger unmarried man. M is NOT gay and he dates women. 

We were all drinking. Now, I'm doubting whether I actually witnessed it or not because it's so unbelievable to me. 

If my bf actually did do what I thought I saw, is that completely abnormal for a straight guy?

I've been dating my bf for over 3 years, and never have I ever suspected that he was anything but straight. We have a good sex life. The only thing I thought was odd is that he likes butt play sometimes when we have sex.

Is this normal? 

What should I do about this?


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

He didn't know the other man?


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

delirium said:


> He didn't know the other man?



M is the close friend of my bf's close married male friend. M only recently started hanging out more with me and my bf. 

My bf has three sets of close male friends who are all married and definitely not gay.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


My bf is middle aged and M is in his late twenties/early thirties.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Your post title says "slapping" but your post actually says squeezed. Would you say this was kind of a football player slap? Or did it linger? How much had he had to drink?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Straight guys do not grab other guys' asses. Straight guys do not LET other guys grab their asses and just ignore it. Th fact that your guy like a little butt play while the two of you are having sex isn't a big deal by itself, but might be moreso in combination of the other scenario. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


This. If something was going on and was secretly bi, there's like next to 0% chance he'd do anything where all his closest friends would see him.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Your post title says "slapping" but your post actually says squeezed. Would you say this was kind of a football player slap? Or did it linger? How much had he had to drink?


You're correct, I said slap because I am still in disbelief that I think I saw my bf squeeze M's butt. 

It was a quick squeeze. 

He was drinking scotch all day, and everyone else was drinking as well.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

dubsey said:


> This. If something was going on and was secretly bi, there's like next to 0% chance he'd do anything where all his closest friends would see him.


I don't know why M didn't react negatively to the squeeze.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

loveadvice said:


> You're correct, I said slap because I am still in disbelief that I think I saw my bf squeeze M's butt.
> 
> It was a quick squeeze.
> 
> He was drinking scotch all day, and everyone else was drinking as well.


 Slap, maybe it was a sports type thing if they had earlier played a sport together. There is no explanation for why a straight guy would squeeze another guys butt. The drinking only got him to drop his guard and do something in public that he would normally not let you see. My gaydar would definitely be way up.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

loveadvice said:


> I don't know why M didn't react negatively to the squeeze.


 Ask yourself this question. Had it been a young woman and not a young man, and had she reacted the same way when your bf squeezed her butt as he walked past her, wouldn't you suspect that that was not the first time that he had touched her and that there was something going on between them?


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

dubsey said:


> This. If something was going on and was secretly bi, there's like next to 0% chance he'd do anything where all his closest friends would see him.


Thanks. I just called my bf and told him what I saw and my bf did say it was for shock value. My bf said that he wouldn't do that to some of his close guy friends because their personalities wouldn't lend to that kind of behavior, but my bf said that he did do it to M because M has that kind of joking/horsing around type of personality.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

loveadvice said:


> I don't know why M didn't react negatively to the squeeze.


because after being startled, M may have noticed who it was, just called him a **** under his breath, and went on about things.

I had a friend who would do it to strangers at the bar then say "oh, sorry thought you were someone else" or just point at a female standing nearby. if they looked upset, he'd stand up. He was 6-3 and about 280. He just liked to piss people off.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


x2

Just playing around


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

The straight in me says "WTF?!!" 

The gay in me got excited and has many questions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

loveadvice said:


> I am in disbelief.
> 
> Yesterday, at my bf's pool/bbq party, I saw my bf put his hand on another guy's butt and squeeze it as he was walking past him. I'll call the younger single guy whose butt my boyfriend grabbed, M.
> 
> This was in full view of everyone. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who saw it.


It's a bit weird but on the other hand, it's so over the top that it was indeed probably for fun/shock value. Sounds like your BF is very confident because he's not afraid of what people would think of his sexuality. Think about it: if he had some homosexual tendencies of which he was ashamed, he wouldn't come out in public and squeeze a guy's butt!

And you know how they do in locker rooms -- slapping butts, etc. At least that's what I see in the movies!


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Drunk guys do stupid drunk guy stuff. If I were you I would tease the crap out of your boyfriend, next time you two get intimate tell him if he wants he can call you M. And if he gets excited about that THEN you need to worry!


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

My middle-age Husband would never do that.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

It's totally to get a rise out of people. Nothing to it.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


Agreed with samy here. I've never personally done it cause I'd rather do it to a female but I;ve been the subject of such pranks and have witnessed it HUNDREDS of times. I wouldnt worry about it. Dudes do this to be funny.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

One day you are worried about your bf and M's ex-girlfriend. Now, you're worried about your bf and M. And, you talked to your bf each time. Get your insecurities under control or your bf might dump you.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Some how when I saw the title of this thread I thought it was about something else entirely. 
While I don't disagree with What blondilocks said. This is the time of the relationship to keep your eyes open and ask questions. 
MN


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

OP,

I don't you need to worry too much about this. It is something men do when they are drunk or just goofing around for shock value.

I've had it done to me already, and did it to others in similar situations, and wasn't annoyed.
I've also had gay men hit on me , an they annoyed me.

Don;t htink you have much to worry about there.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> One day you are worried about your bf and M's ex-girlfriend. Now, you're worried about your bf and M. And, you talked to your bf each time. Get your insecurities under control or your bf might dump you.


I know what you are saying. 

I feel better having said what I said, however, than I would have been had I not. If one can't be honest and open to one's SO, then who can one be honest to? 

The issue regarding my bf and F may have been driven purely by my insecurity, but this issue is driven by my lack of understanding about what is normal straight guy behavior. It appears that some of the posters had the same initial reaction that I did.

I've never seen a guy grab another guy's butt. I've seen men slap each other's butt after a game, but never grab and squeeze while not in the sport context.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

PBear said:


> Straight guys do not grab other guys' asses. Straight guys do not LET other guys grab their asses and just ignore it. Th fact that your guy like a little butt play while the two of you are having sex isn't a big deal by itself, but might be moreso in combination of the other scenario.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. Guess I'll tell the wife I'm gay.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Locker room shenanigans that sometimes get taken out of the locker room. (also one of several reasons I have been on very few sports teams).

And I suppose if you are gay or straight, butts are definitely appealing.

I saw a guy goose a girl (who was talking to her big burly date) with his right hand while walking down the street holding his own GF's hand with his left... I think he was just doing it to see if he could get away with it. And he did.


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## cursed_5age (Jun 1, 2014)

I would not be concerned about it at all. We men take some stupid jokes to levels that should never see the light of day, and yet we do them and think it's funny. If it was something that bothered you personally, make sure you let him know that as well so conflict cannot be created later on when dealing with friends/parties/stupidity lol. Goodluck.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I worked with a guy who did that to other guys. He was straight. He was just doing it for the reaction. His other 'antic' was to come up behind you and squeeze both pecs!

Believe me, he got plenty of surprised reactions. He was a generally well liked guy and always went out of his way to help team mates. His sense of humor was definitely extreme.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

loveadvice said:


> You're correct, I said slap because I am still in disbelief that I think I saw my bf squeeze M's butt.
> 
> It was a quick squeeze.
> 
> He was drinking scotch all day, and everyone else was drinking as well.


Lowered guard because of the drinking. Gay. You are being fooled. Like about millions of women.

I saw in Seinfeld that this is mentioned: you can 'turn' a guy to the other side...

Things like this mean people in the US believe the strangest things about being gay or not. About 50% of everybody you see on your shows is gay. It's the pink elephant in the studio.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> Lowered guard because of the drinking. Gay. You are being fooled. Like about millions of women.
> 
> I saw in Seinfeld that this is mentioned: you can 'turn' a guy to the other side...
> 
> Things like this mean people in the US believe the strangest things about being gay or not. About 50% of everybody you see on your shows is gay. It's the pink elephant in the studio.


I'm confused about what u meant to say in your post.


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## TheManinBlack (Feb 21, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I've never done anything like that, but I have seen guys do that just playing around, just for the shock value. Personally, I wouldn't read anything into it at all. How old are the people involved in this


100%. I've personally done it for the shock value.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

loveadvice said:


> I'm confused about what u meant to say in your post.



Quote:
Originally Posted by *See_Listen_Love*  
_Lowered guard because of the drinking. 

It happened because of by drinking all day a persons sees and thinks not clearly anymore. His observation is faulted. His judgement is erroneous. So the behavior is somewhat risky and that gives them fun. The gay act would normally not be in view of others, now it was, it was exciting because of being intoxicated and acting stupig.

Gay. You are being fooled. Like about millions of women.

He is gay or at least bisexual in my opinion, he has had sex with that young guy. Straight men really never ever touch a guy's butt like that. Never.

I saw in Seinfeld that this is mentioned: you can 'turn' a guy to the other side...

Unlike in Europe the USA has the opinion that you can turn queer people straight again, that it is repairable.

Things like this mean people in the US believe the strangest things about being gay or not. About 50% of everybody you see on your shows is gay. It's the pink elephant in the studio.

Because of the taboo on being gay in the US very many people are in the closet. And most citizens have no clue how gay people look like, behave etc. So most do not recognize gay's. And lots of gay people, marry, have kids, try to be 'normal'. 

In the amusement industry the amount of gay men is enormous. Here in Europe that is no problem at all. Really. But in the US it is, en thus they keep secret, and people seem not to notice the most obvious hints about it.
_


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Man some of you people are paranoid!

Different cultures have different tolerance/paranoia level towards these gestures. I grab my buddy's butt and squeeze it hard to the point of making him scream like a girl sometimes. I'm not gay (or am I now?!!)

The western culture is waaay too paranoid about physical interactions between men. Men in this continent don't kiss each other on the cheeks because "it's gay", but in many parts of the world that's a normal greeting gesture. Men here are afraid or reluctant to dance around each other because "it's gay" while it's totally not!

Men are even afraid of calling each other handsome because "it's gay"!


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

This thread caught my eye because a similar thing just happened to my spouse.

He took our son to see the new X-men movie the other night. While going up the stairs, in the dark, another man slapped his butt! He was shocked but then recognized the other guy as an acquaintance from work and they stopped and talked for a bit. The other guy was just trying to get his attention - not even sure if the ass-slap was intentional or just happened to land there lol.

Anyway, after the movie was over, my spouse still felt the need to go up to the guy and give him a harder-than-usual, manly pat on the shoulder to say goodbye in retaliation for the slap... I couldn't help but laugh about how he just couldn't of let that one go.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

synthetic said:


> Man some of you people are paranoid!
> 
> Different cultures have different tolerance/paranoia level towards these gestures. I grab my buddy's butt and squeeze it hard to the point of making him scream like a girl sometimes. I'm not gay (or am I now?!!)
> 
> ...



I do not connotate gay with bad in any way, but gay people may behave in a playful 'gayish' way for fun.

They do it because they like it, and straight men do not like it. Has nothing to do with physical effects. 

A lot of men may want to experiment with a somewhat gay behavior, as a symbol of liberated thinking and tolerance. But the case described does not look like that to me.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Slapping Another Guy's Butt*



See_Listen_Love said:


> I do not connotate gay with bad in any way, but gay people may behave in a playful 'gayish' way for fun.
> 
> They do it because they like it, and straight men do not like it. Has nothing to do with physical effects.
> 
> A lot of men may want to experiment with a somewhat gay behavior, as a symbol of liberated thinking and tolerance. But the case described does not look like that to me.


Straight sounds boring, like it only applies to the 5% of people clustered around the absolute average definition of what "normal" is supposed to be. Under that description, 95% of guys aren't even straight then, even though the vast majority of them are heterosexual. 

Just because you are hetero and familiar with your own personal likes, dislikes and preferences doesn't mean you get to define what is normal for all the other heterosexual men. 

Either way, the case described appears completely within my idea of normal behaviors of men (and by normal I mean somewhat common).


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## waylan (Apr 23, 2014)

Relax. Your boyfriend has sense of humor and is self-confidant in his own sexuality. When I was a younger lad playing ball we had a game called "cup check". You would basically yell cup check and then either hit your buddy in the balls or squeeze them very hard. None of us were gay.... (*disclaimer - I don't think there is anything wrong with being gay - in fact the more gay guys the merrier - it leaves more women for us straight men.)


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> I do not connotate gay with bad in any way, but gay people may behave in a playful 'gayish' way for fun.
> 
> They do it because they like it, and straight men do not like it. Has nothing to do with physical effects.
> 
> A lot of men may want to experiment with a somewhat gay behavior, as a symbol of liberated thinking and tolerance. But the case described does not look like that to me.


I don't agree, but thank you for taking the time to post your opinion!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

With drinking I've seen ass slapping, ass grabbing, crotch kicks, crotch grabs, farts in face, and countless other stupid things done between friends. And none of us swung the other way, although we've always wondered about 1 friend who would do that crap when he was sober. But everyone just walked it off as if nothing happened (except for the occasional cursing)

Nobody ever went off the deep end unless they keep doing it over and over. But that was when we were younger, at our old age now, you better not grab or kick cuz something else might come back at you


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