# To my complete surprise.....



## Again71 (Mar 31, 2011)

he said he hasn't been happy in 3 years. I am stunned! He got into a argument with my adult daughter for her treatment towards him and said I did nothing to stop her. So to make a LONG story short, after 10 years together, he told me to move, he hasn't been happy in 3 years and he wants time to himself. He was very mean and wouldn't stop to even let me figure out what was going on since I just walked in the door from school. He told me not to text, call and to leave him alone.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

We didn't fight, we got along great, we enjoy doing the same things and sex was good and now you haven't been happy in 3 years. Why didn't he tell me this? I am going along like everything was ok. He is 15 years older than me.

I am devastated- can't eat, sleep, work or function. How do people get through this? I have talked to my physician who is treating me for severe depression. This is ridiculous! He even took back my ring.

I found an apartment and started packing. A few days before I was to move, he asked me to not pack anymore and that was a week ago. I have since gave up my apartment. 

You would think I would be happy. I can finally stop crying, however, I feel like I shouldn't unpack. I am afraid, untrusting, confused and I am cautious. I talked to him as much as he will talk about it and asked him if he can be happy with me, he said he is "trying" In the past week, he has cut me roses, cooked me dinner and has hung out with me. When I have tried to talk, he asks if we are going to talk every day about this? I don't feel like he is sincere. I feel something is "off" What is this "time" he said he wanted and how is he going to get it if I am there? 

Now I am second guessing my decision to stay after I have cancelled the apartment and utilities. I haven't gotten back my ring and honestly, I don't think I will. 

The most crushing part for me was thinking and feeling everything was fine and we were a happy couple to haven't been happy in 3 years, I want time.

Has anyone out there been in this situation and did it work? Am I letting my cautiousness get the best of me? Should I get over this? 

Thanks


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

I have been in this situation for five weeks now. Everyday I learn something that I didn't know before. It turns out that my H is cheating on me, has a personality disorder or two, and he wants a divorce. I don't know specifics but could he be talking to another woman? Follow what you instincts are telling you. If you feel something is "off" then it probably is. It is hard but it gets easier over time. I hope that you can find some answers here on site. I know that the people here have helped me in the five short weeks I have been part of their community. Good luck!


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I'm so very sorry you are going through this. 

Two points come to my mind
1) It's a pretty bad reflection on his part that he had "issues" that he did not bring up for 3 years. That needs to change. Or else.
2) You really should go to counselling to get to the bottom of his "issues"

And start looking into everything he is doing. Ask for advice on keyloggers, phone records, fb, emails, get very serious about this. This smells very much like an affair was going on. 

So get mad instead of crying. Demand some action on his part. 
What he did wasn't acceptable.


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