# I dont know what to do and really need some help



## motox623 (Feb 11, 2010)

Ok me and my wife have been together for 6.5 years and coming up on our 1 year wedding anniversary in a couple days. We started dating her freshmen year, my junior in high school. We now have a 3 month old son. She has told me that she has feelings for a co-worker and says nothing can happen and she doesn't want anything to happen because 1 we r married 2 he is going to school to be a minister. I personally think its just he is there for her when she is going through this upset time and is turning to him as a way out. She originally came to me and said she wanted a divorce because she isn't happy. I have convinced her to let me try and change that because I admit on my part I haven't been trying with this marriage very hard by not giving her the attention and love she deserves. I have never cheated or even considered cheating, I really do love her I just got used to her being around and took advantage of her company and her as a human being and really think I can change my attitude and make her happy. My main question is she really thinks this guy is a good guy and wants to still be his friend, should I allow it or should I make her chose me or him? She has also just told me that when she said she was going to the movies with a girlfriend, it was really with him and a few other ppl. She claims she has never cheated on me and that this guy is even still a virgin. I think he is 21 or so. I have set up an appt for marriage counseling for a week from now so I really hope that helps us. Please any advise would be greatly appreciated. Please try and give me a real answer and not just a "give up" or "keep trying" elaborate if you can.


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## harley2003 (Feb 8, 2010)

No way she can have feelings for another man and you two work on your marriage at the same time. If what she says is true, you may have have caught it before it is too late. But then again, if it is too late she is not telling you. I would tell her that a condition to you working on the marriage, she has to stop contact with him. You need to find out what it is she gets from him and you start giving that to her. 

I am not saying that a woman can't have male friends, but the fact that she mentioned divorce tells me that she wants to be with this other guy. If you let it go to far and it becomes a full fledged affair, you will be on the rockiest road of your life. I know because I am there. 

The other guy has to go. Hang in there.


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