# Ten questions for future cheaters



## Oregon38 (Sep 19, 2010)

1. The needs of myself (and my affair partner) outweigh the needs of my spouse, children and family

2. I'm strong enough to carry the burden of willingly cause destruction of my family, pain, long term emotional damages to my children

3. My spouse, time we've spent together and memories we share don't mean anything to me

4. I have truly done everything humanly possible to save my relationship

5. I am a good role model for others

6. I have enough self-respect and won't blame anybody else

7. I can accept the fact that there is no point of return once I go down that path

8. I can hadle living with guilt for the rest of my life

9. I am free of any faults that might have caused issues in the relationship

10. I can look my children in the eyes and say "I love you, your future and happiness doesn't mean anything to me, now it's my turn"


_If you have answered "yes" to all those questions, feel free to go ahead and have fun!_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

and if the AP is married themselves, you're okay with destroying that family as well.


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## Oregon38 (Sep 19, 2010)

Sorry Apple, valid point, I totally forgot to add that

Let's see... who can I blame for that? LOL

Maybe my Cheatosaurus Rex ex wife


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

The domino effect with an affair is something incredible. Here the cheater's think that it won't be that big of a deal; their spouse may be a little mad but they'll deal with things. The cheaters minimize all consequences so they can maximize their fantasy. They never think about how it effects so much more. It's a complete chain reaction from the mental breakdown of the BS to the broken hearts of the children to losing personal friends, in laws you may have been close to, nieces and nephews from the other side of the family, and if the AP is also married, a second family is destroyed.
Today, I spent my afternoon crying. I'm not sure exactly what was triggering me today, but I went through a box of kleenex this afternoon. I just sobbed and sobbed. I couldn't help it, the tears just wouldn't stop. I'm still a mess, I'm still haunted, and I find that I tend to completely over think everything to the point where I find myself more worried than I was before. Unfortunately, we cannot stop the cheaters from cheating nor can we stop the skuzzies from going after married folk, and we cannot stop the disaster that is sure to come but we can find ourselves again, we can be whole again, we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and walk away the better person. Oh, and in regards to #8 about the no guilt thing--some of the slimeweasels have no guilt over what they did. My ex Asshat being one. He has zero guilt. He walks around like his sh*t don't stink. He's still very smug with me about things, he still talks down to me like I'm some sort of retarded seal who can't understand basic English. He acts like he's simply too good for anyone, for some reason he thinks he's a prize to be won. (yeah, right.)


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

What really sucks is if a current cheaters would have asked them selves only one of these questions, it my have prevented them from going down that road!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

the guy said:


> What really sucks is if a current cheaters would have asked them selves only one of these questions, it my have prevented them from going down that road!


I disagree. They would have only convinced themselves that they were "in love" and nothing else would have mattered.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ya, I know, wishful thinking on my part.


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## Oregon38 (Sep 19, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> Oh, and in regards to #8 about the no guilt thing--some of the slimeweasels have no guilt over what they did. My ex Asshat being one. He has zero guilt. He walks around like his sh*t don't stink. He's still very smug with me about things, he still talks down to me like I'm some sort of retarded seal who can't understand basic English. He acts like he's simply too good for anyone, for some reason he thinks he's a prize to be won. (yeah, right.)


OMG, that sounds so much like my ex. Sometimes I actually wonder how she's still able to walk up straight with all that sh*t she has in her head. With all that weight she should actually constantly fall forward.

There is nothing wrong with crying, feeling down or being a mess. It will pass, I'm there too and more than I wish. All what it means that we are still humans with feelings - a status our cheating ex's have lost or maybe never had.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I'd like to add:

- I want my kids to marry someone just like me, that will act the same as I am.


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## Oregon38 (Sep 19, 2010)

I truly hope and pray that this will not happen to my daughter, even though it might be possible because my ex is already the second generation doing exactly the same as her mom.

Another life destroyed and that is sad.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

16 years post discovery of my first XW's serial affairs and she still wants to play the "my emotional needs were not met" justification card.
Sadly, if I pointed out how my emotional,phsyical, and spiritual needs were unmet, she would be incrdulous. She has zero insight into her own deficiencies.

These folks are so blind to their behaviors.


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## Oregon38 (Sep 19, 2010)

It's amazing, isn't it? 

They are so blind because their view is blocked from all the sh*t that's in their head.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

michzz said:


> Even in a mc office when pressed, she insisted *"I never thought of you"* , supposedly the only man shed been with for 16 years at that point, when she went over to the jerk's apt.
> 
> I know for darn sure if I was tapping strange for the first time that I'd have some kind of thought process that reminded me it was not her and it was someone else.
> 
> ...


Gee I also heard the "I never thought of you".. 
And in the next sentence,, " I've never loved anyone like you" :scratchhead: WTH???


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

AppleDucklings;492725 He acts like he's simply too good for anyone said:


> A prize sh!t not worth winning,
> 
> Sorry about your ongoing hell. It is something we go through and when the agony is not witnessed by the cheater that isn't around or shows no remorse compounds the terrible pain.
> 
> ...


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## oilfieldguy (Jul 3, 2011)

the guy said:


> What really sucks is if a current cheaters would have asked them selves only one of these questions, it my have prevented them from going down that road!


No it would not have stopped me back when I was cheating. I thought about what is this doing to my family all the time. But my want for something different took over. My cheating demons blew right through those thoughts. It was all about getting the next woman and to hell with what happens if I get caught.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Lazarus said:


> A prize sh!t not worth winning,
> 
> Sorry about your ongoing hell. It is something we go through and when the agony is not witnessed by the cheater that isn't around or shows no remorse compounds the terrible pain.
> 
> ...


He is a sociopath, or he has NPD, or something along those lines. He has never been clinically diagnosed as one, but he is self-admitted. I said to him before our divorce was final that "I hope someday you feel the exact same pain you have put me through" He looked at me cold. He did not blink, he showed no emotion, he gave a shrug of his shoulders and he said; "But that will never happen because I don't feel anything for other people." 
Yeah...he even admits he feels nothing for other people. Which is very hard because I spent 15 years trying to please a man who I never mattered to.


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