# How far does optimism go? help please



## Ismile (Oct 22, 2009)

Dear friends, 
I am 23, far too young to be dealing with this crisis in my opinion. After only four months of a deeply troubled marriage I finally fled my husband. He was emotionally, verbally, and increasingly physically abusive. Since week one of our marriage he tried to control and change me. He made me feel as if I was never good enough, like I was a flawed woman. He fits the typical abuser stereotypes with quotes like, "if you were only better, I wouldn't have to yell (insert action here)." 

Anyway. That isn't really the point. Picture a husband who made his wife's life miserable despite her best efforts to form some sort of happy marriage from the shattered pieces of their expectations. 

After Christmas I left. 

Now, he finally repents. After I left he saw a counselor (even though I had been begging him to for months) and he finally came to realize how abusive he was being. He now takes full responsibility for how horrible he was with full and contrite promises never to act that way again.

We have been going to a counselor now and I watch as this man who used to beat me down with words can no longer come up with anything but tears. I watch my husband sob with a sincerely sorry heart but I feel little love towards him.
WHAT DO I DO?

Is it possible to recover in such a terrible situation. Here we are, both young, and we literally spent our first four months of marriage in misery. Should we call it quits or try to push onward? My morals tell me that divorce is not good and should only be resorted to in desperate situations. I feel like I am just giving up, like I am running away. Is unhappy a justified reason for divorce? Should I try even though I have very little love for this man? I feel like I have been raped of my innocents, my optimistic outlook on love, and all hope in a life with this man. 

help... please.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

good for you for leaving. i think you should tell him its over, and see if he continues to go to counseling. if he doesnt, then he was full of BS. if he continues to go then he's sincere. but the crying and sobbing is a good sign.


----------

