# Kids - chores



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

When the girls were growing up, they never had specific chores as a rule. They were responsible for helping around the house as needed and picking up after themselves.

They learned to cook, clean and do their own laundry this way and never seemed to resent being asked to help.

I figured we'd handle our son much the same way. 

What did you do in your house? What worked, what didn't work?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

It got complicated enough in our house, and the cause of enough fights, that we went to a rotating chore chart - dishes, floors, and laundry. The kids have settled into it and it's resolved a few issues. And trading is allowed, as long as the job gets done.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Right now, my oldest is the only one who can do the "bigger" jobs easily. And I reward him accordingly. He and I take care of the dishes most of the time. When I am hurting too much, he does them alone, or even when I go shopping and he is home with his dad, I ask him to do them and he will get a reward for it. 

Laundry, as far as washing and folding, is on him, me, and my husband. They each put their own clothes away, including my almost 5 year old. They are responsible for keeping their rooms clean.And, they pick up their messes in the other parts of the house.

Generally, I am the one who sweeps, mops, vacuums/steam cleans the carpet,, and I usually clean the toilet and tub. My son does the sink. 

My daughter (6) does as much as she can with the dishes. But, just like my sister and I were with our youngest sister, we preferred she NOT "help" so we could get them done faster. Soon, however, she will learn...same with the youngest boy. 

I know it seems a bit unfair, but I see it this way. When the younger two are ready to help, the oldest will be a pro and can help them learn... and is usually more patient than my husband and I are.  Also, keep in mind that, while the older two are gone all day, I am working on some of these chores as well. So, while it may appear unevenly distributed, I carry the brunt of it, even now.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My kids had to pitch in and help whenever needed. The older they got, the less enthusiastic they were about it of course. I also didn't believe in forcing them to do specific things - I'd give them a choice - unload the dishwasher or take out the garbage, that type of thing. They also had to clean their rooms if they wanted clean rooms, once they hit about ten years old. And do their own laundry, if they wanted clean clothes. I would just announce that I would no longer be doing whatever it was I expected them to start doing themselves, be available for any questions they had about how to do it, and then stop doing it.

My boys lived in the basement for a few years, and let me tell you, that place was usually disgusting. I hardly ever went down there. They would clean it up when they wanted friends over, and of course when they started bringing girls over  They were just lazy and didn't care what their living space was like. They still are to some degree, although now that they're out of the house, it's a lot better. But I am sure whomever they marry will wonder why I never taught them to do housework, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

My daughter is a clean freak - she currently lives at home and gives ME heck for the way I unload the dishwasher 

Chores were never tied to allowance. My kids only ever got $20 a month - this was for spending money, and when that was no longer enough I expected them to get jobs.

They did, however, have the option of doing chores for pay. I had a bigass spreadsheet of every chore in the house, broken down by how long each should take and how much it paid at $10 an hour. So if they wanted an extra $20 for something, they could clean out the fridge or something. Of course, if I'd just done the fridge last week, that particular chore wasn't an option.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

*Re: Re: Kids - chores*



TCSRedhead said:


> When the girls were growing up, they never had specific chores as a rule. They were responsible for helping around the house as needed and picking up after themselves.
> 
> They learned to cook, clean and do their own laundry this way and never seemed to resent being asked to help.
> 
> ...


We do exactly the same. Jobs assigned as needed. Occasionally, I'll have projects that relate to my business, and those I'll ask the kids of they want to do something and earn money, but household chores are assigned as needed and age appropriate.

My sister, who must have grown up in another universe and gotten switched by aliens at some point, feels that we did too much growing up, so her children do whatever, and eat whatever they please.

I'll let you imagine the differences between my kids and hers. It's pretty bad.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

We live in a small apartment so there is not a lot of housekeeping. This suits us all. My kids generally clear the table or set the table (not a long haul) take care of feeding the cat sometimes, and they will strip and make their beds when I do the bedding wash. They also help with the recycling and the groceries, both shopping (one or both of them) and with unpacking. If we go on an outing, they have to help get ready, putting things in bags, etc. and taking things out to the car. They will fold and put away their own laundry, but sometimes I do this for them. 
Mostly I expect them to get themselves ready for school, unpack from school, do their homework, take care of their bodies, play with their friends, get enough sleep and participate in their chosen extra-curricular activities. They spend a fair amount of time reading or working on their hobbies (i.e. building a fort in the woods, art, geocaching) and almost no time in front of the t.v. or computer. Next summer I think they will learn more complicated things like cooking and meal planning, and budgeting and paying bills. We also container garden and worm compost, and they help with this. This weekend we will organize our winter and summer gear, and I very much appreciate their help with this task. We will be taking skis, etc. to storage. Mostly at our home we see chores as things we do to make our life more pleasant and efficient. They're a given, not something to be dreaded or rewarded. They do keep their room clean but I don't demand that it be tidy every single day. Just when it gets to a point. And they're fine with that. No whining. 

We don't have a schedule and we don't have a list or anything like that.

My eldest son homeschooled for many years and did a lot of farm chores at that time, related to chickens and goats, gardening etc. He enjoyed that a lot. But it was never forced, he liked to be outdoors and would build obstacle courses for the goats, they loved his plank ramp cities and following him on them  When he went to country day school he was so busy with school and extracurriculars and also his job first as a dairy stock boy at a grocery and then as a dishwasher at a busy restaurant, including hockey, lacrosse, theater, etc. I never asked him to do much chores. But he lives in an eco-friendly dorm that has a kitchen and the school has an eco garden and he participates in taking care of all that plus the school's recycling. At end of term he is setting up housekeeping with his long-term gf, and I have heard he is very good at doing his part in that. I don't see any reason why my 'method' of no method is unsuccessful.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We just clean every other day and they get things to do and no one stops cleaning until the house is done. Works well.

They are responsible for their rooms though-- cleaned once a week.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Oh I remember that their rooms were pretty scary in their teens. I just started ignoring them at some point. It's kinda funny that their rooms are much neater now that they're on their own. 

I really like some of these ideas. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

They're family. If they are big enough to help, they help. If one is working, the whole family is working. There is no way I'd ever be in the house chillin' while my mom or dad were working. My parents must have started us young cause I don't even remember life without work. I probably had to clean the delivery room at the hospital when I was born.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> When the girls were growing up, they never had specific chores as a rule. They were responsible for helping around the house as needed and picking up after themselves.
> 
> They learned to cook, clean and do their own laundry this way and never seemed to resent being asked to help.
> 
> ...


My son helps me with laundry,he helps me cook too.He is responsible for keeping his room clean and making his bed.I also ask him to take the dogs out occasionally too.

There isn't much that doesn't work.He's a stubborn kid but he does as he's told.It helps that he gets a sense of satisfaction from helping his momma


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Some good ideas here...

I struggle with this. My daughter is in gymnastics 3 days a week until 7:30pm. By the time we get home and she has dinner, does homework and gets a shower it's time for bed. She's with her Dad every other weekend. This means she has very little 'down' time. I find time to be lazy, daydream, do what she wants (dance in her room, make a poster, ride her bike, hang with friends) is important - I don't want to schedule ever minute of her time with me and fill it with chores and feel like I'm always riding her to finish something.

Currently she has to put away her clean clothes (she can take a whole week to do this - must find a better way), make sure dirty clothes are gathered because I'll only wash what is actually IN the hamper. She has to clean her bathroom (usually must withhold something to make this happen when it's so awful I'm embarrassed to let anyone go in there).

More than this and she has no time to be a kid. When I hear about children who have to do laundry I wonder what I'm doing wrong that my daughter doesn't do hers but I'm waiting to see what next year brings - her first year of high school. Things might change a bit depending on her schedule but right now she wants to continue gymnastics and might have to go 12 hours a week (4 days x 3 hours) as she advances.

I just don't want every hour with me being filled with work and all her time with Dad filled with fun.


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