# what do you fight about?



## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

Infidelity aside... What do you fight about?

We fight about my in laws.... Its our only "real problem"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Back in the days when we did fight, we fought about everything: Money, parenting, food, housework, clothing, pets, bills, cars, our families, what restaurant to go to, what movie to see, how to get to the restaurant, which grocery store to go to...we haven't had a real argument in months now though.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Who has a better ass


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

We had an argument once about whether dogs should be allowed on couches or not when we first met. I don't let the animals on the furniture, his dog was used to being on the sofa. We'd brought mine over to his house, and he told me if I wouldn't let his dog on it, I could just take my sofa out again. I said ok, and asked him if he wanted to rethink his position and advised him to take time before answering. He did, and now the dogs stay off the furniture.

We've had a few tiffs when he feels grouchy and takes it out on me or his daughter (or both) and I refuse to accept it. This has happened five or six times in the last few years.

We briefly argued last night because I gave a bunch of stuff to charity that wasn't intended for charity. He thought I should know that he and his daughter only pack charity items in trash bags. (She had put her winter clothes in a bin and stacked it with my bins that were for charity. Originally mine had been in one area of the house, and she had moved them to the basement, then put her winter clothes bin about two feet away, so I thought they were charity clothes.) He agreed that we all contributed to the miscommunication about five minutes later and it was over.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

In the past?

My steroid use. 
My working 50+ hours a week, then working on Saturday. 
Her friends that I didn't like. 
The termostat (if you can believe it)
Why my entire family sucks and why we don't invite them to family gatherings
Why a small portion of her family sucks, and I told them the day we got married if I ever saw them near my wife again I would beat them (abuse, just wanted to wait until she was legally mine before I said this)

Right now?
My steroid use. 
My working 50+ hours a week, then working on Saturday. 
Less to argue about now. 

No kids though. Might be a reason.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

We argue about what can be thrown away. He has pack-rat tendencies, and I am a neat-freak. After cleaning out his parents' home of 40 years after their death, however, he is getting better. And yes, he is just like his parents!

Methods of discipline with the kids was another area of disagreement. We had to work hard on calm communication with that issue, and be careful not to let them divide and conquer.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Juicer said:


> The termostat (if you can believe it)


I bet that's a common one actually! I know we fought over that for years.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

How's she a miserable hag and it's 100% my fault.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

We probably dont fight enough. We both tend to let things slide until something happens that really upsets the apple cart. That happens maybe 1-2 times a year.

Often - Its me trying to clean up some of her stuff. She is a pack-rat, but also compulsive about nobody else touching it. "I'll get to it" she has been saying forever. On the other hand - she accuses me of wanting to live 'in a museum'.

She tends to boil over easy and recover fast. Me - Im a slow burner, but once I blow up it can take me days to get over it. The good news is we are big morning sex people though, and try as I might - I find it just about impossible to stay mad after she backs her butt up into me early in the morning, spoon style and flexes her cheeks. Its infuriating, but impossible to resist.

Yeah, the thermostat is a point of conflict too. She is like a lizzard and wants it 77 and humid - if there was a warm rock to lay on she would do it. I prefer 72 and dry. We manage.

Thank god we have few money problems. I have seen money issues tear a fair number of couples apart - or at least that seems like to root of it - seems to me.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

Passiveness, which affects everyday life issue's like "Why did you let the kids swim in the crocodiles pool?", "Why didn't you meet me today, as promised?", "Why didn't you tell me you were so sick, instead of nearly dying?"....lol, Oh... the joys of living with the passive man, keeps things interesting though, we rarely argue these days now we are older but we still have our moments.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Why couldn't you have ruined just your own life?


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> Why couldn't you have ruined just your own life?


LOL


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

We don't argue...we just have passionate discussions. They are almost exclusively about the kids or her mother.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

rj700 said:


> We don't argue...we just have passionate discussions. They are almost exclusively about the kids or her mother.


Passionate discussions about the kids or her mother? Creepy.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

We used to fight about silly things like chores, but we've been pretty good recently. I've snapped at him a few times over things, like him lunging for the steering wheel when I do something wrong while driving, and how he thinks I MUST know the way back from somewhere after driving there for the first time. And when I ask him in a blind panic which side of the road I need to turn onto to avoid oncoming traffic and he DOESN'T ANSWER lol. But no real arguments anymore I don't think.

We're on the same page about 99% of things, thankfully.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

We don't really fight much. We have things we get upset about, but I try and avoid fights like they are the plague.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

I don't want to fight. 

I feel like if something is important to me and I want to talk about it, he turns it into a fight.


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## CraigW (Jul 7, 2012)

We used to have a lot of arguments about her parents. In her parents eyes, I was never quite good enough. They used to stay at our house all the time and extend invitations to the rest of her family for dinners and BBQ's. One time her father stayed here and didn't say one word to me the entire week. I was boiling inside thinking he had some set of balls staying in our house and not even having the courtesy to say hello. I was a good father, paid my own bills and never asked anyone for anything so I just didn't know what their problem was. Weirdest thing is... now they love me. The holidays were the worst. We always had to spend equal time with both families. It left us virtually exhausted and dreading the holidays every year. We wasted a lot of time trying to please everyone else but ourselves. 

Now we tend to have little arguments about stupid stuff or when the wife gets exhausted. She doesn't ask for help and ends up doing shopping, laundry and other things to the point that she gets burned out. Truth is--She is right. That is an area I need to step up.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

In my relationship, she thinks we are fighting when I believe we are discussing. She doesn't like confrontation/debates... when we go back and forth on something, she withdraws because she feels we are fighting. Can drive me crazy some times. We both are speaking in conversational tones. I told her disagreements are healthy and that they don't necessarily equate to a fight, but she interprets it otherwise.


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

The only thing the wife and I fight about is the kids. I have 2 from my first marriage and she has 2 from hers. She is really hard on my kids and not hard at all on hers.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> In my relationship, she thinks we are fighting when I believe we are discussing. She doesn't like confrontation/debates... when we go back and forth on something, she withdraws because she feels we are fighting. Can drive me crazy some times. We both are speaking in conversational tones. I told her disagreements are healthy and that they don't necessarily equate to a fight, but she interprets it otherwise.


I can SO relate to this! In every single one of my former relationships, I was thinking we were having a discussion, and my partner thought we were arguing. Usually about the dumbest stuff, too!

Now, my step-daughter gets upset sometimes and asks us to stop arguing and we look at each other and laugh, then have to explain we're not arguing but just having fun.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Anything other than the real issue.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hmmm... We fight about the dogs (they've become trouble-makers this last year even though they're all older  ) We also tend to get into quarrels over what and how he says things (poor communication), my family, (can't argue about his because they're perfect, you know)! I also hear a lot of complaints and guilt trips regarding money, (how we don't have any), division of time spent and chores, and finally, lack of affection and respect.

My husband is a born and bred passive-aggressive rug-sweeper, so many things we disagree about I will bring up to address... And he would argue with a stop sign. :sigh:

I can handle disagreements... But they get pretty stupid... Me asking for attention and affection should not become a discussion about my insecurity... Just give me a damn hug already! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Only thing we fight about nowadays is sex, but soon, if everything goes well, we'll never fight about it again!

Then we can fight about other stuff, like her overcooking one of her alien recipes, or me leaving dirty hand marks everywhere when I've just been in the garden. Yay!


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## Carisma (Aug 24, 2012)

johnnycomelately said:


> Anything other than the real issue.


This. It seems like our biggest fights are about total non-issues. More what it is, I think, is that he is rude in some way and it hurts my feelings so I come out swinging verbally, instead of just clarifying what he meant, and then we have an argument. He does similar things, like try to talk to me about something when I am in the middle of something else (I work from home and am a student in a high pressure nursing program, RN, as well as home school 2 high schoolers so I am busy!) and if I kind of ignore him then he gets his feelings hurt. We both just need to remember the other is not our enemy. I think that when things were really rough a few years ago we learned a pattern of react first, question/try to understand after the blow up is over. That is not helpful to us.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

We argue about the fact that we don't argue enough.

She is not one to communicate her feelings, thoughts, wishes much. I often have to pull this out of her with 64 questions.

She is getting better  We are trending up in this regard 

As to other "popular" things to argue about, we do not. We have no money problems, no infidelity issues, no sex issues, no family issues, friend issues, respect issues, nothing like that.

I want to hear her more, I don't want to be expected to read minds. She knows this and it gets better as time goes.

Why is she like this? She was in a prior 25 year marriage where her opinions, feelings never mattered, so she "learned" to just shut the heck up.

Old habits are hard to break. THAT is our issue.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

We used to fight about the her in-laws. Any little minor argument wound up there. We both work in my family's business. We both have issues with my dad but you can't change other people. After I offered to quit and MEANT IT, we don't fight about it anymore. It also means little minor arguments (rare now) don't wind up there.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

We don't fight. Once she learned to obey there were no more problems.....1...2...3.....Ok calm down ladies that was a joke.

No we really don't fight. A battle with cancer taught us that life is to short for such foolishness.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

We used to fight a lot about almost everything, although it wasn't so much about the actually thing, but more so about him being rude/disrespectful in the way that he phrased what he would say. We've gotten much better lately :smthumbup:, which is good. Now, it's usually us just arguing over his 'pack-rat' tendencies where he saves almost everything and doesn't throw things out. It drives me crazy! Even empty packages don't get thrown out, like yesterday when I found an empty cheese packet in the fridge. Why did he put it back empty after he made a sandwich :scratchhead:, I will never know. It's a work in progress...


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