# Is this an affair?



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Hi guys. My stbxw had a PA (that she admitted to - this the reason we are divorcing). During our false R a few months back, I discovered this Facebook string with a different guy when she gave me her passwords. To this day she swears they were "only friends". I think it's obvious that's not the case, but want your take on it. I'm probably torturing myself here - but I do feel compelled to know...I was with a serial cheater, wasn't I? She is "WW", he is "KD".

WW: DOYLE!! How are you doing? So I wanted to get you the Van info...if your still down with helping me sell it, like I said I'll give you 20% of whatever you can get me. I love you!!

KD: I just smoked a big old J not cause your a bad influence but cause you often remind me "normal" people suck!!! I love your essence... Beautiful people!

WW: Oh KD!! You know just what to say to me. I love that you are nowhere near a "normal" person. xoxo

Everywhere...everywhere, everywhere I go!

WW: Miss me yet KD??

WW: Hello love!

KD: Hi!!! Xo

WW: still awake??

KD: Yes!

WW: missed you last night. It was a good time! Soooo much fun. Missed you there. xo

WW: you there??

KD: I am now what's up?

WW: Will I see you tonight???

KD: It's a possibility...

WW: That would be real nice!

KD: Got everything all taken care of today, thank you so much! I love you!!!!

WW: Good babe! Let me know how things are at the end of the month. I love you more....

KD: BABY! I'm so sorry but I'm extremely beat at this point and very shortly gonna hit the sack. I felt this coming on and tried the energy drink route but no results! I love you with all my heart I hope you are not angry! Message me when you get off I might be ready to go by then but no promises, I set my alarm for 12 to come meet you so I hope I wake up....

WW: I still love you! I have Dave and Stacey to drink with. Rain check???

KD: Should I come? Just woke up!

WW: If you want, no pressure!! I got people!!

KD: Looking for a definitive answer I'm sleepy, yes or no? You know me... Am I into it? Ps is renae still there?

WW: Yes she is! Stay home.....

KD: You don't want me to come?im hurt!

WW: Just trying to be easy!!

KD: I'm coming for one regardless sorry to disappoint!

WW: If you end up talking to her I might stab her in the neck!!! See you sion. I love you KD!

KD: I love you too! If only we met in highschool....

WW: Well I was in high school WAY b4 you... So that may not have worked!! Your all mine now and that's what counts! Thanx for being you!! Xo

KD: I'm so glad I decided to come out last night, there are not many people in my life that make my heart sing and you are definitely one of them! I woke up with a smile on my face today and that is a rare occasion so thank you!

WW: I'm glad you came too baby! Your a peach KD. My good dear friend.....

KD: Forever!!!!!

WW: Hope your week is starting well my love! Xo 

WW: Miss you

KD: And I you!

WW: So glad I got to see those big blues this weekend. Love you KD!

WW: I'm work tomorrow, and I'm first cut, just sayin.....xo

WW: So you really don't mind working that out for me? I feel like an ass but I don't want to deal with it! Why do you hang out with me??

WW: Also. About the other thing we were talking about! I'd would never do that. I talk out my ass sometimes! Don't you worry. I'm not that girl. Love you KD

KD: It will be taken care of! I hang out with you cause I love you!!!

WW: Thanx babe! I love you more then you may ever know.

WW: Thank you do much Kevin. Becca and I are cool. You don't know how much better I feel. Hope to see you later tonight! XO

WW: I'm home my love.... Thanx for keeping me company tonight! Xo

WW: Hope you are enjoying your dayz off babe. Xo

KD: Hey babe, just got home from work and really feel like **** today so I think I'm just gonna hit the sack early and prepare for tomorrow. Hope you had/have a wicked night!!!

WW: Ok I love you!!'

WW: What!? No goodbye on Saturday? Whats up with that? I love you but that **** hurts my feelings 
I really hope your ok, been worried about you. XO

KD: Worried? Why? I'm sorry I didnt say goodbye just went from zero to hero right quick and had to bolt, didnt even drink my last call.

WW: Fair enough babe. Just not how I thought we rolled. If your good then I'm good. Xo

KD: Are you ok? I'm a little confused!

WW: I'm good KD.

KD: What are you worried about?

WW: Nothing babe! It's all good. Xo

WW: Hoping to see your big blues this weekend KD! Could use one of your hugs.....

KD: On my way babe! What's your plan babe?

WW: At (bar)...come??

KD: Without you there is no Friday night, love you without question!!! My happy is YOU! Here's me being selfish, wake up tomorrow with a smile, **** you looked pretty tonight, not that you remember me.

WW: Are you kidding. I love you! Forever!!! KD you are you you for real? You are love too me!!! I love you!!!!!

WW: All I remember is you KD!! Always....

WW: We have a birthday drinks date on Wednesday, don't forget

WW: We doing this tonight? I feel like poop and need some sleep so can't stay long...your call buddy.

KD: No problem if you are not feeling up to it but I'm ready to go if you are...

WW: If your down I'm down. Hoping to be cut pretty quick.... See you soon. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

WW: You there?? Gotta talk


----------



## life101 (Nov 18, 2012)

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

EA 95%
PA 75%
I'll post reasons when I'm not typing 9 wpm on a stupid tablet.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Oh, my God. They are possessed by the spirits of 14-year-olds.

Sorry, but they make me feel quite ill!


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

life101 said:


> If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.


...and what rhymes with duck? This is the definition of an affair. Emotional for certain, probably physical too. Sorry.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Oh, my God. They are possessed by the spirits of 14-year-olds.
> 
> Sorry, but they make me feel quite ill!


That's the mentality she and the people in that bar all have, all the time. It is indeed sickening. Don't miss it one bit.


----------



## timedoesnothealall (Sep 15, 2013)

Count the XO's and then tally up the number of times "Love" is used in this exchange. There's your answer.

EA = 100%

PA = 99.9%


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I wonder how many more there were. How could I have been so blind???


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> ...and what rhymes with duck? This is the definition of an affair. Emotional for certain, probably physical too. Sorry.


Yeah. Me too.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I woke up with a smile on my face!!!!!!!!!!

says it all.


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

> KD: I love you too! If only we met in highschool....
> 
> WW: Well I was in high school WAY b4 you... So that may not have worked!! Your *all *mine now and that's what counts!


Verdict: PA


----------



## No_one (Nov 4, 2013)

This really depends on the person she is- as (obviously) everyone is so different, but my take on this would be that she may not have had a PA with this person. Instead she enjoyed keeping him (and I'm guessing others) sitting on the back burner where he could be one of her adoring fans...giving her the attention she needed without any of the "messy stuff"

It doesn't read to me like a PA. But that's JMO


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

What was I married to??? My GOD.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Forgot to mention - he lives with her now (he rents the basement).


----------



## mamabear131617 (Oct 5, 2013)

Uh, yeah I'd say so! Yikes! So sorry!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

Its obvious it was physical. I hope you have been checked for STD's. Clearly she was a very good liar to you.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Healer said:


> I wonder how many more there were. How could I have been so blind???


Because you loved her. As you gave her no reason to doubt you, you expected that she was giving you no reason to doubt her.

You weren't blind. You just didn't expect to have to look for her cheating.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Because you loved her. As you gave her no reason to doubt you, you expected that she was giving you no reason to doubt her.
> 
> You weren't blind. You just didn't expect to have to look for her cheating.


Thanks Matt.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Game, Set, and Match! In my learned opinion, it's a PA!

Do "the 180" on her immediately and get yourself to a lawyers office pronto! You don't need this crap!*


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

It's coming up on dday (Nov 20) and the holidays (and daughter and son's birthdays). Having a rough go, especially with this realization. Gotta see her in 1 hour for the kid exchange too. Ugh.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Game, Set, and Match! It's a PA!
> 
> Do "the 180" and get yourself to a lawyers office pronto!*


Done and done, son.

Divorce is in the works, and I just had a lovely weekend with a sweet lady (who is not my stbxw).

It's over and I am good - but learning she was a serial cheater is still a hard pill to swallow.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Heck, at least my marriage was mentioned in my wife's crappy text string. She said she wasn't leaving blah blah blah. That's ugly. I think weightlifter meant 75% Intercourse PA. 100% Heavy Petting and Kissing PA.

I can tell by the breaks this is a week or month long conversation. If you guess at the stops and starts, she met this guy at least 6-7 times. Then they had a drinking birthday "date."


Now, you are divorcing quit looking at things that are going to make you angrier. You tried R and tried to work on things. At least you know you put your entire heart into fixing the marriage. That's all any spouse can do, it is up to the other person to reciprocate.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Healer said:


> Done and done, son.
> 
> Divorce is in the works, and I just had a lovely weekend with a sweet lady (who is not my stbxw).
> 
> It's over and I am good - but learning she was a serial cheater is still a hard pill to swallow.


*You'll always have a shoulder to lean on, Healer, as long as you here! And in time, you'll provide that same shoulder to some other hurting soul!*


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Specially for Healer. I hope it helps:-
More business for today


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Healer,

I totally understand why this info p****s you off even though you are already divorcing.

It just adds to the s**t sandwich she forced you to eat.

I don't know if this will help you, but I know it hurt my cheating exgf that I had completely detached from her and didn't give a rat's a** about her at all when she asked to get back together 8 months later.

I think if you can use this hate and anger to truly kill off any emotional feeling towards her at all ever again, not only will it allow you to move on, but seeing herself dead in your eyes will be the closest you can get to having her feel a small fraction of what you have had to endure.

Now, not every WS would be effected by such coldness, but from what you have shared about your situation, I think it would kill your WW if you showed absolute indifference to anything to do with her.

By continuing to be upset by what may still be out their in her sordid actions, you are showing her she still matters to you.

The day she sees that she means NOTHING to you anymore will be a painful one for her, and a liberating one for you, in my opinion.


----------



## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

high school all over again


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Healer said:


> Done and done, son.
> 
> Divorce is in the works, and I just had a lovely weekend with a sweet lady (who is not my stbxw).
> 
> It's over and I am good - but learning she was a serial cheater is still a hard pill to swallow.


I'm not convinced this was a pa, sounds like two barflys though. How often did she go out without you. What did you expect to happen ?


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> I'm not convinced this was a pa, sounds like two barflys though. How often did she go out without you. What did you expect to happen ?


Healer you trusted and were duped we all were.

If this lady seems special focus on her.

Sounds like your stbxw is going to end up being alone in the end with bottles of gin and 6 cats.
I hope you make out ok in the d.


----------



## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Probably a PA affair.

:lol:


----------



## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

Every line there screams EMOTIONAL AFFAIR. Possibly more. 
Yes she's a serial cheater - dump her without regrets.


----------



## Working1 (Sep 28, 2013)

Not convinced it was an affair, sounds like groovy friends in typical text language, I know people like that, constantly saying 'I love you so much : ) Can't wait to see you xxxooo etc.' 'you are my everything' it goes something like the more boundaries in your conversation mannerisms you can cross, the cooler you are….


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Healer said:


> WW: DOYLE!! How are you doing? So I wanted to get you the Van info...if your still down with helping me sell it, like I said I'll give you 20% of whatever you can get me. I love you!!
> 
> Scale 2/10 rather innocuous. too broad could be favor = love
> 
> ...


Now having read line by line, Ill revise my odds a bit. 

EA 99%
PA 85%

Its back and forth between 80 and 90% PA depending upon the line.

Who generically IS KD? Henceforth known as Kevin Dooshbag!
Who generically is renae
Who generically is becca?
Who generically is Dave? 
Who generically is Stacey?


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

That sounds like the months, even years, worth of texts I discovered between my now-ex husband and any number of his "friends". A few of those women were PAs, a few were EAs, and many were just bored wives with boundaries as profoundly poor as his. I look at it this way: Do I really want a spouse who speaks this way to members of the opposite sex? If not, then it doesn't really matter to me whether it was a PA, "just" and EA, or even "just friends". It's beyond inappropriate and it's not acceptable to me. I don't want to be married to anyone who behaves this way - with one "friend" or ten. 

Healer, it may benefit you to simply try to see your wife as someone with boundaries you can't tolerate and a concept of marriage that you don't share. It doesn't really matter whether she had a PA with this guy. She wasn't someone who you could trust, she was grossly inappropriate with men, and her idea of what a marriage should look like was incompatible with yours. Finding new details, new examples, will do nothing at this point beyond strengthen the knowledge that you already have that she's not someone you want to be married to. Oh, and p1ss you off. It will still do that. But that's not really good for you, just creates stress and keeps you from freeing yourself from the drama she brings to your life. 

So, yes, your wife was a cheater. Possibly even a serial cheater. But the best thing you can possibly do now is stop being drawn into her dysfunction and work on detaching fully. The opposite of love is _not_ hate, it's apathy. 

I'm so sorry.


----------



## sedona (Oct 10, 2013)

WW: Well I was in high school WAY b4 you... So that may not have worked!! *Your all mine now *and that's what counts! Thanx for being you!! Xo

At first I was on the fence about it all, but that bolded statement made me think it's a PA. 

completely cheesy though. They sound like swinger characters from a bad 1970s SNL episode. Idiots.


----------



## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Sorry Healer.
You were fooled like the rest of us BS on here. 

Don't EVER EVER EVER feel like a fool for having been fooled. 

That divorce may seem painful right now, they always do no matter what. . . but just you wait. . . 

For what it's worth I didn't really get PA from it. It sounded too flippant and stupid. . .what are they. . . 14?


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> Healer,
> 
> I totally understand why this info p****s you off even though you are already divorcing.
> 
> ...


I know you're right man. I'm definitely getting better, and my angry outbursts at her are almost nil (save for the odd trigger that sets me off). She still texts me a lot and tries to engage - and I just don't (unless I have to - like for stuff with the kids). But I'm cold and shut off from her. I know it drives her nuts.

In some ways finding this stuff out is painful - but on the other hand, it reinforces my decision to divorce her cheating ass.

With time I detach more and more. But I'm not all the way there just yet.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> I'm not convinced this was a pa, sounds like two barflys though. How often did she go out without you. What did you expect to happen ?


She worked nights at a bar for our entire marriage, so she used that time (not actually working) to do her ****ting around. Her excuse for not getting a day gig was that she wanted to be at home with the kids in the day. Really it just gave her the cover to be a skank, do blow and do guys.

Yeah - I was naive.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> Now having read line by line, Ill revise my odds a bit.
> 
> EA 99%
> PA 85%
> ...


Whoa - thanks man.

Dooshbag is a barfly that basically lives at her bar and is a complete loser drunk. He's also currently her roommate.

Renae and becca I don't know.

Dave is her boss (an obese idiot) and Stacy his gf. They are swingers and she told me all the time they were trying to get her to join them. I'm sure she did. I got a LOT of texts at 3 am saying "going to Dave and Stacy's for wine after work so I'll be late". 

I shudder to think of all the nastiness she was involved in while we were together.


----------



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

Healer said:


> She worked nights at a bar for our entire marriage, so she used that time (not actually working) to do her ****ting around. Her excuse for not getting a day gig was that she wanted to be at home with the kids in the day. Really it just gave her the cover to be a skank, do blow and do guys.
> 
> Yeah - I was naive.


I'm really sorry healer.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Rowan said:


> That sounds like the months, even years, worth of texts I discovered between my now-ex husband and any number of his "friends". A few of those women were PAs, a few were EAs, and many were just bored wives with boundaries as profoundly poor as his. I look at it this way: Do I really want a spouse who speaks this way to members of the opposite sex? If not, then it doesn't really matter to me whether it was a PA, "just" and EA, or even "just friends". It's beyond inappropriate and it's not acceptable to me. I don't want to be married to anyone who behaves this way - with one "friend" or ten.
> 
> Healer, it may benefit you to simply try to see your wife as someone with boundaries you can't tolerate and a concept of marriage that you don't share. It doesn't really matter whether she had a PA with this guy. She wasn't someone who you could trust, she was grossly inappropriate with men, and her idea of what a marriage should look like was incompatible with yours. Finding new details, new examples, will do nothing at this point beyond strengthen the knowledge that you already have that she's not someone you want to be married to. Oh, and p1ss you off. It will still do that. But that's not really good for you, just creates stress and keeps you from freeing yourself from the drama she brings to your life.
> 
> ...


Thanks Rowan.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Differentguy said:


> I'm really sorry healer, but i'm glad you found out the truth before you had kids/invested years into it.


Married 13 years - 2 kids.


----------



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

Healer said:


> Married 13 years - 2 kids.


I'm sorry. I immediately edited it since i wasn't sure and confused your story with anothers. I feel like i just put salt in the wound. If its any consolation, i just found out my wife of 11 years and 2 kids has cheated on me. I can't apologize enough healer.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Differentguy said:


> I'm sorry. I immediately edited it since i wasn't sure and confused your story with anothers. I feel like i just put salt in the wound. If its any consolation, i just found out my wife of 11 years and 2 kids has cheated on me. I can't apologize enough healer.


Oh man - no problem at all and certainly that didn't bother me - honest mistake.

I am so very sorry about your situation. First anniversary for dday is in 1 week for me - I remember how I felt when I was in your place. Awful. Just awful. 

We're here for you man, and if you need to PM me to chat or anything, I'm here for you amigo.


----------



## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

One thing I've learned here--sorry if it's at your expense: I will never date, let alone marry, a woman that works at a bar.


----------



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

Healer said:


> Oh man - no problem at all and certainly that didn't bother me - honest mistake.
> 
> I am so very sorry about your situation. First anniversary for dday is in 1 week for me - I remember how I felt when I was in your place. Awful. Just awful.
> 
> We're here for you man, and if you need to PM me to chat or anything, I'm here for you amigo.


I appreciate it healer. I'm very glad my comment didn't offend. I say "just" found out. It was 2 months ago, but the wife lied to me so much since then, I am only now feeling slightly more emotionally stable. 

I may take you up on your offer sometime.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

BK23 said:


> One thing I've learned here--sorry if it's at your expense: I will never date, let a lone marry, a woman that works at a bar.


Bars are training camps for infidelity. No exaggeration. 

I find myself hitting on waitresses in bars - then I slap myself and say "what in the **** are you doing????"

I won't generalize because that gets me in trouble - but my stbxw's bar - that place is just disgusting. The mentality of those people - intellectually and emotionally stunted - every one of them. They're stupid, vapid, immature, self centered and about as deep as a thin crust pizza. You get lots of young people coming through - who have an excuse to be idiots - they're young. Then you get the lifers (my wife) who consider the bar and its people to be their "family", while their actual family sits waiting for them to come home. 

She quit that bar as part of our false R, professing she was going to grow up, blah blah. The second I ended R, she was back there, and thrilled about it.

Yuck.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Differentguy said:


> I appreciate it healer. I'm very glad my comment didn't offend. I say "just" found out. It was 2 months ago, but the wife lied to me so much since then, I am only now feeling slightly more emotionally stable.
> 
> I may take you up on your offer sometime.


Are you still together?


----------



## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

Healer said:


> Are you still together?


Sigh...yes. I am not going to jack your thread. Bottom line, she "came clean" about ONS years ago, and 5 other inappropriate encounters throughout our marriage (sexting a coworker, making out with female friend when drunk, kissing guy on dance floor drunk, etc.). I kept badgering her because it didn't add up, she changed her story daily, adding literally 100 other encounters, including sex for drugs (she is a recovering addict). Now she recanted and is sticking to her original trickle truth. I am researching polygraphs now. Honestly, her current story makes much more sense, but I seriously doubt all of those were just drunk kisses. 

Yes, we are currently together, each going to IC. I committed to not making any decisions right now. Thanks healer. If you want a good laugh, you should see my thread. I might have the "clown sex" troll beat.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Differentguy said:


> Sigh...yes. I am not going to jack your thread. Bottom line, she "came clean" about ONS years ago, and 5 other inappropriate encounters throughout our marriage (sexting a coworker, making out with female friend when drunk, kissing guy on dance floor drunk, etc.). I kept badgering her because it didn't add up, she changed her story daily, adding literally 100 other encounters, including sex for drugs (she is a recovering addict). Now she recanted and is sticking to her original trickle truth. I am researching polygraphs now. Honestly, her current story makes much more sense, but I seriously doubt all of those were just drunk kisses.
> 
> Yes, we are currently together, each going to IC. I committed to not making any decisions right now. Thanks healer. If you want a good laugh, you should see my thread. I might have the "clown sex" troll beat.


Thanks DG - I'll peep your thread. Best of luck to you, and I hope you do whatever is right for you. I know the pain you're in. It's a real mother.


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

If you're divorcing because of her 1st affair, who cares. Move on.


----------



## Stronger-now (Oct 31, 2013)

Working1 said:


> Not convinced it was an affair, sounds like groovy friends in typical text language, I know people like that, constantly saying 'I love you so much : ) Can't wait to see you xxxooo etc.' 'you are my everything' it goes something like the more boundaries in your conversation mannerisms you can cross, the cooler you are….


A woman here, and we adult women do not talk like this. 

So the possibilities here are:

1. The guy is a 19 year-old gay and the wife is 19 year old
2. The guy is not gay, the wife is 19 year old and in (puppy) love with him
3. The guy is actually a 19 year old girl and the wife was just humouring her because she is the wife's niece.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Stronger-now said:


> A woman here, and we adult woman do not talk like this. So the possibilities here are:
> 
> 1. The guy is a 19 year-old gay and the wife is 19 year old
> 2. The guy is not gay, the wife is 19 year old and in (puppy) love with him
> 3. The guy is actually a 19 year old girl and the wife was just humouring her because she is the wife's niece.


She's 36 and he's 30 something. 

And number 3 made me LOL.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

CH said:


> If you're divorcing because of her 1st affair, who cares. Move on.


I know. These were simultaneous affairs.


----------



## CouldItBeSo (Mar 11, 2013)

She doesn't sound like a 36 year old. More like a 13 year old. One thing that stuck my eye is that they both type "you're" wrong.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

CouldItBeSo said:


> She doesn't sound like a 36 year old. More like a 13 year old. One thing that stuck my eye is that they both type "you're" wrong.


Your right, they do! 

Yes - the minds of teenagers. Dumb like dirt.


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

So this POSOM rents her basement? What is he some financial wizard?

So she traded the cream of the crop for what? Some loser that rents her basement and does special favors? 

How is this going to be a wonderful future? Sorry, I just do not understand. What was she thinking?

Hope you detach and become pain-free soon.

Sorry you are going thru this. Hope you come out well in the D.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

harrybrown said:


> So this POSOM rents her basement? What is he some financial wizard?
> 
> So she traded the cream of the crop for what? Some loser that rents her basement and does special favors?
> 
> ...


Yeah Harry - it's astounding what she traded down for. Her PA AP was a coke dealer. I make $100+k a year, was 100% faithful, told her I loved her everyday, that she was beautiful, smart, could do anything she put her mind to, was a great mom, I let her sleep as late as she wanted on weekends (all day) while I took care of the kids...I was a good man to her and she had a great life. She threw it away for a thug and the barfly life. She always said "you're too good for me". She was right. I was also a nice guy...didn't work out too well for me.

She needs drama, someone who treats her like ****, and negativity all around her to thrive. She is the most damaged person I've ever known.

During R she was so afraid I was going to leave - she couldn't believe I was giving her another chance. When I ended it, she realized what she threw away. It was too late.

I'm a much happier/healthier person now - I would've stayed in that awful marriage forever, because that's the promise I made. Fortunately for me, she made the decision to kill it for both of us. I couldn't have walked away - I couldn't have done that to my family. So in some weird, twisted way, I owe her a debt of gratitude. Sad.


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP did you have a paternity test for the kids
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

workindad said:


> OP did you have a paternity test for the kids
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No. Both kids are a spitting image of me. Physically and personality wise. They're both already smarter than their mother.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Healer said:


> No. Both kids are a spitting image of me. Physically and personality wise. They're both already smarter than their mother.


I didn't miss that cheap shot.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

tom67 said:


> I didn't miss that cheap shot.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Healer said:


> No. Both kids are a spitting image of me. Physically and personality wise. They're both already smarter than their mother.


LOL cold cold cold


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> LOL cold cold cold


Like a dead fish, brother.


----------

