# need some advice



## vic21 (Nov 13, 2008)

My husband has recently told me that he isnt happy. He says he doesnt know why, that it isnt anything i have done & that he cant pinpoint a reason as to why he is feeling this way. He just feels unhappy ! We have been going through alot lately financially & our first baby is on the way in 4 months so im sure the added stress isnt helping anything ! He says he still loves me & is in love with me. We arent intimate anymore hardly, even hugging or kissing, holding hands or any of the usual stuff we would do to be close is out the window since all of this stress has been going on. I am very much wanting to be intimate & finding it hard to control myself because i crave attention from him that im not getting. He is staying here & trying to work on things but says things are not getting better. I am wondering if it is "ME" or if it is general unhappiness with life or maybe alot of built up stress & depression as of recent that is causing this ! It would be so much easier if i knew what was wrong so i could fix it..but i dont & either does he. he takes time away to try & de-stress like playing football or cards with friends, taking a nice hot bath in the evening to unwind & just generally having some alone time to think things through ! This seems to help him for a little while but then a few days later he is back at it again with the stress, unhappiness & all of that ! im unsure what to do because he wont seek help through dr or meds..any of that. He just wants to deal with it on our own ! he says it makes him feel better to be away from "here", that he doesnt think about it as much when he is not here. Then when he is back here he is stressed again..i dont know what to do to help him. I fear that he will leave if things dont get better. We are currently living with my mom & both lost our jobs about 2 months ago. He is starting a new job on monday so maybe that will help him to become happy again, by getting back in the workforce ! who knows ! i want to work on things so much but i cant get him to let me in..he pushes me away if i try to cuddle or do anything, & wont really talk about things with me. anyone have any advice or going through similar ?! thank you


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My initial impression is it is the loss of the job and moving in with your folks is the core issue. In his mind he may feel a failure especially since you have your first child on the way. He may be spending time away to avoid your parents fearing their disappointment in him. How do they react to him? Are they supportive of you and him in this? I can also imagine that intimacy for a young couple when living with parents is difficult to begin with, add the stress with financials and a new baby and things are pretty difficult for you both. I know money is very tight so have you asked your parents to take a night out so the two of you can spend the evening together. If the hot bath works for him be there to help him relax, wash his back….. Then enjoy a relaxing movie or a quiet evening listening to music and talking. Help him through this time. I agree that the new job will help. It will give him a sense of worth again. Good luck.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Amplexor said:


> My initial impression is it is the lose of the job and moving in with your folks is the core issue. In his mind he may feel a failure especially since you have your first child on the way. He may be spending time away to avoid your parents fearing their disappointment in him.


:iagree:

Only if he starts to communicate with you, while you listen and listen to you when you talk are these issues going to be solved.

draconis


----------



## DaveMarrow (Nov 16, 2008)

Vic,

I'd let your life get back in order, i.e. the job. That is putting a lot of stress on the situation. Fight through it and it will make your relationship stronger.


----------

