# What goes on in a man's mind when .........



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Would a man share with another woman that his ex wife cheated and left to another female ?

What goes on in his mind when he tells a woman that ? 

Would he fear it will affect how a potential woman will look at him ?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I would guess that if a man was willing to share that, he's not particularly worried how that reflects on him and has come to terms with the fact that his ex's sexual preferences have nothing to do with him.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Is it details you will tell to anyone ? Or only closer friends or potential gf ? 

I don't tell my divorce details except to a few very close friends .


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

tripad said:


> Is it details you will tell to anyone ? Or only closer friends or potential gf ?
> 
> I don't tell my divorce details except to a few very close friends .


Well, I guess it depends as to who I might share it with. Is this a real situation you're involved in, or a hypothetical? Some context would be useful.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

If it's the truth, and it's in his past, what's the big deal?

It's no reflection on him that his ex left him for a same sex partner.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

oops

I think in my haste i was not clear .

I meant that he shared with me that his ex wife cheated with another man .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

GTdad said:


> Well, I guess it depends as to who I might share it with. Is this a real situation you're involved in, or a hypothetical? Some context would be useful.


real situation .

single dad shared that his ex cheated and ran off with another man . I didnt ask .


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

tripad said:


> oops
> 
> I think in my haste i was not clear .
> 
> I meant that he shared with me that his ex wife cheated with another man .


I would think that he would tell you that to explain why he is no longer married.

I know when I tell people why I left my ex-wife, they understand immediately why I did it.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

a man who wouldn't share the truth about his wife running off with another woman clearly wouldn't be secure in his sexuality.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

tripad said:


> real situation .
> 
> single dad shared that his ex cheated and ran off with another man . I didnt ask .


First date? If so, it might be a case of over-sharing although that can be a pretty subjective call. 

The best bet is to ask him.


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

Me personally, I would have to feel a very strong bond with you to tell you that. I'd have to have a large amount of trust in you and have never felt like you had judged me in the past.


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## depressedandexhausted (Aug 24, 2015)

I think he is trying to be upfront and honest with you. Something you should find refreshing.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm not sure simply saying that my spouse was unfaithful and left me for an affair partner actually qualifies as "details". 

When anyone asks why/how my marriage ended, I tell them that I divorced my husband when I found out he'd been repeatedly unfaithful. Only people I'm close to know the play-by-play of the entire dramatic saga. But I see a short basic statement of facts as being entirely normal to share with anyone who wants or needs to know why I'm divorced.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I don't understand the motivation of your question. Was this on a date? A fellow soccer parent? Someone behind you in line at the grocery store?

Context makes a difference here....


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Constable Odo said:


> a man who wouldn't share the truth about his wife running off with another woman clearly wouldn't be secure in his sexuality.


Actually she ran off with another man; that wasn't clear in the OP but she clarified it later.


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

I wouldnt think anything. Its life. Stuff happens. People make choices. Now if he cheated on his XW that would be different because that speaks to his character. He cannot control the character of his XW.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

He may have mentioned that to you to redirect the reflection that he may have caused the divorce, after all, it is not uncommon when you hear that someone is divorce you become curious how what happen to the marriage.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Tripad, what's your concern here? What do _you_ think it means and why? I'm still not clear on the reason you're asking about this.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

context

single dad ask me over to talk as I was going through my own divorce then .

I was distressed about my own divorce and talked . On hind sight , I didnt ask about his story . He just shared some details which is rather personal , his ex , his dad , his mum's death ......

at that time , I was puzzled . 

so I am wondering if he was remotely keen in me then , on hind sight again . I didnt analysed or noticed anything then as I was too depressed and crying .


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

tripad said:


> context
> 
> single dad ask me over to talk as *I was going through my own divorce then .
> 
> ...


He was just being supportive and giving you an example of how he could relate to the hurt you were expressing. Sounds perfectly nice and normal to me.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

:smile2:


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

tripad said:


> context
> 
> single dad ask me over to talk as I was going through my own divorce then .
> 
> ...


Wait, what?

You were talking about your own divorce, asked him about his, and he told you, and you're confused why he told you?

I'm confused why you're confused.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

marduk said:


> Wait, what?
> 
> You were talking about your own divorce, asked him about his, and he told you, and you're confused why he told you?
> 
> I'm confused why you're confused.



I didnt ask about his


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

N i am not confused 

just wondering


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

OK, so you shared your story, and he shared his.

Maybe in an attempt to say "I understand some of what you're going through."


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Rowan said:


> I'm not sure simply saying that my spouse was unfaithful and left me for an affair partner actually qualifies as "details".
> 
> When anyone asks why/how my marriage ended, I tell them that I divorced my husband when I found out he'd been repeatedly unfaithful. Only people I'm close to know the play-by-play of the entire dramatic saga. But I see a short basic statement of facts as being entirely normal to share with anyone who wants or needs to know why I'm divorced.


Yep same here. Early on in dating I would probably over share because I was still hurt at the time but now when asked why divorced I say because my x wife was a cheater and of low morale character and I wanted a better life for me and my daughters. That's it short and to the point. It had never occurred to me what the other person thinks about that since infidelity is rampit to cause divorce .


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

tripad said:


> N i am not confused
> 
> just wondering


Isn't that just normal conversation? 

I think you're analyzing this too much.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

tripad said:


> so I am wondering if he was remotely keen in me then , on hind sight again . I didnt analysed or noticed anything then as I was too depressed and crying .


Is this the question you want answered, whether he's interested in you?

He might be, but that's not clear from the conversation. Like others have said, I think he was just sharing and empathizing.

Not to say that he doesn't want something to happen between you, but you'll have to wait and see. If you were upset and crying, he may well choose to wait until things are less raw for you.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Yup

Let's see

Yup red hot sore and raw then

Much better now . Almost arriving ?


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