# Help! What do I say/do?



## Catcake86

My husband and I have been separated for about 1 1/2 months. He was the one who initiated all of this and I've made every effort to fix things, but nothing works. I've been staying with my parents. This whole time he's shifted blame on me, been cold to me, etc. I finally decided around Thanksgiving to really work at doing the 180. It really helped me see that I could move on without him and be okay, even though I wanted very badly for us to be able to work things. Well last night he sent me the following e-mail:
"I just wanna tell you that no matter what's been said in the past that I do love you, I've never stopped loving you"
This is really the first thing like this that he's said since we separated. What do you think I should say back? I don't want to ignore it. I don't want to be rude. But I also don't want to seem too overly excited or desperate with him.


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## GusPolinski

Hmm.

He might have been fishing for a drunken booty call.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FrazzledSadHusband

How about - OK, does this mean you want to work on our issues or what???


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## SecondTime'Round

I think I'd just respond with, "?"


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## soccermom2three

I agree with Gus. I wouldn't respond.


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## arbitrator

*Was infidelity involved by either party to help predicate the separation?*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workingatit

I would respond with a "Thank you" and leave it at that. It can be a sign that he is "thinking" and trying to hold out for a reconnect - but it can also be a trap to get you to soften and get all "weak" so to speak. A simple thank you will show you are not being a "*****" - but is also firm enough to show you are not weak.


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## Orange_Pekoe

I'd say, "We shouldn't express these things unless you want to work things out."
And leave it at that.


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## happy as a clam

workingatit said:


> I would respond with a "Thank you" and leave it at that. It can be a sign that he is "thinking" and trying to hold out for a reconnect - but it can also be a trap to get you to soften and get all "weak" so to speak. A simple thank you will show you are not being a "*****" - but is also firm enough to show you are not weak.


:iagree:

A simple thank you leaves the door open slightly, without completely undoing all that you have achieved through your 180. And it puts the ball back in his court without dragging you back into all his drama and uncertainty.


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## Satya

There's nothing at all wrong with the message he sent you. It's probably true. 

You can easily feel that you love someone and still not be good for them.

I wouldn't reply personally, or if I did, keep it utterly brief. Thanks or Thank you would be enough.

Nice to know but you're kinda busy carrying on with your life now. He initated, you're following through.


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## BlueWoman

I'm in the don't reply camp. He's done the bare minimum hoping to get a response. It's not enough. He needs to step it up if he wants a response from you.


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## HiRoad

say "thank you" that's it.

DONT say ILU back!!


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## MM29

I would keep my response to a minimum, a simply
Thank you is good enough.. Pls tell me
More about this 180 process


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## Marc878

Don't get your hopes up. It's probably just Cheaterspeak. 

If he truly loves you he'd stop seeing the OW. 

Actions speak louder than words. Do not let up on the 180!!!!!!

Continue to built your life and capabilities. 

How long are you going to live in limbo before you file on him. Have you done full exposure on him and his whatever you want to call her????? If not you are making a mistake here.

His behavior should have consequences.


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