# Fantasy vs. Wishful Thinking



## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

My wife has a LOT of hang-ups with fantasy -- mostly because of a strict, religious upbringing and loads of guilt. I know she has undisclosed sexual fantasies and dreams...but, she's locked-up that closet tighter than a drum. My reasoning with her goes something like this:

"Fantasy" is purely THAT. Like the Easter bunny or Santa Claus. It will never happen -- and, is likely something we would NEVER actually "want" to happen. It's just fun, wild, sexy imagination. To me, there is NOTHING wrong with healthy fantasy.

"Wishful Thinking" is a little different. It's kind of "like" a fantasy, except it's something you'd like to become reality. To me, this is where you can cross a dangerous line -- or, at least that is my appeal to her guilt complex.

I'm not into "wishful thinking"...but, "fantasy?"...you bet. Am I on the right track here?


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

Why aren't you into "wishful thinking"? Because your wife isn't interested?

Maybe if you bring her in slowly you can open her eyes to a much more erotically satisfying experience.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

When it comes to "wishful thinking"...she won't even go there. Brick wall...major defense mechanisms...no way, Jose. At this point, it's not even worth exploring. I love her...and, have understood & accepted this for a long time.

What I'd like to see her do though...is explore and enjoy her fantasies a little bit. The reason I KNOW they're in there -- is because when she gets REALLY turned-on, and starts to lose her inhibitions a little -- she'll slightly crack the door, and confess a few very conservative fantasies -- but NO more. It's hotter than HECK when she does...but, I'd love to see her express those more freely. I know I'd enjoy it...and, I think she would benefit immensely from letting those "genies" out of the bottle.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

When you figure this out let me know. I've tried with my husband and I get very little. I've just assumed it was because his drive was lower than mine and let it go but now in light of recent events I'm not so sure.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

Here is the crazy thing: She is the most outgoing, FUN, always UP for a party, positive person you've ever met! Not only that, she's confident, attractive and smart. But, when it comes to sex -- she defaults to the "rule book", and loses all sense of adventure and...well, FUN.

It's like she can't get past the idea that fantasy -- even if it's NEVER acted upon -- is somehow "dirty", "sinful" and off limits.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Roy,

I hear ya. My wife is very similar. She tells me she has zero fantasies. How the heck is that possible? :scratchhead:

So if you figure out a way to get her to open up, share with us will ya?


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## zaliblue (Apr 26, 2011)

Maybe she has some really sick fantasies lol...and is embarrassed to tell you....im an open book and when my hubby ask me some sexual questions and i told him that i got off to the hunchback of notre dom being beaten i've never lived that down lol....i know im a sick individual lol...but he ask....and all of my friends ended up hearing about this....i just have a thing for pain kind of lol....so yeh...maybe she has some weird stuff going on in there and is just scared to tell ya....


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

See...I would LOVE to know that! And, I wouldn't be surprised if she has some wild stuff rolling around in her imagination -- but she is just SO embarrassed or guarded about it, she won't share it.

It's nearly impossible to convince her to watch a porno together, so we haven't in a LONG time. But one time -- ONCE -- she got kinda turned-on and admitted that girl-girl was pretty hot. That was a MAJOR breakthrough -- but, she has never gone there again.


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