# I'm Shocked-- My Wife Thinks I'm a Beta



## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

It started with "I'm not putting that in my mouth."

I discovered yesterday that my wife views me as a beta male, maybe even an omega. 
This is going to be a long rambling post, and rather graphic, I've got so much in my head I don't know how to get it all out...

This realization that my dear wife regards me as a pathetic beta has knocked my wind out and and I'm still grappling to get my mind around it. How this realization happened is I think interesting. 

I apologize in advance for the NC-17 rated graphic nature of this post, and the graphic material is relevant, and you've been warned, so back-click now if you can't take it. 
So the context of this is, yesterday morning my wife offers to make herself available for sex. (I know, being available vs wanting is the first sign). With her generally there is little sophisticated foreplay (except that which benefits her... more on that later). Her idea of foreplay is to drop her clothes, lay on the bed buck naked and wait for me to 'do something'. I supposed that could be sexy especially if she did something interesting like fingering herself... but usually it's just lay there. 

So yesterday, she drops her clothes, sits on the bed buck naked in front of me. Off comes my shorts and out pops the john-thomas smacking her right between her boobs. She grabs it, strokes it and says in a mildly "I'm not putting it (or that) in my mouth." 
That statement hit me like a punch in the gut. There was nothing "hurtful" about the way she said it, it was a simple statement. (My wife is a hot south american... trust me, you know what she's feeling when she says something...) But it stuck in my head and turns out that statement was like a Rosetta stone to a bunch of stuff that’s been floating around in my mind for a while.

I love sex, and have a high drive (duh, I'm a guy, right...) and my wife is hot. Really... she's hot. Every dude that posts about his wife or posts a pic thinks his wife is hot... but sorry dudes, 90% of those are not hot, maybe 10% are. She's in the 10%. Her at 40 after 13 years of marriage, I can't keep my hands off her. Even when I'm pissed at her, spooning and I get a rock hard boner that will last for hours (like 2, 3, 4 hours...). I would nail her every day, twice maybe three times a day if I could. She's maybe 20-25lb over the 110lb she was when I first met her, and guess what? Even sexier. Miraculously she’s not flabby…but oh the curves in the right places. Before she was a hot girl, now she's a sexy woman. What man doesn’t want a real woman?

...back to the relevant, graphic, backstory... so knowing my wife is somewhat of a clean/germ freak I think to myself, 'maybe it stinks bad or something?' so I surreptitiously give myself a good smell just to check, and nope... it's fine, so I kinda blow it off.

My wife is NOT averse to oral sex. She loves it particularly receiving, and she gives it too. With her though it's not often a mutual activity. She never volunteers 69 (which done right is heaven), I always have to pull her into 69. Her oral is like… like she's doing it for her own benefit. She gets aroused putting my it in her mouth, rubbing it around her lips, nose, all over her face, smacking herself with it, etc... but the way she does it… it seems like it’s entirely about her experience. It can be sleep inducing...literally. And for the love of all that's holy-- put some spit it into it! Lubrication is not optional! I've told her this many times she doesn't seem to get it, maybe she's squeamish about her own spit or something...but what I don't get is often she wants me to come while she's doing oral, and if I do she really likes it...

An aside here: she loves me going down on her, and I'm good at it because I love doing it. Sex is just not done right if you don't go down on your woman. Every time. Period. I am ALWAYS up for going down on her any time (except when she's on her cycle and even then, it’s like “how heavy is it?”. Not bad? Panties off!) Forget about "did you wash"? Forget about "I just came back from the gym" forget about "I'm not so fresh since I didn't clean up after the last time we had sex"... Are you kidding me? Don’t wash. Really. Mild rinsing good, scrubbing down, bad. It took me years to convince my wife to stop scrubbing herself with soap five times a day. It was like going down on a vagina-shaped bar of soap. When I finally got through to her that her scrubbing was accomplishing the opposite of what she intended (being sexy & feminine), not only did the oral get way better, but all yeast issues completely disappeared! Real men like the smell of their woman, heck real men LOVE it. Now I'm not talking about you peed all over yourself and forgot to wipe smell, or the you have an infection smell, but the natural, scent of a healthy woman...Bring. It. On. (All you dudes who think the above is gross…Sorry, but I think you're a *****). 

Anyway we’re kissing, touching, etc...but there's nothing going on... no electricity, little arousal for either of us. Now my wife's idea of foreplay generally is I "do something" to her, and sometimes she does something to me although usually 90% is her receiving... it's always felt a little one-sided and lazy on her part, but yesterday really solidified that observation for me, 'cause in reality, it's all about her. 

Since the usual spark isn’t sparking, I go down on her for quite some time and that gets the juices flowing. She starts getting into it. When she’s not my wife will sucking her finger and/or thumb with her eyes closed. This never bothered me. Now it seemed so self-focused. She asks should she come first, orally. Normally this would hot me up because I know she’s into it, but this time it struck me as so inwardly focused it was kind of a turnoff. Knowing that if she did come from oral that intercourse would be just going through the motions, I don’t make her come. I put on a condom (we both love bareback but long story short we don’t need more kids, neither one is comfortable going under the knife, and her hormones can’t take the pill, so…). The stupid rubber is really desensitizing, so I pound her missionary but nothing much is happening. We move to cowgirl, she rides me hard and achieves orgasm while fingering herself. Eyes closed, no kissing (which squashes the intimacy) because I went down. Inward focused… almost like I was somewhat of a prop to the action. By this time I am kinda turned off/pissed and combined with the rubber, starting to lose it. So I flip her over, do her hard from behind for a little while trying to finish until I realize… duh… she already finished so she’s not turned on with this, I gradually lose it and withdraw. 

She said something like, “Oh, couldn’t finish?” again no malice, just a statement. She doesn’t offer any assistance, doesn’t appear the least bit concerned (as she has in the past) that she didn’t satisfy me. 

Here’s where it gets really interesting, and a little more NC-17…

The weird thing is this followed on about 5 days of crazy good sex. Like her wanting, initiating, being very active and her very much enjoying it (which is not merely an opinion, but something I can actually “tell” by available lubrication…). A couple of those days we went got it on twice in the same day. I was thinking “Yahoo!! Finally, a second honeymoon!” We made it through a lot of ups and downs and fought through tenaciously to make it for about 6-7 years… and I’m thinking, OMG, thank you! This is what marriage should be like. I am not naïve to believe it’s going to be like that every day… but our pattern was somewhat boring sex maybe a couple times a week with lots of gaps where there would be a week or more with no physical intimacy. And maybe crazy good sex every other month or so (crazy good as in the kind of love-making you think about for days after). All of a sudden it’s like BAM, crazy good sex 5 days in a row. And she was into it, really into it… Asked to take pictures, video, etc. She’s replaying it while we’re doing it, and getting hotter! This was a new thing, but it was spicy so I went with it. In retrospect though it seemed self-focused again… she got turned on seeing herself do stuff, or by explicit pictures or her own body. 

So next thing I know, she asks me to bite her and slap her. As leave your mark on me, next morning I want to see how you marked me. I’m doing her, and she’s like “Slap me! Slap me harder! Bite me! Mark me!” Like bite her all around her most sensitive places and leave marks. Like smack her hard enough to leave a hand print. Not just her butt, but slap her thighs, breasts, face. This is not really my thing, but I’m thinking why not? She’s asking for it, I went with it… and it drove her nuts. And sex was super-intimate, face to face, deep kissing the entire time with no squeamishness despite alternating back and forth between intercourse and oral. 

Then BAM. Nothing, no interest. Then lame no-effort sex with “I’m not putting that in my mouth.” To her this is normal…she simply says “It’s not like you’re not getting any.” Or, “we just did it yesterday.” I’m thinking, if I took her out to wine and dine her for a really fancy dinner on Friday, then Saturday night she says, “I’m hungry” and I blow her off with ‘Please… it’s not like you didn’t have dinner yesterday”… that would not go over well. Now she’s not expecting to be wined and dined every night, but she still expects dinner, right? Or look at it another way—I’ve long ago realized that “emotional affection” to a woman functions the same as sexual relations to a man. Has the same effect, fulfills the same basic needs, etc. But there’s a wicked double standard which is regular/frequent sexual intimacy is optional, wholly at the woman’s discretion based on her mood and how much laundry she has to fold, and if the man expects daily/regular effort, then he’s a selfish/childish/demanding jerk unfairly pressuring her to do something she doesn’t want to (as if you’re asking her to run a marathon or get dental surgery…I mean, c’mon it’s sex.. how hard is it to put in a little enthusiasm for someone you love). Yet try withholding emotional affection/intimacy from your wife for one day. Or even one morning or one afternoon. Guaranteed meltdown. And you, my man, are a selfish jerk for withholding—and so what about all the stress at work and everything else in your life—that’s just a selfish excuse.

After lame sex not being able to finish and her not caring, I had a lot of stuff floating around in my mind. Then it hit me: she perceives me as the beta male when she really wants to roll with the alpha-dog. She would never admit to this. In fact, I’m fairly certain this is her unconscious reality not something she can articulate. I think in her conscious mind she thinks that she perceives me as alpha, and her words say so… but her actions say otherwise. 

So after the confusing intimacy episodes I recalled to mind a lot of recent behaviors that on the surface were no big deal, but in reality speak volumes:

•	I’ve always had some facial hair going but recently she insisted I grow out my beard. Like full on face beard, and let it get thick and bushy… like a tough-guy beard. She thinks it looks hot and turns her on.
•	I practice martial arts, she seems impressed that I’m advancing quickly but she’s recently mentioned several times that I should compete. She really wants me to fight a competition. 
•	She mentioned if I had a tattoo that would probably turn her on and she would be after me for sex… neither one of us have ever had a tattoo or really had any interest in it. 
•	She keeps pushing me to start lifting again and has mentioned several times how “tough” and “intimidating” I looked a few years back when I went through P90X. I was never ripped… but yeah, I looked strong. 
•	She’s told me several times I should go back to the gym and bulk up my arms
•	She wants rough sex. Like bite her and leave my mark on her… like slap her body and face really hard. 
•	She recently confessed she briefly dated a guy who rode a Harley… and it turned her on (there was no sex in that relationship, and yes she’s told me about every sex experience, there’s not many, she’s open about that stuff)
•	She does not go down on me with the same enthusiasm, vigor and attention to my pleasure as I do to her
•	She’s not too concerned if I don’t finish
•	Her idea of hot foreplay is lay there while I do stuff to her
•	She totally takes for granted that I am “really into her”. A friend (whose husband is apparently not much into sex and doesn’t go down on her) told her “yeah, your husband is pretty much into everything about you”… with a jealous, wistful sigh—which tells me it’s not something you take for granted. 
•	She has thanked me multiple times on “you are a really awesome provider for your family” (total beta tip off)
•	She says stuff (when I’m walking around shirtless) like “You’re hot… I want you… I want to do stuff to you”… then nothing happens.
•	Her orgasm and turn-ons (like reviewing our videos) seemed very self focused
•	When she gets going she’s hot, and she really rocks it… but she never seems to crave me or sex.
•	The five or so days of rocking horniness? Hormone cycles! It’s not me she desires, it’s not like she seeks after me for sex regularly, if we manage to have crazy good sex about once a month—that’s ovulation! 

Then it HIT me—her subconscious has labeled me as “beta” while her conscious psyche would never admit to it. I tested the waters… After the heard/tattoo/lifting thing I said, “You want me to fulfill your tough-guy fantasy?” She got pissed as if I called her a ****, whereas if she did have a tough-guy fantasy, sure I’d fulfill it for her. 

I’m having some trouble figuring out where things went off-track into beta train-wreck territory. Yeah, I’m a good provider, read the “Five Love Languages” and finally got it through my dense male brain that woman thrives on emotional affection/connection… but I’m hardly a wuss. I fix stuff that breaks. I do brakes and springs and stuff on my cars. I lift heavy stuff. I have a frigging manly beard (you want a beard, I’ll give you a beard all right, full on Appalachia style babe). I’m fit and maybe not as pumped as P90X but I’m still muscular with definition, and look much younger than men my age, fearlessly roll with dudes much bigger and stronger than me (and younger), and I am very strong for my height/weight (time after time I roll with men within 5-7 years of my age and win or lose they say ‘dude, you are one strong guy’…), and I can get it up for her over and over and keep it up… And if we are going at it and I finish first (which is about 60% of the time), I either keep pounding her until she’s silly happy, or I passionately go right down on her (no stopping for ‘let me clean up’ BS) until she explodes. I never have issues getting an erection, my problem is getting them all the time! (I have no friggin clue why all these 40-something dudes need so much Viagra). I used to ‘ask’ for sex (yeah, beta I know) but I’ve stopped that a while ago. Now, I don’t ask I just attempt to initiate, I attempt to seduce and turn her on by touching her the way she likes.

So… I’m really not sure what I’m missing. Maybe she’s got it too good. She’s too secure. Maybe she knows not sex is just a snap of the fingers away. Maybe it’s not all me, it may be her…when a 40ish woman starts liking the idea of tattoos and rather rough sex maybe she’s dealing with some stuff… I dunno. Maybe I should wait for her to initiate next time (that might backfire, I think she could go a long long time)… maybe I should refuse sex (that might backfire, in the whole 2 times I’ve done that the past 10 years she was highly offended). 

What I do know is this—time to level up. Dead lifts, squats, P90X, competition rolling…maybe even a tattoo-- bring it!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

soooooo, she's not interested in pleasing you at all...so you're going to bust your ass trying to find new and interesting ways to please her?


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> soooooo, she's not interested in pleasing you at all...so you're going to bust your ass trying to find new and interesting ways to please her?


That's one (valid) way to look at it... The other is, leveling up improves yourself in many ways, especially fitness in all areas of you life. Other women checking me out will be a nice ego bonus too.

And not that she doesn't please me...she does and darn good at it too when she gets going...just doesn't make it a huge priority.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you spend time wondering if you alpha, beta or omega... you are beta. It's nonsense.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> ....So the context of this is, yesterday morning my wife offers to make herself available for sex. (I know, being available vs wanting is the first sign). With her generally there is little sophisticated foreplay (except that which benefits her... more on that later). Her idea of foreplay is to drop her clothes, lay on the bed buck naked and wait for me to 'do something'. I supposed that could be sexy especially if she did something interesting like fingering herself... but usually it's just lay there.
> 
> So yesterday, she drops her clothes, sits on the bed buck naked in front of me. Off comes my shorts and out pops the john-thomas smacking her right between her boobs. She grabs it, strokes it and says in a mildly "I'm not putting it (or that) in my mouth."
> 
> ...


My two cents; You are way overthinking this. Seriously, way too much.

Calm down and relax. Then reread what you posted, but slowly paragraph by paragraph. 

What I read is that you are angry with your wife as you feel she isn't a giving enough lover.

You were emotionally hurt when she rejected giving you a BJ and you are reading a lot into why she rejected giving you a BJ. It might have been she had a cold sore, her jaw ached or a host of things. You never really found out why, but it has been a stone around your neck.

You were even more emotionally hurt when you lost your focus and didn't climax while having sex with her and she didn't do something to make it all better.

Add to this that you are doing some things to change the internal dynamic by not asking for sex, just initiating.

As to tattoos, squats, buffing up, taking a regular shower before sex, why not.....no big deal if you want to do those things, but don't go all NICE GUY and create a covert contract with her but only in your mind.

Talk to her about how you want her to more actively touch you. Do sensate focus or mutual massage exercises with her. 

Oh, my other suggestion, stop feeling like you are God's gift to women. I think thou do protest too loudly in your extended post. A little humility goes a long way.

Good luck


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> If you spend time wondering if you alpha, beta or omega... you are beta. It's nonsense.


I'm not wondering whether I'm being beta, alpha or whatever... As the title of post says , I was shocked when I realized my wife's behavior communicated 'beta'...cause in my mind, I'm not. I typed up everything above to clear my head, and maybe who knows, get some useful insight.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

intheory said:


> You don't know if she considers you "Beta"; that's in your own head; right?


You're probably right...



intheory said:


> If she's asking you to lift weights, grow a beard, drive a motorcycle --- then you get to ask her to change things about herself that you would like: "Do a Brazilian Buttlift workout DVD" "Wear a corset" "Dye your hair auburn" (not those things, necessarily, but you get the idea).


Haha, that's actually quite funny because she is doing the Brazilian butt lift... And wears a corset from time to time. And I have told her-- do more squats, it's working for your butt!mGood point but there's not much I'd change about her...that's within her control anyway. Stuff like "get more horny!"is about it, and FWIW she has improved 




intheory said:


> It's up to you. But, fwiw, I hate for people to have to change into something they are not, so that their spouse will be attracted to them.


Fortunately...most the stuff she suggested isn't that far from my nature (well, tattoo and get a bike is probably a bit out there)



intheory said:


> Another thing I took from your post is that maybe she needs/wants something sexually that she is very embarrassed to ask for. But she's trying, by asking you to slap her etc. If you tried pulling her hair or pinning her down (not hurting her), *without her having to ask*; maybe she'd really like that.


Good point. I'm going to try initiating some of that next time we get together.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Young at Heart said:


> My two cents; You are way overthinking this. Seriously, way too much.
> 
> Oh, my other suggestion, stop feeling like you are God's gift to women. I think thou do protest too loudly in your extended post. A little humility goes a long way.
> 
> Good luck


I don't really think I'm God's gift to women... Just God's gift to my wife...hahah. Seriously, thanks for the input, I can see how my over detailed post comes off like that, though I didn't intend it.

To your point, you're right humility goes a long way especially with your wife, the trick is as you say, be humble without 'going all nice guy'


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair. 

Sounds like she wants you to quit talking and whining and be more assertive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair.
> 
> Sounds like she wants you to quit talking and whining and be more assertive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Talk less
screw more


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> If you spend time wondering if you alpha, beta or omega... you are beta. It's nonsense.


It's all Greek, to me!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> It's all Greek, to me!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I used to be a member of the Eata Bita Pi fraternity. Then I joined Hava Kuppa Bru.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> It's all Greek, to me!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't be the center on a Greek football team
Seriously 2 books for you and yes you are over thinking this

No More Mr Nice Guy
https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

And this one
Books by Athol Kay | Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life
Take her this weeekend.
Keep it simple.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> I used to be a member of the Eata Bita Pi fraternity. Then I joined Hava Kuppa Bru.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkxdosn8sOo


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> I used to be a member of the Eata Bita Pi fraternity. Then I joined Hava Kuppa Bru.


If you'd paid more attention in mythology class and less time at frat parties, you'd be more attuned to the perils of flying dangerously close to a pun.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Maybe she's getting off on too much of "Sons of Anarchy"


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

With all these kids you have, I'm surprised you have all this time to go to the gym, do martial arts and have sex as frequently as you do.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair.
> 
> *Sounds like she wants you to quit talking and whining and be more assertive.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Really? It sounds to me like she wants another man. Sleepsalone, its not time to level up, sorry. No matter what you do or try to change, you are not going to measure up the man in her head, the one she is fantasizing about...the one who isnt you. Sorry.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> With all these kids you have, I'm surprised you have all this time to go to the gym, do martial arts and have sex as frequently as you do.


"All these kids you have?"

You must be confusing me with another post...we have one, not sure where you got the idea we have many.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> It started with "I'm not putting that in my mouth."
> 
> I discovered yesterday that my wife views me as a beta male, maybe even an omega.
> This is going to be a long rambling post, and rather graphic, I've got so much in my head I don't know how to get it all out...
> ...



talk about being self obsessed...


Too much unnecessary detail...


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

3Xnocharm said:


> Really? It sounds to me like she wants another man. Sleepsalone, its not time to level up, sorry. No matter what you do or try to change, you are not going to measure up the man in her head, the one she is fantasizing about...the one who isnt you. Sorry.


Well...that would be true except for one thing, which is she doesn't fantasize about anything or anyone at all. Which is one reason why a lot of the stuff she was suggesting seemed "out of the blue". She's a lousy liar and not at all good at keeping secrets. And she likes confessing. Her weaknesses, shortcomings, past mistakes, etc. so yeah, anyone is capable of having a double life, sure, but it's highly unlikely that is the case here. For example. She never pleasures herself. Never, as n not ever. (I'm not talking about while we're doing it, I'm talking about otherwise...even when I'm out of town, or we've gone a while without it).

But even if you are right...level up won't hurt, and it will help if it ever comes down to the nuclear option.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> talk about being self obsessed...
> 
> 
> Too much unnecessary detail...


Or maybe I just like to write? But thanks, that was helpful.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Never ever turn your woman down!!!!!

(Not talking about a broken relationship with pity sex, ect. If she is interested, and if it is at all possible, make it happen!!!!)


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Decorum said:


> Never ever turn your woman


Can you elaborate why good strategy? And I couldn't tell from your profile, but are you a man or woman? 

I look at it as, if she turns me down whenever she feels like, yet always gets a yes whenever she feels like, who holds all the control in that situation? A little destabilization of control should be a good thing...


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

bandit.45 said:


> Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair....


Not good advice.

I know people who had to be bailed out of jail for doing things like that.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> Can you elaborate why good strategy? And I couldn't tell from your profile, but are you a man or woman?
> 
> I look at it as, if she turns me down whenever she feels like, yet always gets a yes whenever she feels like, who holds all the control in that situation? A little destabilization of control should be a good thing...


Hummm? I'll have to check my profile. I am a male, married to the same woman for 28 years we have four children together (20-27)

Listen it is very weak to do a tit for tat with sex, and it does not establish you as her man. If you want to game her a bit with a strategy then read MMSL, its about keeping your edge as a man and understanding her cycles. 

If you want to build a wall of resentment and doubt and appear weak then turn her down.

You want to be wanted. Do you want to appear needy? Accept that woman are attracted to strength, confidence, leadership and kindness. If you can't pull her that way then all you can do is manipulate her and game her, you will never feel fulfilled.

Listen, distance, and independence play a role in making a relationship good, because connecting and sharing are so much better. No one wants to eat all the time, let some hunger develop sometimes definitely, but outright rejection, never.

Your wife's unique sexual drives at this point in her life are what they are, accept that, you have to work with who she is.

Don't be offended if ovulation makes her horny, biology is what makes men and women different. (stating the obvious I know)

If your sex life cycles like a sinusoidal sine wave that seems fairly normal (ha ha ha a sensual wave).

I honestly read your post and think "What is this guy complaining about", but I wanted to warn you off of rejecting her, it will have the opposite effect.

Maybe this will help, an alpha male does not turn his woman down because he feels unloved, ha ha ha. 

If you have to think in terms of alpha and beta realize that some measure of both are needed in a relationship, don't let someone else tell you what that ratio is.

Sex helps you feel loved it helps her feel desirable, you want to be the guy that rocks her world, just be reasonable in your expectations, and play along some.

I hope that helps and I wish you well. Take care!


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Your writing suggest that there is lack of spontaneity in your sex life. When was the last time you just joined her in the shower, or when your child is not around doing some on the spot "cooking in the kitchen", and on and on. I would go into more detail, but I think you get the message. 

Working out and staying in shape has to be about you not her. But, your sex life (which is what I think this is all about) is about both of you. Two willing partners a dance like a cuban salsa.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

You don't ask someone to bite you and leave your mark with having fantasizing about it first!


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Don't get so caught up in all the alpha, beta BS, because that's what it is. It sounds like she is more interested in an image than you as a real person.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

She wants to be dominated. And little mistreated in the bedroom.

However, she also seems self-centered in her quest.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> Or maybe I just like to write? But thanks, that was helpful.


Of course it wasn't.

You went on a few unrelated rants in the middle. Sometimes the dots connect. Yours didn't. I actually got distracted a few times before I ended it at around 80% into your post. Nothing made sense.


1) People are more likely to read short and to the point posts, hence more posters are likely to respond to your post.

2) You can focus on the issue you want the advise on.

3)Or add a short note at bottom for people not looking to read the whole thing to get the gist of the post.

4) respect the time of the people putting in effort to read your post and type in advise(Not me.). Basic forum etiquette(Ok, me too). How would you feel if the content of 90 % of the posts made to your question were rants about their daily problems with one line about your situation ?


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

I agree with others that she wants to be dominated...and probably would prefer you "take her" as opposed to circling like a needy guy waiting for permission.

It sounds like you are really enamored with your wife and feel like she doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. Oftentimes, when we get worried that our spouse is pulling away that we perform clingy behavior to draw them back.

Don't follow her around like a puppy dog. Start exercising some personal value that starts transmitting to her that you are someone worth investing into as well. The fact that you are doting over her and cued into her...tells her that you are making everything about her and that is probably boring her to tears.

Her suggestions aren't necessarily huge criticisms...I think she isn't quite sure exactly what she is asking for to be honest. But it looks like she gets turned on when you are a man doing man things that she can join you on...where she isn't so much central to the world. You may also have to break yourself from the habit of feeling guilty if your wife isn't being attended to. Make her work hard for you too!!!

My wife would be a dead fish in bed too...and it was really confusing to me I admit. And she secretly wanted sex to be a bit rougher...which was related to her CSA. I don't know your wife, but it sounds like she is turned on more by intensity and less by slow intimacy. But women can also be fickle, so pace yourself when you try to jump her bones...as the change-up might be alarming and freak her out. Just wait for the next chance at sex and try to run the show...for personal gratification and not too cued into her. I'm not suggesting starting a precedent where you ignore her needs, but just up the ante with your aggression a bit, focusing on your primal pleasure and then break off a little when you finish...like you "used" her a little bit. Gauge her reaction. She may get huffy...but it might also tweak her emotions to start thinking differently.


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## leander99 (Feb 23, 2015)

This alfa/beta stuff is utter nonsense.
Invented by overconfident 'alphas' who love feeling superior and by insecure 'betas' who feel they cannot compete with the rest of the world.

Also if you are wearing green glasses, all the world looks green. But take of those green glasses, and you notice a rainbow of colors exist out there in the real world.

In truth there is something better than alpha/beta: being a real man. A real man is more than alpha/beta, in ways the alpha-beta's utterly fail to comprehend. Most importantly a real man does not define himself, by comparing himself to others.

Instead he is his own man, knowing his own strength and weaknesses. And he knows his woman chooses him for who he is. Other men could never compete with that.

From that perspective the alpa/beta believers just seem a bit silly. Most of all they just seem really insecure. Those aplha/beta persons are portraying an imaginary outward persona, because on the inside they dont really know who they are.

So stop comparing yourself to others, learn to be proud of your own successes and your own failures. Because those really define who you are.


*rant mode off*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Remember also that Latin women, especially those raised in a traditional Latin home, expect a more macho, "take charge" behavior from a man than say an Anglo woman would. ...generally speaking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Remember also that Latin women, especially those raised in a traditional Latin home, expect a more macho, "take charge" behavior from a man than say an Anglo woman would. ...generally speaking.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That is a very good point. My wife is Puerto Rican and I can attest to what Bandit is putting out there. My ex is Mexican and she was the same.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair.
> 
> Sounds like she wants you to quit talking and whining and be more assertive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And make sure there isn't someone else doing this for her.

Her interest in turning you to a bad boy physically with beards and tatoos would have me checking for another man in her life on some level that might be a threat to your marriage.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Women of Japanese ancestry expect their man to be a samurai. So look out world as I don my katana before heading out to work:

http://youtu.be/3Ht5y1rX2zk


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## LuvIsTuff (Feb 20, 2015)

You're complaining about something that I would give everything I have to get from my wife. You spoiled ass!!!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Latinas expect the man to lead, support and protect to a higher degree than women from other cultures, whether it is dating or running a home. The idea of Pater Familia still exists, and if you are an Anglo male you may not understand the requirements.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> The weird thing is *this followed on about 5 days of crazy good sex. Like her wanting, initiating, being very active and her very much enjoying it *(which is not merely an opinion, but something I can actually “tell” by available lubrication…).* A couple of those days we went got it on twice in the same day.* I was thinking “Yahoo!! Finally, a second honeymoon!” We made it through a lot of ups and downs and fought through tenaciously to make it for about 6-7 years… and I’m thinking, OMG, thank you! This is what marriage should be like. I am not naïve to believe it’s going to be like that every day…


So all of your angst is because, after 5 days of crazy sex, on the 6th day she was less into it and you couldn't orgasm?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

norajane said:


> So all of your angst is because, after 5 days of crazy sex, on the 6th day she was less into it and you couldn't orgasm?


If I'm reading it correctly, I think the 5 days of crazy sex was something of an anomaly, and the angst is more based on what he perceives to be a one-sidedness to their sexual relationship.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> I'm not wondering whether I'm being beta, alpha or whatever... As the title of post says , I was shocked when I realized my wife's behavior communicated 'beta'...cause in my mind, I'm not. I typed up everything above to clear my head, and maybe who knows, get some useful insight.


However you want to word it, it's beta. Thinking about her thinking you are beta, or thinking about why she thinks you are beta, even if it surprises you because you have never thought about being beta, yet you have broke down all the reasons why she probably considers you beta, in detail (with a very nice list).

That's beta.

Nothing wrong with being beta and being a good provider. During sex, turn it up a notch and stop turning her cycles into a science project.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

I think the OP went back to the body building forum where "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking (and very alpha) and all the children are above average." :rofl:


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> If I'm reading it correctly, I think the 5 days of crazy sex was something of an anomaly, and the angst is more based on what he perceives to be a one-sidedness to their sexual relationship.


Yes multiple days of crazy sex is a TOTAL anomaly. Usually it's my wife making herself available ("willing but not wanting"). I am thankful she is at least willing because many LD spouses are not.

Available 2-3 days a week, then it just stops. Nothing for a week, or 10 days or maybe two weeks...I'm quite sure it would go much longer if I didn't put in a lot of effort to seduce/initiate because there's really no desire on her part. This is especially difficult to deal with it if comes after a "crazy good" sex episode (which seems to happen maybe every 3-4 months). 

I get anxiety with her complete ambivalence to sex, and the not knowing when we'll get together again, or being unable to develop a sexual intimacy that she craves (like I do). 

One of my greatest desire in marriage is that she desires me and desires sex. Weird right? The media/movies/etc tell you most men would be infinitely grateful to just "get off" inside a hot girl. But I think all married men want hot, passionate, loving (and sometimes kinky/animal) sexual intimacy with their best friend.

The angst is from me trying to figure out what I can do to help/fix/change combined with her "alpha male" comments, the sexual episodes I described, and the history of feeling like many times either I'm masturbating inside my wife's vagina and/or she's just masturbating with my penis as a prop. 

My wife has told me she was never much into sex and even in her past relationships while she felt pleasure once getting into it, never really desired sex, but that she used her body for male attention. (Engaged in sex with past boyfriends and me in the beginning of our relationship to gain affection, validation, feeling of protection, etc).

What's so challenging to accept is that in reality she's ambivalent to sex, but is just so frigging great at it and hot (when she's having a rare "fired-up" moment) that the interludes of dull sex or no sex are that much harder to deal with. I think that's a lot of the angst, that when it's good its really really good ("crazy-good")...but I haven't figured out how to not be tormented by the memories of the "crazy-good" sex during the other times. 

I supposed there's some angst because it feels one-sided, but I remind myself I am probably expecting too much too soon. It took a long time to get where we are which is she loves me enough to "be willing" with a good attitude, relatively frequently (by most standards on here) and understands enough of male sex drive to know going too long without release is really hard on a (married) man.


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> Of course it wasn't.
> 
> You went on a few unrelated rants in the middle. Sometimes the dots connect. Yours didn't. I actually got distracted a few times before I ended it at around 80% into your post. Nothing made sense.
> 
> ...


Your comments above are valid, but to be fair, I did warn you in my 3rd sentence which was
"This is going to be a long rambling post, and rather graphic, I've got so much in my head I don't know how to get it all out..."


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Ikaika said:


> Women of Japanese ancestry expect their man to be a samurai. So look out world as I don my katana before heading out to work:
> 
> http://youtu.be/3Ht5y1rX2zk


Latina women expect macho, white women expect vikings or cavemen, native american women expect hunters (not gathers), somoans expect warriors.... it's across the board here fellas. There are Latina women that are independent, the same as white women. However, women generally in every culture like a strong dominant male....because physically we are by nature stronger.

Now on TAM that may be argued, but TAM may just have a lot more independent minded women. Not a bad thing either.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

My affair alarms are going off on this thread....

I hope I am wrong, but it would not hurt to do a cursory check of the boundaries around your marriage and digital traffic.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> Yes multiple days of crazy sex is a TOTAL anomaly. Usually it's my wife making herself available ("willing but not wanting"). I am thankful she is at least willing because many LD spouses are not.
> 
> Available 2-3 days a week, then it just stops. Nothing for a week, or 10 days or maybe two weeks...I'm quite sure it would go much longer if I didn't put in a lot of effort to seduce/initiate because there's really no desire on her part. This is especially difficult to deal with it if comes after a "crazy good" sex episode (which seems to happen maybe every 3-4 months).
> 
> ...


Ok, here's the opinion of some random guy who's never met you or your wife.

Your wife likes macho. Bikes, beards, etc.

If you give this to your wife, she MAY be more into the sex you have.

It likely will not make her want to have sex with you any more than she already does. If you're after better quality sex, it could help. If you're after a woman with a high drive who initiates sex with you--I'll keep a chair open for you at the next frustrated husband meeting.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Coldie said:


> Latina women expect macho, white women expect vikings or cavemen, native american women expect hunters (not gathers), somoans expect warriors.... it's across the board here fellas. There are Latina women that are independent, the same as white women. However, women generally in every culture like a strong dominant male....because physically we are by nature stronger.
> 
> Now on TAM that may be argued, but TAM may just have a lot more independent minded women. Not a bad thing either.



That was my point (in response to the Latina expectation) which obviously failed.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I think this is not just about sex. She is emotionally distancing herself from you. Maybe macho sex would help, maybe not. The pretty girl is getting bored of being adored, and needs change.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Or already has it and is cake eating... Please do your homework OP


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> If you're after a woman with a high drive who initiates sex with you--I'll keep a chair open for you at the next frustrated husband meeting.


HAHAH, Fozzy... that was a good one!


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Or already has it and is cake eating... Please do your homework OP


Thanks for the concern... that's definitely not it. Just not in her wiring to have an affair. She literally gets physically ill at the idea of intimacy with a person she doesn't have a strong emotional bond with... and her wiring wouldn't let her have two of those at a time...

We've spent the past few nights up to three in the morning chatting about our past, how we got started and her feelings. Long story, but she still has a lot of hurt from how we got started-- which was jumping right into sex early before building that emotional connection. Yeah she likes a built/tough guy but just not her nature to fantasize/desire sex with them. Outside of the bedroom for many years I have been a rather unskilled husband in building her up emotionally, combined with hurts from the beginning, mean working backwards to fill in what's missing has been a difficult thing. 

Neither of us have figured out what's up with the rough sex, all we know is sometimes she loves it...

But know that I understand these things about her it's going in the right direction...

...I'm still getting ripped though, just in case :ezpi_wink1:


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Some thoughts:

1. getting in better shape physically is basically always good. 

2. I would not start fighting other guys just because she suggested it. What happens when you get your @ss kicked?

3. I would stop wondering so much what she wants and just start using her like a toy. You will both be happier from the sound of it.

4. I also am getting a vibe that she wants you to adopt a very specific persona. I know you don't think it's possible, but it is specific enough that it probably based on another person (maybe a character on TV, maybe someone in real life). I would check her phone to see if there is anything there. I also would avoid doing anything that seems like you are playing a role for her. Everything you do (even more than normal) should be because you want it. Especially sexual. Put yourself on top for a while and see how you both like it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

First of all, God bless you:



Sleepsalonefl said:


> An aside here: she loves me going down on her, and I'm good at it because I love doing it. Sex is just not done right if you don't go down on your woman. Every time. Period. I am ALWAYS up for going down on her any time
> 
> the natural, scent of a healthy woman...Bring. It. On. (All you dudes who think the above is gross…Sorry, but I think you're a *****).


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

Second of all, your thread title is very misleading. 



Sleepsalonefl said:


> Then it HIT me—her subconscious has labeled me as “beta” while her conscious psyche would never admit to it.


This is what YOU think that she thinks, and you are projecting that onto her.

Why not talk to her?

Also, your post is very long and I was getting confused. So you aren't finishing? Why? Are you lasting too long in her mind?


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

I stopped reading at:



> Really... she's hot. Every dude that posts about his wife or posts a pic thinks his wife is hot... but sorry dudes, 90% of those are not hot, maybe 10% are. She's in the 10%.


This is EXACTLY why you are a beta.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why is it "beta" to think your wife is hot? 

Seriously. What is WRONG with thinking your wife is HOT? I think that's awesome!

And... I also hate all t hat beta, alpha, omega sh*t. It's silly.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Why is it "beta" to think your wife is hot?
> 
> Seriously. What is WRONG with thinking your wife is HOT? I think that's awesome!
> 
> And... I also hate all t hat beta, alpha, omega sh*t. It's silly.



At my age, I'm lucky to register with any of the Greek characters.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You're smart, Ika. You probably know a lot more of them than you let on.

Haha.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> You're smart, Ika. You probably know a lot more of them than you let on.
> 
> Haha.



Always liked the Greek symbol psi (comes just before omega). It looks like King Neptune's scepter. I'm a waterman.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I didn't read the whole thread, nor the entire opening post.

Your wife wants to be dominated. Sexually dominated for sure and possibly dominated in all other areas as well. 

Www.husdom.com (NSFW)
Gentle domination: My "How-To" Guide for Men on How To Dominate a Woman in Bed  : sex

From these two I'm sure you can find more resources.

Also, women get bored easier than men. It's why we change purses with various outfits, why we get new hair do and even hair color every other year or so, why we want to redecorate and switch things up. A wise husband will occasionally step outside of his tried and true pattern of grooming and do something entirely different.

I don't think your assumption that your wife thinks you're a beta is true at all. I think she just wants more dominance from you. The thing with saying "I'm not putting this in my mouth" when previously she would...that was a challenge to you to make her do it.

You need to find out what books your wife is reading and read them yourself.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Next time she smarts off punish her like the naughty girl she is. Slap her ass. Throw her around the bed a little. Grab her by the hair.
> 
> Sounds like she wants you to quit talking and whining and be more assertive.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Yeppers. It sounds to me she was dropping the idea she wants some "special" treatment. And, her foreplay may not be the same definition as your foreplay. Simply take her next time. Don't ask. Don't drop a hint. Give her what she wants...rough, unbridled, uninhibited, mark leaving sex.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I don't think your assumption that your wife thinks you're a beta is true at all. I think she just wants more dominance from you. The thing with saying "I'm not putting this in my mouth" when previously she would...that was a challenge to you to make her do it.


:iagree:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yeswecan said:


> Yeppers. It sounds to me she was dropping the idea she wants some "special" treatment. And, her foreplay may not be the same definition as your foreplay. Simply take her next time. Don't ask. Don't drop a hint. Give her what she wants...rough, unbridled, uninhibited, mark leaving sex.


Totally agree with one caveat. Make sure you bring her off too, many times. Don't just pump and run.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Totally agree with one caveat. Make sure you bring her off too, many times. Don't just pump and run.


Absolutely.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Sleepsalonefl said:


> Thanks for the concern... You are welcome that's definitely not it. I hope you are right Just not in her wiring to have an affair. She literally gets physically ill at the idea of intimacy with a person she doesn't have a strong emotional bond with...Who says she wouldn't have a strong emotional bond with an affair partner... many times there IS a strong emotional connection and her wiring wouldn't let her have two of those at a time... Good... I hope you are right, are you two feeling deeply connected or is there distance there?
> 
> We've spent the past few nights up to three in the morning chatting about our past,good how we got started and her feelings. Long story, but she still has *a lot of hurt* from how we got started-- which was jumping right into sex early before building that emotional connection unresolved regret - I would really support her through that to get it to resolved status - and just so you are aware, this kind of talk "pains that go all the way back to the beginning" can be an indicator of someone in affair fog already starting to rewrite history... just be careful and again do your homework. Yeah she likes a built/tough guy but just not her nature to fantasize/desire sex with them?????? how could she not if its what she likes. Outside of the bedroom for many years I have been a rather unskilled husband in building her up emotionally, combined with hurts from the beginning, mean working backwards to fill in what's missing has been a difficult thing. Good
> 
> ...


Just do a double check on digital sources if you haven't already. You _almost_ sound like you are in denial, but I will take your word for it and just encourage you to at least look. Its great you guys are talking and can build the relationship. 

Hoping the best for you!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Oh god. Woman doesn't want sex, means she's getting it elsewhere. Woman wants freaky sex, means that she's getting freaky elsewhere.


So so tired of this.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

I told the OP to do a cursory check because there are some concerning spots in this story outside of no sex or freaky sex.

Nothing wrong with telling a fisherman to check his nets.

I'm not one to encourage that on a whim.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Blossom Leigh said:


> I told the OP to do a cursory check because there are some concerning spots in this story outside of no sex or freaky sex.
> 
> Nothing wrong with telling a fisherman to check his nets.
> 
> *I'm not one to encourage that on a whim*.


Yes, actually you are and you have made threads stating exactly that.

Look blossom, I don't want to argue with you. You have your opinion and I have mine.

I think I'd be pretty damn angry if my H spied on me instead of taking my hint to rag doll me!


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Yes, actually you are and you have made threads stating exactly that.
> 
> Look blossom, I don't want to argue with you. You have your opinion and I have mine.
> 
> I think I'd be pretty damn angry if my H spied on me instead of taking my hint to rag doll me!


Um, no I haven't made threads on that. At least not to my memory. Is there a particular thread you have in mind?

And, no I go to many threads where I make no such suggestion where sex is involved.

ETA: I just checked out the last 70 threads I've been involved with and there are only THREE where I mentioned possible affair or one coming...

Findingapath
Skillednhopeful
frankman

Of those three, three were in an affair that came out eventually. Two are headed for divorce and one is pursuing reconcilliation. Two were women and one man, so my subscriptions do not bear out your claim Anon.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Why is it "beta" to think your wife is hot?
> 
> Seriously. What is WRONG with thinking your wife is HOT? I think that's awesome!
> 
> And... I also hate all t hat beta, alpha, omega sh*t. It's silly.


Because alpha don't care............babe


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## husDOM (Feb 24, 2014)

> Also, women get bored easier than men. It's why we change purses with various outfits, why we get new hair do and even hair color every other year or so, why we want to redecorate and switch things up. A wise husband will occasionally step outside of his tried and true pattern of grooming and do something entirely different.


Anon Pink,

The key for the man is to notice these subtle changes and to acknowledge that he in fact notices them...

And your statement of a man's grooming and its need to change is also very true. lk and I began our journey a few years ago and ever since I have made many changes, for the better I believe, in my own grooming. I began to notice all of the little things that lk was doing for me and wanted her to feel special as well by my efforts to please her.

Again, I find myself truly humbled by the mention of my website...

Best wishes,

Mr Fox


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I don't think your assumption that your wife thinks you're a beta is true at all. I think she just wants more dominance from you. The thing with saying "I'm not putting this in my mouth" when previously she would...*that was a challenge to you to make her do it.*


Completely agree. It was a challenge for you to assert yourself, take charge, and MAKE her take it in her mouth. Unfortunately, you failed her "test." I agree with Anon. She wants you to be more dominant. If I had made that statement to my very Alpha, Harley-riding SO  he would have seen it as a challenge (not analyzed it) and you can bet that thing would have ended up in my mouth! All in a good way, of course.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

husDOM said:


> Anon Pink,
> 
> The key for the man is to notice these subtle changes and to acknowledge that he in fact notices them...
> 
> ...



Greetings Mr Fox!

I do wish you had time to stick around here at TAM. Your contribution would be invaluable in many threads here. 

Posting a link to your website is like shining the Bat Light in Gotham City? 

Www.husdom.com

Calling Mr. Fox, calling Mr Fox, come in Mr. Fox?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

MarriedDude said:


> Because alpha don't care............babe


That's a good way to lose his woman.


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## husDOM (Feb 24, 2014)

Anon Pink,

I am truly rolling on the floor at the 'calling Mr Fox' statement...

You should be careful with what you ask for as it may come true... 

Best wishes,

Mr Fox


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

husDOM said:


> Anon Pink,
> 
> I am truly rolling on the floor at the 'calling Mr Fox' statement...
> 
> ...




ray: 

Mr Pink is pretty damn good at answering those requests thanks to your website.

:smthumbup:

As I've said, your contribution here would be highly valuable.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Why is it "beta" to think your wife is hot?
> 
> Seriously. What is WRONG with thinking your wife is HOT? I think that's awesome!
> 
> And... I also hate all t hat beta, alpha, omega sh*t. It's silly.


Reread what I quoted and that whole paragraph. This guy is clearly 'putting the p*ssy on the pedestal' which is why he thinks he's a beta. 

I agree; it's nothing to call your wife hot but read the added material before you comment. Do your eyes only pick up on one word out of a whole paragraph?


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

husDOM said:


> Anon Pink,
> 
> I am truly rolling on the floor at the 'calling Mr Fox' statement...
> 
> ...


I second the wish that you'd stick around, Mr. Fox. My husband and I leaned on your website quite a bit in the beginning.


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## husDOM (Feb 24, 2014)

GettingIt,

Humbled again...

I am elated that our communities have been beneficial to both you and your husband.

I have not had much opportunity to venture outside of husDOM but I will make an effort to participate here in the future.

Best wishes,

Mr Fox


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Ditch the stupid rubber. 

Grow up and get cut. Until then, you surely know how to get a rubber off, and put your jones somewhere to get off without causing pregnancy. 

Really, her "I'm not putting that in my mouth" thing is so obviously an invitation, I can't believe you'd not realize. She wants you to get her off, then use her to get yourself off. May sound crass, but, come on.


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