# Reconciliation101ForANewbie



## ConfusedInMichigan (Oct 27, 2012)

So I think I'm in the beginning stages of a legitimate reconciliation (fingers crossed). Ex-wife agreed to go to counseling. I posted in another thread, but what essentially happened was we were going round and round occasionally hanging out and I finally said enough was enough. I told her that either we went to counseling or we were out of eachother's lives. She immediately scheduled counseling for us. I guess I called her bluff?

Anyway, since then she has sent me friendly texts. We went on a date and had a really good time. She flirted with me (which never did during dates before). 

Here is my question for those of you that have reconciled. Our personalities are different. I am more prone to "talk things out" and she is more prone to seclude herself. Currently I am concerned by her lack of calls/texts. I know we just went on a date the other night, but part of me thinks she needs to be "head over heels" for me like she was the first time and call me non-stop. Party of me understands this is a new/strained time for both of us and I shouldn't expect her to like she was (we aren't going to counseling till tomorrow).

Am I being unrealistic thinking she should be like she was when we first met? My heart tells me I should be patient, that we have different styles of communication, but part of me is afraid of losing her again.


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

Confused. I know this can be a confusing time for you, but you need her to make all the moves. Don't pressurise her at all, at least she is going to counselling with you! She probably will never be the one you fell in love with, but this is a good thing! I used to think that's what I'd like to see for my husband, but my counsellor says that I want a better relationship with my spouse not go back to the way things were. Use this time to grow in yourself as I have been doing. I've been doing a lot of thinking and starting to realise all my faults and trying to put these right. Only then can a marriage be Reconcilled and you will both be better people for these changes. The marriage will need a lot of work on it, but it will be stronger  Good luck


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