# What's my future like?



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

When I look back at my teen years, 20s and now 30s, it seems like there are different stages of life and relationship we all go through.

There are SO many lessons I've learned during these years and I know I'm still climbing the mountain (hoping not on top just yet)

I'm just curious to know what's ahead of me when it comes to individual/male perspective and also what's ahead in my marriage as well? 

What have you guys went through in the 40s/50s and even 60s on both or these levels?

Thanks in advance!


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

38 here. feeling similar thoughts lately.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

There are several challanges.

Health/weigh gain is one. It can rob of sexual desire or wanting to go out. It is important to try and maintain some semblence of HWP. 

Also, usually in the late 40's to early 50's sex starts to become less of the bedrock of the relationship. Good communication here is the key. My best friend has developed severe ED and he refuses to talk to his wife about it, or just dismisses it. Granted he is nearly 60, but she has been very hurt by it all. Not right.

Another challange is that you may need to develop new interests together. Be open for this and be willing to try new things together.

One thing that remains the same. Communication. No matter how long people have been together, talk to each other and take a genuine interest in how the other is doing- on a daily basis.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

DoF said:


> When I look back at my teen years, 20s and now 30s, it seems like there are different stages of life and relationship we all go through.
> 
> There are SO many lessons I've learned during these years and I know I'm still climbing the mountain (hoping not on top just yet)
> 
> ...


This is an interesting topic to me and I must admit that I'm learning as I go but I think things get a bit easier and better as you go along. 

Each life stage has its pluses and minuses but for the most part, I'm the most content now when compared to any other time in my life.

Financially, things are stable and I've long since given up on being wealthy so there's that. I have what I need and can get some of what I want, which I think is a good thing. I have a nice house at the beach and two cars that are paid for so there isn't much more in life that I really need.

From a personal growth perspective, I really like the stage of life that I'm in. At 52 years old, I know what I'm capable of and what I'm not so good at. I know my positive attributes and my flaws and I'm okay with it. There's a certain perspective that comes along with some age and maturity that is comforting. I really know myself now when compared to say 20 years ago. I'm more accepting of who and what I am and I'm totally at peace with it. 

As for the relationship front, things are even better there IMO. I've been married for 28 years now and our relationship is really good. We're best friends and I certainly couldn't have said that 15 years ago. My W and I really work at trying to cultivate common interests. Aside from our three kids, we've found some things that both of us really enjoy doing together. That's been huge in us getting even closer over the years.

Our kids are much older now. My daughter, my oldest, is now married off. My middle child is entering high school and my youngest is now in middle school, so that gives us more freedom and relieves a ton of stress. As you are likely aware, having small children, particularly more than one, puts tremendous stress on a marriage. When the kids get older, it's much, much easier. As you enter your 40s, you should likely be at that place with older children.

My W and I actually have some real time for just us, which is a very welcome change in our relationship. Our sex life is still passionate and frequent, which I know may not be the norm for many people who've been married 20+ years but it's been that way for us. 

We both exercise a ton though and both really work at looking good for one another. I've always been that way and have done strength training at the gym for 37 years now. It keeps your testosterone levels higher and makes you look and feel good too. To me, age is just a number if you're still strong and fit.

Honestly, I don't see a lot of downside to the late 40s or early 50s stage of my life. Admittedly, I don't care for not being able to see a damned thing without reading glasses but I suppose I can live with that. I've not had any health issues to speak of though so I'm sure if/when that happens in the coming years, I may change my tune but for now, all is well.


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## Sunburn (Jul 9, 2012)

50 now

It seemed like every decade is different or maybe I'm just conditioned that way.

At 40: Physically the metabolism went to crap and everything I had broken or dislocated in the previous 40 years said, "Hey! Remember me? Comin' back to haunt ya now!" It was very important for me to get back into the gym and keep my strength and flexibility up. Mentally it was a time of a lot of reflection. Had retired from the military and done a lot of ****. Kids were grown and gone. Time to take stock and keep movin'.

At 50: Physically you lose it faster. Even more important to stay active, in the gym and don't sit on your ass all day. I can do 120 pushups, 30 pull ups, squat 120 pounds X 100 and I walk 2 miles a day over a good interval of hills and flats. Mentally........."don't sweat the small stuff" has never been more meaningful.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Thanks for your posts!! keep them coming!


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

You will continue to feel that you really didn't get smart until about 5 years ago for the rest of your life.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

time for a harley!!!!!!!!!!!! lol


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> time for a harley!!!!!!!!!!!! lol


No bikes for me.....EVER, but thanks

Now Corvette on the other hand, would've loved it 10 years ago and will love it any time in the future. It will happen.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Forest said:


> You will continue to feel that you really didn't get smart until about 5 years ago for the rest of your life.


hehe


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## Fun_One (May 28, 2014)

In our 40s. 

- the sex has been better than ever. 
- I've always been fit so that's not a problem. 
- The kids are older, so there's more 1-1 time like when we were first married.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Forties were much like thirties. I didn't notice much of a difference except that I developed acid reflux about midway through.

Fifties were bittersweet. The children left one by one. All three went in separate directions and moved far away. Aunts, Uncles and other people I cared about started passing away in numbers. 

Many of us hit bumps in our careers in our fifties, but if you're properly prepared for that eventuality, it's not a big screaming deal. (Age discrimination in the workplace is very much alive and well.)

Sixties, I've only just begun. My wife and I are alone again and enjoying our time together.


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