# I need some advice



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Come the end of June I'm assuming my H will be filing. He left end of July last year; law here is 12 months. We've not talked much about his "plan" other than him telling me once months ago that it's none of my business. We don't have a formal separation agreement, just an informal split of all the bills. We both basically pay half of the bills...well, I know I pay more out each month as I have both kids living with me so inevitably I will have incidentals to pay...does "Mom, can I have money for lunch" ring true with anyone? Anyway, my strategy thus far has been to take a hands-off approach since the separation/divorce was his idea. From the beginning, he's wanted to do this lawyer-less as neither of us have the money to hire one. I've also figured that because this is his wish (to divorce) that I would let him do the leg work and put together the separation agreement/divorce agreement. 

My question to you is, should I approach him again and ask him what the plan is or just wait to see if he files next month. I would like to know in advance how he plans on doing this, what type of support he has in mind to give. Right now he is paying the mortgage/second/kids phone bills and also pays for some extras for them.The kids and I live in the house, he's living rent free with a relative. We have nothing to split other than the house which he says he would like me to put in my name and wants no part of the proceeds when I choose to sell it. He wants me to stay here until youngest graduates from high school. Oldest is in college so I'm not sure what type of support he is required to pay for her, if any.

My hope, like alot of you, is that we can reconcile so I don't want to push him, I just want to know what our future holds. 

Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, dear. Well, of course he wants to stay lawyerless. I would recommend that you at least have one consultation with a lawyer to make sure that you are not getting screwed in the settlement.

Sorry, hon. Hard times.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

I agree with lamaga, at least see one lawyer. I just went to see if I qualified for legal aid (I didn't) but I learned a lot from the woman in the office even if she isn't a lawyer. I was given tons of info. Also found out that if we can't agree on the custody arrangement that the courts will make us attend a mandatory 2 day course called "for the sake of the children". I registered for it, first half is at the end of may.

I also discovered something called "undue hardship".. where a spouse can pretty much cry "not fair" with the financial agreements.. so much to take in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

He's controlling all of this and you're just letting get away with it because you don't want to lose him. I hate to break it to you but these plans to D around the kids gradution are usually planned out years in advance. Could be to leave you for an affair or "better life" without child support, doesn't matter, but what does is him taking care of his family willingly or by force. You need to lawyer up and file first! 

Do the 180 and agree with him to a T making sure to not chase him or pry into his world either, so you'll stop fighting over stupid stuff. If anything beat him down to the court house and serve him papers at his relatives house with a smile on your face and contempt for him.


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