# If Your Wife Allowed You To...



## Fence

...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?

And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.

This question originated as a discussion between my girlfriend and I, and now curious what other men in marriages or committed relationships would answer.


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## desperateguy

Fence said:


> no consequences to your marriage


The question here is: no direct consequences? Or no consequences at all? Outside the realms of fantasy, an act like that will ALWAYS have consequences, even if they are indirect. The consequences might be positive (eg you learn a new love making technique you can then use to pleasure your wife more), but they would still be there.


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## chillymorn

LOL this is not a conversation to have with your girl friend/future husband/wife............unless your answer is going to be I would never even think about that because I'm with the most beautiful sexy woman on the freaking planet now come over you sexy thing and rock my world!!!!!!!!!!!


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## F-102

If my W asked me this, I'd ask her: "Are you going to stay in the U.S., or go back to your country after the divorce?"


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## dubbizle

You must have seen the movie hall pass.I also think this is the kind of question you have with you girlfriend why not.

I think it would be difficult,because of the inner guilt even though there are no consequences,so that could lead to some performance anxiety.
I think I would go for it and it would be exciting to be with somebody that has a different style in the bedroom and might be into different things,the issue I have is I am jealous so I could not handle my wife doing it so I guess that would stop it for both of us right there.I have never cheated in my marriage


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## Kobo

Na. First, I love my wife and there's a reason why I married her and did not stay single. Second, it sounds way too much like a trap. Third, if this is only for a week then it would have to be a one night stand or multiple ONSs. Meaning no time for testing and the possibility that I might stick my penis in crazy. Too risky for me.


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## frustr8dhubby

In the absence of there being any remote chance of this actually happening, I am going to say yes, I would. Of course much of that is driven by the fact that my wife has zero drive nor interest in me...


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## 7737

If the marriage was a happy and fulfilling marriage in every way, especially sexually for both, then I would sincerely hope the answer from both parties would be NO WAY!

However, if the marriage was a sexless one then I am quite sure the HD spouse (husband or wife) would jump at the idea.


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## CandieGirl

Fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?
> 
> And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.
> 
> This question originated as a discussion between *my girlfriend *and I, and now curious what other men in marriages or committed relationships would answer.


Ask again when you're married. This is single person behaviour.


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## Almostrecovered

this idea sounds like this could be the makings of a bad movie

oh wait!! they did it already!


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## Beowulf

I discovered a long time ago that I am someone who cannot separate love from sex very easily. So to answer your question...even if there were no consequences as far as my wife was concerned I would still have self imposed consequences that would damage me immeasurably. Unless someone could impose a mild case of amnesia in which case why would I have sex if I couldn't bloody remember it.


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## 7737

Please forgive me, but you are all being very righteous. If only life was so clear cut.

I'm going to put my head above the parapet... If my wife made me the same offer, I'd take it and I'd make the most of it and have a heck of a week!

Why? Because I am in a sexless marriage and I have two children aged 10 and 12. We are expats living outside of our 'home' country. If I divorced my wife she would take the children and I might get to see them once or twice a year. So I 'live' in a sexless marriage because my children mean so much to me.

I know I am not alone. There are many husbands (and wives) out there who 'stay' because of the children.

Thats why I would make the most of my week. I am a male and I have a pulse.


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## that_girl

But you're in a sexless marriage. Not everyone is.

If my husband said I could have a week off...i wouldn't go screw anyone. I loooove sex with my husband and it's fulfilling for us both.

However, I would go away to get away from the kids and cleaning and cooking. That woudl last for maybe a day. Then I'd miss him and want to come home


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## Mistys dad

I'd rather just go fishing for a week.

Sex is easy, but getting a good solid week of fishing in has been hard the last couple of years.


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## Kobo

7737 said:


> Please forgive me, but you are all being very righteous. If only life was so clear cut.
> 
> I'm going to put my head above the parapet... If my wife made me the same offer, I'd take it and I'd make the most of it and have a heck of a week!
> 
> Why? Because I am in a sexless marriage and I have two children aged 10 and 12. We are expats living outside of our 'home' country. If I divorced my wife she would take the children and I might get to see them once or twice a year. So I 'live' in a sexless marriage because my children mean so much to me.
> 
> I know I am not alone. There are many husbands (and wives) out there who 'stay' because of the children.
> 
> Thats why I would make the most of my week. I am a male and I have a pulse.



And you are being foolish to think that every action doesn't have a consequence. These children you are staying for will know about dad's week away each year. Is that the life lessen you want to teach them? Will you be upset when they do find out and your wife says she allowed you to do that because that was the only way you would stay. I'm guessing you love your wife. Do you think having sex with a stranger is going to compare and be anything more than one step above masturbation? Is that really worth it?


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## CandieGirl

7737 said:


> Please forgive me, but you are all being very righteous. If only life was so clear cut.
> 
> I'm going to put my head above the parapet... If my wife made me the same offer, I'd take it and I'd make the most of it and have a heck of a week!
> 
> Why? Because I am in a sexless marriage and I have two children aged 10 and 12. We are expats living outside of our 'home' country. If I divorced my wife she would take the children and I might get to see them once or twice a year. So I 'live' in a sexless marriage because my children mean so much to me.
> 
> I know I am not alone. There are many husbands (and wives) out there who 'stay' because of the children.
> 
> Thats why I would make the most of my week. I am a male and I have a pulse.


Make the most of your week, then, and realize that you'd still be living what most of us consider a sexless life. Even if you did it everyday, twice, it would equate to about once a month, if you average it out over the year. If you did it 4 times a day, whooppeeee!!! Twice a month on average...!


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## strugglinghusband

Fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?
> 
> And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.
> 
> This question originated as a discussion between my girlfriend and I, and now curious what other men in marriages or committed relationships would answer.


If my wife asked me that, My answer would be, " ok were taking a break from the marriage, So where we going to meet up?, So I can pretend were single and I can work my magic and pick you up" (Fantasy).... any thing other than that...NO WAY!


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## Runs like Dog

there's no such thing as free lunch.


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## CH

I get 2 months out of the year like this when the wife takes the kids to visit her parents during the summer. My wife has stated as long as you don't tell me then I don't care.

But I have never done anything because I'm just too old and lazy to chase girls anymore, lol. J/K, I've learned my lesson already and it's a good time to catch up with old friends during those 2 months. And I miss my kids too much anyways, oh yeah I miss the wife also :rofl:


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## 67flh

my luck i would hook up with some damn tranny.


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## tacoma

Fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?


No, because that`s simply not possible.
There will be consequences in some form or other.

It`s going to happen, maybe they`ll be consequences I can live with even enjoy BUT I have no guarantee of that and it`s damn unlikely.

So here as always, I`m betting with the odds.


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## tacoma

67flh said:


> my luck i would hook up with some damn tranny.


SEE!!???

I told YOU!!

Always consequences!


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## Entropy3000

Fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?
> 
> And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.
> 
> This question originated as a discussion between my girlfriend and I, and now curious what other men in marriages or committed relationships would answer.


No. I don't long to act single. I don't need a break from my marriage. If I had a wife that was willing to let me do this I would not want to be married to her.

Why would she want me to do that? If she really loved me she would not be for this.

But I do think there is a culture of whatever happens here stays here with some folks. Not for me.


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## Entropy3000

7737 said:


> Please forgive me, but you are all being very righteous. If only life was so clear cut.
> 
> I'm going to put my head above the parapet... If my wife made me the same offer, I'd take it and I'd make the most of it and have a heck of a week!
> 
> Why? Because I am in a sexless marriage and I have two children aged 10 and 12. We are expats living outside of our 'home' country. If I divorced my wife she would take the children and I might get to see them once or twice a year. So I 'live' in a sexless marriage because my children mean so much to me.
> 
> I know I am not alone. There are many husbands (and wives) out there who 'stay' because of the children.
> 
> Thats why I would make the most of my week. I am a male and I have a pulse.


I don't think people are being self righteous. I think they are being honest. 

I would not live in a sexless marriage. A week a year is demaning to me then. I don't believe in open marriages. They are not for me. But neither is a sexless marriage. No sex equals no marriage.


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## Freak On a Leash

Fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?
> 
> And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.


I've taken a lot of week long vacations apart from my husband over the years and had a great time but even now, with my sex life not as great or fulfilling as I'd like it to be, I wouldn't take up the offer of having sex with someone else. 

If I felt the need to do that, I'd end the marriage first. What's the point of being married if you can't remain faithful to it?


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## In_The_Wind

No I love and care about my wife I like the emotional connection more so than just sex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fence

Interesting answers, so much to respond to. (And ChillyMorn, if that answer is honest, then that's an incredible marriage; if it's not, then wouldn't that be lying--and a form of cheating?)

It also seems like most of the people who said "no" (with the exception of Dean, Struggling Husband, and a few others), did so because of fear of consequences--whether from her or their own guilt.

The question came about not from Hall Pass (and noted from this thread not to see it evidently), but from us discussing that it seems most men can separate love and sex much easier than most women can. In other words, most men can have casual sex with someone else while still loving their wife. However, they don't because it would hurt their wives, so what would happen if hypothetically it wouldn't hurt their wife.

And, personally, because, and maybe this is for a separate thread, as the relationship moves toward marriage, some fears are coming up that I've been honestly discussing with her The primary one being that it is difficult to imagine only having sex with one person for the next fifty years (or, it seems from some of the responses here, at some point, not even having sex with that person for long stretches).


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## Stonewall

Not a chance! Its just not who I am. I am loyal to a fault. I am a one woman man period.


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## sinnister

I'm exactly where 7737 is except that my children are younger.

I know what he's talking about and it's not as easy as you guys are making it out to be. I live for my girls and I will never leave them, even though my intimate life is in the toilet.


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## Lionelhutz

Oddly if my marriage was great, I could look at this question as pure fun and say sure without too much thought. It's not going to happen and its a fantasy, why wreck a perfectly good fantasy. But I didn't have the slightest temptation to cheat when things were good.

But in a sexless if my wife were to give me that option it would kind of be the straw that broke the camel's back. I would really have to wonder if it might be better if I just extended my weeks vacation from the marriage indefinitely.


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## kc8

chillymorn said:


> LOL this is not a conversation to have with your girl friend/future husband/wife............unless your answer is going to be I would never even think about that because I'm with the most beautiful sexy woman on the freaking planet now come over you sexy thing and rock my world!!!!!!!!!!!


Now at least someone gets how to talk to a woman!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SprucHub

Generally, the answer would be no, sex outside marriage is too complicated and of little value (essentially masturbating). But, if Jessica Biel was similarly available . . .


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## Enchantment

Fence said:


> Interesting answers, so much to respond to. (And ChillyMorn, if that answer is honest, then that's an incredible marriage; if it's not, then wouldn't that be lying--and a form of cheating?)
> 
> It also seems like most of the people who said "no" (with the exception of Dean, Struggling Husband, and a few others), did so because of fear of consequences--whether from her or their own guilt.
> 
> The question came about not from Hall Pass (and noted from this thread not to see it evidently), but from us discussing that it seems most men can separate love and sex much easier than most women can. In other words, most men can have casual sex with someone else while still loving their wife. However, they don't because it would hurt their wives, so what would happen if hypothetically it wouldn't hurt their wife.
> 
> And, personally, because, and maybe this is for a separate thread, as the relationship moves toward marriage, some fears are coming up that I've been honestly discussing with her The primary one being that it is difficult to imagine only having sex with one person for the next fifty years (or, it seems from some of the responses here, at some point, not even having sex with that person for long stretches).


What would you feel like if the roles were reversed? If she was the one who had a hall pass for a week every year.

When you get down to it, the bare essence is that both men and women want to be desired and loved by their partners ABOVE ALL OTHERS.

Both men and women want the same basic thing, even if the way we go about expressing it is different. At the core, our basic need and desire is the same, and we are not that different after all.


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## Tall Average Guy

Beowulf said:


> I discovered a long time ago that I am someone who cannot separate love from sex very easily. So to answer your question...even if there were no consequences as far as my wife was concerned I would still have self imposed consequences that would damage me immeasurably. Unless someone could impose a mild case of amnesia in which case why would I have sex if I couldn't bloody remember it.


As I have thought about this issue, I have come to the realization that this is now me as well (heck, it may always have been me). Sex and love are to intertwined. At this point, sex is me and my wife. I don't want to have one without the other.


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## Jeff74

I am in a sexless marriage but have a low sex drive so I personally wouldn't do it.not because I would have moral qualms with it but rather just because I wouldn't have much of an interest in it.

In a hypothetical world with hypothetically no consequences, I would bet a fair number of people would do it though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LovesHerMan

For me, sex is not entertainment or selfish pleasure, but a way to bond with my husband. I agree with Dean that if you are having these thoughts, you are not ready to be married.


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## F-102

To the OP, Fence.

Is it possible that this was a s**t test?, i.e., "God help you if you give the wrong answer?"


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## Entropy3000

Fence said:


> Interesting answers, so much to respond to. (And ChillyMorn, if that answer is honest, then that's an incredible marriage; if it's not, then wouldn't that be lying--and a form of cheating?)
> 
> It also seems like most of the people who said "no" (with the exception of Dean, Struggling Husband, and a few others), did so because of fear of consequences--whether from her or their own guilt.
> 
> The question came about not from Hall Pass (and noted from this thread not to see it evidently), but from us discussing that it seems most men can separate love and sex much easier than most women can. In other words, most men can have casual sex with someone else while still loving their wife. However, they don't because it would hurt their wives, so what would happen if hypothetically it wouldn't hurt their wife.
> 
> And, personally, because, and maybe this is for a separate thread, as the relationship moves toward marriage, some fears are coming up that I've been honestly discussing with her The primary one being that it is difficult to imagine only having sex with one person for the next fifty years (or, it seems from some of the responses here, at some point, not even having sex with that person for long stretches).


So you feel in some way inferior so your own sense of self worth indicates that others must be liars.

Folks do not agree with you and you have trouble accepting this information so you result to insulting people. Not all men look in the mirror in the morning and see a d!ckhead. YMMV. Some folks are comfortable in their own skin and can make value judgements as they have much experience in life to draw from.


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## AFEH

“*If Your Wife Allowed You To ...*” most definitely starting off on the wrong foot with that type of predicate to your actions and behaviour.



As a Man let your own sense of morality and conscience be your guide. Be the type of Man you want to be, not the type of Man someone else allows you to be.


As soon as you put the “Someone else allowed me to/said I could” in your thoughts you give yourself excuses for your own bad behaviour. Very much in the same way a child would.


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## Thor

The scenario is pure fantasy, with zero consequences. Given those initial conditions, my answer is hell yes.

Now in reality the answer is no, because there are consequences. I do enjoy sex with my wife, and it is an emotional bonding as much as it is a physical pleasure.

But in the fantasy world yes I would take advantage. I would have no guilt (in the fantasy scenario of no consequences), and there would be no issues on her side. We got married young and I have only ever had sex with my wife. She had several other partners before me. So yes there is some psychological baggage there for me. I am curious what it would be like to be with other women just for fun. I would like to have some variety of experiences beyond what my wife and I have done. Just usual experiences which I have not had, and which she is not interested in. Some things she had done with others, so there is the baggage again. Other things she just isn't into and I would like to try.

Reality just doesn't work like that, though. At least not for us. I do know one guy with a hall pass, and it works for them.


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## Accipiter777

fence said:


> ...for one week each year, take a week vacation from the marriage, and be intimate with or have sex with other women--with no consequences to your marriage, no judgment, and no questions asked--would you do it?
> 
> And obviously, explain your answer in a sentence or two.
> 
> This question originated as a discussion between my girlfriend and i, and now curious what other men in marriages or committed relationships would answer.


no way.


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## leelo

I've told my wife, when we were dating and even after we got married that I'm a heterosexual guy and I want to have sex with every woman I see. She's gonna catch me ogling other women. But I made a promise to her to be faithful to her. I will not choose to act on that desire because I love my wife and I made a promise to her. If she told me that I had permission to break that promise one week each year, I would refuse for three reasons:

1) there would be consequences. It's fun to fantasize about it, but there would definitely be consequences.
2) i made a promise and I don't like to break my promises even when given permission to do so.
3) The real reason: assuming I were lucky enough to meet some hot young thang that was eager to rock my world, and assuming that she did, I wouldn't want to come back to the marriage with that knowledge and experience and then have to think lesser of my wife.


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## OhGeesh

(flamesuit on) 

Stupid question!! But if we assume there were no vows and no religious undertones and all that bologna was gone it boils down to being alive, finding the opposite sex attractive, and a urge of something new. 


My question would be why wouldn't you? So, of course I would, but seeing that the question is BS and there are religious undertones, vows, kids, consequences it almost impossible to answer without thinking of one of them. If you truly could strip everything away it would no different than your wife giving you "20K and saying go by that motorcycle you always wanted"

Who doesn't like sex? Who doesn't like variety of anything? What's the next question: If you could fly would you??????????/


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## phantomfan

Yeah for me also sounds like a movie. I don't want my wife to be with anyone else and I sure as hell don't want that either. Never got the threesome with two women crossed off my list and I gladly retired that one without hesitation.


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## sirdano

Nope. Now if I could change a couple of things in what you said. Like take a vacation by myself once a year and do anything I want. Then YES. 
Taking a break does not mean humping everthing out there. Heck I might want to go see Pearl Harbor or go to an Iron Maiden consert in a different town. Now that would be cool


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## isla~mama

Assuming the genders could be reversed... there is no way I could do this, not because of any moral highground, but because it would be torturous and depressing to only have sex one week out of the year! Even prisoners get more sex than that. If he would let me have one week a month I might contemplate it .

If we had a healthy sexual relationship it would be a different situation altogether, I wouldn't even consider it... funny how everything is relative.


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## Trickster

strugglinghusband said:


> If my wife asked me that, My answer would be, " ok were taking a break from the marriage, So where we going to meet up?, So I can pretend were single and I can work my magic and pick you up" (Fantasy).... any thing other than that...NO WAY!


We actually did that many years ago. We went to a club and walked in a few minutes apart. We both danced with other people. I think I danced with more women than she danced with men. Great for my ego... Then I asked her/my wife to dance and we soon had a lot of PDa...then we left together. I know people were watching us, even the lady's I was dancing with .

After 19+ years I would like to sample another women without cheating, as long as I wouldn't come in contact with that person ever again. I would be afraid of STD. I can dream though. 

I don't know if I would bring the subject up to my wife!


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## 4sakenallothers

Im not a man but I would definitely take the hall pass/ week off. But I wouldnt sleep with another man.


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## Trickster

This story kinda relates...

I couple my wife and I know were about to get seperate. Neither wanted to leave the kids. No cheating at that time. To make a long story short, they decided to have an "open" relationship. They had their rules.

They each "dated" other people. Don't think the children knew anything. Now. 5 years or so later, They don't date other people as much (that I am aware of) They seem happier than they were 5 years ago and They have more PDA when they are around. PG related things. I know this case is so unusual. I think they ealized that the grass is not greener on the other side. They were about to divorce before all this started. It may not apply to a "healthy" relationship.


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## Catherine602

I wonder why the OP assumes that the man would be the only one wanting to taste the delights of new partners? Do people still think that men are the only ones who like variety? The only ones who think of what it would be like to have someone new. Women are subject to the same temptations as men. Suprise suprise. Of course it is not yet safe to say so without being called bad names. 

In this scenerio , let us make it a proper dream. Let's say that both are free to persue others during that week. Then how exciting would the husband find his adventures if he knew his wife was taking the same privileges.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602

Fence don't get married. You are not being forced. Stay single and keep your options open. There are no shortage of women who are open to cohabitation. You can change then out every 5-7 years, that sounds exciting. 

Do you think your perspective bride will be any happier with the prospect of having sex with only you for the next 50 years? She is just as likely to get restless as you. So you are not the only one. Maybe you should have a 2 way conversation. She hears you but she may not tell you what she thinks. How would you react if she said to you what you have said to her? 

I think you would worry that she would cheat and you may lose intest in marriage, is that not so? What effect do you think this discussion is having on your beloved? I wonder if she thinks it too late to back out now but I won't forget this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thor

Catherine602 said:


> In this scenerio , let us make it a proper dream. Let's say that both are free to persue others during that week. Then how exciting would the husband find his adventures if he knew his wife was taking the same privileges.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That would be changing the basic terms of the scenario, which is that there are no consequences.


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## Havesomethingtosay

I hate reading HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE's in sexually fulfilling marriages responses, because they are so pat and removed from reality. You frickin have wonderful, outstanding loving marriages...... Why would you want a "hall pass" or conversely understand what is being asked or why.

First it would only work in and HD/LD scenario, where there is a happy, solid good marriage and family and one spouse while not sexless, just doesn't care a whole lot about it. Sex is good when you have it, but maybe not as passionate, fun and exciting, but certainly leaves you with a smile on your face.

But then the scenario is annually you have a trip and can meet a lover/ap and have one week of fun & bliss with "no strings attached" because you both have you families to go back to and are happy in them and fortunately distance between you is really more then daunting to make it possible.

Well then you have a very enticing conundrum.

Really the question is "How much sex do you need to keep you content, so this never was even an issue or something you'd contemplate"?

Of course there will still be the Jeff74's who are essentially eunuch's and have had their balls chopped of by their spouses who would still never even entertain the thought......


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## Catherine602

Thor said:


> That would be changing the basic terms of the scenario, which is that there are no consequences.


Thats my point. No consequences for the man means controlling what his wife can do? Why should the wife risk the consequences of jealousy, disease, alienated of affection to give her husband a fun week. Let them both do the same. 

Now what do you think about hall passes if both the husband and wife have them. A woman who has a LD with her her husband will get excited by a new man. 

She is the one who would benefit more than her husband. She can look forward to an awakening of passion and sexual excitement once a year, which makes the rest of the year with the same old, same old bearable.


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## SimplyAmorous

Stonewall said:


> Not a chance! Its just not who I am. I am loyal to a fault. I am a one woman man period.


My husband again Stonewall ! Honest to God... he says both of those things!


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## Catherine602

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Really the question is "How much sex do you need to keep you content, so this never was even an issue or something you'd contemplate"?


There is no amount of sex that will keep a man or a woman content enough not to want to stray. 

For woman at lest, passion is ignited by a new lover. Thats why it is so difficult to resist the attraction to a man who is not the same man she sees every day. From 0 to 10 on the passion/excitement meter is hard to resist. 

That may be why the proportion of woman cheating is increasing. Exposure to men besides their SO and loosening of cultural negatives and economic consequences. 

Who knows, maybe women have a higher capacity for cheating than men. They may end up cheating at higher proportions than men in the next few years.


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## LovesHerMan

Havesomethingtosay said:


> I hate reading HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE's in sexually fulfilling marriages responses, because they are so pat and removed from reality. You frickin have wonderful, outstanding loving marriages...... Why would you want a "hall pass" or conversely understand what is being asked or why.
> 
> First it would only work in and HD/LD scenario, where there is a happy, solid good marriage and family and one spouse while not sexless, just doesn't care a whole lot about it. Sex is good when you have it, but maybe not as passionate, fun and exciting, but certainly leaves you with a smile on your face.
> 
> But then the scenario is annually you have a trip and can meet a lover/ap and have one week of fun & bliss with "no strings attached" because you both have you families to go back to and are happy in them and fortunately distance between you is really more then daunting to make it possible.
> 
> Well then you have a very enticing conundrum.
> 
> Really the question is "How much sex do you need to keep you content, so this never was even an issue or something you'd contemplate"?
> 
> Of course there will still be the Jeff74's who are essentially eunuch's and have had their balls chopped of by their spouses who would still never even entertain the thought......


We understand perfectly well what the OP meant by this thread. We are trying to tell the OP that if he thinks this way, he is not ready to be married.

A good marriage is not removed from reality, just from your reality.

The snide swipe at Jeff74 was uncalled for. He has been honest about his lack of drive, and it is your lack of empathy that colors your posts.


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## Thor

Catherine602 said:


> Thats my point. No consequences for the man means controlling what his wife can do? Why should the wife risk the consequences of jealousy, disease, alienated of affection to give her husband a fun week. Let them both do the same.


You're taking the fantasy scenario out of the intended context. Perhaps the question should not have been about a hall pass, but something along the lines of whether people are so satisfied emotionally and sexually in their marriages that they don't want sex with anybody else.

Some people are so. But others for a variety of reasons are enticed by the idea of sex with another person but due to the consequences they refrain from pursuing any such outside sex. I am one who would not have sex outside of my marriage because of the consequences. But I do have the desire to have sex with other un-specified women.

Of course in reality there would be consequences. And absolutely it would not be ok for my wife to have sex with other people. That was not the question or the scenario being posed.


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## Havesomethingtosay

lovesherman said:


> We understand perfectly well what the OP meant by this thread. We are trying to tell the OP that if he thinks this way, he is not ready to be married.
> 
> A good marriage is not removed from reality, just from your reality.
> 
> The snide swipe at Jeff74 was uncalled for. He has been honest about his lack of drive, and it is your lack of empathy that colors your posts.


Not everyone has a perfect marriage is my point and often sex is a contentious issue, which is where my reasoning is based.

As for my snide swipe @ Jeff74, it is because I am profoundly sorry as to what he has become. He claims that sex doesn't matter, yet views and uses porn significantly in lieu of "upsetting" his wife and having a sexual relationship with her (though he is very attracted to her). He then comes here and adds to a thread saying something that is patently untrue. He is not LD, wants sex, is getting absolutely none, and then claims he doesn't want a chance to have sex, when his wife basically couldn't care less.

It is very very sad to read.


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## waiwera

Havesomethingtosay said:


> I hate reading HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE's in sexually fulfilling marriages responses, because they are so pat and removed from reality.


I HATE pointless posts from BITTER, ANGRY TWISTED men. You made a stupid choice in your wife/life...so what now...you want to spread your misery with your nasty insulting posts?

I'm happily married (for 22 years) I shag my husband most days, I adore him and feel loved and adored in return.... this IS my reality.

What a pathetic life you must lead to post messages like this ...on a 'talkaboutmarriage' board... where people talk about...gasp...their own experiences in marriage.


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## Havesomethingtosay

waiwera said:


> I HATE pointless posts from BITTER, ANGRY TWISTED men. You made a stupid choice in your wife/life...so what now...you want to spread your misery with your nasty insulting posts?
> 
> I'm happily married (for 22 years) I shag my husband most days, I adore him and feel loved and adored in return.... this IS my reality.
> 
> What a pathetic life you must lead to post messages like this ...on a 'talkaboutmarriage' board... where people talk about...gasp...their own experiences in marriage.


Far from pathetic...... But I must repeat, since you don't get it.....

I am very happy for all people with Happy, Fulfilling, Wonderful marriages and sex lives. The point is the OP is redundant to all of you. It is like asking a straight male if given the chance would they sleep with Brad Pitt if he offered a gay experience..... I think Brad is very attractive, but would have to pass.....

Do you get what I'm saying????? And I am very happy that you have a great marriage.


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## waiwera

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Far from pathetic...... But I must repeat, since you don't get it.....
> 
> I am very happy for all people with Happy, Fulfilling, Wonderful marriages and sex lives. The point is the OP is redundant to all of you. It is like asking a straight male if given the chance would they sleep with Brad Pitt if he offered a gay experience..... I think Brad is very attractive, but would have to pass.....
> 
> Do you get what I'm saying????? And I am very happy that you have a great marriage.


See insulting... seems to be the main theme of youir posts here.

Yes we ALL see what OP is saying...I suspect your the one NOT understanding what WE are saying.


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## shy_guy

Answer to OP: No. We do not allow anyone else in our relationship.


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## brokenbloke

To the OP the question to me is too ridiculous to contemplate. It would be like asking me...:"if 2 plus 2 equaled 5, what would you do?"


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## keko

I would wonder what my wife would do during that one week.


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## Havesomethingtosay

The OP basically was asking about an open marriage in the context of 1wk/yr.

Yes that to me is just an open marriage and people have discussed this over and over.

The more interesting question is the Vegas tourist bureau's ad campaign...... "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas", which really is saying "let your inhibitions go and enjoy everything, including cheating, carousing, flirting......." where the other spouse knows nothing and you go back to a happy marriage otherwise.

I do not cheat, but I am honest when I look at these questions and look at why it could happen and would there be repercussions (outside disease). And then in the context of the original question, if there were absolutely no repercussions (outside memories, and hopefully learning a new trick or two) would you do it?

I then threw in my own opinion, as to whether a spouse in a sexually unsatisfying marriage (good in all other senses and not going to leave) where there was a HD/LD dynamic only and all avenues had been xhausted, would not jump at it.


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