# A long road with no map!



## USABRAZIL (Nov 6, 2010)

I don't know were to start nor look for help, so I did a search on google and found this forum. I need to try and see how it works. I have read many users posts and it looks to be a very good site for help. 

I am american and married to a beautiful brazillian. (Cultural diffrences) I have been the sole line of support since we have been together(2007) I lost my job in 2009 and have still been doing everything to support us. I have asked her for help but she still would. Not try and get a job. She claims she can not find one but only puts applications online maybe 1 time every couple of months. She encouraged me to start a company because I am very well educated in my line of work. So I did it. Now it has been even harder because the company is new and we need to wait 30 days for pay outs as well as customers who have not paid. We now lost our house and have been forced to live in a weekly rate motel. I sent her to her moms house so she didn't have to live like this and I continue to work everyday trying to get as much money as I can to get us back in the same home again.since she has been at her moms(1 week and a half) she has been looking for a job everyday so she says aned helping her mom with housekeeping jobs and baking.now we are fighting because she asked me to make a call for her to set up a cleaning job but als find someone to do the job since she is 3 states away. I did this for. Her and when I called to tell her the details we started fighting because I hired someone to do the job for the price $100.00 to clean a 3 bedroom 2 bath livingroom kitchen dining house. The lady has alwqays only paid $100.00 to my wife when she cleaned it but I was supose to hire the lady to take over until my wife got back for only $40.00. Sure maybhe it was my mistake for giving it all to the lady since were having hard times but it seems like every time my wife calls me to help I do it. Then she fights me for not doing it righbt. But what is right. If her way is right why do I call. If she has a. Way she wants it done why don't she tell me how she wants it. Since all this we havnt ta"ked other then to say its over. When I said I cantgo days without talking to he4r and her not showing she cares she tells me she's not going to ask me to stay if I want to leave, she said she don't need to cry over it, and if I want to fix it I will call her because she isn't calling me. She also said she can't fight the world for me but can't fighbt me to stay. I commented she can't fighbt me to stay but can fight to make me leave. I havnt heard anything more. 

Can anyone help me I have so much more to stay built inside but just needadvice and parts at a time

Please this road is long and I don't have a map
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

Welcome, you've found a good place here. It's helped me personally in the past few hours, during a dark time for me. People have reached out with compassion to me here. 

I've not been talking with my spouse for many days too. That can be a very lonely and sad place to be. It sounds like your spouse wants you to stay and work out together. 

So many families the past year have hit hard financial times. You are not alone there as well. The stress from lack of funds puts tremendous stress on a relationship.

Things might quiet down for a few days after you've both taken 'space' to calm the fighting. Maybe you or your spouse can find a 'little' nice thing you can do for the other to show that you still think of them. A little can go a long way to making the peace between you. Then you can start working on your married issues together a little bit, perhaps by seeing a marriage counselor?


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## USABRAZIL (Nov 6, 2010)

Well I decided to suck it up again and call my wife. I always seem to do this but had let her know I am at the end of my rope. I informed her that the way she has been is gonna stop or I will leave for good. I explained how I felt and what was going wrong in our relationship so it need to change. She told me this would stop and she was sorry. She said she didn't realize it was at that level.

I will continue to read her as well as help if I can. For now I think it is better but only time will tell and I still feel hurt inside
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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