# ok what would you do?



## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

so for now my ex is living not alone and can't take the children to see him there, it's not in this city. so he has been coming up to visit them every weekend. doesn't stay the night but comes up during the day. then i find he sticks around and talks to me. i'm like WTF... in the sep. he will get them overnight but that's when he gets a place of his own. he has no money to take them out on the town everytime he visits too. what would you do? put a ground rule on the time he's here? leave him here alone with the kids? not sure i'd trust him alone in my house to not snoop. he told me the other week that he dreamt i met someone new so no doubt he would check to see if there is any truth to it. (there isn't between me and you's). i feel like banging my head against the wall when he's here. i need some advice as to what you would do in my situation? i can't wait around for him to find a place, that could take ages. i'll go crazy having him here all the damn time. help


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Difficult, the hanging around part needs to stop, some ground rules need to be put in place.

I stayed, a couple times, overnight at my 1st wives place, she stayed at her parents place, rule was I didn't go near her bedroom, she trusted me enough to stick to that rule, and I did (slept in the lounge)


----------



## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

it would be easier if i could trust him enough to leave the house for a bit, do some window shopping or something but i can't. i feel better being in my home if he's in the home. he is the one that messed up but i know he will nit pick to look for a reason to create conflict. i just don't need that either in my life. oh well i guess no one else has been in that position. for now i will keep doing what i'm doing and keeping to myself when he's with the kids.


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

mama said:


> it would be easier if i could trust him enough to leave the house for a bit, do some window shopping or something but i can't. i feel better being in my home if he's in the home. he is the one that messed up but i know he will nit pick to look for a reason to create conflict. i just don't need that either in my life. oh well i guess no one else has been in that position. for now i will keep doing what i'm doing and keeping to myself when he's with the kids.


Sounds like that, for at least the time being, is your best course of action, not much help from me I am afraid, sorry


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Mama, I have the same thing  (sorry I didn't see this thread before) 

My H is moving into the city about 1hour 45mins away from us, and he's going into a house share.. so there's no way he'll have them over night, so he just comes one day at the weekend to see them..

His car has just blown up so now he has to take them into the town to do things... this is going to get boring very quickly, this past Saturday I took them to meet him, then left them, I then picked them up.. he came back to my house.. I didn't plan on that happening to be honest. He came in and made himself at home, it kinda annoyed me.. he keeps telling me it's not his home.. Anyways.. I don't know how this is all going to work with me.. it seems he's quite happy that he's got away scott free ie: just sees the kids for a few hours so he gets his fix.. 

What happens when it rains and he has no car and no place to take them? I don't want him snooping in my things.. I may just sit in my bedroom and read? But I know my kids will be upstairs in a shot.. *sigh*


----------



## bellringer (Aug 20, 2010)

we sold our house, stbx doesnt live here, but he has to help pack and move some stuff, small stuff as the movers will move the big things thursday, and my stbx is driving me crazy now, he moves what he can and i guess hes bored and lonely cause he stays here till 10 at night watching tv. I have been sick so i will just go up to my room. but he will think nothing of joining us for dinner, what a wake up call it will be friday when he cant just come sit on my couch in my apartment. these men are very arrogant, mine goes in the cabinet and gets a snack, like he still lives here. its just not normal.


----------

