# I don't want a divorce!!



## annie1977 (Dec 4, 2012)

My husband of 30+ years left our family in August for someone he knew in high school. He immediately filed for divorce. Our children will not talk to him, and will not allow him to have visitation with his grandchildren due to his behavior. He has been through many surgeries and sicknesses during our marriage and I have always been right by his side through everything, recently he had surgery and our children came home to help him during his recovery. But, to show us how thankful he is for us and for being there for him, he has rewarded us all with this news only two weeks after we lost his father to a sudden illness. We are all still in shock over all of this!! We have asked him to go to family counseling to try to work things out and work on our family, but he says he is "happy" now and has no interest in counseling. How can he be "happy now" in a life that does not include his home, his wife, his children, his grandchildren and all of our close friends (who have also turned their back on him)? Can he really be "happy" or is he just living in the honeymoon phase of this relationship? How soon before he comes to his senses and sees everything that he has lost? Advise, comments, etc.......


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## sadshane (Dec 4, 2012)

Not sure if I can give any advice. Just know that many on here feel your pain. It's so confusing when a person you love and trust, breaks that so quickly and leaves. You may want to look into the 180, alot of people talk about it on here. Basically you back off, do a 180. Don't beg, plead, try to make them understand how wrong they are. They are wrong but you can't change their minds they have to do that on their own..Your situation just sucks, make sure to lean on your family, get support, find someone you can talk to. You probably feel ashamed or embarresed, I know I do, but you have to come to terms with the situation.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just a sudden change? Just LIKE THAT?! =/ WTF?! No drama to push him over the edge? Just for his high school crush? Hell I don't know what to say...


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

Sounds like he is living in the honeymoon phase with the OW. It's much easier to drop everything and run off with someone who you have a pretty clean slate with then it is to go through the hard work it takes to maintain a family and marriage.

Only time will tell if he comes to his senses. Like Sadshane said don't beg, plead or be over emotional for his return. It will only push him away further.


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