# Waffling through Marriage Counseling



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

My H and I have been married 16 years BUT have been separated since May 2011. After 2 affairs and no true remorse from him, I filed for divorce a few months ago. He was living with a bar tramp but became very depressed and sent mixed messages about not wanting to end our marriage, etc. I gave him ample opportunities to drop the tramp, get HIV test and get into some IC and MC to see if we can fix what was once a really good marriage. 

He became more engaged and friendly with me and has tried to be more available to his daughter, etc. After some soul searching, I decided to give MC a last ditch effort to see if we can mend the marriage and for me to begin to heal from all the resentments and anger I have towards him for destroying our family.

We went to 3 sessions where he would waffle and claim he was unsure if I would ever be happy with him again or forgive him. The counselor asked if he had severed all ties with his bar tramp and he claims he is no longer living there. (He moved into our rental house). He claimed he has nothing left at her home but admitted that he has not broken ALL contact with her. I find this totally unacceptable. 

Today at 11:00 was our MC appt and I texted him last night and asked if ALL ties have been severed. He said No. I texted I was not interested in any more counseling while he is still with another woman. The counselor and him both stated that sometimes it takes a while to break the bond. To that, I replied, "He clearly did not breaking his bond to me or his daughter and clearly did not mind breaking his wedding vows". 

I say, BULLSH!T. It is almost a year. That is plenty of time to own up to your mistakes, Man up and decide.

I have never stopped the divorce and am continuing the legal process. 

He sent me a text message "thanking me for not showing up and working on our marriage and that he is trying but I am not making it easy for him". 

WTF? I need some sane responses... Thanks!


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

You hold the cards!! if you're not ready to work on it. Tell him you need time.

good luck


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