# It always sucks to work with the wife's OM...but sometimes it REALLY sucks



## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Wife and I have been making stellar progress towards R after a false start. But being that both of us plus OM work together, it can be a challenge sometimes. She's maintaining NC, but some mornings, like this morning, it's tough to not just pound him into hamburger.

Wife and I walked into the weekly department meeting to hear him whining and moaning about how he goes so long without hearing from the woman he's so deeply in love with, who's in the military and stationed halfway across the country...how he's getting mixed signals from her and is trying to get an answer as to what, exactly, they are...friends? FWB? A couple? Blah blah, wah wah.

Hearing him whine about how in love he's been with her for 4 months made me want to leap across the table, grab him by the throat, and scream, "If you've been so crazy about her for four months, why the f¥<k were you trying to arrange a parking lot rendezvous with my wife THREE months ago?"

Dude, you're a predator. You have no conscience. You have no heart for her to break.

I only wish I had some way to track down Miss Wonderful, so I could fill her in on what kind of scumbag has set his sights on her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

I feel the same way whenever I run into the OW at the store or around town. It's tough to resist the urge of yanking her leg brace off of her fat arse and beating the snot out of her!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth closed and you may learn who, where and how about her.
I'd certainly expose him if I got the chance.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

You sir are a better man than me. I don't know if I could contain myself. If the om were one of my co workers I would fire their ass. I would make up a reason later.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

This is where using a real appointment calendar binder with obvious calendar months marked comes in handy. All you have to do is flip back a few months and make a comment about how at least he has more time on his hands now for a hobby or extra work.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Unfortunately, joe, I don't have the authority to fire him.

Dan, for better or for worse, this morning was an anomaly. Normally, if he speaks around me (he NEVER speaks TO me), it's an attempt to show everyone how much smarter and better than them he is. (A plan which backfires, without fail.) I have been trying to see if I can get some idea to narrow down how to contact her. As it is, I've gotten his (now ex) wife to divorce him after exposing the PA with my wife last year. I wouldn't hesitate to wipe out this new "love" for him trying to get back into my wife's pants.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

NO...
...f***ing
...way.

Seriously impressive, you sir are _definitely _a better man than me. How do you get any work done? 

Forget firing their ass - as far as containing myself, I'd be looking to BEAT their ass. Repeatedly, with everything in the office. No way I could do even once anything remotely close to what you do every day. Wow.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Grayson said:


> I wouldn't hesitate to wipe out this new "love" for him trying to get back into my wife's pants.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's why you lay low and listen. If he's such a big talker, he will let some things slip that you may be able to use to your advantage.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I agree with 2xL.
If that'd been me, I feel that instead of the photocopier spitting out pictures of his backside, it'd be his a-hole spitting out shards of broken glass and photocopier.

It would sting for sure.

You sire are a far better man than me.
But seriously, that's not much of an achievement anyway


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

2xloser said:


> NO...
> ...f***ing
> ...way.
> 
> ...


Exactly. Or.... better yet I would give him a series of demeaning jobs and make him call me sir.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

2x, I'm lucky in that I'm only in a position that I HAVE to see him at the Friday meetings. Most days, I don't see him at all. Part of my position is to answer questions for the people in his group. If he has questions, he doesn't ask me. When faced with no other option than to ask me or make something up...he makes something up.

I'd be lying, though, if I said that I don't imagine messing up his vehicle every evening on the way out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Grayson said:


> I'd be lying, though, if I said that I don't imagine messing up his vehicle every evening on the way out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


An old boss who used to wind me up something chronic once went out to find his car completely covered in bubblewrap and duct-tape.
It took him ages to unwrap it.
I nearly wet myself.
He did. It was raining.

Oh joy of joys.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Grayson I feel your pain of sharing office space with the om/ow. I'm just sad you aren't in the position to get rid of his predatory ass. He should be fired just for having an office affair...but then that would mean we lived in a perfect and just world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

btw I wasn't being snarky when I said you're a better man than me in this regard, I mean it. Getting physical with him wouldn't be smart. Like NB said, doesn't take much to be better here - but you certainly are. I seriously don't know how you do it.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Best thing you could do to him---is to totally, and completely ignore him, like he doesn't exist----he is obviously a talker, cuz he can't really do, ---so he talks, He talks to get the attention, ignoring him totally hurts him, and puts him down. (that is except for seducing married women)-----as you ignore him, keep trying to find out about his GF---he seems to like to blab, so it will slip out one day---actually if you are still in contact with his XW---and she lives at his old address, maybe the new GF, will send some mail to that address


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Can you find out who his new love is on Facebook? Everyone seems to be on there these days.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Grayson said:


> hear him whining and moaning about how he goes so long without hearing from the woman he's so deeply in love with, who's in the military and stationed halfway across the country...*how he's getting mixed signals from her and is trying to get an answer as to what, exactly, they are...friends? FWB? A couple? Blah blah, wah wah.*


Well, if it's any consolation, Grays... he sounds like a total pvssy. :rofl:


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

jnj express said:


> Best thing you could do to him---is to totally, and completely ignore him, like he doesn't exist----he is obviously a talker, cuz he can't really do, ---so he talks, He talks to get the attention, ignoring him totally hurts him, and puts him down. (that is except for seducing married women)-----as you ignore him, keep trying to find out about his GF---he seems to like to blab, so it will slip out one day---actually if you are still in contact with his XW---and she lives at his old address, maybe the new GF, will send some mail to that address


For the most part, I do indeed ignore him. Most of us at work do, since he annoys the crap out of most everyone.

I'm not in contact with his ex, but still have means of contacting her. But, the mail idea is probably a non-starter, since he's been living with mommy since the ex kicked him out a year ago. Good thought, though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Can you find out who his new love is on Facebook? Everyone seems to be on there these days.


I've had that thought, but he blocked me a year ago. I suppose I could make a new account for the purpose of investigating.

And thanks for the follow-up thought. I agree. He even hangs his head to avoid eye contact with me if we pass in the halls, etc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ Because he's a pvssy! 

LOL


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Can you find out who his new love is on Facebook? Everyone seems to be on there these days.


I found out a whole bunch of sh*t about my ex's ow and all their going on's with a simple google search. I just typed her in name in the search and she had a facebook, a myspace and a twitter, all which were open for the world to see. That's how I found out they was indeed doing the dirty. My ex was posting her little love notes on her myspace page. *barf*
Your local county should also have online public records available. I ran a criminal background check on the ow but she came up clean. You could check the om's background.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> ^ Because he's a pvssy!
> 
> LOL


:iagree: :rofl:


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## MrDude (Jun 21, 2010)

I don't know how you put up with it. If I ever see my wife's OM the first thing he is going to get is a fist in the gut...or maybe the throat.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

MrDude said:


> I don't know how you put up with it. If I ever see my wife's OM the first thing he is going to get is a fist in the gut...or maybe the throat.


If you can catch them.
They're like squirrels. As soon as they see you they're up trees, over fences, through bushes etc...
They're hyper-vigilant because they know they're in danger. They'll see you miles before you catch a glimpse of them.
I think OM/OW should have a cat style bell-collar fitted by law.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Simply tell him that you will make a point, no a second career of finding and telling any woman that he will get involved what a low life piece of crap he is. And that you will put them in contact with his ex-wife. Unless he quits.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Overheard at work yesterday: he wants to try out for _The Amazing Race_. But is having trouble finding a partner to audition with.

Now, just for the record...this same person has been trying for the past year to get the VA to declare his back pain severe enough to qualify for full disability...but apparently, it's not so bad that he isn't also trying to get them to clear him for return to active duty...and now, also not so bad that he can't try out for a physically taxing tv competition.

In a way, though, I kinda hope he makes it onto the show. Then EVERYONE can see what a conniving, lying pvssy he is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Wife's having a rough day today. As we prepare for a group of new hires to join us, seating has been rearranged. The way we do it is to place the new hires where they're surrounded by experienced employees and/or adjacent to supervisors. Works pretty well. OM has already caused a break in that pattern...because of the poor job he does, he has not been moved from the "hot seat" he was moved to shortly after coming out of training...he's next to a supervisor and directly across the aisle from his manager.

Here's where the W's difficulty comes in. Picture our area of the building like this: a bunch of cubicles put together in such a way that there are three main aisles, with cross aisles at either end. The fridge is on aisle 1, my group is at the back of aisle 2 and OM's "hot seat" is at the front of aisle 3. W used to be at the front of aisle 1. If OM had to come to our group for a question or head to the fridge, he would go from the front of aisle 3, then down aisle 2 to get to my group or down 2 and up 1 to get to the fridge (thus avoiding W's desk). She's been moved to the middle of aisle 3. And, she says that it appears that he's decided to alter his route, going down 3 to the back in order to get to my group or the fridge. There may be nothing to it, but being in closer proximity (with him apparently making a point of passing by her desk) and having to hear his bleating crap all day is already taxing her patience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Just got some decent news: starting Monday, OM will be working from home. W and I won't have to see or hear him, making for far fewer triggers for either of us.

Hopefully, one day soon, we'll hear he doesn't work here anymore, at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Good news. I don't know how you have managed to work in the same office with FOM and FWW all this time. Kudo to your patience and perseverance.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Craggy456 said:


> I feel the same way whenever I run into the OW at the store or around town. It's tough to resist the urge of yanking her leg brace off of her fat arse and beating the snot out of her!


This is off topic but your avi can cause some serious visual issues and for epileptics seizures. Please change it, it messed with my eyes and head.

To the OP: I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Perhaps a change in jobs might help for both of you? Just here for moral support.

Vent away.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

CantePe said:


> This is off topic but your avi can cause some serious visual issues and for epileptics seizures. Please change it, it messed with my eyes and head.


No, that's his subliminal mind control tool to make the OP more susceptible to his advice. :lol:


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

2xloser said:


> btw I wasn't being snarky when I said you're a better man than me in this regard, I mean it. Getting physical with him wouldn't be smart. Like NB said, doesn't take much to be better here - but you certainly are. I seriously don't know how you do it.


I agree with 2xloser.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Just got some decent news: starting Monday, OM will be working from home. W and I won't have to see or hear him, making for far fewer triggers for either of us.
> 
> Hopefully, one day soon, we'll hear he doesn't work here anymore, at all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Congrats on the good news!

This should help your healing and R a lot.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Thanks, everyone.

I won't lie...sometimes it's difficult. A month or so ago, W asked me to stop making my snarky comments and observations about his actions at work. Not because she was defending him, but because those comments ramped her guilt for shoving his existence into our lives and the pain she caused me in doing so. Fortunately, I have some good friends who know the story who are fine with me texting those comments and observations if I absolutely must share them with someone.

Like last night, near the end of the evening, he started randomly snapping pictures of people. One of te women asked him, "(OM), what's wrong with you?" I was so very tempted to pipe up and say, "Do you want the whole list, or just the top 40?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

And now, The Walking Dead Thread...



Grayson said:


> Just got some decent news: starting Monday, OM will be working from home. W and I won't have to see or hear him, making for far fewer triggers for either of us.
> 
> Hopefully, one day soon, we'll hear he doesn't work here anymore, at all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And now, as of last Friday, he's been pulled back into the office due to attendance and performance issues. (Really? How do you have attendance issues when your commute to work consists of getting out of bed and walking into another room...if that much?) So far, we're doing ok. It helped that I got to toss him under a bus yesterday. We have a pretty strict "no personal computers/tablets" policy, as well as a strict Internet use policy. Last night, he had an iPad out, surfing cheesecake/lingerie pictures. As the supervisor on duty, I emailed his manager about it. Lookin forward to seeing what happens.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Grayson said:


> And now, as of last Friday, he's been pulled back into the office due to attendance and performance issues. (Really? How do you have attendance issues when your commute to work consists of getting out of bed and walking into another room...if that much?)





> Last night, he had an iPad out, surfing cheesecake/lingerie pictures._Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sure that these two sentences occurring simultaneously in your last post are entirely coincidental  hang in there


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Thanks, iheart.

A little earlier, he had the iPad out again (in the middle of the day, with management around...entitled much?), albeit it didn't look like it was blatantly inappropriate content this time. I let his manager know, but it was put away by the time the manager got to his desk. A few minutes later, though, HR came by so I could tell them what I saw last night. Thinking about fixing some popcorn and watching the show.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Grayson said:


> Thanks, iheart.
> 
> A little earlier, he had the iPad out again (in the middle of the day, with management around...entitled much?), albeit it didn't look like it was blatantly inappropriate content this time. I let his manager know, but it was put away by the time the manager got to his desk. A few minutes later, though, HR came by so I could tell them what I saw last night. Thinking about fixing some popcorn and watching the show.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I work in an office in downtown Dallas and this made me look around for iPad users lol.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Back in the dark ages, when people could go outside for a smoke, I worked near the door the smokers went through to get there. After about 6 months of watching a continuous troop of people in and out, I decided to start logging it. It turned out that 90% of them (about 1/3 of our workforce) were spending more than 2 hours a day for these two 15-minute smoke breaks. Between walking out there (outside my window), smoking, talking, eating a snack, drinking a coke, going to the next building to visit somenoe, talking about coming back in, getting ready to come back in, standing up to come back in, walking in, and finally getting to their seats.

I wrote up a spreadsheet showing the boss how much time they were using up (i.e. not working) every day. Then I asked to start working 6 1/2 hour workdays and still get paid for it, since that's what THEY were getting.

Said boss put a stop to it the next week.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Under the Mosaic Covenant this piece of **** would be stoned to death. 

Just saying.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

ArmyofJuan said:


> I work in an office in downtown Dallas and this made me look around for iPad users lol.


Ha! We're not downtown. ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Grayson said:


> And now, The Walking Dead Thread...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

joe kidd said:


> You sir are a better man than me. I don't know if I could contain myself. If the om were one of my co workers I would fire their ass. I would make up a reason later.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: (except I am not a man)


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

I might be missing the boat I was just wondering how your wife got involved with this idiot. If you don't feel like going back there please ignore me. I am just curious as to what happened.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Guess who go walked out about an hour ago. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Guess who go walked out about an hour ago.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He deserves worse, but man, I imagine that feels good for you! Rock on brother!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

badbane said:


> I might be missing the boat I was just wondering how your wife got involved with this idiot. If you don't feel like going back there please ignore me. I am just curious as to what happened.


Short version: they both started training at work on the same day. He had no car, so she started giving him rides home, left appropriate boundaries in the dust, and a few weeks later, he was doing her in a park.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

WhiteMousse said:


> He deserves worse, but man, I imagine that feels good for you! Rock on brother!


It did indeed feel very good. It was all I could do to not grin like the frakkin Cheshire Cat the rest of the afternoon.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Guess who go walked out about an hour ago.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Did he have a box of his belongings in hand?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Did he have a box of his belongings in hand?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No box. Just a backpack.:smthumbup:


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## Fvstringpicker (Mar 11, 2012)

badbane said:


> I might be missing the boat I was just wondering how your wife got involved with this idiot.


I was kinda wondering the same thing. Sound like she could have picked a better class of loser.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Grayson said:


> Guess who go walked out about an hour ago.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good riddance!!! :smthumbup:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Guess who go walked out about an hour ago.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You got him fired? Seriously? You the man!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> You got him fired? Seriously? You the man!


He got himself fired.

I just made sure his manager had the pertinent information.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Grayson said:


> He got himself fired.


 That is usually how it is.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Once in a while, there is justice!!


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## Fvstringpicker (Mar 11, 2012)

You may try hiring a woman for the vacancy.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

I don't do the hiring, and there's already a class of 4-6 new hires scheduled to start training next week. All of 'em will be remote, working from home once training is done.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Now THIS is an awesome update. :smthumbup:


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## Female (Jul 26, 2016)

MEN how about figuring out why your wife felt the need to cheat!!! Most women don't cheat unless they feel starved for attention affection and romance. Stop thinking that after you marry us or makes us your girlfriend the courting is done. I got her so I'm good. We need constant attention it's what we thrive on from you. We need better longer more interesting sex and we need someone that will talk to us and put us first above all else in your life including your damn job.... You marry us and then you make us regret it the day after. BE better try a lil don't get lazy and then complain cause now we see another man has the attention for us we were craving. Don't get me wrong we know that other man is going to do the same thing give us attention until he gets what he wants and then it's over.... But it's such a trap evrything you do is some sort of setup where we are constantly the ones getting the short end of the stick. Women should be the ones with 2 or 3 husbands because one man doesn't have the stamina we do and I think it's high time women realized this and reversed the roles and start making it so men have to put the work in for a change. Or they become the lone wolf kicked out of the tribe and loose all mating rights.


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