# Kinda weird



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

So last night we are having sex. My wife is 50 going through menopause. She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway. We ended up in missionary and she wanted me to cum. Said it was going to take her too long to orgasm and she just wanted to "watch me cum." It happens every once in a while. Nobody can bat a thousand. :grin2:
Anyway, she looked at me smiling and studied me like a book. 
Afterwards she said it was "so much fun to watch you cum."

It's not like I pulled out and sprayed her. I stayed inside. She watched my build up so intently and has NEVER done anything like this. I was having the time of my life, uninhibited groaning, having a grand ole time. 
Every time I looked at her she had this curious smile on her face watching my every move.

Do women do this sometimes? If so, why? 
Is it a good or bad thing?
I was obviously disappointed that she did not cum, but it does happen every once in a while. Whenever she is very tired or has emotional stress, headaches, etc. It has happened about twice in 6 months. Typically she will tell me to use the vibrator if she is having difficulty, but this time I could tell, all she really wanted to do was watch me have an orgasm.

Was this a +1 or a -1 ?


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
doesn't seem strange to me. I love watching my wife "O". I don't see why some women wouldn't enjoy watching men do so.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Do you enjoy seeing your wife's face when she orgasms?
> 
> 
> There's your answer.


Yes, but she has never done this in 25 years. Also, she was doing this while knowing she was not going to cum.
It's strange to me only because it's a first for her.
I guess it's a +1

Sorry for the stupid question. This interest from my wife is very new to me.


----------



## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I don't find this weird at all. I like watching my H. Maybe your W is just now entering a very open stage of her sex life where she is exploring new things she hasn't before. I mean, everything else has been going well for you lately when it used to be not so great, right? I think she is just opening up is all. When people feel more open and comfortable, they stop thinking and just have fun - they do what comes natural. Watching your partner O is an exciting thing for most people, I would think.


----------



## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

I agree with the others. 
Not Weird at all. 

And, change, is normal, and not weird either!

:grin2:


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

@UMP ,
I'd go so far as calling it a +2
She got a new experience, that she enjoyed. She is worried about menopause, and now she knows she can still find Joy. She may come back to revisit it from time to time. And, most of all you let go and really gave her a show.


----------



## PAPS18 (May 17, 2012)

Sorry, I can't get past this-

She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway.

I believe that says it all about your wife, and then follow that up by genuinely enjoying watching your pleasure-that is a sign of a woman that really loves her husband and cares about his needs over her own-the way marriage is supposed to be. You are a lucky man. I have always thought that marriage was about putting your spouses needs above your own and it is clear to me your wife feels that way as well.


----------



## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Oh god no it’s not weird. I LOVE to watch it. I love the sounds even more.


----------



## Capster (Jun 10, 2014)

Agreed about the +1. Give her a better view next time. >


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

PAPS18 said:


> Sorry, I can't get past this-
> 
> She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway.
> 
> I believe that says it all about your wife, and then follow that up by genuinely enjoying watching your pleasure-that is a sign of a woman that really loves her husband and cares about his needs over her own-the way marriage is supposed to be. You are a lucky man. I have always thought that marriage was about putting your spouses needs above your own and it is clear to me your wife feels that way as well.


Thank you very much!
She even had the headache the day before too. Her periods keep getting worse even days before she bleeds. I even mentioned that I was disappointed that she did not cum and she replied, "we'll see what happens Friday."
The strange part for me is the way she was looking at me. It's almost as if she was in a front row seat to a concert she's been wanting to go to for years." It kind of freaked me out because she has never looked at me this way. I felt like I was performing for her. Thankfully I had a couple glasses of wine and was feeling pretty good.:grin2:


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Oh god no it’s not weird. I LOVE to watch it. I love the sounds even more.


This is good to know. I always thought only men felt this way about women, not the other way around. Certainly not after 25 years of marriage.


----------



## Capster (Jun 10, 2014)

UMP said:


> I felt like I was performing for her. Thankfully I had a couple glasses of wine and was feeling pretty good.:grin2:


Have you ever MB'd for her before?


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Capster said:


> Have you ever MB'd for her before?


Years ago only because she bet me that I couldn't do it.
She was more in shock than anything else.
I have asked her to do it for me and she just can't. As a matter of fact, she swears up and down that she has NEVER, EVER masturbated. She is 50.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> @UMP ,
> I'd go so far as calling it a +2
> She got a new experience, that she enjoyed. She is worried about menopause, and now she knows she can still find Joy. She may come back to revisit it from time to time. And, most of all you let go and really gave her a show.



I agree^^^

UMP is your wife getting help with her hormones? The headaches and other problems can be helped a great deal with bioidentical hormone therapy. It helps keep your libido in high gear too.


----------



## Capster (Jun 10, 2014)

UMP said:


> Years ago only because she bet me that I couldn't do it.
> She was more in shock than anything else.
> I have asked her to do it for me and she just can't. As a matter of fact, she swears up and down that she has NEVER, EVER masturbated. She is 50.


That's my wife to a T. Never MB, 50. Funny thing - I try to MB for her and she'll slap my hand away and does me herself. Might give it a try (um, with yur own wife, that is).


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> So you guys buy the "never MB" line, huh?


Why would a wife of 25 years lie about that? I could care less either way. In fact, my wife knows that I WANT her to do this, with or without me. I even bought her a Hitachi and she won't get anywhere near it. I put it in the drawer in such a way that I would know if someone touched it. Nada.

Having said all this, I guess it is possible that she is lying. The question is why???


----------



## PAPS18 (May 17, 2012)

OlivaG, yep, I buy it from my wife. She claims it gross, self pleasure that is. As UMP said, why would someone lie about that?? I supposed she could be but I believe my nearly 50 year old wife also has never touched her self sexually, I truly do.


----------



## PAPS18 (May 17, 2012)

UMP, I can see where that would catch you off guard, but to be honest when I am in that zone, my eyes are usually closed or I am not looking at her reaction so much. I love to look down and watch the in/out action, that is such a turn on to me-also the sounds of our bodies merging together-the slapping noise, the wetness noise etc so I guess I have not really paid much attention if she is watching me but that would be an honor if she ever did-but in her mind I think she is more like, I wish he would go ahead and cum. She will even say that sometimes, which is a turnoff (and this is after 4-5 minutes of penetration-I don't typically last all that long because it might be a 2-3 week period of time between sex). BUT, such is life living with a low libido spouse.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Why? Why is a question that is hard for me to answer, even about myself. But I lied about it. For more than 25 years. And I didn't need a toy to do it - it feels better to me without a toy (with one exception: the Womanizer).


Would you still have lied if your husband encouraged you to do it by yourself or with him?
Even if I am inside her, like doing push ups and want her to touch her clit because I need my two arms to support myself, she won't touch herself. I have even placed her hand on her Vag and she says, "it feels so much better if you do it."


----------



## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

UMP said:


> So last night we are having sex. My wife is 50 going through menopause. She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway.


Being a law officer can be very stressful at times, it's understandable that she may act weird at times.


----------



## PAPS18 (May 17, 2012)

OliviaG, I would NOT be upset if my wife self pleasured UNLESS that kept her from wanting sex with me-and when your partner has a low sex drive, that would REALLY hurt. Honestly, I don't think she ever does-sex just never enters her mind-or rarely does. Course as I have mentioned, she is on the pill for her irregular periods (I had a vasectomy about 7-8 years ago). The short period of time she was off the pill, her drive did go up as I could tell a big difference. BUT, that was short lived with the heavy periods and back on the pill she went. Her doctor did tests and wants her to stay on the pill.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

UMP said:


> Yes, but she has never done this in 25 years.


That you know of, it may be the first time she vocalized what she was doing. She may have "watched you" surreptitiously many times before.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

PAPS18 said:


> UMP, I can see where that would catch you off guard, but to be honest when I am in that zone, my eyes are usually closed or I am not looking at her reaction so much. I love to look down and watch the in/out action, that is such a turn on to me-also the sounds of our bodies merging together-the slapping noise, the wetness noise etc so I guess I have not really paid much attention if she is watching me but that would be an honor if she ever did-but in her mind I think she is more like, I wish he would go ahead and cum. She will even say that sometimes, which is a turnoff (and this is after 4-5 minutes of penetration-I don't typically last all that long because it might be a 2-3 week period of time between sex). BUT, such is life living with a low libido spouse.


I too was closing my eyes, but when I opened them, she was looking at me like I was a stripper or something. Never seen that before. So I closed them and every once in awhile took a peek.
She has NEVER looked at me with that kind of lust. It took me by surprise.

I was going to town though. Jack hammer missionary with her legs close to her head and me on my hands as in doing push ups.
Not something I do on a regular basis. I guess she liked it.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Yes. Don't ask me why; I don't know.


OK:smile2:
I guess it's girl thing. I can accept that.
Kind of interesting and feminine.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Why? Why is a question that is hard for me to answer, even about myself. *But I lied about it*. For more than 25 years.


Those were not lies, they were extremely well conditioned ninja reactions of stealth that you acquired from years of vigorous training since you were a teen!


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

UMP said:


> Having said all this, I guess it is possible that she is lying. The question is why???


She's probably not lying, but "never" is a relative term. I find it unbelievably difficult to believe somebody has literally never touched themselves or attempted masturbation, ever. Perhaps at 50, the last time she did was 35 years ago, and maybe it was just experimentation. Who knows.

"Never" is highly unlikely, though.

My wife does, though it's probably only a handful of times a year. She'd tell you she never masturbates, too.

Beyond that, the term "masturbation" can also be thought of in different ways. Perhaps to her, it means purposefully making time for it, on the bed, solely to have an orgasm.

Maybe a spur-of-the-moment usage of the shower head while showering doesn't count.

I have a beer every now and again and a few times a year I'll have too many. I consider myself a non-drinker. To somebody that doesn't drink AT ALL, I'm not a non-drinker. One of my buddies when I was growing up would smoke a few cigarettes a week. A pack would last him a month. But he was a non-smoker


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

alexm said:


> She's probably not lying, but "never" is a relative term. I find it unbelievably difficult to believe somebody has literally never touched themselves or attempted masturbation, ever. Perhaps at 50, the last time she did was 35 years ago, and maybe it was just experimentation. Who knows.
> 
> "Never" is highly unlikely, though.
> 
> ...


It could also be explained with "this is not something that a women admits to" sort of thing. Come to think of it, my wife hates talking about sex. If we don't talk about it, to my wife, it did not happen.
Sex and anything sex related is "our" dirty little secret. Masturbation is probably "her" dirty little secret.
Come to think of it, in years past I swore to her that I saw her masturbate in bed. Several times I have been awoken to moaning and that tell tale smell. 
She denied it, a thousand times.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

OliviaG said:


> And I didn't need a toy to do it - it feels better to me without a toy (*with one exception: the Womanizer*).


 Yay! I'm not the only one with a Womanizer! I don't mean to derail this thread, but yeah, it really seems to blow away the vibrators. Last time we used it, my wife handed it back to me in a frenzy asking me to make it go faster! > Tech support to the rescue, she was pushing the on/off instead of the function crystal! So I pushed the magic crystal, handed it back to her for proper placement, and the magic happened! We have some great vibes and we'll keep the Lelo, but this is just in another league. She always tells me she hates toys, but she would only orgasm maybe 25% of the time when we have sex. So I secretly bought the Womanizer (during a sex toy ban) and hid it until she owed me big. So I told her to close her eyes and not look, just relax. She was probably expecting a variation on PIV, but then I started oral on her, and told her not to look, I'm getting you "ready", meanwhile I turned on and applied the Womanizer. She immediately smiled "oh, what's tthhaaa--- oh" and it didn't take long before we had liftoff! :grin2: Honestly, this thing has worked every time, but placement is crucial! Also, since the stimulation is clitoral, follow-on PIV is not over stimulating. I've bought a LOT of toys over the last 2 years and this is by far the best for her. But, I've been curious about the Fiera. Hmmm... maybe I should start a sex toy thread...

Getting back to masturbation though, I don't think my wife uses it solo...


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> You've nailed it UMP. I think that's the only way to explain it. At least in my case it is.


Now, how can I get her to do it in front of me ??????????????


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Well, good to read all this, now I don't feel weird having a mirror positioned right off my face so I can witness myself in all my glory as well :grin2:


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Hmm..that's a tough one. If you want to stand back and not participate while she "puts on a show" for you, I don't think you can make that happen; at least not without some intermediate steps that she'd have to get comfortable with first.
> 
> Maybe buy her the Womanizer (W500). Have a session "just for her" one night, where you participate (hold her close, kiss, etc., but use the Womanizer on her; no PIV). I have a feeling she will respond very, very well to that device. Tell her you just want to treat her, you want to enjoy her pleasure.
> 
> ...


I think your idea is a great one!
In fact, I just ordered the w500. Not cheap.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Maybe buy her the Womanizer (W500)


Olivia, 
How do you position the thing? Does that little protrusion fit on the clit or in the hole? Which way is up:grin2:
Seriously, a little instruction would help. Maybe it comes with an instruction manual.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Oh, that's great! Not sure if you read this or not but the company that makes the Womanizer guarantees it will give her a reliable O or you can return it for full refund. They're very confident, and I can see why, having used it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


OK, so as I see it, the protrusion fits on the clit and in the north position. The bottom part fits snuggly on the vag and I believe it creates suction so it stays there? Got it!
This will be fun!

I think Amazon is going to take over the world. 
$189.00 free shipping.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

UMP said:


> Olivia,
> How do you position the thing? Does that little protrusion fit on the clit or in the hole? Which way is up:grin2:
> Seriously, a little instruction would help. Maybe it comes with an instruction manual.


Hopefully OliviaG will give you her opinion too... 

Ha! You bought the thing even before you knew how it worked! You are entering a brave new world. So it's basically a vacuum pump that gently cycles through varying intensities to suck on the clitoris. The protrusion and opening sits on the clitoris. You hold it there. Probably start with the lowest level and increase intensity slowly. I like to VERY GENTLY do oral on her to get the clitoris to come out to play. Then it's easy to place the Womanizer right on top. Then the vagina is free for other activities, but I would make sure not to over stimulate the vagina while using the womanizer if you want PIV afterward...


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> Not quite; the protrusion fits on the clit and that's it; there's nothing touching the vagina at all. The rest of the device is just something to hold on to. I'm usually holding the device myself so the handle is facing north, but it doesn't matter whether the handle's facing north, south, east or west.
> 
> I know it seems hard to believe, but just the stimulation on the clit from that one little protrusion gives me extremely intense Os; the kind that cause very strong contractions that go on and on and on. It's unbelievable.


OK, I understand now.
It seems that this thing would drive you crazy REAL fast.
I have the Hitachi and my wife says it's too intense.
I hope this thing is not too much to handle and make you cum too fast.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

UMP said:


> OK, I understand now.
> It seems that this thing would drive you crazy REAL fast.
> I have the Hitachi and my wife says it's too intense.
> I hope this thing is not too much to handle and make you cum too fast.


Yeah, that's the right attitude. Definitely don't go straight to the most intense level. Climb slowly and let her savor the feeling. I think a slow build-up heightens the anticipation and leads to a bigger+better orgasm. But, I'm a guy, what do I know? :wink2: Funny, watching my wife have these orgasms makes me feel like I know how they feel...


----------



## LadybugMomma (Apr 28, 2016)

UMP said:


> So last night we are having sex. My wife is 50 going through menopause. She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway. We ended up in missionary and she wanted me to cum. Said it was going to take her too long to orgasm and she just wanted to "watch me cum." It happens every once in a while. Nobody can bat a thousand. :grin2:
> Anyway, she looked at me smiling and studied me like a book.
> Afterwards she said it was "so much fun to watch you cum."
> 
> ...


I don't think it's a bad thing. I actually think it's a good thing. I am often so wrapped up in the moment and not paying any attention to my H, that when I finally do look at him, I realize he is intently watching me. He becomes more aroused while watching me. So, one time I thought to myself I wonder what I'm missing while I'm so busy focusing on myself. I made sure to watch him intently while enjoying the moment myself and I have to say, it's pretty amazing to "see" the pleasure you can give to your spouse. I watch him more often now. 

It'd say it's a +1 for you.


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Seems to me you have a great wife. She wanted to enjoy you enjoying her. She happily met your needs even though she wasn't amped up to have sex. She deserves an awesome date night with no strings attached. You better do it.


----------



## HEIDI84 (Apr 24, 2016)

UMP said:


> So last night we are having sex. My wife is 50 going through menopause. She had a bad headache all day but was a trooper and decided to have sex anyway. We ended up in missionary and she wanted me to cum. Said it was going to take her too long to orgasm and she just wanted to "watch me cum." It happens every once in a while. Nobody can bat a thousand. :grin2:
> Anyway, she looked at me smiling and studied me like a book.
> Afterwards she said it was "so much fun to watch you cum."
> 
> ...


Good thing I enjoy feeling my man cum inside me well my ex man now but ya catch the drift almost more than me cumming myself

@-->----


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

This is fascinating to me. My wife also claims to have never mb'd in her life. Not one single time. And yeah, I believe her also. Her drive is so completely and totally responsive that I don't know what would ever prompt her to just go for it on her own.

Ump--if you ever get a chance to compare the womanizer to the hitachi, give us a review. The hitachi is pretty much the only thing that has ever worked on my wife, and even that's not a sure-fire guarantee.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> This is fascinating to me. My wife also claims to have never mb'd in her life. Not one single time. And yeah, I believe her also. Her drive is so completely and totally responsive that I don't know what would ever prompt her to just go for it on her own.
> 
> Ump--if you ever get a chance to compare the womanizer to the hitachi, give us a review. The hitachi is pretty much the only thing that has ever worked on my wife, and even that's not a sure-fire guarantee.


The Hitachi did not last more than 5 minutes. WAY too intense for her. The "womanizer" should arrive on Monday. Hopefully I will have some sort of review on Tuesday.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

UMP said:


> The Hitachi did not last more than 5 minutes. WAY too intense for her. The "womanizer" should arrive on Monday. Hopefully I will have some sort of review on Tuesday.


Oooh, I can't wait to hear what happens! Is she accepting of new toys or does it make her anxious. Does she know it's coming? You could blindfold her and surprise her. Remember, placement on the clitoris is key! And don't push hard. Let it rest gently against her, just enough to make a seal against the skin.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

UMP said:


> I think your idea is a great one!
> In fact, I just ordered the w500. Not cheap.


Sooo? Wasn't yesterday "Taco Tuesday' ?:grin2: How did it go? The suspense is killing me!


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

wantshelp said:


> Sooo? Wasn't yesterday "Taco Tuesday' ?:grin2: How did it go? The suspense is killing me!


Yes, but did not get the womanizer yet. Late in shipping.
Hopefully will be up and running for tomorrow.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Update on the "womanizer"
Used it last night before PIV. She liked it, but as always, wife says she needs none of this stuff. Says "This is for women who don't have a man." "It feels good, but I would have an orgasm too fast."
So, basically she likes it but has no desire for me to use it while we are having sex AND she shows no interest in using it alone.

Insists that she does not need to masturbate because she has me.

I guess that's good, I guess.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

UMP said:


> Update on the "womanizer"
> Used it last night before PIV. She liked it, but as always, wife says she needs none of this stuff. Says "This is for women who don't have a man." "It feels good, but I would have an orgasm too fast."
> So, basically she likes it but has no desire for me to use it while we are having sex AND she shows no interest in using it alone.
> 
> ...


Wow, thanks for the update. Interesting that having an orgasm too fast is a problem for her, considering woman can have multiple.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

wantshelp said:


> Wow, thanks for the update. Interesting that having an orgasm too fast is a problem for her, considering woman can have multiple.


Her reasoning is probably based on the fact that she is usually "one and done." If she were to orgasm too fast than, in her mind, that's the end of it. She would rather prolong getting to orgasm during regular sex.
I can see her point. I guess it's a great go to if she is tired and having a difficult time getting to orgasm.

Just another tool in the tool box. I like tools. :grin2:


----------



## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

Deleted


----------



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

OliviaG said:


> So, did she O with it or did she not, because she thought she would O too quickly, therefore refused?


 @OliviaG - Clear your inbox, don't make grandma ask again :loser:


----------



## RainbowBrite (Dec 30, 2015)

Deleted


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OliviaG said:


> So, did she O with it or did she not, because she thought she would O too quickly, therefore refused?


I used it during foreplay and she did enjoy, but told me to stop and go PIV. Yes, she said it would induce a premature orgasm for her.


----------



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I think a surprising number of women can't - or at least don't want to. My wife never wants a second, and I've seen a bunch of posts here form other women who are the same. 





wantshelp said:


> Wow, thanks for the update. Interesting that having an orgasm too fast is a problem for her, considering woman can have multiple.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I think a surprising number of women can't - or at least don't want to. My wife never wants a second, and I've seen a bunch of posts here form other women who are the same.


Or perhaps it's just an acquired taste. Time will tell.

Maybe some people don't like wine. If their experience is limited to $5.00 bottle wines, the chances of changing are slim. Introduce some $25.00 bottle wines and chances get better.

I am trying to become a $25.00 bottle of wine and hopefully sometimes achieve $100.00 a bottle 5 star status.


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

UMP your wife discovered something that excited her. I think it's wonderful and you should enjoy being the center of her lust and attention. It's very sexy watching your man and knowing you have given that to him. Enjoy folks.>


----------

