# Good Cop Bad Cop Parenting.



## 7roninz (Feb 2, 2012)

im getting furious of my wife lately. my 2 year old todd begin to hate me because im playing the bad cop roll all the time . i can't stand my wife for pissing me off sometime. she is too kind to my son and giving him too much freedom. she don't correct him and i have to step in all the time to remove my son from achieving his dangerous objectives.

when my son gets too close with my step mother , she became jealous and i sort it out for her by standing strong on her side by removing my son time with my step mom so that my child will get back to my wife for the mother's care. 

when she had achieved that, her punching bag is now focusing on me . she had won heart and mind of my child but she fails to notice that she made me a victim and i became my son enemy now. my son dislike me and asking me to go away . 

my wife is self fish bastard and i am so mad that i had lost my son love for me because of her. she will unleash my evil side and makes me nag . i already given up explaining to her that she can't be the good cop all the time and it will only hurt the boy next time . 

she's stubborn and also an idiot to me. she will never apologize even though i had made sense to her and she will only kept quite and not even a sorry. feel like slapping her now.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

No matter how angry you are with your wife, calling her a bastard and an idiot solves nothing. I hope you keep your hands to yourself.

Nobody makes you nag either. You come across as very abusive.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow. Two year olds don't hate. They CAN sense negativity and 'meanness' so maybe that's all it is. Your child senses your attitude and is SCARED of you.

You sound unstable at the moment. Is there someone you can talk to?


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## 7roninz (Feb 2, 2012)

i don't have anyone to talk too. im very depressed and perhaps it's good to learn something from you all . i expressed in the negative because it's the way it was. there's no other words to described my anger .if there's any word to replace such anger than i wish to learn . 

i guess u were right that child don't hate and i realized that he will forgot everything the next day but he still don't really like to be with me when he's doing his own stuff. he will only address me when he needed something like : high! high! ... means he want me to throw him up.

in my state, i do know one thing about my wife , she is using this to hurt my feeling sometimes. sigh! there was this time when i let her control everything since she wanted to bond with the child but she was mad that i don't help and she allow the chilld to wander loose in a shopping mall and go against the tide. we were suppose to go north but she allow my son to go south and causing me to make a U-turn. why can't she just grab the child and move to the north direction rather than causing me to wait for them..she did it on purpose.

i have this weakness where i can always read and judge human personality just like in the movie lie to me. I always get
mad when i start to see things in between. people don't really good in hiding in emotion and their action makes me see thru it. and i am always temperamental when i get to look at their nasty side not really well hidden.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

What you are describing related to your child is typical toddler behavior. Children aged 2 to 4ish and beyond can be selfish, manipulating, and just plain mean. You are the adult, you must guide them and teach them right/wrong. You are blaming your wife for your child's normal behavior. But your wife shares the responsible in teaching your son right/wrong and it sounds like she's having a difficult time with boundaries. You both need to be consistent with discipline. 

Toddlers can take a toll on a parent... But you two need to band together and raise the child as a team.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 7roninz (Feb 2, 2012)

Cherry said:


> What you are describing related to your child is typical toddler behavior. Children aged 2 to 4ish and beyond can be selfish, manipulating, and just plain mean. You are the adult, you must guide them and teach them right/wrong. You are blaming your wife for your child's normal behavior. But your wife shares the responsible in teaching your son right/wrong and it sounds like she's having a difficult time with boundaries. You both need to be consistent with discipline.
> 
> Toddlers can take a toll on a parent... But you two need to band together and raise the child as a team.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


thanks cherry, will take your advise seriously and hope more to come. yes my wife had lost her sense of right and wrong sometimes. she let my child cross certain boundaries which is now tormenting at times. for eg. i was driving and lost in direction due to bad signage . i need some concentration to navigate our way out and here goes my son shouting and screaming at me to change the song to his fav song . he keeps repeating the same thing until i am so fed up with my wife for not guiding my son like saying things "daddy is driving , he will change for u later". she just sat there doing nothing. well , i know she is testing my temper or letting my son gets into me because i had scolded her earlier for not directing the child to north side while we were shopping.

so i guess, i need to find some time out as well. tq


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Do you have parenting classes where you are? It may benefit the two of you to discuss your frustrations in front of a third party... In the instance with the child screaming at you in the car, your wife could've done more to soothe him, but perhaps instead of you scolding your wife like she's a child herself, you could calmly ask her to help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 7roninz (Feb 2, 2012)

yeah what u said was true but i snap . i guess the kid tantrum really had me . i was tolerating my child tantrum for 1 minute and it snap. that's the danger of toleration as well , just like rubber band. i have no clue of handling the situation when u r lost in the middle of the road and the anger built up like a time bomb waiting to explode. i never expect that coming u know.


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