# Had overprotective "psychologist-like" mom, probably burdened wife with this...



## onceler1 (May 15, 2015)

*Had overprotective "psychologist-like" mom, probably burdened wife with this...*

One of the biggest challenges for me and my marriage was I was overprotected, emotionally, by my mom. She did warn me often through my adolescence not to expect the same from a spouse, so I understand what's going on, I think...

But basically, I think my biggest challenge is, whenever something upsets me, it gets bigger and bigger in my head til it is terribly frightening, and then I go and complain to my wife about it, in such a way I think it makes her feel as though I expect her to fix it. Probably because it's the same habit I had with my mom. My mom probably reinforced the need to complain all the time.

I know I'm worlds better than I was just a few years ago. But it still happens.

For instance, even though most things are good with my marriage, my wife doesn't want kids (she's 37). I'm sort of agnostic about it because I was a single child growing up, and wasn't around that many other people. I like quiet and isolation. So I can imagine a future without kids.

However, I do care about humanity, I care about Western civilization and I've somewhat bought into a lot of the alarmism going on out there about other cultures having WAY more kids than us.

So sometimes I panic and think I should divorce my wife and all the good that our marriage has, JUST so I can find somebody else to have kids.

That sounds like a colossal mistake to me. Maybe we'll adopt after all.


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