# Do you think l should just give date sites a miss ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

l know a lot of people here use dating sites and some enjoy them and do quite well . So l don't mean this in a way of running them down for you and if it gells for you , why the hell not !
But just personally though , l'm just having real trouble taking to them and l'm wondering if l'm just going against the grain and should l just stay the hell away from them.

l haven't been serious about it really as yet but l have joined a few , then dropped out but just this last few wks restarted again. I'm at crossroads right now see and if x and l don't look like R then l wouldn't mind meeting someone .

Trouble is , there's sweet FA talent in my area, they are around but getting any contact's another story. So date sites seem logical but l just don't like them.
I just find all the unrealistic wants and demands made by the girls - when you see them , l dunno the vibe coming through, all these mile long descriptions about me me me , it all just puts me off to be honest .

Dunno how the hell l meet someone round here if l'm not on one but do you think l should just stay away from them seems they don't agree with me ?
Do they agree with you ?


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Whitehawk I joined a dating site a week and a half ago. I don't think these sites are for everyone but how do you meet people if you are not a bar fly?

Maybe you should take a different outlook on this sites. I think my outlook is working well for me. I am looking for friendship first with no expecations of a relationship happening. 

I am just enjoying talking and meeting people. Now some meeting have been a bad deal. From now on if I'm not interested, I am just going to come right out and say it and not let a bad date drag on.

Hang in there awhile with no expectations and see what happens.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Tomara said:


> Whitehawk I joined a dating site a week and a half ago. I don't think these sites are for everyone but how do you meet people if you are not a bar fly?
> 
> Maybe you should take a different outlook on this sites. I think my outlook is working well for me. I am looking for friendship first with no expecations of a relationship happening.
> 
> ...


 I retract my statement above. I am suppose to have a date tomorrow night but there are some glaring red flags popping up like crazy. This guys is telling my I am the only on for him and so on and so forth. Then he tells me he knows I have a date with someone else tonight. He's upset about that. Looked him up on casenet.com and sure enough he has a stalking charge against him. It's like I drawn the strange/dangerous ones. I think I'm just going to hang out in the veggie isle at the grocery store. :scratchhead:


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Tomara said:


> I retract my statement above. I am suppose to have a date tomorrow night but there are some glaring red flags popping up like crazy. This guys is telling my I am the only on for him and so on and so forth. Then he tells me he knows I have a date with someone else tonight. He's upset about that. Looked him up on casenet.com and sure enough he has a stalking charge against him. It's like I drawn the strange/dangerous ones. I think I'm just going to hang out in the veggie isle at the grocery store. :scratchhead:


Meat and beer. Those the isles where the men are. Single fathers are in the frozen foods and cereal isles.:rofl:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Tomara said:


> I retract my statement above. I am suppose to have a date tomorrow night but there are some glaring red flags popping up like crazy. This guys is telling my I am the only on for him and so on and so forth. Then he tells me he knows I have a date with someone else tonight. He's upset about that. Looked him up on casenet.com and sure enough he has a stalking charge against him. It's like I drawn the strange/dangerous ones. I think I'm just going to hang out in the veggie isle at the grocery store. :scratchhead:


Sorry to disappoint you, but even the freaks need to buy groceries... Just because you meet someone in real life first doesn't mean they're any safer.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

EnjoliWoman said:


> Single fathers are in the frozen foods and cereal isles.:rofl:


I can confirm this as a single dad. Me & my son are all about frozen foods section. Coffee, lunch meat, cheese, and fruit juice sections are also regular haunts.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> I can confirm this as a single dad. Me & my son are all about frozen foods section. Coffee, lunch meat, cheese, and fruit juice sections are also regular haunts.



See, I can't even get the right isle. Think it would be obvious if I hung around the K-Y Jel isle.:rofl: Sorry, I'm cracking myself up right now. Small minds amuse easy


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

PBear said:


> Sorry to disappoint you, but even the freaks need to buy groceries... Just because you meet someone in real life first doesn't mean they're any safer.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Need to add church in that group too.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yep go the frozen foods . Speaking of shopping , would you believe l've had some of the nicest encounters in my super market.
Mines a real discount market and l often think the hottest girls mustn't have much money because l'm sure they all shop here, it's full of them :smthumbup:

l move along very slowly !


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Tomara said:


> I retract my statement above. I am suppose to have a date tomorrow night but there are some glaring red flags popping up like crazy. This guys is telling my I am the only on for him and so on and so forth. Then he tells me he knows I have a date with someone else tonight. He's upset about that. Looked him up on casenet.com and sure enough he has a stalking charge against him. It's like I drawn the strange/dangerous ones. I think I'm just going to hang out in the veggie isle at the grocery store. :scratchhead:


Hopefully you will being telling him that you changed your mind. Does he know where you live? I hope not.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Probably the stupidest question ever to hit Tam anyway but ah well :scratchhead:

But yeah that's the thing T isn't it , how to meet people otherwise .
l know all the getting out more stuff , go to the right places bla bla but you know, like you can't usually chase this stuff anyway don't you think ! Like yeah you might end up bringing someone home but the right stuff usually just happens when you least expect it doesn't it. Personally l've always found you can't make the good stuff happen .

The sites are probably way different for the girls and admittedly they probably have to write it up like that or they'll get bombarded l guess.
l have big photo problems too , everyone knows everyone round here , a lot of them are all over these sites. l'm a bit weird about plastering a photo all over the net for all to see and read my stuff myself .

Funny , l'd still so love to just ask T out , a girl l know and we've talked about here , it's just she knows x and everyone's right, could get messy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> l know a lot of people here use dating sites and some enjoy them and do quite well . So l don't mean this in a way of running them down for you and if it gells for you , why the hell not !
> But just personally though , l'm just having real trouble taking to them and l'm wondering if l'm just going against the grain and should l just stay the hell away from them.
> 
> l haven't been serious about it really as yet but l have joined a few , then dropped out but just this last few wks restarted again. I'm at crossroads right now see and if x and l don't look like R then l wouldn't mind meeting someone .
> ...


Those long profiles... ignore them. Of course they are me me me. That's what they are about ... the sites tell people to fill out the forms with info about themselves. 

The trick with on-line dating is numbers and getting off-line as soon as you can. You will most likely need to meet a few women before you find one you click with. So just exchange a few emails and then make a date if she's even half interesting. Meet her for coffee. The first date needs to be very low key and short... half an hour, hour max. This way if she's a dud you can end the date and get out of there. You each drive there yourself and leave by your self. You will find out more about a person on a short, in-person date then you will chatting on-line.

On-line is just a way to meet people. It should not be a high pressure thing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

One way to meet people is to either throw a party or have a weekly (or bi-weekly) night out. You invite 3-4 friends. Tell them that they need to invite 3-4 friends as well... opposite sex friends. So now you have a mixed group of singles out for happy hour, or a bbq. Low pressure.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Those long profiles... ignore them. Of course they are me me me. That's what they are about ... the sites tell people to fill out the forms with info about themselves.
> 
> The trick with on-line dating is numbers and getting off-line as soon as you can. You will most likely need to meet a few women before you find one you click with. So just exchange a few emails and then make a date if she's even half interesting. Meet her for coffee. The first date needs to be very low key and short... half an hour, hour max. This way if she's a dud you can end the date and get out of there. You each drive there yourself and leave by your self. You will find out more about a person on a short, in-person date then you will chatting on-line.
> 
> On-line is just a way to meet people. It should not be a high pressure thing.


Ele yeah good point but when you say ignore them do you mean ignore those type of profiles or the other way ?
Thanks for the tips anyway.

Yeah could go a few parties that's for sure. hmmm.
Might give that some thought actually , there'd only be about three people - bring your friends for God sake :rofl: but hey , gotta start somewhere :smthumbup: 
l could seriously go for a bit of fun right now though .
How odd , partying's mainly what got me into trouble but how ironic , they were mostly friends from interstate and even the two local ones have moved away to now.
They've invited me over for stays heaps of times actually , maybe l should get the hell outa here for awhile and take them up on it.
They drink - a lot :rofl:


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

You know parties have been the best way and fun of meeting girls or for them guys to l guess, in the past.
When l think about it back in my single days a friend and l use to go clubbing a fair bit . Spent a fortune and never met anyone worthwhile once.

But then one night l had to do some laundry, he tagged along , we met someone at the laundromat no less , he invited us to a party.
From there it snowballed and turned into hundreds of people and the only question any Friday or Sat night was what parties are on.
That went on for a couple of years , girls and guys everywhere . We never went to another club. Sometimes the night would start of at a pub though until someone mentioned a party. 
Hmm, that's what we need people, parties .
We had that much fun , girls were layed on , my friend met his wife at one eventually .


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Tomara said:


> Need to add church in that group too.


Nix the church idea, my mom met a man at church, turns out he was an alcoholic and a thief....yep, she never dated another man after that, and that was 25 years ago...lol


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> Ele yeah good point but when you say ignore them do you mean ignore those type of profiles or the other way ?
> Thanks for the tips anyway.


I mean to ignore most of the stuff in the profiles. The women probably feel really weird about their own profiles anyway. Stay away from the obvious bunny boilers, but the rest are just filing out a form and using too may words.

Remember, if the profile is very slick, she is probably a dating site junky with a new guy every week. This type of woman knows how to write a slick profile. Be careful of those. The ones with awkward profiles are probably genuine women who are as confused by all this as you are.


whitehawk said:


> Yeah could go a few parties that's for sure. hmmm.
> Might give that some thought actually , there'd only be about three people - bring your friends for God sake :rofl: but hey , gotta start somewhere :smthumbup:
> l could seriously go for a bit of fun right now though .
> How odd , partying's mainly what got me into trouble but how ironic , they were mostly friends from interstate and even the two local ones have moved away to now.
> ...


Shoot, if they invite you go. You need the change.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Tomara said:


> Need to add church in that group too.


Yeah, I think the religious freaks would be the scariest of them all! 

C


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

working_together said:


> Nix the church idea, my mom met a man at church, turns out he was an alcoholic and a thief....yep, she never dated another man after that, and that was 25 years ago...lol


Really , so much for church goers then hey :scratchhead:
Wish I was one actually , lots of people , plenty of opps to chat - hu, they'd throw me out :lol:


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

PBear said:


> Yeah, I think the religious freaks would be the scariest of them all!
> 
> C



Hey , the only girl l have spent time with since our split was a Catholic . Did l laugh to myself when she told me.
Smoked weed till sun up , drank like a fish, swore like a sailor , there ya go :smthumbup: Didn't think religious people were spose to do this stuff .
She wasn't rough , quite lady like actually, very feminine and petite, that made it even funnier .


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I mean to ignore most of the stuff in the profiles. The women probably feel really weird about their own profiles anyway. Stay away from the obvious bunny boilers, but the rest are just filing out a form and using too may words.
> 
> Remember, if the profile is very slick, she is probably a dating site junky with a new guy every week. This type of woman knows how to write a slick profile. Be careful of those. The ones with awkward profiles are probably genuine women who are as confused by all this as you are.
> 
> Shoot, if they invite you go. You need the change.




Ahh right yeah l can relate to what your saying alright . 
But awkwardness is fine with me anyway, mines been hell . l often wondered about the awkward ones , sometimes l took it as they didn't even bother to do it better but it's probably more like mine- l'm trying l'm trying , that things not easy :scratchhead:

Reckon I should go then hu. Nice people , when l say drink a lot they're actually very well off. Got this gorgeous huge house on 2 acs. But thy do like a good time which is fine with me.
Had a text from them just the other night actually asking again , something going on in a few wks . l might go , why not.
They're an hr and 1/2 away so it'd also be a great change of scenery .


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> Ahh right yeah l can relate to what your saying alright .
> But awkwardness is fine with me anyway, mines been hell . l often wondered about the awkward ones , sometimes l took it as they didn't even bother to do it better but it's probably more like mine- l'm trying l'm trying , that things not easy :scratchhead:
> 
> Reckon I should go then hu. Nice people , when l say drink a lot they're actually very well off. Got this gorgeous huge house on 2 acs. But thy do like a good time which is fine with me.
> ...


Go, have fun. It sounds like you need it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Whitehawk,

I personally do not use, nor have I ever used a dating site. It does not "go with me" as you stated and I prefer to meet people the normal way. 

Internet dating has never piqued my interest.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

If you're a single guy, and don't have full custody of your kids, you should not need a dating site. That's my personal take.

Pick up some interesting hobbies, and you will have more date opportunities than you know what to do with.

Just having passion in life and getting out of your house can make you immediately attractive.

Some notable "target rich" hobbies I got involved with:

1. BYOB painting classes
2. Ballroom dancing/Salsa/Argentine Tango
3. Yoga

Dancing was pretty awesome and even ugly, smelly, perverted old men are highly coveted because no girl wants to sit out in a class.

Don't try to "find a girl", live a more interesting life and they will find you.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I think online dating is great for some people but you need the right, positive mindset and a good sense of humor.

Personally i had a blast, met some nice guys, went out for dinners, cycling etc. There were no shortage of men that were interested but it is much easier being a female online dating than a male.

But I am totally biased as I met the most amazing man from online dating, if I hadn't of had the nerve to give it a go I would have never met him. 

Oh and online dating is one of the "normal" ways these days, it is probably more normal than some of the past ways to meet people such as bars, parties etc.


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## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

Gotta respond to this. Whitehawk: 

Make your goal with the dating sites to just find a friend or five. Have fun with it and don't take it too seriously. Make your profile short, concise, witty and honest. Do the profile when you are in a good mood. The photos: take about 300 pictures of yourself at different angles and different times and pick out the three or four best ones. EVERYONE has a good angle. 

Browse the female profiles and message every single one of them that you like in any way. Don't look too deep in these profiles. The point is to get you meeting people. If you basically like how she looks and what she says, don't let some detail in her profile throw you off. Just write her. These messages should be short, include something about her profile that you noticed and which many people might not talk about. ANY witty comment. Just write it and don't worry abut it. 

When my wife and I were separated and divorce looked imminent, I hit up three of those sites and in a couple weeks got dozens of responses, and six phone numbers from the best of the responses. Two of those managed to last through our mutual filtering process, and I was ready to start dating these two women while also pulling in additional candidates to the phone # pool. And that, moving really slow. I wanted to give as much a chance to my marriage as possible. Wife and I decided to reconcile and at that very moment I yanked my profile from the sites and called both women and told them I would not longer be talking to them because of the reconciliation. 

The utility of dating sites is really that you can filter through thousands of women by browsing the sites, then filter the ones that respond/write you through email, and further filter over the phone before you even meet one of them. For me, it took a lot of the impact out of the pain of separation. It is like a hobby.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Why in God's name would you be out looking for women if there was even a chance you could get back together with your wife. Seriously dude, not cool.


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## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

COguy said:


> Why in God's name would you be out looking for women if there was even a chance you could get back together with your wife. Seriously dude, not cool.


Because she said there was not even a chance. Repeatedly. Until I looked for women. Then she changed her mind.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

ohno said:


> Because she said there was not even a chance. Repeatedly. Until I looked for women. Then she changed her mind.


I made this just for you:


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## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

COguy said:


> I made this just for you:


If only the full complexity of peoples personalities and the dynamics of interpersonal relations and all of the separately manifold and collective incredibly complicated factors that go into each decision could simply be solved by a simple flow chart! I doubt any of us would be on this forum or would have any problems in our relationships.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

COguy said:


> I made this just for you:


Haha! Awesome!


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