# Will Separation be best



## eastla101 (Jan 10, 2011)

My wife and I are having problems for a while. After numerous of fights, we had a blowout , where all the truth came out. She said she Loves me, but doesnt Love me. She doesnt see me with does love eyes anymore. Basically see me like another person, but is the father of our child. During Sex, see thinks or fantasies about other people, she has no affection or love towards me during sex, she admitted this has been going on for awhile, honestly this bothers me alot since i always think about her during sex, and the last thing i want is my wife to be thinking about someone else during sex. Am I wrong for thinking this way?

She feels we are too apart, two different people. I'm more of the calm person, she more of the outgoing person. I'm not the romantic type and she wants that. I did agree to change, a few weeks ago, i been trying, but at this point she admits it to late. She states i'm a great person, a great father and i dont deserve this and she feels guilty because its hurting me inside, but she doesnt know she loves me anymore..


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## eastla101 (Jan 10, 2011)

*Re: Will Separation be best? please help...*



eastla101 said:


> My wife and I are having problems for a while. After numerous of fights, we had a blowout , where all the truth came out. She said she Loves me, but doesnt Love me. She doesnt see me with does love eyes anymore. Basically see me like another person, but is the father of our child. During Sex, see thinks or fantasies about other people, she has no affection or love towards me during sex, she admitted this has been going on for awhile, honestly this bothers me alot since i always think about her during sex, and the last thing i want is my wife to be thinking about someone else during sex. Am I wrong for thinking this way?
> 
> She feels we are too apart, two different people. I'm more of the calm person, she more of the outgoing person. I'm not the romantic type and she wants that. I did agree to change, a few weeks ago, i been trying, but at this point she admits it to late. She states i'm a great person, a great father and i dont deserve this and she feels guilty because its hurting me inside, but she doesnt know she loves me anymore..


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## olddeer (Nov 1, 2010)

You know I am at the exact, and I mean pretty much exact same place your wife is at. How long have you guys been married? I hope it's been 6-7 years. Because, if it has been, I strongly believe that you can save it.
You have to remind her of all those good times. You have to love her. I strongly mean LOVE her, show her that love because "darn" it many of you men don't. 
I told my husband that at the 7 year mark and nothing...at the 8 year mark...nothing...I made him/us go to counseling but nothing...and you know what? Now at 12 years, I am like your wife, no feelings at all for him. When sex comes into the picture, (Oh, I should say did come into the picture - yeah, nothing for almost the past 2 years now), I too do not think of him.
So, if he would have brought the love, romance, cooed me, showed me that he truly loved me, wanted me, he could have found me then. Now, it's too late, I'm 90% sure. The 10% is for my 11 year old daughter. 
So go and get her back, LOVE HER eastla101.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

My wife is also in the same place after 23 years. We tried several times but eventually went back to the old ways. Now she want to end the marriage and it hit me like a ton on bricks.

I have be learning allot about what it takes to have a good marriage and I am truly ready to make the changes from the inside to make my wife happy.

Unfortunately, she says its too little too late. I should have made the changes years ago. I am still trying anyway in hopes she will see I am consistent with doing the things necessary to have a good marriage.

I cant imagine a life without her so I have changed my behaviour.

If its not too late, you need to start finding ways to connect with your wife. Ask her what her needs are and make it a priority to meet them. Worry about your needs later. Right now you want her to look at you and see the person she once fell in love with
;this is one place to start.


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## olddeer (Nov 1, 2010)

I really hope you two can save your marriages. troy you really sound like you are on the right track and I honestly hope, it works. I have no feelings at all for my husband, mind you he is doing nothing and I really do not believe that there is any hope even if he did all that you are doing. It's just too late, 6 years later. I don't love him anymore, he's not my friend. I want more out of a husband. Good luck. Be everything and more. Remember why she fell in love with you and BE MORE. Be real.


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## kdruark (Feb 2, 2011)

I know exactly how u feel. My husband of 2 1/2 years recently told me basically the same thing. He loves me as a person but he isnt in love with me anymore. We have been together for 5 yrs and I know he loved me before, I am trying so hard to show him that I have changed and putting his needs first. I feel like I am failing in everyway but I am trying to hold on. We have a son to be born in 2 months and I really hope that can change his mind and make him fall back in love with me. I really think that my husband just needs to time to be a guy and single basically, (we got married at age 20). I dated and stuff in hs and he didnt. So basically I am sitting here waiting for divorce papers (which he says he doesnt want) or for him to come back. Its hard but try to hold your head up and show unconditional love towards your spouse no matter what. Thats what Im trying.


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