# Married 6.5 years, No Sex for Almost 3



## Cc1794 (Feb 28, 2013)

I'm not sure how to compile this disaster of a marriage, but here it goes. I've been married six years. We have three kids. I love my kids but each one has been unplanned. Bc pills make me sick, and I had no idea we were so fertile. So, after I found out I was pregnant with my last child I didn't tell my husband for a week I was so mad. I had bought him condoms, but he chose not to use them. We decided he would get a vasectomy, but he hasn't. The guy can take 50 trips a month to Home Depot, but can't find the time to pick up a phone to make an appt. 

For 2 months I tried so hard. Near perfect hygiene for a person that works FT while running all these kids around. OS multiple times a week. We had another talk about the vasectomy surgery - does he really want to have it, etc. the answer has been Yes every time. I'm exhausted. He rarely helps me with the kids, my work issuffering and he doesn't seem to care because his job is going so well. 

I was angry, then I tried and now I'm getting angry again. I have to say, I don't think he's attracted. I don't know what to do.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Hi Cc,

Congrats, I guess? You poor thing. Right now you're seeing everything through exhausted, disappointed and angry eyes. You will get through this! 

You know the first 12 weeks you are beyond exhausted, yes he should be more on top of things, more proactive in helping. Apparently he thinks your so experienced by now.... you got this!

Leave a note for him. Tell him exactly what you want him to do. Tell him exactly when you want it done. Once you begin to feel less drained, it's time for a heart to heart because this husband has placed a baby in your that your weren't planning for and are now totally overwhelmed by. His lack of respect for your need and wishes MUST be addressed.... And then forgotten. You can't hold this over his head the rest of your child's life.

Get some sleep tonight and come back tomorrow and post again. Tell me more about some ways you could cut some stress out of your day to make things easier.

You will get through this.... But you H may get a little battered in the process, no more than he deserves!


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## Wendy1 (Feb 20, 2013)

Cc1794 said:


> I'm not sure how to compile this disaster of a marriage, but here it goes. I've been married six years. We have three kids. I love my kids but each one has been unplanned. Bc pills make me sick, and I had no idea we were so fertile. So, after I found out I was pregnant with my last child I didn't tell my husband for a week I was so mad. I had bought him condoms, but he chose not to use them. We decided he would get a vasectomy, but he hasn't. The guy can take 50 trips a month to Home Depot, but can't find the time to pick up a phone to make an appt.
> 
> For 2 months I tried so hard. Near perfect hygiene for a person that works FT while running all these kids around. OS multiple times a week. We had another talk about the vasectomy surgery - does he really want to have it, etc. the answer has been Yes every time. I'm exhausted. He rarely helps me with the kids, my work issuffering and he doesn't seem to care because his job is going so well.
> 
> I was angry, then I tried and now I'm getting angry again. I have to say, I don't think he's attracted. I don't know what to do.


You need to make sure you dont get pregnant again, like staarz21 mentioned there lots other way you can protect yourself. If he doesn't like using protection you have to protect yourself, please don't let this issue destroy you family, if he is a good father and a husband work on your marriage.. good luck


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## Cc1794 (Feb 28, 2013)

I get the symptoms of someone taking a super high dose like the morning after pill. My last child was conceived in between packs, going from a high dose ( new dr) to a lower dose. I also have a vascular disease and it sets it off. I did go on them again during my 2 month seduction attempt and I mentioned I was sick. He asked why I was on them. 

He will initiate rarely. Once a week normally Sat. I flirt. He knows I have made an effort with appearance, keeping our room clean and trying to act like the kids are under control. We talked about me getting my 'tubes tied' but he said no. All three kids were c section, and they pump air into your repro area, not sure of all effects. 

My husband is sort of medium sex drive. No porn. Business type, high stress job.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

How about you make the appointment for his 'snip' yourself. Be proactive! He's already said he's happy to do it... you can't really blame him for not rushing for the opportunity to be snipped in his most delicate bits!

I also have three children (1st and 3rd are 'pill babies')...while I was pregnant with the 3rd I told H if he ever ever ever wanted sex in the future he needed to do the right thing, as in, take his turn at being the one responsible for birth control and get the snip. After 20+ years of having to be the one to take care of BC.. I really did feel it was his turn. The permanent op for men is also cheaper and less invasive than tubal ligation.

I made his appointment and drove him there. I held his hand...while the doc held his other bits and.... bobs your uncle.... a couple of months later he's shooting blanks and were home free!

It's been the best thing EVER! He says so more than me!

Sex is so much more fun FOR BOTH OF US when pregnancy isn't a concern.

Book him in, take him there, hold his hand and then pamper him for a few days. Also let him know how awesome he is for taking responsibility and being a good H!

3 years is insane to go without sex...for any couple. It will kill your marriage/love if you let it go on. 

Goodluck!


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## Wendy1 (Feb 20, 2013)

Cc1794 said:


> I get the symptoms of someone taking a super high dose like the morning after pill. My last child was conceived in between packs, going from a high dose ( new dr) to a lower dose. I also have a vascular disease and it sets it off. I did go on them again during my 2 month seduction attempt and I mentioned I was sick. He asked why I was on them.
> 
> He will initiate rarely. Once a week normaly Sat. I flirt. He knows I have made an effort with appearance, keeping our room clean and trying to act like the kids are under control. We talked about me getting my 'tubes tied' but he said no. All three kids were c section, and they pump air into your repro area, not sure of all effects.
> 
> My husband is sort of medium sex drive. No porn. Business type, high stress job.


If you really want your tubes to be tied-up you should first talk a doctor about it, and then see if you qualify for it and your C-sections wont be problem. it seems husband is a man and hardworking so encourage to be more responsible with other things.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

So your husband told you that you can't get your tubes tied? Uhhh who's choice is it really especially if he won't get snipped and you don't want more kids?

Something is not right here or we're not getting all the infomation


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