# How far out do you tell people?



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I had a thought as I was coming home from my younger daughters preschool orientation. How many people do you tell about an impending divorce? I think W mentioned to the preschool teachers about what was going on, as we are friends with some of them. Do you tell the school teachers? The school nurse or principal? I don't anticipate any issues between my W and myself, but things that happen in the home affect school and social life for the kids too. If questions or issues come up in the classroom, having an understanding of the issues they are facing may help them in a situation at school or girl scouts, or something.

What do you think? Should we expose our situation in these instances or not? What have you all done?


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## Flame (Sep 11, 2009)

Hi,
In my case, we told close family members, preschool teachers (for youngest kid), teacher of oldest kid, and parents of the kids' friends. The difficult part is when they look at you with that look on their face, or even when they say, "What happened?" or "Wow I didn't see that coming." After they know, at least in my case, I feel like they are taking sides as to which parent they might like better. That hurts too. Good luck.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

I told the teachers. They wanted to know things like, "If he comes for the children, what should I do?" and of course, I said, "Let them go with him? He's still their father." They mostly want to know what their role is in the entire fiasco.

Shoot. We had some of his relatives come to stay with us and I thought they didn't know because we were all having a nice time together and I mentioned it to them and they said, "Oh, he told us. But you two get along so well, it is really a shame!" LOL!


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

Flame: Yes, we have had that reaction pretty much from everyone we have told so far. I guess we all keep the dirty laundry in the closet, huh? I never thought of the taking sides issue. Its a hard thing to say, as you dont' want to subconsiously say anything that paints a bad light on things to make people uncomfortable around the family, but others have a right to know.

We will probably tell the rest of the close contacts with the kids so if issues come up, they are aware if it and can help, like you say M22. I'd just hate to have them get hammered by someone and then get the teacher blindsided by not knowing. 

Plus, like you say dobo, they need to know about being around each of us. There are plenty of divorces that are agressive or abusive in nature, so they need to know that we are working for amicability in this, and that neither of us needs to be away from the kids.


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