# Give and take...



## Momof3kids (Nov 24, 2009)

I'm wondering about the dynamic between other couples out there in terms of giving and receiving during sex. I am a "giver" by nature. I get turned on by turning on my partner. Doing this, that, and the other for him are highly erotic for me... Not that I don't like to receive, mind you, but a lot of what works for me is being in tune with what my partner wants/needs/enjoys. With so many issues of frequency and/or quality of sex, I wonder if the root problem with sex goes back to basic personality more than anything else. 

So my questions are: 

Do you consider yourself a giver or a receiver? If you asked your partner, would they agree?

Do you consider your partner to be a giver or receiver? Would they agree with your assessment?


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

I'm a giver for sure IMO. My biggest turn on is to get my wife turned on and ultimately orgasm. I could easily spend lots and lots of time on bringing her to orgasm over and over (with my mouth, fingers or toys) if she would let me. Quite often she'll just want a quickie and get it done and I'll be the insistent one wanting to get her off. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Also, out sexual positions are always dictated by what she wants and I'm pretty much okay with that because I'm happy to get what I can. 

So I'm a giver and always want to do what's going to make her enjoy it more even if I would prefer a different position, technique, etc. Would she agree? She might say I'm a taker because I'm a sex crazed maniac in her mind and I'm 'taking' sex more then she would prefer to have it.

I would have to say she's generally a taker during the sex act because of what I said. During sex when she's turned on it has little to do with how much I'm enjoying it. She is very particular about the positions, etc we do it whether or not she's going to have an orgasm. For her it's more about staying in her comfort zone then doing 'crazy' things like doggy style that she knows I love. She probably wouldn't agree again because in her mind the simple fact that she 'let's me' have sex with her makes her a giver.


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