# Increasing penis sensitivity / intercourse sensation?



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Looking for some real world, PRACTICAL methods for increasing penile sensitivity. 

By "practical" I mean I'd really rather not forego masturbation. I'm in my late 40's, and have changed nothing there as far as frequency or "force". I do use lubrication when masturbating. This has not changed. Frequency has not changed. What has changed is my sensitivity.

And now it is "getting in my head", and distracting me even more. 

I do not see abstaining from masturbation as a viable solution. First...I know I won't. Second, we both enjoy it too much (me...both alone and when we're together, and for her, when she watches me) to give up what is some really great "spice" for us.

I've tried to stay "hands off" for all but intercourse or oral with her. And it's just too damned tough. While it seems to help, slightly, with intercourse, the frustration over going a week or so without any orgasm just so I'm "hyper horny" leaves me entirely too flustered most days. Work is harder to concentrate on. Sleeping is much more difficult. I'm generally just in a crankier mood. And to be very honest, I guess I resent it...that I should have to go "without" because she hasn't put effort into exercises (she admitted as much).

But here's the issue...I know I've lost sensitivity. Coupled with the fact the W is not the tightest, and it makes intercourse, oftentimes, a LOT of work, requiring a lot of focus, just to complete. If anything goes "off" (get too hot...get distracted in the slightest), I can't complete.

I know her "tightness" is a bit of an issue for me...always has been I suppose, but lately, well, the "job" just isn't getting "done".

I'd mentioned it to her as gently as I could, once, a few years ago. She took it hard. I imagine it's akin to being told you have a small penis...only worse, since she seemed to equate that issue to the fact she had a hysterectomy (which for a while made her feel "less a woman"...total bullchit, we all know...but I hated making her think that way. She did kegals for a couple weeks, and then stopped I guess. I think I noticed a slight improvement, very slight, but that has since waned.

It has gotten bad enough that for the first time in our marriage, I am avoiding sex. It's not that she's unwilling, or has EVER given me a moment's flak about sex (in fact she initiates as much or more than I do, and has only "turned me down" to the tune of maybe a couple times a year), it's just that I know, that when we start, I'm in for a 30 minute minimum, working my azz off, sweating, and everything MUST be just "right" to finish phuck fest. And we both love that...sometimes. But every time? Dammit, it is a lot of work! I never feel that "oh crap...stop! I'm gonna cum too soon" sensation as I did before her. Never had to "think of other things" because it felt so good and wanted to delay orgasm. Now it is a very slowly building thing to where it is just a relief to be able to cum. 

I'm just not FEELING as much. And it is so frustrating. Frustrating enough lately that I'm avoiding sex. And for us, that SUCKS. We've never been like that. And we love to have sex together (but for me, this issue).

I had my T tested last week. Came in at 380. Not optimal by any means, but not low enough to justify replacement therapy.

Part of it is her "tightness". I've been extremely reluctant to approach her about this again...but may be able to now, because...

Because, part of it is my sensitivity. I want to find ways to both increase that AND increase the sensations I get during PIV and oral (even oral has been a little more difficult for me lately). So, she knows I'm having issues, and my T is not optimal. I believe, presented to her as THAT, as in "my issue", if we discuss ways for her to do exercises to tighten things, it may be much less an issue for her if it is "not her", but rather "my issue". You know..."hey babe, I'm having problems...and I want to work towards solutions and have a plan on what I need to do...can you help me as well?"

I don't know.

I'm in fair shape, but want to drop about 15 lbs. There was a time about 5 years ago where my sensitivity went through the roof. I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was 18 again. And I couldn't figure it out...until now I think. I'd given up smoking 5 years before that, so I doubt it took that long for that to have an effect. What I think did change about that time, was I was likely in the best shape of my life for about 6 months (before I had a knee injury). Looking back...I think the timing is about right. But I'm not sure. I didn't put it together at the time.

I'm sure being in great shape and carrying around 15 fewer pounds also increased my T levels at the time, and maybe that was it.

But, to do so again will take time. So, in the meantime....any recommendations? I've read about a "lotion" called "man1 man" that seems to increase sensitivity. Also, some mention of treating the "area" with vitamin E lotion or women's facial creams. I've also read a little on yohimbe, which is reported to help.

Guys...give it up. Tried any of this, and did it work? I've got a woman that loves to phuck my brains out. I want to love doing it again. I want to feel her.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Try Horny Goat Weed. It takes about a week to build up in your system. I use the brand from GNC. 3 to 4 capsules before sex really increases pleasure and orgasm intensity. People say it does other stuff but the only thing I've noticed is that it makes sex feel better. I can tell it definitly works because I feel kind of tingly right after taking it and I notice that my veins show more in my arms.

Yohimbe kind of works but it makes you feel anxious and it will keep you awake all night.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

There are creams that will help with tightening her up as well as exercises. She can also look into corrective surgury.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Abstaining from masturbation is free, has reportedly good results, and does not require invasive surgery, as well as avoiding seriously damaging wife's ego. Did your wife's change in tightness correlate with the loss of sensitivity? Or are you putting your declining sensitivity on her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Frame the kegels as part of her health, also deep squats. To prevent pelvic floor prolapse. My mom has that and it's just miserable. Kegels also will make wife more orgasmic. Tell her to do it for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

salamander said:


> Abstaining from masturbation is free, has reportedly good results, and does not require invasive surgery, as well as avoiding seriously damaging wife's ego. Did your wife's change in tightness correlate with the loss of sensitivity? Or are you putting your declining sensitivity on her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, I'm not "putting it on her". She was, however, not tight from day one. While not as much feeling as I'd have liked, certainly, we got the job done and had a great time doing so. However, it has always been with us that after a recovery period, I do like something that gives a little more "feeling" to me other than PIV (hj, bj, or mutual masturbation). Even when I do orgasm from PIV, I rarely get great pleasure from the feeling inside of her (unlike a bj or hj). And it turns into something where I'm able to "get close", and I just try like hell to get over the top because "I've worked this long for it...I need to get there!"

Also, masturbation, hj's or bj's do not feel as great as they once did. 

The loss of sensitivity seems to be coming with the age / lower testosterone territory for me. I'm going to work on that...but I know it will take months...maybe many months, before I see improvement in T levels and sensitivity through a little weight loss and some exercise. Need to drop 15, and need to get in better shape. That will take time. Hence the search for different things I, or we can do in the meantime to "shore up" what is quickly becoming a problem with no immediate solution.

It bothers her sometimes as well. Even when I feel zero frustration over it, it seems to "hit her" in a not great way. So, with that I ask...what is more ego damaging? Maybe asking for some help in that department to allow me to feel more, whereupon I'll certainly complete nearly every time and we have a mutually awesom sex life...OR....not saying anything, and hoping / waiting for things to get better on my end alone, with the result being more of the same?

I know it's a sensitive subject for women...the same as penis size is for guys. The difference I see, is oftentimes vaginal tightness can be changed with some effort and exercises...which would be beneficial for us both. 

On the flip side, the loss of sensitivity that is coming with age and lower testosterone is also a sensitive subject for ME. But I'm facing it head on and willing to do something about it. I'm not taking that as an ego hit. I didn't like telling her I have the hormone levels of an 80 year old man, but it is what it is. I want to discuss these things so things get better...not bury my (our) head in the sand, refusing to face it, and letting our awesome sex life fall by the wayside. 

I've typically had 5 to 7 orgasms a week (oftentimes more) my entire adult life. It's just the frequency that works for me. I do not want to give that up for one or two a week through PIV only. That will bring about sexual frustration on another level...for us both. We both enjoy all the other things we do when we're not doing PIV. She likes the same frequency. If we're not doing something together, I know she's taking care of herself as well. We are definately a "when we want one (an orgasm) we're going to have one" type couple. Together or alone...nothing is hidden. And it's amazing. And I want that to continue.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Why did she stop doing the exercises? Those are important for more than one reason.


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## WellyVamp (Apr 26, 2013)

If your wife has never been tight, you may have to accept that she is just a 'big girl'. Expecting her to be able to get he foof all tight is like expecting a man to make his penis somehow magically get fatter. 

Pelvic floor exercises may help a bit, but she can only work with what she has. I don't think it's fair to ask your partner to have surgery on their genitals! 

Sorry to hear about your situation though.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

So, if this was really a sensitivity issue, wouldnt you notice it when you masturbate as well? :scratchhead: Does it take you longer than it used to?


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Even the ancients knew that mismatched penis to vagina size was a bad idea: 

"According to the KS [Kama Sutra], man and woman are divided into three classes. Man can be classified as the hare man, the bull man and the horse man according to the size of his, um, lingam (I think you know where this is headed). But fear not, woman too can also be classified as a doe, a mare or a female elephant depending on the depth of her yoni .

All this means that there are three equal unions that can exist between a man and a woman depending on their sizes, and six unequal ones. They are as follows:

EQUAL
Men Women
Hare Deer
Bull Mare
Horse	Elephant


UNEQUAL
Men Women
Hare Mare
Hare Elephant
Bull	Deer
Bull	Elephant
Horse	Deer
Horse	Mare


Read more: The Kama Sutra - Part I - AskMen


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Two suggestions that may help:

1 - During intercourse have your wife keep her legs together. Doesn't matter if you are in missionary position of entering from behind. This adds some tightness.

2 - While you are engaged in foreplay, either kissing or performing oral on your wife, stimulate yourself. Edge if you can but at least keep a heightened state of stimulation in your penis. Do this until intercourse and it may lessen the time between penetration and ejaculation.


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## WellyVamp (Apr 26, 2013)

I've read the same thing Salamander. People come in different sizes, so it stands to reason that their bits and bobs would too. 

If a man happens to have a small penis, or a woman has a large vagina, they need to find people who 'fit' them, for want of a better word. 

Unless a weak pelvic floor is an issue, a 'larger' woman can't change her natural size. The same goes for 'smaller' men. I don't think surgery is the answer. Who on earth would put themselves through that unless they absolutely needed to for medical reasons?


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Kegels can actually be done incorrectly and cause worse situation than not doing them. Here is a product that was developed to strengthen the muscles for incontinence Intensity By Jopen - JO4710003 - A Place For Passion and it also has vibe stimulation for her enjoyment. It is also adjustable to fit a variety of women. 

Have you tried some of the products that have a warming or cooling effect? These products Penthouse Make Love Warming And Tingling Lubricant 5 oz. - TS1091357 - A Place For Passion are made to heighten sensitivity so a combo like this one, you could try either one to see which would work best. This is less expensive than KY's version of this.

I agree with the previous poster about having her keep her legs together for a tighter feel. This can be done in many different positions and you could have a lot of fun experimenting.

There is something to be said about compatibility, but if the difference is not too much, you may be able to find a solution with the partner you currently have.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Well, as an update...the W and I have touched on the subject a couple times now. Have done so in our usual way...calm and open.

I told her I was having problems, and it was getting frustrating for me, and I felt it was probably getting frustrating for her as well because she was feeling she could not please me (she said that was true...she was thinking that). Told her about what I feel are my present sensitivity issues. During the course of the conversation she asked "is it because I'm too loose?". I paused a moment and said, "I'm not sure, or at least that is not all or even most of it possibly...I don't know for sure babe". She asked me to be honest...were other women tighter than her? Tough damn question to answer, but I said some less so, some more so (which is true). And told her that I was definitely having sensitivity issues as of late.

I did reassure her that sex with her is the best I've ever had. And that is so true on so many levels it is not even funny. But yes, I was still having issues.

She did not seem hurt, insecure, and was certainly not angry. She seemed to handle it in a "matter of fact" way this time.

She said she has been doing the kegals. (In fact yesterday, while driving, she looked at me and said "I'm killing time doing some kegals now" and smiled.) Told her I thought recently I'd felt a little change there, but wasn't sure due to my sensitivity issues. She said that yes, she'd been doing them. Not religiously, but has been doing them.

Went into talking about my testosterne test (within "normal range" but in the bottom 5th percentile), how I felt it may be a problem with the sensitivity and desire, and what I wanted to do to correct that (lose 15 lbs, exercise).

The other part of this, was I asked her for help. Told her I wanted to remain "hands off" as much as possible (no solo masturbation) but for the occassional time together (because we both love to masturbate for each other / with each other). Explained to her that I was single for a lot of years, and abstinent (my choice, she knows the back story), and during that time, I relied on masturbation to the tune of once a day or so, so...I probably became too accustomed to my own touch, knowing exactly what I want and when, and that despite her skills, I could often feel the thought creep in that "I wish she would touch me this way...or do this". 

I told her I'd like to try remaining hands off...at least until my sensitivity hopefully returns, and that I wanted to rely almost completely on her touch (HJ, BJ, PIV) for orgasms until (or if) things normalize with me. Asked for her help here, inasmuch that in order to do this, I know if I need to go more than a few days, I'm going to be "in trouble" with staying hands off.

She said she understood and fairly enthusastically agreed. She said "Like I've got a problem wanting to make you cum!" 

It's hard to summarize here and portray the conversation(s) accurately, but that was the gist of it. It wasn't an easy conversation to have, but the fact we've always disussed hard issues fairly easily seemed to help.

She was out of town for 5 days for work, and I stayed hands off all but her first day out of town. She knows this. So, yesterday, when she got out of the shower, I was laying on the bed naked, and with an erection. She asked if I was horny, to which I said "hell yeah!". The subsequent BJ took all of about 3 minutes. She said "It seems to be working! Hell, you cum that fast, you can have one of those every day!"

So...progress. My sensitivity is still not there, but, I'm going to stay hands off, despite my previous insistence on not wanting to do that. She is trying to improve things, and I will make sure it's not in vain. If that means I go from 10 orgasms a week down to 2 or 3, so be it.


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

donny64 said:


> I know her "tightness" is a bit of an issue for me...always has been I suppose, but lately, well, the "job" just isn't getting "done".
> 
> Part of it is her "tightness". I've been extremely reluctant to approach her about this again...but may be able to now, because...
> 
> ...


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Why does it have to be from 10 orgasms a week down to just a couple? Why can't you just up the amount of PIV and bj's? Wouldn't once a day do? You make it sound like she is gung ho.... so it should be a non-issue.


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

I HIGHLY recommend finding a urologist or endocrinologist or Testosterone clinic that can prescribe testosterone injections and teach you to self inject. You will be so glad you did once you start (if your doctor OKs it). A morning total T of 380 ng/dl is not good, in the range of unhealthy old men, very likely the reason you are losing sensitivity. Also ask them to check your 'free testosterone' since that is the fraction of T that is most critical for libido and sensation. My H has greatly increased his penile sensation since he started T shots, it is like night and day. I can tell by the way he reacts now when I touch him or give him a BJ. Testosterone will make your sensation return in most cases for middle age men, assuming you don't have other issues like taking SSRI medications, depression, diabetes, artery problems,etc. Injections work best (creams and gels aren't absorbed well by many men), in small doses once or twice a week, not bigger doses once every 2-4 weeks since you should avoid large swings. It will take a few months to find the dosage that restores your sensation, but not too high, 650-800 ng/dl morning total T is a good range. Instead of T you might need Clomid or HcG if your wife is trying to conceive. T therapy is generally for the rest of your life. It is a good idea to get a prostate check and blood pressure check before considering T therapy. You will need to monitor your T, estrogen, hematocrit, and blood pressure every few months.

If I were you, I'd spend your time finding a doctor or clinic experienced with T therapy instead of spending time worrying about frequency, whether to masturbate, or getting your wife to do Kegels.

I really wish I would have bugged my H to get his T checked many years ago. Just talking to him about wanting to increase our intimacy helped very little, whereas the T shots made a huge difference in the frequency and passion and his sensitivity within about 4 weeks of starting the injections.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

I was having the same issue. I don't want to start a controversial post here, but I was convinced that mine was due to my circumcision. Do a web search and look for the NORM site. The glans developes a callous because it is unprotected and sensitivity is dereased. There are many methods of restoring the foreskin. Not everything can be restored because there are nerve endings that cannot be replaced. However, the sensitivity of the glans can be restored. 

I have been restoring for about 6 months (it can take up to 18 months) and I can notice a difference. BTW, I am 58.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

start exercising,eating a good diet,take some vitimans, and try some new positions.

slow down on the chicken choking and let it build up.

more oral and handjobs.


could always incorperate some anal. thats usually a tighter fit.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I couldn't agree more! since I stopped masturbating my sensitivity is way up! sex is so much better


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

donny64 said:


> Looking for some real world, PRACTICAL methods for increasing penile sensitivity.
> 
> By "practical" I mean I'd really rather not forego masturbation. I'm in my late 40's, and have changed nothing there as far as frequency or "force". I do use lubrication when masturbating. This has not changed. Frequency has not changed. What has changed is my sensitivity.
> 
> ...



Here is what happened to me....I had a years long problem with urinary tract infections....Just couldn't shake them...one after another....

Finally went to a urologist.....He scoped me, said I had an enormously enlarged prostate, that wasn't letting my bladder empty fully.....He also found glucose in my urine....Not good....

Long story short, I had an old fashioned TURP surgery to remove much of my prostate......While in the hospital, I found my blood glucose was 365....120 is good....I was one sick puppy....Went home on insulin, and popped a raging UTI three days later.....

My urine specimine looked so bad, 3 nurses in the urologists office let out a EEEEUUWWWW in unison...I was put on IV antibiotics every day for 28 days....A year later the infection is gone, I whizz like Secretariat, I discovered the diabetic problem was the infection had made me insulin resistant.....So, no more insulin....I feel MUCH better.....

Here is the point....Since my surgery, my orgasms are MUCH stronger...My sensation is improved, and sex is just great...I am 66 yo....Just to lie quietly with my penis in my wifes vagina is PURE BLISS......

Get a good health checkup....I don't know which of my health problems was hurting me sexually, or if it was a combination....I just know I am much better.......

good luck
the woodchuck


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## Alex99 (Apr 8, 2015)

You could try using a penis health creme. Using one that contains all natural ingredients (Vitamin e, shea butter) can do wonders for skin issues down there. Dry skin, rashes, dots and sensitivity are a few of the things these cremes combat. Check it out.


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## DocJim (Apr 12, 2015)

One thing that often helps is to use a quality penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) that contains acetyl L carnitine. Often the de-sensitization is from slight nerve damage caused by rough handling (as you know), so this ingredient can be a help in restoring lost sensation. Good luck!


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## Alex99 (Apr 8, 2015)

Hey. Man1 Man Oil will definitely help you with your sensitivity issues. It contains acetyl L carnitine, which is a natural supplement proven to help with nerve damage. There are other benefits to using this creme too. Totally safe and effective. Check it out. Good luck.


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## Lesa (Aug 10, 2015)

I too have been experiencing loss of penis sensitivity to the point where I have been unable to reach orgasm during intercourse and only about 1 / 5 time when masturbating. I usually just give up. I also suffer with very bad erectile disfunction, diabetes and heart failure and have to inject with Caverjet to get an erection at all. 

Recently I was circumcised which seemed to make matters worse because the extra sensitivity manifested itself as pain and discomfort, rather than increased pleasure. On the advice of a friend i have started moisturizing the head of the penis daily with Shea Butter and I am starting to notice a marked improvement after about 4 weeks. The "pleasure" is returning and for the first time since the circumcision I can feel pleasure during penetrative sex. I still am unable to orgasm, but I feel like it is going to happen sometime soon as I have nearly managed it several times in the last few sessions. Please remember that my problems are many due to illness, so the fact that the Shea butter is helping at all is wonderful and for anyone "fitter" than me it may be an answer to the problem.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

OK, 
I'll give you my secrets, but don't tell anyone.

I am 53, was 50 pounds over weight and had a heart attack 8 years ago. I was a mess.
Now, I have the best orgasms of my life, really. 24 year marriage.

1. Lost 50 pounds
2. Started testosterone replacement
3. Viagra (don't really "need" it, but it's a wonderful boost)
4. Never masterbate. We have sex on average twice a week. If we run into a slump I will jack off, but never to orgasm. 
5. I jelq 5 days a week, 100 reps a day. Call me crazy, but I've been doing this for over 2 years and it has worked wonders. It has also increased my thickness. Wife swears my penis is getting bigger and bigger and can't figure out why 
6. Boxer shorts (let him breathe)


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## JamesTKirk (Sep 8, 2015)

Lately I've been taking Horny Goat Week complex, Korean (panax) Ginseng, and Maca.
Honestly, I don't know which of those is the magic one because I just take all 3. Maybe it's a combo of all of them. Take those daily and a couple hours before sex and it may help. Of course it may make you too horny.

Along with avoiding masturbation, lately I can barely last 5 minutes. No joke. I've always been one to last literally as long as I want to the point where I can't orgasm sometimes. Last night I barely lasted 30 more seconds after giving her an orgasm and I almost didn't make it that far.
I also take either generica Cialis or generic Stendra. Those should have no effect on sensitivity (in fact the opposite.) I don't need it for ED, but I just take it for (recreational) enhanced performance. Of course with the ED meds I could keep going if she wanted but if she's had a good orgasm she's good.

You can get these things from Discount Vitamins, Supplements & Natural Health Products | Piping Rock Health Products and they don't cost much. Give them a shot.
Also see The Life Extension Blog: How to Naturally Enhance Libido Through Brain Chemistry

I try to not masturbate. I occasionally give in, but the less you do it, the more intense the orgasms are, the more sensitive I am, and better the sex it. But that's me.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Sorry but I'm with some of the other folks.

Maybe she isn't too loose, maybe you are too SMALL!

See how it feels. Women can't change their body anatomy any more than you can. I think people suggesting surgery are ridiculous. Unless of course you want to get enlargement surgery as well, because you know, fair is fair...

Kegals may help, and they may not. But blaming her, and subtly saying it's her fault is not the answer. I'm sure she is embarrassed and feels bad enough about it, when you can't keep an erection. 

Own your own problem. To me the issue isn't that she is too loose, it's that you masturbate too much. 

Just my .02


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Sorry but I'm with some of the other folks.
> 
> Maybe she isn't too loose, maybe you are too SMALL!
> 
> ...


Unless you are under 3.5" erect, good luck finding a surgeon to extend your penile length.


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