# how to solve this problem



## susanas (Dec 5, 2008)

I have a bf 2 years ago but live very far from each other, so we only met twice a year.Every time it is me get very very wet first and want sex so much, but feel so much pain or no feeling at all during sex.At first ,I think the reason is my body have not get used to sex after 6 month life without sex.but I still feel no feeling After 8 days continuous sex.my bf is experience with sex and love me too, I think the problem is not his,but mine.now we part and I have not sex over 2 years,As have not met any guy who love me or I am willing to make love with him.i hear that if a woman cannot make love then she cannt marry either,but i want marry .What should i do?
Forgiveme poor english!


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Have you tried toys? Something to keep you in shape, as it were. 

Where did you hear that the inability to make love (intercourse) means you can't marry?? It's a very nice thing to do, but it's not technically necessary. Especially if your partner has a low libido.


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## susanas (Dec 5, 2008)

dcrim said:


> Have you tried toys? Something to keep you in shape, as it were.
> 
> Where did you hear that the inability to make love (intercourse) means you can't marry?? It's a very nice thing to do, but it's not technically necessary. Especially if your partner has a low libido.


Thanks for your kind reply!I had tried toys before,but still feel uncomfortable.you know i am a very young woman,how could a young man marry a woman who are inability to make love?i only make love with one man before,but i do not dare to try another one,as i fear the same situation will happend.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Don't be afraid. 

The only way to overcome your fears is to date and keep on going. 

If you're afraid, you will never find someone. When you do find someone you won't be afraid. 

Sometimes the "chemistry" just isn't right. maybe that's what you found out.


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## ViaCi (Nov 12, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear your troubles - it's a very difficult topic.
It sounds like you need to visit a doctor first, especially since you mentioned pain. Make an appointment with a gynecologist, who can tell you if there may be any physiological problems to explain things. 
Since you say you get aroused and lubricate when you are, it doesn't sound like a psychological problem. 
Once you make sure that everything is ok physically (or if not, then it can be treated appropriately), it may just be a matter of the right person.
Consider the other poster's suggestion of toys; if you don't know what you like and what works for your body, your lover won't know either. Everyone's body and libido are different, you just need to figure out yours.
Good luck!


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## susanas (Dec 5, 2008)

dcrim said:


> Don't be afraid.
> 
> The only way to overcome your fears is to date and keep on going.
> 
> ...


Thank you again!I really have found a honest and gentle guy.we only have oral sex but enjoy ,he told his 2 good friends that i am good at doing that,(in fact,that is first time to oral sex),so they beg on me to have oral sex with them once.I think it is too ridiculous.So i refuse and part with him.I thinki wont sex unless find guy love me deeply!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

susanas said:


> I thinki wont sex unless find guy love me deeply!


You have given yourself good advice here! If you give yourself sexually for the wrong reasons (to keep a man interested, etc.) you will not feel good about yourself and even worse, they may not respect you. Save it for a man that is deserving, assuming you are old enough to be engaging in sex.


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## susanas (Dec 5, 2008)

swedish said:


> they may not respect you. Save it for a man that is deserving, assuming you are old enough to be engaging in sex.


i am very young only 24 years old,maybe my mind is old but not wrong.I do not think a woman save sex only for her lover wont get respect.Any ways,Thanks for your kind reply!


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## susanas (Dec 5, 2008)

ViaCi said:


> Everyone's body and libido are different, you just need to figure out yours.
> Good luck!


You are absolutly right,i feel very well about oral sex.But it cant satisfy me ,then the trouble is feel uncomfortable to Toy and penis .


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