# Wedding Anniversary tomorrow and DD 1/2/13 How to coupe



## gretta (Dec 28, 2012)

Really could use some words of advise. Long story will shorten. Anniversary is 12/29 and will be 23 years. Father died 12/31/11 in FL and as on plane to be with mother on 1/1/12 husband starts a 3 day affair with a "friend" who is trying for US citizenship and her marriage in Sept/11 wasn't going well. She shared confidential conversations with my husband about how I know he still has an issue with my weight (oh and we are not talking about 100's lbs over we are talking 30 lbs. over and I still have a shape.) She uses this information as part of her ploy to hit on him. Anyway on 1/2 while at funeral home making arrangements to transport father back to IL, he allows her to orally engage him. (Like it matters it wasn't intercourse.)

I didn't have a clue as things have always been very good between us physically/emotionally, other than his hang up with my size. He asked for a divorce 2/15/12 and I learn of the affair on 2/17/12, which is why he asked for the divorce = GUILT. 

We stayed together, but I am finding today to be very difficult and know tomorrow will be even harder as it is our 23rd Anniversary. All of this is just so overwhelming with the anniversary of my fathers death being just a couple of days away. 

How does one coupe with all of the feelings? I have so far been able to seperate myself emotionally from everything. I know the issue is still there, but his demeanor is so different. Very caring, touchy feely. It is tearing me up inside as I truly haven't decided 100% what I am going to do. I have just been taking it one day at a time getting my life back on track, finding a job, and become self-reliant again. 

It's like going through the entire situation again. . .Thoughts/ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Gretta


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

First, just get through the anniversary of your father's death. That's enough to juggle right now.

Once you do that, take stock of your marriage. Do you want to work on it or are you subconsciously, through becoming self-reliant, actually planning to bail out?

If you want to work on it, start marriage counseling or individual therapy. Get all the issues on the table and see if they can be resolved.

If you have already decided to leave, finish getting self-reliant and then leave.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Sorry this has all happened to you. Sometimes reading these stories you just want to slap the perp for being so stupid and thoughtless.

Sounds like you are doing all you can. One day at a time. Treat yourself to something everyday is my advice. What ever it is, doesnt have to be anything big, but maybe something you would normally deny yourself.

I wish you well!


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