# For men with sexless marriages...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is a curious poll, to be honest I still don't get it really, and I don't want to assume too much when people say "I asked for sex, but we haven't had sex for... <insert long and frustrating time period here> !"

Please answer honestly...
Poll Question: Do you initiate sex by asking?

The reason I ask this is because if I was to just go up to wifey and say "heya, do ya wanna have sex?", her first impression would most probably be "WTF?! Randomness!", her second will be "What the f--k are you on?!", and her response will be most definitely negative! :rofl:

Actually, I think I might try it just for fun or to turn her off. But wait... nah, too proud to ask for sex, even as a joke or a game to get her off my back. So... do tell


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Two year clinical sexless.

I don't "ask" but I try when I can until I get shot down.
Asking is kinda wimpy.


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

I dont ask. But was trying to initiate a lot earlier in the year, but last 4 months have more or less given up and doesnt seem she cares either.

Last time we had sex was 4 months ago, when i randomly rented a porn movie and put it on tv while we were in bed. she got very turned on but absolutley nothing since, tried same thing again 2 weeks later and she said GET it off and went straight to sleep.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> tried same thing again 2 weeks later


Hmmm, reminds me of wifey doing the same tease too often - it does get old.



> she said GET it off and went straight to sleep.


=/

Have you tried something new? Or at least considering it's been 4 months, try something new then try renting out porn again.


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## lpad (Nov 8, 2011)

Was asking for sex because it was never initiated on her part from 2005 to mid 2010. shat hit the fan and she said she no longer feels like having sex and stop asking for it. "It feels like a choir". no sex from 7-10 to 4-11. Three times during that spurt. No sex since 05-11. And I have quit asking.

In my case during MC she revealed some horrific pre me details that I never new about. I always new there was an issue with sex with her. At first I felt it was inexpierience. When it did not improve I began asking questions and some questions were specific. Like were you ever raped or molested. On three occasions she said no, never and the conversations always turned bad. 15 years later the truth was revealed. After MC and PC it has only gotten worse. I am not able to touch her in bed and the thought of sex makes her naucious. New MC and PC. patient and fingers crossed.

What sux is there was great sex then the skeletons jumped out and beat the tar out of me


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

lpad said:


> Was asking for sex because it was never initiated on her part from 2005 to mid 2010. shat hit the fan and she said she no longer feels like having sex and stop asking for it. "It feels like a choir". no sex from 7-10 to 4-11. Three times during that spurt. No sex since 05-11. And I have quit asking.
> 
> In my case during MC she revealed some horrific pre me details that I never new about. I always new there was an issue with sex with her. At first I felt it was inexpierience. When it did not improve I began asking questions and some questions were specific. Like were you ever raped or molested. On three occasions she said no, never and the conversations always turned bad. 15 years later the truth was revealed. After MC and PC it has only gotten worse. I am not able to touch her in bed and the thought of sex makes her naucious. New MC and PC. patient and fingers crossed.
> 
> What sux is there was great sex then the skeletons jumped out and beat the tar out of me


 How tragic. i hope the damage can be healed for you and her.


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## anonygirl (Dec 7, 2011)

I'm answering for my husband here.. he asks for it, he walks by me and grabs my cooter and my ass and it disgusts me, like I'm just some object he wants to bang. What happened to romance, candlelight, massage, foreplay, and DON'T elude to wanting to just get laid. Actually *want* to make us feel good in a non sexual manner, and some nights it WILL turn into that for you. Other nights, yeah I'll just take a massage.
Sex is a tool to me, especially since I can't orgasm from vaginal penetration. So, give me what I want sometimes and I'll give you what you want sometimes. Fair trade, no?

Don't ask for it.. but definitely try to lay on the romance and sensuality (not sexuality though, key difference).

Just my 2 cents.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's becoming apparent that my suspicions are correct, the majority ask for it, and have the issues related to it. While others have more rather complex issues. Wished more would vote on the poll though for a more accurate analysis though I'm not so sure if the proportions would really change.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Ask? No. I used to but it felt like a job interview.


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

Well, I used to ask/suggest (whatever),, but the last 3 times I tried to initiate anything nothing happened, so I quit trying. That was almost 2 years ago.

We went for a period of over 4 years without sex until she realized our marriage had problems. So for a couple of months we had sex at least twice a week. Then the above happened. 

She does have Alzheimer's and is quite forgetful of recent things. She would rather do puzzles and read than anything.


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