# MMF threesome with my boyfriend and his friend......



## selene (Sep 28, 2012)

hi,
Living with my boy friend for the past 2 years....our sex life is really exciting and active! 
But now he wants to try something new....like a threesome wt another guy/female.... 
I'm completely excited and I just want a '"trustable" person in our bed...!!
He says if its a guy....I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal....tat might both give the other guy a wrong signal....as well hurt my BF......it might be just physical....Though his intentions are clear....not sure if tats even possible!!!

Can anyone help me out here?? just wanna opinion abt how these threesomes work on an emotional level.....??!?!?


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

selene said:


> just wanna opinion abt how these threesomes work on an emotional level.....??!?!?


THEY DON'T. You will regret doing this for the rest of your life if you follow through with it. Something like 95% of couples who engage in threesomes end up splitting up.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

As you'll see, it'll wreak havoc on you emotionally.......both of you................h#ll all 3 of you!


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

hey if you have no long term plans on staying with your bf then go ahead and cross it off your bucket list (but the reality isnt going to be as fun as the fantasy), but ultimately this comes back to haunt you and usually sooner than later. The risk vs reward is not worth it imo.

some fantasies are better left as fantasies


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Do a search on here, lots of discussion about it in several threads. Basically most people who did it made sure it was with a partner into they were not serious about.... Once they found someone special, they might fantasize, but would not share.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> hey if you have no long term plans on staying with your bf then go ahead and cross it off your bucket list (but the reality isnt going to be as fun as the fantasy), but ultimately this comes back to haunt you and usually sooner than later. The risk vs reward is not worth it imo.
> 
> some fantasies are better left as fantasies


I don't even like it as a bucket list item. Her eventual husband, if he finds out about it, will wonder why she was so adventurous with this guy but not with him. Going through with this will be a defining moment for her and not in a good way. It's not something you can take back.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the bucket list term was sarcasm, forgive me


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

selene said:


> But now he wants to try something new....like a threesome wt another *guy/female*....


He'll sell it to you as MMF, and then, surprise...a girl will show up on the big night. At least that's what I'd do.

Agree with the others...this is probably not a good idea.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> the bucket list term was sarcasm, forgive me


I'll forgive you. If you'll just hold that damned turtle still for a second.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My GF and I have done an MMF threesome, and a pseudo-MFF (started as a foursome, other guy didn't contribute). My thoughts on it...

It can work, with the right people. But it can also go very very wrong. The most important aspects of success, I think, are trust and VERY open communication.

My GF had an MMF prior to knowing me, and I don't think anything less of her because of it. But that's just my personal opinion.

When picking a partner to include, I'd think twice about picking someone close to either of you. For us, picking someone that isn't a "risk" to either of us is preferred. Like, someone out of town. It reduces the risk of that person thinking "Hey, I enjoyed having sex with one of those people, I should see if they're free again on Friday". As well, if things don't go so well, it means you don't have to sit down and look at them over the table next time the gang goes out for dinner.

To be honest, though... It sounds like your BF has a number of insecurities that would make me think it's best left as a fantasy.

Just my random thoughts on the situation...

C


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Best kept for single people; the only times I even came close to doing anything of the sort, I was 100% unattached. Even then, I never went through with anything hard, stayed on the soft side.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

PBear said:


> My GF had an MMF prior to knowing me, and I don't think anything less of her because of it. But that's just my personal opinion.


Not what I was talking about. If she had done it before, and said to you that she had done it before but would NOT do it with you, would you still feel the same? I mean, in your situation she had done it before and was also willing to do it with you. Of course a lot of men would probably be ok with it. But I think the odds are pretty good that a lot of men would not be ok with it. Perhaps not a big deal in the first few years, but 20 years down the line the fact that she was willing with another man and not with you COULD be something that gnaws at you.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Not what I was talking about. If she had done it before, and said to you that she had done it before but would NOT do it with you, would you still feel the same? I mean, in your situation she had done it before and was also willing to do it with you. Of course a lot of men would probably be ok with it. But I think the odds are pretty good that a lot of men would not be ok with it. Perhaps not a big deal in the first few years, but 20 years down the line the fact that she was willing with another man and not with you COULD be something that gnaws at you.


Sure, there's "could's" and "perhaps" out the yin-yang. Maybe the next woman I think I'd like to live with won't want to be with me because I've been snipped, or because I've had a previous lover, or I've been to a sex club. But I'm comfortable with who I am, and what I've done in the past is done and I can't change it anyway. If a prospective partner can't get over that, screw them. That's their issue, not mine. And to be honest, if they're that fixated on what's "right" or "wrong" sexually that they can't accept what I've done, we're probably not a match anyway.

In other words, I'm going to live my life the way I want to, and not try to limit myself based on possible futures. I sacrificed enough of my "prime" sexual years with someone that didn't want/enjoy sex, at least with me. I'm not willing to do that for whatever sexual years I have left. 

But to each their own... Your mileage may vary, product may not be the same as shown on the box, etc...

C


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

southern wife said:


> As you'll see, it'll wreak havoc on you emotionally.......both of you................h#ll all 3 of you!


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

selene said:


> I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal


So what is your boyfriend going to do with him? 

I think somebody better do something personal with him, or he is going to wonder why he is there.:scratchhead:


Seriously though ..... bad idea if you are thinking of this boyfriend as long term.


----------



## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I would have no problem doing something like this in the past, but could never even think about it with my wife. If the OP is either just dating for fun or fine with an open type relationship, then go for it. But if you ever want to get serious with this guy, then bringing a third person into the bed (especially another guy) would be a long-term detriment.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

selene said:


> He says if its a guy....I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal....tat might both give the other guy a wrong signal....as well hurt my BF......it might be just physical....


Your BF doesn't want another man to kiss you or hug you, but he doesn't mind if he bends you over and plows away? Seriously?

I have never done a threesome, and doubt I ever could. But if I did, it would definitely be a last hurrah for a girl I didn't care about. I'm just a typical man who is territorial about the woman he cares about.


----------



## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

In the last year, my W has told me about the threesome she encountered with a couple (I guess that's a FFM?) in her college years.... and then during the same period of time, she mentioned the MMF that she personally encouraged and more or less facilitated. There's more... but for brevity's sake I'll stop here. 

Although I did learn some things, and those talks helped close the huge gap in our understanding of each other... I still would rather not have heard a single word about of any of it. You just can't 'unhear' things like that. =)


----------



## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Whatever floats yours and your bf's boat so to speak but please do understand that's there's always consequences to everything. What if you we're to experiment with another guy and though no kissing allowed ...... you moaned too much or too loud while with the other guy and this makes him jealous ??? 

Sooo many different factors can go wrong thus sometimes keeping this a fantasy to " fuel or spice " up the intamcy may be best IMHO !?


----------



## jacksparow1964 (Sep 28, 2012)

i agree with samsad , in my opinion this is a direct message your bf is not even near ready for it,, either selfish or too conservative and both are bad


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Your thread title says he wants to include his friend. Do you know the other guy? Are you attracted to him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Done the mmf threesome a couple of times, was fun but definitely not something I would with anyone I had serious feelings for and saw a future with (there's not many relationships threesomes leave intact).


----------



## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

All depending on how strong and secure your relationship is with the BF I'd say why not go for it. If it's exciting and will bring you two closer then go for it. Do understand there are always consequences regarding this but if you're young why not 7????


----------



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Having sex with another person is as intimate as it gets.

You do it once, chances are he will want you to do it again, and again and so on. 

I think that this is better left to the imagination!

There are always risks involved when you do things like this if you do decided to go for it.


----------



## Visexual (Nov 8, 2008)

Well, lots of reasons for not doing it here. But, have any of these folks tried it?

Now first of all, his no-intimacy rule is probably from having no experience. That could very well change quickly when things heat up.

But as far as trying it ruining any chance for your relationship to last? I know many, many couples who tried it and still had a long happy marriage after.


----------



## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

HUH? "He says if its a guy....I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal....tat might both give the other guy a wrong signal....as well hurt my BF..."

Whats he expecting the other guy to do when the poor guy is in the middle of a highly charged sexual act - stand back and clap your boyfriend on or mark him like dancing with the stars ...... SEVEN!

Its clear this is a bomb waiting to go bang and itll leave casualties. 
My optinion is like others here. You have toi have a real special relationship to indulge in this type of thing.


----------



## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

If you want info from people who have done it to get more of a view,go put in [swinger board] and use their forum.You can get more on both sides of the story.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Just to be clear...

MMF usually refers to a guy having sex with a guy and girl at the same time, meaning the guys are at least bisexual.

A MFM usually refers to a woman having sex with two guys, who only have incidental touching between themselves.

If you are actually saying your boyfriend wants a MMF with his friend, chances are he's already had the MM part of it with him. 

Think about that.


----------



## Desperate_Housewife (Oct 15, 2012)

These things _rarely_ work out.

They seem to destroy relationships rather than enhance their sex lives.

Think long and hard, and do your research before agreeing to it.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

yuck.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I have never even dreamed of trying it. Truth is that I wouldn't want to. But it would seem rather certain that there is just so much more at stake here to be lost than could ever be gained from your agreeing to participate in this! Just food for thought!


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

by the vast majority of the posters here that tried it it did not bode well for their marriage.

thats the facts.


----------



## fortheloveofit2 (Oct 1, 2012)

selene said:


> hi,
> Living with my boy friend for the past 2 years....our sex life is really exciting and active!
> But now he wants to try something new....like a threesome wt another guy/female....
> I'm completely excited and I just want a '"trustable" person in our bed...!!
> ...


The only person that wins in a threesome is the person you invite to your bed. I regret saying this but couples often times regret having a threesome. With that being said I am open to all invitations.. :smthumbup:


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Does anyone ever notice the post counts of the OP who ask these provocative questions?


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Huh. Just imagine the other man is substantially larger down there than the BF. That's issues right there.

I don't see any more posts by the OP so either she/he is writing tittilating stories, looking for validation and not getting it, or is totally embarrassed about the whole thing.

FWIW, my friend who engaged in a FMF situation (long term) found out that they didn't work when the hubby started to try to engage in a FM without her.

Just food for thought.


----------



## EuroAussie (Oct 14, 2012)

This works very well but only if your partner is a lover or not a serious partner, where there is no strong emotional attachment between the two of you.

If its on that level a threesome can be fun, but if youre in a serious relationship where there is a strong emotinal attachment than as others suggested I would strongly advice against it.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

anchorwatch said:


> Does anyone ever notice the post counts of the OP who ask these provocative questions?


Yes, but I also notice that some posters of non-provocative questions also have low post counts. I think a lot of people just come in, ask and leave.


----------



## TriciaO (Oct 31, 2012)

I wouldn't be surprised if "somehow" the BF ends up in an 'intimate position' with his friend (like something accidently ending up in his mouth). I think he's bi and he wants you to discover it this way.


----------



## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

selene said:


> hi,
> Living with my boy friend for the past 2 years....our sex life is really exciting and active!
> But now he wants to try something new....like a threesome wt another guy/female....
> I'm completely excited and I just want a '"trustable" person in our bed...!!
> ...


Let me know if got this straight: sleeping with another guy is fine as long as it doesn't involve cuddling and kissing because these 2 are too "intimate" and "personal"? Isn't sleeping with someone one of the most "personal" and "intimate" experiences one can have?

I think you are opening the door to a massive disappointment and in the end, being dumped by your boyfriend because it wasn't what he expected. 

When you willingly let a third person in a committed relationship, it is just a matter of time till it ends.


----------



## ka1972 (Jul 11, 2012)

I've done MFM twice. Both times it kind of freaked me out because it was "sprung" on me and it wasn't discussed ahead of time. (very had idea)

First guy was a guy we casually knew and didn't have much contact with. I could care less about it. At first I felt bad because I had never done anything like that but hubby assured me it was no big deal and it was at his instigation. Also there was no kissing or anything intimate like that. 

Second guy was someone we've known for years and it went really badly. It became an on again and off again thing for about 3 years at my husband's instigation. I feel in love with the other guy and it's one of the reasons I'm getting divorced. (not to be with the other guy) It is really really hard because I really love this other guy but for him it was just all fun and games like it was for my husband. They don't get how most women view sex differently :-(


----------



## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

ka1972 said:


> I've done MFM twice. Both times it kind of freaked me out because it was "sprung" on me and it wasn't discussed ahead of time. (very had idea)
> 
> First guy was a guy we casually knew and didn't have much contact with. I could care less about it. At first I felt bad because I had never done anything like that but hubby assured me it was no big deal and it was at his instigation. Also there was no kissing or anything intimate like that. (


Just so I have this straight--you had sex with the other guy, but no kissing because that would be intimate?

:scratchhead:


----------



## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> Just so I have this straight--you had sex with the other guy, but no kissing because that would be intimate?
> 
> :scratchhead:


Mind boggling!!


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

ka1972 said:


> I've done MFM twice. Both times it kind of freaked me out because it was "sprung" on me and it wasn't discussed ahead of time. (very had idea)
> 
> First guy was a guy we casually knew and didn't have much contact with. I could care less about it. At first I felt bad because I had never done anything like that but hubby assured me it was no big deal and it was at his instigation. Also there was no kissing or anything intimate like that.
> 
> Second guy was someone we've known for years and it went really badly. It became an on again and off again thing for about 3 years at my husband's instigation. I feel in love with the other guy and it's one of the reasons I'm getting divorced. (not to be with the other guy) It is really really hard because I really love this other guy but for him it was just all fun and games like it was for my husband. They don't get how most women view sex differently :-(


Men or women who want threesomes, should pay attention to this post. Baaaaad idea.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Prostitutes don't kiss because it's intimate. Kissing is extra money. I'm not saying these people are prostitutes, but it's very easy to remove yourself emotionally when it's "just sex". I did it for years with my ex. Yuck.

Not the type of sexual experience i'd want. And for the person who keeps saying it is unfair to do it now because she won't do it later with her husband, blah blah. ...people do ALL SORTS OF THINGS before settling down that they realize they DO NOT LIKE so they won't do again. And I believe, I truly believe, that most people who have 3somes are NOT completely committed, so sharing isn't a big deal. 

I'd never share my husband. Hells no. I'd never want another man inside of me or touching me. I'd never want to see my husband inside another woman. The thought makes me want to hurl.


----------



## Earl Dibbles Jr (Nov 1, 2012)

Two c0cks but only one hen.....nuff said.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

The "wonderful" world of pornography is to blame for these irrealistic and deviant notions of sexuality. It is utterly degrading.

Who in their right mind lets herself/himself be touched by a different person than your partner? I guess that persons relationship mustn't be that important, if they don't mind to share and be shared with someone else. 

You are not objects!! Respect yourselves and your body!!


----------



## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

anchorwatch said:


> Does anyone ever notice the post counts of the OP who ask these provocative questions?


I guess they did not find the validation they were looking for here.
Tough luck!


----------

