# marriage trouble



## desperate10 (Apr 22, 2010)

Hi I am 27 and have been married for 2 years I have a 7 month old son. My husband was wonderful at first He showed love our intimicy was great but then it all changed once I got pregnant. However, there has been 1 problem that has been ongoing and that has been his mother. I understand he works and I take care of the baby whhich is really hard work. I did not work constantly when i was not pregnant but i worked on and off. The thing is he has a child in his country hes going to bring here and he promised me he was going to get a house nearby my family so I can start working and studying but now he is changing his mind and says if he finds a house elsewhere hell buy it for his mom. I sometimes believe I am being used for papers since He wants to petition for his mom when he gets his final paers I have until August if I want to divorce him and 2 weeks for the child anyway we dont have sex hes gone to the doc but had no probs just stress. I on the other hand have high blood pressure and anxiety. The moim seems to be getting in the way she buys the baby whole bunch of stuff and I feel that gives her control meanwhile im stuck here witha measly 20 all week. I believe our marriage is destroyed mainly because of his mom and now he wants her to stay over in the house. Thats too much for me also when the baby was small she used to come here every morning at 9am to give the baby a bath with her friewnds like I didnt count and she wants the baby in her house with her crazy friends that smoke and drink. I am thinking of making a better future for me and my son but i need advice and strength since i dont have any friends


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

Your situation sounds sad, with a hovering mother in law and no support from your h. Have you talked to him about your issues, in a calm loving way, not angry or hostile, just a "i think we're in trouble and this is why"....Maybe not accuse him of using you, but tell him that he is distant and that you feel that you and your child aren't his priority. If you have talked to him and he still can't be the husband he should be, then I would walk. Your health is in jeopardy, your child will grow up in a house filled with all that tension, stress, and axiety. As for the MIL, best advice is to remain neutral with her, not overly nice, but not disrespectful. Let her show off to her friends if it makes her feel good. Try to look at it from the perspective that, even if she is doing it to tick you off, it's still a break that you get. She can play super granny and you can take a long shower (remember those?), or read a bit, whatever might relax you. Use her time to make some time for you. Believe me, if you put him in a situation of choosing between you and his mother, 9 times out of 10 you're going to lose. Try talking things out with him first, before you make any decision. Even if you have tried before, try one more time.


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