# An update...



## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

On October 13th the kids and I moved in with my mom in a rural community 45 minutes away from the marital home...he made no attempt to help pay the utilities and we had to flee the home before the electricity was turned off. 

On October 14th...I had to return to the house to move more things ...I thought that my husband had recruited some help...surprise! it was just him when I went to pick him up. He started the day by trying to talk me into a 2 year certificate program over a 4 year degree program if I planned to go back to school(alimony panic???)....I politely glossed over that conversation...then he moved onto custody....he thinks he can come in and ask for and get 50%++++(more like 70%) physical custody he said he was considering allowing me to have the boys Thursdays and Fridays and every other weekend(before the separation he was at the girlfriend's house 4 nights a week and the nights he was home he rarely came home before the kids went to bed....them getting to see him for a full day or two on the weekends now is more time than he has ever spent with them. ....I told him that wasn't one of the parenting options presented to me by my attorney and I would gladly mention it to her at our next appointment for consideration....and proceeded to ignore any other attempts to discuss custody. At this point he confessed that he had to use his bankruptcy retainer to pay a divorce atty so he can beat the state at setting up a support order...someone didn't believe me when I told him the state would be looking for cash if I had to apply for medicaid and food stamps to provide something for the kids...until he got summoned to court.

He proceeded to play grab ass all day and offered to 'do me' one last time for old time's sake...ughhhh. After delivering the furniture to my mom's house I went to drive him back to his new place(OW's dead father's house) at which point he stated that he was taking my car away(titled to him). Not sure if it was pre-planned or a reaction to me not going along with his great money saving ideas or me turning down his advances. But until there is a court order he has me dependent on my mother for transportation...the generous offer to let me use the car whenever I needed(like for Dr's appointments) have been ignored..he doesn't even acknowledge the requests...coincidentally I had to reschedule my first therapy appt scheduled for today for next week because he wouldn't lend me the vehicle. 

Speaking of therapy....I am kind of disappointed in that ...my first appt was scheduled for 10/24(almost a full month after my intake interview), that conflicted with the appt with the lawyer that I had to reschedule because stbx refused to watch the kids for me to attend a parenting class that I needed to complete before legal aid would take any ppwk...so I rescheduled for the 27th....which I had to cancel due to lack of transportation and now I have to wait until next week...for my first official 'talk to a therapist' session. Ugghhhh and this organization is the domestic abuse/shelter go-to organization in this county..and they still scheduled me a month out knowing that my husband is dangerous and a threat to me. I know I should press charges to get their attention....but now I am afraid that it will only look vindictive in court 8 months after the fact an gaining more age with each delay...I am just looking for reassurance and confirmation and it is taking so damned long. 

The filing for divorce process is taking forever too.....ughhh...the legal aid atty needs 3 weeks to review my ppwk before I sign off on ppwk to have him served...more time ticking with minimal support...$25 here, $27 there....he is working again...I saw he made a deposit of $2600 into his business account...he put $100 into our joint account...and then spent $300 at the aquarium store and about $200 eating out within 2 days of the deposit...errrggg...meanwhile my mother is buying school uniforms and winter clothes for the boys...I know...I have already moved on to a new account at a new bank and closed out the joint account(with his permission) to avoid a $12 monthly fee that I cannot afford.

Oh did I mention that he rented a storage unit for me($40 a month...that he will pay cause I can't be trusted with $40 I guess..I might do something nutty like feed the kids or buy them a jacket)...he gave me a key and a general idea of it's location(near his house) during the first 2 weeks....earlier this week he actually gave me the security code...wow. It of course is still in his name, he has the code and the other key..oh and he ha transportation to get to the locker if he doesn't feel like walking to it

The mortgage company posted notice that they are planning to secure the house...according to stbx they admitted that they have been trying to get in there since 2008...good ol' Bank of America...we didn't start missing payments until 2011:rofl: too bad.... if they had gotten in prior to this year and cleared us out while we were at the grocery store or Target or something...there might actually be some cash from a lawsuit settlement worth fighting over....


yes I know that I have rambled....this is just me getting it out there in writing so I can see it so I don't forget or at last see the kind of person he is(an abusive ass)..so I can continue thanking my lucky stars that I am finally out and moving forward.


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