# My problem coming here on TAM



## Curious_Guy (Aug 21, 2013)

Okay so let me start off by saying I'm just a young college student. (Yeah what type of kid my age is here on TAM right?)

I actually knew about TAM awhile ago cause I was searching up about people with good marriages, (yeah, I admit sometimes I have dreams that I'm married and have that fairytale ending feel), and what do you know? TAM showed up and I saw people talk about their marriages. I thought it was pretty cool, how people have such great and fun marriages.

However, I first came on TAM cause back in high school, my friend's mother cheated on his father and my friend was so upset that he didn't show up in school for a few days. He wasn't a very close friend, but I felt bad for him regardless. So then I searched up online on why people cheat. I found articles, statistics, personal stories, all that crap. Guess what? That's when I learn TAM is very popular with this topic too. When reading these articles, comments on forums, and threads on TAM, I learned a lot of infidelity and see how people experienced it. 
I saw how some people try to justify their cheating selves. 
I saw innocent loving women who were hurt deeply by their cheating husband. 
I saw innocent men losing their kids and house because their wife cheated, and now the other man is replacing the house as the father figure. (Damn I would not bare being in this position.)
I think to myself, how could people be so selfish? Especially when they have kids and especially when they have a loving partner. I read how some people cheat cause they're "bored." Ugh. I'm like okay? How could you have sex with someone else behind you spouse and children's back?

This is when I joined TAM, I wanted to see what people experienced and want to know what the older and wiser people here can say.

And BOOM, the nickname "Curious_Guy" came to mind. Very fitting isn't it?

Infidelity is something I read and talk about a lot here on TAM. Usually I'm the one who is questioning and see what other people have to say.
Yes, marriage is indeed hard work. Very hard work and a lifelong commitment. There are so many problems and it's problems like these that cause people to cheat. (That or they're just bored with their partner or the sex, which is a bad excuse.) I still think cheating is wrong regardless no matter how tough things maybe. Too much heartbreaks come about.

Yet seeing what so much people here on TAM have to say, along with the articles and statistics I see, it's like basically I'm being told that when I get married, I have a high chance of getting cheated on and getting divorced. That, or I have chance of cheating on someone myself. After all, there are many people who claim that they could never cheat, only to cheat in the future, right? For example, I read of percentages ranging from 40% to 70% of married individuals who cheat, and 80% to 95% of affairs never being discovered. And I also hear people saying they think the statistics are much higher than they appear.

Really, I try to stay away from this website at times honestly cause it seems to be way more negative stuff here than positive stuff, and it makes me kinda queesy because like any other person, I don't want stuff like this happening to me in the future. But you know, everything I hear about from others and what I see here on TAM, it's like these bad stuff are bound to happen. They are just that common. I guess that's why I'm so addicted coming to TAM. Something catches my attention and I just keep reading and even messaging people. 


I just wish that when I'm here on TAM, all I can see is the positive stuff. And I do! It's really cool seeing people share their positive experiences and successful marriages. But it also bites when I read about other people's negative experiences. I feel bad for those who were betrayed, abandoned, or just couldn't make it work. And it's these negative stuff that's the most popular on TAM. For example, the Coping With Infidelity section has so much more views as opposed to the rest of the sections here on TAM. 

I don't like seeing all the negatives. But I admit, TAM is making me learn something about marriages. It's very hard work and you better watch who you marry. People may change. This applies for my future spouse, but also me too. I guess this is the real world. 

Well, thanks for reading my long post lol. Kinda weird that a guy who's almost 19 years old is on TAM right?? Lol I'm such a loser. I'm 18, why am I worrying about marriage?! Kinda embarrassing honestly, only one of my closest friends know haha. But hey, it's great getting to know something from people who are much older than me and wiser. (Plus, no one knows my identity anyway so why bother feeling embarrased? Lol) But yeah, if any of you guys have comments and advice to give me on my problem with coming here on TAM, please do so! It feels great to have all of this written out. And if you have nothing nice to say, please don't say it or face my wrath.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

I began looking information years ago maybe 8 or 9, and began Reading forums and blogs around 7 years ago, I was Young and single and at the time I had never have a serious relationship, just as you found many stuff I didn't know and it hit me how common infidelity is, the adventage is that you learn things like identify red flags, and how not fall in harmful patterns so yes it make you a Little paranoic but also make you have a better foundations for your relationshps.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Yeah, when it comes to infidelity...people are at various stages of processing it...some have finally gotten to the point of moving on and others are still in the throws of things. I can see someone young and maritally inexperienced can go "whoa....". This is much to take away from all of our experiences, but one certainly doesn't want to have their view of marriage tainted. 

On the other hand, there seems to be a epidemic in marriages this day and age, where folks are getting worse about walking into unhealthy marriages without seeing the signs or really counting the cost of what it is going to take to address baggage...or that people are automatically are feeling entitled to their happiness and only their happiness (leading to infidelity). I hope younger people will look at all this and say what a serious commitment marriage is...and ASSUME NOTHING about the integrity of your marriage...meaning, never stop investing your time, heart, and will into it.


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## Mistyfied (Sep 27, 2013)

You need to remember that the people whose marriages are awesome are probably not posting here so much. And those who are discussing difficulties may not be talking about what is going well for their marriages. I will say though that every marriage needs a bit of a tune up at some stage as life happens.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Don't feel too discouraged, CG. I have been married nearly 20 years, and I had never even been on a marriage site until a few months ago. And even then, it was only because I accidentally stumbled onto one while looking for something else! 

I would agree that it is probably people with troubled marriages that are most likely to come on a forum, so you might be getting a skewed perspective. Plenty of people have healthy marriages, and you will likely be one of them, with the education you are getting here, lol.

I think the most important thing I have learned about cheating, from reading mainly three forums: TAM, NMMNG, and MB, is that it is a choice. I really did not get that before. I thought that if people cheated, it was because their needs were not getting met. I thought that the cheating just naturally flowed from unmet needs. I did not see that there is a space between unmet needs and cheating, where the choice to cheat is made.

But now, through the insistence of one very persistent poster, I see that cheating does not have to happen. People can be miserable in their marriages but still not cheat. They can choose to get divorced first, and then look for someone else. Or they can seek counseling and try to resolve the problems. But cheating does not flow naturally from marital issues.

That all seems really basic now, but it was eye-opening to me a few months ago, lol.

You know, if you are a young man with low self-confidence, you might want to check out the NMMNG forum. It is just for men, and they are really supportive of each other. They are kind of hard on each other, but they do seem to spur one another's growth. 

I wish there were a similar board for women. But we women are a pretty sensitive lot, and it might be hard to be as honest with each other as those guys are.

And just one more encouraging note: My marriage is one of the best parts of my life. I met my dh over 20 years ago when he moved into the room across from mine, and the whole marriage has been about that easy, lol. He is super kind and patient. He is like a big teddy bear whose lap I can always climb onto. I feel totally safe and warm with dh. There has been no cheating, but much love and support. It is possible, CG!


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

You are indeed young to be on this site but I am sure no less welcome all the same.

You can learn a lot on here. But do not be disheartened. If you want an upbeat take, there are contributors here who will tell you about the good things in marriage. Simply Amorous is one who comes to mind and writes great stuff.

You have time on your side and, with the wisdom you can glean here, should be well placed to cope with what life will throw at you.

Good luck.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

you learned well grasshopper.

so what are you going to do with this wealth of information?

my humble advise is to be true to thyne own self. watch their actions more than their words. you can't change someone if they are not meeting your need early in the relationship move on. 


then cross your fingers because its still a crap shoot. protect yourself and your assets.

let the force be with you!


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Curious_Guy said:


> Yet seeing what so much people here on TAM have to say, along with the articles and statistics I see, it's like basically I'm being told that when I get married, I have a high chance of getting cheated on and getting divorced. That, or I have chance of cheating on someone myself. After all, there are many people who claim that they could never cheat, only to cheat in the future, right? For example, I read of percentages ranging from 40% to 70% of married individuals who cheat, and 80% to 95% of affairs never being discovered.
> 
> Really, I try to stay away from this website at times honestly cause it seems to be way more negative stuff here than positive stuff, and it makes me kinda queesy because like any other person, I don't want stuff like this happening to me in the future. But you know, everything I hear about from others and what I see here on TAM, it's like these bad stuff are bound to happen. They are just that common. I guess that's why I'm so addicted coming to TAM. Something catches my attention and I just keep reading and even messaging people.
> 
> ...


I went through a lot of bad stuff in my early relationships, some that I'd heard about before and some that I hadn't. But the more exposure I had to what to watch for, and how to truly stop the bad, the better prepared I got. Knowing the bad helped me get rid of it without constantly doubting myself. Finding the way to identify a great partner and gauge compatibility and BE the right partner... these things were a lot harder. 

I think it's great that you can learn while you're here, CG. And even though the "bad" might feel discouraging at times, it serves a purpose, too.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> you learned well grasshopper.
> 
> so what are you going to do with this wealth of information?


he could go to the dark side and become a serial OM now that he knows how easy to begin a cyber EA and transform it in to PA, and with all the information he have, lets hope he ramains in the path on the ligh LOL, and he will take the information so build solif relationships and to identify predators


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## Mistyfied (Sep 27, 2013)

To give some perspective, you might see me on here complaining but I'm talking about a marriage of over 20 years that has been good for the most part. My issues are in more recent years and I hope it can be fine again in future. Part of it is transition. We're in a different phase of our marriage. Before this we didn't have even a small hiccup. It might sound bad but I'm hoping it's just one of the normal up and downs of life.


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

Curious guy... I am trying to say this as nice as possible. DO NOT NOT be yourself. You are a young guy with lots of questions. Seriously just be yourself. I have said this so many times but just be yourself, at the least you would be surprised but there is a massive support base here on the net. Just find your niche.
Be yourself man and don't be afraid


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## Gomerpyle (Dec 27, 2013)

It is the lying, back-stabbing cruelty of affairs that does all the damage and not the sex per se. Since monogamy is a promise most people make to each other, the sex is by definition a betrayal of trust. Once you've done that the truth is protected by a bodyguard of lies and deceitful behavior that turns you into your spouses worst enemy. Not only her, but also lying to the lover and the concentric circles of people around you, expanding outward to even people you just meet casually that you have to lie to in order to protect the secret. 

I've sat next to my wife and a woman I have had sex with by permission, listening to them chirp along together happily and my wife telling her she is welcome anytime, yet the wife would get angry if I so much as surfed the 'net for porn without her knowing. It couldn't be clearer to me also that this removes all of the "forbidden fruit" attraction to extramarital sex too and I have yet to find anyone that comes close to her in the bedroom. Not even looking, but working in SE Asia results in a virtual conveyor belt of brazen young damsels and she figured it was better to allow it but require real-time communication when it is happening.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Life is a learning process for us all. Some of us continue to make mistakes and never learn while others of us do try to work on ourselves and make a difference in our lives. If you think about it, what we learn about relationships as children is what we see and what we may be viewing with child's eyes might not be reality at all. Our perceptions of what we see are strictly that, perceptions. We, as young people who have not been married or seriously involved long-term, have no real way of knowing how to make a relationship work. It's rather experimental really.

I understand what you are saying with infidelity, I have seen alot of it myself in various forms and with both sexes. I think that "In love" phase we got thru where are hormones create a blindness for us, the feeling we crave, it what creates a fair amount of our trouble. We cannot always see the other person realistically as we are blinded in this stage. Once the hormones go back to normal it seems each man and woman go back to their old selves and I think this selfishness you see comes out then.

I think too that we recreate our own home life, meaning we marry our parents and we do so in an attempt to correct things in our lives, our past, a healing process. Also not easy.

My exhusband was a player and yes, he hurt me very deeply. It tore up our family which was senseless. Our children then ended up with a very extended family of steps and half siblings, something I never wanted for them. For him it was an addiction just like an alcohol addiction. I asked for him to seek professional help. He said what he was doing he knew was wrong and made the choice to continue and he filed for divorce. He continued to do the same in his second marriage and they divorced. He's been with many women and cheated on them all but because he loves the lifestyle he won't give his ways up. Getting that high from the chase and being with someone new feeds him and this is more important to him than stability and making things right for his kids and wife.

Not the case with every infidelity situation, lots of different reasons and scenarios. Doesn't mean it has to be you. I believe there are alot of people out there that have never experienced this kind of hurt. What you are seeing with this small group of people are the people who are hurt and are willing to reach out in a public forum.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

You are an extremely lucky young man to have found this site and read this stuff. You now have an advantage that almost none of your contemporaries have. There is a wealth of experience based knowledge here that will serve you well in years to come. Keep reading , keep learning. I would move heaven and earth to have this knowledge and go back in time. I would have done so much so differently. 

Absorb the negative. It proceeds from pain. Our pain and experiences is what makes us who we are. You have the unique ability to avoid much of what you see here because of your persistence on this site. I have high hopes for you.

Reminds me of a song.

When you see the southern cross for the first time
you understand now why came this way..........

Oh well never mind!!


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

You have to take everything you read here with a big grain of salt. As MistyField said, always remember that the vast majority of people on TAM got here by googling for specific marital problems. As such, I'm not so sure that TAM is an accurate microcosm of marriages at large. 

Also remember that forums in general tend to create a lot of groupthink in the form of ideas being carried to the point of near caricature and eventually a lot of subtext and nuance is lost. That's not a commentary on TAM, that's been the case for every forum I've participated in.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

A wise man learns from his mistakes. A genius learns from the mistakes of others. 

Be a genius CG!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

And don't forget: no matter how compelling, tear-jerking and heart-wrenching a thread is here on TAM, always keep in mind that you are getting only ONE side to the story.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

F-102 said:


> And don't forget: no matter how compelling, tear-jerking and heart-wrenching a thread is here on TAM, always keep in mind that you are getting only ONE side to the story.


And along with this keep in mind that TAM has been known to attract its fair share of trolls, too


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

CG, the main advice I can give you is that one day if you do meet a girl and get married, and I don't care how awesome she may be...

Always,

Always, have an exit strategy. 

Always keep a secret rainy day stash of money somewhere that she knows nothing about, so that if cheats and you need to bail, you'll have the money to relocate and find a new place to live. 

Thats the best advice I can give you.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

BashfulBull said:


> CG, the main advice I can give you is that one day if you do meet a girl and get married, and I don't care how awesome she may be...
> 
> Always,
> 
> ...


I'm sorry you feel this way, BB. Undoubtedly this is something you have learned in a very painful way. 

Again, so sorry.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I found TAM while doing a Google search for increased intimacy. And while I would be lying if I said that the stories and pain of the members posting here has not caused me to be paranoid at times. I have definately learned a lot from members here. 

I would say that you may benifit from being here in that you may actually learn from many of our mistakes and do a better job of picking a spouse. And when you find them, hopefully you will not take them for granted once you are married. Every affair happens because one spouse is not meeting one or more emotional need of the other spouse. My hope would be that because you are aware of this at a younger age than most. When you do get married, your marriage will hopefully be better.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

You've gotten good advice here. I'd only add that *communication *is very very important. Communication isn't just talking, it also involves listening. And not just listening to the words being said, but listening to what is not being said as well.

And don't make communication difficult by brushing things off. Also remember that men and women often communicate differently. Many men are apt to be blunt to the point of pain, while many women often communicate indirectly and by hinting. Learn your partner's ways of talking and *listen*.

One more thing. Both men and women vent. That's not quite the same as communication, but is nevertheless important. But there can be a major difference between men and women in this: venting men often want solutions. Venting women often just want someone to *listen*.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If you stick around and read outside of the general section or CWI, you will see a lot of success stories. People come her who are hurting and many times they get the help their looking for and of those, some come back to update that things have turned around. I'm one of them. There are several others too.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Curious Guy, We are 43 with two college age kids. I am not being mean but change your life..our college kids, are sooooo busy with work, school and friends, that they would NEVER be on a marriage site... Our 20 and 19 year old would never be on a marriage forum. 

Why do you find TAM so appealing?? You are so young, you should be out dating/work/school?


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Stonewall said:


> You are an extremely lucky young man to have found this site and read this stuff. You now have an advantage that almost none of your contemporaries have. There is a wealth of experience based knowledge here that will serve you well in years to come. Keep reading , keep learning. I would move heaven and earth to have this knowledge and go back in time. I would have done so much so differently.
> 
> Absorb the negative. It proceeds from pain. Our pain and experiences is what makes us who we are. You have the unique ability to avoid much of what you see here because of your persistence on this site. I have high hopes for you.
> 
> ...


While I agree with stonewall's advice FOR A MARRIED MAN, Curious Guy should be out dating and working and making a name for himself.....He is only like 19....I just think it's not normal


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## Curious_Guy (Aug 21, 2013)

over20 said:


> Curious Guy, We are 43 with two college age kids. *I am not being mean but change your life*..our college kids, are sooooo busy with work, school and friends, that they would NEVER be on a marriage site... Our 20 and 19 year old would never be on a marriage forum.
> 
> Why do you find TAM so appealing?? You are so young, you should be out dating/work/school?


*rolling my eyes* Haven't been on TAM in awhile but came back on to check on thread updates and had to reply to this one.

Yeah, I've been dating, hanging out with friends, studying, chilling with the family... stuff that a typical 18-19 year old does.

In my free time or late at night before I go to bed I go on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and some other forums chatting with people my age. 

I came across TAM because *read my first post* and that's why I'm here, or WAS here. Sometimes I get interested at a place, learn a lot from it, and boom, see ya later guys. As for now, I'm pretty much done with TAM because I've asked enough questions from the older and wiser and all I come here is to check on updates on my threads every now and then. Who knows though, one day I might have another question and ask again but at this point I feel done cause I learned enough and had some good answers/advice from private messaging people.

Yeah I admit as you may have seen in my first post that I kinda felt like a loser being on TAM and no one knows this beside 2 of my closest friends. But geez, for a woman who's 43 you kinda sound like someone my age instead of someone wiser, not trying to be mean. I actually think I'm pretty normal and don't tell me to change my life please.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

It's just fine for you to be here, CG. And you will have a headstart on understanding a lot of things about marriage just by reading here. I am learning a lot, and I have been married nearly 20 years!

One of the first threads I was part of was one that you started, the one on homosexuality in the religion section. Thanks for starting that; I learned a lot and there were some funny comments, too!

Thanks for your contributions here, and it will always be a pleasure to see you back.

And good luck this second semester!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Curious_Guy said:


> Yeah I admit as you may have seen in my first post that I kinda felt like a loser being on TAM and no one knows this beside 2 of my closest friends. But geez, for a man who's 43 you kinda sound like someone my age instead of someone wiser, not trying to be mean. I actually think I'm pretty normal and don't tell me to change my life please.


over20 is a woman.

It was odd to see the extensive amount of polling you did here. I wondered if you were doing it as part of some social experiment. 

If you learned something here then good for you. But I agree with over20's post to you. Spend too much time on TAM and you'll become overly neurotic about marriage.


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## Curious_Guy (Aug 21, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> over20 is a woman.
> 
> It was odd to see the extensive amount of polling you did here. I wondered if you were doing it as part of some social experiment.
> 
> If you learned something here then good for you. But I agree with over20's post to you. Spend too much time on TAM and you'll become overly neurotic about marriage.


Thanks for allowing me to edit the post. 

If you don't understand why I came here in the first place read my first post.

And yes I can guarantee you I'm not on TAM that much now that I've learned a lot and no this is not an experiment. That "extensive amount of polling" is just me wondering and it's always cool to see what people have to say. 

And I'm pretty sure that I won't have much need to come on TAM anymore as long as this thread does not become dramatic all of sudden because some people think a young person like me shouldn't be here.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

You post something. People respond. You may not like the responses, but that's the chance you take when you make a thread like this after all your other threads. Post or not, stay or leave..it's your call, your life.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

Curious_Guy said:


> Okay so let me start off by saying I'm just a young college student. (Yeah what type of kid my age is here on TAM right?)
> 
> I actually knew about TAM awhile ago cause I was searching up about people with good marriages, (yeah, I admit sometimes I have dreams that I'm married and have that fairytale ending feel), and what do you know? TAM showed up and I saw people talk about their marriages. I thought it was pretty cool, how people have such great and fun marriages.
> 
> ...


I'm a female but you need to take it seriously that the rate of infidelity and divorce is so high. Do not ever think it couldn't happen to you. 
I went into my first marriage thinking there was no way I would end up divorced. 
I over looked major red flags that in hindsight are embarrassing. My ex is not marriage material and we had major problems. 

You can learn a lot here. Don't go into relationships blindly. Learn what you can: I would say at my age my advice to young men would be not to marry someone just for looks and sex. 
Don't marry a party girl, don't marry someone who just wants to be taken care of, who a addicted to anything or who has major mental problems. Don't marry a woman who doesn't have a life of her own. 
Don't marry a woman whose libido is low or who doesn't like sex because marriage and kids lowers women's libido in most cases. 

Don't marry someone thinking a major problem will magically someday get better. Because it won't. 

And so be careful who you date. Because it's a slippery slope from dating someone to falling in love to marriage. Don't put a gate around your heart but don't be taken in by a pretty face with no substance. 

And don't ever think it's too late to get out of a relationship or that you have to marry someone because you have been together so long.


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## Curious_Guy (Aug 21, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> You post something. People respond. You may not like the responses, but that's the chance you take when you make a thread like this after all your other threads. Post or not, stay or leave..it's your call, your life.


That is true.
If someone posts something I like and makes me feel happy, I'll let them know.
If someone posts something I don't like and makes me feel insulted, I'll let them know.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I see some posts got deleted on this thread this am...got a little heated late last night. 



tryingtobebetter said:


> *You are indeed young to be on this site but I am sure no less welcome all the same*.
> 
> *You can learn a lot on here. But do not be disheartened. If you want an upbeat take, there are contributors here who will tell you about the good things in marriage. Simply Amorous is one who comes to mind and writes great stuff.*
> 
> You have time on your side and, with the wisdom you can glean here, should be well placed to cope with what life will throw at you.


 Yes, no matter your age, feel welcome! .... just noticed this post - in going over some of these replies,







TryingTobebBetter.. .I came here too when I was a little frustrated....just something I was going through....it happens, I never stopped talking to my husband .....

I was always a forum enthusiast... I used to visit a variety (Health, Christian, Parenting, C-section, Photography/ camera, debate, home improvement, computer, even Ebay...anything I had a question, I looked for a message board!)..... one could have called me *"Curious Woman!"* ! ... I highly enjoyed it ! 

Really..it was a great blessing for me to land here...wish I had 10 yrs before ...especially in the







section.....I wasn't concentrating on my husband's needs -enough.

If anything, reading here helped me focus more on what I've always had *right in front of me* and to never never never take HIM for granted again....

Heck, I was even guilty of not paying as much attention to him in the past for being on silly [email protected]# ...

So yeah.. a young single man coming here.. hanging out for a time...seeking to learn...ask questions, a phase in his life... I don't see anything wrong with that ! You sound like you have a good moral compass, empathy in your words....



> *Curiuos Guy said*:* I still think cheating is wrong regardless no matter how tough things maybe. Too much heartbreaks come about....
> 
> I just wish that when I'm here on TAM, all I can see is the positive stuff. And I do! It's really cool seeing people share their positive experiences and successful marriages. But it also bites when I read about other people's negative experiences. I feel bad for those who were betrayed, abandoned, or just couldn't make it work.....
> 
> I don't like seeing all the negatives. But I admit, TAM is making me learn something about marriages. It's very hard work and you better watch who you marry. People may change. This applies for my future spouse, but also me too. I guess this is the real world.*


For your future marriage, I would highly recommend THIS BOOK on your shelf His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage ...covering 10 Emotional needs...with each chapter it gives a story line of HOW when neglected, a breach happens between a couple (as they ALL started out passionate, Love filled)....yet...how easily an affair CAN result...

These are the Core Emotional Needs addressed in that book....



> 1. *Admiration*
> 2. *Affection*
> 3. *Conversation*
> 4. *Domestic support*
> ...


You have probably already seen my thread >>

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-t...ility-b4-vows-beyond-marital-harmony-joy.html








Never Keep Secrets ~~~~ Never let the Sun go down on your anger. A little conflict is healthy, do not fear it ~~~Know your spouses Love Languages & live to give what they crave. ~~~~ If you have sexual inhibitions, destroy them! Read books on Sex , Intimacy & Spicing like mad, never let the passion fade.~~~ Continue to date after kids, Laugh with each other, Flirt always, be playful, bring each other up when the other is having a bad day .~~~ May your Lover forever & always be your Best Friend.









And remember to FIGHT Against every one of these *>>*



> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/44442-negative-patterns-predict-divorce.html
> 
> *1.*Criticism- the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything, faultfinding.
> No Criticism Please!
> ...


I put this on a thread the other day...I wish you well Curious Guy !

.........


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

What a nice message to CG, SA! 

It's always good to encourage young people, or really people of any age, to learn about their interests. There are many experienced people to learn from here. 

And you are certainly one of them!


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