# Wife wants divorce.:(



## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

I got married two years back.me and my wife both belong to upper middle class.I was jobless before marriage.My beloved,now my wife,asked me to get marry ASAP otherwise A guy with good fortune is behind her.I asked her if he was rich,she should have married him because it would take time for me to settle down as I was 25.But she asked that she would only marry me.Marriage done.I and my wife were living happily.I was jobless but had taken very prestigious examination to get into higher position (IS OFFICER).I qualified the written part of that exam and for interview preparation i wanted to go to other city for my betterment.Fortunately or unfortunately,that was city of my In laws.My wife also wanted to go her parent's house as she was pregnant.I started living in a hotel in the city of my in laws but my wife insisted that i should have lived with my in laws.i agreed.After some days,i felt my wife's mother used to grin at me.I asked her politely why she was behaving like this and she replied,"I am like this and i don't care about".I told my wife that your mother was not behaving with me properly.She rebutted me,"its not like that as she likes you".At the same time her mother admitted and excused me.I asked her not to excuse me as she was elder and i respected elder.I asked my wife that i should have not stayed here but for your sake.My wife delivered a cute baby.My sister in law came from abroad and my mother in law discussed the same issue with my sister in law who was older than my wife.She rushed towards my wife and asked her to force me to leave their house.I did so com-promisingly keeping in mind the health condition of my wife as i did not want to tense the situation.But that behavior of her sister and her mother in law seriously diverted my concentration and focus.i qualified the interview as well but seats were less.In this way i could not get job.After 3 or 4 months i,routinely,asked my wife that i could have got a very good job if your sister and mother had behaved well.Damn,she demanded divorce at once after hearing this.I was stunned.I tried to pacify her what she was not admitting about her mother,her mother herself admitted about her behavior with me.After half an hour of this quarrel,i received a call from her sister and she abused me a lot,even my family.At the cost of my family,i lost temper and abused her as well.My wife said that I had no job.I told her to name any place where I had not dropped my CV and even she had dropped my CV in many organizations but i found no opportunity.My expenditures were being drawn by my parents.Well,i asked sorry to my wife if i hurt her.After 15 days of this quarrel,she asked happily me that she wanted to visit her mother.I asked her to go in a good mood.She took baby and went.During her visit,we had a good chit chat but when i asked her to get back,she refused to come back and this time she was in her sister's house.Damn,she took gold as well that i got to know afterward.I phoned her after that but she did not reply.I tried to talk to my mother in law,she did not reply.i talked to her brother in law as my father in law was dead,he told, "it was our planning" (SAME WORDING).I asked him why for?he said that you had tortured your wife,you abused her and you abuse us.I asked that i had never even thought to torture her.As far as abuses are concerned,it was reaction to your wife's abuses.My wife's brother in law told me after a few days as i called him up again (my wife changed her mobile number) that my wife had started a job and now she would not come to your house.Now they have no contact with me.My wife demands divorce whereas i love her so much.I have a kid as well.I was further told,she says even I become the most rich person,she'll not come back and even if her family has ill behaved with me,she is with them and she can leave me but not her family.I asks her what about the family we developed?what to do where issue is not even worth to discuss as its about pity things?i dislike interference of my in laws in my relation but my wife provides them opportunity to point finger at me as she tells every detail to her sister and mother of daily life.her sister instigate her .help...


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Sorry, but this is really hard to read and understand....

Maybe you can revise it and then we'll be able to help....


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Dale&Alex said:


> Sorry, but this is really hard to read and understand....
> 
> Maybe you can revise it and then we'll be able to help....


Dear please read it as much as you can to get understanding of the matter.I am confused right now.Its detail and i want help of you people.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Judging by the way your wife blackmailed you into marriage, got pregnant (are you sure the baby is yours?), treated you like garbage and now listens to her family (I'm certain by this point, they've found a man more "suitable" for their darling daughter-and who won't be an "embarrassment" to them!), I say you deserve better than this manipulative shrew. LET HER GO!


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

F-102 said:


> Judging by the way your wife blackmailed you into marriage, got pregnant (are you sure the baby is yours?), treated you like garbage and now listens to her family (I'm certain by this point, they've found a man more "suitable" for their darling daughter-and who won't be an "embarrassment" to them!), I say you deserve better than this manipulative shrew. LET HER GO!


My dear,of course baby is mine..But the major thing is intervention of her family into my domestic matters as my wife provides them the opportunity to interfere through calls.I am hansom and good looking,even my wife's friends say.I have no shortage of money despite the fact that i am jobless.I fulfill every need of her.I do not know what actually is done.Well,she herself let her go.Should i divorce her then?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Just think of what the future would be if you stayed.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

F-102 said:


> Just think of what the future would be if you stayed.



Well,the future is always threatening and unpredictable whether it brings happiness or sorrows.but i think a stitch in time saves the nine.If i put forward a condition that nobody will ever interfere in my domestic affairs in the future,will it be OK?Her brother in law called me up for some clothes of her.I asked him to send her back but again he said,"we want her back with you but she herself does not want to go back".You are right but you know we Indians have to see many thing around society and its pressure i.e.gossip of people and back biting etc.


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

I'm not sure I understand everything you said. You talk alot of abuse. Are you saying that there was physical abuse in the marriage? How old is your wife? It's a little concerning that your wife dismissed your concerns about the mother-in-law coming onto you. A wife should listen more and have respect for her husband even over her family. Unless their is abuse.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Country Apple said:


> I'm not sure I understand everything you said. You talk alot of abuse. Are you saying that there was physical abuse in the marriage? How old is your wife? It's a little concerning that your wife dismissed your concerns about the mother-in-law coming onto you. A wife should listen more and have respect for her husband even over her family. Unless their is abuse.


No, these were only verbal abuses and it was my reaction as i did not abuse first.she is 26 and i am 27.I fully endorse your views.so how to go through it?


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

That is very difficult because you can not change someone else. She also seems to have her mind made up on divorce. Have you told her how you feel? That you want to remain married? Try to express your feelings to her and I recommend you go to counciling with her if possible. Sometimes women don't know how much our husbands love us unless they verbally express that. If she continues to insist on divorce then there is nothing you can do and you need to try to move on.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Trueman, From what I can understand, it appears that you need to win back your wife's family before you have a chance with her. It sounds as if they have a great deal of influence. Your mother-in-law smiled at you and that upset you and you complained to your wife. You (and many others) were not selected during a job interview. You blamed the loss on your wife's family. Considering the obvious influence they have with her, it was a bad idea to accuse or blame them. She's had them her whole life and you only a brief period. Our cultures are obviously not alike, but my wife's family is really important to her, too. I trip over myself to be nice to them. They talk to my wife and advise her daily. I would much prefer that they be my allies rather than my enemies. Aside from that, you need a job so you can afford to live without as much family influence (if you both choose). Family money can sometimes be helpful but it comes with a heavy pricetag called "meddling".


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## CaptainPicard (Nov 10, 2010)

Dale&Alex said:


> Sorry, but this is really hard to read and understand....
> 
> Maybe you can revise it and then we'll be able to help....


I am sorry but I am finding it difficult to understand as well. I don't think the concerns of your wife's family should hold so much dominance over your relationship. If your wife wanted to stay with you, she would. I think your objective should be to get your wife to want to be with you despite her family, not because of them.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Country Apple said:


> That is very difficult because you can not change someone else. She also seems to have her mind made up on divorce. Have you told her how you feel? That you want to remain married? Try to express your feelings to her and I recommend you go to counciling with her if possible. Sometimes women don't know how much our husbands love us unless they verbally express that. If she continues to insist on divorce then there is nothing you can do and you need to try to move on.



yea she has the mind to get divorce.I have no contact with her as she changes her mobile number but I have e mailed her many times in which i express myself to get her back and don't get any reply.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> Trueman, From what I can understand, it appears that you need to win back your wife's family before you have a chance with her. It sounds as if they have a great deal of influence. Your mother-in-law smiled at you and that upset you and you complained to your wife. You (and many others) were not selected during a job interview. You blamed the loss on your wife's family. Considering the obvious influence they have with her, it was a bad idea to accuse or blame them. She's had them her whole life and you only a brief period. Our cultures are obviously not alike, but my wife's family is really important to her, too. I trip over myself to be nice to them. They talk to my wife and advise her daily. I would much prefer that they be my allies rather than my enemies. Aside from that, you need a job so you can afford to live without as much family influence (if you both choose). Family money can sometimes be helpful but it comes with a heavy pricetag called "meddling".


My mother in law passes cynical smiles.she does back biting and it's what she admits.My dear,no doubt,many other including me could not get job but at the same time "many others" would not be having the same problem during their interview preparation.No doubt,I accept my failure to get job but i cannot ignore the role played by my In laws as well because of diversion of mental capacities and focus.Out of 100% they share 20%.But you know even a single score in competitive exam matters a lot.It takes two do tango.I behave well with them but they don't.Now I am also rude to them.As far as jobs are concerned,believe me,the youth of this country is facing a job crisis.I have applied in many organizations but could not get it.I am M.Phil Electronic Media and you get what i mean.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

CaptainPicard said:


> I am sorry but I am finding it difficult to understand as well. I don't think the concerns of your wife's family should hold so much dominance over your relationship. If your wife wanted to stay with you, she would. I think your objective should be to get your wife to want to be with you despite her family, not because of them.


You are right but again it takes two to do tango.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Today,her brother in law called up my father and asked for my son's clothes through courier.Is it clear message that she moves on?


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

Not necessarily. It just means she needs clothes for your son. If you need to ask us if she is moving on then you clearly don't know what your wife wants. You need to have an honoest and open conversation with your wife somewhere away from her family and ask her what she wants and tell her what you want.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Country Apple said:


> Not necessarily. It just means she needs clothes for your son. If you need to ask us if she is moving on then you clearly don't know what your wife wants. You need to have an honoest and open conversation with your wife somewhere away from her family and ask her what she wants and tell her what you want.


I don't know about her whereabouts as she is absolutely out of touch.I have tried to meet her in her sister in law's house but her sister in law threatened me that she would break my legs if i came to her place.Well,my wife has demanded divorce.it's in our culture that male can divorce and female can divorce male through court.I am confused,should i hang on or move on?She breaks trust as i let visit her family happily.i love her a lot but love without love is like a question without answer.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Sounds to me like your W and SIL are the "spoiled little rich-b**ch" types who want everything their way or else. SIL has been feeding your W a steady stream of how you're no good, she can do better, and she's convinced her that she would be much better off without you. If your W will listen to that over you, I'd just let her go. You deserve better.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

F-102 said:


> Sounds to me like your W and SIL are the "spoiled little rich-b**ch" types who want everything their way or else. SIL has been feeding your W a steady stream of how you're no good, she can do better, and she's convinced her that she would be much better off without you. If your W will listen to that over you, I'd just let her go. You deserve better.



My sis in law is really what u tagged her but she ain't rich from any angle.She is poisoning my wife.But then I think of my kid that his life will be ruined.He may have psychological constrains in the future.Now he is just 9 months.


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

I think you got your answer if you have no means to communicate with her. My marriage is rocky with my husband but he still knows how to get intouch with me. Best of luck.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Country Apple said:


> I think you got your answer if you have no means to communicate with her. My marriage is rocky with my husband but he still knows how to get intouch with me. Best of luck.


Well,if one changes one's place and communication tools then how i can communicate.you provide your husband a room to get into touch whereas my wife does not.


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

Exactly.... which tells you she is really done.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

Well,though it will be unethical on my part to seek advice for making two sisters fight with each other but circumstances are pushing me towards this direction.Only this thing (fight) can part my wife from her sister.I want advice and methodology through which it could be made possible to make these two sisters fight without my role.How can I materialize it? Ask questions freely and please advise me.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Don't think you can. In a twisted sort of way, your wife is having an affair-with her sister. Let me explain:
You were the "good guy" to your wife, until the "other person" came into the picture. Little by little, she started to believe everything the OP had to say, and little by little, you started to become the "bad guy" to your W, and her sis, the "good guy" is the one who will save her from the misery of being with you.

I don't think she will listen to you as long as sis is telling her what she wants to hear: all about the what a wonderful life she will have if she can just get rid of you. 

In the meantime, start talking to lawyers and see what your rights as a father are.


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## Trueman (Nov 13, 2010)

@All,after a month of silence,my wife is not going to court as once she threatened me to go to court for divorce.I have also conveyed her that she may go to court and don't delay.But i received a reply from her brother in law that ,"divorce her".I said,"it's filthy act but if it's inevitable then i will but as she leaves my house then she should be the first to go to court as well.On one hand her brother in law is demanding divorce but on the other hand he has also asserted, "if you divorce her,I will take revenge".


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