# All trust is lost.



## pixxiedust (Apr 21, 2012)

I've been married for 3.5 years, together for almost 7. We have a 16 month old baby. Our marriage seems to be great, and even if you ask him he'll say we don't have any issues, but that's far from the truth. The fact of the matter is that he has a lot of baggage and issues he needs to deal with but refuse to accept them. My biggest problem with him is that he watches too much porn. At first it didn't bother me, but I discovered that he's been asking his ex wife to send him naked pictures/videos of her. Now that to me is cheating and unacceptable. One thing is to watch porn of people you don't even know, but to ask someone you had a relationship with for naked pictures/videos is out of line.

I've confronted him about it and the 1st time he said he didn't ask for it and she just sent the pictures. I didn't want to believe him, but because she loves to cause problems between us, I believed and moved on. 2nd time he denied it again and said that he only asked her for videos/pictures of the kids they have together (I didn't quite believe him, we went to counseling and I thought we had worked our issues) But yesterday I was going through his phone and saw a msg between the 2 of them where he's specifically asking her for pictures/videos, I confronted him again and he said that the text was taken out of context and he was just asking for kids pictures, that there's nothing between them blah blah blah. I'm more hurt about the lies and the fact that he thinks I'm so stupid to believe it. He's now out of town for 3 days but I can't bear the thought of seeing his face. I'm extremely hurt, sick to my stomach and don't even want to consider counseling anymore. I love him dearly and he's a great dad, but why would you stay in a relationship when the trust is lost? I even told him that I believe our sex life suck. I'd love to have more sex but he's just too busy watching porn and his exwife pictures.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Answered your own question: "why would you stay in a relationship when the trust is lost?"

He is a liar and a cheat. He's ignore your sexual needs. He's ignoring your reasonable boundaries.

Why are you staying with him?

IMHO, it's divorce time.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I love him dearly and he's a great dad, but...


but he is *TOXIC* to your dignity and self-esteem. End of discussion.

Your husband has problems that YOU are never going to be able to fix. Only he can fix them. And only if he wants to. You can love someone and feel for their problems, but you don't have to wallow in them.

YOU may be willing to stay and put up with the porn and the ex-wife, but your CHILD has NO SAY in the matter. Your child will get out ONLY if you take him/her out of this situation.

Hubby could have put a stop to this cr*p the FIRST time his ex sent him inappropriate pictures/videos; but he keeps requesting them. Does he really think she's going to send anything DIFFERENT on the 3rd request than she did on the first two requests? Of course not!

Get an attorney and get out NOW before your self-esteem is totally shot. If your hubby chooses to get help for his porn addiction or not is ON HIM...it is NOT your responsibility to pick him up and fix his life. You have enough on your plate with your child and yourself. He is a grown man.


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