# Think my wife might have cheated - Need some advice



## leeroy (Nov 25, 2010)

Here's my story.
My wife graduated college this spring. She has had trouble finding a job. So I told her to go talk to her former boss and see if he had anything available. She snapped at me and told me she would never go back to work for that sleezy man. I asked her the reason and she said he practically raped me when I worked for him. She said he was always hitting on her and she didn't feel comfortable going back there. I left it at that.

The other day I bought a gift for my wife off of Amazon.com. After I bought it I was going to write my wife a message and tell her that I had bought it with our account. The account's email address was my wife's. I logged in to her email and went to forward her the message. Well being I was at work I got called off to do something so I saved the draft. I went back to send the email and I came across an email that my wife and her former boss sent back and forth. She said in it that she was glad to see him the other day. She told him that she had a dream of her being back at work with him. She told him in the email that she heard about something that happened in his life and that he deserved the best! He wrote back that he missed her, especially their little talks. He said I love you and come see me. She wrote back I am going to come see you. Now this email was written 2 years after she quit and 3 months before she started college. She went to school for 2 years.

Well when I confronted her with this, she said that he did hit on her but she told him no and he stopped. Then they became good friends. But all that keeps going through my head is that when I mentioned her going back to work for him, he was a sleeze, now they were good friends? Then she started crying and said she was upset because I had to think of her like that and all she was trying to do was handle it herself.

I called her former boss and confonted him about it. Like I suspected he said nothing happened and that he and her both flirted on and off. He said they never had a confrontation. And then he said that he never hardly emailed her. I went to go back and check the email and my wife has deleted the account. That caught me off guard. If you have nothing to hide then why delete the email account? I love my wife to death and would do anything for her. I haven't said anything else about this to her. I haven't been able to sleep or hardly eat for the last few days. I can't stop thinking about them together. Please help me with any advice that y'all have.


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

Sorry you are going through this. You aren't alone and there are plenty of people on here who will help you. 

I am probably not the best one to offer advice, but you would do well to have a look at some of the posts by Tanelornpete, Affaircare and others.

Good luck.


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## Wolf359 (Jun 10, 2010)

They can restore your account if it has not been to long. Try to contact them about it. Also say to her I got the account back, and fool her into a corner (it may work).

Also a lie detector test maybe a option, I think after hearing what you have said I would have insisted on one.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

leeroy,
your wife cried b/c you confronted her on some terrible behavior, that is shameful and imoral. She is embarrased and is dening her behavior. The OM is worried about his carreer and will also deny. People in general are not proud of their behavior when it come to infidelity. They lie and delete things, but it is addictive so it may be possible that it still may be going on. Even though a disloyal spouse disapproves of there own behavior they will find a way to justify it and continue with the addictive taboo behavior. 

So be cautious and keep your eyes open, she will soon make you think that you are crazy, so quitly get the evidence that will prove her wrong, and that you ar not crazy, and you do have valide concerns. It will be amatter of time before she slips up again and you will get your hard proof. This time around you were not so lucky.

I hope that I'm all wrong, and she is connecting with you more then ever. Good luck.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

She cried because she got CAUGHT! Now her little perfect world where she can have her cake and eat it too has now gotten a little more complicated.
And why did you confront the OM? You know he will just deny it, go to your wife and tell her of her psycho H who threatened him and he's thinking of going to the police about.

I suspect that there is more, much, much more, that is going on here.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Obviously she can't go back and work there.

Keylogger the computer.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

leeroy:

Get yourself these books, the reading will give you a good place to start. Your wife should read them as well. 

Five-Steps-Romantic-Love

Amazon.com: Five Steps to Romantic Love: A Workbook for Readers of Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs (9780800758233): Willard F. Harley: Books

His Needs Her Needs

Amazon.com: His Needs, Her Needs (9780800757793): Willard F. Jr. Harley: Books


As for now:

Explain to your wife this is hurting you and she should have told you at the time. Do not accuse her. Ask your wife for the following 

No contact ever with this man and the emphasis is ever. 

Full transparency on everything, mail accounts, phone , everything.

Explain that this has shaken you and you both must work on rebuilding the trust, in turn you must forgive. 

Did you keep copies of the email????


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She cheated, I am sorry.

Start thinking of her tears as weaponry.

Restore that email address and get the old emails.

She won't admit a thing unless she thinks you already know.

Up your game. There is much more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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