# An idea for those who are reconciling.



## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

I have seen a few threads on how to celebrate wedding anniversaries after an affair and I have an idea I would like to share.

My H and I are days away from our 10 year wedding anniversary and 1 year D day anniversary all in the same week.

To say it has been a tough year is a understatement. We have given a lot of thought on how to handle these significant and emotional days. We want to celebrate our 10 years of marriage and make it special and meaningful after everything we've been through and everything we have accomplished.

I was not up for a marriage renewal...because I think that our original vows of 'in good times and bad' have the most significance and a renewal would almost make me feel like our original vows are not important/meaningful. KWIM?

What we ARE doing though is pretty special. We are both taking the day off from work and spending it together (while the kids are at school) We are going to drop off our wedding rings at the same jeweler we bought our rings and have them cleaned, rhodium dipped and basically made good as new. Much like our marriage, they (the rings) have been scratched up over the years and could use a bit of refreshing. While they are being refreshed and returned to the condition of our wedding day, we are going to go out to lunch and get a couples massage.

I like the symbolic idea of refreshing our rings, marriage, commitment, etc.

Our jeweler does this service for free and it is the perfect way (for us) to celebrate and start out on our next 10 years of marriage.

If any of you are like us... we don't have a lot of money to go away for a weekend or other costly ideas, you may find this idea suitable for your situation too. 

I just wanted to pass along another option to those who are in the process of reconciling.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

That is a great idea and when we refreshed our wedding ring, I still have a hard time putting it on.

I wore it all through the vow renewal day, and keep it on for most of the week while we were in Vegas, but after a very succeesful R I feel like the purdon of wearing it has lost its meaning.

Yes the "purdon" it has always annoyed me, I would play with it all the time. and it just bugged me.

As I have had a pretty easy time of it (the R) , my wife has done all the heavy lifting and the only struggle I have is maintaining the healthy behaviors *I* need to stay in this /or any relationship.

I find my self reverting back to booty call type intimacy and indifferent emotions that lead to my marital wows long ago.

I know that the wedding ring should have some significance but I just see it as it is just as important as the new behaviors we both need to exhibit.

Not to take any thing away from your thread and yes it (the rings be refreshed) was a significant jesture at the time I still wish see never cheated....I'd still be waering it as it irritaaded my diget.

I bet your 1st question is have I truelly forgiven her? Yes I have forgiven her but the ring still just buggs the hell out of my finger.LOL

I guess my only point is that along with jestures and significant objects there has to be a overwhelming behavioral change by both spouses that reflect a succesful R.

As far as the rings go they were beat up after 20 years and now they look great, they most likely will stay that way as they both sit in the dresser draw...only to be taken out on special occasions.

Weird!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Awww that's awesome <3! Congrats 

My ring is a 12 dollar silver band LOL! My wedding set is a 90 dollar silver and white topaz  I wonder if they can clean that? I like that idea. Hubs' band is titanium ...simple enough.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I like it. Congrats on your anniversary and your reconciliation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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