# Early Midlife Crisis?



## Faith2011 (Apr 13, 2011)

I have known my husband for over 10 years. He is almost 38 and I am 35. We have been married for 3 and a half years. Since the beginning of our relationship, he has experienced extreme panic when I want more of a commitment. (moving in, getting engaged etc.) He usually freaked out, only to come back begging, assuring me that his anxiety got the better of him. So this past July, right before we were going to start trying for a baby, he freaked out and served me divorce papers! He never moved out. We were on a rollercoaster for months. Some days he would want to go to therapy and work on it. He went so far as telling me he would call and cancel the paperwork...only to freak out at the last minute. We have yet to appear in court. He kept delaying the dates. We both have lawyers but have not come to any agreement about separation.


He was treated for depression and anxiety over the course of the winter. While he was medicated, he was a dream come true. Happy, positive, loving. The he stopped the meds and a few weeks ago started sleeping at a friends. I saw a recent email message to his coworker, telling her it was okay that she turned him down for a date and that he still wants to be friends. Clearly this woman did not return his crush and he was embarassed. 

He still comes to the house and even shows affection and his old, loving self at times. He also has another side to him, where he yells at me and tells me I need to move out. The distance has made things more calm and I find that he comes closer when I back away.

I am wondering what everyone thinks of this. A panic? A crisis? I need some objective opinions.


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