# Separated and pregnant! Lucky me!!!



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

So, basically my husband and I have been together for 15 years married for 4. We have a 3 1/2 year old and after we've been trying for a year to get pregnant i had a pretty traumatic miscarriage. I say I because I was alone for the 2 week ordeal, he emotionally checked out as usual. Well, WE decided to keep trying. A week before our 4 years we had an argument, he was ignoring me and my calls and after a little back and forth conversation I left for work and he said he was thinking we should separate. The whole i love you but not in love with you thing. After I left for two weeks seeing him some for our child and communicating about little things (was actually pleasant) and I embraced the break too. Well I decided it was time for me to come back home and continue my life on a productive way instead of back and forth dance I'd been doing. Welp, about a week later I had still not gotten my period and felt like **** so I decided to take a pregnancy test and what do ya know. I'm officially pregnant. The reaction was bad for both of us being as its not ideal and if he really did want to divorce it would be a lot harder now. We ended up making love that night like we hadn't in a long time and it was initiated by him. Now I'm living in this limbo where he doesn't want to go to counseling before the holidays but doesn't want to completely end it with me. Even before baby news he wasn't sure of officially separating anyway. I'm unsure if there's someone else, he's "a casually cruel in the name of being honest" kinda guy and would have no problems telling me. We've best friends for a long time and we've never had an easy time in life together. No time to really enjoy ourselves. Is he having an early midlife? He's blaming his being unhappy on me, when I told him his problem stared long before me and he's never denied any of it. I've been the only true consistent family in his life and his (mommy issues) need to be dealt with. I told him I'm actually more concerned with him dealing with his past than to worry about our future. Whatever happens he needs to talk and finally acknowledge that what happened to him was wrong. Instead of "that's life" therapy. I'm there because I'm his friend first but I don't want to feel like a doormat either. Honestly, if I had the money I would have gotten my own place already. Soooo much history here so any questions are fine. Help give some clarity and if you're a guy? Maybe he's just not that into me!?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

In my opinion, bridging from buds to romantic partners is very difficult. How long were you friends before being romantic? Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

We weren't, I just meant that we've been together for a long time and we've been each other's best friend during our relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> Maybe he's just not that into me!?


Not maybe. Definitely.


----------



## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Mrs.kellymcd? said:


> We weren't, I just meant that we've been together for a long time and we've been each other's best friend during our relationship.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The mention of friends to me is a red flag. Was he ever really into you? Like couldn't keep his hands off you?


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

If you got the ILYBINILWY speech already, having a second child with him isn't likely to change anything.

This just $uck$, I'm really sorry.
Is there any chance H would go to counseling? Of course there's no guarantee that would change anything. Any thoughts concerning the reasons for his emotional detachment?


----------



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

This child was not supposed to change anything at all. I got pregnant before our separation. Not a clue, I think he's having issues he won't address.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

Of course, we have (had) great chemistry. We were always proud of how much we got along.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

Ouch
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Mrs.kellymcd? said:


> Of course, we have (had) great chemistry. We were always proud of how much we got along.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Getting along is not chemistry...It can be a sign of no chemistry actually...DUDE


----------



## Mrs.kellymcd? (Nov 23, 2015)

Couldn't keep hands off kind of chemistry- we enjoyed each other's company and got along well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

