# Scared and anxious.



## ImLearning (Sep 17, 2011)

My wife and I had been married for almost 17 years with the 17th anniversary coming up on the 1st of October. It probably won't be a celebration. For the longest time my wife has put up with lack of intimacy and inability to fully express myself.I'm also guilty of not listening very well. Not well enough to notice what had been happening to us. She has finally had enough after all of her pain and attempts to keep it together. She had always tried to communicate her anxieties but I was too stupid to see the light and focus on what should have been our relationship.I was too much concerned for fulfilling the other responsibilities of helping raise and provide for my kids, pay bills, etc. I lost track of what really matters the most to me and what had made me whole in the beginning.My wife, my woman, my best friend.My disregard for her need of intimacy(and intimacy in ways other than sex) had driven her start flirting with other men.She's was never that type of woman but who wouldn't acknowledge her. Sh is very beautiful and sweet. I wished I had said that her more often.Flirting led to her posting an ad on the C-List. Had I known, I would have taken notice and tried my hardest work on us.She met one guy, met for drinks on a particular day and have since, been sending e-mails and im's to one another about how good they make each other feel. He too is struggling with a tough marriage.I confronted her when I found out.Upset yes but compared to most other men, I think I handled myself pretty well.Now she wants a separation, move and work south of where we live and spend some time apart.This guiy also lives south of us.She said this could be good for us, we may get back together...maybe not. I'm in limbo and scared.I've finally realized my unfortunate lack of expression,poor communication skill and what appears to have been a disregard for my wife,has ruined what I truly cherished.I was so deluded in thinking things were good.I am truly sorry.I'm anxious and scared of the prospect of losing my wife to a man she met on the C-List. To think that this guy she's only known for less than 16 years will fix what it took 16 years for me to screw up. We did have some good times but as always, its easier to remember the sad times.I feel I'm rambling, not making sense. I have no true question at the end of this.If this message is understood, I'm sure you can fihure out what thos questions could be.I am just saddened by it all and shaking as I type. Thanks for listening.


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