# Borderline Personality Disorder



## RockerMama (Feb 12, 2014)

Just curious is anyone else has similar mental issues, I am just looking for friends with a personal understanding of how thi8ngs liek this can effect us relationship wise.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think there are a few borderlines hanging around here,I'm one of them. Although some may not come out and say it for various reasons.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Have you tried any mental health forums? PD sites? You may have better luck with that.


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## "joe" (Aug 19, 2013)

there are very knowledgable posters here who may be by to address your question. 

are you in a r/s with someone who may have BPD, or do you think you may have it?


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## RockerMama (Feb 12, 2014)

I was diagnosed at 14 with.it, my H is "normal" I am here foremost to fix me and H's trust issues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

RockerMama, I also have BPD and am in a relationship with a non. I'd be glad to be your friend.


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## RockerMama (Feb 12, 2014)

=) I could really use a friend, I gave up all my friends n stuff n I feel so cut off even tho.it's my own fault.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Your profile said you have 7 kids? Is that a typo?


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

RockerMama said:


> =) I could really use a friend, I gave up all my friends n stuff n I feel so cut off even tho.it's my own fault.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know it - same here. Still need them, though.  I'll PM you.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

RockerMama said:


> =) I gave up all my friends


Why? Were they toxic?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Some of us have experience dealing with BPD spouses, ask away!


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Yes

If you need any input from us who have, did have BPD spouses you may find the input useful ....


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## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

I have years researching BPD and I was married to two borderlines......they failed miserably but I still lived the nightmare. Ask away.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Have you heard of Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)? I have heard that it can be very effective and helpful for Borderline Personality Disorder.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

If you can drag them into therapy that is


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

john117 said:


> If you can drag them into therapy that is


I've known at least two young women who liked therapy and they definitely have borderline personality disorder. It helped them manage their feelings and see things in a different light.
Both of these young women were driven to their appointments, so that probably helped, but neither of them were opposed to going.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Many kids see therapy as a badge of honor and go not necessarily object to it, My older daughter did 3 years worth and it was a rate day she did not run into a friend or classmate at the very large practice in our city... Social event galore  Older people may not be do forthcoming.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

john117 said:


> If you can drag them into therapy that is


and then once you get there,try keeping them from storming out once they're being told they're not actually the victim.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> and then once you get there,try keeping them from storming out once they're being told they're not actually the victim.


That was me...couldn't possibly conceive that some things were of my doing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> That was me...couldn't possibly conceive that some things were of my doing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It was the hardest part of therapy for me.The sense of shame that washed over me caused me to go back to self harm for a while. Sort of a "well if I hurt myself,I'm definitely a victim.so there!"


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> That was me...couldn't possibly conceive that some things were of my doing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do you ever feel like now you sort of go overboard with blaming yourself? Like you've gotten to a point where even when you know without a doubt you were wronged,you still take responsibility for it bc you're afraid to slip back into the victim mindset?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Do you ever feel like now you sort of go overboard with blaming yourself? Like you've gotten to a point where even when you know without a doubt you were wronged,you still take responsibility for it bc you're afraid to slip back into the victim mindset?


The way my life has been going lately, I just assume everything is my fault.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> The way my life has been going lately, I just assume everything is my fault.


Wish I could hug you  I definitely feel ya lady (((((pidge)))))


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Wish I could hug you  I definitely feel ya lady (((((pidge)))))


Thank you SB, you are a sweetheart.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

I really admire you two, Scarlet and Pidge. It takes a lot of courage to open yourselves up on a public forum.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

skype said:


> I really admire you two, Scarlet and Pidge. It takes a lot of courage to open yourselves up on a public forum.


That's really nice of you to say,thank you


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

skype said:


> I really admire you two, Scarlet and Pidge. It takes a lot of courage to open yourselves up on a public forum.


That's very sweet of you to say, thank you.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> That's really nice of you to say,thank you


Great minds...........lol


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> and then once you get there,try keeping them from storming out once they're being told they're not actually the victim.



That's more like it


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

pidge70 said:


> The way my life has been going lately, I just assume everything is my fault.


You don't have to have bpd to feel like that. The good news is that if it is something you are doing that you can change it. It may take a while to understand what it is that you are doing to cause a problem, but eventually you will and you can make the necessary changes. When you have that mindset, it can be very motivating and encouraging.


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## "joe" (Aug 19, 2013)

skype said:


> I really admire you two, Scarlet and Pidge. It takes a lot of courage to open yourselves up on a public forum.


it's also very beneficial to hear the experiences directly, instead of reading the projections of others. another tip of the hat to ye.


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## mikealone (Nov 26, 2008)

Omega 3 (flaxseed oil, cod liver oil) has a soothing effect on borderline.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids in Fish Oil Soothe Personality Disorder


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Interesting. I'll pass it along...


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

The brain is mostly fat. Studies show that eating healthy fats is good for overall health and well-being. Eating transfats, canola oil, soybean oil and corn oil are all unhealthy for your body. Transfats are made by hydrogenation and partial hydrogenation. A healthy diet can help stabilize emotions as well as relieve all sorts of health problems.


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## cuchulain36 (Jul 8, 2014)

RockerMama said:


> I was diagnosed at 14 with.it, my H is "normal" I am here foremost to fix me and H's trust issues.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's not common to diagnose a 14 year old with BPD, most 14 year olds exhibit traits of multiple mental illnesses like BPD, sociopathy, etc... so doctors typically wait it out until early 20's before leveling a diagnosis like that.

BPD is a hard one, I think intense therapy can help but it's not curable from what I understand.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Question, hard to go into all the history of this (theirs alot) but ,is this bpd npd?

My wife reflects,mirrors, flips, shifts everything, projection, whatever you call it, its like her entire identity is negative mirror of myself, she perceives everything as a competition, everything.. cant even color with 3 year old without making it a competition whos pictures better. She baits needles verbally or might be combination of some physical action or inaction, until she gets me riled or angry, often she (i believe) goes at the kid in order to get to me, push pull, give take, repeat, kid gets frustrated, escalates into chaos, she flips onto me, goes at me, then exits to her audience (phone, texting, FB). With me it takes her days sometimes, orders me around, picks, baits, one peep or mumble from me and she pounces like a verbal pitbull, its like ding ding she drop the gloves, all I want o do is get out of ring...... its a mix of my own words coming back plus berage of personal attacks, hurtful as she can make them, crazy making, mirrored words from previous arguments, reverse blame, or straight up ones im depressed, 10 ways bad father, no friends, unhealthy unattractive... whatever. Time, Work, the kid, meals, chores are her tools. Whatever it is shes at fault for, like sex...shes never been there, disconnected, says im putting pressure on her, making her uncomfortable, its similar to when we go out to a restaurant, shes always more concerned with whats happening at other tables, sex is same, or driving, points things out, I cant look as im driving, she gets angry, its been a year since last time, ive stopped trying, and finally its right and? she said dont talk(cant talk during sex ever), and goes into convincing me that lets have a baby(what the - who care about me huh - not there).... to me that was painful reminder shes not there, never will never has been. After most arguments (if call them that - me talking verbal attacks), She goes on a campaigns as if its obsession to blame it on me, prove shes righteous, so and so said thats normal, or so n so said this or that, so yeah your wrong again... she has to cleanse herself of all blame, no matter what it is. Its really sad, she doesnt see it, she creates it out of thin air, creates the argument, then creates the after blame - its such a waste of life and negativity, but she seems to be getting worse, or maybe im losing patience, as that is where she shines the most is once her target interacts, shes in her zone... more she gets the more she reflects. Am I living with adult size brat?


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## Jetranger (May 31, 2013)

belarus said:


> Am I living with adult size brat?


In a nutshell, yes. With BPD you have a adult with the emotional maturity and control of a child. A person with BPD feels emotions much more intensely.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

belarus said:


> Question, hard to go into all the history of this (theirs alot) but ,is this bpd npd?
> 
> My wife reflects,mirrors, flips, shifts everything, projection, whatever you call it, its like her entire identity is negative mirror of myself, she perceives everything as a competition, everything.. cant even color with 3 year old without making it a competition whos pictures better. She baits needles verbally or might be combination of some physical action or inaction, until she gets me riled or angry, often she (i believe) goes at the kid in order to get to me, push pull, give take, repeat, kid gets frustrated, escalates into chaos, she flips onto me, goes at me, then exits to her audience (phone, texting, FB). With me it takes her days sometimes, orders me around, picks, baits, one peep or mumble from me and she pounces like a verbal pitbull, its like ding ding she drop the gloves, all I want o do is get out of ring...... its a mix of my own words coming back plus berage of personal attacks, hurtful as she can make them, crazy making, mirrored words from previous arguments, reverse blame, or straight up ones im depressed, 10 ways bad father, no friends, unhealthy unattractive... whatever. Time, Work, the kid, meals, chores are her tools. Whatever it is shes at fault for, like sex...shes never been there, disconnected, says im putting pressure on her, making her uncomfortable, its similar to when we go out to a restaurant, shes always more concerned with whats happening at other tables, sex is same, or driving, points things out, I cant look as im driving, she gets angry, its been a year since last time, ive stopped trying, and finally its right and? she said dont talk(cant talk during sex ever), and goes into convincing me that lets have a baby(what the - who care about me huh - not there).... to me that was painful reminder shes not there, never will never has been. After most arguments (if call them that - me talking verbal attacks), She goes on a campaigns as if its obsession to blame it on me, prove shes righteous, so and so said thats normal, or so n so said this or that, so yeah your wrong again... she has to cleanse herself of all blame, no matter what it is. Its really sad, she doesnt see it, she creates it out of thin air, creates the argument, then creates the after blame - its such a waste of life and negativity, but she seems to be getting worse, or maybe im losing patience, as that is where she shines the most is once her target interacts, shes in her zone... more she gets the more she reflects. Am I living with adult size brat?


Sounds awful familiar....
Don't put up with this anymore. She seeks help and recognizes her issues, or you need to walk for your own good. 
Let me guess, if you do manage to be "perfect" for a day, she'll dig up something from 5 years ago and start ranting?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Jetranger said:


> In a nutshell, yes. With BPD you have a adult with the emotional maturity and control of a child. A person with BPD feels emotions much more intensely.



Not age appropriate emotions tho.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

Been diagnosed with BPD last year and also PTSD and BDD, aka body dysmorphic disorder. Mostly by my father leaving us and bullying for 14 year in my youth. In a long term therapy traject, I guess it will be a life time job to deal with it  
Anyhow, you're not alone


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