# Please help me save my marraige!



## kness810 (Jun 5, 2009)

I'm so sorry for this long explanation but I know details are important, please don't be too lazy to read, I really need your help.

Hey everyone, my name is Kristin, I'm new here. I'll get right to the point, my husband and I have been together for 6 1/2 years, since I was only 14 years old (only married for 10 months)... Please don't say we got married too young, yeah yeah yeah...

We have both broken each others' hearts in the past, he's messed around a couple of times but that was the old him, not my husband. The only reason I brought that up is because sometimes I wanna point out that hey, "you weren't perfect either" but even though he shoves my past mistakes in my face, two wrongs don't make it right, so I try not to bring up his past. But I have hurt him a few times. I have never "cheated", but I broke it off a few times in past years (when we were younger) so that I could party and I have stupidly slept with other ppl during our breakup. I use to lie to him a lot to keep myself out of trouble. 

2 years ago, I realized that no matter how much partying I do and how many new people I meet, KENNY (husband), is the one only one who deserves my love and I got back with him. 

We were happily together again for a year when we finally tied the knot. Since then everything has been perfect, and I've been a good girl. He's my BEST friend, my entire life, everything I do in life is based around him, no lie. A few days ago, I screwed it all up. My doctor has put me on birth control pills because I have a condition called PCOS that affects my fertility, menstrual cycle, lowers my female hormones and increasing male hormones. These pill have increased my female hormones, and I have not felt this way in years. I feel more feminine, emotional, affectionate, social, and sexual. He has been working a lot on a new computer business and hasn't had much of a sex drive. I know I have been clingy and annoying but I just wanted attention. Anyways, I won't use the pills as an excuse to make it ok, I know it was wrong, but I got attention from somewhere else. I did not sleep with, or even meet anyone else, but I was talking online to a couple of men. I was talking sexual with these guys because I just wanted some type of sexual attention. I swear on my life that I had no plans on meeting these guys, I have not, and would not EVER cheat on him. I'm not blaming this on my husband, he has been so good to me, just busy I guess. He finally gained trust in me 100% again, our relationship was perfect. But he knows me like the back of his hand and noticed I have been acting strange. He asked me if something was going on, but I denied it, just like I always use to when I would do stupid things like stay out late with friends and lie to him, sugar coating things. So, he decided to find out for himself and did some snooping. Busted. Messed up thing is, a few hours before I talked to him, I was thinking to myself "how could you do this to Kenny, you have been such a good wife, why are you screwing up now?" I was trying to find a way to tell him, but he found out the hard way. 

Now, he wants a divorce. I'm sure he would work it out with me if I hadn't broken his trust so many times before. But what I wish he would realize is that those times before, I was a stupid wild kid. Now I'm a good wife for the most part, I haven't done ANYTHING behind his back, not even the simplest of mistakes since we've been back together. I have always tried to sugar coat things or blame them on him, but this is the first time I've accepted responsibility for my foolish actions, I had no defense, all I could say was I'm sorry. He knows I'm sorry and that I love him. He just don't think he can trust me again because of the number of screw ups. I know I'm a different person than I was in the past, I've just been craving attention lately and slipped. I AM sorry, so so sorry and it kills me not only to think about my life without him, but to know I have hurt him. We grew up together, I don't remember life without him and every decision I've made becoming and adult (college, jobs, homes, etc) has been for HIM. He's suppose to be my future, I want to grow old with him. He really truly is a party of me, my whole heart. But he has such deep scars because of me now.

How can I fix this? He wants me to come and get my things tomorrow, there's no way I can do that! I would gladly come home to talk or work things out but I can't handle the pain of removing my things from our home and leaving him behind. Please, I need help and advice on how I can get him to forgive me, and how to better myself, how to not be so needy. Do you think this is cause for a divorce or is it something he should try to work out with me? I believe our love and marriage is strong, how can I show him how sorry I am and gain his trust, yet again?

Thank everyone!


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

First off, when you broke up with him b4, did you already have a guy in mind that you wanted to hook up with?

You say that you are a good wife. You have been married for 10 months and were having cyber sex.

You knew that if you had gone to your husband and told him out right "honey, this pill is making me super horny and I don't want to stray so YOU HAVE TO MAKE LOVE TO ME MORE!" that he would have understood.

Because you cheated b4. and you did cheat b4. Even if you broke up to do it. Along with these incidents, make you a serial cheater. That is why he wants a divorce. He can't trust you. And more over, you know he can't trust you.


OK enuf 2x4s. Tell him you will give him a divorce, but that you are asking him to wait 6 months. The experts say to give it that long, so as you are not making life changing decisions in the heat of the moment. NEXT, get into some individual counseling, show him that you want to change. Two points you must not do.

NEVER, TELL HIM THAT THIS WAS ANYONES FAULT BUT YOURS. THAT MEANS DON'T BLAME THE F***ING PILL FOR IT.

NEVER, TELL HIM OR EVEN IMPLY THAT HE NEEDS TO GET OVER IT.

Also don't tell him what a "good wife" you are for him. You are a cheater, and only after 10 months. Also I believe he can actually get an annulment in the first year.

He may love you. But look at it from his position. You've done it b4. Why would he want to have children with someone he can't trust. He sounds like a smart guy. He doesn't want to be saddled with CS for a child he gets half the time. Good luck.


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## kness810 (Jun 5, 2009)

Initfortheduration said:


> First off, when you broke up with him b4, did you already have a guy in mind that you wanted to hook up with?
> 
> You say that you are a good wife. You have been married for 10 months and were having cyber sex.
> 
> ...



Ok, first off, yes I wanted your truthful opinion, but your opinion has been made from false statements. First of all, I have not ever cheated on him. I never said I broke up with him to sleep with other people. When I was like 17 or 18 he was getting mad at me a lot for hanging out with friends too late, and he ended up breaking up with me for it. No, I did not have anyone in mind, but once I realized he was serious about leaving me, I ended up sleeping with other ppl. Second, I did tell him, several times actually that he "HAS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME" because I'm super horny. I told him and told him, it started to annoy him so I backed off a little bit, so no, he did NOT understand apparently. Third, I specifically said I'm not making excuses and blaming it all on the pill, I know I've done wrong, I'm simply saying I wasn't like this before the pill. I'm also not blaming him, I never did. Even though he wouldn't give me the attention I needed, what I did was wrong, I know this. And by me saying I'm a good wife... I was VERY good to him before I screwed up a couple of days ago, so to say that I have not been good to him during these two years because of a mistake I made a couple of days ago is wrong. 

I'm sorry if the way I worded things confused you, but you mixed the words which gave you the wrong idea about my situation.


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

If this is happening at 10 months in, you have no idea what you're in for at 10 years+. If he wants to move on, you might need to take that path. He might be a great guy, but if you're already feeling this way now, you might find a better match elsewhere. And from his perspective, the loss of trust will never fully recover. Why pain yourself and why pain him?


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