# Made Him Leave



## Cecezakat (Jun 20, 2015)

I kept waiting for some progress to made but no real work was being done. In many ways he is just an immature partner. I'm frustrated all the time, angry and resentful. He's changed a lot too and I don't know where he is going to end up as a person. We have a 2 month old baby boy. I feel relieved my husband is out of the house but I feel sad when I look at my baby smiling at me, unaware. We love each other and have gone through great obstacles to be together but it's not working. I really wish it could. I also want to stay and try to make it work, but I'm not getting any younger and I'm afraid I would just be delaying divorce. I see so many women struggling to find new love as they get older and already have kids. 

I wish the choice to separate or not was more obvious. I guess feeling more relaxed and calm should be a sign that separation is healthier. But maybe that's just from the relief of fighting. 

He is coming tomoroow to get more stuff. Maybe he will try to be charming and sweet and end up staying. He always tries that. We love each other but we can't manage to make our relationship healthy and not destructive. I think it will affect our kids really badly. 

I'm just really tired.
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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Get some counselling for yourself to work through your feelings and get some clarity.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear this. Incompatibility is sadly not unusual.


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## Cecezakat (Jun 20, 2015)

Incompatibility and not wanting to work to keep the marriage. I think certain kinds of incompatibilities can fit in a marriage where there is love and a desire to do the work of staying together.
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## Cecezakat (Jun 20, 2015)

He is back in the house. He wasn't able to find a suitable place to stay. He stayed in a hotel for the weekend and now is staying with us again. We agreed on no physical contact and separate spaces in the house. He admitted he needs individual counseling amd said he wants to find a therapist. I hope he does for himself and for our sons at least. 

I said I would want to file for divorce in 3-6 months. I think after filing there is another 6 month waiting period because we have kids. If we can live as roommates and keep the house calm then we might use therapy and try to repair things. I have to see if he actually goes to a therapist like he said. 

I think the lack of physical contact is good and his experiences trying to find his own place this weekend made him realize a few things. He tried to room with a friend of a friend but he was very strict about cleanliness and has kicked roommates out over messiness. My husband is super messy and its one of our issues. That interaction made him realize that other people do care about how clean their living partner is. He must have thought it was just me, because his family is all messy too and he never lived with anyone else. 

I feel better now putting a time limit on this relationship.
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