# Found out this morning my exW is engaged to her AP



## Welsh TXN

So this morning I get a text message from the AP ex wife we actually knew each other before the cheating happened we were friends. Well last night she recieved a text telling her that her ex husband was engaged to the cheating hoe from her exbrother in law.

I had known this was going to happen and it did not hit me at all I actually felt nothing just ah their engaged ok. 

It's been one year and one month since the divorce we were married 3years and together 5 years. 

The APs exwife is extremly upset and mad I am not I have committed myself to a better life and not to live in the past 

Live life and live life well
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

you do not know if you truly let them go until you hear they are 

engaged. Mine is.....after hearing it, I grinned and went back to

daily routine.


----------



## Welsh TXN

Chuck71, that is so true I was actually laughing with a good buddy who works with the AP he's his boss, he knows from gossip around town that they are engaged but the AP hasn't directly told him I laughed and said wish I could see him and shake his hand and say thank you for taking her and her toxic mother and sisters off my hands. I used to think a lot about the marriage about how we spent time together and I realized the marriage wasn't two people it was 6 people me the exW the exMIL exbil exsil x2 the only person who never imposed on the marriage was my exFIL. So I raise a glass and say good luck AP lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk

At least you sound like your in a good place.
l have a feeling l might get hit with the same even though they say most affairs fall apart later.
l dunno , x just seems still so very resolved and l think it's a lot to do with om. Even though they're the oddest couple you've ever seen.
Good luck for the future anyway , she did you a favor .


----------



## Welsh TXN

whitehawk, I am in a very good place, like I said I have done a lot of thinking about the marriage and the way it way was, I will never have that type of marriage again, my life is not under her control, as chuck said when you don't care or you laugh and go about your daily routine after hearing it you know that life is better. 
Good luck for you in the future too whitehawk and chuck71 life is what you make of it, as my signature says live life and live it well and that's all you can do.


----------



## Chuck71

I was lucky....I thought the world of my MiL

she was my 2nd mom, I miss her (died in 07)

never had SiL or FiL but had BiL LOL

three of her brothers were worthless 

one I thought the world of

but they say, when you marry, you marry the family

UGH

does your X still have a thought you would take her back

or would consider R? or did she know from start you were through


----------



## Welsh TXN

Chuck, 

I doubt my ex has a thought about R or me taking her back, she made that clear when the trail separation (two days) she divided up our stuff and had the OM stay over that night, my ex MIL was good until I exposed what was going on she then went viral on trying to kill any relationships with friends we had together, which did not work as I still have those friends I trusted, they told her that her daughter was playing around behind my back as I showed those friends emails which she had sent to the OM, she tried to dictate that they shouldn't be friends with me, those friends told her in no uncertain term that that would not happen. 

They are no longer friends in that small community, and I have moved on found a GF and living the way I want to live.
I am healthier and happier after the divorce.

The rest of the family she has two sisters who were good they talked to her then cut me out all together they are now ennamered with the OM. So I have heard.

The eldest brother who is a good guy spoke to me at the time I had moved out saying he had tried calling his sister (exW) but she would not answer calls or texts. not spoken since hes married and a kid on the way now would love to send my congratulation but will not do it.

the youngest brother who is a sophomore in HS, spoke to him and he was sad but saw everything as he lived with us for 9 months due to house remodeling. he hasn't spoken to me since.

the exfil was a great guy saw him at conference we work in the same industry about a month later after I had moved out. he walked up to me with sad eyes and (the eyes say a lot) put his hand on my should asked how I was doing and hope life gets better for me. 

as for me I see it as a sharp learning curve, thank god I did not have kids with this woman, I would not have like to try and raise kids with the exmil around because I have seen the way she raised her own kids, the only decent one it the eldest son he works hard but is till under exmil thumb and will jump to the slightest hint shes upset with him, I would not want that happening to my kid, they are all under her thumb they are spoon fed they are wonderful and life is roses and rainbows, but life is not and when my now exw could not deal with the realities of daily life she jumped into another man not try and solve the problem yeah I had my problems in the marriage but I did not jump into another woman,


----------



## Chuck71

amazing what you see at 50k feet

no kids here either

once you see things from the outside, you never wish to return


----------



## Welsh TXN

Yeah I hope one day to have kids only 33 very close to 34 years old

Yeah the things that come to light are amazing and the things you realized you put up with come into perspective and you think what the hell !! 

Like I said before live life and live It well
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans

How long were they involved before you guys separated?

It's good that you seem to be at a good place--helps a lot. 

I am always so surprised by people who up and decide to get married so soon after a massive thing like a marriage. But hey, to each their own, I guess.


----------



## Welsh TXN

Jelly Beans 

From what I can deduce as I never got a real answer from them both but it started in Jan 12, we separated in Feb 12 and she filled for divorced March 12, divorce granted in May 12. He was over at the house every night after I moved out a very good neighbor knew what was going on and he called me and even texted me when the OM was round at the house and even took pictures, even caught him in the bedroom when I came home on a Sunday morning after leaving for a weekend after she told me she needed space. That was early Feb 12. By the way this guys was supposedly my friend I had him over to the house when his wife moved out trying to help him through the divorce I bought him drinks food and golf to help him get over his wife leaving him he even slept on my couch for a couple of days when he didn't want to go home to a empty campus apartment he works at a college. My EXwife on the other hand give him a different type support.

They went on vacation together 2 days after the divorce was granted, and had trips to some of his friends weddings as well while the divorce was on going.


She was a alpha female and was stressed when she wasn't in control. 

They finally came out as a couple in July 12, they said it was due to them being there for each other through their divorces, and the OM even told some people the reason he was divorcing his wife was due to her having an affair which was not true. 

They seem happy together now!!!! but both dumped and ran at the first sign of attraction in another person, I could not live like that I would never trust that person 100% that they would never do that to me. Or I to them. 

But it does help to be in a better place, it was extremely depressed for a couple of months didn't sleep and didn't eat but I worked and kept my chin up, my family were extremely supportive well as much as you can be from 5000 miles away. I found friends that will now forever be family because the way they treated me during this time, all of these things combined placed me in probably the best place I have been in for 5 years.


----------



## vi_bride04

Jellybeans said:


> I am always so surprised by people who up and decide to get married so soon after a massive thing like a marriage. But hey, to each their own, I guess.


:iagree:

....especially less than 2 weeks after getting divorced! 

Some people are just gluttons for punishment I guess. Repeating the same mistakes over and over and over.


----------



## Jellybeans

Yeah they were probably involved together for much longer than you are aware of. I say GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!! 

To go from a marriage to divorce to another relationship/marriage so fast is stupid. It seems so chaotic.

You are better off, my friend.


----------



## Garry2012

Jellybeans said:


> Yeah they were probably involved together for much longer than you are aware of. I say GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> To go from a marriage to divorce to another relationship/marriage so fast is stupid. It seems so chaotic.
> 
> You are better off, my friend.


i am having a hard time dating...cant IMAGINE jumping into another marriage!!!


----------



## Chuck71

don't feel bad....2/1 D final

4/1 she offered me a weekend at her apt. (yeah sex was a def) NO

6 weeks later found someone

6 weeks later engaged

she moved 500 miles away for a stranger

he is Ray Ray...NOT Ray....but Ray Ray :rofl:

good luck with that


----------



## Welsh TXN

Garry I like your avatar welsh dragon Celtic knot what does it symbolism. 

I am dating a girl but yeah like you Garry marriage is not for me just yet after only being divorced just over 1 year and it took me 6 months to meet a girl I wanted to date. But I am happy. that's all I can ask for.


----------



## Jellybeans

Garry2012 said:


> i am having a hard time dating...cant IMAGINE jumping into another marriage!!!


Precisely my point! Only crazies want to jump from gasoline straight into a fire LOL


----------



## life101

Welsh, my STBXW (yes, divorce has not been finalized yet) is already engaged to her AP who also happens to be her supervisor. Actually they got engaged even before divorce was filed (with full blessings of AP's family members)!

Glad to see that you are doing OK and have developed a cautious view about marriage. All the best.


----------



## Chuck71

life101 said:


> Welsh, my STBXW (yes, divorce has not been finalized yet) is already engaged to her AP who also happens to be her supervisor. Actually they got engaged even before divorce was filed (with full blessings of AP's family members)!
> 
> Glad to see that you are doing OK and have developed a cautious view about marriage. All the best.


sounds like TN for ya doesn't it? :rofl: notice I'm there too

guess your ex's family is ignorant or blind to the truth

reality bus will soon make a stop, grab a beer n watch!


----------



## GettingBetter

Why is it that we always hear WS are the ones jumping into the new relationship fast...getting engaged even married while the ink on the divorce papers is not dry yet? 
Is it that they have really moved on? I just do not understand that behaviour.
I cant say that I will never get married again. But so fast...so soon. I dont get it. 
I am dating a very nice lady now. After over a year. But neither of us ever mentioned even moving in together.
She met my kids, but as dad's friend only. And they absolutely love her and her two boys. 
I do not know if this will last. I hope it does. But my wall is still up. I have no desire to give my heart to someone just yet. I am longing for it. But at the same time I am being smart about things. I want to take things slow. No way do I want to bring someone into my kids lives unless I am 100% sure she is the one I would like to spend the rest of my life with. 
Some people are just addicted to relationships....sex...need to fill the void. 
My void is filled with my kids, work, friends, hobbies, family...and to be honest TAM.
I have learned so much on here and owe it to every single one of you. I do not post as much as I would like t, but I am here daily...yes, sad I know. It just shows that I have not moved on completely. And at least I am being honest with myself. And with my GF. She knows and sees it that I am not there yet, but we are enjoying the ride and whatever happens happens.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jellybeans

GettingBetter said:


> Why is it that we always hear WS are the ones jumping into the new relationship fast...getting engaged even married while the ink on the divorce papers is not dry yet?
> Is it that they have really moved on?


Yes. That's exactly why. They detached eons ago.


----------



## GettingBetter

Jellybeans said:


> Yes. That's exactly why. They detached eons ago.


But still, jumping from one relationship into another so fast...how healthy that is. Wonder how long it usually lasts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chuck71

GettingBetter said:


> But still, jumping from one relationship into another so fast...how healthy that is. Wonder how long it usually lasts.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


"they" think it will work, key word -think-

more times than not it ends disasterously

her white knight ends up having the same issues

as she had with you or worse

this is observing relationships for about 25 years

granted some work out but you have better odds in Vegas


----------



## synthetic

Chuck71 said:


> he is Ray Ray...NOT Ray....but Ray Ray :rofl:
> 
> good luck with that


I haven't stopped laughing at this for 5 minutes now!!!


----------



## Chuck71

synthetic said:


> I haven't stopped laughing at this for 5 minutes now!!!


:rofl: you can't make stuff like this up!

the guy is like 50+ and uses a nickname his grandkids would

Hmmm Chuck Chuck.....nah....


----------



## ArmyofJuan

Well assuming they stay together long enough to make it to the wedding, odds are it won't last long.

These type of relationships tend to be short lived. 90% end within 2 years. They are still in the honeymoon phase but that won't last forever. One day they are going to realize that they are both cheaters and won't be able to trust each other. If they do actually marry one of them will end up cheating again (cheat with you, cheat on you).

All you can do is grab some popcorn and watch the slow moving train wreck and try not to get hit with the debris.


----------



## Chuck71

ArmyofJuan said:


> Well assuming they stay together long enough to make it to the wedding, odds are it won't last long.
> 
> These type of relationships tend to be short lived. 90% end within 2 years. They are still in the honeymoon phase but that won't last forever. One day they are going to realize that they are both cheaters and won't be able to trust each other. If they do actually marry one of them will end up cheating again (cheat with you, cheat on you).
> 
> All you can do is grab some popcorn and watch the slow moving train wreck and try not to get hit with the debris.


:iagree:


----------

