# An apology letter to the betrayed spouse?



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

I was just reading a thread where one of the posters (sorry can't remember which name) said they had an apology letter from their spouse that they read when they felt low. 

Has anyone else asked for or done this? Has it helped?
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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

That was probably me  I carry it in my purse and take it out whenever I need to read it again. It helps immensely.


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## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

Hey  Thanks!

Did your H do it of his own accord or did you ask? Or through MC maybe? I was wondering what his motivation was and what he wrote?
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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I wrote one to my exH. He did not ask for it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I asked him to when it was suggested to me on another forum, and he thought it was a good idea too. Here's what he wrote - he composed it all himself, I didn't give him any guidelines to work with at all.

_What you are looking for is reassurance that I love you and will never stray again. I truly promise that.

When you are moody and crabby I do not desert you. I may not know what to say, but it seems that if I am quiet and touch you gently, it seems to soothe you. It is good that you let me know when you have come out of your murk to let me know that I have done good.

If I could go back in time to 2009, I would tell myself that I need to stand up and tell you how I feel about our relationship back then with all of its warts. I probably would have punched myself in the face if I did not listen carefully. As bad as it was then, it was about to get much worse for all of us. What I did back then was selfish and short sighted. I know now that I will never do this again as the things that I did scarred us for the rest of our lives. I did not feel loved back then, and was searching for something that was right under my nose.

Even so, I am glad that we are much closer to each other now than we were 2-3 years ago. I like traveling with you and doing things together. I wish we had more money and time to spend it with in each other's company. I want to build a nice cozy nest for us to enjoy life and ourselves once the kids have left the house. I know we will have fun together.

One thing to remember is on your dark days is that I do not cry easily. However, you almost made me do so one time. That time was standing at the front of the church with my best man watching you as you entered the church. I know I had a huge grin on my face, but what you did not know is that I had a tear in the corner of my eye. That was a tear of happiness as my heart was bursting in pride knowing that we were meant to be together.

So, lastly, I do not want to forget the dark days entirely, but I also want both of us to remember the good days, like our wedding day.

With all of my heart,

Love, (hubby)
_


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## DivaLasVegas (Dec 12, 2011)

I'm still waiting for a letter from my husband. He has a hard time expressing himself and thinks I should be getting over it. It has been 8 months and it is just as hard today as it was the day I found out. I'm devastated. I told him I'd like 2 letters, one explaining why and what he did and one expressing his feelings for me now. I haven't even got one letter, he says he is working on it.


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## NatashaYurino (Jan 2, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> That was probably me  I carry it in my purse and take it out whenever I need to read it again. It helps immensely.


My SO wrote one for me. Telling me how horrible he felt and how much he regret ever doing. I also read it when I have bad days, and it does help... a lot.:smthumbup:


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