# What what, in the butt....



## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

I like the idea of anal sex, but in practice it seems like a hassle. The times I've done it with my H it hurt a bit and we had to go really slow. We have a butt plug that we have used (on me) which can be fun.

Would love to hear from the other women on this forum about their successful anal sex experiences. Have any women really enjoyed it and been able to O that way? 

My H and I have seen a porno clip of anal in which the girl's butt hole is quite large. She seemed to be able to "take it" with no problem. I know this is not necessarily reality, but just curious if it is just a matter of stretching out? And is that something I'd really want to do anyway? Not sure a loose butt is a good thing!:rofl:

Thoughts?


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

It can become more elastic, but will not become "loose".

My wife and I have done this very, very rarely. It causes her much pain, but she admits there is a pain = pleasure phenomena, which I would link to your enjoying the "idea" of the act.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I know you were asking for ladies in particular... But as a guy who recently purchased and used a toy for prostate stimulation, it DOES get less uncomfortable with practice. Of course, my toy is much smaller than my penis... . My GF and I have also enjoyed anal sex together. She does like the sensation of double penetration; it's actually the only way she can orgasm consistently without clitoral or g-spot stimulation. From a guy's perspective, it's a good sexual experience from a number of perspectives. The physical, the "naughty" connotations, etc.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It takes me about a bottle of wine and a bottle of astroglide. lol.

I do like it though. It works best if I control the thrusting so he'll sit on the bed (on his knees about) and I'll move back and forth on it. It makes him finish pretty quick which is good because after about 10 minutes of it, I'm done ...it hurts! Then we have to wait a week because my butt is pretty sore for a couple of days. LOL oh the things we do. We haven't done it in a while...


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't understand why women do thing that hurt!! Sex is about mutual pleasure, there are plenty of ways that mutuality can be accomplished. Doing something that benifirs one person and hurts the other seems counter to this concept. Moreover, how can a man stand to hurt the woman he is supposed to love and care about just to experience an orgasm? 

My husband and I have had anal sex two times and it is pleasurable to me but hurts at first and leaves me sore for serveral days. For the mild pleasure it gives me, the discomfort is not worth it so we don't do it anymore. He does not want to do it because he does not want to hurt me. I would wonder about his love for me if he could have pleasure knowing that I will have pain. There is something very wrong in that. 

I think that women should say no to anything painful or degrading. If her partner does not drop it, buy a dildo about the size of his penis and a stap on and tell him you've developed a need to give him anal sex. If he get says no, point out that he should understand how you feel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Many women don't think it's degrading or too painful. I like pain anyway  Sometimes vaginal sex is painful, should i stop that too?

There's really nothing I wouldn't do with my body to please my husband and he's open to everything too. At least once, is our motto. lol.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> I would wonder about his love for me if he could have pleasure knowing that I will have pain. There is something very wrong in that.


Then you shouldn't come into our bed LOLLL We love pain. It's a mutual feeling with us and it doesn't mean we don't love each other.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Then you shouldn't come into our bed LOLLL We love pain. It's a mutual feeling with us and it doesn't mean we don't love each other.



You need to change your name to 'Oh you dirty_girl' ha ha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

golfergirl said:


> You need to change your name to 'Oh you dirty_girl' ha ha
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


lolll I was so pleased to FINALLY find someone that was into the same things I was. Finally. Most people just backed away slowly....:rofl: Ok...sorry to threadjack!


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Then you shouldn't come into our bed LOLLL We love pain. It's a mutual feeling with us and it doesn't mean we don't love each other.


:iagree: Totally agree, pleasure and pain are not mutually exclusive, it's not one or the other for me/everyone. 

But, if you ever tell my husband that it's possible to have anal sex continuously for 10 minutes I will hunt you down and kill you! There isn't enough liquor and lube on earth for me to last that long.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'mAllIn said:


> :iagree: Totally agree, pleasure and pain are not mutually exclusive, it's not one or the other for me/everyone.
> 
> But, if you ever tell my husband that it's possible to have anal sex continuously for 10 minutes I will hunt you down and kill you! There isn't enough liquor and lube on earth for me to last that long.


:rofl::rofl: Yea...10 minutes is about my limit. But that's when I'm already pretty loosened up by a bottle of wine. The longer you go, the better it feels.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

that_girl said:


> :rofl::rofl: Yea...10 minutes is about my limit. But that's when I'm already pretty loosened up by a bottle of wine. The longer you go, the better it feels.


I know, but I just can't last that long before, well, you know...:smthumbup:


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

But you like pain so it's all good. Many women don't like pain. 

I never said anal sex is degrading. If it is mutually pleasurable how could it be. Degrading is largely in the eye of the beholder, although some things are inherently degrading. But some people are arroused by that. 

I heard the vaginal sex hurting would I stop having it. Yea if it hurt consistently unless I was a masochist. Right after childbirth and the first sexual experience hurts and that is normal. But other than that these I would stop and find out whats wrong and fix it. Sex does not have to be sacrificial for women; it certainly is not for men. I don't understand what is behind this thinking, im puzzled because I don't feel that way at all. Some women endure pain and don't tell their partner and don't seek help. Maybe they think they should make this sacrifice. 

If I got no orgasm out of sex I would pull out all the stops to learn why and to make it pleasurable. If I couldnt fix it, I would still have sex with my husband because my need for skin to skin contact for affection cannot be satisfied in any other way. Also seeing him orgasm gives me a thrill that is like nothing I have ever experienced. I get a lot out of sex in addition to an orgasm but I could not have sex if it hurt. .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Then you shouldn't come into our bed LOLLL We love pain. It's a mutual feeling with us and it doesn't mean we don't love each other.


Wait Wait let's not be so hasty, if I knew this was on offer, I would not have said anything. ((Sigh)) I never get to be a bad girl. ;((
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Laurae1967 said:


> I like the idea of anal sex, but in practice it seems like a hassle. The times I've done it with my H it hurt a bit and we had to go really slow. We have a butt plug that we have used (on me) which can be fun.
> 
> Would love to hear from the other women on this forum about their successful anal sex experiences. Have any women really enjoyed it and been able to O that way?
> 
> ...


:lol::lol::lol:

I have had orgasms from anal. It is a very different yet pleasurable experience.

Pain can be lessened by going slow and lots of lube. Our butts really aren't meant for sex.

Ugh, nothing takes away my arousal than seeing a porn actress with an anus like a fist.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Wait Wait let's not be so hasty, if I knew this was on offer, I would not have said anything. ((Sigh)) I never get to be a bad girl. ;((
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

I'm not a proponent of women doing things they don't want to do in bed. Some people like anal sex and do it because they want to, not to submit themselves to torture to please their man.

I myself am not into intense pain, although I like nipple clamps from time to time.....but it's more erotic than painful.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

There was a time in my life when I thought I'd never be sexually satisfied. The men I dated were very vanilla and I thought myself to be a freak. Sex was not enjoyable, nor was it something i could talk to my mates about. 

I was raised to wait until marriage, but I waited until I was ready...even then, at 21, i thought--- "This is it?" I was disappointed.

That's why I'm a firm believer in sex before marriage...at least talking IN DEPTH about what you think you may like, what interests you, etc.

But then I found my hubs and holyyyyyy crap. We're freaks together


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> :lol::lol::lol:
> 
> Ugh, nothing takes away my arousal than seeing a porn actress with an anus like a fist.


I don't understand the attraction with the big gaping butthole in porn. If it's so loose, how can you control your bowels?:scratchhead:

I also wonder how those anal actresses, with all their enthusiastic butt licking or c0ck sucking after it's been in their butt, don't get e-coli. Even with an enema, there has got to be some lingering bacteria up there!


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Thatgirl, sounds like u were pretty damn lucky to find somebody sexually compatible..that is awesome, and so damn important..

Me and my wife used to try anal but she never was into it, wether it was painful or not she just isn't freaky at all in bed..i am probably wilder than most people, so anal sex with women is something I think about all the time..

Those porn stars butts are only temporary stretched, lots of lube and slow penetration at first allows for good times with anal sex, been there done that..goodtimes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

My wife LOVES it on occasion. We have occassional false starts where it doesnt feel good to her probably every third time. We both just move on to something else. 

We have sex 2 to 5 times per week and anal about once a month. Its kindof a treat for us. 

I dont mean to be graphic or ecxhibitionsit but when we are successful with it, it opens up just like her vagina and feels like it to but she is absolutely howling in pleasure and has some of her strongest orgams that way. 

She just loves it but every third time its doesnt work out in terms of initial penetration so we role with it.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Laurae1967 said:


> I don't understand the attraction with the big gaping butthole in porn. If it's so loose, how can you control your bowels?:scratchhead:
> 
> I also wonder how those anal actresses, with all their enthusiastic butt licking or c0ck sucking after it's been in their butt, don't get e-coli. Even with an enema, there has got to be some lingering bacteria up there!


AND - if her butt is the size of the Grand Canyon... What is the POINT unless you're going to have anal sex with an elephant???

Big, gaping booty isn't going to provide much friction or pleasure, I would imagine...

Btw. I've never tried anal. I was curious until my husband "accidentally" intruded upon my @$$ once... So butt-lovin' is out of the question for now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

I agree with Catherine regarding anal. It should be pleasurable for both. I dated a girl that would practically beg for anal and you she would O like crazy. 

My wife seems uninterested and i have not pushed the issue. I personally would like to experiment with more anal play for me too. My wife once put her finger up mine during bjob and was cool.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's ewww, I don't like the butthole. My wife offered and she has tried it before in her past, but thankfully she prefers it in the "right hole" anyways and so I've never gone up that path. When she offered her butt to me it was almost like she wanted to express that I could do whatever I wanted with her but meh... ewww... bleh.

What's worse, is that she has a fantasy of shoving something up MY butt >.>


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

All I can say, is that providing you are both happy with it, then ANYTHING goes - providing its done in the right place/time etc! (and isnt illegal!!!)

To those of you with wives/husbands who are prepared to 'give it a try'.... well done...you don't know how luck you are!


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I never initiated it or even brought it up in conversation but it was a fantasy of my W, She loves it and says it gives her the most unusual intense and different kind of orgasm. 

There is a fine line between pain and pleasure !


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i guess im a lucky one... wifes a anal freak,can't figure it out either,for the first 15 years it was nomans land,then all of a sudden....waaaam, thats all she wants.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Could we stop saying "big gaping butthole" please?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Could we stop saying "big gaping butthole" please?



....unless we are talking about apple's ex


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> ....unless we are talking about apple's ex


:lol:

:rofl:

OK! Agreed!!! :smthumbup:


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## Jen S (Nov 10, 2011)

My husband and I had anal once, early in our marriage. He's never been into it but we tried it out. I ended up having an orgasm that went on and on. It wasn't the usual intense orgasm, but like an 80% intensity orgasm that lasted for 15 minutes and I couldn't move but it just kept going. He was standing there like what the heck should I do?! And he's wanted to try it again over the years but I just was so scared at the same time as feeling so good that I've been afraid to try again and there's no way.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

I cannot orgasm from it, just wish he could last longer with it,, but enjoy it. When doing anal, it makes me very wet...
And it only hurts till he is finally all the way in. ( lots of back up, back up, slow..." he usually just sits there and lets me back into him,,it helps to go in and out a few times till " doable"..lol

I love to feel him grab my hips while thrusting,, helps me feel like I'm giving him that "forbidden treat" 
His legs about give out from the enjoyment afterwards...


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Jen S said:


> My husband and I had anal once, early in our marriage. He's never been into it but we tried it out. I ended up having an orgasm that went on and on. It wasn't the usual intense orgasm, but like an 80% intensity orgasm that lasted for 15 minutes and I couldn't move but it just kept going. He was standing there like what the heck should I do?! And he's wanted to try it again over the years but I just was so scared at the same time as feeling so good that I've been afraid to try again and there's no way.


A 15 minute 80% orgasm?

And you haven't tried this again because......????????


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## Jen S (Nov 10, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> A 15 minute 80% orgasm?
> 
> And you haven't tried this again because......????????


You sound like him. He's always wanting to do it again, just because it was something he was so proud of. I don't know what happened. I just went from being thrilled by it to being scared that it just went on and on. He says it was scary even because I'm there arching my back and rolling my eyes like its a seizure, but it was just the best thing ever but scared the bleep out of me.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

He likely hit your gspot

That's far from scary, it's friggin awesome

My wife has those 15 minute orgasms about 4 times a week, she doesn't seem scared to me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jen S (Nov 10, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> He likely hit your gspot
> 
> That's far from scary, it's friggin awesome
> 
> ...


We saw this really old movie called The Entity a few years ago and there's a scene where the lady lies on the bed and gets ravished by a ghost. weird. She couldn't move but just came and came and was hollering. It felt like that to me, minus the scary ghost part lol.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Yeah, he was likely hitting your gspot thru the colon, gspot o's are intense and long

I have no idea why you wouldn't want that, you crazy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jen S (Nov 10, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Yeah, he was likely hitting your gspot thru the colon, gspot o's are intense and long
> 
> I have no idea why you wouldn't want that, you crazy
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know I am, he just gets so intense on wanting it to happen again. And I've always been standoffish sexually speaking. He got me to squirt once after a porn I loved and he wants it to happen again and its like no way.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Jen S said:


> You sound like him. He's always wanting to do it again, just because it was something he was so proud of. I don't know what happened. I just went from being thrilled by it to being scared that it just went on and on. He says it was scary even because I'm there arching my back and rolling my eyes like its a seizure, but it was just the best thing ever but scared the bleep out of me.


He should get some kind of badge for that. Medal of honor - something.

And AR - if this is something you can give to a woman - ANY woman - with any consistency - then write a book - please. I will buy the first copy.

Men don't have G-Spots, do we?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jen, get some IC
If you can't just enjoy sex when it's downright fun then you have some serious issues
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jen S (Nov 10, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Jen, get some IC
> If you can't just enjoy sex when it's downright fun then you have some serious issues
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've had some, but I always just bring up easier things to talk about than marriage and sex. Dumb I know.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> He should get some kind of badge for that. Medal of honor - something.
> 
> And AR - if this is something you can give to a woman - ANY woman - with any consistency - then write a book - please. I will buy the first copy.
> 
> Men don't have G-Spots, do we?


No but my OM "heard" from a "friend" that getting f'd by a dildo in the ass is the male version (I have no inclination to find that out)

As far as female gspots, I think it has much to do with the woman's physiology, mental attitude and even age
But for me I insert my middle finger into her vagina and do a come here motion with it, which rubs a slightly rough spot on the front wall
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jen S said:


> I've had some, but I always just bring up easier things to talk about than marriage and sex. Dumb I know.


I'm going to go bang my head on a wall for a bit
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> No but my OM "heard" from a "friend" that getting f'd by a dildo in the ass is the male version (I have no inclination to find that out)
> 
> As far as female gspots, I think it has much to do with the woman's physiology, mental attitude and even age
> But for me I insert my middle finger into her vagina and do a come here motion with it, which rubs a slightly rough spot on the front wall
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As for the first thing - 

And the second thing - been there - done that with STBX. It was "different" from clitoral - so she claimed. But it wasn't a prolonged type of thing as was described above.

Guess women - and women's orgasms - are kind of like snowflakes, eh?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Well 3 years ago my wife felt the same way
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> Well 3 years ago my wife felt the same way
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So - it used to just be the same but different? And now its "80% for 15 Minutes"???

Was trying to think - if women are like snowflakes - then men are like...???


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I read that the vaginal lining gets thinner as women age, so some get more sensitive at that point. It's part of the reason women hit their peak in their thirties aside from hormonal changes

That said, not every woman can have gspot o's or anal o's for that matter, I'm lucky my wife has both
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> I read that the vaginal lining gets thinner as women age, so some get more sensitive at that point. It's part of the reason women hit their peak in their thirties aside from hormonal changes
> 
> That said, not every woman can have gspot o's or anal o's for that matter, I'm lucky my wife has both
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Small correction - SHE'S lucky!!!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Wrong, when your wife has o's like that then You get plenty of sex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Almostrecovered said:


> Wrong, when your wife has o's like that then You get plenty of sex
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I stand corrected!!!

:smthumbup:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Wajee said:


> :iagree:
> I most like your lines "buy a dildo about the size of his penis and a stap on and tell him you've developed a need to give him anal sex. If he get says no, point out that he should understand how you feel."


And - what if he says "OK!"???


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Could we stop saying "big gaping butthole" please?


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Could we stop saying "big gaping butthole" please?


:rofl: You are on fire today....so funny.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Pidge70 we are on the same page....I literally laughed out loud when I read Nice777guy's line.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Laurae1967 said:


> Pidge70 we are on the same page....I literally laughed out loud when I read Nice777guy's line.


I seriously did too. He cracks me up!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Men, just know that if you go for the butt-lovin, don't be shocked if a fart slips out. Just sayin. 

It's not happened to me...but my sister has a horribly hilarious story about butt lovin' gone wrong.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Men, just know that if you go for the butt-lovin, don't be shocked if a fart slips out. Just sayin.
> 
> It's not happened to me...but my sister has a horribly hilarious story about butt lovin' gone wrong.


Butt lovin gone wrong....on the next Maury. :rofl:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

joe kidd said:


> Butt lovin gone wrong....on the next Maury. :rofl:


Can't top that one!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Can't top that one!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can. Google rectal prolapse.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

pidge70 said:


> I seriously did too. He cracks me up!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And be careful using the word "crack" too - please!!!

And RBE - I refuse to Google that!! U nasty!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

michzz said:


> You people just get too cheeky
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We're the butt of jokes.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

michzz said:


> Hopefully, the end is near.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'll have to analyze that.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Anal prolapse. LOL It wasn't that bad...but....the sheets needed to be changed...


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Anal prolapse. LOL It wasn't that bad...but....the sheets needed to be changed...


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

You guys are all so "punny".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Feels good to help people!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ayan (Nov 26, 2011)

I like anal but my ass doesn't. lol


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

we tried, but I think I'm too big to do this without LOTS of prep time. I think it's something you have to dedicate an afternoon to. maybe when we reach our empty nest years. :lol:

we have had some good times with a vibrator. if I put a toy up there and then penetrate her regularly, it feels AMAZING!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

nader said:


> we tried, but I think I'm too big to do this without LOTS of prep time. I think it's something you have to dedicate an afternoon to. maybe when we reach our empty nest years. :lol:


"Alright honey - the kids are gone - take off her pants and lets lube 'er up!!!"

Just struck me as funny! Not sure why!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

massages help too to loosen up the area  Just trim your fingernails. Gawd.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

in all seriousness

my wife does have to "prep" herself a touch, it's not like I lube it up and dive in

a fun thing we did last week was that she did a vibe show for me and eventually inserted the vibe into her anus to loosen it up a bit and then I was able to go to anal town, was incredibly hot for both of us


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Many women don't think it's degrading or too painful. I like pain anyway  Sometimes vaginal sex is painful, should i stop that too?
> 
> There's really nothing I wouldn't do with my body to please my husband and he's open to everything too. At least once, is our motto. lol.


Good girl
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> lolll I was so pleased to FINALLY find someone that was into the same things I was. Finally. Most people just backed away slowly....:rofl: Ok...sorry to threadjack!


That is actually one of the things I'm most scared of when I think of finding someone new. STBXH and I did fly the freak flag with each other quite a bit, up til the time things really started to go pear-shaped. That was more of an issue between us than a change in what we liked, though. 

I never told him up front what I liked & didn't like because in that point of my life, I'd been really sheltered and didn't KNOW what I liked. It was all a wonderful period of discovery. Now I do know what I like and don't like. At what point in a relationship do you say to someone, "Oh, I like anal, and tie me up once in a while, too, please"? I don't want a sadist, or a psychopath, just someone that's not vanilla.

Sorry -- just realized I also threadjacked. 

As to the OP's question: I don't think you can make it less of a hassle just because of the lube, etc., involved. Unless you get to the point where he can just use your own juices and a pre-lubed condom. Sometimes that makes it comfortable enough for me. It is a totally different experience. 

And JenS -- One time, I used a finger (with well-trimmed nail, of course  ) on STBXH while I went down on him. He was always afraid of trying anything anal (feared pain? feared being gay? Who the hell knows -- he could give it w/ no problem). He told me it was one of the most intense orgasm he'd ever had --- aaaaannnd never let me do it again. So, you're not the only one. I just had to give up trying to offer him that pleasure again. Poor sod.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> And JenS -- One time, I used a finger (with well-trimmed nail, of course  ) on STBXH while I went down on him. He was always afraid of trying anything anal (feared pain? feared being gay? Who the hell knows -- he could give it w/ no problem). He told me it was one of the most intense orgasm he'd ever had --- aaaaannnd never let me do it again. So, you're not the only one. I just had to give up trying to offer him that pleasure again. Poor sod.


god were we married to the same guy?


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Jen S said:


> I've had some, but I always just bring up easier things to talk about than marriage and sex. Dumb I know.


Aaaarrgghh!! That's what STBXH said in his ILYBINILWY speech! Years of therapy and never ever brought up his marriage! 

PLEASE bring it up next time you go. Please, pretty please...


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

angelpixie said:


> Aaaarrgghh!! That's what STBXH said in his ILYBINILWY speech! Years of therapy and never ever brought up his marriage!
> 
> PLEASE bring it up next time you go. Please, pretty please...


This is one of my regrets when my marriage fell apart - so many things I was always too shy to talk about, even when we first married she didn't know I had a secret porn obsession (that I pretty much stopped cold turkey when I realized how betrayed she felt when she found out) - all my life sex was so secretive... I hated that she would tell her friends about every little detail (though she only ever had positive things to say, except the last year or so when it just wasn't enough).

One thing I learned about digging through her internet history and cell phone logs was that she was a freak, and I so regret that I wasn't telling her all the freaky things I wanted to do to her and have her do to me (though I don't she was really up for being the do'er). By the end of our marriage she was the one with the porn obsession.

Six months after separation, before my divorce was final I started dating a woman who was as horny as me and we didn't hold back for long, it was getting pretty fantastic but I ended it because I knew she wasn't long term interest for me and I was getting too attached, but dang the sex was good made me feel like a kind of man I hadn't really felt for a long time, If ever. We were starting to get really freaky too which makes me sad because I know it will take time to build that kind of trust with someone again.


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Jen S said:


> My husband and I had anal once, early in our marriage. He's never been into it but we tried it out. I ended up having an orgasm that went on and on. It wasn't the usual intense orgasm, but like an 80% intensity orgasm that lasted for 15 minutes and I couldn't move but it just kept going. He was standing there like what the heck should I do?! And he's wanted to try it again over the years but I just was so scared at the same time as feeling so good that I've been afraid to try again and there's no way.


Why would you not try again?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Jen S said:


> I just feel uncomfortable in therapy, like they're trying to pry into my life.


Well, they kind of are, but I assume that's what you're going there for, right? Honesty and full disclosure is the only way a therapist can help you with whatever you're there for. If you really have a trust issue, you may not have found the right therapist yet. Good luck!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Jen S said:


> I just feel uncomfortable in therapy, like they're trying to pry into my life.


Yeah...they kind of have to pry a bit in order to give you personalized advice...


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