# Made plans to leave



## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

I have a friend with a big house, she has extra bedrooms since her 4 kids have grown and left. Her husband died 15 years ago. She is going to rent me one of the bedrooms for $600 a month, and I plan to leave May 1st. I feel so relieved that I have made a decision about this, and my latest decision is that I am not going to make any more decisions right now. I have a financial advisor, and I see an attorney in a few weeks, and I am going to let them help me with whatever decisions come next. But for now, I am just glad to have found somewhere to go that I can afford.

I don't plan to tell my husband for a couple of weeks, as I think it will be a mistake to tell him a month in advance. Then I will tell the kids, that will be the hardest part. I am expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.

On one hand I am terrified of leaving, we have been married almost 25 years. On the other hand, I feel a sense of freedom. I know my life is going to change immensely, and my financial situation is bleak, but I think I can make it work.


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## Smartman (Dec 19, 2012)

I think the hardest thing is telling the kids and being scared to death. Some how just getting the courage is the hardest thing. So glad to hear that you have gotten the courage and have a thought out plan on what to do. I been married almost 30 years and need to do what you are doing. Good luck with it and keep us posted.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

What a wonderful arrangement you have come up with! Good for you!


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## lonely one (Sep 3, 2012)

Good for you! Sounds like a great plan. You will have a wonderful rest of your life.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I assume your kids are out of the house?


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## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

My son is 22 and lives with us, my daughter is in college.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

Good for you! I'm currently trying to find a place to live before I tell my H I want a divorce. I want to stay in my sons school district. I'm trying to find a 6 month lease for an apartment...I don't want to get stuck somewhere for a year. Your arrangement sounds awesome. It sounds like your timing and mine are similar. I am hoping to have the big plans finalized by the end of this month. Keep us posted!


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## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

Thanks Waking Up! How old is your son? I agree, I didn't want to be tied into a specific amount of time to be away, because I am not convinced that divorce is the answer, we may be able to work this out. I think it is going to weird to live with someone who may actually talk to me, I am not used to that here with my husband. Good luck to you.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Why are you leaving?


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## Goldfinch (Jan 22, 2013)

Thound - I am leaving because in November I found out that my husband has gotten us into tremendous debt, has opened 7 credit cards, has "borrowed" $60,000 from his family, has used up all of the equity in our home to the point where now that we are selling it we may not be able to pay off the mortgage, has used all of the funds in our kids college savings accounts, and has been gambling all along. This has gone on for 25 years. I need to extricate myself from this situation and figure out what I am going to do. Not necessarily divorce, depending on whether my husband ever admits that he has a problem.


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