# Affirmation: Giving Your Partner the Gift of Words



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words but you shouldn’t underestimate the power of words. For some people, receiving a kind word means infinitely more than a thoughtful gift. Giving your partner the gift of affirmation is incredibly important if you want your relationship to work for the long-term – keep reading to learn more.

*Understanding the Five Love Languages*

People give and receive love in different ways. For example, you might show your partner you love them by cooking a nice meal or by buying them a gift while your partner might show love by making time for the two of you to spend together or by giving you a hug. The way in which you understand and communicate love is called a love language and the five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. While you may give and receive love through all of these means, there is probably one that resonates with you most. Being able to identify your own language as well as your partner’s love language is very important for a healthy long-term relationship. One of the most important (and one of the most frequently overlooked) love languages is words of affirmation.

*Why is Affirmation Important in a Marriage?*

Your spouse knows you love them – after all, they married you! But sometimes you really need to put your thoughts and feelings into words, even if you think that they are obvious. Being open in affirming your partner (and receiving affirmation in return) can significantly deepen your bond and strengthen your relationship. To give you an idea what this might look like, consider using some of these affirmative phrases with your spouse:



I love you
I appreciate you
I admire you
I understand you

While it may seem silly to use these phrases as they are (except for “I love you,” of course), these are powerful sentiments that you should try working into your conversations with your spouse. Taking the time to acknowledge your partner’s strengths and successes is very important – your partner wants to know that you are proud of them and that you see and appreciate the things they do for you. Your partner also wants to know that you understand them and that you can see things from their point of view. Do not underestimate the power of a simple apology, either – the act of saying you are sorry and admitting fault can be very affirming in its own way.

It may take some time and practice to learn how to use words of affirmation effectively. It may help for you to spend some time thinking about the things you love and appreciate most about your partner. Once you have a list in your head all you have to do is share it! Remember, giving your partner words of affirmation is not about manipulating them into doing something you want and it is not about giving empty compliments – it is about expressing your love and appreciation for your partner in a way that they can clearly understand. Being communicative and compassionate with each other is a great way to improve the strength and depth of your partnership.


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