# She's Gone



## whatalife (Aug 23, 2012)

Well here i am i didn't think i would write into this forum,but i feel so rotten i have no choice.
My story 17 year relationship no kids she has 1 grown up man child,we are both in our mid 50's,have a great house live in one of the best spots in Australia.two months ago as we were driving to work we had a cleaning business my wife out of the blue tells me she is not happy and she was not in love with me any more.
Usual story i read in this forum,it was shock for me i had no idea or maybe i didn't listen.She told me she needed a few days to sort out here head so she moved into her son's place.now 2months later she does not want to come back today she will be going overseas for 5 weeks.
We decided to go to see a councillor my wife told me she would not come back unless we sought out help i agreed,so we are at the councillor had a session, the councillor tells me she wants to see me for 3 sessions i agree,in the meantime she is seeing her own councillor she is also on anti depression tabs,my wife keeps telling me she is confused and can't make up here mind,so i wait ,and wait,and wait.I have been running around like her puppy doing anything she needs in the meantime.I have asked her on several occasions that we will see the councillor together soon as the councillor mentioned it to me,but my wife did not seem to interested.two days before she was about to leave oversees i confronted her about committing to our counselling sessions i just wanted her to say yes i want us to work this out.I was starting to loose my dignity and starting to look like a needy helpless man not very attractive i know ,anyway so i asked her she as i thought she would said I am not interested at this stage to come back home i am not in love with you i feel so much lighter since i left.This cut me to the bone i have been a mess the past couple of days,maybe i should have left it and the time away may have sorted things out ,but i felt like i was holding the torch while she was gone and i didn't want to give her the impression i would always be there for her.i have had no contact with her in the two days she was here she sent me a text thanking me for a facial i bought her as i know she loves i did not reply.in the past two months when we are together she fusses over me we sometime have a hug and a kiss but only when we are alone she will not do that if our friends are around,i told her she was sending me mixed messages but she said she was only being nice.She is 58 years old and i think she may be going through a mid life crisis she is trying to reinvent herself more power to her for that but i don't understand why she could not do that and still be with me.So there it is in a nutshell i wont bore you with the minor details but I am going through hell and i can't wait to get to the other side.i guess i still have a chance when she gets back but i don't want to live in hope that she does and i told her that,i have taken all photos of her off my wall and trying to get rid of everything that re minds me of her.Don't tell her but i really do hope she comes back after her trip.what you think guys?:scratchhead:


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

whatalife said:


> Don't tell her but i really do hope she comes back after her trip.what you think guys?:scratchhead:


We won't tell.

If I was you I'd spend the time learning how to stop chasing her all over the place. 

It's not good for you and it won't bring her back.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

sharkeey said:


> We won't tell.
> 
> If I was you I'd spend the time learning how to stop chasing her all over the place.
> 
> It's not good for you and it won't bring her back.


I agree. Don't chase her. If she is at all interested, she will come to you. Focus on yourself. Go to counselling. Work at being the best you can be. Grow strong so that you are prepared for whatever happens.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

She's 58. Unless you were abusive to her, there's very little chance of her finding anyone better than you who is willing to love her enough.

Make yourself completely unavailable to her. I mean completely.

In time she will realize how bad she's f***ed up. What she does after is up to her and whether you will allow her back into your life will be up to you.

Get yourself to a position of strength while she's away. It's a great opportunity for you to gain your self-respect back.

Read the following book in the next couple of days and take it from there:

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf


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## whatalife (Aug 23, 2012)

Thanks guys all good comments ,and yes i wont make myself available to her i decided that yesterday she is leaving today i was going to take her to the airport, she had to find other means
synthetic: i will take your advice it is a good opp while she is away to get strong again, i was never abusive to her so she can't hold that against me,she just wants MORE


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