# Why Real Men Are a Dying Breed



## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

What would Putin do?


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

The guy who trained me to do what I do now, and who is much better at it than me, took your advice. He punched out a guy at Walmart who made a lewd comment to his wife. Now he's got an assault charge on his record, got the pay the guys medical bills+ pain and suffering, and best of all is divorced. Because the kind of company I work for that pays top dollar won't hire him with the criminal record. So he struggled to support his family and she left.

Just plain stupid to swing first nowadays. Antagonizing the guy to hit you first in front of witnesses, now that's a different story.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

So if the drunk actually slapped the husband, then ok yeah the husband has a right to be physical right back at him. But seriously? I don't think that happened. If the guy was THAT drunk that he would harass a group of strangers and then slap one of them, the management should be liable for anything that happens next for serving an already drunk person.

But to your overall question...I've literally never been with a man in any circumstance where violence happened or was necessary or called for. Men being violent to each other is definitely not what "being a man" is in my eyes. 

You guys need to stop thinking about violence in terms of manhood.

The only physical fights I've ever been near or around were when another girl (we were in our teens) was trying to fight me over something stupid. We tussled and I basically ended up holding her down until an adult came by and broke it up. And even then, I didn't feel any particular way about it, I was just glad neither of us got hurt. Because although the girl was a wild dumbass, I didn't wish physical harm on her.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Faithful Wife said:


> So if the drunk actually slapped the husband, then ok yeah the husband has a right to be physical right back at him. But seriously? I don't think that happened. If the guy was THAT drunk that he would harass a group of strangers and then slap one of them, the management should be liable for anything that happens next for serving an already drunk person.
> 
> But to your overall question...I've literally never been with a man in any circumstance where violence happened or was necessary or called for. Men being violent to each other is definitely not what "being a man" is in my eyes.
> 
> ...


Faithful Wife, welcome back 

Sorry for temp tj folks.

Eta correct spelling. Hell, I can't spell!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Women can usually handle rude men with just their mouths.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Doesn’t look like the whole story was described on the radio show.

I agree the husband should have stood up to be a road block in front of the women. He should have raised his hands, palms up (non-threatening) and then asked what the drunk wanted. If the drunk strikes up a convo, take him back to the bar and inform the bartender that this guy is drunk and was looking to bother a table of women he was sitting with.

if the drunk slaps him, attempt to de-escalate by Holding his arms down and get the attention of the bar staff. If the drunk starts throwing hay-makers, do what you have to do to defend yourself.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

This topic was kind of covered in another thread. I said it over there And I’ll say it here. Any guy, drunk or sober, that hits on a woman in front of her significant other is looking for a fight. You’re not going to deescalate a hothead looking for trouble.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


He did great. He needs to have a come to Jesus talk with his wife because she is ridiculously out of touch with reality.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


You aren't wrong. The feminization and emasculation of the Western male marches on.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Are real men a dying breed or is the women who are? Ope, yeah I said it lol.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I say all that, simply because while I wouldn’t call myself a feminist or an ‘alpha’ female. I’m kind of hard, self made really, forced to be strong. I didn’t have much choice when I was married and now, the circumstances I’ve been left to leave little room for anything else.

I’ve realized it’s going to take a strong, and I do mean strong, mentally, masculinely (not certain that’s a word but it is now) and yet a tender type of man to handle me. I want to be soft, I want you to take up for me and if your physically assaulted, by all means defend yourself and me. I’ll try to be a lady and stay seated and not give anyone a black eye myself, buuut…. He had to understand, I’ve been the one fighting so it’s engrained in me haha. 

I would, however, never do what this broad did and call him out in public for what he did. Heck no.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

The drunk threw the first blow. He was fair game after that.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

The drunk engaged first and the man put him down. No foul on the play. But the wife? Time to rethink the relationship


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


Did you actually hear her call into the the show? What was the response to this woman?


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> The drunk engaged first and the man put him down. No foul on the play. But the wife? Time to rethink the relationship


THIS


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

People getting into fights was only a problem I encountered during my late teens and (very) early twenties. I'm in my mid forties now so for the most part, if I'm in a place with belligerent drunks, there'd generally be people whose job it was there to deal with them.




























I have 6 years of wrestling experience and was in the military so I probably could still handle business if it absolutely needed to be handled right away. I _would_ at least start with a calm or joking manner because fighting for fighting's sake is just dumb.

The first drunken slap would probably have so much nostalgia behind it, that I'd probably catch a case of the giggles. I'd at least grin up at him. I'm a wrestler so, I wouldn't throw a punch (you might hurt yourself that way) but he'd likely be on the ground before he realized that things had not gone as planned anyway. I mean almost nobody suspects the short skinny guy, amirite?


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## mwise003 (1 mo ago)

gaius said:


> The guy who trained me to do what I do now, and who is much better at it than me, took your advice. He punched out a guy at Walmart who made a lewd comment to his wife. Now he's got an assault charge on his record, got the pay the guys medical bills+ pain and suffering, and best of all is divorced. Because the kind of company I work for that pays top dollar won't hire him with the criminal record. So he struggled to support his family and she left.
> 
> Just plain stupid to swing first nowadays. Antagonizing the guy to hit you first in front of witnesses, now that's a different story.


He didn't swing first, the drunk slapped him...


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Women can usually handle rude men with just their mouths.


If by themselves, sure.

When a man is with them? More times than I can count, the man ends up bearing the brunt for the woman's mouth, effectively putting him in the exact same situation with an intermediate step in the middle.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

If there was a woman that did that same thing to my husband, as we say here in the South, "I would ring her jaws." Just saying.


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## mwise003 (1 mo ago)

If he was that drunk and making lewd comments, I probably would have stood up too when he approached. I've seen drunk guys in bars throw bottles across the room at guys who just looked in their direction. 

You know, we see all kinds of things nowadays. I've seen women get mad at their man for getting upset when other guys hit on her in front of him and she'll say, "stop mate-guarding". 

For some reason, this is seen as a negative trait... I guess we'd have to really break down each scenario as that is a broad stroke.

That being said...
Here is how I handle this type of thing and I had to be very clear with my wife a few years ago at a bar in ST Lucia. 
What happened: 
I thought it was pretty innocent, but my wife didn't. We were at the swim-up bar, drinks flowing. She starts talking to this guy that is pretty buzzed, I'm included in the convo. After about 10-15 minutes his wife appears just as someone behind the bar asked him if he wanted a photograph of the two of them. He put his arm around my wife and his wife and said, how do you know I'm not with both of them? I chuckled, thought it was harmless... he didn't cop a feel and he was laughing and quickly took his arm off my wife and took the photograph with his wife. 
30 minutes later, yes alcohol involved, my wife is fuming I didn't say or do something... it almost ruined our vacation believe it or not.

However, I don't grovel, I don't say I'm sorry. I simply state my boundaries and how I expect things to be handled.
How I handle:
I'm not ALWAYS going to be there when men hit on her. I'm also not always going to know when she feels like something is inappropriate. It's her job to verbally stop any flirting from other men. It's my job to stop them when that doesn't work.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)




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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Did you actually hear her call into the the show? What was the response to this woman?


Yes, I heard the woman calling in and complaining about her husband. The female psychologist that the woman called told her that she should be proud of her husband for taking care of business.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

This may be a very unpopular opinion to some people here but violence does have a time and place sometimes.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

My state recently changed to an "open carry" state which means you don't need a permit to carry a gun into public spaces like bars, concerts, sporting events, etc... I have stopped going to places where alcohol is served for this reason. 

In the scenario described in the OP, I would have wanted to deescalate the situation without violence only because the risk of having someone get shot is high where I live.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

farsidejunky said:


> If by themselves, sure.
> 
> When a man is with them? More times than I can count, the man ends up bearing the brunt for the woman's mouth, effectively putting him in the exact same situation with an intermediate step in the middle.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


I never did. I only saw one fight in all the clubs I went to to see gigs, and that guy was a well-known bully and psycho. I didn't run around with a crowd that liked to fight. 

I did see two bands go at it one time, not to do with women.


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## mwise003 (1 mo ago)

Lila said:


> My state recently changed to an "open carry" state which means you don't need a permit to carry a gun into public spaces like bars, concerts, sporting events, etc... I have stopped going to places where alcohol is served for this reason.
> 
> In the scenario described in the OP, I would have wanted to deescalate the situation without violence only because the risk of having someone get shot is high where I live.


Where do you live? You can open carry here, but not in bars or anywhere that serves alcohol and I don't know why you would. One sip and I don't care how it goes down, you're in trouble.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

mwise003 said:


> Where do you live? You can open carry here, but not in bars or anywhere that serves alcohol and I don't know why you would. One sip and I don't care how it goes down, you're in trouble.


I dont know why you would either. I don't go to bars (except at the airport) so I usually don't have to deal with drunk a-holes.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

mwise003 said:


> Where do you live? You can open carry here, but not in bars or anywhere that serves alcohol and I don't know why you would. One sip and I don't care how it goes down, you're in trouble.


Georgia


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think a good tip for people is to not go to just random bars but kind of stick with places where your friends hang out. Seems like there's less potential for trouble.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Women can usually handle rude men with just their mouths.


no comment haha


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

karole said:


> If there was a woman that did that same thing to my husband, as we say here in the South, "I would ring her jaws." Just saying.


Mrs. C would hospitalize a woman that was getting belligerent with me or laid hands on me.

She's only 5' tall but pretty damn feisty!😁


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> no comment haha


Perverted minds think alike!🤜🤛😎


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

At the very least the man should stand up and *shield* his partner. Seriously, that's the bare minimum. If it escalates then so be it.

Honestly OP's story fking pisses me off, if she doesn't appreciate a man who is willing to defend her and her honor then she can go fkin piss off


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

I like to go to bars where everyone knows your name and they're always glad you came...because you know...
Making your way in the world today....Takes everything you got...Taking a break from all your worries... Sure would help a lot... Wouldn't you like to get away?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> At the very least the man should stand up and *shield* his partner. Seriously, that's the bare minimum. If it escalates then so be it.
> 
> Honestly OP's story fking pisses me off, if she doesn't appreciate a man who is willing to defend her and her honor then she can go fkin piss off


She would definitely be out on her ass


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> no comment haha


Well and if that doesn't work they can always leave the immediate vicinity and I've done that many times.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

As someone that worked as a doorman/bouncer for a couple of years, i have a lot of experience with drunken fools..😂

While I suppose its fair game if someone pushed/slapped first, I don't think most people understand what happens if a grown man(especially one with some size/strength) lands a clean punch to the face/head...It has been known to_ kill_ people or often cause a serious traumatic brain injury,..Many people die not from the punch, but from falling down cold and hitting their head very hard...And people who are impaired generally don't have the reflexes to avoid or telegraph a blow...

I haven't set foot in bar in decades, and don't want anything to do with any place where aszholes get drunk and act like idiots..I don't like drunks getting in my face, but I don't want to potentially kill anyone over something like this either...My guess is I would have safely and easily submitted the guy until the bouncers came and tossed him

Also, it is worth mentioning that laws are tricky...You do something like this and you can wind up in legal trouble..


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> As someone that worked as a doorman/bouncer for a couple of years, i have a lot of experience with drunken fools..😂
> 
> While I suppose its fair game if someone pushed/slapped first, I don't think most people understand what happens if a grown man(especially one with some size/strength) lands a clean punch to the face/head...It has been known to_ kill_ people or often cause a serious traumatic brain injury,..Many people die not from the punch, but from falling down cold and hitting their head very hard...And people who are impaired generally don't have the reflexes to avoid or telegraph a blow...
> 
> ...


Yeah. Better let the belligerent guy molest the ladies.

Safer all around and it's only sex.

I know that's not even what you're saying but there is a definite line that crossed, could end in death. It happens.

We don't even know what type of atmosphere was in this place.

I don't frequent places with bouncers though so I might just avoid a lot of trouble anyway.

I'm more of a grappler first as well BTW.👍


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

With the way the local places are here it would be an outsider causing trouble and if they did I can guarantee that wouldn't come back a second time to start again.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

If you go to crappy dive bars, do not go when there are degenerate clientele (with your women). I don’t. My dad sends them off shopping so that’s what I do.

Now when someone gets up in your face the correct answer depends on who it is and how many people they have and exactly where you’re at. Usually (if they’re not gang bangers who will shoot or stab you on the way out) I immediately verbally threaten them with some version of the old “F around and find out”. It’s only happened to me maybe 3 times and they never decided to find out.

On the other hand, if someone on the street does a “what are you looking at” threat and you say “nothing” and they happen to have a huge pit bull on a chain that looks like it wants to eat you and they say, “you want me to fing put the dog on you?” My answer is, “no thank you sir, sorry to bother.”

It all depends on the exact situation.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> If you go to crappy dive bars, do not go when there are degenerate clientele (with your women). I don’t. My dad sends them off shopping so that’s what I do.
> 
> Now when someone gets up in your face the correct answer depends on who it is and how many people they have and exactly where you’re at. Usually (if they’re not gang bangers who will shoot or stab you on the way out) I immediately verbally threaten them with some version of the old “F around and find out”. It’s only happened to me maybe 3 times and they never decided to find out.
> 
> ...


Usually this type loses their bravado when I stand up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Usually this type loses their bravado when I stand up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Some gang banger did threaten me with their dog, I didn’t want to find out. Lol…


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Some gang banger did threaten me with their dog, I didn’t want to find out. Lol…


Don't get many of that type out here. Lol


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It amazes me that people seem to think that using violence makes a real man. There are far better more skilled ways of diffusing a potentially tricky situation.
As has been said, people have died from one punch and the one who did the punching has ended up in jail for many years for man slaughter.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> It amazes me that people seem to think that using violence makes a real man. There are far better more skilled ways of diffusing a potentially tricky situation.
> As has been said, people have died from one punch and the one who did the punching has ended up in jail for many years for man slaughter.


If it wasn't for real men using violence you would be speaking German right now.

Pacifists make me laugh. They will let someone hurt or kill their family members without lifting a hand to stop it.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> It amazes me that people seem to think that using violence makes a real man. There are far better more skilled ways of diffusing a potentially tricky situation.
> As has been said, people have died from one punch and the one who did the punching has ended up in jail for many years for man slaughter.


Violence should always be a last resort. But some drunkard who walks over to a woman's table while she's sitting there with her significant other, and proceeds to hit on/harass said woman, he isn't going to stand there and play nice while the SO tries to figure out non-violent constructive ways to diffuse the situation. Step 1) Leave us alone and F off, Step 2) Babe go get the bouncer and manager, Step 3) Touch me or my wife/fiancé/girlfriend and you're going to spend the next month rethinking your life choices. As others have said, go to bars/clubs you know and are comfortable with, don't go to the biker bar on the other side of the tracks that has Tuesday night rooster fights.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> If it wasn't for real men using violence you would be speaking German right now.
> 
> Pacifists make me laugh. They will let someone hurt or kill their family members without lifting a hand to stop it.


If someone was hurting another physically I would if course help them. I would never hit first nor would I want any man I was with to be violent. War is a completely different thing to punching a guy who just needs to be thrown out of the bar by the owners.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Captain Obvious said:


> Violence should always be a last resort. But some drunkard who walks over to a woman's table while she's sitting there with her significant other, and proceeds to hit on/harass said woman, he isn't going to stand there and play nice while the SO tries to figure out non-violent constructive ways to diffuse the situation. Step 1) Leave us alone and F off, Step 2) Babe go get the bouncer and manager, Step 3) Touch me or my wife/fiancé/girlfriend and you're going to spend the next month rethinking your life choices. As others have said, go to bars/clubs you know and are comfortable with, don't go to the biker bar on the other side of the tracks that has Tuesday night ****-fighting.


There are ways of diffusing the situation. Calling over the owners of the bar who will probably tell him to leave is the best call.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> It amazes me that people seem to think that using violence makes a real man. There are far better more skilled ways of diffusing a potentially tricky situation.
> As has been said, people have died from one punch and the one who did the punching has ended up in jail for many years for man slaughter.


If you’re not physically dangerous you’re missing part of what makes a real man. One of the roles of men is to protect. If you can’t protect, you’re not able to fill that role.

So yes, sometimes it’s necessary to use violence to protect.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> There are ways of diffusing the situation. Calling over the owners of the bar who will probably tell him to leave is the best call.


You must go to really nice bars and have no idea about low down dirty dive bars.

Someone can intend to start a fight with you that you can’t get out of, and the owner will stand there and watch and then maybe call someone after to get the broken bodies hauled off.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> If you’re not physically dangerous you’re missing part of what makes a real man. One of the roles of men is to protect. If you can’t protect, you’re not able to fill that role.
> 
> So yes, sometimes it’s necessary to use violence to protect.


If you can project the THREAT of violence without having to RESORT to violence is the optimal option.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> You must go to really nice bars and have no idea about low down dirty dive bars.
> 
> Someone can intend to start a fight with you that you can’t get out of, and the owner will stand there and watch and then maybe call someone after to get the broken bodies hauled off.


And sometimes the cops won't even show up so you are on your own.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> If you can project the THREAT of violence without having to RESORT to violence is the optimal option.


Of course. Again you need to be able to back it up though because someone is eventually bound to take you up on it.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Of course. Again you need to be able to back it up though because someone is eventually bound to take you up on it.


That has happened


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> There are ways of diffusing the situation. Calling over the owners of the bar who will probably tell him to leave is the best call.


I agree, get the manager, owner, bouncer. But if I told drunkard to leave us alone and he smacks me before they show up, well that's all she wrote.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

See something say/do something there is no room to wait

Me and my wife were at a retirement bash for one of her coworkers and we had a room next store so we did not have to worry.
I was down the bar from my gal doing shots with one of her bi-poler coworkers (its own story) and i look over to where my gal was and saw something. There was this guy on his hands and knees playing with the back of my wife’s knee. I thought fck now I have to go over there, and the guy was bigger them me.
I tapped him on the shoulder and said “That knee belongs to me”, he stood up looking terrified and quickly left. 

My gal? she was so drunk she did not notice. As a guy I keep on her not that she has ever done anything to make me worry.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Max.HeadRoom said:


> See something say/do something there is no room to wait
> 
> Me and my wife were at a retirement bash for one of her coworkers and we had a room next store so we did not have to worry.
> I was down the bar from my gal doing shots with one of her bi-poler coworkers (its own story) and i look over to where my gal was and saw something. There was this guy on his hands and knees playing with the back of my wife’s knee. I thought fck now I have to go over there, and the guy was bigger them me.
> ...


What a perv!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> If you go to crappy dive bars, do not go when there are degenerate clientele (with your women). I don’t. My dad sends them off shopping so that’s what I do.
> 
> Now when someone gets up in your face the correct answer depends on who it is and how many people they have and exactly where you’re at. Usually (if they’re not gang bangers who will shoot or stab you on the way out) I immediately verbally threaten them with some version of the old “F around and find out”. It’s only happened to me maybe 3 times and they never decided to find out.
> 
> ...


I know a good Korean bbq.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> You must go to really nice bars and have no idea about low down dirty dive bars.
> 
> Someone can intend to start a fight with you that you can’t get out of, and the owner will stand there and watch and then maybe call someone after to get the broken bodies hauled off.


She is a nice lady from a very nice place. I've never even visited a place that nice.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Captain Obvious said:


> I agree, get the manager, owner, bouncer. But if I told drunkard to leave us alone and he smacks me before they show up, well that's all she wrote.


Anyone fun enough to step in my garden without permission has earned everything that happens next.😁


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Max.HeadRoom said:


> See something say/do something there is no room to wait
> 
> Me and my wife were at a retirement bash for one of her coworkers and we had a room next store so we did not have to worry.
> I was down the bar from my gal doing shots with one of her bi-poler coworkers (its own story) and i look over to where my gal was and saw something. There was this guy on his hands and knees playing with the back of my wife’s knee. I thought fck now I have to go over there, and the guy was bigger them me.
> ...


That's a great story btw!🍺 Cheers!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I know a good Korean bbq.


Lol… The last time I went to an all you can eat one I was in college and went with my friend. We went to one in Garden Grove, CA that was $30 which at the time was obscene. I think we scared the owner. Went right for the seafood and sat there for 3 hours cooking the entire grill full of their most expensive stuff.



ConanHub said:


> She is a nice lady from a very nice place. I've never even visited a place that nice.


Even a nice place like where I live has a dive bar where someone tried to start a fight with me and I graciously accepted.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Lol… The last time I went to an all you can eat one I was in college and went with my friend. We went to one in Garden Grove, CA that was $30 which at the time was obscene. I think we scared the owner. Went right for the seafood and sat there for 3 hours cooking the entire grill full of their most expensive stuff.
> 
> 
> 
> Even a nice place like where I live has a dive bar where someone tried to start a fight with me and I graciously accepted.


$30??!!!

I'm glad you ate the hell out of that place!

I don't think I'd pay that today.😳


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ConanHub said:


> She is a nice lady from a very nice place. I've never even visited a place that nice.


She's privileged 🤭


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I think I live in one of the top 4 most expensive cities in the US, and a drunken sailor (literally, he had the hat on from his Navy boat) tried to start a fight with me at our shady dive bar. I was like ok bro that’s fine with me let’s do it. He changed his mind.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

"You can't truly call yourself 'peaceful' unless you are capable of great violence. If you are not capable of violence, you are not peaceful, you are harmless."

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Real men ARE capable of being violent, but choose restraint unless left with little to no other options. 

It's funny... We see these guys come into the gym all the time. The ones that absolutely know they can take care of themselves if they 'have to'. 

You know, the ones who are 'dangerous when they see red, bro'. Laughable. Those are the same ones that leave the gym butt hurt for getting rolled up like a pretzel, and never come back.

Very few men are truly dangerous. 

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

farsidejunky said:


> Real men ARE capable of being violent, but choose restraint unless left with little to no other options.
> 
> It's funny... We see these guys come into the gym all the time. The ones that absolutely know they can take care of themselves if they 'have to'.
> 
> ...


I would say you don’t even understand what it is until someone way stronger and better than you can do whatever they want with your body and you can’t stop them.

Once you feel powerless against that person and then wonder how to overcome it and never feel that again and train towards that goal, then you plant the seed.

That happened to me 15 years ago and I keep training all the time to not be in that position ever again.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> I would say you don’t even understand what it is until someone way stronger and better than you *can do whatever they want with your body and you can’t stop them.*
> 
> Once you feel powerless against that person and then wonder how to overcome it and never feel that again and train towards that goal, then you plant the seed.
> 
> That happened to me 15 years ago and I keep training all the time to not be in that position ever again.


Aye, that's the best outcome. Not only can it be exhilaratingly satisfying  but there is minimal bodily injury, maintaining full control of the situation along with their pride 😅

Sometimes you bite off more than you can chew, it happens. That's how we learn our limits and challenge them.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> "You can't truly call yourself 'peaceful' unless you are capable of great violence. If you are not capable of violence, you are not peaceful, you are harmless."
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


*"si vis pacem para bellum"*


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Peace is a very desirable outcome.
There are anyhow also other values to consider.
When values get in conflict, you choose.
And there will almost always be a cost in any choice about.
I remember something I heard once: Those who trade dignity for peace not only loose their dignity but most times than not neither get peace.

That said:
I don´t think that violence makes me more a man. 
But IMO justice should qualify peace and not the other way round and same for men and women.
And no, neither dignity nor peace are "inner" or not mainly. The ones that count are in our interactions.
And no, no one should go looking for a fight to prove something.
But no, no one shoud submit to the ones that wants us to give up with intimidation.
_*"All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"*_
And by doing nothing you become a full accomplice of evil and no amount of peace absolves you from that.

Also IMO and about some other posted reflections.

If you expect "authorities" of any kind to solve things, be sure they do it timely and not only to preserve peace but to put things in their propper places. If they can´t you are the one in charge.

If you expect that words will always solve everything you are living in a desirable world, not in the one where we live.
I always try to use civility, till some line is crossed.
Where each one draw that line deppends on own hierarchy of values, so for men as for women.

Of course we should consider risks.
But the ones mentioned in those posts are pragmatic and not necessarily ethical ones.

Finally even if first, if the lady at my side even rise an eyebrow if I do what that man did, I would fully recognice her right to do it.
And the words saying so would be the last ones she would hear from me.

Best wishes to ya´ all.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ElOtro said:


> *"si vis pacem para bellum"*


Hahaha Latin is awesome! 










Let them hate as long as they fear!


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Hahaha Latin is awesome!
> 
> View attachment 95566
> 
> ...


No.
That was not at all my viewpoint when posting.
Read it again, please.
I´m NOT rooting for violence as a good thing and neither as a frequent solution.
I´m NOT suggesting to make others fear.
I´m saying...
So if a man or a woman, do what is needed to be respected by everyone and not only by good people as you are.
Understanding as respect not merely minds but factual interactions.
Do it with words if possible.
Don´t make that one your limit if the agressor don´t.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ElOtro said:


> No.
> That was not at all my viewpoint when posting.
> Read it again, please.
> I´m NOT rooting for violence as a good thing and neither as a frequent solution.
> ...


Oh! Forgive me, I wasn't referencing your post.

Just read _si vis pacem, para bellum_ and wanted to share _oderint dum metuant_ as well tis all


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Oh! Forgive me, I wasn't referencing your post.
> 
> Just read _si vis pacem, para bellum_ and wanted to share _oderint dum metuant_ as well tis all


Accipiam


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diceplayer said:


> Yes, I heard the woman calling in and complaining about her husband. The female psychologist that the woman called told her that she should be proud of her husband for taking care of business.


Glad to hear the she set her straight.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> It amazes me that people seem to think that using violence makes a real man. There are far better more skilled ways of diffusing a potentially tricky situation.
> As has been said, people have died from one punch and the one who did the punching has ended up in jail for many years for man slaughter.


Violence should be a last resort, but sadly it is sometimes a necessary evil.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

The point of the post was not to start a debate on violence or whether or not to hand out in bars. The point was, why would a woman be upset with her man for standing up for her? Is it a feminist thing with her thinking that she doesn't need a man to take care of her? Or maybe it's a pacifist thing where you just take whatever is dished out to you and you do nothing about it. I see it as an example of society continuing to take away masculinity from men.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Diceplayer said:


> The point of the post was not to start a debate on violence or whether or not to hand out in bars. The point was, why would a woman be upset with her man for standing up for her? Is it a feminist thing with her thinking that she doesn't need a man to take care of her? Or maybe it's a pacifist thing where you just take whatever is dished out to you and you do nothing about it. I see it as an example of society continuing to take away masculinity from men.


It's not about any of those things. It's about risk assessment, and determining that route which provides the least risk to body and health. 

That man's wife was probably worried about all of the things that could go wrong and the subsequent long term consequences. Her husband could have 


Gotten seriously hurt requiring medical care and/or lifelong care (paralysis or head trauma to name a couple, not to mention the expense of treatment for even minor things like torn ligaments, broken bones, and herniated discs).
Hurt the drunkard resulting in a law suit ($$$ and headaches).
Ended up in jail which is a headache to deal with.
Ended up dead. 
She would be affected by the consequences of his actions without actually having a say in the choice to engage.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I used to get into scraps all the time....Road rage was a big thing back then...Someone get out of line on the road and it was game on...I once slammed a guys head into his own Porsche's fender so hard it left a huge cavernous dent....Ironically that guy was drunk as well...I surprisingly didn't get in too much trouble, but it was just luck...could have.

At that time, I considered myself a genuine tough guy...I even considered these incidents as a way to prove that I had the skills to take a guy down..Like practice, if you can believe it...Now, understand, I was never the type to initiate anything, but it didn't take much to get me to engage..

As time went on, became a father, had success in life, and realized that its not worth the hassle.. For one, I have too much to lose now, and worked too hard to get it...Sure, I do get pissed off and tempted, but now I tend to hold back instead....I even went to an NFL game with my daughter and the guy in front of me(again-drunk) was starting to really annoy me where I got very close...Thankfully, I thought of my daughter and she calmed me down...

Now, if someone knowingly hurt my child/ family, they are going to see the worst side of me imaginable....I hope that never happens, but there would be zero hesitation..And I won't be on the losing end..

But a drunken fool at some bar that probably doesn't even know what the hell he's doing or saying? I don't think I want to bludgeon that guy to death, just quickly and without much fanfare, get him the hell out of my space....I don't even think it would escalate further that a stern warning...I don't ever get challenged much.

Here is the thing a lot of people never consider...

OK...You deck someone and feel like the king of the Hill...Great...Now what? That guy more than likely won't forget about it....He may very well get even with you...It may not happen the next day, but there maybe a time 6 months later where you come out and find all your tires slashed....Or worse.....
'
I'm happy that those stupid days are behind me....I now just look to live my life in a peaceful and productive manner...Thankfully, I don't engage in any substances that impair that judgement, and would never frequent any place where there could be a problem.

There is no downside to letting sense take over...You "win" that way...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> I even went to an NFL game with my daughter…


Haha yeah. NFL games are notorious for fights however I was at a baseball game A’s Vs Seattle Mariners in the $7 seats and a guy in a Mariners jersey came tumbling down the staircase (thrown). Security just took him away (the stairs guy). That was before widespread cell phones and CCTV.

As for the wife in this case why she would object? Generally what Lila said. If you punch someone, knock them out, they hit head on the floor there is a non-zero chance they die. Even if it’s not criminal you can be taken to civil court by the family which will cause a lot of problems.

In this case though the assailant laid hands. When someone puts their hands on you then you’re at risk yourself for the above and you should take appropriate action to avoid it.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


I tried to explain this to a lady on an other thread. Men can tell when something bad is going to happen at the hands of another man. Women need to respect their husbands character enough to know in a situation like you described he made an in the moment decisions based on a well developed intuition for dangerous situations. 

That being said sometimes bad situations can be de-escalated, The reason why thats best if possible is the one punch knock out can lead to you being handcuffed in the back of a cruiser even though the guy deserved it. If you have ever knocked someone out cold and watched their head bounce off a concrete sidewalk with a hollow thud you know what I mean. Most pro fighters will avoid street fights because they know how fast that can go sideways.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Haha yeah. NFL games are notorious for fights however I was at a baseball game A’s Vs Seattle Mariners in the $7 seats and a guy in a Mariners jersey came tumbling down the staircase (thrown). Security just took him away (the stairs guy). That was before widespread cell phones and CCTV.
> 
> As for the wife in this case why she would object? Generally what Lila said. If you punch someone, knock them out, they hit head on the floor there is a non-zero chance they die. Even if it’s not criminal you can be taken to civil court by the family which will cause a lot of problems.
> 
> In this case though the assailant laid hands. When someone puts their hands on you then you’re at risk yourself for the above and you should take appropriate action to avoid it.


Ha ha the stuff you see in the cheap seats at baseball games is always wild. The outfield bleachers at Fenway can get crazy around the 7th.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Ha ha the stuff you see in the cheap seats at baseball games is always wild. The outfield bleachers at Fenway can get crazy around the 7th.


Oh for sure and it was around that time in the game. The funny thing is I heard yelling and some f bombs and next thing you know guy is tumbling down the stairs. Since he had the visitor jersey I immediately wrote him off.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

happyhusband0005 said:


> That being said sometimes bad situations can be de-escalated, The reason why thats best if possible is the one punch knock out can lead to you being handcuffed in the back of a cruiser even though the guy deserved it. If you have ever knocked someone out cold and watched their head bounce off a concrete sidewalk with a hollow thud you know what I mean. Most pro fighters will avoid street fights because they know how fast that can go sideways.


And the other thing is this....A real man knows when to get serious and when not to....Is it worth potentially killing some guy or giving someone a traumatic brain injury, because he was drunk and stupid? I mean, forget about the legal ramifications, that's bad enough, but that guy may have kids, a family, whatever...Maybe he had a bad night, etc...maybe he found out his wife was banging his best friend and went to the bar to drown his sorrows and got stupid...who knows? 

I've seen situations where no blows got thrown, but someone was able to completely embarrass and humiliate a guy to a point where the ego hit was more cutting than anything physical...

Believe me, I am a guy that takes no shyt from anyone, and honestly, if someone starts to get physical, get physical back, but I say understand the risk and circumstances before potentially putting someone to sleep permanently...and act on that accordingly...

At the end of the day, its amazing how little these things affect a persons life when they don't put themselves in situations where there is a likelihood to have people that had too much to drink and cant control themselves...


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


 I think you can stand up to somebody without laying hands. Today there are legal repercussions for everything.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I was in such a situation about 15 years ago. I was with my lady at a small bar minding our own business. I overheard these 2 guys in another booth talking loud with Australian accents.
I glanced over and saw they were 2 tall and lean dudes, and I smelled trouble. After a while, they came over to talk to us. At first the conversation started sort of friendly, and they went back to their booth. But then they came back, and the conversation turned weird and dark. They started talking to themselves in front of us and said "were talking her home with us!". I thought to myself "what kind of weird crap is this?" I told them "She's not going anywhere". Now, these two guys were pretty big and well built. I'm pretty darn sure they could have kicked my butt if they wanted to easily. I kind of expected them to invite me outside or even start something right there and then. They kept insisting that they were going to take her home. I just told them for the third (or fourth time, can't remember) "she's not going anywhere!". Finally, they went back to their booth again.
I kept thinking "what kind of sick, dark evil shet are these guys up to?"

Eventually, they got up and as they were leaving, they passed by our booth, one of the guys quickly grabbed my hand and kissed the back of my hand and then they went outside and left for good.
Now that kissing the back of my hand crap was not a love kiss. It was his way of disss'n me as I saw it, but whatever. I got out of there alive and took my lady home safe and sound.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

The way I see it is that it is the man's responsibility to love, serve, protect and care for his wife. There are way too many stories out there of spineless abdication of these responsibilities among men and way too many excuses for such abdication. 'People will think bad of me or somebody might get hurt or it's not politically correct' and so on and so on. Why? Because today's culture have turned a lot men into a bunch of spineless wimps and there will be a price to pay for it.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Diceplayer said:


> I just heard a story on the radio that bothers me. This woman calls in all pissed off at her husband. The story was that last weekend, she, her husband and some friends were in a bar listening to a band. A drunk was at the bar, leering at the women and making gestures toward their table. Eventually, the drunk approaches the table and this woman's husband stands up, and in her words, sticks his chest out. The drunk slaps him so the husband punches the drunk in the face and lays the drunk out with one punch. The wife is pissed because her husband stood up. She says that he should have deescalated the situation by staying seated. I'm thinking, WTF woman? Your man stands up for you and your friends and you're pissed? I'd be willing to bet that had her husband not stood up, the drunk would have taken it as permission to continue and would have escalated his rudeness. Would she had been okay with her husband putting his head down on the table and whining that there's nothing he can do? I'm of the opinion that if someone is a threat to you or someone else that you take care of it. Nobody ever taught me about de-escalation. I mean seriously, a man acts like a man should act and his wife punishes him? No wonder society is turning men into a bunch of simps. Am I wrong?


There are locations that I might check out with a (male) friend but I will take my wife to family-friendly locations to have a meal and/or for entertainment. I will not bring her to bars where drunkards are more likely to be found. Problem solved.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Diceplayer said:


> The way I see it is that it is the man's responsibility to love, serve, protect and care for his wife. There are way too many stories out there of spineless abdication of these responsibilities among men and way too many excuses for such abdication. 'People will think bad of me or somebody might get hurt or it's not politically correct' and so on and so on. Why? Because today's culture have turned a lot men into a bunch of spineless wimps and there will be a price to pay for it.


I agree with the responsibility part, and I believe all men should have the ability to prevail in such physical confrontations. But when you hear guys talking all tough about I would jump up and knock that guy out usually that tough guy has never been in a real fight and done real damage to another man. When you have the opportunity to rethink your actions while sitting cuffed in a squad car while EMTs attend to the other guy it becomes very clear. 

Joe Rogan had a good segment on this, and why it is very rare that professional fighters will get into a street fight. It's not like the movies.

I had to add also, many of the fights that happen as a result of a guy saying something to a guys wife, happen because the husbands ego and not a real immediate danger to his wife.


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