# Don't know what to do.



## JMS387 (Mar 31, 2014)

I am very confused, and in need of guidance, an opinion, help, or all of the above... Here is my story.
I have been married for 7 years (makes me think the 7 year itch). I am in my early 50's. My husband turned 50 this year, and is going through a "mid life" crisis. Last year he decided he needed to buy a motorcycle, which I although wasn't happy about, supported. I have known that something wasn't right, so many things actually. He hasn't touched me in 5 years. I may not be the most beautiful woman in the world, but I am by no means a dog. He says it's him. I snooped this morning at his emails while he was in the shower, and see an email to an 'old friend' of his. (I am not sure what their relationship has been before I came into the picture), saying he just wanted to drop a note, that he has been thinking about her, "at night too"... And this was very hurtful. He has also been email a woman he met through ebay, and even sent her a Valentine's day card (WHAT?). I know he has been talking to both through email, and I believe he has been seeing the "at night too" woman behind my back. He tells me he loves me, he tells me I am his world, but I am devastate. To make matters worse, I away on business this week, and will not see him face to face. I know better than to try an confront him on the phone, as he can go and delete the emails I read (to both of these women) before I get home. I am a very type A personality, but he knew this about me before we married, I am very successful in my job and do earn a lot more than he does, and while I don't think he stays with me because of money I am not sure if he is reaching out to show his 'manhood' or what. I just don't know what to do. This is a first marriage for both of us. This past summer when he was out on his bike, he came home drunk, with the police following him down our driveway. After we (I) settled that, he told me he had a couple drinks at a Harley dealership, with one of the sales women... Now I am thinking he is out on his motorcycle hooking up with women, no, I have no proof, just something in my gut (and my heart). I know I need to confront him, but I don't know what to say, or how to say this. It is killing me, and leaving me no energy to think of anything else. PLEASE, if you have any words of wisdom, I would appreciate it. I have never been in this position before, and don't know what to do...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts... You need to decide if you need more proof. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. He's likely not going to admit anything you don't already know (and have proof of). If/when you confront, he'll likely get much better at hiding things. So... Only confront him when you already know everything you need to know to make your decision. Does that make sense?

If you don't have enough info... You could use a PI, you could hide a Voice Activated Recorder (VAR), you could use a key logger to get access to his email. All options open to you. 

Sorry you're here. :-(

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

If you are not having sex, why are you married? Is he a good cook?

I've dated nice girls, pretty girls, gorgeous girls, and they all were attractive to me for some reason. If you are married to a person, they need to be attracted to you ALWAYS. 

One of the things I learned through my D is that I will always date the woman I am with until the day I die. I will pursue her and never let that stop. 

If he is not treating you with respect, he is not treating you as a wife should be treated. This is not a realtionship you want to be in. He is most likely cheating or trying to. If he isn't getting it from you, he's getting it from somewhere. 

I am sorry you are here but what do you want? He is probably doing things he should not be doing besides being a bad husband.


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## jnichk76 (Nov 4, 2013)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnichk76 (Nov 4, 2013)

How are you guys doing? Did you get to the bottom of what was going on?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

_If you are not having sex, why are you married? Is he a good cook?_

5yrs is a long time.

Unless he the world be 5 stars chef I still would've left him.


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