# Sex problems, wife does not care.



## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

My wife has never had an orgasm. I have been married to this woman for five years. She doesnt masturbate, never has. She refuses to touch her private parts during sex. However, during foreplay, she gets wet, her clitoris gets hard, she shows all the physical signs of being turned on. When she is really turned on, every time I touch her clit, I can feel the rest of her muscles down there twitching. She generally stops me at some point and wants to move on to sex. She is only interested in penetration, period. Last night after sex. I told her that I want her to communicate with me more to let me know "what does it for her" down there during foreplay. She said that nothing that I do down there "does it for her". She says that she does not feel anything. I said that I really wanted her to work on this. She said "its not that easy" and "I have been like this my entire life. You knew that when we first started dating." So my question is, what else can I do? She is obviously fine with not having an orgasm and has no interest in making it better even though she knows that it is important to me. Do I just give up and accept my sex life for what it is? A relationship of no foreplay and just straight sex? Thats what she wants. Anybody that could give me advice would be much appreciated.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Maybe she is not comfortable with her body? Let her know that to you she is the most beautiful woman on earth. If u don't think that way then u shouldn't be married to her.


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## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

I will also add that I have bought books that she refuses to read and toys that she refuses to use. I have never had a problem getting a woman off until her.


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## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

My wife is very comfortable, she really is smoking "model" hot. She does have a problem masturbating though. Especially with her hands.


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## The_Good_Wife (Jan 13, 2012)

Smoking hot models can be pretty hairy down there, too. 

I don't know what to tell you. Hopefully somebody with experience on this can help.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

I'm curious that she lets you touch her genitals and warm her up before intercourse, rather that forbid you touching her in that manner altogether.

So, I'd like to ask what her religious background is. For instance, if she's Catholic you need to know that they consider sexual acts not open to life to be wrong.

Also, how did her parents act around each other and her? Are they cold and unaffectionate? Is their any chance they told her that sex is wrong, good girls don't like sex, or that sex is something the girl does for the guy?


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## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

She is very submissive. Neither one of us are really religious. As far as her family goes, I really don't know. She is very loving and other than this issue we literally have no problems.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jofjimmy (Jan 19, 2012)

Its just weird that she has no interest in foreplay at all. She has told me many times that penetration is the only thing that turns her on. She was what you might consider promiscuous before she met me. She lived in Vegas and had her share of one night stands.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## starburst (Jan 19, 2012)

Check my first post "wife and her toy". Exact opposite issues. My best guess, women are hard to figure out, we need all the help we can get. So women, chime in please. Sounds to me that you are all she needs, so smile, and accept it.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

sex without foreplay is boring...I'm living that life except it only happens once every few months.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well, I can't help you as I cannot relate to your wife's outlook on sex.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

i guess the first question would be how much attention does she give you in bed?, actual sex is the point at which true togetherness happens, the other things are love acts, which is one serving the other at a time, from what you describe i think she has a mental block when it comes to you wanting to give your all to serve her, maybe dont even try to give her an orgasm, i think she knows what you are trying to do, she needs to be as relaxed and free minded as possible to really let her inner woman out, an orgasm will happen in its time, sex is a beautiful thing and love acts are truly special, dont worry about that she does not want to touch herself, she only wants you to i think.


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

Sorry to tell you it doesn't get much better or much easier. Been dealing with that for 15 years. Great woman, love her to the end of the Earth but she is a dead fish most of the time. I do all the work, she gets all the attention and most of the time with all day hints, flirting and what not. I still get nothing most times.

She will not open up about it. I have asked repeatedly over the years what she wants me to do and I get no answer. Only thing with mine is she loves foreplay to orgasm but denies she has one. Its almost like she is embarrassed she had one.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

It seems that you have stated a number of problems. The first is her lack of orgasm, the second is a lack of foreplay and her wanting only intercourse, and you mention that she is very submissive. Hmmm....

You can take control of the loveplay and be more assertive - perhaps she needs that if she is submissive.

For instance, there are a number of positions that help a woman to orgasm more easily than others. Her on top in a grinding motion, the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique - google it) is a missionary position where the man 'grinds' on the woman stimulating her clitoris rather than using an up and down motion. There is man behind - either laying on sides 'spooning' or in doggy position. That one will allow you to have hands free and you can stimulate her while you are having intercourse.

I guess all in all, I am suggesting that you take the lead here. If she wants only intercourse, then move her in to the positions that make it more stimulating for her and have intercourse. Watch her reactions and her body closely. They will likely tell you more than any words will. 

As well, think about the prelude to all of the action in the bedroom. How is it that you end up there? Could there be different things you try outside the bedroom that may start her engine going before you even end up in bed?

Best wishes.


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## mdill (Jan 18, 2012)

I'm faced with exactly the same problem. 

We have been married 14 years and are in our 50's. We have sex 5-6 times a week. It is so important to her that we make mini-dates every afternoon. It is very important to her that I have an orgasm, but she doesn't want one. 

She turns head everywhere go and guys flirt with her and occasionally even try to hit on her. 

So she should not have any body perception problems. She was raised catholic and her mom is real old fashion.

Our foreplay consists of spooning and she only wants sex in missionary position. She is not interested in kissing, oral (on her), or any other positions. I love her to death and have no problems getting off myself. But I feel she should get more out of our mini-dates. 

She is the first woman in my life who really wasn't interested in an orgasm. We have talked about all this on an off over the years, but I have never pressed as I don't want to pressure her. She has never masterbated and has not interest in it. I have bought her a vibrator and stimulated books (she like to read), but she has never used either of them.

To me, it seem she really likes to "be in control" and having an orgasm requires a willingness to give up control, if even for a moment. Perhaps she would rather maintain control that enjoy the pleasures of an orgasm. 

I'm really interested in a woman's perspective. I love her so much, that I feel that I'm not giving her all she deserves. Is there anything I should try that I haven't or should I just give up on this and continue to enjoy our active sex life the way it is?

Ladies, what do you think?


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## maddisweet (Feb 3, 2020)

Did you try toys? Does she feel something with vibrator?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

maddisweet said:


> Did you try toys? Does she feel something with vibrator?


I think by now he’s probably given up. Seeing as his last post was over eight years ago.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Thread closed. OP has not posted in over 5 years.


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