# Infidelity?



## Rwgarrett816 (Jun 14, 2015)

My wife told me she wants a divorce, she had lame reasons, she worked during the day I worked at night, that is a problem but not worth divorce. I found out 2 days before she announced this she began talking to her ex boyfriend who also was getting a divorce but claimed it was just to have a friend who was going through the same thing. Well 4 months passed with us trying to work things but I couldn't commit until she got rid of him. She lied a few times and I would find out, but a month ago she finally told him they couldn't be friends she was very upset about having to do this to the point of being angry at me and telling him " the king says it must be done". I asked her if they had been intimate and she swore they weren't because I really wouldn't want to be with her if they had. 2 weeks ago I looked at her instant messages from the first week she started talking to him and he was sending her porn clips and she said " I could give you or*l" she claims not to remember the conversation and says nothing came of it although they spent 4 months hanging out with each other. Should I believe that nothing happened? I'm really at a loss for what to do


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She's a lying sack of sh!t and you are letting her disrespect you. Start showing some real strength, like seeing a lawyer for one. She has checked out friend. Start reading up on the 180, separate your finances, and start emotionally detaching. If she's set on leaving there is nothing you can do other than fight like hell to,protect yourself.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Rwgarrett816 said:


> I asked her if they had been intimate and she swore they weren't because I really wouldn't want to be with her if they had...they spent 4 months hanging out with each other.


Do you really want a piano to fall on top of your head as a sign that she has already been intimate with her ex-bf?

Just file for divorce and if she gets scared that you are actually going to leave her, you may be able to pry a confession out of her.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

By ex, I'm assuming that he was someone who has already slept with her (in the past)?


Rwgarrett816 said:


> ...she claims not to remember the conversation and says nothing came of it although *they spent 4 months hanging out with each other.*


WHat did they do in that time? Just talk? Hold hands? Just "kiss"?


> Should I believe that nothing happened?


You should believe that they slept together, unless she can prove that they did not. It's highly unlikely "nothing happened" as they've been down this road before together. 

One of the things cheaters rely on is that their betrayed spouses really, really want to believe nothing happened. So, you need the wake up to your new reality.

Sorry you're here, man.


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

Sorry she hung the horns on you.

Her nasty d*ck breath and the king comment earns the entitled princess a royal flush, stay strong my friend tuff times a coming.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She is disrespecting you if she had sex or not.

Also just because she isn't having sex with him doesn't mean she isn't having sex with someone else.

Maybe you need to give her the divorce she craves? But on your terms?


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

The same old pattern of behavior - deny, minimise....Don't fall for your own la la land 
blinkered view. Take 'em off now!


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

What a mess we have here for starters yes she is cheating on you and she might have been doing so for quite some time the only reason why she's calling for divorces is because other man is attempting to get a divorce as well or at least that's what he's telling her.. In cases like these usually what happens is the wayward wife is told by other man how he's getting a divorce and how they'll be together the reality is that he will more than likely never divorce his wife and we'll throw your wayward wife under the bus and subsequently she will begin to crawl back to you crying how it was a all mistake lol you have to understand that most cheating men do so to stay in their marriage paradoxically cheating wives on the other hand usually do so with the attendant to opt out of marriage and your wife may be serious but other man on the other how well???????




Based on your situation I believe the best advice for you is that you need to start putting your alpha male pants on. Your wife is taking shots at you because she feels you would do nothing about it you need to prove her otherwise if you're hesitant to divorce than my vice go to a lawyer and make it clear you have gone to a lawyer also begin pulling a 180 and distance yourself from her make her see you can survive and thrive on your own without her trust me she will notice this.




Op make sure you are prepared for when this whole affair goes south when other man decides he doesn't want to lose his marriage/financial security she'll be left on the curve by herself and will begin the process of groveling you need to prepare yourself for this and have a plan..


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Op, either way your wife is lying. Either to him saying she could or to you saying she has not. Which lie do you believe?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

She's lying.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

What does your gut tell you? How has your sex life been during the past few years? How was it during the time you know they were "hanging out?"

How is it now?

What else did you find on her texts/emails?

Sounds like her ex didn't work out again and she's trying to lie herself back into her home?


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

As others have said she is cheating and it would be enough for me to divorce her with what you already know. However there are still valid reasons to get proof. It would be for friends and family to prove you’re not the bad guy and for your own piece of mind that you did the right thing. Remember that even if your wife wants to dump you and spend the rest of her life with the other man she is still very motivated not to come clean. She doesn’t want to be the bad girl to friends and family. 

Look here : http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

Cheaters describe their affair as an addiction and they are correct. In a MRI it lights up the same part of the brain as cocaine. That’s why she can’t give him up.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

When a woman tells you she wants a divorce (other than maybe the heat of an argument) it means she's lost romantic interest in you. When she's telling another man she wants to give him a BJ, it confirms it. Stick a fork in it Dawg.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Come on, 4 months and no sex, when they were discussing sex acts in their first week of texting? Besides, with an old boy friend, things would ramp up very quickly because they just pick up where they left off. 

I would bet not only was there sex but it must have been freaky. Allowing POS access to what you were denied or dolloped with on anniversary night. 


It's 180 time. File for divorce, you can stop it later but she has to see consequences from a strong resolute man. Work on yourself. Hit gym hard, wardrobe, hair, the works. Also start some hobbies that can keep you occupied and interacting with others.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Woman here. She tells you that she wants a divorce. She was hooking up with an ex-boyfriend who she was seeing for four months. He is going through a divorce. They were having sex for those four months. Wake up. Your wife is a Ho. Give her the divorce she wants. See a psychologist to set your mind straight. You deserve a better life and a better wife.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Rwgarrett816 said:


> she claims not to remember the conversation


"I forget" means "I'm guilty". Kind of like "We just kissed once" means "I blew him regularly".


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

xakulax said:


> what a mess we have here for starters yes she is cheating on you and she might have been doing so for quite some time the only reason why she's calling for divorces is because other man is attempting to get a divorce as well or at least that's what he's telling her.. In cases like these usually what happens is the wayward wife is told by other man how he's getting a divorce and how they'll be together the reality is that he will more than likely never divorce his wife and we'll throw your wayward wife under the bus and subsequently she will begin to crawl back to you crying how it was a all mistake lol you have to understand that most cheating men do so to stay in their marriage paradoxically cheating wives on the other hand usually do so with the attendant to opt out of marriage and your wife may be serious but other man on the other how well???????
> 
> 
> 
> ...




^^^this, exactly^^^


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Rwgarrett816 said:


> Should I believe that nothing happened? I'm really at a loss for what to do


You're going to be angry and embarrassed at yourself soon. You already know what she's doing but you don't want to face it.

Option #1: stay with her knowing that she's putting out for other guys. Assume that people around you including family and friends knows what she's doing. Some of them think you know and some think you're not very bright and all of them are losing respect for you. When she'll eventually finds an affair partner dumb enough to take her off of your hands and then she'll divorce you and she'll tell everyone what a mean and controlling person you are and if you have kids with her by this time then you'll get to see them have her as a mom. So you'll be single anyway and will have little self respect or respect from those around you.

Option #2: split up and find someone who doesn't do this stuff to you. Someone to doesn't play you for a fool in front of everyone. 

So those are your viable options. I lean toward option #2.


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## May1968 (Dec 16, 2014)

Her wanting a divorce happened at the same time she hanging with him? Of course the two events were related. No way they hung around all that time without something happening. Can't believe a married woman would stop at holding hands and then just kissing. There was sex because no other type of relationship would make any sense.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Sorry for the spot you are.

Your wife is lying. No way she doesn't remember that discussion.

She wanted the divorce and why you weren't getting any action... Sounds like she was banging him to me.

I know it is hard to see that when it involves your wife and not some other guy's wife. Imagine if a friend told you this story. What you think?

Cheaters are liars, most are very skilled liars.

Install a keylogger on her PC if you can and or try a VAR.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Rw, she jumped the gun after banging him, and asked for the D.
Now she see he may be lying, so that's why she is trying to hang on to you.
the thing is, you wouldn't commit until she went NC with him.

Jumping the gun scared her, now she can't see any other way except to lie about the sex, without him committing.
Now ask yourself, " do you REALLY think a grown as woman is not going to bang a KNOWN ex before asking for D??"

You want a confession ?? Tell her you want the whole truth and is giving her 1 get out of jail card, or you are setting up a poly before you will stay with her.

Rw the sex was good enough for her to jump the gun, without telling him she was going ask for a D, but now that she has, and he is still not committing, she is doing the monkey and branch trick. Not letting go of one without holding on to another.

Deep down you already know she did it. I mean, the first week she is promising bj's, but never delivered in four months but told you she wanted a D ???


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Lets see. She starts talking to her ex, in the first week he is sending her porn and she says she can perform the acts on him, she asks for a divorce and hangs out with him for 4 months.

Start breathing helium so her fairy tale makes sense or get both of you tested for STDs and divorce her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Rwgarrett816 said:


> My wife told me she wants a divorce, she had lame reasons, she worked during the day I worked at night, that is a problem but not worth divorce. I found out 2 days before she announced this she began talking to her ex boyfriend who also was getting a divorce but claimed it was just to have a friend who was going through the same thing. Well 4 months passed with us trying to work things but I couldn't commit until she got rid of him. She lied a few times and I would find out, but a month ago she finally told him they couldn't be friends she was very upset about having to do this to the point of being angry at me and telling him " the king says it must be done". I asked her if they had been intimate and she swore they weren't because I really wouldn't want to be with her if they had. 2 weeks ago I looked at her instant messages from the first week she started talking to him and he was sending her porn clips and she said " I could give you or*l" she claims not to remember the conversation and says nothing came of it although they spent 4 months hanging out with each other. Should I believe that nothing happened? I'm really at a loss for what to do


She is about to go underground with the affair....


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

rwgarrett

How old are you? Your wife?

And how long you were you two together/married?

HM


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It's good to be the king...now has she gotten a good hard spanking?

My point is bad behavior has consequences and is your old lady committed enough to except these consequences or is she just blowing smoke uo your @ss only to wait for shyt to calm down and start up again with the same POS or find some new phuck stick to use her?

Watch enough "game of thrones" and you might find your queen may still be on the hunt for a new king.

Whats your old lady going to do in the future to affair proof this marriage?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Speaking of consequences....what ever was on that porn clip your old lady responded to.....the king would be getting some of that!

Seriously you and your old lady need to sit down and talk about affair proofing this marriage and if it takes acting like porn stars...well then!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Let's see! Jumping his bones for the very first time takes only about ten minutes max while the ongoing deceit will, with rare exception, last damn near forever!

This woman most assuredly is lying out of both sides of her mouth and has summarily checked out of your relationship. Time to do "the 180," get to your lawyers office to explore your options ~ only after being checked out by your MD for the presence of STD's.

Get away from this woman ASAP ~ she is nothing but evil! Life was never meant to be lived this way!*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

He's gone. You all scared another one off...buncha dissillusioned bastards.....


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Yep, another looking for ways to nice her back. A perfect one for MB.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> He's gone. You all scared another one off...buncha dissillusioned bastards.....


Just sent him a PM.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Got a reply.

All I can say is: Hang on in there, RW! We are here for you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Hope he comes back. Q


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Did you hire a PI to follow her?


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