# Should I?



## rebecca1 (Nov 6, 2010)

So here it goes. My husband and I have been together for around 7 yrs total now, married for 2. The only positive thing I am able to say at this point is that we have a comfortable life and he is a good father to our little girl.

While I have no doubt that I love him and he loves me, it just seems like it is more of a friendship than the fact that we are in love. If I come home and try to tell him something about my day he could care less. It is as though what happens to me is not important enough for him to waste his time listening too.

Then this is what has really pushed me to consider leaving him. He told me I was worthless and I did not contribute to this household (I am currently back in school for nursing since my business degree doesn't do much now).. Then he went on to say that I should be thankful to him, because if it wasn't for him me and my daughter would be living in poverty if I was even capable of putting a roof over her head at all.

As I am sure you can imagine, this was quite hurtful. He did sorta apologize by saying (after I began packing myself and our daughter a bag to leave that night) that he was just frustrated with work and did not mean it. Work frustrations is one thing, but that in my opinion is not work frustrations.

I just do not know what to do at this point. Since then everything about him has disgusted me. I saw in him the same abusive personality that my Dad started with with my mom.

Do I attempt to work on our marriage or do I just get out now?


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## akcroy (Dec 23, 2010)

If this is his "first strike" you should move on. However, make it very clear that you won't take that financially-dependent-on-him crap. Tell him that it's not endearing him to you.


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## rebecca1 (Nov 6, 2010)

This wasn't the first strike really, it was just the worst one. He has told me many times that I do not contribute even though it was our decision for me to go back to school and take care of our daughter. He tells me all the time that I do not do **** around here, I guess taking care of our child, the house, all the cooking and cleaning and even the yard work doesn't count. I never really saw him as being the guy who was going to be like this.


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## akcroy (Dec 23, 2010)

I'm really sorry to hear that. Maybe your husband is really stressed out, due to work, or perhaps even just because of the sheer awareness that his family's bread and butter depends on his shoulders? Not everybody can cope with that. 

In any case he shouldn't be mentally abusing you like that. You have to make a firm stand. If he opens up to you about his stress factors, help him. Suggest a shrink perhaps? Or even try getting into counselling together. 

I hate to point this out, but everybody posting on this forum is just one side of the coin of their respective problems - are you sure you're not doing anything at all that might be stressing out your husband?


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## HM3 (Aug 18, 2010)

Your husband is wrong, you do contribute a great deal to the household - you look after the house and your children. Does he help with anything around the house at all? I'm guessing probably not, so he has no reason to say those things. You are also going to school as well as doing all the above, and that is fantastic. I'm assuming the qualifications will help you get a decent job when the kids can look after themselves or it can help pay for childcare.

My advice would be to go see a counsellor together. If this has started happening recently, it might be worth talking to your husband first - there might be financial problems lurking that you are unaware of, or some other reason.


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