# why does he cheat?



## awesomecows (Feb 21, 2012)

My husband has had three affairs in our marriage and he doesn't seem the least bit sorry for it. The affairs are with women that are far less attractive. He begged me constantly to have sex with my 'so-called' best friend. I kept telling him no, but he continued asking. Finally I told him that hes going to do what he wanted anyway. Then he ends up sleeping with her, in our bed..... I came home from work and saw them together, I was crushed. Also, my husband quit showering and wears dirty clothes all the time, because he refuses to let me do his laundry. (He never washes clothes) I cannot see how hes having one-night stand affairs when he smells that awful. Im in a depression because of this and its caused me to become anorexic. I only weighed 145 when he started cheating.. and hes been sleeping with women well over 300 lbs. Is there something im missing? Also, he makes sexual comments at my gay male friends and tries to sleep with them. I cannot trust him anymore at all. He lies about everything, even paying the bills. I just some kind of advice here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

he's a creep.

Run.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Um, leave him? Why exactly are you putting up with this?

C


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DanF said:


> he's a creep.
> 
> Run.


exactly.

why would you stay in that mess...
and leave out the 'but i love him'.


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## awesomecows (Feb 21, 2012)

I am trying to make it work with him, I honestly am. I just cannot get him to want to care about himself enough to want to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

awesomecows said:


> I am trying to make it work with him, I honestly am. I just cannot get him to want to care about himself enough to want to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Care about himself?!

Why? 
He doesn't care a thing about his wife...


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

awesomecows said:


> I am trying to make it work with him, I honestly am. I just cannot get him to want to care about himself enough to want to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He cares fine about himself - getting whatever he wants.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## awesomecows (Feb 21, 2012)

Im just afraid of being a failure. This is my first marriage. But after dealing with this crap for so long, I have gotta file for divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

awesomecows said:


> Im just afraid of being a failure. This is my first marriage. But after dealing with this crap for so long, I have gotta file for divorce.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


youre not the failure, he is.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

awesomecows said:


> Im just afraid of being a failure. This is my first marriage. But after dealing with this crap for so long, I have gotta file for divorce.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No one in their right mind will blame you.

Get out and work on yourself. You're not a failure just because you fell in love with an *******.
You're only a failure if you do nothing for yourself and remain unhappy.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

awesomecows said:


> I am trying to make it work with him, I honestly am. *I just cannot get him to want to care about himself enough to want to.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think you have it backwards. You can't get *him* to care enough about *you* to make it work.

No relationship will ever work with only one person trying. It's like a boat with only one person rowing. All you do is go around in the same circle.

He's unashamedly cheating on you. In your own bed. Clearly only for the sake of cheating. He's trying to get you into threesomes with your friend against your inclinations. And now he's trying to hook up with other men. And he's lying about money as well--probably because he's paying for sex somewhere.

You aren't ever going to "make this work". You can only either decide that what you have, right now, at this moment, is good enough for the rest of your life or else you decide you deserve better than this.

Which you do. 

Whatever you decide, I'd just make DARN SKIPPY SURE that any sex was completely, utterly safe. Like 2 or 3 condoms. If he's switch hitting, that makes the chances of an STD even higher than they already seem to be.


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## awesomecows (Feb 21, 2012)

I stopped having sex with him after I discovered his first affair. It was a few days after. The girl comes by our house unexpectedly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

Someone else said it but it requires repeating...

RUN!


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## awesomecows (Feb 21, 2012)

I just dont understand if im not attractive or what? I dont see why he cheats, and gets extremely ugly women...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

awesomecows said:


> I just dont understand if im not attractive or what? I dont see why he cheats, and gets extremely ugly women...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's the hunt, the challenge, and the conquest.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

DanF said:


> It's the hunt, the challenge, and the conquest.


this.

i really doubt what he is doing has anything to do with you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

awesomecows said:


> my husband has had three affairs in our marriage and he doesn't seem the least bit sorry for it.
> 
> Then he ends up sleeping with her, in our bed..... I came home from work and saw them together, i was crushed. Also, my husband quit showering and wears dirty clothes all the time, because he refuses to let me do his laundry.
> 
> *is there something im missing?* also, he makes sexual comments at my gay male friends and tries to sleep with them. He lies about everything, even paying the bills. I just some kind of advice here.


*is there something i'm missing?*

Reality.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

He cheats because you let him, NO CONSEQUENCES for his actions...throw him and his stinky ass clothes out!!!! find someone that will treat you with respect, you deserve better.


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## AE86freak (Feb 24, 2012)

When a warrior makes a his first kill on a 2ton water buffalo, He feels like he can concor the world! That's probably why he's chubby chasin'. Either that or he has serious mental issues.


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