# Relationship has left me empty



## lovedylan (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi all, this is my first time posting. 2 summers ago I met my husband who I've now been married to for 6 months and we have a 7 month old son. During our relationship I have dealt with him looking up hookers on craigslist and calling them. I know he hasn't actually gone to one since we have had heart to heart conversations and I do know when he is being honest and he has told me he was just curious and being stupid. I know guys have stupid fantasies but this has happened so many times I can't even count the latest event only 2 weeks ago. Also one year ago I caught him talking to his ex gf. It was only platonic but he hid it from me! He hasn't talked to her since but I just don't understand. My husband and I have been inseperable since the day we met and have always been very vocal about the way we feel about eachother. After all these incidents it has left me feeling empty and like my life is going nowhere. I don't want to leave this relationship but I don't want to feel depressed all the time. We love eachother but I don't know where to start and to get my passion for him and my own life back.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Since you have stated you do not want to leave the relationship, then unfortunately, I think its possible there is more of this behavior from him to come. I hope not and I do hope he changes his ways, BUT not sure that is going to happen. Not without some serious marriage counseling. I have a feeling too, if he doesn't stop, your depression will no longer be about what he is doing, as it will be about your choice to stay.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Did he do this kind of thing before you all were married? Did you go into the marriage knowing this and hoped he would change? 

I do think its possible that one reason he continues with this behavior is because you are allowing it. Not saying you are the cause of it, because you're not, just saying you have/are putting up with it and he continues because you have no boundaries and consequences in the relationship for his actions.


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## starcat81 (Jul 6, 2011)

I feel the same way in mine. My bf has cyber-cheated on me a few times in our 4 years together. This last time, I found out he had phone sex with one of the girls. I told him it was over but he said he wanted to try to go to therapy because he didn't know why he was doing it. *shrug* I love him and don't want to leave either, but it's still at the back of my mind, you know?

I wish I had some advice to give you but I don't even know what to tell myself.


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

All of these are examples of emotional affairs. Whenever one feels he must hide things from the other, trust is gone. Go to the coping with infidelity threads and read what us marrieds and formerly marrieds are going through, and then get into counseling to find out why you are willing to put up with this crap. 20 years of my life down the tube.. don't let it happen to you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If you stay with him, you can expect more of the same.


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