# SO glad I got a vasectomy



## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

Let's just say life is much easier now. If you're wondering if you should... go for it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

LongParFour said:


> Let's just say life is much easier now. If you're wondering if you should... go for it.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*In absolute total agreement!*


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Same as getting your tubes tied..... just do it! 

Sooooooooooooo liberating!


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

Me too. It should be much easier to move on and I will never do my two mistakes again.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.

Same with tube tying, and all of the "one and done" birth control methods. It seems that something about them that science doesn't understand yet, sometimes just totally screws with the bodies sexual function and drive.

Makes me very, very wary.


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

BioFury said:


> It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




That's understandable. All I can say is that I did 25% more than my doctor told me as the minimum to do to recover. I had no swelling, minor discomfort within the time that was described, and was back at it in no time. In fact, ejaculation is better now than it was before.


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

While every medical procedure has risks to it, I would say vasectomy is a very safe procedure in general. I had the "new" type with the no-scalpel method and was back in business a week after. 

Nerve injuries are almost unheard of with this method and even the traditional one is very safe. 

This compared to a tubal ligation, which requires the woman to be under full anesthesia and unless it is post-part I'm, is actually much trickier, but still very safe.
I attended many TL surgeries in OB rotation in medical school and now do the no-scalpel vasectomy myself. 

The worst issue is pain afterwards as there will be some swelling, but icing it for 3-5 days should be good. Then you just have to give two spent samples that are free of sperm and you are good to go. 

Finally, it is amazing how much it changes your perceptiib of sex. It really is. The women obviously love it too as they don't have to be on pill, IUD or such, which often affects hormonal state of body.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

My closest, longest friend got a vasectomy 20 years ago. He did it when stationed overseas for a year without telling his ex-wife. They had two kids already and that was all he wanted. She agreed to only two kids but he was afraid she'd stop taking her BC to have another. Yes, that was a dirt-bag move on his part but here's the kicker. She got pregnant a year later and the sh!t hit the fan. She had no idea that he had been cut and when she happily gave him the news about being pregnant he was shocked and when he told her about the cut she freaked. He eventually kicked her to the curb. It's a long, complicated story but OM dumped her too and she lost everything.

To this day my friend hurts over all of this and had problems moving on for several years after this happened. His ex was relentless in trying to get him back. He finally found a good woman and remains happily married to this day with his "second family who should have been his first," as he puts it. His kids are grown and know the whole story but still love both their parents.

So, yes. Having a vasectomy it is freeing, but in ways some men might not expect.


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

First of all, the vasectomy was 20 years ago in another country. Or was it maybe done at base by a military doc? Do you know how this would have been done in most countries at that time?

Secondly, this is anecdotal data, but overall numbers are solid in favor of vasectomy vs even the pill, so what you describe could happen with anything. 

Thirdly, did he ever turn in sperm samples? Maybe it wasn't fully closed. Go to India and see a country doc do vasectomy on 30 people before lunch and then compare it to here with no scalpel. 

And fourth, could she have cheated on him? Because IF she was still taking birth control pills the odds of conception by raw data would be something like 0.3 X 0.15= 0.045% in a year, or 0.15% if she had stopped taking the pills, which STILL is extremely low chance, making one suspect that is what happened. 20 years ago, the paternity technology was very poor.

Of course your scenario was a tragic one, but blaming the vasectomy sounds off.habibg said that, without Sperm samples, who knows if it actually was done good enough?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My wife worked with a lady whose husband had one done. After awhile she got pregnant. Her husband was ready to divorce her, but he went to a doctor and foundt out that tubes had grown back together. As far as I know they are still together. my doctor took out big sections and cartirized both ends. 27 years and counting without any issues. To me the worst part was the hair growing back, and the stitches drying out.


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

Did he ever do a sperm count check afterwards? With good technique this is almost unheard of nowadays (0.15% failure a year), but still happens.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

WoundedTiger said:


> Me too. It should be much easier to move on and *I will never do my two mistakes again.*


Congratulations. 

However, I'm not sure I understand the bolded. Can you elaborate?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

The husband of a former friend of my sisters had one, and for three years all was well. 

Then she got pregnant and he immediately walked out. She endured the whole pregnancy alone.....after the birth tests revealed the baby was in fact his.

He tried to come back to the family but a lot of damage had been done by then. I don't know if they stayed together. 

Vasectomies can fail, even years later.

My ex got one and it was nothing. He had a little pain for a couple of days and that was it.

I had my tubes done and that was quite painful, but I'm glad I did it.


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

Satya said:


> WoundedTiger said:
> 
> 
> > Me too. It should be much easier to move on and *I will never do my two mistakes again.*
> ...


 got two kids, heading for divorce


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## WoundedTiger (Dec 26, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> The husband of a former friend of my sisters had one, and for three years all was well.
> 
> Then she got pregnant and he immediately walked out. She endured the whole pregnancy alone.....after the birth tests revealed the baby was in fact his.
> 
> ...


 So they did not do paternity test before she delivered then??

Think about it this way. The cumulative failure rate of a vasectomy over three years is about 0.45%, or < 1 in 200. So it is 99.55% likely she cheated on him based on that statistic. 

Finally, statistics do NOT take into accord EA's and more men have been wrongfully accused than those who are guilty fathers. I think his reaction was totally natural here. 99.45% is a high number. She should have looked into this. I think the burden of proof is (maybe unfairly) entirely upon her with such numbers.


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## prunus (Oct 29, 2016)

BioFury said:


> It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.
> 
> Same with tube tying, and all of the "one and done" birth control methods. It seems that something about them that science doesn't understand yet, sometimes just totally screws with the bodies sexual function and drive.
> 
> Makes me very, very wary.


Just my experience. I had a complete hysterectomy. ALL of the "plumbing" was removed including the cervix. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, aside from hiring an attorney. My sex drive actually increased. In a way, that part was worse for me because I was in a sexless marriage and STBXH couldn't have cared less. All functionality is still there, just better. 

STBXH had a vasectomy and had zero issues with it. I'm glad he did it because I was genuinely afraid he'd cheat again and bring another child into the world.

Both good experiences. Everyone is different, though.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

A few months before I started dating my wife she had a hysterectomy; leaving her ovaries. No prago for her. We are both fine with it although a hummer week would have been nice.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

WoundedTiger said:


> So they did not do paternity test before she delivered then??
> 
> Think about it this way. The cumulative failure rate of a vasectomy over three years is about 0.45%, or < 1 in 200. So it is 99.55% likely she cheated on him based on that statistic.
> 
> Finally, statistics do NOT take into accord EA's and more men have been wrongfully accused than those who are guilty fathers. I think his reaction was totally natural here. 99.45% is a high number. She should have looked into this. I think the burden of proof is (maybe unfairly) entirely upon her with such numbers.


Don't think so, it would've been 20 years or so ago. 

I don't know all of the details, I got it second hand from my sister.

I get that his reaction was natural, you just have to understand what you're risking.

Birth control is pretty good but it fails.....vasectomies are pretty good but not only do they not always work.....things regenerate.

I'm of the opinion that one should know for sure before they blow up their family, especially if they have no other reason to think cheating is involved. I don't know their history in that respect.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I am happy I had mine. That was 12 years ago. No side effects and sex is so much better not having to worry about her getting pregnant. I was sore for a few days, but nothing major. The actually procedure hurt quite a lot, but recovery was fine.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

BioFury said:


> It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.


Most of those stories are a story they heard from a friend who had a friend's cousin/uncle who had that problem.

There is no loss of sex drive due to the surgery, only due to starting to getting old and dropping T levels. Unless you went to one of those clinics in a storage unit then you might have a problem.

There is some discomfort from time to time, I get it 3 or 4 times a year. It's not a pain that will drop you to your knees and make you roll around like you were being shocked by a dark lord of the sith.

I've had mine for a couple years now, no loss of sex drive at all and no problems with erections either.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

CH said:


> like you were being shocked by a dark lord of the sith.


It kinda is... Only with Vader laughing hysterically.

"Father! Please!"


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Well, Mrs. Conan couldn't have kids after our second son was born so no worries here.

I know this was an out of context and totally bvllshlt post.😉😁


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

BioFury said:


> It's tempting, but I hear horror stories. Pain that won't go away, not able to get hard several years after the surgery, loss of sex drive, etc.


I am skeptical of claims that vasectomy causes ED and sex drive decrease. Considering the age at which most guys have it, sounds like just a part of getting older.

The pain is different, however, and has a well-understood mechanism. The testes continue to generate sperm and fluids. If the body does not adjust quickly enough (by breaking down and disposing of these substances) the epididymis can swell and even rupture.

Mine luckily cleared up within 8 months or so. My urologist says it usually goes away on its own but can take up to two years.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

I had it done...twice. It was absolutely painless for me.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have another view of this.. I would *never* want my husband to get one.. I opted for the hormonaly free copper IUD.. the idea a small statistical # of men live with pain after one of these - was not acceptable to me, as the wife.. If that happened it would have destroyed our sex life.. 

I don't know.. I was used to things being cut, stuck up me.. no big deal after a bunch of kids.. so that's what I wanted.. been happy with this choice for us.. Some of it may have to do with NOT making anything permanent either.. since I had fertility issues in the past... 

Have known of a failure pregnant after a vasectomy.. also after the copper IUD.. it can happen with anything.. 

Always a good story when the outcome is a good one & the couple is happy with their choices though!


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## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

Best thing I ever did. Pain wasn't bad and telling little Hitler that I got my boys cut, no more "surprise the BC failed" pregnancies, the response was priceless.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

Diesel_Bomber said:


> Best thing I ever did.


The first time, when the doctor was about to inject an anesthetic he said, "here comes a little prick." A nurse snickered in the room. 😡

True story. 😫


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## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

Haiku said:


> Diesel_Bomber said:
> 
> 
> > Best thing I ever did.
> ...


That's funny. Mine made fun of a tough guy cowboy type who screamed like a little girl.


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

I have heard of cases of chronic pain syndrome after vasectomies. It may be a small percentage, but it happens.


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## dolphindad50 (Jun 11, 2017)

absolutely!


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

WoundedTiger said:


> So they did not do paternity test before she delivered then??
> 
> Think about it this way. The cumulative failure rate of a vasectomy over three years is about 0.45%, or < 1 in 200. So it is 99.55% likely she cheated on him based on that statistic.
> 
> Finally, statistics do NOT take into accord EA's and more men have been wrongfully accused than those who are guilty fathers. I think his reaction was totally natural here. 99.45% is a high number. She should have looked into this. I think the burden of proof is (maybe unfairly) entirely upon her with such numbers.


I agree with you, but somebody is that one in two hundred. But it would seem simple enough to do a DNA test.


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