# Anal Play for men



## think positive (Jun 24, 2011)

I had posted about this several years ago and there were some insightful things mentioned. I can no longer post to this though. The following is a link to it: 









Prostate Massage warning TMI potentially


Ok I am somewhat embarrassed to admit even on an anamous forum. that I have an interest in this. It has been driven by the following factors: 1) I have experienced enormous pleasure when I have a large, firm bowel movement. 2) I have googled it and have found that many men find this to be...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com





Or you can search for it by the name included in the hyperlink above. 

So I have come to terms with the "it is not gay" in any way thing. I have discovered (perhaps from more permissive, public discourse and acceptance of what is "normal" that I am at the point that I am not concerns about this sort of thing). 

Another guy respondent to my last post pointed out the girl-bi cool/man bi-gross phonomina. I wonder how to fish for this without running the risk of turning her off so she may not be totally forthcoming about her true feelings. She professes that she just thinks it is gross (I think from a hygiene perspective) and does not want to partake.

I should point our that I have a strange fascination with "money shots" in porn that I have told my wife about when we were both quite bussed but, have not had any follow up. 

At this point I think I will just explore on my own. Candidly, I like solo sessions which my wife is OK with to some extent. I wish she were more into solo activity but, she shies away from it though she loves to use a toy more than I believe she cares to admit. 

I guess I would ask: 

1-Does anyone have a recommendation for toys that would be appropriate for solo, anal play. 
2-How can I fish around to get her to be candid about if the issue is truly a hygene issue or if there is part of her that feels it may not be quite OK for a man to want. While you can chastise her beliefs but, ot sure this can be changed but, would welcome thougths to the contrary. 
3-I should also point out that DO have a strange fascination large male penisis and/or male ejaculation. While I think that most men do hence why both are front and center to most hetero porn. I am wondering if revealing these 2 things together could be a turn off. 
4-Would I be better off just getting the toy first or do you think it would be best to discuss.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

B-vibe is a great toy solo or duo


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## Imperfections (Nov 26, 2020)

think positive said:


> So I have come to terms with the "it is not gay" in any way thing.


I’m not sure how this sits together with your fascination with ‘large male penisis’ and male ejaculation...But why does it matter if it’s gay or not? Just enjoy yourself. And as long as your girlfriend or whoever is fine about your solo non-gay anal sessions, who cares.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

She already said she thinks it’s gross. She’s going to just get more and more grossed out if you keep on bringing it up.

How many times have you brought it up in the last 4 years since you made that thread?

If she’s not open to it, she’s not open to it. She’s obviously not since you’re back here asking again. 

I don’t think it’s gay but it probably wouldn’t help to mention your fascination with big cocks and semen either. 🤦‍♀️ Keep it to yourself. That’s what fantasies are for.

Get yourself whatever dildo you think you can handle that preferably buzzes. Wait for her to leave and punish that ass. BOOM!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

C.C. says ... said:


> She already said she thinks it’s gross. She’s going to just get more and more grossed out if you keep on bringing it up.
> 
> How many times have you brought it up in the last 4 years since you made that thread?
> 
> ...


I literally lol'd

What she said!










lol


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

#4.


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## longtermdude (Jan 23, 2013)

#4 if she cannot handle what turns you on and is not willing to participate. I believe there are a lot of men with your same interests but for whatever reason they do not share it with their spouse/so.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

think positive said:


> So I have come to terms with the "it is not gay" in any way thing. I have discovered (perhaps from more permissive, public discourse and acceptance of what is "normal" that I am at the point that I am not concerns about this sort of thing).


Good for you.



> Another guy respondent to my last post pointed out the girl-bi cool/man bi-gross phonomina. I wonder how to fish for this without running the risk of turning her off so she may not be totally forthcoming about her true feelings. She professes that she just thinks it is gross (I think from a hygiene perspective) and does not want to partake.


Kinda at a loss with this line. It seems to say that you are fishing for some kind of bi-male thing. I am guessing that you mean fishing for some kind of anal action with your wife, you on the receiving end, but I want to be sure.



> I wish she were more into solo activity but, she shies away from it though she loves to use a toy more than I believe she cares to admit.





> 1-Does anyone have a recommendation for toys that would be appropriate for solo, anal play.


No specific product recommendations, but I do suggest that you get something with the curve that allows for easier prostate massage.



> 2-How can I fish around to get her to be candid about if the issue is truly a hygene issue or if there is part of her that feels it may not be quite OK for a man to want. While you can chastise her beliefs but, ot sure this can be changed but, would welcome thougths to the contrary.


Start by not pussyfooting around the topic. Tell her that you want to talk about various sexual desires and you want some reasons behind her responses. Makes sure she knows that you are as willing to answer the same for her and do so. Ask her specifically, what her issues are with performing anal on you. Is there a difference between using fingers (gloved or not) and using an insertable? If cleanliness is an issue, would assurance of being completely evacuated prior to play be a game changer? Is this a hard limit, or is it simply something that does nothing for her, and maybe she is willing to do so in exchange for something that she wants done that isn't a hard limit for you, but isn't your thing?

You also might consider filling out an activities checklist and then comparing notes. See what each of you enjoy, or think you might enjoy. Then talk about it in a non-sexual situation. This can also open up the conversation for why not such and such.



> 3-I should also point out that DO have a strange fascination large male penisis and/or male ejaculation. While I think that most men do hence why both are front and center to most hetero porn. I am wondering if revealing these 2 things together could be a turn off.


I think you need to do a little more introspection on this aspect, before you bring it up to her. You need to know what it is you actually want. Heterosexual men (as compared to bi-curious or bi-sexual) typically do not want to sexually engage with actual penises. Now keep in mind that, that is not an automatic repulsion to heterosexual acts and they may be willing to do so for the right incentive (say money if one is a porn actor). But the desire is not there. But in that same vein, it is not uncommon for heterosexual men to want to be either pegged by women with realistic strap-ons, or to otherwise have such realistic dildo used on them, either solo or by a partner. In some cases, this goes as far as their using an ejaculating dildo for such play.

You need to decide if you are just looking for the experience or for actual penises. BTW, the large male penis front and center in porn is because most men watching such want to imagine that it is their penis that is in the woman. They are wanting to see the action, not the penis itself.



> 4-Would I be better off just getting the toy first or do you think it would be best to discuss.


If you are able to have solo time without causing a rift between you, and you aren't neglecting your wife, sexually or otherwise, in doing so, feel free to get the toy you desire at any time. However, you seem to want to include your wife in your playing, a good thing IMHO. So don't wait too long in having a serious conversation with her.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

😆


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

A lot of perfectly straight men enjoy it. I mean, it doesn't have to be like a big marital aid. Just finger play or, even more sanitary, a special small marital aid made especially for it that you can use on yourself if nothing else. Obviously, when messing around with anal, it's very unsanitary and, frankly, you have to keep all your wits about you not to give yourself or someone else an e-coli infection. You reserve one appendage for it (flesh or plastic) and don't use that appendage for anything else until after a good washing. So don't be doing it when you're drunk or lazy or if you can't keep your wits about you during sex.

Don't be sticking big things up there. It can damage you. Don't be rough or let anyone be rough. Break the skin and you'll get an infection or tear the lining. Many people have been to the emergency ward to have various and sundry objects removed when something got sucked up in there, so don't just go putting things up without holding onto them. 

Don't expect everyone to get involved in this. It is just gross to a lot of people.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

C.C. says ... said:


> She already said she thinks it’s gross. She’s going to just get more and more grossed out if you keep on bringing it up.
> 
> How many times have you brought it up in the last 4 years since you made that thread?
> 
> ...


I almost feel out my chair!! Now that’s funny!!

Anyways... dude she already let you know she isn’t interested. There is nothing else to discuss.

It’s not my interest but if it is yours .... who cares.

Like C.C said .... just get a dong and keep it to yourself.

However.... if it were me I would at least let my partner know what’s going on just so she doesn’t get taken by surprise


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## Imperfections (Nov 26, 2020)

C.C. says ... said:


> View attachment 73173


Haha, is that before or after she puts another log onto the fire  place? I detect a small obsession here


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Imperfections said:


> Haha, is that before or after she puts another log onto the fire  place? I detect a small obsession here


Lolol hahahahahaha I couldn’t help it. 😆 “can I push in your stool” LMAO


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## missus_ashleigh (Dec 18, 2020)

think positive said:


> I had posted about this several years ago and there were some insightful things mentioned. I can no longer post to this though. The following is a link to it:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I understand pegging inherently isn't bi or gay, I am in no way saying all men that enjoy it are bisexual. I am bringing bisexuality up because the OP brought it up in his first post about this.

Well, you might also be bisexual. That's a sexuality as different from the other two as being gay is different from being straight. My husband is bisexual and what separates him from a gay man is the way he enjoys making love to women. The way he married one and the way he really isn't gay. 😃 I'm saying all this cos my husband isn't the only bisexual man I've dated and there's really nothing gay about bi men. I've also had a bf who wasn't able to have sex with women in his own words, so he is most probably gay. I kept asking was it me and he explained that that's how he was, impotent. When I discussed it with friends later on they suggested he may be gay. Not sure, according to his social media he's married to a woman now. The point being is if you can have sex with a woman without having to imagine a man you are bisexual or straight and literally that's the proof you're not gay.

I know people can still be ignorant and misunderstand bi men, as gay men keep saying you are gay just come on and admit it and straight women kep saying ewww you had/would have liked to have had sex with a man, yuck. Well, guess what straight women also have had sex with men before they met you, so really they need to reconsider when calling sex with men yucky.

The point being, you deserve a partner that will know all of you, and respect and nurture all of you. If your wife cannot do that she might not be a partner of the year at all. Your first post was 8 years ago and you are still not having your needs met from her. She has dropped the ball big time. If there was only one way for my husband to give me multiple orgasms and my husband would ignore it for 8 years I would feel terribly neglected. Maybe it's time for an honest conversation with your wife. I'm sorry if I have nothing more constructive to offer but the understanding that being bi is nothing like being gay or straight, and you were born that way and you deserve a partner that will celebrate all of your sexuality not just half of it.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)




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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Honestly you haven’t had solo play and it’s been 4+ years since you posted about it? 

Why don’t I believe that.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

anal toys for a man?
well, anal beads, especially the ones with a vibrator, will help you to masturbate.

some like those butt plug things, but do start off with a reasonably sized one.

and if she wants to be involved, get her a nice strap on to do you anally with


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