# Really struggling how he is not hurting like I am



## Sa55ycla55y (Dec 10, 2013)

Both of us at different points in our marriage have wanted to get out, however we have 18 years together, most of which were good. We separated in Nov and he seems to be having a mid life crisis. While I understand why he says he wanted out it hurts. I am struggling with the lonliness since he left. He seems so happy and free. He is having some anger issues as am I but how is it not killing him to text or call me? How can he be ok just cutting me out after all these many years. In Sept he begged me not to leave and said how much he loved me. We bought new furniture together. By Nov he was gone. How can men get over relationships so much easier than women do? What is the secret because I need it.


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

Not a man or woman thing. The people that left of either gender are emotionally way ahead of those poor suckers like me and you left behind.

My wife has been a nasty mean opposite of who I've known for 26 years since the day she said she didn't love me. It hasn't stopped for 3 months.


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## IronWine29 (Dec 31, 2013)

Hey Sa55y. Read some of the threads here, and you'll see pretty quickly guys don't have a monopoly on leaving with what appears to be a clean conscience.

You say you wanted out at another time, and he begged you not to leave in Sept. Perhaps he me may have been afraid that you ultimately would be the one to leave, that you would abandon him?

Was any infidelity involved? He may be in the "fog" of a new relationship, which would explain why he's acting happy and free.

The short answer is that there is no easy way to get over it. Stay active, exercise, eat, and sleep. Read about the "180" and go no contact. Learn about yourself.

If that doesn't help right now, let me just say I feel your pain because I know what its like.


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