# Uncontested Divorce?



## FMLuder1013 (Dec 26, 2018)

So if you want to know the whole story of my divorce read my threads on General Relationship Board. 

Wife slept with a minor celebrity and now wants nothing to do with me because she had a blast with her hookup and wants more of that now I guess... I don’t know but she’s eager for a divorce and so am I, we have been agreeing on everything and it’s going surprisingly smoothly. We both want to move on ...me just because I’m done feeling down on myself because of her and her because she wants more hot sex I guess lol

But my question is this....anyone have experience with an uncontested divorce? I feel everything is going so smoothly and our states laws make it pretty easy and quick if both sides agree on everything. I guess I am worried something is going to go wrong at some point because it’s been going too smoothly so far haha

What are people’s experiences and or thoughts on uncontested divorce?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I had one, and it was nice to pay 600 dollars instead of thousands. I say do it if it doesn't screw you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Is it YOU who is preparing the paperwork? Or is it your selfish, disrespectful wife who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but herself?

For your sake, I hope it's YOU and I also hope you're not being foolish with the distribution of assets because you don't want to stand up for yourself.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Yes, we did this. It was smooth, easy, and saved a ton of time and money. No regrets.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I've been through uncontested, went quickly.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

I'm going through an uncontested divorce - 
We did hire a mediator to ensure both parties were agreed on the divisions and get a legal separation document.
We also had to hire a lawyer for moving IRA funds.


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

Don't feel down about yourself, sounds like she 
isn't worth it. Give her as little as possible and get 
her to sign the paperwork quickly. If her new relationship
fizzles ( sound like it will ) then she will come crawling back
to you. Be long gone when she does. You will do better than her.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I did a dissolution. We could have filed it ourselves, but my ex insisted on using lawyer. Cost $1500. We split the fee. We agreed to just split everything down the middle. I even agreed to let her keep her 401K and new paid in full car. I could have gotten more, but at that point I just wanted it over. My point is that even if you don't agree with everything, it is often better to just accept what you can and be done with it, than going to war, paying an attorney way more and end up loosing it anyways. I have a friend who contested everything. 7 years and tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to end something that was over years before.
In my case, everything was over and done in 30 days. No hiccups or delays. The hearing lasted perhaps 15 minutes and the judge signed off.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I hired an attorney for my divorce, because it was by far the easiest way to get all the moving parts of our 15-year marriage divided and disbursed quickly and efficiently. She charged me $2500 to handle all the paperwork and filings. My then-husband did not hire his own attorney. We sat down together at the dining table one Saturday afternoon and divided up our assets and worked out the child custody arrangements on a legal pad. My attorney drafted the papers for us in about a week, making any adjustments necessary (with our knowledge and buy-in) to make the document something a judge would sign off on without much question. When she had everything ready we went to her office to sign and then took our son out for a family dinner together. The judge did not even require us to appear in court. He simply signed the decree after the waiting period had expired, the papers were filed, and we received our copies in the mail a few days later. The entire process, from "I'm done and will be filing for divorce" to having the final decree in my hands took exactly 10 weeks, 31 days of which was the required waiting period for a divorce in my state. 

So, yes, it's entirely possible to have an extremely amicable divorce. But both parties have to really want that to be the case. And it may be that you end up giving up a little more than you strictly _have_ to in order to keep things amicable. Just make sure that the agreement is actually pretty fair to both parties, everyone has signed off on everything, and that it's something a judge will agree to sign off on as well.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

An uncontested divorce is about as good as it gets. Uncontested simply mean y'all both agree to the terms of the dissolution on marriage but the terms of the dissolution vary and the courts usually don't care what you mutually agree. Child custody and visitation likely your biggest issues. Child custody comes in two flavors, legal custody and physical custody. Some folks erroneously believe if they have "joint custody" they don't have to pay child support. Not true. You can have joint legal custody but not joint physical custody. Hence, the parent without joint physical custody will likely be assessed more child support than one with joint physical custody, all other things being equal.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

I went with an uncontested divorce. XW didn't even get a lawyer. Even with a kid, it took about a week to write it up and file it with the court. Two months later, I was officially divorced.

Although, it worked out well and we figured out on our own the best way to split things, I was ready at a moments notice to go nuclear if she got greedy. Burn it to the ground and give her half the ashes. I figured even if I lost, she would too, haha.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

If both of you want this D to go smoothly, there should be zero problems with getting it done quickly.

My observations of these types of uncontested D both IRL and on sites like TAM is that the WS often thinks uncontested D means they and the BS will remain ‘friends’ after it is over.

Screw that noise if your trashy WW brings up the subject.

Tell her you have no desire to see or talk to her ever again after the D is done.

Who the h&ll needs traitorous friends like that in their life.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

My advice is get it done FAST, while she's still stupid enough to believe her new relationship will last. Even do some of her part of the work just to move the process along.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tatsuhiko said:


> my advice is get it done fast, while she's still stupid enough to believe her new relationship will last. Even do some of her part of the work just to move the process along.


^This^


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

FMLuder1013 said:


> So if you want to know the whole story of my divorce read my threads on General Relationship Board.
> 
> Wife slept with a minor celebrity and now wants nothing to do with me because she had a blast with her hookup and wants more of that now I guess... I don’t know but she’s eager for a divorce and so am I, we have been agreeing on everything and it’s going surprisingly smoothly. We both want to move on ...me just because I’m done feeling down on myself because of her and her because she wants more hot sex I guess lol
> 
> ...


Even if you've got to sweeten the deal a bit to make it happen do it and get it over as quickly as possible. 

If both sides agree on everything divorce can go fast and not be a bloodbath. I've had some friends get them done quick and easy. She thinks her new life is going to turn out perfect and just wants you out of the way right now. Capitalize on this because sooner or later she will realize it's not going to the the storybook ending she has in her head and then it's gets much harder to get the deal done.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

My xw had an affair, she wanted the divorce, fast. She hired an attorney (her expense) because she wanted to move on, she suggested that I pay her $50k and she would be good. Seeing as how my net worth was more than $1million I agreed. Her attorney drew up the agreement (youngest child was a Sophmore in college so no visitation issues) which basically said I would pay for my daughters college, health insurance etc, (which I was anyway) and give her the $50k. I paid $500 for an attorney to review the agreement (made a couple of minor changes) AND rewrite my will. I was divorced in less than 100 days. Now when I am in a group of people and they start talking about their divorces, they all hate me within minutes....lol 

Strike while the irons hot!


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

FMLuder1013 said:


> So if you want to know the whole story of my divorce read my threads on General Relationship Board.
> 
> Wife slept with a minor celebrity and now wants nothing to do with me because she had a blast with her hookup and wants more of that now I guess... I don’t know but she’s eager for a divorce and so am I, we have been agreeing on everything and it’s going surprisingly smoothly. We both want to move on ...me just because I’m done feeling down on myself because of her and her because she wants more hot sex I guess lol
> 
> ...


FM -- question for you. From one of the other threads, you said she had this ONS almost 2 YEARS ago? Why all of a sudden does she want to quit your kids and marriage? Do you know if she has been cheating for the past 2 years?


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

When my ex and I got divorced 15-20 years ago (whatever it was), we did the whole thing online. Lawyer.com I think. Went pretty smooth. She wanted to walk so she pretty much gave me everything. I kept the house and she didn't touch my 401K or pension (although it wasn't huge at the time).

It was a piece of cake.


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## FMLuder1013 (Dec 26, 2018)

Jlg07 - from what I can tell, and I didn’t ask many questions after finding out, she had the ONS and kept it to herself thinking it wasn’t anything big but over the next couple years her resentment towards me grew, maybe because I wasn’t famous/hot/exciting enough for her...I don’t know. And then when we went to counseling it finally came out and I was done. She explained what happened that night and I walked out and haven’t talked to her about it at all since. I never even wondered about her cheating more over the past couple years... but I am now lol

She might of, she’s gone a lot so yeah maybe but it doesn’t matter if she did or didn’t really...it wouldn’t change anything so I don’t think it matters. But I’ll ask her for you lol


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

FMLuder1013 said:


> because I wasn’t famous/hot/exciting enough for her...I don’t know.


Well, I don't know about you, but I do know about me. I'm not famous/hot/exciting. I had a SO GF where this was a prevailing factor. She was a groupie. I finally "got it", that I wasn't ever going to be attractive to her, and I left. 1983.

Today, she is 71 years old. The most significant relationship she's had since me is the picture of Elvis she still has on her wall. She could have had me, but she chose him. And, for the last 35 years, there's been no interference from me in their relationship. 

Everything worked out great for her. She loved him, she hated me because I wasn't him. Losing me was a small price to pay for having his picture on her wall all these decades.


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