# Quick and efficient!



## marriedinpei (Jan 15, 2012)

My wife and I usually have sex about once every 4 to 8 weeks. We are both in our 40s. Last time we had sex was the end of October 2011.

I had bought my wife a vibrator shortly after we married. Years later, it wore out and I bought her a new one.

From time to time she confides in me that she prefers the vibrator to me as the vibrator is quick and efficient. 

When we make love, I take forever to climax. She has two good climaxes early during intercourse - with her friend the vibrator helping. Then she is done, just lies there while I continue to make love to her. She gets dry and a bit sore. We add lube, but it dries out pretty fast, gets sticky.

When we sat down to talk about it quite some time ago she informed me that I was a great lover but I take way too long too climax and my member is a little too thick and a little too long. Plus - sex is messy, lube, sweat, cum [if I do climax] etc.

I have offered sex where intercourse would end based on the first climax [by default hers], I would go without and I would masturbate the next day. She gets full release, I get closeness and some fun, she does not get dry and sore, very little mess. We tried it a few times - we both rather enjoyed it - but for the last year or so she is no longer interested. She will joke that I need a girlfriend. I do need a girlfriend, but I want my girlfriend and my wife to be the same person.

Other than sex, we have a good marriage.

For the record, it takes a long time for me to climax if I masturbate too.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

What's a long time? an hour? do you switch it up? and also, spit is a viable substitute for lube, its quick to get to and is just as effective. it's so funny, it seems us guys can't get it right. Some cum too quick, some take too long, penis too big, penis too small. We are a flawed specie indeed.


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## marriedinpei (Jan 15, 2012)

It takes an hour or so for me to climax, more if I wear a condom. Yes, that is our method of birth control. I am very willing to have a vasectomy, as we are not intending to have additional kids and are a little old for a newborn in our 40s. But she doesn't want me to have a vasectomy - the old - what if something happened to me and yopu remarried a much younger woman, you and her might want to have kids of your own etc.

My wife would be grossed out by spit, but a small squeezy bottle with warm water would be good for re-wetting the water based lube - KY, Astroglide and all those products do dry out and my wife has very little natural lube.

I agree - it seems we guys just can't win!

I can do without a climax. The closeness and giving her an orgasm, and me great pleasure short of a climax is something much, much harder to do without.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Have you always been this way?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Go out and start doing research on "delayed ejaculation".

It is a problem for both spouses - not just the husband because it takes a long time to reach the ending point in satisfaction, but it also impacts the wife, both physically and psychologically.

You say you are in your 40's and your wife does not have a lot of natural lubrication. Is she past menopause yet? If not, she could be peri-menopausal, where a woman's hormones start to become imbalanced on the way to getting to menopause. Vaginal dryness is one of the symptoms of peri-menopause and menopause. She should have a chat with her ob/gyn about that - as there are many things that can be tried and that may work for her so that she has more comfort during sex.

Best wishes.


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## marriedinpei (Jan 15, 2012)

Yin Princess - yes, I have had the delay ejaculation problem dating back to my first experiences with masturbation.

Enchantment - good advice - I appreciate it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Hello fellow Canuk!!!

Do you guys ever use the vibrator together? Do you do anything to get you riled up before penetration?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Hide the vibrator.


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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

Can't help you with the length of time you take, but for lube try coconut oil. We get it at walmart. It works great, google it if you want research it. We tried every lube made, nothing worked except the coconut oil....


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## marriedinpei (Jan 15, 2012)

When we do make love, she uses the vibrator on herself and has tried it on me, but while it helps, the effect quickly subsides when I re-enter her. I have suggested coconut oil but she does not like the idea of a non-water soluble substance inside her. Also, we use condoms for birth control and the coconut oil would break down the latex.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

She sounds like a controlling person; do you think that this is inhibiting your desire during lovemaking? Do you worry about offending her rather than concentrating on your pleasure? That can cause inhibitions that may delay your release.

Have you tried hand jobs and oral to stimulate you before penetration? I can see how prolonged penetration would become wearying for both of you.


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## marriedinpei (Jan 15, 2012)

She refuses to give me oral. She has attempted handjobs, but she is very rough [honestly, it hurts!] and I then lose my erection. I have tried to coach her to a lighter touch, but she doesn't get it.


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