# I don’t love my husband anymore



## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

So the title says it all. I just don’t. We have been married for 3 years and in that time, he’s cheated with two women. It was emotional not physical and one of which was with his ex girlfriend who he had a very raunchy sexual relationship with. 

I lost my virginity to this mf. Anyway. I think I’m just venting than looking for advice. 
I do love him in the sense that I take care of him and I do care about his physical and emotional well being. I do carry out my responsibilities in this marriage as much as I can and he probably also thinks it’s working but in my mind, a part of me despises him. I feel like and think I’ve forgiven him but a part of me hates him and wants to see him hurt and die. Although when he gets even a cut my heart sinks and I feel so hurt. I think it’s because I’m INFJ, I’m generally empathetic. 

I Have a high libido so our sex life has not suffered although I fantasise about other men and this does it for me. I pretend he is not even there, I feel like I just want to get him back. 

I’ve unfortunately emotionally detached myself from him and everyone. I don’t feel safe with anyone. The night before I found out about his affairs, I felt so safe and warm and fuzzy in our relationship, I thought it was perfect and such an amazing feeling to have someone who has my back and loves me this much. I refuse to feel tht way again because I got my heart stomped on I don’t trust a soul. 

He keeps urging me to go for counselling because I am generally a depressed person, although I’m mostly functional in all areas of my life. I don’t want to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, I had a very traumatic childhood and I’ve been in and out and I just can’t permanently get out of this state. I’ve managed to get myself to a point where I’m surviving and I think that’s as good as it gets. 

I don’t want another relationship because I don’t believe in love. I’m an author so my imagination keeps me going. He’s a few feet Away from me and sometimes I just wish I wAs single far away from him. Sometimes I wish he would have a physical affair and leave me for another woman. I’ve learnt to walk alone and I don’t want to be the one who walks out especially since I told him we can work on things. 

He just got away with everything, no consequences he probably feels like the man, while I’m dying inside everyday. My father was a cheater, his father is a cheater and he is a cheater and I don’t think I’ve seen the last of it because he loves women.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

Do you have children?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If he has already has emotional(possibly physical) affairs with 2 women in only 3 years, its highly unlikely that it will stop. No wonder you have lost your love for him, he cant be trusted and has no integrity. 
I too have seen many affairs in my family, but there are good men out there who can be trusted, but he isn't one of them. 

Not sure why you are still with him.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

That sucks. 

What advice can TAM offer you? I mean, you're going to hear "just leave," but there are reasons why you haven't done that already. So do you want help with getting to a place where you can leave?


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

These emotional affairs.... Can you give us some examples of the kinds of communications you have discovered?

What was he saying to other women?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Well, he's a **** and we don't love him either.

Give him the consequences he deserves! Leave him.

I know I know...like @Marduk said, that's all we have to offer. But in your case it is actually the best advice.


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

OnTheFly said:


> Do you have children?


No we don’t. I’m not on any contraceptive. I wouldn’t be opposed to having kids if it happens, if and once things fall apart I don’t want anyone else in my life, I just see him as a sperm donor right now if it does happen.


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

As'laDain said:


> These emotional affairs.... Can you give us some examples of the kinds of communications you have discovered?
> 
> What was he saying to other women?


He deleted most of the communications. With his ex the only messages I saw were , missing you, hope you’re having a day as beautiful as you are, things to that effect. With the other woman they spoke about marriage and possibly marrying her in the future. He has got a damn big ego.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Do NOT have kids with him.
IF you are not in a stable relationship with him, you really don't want to bring children into that sort of environment.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> No we don’t. I’m not on any contraceptive. I wouldn’t be opposed to having kids if it happens, if and once things fall apart I don’t want anyone else in my life, I just see him as a sperm donor right now if it does happen.


DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN!!!!! 


Divorce. Seriously what are you doing at least give your future children a chance to have a happy family. 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

GET OUT NOW while you still can. Life is way way too short.


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

Faithful Wife said:


> Well, he's a **** and we don't love him either.
> 
> Give him the consequences he deserves! Leave him.
> 
> I know I know...like @Marduk said, that's all we have to offer. But in your case it is actually the best advice.


Yeah he is. Thank you, I know, I don’t trust him and fear I can’t rebuild that trust. I don’t know why I won’t leave, it’s like I’m waiting for one more stuff up and then I’m out. I wanted to fight for our marriage but now my love has run out. 
I think it’s also because in terms of men I don’t have any expectations hence I don’t believe there’s any better out there so I’m not bothering to end things and possibly build a future with someone new. 
I obviously have a lot of reflecting to do, thanks for takin time to respond


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

Marduk said:


> That sucks.
> 
> What advice can TAM offer you? I mean, you're going to hear "just leave," but there are reasons why you haven't done that already. So do you want help with getting to a place where you can leave?


I’m not sure actually. I feel like I just needed to get my true feelings out there. I’m close to my mum but no one has a clue as to what’s going on. I think I just wanted to free myself by admitting the truth to someone. Now, I need to think about what’s to happen next. Thank you for your time


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> If he has already has emotional(possibly physical) affairs with 2 women in only 3 years, its highly unlikely that it will stop. No wonder you have lost your love for him, he cant be trusted and has no integrity.
> I too have seen many affairs in my family, but there are good men out there who can be trusted, but he isn't one of them.
> 
> Not sure why you are still with him.


He flirts with women infront of me, stares at women right in front of me so I know he pretends to have integrity but he doesn’t. Unfortunately I don’t believe in a faithful man because I don’t know of one. I think I’m just going to focus on my goals and love myself. I’m going to give myself time to think about what I want and work my way towards it. I don’t know if I can love him again ...also not sure why I’m still with him


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Seriously why don't you just divorce?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Justno1 said:


> I’m not sure actually. I feel like I just needed to get my true feelings out there. I’m close to my mum but no one has a clue as to what’s going on. I think I just wanted to free myself by admitting the truth to someone. Now, I need to think about what’s to happen next. Thank you for your time



You have one life. 

Best not to waste it while you make up your mind.


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

Yes I feel pretty stupid for sticking with someone I don’t love and don’t have kids with. 

Idk what’s wrong with me. I’m 26 but I feel 60. I think I’m bitter about giving him a second chance but at the sane time I feel like I have to follow through with giving him a second chance. 

Thanks for everyone’s time


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## Justno1 (May 11, 2019)

sokillme said:


> Seriously why don't you just divorce?


I seriously don’t know, I think it stems from me hating myself so much. It sounds so stupid when I type it out. I know I need help.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

Right now you sound like the frog who's in a pot of water getting hotter and hotter. It says it'll jump out when it gets too hot, but the pot is heating up so slowly that it doesn't notice. You're wanting that big drop where things get really bad, but the reality is it might just rot slowly and you'll never get the jolt you need to get booted.

Maybe it will help to talk through the practicals of if you actually got a divorce. It doesn't mean you have to do it, but at least you'd have an idea of what it would look like on the other side. What is your living and financial situation like? Do you own a home or rent? Do you work and can support yourself? Do you guys have a lot of shared assets that would need to be broken up? Any family nearby you could stay with during the transition?


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

Please do not allow yourself to get pregnant by this man. That will make things so much worse. You need to figure out your path forward from where you're at, and bringing a child into this mess will make it so much harder to do the right thing for yourself. Personally I'd stop having sex with him altogether and go get tested for STD's.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> No we don’t. I’m not on any contraceptive. I wouldn’t be opposed to having kids if it happens, if and once things fall apart I don’t want anyone else in my life, I just see him as a sperm donor right now if it does happen.


Cut bait. It's not going to get better. 

Why would you want your children to inherit this a--hat's DNA?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> No we don’t. I’m not on any contraceptive. I wouldn’t be opposed to having kids if it happens, if and once things fall apart I don’t want anyone else in my life, I just see him as a sperm donor right now if it does happen.


Ah, yes authoress, he is just that lying sperm donor, he lies 'with' other women, he lies 'to' them, he lies to you, he writes milky white truth in you with his flesh pen. 

Oh my, he does so 'this' with those others, too, three, four.

Why for art Thee so complacent?
Has this, your depression taken you from yourself?

........................................................................................

I so noted this cheating thing, his father, your father, now him. 

Do you want to further this trend by giving him a child? 
Yet, another child having a cheating father?

.......................................................................................

When you lie with him you lie to yourself, you think of other men doing you, why not start fresh, and do yourself.

Do yourself a favor. 

.......................................................................................

Find a new flavor of man. 
One having morals, he having good taste.

......................................................................................

Your Sun seems tainted by Neptune, or maybe one of the other slow movers. This cheated upon predilection, likely runs in your blood, certainly runs in your fate.

Learn the whys, learn how to break away from this trend.

You cannot leave him, nobody likes to lose.
You did not (only lose) you did not win anything.
You did not learn from your mistakes.

Neptune can, and seems to suck the will out of some, us humans.

Resist, rebel, remake yourself.



King Brian-


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Don't be afraid to admit you made a mistake in marrying him--losing your virginity. His EA's are evidence of his mindset--you do not need a PA to know his lack of integrity. He belittles you by leering at other women in front of you. He disrespects you because you allow it. You may have said you'd work on the marriage, but NOW you realize he is a player. 

Where are your-self respect and gumption? If you allow others to control your life whichever the wind blows, you are in for a bumpy ride. BTW: Kids will not tie him to you--do not try to use children as a lifeline to this man-child.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

I get the feeling from what you've written so far that your husband hasn't shown real remorse and regret about these affairs. You are only 26, so consider the fact that you have an entire future ahead.

How about getting some counseling for yourself? It would probably be in your best interests to separate. Work on your own self-esteem. Then see how it pans out. If you decided to separate, how do you think your husband would react? 

Sorry, but a man who cheats like this doesn't sound like good husband material ….


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> Yes I feel pretty stupid for sticking with someone I don’t love and don’t have kids with.
> Idk what’s wrong with me. *I’m 26 but I feel 60. * I think I’m bitter about giving him a second chance but at the sane time I feel like I have to follow through with giving him a second chance.
> 
> Thanks for everyone’s time


If you keep on this path you will wake up one day and you WILL be 60 and wonder what the hell happened to your life. 
Or worse, you’ll get a diagnosis.
You don’t want to move because it’s painful to change. CHANGE anyway. Do things first, and the will to do them will come later.

It openly saddens me when people make comments like this about having kids. 
As soon as they pop out they are not YOUR kids or an extension of your hopes and dreams. They are human beings with a future separate from you.
DON’T knowingly put them through this. It’s f’in cruel. All they will ever know is that their world got blown up and their mom/dad is no longer part of their life. You don’t have the right to do that, especially since you don’t even HAVE kids yet.

Lawyer up. Leave. He a selfish a-hole who’s not gonna change.
There is someone out there waiting to cherish you.
Go find them.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

I’m so sorry. You deserve better than being cheated on repeatedly.

He is a serial cheater. Cheating isn’t what he did, it’s who he is.



> Sometimes I wish he would have a physical affair and leave me for another woman. I’ve learnt to walk alone and I don’t want to be the one who walks out especially since I told him we can work on things.


I totally understand. I always suspected I would marry my first girlfriend, which I did. I wouldn’t want to break up with or divorce anyone. But if he forces your hand, you may have to do what you have to do.

Use birth control, FFS!!! Do not make it harder to find a new man. Your H has committed adultery against you. Divorce is morally permitted in cases of adultery. You don’t need to prove it to divorce him legally - no fault divorce, irreconcilable differences. You know he’s an adulterer, and that is enough.

You are only 26. There are so many men who would love to marry you and treat you right. You’ll find someone else in time to have a family.

The man you should be with is out there, wondering where the woman he is supposed to marry is at, and you need to stop wasting your time with this loser and find your real husband. Don’t delay him any longer. Don’t make him be a stepfather to this *******’s kids, and give your real husband fewer children because you’ve “had enough kids.” Don’t call your real husband, crying that your ******* XH didn’t show up for the court-ordered custody exchange and now you’ll be late for work again and probably get fired, and he needs to leave his job to watch the kids while you plead to not get fired. Don’t make your real husband get a second job to pay for XH’s kids when he works under the table to avoid paying child support. Please, just don’t. Be faithful to your future husband and treat him right by divorcing your ******* first husband now.

You don’t want multiple baby daddies, baby daddy drama, complex custody arrangement, etc.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it, the only life you get. You don’t get a second chance. Living a life of anger and resentment will not result in you getting rewarded in the afterlife or the next life.

You made a mistake in marrying him. You cannot fix the mistake by remaining married to him. All it would do is maintain appearances. Hopefully you value the truth and your happiness, and that of your future children, more than maintaining appearances for others.

The sooner you get out, the better. The fewer kids, the younger your age, the better.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Honestly, Justno1, you will remain in an unhappy state if you stay with this clown. He's a serial cheater. Get rid of him! It's too early, but know this: There are men out there who don't cheat. You deserve one.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Justno1 said:


> I know, I don’t trust him and fear I can’t rebuild that trust.


Your fear is correct. You cannot rebuild trust. He is the one who has to do that. You can't do it for him.



Justno1 said:


> I think I’m bitter about giving him a second chance but at the sane time I feel like I have to follow through with giving him a second chance.


1. You have a right to change your mind.
2. What did your second chance include? He doesn't appear to have changed. Isn't that something that he is supposed to do if given a second chance? He is flirting and staring. In my mind, that is over the line and he is second chance has been used up.




Justno1 said:


> I seriously don’t know, I think it stems from me hating myself so much. It sounds so stupid when I type it out. I know I need help.


Some people stick with a therapist for years and years. There is no reason why you should feel bad about being in therapy indefinitely. Just go.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

I have not posted in a very very long time but this post is so sad and I wanted to chime in. 
Your self esteem seems to have been destroyed by this man and your words are all over the place.
Please don’t allow yourself to become pregnant. 
Please seek counseling to get yourself emotionally strong.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> Yes I feel pretty stupid for sticking with someone I don’t love and don’t have kids with.
> 
> Idk what’s wrong with me. I’m 26 but I feel 60. I think I’m bitter about giving him a second chance but at the sane time I feel like I have to follow through with giving him a second chance.
> 
> Thanks for everyone’s time


Most likely the reason that you do not leave is that you are depressed and it takes a huge amount of energy to end a relationship.

What will work is if you make a plan. What are the things you need to do to leave and to make sure you are ok when you do end the relationship? Make a list. The just work them one at a time. A time will come in less time than you realize that you have done all the steps and have only one left... to walk out the door. By that time, it will be much easier to leave.

When you make this list, concentrate on the things that you need to do to make yourself feel better... like doing things with friends, working out, etc. What are the sorts of things you enjoy doing? Do you have friends that you can socialize with?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> I seriously don’t know, I think it stems from me hating myself so much. It sounds so stupid when I type it out. I know I need help.


Well then go get some! Having a kid is a responsibility you need to be in shape mentally before you do that. Time to have courage and go get some help so you can move on an find someone who is faithful and then and only then you should have a kid. 

You can do this. But ask for help if you need it. Your future kid will thank you for it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> He flirts with women infront of me, stares at women right in front of me so I know he pretends to have integrity but he doesn’t. Unfortunately I don’t believe in a faithful man because I don’t know of one. I think I’m just going to focus on my goals and love myself. I’m going to give myself time to think about what I want and work my way towards it. I don’t know if I can love him again ...also not sure why I’m still with him


There are countless faithful men, many of then here on TAM. I know loads myself, including my husband. 
Just because your husband is an awful man and terrible husband doesn't mean that all men are. 
You are settling for second best, in his case third or maybe forth best. You can tell if a man has strong moral values and integrity by how he lives, your husband hasn't got them. You are in for a life time of misery, and right now you are enabling his terrible behaviour by staying and doing nothing. 

Don't even think of having a baby with him.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Please don't think of having a kid with someone you don't love and trust. Nothing good will come of it for you or your child.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

@Justno1 I am not trying to be harsh here. YOU DESERVE to be loved. But my friend you have to help yourself but asking someone for help. I know your situation sucks and you feel stuck, but you have power. You have agency in your own life. Please start to take it at little at a time OK? Don't give up because you bought a lemon. Just junk it and go get another car. 

Please go get help. Get out or your depression. Your life is not over but you have to live it.

You have got to give yourself permission to hope for better. You have to have courage to do that. It's time to be brave. You can do it.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



EleGirl said:


> Most likely the reason that you do not leave is that you are depressed and it takes a huge amount of energy to end a relationship.
> 
> What will work is if you make a plan. What are the things you need to do to leave and to make sure you are ok when you do end the relationship? Make a list. The just work them one at a time. A time will come in less time than you realize that you have done all the steps and have only one left... to walk out the door. By that time, it will be much easier to leave.
> 
> When you make this list, concentrate on the things that you need to do to make yourself feel better... like doing things with friends, working out, etc. What are the sorts of things you enjoy doing? Do you have friends that you can socialize with?


I agree with EleGirl. Start planning and taking those steps. Look where you are going rather than where you have been.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

You need a man, a husband and a fellow human with which to share your life.

He isn't any of those things.

Fire him from your life.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You gave this man your hand, he gave you a ring.

It was not really made of gold, rather it was plated-over lead.

It has taken you, lead you to despair, dragged you down to those depths we call despair.

Despair? 
Disappear from that, from him.

Dissolve the ring, divorce the sorry thing, that unsettled, and nettled sting that is your husband.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You suffer paralysis, an inability to climb out from your pit of (what is it?), yeah, despair.

Because of him you trust no man, because of him you have thrust yourself square, into a round and boiling pot. 

You will slow-cook yourself into mush, never again regaining your form and composure.

Alas, why?

We cry, we can only ask this.... why? 

Why have you heaped this slop, onto your salad-days plate.
You need not answer us, you need only answer this (to) yourself, answering this as to why, for this, your stopped-dead fate.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> So the title says it all. I just don’t. We have been married for 3 years and in that time, he’s cheated with two women. It was emotional not physical and one of which was with his ex girlfriend who he had a very raunchy sexual relationship with.


I'm just curious - do these women live on another continent or hundreds/thousands of miles away? If they don't, then the chances that his tacky little affairs actually WERE physical is* pretty high*. It's obvious he was fishing, so he's not likely to turn down the opportunity if it arose. 

I would highly recommend you get STD testing. Oh, he'll lie to you through his teeth and claim he's been a choir boy but again, the chances are pretty low that he hasn't gotten himself some side activity. When you have your fishing poles in the water, you're looking for action - and he was looking for action.



> Sometimes I wish he would have a physical affair and leave me for another woman.


I'm going to ask you a question. Are you surgically connected to this guy at the hip so you would SEE everything he does every single minute of the day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?

Are you?

If you're not (and I'm assuming you're not) then you DON'T know anything for certain. That's just common sense. Just because he likes to get himself action on the side doesn't mean he wants to leave you. Most cheaters actually *prefer* to have a chump at home catering to all their needs and creating a home for them and raising their children for them while they're out having their fun. That's what most cheaters WANT. He wants to cheat, not leave you. He's selfish as hell - like all of them.



> I’ve learnt to walk alone and I don’t want to be the one who walks out especially since I told him we can work on things.


How many MORE excuses are you going to make? 



> He just got away with everything, no consequences he probably feels like the man, while I’m dying inside everyday.


 I'm sorry, but at one time you were a victim of this jerk. Now you're a *volunteer.* You* allow* him to continually disrespect you by gaping at other women, you know deep down he's cheated on you even though you refuse to admit it, and he's a complete FAILURE as a partner and a human being. Yet you keep making excuses for why you continue to cling to him. 

I guess you'll know when you've *finally* had enough of his utter disrespect. 

Good luck to you.


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## nekonamida (Feb 21, 2017)

Justno1 said:


> Unfortunately I don’t believe in a faithful man because I don’t know of one. I think I’m just going to focus on my goals and love myself. I’m going to give myself time to think about what I want and work my way towards it.


Saying a faithful man doesn't exist because you don't know one is like saying that only animals that exist are cats and dogs because those are the only animals you've ever seen. Or that the only flower in the world are daisies because that's the only flower you know. There's 7 billion people in the world. Half of them are men. Just because you don't know of any doesn't mean they don't exist. 

You're staying because you don't want to do the work of leaving. It's easier to stay than to work out the logistics. The splitting up, moving out, lawyers, social pressure, there's a lot of work involved. But it's worth it.

The WORST and most stupid thing that you could do is get pregnant because it will delay your plans of leaving for at least a few years and it doesn't matter how you view him. He will still be your children's father. He will still have legal rights to them that you can't deny. He will be in your life for a minimum of 18 years and probably more even if you're not with him. If you don't like him now, you're going to hate seeing him choosing women over his family, dealing with his future wives, and the whole mess that comes with a man who is destined to have a series of tenuous relationships because of his infidelity. You should be thanking whatever higher power you believe in that you have the gift of walking away and never seeing him again. Not shrugging your shoulders at the possibility of prolonged misery.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He's not going to change so a priority for you should be to get the help you need and move on. If you have a child with him, you'll be tied to him for a very long time. Don't.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When the TAMSTER's pound sense in you, there is no place untouched or left plumply round. No doubt left around.

If there is any place left untouched, and any red-remarks that you can flatly deny, please tell us, we will expound on that too, in addition, also.



King Brian- 

humans can be so bothersome.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Justno1 said:


> He deleted most of the communications. With his ex the only messages I saw were , missing you, hope you’re having a day as beautiful as you are, things to that effect. With the other woman they spoke about marriage and possibly marrying her in the future. He has got a damn big ego.



Oh, sure, these are just emotional affairs....

So many men would love to have a wife with a high sex drive like you.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm sorry, but at one time you were a victim of this jerk. Now you're a *volunteer.*


QFT


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

Birth control will not stop the pain of being intimate with someone you do not love and allow you to hurt you... you need to communicate your hurt in very clearly in boundaries that will be understood.

Continuing intimacy is your call, but think about how you make yourself feel every time you are physical with someone who has treated you this way... what is trust if not a secure boundary built on healthy repeated actions?

We are all prone to some insecurity in a relationship at first, but a healthily progressing marriage should weed out those insecurities in the first few years or else one finds themselves in doubt, or worse, out of love.

A lack of limits can definitely place one in an out of love place... if he cannot take responsibility for his actions and end this suffering, find the courage to stand up for yourself... if it does not repair your marriage it will at least prepare you for your planning on ending it.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

If he’s a narcissist, for example, he may have picked you because you were easily manipulated, and then groomed that part of you to become even more dominant. Through ego depletion, fear mongering, etc. 

I only post that to see if it resonates. Unfortunately the only one that can get you out of this is you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*



Justno1 said:


> I seriously don’t know, I think it stems from me hating myself so much. It sounds so stupid when I type it out. I know I need help.


You need therapy for you.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Is your husband the kind of father you would want to have had? A man who doesn't keep his promises and treats women like objects? A man whose love is untrue and unreliable? Is this the kind of father that you want to give to your children, because you have a choice here. Make the right one for the sake of any children you will have. Give your children a loving, truthful, honorable father. They are out there.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

For every would-be sadist, a wood-be masochist, sadly exists.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: I don’t love my husband anymore*

Hi sweetheart,

You are going through a very tough time. We here at TAM will tell you (without filter) what you are hoping to figure out. You dealing with it IRL is much different than us simply saying to leave. Yet, the truth lies in what you have told us. You are married to a cheater, and you don’t love him anymore.

You are very young, and if you move on now, you can still someday celebrate your 50th Happy Anniversary with the wonderful father and grandfather of your babies. You can close this bad chapter (the preface) as a lesson learned, and then start the real story of your life.

Continue to talk openly here about your feelings, and you will get not only more unfiltered, straight to the point answers, but also a lot of support. I hope you gather the strength and courage to leave soon, and not allow this man to impregnate you, and tie you to him for at least another 18 years.

A beautiful, single, 26 year old woman with no kids and only one sexual partner in her past is a pretty great thing to be.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Hell ya!! Get a new life, live


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

SunCMars said:


> For every would-be sadist, a wood-be masochist, sadly exists.


Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas,
Everybody's looking for something.

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Hold your head up
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

You have to get counselling first to restore your self stem and talk through the issues you have. Then start planning to leave him. Otherswise you are setting yourself up for a life of long suffering.


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