# Stuck



## LucyMG (Mar 18, 2018)

This is my first time here and I just need to vent.. my husband and I always had kind of a rocky relationship. But we loved each other like crazy so we always made it work. After we hadn’t my currently 11 month old son we started to fight more and more and now it’s everyday. We fight and yell in front of my son even tho I try and tel him not to. It’s constant verbal abuse and he’s made me into a monster and it’s not fair to me or my son to see us like this.. I wanted to separate but we are both Assyrian (middle eastern) and that’s a big no no in our culture. My parents for sure would never support my decision or me. I’m scared to be alone but I don’t think it’s fair for me to cry everyday and suffer for the rest of my life.. if anyone out there understands or has been where I’ve been.. I’d love to have someone to talk to.. I love my son and don’t blame him obviously or regret him, but I regret ever meeting my husband. It’s an awful feeling..


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When you divorce your culture, you can then divorce your husband.

In life, hang on to those things that have value and grow in value as you adopt them.

Discard those things that have little value and decrease in value as you hang on to them.


This is the 21st Century. 
We have been to the Moon and back. 
We can clone animals.
Modern Medicine is absolutely amazing.
Modern technology is mind boggling.

Religion and culture needs to catch up....
Or, just go away.

For you-
It goes away when you abandon a culture that does not add-up, match-up to reality.
Does not add value to your life.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I hope a few of the women posters on TAM can and will talk to you, take you under their wing.
Once you find a nice lady to chat with, you can PM each other. 

You need a modern perspective. Nothing else will suffice.

You are a free women, not a women in bondage.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Part of where you are I understand, but I've never been without means of support on the outside of my marriage. 

I understand how being with a verbally-abusive, angry GF changed me from being easy-going, confident, polite person into someone I didn't like at all. I became angry, like her, I even threw a chair into the wall. I couldn't believe this was me, I had never in my life been like this.

My GF and I had a son together and she had a daughter from previous relationship. I loved her daughter as she was my own daughter, I still do, she will become 50 years old this year. My son has passed away.

I tried every way I could to change the relationship. I hated that my children watched us and learned this awful behavior from us. I finally left after several years.

To restate a bit from what SunCMars said:

For me-
It went away when I abandoned a relationship that did not add-up, match-up to my needs.

Did not add value to my life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

LucyMG said:


> This is my first time here and I just need to vent.. my husband and I always had kind of a rocky relationship. But we loved each other like crazy so we always made it work. After we hadn’t my currently 11 month old son we started to fight more and more and now it’s everyday. We fight and yell in front of my son even tho I try and tel him not to. It’s constant verbal abuse and he’s made me into a monster and it’s not fair to me or my son to see us like this.. I wanted to separate but we are both Assyrian (middle eastern) and that’s a big no no in our culture. My parents for sure would never support my decision or me. I’m scared to be alone but I don’t think it’s fair for me to cry everyday and suffer for the rest of my life.. if anyone out there understands or has been where I’ve been.. I’d love to have someone to talk to.. I love my son and don’t blame him obviously or regret him, but I regret ever meeting my husband. It’s an awful feeling..


How old are you and your husband?

What do your parents say about the way he treats you?

Do you have a job? or have you ever had a job?


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

LucyMG said:


> This is my first time here and I just need to vent.. my husband and I always had kind of a rocky relationship. But we loved each other like crazy so we always made it work.


Well yes, this is "crazy", but not "loving each other". 

The child will have a lifetime of damage if this isn't fixed. 

If you are going full-on Assyrian culture then he can marry your sister, maltreat you, and consider you his property. You would have gotten bride-price for your family at marriage.

If you aren't going to follow traditions in these respects, I don't see why you should follow anything but modern standards.


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