# So confused.... please help.



## thelostgirl (Jan 6, 2012)

I am 21 and have been married for a little over a year to my best friend of 9 years. Everything was so perfect when we were dating and at the start of the marriage, but for the past year it's just all gone so wrong. It started with infidelity, he didn't really consider it cheating though. He had been talking to a woman for awhile, I thought it was just a friendship. He confessed that they had exchanged nude pictures and he had even had her come to our home while I was asleep with the intention of screwing her, but then decided he could not do it and made her leave. The next day he abruptly cut off the friendship and told me it was because she had been flirting and propsitioning him but that nothing had happened. I believed him because I trusted him whole heartedly. About a month later he broke down and confessed what had happened, he said he didn't tell me at first because he was scared of losing me. He said it would never happen again, he is my everything so I agreed to stay. Shortly after that he lost his job. I worked and supported us for 4 months while he stayed at home and did nothing, he wouldn't even help with housework. When confronted about it he blamed it on depression and promised multiple times he would get better, all the while refusing to get help. Eventually he got a job and things started to look up. Then we totalled our car about 2 months ago and while waiting for our settlement we could not find a steady ride for him to get to and from work, so he lost that job. Shortly afterwards we lost our house and had to move in with family. Now it's more of the same, he stays at home all day and does nothing, hasn't even put in an application or resume for a month. This isn't the man I knew, he used te be driven, determined to make a great life for us and go back to school. He used to be trusting, loving, and easy going. Now he is so jealous I can't even go to work without him suspecting I'm cheating, if I don't answer a call or text within 5 minutes he accuses me of cheating. We can never do anything separately, he has gotten so deparately suspicious and clingy I can't even hang out with my family because he suspects they are trying to break us up. I've always been very conservative with my dress, now even wearing a long sleaved shirt with a knee length skirt and leggings I am being "too revealing." I'm not allowed to have any friends anymore, and am not allowed to have a facebook. I have always been so loyal and supoortive. It has gotten to a point that I don't even know who I'm married to anymore, this is not the man I knew. He is 24 and acts like a jealous 16 year old boy. He refuses to get any kind of help or counseling. I know this is long... I just don't know what to do anymore and I have no one to talk to.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Glad that he confessed than rather have you find out on your own. 

Tell him that you want him, but not in his current condition. Also let him know that you have faith in him getting better. Tell him to get help or it's over. If that doesn't move him, nothing will.

Sorry


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