# Nothing makes sense anymore..need advice



## dianthus (Apr 29, 2014)

Im new here, desperate too. I want to leave my marriage of 18 years 2 kids, now teens. My husband works all the time, travels all the time and when hes home hes either working or doing something else that doesnt involve us. Its like were living in the same house but not together. It feels like its on purpose, like hes avoiding me. I get negative vibes from him when hes home.

When I try talking to him about it, many times over many years he says things will change,and they do for about a week. He treats me nice for a day occassionally only to get me into bed, so we do sleep together once a week, but now im onto this manipulation and feel used. 

We both love the outdoors and hiking, but he gets mad at me when I cant keep up with him on the trails and we end up fighting. So the only date we go on is to dinner sometimes and all he talks about is work. He genuinely loves his job, more than anything and I know I cant compete with that. 

Ive been seriously considering leaving and he knows, he doesnt try very hard to change things, I think he thinks im just saying that, but im serious. 
Ive invited him to dinner wed to discuss separating and figure out living arrangements, its just so hard because I love him so much, thats what makes living with him so hard too!


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## WatchmansMoon (Mar 6, 2013)

I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Several things you said really stand out, however. You've been married 18 yrs, that's an amazing accomplishment, and you said you still love him "so much" - that's a wonderful thing too! He's not cheating on you, etc. There's a great deal of potential to heal this relationship, so don't give up too easily. Counseling can work wonders. Have you tried that yet? There are some books out there to bring a spark back to your marriage, or give you new ideas to lift you up. (i.e. 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage) HUGS to you!


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

How did the discussion go?

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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