# Article about a different reason all together that sex suffers in marriage



## Emptyshelldad (Apr 29, 2013)

Why Sexual Passion Fades | Psychology Today

I posted more in depth on the infidelity forum.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Interesting article, and I'm sure for some people, that's the answer. Particularly, as she says, for couples who are already emotionally close - who like each other. 

In my own marriage, however, I found that it wasn't more dominance I needed from him in the bedroom. It was less asshat from him outside of the bedroom.


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## bobo672 (Mar 28, 2014)

I actually read this book and it's pretty insightful. I agree with most of it.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What does feminism have to do with what goes on in the bedroom? 

My definition of feminism is totally off I guess. I thought it was a movement that earned women the freedom to use their God-given talents without impedance because of their gender alone? 

I thought it espoused fairness in the workplace in terms of pay and advancement. 

Have I missed something here. 

I suppose another way of looking at it is that a feminist is a woman who 
*voices an opinion 
*is a challenge
*expresses unhappiness in a relationship
*has a mind of her own. 
*has personal ambition 
*has opinions
*enjoys her sexuality 
*expects sex to be mutually enjoyable 
*shows any objection to being more than decorous and compliant.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

So the bad boy is wanted in the bedroom, after being expelled from the house by feminism....


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> What does feminism have to do with what goes on in the bedroom?
> 
> My definition of feminism is totally off I guess. I thought it was a movement that earned women the freedom to use their God-given talents without impedance because of their gender alone?
> 
> ...


Seriously? Women didn't have opinions or minds and didn't enjoy sex until feminism? Sweet Mother of Pearl! Hundreds of thousands of years of nothing but abject sorrow and misery for anyone with a vagina until feminist showed up.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Anne Hutchinson - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

One of our earliest states, Rhode Island, was essentially founded by a woman less than 20 years after the Pilgrims landed.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Interesting article, and I'm sure for some people, that's the answer. Particularly, as she says, for couples who are already emotionally close - who like each other.
> 
> In my own marriage, however, I found that it wasn't more dominance I needed from him in the bedroom. It was less asshat from him outside of the bedroom.


Amen sister.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> So the bad boy is wanted in the bedroom, after being expelled from the house by feminism....


bing bing bing we have a winner

someone mentioned "less of an asshat out of the bedroom" which i totally get and it cracked me up...however, women in general are sexually attracted to bad boys...asshats if you will...despite what feminism teached us, women in general still like dominant bad boys sexually...as a "husband" you cant win


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

From the article:

"But what the science shows is that our animal sexual brains crave an asymmetry of power in the bedroom. Women’s bodies still long to be sexually taken by a man who is capable of over-powering her with his strength, but chooses to love her. And men still crave a responsive, open lover—one who will enthusiastically follow his lead. The exquisite dance of sexual domination and submission remains an intoxicating element of love-making, in spite of our desire for equality in other aspects of life."

This is what she has concluded based on "what science says". But they are now just cycling back and forth, trying to pin down what works for women...and trying to cover all bases.

But what they are missing is:

*homosexuality

*females who are dominant sexually

*males who are submissive sexually

*fetishes

ALL of these also exist in our human nature, and science just wants to rule them out so they can say "all women are this way, period". Before now, they told us that "all women naturally seek monogamy and cannot be aroused without security". Now they tell us "all women naturally become sexless within monogamy and naturally seek out new partners".

Until they actually attempt to include the bulleted items I wrote above, they still won't be able to "get it". I'm always skeptical of any "science" that automatically dismisses a large percentage of people who don't fit into their data and research.


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## loveforfamily (Mar 13, 2014)

missthelove2013 said:


> bing bing bing we have a winner
> 
> someone mentioned "less of an asshat out of the bedroom" which i totally get and it cracked me up...however, women in general are sexually attracted to bad boys...asshats if you will...despite what feminism teached us, women in general still like dominant bad boys sexually...as a "husband" you cant win


Why can't it be about a man who is a strong leader, dominant in many ways and in the ways that flatter a man AND be a compassionate party in the relationship that just simply respects the woman? I feel too often men lump themselves or others lump them into two groups....overly kind...or bad boy. I do not see the aforementioned as a bad boy, but a man being a man and one that can give and receive love, tough love and leadership.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

bla-bla-bla physico babble bull$hit!!!!!!!


how about familiarty breeds contempt! for both genders!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I thought the article was spot on, from a female heterosexual whose husband gave up his stubborn Asshattedness and digs sexual dominance.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Anon, I agree...there are many women like you. But the article suggests that ALL women are ALWAYS like you...and that cuts out a large percentage of the female population and makes THEIR preferences and desires out to be "incorrect".


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Anon, I agree...there are many women like you. But the article suggests that ALL women are ALWAYS like you...and that cuts out a large percentage of the female population and makes THEIR preferences and desires out to be "incorrect".


I have not read the article, and if it was explicitly indicated that ALL women are a certain way, then of course it is wrong. Human sexuality, both male and female are like just about anything else...standard bell curve distribution to where if you were playing the odds, finding certain desire triggers are easier than others.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It didn't explicitly state all marriages or all women. The trouble is hetero normative mass marketing, so it is implied by lack of inclusion.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Actually it DOES say that.

"But what the science shows is that our animal sexual brains crave an asymmetry of power in the bedroom. *Women’s bodies* still long to be sexually taken by a man who is capable of over-powering her with his strength, but chooses to love her. And men still crave a responsive, open lover—one who will enthusiastically follow his lead. The exquisite dance of sexual domination and submission remains an intoxicating element of love-making, in spite of our desire for equality in other aspects of life."


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I have a theory about why men think women like bad boys and not nice guys.. 

I've read countless posts by men who tolerate outrageous behavior from their wives. The problems seem to emerge from their desire to avoid conflict. They end up backing off to such a degree that they abandon all boundaries. 

They become the "nice guy" who does whatever is needed to avoid his wife's ire and to make her happy. Partners test each others boundaries to keep a temperature of the relationship. Men and women do it. 

The nice guy fails to draw a line in the sand to give his wife a sense of where where he stands. He may appear neutral even neutered. She loses confidence in him and begins to act disrespectfully. 

It's simple human relational dynamics. She does not want a bad boy, she wants the man she loves to defend his domain, to display his fitness. She wants him to show a little heat, soul and fearlessness.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> ALL of these also exist in our human nature, and science just wants to rule them out so they can say "all women are this way, period". Before now, they told us that "all women naturally seek monogamy and cannot be aroused without security". Now they tell us "all women naturally become sexless within monogamy and naturally seek out new partners".
> 
> Until they actually attempt to include the bulleted items I wrote above, they still won't be able to "get it". I'm always skeptical of any "science" that automatically dismisses a large percentage of people who don't fit into their data and research.


Are you not afraid to be seen as ignorant the way you talk about science as "science"?

George Bush imitation (Audio from Will Ferrell) - YouTube


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If I put "science" in quotes, it means I am mocking that particular "science" or that research or the conclusions derived from it.

You think I'm ignorant? OH NOOOOOO!!!!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO hurt by that!!! WAHHHH....someone I don't know or care about thinks something BAD about me.....WAHHHHH!!!!! 

snif snif

(That's sarcasm...ever heard of it?)


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

I like the part where George Bush is talking about 'facts', those things people he does not like put into 'books' coming to 'so called conclusions', which totally contradict his common sense.

Yeah...I can laugh a lot over the appreciation of 'science', but then I have to cry...


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I'd like to add one proviso to my theory - it applies to relatively normal people. Nothing will work on partners with strong characteristics of personality disorders, abusers, and the extremely suborn, etc.


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