# Can't decide to marry a girl? Feels like a bad person..?



## Yucakaca (Jun 12, 2009)

I've been dating this girl for about a year. So far we have our ups and downs and arguments, but we always get back together after disagreements. When we get along, we get along great. Recently she starts hinting for me to get real serious and tie a knot with her. I am more confused than ever. I am 35 she is 2 year older. I want a kid or two, so I cannot wait too long.

One problem is that I have my parents living in another country, and as they are growing old nobody takes care of them and I feel obliged to do it. This makes me have this feeling that I need to go back to the country where my parents stay and just live with them and take care of them. If this is what I do, then the relationship needs to end because her parents are here and she cannot leave her parents. 

So I really don't know what to do. On one hand, I can just marry this girl and live my life here in the states, on the other hand I can go back the where my parents live. It is just difficult to imagine that if I end up living here that I will not be able to be with my parents anymore. My parents live so far away it is not easy to travel there. But if I go back there. I don't know if I will like it there, or find a girl as nice as my current girlfriend, plus the fact that I am getting older everyday bothers me a bit.

Another thing too, after dating her for some time, it just feels that I will be a bad person if I break up with her. This problem is not her fault, and the relationship has gone this far partly also because of my inability to make decision. I cant imagine her disappointment if I decide to leave her.

So now I am still dating her but my mind is full of doubtful thought. I told her my problem already, but again, only me can decide.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Please do not get married b/c you would feel too guilty to say goodbye--that is a very poor reason to commit to someone. You will not be a bad person for being honest, even if it is very painful to her. It does not sound like you love this person deeply and passionately--and if you are going to marry someone, you should love them that way. If you have other responsibilities that weigh on your mind, tend to those. It must be tough to want a wife and kids but have the responsibility of your parents at your age. Good luck!


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

yeh i agree with both the above. if you have regrets now, you certainly wil later. take your time.


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