# A change in behavior



## Lost30 (May 13, 2011)

After telling him to move out or go to court. We talked. He said, he will get a lie detector whether we stay together or not. Just to prove his fidelity.
I am very surprised that he is going to do this now. Maybe due to my seriousness. I do not know. But either way, I am glad that he will prove his worthiness now. I told him not to waste money, that if he cheated, admit it. He agreed that he would not waste the cash. And if we are both willing to grant more freedom/trust then maybe this relationship is survivable. But needs work either way.
IF he is being honest with me than that is the first step. I need to see to believe after all I heard through that phone call (sounded like hard core sex session to me, but he was "pretending")
We will see
-Tammy


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Lost30, I'm glad that your husband has changed his mind. This is the time for you to figure your boundaries and what you will or will not accept. I believe that reconciliation is a huge possibility with the two of you but you should not allow him to just come and go as he pleases without firm boundaries. Your marriage has it's fair share of issues, as many others do, but what you must do is have a plan as to how you can create not only a marriage that is fulfilling for you but one that meets his needs as well. 

A great book that I would recommend would be "His Needs, Her Needs." It changed my whole outlook on marriage and helped me to see not only the errors my spouse made, but the mistakes that I made. I really think it can also help you with planning for a great future in your marriage.

I also wanted to offer a bit of advise. I notice that you have several threads going. It is much easier for me or anyone else to find you and offer advise if you stick with one thread.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

You must not ask for a polygraph then pull back, polygraph him. You have already fallen into the trap of giving him what he wants, has he admitted having sex? Even if he has you do not know how many other times he has done this. Polygraph and do not back down, this as the final verification on what he says, let him tell you his version of truth and then schedule the session.

BTW I agree stick to one thread your posts are all over the place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Do not let him bluff his way out of the polygraph. I've read many stories about wayward spouses cheerfully claiming they will do the polygraph only to back out once the betrayed spouse actually schedules it or once it's close to the appointment time. 

If you can afford it, the polygraph will really help your peace of mind.


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## Lost30 (May 13, 2011)

*polygraph friday*

So Friday at noon is the big day. Driving an hour away and paying 400$ to get the damn polygraph exam. I offered to have him admit multiple mulitple times. Even offered, counseling if he admitted and did want to try working things out for the sake of our children. And still denial, denial, denail.
Results will be in Saturday morning. I chose 4 questions, all having to do with intercourse since marriage? intercourse with men? oral sex with anyone other than wife? was he having sex with co worker when he accidentally called me?!
we will see what the results prove!
believe me, I would love to believe him. But the sounds and words I heard through my cell phone were gut wrenching, repulsing, literally I puked after. I have sleep deprivation and have lost a lot of weight in this 3 weeks. I would be a fool to take his word. I need the truth because the evidence I got that phone call was pretty damning.


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

Can't wait to hear how it goes! I wish I had some great words of encouragement, but I don't. Just hang in there, at least you know you'll have answers soon.


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## Lost30 (May 13, 2011)

Well he took the polygraph. 10 am, we got bumped up due to a cancellation. I don't know if he will pass or fail. He was crying at the beginning, not sure if it was from guilt or embarrasment. But will get the results tmrw afternoon. It will be a relief to know for sure. a $400 relief


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

$400 is a pretty small price to pay for peace of mind, either way. Glad it's over and done with, good luck!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Wish I had a nickle for every guilty subject who swore he'd take a polygraph. Most back out at the last minute. Some actually think they can beat it and fail. Their idea is that by expressing their willingness to "get on the box", you'll assume they're telling the truth and not bother. I would soooo be hooking him up and it would be a polygraph I chose, not one he shopped around for. Isn't all phone sex "pretending"? From my point of view, the only thing that separates phone sex from real sex is opportunity. The intent remains the same, the violation remains the same. He would have you believe that he was cool with describing in great detail a sex session with some other girl but if she were standing before him, naked and willing, he would demure cause he's so devoted to you?


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

I still can't believe you would want to try to work this out. Not to mention, you left a lot of room for anal which he might not see as intercourse, hand jobs,.lap dances, grinding to completion, Sexting, phone sex.

And he is a convicted rapist and you were his victim.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Lost30, results?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Wow, he is just a tad unstable. Good luck to you working on your marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

found30 said:


> Remember this is the internet,all you do is read,not know the truth.How do you know that ANYONE in here is who they say they are or telling the truth,because they say it?Well if thats the case,I AM ABE LINCOLN!!!!And im guessing that if half the people in here had a wife or husband that they actually cared about,YOU WOULDNT BE IN HERE WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO RUIN OTHER PEOPLES MARRAGE!!!!Sorry but i goota go,I HAVE A REAL LIFE THAT ISNT VIRTUAL!Turn your computers off and go for a walk,or mybe a hike,or better yet,go focus on our own failed relationship,not someone elses.WOMANS RIGHTS!!!!!POWER TO THE WOMAN!!!!MEN SUCK!!!!THEY ARE ALL PIGS!!!!!THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!just like everyone in here...


Put down the meth pipe Abe Lincoln. You ruined your own marriage with your cheating ways, and speaking of the internet, you're one to talk.  You should have thought of that before trolling the internet to hook up with other women and men. You're one of those guys that make us REAL men look bad.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Abe, heard of paragraphs before?

So you aren't a convicted rapist? You did not rape lost when she was dating someone else?
That is all most of us need to know about you.

And let's suppose you did fake sex on the phone. What kind of sick **** does that to his wife? 

Yeah. We are trying to ruin your marriage. And you are doing what to save it? Acting or maybe even being a sexually depraved person who needs psychiatric help at the very least.

I am lucky to have a 95% good marriage. What can you say about yours, Mr. Real?

Signed,

Mrs. Virtual
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

found30 said:


> Remember this is the internet,all you do is read,not know the truth.How do you know that ANYONE in here is who they say they are or telling the truth,because they say it?Well if thats the case,I AM ABE LINCOLN!!!!And im guessing that if half the people in here had a wife or husband that they actually cared about,YOU WOULDNT BE IN HERE WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO RUIN OTHER PEOPLES MARRAGE!!!!Sorry but i goota go,I HAVE A REAL LIFE THAT ISNT VIRTUAL!Turn your computers off and go for a walk,or mybe a hike,or better yet,go focus on our own failed relationship,not someone elses.WOMANS RIGHTS!!!!!POWER TO THE WOMAN!!!!MEN SUCK!!!!THEY ARE ALL PIGS!!!!!THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!just like everyone in here...



Guess he didn't pass.


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