# ED? and other stuff



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ok. So after a hellish year and a lot of work, Mrs. Conan and I have become strong again and improved in many areas.

She is more independent and stronger in every area.

Her sexual confidence, aggression and skill have really gone up.

So I am now experiencing ED?

I don't believe it is a physiological issue as I wake up with wood all the time.

I have found a couple ways around, it proving it is at least partially psychological.

Before I talk about what I am trying, has anyone had something similar happen and how did you deal with it?

This started about a month ago when things were really improving for us.

I am 46, in very good shape with no health issues.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I don't believe it is a physiological issue as I wake up with wood all the time.


Do you ever have sex with it? Can you maintain it? I have ED from a medication's side effect, so it's not just in my head. I frequently have morningwood but it rarely lasts (I do try). While I do think it's more likely psychological, don't completely rule out physical just yet.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

absolutely, i've experienced it. like you, i've always been in good shape (almost always).
no high blood pressure, no diabetes, heart conditions, et.

it's transitory, or at least in my case. and I mean going back to when i was in my thirties and forties until now.
there would be times when i could hardly get it up on my own, and then.........the week after, no problema.

now, i have not been married most of my life, and single, so it didn't matter right?
that is until i rediscovered women about 12 years ago and needed the thing to do it's job.
my g.f.'s were amazed at how good it did it's job. that is until i hit a flat spot. then, sure enough it came back.

now, i've been married 4 years to a high drive woman. the thing needs to work!
in that 4 years, it's acted up about 3 times (and i mean periods of time, not literally).
currently, i'm on my best streak ever, going on about 15 months with no problema about 3 times a week.

the solution? get yourself one of the big three (cialis, viagra, levtra), a small sample. don't use it unless you hit a flat spot.
keep it just for confidence, knowing if it happens again, you've got it. it's a sure thing.

call it non-physiological, psycological, cyclical, up-down testosterone..........whatever. 
as long as it doesn't last long, you're good to go.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

jorgegene said:


> that is until i hit a flat spot.


No pun intended! :grin2:

I'm 52 and occasionally Willy sometimes does not feel up to the task. But Willy rises to the call half heartedly. It passes and Willy gets back on his solid game. Sometimes to the point of being insatiable. I suspect you are experiencing the same.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Before I talk about what I am trying, has anyone had something similar happen and how did you deal with it?


While I have not struggled with ED, I have had issues in the past with performance anxiety. So from a psychological point of view I found it helpful to talk about that anxiety with my wife. Once you discover what might be causing you anxiety, talk to your wife about it in a nonsexual context (while eating lunch together or something) and try to discuss ways to work through that as well as understanding and knowing your wife's attitude for when a problem occurs in advance. This should help

Probably not wise to try and solve it all on your own, let her participate in the process. 

Badsanta


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

CharlieParker said:


> Do you ever have sex with it? Can you maintain it? I have ED from a medication's side effect, so it's not just in my head. I frequently have morningwood but it rarely lasts (I do try). While I do think it's more likely psychological, don't completely rule out physical just yet.


Good points. I am going to try it out. Already been discussing this with Mrs. C and she agreed to be woken at any time to try it out.

I will probably get a check up since it could be a physical problem after all.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

An example of what has happened.

We get to making out and feeling each other up.

I go to give her oral and start out hard as steel.

About a minute in, my steel turns limp.

Never happened before. Usually eating at the Y produces steel not melt it.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

It's like hitting a baseball. 

The more you think about it, the worse you perform.

And then, the worse you perform, the more you think about it....

... round and round.

Sure, a physical is a good idea, but go for the Viagra as a stopgap to help you break out of the death spiral.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Buddy400 said:


> It's like hitting a baseball.
> 
> The more you think about it, the worse you perform.
> 
> ...


Yup. Never felt insecure before and didn't like it one bit!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Ok. So after a hellish year and a lot of work, Mrs. Conan and I have become strong again and improved in many areas.
> 
> She is more independent and stronger in every area.
> 
> ...


I am 68, have low T, but am in reasonably good health. I have had temporary ED problems when my health plan changed the approved HRT brand of Testosterone. The topical applications all have different carrier chemicals that change the absorption rate. During times when the prescription was changed and my T levels plummeted to less than 100, I had trouble keeping it up. Usually, within a month I got tested and my doctor was able to bring my T-levels back into a proper range.

What I found was the a flexible C#ck Ring, is a great erection aid, for times when one needs a little extra help. The good ones are a little expensive but last a long time (and hopefully, you won't need it all the time, so you want it to last). https://www.enticeme.co/product-category/hommes-for-him/page/5/ I recommend the Tantus C-Ring. The bad word correction prevents me from directly linking to the product.

One of the scary things about being a man is that if you are lucky enough to be in a relationship and live long enough, you will probably get prostate cancer, even if you live a healthy lifestyle. It may not kill you, but there is a high chance treatment for it will likely result in some level of impotence. Luckily, I haven't gotten prostate cancer yet. So far my low T during HRT prescription adjustments has been my main ED problem....aside from perhaps a bit too much to drink on an occasional night. 

I would strongly suggest you go to a doctor and get a full physical and blood work as someone over 45 should start getting in the habit of annual physical examination.

Good luck and enjoy. Sounds like your wife is supporting you.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Should you decide on it, the pharma route is a "tell your doctor" thing and not an "ask your doctor". And if you're there anyway...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On a day your wife is not home.

Go through every one of your wife's dresser drawers, in her coat pockets in her closet. On top of things, under things.

Find the Voodoo Doll. Remove the pin that is stuck in the male dolls penis.

Better yet, stuff the doll with Viagra dust. Every time the pin goes in, the shaft gets coated with "Hard Magic".

If you find no doll at home, then it must be another women that you pissed off. 

How to get around this? Wear tin foil underwear. The bad radio-frequency signal will not get through.

When having sex, punch a small hole in the aluminum foil underwear just large enough for Peter Rabbit to poke through.

It would not hurt to coat the inside of your condom with aluminum jelly for added protection against strong waves.




Dear Potato Bugs........this is a joke!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> On a day your wife is not home.
> 
> Go through every one of your wife's dresser drawers, in her coat pockets in her closet. On top of things, under things.
> 
> ...


LOL! Thanks for the laugh! :grin2:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Never happened before. Usually eating at the Y produces steel not melt it.


Usually when someone mentions the Y they are talking about the local YMCA, so not quite sure what to make of this post except maybe that is your problem, you should be doing this stuff at home! >


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I started taking a zinc supplement to boost possible T level deficiencies and started treating Mrs. C like a fc toy.

I was as hard as ever while treating her like a cheap piece of ass.

I discovered that I have never truly just fd the hell out of her before.

I have seriously ravaged her but it was still making love.

I have also had angry sex for the first time ever. I have never been able and bring myself to do it before but sometimes it helps now.

The strange thing is she is responding very positively to getting fd instead of love making.

We still make love but we are fing a lot more often and I'm still occasionally having issues.

Going to get a check up for sure but this has got to partly be psychological.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> The strange thing is she is responding very positively to getting fd instead of love making.


This has been the most surprising thing about women that I have learned over the years.

Luckily I've been married for 27 years to a woman who will tolerate love making.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On a serious note:

The small blood vessels that pump up the giant tend to plug up as men age.
Cure: B-complex vitamins. B-6 especially...niacin converts to nitric oxide. Nitric acid in the blood stream help the blood flow. Do not take too much Niacin, only on the days needed.
L-arginine and Pycnogenol, taken together they do help. These drugs are for mild problems with ED.

There are vessel-gates that control the blood flow to Peter Rabbit. These gates are controlled by the Central Nervous System. Injuries to the spine or nerves feeding the groin could be aggravated by heavy lifts or a past accident. There are tests to check out these nerves. Good luck getting a doctor to work with you at any serious level. They usually give you a pill Rx and send you on your way. A few types of nervous system disorders can affect potency.

And remember "The Committee of Naysayers" that I have expounded on in the past. Just like congress, the body has to work in unison. All it takes is one veto from a key committee member and any hard-peter legislation goes down in flames.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> On a serious note:
> 
> The small blood vessels that pump up the giant tend to plug up as men age.
> Cure: B-complex vitamins. B-6 especially...niacin converts to nitric oxide. Nitric acid in the blood stream help the blood flow. Do not take too much Niacin, only on the days needed.
> ...


This is very interesting.

I have started having some pretty heavy pain from my injuries from a year ago and feel my very physical job has been aggravating them.

My back was injured, along with almost every other part of my body, in the crash I was in.


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> An example of what has happened.
> 
> We get to making out and feeling each other up.
> 
> ...


Are you on any meds that might list ED as a possible side-effect? Pain killers?

Does your wife enjoy giving oral? Have you tried having her reciprocate after you pleasure her? I'm sure you have, but wanted to make sure, as the down time in between (for you) could be the reason.

Also, any alcohol involved?


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Conan, this sounds almost identical to me. I am 46, and occasionally Mr. ED rears it's ugly head and soft erections will follow. My doc believes it is related to lower back injuries from hard landings during my service time. 

I have been using a Muse injectable pill when needed and it works well. Unlike oral meds, it goes directly in the area needed and works quickly.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> Conan, this sounds almost identical to me. I am 46, and occasionally Mr. ED rears it's ugly head and soft erections will follow. My doc believes it is related to lower back injuries from hard landings during my service time.
> 
> I have been using a Muse injectable pill when needed and it works well. *Unlike oral meds, it goes directly in the area needed *and works quickly.


You....you inject your pee pee?

:surprise:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jessica38 said:


> Are you on any meds that might list ED as a possible side-effect? Pain killers?
> 
> Does your wife enjoy giving oral? Have you tried having her reciprocate after you pleasure her? I'm sure you have, but wanted to make sure, as the down time in between (for you) could be the reason.
> 
> Also, any alcohol involved?


Thanks for the questions.

Mrs. C has become incredible at giving oral, we often do it simultaneously and I have actually developed this problem after cutting alcohol way back.

When I think of her as a piece of meat (I know that sounds bad) I get and stay very hard, with oral or PIV.

I am discussing it with her every step and she is totally supportive so that is reassuring but I miss the total giving to her that I was always capable of.

The new dimensions in our sexuality are fun and exciting but I don't want them to totally replace what we had.

For her part, she seems on cloud 9! LOL!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> Conan, this sounds almost identical to me. I am 46, and occasionally Mr. ED rears it's ugly head and soft erections will follow. My doc believes it is related to lower back injuries from hard landings during my service time.
> 
> I have been using a Muse injectable pill when needed and it works well. Unlike oral meds, it goes directly in the area needed and works quickly.


Thanks for the info. I will keep it but, given our age and possibly similar injuries, I am going to try some chiropractic and deep tissue massage first as well as nutrition. I might get my damn head examined while I'm at it!

P.S. Love the term. I'm stealing it!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> You....you inject your pee pee?
> 
> :surprise:


OH! HELL NO!!!:surprise:


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Jessica38 said:
> 
> 
> > Are you on any meds that might list ED as a possible side-effect? Pain killers?
> ...


Would you consider talking with a sex therapist? The issue does seem psychological...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jessica38 said:


> Would you consider talking with a sex therapist? The issue does seem psychological...


I am definitely considering that path.

I had a ton of anger and resentment towards my wife last year.

It seems strange that after things are getting better between us that this is happening.


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## Jessica38 (Feb 28, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Jessica38 said:
> 
> 
> > Would you consider talking with a sex therapist? The issue does seem psychological...
> ...


It makes sense that improvement in the marriage can unintentionally highlight the issues in the past. I think talking to a sex/intimacy therapist could really help. Maybe the issue is linked to lingering/resurfacing anger and resentment. At least you're aware of it- so important.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Fozzy said:
> 
> 
> > You....you inject your pee pee?
> ...


It's not that bad really. You insert a small tube into your urethra, push a button and the tiny pill is shot into your tube where it goes to work quickly.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Inject my unit??!!?HELL NOOO!!!! LOL!!


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> It's not that bad really. You insert a small tube into your urethra, push a button and the tiny pill is shot into your tube where it goes to work quickly.


There are also treatments that require an injection into the side of the penis. The injector is spring loaded, works quickly, and is virtually painless. There is a definite squick factor though.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

sidney2718 said:


> There are also treatments that require an injection into the side of the penis. The injector is spring loaded, works quickly, and is virtually painless. *There is a definite squick factor though*.


Yes and there are some guys of unusual tastes who will go to great lengths or pay big bucks for medical fetish sessions. 

I don't like needles. The thought of a needle or any device being pushed into and pumping stuff (pill or liquid) into my male member makes me uncomfortable. So call me, squick factor positive.

Still ED is serious stuff.....an a real issue that ads to stress in marriage.

I have been meaning to put the following link in this thread, but haven't gotten to it until now.

I would refer the reader to Table 7 on page 26 of the following PDF for the frequency of ED in various degrees by age group. The numbers are kind of shocking. Go to the following link then download the full report on PDF.

AARP Sex Survey, Divorce, Erectile Dysfunction, Sexual Habits of Boome... - AARP

Another good source of information is the following AARP article

Great Sex Without Intercourse - Older Couples, Erectile Dysfunction - AARP Ev...



> Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection. (Erections may also be less firm and more, uh, precarious.) These changes are unnerving when you first notice them — which is the same time when some men conclude, erroneously, that they've reached the twilight of their sexual careers.
> 
> Even when these mechanics and dynamics make intercourse impossible, however, sex can remain remarkably fulfilling. Despite the changes that aging invariably brings, couples open to erotic alternatives will discover that they can still attain sexual satisfaction together.
> 
> ...


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife Mary has me take Cialis.

In my youth my erections lasted an hour and longer. As mentioned in the edging thread, we have always teased a lot, and it was useful, but not really important one way or another. After all, Mary is responsive to clitoral stimulation, and not vaginal.

I suffer from migraines and high blood pressure. At the age of 50 I finally had to go on daily medications for those, because both got totally out of hand. My erections suffered. Instead of hour long rigid erections I could only sustain fifteen minutes or so. But still, it was fine because we play for a long time and that was certainly plenty long enough for me to get off at some point during the evening.

By the time I was 60 years old my medications were ramped up stronger and stronger, and the Erectile Dysfunction became a problem. It is a direct result of the medications, we assume. The medications do state it as a side effect. I have not stopped treatment to see. My blood pressure is just barely under control, and neither of us want to let it get out of control. The doctor has tried different drugs to get better control, and we are where we are. I'm essentially on a chemical pacemaker for some reason. But everything looks strong.

So I take Cialis. It works great. Mary loves it. She goes with me to the doctor appointments to make sure I select the correct dosages and keep the prescription going. She and the doctor talk about it while I just sit there, and agree with whatever Mary wants.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Inject my unit??!!?HELL NOOO!!!! LOL!!


Don't be a coward. It is painless and easy. Ladies go thru much worse for the men in their lives. And I guarantee she will appreciate the gesture!

And unlike the oral medications, you don't have to send the medication to every part of your body thru your bloodstream and risk elevated blood pressure, heart attacks, etc. Instead you only put in exactly what you need directly where you need it. And it works quickly.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Waking up to an erection does not mean you do not have a physiological problem. In fact, before I was given Viagra I was asked if that happened to me. They need to know that you are capable of getting erect or else Viagra and similar will not work for you. I buy generic Viagra from India and have been for a long time. Only $1 a pill and they work just fine. Having had the brand name at $35 a pill, the pills I buy from an online Viagra store, work just as good. Even better since I do not get a headache with the generic stuff. Ask your doc for a prescription to one pill and test it out. I went from ED to doing 3 times in one night. My wife loves when I take Viagra.

There are psychological issues that can also give you ED. Some men feel less manly with a strong dominant women. I worked with such a man. All he did was complain about how his wife gave him directions during sex and how it gave him problems getting erect. I know that it is much harder for me to get erect when my wife is putting pressure on me to do so. 

There are also medical conditions that cause ED as well as certain drugs. Antidepressants will mess you up. I have Diabetes which is causing my ED as well as side effects from my AD and other pills I take. Talk to your doctor first and try the little blue pill once to see if it works. If your wife is causing you mental issues, talk to her. I told my wife to stop asking me why I was not getting hard. She was taking it personally as if I did not find her attractive anymore. 

First step is to rule out physical issues and I repeat, at one time the doctor had to test you to make sure you could get erect by putting a roll of stamps around your penis before you went to bed and if it broke, then the insurance company and doctor would approve Viagra. All Viagra does is lower blood pressure so that blood can more easily enter the penis to make it hard. For it to work, you need to have equipment that can work. It is not like you see in the movies. It does not give you an erection. You still need to be stimulated as normal during sex. Also check any medication you are taking for side effects. I had no idea that I had diabetes until they checked me to see if any medical conditions were causing the problem. The more you do not get erect, the harder it becomes to get hard the next time.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ok. So I woke up hard as a board this morning and it stayed hard for the hour I laid in bed waiting to see if it would go down.

It didn't go limp until I got up, walked around for a while and made coffee, probably about 5 minutes.

I tried an experiment and, though I am not a porn advocate, I looked at a short amateur clip.

I got hard within two minutes.

I am going to test the morning wood with Mrs. Conan tomorrow to see how that works but it is looking like it might be at least partially psychological.

I'll update and I really appreciate all the advice.

There could be some health issues as well and I will get checked.

We did have sex twice this week, low count for us, and it was urgent, passionate fing.

Slow and tender love making doesn't seem to be on the menu.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!

Mrs. Conan and I had awesome and loving sex with no slack in the erection department!

It was awesome and I will never take it for granted again!

I just got the green light to get back in my industry yesterday and start making some good money!

I think my ed was related to my inability to provide for Mrs. Conan after I started really caring for her and falling in love with her again.

So when things were getting better between us, I was still working at a job that was way below my earning potential and it directly affected my potency in the bedroom.

Sounds pretty cliché but I guess it's true!


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

How does Mrs. C react to the ED? 

J has been experiencing intermittent ED over the last close to two years and I'm getting somewhat resentful of it. Not resentful that he has it, he's diabetic and has other issues, but resentful because he won't DO anything about it. 

The way his penis is, he can still penetrate and receive oral without being at full staff. J's "stuff" is almost always at what would be I guess half a chub for most men. Unless he's really, really tired and then the turtle is fully in its shell. So even at this state he can still achieve orgasm. Sex still feels ok for me but it's definitely not the same. He still has strong orgasms. And right before orgasm it tends to get to its full potential. 

He doesn't have trouble getting an erection so much as sustaining it. IMO as a woman it can be hard to deal with performing oral and having it go limp. Although it will come back. It's also hard to perform oral when a penis is not at full staff. It's not very easy to manipulate something that's bendy with your mouth.

I'm becoming frustrated with this - only because he won't DO anything about it. We're still both very high drive, but it's almost turning into a job for me because I feel like my main focus is on his erection.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

@LosingHim

Mrs. Conan was concerned and very supportive of me and wanted me to get a medical check done.

I am not even in the same universe as your husband though and was seriously committed to fixing the problem.

Mine only lasted about a month and a half because I was exploring everything and found it to be mostly psychological as I am in great shape.

His erection is not your problem and I hope you don't feel it is your responsibility.

His overall attitude in your relationship is the nexus of his ED and other problems.

If he won't do anything to help get himself hard, neither should you.

If he can't get it up and you have done everything you can to convince him to work on it, I would whip out a vibrator or other toy of choice and do myself while he watched or invite him to help.

Your H is too frustrating.


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

LosingHim said:


> How does Mrs. C react to the ED?
> 
> J has been experiencing intermittent ED over the last close to two years and I'm getting somewhat resentful of it. Not resentful that he has it, he's diabetic and has other issues, but resentful because he won't DO anything about it.
> 
> ...


ED definitely makes sex a lot more work, and often makes sex much more about him and his erection. I've learned a lot of tricks to manage it, but am also comfortable taking breaks, letting him just be soft .... and, of course, ensuring that any sex we have is also about me.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> An example of what has happened.
> 
> We get to making out and feeling each other up.
> 
> ...


sounds like venous leakage, i.e. not being able to keep the blood in your penis. Try slipping on one of these when you are hard, and see if it stays hard long enough to get laid. 

https://www.amazon.com/Silicone-****-Ring-Vacuum-Penis/dp/B00I3LIA6Y/ref=sr_1_95_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1492223371&sr=1-95&keywords=****+ring


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