# Lonely and Smothered.. I’m new



## MagnoliaMama (Jan 5, 2020)

Hello everyone! I’m new here, living in the US! Been married to a wonderful man for 5 years (together 7) my husband is on the spectrum which effects almost every aspect of our marriage. Sex is rare and awkward when it does happen, communication is a constant struggle and within the past year we have started working together, I’m in a near constant state of feeling both lonely and completely smothered, which I know sounds crazy, but my husband wants to be around me 100% of the time but rarely connects with me on an emotional level let alone a sexual one. Joining this community to hopefully find ways to cope as I do love him and want to make it work. 

PS: we’ve been in counseling for a year already 🤦🏻*♀


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## temet nostre (Oct 10, 2019)

Do you notice any symptoms of depression in your husband? Depression causes a lack of sexual desire and emotional absence. Your husbent may suffer from erectial disfunction too. Otherice it means that it is becaure comunication problems in your ralationship and marrage consultings should help already.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

If you have not gotten any type of resolve with the current counselor it may be time to find another.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

There are a few folks here either on the spectrum or dealing with a SO or spouse that is -- I'm sure they will chime in to help!


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

So did you know he was on the spectrum before you married him? If so, none of this should be any surprise to you. If he was like this before the marriage, there was no reason to expect him to be different once you made it official. Does your therapist advise you of coping mechinisms to deal with his issues? I dont blame you for feeling smothered, we ALL need time away from our significant others sometimes. I cant imagine having to work together... that must be maddening.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

MagnoliaMama said:


> Hello everyone! I’m new here, living in the US! Been married to a wonderful man for 5 years (together 7) my husband is on the spectrum which effects almost every aspect of our marriage. Sex is rare and awkward when it does happen, communication is a constant struggle and within the past year we have started working together, I’m in a near constant state of feeling both lonely and completely smothered, which I know sounds crazy, but my husband wants to be around me 100% of the time but rarely connects with me on an emotional level let alone a sexual one. Joining this community to hopefully find ways to cope as I do love him and want to make it work.
> 
> PS: we’ve been in counseling for a year already 🤦🏻*♀


If he's on the spectrum, you may have to tell him exactly what it is that you want from him explicitly for him to be able to do it - and even then he may not be able to do it at all.

If you've been in counselling for a year and haven't seen progress, you never will - at least with this counselor.


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