# Another debate on dating: This time..... who drives?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

On an all women's message board, there's the debate about whether a woman accept that meets the guy for the date or if she expects / requires / whatever fancy term you want here that guy pick her or somehow arranges for her transportation.

A couple of women are saying that if the guy really likes you, he will accept that that part of the date is his responsibility.

So guys, let us know, will a woman comes across as a cheap date and not worthy of serious consideration if she drives herself......

and when a woman reminds of your responsibility to provide transportation for the date, is your view of her that she's worthy reinforced?

Women can weigh in with their own experiences here.


----------



## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I can speak from my experience dating my now husband (we were in our mid 30s back then): he always picked me up and dropped me off at home. I didn't really think about it at the time, but yes, clearly he was very much into the relationship!! 

However, I'm not sure it means anything negative if the guy suggests meeting somewhere. Depends on the age also, right? When I met my ex-H, we were students and would meet at various places in the city: cinema, etc.

At mid-age, however, yes, I suppose it's a sign of gallantry for the man to pick up the woman. Arranging for her transportation seems to be a bit much, however, although it is indeed a nice gesture.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I have never had a problem with it in the past
I have always liked being driven or _chauffered_ by a woman.
Too bad my wife doesn't like to drive.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

First dates should always be meet at location for safety reasons, both genders. 

After dating awhile sharing driving is ok. Maybe depends on who is the better driver lol


----------



## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

This topic should be a poll.

When I met my wife as a poor student neither of us had a car so we never had to figure that dynamic out as singles. 

I am quite comfortable being driven by my wife nowadays. 

She tends to enjoy city driving while I prefer driving longer distances.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

When I was dating I drove myself.I felt safer that way. I really don't care how it made me look to the man I was dating.

DH and I share driving responsibilities depending on where we're going. My car has a nicer gps so if we think we might get lost,I'll drive my car. Same for long distances...my car gets better gas mileage and is more comfortable so I usually drive if we're going somewhere that's more than 30 mins away. We don't often drive the other person's car bc it's just weird driving a car you're not familiar with driving. 

My mother was always firmly against ladies driving their man around.She often criticized me for driving my husband around.She's kinda ridiculous if you ask me.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

On a first date, I'd rather meet a man somewhere, not have him pick me up. Because I don't know him and don't want him knowing where I live.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

First date or two.... meet in a public place. Either person could be a psycho and you don't want it to be easy for them to know where you live etc. 

After that I like the traditional role of picking my date up, opening her door, making sure she gets home safe etc


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I would never allow a new guy to pick me for a first or second date. Too many weirdos out there for me to want a relative stranger to know exactly where I live. And I like knowing that if a date turns bad, I can always leave and drive myself home. There's no public transportation here, so that's a comfort and a safety issue. 

I suppose I wouldn't really give much thought to the supposed importance or "meaning" behind who drives once I was in a relationship. I guess I'll deal with that when/if it happens. I drive well and I like to drive, so I don't mind doing it. I also don't mind riding with a guy who is a decent driver. It's just not an issue I see as being fraught with meaning. 

My ex-husband always drove because he's a control freak and can't stand to ride with anyone. After 18 years of rabid refusal to let me drive, he told me that he'd always resented "having" to drive everywhere. But even after that, he still wouldn't let me drive when I offered.  People are strange.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

It's always been my expereince that the woman expects to be picked up at her place and the man is responsibility for all transportation, bills, tabs etc. I thought it was always thought it would be considered cheap or unacceptable for the woman to be required to do anything much less drive herself to the date. Times have really changed haven't they? I would never have thought that women actually want to drive to the date for "safety" reasons.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I always split the tab.I'd pay the whole thing if he was willing to put out


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jb02157 said:


> It's always been my expereince that the woman expects to be picked up at her place and the man is responsibility for all transportation, bills, tabs etc. I thought it was always thought it would be considered cheap or unacceptable for the woman to be required to do anything much less drive herself to the date. Times have really changed haven't they? *I would never have thought that women actually want to drive to the date for "safety" reasons.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> Think of this. A woman has a first date with a guy that she met on the internet or it's a blind date set up. She does not know him from Adam.
> 
> ...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

jb02157 said:


> I would never have thought that women actually want to drive to the date for "safety" reasons.


Do you watch the news? Have you read the stories? The world is full of crazies. I would never let a man pick me up at my home on our first outing. HELL NO.

Saw a story a few weeks ago about a woman doing online dating who met a man online. She invited him over to her home on their FIRST date and later ended up dead. 

WHY anyone would invite a complete stranger (that you only talk to online) to their home for their first meeting is completely beyond me. Insane.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I can't even imagine getting into a vehicle with a guy I've only "met" through an online dating service! He could literally be anyone, from the future love of my life to that serial rapist the cops in the next town are just now starting to clue in on. Oh, hell no!


----------



## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Yeah, a first date doesn't know my last name, address or where I work, so definitely don't see getting into a car alone with him. In general though, I usually prefer to drive regardless of whether it's a date or just a movie with a friend. I'm frankly a terrible passenger, so I find that most of my relationships are better if I just either take my own car or drive everybody involved.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Do you watch the news? Have you read the stories? The world is full of crazies. I would never let a man pick me up at my home on our first outing. HELL NO.
> 
> Saw a story a few weeks ago about a woman doing online dating who met a man online. She invited him over to her home on their FIRST date and later ended up dead.
> 
> WHY anyone would invite a complete stranger (that you only talk to online) to their home for their first meeting is completely beyond me. Insane.


I definitely agree with you, that's why I said that it's a different world out there then when I was dating. Back then there was no internet dating, because there was no internet, no cell phones, no computers, life actually made sense back then. hehe. You actually had to TALK to a person to get to know them instead of endless texts, e-mails and that kind of garbage. I actually felt quite conflicted buying my daughter a cell phone yesterday...so what is she going to use this for??


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:scratchhead:

If a car is involved, the man has to drive - tis a cultural rule no? 



> So guys, let us know, will a woman comes across as a cheap date and not worthy of serious consideration if she drives herself......


Actually I would consider her independent and find that attractive.



> and when a woman reminds of your responsibility to provide transportation for the date, is your view of her that she's worthy reinforced?


She's worthy because she wants me to drive her around? 
What?

Personally I would just consider her "typical", no positive or negative feelings but I don't see how she would impress me simply by going "you drive"


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

For a time when I was younger and dating I did not own a car or drive yet I dated quite a number of women of which most owned cars and had no problem picking me up. Despite that, I enjoyed lots of frequent and regular sex through all of my dating years.

Again, who cares who drives?


----------

