# Is it bad that I used the wedding money to buy a few toys?!



## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

We are a newlywed couple...about 3 weeks now. We had a big wedding of about 200-220 people. We ended up getting a number of gifts including a good some of money. Now, as the guy, I honestly felt that I got "ripped off" and really did not get any gifts that I consider to be cool for a guy, etc. So bottom line, was it wrong for me to use the wedding money to buy a new recliner for us?


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

A good "toy" for a newlywed man to buy with a couple's money from the wedding would be a love seat to sit in with your NEW wife and watch TV. (A love seat is to cuddle in with her, they have some GREAT ones these days!! Leather and soft and comfy...)

Buying a _recliner_ that seats only ONE person is a no-no at this point in your wedded bliss...unless you intend to sit watching TV with her on your LAP for the next 3 years.

YOU will make MAJOR brownie points if YOU suggest a love seat. Recliners are for "man caves"! aka your den.

Wait until your tenth anniversary then buy yourself a recliner, if you buy a love seat right now you _might_ make it to ten years.


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## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

we have a small condo...we already have a couch in there that we snuggle in. I wanted a recliner so I can sit down in comfort and enjoy my sports. actually it turns out she likes it more than I do and she sits on it more than me (we just got it last night).



Sandy55 said:


> A good "toy" for a newlywed man to buy with a couple's money from the wedding would be a love seat to sit in with your NEW wife and watch TV. (A love seat is to cuddle in with her, they have some GREAT ones these days!! Leather and soft and comfy...)
> 
> Buying a _recliner_ that seats only ONE person is a no-no at this point in your wedded bliss...unless you intend to sit watching TV with her on your LAP for the next 3 years.
> 
> ...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Really not enough information. It appears she likes the purchase, but was she pissed about the decision? Assumably, you made it without consulting her?


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## Mr. R (May 5, 2009)

For God's sake, it's FURNITURE! She can use it, too. I don't understand what a woman's problem with this would be. It belongs to both of them; it's furniture in their home. What a petty matter to be on about when (being newlyweds), one would think that other activities ("wink") would be taking up your time.

In fact, I and my wife once had a recliner (it has since broke and I refuse to pay the outrageous prices I see to replace it). My wife used it more than I did, as I preferred to stretch out on the sofa.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

HEy I am all for the recliner, you can both share it, just make sure she is wearing a miniskirt and straddles you! :smthumbup:

we've had some good times on our recliner, that my WIFE BOUGHT! 

Seriously discuss it with your wife, just tell her you would liek to buy a recliner to watch TV in, what's the big deal.


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

I've learned over the years that most financial decisions really need to be discussed with your spouse. I've made some poor decisions in the past (buying large things without consulting her) and it created a lot of resentment.

That money was a gift for the both of you to start your life together, build a home, pay some bills, go on a honeymoon, whatever you decide. If she's fine with it, great but IMO you both should be deciding what to do with it. How okay would you be if she went out and spent 1/2 of it on new dishes or bedding or something like that without talking to you? Just put yourself in her shoes and that probably tells you what you need to know.


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## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

well if you must know the whole story....it all began probably because she wanted to complete the set of everyday dishes we did not get on our registry from a fancy type of boutique type store. she thought it would be a waste to just get some of them and not complete the set. in any event, the cost was extremely high and I really did not want to buy the everyday dishes from that store. I honestly wanted to get them at places like Target and pay much less,etc. Than the talk went to the topic of "if you use the wedding money and spend a lot on the everyday dishes, than I will use some of the wedding money myself and get a few "toys" I would enjoy more as a man." so the talk escalated to a recliner or a Plasma HD TV, etc. We both decided on the recliner....so there you have it.




Deejo said:


> Really not enough information. It appears she likes the purchase, but was she pissed about the decision? Assumably, you made it without consulting her?


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Sounds to me like the problem's already been resolved when you say we "both" decided on the recliner...however you being here means you arne't satisfied w/the result of the issue at hand.

Comes down to this...I'm not a big buy a huge set of expensive everyday dishes fan either. My everyday dishes are Correll Ware or w/e it's called. Anyway, a wedding and it's gifts tend generally to be gifts for which to furnish a house. Now if you consider those "womanly" things so be it. But I'm betting you need silverware, bedding, a toaster and some towels for your everyday upkeep as well. 

You don't see too many women getting makeup and coach bags at weddings so honestly there's really no sense in complaining about not getting manly things at your wedding such as a recliner, HD TV etc.

Plain and simple talk about how to use the money together don't now or ever just run out and buy something that's $300-1k w/o speaking to your wife unless you've secretly been setting aside money to purchase something specifically FOR your wife. She inturn shouldn't ever make purchases of the sort w/o your input either.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You compromised - which is great, and really shouldn't be a problem at all. Unless of course you really wanted the plasma tv ...


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

---I don't understand what a woman's problem with this would be.---

Seriously? You don't? Its not obvious? Here is a nice buffet of reasons -- feel free to sample all offerings and take some home.

- That was OUR money, and you bought something for YOURSELF!
- You should have consulted me.
- We have been married only a few weeks and already you are sneaking around.
- What ELSE are you lying about?
- We didn't "need" that.


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## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

I hope you guys dont think that when I said "Is it bad that I used the wedding money to buy a few toys?!" that I actually acted alone w/o consulting my wife or talking with her about it, etc.




Chopblock said:


> ---I don't understand what a woman's problem with this would be.---
> 
> Seriously? You don't? Its not obvious? Here is a nice buffet of reasons -- feel free to sample all offerings and take some home.
> 
> ...


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

qdobajoe said:


> I hope you guys dont think that when I said "Is it bad that I used the wedding money to buy a few toys?!" that I actually acted alone w/o consulting my wife or talking with her about it, etc.


Please don't take this rudely but I'm quite confused as to what actually your point of this post is then. If you spoke w/your wife and the two of you came to the compromise of purchasing the recliner together then what exactly is the issue???

Do you feel "jipped" still? Did you not really compromise and just give in? Was it something else that you really wanted as opposed to what you purchased? :scratchhead:


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## Lavender (May 14, 2008)

:scratchhead:Im confused on this one as well? 
The original question of "Is it Bad that I used the wedding $ to buy a few toys? ... that comment would insinuate something diffrent than a joint pre dicussed recliner purchase..... 

You said few Toys are there some purchases you made that you are leaving out on the description here? If you discussed with your wife the sale of the chair and she was Ok with it then whats the point of the original post question??? Confused here ....


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## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

Rhea said:


> Please don't take this rudely but I'm quite confused as to what actually your point of this post is then. If you spoke w/your wife and the two of you came to the compromise of purchasing the recliner together then what exactly is the issue???
> 
> Do you feel "jipped" still? Did you not really compromise and just give in? Was it something else that you really wanted as opposed to what you purchased? :scratchhead:


well actually the whole thing started out when my wife wanted to buy and complete the everyday dishes at the boutique store we began the registry at. we did not get all the dishes on the registry and my wife wanted to get it at that store and I was against it because it was going to cost hundreds of dollars. than the whole talk about what "toys" I'm going to get because she is buying those dishes. Well, I began thinking about a BIG screen TV, Vacuum cleaner, new cell phone, etc. etc. etc. That is when her sister stepped in and began telling us to not buy "stupid stuff" and that is how the whole mess got started with me getting annoyed at her sister. my wife finally gave in and let me get my recliner and now we are both happy. actually my wife is very happy because she loves the new recliner


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## qdobajoe (Jun 14, 2009)

Lavender said:


> :scratchhead:Im confused on this one as well?
> The original question of "Is it Bad that I used the wedding $ to buy a few toys? ... that comment would insinuate something diffrent than a joint pre dicussed recliner purchase.....
> 
> You said few Toys are there some purchases you made that you are leaving out on the description here? If you discussed with your wife the sale of the chair and she was Ok with it then whats the point of the original post question??? Confused here ....


yes my original question still stands. because my SIL thinks of recliners, HD tv's, cell phones, etc. as being "toy" types that do not need to be bought using wedding present money.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Who cares what your SIL thinks? Unless she's the one that gave the money and specified it as a down payment on a house, who gives a flying crap about what she thinks about how you and your wife spend your money?


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

Chopblock said:


> ---I don't understand what a woman's problem with this would be.---
> 
> Seriously? You don't? Its not obvious? Here is a nice buffet of reasons -- feel free to sample all offerings and take some home.
> 
> ...


If that is how anyone's wife reacts to you buying furniture for your home I have only one word for you.


Annulment. 



No one needs to go through life like THAT.




John


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

qdobajoe said:


> We are a newlywed couple...about 3 weeks now. We had a big wedding of about 200-220 people. We ended up getting a number of gifts including a good some of money. Now, as the guy, I honestly felt that I got "ripped off" and really did not get any gifts that I consider to be cool for a guy, etc. So bottom line, was it wrong for me to use the wedding money to buy a new recliner for us?



Dude, honestly when I read the title of the thread I had much higher hopes for what you meant when you said "toys." Which, imo, you would have been better going the way I thought went, then the way you actually did with the furniture. Course, your recently married...the toys and other marital happiness devices can wait 3 or 4 years.



John


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

NothingMan said:


> If that is how anyone's wife reacts to you buying furniture for your home I have only one word for you.
> 
> 
> Annulment.
> ...


Seriously, you would be so disinclined to consult your wife before a purchase like that, you would rather not be married? Geez.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

Oh it's not about consulting. Of course I would run it by her. But, in the instance that I didnt and she reacted like that? Yes, I would have serious issues with it. I refuse to be treated like a kid who forgot his homework in class. I wont be yelled at, belittled, chastised, told what to do, disrespected, berated in front of anyone. I dont put up with any of that **** and neither should anyone else.

That short into a marriage and thats the reaction he gets? Good god, stand up now or forever be under the heel of a controlling woman...and good luck with that.



John


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Our wedding money.. I bought a 36' color TV


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

NothingMan said:


> Oh it's not about consulting. Of course I would run it by her. But, in the instance that I didnt and she reacted like that? Yes, I would have serious issues with it. I refuse to be treated like a kid who forgot his homework in class. I wont be yelled at, belittled, chastised, told what to do, disrespected, berated in front of anyone. I dont put up with any of that **** and neither should anyone else.
> 
> That short into a marriage and thats the reaction he gets? Good god, stand up now or forever be under the heel of a controlling woman...and good luck with that.
> 
> ...


Okay. 

Personally, the thought of a recliner suddenly being a fixture in our living room makes me cringe (barring an unexpected affinity for Herman Miller by my H). So, I guess my reasons for objecting are almost completely different than those you're responding to.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

nightshade said:


> Okay.
> 
> Personally, the thought of a recliner suddenly being a fixture in our living room makes me cringe (barring an unexpected affinity for Herman Miller by my H). So, I guess my reasons for objecting are almost completely different than those you're responding to.


LoL. Im the first to admit that I know nothing of matching decor I just know what I like, close my eyes and hope it matches


John


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