# Recently separated and divorcing for the second time. I guess I'll never learn?



## annamazzarisi84

Hello all!

Exactly as the title says, however, this second divorce is incredibly intense. I married a child predator! How fun (sarcasm). I am going through it worse this time for obvious reasons. I am traumatized (for obvious reasons). I literally cannot wait for therapy for me and my son. 

Haven't been on a forum in a few so I will add more to this post later. For now:

Stats:
Age - 37
Sex - F
Location - Buffalo, New York
Occupation - Counselor
Divorce - Working on #2
Drink count - numerous


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## Rob_1

Oh my god! as the father of two girls, I don't know if I could refrain myself from taking the law into my own hands if some MF pervert predator would do anything to either of them. I hope that you come alright mentally and, emotionally from this. You need to maintain a strong stance for your child. So sorry. Wishing you the best.


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## DownByTheRiver

Well I hope the new year is better for you. Feel free to get it all off your chest.


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## jonty30

annamazzarisi84 said:


> Hello all!
> 
> Exactly as the title says, however, this second divorce is incredibly intense. I married a child predator! How fun (sarcasm). I am going through it worse this time for obvious reasons. I am traumatized (for obvious reasons). I literally cannot wait for therapy for me and my son.
> 
> Haven't been on a forum in a few so I will add more to this post later. For now:
> 
> Stats:
> Age - 37
> Sex - F
> Location - Buffalo, New York
> Occupation - Counselor
> Divorce - Working on #2
> Drink count - numerous


I'm sorry for your experience and your son's trauma.
I would probably get counselling to see what qualities that they had that attracted you to them that allowed them to get close to your son.
I'm not saying that you were unusually vulnerable, but it's good to try and determine that just for self-care.
Rosenbaum, the douche taken out by Rittenhouse had managed to get past the defense of 5 mothers to get after their kids, so there may be something within yourself that makes you vulnerable to predators.

In the future, I can only suggest that your kid never be alone with strange men for more than a couple of minutes.
An understanding man would accept that.


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## Diana7

jonty30 said:


> I'm sorry for your experience and your son's trauma.
> I would probably get counselling to see what qualities that they had that attracted you to them that allowed them to get close to your son.
> I'm not saying that you were unusually vulnerable, but it's good to try and determine that just for self-care.
> Rosenbaum, the douche taken out by Rittenhouse had managed to get past the defense of 5 mothers to get after their kids, so there may be something within yourself that makes you vulnerable to predators.
> 
> In the future, I can only suggest that your kid never be alone with strange men for more than a couple of minutes.
> An understanding man would accept that.


Child abusers appear no different from anyone else except that they are sexually attracted to children. They come from all walks of life and it's not about being vulnerable to them. 
People have this idea that child abusers are easy to spot and that only vulnerable people would date/marry them. That's just not true. Most people who know them would have no idea of their sexual attraction to children.

Op there is child sexual abuse in my family and I feel for you. Has he been charged for this? How old is your son?


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## jonty30

Diana7 said:


> Child abusers appear no different from anyone else except that they are sexually attracted to children. They come from all walks of life and it's not about being vulnerable to them.
> People have this idea that child abusers are easy to spot and that only vulnerable people would date/marry them. That's just not true. Most people who know them would have no idea of their sexual attraction to children.


I know, but there are qualities they look for to find vulnerable people who would allow access to their children. 
I'm not blaming her per se, just that she should try and find out what made her a target, so she can close that access point.


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## Mr.Married

Really sorry to hear about your situation. It doesn’t get much worse than that. The good thing about this place is you can just vent away to a bunch of strangers and get it all out. Putting it out there in the open and unloading can lighten up that mental weight.


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## maquiscat

annamazzarisi84 said:


> Hello all!
> 
> Exactly as the title says, however, this second divorce is incredibly intense. I married a child predator! How fun (sarcasm). I am going through it worse this time for obvious reasons. I am traumatized (for obvious reasons). I literally cannot wait for therapy for me and my son.
> 
> Haven't been on a forum in a few so I will add more to this post later. For now:
> 
> Stats:
> Age - 37
> Sex - F
> Location - Buffalo, New York
> Occupation - Counselor
> Divorce - Working on #2
> Drink count - numerous


If this is only your second divorce, then it isn't an issue of whether you'll never learn. Unless you are going to try to claim a lot more in the way of failed relationships from abusive men, of one sort or another, beyond your two marriages. As noted by others, child abusers are not easy to spot, sexual or otherwise. You now have more data, and experience, to help you avoid such men in the future.


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