# Remorse vs Desperation



## sayjellybeans (Jun 25, 2012)

I don't know why, but today I'm struggling to be calm and strong. H (BS) is on iphone all day, making sure I can't see what he's doing. Lately, I've been able to shrug it off, it's his prerogative to have private dealings. I'm sure that it's mostly scrabble, instagram, FB, and such, but his cutting me off from his life is just hitting me wrong today and it's interfering with me being patient and understanding. I'm afraid that anything I've built up will be undermined by my "weirdness." And knowing me, this will come up again.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, your "weirdness" is also the fact that you are a human being with feelings. If you choose not to act on those feelings, that's a wise and mature choice, but I don't think you need to dismiss them to yourself as somehow wrong or mistaken or weird.

And holidays are always hard, even holidays like this one that don't necessarily have all the fraught family feelings of, say, Christmas. Hang in there!


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

When every MH is on the phone texting or something I say really, he knows I get mad now, there are days I just want to smash it still.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Observe him. Observe yourself as well - for "weirdness".
Take care.


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## sayjellybeans (Jun 25, 2012)

AngryandUsed said:


> Observe him. Observe yourself as well - for "weirdness".
> Take care.


To what end?


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Till you come to objective, evidenced conclusion.


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## sayjellybeans (Jun 25, 2012)

To observe. That's what I try to do, in between the feelings of sadness and anxiety. Hopefully soon, those feelings will dissipate, or I will cope with them better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sayjellybeans (Jun 25, 2012)

New post in private section.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## forlorn99 (May 20, 2012)

I would have a discussion with your spouse. If you are trying to R then the complete transparency should be there on both sides not just yours. I have given my wife access to everything (all passwords facebook email etc) If you are not hiding anything or doing things that you dont want the other to see who cares if they have your passwords.


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