# Filed today



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Had 2nd meeting with Lawyer and went over all and I pulled the trigger and filed. I'm reading Maxtor's story and there will be 60 days for her to convince me otherwise but I believe D is the road 
I must travel. My intention was to have everything ready to file and then confront her this sunday well instead now the attorney said stay undercover til she gets served it doesn't do any good before. And it did make more sense when we discussed all the possibilities.
Serial cheater and all he was right doesn't serve me to tip her off in advance. Since she has her father with her and he works they will do okay as a team and she may even have to pay me support, though that's hard to believe but atleast I'm filing first. My main issue is international flight I filed to get the emergency restraining order in place so that she can't without severe consequences.
if I get primary joint conservator. I feel kind of numb now sign here sign there and I was thinking I was going to be leaving the bizarro world of playing my prediscovery self but I'm not I'm staying a bit longer. Well "the future is uncertain but certainly slight" INXS


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Now I've entered a new part of bizzaro world of there's a timebomb on the way for her-- and then for me my Confrontation Day will be started by a process server instead of me.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Blindasabat said:


> My main issue is international flight I filed to get the emergency restraining order in place so that she can't without severe consequences.


When will you know if the emergency RO has been approved?

If she tries to leave the country with your child, and she gets caught, her permanent residency visa can be revoked making her subject to possible and immediate deportation.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Since it was friday it will be filed monday probably take to or three weeks. She is a citizen. Her father is Resident. The lawyer said having worked so hard to be here why would they throw ot a way? Because they don't value it like they should they love their country and have so much family there and love the party lifestyle culture there.
Later I was having a bit of buyers remorse like " what have I done?" 
Then last night we got into a major fight in front of our daughter she was suddenly hysterical and says that our daughter gives more respect to me then to her she was crying yelling "stay with your father then I'm leaving the house this weekend and you can stay with your father!" just crazy ah.. stuff like that I tried calming her down said I never have tried to make our daughter not give her equal respect but no avail. Pissed me off that she really upset my daughter she was crying and afraid all night. Oh God help us. I did the right thing in filing now I'm as I have been worried how it will effect my daughter. I have stayed in a bizarre limbo for her but its getting more and more toxic. It makes me crazy I did love her I actually had a dream last night where I said to her in spanish
we could have had a happy marriage but you wouldn't let us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

does she know you filed or are you waiting until she gets served?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Blindasabat said:


> Then last night we got into a major fight in front of our daughter she was suddenly hysterical and says that our daughter gives more respect to me then to her she was crying yelling "stay with your father then I'm leaving the house this weekend and you can stay with your father!" just crazy ah.. stuff like that I tried calming her down said I never have tried to make our daughter not give her equal respect but no avail. Pissed me off that she really upset my daughter she was crying and afraid all night. Oh God help us.


What a selfish jerk your stbxw is to treat her daughter in such way. Hopefully your stbxw will leave for good this weekend so you can then request a temporary custody order. This way you improve your chances of obtaining permanent custody of your daughter. Leaving the marital home by one spouse is most often considered abandonment by the court.

Your daughter may be young but she's not stupid. She knows which parent she can rely on and that parent is you. Her mother has been so busy partying up like a single girl, that she has practically abandoned her.

Since you've got 2 marriages in which both wives were unfaithful, you may want to consider seeking professional counseling to find out why you are powerfully attracted to thoughtless and selfish women. The last thing you need is to become involved with another clone of your two ex-wives.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Waiting till served my plan was do a 2nd free -ha! Consultation and have everything in place to file and confront her this weekend on the cheating
but after talking for two hours and showing all the emails I had I decided to file and wait
till she served then we will talk about it. Oh boy, I asked if I can be notified the day she gets served. They would, that is going to be a fun day!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

in the first marriage there wasn't infidelity it was very different we had six good years then we moved around to different states wound up in Texas and there were a whole lot of problems in the last four years we had-- it would be a thread to itself but there wasn't infidelity in that one. But facing the big D for the 2nd time truly sucks!!! My parents passed 50 years together I really wanted to get it right this time. Frick!! I don't know what the future holds but my track record sucks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I stand corrected.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

The attorney asked who is the primary care giver? I didn't pause or think I said I am - I really am though I know she will try to say she is, but I would rather spend time with my daughter than anything else. The W would rather be out having fun " en la calle" in the street drinking, dancing and ect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Well soon enough she'll find herself 'en la calle' for good.


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## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

> having fun " en la calle" in the street drinking, dancing and ect.


Hey Blind, I'm Latino so when you said that I remembered when my buddy referred to his wife as "_una callejera_(a hood rat)" for the same reasons. HA!


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Wife was depressed today she said my daughter broke her heart by not minding her. I said I agree she needs to respect both of us and we need to work on this. I also said she needs to get control of her temper --Typical explosive latina. Later in the day she says she wants us to work and give it another opportunity ay yi yi! Reading maxtors thread who I give an A for how to conduct yourself
I have been trying to be a friend to her and not a jerk. I hope to have a future co parent and if possible a friend my first ex and I have a very cold relationship and only communicate through email. She asked do you love me? Ugg I'm being tortured I said "a little"joking and asked if she loved me she said yes. I can't get into these things becuase the cheating hasn't been brought out I don't know enough about "the fog" to know if she is coming out or feeling remorse or truly wants to "work" on the marriage? I am going deeper and deeper into bizarro world. Also I felt bad for her last night though she can be a ***** on wheels I hate seeing a woman cry it hurts and makes me feel like a jerk even though I didn't do anything. My emotions are getting a new trashing I thought I didn't love her today I'm confused as hell but then I remember what she has done I don't have images but its enough to know she was in Multible EA/PA. 
Also I was checking myself and asked my daughter have I ever said anything negative about mom? She said no I said did I ever ask you not to tell mom something? She said no - part of last nights eruption was me calling her on trying to keep a secret with my daughter. Then my daughter tried to tell me about my W had kissed one of the OMen on the lips she must have felt wrong keeping my wife's secret. I stopped her said lets talk about that another time becuase I don't want ot going back to my wife ugg and I've been preaching honesty lately. but its something for my attorney that she involved my daughter inthe cheating !!! My emptions are like a tennis ball I went from compassion to that really ticks me off!!!!!! And may make her cheating relevant to the custody decision extremely stupid on her part
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Her gut may be detecting a change in you and she is reacting to that,she may sense that the ship is sailing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

JustaJerk said:


> Hey Blind, I'm Latino so when you said that I remembered when my buddy referred to his wife as "_una callejera_(a hood rat)" for the same reasons. HA!


I understand the term as a woman of the streets. I'm losing my religion around mi suegro ( father in law) I helped bring him here to help my wife and does help out but is also a 100 % apologist for my wife never sides with me and I have driven him to work to the doctors ectera. he is an uneducated simple person can't figure the diswasher out (like ozzy)after two years! I see him and I'm thinking bobo! Which if I understand it is like a soft term for idiot
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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

Excuse me - maybe you have another thread and I missed it. 

You're filing for divorce and you haven't discussed it with your STBXW at all, or told her you think she's been cheating, or anything? Nada? 

She sounds like a piece of work; but you really didn't want to tak to her at all, before serving the papers? How's that going to work, exactly?

Sorry, just wondering.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

With all due respect to the old coot - it takes one to know one - I would refer to him as "viejo pendejo".


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

I_Will_Survive said:


> Excuse me - maybe you have another thread and I missed it.
> 
> You're filing for divorce and you haven't discussed it with your STBXW at all, or told her you think she's been cheating, or anything? Nada?
> 
> ...


read iphone and facebook destroyed my marraige in my sig I don't know why but my d day was when I was hour a way from her and my daughter coming home for some reason I didn't do the typical confrontation something said go underground learn wait be smart if you've seen Carlito's Way - vintage Pacino! 
"i was angling like crazy" i went to see an attorney that week and decidedwhat I wanted and what was best, the marriage had been rocky before I knew what was going on 
now I'm keeping the advantage. i had planned to confront her tomorow sunday but the attorney advised me to wait til she us served so not to tip her off and allow her to do something prior to RO's
yes I am living a crazy existence but not for long.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I_Will_Survive (Oct 28, 2011)

Blindasabat said:


> yes I am living a crazy existence but not for long.


Wow. I know how that feels, to know something and not be able to be open about what you are feeling. Best of luck to you.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

morituri said:


> With all due respect to the old coot - it takes one to know one - I would refer to him as "viejo pendejo".


He certainly was being one the night of the fight listening at the door like he had protect her ha! If anybody needs protecting its me. She told him to go several times to go no metes - don't get involved- he stayed finally I said "vete" meaning Go! I should have used the more offensive Largete! Get the hell out, he grumbled no cuentes conmigo -- don't count on me -- as if I do he needs me for rides which soon she will be working his transport out as he doesn't drive and at 63 not a good time to start. the next day I pick him up from work and its the same ol "como te fue hoy?" how was your day crap ugg.
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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Have you read Let Them Go? -- the link can be found in morituri's posts in his signature. It should help you.

Also, is it possible for you to step out of the house once in a while? Say, go to the gym and workout? Little things like this will allow you to work on yourself and distract you briefly from your situation.


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