# I don't want Christmas this year



## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Usually at Christmas, WH puts up lights, cuts a huge tree, I decorate windows and the power goes through the roof.

We dress up on Christmas Eve and all the local kids come and visit and we hand out lolly bags and have Christmas songs blaring.
Christmas morning I have the kids here and I've usually spent a fortune and its a morning of love, surprises and laughter.

Then we would go to my mums and the whole family would be there, including my posSIL/OW, nephews, brother-but not this year, I guess.


I was getting food for dinner yesterday and past the wall of decorations and actually stopped dead in my tracks and could barely hold it together.

How do you get out of this headspace?

This year.. I don't even have the finances to do what we would normally do.

I've been strong- pretty much- it's just that everything that was me and us is gone...and the house will be gone too.

I've written lists of goals I want to focus on. BUt the whole holiday is charging at me as a reminder of what isnt anymore.

ach...sorry....being a sook about this. 

I just want it to go away really.


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## GuDe (Nov 14, 2012)

I'm right there with you. Christmas, and more broadly, Winter, was basically a definition of our relationship. 

For us, Christmas was not the reason to look forward to winter, it was because our anniversary was the 11th. And all of winter was our relationship. The weather, the feelings, the lights, all that stuff.

This year...IDK what I'm gonna do


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

GuDe said:


> I'm right there with you. Christmas, and more broadly, Winter, was basically a definition of our relationship.
> 
> For us, Christmas was not the reason to look forward to winter, it was because our anniversary was the 11th. And all of winter was our relationship. The weather, the feelings, the lights, all that stuff.
> 
> This year...IDK what I'm gonna do


I'm hearing you ...really hard this one. 
sux


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## Standing_Firm (Mar 20, 2012)

I will be spending Christmas alone this year. First time in 20 years!!!


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## GuDe (Nov 14, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> I'm hearing you ...really hard this one.
> sux


Yep.

It's not even about the Christmas. Holidays aren't so bad in general. It's all of Winter that's really gonna blow.


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## lostinspaces (Oct 22, 2012)

Ach ... Had been trying not to think of this. I'll be alone for Thanksgiving for sure but I think I'll try to fly to see my family this Christmas.

I'm sure that will be good in some way .... But I have a feeling I won't be a whole lot of fun. 

I just want to hit the reset button on life and get a do-over. How could I have wasted so much of my life with someone who could "fall out of love" without saying a word or even trying. Good job me :smthumbup:

I recommend everyone here make every effort to be near family for Christmas. I doubt it will help much, but being alone sounds horrible.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My kids and I are making cookies and calling it good. It's not worth the expense or trouble to do anything more than that. We're Quaker and will go to a Carol sing and there will be lights on in the sconces in our meeting house, which doesn't have electricity. Maybe afterwards we'll go outside and look at the stars, if the weather is good.

You don't have to explain not doing anything. It's a religious holiday. You can celebrate it however you feel you have to. Honestly, it's the Birth of Christ, not an affirmation of everything being perfect in your life.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Last year was my first Christmas away from my wife. It was horrible. I often wondered, since then, if I was able, what would it be like to go somewhere and do things which have nothing to do with Christmas? I would like to try that someday.


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

Once, come to America and spend the holidays with me and my kids. They are older but still fun. We can hang out talk about how sorry our. Exs are. And tell bad jokes and get drunk. Lol


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Thank Goodness it's only one day and there is rum and eggnog to be had!


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

what really has saved me so many years in my life is to reach out. my workplace adopts a family or veterans or foster kids each Christmas, and one of my best friends and i take the cash donations, go over all the sale ads and do the shopping and gift wrapping. we still get the fun of buying gifts, we challenge ourselves to get the most we can for our donations, and most of all, we know we're helping some people to have better holidays. starting several years ago, when stbxh was first out of work, i started making homemade treats for our family instead of the gifts we used to be able to give. i like cooking and baking, so i throw myself into doing it for more extended family. i think there are a couple of key things that help at the holidays:
1. Stay busy. Don't allow yourself chances to think too much.
2. Reach out to others, whether it's close or extended family, or strangers in need.
3. Create new traditions or rituals. Last year, instead of listening to all the music we listened to for years, I downloaded all new stuff - funk, motown & r&b, to be exact. Discovered some awesome stuff!

It's going to be a while til you start to get over this, especially since they only come once a year - there aren't as many opportunities for the pain to lessen. But, we do have some choices we can make to get through the next few months.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

A good movie solves a lot of problems. After that, a long walk. Followed by a nap. Followed by cleaning the bathroom. It's difficult to feel bad when your bathroom is clean. I used to pass the time cleaning all of my major appliances. I'm not big on holidays, I usually just keep myself happily occupied until everyone is back to normal again.


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

The holidays are my favorite time of year. Me and hubby are seperated and I am not sure how the holidays are going to play out. I am going to make it a good one for my girls not matter what.


I am going to try to stay busy and just love on my girls.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

If you are on your own, try volunteering at a homeless shelter lunch or similar. Nothing like helping others to lift you out of funk.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

XAngel, there's going to be a lot of suck this holiday season for obvious reasons. It'll be worst the more you fight it. When you feel bad give yourself to have a fit or bawl or scream at the injustice of it all and then once you've vented work on plodding forward again.

It's important that instead of denying your love of Christmas that you supplant the old things you did with new memories, new rituals and new friends. The only trap is if you try to replicate the past. In fact, that bit of advice is applicable across the spectrum. Move forward.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Can't believe it's over said:


> Once, come to America and spend the holidays with me and my kids. They are older but still fun. We can hang out talk about how sorry our. Exs are. And tell bad jokes and get drunk. Lol


honey.....when this house sells..... (which got some serious work on it today! yay)
im buying a Harley and a plane ticket ....




see...it's beautiful souls like yr self who bring me a smile again..

mwahs x


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

Yeah. Christmas was always big for us. I've never spent Christmas without my family. We've always had some form of get together. 

Last year was the first time my wife and I spent Christmas eve night and Christmas morning together alone. WITHOUT being at my mom's. Blow up at Thanksgiving with my bro. lead to that one. 

We ended up at mom's anyways Christmas afternoon. 

I believe that I'll be spending all 3 holidays alone. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve (always did something at mom's) this year. 

Thanksgiving morning and early afternoon are free for my wife but I don't know what she's going to want to do. Christmas is a bit away and I don't know, but right now the STBXW is putting in a lot of hours at 2 different locations that will not shut down for holidays. 

Gonna be hard.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Dewayne76 said:


> Yeah. Christmas was always big for us. I've never spent Christmas without my family. We've always had some form of get together.
> 
> Last year was the first time my wife and I spent Christmas eve night and Christmas morning together alone. WITHOUT being at my mom's. Blow up at Thanksgiving with my bro. lead to that one.
> 
> ...




Have you got close friends that you could go to?

Cause that sucks


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Once,

You can customize and save your choices on the site. It will give you cost estimates and everything. You can plan trips and save them. There are quite a few things you can do on this site. I'm betting you will enjoy it.

Don't know if you have ridden before but, the state I live in has a free rider course. The cost is absorbed over the years in the extra fees for your license and registration for your motorcycle. Harley also has courses but, I don't know if they are free. Then, practice, practice, practice and enjoy.


Harley-Davidson USA | Harley-Davidson USA


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## Dewayne76 (Sep 26, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> Have you got close friends that you could go to?
> 
> Cause that sucks


No, not really. Only have 2 good friends I trust anymore and both are going to be out of town.

I'll be fine


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Once,
> 
> You can customize and save your choices on the site. It will give you cost estimates and everything. You can plan trips and save them. There are quite a few things you can do on this site. I'm betting you will enjoy it.
> 
> ...


Ive been riding for about seven years 

I have a v-star. But Im buying and 883 harley when all the mess is done. 

but ty ... very kind


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

Dewayne76 said:


> No, not really. Only have 2 good friends I trust anymore and both are going to be out of town.
> 
> I'll be fine


yes, yes you will indeed


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

You might find a softail more comfortable. Sportsters are a little tough on the body.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> You might find a softail more comfortable. Sportsters are a little tough on the body.



Ahh.. I know Ive been circling that.... geesh.. Ill be a big girl then wont I ?


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

this will be my first Xmas without the ex and I can't wait - I'm lucky my family decided to hire a barn and have Xmas all together this year. They did it just after I split with him and I know it's because they were worried about how I'd feel. 

But I choose to focus on the positives - I don't have to spend a fortune on his present, I don't have to see his family, I can do what I want to do and see who I want to see and eat what I want to eat

I know it's hard, but you have to look forward. This will be the first year, but who knows what next year might bring. I plan to spend next Xmas on a beach somewhere :smthumbup:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> Ahh.. I know Ive been circling that.... geesh.. Ill be a big girl then wont I ?


If you keep the center of gravity low on the cycle you pick, the extra weight is no big deal. Don't know your inseam but, the dealership will be able to help with proper sizing, if they are good.

ExW had a Deluxe like this: Softail® Deluxe FLSTN | 2013 Motorcycle | Harley-Davidson USA 

The only issues were: 

1. the seat was hard 
2. due to styling there aren't many different accessory options


I thought this would be a good choice: Fat Boy® Lo Softail® FLSTFB | Custom Motorcycles | Harley-Davidson USA

Reasons: 

1. more accessory options
2. probably less needs changed to make it more comfortable


The touring bikes have the highest center of gravity. Although, as long as you don't lean it too far while stopped, you won't have an issue with weight. The heavier the motorcycle, the smoother the ride and the less you are blown around by the choppy wind from passing vehicles on the highway.

No matter which motorcycle you choose, it will be your own. You can customize it to your preferences and no one else's will be the same. It will be the embodiment of you.


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