# Advice for first time parents



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I had the pleasure of going over to see friends of our yesterday who had their first baby just a week ago (I was delivering his parents from the airport as they had just flown in from New Zealand).

Dad has taken a couple of weeks paternity leave so that they can share the work and joy to begin with but I would be interested to hear what advice / tips others would give a couple in a similar situation.

My suggestion was that whilst the grandparents were there to help care for the baby they took the opportunity for an evening out as just a couple once the new mum is feeling up to it.


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## wifeandmummy (Aug 20, 2012)

I guess it depends what they are happy with doing? I brestfed all my babies so wasnt able to leave them for long (especially at that age...they were pretty much attatched 24/7) and thats a bit too young for me to be happy with leaving baby with anyone else but it just depends what they are comfie with


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I agree with the above. A bit too soon to be having an evening out but accept ALL offers of help around the house and with errands. Also let the grandparents watch the baby so the new mum can catch up in her sleep. 
The new mum shouldn't be doing anything apart from looking after herself and the new baby. This is a very important time for new parents to bond and relax with their new born and visitors shouldn't be a burden.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Are you asking about once the family members leave?


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

wifeandmummy said:


> I guess it depends what they are happy with doing? I brestfed all my babies so wasnt able to leave them for long (especially at that age...they were pretty much attatched 24/7) and thats a bit too young for me to be happy with leaving baby with anyone else but it just depends what they are comfie with


My wife and I did. Nothing more than an early dinner out (gone for less than 2 hours), but something we looked back at fondly.

My advice is that they make time for themselves and each other. It is far too easy to push that down for the good of the baby. Kids, including babies, are far more resilient and less needy than we thing here in the modern world. The best gift a child can receive is parents who love each other.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I was hoping that we could have a thread to which new parents could come when looking for advice.

Another one from me.

Even if you are breast feeding your new born place them in a "moses basket" or similar next to the bed rather than in your bed. This will make the transition to a crib / bed in their own room easier when the time is right.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Never allow your baby to sleep in your bed! Always put your baby in it's room to sleep. That creates a quiet space that the child can feel secure in. We have three grown children and never allowed them to sleep with us. It was amazing how secure they felt in there rooms--no bedtime struggles, no monster or nightmare fears, etc. That was the best advice our pediatrician gave us!


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## wifeandmummy (Aug 20, 2012)

All my babies co slept with us  I wouldn't change it for the world..parents do what they feel is right for them and rheir child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

They all sleep in their own beds/rooms now with no trouble at all.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I coslept with one of my babies but the other two slept in their own beds. I find sleeping in their own beds, we all sleep sounder.

As for breast/bottle, do what is right for YOUR family. For some, Bf works, for others not so much.

Do spend time one on one with your child every day PLAYING. We spend so much time on functional stuff but it's important to laugh together daily.


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## motherofone (Jan 10, 2013)

My advice is enjoy every moment and take a photo every day of your child for at least a year. Make sure both mom and dad have photo op moments. 

In the early days family and friends give the best support making sure your well fed and have clothes to wear. Beyond that its up to the individual. 

Do what your gut says is right. If you had an idea on how something would go and that thing doesn't work with your child. It's okay to try something else or change your mind  take it easy on yourself.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Two rules:

1) Don't sweat the small stuff.

2) 99% of it is small stuff.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband took 3 weeks off of work for paternity leave to stay home and enjoy our first moments with both children we had together. It was nice that this was available to him. We are blessed with very well behaved children! I'm very much looking forward to spending the summer with them once school is out.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

When dad goes back to work, even if mom is staying home, remember that SHE needs some time off, too.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Spend time together as a family but encourage each individual in their own personality and interests...and be open-minded about the synergy, love and connection this creates. 

Re co-sleeping all three of my kids slept with me and none of them had any issues sleeping on their own when it was time, and it was time at least before preschool. They never had any separation issues either. And would nap, wherever, sometimes on a sheepskin under a restaurant table, which is fairly common in some countries...and often in a backpack on my back, in the car, etc. They all had sitters and/or home day care situations and no set regular schedule due to the type of work/life I have. They're all well-adjusted. 

The main point is that kids in families that are well-bonded will do well regardless...don't change your value system because somebody said it is better for the kid/makes for better parenting...if it works for the family as a unit, and each individual in the family, it doesn't need to be endorsed by anyone else.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Tell them that they are going to spend the first year getting him to walk and talk.

Then they'll spend the next 18 years getting him to sit down and shut up!


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