# Just Friends and Facebook???



## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

I am a divorced single parent(have one 2 year old). I am 34 years old and was with my ex for 10 years. I haven't dated much but just started. The world is a lot different now. More complicated really. I just dated a girl that dumped me. The relationship really didn't go anywhere. I blame myself mostly because I have been out of the dating world for a long while. I liked the girl but it just never really happened. She called and said she just wanted to be friends. Well back in the day just being friends was easy. She has my number and I have hers. We may or may not ever hang out again. Now you throw Facebook into the mix. 

Now remember I am the one getting dumped. I really hoped we worked out and regardless I was a little bummed about the just being friends part. 

I took the whole lets just be friends as rejection and unfriended her and some of her friends from Facebook. Not saying that I don't want to be friends but I just felt it was unhealthy for me to be checking out what she is doing on Facebook. Since I unfriended her it also doesn't make much sense me trying to stay friends with her friends on Facebook. 

Needless to say this didn't go over real well. Got some texts about her not understanding why we can't just be friends and chat. I said that I made it pretty clear that I wanted a relationship with her and she doesn't. I have to respect that but I don't think its healthy me scoping out her Facebook all the time and hoping something would change when its not going to happen.

Is this just me being childish? Do people really get dumped and remain friends with people that dump them on Facebook? Seems like a pretty odd thing to do. I know nothing happened between us really but there is conflicting interests here. Do I really want to see a girl I like going out with somebody new next weekend via Facebook. 

The only counter argument people keep saying to me is that who knows what could happen. I also enjoyed hanging with some of her friends.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Facebook is stupid.

I don't have many people on there...why should people have a window into my life that I don't think should have it?

She just wants to keep tabs on you...keep her deleted. By having her on Facebook, she's allowed to "see" you without contacting you. Screw that.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Dude you did right, the last thing any guy wants to be is stuck in the friend zone. You were bing honest and don't knock your self for that. 
You wanted a intimate relationship and she didn't, when she does find one, then why be around to see it. 

It all makes sense to me, so tell the others that care that yu wanted a intimite relationship and it didn't pan out so you are moving on, friendships are great and in time one could develope but for now you are looking for sex and a chance to have an long intimate relationship with a chick that want the same thing with you.


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## Soccerfan73 (Jul 30, 2011)

My ex-wife sent me a friend request on Facebook. I denied it. 

I truly don't wish her ill will anymore, but I certainly would prefer not to see her daily updates on my page. Good luck to her, but I'm moving on and my plans don't involve her. 

I think you did the right thing for yourself, and that's what counts.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

I have less than 50 friends. Didn't use it when I was married but actually like it now that im single. You meet somebody and then can look them up on Facebook. If they friend you it is like they dig you enough to let you on their Facebook. Doesn't really mean anything but its a step in the right direction. Its also nice to meet a girl and get a friend invite before you even get home from where you met them lol.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Ofcourse you did the right thing. Why should you still be "buds" with a failed relationship. If i run into you randomly, that's one thing. But i don't need to know all about your social life, and like someone said above me, she can spy on you as well. And when things don't work for her, guess who she will have 1 eye on...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

She wants you on standby in case her current beaus don't work out. If you defriend her, how can she let you know? lol

If you want to find a good mate, read this book - it will tell you how to be the one person they want to be with: His Needs Her Needs, by Harley.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

Facebook is ridiculous lol. 

I don't see anything wrong with what you did, I mean, some of my worst leaving the husband drama was from his family hawking my facebook, and then throwing fits when I deleted and blocked them.

She's just mad you won't be liking her updates, and that her friend number went down..oh darn


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

turnera said:


> She wants you on standby in case her current beaus don't work out. If you defriend her, how can she let you know? lol
> 
> 
> > You spoiled her plan and actually rejected her. How dare you not take her crumbs.


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## newdaddy79 (Aug 15, 2011)

The world has changed indeed, and not for the better. To be honest, sites like Facebook are really not that healthy for any kind of relationship. Sure, it can be a useful tool to stay in touch and share photos, etc. with friend and family. But it is also very dangerous and not always a great way to communicate.

I personally do not have a facebook account. I feel that as a married man, I must be very careful with who I choose to associate with. I would not want some female from my past friending me and being tempted by something I don't want. I just choose to stay away from it for my own protection. However, my wife does have an account, and she is very careful who she friends, and only uses it to stay in touch with her girlfriends that she knew growing up that are now several hours away. It works for her, but she is not addicted and is very very cautious with who she friends on facebook.

But as a guy, I completely get why you did that. You don't need that constant reminder of a failed relationship popping into your head on a daily basis. Move on. You did the sensible thing.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

Thanks for the advice everybody. 

I had one of her friends that I like refriend me lol. I friended her just to let her know what happened. She let me hang at her house so I thought I owed her a explanation. I also unfriended her again after she responded. She is married. Just didn't want people to get the wrong idea. Almost instantly got a text. You can guess what the text said,"You can unfriend me but refriend my best friend?" 

So much drama. I probably should of just let it be. I can't help but laugh about it though.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Um, why couldn't you just call this friend?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Being on FB, interacting, unfriending, blocking.... it's all fine. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. People who WHINE about FB are just immature.


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