# The return of happiness and laughter



## Endgame (Nov 6, 2011)

God knows I have shed many tears over the last couple of years, having to deal with this incredible roller coaster ride, one that I didn't want to partake of to start off with. But, in the end, I knew a divorce was coming and I bowed out gracefully and let my spouse of 20 years go in peace. It was probably one of the easiest divorce processes that has ever taken place, as we did it together and stayed civil with each other throughout the process. He's even still living with the kids and myself, and I'm letting him have all the time he needs to set the course for the next phase of his life. We stay kind and communicate with each other if the time permits. 

I have been watching this marriage die a slow and painful death and I was becoming conscious of the effects it was having on this tired body of mine. Many times I wish I could just die, but I stayed strong for the kids and faced each day with a plastered, fake smile, showing the world how great I am when facing adversity.

However, just two nights ago in a dream I had, I heard a voice, "it is finished" and I felt this incredible weight lift off of my body and I began to feel like I was lifting off to take flight. Freedom had come to me and it felt beautiful. At first I thought I had died, and was taken up to heaven to weep no more, but that of course, was not the case. After waking from the dream I found myself laughing, and laughing. Laughing so hard tears were flowing, and I haven't stopped. I feel good about life again, almost child like. My kids are looking at me as if I'm off my rocker, and yet they laugh with me. I told my ex as he stood there with a bewildered look upon his face, that I loved him and I would never hold anything against him. I thanked him for this wonderful journey we experienced together and I hope that somewhere down the road we could become good friends once again. I'm not too sure how he's taking this laughter of mine as he's still wallowing in his misery that he created none-the-less. But me, I'm going to enjoy this moment as long as it lasts, and I'm not going to let him drag me down that deep dark rabbit hole where he resides. Life is just too short.

Am I off my rocker? If I am, I'm loving it! 

So, to all of you who are suffering through this tragic path of divorce, yes, there is freedom from the pain. It will come, and the sooner you are able to take control of your emotions and not let them control you, the quicker you will find your inner peace. Happiness will return once again and life will be worth living.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Good for you. I hope this phase lasts a very very long time.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Someone (so many these days) reminds me:

This too shall pass. Meaning the good and the bad. Life is ever changing. Enjoy your triumph. I have those days and then I have those others.

Getting better all the time...


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

If you're off your rocker, more power to you. I think you had a spiritual and awesome experience. I'm really happy for you and I think many of us wish we could have such a powerful and life altering dream!
Best wishes


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## Endgame (Nov 6, 2011)

I have to say that it's a bittersweet experience, but this wave I'm riding, I hope it stays for quite a while. Stability is returning and the smile is no longer fake, and the laughter is real. I'm even enjoying telling jokes again! However, I do have my moments, because I will miss the only man I ever truly loved and cherished. That will never go away.


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