# Sex help!!



## barbie_grl111706 (Apr 30, 2009)

I have been married almost 3 years but been in a relationship for more than 5 years prior to marriage. I love him with all my heart but for some reason he is not sexual with me any more. my physical appearance has not really changed all that much, except my body is more filled out than it was before (which he says he likes). but he won't even let me touch him. I know that he gets aroused because I have seen it, but he will not have sex with me. It has been once in a year. That does not make sense to me. Please someone give me advice; i'm beginning to think that he is just not in love with me anymore. I am not sure what to do, he says it is stress but i dont really believe it all that much..IDK


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

With men, only an ultimatum works. And even then it's not easy. But you need to start the conversation, or you will end up in a very depressed state, like all the other women in your situation. See my thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/4561-difference-between-men-women-who-go-off-sex.html


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## barbie_grl111706 (Apr 30, 2009)

Thank you for your reply. I understand your point; the thing that stinks is that I have told him over and over and even told him that I need this intimacy in my life. It dont phase him one bit. He said a few weeks ago that in a couple of months he wants us to try for children; i hate to tell him this, but to have children you got to have sex; right???? lol!! I just dont get it. Thank you for the reply.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Think long and hard about having children with someone who will not communicate with you on such an important issue. Please insist that he get a physical--and if everything checks out ok, great. In the meantime, set up a counseling appointment. If he won't go with you, go alone, and decide if you really want to stay in a marriage like this, if he's unwilling to change. 

good luck.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

sisters359 said:


> Think long and hard about having children with someone who will not communicate with you on such an important issue.


Do not let him get you pregnant. If you do, you will be stuck with no sex forever. That is probably what he wants. 

Try this test: Ask him how he plans to impregnate you, then report back his answer here.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

My wife and I do a little thing with a special candle in the house. We have three kids in the house so it hard to communicate to each other when we are in the mood. So we started this thing where we light our special candle in the bedroom if one of us in open to a night of love making. Nothing I enjoy more than comming up to bed and finding the candle lit in the bedroom. If your really exhausted and just not up to it we just blow out the candle and ask for a rain check. That has only happened once or twice. Mostly we both love to see that candle lit. Oh and the candle is a small oil filled candle that only burns for about 2 hrs and then goes out. So it is not a fire hazzard for those that are thinking that.

It sure has worked for us!


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