# Unfaithful Wife w/Bipolar



## uneasyrider912 (Apr 13, 2013)

Well, it's a long sad story that humiliates me more every time i have to tell it. But my 8 1/2 month Bipolar pregnant wife has broken down in a depressive episode, and admitted to me infidelity again. The first time was actually before our marriage 5 years ago now, i suspected correctly, she admitted to it 1 1/2 years later, i forgave her. The man was a previous boyfriend(before me originally). She has always described her previous to me relationship with him as very sexual and very dirty, with anal sex "which she did not enjoy". I had never had it, i was curious and eventually talked her into it. Never again would she let me. She also mention that the OM had erectile dysfunction and sometimes would not orgasm at all(seemingly endless sex?) In July she left me, i admit at least 50% responsibility for the failure, but she planned it 6 months in advance, and cheated on me with the other man over this time, many times indulging in anal sex. She moved out while the kids were at summer camp(she had planned everything). So, 2 weeks later she was back, and i had stupidly no idea about the infedility, and so long story short, a baby was concepted(we had talked for a long time on the subject but are both mid 30's and never came to a conclusion. I decided to do it. So, today she is in the mental health unit at the hospital, after breaking down depressive and telling me all of this. There is word of inducing on monday, the dates of the pregnancy conception and the affair and the "rebuild" of our marriage seem gray to me, and i have demanded a paternity test of the child(if it's not mine she has to go, i have to break as few hearts as possible and im not willing to lie to the OM and raise his daughter without his knowledge, or let my wife walk out on me, my daughter, my parents and sisters and everyone's life and tell him and declare a paternity test which would inevitably would lead to said child being taken from us when she has her next serious manic episode...........can anyone help?


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

Jacked up situation, man. It may be time to step out of the marriage. How many times are you willing to be cheated on? How many more times will a matter of paternity be an issue? Hate to hear it, but it may be time to move forward.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You should ask a moderator to move this to the infidelity section. This is the sex section. 

Or, is your question 'how to get anal'? If that's the case, well, it sounds to me like your wife likes men who push her limits a bit.


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## uneasyrider912 (Apr 13, 2013)

right, but since she has been back, she has been good and i believe that, but again, how many times can i do this? nice guys finish last seems so true, 2 serious relationships now, destroyed by this, i must be so inadequate


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

1: Sounds like others are getting more than you. 
2: She's doing things with others that she isn't doing with you.
3: Child may not be yours.
4: She's cheated a lot. 

Are there any upsides we're missing out on?


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## uneasyrider912 (Apr 13, 2013)

yes, many, she has been extremely diligent taking care of checking account, and keeping track and motivating the family, she is/was a vital peice to our family(yes she worked fulltime and took care of her job very good at it) she is very smart as far book smart, but extremely naive in life and social situations. She has supported me through college as i did for her. She usually and consistently is very nice to me.

truths: my failures as a husband

i neglected her: but on the other hand school, jobs, kids kid activities, doesnt leave a lot of time for our "sexual adventures" nor does it lend much privacy, so the competition i face at even this level seems unmanageable.

im an ass around the house, although i can handle advanced tasks around the house, im a lazy person, especially compared to her, i literally cannot keep up with her.

Her advantages:
Very very very good with money, as good as dave ramsey.

When we have sex, it's almost always bent to my gratification(unless i would ask for anal which didnt take long for me to give up(thought i was being the good guy))


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## uneasyrider912 (Apr 13, 2013)

one more positive, she admitted it, she expressed remorse, she is now currently writing me some letter or answers to slews of my questions and i will see it today, and will post everything without names of course, and you guys can gerally see in her head, i do not trust my decisions right now and for that reason, my decision is indecision.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

It's what you are willing to put up with I personally would not raise another man's child.


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## uneasyrider912 (Apr 13, 2013)

no, i will not either, she knows i know, i made it very clear if its not mine, its a for sure deal breaker, because that is almost a for sure heart breaker for many.

Besides days before she admitted, we were in the grocery store and ran into the guy, and he seemed very agitated that she was pregnant, and now i feel so stupidly for not catching on that he thought it was his. She tells me at end of their affair that he dropped her(i think because he found out she was considering moving back in with me)

i love her.......im in misery


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

So she cheated twice and you still take her back. Why should she stop ?

You are not nice, you are codependent and a doormat.


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

Dude, it sounds an awful lot like you're being a doormat. It's NEVER your fault if your spouse chooses to cheat. Stop blaming yourself for her ___tty behavior. None, and I mean NONE, of us are perfect husbands. I have a buddy who used lack of intimacy as a catalyst to cheat. I, on the other hand, refuse to allow that to happen. Whatever the issue(s) is/are between you two, she shouldn't have chosen to cheat. Period.


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## Fleur de Cactus (Apr 6, 2013)

Listen to yourself ! The other guy "he dropped her"! Unless u r biporal u too otherwise get out, biporal like codependent , there something in u that she likes bse she knows no matter how she cheats u will forgive. Get out this life ! Move on, she is not good .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Can you really fully trust her?

Shes has been unfaithful more than once.

Are there other affairs you don't know about?

She has gotten off way to easy and you keep letting her.

SO when you mess up and are far from perfect this
gives her the right to cheat.

I bet she will do it again,it's only a matter of when.

Good Luck


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

File for annulment and end the marriage cheaply and quickly. You can still live together as boyfriend and girlfriend. 

If she gets her condition stabiliized and spends the next two years or so showing true remorse and repentance, then you have the option of remarrying. 

But there are a lot of bi-polar people out there who do not cheat on their spouses. Sounds to me like she is a just a run of the mill cheater who happens to have a mental condition to blame her bad behavior on. How convenient!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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