# Masturbatory habits an indicator?



## notsocool (Jul 4, 2010)

Does knowing a persons 'masturbation routine' inbetween or prior to a marriage or relationship, indicate if they will be a future hd or ld partner?
And is it a question that should be asked?

Remember my first husband mentioning that he masturbated approx once a month before were together.
I was young and didn't think anything of it. Sure enough our marriage settled into a virtual 3 weekly or once a month of sex.

Fast forward many years to second husband. He said he masturbated a lot pre relationship and yep he wants a lot of sex now we're married.

So just wondering if its as clear cut as all that.
If you need to masturbate quite a lot, you're HD and likely all will be good with your HD partner?

And should alarm bells be ringing if you're considering marrying someone who you know doesn't have that same need.
I know there is more to it than that. But is that knowledge, a way of sorting the hd from the ld, so to speak?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

It has held true for my wife and I


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My STBX didn't masturbate and said he didn't. Said he didn't like it, it was boring, he'd rather have the real thing. Scoff at that if you will, but in 5 years, never caught him or anything of the sort and we had sex almost daily.

I rarely masturbate and my drive is sky high.


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

My first husband masturbated a lot. He had a low sex drive when it came to actual women.

My current husband never masturbates...he's tried it, but he's got hang ups about it due to his upbringing...he has a high sex drive when it comes to actual sex.

I personally masturbate about 5 days a week. And I have a very high sex drive...7 to 10 times a week is just "satisfactory" to me.

I haven't noticed a correlation in my own personal experience.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Agree with Southern Miss. Masturbation has far too many hang ups associated with it to get a clear correlation between frequency and drive. Not to mention the fact that sex drive, in general, isn't affected by the emotional connection within a relationship. 

A spouse may not wish to have sex due to problems in the relationship, but still be in need of orgasmic release. A spouse may be very open to sex, but not be in need of orgasmic release.


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## notsocool (Jul 4, 2010)

Thanks for replies. 
Interesting tho, I never really thought you could be HD and be ok not masturbating.
Tells me I can't generalise about sex and relationships. Too many variables.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

notsocool said:


> Does knowing a persons 'masturbation routine' inbetween or prior to a marriage or relationship, indicate if they will be a future hd or ld partner?
> And is it a question that should be asked?
> 
> Remember my first husband mentioning that he masturbated approx once a month before were together.
> ...


I think I'd say that yes...a lack of interest in masturbation would be a fairly safe and reliable indicator of LD (in a guy with no other sexual outlet)


But high masturbation frequency is trickier as an indicator... especially as an indication that "all will be good" in a marriage/relationship.

There are plenty of threads here that can attest to the existence of husbands who lack interest in sex with a partner because their desire's become strongly geared to a masturbation/porn habit...

So what you'd really want to know is what effect having a ready and willing partner does to a guy's porn/masturbation frequency level. I think if it didn't diminish AT ALL that would be room for 'addictive behavior' concerns

And really, the most critical aspect to pay attention to is how comfortable a guy is with INTIMATE sex with you (sexual and emotional components). Does he feel 'present' with you?

It's also interesting, that'd I'd say a high masturbation frequency would be a MUCH LESS reliable indicator of ANYTHING in a woman...

Even as female myself, I still find that an odd truth


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

every male masterbats a lot when they are young. your relationship with each has more to do with communication with each other,and how many spoilers the mates have been with.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Yes if you masturbate a lot you generally have a high sex drive.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"every male masterbats a lot when they are young. your relationship with each has more to do with communication with each other,and how many spoilers the mates have been with."



Total generalizations like this (saying "every" male) are bad for education, because it isn't true.

Yes the percentage of both males AND females who masturbate when they are young is very high. But to say "every" causes a problem for those who really never did, and the people who end up with those who really never did. When you end up married to a man who has low or no sex drive, and then you recall that he said he never did it when he was young, but you disregarded this because you thought "every" young male did it....it is just so sad and confusing for women who end up in that position, and there are many women like that.

There is no reason to try to push "every" male or female into one box. The world is more colorful with lots of variation. I knew one male personally who never "figured it out" when he was young and literally never had an O until his first sex with a woman at age 19. From then forward, he was a bad boy extraordinaire and f*cked everything that moved. I'm not saying this was a good thing at all, (nor am I saying there was any cause and effect, the guy just was who he was)....what I'm pointing out is that here was a very sexual man who had not masturbated at all when he was young.

Variations make our species cuter!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Adex said:


> Yes if you masturbate a lot you generally have a high sex drive.


Please. 
You can also have a high drive and choose NOT to indulge. Some people are capable of exhibiting self control. A rarity, it seems, these days, but it does exist.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Or your sex drive can have a lot to do with the person you are with and not yourself.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Please.
> You can also have a high drive and choose NOT to indulge. Some people are capable of exhibiting self control. A rarity, it seems, these days, but it does exist.


Ok but I didn't deny that. I simply said if you masturbate a lot, you generally have a high sex drive.


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## lonelyat32 (Apr 18, 2013)

From my personal experience, the person who MB regularly has a higher drive than someone who doesn't.

Coming from a failed, sexless marriage, my W (separating) never MB. She had some sort of personal hangup with MB. I on the other hand MB almost daily. The only times I didn't was when I had a pretty good feeling my wife and I were going to have sex. My drive is pretty high and I could easily have sex 2 times a day, 5-6 days a week.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

My experience has been men who frequently, vigorously, and regularly masturbate are AWFUL lovers. They do not and cannot match my drive. This has been my experience with my husband and a few others. They suck at pleasuring a woman or even making a connection. 

Sadly, they THINK they are raging love machines but when it comes down to it...they cannot perform with another person. It is a harsh realization.

The man that was my first masturbated about twice a week (also a virgin.) His drive complemented mine the most. So, if I ever found myself single again I will avoid a man who never does it or does it more than a few times a week. 

But this has been my experience. Not true for all, I suppose.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't need to masturbate  rawr.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

AnnieAsh said:


> My experience has been men who frequently, vigorously, and regularly masturbate are AWFUL lovers. They do not and cannot match my drive. This has been my experience with my husband and a few others. They suck at pleasuring a woman or even making a connection.
> 
> Sadly, they THINK they are raging love machines but when it comes down to it...they cannot perform with another person. It is a harsh realization.
> 
> ...


Love making is a fine art, imo. Masturbation is a selfish (but good selfish) act. No need to please anyone but yourself. SO NOT TRUE when with another living person. Not only do you have to please them, but the TRUE love making master gets pleasure from pleasing their partner  oooh yea. Good times to be had. Someone who would rather masturbate probably doesn't have that skill. Shame for them. Nothing beats being able to get off just by pleasing the other person. Yes.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Or your sex drive can have a lot to do with the person you are with and not yourself.


I think you hit the nail on the head...Sex is about your feelings for your partner...Even if your partner is your hand...

good luck
the woodchuck


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

I agree with Annie. 

Also, Frequent masturbation desensitized men I believe. 

Say you and your partner are both HD and have sex several times a day, and the other masturbates every chance they get when the other leaves the house. 

What's that called? Super high drive? No sexual gratification from the actual, real sex? What's the deal with that sorta thing?

I'm genuinely curious to know. Especially for a man. If he's getting it 2-3 times a day, whenever and however he wants it, but soon as he's alone he whips out the same old genre of porn every time and has to masturbate, what's that about?

Also, if he has naked pictures of his woman on his phone either just nude or dirtier, why the porn need? Why not look at the woman he's supposed to be sooooo in love and enthralled with? 

I honestly don't understand these types situations. 

My apologies if I'm off topic.


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## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

Adex said:


> Yes if you masturbate a lot you generally have a high sex drive.


Yeah, but she's not asking that - does one's masturbatory habits indicate sex drive. What she wants to know is whether the frequency of masturbation is equal to te frequency of getting it and answer is no correlation. There are plenty of heavy wankers who don't put out and vice-versa!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

I recall an early conversation with my (eventual) wife when we had first started dating, and before we had become physically intimate. (Conversation was courtesy the Seinfeld episode where the had a bet to see who could go the longest without doing "that".)

She claimed she masturbated about every day. I claimed the same, maybe twice a day on weekends.

She was thirty at the time.

The first five years or so, we had almost frequent enough sex, though I don't recall noticing she masturbated much, if at all.

Now, there is sex maybe four times a year. She is fifty.

I don't know what this means, but I caution against taking anyone's word about masturbation frequency. And, ill throw in something from the world if investing: past results are no guarantee of future performance.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

IndiaInk said:


> I think I'd say that yes...a lack of interest in masturbation would be a fairly safe and reliable indicator of LD (in a guy with no other sexual outlet)
> 
> 
> But high masturbation frequency is trickier as an indicator... especially as an indication that "all will be good" in a marriage/relationship.
> ...


These observations sound true to me. Drinking alone is a sign of alcoholism. Too much maturbation is just another addiction. Maybe for women it is less harmful, but I wouldn't like to be a husband getting turned down by a woman who had an active solitary sex life but only when I wasn't around.


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## desertdog (Apr 22, 2013)

My husband beats off 2-3 times a day. We rarely have sex, even though I essentially beg for it.

It sucks, but doesn't indicate much in my experience.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

desertdog said:


> My husband beats off 2-3 times a day. We rarely have sex, even though I essentially beg for it.
> 
> It sucks, but doesn't indicate much in my experience.


So you see it as a form of addiction?

Is he emotionally more accessible when you are on vacation and he has to take a break from his habit?

Does he have difficulty reaching climax?

Porn is to easy an escape. Nature did not plan the human brain to see hundreds of thousands of naked women. The mind has difficulty resisting the temptation.

I regret the amount of time I have wasted on porn. Why not a live woman?

Unless the person you are married to physically repulses you and all affection and lust are dead, why not spend more time making love with your spouse?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

that_girl said:


> My STBX didn't masturbate and said he didn't. Said he didn't like it, it was boring, he'd rather have the real thing. Scoff at that if you will, but in 5 years, never caught him or anything of the sort and we had sex almost daily.
> 
> I rarely masturbate and my drive is sky high.


Pink legs.....you said you had sex almost daily for 5 years....THAT is probably why he never needed to masturbate!!!. 

Damn lucky guy in my opinion!!!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> Pink legs.....you said you had sex almost daily for 5 years....THAT is probably why he never needed to masturbate!!!.
> 
> Damn lucky guy in my opinion!!!


Some don't whether having sex daily or not. Since we married, my husband has not. No clue how often he did, or if he did, before we met (online). I do know that after we met, he did on occasion... we were over 1000 miles apart at that time. But after marrying, no, he hasn't.


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