# Has anyone tried Daily Sex? What's your experience?



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

So wifey and myself, in general, like to have some kind of sexual activity together 3-4 times a week. 

Lately, thanks to changing schedules, and a few body image and minor health issues with wifey, we're in a bit of a rut (for us), and over the last several months have been in the 1-2 times a week range. It's not terrible, but optimally we do prefer more. 

But, as many can attest to, ruts begat ruts. We both need to put in a more concerted effort to push through some barriers to just "do it". Neither of us are pleased with the down turn. We've talked off and on through the years about experimenting with daily sexual activity. I stress "sexual activity" because our definition of "sex" isn't just PIV, it's any and all things that get us both off.

One of my concerns is that it'll just get boring. That there won't be time to really build tension, or any anticipation, or worse off, that it'll turn us both off sex for awhile.

I've heard very mixed reviews about daily sex. I'm just looking to get some experience from folks that have either tried a period of daily sex, or that's just your normal routine.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

We never schedule sex. Sometimes it is daily, sometimes it is twice a day (just twice, though; more than that and I will likely get a UTI), and sometimes we skip a day or even two. 

It would be unusual for us to go long than two days without sex, though. I think we would both be reaching out for each other on that third day.

I do remember one woman on another forum saying that she and her husband had sex every day during their 25+ year marriage, "just like a vitamin," she called it. I thought that was cute! 

I love my husband very much. I want to be close to him. Sex is one way to do that, and a very important way, especially to him.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

It would be a great experiment, but not an option for us. I'd like to try the "weekly sex" experiment, but that isn't an option either.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Uh, Gawd.

Those days have cum and gone. Aging is a SOB that I fight with daily.

I am winning, I am winning, I am winning.....because I am not dead.

And I will return for another go at it....uh, at her. 

In the next reincarnation.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

jld said:


> We never schedule sex.


We don't either. I've always been adamant about that. But lately, with our busy and sometimes conflicting schedules, she's been suggesting we schedule, just to make sure we get that connection time we need. I remain resistant, at least up to this point.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

jaquen said:


> We don't either. I've always been adamant about that. But lately, with our busy and sometimes conflicting schedules, she's been suggesting we schedule, just to make sure we get that connection time we need. I remain resistant, at least up to this point.


Scheduled sex just sounds strange to me. I am constantly trying to connect emotionally with my husband, and sex just seems to flow from that, no schedule needed, lol. He is my foundation!

Sorry, that is probably not much help. Why do you think you are resisting her schedule idea?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We've been having daily sex for most of the time we've been together (over 17 years now). In the first 5 years or so, twice a day was our norm, slowly slowing to once a day, and in the last few years we'll occasionally miss a day (but rarely two). We both make an effort to keep the frequency high, and as close to daily as we can - we both are happiest when we do. We've never been bored with sex, either. But we're both creative and keep changing things up in some way periodically, which helps greatly.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

For about a year we had daily sex, but we had issues that needed ironing out. Lately we seem to be having sex every other day, which is actually a lot better in terms of building up anticipation (my orgasms are stronger with at every other day). Sometimes if he has not been working we will have sex twice a day, but it is never expected or planned. However, we recently went a week without sex and that was really bad as we were starting to argue and get irritable with each other. 

Have sex when you are both horny. Don't count the days.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

uhtred said:


> *It would be a great experiment*, but not an option for us. I'd like to try the "weekly sex" experiment, but that isn't an option either.


*Experiment? 

Hell, where do I go to sign up?*


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

jld said:


> Why do you think you are resisting her schedule idea?


I just like the spontaneity. It seems so rote, and somewhat uninteresting, to think "this Friday at 7 we must have sex". I could probably get into it eventually, but the thought of it seems so unsexy LOL.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

jaquen said:


> I just like the spontaneity. It seems so rote, and somewhat uninteresting, to think "this Friday at 7 we must have sex". I could probably get into it eventually, but the thought of it seems so unsexy LOL.


Totally agree.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

The ex and I would have sex at least once a day and I have to admit, as high a drive I have, I did start to get bored with it after some time. Not to mention that the hosepipe would run dry on occasion! Perhaps you would fair better if you mixed things up more? Like for us it was rough/caveman sex from Monday to Friday then love making on the weekends. I actually enjoyed those weekends more because they brought a change of pace from the usual, plus we could share a bath or shower together or just take our time to explore each other's bodies. We would treat weekend days as long dates and the evening would be spent slowly enjoying each other. Like @Married but Happy said: be creative and keep on changing things up. 



peacem said:


> Have sex when you are both horny. Don't count the days.


This too!


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

There was a week my W and I had sex every day. One word, EXHAUSTING lol.

Daily sex doesn't really interest me, I am sure in part there is nothing realistic about the idea, but never felt like I needed sex daily.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

uhtred said:


> It would be a great experiment, but not an option for us. I'd like to try the "weekly sex" experiment, but that isn't an option either.


I'll go for the "annual sex" experiment, but that's just asking too much of her.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

peacem said:


> For about a year we had daily sex, but we had issues that needed ironing out. Lately we seem to be having sex every other day,.


Every other day was our average until recently. Not always that pattern, but the averages across the week. Maybe we'll shoot for daily, but land back there, which is perfectly fine with us.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> There was a week my W and I had sex every day. One word, EXHAUSTING lol.
> 
> Daily sex doesn't really interest me, I am sure in part there is nothing realistic about the idea, but never felt like I needed sex daily.


This is going to sound bizarre. But we went away for our 3rd anniversary to a remote cabin. I can't tell you what got into us, but we ended up having sex, to completion for both of us, over 20 times across a three day weekend. And, TBH, I wish we hadn't, because after that it affected or weekly frequency for quite awhile. And not on her part, but on mine. It was like eating too much of your favorite ice cream LOL.

I think daily sex is an interesting experiment, and I'm loving all the varied responses. But while I could have it daily, I'll be shocked if I want to have it daily.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

I'm a little confused. You both prefer 3-4x, are down to 1-2x, and neither of you is happy with that. So what specifically is the issue that pops up to prevent you from the frequency you both claim to want? Is it always on you to initiate, or do you share that role? 

I think there must be some exchange in the moment, spoken or unspoken, that diverts you away from spontaneous sex and into concerns/fears/excuses, perhaps related to the schedule/health/body image stuff you mentioned. Whatever that looks like, I wonder if it wouldn't be more effective to address & defuse the issue(s) directly instead of imposing an arbitrary stricture that requires going from half of your stated ideal to double the amount. 

_valar morghulis..._


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

peacem said:


> Have sex when you are both horny. Don't count the days.


Perhaps that works when you're young and both horny all the time. Eventually it's unlikely that you're both are horny at the same time, but if one is horny, often the other can usually be easily persuaded. Heck if we BOTH had to be horny every time, nothing much would ever happen!


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

IME, both deserts and oases spread (and deserts are quicker). And sometimes it simply is that both of you forgot to think about it. And spontaneity is all well and good, but sometimes scheduling does get the job done ...

That said, we tried daily sex for a few months (it was a laughing New Year's resolution). I enjoyed it very much, but my husband felt that it took the soul out of the thing. I only found that out later. If either of you have any doubts then don't do it. Or agree to always be 120% honest with each other. (Our old policy of never saying no to each other probably got in the way of honest communication here). Nothing takes away the positive outcomes quicker than realising that your partner felt obligated at any point. 

Maybe you could try a boot camp approach? Daily - but only for a short period of time (like a week or two). To kickstart yourselves. So to speak.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

ChargingCharlie said:


> I'll go for the "annual sex" experiment, but that's just asking too much of her.


Annual or Anal?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Generally my wife and I have had sex every day. Even during our tough times when I was very angry. Mary seemed to enjoy that. That's a whole other story. 

With advancing age and my headache/blood pressure medications, something anyway, I only have an orgasm myself every other day or so. But Mary has a lot of fun every day, except during this last 6 weeks of course. Poor girl. 

One of the things we have observed over the years is that other couples watch television in the evening, or stuff like that. We retire to our room and start making out about the time other people might switch on the TV. I don't watch TV. My only entertainment is Mary. 

43 years. Pretty much every night. It's just fun. No goal orientation, no concern for anything other than pleasurable feelings for each other. Yes, used to pretty much lead to an orgasm for me every night sometime along the way. Mary has more. 

I suspect if people were focused on orgasms more instead of just the raw sensual pleasure it would become boring. I've never gotten tired of feeling my hands gliding over her skin, or the touch of her lips grazing my eyelids.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

It would seem like college re-visited. I always figured at that age, it's such a new experience that those in intimate relationships would enjoy it as often as schedules permitted.

I never saw myself as a guy that girls would want, so when I had a GF, I had this urge to 'make the most of it while it lasted'. Never expected to have several LTRs while in college, but I did end up with three that lasted many years each. I worked my way through college, so it took quite a few more than four years to get the four year degree.

We never scheduled sex, but it seemed any time we spent time together, we were both like "why not". All three, over at least a portion of the time we were together, ended up living at my place. They didn't dump their apartments, but they were rooming with many other girls, like 5 to 7 in a 2-3 bedroom apt, and they liked the quieter environment of just me and my place. I think, typically, activities would ensue right after awaking in the morning and then it was part of the bedtime ritual.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Steve1000 said:


> Annual or Anal?


Ha - actually both. My wife is the master of saying "we need a date night", and when we finally get a sitter and go out, on the way there she makes sure to prep me with "my head is pounding", "I have horrible cramps", "I'm sooo tired".


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Phil Anders said:


> I'm a little confused. You both prefer 3-4x, are down to 1-2x, and neither of you is happy with that. So what specifically is the issue that pops up to prevent you from the frequency you both claim to want? Is it always on you to initiate, or do you share that role?
> 
> I think there must be some exchange in the moment, spoken or unspoken, that diverts you away from spontaneous sex and into concerns/fears/excuses, perhaps related to the schedule/health/body image stuff you mentioned. Whatever that looks like, I wonder if it wouldn't be more effective to address & defuse the issue(s) directly instead of imposing an arbitrary stricture that requires going from half of your stated ideal to double the amount.
> 
> _valar morghulis..._


We both initiate, about equally (sometimes her more, sometimes me).

We've let increased hours between us, odd schedules, and again, some body/health issues, slide us out of our usual space. At this point it's largely become an issue of momentum. Since we've been talking about daily sex off/on for years now, I'm just wondering if it'll be an interesting way to radically shake things up. 

I wouldn't worry about is feeling stuck in an arbitrary structure. I'm just more curious about the results of daily sex that other people have encountered.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

WilliamM said:


> Generally my wife and I have had sex every day. Even during our tough times when I was very angry. Mary seemed to enjoy that. That's a whole other story.
> 
> With advancing age and my headache/blood pressure medications, something anyway, I only have an orgasm myself every other day or so. But Mary has a lot of fun every day, except during this last 6 weeks of course. Poor girl.
> 
> ...


Oh that's really good stuff man. You guys sound incredible. Very inspirational.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

It's good you aren't having those little "shutdowns" that head off the event after one of you has made moves to initiate. In the absence of those, the obvious momentum shifter would be "initiate more." An explicit agreement on daily sex would certainly qualify, if it doesn't feel like a stricture. 

I suppose the attitude is key--if it ever feels like a chore, then that would be counterproductive...as would the burnout/aversion you experienced from your 20x-in-3days marathon. I have had ≥1x daily sex feel inspired, and I've also had it get dull, both physically and mentally. Involuntary "dry" days that have a resentful, unhappy undertone are completely different from days where you are flirting and trash-talking each other to build tension for the next encounter, even if it's 24-48 hours away. 

I'd recommend modifying it to a "flirt & be excellent to each other daily" commitment. Sex _could _flow from that kind of interaction on any given day, but it would be spontaneous rather than set in stone. And if it doesn't happen, you "prime the pump" (<<--that's a clever turn of phrase I have just now invented!) while avoiding any sense of grudging obligation.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

Yes but only when my wife is away.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Phil Anders said:


> It's good you aren't having those little "shutdowns" that head off the event after one of you has made moves to initiate.


Oh, none of that, thank God.



Phil Anders said:


> I'd recommend modifying it to a "flirt & be excellent to each other daily" commitment.


Great idea. We're already pretty damn good at the "be excellent", but you're right, but up the flirt factor is a good reminder. Also we use to love morning sex, which is a great way to stay connected, but schedules don't allow that to be a spontaneous as it use to be. 



Phil Anders said:


> And if it doesn't happen, you "prime the pump" (<<--that's a clever turn of phrase I have just now invented!) while avoiding any sense of grudging obligation.


Oh I see what you did there you clever bastard.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I tried this once with my x wife. 2 months straight every day we did it. This all stemed from an article about bonding she read. It was really fun at first but over time it just became a checklist thing for both of us to do. I like the tension building part and so did she ....so we backed off to 3-4 times a week which worked better for us till the end.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

ChargingCharlie said:


> Ha - actually both. My wife is the master of saying "we need a date night", and when we finally get a sitter and go out, on the way there she makes sure to prep me with "my head is pounding", "I have horrible cramps", "I'm sooo tired".


I'd take her home, and tell her that I have a backup date for the remainder of the evening. Then I'd go out and have fun - most likely alone or with friends, but she'd be home wondering!


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

We have sex daily but it is not scheduled and for some odd reason it does feel spontaneous. As I sit here having my coffee this morning I have no guarantee that we will have sex tonight because we have not actually said we would so being the goldfish brain that I am it will come as a pleasant surprise when we have sex tonight, like I wasn't expecting it to happen lol.

So for me, scheduled sex would be a mood killer. 

He is the leader of our gang of two that is for sure, he has what I would call a Supreme Drive but even more importantly he lives for passion and intimacy, it is not just sex, he has a great emotional connection to sex whereas I don't. We have an uncanny connection and both meld into the style of sex it is that night. The exception being if it is something that requires set up such as role play, being tied up etc.

Daily sex is a good thing here but for me I also like lots of daily flirting, sexting, lots of touching, hugs, kissing etc outside of the bedroom as well.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I always initiate. We never have any questions regarding that. I suppose since I always expected to it's never phased me at all that I am always the one to initiate.

I do have good sturdy leather wrist cuffs to put on Mary, but these days with her arthritis I can't tie her arms above her head. When I do get them out, just buckling them on adds to Mary's excitement. 

Role play is lots of fun. Mary really likes it. 

Have fun!


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## MartinBeck (Jan 19, 2017)

jld said:


> I do remember one woman on another forum saying that she and her husband had sex every day during their 25+ year marriage, "just like a vitamin," she called it. I thought that was cute!
> 
> 
> 
> .




She was getting her daily Vitamin D!


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

My hubby and I did this recently just for two weeks as a connection building exercise. We agreed that sex meant anything that involved sexual contact and both of us felt satisfied (one way or another)
It was good because I learned some things about H and about myself.
I learned that H is happy to make love to me even without an O sometimes. This was a new discovery because I had it in my head that he was always going for the O no matter what and if he didn't get it I had failed him. 

I learned about myself that I am much better at initiating if I know that it's going to happen either way.
It took the rejection risk away for me and made me more bold in my initiations. 

After the two weeks we talked about continuing the daily routine but it sort of fell by the wayside. 

It was a very good experience for both of us and definitely brought up some things we got to talk about and adjust going forward.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I finish work at five am and by then my gf is up and we both work out in our home gym.Then when we are both hot and sweaty we have another workout in bed.Every day.There is a lot of laundry in our house.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> I finish work at five am and by then my gf is up and we both work out in our home gym.Then when we are both hot and sweaty we have another workout in bed.Every day.There is a lot of laundry in our house.


Sweaty sex is the best sex, you lucky devil :laugh:


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WilliamM said:


> *
> One of the things we have observed over the years is that other couples watch television in the evening, or stuff like that. We retire to our room and start making out about the time other people might switch on the TV. I don't watch TV. My only entertainment is Mary. *



That is the key to happiness! Or the key to doom, however you want to look at it. 

I have never been a TV type person while my husband is in front of the TV every chance he gets, even brushing his teeth before he heads to work the damn TV is on. I remember even during our first months of marriage he sat in front of the TV whenever he was home and it bored the hall out of me. I would suggest a board game or playing cards and he would say no because he wanted to watch TV. I resisted getting a TV in the bedroom for years because I felt like TV was supposed to be down time entertainment and the bedroom was for rest.

Now we have a giant ass TV on the bedroom wall and when my husband is away traveling during the week it never gets turned on. I love the peace and tranquility of not having the damn TV constantly as back ground noise.





> 43 years. Pretty much every night. It's just fun. No goal orientation, no concern for anything other than pleasurable feelings for each other. Yes, used to pretty much lead to an orgasm for me every night sometime along the way. Mary has more.
> 
> I suspect if people were focused on orgasms more instead of just the raw sensual pleasure it would become boring. I've never gotten tired of feeling my hands gliding over her skin, or the touch of her lips grazing my eyelids.



You have an enviable marriage.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Well, our marriage was a mess until after the 6 and a half year mark. 

Before then we did spend time every day playing together, since we don't bother with any other entertainment, but there were a couple really bad years in there where it was not so loving. 

Mary is that nutty girl I've spoken about. But she's my nutty girl. We found a good synergy after 1980, where we're both actually happy.

I can't imagine any other entertainment worth bothering with.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

@WilliamM - we are not TV watches either (other than Saturday night when we watch it as a family). We didn't even own a TV until our children started school, and only then so they weren't considered weird with their peers.

We go to bed at 8pm, though we are doing stuff like forum checking or we play a game on the ipad, but we do chat a lot. I never really thought about sex and no TV. Really interesting point you made there.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

jaquen said:


> So wifey and myself, in general, like to have some kind of sexual activity together 3-4 times a week.
> 
> Lately, thanks to changing schedules, and a few body image and minor health issues with wifey, we're in a bit of a rut (for us), and over the last several months have been in the 1-2 times a week range. It's not terrible, but optimally we do prefer more.
> 
> ...




When I was young, teens and 20's, sex every day no problem and multiple times a day.


Today, realistically, sex every 2nd day and 3 to 4 days week or no sex with cuddling and everything else. A balance.


But could I still have sex every day? You bet. Just try a different position, or place, or technique every time. Possibilities are endless.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Daily here....for almost 12 years now. I'm 54 and H is 60. 

The sexy flirting never ends....there are loving words, compliments, sexy touches, sweet touches....all before 8 a.m. and it goes on all day long. 

We pretty much assume it will happen every day, unless one of us says otherwise. It's just an awesome connection at the end of the day. And to begin the day on the weekends!


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

We did finally buy a television set in 1977, after we had been married over 3 years. Mary was getting bored while I ignored her when I went back to school. School took more of my time than work had, and we had to move away from our home town, so she couldn't even talk to her sisters during the day. In those days phone calls cost a fortune. It was a little 13 inch, and she carried it home on her lap on the bus.

I guess typically of blooming relationships, I didn't really realize how bored she was. 

For years now we do watch one show in the evenings, as a compromise. When I get home from work, Mary streams The Price Is Right. She wants me to watch that with her every day just after 6 PM, when it's available for streaming. Then it's bedtime. 

Her surgeon said she isn't cleared for sex yet! Another two weeks. But she can exercise, so we have been exercising her all afternoon. I hope he meant that type of exercise...


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Married but Happy said:


> We've been having daily sex for most of the time we've been together (over 17 years now). In the first 5 years or so, twice a day was our norm, slowly slowing to once a day, and in the last few years we'll occasionally miss a day (but rarely two). We both make an effort to keep the frequency high, and as close to daily as we can - we both are happiest when we do. We've never been bored with sex, either. But we're both creative and keep changing things up in some way periodically, which helps greatly.


i don't mean to hyjack this thread - but can you share how you change things up to keep it from getting boring?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

@mary35, well, it's not something planned, it just seems to happen. We'll have a favorite position, and then we just try something different, and that becomes our new favorite for a few months. We might discover new uses for a piece of furniture, oral might figure much more prominently for a while, we'll add or remove a chair from the bedroom, or find a new music collection that alters the background mood until we find something else. Just changing the lighting or sides of the bed occasionally, seems to lead to a whole different set of exciting options. And we keep trying very minor changes (e.g., pressure, angle, etc.) based on the response we get, and that sometimes has led to a major discovery.


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## NickTheChemist (Apr 26, 2017)

jld said:


> Scheduled sex just sounds strange to me. I am constantly trying to connect emotionally with my husband, and sex just seems to flow from that, no schedule needed, lol. He is my foundation!
> 
> Sorry, that is probably not much help. Why do you think you are resisting her schedule idea?


I wish that my wife was this way 😔


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

NickTheChemist said:


> I wish that my wife was this way 😔


(((Nick)))


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I just like the spontaneity. It seems so rote, and somewhat uninteresting, to think "this Friday at 7 we must have sex". I could probably get into it eventually, but the thought of it seems so unsexy LOL.


You know what's even MORE unsexy? Feeling disconnected from your spouse because your marriage doesn't have enough physical intimacy.

I know the whole scheduling thing can be weird, but if you both have busy schedules, you NEED to make time for your relationship, for you to be together one on one and to be physically intimate. If the scheduling of sex seems too weird, then schedule couple time--and just spend that time together, focused on one another, and if you're feeling it, then the sex will happen. And sometimes, just knowing you're going to be having sex that night can get your engine going... unless your wife is like @ChargingCharlie's, and since she knows it's coming, she uses that as an opportunity to go on the defensive.

When my and my XH's schedules got complicated, I was concerned that we were beginning to lack in intimacy (both physical and emotional), and I wanted to schedule time to make sure that we were taking care of our relationship and nurturing our physical intimacy. He didn't want to because it would "ruin the spontaneity." Well, you know what happened? The sex completely dried up, and I found myself in a sexless marriage in which I was also emotionally neglected, because my XH couldn't bother to make any time for me.

Don't let that happen to you. I don't think you have to pursue daily sex to keep the relationship healthy. For some people, daily sex works really well for their relationship, but it's not for everyone. Aim for a weekly amount that makes both you and your wife happy.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

You'll be needing this...


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Wait, I thought coconut oil was the best thing since oxygen?


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> Wait, I thought coconut oil was the best thing since oxygen?


Coconut oil DURING the scene, Vitamin E is for aftercare...


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## NickTheChemist (Apr 26, 2017)

jld said:


> (((Nick)))


I respect your husband without knowing him because of what you say. I would have a lot to learn from him, I'm guessing. 

I am happy for you, and you guys me hope. You are in a place I aspire to be and believe I am working towards. It is helpful to read first hand from couples who have a healthy intimate relationship and desire to be close. 

Thank you. 

Can you be friends with my wife please? And let me go fishing with your husband and learn a bit? Lol


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

NickTheChemist said:


> I respect your husband without knowing him because of what you say. I would have a lot to learn from him, I'm guessing.
> 
> I am happy for you, and you guys me hope. You are in a place I aspire to be and believe I am working towards. It is helpful to read first hand from couples who have a healthy intimate relationship and desire to be close.
> 
> ...


You are sweet, Nick. And I really hope you and your wife can find happiness together. 

I especially appreciate your commitment to her and your children. Many men here seem willing to leave their families if their sexual desires are not satisfied. There is active encouragement given here towards that end, too.

That desire to leave may be understandable, but I do not find it admirable. I don't admire the approaches of threatening and demanding often encouraged here, either.

What I personally respect is the advice to inspire your wife by examining your own character and motives. 

Be the kind of man she cannot help but respect, Nick. Be the kind of man she cannot help but look up to. Be the kind of man at whose feet she finds herself falling, simply because she is overwhelmed by your integrity and goodness to her and your children.

I think you have gotten some book recommendations. I would like to add one to the list: _The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People_, by Stephen Covey. I think it is the best "marriage manual" out there.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

There was a time I NEEDED daily sex (would have been in heaven with 3 X a day).... this has passed... he did all he could, but I was pushing it... I had to calm my jets, so he could recoup...and thank God for that little blue pill ! 

For us, it's more of.. when we come together.. we both have the same mindset... WE WANT TO WORK IT UP... no greater pleasure, love getting lost in it... being the more frisky as we've gotten older.. I have come to appreciate his attitude : "Play with it [email protected]#"... he'd never turn THAT down! Our motto is: Who doesn't want an orgasm a day.. there is no more exhilarating exercise.. 

Our working schedules conflict now ... one thing I dearly appreciate about my husband is.. he's always willing to engage ANY TIME, so long as he's not too tired....middle of the night sex, waking him up for it, we've done this plenty...he's suggested it many times....morning sex, if there is time before work... bring it on.... if I am getting home at midnight.. he'll go to sleep earlier just so we'll have our time together...in this way.... working more hasn't slowed us down any.. 

Can't say it's daily, there is no quota.. but every opportunity to get him UP... I'm on it...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

WilliamM said:


> One of the things we have observed over the years is that other couples watch television in the evening, or stuff like that. We retire to our room and start making out about the time other people might switch on the TV. I don't watch TV. My only entertainment is Mary.


 We have a TV in our bedroom & shut the kids out... this hasn't been a hindrance to our sex lives...

We've enjoyed some porn together too , on occasion....in the past when my drive was lesser... one thing was a given.. if a HOT scene came on...I'd be all over him...

Really, it doesn't matter what we put on.. it's how we lay together... I lay my head on his navel... my hands all over his erogenous zones...his fingers through my hair, down my arms... we crave this nightly affection / closeness....wanting it to lead to more, awakening the Erotic.....when that happens.. its time for the Tv to be switched off... Pleasure time takes all precedence over what was on..


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## Buxton (May 28, 2017)

As with anything done on a daily basis, daily sex can become monotonous. Spurious sex is much better...


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## Remee81 (May 24, 2017)

WilliamM said:


> We did finally buy a television set in 1977, after we had been married over 3 years. Mary was getting bored while I ignored her when I went back to school. School took more of my time than work had, and we had to move away from our home town, so she couldn't even talk to her sisters during the day. In those days phone calls cost a fortune. It was a little 13 inch, and she carried it home on her lap on the bus.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Lord I remember that, had my surgery in November. Was home from the hospital the day before thanksgiving. My poor DH was going crazy! After we were finally cleared, we laugh cause he says it's like having sex with a virgin again, it takes him like five minutes to even be able to enter me  but we r finding ways to make that easier, and our frequency varies from every day to every two days. We didn't yesterday but have the four days in a row before that. He worked late and I had a scheduled walk at the state park with my sister which usually lasts three hours from me leaving the house and coming back home. So exhaustion on both our parts made it a cuddle in bed and pass out evening. He's already started the sexting this morning, so I think it was just a one day miss, or at least I hope so  it's never planned, one of us just initiates. Either light touches from me while I have my head on his lap watching tv, or he will just outright get rough in many different ways. Yes, it's often every day, but not always. We skip a day or two here and there, scheduling wouldn't work for us, we like the spontaneity. 


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Buxton said:


> As with anything done on a daily basis, daily sex can become monotonous. Spurious sex is much better...


I've been eating every day of my life and still haven't grown tired of it.

Also, spurious means "fake".


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## Buxton (May 28, 2017)

Fozzy said:


> I've been eating every day of my life and still haven't grown tired of it.
> 
> Also, spurious means "fake".


Yes, sorry, meant to say spontaneous rather than spurious. With regards to you eating daily, and not getting bored of it, what about eating food...?:toast::nerd:


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Fozzy said:


> I've been eating every day of my life and still haven't grown tired of it.


I eat everyday too, but it's not the same exact food every single day, day in and day out. Food is a necessity, sex is not.

I agree with Buxton and think daily sex would get real monotonous after awhile.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I eat everyday too, but it's not the same exact food every single day, day in and day out. Food is a necessity, sex is not.
> 
> I agree with Buxton and think daily sex would get real monotonous after awhile.


Sure, if you do the same stuff every time. More than one way to make a sammich. 

Yeah, food is a necessity and sex is not, but I actually LIKE food, regardless of it being a necessity. I don't just eat to survive, I enjoy cooking new kinds of food, learning how to refine my dishes, and making other people as well as my self happy with my food. It's fun. I think sex can be the same with the right mindset.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I apologize I've only read about 1/2 the thread. I have experience with daily sex. After 23 years of blissful marriage we communicated a little better and discovered we both liked sex more often then we were having it. This morphed into daily sex often times 2x on sat and sun.

But we didn't plan it or force it there are days we take off. However he's more into initiating now that he realizes there's a good chance it's going to happen. We have had to up the variety but we are really enjoying it.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I eat everyday too, but it's not the same exact food every single day, day in and day out. Food is a necessity, sex is not.
> 
> I agree with Buxton and think daily sex would get real monotonous after awhile.


We have been at it daily for pretty much 6 tears now and it isn't monotonous, maybe because we are super compatible with our styles, likes and desire for each other.

I have a saying that I used to tell my kids when they were younger and tried the whole "I'm bored" thing on me..... "only boring people get bored." Here is an adaptation "only monotonous people find daily sex monotonous." >


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> I've been eating every day of my life and still haven't grown tired of it.


But I doubt that you eat chicken every time.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Sex is a necessity. Food, water, and sex. That's what I told my wife when we dated. And I said the relative importance was sex, water, food.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I eat everyday too, but it's not the same exact food every single day, day in and day out. Food is a necessity, sex is not.
> 
> I agree with Buxton and think daily sex would get real monotonous after awhile.


You just contradicted your own point. Of course you don't eat the same thing every day... in part because it would become monotonous. In that regard, it being a necessity is beside the point. You try to mix it up to improve the enjoyment level. 

So why would you assume sex would become monotonous? Sure, if you did it by the same routine in the same position at the same time every day, that would get monotonous. But there's so much more variety available, just as there is with food.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

I never quite get the food and sex analogy but do find amusement when people talk about pizza. Being a vego there is very limited choice with pizza but I still enjoy eating it. 

One thing MrH wants to do but we haven't got around to it is to incorporate food with sex. Mental note *put whipped cream on the shopping list this weekend.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

MrsHolland said:


> I never quite get the food and sex analogy but do find amusement when people talk about pizza. Being a vego there is very limited choice with pizza but I still enjoy eating it.
> 
> One thing MrH wants to do but we haven't got around to it is to incorporate food with sex. Mental note *put whipped cream on the shopping list this weekend.


Try this.Warm some chocolate in the microwave until it is really soft but not melted.Get your husband to draw a trail on you with the chocolate and then lick it off without removing his tongue.
You may want to use some old sheets or else do it in the shower.😜😜😜😜


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

MrsHolland said:


> I never quite get the food and sex analogy but do find amusement when people talk about pizza. Being a vego there is very limited choice with pizza but I still enjoy eating it.
> 
> One thing MrH wants to do but we haven't got around to it is to incorporate food with sex. Mental note *put whipped cream on the shopping list this weekend.


Have tried this a bunch of times with all different kinds of foods, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc.

It always just ends up a sticky mess and not very fun. 

So now we will tease each other with the food as foreplay (feed each other strawberries, then rub one on my girl parts, stuff like that). Then quickly rinse off in the shower if necessary because the stickiness isn't helpful to getting it on.

Though one fun one that doesn't make a mess (unless you're already drunk) is having a mouthful of wine and then slowly transferring it into your partner's mouth. Also there's a way he can drink it with a straw out of your coochie but that move takes a lot of practice.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Cognac also works very well for the above use case...


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Andy1001 said:


> Try this.Warm some chocolate in the microwave until it is really soft but not melted.Get your husband to draw a trail on you with the chocolate and then lick it off without removing his tongue.
> You may want to use some old sheets or else do it in the shower.&#55357;&#56860;&#55357;&#56860;&#55357;&#56860;&#55357;&#56860;


Watched this last weekend and I cried laughing






"mousse from a bowl is very nice but to put it on a person is just demented"


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## NickTheChemist (Apr 26, 2017)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We have a TV in our bedroom & shut the kids out... this hasn't been a hindrance to our sex lives...
> 
> We've enjoyed some porn together too , on occasion....in the past when my drive was lesser... one thing was a given.. if a HOT scene came on...I'd be all over him...
> 
> Really, it doesn't matter what we put on.. it's how we lay together... I lay my head on his navel... my hands all over his erogenous zones...his fingers through my hair, down my arms... we crave this nightly affection / closeness....wanting it to lead to more, awakening the Erotic.....when that happens.. its time for the Tv to be switched off... Pleasure time takes all precedence over what was on..


So happy for you--this is s beautiful thing


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

NickTheChemist said:


> So happy for you--this is s beautiful thing


 It's things like this, you know you're going to come home to, whatever happens in our stress filled day, on the job, with the kids, etc ... we have THIS ...it's a great stress reliever - it's connecting.. it's many things really.. 

"Touch" has always been my husband's primary  Love Language  .... when we met.. I feel his touch brought me out of my shell even, I felt his care/ love .. not really understanding all that back then.. but it was my top love language too... 

So yeah...it makes sense this is a great enjoyment for us..


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Have tried this a bunch of times with all different kinds of foods, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc.
> 
> It always just ends up a sticky mess and not very fun.
> 
> ...


You have to be careful with stuff in the "coochie." 1) The female partner can absorb alcohol via her vaginal lining, and 2) I don't know this for sure, but I have a feeling that putting food items up there could mess with the ph balance and the bacteria, which could result in a yeast infection.

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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

MrsHolland said:


> I never quite get the food and sex analogy but do find amusement when people talk about pizza. Being a vego there is very limited choice with pizza but I still enjoy eating it.
> 
> One thing MrH wants to do but we haven't got around to it is to incorporate food with sex. Mental note *put whipped cream on the shopping list this weekend.


And caramel, and peanut butter, and hot fudge, soooooooooooooo many possibilities!:grin2:


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

Yes and it was great for us for decades.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It's things like this, you know you're going to come home to, whatever happens in our stress filled day, on the job, with the kids, etc ... we have THIS ...it's a great stress reliever - it's connecting.. it's many things really..
> 
> "Touch" has always been my husband's primary  Love Language  .... when we met.. I feel his touch brought me out of my shell even, I felt his care/ love .. not really understanding all that back then.. but it was my top love language too...
> 
> So yeah...it makes sense this is a great enjoyment for us..


This.

When we close the bedroom door at night, we shut out the world, snuggle and KNOW that its going to be loving, sexy, fun, and exhausting..... every night. 

If something is so awesome, why wouldn't you want that and want to share that every day???

Which is why I don't quite get the "after kids the sex goes away". Nope, shut the door and destress, relax, feel loved and wanted, experience that pleasure that makes even crappy days alright. And KNOWING that this is always a possibility/reality is destressing in itself!


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