# How to divorce a cheater



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

I didn't want to take another thread in a different direction, so I am making this one.

In listening to a cheating wife talking about wanting to divorce, but wanting alimony, I'll tell you what happened in my divorce. 

I put this in CWI because her cheating made me bound and determined to not give her any more than the entitled 50% of marital assets.


I had a bulldog of an attorney. As anyone that has been through a divorce might know, usually when the first letter from the other spouses attorney comes in, that spouse is asking for EVERYTHING. This is a stupid lawyer's trick.

When I first saw it I went nuts. My attorney told me to calm down that she isn't getting half the stuff they are asking for. That is just where they start and you negotiate down from there.

He told me, "this is going to be my strategy" since she was asking for alimony, the house and all equity, yadda yadda yadda.
His strategy was to waste her attorneys time, while using very little resources that he wouldn't be billing me for.

So what he did, with each meeting, her and her attorney would present their ridiculous list of demands. 
He'd look at them for about 30 seconds, pass it back over to her attorney and simply said, "No" to everything on the list, and to "come back when its reasonable, this meeting is over"

So he'd bill me for about 10 minutes of time, while her attorney would end up having to bill her for an hour or two because he now had to go back and spend time to revise it..

He'd call my attorney later, 5 minutes billed to me, list off the demands, my attorney says, "still no"....back to the drawing board for her attorney...another good hour of billable time.

So finally she ended up telling me and her attorney that she can't afford to go back and forth any more. The my attorney said, "no alimony, house goes to my client, 1/2 of what little equity in it goes to your client, payable by adding to the amount coming out of my retirement, which wasn't much since we weren't married that many years".

Done deal. They tried to get me to pay her attorneys fees. Guess what my attorneys answer was? :rofl:

So the long and short of it, my attorney was going to waste their time until they stopped being greedy and stupid. 

Anyone else got some good divorce stories when they got rid of their cheating POS spouses?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Divorce is often a war of attrition more than anything. The fundamentals of divorce 50/50 split is a pretty simple concept yet after all the years of schooling lawyers still cant figure out math. 

Her attorney takes the bulldog approach to maximize his billing and each offer he sends gets dumber than the previous. When we agree then suddenly team stbx wants more and we don’t agree. I have a simple divorce that can never get done. 

She has made up so many mystery assets that just don’t exist at all she has done is run herself out of money. I have stacks of official discover requests etc that her lawyer has wasted time on. 

At least I have comfort knowing she lies to everyone and not just me.


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## Calibre1212 (Aug 11, 2014)

I find this info useful. It has been almost 5 months since I filed. My X2B hasn't retained an attorney but has an attorney-clinic "helping him". All my lawyer says is that "he has a strong case". To which I have said: "He hasn't retained an attorney, I have you and am paying you to tell me he has a strong case?" Is something wrong with this picture?


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

vellocet said:


> I didn't want to take another thread in a different direction, so I am making this one.
> 
> In listening to a cheating wife talking about wanting to divorce, but wanting alimony, I'll tell you what happened in my divorce.
> 
> ...


I loathe lawyers, but yours seems like the mang. So glad you came out on top, brother.

My stbxw signed off on no alimony. At least she spared me that. She did alright though, but keeps saying she doesn't want to burn me financially. Small miracles.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

My STBXW's attorney is/was doing the same thing. Each version of our separation agreement barely changed. Maybe a few words here and there. But nothing we had talked about. This stalling ate through about 20k with my attorney. Im sure it was about the same for her. The end result? Nothing!!! My attorney has not done anything since Feb. 2014. Havent received a bill since then. He even allowed the one year deadline to laps even after I reminded him a number of times of the deadline. The result. The court dismissed my divorce petition. Now, Im in the process of retaining another one, and refiling. I have to almost start all over again. If I had done this to my STBXW they would throw the book at me. 

This is all for divorcing a serial cheater, who deserted my sons and I, along with all the bills. This should not be this difficult.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Well the lesson in this all is, the more you feel the need to contact your attorney, the more you get charged. Each call? Probably a minimum of 5 minutes. Each email, 5 minutes.

I never contacted my lawyer during the divorce. I let him contact me when necessary. That kept the costs down.

My x-wife on the other hand tried to hard to screw me, and her billable hours went through the roof.

I wasn't in a hurry to get the divorce, I knew it would happen. So I wasn't frantic and had to contact him every other day to find out what was going on. Was going to let him handle it and told him, "do what you have to do".


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