# I am probably being petty, but...



## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

So I am on Facebook earlier today. You know how sometimes they suggest friends for you? Well today, out of the blue, it suggested that I might want to friend the man my wife had an affair with in 2008. We have no mutual friends whatsoever, so I am not sure why it chose him to recommend as a friend. 

Anyway, I am angry all over again. It makes me want to friend his WIFE and then tell her what they did 6 years ago. I'm sure she doesn't know. I am at a loss here and my blood is BOILING!


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Don't do it. You don't need to relive that hurt any longer than a moment. Move on! I'm sure it's hard, but you can of you try.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

moogvo said:


> So I am on Facebook earlier today. You know how sometimes they suggest friends for you? Well today, out of the blue, it suggested that I might want to friend the man my wife had an affair with in 2008. We have no mutual friends whatsoever, so I am not sure why it chose him to recommend as a friend.
> 
> Anyway, I am angry all over again. It makes me want to friend his WIFE and then tell her what they did 6 years ago. I'm sure she doesn't know. I am at a loss here and my blood is BOILING!


Hmm... that likely means that you do indeed have some friends in common. It could be that some of your friends have disallowed the setting that permits others -- even friends -- to see their list of friends.

Do the two of you work in a similar industry? Do you live in the same town? Did you go to the same high school or college?

ETA: Are you able to access your wife's FB account?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

One day you may look back on that and laugh.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Hmm... that likely means that you do indeed have some friends in common. It could be that some of your friends have disallowed the setting that permits others -- even friends -- to see their list of friends.
> 
> Do the two of you work in a similar industry? Do you live in the same town? Did you go to the same high school or college?


Gus is right. FB will suggest any friggin blowhard that is on your friends friend list. It is annoying as you have found out.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I just looked through your other threads. Is there any chance that your anger is in some part due to the fact that you never found out whether or not your children are actually your _biological_ children?

Does your daughter -- or, Hell, _any_ of your kids -- look at all like OM?


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

GusPolinski said:


> Hmm... that likely means that you do indeed have some friends in common. It could be that some of your friends have disallowed the setting that permits others -- even friends -- to see their list of friends.
> 
> Do the two of you work in a similar industry? Do you live in the same town? Did you go to the same high school or college?


No, I am not in the same industry, we share no past like schools, towns that we lived in, etc. The only person we have in common is my wife, which leads me to believe that one of them has contacted the other on facebook. They are not on each other's facebook friends lists but In the millions of random people it has to select from... Him? Naaa. There has to be more to it than random luck... Especially 6 years after the fact...


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

moogvo said:


> So I am on Facebook earlier today. You know how sometimes they suggest friends for you? Well today, out of the blue, it suggested that I might want to friend the man my wife had an affair with in 2008. We have no mutual friends whatsoever, so* I am not sure why it chose him to recommend as a friend*.
> 
> Anyway, I am angry all over again. It makes me want to friend his WIFE and then tell her what they did 6 years ago. I'm sure she doesn't know. I am at a loss here and my blood is BOILING!


If at any point you checked his FB profile, FB will recognize that and suggest him as friends.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

moogvo said:


> No, I am not in the same industry, we share no past like schools, towns that we lived in, etc. The only person we have in common is my wife, which leads me to believe that one of them has contacted the other on facebook. They are not on each other's facebook friends lists but In the millions of random people it has to select from... Him? Naaa. There has to be more to it than random luck... Especially 6 years after the fact...


I would agree. 

BTW...you are not being petty in my book as you might think with the title of your post.


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

GusPolinski said:


> I just looked through your other threads. Is there any chance that your anger is in some part due to the fact that you never found out whether or not your children are actually your _biological_ children?
> 
> Does your daughter -- or, Hell, _any_ of your kids -- look at all like OM?


Actually, I am completely positive that I am the biological father of each one of my kids.

Also, yes, I do have access to her account. I looked through and didn't see any suspect requests or conversations... Not that they couldn't have been deleted...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

moogvo said:


> Actually, I am completely positive that I am the biological father of each one of my kids.


Ah... very good. Apologies.



moogvo said:


> Also, yes, I do have access to her account. I looked through and didn't see any suspect requests or conversations... Not that they couldn't have been deleted...


Hmm. Given the tone in your initial post, I'm assuming that you've noted nothing in the way of suspicious behavior from your wife...?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

moogvo said:


> Actually, I am completely positive that I am the biological father of each one of my kids.
> 
> Also, yes, I do have access to her account. I looked through and didn't see any suspect requests or conversations... Not that they couldn't have been deleted...


I wonder if someone creeping your page would make FB send this friend suggestion? 

In other words, I creep Gus's page. Next thing he knows he gets a friend suggestion from Joe Crap who was creeping the page.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Not Petty....just triggered.


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

Yeah, no problem Gus. No, I don't suspect my wife of anything. I was originally thinking that he may have looked her up and sent her a message on fb, which it interpreted as someone I may be interested in since we are married... I don't know what the secret formula is that it uses to generate friends for you. I just find it very strange that 6 years (almost to the day) from the last time I spoke to him on the phone and he shows up on my suggested friends. Maybe he is creeping on my page. I need to experiment with that... Either way, it took about 2 seconds for a decent day to go to hell in a handbasket.


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## Tikori (Dec 28, 2014)

ne9907 said:


> If at any point you checked his FB profile, FB will recognize that and suggest him as friends.



I second this comment, because I have had people show up on my recommendations list when I have looked them up just once. Also I have a ton show up where we have no mutual friends, locations, schools, jobs, literally nothing at all linking us. I think it may have something to do with facebook messing with their algorithms though.

Now in all seriousness though I do know how you feel, one of the women my husband cheated on me with (really the main one) showed up today on my recommended list and my heart dropped like a stone. I felt like I was getting the tunnel vision of rage within seconds. We do have two mutual friends so I am assuming that's why. 

If you think it's because your wife has contacted him, I would consider going on her account and blocking him. If she wanted she could unblock him, send messages, delete the activity and then re-block him, but Facebook now requires you to wait 48 hours before you can re-block someone aka enough time for you to see he suddenly isn't blocked anymore and isn't that suspicious?

Just a suggestion, my sympathies are with you though.


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

Going by some suggestions I've gotten, i think Facebook's algorithm includes friends of friends. 
So if you're friends with Bob, he's friends with Joe, and Joe is friends with OM, Facebook thinks you have people in common.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

If I'm not mistaken FB will advise others on your friend list that you have become friends with someone. In other words, if my W friends Joe Sh1t the rag picker my FB page will show W is now friends with Joe Sh!t the rag picker. I'm not sure how it handles unfriending, friending then unfriending again.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You are not even close to petty. His wife deserves to know anyway.

You have way more self control than I.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that.girl (Aug 27, 2014)

Yeswecan said:


> If I'm not mistaken FB will advise others on your friend list that you have become friends with someone. In other words, if my W friends Joe Sh1t the rag picker my FB page will show W is now friends with Joe Sh!t the rag picker. I'm not sure how it handles unfriending, friending then unfriending again.


I think this only happens if you're friends with both people involved.


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## sammy7111 (Apr 19, 2014)

You are your wife has been looking him up that's how it works
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

sammy7111 said:


> You are your wife has been looking him up that's how it works
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not necessarily.

I get a friend suggestion all the time for a person I cannot stand and never look at...we have mutual friends and have attended similar events and places, so she pops up all the time, and I bet I do for her as well. 

Don't go looking for smoke where there is no fire....


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

If they have their friends list locked down, you will not see mutual friends. Also, I believe it somehow links back to texts and email contacts...With that info now in FB, it could suggest friends from those aspects.


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