# Male analog to a Fitness Test



## Weminuche (Nov 30, 2011)

Hi All,

I'm new and learning. Boy have I been blowing it on this topic! I think the light bulbs are starting to come on though.

I am the type of person that needs to understand something deeply to feel like I have any understanding of it it at all. 

I have heard of this "testing" concept before, but I could never get my head wrapped around it....make sense of it As I said though, I think the light bulbs are starting to come on. Take a look at this and give me your thoughts.

It seems to me that a fitness test is about Respect and Value.

Do you have so little respect for yourself that you will allow yourself to be treated this way?

- If you value yourself so little, why should I value you?
- If you have so little self-respect, why would I have any for you?
- If you value _me_ so much that you are afraid to confront me, for fear of loosing me, maybe I could have done a lot better than you. If not, why would you value me, more than I value you?

I find it hard to believe that these test by women would be a fully conscious decision, and I do not think Men do these "tests" in the same way a woman does. Which makes them hard to grasp. 

It always helps to have an analog for yourself that naturally makes sense to YOU. 

So are there things that a man does naturally, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes semi-consciously that, depending on how she responds, could cause him to loose respect for her and value her less, bec she doesn't seem to value herself very much.

I think it could be many things, but I think this will communicate the idea. Guys like to do things that by their nature may not include their girl: play golf, go fishing, hang out with their buddies, watch sports, play video games....whatever. A good woman will understand this and not give him grief about it, but what it it starts to get to the point where he's truly taking advantage of her and being selfish?

She is being tested?

If she just puts up with it, she fails the test and he looses respect for her and will value her less.

If she lets him know he has gone too far, and that she wont put up with it, she can pass the test. If she is smooth and can get him to see the truth and value in it without a lot of drama, she gets an A+ from me.

Or maybe in her state of irritation and feeling neglected , she gives us: 

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW where the damn dirty clothes hamper is?!?!" 

Was this some weird diabolical pre-meditated scheming plan to test our manhood? 

No, she is just feeling irritated/stressed and lashed out over something that pushed a button with her. 

Now we are being tested. If our response to the "test" turns it into an emotion half-hour 2-way yelling argument about who does what when, some stuff you did last year, and a maybe little "poor me" attitude thrown in....what do we get. Fail 1.

Or maybe you apologized profusely, picked your stuff up and promised not to do it again....but the source of the irritation hasnt actually been addressed, so this definitely isnt over yet. She pitched a fit and overreacted and deep down she knows this, but guess what, it worked in some sense. You picked your stuff up, and she now has some sense of power back...and over you. So where are we now? She is not only still mad at you for neglecting her, she has now lost some respect for you. Fail 2

A vicious cycle / negative feedback loop starts, and it has the potential to send the relationship spiraling down. Guy decides that she is a overly emotional irrational nagger, so he avoids her which irritates her more so she...so he... Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Just to be clear, I dont think that a guy would have to act improperly to get some of these tests from women now and then. In other words, I know better than to think it's within our power to prevent them. What we have is the power to choose our response to them, but I can see how being a bad partner could bring on more of them. 

Anyway, I'm new at this, so let me know what you think....other than that this post is way to frigging long!


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