# can one love again?



## Harris

This question may sound stupid but I nedd to ask. 

If you get heartbroken by someone you truly love with ur whole heart , is it possible to love again someone else THE SAME ?


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## JDPreacher

Yes, and even better...

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## johnamos

Harris, beyond your wildest dreams just be careful of the wounded pup syndrome.

Take it slow, be careful not to cling.


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## dcrim

I could have asked that very question! 

I'm glad to see that people think it's possible! But I know it will take some time to heal...

I want to be able to feel that love again with someone who deserves it.


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## Rhea

This gives me hope because it looks like I'm not going to get the outcome I'd hoped for and right now I cannot even fathom being interested in anyone else let alone loving someone else. I still have a daily issue w/not seeing or talking to my H it kills...maybe one day I'll be able to let go but it's not happening anytime soon. It just feels so wrong. I wish I could get him to realize what a big mistake he's making before doing it....sigh I )(@#($(*#@$&*(#& (lots of foul language) hate this!


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## voivod

Harris said:


> This question may sound stupid but I nedd to ask.
> 
> If you get heartbroken by someone you truly love with ur whole heart , is it possible to love again someone else THE SAME ?


y'know love is funny...if you have more than one child...think about this: remember when you had only one, the the second one came along and you wondered "how can i possibly love (child 2) as much as i love (child 1)???" and guess what? you found a way to love your second child every bit as much as your first, right???

so, if there is newfound love...it may never be the same as the lost love, but you'll have it, i think.


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## marina72

Oh the answer I think is an overwhelming Yes! 

You can, and will love again....


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## Harris

Thanks for encouragement Preacher and Marina. They say time heals everything. 

But at this moment my pain is huge. Besides that she recently asked me when should we sign for divorce, she is also being unusually mean to me. All my hopes for reuniting have faded away. But whatever I do and wherever I go, everything reminds me of her. 

I am 30. Suffered from severe anxieties more than half of my life. She and the child were the only good thing that ever happened to me.

I am a failure. I just don't know if I am too old to try again from zero.


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## marina72

don't think that way! You're only 30 years old... that's younger than me! I'm 35 and I don't think I'm old. You are most definitely Not too old to start again... and to find love again.

You're never too old in fact. My Mom didn't find her long time boyfriend till she was 49... and she is happy. Although she never remarried after my Dad, she's loved again. She had many relationships along the way also, and was happy with those people too.

I know when you've just lost someone you love, it can feel like someone has died. And essentially, you're grieving for that relationship... so it's the same kind of feeling of loss...

But, time truly does heal all wounds. Or at the very least, makes them bearable. You're not a failure. We've all had times in our lives where we felt like you do. 

But, try to gain some perspective and remember that maybe this is the way it's supposed to be.

Everything they say, happens for a reason. And once you've healed, you will have to close that door, so that you can see the new one that opens. And your child, will always be your child. 

You might not love in the next month, or even year... it depends on you, and what you want. I would actually suggest taking some time for yourself, to be alone, to really decide what it is you want in life. 

Give yourself some time to heal, and don't jump into another relationship right after this one, that way, when you are ready to date again.. you'll be free and clear, and ready for love. 

And it's kind of true what they say, that sometimes love finds you, when you least expect it, when you're not even looking. 

Just try to get through this time in your life, and look to the future. You never know what it holds. But it will hold love again, if you want it to.


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## preso

Harris said:


> This question may sound stupid but I nedd to ask.
> 
> If you get heartbroken by someone you truly love with ur whole heart , is it possible to love again someone else THE SAME ?



yes, its possible BUT heres the thing...
get heartbroken too many times and it will eat away at your ability to love, trust YOURSELF not to mention anyone else..

so be careful where you love and don't give too much to someone who isn't worthy.
Don't make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them.
Love carefully, don't be so eager to give your heart to someone...
wait and heal, work on your relationship with yourself.


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## tofindme

Wow I could be asking the same question myself ... I just feel so heartbroken and grieving for my relationship. I know it will never be the same as it was and am not even sure it can be saved at this point. I know that it does take time to heal and grow so be easy on yourself, be kind to you. I am trying to do the same with me and I know at times it is difficult but hang in there. This site seems like a great one to give support to one another and I am glad that I found it


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## Deejo

The ability and capacity to love is intrinsic to _you_ - it isn't something that your partner creates in you.

You have it, and decide to give it to somebody.

When it works the way it's supposed to, you have 2 people that truly appreciate what they have been _given_ by their partner. It's mutual, it is sustaining, it is healthy and balanced.

And yep, whether you believe it at this moment or not, you will share it with someone else again.


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## azilin

Harris said:


> This question may sound stupid but I nedd to ask.
> 
> If you get heartbroken by someone you truly love with ur whole heart , is it possible to love again someone else THE SAME ?


What do you mean by "the same"?

If you mean, with as much intensity ... yes, it's possible.

If you mean, in exactly the same ways and for exactly the same things, no. And you should hope not, because everyone is different, and you need to love someone for who they are, not as a replacement or substitute for your ex.

I've been married, divorced, married, widowed, and now in love with a woman with whom it looks like it's not going to work out. Along the way, the biggest problem for me has been that I've lost all my illusions. It's hardened me. I know better than most that nothing is forever, nothing is for sure. At some point, love becomes something you don't hope as much in nor feel as secure in. And that's too bad. Maybe not all bad -- but certainly, not all good. I feel diminished. And tired.


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## Nekko

If you'll allow it, sure. Love isn't a consumable, you don't run out of it and you don't have a certain amount of it. When you find a decent person, allow yourself to trust that person and hope for the best, sure, love will happen again.


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