# Ladies, What Would You Do?



## JerryA (Jul 27, 2015)

Hello, everyone. I have a question as to what you would do in this case. I'm 30, my wife is 28. We are acquainted with a group of older men who gather occasionally to play cards or dominoes and so forth. We know most of them through family friends, etc. Some are married, some widowed, etc. They get together at one of their homes and if that man has a wife, she is usually there plus another wife or two, possibly. They came up with an idea that they would like to have a server of non-alcoholic drinks and snacks. They have collectively asked my wife to fill this role. They have requested that she do so while wearing a swimsuit; nothing racy or anything, just whatever she is comfortable with. a one-piece is fine. I think it's obvious that this is for the visual enjoyment of these guys. She at first didn't want to do it, being a modest person and saying she has put on too many pounds, etc., plus would feel like a spectacle in her swimsuit while everyone else was in street clothes. After being encouraged by some friends and assured there was nothing wrong with it, she started to like the idea. She has even bought a new one-piece suit for the occasion. She was convinced by other people that she should be a good sport and help make these guys' gathering more enjoyable. Although I have no security issues with this, she is known to be a very sociable 'hugger' type. Although she hasn't directly said so, I believe she is viewing this as sort of a 'dare' that she normally wouldn't do. My questions to the ladies are: a) Would you accept this role? b) If you were not inclined to do so due to being older, out of shape, etc., would you go ahead with it in order to 'make their day? c) Would your husband/boyfriend mind if you accept? d) Would you be comfortable serving in a swimsuit? e) Does the possibility there is a bit of a 'dare to be bare' element to it make sense from a female's standpoint? f) Is it appropriate for a married lady to accept this request knowing that these men will be admiring her curves? I know this is a lot of questions, but she knows I'm posting them to see what other women think.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Can you clear up some things? 

You do not attend these events do you? So your wife would be there without you, right?

How often do they want your wife to do this? 

Are they going to pay her? If so is it at least minimum wage?

Is there a man in the group who seems to pay a lot of attention to your wife?

I'll respond after you post the answers.


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## JerryA (Jul 27, 2015)

I am invited to attend with her, but we haven't discussed whether I would do so. As far as I know it's just for one time, and I haven't heard whether they intend to pay her. I did get the impression it was just a fun thing for them and as far as I know she is just helping out some friends. I'm not aware of any particular man having an interest in her in a romantic way.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Thanks for the answers. 

I would not do it. It's kind of creepy really. You know what it sounds like to me? A bet. Like they set up a bet on whether or not they could talk one of the wives or your wife into doing this.

If they want someone to serve them and be eye candy, there are women who do this for a living. They will show up in a maid costume or anything else or nothing at all.

I would tell them no.

If I had some extra $$ laying around, I can think of some funny things to do like hire a male stripper to show up in your wife's place.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

My husband and I are the same ages as you and your wife, and I'd not be comfortable with that sort of thing. My SO probably wouldn't mind, but I'm not willing to put myself on display just to make some guys' day, especially guys that are also married. 
I'd have told them no.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Super creepy and weird.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

No, no, & no! Where is your wife's dignity and where is your pride?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Good God no! I wouldn't do it, and no way would I allow another woman to do it in my house!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

My questions to the ladies are: 
a) Would you accept this role? No
b) If you were not inclined to do so due to being older, out of shape, etc., would you go ahead with it in order to 'make their day? No, it's really not my responsibility to entertain them
c) Would your husband/boyfriend mind if you accept? Yes
d) Would you be comfortable serving in a swimsuit? No
e) Does the possibility there is a bit of a 'dare to be bare' element to it make sense from a female's standpoint? No
f) Is it appropriate for a married lady to accept this request knowing that these men will be admiring her curves? It matters not that she is married. It is demeaning. I also wouldn't work in a titty bar or a strip joint for the same reason, regardless of how good I felt about my body. I'm not a piece of meat.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Indeed, intheory, it does feel a bit that way. 

Though some guys get off on sharing their partner around so I've heard. Maybe he's that way inclined. Personally glad my partner isn't. What a turn off that would be.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Hell NO.

This sounds creepy and weird. Who the hell suggested this stupid idea?
How dare your so call friends suggest that your wife fulfill this role.
Maybe, their wife should do it.

What are they expecting an old folks gangbang?

Tell your wife NO. You should not be ok with the hairbrained idea.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

These guys are something but they sure as hell aren't your friends. You're an idiot if you think it's cool for any man or group of men to disrespect you and your wife like this.

You're even a bigger idiot if your lack of respect for your own wife doesn't come back to haunt you. How can she possibly respect a husband that wouldn't punch out the bunch of them. Don't be surprised if she doesn't start looking for a more manly man.

They're playing you both for fools.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I am not a woman but here goes: 

First of all it is creepy and degrading so no I would not encourage my wife to do it.

Second it is rude and presumptious of them to ask (do you really know them that well).


And third (and this is just me and I can be a mean sob with a quick temper), but I would suggest that one of them asks their sister or mother to do it.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

No. Creepy of them to ask and not classy of your wife if she says yes.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

a) Would you accept this role?

*No way.*

b) If you were not inclined to do so due to being older, out of shape, etc., would you go ahead with it in order to 'make their day?

*Not under any circumstances.*

c) Would your husband/boyfriend mind if you accept?

*My SO would probably joke about "dirty old men" ... then remind me that I'd be doing this for a single reason: old man eye candy. I'm sure he would not be at all okay with this.*

d) Would you be comfortable serving in a swimsuit?

*Sure, if I were in 50 Cent's abode and that was my job and I was getting tons of $$ for... never mind. No, I'd never be comfortable.*

e) Does the possibility there is a bit of a 'dare to be bare' element to it make sense from a female's standpoint?

*Depends on the woman. It makes sense to me from the perspective that if I felt insecure or challenged by the "dare," I may act by doing exactly what they want. I see the dare as a game which I would win simply by not playing it.*

f) Is it appropriate for a married lady to accept this request knowing that these men will be admiring her curves?

*No. And you'd be a married man with very uncertain boundaries if you let her fulfill this request. It's one thing if you go on vacation at a beach and you're both together.... but it is a slippery slope allowing other men to enjoy what is meant for your eyes only in an environment where you are very much NOT the center of her attention.*


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

JerryA said:


> Bunch of creepy guys want to perve on my Wife.















Next question....


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

No, I wouldn't do it. At your W's age I had far better things to do with my time than use my scantily clad body to entertain a bunch of older men whilst they played cards / dominoes. Why does she want to do this?

And more to the point, why would you be OK with your W titillating these guys' imaginations in this way?


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

I'm not a women but I am a husband. 

NO! period. 

Not my wife.. not ever. 

I do not share well. Never have never will. 

BTW - My wife has way to much self respect to allow herself to be used in such a manner.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Wonder how these older men would treat her after she did this, and the husband too. I bet she'd be getting arse slaps and crude comments forever more, and he'd be seen as a weak beta boy and laughed at behind his back.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I don't get it, if some older men posed such a question to my husband.....somebody would get hit in the mouth for saying some dumb a$$ $hit like that. I would never degrade myself in such a fashion & those men who made this request of your wife are NOT your friends in any shape or form. WTF!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

JustTired said:


> I don't get it, if some older men posed such a question to my husband.....somebody would get hit in the mouth for saying some dumb a$$ $hit like that. I would never degrade myself in such a fashion & *those men who made this request of your wife are NOT your friends in any shape or form.* WTF!


Which raises a very good point. What sort of older men would even suggest this to their younger friends? Surely they have to realize that this could cause friction between the couple...


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Thanks for the answers.
> 
> I would not do it. It's kind of creepy really. You know what it sounds like to me? A bet. Like they set up a bet on whether or not they could talk one of the wives or your wife into doing this.
> 
> ...


i agree

even in a *Catholic school girl outfit*, even though, less revealing is out of line.


and what is to say after a while when she is more comfortable that they might try and up the ante and have her do a 2 piece or thong or topless.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

No, just NO!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JerryA,

Are you out there? It would be interesting to hear back from you and your wife now that you have quite a few replies.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Hi JerryA, 

If it is indeed just a fun dare, and you want to show your wife that she can use her beauty as a weapon, then have her request that all these guys be in their bathing suits and oiled up in order for her to accept. Then instead of her going alone as their server, she goes over fully clothed and with a male stripper as her assistant to show these men what women like to look at! 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Hmmm.....

Sniff sniff....sniff sniff.....

I smell bridge funk and wet hair.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

OMG. How will women ever be treated as equal if they continue to let themselves be reduced to things to be looked at? 

It's creepy that the men would ask--is she positive they weren't joking?? And it's just mind boggling that she would consider it.

If a woman wants to wear a swimsuit somewhere because that's what she'll feel comfortable in, fine. The moment she is doing it for any other reason, she's participating in the objectification of women. Only she knows which it is--which is why debates about what women "should" wear are so difficult.

In this case, however, there is no doubt about the men's purpose in asking or hers in accepting. I'd be leaving that group if I were her, not jumping in to join forces with these men who clearly don't see her as a real person!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

So JerryA this is TomB (from under a nearby bridge to you):

Would your mother or sister do it ? If not, then why would you expect your wife to ?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Oh c'mon, REALLY?

I have NEVER heard of a bunch of creepy old men asking ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE to parade around, serving non-alcoholic drinks in a swimsuit!

You should have told them to all F-off.

(On second thought: Your being here and *even asking* if she should do this makes me realize now WHY SHE WOULD CONSIDER IT in the first place. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't blame her if she did.)

Can this possibly be real??? I'm out. Best of luck.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Hmmm.....
> 
> Sniff sniff....sniff sniff.....
> 
> I smell bridge funk and wet hair.



Me too, otherwise this guy should just tell his geezer friends to take their game night to Hooters. The bit about the wife going out and buying bathing suits for the "honor" of playing waitress for a bunch of old creepers is funny though. C+ because it gave me a chuckle.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

One more thought:

Is she also going to provide "mop towels" to clean up those old geezers' "messes"???


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Beyond the obvious reasons already mentioned.. I think it makes you less of a man even thinking it might be okay.. I think down the line she will look at you as a weak man and less in her eyes.. I'm telling you, the minute someone tells her your husband let you do that ? The wheels will start to turn in her head..


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

soccermom2three said:


> Super creepy and weird.


As a husband, I completely agree this is super creepy and weird!


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

What would I do? I would find other friends.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

There was a poster on another site who's wife joined an all male company and she went to a company mixer without him. A few days later he finds pics of her in a bikini sitting on the laps of these older company men...

I just wonder.


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## Tito Santana (Jul 9, 2015)

I think the OP is busy deciding which billy goats he is going to let over his bridge....


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> Oh c'mon, REALLY?
> 
> I have NEVER heard of a bunch of creepy old men asking ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE to parade around, *serving non-alcoholic drinks* in a swimsuit!
> 
> ...


I know, come on, non-alcoholic drinks. Pleeeas:grin2:


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## T2shay (Jun 30, 2015)

I have actually been hired to do such things on yachts when I was in my 20's and to drive golf carts around to deliver beer and drinks all in a bathing suit. It is such a demeaning role to play. These old nasty men, would gaulk at me and grab at me and make the most rude and crude comments. They would always beg for peaks and kisses and had no respect for me at all. I did it solely to put food on my table for my family and to pay for school. Now I am in my 40's and would never put myself on display like that again. Even in everyday life I will still get these nasty old men make passes at me when I am in my business suit, they have no respect and treat younger women (just younger than them) like a piece of meat. I guess they think because they are old they can get away with it all. Funny thing, they have wives, and the wives will look at me like its my fault. 

I would let you wife know the experience I had with this and see if she has a different mind set. Let her know that these older men, had respectful jobs, attended church functions and some married and some not. She will be looked down on by the other ladies and just eye candy for the men. If she still chooses to do it, it may be the last time she does, but will have all respect lost with them in the future.


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## lilith23 (Sep 6, 2012)

Why would any woman want to be reduced to a sexual object at display? Why would any husband that cares for his wife ever tolerate that?

If I want a daring activity, I'll go bumgee jump, thanks.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

So your wife wants to visually prostitute herself and you're OK with that? You're OK with a bunch of old men getting their jollies lusting after your wife? Where do you draw the line? You can look but no touching? You can touch but no groping? Is it OK if she sits on their laps for pictures? 

My first question is what kind of man would be OK with any of this? Secondly if I made a suggestion like that to any of my friends regarding their wife I would expect to get punched in the face. Thirdly I wouldn't want to be married to a woman who "liked the idea"


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

frusdil said:


> Good God no! I wouldn't do it, and no way would I allow another woman to do it in my house!


why should do that to please other people ? n on regular basis !

if I had wanted to do it on a dare , there better be money payout , and it will be one time .

i think you both are manipulated by the other older folks .


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## JerryA (Jul 27, 2015)

Greetings, I apologize for being so long replying, I have been away with no internet access. I appreciate all your input. I may not have expressed my thinking clearly, but I'm not really big on men viewing my wife in less than modest street clothes. However, there have been occasions when she wanted to wear a flirty party dress, etc. to a specific gathering. I have been told that I'm insecure, possessive, etc. However, we have discussed all of your opinions here (which are pretty much unanimous) and we have agreed that she should decline the invitation. We did discuss instances in which women have agreed to do something that I, individually, may consider sexist. We recently were at a county fair and there was one of those dunking booths where a young lady (18, tops) was sitting on the board wearing a bikini while fairgoers threw the ball attempting to dunk her. A lady, who appeared to be her mom, was close by. And, what about all the beauty contests in which women parade by in swimsuits? They are often about good values, charity, etc. Just today, I was watching a show on TV that featured a magician with an assistant wearing a rather skimpy outfit and performing for all. All of these events are aimed at the general public, families, etc. Are all of these events not promoting a 'meat show' for the visual enjoyment of men? Where is the line drawn here? Is the difference the fact that all of these events are open to the public, whereas the event mentioned in my original post was a group of men? These are sincere questions that we would like to here some opinions on. Thanks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you want to look at all the ways in which women do things similar to what your wife was asked to do...

You need to throw in stripping burlesque and other sexual/semi-sexual forms of display.

You and your wife need to decide what you think about the different scenarios.

The girl at the fair. She might have been in bikini because that's how a lot of girls dress to go swimming.. and let's face it, the plan was for her to get wet. If she were my daughter I would have suggested that she wear a one piece and maybe some light weight, nylon (they dry fast) shorts. The intent might not have been sexual at all. It's your interpretation that it was sexual.

Beauty pageants? There that's a topic that gets discussed all the time.. are they simply sexist shows that show off women like meat? Or are they an opportunity for young women to get scholarships, a contract that gives her a lot of exposer as a spoke person for a lot of charities? 

Or are they like the Mr. Universe contests that have the sole purpose of men showing off their bodies and strengths?

Your wife wearing a sexy dress when the two of you are out together is not the same thing as wearing a bathing suit and serving some old men. When she wears a sexy dress, it's so that she fells beautiful and for you. 

What as proposed is for her to be middle aged eye candy for some old farts who know you guys. There is a very good chance that those guys would be putting their hands on her. After all she would be consenting to being a sex object for them.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Well, it depends if they're going to contribute to my favorite charity, one that helps street children.

Also, the gift certificate for the swim suit needs to be to a shop of my own choosing.

There will be fines for touching or lewd comments.
And no cell phones or cameras allowed.
Three strikes and everyone's cut off. If you're the third offender, you can deal with your buddies on your own. It's on you, old dude, you brought it on yourself.

After that, we're good.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

JerryA said:


> Greetings, I apologize for being so long replying, I have been away with no internet access. I appreciate all your input. I may not have expressed my thinking clearly, but I'm not really big on men viewing my wife in less than modest street clothes. However, there have been occasions when she wanted to wear a flirty party dress, etc. to a specific gathering. I have been told that I'm insecure, possessive, etc. However, we have discussed all of your opinions here (which are pretty much unanimous) and we have agreed that she should decline the invitation. We did discuss instances in which women have agreed to do something that I, individually, may consider sexist. We recently were at a county fair and there was one of those dunking booths where a young lady (18, tops) was sitting on the board wearing a bikini while fairgoers threw the ball attempting to dunk her. A lady, who appeared to be her mom, was close by. And, what about all the beauty contests in which women parade by in swimsuits? They are often about good values, charity, etc. Just today, I was watching a show on TV that featured a magician with an assistant wearing a rather skimpy outfit and performing for all. All of these events are aimed at the general public, families, etc. Are all of these events not promoting a 'meat show' for the visual enjoyment of men? Where is the line drawn here? Is the difference the fact that all of these events are open to the public, whereas the event mentioned in my original post was a group of men? These are sincere questions that we would like to here some opinions on. Thanks.



There are many instances of women dressing in "skimpy outfits" at events for the visual enjoyment of men. Night clubs, car shows, Hooters, strip clubs, topless donut shops, bikini car washes, massage parlors, bikini barber shops, bikini maid services...Or a common prostitute, street walker, escort...

The line is drawn where the woman decides to draw it. If you and your wife have no issue with her putting on a bathing suit and waiting on your friends for their "visual enjoyment" what difference does it make where random strangers on the internet draw their line? 

We all responded this is gross and creepy behavior for your group of male friends to even ask. If they wanted to pass her around would that be OK? If one or more of the men grope her or make suggestive comments how is she going to handle that?

The list could go on and on. It isn't even an interesting debate. Just tell your wife to do what she wants to do, she sounds really hard up for attention. The fact that she bought a bathing suit for the occasion and you are both considering it says it all.


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## Froggi (Sep 10, 2014)

I am all for adults doing what they want, so if your wife wants to do this, that is between you and her. 

But since you asked, HELL no, I would not do that. It is creepy and gross IMHO.


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