# Relationship and low T need support



## el3sha (Feb 27, 2015)

Hi! I am new and I am having some issues that I need support for. I hope I am in the correct forum. 
Before I start, I wish to say that I am 43 and my fiance is 46.
I am concerned for him and for us, but I know that this isn't uncommon. I know this sounds selfish, but I want to be there for him, but I don't want to lose this part of our relationship. 

I'm in a 3 year relationship. We just got engaged over a month ago. He's my best friend and we do almost everything together and talk about everything. He mentioned early on that he had been taking testosterone injections for his low T Count but at the time we started dating, he hadn't currently been on it. We have had a wild, emotional, sweet journey, along with it, the best sex I've ever had. I've been able to open up more with him than anyone. I've never felt sexier or more in love. He's run out before but within a week or 2 he's refilled his RX and its like nothing ever happened. His energy is up, he sleeps better, mood better and sex...well...amazing. 

Cut to present day. His insurance won't cover it anymore or at least that's what I understand. I guess he's tried talking to someone to see what he can do but while he's the man I love, he has little to no desire even though he says I'm sexy and we've had fights over this b cause of his bad he feels. I feel horrible making him feel worse but he's always tired and we don't even have the flirty conversations we used to have. I'm afraid to initiate for fear of being turned down. We make love maybe once a week but it's a really quick affair and I feel like I'm left hanging. We used to take our time, sometimes after a few drinks and he liked to satisfy me. Now I'm happy to get the brief connection we get when we get it. And it is about him. He doesn't like that he is the only one that gets off, and that he doesn't have the desire..that hurts. How can i not take it personally even though I know it isn't about me? I know it sounds selfish but I'm afraid maybe I don't do it for him anymore. He tells me I do but I hope he's not just placating me. Yes there are other things we do and enjoy doing and I should just know it doesn't have anything to do with me. But why do I feel sad and heartbroken ? He has an appointment with his primary doc as this is a serious issue. We are devoted to each other and usually can talk everything out. This is a place I've never been before and it hurts. :scratchhead:


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

Hi. When I hit my 40s I was working out regularly and eating well. I noticed my ambition, sexual performance, concentration and physical capabilities waning. Never lost interest in sex but didn't seem to have the drive too initiate as often. 

I went to the Dr and had all the tests. Started on the testosterone creams. They helped for awhile and I felt like my old self but then that faded. Went back and started on the Testaphell (SP). They are pellets implanted under the skin on the hip/top of the butt. They last about 4 months for me. My insurance has been fine throughout but had to stay on top of it and work closely with my Dr. 

Your fiance needs to take this seriously. IT can really creep up on a man. I don't notice the effects until it get seriously low. My Dr and I have worked out a balance that works but it has taken a few years. 

You need to have very open and brutally honest talks with him. Yes its embarrassing for him but hiding from it will not help but only make it worse. Your needs are very real and very important to the relationship. He has to understand and want to address this for both your sake. I would do anything to make sure that part of my wife's and I's relationship stays healthy. Our 29th wedding anniversary is this weekend. We are going to Washington DC and spending weekend doing things but we'll probably make love 2-4 times from Saturday afternoon thru Sunday afternoon. Not bad for a couple in our early 50s. 

If he is unable to address this then you may have to save yourself. He has to understand its not optional. He may be ready to give up on that part of life but you are not. Nor should you be. Good luck.


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

I just wanted to add something he may not be aware of.. as a man uses testosterone replacement over time the body stops being able to produce it on its own. So he may think it will go back to the way it was before using it but that's not the case. 

The body needs Testosterone to function. It is apart of what keeps us healthy. The heart as well as the the body's major organs, skeleton, muscles and tendons and even the brain all need testosterone to function optimally. 

So he has many reasons to get this sorted out and changing insurances or getting the doctors to test him again to justify its continued use is a course of action that will fix it and at the same time address your growing relationship problems. This issue will not fix itself. He has to take action or risk losing everything.


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## el3sha (Feb 27, 2015)

Thank you for your reply. In contrast, sexis very important to my fiancé the thing is, like you mentioned, he hasn't lost interest in sex but the drive to initiate has waned due to his hormone levels dropping. 

I initiated a few days ago and he responded easily. 
Yesterday he informed me that he has stsrted to feel a spark...and he's been more forward and caught himself having those sexy thoughts again. 
Now I'm not getting my hopes up but he seemed friskier than normal. 

He's taking it seriously and I'm trying to not take it seriously. It's not my fault. And he has an appt with his dr Friday. 

Fingers crossed. I feel a little bit better. 

Thank you!


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

It sounds like something you guys are going to have to budget and find a way to pay for. He needs it. Things like this piss me off about our healthcare system.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Testosterone is considered a 'lifestyle' drug rather than medically necessary.

All he needs to have done is that his doctor tells the insurance company that its medically necessary.

Worked for me.


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