# Would-have-been First Anniversary



## turtle1214 (Oct 11, 2017)

Hello TAMers,

Sunday (3/25) will mark what would have been my one year anniversary. Divorce was finalized in January and I was doing really well as far as not fearing the uncertainty of the future anymore and taking care of myself. About three weeks ago, I started feeling the insecurities again. I started missing the relationship I thought I had and feeling the pain and knot in my gut all over again. A friend I met recently is remarried and said that he still gets those same pangs sometimes out of the blue when he sees or hears something that reminds him of his ex wife. I was on a date last night and saw a woman across the bar who looked strikingly similar to my ex-mother-in-law. When I saw her I stopped talking mid-sentence because a lump caught in my throat and it felt like my heart stopped for a second.

I know this kind of thing will lessen with time, but is it normal for this to happen years, even decades, after a divorce?


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

You were married less than one year? Then, IMO, your future is not all that uncertain - your future is what it was before you were married.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Yeah, something is missing here. This is an understandable reaction for someone that was married for a decade+ or a junior high schooler, but for an adult married less than a year, you sound like a drama queen. Snap out of it, man! Move on.


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