# Husband says still loves me...but



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

My husband has decided he wants a divorce. He is moving out this weekend to a friend's house because after he pays me child support and alimony he won't be able to afford his own apartment.

He says he still loves me but he can't handle living here. That the arguments make him want curl up and die.

Why do people get divorced when they still love each other?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

They get divorced becuase they cannot handle the arguments which make them want to curl up and die. 

Why are the two of you arguing all the time?

How long have the two of you been married? How many children do you have and what are their ages?

Do you work outside the home?


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> He says he still loves me but he can't handle living here. That the arguments make him want curl up and die.
> 
> Why do people get divorced when they still love each other?





EleGirl said:


> They get divorced becuase they cannot handle the arguments which make them want to curl up and die.


I might fall into your husband's category: love you but can't live with you anymore. When I was not happy about something I had no problem stating my opinion. I was being honest. However, like EleGirl wrote, he couldn't handle it. In his eyes I had to walk around with a smile on my face, not argue, and be content no matter what the circumstances because "I should be happy." When a controversial conversation would come up again, he wanted to "leave it in the past and move forward." Basically, he didn't want to address the issue. One word: immaturity.

I tried, and tried, and tried.... Different methods, different perspectives, different approaches... It gets to a point when you've had enough. 

One thing I would look for is if in the past he made an effort to try to alleviate the situation. The burden can't fall on just one person while the other one sits idle. If he doesn't have the willingness to change, to make an effort, then you might want to reconsider how you want to live your life.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Couples have to work out disagreements but many times, the way we argue becomes a bigger problem than the issues we try to solve. If you both are willing, maybe you both could attend a marriage seminar where you can learn better communication techniques. Sounds like a divorce isn't really financially feasible anyway. You've got at least one child, so the best outcome would be if you two could work this out.


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