# love my husband and marriage but i feel unaccomplished



## hismrs615 (May 25, 2014)

let me start off by saying..
I am in no way unhappy being married.
I love my husband and we have an amazing marriage.

I feel though i'm in a slump.

We have been married for almost a year and have dated for 3 years.

In 2012 we moved from our hometown to a new state--600 miles away.

We were so very social where we lived before, out every weekend living it up.

Let me also add, i'm a college graduate not using my degree at all. Most of my friends have careers and not just a job. I recently quit my retail job because my manager was awful. 

Anyways, so since we've moved out of state, we haven't really met tons of people. I just feel I have no friends and I am a "loser".

Do any other spouses feel this way because they have such a bond with their spouse that they don't need to go out? Or am I a total whack job?


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## Pamvhv (Apr 27, 2014)

We moved from Virginia to London where we had a vibrant social life. Then we moved to California where we didn't have one. 

Do you have a hobby? I found a lot of people through book groups and such.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The way you feel is understandable. Don't be too hard on yourself.

What you need to do is to get busy. Are you looking for a job/career where you live now? 

There are things you can do to get out, meet people and get busy. For example volunteer for a cause that you can support. Hospitals are a good place to start. 

Also, go to the website www.meetup.com and see what is going on in your area. You can find things that you like and things that you and your husband can do together.


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## hismrs615 (May 25, 2014)

i'm a musician and I love playing but it's not helping with this feeling.

I don't want my husband to think im boring haha.

I want to be the fun wife but we are not in the best financial shape so it's hard to go out and do things anyway that cost tons of money


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## hismrs615 (May 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> The way you feel is understandable. Don't be too hard on yourself.
> 
> What you need to do is to get busy. Are you looking for a job/career where you live now?
> 
> ...



I think my main problem is I don't want to get too involved in a career here because I know we will be moving back in a few years to our hometown.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

hismrs615 said:


> i'm a musician and I love playing but it's not helping with this feeling.
> 
> I don't want my husband to think im boring haha.
> 
> I want to be the fun wife but we are not in the best financial shape so it's hard to go out and do things anyway that cost tons of money


Going out does not have to cost much at all. 

I suggested Find your people - Meetup In my area there are groups that meetup to go hiking. Groups that read books and talk and discuss them. Groups for gardeners, people who do needle work, musicians, and on and on and on. The cost to do these things ... ZERO... well except gas to get there.

When I check the 'what's happening' sites for my area there are arts crawls.. this is when galleries schedule special events free to the public. You can spend the day going from gallery to gallery. These can really be fun. It's a party atmosphere.. cost $0.

You are a musician? You can volunteer to play at senior centers, nursing homes, hospitals (especially in the children's wards).


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## hismrs615 (May 25, 2014)

that's a good idea. thank you. glad to hear i'm not crazy haha


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A lot of people have problems rebuilding a social circle and getting busy when they move to a new place. 

you are also a newly wed so you so you are going through two huge life changes at one time.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

hismrs615 said:


> let me start off by saying..
> I am in no way unhappy being married.
> I love my husband and we have an amazing marriage.
> 
> ...


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

I would suggest that you try to do something re: your career that would utilize your degree and skills.


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