# Saw "Shades of Grey" Trailer



## ntamph

Fifty Shades Of Grey - Trailer - YouTube

And I want to know what some of you think of it. I'm a guy and didn't read it but know how many women have read it. Does the trailer appeal to you? Are we learning something about the female psyche from this movie (read the comments from women)?


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## jld

I read the series. I did not like it. Everyone was talking about it, though, so I wanted to know what it was about.

I doubt we will see the movie. Maybe through Netflix at some point, though.

The whole thing just seemed so fake. I know, all those books are, but this one especially so.


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## Runs like Dog

Wow, where to begin.

First off the Hollywood preview standard of subsecond cuts to black is getting so tedious it's a joke. We get it, you have 45 seconds of content you need to stretch out to 2:33.

Not showing his head for nearly a minute is intentional and irritating.

All billionaires are under the age of 35 and all reporters assigned to cover them are 25. 

Kind of cross between Pretty Woman and Twilight with some extra rapey creepiness thrown in.

The Beyonce soundtrack is going to make some people commit murder. 

If the actress has 1500 words of dialog in the whole movie I'll be amazed. 

It's kind of like The Devil Wears Prada except without the humor and there's probably some bodies buried in his basement.


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## jaharthur

Embarrassing confession: I read all three books. They just didn't appeal to my inner goddess. But I blushed, bit my lip, and rolled my eyes a lot. I felt the need to touch someone down there. And I had 10 orgasms a day.


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## Rowan

Runs like Dog said:


> Kind of cross between Pretty Woman and Twilight with some extra rapey creepiness thrown in.


Considering the books were initially written as (really bad) fanfic of Twilight, I'd say it's _exactly_ like Twilight with some extra rapey creepiness thrown in. After all, that was sort of the point. 

Not a fan of the books - all 5 pages that I managed to struggle through. Won't see the movie.


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## Eagle3

50 Shades reminds me of the band Nickleback. Everyone claims to hate it or never read or seen it but somehow millions of their product is sold.


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## jld

Eagle3 said:


> 50 Shades reminds me of the band Nickleback. Everyone claims to hate it or never read or seen it but somehow millions of their product is sold.


For me, I wanted to know how the story ended. I needed closure.


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## LBHmidwest

Double Crap!


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## Rowan

Eagle3 said:


> 50 Shades reminds me of the band Nickleback. Everyone claims to hate it or never read or seen it but somehow millions of their product is sold.


I actually like a fair amount of Nickleback's stuff......

I just couldn't get through the really bad writing in 50 Shades. Obviously, there are a lot of people out there who could.


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## missthelove2013

I am a dude
But I will say my ex was part of a book club...all women...and they read and discussed these books...I will say all the men got laid a LOT while these books were the topic...some even got beejers for the first time in years

im talking soccer moms here...so these books touched on something
therfore I love them....wont read them though as I am hetero


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## Eagle3

Thanks Rowan for shooting down my hard researched theory in one post.


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## SimplyAmorous

I never read the books.. figured I'd wait till I needed some kind of aroused Sex high to bother (menopause a good time)... but I know I won't blow off this movie, anything with a plot like this, I simply have to see!

Can't wait!! Just the curious type here... husband will go with me, just like he did when I wanted to see Magic Mike.. I just hope I don't get so excited I want him to do those things, then I'll be on here complaining I can't get him to whip me or something.


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## DvlsAdvc8

I read the first book and it was just amazingly poor writing. I can deal with the mediocre plot, I can see why the character dynamic could be interesting to some, but that god awful writing.... smh. Reading it was like force feeding yourself a large tub of peanut butter.

I'm curious as to whether the movie will really be able to reveal the more subtle elements of the characters - particularly Grey, or if it'll just turn out to be a no-depth excuse for sexual control, fetish and titillation. I put my money on the later.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Nickleback isn't really "bad", just generic and uninspired. Mass consumption... "Pop rock". The kind of thing its popular to hate. And they're prolific... there is constantly some song of theirs on the radio.

I actually like Animals... 



animals said:


> I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track
> I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride
> Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight


The lyrics make me grin and remind me of being a teenager.



animals said:


> You're beside me on the seat, got your hand between my knees
> And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze
> It's hard to steer when you're breathing in my ear
> But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears
> 
> By now, no doubt that we were heading south
> I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth
> Cause this was it, like flicking on a switch
> It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch


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## Rowan

Eagle3 said:


> Thanks Rowan for shooting down my hard researched theory in one post.


Sorry 'bout that.


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## Almostrecovered

will never top the "go get the gimp" scene from Pulp Fiction


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## jld

I thought the whole thing was pretty bad, in every way.


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## 3Xnocharm

I am "meh" about the whole thing. I think they should have cast WAY hotter actors for the lead roles, though.


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## Runs like Dog

To be fair, the global standard of all time execrable awfulness and insipid vapid retarded makes-you-want-to-laugh-at-funerals horribleness is of course the TV show "Private Practice".

And I was thrown out of "Terms of Endearment" at a half price movie theater for laughing too much.......


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## Faithful Wife

Didn't read the books but will see the movie just for kicks.


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## HappyGilmore

After this nadir of modern literature, I'm certain the movie will be better than the book. It has to be. It has nowhere to go but up from here. I don't plan on seeing it, however.

I read a few pages when someone handed it to me. Now, mind you, I was tad inebriated at the time, so it was some of the funniest crap I've read in a long time. If I wasn't drunk, I'm sure I would have been sticking sharp objects into my eyes. 

What bothers me is that someone with such poor writing ability can get published, while I personally know a couple of very brilliant writers who cannot. I suppose their only mistake is that they are writing sci-fi/fantasy, not porn.

But I digress. No, it is not a commentary on the "female psyche." Escapist fantasy for middle-class mothers and housewives...perhaps (not for me, as my fantasies tend to swing the other way). However, it is a sad commentary on the lack of literacy in our day and age...


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## TimeHeals

ntamph said:


> Fifty Shades Of Grey - Trailer - YouTube
> 
> And I want to know what some of you think of it. I'm a guy and didn't read it but know how many women have read it. Does the trailer appeal to you? Are we learning something about the female psyche from this movie (read the comments from women)?


Is that the one that has that Beyonce vocal that John Stewart said sounds like she's on the can trying to take a dump?


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## 3Xnocharm

TimeHeals said:


> Is that the one that has that Beyonce vocal that John Stewart said sounds like she's on the can trying to take a dump?


That's what she ALWAYS sounds like to me...


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## Coffee Amore

I've read far better erotica.

I'll wait until this appears on Netflix. I'd rather see something else at the theaters. Even Hercules has to be better than this!


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## EleGirl

ntamph said:


> Fifty Shades Of Grey - Trailer - YouTube
> 
> And I want to know what some of you think of it. I'm a guy and didn't read it but know how many women have read it.


How many women do you think have read it? 15 million copies have been sold in the USA and Canada. That's less than 10% of the female population bought it. Keep in mind that about 99% of men admit to viewing porn on a regular basis.

World wide 100 million copies have been sold.

By contrast, 450 million copies of the Harry Potter series have been sold.



ntamph said:


> Does the trailer appeal to you? Are we learning something about the female psyche from this movie (read the comments from women)?


Some women like it, some don't. What's the point?

And no it does not tell us anything about the female psyche. It's a badly written trash romance that some women read.. some of them liked it. Most have never read it. 

What all this tells us is that the book has good PR. The movie seems to have good PR as well.


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## EleGirl

Lila said:


> The original guy they had cast as Christian Grey - young blond guy from Sons of Anarchy - was perfect for the role. I don't know what happened but he was dropped and this other guy was picked up.


Now he's hot.. I love that show and he's a big part of why.


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## Rowan

Coffee Amore said:


> I've read far better erotica.
> 
> I'll wait until this appears on Netflix. I'd rather see something else at the theaters. Even Hercules has to be better than this!


Is it bad that I usually find movies starring The Rock pretty entertaining? I actually paid to see The Scorpion King at the theater....

My tolerance of purely entertaining, even incredibly campy, movies is really pretty high.


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## Amplexor

Somebody posted this before but its hilarious. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCSfPHLbEDU


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## EleGirl

Amplexor said:


> Somebody posted this before but its hilarious.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCSfPHLbEDU


Maybe someone can make a similar one for father's day. Mom and the kids bring dad his father's day gift... they walk in on dad jacking off to some hardcore porn. hilarious


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## COGypsy

EleGirl said:


> How many women do you think have read it? 15 million copies have been sold in the USA and Canada. That's less than 10% of the female population bought it. Keep in mind that about 99% of men admit to viewing porn on a regular basis.
> 
> World wide 100 million copies have been sold.
> 
> By contrast, 450 million copies of the Harry Potter series have been sold.
> 
> Some women like it, some don't. What's the point?
> 
> And no it does not tell us anything about the female psyche. It's a badly written trash romance that some women read.. some of them liked it. Most have never read it.
> 
> What all this tells us is that the book has good PR. The movie seems to have good PR as well.


And while I know a LOT of women that have purchased the book(s) I don't know very many people who have FINISHED the books.

Seems like a waste of memory on my Kindle to me.


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## EleGirl

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I thought the trailer looked great and I cannot wait until the movie is released. I enjoyed the books. My husband and i both read all three of them. I have never understood the controversy. They were written for entertainment.


The only reason that there is any controversy at all is because some smart PR person got some media people to write up stories in a way that sold the books and sold the "news". It's all a hype job. 

These are hardly the first books with a lot of wild sex in them.


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## FormerSelf

I agree there are much more racier books out there, but I guess erotica being sold at this level is what makes the series stand out. Guilty pleasure. *shrugs* 

I also think it was smartly marketed to older fans of Twilight...who wanted a creeper character like Edward be presented in a more adult situation. No, it is not a realistic tale by any sense, but that's the point. Erotic escapism. 

Would anyone feel awkward being in the company of other theater-dwellers during the steamy parts?


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## SimplyAmorous

Faithful Wife said:


> Didn't read the books but will see the movie just for kicks.


With your Blog and being the sex Guru, how could you miss something like this.. I'm sure you'd have your own opinions on it afterwards...

I can't think of anything I'd rather feist my eyes on at the movie theater..I'd even choose this over a Romance, just because of the controversial & sexual nature of it..


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## Faithful Wife

SA...if the book got better reviews and was about something more my style sexually, I definitely would have read them. Did you read them? 

I have never gotten into any romance novel or erotica...so they just don't really hold any value to me (but I do understand why people love them). I don't read much fiction in general, I'm a non-fiction buff. So if I'm going to get hot and bothered about something sexual through the written word, it wouldn't be a fictional story.

However as I said, if the content had interested me more and if the book got better reviews (of the writing) I would have at least tried to read it. I remember one time I bought a steamy novel just because I knew so many people really enjoyed them and I wanted to enjoy it...couldn't make it past the first two chapters. Boring!


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## Pandakiss

I thumbed through the first book a couple of times at Barnes and Nobel just before all the hype. I thought it was the worst thing I ever read. 

It seemed so "not researched". As I said in another thread, at the time I knew maybe 1% of the BDSM world, but none of this sounded even close. At the time I was so into Christina Dodd. Her books are awesome. 

Over the years as people talked, I just thought it was even less in touch with reality. I know it's a fantasy, but some fantasies are dangerous. I did happen to learn the author did little to no research for this. 

Remember when that guy wrote that extremely moving life altering book??? This was THE book to read, and then he admitted it was all made up. Remember the angry rants, the angry mobs, the pitch forks??? And varsity blues, with the guys who laid down on the highway?, then some high school kids did it??? All the pitch forks and angry mobs formed a que to the left to ban the movie. Come to find out the movie got it from some school close to where this happened. 

Ppphhhhttt

I'm all for sex, and sex stories, but this, this wasn't close. What I'm driving at is this book series shows a skewed angle of BDSM. It's a dangerous side. There is a lot to learn about BDSM and different facets of "DOM", and "SUB". There are a sh!t ton of rules. "Consensual Sex" is the number one rule. If the book author had done some homework, and marketed it "Consensual-NonConsensual Sex", well there is a HUGE market for that. 

I share the outrage with many in the BDSM community. Some are like, well we will teach them the safe way. I'm on the fence. I cannot stress how dangerous BDSM is, even if you are being safe. I think a slew of guys will flood the market, and once they figure out, it's nothing like the book(s), movie, they will quickly lose interest. 

BTW We all love sexy jax. When I heard he was being casted, I was too through with sons. My husband are big fans of sons and Vikings. We were like no no no no, get back to Vikings then get to my new season of sons, you ain't got time to do this awful movie, back to my shows.....lolllll

BTW2: I have seen all the twilight movies. Out of the 3, I liked the third on best. But I still remember just before the release of breaking dawn, and all hell broke lose with the affair. 

If you liked the books, I am not passing judgement. It's great when we find something that moves us and speaks to us. Enjoy it for all it's worth (not that you need my permission ha ha). I would just implore you (all generic "you") to full get the facts before attempting.


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## Abc123wife

I got a digital copy of the first in the series from the library (3 weeks check-out time). I just couldn't get through it. I found it boring, and I kept getting distracted by the horrible writing. I found myself analyzing sentence structure and word choice at times instead of really reading it. The author seemed to use certain words repeatedly just a couple sentences apart. One random example that comes to mind is the word gape. Like is that the only fancy word the author knew for a facial expression? Anyway, I only got 1/3 of the way through the book by the end of the three weeks check-out time. By comparison when I find a really good book, I will read it within 1-2 days. I will stay up way too late and feel like I can't bear to put the book down. This one I couldn't even force myself to keep reading it.


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## FormerSelf

I enjoy reading the Amazon reviews of this book. Funny!


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## jasmine9

Never read the books or had interest in them. I can't even bring myself to watch the trailer as I consider it porn.


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## jld

Is this kind of morphing into a discussion of the books as opposed to the movie? If so . . .

I thought the first book was okay. Yeah, totally unrealistic and bad writing, but I am sure there are worse. 

The second and third I had to force myself through. I skipped about eighty pages at one point. It was just so boring and I just wanted to finish it and like I said, get some closure.

I did not like Grey. What a user. And in my opinion, a fake dom. I am surprised Ana could get any satisfaction out of being with a "dom" like that.

That said, I did like how he cared for that girl, Lila, it think it was, by washing her hair and giving her a bath. And sending her money afterwards. And not involving the police. A little bit of humanity there, for a brief period of time.

I can only get into D/s if it's real, and their relationship did not seem real to me. A bunch of game playing, which is fine if that's what folks are into. Just not my cuppa.

Obviously, all the above is just my opinion!


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## richie33

Looks like a straight to DVD movie.
It will be in theaters in February, generally that time of the year movie studios release movies they do not have a lot of confidence to make money.


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## Nikita2270

I would never waste a dime on my hard earned money on this kind of tripe.

I have a real sex life...I don't need to fantasize about some douche, control-freak bossing me around and raping me.

The whole BDSM crap is so very, very lame and pathetic. The idea of some middle-aged women in bulging latex lingerie crawling around on the floor calling her spare-tired middle aged husband "master" while he clips close-pins on her post nursing nips just cracks me the hell up.

Honestly, if ever get so bored with my sex life that I have to start reading this kind of crap or even worse, trying it out, I'm never, ever, ever going to bother getting laid again.


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## ReformedHubby

My wife tried to read it. She said she couldn't get into the characters so she stopped. From what I gather though it did help reawaken some couples sexually, and that's a good thing in my opinion. On the flip side though there are also reports of people blaming it for their infidelity, which I think is ridiculous.


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## BradWesley

richie33 said:


> Looks like a straight to DVD movie.
> It will be in theaters in February, generally that time of the year movie studios release movies they do not have a lot of confidence to make money.


To the contrary, the studio is going to make a helluva lot of money.

There were actually two versions shot of the film. The first is the R Rated version for theatrical release. /this will give them the distribution to as many screens possible, affording major ticket sales.

The second is the DVD version which will be NC-17 rated. This will include much more steamy scenes not in the theatrical release, which women can buy for their own viewing pleasure.


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## soccermom2three

I read all three books and yeah, they weren't very good. I will probably watch the movie when it comes on Netflix or Amazon.

I believe the author is British and what I found funny was the female character would say some British phrases that an American would probably never say. I think the work around that issue was that the character was an english literature major, or something like that. Silly. I don't think the book was truly edited.

FYI: I've been to a Nickelback concert. They put on a good show.


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## Thor

Nickelback knows how to hit the fantasies just like 50 Shades does.

"'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar"


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## richie33

BradWesley said:


> To the contrary, the studio is going to make a helluva lot of money.
> 
> There were actually two versions shot of the film. The first is the R Rated version for theatrical release. /this will give them the distribution to as many screens possible, affording major ticket sales.
> 
> The second is the DVD version which will be NC-17 rated. This will include much more steamy scenes not in the theatrical release, which women can buy for their own viewing pleasure.


Maybe on its DVD sales but January and February are usually months movie studios dump movies they don't have much confidence in. If they expect it to be a hit November, December or the summer it would be released.


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## Feeling-Lonely

What happened to good writing? This makes me roll my eyes and judge anyone who likes the fallowing:

Shade of grey, Twilight, Games of thrones, hunger games, etc etc, 

The Larsson trilogy was slightly better.


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## FormerSelf

Feeling-Lonely said:


> What happened to good writing? This makes me roll my eyes and judge anyone who likes the fallowing:
> 
> Shade of grey, Twilight, Games of thrones, hunger games, etc etc,
> 
> The Larsson trilogy was slightly better.


Twilight and Hunger Games were both young adult fiction that many adults picked up on...some of who never got into reading before those series. Twilight was huge and Hunger Games was the next big thing. However, the author of Shades, like many of the older, adult readers wanted to see the Twilight fiction cover more adult material...hence the fan-fiction that was hugely edited to become Shades of Grey. The writing is bad because it was meant to appeal to the lower-level reader market...that's my opinion.

From what I understand, Game of Thrones, is very well-written with a completely designed world and history not unlike Tolkien's Middle Earth...except that R.R. Martin didn't mind killing off character ingloriously and have sexual situations. But I can understand how folks could get turned off by all of the TV show's hype.


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## ariel_angel77

I LOVED the trailer. Will probably watch it more until the movie comes out. It looks SO good! Now I know what i want for my bday (August 4) the trilogy. lol. But you guys said it's a Twilight for the older generation, so that's PERFECT for me! *Owner of every single Twilight movie. lol

The only thing I didn't like is that the actress isn't that pretty.


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## TiggyBlue

Doesn't really appeal to me personally (I haven't read the books but have a friend text me lines lol)


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## FormerSelf

ariel_angel77 said:


> The only thing I didn't like is that the actress isn't that pretty.


I think that is the fantasy of Shades and of Twilight...that an Edward or a Christian can become enamored with a plain-jane.


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## Feeling-Lonely

FormerSelf said:


> Twilight and Hunger Games were both young adult fiction that many adults picked up on...some of who never got into reading before those series. Twilight was huge and Hunger Games was the next big thing. However, the author of Shades, like many of the older, adult readers wanted to see the Twilight fiction cover more adult material...hence the fan-fiction that was hugely edited to become Shades of Grey. The writing is bad because it was meant to appeal to the lower-level reader market...that's my opinion.
> 
> From what I understand, Game of Thrones, is very well-written with a completely designed world and history not unlike Tolkien's Middle Earth...except that R.R. Martin didn't mind killing off character ingloriously and have sexual situations. But I can understand how folks could get turned off by all of the TV show's hype.


I honestly think we haven't seen better fantasy author than Tolkien. 

I can only say same as pop music also pop literature is crap and will not stand through time.


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## ticktock33

I just don't get it and I don't have the patience to read it. S&M has never been my thing at all. I don't understand why it's scheduled around Valentine's Day. Nothing says love like whips,chains and apparently choking?

I don't want to be apart of the angry mob when it comes out, but I do want to see what the big hoopla is about. There was some kind of erotic movie that came out last year and it was only shown at night. I wonder if that's how it will be with this movie. I don't like to go out past 6pm, so if that is the case then I'm out. lol

My husband says that he thinks women love it so much because they want to be ravaged by men that they adore. Dominated by some hot guy. I've never understood why this could possibly be appealing. But I'm kind of interested if seeing movie brings out anything in me that I didn't know about.


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## SimplyAmorous

Faithful Wife said:


> SA...if the book got better reviews and was about something more my style sexually, I definitely would have read them. Did you read them?


 I did not read it -because the last thing my husband needed when that came out was me being MORE HORNY & wanting him to do more crazy things to me when he was already struggling with just keeping up. 



> I have never gotten into any romance novel or erotica...so they just don't really hold any value to me (but I do understand why people love them). I don't read much fiction in general, I'm a non-fiction buff. So if I'm going to get hot and bothered about something sexual through the written word, it wouldn't be a fictional story.


 I am like you, I am a NON FICTION person all the way.... when I watch a movie they claim is true, so often I google to see how authentic the story line really was....

I've always felt ...enough amazing true to life stories out there to inspire, even relate to- to our own lives.. why bother with fiction..

Though.. I must admit.. my ONLY EXCEPTION IN life is a hot Romance novel and movies...I have always enjoyed these.. I'd read them when younger and Boy oh Boy, he better be around when I got to the juicy parts.. 



> However as I said, if the content had interested me more and if the book got better reviews (of the writing) I would have at least tried to read it. I remember one time I bought a steamy novel just because I knew so many people really enjoyed them and I wanted to enjoy it...couldn't make it past the first two chapters. Boring!


 It is kinda boring getting into it..no doubt... but once I had a basic story line in my head... then I'd get anxious & skip through pages just to get to the "ravishing " parts... what can you do!


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## richie33

ariel_angel77 said:


> I LOVED the trailer. Will probably watch it more until the movie comes out. It looks SO good! Now I know what i want for my bday (August 4) the trilogy. lol. But you guys said it's a Twilight for the older generation, so that's PERFECT for me! *Owner of every single Twilight movie. lol
> 
> The only thing I didn't like is that the actress isn't that pretty.


I thought you are against porn. Many consider erotica as porn.


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## ariel_angel77

richie33 said:


> I thought you are against porn. Many consider erotica as porn.


I don't consider it as porn at all. They are not fully naked and you do not see all of their parts and viewing the parts engaged in sexual activity. I wouldn't mind at all if my H saw a movie like this. I wish he would see it with me, but he's not interested.


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## SimplyAmorous

ticktock33 said:


> *I just don't get it and I don't have the patience to read it. S&M has never been my thing at all. I don't understand why it's scheduled around Valentine's Day. Nothing says love like whips,chains and apparently choking?*


 Honestly if I was into S&M , I'd have to leave my husband he is far too gentle in the bedroom, it's funny, even if he spanks me I am there saying "Harder, Harder..whip me!!", if he tries to pull my hair, I am saying "rip it out!" .. these things are not going to happen in my marriage.... though being the ever curious woman I am... I still like to learn what it may be like for others, what is the allure to this.. I don't really GET IT.. but maybe seeing something like this -could shed some light. 

So it doesn't matter to me if this is not our thing or not..



> I don't want to be apart of the angry mob when it comes out, but I do want to see what the big hoopla is about. There was some kind of erotic movie that came out last year and it was only shown at night. I wonder if that's how it will be with this movie. I don't like to go out past 6pm, so if that is the case then I'm out. lol


 I am sooo confused, my husband keeps telling me this movie has already been out, says he thinks some guy at work has the DVD, his wife got it ....here you say Valentines day -when next year ? I rarely look online to what is playing.. unless I hear of a specific movie I might want to see..I miss so much! 



> *My husband says that he thinks women love it so much because they want to be ravaged by men that they adore. Dominated by some hot guy. I've never understood why this could possibly be appealing.* But I'm kind of interested if seeing movie brings out anything in me that I didn't know about.


As a woman I understand it's appeal.. I will try to explain it.. first of all, the RAPE Fantasy is pretty much the #1 fantasy women have (better called Ravishing fantasy -but it is what it is)...

This article will explain that..Rape Fantasies: Why Do Some Women Have Them?  



> Rape or near-rape fantasies are central to romance novels, one of the perennial best-selling categories in fiction. These books are often called "bodice-rippers" and have titles like Love's Sweet Savage Fury, which imply at least some degree of force. In them, a handsome cad becomes so overwhelmed by his attraction to the heroine that he loses all control and must have her, even if she refuses--which she does initially, but then eventually melts into submission, desire, and ultimately fulfillment.
> 
> Romance novels are often called "porn for women." Porn is all about sexual fantasies. In porn for men, the fantasy is sexual abundance--eager women who can't get enough and have no interest in a relationship. In porn for women as depicted in romance novels, the fantasy is to be desired so much that the man loses all control, though he never actually hurts the woman, and in the end, marries her.


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## richardsharpe

Good afternoon Feeling-lonely
I dearly love Lord of the Rings - but (though it pains me to admit it), while the world is stunning, the characters are rather one dimensional and the plot rather simplistic. 

I really like Game of Thrones the books. The TV series is sort of best-scenes from the book. 

BTW - watch "lord of the rings, the way it should have ended - probably on youtube.....)



Feeling-Lonely said:


> I honestly think we haven't seen better fantasy author than Tolkien.
> 
> I can only say same as pop music also pop literature is crap and will not stand through time.


----------



## Shoto1984

So far I've seen women referring to the books as romance novels, erotica but not porn. Interesting...


----------



## EleGirl

Shoto1984 said:


> So far I've seen women referring to the books as romance novels, erotica but not porn. Interesting...


Usually when it's the written word, it's called erotica. Technically it's both words, erotica & porn, can be used to describe a literary work in which there are no pictures. Keep in mind that for what I understand most of the book does not describe anything sexual but is instead non-sexual story.

However, I like most women have never read the book. As a matter of fact, most women do not read romance novels at all.


----------



## Rowan

And that not every romance novel even contains explicit descriptions of sex. Some of them contain sexual references at about the level you'd find on prime-time network television, others contain no sexual content at all, and many are about as explicit as a somewhat racy R-rated movie. The ones you see female readers describe as "erotica" are usually very sexually explicit. 

I think the term erotica is often used simply to differentiate written porn from A/V porn, rather than in some shady effort to disguise anything. Most men, when surfing the web for "porn" wouldn't be happy to find nothing but 300+ page novels. And many women, when surfing the web for "erotica" aren't looking for pictures or films. Using two different descriptors for two different types of pornographic material makes it easier for Google to find what you're interested in.


----------



## Shoto1984

The definition goes to the intent to arouse. Clearly a writer has a choice as to how descriptive she wants to be. In this case the choice made was pretty obvious. If it quacks like a duck...its a duck. Sorry for the tangent.


----------



## Created2Write

ntamph said:


> Fifty Shades Of Grey - Trailer - YouTube
> 
> And I want to know what some of you think of it. I'm a guy and didn't read it but know how many women have read it. Does the trailer appeal to you? Are we learning something about the female psyche from this movie (read the comments from women)?


BLEH. 

You know, I get the hype of erotic fiction. Sex sells. I only read a few pages of the book(I flipped to the middle) and it was the most horrifyingly _bad_ writing I've ever read. It wasn't erotic at all. It was...gross. Really, really gross. Horrible descriptions. Horrible writing. 

I watched the trailer. I hope the movie flops, though I doubt it will.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I read the first book and it was just amazingly poor writing. I can deal with the mediocre plot, I can see why the character dynamic could be interesting to some, but that god awful writing.... smh. *Reading it was like force feeding yourself a large tub of peanut butter.*


*

ROFL! Yes, that is exactly what it was like! Horrible. 




I'm curious as to whether the movie will really be able to reveal the more subtle elements of the characters - particularly Grey, or if it'll just turn out to be a no-depth excuse for sexual control, fetish and titillation. I put my money on the later.

Click to expand...

*


----------



## GettingIt_2

Because of this thread (yes, I'm blaming you, TAM!) I broke down and borrowed the Shades of Grey books from my friend this weekend (I think she was mortified when I spied them on her bookshelf.) As a writer, I usually steer clear of bad writing . . . but I guess I wanted to see what the fuss was about and judge for myself. Also, D/s is my kink. A very strong one, and one I've come to know quite a lot about. 

My observations, having read only half of the first book:

1. Yep, abysmal writing. But I've seen worse. Hunger Games and Twilight come to mind--though admittedly I couldn't get through more than a few chapters of either, and only because I wanted to see what my preteen daughter was reading.

2. Author did her research, and, if you ask me, had legal counsel. IMO, the consent is loud and clear at every turn--the ceding of power is nothing more than consensual role playing--this is stated or alluded to several times. "Hard limits," "soft limits," "safe words," "BDSM checklist"--all standard fare among the responsibly playing BDSM community, and clearly laid out to newbies seeking to enter the community. 

3.The general psychology of D/s is laid out fairly accurately, as are the emotional struggles that a sub goes through regarding individual choice versus societal conditioning. In the scenario in the book, it is the dominant who is seeking to fulfill his kink. Although I've read only part of the first book, the author is laying the groundwork for this being Ana's kink, too--she just hadn't had the time to discover it about herself. I could be wrong . . . but there are many clues that point to this. 

4. Despite the bad writing, the dominant-sub dynamic is believable enough, although the author is really ginning it up with romance. Yes, they have a contract that discussing such things as anal fisting and power shifting , but there is plenty of chivalry and stomach butterflies and sweetness, too. As dominants go, Mr. Grey is pretty damn accommodating. And, of course, they are both very attractive. 

I suppose I'd classify it as D/s erotica. Unless you're turned on by that sort of thing, or open to understanding the psychology behind it, I can see where you see the scenarios described here as threatening, debasing, even dangerous. I'm like, "bring it, Mr. Grey!" It's _Story of O_ that always scared the pants of of me. (ahem)

Oh, and I love how Mr. Grey is the energizer bunny of f*cking. And how she explodes into orgasm whenever he commands her to. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I WISH!!!


----------



## TiggyBlue

Created2Write said:


> BLEH.
> 
> You know, I get the hype of erotic fiction. Sex sells. I only read a few pages of the book(I flipped to the middle) and it was the most horrifyingly _bad_ writing I've ever read. It wasn't erotic at all. It was...gross. Really, really gross. Horrible descriptions. Horrible writing.
> 
> I watched the trailer. I hope the movie flops, though I doubt it will.


Didn't do anything for your inner goddess?


----------



## Anonymous07

I haven't read the books and don't care to. I also won't watch the movie. The whole BDSM stuff is just not my cup of tea and I wouldn't be comfortable with any of it. The rapey-ness feel of it just creeps me out. I'll save my money.


----------



## Nikita2270

> I haven't read the books and don't care to. I also won't watch the movie. The whole BDSM stuff is just not my cup of tea and I wouldn't be comfortable with any of it. The rapey-ness feel of it just creeps me out. I'll save my money.


What?!?

You don't want to crawl around on the floor in latex with a gimp mask on and clothespins on your nips calling control-freak, pudgy, pale dude, with a 2 inch pud "Master?"

How could you pass that up?

BDSM is so very, very, very goofy and lame.

Why any grown woman would fantasize about this pathetic crap is beyond me.

The only good sex is sex between two consenting equals who challenge each other and know what they're doing.


----------



## Pandakiss

TiggyBlue said:


> Didn't do anything for your inner goddess?




I know you weren't talking to me, but no. It made this mistress curl up in a ball, and pull the covers over my head.


----------



## Pandakiss

Nikita2270 said:


> What?!?
> 
> 
> 
> You don't want to crawl around on the floor in latex with a gimp mask on and clothespins on your nips calling control-freak, pudgy, pale dude, with a 2 inch pud "Master?"
> 
> 
> 
> The only good sex is sex between two consenting equals who challenge each other and know what they're doing.



About halfsies for the first part. And I whole heartedly agree with the second part. Especially "know what they are doing". I think the book was more S&M then D/s. S&M is quite similar, similar as in tamer. S&M is very intense, and very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing. And some predator will be quick to take advantage and show the whole crazy world to an unsuspecting victim.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Who cares what other people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms and who are we to say what they are doing is gross? Gross to you, I get it...but claiming it is just plain gross, goofy and lame (and then further describing the straw people who don't even exist as pudgy control freaks) is just being judgmental and mean for no reason.


----------



## jld

You're funny, Nikita.


----------



## Created2Write

TiggyBlue said:


> Didn't do anything for your inner goddess?


Nope. My inner goddess prefers classic erotica, especially erotic poetry, and my own erotica. I've made myself very excited while writing erotic poetry for my husband. He likes what I write too.  

It kind of stinks though because a lot of the erotic poems I write are some of my best writings, and I can't publish them because my family and friends would flip out. Hmpf.


----------



## TiggyBlue

I find it funny that 50 shades of grey is so heavily linked with BDSM, It seems a very twisted version of BDSM.


----------



## Pandakiss

[Q UOTE=TiggyBlue;9797450]I find it funny that 50 shades of grey is so heavily linked with BDSM, It seems like a very twisted version of BDSM.[/QUOTE]


It's not a twisted version per say, but it's on the extreme edge of the spectrum, where as lightly tugging hair and light spanking is the other end of the spectrum. 

S&M can be very dark.


----------



## TiggyBlue

> It's not a twisted version per say, but it's on the extreme edge of the spectrum, where as lightly tugging hair and light spanking is the other end of the spectrum.
> S&M can be very dark.


It's not the darkness of the acts that seem twisted more the sub/dom personalities and dynamics. That's just what I've been told about the book and been the pages I've been sent, granted I haven't personally read all of the books.


----------



## GettingIt_2

I'm three quarters through the first book . . . and I'm finding it pretty vanilla romance. I'm assuming it gets darker as the series goes on? The bad writing is still pretty distracting . . . not sure how long I'm going to be able to hang in there!

Curious what others saw in it that was dark. He's loving it, she's loving it--what's not to love? :scratchhead:


----------



## Pandakiss

TiggyBlue said:


> It's not the darkness of the acts that seem twisted more the sub/dom personalities and dynamics. That's just what I've been told about the book and been the pages I've been sent, granted I haven't personally read all of the books.




That's the way I looked at it too. Sub/dom are just a few of the "labels", if you will, of the BDSM world. It's written as D/s, but I don't think it comes across as the writer intended. At least to me. 

But in BDSM there are a lot of category's and lots of sub-category's within. And since everybody is different, lots of rules for some, and less rules for others. It's a big confusing complicated world, even if you are into it, if your not, more confusion and waaayyyyy too complicated. 

To me, the book is a lame romance, only lame cuz I read better, and the kink aspect comes off as unresearched and off base. But that's is just my personal view.


----------



## Adelais

Didn't read the book. After watching the trailer you linked, I won't be watching the movie either. Not interested in porn or adultery of any kind.


----------



## EleGirl

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> Didn't read the book. After watching the trailer you linked, I won't be watching the movie either. Not interested in porn or adultery of any kind.


Adultery? Is one of the characters married?


----------



## GettingIt_2

Pandakiss said:


> That's the way I looked at it too. Sub/dom are just a few of the "labels", if you will, of the BDSM world. It's written as D/s, but I don't think it comes across as the writer intended. At least to me.
> 
> But in BDSM there are a lot of category's and lots of sub-category's within. And since everybody is different, lots of rules for some, and less rules for others. It's a big confusing complicated world, even if you are into it, if your not, more confusion and waaayyyyy too complicated.
> 
> To me, the book is a lame romance, only lame cuz I read better, and the kink aspect comes off as unresearched and off base. But that's is just my personal view.


I've often said that "BDSM" is so broad a category as to be almost useless. Some people see the pudgy gimps with dungeons, some see D/s power exchange, others the erotic spanking and the hair pulling. Then there is the issue of whether it's a sexual kink or a lifestyle kink or both? And whether it's within a long term monogamous relationship, or something done with strangers one hooks up with through the community? 

I'm not seeing much hardcore BDSM or D/s in Shades of Grey. I'm seeing pretty traditional romance framed with some trappings of power exchange--VERY, VERY consensual power exchange which gives both parties a lot of pleasure. Meh. Not so dangerous.


----------



## Pandakiss

I can get behind that. The only thing that seems apparent to me is because she is a virgin, hence very limited sexual experience. He seems to have full knowledge and the ins and outs of the lifestyle. He must have forgot, to inform her of her rights and trust is an absolutely a must, just 100% full trust. 

Without passing info on to your partner, that's deception. How can you trust someone 100% you don't know?, well you can't. So he is taking advantage of HIS knowledge and uses leverage to talk her into it. 

No safety was set in play. No safe words. Safe words keep everyone healthy. No boundaries. Some people don't like a d!ck up the ass, some do. Not talking about limits also is....well not wrong, but not right to do. Communication is a major factor in the trust thingy. 

Yes. BDSM as a whole, is huge. Therefore, talking about things is key. Telling your sexual partner what you are into, finding what they are into, and finding new things together to be into. 

D/s is only maybe 10% power. Lots of people assume the Dom has ALL the power. Untrue. The sub has total control and total say so in what happens. If your sub says no d!ck up the ass, then it's a full stop, don't cross that line, no matter how much you want it. 

A good/great dom takes total care of their sub. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. If your sub wants to play rape, and you as the dom are not into it, full stop. Boundary. Line not crossed. 

Safety is rule number one. Communicating your wants/needs looooong before that type of sex happens, and listing to the other persons wants/needs before hand. 

So that's what I got from the books. That's why I don't like them. It's your job as the one with the kink to tell your partner the full details of your kink. Maybe I'm just reading to much into it. The main thing is both parties knew what they were getting into, and they both came here for the same reason.


----------



## over20

EleGirl said:


> Adultery? Is one of the characters married?


I think she might have meant infidelity.


----------



## EleGirl

over20 said:


> I think she might have meant infidelity.


What difference to you see between infidelity and adultery in this context?


----------



## over20

My bad , I was thinking fornication (sex between unmarrieds) but typed infidelity......you are right infidelity and adultery are the same.


----------



## GettingIt_2

Pandakiss said:


> I can get behind that. The only thing that seems apparent to me is because she is a virgin, hence very limited sexual experience. He seems to have full knowledge and the ins and outs of the lifestyle. He must have forgot, to inform her of her rights and trust is an absolutely a must, just 100% full trust.
> 
> Without passing info on to your partner, that's deception. How can you trust someone 100% you don't know?, well you can't. So he is taking advantage of HIS knowledge and uses leverage to talk her into it.


Hmmm, see I thought he did inform her of her rights--in fact I thought the book goes overboard in this area. He was clear from the beginning on the sort of relationship this would be. They negotiated a written contract which laid out explicitly what they would and would not do sexually and non sexually. He asked her to do research on her own, and answered her questions. He gave in on points that she said were hard limits for her. He even relaxed some of _his_ hard limits when she asks him to. 

Now, as far as the trust issue goes--THIS is where I have issues with the D/s dynamic as laid out the story. This is the sort of relationship where you should not "got with your gut" on trust. Healthy D/s relationships, IMO, can't exist without the sort of trust that evolves over YEARS. You have to absolutely know your partner, and know yourself. Not something you're gonna get after three weeks--but what kind of novel would this be if the D/s was developed over years between an established married couple? Ha, not the kind that sells like this one did. People love that hot new romance aspect. 

That being said, plenty of people in the community hook up and "play" with folks they don't really know. I'm not going to pass judgment, but there's a lot of room for bad stuff to happen there, same as there is lots of room for bad stuff to happen when you don't move carefully into any new relationship. As far as new D/s relationships go, Grey and Ana at least discuss in great detail what they will and will not do. And I think Grey does go very slowly in introducing her to "his world." 

I also think the author goes through some pains to hint that Ana is very much inclined towards this kink; she's not being forced into anything that isn't already a huge draw to her anyway. (She says she finds what she sees on the internet "hot," for example.) It's just another aspect of the "fantasy" being built here. Virgin sub meets rich Dom, they fall in love, and the sex is outta this world. 



Pandakiss said:


> No safety was set in play. No safe words. Safe words keep everyone healthy. No boundaries. Some people don't like a d!ck up the ass, some do. Not talking about limits also is....well not wrong, but not right to do. Communication is a major factor in the trust thingy.


They sure did have safe words. Grey insisted on it. He also told her either of them could stop the play at any time, and either of them could walk away from the arrangement at any time. You said you flipped through the book, so maybe you missed the quite extensive negotiation process, the written contract (including checklist), the back and forth discussions, Ana asserting herself, and Grey giving in to her with little push back. When he does test her limits (with her agreement), he is taking it slow, checking on her (during and after), and they discuss it later with an eye toward making adjustments. All standard fare for "safe and consensual" play. 

I guess I don't see where he tried to dupe her. EXCEPT . . . in allowing her in to his life "emotionally." As usual, the "hero" has a dark side, he's been wounded, he doesn't want to close to anyone. Ah, but Ana is different--she is pushing HIS boundaries. He finds himself giving in on his hard (emotional) limits for her. 

This is where I see the fantasy come in--there is so much freaking romance that is infusing this book, that the BDSM elements are really secondary. I don't expect it to be real to life, but none of the characters are very fully drawn; rather, they are just pawns being put through the motions to elicit emotional and/or sexual titillation in the audience. YMMV depending on what you find "hot." 



Pandakiss said:


> Yes. BDSM as a whole, is huge. Therefore, talking about things is key. Telling your sexual partner what you are into, finding what they are into, and finding new things together to be into.


Again, I thought that they were pretty much doing this ad nauseam in the first book--at least leading up to her deciding to enter into a formal D/s agreement with him. 



Pandakiss said:


> D/s is only maybe 10% power. Lots of people assume the Dom has ALL the power. Untrue. The sub has total control and total say so in what happens. If your sub says no d!ck up the ass, then it's a full stop, don't cross that line, no matter how much you want it.


I think there are all sorts of D/s arrangements, and the power exchange is negotiated differently in all of them. But I do agree that the boundaries of healthy D/s always defaults to the boundaries of the sub. Some subs will cede power beyond what they "should," leading a Dom to say "no" either because it's a hard limit for him, or because he recognizes that the sub's kink has overtaken her reason. Remember, Doms have limits and boundaries, too--the needs of every sub is different, and not all Doms will be up to snuff for their needs. 



Pandakiss said:


> A good/great dom takes total care of their sub. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. If your sub wants to play rape, and you as the dom are not into it, full stop. Boundary. Line not crossed.


Yep. If its a limit for a Dom, then the sub who enjoys rape play is out of luck. 



Pandakiss said:


> Safety is rule number one. Communicating your wants/needs looooong before that type of sex happens, and listing to the other persons wants/needs before hand.


I agree. It's a HUGE undertaking to be in a D/s relationship because of the demands of communicating to keep it healthy and to safely move it forward, if that is what the parties are seeking. That is another area where the Shades of Grey books ask for quite of bit of suspension of disbelief--we're supposed to believe that Grey is a high powered business owner and that Ana is a new college grad launching a move and a job search . . . but all they ever do is flirt, talk or email about their relationship, go out together, f*ck, and sleep! I mean, when do they get groceries! It's another reason why I think that entering into a HEALTHY D/s relationship with someone you barely know is pretty damn impossible--it's just so damn time consuming. 



Pandakiss said:


> So that's what I got from the books. That's why I don't like them. It's your job as the one with the kink to tell your partner the full details of your kink. Maybe I'm just reading to much into it. The main thing is both parties knew what they were getting into, and they both came here for the same reason.


I guess I got the opposite impression--that the author is going overboard to put these character through the hoops of setting up consensual non consent. I mean, this stuff isn't rocket science--it's all out there on the internet. But of course what is actually happening between Ana and Grey is a huge fantasy--same as what happens is any bodice ripper you pick up. I'm not a fan of bodice rippers--and Shades of Grey is a perfect example of why (bad writing, flat characters, plot driven, and completely predictable.) I'm going to try to stick with it out of curiosity over how the author continues to handle the D/s and BDSM elements, but, like someone observed in this thread, it is rather like force feeding oneself a tub of peanut butter . . .


----------



## Pandakiss

Well I did say I skimmed through. I have some time on Sunday I'll go and do some reading.


----------



## GettingIt_2

Pandakiss said:


> Well I did say I skimmed through. I have some time on Sunday I'll go and do some reading.


Really, if you have anything remotely better to do with your time, I wouldn't recommend it . .


----------



## Pandakiss

Well now I'm curious and maybe I'm remembering totally wrong

But in the name of science....um research....um dammit I'm just nosey now and I gotta know!!!!!





*hangs head in shame, looks nervous with dark glasses on a ducks into book store*


----------



## GettingIt_2

Pandakiss said:


> Well now I'm curious and maybe I'm remembering totally wrong
> 
> But in the name of science....um research....um dammit I'm just nosey now and I gotta know!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *hangs head in shame, looks nervous with dark glasses on a ducks into book store*



Panda! I thought of you last night as I was reading, and came across this passage in which Christian tells Ana:

"What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power. That's you. I'll repeat this--you are the one with all the power. Not I. In the boathouse, you said no. I can't touch you if you say no--that's why we have an agreement--what you will and won't do. If we try things and you don't like them, we can revise the agreement. It's up to you, not me."


----------



## Faithful Wife

Funny article, especially if you already know who Dave Barry is:

Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From 50 Shades - TIME


----------



## Big Mama

I read all 3 books. They were a great source of dry reading. Just interesting enough to make you turn the page, but no so interesting you had to read more and more. 

I am glad to hear that they were ill written. I struggled to understand them at times but I also have dyslexia and lots of books don't make lots of since. So thank you for confirming that it was not my reading ability. 

It did peak my curiosity and led me to a BMSD site. Not my cup of tea. No thanks. 

On a more personal level, I felt badly for the Christian Gray character. This is what could potentially occur from an early neglect and CSA. 

On the plus side my T said that her clientele had picked up tremendously since the books were produced. Apparently women were coming complaining about in wanting to be dominated and seeking her help to make that happen. But seeing a how she is not a sex T she was not able to help. I did manage to tell her if it was complete domination that ladies were looking for my husband was available. I thought she was gonna choke on her coffee. She thought I was talking about in the bed room, but I was not. 

Total control and domination suck. Ladies don't ever sign your self up for that. It did open the lines of communication between the T and I about controlling spouses (we are not talking about in the bed room either) As a person who has been threw CSA and rape, and spousal abuse I would not recommend this book with out he helpful hand of a qualified T. 

On the plus side for any of you who are interested I did see the sound track is available as well.  heheheh


----------



## Middle of Everything

The Dave Barry article was hilarious. And from the excerpts from the book that he quotes, Oh my God 50 shades is some poorly written crap.

It sounds like a [email protected] soap opera. Which is probably why my wife said she liked the books well enough. Similar enough to the fantasy crap that is soap operas. 

So my wife CLAIMS that 50 shades made her more randy. Huh?:scratchhead: Uhhh did it make you go from thinking of initiating once every 12 days to once every 11? Cause I sure as hell didnt notice anything.

Oh wait. She showed the slightest of interest in a flogger or whatever. Ok go ahead and buy one. Cause I sure the hell aren't. Not that im a prude. Far from it. That could be fun. Mostly the enthusiasm would for sure be fun. But Im not buying another toy to have it collect dust with the rest. 

Sorry end of rant. Just not looking forward to the stupid @ss movie and how much its going to get her going.

Oh and Nickleback [email protected] sucks. They are the musical equivalent of Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light. 
They both have talent, Ill give them that. But what they produce is souless, heartless crap made for people afraid of art and/or music from the heart. Feels like art or music that was made by an attorney or a bunch of suits sitting around a conference table. Blech.


----------



## ocotillo

A few of the plot elements in the book, including the name Grey seem to be lifted from the movie _Secretary_ and the short story it was based on. 

I'm curious if these carry over into the movie or not. -Not curious enough to pay to see it though... -LOL


----------



## Big Mama

amen. I am curious but not curious enough to pay to see it. Maybe I will get it when it comes out at the library. That way it won't cost me a dime.


----------



## weightlifter

Your average billionaire really spends his time pursuing virgins when he gets outright propositioned almost as much as a sports hero...

Another taming the badboy story.

Otoh it was a catalyst (not cause) of a ton of affairs. AM cheater site loves the series for a reason.

Wondering how they could do half the book and not get an X rating.


----------



## Oldfaithful

*Re: Re: Saw "Shades of Grey" Trailer*



ocotillo said:


> A few of the plot elements in the book, including the name Grey seem to be lifted from the movie _Secretary_ and the short story it was based on.
> 
> I'm curious if these carry over into the movie or not. -Not curious enough to pay to see it though... -LOL


Secretary was the first thing I thought of in the first few seconds of the trailer. 

I read the first chapter and it was so poorly written I had no interest in the rest. 

The movie looks just as bad. I just didn't see much chemistry between them and he isn't attractive to me enough for it to be a sexy movie.


----------



## lovelygirl

While watching the trailer ..all I could think of is that I wish I was Anastasia.


----------



## Middle of Everything

committed4ever said:


> " They are the musical equivalent of Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light."
> 
> Hey watch it, MOE! I have a Thomas Kinkade painting that I put up every Christmas and I LOVE it!
> 
> My H rolls his eyes every year when I bring it out.


Not saying Kinkade isnt talented. Same with Nickelback to an extent.

I can draw and so I can appreciate he has talent. I dont even know with training and practice if I could ever paint as well as him.

His paintings along with Nickelback songs just strike me as being created by a machine etc to maximize certain desirable traits and thus maximize profits.

But thats just me. I can be a bit of a snob at times.


----------



## CluelessWif

Hell yes. I enjoyed the books. The writing was crappy but I was able to fix that in my head. I liked it because of the various themes it covers:

1. Mental illness. This is where I was able to connect with the main character. My hubby is ASPD with sociopathic tendencies, so I was able to identify all the points and triggers that come with being married to a person with no empathy or remorse. My hubby' shrink actually told me that I am the only thing keeping my husband on the straight and narrow and that he fears for the world if I ever left. That is a huge daily responsibility and it was nice to immerse myself in a parallel world.

2. This book is acceptable, it's mainstream. For the first time women do not have to hide in their rooms to read erotica. They can sit right on their couch, talk about it with their friends, and see the movie in a respectable theatre. Considering the shame and accusation surrounding female sexuality it is a freeing experience.

3. Men like to say that women want a bad boy, but that is only half true. It is the old romance adage: reformed rakes make the best husbands. Some women really go for this "my love settled him down" ideal. As the wife of a former man ***** I can tell you it is an intoxicating feeling. The permanent bachelor and player gives up his former life because he can't live without you and it makes you feel incredibly powerful, wanted, and needed.

I am glad to see more women question and explore their sexuality. These books were initially put on Amazon 'just because' and were so popular that they ended up in print almost solely by women's tastes and power. That is pretty incredible. And I always cast a stink eye at anyone who judges another's reading choices. We each have our own tastes, and making fun of someone does not bring you any closer to finding your own niche. 

Oh, and while I was reading it the sex was fan-****ing-tastic.


----------



## PreRaphaelite

CluelessWif said:


> Hell yes. I enjoyed the books. The writing was crappy but I was able to fix that in my head. I liked it because of the various themes it covers:
> 
> 1. Mental illness. This is where I was able to connect with the main character. My hubby is ASPD with sociopathic tendencies, so I was able to identify all the points and triggers that come with being married to a person with no empathy or remorse. My hubby' shrink actually told me that I am the only thing keeping my husband on the straight and narrow and that he fears for the world if I ever left. That is a huge daily responsibility and it was nice to immerse myself in a parallel world.
> 
> 2. This book is acceptable, it's mainstream. For the first time women do not have to hide in their rooms to read erotica. They can sit right on their couch, talk about it with their friends, and see the movie in a respectable theatre. Considering the shame and accusation surrounding female sexuality it is a freeing experience.
> 
> 3. Men like to say that women want a bad boy, but that is only half true. It is the old romance adage: reformed rakes make the best husbands. Some women really go for this "my love settled him down" ideal. As the wife of a former man ***** I can tell you it is an intoxicating feeling. The permanent bachelor and player gives up his former life because he can't live without you and it makes you feel incredibly powerful, wanted, and needed.
> 
> I am glad to see more women question and explore their sexuality. These books were initially put on Amazon 'just because' and were so popular that they ended up in print almost solely by women's tastes and power. That is pretty incredible. And I always cast a stink eye at anyone who judges another's reading choices. We each have our own tastes, and making fun of someone does not bring you any closer to finding your own niche.
> 
> Oh, and while I was reading it the sex was fan-****ing-tastic.


I think you really hit the nail on the head Cluelesswif. It's a chance for women to shamelessly, absolutely shamelessly indulge in erotic fantasy right out in the open. The story is pretty simple. Hot, super-rich, powerful, alpha male with 1000 women at his beck and call is tamed by one woman's love. It's absolute fantasy.

As long as the boyfriend/husband gets a boatload of crazy sex out of it from his wife-turned-nympho, I wouldn't complain.


----------



## ocotillo

CluelessWif said:


> This book is acceptable, it's mainstream. For the first time women do not have to hide in their rooms to read erotica. They can sit right on their couch, talk about it with their friends, and see the movie in a respectable theatre. Considering the shame and accusation surrounding female sexuality it is a freeing experience.


I'm not trying to argue; I'm just trying to understand. 

Was _Fifty Shades_ fundamentally different than Anne Rice's _The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty_ or Nicholson Baker's _Vox_ or Erica Jong's _Fear of Flying_? 

If so, how?


----------



## Oldfaithful

Yes because Erica Jong and Anne Rice are good writers.


----------



## ocotillo

Oldfaithful said:


> Yes because Erica Jong and Anne Rice are good writers.


LOL - That's true, but I think one could argue this makes them more rather than less mainstream.


----------



## HappyGilmore

ocotillo said:


> LOL - That's true, but I think one could argue this makes them more rather than less mainstream.


They're not because most of our country is functionally illiterate--the highest reading level of the lion's share of our population is 8th grade. 

Which is the level these books (Fifty Shades) appear to be written at...

Sigh...


----------



## GettingIt_2

I don't think anyone is reading Shades of Grey for James' mastery of the English language, or her impressive use of the elements of narrative, LOL!


----------



## HappyGilmore

GettingIt said:


> I don't think anyone is reading Shades of Grey for James' mastery of the English language, or her impressive use of the elements of narrative, LOL!


Very true, GettingIt, however, I found her lack of skill with prose to be very distracting from the overall story. Even when I tried to read it when I was not drunk, the absurdity of Ana's inner and outer dialogue just hurt my heart. I actually found myself wanting to shoot her. I realized that I hated this fictional character, with all her "holy cows," and "holy craps," and "oh mys!" (this last one makes me think of that commercial with George Takei--oh myyyy). 

James should have considered finding someone else to write it, or at least not writing it in first person (only very skilled writers can effectively write in first person). Or maybe, not foist this garbage upon the world in the first place.

I'll stick with Anais Nin. That woman really knew how to write some sexy stories.


----------



## GettingIt_2

HappyGilmore said:


> Very true, GettingIt, however, I found her lack of skill with prose to be very distracting from the overall story. Even when I tried to read it when I was not drunk, the absurdity of Ana's inner and outer dialogue just hurt my heart. I actually found myself wanting to shoot her. I realized that I hated this fictional character, with all her "holy cows," and "holy craps," and "oh mys!" (this last one makes me think of that commercial with George Takei--oh myyyy).
> 
> James should have considered finding someone else to write it, or at least not writing it in first person (only very skilled writers can effectively write in first person). Or maybe, not foist this garbage upon the world in the first place.
> 
> I'll stick with Anais Nin. That woman really knew how to write some sexy stories.


I know, I love Anais Nin, too. When I was in my 20's, I used to carry her diaries around with me. I really should revisit her. 

I can't say I disagree with you about the writing in Shades. As I read it, I can't shut down the fiction editor in me--I'm ALWAYS aware of her bad writing. I'm a fiction writer, so what I'm about to say might come as a shock: good writers are a dime a dozen. Writers that can sell books like James? Very rare. 

I know lots of writers who have wonderful, artfully written literary novels languishing unpublished and unsold. If and when I get the time to write again, I think I'll try my hand at some entertaining genre writing and not worry so much about character motivation, plausible plot trajectories, and lyricism of language.


----------



## Middle of Everything

RClawson said:


> All I know is my sex life diminished by about 75% once my wife found these books and this lifestyle. She finally read the last one in January and low and behold after 3 years of beating my head against the wall trying to figure out what is wrong she is back to being the woman I used to know. Happy and content and seems to think life has just been grand all along.
> 
> No more dabbling in mommy porn, no more spanking sites and now we have sex more often but her favorite flavor is vanilla most of the time.
> 
> Honestly I am confused as ever just not concerned about where her head is anymore just about where it was.
> 
> And yes those books are crap.


Is it finding the lifestyle in the books, or do you think these books exacerbate feeling of "mid-life" crisis for women?

Taming the bad boy self made  Billionaire that also happens to be gorgeous. 

Then they look at their lives. Pale in comparison. 

Be like if guys got all weepy because our lives dont compare to professional athletes, and I always wish I could have done that.


----------



## HappyGilmore

Middle of Everything said:


> Is it finding the lifestyle in the books, or do you think these books exacerbate feeling of "mid-life" crisis for women?
> 
> Taming the bad boy self made  Billionaire that also happens to be gorgeous.
> 
> Then they look at their lives. Pale in comparison.
> 
> Be like if guys got all weepy because our lives dont compare to professional athletes, and I always wish I could have done that.


I think the "physically attractive young billionaire that knows exactly how to please the woman he is involved with and is kind of a bad boy and dangerous and needs to be saved by a good woman" thing is what appeals to most of the poor wretches who choose to subject themselves to this tawdry piece of fiction. 

If only they knew how absurd the whole idea of a physically attractive 27 year old billionaire actually is. Case in point: my husband is a big game guide, and one of his clients was a 55 year old very wealthy man who had become a millionaire by the time he was 30. He was morbidly obese, a smoker, had to make sure he took his blood pressure meds along with him everywhere he went, and had sleep apnea. Oh, and a very explicit pre-marital agreement. My husband would lie awake in the tent every night listening to this guy stop breathing at regular intervals for a full minute and a half. (lesson learned, my husband now makes sure to have a full health history from his clients prior to accepting them as clients).

Care to hazard a guess as to how this man became a millionaire by the time he was 30? Hint: it involves neglecting your health and your family. Christian Grey would either be a morbidly obese smoker, or a skinny tweaker addicted to Adderall. Either way, he would not have time to be involved the BDSM scene, nor form any relationships with anyone.

But here I am with all that crazy-reality talk. I realize this is all about fantasy, but I feel that this is unhealthy fantasy as it may lead some women to resent their husbands for not living up to this standard. Oddly enough, I've always felt this way about the more mainstream romance novels as well (not to mention that most of the female characters in these books are so insipid, it makes me want to vomit). 

I am also disgusted at the hypocrisy: many of the women who read this trash would be appalled if their husbands looked at porn.


----------



## GettingIt_2

HappyGilmore said:


> I think the "physically attractive young billionaire that knows exactly how to please the woman he is involved with and is kind of a bad boy and dangerous and needs to be saved by a good woman" thing is what appeals to most of the poor wretches who choose to subject themselves to this tawdry piece of fiction.
> 
> If only they knew how absurd the whole idea of a physically attractive 27 year old billionaire actually is. Case in point: my husband is a big game guide, and one of his clients was a 55 year old very wealthy man who had become a millionaire by the time he was 30. He was morbidly obese, a smoker, had to make sure he took his blood pressure meds along with him everywhere he went, and had sleep apnea. Oh, and a very explicit pre-marital agreement. My husband would lie awake in the tent every night listening to this guy stop breathing at regular intervals for a full minute and a half. (lesson learned, my husband now makes sure to have a full health history from his clients prior to accepting them as clients).
> 
> Care to hazard a guess as to how this man became a millionaire by the time he was 30? Hint: it involves neglecting your health and your family. Christian Grey would either be a morbidly obese smoker, or a skinny tweaker addicted to Adderall. Either way, he would not have time to be involved the BDSM scene, nor form any relationships with anyone.
> 
> But here I am with all that crazy-reality talk. I realize this is all about fantasy, but I feel that this is unhealthy fantasy as it may lead some women to resent their husbands for not living up to this standard. Oddly enough, I've always felt this way about the more mainstream romance novels as well (not to mention that most of the female characters in these books are so insipid, it makes me want to vomit).
> 
> I am also disgusted at the hypocrisy: many of the women who read this trash would be appalled if their husbands looked at porn.


See, I have a different take on this. While I agree with you that Christian Grey is a ridiculous caricature of an impossibly attractive and accomplished and beautifully tortured soul, it's not that ideal that appeals to the readers. 

It's his insatiable attraction to Ana--unremarkable and flawed and unable to please his deepest needs--that draws women in. Who wouldn't want to be loved like that? Cared for and worshiped and desired in spite of our imperfections? No matter how many times Ana disappoints, Christian still cares for her and loves her and craves her. That is where I see the fantasy. She feels wanted. 

And guess what guys--you don't have to be a 27 year old Adonis billionaire to deliver.


----------



## HappyGilmore

GettingIt said:


> See, I have a different take on this. While I agree with you that Christian Grey is a ridiculous caricature of an impossibly attractive and accomplished and beautifully tortured soul, it's not that ideal that appeals to the readers.
> 
> It's his insatiable attraction to Ana--unremarkable and flawed and unable to please his deepest needs--that draws women in. Who wouldn't want to be loved like that? Cared for and worshiped and desired in spite of our imperfections? No matter how many times Ana disappoints, Christian still cares for her and loves her and craves her. That is where I see the fantasy. She feels wanted.
> 
> And guess what guys--you don't have to be a 27 year old Adonis billionaire to deliver.


I see where you are coming from. You make a valid point--perhaps my view of it is jaded and cynical, but I think I could not get past the complete implausibility of it all. 

I also saw him as horribly dysfunctional. To later on say that he likes to whip brunettes because they look like his mother--yuck. Very disturbing mommy-issues. Something sincerely wrong with this man. 

Another issue with these books that I forgot to bring up: I feel like he does not represent us dominants correctly at all. We are not kinky because we are screwed up, we are just kinky. I prefer to be in control most of the time because that is what I like, not because it is a defect in my character--not any more than the surrendering of control that submissives do is because of a defect in their characters. 

I like this discussion--I think we are contributing to the dialogue and hopefully encouraging people to look elsewhere for erotic literature (again, I say ladies, read Anais Nin!).

And E.L. James, if you're out there, I'd like to dedicate the song "Word Crimes" by Weird Al Yankovic to you. You're welcome.


----------



## ocotillo

HappyGilmore said:


> They're not because most of our country is functionally illiterate--the highest reading level of the lion's share of our population is 8th grade.
> 
> Which is the level these books (Fifty Shades) appear to be written at...
> 
> Sigh...



I've always been impressed with what seems like a superior command of the English language among the Brits. I don't fully understand their politics, but will watch the PMQs when I get a chance just to hear the rhetoric. It's nothing like the sugar-coated slow pitch soft balls our presidents give canned answers to at press conferences. 

Erika Mitchell was raised in Buckinghamshire and studied history at the University of Kent, but I guess every stereotype has its exceptions....


----------



## ocotillo

GettingIt said:


> It's his insatiable attraction to Ana--unremarkable and flawed and unable to please his deepest needs--that draws women in. Who wouldn't want to be loved like that?


I know it's pointless to nitpick erotic fiction, because by it's very nature it is an outrageous scenario that builds up and overwhelms you.

However Grey's behavior came across to me as predatory. He doesn't seek out an intellectual and social equal, he targets an inexperienced, stumbling virgin. The contract in Chapter Eleven is illegal, plain and simple. It would be criminal to even ask someone to sign it. It was at about that point where I was fantasizing about dragging him through a cholla thicket. - LOL.


----------



## GettingIt_2

ocotillo said:


> I know it's pointless to nitpick erotic fiction, because by it's very nature it is an outrageous scenario that builds up and overwhelms you.
> 
> However Grey's behavior came across to me as predatory. He doesn't seek out an intellectual and social equal, he targets an inexperienced, stumbling virgin. The contract in Chapter Eleven is illegal, plain and simple. It would be criminal to even ask someone to sign it. It was at about that point where I was fantasizing about dragging him through a cholla thicket. - LOL.


I didn't see it as predatory because he did disclose the nature of the relationship he wanted. And he did not know she was a virgin until she told him later after she was already planning to screw him. I do not see Ana as a victim in any way, shape or form. Rather, I see her as asking for and getting exactly what she wants, time and again. Grey relaxes his hard limits long before she does. 

As for the contract, he tells her outright that is not legally enforceable and for use between them only in order to have a clear understanding of expectations and limits. He also makes clear that she is free to walk away from it at any time. In other words: it's meaningless as a way to "force" her to do anything (had she signed it, which she didn't.) 

Also, as I wrote about before, he stresses to Ana time and again that SHE has all the power in the dynamic. I see the whole thing as rather vanilla BDSM, to be honest . . . . the power exchange they play at is so consensual and so fraught with lovey-dovey niceness that it's . . . . . well, not all that dangerous, IMO. 

Maybe you could point out a scene to me that seems particularly menacing and predatory, and in which Ana seems to be sexually coerced?

I find myself in this weird position of defending the dynamic in a book that I really think is tripe . . . I'm not sure how I feel about this. . . . .hmmmmmmmm


----------



## GettingIt_2

HappyGilmore said:


> I see where you are coming from. You make a valid point--perhaps my view of it is jaded and cynical, but I think I could not get past the complete implausibility of it all.


It takes a good bit of squinting for me to get past it, but I do have an interest in the dynamic and how it's being portrayed. 



HappyGilmore said:


> I also saw him as horribly dysfunctional. To later on say that he likes to whip brunettes because they look like his mother--yuck. Very disturbing mommy-issues. Something sincerely wrong with this man.
> 
> Another issue with these books that I forgot to bring up: I feel like he does not represent us dominants correctly at all. *We are not kinky because we are screwed up, we are just kinky.* I prefer to be in control most of the time because that is what I like, not because it is a defect in my character--not any more than the surrendering of control that submissives do is because of a defect in their characters.


Well, I do have to disagree with you here. Some doms and subs seek out those roles because it does help them deal with emotional issues, or issues in their relationships. Their "kink" for those roles might vary in intensity from weak (mildly erotically titillating) to very strong (almost like a sexual orientation), but I know of several cases where D/s is used to cope, and cope well and successfully, with personal issues or issues within a relationship (usually in conjunction with therapy, just like Grey does.) That goes for dominant and submissive alike. Certainly there are other dominants like you out there--but not all dominants out there are like you. 

As for Christian being fvcked up--well, yes he is. Who wouldn't be? But if this keeps him functioning and ultimately allows him to find a relationship and fall in love, then I don't think it's fair to say he shouldn't use it. Again, this is based on my perspective that he's fair and honest with his subs, and goes out of his way to seek consent and be safe. His subs before Ana had all been part of "the community," meaning they sought out doms like Grey for reciprocal pleasure. 




HappyGilmore said:


> I like this discussion--I think we are contributing to the dialogue and hopefully encouraging people to look elsewhere for erotic literature (again, I say ladies, read Anais Nin!).


I like this discussion, too! Yes, read Nin! But I will say that I'm wondering if there is any well-written power exchange erotica out there. I'm sure there is; I've just never been a reader of erotica or any sort. I did like Story of O, which I first read in college, although folks who found Christian Grey distasteful would probably run screaming from Sir Stephen. Safe words? Hard limits? The ability to walk away? Ha!


----------



## ocotillo

GettingIt said:


> I didn't see it as predatory because he did disclose the nature of the relationship he wanted. And he did not know she was a virgin until she told him later after she was already planning to screw him. I do not see Ana as a victim in any way, shape or form. Rather, I see her as asking for and getting exactly what she wants, time and again. Grey relaxes his hard limits long before she does.
> 
> As for the contract, he tells her outright that is not legally enforceable and for use between them only in order to have a clear understanding of expectations and limits. He also makes clear that she is free to walk away from it at any time. In other words: it's meaningless as a way to "force" her to do anything (had she signed it, which she didn't.)
> 
> Also, as I wrote about before, he stresses to Ana time and again that SHE has all the power in the dynamic. I see the whole thing as rather vanilla BDSM, to be honest . . . . the power exchange they play at is so consensual and so fraught with lovey-dovey niceness that it's . . . . . well, not all that dangerous, IMO.
> 
> Maybe you could point out a scene to me that seems particularly menacing and predatory, and in which Ana seems to be sexually coerced?
> 
> I find myself in this weird position of defending the dynamic in a book that I really think is tripe . . . I'm not sure how I feel about this. . . . .hmmmmmmmm


I'm giving in to a, "Hmmmm" here myself. I would say that the taste I got from the first book is going to be tough to prove with isolated quotes because, like any work of erotic fiction, the writing relies upon a prolonged buildup. What strikes me as the predatory nature of Grey is mostly hinted at in the first book and is fleshed out in the second two where Grey's past abuse is revealed. 

I'd also add that I was the oldest child with four much younger sisters as an adolescent and the father of three daughters and no sons as an adult, so my view of Grey is going to be a little more jaundiced than that of a woman who finds him attractive.


----------



## HappyGilmore

ocotillo said:


> I've always been impressed with what seems like a superior command of the English language among the Brits. I don't fully understand their politics, but will watch the PMQs when I get a chance just to hear the rhetoric. It's nothing like the sugar-coated slow pitch soft balls our presidents give canned answers to at press conferences.
> 
> Erika Mitchell was raised in Buckinghamshire and studied history at the University of Kent, but I guess every stereotype has its exceptions....


Ocotillo, if you are implying that I am British, I must inform you that I am a red blooded American, and proudly so. I only hang my head in shame at our lack of mastery of the English language. I place the blame at the feet of our diseased education system, but getting me started on that is beyond the scope of this thread.

I do wonder if the British hang their heads in shame over this whole E.L. James kerfuffle...


----------



## HappyGilmore

GettingIt said:


> It takes a good bit of squinting for me to get past it, but I do have an interest in the dynamic and how it's being portrayed.
> 
> 
> 
> Well, I do have to disagree with you here. Some doms and subs seek out those roles because it does help them deal with emotional issues, or issues in their relationships. Their "kink" for those roles might vary in intensity from weak (mildly erotically titillating) to very strong (almost like a sexual orientation), but I know of several cases where D/s is used to cope, and cope well and successfully, with personal issues or issues within a relationship (usually in conjunction with therapy, just like Grey does.) That goes for dominant and submissive alike. Certainly there are other dominants like you out there--but not all dominants out there are like you.
> 
> *Which begs the question for me, that if these dominants and submissives were to receive comprehensive psychotherapy, would they cease to be kinky? I do not know, but I only know myself. There is nothing to treat when it comes to this. I am not diseased, although one may argue that the way I approach trout fishing borders on the psychotic...*
> 
> As for Christian being fvcked up--well, yes he is. Who wouldn't be? But if this keeps him functioning and ultimately allows him to find a relationship and fall in love, then I don't think it's fair to say he shouldn't use it. Again, this is based on my perspective that he's fair and honest with his subs, and goes out of his way to seek consent and be safe. His subs before Ana had all been part of "the community," meaning they sought out doms like Grey for reciprocal pleasure.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I like this discussion, too! Yes, read Nin! But I will say that I'm wondering if there is any well-written power exchange erotica out there. I'm sure there is; I've just never been a reader of erotica or any sort. I did like Story of O, which I first read in college, although folks who found Christian Grey distasteful would probably run screaming from Sir Stephen. Safe words? Hard limits? The ability to walk away? Ha!


Ah yes, the Story of O! I think if any of the soccer moms who are fans of the Shades Trilogy decided to delve deeper into BDSM and read it, they would most likely be scared off permanently! 

Hmm...now, gentlemen, don't you get any cute ideas about having your wives read Story of O...


----------



## ocotillo

HappyGilmore said:


> Ocotillo, if you are implying that I am British...


No, all I was saying is that the book was not what I would expect of a British author. 

J.K. Rowling, a British children's author was rejected by publishers multiple times because, "...her sentence structure was too complicated."


----------



## HappyGilmore

ocotillo said:


> No, all I was saying is that the book was not what I would expect of a British author.
> 
> J.K. Rowling, a British children's author was rejected by publishers multiple times because, "...her sentence structure was too complicated."


Yes, it is sad that J.K. Rowling was rejected due to "complex sentence structure." I found nothing overly complicated in her writing. In fact, it is very coherent--unlike poor E.L. James, whose inability to conjugate a sentence should have resulted in her writings being put in the trash bin immediately.

Perhaps this will only be one small black mark on the almost immaculate record of fine British literature, a tradition that dates back to Beowulf and continues to the present day.


----------



## arbitrator

TheOMThatWivesWant said:


> Saw it last night.
> More of a 'date' movie than what people were expecting it to be (i.e. a girl's night out movie)
> 
> Guess the director had a tough job trying to make a movie out of such a bad book (_even moreso when the author wouldn't budge on some the most unintentionally funny scripting of all time_).
> 
> I guess it is what it is though: a book that opened up a whole sexual Pandora's Box for women who weren't getting what they _should've _been getting.


*Just as the book was primarily written and marketed expressly for a lot of fantasizing, overly-horny women; the movie producer, not only used the very same philosophy with that market segment of women ~ they also saw that if they made it as appealing to couples, as a "date movie" that was summarily being released on Valentine's weekend, that they could then fill up that many more seats in the cinema, greatly meaning even more money being funneled into their studios pockets!

My guess is that not only will you shortly see sequels in the making, but the X-rated movie industry will now be jumping all over this idea to try their hand at getting their fair share of the profits! *


----------



## Yeswecan

Sex sells. $81 million over the VD weekend. Proof enough that the material does not have to be creative in any way. Offer up the allure and innuendo of sex. The money starts flying.


----------



## WandaJ

I have read the first part. I read a lot, it usually takes me from five to ten days for average book (life is busy). I am also into BDSM. Having said all that .... it took me around six WEEKS to finish book one and I didn't reach for the second one. I was dragging, I was cringing. Very poor writing, infantile. I was considering starting counting every time there was "inner goddess", and some other two phrases that are on every page and that I do not remember anymore.

will watch the movie when it gets to streaming, just out of curiosity.

Someone asked if there are good books with this theme. Yes, but they usually do not become as big hits, so it is hard to find them. Once I risked $2.99 on amazon for an e-book and it was actually well written D/s book, with great writing style, plot, twist in the end. Everything you need in good book plus some spice. The title was cheesy though "The Dom of my dreams".


----------



## richie33

Yeswecan said:


> Sex sells. $81 million over the VD weekend. Proof enough that the material does not have to be creative in any way. Offer up the allure and innuendo of sex. The money starts flying.


Porn is big business.


----------



## WandaJ

richie33 said:


> Porn is big business.


the irony is that for all the scandal, there is hardly nineteen minutes of sex, and the complain is that they do not even show female orgasm. They were trying to avoid N-17 rating, so they had to soften it.....


----------



## WandaJ

Smiling again said:


> I wonder...all those who are critical...did they actually READ the books?


I did and almost got a tick from cringing all the time over that infantile style.


----------



## ocotillo

TheOMThatWivesWant said:


> I guess it is what it is though: a book that opened up a whole sexual Pandora's Box for women who weren't getting what they _should've _been getting.


That's an odd turn of phrase. As someone who read the book, the Grey character struck me as everything that is evil and wrong with men.


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening all
any bets on how long before the "uncut version" (with 3 extra seconds of footage) is released to DVD?


----------



## Maricha75

Smiling again said:


> All weekend I rather enjoyed all of the opinions expressed on FACEBOOK of people who did not read the books or had not seen the movie.
> 
> It was very telling.


You mean those you assume hadn't read the books nor watched the movie, right? :scratchhead:


----------



## Deejo

Well this is pretty much par for the course for TAM, I would say.

Blockbuster books selling millions of copies and translated into 52 languages, and a film version that cost 40 million to make that has already cleared the 100 million mark in worldwide ticket sales.

But everybody here thinks it's crap and nobody's going to see it ...

Sounds about right.


----------



## FrenchFry

I do think it's crap, and I'm not going to see it.

I'm saving my money for Magic Mike XXL.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl

Deejo said:


> Well this is pretty much par for the course for TAM, I would say.
> 
> Blockbuster books selling millions of copies and translated into 52 languages, and a film version that cost 40 million to make that has already cleared the 100 million mark in worldwide ticket sales.
> 
> But everybody here thinks it's crap and nobody's going to see it ...
> 
> Sounds about right.


TAM should start giving out assignment. We all have to go see the movie and then report back here. Write a 5 paragraph review. :rofl:


----------



## ConanHub

I'm not old enough to see that movie...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TiggyBlue

ConanHub said:


> I'm not old enough to see that movie...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's nice to at least one persons inner goddess is still innocent in this thread Conan :biggrinangelA:


----------



## EleGirl

TiggyBlue said:


> It's nice to at least one persons inner goddess is still innocent in this thread Conan :biggrinangelA:


Does Conan have an inner goddess? Who knew? :scratchhead:


----------



## batsociety

I don't plan on seeing the movie but I did read the first book and half of the second. I'm still torn on how to react to it.

On the one hand it is horribly written and I have no idea how anyone could take it seriously. To me it was like that movie The Room, where it's just so awful that you can't stop watching and cringing. And then it's also extremely problematic, it's sexist and romanticizes abusive relationships and behavior (see: chapter analyses). AND it's also just a horrible misrepresentation of BDSM.

But on the other hand, it did encourage people to open their minds and explore their sexuality...

Actually, I'm not torn. This sh*t should never have been published.


----------



## ocotillo

Deejo said:


> Well this is pretty much par for the course for TAM, I would say.
> 
> Blockbuster books selling millions of copies and translated into 52 languages, and a film version that cost 40 million to make that has already cleared the 100 million mark in worldwide ticket sales.
> 
> But everybody here thinks it's crap and nobody's going to see it ...
> 
> Sounds about right.


Have you read the book? (Don't remember if you did or not.)

What did you think?


----------



## *LittleDeer*

I bought the book (cringe) before I'd even heard a thing about it. It was quite funny because I bought 3 books in a book deal and the very next morning I started hearing things about it all over the radio. 

So I of course immediately decided to read the book. It was so badly written and just terrible that I could not get through. I threw it in the bin. 

I have not seen the movie. I have nothing against BDSM in a consenting relationship. However this is just junk. 

It is a book about an abusive stalker weirdo who manipulates a young woman. Not only is it a terrible depiction of BDSM and an awful example of relationships to women, the book was so badly written I could have written a better book when I was 13. 

I haven't seen the film but I give it half a star, because it has that cool actor whatshisname in it from an Irish Tv show that I love.


----------



## samyeagar

ocotillo said:


> That's an odd turn of phrase. As someone who read the book,* the Grey character struck me as everything that is evil and wrong with men*.


...and that a lot of women fall over themselves to be with.


----------



## Smiling again

So we have another person who read part of the first book, Knows that the story is about an abusive stalker, and rates the movie they have not seen 1/2 star for the actor.

This is exactly what I am talking about.

Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to an opinion. But why would you form said opinion and express that opinion to others, when you really don't know?

It is actually a love story that ends happily ever after. The bdsm is simply the foundation the story is based on. Just like in twilight, the foundation was about vampires. But the story is about the relationships of the characters.

It has been blown out of proportion.

I don't care if you like it or hate it. What I don't like is when you judge it and express an opinion about it and did not read it or see it.


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## Deejo

ocotillo said:


> Have you read the book? (Don't remember if you did or not.)
> 
> What did you think?


Got about 150 to 200 pages in before my inner goddess was fed up and ticked off.

Could never shake the notion that had it been written by a male author, it never, ever, would have been given the consideration it was given. Ever. If anything the vitriol surrounding the book would be even more palpable.

I found the effect of the book far more fascinating than the book.

Hell, I was gobsmacked at the idea of a twenty year old who had never masturbated, had an orgasm, or sex and then meets her ridiculously handsome, capable, captain of industry, billionaire boyfriend with a few small issues ... has sex, has an orgasm and then embarks upon a dazzling journey of erotic discovery and lip biting.

So yeah, no plans to see the movie here either. 

However, GF and I are occasionally reading it in bed. I just keep wishing there were cyborgs or ninjas or both in it.


----------



## Deejo

My understanding is, that despite people believing the overtones of Dominance and Submission expressed in the book, that the true underlying theme is not so much that he rocks her world, but that the pretty, sweet, and ever so likable girl next door saves the seemingly perfect, yet all dead inside Adonis playboy.

She is empowered and a stabilizing force, he awakens something in her, and she wants to save him, because she loves him, from himself.

I absolutely believe it's a love story, as written by TMZ. And that's ok too.


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## Cletus

Deejo said:


> However, GF and I are occasionally reading it in bed. I just keep wishing there were cyborgs or ninjas or both in it.


Be gentle, Oh Great Moderator. Your comment made it imperative that I post this old joke from rec.humor (a usenet newsgroup for you young 'uns.)

================================

In-class Assignment for Wednesday


Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.

* * * * * *

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

_Meanwhile,
Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ****pit._

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

_Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
_

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

_Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
_
You total $*&.

_Stupid %&#$!. _


----------



## ocotillo

samyeagar said:


> ...and that a lot of women fall over themselves to be with.


Samy, 

I understand the erotic power of the idea. My criticism is not of the idea itself, but of Jame's schoolgirl understanding of it. 

Maybe this would be easier to illustrate with another genre. We understand the erotic appeal of vampires as Abraham Stoker, Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer have portrayed them. However we also understand that vampires don't exist in real life and if they did, few would really want to hook up with an insanely strong and very hard to kill supernatural creature with a penchant for murdering young women and drinking their blood.

Because of the human nature of Christian Grey, Erika James had a finer tightrope to walk. It's one thing for the Grey character to be a "Monster" in a sexual/erotic sense, but it's quite another when he becomes one in a "Real" sense by satisfying the textbook definition of a sociopath. Unlike vampires, sociopaths do exist in real life and they include serial killers, rapists and mass murderers.


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## jld

Deejo said:


> My understanding is, that despite people believing the overtones of Dominance and Submission expressed in the book, that the true underlying theme is not so much that he rocks her world, but that the pretty, sweet, and ever so likable girl next door saves the seemingly perfect, yet all dead inside Adonis playboy.
> 
> She is empowered and a stabilizing force, he awakens something in her, and she wants to save him, because she loves him, from himself.
> 
> I absolutely believe it's a love story, as written by TMZ. And that's ok too.


Yep, she's the dominant.


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## Cletus

ocotillo said:


> Samy,
> 
> Maybe this would be easier to illustrate with another genre. We understand the erotic appeal of vampires as Abraham Stoker, Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer have portrayed them.


I don't. Never have. It has always seemed just another example of the co-mingling of violence and sex that I have always found troubling.

Crap. JLD is going to be all over me for this one.


----------



## arbitrator

*I was in WallyWorld shopping one evening, when I was over in the book section, where I saw the display for the original 50 Shades. All of the books had cellophane wrapping to where you couldn't examine it, except for one lone dog-eared copy laying there, which I picked up and scanned ~ carefully checking to see that nobody I knew was sitting there watching me!

Made it through only a couple of pages somewhere off in the middle, and politely put it back down onto the display ~ largely concluding that it was little more than another of those erotic dime store novels for females that descibed in excruciating detail what Mr. Grey was either doing to his love interest ~ or was planning to do!

And also, how the principals involved in slickly marketing this book were probably going to make some serious money over this, hand over fist!

Well, as David Hannum, speaking about mid-1800's American showman P. T. Barnum, so eloquently put it, "There's a sucker born every minute!"*


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## Runs like Dog

Trying making a movie from something by Anais Nin. Send those soccermoms screaming for the exit. Incest porn.


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## Lionelhutz

I have seen the trailer too many times now and want it to go away. No plans to see it anytime soon and haven't read the book. 

But I enjoy the reactions of people I speak to about the film because it oftens says a lot about how they look upon sex and sexual identity.

Just like porn among men, it is wildly popular but few people I actually meet admit to watching and liking it. They usually claim to find it "boring" or find it silly etc. 

But I was surprised that it received as many favourable reveiws as it did because given the material, it was destined to be immediately rejected by some critics so you need to handicap the rating at Rotten Tomatos


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## ocotillo

Cletus said:


> I don't. Never have. It has always seemed just another example of the co-mingling of violence and sex that I have always found troubling.


Not even when the idea is couched deeply in fantasy or humor? 

(Like when Keanu Reeves is held captive by Dracula's three brides or when Phillip J Fry is sentenced to death by Snu Snu.)


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## JCD

Haven't read all the comments.

First weekend, it set a record of $82 million for this time period of the year (this is a crappy time to market a movie though)

Sixty eight percent of the audienc were women and the 32% of the men were canonized when they left the theater, or had genitally inflicted lash marks on their backs.

It is expected to do not so well in it's second weekend. Critics and fans generally panned it, but some critics who may have actually READ the book (a substantial number of women who bought it didn't make it past the first hundred pages) said it is, in fact, better than the book...which from the first three pages of comments, wouldn't be hard.

Rumor has it that the main couple had zero chemistry. I saw an awkward interview of them and that seems reasonable to me.


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## Middle of Everything

Deejo said:


> My understanding is, that despite people believing the overtones of Dominance and Submission expressed in the book, that the true underlying theme is not so much that he rocks her world, but that the pretty, sweet, and ever so likable girl next door saves the seemingly perfect, yet all dead inside Adonis playboy.
> 
> She is empowered and a stabilizing force, he awakens something in her, and she wants to save him, because she loves him, from himself.
> 
> I absolutely believe it's a love story, as written by TMZ. And that's ok too.


Deejo nailed it. Sh!tty TMZ, teenager, love story/fantasy.

She saves the super hot billionaire from himself. And they are *gasp* a little "naughty" while doing it. 

If it helps people realize there is sex beyond missionary under the covers in the dark? Great.

Beyond that its crap that could be harmful just like men's porn.

Billionaire Adonis? Please.


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## Maricha75

samyeagar said:


> ...and that a lot of women fall over themselves to be with.


Which is very sad.


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## Q tip

Faithful Wife said:


> Funny article, especially if you already know who Dave Barry is:
> 
> Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From 50 Shades - TIME


now im confused over the meaning of double crap. does it now not mean two folks crapping...

ill wait for the brail version, so no one knows what im reading.


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## Fitnessfan

I read all 3 books and saw the movie this weekend. I liked the first book a lot. I was bored of the same old thing for book 2 and 3 and I thought the movie sucked.


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## ocotillo

Fitnessfan said:


> I read all 3 books and saw the movie this weekend. I liked the first book a lot. I was bored of the same old thing for book 2 and 3 and I thought the movie sucked.


What didn't you like about the movie?


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## Fitnessfan

ocotillo said:


> What didn't you like about the movie?


Honestly the whole thing just seemed juvenile, predictable and boring. Neither of the main characters, Christian or Anastasia seemed realistic and the supporting characters were not developed nearly as much as they were in the book. It's quite boring.


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## Angelou

Have heard about this. . never read the books or seen the movie. Yes I've seen the trailer. IMO it doesn't appeal to me. The actors don't seem to do it for me. Maybe I'll watch it for free in a few months:rofl:


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## JCD

Men, take heart! 

If you too are extraordinarily handsome, self made billionaires who can salsa and fly a glider, you can get contractually kinky sex from a single inexperienced smoking hot wall flower.

The rest of you, are of course, screwed.


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## frankman

Girl tames bad boy novel.

Just with a few kinks... literally.

Hope the 32% of men who saw it got at least got laid for their torture. (And hope there was a generous portion of whoever that actress's anatomy so they were at least somewhat entertained tho they will not admit it to the women in their lives.)

Not seeing it.


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## frankman

TheOMThatWivesWant said:


> What I meant is, it's either caused husbands to re-evaluate the sex-life between them and their wives...
> 
> Or their wives have either had affairs _with _men who can indulge in kinky BDSM sex or left their husbands _for _men who can indulge in kinky BDSM sex!
> 
> 
> Personally, I know of two women this has directly or indirectly happened to.


The wives cheated to go all Christian Grey?

Did their husbands find out?


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## Middle of Everything

JCD said:


> Men, take heart!
> 
> If you too are extraordinarily handsome, self made billionaires who can salsa and fly a glider, you can get contractually kinky sex from a single inexperienced smoking hot wall flower.
> 
> The rest of you, are of course, screwed.


This right here is why women should be just as ashamed for liking this drivel as a guy should be for being obsessed with porn.

Oh and from reading commentary on the book I think you forgot playing classical music very well on the piano.


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## Lionelhutz

JCD said:


> Men, take heart!
> 
> If you too are extraordinarily handsome, self made billionaires who can salsa and fly a glider, you can get contractually kinky sex from a single inexperienced smoking hot wall flower.
> 
> The rest of you, are of course, screwed.


Now you tell me!!

Here I was thinking being middle aged and mediocre would drive the women crazy! 

I'm signing up for glider lessons tomorrow and I will have to wait at least a few weeks to accumulate the billions.


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## ocotillo

Over the course of the trilogy, the Grey character is fleshed out to include the fact that his mother was a crack addict and prostitute; He was abused by her pimp; She took her life in front of him; He was alone with the body for four days; Multiple attempts at therapy failed; While still a minor he entered into a sexual relationship with an adult woman; She introduces him to BDSM, which supposedly helps him to channel his sadistic tendencies, but he still has a repressed desire to harm women of a certain physical appearance (Apparently that of his mother.)

This is *not* just a bad boy.


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## Middle of Everything

ocotillo said:


> Over the course of the trilogy, the Grey character is fleshed out to include the fact that his mother was a crack addict and prostitute; He was abused by her pimp; She took her life in front of him; He was alone with the body for four days; Multiple attempts at therapy failed; While still a minor he entered into a sexual relationship with an adult woman; She introduces him to BDSM, which supposedly helps him to channel his sadistic tendencies, but he still has a repressed desire to harm women of a certain physical appearance (Apparently that of his mother.)
> 
> This is *not* just a bad boy.


Thanks for adding more.

Whats described above is a serial killer. At least in real life that is what would likely happen. That back story fits more on an episode of Criminal Minds or Dexter. Not a "love" story that makes middle aged women swoon.

Knowing all this I REALLY dont see how women could pine for this character.

Oh wait, hes SUPER hot and a billionaire.


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## Maricha75

Middle of Everything said:


> Knowing all this I REALLY dont see how women could pine for this character.


Frankly, neither can I. But any time I point that out, I get "It's just a movie (or book)"... "It's fiction"... or "It's just for entertainment" fired back at me. Uh huh... Entertainment. I don't see the appeal. Especially when I have friends who trigger due to past relationships of that sort. But that kind of thing never happens in real life, right? 

The one argument that bothers me the most is when anyone says that none of what Christian Grey did to Anastasia was abusive, in any way, ever. Sorry, but to say that is to minimize what happened to those who were treated in this manner. One friend has a very strong feeling toward this movie, as well as the books. I asked if she has read them, knowing she has not seen the movie. She has not. The few excerpts she has seen were enough to make her trigger, as they closely paralleled her own experience. I cannot fault her for feeling this way. This is a woman who is very open to so much, even true BDSM. But this storyline terrifies her.


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## ocotillo

Maricha75 said:


> Uh huh... Entertainment. I don't see the appeal. Especially when I have friends who trigger due to past relationships of that sort.


Do you think the movie, Secretary (James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal) would trigger your friends in the same way as Fifty Shades? 

There are some common themes (Including the name Grey) but Secretary seems to have a more humorous tone to it.


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## richardsharpe

Good evening maricha75
Haven't seen it yet, but from what I've read, 50 shades depicts what in REAL LIFE would be a very abusive relationship, nothing like a healthy BDSM relationship.

OTOH it represents a common FANTASY. 

I think this is a classic issue of trying to separate fantasy from reality. I think its fine for people to fantasize about a 50-shades scenario, and to watch a movie / read a book about it. At the same time its vital that no one think this represents how a real-life relationship should go. I'm somewhat concerned that people with limited experience may act on what they see in the movie. (though I admit kids didn't really jump off buildings after watching superman, so maybe there isn't really a problem).


To me it comes down to: Its OK to fantasize about being raped by pirates if that is what floats your boat. Its OK to watch a movie about someone being raped by pirates - as long as no one was actually raped. Its OK to role-play being raped by a pirate - but ONLY if you use safe-words or other consent guarantees. Its NOT OK to actually be raped by a pirate. 





Maricha75 said:


> Frankly, neither can I. But any time I point that out, I get "It's just a movie (or book)"... "It's fiction"... or "It's just for entertainment" fired back at me. Uh huh... Entertainment. I don't see the appeal. Especially when I have friends who trigger due to past relationships of that sort. But that kind of thing never happens in real life, right?
> 
> The one argument that bothers me the most is when anyone says that none of what Christian Grey did to Anastasia was abusive, in any way, ever. Sorry, but to say that is to minimize what happened to those who were treated in this manner. One friend has a very strong feeling toward this movie, as well as the books. I asked if she has read them, knowing she has not seen the movie. She has not. The few excerpts she has seen were enough to make her trigger, as they closely paralleled her own experience. I cannot fault her for feeling this way. This is a woman who is very open to so much, even true BDSM. But this storyline terrifies her.


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## Maricha75

ocotillo said:


> Do you think the movie, Secretary (James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal) would trigger your friends in the same way as Fifty Shades?
> 
> There are some common themes (Including the name Grey) but Secretary seems to have a more humorous tone to it.


Couldn't tell you. I've never seen it. I've heard descriptions of it... enough to know it's not for me. But I have no idea whether it would trigger her or not.


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## JCD

ocotillo said:


> Do you think the movie, Secretary (James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal) would trigger your friends in the same way as Fifty Shades?
> 
> There are some common themes (Including the name Grey) but Secretary seems to have a more humorous tone to it.


Secretary was actually pretty good. Since I am not a BDSM fetishist, it didn't set my 'kink' off...but I thought it a pretty good exploration of the DUAL control aspect of the Dom/Sub relationship. A sub has to want to submit.

So the first time Gyllenhaal's character PURPOSEFULLY made a mistake in her typing, just so she could get a spanking...well...that pretty much tells you quite a bit about the relationship and who controls certain aspects of it.

Not sure how that plays out in RL, but it was funny and evocative, exactly what I want in a movie.


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## ocotillo

JCD said:


> ..but I thought it a pretty good exploration of the DUAL control aspect of the Dom/Sub relationship. A sub has to want to submit.


That pretty much sums it up for me too. The writers took great pains to show that this was Lee Holloway's personality and it had been her personality long before she met E. Edward Grey.

He didn't have to sell her on the idea or trick her into it and he was actually good for her inasmuch as the relationship provided a far less harmful outlet for her destructive tendencies.


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## frankman

Middle of Everything said:


> Knowing all this I REALLY dont see how women could pine for this character.QUOTE]
> 
> Billionaire gets you a lot.
> 
> Look at the guy who owned Norton. Had a villa in central America full of you women. He was old and ugly.


----------



## Pooh Bear

Penny Red | Fifty Shades of Socialist Feminism

:rofl:


----------



## frankman

TheOMThatWivesWant said:


> One of the marriages was pretty bad, tbh...and the husband was rather vanilla when it came to sex according to what his wife told me...like, <dramatic holding up of the book> claiming _"This! It's the type of thing that's causing of moral decline in today's soceity!!"_
> 
> 
> And _then_, following their separation (she left husband for OM), he found the sex-toys, ties, blindfolds, c0ck-rings, etc, in his wife's cupboard.
> 
> That's another soap-opera moment altogether though!


Still. She was cheating. Should have ended it first.

Was the other cheating too?

Cheating. Something I am kind of sensitive about.


----------



## JCD

Pooh Bear said:


> Penny Red | Fifty Shades of Socialist Feminism
> 
> :rofl:


Feminist porn. It took her a little while to write it though since she had to first go to opening night of 50 Shades with sunglasses and a scarf over her head.


----------



## JCD

TheOMThatWivesWant said:


> Except of course it directly attacks feminism… there’s always that.


It's an ill wind that blows no good.


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## ladylaker

Unfortunately, I too read all three books, hoping the writing and the characters would develop. After all the first Harry Potter book is quite elementary, but by the 3rd book, the author along with the characters developed and became a good read! I felt the author copy and pasted the same sex scene over and over and over again. She (the auther) obviously needs an orgasm! I believe there's a sex scene about every 12 pages and the female lead, supposedly being a college graduate and has a "Loose/Sl&t" friend for a roommate throughout her college years cannot be THAT naive and whimpish. 

Gray is chronically picking Anna (Bella- LOL) up and cradling her in his lap. I'm sorry, how often do the men out there pull you onto their lap and "Cradle you"? If a woman is sitting on a man's lap, it's usually because there's not another chair in the room!


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## SimplyAmorous

I just watched this movie online.... yeah you can see it online -for free... though it's censored with some subtitles (in HD too!)

I know some people seem to hate it vehemently and others loved it.. 

I still never read the book (so they say it's way BETTER than the movie.. just reading some of the reviews -some feel the author has the mentality of a 13 yr old [email protected]#)..... aren't people funny..the reviews on amazon alone are nearing 31,000 & over 4 stars....

Has any other book revolutionized so many women in the bedroom - can't be ALL that bad!

Pretty sure I will be buying it soon !.... I was definitely drawn in by the characters... the traumatic background that MADE Christian Grey this man with so many demons, hard, controlling...yet his surprise craving for 1 women turned his world upside down.. he said







... 

WHAT [email protected]#$ That was full of romance ...

It started out with him having "the Power" .. then by the end.. she had it over him... Just gotta say... I LOVED that story line :smthumbup:...

I really had no idea it would BE about a man who is fighting against vulnerability, in need of such healing & how 1 woman can Feed "that something" in him he can't let go of... well that's Romance at it's core.. add the Ravishing fantasies - it all makes perfect sense !...some 60 % of women have those, so they say. 

I thought this was a really good write up on Grey's character.. and yeah. he was







.. my H thought she was







....We both enjoyed it.. for whatever that was worth.. Still want to see it on the big screen though -UNcensored ! 

 A Therapist's Take on Fifty Shades of Grey


----------

