# First Christmas and Holiday season



## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

It has been a while since I posted - but I have regularly followed the boards. I have been having a bit of difficult time getting prepared for the holiday season as it will be the first one apart. Now, my ex is doing ALOT of crap behind the scenes which annoys the hell out of me. 
1) She would not assist in buying my son's plane ticket home and tried to get him to scapegoat me to do so (which I eventually did). 
2) Then she wants to have Christmas both with her AP (now her spouse) and here. So she bought our other son his ticket home BUT ONLY after she celebrates Christmas with him and his daughter. My son is pissed at her especially when I told him of her motivations. 
3) She will also want to create Christmas here - like it always was - as to cover up what she has done and is doing and try to make me out to be the bad guy. That is, she will invite me to her sister's place for "family dinner" knowing that I will say "no" and use that as a way to say "See, your father does not want to spend Christmas with us"..I hate her conniving, manipulative ways.
Any thoughts on how to deal with such a htcib?


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Ignore her! She is non-existent!
She is what she is!Treat her the way you treat a street dog barking at you,would you care! No!
You do what gives you peace!


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

All you can do is be honest with your son. Make sure he knows what an affair is. That his mom was a WW. That her new husband was the OM, WW affair partner.

Say this without anger. Just state as plain fact. That affairs are wrong, explaining the damage affairs do. Again, do this calm without anger. Your job is to equip your son with the truth, not to alienate him from his mother. You have to give the line that people some times make bad decisions.

To alienate him from his mom is a line you don't want to cross. The courts don't like that.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

The holidays are always the hardest time of year, sorry you're going through this but you gotta get the first one over with some time, right?

Be honest with your children and dont let her ruffle your feathers. She has no say in anything right now. You do it how you want to do it. She lost that right when you divorced!


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