# Need Advice- Don't Want to Give up on Him



## armywife0520 (Aug 29, 2011)

I've been married to my husband for all of 7 months and I am already in a crossroads of whether to divorce him or not. I do not believe in divorce. I prayed my whole life that God would never allow me to be faced with this situation but here I am. I met my husband at 17 and it has always been a 
complicated, crazy situation. He had always had a girlfriend that he was on and off with and when I went away to college, we stopped talking and a few months later she was pregnant and they were engaged. I thought it had ended there then but it never did. He left her and we reconnected. He joined the military and here we are two years later married. The first few months were awesome and I was so happy. Four months in decides to leave me and run back to his ex, telling me he wanted his "family" together and that didn't involve me. He spent a month playing house with his ex and his son until she kicked him out and told him to leave her alone. He then came back to me and slowly in the past couple months I thought we were getting to a point where we might be able to fix this marriage. Until recently, there have been more issues. I found texts in his phone asking his friends about a girl he had seen and just other things a married man shouldn't be saying. He apologized, said he knew it wasn't right and that he's going to work on being a better husband (didn't know it was so difficult). Over the weekend I found porn on his computer that he of course swears he didn't download but I know he is lying. I thought I knew my husband very well and I thought I at least knew how disgusting he thought that was and he was at least 100% satisfied with our sex life, but being that we still don't live together since the separation I don't always know whats going on. He got a "facebook" which has been a source of contention in our relationship before we got married and he agreed not to have one because it causes issues, but he now tells me I'm being insane and he's going to have one whether I like it or not (completely disregarding how upset it makes me because I have zero trust and I know he will go and flirt with girls on there). He still claims he's not sure where our marriage is going because he does want his "family" together but a part of him also wants this marriage. I feel so dumb, used, and abused. I am a devout Christian and truly believe in forgiving over and over again.. but he's not sorry. He doesn't plan on changing and I'm just really losing hope. How much is too much? How many more times can I be walked on? He can't possibly love me if this is how he treats me. I love him more than anything in the world and that's why I haven't given up on him. There have been so many good times and he's been faithful and perfect at times but it never lasts. We are so young and I truly believe he will be an awesome guy when he stops his immature antics. I know nothing is impossible with God. I just don't know if I can emotionally take the stress of worrying and checking up on someone 24/7 to make sure they are not unfaithful yet once again, it is honestly killing me. Filing for divorce is really seeming like my only option, but like I said I don't believe it in and I just wish he would do it. Any advice would be appreciated.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

What kind of life do YOU want? Think about it. Then look at what you have now. What needs to change to get what you want? What actions are required to make the change happen?


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## armywife0520 (Aug 29, 2011)

Thank you for your response. I wish I knew the answer to any of those questions. All I know is I do not want to spend my whole life anxious and paralyzed by this feeling. If I knew it would get better I would stick it out, but I don't know that. And all I am told is the old adage "A leopard never changes his spots".


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