# Child Support during Separation/Divorce Question



## thegreatshow (Sep 16, 2013)

My wife and my self have been together since February of 2006. We married in March of 2011. In January or 2015 we separated though are currently still living together and have our own partners. We both work retail with her making around 15 an hour and myself 10 an hr. Our daughter and my son from a previous relationship are both covered under my insurance. In regards to my son I am paying around 220 a paycheck to cover insurance and child support. Which leaves me with about 450 a check.

The easy answer would be to get a 2nd job. Though the reason I am still living with my separated wife is that both of us combined only have her sister and my mother. My mother is suffice it to say mentally unstable and a hoarder and her sister works 50-60+ hrs a week. Plus her sis has a 4 year old daughter to take care of as well. The main reason I wouldn't be able to have a 2nd job is I altready have a full time job. And the fact that my ex wife works at 5am so I am the one who gets up in the morning to get our daughter ready for school every day and on weekends work late to watch her while the ex works during the day.

The other reason I am not sure about how much I should be paying or even if I should be required to pay child support is the fact that my wife has a daughter who is 13. And has never required her ex fiance to pay child support. If he is not paying child support why would I be required. Mind you he makes more than me as he does maintenance work on RV's and pays 200 a month for his son but nothing for his daughter nor covers her under his insurance. So basically as of now I make less than an hr than him , pay child support for my son and cover both of my children under my insurance. I realize it may sound petty or that I am trying to be cheap or get away from paying child support for my daughter. But that is not the case. In the past numerous times it had been brought up not just by me but by her friends and her sister that her ex should be paying child support. And her answer was always no. She would give the response that her mom would always down her dad because he was on disability and couldn't pay child support so basically she didn't expect him to pay and didn't want to have their daughter hate him. Which is fine but why would she expect child support from me then?

We have discussed it and she believes that she is entitled to child support. My question is how much do you think would be acceptable? Given that I still get up to get our daughter ready for school and might continue to do so. Which would mean once I move in January getting up at 430am just to get over to her house to be there for our daughter. Plus keeping her all weekend for her to work. That in itself to me would save an immense amount of money in daycare costs. Combined with the fact that she is insured under me as well.

Having never gone through a divorce I am not sure how a judge would view all of that. Or if it is even wise to bring up the fact that she has an ex who she doesn't require to pay child support. Thank you for reading this any any and all responses would be greatly appreciated.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Her ex not paying support will not be part of the equation. That's her problem and she should be asking for child support. 

Does she work full time also? If so, it sounds like you might break even here since she makes more money than you do and you're paying the health insurance for your daughter. The "formula" usually goes by income and the number of overnights each person has. You can reduce the amount of child support you pay by having your daughter overnight at your place during the week in addition to weekends. In fact, if you go to 50/50 your ex might end up paying YOU child support. I have a female friend who has to pay her ex child support because she makes more (and they have 50/50 custody).


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

You pay child support because its your child and your responsibility.

Pretty much every state has guidelines that help determine the amount of support, and most have some sort of preliminary on-line calculator. The results aren't written in stone and there are lots of variables, but it gives you an idea of how much you might be liable for. The amount of physical custody can figure into it, but that changes state to state as well. Some states look at the number of overnights, some don't care until you reach a specific number of days before it impacts support. 
Either check our your state child support office, which should have a calculator, or take a quick look at :
Child Support Calculators - By State - AllLaw.com


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

> The easy answer would be to get a 2nd job.


I would be the last person to cavalierly say that. 1) there is still high unemployment. If millions of people are still looking for a job. If I were an emplyer, I would most likely hire the person that is unemployed or is prepared to quit their current job........ because, which leads to point 2......

2) most likely, where ever you live in the US, you're probably already driving at least an hour each way to work. FT job and FT commute, and people will still think it's safe for you to take on another job. Tell them dream on, or just ignore them.


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Her ex not paying support will not be part of the equation.


Well it could be. 

He should call her ex and find out how he got out of it.

Then he just has to follow the same strategy to convince her he doesn't have to pay it either. But then again you'll have to get the nod from the courts since they won't sign off on the divorce if it's not a fair agreement for the children.

In my state you'd be on the hook for 17% of gross income, even if you participate in a certain percentage of child raising responsibilities, although the child support you are already paying would be subtracted from your gross income prior to making the new child support calculation. In my state one parent is considered custodial the other is the noncustodial parent, there's no grey area in between that bases support on how many overnights are spent with the child.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

While you live in the same house and share expenses, you are already both supporting the children and nobody pays anybody CS.

Once you live in separate homes, you should pay CS based on your incomes and your time with the child you both share. Don't voluntarily pay CS for any non-biological child of yours - if she thinks you should be paying, let her take you to court.


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