# Advice needed please-one sided love, two sides wanting reconcile



## kdruark

Is there hope for rebuilding a marriage when both partners want to but one feels like they aren't in love with the other? My h and I were separated for a few months and now we are trying to work things out. We are expecting our first child any day now and I'm scared that things aren't gonna get any better. We have both done horrible things to each other at the worst possible times in our marriage. I have been doing pretty good about not letting what he did affect my side but he is having more trouble with getting past my mistake, even tho mine was almost two years ago and his was two months ago. He says he wants to be in love with me again but isn't feeling it yet. I think he is still hurt and having trouble breaking thru the thought of getting hurt again. I have been nothing but cooperative and loving towards him and trying to make the changes he has asked me to do. I just don't know how to help him realize that I'm not going to hurt him again and that I love him more than he knows. I have tried to tell him, to be more affectionate but not smother him, to do everything he asks. I am confused on how to make my husband fall back into love with me. We are both different people than when we got married but I know that we are still right for each other. Any advice?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crisis1008

Have you tried marriage couseling. 

I don't know what mistakes the two of you made, but to some folks feel the type of mistake matters. I mean, hypothetically speaking, if one of you called the other a name and the other committed adultery, then some would feel that adultery would weigh more than calling someone a name. Get my drift? Please, know that I use adultery as an example as some believe it is the worst sin in a marriage, and to show the difference in its weight. 

Then again, maybe you both committed adultery. You... two years ago, and your husband... two months ago. One can assume, in this case, that the two of you were together when you may have committed adultery, and apart when he committed adultery. In this case, I am not saying that one has more weight than the other, rather I am saying that he may feel your hypothetical mistake holds more weight than his hypothetical mistake, as you were together when you did it and apart when he did it. You follow me?

It is odd that your husband would be able to remain with you for over a year after your mistake, then leave a few months before your first child is due. Unless your mistake was a chief complaint of his throughout the time you were together, I can't understand why it would take so long to bother him. Maybe he had another reason for leaving and is using this as an excuse not to return.

I am certain it must be very hard on you to go through this with your first child on the way. It just seems odd that he would leave you while you were pregnant after all that time had past since you made your mistake. Are you sure you would want to be with someone who states he does not feel that he loves you? Do you really think he will "feel it" soon?


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