# After over 25 years, I am still learning!!



## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

I have been on TAM over 7 months and some of the threads are quite sad. By reading these it has helped me understand my man and has given me a strong desire to please him even more sexually. 

I haven't denied my husband, in the next breath I wasn't the aggresser in performing oral. 

This past year things have changed considerably. Me giving him oral as foreplay has become quite common (75%). Me giving him oral as stand alone, almost as much as PIV! Seeing him get so much pleasure from it, is what gives me pleasure and the desire to do it even more. I have to admitt, I love the way he looks at me the rest of the day after I start his day off that way too!! Wish it didn't take me this long to realize this!!


Happiness breeds Happiness!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Brandy905 said:


> I have been on TAM over 7 months and some of the threads are quite sad. By reading these it has helped me understand my man and has given me a strong desire to please him even more sexually.
> 
> I haven't denied my husband, in the next breath I wasn't the aggresser in performing oral.
> 
> ...


What motivated you to start to add oral fun to your daytime startup routine? I believe that almost every honest man would admit that getting some oral loving from their wife is the best attention one can ever receive.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

We have always been busy with many activities, work, family, kids etc. I also have to mention that the first 24 years of our marriage I worked the grave yard shift. That meant we only slept together twice a week. Almost 3 years ago I got day work. I found this site back in February, looking for a way for us to connect more. With the kids getting older and us having more time for us, it was time.

I have been going through the big change and back in April my sex drive went through the roof! The more I read, the more I understood my husbands point of view and how he felt. I could feel the pain in some of the threads here. I tried to learn and do more things. The more I did the more I needed to do. 

Don't take this wrong, but I still feel that we could connect better than we do, but there has definately been major improvement.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You seriously rock! Teach younger women your wisdom! &#55357;&#56841;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i applaud you brandy

Isn't it funny (no) how we discover that pleasing our spouses leads to a better relationship and we get back way more than we give in return.

instead we too often spend enormous energy fighting for control over the relationship because of our paranoia and insecurities.

I think Freud called it neurosis.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Go bless u , God Bless you , God bless you .

In my 17 yrs of marriage I never got a Bj ,
she never gave me except vanilla or vanilla on top ,
She even doesn't like me go down on her ; she kills the moment though I made it sure that I don't seek a reciprocal actiona from her .

Now I am so sad , 

we only do few times per month ; like robots ; it hurts me a lot ; 
i urged her to work on it .
I urged her to widden the boundaries.
I spend nights since years sleepless.
dreaming that one day she will understand .
I spek to her softly .
I am tired , really tired ,
I had a heart stroke last week,
I am 43 
she blamed for it because I am outragious !
God bless you lady ,
there is nothing , beleieve nothing in the whole world more blessed than when 2 spouses body unify ; in my religion it is said that angels fly happy around them .
so may angels be around u , and wish one day my wife would wakeup.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

Zouz, please realize I still have a way to go. I am still quite vanilla, but I am trying. Have you ever suggested your wife come to TAM? I have gotten so much insight here.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I love your thread title, Brandy. After 31 years together, I'm still getting a grasp on what the questions are, let alone the answers.


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## MotoDude (Sep 15, 2010)

Zouz, I know how you feel, I left due to that, married for 19 years. Now I'm with a woman who cant keep her hands and mouth off my pant.

I have more sex in a year then I was with the ex for 19 years of marriage.


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Good to hear Brandy!!! 
I'm curious, since you've been staring off some of his days with some oral pleasure, how has he responded? Is he more affectionate towards you than he was previously? More (dare I say) touchy feely? Does he communicate more? 
I personally love to give my wife oral and she reciprocates eagerly. I do however also just enjoy when she comes up behind me and hugs me, pinch my butt etc. I'm sure most men on this site that rarely/never get oral would love to print your original post and your answers to my questions to show their wives.
Good on you for, ahem....stepping up to bat


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

thenub said:


> Good to hear Brandy!!!
> I'm curious, since you've been staring off some of his days with some oral pleasure, how has he responded? Is he more affectionate towards you than he was previously? More (dare I say) touchy feely? Does he communicate more?
> I personally love to give my wife oral and she reciprocates eagerly. I do however also just enjoy when she comes up behind me and hugs me, pinch my butt etc. I'm sure most men on this site that rarely/never get oral would love to print your original post and your answers to my questions to show their wives.
> Good on you for, ahem....stepping up to bat



I will try to answer your questions, but i believe the wife has to want it. I found this site looking for advise to improve our marriage.
My huband has always been touchy feely but now i feel love instead of feeling like a piece of meat. I see different and he comes across different. Reading here i see things from his point of view. Yes he does communicate more. When i start his day off that way, we both go to work with a smile. Later in the day i recieve a sext and thank you then it all starts again! I stopped letting him perform oral on me about 20 years ago, this year i have started letting him again. Its not every time, maybe once a week, i could never get it stand alone because i always want him! It is very satisfying and grattifying after starting his day that way, the look in his eyes and knowing I put it there! I have come a l ong way and still going!


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Why would have stopped letting your husband giving you oral for 20 years???? Did he seem to not enjoy it or was it just more of a turn off for you??? I told my wife last night if she wanted it a certain way to guide me through it. She said she's quite happy with the way I perform down there and said all is great. I can't think of a time where she has never wanted it or I have not done it for her. Giving and receiving oral is a normal part of our sex lives and I'm sure it always will be. She has never woken me up with a bj and it think it would be nice, but if she doesn't want to I'm ok with it. Maybe I should wake her up like that tomorrow and see if she likes it


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

thenub said:


> Why would have stopped letting your husband giving you oral for 20 years????


I was self-conscious, I didn't believe he could actually enjoy it and I never knew how to let go and enjoy it.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Believe us when we say we love this. It's exactly where we men love to be, right there kissing, licking and then looking up to see if you are loving it.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

ankh said:


> Believe us when we say we love this. It's exactly where we men love to be, right there kissing, licking and then looking up to see if you are loving it.



:iagree: This, x 1 billion! 


Edit: and nibbling. Don't forget nibbling!


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

This feeling of Why would a guy want to be down there kissing my *****? derives from insane mothers, and other women authority figures in a woman's early life who apparently don't appreciate oral love. Because those types don't understand they vilify such oral sexual pleasures.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

ankh said:


> This feeling of Why would a guy want to be down there kissing my *****? derives from insane mothers, and other women authority figures in a woman's early life who apparently don't appreciate oral love. Because those types don't understand they vilify such oral sexual pleasures.


I agree. Those kind of women need a good tongue lashing...


Until they're pulling the slats out of the headboards, and screaming the lords name...


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Maybe you should let go a bit more. Who's going to know besides you and your husband? I'm sure he would be delighted if you told him you are starting to enjoy it. If you still have some awkward feelings about try a 69 position, then both your minds are occupied and you can pleasure each other.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I am one of the more 'negative' posters on TAM as I am married to a woman who has no interest in sex and even less interest in what I might feel or need.

So to read a post such as this is truly inspiring! After 25 years of marriage Brandy appears to have realised that she might not have been as sexual as her husband would have liked....and know that she has realised just how important sex (love making) is to her husband and has 'stepped up' to the bar they are both reaping the benefits.

Sex really is THAT important to men...its how we bond, its how we show our love and how we want to BE shown that WE are loved.

Brandy - I tip my hat to you. I hope your husband realises how luck he is!


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## HiLibido (Dec 10, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> By reading these it has helped me understand my man and has given me a strong desire to please him even more sexually.
> 
> This past year things have changed considerably. Me giving him oral as foreplay has become quite common (75%). Me giving him oral as stand alone, almost as much as PIV! Seeing him get so much pleasure from it, is what gives me pleasure and the desire to do it even more. I have to admitt, I love the way he looks at me the rest of the day after I start his day off that way too!! Wish it didn't take me this long to realize this!!


Yeah, OK, please call my wife right now, TODAY, and tell her how this works!

Ready? Her number is (***) 555-****. Hurry!


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

Reading here has made me realize that it is not dirty that men enjoyed it, etc. It sounds crazy but I couldn't even tell him that I wanted to start receiving oral again. When I posted my first thread here, I was given alot of advise, the more I read the more I wanted. At the suggestion of people here, since I was uncomfortable, I just showed him this site and let him read my thread. I would never go back and change that, except I wish it would have happened sooner!!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Great job on showing him your thread. I really wish more people would do that. Some spouses are really in the dark.

And it would be interesting to hear the "other side," too. Not meaning that about your situation, Brandy.


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Like I said, I was in a legal roommate situation with my wife for a few years up until a few months ago. Sure we had sex a couple times a month, gave and received oral etc. but any other time we were practically ignoring each other. We never even fought about anything. 

I finally found this site after a google search for sexless marriages. What an eye opener it was coming here. I downloaded electronic versions of NMMNG and MMSLP and started working on myself. (I know I'm rambling on but there is a point). After about a month and a half my wife took notice. We started talking a lot more and I started to give her hugs more often. She started doing the same to me. 
I finally just came out and told her that when we go a long time without touching it hurts my self worth. I believe most men respond to their wife's touch In a positive manner and vise versa. 
Now during sex the oral part has gone through the ceiling in terms of wanting to please each other. I'm sure you have noticed the same in your marriage as well. 
Just remember, he asked you to marry him and you should be able to tell him anything without feeling anxious or embarrassed. After all that's what best friends are for. 
Maybe some of the men who are not getting the oral they once used to should leave your original post open on their computer so their wives will see it and get curious enough to read it. If they haven't, they should also read the above mentioned books and start making some changes for the better. I did and the results are well worth it, for myself, my wife and our marriage. 
So don't be shy, let him eat at the "Y"


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