# How long had you been together when he/she cheated?



## iwillsurvive (Mar 4, 2009)

I know that there isn't any specific timeline to when a marriage has it's biggest struggles, but sometimes I see a pattern to when things seem to get rockiest. So I'm curious more than anything. 

1- How long had the two of you been together when your SO/spouse cheated (if you want to split time together and time married that's fine). 

2- Were there any major life changes that had happened around that time? 

For us:
1- I had known my husband for 8 years, but we had only been married 4 1/2. 

2- We had recently bought our first home.

OK- YOUR TURN!


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## frozensprouts (Aug 1, 2009)

We've been married 13 years, and the major change in his life was an upcoming deployment to Afghanistan ( we have also had a lot of other stresses in our lives-e.g.- having three kids, two of whom are "special needs kids", etc.)


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I've never conclusively been able to prove an affair and she still denies everything, but I'm sure she's had a couple now. She just hasn't reasonably explained why the first time she went into a male co-worker's room at 2:30am and didn't come out until 4:00. The second time I found condoms and a lot of phone evidence she was not faithful.

The first time she cheated was after 7 years of marriage. Very rough year for us as a couple and handled badly by both of us; one child was molested by the son of a family friend, another child was diagnosed partially deaf, conflicting job/family requirements, substance abuse/addiction by her sister, my personal hobbies eating up our "us time", etc. We essentially discovered that year that we weren't on the same page on several issues without resolution or support for each other. We eventually recovered (or so I thought)...

The second (or more?) times was after 13-14 years of marriage. I'm still dealing with that and don't know the reasons or specifics even after half a year of counciling.

Seven year cycle?


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## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

1- How long had the two of you been together when your SO/spouse cheated (if you want to split time together and time married that's fine). 8 years

2- Were there any major life changes that had happened around that time? Moved out, seeking counseling which she is not happy about, still knows that she has contact with him, waiting for an invite to a party that they are both attending...that doesnt happen its divorce.


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## Calypso (May 11, 2009)

18 years and a slow decline of the relationship.


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## New Beginnings (Sep 9, 2009)

19 years. Last couple years were rougher but not any significant problems between us. Her mid life crisis???


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