# I'm not happy for a while



## bettybear28 (Oct 26, 2011)

He's very nice and sweet when we're dating. But after married, he's like different person, always talk to me with bad attitude for no reason. Most of the time I just control myself don't say something back. But when sometimes I can't help to say something back then we ended up argue. He said that I'm the person like to argue, our marriage all about arguement, sounds like he hate me... Then he will not talk to me for days. Everytime I have to sweet talk to him or say sorry, then we start to talk again. This routie things keep going on since we get married. I love him so much but I don't know how much a person can take the bad attitude and temper for the rest of the life of the marriage!! Altough he doesn't physical hurting me but his attitude and temper really hurting my feeling so much!! Just wonder is there anyone out there feel the same way I did.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

How long did you date ? 

Did you never have any conflicts /arguments while dating - to see how you both respond to disagreements ?


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## bettybear28 (Oct 26, 2011)

We dated one and half year before married. Before married, although we argued and has disagreement sometimes but he's the one always compromise and so sweet all the time. I consider myself a reasonable person, but compare to him, I have to say he's just the nicest person I ever met. 

But right after we got married, he'll just so easy get mad of whatever I said or asked. At first I will say something back because I feel he's being unreasonable. But then I learned that I'm the one have to change to please him if I want to keep the marriage. So, for a while I tried not to say anything back whenever he's talking to me mean and I pay a lot of attention to what I said or asked. But I start to realize that no matter how good or nice I'm to him, seems still not satisfy him. He can be one second normal but suddenly just giving me attitude. I understand people may act a bit different after married. But right now, I feel like I don't reconize him no more and we only marrid 2 year. Sometimes, I think either I'm just too stupid to notice his temper before or his acting just too good to be notice. 

Is anyone husband like mine? Before and after like different personality?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband never changed at all but I am sure other wives can relate. 

Sounds like something is troubling him, and he is just reacting to whatever -instead of talking about what is really going on -under the surface, as men ofter struggle talking about their feelings. 

Is he under added pressure at work and he is taking it out on you?

How is the sex life ? Many men get grouchy & angry and their attitudes change -if they want more sex, or feel their advances are being rejected. 

Sometimes when we are dating, we just don't see the flaws, others DO but we are blinded somehow. Or people put on a good show to "catch" someone. Now that he caught you, he has let his hair down. 

Or moving in together, you realize who different you really are & it causes some unforseen tension. What does he seem to be mean about the most?


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

I can relate allthough we argue when we were dating too, but he was always the one,who comes to me and make things better. Now after 1 year of marriage, it's like he's not willing to do any effort to end the arguement before it becomes a big screaming fight. It's like we switched roles. He can become silent whenever he wants and when i try to break it with conversation he gets angrier!


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## bettybear28 (Oct 26, 2011)

He definitely put on a very good show when he's counting me. I should just listen my instinct of "too good to be true". But instead, I just think I'm so lucky to meet him. 

I totally understand he's under work pressure, he tell me everyday how much he hate his boss,co-worker,the work problems. I'm just a very traditional housewife, so I do whatever can do to make him feel relax and comfortable when he gets home. Besides, before I would say some suggestion or comfort him about the work stuff, just trying to help. But he's upset about that I give my opinion and said I'm not helping him feeling better. So, then I just keep my mouth shut and listen only. But then he complained me "why you say nothing, no response". Seems like no matter what I do would make him mad. He does take it out on me whenever he's upset. The bad attitude and temper always put me down, I feel now he's not treating me as his wife, more like a maid or roomate. 

About the sex part, we didn't have that often. Not because I rejected him, it's opposite. He's the one being cold, so many times I'm the one start it then he will do it. I started it not because I really want it actually. But I think in a relationship, intimacy can bring a couples more closeness. But sometimes I felt frustrated that to think "why I'm the one always start first, he don't come to me?!".. Anyway, his anger wouldn't because sex rejection.

Moving together definitely need to adjust for couples. Differnet people, different habbits. But honestly, I can't really pinpoint what he's mean the most. It can be anything, for example, a simple question, a suggestion, spill some water on table or miss his phone call can piss him off. I have to be careful what to say or do stuff, like walking an eggshell. 

I have the exactly feeling like you Charlene. It's just so unbeliveable the change from "the nicest guy"...to "angry man" in so short period of time. Before I got married, I did hear about some man can act so different after they got married. But I would just never consider would happen to me. 

I don't really have friends can talk about my marriage problem. I felt so sad and frustrate that just need to talk to someone my feeling and let it out. Feeling so alone and helpness. Then I go online and glad to find this site, it's a good website. 

Sometimes I felt so sad and frustrated, and I'll just sit here and cry my eyes out. Feeling my marriage is falling apart, and that is the least thing I want to happen of my life. I just want a simple normal marriage and last forever. But seems it's still too much to ask. sigh!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Tell him how his behavior makes you feel. The silent treatment solves nothing...if he keeps doing that to u I can guarantee you will start to resent him. Stop apologizing in order to placate him and smooth things over when you've done nothing wrong...thhat only enables his bad behavior. He sounds like my ex who was an emotional abuser. Read up on it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

Most people say "Stop walking on egg-shells" and that's true. After a fight i walk on egg-shells for a while and when i felt relieved,that things have been good and start acting like myself again, that's when problems arrive again. I say something light or thoughtless may be, then he gets angry at me for "beeing stupid". But come on! Can a peson ALWAYS do the right thing ,say the right thing! I mean that's exactly walking on egg shells ,isn't it ?


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