# Filing for divorce on serial cheater, need advice and support, I'm freaking out.



## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

I have consulted with 2 attorneys and have a consult on Monday. I hope to file for divorce next week. I was feeling really good and now I feel terrified. I've never lived alone. He's always taken care of the finances and I'm going to struggle on my own until the divorce goes through. I don't even have my own credit card. All the money is in stocks and bonds that he controls. My mom is going to lend me money for an attorney. But say he refuses to pay the mortgage. I can't afford too. Say he won't pay our sons daycare. The one lawyer I will probably use said we can get an emergency custody, support and visitation order and I'll go to court in 6 weeks. But 6 weeks is a long time. I have a 2 year old and want to limit his custody because he was trolling Craigslist for sex and I don't know who he will bring home with my son there.

My son is such a mommas boy and I hate to think he'll go to my husband without me as he always wants to be with me. And I feel guilty for leaving my husband, what's wrong with me? I'm trying to picture this. So I file, give him a piece of my mind and tell him to get out. Say he won't go. Say he yells and breaks things. Say he begs to make it work. I feel so weak but I am determined to leave.


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## heartbroken0426 (Dec 4, 2013)

I just went through almost the same thing....literally this week. Does your husband know that you know yet? My STBXH didn't know I found out about his affair so I had time to plan. This is what I did:

Met with lawyer and picked one to start divorce papers. It can take up to 10 days for the H to get served.

Then I had lawyer have the paperwork ready to file for the "sole use and possession of property" injunction ready jet in case my H wouldn't move out. I didn't file unless I had too. Since you have a young don, court date will be set quicker for you.

Then on the afternoon of the day I was going to confront my H, I moved out half of our money from our joint account to a separate account that he didn't have access to.

Lastly, I had someone at the house while I confronted him just in case.

I know this is very hard for you and the pain is unbearable. Be strong the best you can. Be strong!


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## looking for clarity (Aug 12, 2013)

I caught him arranging another hook up on 1/6. I didn't tell my husband I know as he blatantly lies to my face. He reactivated a profile where he listed himself as bicurious and he denied he listed himself as bicurious (um, I'm not blind). I have an appointment with the lawyer I chose on 1/14 to start the paperwork for divorce. My lawyer said we can file a restraining order on the stocks we have and we can be in court in 6 weeks for emergency custody and support orders.

I'm stuck. I want to digest mediation to him rather than surprise him with filing. I think he'll be uncooperative and spiteful if I file behind his back. However , if I tell him he could hide assets but he'd be nicer. I just want to get him out my life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Get the book 'On Your Own Again' by Keith Anderson MD, it talks about how frightening it is to start over and things you can expect to go through. Good luck, it takes at least 3 years to feel 'normal' again I am told. But you will get there.
There is a chapter on finances, too many women give away far too much $$ to get out of a marriage and they deeply, deeply regret it later. Don't rush when it comes to your financial security. Or anything else. Haste is not the best approach in divorce.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

If you borrow money from your family, please do a loan agreement with payback terms. My lawyer told me if I don't do it my STBXH can argue that it is a gift and not a loan. Remember any debt will be split during the divorce as well.

You can also freeze the large sum account up. I accidentally did it when I informed my bank and brokage company of my pending divorce while asking for statements. Most bank and brokage company put a freeze (without you asking) when they hear the word divorce.


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