# what to do, need urgent help!!!!!!!



## verysadtoday (Jan 24, 2013)

Hi i am new here and need some help. I don’t know what to do about my life it really sucks being me i feel devastated about how my relationship has been though.
I have been married for 8 years now. I am of Islamic descent. I am however not a religious person. I met my wife at a my brother’s wedding in Pakistan, I fell for her straight away. She liked me i liked her. I was disowned by family for this as she was from a lower caste than mine. But i still married her regardless and brought her to the UK. I made her understand i was not lie most Pakistan men, controlling there women and beating and so on. I belived in us being equals and to stay equals.
I was diagnosed with testicular cancer when she arrived, i went to hospital on my own and dealt with all the emotional trauma on my own, back then she wasn’t interested in helping me. I was still able to please her but she made me sad because she wasn’t there for me. When i got better i bought a house, i bought her everything she wanted and more. I devoted my time to her, we had 2 boys now one is 4 and the other 3. I help do all the housework and when am not at work i take them out to different places.
A few years past and i go for my checkup and my cancer had returned, i was really scared i asked for help from her and she said no and actually accused me of making up stories of me having cancer, i was really depressed, i thought if i teach her the language she might understand but instead got made to look like a complete idiot in front of my entire family when she said there was nothing wrong with me. I once again went through everything on my own, i pleased my wife sexually, emotionally even with this happening around me, i was scared i was going to die and i need someone i suppose.
One day she told me she had an affair with my younger brother, i had just finished my chemo and was back in the house for a day and i broke i couldn’t believe this she pleaded with me saying to me not to tell anyone and i thinking i have not a lot of time left said ok.
When i got back home from my treatment the police were at my door saying i had assaulted her and arrested me, i was so stunned that i collapsed and was taken to hospital, i was acquitted for not touching her as i was in the hospital at the time, she took my children for 7 months to a refuge and never let me see them but then we reconciled about 10 months ago and every single time i work, every single time i laugh or be happy she always mentions my brothers name and makes me feel really crap about myself, makes comments about my penis however i do laugh this off as i know i am big man. She uses sex as a tool as well. I help her with everything, do some housework before and after i go to work, i spend time with her and the kids. I honestly am such a nice man. But what can i do i feel as though i am being bullied and i cant seem to stand up for myself. I love my children and her, i don’t want to be separated from them again, her friends have really made her think bad things about me. I don’t understand how to actually get past this situation, someone help please


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## OrganizedChaos (Jan 23, 2013)

This woman is a psychopath. Literally by definition she probably is, she can't feel empathy towards another human being and views everyones as an object, or a tool to be used to their own devices. She does not care about your cancer, she cares about herself, when you try to take the attention away from her needs, she will make sure she turns the table on you. 

Get rid of this woman.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

You got her to the UK and now she's trying to get rid of you.

Look... if the cancer is recurring you want to live your life as fully as you can, and for you it means NOT with her. You can still be a father to your kids, just not a husband for her. If you don't divorce, chances are next time she calls the police you will be doing time.


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## led_zepp (Jun 12, 2013)

verysadtoday said:


> Hi i am new here and need some help. I don’t know what to do about my life it really sucks being me i feel devastated about how my relationship has been though.
> I have been married for 8 years now. I am of Islamic descent. I am however not a religious person. I met my wife at a my brother’s wedding in Pakistan, I fell for her straight away. She liked me i liked her. I was disowned by family for this as she was from a lower caste than mine. But i still married her regardless and brought her to the UK. I made her understand i was not lie most Pakistan men, controlling there women and beating and so on. I belived in us being equals and to stay equals.
> I was diagnosed with testicular cancer when she arrived, i went to hospital on my own and dealt with all the emotional trauma on my own, back then she wasn’t interested in helping me. I was still able to please her but she made me sad because she wasn’t there for me. When i got better i bought a house, i bought her everything she wanted and more. I devoted my time to her, we had 2 boys now one is 4 and the other 3. I help do all the housework and when am not at work i take them out to different places.
> A few years past and i go for my checkup and my cancer had returned, i was really scared i asked for help from her and she said no and actually accused me of making up stories of me having cancer, i was really depressed, i thought if i teach her the language she might understand but instead got made to look like a complete idiot in front of my entire family when she said there was nothing wrong with me. I once again went through everything on my own, i pleased my wife sexually, emotionally even with this happening around me, i was scared i was going to die and i need someone i suppose.
> ...


I am so sorry to hear but your wife is a physco just like mine...I am Pakistani too & I can feel your pain. Divorce her ass off....


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Why are you taking this type of abuse though?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

This woman is about as bad as it gets for being crazy, selfish, manipulative. She isn't redeemable.

Divorce her and move on.

Have absolutely nothing to do with her.

There are many good women out there who would love to spend their lives with you.

I wish you all the best my friend.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I agree with everyone. I just wanted to chime in as I think I am the first woman to do so. Yes, your wife is a psychopath and for your own health and happiness, you must divorce her. There is nothing you can do to change her from being completely self absorbed to being completely in love with you, nothing. I'm so sorry that your cancer returned. Live your life for yourself, make yourself happy, be with someone who really loves you!

Good lock!


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

This woman has the characteristics of being borderline personality disorder, please get out of this relationship. She had you arrested on a false charge, she will manage to get you locked up next time for sure. I hear that the UK laws are not so forgiving to men in these situations so please think of yourself and your kids first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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