# Protecting my kids



## Mourning (May 16, 2014)

Is there a way to legally keep "the other woman" away from my kids?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

Mourning - 

I'm no lawyer, but as I understand it, only way to keep the "other woman" (I'm assuming you're referring to your soon to be ex husbands girlfriend?) is if there was some cause for a restraining order (unlikely) or if they are registered as a sex offender, if the latter is the case I know in my state it's required that I be notified if my STBXW brought a registered sex offender around my kids. Other than that, I'm sorry I don't think so.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Either a cause of action such as a divorce or legal separation has to be filed, or, in the absence of that, you would have to present satisfactory evidence to the court that she represents a threat as being a child predator!

That's about all of the options that I can really think of!*


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## Mourning (May 16, 2014)

A legal separation will be filed ASAP. What will that do for me for this situation? 

I realize these are questions for a lawyer and I will ask him, too, but that's not until next week. Right now I'm gathering as much information as I can.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

Definitely a good idea. Take any advice or information you get outside of a lawyer with a grain of salt, especially since every state is different with their family court laws.

With that being said, I think it is definitely a good idea to be gathering as much information as you can. The worst thing you could do for yourself is to be unprepared and blindsided when things start to happen. From my experience, they are going to get a lot worse before they get better.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mourning said:


> A legal separation will be filed ASAP. What will that do for me for this situation?
> 
> I realize these are questions for a lawyer and I will ask him, too, but that's not until next week. Right now I'm gathering as much information as I can.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*Have the lawyer file the restraining order in addition to executing the separation agreement. That should pretty well do it! And if approved and implemented, even if your husband has weekend custody of the kids, she cannot be anywhere around them!

But you better have some very sustainable grounds against her to seek this restraining order, other than for the mere fact that you just don't want her around the kids because you don't like or approve of her! The Court will definitely ask either you or your attorney as to why!*


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## Mourning (May 16, 2014)

No, there are no grounds for a restraining order.

I've heard about people being prohibited from having the kids around people they're dating, or possibly just from having anyone spend the night. 

Is that a component of the separation agreement? Or have I just watched too much TV?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

You can try to put in the separation agreement that neither party will have overnight, or romantic partners around the kids. The problem is that it is an empty threat in most instances. How can a court enforce that? They can't. They don't want to be policing other people's homes.

Unless you have some reason to believe your children are in danger being around the OW, you will not succeed. As the divorce continues, your ability to control who your H hangs around with will also diminish and that is something you will have to make peace with. It sucks, but that is just the way it is with divorce.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

I filed a TRO against my XW due to her numerous aggressive emails. The TRO included, amongst other things, that the OM could not be around my kids. 

OMW included same in her temp orders for her children. 

These, of course, are only temporary solutions and will be seen as controlling behavior by your STBX. 

I know why you would want it but don't know if it's worth the trouble. Just delays the inevitable.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

I can definitely understand that too, especially with kids. I still keep reminding myself that eventually there's going to be another guy in my kid's lives, and it's not going to be me. She could have constant sleepovers and I wouldn't have any say about it. 

Best advice I can give, try not to think about things you cannot control. It will only make things worse. I've definitely learned that the hard way. And don't ask your kids about it either, definitely don't want to put them in that situation, and once you know, what can you do about it anyways? Will only cause more pain.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

movinonup said:


> I can definitely understand that too, especially with kids. I still keep reminding myself that eventually there's going to be another guy in my kid's lives, and it's not going to be me. She could have constant sleepovers and I wouldn't have any say about it.
> 
> 
> 
> Best advice I can give, try not to think about things you cannot control. It will only make things worse. I've definitely learned that the hard way. And don't ask your kids about it either, definitely don't want to put them in that situation, and once you know, what can you do about it anyways? Will only cause more pain.



I agree about not asking kids about it. 

However, you want to maintain a closeness and openness with your children. They may have conflicting emotions when mom and dad have new people in their lives. 

Be open and honest with them. If your X has someone new let them know that you know about it and that it's ok to talk about it.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

how old are your children (sorry if you already said)


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Mourning said:


> No, there are no grounds for a restraining order.
> 
> I've heard about people being prohibited from having the kids around people they're dating, or possibly just from having anyone spend the night.
> 
> Is that a component of the separation agreement? Or have I just watched too much TV?


You can put in a morality clause, but I think these are often very difficult to enforce.


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## movinonup (May 6, 2014)

I would say any clauses or requests via legal documents would be pointless, would cause false hope for you thinking you can still control the situation, but hard truth is that he is going to be around other women, and it's best if you just move on and try to not consider it. Again, I know how hard that is, first hand experience, but not a damm thing you can do about it. Wish I had better news for you. :-/


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

Is there an special reason why do you want to keep your kids away from the ow? How old are them?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mourning said:


> A legal separation will be filed ASAP. What will that do for me for this situation?
> 
> I realize these are questions for a lawyer and I will ask him, too, but that's not until next week. Right now I'm gathering as much information as I can.


You are getting a legal separation and not a divorce? 

I have heard of people getting an order that basically says that until a divorce is final, neither party is allowed to bring the children around any other love interest.

Do you live in one of the few states left that allow for filing divorce based on adultery?


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