# How does a husband become more physically attractive for wife?



## AnotherEarthling

Here is a question for the ladies. I'm a man who wants to become more attractive for his wife. She doesn't want me spending money. That's a problem if I have some things I have to fix about myself physically. Any suggestions on how a man can look better for his wife?


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## ClipClop

Smell good. Dress nicely. Dump the t-shirt and ball caps. Real shoes. Get your hair cut regularly. Provide surprise hugs and literally sweep her off her feet. 

Clean your nails. 

Be interested in her. And make yourself interesting. Read. Go places. Do things. 

Be passionate about life.

And always wear a smile.

I love how my h looks, weight and all. When his attitude is positive, when he is a can do guy, and when he shares with me, I couldn't be happier. The dimples top it off.

When he is a jerk, not understanding of other ppl, when he complains about ppl at work not being perfect, blah. 

What is her complaint? Or do you just want to step up your game?

The guys can tell you about fitness on the cheap if that's something you want to do.

It is great you love her and want to keep attracting her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Arnold

I've been chiseled in the past, although, currently, I am happy being a lardass
In any case, I had really good results, muscle buildingwise and definition wise, with High Intensity Trainig. Google it. There are anumber of workouts and they do not take too long.
Key seems to be going to absolute failure in one set, not resting between exercises, and resting a lot on your off days.
You need to build up your pain tolerance, gradually, as this workout routine, while short, is painful. But, you only do it 2-3 days a week, max.


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## YinPrincess

ClipClop said:


> Smell good. Dress nicely. Dump the t-shirt and ball caps. Real shoes. Get your hair cut regularly. Provide surprise hugs and literally sweep her off her feet.
> 
> Clean your nails.
> 
> Be interested in her. And make yourself interesting. Read. Go places. Do things.
> 
> Be passionate about life.
> 
> And always wear a smile.
> 
> I love how my h looks, weight and all. When his attitude is positive, when he is a can do guy, and when he shares with me, I couldn't be happier. The dimples top it off.
> 
> When he is a jerk, not understanding of other ppl, when he complains about ppl at work not being perfect, blah.
> 
> What is her complaint? Or do you just want to step up your game?
> 
> The guys can tell you about fitness on the cheap if that's something you want to do.
> 
> It is great you love her and want to keep attracting her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This. I would have replied with something along similar lines, and would have probably been less articulate.

Clip makes a good point in examining positivity versus negativity. When my husband is positive and is bright, he shines and attracts me like a magnet. Likewise, when he's grumpy, negative and critical, he's pretty much appalling to me. Repulsive. It makes me want to back off, need space, resent him, even, for not seeing the glass is half full. Sometimes things suck, people suck... But it's about being about to walk away and say that which sucks only contrasts that which is great in life. We ALL have times when we're down, but someone who can handle it gracefully, with vulnerability and honesty, is an absolute gem. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Be kind
Do nice things for her
Compliment her often
Hold her
Hug her
Sit next to her without initiating sex
Touch her not in a sexual, but caring manor
Tell her how much you love her
Buy her flowers or a bag of dove(or nicer) chocolates
Help with the kids(if you have any)
Help with the housework if you don't do so now
Cook a nice dinner and eat by candle light/even if there are kids around
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous

Physically speaking...One thing I wish I would have done earlier in our marriage -with my husband -is have him wear contacts over his glasses, he is a good looking man (at least I feel) but those darn glasses he wore most of our marriage kinda took away from his looks. As we have gotten older, it is the one thing I requested he change - pretty much, so now he wears contacts if we do anything together, and I find he just looks more like a "Stud" that way. 

So important...Be a man of your "word"

Fix what needs fixed around the house -take the initiative before the wife starts whining - I personally find a *handyman *attractive . I am in awe of the things he has done -that seems impossible to me- so often I feel if he starts that project, we are going to have to hire a mechanic to finish it - but he tackles it anyway! Has the garage littered with parts. He has crafted his own tools in a pince to finish very difficult jobs on our vehicles. He may do alot of swearing when he comes to these problems, but it amazes me how he manages to complete these things on his own, he does NOT like to ask for help, very stubborn on that. If it was me, I would have blown the garage up! He is doing the job and I am the one who gets more irritated. 

*Patience *is very attractive, a calm cool demeanor. 

*Humor *- especially Dry humor -if she is getting out of hand, a little down - knowing how to bring a smile to her face with YOUR attitude, making light of the situation. If a friend hurts me for example, he will tell me everything wrong with that person and make fun of thier faults to uplift me- to the point of me :rofl: - always on my side, my biggest fan. 

Not sucking up to other people.

I so appreciate my husbands willingness to help the kids with thier *homework*, that is about the only thing I don't like doing -that Mom's generally do. He steps up to the plate on that one. 

*LISTEN *to her when she wants to talk -if she had a bad day, etc - men often want to FIX, but sometimes we just need heard and understood before that fixing tendency takes over. (my husband shines here -but I hear so many women complain about this one). 

*
Romance her*, hold her in the mornings before you get up, kiss her when leaving for work, wrap you arms around her when you come home -who needs to spend $ on flowers, just her feeling she was missed & thought of -this goes along way. 

If you hear a love song on the radio, let her know you was thinking of her. Always touching, brings back memories of good times. 

Get out without the kids -show her you want to revive what once was between you . Go out on dates, sit close at the movie theaters , holding her hand. Re-visit a necking site, if you have one, bring the memories of the past into the present. Act young, re-experience youth again.


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## I'mAllIn

My H has recently made a few changes that have had surprisingly dramatic results for me.
He use to only shave in the morning for work. He's a very manly man, so by the time we got to snuggle on the couch or go to bed he'd be really scratchy, which was sometimes uncomfortable and annoyed me a little. Now he shaves when he gets home from work so I get nice smooth H to snuggle up to.
He use to come directly home from work and change into jeans, a sweatshirt or t-shirt, and put on a cap, even if we were going back into town for dinner or something. I felt like work got Hot H and I got sloppy/lazy H. Now he stays dressed nicely if we're going out for something. In fact, if we're meeting for dinner just the two of us he'll often purposefully wear full suit and tie because I think he looks hot in them.
He snores which was driving me nuts. The Dr. told him that even though he isn't heavy if he lost just a little weight there was a god chance he'd stop or at least not do it as much. For a long time he didn't even try and that upset me. Now he has started walking with me and watching what he eats, and is dropping a little weight. Even though he still snores, it isn't as bad and because he's making the effort I don't find myself as bothered by it.
So I guess I'd say to you, give her your best you. Don't save it for work or friends. Shave, dress in what she likes best, let her see you working on what needs improvement, even if it's slow work. Then surprise her during the day with a sweet comment or small token of your love, snuggle with her, rub her neck, ask about her day, make her laugh. If you do that good chance any other physical shortcomings you may think you have won't even enter her mind.


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## that_girl

That's funny because my husband's glasses turn me on!  They are the nerdy looking ones and he looks so damn hot in them. YUM!

As far as looking better, I think the first thing is self-confidence. The exudes sexiness for many women.


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## that_girl

> So important...Be a man of your "word"


This.

My husband is the only person I know that says what he means and means what he says and does what he says he's going to.

I find that very appealing.


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## SimplyAmorous

that_girl said:


> My husband is the only person I know that says what he means and means what he says and does what he says he's going to.


I was thinking about this yesterday, how my husband has seriously NEVER let me down once, if so, I surely couldn't remember it -when it comes to "keeping his word" -promises, being on time, etc, It is like ...if the man didn't come through on something he "spoke"-then something must have happened to him! 

Last night laying on his arms , I reminded him how MUCH that meant to me, how he he never let me down......& within seconds he says "Yes I did" .... & reminds me of the time where he was supposed to pick me up from school & drive me home, he was late (he didn't forget, got hung up somewhere-when he got there I was gone) , I went & called my step Mom to come get me & I got grounded. I was in deep trouble cause I was sneaking around to see him. I was just 15 & not allowed to have a boyfriend yet. I guess that really tore him up & he felt really bad for a long long time.

Funny how he remembers impeccably where he let me down, but I had no rememberance of it at all. I suppose if there were other times, he would still be carrying that too.


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## annagarret

This is interesting. When I met my husband at 15 I wanted athletic and ripped and no facial hair. As we have grown older, I still see him as very attractive even though he has a mustache and beard, shaved head and a tummy. I like the older man look way more now than how young men look. I never expected this. I do love when my man wears cologne. It drives me crazy..........but of course a man who smiles a lot is the most attractive of them all


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## SimplyAmorous

annagarret said:


> This is interesting. When I met my husband at 15 I wanted athletic and ripped and no facial hair. As we have grown older, I still see him as very attractive even though he has a mustache and beard, shaved head and a tummy. I like the older man look way more now than how young men look. I never expected this. I do love when my man wears cologne. It drives me crazy..........but of course a man who smiles a lot is the most attractive of them all


I think that is great that as you have gotten older, your tastes have changed right along with your husband. I personally still love the younger look , I am so happy my husband still has a full set of hair, hardly any gray and a pretty flat stomach, as he is just 2 yrs from being the Big 50. 

I do NOT like getting older ! It bothers me, I still feel young and I want to look young. But time isn't stopping, so I need to get over it. 

I think so long as we have the ability, as we age, to look into our lovers eyes, and still see them as that young hot stud, this is an amazing thing . I can do this. Most of my fantasies are going back in time -with him. But it helps that he is still looking pretty good right now. I hope he can always see me through those younger eyes as the beauty slowly fades.


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## RandomDude

I have a 4 pack, the other 2 (or 4) is reserved for my alcohol. Darn wifey, I hate the lower ab sit-ups. Besides it makes me fart.


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## Lon

I think the answer, for a man in general, is to lift weights (high weight, low reps, to fatigue). It boosts not only your strength but more importantly your testosterone, thus your confidence, drive, attention span, energy level, and cardiovascular and long term health. Plus of course it is guaranteed to improve your physique.


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## scione

Buy a bench for bench press. Get some bars and weights. Also dumbbells. That's all you need. It will give you a huge confident boost as long as you are committing to it. Not working out once a week/month. 

Before my wife said I looked like a bean sprout. You know big head on a skinny body. Now she said I look like a "terminator".


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## 4821

ClipClop said:


> Smell good. Dress nicely. Dump the t-shirt and ball caps. Real shoes. Get your hair cut regularly. Provide surprise hugs and literally sweep her off her feet.
> 
> Clean your nails.
> 
> Be interested in her. And make yourself interesting. Read. Go places. Do things.
> 
> Be passionate about life.
> 
> And always wear a smile.
> 
> I love how my h looks, weight and all. When his attitude is positive, when he is a can do guy, and when he shares with me, I couldn't be happier. The dimples top it off.
> 
> When he is a jerk, not understanding of other ppl, when he complains about ppl at work not being perfect, blah.
> 
> What is her complaint? Or do you just want to step up your game?
> 
> The guys can tell you about fitness on the cheap if that's something you want to do.
> 
> It is great you love her and want to keep attracting her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As a wife - I say this is great advice!


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## Sawney Beane

scione said:


> Buy a bench for bench press. Get some bars and weights. Also dumbbells. That's all you need. It will give you a huge confident boost as long as you are committing to it. Not working out once a week/month.
> 
> Before my wife said I looked like a bean sprout. You know big head on a skinny body. Now she said I look like a "terminator".


Add in overhead press, squats, deadlifts - if you only do chest press you won't look manly, just odd


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## Entropy3000

Sawney Beane said:


> Add in overhead press, squats, deadlifts - if you only do chest press you won't look manly, just odd


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I have switched from a more traditional Westside to the Wendler 531. This is more practical for real folks anyway. This matches what you just outlined above.

This is a very prctical and common sense approach. http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?m=PD&pid=2976


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## Entropy3000

Lon said:


> I think the answer, for a man in general, is to lift weights (high weight, low reps, to fatigue). It boosts not only your strength but more importantly your testosterone, thus your confidence, drive, attention span, energy level, and cardiovascular and long term health. Plus of course it is guaranteed to improve your physique.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Sawney Beane

Entropy3000 said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I have switched from a more traditional Westside to the Wendler 531. This is more practical for real folks anyway. This matches what you just outlined above.
> 
> This is a very prctical and common sense approach. Elite FTS


If you do chest press, squats, shoulder press and deadlifts, you pretty much don't need to do anything else. The Big Four, at a good weight level, shorts sets, to fatigue, you will get 80-90% of the effect you want anyway.

Ironically though, if you're kitted out to do them, you are kitted out to do pretty much anything else anyway.


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## ChubbieOwl

You have gotten some great answers already.
I love that reading replies, the one's from the men focus literally on yo9ur physical appearance and the responses from the ladies suggest more intimate emotional acts.
Of course if its a lady you want to impress, then perhaps listening to the ladies is the best course of action :awink:

The only thing I would add to this is as far as physical appearance is concerned - grooming and personal hygiene go an amazingly long way for a woman. Even if your not working out or whatever, being clean, shaved, good breath, and smelling sexy, etc. will get you more than you realize.

Sometimes my husband gets busy (and a little lazy lol) and doesn't shave his face for a while. Then as soon as he shaves, he looks so good I am ready to pounce on him!


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## heartsbeating

When I met my husband he had a slender (somewhat skinny) athletic build, naturally, with a faint 6-pack. By his late 20's he was gaining weight and this suited him more. He wanted to tone up but wasn't into hitting the gym at that time. He started surfing in the mornings as a hobby and WHOA his glutes and thighs really developed. I LOVE it. He was also doing push ups in the mornings. 

My grandad was a boxer in his day. Never drove a car, walked everywhere. He was always a very fit man. He had a skipping rope, carried groceries home while walking and remained toned. 

Depending where you live, look for those "work-out" benches in parks too. A track we sometimes jog along, often has toned guys doing pull-ups etc there. One morning I stopped to try my first ever pull-up. haha yeah, I didn't move an inch and it made me respect those guys so much more. There's probably a lot you can do without needing to spend money with working out. Be more aware of facilities around you and get creative. Good luck!


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## heartsbeating

AnotherEarthling said:


> Here is a question for the ladies. I'm a man who wants to become more attractive for his wife. She doesn't want me spending money. That's a problem if I have some things I have to fix about myself physically. Any suggestions on how a man can look better for his wife?


And of course there's more to attraction that just the physical...


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## heartsbeating

ChubbieOwl said:


> Sometimes my husband gets busy (and a little lazy lol) and doesn't shave his face for a while. Then as soon as he shaves, he looks so good I am ready to pounce on him!


Ha! ...it's funny ain't it? I personally love the unshaved "just stumbled out of bed looking unkept yet amazingly sexy" look. Even though prickly faces feel scratchy against the skin, I both love and hate this.

So to the OP - learn what is attractive to your wife while balancing this with being true to yourself.


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## ffp20

SimplyAmorous said:


> Physically speaking...One thing I wish I would have done earlier in our marriage -with my husband -is have him wear contacts over his glasses, he is a good looking man (at least I feel) but those darn glasses he wore most of our marriage kinda took away from his looks. As we have gotten older, it is the one thing I requested he change - pretty much, so now he wears contacts if we do anything together, and I find he just looks more like a "Stud" that way.
> 
> So important...Be a man of your "word"
> 
> Fix what needs fixed around the house -take the initiative before the wife starts whining - I personally find a *handyman *attractive . I am in awe of the things he has done -that seems impossible to me- so often I feel if he starts that project, we are going to have to hire a mechanic to finish it - but he tackles it anyway! Has the garage littered with parts. He has crafted his own tools in a pince to finish very difficult jobs on our vehicles. He may do alot of swearing when he comes to these problems, but it amazes me how he manages to complete these things on his own, he does NOT like to ask for help, very stubborn on that. If it was me, I would have blown the garage up! He is doing the job and I am the one who gets more irritated.
> 
> *Patience *is very attractive, a calm cool demeanor.
> 
> *Humor *- especially Dry humor -if she is getting out of hand, a little down - knowing how to bring a smile to her face with YOUR attitude, making light of the situation. If a friend hurts me for example, he will tell me everything wrong with that person and make fun of thier faults to uplift me- to the point of me :rofl: - always on my side, my biggest fan.
> 
> Not sucking up to other people.
> 
> I so appreciate my husbands willingness to help the kids with thier *homework*, that is about the only thing I don't like doing -that Mom's generally do. He steps up to the plate on that one.
> 
> *LISTEN *to her when she wants to talk -if she had a bad day, etc - men often want to FIX, but sometimes we just need heard and understood before that fixing tendency takes over. (my husband shines here -but I hear so many women complain about this one).
> 
> *
> Romance her*, hold her in the mornings before you get up, kiss her when leaving for work, wrap you arms around her when you come home -who needs to spend $ on flowers, just her feeling she was missed & thought of -this goes along way.
> 
> If you hear a love song on the radio, let her know you was thinking of her. Always touching, brings back memories of good times.
> 
> Get out without the kids -show her you want to revive what once was between you . Go out on dates, sit close at the movie theaters , holding her hand. Re-visit a necking site, if you have one, bring the memories of the past into the present. Act young, re-experience youth again.


To me, thats all BS. When i did those things i was told im smothering. the only things that worked for me were 180 and mmsl


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## SimplyAmorous

ffp20 said:


> To me, thats all BS. When i did those things i was told im smothering. the only things that worked for me were 180 and mmsl


FFp20, I don't doubt what you say at all ... women are all different, I personally enjoy a man with a more Beta side to him, most women want MORE Alpha, they like the dominant man. 

I am in the minority in these things and I am not one who EVER wanted space from my husband, I never found him smothering, not for a moment. We are both Quality Time Lovers, and Physical Touch. 

My hunch is YOU you are a Quality Time Man and your wife has this on the bottom of her Love language list & Physical Touch too, she was one who wanted her space. I always tend to think of "Acts of Service" women here , I know 2 ladies who could care less about being with their men, so long as they help them around the house. 

I feel when people of very different Love languages get together, they generally DO get on each other's nerves to a certain degree, because they simply can not undestand each other. It takes 2 UNSELFISH people to start giving in each direction. I will be honest, I tend to be a little selfish, so it is a damn blessing I married one is just like myself cause I do believe I would be pulling out my hair if he was NOT the romantic type that I just described in my post, I would infact be pissed off. 


And yeah, that is the truth, women are not all the same. It is one thing I plan to teach every one of my sons - to be darn sure they marry a woman with similar love languages , so they don't end suffering as so many do , causing such a great divide.


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## Bottled Up

ffp20 said:


> To me, thats all BS. When i did those things i was told im smothering. the only things that worked for me were 180 and mmsl


After reading a few different books, I'm starting to realize that there's no one book that can apply to everyone's situation really... however there are aspects of each book that can very much apply and work to each individual's situations. 

However I must agree with SimplyAmorous about the 5 Love Languages. I just finished reading that book and it seems to me that it is absolutely the most practical and realistic ideology applying in a cross-gender fashion, because it is all about improving communication and understanding based on who the individuals are in a specific relationship. Many books are written in a cover-all / gender-wide approach, whereas the 5 Love Languages is all about figuring out who your spouse is and how to communicate with them in a language they understand. You can't get any more precise than this when you're trying to improve your own relationship.


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## txhunter54

I'm still a work in progress. But, I've gotten in shape and continue to workout 5 days a week. Through that process, I haven't really gotten much in the way of a reaction from my spouse verbally. The change has been quite dramatic too. I've lost 30 lbs in the last year and 50 lbs total.

At least she has started working out. 

Sad that I get comments from male and female co-workers but not from her.


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## ffp20

SimplyAmorous said:


> FFp20, I don't doubt what you say at all ... women are all different, I personally enjoy a man with a more Beta side to him, most women want MORE Alpha, they like the dominant man.
> 
> I am in the minority in these things and I am not one who EVER wanted space from my husband, I never found him smothering, not for a moment. We are both Quality Time Lovers, and Physical Touch.
> 
> My hunch is YOU you are a Quality Time Man and your wife has this on the bottom of her Love language list & Physical Touch too, she was one who wanted her space. I always tend to think of "Acts of Service" women here , I know 2 ladies who could care less about being with their men, so long as they help them around the house.
> 
> I feel when people of very different Love languages get together, they generally DO get on each other's nerves to a certain degree, because they simply can not undestand each other. It takes 2 UNSELFISH people to start giving in each direction. I will be honest, I tend to be a little selfish, so it is a damn blessing I married one is just like myself cause I do believe I would be pulling out my hair if he was NOT the romantic type that I just described in my post, I would infact be pissed off.
> 
> 
> And yeah, that is the truth, women are not all the same. It is one thing I plan to teach every one of my sons - to be darn sure they marry a woman with similar love languages , so they don't end suffering as so many do , causing such a great divide.


Actually my language is physical touch followed by quality time.


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## SimplyAmorous

ffp20 said:


> Actually my language is physical touch followed by quality time.


Doesn't surprise me at all, you'd be my PERFECT type man, but I am already taken. Ha ha. If I ever found myself single again, I'd be weeding them out on this basis alone, I would not even consider a man who didn't have those at the top. Never! 

I am convinced that those who are Physical Touch / Quality Time ...then have "Words of Affirmation" following right behind make up the worlds "Hopeless Romantics"... I know I am one, you couldn't beat it out of me. 

Urban Dictionary: hopeless romantic

Where would we be without these types...they likely pen the greatest love stories, move us with their sappy love songs, they inspire us. But to be matched with another who doesn't have an appreciation for this deep abiding affection & bonding......... in my opionion, that would be utter hell. 

Relating to this subject, read my 3rd post down in response to a "clingy' comment. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/38499-male-incentive-marriage-14.html


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## waiwera

What did you do when you were dating her...
Did you worry about personal hygiene, dressing nicely but suitably for the occassion.
Did you show good manners, politeness, attentiveness?
Make her feel special?

That would be a start.

For me... my man comes home from work and before he does ANYTHING he comes and gives me a hug and tells me something like " oh it's so good to be home or love you"
It makes me feel important to him and loved.

Mindyou...I also find the sight of my man cleaning my oven the sexiest thing in the world, he only does it because he knows how much I detest it. 
It's an act of service that he does out of love.


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## anna garret 01

Just always shower every day, put a dab of cologne on your neck or chest, trim your pubic hair, and always brush your teeth, cause the cutest attribute in a man, I think , is the dashing smile...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


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## OhGeesh

All you can do is eat healthy, be hygenic, and workout the rest is all genetics or surgery!!

Gorgeous smiles usually cost money, you can't fix receding hairlines for the most part, wrinkles same thing, so diet, workout, and be hygenic.

The rest is love, trust, etc etc etc etc etc etc. Remember when you are 60 no one will be saying "Damn he/she is smoking hot!!"

It's just the way it is


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## memyselfandi

Every woman is different. I myself don't look so much for what's outside than what's inside. Granted, a woman doesn't want a slob, but a guy that takes care of himself as I'm sure you do.

What's most important of all is a guy that knows how to treat his woman. Romance her but don't go overboard. Respect her. Make time for her. Surprise her every now and then with a romantic card or song you send to her email. Send her flowers every now and then to tell her you're thinking about her. Text her and let her know she's on your mind. Flirt with her. Tell her you love her every single day. Appreciate her...and let her know that.

The list could go on and on. Just think of it like you're trying to win her over day after day even though you already know you have her and don't ever EVER take her for granted.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!!


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