# I am so freakin CONFUSED!



## Imontheverge (Apr 24, 2009)

I am married (10 years) with 2 kids. For the past year my husband and I have been in counseling. We were able to make so much progress in our marriage. We recently renewed our vows. One issue we have not been able to address is how I am not sexual satisfied in our marriage. 

I have also had to focus on addressing some sexual abuse issues from my childhood. These issues have isolated me from my family but my husband has been supportive. 

My dilema now is last month I called a guy who I dated years ago. Our first conversation lasted 3 hours. During that call he told me that he still loved me, had never stopped thinking about me, felt I was the woman who got away. I will say that for some reason I have thought about him often for the past 15 years. I was the one to end our relationship and it was not handled appropriately. I was very mean, cold, and heartless. 
Over the past month this guy and I have talked over 1800 minutes and sent more than 600 text messages. We live about 5 hours apart. I would love to go visit him but he does not want that to happen because he feels he may become more emotionally involved than he already is. He has told me over and over that I need to handle my marriage issues.

Overall my marriage is a good one.....my husband is a good guy, works hard, is very active with the kids, spoils me, etc. The other guy is disabled from a chronic illness. When we were together we always got along, had many mutual interest, communicated well. I left him for another guy who totally mistreated me.

Im so confused. I dont know what to do! I find myself pulling away from my husband. I think about this guy all the time. I have shared this with my therapist who thinks I need to be honest with my husband about our sex issues. She also thinks I have distorted sex issues as a result of the abuse. I know Im having an emotional affair!


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

You need to cut off all contact with the other man and focus on your marriage. The only reason you are pulling away is because you have this "romanticized" view of this other person. Living with him day to day will be nothing like talking on the phone non-stop. I do think you need to bring up your sex issues as well, but the most important is stopping communication with this other person - your in the middle of an emotional affair and you will not be able to work on your marriage while in it.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Affairs...emotional or physical are very addicting. You need to break that habit. It's not healthy for you, the other man, or your marriage. If you have a good husband hang on to him...do what it takes to make your marriage into what you want/need it to be. Don't leave a good husband for an old relationship. Cut off all contact with the OM. Do you have any idea how many woman on this sight would like a hardworking, loving father and husband??? As for the sex....I'm sure there is a way to fix that...how about a sex therapist in addition to the therapist you have?


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