# Today is our aniversary..... it sucks



## Anne1 (Nov 19, 2010)

So it's our aniversary today, been married 10 years. The last 2 years has been a constant struggle. I try very hard to work on this relationship but too much giving and too little receiving going on. 

He got me nothing for our aniversary and made an appointment on this evening of all times. So no going out or even spending time together. He remembered, said happy aniversary this morning and that was it. Did not even kiss me. 

I tried to phone him, he did not take the call. I know he is busy so I'm not making a big thing out of this, I'm just sad. I try so hard, does not seem to work. I need someone to be nice to me.

I have not been around this site lately because I don't want to ponder on my problems too much. I'm anyway to busy to spend too much time on the computer for things not work related. 

I don't have the luxury of thinking about divorce so just cary on and try to make the best of my marriage.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Hi Anne1,

I'm sorry you are feeling down today, you know you can't control him and how he feels but you know what you could do something special for him just because you love him and it feels right to you.......
Cook something he likes, a card, something thoughtful. Don't expect anything just say I love you and just wanted you to know.......
Just enjoy the act for yourself, if the day is important to you then you celebrate it, you were 1/2 of the vows..........celebrate your part and show him you still mean what you said.
Do not expect anything from him.......men are different than women......look good, smell good..........and look like a happily married woman.............
good luck, (((hugs)))


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

I say do the opposite from Jess. Being nice and passive has gotten you nowhere but a sad women. Explain to him that living this was has gotten too painful for you and you are making plans on moving out. Ofcourse this is nothing but a bluff, but it should rattle his cage enough that if he loves and cheerish's you, he'll c hange his ways. If he doesn't he'll show no emotion towards your news. That way you'll know if your marriage is worth fighting for or not.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

The tenth is a big event, the way he treats you is really disappointing! 

No matter how nice and how forgiving we can be, living with a man who is unloving can be very discouraging. 

We should give, but we should receive too. When we receive, we become rich, then we have more to give. If we keep on giving, we don't receive, we become poor, then how can we give?


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

Happy anniversary. 

I think you should take Rob's advice.


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> The tenth is a big event, the way he treats you is really disappointing!
> 
> No matter how nice and how forgiving we can be, living with a man who is unloving can be very discouraging.
> 
> We should give, but we should receive too. When we receive, we become rich, then we have more to give. If we keep on giving, we don't receive, we become poor, then how can we give?


:smthumbup:


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

My 4 years anniversary is coming up this weekend (since we began dating). Nothing compared to your 10. My husband is not talking to me, wont take my calls etc either. Im taking the mixed route... I will get a card but vacate the home and go see some friends. They know we are separated. Take care of yourself. If you dont, you are like a car running on empty and will peeter out.

I did announce divorce to my 1st husband on our 9 year anniversary because of health reasons and the fact that he ignored me like yours is doing now. After getting into bed that night after him cancelling our dinner plans and ignoring me all day, I told him quietly I wanted a divorce. I dont suggest what you should or shouldnt do and you mentioned you cant divorce (my separation may be the same... I dont think my husband can afford to divorce me bc I am owed too much $). I am saying it is disappointing to be in those shoes. Try to chin up and go be around people who make you smile You will get more depressed if you try to initiate contact and get snubbed, trust me.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Rob and Greenpearl are right. My husband would not treat me like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

If your husband is not abusive or plagued with a personality disorder, I recommend buying yourself the book "Why Men Marry B1tches" by sherry argov. It has been painful for me to read (Im a people pleaser like you it sounds) and does not fully apply to where we are in our marriage bc of narcissism, but may help you tremendously if its absent of that abusiveness. Take care!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I'm really sorry your anniversary sucked. Makes you wonder how marriages get run off in the ditch so badly sometimes. I hope you can be nice to yourself today.


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## FCHAVEZ (Jan 20, 2011)

I think you should make the day about you then. Go hang out with some friends...pamper yourself. Just don't be in a woe is me mood. Show him that if you are not going to pay attention to my needs that is Ok I can fulfil them on my own. If he still does not care maybe you need to consider moving on.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Happy Anniversary!

My 26th is next week and I hope I'm not in the same boat as you. I have 6 days to get things turned around.

My 25th sucked as we were having issues, but I got him a card anyway, kissed him, etc., and just let it slide.

I'm trying to learn what is worth fighting about and what isn't.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Has this been the norm for past anniversaries or is this year a first?


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## Anne1 (Nov 19, 2010)

I made reservations for tonight. I gave him a nice gift yesterday and told him I love you. We'll see how tonight turns out.


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## Izabella (Dec 22, 2010)

Anne1 said:


> I made reservations for tonight. I gave him a nice gift yesterday and told him I love you. We'll see how tonight turns out.


happy aniversary,i hope he will respond the way you hope.


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