# Am I over reacting??



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, married for 5. When we got together she told me she occasionally goes out for lunch with the girls from work and one guy who she’s friendly with goes. I have absolutely no problem with this. However it’s now changed, it’s just the male friend who arranges these lunch/teas. He came to our house once to pick her up for tea, he came in whilst she was getting ready so I thought I’d try and get to know him as it’s my wife’s friend after all. He hardly had a word to say to be which I find extremely rude. I have seen him a couple of times since and he pretty much ignores me.
I’ve since been told by my wife that her friend has booked tables at fancy restaurants for lunch/teas. This has made me feel uncomfortable.
Recently she went out with him again for tea, I’d completely forgot she was out and tried to call her but she didn’t answer. I received a text later saying she was out for tea and to text her if I needed to speak to her. This is out of character for her as she would normally answer saying she’s out.
Her friend is married, I find the whole situation weird. The wife and I now fallen out about this am I over reacting??????


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you saying taht she's now going out with just him? The other girls from work are not there?

If this is what's happening, she's basically going out on dates with him. Not ok.


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

Yeah just him now.
It does sound like they are having dates, surely a couple of friends don’t have to book tables at fancy restaurants to have a catch up


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does she go out with female friends much? Or is he the only person she's doing this with?

You are not overreacting. It sounds like they are dating. it's most likely at least an emotional affair.


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

She goes out with her female friends, more often than she does with her male friend.
Really don’t know what to do, I’m not that kind of person to say to her you can’t see ‘male friend’ but I’m not a walkover. To make things worse she works shifts and now is on nights, whilst I work days…. So we’re not really speaking and can’t even talk about it


----------



## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Liverpool6 said:


> Yeah just him now.
> It does sound like they are having dates, surely a couple of friends don’t have to book tables at fancy restaurants to have a catch up


And did he have a fancy hotel room booked for dessert?


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Not really on... you have every right to be upset.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

This is out of line. Married women do not go on dates with other men. You have every right to be concerned. He is trying to get into her pants and she is not shutting him down which is even more worrying. What was the argument about? Does she not see what is wrong with this picture? Engineer a way to speak with his wife and say something like its nice to see our spouses getting on so well together outside of work and how he arranges nice "teas" for your wife. Tell her that she must feel really lucky to have such a caring husband and then see what she says. Do not let either your wife or the POS know that you are going to do this. How old is the POS and how old are the two of you? Kids involved?


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Her getting together with her female friends to discuss her dates with the boyfriend.

You are not over reacting.

Put a stop to it.


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

It's not good but let's not jump all the way to affair just yet. 

Talk to her. Don't attack her. Admit that these one on ones make you uncomfortable, given the locations, & then combined with his rudeness to you. Ask her how she'd feel if the roles were reversed & ask her how she thinks she can change things to make you more comfortable. Hopefully she says something helpful like stop the one on ones or at least go to less romantic restaurants. At a minimum ask if she will have him over to your house for dinner. You really need to stake your claim & stare this guy down 

If she gas lights you or cries that you are being unreasonably jealous then you know you have a problem on your hands.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Liverpool6 said:


> She goes out with her female friends, more often than she does with her male friend.
> Really don’t know what to do, I’m not that kind of person to say to her you can’t see ‘male friend’ but I’m not a walkover. To make things worse she works shifts and now is on nights, whilst I work days…. So we’re not really speaking and can’t even talk about it


What hobbies do you have, and do you have boys night out too? The whole thing isn't a positive.


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

manfromlamancha said:


> This is out of line. Married women do not go on dates with other men. You have every right to be concerned. He is trying to get into her pants and she is not shutting him down which is even more worrying. What was the argument about? Does she not see what is wrong with this picture? Engineer a way to speak with his wife and say something like its nice to see our spouses getting on so well together outside of work and how he arranges nice "teas" for your wife. Tell her that she must feel really lucky to have such a caring husband and then see what she says. Do not let either your wife or the POS know that you are going to do this. How old is the POS and how old are the two of you? Kids involved?


We’re all late 30’s with no kids. The argument was because I hadn’t realised she was out for tea with her ‘friend’ I tried calling to ask if she wanted me make tea. She didn’t answer and happened last time she went out with him. 
strangely enough a couple of weeks ago wife and I went out for tea just to a local pub and just as we walked in her ‘friend’ and his wife walked in. I tried to suggest a table for 4 rather than 2 separate tables. He didn’t seem to want this. So missed out trying to speak to him and his wife.
We’ve not really spoken since Wednesday night, due to both working different shifts. Will have to wait a few more days to get to the bottom of this.

so glad getting good impartial views on here, I’m so laidback and I’m concerned I’m overreacting


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> What hobbies do you have, and do you have boys night out too? The whole thing isn't a positive.


I have plenty of hobbies. I encourage my wife to do the same. As I said in earlier in my post I had no issue at all with her going out with her friend and this male friend. But it’s now turned into what seems like a date nights


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Liverpool6 said:


> I have plenty of hobbies. I encourage my wife to do the same. As I said in earlier in my post I had no issue at all with her going out with her friend and this male friend. But it’s now turned into what seems like a date nights


That is exactly what it is, and your wife seems to like the excitement of looking forward to a date night with the POS and his constant praise and comments feeds her ego. More than you needing to shut this down, she needs to see what is happening and do it herself.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

No kids, no kidding around with her.

The fact that she gets 'angry' when you show concern, shows something else.

It shows contempt for you and disrespect for your marriage.

Say nothing heretofore.

The next time she goes on a tea date or a dinner date with this bloke, disappear.

Literally, for three or four days.

Go to a friends house, a relatives house, a hotel, somewhere and go dark.

Ghost her.

Let her sweat.

If she only shows cold anger and not concern for your welfare, you will have your bloody answer.

When you finally reconnect with her, tell her nothing about your whereabouts, and what you were up to.

Be that cool and confident gent.




_King Brian-_


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I suspect the reason this wanker was unfriendly to you when coming to pick up your Missus for their date, was because your wife has told him bad things about you.

She has told him all the family secrets and opened her heart to him. 

You have been made into the bad guy.

Um.

I would think, she will soon bare her chest to him, next. 

Nuts, it is.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Having friends of the opposite sex is one thing. Dating them is a hard no.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Liverpool6 said:


> I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, married for 5. When we got together she told me she occasionally goes out for lunch with the girls from work and one guy who she’s friendly with goes. I have absolutely no problem with this. However it’s now changed, it’s just the male friend who arranges these lunch/teas. He came to our house once to pick her up for tea, he came in whilst she was getting ready so I thought I’d try and get to know him as it’s my wife’s friend after all. He hardly had a word to say to be which I find extremely rude. I have seen him a couple of times since and he pretty much ignores me.
> I’ve since been told by my wife that her friend has booked tables at fancy restaurants for lunch/teas. This has made me feel uncomfortable.
> Recently she went out with him again for tea, I’d completely forgot she was out and tried to call her but she didn’t answer. I received a text later saying she was out for tea and to text her if I needed to speak to her. This is out of character for her as she would normally answer saying she’s out.
> Her friend is married, I find the whole situation weird. The wife and I now fallen out about this am I over reacting??????


Why are you allowing your wife to date another man with zero consequences?
You’re under-reacting Badly.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Liverpool6 said:


> We’re all late 30’s with no kids. The argument was because I hadn’t realised she was out for tea with her ‘friend’ I tried calling to ask if she wanted me make tea. She didn’t answer and happened last time she went out with him.
> strangely enough a couple of weeks ago wife and I went out for tea just to a local pub and just as we walked in her ‘friend’ and his wife walked in. I tried to suggest a table for 4 rather than 2 separate tables. He didn’t seem to want this. So missed out trying to speak to him and his wife.
> We’ve not really spoken since Wednesday night, due to both working different shifts. Will have to wait a few more days to get to the bottom of this.
> 
> so glad getting good impartial views on here, I’m so laidback and I’m concerned I’m overreacting


So why don’t you call up old boy’s wife and ask her if she knows her husband is dating your wife? Also, inform your wife that dating other men is ok with you since if continues one more time, you’ll see an attorney and she will be a single woman again. She will gaslight tge he’ll out of you and claim you’re controlling And that he’s just a friend. Apparently by the fact that this has gone on so long, you’re too naive to believe your own eyes over her.

Im going to take a guess and predict that she gets really dolled up for their dates, showers when she gets home, and on her date nights you never get any sex—- and perhaps that’s all dried up period. I hope I’m wrong.

sadly, I’m not. I hate it for you. Your wife either has or is in the process of falling for another man. I don’t know why you’re not taking steps to do something about it.


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

My wife going out alone with another man?
Hard NO!
Not answering the phone when I call and telling me to text instead, especially if she were out for a “social tea” no.
I made it very clear years ago if I call it’s for a reason not answering the phone is unacceptable!

And what evinrude said. Call up his wife.


----------



## QuietGuy (Aug 31, 2021)

It sure sounds like they are at least dating. The location does not matter. Regular one on one meetings is something to be concerned about. Who pays? Her also not answering you when she is with him is a very bad sign. Speak to his wife and see if she is comfortable with this situation. The way he acts around you is also highly suspicious. If they are just friends he should be more than happy to interact with you.


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

QuietGuy said:


> It sure sounds like they are at least dating. The location does not matter. Regular one on one meetings is something to be concerned about. Who pays? Her also not answering you when she is with him is a very bad sign. Speak to his wife and see if she is comfortable with this situation. The way he acts around you is also highly suspicious. If they are just friends he should be more than happy to interact with you.


Apparently they take turns on who pays, but he usually chooses where they go by booking tables.
The big thing for me is he’ll not speak to me but then goes out with my wife and obviously has things to say.
I’m going to speak to her on Wednesday when she finishes night shifts.
Part of me is glad that people agree there’s something strange about this. As a usually confident man this situation has really got to me


----------



## Liverpool6 (9 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> I suspect the reason this wanker was unfriendly to you when coming to pick up your Missus for their date, was because your wife has told him bad things about you.
> 
> She has told him all the family secrets and opened her heart to him.
> 
> ...


Yes it is….
I’m usually such a laidback guy who keeps his feelings to himself. Glad I came in this site for peoples views


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Liverpool6 said:


> Apparently they take turns on who pays, but he usually chooses where they go by booking tables.
> The big thing for me is he’ll not speak to me but then goes out with my wife and obviously has things to say.
> I’m going to speak to her on Wednesday when she finishes night shifts.
> Part of me is glad that people agree there’s something strange about this. As a usually confident man this situation has really got to me


Why is the big thing to you not that another man is dating your wife? Why do you care what this guy has to say?

Sir, the most common reason that a married woman won’t answer the phone while on a date with another man is that she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I’ll leave it to you to determine what your texts are disturbing.
You don’t have to have a reason to decide whether your wife dates another man. You don’t have to have his sorry ass over for dinner and stare him down. You don’t have to have a conversation with your wife.

You DO have to have boundaries and a standard boundary is that one’s spouse doesn’t date other people— if you value mono gamy. If you’re ok with your wife having a boyfriend, that’s different. I’m perhaps mistakenly assuming that you’re not ok with it.


----------



## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

Liverpool6 said:


> Apparently they take turns on who pays, but he usually chooses where they go by booking tables.
> The big thing for me is he’ll not speak to me but then goes out with my wife and obviously has things to say.
> I’m going to speak to her on Wednesday when she finishes night shifts.
> Part of me is glad that people agree there’s something strange about this. As a usually confident man this situation has really got to me


He doesn’t want to talk to you bc it’s awkward. He’s actively dating your wife and trying to bed her if hasn’t already, he doesn’t want to chat you up about it.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Captain Obvious said:


> He doesn’t want to talk to you bc it’s awkward. He’s actively dating your wife and trying to bed her if hasn’t already, he doesn’t want to chat you up about it.


why hasn’t OP’s best friend not already hit him over the head with a 2x4 in an effort to wake him up? I’m at a loss here.


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Liverpool6 said:


> As a usually confident man this situation has really got to me


I can relate in other areas, but not in this type situation. 
As my old psychology professor said “any married people running around alone as friends with someone of the opposite sex; whether single or married; will eventually lead to emotional attachment and breakup of marriage and shouldn’t be done if you value your marriage.”

My wife said more than once, seeing others doing it, a married woman has absolutely no business going out like that with someone of opposite sex.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> So why don’t you *call up old boy’s wife and ask her if she knows her husband is dating your wife*? Also, inform your wife that dating other men is ok with you since if continues one more time, you’ll see an attorney and she will be a single woman again. She will gaslight tge he’ll out of you and claim you’re controlling And that he’s just a friend. Apparently by the fact that this has gone on so long, you’re too naive to believe your own eyes over her.
> 
> Im going to take a guess and predict that *she gets really dolled up for their dates, showers when she gets home, and on her date nights you never get any sex*—- and perhaps that’s all dried up period. I hope I’m wrong.
> 
> sadly, I’m not. I hate it for you. *Your wife either has or is in the process of falling for another man*. I don’t know why you’re not taking steps to do something about it.


@Liverpool6 I see you looked past the above post. Ev raised a good point; is she getting all dolled up for these dates? and when she comes home, is she hitting the showers? Also, how is your sex life since she started dating this guy?

You have allowed this to go on for so long and like so many egalitarian thinking guys, have cowered under the controlling card. Your wife is dating a guy right in front of your face and yet you're confused if you're over reacting?
If this guy hasn't already had sex with her, it's only a bit of time before he has her. But my money is that you're dealing with a FWB situation. You should check her phone and social media, for communication with this guy (_possibly under a woman's name if he has a burner_) and with any friend that she may be confiding in. There's usually a friend that will cheer a WW on.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Yeah....not ok.

Would she be ok with you having fancy lunch dates with a female friend?

Tell her that one on one lunches are inappropriate and you'd like to speak to his wife to see how she feels about it.

Her reaction will tell you all you need to know.


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I’m normally not in the camp of “call the wife/husband and expose them” but this forum has reshaped my thinking on that. I think you should reach out to this guy’s wife and just see what she knows...if she knows. I would also discuss with your wife to stop these “dates” and if she refuses, you might have to consider leaving.

Does she share anything about this guy with you? What they talk about?


----------



## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

Protecting yourself from losing someone you love is not controlling. Plus you don't object to every men - just his guy.

Every moment she spends with the OM on 'dates' is (as her husband) your time. And it doesn't matter if they pick nights you're not available. She can wait for nights you're free.

Every spouse has a right to feel safe from infidelity. And every spouse has an obligation to avoid suspicious behavior (including what appears to be private one on one dates).

Your wife has failed big time. Her behavior is selfish, entitled, and lacks empathy for her husband.

And it continues because she believes you won't divorce her over this.

It's time for you to get angry (but civil). She needs to believe she not only crossed a line but you are ready to exit the marriage. btw: It's irrelevant what his wife thinks.

See an attorney about how divorce will impact you (and let her know). It makes a statement.
Separate savings accounts - it makes a statement.

If she wants to remain married, it's simple - no more dates and no more contact with the OM. Why? because their 'dates' have contaminated the 'we're just friends'. To save her marriage she needs to show she's fully 100% invested in you.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Liverpool6 said:


> The wife and I now fallen out about this am I over reacting??????





Liverpool6 said:


> So we’re not really speaking and can’t even talk about it





Liverpool6 said:


> I’m so laidback and I’m concerned I’m overreacting


You are _laid-back_ which is normally a plus in a person.
Your wife is taking advantage of the fact that you are calm, and rarely rattled.
You seem the proper gentleman, and not overly emotional, hopefully not a big girls blouse.

As things are now progressing, your wife will soon be _laid-back on her bum_, if you get my meaning.

It could be that she wants a man who is the_ take-charge_ type.
A man who takes charge of his _affairs._

Blimey!

................................................................

Yes, we are trying to get you to have a strop.

Do not take it personal.

Get angry at the tosser who is evidently trying to shag your darling.



_Lilith-_


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Talking with your wife about this is stupid a d will just leave her feeling your weakness, btw.
This is past the point of talking. Action.
Don’t say a word to your wife.

See an attorney and serve her with papers and call the OM’s wife. You don’t have to divorce if the nonsense she stops, and makes things right with you. Oh, things aren’t that serious, you say? Yes, they are. Everyone sees it but you.
No amount of talking will fix this. You have to unload the biggest can of spinach you can muster on this. 
AFTER calling OM’s wife and telling her what you know, I predict your wife will go ballistic. Let her get out about two screams and a sentence, and drop papers in her lap. Walk away.

Now, if you can do this, and you have that much strength in you not to crawfish, you have a chance at staying married. Let HER come to you snd fix this, if she still cares enough to fix it. Chasing her, talking to her, nicing her back….. won’t work.

You’re thinking she’s not gone? Well her body may be home, but her mind is in the land of unicorns and rainbows with her “friend” who is dating her and having sex with her. A married man doesn’t risk being seen at dinner with another woman by his wife or her friends without getting some tang.

just my opinion…. I know it hurts to hear. You need to hear it.


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Liverpool6 said:


> strangely enough a couple of weeks ago wife and I went out for tea just to a local pub and just as we walked in her ‘friend’ and his wife walked in. I tried to suggest a table for 4 rather than 2 separate tables. He didn’t seem to want this. So missed out trying to speak to him and his wife.


 This is big, and telling. They did not want the spouse to meet, as this could lead to the spouses asking questions or making comments that could trip them up if they each told their spouses different stories. The other man (OM) did not want to get to know you, and your wife did not want to get to know the OM's spouse, because knowing the spouses would humanize them, which could lead to guilt if the relationship has crossed lines or is heading there. This may also lead to spouses asking to join again, when that could hurt where their one on one relationship is heading. Additionally, you are the OM's enemy in competition for your wife's attention; you wanted to have tea with your wife, but she instead had tea with him. 

Also, what is a date? A date is when a person spends time with a viable potential sexual partner in order to see if the 2 click. Regardless of your wife's initial intent that is what your wife is now doing with the OM. Married people should not date.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Hey @Liverpool6 Just ask one of your female friends to go out for dinner Wednesday. Just say you’re going out with a friend. Then don’t answer your phone.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

In all honesty, straight up ask her if she wants a divorce so she can be with her friend. If she says no then ask why she has a better relationship with him then she does you. Also why this friend doesn’t want a damn thing to do with you. It would be different if he treated you with respect. The problem is that the male friend chits on you when ever you see him and is completely disrespectful. How in the hell can your “loving” wife be friends with someone that treats her husband like he does.

That is unless she agrees completely with how he treats you. She knows fully how he treats you. 

You are being completely **** on by these two people and you’re wondering if you are right to be upset?!?!?!

WTF, what has happened to men now a days. You will never get respect from anyone until you respect yourself enough to not put up with this bull crap.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I can't imagine having regular one on one lunches with someone else's husband.

That's just......trashy.


----------



## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Hi Liverpool from another from Liverpool  you are the 1st on here that I know of from my home town. This bloke doesn't seem trustworthy at all and your wife needs to end this now. Unless she has been sexual with him then dump her right now and get your divorce papers. This should not be difficult to make a decision if she loves her husband. She would stop seeing him and end all contact. If she won't then she obviously has feelings for this c*nt. Good luck.


----------



## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

Ask her how she'd feel if you started going out one on one with a female 'friend'. If she says she wouldn't mind find a female friend and start doing it.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

It is easier to blame the 'other man' for these situations, is it not?

In reality, it is your Missus that is allowing this marital breach to happen.

This bloke would not have a foot in the door, if your wife did not encourage him.

Yes, he is a cad, and an opportunist. 

And, I would imagine he is putting his own marriage at risk.
Have you considered letting the other wife know that he is dating your wife?

The consensus here, on TAM, is that this should happen. 
She needs to know. 
That will allow pressure to be felt from both wayward ends.

I repeat, in your case, your wife is more the blame and has poisoned your marriage.

I hope your talk on Wednesday with your wife is productive.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

So you are so laid back and confident, that you are ok with your wife dating another man... 

WTF? Really? 

SHE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR. Have you checked her phone, have you looked at the records online? 

Nobody is this laid back. 

Don't you think you need to wake up? Nothing about this situation is OK. It was never OK and it never will be OK.


----------



## bygone (11 mo ago)

The man came home to take your wife. Your wife didn't want to sit at the same table with the man's wife.

The man's wife doesn't know your wife and she doesn't know they dates. not telling or introducing his colleague, whom he spends so much time with, to his wife!!

Talking to your wife won't do you any good. your wife is very relaxed she doesn't need to hide her relationship, if your finances are available the private detective will provide you with proof on the day of their appointment, you didn't say how many hours they stayed but don't ignore the hotel option.

Do your research, then I guess you'll want a lawyer.

If you're not thinking about divorce,dont research, it's better not to know.


----------



## truststone (8 mo ago)

All i have to say if my wife continued to do something that was disrespectful to me and knew how it made me feel and didnt stop it on her own accord i would be gone no if, or but im gone - im not her dad to tell her dont do this dont do that like WTF you love me so your heart should direct you what to do and if you love me you should never want to do anything to me that would make me feel like i cant trust you .. I will never tell my wife what to do, i did that with my vows, those are my boundaries and we all know what that means like seriously !!! . 

what i will do if something bothers me : *i'll let her know and see what she does*.. That's why i don't understand men nowadays.. 
1) why should you tell the person you love to stop doing anything , if it upsets me in any way especially if it makes me jealous or feel like you are @Liverpool6 or i cant trust then stop it period !!
2) if you cant stop it and continue then no matter what it is you have choosen to go outside our marriage boundaries and that tells me one thing - get the hell out

before i got married i told my wife your grown, people do what they want regardless of what you tell them there gonna do it anyways because they want to ... i will never tell you what to do but i promise ill always be honest with my feelings and your heart must always direct you what to do...if you break our marriage covenant i promise you one thing im gone thats a promise i have made to myself no matter what !!!

listen emotional affairs always begin because the people involved chose it period. its very easy to stop all that . all of us who have never cheated know that we are all human and we all get tempted but we never violate our vows. we choose our SO first at all costs so its easy to do because we value and love our SO independent of the vows - the vows are just a reinforcement to remind us of our lifelong commitment . its not difficult but if you play with fire dont be surprised if you get burnt!!

So that is why i dont understand why these men have to tell there wives what to do, stop being soo weak and pathetic value yourself and dont compromise and NEVER, NEVER allow a SO to cause you to question and compromise your boundaries & moral compass. And if they do they should know that their choice to do that even on an emotional bases to you means one thing DIVORCE.. now if they love you do you honestly think they would take the chance knowing the consequences - some maybe but i guarantee those that do know one thing my SO will be gone !!!


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

@Liverpool6

Do you have any updates?


----------



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

I'd definitely have them followed...Or you could just show up and sit down and have a cup of tea with them. 

Is the tea location secret ?

I'll bet that would be a lobito buster


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

This is wrong, very wrong and you know as well as I do that this man is not seeing your wife as innocently as she might want to think. Who knows, she actually might see him as more of a friend also. My ex would do this and he called these ladies friends. He would talk to them in their office, all ladies that worked in the same building. He would joke and eat candies from the bowl that sat on their desks, making sure to buy them more to refill the dish....anything to make repeat visits. Then when they got comfortable he would show up at their desk around lunch time and maybe at first it was as a group but eventually it was just the two of them going to lunch. It is not innocent and you are not over thiking this. It needs to stop and she has to understand why. This man is not her friend.


----------



## Kput (3 mo ago)

Forget talking to your w and confront the guy, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that he is close to getting his face rearranged. Your w probably does not respect beta men. If your w objects to bad.


----------

