# On Beating Up The OM (or even the OW)



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of. 

The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.

The second was a rebound betrayal after she was thrown out of the wealthy man's house and came crawling back begging forgiveness. That guy was simply pouncing on a weak woman. When I caught him at my house I lit into him. Not like it appears on TV (a lot of missed or blocked punches and pushing really), but I knocked him down good with a punch (I used to box) and wrestled/threw him out of the house. 

The third was with some POS and she was taking off her wedding ring and told him she wasn't married. I can forgive that as he had no idea of her marriage.

But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She is your ex, right?

Don't beat anyone up so you get thrown in jail for assault/battery.

Just be glad you are out of that relationship.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

She is a serial cheater. The worst thing you can do to om/ow in a case like this is to let them have the serial cheater.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The common denominator is her. I wouldn't punch someone or even make an ugly face at someone over such a worthless bat. I'm all about protecting a woman's honor, but this one has very little to defend.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

With the 2nd one, he was in your house. That's a lot easier to justify to the cops/courts. Him coming to your home is an huge assault on you.

The problem with beat downs is that it can get the BS in a huge amount of legal trouble, even time in prison.

An OM/OW is not worth that. The best way to handle them is to just treat them like they do not exist.

Your beef is with your wife, the one who promised you fidelity.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.


Would you beat your X?

If not, you should not desire to beat down the OM. Anger at them is completely justified, even revenge in some way.

But your X is the POS that DIRECTLY screwed you over, and with multiple men. SHE is the one that deserves the hella wrath of what she did to you more so than these OM. Not saying you should beat her, I absolutely am against that.

Just making the point, you shouldn't want to hand a more severe punishment to these OM as opposed to your wife at the time.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Frankly the only person you really should be angry at is yourself...for taking her back in the first place.....how many times do you need to learn your lesson before you realize she will never ever change.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

It was that second POS. Coming to my house to do nothing more than take advantage of my wayward wife. Sort of like defending home field.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

workindad said:


> She is a serial cheater. The worst thing you can do to om/ow in a case like this is to let them have the serial cheater.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly! Because my x-wife is with the OM and he controls her every move....why? Because she cheated before.....on me with him :rofl:

How stupid can some people be?


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

There is lots of unsolved crimes ,I guess someone could wait and waylay the guy when he leaves a bar,take his wallet and make it look like a ordinary street crime.just don't use the credit cards.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> With the 2nd one, he was in your house. That's a lot easier to justify to the cops/courts. Him coming to your home is an huge assault on you.
> 
> The problem with beat downs is that it can get the BS in a huge amount of legal trouble, even time in prison.
> 
> ...


Fortunately we were living in a small East Oregon town where vigilante justice is not frowned upon. I may have spent a day in jail, but unless I really hurt him charges would have never been brought.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Morally i don't see an issue with a beat down. You are protecting your relationship and family. In many cases these sleazy man-children only understand violence...words often fall on deaf ears unless you show them you mean business. Gov'ts have seriously dropped the ball on passing appropriate laws to protect familiies from interlopers like this... Either the gov't protects our families or we have to do it ourselves.

BUT.. legally there are a lot of risks there you may want to not gamble with...


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

101Abn said:


> There is lots of unsolved crimes ,I guess someone could wait and waylay the guy when he leaves a bar,take his wallet and make it look like a ordinary street crime.just don't use the credit cards.


Watch the film _Strangers on a Trai_n... lol

Swap OM's guys, and let the beatings begin! lol


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Xenote said:


> Frankly the only person you really should be angry at is yourself...for taking her back in the first place.....how many times do you need to learn your lesson before you realize she will never ever change.


This is so true, but at the same time, people here need to realize that in cases of serial cheaters, just because there were multiple partners involved, it isn't always a given that the BS knew about all of them at the time they took the WS back. Sometimes the WS has hidden the information so deep that it doesn't come out until the breaking point has been reached and the betrayal occurs again and then the whole truth comes out.

It could be the case, but isn't always true, that when it is mentioned that the WS came crawling back after being dumped by OM#1, it doesn't mean that the BS knew about OM#1.

My WW is a serial cheater and she had several before I discovered. People would point the finger and say that I was the idiot for taking her back, but I really never took her back after the last one and the betrayal hurt so bad that this is when I discovered the others. When confronted she stated that she wasn't going to tell me about them and that was the nail in the coffin. She was going to live her life taking it to her grave the heinous things she had done to my family, myself, and our lifestyle and relationship.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Allen_A said:


> Morally i don't see an issue with a beat down. You are protecting your relationship and family. In many cases these sleazy man-children only understand violence...words often fall on deaf ears unless you show them you mean business.
> 
> BUT.. legally there are a lot of risks there you may want to not gamble with...


:iagree: this


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Catching him in your house - absolutely - fair game.

Otherwise? Meh. Neither the posom or my stbxww were worth it. My kids? I'd kill and die for. My ex? I wouldn't piss on her if she were on fire, and I certainly wouldn't risk bruising my knuckles for her sake.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.
> 
> The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.
> 
> ...


 So all you did was fight for what. Her honor? She had none. She gave that up the first time she went off with Daddy Warbucks. Then two more times she did the same thing so what was there to fight for. 

She lost her honor the minuet she took her clothes off and jumped in bed with him.

The only thing you should have been punching was the parking lot ticket when you got a lawyer and go rid of her.

Someone that cheats on you three times IMO isn't worth saving or fighting for.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

6301 said:


> So all you did was fight for what. Her honor? She had none. She gave that up the first time she went off with Daddy Warbucks. Then two more times she did the same thing so what was there to fight for.
> 
> She lost her honor the minuet she took her clothes off and jumped in bed with him.
> 
> ...


Sometimes it's done so people know they won't cheat with your woman without a consequence. So future potential affair partners in a new situation might not even try, because they know you'll do something about it.


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## StuckInAL (May 8, 2014)

treyvion said:


> Sometimes it's done so people know they won't cheat with your woman without a consequence. So future potential affair partners in a new situation might not even try, because they know you'll do something about it.


i'd say it's probably a bait cathartic...you participated in destorying my marriage; let me destroy your face?


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.
> 
> ......
> 
> But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.


thatbpguy, I can tell you're really struggling with your situation, and I'm sorry for your pain.

I hope you can get to being indifferent to the person who subjected you to the serial infidelity you have experienced.

Yesterday, you opined that 99% of "betrayers" will always be "betrayers" forever and ever more (they only have to think of betrayal to continue to qualify).

Today, beating up the OM is acceptable.

Perhaps trying to understand the parts of you that allowed your ex got to betray you the second and third time would be more beneficial to you.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

StuckInAL said:


> i'd say it's probably a bait cathartic...you participated in destorying my marriage; let me destroy your face?


It's done so that you new that you where hurting me thought I would be chump enough not to do anything about it, I will do something about it, and you can take the ho anyway.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

6301 said:


> So all you did was fight for what. Her honor? She had none. She gave that up the first time she went off with Daddy Warbucks. Then two more times she did the same thing so what was there to fight for.
> 
> She lost her honor the minuet she took her clothes off and jumped in bed with him.
> 
> ...


I did so because he came to my house to have sex with my wife and he was preying on her weakness at the time.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

NotLikeYou said:


> thatbpguy, I can tell you're really struggling with your situation, and I'm sorry for your pain.
> 
> I hope you can get to being indifferent to the person who subjected you to the serial infidelity you have experienced.
> 
> ...


Well, this all happened over 10 years ago. And since then I have worked with homless and incarcerrated people (mostly vets). I have talked, in depth, to many of them and gotten a good look at the human condition. Many were open books to me.

It taught me that, essentially, we are who we are. We really cannot "change". We can strive to refrain or to do better, but not to change. And it is also a truth that it is far easier to betray (or offend) the second time and far easier the third...

It may be a true subtlety, but there is a difference.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

treyvion said:


> So future potential affair partners in a new situation might not even try, because they know you'll do something about it.


Even if that worked 100% of the time, if her desire is to lay down with other guys, what have you accomplished. You can't beat up the OM bad enough to turn your old lady into a loyal, trustworthy wife. If the argument is "defending her honor" give me a break.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Even if that worked 100% of the time, if her desire is to lay down with other guys, what have you accomplished. You can't beat up the OM bad enough to turn your old lady into a loyal, trustworthy wife. If the argument is "defending her honor" give me a break.


Actions have consequences. Some say a consequence is to let the losers have each other and I do not disagree with that. 

But there are times....

My best friend's sister's was married. Her best friend had a betrayal with her husband. When the wayward best friend came to apologize, his sister punched her in the nose and threw a glass of wine on her. 

I approve.

Consequences...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> I did so because he came to my house to have sex with my wife and he was preying on her weakness at the time.


Weakness for some side c0ck?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Weakness for some side c0ck?


Yes, I suppose.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ThePheonix said:


> Even if that worked 100% of the time, if her desire is to lay down with other guys, what have you accomplished. You can't beat up the OM bad enough to turn your old lady into a loyal, trustworthy wife. If the argument is "defending her honor" give me a break.


The hell raiser gf and wife's that constantly cheat on a violent half way crazy bf or husband get a rise out of the antics. It's all part of the show and makes her feel even more wanted. Eventually you will put yourself in jail or a grave for such a demon.


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

NotLikeYou said:


> Today, beating up the OM is acceptable.
> 
> Perhaps trying to understand the parts of you that allowed your ex got to betray you the second and third time would be more beneficial to you.


You would hope so, wouldn't you?

I get the anger. Somebody you trusted and who you were deeply bonded to betrayed you. Anger is understandable, and it can even be righteous and useful if you take a minute to understand why you are angry and then do what is appropriate.

Blaming the OM or OW and directing all of your anger at them (not that they are blameless) is just a way of not dealing with the bigger problem, IMO: you trusted somebody to have your back, and they planted a knife in it instead, and apparently you kept handing them more knives and expecting them to have your back.

That's on them. They screwed up, and they don't deserve to be trusted like that anymore. They're a proven bad risk. It's not safe to be that vulnerable with them. I don't see how you are supposed to channel the anger appropriately if you keep misdirecting it and don't acknowlege what caused your trauma (which is what you are angry about when you are betrayed).

And going through this 3 times? Probably a good deal of anger with #2 and #3 were directed at yourself for the very good reason that you allowed this to continue; you kept trying to trust somebody and kept making yourself vulnerable, and they were more than happy to abuse that trust again.

Anger can be useful. It's there for a reason. The trick is figuring out why you are really angry, though.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

6301 said:


> So all you did was fight for what. Her honor? She had none. She gave that up the first time she went off with Daddy Warbucks. Then two more times she did the same thing so what was there to fight for.


Is not about her honor, is about respect, a man that enter your house to bang you partner is getting his thrill by owning everything that belongs to the man of the house (in a sense), is getting his high and his Ego boost by taking from another what is precious to him, by humiliating him (I remember a case where a WW was talking about his OM wanting to bang her in her house in the basament while her husband and two sons were upstair, at least she said not to that) his woman may be a serial cheater, and everything may be consensual but still, but still there is a factor of disrespect and wronging that the OM commits towards the BS.

*Are we really going to pretend that we don't understand this?*, practically in every country of the world if you catch the OM banging your partner in your house you can kill him and get away with it (in some countries would not even have trials about it and in the ones that trials would be performed you can plead temporary insanity, self defense or whatever and get away with it).


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

It all depends on the situation. Are you a man? Did the OM pursue and chase after your wife?

In those situations, regardless of the wife's role, I feel that putting a beating on the OM is entirely proper. For crying out loud, I know, and other men all know and understand that you are to keep your hands off another man's wife. Failing to do so can get you beat up or worse.

That's that way it is. Failing to hold the OM accountable is dropping the ball.

I've contacted, shamed and tried to confront OM in person to get him to walk out and face me like a man. He won't. Still, I feel like I've failed the mission. At least I've tried, and in a legal and honorable way.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Forest said:


> It all depends on the situation. Are you a man? Did the OM pursue and chase after your wife?
> 
> In those situations, regardless of the wife's role, I feel that putting a beating on the OM is entirely proper. For crying out loud, I know, and other men all know and understand that you are to keep your hands off another man's wife. Failing to do so can get you beat up or worse.
> 
> ...


And I agree. 

If my wife were pursuing another man, so be it. If they are seeking out each other, so be it. But if he is oursuing her or they are meeting in my house, game on.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Let me add that if if happens the OM is a some monster that is just impossibly bigger, younger, whatever--nah, forget it. Everything is relative.

No reason to expect an average guy to go after some NFL linebacker.

I just hate to live in a situation like this without some kind of physical consequences. Its eats at me every day, all day. I know I shouldn't let it, but this is not something I brought on myself. 

One of these days, things will fall into place.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

davesmith said:


> bad idea.
> the cheating partner is the problem. not the OM/OW.


They are both a problem.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> I did so because he came to my house to have sex with my wife and he was preying on her weakness at the time.


Don't make excuses for her. She chose to have sex with these men. A POS the OM is, without a doubt, but your wife was a willing participant and is the one directly responsible for her fidelity, or lack of it, to you.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Actions have consequences. Some say a consequence is to let the losers have each other and I do not disagree with that.
> 
> But there are times....
> 
> My best friend's sister's was married. Her best friend had a betrayal with her husband. When the wayward best friend came to apologize, his sister punched her in the nose and threw a glass of wine on her.


There is a case of the so-called "best friend" coming to HER. Your BFs sister didn't go looking for the OW.

And did she also punch her H? Because again, its her husband that she needs to be more angry with.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

NotLikeYou said:


> Today, beating up the OM is acceptable.


Then what is the equivalent consequence for the wife that cheated on him?


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> And I agree.
> 
> If my wife were pursuing another man, so be it. If they are seeking out each other, so be it. But if he is oursuing her or they are meeting in my house, *game on*.


For your wife too?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

vellocet said:


> For your wife too?


One of my favorite "cheated on" stories is an old college friend of mines.

His first love end up cheating on him. This was a lady at the young age of 18, he had in a descent living condition for the age, was taking care of his responsibilities as a man.

He came home from work earlier than to be expected, and he swore he heard a creaking sound. He moved closer to the door of the bedroom and it was unmistaken squeeking of a mattress in which physical conjucation was occurring. 

He popped into the room and found his gf sleeping with someone he knew.

He beat both their a$$e$.

I heard this story before I knew how bad it felt to be cheated on, and even then at the time I didn't think it was an over use of force.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

vellocet said:


> For your wife too?


You keep asking the same question over and over. Give it a rest. Its ok if every person here doesn't agree with you.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

vellocet said:


> Then what is the equivalent consequence for the wife that cheated on him?


Well what would you do to a male friend who betrayed you very badly, ending in a terrible humiliation, costing you a bunch of time and money that takes years to recover from? Would you want him back as your best buddy?


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> You keep asking the same question over and over. Give it a rest. Its ok if every person here doesn't agree with you.


Nobody is answering the question, and its because they are scared to answer it.

I keep asking because those I'm asking are dancing around the question in the form of trying to ignore it so they don't have to answer it. So no, I'll keep asking if I like


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

BPGuy your wife is a serial cheat who is going to keep on cheating. No amount of alpha male behavior will stop her. She's a different animal from the more common one-time cheat who lost desire and respect for their spouse, had an affair, then regretted it. Your wife has a void inside her that cannot be filled. She's a scorpion... Cheating is her nature. 

Quit courting the idea of payback and start courting the idea of booting this skank to the curb and moving on to a better life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> BPGuy your wife is a serial cheat who is going to keep on cheating. No amount of alpha male behavior will stop her. She's a different animal from the more common one-time cheat who lost desire and respect for their spouse, had an affair, then regretted it. Your wife has a void inside her that cannot be filled. She's a scorpion... Cheating is he nature.
> 
> Quit courting the idea of payback and start courting the idea of booting this skank to the curb and moving on to a better life.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A real ho! You might win a few of your fights and she might find it admireable, but she will find some monkey shines for you to get yourself into, that you will be embarrassed or hurt and it would be all part of her fun.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Well what would you do to a male friend who betrayed you very badly, ending in a terrible humiliation, costing you a bunch of time and money that takes years to recover from? Would you want him back as your best buddy?


That's not what I asked. The question is, if you want to beat up the OM, then since the wife needs to bear to brundt of a husband's anger, what is HER consequence? And HER consequence should be greater without resorting to violence. And resorting to violence against anyone should not be condoned

But to answer your question, absolutely not. And if I felt compelled to beat the crap out of him, then I'd have to want to bring down a harsher punishment to any gf/wife that slept with him.

Therefore I wouldn't hand a beat down to him. He'd just need to piss off and never contact me again.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

treyvion said:


> He beat both their a$$e$.
> 
> I heard this story before I knew how bad it felt to be cheated on, and even then at the time I didn't think it was an over use of force.


I think the police would disagree.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I think this is very situation- and personality-driven. For instance, old mittens beat the h3ll out of his bf OM (broke some bones, I believe) & bff never touched, or even really considered touching, his bf OM. 

I admire both of those men. Both faced deep betrayals and each did what he thought he needed to do.

Clearly, there are real legal/moral pitfalls to beating up the OM, but we can at least viscerally understand it, in my opinion.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Don't get me wrong: I'm not against sanding the pavement with the OM/OW's face. Just don't expect the WS to come running to rub your biceps and beg forgiveness. It just doesn't work that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

vellocet said:


> That's not what I asked. The question is, if you want to beat up the OM, then since the wife needs to bear to brundt of a husband's anger, what is HER consequence? And HER consequence should be greater without resorting to violence. And resorting to violence against anyone should not be condoned
> 
> But to answer your question, absolutely not. And if I felt compelled to beat the crap out of him, then I'd have to want to bring down a harsher punishment to any gf/wife that slept with him.
> 
> Therefore I wouldn't hand a beat down to him. He'd just need to piss off and never contact me again.


Understood. The wife literally handed the OM the keys to the kingdom, so she should have a harsh and just circumstance.

It's easiest to completely withdraw financial, and emotional support.

You get on with your life. There can be non-violent but painful retributions to both the OM and the wife. To the OM, so that other peope who hear about it know you just don't "take it", that something will happen.

An OM that you have pained non-violently may choose to become physically violent to you and you need to be ready for this.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sometime you have to kick someone a$$ because they need an a$$ kicking and worring about getting arrested or face a law suit is secondard to your overall wellness.

in the case of catching your spouce in your bed with someone else would qualify at least for me.


JMHO


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Nobody is answering the question, and its because they are scared to answer it.
> 
> I keep asking because those I'm asking are dancing around the question in the form of trying to ignore it so they don't have to answer it. So no, I'll keep asking if I like


As a man, I would not think of hitting my wife or any woman. For me, its such a ludicrous notion, I'm can't imagine even discussing it.

I'm sure a woman wouldn't think of trying to even a score with a man by commenting on his shoes, or butt.

You humiliate another man by physically dominating him. You humiliate a woman by rejecting her, or her character.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

vellocet said:


> I think the police would disagree.


Depends. Some police would think while it was against the law it was just cause.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Forest said:


> As a man, I would not think of hitting my wife or any woman. For me, its such a ludicrous notion, I'm can't imagine even discussing it.
> 
> I'm sure a woman wouldn't think of trying to even a score with a man by commenting on his shoes, or butt.
> 
> You humiliate another man by physically dominating him. You humiliate a woman by rejecting her, or her character.


If a woman in close quarters pulls a knife or gun on you to kill you, you better do something about it. Imagine if your killers come for you and it was women? You going to p0ssy up in this situation?


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Forest said:


> That's that way it is. Failing to hold the OM accountable is dropping the ball.


Why? If you decide to divorce your cheating wife, what's the point? I mean, if you want to, by all means. But divorcing your wh*re of a wife and removing both of them from your life isn't "dropping the ball". It's resolute and smart.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

vellocet said:


> Then what is the equivalent consequence for the wife that cheated on him?


Vellocet, you ask the perfect question, but only by missing the context in which I placed my statement.

I said "Today, beating up the OM is acceptable" as a means of suggesting that OP might not be on the right track to getting to a good place mentally and emotionally.

Personally, I think that if anyone should get beaten for infidelity, its your partner, not their AP. And I don't think anyone should get beaten up, either way, just that the spouse who vowed fidelity should be first in line.

Had I come out and said "OP, you're stoopid, violent, and getting worse," well, bpguy would have read that, said to himself "eff you very much," maybe typed that exact message out, and that would have been it as far as constructive conversation went.

As it was, he responded with some clarification and details that provide some basis for how he feels.

I 100% disagree with his opinions. But I'm only 50% sure that they are wrong for him, so I try to discuss the matter in a way that will bring out more information. I'm here to gain perspective while hopefully giving perspective in return. I know the feelings of betrayal pretty well myself. I am reading this particular thread to try and understand someone else's feelings as a betrayed spouse. 

That's all.

And now, back to our hot topic of inflicting physical violence as payment for physical contact.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Forest said:


> I'm sure a woman wouldn't think of trying to even a score with a man by commenting on his shoes, or butt.


LOL


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> Don't make excuses for her. She chose to have sex with these men. A POS the OM is, without a doubt, but your wife was a willing participant and is the one directly responsible for her fidelity, or lack of it, to you.


So?

He's in my house with my wife.

Guess what?

He's taking it in the chops from me.

End of *ucking story.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> So?
> 
> He's in my house with my wife.
> 
> ...


Man, that must've been just crazy finding him IN your house. What were the circumstances? Did he freak out? Cry like the b*tch he is? Fight back?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> For your wife too?


That's a darn good question. I have to admit I was totally out of control- something I am never. I did yell at her at the top of my lungs (first and only time I have done that) and threw her out (well, have her 2 days to find a couch to sleep on). 

But I see your point. I was out of control and it could have gotten very very ugly.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

treyvion said:


> If a woman in close quarters pulls a knife or gun on you to kill you, you better do something about it. Imagine if your killers come for you and it was women? You going to p0ssy up in this situation?


Didn't know we were talking about Kill Bill.


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

vellocet said:


> That's not what I asked. The question is, if you want to beat up the OM, then since the wife needs to bear to brundt of a husband's anger, what is HER consequence? And HER consequence should be greater without resorting to violence. And resorting to violence against anyone should not be condoned
> 
> But to answer your question, absolutely not. And if I felt compelled to beat the crap out of him, then I'd have to want to bring down a harsher punishment to any gf/wife that slept with him.
> 
> Therefore I wouldn't hand a beat down to him. He'd just need to piss off and never contact me again.


The thread isn't about how to handle the wayward wife. That is talked about in the majority of the threads here.

Only a scant few years ago,.any man that wasn't ready to fight to defend his honor was rightly considered a coward. Since the pc police took over, men have been consistently sublimated to an unmanly role in society. To the point discussions are ongoing as to why a woman needs a man at all.

Beating a posom doesn't mean there are no cosequenes for a wayward wife, but in a mans world, women aren't beaten. Spouse abuse is not condoned.

As far as consequences go, all you have to do is look at the degenerates that write law and those that practice it.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Forest said:


> Didn't know we were talking about Kill Bill.


Well you could've walked into the wrong neighborhood and buddyed up with some thuggish female crooks. A couple of them got some new guns that they wanted to test out.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> BPGuy your wife is a serial cheat who is going to keep on cheating. No amount of alpha male behavior will stop her. She's a different animal from the more common one-time cheat who lost desire and respect for their spouse, had an affair, then regretted it. Your wife has a void inside her that cannot be filled. She's a scorpion... Cheating is her nature.
> 
> Quit courting the idea of payback and start courting the idea of booting this skank to the curb and moving on to a better life.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh I divorced her after betrayal #3. I tried to recocile twice (yeah, she meant that much to me) but her depression and drinking and the fact men loved her and she them was too much to overcome.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Healer said:


> Why? If you decide to divorce your cheating wife, what's the point? I mean, if you want to, by all means. But divorcing your wh*re of a wife and removing both of them from your life isn't "dropping the ball". It's resolute and smart.



Agreed. I'm operating on the old standby image of the office Casanova. Like I said, its all relative. Still, I think its a good thing to perpetuate the idea that getting handy with another man's wife is inviting a whipping.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> So?
> 
> He's in my house with my wife.
> 
> ...


Yeah good for you. But you're missing the point... 

How did the OM get in your house. Did he break the door down? Climb through a window?

No. 

Your slvt of a wife invited him in. She was raring.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> The thread isn't about how to handle the wayward wife. That is talked about in the majority of the threads here.
> 
> Only a scant few years ago,.any man that wasn't ready to fight to defend his honor was rightly considered a coward. Since the pc police took over, men have been consistently sublimated to an unmanly role in society. To the point discussions are ongoing as to why a woman needs a man at all.
> 
> ...


:iagree:...and the people said: Amen. Rock yourself, son.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Healer said:


> Man, that must've been just crazy finding him IN your house. What were the circumstances? Did he freak out? Cry like the b*tch he is? Fight back?


Here's the short version…

Lived in a small town where most people knew each other. One night 3 of my neighbors asked to speak with me. They told me a particular person (whom I knew a bit) was coming to our house when I was at work. The shades would be drawn… and about 30 minutes later he'd come out and leave. I asked to be called the next time he showed up. So many days later I got a call, drove the 5 minutes home, walked in and they were kissing on the couch. As he started up I met him with a punch and down he went. I thought he'd get up and go, but instead he came at me. We mostly waltzed around trying to punch each other, but I was able to wrestle him to the door, got leverage and threw him down our 3 stairs onto the driveway. He had had enough. I then turned on my wife and just started screaming at her at the top of my lungs. Pretty darn ugly scene. Never saw that POS again.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Forest said:


> Still, I think its a good thing to perpetuate the idea that getting handy with another man's wife is inviting a whipping.


I agree. A whipping or worse. Like I said, I wouldn't risk my freedom to put a hurt on the posom, and I'm divorcing my ww. However, and I've thought about this many times - if I were, for example, driving down the highway and saw him trapped in a burning car that was about to explode and I could save him, I'd slow down, but only to watch the fireworks.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Glad you got rid of her bp. Whatever became of her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Yeah good for you. But you're missing the point...
> 
> How did the OM get in your house. Did he break the door down? Climb through a window?
> 
> ...


So?

Makes no difference to me. It's my house and he's in it. That's all I care about.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Here's the short version…
> 
> Lived in a small town where most people knew each other. One night 3 of my neighbors asked to speak with me. They told me a particular person (whom I knew a bit) was coming to our house when I was at work. The shades would be drawn… and about 30 minutes later he'd come out and leave. I asked to be called the next time he showed up. So many days later I got a call, drove the 5 minutes home, walked in and they were kissing on the couch. As he started up I met him with a punch and down he went. I thought he'd get up and go, but instead he came at me. We mostly waltzed around trying to punch each other, but I was able to wrestle him to the door, got leverage and threw him down our 3 stairs onto the driveway. He had had enough. I then turned on my wife and just started screaming at her at the top of my lungs. Pretty darn ugly scene. Never saw that POS again.


Wow. He came at you. Unreal. You'd have been justified in f*cking him up beyond all recognition, and even if he were killed in the process, you'd have a good chance of getting off. Ever regret not messing him up worse than you did? What an opportunity!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> So?
> 
> Makes no difference to me. It's my house and he's in it. That's all I care about.


No you did the right thing. You should have broken a chair over his back. But your exWW should have been the next one out on the lawn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Glad you got rid of her bp. Whatever became of her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She ended up whoring around, got 100% of my 401K in the divorce (all went to her medical bills for a couple of surgeries) and eventually remarried a guy (he was age 45 and had never been married) in Portland. They have been married for about 10 years and my daughter tells me she's unhappy with him. He does seem like a decent sort.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Healer said:


> Wow. He came at you. Unreal. You'd have been justified in f*cking him up beyond all recognition, and even if he were killed in the process, you'd have a good chance of getting off. Ever regret not messing him up worse than you did? What an opportunity!


He was 4" taller and about 30 pounds heavier than me. But I was about 15 years younger than he was so it was a pretty even match. He was a gool ol' country boy and pretty strong. Also, a living room is a terrible place to try and fight.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> She ended up whoring around, got 100% of my 401K in the divorce (all went to her medical bills for a couple of surgeries) and eventually remarried a guy (he was age 45 and had never been married) in Portland. They have been married for about 10 years and my daughter tells me she's unhappy with him. He does seem like a decent sort.


Cheaters like her are never happy. I feel for him. She's probably doing the same to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Oh I divorced her after betrayal #3. I tried to recocile twice (yeah, she meant that much to me) but her depression and drinking and the fact men loved her and she them was too much to overcome.


She ripped your heart out of your chest and twisted it apart.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> They have been married for about 10 years and my daughter tells me she's unhappy with him. He does seem like a decent sort.


Poor bastard.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Cheaters like her are never happy. I feel for him. She's probably doing the same to him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know. My daughter doesn't think so. I have asked. I know she got a boob job and is still pretty frisky with the guys, so maybe she is...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> She ended up whoring around, got 100% of my 401K in the divorce (all went to her medical bills for a couple of surgeries) and eventually remarried a guy (he was age 45 and had never been married) in Portland. They have been married for about 10 years and my daughter tells me she's unhappy with him. He does seem like a decent sort.


If he's a happy guy, she's probably mad that he's happy. you know the type, can never be happy. And if your happy then they are mad about that too.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Forest said:


> As a man, I would not think of hitting my wife or any woman. *For me, its such a ludicrous notion, I'm can't imagine even discussing it.*


Which is probably why no one bothered to answer the question in the first place.



Forest said:


> I'm sure a woman wouldn't think of trying to even a score with a man by commenting on his shoes, or butt.


LOL



Forest said:


> You humiliate another man by physically dominating him. You humiliate a woman by rejecting her, or her character.


Exactly.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

treyvion said:


> She ripped your heart out of your chest and twisted it apart.


Ya know, she really did. She was drop dead beautiful, fantastic in bed, loved the outdoors and we had some great times together. But I never made enough money for her, basically. She was my real true love. And I mean with all my soul. I actually didn't think I'd survive the first betrayal. I was so totally blindsided when she told me- as she was leaving to move in with her first POS.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Ya know, she really did. She was drop dead beautiful, fantastic in bed, loved the outdoors and we had some great times together. But I never made enough money for her, basically. She was my real true love. And I mean with all my soul. I actually didn't think I'd survive the first betrayal. I was so totally blindsided when she told me- as she was leaving to move in with her first POS.


Have you had any good ones since then?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Did you have make up sex after the fight. Was she into you. Or did you just kick her out?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Have you had any good ones since then?


Yeah, but not like I used to have with her. My marriage now is more of a friendship marriage. I no longer have the capacity to really give my heart to someone.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

LongWalk said:


> Did you have make up sex after the fight. Was she into you. Or did you just kick her out?


No we didn't. She was never "in to me" but she was "in to sex". We married as she was pregnant. I loved her madly and lustfully, but I think she never saw me in that same way. She's not really like that. She was 1/4 Sioux indian with olive skin, jet black hair, fiesty, fun, sexual... as they say, a lot of woman.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

treyvion said:


> you get on with your life. There can be non-violent but painful retributions to both the om and the wife. To the om, so that other peope who hear about it know you just don't "take it", that something will happen.
> 
> An *om that you have pained non-violently may choose to become physically violent *to you and you need to be ready for this.


then its on!!!!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> sometime you have to kick someone a$$ because they need an a$$ kicking and worring about getting arrested or face a law suit is secondard to your overall wellness.
> 
> in the case of catching your spouce in your bed with someone else would qualify at least for me.
> 
> ...


So if someone f***s your gf/wife, then do they both need an a$$ kicking?


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Forest said:


> As a man, I would not think of hitting my wife or any woman. For me, its such a ludicrous notion, I'm can't imagine even discussing it.


I quite agree




> You humiliate another man by physically dominating him. *You humiliate a woman by rejecting her, or her character*.


Really? Looks like the woman gets off easy. Not saying she should get her ass beat, because that is wrong.

But simply rejecting her? That is equivalent to a beat down?

I don't think so. I think an equivalent to a beat down would be to catch her when she is naked, escort her out the front door, then lock it.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Depends. Some police would think while it was against the law it was just cause.


No, they wouldn't. The only way it is just cause is in self defense from a physical attack.

Look, I'm not saying I am not totally adverse to the idea that someone "deserves" a beat down, even though its not condonable.

I'm just against the notion that the OM/OW should get destroyed while the person that cheated on you gets treated with kid gloves, or the consequence for the cheating partner pales in comparison, therefore looking like they are being treated with kid gloves.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Healer said:


> Man, that must've been just crazy finding him IN your house. What were the circumstances? Did he freak out? Cry like the b*tch he is? Fight back?


If I had found a man in my home with my wife, I'd slap a lateral vascular neck restraint on him, take him out the front door nude, lock the door so he couldn't come back in and get his clothes, then go back upstairs, escort my naked wife out the door, and lock it behind her. She isn't going to get off easy if I think the OM deserves major consequences.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Forest said:


> You humiliate another man by physically dominating him. You humiliate a woman by rejecting her, or her character.



This. You (POSOM) humiliate me, I humiliate you. Always. With WW - the are options (R, D). With POSOM - no options, you owe him nothing. 

Beating him up? Is it legal? No. Is it dangerous? Yes , unless you know what are you doing. Is it satisfying? Hell yes, more than anything. Should you leave it at that? No, if you have other ways like exposing him to his employer. 

In other words of you are doing it, this is for yourself, not for your marriage or whatever. 


_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> She ended up whoring around, got 100% of my 401K in the divorce (all went to her medical bills for a couple of surgeries) and eventually remarried a guy (he was age 45 and had never been married) in Portland. They have been married for about 10 years and my daughter tells me she's unhappy with him. He does seem like a decent sort.


This is what I'm talking about. The OM gets a beat down. And I'm not even going to say one way or another whether that was justified. Hell, I'd fantasize about it myself.

But her consequences were, according to you, a yelling and "throwing her out"........along with her getting 100% of your 401K in the divorce.

Seems like her consequences was to endure a little bit of yelling and profit from it. Chap said just because the posom gets a beating doesn't mean there aren't consequences for the wife. Looks like, in this situation, he was wrong.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Yeah, but not like I used to have with her. My marriage now is more of a friendship marriage. *I no longer have the capacity to really give my heart to someone*.


That, my friend, is where I'm right there with you. Can't blame you a bit.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> That, my friend, is where I'm right there with you. Can't blame you a bit.


I know. It sucks being a betrayed sometimes.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Healer said:


> I agree. A whipping or worse. Like I said, I wouldn't risk my freedom to put a hurt on the posom, and I'm divorcing my ww. However, and I've thought about this many times - if I were, for example, driving down the highway and saw him trapped in a burning car that was about to explode and I could save him, I'd slow down, but only to watch the fireworks.


My little mind game is that I have a button on the table next to my regular chair. The button drops POSOM into a volcano, alligator pit, vat of tar, nest of vipers, Iraqi courtroom, whatever soothes my mood. I could use the button as a coaster for a beer can. (You can decide what you want to button to do in your case.)


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy

on an unrelated note, I have to ask, how is it she got 100% of your 401K?? Did you get something like the house and you owed her equity so it was a trade off?

If not, WTF???


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Forest said:


> My little mind game is that I have a button on the table next to my regular chair. The button drops POSOM into a volcano, alligator pit, vat of tar, nest of vipers, Iraqi courtroom, whatever soothes my mood. I could use the button as a coaster for a beer can. (You can decide what you want to button to do in your case.)


So I take it an Iraqi courtroom is equivalent penalty as the others that you described.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> thatbpguy
> 
> on an unrelated note, I have to ask, how is it she got 100% of your 401K?? Did you get something like the house and you owed her equity so it was a trade off?
> 
> If not, WTF???


In Oregon if the marriage is 20 years old or more the judge has added latitude with respect to dividing property. She filed a few days past our 20th after a 2 year separation. During that time she worked but didn't have insurance and had a couple of costly surgeries due to some infection from something I don’t recall. All told her bills were near $200K. She petitioned the court for all my 401K (after taxes about that amount would remain) and was granted that amount. As at that time I made twice what she did I was awarded our $15K in debt. She got the 3-year old car (paid for) and I got the 20-year old car. She got 100% of our savings (not much by then), we split the $5K we made on selling the house and I was ordered to pay $250/mo for 2 years. She also ended up with about 80% of our real property. It was quite the screw job by the judge. I was also ordered to pay her attorney but my daughter told her if she didn't pay, they would never see each other again and so she ponied up.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

treyvion said:


> So I take it an Iraqi courtroom is equivalent penalty as the others that you described.



Not necessarily, but its the possibilities and unknown that intrigue me.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Forest said:


> Not necessarily, but its the possibilities and unknown that intrigue me.


Right.

1. Hung
2. Public stoning
3. Hand chopped off
4. Public caning
5. genitals removed

Like that, huh? Boy. People who do crime there must have big watermelon sized balls, or be part of the law themselves.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Right.
> 
> 1. Hung
> 2. Public stoning
> ...


I vividly remember thinking (right after my last Dday) that Sharia Law seemed like a pretty good idea.

It's crazy what goes through the mind of a BS during that time.

It's also quite scary.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

I am sure a lot of people think about and maybe even make a plan. Buts ome may wonder if it is worth it after wearing finger splints for several weeks and wondering if he is going to press charges. I think any guy messing with a married woman should worry about the day he will get a good ol azz kicking.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> I know. It sucks being a betrayed sometimes.


Actually, ALL the time :-( 

And just to add my 2 cents, the POSOM azz-beating that constantly runs through my head for "someday" (once my child is old enough to do without me for a while) has nothing to do with defending my STBXWS honor, and everything to do with defending my own.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Sometimes it's done so people know they won't cheat with your woman without a consequence. So future potential affair partners in a new situation might not even try, because they know you'll do something about it.


 OK, but in order for the guy to be in a affair he has to have a partner which was your wife. 

Look. This guy isn't getting to first base with her unless she wants him to let alone a round trip. 

He took what she gave him so you kick the snot out of him, what about the other half of the affair? Your kicking his ass for screwing your wife WHO LET HIM SCREW HER, so what about her? 

Your best bet was to give her the bums rush out of the house and told her to go live with him.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My hand hurts just thinking about all of this.LOL


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> I did so because he came to my house to have sex with my wife and he was preying on her weakness at the time.



You don't need to explain....a beat down is right in almost every situation as far as I'm concerned. The way I see it, if more men did this there would be less men willing to bed a married woman.
Don't bother trying to convince me I'm wrong. I've learned that I need to sleep and the only way to do that is to be able to look at myself in the mirror.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Wouldn't it be great if there was's a law that allowed violence towards the AP's
If I was a lawmaker I'd try to pass one....but wait that means If I was to phuck married chicks and I was a lawmaker then I would get the sh! t kicked out of me.....never mind.

There is probably to many law makes that screw around with married chicks....it would never pass.:rofl:

I make my self laugh!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The AP didn't take any vows to be faithful to you. If there has been a crime against you, the AP didn't commit it, your partner did. If it wasn't one AP, it would have been another or others.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Still...its a good reason to get in to a fight!

That's the old me talking.

The good guys don't screw other guys old lady...if the POS knows some chicks married and bangs her any way, the POS diserves an @ss woopin! Call it good versus evil.



But thats just me!


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## beautiful_day (Mar 28, 2013)

I'm a gentle, kind hearted kinda gal, but if I'd ever caught the other woman in my house, there'd have been some _serious _slapping and hair pulling, let me tell you! Take that piece of garbage husband of mine ... you're welcome ... but you'd better not have _ever _disrespected my home.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

The loser of the fight is usually the one to call the police or run to the police.

I had a guy ask me what would happen if his sister gave his WW the beat down, and I told him that would still be assault. This happens more often than people realize.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> In Oregon if the marriage is 20 years old or more the judge has added latitude with respect to dividing property. She filed a few days past our 20th after a 2 year separation. During that time she worked but didn't have insurance and had a couple of costly surgeries due to some infection from something I don’t recall. All told her bills were near $200K. She petitioned the court for all my 401K (after taxes about that amount would remain) and was granted that amount. As at that time I made twice what she did I was awarded our $15K in debt. She got the 3-year old car (paid for) and I got the 20-year old car. She got 100% of our savings (not much by then), we split the $5K we made on selling the house and I was ordered to pay $250/mo for 2 years. She also ended up with about 80% of our real property. It was quite the screw job by the judge. I was also ordered to pay her attorney but my daughter told her if she didn't pay, they would never see each other again and so she ponied up.


This sh*t is just f*cking terrible. I swear to God... I'd never marry again w/o a very secure pre-nup in place.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

101Abn said:


> There is lots of unsolved crimes ,I guess someone could wait and waylay the guy when he leaves a bar,take his wallet and make it look like a ordinary street crime.just don't use the credit cards.


Rent a car, drive over him .


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Maybe I'm too zen or practical but I seriously don't see the point of physically attacking the person your partner cheated on you with. 

First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Maybe I'm too zen or practical but I seriously don't see the point of physically attacking the person your partner cheated on you with.
> 
> First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you.


If you could get away with it??


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> The AP didn't take any vows to be faithful to you. If there has been a crime against you, the AP didn't commit it, your partner did. If it wasn't one AP, it would have been another or others.


SO if the AP was a best friends that vowed their same faithfulness to you and your friendship, would this change things??

So true it "might" (there is no definite "would" in any case unless the WS was a total sex fiend) be someone else, but that doesn't excuse the fact that the crime was committed by both. It takes two to commit adultery and they are both equally guilty of that crime. It is like saying that since your WS decided to drive the car and rob the bank, the other person who assisted in the robbery is not guilty as they were just a participant and if not them then it would be someone else. I don't think so, they are just as guilty of the crime which is adultery. They might not have committed a betrayal, but it still doesn't exonerate them of the other crimes they committed.


----------



## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Then there is the passive aggressive approach.
So many things can be done to OM/OW or WS that would not involve physical violence but can really mess with there head, and most of it would be legal....well some of it would be legal


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> M
> First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you.


I disagree. If someone murdered a loved one, or raped them (both offenses that cause as much pain as a betrayal), I would want my pound of flesh just as much as I would want in a betrayal.

You would think so also, but you are mixed in emotions toward the WS as this is someone that you loved and cared for over many years, whereas the AP usually has no connections to the BS to have a canceling effect for the hurt, so it results in nothing but anger towards them. Also we, as men, a re generally brought up to never hit a woman, so it is against everything that we believe to strike them.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

WhiteRaven said:


> If you could get away with it??


Still wouldn't. Because I do not believe anyone in this life is worth me possibly going to jail over. Or expending that kind of energy on.

I am not into violence.

To me, if you want to cheat, that's your bag. Whether I beat someone up or not (which I wouldn't) is not going to change the fact someone cheated on me. 

Plus, I sincerely believe it's a waste of time and it's trashy. 



Squeakr said:


> I disagree. If someone murdered a loved one, or raped them (both offenses that cause as much pain as a betrayal), I would want my pound of flesh just as much as I would want in a betrayal.


That is good for you then. I personally would not compare an affair to homicide/murder or the raping of a woman.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> That is good for you then. I personally would not compare an affair to homicide/murder or the raping of a woman.


I was not comparing an A to them, I was just stating that they cause as much pain. I chose these as you stated there was nobody that you felt was worth getting into a physical altercation over. I feel that these types of things are definitely worth getting involved with someone over. 

I am glad that you are non-violent and wish I could share your viewpoints, but having been brought up and having military background it is hard not to be violently slanted as it is a very big part of the environment, demeanor, and attitude.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Still wouldn't. Because I do not believe anyone in this life is worth me possibly going to jail over. Or expending that kind of energy on.


I seriously doubt you'd get any jail time if you have no priors and no serious physical injuries. And here, serious physical injury is defined as the victim will die if not given immediate medical attention. People get arrested for worse crimes and get off with a slap on the wrist or their case dismissed. Community service/probation, or a small fine at most. The courts have bigger fish to fry.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I seriously doubt you'd get any jail time if you have no priors and no serious physical injuries.


Even if I wasn't due to get any jail time for it, it's not my style. I simply don't see the point of assaulting someone because my partner chose to cheat with them.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Yeah, but not like I used to have with her. My marriage now is more of a friendship marriage. I no longer have the capacity to really give my heart to someone.


We can thank our wh*ring ex wives for that. I can't fathom ever giving myself to anyone like that ever again. Tragic.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

I'd be quite happy with Me vs OM, 10oz gloves, over 12 rounds, 20'x20' ring.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

davecarter said:


> I'd be quite happy with Me vs OM, 10oz gloves, over 12 rounds, 20'x20' ring.


It's about self respect. That's why it's done. Also a betraying friend better have a very good reason in order to stick around.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

treyvion said:


> It's about self respect. That's why it's done. Also a betraying friend better have a very good reason in order to stick around.


You know when it happened to me, I imagined doing all kind of things to the OM. The punishment which fit in my opinion was breaking their arm with a sledge hammer. What you should do in real life is drop her and get along with your life.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

This thread reminds me of an old saying:

_For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those that don't, none will suffice._


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

treyvion said:


> It's about self respect. That's why it's done. Also a betraying friend better have a very good reason in order to stick around.


It'd be legal though.
Of course, he'd have an equal chance to defend himself and hit me...


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> In Oregon if the marriage is 20 years old or more the judge has added latitude with respect to dividing property. She filed a few days past our 20th after a 2 year separation. During that time she worked but didn't have insurance and had a couple of costly surgeries due to some infection from something I don’t recall. All told her bills were near $200K. She petitioned the court for all my 401K (after taxes about that amount would remain) and was granted that amount. As at that time I made twice what she did I was awarded our $15K in debt. She got the 3-year old car (paid for) and I got the 20-year old car. She got 100% of our savings (not much by then), we split the $5K we made on selling the house and I was ordered to pay $250/mo for 2 years. She also ended up with about 80% of our real property. It was quite the screw job by the judge. I was also ordered to pay her attorney but my daughter told her if she didn't pay, they would never see each other again and so she ponied up.


F**K THAT!!! I would advise any man living in Oregon to never get married. That's a load of crap.

The judge screwed you. I'd be inclined to go to work in the next elections and help his opponent, tell your story and let them use it against him.

That's great about your daughter standing up for you like that. I'm surprised your huss of an unscrupulous x-wife gave a crap whether her daughter talked to her again or not if it saved her money.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> F**K THAT!!! I would advise any man living in Oregon to never get married. That's a load of crap.
> 
> The judge screwed you. I'd be inclined to go to work in the next elections and help his opponent, tell your story and let them use it against him.
> 
> That's great about your daughter standing up for you like that. I'm surprised your huss of an unscrupulous x-wife gave a crap whether her daughter talked to her again or not if it saved her money.


I could have fought it, but my attorney told me it would cost upwards to $20K. Too steep. So, I will have a meager retirement and work until I'm 70. All for a woman who hadn't the ability to keep her *unt in her panties.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Maybe I'm too zen or practical but I seriously don't see the point of physically attacking the person your partner cheated on you with.
> 
> First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, *you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you*.


Apparently not.

But that's the way I see it. Was I angry at the OM with my x-wife? Absolutely. Its justified, nobody is saying it isn't.

Hell even revenge against the OM somehow is understandable.

But the consequences for OM wouldn't be more severe than the consequences for my x-wife. If I'd have beaten the dog snot out of the OM, its hard to find something equivalent or more severe for her consequence since I'm not going to hit a woman.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

vellocet said:


> Apparently not.
> 
> But that's the way I see it. Was I angry at the OM with my x-wife? Absolutely. Its justified, nobody is saying it isn't.
> 
> ...


Get another woman to do it. She might not need to be hit.

Cutting off financial support and ignoring her are usually good enough.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah, so she could potentially end up in jail for your anger... as a fall guy for you.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> I could have fought it, but my attorney told me it would cost upwards to $20K. Too steep. So, I will have a meager retirement and work until I'm 70. All for a woman who hadn't the ability to keep her *unt in her panties.


Wow, just wow. Sorry you have to live in Oregon. At least your daughter isn't fooled and stood up for you.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Get another woman to do it. She might not need to be hit.


Oh she better watch her P's and Q's, because her current man's x-wife is a psycho and would gladly beat her down if she looked cross eyed at her. And yes, when she found out my wife and her husband were screwing around, she beat the ever lovin' dogs*t out of him.



> Cutting off financial support and ignoring her are usually good enough.


Nope, not to me. If I'm going to beat up the OM, I would have needed to find something substantial to do to her. And since I won't hit a woman, I'd have a hard time finding out what that would have been at the time.

Throwing her out in public nude is the only thing I can think of. Maybe drive her to the downtown business district and kick her out of the car naked. But then again, the ho would probably like that.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I'm not exactly into whipping folks a$$es for the commission of infidelity, even with my rich, skanky XW. I would find it in my heart, however, to offer them my sincere, heartfelt condolences though, if they should come to acquire some nasty, itchy, scaly, dripping, rotgut social disease from playing around with her!

I just never have been a real big fan of booking stays at our local "Greybar Hilton" either!*


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> I am not into violence.


Neither am I. I'm all for love. For example, I made love to the OMW. Broke the OM's heart. My bad.:rofl:

Vengeance is my right. I exercised it. End to the story.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Neither am I. I'm all for love. For example, I made love to the OMW. Broke the OM's heart. My bad.:rofl:
> 
> Vengeance is my right. I exercised it. End to the story.


Absolutely it is your right. And your vengeance is one that punishes your wife equally, unless she just didn't give a crap.

Or unless you screwed OM's wife after getting rid of your wife.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

vellocet said:


> Wow, just wow. Sorry you have to live in Oregon. At least your daughter isn't fooled and stood up for you.


She was great. She really held her mom accountable. Their relationship went from being super close to very distant and has remaind so to this day. Recently they went about 14 months with no contact. Not that they were fighting but my daughter just didn't think of contacting her.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

WhiteRaven said:


> Neither am I. I'm all for love. For example, I made love to the OMW. Broke the OM's heart. My bad.:rofl:
> 
> Vengeance is my right. I exercised it. End to the story.


:smthumbup:

Wow, that makes two of you. TheFlood117 also scored with the OMW.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Would you beat your X?
> 
> If not, you should not desire to beat down the OM. Anger at them is completely justified, even revenge in some way.
> 
> ...


Seen many thread variations of this "revenge" notion and all this hatred always placed on the OM/OW. And they should be outed. But it's YOUR spouse who made promises, vows, and commitments to YOU and then betrayed YOU. To the other man or woman you are likely just a name or a picture on the wall when they are screwing them in your house. So yes Blame to the other man or woman but outrage, anger and hate should all fall squarely on the person who married you.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Maybe I'm too zen or practical but I seriously don't see the point of physically attacking the person your partner cheated on you with.
> 
> First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you.


:iagree:

Speaking from more of my professional side this won't end wel Even if you do manage to beat him up, many people think they are tougher than they are, how does that help? Short term may feel better but now you're getting arrested, likely a restraining order so hope you don't like guns, sued in civil court for damages which they will likely win cause you started it. And then the real problems as how this is going to make YOU look in divorce court especially if you are trying to get custody of your kids. The wife says you're violent, you say no I'm not, but here comes that pesky police report......

It's not worth it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Haha. You are so practical, Wolf. I love it.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Squeakr;9041418[B said:


> ]SO if the AP was a best friends that vowed their same faithfulness to you and your friendship, would this change things??[/B]
> 
> So true it "might" (there is no definite "would" in any case unless the WS was a total sex fiend) be someone else, but that doesn't excuse the fact that the crime was committed by both. It takes two to commit adultery and they are both equally guilty of that crime. It is like saying that since your WS decided to drive the car and rob the bank, the other person who assisted in the robbery is not guilty as they were just a participant and if not them then it would be someone else. I don't think so, they are just as guilty of the crime which is adultery. They might not have committed a betrayal, but it still doesn't exonerate them of the other crimes they committed.


Nope

I have had several good friends and two best friends in life and none of them have ever promised before friends, family, and god to love, honor, cherish, and forsake all others before me. Not a single one. 

So if my x had an affair with one of my friends only difference would be that the friendship would be over. But wouldn't change my mind about beating them up or that 90% of the blame falls on my spouse first


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Haha. You are so practical, Wolf. I love it.


Well thank you Ms. Beans


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

WhiteRaven said:


> Neither am I. I'm all for love. For example, I made love to the OMW. Broke the OM's heart. My bad.:rofl:
> 
> Vengeance is my right. I exercised it. End to the story.


Well this is particularly clever if you can make it happen and much better alternative to violence. I applaud you sir


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## Rubicon (Jan 13, 2014)

I'm on the side of a good ass whooping.

First, in Canada, we are not sue happy so you might get a minor assault charge but nothing serious, you would have to have a previous record and nearly kill someone to get any jail time and since I have no record I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

As for her punishment being worse than the OM's, I think that's just dumb. Who cares if she made the vows to be faithful and not him, that matters not at all. If I buy a car it makes no vow to me but if someone tries to steal it I'm going to react. They have no right to it, even if the key worked for them and the car never said "Don't Drive Me" there is an understanding in society that stealing is wrong. Doesn't matter if it's physical property or a spouse, stealing is stealing and if your caught red handed you better expect to take what's handed to you. Should a pedophile get credit because a child willingly accepted their candy?

You can bet if I had a cheating wife she would get her due but it does not have to be measured at all against the POSOM.

Also, the worst thing that can happen to a cheater is exposure, I would wager there is a far lower percentage of cheaters who would report an assault that resulted from an affair than any other type of assault. Your chance of getting away with it is pretty great.

In My house??? on top of my wife??? I'm going to save her from the attack in progress. If she claims later that she invited him over and was a willing participant, well, I didn't know that at the time because she would have had to tell me beforehand. You can't blame me for that.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Another point I just have to bring up is that a fight between two men is a nothing deal. Happens everyday of the week. 

Unless:
1. there is a non-biased witness that is willing to testify in court; or
2. the fight rises to the level of a felony (usually gross bodily harm, or a weapon used)-- not much chance of any charge being filed. Mutual combat.

On the other hand. Who really cares? If POSOM deserves it, he deserves it.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Forest said:


> Another point I just have to bring up is that a fight between two men is a nothing deal. Happens everyday of the week.
> 
> Unless:
> 1. there is a non-biased witness that is willing to testify in court; or
> ...


I have a lot of faith in juries. If a man came home to find his wife with a POS, and beat him up, I thinjk they get it and wouldn't rule against. If, however, the POS was severely beaten or had some serious injuries then there may be a problem.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Speaking from more of my professional side this won't end wel Even if you do manage to beat him up, many people think they are tougher than they are, how does that help? Short term may feel better but *now you're getting arrested, likely a restraining order so hope you don't like guns, sued in civil court for damages which they will likely win cause you started it.* And then the real problems as how this is going to make YOU look in divorce court especially if you are trying to get custody of your kids. The wife says you're violent, you say no I'm not, but here comes that pesky police report......
> 
> It's not worth it.


You're right, it's not worth it. _But that's only because the snippet in bold above *IS THE PROBLEM*_.

A betrayed husband SHOULD be able to exact a very real measure of satisfaction from a man who has dared to touch his wife. It should be codified in our laws, and the fact that it isn't should say an awful lot about the people who write our laws.

You f*ck w/ the bull, you get the horns. It's common damn sense. Any man -- whether or not he himself is or has been married -- who lays his hands upon another man's wife should fully expect that he's going to get the unholy blue dogsh*t kicked out of him.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

One factor to consider is how to stop it after it starts. If I wouldn't have hurt my hand I am not sure I could have stopped. I was in a tunnel vision,ears ringing blind rage. I mean I snapped no doubt about it. Before that day the I thought many times of finding him somewhere alone and the two of us have a go at it. Never did it cross my mind to do anything in public with lots of people around. It could have got ugly real quick. You read about it in the paper and wonder why did that guy snap like that.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

X-Betaman said:


> One factor to consider is how to stop it after it starts. If I wouldn't have hurt my hand I am not sure I could have stopped. I was in a tunnel vision,ears ringing blind rage. I mean I snapped no doubt about it. Before that day the I thought many times of finding him somewhere alone and the two of us have a go at it. Never did it cross my mind to do anything in public with lots of people around. It could have got ugly real quick. You read about it in the paper and wonder why did that guy snap like that.


Well, again...



GusPolinski said:


> You f*ck w/ the bull, you get the horns.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

thatbpguy said:


> But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.


In your own house, yes. A big YES. Even legal in many places.

Outside of the home, or at a later date, no. Not worth the trouble it may cause.

My opinion is that karma will get them eventually, and it doesn't have to be at the end of my fist.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Forest said:


> On the other hand. Who really cares? If POSOM deserves it, he deserves it.


And - it just feels so good. Nuff said.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I find the assumption humorous that, "I'm gonna whip the hell out of the man that cheated with my wife". I'll guarantee unless you're something well beyond the average guy, you won't go through too many OM before you get hold of one you can turn loose. The fellow you may be going after to deal him a dose of whoop azz by be a former Golden Gloves champeen who also has a black belt in Taekwondo.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> I find the assumption humorous that, "I'm gonna whip the hell out of the man that cheated with my wife". I'll guarantee unless you're something well beyond the average guy, you won't go through too many OM before you get hold of one you can turn loose. The fellow you may be going after to deal him a dose of whoop azz by be a former Golden Gloves champeen who also has a black belt in Taekwondo.


Never underestimate the power of a betrayed husband. My last POSOM thought I wouldn't do anything either. He learned otherwise.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> You're right, it's not worth it. _But that's only because the snippet in bold above *IS THE PROBLEM*_.
> 
> A betrayed husband SHOULD be able to exact a very real measure of satisfaction from a man who has dared to touch his wife. It should be codified in our laws, and the fact that it isn't should say an awful lot about the people who write our laws.
> 
> You f*ck w/ the bull, you get the horns. It's common damn sense. Any man -- whether or not he himself is or has been married -- who lays his hands upon another man's wife should fully expect that he's going to get the unholy blue dogsh*t kicked out of him.


Well laws are written by politicians and the people that they represent so they would be to blame for that one. While I won't disagree with them deserving an ass whopping, In some circumstances, when does it become too much? ....so could you kill them? What if you attack them and accidentally kill them what would happen then? You can see where that leads. And then what about the defense part of this. I have been cheated on and was beside myself with grief. Wasn't exactly in my right frame of mind for about a week. Had I been able to attack him with legal impunity I doubt I could have stopped I was so angry. And since I had never met the guy she banged in our bed what if I got it wrong and attacked the wrong guy? Or suppose the other guy had no clue that the woman was married and one day just gets attacked how would that work.

Just seems way to complicated to have an exemption to the law for these circumstances. Course catching them in the act is generally going to be a different scenario and I have seen that play out differently as well


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Would you beat him up if he was 6' 7" tall and built like a tank while you were 5' 8"?

Unless you are prepared to try to give the same treatment to The Hulk as you are to a 7 stone weakling then leave the guy alone physically.

There was at least one poster, can't remember his name, who walked in on OM and WW. I don't think he made any threats but he still woke up in hospital a few hours later.

What if you are a seven stone weakling? Most guys could kick your arse.

Legal avenues work the same for all guys irrespective of body size.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

According to Google, 1 stone equal 14 pounds.

If you say a man is 7 stone; if he is a little bigger, is there a measurement in stones + pebbles? Any other interested units of weight?

"my neighbor is a wee little man, but his wife is 4 boulder."


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> Would you beat him up if he was 6' 7" tall and built like a tank while you were 5' 8"?
> 
> Unless you are prepared to try to give the same treatment to The Hulk as you are to a 7 stone weakling then leave the guy alone physically.
> 
> ...


I'd think that a well-placed pickup truck would work pretty well as an equalizer in such an instance.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> I have a lot of faith in juries. If a man came home to find his wife with a POS, and beat him up, I thinjk they get it and wouldn't rule against. If, however, the POS was severely beaten or had some serious injuries then there may be a problem.


Yes, the location is also of primary importance. Should you go to OM's house, things will look tons worse. Whoever "brings the fight" will always invite scrutiny. 

At your own home? Can't ask for a better cover than that.

The knee jerk test for stuff like less would often fall back onto what a "reasonable man" would do.

Absent a third party, it is all a "swearing match". Never incriminate yourself; its a goose-gander situation.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> *I'd think that a well-placed pickup truck would work pretty well as an equalizer in such an instance.
> *
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


*You mean something like a club-cabbed two-ton Dually?*


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Well as far as I can see nobody suggested physical is the ONLY option. It's no rocket science actually If you can't do it - don't do it... Or do it nevertheless if the moral satisfaction outweighs physical pain.

If in doubt don't engage, once engaged don't have doubt. ..






WyshIknew said:


> Would you beat him up if he was 6' 7" tall and built like a tank while you were 5' 8"?
> 
> Unless you are prepared to try to give the same treatment to The Hulk as you are to a 7 stone weakling then leave the guy alone physically.
> 
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Forest said:


> According to Google, 1 stone equal 14 pounds.
> 
> If you say a man is 7 stone; if he is a little bigger, is there a measurement in stones + pebbles? Any other interested units of weight?
> 
> "my neighbor is a wee little man, but his wife is 4 boulder."


Sorry, been caught out by this before. Stones and pounds are a natural way of thinking of weight for me.

Stones, pounds, ounces and drams. Plus we also use hundredweight (112 pounds) for some goods, coal etc.

In America a persons weight is solely in pounds isn't it?

So you could be 12st 7lb. I have to convert pounds into stones and pounds to visualise someone's weight.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Turin74 said:


> Well as far as I can see nobody suggested physical is the ONLY option. It's no rocket science actually If you can't do it - don't do it... Or do it nevertheless if the moral satisfaction outweighs physical pain.
> 
> If in doubt don't engage, once engaged don't have doubt. ..
> 
> ...


But I think only beating up somebody you think you can beat is morally wrong.

Bullies in school would only pick on those weaker than them.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> But I think only beating up somebody you think you can beat is morally wrong.
> 
> Bullies in school would only pick on those weaker than them.


That's really an apple and orange comparison. No way you can compare a school bully picking fights with smaller people to a betrayed man acting on his natural instincts when he finds out his wife has been screwing another man. That's just asinine.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

3putt said:


> That's really an apple and orange comparison. No way you can compare a school bully picking fights with smaller people to a betrayed man acting on his natural instincts when he finds out his wife has been screwing another man. That's just asinine.


Well it is if you would beat up a smaller guy but wouldn't try to beat up a big guy.

So do you think it is morally ok to beat up a smaller OM than you but to leave a big bruiser alone?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

OK, so let's momentarily set aside all of discussions involving the satisfaction of a BH's honor, pride, or whatever by way of physical confrontation w/ OM... Plenty of people are perfectly happy to let the state settle such matters for them, so how about this...

You f*ck another man's wife, you lose a testicle.

I'd be willing to bet a year's salary that having such a punitive measure instituted as law would lead to a whole lot more conversations that start off w/ "You're not married, right?"

Discuss.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *You mean something like a club-cabbed two-ton Dually?*


Hey, whatever. And if you happen to have a brush guard, skid plates, a roll guard, etc installed AND just so happen to shift into 4WD just before impact...

Oh well. Sucks to be OM.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Well it is if you would beat up a smaller guy but wouldn't try to beat up a big guy.
> 
> So do you think it is morally ok to beat up a smaller OM than you but to leave a big bruiser alone?


I think it's morally okay to beat the sh!t out of anyone that's dumb enough to mess with me, my money, or my family.

I've _*never*_ gone looking for a fight, but I've never backed down from one either when provoked. Size isn't part of the equation for me.

I got the crap knocked out of me by a smaller guy once, and took out another that was at least 30 pounds heavier than me. For the record, my POSOM was around the same size as me, perhaps a little bigger. Who cares.

Size isn't the issue. The motive is.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> OK, so let's momentarily set aside all of discussions involving the satisfaction of a BH's honor, pride, or whatever by way of physical confrontation w/ OM... Plenty of people are perfectly happy to let the state settle such matters for them, so how about this...
> 
> You f*ck another man's wife, you lose a testicle.
> 
> ...


"On no, I'm not married" *bats eyelids appealingly*

*crosses fingers*.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Cheating spouses are the villains. They are the ones betraying their spouse. Sure the APs are pieces of crap too but ultimately if a partner cheats then that's on them. That being said, It would be dangerous to be a guy messing with my wife because I might snap (not on purpose). And I'd lose my temper quicker with a macho guy strutting around.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in protecting my marriage. A potential AP trying to hook up might get a threat and then more but once the deed is done, it's on the cheating spouse.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> "On no, I'm not married" *bats eyelids appealingly*
> 
> *crosses fingers*.


LOL. Given the rather steep *peen*-alty (Ha!), I'd think that most guys would settle for nothing less than absolute proof.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

3putt said:


> I think it's morally okay to beat the sh!t out of anyone that's dumb enough to mess with me, my money, or my family.
> 
> I've _*never*_ gone looking for a fight, but I've never backed down from one either when provoked. Size isn't part of the equation for me.
> 
> ...


Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.

Also with the possible exception of doing it in your own home, I don't know the legal aspects, beating up the man who messed with your life and family could mess up your life and family even more. Just ask a poster called Juicer.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> Cheating spouses are the villains. They are the ones betraying their spouse. Sure the APs are pieces of crap too but ultimately if a partner cheats then that's on them. That being said, It would be dangerous to be a guy messing with my wife because I might snap (not on purpose). And I'd lose quick with a macho guy strutting around.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I believe in protecting my marriage. A potential AP trying to hook up might get a threat and then more but once the deed is done, it's on the cheating spouse.


This is a very mature and measured response, but it will do little to sate the burning rage that you'd feel upon learning that another man has been unloading into your wife's birth canal.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> This is a very mature and measured response, but it will do little to sate the burning rage that you'd feel upon learning that another man has been unloading into your wife's birth canal.


Don't get me wrong. I do understand this, and I am a hypocrite as I did physically threaten the guy I suspected of being an OM.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
> You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
> You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.
> 
> Also with the possible exception of doing it in your own home, I don't know the legal aspects, beating up the man who messed with your life and family could mess up your life and family even more. Just ask a poster called Juicer.


Size can be an issue. Rage can be an even bigger one.

Honestly, though, I probably wouldn't be able to continue pummeling a scrawny (or even smaller) guy once he was down. Even when I wasn't what I'd call a "big guy", I was bigger than the other kids, so I had to learn restraint at an early age, even when just playing around

Either way, this approach isn't for everyone. What I'm saying is that it's natural -- and justifiable -- to feel the need to exact a measure of physical vengeance from another man when confronted w/ the knowledge that he's been f*cking your wife. _And that OM should *fully expect* a beatdown._ No one is looking to force the BH and OM into a boxing ring to settle things once everything comes to light.

Well, unless that's what BH wants.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
> You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
> You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.


Not a fair analogy as you are pitting trained professionals against like just of different sizes. When it comes to OMs we are not always equally trained or matched., so it could be more analogous to matching a lightweight mixed martial artist against a mid weight boxer. Unless the boxer lands a square shot, he is generally on the disadvantage here (think about Bruce Lee, he was a little guy, and could damage several men at once that were larger than he was). 

Also the little guy that attacks a bigger guy without preparation is asking for anything he gets in return, and in my home I know where all the equalizers (2x4, planks, hammer handles, and other weapons and make shift weapons are located, which can be a great equalizer against a big guy.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
> You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
> You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.
> 
> Also with the possible exception of doing it in your own home, I don't know the legal aspects, beating up the man who messed with your life and family could mess up your life and family even more. Just ask a poster called Juicer.


Juicer made the wrong decision to not only do this in front of cops, but also tried to take on a cop. That was dumb and he's said that many times himself. Another apple and orange comparison.

I don't even know why I participate in this convo anymore. It's useless. There will never be a one size fits all resolution, so further discussion on it is pretty much rendered moot. I've stated my thoughts clearly, and I stand by them, just as you have and you will.

I'll refer back to a previous post I made today....



3putt said:


> This thread reminds me of an old saying:
> 
> _For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those that don't, none will suffice._


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> But I think only beating up somebody you think you can beat is morally wrong.
> 
> Bullies in school would only pick on those weaker than them.


Err... Not really in my eyes. 1st bullies start first. As far as in concerned the om started first attacking my life, my dignity. I'm just retaliating using any means avaliable to me. 2nd, I have been trained to defend others and myself good half of my life, the om is presumably good with ladies. .. well... tough luck he should have thought about consequences before. 3rd, where did I say "engage only if om is weaker? ". What I'm saying, measure risk vs reward first.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Just re-read some of my posts in this thread. Damn.

I need to add a disclaimer to my sig.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

3putt said:


> This thread reminds me of an old saying:
> 
> _For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those that don't, none will suffice._


It also reminds me of a quote.

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves."


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> It also reminds me of a quote.
> 
> "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves."


Bullsh!t. 

_It's not the revenge, it's the reckoning_ (consequences). 

Pure and simple to me.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> It also reminds me of a quote.
> 
> "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves."


Zombieland - Dig 2 Graves


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Rule #1 Cardio!!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
> You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
> You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.


Size and other attributes influence who wins a fight but only fighting when you know you're going to win is not what it's about. 

It's more about looking back on your life and being proud of yourself. That primarily why I'd look to avoid a fight with either big or small but it's also why those things aren't what matters.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> This is a very mature and measured response, but it will do little to sate the burning rage that you'd feel upon learning that another man has been unloading into your wife's birth canal.


See now you're making me smile Gus. I can only say that back in 96 when my ex cheated, I wanted to punch her square in the face way more than the OM (I didn't though). The idea that the OM was responsible for her spreading her legs never crossed my mind.

I learned from my mistakes and married a good woman the second time around and I think I was a character role model for my kids and I'm being rewarded for it now that they're grown. Three strong young men and four grand kids later. Life it good.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd think that a well-placed pickup truck would work pretty well as an equalizer in such an instance.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


Stolen... at night... too much evidence otherwise.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> See now you're making me smile Gus. *I can only say that back in 96 when my ex cheated, I wanted to punch her square in the face way more than the OM (I didn't though).* The idea that the OM was responsible for her spreading her legs never crossed my mind.
> 
> I learned from my mistakes and married a good woman the second time around and I think I was a character role model for my kids and I'm being rewarded for it now that they're grown. Three strong young men and four grand kids later. Life it good.


I can understand the sentiment but, like you, I could never hit my wife.

But the OM...? As a man's work deserves a man's wages, a man's crime deserves a man's punishment.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> Size and other attributes influence who wins a fight but only fighting when you know you're going to win is not what it's about.
> 
> It's more about looking back on your life and being proud of yourself. That primarily why I'd look to avoid a fight with either big or small but it's also why those things aren't what matters.


This. 

A guy living in, say, tough neighborhood buys a handgun for his son. Couple of days later he asks his son how is it going with the gun. The son responds he thought he didn't like it and pawned it for cool rolex watches. Dad looks at him and says: look there are bad people out there. One day they may come kill your mother, rape your sister and do despicable things to your dog. And you going to tell them "thanks, it's half past three? "

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> I can understand the sentiment but, like you, I could never hit my wife.
> 
> But the OM...? As a man's work deserves a man's wages, a man's crime deserves a man's punishment.


To be honest my EX didn't deserve me fighting for her. When she cheated, she was no longer a prize worth conflict. I was angry at myself for marrying her in the first place. The OM in my opinion was getting a broken cheater and I was thinking "you go for it buddy". I however was getting away from a cheater.

Do OMs and OWs deserve to pay? Sure. But my problem at the time was that I was married to woman who would cheat so I fixed that problem. That was 18 years ago though so it seems like a different life.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> To be honest when my EX didn't deserve me fighting for her. When she cheated, she was no longer a prize worth conflict. I was angry at myself for marrying her in the first place. The OM in my opinion was getting a broken cheater and I was thinking "you go for it buddy". I however was getting away from a cheater.
> 
> Does OMs and OWs deserve to pay? Sure. But my problem at the time was that I was married to woman who would cheater so I fixed that problem. That was 18 years ago though so it seems like a different life.


Understood. And it's good to hear that you turned things around w/ a great, new wife. :smthumbup:


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> To be honest my EX didn't deserve me fighting for her. When she cheated, she was no longer a prize worth conflict. I was angry at myself for marrying her in the first place. The OM in my opinion was getting a broken cheater and I was thinking "you go for it buddy". I however was getting away from a cheater.
> 
> Do OMs and OWs deserve to pay? Sure. But my problem at the time was that I was married to woman who would cheat so I fixed that problem. That was 18 years ago though so it seems like a different life.


This is a good attitude, and glad you have a better life and are in a better place, but your assessment of the fighting is incorrect in my view. We are not fighting FOR the WS and their protection, we are fighting for and defending OUR sanity, pain, and self respect. We are not trying to defend her, but defend ourselves and maintain some level of self esteem that has been robbed from us.

Even though it is entirely wrong and unhealthy, the easiest way to gain self esteem and strengthen your sense of worth is at the expense of someone else's.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

And do you regain self esteem etc if OM punches you into the middle of next week? It's not the movies, you don't get an automatic win because you are the wronged party.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> And do you regain self esteem etc if OM punches you into the middle of next week? It's not the movies, you don't get an automatic win because you are the wronged party.


People that are truthful with themselves gain self respect for sticking up for themselves, win or lose, as within any violent actions there are no clear cut winners. As long as you put up your best fight and know it you can hold your head high. I have won and lost my share of fights (well no one eve really wins so I should say I have come out with the least amount of scrapes and bruises) and I can always feel that I have defended myself and have no regrets about them. I get it that lots are more passive than I and are happy with their results and actions to walk away but that is not me (sometimes I wish that could be me but alas it is not and I won't down them for their views just as I would like to not be judged for mine). 

I have never been "knocked into next week" and never will. I am one of the fortunate ones out there to have studied and mastered a martial arts most of my life, have been trained in military tactics and warfare during my time of service in an elite force, been disabled in the defense of our country, and have an extremely high pain threshold that all work in my favor for this action not to occur. Will I come out unscathed? No and I don't intend to but I will not lay down and roll over for these bullies either. They desecrate my home, wife, family, and respect and I am supposed to turn the other cheek? Sorry but that is not how I operate. To those who can overlook all this, more power to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> People that are truthful with themselves gain self respect for sticking up for themselves, win or lose, as within any violent actions there are no clear cut winners. As long as you put up your best fight and know it you can hold your head high. I have won and lost my share of fights (well no one eve really wins so I should say I have come out with the least amount of scrapes and bruises) and I can always feel that I have defended myself and have no regrets about them. I get it that lots are more passive than I and are happy with their results and actions to walk away but that is not me (sometimes I wish that could be me but alas it is not and I won't down them for their views just as I would like to not be judged for mine).
> 
> I have never been "knocked into next week" and never will. I am one of the fortunate ones out there to have studied and mastered a martial arts most of my life, have been trained in military tactics and warfare during my time of service in an elite force, been disabled in the defense of our country, and have an extremely high pain threshold that all work in my favor for this action not to occur. Will I come out unscathed? No and I don't intend to but I will not lay down and roll over for these bullies either. They desecrate my home, wife, family, and respect and I am supposed to turn the other cheek? Sorry but that is not how I operate. To those who can overlook all this, more power to you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I suppose as you and 3Putt have said, it's a personal choice, to each their own. 

I also wonder if it's an age thing?
I did all my fighting as a younger man and have the broken nose and scars on my lips to show for it. I would now only fight if I had to, not because I want to.

If you are prepared to accept any possible ramifications for assaulting someone then have at it. Ideally I would try to get OM to throw the first punch in front of witnesses and continue from there.
There have been a couple of cases where I live where a BH has appeared in court facing assault charges after giving OM a beat down. This could negatively affect your family life.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> I suppose as you and 3Putt have said, it's a personal choice, to each their own.
> 
> I also wonder if it's an age thing?
> I did all my fighting as a younger man and have the broken nose and scars on my lips to show for it. I would now only fight if I had to, not because I want to.
> ...


Completely agree. I am not young either but was more so in my younger days. Like I have said to many, I am the worst type of person you want to attack , as those who feel they have nothing left to lose no matter what size are the ones to be afraid of the most as they don't hold back for fear of what they may lose. With a WW that had destroyed any semblance of family I feel I have little to nothing to lose. This scares most to run from these situations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> I suppose as you and 3Putt have said, it's a personal choice, to each their own.
> 
> I also wonder if it's an age thing?
> I did all my fighting as a younger man and have the broken nose and scars on my lips to show for it. I would now only fight if I had to, not because I want to.
> ...


I would rather have this fight in complete privacy so there's a level of deniability. Then I wouldn't hit him in the face. Do I need to say where he would feel the pain the most?

Leave no marks if possible....just saying ...hypothetically...haha!
Not that I'm advising anyone to do this. 

For those who say that the OM is not to blame....I'll compare this to my dog and how he treats any stupid groundhog who wanders onto our property.....there's a pile of bones out back for those who don't recognize proper boundaries. Defending your territory garners respect. 

I love that frickin dog! He's a good dog! 

Stupid ground hogs never learn!


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.
> 
> The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.
> 
> ...


Just remember to drag 'em into the bathroom and work them over so you don't get blood on the carpet.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Of course there's the flip side where the WS doesn't give a flying f**k that you are harassing the piece of excrement OM. My ex Ws didn't care. In fact she accused me of stalking him and his wife!

When it came to the attempted restraining order court date my ex WS refused to stand side by side with me and said he & I were like two children. She wanted nothing to do with the very thing she helped create. 

The restraining order application failed. I had some satisfaction that the coward didn't show but like others here I feel there is unfinished business - I can wait.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Horizon said:


> She wanted nothing to do with the very thing she helped create. .


All of this anger and wanting to get even with the OM or OW, while justified, is pretty misdirected. The OM / OW should always be the secondary target. The WH / WW should be harshly delt with first ... they are the main criminals, the OM / OW are just accomplices to the crime. Why the fear of going after WH / WW? (Reconciliation is really not an excuse)


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> All of this anger and wanting to get even with the OM or OW, while justified, is pretty misdirected. The OM / OW should always be the secondary target. The WH / WW should be harshly delt with first ... they are the main criminals, the OM / OW are just accomplices to the crime. Why the fear of going after WH / WW? (Reconciliation is really not an excuse)


I disagree that they are just an accessory to the crime. If two thieves get together and rob a bank at the request of the first. When they are caught and sentenced the second, who was only there at the request of the first, is charged and convicted for the same crime and gets the same sentence (unless they cut a deal) assuming like backgrounds and histories (and if the secondary thief has a more robust background, they get more punishment o no accessory plea is acceptable. 

The reason that most on here don't talk about going after the WH/ WW violently is that most of those on here advocating this are males and were brought up to be moral and protectors of females and not to strike them but it is/ was considered perfectly acceptable to strike a male. We do want and try to exact as much punishment that we can out of the female without resulting to violence, as it is a moral code that we were raised to live by. It is the same reason that we don't exact or advocate RA's because it is against our moral code and upbringing. Most females aren't violent by nature, it is the whole hunter/ gather nature of male and female instincts, so although they wouldn't be generally completely distraught or upset if their WH took a major beating at the hands of the AP's BF/H, they themselves will not dole it out.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Would you beat him up if he was 6' 7" tall and built like a tank while you were 5' 8"?
> 
> Unless you are prepared to try to give the same treatment to The Hulk as you are to a 7 stone weakling then leave the guy alone physically.
> 
> ...


this is where the passive aggressive guy can shine you can do kinds of nasty crap to the OM without touching them and without their knowledge and some of it could be legal.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Horizon said:


> Of course there's the flip side where the WS doesn't give a flying f**k that you are harassing the piece of excrement OM. My ex Ws didn't care. In fact she accused me of stalking him and his wife!


I don't see this a s the flip side. I see your relationship with the WS something completely different and unrelated, as like I stated before we are not doing this for their protection or honor, we are doing it for ourselves.

If you have ever stood up for yourself, no matter the situation or outcome, you always come away with a better sense of self and that is your self esteem developing/ strengthening, and coming through. Not all loses in life are something that destroys self esteem , it is how you conduct yourself during that builds your self esteem and personal assessment of your worth. 

For some this can be turning the other cheek and being the bigger man, and for others it can be exacting your pound of flesh in revenge. It just all depends on the individuals nature, morals, and values. It is not a one size fits all answer here.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Horizon said:


> I feel there is unfinished business - I can wait.


Every town has people who would provide a beatdown for a few dollars. Think about it.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> I don't see this a s the flip side. I see your relationship with the WS something completely different and unrelated, as like I stated before we are not doing this for their protection or honor, we are doing it for ourselves.
> 
> If you have ever stood up for yourself, no matter the situation or outcome, you always come away with a better sense of self and that is your self esteem developing/ strengthening, and coming through. Not all loses in life are something that destroys self esteem , it is how you conduct yourself during that builds your self esteem and personal assessment of your worth.
> 
> For some this can be turning the other cheek and being the bigger man, and for others it can be exacting your pound of flesh in revenge. It just all depends on the individuals nature, morals, and values. It is not a one size fits all answer here.


:iagree:
There's a million variables. Personality, age, place in life, length of marriage, quality of marriage, nature of affair, principles, pride, etc. And we surprise ourselves when put in situations like this sometimes.

My EX was no a victim and that's probably what prevented me from getting violent with OM. Plus the thought of her feeling like we were fighting over her just turned my stomach. I was in exit strategy mode.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> :iagree:
> There's a million variables. Personality, age, place in life, length of marriage, quality of marriage, nature of affair, principles, pride, etc. And we surprise ourselves when put in situations like this sometimes.
> 
> My EX was no a victim and that's probably what prevented me from getting violent with OM. Plus the thought of her feeling like we were fighting over her just turned my stomach. I was in exit strategy mode.


:iagree:

My WW is a serial cheater (and I believe that she always will be without cure). I generally agree that doing something for her turns my stomach as well. I no longer defend her. When someone calls her a where or s!ut, I just either agree and let it go, or sometimes ask them not to say it in front of me and my children. Their opinion is what it is and I allow them that, but if they respect me they won't say it in my presence.

As to the exacting revenge. I have 2 OMs that directly disparaged, belittled, and insulted me. my family, and destroyed my life through their heinous and selfish acts. They are the ones I would like to exact revenge from. The other OMs were nothing to me and during their As with my WW did nothing to rob me of my life other than ruin my M. They never visited my house, met and spent time with my kids, and never disparaged me, just pursued her. I therefor couldn't care less what happens to them either way and would be fine turning the cheek for them and taking the passive route. Like I have said not every story is black and white cookie cutter resolutions. I have two separate situations in my life and two separate resolutions, one passive and the other active.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> :iagree:
> There's a million variables. Personality, age, place in life, length of marriage, quality of marriage, nature of affair, principles, pride, etc. And we surprise ourselves when put in situations like this sometimes.
> 
> My EX was no a victim and that's probably what prevented me from getting violent with OM. Plus the thought of her feeling like we were fighting over her just turned my stomach. I was in exit strategy mode.


Pretty much. I think my x would have loved it had I attacked her d bag. Got fired from my job and all that. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. 

Since I have rarely ever seen the BS attack the OM in real life I know this doesn't happen often and most is just Internet talk but I would certainly encourage anyone who is thinking about doing this to please reconsider. I know i found this site two days after my x had an affair and guess many are reading this lost and confused as I was. No matter win or loose you will still be in the wrong in the eyes of the law and can loose your life if you tackle the wrong guy. Find a better route of revenge if you must. White raven has a great example :smthumbup:


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> Pretty much. I think my x would have loved it had I attacked her d bag. Got fired from my job and all that. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
> 
> Since I have rarely ever seen the BS attack the OM in real life I know this doesn't happen often and most is just Internet talk but I would certainly encourage anyone who is thinking about doing this to please reconsider. I know i found this site two days after my x had an affair and guess many are reading this lost and confused as I was. No matter win or loose you will still be in the wrong in the eyes of the law and can loose your life if you tackle the wrong guy. Find a better route of revenge if you must. White raven has a great example :smthumbup:


If I was the OM and got beaten up for taking advantage of what was offered I would most certainly be contacting the police with a view to ruining the attackers life.

Failing that I would be plotting my own revenge................


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> White raven has a great example :smthumbup:


Yes but this doesn't provide the same satisfaction for the BS, which is what we are looking for to have some closure. If you hire someone to do the deed, or post them on cheaterville and someone else does it, it just isn't the same closure even though the end result is the same.

It is like lots of other things in life where accomplishing things for yourself is much more satisfying than contracting someone else to do it. You could pay someone to restore a vehicle, house, etc for you and the end result may be exactly the same or better in the appearance, but the pride in knowing that you did the work yourself adds another level of satisfaction that can't be accomplished through just bank rolling the endeavor. Just ask Jay Leno, as he could afford to have any car/bike immaculately restored by professionals, but most of the time he prefers to do the wrenching himself and has become a leading authority because of it. 

Somethings and joys in life money just can't buy!!


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> Pretty much. I think my x would have loved it had I attacked her d bag. Got fired from my job and all that. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
> 
> Since I have rarely ever seen the BS attack the OM in real life I know this doesn't happen often and most is just Internet talk but I would certainly encourage anyone who is thinking about doing this to please reconsider. I know i found this site two days after my x had an affair and guess many are reading this lost and confused as I was. No matter win or loose you will still be in the wrong in the eyes of the law and can loose your life if you tackle the wrong guy. Find a better route of revenge if you must. White raven has a great example :smthumbup:


Thank you Mr Wolf. 

I worked for a guy during my college days. He knew someone who knew someone. The OM had it bad. Charges were filed but nothing could be proved. He was one of the kindest men I've ever known but his WW's A broke something in him. He got away coz he was smart enough. 

I'll always remember something he said 'You are a criminal only if you are caught'. 

As a teen with raging hormones, he seemed like a really cool guy. Now that I've grown up, I see a guy who was crazy enough to risk it all. Violence is not worth it. 

Bones, muscles can reattach and grow back. You want to hurt someone so that he remembers for life, attack his heart and mind.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Yes but this doesn't provide the same satisfaction for the BS, which is what we are looking for to have some closure. !


There is no closure for the BS. Ever. What can be considered an equivalent exchange for what you have lost? Nothing. At least for me.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> There is no closure for the BS. Ever. What can be considered an equivalent exchange for what you have lost? Nothing. At least for me.


Nobody said anything about equivalent exchange, but one can gain closure for their situation. I wouldn't say or imply that the beatings delved out would be an equal exchange either, but it can put closure to that part of your hurt (the betrayal from your WS will still be there but that imposed by the OM can be closed possibly). 

It is like I have been explaining to my WW lately and all of her toxic friends who talk about our D: Equitable doesn't equal to or mean fair! They keep exchanging these terms equally and think they mean the same thing and are interchangeable. D's can be considered equitable in settlement but are rarely fair (hence no even exchange of hurt be delivered) What the courts and states deem equitable is generally no where near fair for at least one party, but it still offers a level of closure for the situation.


----------



## Lovemytruck (Jul 3, 2012)

WhiteRaven said:


> .... Violence is not worth it.
> 
> Bones, muscles can reattach and grow back. You want to hurt someone so that he remembers for life, attack his heart and mind.


I generally agree.

I tend to think exposure generally does this if they are worried about their image. Guilt is also a cancer of their soul, depending on the character of the AP.

Revenge is a tricky part of betrayal. What is it's ultimate purpose?

Sometimes we lose as much as the person we seek to damage. I think revenge has a benefit if it helps offending parties to change for the better. I am not sure what God's role in revenge would be; eye for an eye? Turn the other cheek? I guess it depends. Does it help you heal?

I went through most of the extreme emotions too. 3.5 years after D-day #1, a D, dating, marriage #2, I say living well is the ultimate revenge. 

Respect from my former in-laws, my children, a wonderful new wife, and great relationships with step-children makes my exWW realize how stupid her affairs were. Her OM#1 is still a loser with a crappy future. Her OM#2 has had two divorces after he was exposed. They reap what they sow.

My happiness supersedes my need for re-payment. Hell, I was re-paid with a better life! 

I have not read this thread, so I may be a little off or redundant.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> If I was the OM and got beaten up for taking advantage of what was offered I would most certainly be contacting the police with a view to ruining the attackers life.
> 
> Failing that I would be plotting my own revenge................


Geez... Man up and take your medicine, IMO.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

WhiteRaven said:


> Thank you Mr Wolf.
> 
> I worked for a guy during my college days. He knew someone who knew someone. The OM had it bad. Charges were filed but nothing could be proved. He was one of the kindest men I've ever known but his WW's A broke something in him. He got away coz he was smart enough.
> 
> ...




Again much respect. And couldn't agree more. I outed the other man but that was end of it. Only person I have ever truly wanted revenge on was my x wife cause of her lies and hurting my children. The best revenge has been living well and watching her life flush down the toilet. It's beyond satisfying


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Geez... Man up and take your medicine, IMO.


Problem is Gus people don't do this. The other man, provided that he is in the know about the woman being married, has already shows to be of low character, entitled , self absorbed, and no regard for others. We know this because he willingly had sex with a married woman. So no way some sense of, "well I had that ass kicking coming", is going to suddenly appear. They are exactly the type who will call and press charges.

Even the d bag who screwed my x wife tried to have me fired for calling his house and telling his wife what happened. These people by definition are all about the self entitlement


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

WyshIknew said:


> If I was the OM and got beaten up for taking advantage of what was offered I would most certainly be contacting the police with a view to ruining the attackers life.
> 
> Failing that I would be plotting my own revenge................


Gone are the days when having sex with another man's wife was considered wrong and the OM took the beat down he deserved. Now they run to the police like the cowards they are. And it usually goes like this:

"I was beaten up by this woman's abusive husband/ex husband."
"And how are you involved in all this?"
"I'm just a friend"

Instead of telling him he got what he deserved, I have to bite my tongue and refrain from whooping his ass myself. The same goes for OW who run to the police because of the anger of the BW. This is the part of the job I hate the most, dealing with infidelity on a daily basis.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lordmayhem said:


> Gone are the days when having sex with another man's wife was considered wrong and the OM took the beat down he deserved. Now they run to the police like the cowards they are. And it usually goes like this:
> 
> "I was beaten up by this woman's abusive husband/ex husband."
> "And how are you involved in all this?"
> ...


That can't be easy. My hat's off to you, sir.

And, on a semi-related note, how many of your brothers (and sisters) in blue would you say are or have actively engaged in infidelity themselves? I've always wondered about those statistics.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> And, on a semi-related note, how many of your brothers (and sisters) in blue would you say are or have actively engaged in infidelity themselves? I've always wondered about those statistics.


Too many, and its usually between male and female partners. Men and women can't seem to work together closely in a high stress environment and not get involved. Something about all the long hours, shared danger and stress. But half the women are lesbian anyway.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> That can't be easy. My hat's off to you, sir.
> 
> And, on a semi-related note, how many of your brothers (and sisters) in blue would you say are or have actively engaged in infidelity themselves? I've always wondered about those statistics.


Among with teachers and nurses they are said to have a high level of infidelity. Of course it depends on the precinct. Imagine if she ran to a cheating cop, and he just sees an opportunity to powerfuly cuckhold a sexless husband.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Given this...



lordmayhem said:


> Men and women can't seem to work together closely in a high stress environment and not get involved. Something about all the long hours, shared danger and stress.


...(along w/ my own observations) I'd say that corrections officers could easily be added to this list...



treyvion said:


> Among with teachers and nurses they are said to have a high level of infidelity.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"If I was the OM and got beaten up for taking advantage of what was offered I would most certainly be contacting the police with a view to ruining the attackers life.

Failing that I would be plotting my own revenge................ "

Well, then we think very differently.

I would think that I just f*cked with a man's life who had never done anything to me, and if I was honest about it, I deserved what was done.

Plus, I would feel like a total douche running, crying to the police saying, "I f*cked this guy's wife and he beat me up." 

Of course, I think that way cause I'm not a POS...I'm sure most scumbags who would be a POSOM would indeed be angry that they got some payback for screwing with another man.

I have no problems with a man getting his 'pound of flesh' from someone who has done him one of the worst wrongs another man can inflict.

IMO, at a certain level, there is an issue between two men that has nothing to do with the WW.

I would NEVER allow another man to wrong me unjustly and unprovoked without retaliating.

This f*cker would have just destroyed my entire life, and if I had kids, he would have destroyed their family and happy childhood.

I don't care that he had my WW as a partner in doing this, POS does NOT get a free pass in my book.

I would absolutely destroy his reputation and life in any way possible, and if I could figure out a way to avoid jail, he would be getting a physical beat down as well.

A man who injures another man should EXPECT to be retaliated on.

All giving a free pass to a sh*tbag like this does is give him no pause or consideration before he goes on to do it to another guy.

One poster here on TAM, I believe it is Flood, admits he was often an OM when he was wild and younger...but he got a REAL eyeopener (if I recall right) when he found himself with a gun in his mouth begging the man whose life he had just destroyed to let him disappear.

Now guns and killing are wrong and over the top for payback...but I don't think a black eye or busted lip are.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> Well, then we think very differently.
> 
> I would think that I just f*cked with a man's life who had never done anything to me, and if I was honest about it, I deserved what was done.
> 
> ...


How to Say Yes in Different Languages

Pick the first ten -- one for each of the notions presented in the above.



Dyokemm said:


> A man who injures another man should EXPECT to be retaliated on.


Yes! This is one of the points that I've been trying to make all along. You can't stick your hand into a beehive and not expect to *bee* stung (Ha ha!). Well, actually, you could, but you'd be a *f*cking idiot*.



Dyokemm said:


> All giving a free pass to a sh*tbag like this does is give him no pause or consideration before he goes on to do it to another guy.


Amen! Testify, brother!



Dyokemm said:


> One poster here on TAM, I believe it is Flood, admits he was often an OM when he was wild and younger...but he got a REAL eyeopener (if I recall right) when he found himself with a gun in his mouth begging the man whose life he had just destroyed to let him disappear.


Ah, Mr. Flood. What a character. I thoroughly enjoy reading his posts as, if nothing else, they are certain entertaining. But even still, I can't help but think that his wife's infidelity was (though 110% on her) the Universe's way of delivering a very highly-customized Karma Bus to his front door.

Haven't seen him post regularly in a while, hope he's doing well.



Dyokemm said:


> Now guns and killing are wrong and over the top for payback...but I don't think a black eye or busted lip are.


Agreed, though mostly due to the precedent and principle put forth here.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Well laws are written by politicians and the people that they represent so they would be to blame for that one. While I won't disagree with them deserving an ass whopping, In some circumstances, when does it become too much? ....so could you kill them? What if you attack them and accidentally kill them what would happen then? You can see where that leads. And then what about the defense part of this. I have been cheated on and was beside myself with grief. Wasn't exactly in my right frame of mind for about a week. Had I been able to attack him with legal impunity I doubt I could have stopped I was so angry. And since I had never met the guy she banged in our bed what if I got it wrong and attacked the wrong guy? Or suppose the other guy had no clue that the woman was married and one day just gets attacked how would that work.
> 
> Just seems way to complicated to have an exemption to the law for these circumstances. Course catching them in the act is generally going to be a different scenario and I have seen that play out differently as well


Well said. Of course the law is about justice, not revenge. The husband does not own the wife. What she does and with whom is on her. I'm always leery about exceptions (except that there are always exceptions) because you get into the slippery-slope area.

Even a guy in "your" house is problematic. Assuming that the wife has invited him in, he's not even trespassing.

Sure, you want to beat his head in, but consider how that can be expanded. It could go from infidelity to beating up the husband of the kid who bullied your kid, or the kid who slept with your underage daughter or the auto dealer who sold you the lemon or the contractor who took you for a ride or on and on and on.

When we decided to live in communities, we decided to give up on individual justice and settle for rules of law. It is sometimes painful but there it is.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Size is very much an issue. A good big guy will more often than not beat a good small guy, it's why they have different weight divisions in boxing.
> You're gonna (generic you're) look pretty stupid if you attack OM and he stuffs your head up your arse and makes you cry Uncle.
> You can have all the motive in the world but if the guy is a bigger, better fighter than you, you will lose.
> 
> Also with the possible exception of doing it in your own home, I don't know the legal aspects, beating up the man who messed with your life and family could mess up your life and family even more. Just ask a poster called Juicer.


I very much agree.

What worries me is that the smaller guy might decide to bring an equalizer to a meeting with the OM. Now we are in troubled waters.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> This is a very mature and measured response, but it will do little to sate the burning rage that you'd feel upon learning that another man has been unloading into your wife's birth canal.


I'd be mad at HER, not him. After all, if I thought she was special when I married her, I'd not be surprised that another man also thought she was special.

And she didn't have to say yes.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> Well said. Of course the law is about justice, not revenge. The husband does not own the wife. What she does and with whom is on her. I'm always leery about exceptions (except that there are always exceptions) because you get into the slippery-slope area.
> 
> Even a guy in "your" house is problematic. Assuming that the wife has invited him in, he's not even trespassing.
> 
> ...


You're correct, a man's wife -- even though she's promised to forsake all others, giving herself to her husband alone -- is not his "property". But, likewise, the sanctity of neither his home nor his marriage are "_community_ property".

And even the rule of law doesn't excuse someone from the common sense behind the "mess w/ the bull, get the horns" principle, and to hide behind such a thing -- having defiled another man's wife, marriage, family, home, and (possibly) marital bed -- is nothing short of absolute cowardice.

But, if we truly are discussing justice, I'll relent and -- again -- offer this.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> I'd be mad at HER, not him. After all, if I thought she was special when I married her, I'd not be surprised that another man also thought she was special.
> 
> And she didn't have to say yes.


There's plenty of anger to go around in these situations, and both parties will have earned their fair share of it. OM is not excused simply because he's pledged no vows to the BH.

Seriously, you wouldn't be angry w/ the other guy at all? Even if you walked in on them in the middle of the act?


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> "If I was the OM and got beaten up for taking advantage of what was offered I would most certainly be contacting the police with a view to ruining the attackers life.
> 
> Failing that I would be plotting my own revenge................ "
> 
> ...


Look, I'm not saying the OM should get a free pass, far from it but deciding that you are going to physically assault another man could be a massive problem for you. From the involvement of police through to a serious injury or death for you or OM.

Once you start giving him a beating could you stop? What is appropriate revenge? Black eye? Busted lip? Broken jaw? Death due to brain haemorrhage? (Happened to an ex friend of mine, he had a thin skull.)


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> Look, I'm not saying the OM should get a free pass, far from it but deciding that you are going to physically assault another man could be a massive problem for you. From the involvement of police through to a serious injury or death for you or OM.
> 
> Once you start giving him a beating could you stop? What is appropriate revenge? Black eye? Busted lip? Broken jaw? Death due to brain haemorrhage? (Happened to an ex friend of mine, he had a thin skull.)


Wysh, I'm sorry that you lost your friend. (Or was he already an ex-friend at the time...? Sorry, not clear on that...) And, while I won't do his memory the disservice of assuming that he was engaged in the type of behavior that we're discussing here, I will say this...

If I were to find out that a friend of mine were mauled to death after knowingly walking into the tiger enclosure at the Houston zoo while holding a bag of ribeye steaks, I'd feel pretty badly for him and his family. But, in all honesty, my first thought would likely be something along the lines of _"Wow, what a dumb f*ck. He should've known better."_

Now, that's not to say that he would have deserved it... but that he shouldn't have been surprised by it. _In other words, he should have expected it._


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> There's plenty of anger to go around in these situations, and both parties will have earned their fair share of it. OM is not excused simply because he pledges no vows to the BH.
> 
> Seriously, you wouldn't be angry w/ the other guy at all? Even if you walked in on them in the middle of the act?


Depends. But if I had any brains what I should do is pull my phone out of my pocket and take movies. There's no denial after that.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

sidney2718 said:


> Depends. But if I had any brains what I should do is pull my phone out of my pocket and take movies. There's no denial after that.


LOL. Good point. I've often had the same thought myself... though, admittedly, I probably wouldn't be capable of that level of composure.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Wysh, I'm sorry that you lost your friend. (Or was he already an ex-friend at the time...? Sorry, not clear on that...) And, while I won't do his memory the disservice of assuming that he was engaged in the type of behavior that we're discussing here, I will say this...
> 
> If I were to find out that a friend of mine were mauled to death after knowingly walking into the tiger enclosure at the Houston zoo while holding a bag of ribeye steaks, I'd feel pretty badly for him and his family. But, in all honesty, my first thought would likely be something along the lines of _"Wow, what a dumb f*ck. He should've known better."_
> 
> Now, that's not to say that he would have deserved it... but that he shouldn't have been surprised by it. _In other words, he should have expected it._


No, he was in a bar having a few drinks, some d1ckhead pushed him over, he banged his head against the floor and felt a little woozy.

They got him a taxi home and in the morning they found him dead on his garden path.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"When we decided to live in communities, we decided to give up on individual justice and settle for rules of law."

This is absolutely true...under the social contract theory of government (on which our society and civilization are based), we have given up our NATURAL RIGHT for retaliation against those who wrong us BECAUSE the government will get justice for us on those individuals.

So what to do when the government REFUSES to get justice for the wrongs inflicted on you? (and this actually applies to far more than just infidelity, as even a cursory review of the actions of Wall Street bankers will demonstrate)

Well at that point, IMO, the contract is voided...the government failed to deliver on its DUTIES under it, and my natural right is returned...it did not disappear.

I view any retaliation on the POS to be obtaining justice that the government has failed to provide...not only failed but (in our current system) REFUSED to provide.

So, under these circumstances,I see nothing MORALLY wrong with retaliation/revenge.

I'm enough of a realist to admit, however, that the government will undoubtedly refuse to admit their failures under the social contract and will aim to punish anyone who attempts to gain justice themselves for the injuries inflicted...in other words, you might/probably will face legal ramifications if you go after someone.

Now, many people might disagree with what I have written, and that's fine, but I think anyone disagreeing would have to concede that 238 years ago they would have said that any man who signed the Declaration of Independence was a criminal and a traitor deserving of the harshest punishment by the British.

Because the argument I just made is essentially the same one put into the Declaration by Jefferson and his collaborators.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Wysh, looking back at some of your replies in this thread, I get the sense that what you're trying to do here is to advise everyone involved of the potential pitfalls that may arise from seeking some sort of physical revenge against an OM. Honestly, that's fair enough.

After all, the "mess w/ the bull, get the horns", "play w/ fire, get burned", "can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" principle applies both ways.

Point taken. Having said that, I stand by mine as well.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> No, he was in a bar having a few drinks, some d1ckhead pushed him over, he banged his head against the floor and felt a little woozy.
> 
> They got him a taxi home and in the morning they found him dead on his garden path.


Damn. That's rough.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> "When we decided to live in communities, we decided to give up on individual justice and settle for rules of law."
> 
> This is absolutely true...under the social contract theory of government (on which our society and civilization are based), we have given up our NATURAL RIGHT for retaliation against those who wrong us BECAUSE the government will get justice for us on those individuals.
> 
> ...


*Wow!!!*

Gents, we now have an absolute mandate -- *backed by Jeffersonian principles* -- to seek out tangible satisfaction in the face of the horrendous and egregious injustices perpetrated against us by the "Other Men" constituency!

Well played, Dyokemm. :smthumbup:


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Wysh, looking back at some of your replies here, I get the sense that what you're trying to do here is to advise everyone involved of the potential pitfalls that may arise from seeking some sort of physical revenge against an OM. Honestly, that's fair enough.
> 
> After all, "mess w/ the bull, get the horns", "play w/ fire, get burned", "can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" principle applies both ways.
> 
> Point taken. Having said that, I stand by mine as well.


Just exactly that Gus!

And as I've said I'm a hypocrite although I never hit the guy, just threatened him. However if I knew (I *wish I knew*) that he definitely had I'm not sure I wouldn't have hit him. I'm glad I didn't.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

WyshIknew said:


> Just exactly that Gus!
> 
> And as I've said I'm a hypocrite although I never hit the guy, just threatened him. However if I knew (I *wish I knew*) that he definitely had I'm not sure I wouldn't have hit him. I'm glad I didn't.


I know that we've reached an impasse here (actually, more of an agreement, I think), but I feel the need to take this a step further in order to _really_ get my point across...

The good, decent, morally-upstanding man known to us here as "WyshIKnew" may indeed be happy that you didn't hit him... but the dirty, hairy, greasy, bestial, nameless savage lurking just underneath what you hold to be "you" will _always_ want to smash his face in. The angst that is carried over into your chosen TAM identity, as well as your own words, signal this pretty clearly.

A man who chooses to lay his hands upon another man's wife does so out of lust -- a manifestation of his own dirty, hairy, greasy, bestial, nameless savage, if you will. He chooses to eschew any boundaries set forth by the tenets of personal dignity, honor, and integrity in order to actively partake in this activity. The trog has come out to play and the OM chooses not to put it back into its cage.

So, having invited one trog to the party, it's nothing short of naive to expect that another trog won't show up.

_Namely, the trog that lives there._


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Wysh, looking back at some of your replies in this thread, I get the sense that what you're trying to do here is to advise everyone involved of the potential pitfalls that may arise from seeking some sort of physical revenge against an OM. Honestly, that's fair enough.
> 
> After all, the "mess w/ the bull, get the horns", "play w/ fire, get burned", "can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" principle applies both ways.
> 
> Point taken. Having said that, I stand by mine as well.


That's what I gathered as well. And when kids are part of the equation there's more risks. I used to have a short fuse and I was confident in my physical ability to kick butt as well so it's surprising that I didn't jump on the OM. Learned something about myself.

I would hate to lose custody or visitation due to a recent assault charge. Even worse miss years of their lives while I sat in prison. And I wouldn't want to give her "he's abusive" ammo.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Sqwe'reueakr said:


> If you have ever stood up for yourself, no matter the situation or outcome, you always come away with a better sense of self and that is your self esteem developing/ strengthening, and coming through. Not all loses in life are something that destroys self esteem , it is how you conduct yourself during that builds your self esteem and personal assessment of your worth.


This. It's not about winning a fight, it's about own dignity and self respect. Couldn't have put it better. 

Squeakr, were you saying you're ex military?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Turin74 said:


> This. It's not about winning a fight, it's about own dignity and self respect. Couldn't have put it better.
> 
> Squeakr, were you saying you're ex military?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Yes. Marines.


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Turin74 said:
> 
> 
> > This. It's not about winning a fight, it's about own dignity and self respect. Couldn't have put it better.
> ...


Well that probably explains the mind set. So was I (military, not Marines, not US). Because I've seen a lot of resemblanceon what you were saying, you explained it way better.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Yes. Marines.


/salute

My Dad was/is a Marine. I know that doesn't necessarily give me any sort of bragging rights, but I salute you nonetheless.

LOL... this actually brings a couple of things back to me...

* He gave me a Marine NCO Handbook for my 18th birthday.

* When I was younger, I wanted to join the military, and was talking w/ Army and Navy recruiters. My Dad didn't care for this, and was pushing for me to join the Air Force. Here was his rationale...

"Son, if you want to join the military, join the Air Force, and here's why I say that...

1 - I love you, but you won't cut it in the Marines. Sorry, just being honest.

2 - If you join the Army, you might wind up as dead in some godforsaken southeast Asian jungle, and it would kill me to have to bury you.

3 - _If you join the Navy, *I WILL F*CKING KILL YOU.*_

Join the Air Force."

LOL. That's my Dad.

Semper Fi!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

lordmayhem said:


> Gone are the days when having sex with another man's wife was considered wrong and the OM took the beat down he deserved. Now they run to the police like the cowards they are. And it usually goes like this:
> 
> "I was beaten up by this woman's abusive husband/ex husband."
> "And how are you involved in all this?"
> ...


Have had the same feeling as you but you deal with this on a daily basis? I have only ever encountered it a handful of times in 15 years and more often from women going after the OW than the other way around


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Turin74 said:


> Well that probably explains the mind set. So was I (military, not Marines, not US). Because I've seen a lot of resemblanceon what you were saying, you explained it way better.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Thanks for your service, and yes it is hard frame of judgment to break out of. Many will never understand it as they have never lived it or experienced it (and for that lots of times they should be grateful, LOL).


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> Thanks for your service, and yes it is hard frame of judgment to break out of. Many will never understand it as they have never lived it or experienced it (and for that lots of times they should be grateful, LOL).


Yep. Handshake.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> I don't see this a s the flip side. I see your relationship with the WS something completely different and unrelated, as like I stated before we are not doing this for their protection or honor, we are doing it for ourselves.
> 
> If you have ever stood up for yourself, no matter the situation or outcome, you always come away with a better sense of self and that is your self esteem developing/ strengthening, and coming through. Not all loses in life are something that destroys self esteem , it is how you conduct yourself during that builds your self esteem and personal assessment of your worth.
> 
> For some this can be turning the other cheek and being the bigger man, and for others it can be exacting your pound of flesh in revenge. It just all depends on the individuals nature, morals, and values. It is not a one size fits all answer here.


That's the problem - I want my pound of flesh and the opp hasn't presented itself where I can act with impunity. Time passes and it cuts - sometimes.

Yes, I shouldn't have called it the flip side. I should have called it the "flip out side" - where the BS is betrayed and then when he is doing battle on all fronts the WS reminds him how far the chasm between them actually is.

After all the bullsh!t written apologies and claims about new beginnings you are savagely reminded where you really stand.


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## TheFlood117 (Mar 24, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.
> 
> The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.
> 
> ...


Are you still with this woman?!?!??


On beating up OM/OW. When I fooled around with married woman back in the day, I didn't really get beat up. But I did get "handled" one time by a Husband that was kinda, what's the word. Gangsteresque I guess you could say. 

After that experience I stopped bangin' married woman. And haven't and will not since. 

But I think, you reap what you sow. So if you bang married chicks then you know, you gotta pay the piper. 

And in some instances that means an a$$ whoopin' or worse.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

TheFlood117 said:


> But I think, you reap what you sow. So if you bang married chicks then you know, you gotta pay the piper.
> 
> And in some instances that means an a$$ whoopin' or worse.


If only all the APs out there shared this philosophy, there would not necessarily be less infidelity, but there would be less judicial involvement. 

All of my WW's OMs are pu$$ies and have proven it by spouting out sh!t but then hiding behind the law when called out on their actions and comments (lets see the same set of state laws that says adultery is illegal is not a good enough law for you to obey or care about, but assault and battery are perfectly legitimate laws to support and uphold??). It is amazing how they can selectively justify their thoughts and situations based upon their ideals of the laws that are legitimate and come into play and how they would affect them directly.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Squeakr,

Well put.

These POSs are the ultimate in contemptible cowards.

There is NOTHING more chickensh*t in this world then committing an unprovoked injury on another person, then running to get the law to protect you from the justly deserved retaliation.

And the fact POSs are so contemptible also makes the WSs equally contemptible in my book,

Anyone who would be interested in 'THAT' gets zero respect in my book.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

My x-wife feared I'd, at the very least, confront the OM.

I remember telling her something along the lines of "He is a POS, but you are the one that willingly spread your legs for him. You are who I really need to deal with"

Besides that, I knew if they got together that getting her is punishment enough for him. And it was. He is in hell, and so is she


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

vellocet said:


> My x-wife feared I'd, at the very least, confront the OM.
> 
> I remember telling her something along the lines of "He is a POS, but you are the one that willingly spread your legs for him. You are who I really need to deal with"
> 
> Besides that, I knew if they got together that getting her is punishment enough for him. And it was. He is in hell, and so is she


Life has a way of punishing wrongs (not always though). Think about the WS and the OM/OW who get such an ego boost but then realize they've won the prize shiny turd.

Sometimes affair partners hook up for long term relationships but the odds are like 2% of long term success. Even then so many of that 98% who flop will not openly admit it was because of a tainted foundation. They just keep on blame shifting. But I have to believe they know down deep.


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## Happyfamily (Apr 15, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.
> 
> The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.


This doesn't make any sense to me. 

You were married. Your wife moved in with another man. You were unaware of what? That he had been married? Why did being unaware of whatever it was make a difference?





> The second was a rebound betrayal after she was thrown out of the wealthy man's house and came crawling back begging forgiveness. That guy was simply pouncing on a weak woman. When I caught him at my house I lit into him. Not like it appears on TV (a lot of missed or blocked punches and pushing really), but I knocked him down good with a punch (I used to box) and wrestled/threw him out of the house.
> in every case, but in some.



I don't have a problem with defending the home. I'm just not sure of the logic being used here, nor do I think we actually have a story. Like what actually happened. Sequence of events. That matters a great deal. "pouncing on a weak woman" is figurative, not literal, and makes it sound like you interrupted him beating her. 

My husband killed a burglar before I met him. I could tell the story in a number of different ways and depending on what I leave out it would very much change how people felt about my husband. Before I do, I want to hear yours.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Dyokemm said:


> Squeakr,
> 
> Well put.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

The cowards are the first people to run to the police when they get their ass kicked by the BH. 

And the other times its the WW calling the police when their OM is getting his ass kicked by the BH.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

My POS called and texted me for over a year,he would threaten to come over to my house
and rape my wife.He set up fights with me then would run,I'd see him in traffic and he would run again.
He kept telling me he was going to kick my azz,started talking sh!t about my kids.
His long term GF told me he was thinging about going to the cops because he was afraind
of me.
I was the one that went to the cops,they called him and told him to knock t off,
he did for awhile then started up again.
It was only when I got ahold of his work and threatend to sue them and him that his calls and
text to me stopped.
God have mercy on him when I finally to run into him and he can't get away because I won't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

If you are still married to this serial cheater, than it is YOU who needs the beat down...


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Old bf from hs,it was a EA on facebook,they did'nt get physical then ether.
Nothing but a coward.
Wife even outed herself after she came to her senses.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

calvin said:


> My POS called and texted me for over a year,he would threaten to come over to my house
> and rape my wife.He set up fights with me then would run,I'd see him in traffic and he would run again.
> He kept telling me he was going to kick my azz,started talking sh!t about my kids.
> His long term GF told me he was thinging about going to the cops because he was afraind
> ...


Typical cowardly OM. Talks smack, then hides. But if you do actually run into him, he'll run away to the police. That's what POS's like him do. He's not a man, he's a worm.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Typical cowardly OM. Talks smack, then hides. But if you do actually run into him, he'll run away to the police. That's what POS's like him do. He's not a man, he's a worm.


 Yeah,I chased him a couple times in his work truck ( doesn't own a vehicle,he's broke)
One time he almost hit a telephone poll,I figure he might hit a car loaded with a family so I've seen him
a couple more time in traffic,I just let the idiot go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

calvin said:


> Yeah,I chased him a couple times in his work truck ( doesn't own a vehicle,he's broke)
> One time he almost hit a telephone poll,I figure he might hit a car loaded with a family so I've seen him
> a couple more time in traffic,I just let the idiot go.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sneak up on him someday if you can and just tap him on his shoulder. Have someone around to record it. Don't forget to post it on youtube(blur your face before you do it)


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

I didn't have to go after om. I told his fiancé and she took matters into her own hands. I guess he spent some time in the hospital.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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