# I am leaving



## don12 (Apr 21, 2012)

My wife and I decided to seperate. I am moving in with a friend of a friend for the mean time. I chose to leave because my wife isn't much of a mother to our kids and the only reason I am leaving is to see that her two sons need her and it is not easy to work and raise kids by yourself. I will still be here most of the time Being with my kids but after I put them to bed I am gone. It makes me sad that I can't be there for them if there is a problem at night or seeing them first thing in the morning. My wife and I have had the worst luck in our lives since we got married. All these problems are the reason we can't stand each other anymore. The is no physical or emotional connection anymore. This separation is what she wants. I want us to try and forget about the past and focus on the future. I see a councilor once a week and started going to church to try and get involved in more family type things. All the friends I have are married and have kids. Her friends are all single and are always out doing something. She doesn't see why this is a problem. I love her so much but my councilor tells me I am in love with the memories that we had. I need to cut my ties and move on. Everyone I know is telling me to leave her she is not good for me. Why am I the only one who wants this to work out. My wife has anxiety and gets panic attacks. She refuses to go see anyone or get help. Am I making the right decision by moving out of our house. Should I just divorce her and be done with it. How do I know if I am in love with a memory. Why does everything have to be so hard.


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

don12 said:


> My wife and I decided to seperate. I am moving in with a friend of a friend for the mean time. I chose to leave because my wife isn't much of a mother to our kids and the only reason I am leaving is to see that her two sons need her after I put them to bed I am gone.


You're leaving her (and your two kids) because she isn't much of a mother to your two kids?

How is that going to help your kids?

Seems to me like you're making the situation worse.


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## don12 (Apr 21, 2012)

She is the one who wants to be seperated not me. If she leaves she will screw me over on work by not helping me watch the kids. I can't go to work and leave my kids home. I work grave yard so it's hard to get a sitter. I don't think I am going to make things worse by leaving. I am still paying the bills and paying for everything. She has it easy be a mom.


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

don12 said:


> She is the one who wants to be seperated not me. If she leaves she will screw me over on work by not helping me watch the kids. I can't go to work and leave my kids home. I work grave yard so it's hard to get a sitter. I don't think I am going to make things worse by leaving. I am still paying the bills and paying for everything. She has it easy be a mom.


If she screws you over on work she's screwing herself over because you give her money to pay for stuff.

You're not thinking this through.

Also it's not easy being a full time mom.


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## don12 (Apr 21, 2012)

I have been a stay at home dad for the past two years. I do all the cleaning all the kids stuff everything. She worked and that was it. Since we started having problems I got a job so if we divorce I have some money. I still work and take care of the kids. She goes to work and then when she is home she just sits on her phone talking to get friends. She needs to know that I need help too. I am more than happy to be a single parent but I don't think it is fair to my kids to not have a mom that cares what they are doing.


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

You walking away isn't going to suddenly make her care more about the kids.

You having a job to make money if you divorce won't quite work that way, if you get a divorce she'll get a big chunk of your take home pay since she doesn't work.

You'll be lucky if you have enough left to pay for a small apartment somewhere.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

She sounds selfish. 

What was the reason that she's not being a responsible mom and wife?


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## don12 (Apr 21, 2012)

She still has a job and works. She just has a group of single friends that she hangs out with and she wants to live the single life. She is to caught up in going places with her friends and not being with her family.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Apparently, she forgets that she's not single anymore while she tries to behave like she is.
She needs to be reminded that she is married and she's not on the same conditions as her single friends. 

Did she get married at a young age?


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Correct me if I am wrong, but you are going to work, then coming home and taking care of the children. Then after they go to bed, you leave.

That really will show her.. She isn't doing anything different, but perhaps getting them up in the morning.

I don't agree with your logic here either. Leaving to "show her" is a negative for the children. It seems spiteful and emotional. When these two mix together the decisions are hardly ever that great in the long run. 

If she wants the divorce and doesn't want to work on it, you do not have a choice. Keep going to church!


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I agree with Traggy. What is there left to do for her?
Even now that you're leaving, sounds like you'll do everything and she nothing.


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