# Because of my drinking problem



## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

Hi guys, I am new to this forum. I have a wife and 2 kids. We have been married for 4 years and I have been addicted to alcohol when we are two years married. But now she left with our kids. I just need a help I love them so much I want them to come back to my life. What should I do? I don't know where or how to start to stop drinking.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Counseling.

I found that I couldn't control my drinking on my own. I started with this book:

Take Control of Your Drinking...And You May Not Need to Quit: 9780801886683: Medicine & Health Science Books @ Amazon.com

and realized I couldn't do it on my own. A lot of alcoholics have to hit the bottom before they try to change. Hopefully your wife leaving with the kids will be your "bottom" and you'll get help.


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

How much is is the cost? I have to do the right to make them back to my life. Thanks dude


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

droll said:


> How much is is the cost? I have to do the right to make them back to my life


These two sentences, say you're not ready. If you were ready, the cost would not be a factor or a consideration.

You haven't said where in the world you are, but look for local AA meetings. Even if you can't afford counselling, join an AA group to start to get you the help you need.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

DayOne said:


> These two sentences, say you're not ready. If you were ready, the cost would not be a factor or a consideration.
> 
> You haven't said where in the world you are, but look for local AA meetings. Even if you can't afford counselling, join an AA group to start to get you the help you need.


I did this, too. Funny thing is a lot of my family were in AA but I thought I didn't need it. Finally decided to attend a meeting. The stories I heard about people losing their families, kids, jobs, being homeless told me that I needed to change.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Here's my (maybe worthless) idea. When do you have you first drink? 
5:00 lets say. All day, that hour is circled, and that's what you do.

You've got to find a way to move that circle back. Go in later, work later. Go for a walk. Buy a dog if you have to. Have you drinks at 6:00. 

By something for the kids. Play a game with them or take them somewhere to gobble up time. Make dinner a bigger thing. Go get something special. Have dinner, stay busy, get distracted.

So many vices are kept alive thru boredom. Stack the deck against it. Get busy, do things, go places, eat dinner, go to bed, ANYTHING. Squeeze it out time-wise. Don't think.


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

DayOne said:


> These two sentences, say you're not ready. If you were ready, the cost would not be a factor or a consideration.
> 
> You haven't said where in the world you are, but look for local AA meetings. Even if you can't afford counselling, join an AA group to start to get you the help you need.


I need to do this for my family, sorry I don't have enough money to pay for it. But just like what you said I have to join to get help. Thanks bro


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

Forest said:


> Here's my (maybe worthless) idea. When do you have you first drink?
> 5:00 lets say. All day, that hour is circled, and that's what you do.
> 
> You've got to find a way to move that circle back. Go in later, work later. Go for a walk. Buy a dog if you have to. Have you drinks at 6:00.
> ...


This is a good idea. Maybe you're right, I have to find a way to move that circle back


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

droll said:


> This is a good idea. Maybe you're right, I have to find a way to move that circle back


I was hurriedly dashing that off last night, and later thought of something else. There are medications out there that as a side effect, take the buzz out of alcohol. There are also those that do it by design. You take the pill, later on when you drink, the alcohol just makes you feel kinda blah.

For a few years, I've been in the habit of the "couple beers" around sunset. I kinda wish I'd knock it off, for fear of the beer gut. Anyway, 2-3 years ago I hurt my shoulder. For about 2 months I was taking Ultram (tramadol) for the shoulder. Something about a nerve and torn bicep.

I knew I probably shouldn't be drinking with it, but couldn't resist my evening beer. Within a week, I ceased the beer drinking completely. It was like drinking extra-filling water or something. Did nothing for me. After I stopped the medication, I gradually went back to the beer. (my mistake)

The hitch, of course, is that these medications can be equally habit forming. My point is that maybe your doctor could sort it out for you with a minimum of discomfort.


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

Oh.. So you're still drinking until now. By the way this is the first time that I don't drink alcohol it doesn't feel so good to me, but I have to this for my family.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

droll said:


> Hi guys, I am new to this forum. I have a wife and 2 kids. We have been married for 4 years and I have been addicted to alcohol when we are two years married. But now she left with our kids. I just need a help I love them so much I want them to come back to my life. What should I do? I don't know where or how to start to stop drinking.


You already know what to do. "How" depends on you. Some folks manage to quit drinking by sheer force of will and some need professional assistance. I'd think a great place to start would be to choose whether you value your family or alcohol more and to realize you can't have both. Maybe the real question is "when?". 
You say you love them but isn't in closer to the truth to admit that your commitment to alcohol has been greater? Alcohol isn't your buddy. It's stealing your family, your money, and it'll be happy to take your life. If you believe you are quitting alcohol for your family I fear you will fail. You need to do it for yourself. Some drunks quit by dying. Some have to lose absolutely everyone and everything before they quit. 
If you are serious about quitting, you will answer that "when" question with "now" and you will figure out "how". You won't care what it costs. I'd caution you to not fall into the trap of believing you can control or manage it. Drunks who try to "cut down" slip right back into the habit, usually progressively lower.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Forest said:


> I was hurriedly dashing that off last night, and later thought of something else. There are medications out there that as a side effect, take the buzz out of alcohol. There are also those that do it by design. You take the pill, later on when you drink, the alcohol just makes you feel kinda blah.
> 
> For a few years, I've been in the habit of the "couple beers" around sunset. I kinda wish I'd knock it off, for fear of the beer gut. Anyway, 2-3 years ago I hurt my shoulder. For about 2 months I was taking Ultram (tramadol) for the shoulder. Something about a nerve and torn bicep.
> 
> ...


Alcohol + Tramadol is a bad idea. Don't do this.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I am lucky at this point, my wife knows I drink, she just has no idea how much I drink and how often. I know she would be very unhappy if she knew the truth. It is a hard thing to deal with, when you are depressed, have little control over things, and just want to drink to numb the pain.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

gbrad said:


> I am lucky at this point, my wife knows I drink, she just has no idea how much I drink and how often. I know she would be very unhappy if she knew the truth. It is a hard thing to deal with, when you are depressed, have little control over things, and just want to drink to numb the pain.


This was a trap I saw myself stepping in recently. Self medicating depression with alcohol ultimately leaves you with two problems instead of one.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Fozzy said:


> This was a trap I saw myself stepping in recently. Self medicating depression with alcohol ultimately leaves you with two problems instead of one.


Thats the truth


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> This was a trap I saw myself stepping in recently. Self medicating depression with alcohol ultimately leaves you with two problems instead of one.


My question is whether there are people that are addicted to alcohol that are NOT self-medicating to deal with some kind of pain, repressed probably. I doubt it. and I think this holds for all addictions. I have a different addiction but it nonetheless threatenns my sanity, marriage, quality of life just the same.....
I don't believe there are many people that can address/overcome such addictions without serious help from others, probably professionals. then again the addiction is just a symptom - the disease is the pain or other emotions that one has buried. I think they have to be dug up

and BTW I am also dealing with depression, with my particular addictions as the result. complete analogy with you Fozzy....


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## SoFlaGuy (Nov 28, 2014)

Find an AA meeting and don't drink today....then do the same tomorrow....and repeat but for right now do it TODAY. Depending on how much damage you did, you may not even be able to win the family back but hopefully you can. Bottom line this is life and death and if you want to be there for your kids you need to stop. You also need to do it for yourself, there is a life out there waiting for you beyond alcohol. Good luck, it's not always an easy road but trust me it's worth it.


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## deload (Dec 13, 2013)

I went through a recovery program for substance abuse. It was the best thing I ever did for my self. I have to say it was emotionally exhausting, but I resolved so many issues I had covered up with pills, and alcohol. I always thought I was ok because I was highly functional. In retrospect I was not as functional as I thought. 
I will say this, I am a different person now, and being different means everyone who knew me had to adjust to who I really was. Even if a change is for the better some people have a hard time accepting it until you prove yourself. That is a good thing too. 
For me the biggest challenge was that when I quit I had to learn what to do with myself every evening. Sometimes I would just sit on the couch and think "I have no idea what to do, life is so boring" I would watch my wife and kids go about their business but that was about it. It took some time but now I actually enjoy my evenings so much better than I did when drinking. 
Not too long ago I found a bottle of vicodin in our bathroom that I got from the dentist. It was over 2 years old. All I could think about was that there was a time when I would have used the entire bottle in a day or 2. 
I tried to control it. I would get better then I would have a drink and 6 months later I would realize I had been drunk every night since that drink I thought I could control. 
An option that might be available to you is if your company has an employee assistance program. I know most role their eyes and think that's too humiliating. But if you are more worried about being embarrassed than quitting then you definitely need help. 
Today I have no problem telling people I needed help. Its who I am and I am comfortable with it. But when I started the process I was humiliated and wanted to get it over with and never speak of it again. That is what a successful program does for you.


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

Hi guys! It's good to be back! By the way, I'm 2 months sober now, I'm very thankful for all the supports that I've received and I'm very happy now because I have my family back to my life. I know this will a tough journey to my sobriety and I don't need to attend into a rehab center. I actually planned to admit in one of these centers, i even collected some information about how rehab works, i gathered a vast amount of resources and ideas on the internet, such this Addiction Rehab Center Provo Utah that i'm digging for a week now. But thankfully, I don't need to enter there to reach my sobriety goals because my family is enough to be my inspiration to have a better life everyday.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Tried L-glutamine and vitamin b complex (especially B3 since the L-glutamine needs B3)?


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