# Tell me what do I need to freaking do



## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

1- Been married for 5 years and we have two toddlers

2- Wife stay home mom and half time online school. 

3- I work full time with full time grad school

4- I work 4 days long hours and I have 3 days off


- I'm semi Lazy person, I dont help as much in the house ( not sure what normal husband suppose to do) I put kids to sleep. take family once a week out and twice and once a week I take them to my parents. 

- I like to dress up for work and always like to have nice dress up clothing 

- stopped working out few months ago ( 5 months) i gained 20LB

- I work in a large Business area. 

My problem 

- Wife Does not take care of her self. Today is the 10/31 and as I remember that last time she did her hair was Saturday 10/27. 

- she wears same old home wear things even I seems to buy her new stuff for the house every once and a while but i feel like I dont see them. 

- I'm not sure how to put this without hurting anyone, but you see some woemn beautiful naturally without any make up and no matter what they wear at home they look decent. well, my wife does not look that way and has to take care of herself with make up to look beautiful ( I mean home make up). wife has perfect body I'm talking, J Lo, J Aniston Body. 

- sometimes when we go out, she barely touch her face with make up.

- we have talked so many times. I told her about my concern and fursteration and told her even I could cheat because she dont take care of herself. I told her I meet and see alot women at my work place and they are super hot and dress up nice. 
I told her that in so many ways. she does make up for a day or may be two then stops. 

- a year ago I even told her sister and her mom that I need a solution they talked to her and changed. 

- just last week, we get in argument about something, then early morning while at work she text me saying I dont love you and I'm not even attracted to you out of no where.

- got home and gave her flowers i picked from garden and she said she was mad about an argument we have. 

- if you ask me. yes I'm not in love with her like I used to be and not attracted to her physically because I dont her freaking body with these daily home clothes she wears. 

- even all of that I still try to kiss her and tell her I love you and hug her daily just to keep myself and my family together. 


sorry for my typos when I'm fursterated and mad I type very fast and skip words and letters.

by the way she is 30 and I'm 31.

I'm 5'10' weight 215lb with built features and extra weight.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

You should be more worried as to why your wife is no longer in love with you & not attacted to you then her wearing make-up.

Marriage counseling may help.


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

if she stayes home all day everyday, then she really has no reason to "dress up" and do her makeup all nice,

if i was home all the time i would be wearing track pants and grubby t-shirts all the time, not a shirt and tie and dress pants.....lol

take her out more and give her a REASON to dress up and look nice


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

You need to work _with_ her about these things. It seems like you are attacking her and being a hypocrite in the process. You think she is letting herself go when you admittedly gained 20lbs in 5 months, are semi lazy and barely help around the house? Your job requires you to dress up and look nice. Her job requires her to take care of two small human beings which means she needs to be comfortable and able to deal with a lot of messes. She may be letting herself go a bit but I think you are being extremely harsh on her and it is affecting how she feels about _you_.

Stop looking at her so negatively and try empathazing with her and what she does for your family and household. Then try working along side her where _both_ of you put more effort into the other as well as your own appearance and self worth.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

A SAHM with two toddlers to care for and you want a stepford wife? Not going to happen buddy. You can ask, but honestly it's not a reasonable request under the circumstances. If you were home all day with the kids/chores you wouldn't be sporting your nice shirts and ties and creased slacks either. Try putting yourself in her shoes for a change. 

I'm sure she'd love to go get her hair done and do her makeup more than once a month, but her lifestyle doesn't allow for that kind of primping. And to be honest, if my husband told me he was thinking of cheating on me because of that I'd tell him to go for it. If that's all it takes, then I don't need him because he's a superficial jerk of a husband who is only thinking about himself anyway. But that's me.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Emerald said:


> You should be more worried as to why your wife is no longer in love with you & not attacted to you then her wearing make-up.
> 
> Marriage counseling may help.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

notwhatineed said:


> 1- Been married for 5 years and we have two toddlers
> 
> 2- Wife stay home mom and half time online school.
> 
> ...


What is your wife's favorite thing to do?

What are your wife's interests?

What does her day usually consist of?

What is her favorite color?

How much time does she get to spend doing her favorite thing to do?


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

everything you guys said very true. 

she very emotional person. I also work hard, she lives in a nice house driving a nice car and she has everything she want, she goes vacation every year. 

I dont want her to look stepford wife or super model. but just two mintues of hair brush and little make up would work with me. 

why we are not in love? for many reasons. but that is not the issue. 

I hate my job but that does not mean i neglect myself and dont look good when I go to work.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

notwhatineed said:


> everything you guys said very true.
> 
> she very emotional person. I also work hard, she lives in a nice house driving a nice car and she has everything she want, she goes vacation every year.
> 
> ...


And I'm 100% sure if she had to get up and leave the house to go to an office to work she would do exactly as you do...

She's not in an office all day, she's at home with 2 little people that make messes of epic proportions. I wouldn't be wearing dressy clothes trying to care for babies either, that's just plain dumb. I'd be trashed in 10.2 seconds.

You're being unreasonable. That's all there is to it.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

notwhatineed said:


> I hate my job but that does not mean i neglect myself and dont look good when I go to work.


That's not the point. If you were a construction worker would you wear a suit to work? And then on the weekends when you aren't working do you put on your suit and tie? She is constantly working because she is a stay at home mom and probably has no reason to dress up. Like another poster said, give her a reason to dress up and she will. Going to parent's homes isn't a reason to dress up. Going out to a nice dinner or something is. Put her in more environments that require her to dress up and I guarantee she will. Keep her at home watching two kids and it's kind of hard to focus on herself because she is putting them first.

You should try putting them or her first and see how it works.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

DayDream said:


> What is your wife's favorite thing to do?
> anything that involve going out, date nights, outdoors, traveling
> 
> 
> ...


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Wives will often follow the lead of their man.

First of all, get yourself back in shape! You are WAY more than 20 pounds overweight for your height....I dont care how muscular you are.....you should be like 165-170....maybe 180 if you are a big boned muscled up guy. 

Cut back on the eating of junk and carbs.....you can lose that weight with minimal working out if you eat better....low glycemic diet....GNC protein powder products make it very easy for me to keep in a normal weight and low body fat percent with just a few hours a week weight lifting and a little ab work....and Im 46 not 31!!!

Seems like almost ALL women like men with a flat stomach.....make that your goal. My wife seems to love it that she can see my abs...not six pack oh well....haha...

You have to deal with that to put yourself in a position to even make a comment...otherwise you are a hypocrite.

She may perk up just from your leadership...IF you get back into shape, eat well, start doing some reasonable housework help...especially guy stuff like outdoor maintenance and handyman type stuff...that should be your area....(considering your schedule you should not be doing all the laundry, cooking etc..that would not be reasonable).

At her age, why are you saying she needs makeup to look good?

She has a hot body per you.....so what if her face is not perfect?

Did you fall in love with her based upon her face with makeup on??? With hair "done.." Her hair does not look ok just washed and natural brushed? 

I like it when my wife wears nice things around the house and told her so years ago..so she wears REASONABLE things around the house...things that look "ok" but also allow her comfort. Even if its gym shorts she gets nice ones and I like it. 

Sometimes its hard if its TOO NICE...then I want to chase her around all the time...lol. 

Man, my wife is 45, she does not have a celebrity body, but I think she is at a normal weight and good enough body and looks lovely to me. 

Because I really love her I think I must not notice all the imperfections.....if I WANTED to list them I could....but I dont dwell on that cause I love her and Im attracted to her as a whole package....

Sometimes Im not sure WHY..haha...but I just am.

Her face is not perfect, but I like her with or without makeup! I would not expect her to wear makeup at home for me....and I can go out with her either way.....a little makeup is nice at times....

If I had a SAHM as a wife I still don't think Id expect her to wear makeup for me at home? 

Are you attracted to her only by her looks?

You guys need to work on yourselves together.....work out together sometimes if you can.....she needs to WANT to look good for you....same for you.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

A Bit Much said:


> And I'm 100% sure if she had to get up and leave the house to go to an office to work she would do exactly as you do...
> 
> She's not in an office all day, she's at home with 2 little people that make messes of epic proportions. I wouldn't be wearing dressy clothes trying to care for babies either, that's just plain dumb. I'd be trashed in 10.2 seconds.
> 
> You're being unreasonable. That's all there is to it.



I dont want her to wear a dress. I dont want her to look dressy. I want her just to brush her hair and a little nice light make up on face nothing more. boxers, shorts I love on her.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

notwhatineed said:


> I dont want her to wear a dress. I dont want her to look dressy. I want her just to brush her hair and a little nice light make up on face nothing more. boxers, shorts I love on her.


Make up, with toddlers? OH OK. You're really out of touch. She should leave the house on you at 6AM to 8PM one day and see how much you accomplish on your own. Including taking a shower. 

You're a piece of work.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Actually...I don't see a big issue with fixing yourself up a little for your man. Gotta keep the home fires burning. Being a mom is no excuse to let yourself go.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

I dont use makeup and men still look at me! Women don't need to put a bunch of stuff in their faces to look attractive!
I do agree that it doesn't hurt to put some use lipstick and bronze, but more than that is just overkill, specially if she is staying at home.
LESS, IS MORE!!


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

A Bit Much said:


> You're a piece of work.


:iagree: And he thinks she said she doesn't love him out of nowhere..:scratchhead: hmmmm....I have a pretty good idea where it came from.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

fetishwife said:


> Wives will often follow the lead of their man.
> 
> First of all, get yourself back in shape! You are WAY more than 20 pounds overweight for your height....I dont care how muscular you are.....you should be like 165-170....maybe 180 if you are a big boned muscled up guy.
> 
> ...


THANK YOU THANK YOU. Best advice ever. you are great.
like i said. gym clothes at home. boxers, shorts, nice small comfy skirt for the home I'm all fine by it. I dont want her dressy, i dont want her full make up. just something very quick and nice. atleast just when i get home.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

DayDream said:


> Actually...I don't see a big issue with fixing yourself up a little for your man. Gotta keep the home fires burning. Being a mom is no excuse to let yourself go.


I agree completely but him saying the last time she did her hair was 4 days ago like she never does it. Really, 4 days? Give her a break already. He is being extremely judgmental of his own wife.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

DayDream said:


> Actually...I don't see a big issue with fixing yourself up a little for your man. Gotta keep the home fires burning. Being a mom is no excuse to let yourself go.


She's not letting herself go, he's the one that's overweight. He hides it with his fancy clothes though so I guess that's a-ok.

He's talking about make-up and hair. Around toddlers all day long... he's not even home to enjoy it. Maybe she DID have it on at some point, but the day wore it all off by the time he got home.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

BitMuch
I dont care if she has it all day or not. but atleast when i get home just fix herself a little. nothing extrem. 
something light and quick.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

notwhatineed said:


> BitMuch
> I dont care if she has it all day or not. but atleast when i get home just fix herself a little. nothing extrem.
> something light and quick.


You're funny. I think I know why your wife told you she has lost that loving feeling for you. It's becoming clearer and clearer with every post. 

I'd go so far as to say she's not doing it for you on purpose. You just haven't caught on yet.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

He's not saying to wear it around the toddlers all day long. She could spruce up a bit before he gets home from work. 

OP: I'm a little in the dark about the "does her hair" stuff. Do you mean she doesn't brush it in four days, or what? Suggest she get a haircut that is low-maintenance but still looks good. 

YOu never answered my questions about your wife either. CAN you answer them? Do you even know the answer to them? My point was...do you even know who your wife is, or is she just something to stick on your arm when you go out?


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Memento said:


> I dont use makeup and men still look at me! Women don't need to put a bunch of stuff in their faces to look attractive!
> I do agree that it doesn't hurt to put some use lipstick and bronze, but more than that is just overkill, specially if she is staying at home.
> LESS, IS MORE!!


Bravo! Good for you. 

However...I respectfully disagree. Some women definitely look tons better with a little make up. Some can get away with none. Lucky you if you are one of them.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> He's not saying to wear it around the toddlers all day long. She could spruce up a bit before he gets home from work.


Sure she could. And make sure dinner was on the table and she had his drink and smoking jacket for him too.

I'm being facetious, but really I think he's stretching his request a bit thin under the circumstances. If the kids were older? Yes, this is a more feasible request.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

notwhatineed said:


> - we have talked so many times. I told her about my concern and fursteration and told her even I could cheat because she dont take care of herself. I told her I meet and see alot women at my work place and they are super hot and dress up nice.
> I told her that in so many ways. she does make up for a day or may be two then stops.


LOW BLOW. You cannot approach her like this and expect it to work. If anything, that is going to make her feel like rebelling and keep doing exactly opposite of what you ask. You need a loving approach to this. You need to step up around the house and with the kids, she is probably feeling very resentful of you. 

With that said, I do agree that wives should try and present themselves in a good light appearance-wise to their husbands out of respect to him as their partner. Would she want to look at you all the time in gross grubby clothes, with messy hair, and unshaven? But she is feeling too resentful to put forth that effort, there are reasons for that! So step up!


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

A Bit Much said:


> Sure she could. And make sure dinner was on the table and she had his drink and smoking jacket for him too.
> 
> I'm being facetious, but really I think he's stretching his request a bit thin under the circumstances. If the kids were older? Yes, this is a more feasible request.


I don't think it's a good plan to decide to look shabby and unkempt 90% of the time for (what...8, 10, 20 years....how many kids does the guy have...til they grow up) your spouse. Man or woman. 

I agree the OP is sounding a little cave-mannish...but really now, think about it.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

3Xnocharm said:


> LOW BLOW. You cannot approach her like this and expect it to work. If anything, that is going to make her feel like rebelling and keep doing exactly opposite of what you ask. You need a loving approach to this. You need to step up around the house and with the kids, she is probably feeling very resentful of you.
> 
> With that said, I do agree that wives should try and present themselves in a good light appearance-wise to their husbands out of respect to him as their partner. Would she want to look at you all the time in gross grubby clothes, with messy hair, and unshaven? But she is feeling too resentful to put forth that effort, there are reasons for that! So step up!


Yeah, I agree. The "I'm gonna cheat if you don't" card? You're just being a d**k now.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

DayDream said:


> Actually...I don't see a big issue with fixing yourself up a little for your man. Gotta keep the home fires burning. Being a mom is no excuse to let yourself go.


GREAT POST!! I agree totally!! :iagree: I was a stay at home dad a year while I was laid off and I had two young kids with me, I took the time to not only care for them and the house but also myself. This is about priorities and sticking to them. I had a list of the things I needed to do and stuck to that list, look people women (and men) have been doing this for years and they are able to keep up with their own appearances. 

Now that is not saying the op should not keep up with himself either but one has nothing to do with the other. I will not let myself go down even if my wife decides too.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

DayDream said:


> I don't think it's a good plan to decide to look shabby and unkempt 90% of the time for (what...8, 10, 20 years....how many kids does the guy have...til they grow up) your spouse. Man or woman.
> 
> I agree the OP is sounding a little cave-mannish...but really now, think about it.


8, 10, 20 years from now no. Right now? With 2 kids under 5 in the house to run after? I can let that go. I'm sure when she goes out to meet her friends she's looking pretty decent. HE wants that when he gets home from work. Well after her day, that's a stretch. And it's not like she hasn't done it at all, she has, but it quickly becomes a non sequitor after a few days. She has more important things to do than put on makeup and change clothes 15 minutes before he gets home... which she'll only have on probably an hour before she crashes. 

Maybe her ambivalence stems from his overall laziness in the home and the implied favor he does her when he 'holds' the kids while she goes out with friends or whatever.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

A Bit Much said:


> 8, 10, 20 years from now no. Right now? With 2 kids under 5 in the house to run after? I can let that go. I'm sure when she goes out to meet her friends she's looking pretty decent. HE wants that when he gets home from work. Well after her day, that's a stretch. And it's not like she hasn't done it at all, she has, but it quickly becomes a non sequitor after a few days. She has more important things to do than put on makeup and change clothes 15 minutes before he gets home... which she'll only have on probably an hour before she crashes.
> 
> Maybe her ambivalence stems from his overall laziness in the home and the implied favor he does her when he 'holds' the kids while she goes out with friends or whatever.


I do agree he needs a little adjustment to his over-all view of things. Or a lot of adjustment....maybe...


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

Bit Much

I swear you are just a man hater. I said Im not perfect. and I added that on my first post before talking about my wife. 
her semi lazy is by her standard. to me
I work around the house in my days off, example, I painted house exterior, built stone patio, installed a new kitchen and new floors all by myself. 
I love and I really do love for her to hang out alone with her friends while I baby set, I do push her to do it and happy for her to do that so she can be happier. 
everytime she dont feel like cooking or tired I bring food from out side or I cook. I dont mind that she just have to ask. 

yes she didnt brush her hair for 4 days and just tie it backword. 

I help in house like clearning and steaming carpets, dong laundary when they are heavy, im always washing cleaning the bed blankets and sheets without her asking. 

Who Am I?

I been in this country USA for almost 11 years. I came with my family when I was 18 years old, I worked two jobs to spend money on my parents and three young sisters while going to school full time. 
by the time i was 25 my family parents able to work, sisters finished school and now owned their masters. 
by age 25 i was married to my wife and owned 4000 square foot house and obtained two master degrees. 
currently working full time and getting my Phd soon. 

When we came to this country my family had $5000 in savings and Im proud of myself to make mortgage payment for my parents when I was only 19 years old. 

when I met my wife she didnt have a high school or driver license. I pushed her and helped to get her GED and now she is finishing her 4 years degree. 

first year of Marriage were hard finacially I worked two full time jobs so I can afford things to my wife so she cant feel she is missing anything compared to her friends. 

yes If I'm lazy now by her standard, I freaking deserve to be lazy after all what I did because Im really burned out. 

all i asked for something simple, just do your hair and some light clean make up when I'm home. 

i asked her for years and asked her very nicely how i like her to look like, hints, flirting.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

DayDream, 

I answered your questions look on the first page.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I've yet to meet a homemaker that didn't go through this when they had little ones at home myself included. In hindsight I should have put forth more of an effort but honestly just getting through the day with 3 kids under the age of 5 was exhausting. I was lucky to be CLEAN much less have makeup on. If I somehow managed to find a few spare minutes I was asleep. I lived in jeans, sweats and t-shirts. I became frumpy mom.

I didn't decide to let myself go it just happened. As my kids got older I got a grip. I lost the baby weight, started working out, bought new sexy casual clothes, and made an effort to do my hair/makeup every day.


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## notwhatineed (Oct 31, 2012)

sorry again for typos. typing fast while pissed


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

notwhatineed said:


> sorry again for typos. typing fast while pissed


Have you talked to her and explained your point of view to her in a constructive way? 

Like I said before, there is nothing wrong with using some lipstick and, for example, a bronzer. It is something that would take 2 minutes of her time.

How about you? Are you keeping yourself fit? Or are you one of those married man that has a beer belly, but likes to complain about his wifes looks?


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

notwhatineed said:


> DayDream,
> 
> I answered your questions look on the first page.


Missed that. Thanks.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Are you in an arranged marriage? My reason for asking is simple. Did you not notice this about your wife before you were married? 

Also, congratulations on all your accomplishments thus far. You seem like a very driven person.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

First off, I'm FAR from a manhater. I have a husband and kids myself, and I've been happily married for 10 years. If my husband told me he would cheat on me for not wearing makeup and doing my hair I would tell him to find the nearest bridge and jump off it. I'm not his employee, maid, caregiver or harlot. I am an individual who should receive the same respect that I give, no if's ands or but's about it.

Secondly... you don't BABYSIT your own kids. You're their parent, just like she is. You're implying that it's a job you can pay someone else to do when you say that. Parenting isn't babysitting, I don't care what country you're from. That's not how you should look at raising your kids with your wife.

Thirdly, if by HER standards she considers you lazy, then you need to evaluate that. You say you do all these things around the house, but then in another breath say you 'babysit' the kids. That's not what she does all day. Taking care of two small children is some tough work that from the looks of it doesn't get too much credit from what I can see from your posts here. 

The thing you don't understand is you can ASK her to do these things for you, but there are 2 problems with that... your approach in asking and then threatening (I'm sure she hasn't just let that cheating comment go) and then her actually mustering up the will to WANT to please you in that way. You can't make her do something she just doesn't want to do. She chooses not to. 

Your marriage as a whole is in trouble. You've completely ignored her telling you she has no love for you and you're still trying to get your own need met in spite of it. You can't expect to get the small things from your marriage if you continue ignoring the bigger things. She's mad at you. Not overtly and obviously, but she's angry and you need to fix that before you go expecting any real sincere changes in HER.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

when you love someone they should not have to be dolled up for you to be attracted to them. 2 toddlers is a full time gig, and not very sexy. maybe you should stop thinking about what you "can" have (cheating) and start being thankful for what you do have. I sure as hell don't know any jlo's that aren't drama queens with huge egos. could be worse.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

Camarillo Brillo said:


> We dated 7 years and have been married over 29 years and I don't think there has been a single day that she did not put on at least a little make up and do something nice with her hair.


To be fair didn't I also read in your other thread that you have a housekeeper among other things that probably free up a lot of your wife's time? It isn't the easiest when you have to take care of two kids, a home and a husband who doesn't help plus makes you feel worse about yourself by suggesting he would cheat on you. You sound like you boost your wife's self esteem where as this guy I think does the opposite which has the opposite effect of what he wants her to do.

I think women should try to look good but if this guy was my husband I think I wouldn't care too much about it either.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I have only scanned a few replies, but I noticed I'm not the only one that thinks you sound like an out-of-touch hypocrite. You think you look fine, but you're quite overweight and stopped taking care of yourself months ago, but want to gripe about your wife doing the same. You aren't wrong for wanting her to take a little care of herself, but you are certainly sounding shallow! This is the woman who cares for your energetic, curious children day in and day out while you're working and buying nice clothes for yourself. And instead of focusing on that, you're going around telling her you could cheat on her. Yeah, that oughtta make her feel like you're a prize catch! 

If you want to bring back the passion and romance, start with two things - taking care of your own appearance and showing appreciation for her. Give her at least five compliments for every one complaint you have.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I totally agree with kathy. The OP already made it clear that he let himself go and only primos up for work... not his wife. He is overweight, on the lazy side and his wife has apparently kept her body in shape but just doesn't do hair or make up. OP if you want your wife to get dolled up for you.... keep yourself primped up for her as well. Your being a big hypocryte ... and hell threatening to cheat is no way to treat your wife nor is it a good way to motivate her. In fact with your attitude... your really shocked that she is no longer attracted to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Does she have bad skin or something? 

Also, how do you know how often she washes her hair? I think your wife is probably a natural beauty with long hair - ties it back because it is easier out of the way with young children.

I haven't read all your replies but did she work outside the home & get all dressed/fixed up before you had children?

I think you want that fixed-up-made-up beauty to greet you when you come home from work & some women do that - June Cleaver types but not your wife.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

fetishwife said:


> Wives will often follow the lead of their man.
> 
> First of all, get yourself back in shape! You are WAY more than 20 pounds overweight for your height....I dont care how muscular you are.....you should be like 165-170....maybe 180 if you are a big boned muscled up guy.
> QUOTE]
> ...


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Also wanted to add that this post is crazy.

You don't love her, she doesn't love you.

What difference does it make how she looks at this point?


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

Sinnister....

you are correct...some guys are big boned muscled up dudes...that is what I meant...

However as a doc I can tell you that in general....210 for 5 10 is a HUGE person and that is a BMI way above normal...

Most 30 year old guys who work regular jobs 9-6 pm 5 days a week are not going to have that level of muscle....

YES except for an athlete such as yourself......

I did NOT get the impression that he was a football player type frame.....

What do you think your idea weight is now with 10% body fat now that you are no longer the football player you were?

Just curious...

But OF COURSE YOU ARE CORRECT....BMI (body mass index) numbers dont apply to the very large male athlete with a lot of "extra" muscle mass and also to the elderly with low muscle mass....

Sorry to be confusing, but I was trying to make a point that this man was probably fooling himself that 190 and 5 10 was "ideal" that he only had to lose 20 pounds.....

190 5 10 is still a very big guy....probably from extra fat.

Ill admit Im the opposite small frame dude but also with low body fat ...maybe 10-15% Im going to get it measured next month...so my BMI is 21....5 foot 7 and 140 pounds. I COULD be 165 I suppose if I was not just toned and defined, but REALLY muscled up. That would put my BMI at overweight to obese but I would actually just be very muscular.

I was 185 5 7 and that was borderline obese 6 years ago......

I bet this guy could lose 40 pounds and not 20...that was my point.

thanks for the correction






sinnister said:


> fetishwife said:
> 
> 
> > Wives will often follow the lead of their man.
> ...


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Don't thank me...I let myself go years ago and am now a fatty over 40 BMI. LOL


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I am a stay at home mom and i don't usually wear makeup unless i am going somewhere (my h says i don't need it anyway) I wear jeans and tee shirts! I do sometimes put make up on even if i am not going anywhere.

Just because she is at home all day, some people think that all the occurs is the mom sitting on her ass all day, That is so far from what goes on. I am lucky if i get to sit down for 5 minutes in an hour. I am constantly moving. Either picking up my sons messes, doing house work, laundry and what have you.

you said your self you are lazy, maybe help her out some and then maybe she will do some of the things you request. My husband is also a lazy ass and I hate lazy people.


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

I only need two more posts to get up to 30!
Op does she ever make herself up to look nice for you?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

If my husband treated me like you treat your wife I'd pack my bags, the children and leave. I would not give you a second chance.

No wonder why she said the things she said, look how you been treating her. Those words hurt pretty badly and she will never forget them. Plus you've gained 20lbs yourself. 

I'm a SAHM. I pretty much wear the same boring clothes everyday. I don't like shopping and I can not go by myself(I need someone to push me in a wheelchair). It's embarrassing since I'm not even 40 yet. I rarely wear makeup, but I honestly don't think I need it. The only thing I changed in looks was my hair. My hubby married me when my hair was short, now it is very long. I take very good care of my hair as I always have. My husband is always telling me I'm beautiful and sexy.

My husband would never cheat on me and as far as I know he doesn't look at other women. He truly focuses his energy on me. My husband would never disrespect me in any way especially talking in that way. He knows I'd probably leave him if he did.

You can not change someone into who you want them to be. That's impossible. People change on their own. If you want her to improve you need to build her up and not bring her down.


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