# Confused



## married.confused (Jun 16, 2011)

I have been married for almost 5 years. We have 2 children, one from a previous relationship and one together. I am writing because I have no clue on what I should do. My husband and I have been arguing over simple things our entire marriage. We never really resolve any of the issues (which I believe is the underlining problem). We kinda just get better for a little bit, then go back to arguing. I love my husband but I am fed up with all the issues. I am sadden with the example that it set for my kids. We tired counseling (separate and together) for a brief moment. Tried getting more involved in church but still here I am considering leaving my husband in hope of happiness without him. I am really confused, and seeing that it is over a week since we have spoken to one another the confusion continues. 

I am writing this to find someone who does not know us to give me some sound advise. Our parents say just tough it out but I am not sure it that is wise.


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## broken1 (May 10, 2011)

married.confused said:


> I have been married for almost 5 years. We have 2 children, one from a previous relationship and one together. I am writing because I have no clue on what I should do. My husband and I have been arguing over simple things our entire marriage. We never really resolve any of the issues (which I believe is the underlining problem). We kinda just get better for a little bit, then go back to arguing. I love my husband but I am fed up with all the issues. I am sadden with the example that it set for my kids. We tired counseling (separate and together) for a brief moment. Tried getting more involved in church but still here I am considering leaving my husband in hope of happiness without him. I am really confused, and seeing that it is over a week since we have spoken to one another the confusion continues.
> 
> I am writing this to find someone who does not know us to give me some sound advise. Our parents say just tough it out but I am not sure it that is wise.


Do u not trust your parents to give sound advice? They know u and your husband better that we do... Or maybe your looking for a particular answer that justifies what you already have in your heart to do...

I am so sick of everybody saying "don't I deserve to be happy?" YES you DO! So figure out how to be happy with your life and stop expecting your husband to do it!!! That's your first mistake! I've never heard a marriage vow or bible verse that said ANYTHING about "I promise to make you happy till death do us part." If you married because you thought it would make you happy then you need to grow up (more on growing up to come). You're a wife and a mom. Act like it. And if you guys seem to have the same petty arguments over and over then your probably both focusing too much on stupid things that don't matter. Your kids are the only ones who should be dependant on someone else to make them happy. That's you. So give them the whole family they need.

Your underlying problem is NOT the simple arguments. Its the fact that you are both too immature to avoid them. You're like two little kids fighting over the same toy. And when one of you doesn't get your way you throw a fit... Am I close? If you're honest with yourself I'm guessing you'll agree. 

So, in summary... You and your husband need to grow up and act like a MAN and WOMAN, find your OWN inner happiness in life (stop expecting your spouse to provide happiness), and focus on making the kids and eachother a priority. Selfishness and immaturity DO NOT work well in marriages. 

Not usually this abrasive. U caught me in a pretty bad mood. Sorry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theword_love (May 31, 2011)

I hope you will both read "men are from mars, women are from venus."
I seriously think it will help you if you both read it.

My problem is my husband wont follow through and read the thing... There is a chapter on "love letters" that I think would be PERFECT for you guys. You can probably get two copies cheap on amazon. Go now!


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