# "Survive Her Affair" by Kevin Jackson



## louhazosc (Dec 3, 2012)

Hey guys,
New here and by my thread title I don't think its a secret why.
Overall doing pretty well and if you need to know - it was a one night drunken thing that the wife has shown an incredible amount of regret and sorrow over and has done everything right to make amends. We're doin OK.
With that being said, I was wondering if anyone has read Kevin Jackson's book "Surviving her Affair". Its a tough pill to swallow because its $47 but it grabs me because when it asks questions like "Do you have thoughts of the affair going through your mind and negative thoughts and want to learn how to get rid of thinking of your wife with another man right away?"
Hell yes I do!!!
So I am just being naive and he's playing on that for a quick buck since he knows we'll do anything to make these thoughts go away or did anyone read it and it had good info that can be put into effect?
Thanks all.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

louhazosc said:


> Hey guys,
> New here and by my thread title I don't think its a secret why.
> Overall doing pretty well and if you need to know - it was a one night drunken thing that the wife has shown an incredible amount of regret and sorrow over and has done everything right to make amends. We're doin OK.
> With that being said, I was wondering if anyone has read Kevin Jackson's book "Surviving her Affair". Its a tough pill to swallow because its $47 but it grabs me because when it asks questions like "Do you have thoughts of the affair going through your mind and negative thoughts and want to learn how to get rid of thinking of your wife with another man right away?"
> ...


Couldn't find it on Amazon, so it's probably self-published. And that is very costly on short runs printing. Hence higher prices.


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## jameskimp (May 8, 2012)

Don't waste your money.

The only thing that will heal you is time and holding your wife accountable and making her win you back. 

Even after that, you will always have triggers that you will have to face and decide if you want to live with. Don't look for a quick fix because there is none.


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## louhazosc (Dec 3, 2012)

I agree.
I figure it was like I said.."Just read page 144 and you will no longer have thoughts of your wife with another guy"
Yeah, right. I might as well order those pills to make me jacked and ripped without exercise while I'm at it.
I've been doing the therapy thing just to get stuff off my chest and talking to the wife a lot and have her understand exactly what its like for me.
Thanks.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

The only way you will never have thoughts of your wife with another man, after this horrible choice of hers, is if you lobotamize yourself. 

The degree and frequency to which it happens is what changes.


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## KrushedDad (Nov 6, 2012)

I bought his e-book and honestly can tell you...DONT BOTHER! I have recieved more help just from lurking these forums than anything else, and once you buy it, he tries to sell you a ton of other crap that he says will really help speed up the healing even more....even though he advertises his ebook as the best tool out there to do exactly that. He also is just a regular guy and really just throws out different ideas, TAM is a far better resource and you wont find any information in that overpriced ebook that you wont find here. Just MHO
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## secondchance72 (Jul 16, 2013)

Hi Krushed Dad,

This is Kevin Jackson, and I'm SO sorry my e-book wasn't for you. But I am happy you found the help you needed in this wonderful forum - I agree, this forum is definitely a treasure trove of useful info...

And yes, I do offer other products in additional to my ebook that have helped many people heal even faster. I work hard to make sure all the info I share is profoundly helpful to most people. And I've been fortunate enough to have received several hundred testimonials from people praising the book - saying it either helped heal their emotional trauma or aided in the process of healing their marriage.

Again, I'm so sorry the book didn't work for you personally - I hope you asked for a refund!  - but I wouldn't want your review to stop others from getting my advice that may actually do some good in their situation... and has already helped hundreds of others.

All the best and good luck,
Kevin Jackson


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

I've not read it. Another TAM member i respect tons did and recommend it. He even has the link at his signature.


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## Rayzzz (Dec 20, 2013)

So I am just wondering did Kevin Jackson recover his marriage or did he end up "surviving the affair " in a divorce. Anyone ?


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Mr jackson, was worried someone might not buy his book, because of this thread. That tells you everything. Just like harley these guys peddle co-dependency and teach you how to be a doormat.

Recovering your marriage at the cost of your self respect is not worth it.

Taking back a cheater while keeping your self resoect is the only way to go.

Oh, and i did read the book.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

The only thing that will lessen the pain of triggering is TIME.

Work on yourself and try and stay as active as you can.

Once those painful triggers become less and less intense and are more
reflective, dull pains... you'll know you're healing.

That being said, the pain will never fully go away. 

Never.

The answer isn't inside of a $80 book..... it's inside of your heart.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

I found the book very helpful the weeks right after dday when I was still in shock, thought it was worth the $. Just reading about others experiences was helpful to not feel alone. He framed some things nicely and helped calm the part of me that wanted to rage. The knowledge is in the books.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I read it and I'm still divorcing my WW. 

No book is going to make it possible for you to successfully R. If it's in you, it's in you. If not....well, there you have it.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

I got some bad advice right after dday, people said 'you shouldn't read so much' as if sticking your head in the sand was the better option. I also got great advice, from a person here that also directed me to that book. At the time it made me feel a little better and that was huge for me. The surviving part isn't about saving the m, it's about saving your sanity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I did not read the book so can't comment on this particular one. However I have read a few and found take aways that helped me from books and this site.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Get your wife to sign an agreement stating, if she ever cheats again, she gets nothing and only the clothes on her back. If she signs it, you know she'll be fine. If she doesn't....you have your answer.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Get your wife to sign an agreement stating, if she ever cheats again, she gets nothing and only the clothes on her back. If she signs it, you know she'll be fine. If she doesn't....you have your answer.


Or she agrees to sign it then continues to cheat and he never finds out.

There's the rub with "R".


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

cantthinkstraight said:


> The only thing that will lessen the pain of triggering is TIME.


Well there is one other thing that can lessen the pain, if not eliminate it, and that is getting rid of the source of the triggers....the cheating spouse.

Worked for me.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

vellocet said:


> Well there is one other thing that can lessen the pain, if not eliminate it, and that is getting rid of the source of the triggers....the cheating spouse.
> 
> Worked for me.


I somewhat agree with this. Once I kicked my exww out, the thoughts in 
my head settled down quite a bit. No longer would I have to see her bend
over and think of what happened. No longer did I watch her do something
and ask myself if she did the same for the OM. It does help not to have
a living, breathing reminder walking around the house with you.

That being said, I still have them (triggers) from time to time but they are
*far* less frequent and *far* less painful than even a year ago.


I still have issues with seeing porn or movies that involve cheating.
When I visit certain websites, it's like I'm expecting to see a video of
her somewhere. Can't explain why... but I do.

I think that's the point though... that they'll never fully go away. 
Just ease with time.

Oddly enough, when I have to see her (picking up my kids), the only thing
inside me that triggers is my impulse to throw up - out of disgust.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

cantthinkstraight said:


> I somewhat agree with this. Once I kicked my exww out, the thoughts in
> my head settled down quite a bit. No longer would I have to see her bend
> over and think of what happened. No longer did I watch her do something
> and ask myself if she did the same for the OM. It does help not to have
> a living, breathing reminder walking around the house with you.


Exactly. Not saying I might not think about what she did from time to time, but the difference is if I'd have stayed with her, the memories and visions would hurt. Because I'm not with her, they do not. I actually laugh about it now and her stupidity.




> I still have issues with seeing porn or movies that involve cheating.


Oh I understand. If I watch a movie and someone is cheating, I wish bad things to happen to the cheater in the movie


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Only time heals everything else is jibber jabber. There is no magic technique, thought, or process that suddenly makes the thoughts go away, but like EVERY other traumatic event time works it's magic at it's own pace.

If you have experienced death you know this very well already. Good luck!!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

OhGeesh said:


> Only time heals everything else is jibber jabber.


I can tell you from experience, that isn't always true.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

OhGeesh said:


> *Only time heals everything else is jibber jabber. *There is no magic technique, thought, or process that suddenly makes the thoughts go away, but like EVERY other traumatic event time works it's magic at it's own pace.
> 
> If you have experienced death you know this very well already. Good luck!!


.....can someone give me an estimate on this 'time' thing of which you speak? It's been 18 yrs since my wife's ONS .....and I still hurt. 

.....maybe time needs to be paired with a truly remorseful spouse? That combo ...well, I'm still waiting for it to arrive.....


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## javawave (Apr 7, 2013)

jameskimp said:


> Don't waste your money.
> 
> The only thing that will heal you is time and holding your wife accountable and making her win you back.
> 
> Even after that, you will always have triggers that you will have to face and decide if you want to live with. Don't look for a quick fix because there is none.


having spent the money on the book, I agree. Nothing you wont find here for free, and there is no quick fix.... if there is a fix at all.


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

I haven't read the book, but I did like Mr. Jackson's responsebto this thread. It gave me a good feeling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

vellocet said:


> I can tell you from experience, that isn't always true.


You have to help time. You cannot sit around with self pity. You must engage others. And if you are still with the cheater, then leave. If you have not healed yet, you should have divorced.

Either way you must choose to not let it define you.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> .....can someone give me an estimate on this 'time' thing of which you speak? It's been 18 yrs since my wife's ONS .....and I still hurt.
> 
> .....maybe time needs to be paired with a truly remorseful spouse? That combo ...well, I'm still waiting for it to arrive.....


Did u divorce? If not. You clearly should have. You could be healed and with a new partner. And if she was not sorry years ago, she never will be.

Waste your life if u want. Bu theres no one else to blame. Not even your wife. She chose to cheat. You chose to stay. And you can still choose to leave.


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## johnAdams (May 22, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> .....can someone give me an estimate on this 'time' thing of which you speak? It's been 18 yrs since my wife's ONS .....and I still hurt.
> 
> .....maybe time needs to be paired with a truly remorseful spouse? That combo ...well, I'm still waiting for it to arrive.....



30 years. It took me 30 years to come to terms with my wife's ONS. Hopefully it will not take you 12 more years.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

I think everyone her could write short stories on how to survive an affair. From all the the tragedies I have read, you could publish this forum as is with a few adverbs, adjectives, pronouns and so on, to help people. I have not read the the book, but that doesn't mean that the book wouldn't help. Maybe his story is far worse than what someone else is going through, which may or may not make the hurt sting less. Myself, coming here has been far more helpful than any counseling could provide, because for the most part involves real people (trolls aside), with real problems.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Just buy _Not Just Friends_. There's no better title out there at the moment.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

I dont know anyone who did not heal quicker after divorce.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

illwill said:


> You have to help time. You cannot sit around with self pity. You must engage others. And if you are still with the cheater, then leave. If you have not healed yet, you should have divorced.
> 
> Either way you must choose to not let it define you.


No, I meant time isn't the only thing that can help. Getting rid of the cheater rendered triggers non-existent for me.


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