# Is this depression?



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I can't be motivated to do anything for myself.

I eat too much fast food. I know it isn't good for me, but I don't care. 

I know I should exercise, but I am lazy and don't feel like doing it.

I still go to work. I still do things for clients and get my work done. I am doing this for other people. But I can't be motivated to do anything for myself.

I know that I would live longer if I eat properly and exercise more. I know that to be true. But I don't really care. In the back of my mind, I am thinking that dieing sooner might be best. I am not very happy and I don't really want to live past getting my kids grown up and off on their own. 

I have never seriously thought of committing suicide. Just don't want to put a lot of effort into prolonging my life.

Does this ring true for anyone else? 

Is this just the way I am or is it because I am suffering from depression?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It does sound a lot like depression. Not wanting to take care of yourself and not having motivation are two of the main symptoms I have with depression. I get to where I do not care about anything... but I myself become the very last thing on the list.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

You've heard of comfort food, right? I eat when I'm stressed. After a complete evaluation by a psychologist, he said my eating was the result of self-esteem, stress, and depression. There are no set signs of depression. People can react differently when depressed. You may benefit from a complete evaluation.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I'd hesitate to say it's depression and here is why.
You do things for other people, and seem motivated enough for that.
Somewhere along the line I think someone gave you a message that you weren't worth doing for. Maybe your ideas or desires were subjugated or ridiculed. If it was a caregiver/parent then it is natural survival emotionally and physically to identify with how they behave, even if it means doing this to yourself. I think with therapy you can find out why you will go the distance for others but not for yourself. In the meantime, try to do very small 5-minute things for yourself. Maybe find a diner or a cafe that has 'fast' food that has a better view and is slightly more healthy, even more emotionally healthy, than fast food. Park a few more spots away from where you usually do, and just walk a little bit further. When you have some kind of small idea or observation on something beautiful or intriguing, like a song or a certain plant or the sunrise, share it with someone and figure out who will value your opinion. If you can start paying attention to how you are valued for yourself - and not for your work or your income-earning in terms of providing a roof over your kids' heads...then you'll value yourself more. By limiting your sharing to something you're getting paid for, or some kind of service, you are cutting yourself off from being valued just for being you. Pay attention to what makes you feel good, even in a small way...and find a way to do just a tiny little bit more of that each day. Do you like sharp pencils? Then sit down and spend 10 minutes sharpening pencils for the person who likes sharp pencils. Trust me, you won't become a narcissist from doing this...when you are in touch with yourself and empathetic to yourself, you can be of even more value to others. Your relationships will change and when that happens, you will feel more engaged and think less of your life ending. You won't be in any great hurry to have it happen, nor will you feel desperate about squeezing it all in, or prolonging it for more experience. You'll feel normal, but it will be abnormal. Sadly, what you are feeling now is all too normal, experience-wise. To change how you are feeling, you are going to need to roll up your sleeves, but if you are brave enough to do it, you're a rare breed. If you are going to die, you might as well go for broke and try something new and completely different. Death comes in many flavors, and *metaphorically*, the way you are now does need to die, just not in the way you're doing it. The ace of spades can be your card up your sleeve, as a change agent, not the grim reaper as many people see it.


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

I would at the very least talk to your GP and do one of those screening tests. Your doctor can probably give you a yes no answer better then random internet chatter 

Hang in there. If it is depression there are good treatments out there that really help. Exercise (btw) helps fight some forms of depression. I think having a physical outlit is key to better health in many ways.

Life is short enough. Seriously - see your doctor - do a yearly physical - take the doctors advise. & repeat


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Sam, I am just like that too. When I bottomed out after coming out of survival mode from my W's affairs and separation, my general disthymia definitely went into depression territory. I've gotten out of that really bad low, back into general disthymia. Some days it feels like the only thing I am motivated to do is read this forum. However I have gotten all kind of stuff done and accomplished, it just doesn't satisfy me like I think is should.

I am avoiding pharmaceuticals, even if I know they can boost me up to get myself out of this spot, but after reading up on the mens forum I am realizing so many of my depression like symptoms correspond with the symptoms of low testosterone. Maybe HRT is in your future?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Yes...those things are a sign of depression. I am not hearing major depression but there are other types, such as dysthmyia, as mentioned. 

Look up depression, on the internet and find out ways others cope with depression naturally (exercise, diet, medication, music, serving others, counseling etc. If that doesn't work, then ask for help.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I am so depressed and somewhat like you. I get up and take care of others (kids and husband) but barely even want to do anything for my self. Not caring if you die early and once the kids are grown......don't be fooling your self. You are not doing ok even if it is mild depression or sessional whatever there is something wrong.

If you are hear wondering then you know you are not ok inside. Most people who are depressed don't have suicidal thoughts it is not a requirement but it can lead up to that if you keep letting it go on.

Talk to your doctor it is a good place to start it is where I am headed in a few days and I know I am depressed and very much deep in it.

Please get some help even if you don't want to.


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

Lon said:


> Sam, I am just like that too. When I bottomed out after coming out of survival mode from my W's affairs and separation, my general disthymia definitely went into depression territory. I've gotten out of that really bad low, back into general disthymia. Some days it feels like the only thing I am motivated to do is read this forum. However I have gotten all kind of stuff done and accomplished, it just doesn't satisfy me like I think is should.
> 
> I am avoiding pharmaceuticals, even if I know they can boost me up to get myself out of this spot, but after reading up on the mens forum I am realizing so many of my depression like symptoms correspond with the symptoms of low testosterone. Maybe HRT is in your future?


Low Testosterone can give you symptoms that look like depression but its also possible to have both. If your feeling depressed get all that checked out. Thyroid can also cause this btw.

I was pretty freaked out about meds for depression but a couple of points that were made to me. They won't change who you are. Depression, ADHD etc are all now things that doctors can observe with the proper MRIs etc. Thus its a "real" issue. Not a sign of weak character or whatever. Depression meds are non addictive (At least the ones I've been on) and can help you function.

If I can make one last point. I was spending all my free time reading books about infidelity, marriage issues, blah blah blah. My TDoc said to quit doing this for a while and go do things that I enjoyed. Like reading a book not about this topic. Using all your energy to focus on the bad things in life is rarely a good thing.

Good Luck!


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