# Losing interest in sex? Can it be fixed?



## Neeko (Apr 4, 2009)

Hello all,
I'm new to this forum and this is my first post. I'm just trying to think of ways to up my libido. I'm 29 and a new mom and I just feel i'm too young to not be interested in sex anymore. It's not that I don't enjoy it. Most times, I eventually get into it and i'm satisfied. It's the whole just thinking about it makes me feel it's a chore. And somedays I just don't want him to touch me. Maybe if he did something to annoy me, I don't know. I know I'm exhausted from a busy day most days, taking care of my 13 month old all day and working all night. When I finally get home I just want to relax. My husband gets mad and says I never want to just cuddle or I never try to initiate sex and after I think about it I know he's right. I don't mean to do this. I am still very attracted to him and he has no problem pleasing me. It's just sometimes it's like forcing myself to go out and run a mile or something. I don't want to be this way. I used to be a very sexual person. We had a rough patch a few years ago and I would catch my then fiancee looking at porn while I was away or asleep. Eventually, I tried to get him to watch it with me instead of watching it alone. I guess it just wasn't the same for him. I think that hurt my self esteem and maybe made me more self conscious about myself. And I was already self conscious to begin with. I'm willing to try different things to spice things up, but i'm not even sure how to talk to him about it. We are so close like best friends I just feel it would be an awkward conversation. I just remember when I could just have sex and desire the person I was having sex with and not want to keep my hands off him. Now I often find myself fantasizing about other sexual situations than the one I would currently be having just to get myself really into it and turned on. And I know that's normal too, but I just want to not have to do that so often. Any suggestions?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

my suggestion - do what hes asking you to do to make the re-connection, or u might lose what u have forever.
just get over this fear of initiation.. just do it . cuddle and hold him.
if hes doing dishes , simple things. grab him and make him feel wanted.
my marriage is going down the pan for this reason and i have now asked my H for a separation.
because for me amongst other issues, he just couldnt do what i asked for sexually. we lost the whole package and for me sex is about giving and taking. 
i have tried for a yr to salvage our marriage and im to tired of trying.
dont go the same way or you wil lose him.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

If you are taking care of a child all day, and then working all night, I cant imagine anyone being in the mood after that. Lately ive been really busy, too, and its hard for me to get in the mood. I think you should take some time to yourself and go to the spa and pamper yourself, if you can. maybe join a gym that has childcare.


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