# Dealing with feelings of rejection?



## TemperToo (Apr 23, 2011)

Can someone please tell me how?

We've been separated 4 months (3 in house, 1 fully separate.) I still feel rejected and hurt by him. He doesn't call often at all to talk to the kids, and hasn't seen them in that entire month he's been gone. He will see them next week, but that was initiated by me. 

He's told me that he "doesn't think it's going to work." I get that, I'm ok with that......it hurts like hell, but I think it's for the best.

But I still feel so rejected. I WANT to feel loved. I know it isn't going to happen any time soon from anyone else (because I am NOT looking for a relationship right now) and obviously it isn't going to happen from him. So I'm basically left feeling terribly lonely.

I feel like that's so pathetic and weak. And that just worsens the problem. I am seeing a counselor, and I am working on myself. It is coming.....I can see improvements. But I still have bad days. Like today. I throw myself pity parties, and I hate it.

What can I do to make them stop? I'm so tired of feeling like this. And although they are coming less and less, the feeling still hurt just as bad. I'm afraid I'm falling into a depression and I am so scared of that....


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

It might seem contradictory, especially since you have kids it might be difficult, but you could try an in-person volunteer job... even if you don't get paid in dollars, you will get paid in grateful smiles and feel less rejected by being truly appreciated. 

This evening I got to thank my coworkers at the theater because I can go to see films by myself and get the red carpet treatment, I am among friends and at home there. I told them it definitely removes the revulsion/bite of seeing movies alone, on a Saturday night. I am so much more relaxed even after the horror of being cheated on and abused (double rejection) and then abused again after a reconciliation I had to take a deep breath and a leap of faith to effect (another rejection, or two, or three, depending what you count). You would think I'd be ego-battered by now but I have given out so many smiles and got so many in return by volunteering over the past year (theater, ski club, kids school, civic organization) that it's just not possible. Barbara Bush got it right, when you are down in the dumps and wanting reassurance, give it to someone else, and the world will return it to you in multiples.


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## MyTwoGirls (May 31, 2011)

Those seem like good ideas to break the pity on oneself..I find those coming on strong lately since my divorce..I thought it'd get easier and it does on soem days but there are days that are really crappy..Just keep the positive frame of mind and hope for the best or better yet go out and seek it.


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

Clean house. Remove all items that remind you of him, replace them w/ things that make you happy. It'll keep you busy and make you feel good about you!! 
Mouse


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Smackdown said:


> Clean house. Remove all items that remind you of him, replace them w/ things that make you happy. It'll keep you busy and make you feel good about you!!
> Mouse


I'm so extreme. Moved house instead of cleaned house. Leaving all the stuff that is 'soiled'. Traveling light.


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