# Sex Dating Websites



## fenrizzy (Apr 25, 2013)

I have been married for 25 years with 2 grown children. Over the past year I have caught my husband on sex/hook up dating websites. The first time I was devastated. He left his phone sitting on the kitchen counter when it started to chime with a message. Thinking nothing of it I checked. To my surprise I read a message between he and another woman on the site. After digging deeper I found that he had been a paid member of the site for months. I found his passwords and read sex messages between he and countless numbers of women. He said things to them he has never said to me before. How beautiful they were...What great bodies they had...What he wanted to do to them...ect. 


My husband and I have always had a fairly decent sex life. He never went without and I was always ready willing and able to please. There have been days that we would actually do 2 sometimes 3 times a day when the house was empty. I am fairly attractive and have a decent body for my age. I work out and stay active. So was pretty
blown away by all of this. He has always had an eye for sexy women and I never really thought much of it. 

Upset and pretty distraught I confronted him. He pretty much assured me that there was nothing going on and he was only there to have fun and look. He promised me he would delete the profile...which I might add told everything about himself right down to his job and hobbies and was embelished with photos of himself.
I decided to forgive and even started sending him sexy photos of myself and dirty text messages thinking that maybe I should spice things up and that maybe this would keep him pointed in the right direction.I have always kept tabs on his emails (I have the passwords) and internet phone usage (he never uses the computer). I have seen alot of smut mail and know he searches porn but nothing that waved any red flags....until now...a year later.

He went away on a trip with a group he belongs to. His login to his email was on my laptop as I had been trying to help him email photos. The next morning when I turned on the laptop and noticed he was still logged on I check his emails and low and behold he had renewed his membership! 

I am completely torn apart by this! I have so many mixed emotions! Help!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Sex dating sites are a good place for heterosexual men to meet women who are really just other men who in some cases, have had their plumbing altered.
Wouldn't consider using them, myself.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I used those sex "dating" sites both to find an affair partner and my current GF. Never had a problem with guys pretending to be girls. 

To the OP... If your husband isn't willing to put in some really hard work, your marriage may be in big trouble (obviously). Maybe start by handing him a "dumb phone" as a start... Take away his tools. Counseling may be another mandatory item, as well as exposure. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Dogs chase cars but it doesn't mean they can drive.


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## fenrizzy (Apr 25, 2013)

Lol...I call it his smut phone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Sites like AFF are full of a lot of fake profiles created by the company to keep men interested. Also a lot of the women post fake pictures of themselves that they find online. 
However there are real women on them. Im sorry he is doing this. Does he look at porn?


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Usually the reason people go to these sites is to meet and hookup with someone. A person who is willing to fork out the money for a member ship is looking for more then to "chase cars"


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Those sites are there for married people to "hook up" with no strings attached. At least that is what I saw while researching some of my estranged husband's behavior. Your husband paid a membership fee, so he isn't so innocent.

If you want definite proof, enlist a female friend's help. Obviously it should be someone your husband doesn't know. Make a profile and enjoy snaring him. That's what I did. It didn't take long to see my lying estranged husband's true intent.


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## fenrizzy (Apr 25, 2013)

827Aug said:


> Those sites are there for married people to "hook up" with no strings attached. At least that is what I saw while researching some of my estranged husband's behavior. Your husband paid a membership fee, so he isn't so innocent.
> 
> If you want definite proof, enlist a female friend's help. Obviously it should be someone your husband doesn't know. Make a profile and enjoy snaring him. That's what I did. It didn't take long to see my lying estranged husband's true intent.


I did that...not only did he take the bait he was ready and willing to hook up!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

fenrizzy said:


> I did that...not only did he take the bait he was ready and willing to hook up!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then you already know that your husband is quite willing to have nsa sex with random women. Chances are very good that he's been serial cheating for years. I highly recommend a full STD panel for you.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Please read my story (link in my signature). I caught my husband doing the same thing back in 2010.

You need to go stealth and find out exactly what he's up to. Put a keylogger on his computer. He may very well have already met with people for sex, in which case you could have an STD. Get tested. Have a look at his credit card and bank statements.

Once you have incontrovertible proof, THEN confront him. Otherwise he's going to continue to lie. They will only admit to what they think you already know, never more.

You also need to have your demands ready when you confront him. Do you want to stay married? If so, there are a number of things he MUST do. The newbie link in my signature has more info on that.

When I found out I kicked my husband out. I was done. but today we're reconciling. So it is possible, but only if your husband does a helluva lot of hard work.


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## fenrizzy (Apr 25, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Please read my story (link in my signature). I caught my husband doing the same thing back in 2010.
> 
> You need to go stealth and find out exactly what he's up to. Put a keylogger on his computer. He may very well have already met with people for sex, in which case you could have an STD. Get tested. Have a look at his credit card and bank statements.
> 
> ...


Thank you...I am so relieved to know I am not the only going through this.


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## DiverGal (Apr 1, 2013)

I caught my ex husband on those sites several times - everytime he'd get mad at me and claim they were "spam" emails. I finally hacked into one of the profiles and he had all this stuff about how he needed a REAL woman in bed because his wife (me) was too boring. I confronted him and he came up with yet another excuse, never ever admitting that it was him. He even went as far as to say someone had a vendetta towards him and probably created that account to get him in trouble with me. Yea right. 

I distinctly remember finding yet another profile he had created and confronted him about it one night, and he got mad and threatened to "bash my face in" with a ceramic bowl he'd been eating out of at the time if I didn't stop harassing him. I told him to get out and he cornered me and threatened to kill me. My son, who was 11 at the time, heard this from his room. I calmly told him to get the F out of the house and never come back before I called the cops and he ended up in jail. That was the end of our marriage.


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## fenrizzy (Apr 25, 2013)

DiverGal said:


> I caught my ex husband on those sites several times - everytime he'd get mad at me and claim they were "spam" emails. I finally hacked into one of the profiles and he had all this stuff about how he needed a REAL woman in bed because his wife (me) was too boring. I confronted him and he came up with yet another excuse, never ever admitting that it was him. He even went as far as to say someone had a vendetta towards him and probably created that account to get him in trouble with me. Yea right.
> 
> I distinctly remember finding yet another profile he had created and confronted him about it one night, and he got mad and threatened to "bash my face in" with a ceramic bowl he'd been eating out of at the time if I didn't stop harassing him. I told him to get out and he cornered me and threatened to kill me. My son, who was 11 at the time, heard this from his room. I calmly told him to get the F out of the house and never come back before I called the cops and he ended up in jail. That was the end of our marriage.


OMG so sorry! Mine did the same thing...got angry...blamed on spam..then had the nerve to tell me he was trying to show one of his friends something on the site! Talk about disrespect! If that is the truth (which I know is not) how could he disrespect me by showing his "friend" stuff on the site....especially since the friend knows us both! 

If anything good comes out of all this at least we can say we are smarter and wiser!


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

My EX-husband liked those sites. I caught him. Over and over and over and over...it did lead to adultery. No man who is committed to his wife has ANY business on dating sites. I'm sorry you're going through this. It has nothing to do with you, how you look, how good you are in bed...this is a character issue. On his part. This is not a reflection on you. Remember that.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea. Divorce papers would be in his hand.


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