# Would like to watch.....



## JamesDoe (Oct 7, 2014)

My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a very very good relationship. We get along great, great sex life, etc. 
We are both still fairly young (mid thirties) and fit. I have always had a fantasy about watching her have sex with someone else? I don't know why....I just do. We talked about it abit but never really to serious. I would like to hear from other women if this is something you would ever do or not. Thanks.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

fantasy is almost always best left as a fantasy when bringing third parties into the marriage is involved


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

You are about the second or third guy in last few weeks here to posit such a fantasy, so I guess it's not so uncommon.

I remember when my ex was cybercheating on me (and maybe more), I did fantasize about her doing it with another guy because she was supposedly asexual. It did turn me on a bit.

But, yeh. Better leave it to fantasy. You DON'T want to go there......


----------



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

As a male I can relate to this...I'd quite like to see my wife being shafted by another man and enjoying it....because atleast then it would tell me that she IS interested in sex just not with me. 

But on a more serious note...I think turning fantasies such as this into realities does more harm than good....and are probably best left in our imagination!


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

JamesDoe said:


> My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a very very good relationship. We get along great, great sex life, etc.
> We are both still fairly young (mid thirties) and fit. I have always had a fantasy about watching her have sex with someone else? I don't know why....I just do. We talked about it abit but never really to serious. I would like to hear from other women if this is something you would ever do or not. Thanks.


Absolutely! We just haven't been able to get George Clooney's schedule to open up what with his recent marriage and all.

Kidding aside, you're playing with fire here. This can't be undone once done.


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Yeah, it's apparently fairly common, but here's the way I look at it, and it's pretty uncharitable:

Basically, what we're talking about if this should become reality is demoting your wife to a sex performer in live porn so that you can get your jollies, even if you try to mask that with the rationalization that "it's for her, too".

I have difficulty imagining an act more disrespectful of your wife as a human being and of your marriage.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Comes down to this. If you would enjoy watching her have sex with another man then you can also enjoy watching your marriage hit the skids.

A fantasy is just that. It's in your head and you control every aspect of it so nothing goes wrong and everyone lives happily ever after. That's why it's called a fantasy.

But when you make a fantasy reality, you now have to contend with Murphy's Law and in most cases Murph wins, you lose and the marriage goes in the tank.


----------



## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Leave it a fantasy. What if she enjoys it too much? Will that make you feel good about yourself? You will start second guessing yourself and your relationship. This is man thing, I have never seen a women post how she wants to watch her husband have sex with another women. Just thinking of my husband with another women make me feel sick not turned on.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

askari said:


> As a male I can relate to this...I'd quite like to see my wife being shafted by another man and enjoying it....because atleast then it would tell me that she IS interested in sex just not with me.
> 
> But on a more serious note...I think turning fantasies such as this into realities does more harm than good....and are probably best left in our imagination!


And seeing that it should be easier to move on, let her deal with folks that she wants to and you find someone to appreciate you.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I don't think this fantasy is uncommon. I've surely fantasized about sex with other men. However doing/thinking not the same on any level. Very few people (and we do have some members here) can actually manage a swinging lifestyle/open marriage successfully. 

This can backfire. Either by you feeling unexpected jealousy/betrayal or her liking it a heck of a lot more than you did and wanting it to continue.

I say talk about it, explore it with your spouse. Maybe even role play about it... dress up? Maybe disguise yourself before sex, video tape it (with her knowledge/consent of course). Wait a while so it's not as fresh in your mind and then watch the tape. 

Not the same of course but surely a safer option than doing something potentially damaging and irreversible to your marriage.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

OP, keep your fantisies to yourself.

For MANY reasons:
Reason #1 - STD (go ahead and pull up a list of STDs and read thru it all)......YEAH

Reason #2 - you do NOT know how your wife will feel once intimate with another man (uncontrollable feelings). Dangerous/risky.

Reason #3 - he can be rather large.......

I can go on and on.......point is, you have a great marriage, don't ruin it with your fantasy. Risk is HIGH (for both STD and divorce).

PS. Your thoughts are completely natural and normal. Many men here will admit to that, including myself.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Miss Taken said:


> Maybe disguise yourself before sex, video tape it (with her knowledge/consent of course). Wait a while so it's not as fresh in your mind and then watch the tape.


and then take the footage to Industrial light and Magic and have them use CGI to put someone else in

(just make sure you insist that it's not JarJar Binks)


----------



## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Do you have kids? If yes, then you're an idiot to do it. You're taking a gigantic gamble on your marriage if you do this. 

Your wife's respect for you as a man will plummit, even if she wants to do it. A man doesn't let others fook his wife. And as someone said earlier, once done, it can't be undone.


----------



## White.Rabbit (Feb 24, 2014)

Your relationship needs to be ROCK SOLID before you even consider going down this route and it HAS to be her fantasy as well as yours. I was in a failing marriage when the now estranged Mr Rabbit, who wasn't meeting my needs, confessed to some kind of cuckold fantasy and suggested letting me off the lead. The trouble was I realised what I'd been missing out on and I've re-partnered since. Ask yourself how would you feel if she formed an emotional attachment and decided she would be better off elsewhere?


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> and then take the footage to Industrial light and Magic and have them use CGI to put someone else in
> 
> (just make sure you insist that it's not JarJar Binks)


I was thinking cosplay or even a furry costume.... lol

Just kidding!


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

GTdad said:


> Yeah, it's apparently fairly common, but here's the way I look at it, and it's pretty uncharitable:
> 
> Basically, what we're talking about if this should become reality is demoting your wife to a sex performer in live porn so that you can get your jollies, even if you try to mask that with the rationalization that "it's for her, too".
> 
> I have difficulty imagining an act more disrespectful of your wife as a human being and of your marriage.


I think GTdad is dead on in his opinion on the matter.


----------



## JamesDoe (Oct 7, 2014)

Thanks for the replies. I guess everyone has a different outlook on things. I would never for a second push anyone to do anything they were uncomfortable with. She once told me about having sex with another guy and it was an ultimate turn on. It's not something that comes up often. 
I'm more interested in what other women's reactions would be.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> Thanks for the replies. I guess everyone has a different outlook on things.


Not in this thread. The majority say it is a bad idea.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

JamesDoe said:


> I'm more interested in what other women's reactions would be.



You got quite a few already



Anon Pink said:


> Absolutely! We just haven't been able to get George Clooney's schedule to open up what with his recent marriage and all.
> 
> Kidding aside, you're playing with fire here. This can't be undone once done.





Happilymarried25 said:


> Leave it a fantasy. What if she enjoys it too much? Will that make you feel good about yourself? You will start second guessing yourself and your relationship. This is man thing, I have never seen a women post how she wants to watch her husband have sex with another women. Just thinking of my husband with another women make me feel sick not turned on.





Miss Taken said:


> I don't think this fantasy is uncommon. I've surely fantasized about sex with other men. However doing/thinking not the same on any level. Very few people (and we do have some members here) can actually manage a swinging lifestyle/open marriage successfully.
> 
> This can backfire. Either by you feeling unexpected jealousy/betrayal or her liking it a heck of a lot more than you did and wanting it to continue.
> 
> ...





White.Rabbit said:


> Your relationship needs to be ROCK SOLID before you even consider going down this route and it HAS to be her fantasy as well as yours. I was in a failing marriage when the now estranged Mr Rabbit, who wasn't meeting my needs, confessed to some kind of cuckold fantasy and suggested letting me off the lead. The trouble was I realised what I'd been missing out on and I've re-partnered since. Ask yourself how would you feel if she formed an emotional attachment and decided she would be better off elsewhere?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I think it comes up a lot on forums but I really wonder how common this fantasy is?

Maybe the majority of men just don't post about not having it?

It would be a nightmare for me to see Mrs. Conan with another man. It would be a nightmare FOR the other man!:FIREdevil::FIREdevil::FIREdevil:


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> I think it comes up a lot on forums but I really wonder how common this fantasy is?
> 
> Maybe the majority of men just don't post about not having it?


I think you're dead on with that. The men against it just don't post. I certainly don't understand the fascination with doing that. Not at all. 

I suspect it's maybe a 5% or 10% kind of thing, but with 300 million english speaking men, that's still 15 to 30 million dudes who are interested in this.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

crazy.


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I also wonder if most of the men who are into this are deeply repressed bi? They are turned on by other men in a sexual situation and this is a good way to do it.

I'm so straight that the only porn I like to watch is solo women or lesbian. Anything else just doesn't excite me.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

GTdad said:


> Yeah, it's apparently fairly common, but here's the way I look at it, and it's pretty uncharitable:
> 
> Basically, what we're talking about if this should become reality is demoting your wife to a sex performer in live porn so that you can get your jollies, even if you try to mask that with the rationalization that "it's for her, too".
> 
> I have difficulty imagining an act more disrespectful of your wife as a human being and of your marriage.


 +1

My ex-husband liked it when other men stared or made lewd comments to or about me. He often asked me to dress far more provocatively than would have been my preference because he seemed to enjoy having other men leering at me. Once or twice he made comments regarding how hot it would be to see me with another man. He was either enjoying the idea of me with other men, or perhaps simply enjoying my unease and embarrassment. He could be like that. 

For him to push to actually make his fantasy a reality would have felt even more icky and disrespectful than his little games already did. Fantasies are one thing. But I wanted to feel protected by my husband, for our marriage to be protected and honored. Him pushing me to have sex with another man for his amusement would have made me feel the opposite of honored and protected. The idea is not appealing, and I'm not sure I could be in a relationship with someone who would be okay sharing me. I'm just not wired that way.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

GTdad said:


> Yeah, it's apparently fairly common, but here's the way I look at it, and it's pretty uncharitable:
> 
> Basically, what we're talking about if this should become reality is demoting your wife to a sex performer in live porn so that you can get your jollies, even if you try to mask that with the rationalization that "it's for her, too".
> 
> I have difficulty imagining an act more disrespectful of your wife as a human being and of your marriage.


I think a lot of men that have this fantasy also watch a great deal of porn. Its like the next step after just watching porn. Live sex. I don't think it necessarily has to do anything with the wife. They just want to watch live sex performed in front of them. The ultimate in voyeurism.


----------



## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> I think a lot of men that have this fantasy also watch a great deal of porn. Its like the next step after just watching porn. Live sex. I don't think it necessarily has to do anything with the wife. They just want to watch live sex performed in front of them. The ultimate in voyeurism.


I disagree. It's just a kink (a very kinky, dangerous kink).

I enjoy watching porn.

I'm pretty sure I would enjoy watching live sex.

No f**king way I'm interested in seeing my wife with another man.

It seems like women want to blame porn for everything that's wrong in the world.


----------



## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Actually this is a carry over from our evolution. Men were by necessity dominate. If another male tried to move in it would excite them to action. First to fight and then to.... you know. Its purposeful time has passed. As useful as it was in the perpetuation of the species it is no longer a necessary response. It still serves its intended purpose but in our world of monogamy it has no use and, in fact, can cause more harm by demeaning your SO and introducing variables into the equation that need not be there.

I give you two words, unintended consequences.

Proceed at your own risk.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

So many opportunities to face-palm in this thread. Unfortunately too little time.


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I personally, on some level, would love it if my guy let me have sex with another man while he watched (or preferably, participated). From a purely sexual point of view, I think that is incredibly hot. And I think it CAN be done without emotional attachment or the relationship being damaged if you have a rock solid relationship and you are satisfying her sexually otherwise. 

For me the main barrier would be that I would have a REALLY hard time watching my guy with another woman and if he let me be with another man, I would fully expect him to think I would reciprocate, and I don't think I could.


----------



## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> I'm more interested in what other women's reactions would be.


Just casting my vote.

The idea is a complete turn-off.

My husband is supposed to protect me and object to other men trying to have sex with me/flirt with me, etc.


----------



## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

I suggest you read a bit more here on those that have tried this and how Pandora's box has ruined their marriage. That seems the likely outcome more often than not. I've BTDT but prior to marriage, it was hot and exciting as it's forbidden but the next morning, as the liquor wore off she said to me 'how could you let me DO THAT, you're supposed to protect me!'

She loved it in the moment and hated herself the next day. The relationship did not survive, for obvious reasons. It was hot at the time, but not worth it after the fact. Now the closest I get to that is playing the 'masseur' to my wife, her blindfolded and me telling her that her husband paid for 'the full realease massage'. 

Once you cross that line there is no coming back my friend. Stick with fantasy, use marital aids to prentend. Just keep that box (metaphorically and literally) closed. 

Cheers,
V(13)
Aka Sven Rough hands tonite.


----------



## totallywarped (Jan 26, 2013)

Miss Taken said:


> I don't think this fantasy is uncommon. I've surely fantasized about sex with other men. However doing/thinking not the same on any level. Very few people (and we do have some members here) can actually manage a swinging lifestyle/open marriage successfully.
> 
> This can backfire. Either by you feeling unexpected jealousy/betrayal or her liking it a heck of a lot more than you did and wanting it to continue.
> 
> ...


This is a great idea, dress up make yourself look as different as possible. You can even use a strap on or penis extender and tape it to watch later. It's way for you to see her w/ someone else w/o her breaking your vows. This bell can't be unrung and more than likely it's something she'll enjoy way more than you anticipated (who doesn't love the rush of a new person). You can't compete with that you'll never be "new" for her again.


----------



## HisPlaceofInterest (Feb 27, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a very very good relationship. We get along great, great sex life, etc.
> We are both still fairly young (mid thirties) and fit. I have always had a fantasy about watching her have sex with someone else? I don't know why....I just do. We talked about it abit but never really to serious. I would like to hear from other women if this is something you would ever do or not. Thanks.


My wife will do most anything I am into and if I asked it of her she certainly would. She loves sex. She loves me. And most of all she loves A LOT of Sex! Of course if I were to ask something like that of her, we would always be extremely slow, cautious, and safe about it. No use rushing into an unsafe relationship. 

With that said, we Role Play things like this all the time. Why not try that? First it was like acting, then we moved to acting and using props, then dress up along with, adding toys, mirrors, dummies and have made it pretty realistic these days. We now have a female doll that is amazing and have a male one on order. The Sex Doll has helped tremendously with all the RP. My wife believes the male sex doll is going to open up a whole new world for us. 

I suggest saving up and getting a "Real" male sex doll and watch all you want! My wife has a blast with our current doll and so do I.

I would caution stepping out of the fantasy though. As others have stated, it can open a can of worms that you can't put back. Either way, play with it in RP and see how it goes. Personally I am happy with all our couple play, toys, and RP. We are pretty limitless with all we can do now.

Also watching yourself in the mirror is amazing as well as on video while having sex.



totallywarped said:


> This is a great idea, dress up make yourself look as different as possible. You can even use a strap on or penis extender and tape it to watch later. It's way for you to see her w/ someone else w/o her breaking your vows. This bell can't be unrung and more than likely it's something she'll enjoy way more than you anticipated (who doesn't love the rush of a new person). You can't compete with that you'll never be "new" for her again.


I also HIGHLY encourage you to video tape your sex times to play and watch as you continue to act out more RP. We use a sex machine, sex doll, suction toys, and strap ons to have many sexual partners in a wide variety of places, positions, etc. My wife loves DP so there is a lot of me "assisting" and of course wearing a strap on along with doing her with my penis. She loves to watch me double doing on her the big screen while I am doing her, especially if I am in costume.


----------



## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

I watch my wife with other women, as foreplay prior to joining in and enjoy it. I've watched her use a strap and take a woman, etc. All of it turned us both on and gave us new experiences. 

I don't think leaving fantasies as a fantasy is always bad, but just communicate and know exactly what you are getting into before you try an experience. I personally wouldn't be okay with seeing my wife with another man at all. That thought makes me sick to my stomach, violently sick. 

A lot of people are against adding any third person, but a couple that communicates and gets all boundaries and prepares for all murphy law scenarios can make it happen successfully. If any of the murphy law scenarios bother you, do not add a third person. The experience is not what breaks you, it's what happens that you didn't expect and how it affects you after.

Good luck.


----------



## flyer (Jun 23, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a very very good relationship. We get along great, great sex life, etc.
> We are both still fairly young (mid thirties) and fit. I have always had a fantasy about watching her have sex with someone else? I don't know why....I just do. We talked about it abit but never really to serious. I would like to hear from other women if this is something you would ever do or not. Thanks.



Send a picture. I might volunteer. It's all I'd have gotten the past year & a half.


----------



## justastatistic (May 16, 2014)

While your's is a very common fantasy, you should read some of the horror stories posted on sites dedicated to those activities. Once you add another person to the marriage, you lose a fair amount of control over what the final outcome will be.


----------



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Lila said:


> Nothing against TAM, but this website is targeting sexually monogamous couples. Assuminging that you and your wife are both seriously interested in this fantasy, I would suggest posting this question on a fetish or swinger forum. You'll get pro and con responses from people with actual experience making this fantasy a reality.


Lila - this particular section of TAM is called 'Sex in Marriage' not 'Sex with your Spouse'.

I agree that most posters here are in a sexually monogamous relationship, but we have all had different experiences and learned from them and can pass on our experiences.

The OP is not here seeking out potential swinging partners but simply seeking advice.

I said that I would like to see my wife having sex with and enjoying it with another man...not because I/we are into swinging etc but because I would like to see if my wife does and can enjoy sex but just not with me. I'm not trying to advertise here for someone to shaft my wife!

The OP has been given lots of advice, 95% being 'Don't do it'.
Advice is what he came for.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

the main problem with your plan is when she says the next day:
"His penis was SOOOO much BIGGGER than yours, i never had so many orgasms or felt sooooo good". Then later that day you try to get laid and she says "no, i'm busy....watching the home garden channel".....you have set those wheels to turning....


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I have a friend who is a swinger. She says that 9 times out of 10 when her bf and her bring in another couple that is new to swinging, the guy freaks out. It never occurred to him that his woman would enjoy being with another guy so much (because he was just thinking about how much he was going to enjoy a new woman.) My friend's bf is well endowed and has a penis piercing which, apparently, is really pleasurable for the woman. 

You don't really know how you or she will react until it happens. Take that into account. I think weird feelings can be overcome, just takes a LOT of communication afterward.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Would like to watch.....*



askari said:


> Lila - this particular section of TAM is called 'Sex in Marriage' not 'Sex with your Spouse'.
> 
> I agree that most posters here are in a sexually monogamous relationship, but we have all had different experiences and learned from them and can pass on our experiences.
> 
> ...


So if that transpired, and you discovered that indeed your W got off with a new male partner, but still couldn't with you, how would you feel? 

With new partners there is always a dopamine hit, part of the excitement is the novelty. A third party, or more importantly a string of new partners, offers your spouse that which you cannot give her, and takes her sexual responsiveness to a level you cannot get to.

Every time your wife wanted to get off you would have to bring in an OM. It is a huge divide in the marriage, and the reason why long term relationships only work out if they remain monogamous.


----------



## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

Honestly some of the excitement in watching one's wife is seeing her in such a heightened level of excitement and arousal !?!? 

I don't think any male would actually want to see his spouse with someone else but seeing her with that sexual , eyes rolling back look on her face can be quite sexy !!

Though it'd be best if it were the husband causing that look of lust of course !!?!?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> I have a friend who is a swinger. She says that 9 times out of 10 when her bf and her bring in another couple that is new to swinging, the guy freaks out. It never occurred to him that his woman would enjoy being with another guy so much (because he was just thinking about how much he was going to enjoy a new woman.) My friend's bf is well endowed and has a penis piercing which, apparently, is really pleasurable for the woman.


Their own damn fault for being that stupid! It would be interesting if she had some follow up stories of how the couples dealt with the aftermath of sharing each other. There are a lot of females that get destroyed after seeing their man in another woman. I don't agree with swinging but I at least respect the people who are not so ignorant as to not know what they can handle.


----------



## HisPlaceofInterest (Feb 27, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> She once told me about having sex with another guy and it was an ultimate turn on. It's not something that comes up often. I'm more interested in what other women's reactions would be.


Wifey of HisPlace..."My reaction to my husband asking me to have sex with another man would be – sure if you will. ;0 

There are very few things that I am uncomfortable with sexually and physically another body is no big deal as long as we exclude the mental and emotional ramifications. Sure I could enjoy other people sexually (as I said - physically) but what would adding another real live man to the mix bring to the table? 

I would have access to more cum, more frequently, which I am into in a major way. I'd have more hands on me (hands always feel good). I could get a lot more attention orally, even dual (hmmmmm - now my interest is rising). 

Now for the real kicker - My fantasy, (and my husband knows it), is bisexual play. It turns me on in a way like nothing else ad there is quite a bit that gets me going. What if that turned your wife on? You'd have the guy you wanted to watch with her. Would be willing to let her watch you? Now if my husband were willing to go along with my fantasy (which he sort of plays along with) and we did make it a reality (which will probably never happen), I'd be so inclined to go the extra extra mile for him and do whatever he wanted. 

So that is my reaction. Now, what is yours?”


----------



## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

This is extremely popular today. "Hotwife" or "Cuckold" porn is the fastest going fetish in the industry. The most watched and searched porn on the internet is two guys one girl. Most people believe its teen or two girls one guy but its not. 

Males by evolution are design to compete in women's womb. Women moan to excite their partner and to attache other males close by. Males are attracted to the sounds of a moaning women and can hear that better than crying baby. The male penis has a head at the end and it will pull 95% of a others males sperm to increase his odds of fathering a child. A male who thinks he is competing with other males will thrust harder and deeper and both testicle will release sperm creating a more powerful orgasm for the male. 

I didn't get into what happens to the female but she too is design to and will have better sex with multiple partners. So enjoy yourself and practice safe sex so you can do it again.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

When you think about the details of the whole thing, it becomes rather unappealing.

a) sex with condoms sucks. Oral sex = high risk to STD
b) STD - most couples that swing probably have lot of experience and are exposed to STDs.

Go ahead OP, look up list of STD and how you can catch them etc.

Your fantasy will quickly become just that.....I just fail to see a safe way to do this.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

White.Rabbit said:


> Your relationship needs to be ROCK SOLID before you even consider going down this route and it HAS to be her fantasy as well as yours. I was in a failing marriage when the now estranged Mr Rabbit, who wasn't meeting my needs, confessed to some kind of cuckold fantasy and suggested letting me off the lead. The trouble was I realised what I'd been missing out on and I've re-partnered since. Ask yourself how would you feel if she formed an emotional attachment and decided she would be better off elsewhere?


Did Mr Rabbit know he was not meeting your needs?

If so, a cuckhold fantasy just seems suicidal, unless he just wanted to unload you by that point and it was part of the plan.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DoF said:


> When you think about the details of the whole thing, it becomes rather unappealing.
> 
> a) sex with condoms sucks. Oral sex = high risk to STD
> b) STD - most couples that swing probably have lot of experience and are exposed to STDs.
> ...


What are some of the rates of transmission on the more popular STD's?


----------



## grays (Jun 24, 2014)

I'm wondering shy your and your wife's fitness is relevant. I think the advice/reaction would be the same even if y'all were chubby, no? And chubby people do enjoy sex and have fantasies and such... Just curious.


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

treyvion said:


> What are some of the rates of transmission on the more popular STD's?


They wouldn't be the popular ones if they weren't easy to transmit, would they?


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

larry.gray said:


> I think you're dead on with that. The men against it just don't post. I certainly don't understand the fascination with doing that. Not at all.
> 
> I suspect it's maybe a 5% or 10% kind of thing, but with 300 million english speaking men, that's still 15 to 30 million dudes who are interested in this.


Salon.com on Cuckold porn:

_This genre of porn is currently “the second most popular heterosexual interest in English-language search engines,” according to the bible on such things, Sai Gadaam and Ogi Ogas’ “A Billion Wicked Thoughts.”
_


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

johnnycomelately said:


> Salon.com on Cuckold porn:
> 
> _This genre of porn is currently “the second most popular heterosexual interest in English-language search engines,” according to the bible on such things, Sai Gadaam and Ogi Ogas’ “A Billion Wicked Thoughts.”
> _


I reject their premise. If it's porn with multiple penises it isn't hetero porn, its bi porn. Dudes who like it are at least a little bi. There are a lot of bi dudes.


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> I reject their premise. If it's porn with multiple penises it isn't hetero porn, its bi porn. Dudes who like it are at least a little bi. There are a lot of bi dudes.


Sorry, no. Not if the guys aren't interacting with each other. Are you into guys because you watch porn that has penises in it?


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

firebelly1 said:


> Sorry, no. Not if the guys aren't interacting with each other. Are you into guys because you watch porn that has penises in it?


There is another fallacy of presupposition: I have no interest in porn that has penises in it (except for a handful of photos of mine with my wife doing things with it). It just does nothing for me. I'm not homophobic, it doesn't gross me out or anything. It just isn't exciting. I prefer solo women and some lesbian porn.


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> There is another fallacy of presupposition: I have no interest in porn that has penises in it (except for a handful of photos of mine with my wife doing things with it). It just does nothing for me. I'm not homophobic, it doesn't gross me out or anything. It just isn't exciting. I prefer solo women and some lesbian porn.


Fair enough. But I would venture to guess that most heterosexual guys who watch porn watch the type that have penises in them. Not because they are interested in the penis but because they imagine themselves attached to it doing the things it's doing. 

Same reason I like lesbian porn even though I'm not lesbian or bi.


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

well. I hope this does not qualify as a threadjack. but IMO for those so inclined to make such fantasies reality, it seems to me that such an open marriage should be so on both sides. i.e. if a wife wants to bring in another man, she has to accept her husband bringing in another woman, when or if it suits him to do so. and vice-versa. am sensing that most here agree with that....


----------



## Joylush (Sep 28, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> Fair enough. But I would venture to guess that most heterosexual guys who watch porn watch the type that have penises in them. Not because they are interested in the penis but because they imagine themselves attached to it doing the things it's doing.
> 
> Same reason I like lesbian porn even though I'm not lesbian or bi.


Actually studies done show that the typical hetero-sexual man isn't as aroused by porn with penises in it and most prefer exactly what Larry said he prefers. Women on-the-other-hand were aroused by sex of all kinds and their bodies were reacting even when they claimed not to be aroused. It makes some sense if you read the research and reasons given as to why this seems to be.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

larry.gray said:


> I reject their premise. If it's porn with multiple penises it isn't hetero porn, its bi porn. Dudes who like it are at least a little bi. There are a lot of bi dudes.


You can reject their premise of course, and make the old 'not real men' argument, but the research contradicts your position. I will go with the scientific consensus on this one.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Joylush said:


> Actually studies done show that the typical hetero-sexual man isn't as aroused by porn with penises in it and most prefer exactly what Larry said he prefers. Women on-the-other-hand were aroused by sex of all kinds and their bodies were reacting even when they claimed not to be aroused. It makes some sense if you read the research and reasons given as to why this seems to be.


A Billion Wicked Thoughts stated that penis terms (****, **** etc) were some of the terms most frequently searched for by straight men. By your argument most men are bi/gay because the vast majority of porn has at least one penis in it. Take a look for yourself and see.

It makes sense, because if you are trying to imagine yourself in the situation you are viewing and you have a penis you are going to want to watch porn with a penis in it.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

I would consider doing this for my h, but would have certain non-negotiable ground rules:

1) I get to pick the guy. Suggestions are okay, but I get final say.
2) This isn't tit for tat. I'm doing it *for* him, and so there is no reciprocal agreement that I want to watch him with someone else, or that he gets a free pass
3) I get to decide what sex acts are on the table and what aren't


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Joylush said:


> Actually studies done show that the typical hetero-sexual man isn't as aroused by porn with penises in it and most prefer exactly what Larry said he prefers. Women on-the-other-hand were aroused by sex of all kinds and their bodies were reacting even when they claimed not to be aroused. It makes some sense if you read the research and reasons given as to why this seems to be.


Seems like we need a TAM survey.


----------



## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

Men like in sex watch and hear sex when the women is turned-on and moaning. We are programed that way. 

How to get your wife to participate in your fantasy. Have a guy give her "Yoni" massage. That will get going and just let it happen. 

The sight of hard penis is arousing to ALL women and they ALL will keep their eyes clued to it. Some will lie for all kinds of reasoning. If use porn and to get her aroused and bring up the subject. Get porn with a hard penis it will get her wet and she will have to fight the desire to look else-where. 

Women are easy just like men if you know what buttons to push. You should do this for her! If she says monogamous she most likely will become sexually dysfunctional over time and you don't want that. 

Keep in mind most people think of good sex has making love and confuse sex and love. Make sure she understand that so don't let her have a boy friend at first. People marry thinking they are in love because of the great sex, not understanding that the sex will fade and eventually vanish unless you stay sexual active with others. In America today we have a BIG sexual problem, 43% of all our women are sexually dysfunctional. Due to cultural imprinting that you only have sex with a person you love and save sex for the person you love. When the sex dies some think they are no longer in love. Fantasy with others are ignored and sexual feeling are repressed leading to dysfunction. You can buy toys and watch porn to prolong the process but eventually she will need contact with others to stay a sexually healthy vibrate women.


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

always_alone said:


> I would consider doing this for my h, but would have certain non-negotiable ground rules:
> 
> 1) I get to pick the guy. Suggestions are okay, but I get final say.
> 2) This isn't tit for tat. I'm doing it *for* him, and so there is no reciprocal agreement that I want to watch him with someone else, or that he gets a free pass
> 3) I get to decide what sex acts are on the table and what aren't


Am a little surprised (simply because I have read many of your posts and wouldn't have imagined you being open to something like this). you wouldn't take his request as unloving/disrespectful to you?? Are you not quite convinced of the value of monogamy? Is this something you would try and then perhaps do multiple times?? 


anyway adults can enter into a relationship with such stipulations, no questions. I do get judgemental about open relationships that are unequal, though. not completely sure why. just always seems to me that there is some unhealthy manipulation involved, or that one spouse is reinforcing the other's feeling of shame or inferiority in some way. 
Always Alone - in your scenario yes - it is his idea, but even so why would you agree to have sex with another man/other men while prohibiting him from having sex with other women??


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

There is a TAM poster who doesn't come round anymore, CD Baker. His story was very sad. He pushed his wife into having a threesome to spice up their marriage and it led them to separate for three years. When he came to TAM they were trying to reconcile and were living together is a sexless relationship. He kept writing that soon or later if he were patient, they would be husband and wife again. Unfortunately, it did not seem to happen.

There are TAM posters who report successful swinging but they are not TAM orthodox.

George Harrison and Patty didn't make it. They swapped and cheated.


----------



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I think at some level this fantasy is similar to a female rape fantasy. A woman who fantasizes about rape or rough sex does not really want to be raped or abused. It's that the physiological fear response mimics that of arousal. So fantasizing about it heightens the experience. 

I think the same is true of these cuckold fantasies. The physiological response to the thought of your partner with another man can mimic arousal. So in my mind if you enjoy the fantasy enjoy it. I just wouldn't pursue it in real life...no more than I would encourage a woman who has a rape fantasy to go out and get herself raped. 

The reality is fraught with dangers that will more likely than not ruin the entire experience.


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

nuclearnightmare said:


> Always Alone - in your scenario yes - it is his idea, but even so why would you agree to have sex with another man/other men while prohibiting him from having sex with other women??


If it were *my* fantasy, I would see your point: it would only be fair to let him have his fantasy too. But it isn't. It's *his* fantasy.

And so if I were to give him this AND give him a hall pass, he gets two fantasies, with no reciprocation, and that doesn't seem fair to me.

I should get my turn, no? 

No fair turning it around and pretending like it was some sort of great treat or favour for me when really it was all about him and what he wanted.


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

always_alone said:


> If it were *my* fantasy, I would see your point: it would only be fair to let him have his fantasy too. But it isn't. It's *his* fantasy.
> 
> And so if I were to give him this AND give him a hall pass, he gets two fantasies, with no reciprocation, and that doesn't seem fair to me.
> 
> ...


no actually. it's also about what you want; what you would consider, what you would allow. we're talking about what we would allow in real life, not just fantasies. why would you consider such a request from him favorably in the first place? (i.e. my earlier question on monogamy)


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Melvynman said:


> Men like in sex watch and hear sex when the women is turned-on and moaning. We are programed that way.
> 
> How to get your wife to participate in your fantasy. Have a guy give her "Yoni" massage. That will get going and just let it happen.
> 
> ...


Where are you getting this sh!T? Maybe you aren't enough for your woman but don't presume it of others. Mrs. Conan and I keep improving and it has been 23 years. Too much porn?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

nuclearnightmare said:


> no actually. it's also about what you want; what you would consider, what you would allow. we're talking about what we would allow in real life, not just fantasies. why would you consider such a request from him favorably in the first place? (i.e. my earlier question on monogamy)


A few reasons, some positive, some not so positive.

In general, I'm an "I'll try it once" kind of person. I like to explore and experiment, and a bit of adventure and challenge.

Also, if I'm willing to do extreme things for him, maybe he'll be open to doing extreme things for me.

On the more negative side, lately I've been inclined to think that monogamy has been nothing but a lying farce, and so why should I bother honoring it?

My bond has already been stressed, almost to the point of breaking, and so I'm less worried about the consequences of mucking with it. 

Why should I care if he doesn''t?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

always_alone said:


> A few reasons, some positive, some not so positive.
> 
> In general, I'm an "I'll try it once" kind of person. I like to explore and experiment, and a bit of adventure and challenge.
> 
> ...


Ouch!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

always_alone said:


> A few reasons, some positive, some not so positive.
> 
> In general, I'm an "I'll try it once" kind of person. I like to explore and experiment, and a bit of adventure and challenge.
> 
> ...


AA - 
my impresasion is that a good marriage could be a very significant comfort to you. I'm truly sorry to hear your marriage is struggling. 
your answer above is interesting...have to think on it more


----------



## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I think at some level this fantasy is similar to a female rape fantasy. A woman who fantasizes about rape or rough sex does not really want to be raped or abused. It's that the physiological fear response mimics that of arousal. So fantasizing about it heightens the experience.
> 
> I think the same is true of these cuckold fantasies. The physiological response to the thought of your partner with another man can mimic arousal. So in my mind if you enjoy the fantasy enjoy it. I just wouldn't pursue it in real life...no more than I would encourage a woman who has a rape fantasy to go out and get herself raped.
> 
> The reality is fraught with dangers that will more likely than not ruin the entire experience.


Rape fantasy is survival instinct! When we where hunters and gathers a few thousand years ago women would have to get wet and aroused if they came cross a aggressive horny male. They would become passive and wet so they wouldn't tear during intercourse. Tearing could lead to infection and death. The dominate bad boy, rape fantasy all survival instincts for women. Women watch a film with violence and they get aroused not understanding it survival instinct and confuse it with fantasy. 

Cuckold fantasy is male sperm competition. A male watching a women have sex will get aroused and want to have sex with her. His penis head is design to pull out 95% of other male sperm. He will trust hard and deeper depositing more sperm and activating both testicles giving him a more powerful and pleasurable experience. The women on the other hand will open up more and have allow deeper penetration with each new lover. Her orgasms will increase and become more whole body experience, something she going to want to repeat. The the males will rebound want to have sex with again. All competing 
to impregnate her. 

Some guys with cuckold fantasy get confused and think they are bi or a submissive male. They are just aroused and want to compete at the sperm level. They find themselves more aroused by the though of someone else having sex with their wives. Not understanding it just male sperm competition designs by evolution.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I guess me and my wife didn't"evolve" on the same planet as you. I do not get aroused thinking about another man with my wife, I get homicide level violent. My wife doesn't get aroused when there is violence and threat of rape, she gets angry and violent herself. Like hollow point 9mm mad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I guess me and my wife didn't"evolve" on the same planet as you. I do not get aroused thinking about another man with my wife, I get homicide level violent. My wife doesn't get aroused when there is violence and threat of rape, she gets angry and violent herself. Like hollow point 9mm mad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sorry I was staying on topic this man wants to watch his wife have sex with someone else. I was trying to keep it brief and explain why its natural and very common today. 

Your problem "thinking about another man with my wife, I get homicide level violent." Thats your problem not his. His trying to understand his desire. Evolution explains both his desire and yours for violence. Yes you did evolve on the same planet. Evolution does explain why you have violent feeling when it comes to someone else having sex with your wife. Your perfectly normal too.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Evolution arguments aside, I seriously doubt OPs fantasy is as common as you and others are portraying. I believe my point of view is far more common.


----------



## Melvynman (Mar 19, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Evolution arguments aside, I seriously doubt OPs fantasy is as common as you and others are portraying. I believe my point of view is far more common.


Of course you believe that. Science and statistics teach us humans have sexual animal instinct just like all others animals on the planet. Believing something doesn't make it true. Research and science can explain most thing over time. Long lasting marriages are a rare thing in our society today. Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce. A very large percent of married people have sexual problems in their relationship. Lucky people have been studying human sexuality for a long time. I try to stay away form the passing judgement on legal sexual activity. I want to give actuate facts back up by studies research. Men are turn-on by watching women have sex with other males and there is plenty of scientific research to back that up. This man want to watch his wife have sex. I want him to enjoy it and I want his marriage to last a very long time. I am not here pass judgement on his desire's.


----------



## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I'll point out that just because cuckold porn is really popular doesn't prove that it's a majority fantasy.

It simply means _among the most heavy porn users_ it is popular.


----------



## White.Rabbit (Feb 24, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> I'll point out that just because cuckold porn is really popular doesn't prove that it's a majority fantasy.
> 
> It simply means _among the most heavy porn users_ it is popular.


I wouldn't know what the stats are here, but that rings very true where my ex is concerned.


----------



## Lisa2marie (Oct 29, 2014)

I'm a wife that has done this, yes it was hot in the moment but afterward I felt awful and guilty. My husband on the other hand was obsessed and loved it. Now we are having problems because I feel like that's the only way he is sexually satisfied.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Lisa2marie said:


> I'm a wife that has done this, yes it was hot in the moment





Lisa2marie said:


> Well the guy seemed perfect, he was good looking, fun, charming but the sexual part I hated


Your posts on the different threads seem to be contradictory. I can't tell whether you enjoyed the sex or not.


----------



## araffair (Sep 2, 2016)

I think about this all the time during intercourse with my wife. She had an affair several years ago and told me he was bigger than me and she was able to PIV orgasm with him. I recently bought a penis extender and she had her first PIV orgasm since her affair.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Zombie thread!!


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

araffair said:


> I think about this all the time during intercourse with my wife. She had an affair several years ago and told me he was bigger than me and she was able to PIV orgasm with him. I recently bought a penis extender and she had her first PIV orgasm since her affair.


Oh man...start a new thread. I want to read your story!


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Oh man...start a new thread. I want to read your story!


No lube in the popcorn!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

JamesDoe said:


> My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have a very very good relationship. We get along great, great sex life, etc.
> We are both still fairly young (mid thirties) and fit. I have always had a fantasy about watching her have sex with someone else? I don't know why....I just do. We talked about it abit but never really to serious. I would like to hear from other women if this is something you would ever do or not. Thanks.


Respect you W. Watching your W have sex with another will be the end of your marriage IMO.


----------

