# I'm Losing What Little Is Left of My Mind....



## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Hi. Haven't posted in a while. Ex and I are.....I don't know what we are to be honest. Reconciling? Trying to? We see each other a lot and hang out sometimes. But I think he's being a selfish a--. There, I said it. He does't want to be seen together in our small town because he doesn't want anyone to think we're together???? When we go out, it's to the big city for a date (which is fine, not much to do here anyway). He says he loves me, but can't give me a definite answer as to whether or not we'll get back together until December when his teaching semester is over and he sees how he handles HIS overwhelming stress due to his job. He says he wants to do couples counseling, but not now. I feel so impatient. And I'm so stressed out I'm even on probation at work. I used to be employee of the month sometimes, and now I'm POS employee....I guess I'm just looking for some support or sympathy. Every facet of my life is a disaster, and I'm not sure how to rebuild. I'm in IC already and have severe depression with a hospitalization for the first time ever in April. I feel like I'm sliding down a steep, slippery slope and have no way of stopping.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

I'm sorry for what you're going thru. It's driving me to the brink as well. Maybe you should just forget him and not let him hold that power over you anymore.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

TheMizz...erable said:


> I'm sorry for what you're going thru. It's driving me to the brink as well. Maybe you should just forget him and not let him hold that power over you anymore.


Yea. Tell him to call you when he's ready.

You should not be anyone's secret.


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## upset/confused (Jul 26, 2011)

Let him go. Take time away from work and find a place to relax. A beach, a nature walk, a retreat, a day spa. Dont convince yourself you dont have the time or money, you do, and it will make a huge difference to be in unfamiliar surroundings.Then create a simple happy memory just that one day that you can hold onto. It can be anything. A shape in the clouds, a rare flower, a butterly following you. But find something that is only your experience and hold onto that.

These times are hard, but each day, please do something for yourself. It will save your life. I know your pain is overwhelming. I am only a few weeks ahead of you, but I try like heck to rid myself of his negative thoughts.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Things have changed since that last post, and in a way it's better because I did tell him that if and when he's ready to do counseling and work on it, let me know and if I'm available, I'll consider it. In a way it's worse, because now I have no contact with him other than dealing with kids, and that's really hard. I have to get out and find some friends and some activities. I didn't realize how wrapped up in him I became over the years. I don't even know who I am.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

i'm right there with you!! I need to go make friends....


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## Girlx (Aug 19, 2011)

WomanScorned said:


> Things have changed since that last post, and in a way it's better because I did tell him that if and when he's ready to do counseling and work on it, let me know and if I'm available, I'll consider it. In a way it's worse, because now* I have no contact with him other than dealing with kids, and that's really hard. I have to get out and find some friends and some activities. I didn't realize how wrapped up in him I became over the years. I don't even know who I am*.


That is me right there as well. Im sorry you are going through this.. It completely sucks. I just moved an hour away from my Soon to be Ex. So now he has to travel to visit our girls. I have no friends and left the ones I was seeing up there. But I had to get away from him and actually feel like im doing this without him. He was coming over daily up there and I did NOT want that. 1. it wasnt healthy for the girls or me and 2. I couldnt see him every day and then know he was leaving me (After eating dinner at my house) to go to the OW.. 

I was doing great this week.. Until today when he came over this weekend to see the girls.. This week i need to learn to let go.. I also need to get some friends.. 

((Hugs)) It does get better. From reading other posts I can see that and I can only wait until im there. Makes me extremely hopeful for the future and what greatness it holds for me and my girls.


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