# New Here



## OrangeDawn (Jun 15, 2010)

Hello, all. I am 27 years old, and I just got married a few weeks ago, and I found this forum hoping for a place to see what others are going through and get some support. 

I have a long history of depression and anxiety, but for the most part have it under control now with only manageable "flare-ups." This flare-up couldn't come at worse time. 

We just got back from our honeymoon on Sunday. He had to fly out west for his work, so I am spending a few days back home trying to get things moved and sorted out before I join him on Thursday. 

I love him with all my heart. My family loves him, and we are perfect for each other. I wanted to marry him more than anything I've ever wanted, and I do not regret that decision at all. The problem is that suddenly, out of nowhere, I am crippled with anxiety. We are moving to an area near where he's been living and near his job and church, so he is pretty settled and comfortable there. I, however, am not. It's also 4 hours away from my family, which I'm very close to. I knew all of this before we married, of course, but now it's like all of a sudden, I can't handle it. 

I feel so incredibly guilty that I had a wonderful wedding to a wonderful man who took me on a dream honeymoon and is bending over backwards to please me, and all I can do is lie here and be flooded with anxiety. It's like it's just hitting home that I'm moving to new area and house where I know no one and have no job. I feel totally selfish that after all God has given me, all I can feel is fear and dread. The thought of being his wife makes me happy, but it gets lost in the waves of depression. I never expected to feel this way, and I'm literally stunned. I went literally from being the happiest girl in the world to the saddest. 

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this before or heard of anyone who has?


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## marga88 (Jun 17, 2010)

Your were just trying to adjust of your new life. You will actually feel this kinds of things for the next few weeks or months after your wedding. So there must be lots of things to know about to responsibly accept that you are now a different person after you totally submitted yourself to him. This has something to do with your environment and your new obligations. You don't have to blame yourself to this, it's just a part of getting a mature role on how to handle a being married woman.


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## OrangeDawn (Jun 15, 2010)

Thanks so much for your response. I think you're right.


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