# 3-somes...are they really worth it?



## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

Married couples, have you tried threesomes. J/c.

If so, is it worth it and how do you get into one anyway?


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Never tried and if I ever considered it, it would be if my wife suggest it....and It would have to be with another woman - don't think I could do it with another man....


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

moonangel said:


> Married couples, have you tried threesomes. J/c.
> 
> If so, is it worth it and how do you get into one anyway?


Didn't try with my husband but in the past, I did "try" with the other girl, I think the man felt fun to see two women, but nothing really happened because in the end, we, girls were not interested in this man. 
LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

By the way, my husband did try 3 some for real before we met.
He said in the end he could only focus on 1 woman he prefered and had to give up & ignore the other because he wasn't able to handle two... LOL 
He said it's fun to have such experience but he wouldn't want to do again. Once is enough for curiosity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Question comes up a lot.

If history here is any indication, there are 5 or more nightmare stories for every 1 remotely healthy 3-some or swinger story shared here.

But everybody reads'em!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Never did it, never had the fantasy & don't care to see it in porn either, I fast forward such things. All for monogomy here. 

Husband also has no interest.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Well to each their own, but its not for me. I have known a few people over the years though who do this, and it has caused alot more issues than they had to begin with.


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## walter (Jan 19, 2011)

We talked about it with my wife a long time ago (we were not married yet). I wanted to have another woman while she another man. The problem was that she would have been too jealous for another woman and I for another man. Since neither of us wanted to hurt the other, we agreed not to try it.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

When I was a teen, a boy I was dating tried to talk me into doing a 3 some with me and my girl friend. First, he started talking about some guy he knew who did it that w/e and joked about it. That was a lie, he started there as part of a grooming process that I now recognize. He finally came out and asked if I and one of my gf would like to fool around. Mind you, I was not even having sex with this guy, just heavy making out no genitals touched. 

Well, I was a timid person at the time but no push over or fool. I think he was rather surprised when I cursed his azzzz out and told he not to darken my door again. Then I told all of our friends what happened, it was very uncomfortable for him. 

Because of that experience, this is a hot button issue for me so please give me some slack. I knew that guy for years before we dated, he knew my family and friends. I was shocked and thought that he picked me because I somehow made him think I would be likely to do such a thing.

Any man who whats a FMF threesome should do this first to show his reluctant partner how openminded and willing he is to step out of his comfort zone and spice things up. I'd suggest a MFM where you can watch him and the guy giving each other bj and then you have sex with the guy. Surely, no loving man would want his partner to do what he cannot even think of doing. A selfish, entitled man might. How many men would do that? If the answer is negative then think of what a woman is being asked to do. Then why ask women to do it? The big brain should register empathy and tell the little brain what to do. 

Marco's response is typical - he wants to use the woman for his pleasure and would expect her to endure watching him cheat and her being with a woman, something that does not come naturally to her. Yet, he could not stand for her to have the pleasure of enjoying another man. If you cannot bear the thought of watching her having the excitement of enjoying newness of another man, what convoluted thought processes would make it OK for you Marco to have another woman while not even being able to think let alone watch her with another man? I am curious, what makes you more worthy of that pleasure than your wife? 

This is a male fantasy born of porn, there is nothing in it for women. I think it has nothing to do with "spicing thighs up", love or intimacy in a committed relationship. It's pure p***s centered sex. Although I am certain that sex is an emotional connection to men, it can be, at the same time, too centered on his pleasure. He may forget that there is a human connected to those body parts and they are not there strictly for his use. I still cannot understand why women let themselves be talked into these fantasies that are for the pleasure of the male only and emotionally devastating on several fronts. 

She has to watch her husband cheat, and she has to force herself to have contact with a woman when her sexual orientation does not lean in that direction. Yet again, I do understand - woman want to be loved and please their partner. But there is no love or intimacy involved in sex that is not totally and freely enjoyed by both parties.

If a woman is not bi and it is not her idea, then no man should suggest or try to coerce a woman to do this. It amounts to her putting on a porn show for him and watching him cheat. If sex is about love and intimacy, what has that got to do with love.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Never did it, never had the fantasy & don't care to see it in porn either, I fast forward such things. All for monogomy here.


Same thoughts here. My estranged husband had other ideas though. Perhaps after we go before the judge next month, he could tell you whether it was really worth it. lol

You can really jump into it by putting ads on web sites like Passion.com and Adult Friend Finder. It's amazing what is out there!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

While I do think there is a lot of male interest in such things, I know that this is not always so, sometimes it is women pushing for it. 

Standard gender generality filter applies.


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## walter (Jan 19, 2011)

Catherine, I do not think you are 100% right. Before I met my wife I was pulled into a 3some twice by 2 women, but somehow we got disturbed both times during foreplay. I did not initiate this, the women started it both times. That's however also true that neither of us had a partner at that time not talking about marriage. That was an interesting experience but I wouldn't try it now as married as I wrote above. 3some in marriage is a different issue, but 3some in general is definitely not a man thing. I know actually more women who tried it than men, both in MFM and FMF.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Whatever floats ones boat. For me it would make me feel like crap if my husband wanted to bring another person into the bedroom. I would imagine he would feel the same if I wanted too. Thankfully we both seem secure enough and happy enough in our sex life to not feel the need to do that. I feel its a sacred bond between two people. Not everyone else. There are also other ways to spice up a sex life besides bringing a third party into the mix.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Common sense is telling me to stay away from this kind of thing. 

Curiosity can be good when we are learning, but when we know it will burn our finger and we still do it, then we get our fingers burned!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

It's an idea that's come up in both of my major relationships, but never moved beyond that.

My college gf and I mentioned it. And, for the record, she's the one who brought it up. As with the poster upthread, she preferred the idea of MFM, while I preferred the idea of FMF. The biggest hurdle, though, was that we both agreed we didn't want the third (whether M or F) to be a complete stranger, but at the same time, were so close to anyone we thought we'd be comfortable with that we didn't want to add that level of potential strain on the friendships.

Currently, my wife has long expressed a curiosity (dating back to high school) of experimenting with another woman. Since that's not really an experience I'm physically capable of providing, I've told her she can satisfy that curiosity, but I'd like to be aware of it, preferably in the room and she's agreed. In part, that condition is set as a bit of calling her proverbial bluff, and in part is because I've long had a fantasy, myself, of watching two women together (as opposed to just in porn). My actual participation is neither required nor expected, but if both invited me to join, that's their option.

This, too, has never proceeded past talk/fantasy, and that's fine with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I know its considered the ultimate guy fantasy, and I had a brief/semi 3some when I was dating, before i met my wife. 
However, now with some maturity and age, I think 3somes are a great way to screw up a marriage, and thats all. For that night, it might be hot, for some or all. But in the end, you're creating more problems than solving. 
I consider myself a freaky guy with a overcharged sex drive, but I wouldn't want to see my wife with another guy or girl.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Was going to let this one pass me by, but couldn't resist.

Yes, my husband and I have done quite a few threesomes and enjoyed it tremendously. Worked around any physical issues and have met some good people who are still friends.

We typically do the MFM or just MM, or we've even done just FM (another male). We've kind of experiemented all over the map. 

We don't participate as much as I would like to due to hubby's medical issues and other problems. But, interestingly enough, this particular activity has caused NO issues. We've kept it completely separate from our own intimacy (when we have it), and it's treated as just something we do.

Now, this may shock some of you so hang on - I even set up a couple of "dates" to visit the hubby at home while I was at work and then he had to call and give me all of he details! I know, I've heard it before.

While I'm very insecure with myself right now, when it comes to this particular action I'm extremely secure - not sure why, that's probably screwed up on some level.

But, my counselor says if this rocks my world, then so be it. 

No problems thus far, but we're newbies and not extremely active with it right now, for obvious reasons.

But hey, if it works for you, who should judge?

And we are proud card carrying members of Adult Friend Finder!


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

Thanks all. My husband has always been against it but I've brought it up a few times just to see what he thinks and he is still set on NO. LOL!!

I told him that it would only be MFM 'cause I can't have another female doing it w/him...but he said either way, he doesn't care for it ever.

I was just curious if anyone married had ever tried it while married and how it all worked out...I'm guessing those didn't work out.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> When I was a teen, a boy I was dating tried to talk me into doing a 3 some with me and my girl friend. First, he started talking about some guy he knew who did it that w/e and joked about it. That was a lie, he started there as part of a grooming process that I now recognize. He finally came out and asked if I and one of my gf would like to fool around. Mind you, I was not even having sex with this guy, just heavy making out no genitals touched.
> 
> Well, I was a timid person at the time but no push over or fool. I think he was rather surprised when I cursed his azzzz out and told he not to darken my door again. Then I told all of our friends what happened, it was very uncomfortable for him.
> 
> ...


In my case, my husband didn't even bring it up.

I actually brought it up and he had to warm up to the idea. But he warmed up fast.

It's not always p**** driven, sometimes women approach the subject before their partners do.

One size doesn't fit all.


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## zsu234 (Oct 25, 2010)

MWIL

Did I read that right that you've done MM, i.e. you husband and another guy? He's bi?


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> We typically do the MFM or just MM, or we've even done just FM (another male). We've kind of experiemented all over the map.
> 
> No problems thus far, but we're newbies and not extremely active with it right now, for obvious reasons.


Isn't this exactly the reason you don't really mind? It seems to have been other males and you basically. You haven't seen him with other gals basically, only heard the hot stories. 
Just wondering and correct me if I'm wrong. 

p.s. I'm not against the idea, always seemed interesting, but don't have any intention of doing it. Just curiosity
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

zsu234 said:


> MWIL
> 
> Did I read that right that you've done MM, i.e. you husband and another guy? He's bi?


That's another nice after-affect of his TBI.

Not usual to have sexual acting out behaviors, etc., especially if the hypothamulus is involved, which his is.

So yes, he is now bi. Has come out as bi shortly after the TBI.

I suspect he's always had this tendancy (don't ask, but it was evident to me much earlier in the marriage), so I've accepted and it's not a problem for me, actually just the opposite I've come to discover.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Draguna said:


> Isn't this exactly the reason you don't really mind? It seems to have been other males and you basically. You haven't seen him with other gals basically, only heard the hot stories.
> Just wondering and correct me if I'm wrong.
> 
> p.s. I'm not against the idea, always seemed interesting, but don't have any intention of doing it. Just curiosity
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't have an issue with FMF either. I'm a little bi-curious as they say too.

The ONLY reason we haven't headed into that area yet is due to his ED issues, there are things you can do with MM, and MFM that don't require intercourse so its easier to manage when something doesn't work right. He is not embarrased with men, but considers it a failure with women, so he's not comfortable with that yet.

Plus, its easier to get MFM, then FMF, women are more cautious. Not a surprise I'm sure.


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