# Ridiculous Stuff that Had Come Out of STBE Mouth



## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

I woke up today thinking of all the ridiculous items STBE have asked me about during asset division. Remember we both make good money.

- How we going to split kitchen utenstils as I owe most of it prior to marriage?
- What you think we should do about the decoration vases (most are ~$20 each) we have? How should we split that?
- How about Nemo (my dog)? He was purchased during marriage so you need to split him too.
- Oh, I have no place for a grill so you need to buy me out of the grill.
- I don't want the freezer in the garage because I have no place for it and I do not want to pay for storage to keep it so you need to buy me out as well.
- Oh, I need to come over one day to get mine share of the stuff in the refigerator.

No only is he a cheater, he is also a low life. I told him he can have all the ABOVE if he wants. As with items that he does not want and I do not use, I will not pay for them just because he do not want it anymore. I have cut all contact because I cannot deal with this level of stupidiness. If he have the face to say it to my lawyer or judge, feel free.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

I can relate. Mine was a little different, he just thought he should get all the assets (of which there isn't much) and I should take all the debt (of which there is a lot). We have kind of a strange situation on our debt and he thought if he just lied to his attorney about what the money was used for, then I would just agree to pay it.
But be glad that yours is at least negotiating. I filed in March of 2012 and other than his first ridiculous offer - nothing. Not one bit of negotiating. We made a reasonable offer and have heard nothing other than the one time that he met with his attorney to discuss it ended with his attorney withdrawing from his case. I can only imagine the stupidity that came out of his mouth during that meeting. Then his next move was to file an objection with the court to his lawyer quitting. Good thing for me though as my attorney said that just pissed off the judge because it was a waste of the court's time and of course the judge granted his attorney's motion to withdraw.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

I just want this craziness to end. I cannot understand what he is thinking of because he is the one that said he want to get it over quickly. :scratchhead:

I am just so glad that I filed as there is no way I can ever be with a person like this.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

I don't know...My wife took the attitude that everything that was hers... was hers.

everything that was our...was hers.

And half of my stuff was hers.

And, if I didn't have a receipt to prove that I bought it before we got married. It was hers.

The ONLY thing I got out of the marriage besides my personal belongings...was the dog.

And I only got the dog because I won a coin flip. 

And for two year of marriage during which she did nothing but ride around in the new car that I bought her and eat lunch with her girl friends... Besides all the belongings and furnishings she got, I had to give her $25,000 in stocks and bonds, $1,000 a month in temporary alimony (1 year) and finish paying off that new car she was driving.

When I say she did nothing for the 2 years of marriage... I mean there was virtually no sex... she couldn't keep me fed nor could she keep me in clean clothes or clean house. She did NOTHING. 

BTW, she called me about 6 months after and wanted the title to the car. I told her that I didn't have it... She asked where it was. I told her the bank had it. She told me to go to the bank and get the title. She didn't understand, title wasn't in my lock box... the bank was holding the title until I paid the car off... She got pretty angry about it. Know why? Because she had traded her new car in for a brand new car!!! And of course, the dealership wanted the title to her trade in...


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

WOW....your story make mine sound sane.

We will see what happen next. I blocked him from my cell phone so he will have to contact my lawyer and if tries to take anything that is rightfully mine (as we make about the same amount), I will ask my lawyer to take half of his retirement as well.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

it is amazing what everyone thinks is important and what value they place on it. Some of the highlights of my so far have been letters from her attorney
wanting candles out of a draw in basement desk. 6 candles and she had a lawyer actually waste time to write a letter and send it to me. The whole desk is hers from prior to being married, yet candles were the big deal.
Got a letter from her attorney wanting the pizza cutter, just the pizza cutter, no other utensils and didnt ask for anything else.
Its like whatever popped into her head at that moment was the most pressing thing and only that item. I received many such letters. She wont pick up the items but demands them. 
Lawyers love this sort of easy billing nonsense so they seem to humor the client.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Everyday I asked myself what I have done to him for him to justify treating me like this. He is the one that lefted me and wanted the divorce. He is the one that cheated. All I am doing is granting his wish for the divorce. 

Argh....i hope this all end soon.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

gigi888 said:


> Everyday I asked myself what I have done to him for him to justify treating me like this. He is the one that lefted me and wanted the divorce. He is the one that cheated. All I am doing is granting his wish for the divorce.
> 
> Argh....i hope this all end soon.


My wife left me...

And took all my stuff with her.

See. her daddy had a lot more money than I did. He could afford to stay in court and fight it out a lot longer than I could.

This was back in the 80's...

My biggest problem was the fact that she had no earned income. See, in the eyes of the court, that made her an invalid. And I had to support her in the manner in which she had become accustomed to living.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

At first when she made these demands for items she was doing it herself directly to me via text. I thought it may be some way on her part of at least trying to keep in contact with me even if it was just to push my buttons cause she knows items like these dont matter to me. I just kept telling her to set up a time to pick up the boxes cause all her stuff was packed ready to go. 
Then she started spending money with her lawyer chasing the little items so I have no idea what is rambling around that head of hers. I too have made offers to get to a final resolution and have never heard a no, or a counteroffer. So like you, she wanted the divorce, she cheated, she made the choices its her show completely yet no resolution is on horizon. Either they cant make a decision or they will just prolong till a judge makes decision so if it doesnt completly go there way they can blame the judge and not themselves? No idea


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Yeah, I have a feeling that STBE want to blame me for everything as he does not take any responsiblity of what action he have made. I am not perfect and I do have partial fault in all of this, but in his eyes, I am the evil witch that have caused all of his unhappiness.

I am just so sick of all these games and want it to end. The positive note with my story is his family does not have a lot of money so he cannot afford to drag it out too long. He LOVES to spend money to show off, so there is no way he can keep up with his living standard and fight with me. I am the money saver and the one with family that can help me out as well. I know deep down I will be ok no matter what, but I just do not understand why does he want the divorce to end up nasty. I am not bitter about his cheating so I am not even bitter about the divorce. I always knows that if someone cheat, I just need to walk away because I do not need that type of ppl in my life. Why can't he just walk away peacefully? This is one question that i will never be able to get the answer to.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Part of the problem is that although you have more resources than he right now, it doesn't cost him anything to contact you and ask for things and if he contacts your lawyer again it doesn't cost him anything but costs you. Meanwhile they seem to get some joy out of it knowing full well it pushes your buttons. 
Mine soon to be ex would text asking for things, then demanded, then threatened with her attorney, then went silent, then started texting all my friends and co-workers that I was withholding her stuff and how she was the hurt party and all was my fault. Then the letters came from her attorney asking for nonsense. I refused to even answer the letters only stating I wanted a full and complete offer or don't waste my time. Refusing to validate her and her stuff and play the game she tried to great fallback of the restraining order which backfired on her trying to get even with me or looking for attention. Since that fiasco back in July there has been no contact, she even refused to come to the court hearings.
She wants me to be the bad guy, you soon to be ex wants you to be the bad person, give them a reason to blame it all on somebody other than themselves. Long story short, be patient, focus on the important stuff in the divorce, big ticket items the small stuff works itself out in the end. at least I keep telling myself that.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Thanks for the encouragement. I really hope it does not end up that complicated. I feel like I am dealing with a 2 yr old kid right now. You give him what he wants (divorce) and he is still kicking and fiighting with you. I really hope he does think about his retirement in 5 years. The longer he drag this on the less likely he can recover financially and retire in 5 yrs.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

gigi888 said:


> WOW....your story make mine sound sane.
> 
> We will see what happen next. I blocked him from my cell phone so he will have to contact my lawyer and if tries to take anything that is rightfully mine (as we make about the same amount), I will ask my lawyer to take half of his retirement as well.


Anything you can't decide on or don't give a hoot about could be donated to charity.


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## 2005tahoe (Aug 23, 2013)

The first and funniest thing that came to mind with my STBEW is that she just took her clothes and the Keurig. Left alot of other stuff but takes a $130 coffee pot?

I thought it was rediculous.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

hambone said:


> This was back in the 80's...


How's she doing now?


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

And by the look on her face at the time, I'm certain that my X thought it utterly crazy that when she told me that I could take any of the cookware in the kitchen I wanted (she'd bought all new stuff, apparently), the only things I was really interested in was a cast iron skillet and a particular spatula...

...because I've been using them to make perfect pancakes for the kids on the weekends for the last 12 years.

The value of a thing is not always in its price.


Now... Continuously asking for individual, minor personal items by way of lawyer? That's just a waste of money.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

synthetic said:


> How's she doing now?


I have no idea.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

hambone said:


> I have no idea.


My answer reminds me of a funny moment I had with my daughter when she was in grade school.

I looked at her test and she had left several answers blank. It old her, "NEVER leave an answer blank... always put something in the space... etc. etc."

Next test I looked at..

She answered, "I have no idea"... "I don't have a clue". etc. 

Well, at least she put SOMETHING in blank!


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

When my first wife and I divorced, she would come in the house and take things when I was at work. More and more things went missing and I had to draw the line somewhere. Now honestly I didn't care if she took it all just as long as she was gone out of my life. That's all I wanted but I decided to draw the line with one little item. It was a small picture on the wall. An outdoor scene oil painting with a nice wooden frame. One day I came home early and she was packing it up in the car and I saw it in the trunk of her car so I pulled it out and brought it back in the house, and hung it up. 

When she saw what I did she said that she wanted it. I told her that she's been raiding the house and taking everything she wanted but the picture stays. It's mine. I like it and it stays on the wall. She got pissed and mouthed off and I told her that if I come home and it's gone, I'll hunt her down like a crazed dog and said it with blood in my eyes. That was 33 years ago. I still have it. Just had to make a stand.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

This issue I have is that I initially told him that I will not touch his 401K and pension. That is a lot of money that I am willing to let go even though he is the one that cheated in the marriage. I just did not want to mess with his retirement which is in 5 yrs.

However, I no longer feel this way as he need to learn a lesson. When someone is nice enough not to touch your retirement, be nice back. He just brings up the most ridiculous stuff and claim it is community so it have to be split. I evern warned him that his 401K and pension are community property as well, but he keeps on his childish act. I have asked him to provide a list of items that he want and I still have not gotten it. All I get it out of the blue questions...how we going to divide vases, food in fridge, and etc.

I know he is trying to drive me insane so I am not willing to talk to him anymore.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Another thing I just thought about. Most of you are male writing about your ex wife wanting all the small items....

Hmmm....did my STBE have a sex change that I did not know about....:rofl:


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Dealing with a child seems to be what they become. You should at least take the stance that you will want half his retirement, you may be surprised though that he may have cashed part of it in already or has borrowed against it to afford a lifestyle. Its happened before. 
He isnt worried about retirement right now or the future, he is just having fun in the present and thats all they seem to care about till the present is no longer fun and exciting. 
Ill never figure out the question either why it drags out, only answer I ever seem to hit on is sooner or later its ends, its final. Then they no longer have the ability to push buttons or keep in contact anymore, they loose the focal point of there bitterness or anger or whatever is going thru there head so they drag it out still holding onto the "former life" so to speak? I dont know its the only thing I guess at.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Honcho, my STBXH, has completely wiped out our retirement since we separated, but oops he still owes me half of it (at least in my state). 

Gigi, in my STBX husband's first offer of a settlement, out of everything in our house that was marital property (a lot of it was my separate property from before we were married) he generously offered to give me 3 things. He thought he should get everything else. Of course, in the bigger picture - he didn't mention the retirement money, and thought that he should get all the assets and I should get all the debt. To him that was a 50-50 split.

He even told one of his online bimbos that he had purchased most of the major appliances in the house and he would have the last laugh when he came through and cleaned out the house. Once he realized that it wasn't going to work that way, he decided that I could have everything in the house and pay him half of what he thought they were worth including his golf clubs. What would I do with his golf clubs? (He claimed that a 14 year old queen size bed was worth $400 and that our new refrigerator (6 months old) was worth more than we paid for it.) Now he is realizing that he only gets what I don't want out of the house and that in the end he is going to end up owing me a good deal of money including half of the retirement money that he spent. Karma is a b**ch.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

At this point it appears that we are going to let the judge decide all this because he refuses to negotiate, so I can't wait to hear the stupidity that comes out of his mouth in front of the judge especially if he doesn't find a lawyer in the next month since his quit and he has no money to pay a new one. Should have saved some of that retirement money to pay an attorney.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

Probably the most ridiculous thing that has come out of his mouth had nothing to do with property. The day before we separated we went to a marriage counseling session where I brought up him being on marital affair websites trying to find someone to have sex with. That very night after I went to bed, he was back on those sites begging strangers for sex. The next evening when I confronted him about it, he told me that the therapist had told me that I should trust him. Then he said, how dare I bring up him being on those websites because that was not what he was doing at the moment I brought it up. He then packed some clothes and left. Saved me from having to kick him out.

So I truly understand not being able to deal the the stupidity.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

LittleJaz - I know exactly what went through your mind when he mentioned the golf clubs because mine did something similar. He told me that I should keep HIS grill because there is no place to put it in his new apartment and he does not want to pay for storage for it, BUT I need to buy him out of that grill. He used this same logic with the garage freezer, generator, and the list goes on...... DUring the marriage, he purchased over $20k of paintings. I asked him if he will take all of them. His answer was "No, I need cash so you can keep half of them so I do not have to pay you for it." I explained that I really do not like them and he said "THEY ARE COMMUNITY PROPERTY." So I nicely reminded him that he forgot his retirement funds are ALSO community property.

Like yours he claim he is not going to hire a lawyer, but will SHARE the one I hired. I am at a lost of how stupid this person can be. He is the one that have been through a divorce, not me.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

My STBXH hired a lawyer but the one and only time they met to discuss the very fair and equitable settlement proposal I gave them ended with his attorney filing a motion to withdraw from the case, partially because he had not been paid and partially because he "would not take direction" meaning he was being unreasonable. He then proceeds to file an objection with the court to his attorney quitting his case. Who wants an attorney who wants to quit but a judge orders to stay on the case? Of course, that was never going to happen. My attorney said it worked in my favor as all he did was piss off the judge because the judge would see his objection as nothing more than wasting the court's time. And here in my state (USA) we have the same judge all the way through the divorce. He does have another attorney who is considering taking his case, but it has been a month now and he still hasn't said yes and now he knows that my husband has already either outright lied to him or lied by omission, so not sure he is going to take the case. Plus he knows that my husband still owes his first attorney money, so probably won't take the case unless my husband pays up front.

All I can say is you reap what you sow.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

My stbxw made the same argument about a grill. she had purchased it as a birthday present for me a few years ago, therefore exempt from community property yet when she came to the house one day and stole the patio furniture she tried to say she did me a favor leaving the grill cause that was worth more than the patio furniture and even though it was exempt from community property which she knew, she still felt entitled to half of it. 
Even her lawyer couldnt come up with a response to that one...all he did was repeat over and over that he will explain yet again that she cant just grab whatever pleases her at the moment. and the grill doesnt even work, the burner is junk. 

Now for me as ridiculous as it sounds, you are chasing a retirement account, with her utter unwillingess to work out anything I am going to be chasing teddy bears, yes teddy bears. She has over three thousand of them, most are collectibles and even simple math would tell you at 10 bucks a pop average which is low actually thats a thirty grand collection. I will be in court fighting for the value of teddy bears, its embarrasing to even write it out and both lawyers laughed, till I said how many she has then they both got quiet.


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

gigi888 said:


> I woke up today thinking of all the ridiculous items STBE have asked me about during asset division. Remember we both make good money.
> 
> - How we going to split kitchen utenstils as I owe most of it prior to marriage?
> - What you think we should do about the decoration vases (most are ~$20 each) we have? How should we split that?
> ...


Wow, this sounds like it should be in a comedy act! Has he mentioned how to split a dog? Just curious. For the food, why not pack it up, leave it outside for the next time you see him. He didn't mention what condition it had to be in did he?

Go for half of his retirement. You are not responsible for making sure he can retire when he wants. He made decisions about how to treat you and those decisions have consequences which I'm sure he didn't ponder at the time of the decision.


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## gigi888 (Oct 6, 2013)

Yes, he have mentioned the dog and when I asked him again if he really want to split the dog. His reply was "G, I will never do that to you. I know how much Nemo means to you even though I really love him too."

As with all his other stuff (other than the grill and the freezer as I refuse to buy him out on something I have no use for), I told him he can have it. I dont care about those stuff. Once I mention, he can have it. He stop the conversation about it. Like, all he wanted to do in mentioning about it is to upset me. Very childish!!!!

I do not understand what he is thinking of. He should be happy that I agree with the divorce that he wanted and be grateful that I did not plan to rob him clean. What a strange person......


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

I miss the dog.


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## littlejaz (Oct 17, 2013)

somethingnewmaybe - I love your quote "Trust starts with truth and ends with truth." My STBXH doesn't comprehend that one. He never has understood that the consequence of lying is that people don't trust you. After our one and only marriage counseling session regarding his cheating, he tried to tell me that the counselor told me to trust him. It just amazes me the stupidity that can come out of their mouths. But as one poster put it - one you make the decision to trash your marriage, I guess all morals go out the window.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

My ex works in an industry that survives on lust and low morals. The only sacrifice she's endured was sacrificing her dignity for dollar bills as a stripper. I look back now, even though she IS the Mother of my child, and I cannot act too surprised at the outcome of her behavior.

She came home later and later, stayed out with the girls more often. The sex stopped, she faked reconciliation and then after we had started the divorce process said that she wanted me to know she didn't have an affair. Trust was gone at that point. Bridge burnt. She had no position to ask anything of me by then... but still thought she did.


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