# OM threatening to commit suicide !!!



## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties. 

As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.

Any advise?


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Tell your wife that YOU are her husband and the OM means absolutely nothing to your lives.

Period.

If he wants to off himself cuz of an affair then that's his bag to carry into the afterlife.


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Tell your wife that YOU are her husband and the OM means absolutely nothing to your lives.
> 
> Period.
> 
> If he wants to off himself cuz of an affair then that's his bag to carry into the afterlife.


The worry here is that she doesn't want to get herself involved in any court or jail term if OM takes any drastic steps.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

Ignore it. The OM is keeping in contact with this nonsense. If the OM wants to end his life - send that information to the OMs family and the police.

Thereafter, NO CONTACT. No follow ups, no "did he do it" etc.

It's balderdash.

BTW - Your WW choices seem significantly more stupid given the choice of AP, don't you think? :scratchhead:


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

As long as she doesn't shoot him and he does it himself. The courts won't care about her.

This is just drama to guilt her into staying in the A.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Court of jail time for what? A guy killing himself cuz HE screwed up? Rubbish. This world (country) has become far too court weary and fearful.

John, your wife had an EA. She has zero...ZERO bearing on what this dude "might" do in his real life. My personal opinion: It's a power play by a guy who lives his life manipulating people.

Don't fall for it. NO CONTACT. No less than such. Cut it off. Period.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

John.....you're still getting played.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

PastOM said:


> Ignore it. The OM is keeping in contact with this nonsense. If the OM wants to end his life - send that information to the OMs family and the police.
> 
> Thereafter, NO CONTACT. No follow ups, no "did he do it" etc.
> 
> ...


My WW realized that she made a huge mistake of her life and she is doing all the heavy-lifting and working on improving her life as well as supporting me in my recovery. She would like to cut all the ties with OM but the blackmailing by the OM is irritating her/me.


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## Myka (Apr 11, 2013)

Contact the police about his threat to commit suicide, then tell your wife to go no contact.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

John2012 said:


> My WW realized that she made a huge mistake of her life and she is doing all the heavy-lifting and working on improving her life as well as supporting me in my recovery. She would like to cut all the ties with OM but the blackmailing by the OM is irritating her/me.


He's a hustler, bro. Pay him no mind. As a matter of fact, let his wife know he's threatened suicide for not being able to contact YOUR wife.


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## Myka (Apr 11, 2013)

John2012 said:


> My WW realized that she made a huge mistake of her life and she is doing all the heavy-lifting and working on improving her life as well as supporting me in my recovery. She would like to cut all the ties with OM but the blackmailing by the OM is irritating her/me.


John. Right now, if my other man contacted me with threats to commit suicide I think I would offer suggestions. I know he's not the one that made the choices. That was my choice. Still. I hate him all the same.


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

Thoreau said:


> John.....you're still getting played.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

anchorwatch said:


> As long as she doesn't shoot him and he does it himself. The courts won't care about her.
> 
> This is just drama to guilt her into staying in the A.


It is PROBABLY just a guilt trip to keep her around. But, if the OM does something rash, like take a gun into an elementary school and kill several children before killing himself, well your wife would almost automatically be sued if she kept his suicidal declarations to herself.

I would call the police and tell them. Then, I would call the OM's family and tell them. Then I would end all contact with the OM. That should protect you from any possible liability for any action he may take.

And I agree with the other poster who recommended against any follow ups. If anything, you could increase your liability for doing so. Tell the proper people and then trust them to do their jobs. If they don't, it's not your fault.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


Yes. You get it! Now, don't let it continue.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

John2012 said:


> My WW realized that she made a huge mistake of her life and she is doing all the heavy-lifting and working on improving her life as well as supporting me in my recovery. She would like to cut all the ties with OM but the blackmailing by the OM is irritating her/me.


There's your answer - what the OM does, or does not do is absolutely no concern of yours or your wife.

It's the same as me telling you that I will commit suicide ... why the hell should you care? Tell the police, and then *NO CONTACT PERIOD.*

By allowing this position, you are jeopardizing your reconciliation ... that's more important.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


Oh. That's a pity. 

You, not your wife, must out him *immediately*. He is a potential menace to his young children. There have been several cases in the UK recently where men have killed their children under similar circumstances.

His children must be protected. By the authorities, not your wife.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


regardless of whether we R or D, a BH will forever wonder, "was he more of a man than me?" But in your case, you won't have that issue to contend with because clearly your WW's AP is not even close to being a man.

My advice is to quietly take comfort in that and go on living your life.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


This was my first thought. Get in touch with Om's wife and compare notes. Brace yourself though. You may be in for a shock.

Oh, don't tell you WW you plan to do this.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


The only thing I could see your wife being blamed for is not taking action to prevent it. Tell her next time he says something like that she should call the police and have him 5150'd (assuming you're in the US).


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## Myka (Apr 11, 2013)

Are you sure this is just an emotional affair? Threatening to kill yourself would usually be over something more involved wouldn't it?


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

MeditMike80 said:


> The only thing I could see your wife being blamed for is not taking action to prevent it. Tell her next time he says something like that she should call the police and have him 5150'd (assuming you're in the US).


There is no requirement to come to the aid of another under US law. If she begins to aid, then she is liable if she does so negligently and harm is caused.

Best for WW to inform OMW, and call police, then stay out of it, move on, focus on repairing the damage she caused to her marriage. NO CONTACT>


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MeditMike80 said:


> The only thing I could see your wife being blamed for is not taking action to prevent it. Tell her next time he says something like that she should call the police and have him 5150'd (assuming you're in the US).


Or have him 'sectioned' if you are in the UK.


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

MeditMike80 said:


> The only thing I could see your wife being blamed for is not taking action to prevent it. Tell her next time he says something like that she should call the police and have him 5150'd (assuming you're in the US).


We're new migrants to USA. Don't know much rules of the law and we never had any brush with the law. What is 5150'd?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

call the cops (not 911) but call the cop shop Monday morning and report the threat.

give him his name and what ever else the cops ask for and they will call for a 51/50.....the POS will spend the next 72 hours in custody in some phsyc ward........and he will never make that threat ever ever again.

In some states a 51/50 is a crime...a misdemeanor, and what better way then to phuck with the guy that phucked with your wife? 

Talk slow to the cop they need time to think but once you can get them heading in the right dirrect with regurds to the suicide attemp(51/50) they will get the picture.

72 hours is a long time to be locked up even if its not in county but in the hospital...it really takes the point home that threating suicide is bad...very very bad to do!!!!!!


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

Myka said:


> Are you sure this is just an emotional affair? Threatening to kill yourself would usually be over something more involved wouldn't it?


Either the strength of the EA or the weakness of the OM.

My money is on the weakness of the OM - not sure that a shag makes a man want to end his life if he's not already disposed to it. 

No matter, there is a lot about this that is still grey:

What does the OMW know? Why is the OMW (and kids) not involved in this situation? Why is John allowing WW to be in contact with OM?

I'll bet it's a little more complex if you scratch the surface. For now, *John should inform police and OM family. Then focus on reconciliation and enforce NO CONTACT.*


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

Myka said:


> Are you sure this is just an emotional affair? Threatening to kill yourself would usually be over something more involved wouldn't it?


it's just an EA and I got all the details about it. It's purely a fantasy drama which was played and latest threat is another one of that but I want to be cautious.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

John2012 said:


> Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


That's always a possibility.


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

PastOM said:


> Either the strength of the EA or the weakness of the OM.
> 
> My money is on the weakness of the OM - not sure that a shag makes a man want to end his life if he's not already disposed to it.
> 
> ...


OMW has full knowledge and I stopped contacting her. My WW is not contacting OM, it's OM who is contacting WW. Honestly my situation is complex as said being new migrant, I'm very handicapped.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Sounds like immature high school drama. I had a high school bf do that to me and I told him that I hoped me made it quick. He never even tried. Nobody that wants to off themselves will barter like this, they'll just do it. I'd be more concerned that your wife is buying into this bs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

John2012 said:


> OMW has full knowledge and I stopped contacting her. My WW is not contacting OM, it's OM who is contacting WW. Honestly my situation is complex as said being new migrant, I'm very handicapped.


Hence, my call for you to re-establish contact with the xOM's wife and tell her he's threatening suicide.

Brother, YOU are the one in control now. That needs to empower you instead of putting you in a place feeling incompetent.


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## Myka (Apr 11, 2013)

John2012 said:


> it's just an EA and I got all the details about it. It's purely a fantasy drama which was played and latest threat is another one of that but I want to be cautious.


I'm new here, and from the wrong side of the fence, so anything I say is pure speculation. 

When I came here and posted my story Ele PMd me details about my situation I hadn't disclosed. I just saw, on another thread where Ovid predicted the outcome ahead of time based on how predictable affairs are. I feel like a meat puppet here now. This is a good place for you to get advice from these people. They really have it down. I hope it all works out for you and your wife.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

John2012 said:


> OMW has full knowledge and I stopped contacting her. My WW is not contacting OM, it's OM who is contacting WW. Honestly my situation is complex as said being new migrant, I'm very handicapped.


As others said...repeatedly.... call the police (not 911) and tell them this guy has been telling your wife that he will kill himself if she cuts contact with him. And then, block his number, email address, etc. The number blocking and email blocking is obvious, no matter where you're from. And that should have been done from the beginning.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

John2012 said:


> OMW has full knowledge and I stopped contacting her. My WW is not contacting OM, it's OM who is contacting WW. Honestly my situation is complex as said being new migrant, I'm very handicapped.


Welcome to the US! Now, inform police and OMW, and *enforce no contact BETWEEN YOUR WIFE and the POSOM (piece of sh1t OM).*

Again ... welcome to the land of opportunity.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Sounds like OM is a drama queen. Are you sure it was just an EA?

Can you contact his wife? Tell her he's suicidal and let her deal with him. Your wife needs to implement nc and you need to enforce it.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

PastOM said:


> There is no requirement to come to the aid of another under US law.
> *yes, you are correct here, unfortunately*
> If she begins to aid, then she is liable if she does so negligently and harm is caused.
> *No, she's covered under "good Samaritan laws.". If she aids someone and harm comes to them because of that aid, she is not liable because she went to their aid with the intention of helping them and if the aid was reasonable.*
> Best for WW to inform OMW, and call police, then stay out of it, move on, focus on repairing the damage she caused to her marriage. NO CONTACT>


She doesn't need to break NC to have him committed under section 5150.


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

Thanks Everyone. I'll contact OMW and authorities and let them know this POSOM intentions.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

John2012 said:


> We're new migrants to USA. Don't know much rules of the law and we never had any brush with the law. What is 5150'd?


Basically, authorities are called and the individual is hospitalized and monitored to ensure they don't harm themselves. Your wife doesn't have to break NC or contact his wife. She would just have to call the cops and tell the, what he said, it's up to them to investigate.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Thanks Everyone. I'll contact OMW and authorities and let them know this POSOM intentions.


*AND* block his number(s) and email(s)!


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


Yes, that's exactly it.

If your wife keeps having contact with him, she is getting something out of it. She doesn't WANT to end contact.

As others have said, STOP ALL CONTACT WITH OTHER MAN IMMEDIATELY. Call his wife, call his parents, call his job, call SOMEONE, ANYONE else that he knows, tell them that he is threatening suicide unless your wife continues to have an affair with him. Call the police and let them know he is threatening suicide and why.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

MeditMike80 said:


> She doesn't need to break NC to have him committed under section 5150.


Excellent research. Good Samaritan exceptions are specific, and defenses - you really don't want to be at that stage.

I appreciate that it may seem like a great idea, somewhat funny, or sweet retribution to have OM committed. I am very concerned that there is no good reason for it. 

The facts before us are simple. 

John discovered WW having EA. John and WW want to reconcile. WW is doing heavy lifting and trying hard. John and WW are on path to reconciliation. OM is in contact with WW and stirring feelings by doing the only thing he can. He is threatening to take his life. OM has wife. OM has kids.

Why confuse the issue with doing something to OM in which John and WW would have to be involved.

Stay focused. Contact OMW and police. Thereby diminishing liability from future civil actions from OMW should OM do something stupid.

Enforce no contact between OM and WW.

Reconcile and move on.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

My wife had a four month EA with her old hs bf.He did six years in prison,she met him a few times and I finally kicked her out and then brought herback.
She knows how bad she fvcked up and feels terrible.
The OM called and texted me for a year,few times a week John,he finally stopped a few months ago.
I went to the cops,it helped but didn't solve the calls.
The POS needs to be viewed with contempt from you and your wife,if he kills himself then good.
My OM kept threatening me and my family,he told me many times he was coming to my house,he set up fights only to run or not show up when I came.
The OM is full of it,its a tactic,its a ploy.
Different tactic than my OM but designed to have the same effect on you and your wife.
Go back to the police everytime he calls and file a new report,keep your eyes open and your guard up.
Let him kill himself,I wish mine would have.
This could go further,today he says he'll kill himself,what will he do when that lie doesn't work?
Careful man,I have been there,only mine was worse....at the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> As others said...repeatedly.... call the police (not 911) and tell them this guy has been telling your wife that he will kill himself if she cuts contact with him. And then, block his number, email address, etc. The number blocking and email blocking is obvious, no matter where you're from. And that should have been done from the beginning.


Could you please let me know what does "call the police (not 911)" means? Shall I personally go to my area police station to report this incident instead of calling 911?


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## Myka (Apr 11, 2013)

John2012 said:


> Could you please let me know what does "call the police (not 911)" means? Shall I personally go to my area police station to report this incident instead of calling 911?


You should call the police station in his area and report it.


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

calvin said:


> Let him kill himself,I wish mine would have.


 :smthumbup:


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Me and my wife went to the station,it did do a lot of good,it starts a trail on the ex OM.
Keep up with it though,the police did call my POS and talked to him.
Go everytime he calls,report it.
Trust me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

Personally, to me, sounds like you got the perfect situation. 

I wanted to kill the OM in my situation...and...well that ended very poorly for me in the long run. 

But if he had wanted to off himself, I would've sold him the rope to hang himself. Would've even given him a discount.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Juicer said:


> Personally, to me, sounds like you got the perfect situation.
> 
> I wanted to kill the OM in my situation...and...well that ended very poorly for me in the long run.
> 
> But if he had wanted to off himself, I would've sold him the rope to hang himself. Would've even given him a discount.


Ain't it Juicer,that would have save me a huge headache.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


Yes, ask her why she cares.
Then tell her tough **** it's you or the OM.
Don't buy into this stupid desperate con.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

My wife wishes the ex OM would go back to prison or die.
She doesn't care if he dies,she actually perfers it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

sounds like his wife is still in the dark about this. you may want to give her the heads up. 

you may want to forward the link to a suicide prevention hotline the next time and leave it at that.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Give him as hard a push as you can.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

i didn't read a single response on this thread.
except juicers, above (kinda funny, that).
my first thought when i read the title was, "who gives a fvck?"


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

naga75 said:


> i didn't read a single response on this thread.
> except juicers, above (kinda funny, that).
> my first thought when i read the title was, "who gives a fvck?"


That's basically what all the replies in this thread say.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Even if he does end up in the hospital, because believe me be won't die, that's not the intention. Do not under any circumstance allow your wife to see him. Even if he is nearly dead asking for her, or she feels guilty or whatever. Change your phone numbers, emails anything you need to do. I'm thinking this is the last "great" effort do not allow it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

cledus_snow said:


> sounds like his wife is still in the dark about this. you may want to give her the heads up.
> 
> you may want to forward the link to a suicide prevention hotline the next time and leave it at that.


Y should he interfere with a scum bag like the om?


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

tacoma said:


> That's basically what all the replies in this thread say.


that's pretty much what i figured.
didn't think there would be a whole lot of "omfg u gotta stop him" advice.


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## Biscuits (Aug 2, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Sometimes I feel the same that I'm getting played because I feel my WW is still sitting on the fence and she/OM are manipulating to keep in touch with each other !!!


I had a hunch once that my (then) girlfriend was in contact with her ex. Couldn't prove it but advised her it would be foolish to try to be a cake eater.

I had a hunch once that my (then) fiance met OM. Couldn't prove it but advised her it would be foolish to be a cake eater.

I had a hunch once that my (then) wife had an EA/PA with OM. Over the course of about 2 weeks EVERYTHING feel in my lap. Wouldn't you know it, my hunches were right all along, while she would tell me I was just being crazy...and controlling, and abusive. Made me feel guilty for reading all the signs.

If you have a hunch...its pro'lly right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you said 'him or me' yet?


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Find out what the highest bridge is in his area and give him directions. but tell him to wait until you buy a bag of popcorn for the big event.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

John2012 said:


> Could you please let me know what does "call the police (not 911)" means? Shall I personally go to my area police station to report this incident instead of calling 911?


Call "information" aka directory assistance and ask them to give you the "Non-emergency phone number" for the police in his area.

Then call that non-emergency number and tell them your concern. The will tell you who where you need to go.

I say this because in my community of 60,000 people, their office isn't always open to visitors, so showing up at headquarters is not not always themost efficient way to see who you need to see.

Directory assistance is usually reached by dialing 411 or 1411 or 1-area code-555-1212

Google is a good way to go too. Most police departments have web pages, with contact info therein.


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

John2012,
I think I remember you are new to the US. As such, I know there is always trepidation about dealing with the police.

Now knowing what I do, please dont hesitate to call the police. I know it seems like a big deal, it isnt. You are doing your civic duty and they will want to hear you out. Speaking from experience.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

The OM has a WIFE! What does he need another's man wife for?

He's bluffing btw. Tell your wife NC or divorce her. There is no reason for her to have any feelings for this scum bag.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

If the drama queen is threatening suicide - that should show your WS what a controlling nutcase he is. Because threats are a form of control. If he was serious, he'd just do it. 

If she doesn't realize her mistake NOW, she may never. In fact, her attitude should be that he is "dead to her" already. 

Maybe you should inform his wife that he is a danger to himself and possibly others.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

Call the police and report it. Also, contact his wife and let her know. His mental health is HIS family's concern, not yours.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Tell this OM's wife about the affair and his suicide threat if your wife leaves him (sure...). That will suicide their affair fast. She really has a nerve. She needs to write the NC and you need to read it and send it certified mail to his house address. Take care of yourself John2012, set your boundaries clearly marked and if she can't stop breaking them she needs to go. She's either her marriage's tourniquet or his.

Nature does have it's natural remedies for patsies. Tell her you will not play second fiddle to a lunatic. If he does kill himself, oh well. At least you informed his wife BEFORE he did it. 

Let me just get this really straight: So she should continue to give him her body with your full awareness to prevent his suicide? :scratchhead:


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

OM unfortunately never actually follow through on such threats. This is all stupid drama to keep her hooked up with him.

So the reality is no one is in danger of anything except the OP who is loosing his marriage.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

BTW, don't tell your wife that you will be telling OMs wife. Check the Baker Act laws in your state and inform the Police of his suicide threat. Call their bluff.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

naga75 said:


> i didn't read a single response on this thread.
> except juicers, above (kinda funny, that).
> my first thought when i read the title was, "who gives a fvck?"


His children especially if he decides to take them with him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> OM unfortunately never actually follow through on such threats. This is all stupid drama to keep her hooked up with him.
> 
> So the reality is no one is in danger of anything except the OP who is loosing his marriage.


Very true,my OM never showed up at my house or the fights he set up,he did show up to a couple but ran before I could lay a hand on him.
He really never followed through on anything he said,all talk.
Let him off himself,the world would be a much better place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

John2012 said:


> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


Yes, this is her *gaslighting you* so she can remain in the affair.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> His children especially if he decides to take them with him?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


that doesnt matter to me.
i remember when my wifes OM was like "im trying to get on with my life and family". so the fvck what?
did he care about my family? nope. did OM care about OPs family? nope. fvck him AND his kids. im just a hard a$$ i reckon. its served me well at times, at others it has been a hinderance. but its who i am.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


And you should care why? the OM made his bed let him lay down in it. Also telling the OMW should take care of this. especially if the OMW knows he is talking about suicide. But he's just talking out his you know what in a desperate attempt to reel your wife back into the affair.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Ovid said:


> How to tie a hang mans noose - YouTube



The level of thirst for vicarious revenge on this board has been reaching an all time high.

It isn't his WS's responsibility to prevent OM from committing suicide, yes. But to imply that OP should actively encourage that OM should kill himself is simply way out of bounds and vitriolic. 

shame on you guys for the mob mentality


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

John2012 said:


> OMW has full knowledge and I stopped contacting her. My WW is not contacting OM, it's OM who is contacting WW. Honestly my situation is complex as said being new migrant, I'm very handicapped.


Does OMW know that OM is threatening suicide?

How is the OM still contacting your wife? Is it via cell phone, email? What method?

There is a 99% chance that this guy has no intention of killing himself. Abusive people use threats of suicide to control others. The worse thing anyone can do it is to give in to his stupid games

When was the last time he threatened suicide?

I agree with you calling the police. Your wife will need to tell them what OM told her. She cannot get in any trouble at all if he kills himself.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

as AR says, i dont agree with encouraging anyone to kill themselves.
im of the opinion that it shoudlnt matter to OP what happens to OM, regardless of what that might be.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> The level of thirst for vicarious revenge on this board has been reaching an all time high.
> 
> It isn't his WS's responsibility to prevent OM from committing suicide, yes. But to imply that OP should actively encourage that OM should kill himself is simply way out of bounds and vitriolic.
> 
> shame on you guys for the mob mentality


I think you are misreading sarcasm and snark as sincere vitriol. I am sure no one here really wants an OM / OW to commit suicide, as much as they hurt us.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

... now a serious maiming, I'm all for that.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

InlandTXMM said:


> I think you are misreading sarcasm and snark as sincere vitriol. I am sure no one here really wants an OM / OW to commit suicide, as much as they hurt us.


its not what i want or dont want. 
its that i simply _dont care_ what OM does. if he feels the need to drive off a cliff, so be it. i would shed exactly zero tears for him or his family.
i think OP needs to realize that compassion has limits. what happens to this man is none of his concern, nor should it be.


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

Agreed. Having APATHY for the OM is entirely different than having ill will. Frankly, apathy is the best place to be, because there is zero emotional investment at all. It's just a long road there for some.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

InlandTXMM said:


> I think you are misreading sarcasm and snark as sincere vitriol. I am sure no one here really wants an OM / OW to commit suicide, as much as they hurt us.


Look, I'm the king of being inappropriate, but even I recognize most of the time when you shouldn't cross a line.

and if you're going to make a joke about such a subject, then at least be funny


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

make no mistake...in my case, i have ill will. ooooooh yes. i *had* to get it under control though because that sh!t was fixin to get out of hand.
i dont care if he lives or dies. but i still want him to suffer. and i hope his marriage is wrecked, his kids hate him and his home broken. plenty of ill will, yes i have plenty of it.
i thiknin OPs case, his wife is simply using it as an excuse. im sure that has been mentioned at some point by another poster lol.


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## frozen (Mar 5, 2012)

Your immigration status notwithstanding, you can call the clerk of the county court house and inquire about obtaining a restraing order against om.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> The level of thirst for vicarious revenge on this board has been reaching an all time high.
> 
> It isn't his WS's responsibility to prevent OM from committing suicide, yes. But to imply that OP should actively encourage that OM should kill himself is simply way out of bounds and vitriolic.
> 
> shame on you guys for the mob mentality


I think it the point is to show indifference. I mean what better way to shut up a lying desperate POSOM than to call his bluff. 

I am gonna shoot my self in the head " here's the gun want me to show you how to load it?

I am gonna jump off a bridge " What to know there the tallest bridge is in the area cause you wanna die from the fall not from drowning."

I am gonna take all of these pill's and just be done with it " Pain killers probably will work best but asprin's the cheaper way out"

I am gonna drive my car off of a cliff " make sure you miss the guard rail I don't want tax payer money having to clean up after your mess"

It's the equivalent of a five year old wanting his favorite toy back that just got taken away. Its an attempt to keep a WS in the affair and that is it. Best way to shut him up if he says 

I am gonna hang myself " You better let me show you how to tie the proper knot."


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## InlandTXMM (Feb 15, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> Look, I'm the king of being inappropriate, but even I recognize most of the time when you shouldn't cross a line.
> 
> and if you're going to make a joke about such a subject, then at least be funny


I love Monty Python. My wife hates it.

Humor, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

But we digress. John2012, you owe this OM not one scintilla of concern. Report a suicide threat to the authorities - here in America we seem to live to protect our citizens from themselves - try getting a super-sized Coke in NYC, for example. The police will respond and a report will be filed at the very least. Most likely, depending on where he is, he may be locked up or have social services visit him for an evaluation.

Either way, you did your civic duty.

For your wife to still not give up contact, even seeing this manipulative tripe by the OM, is VERY VERY alarming. I believe you are in a false R MUCH more than this OM is going to go start his car in the garage.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> The level of thirst for vicarious revenge on this board has been reaching an all time high.
> 
> It isn't his WS's responsibility to prevent OM from committing suicide, yes. But to imply that OP should actively encourage that OM should kill himself is simply way out of bounds and vitriolic.
> 
> shame on you guys for the mob mentality


Sorry, but I doubt there is anything serious about this threat other than it's intent to manipulate.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

No sympathy here for a man who pursues and has an affair with a married woman (while married himself) and then threatens suicide to control and maintain his fantasy lifestyle. The guy's an obvious nutcase, or a drama queen looking for attention. Either way, a true suicide case is worthy of concern and attention. This guy should be given a knife, a gun, and a rope and told to get on with it. 100 to 1 he'd be there the next day whining about how he's really gonna do it THIS time...

If the OP's wife is so sympathetic to this controlling nutcase, it is not a good sign.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Ovid said:


> Sorry, but I doubt there is anything serious about this threat other than it's intent to manipulate.


FWIW, I tend to agree with the sentiment

but do you really think it's worth gambling somebody's life on it?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Pretty much every professional will tell you to treat EVERY suicide attempt/threat as a serious one


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> FWIW, I tend to agree with the sentiment
> 
> but do you really think it's worth gambling somebody's life on it?


It's not a gamble. The guy is an adult and it's not the OP nor his wife's responsibility to babysit him while he sees his fantasy life crumble. His cry for attention should be ignored after referring it to the proper people (police, his own wife...)


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Pretty much every professional will tell you to treat EVERY suicide attempt/threat as a serious one


exactly why it should be referred to a professional.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> FWIW, I tend to agree with the sentiment
> 
> but do you really think it's worth gambling somebody's life on it?


You're right that my comment was inappropriate. Lottory odds that the OM read though. If you remove the post where you quoted me it will go away. It looks like the original was already removed.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

C-man said:


> It's not a gamble. The guy is an adult and it's not the OP nor his wife's responsibility to babysit him while he sees his fantasy life crumble. His cry for attention should be ignored after referring it to the proper people (police, his own wife...)


I AM NOT SAYING THAT OM IS ANY WAY OP'S OR HIS WIFE'S RESPONSIBILITY

I am stating that egging a poster to encourage OM to off himself by sending him a link on how to tie a noose is grossly inappropriate and uncalled for


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> I AM NOT SAYING THAT OM IS ANY WAY OP'S OR HIS WIFE'S RESPONSIBILITY
> 
> I am stating that egging a poster to encourage OM to off himself by sending him a link on how to tie a noose is grossly inappropriate and uncalled for


 OK fair enough. Personally, I would report the guy as a danger to himself, his own family, the OP and the OP's wife. He should be committed until it's determined he is no longer a danger to anybody.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

C-man said:


> OK fair enough. Personally, I would report the guy as a danger to himself, his own family, the OP and the OP's wife. He should be committed until it's determined he is no longer a danger to anybody.



then we agree


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This is a HUGE ego boost for your W. She has a H who is fighting to save his marriage to her and she has an OM who is telling her he'd rather die than lose her. And now you are acting like the strong H who will face down the threat from the OM.

How gratifying for her. How exciting. She's got both of you chasing after her.

In my opinion, she needs to know that the drama stops today. The police are notified of a suicide threat, the OMW is apprised of the latest outrage, and all of your W's avenues of contact are closed off and she goes complete NC. 

Then, she toes the line or she loses the marriage. Otherwise, she keeps setting you up to 'defend' her, all the while keeping the OM in your lives to shake everything up. This isn't acceptable, John. She needs to stop the cr*p.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> This is a HUGE ego boost for your W. She has a H who is fighting to save his marriage to her and she has an OM who is telling her he'd rather die than lose her. And now you are acting like the strong H who will face down the threat from the OM.
> 
> How gratifying for her. How exciting. She's got both of you chasing after her.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I can't agree with this post enough. John you should print this post, frame it, and look at it every day.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


OM had the opportunity to make a good choice for him in the first place. If your W is concerned and OM makes a suicide threat that she hears, let her call the police and report him as danger to self or others. This will also protect you and your family should he proceed with suicidal plans but then divert into taking others with him. 

Then there is the alternate scenario, where she is just using this in order to be able to continue contact. Framing the situation into something it is not.

If someone is threatening suicide, they were probably the suicidal type before whatever it is they say is causing them to feel like that. So, in terms of framing, if you can think up a more grotesque and unusual form of suicide than OM, then you win? :rofl: Nice!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Whether the OM commits suicide or not, it will be his choice and his responsibility. No one is ever responsible for another person's choice to end their life.

Your W's responsibility lies with you, not with the OM's manipulative histrionics.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I don't see the problem here.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

John2012 said:


> Any advise?


Seriously... Sounds like a foolproof NC plan to me.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Ovid said:


> Sorry, but I doubt there is anything serious about this threat other than it's intent to manipulate.


:iagree:

It's just another lie WW is telling the OP so she can remain in contact with OM and not go NC and end the affair. The OM has a wife and two children, yet he's allegedly wanting to off himself over an EA with OP's WW? Gaslighting pure and simple.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

We're getting all worked up here about OM. What was really said? Was it "I'll just die if I can't talk to you any more!" Or was it "Turn to channel 7, that guy standing at the edge of the building, that's me." I suspect the former and his wife is twisting the words to get her way.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

sandc said:


> We're getting all worked up here about OM. What was really said? Was it "I'll just die if I can't talk to you any more!" Or was it "Turn to channel 7, that guy standing at the edge of the building, that's me." I suspect the former and his wife is twisting the words to get her way.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

BTW, I'm a suicide survivor. The guys that say "do X or I'll kill myself" are generally in no danger. The warning signs given off by the ones that are truly capable of doing it are almost unnoticeable before the fact. After the fact you can see it pretty clearly.

And I thought the jokes were pretty funny myself. But I'm an odd bird.


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

John2012, so what is course of action you have selected? what have you done (or havent done)? what did you tell your W? what was her reaction?


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## John2012 (Sep 18, 2012)

Cdelta02 said:


> John2012, so what is course of action you have selected? what have you done (or havent done)? what did you tell your W? what was her reaction?


Bear with me. I'm still processing all the information you all posted here. The OM/family has relocated, I don't know their latest residential address. I need to talk to my WW and get exactly what context OM was talking about suicide. 

I received the required help from you all which is very helpful and I'll proceed by letting the authorities/OMW know and get NC in place. Thx.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

sandc said:


> BTW, I'm a suicide survivor. The guys that say "do X or I'll kill myself" are generally in no danger. The warning signs given off by the ones that are truly capable of doing it are almost unnoticeable before the fact. After the fact you can see it pretty clearly.
> 
> And I thought the jokes were pretty funny myself. But I'm an odd bird.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: 

I see this is real life as well. I know a guy that has been EPC'd (Emergency Protective Custody) to the psychiatric ward for evaluation due to suicide threats, 23 times latest count. Yet the police have to respond to every suicide threat. We know this guy just wants attention, otherwise he would have offed himself already.

Then there are the suicides where there was barely signs. My sister's ex husband hung himself in his garage, but he didn't give any warning.


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## Topical storm (Mar 30, 2013)

Why do you care if he off's himself? There's no no need to contact him or anyone else. Block him from your life. None of your business if he decides to one himself.

Below is what your state of mind should be.

"If he dies he dies, I got the conscience of Drago"- Professor Shine

If he dies, he dies - YouTube


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

Topical storm said:


> Why do you care if he off's himself? There's no no need to contact him or anyone else. Block him from your life. None of your business if he decides to one himself.
> 
> Below is what your state of mind should be.
> 
> ...


:rofl:

But you've got to say it in the same way dude, same accent everything!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> The level of thirst for vicarious revenge on this board has been reaching an all time high.
> 
> It isn't his WS's responsibility to prevent OM from committing suicide, yes. But to imply that OP should actively encourage that OM should kill himself is simply way out of bounds and vitriolic.
> 
> shame on you guys for the mob mentality


:iagree:

Mind you, AR, if they had had to cover a news story in which a husband in similar circumstances had slashed his three innocent children to death with a large knife...


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

I admit I am very biased because of what my POS said to me with a years worth of calls and text to me.
If my POS died I would celabrate.
Not caring about breaking up a family is nuts,the OM deserves whatever he gets.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Wasn't a mistake, it was a choice.

As for OM. Not her or your problem. NC means NC. Why is she still in contact enough to know he is threatening suicide? Why is he even able to contact her at all? Didn't change her email, block him on social media, on her cell, the home phone? Then it's not true NC or R.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

CantePe said:


> Why is she still in contact enough to know he is threatening suicide?


Indeed.

If he had actually offed himself she really shouldn't even be aware of the fact unless it was in the news.

Nothing else about this drama fest even matters.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

You just go NC. Not your problem or your WW’s. 

My WW’s EA did commit suicide. No idea if my WW knows (she went NC before this went down). No details known by me other than a google search turned up his obituary and someone mentioned suicide in the comments three months after she stopped talking to him. Don’t even know why, nor do I care. I felt simple ambivalence about it, with a touch of curiosity about his why. 

The simple pragmatist comes out in me; I’m better off without him walking the earth. There is not a ‘down side’ for me. I’m sorry if this offends some, but it’s just a fact. I do not have to worry about my WW, when things get tough, seeking him out to ‘escape life’ again (and out of her OM’s, he was the only serious threat).


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

John2012 said:


> Bear with me. I'm still processing all the information you all posted here. The OM/family has relocated, I don't know their latest residential address. I need to talk to my WW and get exactly what context OM was talking about suicide.
> 
> I received the required help from you all which is very helpful and I'll proceed by letting the authorities/OMW know and get NC in place. Thx.


Dont wait too long. I dont think OM will do anything. but in the rare chance that he does, you dont want to be caught having NOT informed the authorities. 

BTW, how is he communicating his threats to your W? Voicemail or email?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Cdelta02 said:


> Dont wait too long. I dont think OM will do anything. but in the rare chance that he does, you dont want to be caught having NOT informed the authorities.


Why would it matter if the authorities know he did't inform them?

There's no law against ignoring irrational drama kings.
I'm assuming the OP lives in the States



> BTW, how is he communicating his threats to your W? Voicemail or email?


Again, this is the only thing that matters.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

John2012 said:


> The OM is a married man with two small kids


I can think of two, maybe three, reasons for caring about whether he offs himself or not.

If you can't, maybe you should spend a few hours with a little kid who has lost a parent, or a parent who lost his or her spouse. Or, maybe a child who grew up overhearing such threats, over many years, and would have appreciated someone involving the authorities to help put an end to the drama. 

This board is full of BS's still emotionally connected in some way to the WS, some even hoping for reconciliation. I would bet many of those would be devastated if in the midst of their unresolved drama the WS committed suicide. In such a case, i suspect many of us here would be sad to hear such news. I don't see much difference between the OMW from, say, many of us here, and OM's children from any of ours.

True, he is very likely bluffing. Maybe not. Maybe he is just simply and willfully a sociopathic manipulator. On the other hand, maybe has a horrendously challenging biogenic mental illness. I don't know, and no one else knows for sure here too.

I find it commendable if OP makes an effort to put this in the hands of authorities who can help and/or punish OM, whichever he deserves. Sure, it is not his legal responsibilitie. But, informing the authorities doesn't take much effort, sends a healthy message to his wife, and may end up giving OM's kids a chance to grow up without a suicide haunting them for many years.

I get that some here really hate their WS OM/OW. I don't fault you for that. I really don't like the OM story in my life too. But, if the hate is eating you up that much, maybe there is a better way or place for you to let that out.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I'm no BS.

I'm not reacting out of any bitterness or anger.
I couldn't care less if he has thirty kids, if their father is so weak as to kill himself with them in the world they are better off without him.
If they aren't better off without him I still don't care.
Not my affair, nor the OP's.

None of the OP's business and none of his concern.
The OP's only concern is why his wife even knows about this suicide drama to begin with.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The OM is using the threat of suicide as a weapon to intimidate and force his desires upon the OP and WW, he is essentially a terrorist making a demand,

You never negotiate with terrorists, it only serves to feed them and empower them.

The simple truth is what the OM does or does not do is entirely his choice to do.

While that may sound harsh, the OM certainly doesn't see to care at all about the scar his actions have left upon the OP or the permanent damage to the OPs family or marriage,

While it is unfortunate if the OM does choose to off himself, the fact is it is his choice alone. If he truly is mentally unstable call 911 and notify them of his threat. Them turn your back and walk away from the terrorist,


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Someone who only cared about their selfish desires and does whatever they think they can get away with to get what they want?
Deserves no sympathy.
If he's gone,he won't try it again.
This is by his own hand in a sense,he could have done the honorable thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

tacoma said:


> *Why would it matter if the authorities know he did't inform them?*
> 
> There's no law against ignoring irrational drama kings.
> I'm assuming the OP lives in the States
> ...


Depends on the Samaritan laws in his state.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

PieceOfSky said:


> I get that some here really hate their WS OM/OW. I don't fault you for that. I really don't like the OM story in my life too. But, if the hate is eating you up that much, maybe there is a better way or place for you to let that out.


This bit of psychologizing was not helpful. I regret writing it. It is a fact the attitudes and positions I find troubling here might be held for many sorts of reasons. So who am I to assume what motivates any of us here? I was wrong. And it wasn't helpful.

To be clearer (I hope): I don't think OP and WS should have any further contact with OM. I advocate OP demand NC, immediately, and stand his ground. 

I believe OM's drama and/or mental illness is not OP or WS's responsibility, and entirely OMs.

I do believe informing the authorities is in OPs interest (for multiple reasons). It is also very much in the interest of the two little kids and their mother, whether OM is toying with people or entirely sick. There is no conflict of interest here.

I'm repulsed at the notion that if OM happens to kill himself, it suggests he's weak and his kids are better off with out him; there are many other possible factors here than "weakness", and a "successful" suicide does not imply anyone left behind is better off. I suspect thousands of survivors would bristle at that notion too. I think I know a few.

In any case, I think its not necessary to jump to conclusions about what is going on in anyone's head. It's wrong. And it isn't helpful.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP, do you know for sure if there was a credible suicide threat? Was your wife the sole source of this information as in she told you, but nothing to show like a text/email, etc.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Cdelta02 said:


> Depends on the Samaritan laws in his state.


I think you misunderstand Samaritan laws.

They exist to encourage aiding others not to mandate aiding others.
They protect from liability.

Duty to Rescue law is what you're thinking of and they only apply civilly.

Not much to worry about in general.


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I think you misunderstand Samaritan laws.
> 
> They exist to encourage aiding others not to mandate aiding others.
> They protect from liability.
> ...


Ok I was just being lazy in typing. You are generally right @ Sam laws. However, I did say "depending on his state" or something to that effect I believe. Thats because to my knowledge at least as of 2011-2012, there were two states with a duty to act. I believe Minnesota, and Vermont or New Hamp. In these states, if you dont act, you would be committing a misdemeanor and would pay a small fine (couple of hundred bucks). However, once you are guilty in the criminal system, you are hosed in the civil system. Hosed is of course relative. Depends on how much you make vs how much you have to pay I guess. That aside, I dont know if other states now have a duty to act law on their books.

So not arguing with you, if it were me, I would tell the WW to maintain NC, and without her knowledge I would be conservative and call the authorities to protect my ass.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

People who actually commit suicide RARELY discuss it with anyone. There are some signs which are common, but in most instances, when a person says, "If x doesn't happen, I will kill myself", it is being used as a manipulative tool.

Over 20 years experience in emergency/trauma to back that up. Yes, there are those who accidentally actually kill themselves by taking too much medication hoping to be saved at the last minute, or taking a whole bottle of tylenol that they didn't think was dangerous...

That being said, at the end of a relationship, affair or otherwise, it is quite common for the "hurt" to threaten to harm themselves in order to gain the attention of the "walkaway". I have seen it in my professional life, and when my daughter left her cheating husband, and when my WH went NC with POSOW. So far, they all still breathe to this day. The suicides I have encountered in my professional life did not threaten to hurt themselves. My own sister committed suicide when her husband left, but she never let on her intentions.

Depending on the laws of your state, if the person DENIES suicidal ideation, they will not be held against their will for 72 hours if a mental health provider examines them and decides they are not actually a threat to themselves. Usually when a 72 hour hold/Baker ACT/PEC is put into place, a person verbalizes to medical/law enforcement they intend to harm themselves or a Judge has signed committment papers.

Either way, NC is a no-brainer. YOU can call the police and give the POSOMs address and they can take it from there. Your wife need not even be part of the equation.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Speaking of suicide, just had to share this with someone. It's one of those things you listen to, and just can't leave your car until you hear the end of it. Listen to the part of the guy working at the suicide hotline; just...wow.

PRX » Piece » The Moth Radio Hour 1309


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

John2012 said:


> My WW had a EA and she would like to cut ties with OM. The OM is a married man with two small kids but OM is threatening to commit suicide if my WW cuts ties.
> 
> As far as I know It's just a threat but my WW is worried whether she will be blamed if by any chance OM commits suicide hence my WW is not able to implement NC.
> 
> Any advise?


Tell her she must go NC immediately. That you will not allow another man to hold your marriage hostage.

This reminds me of Blazing Saddles. Stand back or the Sheriff gets it. The bottomline is that no matter what the OM might do to himself, or anyone else the OPs wife needs to go NC and maintain NC. The OP has been advised to inform the authorities on the suicide threats. His job is more than done there. I am continually amazed at how people on TAM live in daily fear that somehow they will be held responsible by the government and should therefore do absurd things to help those that would attack their marriage. Is this just contrived fear and justification for not taking a stand? Is this just conflict avoidance? This goes way way beyond caring for your fellow man folks. There has got to be some dysfunctional guilt trip going on. I was brought up Catholic so I understand misplaced guilt. get this guy out of your marriage. If he is so unstable then you want ot put some serious distance between you. Indeed turn him in so he does not hurt himself or anyone else. But it ends there. I mean hey what if he agrees to not kill himself as longs as he can have sex with your wife once a week? Is that ok? Of course not.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

So E3 your saying that WW shouldn't go over to Om house and take care of him? maybe Op should also go over there and help with some of the chores since OM is in such a depression. Maybe WW, OP and all there friends can go over and help around the house since the Om is so depressed. Hell maybe they can turn it in to a community event....sponsored by Home Depot and Sharp Health Care and the whole town can go over to Om house and help him in his time of need. LOL

Sir you are right on.

I hope my sarcasm got OP a small smile in his time of sorrow


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## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

the guy said:


> I hope my sarcasm got *OP* a small smile in his time of sorrow


Lil' hijack

Can you clarify what OP stands for please? I thought it was Other Person, as in OM or OW. Sorry if this is a stupid question.:scratchhead:


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

op = original poster, 
aka the person that started the thread.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Not trying to threadjack this time LOL

Just trying to bring someone (OP) a smile!

And in CWI that is hard to do.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

BTW did they do a 5150 on OM?

In CA thats a code for suicide watch. In my state the cops can send you if you threaten to off your self.

A 5175 they can send you for 14 days but a judge has to make that call.

A 5150 the cop can make the call and the nut house can hold your @ss for 72 hours.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My abusive cheating ex h kept threatening to kill himself if I left. Quite frankly, after he almost took mine and my babies life in an anger rage I didn't care. I knew he was bluffing though. Dang ex h never did it and it was only an excuse. Then after I left he stalked me for over a year.:/


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I think this response from the OP and his wife would be appropriate...

"Well...................Bye." - YouTube


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