# Join bank account = good or bad idea?



## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

In the year we've been married we've had our separate accounts (even different banks) and discussed keeping it that way. Some people think it's a perfect way to hide expenses but I've also been told it's good so nobody will control the other. What do you think?


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Why wife and I have a joint account, but we also have our own separate accounts. The joint account is mainly for paying bills etc. The separate accounts are more for us buying our own stuff. If she wants to go shopping, or I want a new set of golf clubs, things like that. That way we're not dipping into the joint account which is mainly used for bills and such. However, she sees my bank statement and I see hers, so its not like we are hiding anything or buying things we shouldn't etc. I do think it could be easy though, for some people do do that.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband and I have never had a joint account. Our accounts are the same ones we had for 10 years before we met.

I like managing my money. I earn it, I want to manage it. He manages his. We split household bills and are BOTH responsible so I never worried if he'd uphold his end of the bargain. We take care of our bills, we never want for anything, and if one of us needs money, the other never hesitates to give it. We see our paystubs monthly.

I like it and wouldn't want it any other way. And people can hide money whenever they choose. They can get separate accounts that you'd never know about.

Either you trust your mate or you don't. If you don't, then a joint bank account is the least of your problems.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

We have joint accounts. We have for about 5 years now. I actually prefer it to having separate accounts, but just because it works easier for us. We are both on the same page financially, so its helpful for us to be able to throw all the money in one big pot and do what we want to do with it together. For us specifically, I think it encourages more communication, which is always a good thing. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer though. Just what works for you and what doesn't.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

trey69 said:


> Why wife and I have a joint account, but we also have our own separate accounts. The joint account is mainly for paying bills etc. The separate accounts are more for us buying our own stuff. If she wants to go shopping, or I want a new set of golf clubs, things like that. That way we're not dipping into the joint account which is mainly used for bills and such. However, she sees my bank statement and I see hers, so its not like we are hiding anything or buying things we shouldn't etc. I do think it could be easy though, for some people do do that.


Right, if anything we'd get it to pay bills. We briefly discussed just having a joint emergency account in case something were to go down. I'm still iffy on that.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

SepticChange said:


> In the year we've been married we've had our separate accounts (even different banks) and discussed keeping it that way. Some people think it's a perfect way to hide expenses but I've also been told it's good so nobody will control the other. What do you think?


Control? What about being a partnership and team together?

I've heard arguments both ways. For example, how do the "joint" bills get paid? 50-50? Is this marriage going to be about "him" and "her" or about "us"? Who pays the children's expense once they enter the picture?

My H and I had a joint account for many years. We both deposited our check into the same account and paid the household expenses out of it. We were aware of the budget at all times, and nothing was said about keeping a little spending money on personal items. In short, it worked for us because we were a team, had the same goals, and were always aware of where the money was going.

A friend of mine had separate accounts with her spouse. He would pay the rent and utilities, she would pay for groceries, he made 4x what she made. Problem was as time moved on, since he made more, he would spend lots of "his" money on himself, while she would have to get part time jobs for "extras" like things for the house, things for the children, repairs on "her" vehicle etc. There was no "we" in their marriage. After many years of this, they are no longer together.

So really it all depends on your goals as a couple.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

My wife and I merged our accounts when we got married and have kept joint accounts through out almost 14 years of marriage. We never considered doing it any other way. For us, we are a team that works together, and having joint accounts was part of it. Part of that is discussing finances and figuring out where the money will go.

I think a lot has to do with you and your spouses comfort. What level of transparency, control and independence do you have to have regarding money. I disagree slightly with that_girl about the issuing being either trusting your spouse or not. My wife and I trust each other, but there are things the other could do that we would not approve of. Rather, there are things that we each need to keep us comfortable in our marriage. It comes down to figuring out for you what you need with respect to this issue.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My husband and I have never had a joint account. Our accounts are the same ones we had for 10 years before we met.
> 
> I like managing my money. I earn it, I want to manage it. He manages his. We split household bills and are BOTH responsible so I never worried if he'd uphold his end of the bargain. We take care of our bills, we never want for anything, and if one of us needs money, the other never hesitates to give it. We see our paystubs monthly.
> 
> ...


Same here - separate accounts. We split the bills. My car is in my name and I pay for it, his is in his name and he pays for it. We split the house and child bills. It's worked for us for 11 years!


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

survivorwife said:


> A friend of mine had separate accounts with her spouse. He would pay the rent and utilities, she would pay for groceries, he made 4x what she made. Problem was as time moved on, since he made more, he would spend lots of "his" money on himself, while she would have to get part time jobs for "extras" like things for the house, things for the children, repairs on "her" vehicle etc. There was no "we" in their marriage. After many years of this, they are no longer together.


I saw this with a couple as well. My wife and I would go out to dinner with them, and we paid ours together from our joint credit card, while they would split their bill on their separate cards. I always thought it would be difficult to have separate accounts where one person makes significantly more than the other, but this worked for them, so whatever.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> I saw this with a couple as well. My wife and I would go out to dinner with them, and we paid ours together from our joint credit card, while they would split their bill on their separate cards. I always thought it would be difficult to have separate accounts where one person makes significantly more than the other, but this worked for them, so whatever.


Things got rather bazaar in the marriage of my friend because of this situation. Naturally appliances break down. Since he had spent all his extra funds on himself, they had no savings. She would have to get a second job to replace an appliance because he wouldn't worry about it. Since he was paying the rent and utilities, he felt that was enough.

Sometimes she needed money for gas. He would "loan" it to her with expectations that she would pay it back (which she did).

As an outsider, I just shook my head.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

We have separate accounts. Always have, always will. His paycheck is direct deposited into his account, and mine is direct deposited into my account. The only things we hold jointly are his car and our house. My car was purchased before we got married, and only has my name on it. 

He's responsible for paying x,y,z bills each month, I'm responsible for paying a,b,c bills each month. Whenever we have an event that effects our budget we sit down and calculate out who will pay which bill with the new expense added in. Example: He pays the mortgage, I pay for daycare... when we had our second child and daycare costs increased we sat down figured up our income and expenses and re-divided the bill responsibilities. 

If there's ever a time that one of us is short on cash for some reason we'll write each other a check, no questions asked. It doesn't happen oftern, but occasionally an expense will come up that we weren't anticipating, and then we just hand the other person the money to cover the expense.


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## alton (Jul 18, 2012)

For me it's about what's easiest and what works, trust or anything else shouldn't really come into it. We want to save up for a house, car and holiday and it makes sense that we both contribute into one account, in which case it may as well be a joint account. At the same time it's easier for me to manage my finances (and hers) if I have complete control over what's going in and out of my main account. Hence in my marriage we have our own seperate accounts as well as a joint savings account.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

survivorwife said:


> Things got rather bazaar in the marriage of my friend because of this situation. Naturally appliances break down. Since he had spent all his extra funds on himself, they had no savings. She would have to get a second job to replace an appliance because he wouldn't worry about it. Since he was paying the rent and utilities, he felt that was enough.
> 
> Sometimes she needed money for gas. He would "loan" it to her with expectations that she would pay it back (which she did).
> 
> As an outsider, I just shook my head.


The whole "loaning" money to your spouse thing just seems... odd. We have separate accounts, but it's still "our" money, I'd be pissed if hubby expected me to pay him back if he needed to help me cover an expense out of my accounts.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, we don't "loan" money to each other. Although, if it's for 'fun' stuff, then yea, I want some money to buy fun stuff too! Our funds are limited that way.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

My parents had a joint account and seeing how my dad allowed things to go downhill (he made 90% of the household income) when their marriage went sour also ruined her credit. I might bring it up with the hubby once he comes over.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Yea, we don't "loan" money to each other. Although, if it's for 'fun' stuff, then yea, I want some money to buy fun stuff too! Our funds are limited that way.


99% of my income goes to expenses. Hubby's income isn't as strapped. So 'fun' stuff typically is paid for out of his accounts. We have a pretty tight budget (mostly because of the cost of daycare for our little people), daycare alone takes up 70% of my income. I'm counting down the months until my daughter starts kindergarten and some of that financial burden is relieved.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> The whole "loaning" money to your spouse thing just seems... odd. We have separate accounts, but it's still "our" money, I'd be pissed if hubby expected me to pay him back if he needed to help me cover an expense out of my accounts.


Yes, which is one of the reasons they are no longer together. You see, he never had the "our" mindset which you have. While it might have worked in the earlier part of the marriage, after the children were born, it seemed that she had to work extra just to keep up. He never seemed to pick up the expenses of the children, other than what was minimally required (rent, utilities etc). Birthdays and Holidays, she paid for them as well. At one point, she had one full time job and two part time jobs just to keep up. 

It's not like they were living beyond their means, as she often frequented second-hand shops for clothing for the children, used coupons at the grocery and tried her hardest just to get by while her H would "party" with his extra income. (Just as an FYI- their marriage ended due to drug/alcohol addiction issues that he acquired over the years and not this particular issue about the money).

So long as both parties are aware of their financial situation and work together as a team, either way (joint or separate) is entirely up to the couple.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

My W has only worked for about 6 of the 20 years we've been married, and for the most part, we've always had joint accounts. I say for the most part, b/c when my W received a small inheritance a year ago, she put it in a new/separate account. I was kind of angry about this at first, since I've always dumped everything (salary, bonus, etc.) in our joint accounts. After thinking about it, and thinking about how the marriage isn't so great, I probably would have done the same thing.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Our accounts are so separate that even our children's college savings doesn't have both of our names on it. I have an account for each child in the child's name, and my name, but hubby isn't a signer on them. Our safe-deposit box... my name only (I tried to get hubby to add his name, but he never felt the need to do it).


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

We've been married for 21 years and we've always had joint accounts. And for 10 of those years I was the breadwinner. Now I'm a homemaker and I still control the money. I'm a CPA so it just made sense for me to handle the finances (or so I thought). What I didn't realize is that he felt controlled by me and felt that he had no say in how the money was spent.

If I had it to do over I'd make sure he had his own money and I'd make sure he had an equal say in the finances. I'd also be more willing to let him take over the chore of paying bills if he wanted it. That is something I wanted to keep control over which is silly really. All it would take is about a month of doing what I do before he'd give it back to me. It really isn't as glamous as he thinks it is. Its about as fun as doing the dishes. LOL


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

StatusQuo said:


> 99% of my income goes to expenses. Hubby's income isn't as strapped. So 'fun' stuff typically is paid for out of his accounts. We have a pretty tight budget (mostly because of the cost of daycare for our little people), daycare alone takes up 70% of my income. I'm counting down the months until my daughter starts kindergarten and some of that financial burden is relieved.


Yea, I hear ya about day care! I pay daycare, food, utilities, and my credit/student loans (just paid off car! WOOT!)...that equals what H pays--- mortgage, car insurance and phones (and his own credit stuff). Day care is CRAZY expensive. I can't wait until she starts K next year. Well, I can wait, but you know what I mean


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> We've been married for 21 years and we've always had joint accounts. And for 10 of those years I was the breadwinner. Now I'm a homemaker and I still control the money. I'm a CPA so it just made sense for me to handle the finances (or so I thought). What I didn't realize is that he felt controlled by me and felt that he had no say in how the money was spent.
> 
> If I had it to do over I'd make sure he had his own money and I'd make sure he had an equal say in the finances. I'd also be more willing to let him take over the chore of paying bills if he wanted it. That is something I wanted to keep control over which is silly really. All it would take is about a month of doing what I do before he'd give it back to me. It really isn't as glamous as he thinks it is. Its about as fun as doing the dishes. LOL


My mom paid the bills and ran the money with my dad. And they had the same argument over and over again about money. My dad felt controlled, my mom felt he was irresponsible. When I was with my ex, HE controlled the money. So bad that I had to beg for 20 bucks to buy a shirt. Which is now why I have my own account. Forever.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

SepticChange said:


> In the year we've been married we've had our separate accounts (even different banks) and discussed keeping it that way. Some people think it's a perfect way to hide expenses but I've also been told it's good so nobody will control the other. What do you think?


We have one joint everything. Credit cards, bank account, etc... I have my own Paypal account for doing my side projects like selling crafts I make on eBay, and that's my money. he has a separate bank account for his side business and what little he makes with that. Our main jobs and expenses all come out of our joint account. 

I can't tell you what's right or wrong, but I can tell you my mother annoys the heck out of me because everytime my husband and I go out to eat (she has her own account even though she's also on her and my dad's joint account...though she acts like she isn't) she says, "And who paid for it??" like i paid or something when it really doesn't matter who paid. We're married for God's sake! We have a joint account. It's all ours. Our cards are the same. We discuss huge expenditures. We're a team. There is no, "I paid more for this bill than you," each month or fighting over stuff like that. 

It just eliminates one thing to fight about when it's all pooled together, in my opinion.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

We recently got a joint account. It has been much easier dealing with and paying bills with everything together. Its not you pay this and I'll pay that. Everything is together and paid from our money now vs. my or his money.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

that_girl said:


> My mom paid the bills and ran the money with my dad. And they had the same argument over and over again about money. My dad felt controlled, my mom felt he was irresponsible. When I was with my ex, HE controlled the money. So bad that I had to beg for 20 bucks to buy a shirt. Which is now why I have my own account. Forever.


Yep. When I met my husband he WAS irresponsible with money. I married a ton of debt whereas I had very little. Instead of working with him on this I cut him off. I resented the debt that I got stuck paying off that wasn't even mine. He'd whine that he NEEDED a new car every two years. He NEEDED to pick up the tab when we went out with friends or family. Yes I was upset.

He agrees now that if it wasn't for me we wouldn't be where we are now financially. I never saw myself as controlling I thought I was just being wise. I see now my communication could have really used some work. LOL


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

that_girl said:


> My mom paid the bills and ran the money with my dad. And they had the same argument over and over again about money. My dad felt controlled, my mom felt he was irresponsible. When I was with my ex, HE controlled the money. So bad that I had to beg for 20 bucks to buy a shirt. Which is now why I have my own account. Forever.


 That would make me crazy. I am pretty relaxed, I send my hubby a spreadsheet of our budget every month, and we talk about anything we want/need to do for the house or the kids. We are both usually really aware of what we have to play with, and I trust that he isn't going to bankrupt us. But it did take us about 5 years to get to that point Then we joined accounts.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

It is definitely easier to have a joint account with someone responsible with money. We both can make some frivilous buys sometimes, but we both pretty much are responsible and know when to set limits (and discuss expenditures).


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

DayDream said:


> ​
> It just eliminates one thing to fight about when it's all pooled together, in my opinion.


That's how I feel about separate accounts :rofl: It eliminates the whole, "Did you spend 200 bucks on [whatever needed]? I have to buy groceries and now we're overdrawn!" or whatever people fight about money. In 5 years, we have never fought about money. There was some stuff going on during the separation that I found out about, but it wasn't a fight. We take care of our side of the deal and have never slacked off.

This next month will be a crap pay month because of furloughs, but H already has some money set aside to give me for household expenses. No questions asked.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> Yep. When I met my husband he WAS irresponsible with money. I married a ton of debt whereas I had very little. Instead of working with him on this I cut him off. I resented the debt that I got stuck paying off that wasn't even mine. He'd whine that he NEEDED a new car every two years. He NEEDED to pick up the tab when we went out with friends or family. Yes I was upset.
> 
> He agrees now that if it wasn't for me we wouldn't be where we are now financially. I never saw myself as controlling I thought I was just being wise. I see now my communication could have really used some work. LOL


THANKFULLY, H was super good with money, and still is. He has better credit than I do! I guess that comes from us both being single and living on our own for so long.

But I dated people who SUCKED at budgeting...it was scary! But I never had to worry about H doing the 'right' thing with money. I am never in need or want. It's good. lol.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

that_girl said:


> That's how I feel about separate accounts :rofl: It eliminates the whole, "Did you spend 200 bucks on [whatever needed]? I have to buy groceries and now we're overdrawn!" or whatever people fight about money. In 5 years, we have never fought about money. There was some stuff going on during the separation that I found out about, but it wasn't a fight. We take care of our side of the deal and have never slacked off.
> 
> This next month will be a crap pay month because of furloughs, but H already has some money set aside to give me for household expenses. No questions asked.


See then...there is no right answer. Some couples do good this way, some do good joint.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think it comes from maybe one's past or parents.

I swore I'd never be like my mom with the bills. And then when I lived with someone who ran the money and I had NOTHING...yea. Never again.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm of the opinion, and I don't mean to judge anyone else here....this is just for me, but I feel like if the household money isn't combined then that's more like co-habitation than marriage. Now, in our house I make about 11 times what she makes. All of my money goes into a number of joint accounts. She has a separate account at the credit union where her paycheck goes into. But it's pretty small and she just uses it for small luxuries like the horses. We don't really think of money or other assets in terms of yours and mine. The idea of splitting bills is just weird to me. That said, neither of us looks at purchase histories....we don't argue about that kind of thing. The other week she spent a fairly obscene amount of money on a pair of "sandals", and I could care less. I know she's not going to bankrupt us for shoes. Actually if anyone has a spending problem it's me.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Co-habitating? Hm. We aren't that 

Hubs and I make about the same (well now he makes more!) and we pay the same % towards the house. The extra stuff from his new checks will go into our savings


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

When hubby and I got married 12 years ago, we had a joint account. We have kept it that way all this time. It's easier for us. We each have access to all the money, at any time. If there is a major purchase to make, we discuss it. If unsure of the balance, we check before buying even a small item. Mom and dad had a joint account at one time, but then mom got them into trouble years ago with her spending, and they got separate accounts from that moment on. It works for them that way. They split the bills, but no one "owes" the other anything. It's still household funds, it's just one controls what he gets and the other controls what she gets. Separate accounts make no sense in MY opinion. But if it works for someone else, so be it.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

We have always had separate accounts. Two separate checking accounts (Free) at the same credit union. The accounts are in both our names and the checks have both our names on them. Two separate savings accounts, same institution. One in her name, one in mine. We each have signature rights on them and can access or transfer money freely.. Other accounts, (401K, IRA, 529, HSA and investment portfolios) are in our individual names with survivorship rights to the other. We each have a list of all the accounts and the passwords to each of them. We have separate credit cards that are tied to our bank accounts so we have free access to look at them whenever. When the statements for either the CCs or investments come, whoever gets the mail and opens them for review. Doesn't matter who. We simply don't need to check up on each other. Complete trust. Any purchase over $500 we discuss first. This has always worked well for us and in our 25+ years together we've only had one real argument about money. We are also fortunate that we share very similar views on how we spend our money. This doesn't work for everyone but it has for us.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> We split household bills and are BOTH *responsible*


That's the tricky part. Separate accounts and shared accounts both fail if the other person is retarded.
shared account = they spend too much and bills can't be paid
separate account = they spend too much and their share of the bills can't be paid



> "Did you spend 200 bucks on [whatever needed]? I have to buy groceries and now we're overdrawn!" or whatever people fight about money.


Assuming there's no real shortage of money and all of the bills are paid every time, I think most of the fighting is because people buy things they don't really need. I'm in the process of moving right now, and I'm finding lots of stuff that has never been used. Books that were never read, a dip pen that I used a couple times just to see what writing in the 1700s was like, etc. The gf might get pissed off if that was purchased using "our" money instead of my money.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

go for it 

i do not see how it can be a problem


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SepticChange said:


> In the year we've been married we've had our separate accounts (even different banks) and discussed keeping it that way. Some people think it's a perfect way to hide expenses but I've also been told it's good so nobody will control the other. What do you think?


I think it all depends on the couple, their spending habits and how they look at money. Every marraige is different. 

Me & mine are both "savers", he is the main Bread winner, but he allows every dime to flow through my hands, cause he knows it is well accounted for. I am even a little more of a tight wad than him. 

We've always had a joint account, his money is my money and the little I bring in -is his...I handle all the finances... he probably hasn't written a check in years. 

We've never had an issue.... I have never bounced a check, never been late on a bill, pay every credit card in full the week it hits the mail box. I am the type that makes $$ off my credit cards. 

I think if one spouse can not control their spending, it is wise to separate the accounts though, so at least the spender can not get access to the others account. This could save some fights, I would think.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am the type that makes $$ off my credit cards.


Me too! I love those "cash back" rewards!


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I think a lot of it has to do with the stage of life you're in when you get married. Not necessarily age, but stage. My STBXH and I never combined accounts, only had a joint account that was a pass-through for bills. Largely it was because we didn't even start to date until I was 28 and he was 33. We'd both been working, saving and managing our own stuff for our entire adult lives, it was harder to combine it that to just maintain. And now 10 years later looking at what I might do in the future, I think it would be even harder to join funds with someone because I'm that much more entrenched in my habits.

On the other hand, if you get married young or one of the persons sacrifices their career and income to raise kids, then it makes more sense to hold joint accounts.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

COGypsy said:


> I think a lot of it has to do with the stage of life you're in when you get married. Not necessarily age, but stage. My STBXH and I never combined accounts, only had a joint account that was a pass-through for bills. Largely it was because we didn't even start to date until I was 28 and he was 33. We'd both been working, saving and managing our own stuff for our entire adult lives, it was harder to combine it that to just maintain. And now 10 years later looking at what I might do in the future, I think it would be even harder to join funds with someone because I'm that much more entrenched in my habits.
> 
> On the other hand, if you get married young or one of the persons sacrifices their career and income to raise kids, then it makes more sense to hold joint accounts.


What does being young have to do with holding a joint account? I can get the stay at home parent thing.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I just asked my supervisor this today and apparently my husband and I don't trust each other because we don't have joint accounts. Maybe years down the road we may do this. But right now I am content with having separate accounts. After my mother got screwed over (after 22 years)I've been iffy. I want to see first how we handle our finances. We've only been married a year and 9 months out of it we've been living separately so we need more time to settle and get in the swing of things.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife and I both have separate accounts.
We also both have multiple accounts.
A woman should never have to depend on a man for money to do basic stuff.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

My husband and I have had a joint checking account since we got engaged. Everything is OUR money, and it works wonderfully.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

SepticChange said:


> What does being young have to do with holding a joint account? I can get the stay at home parent thing.


It just seems to me that if a couple starts out managing their funds jointly from the beginning of their "financial lives", say soon after college or so, then it's simpler to combine and manage and becomes just how they've always managed money-- period. In my experience, the level of complexity and detail of managing my money has increased tremendously since I was in my early 20's. I can't imagine having to deal with adding another person, more accounts and management practices for the funds. Of course, I also can't imagine adding the stress related to the risk involved with combining assets either, but that's probably a whole different issue.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

This is a really interesting topic. One that I feel needs to be discussed in detail BEFORE marriage (which I was dumb enough not to do). 

I like what a friend of mine does with her family's income. She makes about a third of what her hubby makes. So, they compile all of the bills (except for individual car payments) at the end of the month and they both put in their money into the account plus a small percentage extra. So, she will pay 1/3 of the bills for the month and he pays 2/3. The extra money builds up after a while and they have money in joint for emergency situations. 

Guess my question would be how to handle credit cards. That was a big one in my marriage. I had never before had credit card debt (always paid it off within 2 months of purchases). However, at the end of my marriage I had over 10 k in debt. Ugh...


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

*Re: Joint bank account = good or bad idea?*

We have been all for one, one for all joint accounters since we married over 30 years ago. I make lots more than my wife and I would never ever consider what I make "my" money--it is "our" money, for "our" lives, and "we" jointly and transparently decide how to spend it.

We traded responsibility for bill paying for a while, but eventually it became my chore. She has the passwords to all the online accounts and I provide her with updates on my financial spreadsheet showing income, assets, debts, net worth, etc. about every quarter so we can discuss status and progress toward our financial goals.

We divide up the account holder names on the bills so she can have a good credit history under her own name should something happen to me.

I can imagine many circumnstances in different marriages with different people, and different levels of financial responsibility and sensibility, where separate accounts make sense. I could not even imagine that for us, however. We are joined at the hip in our marriage/partnership and thus we have joint accounts. (Except for retirement accounts which must be in the employee's name.)


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

My 4yr old found a dime in the car this morning. I had her give it to me, rather than take it to daycare with her so that she could put it in her piggy bank when we got home tonight. As I was leaving she said, "Don't go to any stores, I don't want you to spend my money!" I'm guessing she's a future "separate bank accounts" girl.


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## Mr.D.E.B.T. (Jul 19, 2012)

I think you should do what works best for your household, as long as you are working towards a cobmined lifestyle dream. Combined versus seperate accounts issues can be a symptom to the real problem, trust.


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