# Feminism is good



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

I think that my previous asinine comments about “feminazis” are a result of the general human tendency to see things from one’s own perspective and that this perspective is the only one that matters. This happens in all people (men and women) and shape our views of many different subjects.

I realize that the simple dictionary definition of feminism: “movement that seeks equality between the sexes” is correct. Women are dramatically underrepresented in basically every area of power and this needs to change. My own personal failings in relationships are painful (they are painful for pretty much everyone) and I allowed these experiences to give myself permission to dismiss the concerns of women in what is obviously an unequal world. 

I think a lot of my own sexism focused on relationships (where I have pain) but I never really dismissed women’s abilities in other areas (the workplace and such) because I know (from school and work) that women are generally just as capable as men. But, relationship pain caused me to ignore the advice of women posters here. They wanted to help me change my views but I dismissed them. 

I would really enjoy it if I could open up to a woman, any woman about emotions but I realize that the social organization of the world makes this seem weak. 

I realize that you can’t expect a woman who is virginal or close to virginal to become a freak just for me because I’m such a good guy. I would rather want a woman who understands her body (which means multiple previous fulfilling sexual relationships) and can share that knowledge with me. 

There is a 50% chance that my first child will be a girl (an even higher chance if more children follow that I will eventually get a baby girl) and I can now admit that I would not have wanted her to meet someone like who I was a few weeks ago. But I now want to change.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You're my new favorite poster. Congrats on making these changes in attitude!

But...why did you suddenly change your attitude? What hit you all of a sudden? Because just a few days ago, I was thinking you were a very scary guy...and now you sound amazing...what exactly happened? (if you can explain it...)


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Thank you for this post 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> You're my new favorite poster. Congrats on making these changes in attitude!
> 
> But...why did you suddenly change your attitude? What hit you all of a sudden? Because just a few days ago, I was thinking you were a very scary guy...and now you sound amazing...what exactly happened? (if you can explain it...)


I was doubting my beliefs for a while but the LD wives thread and the ridiculous positions I was arguing myself into is what made me wake up.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

Stonewall said:


> Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.


Nice Ferris Bueller quote! Lol


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ntamph said:


> I realize that you can’t expect a woman who is virginal or close to virginal to become a freak just for me because I’m such a good guy. I would rather want a woman who understands her body (*which means multiple previous fulfilling sexual relationships*) and can share that knowledge with me.


 Is this what being a feminist means - as far as our girls sexuality goes...it's best for her to get as much sexual experience as she can - this the modern recommendation ... What happened to choice..what if she sees value in waiting... rare as it is in society today. Is this OK too? 

I guess I am too old fashioned minded to be a Feminist...I still hold hopes our only daughter ....saves herself for one good man who is worthy of her.. will any be left standing who even cares or finds this a beautiful thing... This is my fear.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I would really enjoy it if I could open up to a woman, any woman about emotions but I realize that the social organization of the world makes this seem weak.


This is so not true. A man who is open about emotions shows great strength, and is often fun and easy to talk to.

No doubt there is socialization that pushes boys to be tough and stoic, and to allow only anger into their emotional repertoire. But this is a very harmful attitude, IMHO, that is contributing to the increased alienation ad disenfranchisement of males.

I've always found men that knew their hearts to be very appealing.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Is this what being a feminist means - as far as our girls sexuality goes...it's best for her to get as much sexual experience as she can - this the modern recommendation ... What happened to choice..what if she sees value in waiting... rare as it is in society today. Is this OK too?
> 
> I guess I am too old fashioned minded to be a Feminist...I still hold hopes our only daughter ....saves herself for one good man who is worthy of her.. will any be left standing who even cares or finds this a beautiful thing... This is my fear.


Of course it's a choice. I think modern day feminism is trying to educate girls on their bodies and to not be ashamed of sexuality. I would rather my daughters abstain from sex because they wanted to rather than because it's "dirty". I also wouldn't want them to be called horrible names if they enjoy their sexuality. Lets face it a lot of shame surrounds female sexuality. Some women don't know how to give themselves pleasure so the first good 'ol boy that comes along that can do that for her gets everything whether he's a good guy or not.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

What does it matter to you about what other people/ society think of your own , private sexual encounters if you are a strong independent woman?
What does it matter to society if two married people have sex with other people outside of their marriage?
What's the difference?
Is this too, not a social construct meant to shame people's sexuality?
After all ,sex between two people is just sex.
No?

So why should feminist be concerned about what two ,or three or four people do in the privacy of their bedroom?

IMO, if a woman what's to have sex for money , become a pornstar, or even have sex with animals , that's her business.
But please don't try to dictate to me what to think of her choices.
That's my business, and it should have absolutely no bearing on her actions.
She's old enough to make her own choices and should as well accept the consequences.

I think it would strengthen the cause of feminist if they were concerned about empowering women to make much better lifestyle choices that would put them in positions of political power and financial strength in a society that still believes that women are just not as capable as men.
Money is power.

Sexual shaming is not and has never been exclusive to women.Men too are shamed , just in different ways. Yes, men who pay prostitutes for sex are scorned just like prostitutes.
[ See the double standard right there?]
I think its high time to abandon the concept of sex as a social currency for women. Having a vagina doesn't make you special, neither does having a penis make a man superior.
So how does having sex make you more valuable?

The only real value a person has is intrinsic, what they place on themselves. This is at the root of personal ethics and morals.
You don't place high value on yourself, then very few people would actually place any value on you.

One cannot fight a double standard by replacing it with another double standard.
There should be ONE standard.

Self respect and responsibility for one's actions is a good place to start, 
For BOTH GENDERS.


And yes.
Feminism is good.


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