# What do you think about this? Ladies



## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

Ladies, do you think a man watching a stripper put a finger in her, and then lick it would be considered sexual? Or is that normal?:|


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

More facts.

Is the stripper fingering herself?


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## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

Yes. After the man apparently threw ones she "opened up" and he commented on it.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Just disgusting.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Naaaa...that had to be a $5 or a $10...maybe $20. 




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

There's really only one reason men go to strip bars - that's to see as *much* as they can see for their money. Some of the luckier ones who have extra cash get to enjoy a little 'one on one' time in the back rooms with the strippers if they so desire.

So, either your husband was in a welfare strip club where only a few single dollar bills will buy you the type of show he described, or he's telling you a story. I'm voting the latter. It's likely he paid more for that show than a 'few' singles thrown at her. 

Secondly, it's likely he saw this 'show' in a back room and not on the stage.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Monkie04 said:


> Ladies, do you think a man watching a stripper put a finger in her, and then lick it would be considered sexual? Or is that normal?<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_plain.png" border="0" alt="" title="Serious" ></a>


 Yes of course it is sexual. And if he is married, he just cheated on his wife. Yes… he did.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

This is confusing. He put his finger in her? First you said he put his finger in her and then said she was fingering herself. And then just that she opened up and he "commented on it". I don't get it. Anyway, it sounds pretty bad but obviously worse if he was fingering her and then lick it. I think that is cheating if that's what happened. Not sure what "it" is either. his finger or where he stuck his finger? Or her finger? If she was just doing a show and playing with herself and licking her own fingers and then "commenting on it", i don't think that's cheating but if you should be upset depends on what you have agreed with regards to strip clubs.

If you've been OK with him going to strip clubs then I do not think that her putting on a "hotter" show than normal is reason for being upset as long as there was no contact.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

UGH getting an STD for nothing, puke city. Did he kiss he wife when he went home?


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

TAMAT said:


> UGH getting an STD for nothing, puke city. Did he kiss he wife when he went home?


Whoa. I'm not sure if he licked anything or just watched and commented.


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## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

JustTheWife said:


> Whoa. I'm not sure if he licked anything or just watched and commented.


He watched and commented.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Alright so are you upset that your husband goes to strip clubs, or are you just asking if it's normal for strippers to be that... intimate with themselves while performing? Depending on town ordinances some clubs allow full nudity and some don't. Some clubs allow lewdness like you describe and some would pull her off the stage if they saw her doing that. So asking if it's normal depends on the girl, the establishment, the city and the county. But sexuality is what the customer is paying for and the more the girl spices it up, the more money she takes home. 

When you ask if it's sexual, do you mean was she doing it just for Him? I doubt she was doing that - she is being paid to Act sexual - It's just her job. She is not really interested in any of the men. Just their money.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Monkie04 said:


> He watched and commented.


So i don't think you can get any STDs from that like someone was saying. Commented to you afterwards or commented to her? Maybe a guy doesn't really know what to say so he just said someething like oh that's so hot. i don't think that would be so unusual.

My opinion is that if you let him go to strip clubs you probably need to expect stuff like this and other things. I don't mean like real cheating/contact/sex acts, etc but things like talking to the strippers - them saying things to him that you wouldn't like and vice versa. Or them doing stuff like this. Or him giving them too much attention or vice versa. But if you let him go then i don't think you can get upset for teh details unless he really crosses the line with doing sex acts there. But "real" cheating is a risk that you take too if you allow him in strip clubs. my view is that you'll always be getting upset over lines crossed in a place like this unless you just accept it.

If you don't want stuff like this then don't let him go to strip clubs and then line crossing is clear and everyone can understand it. In the end, i think guys go to strip clubs for sexual excitement with teh strippers. There's no getting around this and either you accept this and are Ok with whatever that means (unless sex acts together) or you make it clear that you don't accept him going into those places.


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## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

We've talked about not going to strip clubs by ourselves. But I guess he forgot that conversation. I don't want him to go to a strip club, but if he does I want him to be honest about it. Which he seems to not understand that. And I sent him links that talked about lying and the damage it can cause within a marriage. His response is always, "You think I'm gonna cheat?" Or "You think I've cheated?" Because of one line in the articles that said lying about where you are/have been and who you're with is one of the telltale signs of adultery.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

Monkie04 said:


> We've talked about not going to strip clubs by ourselves. But I guess he forgot that conversation. I don't want him to go to a strip club, but if he does I want him to be honest about it. Which he seems to not understand that. And I sent him links that talked about lying and the damage it can cause within a marriage. His response is always, "You think I'm gonna cheat?" Or "You think I've cheated?" Because of one line in the articles that said lying about where you are/have been and who you're with is one of the telltale signs of adultery.


I hope you were being sarcastic about him forgetting your strip club conversation because I seriously doubt he forgot that.


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## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

Yes. That was sarcasm. He "forgets" a lot of things we talk about.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Why are you afraid to leave him?

He’s treated you terribly for a long time!

Life is too short to allow anyone to treat you this way. 

You should want better for yourself.

Divorce him - he’s been disrespecting you way too long.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Monkie04 said:


> Ladies, do you think a man watching a stripper put a finger in her, and then lick it would be considered sexual? Or is that normal?:|


Not a lady, but a man. What do I think? Most definitions of prostitution and sex, would define what you describe as "sex" and sex for money. As to licking a stranger's "fluids" off a finger....that seems really gross and crude to me. But I have been married for over 47 years to the same woman, so I may be a bit unusual.




She'sStillGotIt said:


> There's really only one reason men go to strip bars - that's to see as *much* as they can see for their money. Some of the luckier ones who have extra cash get to enjoy a little 'one on one' time in the back rooms with the strippers if they so desire.
> 
> So, either your husband was in a welfare strip club where only a few single dollar bills will buy you the type of show he described, or he's telling you a story. I'm voting the latter. It's likely he paid more for that show than a 'few' singles thrown at her.
> 
> Secondly, it's likely he saw this 'show' in a back room and not on the stage.


I agree with some, but not all of this. Based on my limited experience, I think things are a bit more complex. A few comments: Most men go to strip clubs to either (as you say) see as much as they can for their money, to engage in a crude/rude/exploitative form of male bonding (guilty in my youth), or pathetically seek some form of companionship they are not getting from women (also guilty in my youth).

I have been to a few strip clubs in my day. In college, I even arranged for strippers at some house keg parties. I took the woman who became my wife to a burlesque house as a mixer for a men's and women's house in college. 

As to the "back room" I think that there is a lot of misunderstanding about "VIP rooms." The few times I went to a VIP room, I got nothing more than what I would have gotten in the main room, but it was twice as expensive. And when I say "what I got" I mean a nice lap dance with conversation. I am sure that there are clubs where "anything goes" but I haven't been to one. 

I always felt that strippers were generally "R" rated prostitutes. That is they exchanged sexual illusion and arousal for money, but not sexual intercourse for money. 

The ones I knew (and that was a long time ago) generally were struggling single mom's who were trying to make financial ends meet and yet did not want to be prostitutes. Being a stripper provided them a flimsy illusion that they were not exchanging sex for money. It gave them a sense of pride to be above that. And most of them stripped just a couple nights/afternoons a week as a second job, while a relative took care of their child. They wanted their customers to keep "it" in his own pants and they kept their panties on, except on stage when performing. It was called "strip TEASE" for a reason. Of course things could either have changed a lot over the years or I could have lived in a prude city.

I think that if what was posted is correct, the husband of She'sStillGotIt stepped over the line of acceptable behavior. Are strip clubs a good use of a couple's spare money? Absolutely not! If the OP's H falls for a stripper, the stripper will financially bleed him dry. The ones I knew were very good at sizing men up as to financial limits and how much they could be manipulated. From their perspective it was all about the money (and their personal safety).


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Huh.

Either spouse going to a strip club on a regular basis would be a line best uncrossed. A husband going anytime is usually a bad sign.

There were times pre marriage I went, in Texas, and it wasn't a big thing......when single.
I dated the CPA of one club for a while, it wasn't too strange, but I spent a lot of time at the club with her. 
btw, if one went to the (most any) club with significant money, there are very different VIP areas then mentioned. 

When single (and I'm not saying it was a good use of my time) I've been to strip clubs across the country and overseas. But in hindsight wouldn't have. Nothing bad ever happened but it's not an example of my best judgment. 

A good rule - if one see candy regularly, eventually one will taste candy. See strippers regularly, one will eventually catch an eye. Or more.

Well, you get my drift, anyway.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

So I'm taking this as the stripper fingered herself and then licked her own finger. I mean you can't control what the strippers do as part of their show. I would assume what is described happened during a private lap dance in a private room.

Personally I've been to one strip clubs with friends in college and then I've been to 6 with my wife. I can tell you from my perspective, if you've never gone to a club, gotten a vip table overlooking the place and watch the entire scene you're missing out. If you just sit and watch the ease that these girls just take guys money is remarkable and funny. When you're at a club with your wife you get really good service and lots of attention from the performers. We end up just sitting and chatting with the dancers for a few minutes and the stories we have heard are hilarious. One girl told us the night before a business guy paid her 5k to sit and drink with him for 2 hours. She didn't dance nothing just sat there and drank with him for a couple of hours and got paid 2500 and hour. 

After midnight it becomes more of a sad scene with drunk guys doing dumb stuff and getting aggressively booted from the club, also funny to watch. 

I think if a stripper did the finger lick thing in front of me I wouldn't think much of it maybe I would think she's signaling she'll do more for money but I'd probably just find it odd.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Zombie thread. The OP hasn't been back to this thread since September.



Young at Heart said:


> As to the "back room" I think that there is a lot of misunderstanding about "VIP rooms." The few times I went to a VIP room, I got nothing more than what I would have gotten in the main room, but it was twice as expensive. And when I say "what I got" I mean a nice lap dance with conversation. I am sure that there are clubs where "anything goes" but I haven't been to one.


 Nope, no misunderstanding. You may not have been to one, but they do exist. I've known more than one man who got more than a private dance in a 'back room' at a local strip club. Not every place caters to this, but they DO exist.



> I think that if what was posted is correct, the husband of She'sStillGotIt stepped over the line of acceptable behavior.


LOL...it wasn't* my* husband who did this. It was the husband of the OP. If it _were_ my husband, I'd be sporting a brand new sparkly piece of expensive jewelry. :grin2:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Zombie thread. The OP hasn't been back to this thread since September.
> 
> 
> Nope, no misunderstanding. You may not have been to one, but they do exist. I've known more than one man who got more than a private dance in a 'back room' at a local strip club. Not every place caters to this, but they DO exist.
> ...


*
*

And, I suspect, he'd be sporting a bandage from the surgical amputation of said finger, an ice pack to his nuts and a round of antibiotics to ward off the diseases from that nasty little 'taste'.


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## Monkie04 (Sep 16, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Zombie thread. The OP hasn't been back to this thread since September.
> 
> 
> Nope, no misunderstanding. You may not have been to one, but they do exist. I've known more than one man who got more than a private dance in a 'back room' at a local strip club. Not every place caters to this, but they DO exist.
> ...


Zeff

I was on here yesterday. Before you posted that....😂


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

".....put a finger in her, and then lick it would be considered sexual? Or is that normal?......"

Wasn't this another post, I already commented on?

Yes that is crude/gross and over the line for behavior form a married man.

The use of spare cash for getting aroused by a stripper is not how a good husband spends his family's money.

You need to talk to him and set some boundaries. Understand that strippers know how to drain a man of his cash and have no concern for him or his family. No it is not normal!


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