# sex appeal..what do women like that gets them attracted



## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

So I have been working on creating a new way of being..where influence sexual energy...what is sexy..in a guy.. what drives women...to think of sex..when they sspend time with a guy ?

Love to hear..what wwomen look for when..iit comes to what a guy wears...things he says...energy..relaxed manner..etc.

Love to hear...what opens sexual energy up for women...


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I find women are always looking at the size of my ass package - I mean wallet - in deciding how arousing I am.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Cletus said:


> I find women are always looking at the size of my ass package - I mean wallet - in deciding how arousing I am.


Do I.O.U.'s count?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

One thing I really find sexy is when a man doesn't think all women find the same things sexy.


----------



## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

That'sa good one


----------



## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

happybuddha said:


> So I have been working on creating a new way of being..where influence sexual energy...what is sexy..in a guy.. what drives women...to think of sex..when they sspend time with a guy ?
> 
> Love to hear..what wwomen look for when..iit comes to what a guy wears...things he says...energy..relaxed manner..etc.
> 
> Love to hear...what opens sexual energy up for women...



Interesting question. But have you ever walked down the mall and found the fat guy walking with the hottest girl? And asked yourself how is that? My wife says it's not always about looks. It's more about how a women feels about you as a person and how she is treated. That's a start.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Confidence
Sense of humor
Good teeth
Engaging eyes
Strong shoulders
Well groomed

Take any one of those things and ask 10 to describe what confidence looks like in a man and you'll get 7 answers. Not 10 because some women will say, but that doesn't turn me on really much.

What turns your wife on?


----------



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

A big wad of ca$h. Ladies I'm joking.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Lila said:


> The man I find sexy.....
> 
> 
> He can speak Russian... in French
> ...


He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks Dos Equis. 

Stay thirsty, friends.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

happybuddha said:


> So I have been working on creating a new way of being..where influence sexual energy...what is sexy..in a guy.. what drives women...to think of sex..when they sspend time with a guy ?
> 
> Love to hear..what wwomen look for when..iit comes to what a guy wears...things he says...energy..relaxed manner..etc.
> 
> Love to hear...what opens sexual energy up for women...


There's different women. Some women like qualities that aren't necessarily the most dominant Alpha, makes their heart melt. Of course Alpha is great for spark.


----------



## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Confidence
> 
> ...describe what confidence looks like in a man...


Maybe "egotistical"?

Do a lot of women confuse "confidence" with "arrogance," or maybe that's just my perception.

Perhaps there's some alternate universe where "humility" is sexy....


----------



## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

I like a guy who knows how to laugh and is a little shy. That's something I look for in a partner, for sex, I like guys that are full of them self haha 
I generally like a man who looks after himself, has no problem expressing his feelings, is a good talker and looks after his lady.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Arrogance = huge turn off and I would guess that any half intelligent woman can tell the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Money is not a turn on for me, I have my own. Any man that thinks he could get me just because he has cash is not my type. 
But the flip side is that he has to be hard working and earning huge amounts of money, not to support me ( I support myself and my kids 100%) but because I need a man that is financially equal. Big earners also tend to be strong, powerful types IME. 

The things that drive me wild about my partner are:
Big, strong shoulders and arms.
Tall.
Strong legs.
Facial hair.
Looks sexy as hell in his business suits.
The way he is always grabbing at me, kissing me from behind, holding my hand, hugging me at every opportunity. The way he pinches my arse, whistles at me or comments on my appearance every day.
His high sex drive and desire.
His exceptionally high IQ.
His exceptionally high EQ.
His communications skills.
His cooking skills.
SOH.
The way he smells.
His incredibly sexy voice.


----------



## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Self confidence (yes, as opposed to arrogance) shown in how he discusses things and expresses his opinion.
Interested in me and 'looks' after me. ie. makes sure I have what I need first.
Sense of humor - a bit ribald, but not crass. Doesn't take himself too seriously. Teases but in a kind, gentle way. Not sarcastic or mean (which I HATE)
High EQ
Smart
Happy in what he does
A good father or pet owner


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

A big penis.

Kidding. 

Just want to start some s*t and another penis thread.


----------



## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

What is A high EQ....


----------



## happybuddha (Aug 9, 2014)

Some more questions :

Do women look at a guys shoes ?

Do women like a clean shaved face ?

How about a man who shaves off his body hair..or gets laser or wax..to be smooth...

How about Men...who wear jewelry. ..


what kind of underwear on a man turn you on?

How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?

Skin...do women like soft skin...or rougher...on men....

How about sex...what if man wants sex..all of the time. ..

any women like a picnic on the beach with chocolate. ..fruit...wine...at sunset. ..bring a big blanket....

what's the most romantic thing a guys ever done for you....?

Where's tthe crazy ist place you have had sex?


----------



## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

As mentioned upthread, not all women find the same things sexy. There is no "one size fits all" that can be applied here.

Are you trying to attract the attention of a specific woman, or just women in general? If it's a specific woman, why not just ask her what she finds sexy?


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Rooster2014 said:


> Interesting question. But have you ever walked down the mall and found the fat guy walking with the hottest girl? And asked yourself how is that? My wife says it's not always about looks. It's more about how a women feels about you as a person and how she is treated. That's a start.


On TAM we would think that's impossible. But i hear you, one component of why these relationship that don't "look" right to an outsider can be very strong is because of how the person is made to feel.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

bestyet2be said:


> Perhaps there's some alternate universe where "humility" is sexy....


Not an alternate universe, this universe right here. There are plenty of women who think humility is sexy and who don't really register confidence as sexy. We're not all the same. I've known many women who would never pick the outwardly confident guy.

Also, some guys (and gals too, for that matter) are confident but do not show it outwardly and thus appear completely humble. It is possible to be both.

Anyway, point is...chicks dig dudes. Dudes of all shapes, sizes and types. There's a Jane for every D*ck. (he he)


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Buddha, every woman will answer differently because we each have our preferences. Here are mine:

*Do women look at a guys shoes ?*

Yes but I normally notice his face/body first.
_
Do women like a clean shaved face ?_

Yes but I am partial to a little bit of scruff. I like to run my hands over it, petting it.

_How about a man who shaves off his body hair..or gets laser or wax..to be smooth...
_

HELL NO. I like natural.

_How about Men...who wear jewelry. .._

I like it. But not something ridiculous.

_what kind of underwear on a man turn you on?_

Boxer briefs or boxers.

_How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?
_

What turns me on is how he treats me. Howver, I would not be inclined to date a homeless man with no job or prospects or ambition.

_Skin...do women like soft skin...or rougher...on men...._

A little rough around the edges. I love soft feet though.

_How about sex...what if man wants sex..all of the time. .._

Then he does. 

_any women like a picnic on the beach with chocolate. ..fruit...wine...at sunset. ..bring a big blanket...._

Yes. I love all that stuff. 

_what's the most romantic thing a guys ever done for you....?_

_Where's tthe crazy ist place you have had sex?_

A lady never tells.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> One thing I really find sexy is when a man doesn't think all women find the same things sexy.


I see what you did there


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> A big penis.
> 
> Kidding.
> 
> Just want to start some s*t and another penis thread.


you can never have too many penis threads!


----------



## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

Cleigh said:


> I like a guy who knows how to laugh and is a little shy. That's something I look for in a partner, for sex, I like guys that are full of them self haha
> I generally like a man who looks after himself, has no problem expressing his feelings, is a good talker and looks after his lady.



This was a joke (I think?) But I was thinking this too and feel it *is* true.

It's hard for (many, most?) "relationship material" type guys to come to grips with, but for many women the guy they "settle down with" and the guy they have "meaningless sex" with are *two different guys*. And I've learned over the years that women consider this a *good* thing. Meaning that if you're the guy they settle down with, this means that you're special/better than all the guys they just had sex with even though you waited a month and those guys waited the duration of a cab ride  It's a big disconnect between men and women because I think most guys have a really hard time viewing it this way. Gender realities in the modern world make it even more complex... I think about my circle of (middle aged now) friends and I can't really think of a *single* woman I know who *hasn't* had at least a few "casual flings" purely for the thrill over the years. When I think of my guy friends, it's a real minority few who have been able to do that and nearly all of them have only been intimate inside of a relationship they worked at. It's just how things work really.

For the OP... you can't engineer yourself into that second guy no matter what the "game scientists" want you to believe or how much data you collect on "the ideal man".

Every guy likes to imagine that they'd fit the bill as their wifes "secret fantasy, would do in a second no questions asked" type, but I wonder how often it's really the case. Most guys need to just work on knowing who they actually are, and being fully comfortable with it, and then getting on with their life. A guy confident in who he is and not desperately trying to fit some profile as a means to an end is a guy that is likely to find an actual meaningful relationship if he's open to it.

Focus on quality and not quantity and you'll be way better off.


----------



## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Nice smile with good teeth. 

I like stubble facial hair, though H can't have due to work unless he takes leave.

I like chest hair - so long as it doesn't bury me alive if I lay my head down on the chest. Keep it neat, and I love it. It's manly. 

Taller than me at 5'6"-ish. H is 6 ft.

H has the most beautiful eyes. They are like aqua/teal in color. Not quite blue, not quite green. 

I like it when a man takes charge and says what he actually feels/thinks regardless of how I might feel. Don't be straight up rude, but don't hold back your feelings either.

I like confidence, not arrogance. 

The ability to laugh at yourself. H and I do this A LOT! 

Dress appropriately. This means leaving my Everquest shirt for home use only!! You should leave your WoW shirt in the closet as well for going out. 

H has this amazing ability to turn me on in like 2 seconds by looking at me right. I don't know if that's an acquired skill - but it's awesome! 

Own a pair of cowboy boots. Just in case. 

It's different for everyone. I could add several more things to that list because these are attributes and characteristics that I find attractive in my H. No one else compares. He IS the person I dreamed of - aside from his affairs, but yeah....

Every woman is different. I like Alpha. Some like Beta. Some like money, some like personality. What some might find nerdy, others will find attractive. It's a big ole world full of people with different tastes.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> Own a pair of cowboy boots. Just in case.
> 
> .


so you can "die with your boots on"??


----------



## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, some guys (and gals too, for that matter) are confident but do not show it outwardly and thus appear completely humble. * It is possible to be both.*
> 
> Anyway, point is...chicks dig dudes. Dudes of all shapes, sizes and types. There's a Jane for every D*ck. (he he)


:iagree:
Over confidence is obnoxious. I class egotism and arrogance in that category.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Faithful Wife said:


> Not an alternate universe, this universe right here. There are plenty of women who think humility is sexy and who don't really register confidence as sexy. We're not all the same. *I've known many women who would never pick the outwardly confident guy*.
> 
> Also, some guys (and gals too, for that matter) are confident but do not show it outwardly and thus appear completely humble. It is possible to be both.
> 
> Anyway, point is...chicks dig dudes. Dudes of all shapes, sizes and types. There's a Jane for every D*ck. (he he)


I am one of those where the overly confident would be more of a turn off...whether it is right or wrong, I tend to associate those type men with too many women at his disposal (since women eat up confidence)...and if he's still single, probably enjoying that just fine ...where as I would be more interested in finding something exclusive...lasting...romantic.. deep... so I tend to gravitate more to the introverted types..more humble...


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Lila said:


> The man I find sexy.....
> 
> 
> He can speak Russian... in French
> ...


He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he drinks 'dos equis'.

He is the most interesting man in the world!


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I am attracted to casual, because that is how I am. 

- Tall. 

- Larger build.

- Pretty eyes

- nice smile, dimples are a HUGE bonus!

- Jeans, tshirt, boots (motorcycle/work/hikers...cowboy boots only if that is authentically who he is) Sneaks are cool too, as long as they are not dorky/outdated.

- I am very attracted to bikers and cowboys, I admit it!

- I do like a little scruff on the face.

- I am finding myself really liking the bald-goatee combo, but it isnt required to catch my attention.

- I like men on the quiet side..soft spoken, quiet easy going demeanor. 

- Easy laugh.


----------



## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Thought I would address these questions as well. 




happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ? *Sure we do.*
> 
> ...


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Holland said:


> ...the flip side is that he has to be hard working and *earning huge amounts of money*, not to support me ( I support myself and my kids 100%) but because I need a man that is financially equal. Big earners also tend to be strong, powerful types IME.


Interesting criteria...

No way do I need a man who earns "huge amounts of money." Been down that road, doesn't necessarily pan out at all IMHO. Plus I also have "my own money"; don't need anyone to provide for me or my children.

My man earns good money; a solid job, good industry, good benefits, job is very secure -- not many people can do what he does.

Does he earn HUGE amounts of money?! Nope! Does he earn good money?! Yep!

His future is secure. My future is secure. We're in love. He's smart, sexy, kind, considerate, generous, financially responsible. Would I NOT be with him *because his income isn't HUGE?!* Nope. He's the best thing I've ever laid eyes on. 

That's all I need.


----------



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

I can make a koala call by cupping my hands together and pushing air through them.

Gets them hot and bothered every time.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

happybuddha said:


> So I have been working on creating a new way of being..where influence sexual energy...what is sexy..in a guy.. what drives women...to think of sex..when they spend time with a guy ?
> 
> Love to hear..what women look for when..it comes to what a guy wears...things he says...energy..relaxed manner..etc.
> 
> Love to hear..*.what opens sexual energy up for women..*.


 Every woman is so different in what she is looking for in a man, in a relationship...is it JUST for sex, or is she seeking something long term, commitment? 

There would be no sexual energy given to a fling.. I come from an older fashioned view...what turns my head would be similar values, beliefs, what we had in common,laughing , enjoying each others company ... learning the man was attracted to MY TYPE ...and was seeking similar things.. then upon his treatment of me.. only then.. would I come alive and allow more of my sexual guard down -to open up to him in this way.. 

I go for the more family man types, the more sensitive men who seek Love.. not just sex.... Honest, responsible.. not into game playing..can count on his word.. .. a more old time Romance ....Hard to find in today's society.... why it would suck to be single , I can only imagine the let downs!



happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> *Do women look at a guys shoes ?* I DO NOTICE these things.. but like Jellybeans said.. I would notice his FACE & body first... but I love a man IN BOOTS....take the same man, put him in boots, flip flops or tennis shoes.. hands down the BOOTS add to this masculinity and appeal -for me...
> 
> ...


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Lila said:


> The man I find sexy.....
> 
> 
> He can speak Russian... in French
> ...


The boogeyman checks under his bed to make sure sexy man is not there.
He fought himself and won... Twice
He fought the law and the law lost.
John Holmes asked him what it was like to be so big.

Sorry


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Youz ladies are all so funny. 

In reality...

Deep down, the hydroxyl groups on his pheromones fit into those special receptors in your sinuses just perfectly, sending strong electrical currents running through your hypothalamus, and raising the hairs on your arms and back of your neck, giving you the "love shivers". At that instance, an alarm went off deep inside your inner cortex, as you subconsciously realized that the offspring between the two of you wouldn't come out looking like gods genetic vomit. 

How's that for sexy talk.


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I ain't gonna lie alphaomega it's a bit full on.


----------



## SunnyWife (Aug 6, 2014)

happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ?
> 
> ...


on the beach at sunrise


----------



## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

*"How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?* Money has nothing to do with sex appeal to me.. but if wanting a long term relationship.. it is important to know something of the man's history with money...is his job stable, can he live within his means.. is he a frivolous spender...is he a show off in big debt ?? That would be 100 times worse...It's not what he Earns.. but how he manages what he has... 6 figures actually give off warning signs in my head that such a man is probably a workaholic & probably has little time for a woman /family"

I recall a casual conversation with a secretary who'd broken off a relationship with a guy who was apparently shockingly wealthy. There might have been a touch of regret, but overall it sounded like she was correctly feeling she'd made the right decision.

Yes, "workaholic" (loving the work and the money more that all else in life) seems like one risk. But there are others. People who have lots of money may well have, one way or another, sold their souls for the money.

Overall, wealthy people are at risk of just being really spoiled, like that secretary's ex.

*"Just so we have a place to stay and pay the utilities, groceries, keep the car running; that sort of thing. As long as our basic needs are met with a little bit of spending money; then I'm okay."

*Sounds wise!


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

bestyet2be said:


> *"How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?* Money has nothing to do with sex appeal to me.. but if wanting a long term relationship.. it is important to know something of the man's history with money...is his job stable, can he live within his means.. is he a frivolous spender...is he a show off in big debt ?? That would be 100 times worse...It's not what he Earns.. but how he manages what he has... 6 figures actually give off warning signs in my head that such a man is probably a workaholic & probably has little time for a woman /family"
> 
> I recall a casual conversation with a secretary who'd broken off a relationship with a guy who was apparently shockingly wealthy. There might have been a touch of regret, but overall it sounded like she was correctly feeling she'd made the right decision.
> 
> ...


I spoke about this on my Purpose thread ....it wasn't about $$$ being a TURN ON (which was the question here).... but it's relationship to overall "happiness" / contentment with life...

Copying & pasting my last post below.....when it comes to happiness... of course it makes a different if one only earns $5,000 a year -YOUR BASIC NEEDS are NOT BEING MET....you are scrounging, having to beg, borrow....it's humiliating.. but when it comes to making $50,000 to $500,000 a year.... the research around the world has shown (what led to this film being made to begin with)...that it makes no overall difference in Happiness ... (again when Basic needs are MET)...... 

My Husband works with a guy who thinks we are nuts cause we didn't jump when the Gas well drillers came around , we could have had $180,000 (minus taxes) for signing a lease for our land (to drill)......we kept sending them away.. we cared more about not having THAT THING near our property....(maybe we were stupid, I don't know).... this guy buys $50,000 new trucks, tired of his $600 cell phone & wants a $700 cell phone.....we went out to eat with them the other day, he's talking about how his goal at retirement is to have everything NEW in his house.. he was upset his wife couldn't collect 2 pensions, and how this burns him...

Yet we drive there in our 23 yr old beater Buick (well it does have a new paint job)....park beside the other co-worker & his baby smooth







......we probably should have been embarrassed.. but we're happy...it's such a different lifestyle... my husband is fond of saying to the one Co-worker ..."What are you going to do... take it all with you, put it in your coffin?"... 

I just don't see all that necessary to my fulfillment.. Oh it's nice & all.. but if it sacrifices too much of our time together adding to the stress...if we could make it on less... even if we have to be frugal many times... I'm good with that.

That post on that thread... about the research...



> *SimplyAmorous said*: A good friend of mine suggested I watch
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Interesting criteria...
> 
> No way do I need a man who earns "huge amounts of money." Been down that road, doesn't necessarily pan out at all IMHO. Plus I also have "my own money"; don't need anyone to provide for me or my children.
> 
> ...


I don't think my criteria is at all interesting, I just is what it is. It does seem to offend you which is interesting, we all have different lives thank The Universe. Some of the things some women find sexy in this thread are a turn off for me, even if a guy earned his $300k plus I would not date him if he wore cowboy boots lol

Anyway we have an expensive lifestyle, we are incredibly happy and we can afford it. If things changed we would modify our lifestyle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I can understand people who have big incomes wanting to be with someone with the same sort of income, if things in the relationship goes tits up the one if there's a big difference in incomes the higher earner will pay massively.


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Not an alternate universe, this universe right here. There are plenty of women who think humility is sexy and who don't really register confidence as sexy. We're not all the same. I've known many women who would never pick the outwardly confident guy.
> *
> Also, some guys (and gals too, for that matter) are confident but do not show it outwardly and thus appear completely humble. It is possible to be both.*



:iagree:
The strong, silent types.


----------



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ?
> 
> ...


Damn...I wish I could figure out how to split up a quote...

Shoes: yes, but typically don't notice until I've had a good look at everything else.

Facial Hair: I think this is individual. I like a clean shaven face or a goatee. Not a big fan of a moustache by itself and scruffy looks good sometimes but can get in the way of my favorite activity. 

Shaved / Trimmed body hair: I'm not a fan of back hair but otherwise I'm okay with au natural or shaved or trimmed body hair. I do appreciate shaved or closely trimmed hair DOWN THERE as I am more likely to put my mouth there when it is. 

Jewelry: I liked seeing my XH wear his wedding band. I like guys with pierced ears and pierced nipples (again, probably not for everyone). When on the beach, a beachy necklace and / or wrist band can be hot, but otherwise, I am somewhat suspect of guys who wear necklaces all the time. At least metal. There was a guy in a meeting I was in the other day and he was wearing a leather wristband which I think spoke to his bohemian nature and it was hot, but also said "Not for me" as I don't consider myself that kind of bohemian. (Wow, I had a lot to say on that one.)

Underwear: Boxer briefs

Money: Would I like a guy with money? Sure. But does it make me wet? No. Power on the other hand...

Skin: softer is better, especially his hands. LOVE Tattoos. The more the better. 

Sex all the time: yes please. 

Picnic on the beach with chocolate, etc.: I would LOVE a gesture like this

Most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me: proposed marriage on a boat in the Caribbean. 

Crazyist place: how is this adding to your research, pray tell? But I'll bite: jet ski. Open water.

Things that are attractive to me:

Cologne, touching the small of my back, nibbling my ear or neck, brushing my hair away from my face. I must have a neck fetish because I love having my neck kissed and I love looking at the back of a man's neck - love it when he's got a good, clean hair cut and I can see the muscles in his neck. Mmmmmm. I often find myself in lines or on the elevator admiring a man's neck and imagining running my fingers through his hair. 

Also - Asking me probing questions about myself, really listening to the answer, and not judging.


----------



## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> when it comes to happiness... of course it makes a (difference) if...YOUR BASIC NEEDS are NOT BEING MET....(but beyond that) no overall difference in Happiness


Yes, I've heard of many similar studies.



SimplyAmorous said:


> I spoke about this on my Purpose thread ....Copying & pasting my last post below.....


And so to further support this point, I'll quote MYSELF from here:



bestyet2be said:


> So where does this leave us? Habituation. Habituation is both a blessing and a curse. If you buy an expensive new car, it will probably seem really nice for a while. But soon enough, it will just be "your car," and probably won't feel much different than your old one. If due to some bad turn of events, you had to go back to driving an old clunker, that would smart at first, but you'd get used to that, too. Similarly, even if the problems women face with respect to sexuality are, on some absolute average, worse than the problems men face, both men and women suffer from significant problems that feel bad. I think any comparison of "how bad" is more likely to he harmful than helpful. Whatever our problems are, we habituate to them.


And by the way, my point about "Habituation" was something I learned specifically from reading Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book _Flow_, which was mentioned in the movie review your link pointed to!

 Happy -the Movie : Reviews From a Spiritual Perspective

"Among other psychology experts, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of the book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, was interviewed."

The diagram displayed 16 minutes in, is a good summary of the book.


----------



## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

it really does vary way too much amongst women. Though I definitely have a preference in the looks department in guys, my "type" has more to do with personality. All the guys I've dated or had a serious relationship with was not started with "he's hot, lets date." I knew them, we had some sort of awesome conversation and I was immediately drawn to them. I like dudes who are a little bit different than everyone else and are passionate about life. A guy who can carry on a conversation, whether it be intellectual, philosophical, or just plain silly and weird, I love that. Someone who I can connect to with my mind.

As far as looks, a dude with a beard who isn't super into fashion and manscaping is what I find attractive. Rugged, would be the word. But none of that matters if his personality sucks.


----------



## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> Damn...I wish I could figure out how to split up a quote...


After hitting the "reply" button, the quote begins with a bit in square brackets, and ends with another bit in square brackets. (Look for the word QUOTE in capital letters).

Copy and paste the ending bit partway through to break the quote. Then type your stuff. Then copy and paste the starting bit, to continue with the quote.


----------



## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

Adeline said:


> ...But none of that matters if his personality sucks.


Yeah, I've ALWAYS heard that personality is the most important item, and a long time ago, in my difficult dating days, I concluded that I had a terrible personality.

Looking back, I think my problems were a combination of some bad luck compounding into a really bad attitude and some bad habits. Negativity. Just never having learned a kind and flirtatious demeanor. 

I'm still not really sure, but I know "personality" is 1st, 2nd, and 3rd on most people's lists.


----------



## sweetnothings4 (Sep 25, 2014)

I would say for me:

-Someone who is really confident in themselves
- muscles
-holds conversation well and can talk with you for hours
-has big full lips
-pretty eyes like green, hazel or bright blue


----------



## sweetnothings4 (Sep 25, 2014)

*Re: Re: sex appeal..what do women like that gets them attracted*

Do women look at a guys shoes ?
I look at guys shoes because I love fashion. I feel like i know what type of person you are based on the way you dress.

Do women like a clean shaved face ?
I like a clean shaved face but I also like facial hair alot as well. I just don't like facial hair because it feel rough and uncomfortable when receiving oral and it feels rough when your just kissing.

How about a man who shaves off his body hair..or gets laser or wax..to be smooth...
I wax my boyfriend I don't like body or pubic hair out all on guys. Unless it's on your legs. When I lay my head on his chest I don't want to feel a Bush. 

How about Men...who wear jewelry. ..
I bought my bf a tiffany dog tag necklace for his birthday and now he wears it everyday. So I like it.

what kind of underwear on a man turn you on?
Boxer brief. The ones that are like long shorts but fit tightly. 

How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?
Money doesn't turn me on. 

Skin...do women like soft skin...or rougher...on men....
I like rough skin bc if you have soft skin you feel like a woman. 

How about sex...what if man wants sex..all of the time. ..
I like sex about once or twice a week. If he wants it all the time I'd get tired of it. I've had this issues with my bf. We've been able to work it out using a sex menu. 

any women like a picnic on the beach with chocolate. ..fruit...wine...at sunset. ..bring a big blanket....
Yes I love that. I like a picnic anywhere. Me and my bf go on picnics a lot epically at the beach since we live near santa cruz.

what's the most romantic thing a guys ever done for you....?
Take me on a shopping spree 

Where's tthe crazy ist place you have had sex?
Behind a church, on a pier/dock in tahoe


----------



## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

bestyet2be said:


> Maybe "egotistical"?
> 
> Do a lot of women confuse "confidence" with "arrogance," or maybe that's just my perception.
> 
> Perhaps there's some alternate universe where "humility" is sexy....


Arrogance is a HUGE turn off for me. I know men who are very sexy in physical appearance, but they are also ****y jerks. No thanks. 

Confidence is very different. A man who knows he can handle a situation, who steps up and takes charge without being a bully/bossy about it will go a long way to catch a woman's eye.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Youz ladies are all so funny.
> 
> In reality...
> 
> ...


You had me at _deep_.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ?
> I generally don't ....unless there's something funky going on. Wearing formal shoes to the gym, for example. If it's more than once, I can't put that down to the dude forgetting his sneakers.
> ...


----------



## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

Making a woman laugh :rofl:


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Thinking back to when my husband and I first started dating and the initial attraction. There were a few factors that combined so that I couldn't get him off of my mind. 

He made it known that he was into me. I knew where I stood with him - including what would make him walk. I found him interesting. We were open with each other and shared similar outlooks and interests. He made me laugh. He encouraged me to go for what I wanted in life, never tried to hamper who I was. We were constantly touching one another. He was independently minded. Very much a 'walk to my own beat' kind. Physically I found him attractive yet he wasn't typical of my 'type' back then. He had short hair for a start lol. Funnily enough, he now has longer hair and a tattoo. Neither of which is of my influence. We just felt a connection, a pull to one another and before long, we were pretty much attached at the hip. Oh, and he invited me to his flat and cooked for me on one of our early dates. I became smitten. Sounds simple, eh?!


----------



## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ?
> Depends on the woman. I don't really care
> ...


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I look at shoes, they tell a lot about a man. I am a sucker for a well dressed man, suit, tie and nice shoes.
At home it doesn't matter so much but when we go out he is always well dressed and looks sexy as hell.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

My wife read this thread and relates that for her, good grooming goes a very long way.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Tall. I like tall guys. I'm so simple.....lol


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

My wife likes tall men too, but she picked me.


----------



## Anya Neeze (Oct 23, 2014)

I know for me, personally, I enjoy small physical gestures. Holding hands in the car, him lightly stroking my leg when watching tv, and of course those spontaneous booty grabs. Makes me feel like he still finds me attractive even though he doesnt verbalize very much. 

I will say this as an fyi for all you men in relationships....try to tell your woman that she is beautiful and that you love her EVERY day! I work front desk at a hotel and have regulars that ask me "have you been told how beautiful you are today".....and thats sweet n all but when you really arent hearing it from the one you want to hear it from but someone else, it becomes pretty apparent its not ever being said at home.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Maybe I missed it, no one mentioned his voice. However, no big deal, over 50 and all sex appeal goes out the door. I'm a realist, but I'm also happily married to a gorgeous 51 year old woman


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

drerio said:


> Maybe I missed it, no one mentioned his voice. However, no big deal, over 50 and all sex appeal goes out the door. I'm a realist, but I'm also happily married to a gorgeous 51 year old woman


Yes voice was mentioned


----------



## Anya Neeze (Oct 23, 2014)

happybuddha said:


> Do women look at a guys shoes ?


only if they are raggity or dont match your clothes, at all


happybuddha said:


> Do women like a clean shaved face ?


I prefer facial hair on my man because he is a bigger guy and the 'baby face' look makes him look bigger. Plus, I hate the prickley phase.



happybuddha said:


> How about a man who shaves off his body hair..or gets laser or wax..to be smooth..


body hair doesnt bother me, but ive never seen it be excessive. I say whatever makes YOU most comfortable in that dept.



happybuddha said:


> How about Men...who wear jewelry. ..


mine has his ear pierced and DO NOT like when he puts them in. A necklace or watch though is perfectly fine.



happybuddha said:


> what kind of underwear on a man turn you on?


I used to be a boxers kinda girl but since being with my fellow, hes a boxer/brief guy and I do love seeing him in those. Gives me a little sneak peak to the goods but still leaves enough to imagination.



happybuddha said:


> How much does money. Turn you on..100k income..200k 300k 400k...what is sexy...and why..?


money does not motivate me in my relationships. As long as he makes an efort to contribute, that shouldnt matter.



happybuddha said:


> Skin...do women like soft skin...or rougher...on men....


my man is a manly man welder so he is usually rougher than the average bear but id love him reguardless



happybuddha said:


> How about sex...what if man wants sex..all of the time. ..


mine used to want sex all the time and im down for it every time he initiates but I get turned down quite a bit these days. Seems women arent the only ones that use the headache excuse.



happybuddha said:


> any women like a picnic on the beach with chocolate. ..fruit...wine...at sunset. ..bring a big blanket....


very cliche but still sweet. Just taking time away from your phone and spending quality time means so much



happybuddha said:


> what's the most romantic thing a guys ever done for you....?


a hndwritten notebook of letters and short stories made just to make me smile. Coming home to a dim bathroom with candles and warm bubble bath waiting after long day of work



happybuddha said:


> Where's tthe crazy ist place you have had sex?


In the backseat of a car in an ihop parking lot, (attempting) to stradle him whil he was driving. SOOO NOT SAFE! I was young and dumb.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

happybuddha said:


> Some more questions :
> 
> Do women look at a guys shoes ? Shoes and teeth are #1.
> 
> ...


The most attractive trait a man can have is a dry, quick-witted sense of humor. If you can make me laugh, you're in.


----------



## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

I don't think I've ever been turned on more by a man than I am by my hubby. 

And it's not just because he's my husband..he just has this charisma about him..especially when he's wearing his sunglasses and his long wool coat. GAWD..I could jump him in a parking lot when he's wearing his sunglasses and that coat.

He also looks good in a semi tight black shirt. Not too tight..just tight enough.

And when he wears a black shirt with his Carhart jeans after coming in the house when he's worked on my car.

That and the tribal thing he has around his left arm..yeah that's hot too.

His geek thing with computers and Reddit? Turnoff big time. His white legs and his addiction to Diet Mt. Dew?? Can do without that too.

He has this thing tho with being sneaky while he's taking a shower where he peeks around the shower curtain and watches me do my daily things like combing my hair..or when my ass sticks out of the covers when I'm sleeping.

How does a guy find that kind of stuff sexy??


----------

