# I'm looking for a Men's Group!!!



## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

Do any men go to any men's groups in your area? I want to start attending one or two. I know there are many men's groups on meetup. 

If you attend a men's group, how did you find it? Do you find your life has improved because of your attendance?

Thanks


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I never intentionally looked to join a men's group for the purpose being around men. I've always been in male dominated occupations, so I never had to seek out male interaction. I even attended all male schools (yes they did exist). I do belong to male fraternal groups and social/hobby groups, where we enjoy common interests. I do believe my participation in these groups has enhanced my life. I met many men and exceptional mentors, who's ideas and behaviors I've chosen to emulate to great success. I recommend young men do the same and seek out interaction with other men. 

I hope that helps and I hope you find one.


BTW, I like your signature. You do know he was not only an accomplished man of action, he was a great husband and father, who was adored by his wife family.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

anchorwatch said:


> I never intentionally looked to join a men's group for the purpose being around men. I've always been in male dominated occupations, so I never had to seek out male interaction. I even attended all male schools (yes they did exist). I do belong to male fraternal groups and social/hobby groups, where we enjoy common interests. I do believe my participation in these groups has enhanced my life. I met many men and exceptional mentors, who's ideas and behaviors I've chosen to emulate to great success. I recommend young men do the same and seek out interaction with other men.
> 
> I hope that helps and I hope you find one.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the comment on my signature. TR was a true Alpha Male and an amazing man. And thanks for your reply as a whole.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> Do any men go to any men's groups in your area?


I stopped going once Goerge McFarland passed away last century










RIP - He Man Womans Haters Club!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

The only men's group I have seen in my walks is at a church. My best guess for you is to search local clubs or associations that my fit what you are looking for.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> Do any men go to any men's groups in your area? I want to start attending one or two. I know there are many men's groups on meetup.
> 
> If you attend a men's group, how did you find it? Do you find your life has improved because of your attendance?
> 
> Thanks


I haven't been to one in many years, and there don't seem to be any where I am that aren't just about sports or something - so, personal issues aren't likely to be welcome in those.

Back in the 90s, I heard about a men's discussion group via an internet search. We'd get together monthly and talk about general and specific issues we were experiencing, from careers to divorce, with many tangents. It was a good resource when I was beginning the process of my own divorce, so I think it helped improve my life.

I suppose meetup is the best way to look for something similar. I think many churches have some kind of men's group, but whether that would be useful to you depends on the issues you face, and whether their perspective would help or hinder your progress, or push you into a path that isn't suitable. They would not have worked for me, though.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Yeswecan said:


> The only men's group I have seen in my walks is at a church. My best guess for you is to search local clubs or associations that my fit what you are looking for.


*I concur! My local United Methodist Church has several as do other churches. A church group would be an excellent choice!

If it's something fraternal that you're seeking, then try joining the Masonic Lodge or some other fraternal order!

But please do keep in mind that either of these type of groups would entail a profound belief on your part in the existence of a higher deity!

But IMHO, there's nothing remotely wrong with that!*


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

@Mr.StrongMan, 

Tell us about your Dad?


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

anchorwatch said:


> @Mr.StrongMan,
> 
> Tell us about your Dad?


What do you want to know?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Why do you answer my question with a question and not an answer? You do a lot of that... Always looking to see what others are looking for, or thinking. It's a straightforward question, nothing clandestine. Just a conversation you might engage in at any men's group. Is that fair with you? 

Anything of importance you can think of... 

What do you think of him? 

What kind of man was he?

Your relationship with him? 

His relationship with your Mom?

Is he or was he like you? 

Your childhood with him?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> What do you want to know?


What does your mom think of him?


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

anchorwatch said:


> Why do you answer my question with a question and not an answer? You do a lot of that... Always looking to see what others are looking for, or thinking. It's a straightforward question, nothing clandestine. Just a conversation you might engage in at any men's group. Is that fair with you?
> 
> Anything of importance you can think of...
> 
> ...


I wish my father was still alive so I could tell him I know how he must have felt. I believe we all took my father for granted. But my father was a very angry man and it was hard NOT to be afraid of him most of the time. 

He was also a very very generous man. He really was. He was also highly successful! He was a millionaire. I did not realize this until after he passed away. He would and could not allow me to go into his business with him, because he knew he would not be able to control his anger with me. 

He was also somewhat of a pessimist. I believe I share this trait with him. I believe he was also depressed sometimes. And he could get very angry. In addition, (don't ask me how I know), I believe in later years, my father suffered in a sexless marriage.





badsanta said:


> What does your mom think of him?


Both my parents have passed away. My parent's relationship could have been more loving. But they really were very good at whatever they put their minds to. They could have done much better raising kids. But everything else they were amazing at.

Although my father always lavished us with money, he did discourage me with anything I tried to do. I wish I could say I am exaggerating, but I am not. My father had no faith in me at all. I guess I can't blame him. I did terrible in grade school. I have no doubt a large part of this is because you can't learn when you are afraid. And my father did not have the patience to teach me things like math.

My father and mother were very high achievers. I look back and I really can't believe it. But they were total opposites when it came to disposition. My father went too far to the pessimist side, and my mother went to far to the optimist side. 

My mother took my father for granted. I am not sure how much she really love him. However, I am sure my father was madly in love with my mother, but did not know how to show it, because my mother did not know how to show him love.

I only wish I had my father's successes and brains for business.

I was thinking the other day how my father would do small things as a kid to sabotage my small successes growing up. I won't get into details. But I did bring up an example to my new therapist last week and he just stared at me as if he couldn't believe it.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Thanks for sharing.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I wish my father was still alive so I could tell him I know how he must have felt. I believe we all took my father for granted. But my father was a very angry man and it was hard NOT to be afraid of him most of the time.
> 
> He was also a very very generous man. He really was. He was also highly successful! He was a millionaire. I did not realize this until after he passed away. He would and could not allow me to go into his business with him, because he knew he would not be able to control his anger with me.
> 
> ...


*See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised. 

This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I see that you asked the mods to close all your threads.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


It's not personal--some people can't get on TAM every day. Some people feel they don't have something worthwhile to add.

I haven't read many of your other threads, and I just read this one today. I think I read a bit of your thread on Valentine's Day. A lot of people responded to that thread.

You seem very angry. That may be why people don't respond to you as much as you would like, especially if they get angry responses from you in regards to their posts.

Like I said, I've only seen a few of your threads/posts, so I don't know if my observation applies to ALL your threads, just a few that I've seen.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


Semiprofessional opinion - as a child you have no way to judge your parents objectively. You lack a frame of reference. You don't know their motives.

Your parents mistake - they did not push you. My parents didn't either. They never panicked when i chose psychology. They didn't understand it. They understood engineering (my late brother was an EE). 

But they supported me. And as they saw that i managed to make a living out of my interest for the human mind they told me to stay put and not return... They were right.

I suggest you work thru a lot of the above in IC. And try to make peace with your parents.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


You have a persecution complex, dude.........


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

I do think that there have been a handful of unkind posts towards you. I think most of it is frustration. I'm sorry that you are dealing with that. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Dude,
Gotta let things roll off your back. 
Let your wife's indifference roll off.
Let it all roll off, and start focusing your thoughts specifically on ways to improve your life.

You want to feel stronger? Get a job you're proud of. Put out some resumes.
You want sex? Go get some. Thousands of women that need it worse than you do. 
You think God wants you sitting around doing nothing to improve your happiness?
Tell your wife you need sex and if she won't take care of your needs, you're seeking it elsewhere. I'll bet I know what she'll say.
You want to feel better, happier?
You've got to do something to get what you want.
A men's group or new friends can't serve it up for you. Gotta go get it.

Your mom and dad raised you. YOU don't have to let the past define you. 

What do you want?
Go get it. Life is that simple.
Stop worrying about that which you cannot change.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


Get a grip. We try to help others much as we can. We have lives outside of TAM. I don't have much time for this, but I try to engage with you as much as I can. 

This is the type of victim thinking keeps you down. No one wants to knock you. We're not your dad. Do you understand that? If not, why post anymore.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> I see that you asked the mods to close all your threads.


*I did NOT ASK ANY OF THE MODS TO CLOSE ANY OF MY THREADS!!! *I am not surprised you would assume that!!!
And I don't know why this is opened now.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*


This makes no sense to me. Asking about your father is an obvious question after you ask about mens groups. Your response is curious.

I would suggest the Masons. I'm not a member but my nephew has been for years and I wish I had joined years ago.

Think about shooting clubs, hunting and fishing clubs, history clubs, athletic clubs, charitable clubs. The lst seems endless. If I had it to do over I would take up boxing or even karate.

I don't see looking for a men's club to talk about personal issues except as a byproduct of being around other men and making friends. However, one gets that kind of help by assimilation.

One thing i'm curious about is your comment that your father didn't teach you math. That's what teachers are for. Sure parents help a bit but just barely. Teaching methods change so much its near impossible to follow anyway from generation to generation.

There are also many self help groups I imagine.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *I did NOT ASK ANY OF THE MODS TO CLOSE ANY OF MY THREADS!!! *I am not surprised you would assume that!!!
> 
> And I don't know why this is opened now.




The mods don't close threads unless you ask them or violate forum rules.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> *See? See everybody? This is a perfect example that people are NOT interested in me posting something of interest to disucss. People only want to pounce on me and criticize me here for "not taking advice." But when I post something of interest I get no response. I am not surprised.
> 
> 
> 
> This is not a reflection on me, but on all of my critics here.*




Are you angry no one commented on your post yesterday? 

I was busy too.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

I guess I won't be able to post anymore on TAM. 

The moderators did not return my private messages where I ask them questions.

I guess it's time for me to move on.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Mr.StrongMan said:


> I guess I won't be able to post anymore on TAM.
> 
> The moderators did not return my private messages where I ask them questions.
> 
> I guess it's time for me to move on.




The mods have a life too. Do you know why your threads were closed?


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

I want to know why you call yourself Mr Strong Man.....It doesn't seem to suit you........


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I'm guessing threads were closed because there were so many of them.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

Outside of a church I sincerely don't know what a Men's Group is. 

If anyone read Wambaugh, when I worked the street we frequently met for 'choir practice' but everyone from the team and then some was invited.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Livvie said:


> I'm guessing threads were closed because there were so many of them.




But that is not against forum rules (yet). 

There is a young woman doing the same thing. Many many threads about her husband. She gets the same advice: your husband won't change, leave him. 

Yet hers are not closed.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of...:wink2:


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!
> 
> 
> 
> There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of...:wink2:




Did you start dating SunNMars?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The person who can answer the questions is the person who closed the threads. She has the why. She doesn't have to disclose, though.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> The person who can answer the questions is the person who closed the threads. She has the why. She doesn't have to disclose, though.




No she doesn't. But when the mods APPEAR to act arbitrarily and inconsistently, it adds fuel to the fire that they are biased and have favorites. 

I get that it's a free site and we can go elsewhere. We can also move to Canada. 

They also closed the thread where we could have asked. 

If he broke forum rules he should be banned, not have his threads closed. Last I checked he is not. 

Another poster asks unrelated questions daily yet has received public written approval to continue. Even SMG15 and Nataly didn't have their threads closed.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> No she doesn't. But when the mods APPEAR to act arbitrarily and inconsistently, it adds fuel to the fire that they are biased and have favorites.
> 
> I get that it's a free site and we can go elsewhere. We can also move to Canada.
> 
> ...


mistaken quote sorry.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

It's not really important why the moderator choose to close my threads. It's not important anymore.
Let's just move on. I will try my best to no longer post.
Just move on.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Dude,
Stop being thin/skinned.
You aren't perfect. Nobody is.
In all honestly most people, including myself, have problems we are dealing with just like you.

If it helps you to talk, talk.
It's a public forum. That's what it's for. 

We've tried to help you, you haven't made a lot of progress. It may take years. But people want to help one another.

I just lost my gorgeous doctor gf recently that I asked to marry me. I tolerated cold, emotionally abusive behavior from her... My head is all screwed up....

You are having trouble accepting your life is not what you want, can't let go of the old one to move on.

But don't give up. Change is hard. It's gonna take some time.


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