# Thoughts on Uncontested Divorces?



## Todi (Aug 5, 2013)

Told my wife last week that I wanted a divorce. I have other threads with all the reasons as to why.

At first she was on board with the idea of selecting a lawyer and going forward with an uncontested divorce. Now she wants to get her OWN lawyer and I'm afraid things will get more expensive than they need to be. Ultimately, I think we'll be on the same page about most things. So I don't think we need to spend more than necessary...

The lawyer I spoke to last week quoted $1600 for an uncontested divorce if we could agree on everything. Am I being Naive by thinking this could work? Should I prepare to play hard ball...? How could I convince her that I only want to do what's best for the kids and fair to us...

The only thing that might possibly be up-in-the-air to some degree would be Alimony. And the lawyer I talked to stated that he doesn't think it's a good alimony case for her. Everything else is either a calculate of the state or a 50/50 split.

Any advice? Thanks in advance.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Prepare for the worst. Attempt to do what is fair. Do what you have to based on what comes.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I think it does depend on the situation.
My divorce was uncontested. The ex was an a$$ who couldn't get away from me and into the single life fast enough. So I hired an attorney who did collaborative divorces and offered to pay for a review of the agreement by an independent attorney of his choice. He never bothered. I was fair and most things were split 50/50. It ended up costing about $1800.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

With an issue like alimony on the table, going forward with one lawyer representing both of you doesn't seem like it will work.

In my case even though my X agreed to everything my lawyer would not represent us both. It did cost more, that is the nature of divorce.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

They always say they want it uncontested. Until it is contested. Get prepared, strap in, and get for what might be a very bumpy ride. You may end up having to take some lumps before its over.


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## BoyScout (Feb 6, 2015)

In my case, she wanted a divorce but was doing nothing to initiate the process. After realizing that I was paying for her to live a life of no responsibilities with her friends, I initiated. We agreed to a what was termed a "Kitchen Table Divorce". She and I sat down and wrote, in rough form, our agreement. Financial split, support of college aged children, property split, dogs, and maintenance. 

The process has been very smooth but I am the one who has done all the work. The attorney is costing $1,500. He has made it clear that he is representing me and that she is free to engage her own, but if she agrees to 'my' agreement she is waiving her right. The agreement was filed last week. Everythign should be done by the end of this week.


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## Todi (Aug 5, 2013)

BoyScout said:


> In my case, she wanted a divorce but was doing nothing to initiate the process. After realizing that I was paying for her to live a life of no responsibilities with her friends, I initiated. We agreed to a what was termed a "Kitchen Table Divorce". She and I sat down and wrote, in rough form, our agreement. Financial split, support of college aged children, property split, dogs, and maintenance.
> 
> The process has been very smooth but I am the one who has done all the work. The attorney is costing $1,500. He has made it clear that he is representing me and that she is free to engage her own, but if she agrees to 'my' agreement she is waiving her right. The agreement was filed last week. Everythign should be done by the end of this week.


That is exactly what we're looking at. We're meeting with a Lawyer I talked to last week today. I'm hoping we can do exactly what you have done.

We are not angry. We're not fighting. The only thing we could possibly have to discuss really is maintenance if any... I hope it works out because if not, it will be a **** load more than $1500 and neither of us wants that.

I'm also happy to hear that the cost of your experience is similar to what this guy is asking at least.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

A divorce means two people are going in separate directions. IMHO each should have a lawyer who will be an advocate for the person's best interests. You have your interests to protect and she has her interests to protect.
You'll hear stories of people who went in thinking it would all be uncontested and when lawyers got involved it got nasty. I'd say in those cases one of the people may have had some other motives or resentments that came to the surface through the lawyer. And there are some in the legal profession who are out to make a buck by making things complex. Just be careful on selecting the attorney.
Yes there will be added expense, but this is a divorce, a major life changing event. Both parties need advice and advocacy.
Would you be comfortable if she was the only one with a lawyer for the divorce?
And yes, I've been through a divorce and my ex didn't want an attorney. And our divorce was uncontested and as simple as these things can be. But she needed someone to represent her best interests just as i had someone to represent mine.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

When we went through divorce my XW filed and hired an attorney. She didn't want the divorce but we kept it civil for our daughters sake. 
Her attorney said that he could explain the sections of the marital separation and permanent parenting plan to me but could not advise me in any way as he represented XW.
I got the papers and then went and saw an attorney of my own just to read through and tell me if they were reasonable or not.
That worked well. I just paid for an hour or two of his office time and made a few changes that he suggested.

Hope this helps.


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