# Just Love



## Welshtyke

My First Post

My wife and I have been together for 36 years I was just twenty two when we married, and she was twenty (no shotguns either). We are at the other end of having children etc. they are now grown up and I am now heading towards the end of my career. However like most people over the years because we have suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that life has to throw at us. The passionate love affair in our relationship significantly diminished (it went missing). This sort of OK but it leads to stress, a tendency to be short with people, insular behaviour, I could go on. Nevertheless we had strong underlying bond, but it remained hidden and lost like a jewel locked up in the attic.

I believe you finish up with three scenarios in a long term relationship after the children have grown and the career is heading towards a conclusion etc.

1)	You just drift apart and separate
2)	You have marriage which is more of a co-existence, where one may sit in the corner of a room and the other sits in the other corner.
3)	Or you take stock, have a good clear out in your mind and rekindle the fire you had when you first met. 

Recently in a serious full on, whole hearted, no half measures & no half truths and truly, truly believing in what I was about to say. I wrote my wife a love letter saying how much I loved her casting aside all inhibition. After I sent the letter it was like being hit with tidal wave of emotion that was so powerful and so euphoric it was just immense. The long kisses and cuddles came flooding back and our sex life improved dramatically. I also bought my wife a love token. This is a golden ring of hearts to bind us together even further and to remind us of the day we recommitted our love

I believe sex should be as spontaneous as you can make it, rather than as a pre-planned act. I also believe that sex is not the prime objective of a relationship. I think the first and foremost part is the long sensual kissing, embraces, cuddling and touch etc. If it is right for both parties sex will happen naturally rather than forced and will be all the better for it.

I am truely, madley, deeply in love with my wife and do not want to lose what we have rekindled. Our relationship is very much like when we first met, full of desire and infatuation. There is now only one person in our marriage and that is us.

Please can people suggest further ideas to keep the fire of our love burning, on & on.


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## Welshtyke

I found this on the net.

Here are 5 tips to improve and deepen intimate relationships:
1. Designate time to frequently celebrate the relationship
Allocate a quiet place with no interruptions from cell phones, TV. etc. Create a romantic setting filled with candlelight. Sit, facing one another, hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and share a positive story, a positive memory that you remember about your partner. Focus on something you love and appreciate in your partner that brings a smile to your face.
Not only share with your partner what you feel will enhance the relationship and deepen your intimate bond, but also share what are you willing to do to make it happen.
The practice helps create a safe environment that can transform your relationship into a source of inspiration by stretching your imagination through, creativity, playfulness, humour, adventure and spontaneity. The transformation brings a fresh new energy and a renewed life force into the union.
2. Listening without interruption
Each time you feel like reacting when your partner speaks, take a deep breath, and listen to the end of his/her last word. It helps to use a talking piece, and only the person who speaks, holds it. Put the talking piece down when you finished speaking, and allow your partner to express him/her self.
3. Speaking from the “I feel”
Ask yourself, “Am I communicating from my ego or from my heart?” Relax and be totally present. Allow your vulnerability to emerge when you speak from the” I feel” place rather than reacting or blaming. When speaking from the heart, share how you feel without pointing a finger. It creates a room for healing, as obstacles and challenges turn into stepping-stones and opportunities for growth.
4. Affirmations
We all can use positive affirmation… a show of love, kindness and support rather than criticism.
Express to your partner frequent words of affirmation. Compliment your partner. Leave love notes, write poems and love letters, and express positive validation towards your partner for the things he/she does that make you feel good. Familiarize yourself with those things that make your partner happy or that are important to him/her.
A hug, a pinch, or a smile will spark up the day. The relationship thrives on such shows of affection.
5. From the “Me” to “We”
In every relationship, there is an individual voice within each partner that feeds self-indulgent, egotistical needs. But it is important to stay mindful of the relationship’s needs. This third voice is called “The Voice of the Relationship”, a neutral voice that serves the well being of the relationship. In times of tension, conflicts and disagreements, attuning to the voice of the relationship cultivates a conciliatory atmosphere by bringing a different perspective to consider. It’s like going out to the balcony to get a different view on things.

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Also from personal point of view, no matter old never be frightened to hold hands or kiss in public. When I say kiss in public I don’t necessarily mean the long smouldering snog where you are just about eat each other. But just enough to say “hey there world we love each other”

When you are out for a meal look across the table and look into each other’s eyes and hold hands. We are now doing that again, and it is so uplifting.


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## SimplyAmorous

Welshtyke said:


> Recently in a serious full on, whole hearted, no half measures & no half truths and truly, truly believing in what I was about to say. *I wrote my wife a love letter saying how much I loved her casting aside all inhibition. After I sent the letter it was like being hit with tidal wave of emotion that was so powerful and so euphoric it was just immense. The long kisses and cuddles came flooding back and our sex life improved dramatically. I also bought my wife a love token. This is a golden ring of hearts to bind us together even further and to remind us of the day we recommitted our love*


 Very nice turn around ! Sometimes it just starts with a little forethought, show some romantic vulnerability - determined to put yourself out there...and see what happens......That's wonderful...

A similar thing happened to me...in the making a Windows Movie Maker video of our life together, after 19 yrs & adding a mushy love song, the emotions came over me like a flood.. I guess I revved myself in that... it was very powerful...and we've been riding that wave for 5 yrs now... it was good before, but it re-ignited something in ME that should have been a little stronger towards him... just doing something small ...if it's of the heart.. look out.



> I believe sex should be as spontaneous as you can make it, rather than as a pre-planned act. I also believe that sex is not the prime objective of a relationship. *I think the first and foremost part is the long sensual kissing, embraces, cuddling and touch etc. *If it is right for both parties sex will happen naturally rather than forced and will be all the better for it.


 when we make a habit of lots of sensual touching..it's almost inevitable ... 



> *I am truely, madley, deeply in love with my wife* and do not want to lose what we have rekindled. Our relationship is very much like when we first met, full of desire and infatuation. There is now only one person in our marriage and that is us.


 Makes me think of this song Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden





> * Please can people suggest further ideas to keep the fire of our love burning, on & on*.


Off the top of my head... Share each others day.... laugh together...Flirt, Tease (we're never too old)... continue to date...dance together... reach for her hand when you are out... take walks together...get out a photo album & take a walk down memory lane... Plan romantic vacations....

15 Ideas for Keeping Romance Alive Year-Round


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## Welshtyke

Thank you for your reply "SimplyAmorous" _"A similar thing happened to me...in the making a Windows Movie Maker video of our life together, after 19 yrs & adding a mushy love song, the emotions came over me like a flood"_.

You have to experience this to believe it. The same thing happened to me. It is so powerful its is unreal. But boy does it feel good.

We have started the vacation planning, by planning a romantic date for each month. Nothing boring allowed must be fun and romantic. _"laugh together...Flirt, Tease (we're never too old)... " _so true. I do not think you should be embarrassed to kiss in public either. I am not talking about a full on snog in the middle of the high street. But just for a second or so turn and look at each other and plant one right on the lips.

We will get the old photos down I forgot about that one.

One other thing we have started do is to face each other looking directly into each others eyes holding hands and both say at the same time I LOVE YOU.


Nearly forgot: I like the links


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