# Happily Married, Unhappily Broke



## Hendrix (May 17, 2017)

Hello all,

My father died five years ago and left me an inheritance which was supposed to be used to either buy a home or use it towards my wedding as I was engaged to be married at the time of his death. I did not gain access to the money in that account until last year.

Presently, I am married (to someone else) and the money is practically gone. It was a very nice nest egg since it grew in interest. It's killing me that I wasn't smart with it and managed to save more. A majority of the money went towards a household issue which got worse and caused more to be required. Then my mother asked for money, which I gave her. Finally, I made bad investments attempting to buy a gift for my husband which never came to fruition.

At this point, I'm very frustrated and constantly trying to find a way to build the money back that I lost but I know that's next to impossible. I don't know what to do... and it makes me so mad I feel like crying right now as I type... The very last thing I want to do which should have been the first thing was help my husband with his legal issues. I still can but it would wipe us completely out.

I'd love to buy a house within the next 3 years but I really don't think that's going to happen unless some miracle occurs. Sorry for the rant...


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its trite, but the best way to save money is to earn more than you spend. 

That means eliminating any unessential spending. Don't get "things" for gifts, do things for your partner. 

Do you both work?


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

In most marriages, you never start with enough money to do everything you need to. Some things just wait until someday there is some extra money. All that you can do is to help out financially as much as you can and support your husband through his legal bills as much as you can. I didn't get an inheritance, so be glad that you were given what you were and for the things that money made you able to do. Don't feel bad for what the money wasn't able to do.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Reality is we have all made financial mistakes but those mistakes can be worth their weight in gold if we can learn from it.

When my husband and I got married we had nothing and both of us earning a minimum wage. Within the first year of marriage we saved enough money for a 10% deposit. I took an extra night job and we agreed not to spend a single penny unless it was absolutely necessary. Everything we furnished our rented home with was given to us, we didn't go out much (but then we were newly married), we shopped in discount grocers, cooked cheap meals. We walked everywhere to save money on petrol and parking (in fact we ended up selling the car, we sold lots of things like the TV).

We bought a tiny terraced house that an old lady had lived and died in, it didn't even have a kitchen. Each month we put aside money to do jobs on the house, never went into to debt. It took 3 years for it to look modern, we sold it for £20k profit. We bought a bigger house that also needed a lot of work, we added an extension, again each month we did only what we could afford. We sold that in 2 years for £40k profit. 

And so on and so forth. The house we live in now we bought for £150k, in a gorgeous area, good schools, but the house needed work - we added a big extension and it was recently valued at £300k. The mortgage will be paid off in the next 5 years and we will downsize to hopefully have a nice nest egg for our retirement. My husband works part-time and I am a SAHM. 

So...don't give up hope. Just be clever with every penny and don't be afraid to not follow the crowd.


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## Finwe (Nov 5, 2015)

First order is to get on a detailed budget. You won't be good at it at first - but you need to know exactly where your money is going.

Then control your money and spend less than you make. If you don't make enough, get a second job, do a side hustle, garage sale, etc. 

Get $1000 or so in a savings account - or liquidate your savings to pay off debt (that is not your home).

Then work hard, payoff non-home debt, and keep a small savings account.

Once your debts are paid off, then save 3-6 months for a fully funded emergency fund. If you can do this, you will be better than 99% of folks out there.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I inherited $220k and my ex wife threatened to divorce me if I didn't put in our joint account. Me being stupid and wanting to keep my little family together did it and spent it all remodeling our house and paying off debts. Finally got fed up with a sexless marriage and my hate growing everyday for her, divorced her and walked away with $40K of it. I just had to let it go and not let it affect my future. I'll always make more money and recoup it eventually. And if I don't, who cares... it's life, no one gets out alive!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Hendrix said:


> Hello all,
> 
> My father died five years ago and left me an inheritance which was supposed to be used to either buy a home or use it towards my wedding as I was engaged to be married at the time of his death. I did not gain access to the money in that account until last year.
> 
> ...


How much money did you waste and how much did you spend on useful items or enjoyable activities.Stop lamenting the money,its gone so forget about it but do not make the same mistakes again.Why is buying a house within three years out of the question,are you incapable of working or do you have children to look after.
Your post is very vague,you don't say how much you inherited or what this investment in a gift for your husband means.How likely is it that your mother can pay back some or all of the money you lent her.
If you give some information People may be able to help you but as it is your posts leave more questions unanswered than answered.


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