# Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")



## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

I really didn't think that it would hurt this bad. He has been so bad to me and I'm not sure why I'm experiencing so much pain. He has tried coming back several times but I remained strong. I did have a conversation with him once, but his words were so lame. He did not say anything to me that i have not heard already. I let him fake poor out his fake little heart, but I still stuck with my decision. 

Let me add this, the times that he had been trying to contact me and talk to me was always late at night. i would never answer the phone or the door. then he finally came to my job and i talked to him on my lunch break. He still keeps trying but he only tries to come late at night. He thinks I'm some kind of fool.

Anyway, after contacting several divorce centers, i finally starting the proceedings with one. It fits right into my budget. They told me that it should only take about 4 weeks after filing in the courts because He and I have nothing together. I am so excited about getting this done and over with, but it hurts so bad at the same time. I can't even sleep and i have lost so much weight because I can't eat. I know that this has to be done or the cycle will continue. It's so hard sleeping with a broken heart. But then I have to think to myself, my heart was broken when he was there. Is this normal?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

Stay strong. Get involved with things you like. Try new hobbies. Head the the local bookstore and read a bunch. Get yourself occupied with positive things. 

It's a new start for you. The more you plan and look forward, this past will fade.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

We are here for you, helping you stay strong.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

what you are doing is very difficult and very brave. You should be proud of yourself. 

you are very normal. Don't even concern yourself with that. 

what does he want to talk about late at night? did you ask him to not show up at your work again?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

Thank you



MattMatt said:


> We are here for you, helping you stay strong.


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

I have no idea what he wanted. I guess he wanted to come in, have sex and then think that everything is ok.

Yes, I did ask him not to come to my job again and he has not. 

Thank you for your reply. You guys are making me feel better!!




clipclop2 said:


> what you are doing is very difficult and very brave. You should be proud of yourself.
> 
> you are very normal. Don't even concern yourself with that.
> 
> ...


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## Calibre1212 (Aug 11, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

150% normal. I am in a similar boat...This helps: DivorceCare - Divorce Recovery Support Groups - DivorceCare (I get a supportive email in my inbox every day).

When I start to drift into feeling compassion for him or saving the marriage (for the 100th time), I remember a few of the crappy "events" in reference to who he really is and that keeps me in check. It gets better over time, the brokenheartedness and pain subsides close to 6 months post. Gotta keep looking forward and remind yourself that every step forward is at least 10 steps ahead of looking back. I learn to have compassion for me.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*



trinmir said:


> Is this normal?


Yep, it's normal. I was a miserable failure at getting through my divorce and made all the mistakes. Looking back I should have let myself be more socially preoccupied. Try to get out and be with friends and family if possible.


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

Oh boy I can really Identify here. Thank you for the link. I will check it out right now.



Calibre1212 said:


> 150% normal. I am in a similar boat...This helps: DivorceCare - Divorce Recovery Support Groups - DivorceCare (I get a supportive email in my inbox every day).
> 
> *When I start to drift into feeling compassion for him or saving the marriage (for the 100th time), I remember a few of the crappy "events" in reference to who he really is and that keeps me in check. * It gets better over time, the brokenheartedness and pain subsides close to 6 months post. Gotta keep looking forward and remind yourself that every step forward is at least 10 steps ahead of looking back. I learn to have compassion for me.


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

What do yo mean when you say that you made all the mistakes?



commonsenseisn't said:


> Yep, it's normal. I was a miserable failure at getting through my divorce and made all the mistakes. Looking back I should have let myself be more socially preoccupied. Try to get out and be with friends and family if possible.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

i would be pretty careful with him coming around "at night". Is he possibly an aggressive type? You constant blowing him off might be building up to some sort of confrontation?

If i were you would offer to talk with him, but only at work with other co-workers around. hear his side. But make it clear that he can not visit you at home for any reason. That you will call the police next time he tries.

And talk to the police, tell them your concerns. Get it on record ahead of time that you have worries. That way maybe they will respond quicker if you need to call.

Do you have anyway to defend yourself. A gun, pepper spray? I am assuming you changed the locks already??


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

*Re: Divorce started. This hurts really bad!! (Update from "Enough is Enough")*

you are right! he is not aggressive at all. i did talk to him at my job and i heard everything that he had to say which was nothing. he has not come to my home again or my job.



murphy5 said:


> i would be pretty careful with him coming around "at night". Is he possibly an aggressive type? You constant blowing him off might be building up to some sort of confrontation?
> 
> If i were you would offer to talk with him, but only at work with other co-workers around. hear his side. But make it clear that he can not visit you at home for any reason. That you will call the police next time he tries.
> 
> ...


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