# In-laws



## argyle (May 27, 2011)

Okay. So, our financially troubled in-laws have finally passed from troubled to extremely bankrupt. And, naturally, they live in a country which does not have a social net for the elderly. Trust me, social security has its advantages.

They do have a son - who - faced with caring for them for the next 30 years, seems to prefer the suicide option (for them). (Based on his income and expectations, he'd basically have to commit to caring for them until he was about 70. Then, he'd die destitute and alone. I do get where he's coming from...) At the present time, while caring for them, he is also headed, fairly rapidly, for bankruptcy. To some extent, I call shenanigans, as his income level should be sufficient to support 3 people in their nation of residence. OTOH, he has significant debt.

We're currently financially strained - with my wife out of work and have been making some fraction of his debt payments, but don't have much to spare.

So, the current plan for year 1 is for my wife to find work and for the mother and father-in-law to move into our 1.5 bedroom apartment. Perhaps we can expand into the garage a bit. Assuming my wife finds a job, this is financially viable, although I am still worried about medical insurance. (we will save on childcare and also increase our net income.) The FIL has diabetes, but is otherwise healthy.

The current plan for year 5 is for me to be working somewhere that pays appreciably more and for the in-laws to have US citizenship. It is possible, even probable, that they would prefer to live in Korea if at all possible - so - when my wife's brother attains greater stability, that may help. By this point they will be living independently, but nearby (eg, we have a duplex...)

The plans for year 10+ are not well-developed. Elder care anywhere is quite expensive. It may be that we can pawn that care off on my BIL's hypothetical dutiful wife. It may be that we can split the bill. It is even probable that he will not help at all.

Eh.

Of course, downside 1 is that my wife is mentally ill. She's held down jobs before, so it may be ok. But I'm worried.

Downside 2 is that my in-laws aren't exactly sane. The MIL is inoffensive to me at least. The FIL doesn't cause problems with me either. Their interpersonal interactions have been problematic in the past, but are apparently calming with age. I'm not sure they will get on well with my wife. 

Downside 3 is that my BIL plans to ask us for money while all this is ongoing. I'm not enthused. 

--Argyle


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It would be helpful to know the ages of the in-laws.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

And are you seeking any particular input from the forum or using it as a place to let it all out?


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## argyle (May 27, 2011)

Approximately 65 (female) and 70 (male), in reasonably good health.

I am venting a bit.

But, mostly, I'd be interested in input from people who've dealt with eldercare. 

I'm going to just assume that the short-term financial and interpersonal issues are solvable. They probably are, and, anyways, worrying about everything at once will make my head explode.

That leaves short-term and long-term medical care (presumably, after they get citizenship). This seems to be an unsolved issue. Diabetes is a pre-existing condition, so not covered by anything.

--Argyle


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