# Stop messing with my heart



## HoldingOutHope (Aug 29, 2011)

My wife and I are just beginning our separation. When she asked for this, I didn't want it. I was crushed. Distance only breeds distance.
Then I learned of an EA she was having, and called it off. Filed for D. Got an apt, worked with her on finances and kids and all. She seemed very at peace with it.
Next night, she called and we talked until morning. Later that day, she said she didn't want a divorce. She even suggested maybe not separating.

I had found some peace in the decision. Still painful, but accepted my fate.

Talking with her and realizing some bad assumptions and some old feelings, and now I'm confused as hell. I am waiting by the phone for her to text or call again.

I had such clarity and conviction, now I'm utterly confused and sad.

Is this normal? Is anything normal? I want to reconcile, I always wanted that. But so much pain and hurt and I convinced myself she was wrong for me. Now I am dying to talk to her, touch her, rekindle. But our relationship was broken. I know that.

What do I do? Can people change? Do you ever forgive this pain? Do separations ever lead to reconciliation?
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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I think you can move to a better place where both of you are comfortable working together and living a good life. Just make sure everything is communicated and honest. It has to be better together than apart when there is still emotional ties. But be careful with you life and your heart. But if you decide not to reconcile, know that the pain subsides and life is still good alone as well.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Call her up to talk. If you both want to reconcile...do it! Withdraw the divorce request.
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