# 9 days until temporary hearing...months after separation



## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

recap:

-2001-present day-emotionally, financially, and sexually abusive relationship...with a handful of suffocation attempts-afraid to report for fear he would take off with the kids.

-August 2011-he refused to drop the OW, weeks later announced his relationship with OW on FB for all of my friends and family to see, the morning after a violent sexual assault. I saw my 'out' and asked for the divorce and he immediately moved in with the OW.

-I started scrambling...applied for state benefits, legal aid, tried to get help with utilities. 

-By mid-October, due to no money for utilities, kids and I were forced to move to my mom's house 45 minutes away, kids changed schools. My husband took possession of my vehicle on the day I moved into my moms..literally 5 minutes after setting up the boys beds, leaving me to rely on borrowing my mom's car ...(8 hour window per day)

-My STBXH was served by the FL DOR , ran to a lawyer and found out how much child support and alimony was going to be based on his income of 100K+ with lots more hidden in business costs. I've been a SAHM since 2002.

-In late October, mortgage company pounced on empty house and posted notice that they were going to change locks, clear out property and winterize the property. STBXH told me that he cleared everything out that was worth anything/related to the business...the bulk of his work equipment was kept in a utility trailer that had been moved to the OW's driveway.

-My STBXH totaled my vehicle in a car accident(calling me from inside the vehicle before he had thought to call 911, OW was also in the vehicle) and injuries that he had from a work accident in 2003/2004 suddenly became a problem again preventing him from working...even though he can hire others and run it from bed. 

-I enrolled in Spring 2012 classes,thinking I could get a 2 year degree, using extra financial aid/loans to purchase used car to expand my availability for work...found out I could only have fin. aid released if my husband completed 2010 tax returns...he refused citing that he would be 'screwed' if he had anything showing his income. 

-I have been applying for jobs like mad, a handful of interviews, no luck with regular jobs...even entry level/no experience jobs are not interested...did land a WAH job with very limited hours a few months ago...have made a total of $412 since March. Family friend sends me $50 a month to buy soap and socks for the kids a little extra for holidays/birthdays, my mom has been buying school supplies/clothes/holidays for the kids above and beyond providing a free place for us to live.

Recently:

-Finally had mediation in April, stbxh generously offered whatever was left in the house the mortgage company took over in November, also offered his business equipment.

-The day after mediation my stbxh calls stating that the abandoned house has been broken into and everything that he offered in mediation was 'stolen'.....yes he is basically stating that everything that he said he moved to the OW's house he moved back to the abandoned house knowing the mortgage company was changing locks and clearing out the property...and yes he was so bold as to complete a police report.

-In mediation I found out that he is pursuing a personal injury lawsuit from the car accident, is applying for SSDI and receiving food stamps. He also coughed up a 2010 tax return showing 103k+ in personal income....$6442. in actual salary. He is claiming that he has had primary custody of the kids since separation in discovery questions....he has been taking them every weekend and setting them up in front of the Xbox...he does not call during the week or make any effort to visit mid week...in the interest of the kids seeing their dad every week, I eventually gave up the weekend time I had with them. 

-The OW is now being investigated by the FL DOR since stbxh had her on payroll from 2008-2010 and may have been funneling monies to her, she was also collecting SSDI at the same time.

-The FL DOR is also taking a closer look at the November car accident and will be looking at the evidence from that and pulling his workman's comp files to compare injuries. 

-Since my stbxh his still hiding his actual business expense break down, the state is filing a motion to compel...they will find that he had 10's of thousands in personal spending hidden in business spending...down payment on a Harley, pet supplies, meals out, etc. 

-Child support/alimony would be 3k+ per month based on what he is capable of making/historical income.....if he gets away with all of this and somehow gets 50/50 parenting time? $14.92 per month. 

-Temp support/parenting time hearing is next week....scared as hell that my kids will have to spend every other week with their dad and the OW....sleeping on couches, with stbxh and OW openly searching for a another woman to act as a 'sister slave'(yeah I have the print outs of those from kink websites)


Wish me luck....I know I won't ever get a dime out of him, my main concern is keeping the kids time with him limited...my 9 year old is already saying every daddy needs to have a wife and a GF to be happy....ughhhh.



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## gpa (Feb 22, 2012)

Set me FREE said:


> recap:
> 
> -2001-present day-emotionally, financially, and sexually abusive relationship...with a handful of suffocation attempts-afraid to report for fear he would take off with the kids.
> 
> ...


I recently had a case like yours. Tooo bad y r not here and see how easy is to force him paying a lot of dimes among other things. Wish y the best.


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

gpa said:


> I recently had a case like yours. Tooo bad y r not here and see how easy is to force him paying a lot of dimes among other things. Wish y the best.


I hope it goes well...my lawyer did a practice run with me over the phone today and I am scared to death that my husband will somehow get what he wants even acting like he has all of this time. Infuriating.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Wow...

Nothing I can say to help - except "good luck!"


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I've gone through all of this too. It's not fun. I have a super attorney, so I'm well taken care of (for the most part). It's no where near what we had before he gutted our business, but I'll take it. Your attorney may want to subpoena your mother as a witness for the hearing. She will be able to testify that you have had custody of the children all the time. You should have no problem getting full custody.

Good luck!


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