# Controlling husband



## Melissa Lou (Jan 22, 2019)

My husband controls everything I do from spending money, furniture for our house, how to discipline our kids to where will go to dinner.. etc.. We have been married for 16 years but somehow just now realizing the control issues and that he has always basically treated me like a child. Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do? I really think it is time for divorce. I’m not happy at all! Advice please!!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Would counselling help?

Why does he control what you do?

Is this because he is a control freak or does he feel he has a legit need to control what you do? I'm not saying that he does have a legit need to control what you do, but that he might think he does.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

The dynamic has been going on for 16 years and he might be thinking it is still working for you. Were you childlike (or young) when you got married and the dynamic of you being treated like a child worked then?

Now that you realize the problem and are upset about it, have you told him that you will not be controlled anymore and that you are an adult with likes, opinions and are perfectly capable of making decisions with him? He will probably balk at the idea of you having so much freedom, but if you are reasonable and don't go crazy (spending, staying out late with your friends, choosing expensive restaurants, etc.) he will realize that you just want to have a say in your own life.


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