# Three lap dances



## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

My husband and I are dealing with a problem - he pod for three lapdances. He did touch. A lot of touching. She encouraged it. I think it was more. He won’t admit anything further.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> He won’t admit anything further.


They rarely do.


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## Goo (9 mo ago)

Trident said:


> They rarely do.


The fact that he admitted this much is a red flag. I've seen on here time and again where both genders will say the absolute minimum for fear they will be caught out and nothing more. I'd swap stripper for sex worker and touch for "the deed". As a guy who once drunkenly paid for a lap dance they're strict on the rules of no touching. They work a shift and its a job to these women nothing more or less. The rules are there to protect workers, clients and management. But maybe there are exceptions in sleazier establishments but why? They'd risk getting manhandled by unwashed heavy drinkers or worse. The time I did it I forgot not to touch, was promptly warned, and after she gave me her business card to purchase more in a private venue. It would be a good idea to get screened for STDs and check your bank accounts for payments you don't recognise. It might be a nice way of saying sorry dear I've been seeing sex workers.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> I know this is an older post but my husband and I are dealing with a similar problem - he pod for three lapdances. He did touch. A lot of touching. She encouraged it. I think it was more. He won’t admit anything further.


You posted this on a zombie (old) thread. So, I moved it to a thread of your own so you can get input.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> You posted this on a zombie (old) thread. So, I moved it to a thread of your own so you can get input.


Thank you!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> I know this is an older post but my husband and I are dealing with a similar problem - he pod for three lapdances. He did touch. A lot of touching. She encouraged it. I think it was more. He won’t admit anything further.


How long ago did he do this? How did you find out?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Of course sexual contacts between patrons and strippers never happens. Except when it does, of course.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> How long ago did he do this? How did you find out?


It was less than two weeks ago. He says he’s sorry but says he didn’t even think about us when giving himself permission to do this. 
I did find out. Because I caught him. And since, he hasn’t been forthcoming about anything.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> My husband and I are dealing with a problem - he pod for three lapdances. He did touch. A lot of touching. She encouraged it. I think it was more. He won’t admit anything further.


Well...I know from my BIL that many of the clubs in Detroit u can pay anywhere from $25 to $100 for a BJ and even more if u want a full "private" session. 
Why was he at the strip club? Is this something he does on occassion? I would be concerned, my sister and her H had to relocate because of her H's addiction to porn and strippers. He had the girl's phone numbers and texted them on thebside and even went out for a drink supposedly with a couple of them.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

A married man should never let another woman grind on his crotch, he shouldn't fondle another woman, or pay a woman for sexual gratification. 

But you already know that, and he already knows that but did it anyway.

So did you have a question or just venting?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Lap Dance x3 with Touching and MARRIED


My husband recently went away for business and I exposed him in a series of lies that have completely changed my feelings towards him. Backstory: friends 20+ years, living together for 10, children together (under 7), married just a year and a half ago. We have kept the children home doing...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com





Did you forget about this thread you started on April 14th?


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

A lot of the rules regarding touching at strip clubs are related to alcohol rules and local/state laws. I’ve been in places where they have to be fully clothed to do a lap dance and also places where they were totally naked and touching was encouraged. Before I met my wife I knew some rather “entrepreneurial” women who told me that the place they stripped at anything could happen. They worked their way up to legit porn stars and one of them was even a Penthouse Pet of the month in 2013. It’s not a time period in my life that I’m proud of and I would never do something like that now. I will say this, in my experience although sex can be available at a strip club (I never did it and never saw it happening but I heard stories) the likelihood of it happening is still extremely low. If I were making a bet just based on what I know from your thread I’d bet he just got a lap dance.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Well...I know from my BIL that many of the clubs in Detroit u can pay anywhere from $25 to $100 for a BJ and even more if u want a full "private" session.
> Why was he at the strip club? Is this something he does on occassion? I would be concerned, my sister and her H had to relocate because of her H's addiction to porn and strippers. He had the girl's phone numbers and texted them on thebside and even went out for a drink supposedly with a couple of them.


He was out of the country when he did this. I suspect that was part of the thrill. He reiterated it was topless and “not like Canada”. Well, here, you’re not supposed to touch. He mauled. The downplaying is repulsive. I believe it was more. A cheater NEVER divulges everything. In part because the experience is as much about the sex as power and feeling risky.
He says she came and talked with him and 2 business partners. She engaged him most. They agreed on a lap dance. He went and took out cash IN THE CLUB. $60 to be exact. And gave it all at once.


Blondilocks said:


> Lap Dance x3 with Touching and MARRIED
> 
> 
> My husband recently went away for business and I exposed him in a series of lies that have completely changed my feelings towards him. Backstory: friends 20+ years, living together for 10, children together (under 7), married just a year and a half ago. We have kept the children home doing...
> ...


Nope. Not at all.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

If strippers never had sex with their clients/customers, Lunden Roberts would not be a mother, would she?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> He was out of the country when he did this. I suspect that was part of the thrill. He reiterated it was topless and “not like Canada”. Well, here, you’re not supposed to touch. He mauled. The downplaying is repulsive. I believe it was more. A cheater NEVER divulges everything. In part because the experience is as much about the sex as power and feeling risky.
> He says she came and talked with him and 2 business partners. She engaged him most. They agreed on a lap dance. He went and took out cash IN THE CLUB. $60 to be exact. And gave it all at once.
> 
> Nope. Not at all.


$60 won't get you very far. The last time I was in a strip club lap dances were $20 per song. A quick search says that may still be accurate. So three lap dances for $60 is totally possible.


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

OP,

It all comes down to what are you going to do about this?

He won't be forthcoming if he doesn't have to.

If you allow him to remain silent about what really happened, he will remain silent.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

A18S37K14H18 said:


> He won't be forthcoming if he doesn't have to.


Especially if he is still getting wild sex from his wife.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

The thing is he might have already told you everything. You don’t seem like you will be satisfied unless he tells you more went on.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

CallingDrLove said:


> The thing is he might have already told you everything. You don’t seem like you will be satisfied unless he tells you more went on.


That's the problem with breaking trust isn't it. The person who's trust is broken then doesn't believe you.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> That's the problem with breaking trust isn't it. The person who's trust is broken then doesn't believe you.


I’m not disagreeing with that.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> $60 won't get you very far. The last time I was in a strip club lap dances were $20 per song. A quick search says that may still be accurate. So three lap dances for $60 is totally possible.


The banking was properly posted recently. He said he took $60 out. Cdn it shows $91. I know there are fees for US ATM use on top of the fee charged by the merchant. He has private funds in different accounts but things aren’t adding up and his dates are off by a day. He also had $45.00 charged to our credit card plus he had other cash on hand. He admitted to “throwing some bills and a lapdance”. 🤦🏼‍♀️


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> $60 won't get you very far. The last time I was in a strip club lap dances were $20 per song. A quick search says that may still be accurate. So three lap dances for $60 is totally possible.


And he handed her the $60 at once I believe. What was the expectation? Did they discuss paying $60 for 3? How does that work? The $60 was also $91 plus cash he had and anything he withdrew from private accounts I don’t see. I’ve asked for statements. I doubt I’ll ever see or know the full truth.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

A18S37K14H18 said:


> OP,
> 
> It all comes down to what are you going to do about this?
> 
> ...


I don’t know. If young children weren’t involved, I’d be gone in a flash. I’ve started my own therapy to pick up my pieces.

He’s doing the same but he just doesn’t get it. We’ve been talking a lot the last week and I’ve just lost faith. I don’t think he’s trying for the right reasons. He has a lot to lose if I leave. In my heart, I think I know what this will come to. I just can’t make that move until September so I’m learning to cope with the damage.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> Especially if he is still getting wild sex from his wife.


He isn’t getting. He got. It wasn’t for him - it was for me. It was a trauma response. Wrong? Sure. It hasn’t continued and we both know why it happened. I did my reading to made an informed decision. At least I got my piece even if it was hollow. 🤷🏼‍♀️


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> The thing is he might have already told you everything. You don’t seem like you will be satisfied unless he tells you more went on.


Totally possible. I recognize that. Also possible I’m trying to be hurt further to allow myself that final bomb to leave. Thing is, there is still significant ‘evidence’ that doesnt line up with his story.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> Totally possible. I recognize that. Also possible I’m trying to be hurt further to allow myself that final bomb to leave. Thing is, there is still significant ‘evidence’ that doesnt line up with his story.


You could suggest a lie detector test.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

MattMatt said:


> If strippers never had sex with their clients/customers, Lunden Roberts would not be a mother, would she?


Ah, Lunden Roberts, the pride of my alma mater. Of course that was well after I attended school there.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> If strippers never had sex with their clients/customers, Lunden Roberts would not be a mother, would she?











Who is Lunden Roberts and when did she have a baby with Hunter Biden?


LUNDEN Roberts was believed to be a stripper at a Washington DC club who had a child with Joe Biden’s son Hunter in August of 2018. Roberts reportedly got pregnant around the time Hunter had …




www.the-sun.com


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> He isn’t getting. He got. It wasn’t for him - it was for me. It was a trauma response. Wrong? Sure. It hasn’t continued and we both know why it happened. I did my reading to made an informed decision. At least I got my piece even if it was hollow. 🤷🏼‍♀️


sounds a bit hollow, yes… are you sure your needs are not going to trick you again? Asking for a friend… 😊


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> sounds a bit hollow, yes… are you sure your needs are not going to trick you again? Asking for a friend… 😊


Did you just recently lose your sense of decency or have you never had any to begin with? Asking for a friend. 😉 ✌


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> Did you just recently lose your sense of decency or have you never had any to begin with? Asking for a friend. 😉 ✌


Let me ask my friend… 😊


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## loblawbobblog (9 mo ago)

I've been to strip clubs for bachelor parties, the strippers can and will touch you everywhere with every part of their bodies. Usually the guy has to keep his hands to himself, but not always. Almost certain it didn't go farther than groping. I get how that's disturbing but if he's not making a regular habit of it, it doesn't mean anything. Now, the strippers you hire for a house party are a whole other ballgame. My bachelor party was at my best man's house. I had no idea what I was in for, but everything short of actual sex was on the table. I did not partake but most of the guys there did. Ladies, I may get my man card taken away for this, but you should know what goes on at bachelor parties thrown at private homes.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

loblawbobblog said:


> I've been to strip clubs for bachelor parties, the strippers can and will touch you everywhere with every part of their bodies. Usually the guy has to keep his hands to himself, but not always. Almost certain it didn't go farther than groping. I get how that's disturbing but if he's not making a regular habit of it, it doesn't mean anything. Now, the strippers you hire for a house party are a whole other ballgame. My bachelor party was at my best man's house. I had no idea what I was in for, but everything short of actual sex was on the table. I did not partake but most of the guys there did. Ladies, I may get my man card taken away for this, but you should know what goes on at bachelor parties thrown at private homes.


I never understood why some people think it is okay to do things at a bachelor/bachelorette party that wouldn't be okay to do when you are married.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I never understood why some people think it is okay to do things at a bachelor/bachelorette party that wouldn't be okay to do when you are married.


Especially as most people have been living together for many years by then.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

What does it matter if he spent $45 or $100? HE IS A MARRIED MAN! Does the money gage his faithfulness to you? Does $45 dollars of cheating make you feel better than $100 of cheating?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Cooper said:


> What does it matter if he spent $45 or $100? HE IS A MARRIED MAN! Does the money gage his faithfulness to you? Does $45 dollars of cheating make you feel better than $100 of cheating?


The higher the sum, the more likely he got more than a lap dance, which I doubt.
Still cheating but……


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

Cooper said:


> What does it matter if he spent $45 or $100? HE IS A MARRIED MAN! Does the money gage his faithfulness to you? Does $45 dollars of cheating make you feel better than $100 of cheating?


You’re absolutely right. I’m trying to understand intention. It doesn’t matter beyond that. I’m just torturing myself.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Jane Doe 82 said:


> You’re absolutely right. I’m trying to understand intention. It doesn’t matter beyond that. I’m just torturing myself.


What's to understand? He was getting his jollies, intent was basic lust.


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## Jane Doe 82 (9 mo ago)

Cooper said:


> What's to understand? He was getting his jollies, intent was basic lust.


How simple.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Is this the 'lite' version of the other thread?

I noticed a lot of focus on the transactions, how about cash withdrawals? 
Of course cheaters can always get their mates to pay and they pay them back in other ways, watch out for those too.

That's if you are really curious.


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