# You Women, I Swear...



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

So wifey isn't a big purse fan. She tried to avoid them but gave in in her early 40's and started using them. We are paupers but I want her to have nice things. It drove me nuts that she'd buy these cheap purses at Ross... for $30 and they last for 6 months or so. 

So the last time we were at the beach together I was trying to get her to buy a good quality purse. She found one at a Coach store (EXPENSIVE!!!) but I couldn't get her to get the one she liked (on a 60% sale for $200). I begged her. Nope. Too expensive.

OK, so she goes to California to visit her parents for a week (all the ladies in her family go to some spa place for a weekend each year blah blah blah) and I went to the coast with my best friend and bought her the purse. It comes in a classy bag.... and I placed it on the dining room table for when she returned. I was at work and I knew she'd squeal with delight, call me, make me service her when I got home, make my favorite dinner.... 

Oddly, I never heard from her. Got home and the bag was still on the table and so I cautiously quizzed her. Come to find out, in two weeks, she no longer liked that style. 

No delightful squealing.

No "I love it!" calls at work.

No favorite dinner.

Got to service her, but she'd been gone for a week, so that hardly counts for anything.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Maybe I should just watch football on TV.

Oh, btw, we're going to the beach this weekend and she is taking the purse back. She's undecided if she will exchange it or get out money back. I think I'll just mind my own business. 

OK, end of rant. Now back to our regularly scheduled threads.


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

Don't know what to tell you, man. I don't carry a purse, and I haven't the foggiest what a "coach bag" is (I honestly thought it was some sort of sporting good). But, I'm a different sort of woman...


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I am a woman who buys $30 crap purses and if I got a $200 purse as a gift from someone who knew I wasn't into purses and didn't want one so expensive, I would be pissed at the waste of money. 

Why not spend $200 on something that she actually wanted?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

HappyGilmore said:


> Don't know what to tell you, man. I don't carry a purse, and I haven't the foggiest what a "coach bag" is (I honestly thought it was some sort of sporting good). But, I'm a different sort of woman...


I didn't know what one either until a gal at work got hers stolen. It cost her $5,000. For a friggin' purse. Her insurance carrier paid the claim, but dropped her. They have these Outlet Malls things around here that are popular and one at the beach has a Coach Purse store. Really wanted her to get one, but you females are soooooooooooooooooooooo picky and fickle.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I am a woman who buys $30 crap purses and if I got a $200 purse as a gift from someone who knew I wasn't into purses and didn't want one so expensive, I would be pissed at the waste of money.
> 
> Why not spend $200 on something that she actually wanted?


[sigh] I think I'll go drown myself in the shower now. :scratchhead:


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Not me, I like my expensive purses....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Sorry your wife didn't appreciate your gift.

I have a couple expensive purses, (one was gift and the other was a treat for myself), but I get more compliments on $30 purses I buy at Target. Go figure.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

If you go into a Coach store, sign up for their internet private sales. They are GREAT! I love their bags, they do last FOREVER. But they are never at stores like TJ Maxx or Marshall's like some of the other high end bags (e.g. Dourney & Bourke, Michael Korrs). That's where you can REALLY get a good price for a nice bag.


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> I didn't know what one either until a gal at work got hers stolen. It cost her $5,000. For a friggin' purse. Her insurance carrier paid the claim, but dropped her. They have these Outlet Malls things around here that are popular and one at the beach has a Coach Purse store. Really wanted her to get one, but you females are soooooooooooooooooooooo picky and fickle.


Oh, you are so droll...:lol: ("Picky and fickle"--I find this humorous)

If I carried a purse, I would prefer not to have one that costs $5,000. Too much pressure.

But, thankfully, I'm satisfied with just stuffing things into my pockets--that way, I can't forget them, or leave them, or have some sort of purse-snatcher take all of my vital things whilst I'm distracted.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

thefam said:


> If you go into a Coach store, sign up for their internet private sales. They are GREAT! I love their bags, they do last FOREVER. But they are never at stores like TJ Maxx or Marshall's like some of the other high end bags (e.g. Dourney & Bourke, Michael Korrs). That's where you can REALLY get a good price for a nice bag.


I'll pass that along to wifey.

Thanks


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> So wifey isn't a big purse fan. She tried to avoid them but gave in in her early 40's and started using them. We are paupers but I want her to have nice things. It drove me nuts that she'd buy these cheap purses at Ross... for $30 and they last for 6 months or so.
> 
> So the last time we were at the beach together I was trying to get her to buy a good quality purse. She found one at a Coach store (EXPENSIVE!!!) but I couldn't get her to get the one she liked (on a 60% sale for $200). I begged her. Nope. Too expensive.
> 
> ...


They make purses/bags on the cheap side so you can afford to update your style. $200 bag lasts too long. I have one and I love it, but I don't use it all the time. I usually have another bag that costs about $30 or less on sale and I'll use it until it's no longer in my good graces then I fill it with giveaway stuff and leave it at the swap shop. 

Now a $700 backpack, is a different story, or a good cook stove or a lightweight sleeping bag, hiking books, etc. Those are a different class of goods entirely. (For me.)

You just have to find what does make your wife click. It's not handbags. 

By the way, you're around a lot longer than her purse choices....


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> Really wanted her to get one, but you females are soooooooooooooooooooooo picky and fickle.


I don't think it's picky and fickle to not want a coach purse or even like one but not want to buy it for that much. (I just googled them, some are pretty but wouldn't be worth the money. I could get a whole new outfit with shoes for that much! Also if I saw one just out I wouldn't be able to tell if it was coach or walmart) 

You wanted her to have one, maybe your picky and fickle for not liking the Ross bags


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> By the way, you're around a lot longer than her purse choices....


HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That's true. I hadn't thought of that.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I don't think it's picky and fickle to not want a coach purse or even like one but not want to buy it for that much. (I just googled them, some are pretty but wouldn't be worth the money. I could get a whole new outfit with shoes for that much! Also if I saw one just out I wouldn't be able to tell if it was coach or walmart)
> 
> You wanted her to have one, maybe your picky and fickle for not liking the Ross bags


OK, I'm starting to get beaten up here. I think I will retreat to a safe haven.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I don't think it's picky and fickle to not want a coach purse or even like one but not want to buy it for that much. (I just googled them, some are pretty but wouldn't be worth the money. I could get a whole new outfit with shoes for that much! *Also if I saw one just out I wouldn't be able to tell if it was coach or walmart*)
> 
> You wanted her to have one, maybe your picky and fickle for not liking the Ross bags


I don't think that's the point, at least for me it's not. It's that they take punishment well and still look nice. A Target bag is going to look worn if you tend to be hard on bags. But I do get it that some women really don't care that much. They would rather put that money into a whole outfit or piece of jewelry, etc etc.

I don't think we will ever have enough money to justify purchasing a $5,000 bag, though.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> OK, I'm starting to bet beaten up here. I think I will retreat to a safe haven.


No, no. In fact I should have said first that the thought is what matters most and the fact that you were thinking of her, trying to do something nice is amazing and she should be happy about that.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> OK, I'm starting to get beaten up here. I think I will retreat to a safe haven.


Hey thatguy I ain't mad atcha. If I came home to a coach bag on the table I would probably go straight to my husband's office and ...

never mind.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Two words for you BP...

Gift...Card...

I don't buy d!ck for a woman anymore, except flowers. If I want to get her a purse, I give her a GC for a store that sells purses. If I want to give her jewelry...a GC for Zales or somesuch...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> You wanted her to have one, maybe your picky and fickle for not liking the Ross bags


oh... you're good!


I value quality. I'm also a tight arse. However the handbags that have cost up to a few hundred have lasted me a few years at a time and my husband has encouraged this (because I'm a tight arse). The last time he bought me a handbag, the one I'm currently using, was when I had some birthday spending money and was considering a new bag. He hadn't seen the one I was looking at, just knew I'd hesitated about the price. He bought me a beautiful bag in the range I was looking at.. but not the one I was eying. I like the one he chose better! My heart fluttered but I didn't squeal. I don't do that. 

I couldn't justify spending a few grand though. I'd much rather we get our backpacks out and travel with that amount of money. 

Sorry that your wife didn't like it. At least she was honest about it. Sounds as though you had a fantasy of how things would go down from your 'good deed' and just wanted her to be happy... which in turn would make you happy. Here's to you being happy together, regardless of the handbag.


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> OK, I'm starting to get beaten up here. I think I will retreat to a safe haven.


:lol:
Oh for criminitly's sake! :rofl: You come upon the Lady's Lounge, call us wimmenz "picky and fickle," several of us take exception to that, and then you say you are being beaten up? Come now, it can't be that bad, can it?

(I'm really just giving you a hard time. Please don't take offense.)


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

The thread title alone 'You Women...'

He knew what he was doing. _Us females_ have been gentle on him, considering.

Is this where I put the wink emoticon?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Your wife needs to stay away from California and women that buy expensive purses.



When it comes to buying <insert ANYTHING> it comes down to budget. What you can afford.

if you have plenty of savings, lots of spending money, no debt.......go nuts.

if you don't, you might want to stick to ONE $30 purse and make it last.

If you think $$$$ buys quality this day and age, you would be COMPLETELY wrong. There is always a "sweet" spot when it comes to ANYTHING. I'm SURE she can get a quality long lasting purse for 50-100 bucks......

In most cases, more you pay for something.....bigger the profit margin.....more complex, more expensive to fix/maintain etc.

I like to use cars are an example. Go ahead and buy a mercedes or BMW and let's see how long it "lasts". hehe


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

I think you married a VERY good woman. You said in your OP that you are paupers. You could easily be married to a woman who thought she was entitled to such things, even when you could not afford them.

Your wife lives within your means and doesn't want to make poor decisions. Good for her!:smthumbup:


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I think I am the odd one out here. He thought about her admiring the bag earlier and then we went to buy it for her. I would have been surprised and thrilled if my H did this for me..

We aren't people to buy stuff like that. And I don't really carry a purse unless me and H are going on a date. 

One year for my Bday, he got me a coach wallet (he knew that I only carry the diaper bag around). A couple of months later, he bought the matching purse. It was so thoughtful of him because he is terrible at gift giving! But this surprised me and was so sweet. No, I don't use it everyday...but it does get use on date nights or if H is home with the kids and I want to run a few errands and I need a bag to carry errand stuff in (Pens, lists, envelopes, my ridiculously huge phone..it's a galaxy note... doesn't fit in hardly any pocket  )

Yes. We could have spent the money on something else, but it was the fact that he thought about something I said I liked and he went out of his way to get it for me. I am sure I won't get another expensive bag...maybe ever, but definitely not for another 15-20 years. So, I think one time is ok.

No way would I have told him I didn't like it and to take it back. It would have hurt his feelings so bad and I honestly couldn't do that to him especially knowing that he put so much thought into it and was so excited to hand me the bag. 

I don't know. I sort of think it was a little rude. But, I always seem to be on the opposite side of some of the ladies here. Sometimes I think something is wrong with me. 

The other ladies have great insight too!


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

staarz21 said:


> I think I am the odd one out here. He thought about her admiring the bag earlier and then we went to buy it for her. I would have been surprised and thrilled if my H did this for me..
> 
> We aren't people to buy stuff like that. And I don't really carry a purse unless me and H are going on a date.
> 
> ...


I think it depends on how practical you are. I know that unexpected expenses arise and if you are already living a tight budget, you might need that extra $500 one day. In my life, that has been exceedingly true. We were hit hard this year by unexpected taxes and medical costs that ran 5 digits. It happens! So, the purse may be a nice gesture, but nice gestures don't have to come with big price tags.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I would have been tickled at first then wondered why he wasted our money on an expensive bag when he could have wasted our money on expensive shoes instead. He knows I'm all about the shoes and I have more than enough classic nice bags to last a while.

Choose gifts based on what your spouse is into or risk feeling unappreciated if your spouse isn't the type to oooh and aahh over things they aren't thrilled about.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

SurpriseMyself said:


> I think it depends on how practical you are. I know that unexpected expenses arise and if you are already living a tight budget, you might need that extra $500 one day. In my life, that has been exceedingly true. We were hit hard this year by unexpected taxes and medical costs that ran 5 digits. It happens! So, the purse may be a nice gesture, but nice gestures don't have to come with big price tags.


Yeah, I understand that. 

I always worry about stuff like that considering we only have his income. However, He has taught me that we can't always live based on what if. We should enjoy it sometimes (not all of the time, maybe one a year or so) and get something nice for ourselves. Otherwise, we aren't giving ourselves a break. 

If we didn't have the money at the time, I don't think he would have got it. But waiting for the unexpected....and never enjoying anything, just seems (to me) a waste of a life. I think many people forget that life can be more than just bills (obviously, pay them!), and try to have a safety net, but don't forget to enjoy it once in a while!! 

Obviously, I've gone past a purse here haha. I don't even know if I am explaining it correctly.  We can't predict what's going to happen so why not enjoy something nice once in a while? I think that is what I am trying to say


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I would have done all of the things the OP fantasized about if I'd come home to a Coach purse too. BUT...the point is...what does your wife like? Is this something SHE wanted or something YOU wanted her to have? That's the difference. My ex husband always bought me things for Christmas that he wanted me to have but didn't get me things I had specifically asked for and I resented it because I felt he wasn't listening to me and respecting my preferences.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

bpguy... As one who LOVES quality handbags, I would have definitely "oohed" and "ahhed" over the Coach bag!

Your thinking is correct... $30 handbags wear out (and look cheap) after just a few months.

I have Coach bags and Michael Kors bags (my favorite) that were in the $200-$300 range that I have carried for 10 years -- they still look as good as the day I bought them. I spot clean the fabric ones regularly, keep the leather ones soft with leather cleaner, and still get compliments every time I carry them. 

So although pricey on the front end, by my way of thinking, it was money well spent. Sometimes, more $$$ really DOES = better quality 

You could send the bag here if she truly doesn't want it! :rofl:


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think it was a nice gesture, and she should have shown appreciation, but I think it was misplaced.

A purse is a personal item with lots of variation, the sort of thing that a woman really needs to pick out for herself. There are all sorts of tradeoffs between practicality, durability and style. 

My wife buys medium-expensive purses (couple X$100) because they last longer than the cheap junk....and I think because they are more stylish. She hates the idea of a really expensive purse... which is a form of caring about style in itself. 

I think its a lot like a watch. I don't want a cheap junk watch that will break. I don't want to look like the sort of guy who feels he needs a Rolex to make up for other... inadequacies. It would be a nice gesture if my wife bought me a watch, but really I'd like to get one myself. 


I'm really not a fan of things as gifts. I think the best gifts in a relationship are given naked (or mostly naked) in bed.  Its something that no one else can provide and which isn't available on Amazon.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think your wife handled it poorly.

you made a special effort to get something she liked (at least at one time) 

she should have been thankful she has a man who made some extra effort to buy his wife a nice gift.

Wow babe thanks I can't believe you went all the way back there and got me this!!!!! Thanks again. followed by the horizontal bombo with some extra special loving for you on her part!

Then after she could say You know I really don't like it all that much especially with how much it cost would you be upset if I returned it and bought something else? 

In which you could reply cool ....what you going to buy me? then say just joking come over here and give me some more of that sweet lovin!!!!!!


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

staarz21 said:


> Yeah, I understand that.
> 
> I always worry about stuff like that considering we only have his income. However, He has taught me that we can't always live based on what if. We should enjoy it sometimes (not all of the time, maybe one a year or so) and get something nice for ourselves. Otherwise, we aren't giving ourselves a break.
> 
> ...


Very true. It depends on what you enjoy. In my life, I want experiences, not things. I don't own anything expensive and don't really want to. I want to do and be.


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

I would've been so incredibly touched at the gesture as well as the attention, love, time, and effort that went into getting the gift. Regardless of whether or not it was the style I liked best anymore or what, I would've treasured the gift for what it represented and would've preferred it and used it over other bags. Your wife is lucky. It's too bad she didn't appreciate such a loving gesture, and didn't reward it in the least. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

As difficult as it is to get it right giving a gift, it is even harder to properly accept the gift.

She sees the bag and knows the thought and effort, not to mention expense, you put into this gift. How to respond?

Do I squeal with delight and cherish this gift? Knowing that this response will lead to more potential gifts of this sort? 

Considering that my initial response to this purse was that I liked it but wasn't sure I liked it enough to spend that money on it, thinking of the other things I also want, which do I want more-those other things or this purse which I do like. But I also need dress shoes for the holidays coming up and while this purse is awesome the shoes might be more pressing. So if I get this purse does this mean I have to make do with the mostly worn dress shoes? Naw, I'll pass on the purse and make do so that I can get the shoes.

Decision over, she passed on the purse but now you've purchased it for her and though she is pleased and touched she is worried that she won't be able to get the shoes and worried that you might make a habit of "not reading her correctly" and thus continue the gesture of buying her expensive gifts which means the other expensive things she might want she won't get.

In case my husband is reading... Get the purse! Of course I won't be able to squeal while in a dead faint but you'll figure it out.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There's no Coach bag that costs $5,000. That must have been some upper end designer bag in that example of the one that got stolen.

BP guy...I think it backfired on you because you are "saying something" to her with the purse other than just "here's a gift". You're also saying "I don't like your cheap-azz Ross bags".


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Expensive purses are like wallet chains. Anybody with a wallet chain doesn't have any money in their wallet anyway.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Um...I know lots of women who have lots of money to put in their very expensive purses. Not sure what you are getting at Fozzy.

For myself, I want my accessories to match what I can afford. I'm glad I can afford better than Ross (though I love them and go there anyway!) but I'd never carry a purse (or shoes, etc) that was more expensive than what my lifestyle could actually support.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> So wifey isn't a big purse fan. She tried to avoid them but gave in in her early 40's and started using them. We are paupers but I want her to have nice things. It drove me nuts that she'd buy these cheap purses at Ross... for $30 and they last for 6 months or so.
> 
> So the last time we were at the beach together I was trying to get her to buy a good quality purse. She found one at a Coach store (EXPENSIVE!!!) but I couldn't get her to get the one she liked (on a 60% sale for $200). *I begged her. Nope. Too expensive*.


She basically already let you know, that while the purse looked nice, she did not want it. You went ahead and bought it for her anyway, and then you expect her to jump for joy? :scratchhead:

I think I'm like your wife, in that I love my cheap purses. I have a $20 target purse and a Coach purse my mom bought me years ago. Honestly, my Target purse has held up just as well as the expensive one and I love my Target purse a lot more. I think it looks better and has better features(helpful pockets in the right places). You pay big money for a name brand(Coach, Dooney and Bourke, etc.), but that does not mean it will hold up better than other more inexpensive purses. I really dislike the look of many of the name brand purses, too. 

If my husband spent hundreds on a purse, honestly, I would be pretty upset. I would see it as a waste of money(much better spent elsewhere - a weekend away?  ), a disapproval of the bags I like(what's wrong with cheap purses?), and that he wasn't listening to me(said it was too expensive, didn't want it). If she likes the Ross bags, then I think you should back off and let her get those.


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

But seriously, OP. I've given you a just little "razzing," but honestly, I think your wife should have shown some appreciation. A "wow, thank you," or something would have been appropriate (I can't attest to squealing, though, as I don't even do that myself because my voice cannot reach that octave--I'm a profound alto, so it doesn't work). But something would have been nice, I can see where you are coming from.

However, she also didn't want anything too expensive, which is understandable. You two are on a budget, and an expensive purse may not be on her list of priorities. I can see both sides of this. 

The sum total of this is she should have shown a bit more verbal appreciation, and perhaps you might have taken the cue that she may have wanted to save money on something like this.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I never realized men cared so much about purses. I used to buy the crap ones too until I finally bought an expensive Dooley and Burke. My hb thought it was great and made ugly comments about my crap purses.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

HappyGilmore said:


> :lol:
> Oh for criminitly's sake! :rofl: You come upon the Lady's Lounge, call us wimmenz "picky and fickle," several of us take exception to that, and then you say you are being beaten up? Come now, it can't be that bad, can it?
> 
> (I'm really just giving you a hard time. Please don't take offense.)


None taken, I realized I had really put my foot in my mouth and wished I hadn't.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> bpguy... You could send the bag here if she truly doesn't want it! :rofl:


If I did, it'd magically become her favorite purse.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> There's no Coach bag that costs $5,000. That must have been some upper end designer bag in that example of the one that got stolen.
> 
> BP guy...I think it backfired on you because you are "saying something" to her with the purse other than just "here's a gift". You're also saying "I don't like your cheap-azz Ross bags".


That's true. All I know is that the stolen purse cost $5K. I assumed it was a Coach.

Oh I have told her straight up I want her to have nice things and to stop shopping at cheap stores. I help her find $$$ things on incredible sales so she can have nice things to wear. When we met she lived in a dank basement apt, could only heat it to 55 and wore used or Walmart clothing. Poor as we are, I made myself a promise she would have nice things. And I am very resourceful. She has top Nike shoes I get 60% off on, work next to the lagest Nordsrom Rack in the country so I help find beautiful $200 sweaters for $40, see to it she gets a new Carolla every 8 years..... a wife should always have nice things.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

happy as a clam said:


> bpguy... As one who LOVES quality handbags, I would have definitely "oohed" and "ahhed" over the Coach bag!
> 
> Your thinking is correct... $30 handbags wear out (and look cheap) after just a few months.
> 
> ...


*LOVE* Michael Kors! I just got this one a few months ago...originally $368....pd $197. 










I still like my Dooney & Bourkes too.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> Two words for you BP...
> 
> Gift...Card...
> 
> I don't buy d!ck for a woman anymore, except flowers. If I want to get her a purse, I give her a GC for a store that sells purses. If I want to give her jewelry...a GC for Zales or somesuch...


I like flowers....carnations please!


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> That's true. All I know is that the stolen purse cost $5K. I assumed it was a Coach.
> 
> Oh I have told her straight up I want her to have nice things and to stop shopping at cheap stores. I help her find $$$ things on incredible sales so she can have nice things to wear. When we met she lived in a dank basement apt, could only heat it to 55 and wore used or Walmart clothing. Poor as we are, I made myself a promise she would have nice things. And I am very resourceful. She has top Nike shoes I get 60% off on, work next to the lagest Nordsrom Rack in the country so I help find beautiful $200 sweaters for $40, see to it she gets a new Carolla every 8 years..... a wife should always have nice things.


That's very sweet of you...actually. My husband tries to insist that I get nice things. A common refrain from my husband is "will you just pick out something new, for once, instead of stuff from the thrift shop?" He actually has to go clothes shopping with me to make sure that I not only pick things out, but try them on, and buy them. He told me last time "the goal is not to leave the store as quickly as possible, but to get something you like." 

He deserves a medal of courage for it--we both hate shopping equally. :rofl: So, I get the gesture. You're a fine, decent fellow. Just understand that she may be uncomfortable with spending too much money, that's all.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

HappyGilmore said:


> That's very sweet of you...actually. My husband tries to insist that I get nice things. A common refrain from my husband is "will you just pick out something new, for once, instead of stuff from the thrift shop?" He actually has to go clothes shopping with me to make sure that I not only pick things out, but try them on, and buy them. He told me last time "the goal is not to leave the store as quickly as possible, but to get something you like."
> 
> He deserves a medal of courage for it--we both hate shopping equally. :rofl: So, I get the gesture. You're a fine, decent fellow. Just understand that she may be uncomfortable with spending too much money, that's all.


Spot on.

She likes nice things but has a hard time parting with the money. But we have completely revamped her clothing in our 12 years. And hard as it has been, I have restocked her jewelry (lost all in a burglary before we married) and we get to go a few places.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> And here I thought I was causing problems in the Ladie's Powder Room. Bandit.45, I think you had better run for the hills.


It's a lounge... not a Powder Room.

My focus is on your post though. Did your wife thank you at all in any way? It may not have been the reaction you were anticipating but I wondered what her response was aside from saying she was undecided about exchanging/money back. I do think you had good intentions and hope you continue trying to surprise her in ways she may like. Sometimes gifts are hit and miss. It's the nature of the beast.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> . . . .and I placed it on the dining room table for when she returned. . . . .Got home and the bag was still on the table . . .





thatbpguy said:


> [sigh] I think I'll go drown myself in the shower now. :scratchhead:


I think it's weird that she left it on the table; like completely untouched. It was a deliberate show of disapproval. I think she could have been a bit more warm and receptive about it.

Don't drown yourself in the shower  You tried your best, I think it was a wonderful gesture, no matter what.

I feel I must admit that I am one of the minority of women who do not care much about purses. As inexpensive as possible; and maybe with some sparklies on it, that's about it.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> It's a lounge... not a Powder Room.
> 
> My focus is on your post though. Did your wife thank you at all in any way? It may not have been the reaction you were anticipating but I wondered what her response was aside from saying she was undecided about exchanging/money back. I do think you had good intentions and hope you continue trying to surprise her in ways she may like. Sometimes gifts are hit and miss. It's the nature of the beast.


It was odd. When I got home she was like, "is that the one I liked?"

We have agreed to exchange it now. So I'm getting some points.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> But then, where would the beer go?


Good point.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

HappyGilmore said:


> Dude...really?


I have a strange mind. 

I'm amazed I didn't become a serial killer.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> And here I thought I was causing problems in the Ladie's Powder Room. Bandit.45, I think you had better run for the hills.



It's not his fault, us Arizonans shoot first and ask questions later. Hell, look at some of my posts on TAM 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I'd rather have few nice cheaper purses to go with different outfits, than one expensive one, that I am stuck with. The same with watches. And my husband is like youkeeps buying me these overpriced things, but I am family accountant and it only drives me crazy.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> I'd rather have few nice cheaper purses to go with different outfits, than one expensive one, that I am stuck with. The same with watches. And my husband is like youkeeps buying me these overpriced things, but I am family accountant and it only drives me crazy.


Drives me crazy too!


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> I have a strange mind.
> 
> I'm amazed I didn't become a serial killer.


I've often wondered about that...


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

pidge70 said:


> Not me, I like my expensive purses....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm with you Pidge!!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Some women want to pick out their purses--especially if you have picked ANYTHING it is the wrong choice.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

She likes her old purse because she has your balls in it


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> She likes her old purse because she has your balls in it


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## HappyGilmore (Jul 20, 2014)

pidge70 said:


>


:lol: Thank you, Pidge. You just made my day. :rofl:


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> That's true. All I know is that the stolen purse cost $5K. I assumed it was a Coach.
> 
> Oh I have told her straight up I want her to have nice things and to stop shopping at cheap stores. I help her find $$$ things on incredible sales so she can have nice things to wear. When we met she lived in a dank basement apt, could only heat it to 55 and wore used or Walmart clothing. Poor as we are, I made myself a promise she would have nice things. And I am very resourceful. She has top Nike shoes I get 60% off on, work next to the lagest Nordsrom Rack in the country so I help find beautiful $200 sweaters for $40, see to it she gets a new Carolla every 8 years..... a wife should always have nice things.


That's really sweet. My parents are in their 60s now, and my dad has been trying to get my mom to buy herself nice things all his life. When I was growing up, she was always wearing ripped, stained clothing, etc... never set much of an example for me or my sister. Set a horrible example, really. I know now that it's because my mom carries around a lot of self-loathing and seems to think she doesn't DESERVE anything nice, that the money needs to be spent elsewhere.

A lot of women prioritize themselves and their needs dead last, and they need their husbands (or families, or whatever) to make sure they prioritize themselves once in a while. So good for you.

The rejection of the purse has more to do with her and her own issues/thoughts/etc than with anything you did. You were taking care of your woman, you were showing her love. You did good, bro.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Spot on.
> 
> She likes nice things but has a hard time parting with the money. But we have completely revamped her clothing in our 12 years. And hard as it has been, I have restocked her jewelry (lost all in a burglary before we married) and we get to go a few places.


Are you sure she actually likes all of the expensive things? 

I buy almost everything on sale, and would never spend more than a certain amount on clothes, purses, etc. I don't care for fancy things, never have, and would not be happy if my husband pushed me to buy things like that. 

I value experiences over physical items, so spending a lot of money on a purse would be a waste in my opinion. I don't so much have trouble parting with the money, so much as I think it would be the wrong place to spend it. I don't think not liking expensive items means a woman doesn't value herself. Buy me a massage over a purse any day! I would just want to spend money elsewhere. 

Does she like the fancy, more expensive things or is she going along with it all because you like it? 

I believe you said earlier that you promised to give her the nice things in life, but maybe that is not what she wants/is looking for.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ha! You're complaining? For the majority of our marriage, my ex was a "I want it, I get it! I always get what I want" type of woman when it comes to shopping. And if it's not my money it's her parents money that she uses which embarrassed me to hell.

Regardless it turned out she appreciated more, non-material gifts to make her squirm, as anything else she can easily get. Expensive things aren't always the best gifts.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> So wifey isn't a big purse fan. She tried to avoid them but gave in in her early 40's and started using them. We are paupers but I want her to have nice things. It drove me nuts that she'd buy these cheap purses at Ross... for $30 and they last for 6 months or so.
> 
> So the last time we were at the beach together I was trying to get her to buy a good quality purse. She found one at a Coach store (EXPENSIVE!!!) but I couldn't get her to get the one she liked (on a 60% sale for $200). I begged her. Nope. Too expensive.
> 
> ...



For my wifee, I observe things that she would like and I surprise her. I don't buy her items she doesn't like or really want.

Example. She has inexpensive earrings. For our 15th year anniversary, i bought her $1000 for earrings and her birth stone too. She liked them but got mad. Too expensive and now rarely wears them, thinking they will get stolen.

My wifee is frugal and not a princess expecting expensive items. Just not the way she was raised and why would any man want a princess of a woman who is expensive...???


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> For my wifee, I observe things that she would like and I surprise her. I don't buy her items she doesn't like or really want.
> 
> Example. She has inexpensive earrings. For our 15th year anniversary, i bought her $1000 for earrings and her birth stone too. She liked them but got mad. Too expensive and now rarely wears them, thinking they will get stolen.
> 
> My wifee is frugal and not a princess expecting expensive items. Just not the way she was raised and why would any man want a princess of a woman who is expensive...???


Your wife believes in earing her $hit?


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> It was odd. When I got home she was like, "is that the one I liked?"
> 
> We have agreed to exchange it now. So I'm getting some points.


This is a great outcome. 

Points to you for being thoughtful and getting her a gift! 
Points to you for being gracious and accepting that she would prefer something else. 
Points to her, too, for being honest that she would prefer something else. 

I think you've found a win-win.


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

Maybe she likes being able to change purses every few months without feeling guilty. She has already changed her mind about this one. Also like another said her problem maybe you knockingher style and calling her cheap.


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## hardcandy (Sep 16, 2014)

I love my expensive purses and have a collection of Louis Vuitton bags/accessories that range from several hundred to a few thousand dollars. However, I'm on not an expensive shoes person so if my husband spent a lot of money on a nice pair of shoes, I would not be excited and would think that it'd be a waste, too. Bags are just not her thing, find out what her thing is.

Designer bags are timeless. My oldest LV item is a wallet that is 13 years old and still looks great till this day.

Be happy your wife doesn't like $$$ things; it could become a costly hobby that you could not afford.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Hello. My name is yeah_right and I'm a purse wh0re. Have been since I had my first job as a teen. I like cheap bags and moderately expensive. It's the style and construction that speak to me. Soft leather or colorful fabrics. I like it all. Seriously, it's weird. H doesn't even bother trying to get me bags since I take so long to choose a new bag. 

Yeah, it's a "thing" for some women.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Confession... Most of my purses have been given to me by other women since I never buy them. I think they felt sorry for me LOL. 

Too outdoorsy.. don't care for shopping


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## Love Interest TV (Ytuber) (Oct 29, 2014)

Personally I'm content with a very nice looking sturdy inexpensive purse. I kind of understand though...lol!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> For my wifee, I observe things that she would like and I surprise her. I don't buy her items she doesn't like or really want.
> 
> Example. She has inexpensive earrings. For our 15th year anniversary, i bought her $1000 for earrings and her birth stone too. She liked them but got mad. Too expensive and now rarely wears them, thinking they will get stolen.
> 
> My wifee is frugal and not a princess expecting expensive items. Just not the way she was raised and why would any man want a princess of a woman who is expensive...???


I'm sure her reaction was the best 15th Anny present EVER.

Just a validation of how great of a woman she is.

PS. My wife is the same way, she would FLIP if I was to buy her something like that.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

So I took her back to the Coach store and she decided it was the purse she wanted and kept it.

Until she moved into it. 

So back we went for a different one. A more expensive one. She wanted to keep it.

Until she moved into it.

Back we went for a different color. And when they didn't have it she found a different one. A more expensive one. And so she bought it.

Women. I swear.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

thatbpguy said:


> So I took her back to the Coach store and she decided it was the purse she wanted and kept it.
> 
> Until she moved into it.
> 
> ...


Omg...are you kidding???


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Too outdoorsy.. don't care for shopping


Marry me?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Lone Shadow said:


> Marry me?


:rofl:

Sorry..

Blossom's taken.


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Oh whatever will I do now?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Search through 7billion people on the planet


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Hey all right! Travel time! I think I can manage that, if I don't get lost in Australia again.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Lone Shadow said:


> Hey all right! Travel time! I think I can manage that, if I don't get lost in Australia again.


Have fun!:smthumbup:


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Wait a minute, wait just a minute now. Blossom, what are you trying to do to me? I just ran through the numbers. I don't have to search through 7 billion people. Only 3.5 billion. Less than that if you exclude married women and anyone under age. So maybe, _maybe_ 2-2.5 billion.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

See! You are already starting the process of elimination :smthumbup:


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

Have to start somewhere, right? Now I just need to renew my passport. 

I think I'll start my search in Sydney. I remember this bartender from when I was there. Strawberry blonde, about 5'5, Irish but had been in OZ for long enough for a blended accent. 

...I.. um... yeah..


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