# Does society determine our sexuality



## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

I just came back from a trip abroud. I couldn't believe that there were sex shops in some of the airports. The televisions in many of the hotels had graphic ads (for phone sex) that were practically porn. Here in the US television networks have been known to airbrush the nipples off of male wresslers and Terry Hatcher reported that the producers of "desperate housewives" airbrushed her nipples because they were too perky for a general audience. I have been to beaches where women naturally go without tops and many foriegn beaches have "clothing optional" sections. 

When i was single i noticed a profound difference in the relative sexual openness of women depending upon where they were. I found northeast girls (US) to be most uptight while southern girls were much apt to be more adventurous in many ways. Women whose parents were from other parts of the world were also more liberated. 

This brought me to the conclusion that the people percieve a sex act, porn, open relationships etc. is far more a resuld of societal pressure than anything else. IE. I may not be driven to Anal (giving to my wife or exploring on myself) because of some sillly gay stigma. Women may not like giving/recieving oral, lookingat porn, bondage, 3-somes because deep down they feel it is dirty. Granted some activities may be avoided because we percieve them to be painful or dangerous to our health or marriage but...

I thought i would share my new (althought not groundbreakingly original) thought for the purpose of discussion and may help us to understand why we all may act a certain way.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

The United States has always been a bizarre example of two very different cultural attitudes towards sex. The majority are fairly uptight sexually but there are large pockets of sexual liberalism in the far west and east of the country. Culturally it is really two countries. When it comes to sex most countries are fairly uniform in their outlook.

I think it has to do mainly with the history of protestantism in the country with the geographic locations of sexual conservatism roughly equal to those geographic locations where you find the most church going people.

America's has always had a love hate relationship with open sexuality. You have a huge percentage of the population who believes in "god" and goes to church, but the U.S. is also the world's largest producer of porn.

And unlike most other western countries, in the U.S. adultery is considered a greater sin than divorce. And this could very well be WHY the country is the world's biggest producer of porn. Porn is a pleasure best enjoyed alone whereas adultery is a much more public and interpersonal activity. In other words if you're going to "sin" better to do it where the good folks you go to church with won't see you.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

I find it funny that the US, where the sexual revolution technically started (_er, right_?:scratchhead, is still so hung up on sex issues.

My country (in Europe) is viewed by the rest of the world as uber-religious-Catholic, yet when the clock chimes midnight you can view hardcore porn on public tv. Let me repeat that: _public, free_ tv. Ah, dichotomy of it all.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

reachingshore said:


> I find it funny that the US, where the sexual revolution technically started (_er, right_?:scratchhead, is still so hung up on sex issues.
> 
> My country (in Europe) is viewed by the rest of the world as uber-religious-Catholic, yet when the clock chimes midnight you can view hardcore porn on public tv. Let me repeat that: _public, free_ tv. Ah, dichotomy of it all.


The Catholic Church is also of two minds about sex. But it is based on the idea of sin and repentance. They lay down the rules but people are almost expected to break them. A few hail marys and off people go to sexually sin again.

When it comes to marriage and adultery the situation is the exact opposite in France, Italy, Spain and the Latin American countries that it is in the U.S. Divorce is looked upon as the greater sin than is adultery which in some cultures very common especially for men in long term marriages.

You could argue that this is actually better as far as keeping marriages together goes. In America adultery often means an automatic divorce, but in other countries divorce due to taking a lover is almost unheard of.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Hmm.. it might be that in non-US countries people who enter marriage do it more maturely, whereas in America marriage is treated as something disposable? Like that 24h marriage of Britney Spears? It sends a message to people that this kind of behavior is "normal".

On the other hand, as far as I am aware, nobody in Europe has access to Vegas style weddings.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

> According to Sigmund Freud, the father of psychology, sexual repression was the chief psychological problem ailing mankind. He said that constriction and repression of sexual behaviour in youth would manifest in adulthood. We, on the other hand, live in a society that still considers sex as taboo and frown upon ways to relieve one's sexual urges, especially if practiced by the unmarried. Hardly anyone speaks about such important issues that affect several people. Maybe it's because one is afraid of being labelled a deviant, pervert or sexually frustrated.
> 
> Definition
> Sexual repression can be defined as an inability to express one's sexuality. It is often associated with feelings of shame and guilt being attached with expressing sexual impulses. However, sexual ethics differ from culture to culture and what might seem forbidden in one culture might not be so in another. Psychiatrist and sexologist, Dhananjay Gambhire says, "A person's inability to express his or her sexual impulses in a healthy way leads to sexual absenteeism and is known as sexual repression."
> ...


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