# Is anyone back together?



## foreverhurt (Mar 15, 2009)

I guess if people get back together or move on, they may leave here...But, if anyone has gotten back together after having a really bad time of it, please post!! Or maybe you have and you can direct me to it. Just curious and could use some hope??


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

I think you need to hope for a better life in general. You should not depend on other's stories to fuel a false sense of hope in rekindling your lost marriage. You need to move on.

I might sound cold about it, but if you follow this advice you CAN find happiness. Happiness is up to you my friend... take these words as inspiring


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

foreverhurt,

Like tim said... hope and happiness and found within.. You need to look out for yourself now and not worry so much about what may or may not happen... I know its hard and your looking for a sign that maybe things will work out the way you wish... But during this time look within yourself and find something that will make you happy....You cant wait to see if your significant other will return.. I found myself in your shoes... waiting and hoping my wayward wife would realize what she has done and come back to our family and almost 15 year marriage......

Now.... I look towards myself.. I know that in the end my happiness depends on me and how I feel inside... there are days when I miss my wife a great deal then others when I am thankfull that she had the guts to end it for us....... Sadly neither of us were happy.. we were content living our lives separately.... I wish It hadn't come to this... I would have given anything for another chance but I wasnt offered one....

So now I kow that my happiness depends on me and only me... I can chose to have a great life filled with so many exciting things or the same boring depressed life I have been leading...... We hold the key foreverhurt.... When you are tired of hurting you will look forward to a happiness that only you can obtain within yourself..........

My best wishes to you and I am sorry that your in this position... If you want to have faith and hope.... have them in *YOU !!!!*


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## foreverhurt (Mar 15, 2009)

I guess why this was on my mind was because my husband is making a effort now. I had finally gotten to a point I could move on. Was feeling alot better, and starting to find happiness in myself. Sure I still had bad days, but I was also having good days. Now my husband is making an effort and things are going well. I just can't help but to worry I will end up hurt really bad again. I understand if I want my marriage to work I have to take this risk, but it's not easy. I think I just wanted to hear that it does work sometimes.


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

foreverhurt said:


> I guess why this was on my mind was because my husband is making a effort now. I had finally gotten to a point I could move on. Was feeling alot better, and starting to find happiness in myself. Sure I still had bad days, but I was also having good days. Now my husband is making an effort and things are going well. I just can't help but to worry I will end up hurt really bad again. I understand if I want my marriage to work I have to take this risk, but it's not easy. I think I just wanted to hear that it does work sometimes.


Like you said in you initial post.. usually if it does work you never hear from them again...I wish you the best of luck foreverhurt... I wish I could offer some advice but my situation is the opposite.. we are heading towards a divorce... Not by my wishes but by hers..... If i can offer anything it would be to take it slow... date him again and see how things go..... Dont let on how much you wish things were the same.... they will never be the same they will have to be better..... both of you will have to try and want the same things........... 

Your in my thoughts and prayers........ best wishes and much happiness... with or wothout him...


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Your husband is back now because it benefits HIM. 
Tell me, does this benefit you at all? Think about it...this relationship bothers you doesnt it? There are some things you can't put your finger on right?

I suggest you start writing about it. I know my exwife like an open book now, and I've moved beyond that and I know myself almost as much...still working on that part. This is all due to me writing it down. Its hard to write when you dont have time, so try to make time. 

I'm going to bet your husband demands a lot of attention, and you give it to him in fear that he will hurt you some how...am I right? Do you do things in this relationship in hopes that he will love you more for it? Are you frustrated because it seems like it doesnt work? He continues to do the damage, even after you try harder. 

Is this your case? If not, I wont go on... if yes I will try to show you some paths.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Foreverhurt,

Tim is right. Write down or journal what you're going through, in your relationship with your husband. 

My wife and I have been separated for over a year and are heading for a divorce. Ever since I moved out I began to journal everything, that had to do with our relationship...the good and the bad. It will help put things in perspective and show you where the relationship went bad. Was it all him? was it all you? or was it both of you. 

I came to the conclusion, after all was said and done (and much counseling), that my wife and I were incompatible and bad for one another. We had a "toxic" relationship.

Do the journaling and it will help get you through.

Good luck.


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