# i cannot breathe



## sadsuzy (May 15, 2011)

I am having such a hard time with this separation. We been away from one another a little over a month and I haven't spoken to him all weekend. My stomach is in knots, I keep having hot flashes, I am always sleeping, but I'm woken up so easily. I never want to do anything. This is killing me. I feel like I cannot pick myself up. I'm devastated. I don't know what to do, so I keep posting. When I talk to friends or family, they don't understand. One minute I feel strong, the next I cannot breathe. I don't want to even get out of bed. Nothing makes me happy. When will this go away?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

It will get easier with time.
I know it seems impossible right now, but it does get easier. You just have to take things one day at a time. One minute at a time if you have to.
You must get out of bed and shower, get dressed, etc. Laying around will do nothing but make you feel even more depressed.
I know it hurts, trust me, I know. You will be ok.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Good Morning Suzy, DG has given you some good advice. You must go on, every day! Falling into depression or getting sick will only complicate the other issues you are dealing with right now. Get in some therapy right away and let nature take it's course. You will feel better minute by minute if you allow yourself to. Life ain't for the weak! We will be here for you, and we are experts cause we have been where you are, and still manage to get up and thank God for another beautiful day and mean it. Take Care.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

suzy I feel pretty much the same way. I got the bomb dropped on me Monday. Up until Sunday we were working through our separation and making plans to move to a new city as an actual married couple who live together.

I couldn't work. I had to take a bunch of time off last week. Today I can function at least. I do have to take it one minute at time like DeliquentGurl said. I barely slept last night and finally gave up at 5am. I had two dreams about my soon to be ex. It was like nothing bad happened and then I woke up.

Sorry to make this about me. Hopefully knowing you are not alone helps. I don't want anyone to be sad for any reason, but having others who are going through the same thing helps me. I don't feel alone in a world full of happy couples.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

You are most definitely not alone. It is so hard, I still have my moments but in general I try to be upbeat and positive. Sometimes it's just an act, but it helps.
Crying and moping around not only is unattractive but it makes you feel worse, correct?

I pray all day every day, just asking to get through the day. That's all I can do right now.
If you aren't in counseling, you should start. It will do wonders for your soul.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oceansaway (May 16, 2011)

It will get better...in time. You must keep yourself busy and your mind off it. I know thats hard and not possible some days. You need to be strong and show him your strength! Like Delinquentgurl said...its unattractive. You need to show him your strong with him or without him. We have all been where you are now and YOU will make it through.
One day at a time....AND it will get BETTER!


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

I almost talked myself into staying in bed this morning, good thing there are two dogs and three cats who won't let me.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Yes! Good for them!
Animals seem to sense when you are upset also.
The first few night H left, all 3 of my cats slept with me. Usually only 2 of them did. They wouldn't leave my side.
Animals are the best therapy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mik (Mar 5, 2012)

Hi, 

i am going through same... its been almost 2 months now and still i am not able to get to terms with what is reality and what is illusion. so far i have understood one thing and that is let them go... wait.. give it time. its never too later; but dont rush. 
u know the funny thing was my wife ( soon to be ex) was making plans with me for a vaccation and at the same time she was screwing this other person ... how can i get over it ?? solution... i am going on that vaccation Alone !!
buy some new clothers and trat yourself with spa treatment.. see this is as an opportunity to go around.. i know it sounds very sad and desperate but desperate time needs desperate efforts... till 2 weeks ago i was sucidal and toooo angry .. but now things are better , i cant say that i am over it or i dont care about her anymore... as a matter of fact i do .. i still love her .. but one thing i know that the person who left me was not the one i loved ... she changed into someone else with time and i dont know that person at all.....
good luck.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

you are definitely not alone - I go through periods of feeling free and excited about what's out there, then totally crumbling at the total destruction of the last 13 years of my life in little over two weeks. I did get up this morning and go shopping, my daughter's new bed has been delivered and I'm now going to have a bath. Went back to work last week but it was really tough - but it's getting a littlel better every day


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

sadsuzy said:


> I am having such a hard time with this separation. We been away from one another a little over a month and I haven't spoken to him all weekend. My stomach is in knots, I keep having hot flashes, I am always sleeping, but I'm woken up so easily. I never want to do anything. This is killing me. I feel like I cannot pick myself up. I'm devastated. I don't know what to do, so I keep posting. When I talk to friends or family, they don't understand. One minute I feel strong, the next I cannot breathe. I don't want to even get out of bed. Nothing makes me happy. When will this go away?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly what I am going through right now. I can't get enough sleep, can't find pleasure in anything I used to enjoy, and have been nearly suicidal at times, but I know this too shall pass. You can't expect friends or family to understand how you feel, especially single friends. And don't let them tell you biased opinions of how you could "do better" with someone else if you want to reconcile. It's going to hurt for a few weeks and take great strength not to be needy around your spouse, or call him all the time, but it's worth it in the end to give him space.


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