# Women and Violence



## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

I was reading this article at lunch and it was very sobering. I kicked a boyfriend in college when I found out he cheated on me, but I've never physically attacked a partner since. Has anyone here ever hit or physically attacked their male partner?
Hope Solo and the Surprising Truth About Women and Violence - TIME


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Without reading the article, women being violent is nothing new, nor does it surprise me. It is one of those things that is still largely socially acceptable...a man hits a woman, he's an abuser...a woman hits a man...he must have deserved it. My own personal experiences are that I know more men that are victims of physical violence than women. I have been a victim myself.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I've never hit a man that I was dating/in a relationship with.

I have had knock down drag out fights with boys and girls (We were in HS so maybe that doesn't count). My circle of friends didn't see gender, blah blah. SO yea. I have hit a male, but not MY male


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Hope Solo and the totally unsurprising roid rage that seemingly no one tests for.


----------



## DanaS (May 28, 2014)

that_girl said:


> I've never hit a man that I was dating/in a relationship with.
> 
> I have had knock down drag out fights with boys and girls (We were in HS so maybe that doesn't count). My circle of friends didn't see gender, blah blah. SO yea. I have hit a male, but not MY male


LOL why the fights? Are you an instigator? And how often would you win? Especially against the boys, any real damage to them or you?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

DanaS said:


> LOL why the fights? Are you an instigator? And how often would you win? Especially against the boys, any real damage to them or you?



Not an instigator. Had to cover a friend's mouth a lot lol.

Uh...I won some, lost some. I was small and scrappy and an angry teen so it was natural for me to fight.

I knocked that crap out in HS. It served me in no way.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Back in HS my best friend and frequent double date partner had a girlfriend who was a hitter. Trouble was I was the one who got hit. after a while I determined that it was just her way of flirting, which of course annoyed me even more.
MN


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> Back in HS my best friend and frequent double date partner had a girlfriend who was a hitter. Trouble was I was the one who got hit. after a while I determined that it was just her way of flirting, which of course annoyed me even more.
> MN


How was she hitting you?


----------



## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

The article gave some good stats about how violent women are, in circumstances outside of simple self defense, but it really didn't address the lack of resources for men. The town where we live is a college town, so it's a little progressive, but it's an Okie town, so if a man had to escape his partner, male or female, I wonder how he would get help.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Female gangs are very brutal.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

There are still many societal assumptions that reality just doesn't play out...women aren't violent, women don't cheat, women don't like casual sex...women and men aren't all that different, and a lot of the assumed truths are detrimental to men in today's society.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> There are still many societal assumptions that reality just doesn't play out...women aren't violent, women don't cheat, women don't like casual sex...women and men aren't all that different, and a lot of the assumed truths are detrimental to men in today's society.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And we have to act like we don't know.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You want to see Sharia go down in flames? Hand out a few million M-16's 2 clips each to the ladies over there. 30 days, tops, it's over and out.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

that_girl said:


> Female gangs are very brutal.


One of the most traumatic things I've ever witnessed was a girl fight when I was in 7th grade. These two 9th graders were beating up a 7th grader. They were just beating her on her back while she was trying to protect her head. It was brutal.

Years later I'm a member a FB group of people that live in my hometown. It's all fun and reminiscing. One of beaters joins the group, she is now 50 years old and STILL a bully. Hasn't changed one bit. They had to ban her from the group.

ETA: Oops, I didn't answer the question. No i've never hit a man.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

never


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Nope, I've never hit a man.

I do know of 3 women who were violent.

In two of the cases the guys let their physically abusive wives after a couple of years of marriage. In both of these cases, the husband was about 6'2". One is a black belt. Both of the wives were about 5'2". They left not because their wives were hurting them physically but because it created a very unhealthy situation and a situation that if they defended themselves they could hurt her and then end up in a lot of trouble.

In the 3rd case, she hit her husband over the head with a phone and accidently killed him. She claimed that they used to play fight all the time.. it was fun... well I guess until it wasn't. :scratchhead: But this one time it just went wrong.She went to prison for this.

That article says that about 30% of spousal/partner murders are women killing the guy. 

I know a lot more women who have been physically harmed by their spouse/partner and needed medical attention for it.

I read recently that the numbers of domestic violence against women cases have gone way down in the last two decades because of awareness and laws being changed. So this makes the cases of female on male violence really stand out now. Here where I live the domestic violence places are now very much aware that some men are victims of abusive women. A man can go to any of the organizations and get counseling and help. There are even safe houses for men who need protection.

I’ve done volunteer work both here and in Amarillo, Texas for domestic abuse/violence. I’ve actually seen a good number of men seek help. I’ve seen men put up in safe houses. I’ve seen men with their children put up in safe houses.

One of the two guys I mentioned above who eventually left their wife is someone I know locally. When he told me what was going on I drove him to a domestic violence organization for help. He got the help he needed.

If the domestic abuse/violence organizations where you live do not have help for men, work on them to add what is needed to help men. If you know a man who is abused, encourage him to get help. Let him know that what he’s going through is not something that he should be ashamed of and hide.

Women who are violent need to know that their behavior is not only not OK, it’s criminal.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I pushed my 6'2" 170 pound ex the day after he raped me when we were 'discussing' the 'reasons' he did what he did.
If I had pushed very hard I think I would have pushed myself backwards down the flight of stairs I was standing in front of. lol.

I also pushed another ex out of an elevator when I was trying to leave/escape after he kicked me hard enough to leave bruises for a few months. He was shoving me against the back of the elevator, in which was my/our 11 month old son who was put in an umbrella stroller but not strapped in and was getting pushed out and squished/battered by the stroller (and me). I shoved hard, and screamed bloody murder, he finally let off and I went down and strapped baby in and ran into the dark. Thank goodness I'd done a lot of hash runs with baby, had to clear a few hedges and fences. Went to a friend's place, got cash out of their company safe, went into hiding and left the country (embassy came and gave me travel funds and a good send off after collecting some things for me from my apartment.) Drunken idiot of an ex.

Younger kid's dad did not push him because he might have got hurt! He had me cornered in the bathroom raging and ranting at me, again I was holding a baby. I just called the cops and had him removed. He tried to come back next morning wayyyyy before 24 hours was up. I should have had him arrested but didn't, just packed and left.

Not sure how I picked these idiots but life sure is nice and peaceful/nonviolent without them. I can't stand violence. It's ridiculous.

I almost killed myself holding in anger after ex who raped me. But he might have killed me too...when was in hospital got tested for all kinds of toxicities, don't blame the VA for suspecting him. They were right, not with the toxicity but how he behaved with rock and ice climbing and driving, etc.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

HNU .....that is truly awful. I'm sorry that you experienced such things. I'm so glad you are here.


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I have studied this subject a great deal as part if my degree and out of interest. 

There seems to be a huge propensity to prove that women are just as violent and dangerous as men. A lot if MRA's write about it a lot and misconstrue the facts. 

I do think violence against men is unacceptable. I have seen a couple of women who have been abusive. One of the women I was friends with, used to belittle and once slapped her husband, in front if me, I intervened and do not see her any more. 

My ex is currently with at the very least an extremely emotionally abusive woman. I gave never seen her be violent, but I wouldn't be surprised. 

That said, I know so many women who have been with at least one abusive man. At least half the women I know. 

There are lots of interesting studies about intimate partner violence and why it happens. And I don't believe men are as at risk as women. 

Even in spousal deaths, when a male is called he is highly likely ( though no not always) to have been violent towards his partner in the lead up to the murder. 


This has some good info
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/jr000250.pdf

ETA HNU I'm very sorry that happened to you. Part of the problems we are seeing now- is women getting arrested for defending themselves and being charged, which is skewing the figures.


----------



## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

Little Deer, that looks like a very interesting publication, just skimming over it. I would like to see more from a lot of the topics in it, especially the cross-cultural data.


----------



## Marcus588 (May 4, 2014)

*LittleDeer* said:


> ETA HNU I'm very sorry that happened to you. Part of the problems we are seeing now- is women getting arrested for defending themselves and being charged, which is skewing the figures.


Huh? Examples? In the vast majority of cases it is MEN that get charged for defending themselves.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I have studied this subject a great deal as part if my degree and out of interest.
> 
> There seems to be a huge propensity to prove that women are just as violent and dangerous as men. A lot if MRA's write about it a lot and misconstrue the facts.
> 
> I do think violence against men is unacceptable. I have seen a couple of women who have been abusive. One of the women I was friends with, used to belittle and once slapped her husband, in front if me, I intervened and do not see her any more.


The messed up thing about violent women, is they are often SUPPORTED. So while you intervened, 90% of the population would have not done anything and written it off as a weak husband.



*LittleDeer* said:


> My ex is currently with at the very least an extremely emotionally abusive woman. I gave never seen her be violent, but I wouldn't be surprised.
> 
> That said, I know so many women who have been with at least one abusive man. At least half the women I know.
> 
> ...


The dangerous part about the violent women is once again, they are not seen as doing much harm, and are often supported or their violence minimized. Imagine if you were a violent person and knew that you could get away with it, even in front of a crowd of people?

That's the advantage they have.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

treyvion said:


> *The messed up thing about violent women, is they are often SUPPORTED. So while you intervened, 90% of the population would have not done anything and written it off as a weak husband.*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Back to what I said earlier...a man beats up a woman...abusive abuser...a woman does it...what did the man do to deserve it?

I think the important take away here is that men are not always the vicious brutes as has been assumed, and women certainly aren't delicate little angels...


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Marcus588 said:


> Huh? Examples? In the vast majority of cases it is MEN that get charged for defending themselves.


Well, yeah. I had dealt with a violent ex wife... Over time the police explained I cannot stop her from cheating on me and being violent, however I am allowed to restrain her, and they encouraged me to press charges if I am the recipient of female on male violence.

For years the police turned their eye to it, but I think they started taking it more seriously when they realized it could be them!

Still with a skilled manipulator, you may have the fear that you could press charges and she flips it around and says that you were the violent instigator.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Back to what I said earlier...a man beats up a woman...abusive abuser...a woman does it...what did the man do to deserve it?
> 
> I think the important take away here is that men are not always the vicious brutes as has been assumed, and women certainly aren't delicate little angels...


There have been corrosive and treacherous women even BEFORE jesus christ walks the earth and it's in the bible.

Guys, I want you to realize, its more than 1% or 10% of them that are this treacherous. The good thing is it is usually obvious in their actions.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Just as when people do it in threads about injustices towards women, I find the "But, but but..." hand waving in here incredibly minimizing...


----------



## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

treyvion said:


> There have been corrosive and treacherous women even BEFORE jesus christ walks the earth and it's in the bible.
> 
> Guys, I want you to realize, its more than 1% or 10% of them that are this treacherous. The good thing is it is usually obvious in their actions.


I would like to think I'm a pretty decent actor. Otherwise, how could I get my husband to pick up his laundry from all over the floor? Or get our kiddo to do her homework without making a huge ordeal about it. I just use my manipulative powers for good. Usually.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Boottothehead said:


> I would like to think I'm a pretty decent actor. Otherwise, how could I get my husband to pick up his laundry from all over the floor? Or get our kiddo to do her homework without making a huge ordeal about it. I just use my manipulative powers for good. Usually.


Yeah, but you are not Bathsheba or any of these other sinister people who happen to be women who have sent their husband into a trap sure to be murdered for example.


----------



## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Yeah, but you are not Bathsheba or any of these other sinister people who happen to be women who have sent their husband into a trap sure to be murdered for example.


I've been reading the Psychopath Whisperer. There are some REALLY sinister people out there. I feel guilty when I manipulate the husband into cooking so I don't have to, or taking the kiddo to some animated movie that I really can't stand the thought of. I think murder is beyond me. I wouldn't put it past his ex-wife though. Based on my highly unskilled reading of the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, she scored in the 20's, so she would be classified as a psychopath. And we know she's BPD.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think that if someone wants to be violent, they should expect violence.

Don't step up like some bada$$ if you don't want to get socked back.

I'm not talking about women protecting themselves...I'm talking about the women who literally beat their husbands. It's not right.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

that_girl said:


> I think that if someone wants to be violent, they should expect violence.
> 
> Don't step up like some bada$$ if you don't want to get socked back.
> 
> I'm not talking about women protecting themselves...I'm talking about the women who literally beat their husbands. It's not right.


The ones who do it, do it because they can get away with it. Usually it is done in secrecy. Another way it gets done is the group supporting her doesn't care, so they allow her to do it, no repurcussions.

Imagine that. It feels everyone knows and you can't do anyhting about it.

On TAM we know you can leave, some of these people locked into these relationships think that there is love and they don't want to tear their families apart.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I know the average man's punch can cause way more damage than the punch of the average female,however,I still feel if a woman is feeling froggy enough to punch a man she should be expected at least a slap back. 

For the sake of equality and all. I don't think he should be arrested or anything for retaliating. 

Of course I'm also one who thinks it's counterproductive to teach your children not to hit people but turn around and hit the children for doing something wrong.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I know the average man's punch can cause way more damage than the punch of the average female,however,I still feel if a woman is feeling froggy enough to punch a man she should be expected at least a slap back.
> 
> For the sake of equality and all. I don't think he should be arrested or anything for retaliating.
> 
> Of course I'm also one who thinks it's counterproductive to teach your children not to hit people but turn around and hit the children for doing something wrong.


True about avg vs avg.

My ex who at 145 lbs is not huge, did know how to punch "under power", so it's not this sissy girl punch. 

She could black an eye with a purple shiner, multiple hits would cause a tear, could break a nose or knock a tooth out.

She probably wouldn't break a jaw or eyesocket, but she was rowdy enough to pick up a clothing iron or similar and hit you in the head with it and that could do that job.

When they will hit you, they will stab you, they will do all kinds of things, so the size differential really isn't that big of a deal anymore.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Trey,
in response to your question. She used fists. I was a wrestler at the time and was able to adsorb quite a bit of punishment as she never went for my head. I don't recall any bruising. I think that the fact that I decided it was her way of flirting indicates how serious the risk wasn't. I think the idea that she thought this was an appropriate way to get my attention speaks to her unsuitability as a partner for my friend. The whole situation left me in a difficult position. I resented her manipulation more that her fists.
MN


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

The facts are that men are equally as prone to be victims of domestic violence as women.

That cannot be argued because overwhelming evidence exist.

Women in lesbian relationships are twice as much likely to become a domestic violence victim as women in heterosexual relationships.

The problem is that men in society have been cultured from a very young age to accept women's violence as " normal " or acceptable.

The root cause of domestic violence doesn't differ between the sexes , it is the same , hence the reason for the statistics being roughly equal.

I know at least three men who were victims of serious domestic violence , but they accepted it for different reasons.

One told me his woman was abused as a child so he " understood " why she sometimes acted that way.

One was a recovering drug addict with very low self esteem. He blamed himself for her violence whenever she got drunk. That was the worse example of a codependent relationship I'd ever seen.

One was afraid of his wife because of her aggressiveness.

But in all three cases , there were no kids involved. I couldn't understand why they didn't leave. I think the reasons might be similar to women in the same situation,
They had very low self esteem.

I've never been in a relationship where a woman hit me in anger , but I've been hit by women before , and never responded because I just thought of it as normal .
I too was taught that a man should never hit a woman , I still hold that belief.
But it would have been good if parents taught their boys that a man should never hit a woman , but ,he should never accept violence as 
" normal behavior " from a woman .

The reality is that men are cultured to accept violence from women and there aren't much available resources , counseling or otherwise out there to help men who are victims.

And then there is the huge shame factor...


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> The facts are that men are equally as prone to be victims of domestic violence as women.
> 
> That cannot be argued because overwhelming evidence exist.
> 
> ...


Imagine how you would fare if your current wife, your love turned to be one of the most violent perpetrators against you.

Using your raising and conditioning to take advantage of you. You would take those hits and insults and never hit her back or disturb her...

I will say this. No matter the sex, you have a right to defend yourself if attacked.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Spousal abuse is difficult for me to my thoughts wrapped around. I imagine if I cheated and my wife was whaling on me for it then I'd restrain her but maybe feel like I brought it on myself. Anything less extreme than that though doesn't compute at all. It's confusing to me that it's possible for a partner to get abused more than twice by the same partner. First time I get. Second time is possible because of believing promises. Past that though, there's some weird psychology going on for someone to still be there.


----------



## Marcus588 (May 4, 2014)

I recommend everyone watch this video, it's quite telling:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRCS6GGhIRc


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

In HS, a friend always had bruises. He claimed he fell while skateboarding. Fair enough. We all had bruises from that, but his were in weird places. At a party, he and his gf got into a fight and they were yelling and she gave him a black eye. He did nothing back to her. I watched him crumble to the ground as she stood over him kicking him. I had never seen anything like it in all my life. I had seen my dad be violent to my step mom, but never a female turned on a male. It came out that she always abused him like that and it took getting his parents involved to make it stop. We were 17. He's now married to one of our good friends  No more abuse.

but regarding my dad, my sisters (age 4 at the time) watched our dad beat their mom senseless with a fireplace poker. Broken 3 ribs, collar bone, fractured cheek bone and other injuries. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks. He was in jail for about 5 months (early 1980s).

I don't know if I could do that much damage to someone with a poker....my dad said he beat her because she came home late from being out with her sister. The eff. 

I have only felt violent in my marriage once. With good reason. I wouldn't see him for almost 2 months because of it. I know, that I would have gone off the deep end and ripped his face off. It's a weird feeling to have, that adrenaline...but I was wise enough to stay away from him until it passed.

I watched my mom throw shet at my stepdad during a fight. A wine glass went over my head and beamed him in his  

My female friend was in a marriage with a woman. She was beaten every day  This lasted 3 years. Her wife was the "perfect woman" before marriage and then BAM....first slap was on honeymoon.

The final straw for my friend was when her wife choked her out on the bathroom floor because she "gave lip" to something her wife said. She went to work with bruises on her neck.

They divorced 3 years ago and my friend is amazing. Her ex-wife is now remarried-- to a man. My friend hasn't seen her since she left her standing there screaming about no one will love her and blah blah.

Women can be violent. We're taught to control ourselves, but yea...it's in us. Little girls have no problem giving someone a wallup to get back a toy.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Good Video Marcus,
When I think back on the times women have hit me I have trouble taking them to seriously myself. I'm sitting here thinking I'm like the policeman. If I hit a Woman I really lost control, but if I get hit it's either my fault or I should be able to handle it. 
Cases, Because I think they are more interesting and in this case helps to understand the apparent double standard.
My wife hit me 2 times while we were engaged. The first time left a mark. You are probably thinking why did I marry her. Well I didn't know her that well at the time. She had told me not to tickle her feet, but I did it anyway. Well she hit me hard enough to mark me. I chalked it up to testing boundaries. Hitting is not in her nature. The second time I wanted her to prove to me that I was worth fighting for. She finally worked up enough energy to bump my shoulder. 
My oldest daughter was severely beaten by a neighborhood boy with a metal piece of playground equipment. Bruises all over her back and some blood. I sent her to a friend of mine who teaches karate. Several years later. . . I surprised her in a store by sneaking up behind her and touching her. She about knocked me off my feet. She was so embarrassed. I was happy. I stopped worrying about her taking care of herself. 
Those are my examples of women I was close to.
MN


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Does trying to run me over with a car count?


----------



## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

In the midst of a break-up, I went to her house to get some stuff back. She came to the door and threw a textbook at me. She turned to walk away, and I grabbed her wrist. I didn't yank or try to pull her by it, I just didn't want her to walk away, but it must have made her feel threatened. I never laid a violent hand on her. With my one hand holding the book, the other her wrist, I was wide-open, and she hauled off with her free hand and open-handed me straight upside the temple. She looked as surprised she did it as I was. I was hearing a dull ring for a few minutes....


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> In HS, a friend always had bruises. He claimed he fell while skateboarding. Fair enough. We all had bruises from that, but his were in weird places. At a party, he and his gf got into a fight and they were yelling and she gave him a black eye. He did nothing back to her. I watched him crumble to the ground as she stood over him kicking him. I had never seen anything like it in all my life. I had seen my dad be violent to my step mom, but never a female turned on a male. It came out that she always abused him like that and it took getting his parents involved to make it stop. We were 17. He's now married to one of our good friends  No more abuse.
> 
> but regarding my dad, my sisters (age 4 at the time) watched our dad beat their mom senseless with a fireplace poker. Broken 3 ribs, collar bone, fractured cheek bone and other injuries. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks. He was in jail for about 5 months (early 1980s).
> 
> ...


So true. When I think of my childhood and watching my own kids, I don't see any difference between little boys and little girls. Now do I think women are as violent as men, no. When puberty hits, male aggressiveness increases. But so does awareness and perspective. Some women never gain that from their childhood.

If you want the classic view of society in regards to men vs women, just look back to the old.

Sugar and spice and everything nice..
versus
snips and snails and puppy dog tails.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

> The facts are that men are equally as prone to be victims of domestic violence as women.
> 
> That cannot be argued because overwhelming evidence exist.


Don't trouble yourself to provide the evidence. Because that would lend weight and credence to a truly, TRULY, ridiculous assertion. In fact, it is so ridiculous I shall go and put it in my things that irritate you thread.

Because you are very irritating.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Mrs.CuddleBug has an instinctive reaction to when she gets angry and with me.......hit and punch and this is all the way from our dating days. I never hit and punch her but she does to me and she isn't a weakling either. I have on occasion gave her back what she did to me and then she stepped back a bit, realized that hitting and punching isn't fun when its returned and she does stop for quite the while. Men and violence.....


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

This thread is not about whether or not men are abused. CDC'c 2010 study is a good example. see this article: MenWeb: CDC/DOJ Survey-Men more often victims of intimate partner violence. Research on Battered Men
What this thread is about is is Violent women. This article interprets the data differently. http://www.ncadv.org/files/MaleVictims.pdf
After my reading today I am thoroughly convinced of one thing. If as a man you are physically injured by a female intimate partner, don't call the police. Your odds of getting help are less than 50/50.
MN


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> This thread is not about whether or not men are abused. CDC'c 2010 study is a good example. see this article: MenWeb: CDC/DOJ Survey-Men more often victims of intimate partner violence. Research on Battered Men
> What this thread is about is is Violent women. This article interprets the data differently. http://www.ncadv.org/files/MaleVictims.pdf
> After my reading today I am thoroughly convinced of one thing. If as a man you are physically injured by a female intimate partner, don't call the police. Your odds of getting help are less than 50/50.
> MN


I'm sure the police don't mean it like this, but they are almost ENCOURAGING women to do dispicable and violent acts against men.

My thing after going through the situation was to open the police call NOT for a 100% chance of having her jailed. But the point is to get it on the record and in the system of the incident having occured. This way if something bigger happens later on it can be tracked.

Don't ask society for any help either.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

treyvion said:


> I'm sure the police don't mean it like this, but they are almost ENCOURAGING women to do dispicable and violent acts against men.
> 
> My thing after going through the situation was to open the police call NOT for a 100% chance of having her jailed. But the point is to get it on the record and in the system of the incident having occured. This way if something bigger happens later on it can be tracked.
> 
> Don't ask society for any help either.



The way I see it, I will never purposely hit a woman and I haven't. But if a woman hits me and its hard and bad, I will defend myself and she will get it right back, that's self defense. I won't be calling the police, this woman hit me and arrest her......to me, I wouldn't feel like a man at that point and I'd be embarrassed. Just me though.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> The way I see it, I will never purposely hit a woman and I haven't. But if a woman hits me and its hard and bad, I will defend myself and she will get it right back, that's self defense. I won't be calling the police, this woman hit me and arrest her......to me, I wouldn't feel like a man at that point and I'd be embarrassed. Just me though.


thing about it is if she is bold enough to hit you, who says she's not bold enough to hit you and say you hit her first.

So they can strum up a bunch of momentum outside through gossip. So if you dont' run it through the system you can get a whole world of hurt coming your way for something you didn't do.


----------



## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> This thread is not about whether or not men are abused. CDC'c 2010 study is a good example. see this article: MenWeb: CDC/DOJ Survey-Men more often victims of intimate partner violence. Research on Battered Men
> What this thread is about is is Violent women. This article interprets the data differently. http://www.ncadv.org/files/MaleVictims.pdf
> After my reading today I am thoroughly convinced of one thing. If as a man you are physically injured by a female intimate partner, don't call the police. Your odds of getting help are less than 50/50.
> MN


That's probably due to lack of evidence. When a man hits a woman, there will usually be bruises, bleeding.

But not necessarily when a woman hits a man. If there is evidence of abuse by a woman, the police WILL arrest her if the man wants to press charges. If its a simple slap, even though its still considered battery and jail time is warranted, the red face may not be so obvious when the police arrive.


----------

