# this was said to me



## lostandbroken (Oct 25, 2010)

When I asked my spouse if they were cheating, the response was," If i was would that make you leave?'
Probablly asking the obvious but was that my confirmation that cheating was going on? 
Just curious what goes thru a cs mind when they are caught or accused.


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## valaria (Oct 18, 2010)

No I don't think that means they cheated, it may mean they want to know what would make you leave the relationship and you should have already addressed those boundaries.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I wouldn't take it to mean they cheated. It sounds to me like either they aren't sure what you're reaction would be or that they want to know if doing that would end things because they'll then do that...meaning they're looking for a way out and if you say you'd leave over cheating, they'll cheat. 

Sounds like you need to have another conversation.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Nope - don't think your spouses communication was clear enough to confirm anything. Sounds deflective or inquisitive depending on the tone: either your spouse was curious how serious you are about cheating or he/she was annoyed at your question.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ldbg102 (Oct 15, 2010)

It sounds like they are testing you and your commitment. It sounds like something I would say if I was being defensive and I've never cheated on my spouse. Just being honest.


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

lostandbroken said:


> When I asked my spouse if they were cheating, the response was," If i was would that make you leave?'
> Probablly asking the obvious but was that my confirmation that cheating was going on?
> Just curious what goes thru a cs mind when they are caught or accused.


I agree with most of the other posters, this is in no way confirmation that your spouse is cheating. Be careful.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I quess it depends on what CS sees as cheating, I think.

Well I believe answering a question with a question is, at best deceitful.

What was your response?
I hope after thinking about it, you will ask the question again. Try rewording it, like, "are you being faithful" ;-)


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## iamnottheonlyone (May 9, 2010)

There seems to be a lot of things going on here. The most important thing to you is that there is a problem with your relationship. Your spouse may have committed to getting out of the relationship and is exploring different avenues. If your spouse is in the process of checking out you have some work to do. They may have checked out already. Are you w3illing to work on repairing what's broken? Where are the problems? Can you give us an idea about why you are asking the question?


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