# need help to get back together with my wife



## dave77g (Sep 6, 2010)

whats the best thing to do t o get my wife back, she says shes still in love with me, and her feelings are to strong to just be friends, she broke up with me, she wont even contact me i told her i want things to work out with us. do you think these are mixed signals. or is it me just hoping they are. i dont want to give up on her i am giving her space for 2weeks . been apart 5weeks 

ANY ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO WOULD BE APPRECIATED


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## dave77g (Sep 6, 2010)

does anyone even bother replying to these


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It's hard to answer your questions without more details. I agree that what you've written sounds like she's giving mixed signals, but without knowing why she left you, it's hard to say. And it's impossible to say whether there's anything you could try to get her back without knowing why she left. 

Also, you need to be patient. Sometimes the forums are a little slow and you won't get responses right away.


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## HM3 (Aug 18, 2010)

She's probably feeling all different emotions at the moment, hence why she doesn't know whether she's coming or going. Leaving your wife/husband is the hardest thing to do, and the separation period is an emotional rollercoaster.

I don't know what happened between the two of you, it might be worth meeting up and talking things through of where you both are and where you want to go.


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## dave77g (Sep 6, 2010)

more info
i need to get this all worked out. wife left me 6months ago and went to live at her parents, we stayed in touch because we share a mortgage, we decided we would sell the house after 2 weeks apart, after 2 months she decided she was going to rent a flat with a gay friend who works for her, i gave her our bed and one of our sofas to help her out i thought it was time for me to move on, after a month in her new place she decided she wanted to try again but take things slowly so we did it was great, she had signed a 6month lease on her flat so she was staying there a couple of days a week, 10weeks of being back together i had a feeling some thing wasnt right so i looked through her phone there was a message from another man so i confronted her she was honest i think, and said she had dated him while we were separated, i said we cant go on no more which she begged and pleaded me saying she had wanted to tell me and she knows now its me she wants and its me, she would do anything to prove it she would move back in straight away so i forgave her.the next day she went to work i spoke to her and she said she wasnt coming back because she cant trust me not to look through her phone and she doesnt think i will ever trust her again.when we broke up she wanted to stay friends, which we did it hurt but i got on with it, it was ok then i texted her 1 week later to see how she was, she texted back and said she had to walk to her work to get her charger (only a 15 minute walk), so i phoned her and offered her a lift she became very nasty towards me so i told her being friends is obviouslynot going to work, to which she said could we sleep on it i declined and said it would be better if i let go and ended the conversation, half hour later she texts me and says can i ring you tomorrow about how shes going to manage money wise and about picking the rest of her stuff up , i ignored it then 20 minutes later she rings then went silent on me so i asked what she wanted she didnt know, so i told her i agree with splitting up and was trying to move on she started to cry so i hung up.the next day i felt really bad how i talked to her so i rang and apologised and said it was late and i was tired told her she get her stuff anytime she liked i asked if there was any way back to being together even suggested counciling then she got nasty and said she did not need counciling and she doesnt want to feel like this again and hung up on me, i sent her a text saying we can work this out if we really wanted to and i would leave her alone now because staying in touch was making things worse, she replied it is making things worse she thought we could stay friends but her feelings are to strong for me, i sent 1 back saying i knew our feelings for each other were to strong for each other that we should try and work this out , she replied that she thinks i will never ever trust her again, so i said i could but it wouldn?t be easy then i didnt her from for a couple of days until my birthday, she messages me saying happy birthday and what am i doing so i rang her she said she wanted to take me for lunch i said i didnt know whether we should, she asked how i was so i told her im ok ive been better though she hung up on me so i called back asked her why she hung up she was upset because i wouldn?t go for lunch with her so i sad i would. she picked me up later that day but it was hard on us both we came back to mine and we chatted and cried with each other ,she took about a third of her stuff and said she would come another time for the rest, an hour after she ileft she rang to see how i was i told her i was ok and asked about what we were going to do about our house we have a mortgage on together she told me to give her 5grand and she would sign it over to me so i agreed told her to make a appointment at the bank so we could sort it, later that night i texted to see how she was and she said she was ok but hated us both being sad, the next morning i texted her again to make sure shes ok,she replied that she had been up most of the night crying about us and she had been thinking we have been through to much to not be friends, so i rang her she was upset we chated for a while at the end of the conversation i said i love you which she repeated, havent heard from her in 2 weeks so its our wedding anniversary next week so i texted her asking if she would like to do somthing for it , she replied iam not being funny but its not fair on both our emotions but she would be thinking of me, so the day after i sent her a text saying when you feel strong enough to talk we need to sort out what was happening with the house its been 4 days now and no reply her stuffs still at our house, i would love to get back with her does anyone hear have any advice on whats going through her head or is it just me that thinks shes stalling for time ,any advice would be appreciated been together 11years married 3 years


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It sounds to me like neither of you knows what you want. You both seem to want to get back together until the other says they want that, too, and then you change your mind. I think instead of constantly texting and calling each other and all this, you should take a break from each other for a couple of weeks and not communicate at all. Maybe that will help you figure out how you feel about each other and if you really want to be together or if you're just holding on out of habit.


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## dave77g (Sep 6, 2010)

i know i really do want to get back together with her just want to know how best to approach it dont want to push her away


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

I think I can guess what is in her head from her conversation & texting. They're not very positve signs but I think you still have chance because she hasn't decided yet.

Allow me to point out.
I think you have a problem - You don't know how to communicate with women (from how you texted her and how you replied, you were making things worse.)

What you can do to beef up your conversation skills? You want to search infomation about "what women want" and "how to talk to a woman" on the internet, so you know how to beef up your talking skills.

Besides that, I'd like to suggest you a direction - court her and make her fall in love with you again. 

So here are things you can do:

Be fun and listening
When she talks, ALWAYS agree with her with positive response.
Look good (dressed up) and date her
Bring her to a movie or a romantic place.
Give her a gift as a surprise
- could be one box of chocolate she likes. 
- a bundle of flowers
- a stuff animal

She is your wife, you should know what she likes and how to make her happy.

Your Target - make her feel she's desired and she is beautiful and deeply loved.

Your conversation topics- always find fun and relaxing topics, be prepared! 

When your conversation tenses up, you want to change a happier a topic immediately, for example, shopping, movies... 

Avoid talk about relationship issues- don't make her feel nervous.

Tip: If you don't know what to say, just listen and agree with her!



Hope it helps! Good luck to you!


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