# Next time you think you deserve something...



## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

A young man went to seek an important position at a large printing company. He passed the initial interview and was going to meet the director for the final interview. The director saw his resume, it was excellent. And asked, '
- Have you received a scholarship for school?' The boy replied, " No '.
-' It was your father who paid for your studies? '
-' Yes.'- He replied.
-' Where does your father work? '
-' My father is a Blacksmith'
The Director asked the young to show him his hands.
The young man showed a pair of hands soft and perfect.
-' Have you ever helped your parents at their job? '
-' Never, my parents always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, he can do the job better than me.
The director said:
-' I have got a request: When you go home today, go and wash the hands of your father and then come see me tomorrow morning.'

The young felt his chance to get the job was high.
When he returned to his house he asked his father if he would allow him to wash their hands.
His father felt strange, happy, but with mixed feelings and showed their hands to his son. The young washed his hands, little by little. It was the first time that he noticed his father's hands were wrinkled and they had so many scars. Some bruises were so painful that his skin shuddered when he touched them.
This was the first time that the young man recognized what it meant for this pair of hands to work every day to be able to pay for his study. The bruises on the hands were the price that he payed for their education, his school activities and his future.
After cleaning his father's hands the young man stood in silence and began to tidy and clean up the workshop. That night, father and son talked for a long time.

The next morning, the young man went to the office of the director.
The Director noticed the tears in the eyes of the young when He asked him: -' Can you tell me what you did and what you learned yesterday at your house?'
The boy replied: -' I washed my father's hands and when I finished I stayed and cleaned his workshop '
-' Now I know what it is to appreciate and recognize that without my parents , I would not be who I am today . By helping my father I now realize how difficult and hard it is to do something on my own. I have come to appreciate the importance and the value in helping the family.

The director said, "This is what I look for in my people. I want to hire someone who can appreciate the help of others , a person who knows the hardship of others to do things, and a person who does not put money as his only goal in life". ' You are hired '.

A child that has been coddled, Protected and usually given him what he wants, develops a mentality of " I have the right ' and will always put himself first, ignoring the efforts of their parents. If we are this type of protective parent are we really showing love or are we destroying our children?
You can give your child a big house , good food , computer classes , watch on a big screen TV . But when you're washing the floor or painting a wall , please let him experience that too. 
After eating have them wash the dishes with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you have no money to hire someone to do this it's because you want to love them the right way . No matter how rich you are, you want them to understand. One day your hair will have gray hair, like the father of this young man.
The most important thing is that your child learns to appreciate the effort and to experience the difficulties and learn the ability to work with others to get things done


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Great story. This goes for some spouses as well. There are many entitled spouses who are without empathy to their hardworking counterparts. Many of these "entitled" individuals feel that they can do whatever they wish, including cheating. They should be made to make a living to appreciate their situation in life.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bfree said:


> A young man went to seek an important position at a large printing company. He passed the initial interview and was going to meet the director for the final interview. The director saw his resume, it was excellent. And asked, '
> - Have you received a scholarship for school?' The boy replied, " No '.
> -' It was your father who paid for your studies? '
> -' Yes.'- He replied.
> ...


*bfree: If only my rich, skanky XW could see this story and relate it to those three convicts of hers, instead of her placating their every illicit and frivilous desire with a seemingly endless stream of money; that will, no doubt continue, even after she meets her Maker!

I seek your permission to use this story as one of my impending devotionals for FCA(Fellowship of Christian Athletes) as well as UMM(United Methodist Men).Let me just say that this is a most remarkable and touching story! God Bless!*


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *bfree: If only my rich, skanky XW could see this story and relate it to those three convicts of hers, instead of her placating their every illicit and frivelous desire with a seemingly endless stream of money; that will, no doubt continue, even after she meets her Maker!
> 
> I seek your permission to use this story as one of my impending devotionals for FCA(Fellowship of Christian Athletes) as well as UMM(United Methodist Men).Let me just say that this is a most remarkable and touching story! God Bless!*


Share away. God bless arbitrator.


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Lovely touching story. 

The question becomes, "in parenting where it the point of balance?". If I have been fortunate enough to have enough wealth so that my child can have many nice things how do I then balance my parenting so that my child would develop a sense of appreciation and a kindness towards others?

When I do not have natural hardships is it wise to inflict artificial hardships on my child? Something feels wrong about that ... but I also know that overindulging children is not wise.

I think we need a secret option number three. An involved parent that respects and strives to guide, teach and deeply understand his or her children.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> A child that has been coddled, Protected and usually given him what he wants, develops a mentality of " I have the right ' and will always put himself first, ignoring the efforts of their parents. If we are this type of protective parent are we really showing love or are we destroying our children?
> You can give your child a big house , good food , computer classes , watch on a big screen TV . But when you're washing the floor or painting a wall , please let him experience that too.
> After eating have them wash the dishes with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you have no money to hire someone to do this it's because you want to love them the right way . No matter how rich you are, you want them to understand. One day your hair will have gray hair, like the father of this young man.
> The most important thing is that your child learns to appreciate the effort and to experience the difficulties and learn the ability to work with others to get things done.


Reading that freaking made me cry.. So touching....









My H fell down the other day on the ice on top of his lunch box leaving for work, I didn't know it but he was laying there 5 minutes .. he hurt his ribs.... still went to work & all.. but we've been doing all we can so he doesn't have to do anything, but take it easy after work...

We haven't been able to get in & out of our driveway for over a week due to snow/ice..

The other day I was working, and he wanted to clean our Driveway, it's very long, steep, hilly... I told him to MAKE SURE HE MAKES THE SONS get their butts out there..I told him to promise me, darn it, I didn't want him out there alone !!..... but I know my H, he doesn't like to bother anyone, even his own kids.. so he goes home, mentions it and only 1 of the 3 boys went out to help him...

When I got home I had a talking to those other 2.. I wasn't none too happy with them, generally they know better & are pretty helpful but they choose laziness this time..and beings their dad was hurting and all, that was NOT in any way acceptable, it was downright deplorable..... They took it as such..and understood I had a right to be mad. 

I guess he needs ME to crack the whip... but your story is so true, I think I'll print it out and give to my sons..

I was sure to show how much I appreciated the one who worked hard with his dad that night, shoveling for hours... things like that just shows a lot about one's character....and it does build character. 

We've never spoiled them with material things.. in this.. I think they have a good handle but obviously the other needs worked on some.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

RDL said:


> Lovely touching story.
> 
> The question becomes, "in parenting where it the point of balance?". If I have been fortunate enough to have enough wealth so that my child can have many nice things how do I then balance my parenting so that my child would develop a sense of appreciation and a kindness towards others?
> 
> ...


My friend's parents had plenty of money. So much so that when he got his license they could afford to buy him two cars. They bought him one new car and one old car. The jalopy barely ran and needed a lot of work. He got to drive the new car to school/work but if he wanted to take the new car out to social events or other fun things he had to work on the old car for the same amount of hours as he'd be out "playing." So he worked on the old car as much as he could so his social time wouldn't be restricted. By the end of the year he had pretty much taken apart and rebuilt that old car so it ran perfectly and looked amazing. My friend's father got in touch with a church group and found a needy family to give that car to. The family that was chosen had lost their father a couple of years past and the oldest son was working two jobs to help them survive. They were so appreciative and accepted the keys with tears in their eyes. My friend learned many valuable lessons that year. He learned to fix cars himself. He learned that everything in life has a cost. He learned to appreciate what he had. And perhaps most of all he learned first hand that helping others is the greatest feeling in the world.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

RDL said:


> Lovely touching story.
> 
> The question becomes, "in parenting where it the point of balance?". If I have been fortunate enough to have enough wealth so that my child can have many nice things how do I then balance my parenting so that my child would develop a sense of appreciation and a kindness towards others?
> 
> ...


Inflict artificial hardships?

Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to be a happy, healthy, fulfilled adult who is neither beneath nor above other people. To do that, the child must learn what it takes to become that person. By giving your child 'hardships' like house chores, you are ensuring that that child understands what it takes to make it in the world. You're ensuring that that child won't be 'that person' who walks on the backs of others because he understands. 

I gave my DD24 chores starting when she was about 10. Simple things at first, like cleaning up toys, making her bed, putting her dishes in the dishwasher. Every year, I added a chore or two, of increasing complexity. By the time she was 18, she knew how to do all housecleaning chores, change the oil, mow the lawn, go to the bank, take dry cleaning in...

Kind of backfired on her when she went to college because of all the roommates she had over the 4 years, she was the only one who could keep the dorm/apartment functioning, lol.

As a coveted only child, she had the potential to become one of those people who walked on others' backs. But I kept her grounded by showing her that she WILL have to take care of things, respect her money, and treat people with respect to get what she wants. Hardships? Nope, just the necessary tools to raise a good adult.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> When I got home I had a talking to those other 2.. I wasn't none too happy with them, generally they know better & are pretty helpful but they choose laziness this time..and beings their dad was hurting and all, that was NOT in any way acceptable, it was downright deplorable..... They took it as such..and understood I had a right to be mad.


Yep, I've had my shares of talks like that, too. And that's another way they learn.


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