# short temper



## pegasus (Oct 29, 2012)

My husband is short tempered - today we came home after buying mcdonalds - I put it on a tray - he picked it up but the fries fell over - he got so a gry he threw the tray down and his burger fell on the floor. I'm not good with things like this and leave the kitchen - he felt that I could have sympathized with him - I did not like his temper and feel that I should not have to put up with it. He feels my behaviour was not right. Comment please....we are missing each other in situations like these.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My first thought is that your husband has anger management issues... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

My first thought is you're married to a child. You're supposed to display sympathy because his fries fell over or because he (essentially) threw his burger on the floor? 

Not sure what to recommend - a highchair or pullups.


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

Lol, you could be married to my hubby. I've brow beaten him for many years about this same issue. Ask him if his level of anger was appropriate for the situation, maybe that will open up a discussion about how he can more effectively express his anger.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

when one acts like a child treat then like one.

when my child acted that way.I ignored him and when he calmed down he got to clean it up and a talking to. like thats really not acceptable behavior.

and when that didn't work a crack on the a$$ and some time in his room did the trick!

if it results in you cracking his a$$ then you got to decide if you want to live with someone who has an anger problem.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

he's got a major anger problem if he's blowing up over spilled fries. and he's pissed at you because you should be more sympathetic? how pathetic. what a baby. this is only acceptable behavior from a baby who would cry over spilled fries. The big difference is, the anger that he showed by throwing down his tray is unacceptable for any age. If I had a 3 year old he did that, he would be punished.

He should be on thin ice with you. I would be very nervous about this. Do not have kids with him yet. Anger management is a big issue and if he can't deal with the small stuff, like this - watch out. There are many many posts here of spouses throwing things, punching walls, and the other spouse is very scared and wonders if this is even abuse.

His temper scares you so I wouldn't be surprised if he gets set off by other small things, so you find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid his anger. This time he caused the fries to spill. The next time, you will do something - like god forbid, you would have been the one to spill his fries, then you'll be the target of his anger.

Red flags here. You should let him know that you are so worried about the way he handles his anger, that he needs to get help because it's a big deal to you and you are worried for both of you.

If he refuses, see how it goes for a limited time frame - 6 months - and he demonstrates this kind of lack of control again, or several times, you need to consider walking away from this ticking time bomb.


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## firefly789 (Apr 9, 2013)

Did you go and get him his pacifier? I'm not sure how you sympathize with someone over their fries falling over.

How long have you been married? He could be one of two types of angry men. 

He could be the type who realizes he is acting childish and this has been a habit since he was young. He uses anger to get his way and it always worked with mommy. He can change with some acknowledgement and effort.

Or, he is a manipulative and controlling man. The anger to get his way is just the beginning. You are expected to fix everything for him. He will then have more problems that need fixing and your whole attention will always be on him and keeping him happy. You will go to great lengths to keep the anger at bay. He will eat it up and is never, ever going to change because it is who he is.

Always walk away and make him deal with his own fallout. Never cover for him or hide it with others. You need to find out if he is capable/wants to change his behavior or not.


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## pegasus (Oct 29, 2012)

tx everyone - needed to check if I was not the crazy one. He even checked in with his friend to justify his behaviour (to show me he was not wrong) but his friend will not tell him to his face. He is manipulative, justifies everything and say he can admid if he is wrong but I say if you always see that you are right... well he also sees himself as a very fair person. I see him as someone who always puts his needs first. We have been married for 25 years - that does not mean anything to me really because he cheated on me last year. He must have a split personality because he can be very nice. 25 years is a long time....and for me to start over...big leap.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

It might be a big leap, but one that could help you have some peace and not deal with cheating or disrespectful/childish behavior.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

You teach people how to treat you. I'm sure he didn't throw those baby tantrums with the person he was cheating with.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Your husband sounds mean when I get mad I usually lock myself in another room and play poker online for an hour to calm down.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

pegasus said:


> tx everyone - needed to check if I was not the crazy one. He even checked in with his friend to justify his behaviour (to show me he was not wrong) but his friend will not tell him to his face. He is manipulative, justifies everything and say he can admid if he is wrong but I say if you always see that you are right... well he also sees himself as a very fair person. I see him as someone who always puts his needs first. We have been married for 25 years - that does not mean anything to me really because he cheated on me last year. He must have a split personality because he can be very nice. 25 years is a long time....and for me to start over...big leap.


is he still cheating? how did you resolve that? 

he cheated and is a cry baby too boot. time to put your big girl pants on and make a decision


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

pegasus said:


> tx everyone - needed to check if I was not the crazy one. He even checked in with his friend to justify his behaviour (to show me he was not wrong) but his friend will not tell him to his face. He is manipulative, justifies everything and say he can admid if he is wrong but I say if you always see that you are right... well he also sees himself as a very fair person. I see him as someone who always puts his needs first. We have been married for 25 years - that does not mean anything to me really because he cheated on me last year. He must have a split personality because he can be very nice. *25 years is a long time....and for me to start over...big leap*.


True. I was married to the same sort of man for 28 years. He cheated as well. I am currently happily divorced and feeling liberated. 

Think about this. Is this a man you want to rely on after he retires? Is this a man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Seriously. Think about it. When there is a crisis in your family, does he take a leadership role and take the burden away from you, or does he become another burden? Is your marriage "all about *him*"?

It's never too late to start over. Actually, it isn't so much about "starting over" as it is about changing your course. In my situation, his cheating was the last straw. It was bad enough that I had put up with his crap for 28 years, but then he had the audacity to seek comfort from other women. Share his thoughts and "charms" on someone other than his wife? Oh he11 no.

So don't be afraid. Starting over is simply a new adventure in life, and well worth the effort to get your freedom and self esteem back. You are worth it. Trust yourself.


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