# Great moments in dumbassery...



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

One of those LOL moments at myself, and it happened tonight. 

Wife and I are laying in bed watching some taped shows (Dr. Phil...). She's cuddled up next to me and I have my arm around her. About 10 minutes of cuddling, she takes her glasses off and just pounces on top of me and says "take your glasses off!". My first reaction/reply is "hey, what's going on? are you up there?" - basically I said something stupid and nonsensical but can't recall exactly. Paraphrasing my wife, she responds with something along the lines of "just take your glasses off". Then I reply again with "are you sure you're ready now?"... I mean really coming across like a dope at this point. She responds with "Just SHUT UP and go with it"...

So we had some nice lovin'. I went on an overnight business trip Monday and returned Tues around 5:30 pm. Guess she missed me more than I realized. That and the kids drove her up the wall. Funny thing is I'm higher drive than my wife, and I was fully ready to initiate sex tonight. But learning from past mistakes, when I came home I wasn't all "do you miss me? and can't wait to have sex tonight" like the old me would have. I learned that when I come home from an overnight or a few days away, I have to let her de-stress, spend some quality time with her, help resolve issues with kids, etc. etc. As a result of just laying back and taking it nice and slow with the wife and tending to her emotional needs, she beat me to the punch tonight...

Anyone else have funny/embarrassing moments where you're spouse practically had to hit you over the head to get you to have sex?


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

I only have like, a million of those moments.

A few months ago I spent a ridiculous amount of money on art supplies and I was all excited to get home and into my studio and go crazy on them. At some point my husband came in and just sat himself down on the beanbag and started talking at me. I wasn't really paying attention until he started trying to get my clothes off ("I'm doing laundry" he said). Then I finally looked at him, and he was completely naked (and had been the entire time). And I was mostly naked. And he said that he was doing laundry, but also all the kids were out... Wherever they go when they're not home (not my job to keep track of them, right) and we were going to have sex, if that was okay with me.

It's a good thing he's really, really not subtle or I'd never catch on. We'd be one of those couples that only bang on birthdays and anniversaries.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

With my wife? Nope, never.


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## flyer (Jun 23, 2014)

askari said:


> With my wife? Nope, never.



Same here.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I am ashamed to admit that I've missed blatant signals at times, from sexy lingerie to walking past naked. Usually when I'm focused on another task, of course. I do notice when she sits on my lap naked, at least. We have sex almost every day, but sometimes she's interested outside of the usual timeframe. We have a code word for such things, though. If she isn't getting noticed, all she has to say is, "MbH, NOW!"


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Happy....you lucky lucky guy! I wish my wife would say something like that (well, I used to wish...)

"Askari, get over here now...I NEEEEEEEEEd and WAAAAAAANT that lovely c*ck of yours". Never happened. In 22 years shes never snuggled up to me and just started caressing my morning wood....nada. Never told me she loved and wanted my c*ck etc - something we guys like to hear!

Fortunately I was involved with a girl for about 3 years (before wife)who would often wake me up with a bj.....and I would often wake her up 'sexually'....who loved sex.

Wife..nah. Even if my wife did try to wake me 'sexually' nothing would happen. Its too late. Years of rejection etc have taken its toll. Would much rather watch Nat Geo now.


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## flyer (Jun 23, 2014)

badsanta said:


> Sometimes when I am at my desk very busy with work, I will turn around and find boobs in my face. That pretty much gets the point across for me.
> 
> Unfortunately this works so well that this morning my wife got out of the shower and had to go to the dryer to get something. I happened to see her out of the corner of my eye, and it was like a cheetah and gazelle on the Serengeti moment.
> 
> ...




Ahhhh...I thought you were going to say by the time you got all the doors unlocked, she had pulled you in phucked your brains out.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I used to travel quite a bit. I would walk in the door to a torrent of complaints, anger, problems, broken objects and a long list of things to attend to. Anytime your mate isn't beating up for the sheer thrill of hearing themselves rattle off what your problem is is a win in my book.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Nope. I always know when my wife wants sex, whether the signals are overt or just a subtle look.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Nope. I always know when my wife wants sex, whether the signals are overt or just a subtle look.


I know when my wife wants sex - never.


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