# Afraid of what is really going on



## nbs4kms (Jun 27, 2013)

About 3 months ago I posted a thread about a huge week or so long fight my husband and I had. I left some details out of that thread in order to keep it short and to the point. Recently some of the behavior came back up.

What I left out was my husbands insane anger and some confusing statements he made when I asked him why he was so angry. He kept saying "I don't know. I hear demons talking to me." At first I brushed it off as him trying to scare me and use it as verbal abuse. 

So yesterday, I had a busy day ahead of me. I had a job interview for a great job that will allow me to be home more and make more money. I normally get 4-8 text msgs from my husband in a work day. Mostly short msg like : "love u" "how are u" "was up".
Yesterday I did not get one text from him. Even when I msg'd him. I called and no answer no call back. I thought no big deal he must be busy at work or left his phone in the car. So I go to my interview and it went great. All I wanted was to tell him all about it and that I got the job. With my current job I have to drop the kids off at his work, I have just enough time from when he is off and I start to make it on time. 

I dropped the kids off at his work and went to kiss hug and tell him the great news and he acted cold and distant. I asked him if he was mad at me he said "I don't know."

While I am at work he calls me. I was on a break so I answered. Off the bat he said "Where are you?" I answered "At work". He asked "Why has your phone in the truck for 30 mins. Don't you start at 4?." (I had dropped my phone in between the seat and console and in order not to clock in late i left it there and got my phone on my first break.) He hung up on me and I went back to work. He later texted me "I hear demons talking to me" When I got home I asked him what was going on he kept saying "I don't know"

He slept on the couch I slept in our bed.

This morning he was all love and kisses. Has texted me 4 times "Love u".

I don't know what to do...


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## hopelessromantic1 (Feb 16, 2012)

Get him to a doctor, or a therapist or something... this could be any number of scary things. Good luck!


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Is this new behavior? As in has he always said bizarre things like that? 
He needs to be seen by a therapist STAT! My guess is an undiagnosed mental 
illness, or could be something else!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Your first priority has to be to protect you and the kids. Second one is getting him some serious help. Anyone who talks about hearing demons isn't mentally healthy, IMHO. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw, consider getting a VAR, and get a recording of what he says. In case he needs to be put into some form of treatment against his will. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nbs4kms (Jun 27, 2013)

trey69 said:


> Is this new behavior? As in has he always said bizarre things like that?
> He needs to be seen by a therapist STAT! My guess is an undiagnosed mental
> illness, or could be something else!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No this is all new. He has always been easily stressed but nothing ever like this.

Right now we do not have any medical insurance or the money to get help. With my new job we will have medical insurance but not until September 9th. His mom was diagnosed with manic depression and/or bipolar disorder (there is some confusion or denial of what she really has been diagnosed with). I enlisted a friend to watch our girls tonight and possibly tomorrow night while I am at work. Told him I thought he could use some quiet personal time. Last night was rough while I was at work because I was worried about the kids. He has never hurt them or me but I have no clue where his mind is.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Is there anyway you can talk with a few of his Co-workers and see if he
telling them he sees demons too? Or if he is just doing this kind of behavior
with you. Would be interesting to see if he is displaying any odd behavior
at work as well. I have a few thoughts on what may or may not be going on.
One, he possibly has some mental issue going on. Two, he is taking some kind
of medication/ drugs that's making him hallucinate! Or, third he is yanking your chain,
Because he wants out of the marriage and maybe if you thought he was just crazy you would
leave. I know the third one is far fetched but you never know! 

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

His "demons" may be a suspicion that you're having an EA. That would explain why he was upset when you left your phone in the car - he may think it was for a less innocent reason.


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## argyle (May 27, 2011)

...I would be cautious about the co-workers thing...that could get him fired. (Not fair...but...) Seriously, he'd have a right to be very, very angry.

...if you're lucky, he suspects an EA.

...if you're mildly unlucky, he may be developing paranoid schizophrenia. Actually hearing things would be a bad sign.

...if you're really unlucky, under stress, some BPDs will show transient paranoid ideation - crazy levels of paranoia. Oh, and they tend to project bad behavior onto their partners. 

...or...if you hit the lottery...mental illness tends to have tons of co-morbidity...so it could be all 3.

--Argyle


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I didn't mean to go up to his co-workers and actually say, hey has my husband
been talking about seeing or hearing demons. Sorry that's not what I was meaning
when I mentioned checking out to see if he was displaying that kinda behavior at work too.
Not sure how to tell you to go about it though. Of course I guess if he were or there were 
a major concern about it they would be talking with him about it anyway, or he may not last
to long as his job anyway!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It may be worth to pay for a doctors visit, tell them your insurance will kick in soon so hold of on labwork and ask for samples of medications. However make sure your new insurance won't use this as a preexisting condition. keep the kids away and check in on him. Maybe talk to family members to keep and eye out. Any thing out of the ordinary call 911.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShockwaveRider (Jun 21, 2013)

argyle said:


> ...if you're mildly unlucky, he may be developing paranoid schizophrenia. Actually hearing things would be a bad sign.


This is what happened to my nephew when he was serving in the Navy. He heard all kinds of voices telling him to do all kinds of things. Poor kid. Here he was just trying to serve his country and something cracked inside him.

Be careful.

Shockwave


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I read this thread and your other one. Is it possible these cheating accusations about you could really be about him? Do you feel he is showing signs of guilt for something he has done and trying to turn it on you? 

As far as his behavior, that is unacceptable. The name calling, and verbal abuse etc. The demon thing, if he truly hears them you need to tell him you are concerned about him hearing things and suggest him see a doctor/therapist asap. My guess is, he will resist! He will either get better quickly, or refuse to go. Yes, its possible he will go, but its not that uncommon in people who have mental issues to not go, and its not uncommon in people who who don't want to be found out because of game playing to not go. I'm not saying he is, but the thought has crossed my mind. If he is, thats worse than a person with a mental illness they can't help, and should seek help for that as well.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I wouldn't take talk of demons too lightly.

Schizophrenia is definitely on the table.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Has he started taking any new medications that you are aware of? Or possibly, just suddenly stopped any medications he was on?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I had a coworker that started hearing things and the problem was after she started to fight herself (literally) she was 100% sure she had a microchip in her brain installed by her ex husbands attorney. There was no arguing with her, she agreed to get help but restated that we need to to find out how this worked so it wouldn't happen to us. You may have to get family, friends or church support, he's not going to understand the severity of his problem and can think you are plotting against him, and attack you. You need to think rationally and do not give in or try to convince him he's wrong. 

It is very real to them as they are feeling, seeing, and hearing things. Our minds are very powerful, at can reach to the point of not knowing what is real and what is not. You are not safe, even if you do not have the money or insurance there are programs and help you. Like I posted before, get the children out of the house. While many mental illnesses are treatable you can not be safe unti he's under treatment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## argyle (May 27, 2011)

Please do be careful - and find a specialist immediately and speak to them. Schizophrenics are not necessarily that dangerous (relatively low murder rate), but people talking about demons in their heads might well be. We had an unfortunate murder nearby committed by a schizophrenic man who'd refused treatment.

--Argyle


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Just a quick question, did your husband start speaking of hearing demons after he accused you
of cheating? Or did he say things like that before? Tell him you are worried about these demons
he speaks of and that you are willing to go to the doc with him to see what they feel might be happening!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nbs4kms (Jun 27, 2013)

So, On August 28th H and I had a massive fight about his behavior. I flat out told him while sobbing that I was seriously afraid of him. And that I was afraid to leave our kids home alone with him. At first he was pissed off. And began threatening suicide. Maybe it was wrong of me but at this point I called his bluff. I told him to please go and commit suicide but do it someplace else because I do not want the kids to see him do it nor the aftermath. Not proud of my actually suggesting...um telling him to do it, but I honestly knew he was just being dramatic. He said he can't believe I told him to kill himself, said he'd never tell me that. I said "You are killing me now by your insane behavior anyways." After that I stopped talking/yelling/fighting with him and went to bed on the couch. About 2 hours after our fight he came and woke me up, tears in his eyes, saying he was so sorry. He said he made up the demons to hurt/manipulate me and piss me off. He said "I am so sorry that I have made you afraid of me. I am supposed to be your shelter and protection." He promised to be a better husband/father and said he was done playing games.

Since then things have been better, aside from a few angry blow ups from him about me not answering my phone or not calling him back in a timely manner. (I am working 2 jobs...I barley have time to pee on my work days let alone call him back every time he calls me). He has been very loving and attentive to me. But I just don't feel the same about him anymore. I really want to go back to how we used to be. Best friends! I miss that so much but I do not feel the same anymore. I feel so bullied, beat and resentful. I guess time and consistency with his "new" better husband/father gig will help. But I just dont know.


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## argyle (May 27, 2011)

...ookay. So, he gaslit you to the point that you were wondering about schizophrenia?

...and he's still breathing? Feeling angry and distrustful is perfectly reasonable. (not serious, please don't kill someone) That said, if he is normal, it would be reasonable for him to be feeling isolated and jealous considering how much you're working.

Perhaps it would help to try reading through 
'The Emotionally Abusive Relationship'? Lovely book. There's a couple of chapters on how an abuser can work to repair a relationship.

--Argyle


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

nbs4kms said:


> He said he made up the demons to hurt/manipulate me and piss me off


That's a very strange thing for him to say and a really weird thing for him to do, if it's true.

I don't believe it's true, I think he's trying to cover up for some serious mental disorder that he doesn't understand and cannot begin to cope with on his own. 

He needs help.


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