# Moving On



## Amergin (Mar 31, 2011)

We have been separated since February. Up until July 1st, we tried an in-home separation, with the advice of our marriage counselor, whom we are both seeing separately. It sucks. I'm on my own now, in an apartment, but, due to her work schedule, spend Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at the house with our kids (4 and 7) until she gets home from work at 10:45ish. Any contact we have is devoid of any kind of feeling. It's like she has turned off the last 19 years and none of it happened. I hate it.

In my last session with the counselor, she pushed for me to move on with my life. My wife has said in the past that if she were pushed to decide now, she would choose divorce, but she hasn't actually acted on it. I'm having a really tough time moving on, when there's a possibility that we could get back together. I am trying to go out on the nights when I don't have the kids and do things actively, but I miss having someone to talk to about those things. I want to be able to go home and tell her about my day. 

I'm just really struggling with letting go and moving on. In my head, I know that we will end up divorced. My heart, though, can't accept it. 

I just needed to get this out there. I don't know what to do. I hate what is happening and wish I could do something to fix it.


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