# Toughy subject about sex.



## ohsobless (Aug 8, 2011)

When I was in my twenties, I'd dated this guy for about four months before I decided to have sex with him. Well, while during sex he made the comment. "This is so good, I can't believe you're giving this to me! You could charge cause you feel so good!" I instantly got up, got dress, went home and never excepted any of his calls, or anwered my door when he came by. 

Now when I reached my forties and was dating my soon to be husband (who was 8 years older than me). He'd often comment about how wonderful I made him feel in and out of bed. Okay, that sounded nice so I didn't kick him to the curb. Then one night while making love he came out with. "I can't believe you're giving this TO ME!" I had an instant flash back to the other guy's words but this time I let him finish, but after I didn't have much to say. I know I should had asked him to explain himself but I didn't. That might had been because he didn't had the part about selling myself.

Anyway, the thing that I can't understand is while we were married, and making love, he'd often times would say to me. "Wait, honey, don't move or are you their because I'm about to..." Or he'd ask if I could feel him...okay or he'd say "oh baby please hurry" (now to me I thought I was hurting him when he said that) but when I asked if I was hurting him he said..."no!" Since then I'd shied away from having sex. Been too busy with my life and getting my husband to divorce me...even thou he is seeing someone else. He just will not talk to me about divorce any further! (Needless to say he doesn't have to because I'm filing anyway). So when ever I form another relationship should I tone things down when it comes to sex? I don't think I was doing anything out of the ordinary. It was just me being me. Your opinion is most welcome.:scratchhead:


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

I'm not understanding what you are taken offense to. Men have been taught from day one that women are the keepers of sex. So in their eyes you giving yourself to them. They seem to be quite appreciative about it. Can you explain your reason for being upset?


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## ohsobless (Aug 8, 2011)

Angel5112 said:


> Men know that women don't think about sex in the same way that they do. Add that with them not getting it as often as they think is normal, and that is probably what is to blame for them thinking you are giving them something. It is really just their way of saying "Thank you for having sex with me, even though I know you might not have wanted to".
> 
> For most men intimacy is physical, while for women it is emotional. I don't find any of the statements you listed that odd. I do agree that the "charging for it" comment was tacky and rude.
> 
> ...


Thanks for your reply. I don't mind talking during sex, as a matter of fact I really welcome it...within limits. The "hurry" statement was after he had finished...not before. That's why I was thinking I might had been hurting him. Thanks again for getting back to me.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My advice... Work on open sexual communication without taking offense. You're both grownups, and sex us a healthy normal thing. If you can talk about what you like or don't like (to hear, to do, to have done), you'll both be much happier. Men SUCK at mind reading, unfortunately. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

ohsobless said:


> When I was in my twenties, I'd dated this guy for about four months before I decided to have sex with him. Well, while during sex he made the comment. "This is so good, I can't believe you're giving this to me! You could charge cause you feel so good!" I instantly got up, got dress, went home and never excepted any of his calls, or anwered my door when he came by.


From the guy's perspective he was complementing your performance, not saying you should take up prostitution. It's like having a friend pick out colors and tile for your kitchen remodel, and while it looks weird at the store, once it's done, it looks amazing. "I can't believe you did this for free, you should charge people for this!"



ohsobless said:


> The "hurry" statement was after he had finished...not before. That's why I was thinking I might had been hurting him. Thanks again for getting back to me.


Most men are unable to matain an errection after finishing. He was saying hurry because he wanted you to get off before he lost his errection.


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## lost in translaion (Aug 8, 2011)

my opinion , as a man , we are way different than woman when comes to bed,,, we just say words and we do not even think about them, just some words to make our partner happy,, stupid is it

but trust me man , always asked are you there , because he want to see if the woman is having good time as he does. 

you just need to tell him same as he tell u , yes I am here , and say some dirty words, it ll sound good, it spices in Sex


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Yea, the first comment was a bit tacky, but he meant it as a compliment, suggesting that you were awesome. Sounds childish, though.

Keep in mind, though, that when any guy feels like his words are being judged when having sex, it is awkward for them, too, knowing that a few misplaced words will get him kicked to the curb. For a man, making love is about trust, so knowing that the partner would find it natural to assume negative intentions within the words can create an environment where true closeness cannot be reached.


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