# Any thoughts?



## Rick_12345 (May 19, 2009)

As I look back on 16 years of a wonderful marriage, I am blessed to have a beautiful family. We are currently transitioning back to the United States after three years in Germany, but am disappointed in my wife’s openly desire to revisit old high school and college classmates. I’ve never been the jealous type but recently feel burdened by her willingness to want to see all these people without me. I’ve always been fairly attractive, assertive, well paid, and easy to talk to, so this revisiting old ties just dumbfounds me. As her high school reunion approaches, conversations never ask me to come, but always end in “you’ll get bored” or “if you want to”. Don’t get me wrong, I trust my wife whole heartedly, but many of these “friends” are recently divorced. In fact, one guy invited her to go to Wisconsin Summer fest to go partying. I don’t recollect being invited until I said something. She actually wants to attend but is willing to meet up with him for lunch instead. Am I overanalyzing this? After warmly confronting my wife with my feelings, she turned it back on me saying I didn’t trust her and it hurts. 
Troubled and embarrassed.


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## Country Girl (Apr 19, 2009)

Is she by any chance getting connected to these old classmates through Face Book and My Space? From what I went through that's where some of my problems began. I have very little use for those sites (where married people are concerned).


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## Rick_12345 (May 19, 2009)

You are correct. It seems everyone is on Facebook. She reassures me nothing is sent that I wouldn't want to see, but then why send private messages. Never really had a need to reconnect with folks 20+ years ago. Am I missing something? Thanks for the note.


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## Country Girl (Apr 19, 2009)

I guessed that correctly. If she has her page set to private, will she invite you as a friend? My ex originally started doing the Facebook and Myspace to keep up with our employees and children--at least that's what he said. Then he set it to private and started hiding more details. I'm in full agreement with you on that; why would I want to reconnect with people I have seen in 20 years. If there were something special going on between us, we would have stayed in contact.

Unfortunately, people don't always appreciate what they have until they lose it. And your wife is playing with fire. She is distancing herself from you, and she may not even see it yet. I really think you could benefit from seeing a counselor before this gets serious.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Dunno...
my husband is on those sites, facebook, classmates and it doesn't bother me one way or another. I don't even give it much thought.
Suppose if it ever did bother me, I'd put up my own profile.

I can't see myself doing that as I'm not much of a "look at me" person... and like to keep my personal life private.
I have seen my stepdaughters profile, she writes everything about her life and even posts her phone number on the site. I guess
thats what turns me off about it. Seems attention seeking 
( those sites) to me.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

I'm a Facebook/MySpace addict. I love reconnecting w/people from the past. My husband was never jealous. He hated those sites he's like if I wanted to be found and people to know all about my life I'd get on there but I don't. Funny thing is...when we separated the first thing he did was go out and set up a MySpace profile....interesting. I've never hidden anything I show him all my old "friends" if the conversation moves beyond FB/MS then it always takes place in front of him. I begged my husband to come to my 10 year reunion last year...nope. He didn't want to. 

I'd say in your situation if you're questioning intentions etc. Make a profile and join in even if it's just to "watch" and make sure intentions aren't foul. But that's just IMO


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