# I feel like such a fool :(



## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

Well that old saying that the truth will set you free is a bunch of crap! Yesterday my hubby finally told the truth, and I am not free at all. I am a prisoner to the pain that is consuming me. I know over time it will get better, but right now it is just constant. Don't eat, I don't sleep, and all I think about is how my life just did a 180.
I just asked him if he is completely done with our marriage, and he doesn't even know for sure. However he is not ready to work on it. I just told him not to call me unless it is an emergency, and not to ask me to do anything for him other then paying the household bills with the money he provides. He needs to know what his choice means. No me to cater to him.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Good girl. Don't let this guy push you around or feed you a line of total bs. Be strong and make him come to you. There's a lot of good support on this site.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Hang in there young lady. You will make it. Just take care of yourself. Eat healthy and exercise. Exercise is a great stress reliever. Don't let anyone destroy who you are. I'm betting on you.
Sorry my sentences are so choppy, I work in a technical field and this is how we write. Or at least I do.


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## Gonnabealright (Oct 24, 2013)

Let me emphasize that this is a very criticial point in time. You need to take control. You need to do a 180 today. He doesn't get to decide anymore. The 180 helps you, not him and it also serves as your best chance to get him to see the light. 

I'm sorry your here. Read all you can here. Read the books people reccommend but most importantly start a 180 for yourself and protect yourself, divorce is very ugly. He is now your enemy.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Your still in a state of shock. Even when you suspect it, till you hear the words nothing hits you harder. Stop asking him if he is done with the marriage, his actions have given you those answers. 

It incredibly hard and will go against the very way you have thought for years but now think about yourself. You want to save the marriage today but give yourself some time to think clearly. You will want to give him time “to come to his senses” Don’t. Hire yourself a good lawyer, file something soon is the best tactic. It will force real life back onto him and protect yourself. Many things you think he will take care of, he may not you just never know and he has been thinking just of himself with his actions. The trust has been broken


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

Bookwrmmom, it'll get better after the initial shock starts wearing off. You need to consult a divorce attorney for legal advice as soon as you can.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

BWM,

I think you are looking at this entirely backwards. The truth does set you free. You are keeping yourself prisoner and that is the problem.

Why do you give one iota of a [email protected][email protected] if he is done with the marriage.

This is not his decision. It is yours. You should be the one making the decision if YOU are done with the marriage. Do you want someone to treat you like dirt? Do you want to be married to someone who shows you utter contempt and disrespect. Do you want to be seen as totally week and spineless. Why are you asking him if he is done. You should have kicked him out.

I know it hurts. I know you are in a lot of pain. You need to change your perspective. You have been trapped in a marriage with someone who is disrespectful and dishonest. Is that what you want out of life? Is it?

Take the time to work on you. Find yourself and start doing what makes you happy. The rest will follow.

I am sorry you are here sister. God bless. Be strong and start taking charge of the things you can control, i.e. you.


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## gulizioquel (Mar 25, 2014)

I work in a technical field and this is how we write. Or at least I do.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

bookwrmmom, You are not a fool.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Every time I look back at a relationship that wasn't good for me, I'm never sorry it ended. 

Time heals.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

You should not feel like a fool.you were fooled by someone you thought "loved"you.you now see him for what he is really like.follow the advice from the people here.take care of yourself.best of luck.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

Thank you all so much! Yes last night I told him not to call me unless it was an emergency. I need time to start healing, and I can't do it if he is calling me for misc. BS. I am the wife who literally did everything for my husband...need to know you checking acct. Balance....he called me. Every business call made, that was me. Need a doctor appt made....me again. There is very little this man had to do for himself other then work. Now he can do it on his own or get his skank to do it. 
He is not ready to walk away from her completely, and she lives all the way in TX and he is from NC. He only works occasionally in TX, so unless he moves there I am not sure how that will work. I HOPE they both go through some pain for what they are doing to their families. She is married too.
I am getting a bit stronger each day, but I know it is taking time. I think I have been trying to hold on to what I THOUGHT I had.....obviously I didn't. I have been wanting the man I have been in love with for 16 years, but right no there is no sign of him. Everything he always criticized in others he is doing. It is time for me to start living my life as a single woman...I just have to figure out how to do that. I am no where near interested in dating. Honestly the thought of dating and being intimate with someone right now is kind of nauseating. I will get there but it will take time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bookwrmmom said:


> Thank you all so much! Yes last night I told him not to call me unless it was an emergency. I need time to start healing, and I can't do it if he is calling me for misc. BS. I am the wife who literally did everything for my husband...need to know you checking acct. Balance....he called me. Every business call made, that was me. Need a doctor appt made....me again. There is very little this man had to do for himself other then work. Now he can do it on his own or get his skank to do it.
> He is not ready to walk away from her completely, and she lives all the way in TX and he is from NC. He only works occasionally in TX, so unless he moves there I am not sure how that will work. I HOPE they both go through some pain for what they are doing to their families. She is married too.
> I am getting a bit stronger each day, but I know it is taking time. I think I have been trying to hold on to what I THOUGHT I had.....obviously I didn't. I have been wanting the man I have been in love with for 16 years, but right no there is no sign of him. Everything he always criticized in others he is doing. It is time for me to start living my life as a single woman...I just have to figure out how to do that. I am no where near interested in dating. Honestly the thought of dating and being intimate with someone right now is kind of nauseating. I will get there but it will take time.


NC? If the divorce can be launched there don't they allow alienation of affection actions there?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> NC? If the divorce can be launched there *don't they allow alienation of affection actions there?*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Now that's definitely something to consider! And after looking at the title of your thread, I'm sorry that you feel like a "fool." You are NOT a fool, he is! You sound like a wonderful woman, a good and loyal wife. He's the one that's losing something great, and I don't just mean the marriage itself. After reading hundreds of threads on this (and other sites) it seems that finding a woman like you is a difficult task to say the least. He's throwing it all away, and for what? Physical attractiveness fades over time as does sexual attraction. When I was in the army and separated from my wife, we soldiers always joked that sex was the thing we missed the most, and got tired of first. There's a lot more to a good marriage than what goes on in the bedroom. He'll discover that soon, to his dismay. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do. My guess is that after awhile, you'll start considering doing some dating. Who knows, you might find someone who can really appreciate you for who you are and what you can bring into a relationship. Peace!


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Not knowing much about what happened. It sounds like you are doing the right things. The one thing I know about cheaters is they lie about everything. 

Not eating and sleeping is normal. Get to a doctor and tell them what has happened and get checked for STD's. Get some exercise and the eating will come back. Get into IC it will help you cope with the pain.


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

bookwrmmom said:


> He is not ready to walk away from her completely, and she lives all the way in TX and he is from NC. He only works occasionally in TX, so unless he moves there I am not sure how that will work. I HOPE they both go through some pain for what they are doing to their families. *She is married too.*
> I am getting a bit stronger each day, but I know it is taking time. I think I have been trying to hold on to what I THOUGHT I had.....obviously I didn't. I have been wanting the man I have been in love with for 16 years, but right no there is no sign of him. Everything he always criticized in others he is doing. It is time for me to start living my life as a single woman...I just have to figure out how to do that. *I am no where near interested in dating.* Honestly the thought of dating and being intimate with someone right now is kind of nauseating. I will get there but it will take time.



Bookwrmmom, you need to inform her husband that his wife is having an affair. He has a right to know. I did that and despite being somewhat surprised he was very grateful. We still talk from time to time.

Just like you I have no desire to reenter dating scene. Actually, I'm quite happy living with my parents again.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

I am trying my damdest to find a number to contact him but and having trouble even finding a family member to call. I have been told that he knows because apparently she has moved out of their home into an apartment. 
Yes NC is an alienation of affection state which is why I used that as leverage in getting my household bills paid until the divorce. Right now he is defensive of his Skank....she is such a nice person he says. I told him last night "news flash Baby, she is is a married woman who cheated on her husband with you...she is NOT a nice person". I told him that if she cheated on her husband to be with you, then she will do it to you too. He is 46 and she is 33 and he is infatuated that this younger woman would want him. The shine will wear off, and if he is lucky, REAL lucky then I will maybe not have moved on and will MAYBE consider reconciliation.
Who knows though, some mid life crisis men never wake up and smell the roses. I promise this long distance relationship will not last unless he sells everything, leaves everything, finds a new job and moves to Texas....which he hates. He doesn't even like Texas. 
Anyway, I told him to leave me alone and do all the things that I usually do for him himself...or ask his skank to do it.


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## cool12 (Nov 17, 2013)

you are no fool.
a fool would stick around and let him call all the shots.

and yeah, the shine will fade.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

BWM - keep to one thread, it is confusing going back and forth to find out information.

Start the 180 hard. The 180 is for you. You seem to have started off on the right foot as far as the contact goes, limiting it to emergencies.

1. Get tested for STD's.
2. Get all your accounts in order.
3. Expose and don't let your husband know you are doing it.
4. Lawyer up.
5. It will be very rocky emotionally for quite a while.
6. This is not your fault.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

The reason he doesn't know if he's done is that he doesn't know for sure what his options are. That very much makes you plan b. Even if he decides he wants to come back, think long and hard about whether you want to be plan b, because as soon as he finds a shiny new toy he'll be gone again. He's now shown you who he is, believe him.
Take care of yourself and find someone for whom you will be plan A.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Lifeistooshort is right on the money and take Thornburn's step by step advice to the bank. 

He is trying to keep you on the hook in case the skank (good word by the way) does not work out.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

I finally found a number for her husband and we had a long and interesting conversation. What him in I have in common is that we both want to save our marriage.
I am not EVER going to be plan B! If my husband comes back then I already told him I will accept nothing less then 100%. 
I know that people's marriages can survive this, but it takes a lot of hard work. IF and this is a big IF this can be worked out, than it will take a lot of time and work to fix it. I will not settle for less then 100% from him. If I don't get it then I am out. However I do love my husband and I think (not sure) that I can eventually forgive.
All of this is speculation at this point. I have over 15 good years in this before this happened and I think it is worth trying to fix. Whether that will happen or not, I do not know.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I am glad you were able to expose to the skank's husband. Did this just happen and have you heard from your husband?

Do not stop there make sure your families know as well


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

I told my husband not to call me unless it was an emergency. It is time for him to realize just what he is missing. It is time for him to face the choice he has made. So I have nothing to say for a while!


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## carmen ohio (Sep 24, 2012)

Dear bookwrmmom,

Rarely does a betrayed spouse react as intelligently and collectedly are you have thus far. While I am terribly sorry that your husband has done this to you, I have a feeling that you are going to be just fine, whatever he does.

My only suggestion is that you focus on your health (eating properly, getting enough rest, exercising and avoiding alcohol), as you will need all of your physical strength to get though this and, the healthier you are, the more emotional strength and clarity of thought you will have.

Wishing you all the best.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

BWM You are no fool. You know how many times I have seen something like your story? I know you were blindsided.

Need any technical or logistical help just ask or PM. I am just a wee bit known over in the infidelity section... as a destroyer of affairs.

WL


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

One more thing: file for divorce now. I know it seems counterintuitive because you want to save the marriage, but right now you're allowing your hb to dither because he knows you're waiting for him. This also decreases your value. Take his safety net away, then when he sees you moving on he may change his mind. Then you can lay out your terms for R. If you leave the decision to him, you'll never really know if he came back because he couldn't get something else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

You are right on about the no contact but when it gets back to him that you exposed he will lash out. You are going to be upsetting his little world where he is getting what he wants.........


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> One more thing: file for divorce now. I know it seems counterintuitive because you want to save the marriage, but right now you're allowing your hb to dither because he knows you're waiting for him. This also decreases your value. Take his safety net away, then when he sees you moving on he may change his mind. Then you can lay out your terms for R. If you leave the decision to him, you'll never really know if he came back because he couldn't get something else.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unfortunately in the state of NC you have to be separated for a year b4 you can file for divorce. So we have 11 more months, and he knows it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bookwrmmom said:


> Unfortunately in the state of NC you have to be separated for a year b4 you can file for divorce. So we have 11 more months, and he knows it.



There's no exceptions for things like adultery? I get that they might want people that "just aren't happy" to think it over but I would think a state with alienation of affection laws would be willing to expedite divorce for adultery.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

bookwrmmom said:


> Unfortunately in the state of NC you have to be separated for a year b4 you can file for divorce. So we have 11 more months, and he knows it.


Is that true even when infidelity is involved? Around here, if there's infidelity or abuse, the waiting period is waived. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Bookworm,

You are very level headed.

Good job.

Let your WH know that he is rapidly receding in the rear view mirror


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

NC cheating COUNTS! Clean his azz out!

GET YOUR EVIDENCE but clam up!

ugh I gotta go. Kid thing going on. Someone repost my standard instructions... please!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

idea one: VAR get him to admit. NC is 1 party consent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Opening salvo. really gotta go now.

other ideas coming.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

WEIGHTLIFTER's STANDARD POST... He's a bit tied up at the moment.

------------------

Below is the standard evidence post. It is my work but the collected wisdom of dozens here.

28 cheating wives and one cheating husband hate me. They have not idea I exist but am the reason their affair blew the fvck up.

Standard Post
Your wife is acting funny. Her phone and email suddenly have passwords you don't know. She shuts down phone apps or changes windows on the computer whenever you enter the room. She is suddenly staying out until 2 to 5 in the morning. She has new single friends. She has lost weight and is dressing hotter to boot. Her ex contacted her 3 weeks ago and she wants “to meet to catch up at some public place” Any of this sound familiar? If your wife comes home from an alone time does she immediately change liners, change panties possibly even immediately laundering them?, shower? This can be an after the fact clean up. 

If you are reading this your gut is going crazy. “Relax”, in that there is a high liklihood that you are not crazy at least. “Your gut” is your basic instinct from the caveman period. There is something up with your mate. It is part of your mind built into you and in your DNA. You probably cant sleep. You are losing weight like crazy and are not hungry. Well if you are reading this and that is 90% of you reading this if its your first time... You are embarking on what is probably going to be the worst time of your life.

Chin up, yes I know it is damn near impossible to believe now, but I and the people at TAM here have taken dozens of men through this process. Some reconcile, most dont in the long run so be aware. Most of us hang around this grim grim place for a sense of “pay it forward” and “getting at the truth” Even in divorce, the long run the majority find love again... yes really. Often selecting a far far better future companion. Read poster BFF for a thread of disaster, divorce, recovery, and a new wonderful woman in his life. Younger and hotter, yes, but also one with better boundaries, often a far far better personality match. Oh and they get to go through that first time with her after the first I love you's have been exchanged. Just know, that for the majority, even if the marriage crashes, in six months, a year, maybe two you will wonder how you got so far so fast and how great your new life is. You will also be MUCH MUCH stronger as a person.

So. Here are your instructions. Do this now. I dont mean next week. I mean make something up within the next day and GET IT DONE! Not looking will only prolong your agony.
Rule 1 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 
Rule 2 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 
Rule 3 for this.
SHUT UP. Eyes open. YOUR mouth closed. confronting only makes them better at hiding. 

NO MORE CONFRONTS!! Play dumb husband for a bit. Dont drive her further underground! Soft confronts with little evidence RARELY WORK AND ONLY MAKE GETTING AT THE TRUTH HARDER!!! THIS PROLONGS YOUR AGONY! 

Buy 2 sony ICDPX312 or ICDPX333 voice activated recorders. Best Buy sells them for like 50 bucks. DO NOT BUY a cheap VAR. SONY SONY SONY. USE LITHIUM batteries. We have examples of 25 hour recordings using them on these sony recorders. My icon here IS a Sony ICDPX312. No I do not have stock in nor work for Sony.

Setup instructions are on page 19. Also good stuff on page 31.
Use 44K bit rate for balancing file size vs quality DO NOT USE 8K!!!!! Simply put. The higher the quality the better the sound and 8K sucks. ALSO. The higher the quality the more you can manipulate the mp3 in Audacity.
Set VOR "on" see page 38
See page 40 for adding memory if necessary
Play with it yourself to get familiar. TEST IT OUT 
Turn off the beep feature. Its on one of the menus. You can even play prevent defense by going to a dollar store, buying uber-cheapie earbuds, cut off the buds but put in the jack which will actually disable the speaker for additional protection.

Go to Walmart and buy heavy duty velcro.
This is one item: Velcro Heavy-Duty Hook and Loop Fastener VEK90117: Office : Walmart.com
also
Purchase VELCRO Hook and Loop Fasteners, Sticky-Back, for less at Walmart.com. Save money. Live better.
The velcro is usually in the fabric section or less often in the aisle with the fasteners like screws. The velcro pack is mostly blue with a yellow top. Clear pack shows the vecro color which is black or white. 

Use the velcro to attach the var under her seat UP INSIDE. SECURE IT WELL!!!!!! So well even a big bump wont knock it off. attach one side HD velcro from Walmart to back. USE BIG PIECE
attach other side HD velcro again UP INSIDE car seat. ATTACH THE CRAP out of it. It needs to stay put going over big potholes or railroad tracks.

Put the second VAR in whatever room she uses to talk in when you are not around. If you are a typical man, use your size advantage to put it someplace she cant reach, even on a chair. Beware spring cleaning season if she does it.

I recommend exporting the sound files to your comp. The recorder is very cumbersome for playback.

Amazon has a pen VAR that can be placed in a purse or other small place to get remote conversations. Yes the pen works.

IMPORTANT warning. If you hear another man and perhaps a little kissing or activity... STOP Listening and have a trusted friend listen and tell you what went on. Knowing she is a cheat will kill you. Hearing her moan while another man is inside her will murder you to your very soul!!!!!! You are not strong enough to hear that. Dont try it. I know what I am talking about in this.

If you need clean up the recordings get Audacity. Its free from the internet. I have used it on var work for others here to remove things like engine noise. If needed, I have done var work for four men here. RDMU is the only one who has released some of the confidentiality. 

Lets be very clear about what the VAR is for and is not for. It will not be court admissible evidence. It is not for the confrontation. IT IS TO GET YOU AHEAD OF THE AFFAIR so you can gain other real evidence by knowing the who and when. NEVER MENTION YOUR VAR EVIDENCE. As far as the cheater is concerned, they were seen by a PI or something NOT your VAR!! 

The ezoom GPS has been found to be easy to buy at Radio shack and useful. There is even a locator webpage you can track with. Amazon sells a semen detection kit called checkmate.

Look for a burner phone. This is a second phone from a prepay service just used for cheating communications. That is often why wives let the husband "see their phone" They don't use their main phone for cheating purposes.

There is an app out there called teensafe. Its for both Iphone and Android. It monitors texts, GPS and facebook. Needs no jailbreak. Not perfect and delayed but no jailbreak required.

Look for apps on her phone like words with friends. It has a non traceable texting feature.
Here is a list 25 Apps to Help You Cheat On Your Girlfriend | Complex

If he uses chrome or firefox, there is probably a list of saved passwords you can look at. Even if his email isn't saved there, people usually only use a couple of different passwords, so one from the list might work. 

For firefox it's Tools -> Options -> Security -> Saved Passwords

For Chrome it's the little box with three bars in the top right -> Settings - Show advanced settings -> Managed saved passwords

If paternity is in doubt, (gredit graywolf2) SNP Microarray: Unlike amniocentesis, a non-invasive prenatal paternity test does not require a needle inserted into the mother’s womb. The SNP microarray procedure uses new technology that involves preserving and analyzing the baby’s DNA found naturally in the mother’s bloodstream. The test is accurate, 99.9%, using a tiny quantity of DNA — as little as found in a single cell. 

Credit john1068 01-09-2014
Is her internet browsers set up to use Google as the default search engine? And does she use a gmail account? If so, she can delete here browser history all she wants, that only deletes the history that is localbin the browser itself...

On ANY computer, navigate to https://google.com/history. Log in using her gmail credentials and you'll have all history right there. Cant be deleted unless your wife logs in this same way...she'd only be deleting Chrome, IE, or Firefox history, not the Google history when deleting within the browser itself. 

01172014 1033A

There does not appear to be a function within the Android OS that allows the recall of deleted info as is found on IOS. However, even on Android, When a text is deleted, the OS simply "loses" the address to where it is on the memory chip, but it's still there. 

Go to your computer and navigate to Dr. Fone for Android @ Dr.Fone for Android - Android Phone & Tablet Data Recovery SoftwareAndroid Phone Data Recovery.

You can download a trial version if you're operating system is XP/Vista/Win 7/Win 8 all on either 32 or 64 bit.

Download the program to your computer, open it, connect the Android phone to the computer via the micro USB cable and follow the instructions on the Dr. Fone program. You can recover deleted SMS, MMS, photos (yes, this includes SnapChats), vids, and documents.

Not everything is recoverable because the operating system continues to overwrite the data so if you don't recover this data on a regular basis, you may miss some pieces...

But there are also many Android apps that store deleted files and texts, even some that allow you to download and HID the app (ex. ). 

They are also in her Spotlight Search...don't even need to connect to a computer. All deleted texts are still held onto. Type in the contact TELEPHONE number and every text, even the deleted ones, will show up in the search.

IOS 7 from any home screen put your finger in the middle of the screen and swipe downward. Enter the telephone number and start reading the hits.

IOS 6 from the first home screen, swipe left, enter the telephone number and start reading the hits. 

Credit rodphoto 01162014 
After researching the web for countless hours about software to find deleted messages on my wife's iphone I figured out this super easy method.

From the home screen swipe left to right until the spotlight page appears. Its a screen with the key board at bottom and a box at the top that says "search iphone" type your typical search words, anything sexual etc... All past messeges containing the search word will appear on a list, deleted or not. You'll only get the first line but that is usually enough. Just busted my wife again doing this a few days ago!

Rugs: swipe left on your first page of the main menu.

"spotlight search" under settings -> general -> spotlight search has to show "messages" as ticked. 

Right here, right now: Taking screenshots on iOS devices -> hold down home button and press sleep button. The screenshot will be placed under your photo album.

Also there is an app to "stitch" messages like a panoramic photo, but only for iPad. go to app store and search "stitch". Damn it's 4 am. i need to go to bed. 

Note that this applies only to Spotlight Search in IOS 6 and lower. For IOS 7 running on Iphone 4 and 5, put your finger in the middle of any of the home screens and swipe downward. 

Type in the search string you want (telephone number, contact name, keyword, etc) and it will search every instance in the iPhone where that appears. 

You may FIRST want to go into the Settings>General>Spotlight Search and then check or uncheck the areas that you want to search - make certain that "messages" and "mail" are CHECKED or else your search will not look into these areas. 

The same info is on the spot light on the ipad too ! If the settings isnt checked off, you can find all the same history! 

Credit tacoma 03072014

This Google search history page weightlifter mentioned here doesn't just record the search term it records everything spoken into Google Now by voice command. There is a text read out for everything spoken into the phone through Google Now and since Androids later versions have integrated Google Now right into the OS just about everything spoken into an Android phone is saved at https://google.com/history

Commands to call me, entire voice texts, everything she has said into the phone is right here.
I don't even know how it could be deleted if you wanted to.

Considering almost everyone has an Android phone and voice command is becoming more popular this is a nice tool for a BS.

Edit: It even has every Google Maps/Navigator GPS search saved.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Yes, of you want a real eye opener for him,get the evidence for the affair that can be used in court and divorce him ASAP. This will give him a real shock how quickly you are moving on. It takes away completely his control,because right now he thinks he has it. It will unnerve him hugely and bring on in a big way the second guessing of all his decisions.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

So sorry you going through this. Please try to believe, everything changes almost daily...and will for awhile. So don't be fearful, that what you do today, will be permanent right tomorrow. 

Find the courage deep inside of yourself. Your inner self...

-sammy


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