# Wife not liking the facial hair....



## one_strange_otter

So, agreed to No-Shave November at work...All month long the only comments she has made have been "my that is growing in full now" around week 3 but other than that nothing. Then she posted on facebook yesterday that she's glad December is almost here because I get to shave. But I like my beard. I like my mustache. Took a month but it's looking decent. Anyways, I asked her about it at dinner yesterday and she said she doesn't like it. Doesn't like the way she gets tickled on her skin when I kiss her. I didn't press the issue but it came up again in bed last night. Only this time she said "I just don't know if I can kiss you if you don't shave it. Would you rather shave it or not ever get kisses from me again?". I was a little upset but remembered to stay cool. I said that it was my face and I should be able to do what I want with it. I said I want kisses of course but I also like my beard now. It's the first one I've ever grown and it makes me feel manly. So, opinions on her trying to force me to shave? I saw it as a fitness test and hopefully passed. Can't really tell right now until I see her again tonight when I get home from work.


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## YinPrincess

Do what makes you happy! Personally I think she's crazy... I LOVE manly body hair! Beards, mustaches, chest hair, hell, back hair! LoL!!! She's entitled to not like it if she doesn't want, but that's your face!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous

All I have to add is....I am very happy my husband has no desires for a beard, because I would HATE it and then find many other men more attractive than him. I would also have a very hard time not expressing how I felt about it. Plus I love to touch my husband's face, would miss that adorable dimple on his chin that I like to run my fingers around & push up against. BUt since he likes to shave, this has never been an issue with us. I do, however, like a little stubble, I do find that sexy, even more than newly shaved. 

My son is growing a little beard, I think he could look alot better with it gone & attract even more women , but he seems to enjoy that I hate it, it is not like I can tell him what to do - So maybe I will use some reverse Psychology and start telling him how much I suddenly adore it, and see if he shaves it off. He likes to razz me about it -cause he knows I don't like it . 

If this is ONLY FOR 1 MONTH and she knows you will be shaving it off (if that is the case), I wouldn't see this as a big deal really, I wouldn't care if my husband did that & I would TRY to keep my mouth shut for that duration ,though I could see me being very excited about Dec 1st, I might even put a Bow on the shaver. I would NOT want to be married to a ZZTop look alike. 

I wouldn't see this as a fitness test though. I would see this as a matter of attractivess to your spouse. 

I guess you could look at it -as if.... what is she decided to change her hair Flaming red or wants it cut short when you like it long, or wants to do a perm, but you feel it looks like an old lady. I think it is loving to have some consideration for our spouses tastes, as we need their "desire" for us , after all they are the ones who who will be kissing us and making love to us.


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## Jen S

Ha ha the main page shows only "Wife not liking the facial..." and I got here to find an entirely different question. Anyway, I've asked my hubby to try different things in terms of his facial hair and on those occasions when he's done something with it just to please me, we both end up unhappy. I guess it is a fitness test of a kind like you say. But you need to do what you like because its such a personal thing for you. Don't shave just because she wants you to. But maybe compromise with her and see if she'll be happy with you adjusting another, less personal or important (to you) part of your look.


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## SimplyAmorous

For some reason I thought this question was in the Ladies section , my mistake ! I guess you was looking for men's opionions only. They will probably disagree with me on that Fitness testing thing.

Oh well you at least got one idea of how your wife may "feel" on the subject, from another who doesn't care for beards.


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## that_girl

I can't stand beards. I don't know any man with a beard that I would say is attractive. I don't mind goatees or mustaches...but they remind me of my dad lollll. My husband shaves everyday for work and I love a clean shaven face 

I wonder how men would feel if women stopped shaving for a month. LOLLL


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## LittleLady25

I LOVEEEE a bit of facial hair...so I prob cant comment too much , but just tell her when Mo vembers over youll get rid??? If you want to that is ....otherwise youll have to come up with a compromise...My Husband has had facial hair since before we met, I think its very rugged and sexy (Dare I say LOL ) so I think that youll have to come up with some sort or little compromise so that you are both happy....although it is your face and also if she decided to change her har lets say would you object? Is that kind of the equivalent does anyone think?
Hope it works out .......
Edited to say ----- OMG didnt realise this was the mans section....whoops (i just looked for 'new posts' and this came up) Yikes sorry boys........(Littlelady closes door behind her)


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## heartsbeating

I hope you raised some money to help prostate cancer awareness/research during November!!

Hubs has grown facial hair before. Yes, very scratchy for the smooching. I was conflicted about it because I like the unkept look - facial hair and slightly long hair too. I did end up asking him to shave as it got too scratchy. He refused lol. It wasn't a big deal for us. But then he ended up shaving for a new job anyway ....he was determined to keep his hair slightly long but the hairdresser cut too much off. He got the job at least. 

To shave or not to shave? It's up to you but when I surprised hubs (and myself - one of my spur of the moment decisions) with a super short haircut a few years ago, he was nice about it but told me he prefers me with long hair. It's him I want to attract and my hair is long once again!


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## Mephisto

Tried conditioning it, makes the hairs softer and less scratchy.... have had a goatee for years and it needs a bit of loving to maintain. Can't expect that a full beard would be any less demanding.


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## chattycathy

I prefer clean shaved faces or shadows over beards 
cause
beards hide handsome faces.

I always miss the face.

Anyway, how about you and she agree how long you should keep the beard? Tell her you like having it for now but will shave it on a certain date and not grow one back for a year and go back and forth or something.


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## Confused_and_bitter

My H also didn't shave for the month of November he makes his decision on his facial hair after all it's his face but I only ask for one thing and that is that he keeps it trimmed by that I mean a neat mustache and beard. He once grew out his beard in the winter but refused to trim anything so his mustache grew over his lips and would actually catch bits of food! He shaved everything off because he didn't want to bother trimming LOL. So after that is when I told him trimming will be required if he wants to continue to grow out his facial hair because I don't like it when he looks like a bum.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kobo

funny how so many women prefer what is generally required if you want to move into the executive offices.

I would ask you is it that important to you? I've had a mustache since 18 and a beard since I left the Navy. It's my preferance and my wife doesn't have an issue with it. Everything your wife asks of you isn't a fitness test. She should probably not communicate that you shave or else no kisses. It's all about how much you want to keep the look. My wife shaved her head because the chemicals she used in her hair were messing with her scalp and the quickest/easiest thing to do was chop it off. I didn't begin to find other women more attractive than her. I doubt your wife would stop kissing you because you grow a beard. You can use it to score some points. Make a big deal about it then come out of the shower shaven and say "I did it for you".


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I love passionate kissing from my husband, even after 12 years of marriage. Facial hair hurts like heck, so I prefer clean shaven skin. No stubble either. 

My husband prefers a clean shaven woman, so it works both ways. We both shave everday. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear

I don't see it as a fitness test. She's expressing her preference. Strongly. . And personally, I think you'd be foolish to ignore it, since it affects her kissing enjoyment.

None of my partners has been in favor of facial hair, and I'm willing to to go with them on that. It's not a hill I'm going to make a stand on; it's simply not that big of an issue for me, and I'd rather not endure scrunched up faces when I kiss someone.

But as a guy, thank you for doing that. . Rather than grow my facial hair, I just supported some of my friends who did.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment

Not sure your wife is testing you, maybe you are testing her? 

My H had a beard only once around 12 years ago or so. He looked very nice in it, but it was truly nasty - it was indeed cringeworthy to be around. Couldn't help flinching from it when he would try and kiss around on me.

He asked if I liked his beard - I would say that he looked nice in it because he did, but he did notice the involuntary flinching away from it. One night, he walked out of the shower in to the bedroom and was clean-shaven - stated he'd rather have more smooching than have a bristly beard. 

I never did ask him to shave it. But it was nice that he cared enough to shave it off to make things more comfortable for me. It's the same thing with my hair. I know that he *loves* long hair. So, I have hair down past the middle of my back, but it is a pain to maintain. If he said he liked pixie cuts, I'd probably chop it all off in a quick minute.


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## OliveAdventure

Jen S said:


> Ha ha the main page shows only "Wife not liking the facial..." and I got here to find an entirely different question. Anyway, I've asked my hubby to try different things in terms of his facial hair and on those occasions when he's done something with it just to please me, we both end up unhappy. I guess it is a fitness test of a kind like you say. But you need to do what you like because its such a personal thing for you. Don't shave just because she wants you to. But maybe compromise with her and see if she'll be happy with you adjusting another, less personal or important (to you) part of your look.


Sorry, I skipped a lot of responses because this one made me LOL.

I asked fiance to shave because he always has facial hair. After he shaved I told him never to do it again .. Actually, he looks like an ex when he shaves and I don't want to me reminded of that train wreck when I see the love of my life lol. 

Fiance has a goatee. It is very trimmed and doesn't bother me unless he lets it grow.. Which makes him itch so it's win win...  

If you like it, try and find a way you can keep the compromise going... Although with that being said I told fiance f he ever did a total shave again I'd lose it haha, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask  (btw, i wouldn't actually lose it. hehe.)


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## Zzyzx

I'm of the opinion this is the sort of thing both spouses should be clear about before tying the knot. In my case, my stubble plus whatever there would be of my mustache and beard are very rough and I've only had one gf in my entire life who didn't mind it. So I know my market in women is limited to those who prefer clean shaven faces and I'm good with that. In the OP's case, he knew she preferred him shaven, but he married her anyway. OK he likes himself in the beard, but some things have to be sacrificed for the relationship. Take a few pictures for posterity then let it go...


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## Almostrecovered

my wife doesn't like mine either


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## whyjobya

. They will probably disagree with me on that Fitness testing thing.


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## chillymorn

do what you like.

take into consideration you had no beard before marriage and she might not be as attracted to you with one.

if your wife dyed her hair pink for breast cancer awareness and then said I like my new pink hair I think I'll keep it how would you feel or better yet what if she decided she liked the shinad occonor look(? spelling) bald shaven head. how would you feel.


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## JustaJerk

I'm not shaving till 2012. We(bros, bros-in-law, and friends) do this EVERY year for the last month.


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## HaHa

I love a little stubble, but not a fan of the beard. If my husband grew one, my kisses would drop off just because I don’t like the way they look or feel. I would hope that my husband and I could come to an compromise or agreement as there are places that I shave to please him also as well as keep my hair long because that it what he likes even though it’s a pain in the rear sometimes. It doesn’t sound like your wife is going about communicating her feelings towards you in the right way. It is her preference that she thinks you are more attractive without a beard as its your preference to keep our beard if you want, but she is making it pretty clear that there are going to be some negative side effects on your preference.


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## one_strange_otter

In response, I compromised. I took off the mustache and any hair around the lips. Then I groomed the rest of it down into a curtain style beard. Basically my lips are open for kisses and my beard only looks like it's creeping up onto my face. We will see how it goes. So far she hasn't offered any kisses. lol


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## Grayson

For the vast majority of my life, I've been clean-shaven. Following a very bad breakup, I felt the need to do SOMETHING to change my look, and was in a job that prevented anything too "extreme." So, I grew a goatee. I liked it well enough, but only kept it for about 6 months (grew it in the fall, shaved it in the spring...had a convertible at the time and didn't want to decide to get rid of it in the summer and have a super-pale area on an otherwise-tan face). Stayed clean-shaven for another 13 or so years. Then, after D-Day last year, decided to change my look again. Same deal as before, so I re-grew the goatee. Wife, reinvested in the marriage, loves it. I've had it for a little over a year this time, and it's here to stay for the foreseeable future. There were some "growing pains" as I found just the right grooming style/length to keep us both happy with it's appearance and lack of irritation when kissing, etc.

I've found that, in addition to keepin it groomed to the preferred length, keeping it conditioned/softened helps her response to it, too. About the best thing I've found to use for that purpose is Coochy, a shaving lotion designed for shaving "down there," so it's designed to soften coarse hair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## annagarret

In marriage a spouse shouldn't put physical restrictions like facial hair on a husband. For example, my husband loves long blond hair, so I have long blonde hair, but if I wanted to be a red head or brunette, he wouldn't complain. Well he might not like it, which I understand, but he would let me be free with it. I loooooooove facial hair on my husband but he sometime gets sick of it and has a clean shaven face. I dont get mad. I let him do what he wants. I guess my point is that I enjoy it when he has a beard and mustache and when he doesn't. I am going to let him do what he wants.


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## FirstYearDown

I love a goatee on my husband. The full beard looks dirty and while the stubble is sexy, it hurts like hell rubbing against my face.

I believe that spouses should try to be attractive to each other. If I don't like a certain color on my husband, he will not wear it because my hubby wants to look hot for his wife. I do the same for him. 

It is your face, but your wife is the one that has to look at you all the time.


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## Darkhorse

My husband cannot grow facial hair to save his life. lollll He tried once and it wasn't pretty. He looked like he glued some patches of hair to his face in very awkward places.

:rofl: We still laugh about it to this day. He is naturally free from most body hair. I like it that way :thumbup:


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## Darkhorse

FirstYearDown said:


> I love a goatee on my husband. The full beard looks dirty and while the stubble is sexy, it hurts like hell rubbing against my face.
> 
> I believe that spouses should try to be attractive to each other. If I don't like a certain color on my husband, he will not wear it because my hubby wants to look hot for his wife. I do the same for him.
> 
> It is your face, but your wife is the one that has to look at you all the time.


My ex had a goatee and if he didn't wash it more than once a day, it smelled. Bad. Ewww no thank you!


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## Darkhorse

one_strange_otter said:


> In response, I compromised. I took off the mustache and any hair around the lips. Then I groomed the rest of it down into a curtain style beard. Basically my lips are open for kisses and my beard only looks like it's creeping up onto my face. We will see how it goes. So far she hasn't offered any kisses. lol


Ahh going for the Amish look  :rofl:


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## one_strange_otter

Darkhorse said:


> Ahh going for the Amish look  :rofl:


You don't know how funny that is. I've been told that at least twice now in one day lol Also Irish or they call me skipper.


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## tacoma

If you were single and you found the beard was prohibiting you from getting women how long do you think it would last?

I`d offer my wife at the very least the same preferable appearance I`d offer an unknown potential date.


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## Darkhorse

one_strange_otter said:


> You don't know how funny that is. I've been told that at least twice now in one day lol Also Irish or they call me skipper.


Makes me think of Weird Al in "Amish Paradise". :rofl::rofl:


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## ryansdad

I would just shave the beard. Maybe keep it until christmas eve and then shave it after she goes 2 sleep, and on christmas morning, tell her this is 1 of your presents for her. My wife cannot stand back hair or chest hair. Luckily for her, I have taken after my moms side of the family and have a full head of hair, a little chest hair, and no back hair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## romantic_guy

Ok...I don't see the big deal here. I used to have a mustache but my wife hated kissing it. The kissing was much more important to me..so the mustache had to go!


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## Darkhorse

Especially a beard with no stash...that looks like it's creeping up your neck.

OMG!  :rofl: Not.Hot.


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