# Divorced and plans for the future



## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

Hello,

I have been pretty busy mmmm trying to be busy. It's been nearly a month since the divorce was finalized, how do I feel? Relieved. I can say that because I know now that was the best for both of us and we tried everything to make it work. Most importantly, our divorce was amicable, very I would say, that's the reason why it only took 2 months to finalize. 

Anyway, now I am in another crossroad and I guess I just need to vent and if you want to contribute be my guest. My job here is secure until December, after that I will move out of this city but first I am going overseas for 1 month, just to relax and see friends.

What would you do? I don't have any kids, my job search hasn't given any results, I am not responsibilities for anybody but myself and I am a 28 year old college grad. 

Options #1: There is a possibility that I could live overseas doing sort of internship that is not too hard and will add experience to my resume but not in my field of studies. I will live in a country that I adore for little less than a year.

Option #2: I could go full-time to grad school and graduate in a little less than 2 years, this is the most responsible choice but choice #1 attracts me more, still the responsible me battles it haha, also I know that I will need to ask for student loans because I don't want to work and go to school at the same time and that also pisses me off 

Option #3: Move to another city, take advantage of the unemployment and do my best to find a job and continue working for the rest of my life and not travel. (not really liking it either) 

I guess I already sort of decided on Option #1 but just give me your 2 cents  it just sucks that the economy sucks too. Sorry for the long post btw


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## gfl (Aug 16, 2010)

stbxhmaybe said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have been pretty busy mmmm trying to be busy. It's been nearly a month since the divorce was finalized, how do I feel? Relieved. I can say that because I know now that was the best for both of us and we tried everything to make it work. Most importantly, our divorce was amicable, very I would say, that's the reason why it only took 2 months to finalize.
> 
> ...


 if you like where youre at stay there alot of changes in youre life right now you dont need anymore Good or Bad its still a major stressor,,,grad school is OK but again more stress and not a good economy for it ...stay put figure out who you are now take some time for yourself and discovery take it slow deal with life right now...good luck


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

That's why I want to move out, I stayed in this city, which I have never loved, because of my wife. My plan was to move out of the city after graduation but she wanted to stay. Now, I am free to go wherever I want.

Thank you for your good wishes,

It's been an enlightening experience let me tell you. Never in my life I have been in such a place of willingness to open myself for self-improvement and to find peace. I used to be so proud, I thought I was a pretty good lad, but there were some issues within my personality that I thought they were there to stay. I am not that person anymore, this experience has made me more humble, it's not easy when the rug underneath is pulled and we hit rock bottom right? 

I have realized that I can improve and grow if i put my mind into it. I can say that my divorce has been the best and worst thing that has even happened to me  

Let's see what life brings me in the future. I cannot complain, I am not here to cry anymore but to comfort those early in the process as some of you comforted me 5 months ago. Life is life and I don't live with regret anymore because I took the risk, my marriage didn't last but at least I took the risk and put myself out there. It's better to go in life taking risks than full of "what ifs"


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

You have an opportunity to do something you want to do without having a negative impact on anyone else--so go for it. You have no idea what the future holds, and you may find possibilities in the year you are overseas. If not, then you can go to grad school or look for work when you return--if you return--to your home country. Don't knock working and going to school--you can take out loans, yes, but if you find a job you can do and still have energy for grad school, then consider it. Keep your options open. You never know what life will bring, and since you have no dependents, you are free to explore. Good luck!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

stbxhmaybe said:


> Life is life and I don't live with regret anymore because I took the risk, my marriage didn't last but at least I took the risk and put myself out there. It's better to go in life taking risks than full of "what ifs"


You said it best...Option#1...the other options will still be available on your return but this opportunity may not and you seem to really want to embrace it!


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