# Warning signs wife took her life 2 days ago



## storynoonewants (Aug 12, 2015)

I am choosing not to use the betrayed label, she was my wife, the love of my life and the mother of our child. we were 21 weeks into recovery from my affair, a little over 10 weeks ago we had drafted a post-nuptial agreement and after that she withdrew emotionally including requesting that I stay away at times besides my travel for work. there had been days where we appeared to be stronger then ever in our marriage, sharing, crying together and even being physical again. this past weekend she requested that I plan an excursion with our daughter, I took her to the mountains camping and got a text to drop our daughter with grandma and grandpa. upon arrival home I found she had overdosed on pills in our bed. my world is spinning with her suicide note saying she had an affair to get even 9 weeks ago where she was used and discarded. she had unprotected sex and was taken advantage of in her depressed state. her note details sliding deeper into depression as she pulled away, not sleeping nor eating much, bad dreams, mind videos while isolating herself from our daughter and I. if you cheated really watch for signs like these in your spouse. 
if your spouse withdraws or only seems hurtful do not back away
unusual behavior with mention of going away
this was planned watch for new prescriptions in the house or ask
she missed a few sessions with her therapist and she spun from there 
not saying they love you back doesn't mean you should stop saying it to them

if this post can help one person, it will be worth the tears and time to write this


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

So sorry about your wife. Please take care of yourself and take care of your daughter. 

Sometimes, even with all the warning signs there isn't much that we can do. We should always remember to say we care and love each other. 

Take care of yourself and family.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

storynoonewants said:


> I am choosing not to use the betrayed label, she was my wife, the love of my life and the mother of our child. we were 21 weeks into recovery, a little over 10 weeks ago we had drafted a post-nuptial agreement





storynoonewants said:


> my world is spinning with her suicide note saying she had an affair to get even 9 weeks ago where she was used and discarded. she had unprotected sex and was taken advantage of in her depressed state.


Can you clarify? 21 weeks into what recovery? Was the 9 week out incident her second affair? The same OM?


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Man that is so sad. I'm very sorry for your loss. 

Talk to someone... a minister, a counselor... and make sure your daughter gets a counselor immediately.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You cheated and so she then had an affair? I'm confused.


----------



## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

turnera said:


> *You cheated and so she then had an affair*? I'm confused.


This is the way I took it


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

turnera said:


> You cheated and so she then had an affair? I'm confused.





convert said:


> This is the way I took it


Ditto.

Sorry for your loss, OP.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

So sorry! Good advice.

Unbelievable loss! This could easily be in the coping with grief and loss section but I hope you get tons of support here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

So sorry. OMG...so sorry.

Prayers for you and your child.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

turnera said:


> You cheated and so she then had an affair? I'm confused.


If I am understanding his post right....I think this is the case.

They were in recovery for 21 weeks.....in her suicide note, she says she had an A 9 weeks ago to 'get even', but was basically used by the POSOM which sent her spiraling.

That and OP's final advice is basically to really watch for warning signs in your spouse 'if you cheat'


----------



## storynoonewants (Aug 12, 2015)

I cheated she wanted to get even.


----------



## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

Wow sorry for you and your daughter 

Get some help thats an awful weight to carry around you need to be strong for you daughter and she needs help too 

plan with your ic because she will want to know what happened one day if she finds out from someone else your relationship may be over


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

storynoonewants said:


> I cheated she wanted to get even.




This is so sad, OP I hope you get yourself and kids into counseling. When my wife cheated I became suicidal, actually kind of crazy. I have no doubts that I should have been committed. I did try to kill myself and the attempt failed. Feeling that low, feeling you have no hope, feeling that you can't face anyone due to your shame and humiliation, is absolutely crushing. I suspect your wife may have felt suicidal before her affair, she probably hit her lowest after her affair ended. 

My sympathies to you and your loved ones.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You are all in my prayers.

Have you told your story under another name at TAM?

It doesn't matter if you have not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

sorry for you and your daughter


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Sorry for your loss.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Very, very sorry for your loss. I think this is a valuable story for you to share. I wish your wife had possessed the emotional supports through friends and family that would have helped her overcome all of the hurt .


----------



## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

That's awful. As others mentioned, try to engage all of your support network, and immediately make moves (counseling, etc) to help your daughter and yourself. Whatever the circumstances, there is no need for more tragedy.


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

So sorry for you and your daughters loss.


----------



## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

I just want to say I am so sorry for you and your daughter's loss. Please get some professional counseling for the both of you.

Thanks for sharing your story because I think there are many people who just don't possess healthy coping skills.

Take care,


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

storynoonewants said:


> I cheated she wanted to get even.


I'm sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself and your daughter. She really needs you now.


Revenge affairs are very common. About 50% of betrayed spouses have an revenge affair. I had very strong urges to do this but did not follow through. Our minds fool us into thinking that somehow this will give us our power back. Generally it back fires.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Oh man, so sorry for what you are going through. Please get yourself some grief counselling and take care of yourself and daughter. Do you have a support network nearby?


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Sad... The _Ripple Effect_ of infidelity in marriage is beyond understanding.


----------

