# Confused...... is it time to stop or do i continue



## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

Hi,
Really would love feedbacks from everyone, i will give insights to my dilemma.
Im 28 got married four yrs back i have a four yr old son, its been a rocky road through my four years of marriage ive been cheated on so badly right in my face, he said he loved me but yet he hurt me so bad and after apologies i took him back.
now im ready and stern and strong enough for seperation and maybe divorce, his begging and saying it wont happen again this time he seems to be genuinely sorry i feel sorry for him but have the fear of getting hurt again and partially cause i dont think i can stay faithful to him anymore as out of spite i might just retaliate by also cheating on him i dont wanna be guilty of the same offence nor do i want him to hurt himself or me cause his kinda says voilent threatening things, i know i sound stupid but what do i do?


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## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

Lostchik said:


> Hi,
> Really would love feedbacks from everyone, i will give insights to my dilemma.
> Im 28 got married four yrs back i have a four yr old son, its been a rocky road through my four years of marriage ive been cheated on so badly right in my face, he said he loved me but yet he hurt me so bad and after apologies i took him back.
> now im ready and stern and strong enough for seperation and maybe divorce, his begging and saying it wont happen again this time he seems to be genuinely sorry i feel sorry for him but have the fear of getting hurt again and partially cause i dont think i can stay faithful to him anymore as out of spite i might just retaliate by also cheating on him i dont wanna be guilty of the same offence nor do i want him to hurt himself or me cause his kinda says voilent threatening things, i know i sound stupid but what do i do?


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

you ask yourself a question: is staying with him worth the time its going to take to learn how to trust him again? How far will he go to make this right because if he screwed up lots and didn't stop he will def need counseling to learn what's lacking emotionally & how to say no.
Distance yourself so you can make a good decision because we only live once and you're still young. Be sure he isn't going to be a waste - hopefully he will realize what he has. He needs to grow up and voice his needs to you rather than pull sneaky adultry BS. Adultry is often about attention but can be something that happens as a result of his past and may not have to do with you. 
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## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

lovelieswithin said:


> you ask yourself a question: is staying with him worth the time its going to take to learn how to trust him again? How far will he go to make this right because if he screwed up lots and didn't stop he will def need counseling to learn what's lacking emotionally & how to say no.
> 
> Distance yourself so you can make a good decision because we only live once and you're still young. Be sure he isn't going to be a waste - hopefully he will realize what he has. He needs to grow up and voice his needs to you rather than pull sneaky adultry BS. Adultry is often about attention but can be something that happens as a result of his past and may not have to do with you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I actually came out to tell him 2weeks ago that I didn't love him no more and that I needed space and time to. Process wht I was going through he left the house for just 2 days and said he couldn't cope alone and during the 2days he kept calling crying, threatening and trying to make me understand that he had changed and the day he returned home he forcefully had sex with me it just ragged me the more I cried a lot that night but since then his been making an effort in trying to make me happy by continuously calling and showing added affection but its just not working cause it just irritates me the more I prefer hanging out wiv my friends or staying late hours at work just to avoid having anything with him its like the past four yrs of my life I felt like a single mother and single lover didn't get affection as I needed and now all of a sudden u wanna change
The past few weeks his been so affectionate and his so demanding and expecting me to do the same like nofing happend he says I should get over the past I try to but I just can't seem to shut it out, he gets angry when I don't show him affection but I just. Can't pretend I'm a ok
My lil sis and bruv, live with us now his asked that I tell them to leave the house so we can be together and sort out house chores alone together, I love em, do I just tell them to pack and leave my house yes they could stay at my mums but it will be really inconvenient for them all
And lastly I don't love him any more enough to want to make it work, I'm trying to gather money to enable me move out, I'm just confused cause if I do there's no going back what about if he's really truly changed and I'm all alone
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## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

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## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

Lostchik said:


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People please respond
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## MrsJT (Sep 26, 2010)

Have no idea what you should do, but I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd pack up my self respect and dignity and move out with my child to any place where he is not. 

Serial cheating, threats of violence and the desire to be retaliative to cheat back? Ouch, this is not pretty. Unless you have some burning desire to end up in a body bag and to get your 2 minutes of fame on the 10 o'clock evening news....hightail out of there and think of your child.


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## Lostchik (Oct 15, 2010)

MrsJT said:


> Have no idea what you should do, but I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd pack up my self respect and dignity and move out with my child to any place where he is not.
> 
> Serial cheating, threats of violence and the desire to be retaliative to cheat back? Ouch, this is not pretty. Unless you have some burning desire to end up in a body bag and to get your 2 minutes of fame on the 10 o'clock evening news....hightail out of there and think of your child.


The threats of violence I think r just threats I don't think he would ever do anything to hurt me I think he just said those things out of anger

I guess I know what I have to do but its just such a hard decision to make how does one just pack up and leave and take my son with me without turning it into a tossel it would be easy if he wanted me to leave but I'm more his life line
I keep saying I should wait till he hurts me again......but is it really worth waiting will I just wait out for him when I don't have affections for him, I feel sorry for him cause his so sad and its my fault but at the same time my emotions of love 4 him r totally dead
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