# I want out



## wife2 (Nov 22, 2011)

I could write u a book on my marriage but i will be as brief as i can. I have been with him 15 yrs. he is my second husband. we have 1 child together and each have one from past marriage. only our child together lives with us, the others are in college. I am only 35 yrs old. 
He is an alcoholic and an addict. he was sober for 5 yrs but relaped when his dad got sick 3 yrs ago. he has since passed last year in april. one month after his dad past I lost my mother suddenly , she was my best friend. It has been a horrific road. I also take anti-depressants and anxiety meds. 
he is a very selfish person. we do not sleep together not sexually or physically. we barely talk anymore. the one person i could talk to was my best girl friend and she died of breast cancer this month on the 5th so i have literally no one to talk to about anything anymore, my dad is gone too, he died when i was 20.
I cant go into everything but he has been in trouble with the law so many times it is ridiculous. I feel like i am married to a child who refuses to grow up. a few months ago i started talking to a guy i have known for 20 yrs. we dated as teens. I took his virginity  he messaged me on fb and we clicked. It spiraled from ther, he lives 3 states away from me and went through the alcoholisim with his ex too so he left and we commiserated together. I broke up with him back then to be with my sons father , my first husband, stupid mistake. he made me fell alive, he listend to me, he cared about me and got me to do and say things i have never done with anyone. 
I told my husband i want out several times, i even told him i am not in love with him anymore but he still wont change or even try to save us. i have only stayed for my child who is almost 14. I wanted desperatly to be with this other guy but me being married is an huge issue for him so we have not went any further. in fact he cut off our relationship because we have feelings for eachother and cant act on them until i am out of this hell of a marriage, even then idk if we will be together, and i dont care at this point, i need out for my own sanity but my child does not want to leave the only home she has ever known and i feel like a horrible parent staying and horrible for leaving . I dont know what to do. and now i am nursing a broken heart on top of it. i would give anything for my husband to be to me what the other man was but he wont. He has pushed me so far out the door. I am out of tries, u cant make a marriage work by yourself.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

How do you know your child doesn't want to leave? Living with a big white elephant in the living room...aka...alchoholic and drug user, is not the best environment for your child. Been there as a kid myself. No matter how happy your kids thinks things are, this stuff messes them up. And they don't really know any different. What a stable home is, that is. 

Read up on adult children of alchoholics, to get an idea what this kind of environment is doing to your kid. 

Plus, your husband won't change until he hits rock bottom. You turning the other cheek or brushn things under the table finding excuses to stay is called enablement. 

Battery dying. I'll post more later. Remember to take care of yourself too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wife2 (Nov 22, 2011)

I HAVE talked to her about it, she sees all of it, she says she wants him to leave, she dont want to leave her home and she doesnt want to be like her friends and switch between houses, but i told her, i cant live like this either. she is too young to fully understand how badly i need out of this. he has made her cry going to school in the morning by calling me a ***** in front of her, my oldest has almost hit him because of his attitude trwad me. I do not want to play mediater between my kids and there dad cuz like i told him, THEY will win every time! 
I know all about alcoholic childhoods, i grew up in one, my mom finally left him but he hit us, alot! my husband has never laid a hand on the kids. He has smacked me before, but i have to him too. we have had some knock down drag outs, I busted his nose. He makes me someone i dont want to be, I am NOT a battered women and NEVER will be, therin lies the problem, i cant allow a man to hit me or talk to me the way he does. I fight back and this is not healthy for her to see. I just need to feel like a decent mom but i want her to feel secure as well?


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