# Complete shut down forces actions



## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

After a few disagreements and her seeing that I was talking to a few girls online out the door I went escorted. We had been seperated for 11 months out of 15 she has a right to flip, but it was no farther than a chat. I have begged for the attention and still got nothing but the mattress on the Dinning room floor for what seems two years. 

I guess some wake up depending on what they really want in life. 
I know what I wanted. But she was not on the shelf yet and I had been waiting for so long.

I am really sorry and ashamed. I wish you still had the love like you did when we met that first date. Was reading old letters of first date. Sweet nice, now its mean and angry.

I just have to let go and if it does not come back it was not meant to be. Remeber be nice.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

marshsc said:


> After a few disagreements and her seeing that I was talking to a few girls online out the door I went escorted.


I don't know the details, but you seem to minimize the issues in your marriage. It may seem like a few small things to you, but obviously to her these were pretty major issues.

Why are you ashamed?


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

Well I am ashamed but have not had any sex and was talking and they sent me a picture. Me and wife have been together 5 months out of 14. If she cares she would show I would think. I try and tell her I love her and I get rejected all the time. And now we are state seperated and she is telling me to stay here and dont come back. This is so wrong sometimes. Words kill you and they are me.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

marshsc said:


> I try and tell her I love her and I get rejected all the time.


Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and you can say the words but if you have shown less than loving actions towards her, she no longer believes the words. 

I've looked at your other posts (including 1 where I think your wife may have hacked your account)...does this accurately sum up your marriage/issues?:


You've both been laid off in the recent past
You were transferred out of state and live in a tent as temp housing
She found another job back home and now does not wish to join you in new state
You are anxious to find permanant housing or move back home before it snows
She has a teen-aged daughter living in the home/daughter's boyfriend lives there also
Teens party in the home
Wife? indicated you were physical with her on 2 occasions
This is your 3rd marriage
Wife found out you've been messaging women online/inappropriate messages/pictures
No sex with wife for months
Do not share marital bed when you go home to visit
Sent 1 child back to ex to live with her

This is quite a laundry list and seems very chaotic for both of you to even begin to sort it out, if this is accurate. Living in different states and job uncertainty is probably taking the forefront right now and neither of you probably are in the state of mind to work on the other issues in the marriage since you are both unsettled in your daily lives. Do you think she is open at all to really working to improve the marriage at this point?


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

I dought it at this point. And I have 3 kids that are away and i do not see. My Mother put the 300.000 on the house that my wife and her daughter are in along with room mates. me sitting here is ok for a bit. But i will not live here like I am told to, forever, no end in site. I will not talk to anyone and will wait till my wife is ready to talk. But we do have to talk at some point. She had male friends talking to her also in the past, work friends. But I was wrong in that part of my actions. I am borred, I call and she does not answer. Maybe in time?
I seem to be threatened with jail at everyturn by the use of a no harrasement order and that means anything I say it seems in cause to throw me out of the house my mom bought. I just know that I would never want her to leave and would only want to be with her. But the real question is when does the anger ever settle or does it. Women seem to carry this forever and men let it go. Maybe we could get a kick in the ass that would say "NO MORE CUSSING" NO MORE THREATS FROM EITHER OF U". if not then at some point we need to talk and now there is no talk. I really wish she would trade places for a few weeks in UTAH and understand my side a bit more. I do not look forward to coming home to a bed on the floor and i pray that it changes at some point. But if it does not then end it. Or go to more counciling and really work the issues. I am going here and when i am in LA. The cussing and calling name helps no situation and I am at fault at that too. I just have to be more careful as i will go to jail faster. And I could count the times I am threatened with that daily if we talk more. I was reading old e-mail when we first met and now the mail over two years and I am really shocked about what we have become. Lets say sad. If it stays like this then there is no reason to carry on unless she has some faith and hope as I always say that I do and want that.

But again I do not want to overstep my thoughts here, get in trouble. No names and anything else. Just calm and a hug and a dropping of the past. WE ARE NOT GETTING YOUNGER AND I WILL NOT LIVE IN UTAH FOREVER. If that means a new job then so be it. My Boys are there in LA and my mothers inheratence in that house. Married couples feel, we dont. Stay in UTAH Scott......now that hurts the most.


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

When I was off the plane here and she picked me up. I had a possible offer for 4 weeks in AZ in the far corner. My wifes statement was why dont you move there. SHOCKED and still understand her. She is not happy. Either am I like this. So either loose the house and all and move on or freeking repair it and work at it. But dragging this married life on seperated in UTAH and not talking and seeing each other once a month while I look for a place to live and have nothing but the tent Trailer full to use is nuts. I wont set a time line for me, but know that others in my wifes area took hits in pay to stay there and i should have also. Because like she said today, " You cant work there I have a restraining order on you". I felt like a man ontop of the world at that point, NOT!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Just my little two cents - if a woman has abandoned all responsibility for your sexual gratification, she has no right to ***** if you seek relief elsewhere. There is no more shame or guilt in exchanging sexy pictures online outside the marriage than there is in consistently rejecting the sexual needs of one's spouse. If I quit feeding my dog, it's not his fault if it ends up sniffing through the neighbor's garbage.


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

STATEMENT FOR TODAY FROM MY WIFE
You pay the Seadoo Payment like you said or I will not pay the House Payment. ( MY MOMS 300.000) Also you cant work in XXXXXX where I am as I have a restraining order on you. STAY IN UTAH MARSHSC

Hmmmmm.


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

This is what I got before I got on the plane to Home, THUR NIGHT

Stop trying to make if everthing is all better since you are coming home. RMATE is gone period. KID, KID and myself are worriedabout VMAIL on threat, on e threat, one acusationu will need to leave. One drink and I call the cops. No Sex and we will not sleep together. If you understand I will pick you up. If you don’t agree u will need to stay elsewhere.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

So she is clearly angry with you...and has a restraining order on your prior workplace, but you stay at the same house when you are in town? If she is fearful of you (which it sounds as though she is when you are drinking and upset) I would imagine these demands are to protect herself while you are there.

It is critical that you don't lose your temper around her....even if she says/does something that really angers you...leave and walk it off....you will not make any progress in talking to her if you show an angry side.


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

More of a plow than scared. Used the situation to get me out and take over.


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## marshsc (Oct 2, 2010)

Re: BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END


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