# Could Use a Woman's Perspective



## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

Hi everyone. I kind of messed things up with a girl I really liked and would like to know where I stand with her; that's where I need a woman's opinion please and thanks!

I met a girl on a roadtrip a couple of towns over. I was with some friends at a bar drinking and having a good time when I met her. We had an instant connection and spent the whole night together. I meet a lot of girls and the "connection" I felt with her was different immediately.

I got her number and when I returned home we kept in touch talking every day. Within a couple weeks, she came to my town to visit and stayed the whole weekend at my place. We spent the whole weekend doing fun things together and getting to know each other. We really hit it off and everything was great. 

For the next two weeks we talked every day via phone/text. She expressed feelings for me and told me she was really starting to like me. SHe also asked me "do you think this is gonna work, etc." I told her I really liked her too and that we should just keep doing what we're doing.

After two weeks, I went to see her in her hometown. Right before I left for my trip, I got sick with a bad eye infection. I told her about it and almost cancelled the trip, but figured I'd be better in a couple days and it would be ok. I woke up the Saturday I was leaving for the trip and it was even worse than before. Eyes red, puffy, swollen, etc. I made the trip regardless.

When I got there, I did not feel comfortable with myself. I was really self-conscious and she looked amazing. I tried to hide my discomfort but I was definately quieter and more standoffish than when I first met her. I could tell that she was thinking "what is up with this guy?" But I just tried to play it cool and didn't say anything. By the second night, things were kind of awkward between us, I was in full-on shut down mode. Was totally not myself. I finally told her that I wasn't feeling my best, etc. etc. She told me she thought "something else was going on" (keep in mind, I am 2 years divorced). I told her it wasn't her, I just wasnt feeling well. She told me to "just be myself" but at this time I was panicking because I thought I was losing her. I couldn't step out of it. 

I left the next day and didn't even kiss her goodbye, I just said "thanks" and left. things had gotten so awkward by then. I figured this girl would never talk to me again because I felt like such a loserrrrr. When I got back home, I texted her to thank her for the weekend and appologized again. She again said she though "something else was up." I told her that wasn't the case again but I'm not sure what she thought. THis was all through text. 

So the next few days, I tried to play it cool and be how I was in the beginning but she was not responding as well, long time between texts, no energy in her messages, etc. After about a week, I sent her an email telling her that I did actually like her and that I was just sick and wasn't myself. By this time, I was totally over-compensating and started getting a bit clingy. Texting too much, and just being diff than when I met her. I told her to let me know when she had time and I would call her to talk about things. She said "Ok" and then never said anything after that and didnt message me again. 

It's been 2.5 weeks with 0 contact. I realized that I was too emotional and clingy and that I needed to get myself back together. So I decided to let her go for a bit to get back on track. I'm coming out of it now and feel more like myself but don't know whether to let this thing go or to try and strike up a convo. I guess I just really can't piece together where she might be at. I KNOW she really liked me before I became all awkward and weird when I went to see her. 

So any advice, comments, experiences, etc would be great! THanks all.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Well I'm not a woman , but I will attempt an answer.

Seems to me that she has moved on , and maybe you should too.

At two and a half weeks with zero response from her, and the ball in her court, I would be very hopeful.

I think you probably spooked her when you sidelined her during that trip .
She seemed to be very much into you from an early stage , and you shut her out when things were hot and she wanted to help.

Not a good move.


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## forumman83 (Aug 12, 2012)

haha, yeah it was pretty bad. Just couldn't get myself out of it. ya, I feel like she might have moved on too but I do still have a thread of hope; like i said, we had a pretty strong connection pretty quickly and a lot of similar interests. 

weird, i posted a pic on facebook today and she "liked" it, wonder if that means anything\...

wondering if any women out there can opine?


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

She thinks you are weird. That's my opinion. 

Why should she get all ramped up again over you - you proved that you can shut down in a heartbeat without giving her a real reason.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

coffee4me said:


> She thinks you are weird. That's my opinion.
> 
> Why should she get all ramped up again over you - you proved that you can shut down in a heartbeat without giving her a real reason.


Yup.

She was all over him, all for him.
In fact , based on what he posted, she seemed to be making all the moves in the relationship.

Then he pulls that stunt.

Nope.

She thinks he's weird, and decided to head for the hills.

She comes across to me as pretty self confident and dignified.

OP, maybe she might decide to give it another try.

The facebook thing might be a sign. However , you should give her some time to recover, remember you were the one who pushed her away.
If she comes back, then try not to mess things up again.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My perspective is you should be concerned that after a couple of weeks she was already asking where the relationship was going. Both of you sound needy. And moved way too fast. If she decides to come back, slow things down.


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