# hd vs ld again



## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Just looking for advice, have been struggling with sex from my wife for years. Now she is in the nook book phase. Reads erotic books constantly and in the past has actually got her aroused. But lately all she does from the time she gets up in the morning till bed is read that nook. Biggest part of the time its outside in the chair. When I try to get something she just says I have no desire. Yes she is 49 and menopausal. I am about to lose my mind here trying to get her to come around, yes I tell her I love her and kiss her frequently but that's as far as I get, any ideas?


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

The romance novels are generally all the same plot. Naive / virginal / damaged female leads meet up (usually by chance) with the perfect man. Rich, handsome and (this is the most important part) knows everything about sex. Makes a woman climax without the woman having to do or say a thing. Makes a woman so aroused she does things she normally would not. Then they fall in love.

Of course this is a hugely removed from regular adult relationships. While men can get an unrealistic image of sex from porn - women can get the same from literature. 

Does she give you any specific reason why she has cut you off sexually? Has this gone on the entire marriage or just the last part of it?


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

She just says no desire for sex, ongoing problem for years. Its getting worse. I don't know what to do honestly.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

edbopc said:


> *She just says no desire for sex*, ongoing problem for years. Its getting worse. I don't know what to do honestly.


What about a desire to please her husband?
To give/share of herself...as your wife?

Are you sure she isn't feeling any resentment towards you.... it could be from something years ago?


Have you read 'His needs Her Needs'
It covers why men need sex in a way that many women seem to get.
But other than than it encouraged a lot of really great conversation for us.
We read it together a chapter a night. A great book IMO!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I told her I wanted the book sex starved marriage, all she said was why? I said I heard it was a good book. All she said was " why don't you just say it". She knows I am p'ed off. I suffer from ED too and I use trimix injections which do work. Honestly I feel like she has no desire for me anymore and I am afraid I am going down that thing called growing apart. All she does it sit at home and read erotic books on her nook, which is kinda like porn to me. It used to excite her , now nothing.....will look at that book too


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