# Constructive Reviews, Online Dating Profiles



## SingleInTx

So, there was a thought on another thread about sharing our online dating profiles with one another to get an objective opinion. I'm totally down- I can handle constructive criticism and I would LOVE to have some unbiased opinions on how my profile comes across to potential matches. I'd also be interested in knowing if there are certain things I'm oversharing? Not being specific/adamant enough about? If anything is completely putting people off that would otherwise contact me?

To clarify I get plenty of messages- however it's the quality of the messages that I'd like to hone, the types of people I'm attracting. I'd like to have less one-worders and people wanting to "hook up," more quality people. 

Wouldn't we all!!?  Anyway- anyone else interested? I only have a profile up on ******* right now but we could probably round up people from all of the sites that would be interested!


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## ku1980rose

I might be. However, I like the anonymity of TAM, and that would kind of ruin that.....

Maybe we could just send what we wrote under our profile?? 

Except I know that choices in pictures have a lot to do with it as well.

I get plenty of messages, too, even in a very rural area. And I get tons of one-worders and people wanting to "hook up". I don't think it's anything in my profile, just people who really don't get it.


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## Deejo

Create a Social Group if there is information you want to share without sharing it with the entire forum.


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## ku1980rose

Deejo said:


> Create a Social Group if there is information you want to share without sharing it with the entire forum.


I like that idea! How do you do that? I've never been involved in any of those on here.


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## EnjoliWoman

I wouldn't mind copy/pasting my profile verbiage for others to chime in on. If a social group is created, count me in.


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## Pbartender

I only had one online profile, and I scrapped that one, when I realized I was having better luck and more fun getting out and meeting people face to face.

However, I'd still be curious to join in on this... Just to see what people come up with and what people like and don't like.


Pb.


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## ku1980rose

Pbartender said:


> I only had one online profile, and I scrapped that one, when I realized I was having better luck and more fun getting out and meeting people face to face.
> 
> However, I'd still be curious to join in on this... Just to see what people come up with and what people like and don't like.
> 
> 
> Pb.


You could give ideas and tell your opinion about a profile without having your own to share.


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## brokendown77

Having just started looking at dating sites I'd be more than happy to review any profiles and offer up some suggestions. If anyone is interested you can just PM me so you don't have to share it on here.


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## Deejo

ku1980rose said:


> I like that idea! How do you do that? I've never been involved in any of those on here.


If you go to UserCP (your TAM account basically), Social Groups will appear on the left.

Click on it, you will see existing groups. If you scroll down, you can create a group.

In your case you would want to select 'Invite Only' and invite other participants, else the group would be public and anyone could see the posts.


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## Freak On a Leash

Pbartender said:


> I only had one online profile, and I scrapped that one, when I realized I was having better luck and more fun getting out and meeting people face to face.
> 
> However, I'd still be curious to join in on this... Just to see what people come up with and what people like and don't like.
> 
> 
> Pb.


As a truly neutral person who has no interest in doing online dating and has never done it if you want my input I'd be glad to give it, in my usual honest and blunt manner.


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## EnjoliWoman

OK - here is mine. 

My tag line - whatever that first line is that is supposed to catch their attention is: "Canvas to 5-star; milk to grey goose, comics to CNN, alone or a crowd, I'm happy."
My general profile description is:


Relationship: Divorced 
Have kids: Yes, they sometimes live at home (1)
Want kids: No, but it's OK if my partner has kids 
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian 
Body type:A few extra pounds 
Height: 5'7" (170cms) 
Faith: Spiritual but not religious 
Smoke: No Way 
Drink: Social Drinker 

And the "about me" part:

Because I'm so laid back, I enjoy most anything. It really mostly depends on the company as to whether I enjoy myself or not. I think attitude is everything, and mine is a positive one. I'm looking for someone who enjoys a little bit of everything, not too obsessive about any one thing. Some perceive this as being a bit too pollyanna but I'm focused where I need to be so why not let the current take me the rest of the time?

A wild night on the town can be fun, but every night gets old. (I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River. Not for long, but I have!) I love to cook but enjoy a great restaurant. If I can make it better I'd rather eat at home and sip a glass of wine while cooking and having good conversation with YOU. Sporting events are cool - I can follow along most of the time (not always!) but I love the pumped up atmosphere of tailgating. And as a Panther's fan, I'm just glad when they score anymore. I've given up on winning. 

I enjoy big family gatherings because mine is so small. I like big groups of laughing friends; people who can laugh at themselves, but intimate evenings alone getting close can be just perfect, too. I love to entertain. Having a crowd over for something as casual as a cookout to well organized fondue night for 8 or a ****tail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.

I have goals and ambitions but know when to stop and smell the roses and am looking for someone the same. Ambition is good, but workoholic is not. I love my job but except for occasional travel I don't have to work past 5pm very often. 

I am loyal and caring with a soft heart. I organize a charitable drive for a needy family every holiday season. I have a great smile (hope you agree) and use it a lot! I empathize with people easily and feel their pain but also believe in tough love.

I like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to.

I'd love to travel all over the world and sometimes a 5-star hotel is nice, other times mingling with the locals so I get the feel for their culture would be cool. I draw the line at eating bugs, things with heads or whole. You get the idea. ,

I'm sort of a guy's girl... I have just as much fun with the guys as I do with my girlfriends. I know how to use power tools thanks to Dad and some volunteering with Habitat for Humanity (sheet rock and siding - yay), shoot a gun (apparently that scares some match members!), cast a line and change a tire, but I can also sew, sketch and cook. I don't mind getting dirty, but I also like getting dressed up in heels and pretty things and still appreciate (and thank) when doors are opened, umbrellas are held, etc.

I have a 14 year old daughter that keeps me young (she lives with me primarily) and keeps me moving with her activities.




Interests: 
Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Performing arts, Playing cards, Travel/Sightseeing, Wine tasting
Sports and exercise: edit
Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Skiing, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
Exercise habits: edit
Exercise 3-4 times per week
Pets: edit
I have Cats, Dogs
I have a l calico cat who eradicates my yard from moles. And lizards. My lab passed the day before Thanksgiving 2012. I'm not sure I should commit to another dog until I see how much travel is required of me this year.
Political views: 
Middle of the Road
Sign: 
Aries
College: 
Listed but removed for privacy on TAM
For Fun:
I am very versatile. I like camping or going to a 5-star resort. I enjoy the occasional hike, bicycle ride, good restaurants, good drink, movies, snow skiing. Love animals. Like all kinds of music and interesting conversation, people and places.
Favorite Hot Spots:
I have an assortment of day-trip destinations as well as dives and upscale destinations - removed for privacy on TAM
Favorite Things:
Italian food, good wine, being outdoors. If it's cold/rainy, a fire and a book or have friends, drinks and laughs. Happy in jeans/boots or dresses/heels. I like classic rocknroll or mellow mood music. Good coffee in my robe.
Last Read:
Just finished Lone Wolf. Subscribe to Reader's Digest and TIME.


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## NoWhere

Profile suggest #1

"_I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River_ and now he won't quit calling me night and day"


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## EnjoliWoman

NoWhere said:


> Profile suggest #1
> 
> "_I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River_ and now he won't quit calling me night and day"


I was just trying to show I can be fun and adventurous and willing to look silly. 

Since I haven't been contacted a lot, I don't think that line has that effect. 

Nothing else?


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## NoWhere

I was just picking with you. Actually I like that you put that in there. It shows you don't care what people think or aren't worried about embarrassing yourself falling off. Adventurous and fun to be around. I think your profile is fine. Your profile seems more adventurous then mine does. lol


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## brokendown77

EnjoliWoman said:


> OK - here is mine.
> 
> My username is "Multi-Faceted"
> My tag line - whatever that first line is that is supposed to catch their attention is: "Canvas to 5-star; milk to grey goose, comics to CNN, alone or a crowd, I'm happy."
> My general profile description is:
> 
> 
> Relationship: Divorced
> Have kids: Yes, they sometimes live at home (1)
> Want kids: No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
> Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
> Body type:A few extra pounds
> Height: 5'7" (170cms)
> Faith: Spiritual but not religious
> Smoke: No Way
> Drink: Social Drinker
> 
> And the "about me" part:
> 
> Because I'm so laid back, I enjoy most anything. It really mostly depends on the company as to whether I enjoy myself or not. I think attitude is everything, and mine is a positive one. I'm looking for someone who enjoys a little bit of everything, not too obsessive about any one thing. Some perceive this as being a bit too pollyanna but I'm focused where I need to be so why not let the current take me the rest of the time?
> 
> A wild night on the town can be fun, but every night gets old. (I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River. Not for long, but I have!) I love to cook but enjoy a great restaurant. If I can make it better I'd rather eat at home and sip a glass of wine while cooking and having good conversation with YOU. Sporting events are cool - I can follow along most of the time (not always!) but I love the pumped up atmosphere of tailgating. And as a Panther's fan, I'm just glad when they score anymore. I've given up on winning.
> 
> *I* enjoy big family gatherings because mine is so small. I like big groups of laughing friends; people who can laugh at themselves, but intimate evenings alone getting close can be just perfect, too. I love to entertain. Having a crowd over for something as casual as a cookout to well organized fondue night for 8 or a ****tail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.
> 
> *I* have goals and ambitions but know when to stop and smell the roses and am looking for someone the same. Ambition is good, but workoholic is not. I love my job but except for occasional travel I don't have to work past 5pm very often.
> 
> *I* am loyal and caring with a soft heart. I organize a charitable drive for a needy family every holiday season. I have a great smile (hope you agree) and use it a lot! I empathize with people easily and feel their pain but also believe in tough love.
> 
> *I* like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to.
> 
> *I*'d love to travel all over the world and sometimes a 5-star hotel is nice, other times mingling with the locals so I get the feel for their culture would be cool. I draw the line at eating bugs, things with heads or whole. You get the idea. ,
> 
> *I*'m sort of a guy's girl... I have just as much fun with the guys as I do with my girlfriends. I know how to use power tools thanks to Dad and some volunteering with Habitat for Humanity (sheet rock and siding - yay), shoot a gun (apparently that scares some match members!), cast a line and change a tire, but I can also sew, sketch and cook. I don't mind getting dirty, but I also like getting dressed up in heels and pretty things and still appreciate (and thank) when doors are opened, umbrellas are held, etc.
> 
> *I* have a 14 year old daughter that keeps me young (she lives with me primarily) and keeps me moving with her activities.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Interests:
> Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Performing arts, Playing cards, Travel/Sightseeing, Wine tasting
> Sports and exercise: edit
> Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Skiing, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
> Exercise habits: edit
> Exercise 3-4 times per week
> Pets: edit
> I have Cats, Dogs
> I have a l calico cat who eradicates my yard from moles. And lizards. My lab passed the day before Thanksgiving 2012. I'm not sure I should commit to another dog until I see how much travel is required of me this year.
> Political views:
> Middle of the Road
> Sign:
> Aries
> College:
> Listed but removed for privacy on TAM
> For Fun:
> I am very versatile. I like camping or going to a 5-star resort. I enjoy the occasional hike, bicycle ride, good restaurants, good drink, movies, snow skiing. Love animals. Like all kinds of music and interesting conversation, people and places.
> Favorite Hot Spots:
> I have an assortment of day-trip destinations as well as dives and upscale destinations - removed for privacy on TAM
> Favorite Things:
> Italian food, good wine, being outdoors. If it's cold/rainy, a fire and a book or have friends, drinks and laughs. Happy in jeans/boots or dresses/heels. I like classic rocknroll or mellow mood music. Good coffee in my robe.
> Last Read:
> Just finished Lone Wolf. Subscribe to Reader's Digest and TIME.


Alright, I'll give you my opinion, I'll be as polite as possible, so if I offend you its not my intention! So one thing I would change about your profile is the length of it. Maybe its just me, but if I see a lengthy profile my eyes kinda glaze over and I don't really read everything. Think of it as a house listing. The info and pics are to get you interested in seeing the house in person right? If you take a picture of every single thing and put a ton of detail in the description, what is the point of going to see the house in person? There's just too much detail for my taste, but I could be wrong. I prefer a short and sweet description to get me interested so I can start a conversation, then go further into detail.

Another thing is maybe go into more detail about who you are looking for. Besides that line that says you are looking for someone to challenge you, there isn't much else that says who you are looking. I understand you have a daughter and she is important to you, but I might leave details about her out too since any potential dates won't even be meeting her until things get serious (I'd assume). I did bold your paragraphs that start with "I", cut those down a bit and talk about who you are looking for and I think you'll get more interest from higher quality men.

Sorry if I was too critical at all, but it looks good other than the stuff I mentioned, its just a little long. You seem pretty cool regardless so I doubt you'll be single for long!


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## Deejo

So ... What is your goal with dating? Are you looking to cast a wide net and meet lots of people or are you focused on a very specific set of qualities.

I can tell you out of the gate that about 70% of the dating population isn't going to read your profile, and its obvious you put some work into it. 

If you want the potential of lots of dates, therefore possibly lots of dregs, you need to bring it down to 3 paragraphs max.

If you are looking for someone more discerning, that will indicate they actually read it, the length is ok. Will focus on content later.

We need Homemaker Numero Uno in this thread. She is really good at profile review.


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## Acorn

EnjoliWoman said:


> OK - here is mine.
> 
> My username is "Multi-Faceted"
> My tag line - whatever that first line is that is supposed to catch their attention is: "Canvas to 5-star; milk to grey goose, comics to CNN, alone or a crowd, I'm happy."
> My general profile description is:


I will tell you that my favorite part of the post was:

"I like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to."

Hopefully taken constructively, there was a lot in your post that spoke to how laid back you were - I cook but I like restaurants, etc. - but the paragraph above really defined you to me more than anything else because it makes you different and tells me what you are really about and what you are really looking for out of life.


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## NoWhere

Feel free to PM your profiles to me if you like. I'm not very judgmental and its not like its not already out on the net for everyone to see. lol.
But I guess since many here have already revealed much more of their inner selves here on TAM they might be shy about showing their faces as well.


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## ku1980rose

brokendown77 said:


> Alright, I'll give you my opinion, I'll be as polite as possible, so if I offend you its not my intention! So one thing I would change about your profile is the length of it. Maybe its just me, but if I see a lengthy profile my eyes kinda glaze over and I don't really read everything. Think of it as a house listing. The info and pics are to get you interested in seeing the house in person right? If you take a picture of every single thing and put a ton of detail in the description, what is the point of going to see the house in person? There's just too much detail for my taste, but I could be wrong. I prefer a short and sweet description to get me interested so I can start a conversation, then go further into detail.
> 
> Another thing is maybe go into more detail about who you are looking for. Besides that line that says you are looking for someone to challenge you, there isn't much else that says who you are looking. I understand you have a daughter and she is important to you, but I might leave details about her out too since any potential dates won't even be meeting her until things get serious (I'd assume). I did bold your paragraphs that start with "I", cut those down a bit and talk about who you are looking for and I think you'll get more interest from higher quality men.
> 
> Sorry if I was too critical at all, but it looks good other than the stuff I mentioned, its just a little long. You seem pretty cool regardless so I doubt you'll be single for long!



Do you think that length of a profile turns guys away more than women? I can't stand the short, one-line profiles that guys put on dating websites. When a guy actually writes something, I stop and read. But, I feel like most guys are turned away if they have to read a bunch on mine.

Or maybe it's just me!


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## ku1980rose

I think the pictures you choose tells almost as much about yourself as the actual words on your profile. It's the first thing people see. I don't see myself as "shallow", but I skip profiles because of pictures a lot. 

What kinds of pictures do you have on there?


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## NoWhere

I get turned away at really short profiles. I personally read all the long ones and appreciate them because a lot of times it will provide enough info to know if I'm compatible. There are so many people on match it would be almost impossible to go around meeting them all so its nice to be able to weed out ones you know won't fit.



ku1980rose said:


> I think the pictures you choose tells almost as much about yourself as the actual words on your profile. It's the first thing people see. I don't see myself as "shallow", but I skip profiles because of pictures a lot.
> 
> What kinds of pictures do you have on there?


See I suck at choosing pictures. I have no idea what pictures women would find attractive. Plus I'm one of those who doesn't like his own pictures very much.


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## ku1980rose

NoWhere said:


> I get turned away at really short profiles. I personally read all the long ones and appreciate them because a lot of times it will provide enough info to know if I'm compatible. There are so many people on match it would be almost impossible to go around meeting them all so its nice to be able to weed out ones you know won't fit.
> 
> 
> See I suck at choosing pictures. I have no idea what pictures women would find attractive. Plus I'm one of those who doesn't like his own pictures very much.


I don't like pictures of guys not smiling. They might want to look tough, but they just look angry or mean.

Don't like pictures of guys showing off their tattoos.

I don't like pics of guys on their motorcycles or riding their dirtbikes, but that's probably because those are not my interests. If that's a big part of their lives, then it's probably good they show that.

I also HATE pictures of guys with a hot girl. If it's your sister, then say that. Otherwise, it just looks weird that you are looking for a date, but posting pictures of yourself with hot girls.

Also don't think guys need to post pics of themselves with beer in their hands. Unless they want to be seen as a party animal.

I like to see pictures of guys smiling and having a good time. Maybe a picture out with friends or at a ballgame. Doing something you enjoy. Pictures with your dogs. A few different views. A face shot and a full body shot. At least 3 pictures is good. One picture that is just a face shot doesn't tell much.


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## NoWhere

I need a body shot I guess. I mainly just have pictures of my face. Its hard to take a good body shot by yourself. lol. 

But I don't have any bad pictures like you described so I guess I'm good there.


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## NoWhere

ku1980rose said:


> I don't like pictures of guys not smiling. They might want to look tough, but they just look angry or mean.
> 
> Don't like pictures of guys showing off their tattoos.
> 
> I don't like pics of guys on their motorcycles or riding their dirtbikes, but that's probably because those are not my interests. If that's a big part of their lives, then it's probably good they show that.
> 
> I also HATE pictures of guys with a hot girl. If it's your sister, then say that. Otherwise, it just looks weird that you are looking for a date, but posting pictures of yourself with hot girls.
> 
> Also don't think guys need to post pics of themselves with beer in their hands. Unless they want to be seen as a party animal.
> 
> I like to see pictures of guys smiling and having a good time. Maybe a picture out with friends or at a ballgame. Doing something you enjoy. Pictures with your dogs. A few different views. A face shot and a full body shot. At least 3 pictures is good. One picture that is just a face shot doesn't tell much.


What about a pic of me holding a beer, showing off a tattoo on a dirtbike next to my ex hot wife looking angry. Bad idea?


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## ku1980rose

NoWhere said:


> What about a pic of me holding a beer, showing off a tattoo on a dirtbike next to my ex hot wife looking angry. Bad idea?


:rofl:


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## Freak On a Leash

Ok Enjoli, you've convinced me. I'll go out with you. You sound like fun! :smthumbup:

I would say that keeping things short and sweet probably would serve you better in the end. Personally that whole part in the middle could probably go and I'd still be interested enough to contact you and want to know more. 

Of course I'm the one the writes the book-long posts so who am I to judge?


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## EnjoliWoman

brokendown77 said:


> Maybe its just me, but if I see a lengthy profile my eyes kinda glaze over and I don't really read everything. I prefer a short and sweet description to get me interested so I can start a conversation, then go further into detail.
> 
> Another thing is maybe go into more detail about who you are looking for. Besides that line that says you are looking for someone to challenge you, there isn't much else that says who you are looking. I understand you have a daughter and she is important to you, but I might leave details about her out too since any potential dates won't even be meeting her until things get serious (I'd assume). I did bold your paragraphs that start with "I", cut those down a bit and talk about who you are looking for and I think you'll get more interest from higher quality men.
> 
> Sorry if I was too critical at all, but it looks good other than the stuff I mentioned, its just a little long. You seem pretty cool regardless so I doubt you'll be single for long!


Hm. I get the "I" thing - it's an important thing to remember in resumes, I've read. The info top and bottom are areas that had to be filled in so you're saying that in the middle is too much? I don't feel like I say a LOT about my daughter but that's too much? I want to strike the balance... thanks for feedback.



Deejo said:


> So ... What is your goal with dating? Are you looking to cast a wide net and meet lots of people or are you focused on a very specific set of qualities.
> 
> I can tell you out of the gate that about 70% of the dating population isn't going to read your profile, and its obvious you put some work into it.
> 
> If you want the potential of lots of dates, therefore possibly lots of dregs, you need to bring it down to 3 paragraphs max.
> 
> If you are looking for someone more discerning, that will indicate they actually read it, the length is ok. Will focus on content later.
> 
> We need Homemaker Numero Uno in this thread. She is really good at profile review.


I'm looking for a LTR and eventually remarriage or a permanent committed relationship/living together situation (if he's just totally gun shy). I do want someone more discerning. So are YOU discerning and would that be too much info?



Acorn said:


> I will tell you that my favorite part of the post was:
> 
> "I like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to."
> 
> Hopefully taken constructively, there was a lot in your post that spoke to how laid back you were - I cook but I like restaurants, etc. - but the paragraph above really defined you to me more than anything else because it makes you different and tells me what you are really about and what you are really looking for out of life.


I read that I needed to give examples of the character traits I say I have so that's why the examples. Good to know that paragraph is a keeper. They need to know I may be fluffy but I'm no couch potato.



ku1980rose said:


> I think the pictures you choose tells almost as much about yourself as the actual words on your profile. It's the first thing people see. I don't see myself as "shallow", but I skip profiles because of pictures a lot.
> 
> What kinds of pictures do you have on there?


I have a full body of my sitting with my Australian shepherd (not deceased), I have a full body of me in my "Flo from Progressive" Halloween costume. I have two face shots and another Halloween photo where I'm wearing a fruit hat - I'm Carmen Miranda. Oh and me and three girlfriends in front of the Bellagio in Vegas - their faces greyed out and from hip area up (vs. full body). 

Living alone I don't get many photos taken of me and I don't want to ask my daughter to take pics of me for match.


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## ku1980rose

EnjoliWoman said:


> I have a full body of my sitting with my Australian shepherd (not deceased), I have a full body of me in my "Flo from Progressive" Halloween costume. I have two face shots and another Halloween photo where I'm wearing a fruit hat - I'm Carmen Miranda. Oh and me and three girlfriends in front of the Bellagio in Vegas - their faces greyed out and from hip area up (vs. full body).
> 
> Living alone I don't get many photos taken of me and I don't want to ask my daughter to take pics of me for match.


I think your pics sound great! Show different views of you and that you have fun!

I like your profile, but I also think it's a little long. However, I wish I could write like you and make my profile a little more interesting. 

I'd post it on here, but after reading yours I'm a little gun shy.


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## NoWhere

EnjoliWoman said:


> I have a full body of my sitting with my Australian shepherd (not deceased), I have a full body of me in my "Flo from Progressive" Halloween costume. I have two face shots and another Halloween photo where I'm wearing a fruit hat - I'm Carmen Miranda. Oh and me and three girlfriends in front of the Bellagio in Vegas - their faces greyed out and from hip area up (vs. full body).
> 
> Living alone I don't get many photos taken of me and I don't want to ask my daughter to take pics of me for match.


 Those pictures sound hot 

I have the same problem taking pictures of myself. Its not easy to get a full body shot.



ku1980rose said:


> I'd post it on here, but after reading yours I'm a little gun shy.


I'm sure its not that bad. You could always PM it to her or me. Everyone is a little self conscious about what they wrote. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable posting mine here. I'd PM mine if you PM yours. lol.


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## Pbartender

I'm tempted to create "Pbar's Online Dating Profile: The Musical."

A "joke" profile that consists of nothing but appropriately and carefully chosen song lyrics.


Pb.


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## COguy

EW, you forgot to write that you enjoy Contra Dancing 

I'm a little biased after my brief (4 weeks) online social experiment.

I found that all the profiles kind of sound the same. Apparently everyone that dates online is an exciting, adventurous, dancing, hiking, painting, music enjoying life of the party type.

Profile's kind of run together because no one is going to admit that they actually work all day and then come home and sit on their ass all night surfing the internet for dates.

Please note I'm not value judging anyone that puts up a profile at all. Just that it is near impossible to weed out people that are actually interesting and adventurous from those that are boring losers. I know this because my profile looks like the profile of every other man, and yet when I tell people my schedule and what I do for fun, they act as if I am the world's craziest and most interesting person.

So I was reading about profile's and came across this information. And I thought it was extraordinarily good advice for building a profile. It's geared towards men but don't see why the principle wouldn't work for women too.

Online Dating Profile Examples for Men | Qualify Her | The London School of Attraction

Here is a link to a bunch of other short but powerful columns:

Online Dating | The London School of Attraction

Basically everyone is trying to sell themself on a profile. What differentiates is when you stop trying to sell yourself and start trying to qualify the opposite sex. They'll instantly go from trying to see if you're worth it to wanting to ensure they make the cut. It's like a sick aspect of human psychology that you use in your favor.


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## ku1980rose

I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

:rofl:


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## NoWhere

There are a lot of profiles that do seem the same, but I can easily weed out ones who like to do things I really don't care to do or vice versa. Unlike that first link posted I don't see writing things you enjoy doing as 'selling yourself short' or 'setting up the framework that you need to prove yourself to her'. How does saying I like to go to antique auctions or go kayaking mean I'm trying to 'prove' myself to a women? I'm not saying those things to boast that I go kayaking only that I enjoy it. Any women who would read that in the context of: 'Hey look how great I am I kayak!'. Is not the kind of women I want to begin with. I want the more sane one that goes 'Hey I like kayaking too!'

Plus what is written and how the profile comes across does give some insight into the person writing it. Even simple things like misspellings. I choose to just be myself. I never could stand trying to overly manipulate my own words based off someone else's suggestions or templates to attract someone. I want to attract someone who likes me for me. If you aren't yourself and over manipulate your profile your just going to attract people that don't match up with you. 

As far as the suggestion to 'Make a set of criteria that you’re looking for in a date' instead. Everyone pretty much does that anyway and it doesn't always come off that good. Like the example that the article listed "Looking for a girl who is very relaxed; who thinks a lot about the world around her and isn’t just living a life she feels she should" That's almost as bad as saying "Looking for someone who doesn't like drama" or is "cool"

Just my opinion.


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## EnjoliWoman

Sorry, COguy - I wrote that before our Contra dancing experiment! 

However it IS a good example of being willing to try stuff just for the fun of it.

I see so many profiles I can almost lump them into categories that they focus on:

Adore God and my children (barrel of laughs - you know you'll come in 3rd - if you're lucky. Kids are great but it should sort of be assumed they are high in your list of priorities. Spelling it out sounds a bit righteous.)
Adrenaline Junky (he's SOOOOO exciting you MUST want to be in his inner circle! Everything in his life is high speed and over the top exciting)
Sophisticated (must show off all of his travel and includes photos in Armani suits and Italian leather shoes - usually includes photos of hot women to let you know you must also be hot to fit in)
Strong Silent Type (2 lines of "about me" includes at least one spelling or grammatical error - his interests are sports, movies and cuddling = couch potato)
The Loser (he practically BEGS you to love him in his profile, saying how he'll treat you like a queen, looking for soul mate, etc. - can we say NEEDY?)
Average Dude - he's the best. He is reasonable, responsible, kind, fun and well balanced when it comes to work, home life and sense of self. He has about 10% of each of the above types in him.

I bet the women are the same, LOL except the hot high-maintenance one is crazy and the nerdy one has 5 cats.


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## NoWhere

I think you just wrote off 99% of people on Match.com and 90% of the subjects people put on their profile. I think I'll just change mine to "I'm lazy, hate working and like women, drinking and sex" and see what happens. lol.

I have thought about just making my profile a joke one just for grins. Don't really care what others think. I know it would crack me up.


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## ku1980rose

EnjoliWoman said:


> Sorry, COguy - I wrote that before our Contra dancing experiment!
> 
> However it IS a good example of being willing to try stuff just for the fun of it.
> 
> I see so many profiles I can almost lump them into categories that they focus on:
> 
> Adore God and my children (barrel of laughs - you know you'll come in 3rd - if you're lucky. Kids are great but it should sort of be assumed they are high in your list of priorities. Spelling it out sounds a bit righteous.)
> Adrenaline Junky (he's SOOOOO exciting you MUST want to be in his inner circle! Everything in his life is high speed and over the top exciting)
> Sophisticated (must show off all of his travel and includes photos in Armani suits and Italian leather shoes - usually includes photos of hot women to let you know you must also be hot to fit in)
> Strong Silent Type (2 lines of "about me" includes at least one spelling or grammatical error - his interests are sports, movies and cuddling = couch potato)
> The Loser (he practically BEGS you to love him in his profile, saying how he'll treat you like a queen, looking for soul mate, etc. - can we say NEEDY?)
> Average Dude - he's the best. He is reasonable, responsible, kind, fun and well balanced when it comes to work, home life and sense of self. He has about 10% of each of the above types in him.
> 
> I bet the women are the same, LOL except the hot high-maintenance one is crazy and the nerdy one has 5 cats.


The ones that drive me nuts are the ones who say, "No Drama" or tell you in their profile that they're sick of drama because their ex cheated on them too many times.

And my personal turn off? Writing a complete paragraph with no punctuation or capital letters. Real intelligent.


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## EnjoliWoman

NoWhere said:


> I think you just wrote off 99% of people on Match.com and 90% of the subjects people put on their profile. I think I'll just change mine to "I'm lazy, hate working and like women, drinking and sex" and see what happens. lol.
> 
> I have thought about just making my profile a joke one just for grins. Don't really care what others think. I know it would crack me up.


I didn't say that those traits by themselves were turn-offs - it's when they define who they are vs. being a facet of them. I like movies and cuddling, too who doesn't? But if he has to spell that out, it makes me think that's ALL he likes to do which tells me I won't be able to get him off the couch to take a walk with the dog because he's really into whatever is on. DVR it!

So it doesn't rule out everyone. Just the extremes. As I said the best is the regular guy. He's the one I'm looking for.


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## NoWhere

LOL. I was only joking. Basically what you said about women saying adore god and my children come first, or 'no drama' is like 90% of the profiles I've seen, but I get what you are saying. 

The regular guy is probably about 10% of the men on there. So you got a lot of filtering to do.


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## COguy

It was annoying for me to write a profile. I actually enjoy going out and doing things like backpacking and dancing and painting. I actually do them regularly. I actually enjoy life and just having fun with anything that comes along.

I write all that down, because I think in the real world I'm a pretty unique person...and then when I'm done, I notice that my profile looks like almost every other one around. Bob the wife beating couch potato also likes to cook and backpack! So does Jim the computer nerd! Oh and Cindy the fatass cat lady Kayaks too! And everyone jogs!

Why I will never get worked up about anyone online unless I meet them in person. I went on 6 dates, the ones that I thought would work out best were the worst. The least good looking online were the best looking in real life. The ones that looked the most boring were actually the most interesting. The girl that appeared perfect was extremely shy and dull. The girl that I ended up liking the most I almost didn't ask out because I thought it wouldn't work.

If I ever do it again, which I probably won't, I am just going to have fun with my profile and come up with odd ways to meet. "We're meeting at Chuck E Cheese for chili fries." "We're going to the park to jump rope in the grass." "We're playing pickle ball" "Cottage cheese eating contest at the grocery store coffee bar"


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## NoWhere

ku1980rose said:


> And my personal turn off? Writing a complete paragraph with no punctuation or capital letters. Real intelligent.


 Here's my profile:

"i wood like too find girl to dayte email me if you ar interrested.im reelly smart fun guy"
"oh and no drama please"

Wanna go out sometime? :smthumbup:


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Okay, I'll give it a shot. My profile to what you see below in BLACK (Red was inserted by the dating site). Before I *BOLDED* the part near the bottom, I was getting bunches of replies from guys I didn't want to date (looking for my last first date, soulmate, etc.). Since I have bolded, I have ONLY gotten ONE response at all, but he was the KIND of guy I'm interested in. I'd prefer THIS to tons of mail from guys I'm not interested in.

Please give me your HONEST opinion on how I could improve this.

Thanks, SGW!

* * * * * * * * * * * 

[UserName]: Are you witty and easy-going?

[UserName] isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment

Interests:

good food 
learning French 
sporting events 
reading mysteries and classic Amer/Brit literature 
Art Museums

About Me: 
Am looking for people who are ACTIVE, fun, intelligent, witty, well-read, interested in everyone/everything and interesting in turn! Looking to connect with people who want to share their hobbies, passions, interests with me and are willing to explore new interests as well. 

I have wide-ranging interests and the enthusiasm, time and health to pursue them. If you can teach me to shoot pool, or shoot guns, that sounds great! If you can teach me to windsurf or want to learn WITH ME, even better!

*I am not looking for a long-term relationship, neither am I looking for a hook-up! If you want to hang out and do something fun, drop me a line.*




To send a message to [UserName] you MUST meet the following criteria:
Male 
Younger than 70
Live in United States 
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex. 
You must have a picture to contact this user. 
Must not be looking for Long-term
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Must not smoke


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## NoWhere

So your just trying to meet friends correct? Too bad you don't live near me. I'm up for learning french.


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## COguy

OK SGW did what the article mentioned, she qualified people rather than just mentioning about her. And it totally worked, because I read her profile and thought, "who is this girl and I would love to hang out with her!"

PS after reading the bolded part, I would TOTALLY message you. That is exactly what I am looking for. Not casual sex, but not to get married.

I wouldn't change a gosh darn thing about your profile.

PPS Meet me at the chuck e cheese for chili fries?


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## NoWhere

I'd say by leaving out long term relationship you immediately disqualify a lot of good people. Just because someone says long term doesn't mean they want to get married. Someone seeking a monogamous relationship might choose long term. I mean who is looking for a short term relationship? I got the impression she was just looking for a friend to hang out with.

Plus everyone is looking for someone intelligent, fun, interesting etc. That's just the polar opposite of saying 'no drama'. As if its not stated your looking for someone dumb, boring, uninteresting. Etc. Which is the same thing many here complained about. 

Not saying anything is wrong with it. Its nice and short and to the point and say's what she is looking for. I prefer the parts that are specific to things she wants to learn and do.


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## COguy

Not looking for long term as in "not looking to get married and or get especially serious"

as in "I still want a life but am looking to have fun with other people"

It's a tough mix to find as a woman though because most guys that aren't looking for a long-term relationship are looking to casually bang as many chicks as possible.


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## NoWhere

Again: someone looking for a monogamous relationship or just looking for a relationship and has no idea how long it will last may choose long term. She immediately eliminates herself ever meeting these guys. Many of which are great guys compared to someone who is looking to have multiple relationships at the same time. You can say your not looking to get serious and still date someone like that. Who knows he may be such a great person she might change her mind. 



> It's a tough mix to find as a woman though because most guys that aren't looking for a long-term relationship are looking to casually bang as many chicks as possible.


Exactly my point.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

*NoWhere:*
yes, just looking for friends (am still legally married to my STBXH).
I'm learning French at meetup.com meetings every Wed. night; try them out! 

I am perfectly satisfied at the idea of a short-term relationship (2 months to 2 years). I'm still working on ME!

I have SPECIFICALLY EXCLUDED long-term and, probably because of my age (56yo), am still getting TONS of the 60+ yo guys who want to settle down in their retirement with the little woman. Yeah, that is SO NOT ME at this point! I don't want to be MEAN to these guys, I feel for them, but that's WHOM I am attracting (that, and 20 somethings looking to bang a 'desperate older woman' I guess). If you've seen my pic ('new photo of you' thread), I LOOK EXTREMELY young for my age. I also have a 15yo daughter. So, settling in with a guy who looks like my grandpa is NOT doing it for me. And I don't want to come off as a bytch, but really....I'm more like a 40-something than mid-50s. My age (which I don't want to lie about because I HATE being lied to myself) is really kind of eliminating me from the kind of guys I'd be interested in doing stuff with because they see 56yo and think OLD LADY.

I'm thinking I might be better off NOT ON DATING SITES, but in the "real world" where my age would not come up for a while. For now, I've taken to contacting men whom I think might be appropriate and hoping my pic and profile will convince them I'm not half-dead like many people seem to think.


*COGuy:*
Thank you. Of course I would TOTALLY meet you at Chuck E. Cheese's....I'll be the one acting very immaturely!



Okay, I'll be TOTALLY BLUNT. If this comes off as me being a conceited bytch, I don't mean it to be. 


I don't want to be in a long-term relationship (see above).
If I meet-up with guys who WANT a long-term relationship and I know it's NOT what *I* want, isn't that leading them on? wasting their time?
Since men at TAM *insist* that, from the MALE PERSPECTIVE, it is impossible for a guy to "just be friends" with me (as I'm not unattractive), wouldn't that presume that ANY guy that wants to hang out and shoot pool, or guns, or windsurf with me is anticipating getting me in bed? 
I don't have a problem with that; I would be ALL FOR some recreational sex! 
Wouldn't it be kinder to eliminate the "OMG I'm looking for FOREVER" guys...since they're NOT what I want? I don't want to give them the idea they've found their "forever" with me; I honestly don't want it now. I just want to hang-out in the short-term, have fun, indulge in recreational sex (with one short-term guy), and not even think about 5 years from now!


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## ku1980rose

COguy said:


> It was annoying for me to write a profile. I actually enjoy going out and doing things like backpacking and dancing and painting. I actually do them regularly. I actually enjoy life and just having fun with anything that comes along.
> 
> I write all that down, because I think in the real world I'm a pretty unique person...and then when I'm done, I notice that my profile looks like almost every other one around. Bob the wife beating couch potato also likes to cook and backpack! So does Jim the computer nerd! Oh and Cindy the fatass cat lady Kayaks too! And everyone jogs!
> 
> Why I will never get worked up about anyone online unless I meet them in person. I went on 6 dates, the ones that I thought would work out best were the worst. The least good looking online were the best looking in real life. The ones that looked the most boring were actually the most interesting. The girl that appeared perfect was extremely shy and dull. The girl that I ended up liking the most I almost didn't ask out because I thought it wouldn't work.
> 
> If I ever do it again, which I probably won't, I am just going to have fun with my profile and come up with odd ways to meet. "We're meeting at Chuck E Cheese for chili fries." "We're going to the park to jump rope in the grass." "We're playing pickle ball" "Cottage cheese eating contest at the grocery store coffee bar"


The guy I actually went on a date with after my divorce was not interesting to me online. I wasn't attracted to his pictures, but I thought I'd just go and have a good time. 

He was much more attractive in person. He had lost 30 some lbs since his own divorce and didn't have new pics to post. And we hit it off so well that we ended up seeing each other the next night and then dating for 3 months. so, I see what you mean.


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## EnjoliWoman

Hm - OK so I'll focus more on keeping it short/outline form.

SGW - I would say learning TO SPEAK French. To avoid the literal weirdos.


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## ku1980rose

NoWhere said:


> Here's my profile:
> 
> "i wood like too find girl to dayte email me if you ar interrested.im reelly smart fun guy"
> "oh and no drama please"
> 
> Wanna go out sometime? :smthumbup:


:rofl:

That is exactly the stuff I see! Maybe it's just the ******* guys from my rural area? There's a guy I was emailing that seemed intelligent, but then he writes "would" as wud EVERYTIME! Why does that annoy me so much? Maybe I'm just getting too picky.


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## ku1980rose

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Okay, I'll give it a shot. My profile to what you see below in BLACK (Red was inserted by the dating site). Before I *BOLDED* the part near the bottom, I was getting bunches of replies from guys I didn't want to date (looking for my last first date, soulmate, etc.). Since I have bolded, I have ONLY gotten ONE response at all, but he was the KIND of guy I'm interested in. I'd prefer THIS to tons of mail from guys I'm not interested in.
> 
> Please give me your HONEST opinion on how I could improve this.
> 
> Thanks, SGW!
> 
> * * * * * * * * * * *
> 
> [UserName]: Are you witty and easy-going?
> 
> [UserName] isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment
> 
> Interests:
> 
> good food
> learning French
> sporting events
> reading mysteries and classic Amer/Brit literature
> Art Museums
> 
> About Me:
> Am looking for people who are ACTIVE, fun, intelligent, witty, well-read, interested in everyone/everything and interesting in turn! Looking to connect with people who want to share their hobbies, passions, interests with me and are willing to explore new interests as well.
> 
> I have wide-ranging interests and the enthusiasm, time and health to pursue them. If you can teach me to shoot pool, or shoot guns, that sounds great! If you can teach me to windsurf or want to learn WITH ME, even better!
> 
> *I am not looking for a long-term relationship, neither am I looking for a hook-up! If you want to hang out and do something fun, drop me a line.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> To send a message to [UserName] you MUST meet the following criteria:
> Male
> Younger than 70
> Live in United States
> Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
> You must have a picture to contact this user.
> Must not be looking for Long-term
> Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
> Must not do drugs
> Must not be married
> Must not smoke



I like that you are HONEST and to the point. You are not trying to fool anyone. You are honest that you don't want a one-night-stand, but you are not looking for a commitment either. That is great that you are putting that out there. If only others could be as honest to themselves and others about what they want/need in a relationship.


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## NoWhere

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> *NoWhere:*
> yes, just looking for friends (am still legally married to my STBXH).
> I'm learning French at meetup.com meetings every Wed. night; try them out!
> 
> I am perfectly satisfied at the idea of a short-term relationship (2 months to 2 years). I'm still working on ME!
> 
> I have SPECIFICALLY EXCLUDED long-term and, probably because of my age (56yo), am still getting TONS of the 60+ yo guys who want to settle down in their retirement with the little woman. Yeah, that is SO NOT ME at this point! I don't want to be MEAN to these guys, I feel for them, but that's WHOM I am attracting (that, and 20 somethings looking to bang a 'desperate older woman' I guess). If you've seen my pic ('new photo of you' thread), I LOOK EXTREMELY young for my age. I also have a 15yo daughter. So, settling in with a guy who looks like my grandpa is NOT doing it for me. And I don't want to come off as a bytch, but really....I'm more like a 40-something than mid-50s. My age (which I don't want to lie about because I HATE being lied to myself) is really kind of eliminating me from the kind of guys I'd be interested in doing stuff with because they see 56yo and think OLD LADY.
> 
> I'm thinking I might be better off NOT ON DATING SITES, but in the "real world" where my age would not come up for a while. For now, I've taken to contacting men whom I think might be appropriate and hoping my pic and profile will convince them I'm not half-dead like many people seem to think.
> 
> 
> *COGuy:*
> Thank you. Of course I would TOTALLY meet you at Chuck E. Cheese's....I'll be the one acting very immaturely!
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, I'll be TOTALLY BLUNT. If this comes off as me being a conceited bytch, I don't mean it to be.
> 
> 
> I don't want to be in a long-term relationship (see above).
> If I meet-up with guys who WANT a long-term relationship and I know it's NOT what *I* want, isn't that leading them on? wasting their time?
> Since men at TAM *insist* that, from the MALE PERSPECTIVE, it is impossible for a guy to "just be friends" with me (as I'm not unattractive), wouldn't that presume that ANY guy that wants to hang out and shoot pool, or guns, or windsurf with me is anticipating getting me in bed?
> I don't have a problem with that; I would be ALL FOR some recreational sex!
> Wouldn't it be kinder to eliminate the "OMG I'm looking for FOREVER" guys...since they're NOT what I want? I don't want to give them the idea they've found their "forever" with me; I honestly don't want it now. I just want to hang-out in the short-term, have fun, indulge in recreational sex (with one short-term guy), and not even think about 5 years from now!


See that's fine. That is what I initially got from your profile you are looking for friends to hang out and have fun. All I meant was you can go ahead and include long term and just put in your profile you are not looking for a serious long term relationship. There by increasing the amount of men that would view your profile. Like I said now you may just want to hang out and have some recreational sex, but you may find someone special and a year or 2 down the line totally change your mind. Not everyone who ends up in a long term relationship planned it from the offset.

And there are guys like what you are looking for on dating sites. I'm one of them. I'd like to meet a cool women to hang out with and do new things together and I'd absolutely love some recreational sex.  So they are out there. I'm not looking for anything serious for awhile, but I'm not going to delude myself in thinking if I find the right person I might easily change my mind and I am all for finding that special person if I can. You can't always help yourself from growing attached to someone.



EnjoliWoman said:


> SGW - I would say learning TO SPEAK French. To avoid the literal weirdos.


 :rofl: Maybe that's the french she wants to learn.


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## Freak On a Leash

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> *NoWhere:*
> yes, just looking for friends (am still legally married to my STBXH).
> I'm learning French at meetup.com meetings every Wed. night; try them out!
> 
> I am perfectly satisfied at the idea of a short-term relationship (2 months to 2 years). I'm still working on ME!
> 
> I have SPECIFICALLY EXCLUDED long-term and, probably because of my age (56yo), am still getting TONS of the 60+ yo guys who want to settle down in their retirement with the little woman. Yeah, that is SO NOT ME at this point! I don't want to be MEAN to these guys, I feel for them, but that's WHOM I am attracting (that, and 20 somethings looking to bang a 'desperate older woman' I guess). If you've seen my pic ('new photo of you' thread), I LOOK EXTREMELY young for my age. I also have a 15yo daughter. So, settling in with a guy who looks like my grandpa is NOT doing it for me. And I don't want to come off as a bytch, but really....I'm more like a 40-something than mid-50s. My age (which I don't want to lie about because I HATE being lied to myself) is really kind of eliminating me from the kind of guys I'd be interested in doing stuff with because they see 56yo and think OLD LADY.


 The whole situation of 60+ guys who want to settle down with the little woman for their retirement is just horrifying to me. Unless they are extremely high energy and want to travel the world but I'll bet that's rather rare. The idea of finding a couch potato is horrifying to me. I already had one of those. 

I'm 49 so I'm not far behind you. I have a 15 year old son. I'm more of a 30-something. Uh..maybe even a 20 something mentally. Yeah. A woman last night saw how I was dressed and said "Wow, my daughter used to dress like that in junior high!" :rofl: My reply was "Well, do did mine, these might be her clothes."

I have the same problem with meeting guys. I like the younger ones simply because I find them more attractive and I want someone high energy and the fact is, the older MOST people get the more sedentary they tend to be. I'm still as high energy and crazy now as I was 25 years ago.

I meet men in their 50s and most of the time I'm thinking "Dude, you won't be keeping up with me." I have met some older guys on the ski slopes that are cool. Seems THAT is the place to go to meet the kind of men I like to hang with. 



> Okay, I'll be TOTALLY BLUNT. If this comes off as me being a conceited bytch, I don't mean it to be.
> 
> 
> I don't want to be in a long-term relationship (see above).
> If I meet-up with guys who WANT a long-term relationship and I know it's NOT what *I* want, isn't that leading them on? wasting their time?
> Since men at TAM *insist* that, from the MALE PERSPECTIVE, it is impossible for a guy to "just be friends" with me (as I'm not unattractive), wouldn't that presume that ANY guy that wants to hang out and shoot pool, or guns, or windsurf with me is anticipating getting me in bed?
> I don't have a problem with that; I would be ALL FOR some recreational sex!
> Wouldn't it be kinder to eliminate the "OMG I'm looking for FOREVER" guys...since they're NOT what I want? I don't want to give them the idea they've found their "forever" with me; I honestly don't want it now. I just want to hang-out in the short-term, have fun, indulge in recreational sex (with one short-term guy), and not even think about 5 years from now!


I'm with you. I don't want the forever guys. In 3 years my life could be changing dramatically. Last thing I want is to settle down. Quite the opposite I want to pull up roots and head out. Where I don't know. 

I'm in the same situation is that on paper I'm still married but I'm the type of person who HAS to become friends FIRST with anyone I meet. I don't/can't jump into bed on the first date or even the 3rd one. Maybe not even the 10th one. By then I'll know if I still want to hang with someone though so I'm not one to lead someone on. 

I don't tend to meet someone and be instantly attracted to them. Last night I was talking to a woman and mentioned that there wasn't anyone in the room I felt attracted to. She seemed blown away by that. 

I'm very choosy about who I spend my time with. I have no problem being alone so the idea of being with someone who I'm not having fun with is horrifying. I hate wasting my time being with people I don't like. I'd rather be alone. It helps that I don't need to be with someone. 

I've always been like this. Even as a kid I had no problem sitting by myself in the school cafeteria reading a book rather than sitting with a boring or obnoxous group. A lot of people are the opposite. They will go to great extremes not to be alone. The very thought horrifies them. 

I'm with you in that I wouldn't advertise for the "Forever" type. But I wouldn't rule them out either. I'd just be very straightforward about where I'm coming from.


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## Freak On a Leash

COguy said:


> It was annoying for me to write a profile. I actually enjoy going out and doing things like backpacking and dancing and painting. I actually do them regularly. I actually enjoy life and just having fun with anything that comes along.
> 
> I write all that down, because I think in the real world I'm a pretty unique person...and then when I'm done, I notice that my profile looks like almost every other one around. Bob the wife beating couch potato also likes to cook and backpack! So does Jim the computer nerd! Oh and Cindy the fatass cat lady Kayaks too! And everyone jogs!
> 
> Why I will never get worked up about anyone online unless I meet them in person.


"Everyone jogs" :rofl: That's really funny. It does seem like everyone does come off as having read the same book. "I like romantic walks on the beach and cuddling up by the fire." Well, who doesn't? 

When I meet someone I converse with them pretty quickly and get a feel for what they do and how they would relate to me. I too am into hiking, camping, skiing, kayaking etc. I'm big into music too. Of course everyone I meet is the same way. Right. 

Then I'll start asking specifics like WHERE to they hike. WHAT type of music they listen. What bands, concerts they like and have gone to? Oops...that's where they draw a blank. "Oh yeah, I hike a lot'. Turns out they are hiking at the local state park and haven't left the state in 10 years. They kayak in the lake down the road and are stilll listening to their old U2 CDs and think they are on the cutting edge. 

In about 15 minutes I know what I'm dealing with. Usually they are couch potatoes. But I always enjoy talking to them. 

I find the best way to meet the type of people I like is to join groups and clubs that are filled with people who actually DO them. There's no BSing around when you are actually scrambling up rocks on a 6 mile hike and someone is there with you. 

COguy, you actually sound like my kind of guy on paper. I wish I lived out west. Maybe in about 3 years I will be. :smthumbup:


----------



## Freak On a Leash

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Interests:
> 
> good food
> learning French
> sporting events
> reading mysteries and classic Amer/Brit literature
> Art Museums


See, this is what I'd want to see on an online profile. I'd want to get right to brass bolts. I'd want to see pics and interests..That's where my eye is going to go right away. 

All the other stuff about being openminded, passionate, intelligent..Well of COURSE people are going to write that! How many people really write that they are boring, narrowminded and stupid? 

So if I was reading a profile with the the list above I'd cross you off. Why? Maybe you are passionate, interesting and fun but with the exception of the first one I have no interest in any of that so I don't think we'd mesh well. I don't want to learn a language, I hate sports (except for once a year at the Superbowl when I can eat chicken wings and drink beer), I read science fiction/fantasy books or travel books and I don't like museums much. 

I've already done the bit being with someone I like personally but doesn't share any of my interests and I'm done with that. That was the way it was during my entire marriage! Now, if i get involved with someone I want them to be DOING things with me from time to time, not just come home to after I'm done doing my thing and he's done his. 

So yeah, I want to see interests. That's what makes the cut for me. It also tells me what type of person you are likely to be. If you say you like rock climbing and skiing I'm going to be thinking a lot differently about you then if you say you like museums and going to the theater.


----------



## Pbartender

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I LOOK EXTREMELY young for my age. I also have a 15yo daughter... ...they see 56yo and think OLD LADY.





Freak On a Leash said:


> I'm 49 so I'm not far behind you. I have a 15 year old son.


Heh... And here I am, with a 15 year old son and a 13 year old daughter, and I'm only 36. 



NoWhere said:


> And there are guys like what you are looking for on dating sites. I'm one of them. I'd like to meet a cool women to hang out with and do new things together and I'd absolutely love some recreational sex.


Yep, you've got another one right here... The trouble is, according to what they're telling us, women who are looking for that same sort of thing seem to be just as rare as the men.


Pb.


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## Freak On a Leash

Pbartender said:


> Heh... And here I am, with a 15 year old son and a 13 year old daughter, and I'm only 36.


You got married young. In a few years your kids will (hopefully) be on their own and you will be VERY attractive to other woman, assuming you are still single.I like the situation with the ones who have older vs younger children. 15 and 13 isn't too bad because soon they will more or less be independent and you'll have more free time but the ones with the kids who need sitters and more parental care and attention scare me. I don't want to get sucked into all that on any level. I dont want to adopt a second family. Heck, I'm scared of having grandchildren thrust into my life! :slap:

But the ones who say "I have two kids who are 23 and 30 and live across the country" definitely get the thumbs up. The childless ones are even better. My kids are older and anyone I'm dating probably won't have much to do with them. I want the same in return. 

Right now PB, in your 30s you are still meeting women who are shopping for a second daddy for their kids, esp if the bio father has basically abandoned them. You might even be pulling in the late 20-mid 30s who have never married and want to get married start a family. It's the same scenario as the 60+ men who are looking at for a woman to settle down with.

In a few years you'll move into that 40-60 range of empty nesters who are rediscovering the world and just want to get out and do all the fun stuff that they were denied doing during the years they had to raise their kids. THOSE are the ones who aren't looking for the long term commitment but just want to go out and have fun. I put myself in that category.


----------



## Pbartender

So, here's the funny thing...



Freak On a Leash said:


> You got married young. In a few years your kids will (hopefully) be on their own and you will be VERY attractive to other woman, assuming you are still single.I like the situation with the ones who have older vs younger children. 15 and 13 isn't too bad because soon they will more or less be independent and you'll have more free time but the ones with the kids who need sitters and more parental care and attention scare me. I don't want to get sucked into all that on any level. I dont want to adopt a second family. Heck, I'm scared of having grandchildren thrust into my life! :slap:


I know exactly what you're talking about... I've got my two kids, and I love them to pieces. But I'm looking forward to the time when they'll be out on their own. I don't want more, and a long time ago I made certain I wouldn't in a very permanent way.

Starting over with small children holds no appeal for me at all.

Unfortunately, that rules out a large fraction of the women my age.



Freak On a Leash said:


> But the ones who say "I have two kids who are 23 and 30 and live across the country" definitely get the thumbs up. The childless ones are even better. My kids are older and anyone I'm dating probably won't have much to do with them. I want the same in return.


Right on. I fell the same way. Even though mine are still in high/middle school, it looks like we'll end up with a 50/50 time schedule, which will make it a lot easier to separate "dad" time from "boyfriend" time.



Freak On a Leash said:


> Right now PB, in your 30s you are still meeting women who are shopping for a second daddy for their kids, esp if the bio father has basically abandoned them. You might even be pulling in the late 20-mid 30s who have never married and want to get married start a family. It's the same scenario as the 60+ men who are looking at for a woman to settle down with.


Exactly... Just on the other end of the time scale. 



Freak On a Leash said:


> In a few years you'll move into that 40-60 range of empty nesters who are rediscovering the world and just want to get out and do all the fun stuff that they were denied doing during the years they had to raise their kids. THOSE are the ones who aren't looking for the long term commitment but just want to go out and have fun. I put myself in that category.


Yep... Exactly the sort of person be aiming for. Someone to go on "adventures" with. And I don't the sort of "extreme excitement" adventures that most people might think of... I just like seeing new places, meeting new people, doing new things, simply because I haven't yet. My curiosity drives me to explore!

I may be young, but I'm practically in that category already. :smthumbup:


Pb.


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## Freak On a Leash

Too bad you don't live in my part of the world. I would like a younger guy to hang with. Many guys my age are stuck in a rut from 25+ years ago ("Wut? It's not 1987 anymore?) and by 11pm they are done and ready for bed.  You sound like you are in the exact same mindset as me. 

I think it's easier for a woman to find a man who isn't looking to get committed. A lot more younger women are still looking for "Mr Right". By the time you hit my age you are just happy to have someone to hang out with and don't even WANT to settle down. You've had enough of that and want to hit the ground running. It's like you get your second wind after the whole "raising the kids" situation. 

Be patient, you might want to cast your net upwards in age range, just as I tend to look downwards. Kinda weird, eh?


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## Pbartender

Freak On a Leash said:


> Too bad you don't live in my part of the world. I would like a younger guy to hang with. Many guys my age are stuck in a rut from 25+ years ago ("Wut? It's not 1987 anymore?) and by 11pm they are done and ready for bed.  You sound like you are in the exact same mindset as me.


Hrmm... It's been almost 10 years since I've been out to the East Coast... And longer than that since I've taken a solo trip anywhere... Maybe I should find an excuse to reward myself with a vacation...

 



Freak On a Leash said:


> Be patient, you might want to cast your net upwards in age range, just as I tend to look downwards. Kinda weird, eh?


Funny you should mention that... Of the handful of women I've run across who've shown some interest in me, they seem to be either early 30s (about 5 younger than me), or early 40s (about 5 years older than me).

The younger ones seem to have more interests in common with me, but... Like you said, they seem to be looking for a serious, long-term relationship. Someone they can settle down with and have kids with before they too much older. And I'm not sure what it is, but I'll go out to dinner, or out for coffee, or maybe see a movie with them, and they're... boring. They talk about work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and *SNORE!*.
:sleeping:

The 40-somethings, though, are a lot more fun and interesting to hang out with... There's one hot blonde single mom, whose kids happen to be in the same grades as mine. She's "sort of" seeing a guy, but is also truly enjoying being single. I met her at a real swingin' party that one of my friends was throwing, and boy is she a Fan Tastic dancer, if you know what I mean... And I think you do. Oh yeah, and she's into motorcycles and power tools.

:smthumbup:


Pb.


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## ku1980rose

I read a pretty good profile today. The guy listed 12 things you should know about him. He wrote a couple of sentences explaining each thing. 

I thought this was well though out and interesting. And I can look at those things and eliminate him from my search because I don't share the same interests and lifestyle. 

I thought maybe he should also list what he is looking for in a partner, but then again he really doesn't have to. I'm not going to think he's a good match for me if I don't share those interests. But, maybe just a quick paragraph stating that you should have some of the same interests? 

Anyway, just thought it was interesting. Thinking of redoing my profile soon.


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## Pbartender

ku1980rose said:


> I read a pretty good profile today. The guy listed 12 things you should know about him. He wrote a couple of sentences explaining each thing.


Now there's an idea...

A "Top 10 List" Online Dating Profile, a la David Letterman.


Pb.


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## Freak On a Leash

Pbartender said:


> Hrmm... It's been almost 10 years since I've been out to the East Coast... And longer than that since I've taken a solo trip anywhere... Maybe I should find an excuse to reward myself with a vacation...


Well, if you decide to come and visit the legendary Jersey Shore drop me a PM. The town I live in is considered to be one of the most happening places here. Lots to do, restaurants, bars and yes, even after the hurricane, we still have the beach. 

Taking solo trips is awesome! :smthumbup: I HIGHLY recommend it! I've been doing trips like that for years. In years past I used to travel on extended road trips regularly. It didn't help my marriage any but I'm glad I did it. 

I've done road trips all up and down the east coast, from Quebec, Canada and the Maritimes down to Florida. Once I did a 2 week trip to Colorado and back. I'm looking to do this sort of thing again in a few years when my kids have graduated and are hopefully mostly on their own. 

Nowadays, since I'm the sole support for my kids and myself I don't tend to travel as far but I will go away as much as I can, even if it's just a few hours drive away. One of the reasons I agreed to let my STBXH off the hook when it comes to financial support is so that he will watch my son often enough so that I can take trips away. I'm trading in demands on him for money for to have freedom for myself. 

Last summer, when my son was staying with his father, I went on a solo camping trip about every 2 weeks. Money has been tight so I've only done one overnighter since I've filed for D. In warmer weather I can save money by camping. Hotels, even the cheaper ones are a lot more expensive than camping out so I tend not to go away as much in the winter. I love to camp out so that works for me most of the rest of the year.

But just having the freedom to go away and do what you want is so great. I highly recommend it. 



> The younger ones seem to have more interests in common with me, but... Like you said, they seem to be looking for a serious, long-term relationship. Someone they can settle down with and have kids with before they too much older. And I'm not sure what it is, but I'll go out to dinner, or out for coffee, or maybe see a movie with them, and they're... boring. They talk about work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and work and their pets and their nieces and nephews and *SNORE!*.
> :sleeping:


And when they become mothers it gets far, far worse. Right now they are just biding their time. When/If they snare a guy and have children then suddenly ANYTHING interesting and fun just disappears like dust in the wind. Then it's all about the kids. What diapers are on sale, how best to clean the floor, etc, etc. :banghead:

Then when their kids are in school it's about what their kids are doing there, their after school activities, blah blah blah. I know because in my 30s I had ZERO connection with any women my age. I had NO girlfriends..ALL my friends were guys. I could barely carry on a conversation with most women. Half the time they didn't even know who the President was, never mind discussing anything pertaining to the real world. 

Good thing I was into motorsports at the time. I was heavy into showing and racing my car, taking my road trips and eventually I hung with an older crowd that was into partying it up when we all went on road trips in our cars. Often I was the only one with younger children in the entire group. Either they were single or older with older children. Many people assumed I wasn't married or divorced and were shocked when I mentioned that I had a husband and two younger children. 

Even now, my kayaking/hiking crowd and the people in the clubs are either younger or older. You rarely see people in their 30s out and about in the Meetup groups. They are too busy raising their kids and staying home on Friday/Saturday nights. 

I couldn't play the Mommy role. I hated it with a passion. My H wanted a family and I was willing to do it PROVIDED I was able to continue my hobbies, my road trips and he would watch the kids when I did so. It definitely didn't help my marriage though and he has brought it up time after time over the years as an example of what a bad wife and mother I was when my kids were young. 

He's actually right about that but I couldn't hack the motherhood thing. I never should've gotten married and had kids. I'm glad I have them now but in hindsight it was a terrible mistake. I'm not someone who can relate to and/or wanted children. My H actually knew that but he loved me and was willing to put up with it but it did make for problems over most of our marriage. 



> The 40-somethings, though, are a lot more fun and interesting to hang out with... There's one hot blonde single mom, whose kids happen to be in the same grades as mine. She's "sort of" seeing a guy, but is also truly enjoying being single. I met her at a real swingin' party that one of my friends was throwing, and boy is she a Fan Tastic dancer, if you know what I mean... And I think you do. Oh yeah, and she's into motorcycles and power tools.


:lol: :smthumbup: Well there you go! It's funny, when a woman hits her 40s she often goes through a "Midlife Crisis" of sorts.They go through some kind of identity crisis and become fun and interesting. It often leads to a divorce because the once practical, staid mommy decides to break loose and become a wild woman, much to her husband's horror. Unfortunately that's the type who will often go out and have an affair.  

Or maybe they were like me and just never grew up. I never had a mid-life crisis. I just remained 23. I can honestly say that in most ways I am EXACTLY the way I was 25 years ago. I once had someone who hadn't seen me in a long time say "Wow, you haven't changed, you are JUST like you were in 1986." And they would be right. 

But NOW I'm not called immature or a "bad example". I'm "cool" and "fun". But I haven't changed, the people around me have. The 40-60 crowd is out there and wanting to shake a leg and have fun and live life while they still can. 

So I suggest you join them. Don't discount the 45 year old woman who is working out at the gym every day and wants to go out drinking and dancing and jumps on her Harley afterwards. They are def out there and wanting to have fun with you. 

In the grand scheme of things age is just a number. I've never cared much about it myself. Works for me.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

ku1980rose said:


> I read a pretty good profile today. The guy listed 12 things you should know about him. He wrote a couple of sentences explaining each thing.
> 
> I thought this was well though out and interesting. And I can look at those things and eliminate him from my search because I don't share the same interests and lifestyle.
> 
> I thought maybe he should also list what he is looking for in a partner, but then again he really doesn't have to. I'm not going to think he's a good match for me if I don't share those interests. But, maybe just a quick paragraph stating that you should have some of the same interests?


:iagree: I think just the list would work for me. I mean, if I write I love hiking and kayaking and going out to bars to drink and dance then obviously someone who likes to sit home and watch TV all the time isn't going to cut it for me. 

And if they were lying it would take me about 5 seconds to figure it out.  But why would they lie? It would just cause problems to answer to a guy who likes art museums and opera so I wouldn't even bother.


----------



## whitehawk

EnjoliWoman said:


> OK - here is mine.
> 
> My tag line - whatever that first line is that is supposed to catch their attention is: "Canvas to 5-star; milk to grey goose, comics to CNN, alone or a crowd, I'm happy."
> My general profile description is:
> 
> 
> Relationship: Divorced
> Have kids: Yes, they sometimes live at home (1)
> Want kids: No, but it's OK if my partner has kids
> Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
> Body type:A few extra pounds
> Height: 5'7" (170cms)
> Faith: Spiritual but not religious
> Smoke: No Way
> Drink: Social Drinker
> 
> And the "about me" part:
> 
> Because I'm so laid back, I enjoy most anything. It really mostly depends on the company as to whether I enjoy myself or not. I think attitude is everything, and mine is a positive one. I'm looking for someone who enjoys a little bit of everything, not too obsessive about any one thing. Some perceive this as being a bit too pollyanna but I'm focused where I need to be so why not let the current take me the rest of the time?
> 
> A wild night on the town can be fun, but every night gets old. (I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River. Not for long, but I have!) I love to cook but enjoy a great restaurant. If I can make it better I'd rather eat at home and sip a glass of wine while cooking and having good conversation with YOU. Sporting events are cool - I can follow along most of the time (not always!) but I love the pumped up atmosphere of tailgating. And as a Panther's fan, I'm just glad when they score anymore. I've given up on winning.
> 
> I enjoy big family gatherings because mine is so small. I like big groups of laughing friends; people who can laugh at themselves, but intimate evenings alone getting close can be just perfect, too. I love to entertain. Having a crowd over for something as casual as a cookout to well organized fondue night for 8 or a ****tail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.
> 
> I have goals and ambitions but know when to stop and smell the roses and am looking for someone the same. Ambition is good, but workoholic is not. I love my job but except for occasional travel I don't have to work past 5pm very often.
> 
> I am loyal and caring with a soft heart. I organize a charitable drive for a needy family every holiday season. I have a great smile (hope you agree) and use it a lot! I empathize with people easily and feel their pain but also believe in tough love.
> 
> I like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to.
> 
> I'd love to travel all over the world and sometimes a 5-star hotel is nice, other times mingling with the locals so I get the feel for their culture would be cool. I draw the line at eating bugs, things with heads or whole. You get the idea. ,
> 
> I'm sort of a guy's girl... I have just as much fun with the guys as I do with my girlfriends. I know how to use power tools thanks to Dad and some volunteering with Habitat for Humanity (sheet rock and siding - yay), shoot a gun (apparently that scares some match members!), cast a line and change a tire, but I can also sew, sketch and cook. I don't mind getting dirty, but I also like getting dressed up in heels and pretty things and still appreciate (and thank) when doors are opened, umbrellas are held, etc.
> 
> I have a 14 year old daughter that keeps me young (she lives with me primarily) and keeps me moving with her activities.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Interests:
> Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Performing arts, Playing cards, Travel/Sightseeing, Wine tasting
> Sports and exercise: edit
> Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Skiing, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
> Exercise habits: edit
> Exercise 3-4 times per week
> Pets: edit
> I have Cats, Dogs
> I have a l calico cat who eradicates my yard from moles. And lizards. My lab passed the day before Thanksgiving 2012. I'm not sure I should commit to another dog until I see how much travel is required of me this year.
> Political views:
> Middle of the Road
> Sign:
> Aries
> College:
> Listed but removed for privacy on TAM
> For Fun:
> I am very versatile. I like camping or going to a 5-star resort. I enjoy the occasional hike, bicycle ride, good restaurants, good drink, movies, snow skiing. Love animals. Like all kinds of music and interesting conversation, people and places.
> Favorite Hot Spots:
> I have an assortment of day-trip destinations as well as dives and upscale destinations - removed for privacy on TAM
> Favorite Things:
> Italian food, good wine, being outdoors. If it's cold/rainy, a fire and a book or have friends, drinks and laughs. Happy in jeans/boots or dresses/heels. I like classic rocknroll or mellow mood music. Good coffee in my robe.
> Last Read:
> Just finished Lone Wolf. Subscribe to Reader's Digest and TIME.



Wow , have you really written all that , mines about your top paragraph. I'm worried I'll ramble on too much and turn girls off.


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## Freak On a Leash

whitehawk said:


> Wow , have you really written all that , mines about your top paragraph. I'm worried I'll ramble on too much and turn girls off.


It looks like one of my posts. Can you imagine what my dating profile would look like? I'd probably bust the server wide open and it would need to be copywrited. :rofl:


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## whitehawk

Freak On a Leash said:


> It looks like one of my posts. Can you imagine what my dating profile would look like? I'd probably bust the server wide open and it would need to be copywrited. :rofl:



But hey you are a freak on a leash , that's your job , busting things wide open . Ps , can I help


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## whitehawk

So what if , you just wanted somebody to hang out with a little.
I really miss female company but I know it's too soon for me to start something just yet.

But I would like friendship , talk , calls or visits sort off - like I had with that crazy chick I met .

Do you think any girls on these sites would be interested in something like that ? 
And if so - how would I put it , what should I say?

I do know a few people I've been good friends like this with but with our split I'm not really seeing any of our old friends much. They're all a bit busy anyway , families , life.


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## SingleInTx

SO- ******* profile below- is it a novel? Did I write SO much that all I get are dumb-a$$ messages from people who don't even bother to read it? 

Ethnicity: White
Height: 5′ 6″ (1.68m).
Body Type: Athletic
Diet: Mostly vegetarian
Smokes: No
Drinks: Socially
Drugs: Never
Religion: Christianity
Sign: Aries and it’s fun to think about
Education: Graduated from two-year college
Job: Science / Tech / Engineering
Income: —
Offspring: Has kids
Pets: Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks: English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

My self-summary
Hmm, where to start: I'm sarcastic, good-natured and try to find the humor in every situation in life when possible. I work very hard and love my career, but I do break up the workday with a good practical joke on my boss every now and then.

I am divorced with full custody of my 2 boys, they are my life! If you don't like kids, don't ever want to deal with kids, you are looking in the wrong place 

I LOVE weekend road trips! To the coast, to San Antonio, whatever- that laid-back feeling of getting out of town every couple months is something that makes me super happy.

I lead a very busy and full life, I am not looking for someone to be physically attached to 24/7 and for someone who will freak out if I don't immediately text them back. I can't stand clingy, if you feel the need to shadow my every move we will not get along! I am looking for someone to have fun and share experiences with, but not to BE somebody's whole life.

I use your & you're; as well as their, they're, and there properly and it drives me nuts when someone doesn't, just putting that out their. (See what I did they're?). If you do, good- if you don't... *crickets* we probably won't get along 

Anyway, yeah I'm just your average mid (late?) 20's girl who likes to work hard, and then relax with a couple cold beers while hitting a volleyball around in the sand or having a rocks no salt margarita at any decent Tex-Mex place. Family is important to me and so are my friends. I'm very social. I love wine and I'm a pretty good cook but don't bake well since I'm not really into sweets. I'm into technology and kind of a dork about reading and learning new things but I'm cool with that.

I have a Siamese fighting fish named Dory- I agree with her outlook on life- "just keep swimming..."

I am random and a little ADD...

I put "mostly vegetarian" in the details section, but I LOVE a good steak on occasion.

I practically live in high heels, exceptions being the gym and the beach.

What I’m doing with my life
Working hard at my career which I love, trying to introduce my kids to as many new experiences and different things in life as possible, playing sand & indoor volleyball year-round and indoor soccer a couple of seasons per year.
I’m really good at
Scrabble and Words With Friends...really.

My volleyball "skills" have improved a ton this year! But I'm still definitely far from really good.

Honestly, pretty much anything I really and truly set my mind to and dedicate myself to, and don't lose interest in too quickly (especially if I have the added incentive of competition).

The first things people usually notice about me
I always get compliments on my teeth & smile 

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- thrillers, some fiction, work-related stuff, self-help i.e. parenting, etc...

TV- I don't have cable but I will always find a way to keep up with Breaking Bad, Dexter, and Mad Men. I was sorely disappointed when Lie to Me ended. Also on a lighter note, reruns of Friends and I LOVE Archer. House of Cards is a new fave!

Movies- again thrillers, anything with a good twist. The Shining, The Perfect Host, The Lincoln Lawyer.

Music- almost all, but can't stand Kiss FM type pop music for the most part.

Food- Tex-Mex (clearly), sushi, Italian, don't eat fast food at all.

The six things I could never do without
1) & 2) are my 2 kids, obv.
Others would include
3) my iPhone
4) a good book
5) an inexpensive but good bottle of wine, and
6) hmmm...let me think about it.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Work, something new & fun to do on the weekend, what life would be like in the Mad Men era if I had to wear dresses & pantyhose to work every day...

On a typical Friday night I am
Either hanging out having pizza & movie night with my kids, or out socializing and having a few drinks with friends, or combining the 2- having my friends and their kids over for drinks and pizza!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In The six things I could never do without section when people put "Air! Water! Oxygen! Food!" or the like, I immediately think to myself, "well no ****?" (sorry- might as well know how my mind works early on  )

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 29–42
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if
If you have something more to say than "hey, what's up?"

If you include your name in your message.

If you answered the question "would you date someone with children from a previous relationship?" "YES," if I see a "NO" answer there I will not respond. My kids are very important to me and will always be my #1 priority 

Please be in the general Austin area.


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## NoWhere

If I was younger I'd be emailing you. Then again I've been one of the few on here defending long profiles. I read them completely. Some people here think they need to be short and mysterious or something. I like long ones because you get a better general idea what kind of person they are from the start. Both in their use of the language, what they say and how they say it.


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## SingleInTx

NoWhere said:


> If I was younger I'd be emailing you. Then again I've been one of the few on here defending long profiles. I read them completely. Some people here think they need to be short and mysterious or something. I like long ones because you get a better general idea what kind of person they are from the start. Both in their use of the language, what they say and how they say it.


Thanks NoWhere  That's my defense and why I am drawn to longer profiles, as well. I think that not only what a person has to say, but the manner in which they say it, speaks volumes. Plus, I would rather get as much information as possible up front- if you are "mysterious" but then we exchange emails for a few days and I find out you hate kids and love drugs, we are going to have issues. I mean, there are certain things that make me 100% sure I'll be incompatible with someone- so why not put it out there up front? There's still plenty to be learned about a person that can't be expressed in a dating profile- I don't think it ruins anything to put yourself out there with a healthy amount of info!


----------



## NoWhere

Plus there are thousands of people to weed through. If you had to email and chat over and over to figure out who they are it could take you a few decades to meet the right person.


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## brokendown77

Sorry SingleInTx, its a bit long for my taste, but you had some great info in there! I think that it just needs to be shortened a little bit, its actually not as long as some of the ones I've seen. Having a shorter profile isn't really about being perceived as "mysterious", but more so that people (talking as a guy, I have a short attention span) can get a gist of who you are, and then contact you to elaborate on stuff that you listed. Toward the end of your profile it just seems a little like rambling. I'd say that most of the time, if you are only getting weirdos contacting you they saw a wall of text and immediately glossed over and just looked at pictures and decided to contact you.

From what I hear, girls have it much worse than guys because they will get a ton of emails, winks, etc. from men. So unfortunately, you'll have a lot more weeding out to do. If I was sorting through a bunch of emails I'd look for stuff I mention in my profile and ignore more of the posts that had to do with comments on my physical features. But that's just me...and I'm totally new to the online dating scene, so take anything I say with a grain of salt haha.


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## SingleInTx

BrokenDown, I was rambling a little bit, LOL! I cleaned it up a little bit and left the majority of the info but took out things that were less relevant and more "random." 

I believe you are completely correct about people skimming the profile then messaging me based on photos alone.

Welcome to the online dating world- it's a circus out there!


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## NoWhere

Well I might be in the minority. Sure pictures will pull me to the profile, but then I read everything. Then when I think about emailing the person i read it all again paying close attention to details.


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## EnjoliWoman

Same here. In fact it really annoys me when they ask questions that I address in my profile - they obviously didn't pay attention. I often re-read and refer back to refresh my memory - age of kids, etc. 

If they only have a few lines in their profile, they aren't putting a lot of effort into finding the right person to date. If they aren't putting effort in, why should I? I did that for 15 years already.


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## SingleInTx

NoWhere said:


> Well I might be in the minority. Sure pictures will pull me to the profile, but then I read everything. Then when I think about emailing the person i read it all again paying close attention to details.


Absolutely, exactly what I do. I feel bad if I ask a question that was clearly addressed in the profile- if I expect someone to put the effort in as far as reading, paying attention, etc- I will be doing the same.


----------



## SingleInTx

EnjoliWoman said:


> Same here. In fact it really annoys me when they ask questions that I address in my profile - they obviously didn't pay attention. I often re-read and refer back to refresh my memory - age of kids, etc.
> 
> If they only have a few lines in their profile, they aren't putting a lot of effort into finding the right person to date. If they aren't putting effort in, why should I? I did that for 15 years already.


I could repost your post as my own post...lol. I completely 110% agree. It takes effort on both sides, and if one isn't putting it in...don't expect that they'll put in the effort in a relationship down the road either!


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## Freak On a Leash

SingleinTX, 

I'm sorry. I'm probably the last person who should be saying this, but it's way too long for my tastes. I really don't need to know about your fish and much of what you have written I'd assume anyway. 

I don't know how I'd write my own profile. The whole thing about trying to explain myself....do you really need to put all that stuff in when you do an online profile? :scratchhead:

I think it would be interesting to give it a shot simply to see if I could do it myself.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

whitehawk said:


> But hey you are a freak on a leash , that's your job , busting things wide open . Ps , can I help


:lol: :rofl: Ah yes, it's what I do. I come from the great a*ss kicking state! Yes, you can help. Maybe I should start a Meetup group?


----------



## whitehawk

SingleInTx said:


> SO- ******* profile below- is it a novel? Did I write SO much that all I get are dumb-a$$ messages from people who don't even bother to read it?
> 
> 
> Sorry SIT - hey sit , ok that's pretty poor.
> 
> But just imo and it sounds like it doesn't even matter what the chicks write anyway but 4x too long for me.
> For me anyway , so far whenever I'm checkin somem out and it goes on too much I'm bored and outa there. Even if I see there's that much before I even start it's yeah yeah yeah what fkg ever and I'm gone.
> Personally later yeah if we started talking then I'd wanna hear lots but not at the first stage.
> 
> I'd forget long sentences going with things you like and just put the likes themselves. That'd lose 1/2 of it. I have talked with a few other guys that feel the same way .


----------



## whitehawk

Freak On a Leash said:


> :lol: :rofl: Ah yes, it's what I do. I come from the great a*ss kicking state! Yes, you can help. Maybe I should start a Meetup group?



Ha ha done deal freak , lets get some destruction happening :smthumbup:


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## EnjoliWoman

whitehawk said:


> Wow , have you really written all that , mines about your top paragraph. I'm worried I'll ramble on too much and turn girls off.


Actually I only wrote the "about me" part - the rest were things I had to answer in my profile that are automatically included but I copied/pasted all of it.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Enjoli, you know I love you like a sister! I think it's WAY TOO LONG. Most guys are NOT going to read all that and they MAY assume that you TALK TOO MUCH because you wrote a lot. I get that you're trying to give them the full picture, but I think guys aren't going to get it. (But hey, I'm not a guy, what the hell do I know?) I'm suggesting you trim it down to the red.




> About me:
> 
> Because I'm so laid back, I enjoy most anything. It really mostly depends on the company as to whether I enjoy myself or not. I think attitude is everything, and mine is a positive one. I'm looking for someone who enjoys a little bit of everything, not too obsessive about any one thing. Some perceive this as being a bit too pollyanna but I'm focused where I need to be so why not let the current take me the rest of the time?
> 
> A wild night on the town can be fun, but every night gets old. (I have ridden the bull at Whiskey River. Not for long, but I have!) I love to cook but enjoy a great restaurant. If I can make it better I'd rather eat at home and sip a glass of wine while cooking and having good conversation with YOU. Sporting events are cool - I can follow along most of the time (not always!) but I love the pumped up atmosphere of tailgating. And as a Panther's fan, I'm just glad when they score anymore. I've given up on winning.
> 
> I enjoy big family gatherings because mine is so small. I like big groups of laughing friends; people who can laugh at themselves, but intimate evenings alone getting close can be just perfect, too. I love to entertain. Having a crowd over for something as casual as a cookout to well organized fondue night for 8 or a ****tail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.
> 
> I have goals and ambitions but know when to stop and smell the roses and am looking for someone the same. Ambition is good, but workoholic is not. I love my job but except for occasional travel I don't have to work past 5pm very often.
> 
> I am loyal and caring with a soft heart. I organize a charitable drive for a needy family every holiday season. I have a great smile (hope you agree) and use it a lot! I empathize with people easily and feel their pain but also believe in tough love.
> 
> I like someone who will challenge me and make me go to the edge and take chances sometimes. I've never backpacked but willing to go. I've never rafted but really WANT to go. Sunrise hot air balloon ride (I think I'm going to do this my next birthday in the spring), train excursions (hello, sleeper car!), a cruise... all things I haven't done but want to.
> 
> I'd love to travel all over the world and sometimes a 5-star hotel is nice, other times mingling with the locals so I get the feel for their culture would be cool. I draw the line at eating bugs, things with heads or whole. You get the idea. ,
> 
> I'm sort of a guy's girl... I have just as much fun with the guys as I do with my girlfriends. I know how to use power tools thanks to Dad and some volunteering with Habitat for Humanity (sheet rock and siding - yay), shoot a gun (apparently that scares some match members!), cast a line and change a tire, but I can also sew, sketch and cook. I don't mind getting dirty, but I also like getting dressed up in heels and pretty things and still appreciate (and thank) when doors are opened, umbrellas are held, etc.
> 
> I have a 14 year old daughter that keeps me young (she lives with me primarily) and keeps me moving with her activities.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Interests:
> Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Performing arts, Playing cards, Travel/Sightseeing, Wine tasting
> Sports and exercise: edit
> Billiards / Pool, Bowling, Cycling, Football, Dancing, Skiing, Swimming, Walking / Hiking
> Exercise habits: edit
> Exercise 3-4 times per week
> Pets: edit
> I have Cats, Dogs
> I have a l calico cat who eradicates my yard from moles. And lizards. My lab passed the day before Thanksgiving 2012. I'm not sure I should commit to another dog until I see how much travel is required of me this year.
> Political views:
> Middle of the Road
> Sign:
> Aries
> College:
> Listed but removed for privacy on TAM
> For Fun:
> I am very versatile. I like camping or going to a 5-star resort. I enjoy the occasional hike, bicycle ride, good restaurants, good drink, movies, snow skiing. Love animals. Like all kinds of music and interesting conversation, people and places.
> Favorite Hot Spots:
> I have an assortment of day-trip destinations as well as dives and upscale destinations - removed for privacy on TAM
> Favorite Things:
> Italian food, good wine, being outdoors. If it's cold/rainy, a fire and a book or have friends, drinks and laughs. Happy in jeans/boots or dresses/heels. I like classic rocknroll or mellow mood music. Good coffee in my robe.
> Last Read:
> Just finished Lone Wolf. Subscribe to Reader's Digest and TIME.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

Single In Texas:
Same advice as EnjoliWoman, I think you should edit. You want to leave SOMETHING to discuss on the actual date! Would suggest you leave the red.

My self-summary
Hmm, where to start: I'm sarcastic, good-natured and try to find the humor in every situation in life when possible. I work very hard and love my career, but I do break up the workday with a good practical joke on my boss every now and then.

I am divorced with full custody of my 2 boys, they are my life! If you don't like kids, don't ever want to deal with kids, you are looking in the wrong place 

I LOVE weekend road trips! To the coast, to San Antonio, whatever- that laid-back feeling of getting out of town every couple months is something that makes me super happy. *Note: Where are your boys on these weekends? With ex-h? Should be made clear.*

I lead a very busy and full life, I am not looking for someone to be physically attached to 24/7 and for someone who will freak out if I don't immediately text them back. I can't stand clingy, if you feel the need to shadow my every move we will not get along! I am looking for someone to have fun and share experiences with, but not to BE somebody's whole life.

I use your & you're; as well as their, they're, and there properly and it drives me nuts when someone doesn't, just putting that out their. (See what I did they're?). If you do, good- if you don't... *crickets* we probably won't get along 

Anyway, yeah I'm just your average mid (late?) 20's girl who likes to work hard, and then relax with a couple cold beers while hitting a volleyball around in the sand or having a rocks no salt margarita at any decent Tex-Mex place. Family is important to me and so are my friends. I'm very social. I love wine and I'm a pretty good cook but don't bake well since I'm not really into sweets. I'm into technology and kind of a dork about reading and learning new things but I'm cool with that.

I have a Siamese fighting fish named Dory- I agree with her outlook on life- "just keep swimming..."

I am random and a little ADD...

I put "mostly vegetarian" in the details section, but I LOVE a good steak on occasion.

I practically live in high heels, exceptions being the gym and the beach.

What I’m doing with my life
Working hard at my career which I love, trying to introduce my kids to as many new experiences and different things in life as possible, playing sand & indoor volleyball year-round and indoor soccer a couple of seasons per year.
I’m really good at
Scrabble and Words With Friends...really.

My volleyball "skills" have improved a ton this year! But I'm still definitely far from really good.

Honestly, pretty much anything I really and truly set my mind to and dedicate myself to, and don't lose interest in too quickly (especially if I have the added incentive of competition).

The first things people usually notice about me
I always get compliments on my teeth & smile 

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- thrillers, some fiction, work-related stuff, self-help i.e. parenting, etc...
TV- I don't have cable but I will always find a way to keep up with Breaking Bad, Dexter, and Mad Men. I was sorely disappointed when Lie to Me ended. Also on a lighter note, reruns of Friends and I LOVE Archer. House of Cards is a new fave!

Movies- again thrillers, anything with a good twist. The Shining, The Perfect Host, The Lincoln Lawyer.

Music- almost all, but can't stand Kiss FM type pop music for the most part.
Food- Tex-Mex (clearly), sushi, Italian, don't eat fast food at all.

The six things I could never do without
1) & 2) are my 2 kids, obv.
Others would include
3) my iPhone
4) a good book
5) an inexpensive but good bottle of wine, and
6) hmmm...let me think about it.

I spend a lot of time thinking aboutWork, something new & fun to do on the weekend, what life would be like in the Mad Men era if I had to wear dresses & pantyhose to work every day...

On a typical Friday night I am
Either hanging out having pizza & movie night with my kids, or out socializing and having a few drinks with friends, or combining the 2- having my friends and their kids over for drinks and pizza!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In The six things I could never do without section when people put "Air! Water! Oxygen! Food!" or the like, I immediately think to myself, "well no ****?" (sorry- might as well know how my mind works early on )

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 29–42
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
You should message me if
If you have something more to say than "hey, what's up?"

If you include your name in your message.

If you answered the question "would you date someone with children from a previous relationship?" "YES," if I see a "NO" answer there I will not respond. My kids are very important to me and will always be my #1 priority 

Please be in the general Austin area.


----------



## whitehawk

I suppose there could be two sides to this. For example , Nowhere said he enjoyed it. So there you go , if you like Nowhere's then it could attract other Nowhere's which would be your type of guy and not the others that aren't.
Maybe that one special guy that does read the lot and relates to the type of person that would write that much, so that's a good thing too.

On the other hand though , if you like a different type of guy all together then most of those would move on, too much. And someone said he might think you talk too much, a real possibility.
Contrary to belief , most guys do love some depth , eventually, but personally I know for me , it's all the extras that may come with the depth that can make me tone it down. Guys tend to like things a bit more direct , to the point, particularly at the beginning.


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## EnjoliWoman

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Enjoli, you know I love you like a sister! I think it's WAY TOO LONG. Most guys are NOT going to read all that and they MAY assume that you TALK TOO MUCH because you wrote a lot. I get that you're trying to give them the full picture, but I think guys aren't going to get it. (But hey, I'm not a guy, what the hell do I know?) I'm suggesting you trim it down to the red.


OK - I see most of that is "dead wood" or TMI/scary (LOL) so one question - the part at the bottom is automatically filled in by my answering questions. Do you think I should cut out most of that or you are just emphasizing you like my "like to do" stuff?


----------



## EnjoliWoman

whitehawk said:


> I suppose there could be two sides to this. For example , Nowhere said he enjoyed it. So there you go , if you like Nowhere's then it could attract other Nowhere's which would be your type of guy and not the others that aren't.
> Maybe that one special guy that does read the lot and relates to the type of person that would write that much, so that's a good thing too.
> 
> On the other hand though , if you like a different type of guy all together then most of those would move on, too much. And someone said he might think you talk too much, a real possibility.
> Contrary to belief , most guys do love some depth , eventually, but personally I know for me , it's all the extras that may come with the depth that can make me tone it down. Guys tend to like things a bit more direct , to the point, particularly at the beginning.


Good point - although I don't think I WOULDN'T be contacted by guys like NoWhere if it was shorter. 

By shortening it and broadening the guys who DO read it, I am probably upping my chances of meeting someone. If I get nothing but one-liners in HIS profile (too little info to make any sort of judgement as to whether we would be compatible) I can always rule HIM out , but at least he isn't ruling ME out. 

I AM social and talkative but I'm very conscious of asking questions and not interrupting. I just happen to type 85wpm so I can keep up with my thoughts and write a lot of it.

Thanks for the feedback!


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

> EnjoliWoman
> the part at the bottom is automatically filled in by my answering questions


I would fix the stuff you know about, then take a critical look at the questions AUTOMATICALLY added by the website....

look with a discerning eye and see if it's TMI or if they're asking for 6 answers when 2 would suffice, or if it's just getting TOO long/involved overall!


----------



## NoWhere

I think whatever you choose to do EnjoliWoman you will be ok. Anyone who thinks that because you spent a lot of time on your profile and want to present a nice overall view of yourself that you talk to much is making a huge leap there. It won't hurt to shorten it though. I'd still see your picture and become interested. Then read your profile thoroughly before deciding to contact you. Regardless of how short or long it was I would contact you. Unless I just saw something in the profile I didn't like or made me feel we weren't compatible. But I'd rather know that before I contacted you rather then emailing and chatting back and forth to find out weeks later it wasn't going to work. If anything to me it shows you are energetic and fun. Some short profiles the women sound just plain boring. 

Also if you want a lot of potentials just start winking at all the guys you like on match. Its not unlady like and it still leaves them to make the first move by emailing you. I guarantee you will get a lot of men interested.

Again my philosophy is be yourself and you will attract the right men.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

> Single in TX
> I am not looking for someone to be physically attached to 24/7 and for someone who will freak out if I don't immediately text them back. I can't stand clingy, if you feel the need to shadow my every move we will not get along!


The problem with writing something like this is that it DOESN'T cull these guys out! Needy/clingy people don't think THEY'RE needy/clingy...they think they're "interested", "supportive", "wear their heart on their sleeve". So it doesn't occur to them that you're talking TO THEM!

It's like saying, 'I don't date psychos!' And the guy reading it says to himself, "Yeah, I hate those a-holes who think the neighbor's dog is talking to them! [while he adjusts his aluminum foil hat!].

Know what I'm saying? Makes you look demanding AND doesn't solve your problem either!


----------



## NoWhere

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> The problem with writing something like this is that it DOESN'T cull these guys out! Needy/clingy people don't think THEY'RE needy/clingy...they think they're "interested", "supportive", "wear their heart on their sleeve". So it doesn't occur to them that you're talking TO THEM!
> 
> It's like saying, 'I don't date psychos!' And the guy reading it says to himself, "Yeah, I hate those a-holes who think the neighbor's dog is talking to them! [while he adjusts his aluminum foil hat!]).
> 
> Know what I'm saying? Makes you look demanding AND doesn't solve your problem either!


I think you are right. Its the same thing as saying you don't want anyone who is dramatic. Its best just to leave that stuff out. Just try and find someone you enjoy talking to and being with. Then get to know them and go from there. No one knows what direction a relationship will go until they are in the middle of it. Just have fun, meet people and watch out for red flags.


----------



## SingleInTx

Ok TAM friends- I have cleaned up my profile quite a bit! Keep in mind that some of what I left in contains questions asked by the website  I think I've trimmed it down substantially to make it more easily digestible to people skimming through... let me know what you think! (I'm leaving out my basic info, height, age, etc because I obviously didn't change any of that). 

My self-summary
I'm sarcastic but good-natured, and try to find the humor in every situation in life when possible. I work very hard and love my career, but leave time for life outside of the office as well.

I am divorced with full custody of my 2 boys.

I lead a very busy and full life, and I am looking for someone to have fun and share experiences with, but not to BE somebody's whole life.

To sum it up, I'm just your average mid (late?) 20's girl who likes to work hard at my job, work out (gym or Crossfit), and then relax with a couple cold beers while hitting a volleyball around in the sand or having a rocks no salt margarita at any decent Tex-Mex place.

I can be happy doing just about anything if it's with family or friends- the company I'm with is much more important than what we're doing.

What I’m doing with my life
Working hard at my career which I love, and trying to introduce my kids to as many new experiences and different things in life as possible.

I’m really good at
Word games, making kids laugh, anything with a competitive edge.

The first things people usually notice about me
I always get compliments on my teeth & smile- thanks mom and dad for the braces in middle school 

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- Thrillers, work-related, some fiction.
TV- Breaking Bad, Dexter, Mad Men, House of Cards, reruns of Friends.
Movies- The Shining, The Lincoln Lawyer, The Perfect Host.
Music- almost anything, mood dependent.
Food- Tex-Mex, sushi, Italian, steak!

The six things I could never do without
1) My kids' smiles!
2) My true friends
3) my iPhone
4) a good book
5) an inexpensive but good bottle of wine
6) a workout that leaves me tired afterwards!

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Work, what I can get into over the weekend 

On a typical Friday night I am
Either hanging out having pizza & movie night with my kids, out socializing and having a few drinks with friends, or combining the 2- having my friends and their kids over for drinks and pizza!

I’m looking for
Guys who like girls
Ages 30-42
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if
You think we may click, you are kid-friendly, and you're in the general Austin area.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

I LIKE it, Single In TX!

It gives them a GOOD POSITIVE view of who you are and what you offer, and should make them want to learn MORE about you!

It's POSITIVE without being Pollyanna-ish! 

Go get 'em!


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## SingleInTx

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I LIKE it, Single In TX!
> 
> It gives them a GOOD POSITIVE view of who you are and what you offer, and should make them want to learn MORE about you!
> 
> It's POSITIVE without being Pollyanna-ish!
> 
> Go get 'em!


Thanks! I took some of the cues from your edited version, lol. I think being concise while still sharing enough info will make more people actually READ the darn thing...


----------



## NoWhere

SingleInTx:

Your not 'average'! .. How about "I'm a happy enthusiastic girl in my 20's'. Or 'energetic', 'free spirited', 'positive' etc.

Also you live a busy and full life. Or a Busy and fullfilling life?


----------



## SingleInTx

NoWhere said:


> SingleInTx:
> 
> Your not 'average'! .. How about "I'm a happy enthusiastic girl in my 20's'. Or 'energetic', 'free spirited', 'positive' etc.
> 
> Also you life a busy and full life. Or a Busy and fullfilling life?


NoWhere, duh- if I were average why should my profile stand out over others? I see "average" and "typical" way too often and it drives me nuts, but here I am doing the same thing :facepalm:

Try this on for size: 
I lead a very busy and fulfilling life, and I am looking for someone to have fun and share experiences with, but not to BE somebody's whole life.

I'm a generally positive, energetic girl who would like to end the decade of my 20's on a high note- I work to live and live to work out & relax with a couple cold beers while hitting a volleyball around in the sand or having a rocks no salt margarita at any decent Tex-Mex place.


----------



## NoWhere

SingleInTx said:


> NoWhere, duh- if I were average why should my profile stand out over others? I see "average" and "typical" way too often and it drives me nuts, but here I am doing the same thing :facepalm:
> 
> Try this on for size:
> I lead a very busy and fulfilling life, and I am looking for someone to have fun and share experiences with, but not to BE somebody's whole life.
> 
> I'm a generally positive, energetic girl who would like to end the decade of my 20's on a high note- I work to live and live to work out & relax with a couple cold beers while hitting a volleyball around in the sand or having a rocks no salt margarita at any decent Tex-Mex place.


Your doing it again.  Your 'generally' positive? That implies you are also negative a lot. No need to put that in there.

Though you do sound fun in your profile!! I'd have a margarita with ya!


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## brokendown77

That's much better SingleInTX! I'm sure you'll get more higher quality requests soon enough!


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## Freak On a Leash

:smthumbup: MUCH better Single In Texas. 

BTW, how old are your kids? I'd want to know that.


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## Deejo

Agree with ditch the 'average', and go big on declarations, positives and sound fun.

Lose anything wishy-washy or negative.


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## rose petal

This is another interesting thread! Please critique mine as well 

About Me:

I am an optimistic, happy person able to find the joys in life even in the worst cases. I have a good sense of humor and thoroughly enjoy a good laugh. I'm intelligent and enjoy intellectually stimulating conversations with others. I am kind, caring, and able to empathize with others. 

I like to explore new life adventures so that I do not grow stagnate as a person. I believe in life long growth. I am a kid at heart. Yes, if I see a child play with a toy, I would secretly like to try it out too!  I enjoy outdoor activities such as hiking, walking in nature. I want to do a lot of traveling in the future preferably with someone special by my side. 

I place high value in health and fitness. My exercise includes cardio alternating with weight lifting. Yes, a girl needs to weight lift too! I lift heavy for me  

I'm currently a full time graduate student in the health care field. I am very goal oriented and have found success in my own life. I admire the same quality in others. I would love to find a special friend whom we can enjoy each other's company and share lots of laughter!


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## Freak On a Leash

Rose, 

I like it. Short and sweet and you sound like a fun person that I'd like to get to know better and go on a hike with. You sound like a person I'd want to get to know better and as a friend as well. Isn't that what you really want to start a relationship? :smthumbup:

I think I like the profiles that focus on the positive aspects of your personality/lifestyle. List your interests and things you want to do with someone else. 

I'm not big on what you don't want. Be positive, rather than negative.


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## rose petal

Freak on a leash! 

Hi lady,

If you are really in Jersey Shore, then we must be awfully close to each other  It would be kind of nice to have a lady friend to go hiking with me


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## SingleInTx

Rose, you are so positive! I try but still come off cynical much of the time, lol. I think your profile sounds great- short, sweet, to the point. I would hang out with you! (As a female I wouldn't date you though, sorry  )


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## SingleInTx

Freak On a Leash said:


> :smthumbup: MUCH better Single In Texas.
> 
> BTW, how old are your kids? I'd want to know that.


In one of the "questions" I mention their ages  

And thank you! I always value your feedback/input!


----------



## brokendown77

rose petal said:


> This is another interesting thread! Please critique mine as well
> 
> About Me:
> 
> I am an optimistic, happy person able to find the joys in life even in the worst cases. I have a good sense of humor and thoroughly enjoy a good laugh. I'm intelligent and enjoy intellectually stimulating conversations with others. I am kind, caring, and able to empathize with others.
> 
> I like to explore new life adventures so that I do not grow stagnate as a person. I believe in life long growth. I am a kid at heart. Yes, if I see a child play with a toy, I would secretly like to try it out too!  I enjoy outdoor activities such as hiking, walking in nature. I want to do a lot of traveling in the future preferably with someone special by my side.
> 
> I place high value in health and fitness. My exercise includes cardio alternating with weight lifting. Yes, a girl needs to weight lift too! I lift heavy for me
> 
> I'm currently a full time graduate student in the health care field. I am very goal oriented and have found success in my own life. I admire the same quality in others. I would love to find a special friend whom we can enjoy each other's company and share lots of laughter!


This is a perfect length for a profile. Just enough info to get a sense of who you are and plenty to talk about when someone makes the first move. You give off a very positive attitude which is a plus. Really the only thing I might remove is the "I'm intelligent" part and just keep "I enjoy intellectually stimulating conversation." Maybe that is too nitpicky, but hey, you asked!


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Looks good! I can see how broken's feedback is good though.


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Sidenote - I see a lot of men my age (45) holding grandchildren. Really??? I don't want grandchildren for another 10 years! What was the rush? I guess it can happen but dang that makes me feel old. I was hoping for someone with kids YOUNGER than mine (14) so I could have that fun again.


----------



## rose petal

It's now corrected. Thank you guys


----------



## Freak On a Leash

rose petal said:


> Freak on a leash!
> 
> Hi lady,
> 
> If you are really in Jersey Shore, then we must be awfully close to each other  It would be kind of nice to have a lady friend to go hiking with me


Nah, I just like the MTV show. Not. :rofl: 

Seriously. I do live here. Yourself? The "East Coast" covers a lot of territory.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

EnjoliWoman said:


> Sidenote - I see a lot of men my age (45) holding grandchildren. Really??? I don't want grandchildren for another 10 years! What was the rush? I guess it can happen but dang that makes me feel old. I was hoping for someone with kids YOUNGER than mine (14) so I could have that fun again.


Are you sure those are grandchildren? :scratchhead: 45 seems awfully young for grandchildren. 

At least at the end of the day they can give them back to their parents.. I'd rather deal with a guy with grandchildren then children.


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Freak On a Leash said:


> Are you sure those are grandchildren? :scratchhead: 45 seems awfully young for grandchildren.
> 
> At least at the end of the day they can give them back to their parents.. I'd rather deal with a guy with grandchildren then children.


Well it was a recent picture of the guy and the child he was holding was a newborn and his profile said kids were grown. 

Oddly, I DO want other children. I just don't want to start from scratch and have more of my own.  I really would love to meet someone with kids the age of mine or younger. I had her at 30 - surely there are men my age who married someone 5 years younger and have kids around 10. Or a man who is 40 with younger kids. My ex was 42 when our daughter was born.

If it doesn't happen that's OK. I just sort of wanted more kids in my life. Not grandchildren, necessarily, though!


----------



## Pbartender

Freak On a Leash said:


> Are you sure those are grandchildren? :scratchhead: 45 seems awfully young for grandchildren.


I had my kids young enough that I could easily have grandchildren by the time I'm 45. For that matter, our kids made my MIL a grandmother by the time she was 45.


Pb.


----------



## geek down

ok.. I SUCK at writing about myself.. Anyone wanna take a hammer to my profile?? I've only gotten one good hit in about..oh...a year...

ok....Now don't everyone destroy me at once now..

"_Hey,
First off, I'm not going to play games. If I like you and you like me, I'm going to tell you straight up. Games just wastes time. What I am going to do is be upfront and honest, and I expect the same in return.

Little bit about me. I've lived in central mass for most of my life and I enjoy New England. I'm into cars, computers and all kinds of technology. I'm a pretty good cook too and I have two degrees in Culinary Arts. I've been called a jack of all trades. I usually know something about everything.

I'd like to get a house of my own in the next year or two. Big garden in the back; grapes for wine, Rhubarb for wine, Apples for cider. I brew my own beer and age my own wine. If you're a beer lover, then you need to brew your own. I also like tattoos. I have two; one on my right shoulder and a back peice that is no where near done. If you can guess what my back tattoo is, then I think we'll hit it off perfectly.

Cooking is one of my passions. I bake my own bread usually too. Once a month I make a big pan of eggplant parm from scratch. Thats usually the best day of the month, also the day I overeat. Music? I usually just put on Pandora when I'm cooking. Stations lists include; Pink Floyd, Warren Zevon, Sublime, Megadeth, Bob Dylan, Beatles, etc...

I'm a dependable, loyal and opinionated guy just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life I enjoy_
"


----------



## Freak On a Leash

:smthumbup: It sounds good to me! Too bad you don't live in NJ. 

I am wondering if you have kids or not..and what you like to do besides cook. :scratchhead:


----------



## geek down

Not sure about the kid part yet...

well..I'll be in ******* CT in a few weeks..thats alittle closer...

HOLY SHEEP SH!T!! I CAN'T TYPE M.A.D.I.S.O.N.???? WTF is wrong with M.A.D.I.S.O.N., CT?


----------



## Freak On a Leash

:rofl: :lol: I'm not sure about that town in CT (that IS bizarre! ) but I'm wondering why you aren't sure if you have kids or not..:scratchhead:


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

> geek_down
> I CAN'T TYPE M.A.D.I.S.O.N.???? WTF is wrong with M.A.D.I.S.O.N., CT?



Probably because of that Ash1eyMadis0n website for cheaters and hook-ups.

*


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> :rofl: :lol: I'm not sure about that town in CT (that IS bizarre! ) but I'm wondering why you aren't sure if you have kids or not..:scratchhead:


oh boy.... *Inhales DEEPLY*

in 2011 My wife said she hated me and I LITERALLY threw her out of the house...first time I stood up to her in that way..She came back a day later with her 'posse' to move out.. called the cops on me..

We tried R around July, but she just kept doing the same ole same ole.. So I told her we are done...We go back to MC in OCT and she moved back in in DEC. 

Wife came to me three months later saying shes pregnant..We made an agreement when we got married to have NO kids.. Her solution was she would get an abortion. Mine was open adoption if a mistake happened..She insisted on having an abortion..I have since been rendered medically unable to procreate!!!!!

She left the following saturday when I was at work.. stripped the house and bolted.. She tried to R, but I blocked her numbers and put her email in my spam filter.. Got a great divorce lawyer and drew up papers..

She had the kid in Dec and refuses to have a DNA test done.. REFUSES..says its not needed and makes every excuse possible.. My mother has seen the child 3 times and she says "Son, that kid doesn't look at THING like you...He looks...asian"


So..as you can see, I'm not quite sure if I have kids or not...The state is involved now that she is being investigated for fraud and I have challeneged the paternity...Just waiting on the court to order the test...


----------



## Freak On a Leash

The fact that she won't have a paternity test says a lot. Wow..that is majorly screwed up. You ex wife sounds like a real head case. 

So now you are looking to date? Who wouldn't want a man that cooks? :scratchhead: 

My idea of cooking is to put a Lean Cuisine in the microwave and hit the power button. :rofl:


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> The fact that she won't have a paternity test says a lot. Wow..that is majorly screwed up. You ex wife sounds like a real head case.
> 
> So now you are looking to date? Who wouldn't want a man that cooks? :scratchhead:
> 
> My idea of cooking is to put a Lean Cuisine in the microwave and hit the power button. :rofl:



apparently lotsa women..It seems to be they want the perfect looking male...But I do tend to attract younger women....much younger....so I guess cooking isn't the priority at 21-25...

I've dated two girls since my wife left in 2012..both were very short..Guess the game was more important to them then the end result..

I'm teaching my dad how to cook.. Its really cool actually and he's doing very well.. When I was a kid, he taught me soldering and computers and electronics...and now I'm teaching him how to debone chickens and saute onions.. Usually we have a movie on or talk geek while we do it..He does a MEAN baked scallop!


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

> geek down
> Anyone wanna take a hammer to my profile??


I've lived in central Mass for most of my life and I enjoy New England. [Why: scenery? weather? people?] I'm into cars, computers and all kinds of technology. 

I'm also an excellent cook as I have two degrees in Culinary Arts. [What specialties: saucier? baker?] Cooking is one of my passions. I bake my own bread and, once a month, I make a big pan of eggplant parmesan from scratch. I'd consider taking requests! 

I'm also interested in gardening! I'd like to get a house of my own in the next year or two and put a HUGE garden in the back with grapes and rhubarb for wine. I'd also like some apple trees, for cider. I brew my own beer and age my own wine. So, if you're a beer lover, then you need to try some of MINE! 

I've been called a jack of all trades. I usually know something about everything. [Do you build things? Rehab houses? Restore old cars? Refurb old bikes for kids? Examples would help.]

I like tattoos; I have two, one of which is a work-in-progress. My musical taste runs to Pink Floyd, Warren Zevon, Sublime, Megadeth, Bob Dylan, Beatles, etc...

I'm a dependable guy who's a little opinionated, and just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life that I enjoy.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

geek down said:


> apparently lotsa women..It seems to be they want the perfect looking male...But I do tend to attract younger women....much younger....so I guess cooking isn't the priority at 23-25...
> 
> I've dated two girls since my wife left in 2012..both were very short..Guess the game was more important to them then the end result..


Maybe you should just stay single and enjoy life? Seems like you've been through a lot. 

Seems that dating is really complicated these days. Everyone I talk to says the same thing..that is pretty much sucks. Isn't anyone out there just looking to relax and have a good time? :scratchhead:


----------



## geek down

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I've lived in central Mass for most of my life and I enjoy New England. [Why: scenery? weather? people?] I'm into cars, computers and all kinds of technology.
> 
> hmm..the culture and history of NE..plus where else can you see the second oldest enlisted naval vessel??
> I'm also an excellent cook as I have two degrees in Culinary Arts. [What specialties: saucier? baker?]
> Culinary Arts IS the degree..There is only a degree for that and baking..and Nutrition now, but I went straight Culinary
> Cooking is one of my passions. I bake my own bread and, once a month, I make a big pan of eggplant parmesan from scratch. I'd consider taking requests!
> 
> I'm also interested in gardening! I'd like to get a house of my own in the next year or two and put a HUGE garden in the back with grapes and rhubarb for wine. I'd also like some apple trees, for cider. I brew my own beer and age my own wine. So, if you're a beer lover, then you need to try some of MINE!
> 
> I've been called a jack of all trades. I usually know something about everything. [Do you build things? Rehab houses? Restore old cars? Refurb old bikes for kids? Examples would help.]
> I refurb computers, add custom mods such as time attacks and allowing unlicensed code. I also code video games for fun..My best one was I re-coded the entire Xbox360 Gears of War II(Gears of War II - Carmine's Revenge)into my own edition..changed all the physics, menus, scripts, weapons, enemies and features.....Others I've modded are Dead Space 1 and 2, Dante's Inferno, Mass Effect II and a full High Def conversion of Fallout New Vegas.. I do alittle car modification.. nothing serious..I rebuild old mechanical appliances(vending machine), Avid debater, even if I have to debate a side I don't agree with...I grow my own veggies when I can in my house..I have Basil, Eggplant, Tomatoes(no..REAL tomatoes..its not code for something else), cukes and collard greens...I do alittle electrical work, and alittle tile work. I teach culinary arts to my father twice a month...And in certain circles I am still known for a major hacking breach into a very well known and secure xbox360 facility..You know all those hacking programs and game saves you can resign and load for the xbox360?? Your welcome...That was my original crew...Miss those fools..I have raised my own animals for food...didn't care for the final step after forming a bond with the poor things..Thats about all I can think of right about now..
> 
> I like tattoos; I have two, one of which is a work-in-progress. My musical taste runs to Pink Floyd, Warren Zevon, Sublime, Megadeth, Bob Dylan, Beatles, etc...
> 
> I'm a dependable guy who's a little opinionated, and just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life that I enjoy.


Thanx for the input


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> Maybe you should just stay single and enjoy life? Seems like you've been through a lot.
> 
> Seems that dating is really complicated these days. Everyone I talk to says the same thing..that is pretty much sucks. Isn't anyone out there just looking to relax and have a good time? :scratchhead:


I AM enjoying life!! I've been 'alone' yet married for a very long time..Wife stayed at home or on the sidelines while I lived life.vacations..family events..sporting events..she was never really involving herself..We went to Disney once..Its no fun to go on the rides alone as your wife sits outside and waits.. But I figure what the hell...Plus I need to increase my circle of friends, so even if I don't find a date, I might strike up a nice conversation and have a new friend.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

Have you tried Meetup.com? I find that's a great way to get out, meet people who have common interests, mix and mingle the opposite sex, without the pressures of online dating.

Personally I wouldn't mind meeting someone myself but I have yet to meet anyone who really interests me.


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> Have you tried Meetup.com? I find that's a great way to get out, meet people who have common interests, mix and mingle the opposite sex, without the pressures of online dating.
> 
> Personally I wouldn't mind meeting someone myself but I have yet to meet anyone who really interests me.


funny...just signed up for that today!


----------



## Freak On a Leash

Meetup.com is where most of my socializing is. It's awesome! :smthumbup: I've met a lot of nice people and there's always something going on. Just pick some groups that reflect your interests. 

You'll find some groups are more active then others, do more interesting things, etc. It costs nothing to join so you might as well join a bunch and see which ones are for you.


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> Meetup.com is where most of my socializing is. It's awesome! :smthumbup: I've met a lot of nice people and there's always something going on. Just pick some groups that reflect your interests.
> 
> You'll find some groups are more active then others, do more interesting things, etc. It costs nothing to join so you might as well join a bunch and see which ones are for you.


I've been scanning whats in my area.. a few groups look cool and they have a regional singles 25-40 with a good amount of members..Could be cool..


----------



## Freak On a Leash

Just join a bunch that interest you and eventually you will settle on some "favorites". I am a member of about 5 different groups for socializing but I really only go to events in 2 or 3 of them at the most. That's how I get out and about and meet people. 

Then I have meetups for kayaking and hiking too, which are my big hobbies.

Most of the people I've met are really nice and welcome everyone. You get some idiots who are into the drama scene but I just avoid them. Just like any group I suppose. You got good people and not-so good. Mostly I've met good.

I rarely have a weekend where there isn't something good going on. In fact, if I wanted to I could go out every night of the week.


----------



## NoWhere

geek down said:


> First off, I'm not going to play games. If I like you and you like me, I'm going to tell you straight up. Games just wastes time. What I am going to do is be upfront and honest, and I expect the same in return.
> 
> Little bit about me. I've lived in central mass for most of my life and I enjoy New England. I'm into cars, computers and all kinds of technology. I'm a pretty good cook too and I have two degrees in Culinary Arts. I've been called a jack of all trades. I usually know something about everything.
> 
> I'd like to get a house of my own in the next year or two. Big garden in the back; grapes for wine, Rhubarb for wine, Apples for cider. I brew my own beer and age my own wine. If you're a beer lover, then you need to brew your own. I also like tattoos. I have two; one on my right shoulder and a back peice that is no where near done. If you can guess what my back tattoo is, then I think we'll hit it off perfectly.
> 
> Cooking is one of my passions. I bake my own bread usually too. Once a month I make a big pan of eggplant parm from scratch. Thats usually the best day of the month, also the day I overeat. Music? I usually just put on Pandora when I'm cooking. Stations lists include; Pink Floyd, Warren Zevon, Sublime, Megadeth, Bob Dylan, Beatles, etc...
> 
> I'm a dependable, loyal and opinionated guy just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life I enjoy[/I]
> "


I'd get rid of the 'I don't play games' part. Its kin to the dreaded 'I don't like drama'. Nobody is going to admit they play games and aren't straight to the point anyway. Plus it all kind of sounds like it stems from a bad previous relationship.

Also just my opinion. but I'd lose " I usually know something about everything". Sounds a little conceited.


----------



## Deejo

Phrases like "I don't play games" or "I'm not into drama." basically broadcast that you have been screwed over and are still smarting.

Just be advised should you wish to keep that language.


----------



## geek down

Deejo said:


> Phrases like "I don't play games" or "I'm not into drama." basically broadcast that you have been screwed over and are still smarting.
> 
> Just be advised should you wish to keep that language.


whats a way to spin it? I want to get it across that I don't do the dating games..never did...I'm very upfront and I will tell a person exactly whats on my mind..no signs, signals or winks.


----------



## geek down

NoWhere said:


> Also just my opinion. but I'd lose " I usually know something about everything". Sounds a little conceited.


This is a line I hear others say about me all the time though.....


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Geek -

I agree on the game part. First, it sounds off-putting and distrusting right from the beginning. Which makes you seem jaded and like someone doesn't have your trust - generally you should trust someone until they give you reason NOT to and that implies just the opposite.

If someone plays games they won't think it's THEM. Usually they just don't see things that way.

Maybe you could say: "I'm a straight-up kind of guy who tells it like it is in the kindest way possible" if that's true. Kind is important (or use the word tactful) because otherwise it sounds like you're the kind of guy who would say "Yeah, those jeans DO make you look damn fat!" vs. the guy who would say "Those aren't as flattering as the other pair".


----------



## EnjoliWoman

*[Do you build things? Rehab houses? Restore old cars? Refurb old bikes for kids? Examples would help.]*

You could make it fun, like say "I know just enough about a lot of things to be dangerous  " Some of my hobbies include refurbing electronics and appliances, code video games, work on cars, like to garden (for my cooking) and do home repair/improvement - basically if it's a challenge, I'll take it on."

That sounds a lot more interesting and varied.


----------



## Deejo

There is also the concept of 'framing'. At it's most basic it basically paints a scenario that enables someone to 'see' themselves with you.

A few lines in my profile that I recall a number of women either responding to via email, or even more so once we met was along the lines of:

"I like adventures both big and small, whether rafting the Colorado River, or getting your coffee just right on a lazy Sunday morning."

In some cases, personalizing an experience can play very well with some folks. I advise against overdoing it when referencing an unknown potential partner.

As for the game thing? Let the rest of your profile make it clear you aren't into games without having to write the words, "I'm not into games."

Such as, "I believe in operating with integrity." Or go for humor "I value honest, open communication ... even if I don't much like what you have to say."


----------



## geek down

thanx both of you...great ideas!!


----------



## geek down

Re-write.....

Hey,
I'm a straight-up kind of guy who tells it like it is in the kindest way possible. I value honest, open communication ... even if I don't much like what you have to say. .') 

Little bit about me. I've lived in central mass for most of my life and I enjoy New England. I know just enough about a lot of things to be dangerous. Learning new things I can use in everyday life is fun for me. Some of my hobbies include refurbing electronics and appliances, cars, gardening (for my cooking) and do home repair/improvement - basically if it's a challenge, I'll take it on. I'll be the first one to admit that sometimes I do bite off more than I can chew. Some jobs are just more fun and better with two..

I'd like to get a house of my own in the next year or two. Big garden in the back; grapes for wine, Rhubarb for wine, Apples for cider. I brew my own beer and age my own wine. If you're a beer lover, then you need to brew your own. I also like tattoos. I have two; one on my right shoulder and a back piece that is no where near done. If you can guess what my back tattoo is, then we'll hit it off perfectly. Anything can be an adventure or a memorable time with the right person to enjoy it....

Cooking is one of my biggest passions. I bake my own bread usually too. Once a month I make a big pan of eggplant parm from scratch. Thats usually the best day of the month, also the day I overeat. Whether over a nice plate of Ziti in Vodka sauce over candle-light or getting flour all over the place making ziti; food has a way of bringing people together. 

Music? I usually just put on Pandora when I'm cooking. Stations lists include; Pink Floyd, Warren Zevon, Sublime, Megadeth, Bob Dylan, Beatles, etc...

I'm a dependable, loyal and opinionated guy just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life I enjoy.


----------



## EnjoliWoman

I like.  That would make me interested and wonder if the differences were too different or just enough to make it interesting.


----------



## geek down

EnjoliWoman said:


> I like.  That would make me interested and wonder if the differences were too different or just enough to make it interesting.


I'll pick ya up at 8....dress warm!


----------



## Freak On a Leash

geek down said:


> I'm a dependable, loyal and opinionated guy just looking for someone that can enjoy the things in life I enjoy.


Hey Geek, I hear you used to play World of Warcraft. I'm ready to date you now.. :smthumbup:


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> Hey Geek, I hear you used to play World of Warcraft. I'm ready to date you now.. :smthumbup:


There's alot of things I used to do...

Easy girl, you don't have to hit the gas like that...Eager isn't sexy honey... 10 points for style baby, but minus a million for bad form!!:rofl:

I'm in the Capital Wastelands right now sniping Super Mutants with an M82A1 Barrett from over a mile away....Its so funny to see them all run to what was once their buddy....they start to walk away... BOOM!! HEADSHOT!!..

So much fun!!..


----------



## Freak On a Leash

geek down said:


> I'm in the Capital Wastelands right now sniping Super Mutants with an M82A1 Barrett from over a mile away....Its so funny to see them all run to what was once their buddy....they start to walk away... BOOM!! HEADSHOT!!..
> 
> So much fun!!..


Fallout 3, eh?


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> Fallout 3, eh?


Sorta... Tale of Two Wastelands...Its a mod that combines both games and their DLC..You start in the vault of Fallout 3... and then once the main story is done, you have an option to take a job as a courier in the mojave...then NV begins.. You can travel between the two and use companions from one in the other.. 

Its pretty cool..I have 12 NCR Rangers(hired at the Mojave Outpost) with me right now standing on the steps of the capital...6 .308 Remington sniper rifles, 4 M1A1 Thompsons, 1 portable FLAK88...and a AA12 loaded with flechettes....Their vertibird is doing strafeing runs from one end of the mall to the other....

OH!! and me with a .50 Barrett..

Modded the enemies so they keep respawning... and I enabled squad commands..

My rangers guard the capital, as I sniper from the washington monument...When I get tired of it, I'll drop a nuke from mothership Zeta in orbit...


Only way to play Fallout 3/NV...only way to level up...They get the kills...I get the exp..


Brotherhood of Steel...HA!! I gots a plasma shield and 3 squads of rangers....


----------



## Freak On a Leash

:lol::rofl: You haven't stopped playing WoW..You've just replaced it with other stuff..

You and my son have a lot in common...


----------



## geek down

Freak On a Leash said:


> :lol::rofl: You haven't stopped playing WoW..You've just replaced it with other stuff..
> 
> You and my son have a lot in common...


I can't modify WOW.....Can't bend it to my will

I used to be pretty big with xbox360 modding a few years back before I just lost the desire to code...Some of the old timers still know me well...but the newest generation of hackers probally have no idea who this grey bush is..S'ok..I made my mark, even if these new guys don't remember the old guys that made unsigned code and hacked saves possible..


----------



## EnjoliWoman

geek down said:


> I'll pick ya up at 8....dress warm!


Yeah, MA in winter? UG! 

ETA - But I did say I needed someone in IT or with techy knowledge to balance me out. I still haven't figured out how to make my wireless connection password protected and I *think* I have figured out how to connect the Wii to the internet so I can subscribe to NetFlicks. Now I just have to register.

I'm what IT people call "and end user".


----------



## geek down

EnjoliWoman said:


> I still haven't figured out how to make my wireless connection password protected


S'ok...I got all the protection we'll need...

Yeah, dress warm...Its cold walking out to the hot tub...


----------



## Freak On a Leash

EnjoliWoman said:


> Yeah, MA in winter? UG!


It's better than NJ. I'll bet they still have SNOW up there! I'm so bummed that there probably isn't any good skiing left this year. Here in NJ you get a few inches of wet snow, then it rains, the temperature rises and melts all the snow and it's just damp, cold and dreary. I hate it. 

I'm with you on the computer stuff. Fortunately I got a teenage daughter who seems to be a whiz at putting together computer stuff. Though she just called me to day to tell me her laptop is broken. That will be the THIRD computer I'll have to replace in the last 3 months if it's fried.


----------



## geek down

what kind of laptops are you buying and whats been the issues??


----------



## geek down

Well!!!! It looks like the new profile has gotten the attention of someone...Redhead, hazel eyes..really corny sense of humor.....oh boy...from the same hometown as my ex...here we go again...


----------



## ku1980rose

I've been away for a bit because my laptop was down, but Dell put a new harddrive in it and I'm back! Looking forward to catching up with everyone.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

Welcome back Rose! I hear ya on the hard drive in the Dell. To address that and answer Geek's question:

My daughter has a 3 year old Dell laptop and it keeps saying that "File C is corrupted" or something like that and it can't repair itself. I called my locak computer guru and they said it looks like the hard drive is crapping out.

So I'm bringing it in on Monday and going to have whatever on it saved to my external hard drive and make a decision about whether to fix it or buy her a new one. A college student not having a laptop isn't an option. 

I bought 2 PCs this year. One for myself to replace the dead 6 year old PC and IT'S hard drive got fried during Hurricane Sandy when we lost power numerous times. That was replaced under warranty. THEN my son's computer was being held hostage by his father (as it turns out THAT computer is now dead too :slap) so I bought HIM a gaming PC for Christmas and now it's my daughters.. :banghead:

My list of computer repairs/replacements is starting to look like our dental bills. I pay something off and then something new gets put on the bill...


----------



## geek down

get an SSD drive..Sounds like the laptop hit the floor or the table a few too many times...


----------



## ku1980rose

So, here are some things that I see waaaaay to often on guys' profiles:

"I'm new to this whole online dating thing"
"My friends said to give it a try, so why not?"
"I'm looking for my best friend"
"No drama"
"My friends and family tell me that I'm a nice guy":redcard:
"My family is important to me"
"I'm done with the bar scene"

And on profile questions:
How often do you exercise: 3-4 times a week.

You can't tell me that EVERY GUY exercises 3-4 times a week.


----------



## geek down

ku1980rose said:


> You can't tell me that EVERY GUY exercises 3-4 times a week.


Depends on your definition of exercise....


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

Those are pretty good, ku1980rose, but *I* like the ones that start off, "Maybe I should just LIE and say I have a million dollars and drive a Porsche because that's all that women go for ANYWAY." 

Oh yeah, Bub, let me hop on the 'Happy Train' with you! I'm sure we'll have a great time right after we pass through 'all women are users-ville', 'my ex is a harpy-land' and 'no-one gives me an even-break-town'. 

Wait....please, treat me like crap so *I* can 'prove' I'm better than all those previous women who didn't 'understand' you!!!!! Ugh! 

Not attractive physically and CERTAINLY not attractive personality-wise!

I think it would be fun to trade log-ins with someone of the opposite gender just so I can see what other women put in their profiles! ...and their pix (do they dress respectably or slvtty)...I'd like to see that, too! Wanna know what 'the competition' looks like! :rofl:

.


----------



## ku1980rose

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I think it would be fun to trade log-ins with someone of the opposite gender just so I can see what other women put in their profiles! ...and their pix (do they dress respectably or slvtty)...I'd like to see that, too! Wanna know what 'the competition' looks like! :rofl:
> 
> .


You can see on some sites. Just go in and put that you are a man seeking women. Go on like a new user and just do a search without signing up. Usually you can do that.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

Cool, thanks, ku1980rose!

I also saw a guy yesterday who had written that if he's not physically attracted to you then he's not interested. Then he posted the RANTINGS (textmessages) of some stupid be-yotch in whom he was not interested and she's GOING OFF ON HIM because he doesn't want to date her!!!! She was so insulting and out-of-line because he didn't want to go out with her!?! I was like WTH?

It was unbelievable! I *thought* only 23/24yo GUYS acted like such d1ckheads when you rejected them! I had NO IDEA the women would be so petty and stupid, too! That's what made me want to switch gender identities and poke around!


----------



## geek down

Are you kidding??

You don't know how often I see "I've had nothing but bad luck with online dating. There aren't any good men left. Prove me WRONG"

I see that...prove me wrong.. so much when talking about passed dates from dating sites...


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

I LOVE that....."prove me wrong"!

Yeah, go ahead and punish ME for the sins of others! Let me take your abuse just to SHOW YOU how 'different' I am!!

How about if you PROVE you're not a demanding, drama-filled, be-yotch!

This be-yotch (textmessages) was RIDICULOUS! "I bet you don't REALLY work out 3-4 times a week" (the guy had muscles you wouldn't believe), "you're shallow and emotionally immature" "your tattoos are ugly and stupid-looking". Her rantings were petulant, her spelling was atrocious....she just appeared to be an ignorant, low-class mess! Yeah, imagine ANYONE missing out on a real TREAT like her! Ugh!


----------



## geek down

I'm no prize myself sometimes, but the 'prove me wrong' line hits me one of two ways depending on the rest of the summary. 

One girl that had that at the end had a huge summary about herself that was so self-deprecating. Called herself boring and listless, while in the same sentence saying she calls herself that because she'd rather stay in and paint then go out to a bar or rave and get drunk. She kinda used it as a dig on herself that she's really not boring..

However the majority is.. 'all the guys want is sex and thats it..prove me wrong"... I read that now and I'm halfway to the back button before I get to the 'me'.


----------



## ku1980rose

A guy contacted me yesterday and started it out with

"I don't want any drama. I've been cheated on too many times."

Ok. Buh-Bye.

I'm not interested in hearing your sob story. If you have to put all that on here, then you are obviously not over your past.

To make a good profile, I think you need to be positive and show some self-confidence! Just like in real life. Nobody wants to be with someone who has no self-confidence. (Well, maybe some people do.) My ex lacked self-confidence. He was a "nice guy", but about the time of the wedding I started to see how he just let the world walk all over him and I quickly started losing respect for him. And then he'd get down on himself and put himself down.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

geek & rose:

Yeah, sometimes I can't get to the "back" button FAST ENOUGH !


----------



## geek down

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> geek & rose:
> 
> Yeah, sometimes I can't get to the "back" button FAST ENOUGH !


I get a good laugh out of some of these ladies...Some are not even trying to hide the fact that they are just looking to get pregnant for a kid... 

One was... I want to be a mother....

THAT...WAS...IT...


----------



## EnjoliWoman

geek down said:


> I get a good laugh out of some of these ladies...Some are not even trying to hide the fact that they are just looking to get pregnant for a kid...
> 
> One was... I want to be a mother....
> 
> THAT...WAS...IT...


----------



## Pbartender

geek down said:


> I get a good laugh out of some of these ladies...Some are not even trying to hide the fact that they are just looking to get pregnant for a kid...
> 
> One was... I want to be a mother....
> 
> THAT...WAS...IT...


Heh... And here I am with a vasectomy that I don't have to tell anyone about.

:FIREdevil:


Pb.


----------



## diwali123

Can we talk about bad profile pictures? Some of the guys just had no sense! I don't want to see you with dead animals, hooters girls, or in your wedding tux with your ex cut out of the picture!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EnjoliWoman

Or the ones who never smile that makes me think:
a) you're negative
b) you have nasty teeth
c) you are a serial killer
d) you're stupid for thinking the fake 'tough guy' look is working, doofus


----------



## whitehawk

diwali123 said:


> Can we talk about bad profile pictures? Some of the guys just had no sense! I don't want to see you with dead animals, hooters girls, or in your wedding tux with your ex cut out of the picture!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Believe me the girls are no better , worse I think.
I've seen everything from the back of her head , to laying down on a couch with her legs open - nope that wasn't a sex quickie club , it was an ordinary dating site. To dirty old crap wrinkled up clothes you wouldn't see your grandma in , to laying on the floor looking up at the camera from 3yds away , to 6 pics all of the same shot , to the worst facial angles they could've possibly found .
To llaying on the couch like a slob.
A lot of them haven't even brushed their hair , or even washed it in weeks by the look and I don't mean going a grunge look either.
I [email protected] you not honestly , I can't even remember some of the real shockers right now.
Thankfully though , some are also great.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser

I couldn't stand the ones with an unidentified woman in the picture and you're left scratching your head....

she's TOO OLD to be a daughter!
is she a sister?
ex-wife?
ex-girlfriend?
co-worker?
platonic friend from childhood?

You know what? At THAT point, I really don't care! I think 'If you're too obtuse to figure out how confusing and BAD that looks to strangers considering DATING YOU, then I don't think you're savvy enough to date me!'


----------



## ku1980rose

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I couldn't stand the ones with an unidentified woman in the picture and you're left scratching your head....
> 
> she's TOO OLD to be a daughter!
> is she a sister?
> ex-wife?
> ex-girlfriend?
> co-worker?
> platonic friend from childhood?
> 
> You know what? At THAT point, I really don't care! I think 'If you're too obtuse to figure out how confusing and BAD that looks to strangers considering DATING YOU, then I don't think you're savvy enough to date me!'


Totally agree with this one.:iagree:

And if they are standing with a woman who is physically fit and very good looking, then I wonder "what will they think of me?" I also wonder if they are sharing this picture to show everyone that they can get a hot girl.


----------



## muskrat

I have no idea how to create a good profile. I will say that many of the complaints that the women here are making (pics. of yourself with a woman), many women do the same thing (pics. with men). I have seen pics of women in their wedding dress, some didn't even bother to cut their ex out of the pic.


----------



## angelpixie

MR, whaddaya mean? Several of us gave you ten tons of good ideas for your photos a few months ago. Dude, I'm hurt.


----------



## muskrat

Pics aren't the problem AP, I never know what to write.


Maybe we are past due for another fashion intervention. :rofl:

Every women I have met from match just wants a fwb. A few even asked if we could just have sex after I told them they aren't my type and a relationship would never work.
And people say all men are dogs. :scratchhead: These woman were worse then a 17 year old boy on prom night. :rofl:


----------



## diwali123

Haha, I hate the baseball cap pics and the ones that were really far away. 
What I really hated about dating sites is that every guy claimed to be out doorsy and had twenty different "guy" hobbies and claimed to love to travel. And they we're looking for a woman who is comfortable in a T shirt and jeans but also likes to dress up for a nice night on the town. 

Why do so many guys say that? Are there a lot of women who just say no to looking nice and don't enjoy a nice restaurant?


----------



## diwali123

Yep I know, it's just wrong. I don't mind men who like to fish; I like it too. But it's not romantic. 
I actually had a guy send me a picture of him sitting on a dead deer. And this was a cute guy! 
I wish I could be a dating coach or a match maker or a professional online dating profile coach. 
Have you had any good experiences with those sites?


----------



## angelpixie

Satya said:


> Oh yeah forgot.... FISHING pics. What are you guys saying here?
> 
> "The size of the trout is relative to the size of....... "
> 
> "Don't worry baby, we'll never go hungry."
> 
> "Rooooooaaarrrrr! Me fish, you cook!"
> 
> "I fish. Deal with it."
> 
> Now I know some women who love to fish, but I can't say that a guy holding a giant, dead fish in his sexy fishing gear is going to reel me in.


This drives me so crazy that I started a whole thread in Social about it last year, lol. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/social-spot/44896-your-dating-site-photo.html

As I posted the link, I realized it was almost exactly a year ago!


----------



## Freak On a Leash

diwali123 said:


> .
> What I really hated about dating sites is that every guy claimed to be out doorsy and had twenty different "guy" hobbies and claimed to love to travel. And they we're looking for a woman who is comfortable in a T shirt and jeans but also likes to dress up for a nice night on the town.


I'd like to find a guy like this but I wonder if they are for real. Are they just trying to cover up the fact that they want to be home in bed by 11 and their idea of "traveling" or a night out is to go to the nearby Red Box and back? :scratchhead: :rofl:

I have a friend who signs up for every meetup event out there and is always looking for women 15 years younger than him. He told me that the last woman he dated (15 years his junior) didn't work out because he wanted to have a "traditional" relationship and stay home at night and watch TV and she still wanted to go out to bars and go out every night. :wtf:

So why is he surprised by this when he is out trolling for women 15 years younger than he is? And he's making it look like he's a party animal only to spring the "I want to stay home and watch a movie" on them? THEN he wonders why they reject him? Misrepresentation is bound to bite one in the as$ sooner than later so why do it? :scratchhead:


----------



## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> Every women I have met from match just wants a fwb. A few even asked if we could just have sex after I told them they aren't my type and a relationship would never work.
> And people say all men are dogs. :scratchhead: These woman were worse then a 17 year old boy on prom night. :rofl:


:lol::rofl: Well, what can we say? We're damn horny!   Personally I wouldn't have sex with anyone after meeting them just once. That's not my style at all and never has been but if I connected with a guy as a friend and was attracted to him physically then why not? 

I personally do not want a committed relationship at all. I don't want to be tied down but a FWB would be awesome! :smthumbup: I think a LOT of women out there feel the same way.


----------



## whitehawk

Well , today l had a girl send me a kiss with an email
that just said "tell one interesting fact about yourself"
l wrote back and said how about this one.
"Go fk yourself"
l think l'm done with online dating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ku1980rose

diwali123 said:


> . But it's not romantic.
> I actually had a guy send me a picture of him sitting on a dead deer. And this was a cute guy!


In my area, this is very common to see. For me, I actually don't mind one picture of him hunting. I enjoy hunting and fishing and would LOVE to be taken on a fishing date!  My ex-h and I went hunting and fishing together a lot. 

However, it's not for everyone and I could see where it would be a huge turnoff. 

If there are multiple pics of him hunting, then I feel like maybe he's just WAY into his hunting. I've been with guys that wouldn't miss a day of hunting season for anything! Even if it meant missing out on something that was very important to me.

The pics that turn me off are when guys have multiple pictures of their hot rods or their motorcycles. However, I know of girls that live and die for that, too. So, at least they are showing us what really interests them. 

For some guys, they aren't going to want to date you unless you are interested in their hobby.


----------



## muskrat

If a woman posted a pic of herself hunting or fishing, she would be one of the first I would write too.
Why is it so difficult to find a member of the opposite sex that enjoys the same things we do?


----------



## jpr

muskrat said:


> If a woman posted a pic of herself hunting or fishing, she would be one of the first I would write too.
> Why is it so difficult to find a member of the opposite sex that enjoys the same things we do?


Ohhhh, Muskrat.

This made me laugh out loud.

Hahahaha.


----------



## angelpixie

whitehawk said:


> Well , today l had a girl send me a kiss with an email
> that just said "tell one interesting fact about yourself"
> l wrote back and said how about this one.
> "Go fk yourself"
> l think l'm done with online dating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow, really?! Was this someone you'd had contact with already, or just someone out of the blue?


----------



## muskrat

jpr said:


> Ohhhh, Muskrat.
> 
> This made me laugh out loud.
> 
> Hahahaha.


See I can provide dinner and a laugh, what more would a woman want.


----------



## unsure78

muskrat said:


> See I can provide dinner and a laugh, what more would a woman want.


Muskrat you are wonderful


----------



## muskrat

Thanks Unsure.
Just waiting for Ms. self entitled to throw me back, then maybe I will let some lucky lady reel me in. :rofl:
If only she would sign the papers already!


----------



## jpr

hahahha...was that a fishing reference, Muskrat?

That made me think of 'fishoflauge'.

...because it is important to be stealthy when hunting fish.


----------



## whitehawk

angelpixie said:


> Wow, really?! Was this someone you'd had contact with already, or just someone out of the blue?


Nope , didn't know her. And l know that sounds harsh but
l dunno. To me it's like so why the hell would l waste
my time doing that - who the hell are you youknow !

l dunno , maybe it's just me but l just find it's as if they're
sitting up on their throne ticking us all off as they go through
their pile of resumes .
I'd like to see how much ticking off opportunity they really
have out in the real world. Most of them with that attitude
have been alone for years and usually aren't even much
to look at yet l dunno. They get on there and it's like they're
queen of Sheeba.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jpr

whitehawk said:


> Nope , didn't know her. And l know that sounds harsh but
> l dunno. To me it's like so why the hell would l waste
> my time doing that - who the hell are you youknow !
> 
> l dunno , maybe it's just me but l just find it's as if they're
> sitting up on their throne ticking us all off as they go through
> their pile of resumes .
> I'd like to see how much ticking off opportunity they really
> have out in the real world. Most of them with that attitude
> have been alone for years and usually aren't even much
> to look at yet l dunno. They get on there and it's like they're
> queen of Sheeba.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


...maybe online dating isn't the right venue for you. It seems like your mind is a bit closed to getting to know people through this venue.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

whitehawk said:


> Well , today l had a girl send me a kiss with an email
> that just said "tell one interesting fact about yourself"
> l wrote back and said how about this one.
> "Go fk yourself"
> l think l'm done with online dating.


:iagree:  Damn..Yeah..I think you need a time out dude.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> If a woman posted a pic of herself hunting or fishing, she would be one of the first I would write too.
> Why is it so difficult to find a member of the opposite sex that enjoys the same things we do?


I love doing outdoors stuff. For me, it would be a "must have" in any relationship with anyone I might get involved with. 

Re fishing and hunting:My ex fished on Lake George all the time. We had a 22' Crestliner fishing boat that we kept up there. I've gone fishing quite a bit on the ocean as well, mostly for bluefish, sometimes fluke. 

I enjoy it. Mostly I just chill out, drink some beer or wine, relax and enjoy the outdoors. Anything on the water, that gives me an excuse to go camping is awesome. You can combine fishing with camping. My son and his father often fished while my daughter would just hang out. I loved to drive the boat. :smthumbup:

Never did go hunting but I could see trying it. I don't get squeamish about stuff like that. As long as someone is willing to take a stab at hiking, kayaking, etc. Nice thing is that all this outdoorsy stuff is pretty much interchangeable.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

ku1980rose said:


> The pics that turn me off are when guys have multiple pictures of their hot rods or their motorcycles. However, I know of girls that live and die for that, too. So, at least they are showing us what really interests them.


I used to race cars. I had a Mustang GT convertible and a Miata. I would also take them on road trips, modify them, show them, etc. I was BIG into motorsports racing and then 4 wheeling with my Jeep. Wouldn't mind getting into motorcycles either. I think bikes are totally cool.



> For some guys, they aren't going to want to date you unless you are interested in their hobby.


Not just guys. After 20+ years of doing things without my ex husband I'm not going a second round with another guy. I don't want someone who is my shadow but I would like to be with someone who at least shares SOME of my interests and hobbies and I'm open to sharing theirs as well.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> See I can provide dinner and a laugh, what more would a woman want.


Ok. Where in Pennsylvania are you?  



muskrat said:


> .
> 
> If only she would sign the papers already!


A mere formality.


----------



## angelpixie

whitehawk said:


> Nope , didn't know her. And l know that sounds harsh but
> l dunno. To me it's like so why the hell would l waste
> my time doing that - who the hell are you youknow !
> 
> l dunno , maybe it's just me but l just find it's as if they're
> sitting up on their throne ticking us all off as they go through
> their pile of resumes .
> I'd like to see how much ticking off opportunity they really
> have out in the real world. Most of them with that attitude
> have been alone for years and usually aren't even much
> to look at yet l dunno. They get on there and it's like they're
> queen of Sheeba.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


....ooooorr maybe she was just trying a novel way of getting your attention and learning about you, since she's competing with a gajillion other women on the same dating site....

**backs away slowly while looking for a trip wire**


----------



## Freak On a Leash

I think Whitehawk has some seriously unresolved anger and resentment issues. :scratchhead:

If something gives you THIS much anger then you need to take a break. Dating is supposed to be fun. When it becomes "work" it's a four letter word. 

I think the girl was just trying to break the ice and she got caught in an avalanche instead! :BoomSmilie_anim:


----------



## muskrat

Freak On a Leash said:


> Ok. Where in Pennsylvania are you?
> 
> 
> 
> A mere formality.


I will pass on giving my exact location on here. Having said that, I have seen you post often about hiking and having to travel to do so. If you get a chance visit Ricketts Glen state park. They have a falls trail there, there are 33 waterfalls along the trail. You hike down the mountain and then back up, the trail makes a big circle around the mountain. They also have a beach and campsites in the park.
I haven't hiked the trail in a few years, my kids would never be able to do it and I can't carry both of them the whole way. They are growing up though and pretty soon I will take them for a hike. 
As a side note. I do not live near the park, I do have a hunting cabin about 10 min. from the park however. Well not really a cabin, more of a second house. I have running water and indoor plumbing there, not exactly roughing it.
If you ever decide to venture there and need a hiking buddy, let me know. In fact I will be up there this weekend. 
I camped in a tent and spent 10 days hiking in the Rocky Mountains. I can tell you I didn't climb anything out west that was more challenging then where I go in northern PA. The only real difference was the elevation.


----------



## angelpixie

Freak On a Leash said:


> Ok. Where in Pennsylvania are you?





muskrat said:


> I will pass on giving my exact location on here.


*whispers* Pssst, Muskrat. That's what PM's are for.


















muskrat said:


> As a side note. I do not live near the park, I do have a hunting cabin about 10 min. from the park however. Well not really a cabin, more of a second house. I have running water and indoor plumbing there, not exactly roughing it.


So what time will you be expecting her?


----------



## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> Having said that, I have seen you post often about hiking and having to travel to do so. If you get a chance visit Ricketts Glen state park. They have a falls trail there, there are 33 waterfalls along the trail. You hike down the mountain and then back up, the trail makes a big circle around the mountain. They also have a beach and campsites in the park.
> I haven't hiked the trail in a few years, my kids would never be able to do it and I can't carry both of them the whole way. They are growing up though and pretty soon I will take them for a hike.
> As a side note. I do not live near the park, I do have a hunting cabin about 10 min. from the park however. Well not really a cabin, more of a second house. I have running water and indoor plumbing there, not exactly roughing it.
> If you ever decide to venture there and need a hiking buddy, let me know. In fact I will be up there this weekend.
> I camped in a tent and spent 10 days hiking in the Rocky Mountains. I can tell you I didn't climb anything out west that was more challenging then where I go in northern PA. The only real difference was the elevation.


Hmm..I'd love to spend 10 days hiking/camping in the Rockies. Haven't been out there in years. Mostly I hike/camp in the Catskills and Delaware River area. I should take you up on heading out there..

Seems like it's just northwest of Hazleton. I used to go wheeling up there all the time. It's about 3 hours from where I live. It's also not far from Jim Thorpe, where I've gone white water rafting/kayaking on the Lehigh. Nice country! :smthumbup:

I'll have to check out that park. The trails sound really cool to hike on and there's camping too! Definitely sounds like a place I'd want to check out! 

3 hours is about what I have to drive to get ANYWHERE that's fairly scenic. 2 hours at the very least. It's the downside of living here in NJ and one reason I want to relocate in a few years. I want to be able to actually LIVE someplace and be able to step outside and do what I want to do.  I envy you for having a house to go to. 

I've tried to get my 18 year daughter into hiking. I got her up to the Shawangunk mountains near New Paltz last October and just about killed her. It was only a 6 mile hike and I avoided all the big rock scrambles. We stuck to carriage roads mostly. Guess it was a good thing I spared her the usual stuff I hike on. 

I'm getting the urge to do this stuff again...I really love hiking and camping. :smthumbup:

See, there are women who like doing this sort of stuff! The ironic thing is that if you saw my pic on a dating site you'd NEVER figure that I like doing this sort of stuff. I don't look like it at all.


----------



## muskrat

Freak, If you decide to try the park out, go to The Central Park Hotel for dinner. They have the best steaks and the seafood is pretty good also. There is a mountain road that goes from the park entrance straight to the Hotel. That road is closed right now since a bridge washed out, but it only takes about 10 minutes to go around the mountain on the blacktop.
Also, while in the area check out the Sullivan Falls and the Adams Falls. It is a really scenic area. Between the park and State game lands there are over 100,000 contiguous acres of forest. Plenty of areas to hike and yes they have campsites in the park. They also rent cabins in you would rather not sleep in a tent.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

I always want to sleep in a tent. I have several, ranging from a small backpacking/kayak camping tent to my Big Agnes Big House 4 with the built in vestibule. :smthumbup:

Yeah..I'm really into my camping gear.  I'm definitely putting this on my list. Kinda gets old going to the same places over and over again.

Last year I spent my birthday weekend camping, hiking and mountain biking up in the Gunks. Right down the road from my campground is this great town full of restaurants and shops. I would go for a hike, stop by for dinner and then chill out by the fire. Great way to get a year older. 

All this chatting about camping is starting to get me charged up to do it again soon. It's been a looonnnggg winter with all the lousy weather we've gotten lately.


----------



## muskrat

I expect a trip report! The only thing I worry about is I have talked the area up and I hope it meets your expectations.
If you haven't noticed I am passionate about that area. There is a volunteer habitat improvement group there and somehow even though I live 2 hours away, I ended up on the board of directors and I seem to be one of the most active members.
I have talked about it to much now and Friday can't get here soon enough. I will watch the sun rise sat. from somewhere in those mountains and with any luck I will walk out of the woods carrying my Thanks Giving dinner.


----------



## muskrat

I took my avatar pic. from on top of the rockies. That is Idaho you are looking at there. I was there in 2009. 
My next adventure will be to Wyoming, Montana or Alaska. Some this may have to wait a few years until my kids grow up.


----------



## angelpixie

Let me know when you're headed to MT, MR.


----------



## Freak On a Leash

I like to explore new areas. I've wheeled in and skied in Pennsylvania but haven't camped/hiked there. It would be new and different. Usually I'm going up to New York State or out to the western part of NJ.

I totally hear you on the camping and how great it is. I take it you camp alone? I do as well, which blows most people's minds ("Aren't you SCARED? Don't you get LONELY?") but I like it. I love to spend the day hiking or kayaking and come back to camp and relax by the fire and often spend days camping on my own. I'm quite content to do this. 

Problem is around these parts it's too damn CROWDED. It's one reason I take off Thursday and Fridays. I try and camp during the week and head home when others head out. The few times I've camped on weekends I've regretted it because of the obnoxious crowds. In fact, I'm thinking that sooner rather than later I'd better get off my butt and go camping because before you know it, the summer crowds will invade. 

I'm so sick of the east coast crowds. I intend to not just visit places like Idaho, Montana, Oregon but MOVE out there so I can finally be where I want to be all the time. 

But like you I have to wait for my kids to get on their own. 3-4 years.


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## muskrat

angelpixie said:


> Let me know when you're headed to MT, MR.


could be happening pretty soon, maybe this fall. I need to get this divorce settled and get our custody situation settled.
For the last week or so I have had the song "meet me in Montana" running through my head constantly. I don't know who is supposed to meet me there, but it is a sweet song.
Two years ago when the poop really hit the fan, my ex took my kids and went to the beach with her parents for a week. I had my truck loaded down and was ready to just leave everything behind. I sat on my deck at 3 in the morning talking myself into staying. I am glad I stayed, I never could have forgiven myself for leaving my kids behind. As it turned out they really needed me. At the time they were both very attached to mommy (she was a stay at home mom). But my how things have changed. They would be lost without me.


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## angelpixie

I'm glad you stayed for them, too, sweetie. Things will work out for you, don't worry.


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## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> Two years ago when the poop really hit the fan, my ex took my kids and went to the beach with her parents for a week. I had my truck loaded down and was ready to just leave everything behind. I sat on my deck at 3 in the morning talking myself into staying. I am glad I stayed, I never could have forgiven myself for leaving my kids behind. As it turned out they really needed me. At the time they were both very attached to mommy (she was a stay at home mom). But my how things have changed. They would be lost without me.


Sounds like we have some things in common. I was in this exact same situation years ago. I packed up my van and was all ready to leave. I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave my kids behind. This was about 10 years ago, I was a mess financially and emotionally. My ex husband was the one taking care of the kids. They were much more attached to him than to me. I was on the outside looking in, not knowing what to do with myself or how to fix things. 

But I stuck it out and stayed and am glad I did. I resolved to fix myself and did just that and turned myself around. Now, 10 years later the situation is almost completely reversed. It is I who is the main caretaker for our kids. I can't imagine not having them in my life. It is my ex husband whose life has fallen apart. 

It's a good thing they have me because their alcoholic father has pretty much turned their back on them. I am dedicated to being here as long as it takes for them to become well adjusted, independent adults. When that time comes then I will live my life as I want, but not before then. 

It will be all the more sweeter when I do strike out and pursue my dreams because I will have earned the right to do so. 

But I know how it is to want to be someplace else so badly and feel the frustration of not being able to be there. Soon....

Until then, I'll just do what I can to fill in the blanks and enjoy what I have.


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## Freak On a Leash

Muskrat, how old are your kids?


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## whitehawk

angelpixie said:


> ....ooooorr maybe she was just trying a novel way of getting your attention and learning about you, since she's competing with a gajillion other women on the same dating site....
> 
> **backs away slowly while looking for a trip wire**


You think. Hey l wonder then if she'd let me change that
to come and fk me instead of go fk yourself.
Or do you think l might've blown that one! Sorry no 
witle faces to stick there on the mobile ph version so
l'll insert "grin" here !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whitehawk

Freak On a Leash said:


> :iagree:  Damn..Yeah..I think you need a time out dude.


Yeah heaps of patience right now hey !
Hey , might change me profile caption to " don't [email protected] me "
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## muskrat

Freak On a Leash said:


> Muskrat, how old are your kids?


DD is 6 soon to be 7 and DS is 4.
It has taken way less then 10 years for the roles to completely flip. It only took a year. For the last year now I have been the primary caretaker. I take them to school, all extra activities, etc... Their mother is to busy with herself to bother. On more then one occasion she has seen DD only 1 day in a 2 week time frame. Of course that hasn't stopped her from filing for child support. 
The cabin is paid for and I already have a addition under roof. My plan if I don't lose the place in the divorce, is to remodel and spend the next 14 years making it my dream home. Then once both kids are adults, I'm out of here. I will move into the mountains. I will still be close enough for regular visits, but I will live in nature.


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## angelpixie

MR -- only one time in two weeks? That's horrible!! Your DD must be so hurt.


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## muskrat

DD hardly ever sees her mom. Her mother has been to 2 girl scout functions in 2 years, 1 pioneer club function (and I had to sign her up and fill out all the forms just so she would go), 0 kids choir rehearsals and has managed to forget to pick her up twice from school. I handle 80% of to and from school also, so it's not like she has a ton of responsibility. I also pay her $400 a month in child support and she is sueing me for more. Now tell me our court system is fair?


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## muskrat

sorry, didn't mean to kill this thread. I'll keep my divorce comments on my own thread from now on. 

Now where are all the mountain women looking for a mountain man? :rofl:


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## jpr

Here..I googled it for you, Muskrat.

It's just one state away too! Totally do-able....if you know what I mean. 

Mountain Man Lucky Lovers


There is also a site for farmers only...."because city-folk just don't understand" :smcowboy:

Farmers Only--Meet 1000s of Down to Earth Country Folk


Enjoy the smorgasbord of love.


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## angelpixie

Ohh, I'm gonna sig that line, jpr:

Enjoy the smorgasbord of love. 



Yesssss...


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## Freak On a Leash

muskrat said:


> DD is 6 soon to be 7 and DS is 4.
> It has taken way less then 10 years for the roles to completely flip. It only took a year. For the last year now I have been the primary caretaker. I take them to school, all extra activities, etc... Their mother is to busy with herself to bother. On more then one occasion she has seen DD only 1 day in a 2 week time frame. Of course that hasn't stopped her from filing for child support.


:slap: Great..another deadbeat Mom. And who suffers? The kids. They are lucky to have you. Good thing you stayed! I know you have a thread in another section so I'll look it up to get the background info. 

I will say this: You have a bit of a haul before the kids are old enough to be on their own. I know where you are coming from though because your plan is MY plan as well. 

I want to move out to mountain country, be able to step outside my door and hike, kayak, camp, ski, etc. I want to live where there is actually a WINTER and not have to be surrounded by people, strip malls, construction zones and housing developments. 

In 3-4 years I hope to do that. My daughter is 18, my son is 15 so it's very close. Once my son graduates from high school I'm going to start formulating a game plan. He has indicated a career in the military interests him (he's not college material). My daughter will be graduating from college. I don't know where I'm going, I guess I'll know when I get there.


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## Freak On a Leash

jpr said:


> Here..I googled it for you, Muskrat.
> 
> It's just one state away too! Totally do-able....if you know what I mean.
> 
> Mountain Man Lucky Lovers


:lol: :smthumbup: That is so awesome!


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## muskrat

jpr said:


> Here..I googled it for you, Muskrat.
> 
> It's just one state away too! Totally do-able....if you know what I mean.
> 
> Mountain Man Lucky Lovers
> 
> 
> There is also a site for farmers only...."because city-folk just don't understand" :smcowboy:
> 
> Farmers Only--Meet 1000s of Down to Earth Country Folk
> 
> 
> Enjoy the smorgasbord of love.




Thanks JPR.
Maybe I will find a real mountain woman. Complete with her one sexy tooth and more facial hair then myself. :rofl:


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## angelpixie

muskrat said:


> Thanks JPR.
> Maybe I will find a real mountain woman. Complete with her one sexy tooth and more facial hair then myself. :rofl:


So you're talking about something like this:









When you say 'mountain woman,' I was thinking more of this:


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## whitehawk

Here's one for ya , gotta laugh really.

I've pretty well checked out lately of the site I was on but they still send me through my so called scientific matches a few times a week.
So much for science , man has there been some shockers in there.

Anyway yesterday one came through - called " Pretty Girl " .
I thought to myself well , it's about fkg time .

Clicked on the link just for curiosity sake - woooo - nasty ! 
She had a great sense of humor though with that title , I'll give her that much .
Not kidden . 18 stone I reckon , all oily messed up hair and a reaaaally , big fat scary face . :lol:


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## Daisy82

Here is my online dating profile. Constructive reviews appreciated. 

Hello Boys!
For a physical description please refer to the pictures and standard questions above: blonde hair, blue eyes, blah blah blah. First and foremost I am a MILF. My children come first in everything thing I do. My “free” time is limited. I get a couple weekends a month to hang out with other adults in a not so kid friendly environment, watch a movie that’s not G rated or have dinner without having to tell someone to sit down, don’t throw food or clean up a spilt drink. That’s the goal anyways.

Typically I’m the funny girl, sarcasm at its finest. A good sense of humor is always appreciated. I am also serious when the situation calls for it. It’s that unique ability to be a lady in public and a @&*$# in the bedroom that sets me apart. Calm down, I’m only kidding!

Likes: Evenings are perfect this time of year! I enjoy reading – favorite author is Lisa Gardner. Movies – comedy, action/drama and some chick flicks. Music – mostly country but my playlist may surprise you.
Key traits for the opposite sex: honesty, compassion, good sense of humor, attraction and a true gentleman. 

Happy Looking!

P.S. I am NOT a booty call and I will NOT send nude or partially nude pictures of myself.
:scratchhead:


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## whitehawk

Daisy82 said:


> Here is my online dating profile. Constructive reviews appreciated.
> 
> Hello Boys!
> For a physical description please refer to the pictures and standard questions above: blonde hair, blue eyes, blah blah blah. First and foremost I am a MILF. My children come first in everything thing I do. My “free” time is limited. I get a couple weekends a month to hang out with other adults in a not so kid friendly environment, watch a movie that’s not G rated or have dinner without having to tell someone to sit down, don’t throw food or clean up a spilt drink. That’s the goal anyways.
> 
> Typically I’m the funny girl, sarcasm at its finest. A good sense of humor is always appreciated. I am also serious when the situation calls for it. It’s that unique ability to be a lady in public and a @&*$# in the bedroom that sets me apart. Calm down, I’m only kidding!
> 
> Likes: Evenings are perfect this time of year! I enjoy reading – favorite author is Lisa Gardner. Movies – comedy, action/drama and some chick flicks. Music – mostly country but my playlist may surprise you.
> Key traits for the opposite sex: honesty, compassion, good sense of humor, attraction and a true gentleman.
> 
> Happy Looking!
> 
> P.S. I am NOT a booty call and I will NOT send nude or partially nude pictures of myself.
> :scratchhead:



Personally I'd lose the bedroom stuff and cut the kid stuff down to a line or two.
Dunno why the girls all feel the need to tell the world how much they love their kids , family and friends, pretty well a no brainer but they all say it. The kids coming first , really, no brainer or I spose you could say that'll be sorted later on auto anyway, like it's just along the same lines and I know as a guy ya get really sick of reading kids kids .


The hello is really hard I know , I still have no clue how I'm suppose to start my intro - ant tips appreciate !
But I'd lose the hello boys if I were a chick.
I'd lose the 2 a mth thing too.

The funny's nice because it means your human and fun , like the serious when needed stuff to because often girls with too much of a sense of humor have no idea or off button - means your aware and know your stuff but fun too , personally I really like that .

The rest is good me thinks ! But hey , it's just an opinion and I'm different to most so not sure what it's even worth anyway.


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## Matt1720

COguy said:


> Bob the wife beating couch potato also likes to cook and backpack! So does Jim the computer nerd! Oh and Cindy the fatass cat lady Kayaks too! And everyone jogs!


this is magic


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## sarcasmo

Has anyone ever heard of xpress . com? I created a [free] profile a few weeks back and I'm very skeptical of the authenticity of the profiles I see out there. Very sketchy. I'm a member of Chemistry . com and 9/10 emails I get are spam, but the site does a good job of remoiving those profiles. Usually before I even see the email.

Just curious if anyone has any experience with this dating site. I want to reply to the emails I get, but as a free member, you only get to send one email per member. I'd have to pony up some dough to truly communicate. Just seems to sketchy to me at this point. Would love to hear from someone who has actually tried the site. Most blog posts/articles I find regarding xpress seem to be marketing ploys.

[BTW, the site, like most dating sites, is definitely NSFW]


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## coffee4me

Never heard of xpress.com googled it. 

Honestly looking at the site, disclaimers and legit reviews everything I saw said it was bogus. Save your money.


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## sarcasmo

coffee4me said:


> sarcasmo, I'm really curious as to the mind set of a man checking out a site like that and even wondering if he could wade through the escorts. Is that really the type of lady you are looking for? Just a casual hook up? If so, there are plenty of people of that mindset on the free sites like POF and OK cupid.


To be honest, I really dont know. I'm new to online dating. Even before I met my STBX I hadn't tried online dating. From what I have heard, the pay sites are better. I guess that's why I avoided OK and POF. I feel that there is too much pressure for a LTR on Chemistry and the similar pay sites and I'm really just looking to meet people, practice dating, and make friends. I wonder if my profile reads as someone looking for hook ups. So unthought I would look for more laid back pay sites, but it seems like they are all scams or people fishing for a ONS type situation. 

I'm getting out and meeting people, but I'm trying to use online dating to supplement that (because I'm shy and have no "game"). Maybe I'm going about it wrong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## minimalME

sarcasmo said:


> From what I have heard, the pay sites are better. I guess that's why I avoided OK and POF. I feel that there is too much pressure for a LTR on Chemistry and the similar pay sites and I'm really just looking to meet people, practice dating, and make friends.


My experience has been that pay sites aren't better, but they're different. The men I talk to and/or meet from OKC are usually creative types, whereas on Match, I meet businessmen. 

I don't know what it's like from a male perspective.

I have several male friends on OKC who're perfect gentlemen - never offensive or pushy or overtly/inappropriately sexual. And I've known two of them for a couple of years now.

People who're out for a ONS aren't subtle. 

I had one guy I'd talked to for less than 24 hours ask me about making hotel reservations in a city that was half way for both of us. :rofl:


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## coffee4me

sarcasmo said:


> To be honest, I really dont know. I'm new to online dating. Even before I met my STBX I hadn't tried online dating. From what I have heard, the pay sites are better. I guess that's why I avoided OK and POF. I feel that there is too much pressure for a LTR on Chemistry and the similar pay sites and I'm really just looking to meet people, practice dating, and make friends. I wonder if my profile reads as someone looking for hook ups. So unthought I would look for more laid back pay sites, but it seems like they are all scams or people fishing for a ONS type situation.
> 
> I'm getting out and meeting people, but I'm trying to use online dating to supplement that (because I'm shy and have no "game"). Maybe I'm going about it wrong.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you for answering I pulled that post thinking maybe I offended you, not my intent. I was just a bit surprised when I googled that site  it's pretty raunchy looking. 

I get that you don't want too much pressure for an LTR I feel the same but that site seems quite the other extreme ONS. 

I think you can find what you are looking for on a free site or a paid site like Match. When I decided to see what it was like to date again, I joined both and just tried to get comfortable in the process. Meet people with no expectations other than perhaps to make a new friend. Worked out ok, I'm not one to approach people in person so the online thing helped me to just get comfortable talking to men again in the "dating" context.


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## sarcasmo

coffee4me said:


> Thank you for answering I pulled that post thinking maybe I offended you, not my intent. I was just a bit surprised when I googled that site  it's pretty raunchy looking.
> 
> I get that you don't want too much pressure for an LTR I feel the same but that site seems quite the other extreme ONS.
> 
> I think you can find what you are looking for on a free site or a paid site like Match. When I decided to see what it was like to date again, I joined both and just tried to get comfortable in the process. Meet people with no expectations other than perhaps to make a new friend. Worked out ok, I'm not one to approach people in person so the online thing helped me to just get comfortable talking to men again in the "dating" context.





minimalME said:


> My experience has been that pay sites aren't better, but they're different. The men I talk to and/or meet from OKC are usually creative types, whereas on Match, I meet businessmen.
> 
> I don't know what it's like from a male perspective.
> 
> I have several male friends on OKC who're perfect gentlemen - never offensive or pushy or overtly/inappropriately sexual. And I've known two of them for a couple of years now.
> 
> People who're out for a ONS aren't subtle.
> 
> I had one guy I'd talked to for less than 24 hours ask me about making hotel reservations in a city that was half way for both of us. :rofl:


Thanks, you two. Maybe I'll shift my focus away from the extreme sites and try OKC in combination with my Chemistry.com membership. 

I guess part of me is curious how the NSA sub-culture really lives. As someone with very little experience in that type of behavior (~40 yrs-old, only 3 partners) I guess part of me is drawn to the idea of that at this point in my life. I don't know. I'm too nervous to even give it a try so I think I'll stick to the more vanilla sites for now.


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## Baseballmom6

Funny my ExH is living with the POS OW and has a profile on Cheaters.com. Some people never change.


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## whitehawk

HOW , on my profile would l word just looking for friendship - but , if something serious did come along l'd certainly be interested. Just not really looking for it right now .

ls there a way to say that and a way not to say it.

l'd basically just like to meet a few new friends - girls !
Are date sites any good for that or mainly only real dating?


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## Deejo

Women put that in their profile all the time.
I don't advise that you include language like that at all.

You think you are clearly expressing what you want.

However quite often there are things people include in their profile that to a reader, means something completely different.

From a guy, "Just looking for friendship. Not looking for anything serious." translates to; "I'm just looking to hook up."

You can make that desire clear when you are dating. You shouldn't make it a prerequisite in your profile.

If a woman says "No games, no drama." That translates into "I have been hurt very badly and my guards up." or "I have had lots of bad dates."

Be upbeat, positive, informative and fun in your profile.

If you are nervous about dating and truly are just looking to hang out, Meetup is probably more your thing.


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## COguy

Yeah people on dating sites are looking for relationships, or dates, not friendship.

If you want friendship go to meetup.com. Though I question why you would specifically just want an opposite sex friendship with someone and not want to date them? That's what men are for.


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## whitehawk

Yeah right, thanks for those.

Why's , l dunno l miss female company mainly, have always had a few female friends. but l don't feel like dating or screwing right now.
Nothing to question really , most of our old friends also know x so l don't really wanna see them right now that's all.


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## whitehawk

COguy said:


> Yeah people on dating sites are looking for relationships, or dates, not friendship.
> 
> If you want friendship go to meetup.com. Though I question why you would specifically just want an opposite sex friendship with someone and not want to date them? That's what men are for.


yeah but hey, we're also great to talk to and company.


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## Freak On a Leash

COguy said:


> If you want friendship go to meetup.com. Though I question why you would specifically just want an opposite sex friendship with someone and not want to date them? That's what men are for.


Because I want friends, not a relationship. I find men are great friends. Much less drama, a lot more fun.


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## badcompany

One issue with being too detailed in your "pitch", is that you may get manipulated because the other person knows what you are looking for right off the bat. If I find myself single again I'll post a very simple profile and let the "applicants" show their cards first.


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