# Do you ever thank your husband for your children?



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Sometimes I just feel so filled with gratitude to DH, for many things, but especially for our children. We had them fairly young (our daughter is 19, and I am 44 and he is 47), and we have four sons younger than she is.

It was so hard at times, and it did not always feel like there was much money, but I am so glad we have our children. They are such a blessing, and we learn so much from them.

They are all home right now, and our youngest will be six tomorrow. I know these times are limited, and I am just feeling so happy right now, so grateful for dh's vision so many years ago. Dd commented yesterday that she is so glad I had her when I did.

Do you, too, feel grateful to your husband for giving you children? Or for anything else? Let's make this a gratitude thread.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I try to thank my wife for children and the hell she went thru on regular basis.

She does thank me and acknowledges I'm a great father on regular basis as well.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

DoF said:


> I try to thank my wife for children and the hell she went thru on regular basis.
> 
> She does thank me and acknowledges I'm a great father on regular basis as well.


That is the best, DoF: mutual appreciation.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I've spoken many times on how badly I wanted children (on this forum)....and how I was never so distraught as when I thought we couldn't have any more after our 1st ....each year kept passing.... words can not express how much our kids mean to me.. they complete US as a family.. 

We ran out to see a movie today meeting our oldest for lunch.. it was great catching up.. There is such delight when we all get together.. 

I told my husband when dating, I wanted at least 3 kids .. but if one wasn't a girl, I wanted to keep trying.. Not many men would have answered like he did... I remember as clear as day...he said "*you can have as many as you want ....so long as you take care of them*"... meaning... not expecting him to get up in the middle of the night, stuff like that..or complaining they were too much work.... 

I don't think he was too worried about this, I was never one who needed much sleep...

I promised... and he kept his promise to me too.....we ended up with  

I can not express how deep, how wide, how high, I appreciated his attitude during our years of infertility...looking back I wasn't such a Joy to deal with...I had my angry temperamental moments... he never once tried to talk me out of wanting more children....he came with me for all my Tests, a surgery, at one point we looked into adoption, even scheduled an in vitro..but got pregnant on that very cycle...I couldn't have asked for a more supportive husband through that time....and he is an amazing Father..

Through him... because of him.. really.. I have realized all the dreams I ever dreamed...and I am so very grateful....

Even without words...he feels my heart, has even seen the tears of thankfulness ..on how I'll miss these days... just thinking about the next 2 teens , our Irish twins -as they could be called, going off to college so soon...oh it has to be.. & we're so HAPPY FOR THEM !!....but the memories we've shared, the good times, thoughts of them walking their little buckets of water to the sand box naked little bare butts together ... bringing me flowers from the yard.. the family vacations....the JOY and excitement they have brought into our lives.. it's a little bittersweet at the same time. But so thankful...

Then "Cats & the Cradle" will come on the radio.. and he'll say "GET A GRIP!"


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

We are both step-parents. We thank each other often, for loving and caring for each others' grown children. For helping things to work out and blend as awesomely as they have!


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

ABBA LYRICS - Slipping Through My Fingers


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

bestyet2be said:


> ABBA LYRICS - Slipping Through My Fingers


Oh, that was sad! But thank you for sharing it!

We homeschool, so I never had to see the kids away all day, every day, for most of the year. I don't think our family would enjoy a non-homeschooling lifestyle.

My husband told me right off when we were dating that he wanted us to breastfeed and homeschool our kids, and I took it as a condition of marriage. I am glad I did, because I think both have brought great joy to us. I would not necessarily have pursued them on my own, though. I don't know what I would have done, because he set the tone right away in that regard. I will always be grateful for that.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SunnyT said:


> We are both step-parents. We thank each other often, for loving and caring for each others' grown children. For helping things to work out and blend as awesomely as they have!


So glad to hear this, Sunny! I love to hear about happy stepfamilies. 

I don't want to be divorced, or widowed. But if I were, and remarried, I would hope I would do my best to love and respect any stepchildren. Especially, I would not want to come between them and their father. 

I think it takes a lot of graciousness to be a successful stepparent, a lot of empathy and warmth and self-sacrifice and just kindness, all around. Hats off to those who do it well!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

No. I can honestly say I have never thanked him for our children, nor has he thanked me. I don't feel the need to thank him for something we both wanted. I mean, really. To me, thanking him for them would imply that I had to COERCE him into having sex with me. That thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

jld said:


> Do you, too, feel grateful to your husband for giving you children? Or for anything else? Let's make this a gratitude thread.


This is sweet of you, jld, but it honestly seems like my wife did more of the, "Work" prior to the actual births than I did.  Pregnancy was hard on her.


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## nikoled (Mar 12, 2014)

I'm so thankful for my babies. We had our first at 22 and he is now 19 also. I loved having all my kids home this summer. My husband and I discuss all the time how grateful we are for them. Despite my husbands other shortcomings he is a great dad and I'm very thankful for that (and thankful that he's working on the rest of himself!).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

ocotillo said:


> This is sweet of you, jld, but it honestly seems like my wife did more of the, "Work" prior to the actual births than I did.  Pregnancy was hard on her.


I know. I think pregnancy always has its own challenges. Birth and breast-feeding too. I am sorry if it was especially hard on your wife. 

I was just so happy yesterday, ocotillo. There are not going to be many more weeks where dd19 will be with us. And we never know with ds15's health. 

I was just so happy yesterday, all the kids home, having fun together, and Dug was working from home yesterday. I was just thinking about his vision of a family so many years ago, and I was feeling grateful for it.

SA knew what she wanted right away, and her husband accommodated her dream. I did not have a plan, but I facilitated dh's. And I am so happy about it now. And that is really all I was trying to say.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Meh. My wife did 9 plus 9 months work total for two girls and I raised them since birth. She should be thanking me indeed


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Duplicate post...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

LOL, no. His singular effort was over in a few minutes. My singular effort wasn't over for several years... per child. Never thanked him, never occurred to me. Never been thanked, never occurred to him I assume.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Lol, AP. I think this thread did not really strike a child with many people. 

Do you think Mr. Pink does feel thankful, even if he has not ever verbalized it?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Not a lady but like your thread jld.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jld said:


> *I was just so happy yesterday,* ocotillo. There are not going to be many more weeks where dd19 will be with us. And we never know with ds15's health.
> 
> * I was just so happy yesterday, all the kids home, having fun together, and Dug was working from home yesterday. I was just thinking about his vision of a family so many years ago, and I was feeling grateful for it.*
> 
> SA knew what she wanted right away, and her husband accommodated her dream. I did not have a plan, but I facilitated dh's. And I am so happy about it now. And that is really all I was trying to say.


I think this thread just shows you have a thankful heart.. Jld..

I guess it's not necessary for us to say it.. but our attitudes & the little things along this walk... do express it...I wouldn't think it was stupid or silly to say it though...I know I have many times over in various ways....and it does mean a great deal to him.. and I do see HIM as the source of my dreams as you have said. A well of appreciation flows from that. I'm not stupid, no other man would have even put up with me -wanting all these kids! 

I just see this as a giving thing.. a willing thing .. the expression of the heart.. too often we pour on the negative, but leave too much of the positive out....

I know you've taken some slack for loosing it with your husband (and he's uplifted you)...what they don't seem to realize is... your attitude outside of those moments surely make up for this.. you are very grateful and humble for all that you have, and because of your husband.. and this immeasurably means a great deal to HIM... it exudes your happiness even...and you know that saying about Mama..

If Mama ain't happy, Ain't nobody happy..


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

"Dear AR, 

Thank you for convincing me that the withdraw method works when all along it was just that you hated condoms. The little ****** turned out pretty okay."


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks, SA. I can't really give anymore to Dug than I have. I have pretty much put my life in his hands. He feels it. That is why my anger doesn't rock him. 

He has the power in the relationship and he knows it. What is there to be afraid of?

And regardless of what I _say_, I _do_ the stuff he likes. Like people like to say here, actions speak louder than words . . .


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

jld said:


> Like people like to say here, actions speak louder than words . . .


They do indeed.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I appreciate my husband a lot. He fell in with my plans, respected my vision for how our children would be raised, and is unendingly adoring and delighted with them. I think I'm really lucky.

He also is happy to work to support us all, loves that I don't have to work, thinks I'm an awesome mother and that our girls are lucky to have me. 

I try to show him that we all appreciate him by making his life run as happily as possible, making sure the girls know how hard he works for us, making a huge fuss of him on his birthday and Father's Day, letting him sleep in, making sure he has food and snacks, and just generally adoring him.


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