# lack of an emotional connection



## 2nd-timearound (Oct 2, 2013)

i dont really know when it happened, but it has. this is my 2nd marriage, only married 1 year and i already feel like we are just friends. and honestly, i am ok with that. i would be ok if we were just friends. thats insane right? 
he is such a wonderful guy and has done nothing to intentionally hurt me ever. but that spark is just gone. 
i dont know what to do. when i try to talk to my husband about my feelings it always ends in a fight. i dont want to fight with him, i dont want to hurt him. 
any advice, support, anything???
TIA!


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

Tell us more. What happened to your first marriage and what happened to his if he had one.

Do you both work have kids etc. and your ages.

You must be doing something 'wrong' at least in his eyes.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So you say you have lost the spark, that you get along great but there's no emotional connection? That all seems very disjointed to me.

Usually if I am lacking an emotional connection with someone, I do not feel like we can be friendly or get along well...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> So you say you have lost the spark, that you get along great but there's no emotional connection? That all seems very disjointed to me.
> 
> Usually if I am lacking an emotional connection with someone, I do not feel like we can be friendly or get along well...



Well it may feel like this but you could choose to be responsible to each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Not enough details.

Was there ever a spark? When did it stop? Do you know how to communicate without making him defensive?


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## onestepatatime (Oct 23, 2013)

We felt like we had lost our spark a while back. We have worked on it and go on date nights and generally go back to the basics. After marriage, we tend to get caught up in everyday life and lose touch with "us". It worked for us.


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## Golie (Mar 14, 2015)

I dated my husband for two years. I saw a couple red flags except ignored them because overall everything was good. The day after we got married i relized that there where serious issues. i truly beleived that after i brought these concerns up with mu husband that we woukd work together as a team to solve them...... now almost 13 years later those same issues are still there. at first i brought them up calmly and rationally and had every confidence that things would work out. when that didn't solve anything i cried, then the cryin turned to begging, then the begging turned to anger then the anger turned to resentment and now i am numb. i have lost all hope of anything ever being diffetent and i feel trapped. my husband is a wonderful providet ( always has been ) he is highly educated, genourous, kind and thoughtful in many many ways. the red flags during our dating years was evidence of pornography and passive aggressive. these two things have destroyed healthy comunication and emotional intimacy to nothing and thetefore destroyed. i wish i would have paid attention to things more when we dated. i found out about dishinest things afger we married. its terrible. he tries to keep me by using money and social power. i want out.


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