# It's first night on the couch for me tonight.. :P



## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

After months of talking about W's EA and a couple of therapy sessions, I have run out of patience with all the stalling, the "I'll stay with you for the sake of stability" (rather than because she wants this to _really_ work out) and the lying about not contacting the OM. She's never compromised about anything on her life, why would she now?

It's sad it came to this, but I'm moving to the couch tonight to ease into the kids' minds that I'm on my way out soon. Wish me luck and wisdom to deal with this maturely.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

That is kinda passive agressive IMHO. I would make her sleep on the couch.


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## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> That is kinda passive agressive IMHO.


Do you mean on my part or hers?

I don't know completely what being passive-agressive entails, but what I can say (about me) is that I went through a "I can't lose her" phase, then a "I shouldn't lose her" phase and now I'm in kinda of a "whatever!" phase. Don't know if it's denial, but with each passing week I'm feeling more nonchalant about it...

... esp. because I have a feeling that it won't work out between her and the other guy, so I'm kinda expecting she's going to learn the hard way. *grin*


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## hardtime (Aug 29, 2011)

candlemelter said:


> Do you mean on my part or hers?
> 
> I don't know completely what being passive-agressive entails, but what I can say (about me) is that I went through a "I can't lose her" phase, then a "I shouldn't lose her" phase and now I'm in kinda of a "whatever!" phase. Don't know if it's denial, but with each passing week I'm feeling more nonchalant about it...
> 
> ... esp. because I have a feeling that it won't work out between her and the other guy, so I'm kinda expecting she's going to learn the hard way. *grin*


In the same boat you are in about a month and a half ago. I finally relized that she had already left the marriage, but wanted to stay at home for the financial part. Don't leave. She should be the one leaving. It is not your fault. I know the stages that you have been through, and I am also at the stage of I just want her to leave so I can get on with my life. (A happier one). Good luck. I will be following. Listen to the people on here, they have solid advice.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Sleeping on the couch is a clear signal that you are volunteering yourself for the role of "the problem in the marriage".

She'll just tell everyone your sleeping on the couch and everyone will assume you're the problem.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She'll tell them that anyway. That's what cheaters and liars do. They mess up your life and then blame you for it and hold it over you.


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## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

Atholk said:


> Sleeping on the couch is a clear signal that you are volunteering yourself for the role of "the problem in the marriage".
> 
> She'll just tell everyone your sleeping on the couch and everyone will assume you're the problem.


To be perfectly honest I don't give much of a d*mn about that...  most of the closest people already know what's up and the rest I really don't care.

Where I live, admission of guilt no longer accounts for anything in divorce procedures (though I do have some proof if it were ever needed) so even on that account that is a no issue.

It's just a shame that everyone, especially our two daughters, will need to go through this. But that's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.


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