# Fellow BS's what are some gems that the WW/WH told you



## KingwoodKev (Jan 15, 2015)

A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Paraphrasing here...

"I've always felt that you're just too intelligent for me."


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

KingwoodKev said:


> A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?


Try not to take it too personally. After all, you weren't supposed to find out.

Right...?

:scratchhead:


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

KingwoodKev said:


> A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?


did she first go on the rant about how you invaded her privacy and spying on her and how that was so mean of you to do? I always like that part. They must think you will forget all about the affair part.....


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

My stbx has used so many wild and crazy stories its hard to narrow it down to just a few haha!

My latest favorite was when she was ranting in court that I was a manipulating controlling monster because I didn't like scented candles. This was also the same day she was claiming I control her mind thru her lawyers mind. 

Beware my mental powers.....


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

honcho said:


> My stbx has used so many wild and crazy stories its hard to narrow it down to just a few haha!
> 
> My latest favorite was when she was ranting in court that I was a manipulating controlling monster because I didn't like scented candles. This was also the same day she was claiming I control her mind thru her lawyers mind.
> 
> Beware my mental powers.....


So that's _you_ telling me to head back into the kitchen for another beer?

*Psssh* Glug Glug Glug *Burp*

You assh*le.

:smthumbup:


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## Calibre1212 (Aug 11, 2014)

"She was never a secret, the phone bills were on the microwave. You failed to look at them!"


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*"I did it for us" WTF?*


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> So that's _you_ telling me to head back into the kitchen for another beer?
> 
> *Psssh* Glug Glug Glug *Burp*
> 
> ...


I will neither confirm nor deny that I felt you needed a cold frosty one to refresh yourself.....

I have been called worse Gus. Careful now I may think about a bag of salty chips which will in turn cause you to be thirsty again.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*"I was too shy to try different sex acts with you. I didn't want you to think that I was a slvt"*


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

honcho said:


> I will neither confirm nor deny that I felt you needed a cold frosty one to refresh yourself.....
> 
> I have been called worse Gus. Careful now I may think about a bag of salty chips which will in turn cause you to be thirsty again.


Okay shyster wannabe:lol::rofl:


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

honcho said:


> I will neither confirm nor deny that I felt you needed a cold frosty one to refresh yourself.....
> 
> I have been called worse Gus. Careful now I may think about a bag of salty chips which will in turn cause you to be thirsty again.


Looking for the keys to my truck...

Damn you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> *"I was too shy to try different sex acts with you. I didn't want you to think that I was a slvt"*


:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

"If one of the kids came in and saw uS I would have just taken her back to bed. It really wasnt that big a deal he was here"

Guess how well this went over


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*"You can't be serious about divorcing me just because I had sex with another man".* said the female genius with the IQ of a Russet potato.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

One of her more creative and weird lines she was telling people was that I was forcing her to have sex with someone else because I was making her work as an escort because she was really supporting me. My boss found that one funny when she called him to tell him that story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

honcho said:


> One of her more creative and weird lines she was telling people was that I was forcing her to have sex with someone else because I was making her work as an escort because she was really supporting me. My boss found that one funny when she called him to tell him that story.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's one way to "Pimp my wife"


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

honcho said:


> One of her more creative and weird lines she was telling people was that I was forcing her to have sex with someone else because I was making her work as an escort because she was really supporting me. My boss found that one funny when she called him to tell him that story.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Man, did you really have to marry the craziest woman in your county? :rofl:


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

"the one I love I cant have (AP) and the one I have (me, BH) am not in love with anymore"


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

RV9 said:


> Man, did you really have to marry the craziest woman in your county? :rofl:


I always said I got the "special" one haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> By KingwoodKev (KWK)
> Fellow BS's what are some gems that the WW/WH told you
> A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?


Ok Kingwood you got some real hum dingers from our TAM gang on this thread. No doubt that every one of those posts was right on the money!

This is what my WS finally said.* “ I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you”*

KWK, you need to stop picking at the scab and quit itching it even if it feels good. *You have already decided that you are going to R so STOP feeding the pain beast!* I know there is some masochistic relief that comes from talking how the WS rip your heart to shreds but it is like the moth drawn to the flame.

STOP spending your time opening wounds and start taking positive actions that will help you R. *This discussion on how much your WS stooped in selfishness and perverted thinking will not help your R one bit!*

These hurtful saying by the WS may give some sort of temporary help but they will not be good for R in the long run


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

"he's not the only one"


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## Lone Wolf (Sep 22, 2013)

There is nobody else. Yes, I am sure.
I didn't want to hurt you.
You are a good man. You deserve a good person.
I knew you were going to be angry if you found out.
He (the OM) is good to me and makes me feel special.

She is religious (more so than me), so I was totally caught off guard and back stabbed from someone that I thought was strong willed with religion. This wasn't the exact reply, but when I ask her how she could have done this and didn't both she (WS) and the OM commit a sin against the 10 commandments, she said something to the effect that I cannot judge her and somehow God will forgive her and all that. That coming from someone that was religious and went to church all the time. I could not believe it.

...........Countless other excuses that probably pattern similar stories on TAM from BS.

Drove me nuts trying to figure it all out, like an intricate web of deceit.


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## Psych (Aug 26, 2013)

Some really outrageous stuff. Just wow.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"I want you to know, me wanting to have this affair has nothing to do with you.

"It's not your fault. It's nothing that you did.

I still love you. Please never forget that."


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> *"I was too shy to try different sex acts with you. I didn't want you to think that I was a slvt"*


As a former WS, I just gotta say, that was a load of ****. I couldn't have said any such thing with a straight face.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> *"I was too shy to try different sex acts with you. I didn't want you to think that I was a slvt"*



As outrageous as this sounds, it's probably completely true. 

Nothing my XW ever said about the affair hurt as much as what she said after she found out I contacted OMW. 

"You're not going to be the children's only father" was probably the worst.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Ceegee said:


> "You're not going to be the children's only father" was probably the worst.


Oh wow....

My heart aches for you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Ceegee said:


> As outrageous as this sounds, it's probably completely true.
> 
> Nothing my XW ever said about the affair hurt as much as what she said after she found out I contacted OMW.
> 
> "You're not going to be the children's only father" was probably the worst.


Oh wow. Just... wow.

Were you ever able to get any closure there? I really do hope that she was wrong.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Oh wow. Just... wow.
> 
> Were you ever able to get any closure there? I really do hope that she was wrong.



Well, my GF is brushing my daughters hair on the couch and we're all about to play Clue. 

She and her AP broke up a while back. 

Played out the way it usually does.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Ceegee said:


> Well, my GF is brushing my daughters hair on the couch and we're all about to play Clue.
> 
> She and her AP broke up a while back.
> 
> Played out the way it usually does.


That's not really what I meant, but it's good to hear that you're doing well these days.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> That's not really what I meant, but it's good to hear that you're doing well these days.


So, AP is not able to play father to your children, but your XW has engendered a situation where her role has been supplanted?

Karma.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

When I asked her if she and the POSOM ever tried anal sex (something she told me she would never do again, and hadn't in about 30 years), she just started crying and immediately said *"He was small!!!"*. :scratchhead: 

WTF! I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or what. I guess it was that suppose to make me feel better and at the same time give her an excuse not to have to do it again.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

EI said:


> As a former WS, I just gotta say, that was a load of ****. I couldn't have said any such thing with a straight face.


B1 was eating "Nut'n Raisin Honey" while my ex was wolfing down Froot Loops, Crunchy Nut and Krave combined. Turned her into a female sexual version of "The Great Cornholio"


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> That's not really what I meant, but it's good to hear that you're doing well these days.



Sorry if I missed your meaning. Yes, she was wrong. I am currently, and will always be my children's only father. 

They may have other father figures one day but no one will ever replace me.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Just before I found out she banging POSOM, she said to me *"You and <POSOM name> should be friends. The two of you have a lot in common"*. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sex fantasies was to be DP.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Ceegee said:


> Sorry if I missed your meaning. Yes, she was wrong. I am currently, and will always be my children's only father.
> 
> They may have other father figures one day but no one will ever replace me.


I was referring to what seemed to be her implication that perhaps one or more of your children had been fathered by another man... as in perhaps you aren't the sole male genetic progenitor of the small humans that you've spent years loving, raising, and providing for.

Not that ^this^ would have much to do w/ actually _being_ a father.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> Just before I found out she banging POSOM, she said to me *"You and <POSOM name> should be friends. The two of you have a lot in common"*. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sex fantasies was to be DP.


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## KingwoodKev (Jan 15, 2015)

EI said:


> As a former WS, I just gotta say, that was a load of ****. I couldn't have said any such thing with a straight face.


I've read a lot of your posts and appreciate your perspective. I'm probably going to bug you for advice. What about mine? She said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." Any truth to that because F'ing a friend of ours for a year kind of hurt me. Where was this thought about not hurting me then?


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

KingwoodKev said:


> I've read a lot of your posts and appreciate your perspective. I'm probably going to bug you for advice. What about mine? She said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." Any truth to that because F'ing a friend of ours for a year kind of hurt me. Where was this thought about not hurting me then?


Talking to EI is one of the smarter things you can do.

She knew it would hurt you but put herself fist.

It is very difficult to overcome and A in a good marriage. There is nothing you as a BH can really do to help this not happen again.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

KingwoodKev
I am sure that EI will be back and read your post and respond. EI and her husband B1 have a thread on the CWI forum that is thousands of pages long that is titled RECONCILIATION.. You will find some very harsh truths in that thread but also some very helpful information. You do have to be rather thick skinned to read all the posts, plus you better have a LOT of time for readings as it is very LONG. Since EI and B1 are in that thread a lot you may just want to read their story first. They had some extremely hurtful periods and reason for terrific mind movies but they have really improved a LOT!!! Their story is very encouraging.

Link to the thread Reconciliation is below:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/52974-reconciliation.html


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

A cheater can understand another cheater. A bs would always have a wtf moment.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"She is religious (more so than me), so I was totally caught off guard and back stabbed from someone that I thought was strong willed with religion. This wasn't the exact reply, but when I ask her how she could have done this and didn't both she (WS) and the OM commit a sin against the 10 commandments, she said something to the effect that I cannot judge her and somehow God will forgive her and all that. That coming from someone that was religious and went to church all the time. I could not believe it."

I grew up in a very religious, evangelical family and environment, though I have been an agnostic now for over a decade (I'm 47).

Looking back, I am always shocked at the large number of people I knew who essentially use the "God forgives all" or "Jesus died to erase my sins" lines as a 'get out of jail free' card for their poor choices and behaviors.

I'm not mocking those beliefs, and I know many people (my family included) find them precious and comforting.

I'm just pointing out that I have known many Christians who do look on these teachings as a way to whitewash their crappy actions.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> Just before I found out she banging POSOM, she said to me *"You and <POSOM name> should be friends. The two of you have a lot in common"*. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sex fantasies was to be DP.


After my wife told me she was going to have an affair and told me who with she told me that she thought he and I would make great friends.

And even introduced us.

Utterly clueless as to how this hurt me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> After my wife told me she was going to have an affair and told me who with she told me that she thought he and I would make great friends.
> 
> And even introduced us.
> 
> ...


You could have done the same to her...


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Forgot to mention - once my ex cuddled up with me and made me watch 'unfaithful' with her. Next day I made her watch 'I spit on your grave' and ' cannibal holocaust' with me. She hated both. When she asked how can I watch movies like those, I told her she is a cheater, so she likes 'unfaithful' , I'm a rapist, so I like these kind of movies. I think now she gets how much I hate her.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

"It had nothing to do with you"

"Nobody knew."

"I thought you knew"

"I chose you" I blew thru the ceiling on this one. These aren't choices you get to make AFTER you're married.

And like Kev, the most common, and most ridiculous ever, the "didn't want to hurt you" bullshnot.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

My two favorites (hard choices):

When we were discussing how we were going to handle our daughters health insurance, with my decision that cost more but took away any interaction between us. "What are you trying to do? Get rid of me?

When asked what my WW intended to do about the holidays, she replied, ". I figure ap and I will just go to Hoosiers home, we can all spend it together. When I found out what she said, I immediately informed her attorney, that the only way my former friend of twenty years, her AP, would be inside my home was if he were on display in a pine box. Might be why since I found out about the A,three years ago, I haven't seen him since. Lol


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

My WAW announced that she had purchased a home on our kids bus route. 
She then announced that there "was room for everyone"...

This would later become a tagline between myself and my therapist...it was so ludicrous words can hardly describe it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Out of the blue one spring morning, my rich, skanky XW called me into my study to inform me that she thought that as soon as my boys were out of school for the year(in May) that: 

"We need a 'trial separation!'"

Other than for her delinquent "drug head" kids, there seemingly was little to nothing wrong between us and the sex was almost always great!

But little did I know at the time that she had actually been running the South Texas /Hill Country highways, shagging two men from her distant past, (one the best friend of her deceased first husband, the other a high school boyfriend, who she had secretively reconnected with on Facebook)all while I had been relegated to staying at home and taking care of the home and ranch chores, totally oblivious to what she was doing on her many "business trips" to these locales!

And through due personal and outside investigation, I finally found out the lurid truth some nine months into the separation process!

This "trial separation" was merely a ruse for her continued road trips to see her BF's, with the added probability that it also provided a nice soft spot over on the left-hand side, of that old marital bed of ours, for them to occasionally occupy! 

And more importantly, without my knowledge! Largely subscribing to the old mantra, "Out of sight, out of mind!"*


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

Forest said:


> "I chose you" I blew thru the ceiling on this one. These aren't choices you get to make AFTER you're married.


my fWW said that to me too...wtf are they thinking when they talk crap like that....gosh this just made me trigger!!!


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## 1969Trumbull (Jan 18, 2015)

Been married ten years and going through rocky reconciliation. I may still D him, but in wait-and-see mode.

But in answer to the thread question -- My WH also said, "I didn't want to hurt you." 

My two other favorite gems are these: When I told WH that he had been lying to my face about his whereabouts and activities over 3 years, he said, " I never lied. I just didn't tell you where I was. That's not lying." wtf.

Then (after I found out about his multiple infidelities) I told him I wanted full access to his emails and passwords. He said "NO!" When I asked why, he replied, "It's the principle of the thing." 

The principle of the thing???? So now he suddenly has principles.

But he wants to reconcile. (it hasn't been going well. I think he just wants to stay married to avoid the hassle of D)

ANyway, I am in the process of gathering evidence, meeting with an attorney, getting my assets in order, and watching/waiting to see if he really is serious about R.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

RV9 said:


> You could have done the same to her...


Oh, I did. I had my revenge affair with a friend of my wife.

Yah. My bad.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

My ex-wife was a jealous woman so I was blindsided by her affair. I realized that I married a head case.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

1969Trumbull said:


> Then (after I found out about his multiple infidelities) I told him I wanted full access to his emails and passwords. He said "NO!" When I asked why, he replied, "It's the principle of the thing."
> 
> The principle of the thing???? So now he suddenly has principles


This should tell you all you need to know about how serious he is about recovery.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

CantBelieveThis said:


> my fWW said that to me too...wtf are they thinking when they talk crap like that....gosh this just made me trigger!!!


When I think of that moment now, I almost laugh. At the time, I was as low as I'd ever been. It was a few weeks after DDay, I had entered the anger phase. At the time, I was laying face down on the bed, close to tears.

She said it in a way I'm sure she thought would soothe and lift me, and it did - for about 2 seconds. Then, any idea of tears was gone, and slowly -- like the way The Grinch realized what he'd done to Whoville -- my anger and indignation grew. It grew and grew. It grew these sizes that day, until I had the anger and indignation of Ten Grinches Plus Two.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

1969Trumbull said:


> Been married ten years and going through rocky reconciliation. I may still D him, but in wait-and-see mode.
> 
> But in answer to the thread question -- My WH also said, "I didn't want to hurt you."
> 
> ...


You should've told him -- *at that very moment* -- that he had 30 seconds to change his mind, and that failing to do so would result in divorce.

Not five minutes, not an hour, not a day, and not a week... 30 seconds. Because the moment that you drop that demand down onto the table, if you led the echoes of the <THUD> fade into nothing, and then walk away, he has time to start cleaning up texts, e-mails, social media accounts, etc

If he's not since relented on this position, then you should go back and absolutely demand that he do so. Again, give him no longer than 30 seconds to make a decision. And if he spouts that "principle" bullsh*t at you again, just pop back w/ something like this... 

"You're right. It IS about principles, and after so much time spent willfully and intentionally wallowing in duplicity, it's time for you to voluntarily give me some damn transparency. Without that, I have no way of gauging what your _actual_ principles are."

Respectfully, you'd be a damn fool to commit to reconciliation w/o absolute, complete, and TOTAL transparency from your husband.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Christian here.
their is a heaven and hell difference between Jesus paying our debt, and writing us a blank check."

foolscotton,

Oh...I agree with you 100%.

I may be agnostic now, but was a believer for over 3 decades and come from a very religious family (2 of my great-grandfathers were ministers)....and everything I was ever taught from childhood about redemption was that it was anything BUT a 'get out of jail free card' that allowed you to do anything you wanted, without fear, cause Jesus had already 'saved' you.

Despite that, I was just pointing out that I have known many Christians who do treat these teachings in EXACTLY that way....or to justify other crazy ideas like lying, stealing, or even killing if it is done to achieve 'God's work'.


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## Lone Wolf (Sep 22, 2013)

Forgot to add, after my WW vehemently denied there was someone else until I finally discovered the truth, like so many BS on here (too little, too late). She actually was surprised that I was not going to continue to pay her expenses and credit cards while she was starting her new life with the OM :scratchhead:

Really? What fantasy land was she living in, that I was suppose to pay for her fantasies with another guy and support her behind my back while I suffered losing my family? She actually expected that to happen. :scratchhead:

And stupid me, I was actually pretty weak for some time. I continued paying her bills for several months after D-day before I gave up and cut her off. I was hoping for a chance at saving my family eventually, but she didn't want it. Realized too late I made several wrong moves.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Lone Wolf said:


> Forgot to add, after my WW vehemently denied there was someone else until I finally discovered the truth, like so many BS on here (too little, too late). She actually was surprised that I was not going to continue to pay her expenses and credit cards while she was starting her new life with the OM :scratchhead:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You're not the only one LW. 

Don't sweat it.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Lone Wolf said:


> Forgot to add, after my WW vehemently denied there was someone else until I finally discovered the truth, like so many BS on here (too little, too late). She actually was surprised that I was not going to continue to pay her expenses and credit cards while she was starting her new life with the OM :scratchhead:
> 
> Really? What fantasy land was she living in, that I was suppose to pay for her fantasies with another guy and support her behind my back while I suffered losing my family? She actually expected that to happen. :scratchhead:
> 
> And stupid me, I was actually pretty weak for some time. I continued paying her bills for several months after D-day before I gave up and cut her off. I was hoping for a chance at saving my family eventually, but she didn't want it. Realized too late I made several wrong moves.


Even when confronted with the truth they deny it most of the time. My freakshow has been going on for two years and my stbx still wont even mention his name or admit anything to me. 

She tells every crazy story known to man to everyone else to justify why she moved in with the new "soulmate" and was having an affair but she will go to the grave before she ever admits it to me. The affair was the worst kept secret in town.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

KingwoodKev said:


> A favorite of mine is when the ex said "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you." So she didn't think F'ing a friend of mine wouldn't also hurt me?


That's the exact thing my H said to me & he was also sleeping with my SO CALLED FRIEND..


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

One of my favorites was I gave it all up for you.. Well I gave up dating when I got married.


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## Lone Shadow (Aug 5, 2014)

_I am not out to hurt you LS. I have never been out to hurt you._


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## KingwoodKev (Jan 15, 2015)

Devastated an lost said:


> That's the exact thing my H said to me & he was also sleeping with my SO CALLED FRIEND..


That's why I'm glad we're all here. It's a good support group. Only other people that have been through the same hell as we have know how it feels.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

honcho said:


> did she first go on the rant about how you invaded her privacy and spying on her and how that was so mean of you to do? I always like that part. They must think you will forget all about the affair part.....


Mine did exactly that when i found out. Tried to flip it on me. Reality hit though when she tried to access our joint account for money and she found out that her meal ticket had been stamped void. Additionally the other mans wife recieved an email from me.

After that the fog really cleared for my wife when OM threw her under the bus to save his skin.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Mine did exactly that when i found out. Tried to flip it on me. Reality hit though when she tried to access our joint account for money and she found out that her meal ticket had been stamped void. Additionally the other mans wife recieved an email from me.
> 
> After that the fog really cleared for my wife when OM threw her under the bus to save his skin.


When mine cleaned out the bank accounts, she actually called me and yelled at me because I "should" have had more money in them. Did I mention I got the special one.....?


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## KingwoodKev (Jan 15, 2015)

Sports Fan said:


> Mine did exactly that when i found out. Tried to flip it on me. Reality hit though when she tried to access our joint account for money and she found out that her meal ticket had been stamped void. Additionally the other mans wife recieved an email from me.
> 
> After that the fog really cleared for my wife when OM threw her under the bus to save his skin.


Yeah it was a rude awakening for my WW when she found out that the man she was willing to abandon our family and run off with thought of her as just a piece of easy ass.


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Ex-W, while visiting her Father out of state, slept with her Father's girlfirend's son. Her reason? 

"I needed passion and you couldn't give it to me!"

She was right, I couldn't give her "passion" when she's in Oklahoma City and I'm in Chicago.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Ex-W, while visiting her Father out of state, slept with her Father's girlfirend's son. Her reason?
> 
> "I needed passion and you couldn't give it to me!"
> 
> *She was right, I couldn't give her "passion" when she's in Oklahoma City and I'm in Chicago*.


:rofl:


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"She actually was surprised that I was not going to continue to pay her expenses and credit cards while she was starting her new life with the OM"

lol....this is even crazier than the basic assumption most WSs seem to make that somehow they are going to remain great friends with their BSs.

Utter stupidity and insanity IMO.


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Dyokemm said:


> lol....this is even crazier than the basic assumption most WSs seem to make that somehow they are going to remain great friends with their BSs.
> 
> Utter stupidity and insanity IMO.


Yep mine pulled the *"We can still go out on dates"*. One time after the divorce had been finalized, she got PO because she saw me casually talking to a young woman, she called me and said *"What the hell were you doing talking to that woman?"* Needless to say any number she called me from went immediately into the "block phone number" feature of my phones.


----------



## fearfulheart (Dec 8, 2014)

I am still reeling through the trauma since the DDay was only few weeks ago. Last week when I had a trigger and I ended up venting out my WW says "I am truly sorry I caused this trauma - you can count on me as a friend to help you heal from it" WTF. she wants a D so she can be with AP and has the guts to say she can be my friend to heal the trauma caused by her!!!


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

fearfulheart said:


> I am still reeling through the trauma since the DDay was only few weeks ago. Last week when I had a trigger and I ended up venting out my WW says "I am truly sorry I caused this trauma - you can count on me as a friend to help you heal from it" WTF. she wants a D so she can be with AP and has the guts to say she can be my friend to heal the trauma caused by her!!!


In an odd way, this happened with me. 

My wife is a Doctor of Psychology and after she realised how broken I was she actually used her skills as a therapist to help me get through it.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> *"I did it for us" WTF?*


No f'n way! Logic?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

fearfulheart said:


> I am still reeling through the trauma since the DDay was only few weeks ago. Last week when I had a trigger and I ended up venting out my WW says "I am truly sorry I caused this trauma - you can count on me as a friend to help you heal from it" WTF. she wants a D so she can be with AP and has the guts to say she can be my friend to heal the trauma caused by her!!!


She is in la-la land. I suggest you get medieval on her buttocks and snap her out of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> "She is religious (more so than me), so I was totally caught off guard and back stabbed from someone that I thought was strong willed with religion. This wasn't the exact reply, but when I ask her how she could have done this and didn't both she (WS) and the OM commit a sin against the 10 commandments, she said something to the effect that I cannot judge her and somehow God will forgive her and all that. That coming from someone that was religious and went to church all the time. I could not believe it."
> 
> I grew up in a very religious, evangelical family and environment, though I have been an agnostic now for over a decade (I'm 47).
> 
> ...


Bvllshyt reasoning. Jesus didn't die so they could fvck other people. Morons!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> After my wife told me she was going to have an affair and told me who with she told me that she thought he and I would make great friends.
> 
> And even introduced us.
> 
> ...


I am going to start calling you MadMatt! Un fvcking real....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> No f'n way! Logic?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She thought it would "spice up" our marriage by shoving a Carolina reaper up its ass.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> In an odd way, this happened with me.
> 
> My wife is a Doctor of Psychology and after she realised how broken I was she actually used her skills as a therapist to help me get through it.


And all while engaged in an affair? She should've pursued a profession that required a bit less empathy.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> She thought it would "spice up" our marriage by shoving a Carolina reaper up its ass.


Had to look that up. Ouch.

And LOL...

"The Carolina Reaper is a cultivar of chili pepper of the Capsicum chinense species, originally named the "HP22BNH", bred by Ed Currie, who runs *PuckerButt Pepper Company* in Fort Mill, South Carolina, United States. As of 2012, it is the world's most pungent pepper."


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Minutes after DD, I am sitting on the bed looking at a stranger I've been married to for 30 years... "Why?"

The first words out of her mouth... "You would never take me to the Movies!"

I just cracked up, she smiled and shook her head... "That sounded stupid, didn't it."


----------



## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> She thought it would "spice up" our marriage by shoving a Carolina reaper up its ass.





GusPolinski said:


> Had to look that up. Ouch.
> 
> And LOL...
> 
> "The Carolina Reaper is a cultivar of chili pepper of the Capsicum chinense species, originally named the "HP22BNH", bred by Ed Currie, who runs *PuckerButt Pepper Company* in Fort Mill, South Carolina, United States. As of 2012, *it is the world's most pungent pepper.*"


Well, I guess we now know why!

:rofl:


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

How many of you aren't in jail for homicide is beyond my capacity! Ugh!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I am going to start calling you MadMatt! Un fvcking real....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know. Somewhere my life took a really weird turn.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> And all while engaged in an affair? She should've pursued a profession that required a bit less empathy.


No, this was post her affair and post my RA.

Sorry I didn't make that clear.

How could she do this?

Wel... imagine a female Sheldon Cooper, with a hint of Amy Farah Fowler, with PhD in Psychology. And that is pretty much my wife.


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> How many of you aren't in jail for homicide is beyond my capacity! Ugh!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unlike our WW, we have self-control thanks to fully functioning PFC (prefrontal cortex*).

*The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is located in the very front of the brain, just behind the forehead. In charge of abstract thinking and thought analysis,* it is also responsible for regulating behavior*. This includes mediating conflicting thoughts, *making choices between right and wrong*, and predicting the probable outcomes of actions or events. *This brain area also governs social control, such as suppressing emotional or sexual urges*. Since the prefrontal cortex is the brain center responsible for taking in data through the body's senses and deciding on actions, it is most strongly implicated in human qualities like consciousness, general intelligence, and personality.

That's why I now ask my dates *Were you ever dropped on your head when you were a child?*


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> No, this was post her affair and post my RA.
> 
> Sorry I didn't make that clear.
> 
> ...


Yeah, you mentioned that a few days ago. Yeesh.

Do you believe that -- in spite of past experiences -- she's still capable of such profound detachment that she would consider engaging in another affair? And w/ the same OM?


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

RWB said:


> Minutes after DD, I am sitting on the bed looking at a stranger I've been married to for 30 years... "Why?"
> 
> The first words out of her mouth... "You would never take me to the Movies!"
> 
> I just cracked up, she smiled and shook her head... "That sounded stupid, didn't it."


Ok, even my crazy stbx didnt use that lame a line haha!!!


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Yeah, you mentioned that a few days ago. Yeesh.
> 
> Do you believe that -- in spite of past experiences -- she's still capable of such profound detachment that she would consider engaging in another affair? And w/ the same OM?


Possibly. Though at his advanced age I would probably be able to acompany her to his funeral!

But jokes to one side I think she would still tell me in advance. And my reaction this time would be different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Possibly. Though at his advanced age I would probably be able to acompany her to his funeral!
> 
> But jokes to one side I think she would still tell me in advance. And my reaction this time would be different.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am going to stop reading your posts about your wife cheating.

Unless I picture you as a walrus like creature...... No that wouldn't help either. Just going to stop.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I am going to stop reading your posts about your wife cheating.
> 
> Unless I picture you as a walrus like creature...... No that wouldn't help either. Just going to stop.


From 50 First Dates...

Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first.

Henry: That's my joke.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

> Re: Fellow BS's what are some gems that the WW/WH told you?


There's a nasty dynamic where someone pulling away has confidence bolstered and the other who's holding on has confidence dwindling. Especially before infidelity is discovered or when it's being rug-swept. It leaves a wayward thinking their mere presence is a gift to the pathetic betrayed. In my case, this lasted past me filing and divorcing her. I remember her heart felt concern about my new girlfriend after our divorce. She was apparently worried that a pretty girl would chew me up and spit me out. It showed the rationalization that waywards go though. I wasn't interested in pointing out to her that I was successful with women before her and would be successful after her because I learn which a type to avoid.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> There's a nasty dynamic where someone pulling away has confidence bolstered and the other who's holding on has confidence dwindling. Especially before infidelity is discovered or when it's being rug-swept. It leaves a wayward thinking their mere presence is a gift to the pathetic betrayed. In my case, this lasted past me filing and divorcing her. I remember her heart felt concern about my new girlfriend after our divorce. She was apparently worried that a pretty girl would chew me up and spit me out. It showed the rationalization that waywards go though. I wasn't interested in pointing out to her that I was successful with women before her and would be successful after her because I learn which a type to avoid.



Mine tried to give me dating advice. 

At the end of one of her angry emails about me exposing to OMW, she told me I need to find someone that loves me for me and not settle on the first girl I met. I had just started dating current GF. 

She was not the first girl I dated post D. 

I guess if I would have started dating someone 2 years before D - like she did - she would've approved?


----------



## BlueGray (Sep 29, 2014)

My husband had over 3,000 texts per month to various women. He told me he wanted to work on our marriage and I could see on his account that it stopped.
Months later, I found that he had a secret phone. He justified it by saying that all those texts and phone calls were upsetting me and making it hard for us to work on our marriage, so he had to get a secret phone to avoid me being upset by them. In other words, he did it for me, so I wouldn't be hurt by his adultery, since I wouldn't actually know about it.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Ceegee said:


> Mine tried to give me dating advice.
> 
> At the end of one of her angry emails about me exposing to OMW, she told me I need to find someone that loves me for me and not settle on the first girl I met. I had just started dating current GF.
> 
> ...


Yea that's par for the course Ceegee. I don't blame my ex. My work to keep the family together must have come across as weak or needy. Maybe you came across that way to your ex. In short, the one who's stepping out is pursued by their partner as well as the OM/OW so they inflate how awesome they are and deflate their spouse. Time self corrects that delusion though so many who've stepped out eventually understand how ridiculous their thinking was. Some never learn and they repeat the same mistakes over and over though.


----------



## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

I never talk much about things even though it is so long ago.

The last thing she said was, "You are the love of my life, he just turned my head."

She later married OM and had kids. I married and we later adopted.

After 25 years of no contact I get an email from her. She says she is sorry how she treated me and how it ended. She again says I am the love of her life and he just turned her head.

I guess I do not know what that means.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

jim123 said:


> I never talk much about things even though it is so long ago.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What a sad life she must have.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jim123 said:


> I never talk much about things even though it is so long ago.
> 
> The last thing she said was, "You are the love of my life, he just turned my head."
> 
> ...


It means she wishes she knew then what she knows now.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> Yea that's par for the course Ceegee. I don't blame my ex. My work to keep the family together must have come across as weak or needy. Maybe you came across that way to your ex. In short, the one who's stepping out is pursued by their partner as well as the OM/OW so they inflate how awesome they are and deflate their spouse. Time self corrects that delusion though so many who've stepped out eventually understand how ridiculous their thinking was. Some never learn and they repeat the same mistakes over and over though.


Its funny, my stbx still thinks I am begging and pleading with her to come back and holding onto the dream she is that great and special. I keep wondering when she will realize that we literally no contact with each other except in the court room 2 times in 2 years. 

She has this wonderful fantasy world created where I am constantly following her and watching her etc. Its like she truly cant believe I didn't chase her to the ends of the earth to get her back so she makes it up to reinforce how "great" she is. 

She tells my friends that she has all these wonderful new friends but she has none. When she got dumped by the OM she would show up at his house and just let herself in like they were still together. I don't think to this day she has even come around to the fact he never thought she was anything special.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

honcho said:


> Its funny, my stbx still thinks I am begging and pleading with her to come back and holding onto the dream she is that great and special. I keep wondering when she will realize that we literally no contact with each other except in the court room 2 times in 2 years.
> 
> She has this wonderful fantasy world created where I am constantly following her and watching her etc. Its like she truly cant believe I didn't chase her to the ends of the earth to get her back so she makes it up to reinforce how "great" she is.
> 
> She tells my friends that she has all these wonderful new friends but she has none. When she got dumped by the OM she would show up at his house and just let herself in like they were still together. I don't think to this day she has even come around to the fact he never thought she was anything special.


Everyone wants to feel special I suppose and sometimes reality doesn't set well. Your ex maybe liked the high she gets thinking she's all that.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

jim123 said:


> After 25 years of no contact I get an email from her. She says she is sorry how she treated me and how it ended. She again says I am the love of her life and he just turned her head.


Maybe the karma bus came and ran over her. Maybe hubby did to her what she did to you. If they cheat with you, they will yada yada yada


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Ceegee said:


> Mine tried to give me dating advice.
> 
> At the end of one of her angry emails about me exposing to OMW, she told me I need to find someone that loves me for me and not settle on the first girl I met. I had just started dating current GF.
> 
> ...


Your story was cruel and painful.
I know you are in a better place now I hope.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> Everyone wants to feel special I suppose and sometimes reality doesn't set well. Your ex maybe liked the high she gets thinking she's all that.


I think its safe to say my stbx is doing everything possible to not face reality. Yesterday one of my co-workers saw her at a store, she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle having a conversation with herself.....I do wish I was kidding about that.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

BlueGray said:


> My husband had over 3,000 texts per month to various women. He told me he wanted to work on our marriage and I could see on his account that it stopped.
> Months later, I found that he had a secret phone. He justified it by saying that all those texts and phone calls were upsetting me and making it hard for us to work on our marriage, so he had to get a secret phone to avoid me being upset by them. In other words, he did it for me, so I wouldn't be hurt by his adultery, since I wouldn't actually know about it.


He's a keeper! :smthumbup:


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

honcho said:


> Its funny, my stbx still thinks I am begging and pleading with her to come back and holding onto the dream she is that great and special. I keep wondering when she will realize that we literally no contact with each other except in the court room 2 times in 2 years.
> 
> She has this wonderful fantasy world created where I am constantly following her and watching her etc. Its like she truly cant believe I didn't chase her to the ends of the earth to get her back so she makes it up to reinforce how "great" she is.
> 
> She tells my friends that she has all these wonderful new friends but she has none. When she got dumped by the OM she would show up at his house and just let herself in like they were still together. I don't think to this day she has even come around to the fact he never thought she was anything special.





Thundarr said:


> Everyone wants to feel special I suppose and sometimes reality doesn't set well. Your ex maybe liked the high she gets thinking she's all that.


Or maybe she's just BSMFC.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Or maybe she's just BSMFC.


I do think she has a couple of therapists who would give her a certificate suitable for framing stating that. :lol:


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

honcho said:


> My stbx has used so many wild and crazy stories its hard to narrow it down to just a few haha!
> 
> My latest favorite was when she was ranting in court that I was a manipulating controlling monster because I didn't like scented candles. This was also the same day she was claiming I control her mind thru her lawyers mind.
> 
> Beware my mental powers.....


The Force is strong with you Master Jedi.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

lordmayhem said:


> The Force is strong with you Master Jedi.


I'm pretty good with my light sabre too haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConservativeBamaFan (Feb 19, 2014)

Mine was easy....she looked at me with a straight face and said I didn't know he was coming to the hotel. She was out of town and this guy drove 7 hrs to meet her....they spoke for 3 hrs as they both drove down.. to this day she says she didn't know. Every time I hear it my head feels like it's going to explode...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> It means she wishes she knew then what she knows now.


POSOM could have cheated on her, too.

Then in a moment of laser beam sharp clarity: "This feels horrible. OMG! This must be how my ex felt!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Or maybe she's just BSMFC.


I absolutely question the state of her mental health.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

honcho said:


> I'm pretty good with my light sabre too haha
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Honcho, has your STBX been checked out for mental health issues?

I have recently updated my counselling qualifications to cover psychiatric disorders and I am disturbed by your description of her reactions. Believing that you are controlling her via other people, having interactions with you that just never happened is of serious concern. Her own lawyer should have picked up on this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ConservativeBamaFan said:


> Mine was easy....she looked at me with a straight face and said I didn't know he was coming to the hotel. She was out of town and this guy drove 7 hrs to meet her....they spoke for 3 hrs as they both drove down.. to this day she says she didn't know. Every time I hear it my head feels like it's going to explode...


Read only two of your posts. She cheated with her best friend's husband. You still with her? If so, why?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Honcho, has your STBX been checked out for mental health issues?
> 
> I have recently updated my counselling qualifications to cover psychiatric disorders and I am disturbed by your description of her reactions. Believing that you are controlling her via other people, having interactions with you that just never happened is of serious concern. Her own lawyer should have picked up on this.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sitting in a store isle having a conversation with herself...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I am going to stop reading your posts about your wife cheating.
> 
> Unless I picture you as a walrus like creature...... No that wouldn't help either. Just going to stop.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How do you think I feel about it?

However I made a solomn oath (not to my wife as it happens) to always be there for her. 

Had I realised how difficult it would be to marry someone with a high functioning ASD, (in general not solely about infidelity) would I still have married her? Yes, I probably would have.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> How do you think I feel about it?
> 
> However I made a solomn oath (not to my wife as it happens) to always be there for her.
> 
> ...


I could more possibility digest you two if met in person. In writing it appears as madness and dysfunction. Human frailties often are missed in writing of events.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I could more possibility digest you two if met in person. In writing it appears as madness and dysfunction. Human frailties often are missed in writing of events.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


People who meet us IRL would never guess. In fact a mutual friend of ours said: "The thing I like about you both is that you are both so old, yet you obviously still love each other so very much! You would never cheat on the other! That is so sweet!"

I thanked our young friend and smiled to myself thinking: "What would you say if I told you the truth?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Sitting in a store isle having a conversation with herself...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'd like to know which one was right.:lol:


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

RWB said:


> Minutes after DD, I am sitting on the bed looking at a stranger I've been married to for 30 years... "Why?"
> 
> The first words out of her mouth... "You would never take me to the Movies!"
> 
> I just cracked up, she smiled and shook her head... "That sounded stupid, didn't it."





honcho said:


> Ok, even my crazy stbx didnt use that lame a line haha!!!


In her mind... she had "justified" everything for a host of reasons, regardless of validity. If you internalize all your "reasons" long enough and never "test" them or express them with your spouse over a period of years, they become paramount regardless of reality. 

Classic passive aggressive.


----------



## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> Just before I found out she banging POSOM, she said to me *"You and <POSOM name> should be friends. The two of you have a lot in common"*. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sex fantasies was to be DP.


I heard this a couple of times from my almost XW. I guess it might have made it ok if was kept in the "family". Go figure.


----------



## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

honcho said:


> Even when confronted with the truth they deny it most of the time. My freakshow has been going on for two years and my stbx still wont even mention his name or admit anything to me.
> 
> She tells every crazy story known to man to everyone else to justify why she moved in with the new "soulmate" and was having an affair but she will go to the grave before she ever admits it to me. The affair was the worst kept secret in town.


Yea, I hear you. Even when presented with solid evidence of multiple affairs. My almost XW just said " I will never admit anything". And she wont, Even 9 years later when I discovered the first (?) one. Been trying to divorce this winner for more than 3 years now.


----------



## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

After confronting wife the other day about inappropriate texts etc (knob shot, her replying like a lovestruck teenager etc) and a text saying she missed him I got

"it was all on behalf of a friend she was trying to fix him up with why won't you beleive me" and lots of other bull crap that made no sense whatsoever 

I even said would she beleive that herself if someone told her that? Plus the story kept changing in little details 

I am more insulted that she could not have been honest and upfront 

Is this common?


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Bluemoon1 said:


> After confronting wife the other day about inappropriate texts etc (knob shot, her replying like a lovestruck teenager etc) and a text saying she missed him I got
> 
> "it was all on behalf of a friend she was trying to fix him up with why won't you beleive me" and lots of other bull crap that made no sense whatsoever
> 
> ...



*Ask her if the roles were reversed and it was you and not her, what would she conclude?*


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Bluemoon1 said:


> After confronting wife the other day about inappropriate texts etc (knob shot, her replying like a lovestruck teenager etc) and a text saying she missed him I got
> 
> "it was all on behalf of a friend she was trying to fix him up with why won't you beleive me" and lots of other bull crap that made no sense whatsoever
> 
> ...


Yes it's common for her to deny it. Something else that's common would be for you to rug sweep it which is the worst thing you can do. Or for you to become controlling which is also bad.

Listen Bluemoon1, life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you so you need to tell her if she's choosing sexting then she's choosing for the relationship to end because you won't be with her much longer.


----------



## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Yes it's common for her to deny it. Something else that's common would be for you to rug sweep it which is the worst thing you can do. Or for you to become controlling which is also bad.
> 
> Listen Bluemoon1, life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you so you need to tell her if she's choosing sexting then she's choosing for the relationship to end because you won't be with her much longer.


If she did not know it then , she does now I have called her out on all the bull**** told her I don't beleive a word she is saying, she has sent me some grovelling texts saying sorry for the anxiety she has caused me but not sorry what she has done (it's pretty rare she ever texts me) but she has been creepy the last couple of days, I am doing the 180 on her and it appears she does not like it very much at all, told I neither know nor care if the marriage survives now, I have had enough of this crap, she has a few months to sort herself out


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"My work to keep the family together must have come across as weak or needy. Maybe you came across that way to your ex. In short, the one who's stepping out is pursued by their partner as well as the OM/OW so they inflate how awesome they are and deflate their spouse."

I agree.

Its why I think the wisest course of action for a BS, even if they want to eventually try R, is to immediately expose to all friends/family, file for D, and begin a hard 180.

The last thing most WSs expect is complete and utter rejection...and it truly bothers most of them, even if they won't admit it.

That slap of the reality of the consequences they are about to receive might be enough to get them out of La La Land they are living in...only then might R be possible, IF the BS wants it on THEIR terms.


----------



## antechomai (Oct 4, 2013)

This is kind of a reverse of the topic but doesn't deserve a thread.

When you read a email from your wife to the AP discussing the acknowledged effort I was putting in to the marriage and questioning him whether the their relationship was affecting her marriage. 
You think so?


----------



## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

My ex-husband had almost 3-month long PA with married co-worker. When confronted about it by her husband, the OW replayed with a shaky voice.... _I figured that it wouldn't hurt you if you didn't know about it. It isn't like I was planning to leave you._

.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

adriana said:


> My ex-husband had almost 3-month long PA with married co-worker. When confronted about it by her husband, the OW replayed with a shaky voice.... _I figured that it wouldn't hurt you if you didn't know about it. It isn't like I was planning to leave you._
> 
> .


Yeah it was simply PIV massages he was giving her.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

antechomai said:


> This is kind of a reverse of the topic but doesn't deserve a thread.
> 
> When you read a email from your wife to the AP discussing the acknowledged effort I was putting in to the marriage and questioning him whether the their relationship was affecting her marriage.
> You think so?



Similar,

"Last night I could see how much I was hurting him. All we can do is try right". 

Wish I never found that sh!t.


----------



## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Mine said...

I thought you had trust issues. So I had an affair to prove you have trust issues...see! I was right!

Yeah. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. It's one nasty logic Bomb I cant decipher. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

toonaive said:


> I heard this a couple of times from my almost XW. I guess it might have made it ok if was kept in the "family". Go figure.


My wife actually DID introduce me to her lover. The fact that he was nothing special and was older than me really did nothing to help me.

But I was good. I never hit him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> Yeah it was simply PIV massages he was giving her.


LOL!!&#55357;&#56833;&#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I love these kinds of threads, because the Dizzy Talk is so crazy! Seriously, did you HEAR what just came out of your mouth? 

Having read all these though, I believe I have the winner. I suspected my H (now exH) at the time of an affair, and he kept telling me I was nuts, I had trust issues, it was all in my head, etc. And I believed him! 

We owned a company together doing touchscreen computers for restaurants and hotels. One of our clients was one of the highest class hotels I've ever seen in one of the prettiest locations I've ever seen -- and it was EXTREMELY pricey. Suffice it to say that he and I never went there because we could never afford it! Well one day, I got an envelope from that hotel (which wasn't unusual) addressed to "Mrs. XXXX" and inside it was a piece of lingerie that was NOT MINE and was clearly...shall we say "sexual in nature." The note said, "Mrs. XXXX you left this in your room when you stayed with us on <Date> and it's clearly a designer item, so we took the liberty of returning it to you." See...we did business with them and they were discreet about it--probably trying to be nice! Only trouble was: it wasn't mine and WE had never stayed there. And on that <Date> H was supposed to have been on a "business trip" doing overnight maintenance. 

So first I called to confirm that he had NOT been at this out of state location to do the maintenance. I called to "schedule maintenance" and sort of skillfully asked about <Date> in a way that they couldn't tell if I was checking. Obviously he had not been there. 

Second, I went to the swanky hotel, and I got into the room where they had computers saying I had to do some upgrade or add some items or something. Honestly, I probably DID have some stuff that could be done because it was a HUGE hotel! Anyway, while I was there, I took a look at security cameras, and guess what? There was a clear shot of him and his wistress ENTERING the hotel on <Date> all lovey dovey...another clear shot of them registering...and another clear shot of them leaving the next morning, hugging and kissing goodbye! I asked if I could get a copy and the security guy was not thrilled but it was a friend so he did it. 

THEN I showed the security tape to my STBX H. He was all but caught red-handed IN THE ACT and you know what he said? 

"How did you do that?" "Do what?" I said. 
"Doctor up that tape to make it look like I'd done something I didn't do. You are just trying to sabotage me." 

SWEAR TO GOD, I'm not kidding! I couldn't make this up! :rofl:

At that point, I had the undies and the tape, and I didn't even bother to play his game. I knew what he had done, even if he wouldn't admit it.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> My wife actually DID introduce me to her lover. The fact that he was nothing special and was older than me really did nothing to help me.
> 
> But I was good. I never hit him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are killing me Matt! Ok. So did she introduce you after she told you she was going to f him or after she f'd him? Also, he obviously knew she was married and f'd her anyway? Did he f her after he met you? How did this play out?

Did you all have a nice conversation? My barbarian blood is boiling!!! It would be suicide to approach me after defiling my wife or with intent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> You are killing me Matt! Ok. So did she introduce you after she told you she was going to f him or after she f'd him? Also, he obviously knew she was married and f'd her anyway? Did he f her after he met you? How did this play out?
> 
> He was a player. I felt sorry for his poor wife.
> 
> ...


The affair lasted for some time I can't actually remember how long as I blocked that out of my mind. But it was a while. Month or two? Can't remember.

All of a sudden the affair was over.

But nobody who has been cheated on is ever the same person again. Well, I don't think so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

"We're just friends"

"No, I didn't go to his house"

"Of course I didn't tell you I was going to his house. I know you. You would have been mad!"

And two months later....

"What are you talking about! You f'ing liar! I never went to his house"

Really, I could go on all night.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> The affair lasted for some time I can't actually remember how long as I blocked that out of my mind. But it was a while. Month or two? Can't remember.
> 
> All of a sudden the affair was over.
> 
> ...


So your wife and her AP had the balls to introduce you to him while he was still f'ing her?

This is far too surreal! Your reactions and thought process as well as your wife and her AP are simply alien.
Not picking at you but trying to comprehend. None of you make sense.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

For the sake of Smurfs, you have got me going Matt! Did your wife think it ok to be married to you while screwing around? Did she think it normal? Take a break from sleeping with you or did she want you both at the same time? She does not sound sane.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> "We're just friends"
> 
> "No, I didn't go to his house"
> 
> ...


Mine went on the defensive right away when my best friend saw her car at his house and told me about it.

Saying things like "I cant believe I find some new friends and your mad because I see them" "why don't you want me to be happy?"

Then it changed to she was at his house because she had become friends with the OM daughter who was staying with him at the time.

later she claimed to be working at his house making custom drapes for him. I never realized that you had to move in with someone to make drapes


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Affaircare said:


> *I love *these kinds of threads, because the *Dizzy Talk is so crazy!* Seriously, did you HEAR what just came out of your mouth?


AC,

Not to make light of serious subject... been there done that in spades.

I do too. This thread is repeated here about every few months and I just can't help myself. I guess a little bit of Levity in such a serious problem is good for the soul. 

When my fww was TT and scrambling for some solid ground the "Dizzy" that was coming from her mouth was just plain Crazy Train. 

Day 3 post DD, she even attempted the "Big Kahuna"... Walked across the room picked up the Bible... "I swear on my ****** life I am telling you the truth, all of it". 

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

honcho said:


> Mine went on the defensive right away when my best friend saw her car at his house and told me about it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yours was making drapes?

Mine was helping with a serger (like a sewing machine). She was supposed to be at "Laura's" house. 

Then said she had to meet coworkers at a restaurant to work over dinner. Unfortunately for her she chose a restaurant where my best friend had just started working and it was her and OM. 

Friend saw her there and told me who she was with. He also said she turned white when she saw him. Checked dudes FB next day and he was posting proud pics of a blanket he had sewn for his daughter with same material as one seen by WW for my daughter. 

After exposing to OMW some time later, found out she was out of town that weekend with kids.


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

The one that kills me the most is "I dont remember".

That line is the biggest crock of sh!t ever. You don't undertake something that completely flies in the face of the vows you have taken, something that regardless of your intentions you know is going to be life changing...................then not remember it when asked about it afterwards. I don't care if it was 10 days later or 10 years later. She remembers.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> For the sake of Smurfs, you have got me going Matt! Did your wife think it ok to be married to you while screwing around? Did she think it normal? Take a break from sleeping with you or did she want you both at the same time? She does not sound sane.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I got cut off from sex for the duration.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> I got cut off from sex for the duration.


You knew she was having an affair? What did you do about it while it was going on? Did you meet the other man before, during, or after the affair?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> Yours was making drapes?
> 
> Mine was helping with a serger (like a sewing machine). She was supposed to be at "Laura's" house.
> 
> ...


I cringe every time I hear the word serger. My stbx had a love/hate relationship with hers. She loved to scream at it :lol:

If I ever meet another woman with one I will run :lol:


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> You knew she was having an affair? What did you do about it while it was going on? Did you meet the other man before, during, or after the affair?


You guys digging into MattMatt's history are asking for trouble. It will damage your soul.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

honcho said:


> I cringe every time I hear the word serger. My stbx had a love/hate relationship with hers. She loved to scream at it :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> If I ever meet another woman with one I will run :lol:



Apparently it's a good way to meet guys. 

Who knew.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Nucking Futs said:


> You guys digging into MattMatt's history are asking for trouble. It will damage your soul.


Nah, it's a truly romantic story. With a sub-plot of how interesting your life gets if you marry someone who is on the ASD spectrum.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> Apparently it's a good way to meet guys.
> 
> Who knew.


Well every guy needs clothes fixed. We just make the mistake thinking they will fix our clothes instead of other guys :lol:


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

CynthiaDe said:


> You knew she was having an affair? What did you do about it while it was going on? Did you meet the other man before, during, or after the affair?


She had attempted to prepare me by telling me by saying "if X came back to town I don't know if I could resist him."

The song "He's Back in Town" is hard for me to listen to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> You guys digging into MattMatt's history are asking for trouble. It will damage your soul.


I really try.... I try very hard not to look.... But the door has been left open a crack, the air in the room has a hint of something decaying, there is an almost imperceptible noise from behind the door, beckoning, enticing in the way looking into the face of death transfixes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

altawa said:


> The one that kills me the most is "I dont remember".
> 
> That line is the biggest crock of sh!t ever. You don't undertake something that completely flies in the face of the vows you have taken, something that regardless of your intentions you know is going to be life changing...................then not remember it when asked about it afterwards. I don't care if it was 10 days later or 10 years later. She remembers.


A lot of truth in that statement but remembering is painful. Does not really matter how much pain a BS is in, cheating was selfish and the cheater is still selfishly protecting themselves.

I think some of them honestly want to spare their partner further pain but if a BS is asking a WS better be telling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Dyokemm said:


> "She is religious (more so than me), so I was totally caught off guard and back stabbed from someone that I thought was strong willed with religion. This wasn't the exact reply, but when I ask her how she could have done this and didn't both she (WS) and the OM commit a sin against the 10 commandments, she said something to the effect that I cannot judge her and somehow God will forgive her and all that. That coming from someone that was religious and went to church all the time. I could not believe it."
> 
> I grew up in a very religious, evangelical family and environment, though I have been an agnostic now for over a decade (I'm 47).
> 
> ...


Anytime someone uses the Bible to stop someone from judging them, point out to them its the most misquoted verse in the Bible.

The Bible , form the beginning to the end, admonishes us, in one way or the other, to judge other people even to the point to who to avoid even being around.

Google most mis quoted verse of the Bible.

_*The verse actually reads “Judge not that ye be not judged.” This verse is often swung as a gavel to bring about an immediate cessation of discussion of another person’s behavior. The incorrect understanding of the verse is that we are completely forbidden to call to attention any areas in others’ behaviors that demand correction. This is a clear misinterpretation of Christ’s teaching. The words of Christ:


John 7:24 “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.”

Matthew 7:16 “You will recognize them by their fruits…”

Luke 17:3 “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.”

Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Clearly here, Christ says we are to judge righteously, recognize and discern good from evil by peoples’ actions, and rebuke our brothers and sisters when they sin. To rebuke a brother we must first identify that they have sinned. To identify a person’s sin, we must obviously first judge their behavior. Without the authority to judge others’ behaviors there is no permissible authority by which we could uphold governing laws, discipline children, select leaders, choose teachers and childcare providers, or discern which Bible teachers are profitable to listen to. Our selections of spouses, friends, and business partners are all based on judgments of character and ethics. Christ said, “You will know them by their fruits,” meaning we are to discern between a person who bears fruit, and a person who does not.


Leviticus 19:15 You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor.

To see what Jesus is actually saying when He says, “Judge not that ye be not judged,” it is helpful to read the subsequent verses:


Matthew 7:2-5 “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We see now that Matthew 7:1 is not a warning against the judging of any action or behavior. It is a warning against self-deception, self righteousness, and hypocrisy. If you are going to correct someone then you must expect to be held to the same standard. If you judge with harshness, you can expect to be judged harshly. If you judge with gentleness and good intent, your brothers and sisters are more likely to return the kindness. Note that a speck of sawdust and a log are both of the same essence…wood. Jesus here is referring to the hypocrisy of casting judgment on another for a sin of the same essence as a sin of which you yourself are guilty. Jesus declares here that You must first overcome this sin in your own life before you will be any help to your brother. Notice in verse 5 that Christ does not prohibit us from pointing out our brother’s sin, or from assisting him in removing it. Jesus does not command we say nothing about the speck in our brother’s eye. Jesus commands us to first address this particular issue in our own life, and then assist our brother in love.
*_ etc.etc.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Good theology Chap!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

EI said:


> As a former WS, I just gotta say, that was a load of ****. I couldn't have said any such thing with a straight face.


Unfortunately it isn't rare. Women who were pushed hard to be good girls all their life can't let their freak flag fly in bed. So they don't do that with their husbands, they do it with the OM. It's even named, the Madana / wh0re complex.

This isn't gender specific though. "I wanted a blow job, but that's the mouth she kisses my children with" has been used before.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> Unfortunately it isn't rare. Women who were pushed hard to be good girls all their life can't let their freak flag fly in bed. So they don't do that with their husbands, they do it with the OM. It's even named, the Madana / wh0re complex.
> 
> This isn't gender specific though. "I wanted a blow job, but that's the mouth she kisses my children with" has been used before.


Yeah but that is the rod where the children came from. She is just honoring where her children originated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> This isn't gender specific though. "I wanted a blow job, but that's the mouth she kisses my children with" has been used before.


Yep the same mouth that threw up last week those 2 day old spicy taquitos from 7-11 and the Kung Pao chicken on New Year's.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

"I Do"


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

IIJokerII said:


> "I Do"


LOL! Ouch!&#55357;&#56841;&#55357;&#56840;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> Anytime someone uses the Bible to stop someone from judging them, point out to them its the most misquoted verse in the Bible.
> 
> The Bible , form the beginning to the end, admonishes us, in one way or the other, to judge other people even to the point to who to avoid even being around.
> 
> ...


*Chap, Ol' Buddy: All that I can really say is that if you aren't a United Methodist, you could sure fool John Wesley! Or even an Arbitrator or two!

Well said and presented!*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I really try.... I try very hard not to look.... But the door has been left open a crack, the air in the room has a hint of something decaying, there is an almost imperceptible noise from behind the door, beckoning, enticing in the way looking into the face of death transfixes.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And you would see an apparently normal couple, together for 25 years, and you'd say: "What? Them? Cheat on each other? No way!"

Just goes to show you can't always tell.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> And you would see an apparently normal couple, together for 25 years, and you'd say: "What? Them? Cheat on each other? No way!"
> 
> Just goes to show you can't always tell.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh I have no doubt that you appear normal. You know what they say about appearances but it has never held true for me.

I can't decipher too much from a forum but in person it is a different story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> And you would see an apparently normal couple, together for 25 years, and you'd say: "What? Them? Cheat on each other? No way!"
> 
> Just goes to show you can't always tell.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I cant understand how someone can be an effective psychologist and be unable to feel compassion or empathy. If they cant feel that, how can they feel love. an she have your back? You described her being like Sheldon and someone else. What you describe is more like Leonard's mother.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> I cant understand how someone can be an effective psychologist and be unable to feel compassion or empathy. If they cant feel that, how can they feel love.


* Totally! It's those compassionless, always smiling counselors who, in session, look like they're so intently listening to you and richly taking in what you're trying to convey to them, while in reality, they are merely looking at and paying more attention to their wrist watch to make sure that the session ends with just enough time for you to write out the check to them ~ kind of like what I'd envision a prostitute doing ~ except that you never get kissed on the way in or out, and feel so much more empty and perplexed when you leave their office than you did when you went in there!

Those are the one's who need to be stripped of their licenses, as they're not really helping anyone out except for maybe themselves to what little bit of money you might have in your pocket book or within your insurance plan!*


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## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

We had another heated discussion about the txt conversation and the **** shot last night, mentioned the 20 min phone conversation previous to the offending picture, "I swear to god I never spoke to him on the phone, see look at my phone" she has deleted the call record, showed her the phone bill with the call itemised, "well there has been some mistake, I must have rang him accidentally, because I swear on daughters life I never rang him"

Sometimes I don't know to laugh or cry


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Bluemoon1 said:


> We had another heated discussion about the txt conversation and the **** shot last night, mentioned the 20 min phone conversation previous to the offending picture, "I swear to god I never spoke to him on the phone, see look at my phone" she has deleted the call record, showed her the phone bill with the call itemised, "well there has been some mistake, I must have rang him accidentally, because I swear on daughters life I never rang him"
> 
> Sometimes I don't know to laugh or cry


What repercussions is she going to suffer for TT, breaking NC and gas lighting?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> And you would see an apparently normal couple, together for 25 years, and you'd say: "What? Them? Cheat on each other? No way!"
> 
> Just goes to show you can't always tell.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Also. It is not the infidelity that is blowing my mind. It is how everyone involved seems absolutely disconnected from reality.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> What repercussions is she going to suffer for TT, breaking NC and gas lighting?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Plenty, a relationship that had got far to comfy for her and I guess myself lets just say some creative tension has been introduced and things appear to be getting better


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> I cant understand how someone can be an effective psychologist and be unable to feel compassion or empathy. If they cant feel that, how can they feel love. an she have your back? You described her being like Sheldon and someone else. What you describe is more like Leonard's mother.


Maybe with a touch of Leonard's mother.

She no longer practices as a psychologist, though her professional standing was very high, from what I gathered.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Also. It is not the infidelity that is blowing my mind. It is how everyone involved seems absolutely disconnected from reality.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No. Just someone dealing with the reality of living with a spouse with what is, in effect, a mental health disorder.

And that's much harder than coping with infidelity.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Maybe with a touch of Leonard's mother.
> 
> She no longer practices as a psychologist, though her professional standing was very high, from what I gathered.


They can excel at certain professions because they can take emotions out of the equation. They tend to look at the issues or problems and deal with those rather than just the symptoms of problems.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

honcho said:


> They can excel at certain professions because they can take emotions out of the equation. They tend to look at the issues or problems and deal with those rather than just the symptoms of problems.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



That'll work with half the population.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

honcho said:


> They can excel at certain professions because they can take emotions out of the equation. They tend to look at the issues or problems and deal with those rather than just the symptoms of problems.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Her mind is focused like a laser beam. To the exclusion of everything else.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

ceegee said:


> that'll work with half the population.


bazinga!


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

honcho said:


> I think its safe to say my stbx is doing everything possible to not face reality. Yesterday *one of my co-workers saw her at a store, she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle having a conversation with herself.....*I do wish I was kidding about that.


Not sure why but, combined with other things you've told us about her confused mental state, this picture of her sitting on the floor talking to herself actually brought tears to my eyes. Is anyone trying to help this woman, who is obviously mentally ill? :scratchhead:


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Maybe with a touch of Leonard's mother.
> 
> *She no longer practices as a psychologist*, though her professional standing was very high, from what I gathered.


Interesting, MattMatt. As a personal observation, every psych major I met in college, and I mean *EVERY* one, was f'ed up in the head.....without exception!  I couldn't envision ever being married to one of them. I always wondered how these messed-up people were going to help others with THEIR problems when they had so many of their own. Incredible.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

thummper said:


> Interesting, MattMatt. As a personal observation, every psych major I met in college, and I mean *EVERY* one, was f'ed up in the head.....without exception!  I couldn't envision ever being married to one of them. I always wondered how these messed-up people were going to help others with THEIR problems when they had so many of their own. Incredible.


Oh indeed...one of the reasons I left the field was because there were so many screwed up people...


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> Jesus here is referring to the hypocrisy of casting judgment on another for a sin of the same essence as a sin of which you yourself are guilty.


I'm not religious, but this is the first thing that comes to mind when someone uses the 'let he who is without sin....' line.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

thummper said:


> Not sure why but, combined with other things you've told us about her confused mental state, this picture of her sitting on the floor talking to herself actually brought tears to my eyes. Is anyone trying to help this woman, who is obviously mentally ill? :scratchhead:


My thoughts exactly. Honcho doesn't need to stay married but this woman is not well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Here is the gem I got from my x-wife: "I never had the opportunity to have as many partners as you did" 

Oh what, a whopping 3 more than her? And could still count them on 2 hands.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

thummper said:


> Not sure why but, combined with other things you've told us about her confused mental state, this picture of her sitting on the floor talking to herself actually brought tears to my eyes. Is anyone trying to help this woman, who is obviously mentally ill? :scratchhead:


The world humor the crazy and hopes they go away and it sound cynical but its very true. Most mentally ill people push the very ones who are willing to help them away and legally there is very little that can be done.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

honcho said:


> The world humor the crazy and hopes they go away and it sound cynical but its very true. Most mentally ill people push the very ones who are willing to help them away and legally there is very little that can be done.


This is unfortunately true. There is nothing that can be done for someone who refuses help. It's a catch 22. If someone is in a state where they are not tracking with reality, they cannot know that they are not tracking with reality and therefore will not submit to help. A large portion of the homeless population have serious mental health problems, but they cannot be helped, because they must want the help first. If someone doesn't realize they have a problem, they are not going to seek or accept help for something that they do not think they have. It used to be that these individuals could be involuntarily committed, but that is no longer the case, unless it can be proven in court that they are a danger to society.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

thummper said:


> Interesting, MattMatt. As a personal observation, every psych major I met in college, and I mean *EVERY* one, was f'ed up in the head.....without exception!  I couldn't envision ever being married to one of them. I always wondered how these messed-up people were going to help others with THEIR problems when they had so many of their own. Incredible.


Sounds like a great career for my ex-wife.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

vellocet said:


> Here is the gem I got from my x-wife: "I never had the opportunity to have as many partners as you did"
> 
> Oh what, a whopping 3 more than her? And could still count them on 2 hands.


LOL! She would have been busy if she had married me!&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;

You would need at least five sets of hands. Did you make her eat those words?

Was she really justifying her fvcking other men by saying she just needed to even the number of sexual partners after she was married?

I don't recall. Is she just going through fvck buddies right now or is she settling down?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

thummper said:


> Interesting, MattMatt. As a personal observation, every psych major I met in college, and I mean *EVERY* one, was f'ed up in the head.....without exception!  I couldn't envision ever being married to one of them. I always wondered how these messed-up people were going to help others with THEIR problems when they had so many of their own. Incredible.


I have hired 5 employees who have had psych majors in my career and have gotten to the point that if I see that on a resume I steer clear of them. They all seem quite "eccentric" and none lasted more than a year. 

Most never find work in the psych field and after 4 years of college it finally dawns on them they need a masters and they don't pursue it.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

You can't believe all that you read in those e-mails

It was all fantasy

It was all very innocent, there were a lot of e-mails between old work colleagues and I wrote one to him saying "you do know that I'm in love with you don't you?". It was all fun.

I had sex with him because I felt I owed it to him.

He made me feel good about myself.

I'm not going to court to support you! You and him are acting like children.

You need to get over it.

What? Now you're stalking his family?

I knew early on it wasn't where I wanted to be.

I did not have that STD test because you demanded I do.

I have only ever loved you. You will never know how much I love you.

zzzz....


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

"Why can't we all just be happy"?

Referring to herself, her OM, me and OMW.

She couldn't understand why OMW and I were upset.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> LOL! She would have been busy if she had married me!&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;
> 
> You would need at least five sets of hands. Did you make her eat those words?


Oh yes, called her on it. Also told her it was a fine mother to have me watch the kids so she can go screw other men.



> Was she really justifying her fvcking other men by saying she just needed to even the number of sexual partners after she was married?


Yup.




> I don't recall. Is she just going through fvck buddies right now or is she settling down?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She actually married the OM. But during the time they weren't married, he gave her a black eye, but she contends it was an infection because she knew that I'd have a chance to get custody. I brought this up to my attorney and he said unless she confesses or files a police report, she can just say it was an infection and by the time anything could be done, her eye would have healed. I even expressed concern about my kids and my attorney said its my word against theirs.

So why did he hit her? Its rich. Because.......he doesn't trust her.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> Just before I found out she banging POSOM, she said to me *"You and <POSOM name> should be friends. The two of you have a lot in common"*. Oh yeah, one of her favorite sex fantasies was to be DP.


I heard that same one.. (Minus the DP thing though. I don't share well.)


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

After going to a fancy hotel with OM (with a several hundred dollar trip to Victoria Secret earlier that day) and me seeing the credit card charges: "I just needed some pajamas! I only went there so we could hang out and talk!"


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