# Could use advice...



## Sunshine30 (Jan 4, 2015)

I have been married for over 1 year and with my wife for about 3 years. I never wanted to get married to her. I don’t have sexual feelings for her. She is a great person and has a wonderful family. The type of family I could only hope for. So, I did what everyone else warns against doing- Settled. We do not have any children, yet she is pressuring me to start by the end of the month. I kept on hoping that maybe my feelings would change. I have also been working out and eating much better. I’m finding now, it is much easier to get the attention of women. Recently, I found myself flirting with an attractive woman. Eventually, we ended up going out for drinks. She is so attractive; I felt alive again. But, obviously it was the wrong thing to be involved with another woman who didn’t know that I was married. So, I told the other woman that I was married. You know the result, she obviously wants nothing to do with me-understandable.
I have never felt so lousy. After so many train wreck relationships, I meet a beautiful woman that I connected with only to let her slip away because of my loveless marriage. I can’t stop thinking about her, but of course I know I have to leave her alone. I was falling for her and now I feel like my heart is shattered again.
I feel alone trying to navigate this situation. It is also not fair to my wife to lead her along either- I realize that. She just keeps on putting on more weight, my attraction just isn't there. My wife has given me an ultimatum to start a family at the end of the month. I know I can’t do that. 
Any advice anyone could offer would be much appreciated.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

INK what the problem is, your old lady gave you a choice, so tell her no, that you don't want kids and except her offer to end the marriage.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

the guy said:


> INK what the problem is, your old lady gave you a choice, so tell her no, that you don't want kids and except her offer to end the marriage.


Yep.


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## CarlaRose (Jul 6, 2014)

Your wife settled too. She also is in a loveless marriage. She had her reasons just like you had yours. The difference is she has hope for a future and lasting marriage, whereas you have none because you're too busy thinking there is green grass somewhere else. It's odd this ONE woman turned you on, so I have to wonder what your problem is. Whatever it is, your wife settled for that too. Do her the favor before there are children to blame your problems on, and tell her you are getting a divorce. Tell her you made a mistake and now realize you don't want a family. Let her know it is not her fault and there is nothing she did to bring this on.


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