# confused and hurting need advice



## jeremy27 (Oct 19, 2009)

me and my wife have been together for 9 yrs and married for 6 yrs and have a 4 yr old son i love her with all of my heart but throughout our marriage we have had our problems and do not communicate like we used to, we started our relationship with a unbelievable bond that made everyone jealous, over the yrs we both have changed but she has seemed to have changed a lot do to college, having a child, and her new career, i have to admit during our marriage i have not gave her the affection that she needs and over the last 2 yrs she has done the same to me, college introduced her to new friends which is fine but i feel i am second to her friends, facebook, myspace and texting and talking on the phone is a continuous problem and when i comment about the problem she gets mad, about 2 days ago she came to me and said that she loves me but is not in love with me, there is no kissing or sex for about the last 2 wks she says it feels like kissing a stranger, she says she is heartbroken that she feels this way and i believe her, my heart is broken and i have cried with her and asked her what i can do to bring the spark back, she says she does not know if anything can bring it back, do i go with my heart and try my best to try to fix this or give her space and possibly let her go if she feels that is the only option. She is my first everything and my everything i can not eat or sleep or figure out how to deal with this i need help


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Jeremy, I am sorry you are going through this pain. Giving her space is the right thing to do. Your first instinct I'm sure is to tell her over and over again how much you love her, and pursue her like mad. Right now that most likely will just push her away. You need to show her that you can be okay without her. 

In the meantime, work on yourself. Pick up an old hobby. Start running if you don't or start exercising of some kind. You need to divert your emotional energy into something positive for you.

I know it is hard to do, but you need to do so. Make sure you take care of your needs.


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## wantosaveit (Oct 17, 2009)

You have a child = role model to your child - eating staying healthy - take the child to the park - do things with your child - be the best dad you can - children are the best therapy - stay strong and happy for them . Thats what got me through this. I also gave my husband the space he wanted i didnt contact him for 4 days and now he rung and i told him id been so busy doing things with kids and he misses us and wants to work it out. Get on the phone and talk to the phone counsellors - punch a pillow of a night time - smell the roses and i put myself to sleep to meditation most nights or mornings.


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## wantosaveit (Oct 17, 2009)

Try TO do things that attracted you to each other in the first place


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