# wife decided she doesnt need her family



## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

So this all started 3 weeks ago my wife told me she was going to the store and i didnt hear from her until 4am she was at a local bar....i also found a number from a guy she had deskised as a girls name,,,i used my connection from a mobile carrier to find the name she had told me it was a girl friend and found out it was a guy from work,,,i reall tought something bad had happend but no she was just having a blast pfffft so i had called her mom my mom and i was actualy looking for her.....so story made short she told me the number is just a friend from work....yeah right....she has moved back in and keeps on going out she sometimes does not come home,,,from the gym or work she leavea and doesnt come home till later 1 or 2,,,,she tells me she stayed with her friend. its been a rollercoster and i just feel stupid to have married this woman,,,from one day to another she turned into this new crazy unstable person....we have a D 1 and S 5 and she preffers to be out that with them please help


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

What "friend" does she mean? When you tell her this behavior is not acceptable for a married woman and a mother, what does she say?


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

i had found a number on her phone records that she had texted that day she had left to the bar.....and that number was under girls name she told me it was her friend wich turned out to be a guy after further research she just said it was a guy friend from work...but previous to that she told me it was a girl and she kept on calling and texting that person once i had confronted her total bs she had never acted like that before....about her behavior i told her what was up with that she told me yea i was wrong but i am leaving you hope that makes your life happy,,,,,she hasnt owned up to what shes done she tells me she talks to friend but not how i am thinking i mean come on whos out at 4 am wen bars close at 2


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

she also tells me we are getting a divorce were not married u cant stop me shes angry and cold i own to my mistakes and my behavior i was controlling and under a fog and i kno i pushed her to the limit but its all too crazy right now


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Why the title? What family? Children ? How long married?

What are you asking info for?


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

well she is taking the family for granted like we dont exist anymore neglectin are kids and partying and going out with who knows who,,,,i have a doughte 1yr a son 5yr and we have been married 3 years and together for 8....i just need advice inregards to her behavior and what to do i currently live in are home she does to but its so tence i dont talk only wen she talks to me and i started going out to how do i deal with living in the same house


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Look at your phone bill first. You'll probably get a surprise at the volume of calls/texts. She's right on one thing you don't have a marriage. Give her what she wants. File.


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

i have the tmobile app so i saw all the history but she blocked me because i was calling numbers she had been in contact with that night


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

She is saying she wants a divorce and acting like she is already. There is nothing that you can do to stop her. 

However, if she is behaving that way I would ask her to leave. She can go and "be single."

You protect yourself (assets; chidren). 

I am sorry but there is nothing that we can do about others behaviors but protect ourselves and get help for our own behalf.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

ramona said:


> she also tells me we are getting a divorce were not married u cant stop me shes angry and cold i own to my mistakes and my behavior i was controlling and under a fog and i kno i pushed her to the limit but its all too crazy right now


Blame shifting. It is obvious your W has checked out of the marriage. File.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

She said what she wants..., a divorce. That's reason enough for you to go find a lawyer, and settle for nothing less than custody and the house. She should also be forced to pay child support.

She obviously has no boundaries in her mind, and doesn't have any respect for you, the children, or her marriage. So, give her what she wants.

I know it hurts, and this is probably not what you want to hear, but it is the only reasonable option. She is likely having an affair, and doesn't care who she hurts in the process. Give her back her freedom, and move on. Either way, there will be pain. At least with a divorce, the pain will eventually go away, but if you stay with her the pain will continue indefinitely.


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

So she is spending time and going out with a supposed girlfriend who in fact is a male co-worker of hers. Man what could they possibly be doing?



ramona said:


> she also tells me* we are getting a divorce were not married *u cant stop me shes angry and cold i own to my mistakes and my behavior i was controlling and under a fog and i kno i pushed her to the limit but its all too crazy right now


She wants a divorce but you are not married?


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

she does sound checked out...... i just love this woman so much how can they turn on you like that.....i guess i do have to make sure my kids have what they need and look for the best outcome for them....


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

we are married but she told me she wanted a divorce and she told me u cant stop me and she said were not married i mean we are but in her head she already knows were not idk this girl is crazy


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

How old are you and your wife?

What else has been going on? Specifically when you say you were "Controlling and under a fog"?


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

should i move out of the house or live there threw the divorce process????? i am deffinetly going to look into a lawyer and seperate bank acc,,,, yall think if i hire a private investigator and they catch her with someone else i can use that to get full custody of the kids


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

ramona said:


> should i move out of the house or live there threw the divorce process????? i am deffinetly going to look into a lawyer and seperate bank acc,,,, yall think if i hire a private investigator and they catch her with someone else i can use that to get full custody of the kids


Maybe back up and tell us the rest of the story. You didn't get to this point overnight.


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

my wife is 25 and i am 26....i am going to have heart surgey in 3 months from today and i was depressed and i would control her by not letting her talk to guy friends or her clothes if they were a little tight she would change them and also like going to places alone like the store or any were even with her really good girl friend i would get jelous.....i stopped focusing on me and i was doing and putting too much att onto her i guess she was sofficated idk


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Do not move out of the house!

Consult a lawyer, and make sure you are cared for regarding your heart surgery.

find a caregiver for you and your kids.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

ramona said:


> my wife is 25 and i am 26....i am going to have heart surgey in 3 months from today and i was depressed and i would control her by not letting her talk to guy friends or her clothes if they were a little tight she would change them and also like going to places alone like the store or any were even with her really good girl friend i would get jelous.....i stopped focusing on me and i was doing and putting too much att onto her i guess she was sofficated idk


25 is pretty young. 

The issue with guy friends...really depends on how you handled it. 

Telling her how to dress....not advisable...but also depends exactly how you did it. 

Isolating her from female friends...not a good idea...bordering on maybe creepy. 

It kinda sounds like you were actually focusing completely on you...not the opposite. 

What else...This doesn't seem to be enough (normally) for a wife and mother to just bounce like that.


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

she also never wanted to speak about are problems she was the distance and me the persu her allot,,,i meant instead on focusing on stuff i like to do like run go with my buddys i was basicaly just attending her needs i was cleaning the house since wen she was working cooking and taking care of the kids i was also suffocated so we fought allot infront of kids wich i know was a really bad thing to do....i also think she had stress and pressure inregards to my surgey i felt a change in her...she was worried about finances with the medical pills coming in idk we were once talking about something and she noticed that i did not agree and she told me you know what i should know better i should keep quiet idk i guess shes wanting to have her fun and not be stuck with me since i am going threw my heart issues,,,,but if someone cant atay with me wen i am going to need them the most its better if they are not with me at all


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

she also never wanted to speak about are problems she was the distance and me the persu her allot,,,i meant instead on focusing on stuff i like to do like run go with my buddys i was basicaly just attending her needs i was cleaning the house since wen she was working cooking and taking care of the kids i was also suffocated so we fought allot infront of kids wich i know was a really bad thing to do....i also think she had stress and pressure inregards to my surgey i felt a change in her...she was worried about finances with the medical pills coming in idk we were once talking about something and she noticed that i did not agree and she told me you know what i should know better i should keep quiet idk i guess shes wanting to have her fun and not be stuck with me since i am going threw my heart issues,,,,but if someone cant atay with me wen i am going to need them the most its better if they are not with me at all


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

she also never wanted to speak about are problems she was the distance and me the persu her allot,,,i meant instead on focusing on stuff i like to do like run go with my buddys i was basicaly just attending her needs i was cleaning the house since wen she was working cooking and taking care of the kids i was also suffocated so we fought allot infront of kids wich i know was a really bad thing to do....i also think she had stress and pressure inregards to my surgey i felt a change in her...she was worried about finances with the medical pills coming in idk we were once talking about something and she noticed that i did not agree and she told me you know what i should know better i should keep quiet idk i guess shes wanting to have her fun and not be stuck with me since i am going threw my heart issues,,,,but if someone cant atay with me wen i am going to need them the most its better if they are not with me at all


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

You are in a full panic mode. You are throwing facts around helter skelter. Try again; 

How many years living together and how many of those years married? 
Gender and age of each child.
Are all the children both of your's? 
Are you working or on disability of any type? 
Do you own or rent? 
Does she want to leave the children with you. 
Why are you waiting 3 months for heart surgery? Do you live in the US? 

Finally do not leave the house!


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## ramona (Apr 19, 2016)

yeah sorry i have answers all over the place so we have been together 8 years living together 6 married for 3 

we have 2 kids, Doughter 1 son 5 we own are own home, no i dont have disability and i am waithing 3 months because i have a bicuspic valve that needs replacement but not urgent it even might be more than the 3 months.

my doughter is my blood and my son is not but hea like my own, i was there wen he was born so i have a deep attachment....


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Next time she goes out, have the locks changed and leave a note with your lawyer's number on it to arrange visitation with the kids. 

Which she has pretty much abandoned.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

ramona said:


> she does sound checked out...... i just love this woman so much how can they turn on you like that.....i guess i do have to make sure my kids have what they need and look for the best outcome for them....


When looking for answers, *DOES EQUALS IS*

Sorry you are here.

Actions *do* speak louder than words. 

*She wants OUT*, yet has no plan on where to lay her torso down.

Short term..no problem. The other man or men will push down the grass or bedding in a semi-circle with their grubby paws, similar to the alley cat that is getting ready to get some zzzz's.

The semi-permanent bedding is at your abode. Eventually, some wastrel will snatch her up and take her to his tree house. You know, where the air is cleaner and the view is wonderful. Unlike at your house.

Get an attorney, *file divorce papers*, kick her out. If she will not go, tell her that you will take the kids and skiddo.

*She should go, she should go*. But again if she doesn't, you are supporting her cheating behavior. She is having booze and d!cks on your dime and on your time. Did I mention...in your face. Sad.

And if you do leave with the children. lay a double-line patch of rubber marks in your driveway, to boot! 

*Your rubbery smoke needs to obliterate her DANK ALCOHOLIC FOG.*


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