# lonely and lost



## alicewonderland (Feb 11, 2011)

Hi I have been reading other peoples threads and now feel like I am not the only one in this mess. I have been married 20 years and was married quite young. After 5 years when the kids were 6 mths and 2 yrs he became physically abusive. This ended 7 years later when the last time there was blood and I threatened that if he ever touched me again our marriage would be over. He didn’t however he started verbal abuse i.e. I am depressed and need help. As I believe in keeping the family together no matter what I stayed in the marriage however I never really felt the same towards him and he felt this and maybe that’s why he was always angry at me.

Two months ago he left me. I can’t believe it after everything I put up with he left because he says I don’t want to fight any more. What a pathetic excuse and I told him that. He then lied about leaving saying to our friends I kicked him out which I didn’t and other lies and our friends now socialise with him and do not contact me. I have felt so lonely and abandoned by everyone. My family keep saying it’s up to me to ask him to come back home and just put up with it but I don’t want to any more. 

I have booked couples counselling and he lies so nothing has eventuated and have cancelled. I have spent the last two months crying and my health has suffered as I have been so confused. Last week he changed bank accounts and said he will only pay half of mortgage and give me child support for my younger child. He knows I can’t survive on my way. I feel as though he just wants to punish me and hurt me and I know it takes two to argue and I am not perfect but I always ask why this happening is. How do I move forward? Things are at a standstill and it seems he is waiting for me to make a move but so confused. I don’t think I really want him back anymore and my life has changed so much. Trying to mix with some people from work but so hard to move forward.

Thanks for listening


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry you are going through this. I know how hard all of this can be when a long-term marriage comes to an end.

Unless he is willing to change his behavior and participate in marriage counseling, I think you are better off without him. Are you currently seeing a counselor? If not, you may want to do so...especially since you were the victim of physical and verbal abuse.

You really need to see an attorney for advice. Now is the time to begin protecting yourself financially. Most attorneys won't charge you for the initial consultation.

Hang in there!


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