# Actual E-Mail I Received from my 2010 Online Dating Days (Red Pill Gold Mine)



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

In light of some recent conversations I’ve seen on here I’m reminded of an email I received 12 years when I was single and online dating. It was such a great example of Red Pill thinking that I saved it too a folder and never deleted it. I’ll let the email speak for itself but the circumstances was that I was in the messaging phase of talking to a woman on **** and I got busy for a few days and changed my location and this woman thought I had ghosted her and this was her response:

*P, This is designed in no way to illicit any reaction or response from you. I hate manipulation, manipulators, and the like. Now that that's been said... I suppose I shoud apologize for behavior that must have made you fee cyber-stalked. In retropspect I probably came on way too strong. I bought my ** subscription specifically for the purpose of contacting you. Perhaps that admission just worsened my case ... Anyhow, I'm 31. I have paid absolutely no attention to the future with respect to my love life. I focused nearly exclusively on my education, then my career. I did have a few serious, long-term relationships with men that were a ton of fun but whom I never intended any to have sort of permanent connection to. I did not choose boyfriends with the future in mind. I felt sorry for my contemporaries who were getting married left and right up until a couple of years ago. I guess I thought I'd be young forever and so on... THEN I turned 30. And I suddenly realized that dating when you're young should be in anticipation of the future, not about whatever it was I was doing. I'm still unsure. So, up until a few months ago I had this boyfriend, Matt, and I decided he was awesome but he drank too much. Not cool. So, I got a new job, moved to (redacted) and bought a house. And now that I'm here I look around and see there are virtually NO men who are nice and funny, and NOT self absorbed babies with two or three divorces and kids to match. I don't want a perfect specimen (which is only veneer, anyway) if he comes with baby mama drama and more hair products than me. So, I must have put my ** profile up and then hidden it and then removed it and so on in excess of 20 times. Not kidding. I felt embarrassed by it. I was afraid someone I knew would find out. It seemed so desperate. But I came across you one of the times I was "unhidden" and I guess I was so blown away by how you have a career but you don't seem like an egomaniac and no kids and you ARE to die for funny and I have this weird thing for John Goodman that my friends think is a joke, but it's NOT. And I just decided, without knowing very much of anything about you, that I wanted to meet you as quickly as possible, determine if there was any chemistry and, if not proceed quickly. But, dating isn't a goal friendly activity. So, I apologize. Bottom line. If you actually read this whole thing I'll be amazed. I've been for real stalked, albeit briefly, and I know I never read anything he sent. I set up a gmail filter to deliver mail from him directly to the trash. Not a suggestion! Lol. Anyway, best wishes in your career and dating life. Hope your interview goes well. D*


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

The only commentary I’ll give is Rollo Tomassi would have a field day with this email.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Maybe you should consider deleting it now.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Prodigal said:


> Maybe you should consider deleting it now.


I don’t think that I will. I’ve got my reasons.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Whatever your reasons are, if it works for you then by all means keep an email from what sounds like a screwball.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Sooooooo........

I keep waiting for the part where you say, "and we've been married for 8 years now".


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Sooooooo........
> 
> I keep waiting for the part where you say, "and we've been married for 8 years now".


Well she was obviously into me and a bit crazy so she might have been fun in bed.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Indeed…..

and an example of “oversharing” of epic proportions. So you look like John Goodman, huh doc? Lol


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Hide your daughter’s rabbit before it ends up on the stove.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> Indeed…..
> 
> and an example of “oversharing” of epic proportions. So you look like John Goodman, huh doc? Lol


I dressed up as Walter from the Big Lebowski for Halloween that year and put the pics on Match. I used to get patients all the time say I reminded them of a celebrity and it was always John Goodman. A lot of it was the deep booming voice actually. When I lost weight it changed to Seth Rogan.


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## marko polo (Jan 26, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> In light of some recent conversations I’ve seen on here I’m reminded of an email I received 12 years when I was single and online dating. It was such a great example of Red Pill thinking that I saved it too a folder and never deleted it. I’ll let the email speak for itself but the circumstances was that I was in the messaging phase of talking to a woman on **** and I got busy for a few days and changed my location and this woman thought I had ghosted her and this was her response:
> 
> *P, This is designed in no way to illicit any reaction or response from you. I hate manipulation, manipulators, and the like. Now that that's been said... I suppose I shoud apologize for behavior that must have made you fee cyber-stalked. In retropspect I probably came on way too strong. I bought my ** subscription specifically for the purpose of contacting you. Perhaps that admission just worsened my case ... Anyhow, I'm 31. I have paid absolutely no attention to the future with respect to my love life. I focused nearly exclusively on my education, then my career. I did have a few serious, long-term relationships with men that were a ton of fun but whom I never intended any to have sort of permanent connection to. I did not choose boyfriends with the future in mind. I felt sorry for my contemporaries who were getting married left and right up until a couple of years ago. I guess I thought I'd be young forever and so on... THEN I turned 30. And I suddenly realized that dating when you're young should be in anticipation of the future, not about whatever it was I was doing. I'm still unsure. So, up until a few months ago I had this boyfriend, Matt, and I decided he was awesome but he drank too much. Not cool. So, I got a new job, moved to (redacted) and bought a house. And now that I'm here I look around and see there are virtually NO men who are nice and funny, and NOT self absorbed babies with two or three divorces and kids to match. I don't want a perfect specimen (which is only veneer, anyway) if he comes with baby mama drama and more hair products than me. So, I must have put my ** profile up and then hidden it and then removed it and so on in excess of 20 times. Not kidding. I felt embarrassed by it. I was afraid someone I knew would find out. It seemed so desperate. But I came across you one of the times I was "unhidden" and I guess I was so blown away by how you have a career but you don't seem like an egomaniac and no kids and you ARE to die for funny and I have this weird thing for John Goodman that my friends think is a joke, but it's NOT. And I just decided, without knowing very much of anything about you, that I wanted to meet you as quickly as possible, determine if there was any chemistry and, if not proceed quickly. But, dating isn't a goal friendly activity. So, I apologize. Bottom line. If you actually read this whole thing I'll be amazed. I've been for real stalked, albeit briefly, and I know I never read anything he sent. I set up a gmail filter to deliver mail from him directly to the trash. Not a suggestion! Lol. Anyway, best wishes in your career and dating life. Hope your interview goes well. D*


Doesn't appear that you missed an opportunity, only potential disaster.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I've seen similar things play out among the ladies I know personally. It's why I can't dismiss Red Pill completely. So many people, heck, myself included if I am being honest, waste their youth playing around and dating people they shouldn't. By the time they wake up, they're 30+ carrying a lot of baggage, don't look as good as they used to, and have higher expectations than they should.


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Think she is still available?
Asking for….
🤔


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> Think she is still available?
> Asking for….
> 🤔


I bet she eventually snagged a husband.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Well ...did you meet up with her or not ?


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

😆 drama queens here I s’pose.

She’s a chatter box and kinda weird, definitely not worthy of a date with us Mr. perfects for sure.

we all got our flaws, some of us rattle on and some of us save emails from non-dates from years ago so we can post em and laugh while we judge the lesser thans.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Keepin-my-head-up said:


> 😆 drama queens here I s’pose.
> 
> She’s a chatter box and kinda weird, definitely not worthy of a date with us Mr. perfects for sure.
> 
> we all got our flaws, some of us rattle on and some of us save emails from non-dates from years ago so we can post em and laugh while we judge the lesser thans.


I never said I didn’t go on a date with her.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

CallingDrLove said:


> I never said I didn’t go on a date with her.


I'd have gone. She seemed interesting enough to meet at least.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Not really sure what the purpose of this post is, but her message implies she has regret for wasting her 20s sleeping with bad boys and Chads and now wants to "settle", and when you didn't take the bait and told her to piss off, she had to come back and have the last word. Women hate getting rejected and they always have to get the last word in.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ArthurGPym said:


> Women hate getting rejected and they always have to get the last word in.


Not ALL women....I hate rejection because it hurts, but it never makes me angry and I never have to get the last word in about it.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

A bit "vivacious", but not too bad...


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

CallingDrLove said:


> I never said I didn’t go on a date with her.


So what exactly transpired after you got her email?

Did you meet her, date her etc?

How did things leave off?


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Why did I post this you ask? It’s pretty obvious that this response is a woman explicitly explaining her dating strategy of her 20s. She’s telling me what the red pill manosphere has been saying for years, yet in this case it’s a woman explicitly spelling it all out.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

CallingDrLove said:


> Why did I post this you ask? It’s pretty obvious that this response is a woman explicitly explaining her dating strategy of her 20s. She’s telling me what the red pill manosphere has been saying for years, yet in this case it’s a woman explicitly spelling it all out.


what is the red pill manosphere been saying for years, exactly? I'm trying to connect the email to the manosphere, but I'm not having much success.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Sooooooo........
> 
> I keep waiting for the part where you say, "and we've been married for 8 years now".


This was my exact reaction. LOL


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

There is obviously more to the story.

It wasn’t my intention to ghost her. I was out visiting family at my grandparents 60th anniversary party and was off Match for a few days.

I showed the message to my brother and he laughed and we called her the “stalker from ___”. I wrote back to her and basically said “calm down woman” and that I hadn’t ghosted her and we kept talking.

Was this the right thing to do? Should I have just ignored her and said the email had too many red flags? Maybe.

Anyway, we talked and we went out on a date. She was a real sweetheart. She was attractive, fun, and honestly didn’t seem crazy at all other than she was obviously very crazy about me.

So I’ve been married to her for 11 years, we have an 8 and 5 year old boy together and we have a good life. I hate the term because it reminds be of douche bag pick up artists but she calls me her alpha male and obviously adores me. We have lots of fun together and are very happy.

As for her dating Chad’s in her youth I’ve learned over the years that she dated some decent guys with some idiots sprinkled in. In fact the literal guy named Chad ended up being a closeted bisexual and a giant wimp.

The reason she pursued me so hard is because I was the catch. I never going to claim I was the safe nice guy because I wasn’t.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> This was my exact reaction. LOL


He was a little off on the duration.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So do you feel if you met her when she was younger that she would have married you and been happy?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

CallingDrLove said:


> So I’ve been married to her for 11 years, we have an 8 and 5 year old boy together and we have a good life.


Hahaha plot twist 😅


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

CallingDrLove said:


> He was a little off on the duration.


I knew it. I kind of like the transparency of her email, like hey if someone intrigues you, shoot your shot, she shot it and here we are. Actually kind of a sweet story.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

ArthurGPym said:


> Not really sure what the purpose of this post is, but her message implies she has regret for wasting her 20s sleeping with bad boys and Chads and now wants to "settle", and when you didn't take the bait and told her to piss off, she had to come back and have the last word. Women hate getting rejected and they always have to get the last word in.


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Turning 30 now realizing....

This hints to too much history of a free ride on the CC and now seeing the email recipient as captain save a garden implement to me. I don't know, I'd ask a couple of direct questions, but I don't think she'd pass many if any of my deal-breakers.

For example if you stacked all the pee-nice she had had on-top of each other base to tip and jumped off, would you get injured? If yes, no dice. If even one of those members were dark-roast, no-dice. If she had two or more of those members at the same time, no-dice. If any of those members overlapped without knowing of each other, no-dice. And so on....


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

I don't even get what the point of that was?!?


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Failed to meet criteria?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CallingDrLove said:


> Why did I post this you ask? It’s pretty obvious that this response is a woman explicitly explaining her dating strategy of her 20s. She’s telling me what the red pill manosphere has been saying for years, yet in this case it’s a woman explicitly spelling it all out.


Her dating strategy in her 20's is not all that different from the dating strategy of men in their 20's. Most people get their act together after that.


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Her dating strategy in her 20's is not all that different from the dating strategy of men in their 20's. Most people get their act together after that.


Men and women are not the same and their choices when the same have different outcomes.

A woman has to show up and be willing to get laid, a man has to bring much more to the table. That is why the sexual histories of men and women are perceived differently as well.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Ursula said:


> I don't even get what the point of that was?!?


Thanks for your opinion. I’ll try to keep it in mind in the future when I post.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Dictum Veritas said:


> Failed to meet criteria?


I don’t know. I always got the impression it was just 13 years of serial monogamy before she met me. Your criteria has obviously led you to a long and happy marriage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Her dating strategy in her 20's is not all that different from the dating strategy of men in their 20's. Most people get their act together after that.





Dictum Veritas said:


> Men and women are not the same and their choices when the same have different outcomes.
> 
> A woman has to show up and be willing to get laid, a man has to bring much more to the table. That is why the sexual histories of men and women are perceived differently as well.


You clearly missed my point. A lot of women in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. A lot of men in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. Then both men and women very often realize that there is more to life than just dating and they want something more significant.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> You clearly missed my point. A lot of women in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. A lot of men in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. Then both men and women very often realize that there is more to life than just dating and they want something more significant.


I believe the above to be true.

there are not a lot of marriage minded and marriage-material women in their 20s.

And there a not a lot of attractive, marriage minded and marriage material men - ever.

So the catch for a lot of women is the few attractive, marriage minded, marriage material men get with the marriage material women fairly early so by the time these women are in their 30s, their options have dwindled.

There was even some study back in the mid 80s that stated a woman over 30 was statistically more likely to be killed by terrorists than to get married after 30.

That is obviously not accurate today (if it was even back then) and I believe people can find love at any age. 

But a lot of the good looking, successful guys that women want to marry, are either going to marry the marriage-material chicks in their 20s, or those guys are going to be non committing and spinning plates indefinitely.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> I believe the above to be true.
> 
> there are not a lot of marriage minded and marriage-material women in their 20s.
> 
> And there a not a lot of attractive, marriage minded and marriage material men - ever.


But below you said that a lot of older guys are marrying young women in their 20's. So there must be plenty of young women willing to marry. By age 29, 62% of women are married.



oldshirt said:


> So the catch for a lot of women is the few attractive, marriage minded, marriage material men get with the marriage material women fairly early so by the time these women are in their 30s, their options have dwindled.
> 
> There was even some study back in the mid 80s that stated a woman over 30 was statistically more likely to be killed by terrorists than to get married after 30.
> 
> ...


By age 35, about 74% of women are married. So, it seems that most women do just fine. There are of course plenty of men and women who never want to marry and never do.

NSFG - Listing M - Key Statistics from the National Survey of Family Growth (cdc.gov)


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> There is obviously more to the story.
> 
> It wasn’t my intention to ghost her. I was out visiting family at my grandparents 60th anniversary party and was off Match for a few days.
> 
> ...


I was going to call you out, as James Cagney would have said, you dirly rat, for gloating over her email, but the marriage part came as a surprise like a romance movie with a twist at the end.
Lovely story, thank you for posting.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> But below you said that a lot of older guys are marrying young women in their 20's. So there must be plenty of young women willing to marry. By age 29, 62% of women are married.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh I believe people can find someone to marry at any age. 

- just not their first choice or who they necessarily want to.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I didn’t see anything wrong with the mail at all and it highlights exactly what the Dr claims. 

The young lady was just out having fun and then a switch flipped and she decided she wanted something different.

Glad it worked out!


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> You clearly missed my point. A lot of women in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. A lot of men in their 20's are dating just to date and not looking for someone to settle down with and marry. Then both men and women very often realize that there is more to life than just dating and they want something more significant.


Things aren't the same for men and women. Almost any woman can date like crazy in her 20's, but not many men can pull that off. Some of the ladies escape this dating spree unscathed but others end up bitter and jaded. Usually, for a man to be bitter and jaded it's because he couldn't date, not because he dated too much. You end up with a lot of bitter women suddenly willing to talk to the bitter men and it often does not go over well.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> Oh I believe people can find someone to marry at any age.
> 
> - just not their first choice or who they necessarily want to.


LOL... good grief. Nonsense.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Oh I believe people can find someone to marry at any age.
> 
> - just not their first choice or who they necessarily want to.


But I also think that many people really don't know what they want or what they are really attracted to in a partner until they meet that person, and then they are often shocked that the person they fall head over heels for is nothing like who they imagined they would be with.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I didn't see any correlation between attraction and my age ranges of 20-40 dating this year. I mean a near 40 yr old was simply more attractive than the women I dated in their 20s.

Then again I go for Asians so 😅


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> I didn't see any correlation between attraction and my age ranges of 20-40 dating this year. I mean a near 40 yr old was simply more attractive than the women I dated in their 20s.
> 
> *Then again I go for Asians so* 😅


Took my wife out for dinner the other day and the host asked if we needed a kids menu. She's 34.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Took my wife out for dinner the other day and the host asked if we needed a kids menu. She's 34.


You better get used to it until menopause, then everyone will be asking you guys WTF happened


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> Thanks for your opinion. I’ll try to keep it in mind in the future when I post.


Oh no worries, post what you like as long as it's within the TAM rules. Your original post just didn't make any sense to me at all, and I truly didn't understand what it was you were trying to ask or find out.


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