# For those of you with children around ages 6-10.....how do they react?



## TGTLTBTS (Sep 16, 2011)

I am wondering if some of you with children between the ages of 6-10 would share how your kids reacted when you told them that you and your spouse were seperating or divorcing. I am only concerned for the well being of my children, and although I firmly believe that staying in an unhappy marriage is not what is best for them I just would like to have some idea of what to expect. I realize all children are different and alot has to do with surrounding circumstances but if you would just share your experiences with me I would greatly appreciate any feedback.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think a significant factor is the relationship of the parents after the separation/divorce and the degree of upheaval the kids have to deal with. My youngest is 10, and he was upset to begin with. Telling the two kids was the worst day of my life, I think. But we kept their lives the same, as much as possible, and my wife and I have remained amicable throughout. And I think that now, about 8 months later, the kids are doing ok with it. Pretty sure I wouldn't be saying that if there was a nasty custody battle, or the kids were being used as a weapon in a power struggle. Or if the kids had to move or switch schools.

Long term, we'll see.

C
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## TGTLTBTS (Sep 16, 2011)

I agree and I am hoping if it comes to a dissolution that my H and I can remain amicable if for no other reason than the children. I know I may be totally naive but I don't see that being an issue, Our relationship has never been volatile and have only raised our voices maybe 3 times in front of our children as we always wait til the kids are in bed or away to discuss anything that may lead to arguments or yelling in any way. So I am concerned about how they will be confused since from the outside looking in we are the picture perfect family and although I do notice that they have picked up on "something" along the way because they ask "odd" divorce questions that I am not sure where they come up with but I fully understand how kids are more aware of what is going on than we sometimes want to give them credit for.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

We were the same way, and I had the same concerns. The kids said they didn't notice there were any problems, but I don't know if that's true. Wasn't too important.

C
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## TGTLTBTS (Sep 16, 2011)

If you don't mind me asking, how old were your children when you separated?


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## TGTLTBTS (Sep 16, 2011)

I need to reread before asking questions.....sorry. Your youngest was 10


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Oldest was 12, btw... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tommo (Oct 1, 2011)

Between 6 and 10. That's rough. My opinion...as I have done...is to wait another 12 years and endure the torture and misery.

My own 12 years have just passed...and my three children are now leaving the nest...all wanting to take me with them. Just the other day we four guys were out having pizza and another school parent said hello and told me that "You've got three good sons."

Yeah...in the scheme of things...it was worth enduring it all.


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