# I hear about full disclosure BUT



## sailing free (Feb 29, 2012)

What is stopping them from getting another free email through gmail or aim or hotmail...? Even a prepaid cell phone that is with the same carrier as the Other Party so it wouldn't cost more than $10-$20 a month. Who would miss that little bit of pocket change... They can keep the cell phone hidden in their car. I don't know....I don't want to feed anyones insecurities but seriously, I don't believe a leopard loses his spots... a cheat is a cheat...a liar is a liar....it is only a matter of time...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Which is why verification is also important. VAR's and keyloggers can help uncover the pay as you go phones and secret email acct


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Which isn't to say if you have no interest in spying and want to just file, by all means do that.


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## sailing free (Feb 29, 2012)

I guess I have just been so guilty of HOPE...

BTW, what is a VAR?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Voice activated recorder
Best to put under the car seat with velcro as most cheaters make their secret calls in the car


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm not sure if my signature shows up when I use tapatalk (mobile app), but I have a "welcome CWI newbies" link
In the signature if most of my posts that you should read


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

sailing free said:


> What is stopping them from getting another free email through gmail or aim or hotmail...? Even a prepaid cell phone that is with the same carrier as the Other Party so it wouldn't cost more than $10-$20 a month. Who would miss that little bit of pocket change... They can keep the cell phone hidden in their car. I don't know....I don't want to feed anyones insecurities but seriously, I don't believe a leopard loses his spots... a cheat is a cheat...a liar is a liar....it is only a matter of time...


Because they now know that you will be tracking....


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Nothing is stopping them, hopefully they just won't! But if you need to, by all means VAR/keylogger...


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

sailing free said:


> What is stopping them from getting another free email through gmail or aim or hotmail...? Even a prepaid cell phone that is with the same carrier as the Other Party so it wouldn't cost more than $10-$20 a month. Who would miss that little bit of pocket change... They can keep the cell phone hidden in their car. I don't know....I don't want to feed anyones insecurities but seriously, I don't believe a leopard loses his spots... a cheat is a cheat...a liar is a liar....it is only a matter of time...


 Full disclosure agreements make it almost impossible for them to gaslight you when you catch them. "Just friends", "overly jealous", "controlling", etc., all these go out the window as cover when you have a full disclosure agreement that they have broken.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Everyone lies. The onus is on you to learn enough about them to understand when they're lying to you and when they're not and how well you get along with that.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

There's nothing stopping them from doing that. At some point you have to trust that they won't, or divorce them. VARs and keyloggers are not something that you want in your relationship forever. That's no way for either of you to live.

We're two years out from D day and it's only been the last couple of months that I feel the need to constantly check up on him diminishing significantly.


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

That is why I divorced my ex right away and why I was not interested in reconciliation in the slightest. Just because I knew in the back of my mind that I would never know FOR SURE that nothing was going on again and it would slowly drive me crazy and make me a person I didnt want to be. He did everything to try to reconcile and I had no desire at all. Trying to live with that the rest of my life wondering would have never have worked for me.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

HaHa said:


> That is why I divorced my ex right away and why I was not interested in reconciliation in the slightest. Just because I knew in the back of my mind that I would never know FOR SURE that nothing was going on again and it would slowly drive me crazy and make me a person I didnt want to be. He did everything to try to reconcile and I had no desire at all. Trying to live with that the rest of my life wondering would have never have worked for me.


But you never know for sure about ANYone. I feel more sure my hubby won't do anything like that again than I would be about someone who hadn't been through what we have together.


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

Hope1964 said:


> But you never know for sure about ANYone. I feel more sure my hubby won't do anything like that again than I would be about someone who hadn't been through what we have together.


It all depends on your perspective. For me, I feel more confident in someone who doesn’t have a track record of cheating than in someone who has already proved they are capable of it.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

HaHa said:


> It all depends on your perspective. For me, I feel more confident in someone who doesn’t have a track record of cheating than in someone who has already proved they are capable of it.


And you also don't have to live with the sh!tty memories/triggers. Good for you for moving on. I'd do the same with a cheater. I don't reconcile.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

HaHa said:


> It all depends on your perspective. For me, I feel more confident in someone who doesn’t have a track record of cheating than in someone who has already proved they are capable of it.


For me, the cheating and the mind movies of my W with another man hurt, but nothing compared to rejection of knowing that you are not the #1 man for your W anymore. That was the devastating part. It was not about her track record, its about her essentially telling me I was not (fill in the blank) enough for her, and realizing that after 7 years of intimacy together if I'm not what she wants I will never be.

Even if she comes to regret her choice I'm not going to waste the rest of my life with someone who settles for their backup option, so I've let her go.


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