# Spanking fetish?



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

What’s up with this spanking fetish? I didn’t realize it’s one Of the more popular fetishes out there.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Cupping hand only..... no flat palm. She doesn’t like that sting.


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Mr.Married said:


> Cupping hand only..... no flat palm. She doesn’t like that sting.


Too bad. I sure do!!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Wife likes it and has asked for it a few times over the years. Not my thing, but I'll slap her on the ass (sometimes) as I feel her building to an orgasm in doggy or cowgirl position. And she loves it. But I don't like the thought of hurting her and find it, jarring.

Wife is a strong business woman, and her favorite coffee mug says "I'm not bossy. I'm the BOSS". Ive always heard power bosses like to be dominated in their personal relations, since they must wear the strong face all day in their career.


----------



## Imagirl (Aug 17, 2020)

Oh I have pictures that would shock you lol


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


----------



## rockon (May 18, 2016)

I look at this the same as a foot fetish, just don't understand it.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


Are you asking from the bottom or the top perspective? Because the reasoning would be different. Also there would be a difference in the reasons between a Bottom and a Sub, or a Top and a Dom.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it gives some people pleasure. they say there is a thin line between pleasure and pain.
try it. if you like it, there are ways to enhance the experience, either by being bound, adding some breast abuse, etc.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

If anyone is interested/curious, I can provide the top 10 or 20 fetishes per FetLife. Spanking is actually #3


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> Wife likes it and has asked for it a few times over the years. Not my thing, but I'll slap her on the ass (sometimes) as I feel her building to an orgasm in doggy or cowgirl position. And she loves it. But I don't like the thought of hurting her and find it, jarring.
> 
> Wife is a strong business woman, and her favorite coffee mug says "I'm not bossy. I'm the BOSS". Ive always heard power bosses like to be dominated in their personal relations, since they must wear the strong face all day in their career.


While we typically associate a spanking, or most specifically impact to the butt cheeks, with pain from our childhood, it isn't necessarily painful. Especially within the context of highten stimulation during sex. I can all but guarantee you that you are NOT hurting your wife when you do it. Also, she might not want to be dominated. She may simply be a bottom with a penchant for spankings.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish. I just met a man who has a spanking fetish, he likes to do the spanking.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I had never given spanking a thought until I met my current BF. He‘s a butt guy and loves to spank both in and out of the bedroom. I like it, it adds an element of sass to our play time both in and out of the bedroom.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> While we typically associate a spanking, or most specifically impact to the butt cheeks, with pain from our childhood, it isn't necessarily painful. Especially within the context of highten stimulation during sex. I can all but guarantee you that you are NOT hurting your wife when you do it. Also, she might not want to be dominated. She may simply be a bottom with a penchant for spankings.


Sorry but if you are smacking/hitting someone you are inficting pain. 
I just dont get why any violence, giving or receiving, is part of a loving sexual relationship unless those taking part were sexually or in other ways damaged as a child. Otherwise why would anyone need to inflict or receive violence and pain to enjoy sex?


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

I love to spank, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a fetish for me. She likes it too and It was her who actually got me into it. 

Why? I suppose my enjoyment comes from the pleasure I see it gives her. 

I think there probably is an element of it being about power at some level. I certainly don’t like being spanked myself.

you need try it!


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Sorry but if you are smacking/hitting someone you are inficting pain.
> I just dont get why any violence, giving or receiving, is part of a loving sexual relationship unless those taking part were sexually or in other ways damaged as a child. Otherwise why would anyone need to inflict or receive violence and pain to enjoy sex?


It’s just harmless fun!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm uncertain about fetishes but I am turned on by women getting spanked.

I am not turned on by any inflicting of real pain or damage. Those actually make me angry.

There is just something about it that flips my switch.

In an aforementioned post, someone mentioned the visual of a spatula and I immediately got a good tingle.

There is something about the visual aspect that does it in part and, to be clear and emphasize, I don't like inflicting pain or any real damage or even the appearance of abuse.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Girl_power said:


> I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish. I just met a man who has a spanking fetish, he likes to do the spanking.


Did you ask him why it's a fetish for him?

Or were you distracted telling him how naughty you are and needed a good spanking?

Couldn't resist posting this


----------



## GutShot7 (Aug 2, 2020)

Fetish? I don't think I have any types of sexual fetishes.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Does he really have a fetish or simply likes to do it?


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish. I just met a man who has a spanking fetish, he likes to do the spanking.


It can be a fetish regardless of whether the person likes to give or receive.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Sorry but if you are smacking/hitting someone you are inficting pain.
> I just dont get why any violence, giving or receiving, is part of a loving sexual relationship unless those taking part were sexually or in other ways damaged as a child. Otherwise why would anyone need to inflict or receive violence and pain to enjoy sex?


Simply not true. But that comes from individual perceptions. I am telling you from personal experience, that such things can produce pleasure as well as pain. Mindset has a lot to do with it. But a good parallel, is like when you end up scratching an itch so much that it, as they say, hurts so good. Or that pleasure one can get from scratching at a scab. It hurts, but it also feels good.

This is where subjective experience comes in. For us that do this, it's not violence, not in the way your post seems to imply. While there are those who do indeed develop sadism or masochism from abuse, sexual or otherwise, the vast majority do not. It's simply a natural part of us. Think about this. Why do people need to invoke fear in themselves to have fun? What is the point of roller coasters and haunted houses? I don't get why any fear would be part of having fun unless those partaking of it were damaged as a child in some way.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Electric Prune said:


> I love to spank, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a fetish for me. She likes it too and It was her who actually got me into it.
> 
> Why? I suppose my enjoyment comes from the pleasure I see it gives her.
> 
> ...


Given that, it's probably just a kink for you. I had seen an article where it showed the difference between kink, fetish and philia , and basic that is the progression.

Edit: Found it. This was the key example in the article:



> If BDSM was something Kevin engaged in occasionally with his partner(s) for a little bit of extra fun during sex, we would say he’s got a kink. However, the behavior is clearly a primary element of Kevin’s sexual life, elevating BDSM the level of a fetish. Moreover, it is causing significant and ongoing stress and anxiety, affecting both his social and work life. Thus, for Kevin, BDSM is also a paraphilia.


BDSM was the example, but it applies to pretty much anything.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

GutShot7 said:


> Fetish? I don't think I have any types of sexual fetishes.


You might be surprised as to what are kinks and fetishes. And as per my previous posts, you might not have any fetishes, but you might have kinks.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I have kinks and fetishes but I keep them to myself


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


It can be either, or it may be neither. 

Without being TMI. Endorphins.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

So kink means trying and liking untraditional sex occasionally and fetish is more of a lifestyle?


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> So kink means trying and liking untraditional sex occasionally and fetish is more of a lifestyle?


It's less about frequency and more about needs. Lifestyle is a broad term that encompasses both kinks and fetishes. You can engage in a kink on a frequent basis, and never really "need" it, while you might need a certain fetish but not engage in it on a frequent basis. Keep in mind a couple of things. First, colloquially people tend to use kink and fetish as synonyms, and for casual conversation that is fine. Also, having a fetish doesn't mean that you can't get satisfaction from regular sex. 

To make a parallel, think about the difference between chopped steak and prime rib. You enjoy chopped steak, but get more taste satisfaction from the prime rib. That would be equivalent to having a fetish. You want that prime rib whenever you can get it, because it provides more satisfaction. For a kink, you enjoy both, and the prime rib makes a nice change of pace, but if you don't get it, you don't get it, no biggie.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I agree it's kind of two different things to like spanking whether it's giving or receiving occasionally and having an actual fetish that governs your sex life. A fetish that controls and limits your sex life is very unhealthy, but playing around with harmless occasional and consensual sex that you could either take or leave and wouldn't make you feel you had to choose a partner that would do it is no big deal. 

This just reminded me of a guy in my old crowd who was real popular. I remember him telling me completely deadpan, it's no fun unless they scream. He was kidding. He was so funny.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


Hell no I'm not answering this question.


Diana7 said:


> Sorry but if you are smacking/hitting someone you are inficting pain.
> I just dont get why any violence, giving or receiving, is part of a loving sexual relationship unless those taking part were sexually or in other ways damaged as a child. Otherwise why would anyone need to inflict or receive violence and pain to enjoy sex?


And that would be why. You see I rely on you people for social conversation. And every single kink From beards to polygamy will get that kind of comment from someone.
But if you did see this as a confession, then you should remember my trench in the sand about abuse.


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> So kink means trying and liking untraditional sex occasionally and fetish is more of a lifestyle?


It’s a fetish when you can’t get sexually aroused without it. It’s a highly overused term.


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

Not said:


> I had never given spanking a thought until I met my current BF. He‘s a butt guy and loves to spank both in and out of the bedroom. I like it, it adds an element of sass to our play time both in and out of the bedroom.


Exactly the same with me and my partner


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> So kink means trying and liking untraditional sex occasionally and fetish is more of a lifestyle?


This is my opinion... When sexuality is looked at from a perspective of nature versus nurture it can be insightful. A fetish is likely more tied to one's instinctual behaviors and is often an unchangeable attribute. For instance if someone has a foot fetish it is just an inherit part of who that person is and the odds are that it persist throughout that person's life.

A kink on the other hand is something learned and may come and go throughout a person's life. Somewhat like discovering an exciting novelty that is fun for a while or perhaps many years. Eventually it fades away in favor of something else new and exciting.

So @Girl_power it is important to be aware that one person's fetish can be another person's kink. The difference between the two would be to ask when it was discovered. Someone with a fetish will have always been that way, while someone with a kink will have only been introduced to it within the last few years. Someone with a kink will change over time while the person with a fetish is kind of hard wired to always be that way. 

I could be wrong as the above is just my opinion and what I have observed in myself and others from reading. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

badsanta said:


> Eventually [the kink] fades away in favor of something else new and exciting.
> Someone with a kink will change over time while the person with a fetish is kind of hard wired to always be that way.
> 
> I could be wrong as the above is just my opinion and what I have observed in myself and others from reading.


Not completely wrong, but partly so on the above. A kink may or may not fade in interest. We can also compare kink and fetish with the difference between a fan and a geek. You can have life long fans, and likewise, people can maintain a kink throughout their life. Also people with just a fetish (as compared to a paraphilia) can deal without having their fetish, they just don't like it. If they have an issue when not getting their fetish, then it becomes a paraphilia which makes it a disorder.)

I also want to put out here, for those who might not know. BDSM, under which kinks and fetishes are grouped, is not a kink or fetish in and of itself. It just encompasses way to much for anyone to realistically be into them all, especially the more esoteric ones.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

maquiscat said:


> A kink may or may *not* fade in interest.


I would argue that a life-long persisting kink is probably a misunderstood or malformed fetish. 

An example might be someone with a smoking fetish (where smoking was quickly banned at a young age) that somehow becomes fixated on inhalers after participating in the following trial: 

Inhaler could combat impotence in ten minutes 

Part of me is just joking with the example above, but part of me is serious.



Badsanta


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

badsanta said:


> I would argue that a life-long persisting kink is probably a misunderstood or malformed fetish.


The question would be why it is persisting. Maybe they have a partner with whom their kink is the partner's fetish. Or it's just a matter of it's always available so they engage in it a lot over their lifetime. As best I understand it, the difference is whether or not there is a need to have it as part of their sex life, as opposed to the frequency of engaging in it. One might not have a need, but if the availability is there....


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

As the resident, weirdo religious nut I actually think kinks, addictions, and fetishes come from an evil place.... philosophically speaking you don’t see people getting addicted to healthy things. I’ve never heard of someone having a fetish of say “taking his kids to play at the park”. He might enjoy it but won’t be sitting around thinking about endlessly, obsessing over it, etc. All addiction, kink, and fetish seems to have a dark, unhealthy, or sinister side. I think these things probably develop by watching too much porn... almost like evil gets invited in and then won’t leave. I think this must be how sane men get turned into monsters... feeding an evil impulse until they are eventually controlled by it. Sorry if I’m a big downer! I do think it normal for men to love a woman’s body- especially from the back!

On a personal note- I used to give my wife a lot of loving but strong spanks when I’d walk by but quit when I learned how irritating it is. My hyperactive five year old son started surprise spanking me (hard) and I HATED it.. lesson learned.

A little buttock squeeze and kiss on the back of my wife’s neck is my go to show of affection as I hurry by nowadays.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


I spank my wife because she wants me to. It makes her feel good so long as I am not acting like I'm actually mad... 

Anyone who has engaged in this activity knows what I am talking about. 

She likes it, I like seeing her happy, and it really is as simple as that.


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

CatholicDad said:


> As the resident, weirdo religious nut I actually think kinks, addictions, and fetishes come from an evil place.... philosophically speaking you don’t see people getting addicted to healthy things. I’ve never heard of someone having a fetish of say “taking his kids to play at the park”. He might enjoy it but won’t be sitting around thinking about endlessly, obsessing over it, etc. All addiction, kink, and fetish seems to have a dark, unhealthy, or sinister side. I think these things probably develop by watching too much porn... almost like evil gets invited in and then won’t leave. I think this must be how sane men get turned into monsters... feeding an evil impulse until they are eventually controlled by it. Sorry if I’m a big downer! I do think it normal for men to love a woman’s body- especially from the back!
> 
> On a personal note- I used to give my wife a lot of loving but strong spanks when I’d walk by but quit when I learned how irritating it is. My hyperactive five year old son started surprise spanking me (hard) and I HATED it.. lesson learned.
> 
> A little buttock squeeze and kiss on the back of my wife’s neck is my go to show of affection as I hurry by nowadays.


If you want to see what real evil is, switch on the news sometime


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

CatholicDad said:


> As the resident, weirdo religious nut I actually think kinks, addictions, and fetishes come from an evil place.... philosophically speaking you don’t see people getting addicted to healthy things. I’ve never heard of someone having a fetish of say “taking his kids to play at the park”. He might enjoy it but won’t be sitting around thinking about endlessly, obsessing over it, etc. All addiction, kink, and fetish seems to have a dark, unhealthy, or sinister side. I think these things probably develop by watching too much porn... almost like evil gets invited in and then won’t leave. I think this must be how sane men get turned into monsters... feeding an evil impulse until they are eventually controlled by it. Sorry if I’m a big downer! I do think it normal for men to love a woman’s body- especially from the back!


To counterpoint, first, yes there are a lot of addictions to "healthy" things. I quote that, because that would be a label of a subjective nature. But there is a thing known as addictive personality. Some people have gotten addicted to exercising, thrill activities (roller coasters, base jumping, etc.), computers, internet, and so much more, including simply plain vanilla sex. As far as kinks and fetishes go, while indeed there are those who get addicted to various one, the vast majority are not in a position of addiction, even when it is a fetish. Remember a fetish is something for a fulfilling sexual experience, not something that causes stresses and anxieties if not done. Those fall under paraphilias. If it can't think for itself, then it cannot be good or evil. Those come from the ability to make decisions. A hammer is neither good nor evil, but can be used for both. This holds true of all non-thinking thing and activities.


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> To counterpoint, first, yes there are a lot of addictions to "healthy" things. I quote that, because that would be a label of a subjective nature. But there is a thing known as addictive personality. Some people have gotten addicted to exercising, thrill activities (roller coasters, base jumping, etc.), computers, internet, and so much more, including simply plain vanilla sex. As far as kinks and fetishes go, while indeed there are those who get addicted to various one, the vast majority are not in a position of addiction, even when it is a fetish. Remember a fetish is something for a fulfilling sexual experience, not something that causes stresses and anxieties if not done. Those fall under paraphilias. If it can't think for itself, then it cannot be good or evil. Those come from the ability to make decisions. A hammer is neither good nor evil, but can be used for both. This holds true of all non-thinking thing and activities.


I've never had an addiction to healthy things and have witnessed how addictions to alcohol, drugs, or even porn has wrecked lives. I'm a lifelong fitness minded person but have never felt addicted to weightlifting, running, or basketball... pretty much am dragging myself to the gym with an end goal in mind (even when it is a strong habit). The closest thing I have to addiction is perhaps wanting to make love to my wife.... I still think this is a bit of an evil tendency (even though marital relations are healthy and normal) because in some ways it competes with true intimacy and affection for her... I'm often so focused on sex that simply enjoying her company is diminished. These addictive tendencies seems to come from an evil place and tend to distort something beautiful and good. People will convince themselves that an addiction is under control or good... there is always a lie like this at the heart of it that almost reminds me of demonic possession. If people don't believe in evil they won't follow my thinking here. In some ways you have to experience evil first hand and escape it- to know that it exists in the world.

Sorry to threadjack- I'll jump back out now.


----------



## Electric Prune (Aug 11, 2020)

As'laDain said:


> I spank my wife because she wants me to. It makes her feel good so long as I am not acting like I'm actually mad...
> 
> Anyone who has engaged in this activity knows what I am talking about.
> 
> She likes it, I like seeing her happy, and it really is as simple as that.





CatholicDad said:


> I've never had an addiction to healthy things and have witnessed how addictions to alcohol, drugs, or even porn has wrecked lives. I'm a lifelong fitness minded person but have never felt addicted to weightlifting, running, or basketball... pretty much am dragging myself to the gym with an end goal in mind (even when it is a strong habit). The closest thing I have to addiction is perhaps wanting to make love to my wife.... I still think this is a bit of an evil tendency (even though marital relations are healthy and normal) because in some ways it competes with true intimacy and affection for her... I'm often so focused on sex that simply enjoying her company is diminished. These addictive tendencies seems to come from an evil place and tend to distort something beautiful and good. People will convince themselves that an addiction is under control or good... there is always a lie like this at the heart of it that almost reminds me of demonic possession. If people don't believe in evil they won't follow my thinking here. In some ways you have to experience evil first hand and escape it- to know that it exists in the world.
> 
> Sorry to threadjack- I'll jump back out now.


I think you need to go easy on yourself. You sound like a decent guy. You feel ‘addicted’ to sex with your chosen partner because we are evolutionarily programmed as such. We would quickly die out as a species were this not the case! There’s no evil or possession involved or any other such hocus-pocus.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

CatholicDad said:


> I've never had an addiction to healthy things and have witnessed how addictions to alcohol, drugs, or even porn has wrecked lives. I'm a lifelong fitness minded person but have never felt addicted to weightlifting, running, or basketball... pretty much am dragging myself to the gym with an end goal in mind (even when it is a strong habit). The closest thing I have to addiction is perhaps wanting to make love to my wife.... I still think this is a bit of an evil tendency (even though marital relations are healthy and normal) because in some ways it competes with true intimacy and affection for her... I'm often so focused on sex that simply enjoying her company is diminished. These addictive tendencies seems to come from an evil place and tend to distort something beautiful and good. People will convince themselves that an addiction is under control or good... there is always a lie like this at the heart of it that almost reminds me of demonic possession. If people don't believe in evil they won't follow my thinking here. In some ways you have to experience evil first hand and escape it- to know that it exists in the world.
> 
> Sorry to threadjack- I'll jump back out now.


I don't think it's a threadjack. This is rather important to the idea of what kinks, fetishes and addictions are, and their place in our lives.

drugs and alcohol are chemical addictions. Porn and paraphilias would fall under behavioral addictions. Other behavioral addictions can include collecting (Hoarding), internet, exercise, eating, shopping, and much more. I found this which helps explain behavioral addictions better.



https://sobernation.com/22-different-types-of-addictions/ said:


> To break it down in the simplest terms possible, addiction centers on the behaviors of those who are affected by this disease. While the degrees of separation that exist between addiction and dependence can be can vague, those who display true addictive behaviors focus their energies on obtaining the substance or performing an activity to such an absolute degree they fail to meet their personal, social, familial, educational and professional responsibilities. Additionally, those who are in the grips of addiction act impulsively and even recklessly and will continue to engage in this pattern of behavior despite the consequences of their actions.
> 
> Those actions–whether negative (such as substance abuse) or positive (such as exercise)–release powerful chemicals called _endorphins_ in the brain which allows people to feel pleasure. The release of these chemicals reinforces the behavior and the addict will constantly engage in those behaviors that will help them feel good and becomes reinforced by repeating those actions; however, the real source of their stress and anxiety is not being addressed. People will continue to engage in those behaviors that are pleasing while the real source of their problems will continue to grow worse over time. As a result, those who are addicted are not aware of the damage their behavior is creating in their environment.
> 
> ...


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> Wife likes it and has asked for it a few times over the years. Not my thing, but I'll slap her on the ass (sometimes) as I feel her building to an orgasm in doggy or cowgirl position. And she loves it. But I don't like the thought of hurting her and find it, jarring.
> 
> Wife is a strong business woman, and her favorite coffee mug says "I'm not bossy. I'm the BOSS". Ive always heard power bosses like to be dominated in their personal relations, since they must wear the strong face all day in their career.


I have what is called a spanking fetish. I tried to interest my wife into being spanked but worked out that it didn't do a thing for her, so we got into spanking me which she was very comfortable with. It's not domination or punishment as I am kind of asking for it and leading it really. I do all the other things that she likes but she is not comfortable at all with oral sex either way. I am glad it is that way around and not the other way.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


Not necessarily. It is not pain to the receiver but the giver must ask is this too soft or too hard? Nobody likes pain. This is just sexually stimulating for some. I wouldn't cultivate it for the sake of it. Those who like it have known it deep down for years, sometimes all their lives. It is such a blessing when you marry someone who understands it. For me it is not about domination or punishment which you read about. I wouldn't touch that area.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

yes it is a big thing. either on the bare ass, or with breast abuse spanking.
can extend into various forms of bondage, and hitting with implements, like paddles, riding crops, etc. 

it is one of the sexual kinks that you can pursue fully clothed too. not sure if that factors in on the cheating scale or not. it seems less intimidating to spank someone who is fully clothed.

Also seems to be a fairly safe way to experiment with lesbian sex. Two women spanking each other, but going no further....

hey, if it gets you off, by all means pursue it!
seems to be relatively harmless fun, so long as you do not get bruises that last for weeks, or draw blood.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> seems to be relatively harmless fun, so long as you do not get bruises that last for weeks, or draw blood.


Some people actually want that, and will proudly show off their bruises to those who are in the know.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> Some people actually want that, and will proudly show off their bruises to those who are in the know.


that is true. i have seen plenty of women showing them off in pictures online, especially for breast bondage.

i was more saying to someone just getting started, to go easy and NOT cause long lasting bruises...for medical reasons until they know what they are doing.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish. I just met a man who has a spanking fetish, he likes to do the spanking.


This is driven by the W. Now and then she says, what are you going to spank me if I do?

Inevitably I comply. She's hot when shes wriggling and sticking her rear out for more.

I'm here to serve, after all.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My ex hb was into this. I didn't mind it at first but as his ED progressed it became the only way he could get it up at all, so I started to hate it.

Mt bf never asks for this. Sometimes he swats he on the butt side I so the same to him but it's playful. Suits me just fine.


----------



## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

My ex sometimes complained that I didn't smack hard enough during doggy style.

At one point she asked if I could "smack me down the middle" when I knew she was about to have an orgasm from oral sex. I had to get confirmation more than once before trying and didn't do more than tap, really.

I asked my new GF about it and she said that she just assumed the spanking was for the guy. _shrug_


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yum! Good stuff!👍


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish.


I agree. Question is, where is the line? I guess it depends how you define it, but I find most hard-core or obsessive “fetishes” a bit creepy. 
Per the example, a little spanking is fun. Serious spanking fetish, kind of creepy.


----------



## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yes, I'm clueless. Can you help me understand what the differnce between hit and spanked is?


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You know you liked it 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

So for all those that don’t comprehend the little bit of pain thing here is another way to look at it:

Don’t you love the feeling of your lover clawing up your back a little right when they are getting to the edge ? Of course you do ... it’s awesome. In the spanking case it’s just a modification there of.


----------



## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> So for all those that don’t comprehend the little bit of pain thing here is another way to look at it:
> 
> Don’t you love the feeling of your lover clawing up your back a little right when they are getting to the edge ? Of course you do ... it’s awesome. In the spanking case it’s just a modification there of.


Thanks. I think this helps me understand a little bit. Now if I could find a partner who clawed at my back a little, I could better understand your analogy.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I think I would like it. I like when my wife digs her nails into my back. I like when she grabs my ass while I’m at it but she hasn’t felt the need to spank. 🤔


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

And just think, spanking is on the tame end of the fetush spectrum


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was.


And that is exactly why I encourage taking classes for such plays.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

DudeInProgress said:


> I agree. Question is, where is the line?* I guess it depends how you define it,* but I find most hard-core or obsessive “fetishes” a bit creepy.
> Per the example, a little spanking is fun. Serious spanking fetish, kind of creepy.


Rule #2 of BDSM: With the exception of Rule #1, there is no one true way.

When it comes to where lines between this and that occur, there is not and never has been a consensus. What is extreme for one can be mundane for another. It's all subjective to a point.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

leftfield said:


> Yes, I'm clueless. Can you help me understand what the differnce between hit and spanked is?


There is no objective difference. Basically it changes when it crosses your personal limit. That change might come in the form of the strength of the impact, or the method used, or the specific area struck, or something else. It will vary with each person. When learning what a person wants, one may have to experiment and get feedback before it can be done enjoyably.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

leftfield said:


> Thanks. I think this helps me understand a little bit. Now if I could find a partner who clawed at my back a little, I could better understand your analogy.


Have you ever picked at a scab and it hurt but also felt kind of good? or scratched an itch such that it hurt, but it still felt so good? Think of it that way. And to run with the example, I once was doing such scratching on the sole of my foot, and then a piece of fingernail I hadn't realized was sharp actually cut me. It went from that good pain to bad pain.


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

leftfield said:


> Yes, I'm clueless. Can you help me understand what the differnce between hit and spanked is?


For me, it is the difference between a topical sting (slap) verses a “hit” that hurts below the skin. Hope that makes sense. 

ETA: One leaves the skin red…the other leaves a bruise.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Yum! Good stuff!


I missed you!  


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I like it…lots. For me, it’s all about the sting…same with nipples. When XH didn’t know what he was doing and “hit” rather than “spanked” my behind, quite the opposite. He never took the time to understand what it was.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


the proper type of nipple abuse can be exquisite indeed!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Elizabeth001 said:


> For me, it is the difference between a topical sting (slap) verses a “hit” that hurts below the skin. Hope that makes sense.
> 
> ETA: One leaves the skin red…the other leaves a bruise.
> 
> ...


I have to stop reading this thread!!!!!!!😋


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Elizabeth001 said:


> For me, it is the difference between a topical sting (slap) verses a “hit” that hurts below the skin. Hope that makes sense.
> 
> ETA: One leaves the skin red…the other leaves a bruise.
> 
> ...


Pictures would a better reference for academic purposes only 😛


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
Show Content











Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> Pictures would a better reference for academic purposes only 😛


FetLife has all the reference pics you will ever need.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

maquiscat said:


> FetLife has all the reference pics you will ever need.


Thanks maquiscat I do appreciate it but I’d probably be better off not checking that place out. I’d get too many ideas that would make my wife really nervous 😬


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> FetLife has all the reference pics you will ever need.


Or my photo gallery 🤔


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> Or my photo gallery 🤔


Well thanks Numb26 but I’ll pass on gazing upon your beaten butt cheeks .... no offense 🍑


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> Well thanks Numb26 but I’ll pass on gazing upon your beaten butt cheeks .... no offense 🍑


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Done properly, not painful at all. 😁


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Elizabeth001 said:


> __
> Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
> Show Content
> 
> ...


Ah, that was back when they made REALLY GOOD cartoons.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> Thanks maquiscat I do appreciate it but I’d probably be better off not checking that place out. I’d get too many ideas that would make my wife really nervous 😬


the key is to have her get her own account first there, and hopefully she will say "Honey, look at what i just found....do you think we could try this tonight...."


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> the key is to have her get her own account first there, and hopefully she will say "Honey, look at what i just found....do you think we could try this tonight...."


My wife is a second grade teacher. She is more interested in how a child learns than how to make a grown man’s ass bleed 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> My wife is a second grade teacher. She is more interested in how a child learns than how to make a grown man’s ass bleed 🤣🤣🤣


The best thing about teachers? If you mess up they make you do it again! 👍


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> My wife is a second grade teacher. She is more interested in how a child learns than how to make a grown man’s ass bleed 🤣🤣🤣


teachers should NOT be on fet life. too easy to lose their jobs. period.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Is it me or has there been a lot of threads on spanking lately? I never realized so many people were into that


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Mr.Married said:


> My wife is a second grade teacher. She is more interested in how a child learns than how to make a grown man’s ass bleed 🤣🤣🤣


How is she at spanking second graders?


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> Is it me or has there been a lot of threads on spanking lately? I never realized so many people were into that


It's you. There has been a couple, but not a lot. Maybe a lot of brief mentions in other threads. I could be missing those.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> It's you. There has been a couple, but not a lot. Maybe a lot of brief mentions in other threads. I could be missing those.


Maybe I am just remembering brief mentions but I know there are 2 current threads about it. Don't get me wrong I have no issue with spanking (I have my own kinks) but it just seemed really popular all of a sudden.


----------



## mrcool46 (Sep 22, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> What’s up with this spanking fetish? I didn’t realize it’s one Of the more popular fetishes out there.


I have always been into getting spanked during a scene. I am perfectly straight but my brain has 2 sexual areas.
One is straight sex with variety. The other is being dominated and humiliated by my wife. This includes many acts , but hard spanking is one of them. Many couples do this and it adds fun to their relationship. It takes time to develop this. Many powerful men are into this


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Numb26 said:


> Maybe I am just remembering brief mentions but I know there are 2 current threads about it. Don't get me wrong I have no issue with spanking (I have my own kinks) but it just seemed really popular all of a sudden.


Sometimes the sun shines 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)




----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

A _little _off-topic, but since we're going with cat memes...


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Damn, I need to check in more often, missing such fun
Spanking can be very erotic and stimulating. Not mentioning sometimes it feels like a massage of your ass, free of charge


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Girl_power said:


> What’s up with this spanking fetish? I didn’t realize it’s one Of the more popular fetishes out there.


It all depends. Have you ever had a really great deep tissue massage? The kind that pushed deep into knotted up major muscles and kind of hurts a little until the muscles surrender and go soft? That can feel really good. In fact have you ever had a Swedish massage where they end it with little "karate-like chops" on you butt and hamstring muscles? I think that too many people think of erotic spanking as inflicting pain. It should be about deep tissue massage and releasing endorphins.

Such deep tissue massages can release lots of feel-good-endorphins. 

In consensual impact play, for some, there is a high ratio of "sting" to "thud" at the beginning to get the blood flowing on the surface of the skin. Later the ratio shifts to more "thud." Thud is pushing deep into tissue like a deep tissue massage.

Now imagine for a moment a gentle cupped hand lightly slapping your butt (sting) to get the blood in your pelvic floor area flowing. Then imagine it shifting to after each slap a very firm gripping and squeezing (thud) of the butt muscles so they are massaged deeply to the point that they start releasing endorphins? At first the muscle squeezing might hurt a little, but in a good way.

A "good" erotic spanking can be similar to a great erotic massage. Of course you both need to really trust each other and know what your limits are.

An erotic spanking can also be an interesting way to kick up some forms of role playing to a much more intense level. You can include all kinds of language and mental imagery in the role playing to really get the head games going. 

You mileage may vary. It could be worth a try.

Good luck


----------



## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

My current BF likes to spank me now and then during sex. One time I did it back to him, just to see how he'd react, and it turns out that spanking me had been his unspoken request to be spanked.... 🤔


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Young at Heart said:


> It all depends. Have you ever had a really great deep tissue massage? The kind that pushed deep into knotted up major muscles and kind of hurts a little until the muscles surrender and go soft? That can feel really good. In fact have you ever had a Swedish massage where they end it with little "karate-like chops" on you butt and hamstring muscles? I think that too many people think of erotic spanking as inflicting pain. It should be about deep tissue massage and releasing endorphins.
> 
> Such deep tissue massages can release lots of feel-good-endorphins.
> 
> ...


@Young at Heart , that’s what I’ve been saying! It is really form of a massage, and can make your body feel better afterwards.


----------



## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Chaotic said:


> My current BF likes to spank me now and then during sex. One time I did it back to him, just to see how he'd react, and it turns out that spanking me had been his unspoken request to be spanked.... 🤔


Stick something in his butt. I bet that’s his other unspoken request.


----------



## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> Stick something in his butt. I bet that’s his other unspoken request.


Now that's the sort of solid and practical advice I come to this site for. 😁


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Butts drive me nuts!

I have to stop reading this thread!!!!!🤠


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

C.C. says ... said:


> Stick something in his butt. I bet that’s his other unspoken request.


Grab a carrot out of the fridge!


----------



## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

Noman said:


> Grab a carrot out of the fridge!


I used to know a woman who referred to really large carrots as "homewreckers"


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Noman said:


> Grab a carrot out of the fridge!


Just remember, anything can be used as a toy if you are brave enough!


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Chaotic said:


> I used to know a woman who referred to really large carrots as "homewreckers"


Ha ha, because they were so much fun?


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Noman said:


> Ha ha, because they were so much fun?


For the woman who wants realism...


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

_Anything's a dildo..._


----------



## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> For the woman who wants realism...
> 
> View attachment 79016


That's a bit stubby, but at least the testicles keep it from getting sucked in.

I used to work at a hospital (Nurses FTW!) & my best friend was an X-Ray tech.

He had a library of interesting X-Rays & he showed me one of a man with a large vibrator that got sucked (or pushed) ALLLL the way in. I was told that when the man leaned against the counter you could hear a buzzing sound.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Butts drive me nuts!
> 
> I have to stop reading this thread!!!!!🤠


The first thing that came to my mind on reading this post was "I like big butts and I cannot lie."


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Chaotic said:


> I used to know a woman who referred to really large carrots as "homewreckers"


Nah. That's the cucumbers.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


Considering it's about spanking, to me it kind of reeks of mommy daddy issues. Of course not everyone has been spanked as a child but there was a time when nearly everyone had. So I would think for those people at least there's an element of flipping off your parents by enjoying something they hated when their parents did it. 

But aside from that, it's just enjoying a certain amount of pain or inflicting it, which of course has all kinds of psychological reasons behind it. As long as both people are willing it seems like a pretty harmless thing.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

spanking is a relatively mild form of kink.
for one thing you can spank someone that is fully clothed.

but it can be a gateway into more intense kinks. add a riding crop, blindfold, some velcro handcuffs and now we're talking!


----------



## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

I'm a big proponent of participating in my husband's fetish and satisfying him. They can be very hard to understand/ explain/ rationalize but that's not the important thing. Setting limits is very important in any activity, especially kink. giving up some control if you trust them to respect those limits can be sensual. Pleasing my husband brings me pleasure too


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Donna123 said:


> I'm a big proponent of participating in my husband's fetish and satisfying him. They can be very hard to understand/ explain/ rationalize but that's not the important thing. Setting limits is very important in any activity, especially kink. giving up some control if you trust them to respect those limits can be sensual. Pleasing my husband brings me pleasure too


Sometimes their pleasure is the best aphrodisiac.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Noman said:


> _Anything's a dildo..._


Yuk.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> I'm a big proponent of participating in my husband's fetish and satisfying him. They can be very hard to understand/ explain/ rationalize but that's not the important thing. Setting limits is very important in any activity, especially kink. giving up some control if you trust them to respect those limits can be sensual. Pleasing my husband brings me pleasure too


i think there should be a definite quid pro quo in such matters. If one partner likes to spank the other, there should also be allowance for whatever kinks the person getting spanked also wants to try out! Just about anything you ask of him, he should be eager to provide for you at this point!


----------



## mrcool46 (Sep 22, 2021)

Girl_power said:


> What’s up with this spanking fetish? I didn’t realize it’s one Of the more popular fetishes out there.


My wife has been spanking me for years. We have great scenes. They're fantastic. If your a guy let down your quard and let queen take over. You'll love it. Best sex ever


----------



## mrcool46 (Sep 22, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> i think there should be a definite quid pro quo in such matters. If one partner likes to spank the other, there should also be allowance for whatever kinks the person getting spanked also wants to try out! Just about anything you ask of him, he should be eager to provide for you at this point!


Getting into a scene is is difficult. I am perfectly straight and love straight sex, but the other half of my brain likes female domination. I really can't explain how happens. I get into it but it's kind of like hypnosis. We start drinking. Watch a little porn. put on a little music and bam a switch in my brain turns on and I'm totally into it. My wife wasn't sure it was real in the beginning, but when she started doing it she really got into it. Unlike straight sex scenes can on for 2 hrs or more.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

mrcool46 said:


> Getting into a scene is is difficult. *I am perfectly straight* and love straight sex, but the other half of my brain likes female domination. I really can't explain how happens. I get into it but it's kind of like hypnosis. We start drinking. Watch a little porn. put on a little music and bam a switch in my brain turns on and I'm totally into it. My wife wasn't sure it was real in the beginning, but when she started doing it she really got into it. Unlike straight sex scenes can on for 2 hrs or more.


i do not see any connection between you liking a femdom relationship and being gay. 
you obviously still enjoy this relationship with a woman, so totally heterosexual.

"getting into the scene is difficult" -- have you tried adding bondage to the spanking?
Having her tie you up, say standing up, it would be easy for her to do various types of impact play, and you would pretty quickly be "getting into it"! Did you buy her any interesting toys for Christmas, to help her in your pursuits????


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


Not in my book. It's not about pain, domination or power. It's just a lovely feeling for some reason. Rather erotic for some reason. My wife does it for me but I have decided it doesn't have that effect on her.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> Simply not true. But that comes from individual perceptions. I am telling you from personal experience, that such things can produce pleasure as well as pain. Mindset has a lot to do with it. But a good parallel, is like when you end up scratching an itch so much that it, as they say, hurts so good. Or that pleasure one can get from scratching at a scab. It hurts, but it also feels good.
> 
> This is where subjective experience comes in. For us that do this, it's not violence, not in the way your post seems to imply. While there are those who do indeed develop sadism or masochism from abuse, sexual or otherwise, the vast majority do not. It's simply a natural part of us. Think about this. Why do people need to invoke fear in themselves to have fun? What is the point of roller coasters and haunted houses? I don't get why any fear would be part of having fun unless those partaking of it were damaged as a child in some way.


I agree. Any punishment thing is a perversion but spanking because one likes it is something else. I love it personally but it has taken a few years for it to come totally out. My wife is comfortable with it. I don't love pain and am not a masochist but the pleasure I get from it is something else. It's all part of the sex.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Electric Prune said:


> I think you need to go easy on yourself. You sound like a decent guy. You feel ‘addicted’ to sex with your chosen partner because we are evolutionarily programmed as such. We would quickly die out as a species were this not the case! There’s no evil or possession involved or any other such hocus-pocus.


Yeah. The marriage bed is undefiled. Both should be satisied. If I am hot I make sure she is satisfied as well if I can although she doesn't mind servicing me if she is really tired.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> And that is exactly why I encourage taking classes for such plays.


My wife asks me if I need it harder of softer. Nothing to do with domination or perverted punishment.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Is it me or has there been a lot of threads on spanking lately? I never realized so many people were into that


It is a big subject. Unfortunately it is abused by a lot of people outside of marriage which gives the wrong picture. If a spouse likes it and the other is willing to do it where is the problem? It is still a part of our marriage after 30 years and no it doesn't lead to perversions etc. even though it has become much better understood between us.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Considering it's about spanking, to me it kind of reeks of mommy daddy issues. Of course not everyone has been spanked as a child but there was a time when nearly everyone had. So I would think for those people at least there's an element of flipping off your parents by enjoying something they hated when their parents did it.
> 
> But aside from that, it's just enjoying a certain amount of pain or inflicting it, which of course has all kinds of psychological reasons behind it. As long as both people are willing it seems like a pretty harmless thing.


I was never spanked but love it in marriage as an adult. Where did that come from? If you are both agreed there is no problem.


----------



## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

What's more interested is the massive amount of women who like being choked during sex.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

thunderchad said:


> What's more interested is the massive amount of women who like being choked during sex.


it's not just women


----------



## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Most everyone has a fetish of some kind. A lot of people are scared to say what it is or they are embarrassed. 

My lady doesn't care for spanking. But loves the blindfold and ice on the nipples. She also likes candle wax drips here and there all while blasting Buckcherry Crazy Biotch or some heavy stuff on the sound system.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> She also likes candle wax drips here and there all while blasting Buckcherry Crazy Biotch or some heavy stuff on the sound system.


Try using paraffin wax with those spas from dept stores, where you can put your hand or foot in. Use a plastic ladle to spoon the liquid over the body, and let the little rivulets run down the sides. Pulling them off once cooled is a great sensation. Bonus: Using this method to pour melted wax over tight muscles in the back or other places makes for a great heat relaxing. Just leave it on until you no longer feel the heat. It'll take several layers, to hold the heat of the lower layers in but it's worth it. I have it done for my shoulder muscles.


----------



## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

maquiscat said:


> Try using paraffin wax with those spas from dept stores, where you can put your hand or foot in. Use a plastic ladle to spoon the liquid over the body, and let the little rivulets run down the sides. Pulling them off once cooled is a great sensation. Bonus: Using this method to pour melted wax over tight muscles in the back or other places makes for a great heat relaxing. Just leave it on until you no longer feel the heat. It'll take several layers, to hold the heat of the lower layers in but it's worth it. I have it done for my shoulder muscles.


That is a solid idea. I am trying that today. I just wrote it on a list things to get


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Too bad. I sure do!!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


It doesn't do anything for my wife but it does for me.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> People with this fetish... is it about domination? Inflicting pain? Power?


I don't think so. Not with me anyway. It is kind of pleasurable in a strange way. I don't know why but it is.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> I think there’s a big difference between liking to be spanked, and actually having a spanking fetish. I just met a man who has a spanking fetish, he likes to do the spanking.


I don't know what the difference is personally. If you like it people would say you had a spanking fetish. I am learning that it is a very private thing between a husband and his wife. Talking with others is about 85% unhelpful. In marriage you know intimately everything about your spouse and this is one of the things that might come up.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> It's less about frequency and more about needs. Lifestyle is a broad term that encompasses both kinks and fetishes. You can engage in a kink on a frequent basis, and never really "need" it, while you might need a certain fetish but not engage in it on a frequent basis. Keep in mind a couple of things. First, colloquially people tend to use kink and fetish as synonyms, and for casual conversation that is fine. Also, having a fetish doesn't mean that you can't get satisfaction from regular sex.
> 
> To make a parallel, think about the difference between chopped steak and prime rib. You enjoy chopped steak, but get more taste satisfaction from the prime rib. That would be equivalent to having a fetish. You want that prime rib whenever you can get it, because it provides more satisfaction. For a kink, you enjoy both, and the prime rib makes a nice change of pace, but if you don't get it, you don't get it, no biggie.


Sounds like splitting hairs to me whatever you call it.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Zombie thread


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

CatholicDad said:


> I've never had an addiction to healthy things and have witnessed how addictions to alcohol, drugs, or even porn has wrecked lives. I'm a lifelong fitness minded person but have never felt addicted to weightlifting, running, or basketball... pretty much am dragging myself to the gym with an end goal in mind (even when it is a strong habit). The closest thing I have to addiction is perhaps wanting to make love to my wife.... I still think this is a bit of an evil tendency (even though marital relations are healthy and normal) because in some ways it competes with true intimacy and affection for her... I'm often so focused on sex that simply enjoying her company is diminished. These addictive tendencies seems to come from an evil place and tend to distort something beautiful and good. People will convince themselves that an addiction is under control or good... there is always a lie like this at the heart of it that almost reminds me of demonic possession. If people don't believe in evil they won't follow my thinking here. In some ways you have to experience evil first hand and escape it- to know that it exists in the world.
> 
> Sorry to threadjack- I'll jump back out now.


Sounds like you think sex is evil. It is not. It is God's gift to a marriage. Sex isn't love but it can be used in love. Nevertheless because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her and likewise also the wife to the husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not defraud one another. 1 Cor 7:2/5


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> And that is exactly why I encourage taking classes for such plays.


I have never heard of classes except from some online dom/prostitute or something. Never about a proper marriage just about partners all over the place.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> And just think, spanking is on the tame end of the fetush spectrum





Numb26 said:


> And just think, spanking is on the tame end of the fetush spectrum


It is about what fits in with the marriage. One cannot go beyond what is okay for the spouse.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Mr.Married said:


> Thanks maquiscat I do appreciate it but I’d probably be better off not checking that place out. I’d get too many ideas that would make my wife really nervous 😬


Good for you. Keep it in your marriage and not from an anything goes immoral site.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Talker67 said:


> teachers should NOT be on fet life. too easy to lose their jobs. period.


And rightly so.


----------



## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Considering it's about spanking, to me it kind of reeks of mommy daddy issues. Of course not everyone has been spanked as a child but there was a time when nearly everyone had. So I would think for those people at least there's an element of flipping off your parents by enjoying something they hated when their parents did it.
> 
> But aside from that, it's just enjoying a certain amount of pain or inflicting it, which of course has all kinds of psychological reasons behind it. As long as both people are willing it seems like a pretty harmless thing.


It feels like a very clean thing. No juices and no penetrating, not that there is anything wrong in those.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie Cat says: "This thread is dead. Let's put it to bed."


----------

