# Contacting the OM



## lostbutsearching (Dec 28, 2013)

Has anyone here directly contacted the POSOM or POSOW after their SO had a PA, EA, ONS etc.? I'd like to hear some of your experiences and thoughts.

I came across the OM last week and froze up. He did not see me, but I triggered hard and was not sure how to react.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

I had run across three of them.

First time I was at a son's game. It was still fresh. I had let go of a lot of my anger but when I saw him, I was angry for the rest of the night.

Second time, different guy, neighbor brother. I had been working out at the gym for a while. He saw me, turned around and went in.

Third time, was with wife's new bf, my old next door neighbor. He put his hands on my kids. He came out to my Jeep angry at me because I told her if he puts his hands on my kids again I will call the police. After an exchange, he went back into her house shaking. I was at a point where I would have defended myself most vigorously and he knew it would not go well for him.

If you want a reckoning then you have to wait. They will get theirs in the end. No good can come of confronting the OM. You can get yourself in a load of trouble.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*It's just not macho, at least in my opinion, to want to stoop down to the POSOM and the cheating skank's crappy level! Just saying!*


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *It's just not macho, at least in my opinion, to want to stoop down to the POSOM and the cheating skank's crappy level! Just saying!*


I guess its human nature to want to hurt the person that was complicit in taking something away for you but I cannot view the OM as similar to a drunk driver that hit your wife's car while on her way to Sunday school.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> I guess its human nature to want to hurt the person that was complicit in taking something away for you but I cannot view the OM as similar to a drunk driver that hit your wife's car while on her way to Sunday school.


*I know that I can't really blame my skanky XW's OMen since it was she who led both of them on into out-of-town cheating relationships with her, all while still living as my wife and bedding down with me while she was still at home.

And I'm not really defending them in any way, but it seems that they were only obliging their natural male hormones as well as their hardened appendages, that they had absolutely no physical or moral control over!*


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

It shocks me on how many guys are willing the simply let the old lady off the hook and go after the guy. It doesn't make a lot of sense to be fretting over a guy who took your old lady up on her offer. As for me, I put responsibility on her to turn their offers down rather than on the guys to turn her offer down. You're setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect other guys to keep your wife on the straight and narrow.


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

lostbutsearching said:


> Has anyone here directly contacted the POSOM or POSOW after their SO had a PA, EA, ONS etc.? I'd like to hear some of your experiences and thoughts.
> 
> I came across the OM last week and froze up. He did not see me, but I triggered hard and was not sure how to react.


I never have. I have thought about it and hope I do come accross him. I have several questions for him. If to not get the truth at least to make him feel uncomfortable.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lostbutsearching said:


> Has anyone here directly contacted the POSOM or POSOW after their SO had a PA, EA, ONS etc.? I'd like to hear some of your experiences and thoughts.
> 
> I came across the OM last week and froze up. He did not see me, but I triggered hard and was not sure how to react.


Yes and no. My wife introduced me to her OM. I held it together. Somehow.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Cloaked said:


> I never have. I have thought about it and hope I do come across him. I have several questions for him. If to not get the truth at least to make him feel uncomfortable.


You will never get the truth or if you did, you would never know for certain if it was the truth. Don't hold your breath.

Sometimes, I wish I were born in an earlier time where reckonings and duels were legal, but they are not so live your life a better man.

Let yourself be an example for those who follow.


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

MovingAhead said:


> You will never get the truth or if you did, you would never know for certain if it was the truth. Don't hold your breath.
> 
> Sometimes, I wish I were born in an earlier time where reckonings and duels were legal, but they are not so live your life a better man.
> 
> Let yourself be an example for those who follow.


I don't think I will ever get the truth. I want to just to see how "perfect" he actually is.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Cloaked said:


> I don't think I will ever get the truth. I want to just to see how "perfect" he actually is.


He'll be flawed and quite ordinary.


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

My wife's OM was my former best friend. He emailed me about three weeks after I found out with a half-hearted apology/excuse (he is an alcoholic apparently). He said he wanted to talk, that I deserved it. I told him we had nothing to talk about and our friendship was done. Basically took the high road. I sometimes wish I had talked to him to tell him off or that I would run into him around town. But, when I truly think about him I realize how messed up he really is... he spent years emailing/chatting with my wife trying to emotionally seduce her, was an absolutely ****ty friend (asked about my marriage, now I see he was looking for opportunities to "strike"), and then immediately starts AA to excuse all his actions or because he is a pathological liar. I know he is not happy in his marriage (he told me as much) and I feel like he can suffer through life as the sorry soul he has become.. without my life long friendship and without my wife. Maybe he will turn it all around, but there is nothing I can do that will change it. So, I don't care. I think I tend to agree that the WS should be the focus, even with POSOM serpents like this a-hole. Even my WW seemed to come out of the fog when she realized how slimy he is... but, I would also never be surprised if any WS went back into their fantasy. So, my focus is on what she's doing.


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## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> He'll be flawed and quite ordinary.


Most definitely.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

bartendersfriend said:


> My wife's OM was my former best friend.


I can understand your umbrage because your friend did you like that. But what about your wife. Is he, as your friend, more low down than your wife? Yet you kept her but jettisoned him.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

lostbutsearching said:


> Has anyone here directly contacted the POSOM or POSOW after their SO had a PA, EA, ONS etc.? I'd like to hear some of your experiences and thoughts.
> 
> I came across the OM last week and froze up. He did not see me, but I triggered hard and was not sure how to react.


I had already mailed my wife's "no contact" letter, addressed to other man, but sent via certified mail to his wife, with enough details that she would know what went on and I had already received confirmation that she had received it.

Other man had been unemployed for over a year. He had just finally gotten a job shortly before I found out about the affair. My wife threw him under the bus in order to save the marriage. I could see that some messages were sent from work. I called up and had a conversation with his boss. After other man was fired, I called him directly and told him he was lucky all he lost was his job, next time he would not get off so easy. I told him that as long as I never heard about him again, no one else would need to know.

I reconciled with my wife, but I would have done this anyway. He had no kids, but I would have done this anyway.

Any man wants to mess with a woman he knows is married, he has to expect that the married woman's husband might strike back in one way or another. 

He is accountable for his own actions. Whether I choose to forgive my wife and not him is MY choice to make. I have a 20-plus year history and kids with my wife, who apologized over and over and did everything I asked to make it up to me, to help me decide to forgive her. He had none of that going for him.

I was fortunate as to the situation and what I was able to do and how I was able to do it. It took very little time or effort on my part. It gave me a sense of closure and I feel it played a part in helping me to get over the affair more quickly.

What I did was not without risk, but it was a calculated risk based on my situation relative to other man's situation and fortunately it turned out that I calculated correctly.

Aside from the no contact letter, my wife didn't know what I was doing. As far as I know, she still doesn't know.


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## bartendersfriend (Oct 14, 2013)

ThePheonix said:


> I can understand your umbrage because your friend did you like that. But what about your wife. Is he, as your friend, more low down than your wife? Yet you kept her but jettisoned him.


I hear what you're saying. Right now, I am considering keeping her. In my case, I have email/chat logs dating back several years and have been able to piece together that he was the active pursuer. Like many other WS, she liked the attention. It would go too far and she would stop for a while, but then it would resume with some "friendly" emails. She definitely crossed the EA then PA lines. It is a struggle to try to forgive. We have kids, so I have to try.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

I went to his office and sit across from him and didn't say a word. I just stared until he blinked and got up and left. second time wan last week. he was at Walmart with his his wife and two older ladies. I quickly went to ladies section and grabbed some lingerie stuff and went and put the items in his shopping cart. I told his wife my wife liked certain colors for certain days. I feel so bad for the hurt in her eyes. I feel like crap. But i hope she takes it out on the sh*&t head. If she wont I will for sure. I just don't care anymore. I am dead inside.


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## Singledude21 (Feb 21, 2013)

I usually find its a waste of time to even waste your time, especially if you don't plan on R. Generally, although you might question ones integrity, unless married it is not their responsibility to say no if offered sex, your spouse should have never offered it or took the bait in the first place. Can't blame OM for your spouse lacking boundaries.

He might be a POS, but its not his responsibility to keep your wife out his pants, its hers. Though me personally, really surprised how often I get hit on by middle aged women, usually married. Usually make it clear I don't want any part of that though, cause when I do decide to settle down, don't want Karma to hit me in the ass.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

X-Betaman said:


> I quickly went to ladies section and grabbed some lingerie stuff and went and put the items in his shopping cart. I told his wife my wife liked certain colors for certain days. I feel so bad for the hurt in her eyes. I feel like crap.


It was a Little extreme because she is also a BS but I understand your anger , after all she is allowing his POS bahaviour by just ignoring his affairs in Exchange of the finanacial benefits he brings home, I honestly don't know what I would had done in your situation


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

The OM (of basically a weekend high-school reunion EA plus kissing) lived halfway across the US. Once the WW confessed, I called his house to confront him. He was not home. His wife answered, and after initial hesitation on my part (I wasn't initially going to involve her) I told her what had happened. When I called the OM later, he sounded like a whipped dog. I can only assume his wife ripped him a new orifice. 

Interestingly, the OMW called my wife to berate her later.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

I phonecalled 1st other man after found him on cell bill. Said they were just friends. I called wife, and she admitted to EA...I told her he said you were only friends. "What?!" Later he calls and says he will not call any more and in fact would let me know if she happened to try to contact him. He never called, but they resumed. (wife and I were separated at the time) So, I called him again...telling him to back off. Finally when wife was willing to end it...I wrote him an email...saying it was done For leverage, I said I wouldn't call his church or the school of ministry he was attending.

2nd OM...wife cried to me and said she didn't want to divorce me after all and spilled all the beans about her current EA...who really had his hooks in her...she was ready to divorce to fly off to him. They had an all-night session on the computer and then next day she was wracked with remorse...and this was days before our divorce finalization...so I did not give an F...I was DONE. But she cried, saying she has made a mistake. Man, I was so angry, but we called him together, she crying like a loon, and I had to say that she was ending it with him for good. He was so surprised by this...but I just made the boundaries very clear. Later he emailed her, which she gave over to me and I wrote him an email about the situation...and he had never contacted her since then. For leverage, I told him that I would act honorably concerning his masturbation videos.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Singledude21 said:


> Though me personally, really surprised how often I get hit on by middle aged women, usually married. Usually make it clear I don't want any part of that though, cause when I do decide to settle down, don't want Karma to hit me in the ass.


Its sad and an indication about how many middle aged married women are looking for affairs - and their husbands are busting their ass providing for the family and minding the kids.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

If I see him 
again I am going straight to jail. I have nothing to lose


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

X-Betaman said:


> If I see him
> again I am going straight to jail. I have nothing to lose


man weren't you going to fight to improve your health, remeber that your kids and the time you stay with them must be your priority


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I only contacted the OM once. I have known the clown for years and years and everyone in town knows his game yet he always manages to find a new “victim” for his fun. He was telling my friends all about his adventures with my stbx. He loves the confrontation, its part of his powertrip so I never gave him that satisfaction. 

When I found out he out looking for the replacement for my stbx since he had grown tired of her I sent him one text. A picture of all the junk that was boxed up ready to go into his house and out of mine and asked him what day he would like it dropped off since they were so happy together. Couple days later she was living in her car he had a new girl moving in and the junk is still sitting in my house boxed up. 

He never replied for some reason.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

X-Betaman said:


> If I see him
> again I am going straight to jail. I have nothing to lose


You have a lot to lose. You just don't realize it yet.

Reach out to Juicer. Send him a PM. He is the poster child for going too far.

I am sure he will be more than happy to chat with you and impart some wisdom from his past journey.

Read his threads.

Start here.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/private-members-section/71297-path-healing.html


And then see if you feel the same way.

HM


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Just out of curiosity, what would be your reaction if the other man's wife took the same position that you take against the other man. (beat downs, listing on cheaterville, public confrontations with you present, etc.)


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Just out of curiosity, what would be your reaction if the other man's wife took the same position that you take against the other man. (beat downs, listing on cheaterville, public confrontations with you present, etc.)


I can't say I would like it, but I couldn't fault her for it. Beat downs are unacceptable in any situation.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Not addressed to me but in my neck of the woods a "beatdown" is getting your azz whipped to a fare-the-well. "fare the well" means to the utmost perfection.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

I contacted my x's OM.

Up against his jaw...repeatedly...with my fist.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Will,
> 
> What do you mean by, "beat downs"?


What Phoenix said. I don't think I could say it better.

But when I said I find it "unacceptable," that probably was not the right word. It's not that I really find a beat down unacceptable, but the law does, and the consequences for the beater are pretty high, and it is only a very temporary satisfaction.

In the sense of how would I feel if other man's wife gave my wife a beat down, I wouldn't like it, but I would understand it, though other man's wife might wind up behind bars for it.

Like x-betaman is posting, if you are a man involved with a married woman, it has to enter your mind that her husband might decide to take it out on you, like bashful bull did, or some other legal way. Same for a woman involved with a married man.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

manticore said:


> It was a Little extreme because she is also a BS but I understand your anger , after all she is allowing his POS bahaviour by just ignoring his affairs in Exchange of the finanacial benefits he brings home, I honestly don't know what I would had done in your situation


I know If I would had time to think I would have not done that with her around. I felt like crap and could not sleep good. That was just a spur of the moment rage that was built up inside of me.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I've had a difficult time reconciling my hatred for the POSOM. Not only did he have a 2 year PA with my wife, but he didn't miss any opportunity to brag about his conquest and call me every name in the book in his messages to my wife. This included him saying to her that he couldn't wait to tell me that he was f**king her. 

Over two years later, I still think about him every day and what I'd like to do to him. Really, hatred is not a strong enough word.

I've never contacted him directly. But in the evidence letter I delivered to his wife, I devoted a paragraph just for him. It included an invitation for him to tell me to my face, what he wanted to tell me. I know he's read it, but he never accepted my invitation. I had to be careful not to specifically make threats, because he was a high ranking police official, now retired. He obviously has connections with law enforcement, including the FBI. Just from that paragraph I wrote for him, he's already e-mailed me a cease and desist message. But I refuse to get in a back and fourth with him or speak to him. 

He lives 5 miles from me and I saw him for the first time, two years after dday, at a store recently. I just stared at him. He looked like his head was on a swivel, trying to figure out if it was me, then he just walked away.

In regards to focusing on him instead of my WW, that didn't happen. I see my wife every day. Though I wish I had done some things differently with her in the beginning, I don't think anyone can say that's she's gotten off easy.

But for him, in the back of my mind, I still mull over what I can do to make his life miserable. And if I get another chance down the road, I'll take it.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I had enough lies from my wife. I was done with the M. Started the process for D. Then my wife came clean, repented and told me everything after years of cheating and lies. I contacted the XOM's wife. She wrote back to me and told me that it was not her husband, that they ended it in 2011 and she told me never to contact me again, that if my wife was fooling around on me it was not with her husband.

I was one pi*sed off dude. I contacted the XOM, his pastor and his employer and told them I would be hiring street people and will be holding anti-adultery protests at their church, business and the XOM's house and that I had permits to do so. I said it was cheap to hire these folks and that unless the XOM told his wife everything by 7 P.M. that day then they would see how serious I was. At this point I was not interested in working on my M, I just wanted the XOM's wife to know that her husband was lying.

As I was literally getting into my truck to head to the XOM's house, my cell phone rang and it was the XOM. We talked for days. He begged me to help him win his wife back. I got all the information I needed from him and this time his stories lined up with my wife's stories. There were things I asked him without my wife's knowledge that he told me. Most if not all I was able to verify. My wife knew and heard my initial conversation with the XOM. I guess if the XOM had given up on his M or didn't care, I would not have gotten the responce I did. The XOM was desparate and shared his guts to me. 

I felt like I got closure. I know that the pastor was lied to by the XOM and did not take kindly to it. Both the pastor and the employer put a lot of pressure on him to come clean to his wife. Of course with the recording he would not be able to deny it. I can't tell you the number of times he apologized to me. And to think just a few weeks earlier his pastor thought I was a lying nut case.

The XOM was raised Amish. His family is still old order Amish. He is the only one in his large family to have left and he left on good terms. I know the Amish and even though he did evil, he ran to his mother for advice and her advice was to face me and tell me the truth and make peace.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> *And to think just a few weeks earlier his pastor thought I was a lying nut case.*


*Ain't it just grand when the tables get turned?*


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> *Ain't it just grand when the tables get turned?*


Yes it is. I was tired of being accused of being mean, nasty, controlling, lying, etc by my wife and having her family and others believe it. i did not help matters when I contacted the pastor and gave him the wrong date. The XOM had the pastor come to his work place and he proved that he was there at work and that I was lying. I gave the XOM and my wife a reprieve by giving the pastor a wrong date, but as my wife told me, she told the XOM that it would only be a matter of time before he would be exposed as the recording I had was pretty clear and his voice could not be denied by those who knew it. And she told the XOM that I would not give up and it would only be a matter of time before I met with the pastor with the recording.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

I did with my wife's second OM, not the first. Never had much of an opportunity with the first though. Only times I ever saw him he was with his family at the time including their three young kids, and out of respect for his kids, I wouldn't confront him in front of them. I knew where they lived, but again, it would be in front of his kids.

With the second, he had managed to get my wife to leave me and they rented an apartment together. We were likely heading towards divorce. (This helps explain why this happened the way it did) I had bought a book for my wife and decided to go drop it off for her at her job before I left for work one morning. On my way, I saw POSOM drive past me on the street towards her job and saw him pull a hard u-turn in my rear view mirror when he saw me, so that he could follow me. He didn't think I recognized him or even knew what he looked like. He followed me to her job. I went in, dropped off the book, came out and saw him parked about a block down the street peeking at me. I got in my car to leave and decided to pull up right along side his car and got out. Again, he still thought I didn't know what he looked like or knew that he had followed me, so the stupid POS had slid all the way down to the floor of the driver's seat hoping I wouldn't see him. I walked up to the window looking down at him, he saw me, so he slid back up, rolled the window down and I asked him why he was following me.

The moron starts moving his hand through the trash filling his backseat and the floor of the front seat saying that he was lost and trying to find his map, and he didn't know what I was talking about as far as following me. I told him "No you aren't. I know you're ****ing my wife, I know you just dropped her off here and then you followed me here when you saw me two miles back." The guy STILL tried to play dumb and say he didn't know what I was talking about and that he was just lost, apparently sitting on the floor near the foot pedals on a random neighborhood street. (My wife worked inside a residence) I basically repeated myself sternly and then he suddenly sat up, threatened to harm me if he ever saw my face again, rolled up the window and drove off.

My favorite part? His car was such a POS that he had one of those "Big Gulp!" 64oz cups literally nailed into the driverside car door to use as a cup holder, because his little center-console cup holder was full of cigarette butts.

Afterwards, I went to work and mentioned it to a co-worker who suggested that I report his threat to the police. Not to press charges or anything, but just to get it on the record in case he does something else later on, to help establish a pattern just in case. My wife called me angrily later demanding to know why I had confronted and threatened him. I explained what happened and mentioned that I might file a report with the police after work. 45 minutes later, I get a call from a police lieutenant saying that the POSOM was there at the station filing a report himself (my wife had tipped him off to my plan so he decided to beat me to it) and asked if he could come to me to take my statement. I left work, gave the officer my statement and then after speaking with my lawyer I decided to go file for a restraining order.

For the record, I did not want to get this guy in legal trouble, I didn't want him arrested, I couldn't have cared about him. What I did care about was that I didn't want him anywhere near my then six year old daughter. I knew my wife had already taken her with him to a carnival a week or two earlier. (Horrendous parenting on her part, introducing a child to a new man twice her age only weeks after meeting him and less than two weeks after telling her that mommy and daddy aren't going to be together anymore) When filing the restraining order, as a parent, I'm allowed to request that the same protections be afforded to my child as well, so that's why I did it. The temporary restraining order was granted the next day and served to him.

Here's the think about protection from stalking orders in the state of Kansas though. (I have no idea how they work in other states) In Kansas, to qualify for a full order from a judge (usually for one year), you have to be able to show that TWO instances of stalking or threatening behavior has taken place and that at least one of those must have come AFTER he has been very directly and clearly told to stay away from you. Basically the state/court doesn't want people filing these things just because someone bothered you one day, it's got to be more than that and involve the individual ignoring your wish to be left alone. So in my request, I called his following me to my wife's work stalking offense #1 and his waiting for me outside stalking offense #2. The problem is, he had done no such thing to my daughter, so while temporary orders are pretty much automatic, I never would have gotten a long term order for my daughter.

Next, because this SOB decided to file a report against me first, and lie on it by saying I threatened him, I decided to report his threat and allow the city prosecutor to investigate him for aggravated assault. (Other man had only accused me of regular vanilla assault) "Assault" just means putting someone in a position where they are made to reasonably feel that they are in an immediate danger of bodily harm. AKA, a threat. His became "Aggravated Assault" when he attempted to conceal his identity and pretend to be someone else in the course of his threat. Assault is a low level misdemeanor punishable by a fine. Aggravated assault is a level 7 felony and punishable by a huge fine and 13 months in prison. Again I didn't want him thrown in jail, but figured it would be a handy bargaining chip if I needed it.

The best part: POSOM is a moron, I am NOT a moron. I did not get out of my vehicle to confront him in the middle of the street without first pulling out my smartphone, turning on my recording app, and sticking it back in my front dress shirt pocket, recording the whole conversation, hahahaha. So my plan was IF he bothered to show up for the protection from stalking order hearing, I'd wait to play that tape after he had a chance to tell his side of the story, claiming that I threatened him.

Anyhow, he did attend the hearing (which surprised me) but my lawyer wasn't able to attend on that date, so I asked for and received a continuance, which was set for over two months later. In the end, after talking to my wife once or twice, I ended up deciding to drop the request for the long term order. The problem I had was that I still wanted to save my marriage. Turning POSOM into more of an enemy to me than he already was would have only served to bond them even closer together as their mutual enemy. Plus because of the guy's prior issues with the court, it was very possible that my aggravated assault charges would stick and he'd get the maximum punishment as a repeat offender. That might SOUND like a good thing right? Having an active affair broken up by getting the OM literally thrown in jail right? But again, it would have made him a victim and bonded them even closer and she wouldn't have the opportunity for him to show her how worthless he really was. So I dropped both cases upon her swearing to me that she would never ever allow our daughter to be around him again. That's all I really wanted to begin with, and since I knew the odds were that the judge would not grant that to me, I figured this was the best bet. For the record, to this day I'm quite confident that she kept her promise. (I also trained my daughter well to recognize OM and immediately scream for help if she ever saw him and to tell me immediately)

In retrospect, a big part of me wishes I had gotten him thrown in jail, because he spent the next year sexually pursuing a couple of very young underage girls, was eventually caught after about six months and now is serving 34 months in state prison for it. So it's possible that this crime could have been prevented. (Though it's not all on me, the prosecutor could have pushed harder and still pursued the charges without me, but it would have been harder to do so) Luckily it sounds like he never did actually have sex with the girls, but did have a six month long text and calling relationship that included phone sex, lots of naked pictures going both ways, etc.

But thank goodness my wife kept her word on keeping our daughter away from him. Myself and all of her friends/family knew this guy was THE DEFINITION of a creep, we all knew something was very wrong and bad with him.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

i contacted both men from my w 2 ons.both were from out of town she never met before.first one was pretty arrogant and didnt give a crap he destoyed a marriage with 3 kids involved.i outed him to his pregnant gf.second one was texing me thinking i was my wife and when i told him who i was he never replied back, i was pissed he was single cause i wanted to out him.both are pos and not worth my time but i did post them both on cheaterville as a reward for their bad choices.


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## 2yearsago (Jun 28, 2013)

I sat on the fence for a long time about contacting OM's wife. I wish I would have known about this sooner. 

Do it for you and because they deserve to know.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

movin on said:


> i contacted both men from my w 2 ons.
> 
> he destoyed a marriage with 3 kids involved.


Are you saying your old lady did two guys you know about and one of them destroyed you marriage?


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

I bumped into my ex best friend after it happened. She froze like a deer in head lights and turned to leave. I stopped her and just told her she didn't have to run I was over it and not angry at her. We chatted and had a quick catch up. Nothing was mentioned about the betrayal. Was good to catch up with her but didn't try remake the friendship


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