# Wife 'doesn't fancy me anymore'



## Bottle

Hi,

My wife of 3.5 yrs said this to me 4.5 months ago and we have been separated ever since. I also got the ILYBNILWY speech, but the main thing was not fancying me anymore (she said she wouldnt have left if she did still have these feelings for me).

We have been together 5.5 yrs in total and have 3 children (2 are my stepchildren). 

My full story is on the going through divorce and separation thread on this site.

We had some communication problems last year and separated for 3 mths but went to MC and got back together. We have never had a problem physically in the past and my wife was the one who chased after me and we had passion in abundance.

I can't help but think she is running away as she's got 3 children with 3 different fathers and some issues from childhood which preent her getting too close/committed I think. 

I was just wondering if anyone had any examples of working with their partner in this type of situation and got those feelings back successfully. I mean if they changed in the first place (she fancied me loads up to year 4 of r'ship), then surely they could change back again?

She doesn't think so so has left - I have decided to not gie up on her yet though as don't want to lose her and my girls. I'm hoping with time she might come round.

Btw there is no A or OM.


----------



## MSC71

Sounds like a never ending cycle. She will meet someone else, think they are the best and leave them when she doesn't "feel it" anymore.


----------



## Bottle

MSC71 said:


> Sounds like a never ending cycle. She will meet someone else, think they are the best and leave them when she doesn't "feel it" anymore.


It seems like it. She did say if she fancied me still she wouldn't have left.

Thing is I am in better shape than when we got together and whilst I know its emotional as well for women the whole thing doesn't make sense.

Unless its her pattern which she won't ever change.


----------



## daisygirl 41

180!
Tell her you're going to start dating!
Watch her response!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Bottle

daisygirl 41 said:


> 180!
> Tell her you're going to start dating!
> Watch her response!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Think so? 

She seems to be wanting me to move on more than anything, probably to relieve her guilt.

She's a very stubborn person so it doesn't look good. 

I just think if I could get to spend some time with her we could get some of the magic back.


----------



## cantmove

Let her go. Move on. If she changes her mind later and you're still interested then you can give it another go. You can't change her mind. And if this is a pattern with her, she'll just do it again later.


----------

