# A woman's weight...



## MichelleBee

How important is your woman's weight to you?

Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?

What do you think of women who are overweight?

Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?

TIA.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


just a guess here but i think to a large population of men it is an issue but...
i think its more of an issue with women themselves.

myself, i like a little extra on a woman.
dont like the bony model look at all.


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## Stonewall

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


Depends on what woman you're talking about. Someone on TV makes a difference but not my wife. She worries about her weight but all I see is a woman that means everything to me. I don't see the weight she is so worried about. I only see the one thing in the world that I would ever desire.


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## nice777guy

My STXW's weight gain was never a turn-off. As long as she treated me right (in and outside the bedroom) AND was enthusiastic inside the bedroom - weight was never an issue.

The giant Trucker tattoo she got when we were near the end - THAT was a turn-off!


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## SockPuppet

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


From a purely sexual stand-point fat people are not much fun to look at. My wife has gained a considereable amount of weight, and recently I have noticed its challenging to orgasm, and thats not fun either.

Other than that, I dont judge people based upon their weight, unless they demand to make excuses as to why they are fat.


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## Zzyzx

I watch my diet and work out regularly; I would not want to be with someone who won't exercise at least some self-discipline. My mother set a rather high bar, even in her 70's she still weighs about 125. I've accepted much heavier than that in the women I've dated, the key is, is she taking care of herself? Does she still have a figure I can look at? Can she keep what she has under control? Yes there is definitely a point beyond which I don't find it attractive.


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## SimplyAmorous

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


It matters to my husband, I ask him these questions, he has outright told me if I gained 30 lbs (a guess) he knows the *desire* would be slipping -even added -he probably wouldn't be able to get it up - it does not offend me that he says this , I WANT THE TRUTH, and I also do not think any less of him to feel this way, he did say he would always LOVE me but this was about "desire - being turned on". 

He is a lower test guy already, so I better be careful not to go that route or I am screwing my own sex life . And that means a heck of alot to me. 

But not all men are the same... we have a guy friend, he is thin and he PREFERS his women heavier...he married my good friend, she is over 200lbs, loves her like the day he married her, they have 4 kids together, he has always wanted more sex than her..... he has told us he does NOT like them thin.


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## ocotillo

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?


Not nearly as important as other things.



MichelleBee said:


> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?


Not at all. I'm not convinced that the Jillian Michaels type of body is even healthy for the average woman. 



MichelleBee said:


> What do you think of women who are overweight?


Well that's a matter of degree  Round in all the right places is great, but too much of anything can be excessive.



MichelleBee said:


> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?


Not sure. I think the attitude changes with age, but even among young men, there are plenty who think the ideal promoted in women's magazines is unhealthy and unattractive.

There is nothing sexy about a woman looks like a teenage boy with a wig.


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## heartsbeating

I have asked my husband this too...since being on these boards lol...and there would be a sexual attraction issue for him if I became overweight. He'd obviously want to know the 'why' and I write this excluding medical reasons and such. Despite how I might look physically, to him it's more about the MINDSET and ACTIONS that would lessen attraction. 

He likes when I go for a jog, that I look after myself, that I eat healthily and with balance. I don't count calories, love food and just try to keep things in balance. It's my actions that he finds alluring. And this is how I view him too. I know I wouldn't find it cute or attractive if he sat and ate the whole tub of ice-cream. I do like that he has discipline and can enjoy what he enjoys without overindulging. He's not a big gym guy, but I find it attractive when he wakes up earlier and does push ups. And again, it's not so much about the physical for me either than seeing him take pride in himself.

Above all though, my husband is attracted to confidence.


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## MEM2020

This is very highly correlated to the man's education/income level. You almost never see a high income male dating an overweight woman. 

I think it is fair to say those men strongly prefer their wives to stay thin. 

I honestly think this is an area men and women should discuss before marrying.



MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


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## Runs like Dog

Are we talking overweigh or American overweight.


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## Unhappy2011

Why do women always ask this question?

How wonderfully deceptive it must be to grow up thinking somebody will love you for who you are on the inside.

Yeah somebody will but the reality is you probably won't be attracted to them back.

Even fat girls are shallow, they just rationalize it as "preferences."


I guess boys learn early that the girl they want wants more than just who they are on the inside.

This is why males often overcompensate with cars and displays, because they know how much a man's status and his ability to provide affects a woman's attraction.

Of course they try too hard they look like douche bag, and will fare no better. And then there is the competition from other males. It's not so easy to be a boy after all.

With heavier girls, their only competition is themselves. But they are so emotionally hurt, their only medication is food. They hate being fat and then eat to make themselves feel better. It's a downward spiral.


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## FirstYearDown

I am overweight and my husband is an engineer. I guess we are a rarity. I am the largest I have ever been in my life and I am also the happiest. 

Thankfully, most of my weight goes in my chest and bottom. I have a bit of a stomach pouch without the big legs and arms that most larger ladies have.

I wear a size twelve. I still get men hitting on me and my husband can't stop slapping my round butt. 

To each his own. Some husbands will only buy clothing gifts for their wives if the women stay small and other hubbies love curves.


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## nice777guy

Unhappy2011 said:


> Even fat girls are shallow, they just rationalize it as "preferences."


Not sure whether to chuckle or give a thumbs up...think there's some truth there though.


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## Deejo

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


A woman being obese is a total turn off to me.

Overweight means different things to different people. Overweight is not obese, but people certainly confuse the two. I know women who are overweight, that work their ass off at the gym. I like them, I admire their commitment, and some of them are in better shape than I am ... but ... I'm simply not attracted to apples, pears, or curves. 

I often state that 'attraction' isn't really a choice. You either are, or you aren't. I don't fault anyone for what or whom they are attracted to.

And according to Octillo, I'm attracted to teenage boys wearing wigs 

I have always, always, been HIGHLY attracted to female athletes.

*Most* men have a strong correlation between body-shape and attraction. To which body shape any given man is attracted to, is subjective.


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## Unhappy2011

nice777guy said:


> Not sure whether to chuckle or give a thumbs up...think there's some truth there though.


It's funny because it is true.


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## Enginerd

Cushion for pushin is nice. Tonnage is not. Curves are awesome. Low hanging stomach is not. Soft skin is wonderful. Three chins are not. Get the picture? 

Like someone said here. American fat is actually obese. Anything over +20lbs more then your ideal weight is just plain fat. Your ideal weight is not what the BMI scale says. It doesn't take athletic people or some ethnic groups into account. Its the weight you were when you are at your fittest. When you could run 5 miles without stopping or whatever you did to workout. You can carry more weight then the average person for your height and still be fit but only you know the truth. People come in all shapes. I'm 6'3" and 217 pounds now. I'm athletic and overweight by at least 15 pounds. I consider myself fat and so does the doctor. If you can't be honest with yourself about how fat you are then you have other problems. All the crap about obesity being acceptable is just crap. On the other hand if someone likes fat then that's fine with me. Just don't try and tell me its a good thing for the fatty.


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## alphapuppy

Not a man but have strong feelings about obesity. Health is attractive. Everyone looks good at different weights. But everyone looks better when they've been exercising hard and regularly and watching their diet, no matter how much they weigh. 

I'm sure that some men are very prejudiced against obese people just as some women are. But beyond that, I think some people prefer thin and others prefer thick. It's safe to say that everybody prefers health.

It's harder to feel good about yourself in bed (and anywhere else) when you aren't doing everything you can to stay healthy, and that's gotta show to a partner no matter how open-minded he or she is.


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## AFEH

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


Just how much overweight are you talking about here?


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## Lon

As a niceguy beta male who often felt like I had to settle in order to be loved, I had almost convinced myself that I was happy with an overweight W (and an overweight gf in a ltr before that). I was completely accepting of these women for who they are on the inside, I guess I never provided an incentive for them to push themselves to improve their appearance or win my attraction back, and I am fairly certain it is part of the reason for my lower sexual desire for them. I've often wondered why the women I am in relationships with only ever GAIN weight, and when they finally chose to start taking care of themselves dumping me was always part of their diet plan. WTF?

Since my separation and coming to these boards learning more about attraction and part of my own manning up I am realizing that to me physical appearance is of utmost importance, in me and a mate... now the hard part is working on myself, but I have actually learned first hand how much I am actually attracted to a slim body and how much of a physical difference it feels to me to be around, holding and being sexual with (I'm not a big guy, short medium build, and to me a more petite women just feels naturally more comfortable and compatible, however it still leaves a lot of room for curves just not flab)


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## AFEH

It’s exceptionally important. It’s not just about the fat, it’s about the lifestyle that led to the fat in the first place. And then there’s the personality, character that goes along with the fat which is typically very low self-esteem and very low self-respect plus the “blaming” or scapegoating that goes on wrt why they got fat in the first place.

And then there are all the side effects: Angina (chest pain), Atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), Cancer, Diabetes, Heart attack, High blood pressure, Joint pain, Metabolic syndrome, Mobility impairment, Osteoarthritis, Stroke. I think of fat people in the same way I think of people who self harm. They are quite literally disabling themselves and putting it on others to take care of them.

And then of course there is attraction, desire and sexual fulfilment. In tough times in a marriage sometimes the only “glue” that’s holding it together is the sexual side. And while that’s still there the couple can work their way through their problems. But if the wife is obese and therefore headed for a whole lot of medical problems, is leading a lifestyle that led to her being fat and is physically unattractive, maybe even repulsive, because of it then what chance is there for the marriage?

Unless of course both partners are obese.


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## that_girl

How fat is fat? 

I ask because I have about 20 more pounds to lose before I am where I want to be.

Hubs has never said anything...nor has our sexlife ever faltered.

I don't think I'm depressed or anything. I don't have low self-esteem and I respect myself.

I am overweight though. By 20 pounds. 
Hubs likes my ass...no matter what size


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## COguy

Didn't read any of the replies.

I think my wife is hot and honestly couldn't imagine a weight where I still wasn't attracted to her. She's gained and lost some weight since we were together, I don't find her any less sexy then before she had kids. Sometimes feeling her curves is sexy, actually most of the time.

The stretch marks and stuff don't bother me at all. The only thing that bothers me about my wife gaining weight is that she talks about it constantly and obsesses over it and tells me I don't really find her attractive.

I wish she would just have some self-esteem and realize she was sexy even though she's not as small as she used to be.


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## ocotillo

Deejo said:


> And according to Octillo, I'm attracted to teenage boys wearing wigs


Well there's a big difference between a woman who's thin because she's athletic and physically active versus a woman who's simply emaciated from starvation and possibly drugs as well. 

As a fanatical runner, I see the former pretty regularly, but I only have to open a woman's fashion magazine to see the latter. It's an impossible and unhealthy standard.

Sometimes I wonder if the "Teenage boy with a wig" look you see in those magazines is a reflection of the sexual orientation of a fair percentage of the men in the fashion industry.


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## Tall Average Guy

Enginerd said:


> Like someone said here. American fat is actually obese. Anything over +20lbs more then your ideal weight is just plain fat. Your ideal weight is not what the BMI scale says. It doesn't take athletic people or some ethnic groups into account. Its the weight you were when you are at your fittest. When you could run 5 miles without stopping or whatever you did to workout. You can carry more weight then the average person for your height and still be fit but only you know the truth. People come in all shapes. I'm 6'3" and 217 pounds now. I'm athletic and overweight by at least 15 pounds. I consider myself fat and so does the doctor. If you can't be honest with yourself about how fat you are then you have other problems. All the crap about obesity being acceptable is just crap. On the other hand if someone likes fat then that's fine with me. Just don't try and tell me its a good thing for the fatty.


This does not make any sense. I am about 20 lbs over my ideal weight according to the charts, my BMI is within normal ranges, yet I weigh less than I did when at my fittest, so what does that make me? By the way, according to the charts, you are likely more than 15 pounds overweight, even at your height/

As for the original question, I like curves and love them on my wife. She is working on her weight (after three kids and some health issues), and I love that she is doing that. I know it is slower than she would like, but it is not a big issue to me.


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## Deejo

ocotillo said:


> Well there's a big difference between a woman who's thin because she's athletic and physically active versus a woman who's simply emaciated from starvation and possibly drugs as well.
> 
> As a fanatical runner, I see the former pretty regularly, but I only have to open a woman's fashion magazine to see the latter. It's an impossible and unhealthy standard.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if the "Teenage boy with a wig" look you see in those magazines is a reflection of the sexual orientation of a fair percentage of the men in the fashion industry.


I take no issue with your characterization. And yes, I do support healthy athletics and do not condone harmful eating disorders to look thin.

I thought your comment was funny because my best friend who distinctly likes Rubenesque figures on women, gives me grief about liking women that "are built like dudes ...".

Ex was a D1 soccer player and personal trainer. Last two serious gf's were respectively, a black belt karate instructor and a female running back for a women's pro football league (a decade ago). I like jocks.

That said, my current partner is distinctly ... not a jock. Trying to date outside the box.

I dated an overweight woman in my 20's. Her shape, over 20 years later is virtually unchanged. I don't say that with disrespect. Her shape is her shape, and she is happily married today. I liked her a lot. We are still friends. But I can remember in terms of life habits ... she distinctly said and demonstrated time and again when we went out. "I do not like, and I do not eat vegetables." And she meant it. From a lifestyle perspective, that was pretty hard for me to get behind.

The best thing I can convey in a relationship, is that you should be honest with yourself and your partner about what is important to you. You can do this without being shallow, or cruel. If that is the interpretation of your partner ... then they simply aren't the partner for you.


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## Kobo

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?
> 
> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?
> 
> What do you think of women who are overweight?
> 
> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?
> 
> TIA.


1. It is very important. I can barely look at skinny girls. I can get grossed out if the booty is flat. I mean, I want to make love to a woman. I am more lenient in the other direction though.

2. Depends on what is overweight and how she carries it. I can't do the big stomach but I can work with larger thighs, hips, and booty. Also is the skin loose or tight? There is no "one size fits all". Smaller women with loose skin turn me off to a degree also.

3. I have no issue with overweight women. I don't look at them and see lazy or no self control as others like to do. But again it depends on what you are considering overweight.

4. Don't know what most men think. I would guess it matter where they are from, race, etc.


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## The_Good_Wife

Speaking from experience I get hit on and turn more heads now that I am a size 10. Before I used to be a size 6. Men still liked me, but for some reason I feel like I get more attention now. I do have a small waist and my weight goes mainly on the lower part of my body. I don't know if I have started dressing better? Or if men somehow seem more interested in married young women?? Maybe men like biger butts and small weists more than flat bodies? 

I am 5'9 so a size 6 on me didn't look as good as it would look on a shorter woman. Personally I feel like if I gained 10 or 20 more pounds my body could still handle it, but I would start feeling unhealthy.


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## alphapuppy

The_Good_Wife said:


> Speaking from experience I get hit on and turn more heads now that I am a size 10. Before I used to be a size 6. Men still liked me, but for some reason I feel like I get more attention now. I do have a small waist and my weight goes mainly on the lower part of my body. I don't know if I have started dressing better? Or if men somehow seem more interested in married young women?? Maybe men like biger butts and small weists more than flat bodies?
> 
> I am 5'9 so a size 6 on me didn't look as good as it would look on a shorter woman. Personally I feel like if I gained 10 or 20 more pounds my body could still handle it, but I would start feeling unhealthy.


See, this is what I'm talking about, healthy is different for everybody, and mental health counts too.

It's not really about size, more about how well one takes care of one's self. Like, you could be 20 lbs heavier but SO FREAKIN HAPPY that you get to eat good food that you'd be more attractive than you were when you were 20 lbs lighter. 

I did hear once that women who were living with a mate were more pheromonally attractive to other men and also more likely to show more skin if they went out w/o their husbands. So.... maybe there is more at work here than size!!


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## Enginerd

Tall Average Guy said:


> This does not make any sense. I am about 20 lbs over my ideal weight according to the charts, my BMI is within normal ranges, yet I weigh less than I did when at my fittest, so what does that make me? By the way, according to the charts, you are likely more than 15 pounds overweight, even at your height/
> 
> As for the original question, I like curves and love them on my wife. She is working on her weight (after three kids and some health issues), and I love that she is doing that. I know it is slower than she would like, but it is not a big issue to me.


Not sure why you say that. I said the BMI doesn't work for athletic people and I said I was at least 15 pounds fat. I guess I forgot to say that the BMI scale can fail in both directions which is what your implying. When I'm at 202lbs I'm a very fit guy with low body fat even thought the BMI chart wants me to be around 192 for a healthy weight. The BMI scale doesn't really factor in healthy muscle density. If you look at your typical NFL running back they are normally around 6'1 and 220lbs which is a 29 on the BMI scale. 29 is top of the overweight limit.


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## Tall Average Guy

Enginerd said:


> Not sure why you say that. I said the BMI doesn't work for athletic people and I said I was at least 15 pounds fat. I guess I forgot to say that the BMI scale can fail in both directions which is what your implying. When I'm at 202lbs I'm a very fit guy with low body fat even thought the BMI chart wants me to be around 192 for a healthy weight. The BMI scale doesn't really factor in healthy muscle density. If you look at your typical NFL running back they are normally around 6'1 and 220lbs which is a 29 on the BMI scale. 29 is top of the overweight limit.


First off, I messed up when I said BMI. I meant the calipers, where they measure the fat pockets. So that might fix some of the confusion.

I guess my issue was the idea that your ideal weight is the one in which you are most fit. As I noted, I am 5-10 lbs under the weight I was at when I was most fit, yet consider myself to weigh about 5-10 lbs more than I should. At 6'4" and 210, I am still 20-30 lbs over what the charts say, yet I honestly don't think anyone would consider me fat, including my doctor or me.


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## Kobo

stritle said:


> the charts are just a guideline though, and can't be applied blindly. not everyone has the same bone mass, frame width, muscle density etc.


So you mean some people are actually big boned?


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## Tall Average Guy

stritle said:


> the charts are just a guideline though, and can't be applied blindly. not everyone has the same bone mass, frame width, muscle density etc.
> 
> you don't need anything other than a mirror to decide if you're fat or not.
> 
> 
> 
> just looked up my BMI for giggles........37.3. may be able to hit 39 by April.


One chart I found had different ranges depending on whether I have a small, medium or large frame. Even if I was chacterized as having a large frame, I am still 5 pounds over weight. Seems off to me.


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## CrazyGuy

I find women of all shapes and sizes attractive unless they are really over weight or under nourished.

My wife is about 220 lb. I do not have a problem with desire. I have a problem with her attitude. I am in a sexless marriage because she does not need that in her life.

I encourage her to work on her self issues but there are always excuses.

I myself am over weight but not as much as her. When I try to get exercise she makes me feel guilty. She says I am being selfish spending that time on working out.

That said..... IF I give up and go the divorce route I will look for something about 80 lb less then my wife. I want to know what it feel like to ride something that small. A woman that can straddle me while I make breakfast. That's my idea of multitasking.


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## Unhappy2011

ocotillo said:


> Sometimes I wonder if the "Teenage boy with a wig" look you see in those magazines is a reflection of the sexual orientation of a fair percentage of the men in the fashion industry.


lol...yeah.


Sadly there does exist a very common misconception made by many women, especially younger girls.

That models in fashion magazines reflect a standard that society, or men, declare is beautiful.

Most heterosexual men do not read fashion magazines. Nor do they usually work in the fashion industry.

They are letting a bunch of gay men who work in the fashion industry many of whom are fruit cakes and their bizarro *** hags tell them what female form is beautiful.

I have always heard that the preference for tall and skinny models is because they want walking clothes hangers.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

saw a show about these guys and gals...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Feederism


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## OhGeesh

Everyone has there things they don't compromise much on. For some it's "Must have a pretty smile", "Must have a good hair", "Must be tall", you get my drift.

I work with guys who think plus sized woman that are curvy are smoking hot size 14-18 I'm talking hour glass figures.

I'm a size 2-6 man myself, but everyone has different interests. There are guys that exclusively date large woman!!


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## Unhappy2011

OhGeesh said:


> Everyone has there things they don't compromise much on. For some it's "Must have a pretty smile", "Must have a good hair", "Must be tall", you get my drift.
> 
> I work with guys who think plus sized woman that are curvy are smoking hot size 14-18 I'm talking hour glass figures.
> 
> I'm a size 2-6 man myself, but everyone has different interests. There are guys that exclusively date large woman!!


What kind of guys exclusively date large women?

Are they also large?


Also curvy and hourglass figures should not be used as euphemisms for overweight females.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

Unhappy2011 said:


> What kind of guys exclusively date large women?
> 
> Are they also large?
> 
> 
> Also curvy and hourglass figures should not be used as euphemisms for overweight females.


check out my link above ^
a lot of the guys a slim.


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## Lon

Unhappy2011 said:


> What kind of guys exclusively date large women?
> 
> Are they also large?
> 
> 
> Also curvy and hourglass figures should not be used as euphemisms for overweight females.


chubby chasers. these dudes need not be large, some are skinny.

I also dislike when obese women label themselves "curvy" I guess the same way a sphere is. I have nothing against any woman's figure, good or bad, it is the dishonesty and flawed self-perception that detracts. If you say "hourglass" figure that means you are shaped like an hourglass (ie small waisted) just having big boobs and badonadonk is only 2/3 of the recipe.

I also like the term BBW when it is applicable, just being big doesn't give you the right to use the moniker.

Is it a guy thing to enjoy talking about this subject so much, or is it just me?


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## SoWhat

I like athletic looking curvy women. 
Women who sprint have super sexy bodies to me: usually a decent to sizable bust, tight waist, big rear end, thick thighs. Mmmmmm.

I very rarely like very thin women (Adriana Lima's the exception that proves the rule). My range is pretty broad though - some skinny girls, some thick girls.

The whole thing comes out of evolution - the woman with the little waist and the big hips/butt is going to have babies and those babies are going to have her/our good genes.

I dated a girl who put on a ton of weight in a very short period of time - something like 50 pounds in 6 months. I wasn't *as* attracted to her, but I still felt something. Probably based on the bond we'd already formed and all that, but still very real. I'd grab her big butt all the time.


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## LuvMyH

As a small woman who has had issues with body image for the majority of my life, I read threads like this with interest. I feel like I gain some good from them, but I dislike how they tend to end up being negative about thin women. Phrases like " teenage boys with wigs" is just as insulting as some things said about obese women that contribute to some of them hating their bodies. 

I agree that everyone has their own preferences and there's nothing wrong with stating them, but why be negative about those who don't fit your criteria of an ideal woman? As for myself, I've been what some would call too thin, but I gained 10 pounds about two years ago. I was worried about losing it for quite a while until my husband called me sexy and curvy in a dress I tried on for him because I thought it made me look fat and my family pointed out that I look healthier. I love to exercise, but I'm less strict about my diet these days. If I want a cheeseburger, I will eat one. ( with no fries and an exta long workout, of course) 

I still have much respect for the self discipline of dancers, athletes and models. Most of them work hard to maintain their bodies and shouldn't be put down for it. One man's "teenage boy with a wig" is another man's Venus. One man's "fatty" is another man's whole world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unhappy2011

LuvMyH said:


> One man's "fatty" is another man's whole world.


You have a way with words.


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## Kobo

LuvMyH said:


> As a small woman who has had issues with body image for the majority of my life, I read threads like this with interest. I feel like I gain some good from them, but I dislike how they tend to end up being negative about thin women. Phrases like " teenage boys with wigs" is just as insulting as some things said about obese women that contribute to some of them hating their bodies.
> 
> I agree that everyone has their own preferences and there's nothing wrong with stating them, but why be negative about those who don't fit your criteria of an ideal woman? As for myself, I've been what some would call too thin, but I gained 10 pounds about two years ago. I was worried about losing it for quite a while until my husband called me sexy and curvy in a dress I tried on for him because I thought it made me look fat and my family pointed out that I look healthier. I love to exercise, but I'm less strict about my diet these days. If I want a cheeseburger, I will eat one. ( with no fries and an exta long workout, of course)
> 
> I still have much respect for the self discipline of dancers, athletes and models. Most of them work hard to maintain their bodies and shouldn't be put down for it. One man's "teenage boy with a wig" is another man's Venus. One man's "fatty" is another man's whole world.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Usually "teenage boy with a wig" is being said to take a shot at the guy not the lady. The same way some men are called "chubby chasers".


----------



## nader

My wife is overweight but can be sexy as hell when she tries. I have not trouble wanting sex from her but it may be because I just have a high drive . . . I don't understand guys who lose their desire when their wife gains a few, especially after childbirth. 

I'd love her to lose weight and look awesome but it's not our #1 focus right now, as new parents. I could stand to lose some myself.. in the long run I want us to lose weight together. But I've tried really hard not to pressure her or really even mention it at all.. but it is not important enough for me to push her, unless it's about 'being healthy' rather than looking hot.

That said, I've never had sex with a woman who had a knockout body.. it may be something I will just have to accept. 
the one girl I was with before my current wife was obese and actually kind of repulsive.. it was a weird, desperate time for me!


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## ocotillo

LuvMyH said:


> As a small woman who has had issues with body image for the majority of my life, I read threads like this with interest. I feel like I gain some good from them, but I dislike how they tend to end up being negative about thin women. Phrases like " teenage boys with wigs" is just as insulting as some things said about obese women that contribute to some of them hating their bodies.


Ouch...

That comment was specifically in reference to the unnaturally emaciated look of fashion models in magazines targeted at young women. 

Most of those models are not thin because they're long distance runners; they're thin because they starve themselves damn near to death.

For a young women who's not finished growing yet, that's an impossible, destructive standard.


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## SoWhat

Ocotillo, I agree. It's fascinating to me that the skinnier models are those in catalogs and magazines aimed at girls/women, rather than men.

But, I do wonder how wide an effect this is actually having. 
I suspect many, many more women and girls in this country face negative health issues because of being *over*, rather than under, weight.


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## SoWhat

I agree that more seems to come from women, Mommy22. 

Over 60% of Americans are overweight; over 33% are obese. Exact percentages vary, but those are pretty staggering estimates.

Those numbers are significantly greater than the number of women/men who are underweight. 

I'm not suggesting that we stop criticizing the trend of hiring anorexic models. But I do think we have to stop and think about whether this practice is truly causing much of an impact on the way people/women/girls eat and behave. 

The best thing to do is to encourage more exercise from childhood through late adolescence. I've read that a huge number of girls drop sports as young teens and develop sedentary habits. Good exercise habits will do volumes to prevent young women from becoming under or overweight over the long haul, IMO.


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## LuvMyH

I feel like magazines have improved some, though. They aren't touting the heroin chic or waif look of the 90's these days. Sure, alot of celebrities are too thin, but for the most part I think the media has come a long way. Models look healthier and curvy girls are getting good parts in movies and tv shows. 

@ Octillo- I'm sorry I singled out the phrase you used. It just stood out to me because I hadn't heard it before. It made me think of the skinny teenage girls who can't seem to gain weight , so they cover themselves up in huge sweatshirts. Hearing something like that would be hurtful to girls like that, just the same as making fun of obesity would be hurtful to an overweight girl. That's the point I was trying to make. Derogatory statements about either is hurtful. But I do get what you're saying ,too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unhappy2011

The problem for many overweight people is how they think about it.

I think I have always had a healthy body image.

For example, if I put on extra weight, I can easily say, "Damn I am getting fat and think about cutting the calories and exercising more.'

That's it. I don't feel bad about it. I almost feel challenged to get back into good shape again.

That's because I know I can as I have been before.


I suspect the people who struggle with weight, have been large most of their lives and can't even conceptualize themselves as more fit.

So it's like they hate themselves. But what they don't get is fat is literally a superficial layer. It's not who you are on the inside.


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## ocotillo

LuvMyH said:


> I feel like magazines have improved some, though. They aren't touting the heroin chic or waif look of the 90's these days.


Probably the most egregious example ever occurred fairly recently. This was where Ralph Lauren digitally retouched a model down to concentration camp proportions and had to publicly apologize for it. 

I don't follow this real closely, but if magazines in general are changing, that's a good thing.


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## LuvMyH

ocotillo said:


> Probably the most egregious example ever occurred fairly recently. This was where Ralph Lauren digitally retouched a model down to concentration camp proportions and had to publicly apologize for it.
> 
> I don't follow this real closely, but if magazines in general are changing, that's a good thing.



Well, to be honest, I did some thinking about this and it came to my attention that the type of women's magazine I read regularly are different than the type I read 5 or 10 years ago. Instead of Glamour, Marie Claire and Cosmo, the ones you'll find in my house are Self, Womens Health, and Shape. ( besides gardening and decorating ones and the rare Cosmo) These are health focussed magazines, so naturally they are going to use healthy models and celebrities. 

I'm going to have to check out the ones I used to read. I'm curious, now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Minncouple

Well, first I agree that some magazines do put out an unrealistic image of women and thier weights.

But, the US society spends more that any other nation on health care and we have one of the most unfit societies out there. Our obesity issue is a direct result of the life style put out there. 

Having been around the fitness lifestyle for over 20 years, I can honestly tell you only about 10% or obese people actually have a clinic/medical issue causing the obesity. The rest simply dont have the desire to change, or tired and have had the proper motivation to continue.

I personally dont see how you can respect yourself, if you dont out your health as a priority.


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## Hunch

I'm a pragmatic fattist. Pragmatic because, as said above, the equation to losing weight is not some magic formula, potion, lotion or religion that costs money. Losing weight is simply (more miles) + motivation - pies = weight loss. I had big attraction issues when my ex gained weight- it is the most public display of disrespect for a spouse - "I was healthy when we met (the best opposite of FAT is HEALTHY, not 'thin) but my spouse is so obedient to my needs (to eat cake and not have my feelings hurt by being called 'overweight) that I don't even need self respect!! He/she does that for me!! 

I've been fat. But at no point was I delusional about it being 'medical' 'genetic' or 'anyone elses fault. I picked up an injury to my leg during training, and I was on crutches/ with a stick for a long time, sou couldn't run. But I could swim. I didn't, cause I was busy feeling sorry for myself, and being lazy. Zero self respect. All it takes is to overcome the fear of hard work. 

If you can't respect yourself, why should I make the effort to respect you? 
I understand that some people find fat attractive- live and let live, everyone has their 'Thang' but it's something I dislike intensely. And when I hear 'I have a slow metablosim' my mind finishes it with 'and a very fast pie arm.' (ta Al Murray.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anna garret 01

nader said:


> My wife is overweight but can be sexy as hell when she tries. I have not trouble wanting sex from her but it may be because I just have a high drive . . . I don't understand guys who lose their desire when their wife gains a few, especially after childbirth.
> 
> I'd love her to lose weight and look awesome but it's not our #1 focus right now, as new parents. I could stand to lose some myself.. in the long run I want us to lose weight together. But I've tried really hard not to pressure her or really even mention it at all.. but it is not important enough for me to push her, unless it's about 'being healthy' rather than looking hot.
> 
> That said, I've never had sex with a woman who had a knockout body.. it may be something I will just have to accept.
> the one girl I was with before my current wife was obese and actually kind of repulsive.. it was a weird, desperate time for me!


you have a great attitude......


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## bossesgirl26

my weight kinda goes up and down a little, varies 10lbs or so. always in my belly. my husband will not hesitate to point it out. first he will make a little comment trying to be funny. I usually take the hint. before we got married we both said we were committed to staying in shape, etc. he works out alot. he BARELY has some stomach fat. but ofcourse i never say anything. men can get away with it. my husband is 6"4 and about 285. he is just a big guy and strong, a police officer. i go to gym about 4x per week. my husband expects me to go atleast 3x. if i slack and start getting my pooch, like i said he will make a little comment. then if i am still not working out, he will come home and ask me what i did that day. (i stay at home with kids) and if i don't mention gym, he will follow it up with a smack on the ass and tell me i need to get my ass to the gym. that usually does the trick. i don't wanna let my husband down. he is a good looking, fit man. i want to be sexy and attractive for him. but i get tired too. and i have had three kids. and by golly i worked out all thru three pregnancies, til about 36 wks with each. just because i was pg my hubby still found me sexy. my husband would not like it if i were overweight. after my third pregnancy i had gained alot. (prob 35lbs) about 8wks post partum my husband kindly suggested i get back to gym. he knew it would make me feel better too. it took me awhile though. but it put him over the edge when he found out i was trying to buy ALOT of new baggy clothes because i wasnt even trying to lose the weight. that did not fly. i got my debit card taken away, no traditional sex and had to go to gym 4x week. got my dc back after a couple weeks. and i think i got anal sex and gave bj's for about 4 wks before normal sex resumed. my husband runs a tight ship


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## MSP

I've yet to meet a person, male or female, who lived an active lifestyle and was fat. I'm not talking about exercising. I mean, they enjoyed physical activity and kept active for the fun of it. These are people who join sports clubs or running groups. They have active friends and maybe run in marathons together or whatever. They tend to also try to eat healthily, too. I've never met someone like this who is fat. 

Conversely, all of the really fat people I have met dislike physical activity and healthy eating. They might do those things, but it's a chore. And they do it in the least amount they can get away with, rather than it being a lifestyle.

Now this might sound like I'm stereotyping and maybe not all fat people everywhere are like this, but it has been my experience, without exception.


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## Lionelhutz

For me it's complicated. In my teens and early twenties I was only attracted to thin girls. Not the boney boy body of a model but feminine lean.

As I have grown older, I find curvy bodies far more interesting. Also I truly understand the ultimate importance of a sexy brain. A women with the right attitude can be intensely sexy regardless of her body type.

So being overweight itself is not so much an issue how much as where it is distributed. Mind you I still find obesity a turn off but mostly because I can't help but think of all the likely health issues and limited energy that obesity imposes.


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## suesmith

bossesgirl26 said:


> my weight kinda goes up and down a little, varies 10lbs or so. always in my belly. my husband will not hesitate to point it out. first he will make a little comment trying to be funny. I usually take the hint. before we got married we both said we were committed to staying in shape, etc. he works out alot. he BARELY has some stomach fat. but ofcourse i never say anything. men can get away with it. my husband is 6"4 and about 285. he is just a big guy and strong, a police officer. i go to gym about 4x per week. my husband expects me to go atleast 3x. if i slack and start getting my pooch, like i said he will make a little comment. then if i am still not working out, he will come home and ask me what i did that day. (i stay at home with kids) and if i don't mention gym, he will follow it up with a smack on the ass and tell me i need to get my ass to the gym. that usually does the trick. i don't wanna let my husband down. he is a good looking, fit man. i want to be sexy and attractive for him. *but i get tired too. and i have had three kids. *and by golly i worked out all thru three pregnancies, til about 36 wks with each. just because i was pg my hubby still found me sexy. my husband would not like it if i were overweight. after my third pregnancy i had gained alot. (prob 35lbs) about 8wks post partum my husband kindly suggested i get back to gym. he knew it would make me feel better too. it took me awhile though. but it put him over the edge when he found out i was trying to buy ALOT of new baggy clothes because i wasnt even trying to lose the weight. that did not fly.* i got my debit card taken away, no traditional sex and had to go to gym 4x week. got my dc back after a couple weeks. and i think i got anal sex and gave bj's for about 4 wks before normal sex resumed. my husband runs a tight ship*


I am glad you are ok with this sort of treatment... 'cause I sure wouldnt be! Losing your debit card, and only anal sex and BJ's as your punishment even though you stay home and take care of 3 kids all day, everyday!?! 

I think its rude, disrespectful and insulting, and I'm sure you deserve better.

Does anyone else have any concerns about this, or am I the only one?


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## SomeLady

bossesgirl26 said:


> he is just a big guy and strong, a police officer.


I thought you said he was a fireman?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...26846-not-attracted-my-wife-4.html#post355798


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## suesmith

SomeLady said:


> I thought you said he was a fireman?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...26846-not-attracted-my-wife-4.html#post355798


My apologies. I usually try not to feed the trolls.


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## Therealbrighteyes

SomeLady said:


> I thought you said he was a fireman?
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...26846-not-attracted-my-wife-4.html#post355798


She also said he was 6'5 then 6'4", that he is such a nice husband then cheats left and right and left her. She also has 3 or 4 kids depending on the day and time.


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## suesmith

Like I said.... troll. I wont be replying to her again. Some people need to get a life.


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## Freak On a Leash

Interesting thread. AS a woman I don't like my men overweight or even a bit flabby. They don't have to be "cut" and ultra thin but I like them to be in shape. Flabby and out of shape are right out. I don't like the look or feel of rolls of fat on others or myself. 

don't care what other people think when it comes to my weight, I only care about myself and what I think of myself. 

Over the years I gained weight and found myself feeling less desirable and confident. Plus I was getting back problems and not feeling as energetic as I did when I was younger. But mostly I just felt like crap and was wearing baggy clothes and not taking care of myself. I would work out but I was in denial of the fact that in order to really lose weight I had to eat less. But I like eating and didn't want to deal with that. 

But it was affecting my self esteem so when I hit Size 14 and was heading towards Size 16 and shopping in the Men's section I decided to take the plunge and lose the weight. I put myself on a 1000-1200/day calorie diet and began working out. That did it.

In just over a year I went down to a Size 3 and was sharing clothes with my 17 year old daughter. I purposely went shopping and bought a new wardrobe and as I lost the weight I took my pants in and threw all my old "fat" clothes out or gave them away. 

I got my hair styled up and bought make up and really starting putting myself together for the first time in years..since before I had my kids. 

Not only did I look better but I felt better too! My back stopped aching and I had the endurance and energy that I did 20 years ago. I got my sex drive back too because I felt better about my body and wanted to have fun with it again! 

Since then the hardest part has been keeping the weight off and working out regularly. I work out to tone up and feel better and I diet to keep the weight off. When I put weight back on over the past summer and found that my clothes were getting tight or not fitting I went back on my stringent diet and lost the weight again. It's a constant battle. I'm always counting calories though now that I'm back to "goal" weight I will allow myself a "treat" on the weekends but I'm constantly keeping an eye on myself to make sure I don't slip back. 

Summers are the hardest because it's then that I like to go out and take vacations, eat out and socialize and it's hard to resist good food and drink. In the winter I tend to be on a more restrictive diet and schedule so it's easier to keep it off, even with the holidays thrown in there. 

I'm proud of my diet/work out regimen and do NOT want to be overweight again. But it's because it makes ME feel better and more confident and I prefer to be this way. I like being a Size 3-5. If someone else feels happy with a bit more "meat" on their bones and a Size 10, 12 or 14 that's fine but I love looking in the mirror and seeing myself toned and fit with my abs looking "cut" and feeling my muscles getting stronger and firmer as I work 'em. It's just the way I am.


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## suesmith

Freak On a Leash said:


> Interesting thread. AS a woman I don't like my men overweight or even a bit flabby. They don't have to be "cut" and ultra thin but I like them to be in shape. Flabby and out of shape are right out. I don't like the look or feel of rolls of fat on others or myself.
> 
> don't care what other people think when it comes to my weight, I only care about myself and what I think of myself.
> 
> Over the years I gained weight and found myself feeling less desirable and confident. Plus I was getting back problems and not feeling as energetic as I did when I was younger. But mostly I just felt like crap and was wearing baggy clothes and not taking care of myself. I would work out but I was in denial of the fact that in order to really lose weight I had to eat less. But I like eating and didn't want to deal with that.
> 
> But it was affecting my self esteem so when I hit Size 14 and was heading towards Size 16 and shopping in the Men's section I decided to take the plunge and lose the weight. I put myself on a 1000-1200/day calorie diet and began working out. That did it.
> 
> In just over a year I went down to a Size 3 and was sharing clothes with my 17 year old daughter. I purposely went shopping and bought a new wardrobe and as I lost the weight I took my pants in and threw all my old "fat" clothes out or gave them away.
> 
> I got my hair styled up and bought make up and really starting putting myself together for the first time in years..since before I had my kids.
> 
> Not only did I look better but I felt better too! My back stopped aching and I had the endurance and energy that I did 20 years ago. I got my sex drive back too because I felt better about my body and wanted to have fun with it again!
> 
> Since then the hardest part has been keeping the weight off and working out regularly. I work out to tone up and feel better and I diet to keep the weight off. When I put weight back on over the past summer and found that my clothes were getting tight or not fitting I went back on my stringent diet and lost the weight again. It's a constant battle. I'm always counting calories though now that I'm back to "goal" weight I will allow myself a "treat" on the weekends but I'm constantly keeping an eye on myself to make sure I don't slip back.
> 
> Summers are the hardest because it's then that I like to go out and take vacations, eat out and socialize and it's hard to resist good food and drink. In the winter I tend to be on a more restrictive diet and schedule so it's easier to keep it off, even with the holidays thrown in there.
> 
> I'm proud of my diet/work out regimen and do NOT want to be overweight again. But it's because it makes ME feel better and more confident and I prefer to be this way. I like being a Size 3-5. If someone else feels happy with a bit more "meat" on their bones and a Size 10, 12 or 14 that's fine but I love looking in the mirror and seeing myself toned and fit with my abs looking "cut" and feeling my muscles getting stronger and firmer as I work 'em. It's just the way I am.


Congratulations on your success! if you dont mind.. can I ask how old you are? (Im wondering if you are also dealing with menopause while being so successful at this?)


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## Complexity

Runs like Dog said:


> Are we talking overweigh or American overweight.


:rofl:


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## Freak On a Leash

suesmith said:


> Congratulations on your success! if you dont mind.. can I ask how old you are? (Im wondering if you are also dealing with menopause while being so successful at this?)


Thankyou!  I'm 48. No menopause as of yet although I think my body is thinking about it. I won't get into that here. For that you'll have to go the Ladies Lounge. 

I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it but I have to say that I think it may be a convenient excuse to let yourself go, much as many women use pregnancy/child rearing/age as an excuse to explain away their weight gain during those years. I did that myself. 

Fact is, one's metabolism does slow down as you age. You just can't eat as much as you did when you were younger. I guess there are some exceptions to this but it seems that everyone I know, especially my gal friends, have let themselves gain weight little by little, bit by bit over the years. I'm now thinner than all of them and it hasn't been easy keeping the weight off. It'll probably get harder but I'm dedicated to this because I like being in shape so much better than being overweight. 

Maybe it helps that I'm naturally vain because when I did gain weight I just couldn't live with it..so I changed it rather than accept it. 

Most importantly, I feel good about myself and I feel healthy. I'm physically active. I work out for an hour and then go to work on my feet all day. I hike and kayak. I can ski for two days on black diamonds and barely feel sore. 10 years ago I would've felt like a train had run over me and been sleeping on a heating pad after two heavy days of skiing. Now I'm fine. That's a good thing! :smthumbup: That's where the losing weight AND working out comes into play. 

Plus men seem to think I'm pretty hot so that makes me feel good. I've come to the conclusion that if you like and accept what you are and feel good about then you are ahead of the game. But there's no way I'm ever going to look like I did when I was 25. That's just life. 

Short of some pretty intense plastic surgery (which I can't afford) there are some things that you can't change due to the natural process of aging but I can look in the mirror now and I like what I see. That's what matters to me.


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## romantic_guy

We both try really hard to stay fit, trim, and to keep our bodies like the other found us. That has been tough since we found each other at 16 and 17 years old! I fell in love with this cute little 105 lb girl, and she fell in love with this 135 lb guy. I love petite women (everything petite) with slender legs. She likes a guy with a runners body without big muscles. At 55, she is 5'2" and 112 lbs (size 4 jeans...mmmmm she is HOT) and at 56 I am 5'8" and 148 lbs. I honestly don't know what I would do if she gained 50 lbs, but I hold myself to the same standard.


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## cloudwithleggs

Runs like Dog said:


> Are we talking overweigh or American overweight.


two thirds of all americans are obese, so says Americas biggest loser.

i'm 5' 6" 118 lbs slight frame, the only time i am 14lbs heavier is when i'm breast feeding, does it to me every time.

And being pregnant did wonders for my body, because before i was to thin, as i was 105lbs.


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## KJ5000

I've always preferred curvy women so my wife's weight gain wasn't the main issue. It's WHY she gained weight that bothered me initially.
After I demanded she cut the emailing her "platonic guy friend" she completely and I do mean *completely *stopped exercising.

She gained back all the weight she had lost Plus some but she did what I asked so I won't gripe about a few extra pounds.


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## nice777guy

Trenton said:


> I always worry about being fat. It stinks. I wish I could embrace my body happily and not be tempted by White Castle--haha. My husband has always been nothing but attracted and complimentary to me. I hope to some day to get to the point with myself that he's at with me now.
> 
> Bossesgirl26...so relieved you're a troll. We seem to have the same troll around lately whose signature is the inability to use paragraphs.


Trenton - you are thin!!! Or else really good with photoshop!!!

Also - I like Trolls! Always seem to make for interesting conversation!!!


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## Kobo

Trenton said:


> I always worry about being fat. It stinks. I wish I could embrace my body happily and not be tempted by White Castle--haha. My husband has always been nothing but attracted and complimentary to me. I hope to some day to get to the point with myself that he's at with me now.
> 
> Bossesgirl26...so relieved you're a troll. We seem to have the same troll around lately whose signature is the inability to use paragraphs.




hmmm white castles, yum yum. 

If my lady comes home smaller than a size eight I'm feeding her a Ham Sandwich. I dated high school girls in highschool. I need a woman I can hold on too.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I miss being super thin and toned! I use to run 36 miles a week and that stopped when I broke my neck. Now I spend most my day resting my neck.

I watch what I eat, I cook mostly healthy foods. If the dinner I'm making is higher in calories, I'll skip it and eat a bowl of shredded wheat in it's place.

I'm no longer toned, I've put on some weight, but I've been in the same size jeans for years. They are a little tight, but I do not run any longer, so it's expected.

I do bike on the stationary bike, but I'm limited to my minutes and how much tension I use. My hubby is an ironman triathlete, so he's very athletic. I use to race in triathlon's myself, but nothing like the ironman. I never had that much endurance.

Anyways, my husband has never mentioned my weight gains. I can fluctuate 10-15 pounds easily. My metabolism is working against me now that I'm older. 

My husband still desires me. It shows and we even shower together. I have zero problems showing my naked body to my husband. We never have sex in the full darkness anyway. 

I'll continue to watch what I eat and exercise to my full ability, which isn't much anymore. I can't push it anymore without going into increased pain for weeks at a time. I know my limits. Weight issues are always on my mind. I want to look good for myself and my husband.


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## CLucas976

When I left my husband I absolutely hated myself. He had said some nasty words just to dig at my self image and anxieties and they haunted me for a while.

I am terrified of obesity. I was doing good at 130lbs when I got married, then stress, drinking, and everything else brought me back up to 140lbs, and now I'm under 130lbs! :smthumbup:

I constantly critique my diet and what I'm eating/drinking. less than once a month I drink soda, I eat no breads, and just started eating a little more red meat. Occasionally I'll put some potato into my diet for the week, and I allow myself a little rice but otherwise it's strictly fruits, veggies, and meat.

I really do like how I'm starting to look. I dress better, feel better, and once I get to a comfortable point have exercise goals for myself to achieve. I can't fathom letting myself go more than I did. I am happy, still thinning out, healthier, and I feel so much better now that I've started forcing myself out of my bubble and making me take care of myself.

Hubs found me sexy then, and he finds me sexy now, but it's really all about how I feel about me.


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## Runs like Dog

Dunno. Walking around casually I've discovered "Grizzly Bear" is the new normal. I honestly do not know what people think normal is supposed to be. Men or women, both. If you're 5'6" the 50th percentile for a woman's weight maxes out at age 57 @ 155lbs. The higher in the ranking you climb the EARLIER in life you max out so the 95th percentile maxes at age 45 @ 235lbs (single race = Caucasian statistics). Black women are statistically much heavier e.g 50th percentile at age 53 @ 178lbs. But these are culturally bound numbers. In the UK, the 'average' woman is 5'4" and 147lbs or 16lbs lighter than the corresponding same height American woman.

Those to me, are frightening numbers. So if you think you're gaining weight, you probably are. And if you think you're the 'right' weight, you're probably not.


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## Kobo

Runs like Dog said:


> Dunno. Walking around casually I've discovered "Grizzly Bear" is the new normal. I honestly do not know what people think normal is supposed to be. Men or women, both. If you're 5'6" the 50th percentile for a woman's weight maxes out at age 57 @ 155lbs. The higher in the ranking you climb the EARLIER in life you max out so the 95th percentile maxes at age 45 @ 235lbs (single race = Caucasian statistics). Black women are statistically much heavier e.g 50th percentile at age 53 @ 178lbs. But these are culturally bound numbers. In the UK, the 'average' woman is 5'4" and 147lbs or 16lbs lighter than the corresponding same height American woman.
> 
> Those to me, are frightening numbers. So if you think you're gaining weight, you probably are. And if you think you're the 'right' weight, you're probably not.


I suggest getting a 5'10 woman (Like I like them). Then 155 ain't too bad at all.


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## Runs like Dog

5'10" in 5" heels and a viking helmet and spear.


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## L.M.COYL

I find obese women absolutely distasteful and unattractive. I don`t want to say that I loathe them but I can`t help thinking if they are that lazy to let themselves go physically, which other areas are they lazy with as well.

I take care of myself and feel that while fitness is only a part of the whole, it is largely independently controllable-why would you allow yourself to go to pot if all it takes is an hour a day, especially if you`re with someone, you want to honor yourself and them!


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## Jilted-canadian

MichelleBee said:


> How important is your woman's weight to you?


Not nearly as important as how she treats me...


MichelleBee said:


> Is a woman being overweight a total turn-off to you?


No. Her attitude would be though


MichelleBee said:


> What do you think of women who are overweight?


Meh...


MichelleBee said:


> Do *most* men feel the same about this issue?


Can't speak for other men...

The thing is, and other's have brought it up...

A woman's sex appeal is not related to dress size nearly as much as it is related to her attitude. 

I think it is more an issue for her than me.


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