# Need Some Advice!!...Staying in a loveless relationship for my kid is it worth it?



## Sweetz (Jan 2, 2012)

Okay...Sadly I don't even know where to start I've been in a relationship for 4 years with my boyfriend and we have a beautiful son together but now I am suffocating and going crazy. Everything was great between us until slowly he begin to change. My son wasn't planned but never a regretted decision to keep him but instead of keeping me comfortable and be there for me during my pregnancy he pretty much left me on my own about 80% of the time little things like I had to slept on the couch because i snore at the time so he can wake up for work, keep in mind i had to wake up for work also, just an example but i just always let it go we had little arguments here and their but its when i had my son thing got really bad 4 month after we separated and i was hurt and with a baby on my own it took a few months but i was finally getting back on my feet we weren't talking for a few months then slowly began talking again after 10 months being separated he i did miss him and he missed me also so we gave it another shot slowly everything was perfect again and i was happy but again he began to change for the worst. Its at a point now where i moved across the country with him for him to start a new job, but since I'm here he flat out told me he doesn't love me, he is only with me because of our son yet be barely pays any attention to my son i have to practically beg him to play with him, he was suppose to help me here also work together to start a new life here but he's left me completely alone i don't know anyone here except him i left all my family and friends back home to be with him, he verbally curses at me when something doesn't go he way it is pretty bad. I don't know what to do I know Im not happy but do i stay and wait it out, I left everything and gave up everything to be with him and this would be a second time i would have to go through this separation and i don't know to pick myself up after if I go through with it...really need some advice right now thankss for reading


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There is more info needed before a truely meaningful reply can be given.

How often does he curse you out? Does he yell? throw things? break things? Does he ever push, shove or hit you?

Do you have access to money... like through joint check & savings accounts?

Do you have a car to drive so that you can go out to do things?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

Your not married thats really what it is. I am not being helpful to you I know but I cant really see it going anywhere.


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## Sweetz (Jan 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> There is more info needed before a truely meaningful reply can be given.
> 
> How often does he curse you out? Does he yell? throw things? break things? Does he ever push, shove or hit you?
> 
> ...



There is a lot to write with him, but yes he curses me out never giving me a chance to talk to reply it assumes and jumps to his own conclusions he's thrown things not at me but on the floor never hit me but wont get out of my way when i want to get aways from him, i don;t have access to money nothing joint with us and he has a to cars a work truck and a personal car and he never lets me drive his car because he want nothing to happen to it we moved to a town that has to transportation except taxi and i have to make do on my own pretty much


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## Sweetz (Jan 2, 2012)

accept said:


> Your not married thats really what it is. I am not being helpful to you I know but I cant really see it going anywhere.


I've talked about marriage to him but he doesn't want it or just not with me...your right it isn't going nowhere it seems


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## staffml (Mar 8, 2012)

The advice I will give you is don't stay in a relationship that is loveless. I spent ten years in a loveless relationship. At first we were suppose to get married, after I moved in marlriage never happened and he just strung me along for what he wanted. I wasted ten years of my life (important years) thinking it would get better. I don't know the depth of your relationship but I know that you shouldn't raise your child in a home where arguements and throwing things are going to be normal for him. You child deserves better and so do you. Think about it good but do realize that time is everything and you know in your heart if it is going to work in the long run. After ten years of a loveless relationship that went from no very little intimacy to none then not even a kiss on the cheek, a hug or touch and yes I said for ten years. Anyway, when I finally said no more I'm worth more than this I learned many things about him that were far too horrible to say. Hope your not wasting more of your precious time. Hope this helps!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Short Answer - NO


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## ZacThomas (Mar 5, 2012)

From my vision of point you continue and struggle for your relationship. Have you considered couple counseling? It’s what saved my relationship when we went through a bad patch early on. Prior to the counseling we were living like roommates. We did manage to rebuild the love and will celebrate 20 years this summer.


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