# Wife and co worker half her age



## lee owl (Dec 18, 2011)

This time last year 1 of my wifes colleagues started coming out with our group on nights out.A couple weeks after alarm bells started ringing and on checking he facebook messages found some she'd sent to a friend saying she was ok while he away but when saw him that night couldnt help herself and another saying it was awkward being out with me and her bit on the side.I quizzed her and couldnt get anything from her so text mr lover boy who said it was just a quick kiss outside the bar.While i was on the phone to him she text him asking if she was wasting her time.he told me str8 away.She also didnt come home with me 1 night and stayed out and i found out she went back to his for an hour before going on to work.I've tried working at it but in march i bought her a car and said no way should he go in it.I then find out he went in the car 3 times on the 3rd she kissed him.since then i've tried hard with her but she kept talking about him alot.more to follow.


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## lee owl (Dec 18, 2011)

I've asked her not to keep talking about him to me as i find it upsetting.It was her birthday this week and she wanted friends from work to go out with us and said she wanted to invite mr loverboy as she thought it unfair to invite the others and not him.I said i dont care about his feelings as they crossed a line.In order to make more effort i agreed but the night was awful.1 of her workmates who's loose to say the least kept getting my wife and him up on the dancefloor and i was left alone alot.I felt like total sh*t.At 4am i said i'd had enough and said we should go home but she was having none of it.I just dont know what to do for the best.


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

She's for sure having sex with him already. Sorry man.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

I agree..there's more here than what you're being told. The one thing about cheaters is they will only admit to what you know. Therefore, she has no reason to tell you that she's been having sex with this guy, or else she loses her ability to cake eat. The security of a home and husband, and the "taboo" of being with someone outside her marriage.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

shazam said:


> She's for sure having sex with him already. Sorry man.


:iagree:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why do you even allow her to associate with him after you know she`s interested in him sexually?

I simply don`t understand.

Please don`t take this badly but I`m on this board a lot and guys like you come through here all the time wondering what they can do about their wifes relationship with another man.

It`s incredulous that they haven`t a clue.


SHE`S YOUR WIFE TELL HER TO STOP IT!!

If she won`t ...divorce her, it`s really that easy..yes, I said EASY.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Tacoma has it exactly right. Stop talking to her. You've seen that the only thing that does is make you appear weak. Either decide that you are willing to accept being cuckolded, or file for divorce. If you choose to file, there is a chance that she will choose to end her affair in order to keep you.

Good luck.


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## Romeo_Holden (Sep 17, 2011)

Sometimes i find it hard to believe that some men are willing to be cuckolded to this extent....she cheate don you you know about it and you are still there talking to her ...and she even wants to invite the guy out ? lol seems to me like you have an open relationship. She is taking advantage because she knows you are not going anywhere, as long as you let her take advantage then she will not stop all you are doing is making her respect you less.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She starts at the least emotionally cheating with this guy and you reward her by buying a new car? You sit at a party and watch her and lover boy dance the evening away while you watch. Are you kidding me???

If the roles were reversed do you honestly think your wife would be so accepting as you and buy you gifts? Her actions show she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

She continues these actions and because there are no consequences to her at all. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. She and him are playing you for a total fool. I am sorry but your acceptance of her behavior without consequences proves she is correct. Your inaction will prove fatal to your marriage.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

This guy kissed your wife and you STILL thought it was ok to have him come out with your group?

Wtf?!!!

Friend, you do have a pair, right?

Listen to the posters here. And get some self respect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I agree with Romeo Holden.

I don't understand what the question is here.

Are you saying you need help getting a divorce attorney? 

That and getting an STD test is all that you should be thinking about right now.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

What do you want to bet if Lee filed for divorce, and his wife went to the younger OM and said, "I'm getting a divorce, we don't have to hide this any longer", that he'd say:

"Whoa, I wanted a good time with you, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you!"


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## lee owl (Dec 18, 2011)

Thanks for the replys folks.My wife keeps telling me that i'm the one she wants and to look to the future and stop bringing up the past.I told her how can i do that when only 2 or 3 weeks ago she tried to put the loose girl from work off loverboy as she thought she was interested.i know this because i found a message to this girl saying she'd given him a lift to his mates and she also said she hated not being with him.I now know the lift didnt happen as our daughter was with her at the time,but the 2nd part of the message is what bothered me so i said if you dont have feelings for him it shouldnt matter who this guy see's and you should be more interested in making the marriage work.Then this last weekend her pressuring me in allowing him out with us.How the hell can i move forward when i have to put up with this crap is what i told her.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

She's testing how far she can push you. And you're slowly backing up. Stand up, tell her no contact at all or she can have him and you leave her.

She cannot have him in her life and want to be with you, end of discussion. If she balks, kick her to the curb and let loverboy pay her bills, feed her, etc... I'm pretty sure once he has to start help support her, things won't look so pretty anymore.

Stop whining and start taking action to help and protect yourself.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

lee owl said:


> Thanks for the replys folks.My wife keeps telling me that i'm the one she wants and to look to the future and stop bringing up the past.I told her how can i do that when only 2 or 3 weeks ago she tried to put the loose girl from work off loverboy as she thought she was interested.i know this because i found a message to this girl saying she'd given him a lift to his mates and she also said she hated not being with him.I now know the lift didnt happen as our daughter was with her at the time,but the 2nd part of the message is what bothered me so i said if you dont have feelings for him it shouldnt matter who this guy see's and you should be more interested in making the marriage work.Then this last weekend her pressuring me in allowing him out with us.How the hell can i move forward when i have to put up with this crap is what i told her.


Your wife s lying. How you deal with it is to tell her that you will only consider actions not her words.

Clearly the OM has got to go. Anything less is you permitting the affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Yeah, look to the future. But just to be safe, buy a helmet.

when you trip over that big lump under the rug, you dont want to split your head wide open.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

lee owl said:


> 1of her workmates who's loose to say the least kept getting my wife and him up on the dancefloor and i was left alone alot.I felt like total sh*t.At 4am i said i'd had enough and said we should go home but she was having none of it.I just dont know what to do for the best.


I don't even know what this MEANS. Is it possible that this really happened? She's pushing the two lovebirds together with the husband sitting right there? His wife and her plaything partyiing right in front of him? Am I reading that correctly?

All of her workmates know what is going on and he's just sitting there alone? I don't know whether to cry, barf or punch a wall.


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

lee owl said:


> Thanks for the replys folks.My wife keeps telling me that i'm the one *she wants and to look to the future and stop bringing up the past.*I told her how can i do that when only 2 or 3 weeks ago she tried to put the loose girl from work off loverboy as she thought she was interested.i know this because i found a message to this girl saying she'd given him a lift to his mates and she also said she hated not being with him.I now know the lift didnt happen as our daughter was with her at the time,but the 2nd part of the message is what bothered me so i said if you dont have feelings for him it shouldnt matter who this guy see's and you should be more interested in making the marriage work.Then this last weekend her pressuring me in allowing him out with us.How the hell can i move forward when i have to put up with this crap is what i told her.


My exh used this line quite often, I would explain to him that it is not the past when it is currently happening. Two weeks is hardly long enough to consider it the "past" and just last week she was actively pursuing this guy by having him join you on outings. She is also discouraging other younger women from developing interests in him? I'm sorry, but there is a lot more to this story than you have been told. After all this has been going on for over a year now.

So what have you done other than buy her a new car? VAR, GPS, keylogger, requested a detailed text log showing all conversations between these numbers? Have you guys set up IC for her and MC?

She is rug sweeping, she wants this all to go away so she can get back to her "bit on the side". Right now you are at a cross roads, keep going the way you are going and live in an open relationship with your wife and this guy, or put your foot down, man up and tell her it's all in or all out. If she stays she adheres to all NC sending him a letter, quitting her job since she works with him. Demand a polygraph, mostly for her reaction. This is your marriage too, right now you are just a bystander buying her stuff and supporting her while she screws around, why the hell wouldn't she choose you?

Give yourself a Christmas gift, one of peace, get rid of her if she isn't willing to do any and everything you ask. 

Good luck, it sounds like you are going to need it with her.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Why are being subservient to your wifes emotional affair with this guy? 4Am? She would have found the doors locked. You're the only one that can stop it. How? Well try cutting off the purse strings. Don't give her no money. You told her that she wasn't to drive the POSOM in her new car. And what was the consequence. I am sure you heard Carrie Underwood "maybe next time". Well that's what you should have done. Or. How about taking the keys away from her. Nope her consequence was........nothing. So she continues to cuckold you with this guy.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

lee owl said:


> How the hell can i move forward when i have to put up with this crap is what i told her.


My god! Are you STILL talking?! - YouTube

Actions count. Not words. She's ignoring your words. And she should. You can complain until the cows come home. If you're still allowing her to have her affair, then that's all that counts.

You have two choices.

Be a cuckold.
File for divorce.
Pick one.


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