# Jumping from a long-term relationship into a marriage with another man...



## ruined (May 14, 2009)

A close friend of mine just got out of a 4 year relationship. The both of them were adorable and the talk of the town but no one really knows why the split happened. She immediately was introduced to another guy to help get over her ex, and 2 1/2 months later, got engaged to him. They are to marry a few months from now.

The 4 year relationship was THE first relationship she had ever been in. I don't know about the stranger, but she comes from a divorced family, but is a Christian southern bell. Given the situation, what are the odds that my friend (the girl) and this 'stranger' will work out? What do statistics say?


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

dunno about this one...
my grandparents met and within one week married. They were happily married over 50 years... so

I am not one to think it matters so much length of time you know someone....maybe it matters how well the individuals know themselves? 
My grandparents were 19 and 20 when they married... and they were one of the few couples who were actually happily married the entire time they were married, until he died at about age 70.
so.......
it depends on some things, the largest may be how well the people know themselves, what they want, how well they have communicated their hopes and desires... how capable they are.. etc.
It's just not so cut and dry.


----------



## ruined (May 14, 2009)

preso said:


> dunno about this one...
> my grandparents met and within one week married. They were happily married over 50 years... so
> 
> I am not one to think it matters so much length of time you know someone....maybe it matters how well the individuals know themselves?
> ...


Yeah, but this day and age? Especially with her jumping out of a relationship where she was crazy in love. I figured the rebound effect would happen, but she seems to be jumping head first into this.


----------



## justean (May 28, 2008)

do stats matter if they work. not everything from one relationship to another is a rebound. let ppl think what they like. if to ppl enjoy eachother company - who is n e body else to judge.


----------



## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Odds are stacked against them. Are you sure you aren't talking about yourself?? I'm concerned for the other party in this situation. If I came across someone who was out of a long term relationship and wanted to get engaged this quickly that would be a red flag for me. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Except the old joke of death and taxes. Entering into marriage should not be taken lightly or quickly. Maybe some pre-marital councelling is in order. Might help them.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Is she pregnant?


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

ruined said:


> Yeah, but this day and age? Especially with her jumping out of a relationship where she was crazy in love. I figured the rebound effect would happen, but she seems to be jumping head first into this.


One just never knows about these things....

I lived with someone for nearly a decade ( miserable too) and then after we broke up a man showed up 
and its awesome, nothing like the old relationship. I was crazy in love too in the decade long relationship but walked awy due to differences I did not feel would allow us to contuniue, namely he was too controlling...
but then I walked away and met someone else and right away...
and this relationship ( a marriage) is far better than the old relationship.

so..... you just never know

heck I have enough to worry about in my own life than speculate on other peoples choices.


----------

