# Anniversary gift/card???



## voivod

we are not real close to reconciliation, though we are very civil. i think there is real hope. so here i am, about a day out from our 15th wedding anniversary (we've been together since 1988) and i am truly in love. i would hate to let the day go by without acknowledging it. should i send a card? more?

fyi-i am not under some delusion that she will send a card. i'm pretty well set on her sending me a nice msg on the phone. she's playing cold fish.


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## Feelingalone

V,

Do what is in your heart. You can't go wrong that way. Like you said you don't expect anything from her, so do what you want. 

Did you have the "talk" with Beth?


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## voivod

Feelingalone said:


> V,
> 
> Do what is in your heart. You can't go wrong that way. Like you said you don't expect anything from her, so do what you want.
> 
> Did you have the "talk" with Beth?


i did what was in my heart. i found the most amazing card. in it i wrote what was in my heart, stuff about the day we met (yes, i remember) the day we were married (best day of my life, honest to God), and i swear i think she was taken aback. i didn't hear much from her til today, when she said "come over, if you want." heck yes, i want. stayed until midnight, great conversation. beth actually apologized to me for being "short" (she was a little testy, but nothing she ever would have apologized for before) and there was a little moment when she had to go to bed that was uneasy. awkward, kinda like i wanted to invite myself to stay. maybe someday. for now, i'll sleep well tonight and continue to take charge of my life tomorrow.

FA--"the talk" is part of the "take charge of my life" stuff. i have an ally, someone who's got my back if the s#!t hits the fan. "the talk" is imminent. understand, i was waaay forward with my rather smootchy lovey dovey over the top anniversary card. i expected it might blow up because i was so forward.


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## Feelingalone

Glad to hear you did what was in your heart V. The brain sometimes gets in the way. But it didn't blow up.


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## TOya82

Yes, send her a card sometimes us women need that even though we are acting cold hearted but it is the little thigns that count. Just like you think about this date she is too.
I hope I help


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## voivod

TOya82 said:


> Yes, send her a card sometimes us women need that even though we are acting cold hearted but it is the little thigns that count. Just like you think about this date she is too.
> I hope I help


y'know, i kinda needed to hear that. she does think about the date too, doesn't she? i mean, how could she not? there was a day that she freaking _worshipped_ me, no kidding. just last night, i reached a point in my thought process..."how the hell did i "f" this up? how in the world did i let this get away?"


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## Feelingalone

V, we all have those thoughts I imagine - I know I do. I think lifes twists and turns do it to us without us even realizing it. Its not right, its not wrong, it just is.


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## jessi

I always just go with what feels right to me, that way no regret, we all want to feel important to our spouse even when times aren't perfect, it gives us hope......that's a good thing....


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## voivod

jessi said:


> I always just go with what feels right to me, that way no regret, we all want to feel important to our spouse even when times aren't perfect, it gives us hope......that's a good thing....


i'm stuck in this zone where i'm afraid the wrong move will *boom* blow up in my face. things have been less than perfect as of late. but she's an idiot if she doesn't feel love from me.


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## voivod

that wrong move came, in the form of jealousy (as beth sees it, i'm sure). beth's assistant soccer coach (male) showed up at the choir performance of my 11 yr old daughter at the christmas tree lighting ceremony (along with half of our town) and i started questioning. sh*t, why can't i let go of that stupid part of my broken personality.

beth has backed waaaay back from that comfortable place where we were. i felt relatively comfortable with where we were and where we were going. not now. it's gonna be a hell of a long ride back. if i can even get there.


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