# Its My Turn to cheat..?



## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

So, IM wondering if that's a normal feeling people get after feeling betrayed by their spouse? It never once crossed my mind to cheat on my husband..or even a boyfriend for that matter. But after being told that in a "drunken haze" he kissed and groped a woman in her room..it made me kind of angry. I am starting to feel like I owe him nothing. I put my life on hold, so he could pursue his career in the military. And that's what I get. Is this normal? Im not saying this is something IM seriously considering..but, is there anyone else out there who could relate to this.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

I can relate because I did it. I found she had cheated on me and I did it back. Doesn't solve anything.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Yea..IM def a believer in "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". But what do I do then? If I do go out..do I wear my ring..and ignore engaging in conversations with men? Do I still be dedicated to only him..even though he could do something like that. I dunno..this is all way to confusing. Im not saying Im gonna put myself out there and look for it..but I would never even talk to a guy who approached me for more than a second because I thought it was wrong and look where it got me.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What do you want? To stay married to him or not? Answer that. In my marriage we both cheated. Not worth it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I wouldn't.

He made the mistake. You doing the same thing won't help or make things right.

Just move forward from here and decide what you want to do.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Thanks, you guys are right. Spiting him would only compromise my integrity in the end. I just hope all these emotions level off soon, so I can figure out how to move on..with or without him.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

yeah Nikki, take the high road, for your own benefit.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Nikki,
i had those same feeling when I was betrayed. You feel like they got to test the water and you didn't. 
The fact is you will for sure go through alot more emotion before this even begans to heal.
What you are feeling is typical, God only knows what the next feeling you will have.

For me, before the revenge emation came I had this "claiming" emotion were I had to have sex with my WW all the time.

After the "revenge" emotion pasted it "compitition" this competitive emotion had me working out and wearing new cologne.

Granted this competive emotion turned into "self improvement" for me and I stuck with it.

Point is girl you will have all kinds of emotions some will pass just like the revenge that you resently felt, other are soon to come so be prepared for the emeotional rollercoaster ride of infidelity.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Wow..exactly. The day after I found out about it..I went and bought myself new clothes..to wear around him for when he comes home. I was planning a night out the the City..for just me and him-no kids allowed. Youd think I was the one who did something wrong. But in between Ive wanted to pack all his clothes and give them to the Goodwill, and basically fax over divorce papers to his chain of command. I feel like a helpless emotional train wreck. Def stinks.


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## newlife94 (Aug 11, 2011)

Nikki.....I know exactly what you mean. The roller coaster- but I always kept this in mind- he is out of control, thinks he is in control and is in the fog. ONE of us had to be the adult, in control and have the upper hand and take the high road. I have left him in the dust because he was so out of it that he messed up, left a trail and didn't cover his tracks. He mis- spoke, got caught up in lies and looks like the fool that he is. If I had made his mistake along side him....where would that leave me? 
I have remained level headed, in control of myself and my emotions.....not to say it is not a roller coaster or that I don't have feel sorry for myself days- but I guarantee my recovery from this will be way more healthy and full filling than his.

Just something to keep in mind. Take care of yourself, you deserve it!


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

thanks newlife...I guess the hard thing is every time I think I know what I want..it changes. I talk to him more than ever now..I want to support him, through what he's going through over there..but sometimes I cant hold back and lash out at him. I know everyone deserves a second chance..and what he did was wrong..I just dont know If Id be able to be happy with either decision Im debating. I guess I have to let time be the judge of that. Thanks again for your encouragement!


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

If you have mutual ground that you can be with other people..it def isnt cheating. Me and my husband were looking to get at that point somewhere in the future, seeing how much we both enjoy sex and realize its more than just an intimate connection between two people.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Nikki1023 said:


> So, IM wondering if that's a normal feeling people get after feeling betrayed by their spouse? It never once crossed my mind to cheat on my husband..or even a boyfriend for that matter. .


Dgtal..guess you didnt read the first 2 sentences of my thread before you decided to blindly attack me. By talking to people who actually did, Im realizing its a normal stage of coping. I made it perfectly clear I had no intentions of doing this..and was wondering if resentment brought this feeling out. Ill leave you with this:

" treat people how you want to be treated, not the way they treat you"
"an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"

The next time you attack someone, read what theyre writing.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Ama said:


> i personally don't like to cheat anyone on this. my bf knows that i give bj to some closest guys who tries out my products. it's not a cheat.


Whew!! that only makes you skank, and not a cheater. And it makes your boyfriend a cuckold. Look it up you seem to be somewhat mentally challenged.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Try to look at it this way. Your marriage is a living breathing being. It has to be protected, fed and nurtured.  Your husband neglected the welfare of your marriage. So that leaves protecting it up to you. The decision is yours. Do you want to sicken your marriage more by cheating on your husband? Or do you stay and re-educate your husband on the care and feeding of a good marriage. Its all up to you.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Yeah, like I said..never have cheated, and never had the intentions of ever cheating. The fact that a feeling like that came in mind, because of the overload of resentment I had towards him, really upset me. I wanted to see if there were other people who felt the same way,and it seems like its actually kind of normal to feel that way. I would never want to do anything to ruin my own integrity..seeing how I have to look at myself in the mirror everyday and know what exceptable behavior is for my own self. I know thats a alot of rambling..hopeful it makes sense. I feel schizo.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

The title was to "throw it out there"- the way I was feeling. And it worked..I got advice from people who understood where I was coming from. You were the only person who didn't read what I meant. You didnt cause me any pain, if anything you showed how people like to type away and judge, without understanding where someone is coming from. Which if I remember correctly, is something you shouldnt do when your a member of a site used to support people and what they are going through.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Nikki1023 said:


> The title was to "throw it out there"- the way I was feeling. And it worked..I got advice from people who understood where I was coming from. You were the only person who didn't read what I meant. You didnt cause me any pain, if anything you showed how people like to type away and judge, without understanding where someone is coming from. Which if I remember correctly, is something you shouldnt do when your a member of a site used to support people and what they are going through.


It's normal I would say to feel like "getting back" at the person that hurt you. Glad to see that you will take the high road. As I stated it doesn't solve anything and didn't make me feel better. Good luck.


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