# How scary and hard is it?



## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Another fight.
Another. Fight.
Husband declared he is done, wants out. Left and went to a hotel. 
Announced he is canceling the two parties we have planned to celebrate our wedding (which was only 4 months ago) with people who couldn't come to the wedding over the summer.
Blamed me 100%. My "issues." 
Obviously I know it's malarkey to believe it is all my fault. So I don't.
But still, if this ends...
Oh dear God, how much is it going to hurt? How scary is it going to be? 
I feel shame that this is happening only 4 months into a marriage.


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## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

The first few months of marriage can be really tough. It's an adjustment period where people find their 'roles' and define new boundaries. How long did you really know each other before marriage?

He might not actually go through with separating, and might be 'talking' about it right now. If you DO want it to work out, back off from the fighting that is making him want to walk out. Give him a chance to breathe. Give it time. Find ways to show him you care, regret, and love. 

If you two get talking calmly. Offer hugs. Ask if he wants to find a way to make it work for you two. Tell him you do. Go to marriage counseling regularly.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Oh God. We're in counseling already.
He's going to freeze me out, I can feel it coming on.
I've done nothing but try try try.
He doesn't want to try anything anymore.
Neither his love nor commitment to me is stronger than his desire to get out and be alone to live alone and never be close enough to someone to have to be nice to them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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