# What did you do with mementos?



## proudwidaddy

Hey Guys,
So I've been cleaning out of the closet of some of the shirts, etc that the stbxw has gotten me over the last 11 years. I don't want those memories. I came across a box of love letters and cards she gave to me.

I was wondering what other people did with the mementos from their now defunct marriage?


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## that_girl

From my ex, I saved some things for our daughter when she's older.

They're in a box in the garage but someday she'll appreciate them. I know I appreciated seeing things from my parents even though they were divorced.

Clothes and the such, i would just give away.


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## Amplexor

If you put them in diet soda, they'll shoot up like a geyser. Oops, sorry, misread. Dammed dyslexia.


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## SRN

I put everything in a cardboard box, taped it up really well and then shrink wrapped it. Then I took it up to my grandmothers house a few towns away and put it in the attic. One day, probably many years from now, I will be tasked with cleaning the house out and I will come across it again.
That will be an interesting day.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

Amplexor said:


> If you put them in diet soda, they'll shoot up like a geyser. Oops, sorry, misread. Dammed dyslexia.


thats what i thought it said at first too


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## bandit.45

Put the love letters in an unmarked manilla envelope and leave them on the porch at your wife's house. This will send a good message to her that you want no memories of her.

Take the shirts to Goodwill.


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## solitudeseeker

I saved some things for our daughter - the wedding album, photos of the three of us together as a family, and of her with her dad.

I got rid of all other photos of my husband and me, and tossed out his letters and cards. I also got rid of my wedding ring. I want no reminders of that man, and I am not a sentimental person who will regret tossing that stuff. I'm committed to closing the door.


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## cryin

I threw everything in the garbage, wedding pictures and all. None of what she wrote was ever real. If it was then I wouldn't now be divorced and been treated like a piece of trash.


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## Jellybeans

Some of mine are in storage. Some are ... around. And some I tossed.


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## Lon

Last week I found a stash of old love notes my ex wrote and I had kept. I read a couple of them, they did nothing for me. I tossed them in the trash.


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## cone

All trashed .... all became invalid when she cheated ...


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## Dollystanford

chucked them all - I'm the least sentimental person in the world
I plan to sell the rings, there is one diamond necklace he bought me that I really like and is a bespoke piece from Hatton Garden. I'm d*ckering over what to do with that one
wedding photos - going
in fact I plan to erase him totally from my life - I've given myself a goal of the end of the year but might 'bring it forward'

I'm in a bad mood today


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## Mrlonelyhearts

While my kids were over for our weekend visit, we went through the pictures. I gave my kids all the pictures of them with their mother. I put them all in a shoebox. All the old letters got tossed. Still have to do something with my wedding band and her wedding band. Don't know why I waited so long. I think this thread inspired me to do something with that.


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## Lordhavok

found a box of love letters from my ex wife, I burned them. All of that crap did'nt mean anything. Hell, she should've sent the engagement ring I paid 2500, could have bought a ak47 or a boat and motor.


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## nice777guy

I still have the "Family Portrait" we had taken a year ago up in the Living Room. There's also this curved glass picture frame that has some romantic BS about love etched on it with a pic of us on our wedding day that somehow ended up on top of the entertainment center.

I've read / heard that its kind of good to keep these things up - just for the kids. I really don't notice them much.

Plus - the glass frame thing - kind of pretty. Maybe I could just find a different pic to put in it. I have a Bill Cowher autographed picture somewhere...

And the Family Portrait - those things are expensive! Almost hate to take it down just because of what we paid! Aaaannnndddd....Ex had asked them to do some touch up work on her chin(s) that they forgot to do. She didn't like the pic so much!

Just need to remember to take these things down if I ever have company coming over...


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## DTO

nice777guy said:


> And the Family Portrait - those things are expensive! Almost hate to take it down just because of what we paid!


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## Wildflower3

Wedding proofs, he has them. Wedding album, on a shelf in my closet. Wedding pictures strewn about the house? Taken down and replaced with pictures of the kids, me and the kids, him and the kids. Only a couple of professional pictures up of us and our first. 

Cards? I came across them as I was cleaning out a filing cabinet. Tossed. I realized that his confession about NEVER loving me over our 15 year relationship made all those cards and words written in them null and void. 

Jewelry? Engagement and wedding rings and many other pieces in a bathroom drawer. Waiting for the right time to sell them.


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## remmons

Boxed them and storing them in my storage room.


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## julia71

Sold one ring to a friend that owns a jewelry store. Guess I might take my wedding band, engagement ring, other rings he bought me over to my friend too. None of them are worth all that much, but $$ is $$ right? 

I need to go through the other stuff. Kinda just haven't bothered. I'll likely just trash it all. I don't know why the kids would want it. Wedding pics.... I THINK I might have an album of those, I know he still has some. I don't really want them. I could care less what he does with what he has. He got the house, so he has most of the crap. So, it's mostly his problem.


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## Almostrecovered

I like to throw them in diet coke and watch the bottle fizz high into the air


oh, wait you said mementos, not mentos


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## In_The_Wind

Tossed them out except i gave pictures to daughter so she could have them


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## remmons

nice777guy said:


> I still have the "Family Portrait" we had taken a year ago up in the Living Room.


My five year old daughter comes over to my house every other weekend for our visits, and she had mentioned to me that the family portrait that was taken of us four years ago is still hanging on the wall.:scratchhead:


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## Shaggy

Well they could be used in an evil voodoo ceremony.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

Shaggy said:


> Well they could be used in an evil voodoo ceremony.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol!!!

When my marriage was falling apart I would "entertain" myself by googling things like "how to make a voodoo doll" and leaving the screen up on the computer!

The only thing she ever asked me about was when I put "apply for gun permit" at the top of my "To Do" list!!!


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## LonelyNLost

This is a dilemma of mine, as well. I boxed up all the love letters and cards, along with our wedding photos and negatives, the albums, pics of us dating, etc and they're in a trashbag ready to go out with the trash. But then I wonder if I should at least keep my wedding photos for my kids to see? I don't think there's much need for the love letters/cards, or even our handwritten vows. But what about the wedding/shower video? Honeymoon? All the family vacation photos and family portraits? I think I'm going to box them up for the kids and store them.


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## angelpixie

I have everything in a rubbermaid tub in the garage. Like that_girl, even though my parents later divorced, my brother and I liked to have them, especially after my mom passed 2 years ago. 

Because I know that ex has a diagnosis of true mental illness, I have gotten to the point that I do believe he did love me at one time, in the way he could. So, the earliest love letters, etc., are almost a cautionary tale. I know he's not going to be the good example of a man for our son that I'd hoped he'd be, so I'm going to have to subtly show and tell him as he gets older that a relationship takes constant work. Looking at the mementos and seeing how it turned out anyway should be a good 'visual aid.'

And, I admit, as long as both of us are still alive, there's always a chance at a miracle and I'd feel horrible if I'd destroyed everything. I asked him to give me back the gifts I'd made him (hand-knit sweaters, etc.) to give to DS when he gets older.


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## lamaga

I guess I'm alone in this, but I kept a small stash of selected mementos -- it was my life, it was my history, and just because it didn't work out is no reason to erase it. But then, I am sentimental.


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## LonelyNLost

lamaga said:


> I guess I'm alone in this, but I kept a small stash of selected mementos -- it was my life, it was my history, and just because it didn't work out is no reason to erase it. But then, I am sentimental.


This is the position that my current boyfriend and his best friend share, and both are male and neither have children, which surprised me. The past marriage/relationship took up 10 years of their lives, so why pretend it didn't exist? I agree to an extent.

And I do feel like my ex did love me dearly and still does love me, but it's different. He did what he did separate from that. And I don't love him because of how he betrayed me and who he is to me now. But the kids should be able to see that history.


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## remmons

I feel the same as others here who are holding on to the mementos, because of their kids, or because that was a part of their lives that was important to them. I sometimes think about tossing things into a fire, but then I get to thinking of my daughter and realize that she is a part of the equation as well. She needs, and has the right, to know that her mother and I WERE happy in our lives at one time. Later on in her life, when she reaches the age of understanding, she is going to have questions. My box of memories will be there available for her, and she will have a more complete picture painted of how things came to be.


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