# What to do?



## Nighthawk (Jun 17, 2009)

I've been married for 15 years and have one child, a 13 year old son. My wife has battled several diagnosis's since pretty early in our marriage. The diagnosis's include rapid cycling bi polar, PTSD, depression, agoraphobia, and anxiety. At one time she had a psychologist that she saw on a regular basis, but has not seen anybody for about 5 years. The problem is that as of the first of April, my wife quit her job and applied for disability. She no longer works at all, and rarely leaves the house because of her anxiety attacks, and her recent weight gain. She also refuse's to see a doctor. She claims she is not depressed, and according to her, she has gotten all she can from talk therapy. Her therapy history is one doctor that she talked to weekly for less than a year, and then only when she needed med refilled. I try to be supportive, but its difficult when a spouse won't do anything to help themselves. Does anybody have any suggestions for how I can help her help herself?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

the only person that can help her, is herself and she obviously doesnt have focus. im not saying communicatin doesnt help it does. but i think to much thought goes into straightaway, go and see a counsellor or therapist - most of these ppl got their own problems and they get paid saying exactly the same thing to the majority of ppl. she is probably so fed up of being told and it stil doesnt work. believe her when she says shes had enough.
my suggestion , keep talking to her. ask her what she wants and how you can help. give her space and leave of the pressure for a little.
the trouble with all this is your going to keep being unhappy in this relationship. so remind her how it makes you feel.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Her brain chemistry is unbalanced. What she needs to do is either try and get the money together to see a PSYCHIATRIST (not a non MD therapist) just once in order to get case evaluted and be prescribed the proper medications. She may then want to go again for a followup a month or two later. So that's two visits, probably running around $150.oo each.

Many towns and cities also have public mental health facilities where she may be able to see a psychiatrist for a much lower fee.


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## Nighthawk (Jun 17, 2009)

Mr. B, she is already taking 5 medications prescribed by a psychiatrist several years ago. We have medical insurance, so the cost of doctors visits are not an issue, we only need to pay a copay, it's her unwillingness to see a Dr. that I find frustrating. She takes her meds daily, but they do not seem to be very helpful except for keeping her moods fairly stable. The meds seem to be helping the symptoms of her diagnosis, but nothing is being done to address/deal with the causes.


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## cartomany (Jun 23, 2009)

sometimes the meds are the problem. Talk the doctors if its possible to reduce the number of meds she taking. It's not a good idea to get anyone over-dependant on Meds especially one that controls the emotions.

Once you reduce or even get her off the meds, things will be tougher as she will want her meds back. You must be her pillar. 

After awhile you will start to see some improvement but keep a tab on her so that she won't try to get more meds behind your back.


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