# A small point on referring to the kids



## involedfather (Jan 13, 2012)

Pretty simple issue here, not a big deal but just wanted some of your thoughts.

I have a blended family, 3 from my previous marriage, 2 from hers. The 2 are with us full time and we have 50/50 on the 3. We (wife and I) have taken to the habit of referring to the 3 as the <last name here> kids. In a month or so I'll have completed adoption of the 2 from her prior marriage so then they'll legally be <last name here> kids as well. Regardless, I don't like the delineation that creates in the family and have been trying to think of a new term for when we refer to the 3 or the 2. Because of scheduling and the difference in custody there's a great tendency (even among themselves) to refer to each other by this name. I've thought of ideas like 'Red team', 'Blue team' or something of that nature but nothing I've come up with seems to stick.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experience on what you did to help with this? Maybe I just flat out shouldn't worry about it?

Thanks!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

How about you refer to them by their first names?

Today you say "The Hossenfeffer Kids wiill be staying with us this weekend"

Instead say "Hansel, Gretel and Red will be staying with us this weekend"

I think it's worth the slight effort it takes to estabish this habit based on the concerns you raise.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Hicks said:


> How about you refer to them by their first names?
> 
> Today you say "The Hossenfeffer Kids wiill be staying with us this weekend"
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## specwar (Apr 14, 2011)

Remember that humans in general want to think of themselves as special. Group identification is one way to do that. If you want to be unified (together in the same group) then you must get rid of alternate delineation. Our differences among each other is what makes the whole team stronger. A name is a collection of letters and is no real difference. You are one family and on the same team. To segregate somebody of the family will only cause trouble.


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