# I�m no longer physically attracted



## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

*I’m no longer physically attracted*

Wife and i have been married since 2010. We have several children between ages 2-6. She is a GREAT mother. We both work full time jobs. 

My wife is not attractive to me anymore. It’s her face. She is aging rapidly , wrinkles are severe, skin is red and looks like acne, her nose has significantly increased in size and is bright red.
Her mustache is evident. Her breath smells terrible. She’s always farting. She has muffin top. Her ears are getting bigger. Her feet look terrible. 

I am ashamed to write this but I can’t stop staring at her face and comparing it to photos from 3 years ago. 

What would make a women’s face age like this?
She does drink a bit more and occasionally smoke cigarettes. So I’m assuming it’s stress of kids, work and alcohol/cigarettes that have made her appear this way. 

I obviously can’t post photos but it’s drastic when you see a 2014 photo and a current. 

I cannot have sex with her. It’s like trying to have sex with a man at this point.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Don't forget to add that you're 100% afraid of confronting her.

My point is, nothing will change potentially unless you say something.

And yes, drinking and smoking ages you. She could also be lacking youthful genetics. There are many reasons but they won't mean a thing if you don't confront the issue.

How old is she? We all age... Some not as gracefully as others. That's life.


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## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

Satya said:


> Don't forget to add that you're 100% afraid of confronting her.
> 
> My point is, nothing will change potentially unless you say something.
> 
> ...


You managed to find one of my deep problems. I have no way to tell her. Her self esteem has always been low. I’ve read that telling her how I feel regarding her physical appearance, especially face, is down right too low and too harsh. Might cause major mental problems. 

She is mid 30s. She is beginning to resemble her father. I am too resembling my father but as a man that’s expected. My wife has that unusual genetic makeup where she resembled dad more than mom. 

Btw I feel terrible even typing this anonymously but I’m literally depressed.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Is this for real? Surely this is a joke? Sorry but no one changes that much in only 3 years. Or even 7 years since you married. A nose does not increase in size and nor do our ears get bigger. Mine have stayed the same size all my adult life. We all get wrinkles but we don't suddenly get that many in only 3 years, nor do our feet change that much in a few years. 

How old are you both? Do her parents have bad skin? More wrinkles than is normal for their age?

Smoking is bad for the skin but you said she only smokes occasionally. How much does she drink? Having 'several' kids between 2 and 6(presumably you mean 3?) and working full time is very stressful for anyone. Who cares for them when you are both at work? Can she maybe work part time till they are older?
The thing is that we all age. We all get wrinkles and go grey/bald, maybe put on a little weight. That's life, but it just don't believe its happened that fast. She is the same lady you married so very recently. She must have looked more like her dads side of the family then as well? Maybe its you that has changed? How you see her? Have you got your eye on anyone else? DO you compare her to other women you know or maybe women in porn?


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## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Is this for real? Surely this is a joke? Sorry but no one changes that much in only 3 years. Or even 7 years since you married. A nose does not increase in size and nor do our ears get bigger. Mine have stayed the same size all my adult life. We all get wrinkles but we don't suddenly get that many in only 3 years, nor do our feet change that much in a few years.
> 
> How old are you both? Do her parents have bad skin? More wrinkles than is normal for their age?
> 
> ...



Not a joke. I feel terrible just describing these things. 

She HAS changed that much and she acknowleges some of it. 

I don’t want to leave her but how can a Husband avoid sex and emotion this long and continue. I’m hurting her more importantly. 

I literally cannot find a forum that has a post like mine. Anyone ever lost physical attraction severely like this ?


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

So severely? I'm sure others have. 

However, based on your words and your posts, I'm willing to guess there's more going on with you and her than just her deteriorating looks.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

She may be developing some disease that increases her androgen levels.

1) Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is the most common cause of hirsutism. The growth of thick female facial and body hair occurs due to the increased production of androgens by the ovaries. Multiple cysts are usually detected on the ovaries, either one sided or on both sides and other symptoms may include obesity, irregular menstrual cycle, menstrual and lower abdominal pain, impaired glucose tolerance, premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and infertility.

2) Adrenal disorders may cause the adrenal cortex to increase its production of androgens (male sex hormones). These disorders include adrenal tumors, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, Addison’s disease or Cushing’s syndrome.

I remember reading about a genetic disorder that causes this appearance change. It had a name that slips my memory at the moment. I will do some research.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

She needs to see an Internal Medicine doctor/chemist.
The doctor needs to run a battery of blood tests on her.
Especially thyroid hormones. TSH testing

Check for hypothyroidism, especially for Myxedema. She is rather young for this disorder.
She has food allergies for sure. Maybe dairy, that is a common one. Hypothyroidism affects metabolism, especially of carbohydrates.

Get er' checked out.
This likely is NOT her fault.

Show compassion !!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Often, one disease disorder affects other systems and cause many seemingly unrelated symptoms.


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## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> She may be developing some disease that increases her androgen levels.
> 
> 1) Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is the most common cause of hirsutism. The growth of thick female facial and body hair occurs due to the increased production of androgens by the ovaries. Multiple cysts are usually detected on the ovaries, either one sided or on both sides and other symptoms may include obesity, irregular menstrual cycle, menstrual and lower abdominal pain, impaired glucose tolerance, premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and infertility.
> 
> ...


She definitively has ovarian cysts and exactly what you listed at 1. PCOS

I myself have celiac and dairy intolerance. MY physical appearance drastically changed when I was diagnosed and changed my lifestyle, eating habits. 

With the several approaches to medical conditions that you all have mentioned, I fully agree it’s a food intolerance of some sort. 

Bright red oily skin, bright red oil chin, heavy eyelids. I suffer from these when I eat poorly. 

I feel like at this point I’m only going to be called a shallow ******* and might not get much more advice or support from this forum. I understand how someone could make that opinion of me. 

I’m no Brad Pitt but I don’t appear unhealthy and I take pride in my appearance. I would acknowledge my spouses opinion of me in terms of appearance and sex appeal.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Wife and i have been married since 2010. We have several children between ages 2-6. She is a GREAT mother. We both work full time jobs.
> 
> My wife is not attractive to me anymore. It’s her face. She is aging rapidly , wrinkles are severe, skin is red and looks like acne, her nose has significantly increased in size and is bright red.
> Her mustache is evident. Her breath smells terrible. She’s always farting. She has muffin top. Her ears are getting bigger. Her feet look terrible.
> ...


Hmmm...I have heard women turning into werewolves shortly after the in love hormones wear off...but this seems a bit extreme.

Her penis still looks ok though?

Not really sure what to advise; get different glasses for yourself?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Stop wearing high powered reading glasses when you're close to her!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Plenty of women favor their father's side of the family. That doesn't mean she has some "unusual genetic makeup". Plenty of men also favor their mother's side of the family. Children are not guaranteed to look more like the parent with whom they share a gender. 

That said, it sounds likely that your wife is suffering from some sort of disorder or disease - Cushing's, Hashimoto's, uncontrolled PCOS, something. So, your wife is, essentially, sick. Has she addressed this with her doctors? Has she seen a specialist? Have you talked to her about it and encouraged her to pursue a medical explanation? A good endocrinologist might be a great place to start. 

In the meantime, make sure your wife has the time and energy to take care of herself and her looks. Start by you keeping those "several" young children for a few hours a week so that she can have a break and go to the gym, shop for pretty clothes that fit well, get her lip waxed and her hair done. It actually takes time to look like a sexy, appealing, woman. Make sure she has that time.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

People change and age. If the changes really are not normal, they might represent a medical problem. If she is putting less effort into her appearance then you need to consider why. Are you putting as much effort into your appearance, and into romance and dating her as you were in the past? Is she doing the same for you?

In reality though we all age. For man of us love blinds us to those changes. I've bee married 30 years now (after a long time dating) and when I look at my wife I see her unchanged as the beautiful girl I met by a camp fire in 1980.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> She definitively has ovarian cysts and exactly what you listed at 1. PCOS
> 
> I myself have celiac and dairy intolerance. MY physical appearance drastically changed when I was diagnosed and changed my lifestyle, eating habits.
> 
> ...


I feel for you. I really do. 

And, yes, ears can get bigger and noses can enlarge, despite what some people _think_. Alcoholics tend to get red bulbous noses and red splotchy faces. I don't know that that is what is causing your wife's changes in appearance though. Sounds like hormonal/adrenal problems combined with lifestyle and genetics. Can you encourage her to see a doctor by framing it as concern for her health? Can you get her a gift cert for a facial? Throw in a massage for safety. If she has something like rosacea that is affecting her skin, an aesthetician will ask her about it. About the 'stache, I don't know. Most nail salons do waxing too and maybe a gift cert to a local place that does nails and waxing would be a good start. The ladies in the places near me do NOT hesitate to ask if you want your 'stache waxed! That may clue her in. It does sound like she needs to see an endocrinologist, though, and get her hormones worked out.

In the meantime, I can only suggest you focus as much as possible on her positive attributes and offering her loving support. I do understand where you're coming from though and I am really sorry you're in this position.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Diana7 said:


> *A nose does not increase in size and nor do our ears get bigger. *Mine have stayed the same size all my adult life.


Sorry, incorrect. Nose and ear cartilage continues to grow our whole lives. Look it up.

Just look at Kirk Douglas’s ears, then and now.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Wife and i have been married since 2010. We have several children between ages 2-6. She is a GREAT mother. We both work full time jobs.
> 
> My wife is not attractive to me anymore. It’s her face. She is aging rapidly , wrinkles are severe, skin is red and looks like acne, her nose has significantly increased in size and is bright red.
> Her mustache is evident. Her breath smells terrible. She’s always farting. She has muffin top. Her ears are getting bigger. Her feet look terrible.
> ...



My BIL W did this as well. In short, she was drinking, smoking and letting herself go. She did not shower regularly. Breath smelled like a babies diaper(used. not kidding, I smelled it). Gained a bunch of weight. She did nothing at home but watch the news. House was always a wreck. None of this went on when courting or the first year of marriage. He could not stand sex with her when she got to that point. He D and moved as she was not going to change. Even when asked.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

From the other posts here, it sounds to me like her appearance change is a combination of genetic/biological health issues, her use of alcohol/smoking, and generally being run down from taking care of little kids all the time. However, I believe there are a lot of other factors at work here, other than just your physical attraction.
@uhtred mentioned that when he looks at his wife, he still sees the girl he met 30+ yrs ago at a campfire. I hear this sentiment frequently from men and women in long-term, healthy, loving relationships. The fact that you are having such a problem with this leads me to believe that there are other problems in your relationship, either which you have not revealed to us, or of which you aren't fully conscious of, but which your subconscious fully perceives, and this is affecting your attraction to your wife.

That being said, how is the rest of your relationship?

As @Rowan mentioned, it takes a lot of time and effort to look good! Is she getting enough time to herself? If she is overwhelmed with the young'uns and working full-time, she may have lost touch with herself as a woman and what it feels like to be sexual and attractive. She may be totally in MOM mode all the time, which--if she's not getting enough time to herself, or if she's not getting the support she needs from you as a co-parent--could definitely affect her self-care, because her first concern is the care and well-being of your little ones. This is also undoubtedly VERY stressful to her, which can have an impact on physical appearance, and may be why she is using alcohol and tobacco more frequently now.

Now, if I may venture a guess here... are you feeling neglected by your wife right now? Is she paying so much attention to the kids that she doesn't have anything left for you? If she's not showing enough interest in you (and I'm not blaming her, kids can be all-consuming and draining!), that could be a really big factor in why you are losing attraction. After all, mutual attraction feeds the flame... what do people always say that they want in a sexual partner? Enthusiasm! Because what is more attractive than someone who is into YOU and finds YOU attractive?

But you can't just tell her, hey! Pay attention to me! Because she is likely already overwhelmed with the kiddos and working full-time, and that would just be one more thing on her plate, and she can't take one more thing on her plate. It's too much. So what can you do?

You have to take the initiative here and enable her to take better care of herself. First, talk to her. Don't tell her that you don't find her attractive anymore, but tell her that you have some concerns about her health and that you think she is neglecting her well-being. (The halitosis and the excess farting are a bit of a concern to me.) And that you want her around for a long time. Encourage her to see a doctor about these concerns. Talk about how you can be healthier together, and come up with a plan. Then, tell her that you want to find a way for her to have a little more time for herself, because she's more than just a mom. Come up with some regular consistent ways to do this on a weekly basis--it's not just a one-time thing. But I also think it would be great if you got her a weekend (or a few days during the week) at a spa/wellness resort/retreat, the kind of place where they drink green juice and have mineral salt baths and do yoga, something just for her, so she can relax, unwind, and focus on herself. (You would be amazed what a few days of relaxing, clean eating, massages, and facials can do.) And finally, you need to make sure that you are setting aside time for the two of you as a couple, to maintain your connection and nurture your relationship. Re-establishing that connection will go a long way to re-igniting attraction.

And if she sees you taking charge in this way, and doing your best to take care of her, then she will start paying more attention to you as well, which I think will also make her more attractive to you as well.


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## growing_weary (Jul 23, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

While she's getting those important doctor's tests maybe give her a spa day that she can go and get pampered and de-stress. 

This mouthwash is great:
https://shop.oxyfresh.com/collections/mouthwash/products/lemon-mint-power-rinse









Also if she doesn't use a waterpik now, maybe get one for the family to use? Would help with anything stuck between her teeth/gumline that may contribute to bad breath. Does she have post nasal drip? That could potentially cause tonsiloliths and make her mouth extra whatever. 

if the hair is just due to aging and not like a medical thing there are many ways she can address them: waxing, laser, whatever


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

It's a tough situation for you both. She's probably on another board complaining that you were nicer and less shallow before.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

One upside could be that the male hormone is making her hornier and more orgasmic


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

You avoided saying how many several children is between 6 and 2. Several is 3, 4, or 7?

Have you considered the idea you getting a vasectomy might help her look better?

Who is in control of her reproductive choice?

Lest you readers think this is jest, I know women who believe they have no choice in whether or not they get pregnant, and allowing their looks to fail would in fact be a birth control option.


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## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

Thank you all for your advice. IT HELPS!

We have 2 children. Both younger than 5. Tons of her time is taken up by kids. Mine as well. We share the responsibility of taking them to daycare everyday. We share tasks. Laundry. Making kids healthy lunches every day. 

My wife always looks dirty. She has a constant runny nose. Bad breath. Poor skin and it’s gettingworse by the year. Clothes are ripped. She wears same flats everyday. Feet smell
And look so dirty. 

I go to spas. She won’t. She never gets mani/pedi. A haircut maybe once every 3 months. Dyes her roots herself. Hair color Never looks good

She drinks beer and eats chips on the couch. Belches. Chips all over new couch

She buys stuff from amazon. Opens box. Leaves box in kitchen for days. Leaves mail on oven and it gets food spilled on it. 

This lifestyle is unreal. She’s sloppy. I’m somewhere in between a neat freak and a normal person. So we butt heads daily 

Our dog smells all the time. Long nails. She neglects the dog. 

It’s all coming out now. FML 

Therapist helped me realize I cannot change her but try and work her into making good habits.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Not a joke. I feel terrible just describing these things.
> 
> She HAS changed that much and she acknowleges some of it.
> 
> ...


There was a post very similar to yours on TAM in the last year or so.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Magnesium said:


> I feel for you. I really do.
> 
> And, yes, ears can get bigger and noses can enlarge, despite what some people _think_. Alcoholics tend to get red bulbous noses and red splotchy faces. I don't know that that is what is causing your wife's changes in appearance though. Sounds like hormonal/adrenal problems combined with lifestyle and genetics. Can you encourage her to see a doctor by framing it as concern for her health? Can you get her a gift cert for a facial? Throw in a massage for safety. If she has something like rosacea that is affecting her skin, an aesthetician will ask her about it. About the 'stache, I don't know. Most nail salons do waxing too and maybe a gift cert to a local place that does nails and waxing would be a good start. The ladies in the places near me do NOT hesitate to ask if you want your 'stache waxed! That may clue her in. It does sound like she needs to see an endocrinologist, though, and get her hormones worked out.
> 
> In the meantime, I can only suggest you focus as much as possible on her positive attributes and offering her loving support. I do understand where you're coming from though and I am really sorry you're in this position.


Can you tell me what would make a lady in her mid 30s have a nose and ears that have enlarged that much (or at all) in 3 years? Mine have stayed the same size all my adult life and I am 61 now, so has my nose. She isn't an alcoholic. 

As for the hair on the face, electrolysis works well. 

OP do you look at porn? Do you compare her to other women? Have you a woman you are especially keen on? If the answer is yes for any of these things then you need to stop doing them now. 

The things is that we all age and even if its happened earlier than you thought, it was going to happen at some point. So do you keep your promises to her and your small children, and love her and treat her with respect? Or do you abandon her and your children for a younger model and then do the same when she begins to get wrinkles? 
Love and faithfulness and commitment are decisions not always feelings. For better and for worse applies to marriage. You chose to marry her not that long ago, and I'm sorry but no one changes that fast unless they have some sort of serious or terminal illness.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



happy as a clam said:


> Sorry, incorrect. Nose and ear cartilage continues to grow our whole lives. Look it up.
> 
> Just look at Kirk Douglas’s ears, then and now.


The only part of his that has changed is the lobes that have sagged. The actual ears are the same size and shape.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Why do you have a dog?

Would it be a problem if she let her hair get longer?

Is gray hair a problem?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Thank you all for your advice. IT HELPS!
> 
> We have 2 children. Both younger than 5. Tons of her time is taken up by kids. Mine as well. We share the responsibility of taking them to daycare everyday. We share tasks. Laundry. Making kids healthy lunches every day.
> 
> ...


First you said you had several children aged 2-6 and then you said you had 2 children under 5. So what happened to the several, and what happened to the 5-6 year old? 

She sounds very run down and exhausted and maybe a bit depressed.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Thank you all for your advice. IT HELPS!
> 
> We have 2 children. Both younger than 5. Tons of her time is taken up by kids. Mine as well. We share the responsibility of taking them to daycare everyday. We share tasks. Laundry. Making kids healthy lunches every day.
> 
> ...


You say 'our' dog, so why cant you help care for the dog? You says 'she' neglects the dog. Do you also neglect the dog? If his nails are too long then he/she needs regular daily walks. They need exercise outside the house anyway long nails or not. Also an occasional bath, although our dog doesn't smell at all and rarely has a bath.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Diana7 said:


> The only part of his that has changed is the lobes that have sagged. The actual ears are the same size and shape.


Peer reviewed medical journal (abstract only):

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/18196763/


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Thank you all for your advice. IT HELPS!
> 
> We have 2 children. Both younger than 5. Tons of her time is taken up by kids. Mine as well. We share the responsibility of taking them to daycare everyday. We share tasks. Laundry. Making kids healthy lunches every day.
> 
> ...


I'm beginning to wonder if she isn't suffering from severe depression. Because it sounds like she is barely functioning.

I can't blame you for losing attraction to her. Your initial post, I will admit, made you sound a bit shallow. This post shows that there is a lot more going on here.

Is she seeing a therapist? Has the topic been broached?


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## NjGuy8282 (Jan 25, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> NjGuy8282 said:
> 
> 
> > You say 'our' dog, so why cant you help care for the dog? You says 'she' neglects the dog. Do you also neglect the dog? If his nails are too long then he/she needs regular daily walks. They need exercise outside the house anyway long nails or not. Also an occasional bath, although our dog doesn't smell at all and rarely has a bath.
> ...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Can you ask the dog groomer to also groom the wife in the same visit? Take care of two problems in one visit is money well spent.

What I don't understand is: how can your feelings have changed so much about your wife in such short time/ This seems totally unreal somehow. Were you hugely attracted to her before? Maybe something happened with your hormones and suddenly you don't find her attractive? Unless there are medical reasons, people don't change that quickly.



NjGuy8282 said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > I’ve voiced my concern for the dog. I’ve called a mobile dog groomer to have them visit the house and clip nails, bathe dog. She has refused the help. She bathed dog half assed and clips nails in the wrong manner. Not going to elaborate but you are bringing up a good point. I’ll take the dog for care on my own. Regardless of it upsetting her. She feels like the dog whisperer. But clearly she is not.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> She definitively has ovarian cysts and exactly what you listed at 1. PCOS
> 
> I myself have celiac and dairy intolerance. MY physical appearance drastically changed when I was diagnosed and changed my lifestyle, eating habits.
> 
> ...


.... in sickness or in health... except... "Glad you uttered those words because now you have an out....what do you mean there wasn't an except clause in your vows?"


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Diana7 said:


> Can you tell me what would make a lady in her mid 30s have a nose and ears that have enlarged that much (or at all) in 3 years? Mine have stayed the same size all my adult life and I am 61 now, so has my nose. She isn't an alcoholic.



Thyroid disease, acromegaly, peri/menopause, ovarian cysts/cancer, and many more.

I really, really dislike the mindset that "if it didn't happen to me, it isn't possible!" I mean, really....just google it!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Magnesium said:


> Thyroid disease, acromegaly, peri/menopause, ovarian cysts/cancer, and many more.
> 
> I really, really dislike the mindset that "if it didn't happen to me, it isn't possible!" I mean, really....just google it!


I know people who have had most of them, didn't notice any change in their noses or ears, especially in such a short time. I have been through the menopause, nope, no change in my nose or ears.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Diana7 said:
> 
> 
> > I’ve voiced my concern for the dog. I’ve called a mobile dog groomer to have them visit the house and clip nails, bathe dog. She has refused the help. She bathed dog half assed and clips nails in the wrong manner. Not going to elaborate but you are bringing up a good point. I’ll take the dog for care on my own. Regardless of it upsetting her. She feels like the dog whisperer. But clearly she is not.
> ...


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



NjGuy8282 said:


> Thank you all for your advice. IT HELPS!
> 
> We have 2 children. Both younger than 5. Tons of her time is taken up by kids. Mine as well. We share the responsibility of taking them to daycare everyday. We share tasks. Laundry. Making kids healthy lunches every day.
> 
> ...


Sir, you described my BIL XW to a T. She did none of this while dating my BIL. After the wedding...game over. She was IMO putting on a show prior to marriage.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

How are you guys financially? Does she maybe feel like she can’t spend money on her looks without taking money away from the family?

And she sounds gross, and I bet she drinks ton more that you are aware of.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

the nose and ears are a tip off take a look at this. acromegaly


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Diana7 said:


> I know people who have had most of them, didn't notice any change in their noses or ears, especially in such a short time. I have been through the menopause, nope, no change in my nose or ears.


Diana, you seem to be intentionally missing the point. If you're not being willfully obtuse, forgive me; but it is beyond annoying that you seem to think your experiences are the totality of all that is true and real.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Magnesium said:


> Diana, you seem to be intentionally missing the point. If you're not being willfully obtuse, forgive me; but it is beyond annoying that you seem to think your experiences are the totality of all that is true and real.


Agree. My nose is definitely bigger than it was when I was younger — I have pictures from then and now and it’s undeniable. 

Not by much, but the bulbous tip is definitely slightly larger. And I’ve never broken my nose or had any other nose injury which would cause it to be bigger.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



happy as a clam said:


> Agree. My nose is definitely bigger than it was when I was younger — I have pictures from then and now and it’s undeniable.
> 
> Not by much, but the bulbous tip is definitely slightly larger. And I’ve never broken my nose or had any other nose injury which would cause it to be bigger.


We are talking about 3 years here in a young lady in her 30's.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*

Cartilage growth is a slow process in the absence of disease vectors.

In my opinion, in light of complaining about hair coloring and styling, I still think there are things which are not being mentioned. When someone is angry about something they are embarrassed to talk about they will often complain about trivial things, like a slightly less blue eye on the left, or gray hair. 

Disease is likely. 

You even mentioned you are aware she has a cyst. How long has she had it? Have you made sure it is being taken care of? If it’s been there a while is surgery scheduled?

Have you seen to it your wife is being seen by appropriate specialists? 

It is my opinion a spouse should not stand idly by and watch the health of their loved one fail. You can do something about it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: I’m no longer physically attracted*



Diana7 said:


> The only part of his that has changed is the lobes that have sagged. The actual ears are the same size and shape.


This is a well known and studied phenomenon.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18196763

Edit: D'oh. Always read to the end of the thread.


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