# Rough Sex..getting rougher.



## mandyj (Feb 17, 2014)

I have been married to my husband for just on a year. He is a good man, kind and gentle except for the bedroom and I know I should talk to him about it, but I am not sure how.

We both have always had high libidos, generally we have sex around 3 times or more a day and in the past he has been rough on occasion and I did not discourage him, I found it exciting. Lately, however it seems he almost NEEDS to be rough with me every single time we have sex, anything goes, from obscene name calling, to hard, repeated slapping of my face, choking, spitting and often my vagina and ass are left so sore it hurts to walk afterwards. 

With his extremely high sex drive, I don't feel like I have had a chance to recover and sex is sometimes extremely painful. I have told him this and it seems to excite him more and he says he doesn't care as he tightens his grip around my throat.

I have viewed some of the porn that I found he has been watching, and that is the type of sex we are having, hard and rough porn star sex and whilst those girls seem to do it with ease, I don't feel I can, not every single day.

I don't know how to tell him as I fear he NEEDS to be rough in order to enjoy sex and also, sometimes it makes me very sad. I don't understand how a guy that I love so much and that seems to love me and would do almost anything for me can want to hurt me so much.

BTW he is NEVER physically violent during a disagreement, in fact we get along so well, we never disagree.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

You tell him just that....he is hurting you. That it's not enjoyable for you. Plus tell him to knock off looking at the aggressive porn. It's warping his reality.


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## loving1 (Aug 5, 2013)

I think it's very troubling that he doesn't seem to care that he's hurting you.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You need to have serious sex talking outside of the bedroom. There are men that get hung up on hurting women during sex. I agree with richee, he needs to cut out the porn and communicate with you about sex.

He is objectifying you in the bedroom. Honestly, he sounds a little dangerous. A man who thinks it is fun to continue hurting a woman when she tells him it hurts, is to close to a rapist for comfort.

You guys could probably use some therapy. If he won't change, get the hell out. Men that get off hurting women are a waste of skin. You don't want to have children in a situation with a man that warped either.

Take this issue seriously, his thought process is dangerous.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dannie1348 (Nov 17, 2011)

Roughf sex might be good for him but sounds like its not you thing. I be talking to him about it sit up a safe word for sure. Just remember roughf sex in porn there being paid for the show your not !


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

This is scary......STOP, STOP,STOP having sex with him until he admits he has hurt you, he stops viewing degrading porn and has changed himself.

I am not saying this as a prude....I like to be GENTLY choked and GENTLY slapped during sex with DH sometimes...I get turned on from rough sex but DH knows how NOT to physically hurt me.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I agree with everyone else. Rough sex has it's place and can be very exciting and stimulating, but sex is more than getting off! Sex is meeting the need of both partners.

Find your vagina girlfriend! Tell him there must be limits in place. Tell him NO rough stuff today. If he doesn't honor that, you must be ready to stop having sex with him until he is ready to honor your requests!

And he has to stop the porn. It's okay sometimes, but it's feeding his lack of care and concern.

List out your limits, in writing for him. What are willing to do or allow and how often. If he likes the rough stuff he probably gets even more turned on, during sex, when you ask him to stop. This is called consenting nonconsent. It's perfectly fine butt here needs to be a safeword in place so that the consent part of nonconsent is respected. You could say RED, which mean stop and get off of me. You could say yellow, which means he is on the line of too far. This way he can ignore you "ouch, stop, no that hurts.." But you still have a way of clearly removing consent.

Check out some BDSM web site so you can get some clear guidance on what your soft and hard limits are.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

It is clearly no good you telling him he is hurting you during the act.

You must sit him down and have a proper talk about this outside of the bedroom. If you want to continue with some element of rough sex then you certainly need to have a safe word, at least until he has worked out how far he can go without hurting you.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

This sounds so unhealthy, OP. He definitely needs to stop the porn.

I think some rough sex is nature's way. It is how we bond to our mate. But porn is artificial, an artificial stimulant.

He needs to get off it and detox. And anything you two do together needs to be based in love.

If everything else is okay, and this is really your only issue, then I think he has some kind of sex addiction, and needs counseling for it.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

He needs to come back to reality and find some balance with this. You can have rough sex without causing real pain and certainly without endangering your partner with real choking. He needs to realize that you are submitting to him and that is a gift. In taking that gift he takes on a huge responsibility which is your health and safety. And this has to work for both of you. Don't find yourself going beyond your limits because he's really great in other areas and you want to please him.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Seems kinda trolly.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

In case this is true, You may be putting your life in jeopardy. You say he is nice otherwise. I doubt it. He is a sadist. It may get bad if you don't check this. 

If you are a short creature living under a bridge - you are going to hit your head on a low beam, slide down a muddy embankment into a ditch and drown. Be careful.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

So when you finally have a serious conversation about too much rough sex being painful, it's usually during rough sex and when you tell him you are sore he chokes you harder?

Tral la la lala.... lala la la.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

One-poster from under a bridge?


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Squeeze the sack.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

If you don't set boundaries you are as big of a part of the problem as he is. You're not a child.


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