# How do you know if someone really loves you enough?



## Loveimage (Oct 7, 2011)

Hi all,

How do you know if someone really loves you and wants to marry you? I mean people can say anything they want and also act in a certain way. What tests have you used to determine whether or not someone loves you enough to have a future with them?

I know a few people that marry for all sorts of reasons and not just love so how do you know if your partner is with you for the 'right' reasons?

Thanks


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## alwaysoverwhelmed (Apr 24, 2012)

What exactly do you mean by "tests"? I think that most people have a set of "standards" when it comes to potential life partners. The questions you're asking can get a million conflicting answers because everyone is different. People change over time, and love is not always enough to secure a future with someone.


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## Princess_Lily (Jun 8, 2012)

You have to ask yourself what your looking for in your "life mate," and look for someone who has those common (realistic) traits.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Loveimage said:


> Hi all,
> 
> How do you know if someone really loves you and wants to marry you? I mean people can say anything they want and also act in a certain way. What tests have you used to determine whether or not someone loves you enough to have a future with them?
> 
> ...


Are you a man or a woman LoveImage? 

The Test of Time and not ignorning Red Flags...listening to what friends/ family are saying...seeing...and not turn a blind eye to these things, but weigh them carefully. 

I think men need to be cautious that women aren't Gold diggers...so if you have big bucks & she knows it... you need to test her heart .... and Women need to be cautious that men aren't Players... but a man who is capable of true commitment /faithfulness in the midst of temptation all around him, forgoing his old lifestyle.... give them the test of TIME, don't give her body too soon, again testing his heart in how he treats her in all things. 

As a woman... my answer is in this thread ....what I will teach my own daughter -to know that the man loves her deeply and wants her for her, the type that would give his life for her.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...-sex-relation-love-her-emotions-her-life.html

And "*Compatibilty*" is everything in successful marraige... I think we all need to know ourselves deeply, what we are looking for in a mate & try to find someone who has the same "selfish" desires we do- so we are not fighting against a tidal wave once we tie the knot... but are headed in the same direction in life.... 


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-t...ility-b4-vows-beyond-marital-harmony-joy.html 

.


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## Loveimage (Oct 7, 2011)

I'm a woman Simplyamorous. Thanks for your responses. What I was asking is how do you know that someone really loves you? You hope your partner is truthful and genuine in what he says but what are the signs your partner is in it for the long haul?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Loveimage said:


> What tests have you used to determine whether or not someone loves you enough to have a future with them?


'tests'=game playing

not a good way to start out a relationship.
had a bit of that going on in one of my past relationships. not a good thing. puts a bad taste in the testies  mouth towards the tester.

as stated above, be aware of red flags but not in a way that seems like you are looking for failure from them. thats how my relationship felt.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Loveimage said:


> What I was asking is how do you know that someone really loves you? You hope your partner is truthful and genuine in what he says but what are the signs your partner is in it for the long haul?


Actions speak louder than words. So look to what they do not what they say.

As far as whether they are in it for the long haul there are no guarantees but there are things that you can look for. Do they job hop? Do they give up easily? How do they handle conflict? How much do they value LT relationships? Look to their childhoods. Was it happy or are their unresolved issues? Are his parents still married? Or have his parents been married multiple times? How does he view marriage?

Look at the bigger picture taking various things into consideration.

There's no sure fire way but there are clues that will give you some idea. I'm not sure what you mean by long haul. I assumed you meant committed.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> 'tests'=game playing
> 
> not a good way to start out a relationship.
> had a bit of that going on in one of my past relationships. not a good thing. puts a bad taste in the testies  mouth towards the tester.
> ...


 If ever there was a case of hindsight being 20/20, here's proof.

Not long after DS was born, STBXH conspired with his friend (now alcoholic on disability for drinking) to test me on faithfulness. They set me up one night when we all were out. H rode back to our house with so-called friend's GF and had me ride back with his friend. On the way, F hit on me in a major way. When we got to the house, I immediately let H know what happened. Didn't know this was a "test" until years later, H admitted it. Apparently he and his friends regularly tested each others GF. Insulted and hurt doesn't even begin to describe how I felt, and still do after 25 years! Yet another red flag for me but I never saw it.

I passed so-called test, with flying colors. Should have "tested" him, as it turns out STBXH is the cheater!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I never tested. My husband (then fiance) was there for me during my toughest time. We had been in a car accident. I had gotten a fractured, dislocated hip. A lesser man would have walked away. My husband changed dressings for wound care, he emptied my bedside commode when my sister refused. He held me, comforted me, when the doctors told me there was a possibility that there was tissue damage, which could prevent me from ever bearing children. And, as much as we both wanted children, he STILL stayed with me. I got pregnant, before we were married. We got ridicule from certain church members. And he STILL stood by my side. We married, I miscarried that first pregnancy. He comforted me, cried with me. This man stood with me during my/our toughest times and never faltered. I'd say I chose wisely. Not saying we haven't had other marital problems, but he most definitely is a keeper. <3


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Good advice here. As others have said, watch his actions, not his words. Ask friends and family what they think of him. How does he react to stress? Does he listen to you and support you emotionally? Do you both have the same attitude toward having children and toward spending money? How does he treat his mother and sister if he has one? Does he speak contemptuously of women?


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

Loveimage said:


> Hi all,
> 
> How do you know if someone really loves you and wants to marry you? I mean people can say anything they want and also act in a certain way. What tests have you used to determine whether or not someone loves you enough to have a future with them?
> 
> ...


Your question is too vague LoveImage  Especially if you are planning to use the responses to chalk out your future.

If you are thinking about marrying your BF and not sure, or have some concerns about him or his intentions, I would recommend you post your entire story and get opinions. That might help you figure out if HE really loves you enough to plan out a future with him


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