# Lost, hurt, confused, & angry



## risinphoenix (Aug 11, 2011)

My wife & I have been together 5 yrs & married 3 but 3 months ago she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore & doesn't know if she wants to live with or without me, she loves our family but doesn't know if she wants it. Long story short, she kicked me out, asked me to come back 3 weeks later but said she still doesn't know if she wants the marriage to work. She agreed to therapy with me & in therapy I learned all of the complaints she had about the marriage & for the next 2 months I began to focus on myself & I completely changed into a better person, husband, and father for our 3 yr old son. She even told her mom I'm a completely different person than I was in May. During our 1st few therapy sessions I found out she cheated on me during our seperation & I was willing to forgive her, I knew it would be hard but I understood why she did it (my years of neglect). I tried everything in my power for the past 3 months to work on improving our marriage but everytime we would make progress she would pull back away from me. She became & has remained indifferent towards me. She claims she ceased contact with the OM but I dont believe het because of her actions towards me. She came home from work last Thursday & told me she can't do this to me anymore and she has finally made up her mind on if she wants to work on marriage or not....she wants a divorce. We have continued to live in the same house but I'm leaving on Monday. I think I may tell her tonight I need her to go stay with friends until then because I'm starting to hate her. She is a completely different person than I met & married & I'm angry that she gives up on the marriage this easy. I know what I have to do to move forward& put this behind me but it's not gonna be easy. She says I'm still her best friend. If she thinks I can be friends with her after this she is delusional. I just dont understand it, she said I have done more than anyone can ask for but her lack of feelings for me havent changed even though I'm doing everything right. Now I have to start my life over & I can find no justifiable reason for it. Her indifference is killing me & I feel a hatred for her starting to creep in.
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## risinphoenix (Aug 11, 2011)

She also said she doesnt know if shes making the biggest mistake of her life or the best decision of her life. I hope she wakes up one day when I'm not there & realizes she made a huge mistake. Our therapist even kept saying in our sessions we dont have any issues that can't be worked through & that we have the potential to be something huge. I realize now that we never had a chance because she never tried. She even said in our last session that she feels as if we arent making any progress because shes not making any progress. Thats what makes me the most angry....she never tried.
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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

risinphoenix said:


> Thats what makes me the most angry....she never tried.
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 Same here my other half tried for 3~4 weeks and bailed out of the marriage. As a Silly Wild Ass Guess in your situation your wife will at some point down the road want to get back together. Sounds like it will be too late by then.


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## risinphoenix (Aug 11, 2011)

It will be too late by then. Theres been too much hurt caused by her. Ive never allowed any woman to hurt me this badly. Im pretty sure she has already ran back to the arms of the bastard she cheated on me with. I cant wait for that to fall apart, cuz it will.....you can't go from a 5 yr relationship directly to another one and expect it to last. I wont be there to help her pick up her pieces. Eventually she will figure out the only person shes running from is herself.
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