# Talking with the wife about taboo sexual experiences



## Here4u21983 (10 mo ago)

Hi
My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years. Yes we are happy. I am bisexual, never actually been forward and told her and haven’t played with guys since we have been married.

I am wanting to either have the opportunity to play with guys again (happy to have her involved) or for her to experiment with pegging. She know I like a bit of anal play but I want it to go further….

any thoughts on how to approach?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Here4u21983 said:


> any thoughts on how to approach?


From the rear.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

You’ve gone 11 years without this being an issue. I think it likely your wife could have very different views than you think, and wonder if you’ve been repressing your true nature and the “real” might not be what she signed up for.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

So basically you want to have sex with others. That probably won't go down well. Especially when you have hidden your interest in men from her which was very deceptive.
If you watch porn, especially gay porn, my advise is to stop.
You may well rock the marriage to its foundations if you do this.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> From the rear.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

well the fact that it is with other men does not change it much, you are asking if she is ok with an open marriage.
there are plenty of threads on that topic here, especially lately.

a very few percent of marriages survive that sort of thing.

Has she given you ANY indication she might be into it? 
like she is watching a TV show like Outlander, sees the woman being forced into non-monogamy, and says "that is really hot"?
does she ever watch any MFM porn?

if not, you are really playing with fire here.
and btw, congratulations on not having any male partners during your marriage. that must have been a tough choice, and you stuck with it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

As for pegging just ask her if she’ll try it.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Putting myself in your wife’s place… I would be pretty upset. Just the fact of marrying someone who is bisexual, and they never told me would really make me upset. On top of, you want to now sleep with other people. 

I’m sorry but you have deceived your wife and have hidden who you are.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The deceptiveness of the title of the thread when you read the content is a perfect encapsulation of the OP’s trick he played on his wife. He lied, stole her youth and now that he’s sure her options are limited he’s going to demand an open marriage in the name of “tolerance.” I feel horrible for this poor woman, she’s about to be blindsided.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> The deceptiveness of the title of the thread when you read the content is a perfect encapsulation of the OP’s trick he played on his wife. He lied, stole her youth and now that he’s sure her options are limited he’s going to demand an open marriage in the name of “tolerance.” I feel horrible for this poor woman, she’s about to be blindsided.


I cannot agree more with this!!! 

The wording that this dude uses is such a reflection of who he is… which is sneaky, and manipulative. 

I want to play with other guys? Play??? Let’s call it what it is… it’s adultery!! It’s cheating! Its an affair!! It’s a big freakin deal and it’s offensive and flippant to use the word PLAY. Your trying to portray it as this fun thing, and you want your wife to join in on this game. Hell no. 

Also to the title…. You don’t want to TALK about taboo sexual acts, you want to blindside your wife and basically guilt her into this because… well your bisexual and you have been missing this sexual side your whole marriage. It’s bull.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

So let me get this straight (excuse the pun) - you are gay (yes, yes I know bisexual blah blah). You want (sounds like need) to get screwed in the ass by other men. You think for a moment that pegging might suffice but then almost as quickly realise that you are gay and want another man's penis in your ass. And you want to know how to broach sleeping with other men (your true desire) with your wife who you have been feeding this bisexual tripe to for years. You want to cheat with other men while having the safety of a marriage and a beard. Good luck with that!!!!! Give your wife the most amicable divorce that you can including letting her keep custody of the kids while you pay your alimony and child support, take responsibility for the lies and go ahead and knock yourself out is the right advice to give you.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

I can't see this going over well.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

So you're going to drop the bisexual/gay bomb, ask for an open marriage, and suggest a MMF or MFM threesome? Good luck with that. Not only are you asking for permission to **** men, but you are trying to up sell it by saying she gets to watch her husband get plowed up the ass and suck ****? Fun! Yes, some women are into that but the odds probably are not in your favor. 

If you are happy, then don't go and blow that up just to **** men. Being bisexual doesn't mean you need both men and women to be happy. If you do need men, then you are gay my friend.

You should talk to your wife about your sexual preferences, but that conversation should have happened before saying "I do" so don't be shocked if her reaction isn't what you hope.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Just divorce her and then you can have all the sex with men (because that’s what you’re actually after) that you want.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Just ask her to peg you in the bedroom. But don't ask to be with other guys.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> The deceptiveness of the title of the thread when you read the content is a perfect encapsulation of the OP’s trick he played on his wife. He lied, stole her youth and now that he’s sure her options are limited he’s going to demand an open marriage in the name of “tolerance.” I feel horrible for this poor woman, she’s about to be blindsided.


I was about to open my internet mouth to say something similar and now I don't have to.

Full agreement.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Just ask her to peg you in the bedroom. But don't ask to be with other guys.


I’m afraid to google what “peg” means. A toy?

It almost sounds like they’re already doing that. If a strap on would suffice, they’d likely already be there. He wants an open marriage so he has live-in housekeeping while he dates other people.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I’m afraid to google what “peg” means. A toy?
> 
> It almost sounds like they’re already doing that. If a strap on would suffice, they’d likely already be there. He wants an open marriage so he has live-in housekeeping while he dates other people.


It's a woman putting on a strap on and having sex with the guy


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's a woman putting on a strap on and having sex with the guy


Ok, thanks. Yeah if that would do it for him they’d probably already be there. He wants additional relationships and to leave his wife when he finds something better.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> Putting myself in your wife’s place… I would be pretty upset. Just the fact of marrying someone who is bisexual, and they never told me would really make me upset. On top of, you want to now sleep with other people.
> 
> I’m sorry but you have deceived your wife and have hidden who you are.


How about if you just like the anal stuff, but without the bisexual penis and ball thing? Is that bad to bring up? just asking for a friend


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

manfromlamancha said:


> So let me get this straight (excuse the pun) - you are gay (yes, yes I know bisexual blah blah). You want (sounds like need) to get screwed in the ass by other men. You think for a moment that pegging might suffice but then almost as quickly realise that you are gay and want another man's penis in your ass. And you want to know how to broach sleeping with other men (your true desire) with your wife who you have been feeding this bisexual tripe to for years. You want to cheat with other men while having the safety of a marriage and a beard. Good luck with that!!!!! Give your wife the most amicable divorce that you can including letting her keep custody of the kids while you pay your alimony and child support, take responsibility for the lies and go ahead and knock yourself out is the right advice to give you.


I got the impression she doesn't know about the bisexual part either.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I got the impression she doesn't know about the bisexual part either.


I get the impression he’s lied to her about just about everything. 🙄🙁


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Mybabysgotit said:


> How about if you just like the anal stuff, but without the bisexual penis and ball thing? Is that bad to bring up? just asking for a friend


Hahaha tell your friend it’s fine to like anal stuff. 
I like to be worshipped and have my feet massaged while getting fed grapes, but my man isn’t Into that.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The problem is that, in general, women aren’t turned on by the idea of men with men the way that, in general, men are turned on by the idea of women with women. Many men would like to join in. Many women wouldn’t.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> Hahaha tell your friend it’s fine to like anal stuff.
> I like to be worshipped and have my feet massaged while getting fed grapes, but my man isn’t Into that.


The butt pirating or the worshiping ?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Here4u21983 said:


> ......been married for almost 11 years..........I am bisexual, *never actually been forward and told her and haven’t played with guys since we have been married.*
> 
> I am wanting to* either *have the opportunity to p*lay with guys again* (happy to have her involved) or for *her to experiment with pegging*. She know I like a bit of anal play but I want it to go further….
> 
> any thoughts on* how to approach?*


There are a lot of yes, no, maybe lists out there you can download off the internet. My suggestion would be to ask your wife of 11 years to fill one out, while you fill one out, to see if the two of you can add some things to your sexual experiences.

Many of the lists include 3-some's and pegging. Personally, I don't think it is ever a good idea to add sex with another person to a marriage, but that is just me. 

The idea behind a Y,N,M list is that you each find out what you are willing to do, what you absolutely won't do and what you might try under the right circumstances. They are good ways of finding out things you both want or might want to try that you were to afraid to bring up. Do the lists separately, then compare and discuss why each of you is "yes, no, or maybe." You should each share your reasons. The will provide you with a lot of information.

I agree with others blurting out that you are bi....after all these years, seems like it might make your wife question all kinds of things you haven't told her. If you felt that way, you really should have told her. Still, there are bi-sexuals who do fall in love and want monogamous sex with only one person for the rest of their life.

Good Luck.

Good luck.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

You'll probably take a pounding in the divorce precedings. Not the kind of pounding you're looking for though.


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## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

Approach the subject by telling her where to find a good divorce lawyer. For 11 years you have hid from her a significant part of who you are. I can't imagine she will be anything other than shattered when you bring it up no matter how you broach the subject.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I only have one personal experience to give you as an example. A good friend of mine, who I thought was totally gay (lived by him in apartments and kept the friendship later) ended up marrying a woman. He had a lot of health issues, the big one being hip replacement that became complicated. So a lot of their marriage ended up stalled out sexually due to that. But once he began to finally recover, he confided to me that all he could think about anymore was having sex with guys again and he was communicating with one in another state and about to really betray his wife, who he had never told. He was about to make some excuse to go to where this guy was. I, of course, told him that wasn't right, over the phone (he lived in another state). 

Somehow it all came to a head, and they truly did seem to love each other and love each other's company, but once she found out he had had sex with men (this was early 2000s), she was very upset at not knowing, partly because of the prevalence of AIDS at that time. He had even had a false positive before he met her. 

So she simply stayed with him but said they were never ever going to have sex again and no, she wasn't open to him dating around, so to make up his mind. He ended up staying with her and he didn't live a long time as he had an undiagnosed cancer that due to his other pain and hip complications was overlooked as being pain from that, so no one went looking for it. 

So that's just the only instance I know of. She really hated that he lied by omission and felt her put her at risk and now she knew he was also wanting men again. 

You know your wife and I don't. Some might take it better than she did. She wasn't an edgy person at all, but just a very nice person. Even though I was only meeting her for the first time, when I visited, she talked to me about it in the car. She had a very hard time imagining that he wasn't just straight. 

So I'm far more worried about her finding out you're bi than about whether she'll peg you since you've already been kind of in that arena for her. They are not one and the same.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Here4u21983 said:


> Hi
> My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years. Yes we are happy. I am bisexual, never actually been forward and told her and haven’t played with guys since we have been married.
> 
> I am wanting to either have the opportunity to play with guys again (happy to have her involved) or for her to experiment with pegging. She know I like a bit of anal play but I want it to go further….
> ...


You sick fudge, get out, leave spouse, and go be "g", your are a deceiver.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Girl_power said:


> Putting myself in your wife’s place… I would be pretty upset. Just the fact of marrying someone who is bisexual, and they never told me would really make me upset. On top of, you want to now sleep with other people.
> 
> I’m sorry but you have deceived your wife and have hidden who you are.


i suppose you could start off with baby steps.
talk to your wife about MFM hookups. maybe with straight guys only.
if she is into that, try it.
then maybe find an M for an MFM who is bi, and sneak that one in. and as he is there, after he pleases the wife, you please him and see how she reacts.

who knows, after the intial shock she might love it, or kick you out.


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