# Where to Confront?



## goshjosh (Mar 23, 2013)

Curious as to where people confront their WS.

I assume mostly at home, but am interested in hearing from people who confronted elsewhere (e.g. in couples counseling).


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Do it at a counselor, but only if the counselor knows their stuff. If they're your typical 1980's "what is not being provided in this relationship" counselors then they will botch your confrontation. Likewise if you have anger issues and don't want it to get out of hand then most certainly do it in counseling good counselor or not.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My confrontation was at home. I kept it relatively calm (as calm as you can under those circumstances). You don't have children to worry about and that helps.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Don't think the where is too important unless you're afraid of damage to marital property or something. HOW you confront is a bigger deal IMO. When you do, lay out some of the facts that you know but don't tell her HOW you know what you do. Just drop enough of what you do know so that she can't claim you're lying. Otherwise she'll just make attempts to hide the affair by other means.

A WS will only admit to what they know or believe you can prove. If they don't know what you do know or they aren't sure it makes it that much harder for them to spin a lie and easier to catch them up in one.

But if you're positive you want to divorce her, I'd contact a lawyer and file before confrontation. I keep hearing whoever files first tends to have somewhat of an advantage although not sure how true that is.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

goshjosh said:


> Curious as to where people confront their WS.
> 
> I assume mostly at home, but am interested in hearing from people who confronted elsewhere (e.g. in couples counseling).


The counselor will just F it up. Tell you there are two sides to every story, what needs of hers aren't you meeting, what do you have to do to win her back. I think there's a better than 50/50 chance that this will happen.

If you don't have kids, why bother confronting? Just have her served with divorce papers - she didn't tell you she was cheating, why should you tell her she's caught? Let someone else tell her.

When you know she is going to be served, call all of her family and friends and yours, call the other man's wife/girlfriend/family, and then just sit back and watch the fireworks as she is served the papers and gets a ton of calls/messages at the same time.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I confronted at home.

Read about one confrontation that happened at the inlaws, during a family cathering. The betrayed husband put in the tape the PI gave him.

Everyone had sat down to watch a movie, but instead they all got to watch his WW with OM.

If I remember correctly he had already packed and after the tape started playing and everyone just stared at the screen with there mouth open, the husband walked out with out notice.


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## HampdenMom (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm planning on waiting until he leaves on business Monday, and letting the OW know that I know simultaneously. The only reason I've kept it together this past week is that our daughter is home for Easter break. I can't wait until this is over and done with.


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

I confronted my wife at her job
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

I did it at home unfortunately. The good part was that the kids were at Her Mothers house. The bad part was a Nintendo Wii and 54" LCD TV were victims of domestic violence and pronounced dead at the scene. 

That sucked too, I watched my TV mostly through the Wii via Netflix. Oh well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

I arranged to get rid of the kids and the dog for the night, but still purposely confronted at a place other than our home. There are enough triggers, I didn't want to turn my own home into one as well. She had rented a studio for a large art project, so I chose there, because it was temporary.


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