# Now I'm really confused!!!!



## missv (Apr 1, 2010)

I took a look at the Emotional Needs Questionnaire. Makes me wonder if it really is true that men are from Mars, women are from Venus I didn't even have to wonder about what would be priority for my husband because he's told me often enough through the years. Like I said in my last post, the weight is coming off pretty quickly now. People are noticing. He's reacting differently toward me too. And to top it all off, yesterday I saw a picture of myself about a year ago and was thoroughly disgusted, so I now know how's he's felt. BUT, it seems like the more the weight comes off, the more my eyes are opened, the more I feel a distance between us. It's like I read these postings and sometimes it doesn't bother me to think of life without him. That scares me because I don't want to feel that way. I feel myself changing but I honestly don't really want to change without him.


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## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

I'm really glad to hear that you're having success and that your husband is reacting differently. I think you should be losing the weight for yourself and not for him, though. He should have married you for who you are. If you change your weight, is he gonna want to change something else after that?


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

Well honestly , physical attraction is one of the first things we find in a partner. You yourself mentioned how you saw a older picture of you and even you found it disgusting. A little weight wouldn't be a issue for most but ive found a lot of people have let themselves go to the point of health issues. 

Atleast your working on a better you.


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## missv (Apr 1, 2010)

Ok, in all honesty, I've let myself go. I'm tired of looking the way I do. And yes, I know it's good that I'm doing this for me and not for him. And I am also, along with him, tired of not having the affection, passion, whatever you want to call it. But knowing I don't look the way I did, and that he doesn't find it attractive, I can't get into the mindset of prancing around in a flimsy something...being the one to initiate this. And I'm sure a lot of it is in anger and resentment, but I'm not sure I want to. Even though it's not right or accurate to feel this way, part of me wants to be like, ok you didn't want to wait for me to do this, screw you. I mean, we've been together 13 years....how long did I expect him to wait. But how on earth do I get past THIS?


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

Prayer. Focus on keeping yourself healthy. Try to forgive whether you two get back together or not. If you don't work on your anger and resentments now whatever happens in the future will be tarnished from the past.


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## missv (Apr 1, 2010)

Thank you Carefulthoughts. I do tend to forget the prayer part. Seems like when things are going well, I remember to pray my thanks, but when things aren't going so well (horrible), I want to take matters into my own hands again. And I have to keep reminding myself about resentments. Thank you.


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

Your welcome. Pray in all times good and bad. Today was bad for me but i gave thanks for what all I do have.


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