# How to start the goodbye process



## Poquitodefe (May 25, 2020)

I am soooooo tired of endings and new beginnings. How do I let go and start over...I thought of everything that is causing me to feel the need to separate myself from my spouse...one he said my dreams were unattainable and I have no hobbies..he cant account for almost 1400 missing from off his unemployment card and we got into it and I ended up getting pushed into the wall. And now lies a huge hole from impact.my kids dad started talking crap to me and brung up texts that occurred between him and my husbsnd....and the kids dad sent them to me and my husband was basically talking mess about me and saying he wish I wasn't his wife and that the baby I miscarried was not his when it was.he left me at an event and said it was justified. He didn't tell me that his mom and him planned out their birthday celebration without me. I only found out when his mom invited me at the last minute and I cant take off from work..I cry and I cry some more...I feel a part of me is dying right now...I want out.


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## Daniel88Marsden (Jun 30, 2020)

hi, I am really sorry you had to go through that. The first thing I suggest you do is to make up your mind. do you really need this ? can you work this out? on answering this you will get to the next step. Try to look at things from a whole new perspective. Now, this gonna be the hardest part, confrontation. Talk openly let your partner know how you feel. & now start the process of divorce.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

How do you start? See a lawyer. Learn what the process would look like for YOU and your kids. You can at least get a plan together that way. This does NOT mean you have to divorce -- but more information you have about this the better. I wonder if the reason you have NOT left is due to the fear of the unknown. Seeing a lawyer (or three) can help with that.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Lawyer.... everything else is just subtracting the good years off your life.


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## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

Ask yourself some important questions. 
Do I want to live the next however many years like this
If i had a daughter being treated like this, how would I advise her.
I asked myself these questions, and the answers were abundantly clear to me.


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## Poquitodefe (May 25, 2020)

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have made up my mind. As the dynamics of my marriage is not the same anymore. I am makes moves to get out.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Poquitodefe said:


> Thanks everyone for your replies. I have made up my mind. As the dynamics of my marriage is not the same anymore. I am makes moves to get out.


VERY sorry that you have to go through this, but at least you've made the decision -- get your plan together, and hopefully you can split amicably.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Well, you obviously need to pull your boots on and walk out. Just call a "family law" attorney and do what that attorney says as far as how to leave and what about finances. He can put a hold on the accounts, etc. Stop your husband from funneling wherever it's going. You just have to do it. Make that phone call and follow that attorney's advice. I would get out asap one way or the other. But you've got to protect your joint funds.


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