# how to deal with the first few weeks of seperation and his abuse



## alienatedandalonewith3 (Aug 9, 2011)

im really needing some advice,stbx was served on the 29th,with divorce papers and restraining order,
december 1st he got fired for restraining order if i didnt reverse it,
i agreed only if they wrote the order into the degree,
december 8th,court i reversed it,he was ordered to pay morg and utilties,later that afternoon he cancels car insurance,tried to cancel cable and internet,
friday he called childrens school inquiring how they were gonna handle him coming up there,school called me immediatly i freaked withdrew kids from school
he came friday night got his things and anything else he could fit into his car,
his car died in driveway lol haaaaahahahaha,sorry couldnt resist it was funny
well this morning bright and early he shows up at kids school,talks to oldest daughter for 10 min,little one wasnt there she out sick
im frantic run up to school histerically crying proubly burnt my brakes out
i return home calm down and text him he can make arrangements with me to see kids or at least give me a heads up,i could have told him the little one was sick,
i then text him that our oldest has a basketball game and he can come to see the girls and i will sit on other side of gym,
NO RESPONSE:scratchhead:
im not trying to keep them from him but i will not let him manipulate me and fear he will try be sneaky and kidnap them
well then he calls my god daughter and wants to tell her not to be scared of him he done nothing wrong,wants too know her opinion of everything tells her if i wasnt white i would have just shut up and been happy with what he has provided for me
now im going todo nothing but struggle
but hes happy to give me a divorce hes soo happy im getting what i want
omg hes nuts

we return to court on the 5th of january for pdl,i just dont know how to handle this crap
it seems the more i try to be nice the more evil he gets or acts

please any advice on how to handle kids and everything intill some type of order is in place?

history married 10 years 8 months,
3 kids
hes emotionally verbally abusive,very controlling to me
no relationship oldest son abusive to him

update since this post he shut my electric off


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Well, he's in violation of the court order that said he had to pay your utilities, so I'd head back to court on the violation and request a restraining order to go with it. If you can't go back on the violation, then just go for the restraining order. Block him from you, the kids, the school....all of it. If he's not going to pay the bills anyway, who cares if he gets fired? If he was even actually going to get fired in the first place...it could just as easily have been something he said to get you to drop the order.


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## cyan (Dec 4, 2011)

You should seek counseling and support from a domestic violence agency. There are many kinds of abuse, including emotional, mental, sexual, financial, etc. and you absolutely qualify for their services even though you haven't been physically abused (or not that we're aware of). Please call a domestic violence hotline in your area, let them know what's going on and ask for a referral to an agency that will help you with counseling and advice. You may even qualify to go into a safe house, depending on your circumstances. You and your kids really need that support right now, and that's what those agencies are there for. 

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.


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