# Big problems



## Problem_King (Oct 8, 2012)

So I have been married 4 years. And every year my wife go through physical altercation....no I don hit her in fact she hits me. I of course just hold her till she calm down but now it has made me fall out of love with her and find myself trying to be with other ppl I tried leaving but I am surrounded by ppl who don't believe in divorce. And make it hard for me to walk away. We have 2 kids and there honestly the only reason why I am still married. I have expressed this to my wife and she's during her best but I still am not in love with her anymore


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Your wife is abusing you and this must stop. It is, of course, very damaging to you and your self-esteem, but it's also not good for the children to be raised in an atmosphere of violence.

Tell your wife that she must get counseling for her issues, because none of this is healthy for you or the children. If necessary, call the police and lay a charge against her for assault.


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## Problem_King (Oct 8, 2012)

Yea I'm past that now. So I'm trying to figure out how to stay in this relationship


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## iBolt (Aug 28, 2012)

Problem_King said:


> Yea I'm past that now. So I'm trying to figure out how to stay in this relationship and I already cheated twice because of this issue so I don't know how to leave or how to stay


You may soon find that your cheating TWICE *because *your wife uses you as a punching bag annually will not go down well on TAM (if some of my good friends on here pick up on your thread)

I am sorry bud, there is NO excuse for cheating. Does your wife know that you cheated on her?


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## Samayouchan (Jun 1, 2012)

Problem_King said:


> I have expressed this to my wife and she's during her best *but I still am not in love with her anymore*


If you are not in love with her anymore, then there is no reason to stay sadly. No since in staying in a one sided relationship.


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## Dustball (May 16, 2012)

You say you are surrounded by people who don't believe in divorce. 2 things come to mind:

1) How do YOU feel about divorce? The rest of the world has no business telling you how they feel about divorce because they are not the ones getting abused by your wife. It's easy to point fingers when you are in a happy relationship.

2) Divorce is not a religion to believe in. It's a resource to be used when there is nothing else to do. I don't think one should remain in a miserable abusive relationship. This is where divorce comes in. It's not something that we crave or wish, it is a necessary means to get away from someone who mistreats you. Pretty much like surgery, no one wants to have surgery, but if necessary, we do it.

To all those who "don't believe in marriage", I would agree with them if fixing a relationship could be handled by one person. If I could say "Ah, let me do it" like I do with many other things, I would have saved my marriage. But to fix it, an effort must be put by 2 people, and if one says no to trying to change, listening, understanding, counseling, etc, the battle is lost no matter how much the other person fights for the relationship.

Should you be punished forever and ever by living in misery until death do you part because you didn't choose right? Yes, yes, the vows, blablabla, the vows not only state the until death do you part thing, they also talk about love and respect, and I believe she broke her vows before you did. Why should you hold your end of the bargain when the other person doesn't? You don't pay money on a car that is not delivered to you at a car dealership, right?

As for the children, as a woman who grew up in a broken home, get out. I prefer 2 separate parents being a good team, than together parents being miserable. It can never end well. Kids will realize sooner or later that the love is gone, and God forbid they witness the abuse or that's exactly what they'll learn. Staying for the kids is a huge burden on their shoulders. Don't do this to them. Yes, they will hurt if you two split, but they'll get over it and adapt.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

It doesnt matter what the people around you believe in, YOU are the one being abused and living in a miserable situation. If you want out, then get out.


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