# dont know what to do!



## layla-belle (Jan 29, 2014)

hi im 26yrs old been with my husband for 8 years we separated 3months ago as he has said he has gambling and drinking problems I said I will support him through this but he doesn't want to know all I keep getting is I don't know what I want, he said he doesn't want a divorce he just goin through this problem on his own I haven't spoken to him in a month now ..but he manages to pick up the phone to my mum which is frustrated cos out of all the people he should be able to talk to me if I call he don't answer or reply back im starting to think hes just saying all this crap as a way out I jus don't know what to do im tryin to just move on with my life at the moment starting a new jobs next week im thinking to give him another month and then just turn up where he works put all cards on the table....


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Punctuation is your friend.

But if he hasn't decided after 4 months whether he wants to work seriously on the marriage and himself, then yes, id think you should be taking thing in your own hands. You could try attending Alanon meetings or some other support group for people in relationships with addicts.

C


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## layla-belle (Jan 29, 2014)

thanks for the advice I was going to give him until the end of this month, to tell me what he wants cause I cant stay like this driving me nuts crying day/night over what to do and plus scared just incase I hear something I don't want to hear!


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

You have to ignore him and DON'T call him for at least a month. If he has someone else it will come out, sooner or later. His behavior is very suspicious of an affair. I assume the drinking/gambling are not brand new behaviors? Something else is going on with him. You deserve better.


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## layla-belle (Jan 29, 2014)

the drinkin and gambling I found out 4months ago he said hes been doin that for a year I have been igoring him as hard as it is...that's what I am thinking of an affair. but before we separated it was all good it was like nothing is wrong and it just all came out like this. cos I noticed something wasn't right so I packed my stuff and that's when he told me about his problems. and I must admit it does stack up but I just don't understand why hes igoring me I told him if theres someone else just tell me and I will move on but he denies and jus says its him. I just don't know what to do or what to believe


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## MissFroggie (Sep 3, 2013)

He left 3 months ago.
He hasn't spoken to you for a month and ignores your calls.
He calls your mum but ignores you.
You are going to wait another month for things to change.

Why? So you'll waste another month of your life waiting about for him and letting him drag you through these emotions?

I think you should stop calling him. See a solicitor and start D. Tell your mum that she is to stop taking his calls - she is YOUR mum not his! Get some counselling specifically for the family of addicts. Move on with your life.

If you do these things you will either end up D and move on with your life or he will realise he needs to change and will commit to that. Don't just be there for whenever he needs/wants you, make him work for it or it is over anyway. x


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Is he still drinking and gambling? Spending marital assets?


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## layla-belle (Jan 29, 2014)

yeah I think I will take your advice on that talk to a solicitor maybe shake him up abit I gotta stop acting desperate and chasing him

I know he is still drinking not so sure about the gambling


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