# Posted Before, No Answers. Please Respond!



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I posted about this a few weeks ago and nobody responded. I'm not sure why, but I will try again. 

I am visiting my long distance in laws next week. Our relationship has been largely over the phone and through letters. We have not spent much time in each other's presence. 

It is daunting to go from being over the phone, to staying at their home for 4 days. My mother in law is a kind and decent woman, though she gets jealous when her son's wives have material things; my guess is that Ma was deprived of many things she wanted. After being subjected to an abusive mom, I can certainly handle a little grumbling. 

Dad is a jovial, relaxed sort who is easy to please. He just wants to drink his rum, do jigsaw puzzles to keep his mind sharp and play with his grandaughter.:smthumbup:

My husband's little town only has whites in it; I am the only African American they have even had a conversation with! The women in my husband's family, including Ma, often tell each other how "wonderful" they think I am. I feel like all eyes will be on me; my husband has warned me that the town will be abuzz when we get there. I am SCARED. 

Any tips for me?


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## girlfromipanema (Aug 26, 2011)

My advice would be try to relax and be your wonderful self. 

I was in a similar situation. My H's family lives in another country and my first visit was 5 weeks long. Some members of his family don't speak English, so communication was a challenge at times, but I enjoyed the "break" from making conversation. I'm more of an introvert, especially during my initial meeting of new people. The more I was relaxed and myself, the more I felt I belonged. 

I'm sure the town will be abuzz, but at least you're giving them something new and exciting to talk about. 

I'm sure it'll be fine. Really, just try to be as relaxed as possible, don't worry about what people are thinking of you and enjoy the gift of spending time with his family. I'm sure it'll be great.


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## girlfromipanema (Aug 26, 2011)

P.S. if your avatar is a photo of you and your H, the town might not even notice you are of a different race. Your skin color and his skin color are so close. You are beautiful, so just smile, exude confidence and be wonderful. ;-)


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

be yourself. its all you can do. good luck


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

GFI, that is not me. It is a picture of another successful interracial couple. 

I love your screen name; beautiful song.


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