# Midlife Crisis or marriage over?



## Shaun70 (Dec 31, 2016)

Wife goes out on a girls night for a neighbors birthday (first time doing this bar club thing). They hit bars and clubs stay out late. When she comes home all she can talk about is how all these men were hitting on her. Then all of a sudden she starts going out clubbing/dancing with new lady friends soon after. All totally uncharacteristic of her she never liked going to bars or staying out late. She quit wearing her wedding ring a few years back after she took up working out and lost weight. Now its like every few weeks she shares a new story how men are asking for her phone number. We talked and I got the "I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore and she got married to young", stuff like this!! Friend says him and his wife had lots of issues when they hit the empty nest stage of life with their marriage but they rekindled and are good again. But his wife didn't do the bar thing like my wife.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Do you have any kids? Does she work?

Yes, red danger flags are everywhere.

Be prepared for the responses. We are here to help. 

Your story is not unique. If you follow the advice you might save this marriage. 

Weakness is your enemy. You are showing typical weakness. Your wife has lost respect for you. 

There is one thing you must focus on: You have to be willing to end the marriage to save it. No idle threats. 

Her behavior is marriage busting. She either ends this behavior or you end the marriage. She will say you are controlling. Don't fall for that cheater excuse. 

Good luck.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

Red flags!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Oh, and to add:

A MLC means "I want to bang another guy".


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MLC....This is common in both sexes. It occurs between ages ~38 to 60. Sixty is not mid-life but the feelings of uncertainty and anxiousness are still present.

By her telling you that men are finding "Her" attractive, she is telling you that "You" do not. Or, that you do not say it enough. She may be actually asking for a restraining hand. 

She is telling you one or more of the below things:

1) She likes the complements. They make her feel wanted and sexy. 
2) You, on the other hand, do not make her feel sexy and wanted. Your interaction with her does not bring out the love and lusty feelings that estrogen, dopamine and norepinephrine do. These other men cause these chemicals to rise. These give her the red flushed face, rapidly beating heart and moist nether region. You give her high levels of serotonin. You put her to sleep. 
3) She may have contempt for you and she is rubbing her actions and feelings in your face. God, for your sake, I hope that this is not the case.
4) Or, she is warning you "honestly" what she is feeling. She wants you to stop her before "things" go too far.

You must stop her from going out....or you must go with her. and cok block her. Her girl friends are toxic to your marriage. Get rid of them, pronto. Be strong, get control of her and your marriage.

Do this now before she crashes your marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

A midlife crisis is experienced between the ages of 40 and 60. It was first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung and is a normal part of the maturing process. Most people will experience some form of emotional transition during that time of life. A transition that might cause them to take stock in where they are in life and make some needed adjustments to the way they live their life. Most seem to come through the process smoothly without making major life changes. 

ref: Cathy Meyer


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Shaun70 said:


> Wife 43 goes out on a girls night for a neighbors birthday (first time doing this bar club thing). They hit bars and clubs stay out late. When she comes home all she can talk about is how all these men were hitting on her. Then all of a sudden she starts going out clubbing/dancing with new lady friends soon after. All totally uncharacteristic of her she never liked going to bars or staying out late. She quit wearing her wedding ring a few years back after she took up working out and lost weight. Now its like every few weeks she shares a new story how men are asking for her phone number. We talked and I got the "I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore and she got married to young", stuff like this!! Friend says him and his wife had lots of issues when they hit the empty nest stage of life with their marriage but they rekindled and are good again. But his wife didn't do the bar thing like my wife.


Shaun,

I'll give it to you straight
(1) she's already giving her phone number to other men. It doesn't take a hell of a lot foe a woman to go out dressed up hot to a pick up place or bar and get asked for her phone number. Her telling you is just in her way of justifying what she is doing in her mind, as is the "married young" thing. 
(2) going out with girlfriends once in a while and not to a pick up joint is totally normal. But a married women who NEEDS to go put herself on display for strange men on a regular basis is inevitably going to do something inappropriate, especially if she is conveniently leaving her wedding rings at home and telling her husband tough crap I'm having fun getting pursued.
(3) who are the girlfriends. My guess, married and also cheating or divorced and looking, but not your FRIENDS nor friends of your marriage. They will encourage her to ignore your protests as controlling.

If you read a book called "Not Just Friends" or some of the other books, you will read that after the workplace as an incubator of affairs, these GNO romps if they are regular and unaccountable are the next best chance for an affair to start. 

Get moving on checking on her


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

How many of her new lady friends are either divorced, single, or cheaters? That's a pretty good indication of the kind of pressures or encouragements she will be getting while out.

You should read "5 Love Languages" as a quick first step here.

I also think you should do a little sleuthing. Check the credit cards for how much, where, and at what time she is charging things. If she is never buying drinks at the bar, that is a red flag. If there are charges from unexpected places, that is a red flag.

I would carefully check her dresser drawers and closet for sexy stuff you never see. Sexy underwear especially. Be sure to put everything back precisely as you found it. You're also looking for things like a secret cell phone ("burner phone"), condoms, hotel key cards, or other objects which could be souvenirs from trysts. Search her car carefully, too, including all the compartments and cubbies and the spare tire area. Under the seats, everywhere. Just to be sure.

One possibility is she is not actually going out with the ladies but is in fact seeing an affair partner. Reviewing her cell phone bill for frequently called numbers, numbers called or texted immediately before or during those GNOs, and perhaps a sudden jump in the number of text messaging compared to before all of this new behavior.

A more likely scenario is she is engaging in disloyal behavior with random men on the nights out. This disloyal behavior could be anything from flirting to sex in cars. She will likely not see flirting as a problem, but it is. She has already said she is getting pleasure from it, so it is not harmless goofing off. I actually tend to believe she isn't having sex or giving blow jobs yet because she is telling you she is enjoying men giving her attention. If she were getting busy with other men she would likely be very cautious about saying anything which would make you suspicious. If she suddenly stops telling you about men flirting with her or if she suddenly becomes more secretive about these outings, that would be a big red flag.

A final scenario is she is not having any kind of physical contact with others on these nights out, but she is dissatisfied with your marriage.

I think you need to start working on improving the marriage. Read the 5LL book. Then one of the other excellent marriage books. Approach your wife about wanting to get the marriage back in shape and being more fun for both of you. Use the books as a vehicle to have discussions. Seriously consider getting into marriage counseling with your wife.

In summary, I wouldn't be paranoid yet that she is sexually unfaithful, but the path she is on could easily lead to it. Now is the time to intervene before it becomes a disaster. Do a little bit of searching just to rule out affairs. You haven't yet described other behaviors which usually accompany affairs.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

In a nutshell:

The midlife crisis thing is bs.

Your wife is cheating on you. Ask to borrow her phone. The look on her face will tell you all you need to know. 

This matters not, however:
1) you should have nixed the going out to clubs. That's not for married women.
2). You should have had her stuff boxed up the second time it happened.

You need to ask yourself why you didn't stand up to her over this blatant disrespect for you and the marriage.

I figure this:
As said, she will call you controlling when you ask her to stop. She won't.

You will ask for her phone. She will freak and say you are violating her "privacy".
You will cave.

She has given you the ILYBINILWY speech.

Here is your only response:

Well, I love you wife, and I want you to be happy. I will file for divorce tomorrow and you can move out. I will expect ALL your things to be out of the house by the end of the week. We will split out assets equally and you will be free to pursue someone who you are capable of loving at the clubs, as you have been doing for a while now. Good luck.

Then not another freaking word to her, and actually go file for divorce. Hand her the papers as soon as you get them.

If you speak to her again before handing her divorce papers, you are screwed.
If you show one iota of sadness over this, you are screwed.
If you act anything but happy about the whole deal, you're screwed.

The only chance you have is that she gets scared and freaks out and comes back to her senses. Then you can decide if you want to cancel the proceedings for divorce.

Most likely, the other docks she's been unloading will have her thinking she's such a great catch that she'll be out the door. You will be horrified and crushed over this. Never let her know it bothers you. Never ever beg or shed a tear. That will ensure absolute metaphysical certitude that she will be repulsed, and again, you're screwed.

However, what you've been told is your only chance. And 99% chance she's gone either way.

In truth, you should do a 180 and move forward with your life without her. Once they make up their mind, this shot only gets worse.

I worry that you will do what I did and beg and plead and "fight" for your marriage. This will only repulse them and send them running. It will guarantee failure.
But it's your choice. If you're not strong enough to follow my advice, there's nothing that can help you.

You basically need to do the exact opposite of what your emotions make you want to do.

There is no talking about this, there's only taking action.
She isn't wanting marriage, and no logic or reason will ever make her want the marriage. Any nice-nice you do will be perceived as weakness and your attempt to manipulate her.

I've been through it. But it's up to you. I realize my advice is hard to carry out. I couldn't do it. I'm divorced.

Btw, you feel your situation is unique and different. It's not.
We could tell you what she'll say next, it's almost like a script from a movie.

I'm sorry, it is what it is.
Good luck, you're gonna need it. I


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Check your phone bill. You can't make her do anything or fix her but unless you want a life of hell you'd better get strong quick and put up some boundaries. Your life is what you make it.

If you hang back and are afraid to make her mad you'll get what she wants to give you. Being weak at this time will get you nothing.

Read up http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0LE..._Guy.pdf/RK=0/RS=lXIjkUDP0o1LV93.8oII4FohGOI-


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Crying, begging or pleading at this time will only make you unnattractive. Don't do the "Pick me dance" either.

You are probably headed for a tough time. It'll be tougher if you stay in denial of where you're at and who she is becoming.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Why don't you check out what she's doing at these bars and clubs? 
See the truth for yourself. 
Who knows maybe a younger gal might chat you up and your wife might come running back! 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Take what these guys are telling you to heart. 

Sounds like your wife has checked out. Sorry friend.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I agree. You can't just let the "I'm not sure I'm in love with you" just hang. Either she commits (NOW) to working on the marriage together to get the spark back, or YOU start working to separate your lives toward divorce. No "I need time to think about it" that's bull****!T. If it's that hard a choice that she needs to think about it, she doesn't really want the marriage.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Livvie said:


> I agree. You can't just let the "I'm not sure I'm in love with you" just hang. Either she commits (NOW) to working on the marriage together to get the spark back, or YOU start working to separate your lives toward divorce. No "I need time to think about it" that's bull****!T. If it's that hard a choice that she needs to think about it, she doesn't really want the marriage.


Shaun,

Please read the above again. And then again. What she has told you is she is going to continue to do what she wants and you are going to suck it up and be there to pay her bills. She has taken the first step already to make your maraaige an open marriage that you did not sign up for. And only you can end it.

Check the phone bill
Put a VAR in her car
Put a GPS on the car
See an attorney to find out your rights
Tell her this **** stops or she can do it but not as your wife.

OR 

Do nothing
Let her cheat at her hearts content will you sit home with your gut churning

Seeems like an easy choice to me, and stop making excuses for her. There are none. She either wants to be married or not. Not a difficult question.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

When a woman loses respect for her husband, no matter if it is all in her head or for any of his failings, she will never really ever get the respect back. 

Women are strange creatures that way. They can love a man so intensely they can actually hurt themselves, but when they make the decision to "not love" their man anymore....well it's like flipping a breaker. It's done. No going back, no more loving him. Once a woman pulls the switch on her love, it is never coming back.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Why don't you check out what she's doing at these bars and clubs?
> See the truth for yourself.
> Who knows maybe a younger gal might chat you up and your wife might come running back!
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Mrs. Aldi,

Yes, wouldn't that be nice! ...... My, my, you have hardened a bit these last few months. Revenge affair? Uttered by thou? I know your are kidding? Your outward, public mind kids. The maturing back of the stored mind....Not!


In reality, that would be climbing into Diabhal's bed.......... D'aul, in male form has a straw bed ready for OP's wife. Ringless, she will disrobe for a wretched and opportunist Knave.

The Knave will have his way with her. She will lose her way with OP; furthering this steamy wave away from BH's grasp. 

Her breasts, are no longer OP's'. Those succulent fruit, afore closely held..... now, or soon will be, a common man's playthings.

If OP also steps out of his marital boundaries, he too would be another slinky snake that slides into one of Dark Master's lusty demons. 

He can wait to sample young maidens. When his divorce is final. His head high in the air.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> Mrs. Aldi,
> 
> Yes, wouldn't that be nice! ...... My, my, you have hardened a bit these last few months. Revenge affair? Uttered by thou? I know your are kidding? Your outward, public mind kids. The maturing back of the stored mind....Not!
> 
> ...



:|


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

''I'm not sure I'm in love with you anymore'' ...whether you're married or not, usually means that the person wants to test the waters with others, and then they'll let you know if they're still in love. lol Sadly, that's what it means. If you don't want to be used and put on a shelf while your wife sleeps with other men in order to 'find herself' ...then, you should probably consider leaving. I'm not into staying with cheaters, because no one has to, they just they think they do. Sorry you find yourself in such a situation.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Mrs. Aldi,
> 
> Yes, wouldn't that be nice! ...... My, my, you have hardened a bit these last few months.


Forgive me, I'm turning 30 in February! 



> Revenge affair? Uttered by thou? I know your are kidding? Your outward, public mind kids. The maturing back of the stored mind....Not!


Not an revenge affair, we don't know if his wife is conducting in an affair, but she is seeking validation from bar bums, he should check out her desperate behaviour. If a younger lady should show him attention, his wife might see and realise the error of her ways. 




> In reality, that would be climbing into Diabhal's bed.......... D'aul, in male form has a straw bed ready for OP's wife. Ringless, she will disrobe for a wretched and opportunist Knave.
> 
> The Knave will have his way with her. She will lose her way with OP; furthering this steamy wave away from BH's grasp.
> 
> ...


Do you write romance novels? You should! Some beautiful writing there.  



Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Shaun70 (Dec 31, 2016)

One thing I've learned over the last year dealing with this and reading books on marriage is couples must communicated better during those crazy busy years raising kids. I sure wish I knew then what I know now when it comes to relationship issues! I was busy with work at times (travel) which was an issue sometimes but apparently more than I thought! As one of the big things she has finally now said is she has a whole sh*t load of RESTENTMENT towards me (some stuff I had no clue) that she can't get over.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

She's looking. She'll leave when she finds her courage. Do the 180 and file for divorce. If you have children, get some evidence on her an file for custody. Don't bother wasting your love on a woman who doesn't want it. 

It's probably not her fault. Her hormones are all over the place. You don't have to be her cuckold. Just see a counselor to help you deal with this. See an attorney. Get your ducks in a row and drop her on her @ss. She has lost her way and will not find it for several years. It won't be with you. You are just her safety net for now. 

Get it done. Don't let her ruin you. She will and if you don't do anything, she'll think it didn't bother you.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Forgot to add that she can easily bring home some nice herpes or syphilis. I guess you don't care enough about yourself to worry about getting an sti or std? 

Forget feeling sorry for yourself. Feel good about who you are and know that she is the pos. You are better than she ever was. Get moving on living a life that you will be happy with. No woman who is fooling around like that has a bit of respect for you. She only cares about herself and what her friends tell her she needs. You can't fight those friends. They provide her with fun. If you do nothing, she will lose more respect for you. At first, she will be thankful. Then, she will see you for the doormat you are. 

Don't be a doormat. Be the man you know you are. Take charge of your life. Do things for yourself and your future. Forget her an find a better woman. A piece of @ss is a piece of @ss. Get one attached to a better woman.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You didn't do anything wrong brother. 

Your wife is feeding you the same "resentment" bullish!t that unhappy people like her spew whenever they have to find a way to let themselves off the hook. She knows she is doing you wrong, but she has to find a way to justify it. So she re-writes the history of your marriage, making you out to be this cruel, controlling, insensitive jerk. She has to. Her conscience and her urges are in conflict, and when that happens she has to transfer the blame somewhere. 

Do not accept her bullsh!t. Next time she feeds you that line you say: "I am not responsible for your unhappiness. I have never been responsible for your happiness either. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you were angry or hurting or unsatisfied with me as a husband, you should have come me to me years ago and told me, so that I would have had the opportunity to do something about it. But instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, you wait until now to dump all this bullsh!t on me and lay the blame on me for your unhappiness. You're a fvcking liar and a coward. If freedom is what you want, you will get it. I'm seeing a lawyer this week..."

Say that to her and see what clever response she comes up with. 

You have to be strong my friend. Do not let her walk all over you and try to make you believe her lies.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> You didn't do anything wrong brother.
> 
> Your wife is feeding you the same "resentment" bullish!t that unhappy people like her spew whenever they have to find a way to let themselves off the hook. She knows she is doing you wrong, but she has to find a way to justify it. So she re-writes the history of your marriage, making you out to be this cruel, controlling, insensitive jerk. She has to. Her conscience and her urges are in conflict, and when that happens she has to transfer the blame somewhere.
> 
> ...


I like this post a million times. Read it again and again!!


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## Shaun70 (Dec 31, 2016)

STD's !! I still like to believe she's not that type of person and would end it before moving on to someone else. But whatever were basically house mates not husband/wife. 

I do like the "I am not responsible for your unhappiness" line. This is what's been so frustrating why didn't she say more years ago. I said its like your justifying your actions now for stuff I did 10-15 years ago.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Shaun70 said:


> STD's !! *I still like to believe she's not that type of person and would end it before moving on to someone else.* But whatever were basically house mates not husband/wife.
> 
> I do like the "I am not responsible for your unhappiness" line. This is what's been so frustrating why didn't she say more years ago. I said its like your justifying your actions now for stuff I did 10-15 years ago.


Yeah, we all would. You don't know the power of those raging hormones. Read up on peri-menoupause. There are threads here. There are plenty of women who do not find another man during this period of time. Some will spend till they are broke. There are many ways it manifests. Look at the evidence. Those women who spend, don't go out like that. I've talked with some. This is normal only for some.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Few questions @Shaun70....

1) How old are you and your wife? 

2) How long have you two been married? Is this the first marriage for both? 

3) Has there ever been infidelity in the past by either of you? 

4) How long have you two been living as housemates? 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


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## Shaun70 (Dec 31, 2016)

Lila said:


> Few questions @Shaun70....
> 
> 1) How old are you and your wife? Mid 40's
> 
> ...


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Did the start of the girls night out bar hopping coincide with the living like housemates? 

You also said she lost weight a couple of years ago. Was she a much heavier person before her weight loss? Do you know what prompted her to lose the weight? 

You said she tells you all about these men who hit on her at bars. Do you compliment her often?

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> :|


Bandit! You do not get it.

You swing a hammer.

I sometimes swing a violin with poisonous barbs protruding.

If every man dressed the same and spoke the same dialect, the women would leave the Earth seeking the former Stars.

I too can swing a hammer, fire a mortar, fire an RPG, aim a scoped, heavy barreled M-14...and hit my target.

I would die in prison!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Listen, man. You can compliment her a million times just as some of the greatest poets would. It doesn't have the weight of someone she doesn't know randomly telling her she is hot or some such thing. 

You have to do something that shows her you don't give a damn what she does. You can't, or she will rip your heart out and smile. You'll be the bad guy. You already are, or she wouldn't be looking around. 

If you stay here, you'll understand very well how you made all the mistakes, just like you were asked how much you complimented her. She has a responsibility to her marriage and herself, to let you know when something isn't quite right. She would have, if she really loved you. 

She's found herself a new life she never knew she could have. You can't stop it. You can only deal with it. Don't let others make you believe it's your fault. Move on this.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> Bandit! You do not get it.
> 
> You swing a hammer.
> 
> ...


Okay.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

straightshooter said:


> Shaun,
> 
> Please read the above again. And then again. What she has told you is she is going to continue to do what she wants and you are going to suck it up and be there to pay her bills. She has taken the first step already to make your maraaige an open marriage that you did not sign up for. And only you can end it.
> 
> ...


Read http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html and do what it says. Otherwise you are flailing around in the dark.

Although I estimate 99% probability she is already cheating on you even without any further information; there are enough red flags to outfit a Communist convention.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Shaun70 said:


> One thing I've learned over the last year dealing with this and reading books on marriage is couples must communicated better during those crazy busy years raising kids. I sure wish I knew then what I know now when it comes to relationship issues! I was busy with work at times (travel) which was an issue sometimes but apparently more than I thought! As one of the big things she has finally now said is she has a whole sh*t load of RESTENTMENT towards me (some stuff I had no clue) that she can't get over.
> 
> We've always got along fine we've never had any crazy drama or anything. Stupid me I thought all was well and in time when things slowed down we'd work out the little communication/closeness issue. I guess I F'd up as when this first started with her being distant 1st I got resentful myself which made things worse. Now that I know what the heck is going on I've been working to try and make this work. I do think she's contemplating which direction to go : stay with me or move on and find a happier life with out me. If she pulls the plug good job or not she'll be doing just fine financially unless lawyers take it all. So much for busting my ass all these years building my business. Basically she's has control as what the heck can I do other than wait it and see what happens.


When in an affair they will use anything to justify it. Anything and everything will do for an excuse. There is no excuse. Very typical. Cheater script.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Shaun70 said:


> STD's !! *I still like to believe she's not that type of person and would end it before moving on to someone else.* But whatever were basically house mates not husband/wife.
> 
> I do like the "I am not responsible for your unhappiness" line. This is what's been so frustrating why didn't she say more years ago. I said its like your justifying your actions now for stuff I did 10-15 years ago.


You're like many who come here wanting to believe because not to is unbelievable. Being in denial will just keep you in limbo longer.

Ignorance is bliss until it isn't.

I bet you never thought you be in this position either did you?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> When in an affair they will use anything to justify it. Anything and everything will do for an excuse. There is no excuse. Very typical. Cheater script.


Yep.

She's cheating.

If it would help you at all in terms of getting a better divorce settlement, do what you can to pursue proof.

If not then just divorce.

Start talking w/ divorce attorneys first thing tomorrow morning.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> You didn't do anything wrong brother.
> 
> Your wife is feeding you the same "resentment" bullish!t that unhappy people like her spew whenever they have to find a way to let themselves off the hook. She knows she is doing you wrong, but she has to find a way to justify it. So she re-writes the history of your marriage, making you out to be this cruel, controlling, insensitive jerk. She has to. Her conscience and her urges are in conflict, and when that happens she has to transfer the blame somewhere.
> 
> ...


Absolutely. Correct. 

She will rewrite history and you will believe it. Why? Because you want to. Why? Because if it's all your fault, then you in your weakened state of mind, think you can fix it.

You basically just said in your last post that you're going to be a cuckold because "what are you going to do??????".
Keep that shot up and see how long your marriage lastS.
If you filed and went on with your life and put her out to fend for herself, she might respect you and get over the penis she's been getting elsewhere.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

"Basically she has control......"

Yep, as long as you're believing her bull**** and doing nothing,she's in total control.

1st, she'll make you believe this is all your fault.
2nd, she'll want a separation. Just to "find herself" (aka, f every **** she can find).
3rd, she'll string you along with texts and maybes and missing you BS while she bangs other dudes---giving you just enough to keep hoping she'll come around and keeping you in limbo and on her hook. She'll use you financially, and emotionally.
4th, she'll have talked to multiple lawyers and found out how to give you a total 100% financial screwing. You'll never know what hit you until it's over.

You'll say "I don't know who she is anymore", "I didn't think she could do something like this", and last of all --- "I should have listened to you TAM guys".
It'll all be too late. Get a lawyer tomorrow. Ask her to leave.


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