# OW is IM me when am on computer!



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Am upset that this OW seems not to be moving on. Other day she IM saying that hubby had IM her again. I didn't respond but I did tell hubby he says he hasn't talked to her and for me to stop the lie that the OW didn't IM me because you can't on the forum I was on. I told him yes you can but at the time our computer was down. So the next time he was on the computer I showed him that yes u could IM on this forum he said he never know that he always pm people. I told him not to call me a lair anymore that am not dumb. Well she has IM again saying that she can't wait to see him this weekend that I better stay close to him before she take him away. I know that she will be at the racing track where we will be this weekend and I know she has broken up with her boyfriend (because he hits her) So what do you think I should do? Hubby gets mad anytime I bring her up and am tried of all the drama.


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## NightOwl (Sep 28, 2009)

Ignore her and live your life the way you were planning to. Have a plan with your husband for what to do if she confronts either or both of you in public.

The OW shows up to the clubs where my partner DJs, and it's certainly uncomfortable, but we are learning to ignore her. It's her way of getting attention and inserting herself in our lives. But we are not letting her "win" by changing our plans because of her. We just ignore/avoid her and usually she goes home early when she realizes she has no shot.


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## tornbetweenthemboth (Oct 21, 2009)

Omg r u guys serious u can all end up in the same club and look away....omg i still dont know what I'm gonna do...but ummm look away no that i can't do....wish u luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

NightOwl~am glad you can ignore the OW but am still in the anger part of my hubby EA I still dream of ways I can/could hurt this OW. I have never hated anyone so much as I do her. She keeps saying she is not a homewreaker hello if you encourage a married man to leave his wife what does that make you. I wish she would just go away and I never had to deal with her again but am not that lucky Hubby had to find a nut to have an EA with.


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## NightOwl (Sep 28, 2009)

mrsbroken said:


> NightOwl~am glad you can ignore the OW but am still in the anger part of my hubby EA I still dream of ways I can/could hurt this OW. I have never hated anyone so much as I do her. She keeps saying she is not a homewreaker hello if you encourage a married man to leave his wife what does that make you. I wish she would just go away and I never had to deal with her again but am not that lucky Hubby had to find a nut to have an EA with.


My experience is a bit different because I have never been mad at the OW. Upset, yes, but not mad. This is because she is mentally ill and refuses to get treatment. I work in the psychology field and if there's one thing I've learned is that acting crazy is what crazy people do. If they don't want help it's not worth getting mad over. Ultimately, she causes herself more suffering than I could ever dream of doing, at least mentally and emotionally. 

I know my experience isn't necessarily typical. And I'm not claiming that it's easy or fun when she shows up. It pretty much absolutely sucks but I know that it's not actually personal, it's just crazy being crazy. If it wasn't me and my partner it would be someone else, we are just a convenient target and she'll move on eventually.

I do sympathize with those of you who are angry at the OW, it makes complete sense and I'm sure that it would be much harder to deal with in person encounters if you have a real desire to physically harm the person.


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## Private Eye Wife (May 8, 2009)

Put an end to all contact by changing your email and phone numbers.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Your hubby may still be cheating, I am sorry but his actions are those of someone who is guilty, shifting blame to you. Why would you lie about her IM'ing you? Why on earth would he say that? Do not tolerate him calling you a liar. He is a liar, when he was unfaithful. You should ignore her IM's, can you block them? But his behavior is something different that should not be ignored. 

Some states you can do something about her harrassing you. I'd check in to that. You shouldn't have to put up with her.


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