# Feeling very alone



## Jessc (Jan 5, 2021)

Ok so sorry for the long post but I feel some background information may be needed.
I had been with my husband for 13 years. We have a house and a little one we got married Aug 19 Last march (2020) there was a knock on my door and 4 police officers were stood there, they were looking for my husband they searched my house with me and my little one in it. I was forced to move out for a week until my husband found alternative accommodation even now he can't stay at home and is still under investigation I tried for so long to be the supportive wife but I noticed in October (after they had extended his bail again) that he wasn't fighting he wasn't fighting to clear his name he wasn't fighting to keep us together as a family, even after I had spoke to him about my concerns in November I asked for a divorce but I haven't been brave enough to go any further I feel like I am letting my little one down, I feel I am a bad wife for walking away but honestly I can't keep on like this. But I have no idea where to go from here. Please can anyone advise or point me in the right direction. Thanks


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Jessc said:


> But I have no idea where to go from here. Please can anyone advise or point me in the right direction.


Yes. The right direction for you, and for your little one, is AWAY from this man. That's the first "place" I advise you to go, and take your child with you.

The second place you need to go is to a lawyer. You don't have to file for divorce, or begin any action, but make sure you understand clearly what the ramifications of those actions will be for you and for your child. Know where you stand, and where you will stand in the aftermath.



Jessc said:


> I feel like I am letting my little one down, I feel I am a bad wife for walking away


You would, in my mind, be letting your child down, if you stayed with him. Your child does not need exposure to someone who has sufficient appearance of being a major criminal that the police have carried their investigation to this kind of level.

As for being "a bad wife"..... you have to be your child's mother first, and foremost. If that makes you "a bad wife", it has to so be.



Jessc said:


> he wasn't fighting to clear his name


That would be because there is no truthful basis upon which he can "clear" it.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

He sounds guilty as hell.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

What has he done? The advise may depend on that, say if his crime was violent or drug related. Has he ever been in trouble with the police before? Been in jail? Why wasnt he allowed to stay in the house with you there?


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## Kamstel2 (Feb 24, 2020)

What was the charge?

Hang in there. Do you have any friends or family you can lean on? You may not realize this, but your friends and family WANT to help you (hopefully), they just may be fearful of being viewed as sticking their nose too far into your business. They probably don’t know HOW to help you.

Think of it this way, if you had a family member or friend in your situation, wouldn’t you want to help them? 

Good luck, stay strong, and do what is right for you and your little one.


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