# Hello



## JohnMcClain (9 mo ago)

Hello all, I have typed a long drawn out introductory post about 4 times now only to erase it all, im not a particularly articulate man and the emotions pour out and turn it all into a jumbled mess. 
I'm in my 40s and divorced for a little over a year now, a year and a half separated after finding my wife's infidelity with a family friend. The pain and anger never seem to subside and im pretty lost.
My ex is taking me back to court to try to move herself, her new fiance (the cheater) and my daughter out of state, 12 hours out of state. My daughter is 13 and I feel they will succeed. I really don't know how I'll be able to handle that, honestly my daughter is the only thing keeping me together.
I dont know what to do and I'm lost. Does the pain and humiliation ever go away?
John


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

What does your lawyer say about whether he/she thinks you can fight this?
How often do you have her under the child custody agreement?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

JohnMcClain said:


> Hello all, I have typed a long drawn out introductory post about 4 times now only to erase it all, im not a particularly articulate man and the emotions pour out and turn it all into a jumbled mess.
> I'm in my 40s and divorced for a little over a year now, a year and a half separated after finding my wife's infidelity with a family friend. The pain and anger never seem to subside and im pretty lost.
> My ex is taking me back to court to try to move herself, her new fiance (the cheater) and my daughter out of state, 12 hours out of state. My daughter is 13 and I feel they will succeed. I really don't know how I'll be able to handle that, honestly my daughter is the only thing keeping me together.
> I dont know what to do and I'm lost. Does the pain and humiliation ever go away?
> John


Your daughter is of an age that she is able to speak for herself. 
She may, for the sake of peace, go with the mother and her boyfriend.
All you may be able to do is let her know that she is always welcome.
No, deep wounds don't go away but they do subside over time.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I am thinking that at age 13, she has some say in where she lives. Beyond fighting her with an attorney, all I can really suggest is to keep as close of a relationship as possible. She may very well decide she wants to move back in a year or two where she will have even more of a say.

I really feel for you, I can almost feel your pain as I type.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

JohnMcClain said:


> Hello all, I have typed a long drawn out introductory post about 4 times now only to erase it all, im not a particularly articulate man and the emotions pour out and turn it all into a jumbled mess.
> I'm in my 40s and divorced for a little over a year now, a year and a half separated after finding my wife's infidelity with a family friend. The pain and anger never seem to subside and im pretty lost.
> My ex is taking me back to court to try to move herself, her new fiance (the cheater) and my daughter out of state, 12 hours out of state. My daughter is 13 and I feel they will succeed. I really don't know how I'll be able to handle that, honestly my daughter is the only thing keeping me together.
> I dont know what to do and I'm lost. Does the pain and humiliation ever go away?
> John


So sorry John, this is not a good situation you have.
Depending on your local laws, since D is 13, this could go the wrong way for you.

Maybe start thinking through the logistics of visitation, at least you’ll be prepared for that if it comes. I mean how can you go see her, when can she come see you, how will travel work, where you could stay, etc.

Hopefully you won’t have to have that talk.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Does your daughter want to move?


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## JohnMcClain (9 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> What does your lawyer say about whether he/she thinks you can fight this?
> How often do you have her under the child custody agreement?


I have her every day im off work, which equates to 15 days a month.


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## JohnMcClain (9 mo ago)

GusPolinski said:


> Does your daughter want to move?


According to her, yes. But she's very impressionable and my ex is controlling and manipulative (I know everyone says that)


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnMcClain said:


> I have her every day im off work, which equates to 15 days a month.


So have you got legal advise about the situation?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It depends on two things in most states. First is whether your state even allows a move. Second is age at which a child can choose which parent to live with. And maybe a third thing is how those two things work together or not if both parents are not in agreement about the move. In other words, a judge will have to get involved.


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