# Is your spouse supportive?



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

How supportive is your spouse/SO?

Does your spouse support your hobbies, goals and dreams? Do you have full spousal support on everything you need or want?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

My spouse has been nothing but a blessing in my life. He actually goes overboard with supporting me and I have to pull in the reins because we'd be broke and homeless! No, we wouldn't. On second thought, he'd become a slave to his work because he never wants me to want for anything. 

I can tell him anything, and not fear his response. If someone flirts with me, or if I'm angry about something he did, I know that it's not going to turn into an ongoing roundabout of argument because he'll step away from his feelings rather than let them control him.


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## Liam (Nov 13, 2009)

Yes, very much so  She always has been. But that doesn't mean she doesn't tell me if she disagrees with something. We have complete transparency in our marriage, which means we can be supportive of one another _and_ be prepared to be the 'bad guy' by disagreeing with something or being critical.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Unfortunately, no. But that's no surprise lol! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Supportive in everything but satisfying my sex drive.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> Unfortunately, no. But that's no surprise lol!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm so sorry to hear this. I had ZERO support from my first husband! It wasn't a nice way to live.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband supports me 100% and then some. He's wonderful in every way. I also support him just as much as he supports me. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have my husband.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Yes, but is realistic and that is necessary sometimes.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

H supported me emotionally and financially through my migration to the states, and he supports all my creative hobbies and loves to see the things I draw and write. Anything I want, we work out a plan to see it happen one day.

I am being more supportive of his hobbies too, and we're figuring out our budget so he can buy back all the music/computer gear he sold when we thought we were moving to England. He has his career goals that he needs a degree for, and I'd love to support him through that.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> Supportive in everything but satisfying my sex drive.


Ditto. She's supported every financial, work & other decision I've made - always discussed ahead of time. She also takes an interest in the things that interest me (e.g. hockey, racing). But never puts me 1st. Maybe she thinks I don't need that level of support.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband has supported me so lovingly throughout this life of mine... I look upon him as 
the Wind Beneath My Wings 

When I wasn't treated right at home - he wanted so badly to take me away from there....stood by me -even when I wasn't so nice.... Let's just say ...I could have an "attitude" back in the day... but he saw something in me....

He wanted to give me my every dream....Spoiled me really... told me so long as I took care of the house, the kids... I could have as many as I wanted... 

He held my hand while I cried many tears, was angry ...when infertility hit us after our 1st son...he supported me through all the tests, pokes & prodding, worrying & surgery.... 

He'd give me the world, if anything, he is almost too good to me. I've even told him to tone it down....be more selfish !! Crazy thing to hear I suppose ... Couldn't ask for a more loving man.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> How supportive is your spouse/SO?
> 
> Does your spouse support your hobbies, goals and dreams? Do you have full spousal support on everything you need or want?


I'll probably end up giving people cavities talking about how sweet my spouse is. 

He is very supportive. I think if I said I wanted to quit my lucrative job to be a pet sitter, he'd be supportive. I tell him pretty much everything and anything. I can always count on him to be in my corner. He's emotionally there for me. And I for him.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Why did I have to think so hard and long about that? Including looking up in the dictionary the word "support". She very much does. So the next question for me is, do I take her support for granted? 

Do I support her enough? Must sleep, was in such a good place before logging into TAM. Not that these are bad questions.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband always says 'yes'.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> How supportive is your spouse/SO?
> 
> Does your spouse support your hobbies, goals and dreams? Do you have full spousal support on everything you need or want?


Nope. More to the point, anything I want is a fight, a struggle to the death that she opposes just to oppose.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

oldgeezer said:


> Nope. More to the point, anything I want is a fight, a struggle to the death that she opposes just to oppose.


That just stinks! Fighting and arguing seems so pointless, especially if its excessive. There's never a win-win situation. This situation sounds a bit like my parents. My mother has to have it her way or its the highway. When you call her on it, she plays the victim.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

CharlieParker said:


> Why did I have to think so hard and long about that? Including looking up in the dictionary the word "support". She very much does. So the next question for me is, do I take her support for granted?
> 
> Do I support her enough? Must sleep, was in such a good place before logging into TAM. Not that these are bad questions.


Today is a new day. Hopefully it's a good day for you.

I don't think we intentionally take for granted the support from our spouses. Not unless we are extremely selfish. Unless your wife complains about not getting enough support, your most likely supporting her as much as you need to. Every situation/marriage is unique and different, we all have different needs.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Abra said:


> Nope. I asked him to go to a one night art class with me. He said he'd have to be drunk first. I asked him to go to a sporting event for my team (I've taken him to see his team on many occasions) - he said he was too busy. I asked him to use one of his hobbies to build me something (he likes to build things) for one of my hobbies and he refused, but continues to complain that I never ask for anything.


I wonder what in his mind what things you need to be asking?


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> How supportive is your spouse/SO?
> 
> Does your spouse support your hobbies, goals and dreams? Do you have full spousal support on everything you need or want?


No. Not really.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Today is a new day. Hopefully it's a good day for you.
> 
> I don't think we intentionally take for granted the support from our spouses. Not unless we are extremely selfish. Unless your wife complains about not getting enough support, your most likely supporting her as much as you need to. Every situation/marriage is unique and different, we all have different needs.


Yes, better day thanks. On taking for granted and being selfish it is something I pay attention to as early in our marriage I was a bit immature and it was a problem for me. Not anymore but it's good for me to think about it.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

It's my job to support my wife


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

My husband has always been incredibly supportive of my goals and dreams, and especially my hobbies, even when they begin to look more like an obsession than a hobby. I do the same for him. When I had the crazy dream of opening my own business he not only supported me but helped me find financing and put up the house he worked hard to buy us as colateral. That meant the world to me.
The great thing is we share most of the same goals and dreams, so it's easy for us to be supportive I suppose.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

This feels like the right place to put this because I am torn up today. 

A couple of weeks ago, our cat dropped from his very hefty 19 pounds (we'd weighed him for some medication he needed) to 10 pounds, 6 ounces. Vet said he had acute kidney failure and was going to die, but might stabilize with hydration treatments for a couple months. He advised us to feed him whatever he'd eat - tuna and chicken from a can, milk, whatever he'd take in to keep his liver functioning.

Well, he did ok for a few days, and this weekend went back to not eating, being lethargic, etc. My husband has had him for 15 years and couldn't take being there when he was put down, so I did it. I didn't think it would be too tough, because I had to put another cat down for the same reason a few years ago. She just fell asleep and it was done. 

Today, my cat fought me on the way to my truck, on the way into the vet's office, and on the examining table. He has never done that before. It sounds crazy, but I think he knew something was different and "wrong." 

My husband texted me from work even though he's not supposed to use his phone these days to ask if I was ok. 

I'm not, but I can't tell him what happened because it would crush him.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

He does not support my football team (SF 49ers)


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

KathyBatesel said:


> Today, my cat fought me on the way to my truck, on the way into the vet's office, and on the examining table. He has never done that before. It sounds crazy, but I think he knew something was different and "wrong."


Hugs. My wife had that same experience 8 or years ago. She still brings it up from time to time. Extra hard.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

KathyBatesel said:


> This feels like the right place to put this because I am torn up today.
> 
> A couple of weeks ago, our cat dropped from his very hefty 19 pounds (we'd weighed him for some medication he needed) to 10 pounds, 6 ounces. Vet said he had acute kidney failure and was going to die, but might stabilize with hydration treatments for a couple months. He advised us to feed him whatever he'd eat - tuna and chicken from a can, milk, whatever he'd take in to keep his liver functioning.
> 
> ...


I am so sorry.

We lost a cat 2 years ago to kidney failure. He was 16 with asthma and heart problems. A real trooper. We could not put him down. The last week of his life I was with him 24/7 feeding him and giving him water. I had a towel with a plastic bag underneath and changed it every time it needed it. He was not suffering. My husbands cat was very happy to be by my side and would purr when I pet him. I cried for days before and after he passed. He slept with us too and passed at 4:30am..


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

We were at very nearly that same point this last few days. Thanks, guys. I know it'll get easier with time... just sucks today.


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