# If you had to do it over, would you have waited until marriage to have sex?



## DeeKay1 (Mar 3, 2010)

If you had to do it over again, would you have waited until marriage to lose your virginity?

Why or why not? What are the pros and cons of "saving yourself" for marriage?


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

This is a tough one for me. I did lose it to my wife, however before we were married, and had we not, we wouldn't have the daughter we have today.

I think one of the pro's of saving it is that you know you are giving it to someone who is committed to you, not just because you put out, but because of who you are.

Another interesting thought: If everyone followed this route: Saving it until marriage, and maintaining that marriage, STD's would be "Cured" in one generation.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I would have still waited for intercourse (which we did) , but I would never have eliminated the "heavy petting" before marraige as it would have driven us both crazy with lust. 

For me, I was SO tight when we married, after 3 months of him trying to "get it in", I finally broke down & went to see my OBGYN, he scheduled me for a "Hymenectomy". Luckily they always give a blood pregnancy test before this procedure and boy was I shocked when I got the call I was pregnant! So no surgery - took us another 5 months for my husband to fully penetrate me - I was 8 months pregnant! 

So I must say, my determination to remain a Virgin did cause us a Bit of stress & worry in the beginning, my poor husband did not want to hurt me - or the growing baby! 

But I would not change any of it.  

It's a Precious thing to wait.


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## negru (Mar 25, 2010)

I lost my virginity at age 16 to the the girl who is now my wife. She was also a virgin. We've been together for 16 years and I wouldn't change a thing. Of course, I had no idea at the time that I was loosing my virginity to the girl I would eventually marry and have children with, but it's an amazing thing to know that we have only ever has sex with each other. It's something very special that we both share. 

That being said, I don't see any distinct reason why marriage should be the milestone you have to wait for. That tradition is a religious/social one, in my opinion, which isn't really based in the reality of todays world.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Nope. Can't even imagine anyone thinking that is a good idea, frankly. But I know that is because they just don't really understand. And they will probably say the same thing about me!

I would not trade my experiences for the world--good or bad. They make me who i am. Although I know I am lucky, in many ways, not to have anything traumatic in my past.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

I did the first time, and it didn't work out that well. We were incompatible in several important ways, and sex was one of those ways. We ended up divorced.

My now-wife and I were not virgins when we met, and didn't wait until we got married to have sex (given how things went with my first marriage, I wasn't going to make that mistake twice).

In a perfect world, I'd have married my now-wife first, and we would have been each other's first. But it's not a perfect world, and given my own experience I can't honestly say that I think waiting is a good idea.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I guess in a perfect world, romantically (and these days, health-wise) it's better to wait. But my first time was with someone I loved and got engaged to marry, we broke up before we married, but I never regretted the experience of losing my virginity to him. I was 18, he was my first love and I was his. It was quite nice.

I was with my husband later and to be honest, I'm glad I had a few experiences before marrying him as it makes me better appreciate my husband now and unlike my sister, who did marry her first, I don't wonder what other men are like. I think if I did wait until marriage I always would've been wondering what are others would be like. 

But I do encourage my teenage daughter to wait until she's with at least a person she loves very much, if not the one they marry. I think many people have intercourse way too casually.


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