# Do women prefer sexual liasons to be more vigorous, thoroughly heartily passion sessions or mellow slow sex, or both time to time?



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In reading different posts on type of sex women like - some say slow and gentle and some say they like fully enthusiastic vigorous actions in a round of sex with their ltr relationship spouse.

Vigorous sex best description I can put out there is involves no soft gentle rubbing but being had like it was intentional to be not aggressive or mean but actions rowdy and strongly conducted.

Gentle sex best description I have is slow rubbing, easy soft actions all the way, no speeding up to crescendo at the end, just sticking to slow, gentle.

Asking, as it seems like a lot of posts by guys start of saying I give her a slow, soft massage, and slowly gently have romantic sex.....

yet some women's posts are all about I like to feel like he just wants to eat me up and have me every which way until we collapse thoroughly worn out, and spent.

Seems like a good question. For women's opinions but all are invited to comment or add to the topic, adding any details to make this a more real life question.

Which do women prefer?

I'm thinking of those in ltrs but not limited too, of course.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Asking, as it seems like a lot of posts by guys start of saying I give her a slow, soft massage, and


...shortly afterwards, she starts snoring.

At least that's my experience, since as it turns out massages are so relaxing for my wife that she usually falls asleep while being massaged.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

I don’t know much about women, but I know the difference between a married and single woman.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm convinced it's both. I like both as well.

Mrs. C is a lady and loves being treated gently for the most part.

Sometimes though, she's just not in the mood for any pretense of civil behavior.

She needs to be taken occasionally.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In some conversations that came up from W sharing, it was eye opening from some of her girlfriends that told her the below, and it was a problem.

1. They wanted to have sex like they were having sex with a pirate, barbarian at least, sometimes. 

2. They got frustrated when their H treated them like dolls that could easily be broken and always, alway, did sex in a slow, gentle way....alway. And they were never ravished like they were the only ones that could drive their H to wildly passionate sex, and the gentle touching was getting old.

So I decided to put this question out there.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

In our home, it varies. Depends on mood, moment, desire, length of time without, etc. I've noticed that vigorous is enjoyed a lot by both of us. Then again, slow is sometimes good, too. That's why sex is so enjoyable. Each time can be so different than the previous or next time. Helps to change up positions, too. At least here it does. Sometimes, a little naughty whispering is a big help. Along with toys.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Personal said:


> At least that's my experience, since as it turns out massages are so relaxing for my wife that she usually falls asleep while being massaged.


Dude, if she's falling asleep, you're not doing it right.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> In reading different posts on type of sex women like - some say slow and gentle and some say they like fully enthusiastic vigorous actions in a round of sex with their ltr relationship spouse.
> 
> Vigorous sex best description I can put out there is involves no soft gentle rubbing but being had like it was intentional to be not aggressive or mean but actions rowdy and strongly conducted.
> 
> ...


I think it will be both at different times with a lot of women. I think when sex is new between two people, some women would prefer the guy was very decisive and feel that softness and tenderness was out of place early in the relationship before deeper feelings had formed. Put it that way.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Rayr44 said:


> I don’t know much about women, but I know the difference between a married and single woman.
> 
> Why are married women heavier than single women?
> Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge!


PSH. I take what's in the fridge to bed with me. 

The biggest joke in my house, when the asparagus comes off of the grill - is that the skillet is going to bed with me.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

In my marriage it is both each time, when wife is on top it is deep and slow, then when she has had a couple and riled up, she wants to be taken by me and turn my inner animal lose on her. Untamed, animalistic lust taking what I want from her and leave her a shaking, mumbling heap laying on the bed.

The good turn in my marriage coincided with becoming more authoritative and masculine. And taking my wife in the bedroom and not just being all sensitive and loving during sex.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Every single relationship I've been in, it's been both, some more one way than the other, but both.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> In my marriage it is both each time, when wife is on top it is deep and slow, then when she has had a couple and riled up, she wants to be taken by me and turn my inner animal lose on her. Untamed, animalistic lust taking what I want from her and leave her a shaking, mumbling heap laying on the ben.
> 
> The good turn in my marriage coincided with becoming more authoritative and masculine. And taking my wife in the bedroom and not just being all sensitive and loving during sex.


This!! This is the most romantic thing I've read on here. 

How do I get my husband to understand that it's ok to do this with his wife. He doesn't want to treat me like a ***** he says - I tell him all of the time - I am his wife - he can pay me when we are done and it can go straight in to savings


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Benbutton said:


> Every single relationship I've been in, it's been both, some more one way than the other, but both.


Variety so essential


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Guy


BecauseSheWeeps said:


> This!! This is the most romantic thing I've read on here.
> 
> How do I get my husband to understand that it's ok to do this with his wife. He doesn't want to treat me like a *** he says - I tell him all of the time - I am his wife - he can pay me when we are done and it can go straight in to savings


So you get my point 🙂🙂!

Some of the guys think it's ONLY gentle, soft etc etc but it's not.....


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> This!! This is the most romantic thing I've read on here.
> 
> How do I get my husband to understand that it's ok to do this with his wife. He doesn't want to treat me like a *** he says - I tell him all of the time - I am his wife - he can pay me when we are done and it can go straight in to savings


How do y'all talk in the bedroom? He might take hints if you give them. Tell him you want to be taken, for him to unleash his inner animal that will just have his way with you.

Told my wife about lead singer for Motley Crew once said he "wanted his woman to be a lady on his arm (in public) and his wh0r3 behind closed doors." Now my wife will make comments to the effect while having sex. Also men tend to be verbal, tell us what you want until we figure out start paying attention to behaviors.

When wife is on top and gets good and worked up, I know when she wants more vigorous sex.

You need to be more verbal when he is going a direction you like. Men are very much like puppy dogs, we react favorably to praise and positive reinforcement that we are doing something our women like. If we do something that gets a good reaction from you, we add that to our quiver for later use( pun intended) and explore variations of that for other possible things to please our mates.
😜
Again get more vocal and give some positive feedback when he does something you like. Yes! Harder! and Give it to Me! are all good examples. Guaranteed to make us wag our tails.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> How do y'all talk in the bedroom? He might take hints if you give them. Tell him you want to be taken, for him to unleash his inner animal that will just have his way with you.
> 
> Told my wife about lead singer for Motley Crew once said he "wanted his woman to be a lady on his arm (in public) and his wh0r3 behind closed doors." Now my wife will make comments about being daddy's slvt or daddy's whor3 while having sex. Also men tend to be verbal, tell us what you want until we figure out start paying attention to behaviors.
> 
> ...


Great post. I have been asking my wife to say something, anything. She says nada. Frustrating. Prob mention this in next marriage counseling session. Not asking for much. maybe “harder” ”right there” Or a simple “F—- me”


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> How do y'all talk in the bedroom? He might take hints if you give them. Tell him you want to be taken, for him to unleash his inner animal that will just have his way with you.
> 
> Told my wife about lead singer for Motley Crew once said he "wanted his woman to be a lady on his arm (in public) and his wh0r3 behind closed doors." Now my wife will make comments about being daddy's slvt or daddy's whor3 while having sex. Also men tend to be verbal, tell us what you want until we figure out start paying attention to behaviors.
> 
> ...


He doesnt like it. He said that it feels like I'm planning sex. One day, he doesn't want me to make a single noise during sex and when then happens, I'm completely quiet the next and then he gives me crap for that too. I married a woman.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He doesnt like it. He said that it feels like I'm planning sex. One day, he doesn't want me to make a single noise during sex and when then happens, I'm completely quiet the next and then he gives me crap for that too. I married a woman.


No noise? No fun


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Great post. I have been asking my wife to say something, anything. She says nada. Frustrating. Prob mention this in next marriage counseling session. Not asking for much. maybe “harder” ”right there” Or a simple “F—- me”


Wife says while she is rubbing my chest, shoulders and biceps ahe is getting herself all worked up saying " Oh baby! You are sexy as F!

I aim to please😜 She makes me want to be a better man!


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

My wife is a pretty high level sales executive at a Fortune 500 tech company. She spends most of her day managing men. She does not want to be the boss at home. Well she does want to be the boss but doesn't want to feel like the boss lol. So in bed she definitely likes to be thrown around a bit, have her hair pulled. Sometimes she'll start talking about something random during sex and thats my signal she wants me to tell her to shut the F up and take my D or something like that. We do enjoy softer gentler also but it's the aggressive rougher stuff that gets her off more intensely.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> My wife is a pretty high level sales executive at a Fortune 500 tech company. She spends most of her day managing men. She does not want to be the boss at home. Well she does want to be the boss but doesn't want to feel like the boss lol. So in bed she definitely likes to be thrown around a bit, have her hair pulled. Sometimes she'll start talking about something random during sex and thats my signal she wants me to tell her to shut the F up and take my D or something like that. We do enjoy softer gentler also but it's the aggressive rougher stuff that gets her off more intensely.


I’ll try some of that. She has a big job, high level, has said she doesn’t want to make decisions at home. perhaps why she never brings ideas to bedroom?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He doesnt like it. He said that it feels like I'm planning sex. One day, he doesn't want me to make a single noise during sex and when then happens, I'm completely quiet the next and then he gives me crap for that too. I married a woman.


Then use positive feedback. Like I said above, in the heat of it. Get sexual verbally with some of the quotes like my wife does. See where it takes him. You do you! 

My wife ask later if it bothered me when she calls herself daddy little wh0r3 or Slvt, I said no, I see it as a way she is saying she really, really wants me sexually and will do what ever I want her to do. It also gives her kind of a pass to step out of the mom role into the sexy little vixen I see her as. 

She made the comment about being called a cougar because she is 4 yrs older, I told her no, a cougar is an older woman who controls a younger man with sex. She is not that, she is daddy's kitten, because that kitty belongs to me , she just keeps it for me. She smiled that sexy grin and said, "Yes Daddy"


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> In some conversations that came up from W sharing, it was eye opening from some of her girlfriends that told her the below, and it was a problem.
> 
> 1. They wanted to have sex like they were having sex with a pirate, barbarian at least, sometimes.
> 
> ...


What happens in our bedroom STAYS in our bedroom...

...but I will share this comment. There is a time and a place for slow, romantic, gentle lovemaking. There is also a time and a place for the pirate to take the wench and swing from the timbers and rattle their sabre! 

Sometimes I prefer love making that is sweet as honey and takes whatever time is necessary. Other times, I want to be DESIRED (or to RAWR and take him!) and passionately take or be taken. 

So if you're inquiring, it is my understanding that mutually sharing a bit of both is the exact right recipe.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> No noise? No fun


One reason why it is nice when the 17 yr old son is not home. Wife don't have to restrain herself or scream into a pillow.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Affaircare said:


> Other times, I want to be DESIRED (or to RAWR and take him!) and passionately take or be taken.


Exactly! Once I was about to get in bed and turned toward it, my wife was already crawling across it with a look in her eyes. I made eye contact and froze. For an instant I had the flight instinct, and my heart rate jumped. I felt like a deer that a predator was sneaking up on and I just saw her about to pounce. Was not expecting that feeling. It was kinda like the first time when ya really really like someone and your heart was in your throat and your scared shytless you are gonna make a fool of yourself.


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> One reason why it is nice when the 17 yr old son is not home. Wife don't have to restrain herself or scream into a pillow.


So true


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

A few thoughts. First, in Dr David Schnarchs book Intimacy and Desire he has a section on the difference between "making love" and "f#cking." He added it to the book, because a dying mentor of his told him not to forget about telling couples how important and satisfying a good F--ing can be. The descriptions and important emotional benefits are described.

Second, my wife has told me that when I get really aroused and loose control and ravish her, she can find it arousing and feed off my passion to the point that she too looses control and finds her body trying to ravish me. That is what happens when the second of Scharchs types of sexual encounters occurs.

I honestly believe that a relationship cannot be sustained on just F--ing. When we do have one of those sessions, I find that my penis feels bruised/sore for the next day or two and I am not ready for extremely passionate sex. I think that gentle, romantic making love that promotes emotional bonding is important to a long term relationship. Yes, vigorous sex can be mind blowing, physically uncomfortable (sex hormone releases are a great temporary pain killer), and memorable; but making love, does what it says in creating an emotional bond.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

I can’t even imagine what I’ll want when the times come after the marriage I’d been in the last 15 years. I imagine they’ll be a place for both ways. Each kind of sexcapade will have its own place. I just don’t want to feel used up after time together is my biggest thing. It’s going to be a mental struggle for me to unlearn my past to be able to enjoy either bit.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Bulfrog1987 said:


> I can’t even imagine what I’ll want when the times come after the marriage I’d been in the last 15 years. I imagine they’ll be a place for both ways. Each kind of sexcapade will have its own place. I just don’t want to feel used up after time together is my biggest thing. It’s going to be a mental struggle for me to unlearn my past to be able to enjoy either bit.


We're at 26 yrs and getting better.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Both at different times.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Yes.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

super good question , just there is no right response ,as every woman is different , and reading all the books and then trying the tell your woman that she should like this done this way does not work ,

Some women like it one way or the other way but most like it different , keeps it from been the same old same old ,
and but I think it is all ways best to start slow and you can end hard ,
The virginal walls are tender and need lubrication so it takes time,

WE have people that come here and say they are gods gift to women and they are very good lovers and when crossed by some of the posters come back with the old one " but my wife even tells me I am a good lover" or her best which could be the best of a bad lot 

no woman is going to want to keep having sex with a guy that has as much feeling as a jack hammer 

Form experience with only one woman SHE IS HAPPIEST WHEN IT IS not the same when it feels each time is different , but MY wife does not like her legs pushed apart and most of the positions recommended by the experts that women like she hates and some you need to be a gymnast to do , others when more relaxed and the moment has taken over and she can find herself doing what is against her own rule book ,

If I was to wright a book on on love making IT WOULD BE ALONG THE LINES OF STAYING IN TOUTCH with each other , keeping it fun and enjoyment , during and after , she does not want to feel like she has just had been attacked by a terrorist calming his right to 70 virgins .

ONE WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL like the girl that had too much in collage and could not walk right the next morning or feel sore for days


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> Then use positive feedback. Like I said above, in the heat of it. Get sexual verbally with some of the quotes like my wife does. See where it takes him. You do you!
> 
> My wife ask later if it bothered me when she calls herself daddy little wh0r3 or Slvt, I said no, I see it as a way she is saying she really, really wants me sexually and will do what ever I want her to do. It also gives her kind of a pass to step out of the mom role into the sexy little vixen I see her as.
> 
> She made the comment about being called a cougar because she is 4 yrs older, I told her no, a cougar is an older woman who controls a younger man with sex. She is not that, she is daddy's kitten, because that kitty belongs to me , she just keeps it for me. She smiled that sexy grin and said, "Yes Daddy"


He doesn't like it. He says that it distracts him


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He doesn't like it. He says that it distracts him


Good lord


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I like it both ways. I agree with the barbarian in charge comment. I birthed two babies without meds. I think I can take it and I like it! 😎


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He doesn't like it. He says that it distracts him


That is insane! When my wife reacts to something she likes, it intensifies everything for me. 

I'm thinking " Umm huh! 😜Whose yer daddy? 😁Yes ma'am you are welcome! 🤣


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> That is insane! When my wife reacts to something she likes, it intensifies everything for me.
> 
> I'm thinking " Umm huh! 😜Whose yer daddy? 😁Yes ma'am you are welcome! 🤣


Yeah, definitely no daddy comments are floating around in my house during sex. That's a little weird. He has ADD really bad. On occasion, when he's really drunk, he'll ask me if I like it and I can't help but laugh because any other time, I'M NOT ALLOWED TALKING    he laughs with me and says to shut up and go with it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> He doesn't like it. He says that it distracts him


I'll second that, good Lord!

Tell him too damn bad.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> Exactly! Once I was about to get in bed and turned toward it, my wife was already crawling across it with a look in her eyes. I made eye contact and froze. For an instant I had the flight instinct, and my heart rate jumped. I felt like a deer that a predator was sneaking up on and I just saw her about to pounce. Was not expecting that feeling. It was kinda like the first time when ya really really like someone and your heart was in your throat and your scared shytless you are gonna make a fool of yourself.


It's not funny Melinda! 🤨😂 I startled me, I suddenly felt like a small furry animal that just caught a lioness about to pounce on me. Ironic being she is 5'03" and I am 6'05" 275# 2x her weight.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BecauseSheWeeps said:


> Yeah, definitely no daddy comments are floating around in my house during sex. That's a little weird. He has ADD really bad. On occasion, when he's really drunk, he'll ask me if I like it and I can't help but laugh because any other time, I'M NOT ALLOWED TALKING    he laughs with me and says to shut up and go with it.


Try a few "Oh, YES, YES" and grab him by his butt and pull him into you, should make your point of encouragement.


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