# Has anyone here eloped?



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Has anyone here ever eloped? Are you happy you did it? Why did you do it, and do you regret not having a formal wedding?

Just wondering


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Depends on what you mean by "eloped". We had a very simple, very informal wedding, but we didn't keep it a secret. 30 years later we have never regretted not having a big wedding. I've been to several big weddings. Often they wind up being very stressful (and expensive) for the couple.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I guess we did. 

He flew in from MD, and we went down to the court house. We only told the two friends who were witnesses.

Why did we do it? Because he was moving across country with his 2 young children. We wanted them to be on my health insurance. Plus, with our 3 children we did not want to just live together.

About 8 months later we did have a small wedding in a very intimate chapel and a wedding dinner. That was mostly for the benefit of our children. My then 10 year old step daughter thought it was a grand idea... she was sort of my wedding planner... LOL... down to the 3 tyer cheese cake wedding cake.

I liked how we did it. It worked for us.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Actually, I suppose we did. 

Quiet non-religious ceremony.

It worked for us.


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## TriHouse (Aug 9, 2016)

I had a very small wedding planned in two weeks, so I did not elope, but my sister did. She's been married 20 years and I asked her when we decided to have the small wedding on short notice if she regretted anything about eloping, and she said she wished she had the dress and walked down an aisle. We had a ceremony in front of 15 or 16 guests, I had a dress, and photographer. We went to dinner at a restaurant and had one long table. I don't regret it. It cost around 2k.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Yes we did, because we were tired of friends arguing who would be in the wedding, also we both had a formal previous wedding and did not feel the need for another.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

If I had it to do over again, I would elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon. It's a lot more fun than the wedding!!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

YES! That is what we did, and have never regretted it. 

Same for engagement ring. The ring you that cost a huge amount of money when you are young may well end up as just a trinket when you are older and wealthier. Forget diamonds, get an interesting engagement ring who's value / beauty doesn't come from the price of the materials. 




karole said:


> If I had it to do over again, I would elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon. It's a lot more fun than the wedding!!


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

My EXH and I eloped and got married in Las Vegas, it was a fun weekend. We did it because we both thought that spending $$ on a wedding was ridiculous and we knew that our mothers would take over the entire event anyway.

My mother somehow figured out what we were up to, called every hotel in Las Vegas, found us and had champagne and strawberries waiting in our room. This was 30 years ago.


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## Married27years (Jun 16, 2016)

We had a planned elopement. We let everyone know we were going to be getting married in Las Vegas. We got married at one of those little churches. At the time we were living together and neither one of us wanted a formal religious wedding. We have been married for 27 years so I would say it worked out.


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## jasmine31 (Jul 12, 2016)

deleted
jasmine31


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Thank you everyone for your responses!! You might wonder why i'm asking, the guy I've been seeing, he and I have been discussing the future and we have known each other a few years, but were only friends up until a few months ago. If/when I decide that marriage is a good step forward, I don't know if I want a big wedding. My parents are wealthy and the wedding plans with my ex fiance were just...over the top. lol I don't want that craziness again. I still have the dress from that. 

I will write more tomorrow.  Thank you all again!


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> My EXH and I eloped and got married in Las Vegas, it was a fun weekend. We did it because we both thought that spending $$ on a wedding was ridiculous and we knew that our mothers would take over the entire event anyway.
> 
> My mother somehow figured out what we were up to, called every hotel in Las Vegas, found us and had champagne and strawberries waiting in our room. This was 30 years ago.


Oh wow, that is so cool!!


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## veganmermaid (Jun 17, 2016)

Yep!

I'm closer to his family than my own and didnt want to have to invite certain members of my family or deal with the drama. Plus, we preferred to save the money we would've spent on a ceremony to put towards a down payment on a house.

We may throw a small party for our upcoming 10 year anniversary.

Sent from my VS986 using Tapatalk


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

My parents dated for six weeks then eloped to Carmel, CA got married. They have been married for 53 years.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jasmine31 said:


> I'm sorry English is my third language so I'm not sure what is the exact meaning of the word 'elope'. But whenever I see the word 'elope', I keep thinking that you run away with your partner (without your parents or anyone knowing), and the two of you living somewhere in the secluded mountains away from people/away from the city/exclude from the world, (that is what I always thought what 'elope' means, lol).


Elope means to run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.

It has nothing to do with where you live after you get married.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Deidre* said:


> Thank you everyone for your responses!! You might wonder why i'm asking, the guy I've been seeing, he and I have been discussing the future and we have known each other a few years, but were only friends up until a few months ago. If/when I decide that marriage is a good step forward, I don't know if I want a big wedding. My parents are wealthy and the wedding plans with my ex fiance were just...over the top. lol I don't want that craziness again. I still have the dress from that.
> 
> I will write more tomorrow.  Thank you all again!


A friend of mine did it in a way that I thought was very cool.

They "eloped" to Las Vegas and then had their honeymoon there. I put that in quotes because everyone knew what they were up to. They just did not want to big wedding fuss.

When they got back, his mother had a party at her place for them. It was in the summer so it was a barbeque. Very informal. Everyone in shorts. Several of the guests brought food items. The couple paid for the rest. I made the wedding cake as a present for her (3 tier wedding cake) so that there was something there that felt like a wedding. It was a pretty large crowd but intimate at the same time.

But best of all, very low cost and low prep.

I was one of the best 'weddings' I've ever been to.


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## Curse of Millhaven (Feb 16, 2013)

Yes! We didn’t have a formal church wedding and instead got married on a hillside with only ourselves, the marriage officiant, the sky and nature in attendance. 

It was in the lovely little Victorian town of Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I wore a vintage embroidered dress that cost 80 bucks, I think, and we spent our first night as a married couple in a haunted hotel, where we both had “supernatural” experiences. 

I loved it and regret nothing.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

karole said:


> If I had it to do over again, I would elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon. It's a lot more fun than the wedding!!


Same here, sort of. I would dump the reception and just have the ceremony which was short and sweet, and the photos. I wouldn't bother with bridesmaids and groomsmen, even though most of them (bridesmaids anyway) are still in my life, they just aren't necessary now that I look back on it.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*In my two marriages, I have had both of them as "big lavish church weddings" with über planning! Guess that that has me batting 0 for 2 on marital longetiviity!

Having said that, if there is ever to be another Mrs. Arbitrator, the thought of a private elopement is certainly a most viable option!

It really makes me wonder why divorce courts couldn't be just as easy!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We told everyone our plans so it wasn't a true elopement. We splurged on a luxurious tropical retreat just the two of us; vacation and wedding combined. That morning we walked along the sand, swam in crystal-clear waters and ate breakfast together before getting ready. I did my own hair and make-up, hubs zipped my dress for me. It was simple, relaxed and incredibly intimate. We shared a dinner that evening in a private dining room, to the sound of rain falling and breaking the humidity. It was stunning.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Since I was a grown woman of 28 when I married DH, I don't consider it eloping. We were adults long out of our parents homes and not obligated to give anyone notification or explanation of our choice. We decided to get married, so we set up an appointment with a Justice of the Peace at the city courthouse, got our marriage license, and got married. Never regretted it for a minute. I am not a fan of the hassle and expense of formal weddings.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Weddings are for other people. All the time money and stress to throw a big party so other people are happy? Did that and hated everything about it. At some point the wedding stopped being about us was started being about our family.

If I were to ever do it again, big if, it will be on a beach, Hawaii, and just us and maybe another couple for witnesses.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Weddings are for other people. All the time money and stress to throw a big party so other people are happy? Did that and hated everything about it. At some point the wedding stopped being about us was started being about our family.
> 
> If I were to ever do it again, big if, it will be on a beach, Hawaii, and just us and maybe another couple for witnesses.


You're right, it's really about other people. I don't regret our wedding, it was really nice. I do feel though, that my husband and I were pressured into having a big showy affair when really we are low key people. All our friends are having big elaborate weddings so we felt we must do the same thing. Then you have two mothers that have opinions on everything, lol. 

My favorite weddings I've attended have been small and intimate.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

karole said:


> If I had it to do over again, I would elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon. It's a lot more fun than the wedding!!


Oh yeah, me too! 

I hope my kids decide to do a small wedding. I rather give them the money to go toward buying a house.


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## lovingwife2016 (May 6, 2016)

My husband and I eloped, didn't tell anybody, I don't regret it, It was our dirty little secret. Lol

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## lovingwife2016 (May 6, 2016)

I'm 19 years old my parents were pretty pissed that I ran off

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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

We didn't truly elope. We'd been engaged for about a year. We'd told everyone that we weren't planning anything, just that we'd both show up some Monday and be married. We're both rather introverted, so an entire ceremony dedicated to us was... well, not us.

So, we'd planned a vacation to Maui a couple months out to do it there. My wife, myself, my best friend and his now wife, her best friend and her bff's husband. We didn't really tell them the plan, just that it was a vacation, but they all knew.

However, my MIL was going to watch the dog for us, and my best friend worked for her and realized that he'd asked for that week off work as well and put 2 & 2 together and started asking around. He just kept telling MIL that he didn't truly know, that we didn't say anything about it, but it seemed plausible.

So, she started nosing around, called the resort we were going to be at, found out and started telling some close friends/relatives. Ultimately, we ended up with about 50 uninvited people out there with us. It actually turned out really nice and I'm glad they all came.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> A friend of mine did it in a way that I thought was very cool.
> 
> They "eloped" to Las Vegas and then had their honeymoon there. I put that in quotes because everyone knew what they were up to. They just did not want to big wedding fuss.
> 
> ...


I love this idea. Thank you! My parents are wealthy, but you know, with my ex fiance and all the planning that we started doing for the wedding, it wasn't as fun as I had hoped. I think these big lavish weddings are for others, not for the couple, after a while. lol We are talking about long term plans, this guy I've been seeing now, so we'll see what happens. His family owns a farm, and I saw a show where a family renovated their barn for a wedding party. lol It was the coolest thing!  There's lot of ideas that are simple yet fun and brings everyone together.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

dubsey said:


> We didn't truly elope. We'd been engaged for about a year. We'd told everyone that we weren't planning anything, just that we'd both show up some Monday and be married. We're both rather introverted, so an entire ceremony dedicated to us was... well, not us.
> 
> So, we'd planned a vacation to Maui a couple months out to do it there. My wife, myself, my best friend and his now wife, her best friend and her bff's husband. We didn't really tell them the plan, just that it was a vacation, but they all knew.
> 
> ...


What a great story!!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

*Deidre* said:


> Has anyone here ever eloped? Are you happy you did it? Why did you do it, and do you regret not having a formal wedding?
> 
> Just wondering


Yes, my wife and I eloped.

Well, sort of, anyway.

My mother wanted to throw a big wedding for us but I needed health insurance, so we were "secretly married" about 4 months before the big wedding.

Can you think of anything more romantic? >


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

*Deidre* said:


> Has anyone here ever eloped? Are you happy you did it? Why did you do it, and do you regret not having a formal wedding?


I've shared about our wedding day. The why we did it... well, in part because our family is pretty dysfunctional. We had an engagement dinner that was, at best, awkward. I'd not had the wedding daydream growing up. After discussing different options, my husband and I decided to go away just the two of us. That's what a special day meant to us. We booked and arranged everything within 2 months. 

Our mothers were happy and excited for us; gave us thoughtful keepsakes to take with us for the day. My dad was a different story and disappointed that he wasn't walking me down the aisle, which wouldn't have been my style anyway. Afterwards we shared our photos with them. The mothers were very positive, enjoyed the photos, very happy for us. When sharing the photos with my dad, he didn't say a word and remained emotionless, which was a shame. 

I don't regret it. Our day was relaxed, special and intimate for us.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

karole said:


> If I had it to do over again, I would elope and spend all the money on the honeymoon. It's a lot more fun than the wedding!!


We didn't elope but felt the opposite of this.. I felt if we didn't do a big wedding.. *I'd REGRET it*.. I thoroughly enjoyed the planning.. the anticipation.. we had the money.. we waited a long time.. I had dreams of it .. I wanted that SPECIAL DAY.. our day.. to celebrate before family & friends...dancing into the night... it was one of the happiest days of my life / our life outside of having our children.. .. it FLEW so fast..... 

Then... we blew off our honeymoon.. (being cheap).... 

Always felt a little bad about that part (but the regret much less).. then once we had 4 sons.... he got a better paying job...we went back to where we were going to stay.. told them all we're taking them on our "long lost honeymoon".. So in it's own small way.. we made up for it.. 

I still remember us laughing in the elevator -going up to our room...telling them this long ago..


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We didn't elope but felt the opposite of this.. I felt if we didn't do a big wedding.. *I'd REGRET it*.. I thoroughly enjoyed the planning.. the anticipation.. we had the money.. we waited a long time.. I had dreams of it .. I wanted that SPECIAL DAY.. our day.. to celebrate before family & friends...dancing into the night... it was one of the happiest days of my life / our life outside of having our children.. .. it FLEW so fast.....
> 
> Then... we blew off our honeymoon.. (being cheap)....
> 
> ...


My daughter is getting married soon My husband and I pleaded with her and her fiance to just let us give them money and the two of them take a fantastic honeymoon and just have a very small, intimate wedding, but my daughter wouldn't hear of it. Like you, she wants all the hoopla! LOL, so that's okay. I'll just be glad when it's over.............


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Second marriage, and I suppose we "eloped." We only told her mother and my father soon after the fact, and didn't tell any other family until a few years later.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Well a giant wedding will provide memories for a lifetime - but often they aren't *good* memories.

A wonderful honeymoon is something you will remember



karole said:


> My daughter is getting married soon My husband and I pleaded with her and her fiance to just let us give them money and the two of them take a fantastic honeymoon and just have a very small, intimate wedding, but my daughter wouldn't hear of it. Like you, she wants all the hoopla! LOL, so that's okay. I'll just be glad when it's over.............


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

Curse of Millhaven said:


> Yes! We didn’t have a formal church wedding and instead got married on a hillside with only ourselves, the marriage officiant, the sky and nature in attendance.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Great place! That's where we went on our Honeymoon. Of course I'm a little biased as I live 40 miles from there and call the area home. 


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I love your stories in here. There are some great marriages on here, and for those who haven't had such a great marriage, they tried. Marriage seems hard, but worth it. He and I have been talking about marriage, he has been hinting and then, he just asked me the other night if I saw us going in that direction. I do, actually. I've been friends with this guy for a few years, not like best friends, but we have mutual friends and have seen each other at bbq's and parties, have had lunch. It's funny, when you're friends with a guy, you tell him a lot...and then when you are dating that same guy, you forget that he knows SO much about you, lol But, that's good though. He is a strong, awesome guy and he is a good decision maker. I'm not a very good decision maker, sometimes. I wish I hadn't been engaged for example but, guess I can't change it. 

I'm glad you all chimed in here


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

*Deidre* said:


> I love your stories in here. There are some great marriages on here, and for those who haven't had such a great marriage, they tried. Marriage seems hard, but worth it. He and I have been talking about marriage, he has been hinting and then, he just asked me the other night if I saw us going in that direction. I do, actually. I've been friends with this guy for a few years, not like best friends, but we have mutual friends and have seen each other at bbq's and parties, have had lunch. It's funny, when you're friends with a guy, you tell him a lot...and then when you are dating that same guy, you forget that he knows SO much about you, lol But, that's good though. He is a strong, awesome guy and he is a good decision maker. I'm not a very good decision maker, sometimes. I wish I hadn't been engaged for example but, guess I can't change it.
> 
> I'm glad you all chimed in here


Oh Oh Ms Diedre.....You sound a bit conflicted here.....You offer advice well beyond your years most often but I sense some uncertainty in your moving forward in your relationship. Trust your gut is all I would offer..........The best to you......


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Betrayedone said:


> Oh Oh Ms Diedre.....You sound a bit conflicted here.....You offer advice well beyond your years most often but I sense some uncertainty in your moving forward in your relationship. Trust your gut is all I would offer..........The best to you......


Okay. Thank you  Actually, I'm really into him, but marriage is a big deal. And I only want to do it once, when I do. Maybe that is what you are reading between the lines. ^_^


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

*Deidre* said:


> Okay. Thank you  Actually, I'm really into him, but marriage is a big deal. And I only want to do it once, when I do. Maybe that is what you are reading between the lines. ^_^




Please take your time and make sure. This is could be the most important decision of a life time. It's important to get it right.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

giddiot said:


> Please take your time and make sure. This is could be the most important decision of a life time. It's important to get it right.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro


I will not rush into anything, I'm in love though. He's good looking, smart, and down to earth, but for once, this relationship feels like home.  If that makes sense. I can't help but think that I've thought I was in love before, but it was deep infatuation.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

*Deidre* said:


> I will not rush into anything, I'm in love though. He's good looking, smart, and down to earth, but for once, this relationship feels like home.  If that makes sense. I can't help but think that I've thought I was in love before, but it was deep infatuation.




Seems to me that God is guiding you lately. IMO if your at peace it's God. Also your parents will be disappointed if you elope at least I would have if one of my boys had.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

giddiot said:


> Seems to me that God is guiding you lately. IMO if your at peace it's God.


You're going to make me cry, giddiot  (you are right) I can't believe I left faith for a few years, but I'm glad to have come back. God changes lives, for the better IMO.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

*Deidre* said:


> You're going to make me cry, giddiot  (you are right) I can't believe I left faith for a few years, but I'm glad to have come back. God changes lives, for the better IMO.


He sure has changed mine for the better.


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