# Husband's Friend Won't Leave Me Alone



## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

My husbands friend won't stop annoying me.
He says that he wants to come to where we live to buy shoes & wants me to go with him by myself.
He texted me non stop in the last two days to go. I'm really getting peed off. 

I suggested he wait till the end of this month when my husband is off work & he should bring his girlfriend along too.
He texted back I'm coming down this Saturday & plans like you suggested never work out.

It's stupid he lives in the city, where there are plenty of bloody shops to buy shoes. (We live outside city)
Then today he texted me 3 times about going to some gig on in a pub tonight. 
Why the hell would I go to a bar with a man who's not my husband?

I didn't text back. 
I've told my husband to text him & tell him we're only going to meet up if his girlfriend comes along.

I cannot stand this man. He's a absolute weirdo but he's my husband friend for over 15 years.

Somebody please advise me how I can stop this. How can I get rid of him?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Do not respond to him anymore. Let your husband handle this.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

What did your husband say when you told him to say something to his friend?


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

Don't be nice here. This guy is out of line. Either ignore all his texts or ask him to stop contacting you.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Don't talk to him. If he shows up, tell him to piss off. I'd be tempted to tell my husband to piss off if he can't take care of the situation - the guy is his friend (or is he?).


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@blueinbr I've tried this & he complains to my husband that I'm unfriendly & being a b!tch. And that I want to destroy their friendship.
I wish that would actually happen. 

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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

Wow! Why do you even care then? Ignore this bozo!


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

You need to tell your husband that his "friend" is being in appropriate. There is no doubt, he pursuing you. Have you been flirty with him in the past? He's picking up a vibe that if he gets you alone, he will be successful with you. 

Hubby needs to put this fool in his place. If he doesn't, then you may have to be more forceful. Get together with him at your marriage peril. I say that because I've read of so many woman that were not into a guy but their persistence wore them down.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Lostme said:


> What did your husband say when you told him to say something to his friend?


He texted him said the four of us to go at the end of the month. 
To bring his girlfriend.

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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Fitnessfan said:


> Wow! Why do you even care then? Ignore this bozo!


He tells other friends I'm horrible & won't talk to him.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Try not to worry what he tells other friends, if they know you then they will know it is not true.

I would ignore his text and calls, your H needs to stand up for you as well and tell this guy to leave you alone.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

MrsAldi said:


> He texted him said the four of us to go at the end of the month.
> To bring his girlfriend.


So is your H ignoring that his friend is hitting on you (of course he is) or is he afraid to tell his friend to piss off?

Is your H conflict averse? I ended a 6 year friendship with college buddy because of what I perceived the guy hitting on my wife. 

Your H should simply text this guy that married people do not meet alone with people of opposite sex, regardless of who they are.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

jsmart said:


> You need to tell your husband that his "friend" is being in appropriate. There is no doubt, he pursuing you. Have you been flirty with him in the past? He's picking up a vibe that if he gets you alone, he will be successful with you.
> 
> Hubby needs to put this fool in his place. If he doesn't, then you may have to be more forceful. Get together with him at your marriage peril. I say that because I've read of so many woman that were not into a guy but their persistence wore them down.


I just said to HB that he was annoying me.
But will definitely put the foot down.
I've never been flirty IMO just small talk. 
If it gets worse then I might just tell him to eff off.

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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> So is your H ignoring that his friend is hitting on you (of course he is) or is he afraid to tell his friend to piss off?
> 
> Is your H conflict averse? I ended a 6 year friendship with college buddy because of what I perceived the guy hitting on my wife.
> 
> Your H should simply text this guy that married people do not meet alone with people of opposite sex, regardless of who they are.


I agree, the only guys I spend time with is HB and my brothers.
I don't understand why he'd hit on me, he has a great gf who's a successful radio DJ. She's a lovely woman. 

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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
Sometimes it's about the conquest or one upmanship. Are he and your H fiercely competitive? In any event, why do you not simply tell this man the truth. Tell him you feel uneasy about his advances and his seeming desire to be alone with you. If he persists then be more truthful and forceful.

And may I ask why you would consider what people think of you more important than your self respect. If you do not want to be alone with this man then who gives a rodents hindquarters what anyone thinks? I would bet your H would appreciate this and isn't that really all that matters? And if he doesn't then he should.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@NoChoice you're 100% right. I shouldn't care what others think.
Self-respect is worth more & if they believe bull then they're the bigger fools. I'm just going to ignore & let husband handle situation. 
I'll tell him it's inappropriate & he wouldn't like other men to do the same with his girlfriend. 

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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Go dark. The only reason he would be suggesting these things is to get in your pants.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

and MrsAldi, there is a certain type of creature that sets up a situation and then when they are told to get off or are ignored, turn nasty - it's taken as rejection by him and is a form of self flagellation. He may have trouble accepting that he has been 'relegated' from number 1 position on your husband's speed dial list (Seinfeld still cracks me up). I agree with others, ignore him - Hubby should definitely deal with this clown. Hope it works out OK for you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Fitnessfan said:


> Don't be nice here. This guy is out of line. Either ignore all his texts or ask him to stop contacting you.


I vote for the latter.

Make it very clear to this guy, OP, that you have absolutely no interest in spending any time w/ him unless your husband is present, and that's whether or not his girlfriend is tagging along. I mention that last bit (about his girlfriend being present) specifically because he could bait you into meeting up by stating that his girlfriend will be there, only to have her cancel at the last minute because "something came up."

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

That's a good point about not meeting with him even if he says his wife will be there. He sounds like he would pull a fast one like Gus explained.

He really sounds like he has no respect for you husband. To pursue your "friends" wife is pretty low. We men sometimes lust after normal women in our lives but to pursue them, when we're in a relationship and they are as well is low .


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Send him a NC letter. :surprise:


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Read @LosingHim thread. Her husband was distant in everthimg but in bed. His BF pushed and pushed. Finally she gave him a BJ to get him to leave her alone. Bottom line a one point he pushed her out but he kept the BF to this day. 

WTF: I mean i could understand pushing both out, but keeping him? 

I don't know what to really suggest except maybe set up a sting.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

MrsAldi, you have a much bigger problem than this idiot! And that is your husband!!!!!

He sounds like an even bigger idiot! He should be kicking this guy's arse! Not listening to anything he says! 15 years of friendship really is nothing when compared to your wife.

Are you not mad at your husband! Or maybe his "friend" has something on him?

In any case send all these texts, messages etc to the POS's girlfriend and ask her why she cannot take him shoe shopping?


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@GusPolinski my intuition was telling me this. Which is why I refused to meet without my husband. If he arrives here on Saturday (he knows HB is working) my brothers will be here to give him his marching orders. 


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I'm a bit confused how it ever got to the point where he is contacting you directly and by passing your husband. My response at being asked to go shoe shopping with the guy would have been "why would I want to do that? You're a grown man, go buy your own shoes" 

The entire scenario seems off to me, from the guy thinking it's OK to ask another mans wife to go shoe shopping to your husband not wanting to tell the guy to back off. Are you sure your husband isn't trying to set up a swingers weekend or some sort of threesome?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

husband needs to punch him in the face!

who the hell would let a friend harass his wife. 

tell your husband to man up for crying out loud!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MrsAldi said:


> @GusPolinski my intuition was telling me this. Which is why I refused to meet without my husband. If he arrives here on Saturday (he knows HB is working) my brothers will be here to give him his marching orders.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Pardon me for asking, but is your husband really that dense?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> husband needs to punch him in the face!
> 
> who the hell would let a friend harass his wife.
> 
> tell your husband to man up for crying out loud!


Exactly. If this guy were my friend, he and I would be having a meeting in the back alley to discuss the situation.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Block his number. 

By the way, here is something you probably already know. He is NOT your husband's friend. At all.

His young lady needs to know what he is up to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

YOU - "Hubby. This scumbag is trying to get into my pants and won't leave me alone while trying. I'm having trouble seeing that you are having trouble with it. What gives? Are you a cuckold? Do you WANT me to screw him? I don't get it hubby...?

You don't get this creep's motivation? I do. I don't get your HUSBAND's motivation.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Mrs. Aldi,

Your husband either does not give a **** about you or he is extremely hard of hearing.
My suggestion to you is the next time the three of you are together i would just in front of your husband just ask his friend if he wants to **** you?

If he says no, then ask him in front of your husband why he is trying to be alone with you morning, noon, and night???

if he says yes, just ask your husband if that is OK if you want ot do it?

That might get your husband out of his stupor.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

well, first things first. throwing fists is always a last resort and could get you in legal trouble,
and you don't want to lose your job or get demoted (police officer) over a horndog.
but 'old school' dictates the husband IS the protector of his wife.

being a 15 year buddy, i sort of get that, even if he is a horndog.

he should first tell his buddy to '****** off'.

if his buddy doesn't listen, then he can give him a list of stuff that could happen.
1. 'you aint my buddy anymore, so just go away; no more contact.
2. file a complaint against him for harassment or report him to his senior officer.
3. all that failing, then it might be time to have a 'man to man' talk.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> He tells other friends I'm horrible & *won't talk to him.*
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


 You need to make this part a reality.

I've read alot of your replies to other posts and they are usually very thoughtful and kind, some being a bit naive in your optimism. You are plenty sharp with other's situations, just make sure you recognize this for what it is and cut all contact with this a$$hole . Just stop replying to him in any format, and tell your hubby why you did, while showing him all of the guys communication with you. Who cares what this a-h thinks of you, and if your hubby values his opinion more than yours, then you've got bigger fish to fry. If he tells other friends "you're horrible" then explain why you did what you did, anyone with half a brain will recognize who the horrible one is.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

MrsAldi,

Save every one of his messages to you, possibly even allow him to escalate them to a sexual level, send the messages to his girlfriend, his parents, his siblings, his workplace, his facebook and linkedin contacts etc. Don't threaten or warn do it all at once like a tsunami of exposure. 

What kind of man would do this to the wife of a friend??? 

tamat


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

JohnA said:


> Read @LosingHim thread. Her husband was distant in everthimg but in bed. His BF pushed and pushed. Finally she gave him a BJ to get him to leave her alone. Bottom line a one point he pushed her out but he kept the BF to this day.
> 
> WTF: I mean i could understand pushing both out, but keeping him?
> 
> I don't know what to really suggest except maybe set up a sting.


Perfect example of what I said in earlier post. Women will hook up with a guy that they're not really into if he's persistent. Basically win her over through persistence. Happens all the time.

This guy is picking up a vibe from OP that he can strike gold with her. My concern is that if hubby doesn't intervene, she gives in to just hang out once to shut him up and boom, chemistry happens.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

...and here we reap the benefits of society calling men controlling, misogynistic, possessive...


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> I know this is a mundane suggestion.
> 
> But block his number(s) from your phone(s). It doesn't get to the heart of the matter; but it might wear him down to constantly call you and not get through.


25 posts on this thread and this is the first time anyone suggested blocking his calls.

Gotta wonder what people are thinking.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Mclane said:


> 25 posts on this thread and this is the first time anyone suggested blocking his calls.
> 
> Gotta wonder what people are thinking.


IDK, it is the first thing I would do with someone like this "friend" who totally ignores a boundary. 

WTF? Why would you continue to be around this person OP? If your H wants to be friends with him after this I'd consider getting rid of him too. From your other threads there are enough problems to warrant it.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Cooper said:


> I'm a bit confused how it ever got to the point where he is contacting you directly and by passing your husband. My response at being asked to go shoe shopping with the guy would have been "why would I want to do that? You're a grown man, go buy your own shoes"
> 
> The entire scenario seems off to me, from the guy thinking it's OK to ask another mans wife to go shoe shopping to your husband not wanting to tell the guy to back off. Are you sure your husband isn't trying to set up a swingers weekend or some sort of threesome?


My husband in a threesome? With a bloke? He'd run in a building on fire rather than share a bed with a dude lol!
He told him to stop annoying me today. 

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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

jsmart said:


> Perfect example of what I said in earlier post. Women will hook up with a guy that they're not really into if he's persistent. Basically win her over through persistence. Happens all the time.
> 
> This guy is picking up a vibe from OP that he can strike gold with her. My concern is that if hubby doesn't intervene, she gives in to just hang out once to shut him up and boom, chemistry happens.


No it will never come to that believe me.
I'm not like that. I'd rather die than betray my husband. 



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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Have you tried kicking him in the [email protected]?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

nice777guy said:


> Have you tried kicking him in the [email protected]?


Not in Ireland. It would be a swift kick to the bollix!  

And after all, he did want to try some shoes for size!:FIREdevil:

Mrs Aldi, you need to ask your husband when he is going to get rid of the Little Bollix from his life.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@MattMatt both of us are ignoring him now. 
Swift kick alright! 



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