# Is it just me



## MrDude (Jun 21, 2010)

OK I want to get your thoughts on this.

Is it weird that a HS Senior is interested in a freshman? It seems really weird to me. I remember when I was in HS that seniors wanted nothing to do with me when I was a freshman and when I was a senior I wanted nothing to do with freshman. I was in band, so other than giving direction as a leadership position, I pretty much had no interaction with the other end.

Thoughts, comments, questions...


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I dated seniors as a frosh (never dated a frosh as a senior, but did date one a bit younger than me for a while). I can see your concern as there seems to be some significant differences between the specific ages (I happened to be a fall baby that ended up being near a year old than my class from the b-day cut off) 

I think it depends on the boy and girl, but personally I will also say that I don't think I will be at all comfortable with my daughter dating someone of the age to drive until she is damn close that age herself (OK also saying here I don't think i will ever be comfortable with my daughter dating at ALL... OMG shoot me NOW) But, it's doubtful I would allow it. Since I only have a girl, not sure if I would feel differently with a boy, and I am totally aware that I am suggesting a double standard, but hey, I am admitting that my feelings MIGHT be different (trying to picture my nephew in that position but he is TINY and look 4 years younger than he is at 12 so it's still hard to imagine LOL) 

But there ya have it from me anyway... if any of it makes sense HAHA


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

As the mother of two 17 year old girls, I see nothing strange about it. One daughter dates a guy who is 3 years older and the other dates one who is two years older. My daughters have made numerous comments over the years that the guys their own age are immature. Also, now the high school classes are mixed class levels. Some classes even have a uniform mix of freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors. Was this a general question? Or, is there something more specific?


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

827Aug said:


> As the mother of two 17 year old girls, I see nothing strange about it. One daughter dates a guy who is 3 years older and the other dates one who is two years older. My daughters have made numerous comments over the years that the guys their own age are immature. Also, now the high school classes are mixed class levels. Some classes even have a uniform mix of freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors. Was this a general question? Or, is there something more specific?



Ah, but as a frosh they are only 14 or 15... is there a difference between that and 17? would you have let them date that much older at 14 or 15? 14 and 17 is not a match I would like, neither is 15 and 18 (and I think that one is even illegal in my state LOL)


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I don't know that it's weird necessarily, but I know if it were my kid who was a freshman and had a senior interested, I'd want to meet said senior to make sure that it was true interest and not a hope to get laid or something like that. I wouldn't assume that was all it was, but I would have that niggling thought that I would need to confirm or disprove before I really felt comfortable allowing anything to come of their interest.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

This is why I've asked the OP if there is a specific question or direction we should be taking. I did not allow my daughters to date until they were 16. They could have group interactions if properly supervised. And these group activities outside of the school did have a mix of age groups.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

At 14, I dated a 17yo. I had a beautiful engagement ring at 15. We were together for 3 years. We NEVER HAD SEX. Lots of heavy petting, but never all the way. He didn't want to take a chance on getting me pg, and didn't trust the birth control methods of the early-mid 70's. He was going to West Point (and subsequently did), and didn't want that messed up. I guess it would depend on the senior and the freshman.


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## MrDude (Jun 21, 2010)

Thanks, all. Weird was probably the wrong word, but is what I had at the moment. No specific question I guess, just thoughts and/or opinions.

OK here is a little more info I probably should have included.
Two things here.

1) I have 15 year old b/g twins, so woodstock, I get to play this from both ends so to speak, and I can tell you right now I am going to have a double standard and always have. Not that it is intentional, I would say more instinctive. 
As a father I am more protective of my daughter.

2) Obviously my daughter is the freshman. We have met the boy and he seems nice enough. He does not have a car (his family only has 1 car), he not sure about a license. My wife picked him up when she picked up the kids from school and we took him home. So, it is a very controlled environment. Plus we have a dog that hates any displays of affection .

My son has gone out with a girl his age and they have been a group of kids going to the movie or to get a bite to eat or something. Usually not more than 6 because a lot of places around here will kick kids out if more than that. He went over to here house a few times, her parents were there.

If she went with him and a group of kids somewhere, I doubt I would think twice about it (given that I know where they are going). 

I totally agree that 15 + 18 yo is different that 17 + 20 yo.


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## MrDude (Jun 21, 2010)

major misfit said:


> Lots of heavy petting...


Gee thanks, now I feel better


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Never know what the guys motive may be. Talk with your daughter openly and often.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

MrDude said:


> Gee thanks, now I feel better


I'm sorry, but it's true.  Honestly, I would have wanted either one of my daughters to have dated the "boy" I did. I learned about my own sexuality (to a degree) through him. And he was steadfast in that he was not going to go all the way. So..to allow your child to experience their sexual side with someone they love (I was head over heels for him, and vice versa)...and to know that the guy is absolutely responsible enough to make sure nothing happens...well, I just feel really lucky I had that experience. 

We were *always* alone (I had my own apartment at 15). Plenty of opportunity. He had an iron will. It's understood that most guys aren't like that.


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## Smoothie (Mar 3, 2011)

It all depends on the people, but 18 and 14 is a pretty intense age gap for me. It just strange to think that one kid is a year from college and the other is a year from grade school. Being that young with that kind of gap can put way too much power in the seniors hands.


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