# Dom, Dom and Sub, Sub



## momtobe (Nov 12, 2009)

H and I are both Alpha type personalities with tendencies towards bondage, S&M, role playing and so on. Our problem is, when the mood hits to act out a session, we can never decide on who is the dominate and who is the submissive. It can be challenging because we both tend to try to overtake the other at some point during, and the result it sometimes dissapointing. Usually, we chalk it up to us both being dominate personalities.  Just curious, does anyone else have this issue?


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

You could gamble on something. Play strip poker, and the first one naked is sub for the night. (Or checkers, or darts, or whatever turns you on.) The shame of welching on a bet should add a little pressure to keep the loser from trying to take over. And if that doesn't do it, the winner could handcuff/blindfold/collar the sub the moment they're naked, which would help cement the power imbalance. It's probably hard to take over when you're blindfolded and your hands are cuffed behind your back.


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## momtobe (Nov 12, 2009)

The gambling and games have been tried in the past. We actually play Risk a lot and whoever wins gets to choose the role for the evening. The problem comes in once we start, the sub is tied and gagged or whatever the case may be. Then the sub starts becoming defiant and devious to where we lose sight of who is in control. It's hard to fully explain without being too graphic lol.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

The rules are simple - the sub submits or gets punished. Nothing like a good spanking to remind the sub - that at least for tonight - they are the sub. AND you guys need to learn to let go - the SUB needs to learn to let go - and go with the flow. You really will have more fun that way. 

And screw gambling - just take turns. That way you KNOW you will get to be the DOM next round. In a marriage with strong willed people the battle for control needs to stop outside the bedroom door. 




momtobe said:


> The gambling and games have been tried in the past. We actually play Risk a lot and whoever wins gets to choose the role for the evening. The problem comes in once we start, the sub is tied and gagged or whatever the case may be. Then the sub starts becoming defiant and devious to where we lose sight of who is in control. It's hard to fully explain without being too graphic lol.


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