# Fiance is not marrying until...



## lifeispriceless (Nov 25, 2016)

Hello There! Thank you for reading this. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now. We have a toddler together. I need your opinion and advice about my situation. I have a conversation with my fiance if when are we planning on getting married he jokingly said never and spelled but he apologize, he was joking. He is a jokes a lot but sometimes it is hurtful. He seriously told me to make sure i erased my name in the old mortgage from my ex-husband house. My ex-husband needs to sell or refinance the house in order to erase my name in the mortgage. I was divorced 7 years ago but ex keeps promising to sell or refinance it but until now he didn't. He is renting it out to his mother. I have no choice but to reverse my divorce decree for $2,000 in my own expense, my fiance won't put a cent to help me get out of this ex-husband bitterness. Am I desperate to even try to process and my fiance wont even help me with it. He likes our arrangement now and I should not rock the boat. I feel like I'm wasting my time going on 7 years and energy for this man. Thank you!


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

How long have you been engaged?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lifeispriceless said:


> Hello There! Thank you for reading this. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now. We have a toddler together. I need your opinion and advice about my situation. I have a conversation with my fiance if when are we planning on getting married he jokingly said never and spelled but he apologize, he was joking. He is a jokes a lot but sometimes it is hurtful. He seriously told me to make sure i erased my name in the old mortgage from my ex-husband house. My ex-husband needs to sell or refinance the house in order to erase my name in the mortgage. I was divorced 7 years ago but ex keeps promising to sell or refinance it but until now he didn't. He is renting it out to his mother. *I have no choice but to reverse my divorce decree for $2,000 in my own expense*, my fiance won't put a cent to help me get out of this ex-husband bitterness. Am I desperate to even try to process and my fiance wont even help me with it. He likes our arrangement now and I should not rock the boat. I feel like I'm wasting my time going on 7 years and energy for this man. Thank you!


Please explain what you mean by "reverse my divorce decree". And why do you need to do this?

Is your name on the deed for the house or only on the mortgage?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Please explain what you mean by "reverse my divorce decree". And why do you need to do this?
> 
> Is your name on the deed for the house or only on the mortgage?


:iagree:

I think you need better legal advice.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Quit claim deed. Done.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

3Xnocharm said:


> Quit claim deed. Done.


Quit claim deed does not take her off the mortgage.


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## Manchester (Oct 7, 2016)

You married once, it failed.

Why repeat the same mistake?

Besides you're already bonded together by having a child, that's more of a commitment than a piece of paper.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Wow, Manchester, you are hitting like EVERY THREAD spewing negativity. Whats the deal?? What about how your court date went??


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## Manchester (Oct 7, 2016)

3Xnocharm said:


> Wow, Manchester, you are hitting like EVERY THREAD spewing negativity. Whats the deal?? What about how your court date went??


I updated the thread about my court date in my very first post.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...fair-separation-agreement-8.html#post16936210 

I'm sorry if my posts are leaning towards the negative I'm not having a happy holiday.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Have you consulted a lawyer to have your name removed?

If you are looking to release your interest and collect back any investment, such would only happen through legal means... if a divorce would support such an action, even if it means a lawsuit (and a lawyer would be there for his cut -motivation) I am not sure what would.

Your fiancé could be looking for closure in your connection to your first marriage... a little insecure but understandable. What is not understandable is the lack of assistance, if it was that important to him money would not be withheld... peace of mind in this case could be purchased, but isn't.

If he creates discontent in your relationship over this, but then won't help because it costs money... you have clarity which he values more.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Tell fiance no sex until you are married.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

It isn't easy to get someone's name off a mortgage/note. If the ex needs to refinance to do so but does not qualify to refinance, there isn't much you can do, other than sell.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

I don't blame him. If your ex doesn't pay the bill, the mortgage company will come after you. It also will affect you getting approved to buy a house if you haven't done so already with your fiance. 

Your ex needs to refinance the house with his income/name only. Mortgage rates have to be cheaper now and he has to have a decent amount of equity built up, so why isn't he doing it?

My divorce was finalized on 6/10 and my ex refinanced the mortgage and her car on 10/31. I'm now free to shop for a house!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm totally confused - who is the father of your child? Your fiance or your ex husband?

If the father is your fiance, and you're together, why would you file for child support?? What am I missing?


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## lifeispriceless (Nov 25, 2016)

frusdil said:


> I'm totally confused - who is the father of your child? Your fiance or your ex husband?
> 
> If the father is your fiance, and you're together, why would you file for child support?? What am I missing?


Fiance is the father. When we got separated for a few months we filed for custody.


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## lifeispriceless (Nov 25, 2016)

Thank you all so much for your great help.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

lifeispriceless said:


> Fiance is the father. When we got separated for a few months we filed for custody.


Huh? WHO filed for custody? The two real parents? You're not making any sense.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

turnera said:


> Huh? WHO filed for custody? The two real parents? You're not making any sense.




I assume they were living together. They agreed to marry at some unspecified date in future so she called him fiancé. They no longer live together. When they split household they did a legal custody or just agreed informally on custody.

If they are separated, no wedding date, and he said he won't marry (thread title) then he is not a fiancé. Just a former boyfriend that got her pregnant.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

lifeispriceless said:


> Fiance is the father. When we got separated for a few months we filed for custody.


Now I am confused. A toddler waddles when they walk. And they talk funny.

A toddler is 1 to 3 years old, give or take a diaper.

If you have been together with your fiancee for six years, does your 6 year old kid still qualify as a toddler? 

Who, what, where, when?

Three or Four years up in smoke?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

SunCMars said:


> Now I am confused. A toddler waddles when they walk. And they talk funny.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




She never mentioned toddler.


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