# Thread Jack to a Thread Jack



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

A post was made on a different thread that might make a good discussion. 

Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them? 

Ladies of TAM, has a man that didn't find you physically attractive at first, later think you're beautiful based on your "inner beauty"?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I have never had a man who initially judged me as a 4, based solely on looks, then grow to see me as more than a likeable and easy to-get-along-with friend. Again, it's not to say that it doesn't happen but, I socialize and have dated a lot. It's not been my experience.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

There is entirely too much jacking going 😋 on but this is interesting. I don't do ratings but I will consider this and respond.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I've never had anyone tell me how they view any of this?

Do people really tell someone they're involved with that they've been assigned x number? 😳

How would you know if someone initially found you unattractive and then attractive? I don't know that I'd want to know. 😅


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Lila said:


> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?


No... I need physical attraction and a connection, personality-wise...


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Lila said:


> A post was made on a different thread that might make a good discussion.
> 
> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?


I would have to say no, never have. Also, unless we had to work together I don't see how I'd ever get to know her better.

Now it's not all about looks, but there has to be some attraction. A lot of guys will say they will take a pleasant 7 over a b*tchy 9/10. So inner beauty, or lack of, does matter.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

It is cruel to rate people...that way, huh, over someones looks.

It happens and It cannot be wished away.

When younger I gave extra points for looks, now that i am older, I count a person's personality MUCH higher.

A persons, youthful good appearance, naturally fades away with time.

Their good personality traits generally remain, or get better.

A person who strives to have a healthy body and mind rates high in my mind.

I value a lady who is comfortable in her own skin.

A lady who is comfortable with intimacy.

A lady who is an easy going companion and who is warm and affectionate.



_Are Dee-_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ok. I thought of at least one example.

I met a girl about two years ago that I initially did not find that attractive. She has some unfortunately placed and garish tattoos and didn't have noticable attractions about her form.

She wasn't unattractive in her face but didn't immediately have anything striking about her.

I got to know her over a number of weeks and she soon became a very attractive woman. Her personality and interests as well as her ability to add to a conversation allowed me to take a closer look and I started to see her as much more than I first thought.

She was also able to make me genuinely smile and laugh which is often rare.

If I had been single, she would have shown herself to be a good choice to pursue.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Increase in attractiveness is directly proportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed and inversely proportionate to the lateness of the hour.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

minimalME said:


> I've never had anyone tell me how they view any of this?
> 
> Do people really tell someone they're involved with that they've been assigned x number? 😳
> 
> How would you know if someone initially found you unattractive and then attractive? I don't know that I'd want to know. 😅


I don't think people have to directly say they don't find you attractive. For example, you meet a person where everything clicks (conversation, humor, similar hobbies, etc) but afterwards they say "I didn't feel the spark" or "no chemistry". I assume that's a nice way of saying "not physically attracted".


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I think a good amount of women are attractive so my baseline for being attracted to someone is probably a bit lower than some people. Have I met someone I found unattractive and then suddenly considered them attractive because of their personality? No. I have had people become more or less attractive based on personality but I've never checked out a girl that was downright unattractive and later wanted to get with her because she was nice.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Al_Bundy said:


> Now it's not all about looks, but there has to be some attraction. *A lot of guys will say they will take a pleasant 7 over a b*tchy 9/10. So inner beauty, or lack of, does matter.*



A lot of guys will also put up with bad behavior from an attractive partner. The level BS I've watched men put up with from women is directly proportional to how hot she is.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

When I speak of physical attraction, I mean attractive to me... beauty is very subjective. So, the person doesn't have to be objectively "beautiful" to attract me.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Lila said:


> A lot of guys will also put up with bad behavior from an attractive partner. The level BS I've watched men put up with from women is directly proportional to how hot she is.


True story. It depends on his options though. If that guy is a 5 and will likely never get with a 9 in his life otherwise, he will put up with some crap to keep her around. Especially if the guy is inexperienced or just not all there emotionally. If the guy has some options then why put up with a girl with a bad attitude? He can drop her and find someone just as attractive without the attitude.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Of course, a 4 can become an 8 and an 8 a 4 right after they open their mouths.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)




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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Most women I've met have put too much emphasis on their facial beauty. Doesn't do much good to have a face that's a 9 attached to a body of an offensive lineman.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lila said:


> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?


From “physically unattractive” to “beautiful”?

Ehh… I dunno.

But from “meh” to “beautiful”?

Absolutely.

Works the other way too — there have been plenty that have gone from “Wow, she’s gorgeous” straight to “Nope”.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

Thinking about this a little I realize I can't really answer this. Because why or how would I get to know a women I wasn't physically attracted to better ? Seems like the only way that would happen is thru work or charity because I would have to interact with. And then it's a professional relationship so it wouldn't cross my mind that I suddenly find her more attractive. I guess it could - but never have.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I have observed that some women (ahem😳) are much prettier when they are not wearing their resting ***** face.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Lila said:


> A post was made on a different thread that might make a good discussion.
> 
> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?


Yes and no. If they were completely not my type and were completely unattractive to me, then it wouldn't matter much.

Now I'm not picky. Don't need, or want, a supermodel. And certain things attract me more. For me, the face is the #1. She can be somewhat overweight, that doesn't bother me. The face is what I go for. And even then she doesn't have to be perfect.

Having said that, yes, someone who may be just a tad above unattractive ended up with me being very attracted because of the personality.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Lila said:


> A lot of guys will also put up with bad behavior from an attractive partner. The level BS I've watched men put up with from women is directly proportional to how hot she is.


Not me. And conceited women turn me off in a big way. They can be someone else's problem.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Lila said:


> I don't think people have to directly say they don't find you attractive. For example, you meet a person where everything clicks (conversation, humor, similar hobbies, etc) but afterwards they say "I didn't feel the spark" or "no chemistry". I assume that's a nice way of saying "not physically attracted".


I think finding a person attractive and being physically attracted are two different animals. They might think you are a nine but if the sparks aren't flying then they aren't physically attracted.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

2&out said:


> Thinking about this a little I realize I can't really answer this. Because why or how would I get to know a women I wasn't physically attracted to better ? Seems like the only way that would happen is thru work or charity because I would have to interact with. And then it's a professional relationship so it wouldn't cross my mind that I suddenly find her more attractive. I guess it could - but never have.


What about in social circles? And hobby circles?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> I think finding a person attractive and being physically attracted are two different animals. They might think you are a nine but if the sparks aren't flying then they aren't physically attracted.


I wish I hadn't started this thread on a day when I'm so busy at work (lots of deliverables due) because this would make an interesting topic in and of itself.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> Most women I've met have put too much emphasis on their facial beauty. Doesn't do much good to have a face that's a 9 attached to a body of an offensive lineman.


See, I find bulky lineman bodies very unattractive, but I love a nice face. Still, if the lineman had a great personality, he would become more attractive to me. It's unlikely since I hate football.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> I think finding a person attractive and being physically attracted are two different animals. They might think you are a nine but if the sparks aren't flying then they aren't physically attracted.


Good point.

Cate Blanchette is a good example of this, IMO — outwardly very attractive but just kinda… “meh”. Not sure why.

That said, she may be a wonderful person; if so, that could easily be something that would make her very desirable.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I definitely had guys seem more attractive to me because of their charm and interests. 

And I am definitely a woman who attracted guys way more attractive than me because of my interests and personality. I had a flat chest and a flat butt and a thick waist, a pretty enough face but with a big nose. The guys I was close to, we bonded over music and ambition and sense of humor. I had a few who, after not seeing them for years, said I inspired them to go after their dreams. I met a lot of them through or at work, because some men absolutely do start forming attraction to a woman who is just nearby over repeated times as they get to know her. I had a lot of love and comaraderie with a good sized circle that included a lot of men. I was like the female cog in the wheel in our big circle. If someone wanted to know where someone was, they came and found me. If someone had local band conflicts (ego, usually), they came and talked to me. If they had something on their mind, they confessed to me. Over my lifetime, I've had so many people just come up, even strangers, and start confessing things to me or pouring out their problem. 

It's funny because 20 years later, I remember going to a little local band reunion, and a lot of the old crowd was there. It wasn't 10 minutes before it all started back up again with one of my old acquaintances I rarely ever saw talking about being irked with another of my old friends who hosted the event (money stuff). Just like old times. 

You don't have to be a 9 or 10 to bond if you have other attributes such as charisma, passion about interests, humor, and are entertaining. There are certainly a lot of completely shallow people out there, but those weren't who I chose to hang out with. That choice is mine. I hung out with people who had a little more on their brains than just getting laid, although that possibility was always imminent for most of them (us). 

I love a pretty guy as far as what I prefer physically, but being only a pretty guy not backed up with any personality or just not clicking because you're too different made me lose any initial attraction for them. Instead I would introduce other women to them in case they liked them better. One that stood out was a calendar model for a radio station, very handsome, and he did have some good wit. I think there was a little mutual interest from the beginning, but there was just no click other than that. 

Dated another pretty guy who actually had some money, and we gave it a few weekends and it just fizzled. He didn't really have any conversational skills and liked me mostly because I did, I guess. But I ran out of "material" and it fizzled. Hah. 

Of course, none of this was online dating, and it never would have worked if it was. Best advice for the not 9 or 10s is become interesting and be entertaining and meet people in real life preferably in situations you will keep coming in contact with them.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

Lila said:


> What about in social circles? And hobby circles?


I guess in my younger days when looking for a life partner yes - possibly. But frankly, I never recall thinking to myself or trying to convince myself that any I was interacting with I should reconsider or "give more of a chance". It's a bit hard to explain and writing this it sounds/seems pretty conceited - but I always felt/knew I'd find someone to marry so I only pursued ones I was infatuated with from the beginning.

Now it's probably not a possibility as finding a life partner is not a priority or on my radar. I like 'em and am drawn to them or I'm not - and only pay attention to those that I am. I don't need to be someone's special person and I don't have need or desire to be someone elses so don't look at or consider them that way. I view them all as now relationships - not down the road. But yea - someone can and have in the past grown on me and I liked them more later than I did in the beginning but as you referenced - it's just as friends - not in a I think we might be _special_ partners way.

I accept and am fine with I'm not the type of guy the vast majority of ladies on TAM want, like. I'm a lot or some of the "bad things" men can be/are - but I'm only half evil  Seems the local rumor is I'm kind of fun - so I'm not home watching the tube wishing I had something to do hardly ever. It works for me and I don't think I'm going to hell... yet


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Yes, I have, but not to the extent that I dated them (probably because I had other options whom I found more attractive).


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Lila said:


> I wish I hadn't started this thread on a day when I'm so busy at work (lots of deliverables due) because this would make an interesting topic in and of itself.


Start that one when you have time. It really is an interesting topic.

Back in the day I briefly dated a few guys who were very physically attractive but who were just not attractive to me. I admired their looks and enjoyed their company for a little while but as far as being _really_ attracted to them … nope. One in particular was on everyone’s wish list when I was in college but … nope. OTOH, there were guys who weren’t head-turners but I was extremely attracted to them because of their personality and just overall who they were.

I never experienced being attracted to a guy who wasn’t attracted to me so there wasn’t that issue to deal with but there were times I had to explain to a few that they needed to stop assuming how I looked was how I actually was. Nope … far from it. I didn’t like being placed on a pedestal, and felt to have all these virtues that I didn’t have, based on how I looked. That was a little too shallow for me and none of them were who I chose to marry.

I find the whole male/female relationship thing a mystery truthfully. It’s never made sense to me and maybe that’s why I now want no part of it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

That’s a no for me. 

Thinking back to when I was in college I was always going for women out of my league on the looks scale. The funny thing is, I’m really not that picky it just so happened that the girls who were interested in stuff I was doing (guitar, partying) also happened to be really hot.

Much better success with women within striking range who also shared common interests.

However I can say my baseline was probably unfair. I just looked at my wedding pictures and other old pictures and my wife looked way better than me. I was like damn I did good, how did I do that?

Anyway when I was in grad school there was one girl who I knew liked me and if I wanted to I could have done stuff with her but I was a no based on the looks, and she wasn’t ugly or anything she just didn’t do it for me. Perfectly nice, great personality but she was a no on the would/would not scale.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

2&out said:


> I guess in my younger days when looking for a life partner yes - possibly. But frankly, I never recall thinking to myself or trying to convince myself that any I was interacting with I should reconsider or "give more of a chance". It's a bit hard to explain and writing this it sounds/seems pretty conceited - but I always felt/knew I'd find someone to marry so I only pursued ones I was infatuated with from the beginning.
> 
> Now it's probably not a possibility as finding a life partner is not a priority or on my radar. I like 'em and am drawn to them or I'm not - and only pay attention to those that I am. I don't need to be someone's special person and I don't have need or desire to be someone elses so don't look at or consider them that way. I view them all as now relationships - not down the road. But yea - someone can and have in the past grown on me and I liked them more later than I did in the beginning but as you referenced - it's just as friends - not in a I think we might be _special_ partners way.
> 
> I accept and am fine with I'm not the type of guy the vast majority of ladies on TAM want, like. I'm a lot or some of the "bad things" men can be/are - but I'm only half evil  Seems the local rumor is I'm kind of fun - so I'm not home watching the tube wishing I had something to do hardly ever. It works for me and I don't think I'm going to hell... yet


Make no mistake, you ARE going to hell!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

For me, most often I have found it to be the reverse. An 8 ends up being a 4 as soon as she opens her mouth or I get to know her.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> For me, most often I have found it to be the reverse. An 8 ends up being a 4 as soon as she opens her mouth or I get to know her.


Yes, that is often the case, with men or women. But leaves more for someone else!


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> For me, most often I have found it to be the reverse. An 8 ends up being a 4 as soon as she opens her mouth or I get to know her.


Precisely. I'm more leery of thinking I have anything in common with a knockout than someone who isn't as high on the scale. That and I don't like women who are full of themselves.

Sure, attraction is important, but character is more important.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

drencrom said:


> Precisely. I'm more leery of thinking I have anything in common with a knockout than someone who isn't as high on the scale.
> 
> Sure, attraction is important, but character is more important.


Like I said on another thread, you can keep your "10". Give me two "5's" and I'll call it a night!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Yes, that is often the case, with men or women. But leaves more for someone else!


I think this happens a lot too. I mentioned in another thread that if an attractive young lady says “like” in her first couple sentences she immediately turns into a child and hence ewwww…


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Aside from Reddit there are now neural nets that will score you. I tried one after reading a Reddit thread from a guy who got a face score of 5. I was like hmm I wonder how bad I am.

6.5 “pretty good” which lined up with where I had myself roughly and around where I would put my wife although as a gentleman I did not do her picture. Her favorite guy is The Rock, I sent his picture in and he got 7.5 so I am not that bad off hahah.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Aside from Reddit there are now neural nets that will score you. I tried one after reading a Reddit thread from a guy who got a face score of 5. I was like hmm I wonder how bad I am.
> 
> 6.5 “pretty good” which lined up with where I had myself roughly and around where I would put my wife although as a gentleman I did not do her picture. Her favorite guy is The Rock, I sent his picture in and he got 7.5 so I am not that bad off hahah.


I got a -2.8


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Lila said:


> A lot of guys will also put up with bad behavior from an attractive partner. The level BS I've watched men put up with from women is directly proportional to how hot she is.


Agreed, and we have had some come to TAM.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I got a -2.8


Today I am wearing a tight fit polo and I think I am punching above my weight class. I think today I could be pulling as high as a 7.

I got the “are you interviewing for assistant manager at Wendy’s” joke in a meeting.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Today I am wearing a tight fit polo and I think I am punching above my weight class. I think today I could be pulling as high as a 7.
> 
> I got the “are you interviewing for assistant manager at Wendy’s” joke in a meeting.


When I had the mawashi on last week I think I would have gotten a 5!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Lila said:


> What about in social circles? And hobby circles?


Sure, it’s actually way better if you’re not attracted to them.

I have paired up with ladies in the gym when I was younger maybe 35 with a 25 year old lady and they probably had to wipe the drool off the floor after class. Nobody needs that. I’d rather be helping someone get in shape and lose a few pounds.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Like I said on another thread, you can keep your "10". Give me two "5's" and I'll call it a night!





ccpowerslave said:


> I think this happens a lot too. I mentioned in another thread that if an attractive young lady says “like” in her first couple sentences she immediately turns into a child and hence ewwww…


That's funny -- and it eliminates a LOT of people.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Aside from Reddit there are now neural nets that will score you. I tried one after reading a Reddit thread from a guy who got a face score of 5. I was like hmm I wonder how bad I am.
> 
> 6.5 “pretty good” which lined up with where I had myself roughly and around where I would put my wife although as a gentleman I did not do her picture. Her favorite guy is The Rock, I sent his picture in and he got 7.5 so I am not that bad off hahah.


People like to punish, so guessing any men on there rating who resented pretty boys would purposely take you down a peg with their score.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> When I had the mawashi on last week I think I would have gotten a 5!


No doubt!


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Make no mistake, you ARE going to hell!


Based on Diana7 posts she has likely already sent a reservation for me.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

2&out said:


> Based on Diana7 posts she has likely already sent a reservation for me.


She calls them like she sees them!


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

Lila said:
A lot of guys will also put up with bad behavior from an attractive partner. The level BS I've watched men put up with from women is directly proportional to how hot she is.



Diana7 said:


> Agreed, and we have had some come to TAM.


I'm one of them. But as in most of life there is a double edge sword aspect and it's not all bad. I'm probably extra vane and likely a lot of the guys won't admit it - but it's true... having major arm candy is a hell of an ego boost and special feeling.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Lila said:


> A post was made on a different thread that might make a good discussion.
> 
> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?
> 
> Ladies of TAM, has a man that didn't find you physically attractive at first, later think you're beautiful based on your "inner beauty"?


Not since I was 18. I didn't dress up or act flirty at college and wore glasses while other girls decked it out. After the guys in our friend's group saw me dolled up at a campus event, they looked at me differently, some of them tried to date me. So it certainly wasn't my personality that interested them.



Lila said:


> I don't think people have to directly say they don't find you attractive. For example, you meet a person where everything clicks (conversation, humor, similar hobbies, etc) but afterwards they say "I didn't feel the spark" or "no chemistry". I assume that's a nice way of saying "not physically attracted".


Wow, that must be crushing, thinking you're going to see the person again and then having that said. How does that work anyway? I don't understand how you can have so much in common with someone and then zip...?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

2&out said:


> I'm one of them. But as in most of life there is a double edge sword aspect and it's not all bad. I'm probably extra vane and likely a lot of the guys won't admit it - but it's true... having major arm candy is a hell of an ego boost and special feeling.


It really is. Like it or not, people are competitive and this is just one of many ways we like to compete. As a guy at least, having an attractive partner is just beneficial in so many ways.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> It really is. Like it or not, people are competitive and this is just one of many ways we like to compete. As a guy at least, having an attractive partner is just beneficial in so many ways.


Why is that though? Is it another form of validation that hey a hot chick likes me, I'm worth something? Like how some women are with being given expensive jewelry to show status?

Why does it matter what other people think of you because of who you are with?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Why is that though? Is it another form of validation that hey a hot chick likes me, I'm worth something? Like how some women are with being given expensive jewelry to show status?
> 
> Why does it matter what other people think of you because of who you are with?


In all honesty, there have been countless social experiments showing that attractive people (both men and women) get a leg up in society. From business to commerce, social to private.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> In all honesty, there have been countless social experiments showing that attractive people (both men and women) get a leg up in society. From business to commerce, social to private.


Oh, I get that, but that's business. 

I can't figure out how to say this in a nice way, so I'll just say it (Sorry Lila!) 
When I was single I didn't rate men, he was either ****able or not, I either liked him or not, we went further or not. There was no holding out for a "better" option, b/c it's stupid to throw away someone you like who likes you to score social approval points with other people. 

The whole rating system was a revelation, quite frankly it's dehumanizing and disgusting. Before anyone gets butthurt, I'm not saying anyone should try to be with someone they don't find attractive for whatever reason. Every person won't be universally attractive, but they'll be attractive to someone, so why is it so important to pigeonhole people into a pecking order?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Oh, I get that, but that's business.
> 
> I can't figure out how to say this in a nice way, so I'll just say it (Sorry Lila!)
> When I was single I didn't rate men, he was either ****able or not, I either liked him or not, we went further or not. There was no holding out for a "better" option, b/c it's stupid to throw away someone you like who likes you to score social approval points with other people.
> ...


Unfortunately, that's life 😪


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Why is that though? Is it another form of validation that hey a hot chick likes me, I'm worth something? Like how some women are with being given expensive jewelry to show status?
> 
> Why does it matter what other people think of you because of who you are with?


You will earn the admiration of others. Something many people enjoy. There is also a phenomena I have noticed where having a really attractive partner helps you with the ladies. Even after the breakup, your stock rises with other women, especially if you had the nerve to break things off that that hottie. I've been there and it's still amazing to me. Just having her around meant we got better treatment almost everywhere we went. If I ever needed an excuse, I just used her. "Sorry boys, can't make it tonight, the GF wants me to stay home with her." Not to mention you have someone hot in your bedroom at night. The benefits are near endless really. There's a reason guys fight so hard to get a hot GF.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

The far more common scenario that I am familiar with; or having seen with a number of my peers or friends, is men falling for a woman whom at the outset they find physically attractive, and fall in love with, and then their appearance changes due to time or circumstance, but attraction does not.

My attraction radar has changed substantially over the last few years. Beyond 50, I don't care how much you diet or exercise, male or female, something, somewhere, on your body with any given motion or movement is gonna droop.

I'm comfortable stating that generally men are looking for initial attraction markers.

At 30, I was simply never, ever, going to be attracted to a woman who weighed as much as I did. Wasn't mean about it. It just was. Same as I know MANY women who are never going to be attracted to a man that is shorter than they are. It's just a thing. I'm dating a woman right now, who was simply not interested in dating any man under 5'10". Friend tried to set her up with a very successful, handsome, wealthy, doctor. No dice. He was 5' 6".

And it's easy enough to see that the same caveats apply. You can have a sparkling personality. Completely have your act together. Money ... etc. But, if that initial spark of attraction isn't present, it seldom changes substantially, whether it's height, amount of hair, body shape, you name it.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'll also throw out there that social media and online dating apps have absolutely contributed to a very common and extraordinary odd dating dysmorphia, whereby people may meet someone wonderful, but simply presume that something better awaits.

Betterism. That seems to be what people want.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I dated a physically unattractive man for over two years. I dated him because I liked his personality, he had brains, we shared a lot of things in common (at the beginning.) Then he turned into this insecure beast who alienated me from my friends and family. He broke up with me because I was better looking than him. He told me he was tired of living "under my shadow." The guy had money, went to expensive schools, he had friends, he had a lot of good things going for him, but he didn't see his own worth back then. He's now married to an attractive woman. He has a few successful business, I think he's a millionaire. I don't understand why he was insecure. 

Since then, I decided to never date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. I was not going to deal with someone's insecurities again. I also like assertive men who are not afraid to speak their minds. My ex was passive aggressive as well, so...

I learned my lesson the hard way.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> You will earn the admiration of others. Something many people enjoy. There is also a phenomena I have noticed where having a really attractive partner helps you with the ladies. Even after the breakup, your stock rises with other women, especially if you had the nerve to break things off that that hottie. I've been there and it's still amazing to me. Just having her around meant we got better treatment almost everywhere we went. If I ever needed an excuse, I just used her. "Sorry boys, can't make it tonight, the GF wants me to stay home with her." Not to mention you have someone hot in your bedroom at night. The benefits are near endless really. There's a reason guys fight so hard to get a hot GF.


Yup, sounds like validation. Like someone riding on another person's coattails to greatness. Eh, different strokes for different folks.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Deejo said:


> The far more common scenario that I am familiar with; or having seen with a number of my peers or friends, is men falling for a woman whom at the outset they find physically attractive, and fall in love with, and then their appearance changes due to time or circumstance, but attraction does not.
> 
> My attraction radar has changed substantially over the last few years. Beyond 50, I don't care how much you diet or exercise, male or female, something, somewhere, on your body with any given motion or movement is gonna droop.
> 
> ...


That's fair. 


Deejo said:


> I'll also throw out there that social media and online dating apps have absolutely contributed to a very common and extraordinary odd dating dysmorphia, whereby people may meet someone wonderful, but simply presume that something better awaits.
> 
> Betterism. That seems to be what people want.


This is what I don't get. There's always going to be something you don't like about someone, so what makes another prospect "better" if what you already have is good.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I do find this stuff fascinating @Lila 

For example, people lose their mind over this woman.

I appreciate her story. She's married, is a mother, had some crappy health issues come her way (which I can relate to) that had a detrimental impact to her appearance ... so she adjusted accordingly.

Princess Glitterhead

My point being, husband who is quite obviously a regular dude, met her, fell in love with her, and continued to do so, throughout, regardless of how she 'appeared'.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

TXTrini said:


> Oh, I get that, but that's business.
> 
> I can't figure out how to say this in a nice way, so I'll just say it (Sorry Lila!)
> When I was single I didn't rate men, he was either ****able or not, I either liked him or not, we went further or not. There was no holding out for a "better" option, b/c it's stupid to throw away someone you like who likes you to score social approval points with other people.
> ...


Isn't even a binary system still a rating system?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No doubt!


LOL As I was looking it up, I was hoping it wasn't that loin cloth the sumo wrestlers wear. No such luck.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> You will earn the admiration of others. Something many people enjoy. There is also a phenomena I have noticed where having a really attractive partner helps you with the ladies. Even after the breakup, your stock rises with other women, especially if you had the nerve to break things off that that hottie. I've been there and it's still amazing to me. Just having her around meant we got better treatment almost everywhere we went. If I ever needed an excuse, I just used her. "Sorry boys, can't make it tonight, the GF wants me to stay home with her." Not to mention you have someone hot in your bedroom at night. The benefits are near endless really. There's a reason guys fight so hard to get a hot GF.


This is definitely one of life's cold hard truths.

A hot woman is like a high status guy. I've mentioned in other threads how I've seen women with a degree in uselessness snub a guy who works in trades because it's beneath them to marry a plumber or welder. They want that validation to say they married a doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc......


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Deejo said:


> I'll also throw out there that social media and online dating apps have absolutely contributed to a very common and extraordinary odd dating dysmorphia, whereby people may meet someone wonderful, but simply presume that something better awaits.
> 
> Betterism. That seems to be what people want.


On top of that some think they have all the time in the world as well.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Why is that though? Is it another form of validation that hey a hot chick likes me, I'm worth something? Like how some women are with being given expensive jewelry to show status?
> 
> Why does it matter what other people think of you because of who you are with?


That's how I see it. On another forum, and Enigma may remember this, there was an incel who was about a 2. He wouldn't even consider trying to date a woman who wasn't a solid 8-10 and this went on for like a year of people trying to reason with him, and I just think he wanted to prop himself up with a good looking woman more than anything. Prop up his self-confidence and ego and very important to show the world this woman. 

Like it would rub off on him.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> This is definitely one of life's cold hard truths.
> 
> A hot woman is like a high status guy. I've mentioned in other threads how I've seen women with a degree in uselessness snub a guy who works in trades because it's beneath them to marry a plumber or welder. They want that validation to say they married a doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc......


I'm lucky not to have had to get to know such a woman in my 69 years, but I know snobs are out there. People tend to try to elevate themselves one way or the other. And that is often a money thing. Like their parents might not approve if they weren't up at their level -- but those parents apparently don't know how much a good plumber makes. My plumber is the only person I know who has an RV and a swimming pool sitting by his McMansion.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> In all honesty, there have been countless social experiments showing that attractive people (both men and women) get a leg up in society. From business to commerce, social to private.


Yes, being one, that is true. Just having one doesn't get the job done though.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Deejo said:


> I do find this stuff fascinating @Lila
> 
> For example, people lose their mind over this woman.
> 
> ...


There are some models who look way way worse without all their makeup. Of course, this woman has enormous fake boobs, so she was never going to have that much trouble finding a man.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> LOL As I was looking it up, I was hoping it wasn't that loin cloth the sumo wrestlers wear. No such luck.


If you can even call it that!! All those shreds!


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's how I see it. On another forum, and Enigma may remember this, there was an incel who was about a 2. He wouldn't even consider trying to date a woman who wasn't a solid 8-10 and this went on for like a year of people trying to reason with him, and I just think he wanted to prop himself up with a good looking woman more than anything. Prop up his self-confidence and ego and very important to show the world this woman.
> 
> Like it would rub off on him.


Would you say he felt entitled to a beautiful woman? I'm asking because I've seen that where the guy (or gal) doesn't want to do the work necessary. They want it handed to them the same way they got handed a trophy for just showing up to the ballgame when they were a kid.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, that must be crushing, thinking you're going to see the person again and then having that said. How does that work anyway? I don't understand how you can have so much in common with someone and then zip...?


 I had this happen to me right before this last go round with SO (March 2021). I met a man a couple years ago through my social circle. We immediately clicked. I took a chance and asked him out on a date. He very sweetly let me know that he thinks of me as a friend... And that's it. The crazy thing is that the last time we were out and about in our group (few weeks ago), people assumed we were dating just because our interactions are so comfortable for lack of a better word.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

A guy where I used to work was average looking, with a really bad personality and alcoholism. He was one of those guys who would routinely insult everyone and then say "just kidding" and then put them down for not being able to take a joke. For awhile, he had a really pretty girlfriend, tall and willowy. Everyone talked behind his back, especially his boss. Like he would take me aside and say, "What on earth does she see in him? He must have a big **** or something." Now, this young lady was very nice but she was also dumb as a box of rocks and just about as uninformed as anyone can be at her age. She did finally dump him and married right away what I sure hope was a better guy. But no, having her didn't impress anyone. It just made people talk and make fun of him.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> In all honesty, there have been countless social experiments showing that attractive people (both men and women) get a leg up in society. From business to commerce, social to private.


It's called the Halo Effect.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> Would you say he felt entitled to a beautiful woman? I'm asking because I've seen that where the guy (or gal) doesn't want to do the work necessary. They want it handed to them the same way they got handed a trophy for just showing up to the ballgame when they were a kid.


I mean, we explored all venues with him trying to get at it so it made sense. I do think there was a lot of entitlement, but I think his desperate need was to prop up his ego. He literally said he would rather not ever have any woman if he couldn't get a real attractive one. We had all the discussions about media influence, and I think that was a lot of it. I mean, he grew up thinking men get one of those (because there's hardly any unattractive women in the media), and he just couldn't let go of it. Being an incel, he wasn't out in the world too much either, but he did have a job.

I think having a woman on his same attractiveness level, he would have thought made him look worse.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> LOL As I was looking it up, I was hoping it wasn't that loin cloth the sumo wrestlers wear. No such luck.


I looked good!!! LOL


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lila said:


> I had this happen to me right before this last go round with SO (March 2021). I met a man a couple years ago through my social circle. We immediately clicked. I took a chance and asked him out on a date. He very sweetly let me know that he thinks of me as a friend... And that's it. The crazy thing is that the last time we were out and about in our group (few weeks ago), people assumed we were dating just because our interactions are so comfortable for lack of a better word.


That's happened to me in different situations about 3 times. One was a gay guy a lot younger than me. But to be fair, he wouldn't admit to himself he was gay and did like to think of me as his girlfriend (beard -- there was no touching whatsoever). 

Another was a really good looking guy and we did a lot together. We never discussed what our thing was. It was always on the table. We went out of town overnight and all sorts of things. He kept his actual sex/love life pretty under wraps but he did talk to me about it and me to him about mine. But you didn't really see him with whoever he was banging. Him and one of my great loves both had it bad for the same barmaid. Sigh. Certainly all the jealous suspicious guys who are on here from being cheated on would never have believed he and I never kissed or anything. He did ask about me after his divorce, but since he stole my other great love's 2nd wife from him, I cut all contact back then. Too complicated.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Deejo said:


> I'll also throw out there that social media and online dating apps have absolutely contributed to a very common and extraordinary odd dating dysmorphia, whereby people may meet someone wonderful, but simply presume that something better awaits.
> 
> Betterism. That seems to be what people want.



Ain't that the truth! It's a real life version of Let's Make A Deal. Do you take the $1,000 Monty is offering you or go for what is behind Door #2


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's happened to me in different situations about 3 times. One was a gay guy a lot younger than me. But to be fair, he wouldn't admit to himself he was gay and did like to think of me as his girlfriend (beard -- there was no touching whatsoever).
> 
> Another was a really good looking guy and we did a lot together. We never discussed what our thing was. It was always on the table. We went out of town overnight and all sorts of things. He kept his actual sex/love life pretty under wraps but he did talk to me about it and me to him about mine. But you didn't really see him with whoever he was banging. Him and one of my great loves both had it bad for the same barmaid. Sigh. Certainly all the jealous suspicious guys who are on here from being cheated on would never have believed he and I never kissed or anything. He did ask about me after his divorce, but since he stole my other great love's 2nd wife from him, I cut all contact back then. Too complicated.


I will say this.... I may strike out but I have never been used by a man. The ones I was interested in who weren't interested in me let me know up front. Don't know if it's because they don't want to hurt me or I give off "I'll **** up your car" vibes. 😂😂 ( Just kidding on the **** up your car vibes).


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lila said:


> I will say this.... I may strike out but I have never been used by a man. The ones I was interested in who weren't interested in me let me know up front. Don't know if it's because they don't want to hurt me or I give off "I'll *** up your car" vibes. 😂😂 ( Just kidding on the *** up your car vibes).


Well, I'm sure I got used plenty, but I myself was a stone cold player in my early 20s with nary a conscience. It was the '70s. Hard to cast blame!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Al_Bundy said:


> Isn't even a binary system still a rating system?


How? Rating someone 0-10 shows you think they're universally unattractive, or something is wrong with them, not that they aren't the right fit for a particular person. If you can't see the difference, I can't explain it any better.



Lila said:


> I had this happen to me right before this last go round with SO (March 2021). I met a man a couple years ago through my social circle. We immediately clicked. I took a chance and asked him out on a date. He very sweetly let me know that he thinks of me as a friend... And that's it. The crazy thing is that the last time we were out and about in our group (few weeks ago), people assumed we were dating just because our interactions are so comfortable for lack of a better word.


At least he was honest and respectful and not a jackass about it, what a gentleman.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'm lucky not to have had to get to know such a woman in my 69 years, but I know snobs are out there. People tend to try to elevate themselves one way or the other. And that is often a money thing. Like their parents might not approve if they weren't up at their level -- but those parents apparently don't know how much a good plumber makes. My plumber is the only person I know who has an RV and a swimming pool sitting by his McMansion.


Girllll, I've had 2 sexy plumbers I might have flirted with if I were single , I wouldn't complain seeing their cracks 😂


DownByTheRiver said:


> There are some models who look way way worse without all their makeup. Of course, this woman has enormous fake boobs, so she was never going to have that much trouble finding a man.


That's a major reason Caribbean men weren't particularly interested in me, I was never voluptuous. Other men do, though, and I only need one. 


DownByTheRiver said:


> A guy where I used to work was average looking, with a really bad personality and alcoholism. He was one of those guys who would routinely insult everyone and then say "just kidding" and then put them down for not being able to take a joke. For awhile, he had a really pretty girlfriend, tall and willowy. Everyone talked behind his back, especially his boss. Like he would take me aside and say, "What on earth does she see in him? He must have a big **** or something." Now, this young lady was very nice but she was also dumb as a box of rocks and just about as uninformed as anyone can be at her age. She did finally dump him and married right away what I sure hope was a better guy. But no, having her didn't impress anyone. It just made people talk and make fun of him.


Sounds like my ex! His mom used to tell him he looked like a movie star and call him cutesy names at 40 though.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lila said:


> I had this happen to me right before this last go round with SO (March 2021). I met a man a couple years ago through my social circle. We immediately clicked. I took a chance and asked him out on a date. He very sweetly let me know that he thinks of me as a friend... And that's it. The crazy thing is that the last time we were out and about in our group (few weeks ago), people assumed we were dating just because our interactions are so comfortable for lack of a better word.


I always assume when that happens that they are carrying a torch for some woman. So at least he didn't just use you for sex or lead you on. You know, I guess more women than me, but most women I know were carrying a torch for someone, playing the long game to see if there was a chance. And some guys do that too, but maybe not as many. I certainly knew a few who did, though.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

DownByTheRiver said:


> There are some models who look way way worse without all their makeup. Of course, this woman has enormous fake boobs, so she was never going to have that much trouble finding a man.


Frankly either way, she's not my cup of teeth ... TEA! I mean TEA!

But I can appreciate the point of the exercise. She is who she is, and likely who her husband fell for, long before the teeth, the boobs, the makeup and hair extensions. Whether you think she looks like nightmare fuel, or Instagram model.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Girllll, I've had 2 sexy plumbers I might have flirted with if I were single , I wouldn't complain seeing their cracks 😂
> 
> That's a major reason Caribbean men weren't particularly interested in me, I was never voluptuous. Other men do, though, and I only need one.
> 
> Sounds like my ex! His mom used to tell him he looked like a movie star and call him cutesy names at 40 though.


Oh, boy, now that is a huge problem, and I think a lot of moms do that. To them, they ARE the most beautiful thing. Just goes to show what hormones can do to your logic. 

My plumber finally retired but was using him 20+ years and he was very married but always huggy and all. We got old and fat at about the same pace....

I didn't realize that about Caribbean men!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Deejo said:


> Frankly either way, *she's not my cup of teeth ... *TEA! I mean TEA!
> 
> But I can appreciate the point of the exercise. She is who she is, and likely who her husband fell for, long before the teeth, the boobs, the makeup and hair extensions. Whether you think she looks like nightmare fuel, or IG model, she is who she is.


You, my friend, are also going to hell, along with 333! 

Thank you, Lord, for this thread. It has made me laugh until my side hurt multiple times. I needed that.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Oh, boy, now that is a huge problem, and I think a lot of moms do that. To them, they ARE the most beautiful thing. Just goes to show what hormones can do to your logic.
> 
> My plumber finally retired but was using him 20+ years and he was very married but always huggy and all. We got old and fat at about the same pace....
> 
> I didn't realize that about Caribbean men!


He wasn't ugly or anything (I married him, right? lol 😂), he was just entitled. He expected me to be in much better shape than him, despite my medical issues (He had none but looked like 9 months pregnant). 

Yeah, they liked big boobs and butt, I was always athletic and a bit muscular. Isn't it great to work with the same folks for so many years?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> He wasn't ugly or anything (I married him, right? lol 😂), he was just entitled. He expected me to be in much better shape than him, despite my medical issues (He had none but looked like 9 months pregnant).
> 
> Yeah, they liked big boobs and butt, I was always athletic and a bit muscular. Isn't it great to work with the same folks for so many years?


See, that's even more common now because of all the "trophies for nothing" and constant validation for accomplishing ---------nothing. It's a hard reality check at some point, or at least I hope so. 

Yes, it's nice to have especially contractors you know have your back!


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> I have observed that some women (ahem😳) are much prettier when they are not wearing their resting *** face.


This would make a great thread too. 

"What facial expressions say about you".


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Lila said:


> This would make a great thread too.
> 
> "What facial expressions say about you".


Even better…what do your WRINKLES say about you? Think about it  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Even better…what do your WRINKLES say about you? Think about it
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Omg!!!! I'm dying here after your post. My first thought was "Lila's been hitting the Botox kind of hard lately. She _says_ she's smiling but she looks scared. 😳" 😂😂😂😂


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> There are some models who look way way worse without all their makeup.


So this is an interesting one. Every single woman I have dated or been interested in wore almost no makeup including my wife who sometimes will put on some mascara but that’s it.

We’re going out tonight to Billy Idol and she’s not going to put on any I’m pretty sure.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> So this is an interesting one. Every single woman I have dated or been interested in wore almost no makeup including my wife who sometimes will put on some mascara but that’s it.
> 
> We’re going out tonight to Billy Idol and she’s not going to put on any I’m pretty sure.


Oh, I wish I was seeing Billy Idol! Well, you are choosing women who don't wear makeup, my friend. "Almost no" is still very much makeup. It can take longer to make up to "look natural" than to make up to look glam. I've known a lot of men who were very naive about this. I wore dramatic makeup so I got into conversations with guys about it who would say they didn't like makeup and I'd ask for an example, and it would be some model who it took 2 hours to get to look "natural."


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

WRT blue collar tradesmen:

1. Many have a good grip and strong forearms.
2. You can make a lot of money doing it.
3. Level 5 drywall.

I see the point though that if women select for intelligence then it doesn’t project that as well as some white collar jobs, but oh well?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> "Almost no" is still very much makeup.


Yeah I get it but in my wife’s case I live with her and see what she does. All she has out is mascara.

I do like nails though, if she gets her nails done I love it but she almost never does this the claim is, “they chip”. Early on when I was dating her she’d sometimes have a French manicure.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> How? Rating someone 0-10 shows you think they're universally unattractive, or something is wrong with them, not that they aren't the right fit for a particular person. If you can't see the difference, I can't explain it any better.


And I think that denying that some people are universally unattractive is just sticking your head in the sand in regards to reality. I know I can look at myself and figure I am about average. If I were to meet someone who called me a 4, I wouldn't get offended, it's probably close to the truth. That number just gives people a pretty good idea of how attractive/unattractive someone is for the purposes of conversation.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> And I think that denying that some people are universally unattractive is just sticking your head in the sand in regards to reality. I know I can look at myself and figure I am about average. If I were to meet someone who called me a 4, I wouldn't get offended, it's probably close to the truth. That number just gives people a pretty good idea of how attractive/unattractive someone is for the purposes of conversation.


I know I am unattractive but it is actually liberating


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's how I see it. On another forum, and Enigma may remember this, there was an incel who was about a 2. He wouldn't even consider trying to date a woman who wasn't a solid 8-10 and this went on for like a year of people trying to reason with him, and I just think he wanted to prop himself up with a good looking woman more than anything. Prop up his self-confidence and ego and very important to show the world this woman.
> 
> Like it would rub off on him.


I'm still not 100% sure all those incels over there weren't either trolls or just the same guy making new accounts. They seemed very similar to me. Either way, I hated those guys. If you expect someone hot, that's fine, but go out and earn it. Don't sit back and just demand the best partner ever when you look like you should be hanging out under a bridge.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I know I am unattractive but it is actually liberating


As a man especially, being unattractive can hold you back quite a bit but I have found that ladies will often be attracted to other qualities other than physical appearance. If you seem capable, are intelligent, and basically have your life in order, a lot of women will want you even if you are just average or a bit under. I'm basically an average looking guy but almost every female I meet ends up wanting to get with me eventually because I'm not a goon like most of these guys out there.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah I get it but in my wife’s case I live with her and see what she does. All she has out is mascara.
> 
> I do like nails though, if she gets her nails done I love it but she almost never does this the claim is, “they chip”. Early on when I was dating her she’d sometimes have a French manicure.


Around Dallas a whole lot of women are wearing eyelashes now.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I had two lab partners in college who were just very, very beautiful inside. One, I thought was incredibly fun abd just liked the hell out of her abd had she even been reasonably attractive I’d have dated her. I wanted badly to be attracted to her. The other was the smartest girl I’ve ever met other than the ex fiancée and very well was smarter than her even. AND she was just a wonderful person in general. I had zero atttaction for her physically, and wished I did. 2 of only a handful of women I was actually friends with and that’s all.

I fully believe a great personality and goodness can bring a person from a 5 to a ten on one’s internal “rating” system. But if there’s not some attraction there to start off with, it doesn’t grow for me usually.

I know on my heart that God made me unattractive for a reason. I don’t complain about it. But I do feel some jealousy toward guys that have looks, athletics, brains.

Random babble over.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, that must be crushing, thinking you're going to see the person again and then having that said. How does that work anyway? I don't understand how you can have so much in common with someone and then zip...?


I can't really say how often I got this said to me, or how many, many times I said it to someone else. Lack of physical chemistry/attraction is usually decisive no matter how much you have in common.

As for rating systems, ALL eventually are reduced to a binary system: yes, or no. Less than a 6 is a 0 (no), 7 or greater is a 1 (yes) - all else being equal; 6 is indeterminate and should be avoided as unquantifiable.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> And I think that denying that some people are universally unattractive is just sticking your head in the sand in regards to reality. I know I can look at myself and figure I am about average. If I were to meet someone who called me a 4, I wouldn't get offended, it's probably close to the truth. That number just gives people a pretty good idea of how attractive/unattractive someone is for the purposes of conversation.


There are plenty of "universally appealing" people I don't find particularly attractive, and plenty of meh to others I do. According to you, other women think so too, or you wouldn't have an attractive gf. 



Enigma32 said:


> As a man especially, being unattractive can hold you back quite a bit but I have found that ladies will often be attracted to other qualities other than physical appearance. If you seem capable, are intelligent, and basically have your life in order, a lot of women will want you even if you are just average or a bit under. I'm basically an average looking guy but almost every female I meet ends up wanting to get with me eventually because I'm not a goon like most of these guys out there.


So... Men are responsible for incels not women, since women will give an unattractive man a chance, but the reverse is not true. 



Married but Happy said:


> I can't really say how often I got this said to me, or how many, many times I said it to someone else. Lack of physical chemistry/attraction is usually decisive no matter how much you have in common.
> 
> As for rating systems, ALL eventually are reduced to a binary system: yes, or no. Less than a 6 is a 0 (no), 7 or greater is a 1 (yes) - all else being equal; 6 is indeterminate and should be avoided as unquantifiable.


It doesn't make sense, because most people who want to couple up can , even some with subpar social skills. If all "5 and unders" were so universally unattractive, they'd all die single.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Lila said:


> Ladies of TAM, has a man that didn't find you physically attractive at first, later think you're beautiful based on your "inner beauty"?


When I read this question, I wondered how would one even know this? Unless someone outright tells you they weren't particularly physically attracted and that changed as they got to know you. Granted, as already mentioned here, mutual attraction and perceptions of 'beauty' are not necessarily one and the same. And I cannot relate to experiences of dating in current times; however, I'm jumping into the thread nonetheless with experiences whereby some form of judgement was made _before_ knowing what I look like.

I've previously shared how Batman and I met. Quick recap is that we spoke on the phone a couple of times before we met. Attraction was forming based on personality and voices/accents. No idea what one another looked like before meeting. And when we met, he didn't run the other way so I was off to a good start. Our first encounter ended up being unexpectedly brief, yet enough to be intrigued. The attraction kept building upon meeting again, and we started dating. As it happens I was/am his type, physically. And somehow he's put up with my personality and quirks to boot.

For kicks n giggles, sharing a work-related scenario from a while ago. Team required supplies urgently and I contacted our account manager to arrange. It was the first time I'd spoken with him. Within a flash, he was at our office with the supplies. Upon delivery, he asked to meet me. Well... he took one look at me and with dismay said, 'From your accent, I thought you'd look different...' I had to hold back the laughter, despite his unprofessional manner. I replied, 'Sorry to disappoint you.' He grunted and told me that he imagined me to look like a certain actress instead. 'Ah well, thanks for the supplies, bye!' The team commented they'd never received service that fast with him. I told them not to get used to it, as I didn't fit the image of his Hollywood crush.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> There are plenty of "universally appealing" people I don't find particularly attractive, and plenty of meh to others I do. According to you, other women think so too, or you wouldn't have an attractive gf.


Guys who look like Channing Tatum get paid millions to dance on screen with their shirt off in movies like Magic Mike because millions of women pay money to show up and watch them. Universally attractive. A few ladies on the internet who claim he isn't attractive doesn't really matter when he gets paid millions just for existing. Myself on the other hand, I had around 4 matches in 2 months on Tinder when I last tried it a few years ago. To somehow pretend he and I are on the same level of attractiveness is absurd.



> So... Men are responsible for incels not women, since women will give an unattractive man a chance, but the reverse is not true.


We are all responsible for our own fate. I would not blame men or women for incels, I blame the individual. Even if he is unattractive, there are steps he could take to become more attractive to women.

If a woman wants to be attractive in the USA in 2021, she can be. Where I live at least, the only thing a woman needs to do to be somewhat attractive is to stay in decent shape and not ruin her body. Meanwhile, I know of really big women who would instead rather just call men "sizist" for not wanting to date them.

While ladies seem to usually be more open to guys that aren't so physically attractive, that guy better have something else going for him to make up for it. That's why, and it was even said in this thread, when you see a rough looking guy with a hot GF, people will start to assume he is rich or has a huge d**k or something. Because most people know that a hot girl likely won't date an ugly guy otherwise.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Guys who look like Channing Tatum


Channing Tatum gets referenced quite a bit around here. To me, he would be classified as a good looking guy who doesn't stand out. I grew up surrounded by guys who looked just like Channing Tatum. In 6th grade, a student transferred in from Colorado and was Hispanic. I thought he was the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. He was the only Hispanic kid in school.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> I have observed that some women (ahem😳) are much prettier when they are not wearing their resting *** face.


Hey! I heard that.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

So...I am not the physical type to make someone turn around for a second look but when thrown into someone's path sometimes they might be interested upon closer inspection? I am reasonably intelligent if you don't count my bumping into things a lot, considerate, love my kids, love my job and generally try and be a positive person. Some men find that attractive. Previous partners talked about me being really attractive from the start but I think they probably were just being kind. A guy I dated mentioned repeatedly that I wasn't his usual physical type but that he was attracted to me (he liked African American women generally and I am not). So I dunno. Maybe, yes?


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"A guy I dated mentioned repeatedly that I wasn't his usual physical type"

He got to say it twice?


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> "A guy I dated mentioned repeatedly that I wasn't his usual physical type"
> 
> He got to say it twice?


He was someone I dated casually. But yeah, not a long-term prospect. He was attractive, intelligent and pretty good in bed, but had an unfortunate propensity to share things that would be best kept to oneself lol


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

joannacroc said:


> A guy I dated mentioned repeatedly that I wasn't his usual physical type but that he was attracted to me (he liked African American women generally and I am not).


I've not had this happen, but the common thing for me was having them bring up the younger girlfriend/wife. 😂


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The two above examples smack of 'player' to me. Of course, they were not very good at it.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> Guys who look like Channing Tatum get paid millions to dance on screen with their shirt off in movies like Magic Mike because millions of women pay money to show up and watch them. Universally attractive. A few ladies on the internet who claim he isn't attractive doesn't really matter when he gets paid millions just for existing. Myself on the other hand, I had around 4 matches in 2 months on Tinder when I last tried it a few years ago. To somehow pretend he and I are on the same level of attractiveness is absurd.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm with Blondilocks, face is important and I don't like Channing Tatum's face.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Isn't Channing Tatum (I had to google him...  ) a bit cross-eyed?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I cracked it, he is good looking apparently but not as good as The Rock and only 5% better than me, although my text was “pretty good” not “good”. Sad…


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rating seems more and more an "off" idea the more I think about it. I am not totally oblivious to the fact people look different and more or less physically attractive. There are far too many individual attractors to different people however, to have any kind of meaningful, universal rating system.

I can be blown away by characteristics that another man wouldn't even glance at twice.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive. I've seen the same thing on other forums too. Meanwhile, SOMEONE is going to see his movies or he wouldn't be getting paid millions to take off his shirt for movies like Magic Mike. I think it's just a thing ladies do. I don't think it matters which super attractive person I mention, all the women in the area will swear he's not attractive. I've done the same exact thing over the years with different male celebrities in different forums and it's always the same result. Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> I cracked it, he is good looking apparently but not as good as The Rock and only 5% better than me, although my text was “pretty good” not “good”. Sad…
> 
> View attachment 79391


prettyscale.com? Not surprised those girls are laughing at the bottom...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> I cracked it, he is good looking apparently but not as good as The Rock and only 5% better than me, although my text was “pretty good” not “good”. Sad…
> 
> View attachment 79391


Hey pretty boy! I had to check it out thanks to you!😆


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Hey pretty boy! I had to check it out thanks to you!😆


I just made a 3rd threadjack to add to the recursive TJ thread. 

I used a head shot from my work from a professional photographer and it didn’t help.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Enigma32 said:


> Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


He's attractive - like a barbie doll. 😬

Rugged men are very attractive, and I find darker haired men more attractive than blondes.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive.


Yeah it is weird.

I don’t think it’s uncommon for a man to say something like <celebrity> is hot but I have only heard a few women do it. Maybe they mostly keep it to themselves? 🤔


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

minimalME said:


> and I find darker haired men more attractive than blondes.


I'm dark haired and I like blondes...


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah it is weird.
> 
> I don’t think it’s uncommon for a man to say something like <celebrity> is hot but I have only heard a few women do it. Maybe they mostly keep it to themselves? 🤔


It's a little game I like to play and I've been doing it for years. In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room. Honestly, I call shenanigans on it but that's just one guy's opinion. I think it's all for show and maybe an ego boost for them to say they would never date (insert very attractive person here) because he just doesn't do it for them.

I've seen first hand what happens when guys like that walk into an actual room filled with women.


----------



## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Enigma32 said:


> It's a little game I like to play and I've been doing it for years. In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room. Honestly, I call shenanigans on it but that's just one guy's opinion. I think it's all for show and maybe an ego boost for them to say they would never date (insert very attractive person here) because he just doesn't do it for them.
> 
> I've seen first hand what happens when guys like that walk into an actual room filled with women.


I could post all day about how hot Tom Hardy is. Just saying.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Bluesclues said:


> I could post all day about how hot Tom Hardy is. Just saying.


Looked him up, I bet if I ran him through prettyscale he would do better than Channing Tatum.

Edit: He got 68% and the worse text.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Looked him up, I bet if I ran him through prettyscale he would do better than Channing Tatum.


I looked at that site. They want me to download some browser addon. No thanks. Pretty sure you are messin with some kind of malware there.


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I don't like baby faces. I have a crush on Gerard Butler. 

My husband took a picture of me giving a kiss to his advertising poster at an airport! 

I love my husband.


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

Channing Tatum, yuck! He has never caused even the slightest quiver in my loins.


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Yeah it is weird.
> 
> I don’t think it’s uncommon for a man to say something like <celebrity> is hot but I have only heard a few women do it. Maybe they mostly keep it to themselves? 🤔


Oops, I posted before I added my response.

I have about 100 celebrity male crushes and I’m not quiet about it at all. My husband could probably name every single one of them, as could some of my co-workers and closest friends and family. I don’t tend to like the super popular, stereotypically attractive male celebs that supposedly all woman are supposed to drool over though.

I don’t think I have a “type” physically when it comes to men either. I’d say all of my crushes are pretty varied in appearance, but my crushes are never based on appearance alone and have a lot to do with other factors.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> It's a little game I like to play and I've been doing it for years. In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room. Honestly, I call shenanigans on it but that's just one guy's opinion. *I think it's all for show and maybe an ego boost *for them to say they would never date (insert very attractive person here) because he just doesn't do it for them.
> 
> I've seen first hand what happens when guys like that walk into an actual room filled with women.


Well, I think you're full of crap. With all the assertions that women go for the bad-boy look, do you honestly think Channing has that quality? I think you, personally, are enchanted with him. You know what would help Channing? A scar somewhere on that face - something to make him look interesting. And better eyebrows. He just looks like vanilla pudding - bland.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I am so vain.

So I used that pretty scale to put in a couple of old license mug shots, of my wife (at 27) and I (at 26).



















And followed it up with a couple of very recent mugshots of us.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive.


I'm sorry but Channing Tatum really isn't particularly handsome.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LMAO I got a 45%


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Lila said:


> Men of TAM, have you ever met a woman who you initially found physically unattractive but later found them to be beautiful after getting to know them?


No I haven't.



> Ladies of TAM, has a man that didn't find you physically attractive at first, later think you're beautiful based on your "inner beauty"?


My wife said she hasn't experienced that.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive. I've seen the same thing on other forums too. Meanwhile, SOMEONE is going to see his movies or he wouldn't be getting paid millions to take off his shirt for movies like Magic Mike. I think it's just a thing ladies do. I don't think it matters which super attractive person I mention, all the women in the area will swear he's not attractive. I've done the same exact thing over the years with different male celebrities in different forums and it's always the same result. Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


When Aquaman came out, two of my lady cousins were going to the opening and it wasn't because they were DC fans.😉


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> LMAO I got a 45%


Were you wearing your loin cloth?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> It's a little game I like to play and I've been doing it for years. In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room. Honestly, I call shenanigans on it but that's just one guy's opinion. I think it's all for w and maybe an ego boost for them to say they would never date (insert very attractive person here) because he just doesn't do it for them.
> 
> I've seen first hand what happens when guys like that walk into an actual room filled with women.


It could just be a learned consideration for the men around them. I would rather attribute it to the good intentions and character of the women in a mixed group.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room.


If you ask my wife she has a long list of male celebrities, that she finds attractive and she isn't shy about it. Yet that Channing guy certainly isn't one of them.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> Were you wearing your loin cloth?


Nope! No zoom zens on app! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

I also think it’s a fallacy that most women go crazy over muscles. I think I know more women in real life who prefer just a nice, toned, physically fit male body opposed to a very muscley body.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cici1990 said:


> I also think it’s a fallacy that most women go crazy over muscles. I think I know more women in real life who prefer just a nice, toned, physically fit male body opposed to a very muscley body.


Now don't be knockin the beefcake lass!😁


----------



## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's how I see it. On another forum, and Enigma may remember this, there was an incel who was about a 2. He wouldn't even consider trying to date a woman who wasn't a solid 8-10 and this went on for like a year of people trying to reason with him, and I just think he wanted to prop himself up with a good looking woman more than anything. Prop up his self-confidence and ego and very important to show the world this woman.
> 
> Like it would rub off on him.


George Costanza


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Guys who look like Channing Tatum get paid millions to dance on screen with their shirt off in movies like Magic Mike because millions of women pay money to show up and watch them. Universally attractive. A few ladies on the internet who claim he isn't attractive doesn't really matter when he gets paid millions just for existing. Myself on the other hand, I had around 4 matches in 2 months on Tinder when I last tried it a few years ago. To somehow pretend he and I are on the same level of attractiveness is absurd.
> 
> We are all responsible for our own fate. I would not blame men or women for incels, I blame the individual. Even if he is unattractive, there are steps he could take to become more attractive to women.
> 
> ...


I've never watched Magic Mike. Never watched or read 50 shades of grey either, btw. Channing Tatums acting sucked in one movie I saw him in and I never found him attractive. Nothing seems to be going on behind those eyes. 

Tinder? 😆 Sorry, I associate Tinder with hookups only.



Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive. I've seen the same thing on other forums too. Meanwhile, SOMEONE is going to see his movies or he wouldn't be getting paid millions to take off his shirt for movies like Magic Mike. I think it's just a thing ladies do. I don't think it matters which super attractive person I mention, all the women in the area will swear he's not attractive. I've done the same exact thing over the years with different male celebrities in different forums and it's always the same result. Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


Maybe they went to see that guy from True Blood instead. Now he's something to look at! Reowr!.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Cici1990 said:


> I also think it’s a fallacy that most women go crazy over muscles. I think I know more women in real life who prefer just a nice, toned, physically fit male body opposed to a very muscley body.


I was surprised (and happy) my wife said The Rock looked good to her. I guess she goes by “If the biceps be poppin’ the panties be droppin’” once she said that I started doing extra curls, tris, and chin ups and doing heavier weight on the curls. It’s working.

The weird thing is she also likes nerdy little dweebs, I think she likes Dax Shepard.

Both of those guys are really funny maybe that is the common denominator.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Cici1990 said:


> I also think it’s a fallacy that most women go crazy over muscles. I think I know more women in real life who prefer just a nice, toned, physically fit male body opposed to a very muscley body.


Guess that counts me out LMAO


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Guess that counts me out LMAO


Who cares? You're cleaning up from the sounds of it!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Who cares? You're cleaning up from the sounds of it!


Always room for more! Hehe


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BTW we glossed over the 80+ scores up above but those are serious movie star level scores. There are some good looking people on this thread.

@Personal is an absolute unit.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Guess that counts me out LMAO


I know for a fact that some "guns" and shoulders are almost universally appreciated.

Now overdoing it has resulted in less attraction so just lay off the steroids and any man able to get his back, shoulders and arms a good size for his body size (math), will absolutely increase his attractiveness to most women.


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> I know for a fact that some "guns" and shoulders are almost universally appreciated.
> 
> Now overdoing it has resulted in less attraction so just lay off the steroids and any man able to get his back, shoulders and arms a good size for his body size (math), will absolutely increase his attractiveness to most women.


Toned arms with some nice muscle definition good. Large bulky biceps bad. Well, not to all women but to me and quite a few women I know. And what I think doesn’t really matter to anyone else, especially guys on TAM.

The Rock is way too muscley for me but he seems to have a really great personality so maybe if he was a real life guy who I met in person I could be swayed to accept the muscles. But he’s not somebody I look at and feel a great deal of physical attraction to.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> BTW we glossed over the 80+ scores up above but those are serious movie star level scores. There are some good looking people on this thread.
> 
> @Personal is an absolute unit.


You got me curious 🤔. Did it for funsies, recent pic...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cici1990 said:


> Toned arms with some nice muscle definition good. Large bulky biceps bad. Well, not to all women but to me and quite a few women I know. And what I think doesn’t really matter to anyone else, especially guys on TAM.
> 
> The Rock is way too muscley for me but he seems to have a really great personality so maybe if he was a real life guy who I met in person I could be swayed to accept the muscles. But he’s not somebody I look at and feel a great deal of physical attraction to.


Dwayne is an extreme even though he is attractive to many women.

I'm definitely speaking from experience and real studies.

A little well placed beef sparks at least an attraction from a strictly visual perspective. 


I know what you are talking about however, when you talk about a nicely toned man.

Aesthetically, there are some very beautifully shaped men who aren't beefy at all.

A certain thickness and impression of physical power conveys a very particular visceral response however.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> You got me curious 🤔. Did it for funsies, recent pic...


Pretty people hanging around here!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. I got a 46.😋


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Pretty people hanging around here!


Makes me wanna go hide in the barn! LOL


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

It gave my dog a 73 though, so I am not sure how accurate it is. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😍


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Dwayne is an extreme even though he is attractive to many women.
> 
> I'm definitely speaking from experience and real studies.
> 
> ...


My favorite guy is JFK Jr. so 🤷‍♀️


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cici1990 said:


> My favorite guy is JFK Jr. so 🤷‍♀️


Never heard of him.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cici1990 said:


> My favorite guy is JFK Jr. so 🤷‍♀️


Just looked him up. He is pretty!😉


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> It gave my dog a 73 though, so I am not sure how accurate it is. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😍


Maybe your dog is a real looker?

Incidentally I looked for “ugliest man” and ran that face through it, 55%. 🤔


----------



## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Never heard of him.


You never heard of John F. Kennedy Jr.?!?!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Maybe your dog is a real looker?
> 
> Incidentally I looked for “ugliest man” and ran that face through it, 55%. 🤔


Maybe that woman was right! 😥


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Cici1990 said:


> You never heard of John F. Kennedy Jr.?!?!


Who?


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Makes me wanna go hide in the barn! LOL


No way! Dude, looks, body is not worth **** without substance. 




Numb26 said:


> It gave my dog a 73 though, so I am not sure how accurate it is. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😍


I have to try that! My boy is gone, but he was better looking than most people!


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> There are plenty of "universally appealing" people I don't find particularly attractive, and plenty of meh to others I do. According to you, other women think so too, or you wouldn't have an attractive gf.
> 
> 
> So... Men are responsible for incels not women, since women will give an unattractive man a chance, but the reverse is not true.
> ...


Enigma knows I always tell people, if you really think you can't find a mate because you're not physically perfect, all you have to do is go to Walmart on a weekend and look around. All kinds of people find happiness and a mate.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I’m not going to tell him.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Guys who look like Channing Tatum get paid millions to dance on screen with their shirt off in movies like Magic Mike because millions of women pay money to show up and watch them. Universally attractive. A few ladies on the internet who claim he isn't attractive doesn't really matter when he gets paid millions just for existing. Myself on the other hand, I had around 4 matches in 2 months on Tinder when I last tried it a few years ago. To somehow pretend he and I are on the same level of attractiveness is absurd.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just realize that mainstream hunks aren't attractive to everyone. Channing Tatum does nothing for me. It's true that the more people have going for them to make them interesting, they more attractive and interesting they will be to others.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I cracked it, he is good looking apparently but not as good as The Rock and only 5% better than me, although my text was “pretty good” not “good”. Sad…
> 
> View attachment 79391


I'm not into blocky muscle guys. I like nice biceps on a more average frame, I guess, better.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive. I've seen the same thing on other forums too. Meanwhile, SOMEONE is going to see his movies or he wouldn't be getting paid millions to take off his shirt for movies like Magic Mike. I think it's just a thing ladies do. I don't think it matters which super attractive person I mention, all the women in the area will swear he's not attractive. I've done the same exact thing over the years with different male celebrities in different forums and it's always the same result. Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


I liked the movie, but it wasn't because of Channing Tatum. It was just funny.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just realize that mainstream hunks aren't attractive to everyone. Channing Tatum does nothing for me. It's true that the more people have going for them to make them interesting, they more attractive and interesting they will be to others.


Exactly! I have a thing for cute nerdy guys with a good sense of humor. But I like my men substantial, no skinny Minnie's. No good conversation = no attraction for me.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Well, I think you're full of crap. With all the assertions that women go for the bad-boy look, do you honestly think Channing has that quality? I think you, personally, are enchanted with him. You know what would help Channing? A scar somewhere on that face - something to make him look interesting. And better eyebrows. He just looks like vanilla pudding - bland.


Men always HOPE women mostly care about muscles, because muscles is something any man can get. A pretty face and height isn't.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> No way! Dude, looks, body is not worth **** without substance.
> 
> 
> 
> I have to try that! My boy is gone, but he was better looking than most people!


So true!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Men always HOPE women mostly care about muscles, because muscles is something any man can get. A pretty face and height isn't.


Not true. I'm a man and I could care less if a woman cares about my body. But come to find out most do. LOL


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Maybe your dog is a real looker?
> 
> Incidentally I looked for “ugliest man” and ran that face through it, 55%. 🤔


All I can tell you is I fall in love at first sight with nearly any dog, so take from that what you will.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Men always HOPE women mostly care about muscles, because muscles is something any man can get. A pretty face and height isn't.


This is true. If you lift enough you will get stronger and probably also bigger.

I never viewed height as a big deal but maybe it’s because I’m tall.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> This is true. If you lift enough you will get stronger and probably also bigger.
> 
> I never viewed height as a big deal but maybe it’s because I’m tall.


See, I may be reading too much into the post but it seems to me a bit shallow. Looks and height are things a man has absolutely NO control over but having a good, in shape body takes dedication, discipline and time. Those things that should attract a woman more. Am I wrong?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> See, I may be reading too much into the post but it seems to me a bit shallow. Looks and height are things a man has absolutely NO control over but having a good, in shape body takes dedication, discipline and time. Those things that should attract a woman more. Am I wrong?


That's what men wish. But for a woman to whom height is a dealbreaker, doesn't sway her if someone short has muscles, but that said, it can't hurt. I mean, it's always good to improve yourself. Just know that a lot of women just like moderately muscled guys who look in proportion, not too thick, not too thin. I didn't let height put me off if the guy had a lot going for him otherwise. But I will confess there probably was a height below which I would just have not been interested, but it's lower than most women's cutoff. Most guys don't ever bulk up to the point it becomes offputting, but it is a mistake to think all women like the real bulky guys, because they do have their fans, but it's not nearly most women. No one in my crowd liked that.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

ccpowerslave said:


> I never viewed height as a big deal but maybe it’s because I’m tall.


I'm 5'3" and I've also never viewed height as a big deal. Probably because I've never lacked pretty female partners and I've always been laid like tile. Plus I seldom have to duck for low branches.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's what men wish. But for a woman to whom height is a dealbreaker, doesn't sway her if someone short has muscles, but that said, it can't hurt. I mean, it's always good to improve yourself. Just know that a lot of women just like moderately muscled guys who look in proportion, not too thick, not too thin. I didn't let height put me off if the guy had a lot going for him otherwise. But I will confess there probably was a height below which I would just have not been interested, but it's lower than most women's cutoff. Most guys don't ever bulk up to the point it becomes offputting, but it is a mistake to think all women like the real bulky guys, because they do have their fans, but it's not nearly most women. No one in my crowd liked that.


I'm 6'4" 1/2 and 260, I am off-putting to most people. LOL And no, not all women like it but it seems like all women do want to touch.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> See, I may be reading too much into the post but it seems to me a bit shallow. Looks and height are things a man has absolutely NO control over but having a good, in shape body takes dedication, discipline and time. Those things that should attract a woman more. Am I wrong?


Honestly, I shy away from men in really great shape, bc I can't match that anymore. Most people can look pleasant with minor tweaks (grooming, clothes), it's all about effort, really.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Honestly, I shy away from men in really great shape, bc I can't match that anymore. Most people can look pleasant with minor tweaks (grooming, clothes), it's all about effort, really.


I did it to lose a sh*t ton off weight and feel better about myself after the separation and D. So I did it for me not to attract women, though it does help counteract my face.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I'm 6'4" 1/2 and 260, I am off-putting to most people. LOL And no, not all women like it but it seems like all women do want to touch.


I don't know why you'd be offputting! Sounds fine to me.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't know why you'd be offputting! Sounds fine to me.


A lot of people look sideways at powerlifters.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I'm 6'4" 1/2 and 260, I am off-putting to most people. LOL And no, not all women like it but it seems like all women do want to touch.


My exes range from 5ft4 to 6ft2, my bf is 5'10. I'm 5ft2, height was never an issue, I just never cared for skinny. Maybe it's the protectiveness factor.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Honestly, I shy away from men in really great shape, bc I can't match that anymore. Most people can look pleasant with minor tweaks (grooming, clothes), it's all about effort, really.


I've always been more about the style and hair. I loved one guy other people sometimes made fun of because he was so soft and called him behind his back the Pillsbury Dough Boy. He had zero muscles, and yeah, I wasn't nuts about that, but I loved his style, his hair, his skin, and his charm and talent.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I did it to lose a sh*t ton off weight and feel better about myself after the separation and D. So I did it for me not to attract women, though it does help counteract my face.


A picture is two dimensional, it certainly doesn't foretell attractiveness. Have you ever seen people's eyes light up when they're happy or passionate about something? Attraction is about the "it" factor of someone's personality.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Cici1990 said:


> My favorite guy is JFK Jr. so 🤷‍♀️


Little John-John who was as dumb as a box of rocks? You can step off, now.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's what men wish. But for a woman to whom height is a dealbreaker, doesn't sway her if someone short has muscles, but that said, it can't hurt. I mean, it's always good to improve yourself. Just know that a lot of women just like moderately muscled guys who look in proportion, not too thick, not too thin. I didn't let height put me off if the guy had a lot going for him otherwise. But I will confess there probably was a height below which I would just have not been interested, but it's lower than most women's cutoff. Most guys don't ever bulk up to the point it becomes offputting, but it is a mistake to think all women like the real bulky guys, because they do have their fans, but it's not nearly most women. No one in my crowd liked that.


At 5'4 I could care less about height (my SO is 5'10) but I do love me some non-steroid, musclely men. 🥰


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Little John-John who was as dumb as a box of rocks? You can step off, now.


Some people are just for looking at 😆.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There's a local guy here I've just been only acquaintances with who I find not at all attractive. He has a kind of squished face, bad hair, medium low height and nothing particularly stylish. But he has LOADS of just charm. And he has never had a problem getting women. He is also a moderately well known local artist, so that brings him into contact with people and makes him special.


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## Cici1990 (Feb 22, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Little John-John who was as dumb as a box of rocks? You can step off, now.


Yeah, failed the bar exam twice. Probably only passed the 3rd time because Jackie paid someone off. Got himself killed because he was too arrogant and thought he could fly his plane at night by himself even though he was fully trained. It’s all quite endearing to me, especially when you look like that.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> See, I may be reading too much into the post but it seems to me a bit shallow. Looks and height are things a man has absolutely NO control over but having a good, in shape body takes dedication, discipline and time. Those things that should attract a woman more. Am I wrong?


You're not wrong, but some women would even be put off with the amount of time spent at the gym, tbh.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> See, I may be reading too much into the post but it seems to me a bit shallow. Looks and height are things a man has absolutely NO control over but having a good, in shape body takes dedication, discipline and time. Those things that should attract a woman more. Am I wrong?


Any discussions about attractiveness always end up in the shallow end of the kiddie pool. Just how these things go. And this might make me sound like the bad guy again but I don't care. I put ZERO stock in what ladies say they find attractive. The best way to see what ladies actually find attractive is to spend some time around the guys that do really well with women. 

With that said, I think that the qualities that allow a man to go to the gym every day and sculpt his body to look the way he wants are going to be the same qualities that help him do well with women. That along with a healthy amount of not giving a damn what people think. If you are a strong willed, dedicated, and capable guy, women will most likely find you attractive. The gym bros I know of get ladies like crazy despite ditching their women to hit the gym as often as not. 

It depends on what you wanna do, man. I have a cousin that has a very low opinion of women and all he does is blow smoke up their butt and prop up their ego all day while he flashes his nice smile and women always flocked to him despite him being a known womanizer at this point. So many paths to success but being exceptional in some way is usually the ticket.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Double post. Delete.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> With that said, I think that the qualities that allow a man to go to the gym every day and sculpt his body to look the way he wants are going to be the same qualities that help him do well with women. That along with a healthy amount of not giving a damn what people think. If you are a strong willed, dedicated, and capable guy, women will most likely find you attractive. The gym bros I know of get ladies like crazy despite ditching their women to hit the gym as often as not.


This is me in a nutshell!


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I know for a fact that some "guns" and shoulders are almost universally appreciated.
> 
> Now overdoing it has resulted in less attraction so just lay off the steroids and any man able to get his back, shoulders and arms a good size for his body size (math), will absolutely increase his attractiveness to most women.


I think this is why I do my "man hunting" predominantly in warmer weather. I want to see the legs. No leg-day skippers for me. 😂😂


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> I always found it funny how whenever some male celebrity gets brought up, all the ladies find him unattractive. I've seen the same thing on other forums too. Meanwhile, SOMEONE is going to see his movies or he wouldn't be getting paid millions to take off his shirt for movies like Magic Mike. I think it's just a thing ladies do. I don't think it matters which super attractive person I mention, all the women in the area will swear he's not attractive. I've done the same exact thing over the years with different male celebrities in different forums and it's always the same result. Man, no wonder regular guys can't get dates anymore when regular ladies don't even find celebrities and male models attractive


This is probably because the only women who choose to respond really do NOT think they are attractive, not because of some conspiracy to hide who we think are attractive from you...!!

I think Channing Tatum looks cute, sure...but he isn't MY definition of "hot" or attractive as a MAN. I never saw the movie, but I've seen him in other stuff. He's too young to be attractive to ME, and to have what draws me physically to a man...and Hint: it's NOT all physical.

Now, if you mentioned Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, or any number of sexy celebrity men in their 50s and UP, I wouldn't try to hide how attractive they are to me!!!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> This is me in a nutshell!


Get yourself where the women are then, bro. I just left the gym with a buddy of mine and a female friend and the only other woman in the gym kept finding excuses to walk by me so much that my female friend kinda gave me that look because she thought it was funny. Get in the gym, move some iron around, and be personable and you'll likely run into a few women who make their attraction known. No matter your age, I usually tell guys to go back to college because that's where you find a lot of women. It worked for me in my mid 30's.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> This is probably because the only women who choose to respond really do NOT think they are attractive, not because of some conspiracy to hide who we think are attractive from you...!!
> 
> I think Channing Tatum looks cute, sure...but he isn't MY definition of "hot" or attractive as a MAN. I never saw the movie, but I've seen him in other stuff. He's too young to be attractive to ME, and to have what draws me physically to a man...and Hint: it's NOT all physical.
> 
> Now, if you mentioned Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, or any number of sexy celebrity men in their 50s and UP, I wouldn't try to hide how attractive they are to me!!!


You had me at Keanu!


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The Magic Mike movie has at least 4 other men who are more interesting looking than Channing.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Any discussions about attractiveness always end up in the shallow end of the kiddie pool. Just how these things go. And this might make me sound like the bad guy again but I don't care. I put ZERO stock in what ladies say they find attractive. The best way to see what ladies actually find attractive is to spend some time around the guys that do really well with women.
> 
> With that said, I think that the qualities that allow a man to go to the gym every day and sculpt his body to look the way he wants are going to be the same qualities that help him do well with women. That along with a healthy amount of not giving a damn what people think. If you are a strong willed, dedicated, and capable guy, women will most likely find you attractive. The gym bros I know of get ladies like crazy despite ditching their women to hit the gym as often as not.
> 
> It depends on what you wanna do, man. I have a cousin that has a very low opinion of women and all he does is blow smoke up their butt and prop up their ego all day while he flashes his nice smile and women always flocked to him despite him being a known womanizer at this point. So many paths to success but being exceptional in some way is usually the ticket.


Sounds like confidence, in a nutshell, and that is the most important feature, I think.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Lila said:


> I think this is why I do my "man hunting" predominantly in warmer weather. I want to see the legs. No leg-day skippers for me. 😂😂


"takes off his sweats" Time for squats!!!!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> This is probably because the only women who choose to respond really do NOT think they are attractive, not because of some conspiracy to hide who we think are attractive from you...!!


Maybe so. Stranger things have happened. I just always found that to be a curious observation. I've used different celebrities over the years and everyone swears they aren't attractive but then offer up other people they think are attractive. Not one person comes out and admits they are into the guy. It's just funny to me that 10/10 women responding report 0 attraction to some famous guy who gets paid for no other reason than he is attractive. Someone has to like him or else he wouldn't be cashing all those movie checks. I've been doing this same thing for around 20 years back when Brad Pitt was the top guy in town.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Get yourself where the women are then, bro. I just left the gym with a buddy of mine and a female friend and the only other woman in the gym kept finding excuses to walk by me so much that my female friend kinda gave me that look because she thought it was funny. Get in the gym, move some iron around, and be personable and you'll likely run into a few women who make their attraction known. No matter your age, I usually tell guys to go back to college because that's where you find a lot of women. It worked for me in my mid 30's.


You don't know my background, do you?


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> You don't know my background, do you?


Nah. I barely know my own background at this point.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> "takes off his sweats" Time for squats!!!!


Yeah! We like nice buns too 😋


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lila said:


> I think this is why I do my "man hunting" predominantly in warmer weather. I want to see the legs. No leg-day skippers for me. 😂😂


Legs are definitely a thing, but I like them best in jeans, leather, or in a perfect world, chaps. Last time a guy's legs made me look up was a couple years ago. I was at a restaurant eating with my head down and all of a sudden here came this walk into my vision, and I'm only seeing him from the waist down. It was one of those confident "good attitude" walks, and there were jeans and cowboy boots involved. I raised my head and he saw me double-taking. I kept running into him there and we always smiled and nodded. (I was old enough to be his mother). He didn't have a great face, but his walk and legs made up for it. He had that rodeo cowboy swagger going on that only rockstars also sometimes have.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Nah. I barely know my own background at this point.


I have a weight room/gym built at the ranch and am in it everyday. I compete in Strongman competitions.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Sounds like confidence, in a nutshell, and that is the most important feature, I think.


I'd say aloofness is better and probably easier to achieve. It's really hard to be confident without a history of success.I always noticed that the less I cared, the more attracted ladies seemed to be. Now that I REALLY don't care, women coming out of the woodwork after me. I just had an exceptionally attractive female tell me that if things don't work out with my GF, that I can go date her.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Yeah! We like nice buns too 😋


Beefcake!!!!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I have a weight room/gym built at the ranch and am in it everyday. I compete in Strongman competitions.


Nice! I'd take that over to some local gyms and meet ladies that way. I bet they would come at you asking for workout tips.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Brad Pitt lol. Yeah, the studios tried telling women that Troy Donahue was the be all and end all. 😂


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Nice! I'd take that over to some local gyms and meet ladies that way. I bet they would come at you asking for workout tips.


When I did go to the local gym I was still 300lbs+ so you know much of a gym pariah I was at that point. LOL


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> This is probably because the only women who choose to respond really do NOT think they are attractive, not because of some conspiracy to hide who we think are attractive from you...!!
> 
> I think Channing Tatum looks cute, sure...but he isn't MY definition of "hot" or attractive as a MAN. I never saw the movie, but I've seen him in other stuff. He's too young to be attractive to ME, and to have what draws me physically to a man...and Hint: it's NOT all physical.
> 
> Now, if you mentioned Russell Crowe, Keanu Reeves, or any number of sexy celebrity men in their 50s and UP, I wouldn't try to hide how attractive they are to me!!!


Lisa Diane is correct, Dear Enigma. Not every woman thinks all celebs are hot. What I think is hot in celebs (old out of date celebs of course) is Dennis Weaver on Gunsmoke as Chester, Pierce Brosnan without facial hair, Chris Hemsworth in Rush movie (now he's pretty mainstream), and Johnny Depp, who is closer to the type of hot I used to like in real life in my dating days. Hemsworth has bulked up a lot since that movie, though. But a really nice face, needless to say.


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> I do like nails though, if she gets her nails done I love it but she almost never does this the claim is, “they chip”. Early on when I was dating her she’d sometimes have a French manicure.


Dip Powder manicure ... my daughter gets this type of nail service, it lasts 3 to 4 weeks on her without chipping and, she plays volleyball and basketball several times per week.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> Brad Pitt lol. Yeah, the studios tried telling women that Troy Donahue was the be all and end all. 😂


See too me he is a "pretty boy".


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> I have a weight room/gym built at the ranch and am in it everyday. I compete in Strongman competitions.


Brains and brawn all in one, Numb! Commendable!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Brains and brawn all in one, Numb! Commendable!


Just missing looks. LOL


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Brad Pitt lol. Yeah, the studios tried telling women that Troy Donahue was the be all and end all. 😂


Back then, Richard Chamberlain was all attractive to me, but eventually I kind of lost interest in most blonds. But then one came along to be the exception for 10 years, and he was a thinning blond by the end of that time, but I love him always.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> See too me he is a "pretty boy".


Well, the first time anyone saw Pitt, they saw his naked butt so it had quite an impact on the ladies at the time.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> "takes off his sweats" Time for squats!!!!


😂😂 You don't have to tell me twice. 

Here's my rule of thumb for legs. If they are wearing skinny jeans it's a no.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> See too me he is a "pretty boy".


At 17 years of age, when I stepped off the bus at Kappoka, to begin my Regular Army Recruit Course. I was immediately singled out by the instructors as a pretty boy.

And they were so nice to us, until we got off the bus.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I'd say aloofness is better and probably easier to achieve. It's really hard to be confident without a history of success.I always noticed that the less I cared, the more attracted ladies seemed to be. Now that I REALLY don't care, women coming out of the woodwork after me. I just had an exceptionally attractive female tell me that if things don't work out with my GF, that I can go date her.


It reads as undesperate, not going to be a clinger/stalker, and confident. I fell hard for aloof. The guy I refer to as my "old flame" was very aloof, but once I cracked his shell, he never stopped telling me his stories too compromising to tell other people.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lila said:


> 😂😂 You don't have to tell me twice.
> 
> Here's my rule of thumb for legs. If they are wearing skinny jeans it's a no.


Leaves more for me!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Lila said:


> 😂😂 You don't have to tell me twice.
> 
> Here's my rule of thumb for legs. If they are wearing skinny jeans it's a no.


I don't fit into skinny jeans. Besides, they don't really work on a horse


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Just missing looks. LOL


You only need one right one.


----------



## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> I don't fit into skinny jeans. Besides, they don't really work on a horse


Omg I'm dying of laughter imaging skinny jeans on a cowboy. 😂😂😂

My SO can't wear them either. He tried on a pair at the store. I was ROTFL. They looked like ballet tights for men.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Legs are definitely a thing, but I like them best in jeans, leather, or in a perfect world, chaps. Last time a guy's legs made me look up was a couple years ago. I was at a restaurant eating with my head down and all of a sudden here came this walk into my vision, and I'm only seeing him from the waist down. It was one of those confident "good attitude" walks, and there were jeans and cowboy boots involved. I raised my head and he saw me double-taking. I kept running into him there and we always smiled and nodded. (I was old enough to be his mother). He didn't have a great face, but his walk and legs made up for it. He had that rodeo cowboy swagger going on that only rockstars also sometimes have.


I'd definitely look twice! 


DownByTheRiver said:


> Lisa Diane is correct, Dear Enigma. Not every woman thinks all celebs are hot. What I think is hot in celebs (old out of date celebs of course) is Dennis Weaver on Gunsmoke as Chester, Pierce Brosnan without facial hair, Chris Hemsworth in Rush movie (now he's pretty mainstream), and Johnny Depp, who is closer to the type of hot I used to like in real life in my dating days. Hemsworth has bulked up a lot since that movie, though. But a really nice face, needless to say.


Sounds like we appreciate the same kind of man cand. I love Pierce Brosnan! Especially since he doesn't seem like a womanizer. Chris and his brothers are eye candy too, though his brother seems kinda "eh". A non-traditional guy I've always found interesting looking is a younger Jeff Goldblum, he looks like he's got a wicked sense of humor.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> See too me he is a "pretty boy".


Wh, he has his moments, but I think he looks like a pretty monkey. 

Flame on...


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Lila said:


> Omg I'm dying of laughter imaging skinny jeans on a cowboy. 😂😂😂
> 
> My SO can't wear them either. He tried on a pair at the store. I was ROTFL. They looked like ballet tights for men.


Some things you just don't find here in my little slice of heaven


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well, the first time anyone saw Pitt, they saw his naked butt so it had quite an impact on the ladies at the time.


Yeah, his naked butt was visible for about a nano second. lol He was terribly miscast with Geena Davis.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It reads as undesperate, not going to be a clinger/stalker, and confident. I fell hard for aloof. The guy I refer to as my "old flame" was very aloof, but once I cracked his shell, he never stopped telling me his stories too compromising to tell other people.


It seems counterproductive to me. If a guy cares about you, like really cares, it's kinda tough to be confident or aloof. That's the guy who might get nervous or say the wrong thing sometimes. I've been there myself. Now that I am openly out of the dating game, more and more ladies have been sniffing around. I tell anyone who will listen that even if I was somehow single tomorrow, I still wouldn't date anyone. I consider myself retired from the game. The people who know me, know I'm stubborn and if I say something, they can bet on that being the truth. They still come around though.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Yeah, his naked butt was visible for about a nano second. lol He was terribly miscast with Geena Davis.


Thelma and Louis? At the time of filming, Geena Davis said she was too nervous for the love scene/kiss and was apprehensive about filming it. Then she saw Brad Pitt for the first time and said she was 100% on board. She talks about that in an interview I caught years ago.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Lila said:


> Omg I'm dying of laughter imaging skinny jeans on a cowboy. 😂😂😂
> 
> My SO can't wear them either. He tried on a pair at the store. I was ROTFL. They looked like ballet tights for men.


I think those look absolutely ridiculous on grown men, I picture scrawny hipsters with man buns wearing those. Yuck!


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Now overdoing it has resulted in less attraction so just lay off the steroids and any man able to get his back, shoulders and arms a good size for his body size (math), will absolutely increase his attractiveness to most women.


I had a guy at the gym staring with fascination at my back/shoulders while I was doing pull-ups, does that count? Oh wait, I'm a girl ... never mind.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I think those look absolutely ridiculous on grown men, I picture scrawny hipsters with man buns wearing those. Yuck!


We call those something else 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> We call those something else 🤣🤣🤣🤣


What?!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> It seems counterproductive to me. If a guy cares about you, like really cares, it's kinda tough to be confident or aloof. That's the guy who might get nervous or say the wrong thing sometimes. I've been there myself. Now that I am openly out of the dating game, more and more ladies have been sniffing around. I tell anyone who will listen that even if I was somehow single tomorrow, I still wouldn't date anyone. I consider myself retired from the game. The people who know me, know I'm stubborn and if I say something, they can bet on that being the truth. They still come around though.


Oh, I'm attracted to aloofness at the onset. Like before I even meet the guy, usually. After knowing him briefly, that guy started a habit of coming up to me in clubs and making a scene, whether either of us were with other people, by hand-kissing and getting up in my face. He was unusual. Nobody like him. Exceptionally good looking and women all over him to the point of sometimes being a nuisance, but he did love women.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> I think those look absolutely ridiculous on grown men, I picture scrawny hipsters with man buns wearing those. Yuck!


It depends on how anyone is built whether they can wear them. I'll agree most cannot.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It depends on how anyone is built whether they can wear them. I'll agree most cannot.


Eh, I don't need to see all their goodies, a little mystery is a good thing. Grey sweatpants though...


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Eh, I don't need to see all their goodies, a little mystery is a good thing. Grey sweatpants though...


They don't have to be tight up top. Maybe that was the critical error that turned you off them.

Sweat pants of any type on anybody, no.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Sweat pants of any type on anybody, no.


Just had to hate on my every day winter-wear!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Lila said:


> 😂😂 You don't have to tell me twice.
> 
> Here's my rule of thumb for legs. If they are wearing skinny jeans it's a no.


I buy relaxed fit. I am wearing them now but they cut them so low. I have on 35” inseam now and if I wasn’t wearing this long UNTUCKit shirt I feel like my pubes would be hanging out that’s how low they cut everything. Give me some old man pants I can pull up!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> I had a guy at the gym staring with fascination at my back/shoulders while I was doing pull-ups, does that count? Oh wait, I'm a girl ... never mind.


I won't speak for others but I'm very "distracted" by a lady with a well developed back and shoulders.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I think I am the male equivalent of this hypothetical. 

I have always been average (maybe 5 or 6 if using 'the scale'). But I can't count how many times I have heard something to the effect of "How did I miss you?" from females a scant hour or two before they dropped their panties. 

This transition was generally preceded by nothing more than a little bit of one-on-one conversation.

Conversely, there have been several ladies in my past who I initially thought of as plain or average, yet after some conversation, my attraction would spike for them. 

Can this go from unattractive to hot? No. But from average or plain to hot? Yessir. And it happens a lot...at least for my tastes. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

One woman I knew went from average to nuclear when she rolled up in her jeep after just getting done practicing taking people out with throat punches.😉


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> You had me at Keanu!


RIGHT??? Jonny Utah???? Hold me back...!!!!!!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Maybe so. Stranger things have happened. I just always found that to be a curious observation. I've used different celebrities over the years and everyone swears they aren't attractive but then offer up other people they think are attractive. Not one person comes out and admits they are into the guy. It's just funny to me that 10/10 women responding report 0 attraction to some famous guy who gets paid for no other reason than he is attractive. Someone has to like him or else he wouldn't be cashing all those movie checks. I've been doing this same thing for around 20 years back when Brad Pitt was the top guy in town.


I've never found Brad Pitt sexy. Again, I can look at him objectively and say, he's good-looking. But "must-have hot"...not to ME.

Why don't you go to the lines to some of these movies that these guys star in, and ask the women waiting to see the movie -- THEY will gladly admit to drooling over them. 

Now those feelings are straight off of physical looks. It's entirely possible that I could have a conversation with Brad Pitt and find him funny and interesting, and then his benign attractiveness (to me) would change into desire. But that is possible for almost ANY guy. 

Like Russell Crowe -- he was GORGEOUS in Gladiator. However, he has put on alot of weight since then...but when I watch an interview with him, I still think, "holy crap, he is SO yummy!!!"...there is just something about HIM that is sexy to ME, that transcends his looks for me. And it makes me see everything physically about him as attractive -- I don't think, "he's gross-looking but I'd still do him", I think, "wow, he's HOT!!!"

And I'm sure there are lots of guys in my real life who will have the same effect on me. It's not only about what's physical.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Any discussions about attractiveness always end up in the shallow end of the kiddie pool. Just how these things go. And this might make me sound like the bad guy again but I don't care. I put ZERO stock in what ladies say they find attractive. *The best way to see what ladies actually find attractive is to spend some time around the guys that do really well with women.*


As long as you know that there is a whole sub-set of women who those guys are NOT doing well with. They get SOME of the women, not all of them.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> As long as you know that there is a whole sub-set of women who those guys are NOT doing well with. They get SOME of the women, not all of them.


I am too picky so I would rather not have ALL the women just SOME of them


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> As long as you know that there is a whole sub-set of women who those guys are NOT doing well with. They get SOME of the women, not all of them.


No one gets all of the women. Heck, not one person here is attracted to a movie star like Channing Tatum so a regular looking guy is gonna be out of luck for sure. Like when I was a younger man, I used to rock that heavy metal guy look with the long hair and the music t shirts. I remember reading an article back in those days about how only 1/10 women found long hair attractive on a man. That was probably true! However, I also noticed that the 1/10 ladies into long haired guys were REALLY into me. So maybe if I hit the bar one night to hear a live band, most of the ladies in the bar wouldn't look twice at me but the ones I did were all over me without any effort. Gotta find your niche.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> No one gets all of the women. Heck, not one person here is attracted to a movie star like Channing Tatum so a regular looking guy is gonna be out of luck for sure. Like when I was a younger man, I used to rock that heavy metal guy look with the long hair and the music t shirts. I remember reading an article back in those days about how only 1/10 women found long hair attractive on a man. That was probably true! However, I also noticed that the 1/10 ladies into long haired guys were REALLY into me. So maybe if I hit the bar one night to hear a live band, most of the ladies in the bar wouldn't look twice at me but the ones I did were all over me without any effort. Gotta find your niche.


You know our significant others are regular guys, right? Cause we're regular women...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> You know our significant others are regular guys, right? Cause we're regular women...


Nope. Movie stars!


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> You know our significant others are regular guys, right? Cause we're regular women...


Just busting your chops a little


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Lila said:


> This would make a great thread too.
> 
> "What facial expressions say about you".


Ah the beauty of resting wotsit face. And which is enough to scare myself when recording a video presentation (that alone is cringe-worthy at the best of times). I attempted to redo it to add more softened facial expressions.  Then my passport photo... resting face plus awkward. As it was bad, who else to share it with but one's sibling. My brother appropriately responded, 'What's up with the cult-leader eyes?' then took a photo of himself that mimicked my expression, which overall was not too dissimilar to this > . I couldn't stop laughing.

As an aside, and slight thread jack to your thread jack of a thread jack, here is a moment that stuck with me that is unrelated to men's perceptions. The friend of a woman living with vision impairment was describing my appearance to her and relayed that I was beautiful. In response, the woman cupped my face in her hands, and said, 'I don't need to be able to see to know how beautiful you are...' and then spoke of character traits instead. I'm not one who easily cries, but she had me welling up in that moment. Aside from the compliment itself, and which was unrelated to physical appearance, it's that it was coming from her. Grace is a quality that I highly admire in others, and she consistently and effortlessly radiated grace in how she conducted herself and in her consideration to others.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> I am too picky so I would rather not have ALL the women just SOME of them


That wasn't really the point I was making by pointing that out...but since that's what you want, I'm happy for you and I'm sure you will be successful.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> No one gets all of the women. Heck, not one person here is attracted to a movie star like Channing Tatum so a regular looking guy is gonna be out of luck for sure. Like when I was a younger man, I used to rock that heavy metal guy look with the long hair and the music t shirts. I remember reading an article back in those days about how only 1/10 women found long hair attractive on a man. That was probably true! However, I also noticed that the 1/10 ladies into long haired guys were REALLY into me. So maybe if I hit the bar one night to hear a live band, most of the ladies in the bar wouldn't look twice at me but the ones I did were all over me without any effort. Gotta find your niche.


Sure, find your niche! But you also need to decide which type of woman you want to spend your time and effort on. If you only want a quick thrill (and ONS), it's a great idea to pick the women in a bar who go hang all over and flirt with every guy there with long hair...or in the gym, those who fondle every guy who has muscles like you do...etc etc.

If that is what you want, GREAT!! They are easy to spot and attract. But then do you feel like YOU are special to all of them? Or are you just the newest guy who showed up that caught their attention? And do you expect women like that not to be "hypergamous", or attention seekers, or gold-diggers, etc etc?? Do you really think the women who act like that value YOU as a special person?

Because if you are only interested in spending your time with women who are easy and inconsistent and shallow with their fawning and attention, while ignoring the women who are looking for a real connection with a guy who doesn't have 10 squealing chicks hanging off of him, then you just need to keep your expectations LOW for long-term success with such superficial choices.

If you don't care about long-term with any of them, I think that's a perfect plan!! (Really, I mean it!)


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> The Magic Mike movie has at least 4 other men who are more interesting looking than Channing.


Blondilocks,
You actually watched magic Mike?
Oh I’m disappointed in you.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> Blondilocks,
> You actually watched magic Mike?
> Oh I’m disappointed in you.


I was tempted to see what all the hype was about but I'm not into Tatum either.😉


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> No one gets all of the women. Heck, not one person here is attracted to a movie star like Channing Tatum so a regular looking guy is gonna be out of luck for sure. Like when I was a younger man, I used to rock that heavy metal guy look with the long hair and the music t shirts. I remember reading an article back in those days about how only 1/10 women found long hair attractive on a man. That was probably true! However, I also noticed that the 1/10 ladies into long haired guys were REALLY into me. So maybe if I hit the bar one night to hear a live band, most of the ladies in the bar wouldn't look twice at me but the ones I did were all over me without any effort. Gotta find your niche.


That's right. It's about finding your niche. If a person finds their niche they will be way more successful than if they don't have a niche or can't find it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Sure, find your niche! But you also need to decide which type of woman you want to spend your time and effort on. If you only want a quick thrill (and ONS), it's a great idea to pick the women in a bar who go hang all over and flirt with every guy there with long hair...or in the gym, those who fondle every guy who has muscles like you do...etc etc.
> 
> If that is what you want, GREAT!! They are easy to spot and attract. But then do you feel like YOU are special to all of them? Or are you just the newest guy who showed up that caught their attention? And do you expect women like that not to be "hypergamous", or attention seekers, or gold-diggers, etc etc?? Do you really think the women who act like that value YOU as a special person?
> 
> ...


Finding your niche is more than just what length your hair is. That's only a symbol. It means you have some interests in common and it is very important to find your niche if you have one. You will have a lot more opportunity for bonding. Because it often creates kind of an automatic Bond.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm not sure I have a niche???


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> Blondilocks,
> You actually watched magic Mike?
> Oh I’m disappointed in you.


No, I just looked up the cast. Did see Channing in White House Down.

When much younger, I did go to a Chippendale's Review. Meh.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I keep seeing these references to Channing Tatum and his role in Magic Mike. 

I think he has a really nice body but the allure of Magic Mike wasn't how Channing Tatum looked, but how he MOVED. Dang..'nuff said. I can't hear that song Pony and not immediately flashback to Tatum's dance on his work table. 🔥🔥🔥


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Sure, find your niche! But you also need to decide which type of woman you want to spend your time and effort on. If you only want a quick thrill (and ONS), it's a great idea to pick the women in a bar who go hang all over and flirt with every guy there with long hair...or in the gym, those who fondle every guy who has muscles like you do...etc etc.
> 
> If that is what you want, GREAT!! They are easy to spot and attract. But then do you feel like YOU are special to all of them? Or are you just the newest guy who showed up that caught their attention? And do you expect women like that not to be "hypergamous", or attention seekers, or gold-diggers, etc etc?? Do you really think the women who act like that value YOU as a special person?
> 
> ...


I disagree with the assumption that every female who has been to a bar or goes to the gym is not LTR material. With the gym especially, all of the very best women I know personally can be found in the gym at least a couple days a week. I go to a smaller local gym and it's really easy to make connections with decent people in a place like that.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> I disagree with the assumption that every female who has been to a bar or goes to the gym is not LTR material. With the gym especially, all of the very best women I know personally can be found in the gym at least a couple days a week. I go to a smaller local gym and it's really easy to make connections with decent people in a place like that.


I think you missed the caveat:


LisaDiane said:


> or in the gym, *those who fondle every guy who has muscles* like you do...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> Sure, find your niche! But you also need to decide which type of woman you want to spend your time and effort on. If you only want a quick thrill (and ONS), it's a great idea to pick the women in a bar who go hang all over and flirt with every guy there with long hair...or in the gym, those who fondle every guy who has muscles like you do...etc etc.
> 
> If that is what you want, GREAT!! They are easy to spot and attract. But then do you feel like YOU are special to all of them? Or are you just the newest guy who showed up that caught their attention? And do you expect women like that not to be "hypergamous", or attention seekers, or gold-diggers, etc etc?? Do you really think the women who act like that value YOU as a special person?
> 
> ...


You know I agree with you. When I discuss looks, muscles, sexuality, attraction, etc., I separate those elements from the discussions about attitudes, character, integrity, class and other intangible but vitally important attributes.

My own experiences show what you are saying is accurate and also, what many are saying about basic attraction and initial responses.

I really did have a number of women, across the spectrum, to choose from and a couple of them (actually 3 that I know of) were able to get work as professional models. They were all actually nice ladies but I was a wild man and they didn't have the chutzpah to grab my mane and hold on.

Mrs. C has always been a cutie but much more a Mary Anne than Ginger.

She also has a very real determination and once she decided to take hold of me, she held nothing back.

She literally was the first woman who I had to have and felt safe with.

You are right about what you are discussing. I just wanted to differentiate between how much I discuss surface attraction and sexual behavior with the deeper, more necessary traits.😉


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Lila said:


> I keep seeing these references to Channing Tatum and his role in Magic Mike.
> 
> I think he has a really nice body but the allure of Magic Mike wasn't how Channing Tatum looked, but how he MOVED. Dang..'nuff said. I can't hear that song Pony and not immediately flashback to Tatum's dance on his work table. 🔥🔥🔥


Being in good shape and knowing how to move?...

Deadly combination. Real lady killer mix.😁


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Being in good shape and knowing how to move?...
> 
> Deadly combination. Real lady killer mix.😁


Halfway there! 😛


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Being in good shape and knowing how to move?...
> 
> Deadly combination. Real lady killer mix.😁


Or just knowing how to move!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Or just knowing how to move!


Like the old saying says, "If you can dance, you can f***.........."


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Or just knowing how to move!


That's true. I recently watched a humorous video of a large lady dancing but the humorous intent was thrown off a little or mitigated by the fact the lady in question could really move what she had.

It definitely raised her attraction.😁


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I find it hard. The fighters I hang out with are dancing around all the time. All the footwork and stuff I have done and training and the dancing is still terrible. With that said I keep trying and I don’t care what it looks like haha.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

ccpowerslave said:


> I find it hard. The fighters I hang out with are dancing around all the time. All the footwork and stuff I have done and training and the dancing is still terrible. With that said I keep trying and I don’t care what it looks like haha.


Yep. That's why I take them down and smesh.

But...that's a thread jack to a thread jack to a thread jack. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> You got me curious 🤔. Did it for funsies, recent pic...


I’m glad you tried since it made me decide to as well. I’ve always felt that my face peaked in midlife so I ran four pics about 15 years apart, starting around 20. The first two were 89, the third (midlife) was 91, and the last was 89 (so it confirmed what I had felt about peaking in midlife). I also ran four pics of my exH from the same time as mine and we had very similar scores. I always felt we “matched” well (he never thought so). I wish he were still around so I could say “I told you so”.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Openminded said:


> I’m glad you tried since it made me decide to as well. I’ve always felt that my face peaked in midlife so I ran four pics about 15 years apart, starting around 20. The first two were 89, the third (midlife) was 91, and the last was 89 (so it confirmed what I had felt about peaking in midlife). I also ran four pics of my exH from the same time as mine and we had very similar scores. I always felt we “matched” well (he never thought so). I wish he were still around so I could say “I told you so”.


I don't have many pictures of myself at all, so couldn't try old ones. That's so fun that you did that! I do find people are more fascinating looking with age, there's so much more character and intelligence behind the eyes than an innocent baby face.

Eh, you most certainly did not match, his character was fundamentally flawed.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> I don't have many pictures of myself at all, so couldn't try old ones. That's so fun that you did that! I do find people are more fascinating looking with age, there's so much more character and intelligence behind the eyes than an innocent baby face.
> 
> Eh, you most certainly did not match, his character was fundamentally flawed.


Youth (IMO) is greatly overrated. I wasn’t sorry to leave it behind. I did greatly enjoy my mid-life years. Those really were the best by far. 

I still wish he had been different and we could have gone the distance. That was always my goal but it wasn’t meant to be.

But we work with what we have and not what we wish we had so now I enjoy this late-life time.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Openminded said:


> I’m glad you tried since it made me decide to as well. I’ve always felt that my face peaked in midlife so I ran four pics about 15 years apart, starting around 20. The first two were 89, the third (midlife) was 91, and the last was 89 (so it confirmed what I had felt about peaking in midlife). I also ran four pics of my exH from the same time as mine and we had very similar scores. I always felt we “matched” well (he never thought so). I wish he were still around so I could say “I told you so”.


You got some good math going for you!

ccpowerslave's dog is far better looking than me.😆


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I disagree with the assumption that every female who has been to a bar or goes to the gym is not LTR material. With the gym especially, all of the very best women I know personally can be found in the gym at least a couple days a week. I go to a smaller local gym and it's really easy to make connections with decent people in a place like that.


Definitely! In my generation, you'd have been hard-pressed to find anyone who hadn't been out clubbing. That would have been a dull person indeed. My crowd were music crowd and our goal was to see bands, and we did it a few nights a week if anyone was playing. Even Nancy Pelosi has allegedly been escorted out of a club before.

There have been many political fundraisers and election-night parties held at the same venue where the Sex Pistols once played here. I'm afraid y'all are getting too holier than thou with your generalizations about people who go to clubs or gyms for my taste, to be frank.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> I think you missed the caveat:


How does she know if she herself has never lowered herself to go there?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> You got some good math going for you!
> 
> ccpowerslave's dog is far better looking than me.😆


Hahaha he’s a cat! My cat is a looker. Anyone who likes cats is like damn that’s a fine animal you have there. British shorthairs are rare in the US and most people haven’t seen one IRL.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

farsidejunky said:


> Yep. That's why I take them down and smesh.
> 
> But...that's a thread jack to a thread jack to a thread jack.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


At parties we have if I drink enough beers I will join in the organized dancing we attempt. Electric slide!!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

@ccpoerslave I always wished I was more coordinated enough to try some of those group dances. I used to wish I could be a cage dancer at the Whisky A-Go-Go back in the day (I was too young, I guess for when they were really doing that). I still love to see a clip from old entertainment shows that have go-go dancers up on the catwalks and such as that. So much fun!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I still love to see a clip from old entertainment shows that have go-go dancers up on the catwalks and such as that. So much fun!


We have a playlist that has a bunch of “instructional group dance” ones and we get it going with about 15 women and 5 drunk guys that everyone laughs at. I try to flash mine out with extra pelvic thrusts and anything to make it more gnarly which normally results in people throwing things at me.

I’m pretty sure I went somewhere that had caged dancers fairly recently but I can’t place it. SF has weird stuff like bars with beds and trapeze artists and every other kind of perversion you can imagine but I am having trouble remembering where it was.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hahaha he’s a cat! My cat is a looker. Anyone who likes cats is like damn that’s a fine animal you have there. British shorthairs are rare in the US and most people haven’t seen one IRL.


Well a cat! That's different!😉


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> We have a playlist that has a bunch of “instructional group dance” ones and we get it going with about 15 women and 5 drunk guys that everyone laughs at. I try to flash mine out with extra pelvic thrusts and anything to make it more gnarly which normally results in people throwing things at me.
> 
> I’m pretty sure I went somewhere that had caged dancers fairly recently but I can’t place it. SF has weird stuff like bars with beds and trapeze artists and every other kind of perversion you can imagine *but I am having trouble remembering where it wa*s.


Little wonder!

So you're trying to shock people like Elvis, huh? That reminds me of one of my very favorite videos and also reminds me of my dad, who loved to dance and was one of those who had his arms up and then just thrusted his hips kind of out and up like he was having sex -- so embarrassing! 

This video always cracks me up. You have to be patient during the alphabet to get to the good part.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> You got some good math going for you!
> 
> ccpowerslave's dog is far better looking than me.😆


I think it’s all about hitting their ratios. 

(I’ve seen your pictures — you can take his cat with no problem.)


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Openminded said:


> I think it’s all about hitting their ratios.
> 
> (I’ve seen your pictures — you can take his cat with no problem.)


I dunno, cat daddy's hot stuff


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> I disagree with the assumption that every female who has been to a bar or goes to the gym is not LTR material. With the gym especially, all of the very best women I know personally can be found in the gym at least a couple days a week. I go to a smaller local gym and it's really easy to make connections with decent people in a place like that.


Well, I disagree with that too. Because that isn't what I wrote AT ALL.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> How does she know if she herself has never lowered herself to go there?


If you mean ME, you totally missed what I was saying in my post (just like Enigma did).

But that's ok...I'm heading over to the more fun MUSIC thread...Lol!!


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, I disagree with that too. Because that isn't what I wrote AT ALL.


Ok, let's argue!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> I dunno, cat daddy's hot stuff


My cat is amazing. I think if I built him an Instagram it would be popular but I think it might be too much for his already inflated ego.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Ok, let's argue!


Lolol!!!

I would love to, but I don't have time until later or tomorrow!


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> It's a little game I like to play and I've been doing it for years. In my experience, it doesn't matter who you pick. Literally any male celebrity or male model will be unattractive to the ladies in the room. Honestly, I call shenanigans on it but that's just one guy's opinion. I think it's all for show and maybe an ego boost for them to say they would never date (insert very attractive person here) because he just doesn't do it for them.
> 
> I've seen first hand what happens when guys like that walk into an actual room filled with women.


Many moons ago when I was working retail you'd hear the women say the same thing about guys with money. Meanwhile the baby daddy is in jail. I'd ask them where are all these rich guys they're turning down...............silence.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Dwayne is an extreme even though he is attractive to many women.
> 
> I'm definitely speaking from experience and real studies.
> 
> ...



I've been skinny and jacked. Jacked has produced WAY better results. Not to mention all the women who say "I normally don't go for guys with muscles" or "You're normally not my type".


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Who?


Is he the one who drowned the hooker or crashed the plane?


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> I have a weight room/gym built at the ranch and am in it everyday. I compete in Strongman competitions.


Finally, someone who would get my "getting stoned" references and bad jokes.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Al_Bundy said:


> Is he the one who drowned the hooker or crashed the plane?


Interchangeable


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Interchangeable


Filthy rich either way. Not a factor of course lol


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> There are some models who look way way worse without all their makeup.


I definitely prefer little to no makeup. My examples would be ex wife and GF. I don't know any celebrity examples.



Enigma32 said:


> And I think that denying that some people are universally unattractive is just sticking your head in the sand in regards to reality. I know I can look at myself and figure I am about average. If I were to meet someone who called me a 4, I wouldn't get offended, it's probably close to the truth. That number just gives people a pretty good idea of how attractive/unattractive someone is for the purposes of conversation.


I'm definitely a "meh". I'm OK with that. I've done what I can with what I have and can at least take pride in that. 

I don't think I've ever had a celebrity crush, really. I guess I can agree with some of the women here at least in principle. I can objectively recognize that movie stars have symmetry and look healthy or whatever but I'm not going to go out of my way to watch whatever they're in.



DownByTheRiver said:


> Men always HOPE women mostly care about muscles, because muscles is something any man can get. A pretty face and height isn't.


It's nice to pretend you have some agency.



ccpowerslave said:


> I never viewed height as a big deal but maybe it’s because I’m tall.


Tall guy: height doesn't matter.

Model: looks don't matter.

Me: LOL.

As an alternative to the models and movie stars (80+%) that we've seen here. This is average, I think. Granted selfies just a couple months apart got significantly different results:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hiner112 said:


> I definitely prefer little to no makeup. My examples would be ex wife and GF. I don't know any celebrity examples.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


At least you didn't tie with a cat.😂


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Hiner112 said:


> I definitely prefer little to no makeup. My examples would be ex wife and GF. I don't know any celebrity examples.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's AI, don't put too much stock in it. It rated my bf about the same and I am nuts about the man, so naturally I don't agree with it's assement 




ConanHub said:


> At least you didn't tie with a cat.😂


No shame, man, Cat Daddy is hot stuff (I don't like cats)


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Any number of very attractive celebrities end up with average scores on that site.

There are certain ratios it likes.


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