# Hello TAM



## Thanos (May 4, 2019)

My name is J.R. not junior. Been married 30 yrs. 3 grown children. Marriage has ups and downs. But I have one question.

Is there any marriage that just seems to not be in the heat of battle every second of every moment. I mean I feel i could have PTSD from all the tounge lashings and verbal beatings I've taken. Being told how I'm not as good as this husband or that guy. Maybe I put up with too much. I've stayed because i figured all marriages is the same. Any thoughts would help. Thanks


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hello and welcome to TAM.

Have you considered relationship counselling, @Thanos?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Thanos said:


> But I have one question.
> 
> Is there any marriage that just seems to not be in the heat of battle every second of every moment.
> 
> ...


Best


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Not at all. That sounds like torture. Perhaps even abuse! Does your wife treat everyone this way, or just you?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Sounds awful. Even a boring, neglectful marriage is better than your spouse telling you that you aren't good enough. 

Why do you stay? I know, a lot of us stayed in stupid marriages, but constant put downs should make you run! You wouldn't accept this kind of behavior from a friend, or sibling, or child, or acquaintance..... you certainly should not be accepting it from the one person who promised to love and cherish you! 

Why do you think she does this? Is it you? Is it true? Or is she a *****? Or just crazy? What kind of things does she say? Have you been to marriage counseling? 

Bottom line: You have choices. 
1. You can try to change the dynamics of the relationship....there are things to do, books to read, advice to follow, etc..... and try to improve your life. 
2. Do nothing, and things remain the same. 
3. Leave/divorce and improve yourself so that you can find a partner who does not berate you.


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