# What to do...



## Baileym (Dec 9, 2009)

My husband and I have a wonderful marriage for the most part. The worst problem that we have though is he is into bondage and I am not. Without going into detail I will just say it is simple stuff like tying, blindfold and little stuff like that.

Here is the problem, I am NOT in the least bit into it. As a matter of fact it makes me really uncomfortable and makes me feel disgusting the next day.

He has got to know how much I hate it since the only time I ever "give in" is when we drink which is rare. It makes me feel so horrible that after this happens we don't have sex for up to a month after.

I have talked to him about this and he will just say how he guesses he will just have to give up something he likes and just have regular sex all the time.


I have done this in the past because I want him to be happy but the way it makes me feel after just doesn't seem worth it.

Am I being a baby? Am I wrong to not just suck it up every now and then? Could someone that has had a similar issue please give me some advice?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

are you being a baby? perhaps a little, but if you dont like something you dont like it. he should make adjustments (read compromises) accordingly. anything that causes negative reaction like sexually shutting down or demeaning and making the other partner feel disgusting just needs to be eliminated from the routine.

on the other hand, he isnt deviant with his light bondage desires. are you otherwise "frisky" during sex or are you kinda hung up and prudish like my wife is? there is alot of things i wish we did that just seem out of the realm of possibility.


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

Maybe you should just try the blindfold first without tying up as this should highten your other senses like sound, touch ect and your anticipation levels will go through the roof, this is something that should be an enjoyable experience and not something that makes you feel disgusting.

With regards to being tied up what is it that makes your feel disgusting? is it that you are handing over total contol to your partner so they can do whatever they want and this makes you feel uncomfortable and cheap?

When it comes to bondage my personal experience is that you have to have complete trust in your partner, we use a "safe" word to stop things should they get too much this is much better than just shouting out stop and you have to agree beforehand that if either one of you says your chosen safe word that the other partner HAS to stop whatever it is they are doing.

Are you happy to tie him up? If it's really not for you then it's really not for you and he has to respect that especially if it makes you feel as bad as you say it does, you can't carry on like that.


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## sweetpee (Jan 5, 2010)

You sound like me I think it's the fear of the unknown that your uneasy with but listen I'm on the edge like you this is the first man I care to try anything with and very ready but I am nerves as well.


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