# Post coital kisses, caresses, and tenderness



## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

How much is enough, and how much is too much?

Not to put a stopwatch on it, but how soon do you find that enough is enough?

I am interested in women's opinions. 

I wonder if women and men different in this regard?


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

We cuddle for a really long time. Mostly fall asleep in each other's arms. I certainly get enough post cuddles. I am lucky that my husband loves cuddles and can never get enough. Was not so in my past relationships.

I don't think there can be "too much" cuddling.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

How long is a piece of string? I think we're all different and presume that preferring post coital cuddling is not driven by gender differences. 

My luscious wife is seldom interested in kissing and cuddling after the event and I am happy with that. On rare occasion we do remain entwined yet ultimately we both find it more comfortable to sleep afterwards if we have our own space on our bed.

I have also been with women who have enjoyed kissing and cuddling for a good while afterwards. I've also had no problem with that and if that is what they like I can't see the harm in maintaining an embrace.

In general my wife and I enjoy our kisses and cuddles throughout the day whenever we are together.

2asdf2, what do you prefer to do?


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Sun Catcher said:


> We cuddle for a really long time. Mostly fall asleep in each other's arms. I certainly get enough post cuddles. I am lucky that my husband loves cuddles and can never get enough. Was not so in my past relationships.
> 
> *I don't think there can be "too much" cuddling.*


I tend to think that too, but I wonder how universal that sentiment is.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I love a few long, deep kisses and caresses immediately following sex. It extends the intimacy, strengthens the bond, keeps that closeness. We always smooch, look into eachother's eyes, touch, caress, smile, and basically express without words... "Wow! Look how great that was!"

Then, like Sun Catcher said, we usually fall asleep in each other's arms. Very romantic and I feel so safe, protected. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

As for how long? Just a few short minutes, but it feels perfect.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

A few minutes is enough for me, usually--especially if it's at bedtime. My husband is snoring in about two minutes flat anyway.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Few minutes. DH is not a snuggly sleeper.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

My wife falls asleep almost immediately and I'm left high and dry and wanting to talk. I tell her we are quite a role reversal from the stereotype of the man who instantly rolls over and goes to sleep. That's her.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

After sex cuddles are something he demands more than me. I usually jump right up to pee and start dinner. I do love when he pulls me back for snuggles though sometimes even I will initiate the post sex cuddle session. He loves when I initiate it. We end snuggles when it feels right. A few minutes..30mins...whatever
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

We stay connected as long as possible, then we will lay next to each other with some soft caresses. I hate snuggling, or being held, being entwined for longer than 30 seconds. I think I even started a thread about it a long time ago. 

H usually falls asleep very quickly afterwards, I however am very energized by sex and have a hard time settling down. I have to go to the bathroom after sex and by the time I get back H is usually asleep.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

We might kiss for a minute or so afterwards but to be honest I'm usually really hot and I'm really not up for cuddling. I need cool air. My husband has always said that my body gives off heat like a furnace. That's why he usually cuddles up to me right when he gets in bed.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

HAHAHA....that's me too!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

We kiss and cuddle for some time, no idea how long then he falls asleep while we cuddle. I used to fall asleep at the same time as him but lately I can't sleep after sex, too much going on in my life and I lay awake thinking.

I actually like it when he falls asleep first as he fidgets a lot and he pinches me involuntarily, it is so sweet. I also like to kiss him and look at him while he sleeps. 

During the working week, after a morning quickie either or both of us jump straight up to get ready for the day.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Hmm. Now where did Mr. And Mrs. Adams go? They were just here a few minutes ago...



As for me, I'll just say I am very pro cuddle, and male. No guess what gender might have to do with it. Touch is important to me.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> we usually cuddle and caress after climax...one of my favorite things to do after intercourse is to suck and smell his penis...I love the smell and taste afterwards.
> 
> he usually within five minutes falls fast asleep..I then spoon and smell his back until i fall asleep.
> 
> I have always loved the smell of my husband....when he travels...it is very hard for me to go sleep...I so miss the spooning and smell.


...interesting you focus on the smell of your husband.

...as I was reading these posts, I had a similar thought about my wife ...as I had always told her that her skin had the scent of "fresh dairy" products like milk, cream etc. After sex ...it's sorta' the same ...but sweatier ...and I love it. I have a tendancy to 'linger' over her with cuddling and kisses ......until she zonks out ...and even after that. 

.....I figure, you don't (usually) go thru the day with an entire playground of nekkid skin next to you ...so ...get while the getting is good.


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## OptimusPrime (Feb 11, 2014)

Oh the Mrs. Is a Big Time Cuddler.............................



Unfortunately it's with her pillow Instead of me :redcard:


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Well I like hot and sweaty sex. Unfortunately that is not the kind of afterglow my wife wants any part of. She generally just turns her switch off after all is said and done.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I can remember those days....the sexual explosion of climax follwed by the spooning and closeness. Its how it should be.

Sadly I don't even like my wife even 'breaking my personal space' now....she has managed to distance me that much.

Ho Hum.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

askari said:


> I can remember those days....the sexual explosion of climax follwed by the spooning and closeness. Its how it should be.
> 
> Sadly I don't even like my wife even 'breaking my personal space' now....she has managed to distance me that much.
> 
> Ho Hum.


That's sad, askari.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Dh will pretty much hold me as long as I want after sex. He likes to bring up future plans at that time, like putting an addition on the house, or what kind of work he will be doing in the future. It really is a very peaceful, bonding time. 

I am glad he does not just hop right out of bed, or fall asleep immediately.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> ....
> I have always loved the smell of my husband....when he travels...it is very hard for me to go sleep...I so miss the spooning and smell.


Mrs. Adams may I suggest you do as we have done when I was travelling a lot? I used to make the bed and leave a sexy "used" night gown I wore under his pillow. He liked that, always commented that the smell would lull him to sleep. And, I was always in a different time zone, hours ahead of here, so we would Skype and he would soft talk me to sleep... I'd have the ipad on the bed and he would "keep me company" until I was asleep. 

Worked for us then, now I just won't go anywhere without him. 

Have Mr. Adams leave you a worn t-shirt or something. And, try spooning with his pillow, not the same as the real thing, but may help


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Post coital kisses, caresses, and tenderness*



OptimusPrime said:


> Oh the Mrs. Is a Big Time Cuddler.............................
> 
> 
> 
> Unfortunately it's with her pillow Instead of me :redcard:


.....I'd look into a pair of pajamas that resembles a big pillowcase.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

A T-shirt will do... One he has worn the previous day? My honey doesn't wear anything to bed either and is so disappointed when I do (sometimes is cold even in Florida!) so he made me what he calls "shimmy shirts". He cut off the bottoms of T shirts just round about where my nipples are so I get the advantage of having my shoulders covered (that's the part I feel cold) and the rest of me is erm... Accessible.  works for both of us. 

We belong to the hand holdin in public brigade, too. Honey comments when we see another couple (all too rare). Always says he is glad to see another couple "get with the program". 

It may have taken us 55 years to find one another but it was well worth the wait and the pain of failed relationships to be here today. 

There are many happy couples here on TAM and many not so happy singles and broken couples who are learning and striving for what we have. I wish every one of them finds real love in good time.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I'm a very 'smell' person too. 

I know babies have a specific smell that makes their parents want to pick them up and cuddle them.....but even cuddling and smelling my children aged 4,5,6 etc was absolutely devine!

Sadly my son is now 14...we still hug but its 'different'...fortunately my 11yr old daughter is still into hugs and cuddles....she smells lovely - except when she is hot and sweaty after playing sports!

I so miss the heavenly smell of that special person you make love to...


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I was going to suggest a t shirt as well Mrs A, that 's what I do. 

I LOVE the smell of my gorgeous man.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*As a guy, I've also been heavily into close post-coital cuddling, and also into taking in the resulting and intoxicating aromatic fragrance! 

It's simply heavenly!*


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

jld said:


> Dh will pretty much hold me as long as I want after sex. He likes to bring up future plans at that time, like putting an addition on the house, or what kind of work he will be doing in the future. It really is a very peaceful, bonding time.
> 
> I am glad he does not just hop right out of bed, or fall asleep immediately.


We tend to do this when we first get to bed, we spoon and chat. Post coital cuddles tend to be quite short.

I am the archetypical male, nookie just knocks me out. We refer to it as my sleeping draught.

I like to be warm in bed Mrs Wysh prefers to be cooler so a hot D) guy cuddling her for too long is uncomfortable for her.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I have always loved the smell of my husband....when he travels...it is very hard for me to go sleep...I so miss the spooning and smell.


Mrs. JA... I thought I was the only one!! My lover's smell is a total APRODISIAC to me!

At night when we're in bed, I smell him all over (yes, even THERE too!) My favorite places to smell though are his chest and his (sorry if this is TMI) his armpits!!! :smthumbup: I can't explain it... it's a wicked combination of a musky male sweat/cologne. NOT body odor, but it's definitely male and it definitely turns me on. I think I drive him nuts sometimes... he's trying to go to sleep and I'm lifting his arms to smell him... :rofl:

I've never told anyone this besides him (and now thousands of TAM members!) I've also never experienced this with any other partners -- there weren't many, but enough to make a good comparison. That's what leads me to believe that chemistry is such an important part of a relationship.

Can you cultivate chemistry if it's not already there? I'm not sure, but I don't think so. I think it's a huge part of attraction and sexual fulfillment.

Thanks for sharing your "sniffing" experiences...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Regarding cuddling right after sex, but with a slightly different wrinkle: Is it ever bit as popular with wayward couples as it is with committed or married couples? My educated guess would be that it probably is.

As a BS, in the waning days of being together with my "unbeknownst to me" cheating XW, after having had sex with her, it was basically a "you go to your side of the bed, I'll go to mine and don't touch me" situation. This was a time that I later discovered that she was summarily banging her other BF's on her out-of-town trips, and then coming back home and then occasionally having sex with me to probably just deter any suspicion on my part.

I just wondered if that was as popular among the waywards as it was with the faithful!*


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Sun Catcher said:


> I used to make the bed and leave a sexy "used" night gown I wore under his pillow.


This is very sweet but I have to respectfully disagree.

I don't believe in wearing anything in a bedroom. :smthumbup:


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I do love how you think though...don't you love hearing about other people who really love each other?
> We love seeing people in love...somehow it makes you appreciate what you have even more..especially when you see others cuddling or kissing, or holding hands in public. It makes you want to reach out and take your baby's hand.
> 
> :smthumbup:






I truly appreciate what folks are sharing. Though it is uncomfortable to hear this sort of thing right now in my highly contrasting situation, it is quite useful for me to do so as it helps me remember what some folks expect as normal and desirable, and to hear confirmation that it is possible.



So, keep loving each other, all sweaty and smelly like! Helps the rest of us to keep the dream alive.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

ntamph said:


> This is very sweet but I have to respectfully disagree.
> 
> I don't believe in wearing anything in a bedroom. :smthumbup:


I have a quite a few sexy pieces of lingerie and a few pairs of very high spiked heels to go with them. It isn't only the smell but the visual he can conjure up of the last time I wore it. 

It is delightful when he specifically requests a certain outfit. I know he has been thinking about me all day.


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I guess we need to be more sensitive to those who are not as fortunate as we are.
> 
> It is sad to think so many people struggle sexually. I have never understood why we make things so complicated.
> 
> ...


You know better than that!


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