# Still love him



## CDOCH78911 (Jul 11, 2009)

Been married 9 years. have tolerated his abusive drinking. He did it at home and fell asleep. But when he quit his job in December .and refuses to look for ANOTHER ONE, WANTS TO work out of his own shop. But over the LAST MONTH HE HAS BEEN ON 4 FISHING TRIPS. wE HAVE RENTED OUT OUR HOUSE NOT TO LOSE IT. i LIVE IN A rv HE LIVES OUT OF Bag between his mom and his brother because i keep losing it and telling him to leave. That I am not going to support his semi retirement. Whats wrong with me why cant i let go? He really is a good person. The seperaion is so painful that I don't last and we get together again, the sex is good but then I just get mad again be cause he doesn't even make an effort, When he leaves his family makes it so easy for him that he doesn't seem to feel any pain. I hurt when he is here and when he is gone.


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## D8zed (Mar 12, 2009)

Time to move on and find happiness for yourself.


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## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

Boy do I feel your pain. My in laws are the same....making everything easier on the addict. Enablers. That is what they are called.

I know how painful separation is....this is my second in five months. He chose to leave this time. If he wants you...and it sounds like he does....don't give in. If you do....he will eventually start to think he can get away with murder and you'll open your arms up to him.

When you put your foot down...keep it there. You can still love him....but don't let him back....until he is well.

Also....living out of a rv is not healthy...unless it's what you wanted out of life....( doesn't sound that way). So....get yourself together and find an apartment...or get your house back if possible. Then go to al anon or another support group. And trust me.....eventually he will feel pain.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

"Whats wrong with me why cant.... (whatever you want to fill in here....)? 

Like my mother once told me LONG LONG ago:

"When it hurts bad enough you will find you CAN.....(whateveryou want to fill in here....)!


See it is "emotional economics": When the emotional pain COSTS you too much, you will STOP with the painful behavior....


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## karajh (Jul 25, 2009)

I agree with D8ZED.. It is time to move on with your life and be happy. My first relationship that I had my kids with was abusive and he drank and did God only knows what else. What I had to ask myself was... is this what I want for the rest of my life? You have lost everything due to his selfishness! Just try to concentrate on yourself and making yourself fulfilled. When he see's you being a confident woman that can take care of herself... it will cause him pain for what he has lost.. even if he is drinking!
Good Luck!


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