# Experiences of obesity please



## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Hi all

My husband and I have lost a little weight recently which is good and very much needed. I am now slightly overweight and need to lose an extra stone. My husband however has a BMI of 30.7 and considered obese, although he is not huge by any means. 

Although he has done really well, been eating healthy foods, using the cross trainer regularly, walking more...he is doing what he usually does when the weight comes off and cakes, crisps and chocolate are slowly making their way back into the cupboard and he is only on the cross trainer every few days (he says its boring). 

The reason he relapses is because whenever he goes for health checks or to give blood they generally comment on how healthy he is ..good bp, low cholesterol, perfect liver function. He doesn't have any joint pain and rarely gets sick. He knows that I find him attractive even with a bit of a tummy (he's very good looking and I am not into skinny or over muscular men). So his incentive after a few months wains and the weight slowly creeps back on.

It scares me because I hear of people in their 50's having heart disease or diabetes or permanent health problems because of weight they have carried in the past. I am worried that it will eventually catch up with him, my father had a heart attack in his early 50's! My husband's entire family have obesity that seems to be getting worse as they get older - he is the least fat in his family. 

Please can someone help me get through to him the importance of getting out of the obese range. Last night he told me he will _always_ be overweight - which sounded a bit defeatist to me. [Worried].

Thank you


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

There's always the possibility of genetic predisposition to things, like high cholesterol, diabetes, and even weight/metabolism. So part of what he says may be true. 

Mostly, weight loss is a function of diet - portion and nutrition. The exercise is important but sometimes considered less so than the calories you consume. 

In our household, we rarely have anything "fun." It's simply not allowed. I can regulate and have willpower but Odo does not, so the rule is we don't have it in the house, period. There are some things I like as an occasional treat (like liquorice) that he detests so I don't have to worry about having it around. 

The brain is naturally addicted to sugar. With enough consistent willpower, you can convince the brain to say it doesn't care about passing up sugar. You can also use psychology to create a negative reaction to certain foods. For instance, I've become very sensitive to processed sugar, like on a donut that's been under the sugar waterfall. I simply look at it and feel ill because I know I'll FEEL ill if I ATE it. The forward thinking is enough to stop me.

I eat prunes, dates, figs - not things you associate with sweets but they are naturally sweet and high in natural sugar. So they have plenty of calories. Figs (fresh) are superfoods. 

I think that it takes a reprogramming of a lifestyle and mind to be honest. You have to be strict and cruel to be kind. A cheat day should really only be a cheat "bite" or a cheat "small serving" for someone seriously wanting to lose weight. 

Putting things into perspective:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Peri-menopause did a number on my weight so until the hormones evened out we kept all treats out of the house. When I wanted a dessert we would go to a restaurant and share a serving. It really helps to not have it in the house. Also, candied ginger is something you can keep around as one can only eat 1 or 2 pieces before you think 'enough of that'.

Your husband's thinking he'll always be overweight reminds me of when I rolled out the plan to have the mortgage paid off before husband was fifty. He said he'd figured he would always have a mortgage. Not on my watch. I didn't want us to have to worry about a mortgage should a job loss occur. You need to reset his expectation.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

peacem said:


> Hi all
> 
> My husband and I have lost a little weight recently which is good and very much needed. I am now slightly overweight and need to lose an extra stone. My husband however has a BMI of 30.7 and considered obese, although he is not huge by any means.
> 
> ...


And if he doesn't do something about it, he will always be dead, too.

And yes, I am obese. (Or, "Obeast" as a slightly dotty woman once told me!)

I have gone from 21 stone to 15 stone by walking. A lot.

My wife and I try to walk at least 6 miles every evening, more if we can fit it in and it does help.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Holy smokes, good for you, Matt Matt!

Peacem, my nutritionist recently sent me a really good article she wrote, and the gist of it was that if you have only 20 minutes to either go for a walk, or whip up a healthy meal, to always choose the meal first. It's much healthier to eat a baked fish steak with steamed veggies than it is to go to McDonalds, then hit the streets for a 20 minute walk. So, it's all about healthy choices, but what you intake is more important than your output.

For me, I find it easier to just not keep unhealthy snacks in the house, because if they're there, I'll eat them. I LOVE cookies and chocolate, so things like that I know I can't buy (although treats once in awhile are also a must). I was on low carb for quite awhile, and found that after about a week of cutting myself off of all carbs (even fruit), I didn't miss them much. It's a pallet cleanse, and if your pallet is used to sweet stuff, it'll crave more and more sweet stuff; if you cut it out, you'll get used to the new foods after awhile. It's not easy, don't get me wrong, it's really hard, but it's so worth it!

You only get 1 body, you might as well take care of it!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Weight is hard to lose but even harder to keep off, and a lot of people fail.

It's very hard to permanently alter one's diet, which is what's required.

I think more people fail at maintaining then actual weight loss. 

Have you tried asking him not to keep that stuff in the house?


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## MrNightly (Feb 6, 2017)

So I'm a pretty young 35 year old male... but in my late 20's i was working out a ton with weights and ZERO cardio. I was also a Cop at the time and worked midnights and ate way too much.

I ballooned up to 230lbs. 

The way I handled it was simple. Increased my cardio a little. And controlled my PORTIONS. I still ate pizza, just not 4 pieces. I still went to the eat a meal out, just as often, but I got a knife and cut my portion in HALF immediately and set in a "To go" box. I asked for the box up front.

It worked.

i dropped down to 175 in about 4-6 months, and have held that weight at around 180-185 ever since. 

You don't have to change your diet... just eat less. We don't need as much food as we age. And as American's/Western Civilizations, we eat too much.

This worked well for me. I was hungry for the first few weeks, but my stomach shrunk eventualy and I have been happy ever since.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Type 2 Diabetic at age 37. I'm now 51. Some things I'm seeing here worry me.
You need help to convince your husband to lower his BMI by 5.8 event though health professionals say he is healthy. Mostly this is to make you feel more secure.
You have been advised to remove all Fun from your home. Sounds like a disaster to me.
Being Diabetic I am very well aware that eating dried fruits is just about the quickest way to put your blood sugar through the ceiling. Pancakes with Syrup is a bit faster.
Almost every person who ever lived ended up permanently Dead.
Maintaining a weight is not hard. My body mass has not changed more than 10-15% in 14 years. Maintaining a healthy weight could be a different question. 

I had an interesting talk with my Diabetes Specialist (doctor of internal medicine) last visit. I had regained the weight I had lost due to exercise restrictions and dietary changes to heal a foot injury. I asked him When he would be satisfied with my weight loss. This is what he told me. was a bit of a shock he asked what I weighed at high school Graduation. I was a wrestler in high school and was very aware of my weight. My BM! was 23.4 high end of Normal and in Fighting trim. Then he reminded me of the benefits. I could get off of most of my medications. He put me on yet another diet. I'm off insulin, I'm well regulated Sugars. I'm losing weight pretty steadily. I'm feeling like it is possible. 

I still may insist on that dual scan x-ray fat measurement if my waist gets down another 4 inches. But the kicker for me is quality of life no needles every day. Feeling better, swimming and hiking. 

So my advice is you get a good doctor. Preferably one who specializes. Then you get a real evaluation, one that considers more than 2 measurements. Then YOU accept the doctors recommendations. And last make sure there is plenty of "fun" in your home. Why would anyone want to prolong a miserable existence?


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

I was at your husband's BMI. I'm almost to a normal BMI now. I did it with a low-carb, high-protein diet. 

You should ask him if he'd be willing to do a week-long challenge with you, to see who can lose more weight. At the beginning of the week you'll weigh yourselves and record it. Then for one whole week, you'll limit your carb intake to 20 grams and boost your protein intake to the 100-120 gram range. You'll make a menu for the entire week that includes beef, chicken, bacon, cheese, eggs, mushrooms, broccoli, creamy dip/dressing, sugar-free Jello. The only "crisps" he'll have access to will be fried pork rinds. Maybe you'll have an occasional tiny handful of walnuts. You'll drink a number of high-protein shakes (the low-carb kind) every day. There will be no sweets, bread, candies, etc.

Warn him that it will be hard, but it's just a week. Explain that there are people who _do without_ food for a week, so certainly he should be able to tolerate something less taxing that what those people go through. At the end of the week, you'll see who lost more weight and won the contest. 

You will both see dramatic results. If he's been faithful to the diet, he will have "won", of course, because his gender and BMI facilitate faster weight loss. But you've won because you fooled him into dieting. The dramatic results might make him wiling to try an additional week and another "contest".


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Your husband is just like my wife. Trust me, he won't change. He will always rationalize and find some excuse to eat chips, crisps, cookies, cakes and ice cream.

Mrs Blue gained weight. Obese. Ended up with fatty liver, then liver failure and needed a liver transplant. At 45 yo.

I am absolutely convinced that your husband's liver function is NOT perfect. Who told him it was perfect? His primary care doctor? The PCP is NOT a liver specialist. We learned the hard way. Mrs Blue's liver was fine too, until it wasn't. Our doctor missed it too. And once it isn't fine, it doesn't repair. 200 (yes, that's right) doctor appts so far. Still going. 

Two weeks ago my overweight best buddy was diagnosed with same illness. His liver enzyme levels were "perfect". Still, through a fluke he was checked for something else and they found the life threatening problem. Basically, your husband's liver levels were not high enough for that doctor to recommend a specialist. That was the interpretation. I bet the liver is in overdrive trying to maintain itself. That's what causes it to fail. Liver failure is tortuous. No symptoms until it is too late. BTDT. What I know about liver failure can fill a book, and I am not a doctor.

There is no healthy fat. There is no healthy obesity. Walking won't do it. He needs to cut the calories. 

The extra fat decrease his testosterone and will eventually make his pecker stop working. He should care about that, if nothing else.

My weight too would latch on to the "good things" the doctor said and conveniently forget the most important think ALL her doctors tell her. LOSE WEIGHT. 

Sorry that I am on my soap box but this is part of the reason I ended up at TAM. 

BTW, overweight MIL died of heart attack at 50. Overweight Grandmother in law dies at 75 of heart attack. Both were preventable 

My dad was overweight. Died of few months ago. At the funeral viewing my mother broke down, saying she hated my father for "leaving her". I know she was distraught. But if he was not overweight and if he exercised he would be alive now. He preferred to eat cakes, crisps and chocolate and nuts.

Mrs. Blue will say she would rather die that give them up. Eventually she will get her wish. We all die. I personally prefer to delay it.

PM me his ALT and AST levels and I will give my non medical opinion.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Me talking to 18-year-old Gus...

[to his younger, slimmer, self] 
McComb: "Do yourself a favor: lay off the ****ing candy bars."

(Ron Silver quote from Timecop)


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Tatsuhiko said:


> I was at your husband's BMI. I'm almost to a normal BMI now. I did it with a low-carb, high-protein diet.
> 
> You should ask him if he'd be willing to do a week-long challenge with you, to see who can lose more weight. At the beginning of the week you'll weigh yourselves and record it. Then for one whole week, you'll limit your carb intake to 20 grams and boost your protein intake to the 100-120 gram range. You'll make a menu for the entire week that includes beef, chicken, bacon, cheese, eggs, mushrooms, broccoli, creamy dip/dressing, sugar-free Jello. The only "crisps" he'll have access to will be fried pork rinds. Maybe you'll have an occasional tiny handful of walnuts. You'll drink a number of high-protein shakes (the low-carb kind) every day. There will be no sweets, bread, candies, etc.
> 
> ...


You are right. He will "win". Because most of the weight he loses from cutting carbs that week will be water. And he will lose much LESS the second week, get discouraged, and stop. Or he will say he lost weight and there now has "room" to eat more crisps.

The issue is not immediate weight loss but long term loss and keeping it off. He needs to want to do that without gimmicks. 

OP, Here is something to try. Buy a new bathroom scale. One that measures weight, body fat, water content, muscle content. Both you and him weigh yourself in the morning before eating, same time every day. Record the measurements.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Unless your H wants to do it for himself, unfortunately he will always find an excuse (as you can see by the fact that he said he will always be overweight). Really not much else you can do except try to encourage him. Each person is different, so I don't think there is a catch all way to motivate him. For myself, after we had our second kid my weight slowly got away from me. The thing was, although I was "overweight" (my weight got up to 235lbs peak at 5'11", I think around 27 BMI or so), the way I carried my hid it well. I went more with the "strong fat" excuse, and most people would say I just looked more like a stocky football player (so only further boosted my idea that I wasn't overweight). 

Ya know, don't know what triggered it, by literally overnight I got tired of being this way. I have always worked out but never did cardio and never really watched what I ate. Changed my workout plan, starting doing a lot of cardio (running, etc...) and in less then a year dropped close to 50lbs (I think my BMI got as low as 12). Ended up being a bit too much of a weight loss, so over time I have just slowly added weight back on (mostly muscle, at least that is what I continue to tell myself  ). So why did I do it ... part was to look good for my W (although she had never complained about my looks). Honestly though, if that was my only reason it wouldn't have been enough. I just got tired of feeling that stomach roll bunch up when sitting in a car. Got tired of my shins hurting when I was running around with the kids. I have always been into exercise and being active, so got tired of feeling like such a hypocrite when I wasn't living the lifestyle I always advocated. 

Your H just needs to find his own motivation. The harder you push him most likely that further he will get away. In terms of exercise, is there something he really enjoys doing (walks, hiking, lifting weights, etc...)? For food, the last thing you want to do is go cold turkey, this is a big reason why so many diets fail. Instead, have him focus on making small changes. Look into IIFYM which gives him some flexibility in the foods he can eat. Try a program like MyFitnessPal to help him track his macros. Small steps, you are not looking for him to diet, you want him to view it more as a lifestyle change (i.e. not the Bruce Jenner kind  )


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Your husband is just like my wife. Trust me, he won't change. He will always rationalize and find some excuse to eat chips, crisps, cookies, cakes and ice cream.
> 
> Mrs Blue gained weight. Obese. Ended up with fatty liver, then liver failure and needed a liver transplant. At 45 yo.
> 
> ...


That's scared the crap out of me! He went for a medical last year where he got a tonne of paperwork which his GP basically skimmed over it as 'fine'. For some reason H has taken the results to work and are sat in his drawer but I have asked him to bring them home next week when he goes back. So I will PM you then - thank you!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

peacem said:


> That's scared the crap out of me! He went for a medical last year where he got a tonne of paperwork which his GP basically skimmed over it as 'fine'. For some reason H has taken the results to work and are sat in his drawer but I have asked him to bring them home next week when he goes back. So I will PM you then - thank you!


Generally speaking, everything will be fine ...until it's not.

Additionally, unless he's getting blood drawn and tested every single day, pinpointing when that straight line went from a subtle curve and then to a sharp rise (or drop) will be difficult.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Generally speaking, everything will be fine ...until it's not.
> 
> Additionally, unless he's getting blood drawn and tested every single day, pinpointing when that straight line went from a subtle curve and then to a sharp rise (or drop) will be difficult.


I agree with Gus. 

You may THINK everything is fine, until you KNOW it is not. Yes, @peacem doesn't need to panic, but she is right to be concerned. Too often the PCP will just say - all is fine, when it might not be. She asked for personal experiences, I gave two. 

It is all about managing risk. Any doctor will tell you that. Obesity is KNOWN on average to put him at increased risk for a whole slew of diseases and conditions. That's a medical fact. Why put yourself at higher risk? (We all know why. Crisps taste good and exercise isn't fun.)

He should have a full physical exam and if any areas of concern detected monitor that condition more frequently. No one will care for his health more than himself, not even his doctor. If you don't take ownership of your health, no one else would.

BTW, Mrs. Blue has blood drawn weekly. It sucks. Better to avoid the problem at the start than to manage its consequences afterwards.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I will always say to diet the way your doctor advises. But having Said that I've been on the very low carb Ketogenic diet for 14 weeeks. I've lost weight on 9 of those weeks of the other 5 weeks only one was a serious gain the rest were 1 pound or less. 
I'm pretty sure I didn't lose 25 pounds of water, but hey my doctor will look it over in 2 more weeks so I don't have to rely on internet rumors.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> You may THINK everything is fine, until you KNOW it is not. Yes, @peacem doesn't need to panic, but she is right to be concerned. Too often the PCP will just say - all is fine, when it might not be. She asked for personal experiences, I gave two.
> 
> It is all about managing risk. Any doctor will tell you that. Obesity is KNOWN on average to put him at increased risk for a whole slew of diseases and conditions. That's a medical fact. Why put yourself at higher risk? (We all know why. Crisps taste good and exercise isn't fun.)
> 
> ...


Not sure if you caught on, but I was agreeing w/ you.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> You are right. He will "win". Because most of the weight he loses from cutting carbs that week will be water. And he will lose much LESS the second week, get discouraged, and stop. Or he will say he lost weight and there now has "room" to eat more crisps.
> 
> The issue is not immediate weight loss but long term loss and keeping it off. He needs to want to do that without gimmicks.
> 
> OP, Here is something to try. Buy a new bathroom scale. One that measures weight, body fat, water content, muscle content. Both you and him weigh yourself in the morning before eating, same time every day. Record the measurements.


Buying a scale and writing down numbers doesn't accomplish anything. Keeping your weight within an acceptable range by periodically dieting works just fine. And it's not just water that's lost, it's fat. No "gimmick" involved.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I have posted elsewhere about this, but I am coming to the successful conclusion of a 12 year (at this point) journey. I have been overweight my entire life. I was big in highschool, and put on the football and wrestling squads. I even joined a military program, but I never learned how to control my eating and in University, my weight ballooned, as I was still eating like a HS jock without the exercise. I have lost some weight when I was 21, but went back up and lost some again when I was 33. Oh, and to add insult to injury, I was a 3 pack a day smoker. I was looking for trouble.

I had my first heart attack at age 40, and it did not teach me a lesson. The second was devastating. It was called the widowmaker. They tried an angioplasty only for me to react to the blood thinner and have a total cascading body clot. I was in a coma for 3 days. I woke up briefly to hear the Dr working on me (tracheostomy) tell my wife that she should think about making my final arrangements. I woke up a day or so later. I had lost a great deal of my immune system. All of my childhood diseases came back. I was physically incapable of anything for nearly two years. Oh, and just to add something new to the party, while I was on the gurney, the triage physician asked me how long I had been a diabetic. I told him about six seconds.

In 2004 my mother died. My mother and I had similar body types (Dad was tall and skinny, just like my bro), she had suffered four strokes, but they did not kill her, just took her in bits and pieces. What did kill her was something that I did not know existed at the time, a bowel infarction, which is essentially a heart attack in your colon. It dies, and kills you verrrrry slowly, and in agony. I slept on her hospital room floor, hearing her scream periodically. A week later, I joined Weight Watchers.

I asked that they not tell me my weight, only if I were up or down. I gave up looking at my weight at 300lbs. I could barely handle walking, but I did, starting with 15 minutes every day and gradually increasing. Two years later, I was confident enough to join a gym. 

It came off gradually. When my pant size dropped below 40" I allowed Weight Watchers to mark my chart. 

I have been on this journey for over 12 years. I just crossed the 200lb border and I am 198. I am wearing a size 32 pant. Unfortunately, the damage is done and I will be likely insulin dependent for the rest of my life. 

The upside: I can literally run. I do the eliptical trainer 3-4 times a week for a solid hour. I lift weights and the wife and I go for these marathon walks. I wear a FITBIT and try to record 10000 steps a day (not always successful). Sex is an even better side effect. I did not realize how badly my weight effected my sex life. It literally robbed me of 2 inches. It also robbed me of stamina. In short, in our 60's the sex life of our 20's has returned. I have given her a new man.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Tatsuhiko said:


> Buying a scale and writing down numbers doesn't accomplish anything. Keeping your weight within an acceptable range by periodically dieting works just fine. And it's not just water that's lost, it's fat. No "gimmick" involved.


I offered OP advice based on my experience. We just following our surgeon's instructions. To make a general statement that it "doesn't accomplish anything" is an incorrect generalization. And I never said "just water" is lost. 

For the average person, no, daily weighing is futile because of the normal fluctuations due to water gain and loss. The average person will get discouraged. For a dedicated and persistent person, weekly weighting is ok and even better to do body fat composition with a caliper. But I doubt the average obese person will do that. OP's husband is obese. IMO having structure will help. 

For a person with special needs, daily weighing does help to keep one focused. Knowing that you will see trending up may keep a person from eating that large piece of cake. It works for me. And Mrs Blue. 

Rapid weight loss is associated with loss of water, muscle and fat. If you do a rapid loss, you run the risk of that half the non water weight you lose will be muscle. It is important to do resistance or weight training during any weight loss program. to minimize muscle loss. Losing muscle will also slow your weight loss.

Weight exercises should be part of any normal health program, even for thin people.

Bottom line, don't take advice from anyone here. Listen to your doctor and follow her/him or go to sites such as mayo clinic or web md. Our doctor specialist has Mrs Blue doing daily weight, bp, glucose and temperature to manage her health. It works for us. 

Our PCP doctor (different one) does a full body composition analysis so that we know what we are losing, not just weight. 

My current goal is to lose 10 pounds of fat while keeping muscle mass steady. It is very difficult for my body type (ectomorph) to lose fat and gain muscle at same time.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

You might show him this: Andrew Taylor loses 50 kilos in less than a year by only POTATOES | Daily Mail Online


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

jld said:


> You might show him this: Andrew Taylor loses 50 kilos in less than a year by only POTATOES | Daily Mail Online


Internet fad diets sound good but without a health study by a reputable medical group or university there is always risk. We don't know his muscle mass or how much he lost, or what effect this had on his health. There is a right way and wrong way to lose weight, despite his "extensive research". 

An all potato diet would be of insufficient protein for myself or Mrs Blue, per our doctors and our nutritionist. If he lost much of his muscle mass, then he still would be a skinny fat person.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> Internet fad diets sound good but without a health study by a reputable medical group or university there is always risk. We don't know his muscle mass or how much he lost, or what effect this had on his health. There is a right way and wrong way to lose weight, despite his "extensive research".
> 
> An all potato diet would be of insufficient protein for myself or Mrs Blue, per our doctors and our nutritionist. If he lost much of his muscle mass, then he still would be a skinny fat person.


He videographed the year he spent on potatoes on you tube, including his visits with his doctor and his test results. His health got better and better as he followed the all potato diet.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

jld said:


> He videographed the year he spent on potatoes on you tube, including his visits with his doctor and his test results. His health got better and better as he followed the all potato diet.


There is nothing in that article that says his health was "better". He mentioned only weight and a few things that are weight related that most always improved when weight is shed. There was no comments from any doctors or any experts, which are normal for that type of article. Why is that?

Here is a better review of that guy:

Can you survive eating nothing but potatoes?

This link includes comments from a college lecturer on human nutrition. Unlike eggs and a few other foods, potatoes are not a complete food. They lack some of the essential amino acids, vitamins and minerals. 

It is a very poor diet for a guy in his 30s. OPs H is in his 50s where diet is much more critical.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I do not profess to be anyone who understands diet. I go to my Weight Watcher meetings, and we discuss our relationship with food, and how to avoid pitfalls, and taking into account everything that goes into your body. I find it sensible, in that there are no specialty foods, and you are learning nutrition and portion control. There is room for little extras, as you learn to incorporate just about everything into your diet. 

I have re-learned to eat. I still will have my burger or my pizza, but I will have one, without the cheese and bacon, not 2 with fries. I will have a slice of pizza, not the whole pie. I learned to eat when I am hungry, not sad, not depressed, not lonely and not for any other reason other than to feed my body.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> There is nothing in that article that says his health was "better". He mentioned only weight and a few things that are weight related that most always improved when weight is shed. There was no comments from any doctors or any experts, which are normal for that type of article. Why is that?
> 
> Here is a better review of that guy:
> 
> ...


Did you read the article?

_"The diet had improved his cholesterol, blood pressure, weight and mental health."_

Before the diet, he was a food addict. He was on antidepressants. A few months into the diet he was off them. Now he feels empowered not only physically, but mentally.

That article you linked was written by someone after Taylor had only been on the diet for a month. That author was speculating. None of what he or she predicted came true. Andrew Taylor finished the year healthier and happier than he started it. 

And he has inspired others to give it a try, including one woman who thought she was just going to be obese all her life: https://www.eatspuds.com/journal/. She is five months into the diet and has lost 55 pounds, all from eating just potatoes.

But her changes have not just been in her weight. Her state of mind is much better, too: _"The satiety of the potato is amazing. I am full, I have no cravings, I eat when I am hungry and I eat until I am full. I am not grouchy, in fact it's the opposite. I have such a general sense of well-being it is amazing. I no longer suffer from depression. I am no longer tempted by foods of any kind. I have tons of energy."_

If Andrew Taylor can emerge healthier and happier after a year on potatoes, then other people, like peacem's husband, may want to consider this very inexpensive option, too.

Oh, and about the reaction of other doctors . . . Andrew Taylor was a guest speaker a few weeks ago at a conference of plant-based nutrition in CA that included several physicians and researchers, including one from the NIH. One of the doctors there, John McDougall, defended Taylor on the show _The Doctors,_ where he predicted, nearly a year ago, that _"Andrew will be just fine on the potato diet."_ And he was right.

Peacem, good luck to you and your husband, whatever you decide to do. Losing weight and keeping it off is not easy. But it is certainly a worthy goal.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Well done to MattMatt and Taxman!
OP unfortunately I think nothing you say to him will convince him to maintain a healthier way of life.
I know this, because I am also obese. 
I am a horrible sugar addict and have never really tried with any diet I have started, and I am now 32 with two very small children.
Recently my husband started working out again (first time since before our eldest was born 2 years ago) and eating better. Literally the same week he did this I had been seriously thinking about how my health effects us as a family and how I want to be around to see my potential grand kids one day. So I made the firm decision that I have to act now or I would likely never bother.
Three weeks ago I ditched bread (mostly- went from 2 loaves a week to only a couple of slices) and no extra sugars, having smaller portions and letting myself go to bed slightly hungry.
The first couple of weeks I have seen a weight loss of 3kgs, but this week I haven't lost any. I had a very small piece of cake last night for my MIL birthday, and other than that have been extremely proud of myself for not giving in to that obese voice in my head demanding to eat the packet of chocolate I know my daughter has in the pantry.
But as soon as I saw that my numbers have not decreased this week, my immediate inner-self said "eat the damned chocolate, it makes no difference anyway might as well be fat forever." This scared me. 
I say this to highlight the mentality behind being large- if we can just get our brains around it, and fight those demons we can win.
But it has to be on his terms. All you can do is try to encourage him, but ultimately it has to be his decision to stick with it.
Good luck


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> It is a very poor diet for a guy in his 30s. OPs H is in his 50s where diet is much more critical.


Just to be clear - he is 44 and moderately obese. If you saw him you wouldn't particularly think he was that big, he looks kind of 'normal' with a bit of a belly. It shocked him when he was told he was technically obese and really tried hard to lose it - and did so quite easily. 

The problem is - it _always_ goes back on again, plus a bit more. What worries me is that in say 10 years time will he look like his older brother who is a super sized obese man, most definitely in the morbid range. His brother has joint problems and depression but other than that 'healthy'. He also has a friend who is morbidly obese and has no health problems other than shortness of breath. I think he gets a bit complacent. 

As for daily weighing - I think that is an individual preference. I weigh myself everyday, I have scales at the end of the bed and every morning when my system is empty I get on. If I have lost a pound it spurs me on to lose another, if I have gained a pound or still the same it makes me work harder. My H does not like the scales and prefers to measure his waist - he gets a thrill from putting an extra hole in his belt.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

So I got him back on the cross trainer last night, he was on it for about 20 minutes but came off drenched in sweat and panting hard. He prefers to go at it hard for shorter periods than be on it for an hour. 

We talked about the junk that's crept back into the cupboard and have agreed once its gone then no more - the house is a junk free zone. If I see any I will put it in a bag to donate to a food bank. 

We talked about what we eat as a family and the good news is I think we are healthy eaters (aside snacks). We are vegetarian and love salad and get through a tonne of fruit every week. We don't be ready meals and everything is cooked from scratch. We occasionally eat out - like maybe once a month.

The problem is - he works in an environment where he is surrounded by junk food outlets. So although he takes his lunch and snacks to work, he passes a pizza takeaway in the afternoon he gets tempted....

There are also childhood issues where his mother was a feeder. She was a lousy mother and homemaker, but she liked baking and cooking, that was her way of being a good parent (when she had no parenting skills).


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Peri-menopause did a number on my weight so until the hormones evened out we kept all treats out of the house. When I wanted a dessert we would go to a restaurant and share a serving. It really helps to not have it in the house. Also, candied ginger is something you can keep around as one can only eat 1 or 2 pieces before you think 'enough of that'.
> 
> Your husband's thinking he'll always be overweight reminds me of when I rolled out the plan to have the mortgage paid off before husband was fifty. He said he'd figured he would always have a mortgage. Not on my watch. I didn't want us to have to worry about a mortgage should a job loss occur. You need to reset his expectation.


Yes, that works in my house too.

No sweets, no cookies, no chips = no temptation.

Cut back on sugar in coffee. 

Avoid sitting down...keep moving, keep busy.

If you pig out one day...starve yourself the next.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Peacem, can you give us an idea of what would be a typical day's eating for your family, including snacks? We might be able to suggest some less fattening foods.

Or do you think the issue is more mental than physical? That food is feeding more than just his body, that he eats for entertainment as well?

Our family is vegetarian, too, btw.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

jld said:


> Peacem, can you give us an idea of what would be a typical day's eating for your family, including snacks? We might be able to suggest some less fattening foods.
> 
> Or do you think the issue is more mental than physical? That food is feeding more than just his body, that he eats for entertainment as well?
> 
> Our family is vegetarian, too, btw.


Cereal and toast for breakfast (Branflakes, granola, semi skimmed milk, wholemeal seeded bread, real butter) 

Cereal bars and fruit for mid-morning snacks, my daughter (who is slim) sometimes takes crisps (chips)

Lunch H - Sandwiches (4 slices of bread, usually cheese and spinach with pickle), yoghurt and fruit
I tend to eat any left overs or I make my own soup from veggies and cream (I am SAHM). My daughter likes couscous salad and buys a snack at college.

(Afternoon is when he tends to raid the bakery or fast food joints). I have a weakness for cheese and biscuits in an afternoon :|

Evening meals; 
Homemade veggie burgers (kidney beans) with sweet potato wedges and salad, plus dressings
Lentil hotpot with veggies
Bean chilli with rice
Home made pizza with salad/dressing (topping is mainly peppers and tomatoes with mozzarella) 
Curry with chickpeas and brown rice (veggies in the curry)
Lentil bolognese with pasta topped with a bit of cheese
butterbean lasagna with veggies
falafals with salad and wraps (potato wedges)
omelettes (eggs, cheddar cheese, brie, peppers, onions), salad and potato wedges

(We only cook with olive oil and all pasta and rice are brown)

We rarely eat dessert but later in the evening we may have a small bar of chocolate each whilst watching tv. Sometimes a small bag of crisps (chips) - we do buy the low calorie puff and wind type. H likes dark, dark chocolate (yuk)

I drink tea like its going out of fashion but NO sugar and just splash of semi skimmed milk. H only drinks water. Daughter drinks fresh juices and smoothies. 

We share a bottle of wine at the weekend (Fri/Sat), H likes whisky, and 1 bottle of beer a week


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

peacem said:


> Cereal and toast for breakfast (Branflakes, granola, semi skimmed milk, wholemeal seeded bread, real butter)
> 
> Cereal bars and fruit for mid-morning snacks, my daughter (who is slim) sometimes takes crisps (chips)
> 
> ...


Looks very tasty!

What do you think about cutting back on the dairy and processed foods? Maybe serve oatmeal for breakfast as opposed to toast, for example? Substituting baked chickpeas for the chips? 

Would your husband be willing to take leftovers from dinner the night before instead of eating sandwiches? 

Flour products are more easily absorbed than whole, unprocessed foods, so he is likely to be getting more calories than if he would eat a rice and vegetable dish, for example.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

jld said:


> Looks very tasty!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Kylie84 said:


> Well done to MattMatt and Taxman!
> OP unfortunately I think nothing you say to him will convince him to maintain a healthier way of life.
> I know this, because I am also obese.
> I am a horrible sugar addict and have never really tried with any diet I have started, and I am now 32 with two very small children.
> ...


Hi Peace,
just thought I'd poke my head back into this thread to see how your family are going and how your husband is going, did you guys stick to a better healthier meal plan for him?
Last time I wrote I had just (finally!) got onto eating much better for myself and had lost 3kg. I am very excited to say it's been 5.5 months since then and i have lost a little over 30kg! (67 pounds). I am still pushing for more loss, my aim is to lose another 12kgs and i will be happy to maintain that loss.
What I ended up doing was cutting bread consumption to one piece per day instead of around 6+. Cut sugar from my coffee, as well as significantly reducing treats, meal portion sizes and started walking every day. Slowly swapped out dinner leftovers etc for healthy beef/chicken vegie soups and started eating more oily fish.
It helps that I have two very young girls that add to my load when I go walking as I push them up and down the hills in their heavy double pram as well as drag the dog along with us, I just make sure I sweat and I am happy 
Anyway, hope things have improved


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I have taken a slightly different approach. Be more active. I average 12k steps a day on the Fitbit, and probably 50-70 miles a week cycling. 

This weekend is the pits. 23k steps moving DD2 into her Trump Towers college apartment. Tomorrow I'm driving DD1 back to her college town, with several hundred pounds worth of food and supplies that has to be carried 3 floors up without an elevator. It wouldn't be too bad but I'm 57. Does it work? Yes.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

john117 said:


> I have taken a slightly different approach. Be more active. I average 12k steps a day on the Fitbit, and probably 50-70 miles a week cycling.
> 
> This weekend is the pits. 23k steps moving DD2 into her Trump Towers college apartment. Tomorrow I'm driving DD1 back to her college town, with several hundred pounds worth of food and supplies that has to be carried 3 floors up without an elevator. It wouldn't be too bad but I'm 57. Does it work? Yes.


I made a deal with a local sports store and bought a hundred Fitbit bracelets and had a raffle in the gym.I kept one for my gf and she has been wearing it since June.Forty four thousand steps is her daily average and she swims every day without the Fitbit.Now I know why she can seem to eat all day and not gain an ounce of weight.She literally never stands still.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

*Recomend books by Dr. Michael Mosley*

I'm a fan of books by Dr Michael Mosley. He has spent most of career making quality scientific documentaries for the BBC. Although not deemed to be overweight, he was diagnosed in his early 50s with type 2 diabetes so he started looking at all the latest research on healthy living. What he found was strong evidence which contradicted the effectiveness of low fat diets and showed that diabetes type 2 disaster was a consequence of that. He wrote a best selling book called the fast diet (5:2). Probably the word Fasting might put off a lot of people but it's not that difficult when you try it. It's not a book about a diet but more about a healthy attitude to food, backed up with plenty of readable research and busting many of the fad dieting myths. I think this one is well worth reading especially if you are overweight and over 40 although anyone would befefit from reading it: www.amazon.co.uk/8-week-Blood-Sugar...qid=1502699127&sr=8-3&keywords=michael+mosley


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

,


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

44k steps in a day... Ouch. I did a week of 30k a day on vacation in Washington DC this March and it was the Bataan march for me. 

You can't diet your way to lower weight. And a fitness tracker works wonders.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

john117 said:


> 44k steps in a day... Ouch. I did a week of 30k a day on vacation in Washington DC this March and it was the Bataan march for me.
> 
> You can't diet your way to lower weight. And a fitness tracker works wonders.


We go walking in the woods every day but since she had the baby it's not speed walking.She now runs around the woods and I stroll with the baby in her buggy.My neighbors seeing eye dog runs with her,(The turncoat)and they run about eight miles every morning and I walk about two.She eats about six or seven small meals every day whereas I like a big feed at lunchtime and a big dinner.There is not an ounce of fat on her and she has had two children.


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## stiiky (Jul 29, 2017)

Ultimately, the decision to lose weight or eat a certain way must be up to your husband. You can’t force him to do anything. He’s the one that needs to make that decision. Usually, people don’t start thinking about getting healthy until there’s something wrong. Right now it sounds like he hasn’t found his reason to get on the bandwagon with you. He needs to find his why. Why does he want to get healthy? You can try to convince all you want, but nothing is going to happen until he figures out why he wants to do it.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I literally spent most of my life in denial over my weight. I have been obese for most of my life. Child of two overweight parents. Every doctor I saw, the same story: get it off before it kills you. I fluffed them off. After all, when I was in high school, I was on the football team and the wrestling team. My weight was a premium. Unfortunately, after high school, I kept up the diet of someone who was going out and working it off. On top of it all, I smoked like a chimney and I became an accountant. The triumvirate: Fat, sedentary and a smoker.

I had my first heart attack at 40. You read that right. Four weeks to the day after my 40th, I awoke to "weird" feelings in my neck and arm. My wife got me to the ER. One month and an angioplasty and fine. Too bad I did not learn one iota. Five years later, I am at work, on a Sunday. Those same weird feelings return. Called 911, and was straight back to ICU. They did another angioplasty, this time I reacted to the blood thinners, spent 3-4 days in a coma. Cigarettes and I were done. The rest?????

I lost a lot, no immune system. Could not work. Two years of coming back, and then my mom dies of a weight related incident. A bowel infarction, (heart attack/stroke in the bowel). I started Weight watchers, that was 2004. I asked that they not tell me my weight. Struggled for nearly a decade until I got a good internist who identified that my diabetes was way out of control. Got me on insulin, my weight made me an insulin dependent type 2 diabetic. Yay. However, it worked. 

At my highest, I was 325. At my last internist appointment I hit 195lbs. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. The wife and I enjoy a lot more sexually, as you really do work better in bed when you are not dragging around the extra pounds. You will never believe the freedom of a more fit body. The difference is like night and day.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

john117 said:


> You can't diet your way to lower weight.


Nonsense. Weight loss is nothing more than taking in less calories than you burn.

I lost 60 lbs. just eating better and I've kept it off for 4 years so far. No cardio.

I'd argue lifting weights is a far more beneficial exercise strategy than cardio for dieters. 

The more muscle mass you have, the higher your minimum daily caloric intake level.

Which allows you to eat more food daily while maintaining your ideal weight level.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Taxman said:


> You will never believe the freedom of a more fit body. The difference is like night and day.


People just treat you better too. Women flirt more, men are more sociable. I was treated far better even by strangers after my weight loss.

There is definitely an unconscious bias towards fat people. Call it unfair if you want but anyone can take advantage of it if they have a healthy bmi.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

The thing that I have noticed is that I am being noticed. I always had a gut, and no matter how well I dressed, it just looked sloppy. One of my "things" during my weight loss, was reduction of my gut. (I have a target date next year to have a six-pack). My shape has changed radically and now i am that classic inverted V. Now, I am a happily married guy. I have been with only one woman for 40 years. I would not say that my radar is no longer working, however, the cues that I noticed when I was younger and single just aren't there. (If you do not use it you lose it). I have, however, started noticing that when I smile at random women, I get the "look" (my wife says I am being checked out) and a smile back. I am not in the least interested, however, it does my ego a world of good seeing that women are noticing. My wife has noticed others taking it in, so to speak, and has taken to randomly kissing in public. Here I thought that impromptu make out sessions were just her libido kicking in at odd times, turns out she is just marking her territory.

...I'm territory...


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

The obese person:
A. has to want to change. External motivation will not suffice, though it may help trigger an epiphany.
B. must see a believable route to the goal
C. must make sustainable changes if the change is to be permanent.

There is plenty of external motivation out there. B and C are harder because we are awash in misinformation, pseudoscience and cynicism. Collectively, we are told that almost everything is unhealthy, and that almost all remedies are fleeting and futile. 

My own insight from my personal journey (to ~56% of the former me) is that for certain people, including many who are not naturally thin, the carb/insulin theory has merit, however it's packaged (Banting, Atkins, Stillman, Ketogenic, South Beach, Protein Power, Paleo, Primal, Whole30, etc etc etc). *We just eat too many damn carbs*--because agribusiness, because politics, because convenience, because ideology, because a whole lot of things. 

If you've spent your life main-lining bread, pasta, soda, and other bulk starches and sugars, and you are now fat and pre-diabetic, give serious consideration to a radical change. To wit: drop your carb intake to 100, 75, 50, 25g per day and embrace dietary fat (yep: butter, eggs, lard, etc) as an energy source. Yeah, I know. Set aside the arguments with yourself & others about how horribly unhealthy and futile it is. Just bloody try it for 30 days and see what happens and how you feel. Refine the approach (& add exercise) later. 

It is easier to control WHAT you eat than how much. And if what you eat has a direct effect on your appetite, then it determines the role of hunger in your daily life. If hunger is seen as an evil to be resisted at every turn, then you are taking on a most powerful enemy and are unlikely to prevail. The willpower approach (aka "JUST eat less!" is not sustainable for most current overeaters. It's not a helpful message; it's a virtue-signaling value judgment that lets non-obese people feel morally superior. 

How much better if hunger could work for you, much like thirst, or the need for oxygen? No one ever suggests breathing less, or drinking less water. "Eat less?" How about, "eat less crap"? The problem is in defining "crap": We relentlessly demonize fat and red meat and cholesterol, with the help of much media misinterpretation of the flawed retrospective epidemiology that passes for nutritional science. 

Yet those three things are literally what you are made of. Saturated fat is how we store energy. It is indistinguishable in the bloodstream from dietary fat. And cholesterol is a vital biochemical building block present in every cell (precursor to sex hormones, BTW). Somehow, we've come to accept that these things are toxic when consumed. This should make far less intuitive sense than it does--which shows how powerful and unconscious our _eat-your-wheaties_ anti-fat messaging has become: it's the water our mental fish swim in. 

However you do it, breaking free of the cycle of 
*sugar overload > hyperinsulin response > fat storage & blood sugar crash > hungry & sleepy again...and I just had lunch!* 
is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself...
...because you won't be hungry all the damn time, making it far easier to "just eat less."
...because you'll start consuming your own body fat reserves instead of storing more
...because to get here you'll have to break free of most of society's hectoring SHOULDs (see above), which means you'll feel a profound sense of control and autonomy. 

Good luck.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Oh Phil, you said a mouthful. I cannot agree more, we here in North America are carbohydrate junkies. We do not get the correlation between starch/sugar--->fat storage. Diabetes is an eye opener. Type 2 is rampant throughout the western world. I learned to eat carbs, first as comfort food, potatoes, bread and candies (my mother was a "buyer" for a national department store-consumables division-Xmas around my house involved literal crates of foods and chocolate, all sent in by the good folks who wanted my mom to buy), then a requirement before football games and wrestling matches (damn, just a few years before, they were making us eat protein). Unfortunately, the eating pattern took years to re-learn. These days, I limit my carbs fairly severely. My body still craves the crap, but I use an old Weight Watcher's expression to destroy the craving: 

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS. Damn right!


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Just an update......drum roll....

I have lost 1stone (14lbs) and now just 4lbs from being "healthy"
H has lost 3 stone (42lbs) and in the moderately overweight bmi

It has become just normal for us inasmuch as we don't even realise we are trying to lose weight. A sedentary day involves cross trainer. We are tracking everything on myfitnesspal which is pretty habitual. Slowly, slowly he is dropping jean sizes and putting new notches in his belts. 

The biggest thing for me was realising that I was eating a whole meal just from snacking. Those calories just add up. By not eating between meals I can have 3 filling portions and still lose weight. I now shun sugar completely and have lost my sugary tooth - no interest. H still loves his food but has been religiously exercising. 

We decided this is how we are going to live our lives forever, not dieting but being mindful of what we put in and how much we exercise we do. It is very slow, but the scales do eventually drop. I have learned patience.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> Nonsense. Weight loss is nothing more than taking in less calories than you burn.
> 
> I lost 60 lbs. just eating better and I've kept it off for 4 years so far. No cardio.
> 
> ...


Depends what you were eating before and after, and starting weight vs target weight. I started around 200-205, target 160, dropped to 170 by lots of cycling, now back to 180. I eat reasonably healthy but not twigs and kale.

My wife is 125, starves herself, 3 hours walk or cycling a day, still 125. Same age. 

If I had her peace of mind and slept 8 or 9 hours a day I'd be a twig too...


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

My trick is to cut out all processed food. Basically if it doesn't walk, crawl, swim, fly, grow on a tree or in the ground I don't eat it! 

(Except for the occasional slice of pizza.)


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

john117 said:


> Depends what you were eating before and after, and starting weight vs target weight. I started around 200-205, target 160, dropped to 170 by lots of cycling, now back to 180. I eat reasonably healthy but not twigs and kale.
> 
> My wife is 125, starves herself, 3 hours walk or cycling a day, still 125. Same age.
> 
> If I had her peace of mind and slept 8 or 9 hours a day I'd be a twig too...


Your height?


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Remember, weight will plateau. There will be times when the body is getting a better shape but the scale maintains the same reading. We address a lot of this in Weight Watchers. (Given that they have been keeping statistics on their members' progress since the 60's). The thing that I got used to fairly quickly is that I was replacing fat with muscle. Muscle weighs a lot more than fat, and the body will shrink while the weight stays the same.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

177 cm or 5 ft 9.5 in. Medium build.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> Nonsense. Weight loss is nothing more than taking in less calories than you burn.
> 
> I lost 60 lbs. just eating better and I've kept it off for 4 years so far. No cardio.
> 
> ...


Yup, at its very basic level the formula for weight loss: Calories Consumed < Calories Burned

Too many people try to over complicate it (which to an extent makes sense since it is a big money industry ...)


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> My trick is to cut out all processed food. Basically if it doesn't walk, crawl, swim, fly, grow on a tree or in the ground I don't eat it!
> 
> (Except for the occasional slice of pizza.)


No chocolate?:surprise: Girl, you are an embarrassment to your sex.:grin2:


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Here's the thing...

I can go out today and run 8-10 miles in the park and burn off a thousand calories...easily.

Then I can stop on the way home and get a bag of nuts and wash it down with a well deserved milk shake....

Guess what? I probably put on weight....even given the [all day] kick up in metabolism. 

You can exercise all you want and not lose a pound if you also do not manage your calories.

Dagnabbit!

Just Sayin'


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Some dietary adjustment is needed obviously but not starvation or milkshake meals. It also depends on age. As you get older diet could be a lot less effective than when younger.


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