# Wife no libido; have the keys but won't turn over!



## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Ok, I'll give you the rundown. 

she's 25

Doesn't work

self conscious (but has recently lost a lot of weight) but don't put too much emphasis on that as a problem.

2 kids

Had tubal ligation

She wants to, want to

no medication

she is a freak when she drinks (makes me think it's a psychological problem)

started having problems after 2nd kid/tubal in Aug 2006

I am 27 and pretty attractive

I am a nice but confident guy

I don't take any **** or bull**** excuses (she hates the fact I don't take crappy excuses)

I tell her frequently how attractive she is

I make special time for us without kids

I help around the house

I try to keep sex new, interesting, and fun

I try to keep well groomed

I want to have sex 1-4 times a day, I know thats a lot.

I did all the crap they say will turn your wife on before I even knew what they were!

Last night feeling guilty she said she wanted to have sex. So I started kissing her and fooling around with her, and she started getting irritated because she didn't want to kiss she just wanted to get it over with, and today she said it was like a chore. Which is funny because I make her climax so hard I have to close the window so she doesn't wake the neighbors, and I live in a rural area. Her orgasm's are so strong it makes me jealous lol. Once we get into it she is glad we did, but otherwise I'm SOL. I know its her but whatever it is I need to get her over it because I'm feeling very bad about it. She is very loving and affectionate towards me and I know shes not cheating as I am unemployed right now. Shes starting to turn into a prude when I talk about some of the things I would like to try, and its not like poop fetishes or other girls, nothing like that. She has no clue what turns her on. It's either psychological or hormones. Possible side effects from tubal there are about 50, and she has 25 or so.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

How much are you getting it now... if your goal is 1-4 times a day?


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

I get laid out of guilt about 3-4 times a week. It is not satisfying knowing this though as it only satisfies me physically. I would rather be desired and get it half as much. It was once a week until I made it an issue and she realized how much it hurt me.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

my stock answer is....women are complicated

pity or chore sex is useless to me, she can keep it


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

She is sure young to have no sex drive. When I was that age 1-4 times a day was good for me. Now that I'm 50 and in full blown menapause I don't care about sex at all but thats due to my situation ( and my husband is OK with it because he's 50 too
and we did not marry for sex or build a relationship upon it)
At her age, she should not be like that ( in my opinion)....


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

A Ferrari is complicated, women are more like a casserole; there's a bunch of stuff in there that you wouldn't eat by itself and for some reason after its hot it is strangely satisfying. Every casserole is different and deciphering the recipes seems impossible.

Other than that we have an awesome relationship and talk about everything. It will be 10 years in Oct.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Maybe you dont have the key to her car then...


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

I guess I better go find my car then. 

Or get a slim jim and hot wire her!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

A man with a good paying job and presents for wife are definatly good for a womans libido. Nothing worse than a guy with no job or money coming in to buy me things and take me places and I speak from experience. After you start working things may improve drastically as she could be depressed about finances.


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

I make more now than I did before. Besides she likes to spend some the extra money on the kids and save the rest. Although I do buy little things now and again. She isn't superficial in any sense of the word.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

goatz said:


> She is very loving and affectionate towards me and I know shes not cheating as I am unemployed right now. .



thats good you are working now


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Ok I knocked it out of the park last night. I thought she might be having a seizure but it turned out she was climaxing. She woke up this morning and said she didn't feel like not having sex, but she didn't feel like it right now, and that she wanted to do it again tonight. Now I am really confused.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Are you coming onto her sexually 1-4 times a day?

If so, that would get old for me. My sex drive has never been THAT high. Sometime, when you are the one being chased it gets old. Think about, if you went on a date and that person keep calling, texting, stalking you. You get the attitude of being annoyed. 

I am not saying you are doing that...just an observation from my world.


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Corpuswife said:


> Are you coming onto her sexually 1-4 times a day?
> 
> If so, that would get old for me. My sex drive has never been THAT high. Sometime, when you are the one being chased it gets old. Think about, if you went on a date and that person keep calling, texting, stalking you. You get the attitude of being annoyed.


I don't come on to her more than twice a day, but I see your point and it may be part of the problem. Even when I gave up for a while she seemed to be fine with it, and didn't make many moves.

She may have a cyst or something because she has some of the symptoms and that may be part of the prob. Anyone have any experience with female probs that might cause this. She has a family history of this sort of thing.


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

goatz said:


> she's 25
> 
> *self conscious* (but has recently lost a lot of weight) but don't put too much emphasis on that as a problem.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't overlook the self conscious thing at all. Especially considering these other points. This sounds a lot like my wife.....

Basically, the self-consciousness really will make them not want to because of there own image problems, etc. But once you get them "into" it, a lot of times they stop thinking about it, and enjoy it.

The thing about when she's drunk is true with my wife too. The alcohol lowers her inhibitions, and basically, she just doesn't worry about the crap she normally would. And she admits this. And then it can be a little freaky and just GREAT!

When you come on to her, it just reminds her of that image problem. Sometimes, just touching a part of her body that she's self conscious about will immediately turn her off, right then and there. 

Just something to think about.


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Your right. She has been losing weight but she thinks she needs to be ultra thin, the gross kind. I will just keep telling her how attractive she is, and I may eventually break down these barriers.

Thanks!


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