# Wife with another man ?



## Kevmo008 (Aug 17, 2013)

I have been married for 25 years, me and my wife have fantasized about another man on the odd occasion when we were drunk or high she does it reluctantly and has never show a desire.

I know my wife would enjoy a man with a bigger penis, I know all women don't but when she has had a big dildo she went quite wild it was 8" and about 6" thick. She also is quite loose after 3 large children. We have a great sex life and she orgasms form sex without any help. I am only just bigger than 5" and about maybe 4" thick. I had a friend who she liked that was at least 8" and I have always thought she would love it.

I am not jealous because I have a lot of confidence and if she had sex with him and did enjoy it as long as we can have the same relationship I would let her. Because she has never desired this I think she could do it have a great time just for the sex but never do it again and we could share the experience

If this happened it would re confirm my love for her since sex is so personal, that if she went as wild as I think she would and still love me that would prove the a relationship is stronger the great sex.

I think she would love doing this standing up against a cupboard and I know my friend has done many wife's and has them coming back for more. He obviously loves it because he is giving these women something. He has a great personality and is handsome and well endowed, hois penis looks great I would love to have what he has. Should I push to make this happen?


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## Kevmo008 (Aug 17, 2013)

Change poll to

Yes 
No


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

This needs to be moved to the sex forum please.


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

I'm.Constantly.amazed.there.are.People.who.think.like.this.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

No.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

When I was a boy I once read a quotation about three things that never comes back.
1) The spoken word.
2) The wasted opportunity.
3) The spent arrow.

The fantasy of another man having sex with your wife , or a threesome in any form seem to be a powerful one for some men / women.

But this fantasy is like an arrow. Whilst it is engaged in the bow and the hands of the archer , it is full of potential. Once released , even the most skillful archer cannot control its final destination.

Logically speaking , this is your first attempt , your wife seems a bit hesitant , you are not a skilled marksman ,
And even the most skilled marksmen , miss the target sometimes.

You don't gamble what you cannot afford to loose.


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## Kevmo008 (Aug 17, 2013)

I understand your comments, but I want my wife to enjoy something I believe she will, this is not for me to get off. I want to see if she enjoys it and then comes back to me that is more powerful. As we are all caught up in sex someway or another. 

The only reason I believe she doesn't do it is because she is scared to heart me but wants to deep down. I have see this, therefore I want her to experience the best in life. She hasn't ever had a person that is big and enjoyed it. If she knows she would and I know, what's the harm in letting her I believe she will come back to me as I don't believe this is the most important thing in a women's life and I know it isn't my wife's.

When you compare what she has and enjoys very much we have had great sex, I work at it, but any time we have fantasized about a bigger person, she really gets horny and wet, an she can go very wild. I cant take her there any more. She wont admit it but I can feel and sense it.

I love her and want to give her something, this is not for me nor do I want a another women.

I need an honest answer as we have a very good marriage, am I crazy or if this works will this even enhance our relationship even more.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Why would you take such a risk with your marriage? 

If my partner gave me the OK to have sex with another man I would feel like he no longer truly loved me.

IMO it is madness to go there. Sex binds a couple emotionally and physically, to open the door even a little bit to another man you will be risking your wife wanting him again and again and then forming a bond with him.


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## Spinner (Jul 26, 2013)

This is a horrible can of worms to open. If you just want to give her a bigger penis, use a strap on or a silicone cover. They have all sorts of gadgets these days; do some shopping.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

crazy....crazy.....crazy.....

did I say crazy.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I'm sure my girlfriend would love a guy with a six-pack, and totally get off on that.

But I'm not going to tell her to f*ck a random guy at the gym.

Your wife orgasms from you, she loves you, she doesn't want to hurt you. Stop being so freaking insecure about your pecker size. You are borderline disturbed with the way you talk about your "friend".


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Kevmo008 said:


> I love her and want to give her something, this is not for me nor do I want a another women.
> 
> I need an honest answer as we have a very good marriage, am I crazy or if this works will this even enhance our relationship even more.


I understand what you are saying, and you do sound genuine.

But you need first to understand a few things.
1] You are speaking from a position of male insecurity. There are many men with similar problems like you , but they tend to handle it differently. Those who have chosen your path always end in disaster because they were _ insecure._ You think your marriage is secure , but your insecurity over you ability to fulfil your perception of your wife's psychosexual needs will eventually ruin it.

2]You say you " love her and want to give her something." 
She loves you, even if your penis is small. She's married you and has been faithful to you for all of these years. Yes, she loves your penis , and the man attached to it too. She enjoys pleasuring herself, and talking about these fantasies in front of you because she's comfortable with you!

3]For some people sex is just an act. You need to decide for yourself what sex between you and your wife means to you.
You must decide if she is just a toy that you can lend to another man , like the old worn out playboy magazine you and your buddies used to share for fun when you were kids.
If she means more than that to you , then why do you want to share the most intimate aspect , her body with another man?

4] Not all fantasies are meant to be enjoyed in real life. If they were , then obviously they would no longer be fantasy.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with having the fantasy, but it is way too risky to make it reality.
You cannot control the consequences. Its like playing Russian Roulette, very thrilling and exciting, but you never know when the bullet would come flying out of the chamber , and in a flash , your life would be gone.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

To add on ...

The vagina is essentially a muscle that learns to relax itself. It also learns to tighten back up, otherwise a tampon would simply fall out. This is not a sign that she needs something bigger to get off. Hell a well placed finger can do it!

Pushing this issue with a reluctant wife is a recipe for disaster...


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I cant see how it would work to give her a bigger penis experience and know she enjoyed it - then what is going through your mind the next time you are penetrating her? She is thinking about that bigger penis? Shes going to want to do it again? Now she will never be satisfied by my size?

I agree with the others - this is a Pandora's Box. Get a toy that is larger. Use it together as a novelty. Some fantasies are better left in the fantasy world.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Going from fantasy and toys into reality is a big step. It's risky, of course. At the very least, it should be thoroughly discussed and both would need to be in complete agreement, set boundaries about how this would/could work, consider jealousies and unexpected and unintended reactions and consequences, etc.

A few percent of people do participate in this sort of thing - threesomes, cuckold fetish, swinging, open relationships, etc. It works for many of them - and fails for many others. The failures are usually those who haven't considered all the factors, especially the possible emotional/jealousy angle. Most just find that it isn't for them and don't continue to pursue it. Others thrive on it.

We've seen the entire spectrum of reactions, but mostly the successes as the failures aren't around long enough to meet. We've discouraged many couples from even trying - usually, one is going along to please the other, rather than both being invested and enthusiastic. This is a recipe for big problems.

Those who both fully agree and understand the rewards and risks usually have a lot of fun with it. We know happy, stable couples who have been active swingers for years and even decades. We have been in polyamorous and open relationships ourselves without any problems or issues, and would characterize our own relationship as one of the best we've ever seen. But we've encountered a few train wrecks - almost all of those involved one person pushing a reluctant partner into something they weren't ready for.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Absolutely not.

You would regret it. She doesn't want it. If you want her to experience a larger penis, then use the dildo on her. My hubby keeps saying something larger.. but I don't want that. I actually want a smaller dildo, because the ones we have hurt.. They are becoming more & more painful to use. He does not realize that, or does not believe me. I want a smaller one.. maybe the size/girth of his thumb, but longer in length than his thumb.

It may sound dumb to some of you men, but I personally for one, do NOT want larger.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Oh.. and using the larger dildos.. seems to be the husbands fantasy too. I think he wants to see larger objects pushed inside me, and pulled out. I don't know if it's the skin stretching that excites him.. or what exactly. I think he likes watching porn with women that put larger objects in their bodies.

Like someone else said. There is a large distinction between fantasy & reality. Once another man is in that room with you and the wife.. And you feel threatened romantically, there really is a very hard line to push back & say, "No, I changed my mind". So, then you go thru with it. Say she likes it. .... here, you watched her enjoying something you can never give her. You will grow to regret it. 

And she will have no clue why you regret having sex with her after that.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Kevmo008 said:


> Should I push to make this happen?


I think you've already decided to push to make it happen and your looking for some assurance that it's not so risky. For most relationships it would complicate things quite a bit.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Looks exciting! Bad idea? Ya think?*


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I keep thinking that when a guy wants to bring men over to screw his wife there is this power thing going through his head. I think he's a border line pimp and she's part of his stable. Then they get the video thing going and he's the director. All in all if she is hesitant about this and is only doing this to please him, then he's just disrespecting her for his own kicks.

Want to give her a real gift? Try respecting her a little more rather than try to turn her in to your own personal porn star. 

I keep waiting to see a thread where a husband wanted his wife with another man who was huge down stairs and after the act was completed, she told him that it was the greatest thing that ever happened to her and from now on he can watch and jack off because he's isn't good enough.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

KevMo, is your "friend" available for matrimony and also holding down a job? My cheating ex wife cherished a big penis to the point that she bore two children with two different guys and doesn't even know either of their names.
What her problem was that she could never find her big a guy who could both service her and feed her and keep a roof over her head.
She even tried to get me to take her back to fulfill the last two "lesser needs".


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

6301 said:


> I keep waiting to see a thread where a husband wanted his wife with another man who was huge down stairs and after the act was completed, she told him that it was the greatest thing that ever happened to her and from now on he can watch and jack off because he's isn't good enough.


There are lots of them right here on TAM!
All you have to do is enter the words in the search engine.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination but these threads on swinging, cuckhold, ect seem to really cheapen the discussion here. I've always seen TAM as a place to discuss marital issues that stick to a "normal" range of problems. When I see some guy post "Wife has a fantasy of having three guys bang her while I watch, should I let her?" I mean come on. There are other sites that cater to that smut.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

Kevmo008: if you could experience a 3 way, with you, your wife, and your hot friend all servicing each other, would you?


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

Your so adamant about f#$%ing up your marriage. So go ahead and let your precious wife that you hold dear screw another man in front of you. Stupid is as stupid does. 

Now you'll have 3 kids, jealousy, suspicion, and feelings of inadequacy to worry about. Might as well throw a hand grenade into the marriage as well.


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## Anuvia (Jul 10, 2013)

Kevmo008 said:


> I have been married for 25 years, me and my wife have fantasized about another man on the odd occasion when we were drunk or high she does it reluctantly and has never show a desire.
> 
> I know my wife would enjoy a man with a bigger penis, I know all women don't but when she has had a big dildo she went quite wild it was 8" and about 6" thick. She also is quite loose after 3 large children. We have a great sex life and she orgasms form sex without any help. I am only just bigger than 5" and about maybe 4" thick. I had a friend who she liked that was at least 8" and I have always thought she would love it.
> 
> ...


Lay off the cuckold porn. You cooked up a fantasy in your head that might be way different than the reality. Are you going to be hiding in the closet jacking off while your wife is with this other man? Will you be "cleaning her up" when she comes home from her encounter? I think this is more about you and the shame/inadequacy that you feel for having a four inch penis.


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## Fleur de Cactus (Apr 6, 2013)

Man , i am 100 /100 sure you want to this for yourself and not your wife. I think your wife said no already , so why you keep pushing !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

Dude, sex with that other man has ZERO to do with the size of his penis. ZERO. It's just the thrill of variety. It works for women too. 

Read this part over to yourself:
The only people obsessed with penis and size are men. You are obsessed with penis and size...not your wife.

Cuckold fantasies are really about feeling not good enough to please your wife.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

NO. 

6 inches thick? You gotta be ****ting me!


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

This isn't the forum you want for this sort of thing. 

My wife has been pushing for me to do other younger women as a fantasy of hers, like you seem to be doing with your wife. I looked at some survey data on this and was quite surprised to see how satisfied people were with marriages that were open like this. Nevertheless, I think I will stick with the wife. Maybe some day. But it seems like too much work to me. 

I would seek out fora that are more specialized towards it. I don't know of any, but I recall posters mentioning them.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Stop disrespecting your old lady while you get off while she screw other guys. 
You know she does it for you and could care aless cuz for now she loves you.

This kind of crap will eat at your old lady and some guy is going to come up to your chick and tell her "if I was your husband I would never share you" and you know what, your wife will run off with this guy in a heart beat leaving you with your penis in your hand and tears in your eyes.

Thats my $0.02...I could be totally wrong..Not!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Wiserforit said:


> This isn't the forum you want for this sort of thing.
> 
> My wife has been pushing for me to do other younger women as a fantasy of hers, like you seem to be doing with your wife. I looked at some survey data on this and was quite surprised to see how satisfied people were with marriages that were open like this. Nevertheless, I think I will stick with the wife. Maybe some day. But it seems like too much work to me.
> 
> I would seek out fora that are more specialized towards it. I don't know of any, but I recall posters mentioning them.


:iagree: it seems like to much work, plus i don't like sharing.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Kevmo008 said:


> I have been married for 25 years, me and my wife have fantasized about another man on the odd occasion when we were drunk or high she does it reluctantly and has never show a desire.
> 
> I know my wife would enjoy a man with a bigger penis, I know all women don't but when she has had a big dildo she went quite wild it was 8" and about 6" thick. She also is quite loose after 3 large children. We have a great sex life and she orgasms form sex without any help. I am only just bigger than 5" and about maybe 4" thick. I had a friend who she liked that was at least 8" and I have always thought she would love it.
> 
> ...


Your relationship could never be the same. Why not just let her go so she could have a guy with a bigger penis all the time who would also never be ok with another man having her. Aloowing another man to have sex with your wife is a display of low value. Low worth. Bad idea.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Kevmo008 said:


> I understand your comments, but I want my wife to enjoy something I believe she will, this is not for me to get off. I want to see if she enjoys it and then comes back to me that is more powerful. As we are all caught up in sex someway or another.
> 
> The only reason I believe she doesn't do it is because she is scared to heart me but wants to deep down. I have see this, therefore I want her to experience the best in life. She hasn't ever had a person that is big and enjoyed it. If she knows she would and I know, what's the harm in letting her I believe she will come back to me as I don't believe this is the most important thing in a women's life and I know it isn't my wife's.
> 
> ...


If you do not think you can give her the best in life then leave her to find a better man. Let her go.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Sanity said:


> I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination but these threads on swinging, cuckhold, ect seem to really cheapen the discussion here. I've always seen TAM as a place to discuss marital issues that stick to a "normal" range of problems. When I see some guy post "Wife has a fantasy of having three guys bang her while I watch, should I let her?" I mean come on. There are other sites that cater to that smut.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly. There are plenty of fetish sites out there. Of course it is a thrill to write about it here I guess for the reaction.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

FemBot said:


> Dude, sex with that other man has ZERO to do with the size of his penis. ZERO. It's just the thrill of variety. It works for women too.
> 
> Read this part over to yourself:
> The only people obsessed with penis and size are men. You are obsessed with penis and size...not your wife.
> ...


Some guys are into humiliation. I do not get this.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Really don't get this. You and her enjoy a satisfying sex life. She is clearly satisfied when the two of you have sex. For some reason, that isn't enough and you think it will make her even happier to have sex with this other guy who is a stud in your opinion. Why don't you make her happy by buying her a nicer car? ... it will be less expensive.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> Some guys are into humiliation. I do not get this.


This is projecting. It is humiliating to some people, sure. But those are generally the people who don't want their wife to have sex with someone else, and don't permit it. It may be a subset that gets off on humiliation but it certainly isn't all of them. 

Others simply enjoy seeing their spouse getting off on something, not really much different than watching them enjoy a great football game or a fat steak. You don't have to participate in something in order to enjoy seeing your spouse being happy.

You aren't being humiliated by your spouse watching football or enjoying that steak. It is only one's own insecurity that would result in feeling humiliated because your spouse has other hobbies or things they enjoy apart from you.

The insecurity involving sex though is pretty understandable. Many wives like mine enjoy watching their husband masturbate and it isn't because they are being humiliated. The ones who feel humiliated are angered by porn and go on these crusades about how bad porn is.

It's actually an exercise in power for my wife to find something that is going to get me off.


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

do it!


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

CM as usual has very sage advice. There's a lot of unkowns as to the outcome of this. It could be great, it could be bad. My much less sophisticated advice would be for you to crank one out and then give it another thought. Make sure you're thinking with the right head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I see Kevmo aint coming back to defend his humiliation fetishes.

Honestly, My first thought, was that he was closet bi & he himself wanted sexual time with this great friend of his.

Not saying it's a bad thing... just saying what seemed like a possibility of what was driving his fantasy.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> If you do not think you can give her the best in life then leave her to find a better man. Let her go.


:iagree:

But I guess the term " _give her the best in life_ " may be relative in Kevmo's mind?


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## g3rryy (Aug 21, 2013)

you should start using a tennis ball can as a marital aid.

Oh, and lay your head down on the train tracks and wait for the 9:15


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

g3rryy said:


> you should start using a tennis ball can as a marital aid.
> 
> Oh, and lay your head down on the train tracks and wait for the 9:15


How would a tennis ball can be a marital aid?


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## dedad (Aug 22, 2013)

I usually say to most things.. say la vive

We only live once and it seems that you just want to see her fulfil a fantasy. Give it a shot and own the outcome whether you like it or not.

Have you tried a sleeve?


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

I stumbled upon this thread and I agree with the posters who oppose this idea. Let me tell you all why. 

Back in the early 1990's I was living with a girlfriend. We had been together for about four years. She was pretty kinky and it was a time in my life when I was living kind of wild, and definitely not following the beliefs I grew up with. Neither of us wanted to get married, and the relationship had grown a bit boring. 

Out of the blue she mentioned the idea of us trading partners with one of her female friends and her boyfriend. I was reluctant but kind of interested. Her girlfriend was good looking, so at the time I was blinded with lust and not really thinking straight. 

Well a couple weeks later we all got together and did the deed. We were all drunk, and seeing another guy doing my girlfriend made me limp as a noodle. I got super pissed, pulled her off the guy, and dragged her kicking and screaming out of there. We fought all the way home and a couple days later she moved out. 

We got back together a month or so later and tried to resume what we had before, but it was ruined. I couldn't have sex with her anymore without thinking of her with that other guy on top of her. She stuck around a couple more weeks and we broke up. 

Thing was, I did not know that I was capable of that kind of jealousy. I never could have predicted that I would have reacted that way, but I did. 

The reason threesomes, swapping and wife sharing are so dangerous is that most husbands don't really know themselves as well as they think they do.

Just don't do it.


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