# Scared and Not sure what to do



## inneedofmajorhelp74 (Sep 22, 2011)

I have been in a relationship for 12 years and have 3 beautiful children. My relationship has always been tough but lately I feel lost and not sure what to do. I am tired of the emotional and verbal abuse and the constant feelings of being watched. I stay in the relationship for my children I think and for the fear that I can not provide for them on my own. 

However to give some insight, firstly we have a realtionship where it is extremely hard to communicate. He will communicate his feelings in harsh mean ways and i am afraid to say what is bothering me because of his harsh reactions. This is a man that feels superior to everyone and anyone and expects everyone to kiss his butt. He has a tendency of speaking to everyone like they are dirt..not just me, and it bothers me as I am a very peaceful person that does not like conflict or fighting. He fights with everyone to the point that he has alienated me from most of my family and I feel so alone. 

Lately, I feel like I am at my wits end..I am depressed and sad and have to keep it all inside. I do not have anyone I feel I can trust to talk to as everyone I know just loves to gossip. We are currently on non speaking terms as he feels sex sucks. I give him sex when he wants but there are certain things i just cant do and he is overly mad at me now. He drinks alot and i feel he is an alcoholic, he is overbearing and constantly calling me throughout the day for no reason which I feel is to check up on me (I have never cheated or given him reason) I am basically at his beck and call and always trying to say and do what he will approve of.He is not physically abusive at all but he still scares me to death and I feel like if I left he would make me miserable and not help. He seems to be immature at 33 and i am 37 and alot more mature and family based. He walks around drinking non stop all day on the weekend and gets very mad when i ask him not to. Someone please give me some advice..there is so much more to this but I do not know what to do from here. I will lose everything and can not afford to give my kids a good life on my own. He is a loving father I will give him that but I also dont feel that he sets good examples. Advice please!!


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