# Daughter in dangerous relationship



## TexasJenny (Jul 2, 2021)

My 20 year old daughter has a psycho boyfriend that she is constantly back and forth with. He’s really the worst, constantly messaging and talking to other girls, doesn’t have a car or even a drivers license. He has 3 kids with 3 different women that don’t even try to attempt to get child support from him because I assume they all know he’s effing nuts and they don’t even want him in their child’s lives. Only one of his kids has he even tried to be in his life and the mom has let him see him a handful of times and always in a public place and not by himself. She won’t even tell him what town they live in, she always just meets him somewhere to let him see his son. So that alone tells you how crazy he is. DD is on the birth control shot and has already said she doesn’t want kids with him but still she stays with him.

Well he does work at the moment so at least there’s that, a decent job doing something with the local pipeline, not exactly sure what but he’s picked up and dropped off everyday from what DD tell me. She started living with him a little over a year ago, against her dad and I’s approval. In the trashiest apartment complex there is. Worse than government housing apartments. Well every time she breaks up with him and wants to come home he’s calling and texting her non stop. She’ll block his number and he’ll call her from someone else’s phone or on other peoples social media accounts. We’ve changed her phone number and he would still continue to call and message her on different social media accounts and then she would end up right back with him. She’s gone to stay with friends out of town and he will threaten US, her family, myself, her dad and her 3 little brothers, ages 12, 3 and 1. AND she will still end up going right back to him. 

There was one time when she broke it off and he came out to our house (we live out in the country) and my husband went outside to tell him to leave and they got into an altercation and he threw a large rock at my husband, (from the passenger side of his friends vehicle and the friend drove off pretty quickly) hitting him in the chest and leaving a large bruise. We called the police and pressed charges against him and literally nothing came of it. Again she went back to him.

Well this last time, a week and a half ago, she said she’s done, really done. She says she found out he was cheating on her when some girl messaged him on Snapchat or something like that and she’s done. Well we’re sick of the drama she brings around our young boys so I told her to go stay with family about 3 hours away so he wouldn’t even know where she was. She agrees. She was working but she called and talked to her manager, telling her what was going on and they told her they would put her on leave and put a transfer in for her to transfer to a location where family live, she’s so happy, everything seems to be falling into place, this is fate, it seems. One door opening after another! She has blocked his number and all social media accounts of his. Well he still continues to call her from other peoples phones and from other social media accounts and from fake call apps, everything and anything. She blocks them all. We were going to change her number again but because she’s waiting on the job transfer she says to wait till she’s working in the new town. Things seem to be working out. He did come by our house trying to talk to my husband but he simply told him no and to leave and he did. 

Well job transfer is taking longer than expected and it’s a week passed and she’s not transferred yet. She’s getting discouraged, I tell her to keep calling and doing whatever is needed. Well she apparently had started talking to this psycho again and Wednesday she texts me that she found out he didn’t cheat on her, it was a different girl that was texting him to hang out, a cousin of his and the girl she thought it was he doesn’t even know, some effing bs. I’m literally fkkkinh sickened. She says she still wants to stay over there and continue with the transfer BUT she’s coming back for just a day to get closure. I’m livid, literally livid. Her family has done so much to try to help her escape from this lunatic and she’s going right back, AGAIN. After lots of arguing she does what she wants to do and goes back and now she says she’s staying with him again, he’s told her she doesn’t have to work and he will take care of her. I’m furious, beyond furious. I told her that if she’s going to continue this relationship with him than I don’t want her coming around us anymore and that she needs to stay away. I’m so upset. I also tell her that if he’s going to take care of her and she doesn’t have to work than he can also pay her car insurance and phone bill that we currently pay. Also the her car is in my name because she didn’t have her driver’s license yet when she bought it 3 years ago so I told her she needed to get that switched over as well. I told her she’s choosing him over her family. She says she loves him and to just let her be. I’m hurt for my daughter for making these horrible decisions. I told her at her age she’s suppose to be thinking about her future and what she wants to do with her life and she’s not doing any of that. What kind of life and future does she see with this guy, she says she’s not thinking that far ahead right now. 

I just don’t understand how to help her to understand that this is not the right choice. Any advice on what I can tell her to maybe help her see and understand she’s ruining her life?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Tough love .... she will never grow up knowing she can fall back into your waiting support at any second. Reclaim the car and stop paying the bills. She hasn’t tasted reality so there is no “reality check”. I have two daughters about the same age ..... young adults..... your wasting your breath and I get a sense of control needs on your side. If you don’t let them grow up they never will.


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## TexasJenny (Jul 2, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Tough love .... she will never grow up knowing she can fall back into your waiting support at any second. Reclaim the car and stop paying the bills. She hasn’t tasted reality so there is no “reality check”. I have two daughters about the same age ..... young adults..... your wasting your breath and I get a sense of control needs on your side. If you don’t let them grow up they never will.


Thank you for your response. I was pretty mean when she told me she was going back to him. And I did tell her those exact words “sometimes tough love is the only thing that can save a person intent on destroying theirselves”. How can I show her tough love but also let her know I will always love her no matter what? Also the car is hers, she bought and paid for it entirely on her own, title change and all, I just had to put it in my name because she didn’t have her license yet. And yes, we are taking her off of our insurance and phone account.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

TexasJenny said:


> Thank you for your response. I was pretty mean when she told me she was going back to him. And I did tell her those exact words “sometimes tough love is the only thing that can save a person intent on destroying theirselves”. How can I show her tough love but also let her know I will always love her no matter what? Also the car is hers, she bought and paid for it entirely on her own, title change and all, I just had to put it in my name because she didn’t have her license yet. And yes, we are taking her off of our insurance and phone account.


You say exactly what you just told me. 

I’m always going to love you but I can’t support you destroying yourself. Adults need act like adults and your an adult now.


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