# I have lost myself



## lostgal (Jan 9, 2012)

Hello all im hoping to get so help here. i have been married for 3 years and have 1 child and so unhappy in my marriage. I had my child before getting married and thought that marriage was the best thing for my child. The year leading up the the wedding was a very bumpy road i asked to cancle the wedding 3-4 times and told him i wasent ready but he made me feel bad and scared to do so saying i would have to repay his paretns for the money they had put in and repay his money (at this time i was not working so i could be home with the baby) so i went thru with it and feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life. My husband gives me every thing and buys we what ever i want BUT he does not give me love or affection. I cant remember the last time we kissed and im lucky if he gives me sex1 time a month we can go months with out sex and that kills me. Thats all i want to do is move on with my life and find happiness but have no support and when we talk about this stuff he throws it into my face that i can never make it without him because i dont have a career and i will be a loser. I used to be so in control of my life and now i feel like i dont even know who i am. Please help me what do i do im so scared he is right and i wont be able to make it on my own


----------



## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

How did you make it on your own before you were married
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lostgal (Jan 9, 2012)

I worked doing hospice care but after having my baby i did not go back to work we married over a year later so he supported me since giving birth. I guess he is saying i can not care for myself and child without him


----------



## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

Sure you can! He will have to help support you and the baby. Get a part time job or full time. He is obligated thru child support and alimony until you can support yourself fully. Keep your sanity and move on!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lostgal (Jan 9, 2012)

I am so scared to ask for child support & alimony he already pays for another child he does not see and says very harsh things about his ex so i fear what he might say or do to me. I guess its foolish of me to think this way but im truely scared


----------



## KenCasanova (Jan 3, 2012)

lostgal said:


> I am so scared to ask for child support & alimony he already pays for another child he does not see and says very harsh things about his ex so i fear what he might say or do to me. I guess its foolish of me to think this way but im truely scared


That's understandable that you're scared, but what other option do you have?


----------



## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

It doesnt sound right. Why did he marry you. Just to spite you. Does he go elsewhere. Are you sure you would stay if he changed.


----------



## lostgal (Jan 9, 2012)

If he change no i wouldnt stay i have no love for him anymore he says he is here for 1 reason and that is our child. I think he married me to prove something to friends and family because he is not a good father to his 1st child and was tryn to make it right thru the 2nd child. See before i found out i was pregnant we were breaking up because of his cheating on me but when i found out i was pregnant i was young and scared so tried to make it work with him. Im only in my 20's


----------



## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

If your unhappy then u shud walk away dont let ur husband put u down. You should never let anyone put u down if he is only there for the child then he should change his thinking because no marriage works out if its just for the sake of the kids. Next time he tries to put u down stand ur ground and let him no that just because he has money doesnt make him a bigger person than u. Money does not make a persons life love and respect does if u aint got these two then he has nothing. Maybe you have made a mistake and if he said that before your wedding you shouldnt have gone through with it until he respected you. I think you should stand your ground and let him know that he will not intimidate you any longer because eventually his words are going to result in you hating him


----------



## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

Sounds like he doesn't respect you, and is abusive.

Get a job. Move out. Become independent. He'll either have to step up and be a husband or you'll leave him.


----------



## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Get a job and save money to move out.
Is there anyway you can take classes. Work towards a degree.
Check into programs that can offer assistance.
Do you have family that will help you.


----------



## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

lostgal said:


> I am so scared to ask for child support & alimony he already pays for another child he does not see and says very harsh things about his ex so i fear what he might say or do to me. I guess its foolish of me to think this way but im truely scared


Let him say them. Who cares? Doesn't make them true.


----------

