# Innocuous Texts.... "Hows it going"?



## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Hows it Going? 

---Well, its going alright. Finally putting aside the thought of what a freaking complete psychopath you must have turned into to destroy your family and daughters "home" by cheating on me, but actually, the thought of moving on from you and finding someone with an ounce of honesty and integrity is thoroughly pleasureable. Now, since I know that you normally never text anything like this to me without wanting something, please, just get to the point, instead of acting like you could possibly give a sh!t about how things are going with me..
thanks, have a great day!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

If that wasn't really your reply it should have been
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I'll tell you.
Its amazing how much can be extrapolated from a simple statement, now that the opacity of a devoted (and blind) obligation to the marriage is removed. For instance:
"Wouldnt you like to go into the bedroom where its quieter?"
(after sleeping on the couch all night)
REAL meaning: "I want to do something private without you around to see me, because I am actually ashamed of myself"

"Have you heard anything on the house?"
(in regards to my search for and locating a house to buy)
REAL meaning: "Hurry up and get out so I can move on with my life with this wonderful man from highschool I found again on FB, afterall he is my soul mate, and youre just cramping my life!!!" 

Ah,, yes,,, its quite the eye-opener to finally realize and attribute what things "are" versus what I wanted them to be..


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Hows it Going?
> 
> ---Well, its going alright. Finally putting aside the thought of what a freaking complete psychopath you must have turned into to destroy your family and daughters "home" by cheating on me, but actually, the thought of moving on from you and finding someone with an ounce of honesty and integrity is thoroughly pleasureable. Now, since I know that you normally never text anything like this to me without wanting something, please, just get to the point, instead of acting like you could possibly give a sh!t about how things are going with me..
> thanks, have a great day!


^^^^
I like that!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

shoo:
Sounds like my ex. Ex met his newest soul mate on FB, a high school chum from 50 years ago!

Long story short, I saw his profile pic the other day and the ex has aged at least 10 years. It was awful.

At first I thought good you deserve it but then the next day I was sorry for him, he is so confused.

When the dust settles for your ex, no doubt the confusion will also settle in.

I hope you can get out soon to start healing and living for yourself and your daughter.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Woo hoo! Go Shoo!!! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:Ah the things I would still love to say to my ex! However I realized long ago he is void of the feelings, logic, sympathy, and morals that would be needed for him to understand anything I might say like that! Eh, oh well. At least I have hit the indifference stage of feelings (or lack there of) towards him!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Hows it Going?
> 
> ---Well, its going alright. Finally putting aside the thought of what a freaking complete psychopath you must have turned into to destroy your family and daughters "home" by cheating on me, but actually, the thought of moving on from you and finding someone with an ounce of honesty and integrity is thoroughly pleasureable. Now, since I know that you normally never text anything like this to me without wanting something, please, just get to the point, instead of acting like you could possibly give a sh!t about how things are going with me..
> thanks, have a great day!


When you can say "Everything's cool, how's it going with you?". Then you have healed and moved on. Plus, an answer like that will make a MUCH bigger impact. 

It'll come. Trust me.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> When you can say "Everything's cool, how's it going with you?". Then you have healed and moved on. Plus, an answer like that will make a MUCH bigger impact.
> 
> It'll come. Trust me.


Actually, as a "nice guy" that is easy to fake, and has actually been used many times. When he simply doesn't reply, nor give it a second thought because he sincerely doesn't care how this person from his past is, THEN he has moved on. As the parent of his children her well-being matters, but it is not his responsibility to provide that for her.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Lon said:


> Actually, as a "nice guy" that is easy to fake, and has actually been used many times. When he simply doesn't reply, nor give it a second thought because he sincerely doesn't care how this person from his past is, THEN he has moved on. As the parent of his children her well-being matters, but it is not his responsibility to provide that for her.


I should have clarified that to state "when you can say it and not care or fake it..then you've moved on". 

It's a great feeling to just not give a damn anymore.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> It's a great feeling to just not give a damn anymore.


BINGO!!!

Why answer any text at all if there is not direct question?

I think that if I were in your shoes and the ex asked me something general, like 
How are you?", I'd just ignore it.
Anything direct, such as, "Have you sold the house?", my answer would be "yes" or "no".

Why get sucked in to a conversation that you don't want to have?

Ignore.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm not quite there with the whole not-truly-giving-a-damn, But I'm real close. My stbxw continuously pays me compliments and thanks me on "being a good dad" which I appreciate and acknowledge are true, but every time she says it I just stare at her thinking "your words feel somehow meaningless". I have not yet reciprocated with a generic warm-fuzzy "thank you too", nor will I and I think it is driving her mad, however I do try to thank her specifically every single time I notice when she does something right with our child.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Its not that her texts bother me, or that I feel a need to respond. I just know that 99% of the time it is an "intro" to some discussion she feels she needs to have about getting something from me. Thats how she operates. There is always a motive hidden behind the innocuous text. I unfortunately cant ignore all of them as we have a daughter together, and some issues may involve her, but rest assured, Ive given way too much of my life, time and energy into someone that will from now on reflect daily, on how valuable that was in comparison. I have moved on, i have my moments of sadness about the state of things, but the thought of reconciliation is completely nonexistant and repulsive. 
This wall was built by the very bricks supplied by her, each instance she "went out" overnight, the lies, the disparaging life Ive had to live while married to her, AH,,, freedom.. so sweet..


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Lon said:


> I'm not quite there with the whole not-truly-giving-a-damn, But I'm real close. My stbxw continuously pays me compliments and thanks me on "being a good dad" which I appreciate and acknowledge are true, but every time she says it I just stare at her thinking "your words feel somehow meaningless". I have not yet reciprocated with a generic warm-fuzzy "thank you too", nor will I and I think it is driving her mad, however I do try to thank her specifically every single time I notice when she does something right with our child.


My "giving a-damn" went out the window while living with her after divorce, and watching her get ready for dates, leaving empty dooshbottles in the bathroom garbage can, and witnessing that complete disconnect between reality and her new life as a 40yr old teenager. Sometimes I hope shes able to sidestep facing the reality of her choices, because I really dont think she could handle it.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Shooboomafoo said:


> My "giving a-damn" went out the window while living with her after divorce, and watching her get ready for dates, leaving empty dooshbottles in the bathroom garbage can, and witnessing that complete disconnect between reality and her new life as a 40yr old teenager. Sometimes I hope shes able to sidestep facing the reality of her choices, because I really dont think she could handle it.


oh believe me, my damn-giving has left too, its just the void left behind where giving-a-damn used to be that is causing these feelings. dooshbottles, that's funny, my cheating W was doing that too, not leaving empty bottles in the trash, but I found them in the luggage she used when she went on her "personal soul seeking retreat alone" I guess we can chalk up empty doosh bottles as another red flag of infidelity eh?


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