# what does man feel when woman cries?



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

I just wonder why does a man ask a woman what her relationship troubles are n listen to her talk n cry for 2-3 hours. How does he feel when the woman cries for 2-3 hours? 

N no tissue was offered. Strange. Usually I get tissues from the counsellors n lawyers n lady friends. 

Oh my ex has no emotions when I cry. in fact i was wailing n bawling then n heart broken. Anyway he's screw up n he screws the family up big time. btw I think the regret is all his now , I've given up n move on. The tears I realised now was good, it symbolises getting over death of marriage.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

most men I think, myself included turn to mush.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Feel like crap.

It's a trigger for "the fixer". All powerful, all knowing man of steel, he can fight to the death and come back to fight another day. He can determine how to repair any appliance you have used. He is the perfect combination of know it all and lover.  I thought that would be a humorous explanation of this mythical character.

On one hand, I want to say he doesn't have any feelings. On the other, I want to say he may be holding back his feelings. On a third hand (3rd? :scratchhead he could be thinking that you are a grown woman and can get one yourself. On a fourth? he could just be a jerk.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Hey I'm referring to two different men above.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

tripad said:


> Hey I'm referring to two different men above.


Okay...not sure...I think crying relieves tension that's being held inside. Sometimes we don't even know how much tension there is until the tears start. Then, it seems like all these emotions we didn't know we had, start to come out. One thing leads to another emotion and it gets so frustrating to hold in, we have to let it all out. Then, it's easier to go back to working on those things.


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## TheColonel (Mar 2, 2015)

jorgegene said:


> most men I think, myself included turn to mush.


Yup. Whenever a woman cries I can't help but try to comfort her. It makes me sad.


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## BrutalHonesty (Apr 5, 2015)

When i was younger i thought that was the signal for me to fix something. To intervene and make it right. Now? I know better. Women, when doing this, need just that assurance, that emotional support, perhaps a hug, definitely some tenderness.

But, overall, most of we guys aren't really equipped to deal with that stuff. Give a broken machine to fix over a crying woman everyday...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)




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## Misfits (Mar 25, 2015)

I sit there stupefied. My wife cries often (yeah that sounds bad) - like from my lack of emotion. So yeah, I sit there not knowing what to do. It sort of weirds me out. I wish she wouldnt cry at the drop of a hat. It's really silly. I know I'm supposed to comfort her and tell her xyz to make it better. But I know that she knows that I know I'm "supposed" to act a certain way. SO that makes it even weirder because I dont want to conform to normality.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If a woman rarely cries, I have a strong reaction and want to fix whatever's wrong. If one cries several times a day for any reason or no reason, it pretty quickly gets ignored. There is a limit to how many times one can call 911 and still receive a compassionate response.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

unbelievable said:


> If a woman rarely cries, I have a strong reaction and want to fix whatever's wrong. If one cries several times a day for any reason or no reason, it pretty quickly gets ignored. There is a limit to how many times one can call 911 and still receive a compassionate response.


I would have to follow along this sentiment. When a woman rarely cries I tend to pay significant notice when she does. And comfort as a result. 

When she cries all the time you can't tell the difference between real problems and the hallmark TV commercial making her cry. I tend to start to tune that out.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Sometimes, I would feel my forehead like this:










sometimes like this:










and sometimes like this:


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


>


Cute but not trap 

I was crying buckets about my ex n what he did. 

Well even that guy was pissed to hear my ex hits me N advised divorce. Just like my gf n counsellors


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> unbelievable said:
> 
> 
> > If a woman rarely cries, I have a strong reaction and want to fix whatever's wrong. If one cries several times a day for any reason or no reason, it pretty quickly gets ignored. There is a limit to how many times one can call 911 and still receive a compassionate response.
> ...


Agree. 

I did that once with that guy only. After that just putting up brave front during divorce. 

N you guys are right. No more crying n once I mentioned life is tough with a smile n he sat up n frown.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> unbelievable said:
> 
> 
> > If a woman rarely cries, I have a strong reaction and want to fix whatever's wrong. If one cries several times a day for any reason or no reason, it pretty quickly gets ignored. There is a limit to how many times one can call 911 and still receive a compassionate response.
> ...


Agree. 

I did that once with that guy only. After that just putting up brave front during divorce. 

N you guys are right. No more crying n once I mentioned life is tough with a smile n he sat up n frown.


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

There is a lot more to this story than just what does a man feel when a woman cries but I'll comment on the basic question since we don't know enough about the OP and her situation. 

When a woman I know and care about cries it immediately causes me distress and concern. I feel the call to action. I want to fix it. Crying means something is wrong. A wrong must be righted. Now after many years I have learned the frustrating truth. Women cry but don't want us to fix it...oh but they do ...but then you can't fix it because it is how they feel and feelings aren't wrong so they can't be fixed. So they cry and if you somehow avoid making it worse, they eventually may feel better.

So I'll go a little deeper. When a women cry's it generates feelings that once released can make a women feel better. For a man a women's crying generates feelings of helplessness, frustration, confusion and sadness. It usually leaves us feeling like we can't help this person we care about. If we try and fix it they just get upset because we obviously don't understand them and if we really cared we would understand and comfort them in the way they want us to not the way we want to. 

Thus man sees women crying: Oh god I'm wrong before I start and I'll only make it worse no matter what I do. Even if I don't do anything I'm wrong. I really hate when women cry. 

When a woman I don't know cries I normally want to know why and if there something I can quickly do to help. 99% of the time I can't do anything but I will offer. To which the offer is usually declined and I have to put away my white knight costume and just move on. I may be concerned for a minute but I can't let that influence my mood or occupy my thoughts for long. I'm not married to her or related so thank God I'm free to walk away and there won't be any guilt, hurt feelings or lectures about how I'm insensitive. Well until I get home that is. LOL


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

my experience with crying and men -- either those men I was partnered with or with my father -- is that I was treated as a basket case to be scorned...... not as a vulnerable person who needed AND deserved support.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I'll have to go with Vorlon's post; however, I've never been around a woman that cried for 2 or 3 hours. Is that common?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Yep, Vorlon got it. I actually had a pictorial and humorous tale of the "fixer" which follows along the same lines with the exception of the last paragraph. Learned something new. Thank You.


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## Big Tree (Jul 25, 2014)

When my wife cries I listen and empathize. There is nothing more to do.

I do not carry tissues on my person.


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I was expecting my wife to come down the isle at our wedding with a big smile - but NO - she is balling her eyes out - I panicked and was like - crap!! she changed her mind!! I was relieved when she followed through - but I am not sure I am actually married to her as I was so startled that I only looked at the preacher when I said my vows.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Tripad-

May I just say ....please be careful in comparing any other man to your ex...

Your ex was abusive and narcissistic...which means he set the bar REALLY low...so that ANY amount of attention is comparatively better than what you received in the past.

From experiencing a first marriage similar to you and your ex, I strongly recommend taking time to really know yourself...independent of a man...know what you need and how you want to be loved and cared for.

This allows you to be objective when dating. The only measuring tool for what you need is you. Not in comparison to what you had (or didn't have) before. If you choose to compare, you may find that you've once again settled and compromised your needs.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I RARELY ever cry. If I feel like crying I get angry instead. Being the youngest in a big family you learn pretty quickly not to cry!

My husband is paralyzed the few times he has seen my cry, except when in mourning. If I cried in front of him he would look at me, totally lost, totally ill at ease, did not move to comfort, did not say anything, no action what so ever.

It made me feeling completely insignificant; that my pain and the expression of pain was out of place and I felt compelled to get control of myself because I was so obviously not making sense. I could feel his discomfort and it made me feel guilty for making him uncomfortable. And that made me angry that I had to bury and stuff and not get the comfort I needed.

He has recently learned a little bit about offering comfort. It's nice.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Misfits said:


> I sit there stupefied.


This is exactly what my husband does. He has no clue what to do.

Good thing I am not a crier & don't cry often!


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

southbound said:


> I'll have to go with Vorlon's post; however, I've never been around a woman that cried for 2 or 3 hours. Is that common?


Not common, for me at least. The only time I did with that guy, the rest with my gf n counsellor. N it's because my 20 yrs marriage is failing n I was wanting divorce but indecisive bcoz of my children. 

I Don't usually cry.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

On the rare occasion that it happens, he takes me in his arms and murmurs soothingly.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

cons said:


> Tripad-
> 
> May I just say ....please be careful in comparing any other man to your ex...
> 
> ...


I'm aware of this. Not dated yet since separation one half year ago n not yet dated even when divorce finalised 4 months ago. 

Trying to stable myself evaluate my checklist for a man.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Don't see a need for a date. Hate to think that I've to date, eat n talk with mouth full to my date


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

I feel awkward and uncomfortable, as it's not a reaction I understand or empathize with (unless something earth-shattering has happened; even then, I would usually hold it in).

Honestly, I think it's a little rude, especially if its in a public setting. It's like the crier is saying "Look, I've got all this sadness and negative emotion, and I'm going to drag the rest of you into it and force you to deal with it as well".

Obviously, wife/girlfriend/close friend/family is allowed to impose in this manner, it's one of the benefits of being close to someone (as long as it isn't abused).


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Perhaps he took this seriously:

"One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax." -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

Or perhaps after opening the flood gates he didn't know what to do until the water stopped washing over him.

To those women who have reported being scorned by men when expressing strong emotion. I take your warning seriously. I wouldn't appreciate it if men treated me that way either.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

southbound said:


> *I'll have to go with Vorlon's post; however, I've never been around a woman that cried for 2 or 3 hours. Is that common?*


 I've never known or heard of anyone like this.. sounds like severe untreated depression..









Vorlon's post was very good! 

My H doesn't like to see my cry... it gives him a terrible feeling -I just asked him this.. he says it makes him feel like he was mean to me or an A-hole (which he NEVER is!)...so his answer is kinda funny to me.. 

Fortunately I rarely cry out of sadness. I am more one of those women who will get angry/ "attitude" will start showing.. he can always TELL... though I have broke down & cried in a few fights of ours in the past.. 

He never walks away, he wants to comfort...He knows I need to talk things out...*this is what calms me*..then I am back to my bubbly self .....

He knows I don't want to be left alone.....They say men like to FIX.... *I LIKE to FIX too!*... I have a need to get logical even in the midst of some tears....this helps me get my head on straight, looking at the full picture, bouncing things off of him..so I won't allow my emotions to overtake me....when the clouds are breaking here.. he'll often say... *get a grip*" .... Words of endearment. 

I've probably cried out of sadness more when trying to conceive -a span of 6 yrs....he'd hold me, I know he sympathized with the frustration I felt.. but even then, I think I was just more angry.. had my bi*chy moments.. He was always very patient and loving.. through everything... I give him much credit for putting up with me -at times.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Joey2k said:


> I feel awkward and uncomfortable, as it's not a reaction I understand or empathize with (unless something earth-shattering has happened; even then, I would usually hold it in).
> 
> Honestly, I think it's a little rude, especially if its in a public setting. It's like the crier is saying "Look, I've got all this sadness and negative emotion, and I'm going to drag the rest of you into it and force you to deal with it as well".
> 
> Obviously, wife/girlfriend/close friend/family is allowed to impose in this manner, it's one of the benefits of being close to someone (as long as it isn't abused).


Don't think a woman cry to drag the world in. In my case, I didn't ask to talk. He did. Then expect to deal with it if I cry. Anyway i thank n apologize for time n embarrassment caused. He was gracious to understand.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> southbound said:
> 
> 
> > *I'll have to go with Vorlon's post; however, I've never been around a woman that cried for 2 or 3 hours. Is that common?*
> ...



Sigh............ 

I repeat. I was telling him why my 20 years marriage fell apart, my ex financially n physically abused me. 

Only once I tell him n cry for 2-3 hours. 

Yo..... Don't want to repeat again


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

What is "n"?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

tripad said:


> I just wonder why does a man ask a woman what her relationship troubles are n listen to her talk n cry for 2-3 hours. How does he feel when the woman cries for 2-3 hours?
> 
> N no tissue was offered. Strange. Usually I get tissues from the counsellors n lawyers n lady friends.
> 
> Oh my ex has no emotions when I cry. in fact i was wailing n bawling then n heart broken. Anyway he's screw up n he screws the family up big time. btw I think the regret is all his now , I've given up n move on. The tears I realised now was good, it symbolises getting over death of marriage.


Amusement....followed by -release the hounds


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I would not know what to do when someone cries for 3 ours. 

It looks like your crying spell was simply good bye to relationship - do I get it right? I've done that before, cried for couple of hours over the end of the relationship - but by myself, no witnesses. After two hours went to bed, slept well and woke up all happy and smiley, wiht the old relationship stove away in "happy memories" file.


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## Rockymts (Mar 26, 2015)

crying equals kryptonite to most guy. I know it does to me. with that said there are a lot of variables to consider. Some women cry about everything. I broke a glass in the dishwasher boohoo, I got stuck in traffic boohoo, I can't find anything to wear to this wedding boohoo. my sister in law is a Bieotch and never has Christmas boo hoo.

when the girl who cries wolf cries then after awhile you just kind of ignore it. Or are indifferent 

With that said the woman who isn't like that come to you and cries you listen and try your best to help in any way you can.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> What is "n"?


It's text abbreviation for the word "and."

There should be a law against using one letter text abbreviations in a message forum. 

I def spk in abrev.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> What is "n"?


And


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

MarriedDude said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > I just wonder why does a man ask a woman what her relationship troubles are n listen to her talk n cry for 2-3 hours. How does he feel when the woman cries for 2-3 hours?
> ...


You r nuts n twisted 

Shoo fly


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I would eat my arms off if I had to sit and listen to crying for 3 hours.

But anyway to the point, when I cry Mr H consoles me, gives me a big hug, gets a glass of red and will talk if I want to. I think he struggles more when I try to hold back the tears and my eyes well up, at that time he gets a look of "WTF should I do now?" I do try to hold back the tears, bite my lip and act stronger than I am, this is harder for him to deal with.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

If I cried for 2-3 hours over a failed past relationship, I honestly think my SO would kick me to the curb.

OP, I agree with Simply Amorous... This sounds like deep-seated depression. Please seek counseling.

(N stop using "n" for "and"...)

:lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> If I cried for 2-3 hours over a failed past relationship, I honestly think my SO would kick me to the curb.
> 
> OP, I agree with Simply Amorous... This sounds like deep-seated depression. Please seek counseling.
> 
> ...



N

I think you have a problem


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

happy as a clam said:


> If I cried for 2-3 hours over a failed past relationship, I honestly think my SO would kick me to the curb.
> 
> OP, I agree with Simply Amorous... This sounds like deep-seated depression. Please seek counseling.
> 
> ...



N 


N 


I wish it happen to you so u will understand better. 


N 

N


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

N

Oh

N 

U shld read earlier post. 

Or if u hv prob reading as such, go 2 else where pls

Maybe u r jealous a man listen to me cry for 2 hrs


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