# How do I overcome the fact that he is 'small' down there?



## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago. 

When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to. 
we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.

I used to have such a high sex drive but I feel like I don't have a sex drive at all anymore. Last night we had sex after about a month, and I did it because I felt bad that I wasn't giving him any. But I realised last night that I don't think I feel satisfied after sex with him because he's not big enough to reach my G Spot. So while he was able to be satisfied, I wasn't. And I think because I'm put off from having sex, I'm also put off everything else. I don't want him to touch me for foreplay, I feel a little uncomfortable him watching me change my clothes because he always makes comments to insinuate sex and I don't feel like doing it, sometimes I don't want him to touch me at all.

I do have a dildo but I don't feel comfortable using it, I feel embarrassed. And I want to feel everything from a real penis, not a toy.

He's not super small, but smaller than I've ever had before. I feel really bad saying this because I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to hurt his feelings; it's not a nice thing to have to tell someone they're not big enough for you. In all other respects, he treats me how a woman wants to be treated, so I don't want to leave the marriage because of this one thing and I think I stayed with him early on because I haven't ever found a man that treats me as good as he does.

Last night I did want to bring it up somehow without trying to hurt his feelings. So I asked him if he felt satisfied after sec and he said 'Yes, did you' and that's when I told him that I didn't feel satisfied and I think it might be because he's not big enough for me. He kind of just said sorry, so I said 'It's not your fault' and that was the end of the conversation. He went to sleep. I felt if I said anymore I would really hurt his feelings and I hate hurting peoples feelings.

I'm only 28, I can't live the rest of my life in a sexless marriage.. please help me 

P.s. I would really appreciate if the advice isn't that I shouldn't have married him because it's too late for that now. I can't put my family through me getting divorced less than a year after getting married.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

Nobody put a pistol to your head and forced you to marry this guy!!!

"It's not your fault"???? You said this to him???

"I can't put my family through me getting divorced"??

I hope this guy hands you divorce papers like yesterday!!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Good luck.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I am a bit confused... you say your culture doesn't allow you to have sex before marriage, but you did have lots of sex... and in the car too. Why in the car? Is sex in the car different if you are not allowed to have sex before marriage? Was it an arranged marriage? Otherwise I don't understand why you married a guy with a small penis.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I felt if I said anymore I would really hurt his feelings and I hate hurting peoples feelings.


Hmm… too late for that one I think.

No advice really, there isn’t a treatment for that AFAIK.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


@Greenkiwi456 Yours is certainly a tragic story.

My thoughts are not aligned with other voices that think you should divorce. In fact I applaud your desire to stay married even when the situation is difficult.

I would suggest you focus your efforts in two areas.

First, overcome your hangouts about toys and try to enjoy them with your husband. Bring him into that play and let him pleasure you. Or do it yourself. Explore other ways to be satisfied as a couple, and by yourself.

Second, get connected with a sex therapist. I have no experience in this area but my assumption is they will help with the mental blocks that prevent you from feeling comfortable exploring while also helping him learn how to please you in spite of shortcomings.

I have no actual experience about this topic so others may give better suggestions. But if my wife came to me with this problem…these are the things I would think of immediately.

I do believe this problem can be overcome. In fact it _must_ be overcome. You will not be able (nor should you have to) to live the rest of your life unhappy in this area. The next 10 years or so will be very difficult for you given your age and it will be extremely difficult to stay both married and faithful.

You deserve to be happy in life OP including in the bedroom. Pursue these other options to be happy with your mate.

Best of luck to you OP.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Have you considered that maybe you’re too big for him?
Unless he’s really tiny then he should be able to improve his technique with practice. But you won’t let him practice will you?
In reality you just don’t like your husband and you are grasping any reason whatsoever to justify your feelings.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Personal said:


> I hate to break this to you, but you should know that no sex therapist can make her husbands penis bigger than it already can be.
> 
> 
> 
> 🤣 Do you know someone with a bigger ****?


My thoughts are centered around the idea of finding ways for both OP and H to be happy in their current situation. Leaving is an easy way out, for sure. But I think marriage is worth trying harder whenever there is a reasonable option.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> @Greenkiwi456 Yours is certainly a tragic story.
> 
> My thoughts are not aligned with other voices that think you should divorce. In fact I applaud your desire to stay married even when the situation is difficult.
> 
> ...


The above is good advice.

Also, why doesn't he use his fingers or tongue? Out of curiousity, how many inches is "small"?

I could never ever tell a man that I thought his penis was too small. That's like telling a woman her vagina is too big and he can't feel anything or that her boobs are too small and it's a turn off. Saying such things about a person's body is not very nice and would most likely hurt their feelings.

I would never, never, never have sex with any man that said negative things about my boobs, butt or vag!

I have never raised my voice in anger at my husband, but if he ever said anything mean about those three areas, oh boy, so_sweet would be so_screaming!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

There are many ways for you to enjoy sex and have orgasms but you are refusing to do anything to make that happen. I doubt its anything to do with his size but your refusal to try sex toys and have foreplay.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage
> he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.


I can completely empathize with the difficult situation you have placed your marriage in. The only one who can rectify this situation is you. And, you can indeed, change this for yourself and your husband. There are many ways your G-spot can be reached and that you can have satisfying sex. 

You need to recognize that it is you at fault here. Societal rules have their basis in TRUTH. If you had not been promiscuous, and had adhered to the value system you were taught, you would not now be experiencing this difficulty. You and your husband would be working together to create a good and satisfying sex life for both of you. You would have arrived at marriage with no other experience, other than your husband. And, therefore, you would have been pleased and blessed to have your husband's penis, no matter what its size.

Instead, you are adopting an attitude of entitlement, that somehow God has endowed you with the right to have a bigger penis. If this is what you continue to put into practice in your life, your marriage will be ruined.

You have now done one of the most unproductive things you could have ever done. You have set a standard your husband can never reach, and have told him that he will never have your affection, sexually, because of some factor he can do absolutely nothing to change. 

I was also told this by my adulterous wife. She compared me to her affair partner. I think now this was "blame-shifting", but at the time I accepted it as truth. I can tell you of a fact, from that day forward, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her sexually. Yes, I played the "pick-me" game for a while, but inside, I just wasn't turned on, I just didn't care. I never cheated on her, I relegated myself to a sex life containing only masturbation. I came to the place where I just stopped trying entirely. The emotional pain of trying to have sex with her just wasn't worth it.

If you want to keep your marriage, as you say you do, you need to take the initiative now to save it. Get into your marital bed ready, willing, and able. Fake it to make it. Seduce him.

Women's Sexual Desire - here is a good article that tells you steps to take. 

Responsive Desire is an article which details exactly why. And, it never mentions the size of your husband's penis.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Personal said:


> Seriously @BeyondRepair007, since you're a man. How would you feel being married to someone who finds you so wretchedly unappealing sexually? That she withholds sex from you, because she feels disgust at the thought of you seeing her and touching her. All over something you can't help, that she knew about from before you were married.


It does sound awful, you are absolutely right about that. I would be crushed.

I stand on the thinking that emotions (especially women’s from what I hear) are highly complex and rarely simple or straightforward. In a scenario where my wife would detest me as you’ve described, I would highly doubt that the problem would be strictly based on bedroom performance. Not because I’m a rock star there... but because it’s never that simple.

Inversely, from what I hear, female happiness and satisfaction in sex is not normally _only_ about size. There are other mental and emotional elements that add up to a satisfied woman. So I think a few things could be wrong in with this OP scenario but she describes the rest of the marriage as happy and fulfilling.

In the end, it sounds to me like OP is willing to fight to correct problems in her marriage and I applaud that. The best way to fight this in my humble opinion, are mentioned in my comments above. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer but it seems reasonable to me. Maybe it will to OP as well.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage),


So, in your culture you can't sleep with your intended before marriage; but, all the non-intendeds are fair game? You can't tell your mama that your husband is too small for you because then she will ask you how you know. 

At 28 you are a full-fledged adult and will have to take responsibility for your life. Your culture can't be used as an excuse. Maybe you can make a deal with your husband that the excuse for the divorce will be because you're too big for him rather than he is too small for you.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Personal said:


> even though she found him sexually repellant, she did anyway.


I agree that this action is utterly reprehensible. It was done to me. She married me because I was a pack mule she could ride out of an unpleasant life situation. She got the ride she wanted, at my expense. It's very unfortunate for her that she didn't obey her God, either before, or after, our marriage. I think the results for her could have been quite different. She failed to get BOTH sexual satisfaction AND a good marriage.

And, even though she disobeyed God prior to her marriage, things could have been quite different for her if she, instead of continuing in her self-centeredness and sin, had confessed, repented, found redemption, and began a new life. But she chose unwisely.

I believe that the OP can begin her new life today, it's not too late.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I will also add @Greenkiwi456, that I don't think you should have to suffer staying in a marriage with someone who repulses you sexually. There is nothing wrong with you feeling that way. By the same token, I don't think your husband should have to suffer being married to a woman who finds him to be sexually repulsive. Both of you don't need to suffer that.

The thing is though, if you do want to stay married to him. The decent thing to do is to find ways to overcome your revulsion and embrace your husband sexually. Otherwise you ought to set him free from the burden of being married to someone who really isn't into him, because he like you, deserves much better than that.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Well, the g spot is about 2-3” in, so he has a micro penis? And after dating for about two years, you didn’t figure out it was too small for you?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

You and your husband have more tools than his penis, there are also many ways to use his tool. 

He could give you oral (with or without toys) first, you orgasm, then you have sex. He could use toys during sex, and there are many options of toys besides dildos. If you are into it, putting something in your rear (finger, butt plug, etc) can make the whole area smaller and push his penis in a different angle. Maybe that would hit the right spot. There are even options for HIM to use on himself (**** rings, sheaths). 

And of course, he should know how to use his main tool.

My wife told me that her ex before me was "small" and she "couldn't feel anything really" due to the small length and girth. At one point I asked just how small he was and she said around 5-5½" "but skinny". I'm pretty sure that's average, and most of the planet isn't wandering around miserable and telling their husband they are too small. The more likely scenario was he (and your husband) just don't know how to use it. 

Different positions, different angles, different rhythms, etc. The same applies for men who have to avoid ramming into their wife's cervix. It's not just stick it in and go to town. 

I have the problem of needing to be careful or I'll hurt my wife. Guess what? I still don't hit the "right spot" from every angle or position. And just wait until you push a small human out that exit, everything can change. 

There isn't much coming back from telling your husband he's too small though. A time machine?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Anger some women and the first thing they quietly and mumbally-do, is to make fun of your manhood.
No, not to your face, to your back, so to put you in your place, one of disgrace. 

His little head now takes the brunt of your displeasure.
Oh, have you been watching that unrealistic porn?

Hmm?

There is nothing any guy can do about his size, except wear a sleeve.
And your cold-plated slot does not accept plastic.

Yes, he may be small, but you sound small minded.
Let him go, move on to bigger things, not worrying about substance.

It is obvious, that big brains rate so little now-a-days!
You cannot dunk a ball with a big brain.

But, you can run like the dikens and dribble so well, with three legs.



_Nemesis-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yep, another penis thread, the short version.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

SunCMars said:


> Yep, another penis thread, the short version.


And on yet another penis thread I will say the same thing I always do when the size issue comes up... even a 747 looks small in the Grand Canyon


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> Yep, another penis thread, the short version.


Through my tears, thanks for the laugh.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I would never ever tell a guy I was married to that I dont enjoy sex because he is too small. That must have crushed him. Comparing him to previous sexual partners is awful, and is one of the many reasons why waiting till marriage before you have sex is wise.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> I would never ever tell a guy I was married to that I dont enjoy sex because he is too small. That must have crushed him. Comparing him to previous sexual partners is awful, and is one of the many reasons why waiting till marriage before you have sex is wise.


So instead of what you wouldn't do.

How about if you were married to a man, who you couldn't help but feel repulsed by him sexually. While you also felt a bit violated if he looked at you and the sex you shared was always unpleasant and felt like an awful chore and violation in the doing.

So if you felt like she did, what would you do in that situation?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hey @Greenkiwi456 , you have a much larger problem than Wang size.

If you found your husband attractive, you would want to have sex.

There have been many women interviewed on this subject and some experienced and honest women have talked about it.

Unless he has a deformity, you can have fun with him.

The real problem is you don't want to.

Regardless of excuses, you should not have married him with your attitude.

I'm actually not going to talk about any techniques or sex aids because the size of your heart and mind are the real culprits.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I would never ever tell a guy I was married to that I dont enjoy sex because he is too small.


What would you do then? If you were a size queen and you were married to a man who wasn’t packing heat downstairs?


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Whats your definition of small?

Also, they make **** sleeves and extensions.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> What would you do then? If you were a size queen and you were married to a man who wasn’t packing heat downstairs?


I would love him and carry on enjoying sex. The problem with OP is that she refuses to do anything to help her situation and make her sex life better. She blames him instead.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I would love him and carry on enjoying sex. The problem with OP is that she refuses to do anything to help her situation and make her sex life better. She blames him instead.


She has sampled larger size(s) and maybe that is a core component of her enjoyment. So right now she’s not enjoying sex and she’s just thinking of the big D that he can’t provide.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


The g spot, being on the interior top, not really deep in, is hard to not reach. Either you're talking 3 or 4", or the angle of penetration you two use is not right to put pressure on g spot.

Also, use the vibrator or toy during sex, if you don't that's your choice. He will be for using toys.

What else is wrong in the M? Sex problems are usually a symptom of more serious problems.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Your culture frowns on pre-marital sex, so you snuck around and had sex in a car with your fiancé? The cultural norms must have not meant much to you because you’ve sampled enough D’s to know what you found to be enough for your vagina. Since a lifetime of an unsatisfying sex life is not something you should endure, then just divorce. Hopefully in time he can marry a woman with a small tight vagina that will be satisfied with his smaller than average penis and you can meet a man with a huge penis to reach your g spot in your large vagina.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

This could have a very simple answer. WeVibe.... Your Welcome.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


Have you considered seeing a sex therapist? Maybe, they could help you and your husband and improve this part of your marriage.


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## Captain Obvious (Mar 14, 2021)

There’s nothing more fragile in this world than the male ego, and you pretty much nuked your husband’s. You told him he has a small penis and he doesn’t satisfy you sexually. If he’s smart he’ll put 2 and 2 together and realize you’ve been withholding sex from him bc you don’t like having it with him. I don’t see how your marriage can survive this.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SunCMars said:


> Yep, another penis thread, the short version.


It's probably not right on some level but the enjoyment I got out of waking up to this thread and this response was undeniable.😋


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

If you knew the sex was going to be unsatisfying and you weren't going to be happy, then why did you marry him?

How much time has to pass before it's "acceptable" to "put your family through a divorce"?

Makes me wonder how much your parents spent on your wedding.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Sounds like a classic case of alpha ****s, beta bucks.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

According to the statistics, 50 to 70 % of women cannot 'O' doing PIV sex.

Does this mean, never or rarely?

This means they need to use other means.

Dunno, the real truth.

I do know that the majority of ladies need that emotional connection.

Yours', seems absent here....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

@Greenkiwi456 , please respond to some of the posts.

It might seem a bit harsh but you have to admit you opened with a pretty harsh situation.

There are many here who will try and help so don't be scared off.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Thank you for posting on this delicate subject.

Ah, no one will dare, take your side.

The fallout would be swift and bruising.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

So you had no problem riding the **** carousel (I assume it wasn’t all in the back of cars) before you met your husband but with him he was relegated to the rules of your culture that you didn’t follow before?

If you had never gotten a taste of larger **** and became a size queen you would be happily oblivious and never known the difference.

I’m getting visions of throwing hot dogs down a hallway and a wizard’s sleeve.

Edit: I really hate using the vernacular of the PUA, Red Pill, MGTOW worlds because I think most of those guys are idiots (guys in their 20s who claim to be alpha because they bench press 185, wear Affliction shirts, and call themselves entrepreneurs because they sold a few t-shirts are hilarious to me), but in this case I think the language fits.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Come on folks.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

thunderchad said:


> Sounds like a classic case of alpha ****s, beta bucks.


More like an alpha widow. If she was having sex with above average specimens, her expectations are now going to be very high. Problem for her is that these types of guys are usually not looking to wife a woman like her. Even if they did, how much of a catch are they really? There’s a reason she married this guy. I’d bet he’s probably fairly successful or has the potential to be. Could the same be said for her past hookups?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

OP’s first post in the Welcome forum, together with this one, paints a picture of a tender-hearted young lady that is doing the best she can in a strange world that maybe she didn’t expect and doesn’t know how to handle.

Some comments on this thread are a little harsh, I hope OP isn’t further disillusioned about marriage or the ability for TAM to help her.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> OP’s first post in the Welcome forum, together with this one, paints a picture of a tender-hearted young lady that is doing the best she can in a strange world that maybe she didn’t expect and doesn’t know how to handle.
> 
> Some comments on this thread are a little harsh, I hope OP isn’t further disillusioned about marriage or the ability for TAM to help her.


Cruel words are the easiest to deliver.

I am, now and then, guilty of this myself.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> Cruel words are the easiest to deliver.
> 
> I am, now and then, guilty of this myself.


Same. unfortunately.
No stones thrown. Just calling it out.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> I would never ever tell a guy I was married to that I dont enjoy sex because he is too small. That must have crushed him. Comparing him to previous sexual partners is awful, and is one of the many reasons why waiting till marriage before you have sex is wise.


well, if you see "it" before marriage, you can decide not to get married, if you find out "after", you are stuck with "it" forever or you will have to divorce. Which one is better? I guess you will say "if you love your spouse you will have to put up with a small willy"... at least if you are a breast man, you can probably guess the size...


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I don’t understand her point of view. She sampled the goods before marriage. Now after a couple of years she’s decided the tool isn’t sufficient anymore? That seems really unfair.
I suggest divorce. There’s just nothing he can do about his size, and there’s no fixing the attitude of a woman. Once the switch is in the off position, that’s where it stays. 
Sadly, she has brought a lot of needless pain to a lot of people, particularly her husband. You shouldn’t have married him OP. Correct that situation as best you can. Don’t stay and make everyone miserable. And don’t have kids with the poor guy.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

My words were a bit harsh. My wife birthed an 11 pound baby completely naturally, so I probably have no room to talk.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

SunCMars said:


> According to the statistics, 50 to 70 % of women cannot 'O' doing PIV sex.
> 
> Does this mean, never or rarely?
> 
> ...


For those that can reliably reach orgasm during PIV there is _nothing_ like it. Sure, a guy can use his fingers, tongue, and toys to give his partner orgasms, but if she can orgasm from PIV alone I think there is a good chance that going without that specific irreplaceable feeling is going to cause some level of discontent.

Also, I suspect there is a bit of Big Dong Energy missing. Not about the size of the dong as much as about it being average or above and the dong owner being straight up confident in his masculinity, his sex appeal, and his ability as a lover. Maybe that BDE triggers OP to soften and become open to a romantic mental and emotional connection.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

CallingDrLove said:


> If you had never gotten a taste of larger **** and became a size queen you would be happily oblivious and never known the difference.
> 
> I’m getting visions of throwing hot dogs down a hallway and a wizard’s sleeve


This sort of thought isn't necessarily true. 

It's correct that the woman wouldn't know the difference but she would absolutely know if something felt good or not. She may not know what "good" can feel like but she will know if it feels good or if it's not doing anything for her. 

As I said in an earlier post, my wife commented on how her ex-BF was "small" and that she couldn't feel much. He was her first (consensual-ish) partner. So while she had no clue what "good sex" could feel like, she knew it didn't feel good and that he felt "too small". And being "too loose" was/is definitely not a problem - quite the opposite, honestly. 

Obviously the OP does know what "good sex" can feel like so she does have that feeling to compare, but being unsatisfied can happen either way. Comments like that likely are not helpful for someone who is actually struggling with this.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I’m not sure what advice to give here but I guess this could be chalked up to sexual incompatibility. That happens, but you married him knowing his size so not sure why it’s becoming a dealbreaker now? Maybe you thought your feelings would change or he’s amazing in other ways?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> It's correct that the woman wouldn't know the difference but she would absolutely know if something felt good or not. She may not know what "good" can feel like but she will know if it feels good or if it's not doing anything for her.


Agreed. Calling the OP names and implying she's immoral isn't really helpful and probably isn't true. And certainly, being a virgin when she married wouldn't fix this problem, it would just make it harder for the OP to identify and verbalize.

I don't fault the OP for having this issue, but I would like to know why she would wait until after the marriage to bring it up and I cannot justify telling a man that he's inadequate because of a physical characteristic over which he has no control and about which you knew prior to marriage. That is just mean. It's like if a man started cheating on his wife because he prefers tall women and she's short. He knew how tall she was before they got married, WTAF? Just cruel and pointless. There is no excuse for deliberate cruelty. 

There are of course lots and lots of ways to get past this so she could be satisfied, and most of them aren't even kinky. But if she were interested in those, she wouldn't be here. Plus, it's just so mean to say that.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Just to be clear a lot of the harsh words at the OP aren’t because she was sexually active before she was married but because she seemingly applied different rules in regards to her “culture” for past sexual partners versus the man she would marry.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

The problem with this whole situation is that apparently (and you can't change that) OP prefers men with bigger penis, and that's that. You can't change that. To some women to be fully satisfied they need to feel a big one. But, the main problem is that knowingly, she married her small penis husband, and "surprise" she's not happy.

lots of advice about many other ways to be satisfied and achieve the big O, yes, it's true and dandy, but ultimately, she would always miss what she wants: a bigger one. That's a deal breaker.
I would like to know why she married him knowing that he wasn't satisfying her with his small (to her) penis.


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## Tuscany (10 mo ago)

TJW said:


> You need to recognize that it is you at fault here. Societal rules have their basis in TRUTH. If you had not been promiscuous, and had adhered to the value system you were taught, you would not now be experiencing this difficulty. You and your husband would be working together to create a good and satisfying sex life for both of you. You would have arrived at marriage with no other experience, other than your husband. And, therefore, you would have been pleased and blessed to have your husband's penis, no matter what its size.
> 
> Instead, you are adopting an attitude of entitlement, that somehow God has endowed you with the right to have a bigger penis. If this is what you continue to put into practice in your life, your marriage will be ruined.


What?? How did your "God" get into this? She would be "blessed to have her husband's penis"?  

Certainly you are free to live according to whatever societal norms you choose, but women remaining sexually inexperienced until marriage has not historically equated to the creation of good and satisfying sexual lives for women. FFS. 

The fact that OP is sexually experienced and knows what it feels like to have satisfying sex is not the problem. The problem is that she married her husband knowing that they are not sexually compatible, but mostly that she is not addressing this issue with him in a mature and appropriate way. If she were willing to do that, they would be able to work with what they both are able to bring to the situation.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> When I was in university I used to love having sex.





> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage)


You couldn't sleep together before marriage, yet you did sleep with guys prior to him.

What am I missing here?

In any case I don't think him being "as big" as you are use to is the problem. I'm thinking you simply want other men.

But, in the off chance that isn't the case, he can see a doctor, possibly take Viagra. 

Again, though, I don't think him having a bigger d*** is going to make you happy.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> P.s. I would really appreciate if the advice isn't that I shouldn't have married him because it's too late for that now. *I can't put my family through me getting divorced less than a year after getting married.*


Oh, about this. Tough s**t. Because the alternative is you will end up cheating on this poor guy.

Set him free. He needs to be able to find someone compatible and loving.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hmm… too late for that one I think.
> 
> No advice really, there isn’t a treatment for that AFAIK.


Viagra, so I'm told, apparently does enhance size a little. There also could be penile implants, but the idea of that makes me shudder.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

.


BeyondRepair007 said:


> OP’s first post in the Welcome forum, together with this one, paints a picture of a tender-hearted young lady that is doing the best she can in a strange world that maybe she didn’t expect and doesn’t know how to handle.
> 
> Some comments on this thread are a little harsh, I hope OP isn’t further disillusioned about marriage or the ability for TAM to help her.


I hope my comment isn't harsh. If it is, I'm sorry.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)




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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I see this as more of an overall attraction issue.

There are a lot of folks in solid and satisfying marriages that didn't marry the person that rocked them the best or were even the most sexually compatible but there was enough of an overall attraction to work with.

For example, I had some experiences with some very nuclear hot women in the sack where all the synapses fired and there was nothing but protoplasmic vapor in the atmosphere afterward.

Mrs. C and I had to do a little work on that aspect and we did improve. (It's hard not to with decades of commitment).

The deal sealer between us was a great number of very strong likes and attractions aside from straight up sexual performance.

@Greenkiwi456 , if you really found your husband attractive, you would be interested in working it.

If he has a micro penis, he's probably out of luck with just about anyone but if he's around average or just under, you two should be able to work together with it.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

End it before you have kids with this guy and utterly ruin his life.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

Not gonna comment on the small/ big of the pleasure stick...

What I want to know... is HTF do you go 2.5 years with itsy-bitsy AND THEN marry it?

Like what the actuall hell? 

Buyer's remorse... that's for used cars.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

I feel like this guy needs to be put on suicide watch. Telling your husband, oh by the way, you are too small for my tastes. I can imagine the response would go one of two ways... rage or depression. It seems it was the latter.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I'm only 28, I can't live the rest of my life in a sexless marriage.. please help me
> 
> P.s. I would really appreciate if the advice isn't that I shouldn't have married him because it's too late for that now. I can't put my family through me getting divorced less than a year after getting married.


You know it's true If you were unhappy while dating the time to make a change was before you walked down the aisle.

Since you foolishly married him anyway & you claim not to want a divorce it's time to reset your thinking Find things you like about him. Think about why you married him, unless it was that you were using him to get out of something else. 

You complain because he's allegedly smaller than you are used to. Tough cookies. How would you feel if he complained your boobs were too small? 

That doesn't condemn you to a sexless marriage. Presumably your husband is happy to have sex with you. You however are rejecting him for a reason he can't fix. That is unkind & unfair. You married him so now you have to live & have sex in the bed you made.

If he's otherwise a good man, celebrate those qualities & do whatever you have to -- i.e. use your own hand -- during intercourse to compensate for what you selfishly claim is his shortcoming.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> She has sampled larger size(s) and maybe that is a core component of her enjoyment. So right now she’s not enjoying sex and she’s just thinking of the big D that he can’t provide.


Good grief, she has a good marriage but wants to throw it away for an extra inch?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

RandomDude said:


> View attachment 85709


One of the three biggest lies women tell


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Good grief, she has a good marriage but wants to throw it away for an extra inch?


Appears that way.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

D0nnivain said:


> You know it's true If you were unhappy while dating the time to make a change was before you walked down the aisle.
> 
> Since you foolishly married him anyway & you claim not to want a divorce it's time to reset your thinking Find things you like about him. Think about why you married him, unless it was that you were using him to get out of something else.
> 
> ...


It's probably too late she already told him he is too small and doesn't satisfy her sexually. I don't know how you over come that if you are the guy. It's not like losing a few pounds, you can't grow an extra inch or two. What do you do with that information?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Good grief, she has a good marriage but wants to throw it away for an extra inch?


She may have a good marriage. Her husband does not.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> It's probably too late she already told him he is too small and doesn't satisfy her sexually. I don't know how you over come that if you are the guy. It's not like losing a few pounds, you can't grow an extra inch or two. *What do you do with that information?*


File for divorce, drop her off at her parent's house and tell them the divorce is happening because she's a size queen. And also tell them she had lots of sex while in college, since that goes against what her parents believe in.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> It's probably too late she already told him he is too small and doesn't satisfy her sexually. I don't know how you over come that if you are the guy. It's not like losing a few pounds, you can't grow an extra inch or two. What do you do with that information?


If she was so cruel as to tell him that, he has no choice but to divorce her. I wouldn't stick around to be married to someone so superficial & heartless. 

Better now, before kids, when he has plenty of time to pick up the pieces of his life.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> It's probably too late she already told him he is too small and doesn't satisfy her sexually. I don't know how you over come that if you are the guy. It's not like losing a few pounds, you can't grow an extra inch or two. What do you do with that information?


Well, I would say they should first try to fix the issues in the bedroom (better technique, etc). However it would be very hard for a man to even bother trying after hearing that. And even if they do figure out it can be fixed/improved, will he ever believe that it feels good now and he's big enough? That she's not dreaming of the bigger ones she's had? Probably not. 

Unfortunately for him those words will never be forgotten, divorced or not. Meanwhile the OP can just go off and enjoy all the large ****s out there. She probably really ****ed him up.


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## HappilyMarried1 (Jul 21, 2021)

Sorry @Greenkiwi456 for your issue. However one thing I don’t understand you say the size of his package is not what you were accustomed to, but what I’m having trouble with is if that is really the only issue why do you not even what him to touch you. There are a lot of ways you and your husband can be extremely close besides the actual intercourse. I guess my question is why would you not want to explore other options with your husband to show your love and pleasure each other. I’m afraid you need to look closer at your marriage they seem to be other things that you are feeling just besides being unsatisfied with the intercourse. Best of luck!


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> OP’s first post in the Welcome forum, together with this one, paints a picture of a tender-hearted young lady that is doing the best she can in a strange world that maybe she didn’t expect and doesn’t know how to handle.
> 
> Some comments on this thread are a little harsh, I hope OP isn’t further disillusioned about marriage or the ability for TAM to help her.


"Tender-hearted young lady"?

Nowhere in her post did this come across. Nowhere!!


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

sideways said:


> "Tender-hearted young lady"?
> 
> Nowhere in her post did this come across. Nowhere!!


That was my sense of it.
YMMV and it’s fine.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> ...It's not like losing a few pounds, you can't grow an extra inch or two. What do you do with that information?


1st you order a **** sleeve... then you give it her good. Then you let her know she's 'too big' and you haven't enjoyed it either over the years. Then you put it in her dirt star because it's 'tighter.'

Then you get your financial statements in order and head off to the attorney. 

That's what you do with that info.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Rooster Cogburn said:


> 1st you order a **** sleeve... then you give it her good. Then you let her know she's 'too big' and you haven't enjoyed it either over the years. Then you put it in her dirt star because it's 'tighter.'
> 
> Then you get your financial statements in order and head off to the attorney.
> 
> That's what you do with that info.


I once read that a guy trying to get his woman to do anal is the only time he’ll try to convince her he has a small ****.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Rooster Cogburn said:


> 1st you order a **** sleeve... then you give it her good.


That won't do it. She already said she wants the feel of a real penis. And let's face it, it's likely alot about the visual for her. Just like if I'm turned off by a flat chested woman, that'd be like saying she can just throw on a prosthetic set of boobs. Uh, no.



> Then you let her know she's 'too big' and you haven't enjoyed it either over the years. Then you put it in her dirt star because it's 'tighter.'
> 
> Then you get your financial statements in order and head off to the attorney.


I can hear it now. Attorney asks, "grounds for divorce?" OP's husband..."well, imagine sticking a hot dog in a jar of mayonnaise"

Attorney: "nuff said".


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

drencrom said:


> That won't do it. She already said she wants the feel of a real penis. And let's face it, it's likely alot about the visual for her. Just like if I'm turned off by a flat chested woman, that'd be like saying she can just throw on a prosthetic set of boobs. Uh, no.
> 
> 
> I can hear it now. Attorney asks, "grounds for divorce?" OP's husband..."well, imagine sticking a hot dog in a jar of mayonnaise"
> ...


Fair enough.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

drencrom said:


> File for divorce, drop her off at her parent's house and tell them the divorce is happening because she's a size queen. And also tell them she had lots of sex while in college, since that goes against what her parents believe in.


Yea, that up there with infidelity as deal breakers. Tell me I'm fat, stupid and hairy but not that! Hope he's not a schmuck that thinks it's his fault and tries to make up for it in other demeaning ways. Because his 'I'm sorry" after being told he has a short ****, feels like that may be his route, that is if he doesn't off himself first. OP watch for signs.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

All I can say is that OP's husband deserves far better.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Are either of you overweight? If so, lose the weight. Things will rapidly start to improve.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

bobert said:


> There isn't much coming back from telling your husband he's too small though. A time machine?


The damage has been done, her husband may never be able to get it up again with her or any other woman either. So his size is irrelevant. 

So much for her not wanting to hurt someones feelings. I see someone who only cares about themselves.

Between lines I read the OP fishing for approval to cheat with someone her size.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> The damage has been done, her husband may never be able to get it up again with her or any other woman either. So his size is irrelevant.
> 
> So much for her not wanting to hurt someones feelings. I see someone who only cares about themselves.
> 
> Between lines I read the OP fishing for approval to cheat with someone her size.


Some things you just can't come back from
....this is one of those things


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jsmart said:


> More like an alpha widow. If she was having sex with above average specimens, her expectations are now going to be very high. Problem for her is that these types of guys are usually not looking to wife a woman like her. Even if they did, how much of a catch are they really? There’s a reason she married this guy. I’d bet he’s probably fairly successful or has the potential to be. Could the same be said for her past hookups?


Above average as in they are larger? How does that make a guy above average in anything?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)




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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

I think the OP sounds like a horrible person who did her many really wrong but I’ll second weight loss. My weight has been up and down my whole life and unfortunately I’m up right now but I’ve added multiple inches and hardness just with significant weight loss. The length is there it’s just encased in pubic fat. Also there was definitely some growth in length and girth with testosterone replacement therapy. Now my wife has told me I’m the biggest she’s ever been with and I hit the cervix too often so I don’t have that problem but I certainly feel for the guy.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)




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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)




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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Some?


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

so_sweet said:


> .
> Also, why doesn't he use his fingers or tongue? Out of curiousity, how many inches is "small"?


fingers, tongue and toys are great and all, but I think the average woman likes/needs to get plowed every now and then; at least everyone I've been with. I don't think a woman can live happily the rest of her life with just fingers, tongue and toys, but that's just my experience.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Good grief, she has a good marriage but wants to throw it away for an extra inch?


Maybe he’s inches off what she prefers/needs. If she has been with a guy who is giving her A spot orgasms or something like that then he might need to be packing some high heat to get the job done.

The real travesties here are that things got this far and that she actually told him that.

If a woman is like, “Don’t want no, don’t want no SHORT SHORT man! It takes more than you got to get me there!” Erm might as well stick a fork in it because that marriage or relationship is over.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> View attachment 85715


Wait what 😳😬😲🤯


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Maybe he’s inches off what she prefers/needs. If she has been with a guy who is giving her A spot orgasms or something like that then he might need to be packing some high heat to get the job done.
> 
> The real travesties here are that things got this far and that she actually told him that.
> 
> If a woman is like, “Don’t want no, don’t want no SHORT SHORT man! It takes more than you got to get me there!” Erm might as well stick a fork in it because that marriage or relationship is over.


Yep, she put the death knell in that coffin and then lowered into the earth and sealed it with concrete.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

This young lady might have a similar issue and she made a “short” documentary on the subject.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Mybabysgotit said:


> fingers, tongue and toys are great and all, but I think the average woman likes/needs to get plowed every now and then; at least everyone I've been with. I don't think a woman can live happily the rest of her life with just fingers, tongue and toys, but that's just my experience.


Oh, I agree 100%. 
I meant he could pleasure her that way in addition to intercourse. 

My experience is that I don't orgasm with only actual sex. So how it works is I'm satisfied first and after hubby has enjoyed in other ways too, THEN we have sex--that right there is amazing and I then do orgasm with actual sex. 

I guess that's what I was thinking when I posted earlier.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> Oh, I agree 100%.
> I meant he could pleasure her that way in addition to intercourse.
> 
> My experience is that I don't orgasm with only actual sex. So how it works is I'm satisfied first and after hubby has enjoyed in other ways too, THEN we have sex--that right there is amazing and I then do orgasm with actual sex.
> ...


And, that took removing every shy fiber of my being to post that!! I'm normally rather shy/not so bold to talk so personally about my sex life. Maybe this forum is good for me?! LOL.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mybabysgotit said:


> fingers, tongue and toys are great and all, but I think the average woman likes/needs to get plowed every now and then; at least everyone I've been with. I don't think a woman can live happily the rest of her life with just fingers, tongue and toys, but that's just my experience.


Of course they can if they love the guy. Plus they clearly ARE having piv sex but she just wishes he was larger.
I mean about 50% of men presumably are smaller than average and 50% larger so it's very common to be with a guy with a smaller one. 
In the end it depends on how much she loves him and meant her marriage vows, but she may well have just sounded the death knell on her marriage anyway by what she said to him.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> Above average as in they are larger? How does that make a guy above average in anything?


It’s not just size, which seems to be very important to OP. There’s also confidence/swag or what @MJJEAN perfectly coined big d!ck energy. Guys who have that energy/vibe do very well with women, especially the younger hotter women. These are usually the types that have a zero F’s given, rebellious types that women think they can change but only end up getting their hearts broken. I know you’re not one to have been impressed with such things but it’s a real thing. Though I wonder what early 20s Diane was like?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Are you asking us to help you 'not' think the way you have indicated you are already thinking?

Or do you just want the roadmap to how this ends?

Here is what I can assure you won't address the issue. Talking about the size of the penis attached to the man you married but aren't attracted to.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Or just buy him a c0ck sleeve FFS.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jsmart said:


> It’s not just size, which seems to be very important to OP. There’s also confidence/swag or what @MJJEAN perfectly coined big d!ck energy. Guys who have that energy/vibe do very well with women, especially the younger hotter women. These are usually the types that have a zero F’s given, rebellious types that women think they can change but only end up getting their hearts broken. I know you’re not one to have been impressed with such things but it’s a real thing. Though I wonder what early 20s Diane was like?


I was married with a mortgage and a child in my early 20's😊
Never was interested in guys like that though. I like guys who are calmly self assured without any need to show it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

All kidding aside, there is nothing wrong with OP being a size queen. The only problem here is that she went through with marrying someone who can’t measure up and then shattered whatever confidence he may have had and cut his life into pieces; now it’s his last resort.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> All kidding aside, there is nothing wrong with OP being a size queen. The only problem here is that she went through with marrying someone who can’t measure up and then shattered whatever confidence he may have had and cut his life into pieces; now it’s his last resort.


Exactly. A woman can desire Costco size summer sausages all they want... no biggie that is their own desire. 

But AGAIN, 2.5 YEARS of itsy-bitsy... and MARRIED it. NOW she wants a bunch of.44 magnums. Unreal.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

jsmart said:


> @MJJEAN perfectly coined big d!ck energy.


I was going to try and have some fun about fearing the "LDE" and tried to find a guy holding up his pinky but apparently there is some sort of movement really talking about this nonsense.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> All kidding aside, there is nothing wrong with OP being a size queen. The only problem here is that she went through with marrying someone who can’t measure up and then shattered whatever confidence he may have had and cut his life into pieces; now it’s his last resort.


Makes me wonder how much money he/his family has.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

I wrote various answers to this and desisted of each one.
The polite ones were meaningless.
And the meaningful ones were too...ya know.
But I found some words to say to the OP, hoping the best.

Love or not you are not in love whith him.
May be you deserve a larger one. He surely deserves a fully grown up woman in love with him.
None of you have now what each one need of life.
Be kind to yourself and specially to him and take different roads.

Best wishes.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

"BDE". Seriously?

I know guys who need a map and a guide to get lucky who scare cattle when they drop their drawers and absolute players that are definitely "sporty" in that department.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> "BDE". Seriously?
> 
> I know guys who need a map and a guide to get lucky who scare cattle when they drop their drawers and absolute players that are definitely "sporty" in that department.


“Scare cattle.” I LOLed in the car and almost got busted, dude. That’s so funny.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Interesting discussion on "size" - 
dealing with the size issue (and not touching the rest of the issue(s) with a barge pole)

Try this: G Spot in Women: What It Is, How to Find It, and Sex Positions

If that doesn't work - toys? If that doesn't work - legal counsel?


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Notice OP hasn't been back.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


First of all, you probably hurt him and your relationship with him in ways that you can not comprehend. Potentially in ways that your marriage can never recover from.

Your posts are those of a woman who is quite sexually confused. Being married to a man with a smaller than average penis is not a sexless marriage, unless you cause it to be. It is you that don't want him to touch you for foreplay, so if you have a sexless marriage it will because of you or the way you have treated him.

Next, I hope you understand that few women reach orgasms through PIV stimulation alone. In most women the "g" spot is located about an inch from the vaginal opening. G spot location


> There’s a small area called the Grafenberg spot, or G-spot, inside the vagina. It’s located about an inch or so inside the vaginal opening on the upper vaginal wall — closest to the bellybutton.


 Now lets go to another source to find out what the medical definition of a micropenis is.



> In an adult, the average stretched penile length is about 13.24 cm (5.21 in.)Trusted Source. An adult micropenis is a stretched penile length of 9.32 cm (3.67 in.) or less.


Therefore you statement that "......*he's not big enough to reach my G Spot*......." is probably not factual unless is penis is much smaller than you have stated in your post.

I think you could really use some sessions with a marriage counselor who is also a board certified sex therapist. Perhaps she can explain some basic biology to you. Explain how you and your H can have satisfying sexual relations, and most importantly help repair some of the emotional damage you have inflicted upon your poor husband.

Good luck, seek professional help.


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

First of all, thank you for the harsh but fair responses. And thank you to the people who did offer some support.

I am not very good at articulating myself, so I would like to clarify a few things.

I absolutely do love him, he’s great in every other way, he makes me happy in everything else, this is just the one thing that I am having trouble with.

In response to the several things people have mentioned


I definitely do need to take a look at myself in the mirror, i am aware that what I’m saying and feeling is selfish as he is a great person
In regards to the culture. Yes in my culture we aren’t supposed to have sex before marriage, so we never went to each others houses and that’s why we had to do it in the car. I didn’t say that I withheld sex from him because of my culture, I just couldn’t do it because we didn’t have anywhere to go to do it. my previous relationships were while I was at uni, I lived out, I had my own space so I didn’t have to worry about parents or family being around.
He's definitely not rich or comes from a rich family. He has a pretty average income as does his family, so I didn’t marry him for his money
I am not too big for him. I actually find sex painful at the moment which I think contributes to my lack of willingness to do it because I’m scared of the pain.
When I said what I said to him last night, and he replied ‘I’m sorry’ I don’t think he even heard what I said because he was half asleep when I said it and acted completely fine the next day. Sorry is also his response in any disagreement we have, he cannot find words to communicate when we have had any disagreements in the past, so all I ever get is ‘sorry’. We very very rarely argue, and when we do instead of coming up with solutions together, I just get a sorry.
I would never cheat on him. I’ve never cheated in my life and I’m not going to start now no matter how hard things get.
He doesn’t have a micro penis. I don’t know the length, I’ve never measured it, but I’m guessing around 4 inches erect.
The reason why I'm not in the mood for him to touch me is because I've overthought it so much and been feeling quite down about it, that as I'm not in the mood for sex, that makes me not be in the mood for anything else. Of course we hug and kiss and cuddle and that sort of stuff.
I am not blaming him at all, I am 100% the problem, its my brain and my thoughts. He hasn't done anything wrong. 
When I say I need help, I mean help to change my mindset or look at it in a different way. Maybe because previous partners have been bigger than him, I know what I like to feel and I just don’t get that with him unfortunately, but I really want to.

Many of you are saying that you shouldn't tell a man that he's too small for you. But I guess I just don't know how to communicate to him that I'm not getting what I need from the intimacy. I've always heard you should communicate when one person is not happy about something in the relationship. So if I can't talk to him about that then what do I do? He gets what he needs from the sex, so he leaves happy and goes to sleep happy, and that's great for him, but I unfortunately don't. I'm not saying its super bad, I'm just saying I know what good sex feels like and I haven't gotten with him.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


You two are going to have to have open conversations about what else he could do to get you off and there are many ways to do that. He needs to be working on the other spot. It's not all about inside.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Young at Heart said:


> Being married to a man with a smaller than average penis is not a sexless marriage, unless you cause it to be. It is you that don't want him to touch you for foreplay, so if you have a sexless marriage it will because of you or the way you have treated him.


She cant stand to be touched by a guy unless he is hung like a horse. So it IS a sexless marriage by her choice, words, and actions. Her husband will never again be able to rise to the occasion. He should file for divorce and let her get plowed by every buggun she can attract.


----------



## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> @Greenkiwi456 , please respond to some of the posts.
> 
> It might seem a bit harsh but you have to admit you opened with a pretty harsh situation.
> 
> There are many here who will try and help so don't be scared off.


I have posted a reply, but its at the end of the thread. I don't know how to post it so its at the top and also don't know if everyone will know that I posted? I'm not familiar with the platform


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Rus47 said:


> She cant stand to be touched by a guy unless he is hung like a horse. So it IS a sexless marriage by her choice, words, and actions. Her husband will never again be able to rise to the occasion. He should file for divorce and let her get plowed by every buggun she can attract.


NOT true and NOT Fair. 4 inches is smaller than normal.

OP I wasn’t joking about the weVibe.
What you need to focus on is how to get more pleasure with what he has. The we vibe will stimulate your clitoris and g spot. It will also make things tighter as it’s worn during sex. A butt plug may help as well.


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> First of all, thank you for the harsh but fair responses. And thank you to the people who did offer some support.
> 
> I am not very good at articulating myself, so I would like to clarify a few things.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately, there is no answer. I mean if you want him to have a bigger ****, it ain't happening. If you want to change your mindset, you can try a therapist but I don't know if that is going to change anything unless there are really other issues. One thing you need is to figure out if this is a deal breaker for you, because if it is the honorably thing is to get out now before you get in any deeper (smirk).


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> NOT true and NOT Fair. 4 inches is smaller than normal.
> 
> OP I wasn’t joking about the weVibe.
> What you need to focus on is how to get more pleasure with what he has. The we vibe will stimulate your clitoris and g spot. It will also make things tighter as it’s worn during sex. A butt plug may help as well.


So if you shove enough instruments in, he will actually feel bigger?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I have posted a reply, but its at the end of the thread. I don't know how to post it so its at the top and also don't know if everyone will know that I posted? I'm not familiar with the platform


By responding and/or liking on a post will give a notification to whoever you are responding to.

I appreciate that you are corresponding with us.

I sincerely hope you are able to get help for your situation.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Unfortunately, there is no answer. I mean if you want him to have a bigger ****, it ain't happening. If you want to change your mindset, you can try a therapist but I don't know if that is going to change anything unless there are really other issues. One thing you need is to figure out if this is a deal breaker for you, because if it is the honorably thing is to get out now before you get in any deeper (smirk).


Actually, my impression of OP is that she really isn't that experienced or knowledgeable and this might be an issue that can be resolved with her husband.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Actually, my impression of OP is that she really isn't that experienced or knowledgeable and this might be an issue that can be resolved with her husband.


It might could have been except for what she told him. She says he didnt hear her. That is the only chance.

Btw she has enough experience at uni to know what she likes. Once she felt the thrill of the big top, a small tent just wont cut it.


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> By responding and/or liking on a post will give a notification to whoever you are responding to.
> 
> I appreciate that you are corresponding with us.
> 
> I sincerely hope you are able to get help for your situation.


There are too many responses and I wanted to respond to everyone in general as many of the responses are similar rather than send that same reply to everyone one by one. Many of them are quite mean so I didn't feel like responding to those to be honest. I'm already feeling crappy, I don't need to feel any worse than I already do by responding to that.


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> It might could have been except for what she told him. She says he didnt hear her. That is the only chance.
> 
> Btw she has enough experience at uni to know what she likes. Once she felt the thrill of the big top, a small tent just wont cut it.


He definitely didn't hear me.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rus47 said:


> It might could have been except for what she told him. She says he didnt hear her. That is the only chance.
> 
> Btw she has enough experience at uni to know what she likes. Once she felt the thrill of the big top, a small tent just wont cut it.


Well I've seen quite a bit in this arena and my take is what it is.

Believe it or not, I helped a couple with the opposite problem.

The guy was packing a horse missile and she was not enjoying it.

Arousal was the key and OP is displaying the exact same cues as the lady married to the guy loaded for cows.


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> The damage has been done, her husband may never be able to get it up again with her or any other woman either. So his size is irrelevant.
> 
> So much for her not wanting to hurt someones feelings. I see someone who only cares about themselves.
> 
> Between lines I read the OP fishing for approval to cheat with someone her size.


He didn't even hear what I said, he was half asleep. And I would never cheat.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> First of all, thank you for the harsh but fair responses. And thank you to the people who did offer some support.
> 
> I am not very good at articulating myself, so I would like to clarify a few things.
> 
> ...


Thanks for coming back and posting this. I hope everything works out well and I wish you all the best. Take care.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Telling your husband that his penis is too small is horrible. I sincerely hope that he didn't understand what you were saying due to being tired. Otherwise, he may never be able to come back from that. Never tell him that again.

This isn't because his penis is too small. It's because you want something different. If you are not being satisfied, getting rid of foreplay is not going to improve your sex life. It will make things much worse. 

You are mistaken about your G-spot. It's not located where you think it is. It should be easily reached with a finger, which can be done during foreplay. If what you are referring to is closer to your cervix or actually your cervix, there are things that can help with that such as different positions and even placing something against the cervix during intercourse.

The problem here seems to be that you are unwilling to try different things. You think it's penis size that is the problem when it's a lack of creativity and affection for your husband that is causing this. If you truly care about your husband, you would NEVER attack his sense of manhood. You would not deny him sexual affection either. I think your definition of love is incorrect, if it includes destroying your husband's sense of value by criticizing his genitals and denying him sex. That's closer to hate than it is to love.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

OP I am sorry that you came here for help and in general you triggered every small penised man within a 100 mile radius.

in general better sex comes from communication. You tried to communicate a problem but as was pointed out it’s not something he can change. But you two can work on more pleasurable experiences. Another way to feel more is in doggie position you can tilt your hips which can also help you hit the g spot.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

If you don't like what someone has to say (and you are right that some people have been very rude and unhelpful) you can put them on "ignore". That will stop you from seeing their posts. 

As already mentioned there are things that you can try to have a better experience in the bedroom. The question is, are you willing to try those things?


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> OP I am sorry that you came here for help and in general you triggered every small penised man within a 100 mile radius.
> 
> in general better sex comes from communication. You tried to communicate a problem but as was pointed out it’s not something he can change. But you two can work on more pleasurable experiences. Another way to feel more is in doggie position you can tilt your hips which can also help you hit the g spot.


I bet many men who responded are anything but small penised but what we are is empathetic to a fellow man who is being ridiculed by his wife. Funny how any guy that says something you don’t agree with gets labeled as having a small penis.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anastasia6 said:


> you triggered every small penised man within a 100 mile radius.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

CallingDrLove said:


> I bet many men who responded are anything but small penised but what we are is empathetic to a fellow man who is being ridiculed by his wife. Funny how any guy that says something you don’t agree with gets labeled as having a small penis.


Turn about is fair play and there have been plenty of low shots taken at the OP.

Hopefully, everyone can settle down a little and maybe someone can get some help here.😉


----------



## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> I see this as more of an overall attraction issue.
> 
> There are a lot of folks in solid and satisfying marriages that didn't marry the person that rocked them the best or were even the most sexually compatible but there was enough of an overall attraction to work with.
> 
> ...


I think this does play a part because I'm obviously attracted to him but there are a couple things that play into why I'm not feeling in the mood. for example, dental hygiene is really important to me. He hasn't been to the dentist in 10 years. before we got married I asked him to please go to the dentist and get a regular check up and cleaning done so his teeth were clean for the wedding. and that is something people do every 6 months. It's taken him 2.5 years to make the appointment for the dentist. He only booked it a couple of days ago. He looks really good when he's dressed up to go out and I'm the type of person who likes to ( or tries to) dress well whenever I go out, even if its just shopping or to the supermarket. whereas he lives in joggers. And I like my comfy clothes too but he has no interest in trying to look good unless its for a wedding or party or something


----------



## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> Actually, my impression of OP is that she really isn't that experienced or knowledgeable and this might be an issue that can be resolved with her husband.


Well maybe the problem is her experience has spoiled her to some extent and she's craving monster mandingo. She says she isn't going to cheat and I want to believe her, but I'm not sure I buy it, especially around the 7 year itch mark and he still ain't curling her toes. And by then they could have kids and then divorce is 100x worse.


----------



## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> If you don't like what someone has to say (and you are right that some people have been very rude and unhelpful) you can put them on "ignore". That will stop you from seeing their posts.
> 
> As already mentioned there are things that you can try to have a better experience in the bedroom. The question is, are you willing to try those things?


Thank you for the suggestion. Because I'm not in the right headspace right now I feel like no I'm not willing. But I do want to get that headspace where I am willing. Im not a stranger to a vibrator or dildo, but I don't know why, I feel very self conscious and embarrassed to use them. Ive only ever used them privately on my own


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Can we just define attraction as “the desire to have sex with someone” so that women can stop saying “I’m attracted to him” and then in the next breath “I don’t want to have sex with them”.


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> Can we just define attraction as “the desire to have sex with someone” so that women can stop saying “I’m attracted to him” and then in the next breath “I don’t want to have sex with them”.


Attraction is not only the desire to have sex with someone. Attraction comes physically and emotionally. You can be attracted to somebody's words, actions, the things that they do for you. But that doesn't mean you want jump into bed with them. I've seen plenty of attractive people, I've not wanted to have sex with any of them. I've been on dates with men I've been attracted to, I didn't want jump on each and every one of them 😂


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> @Greenkiwi456 Yours is certainly a tragic story.
> 
> My thoughts are not aligned with other voices that think you should divorce. In fact I applaud your desire to stay married even when the situation is difficult.
> 
> ...


Thank you very much for your advice and support


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> OP I am sorry that you came here for help and in general you triggered every small penised man within a 100 mile radius.
> 
> in general better sex comes from communication. You tried to communicate a problem but as was pointed out it’s not something he can change. But you two can work on more pleasurable experiences. Another way to feel more is in doggie position you can tilt your hips which can also help you hit the g spot.


Thank you


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Attraction is not only the desire to have sex with someone. Attraction comes physically and emotionally. You can be attracted to somebody's words, actions, the things that they do for you. But that doesn't mean you want jump into bed with them. I've seen plenty of attractive people, I've not wanted to have sex with any of them. I've been on dates with men I've been attracted to, I didn't want jump on each and every one of them 😂


I stand by what I said.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

OP thanks for coming back. If you’re interested in trying I think @Anastasia6 brings up a great idea with the toy. That particular one I am familiar with and I can also vouch for it.

If you’re really into an A spot orgasm, Etsy has the best quality extensions, not a straight up dildo they’re worn over the penis and they’ll custom make them to basically any inner and outer size you are looking for.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> First of all, thank you for the harsh but fair responses. And thank you to the people who did offer some support.
> 
> I am not very good at articulating myself, so I would like to clarify a few things.
> 
> ...


I'm glad you returned OP 
I hope you forgive my roasts, after a while on this forum you see so many penis threads it's hard to resist making fun of them.

Maybe try communicating it to him through a fantasy, reaffirm him that his size is adequate for now, but that you have fantasies about being 'filled' or him going in 'deeper'. As he becomes more acceptant of your needs and desires slowly bring up solutions. 

It's a very difficult conversation to have yes, it's the same for men when our partners put on weight etc but I believe it's necessary. Both partners deserve to be sexually forfilled in a relationship. Do not ever bring up the other men, focus on your husband solely and treat it more as an 'expansion' to your sex life. My two cents anyway, as a redemption for my roasts.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> …it's the same for men when our partners put on weight etc but I believe it's necessary.


It’s not really the same. There are no recognized methods for increasing the size of the penis however losing weight is relatively straightforward.

It would be more like asking someone to be younger.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s not really the same. *There are no recognized methods for increasing the size of the penis* however losing weight is relatively straightforward.
> 
> It would be more like asking someone to be younger.


Huh what?! They all have been scams this whole time?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> NOT true and NOT Fair. 4 inches is smaller than normal.
> 
> OP I wasn’t joking about the weVibe.
> What you need to focus on is how to get more pleasure with what he has. The we vibe will stimulate your clitoris and g spot. It will also make things tighter as it’s worn during sex. A butt plug may help as well.


When he's on top, put your own hand down there and you won't miss the size that much. 

If he's behind you he can put his own hand down there in the front. My opinion is you're both going to have to learn to use your hands on your clitoris while doing intercourse to get off.

You're going to have to get over being embarrassed about it if you want to get off. And he should experiment with angles. If you put some effort into getting at a certain angle, he might be able to stimulate your clitoris while having intercourse. 

And you mentioned the G-Spot. Maybe it differs but I don't think you have to be long to hit the G-Spot and it's not that easy to find. And usually the clitoris is more important.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Huh what?! They all have been scams this whole time?


Maybe it’s the placebo effect if you believe it works, it works?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> Maybe it’s the placebo effect if you believe it works, it works?


We have had soooooooooooooo many penis threads over the years, including ones talking about penile enlargements, no way they all scams.


----------



## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Deleted what I wrote because post I quoted seems to be deleted.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

CallingDrLove said:


> I bet many men who responded are anything but small penised


Yes, ALL of the men on TAM are above average in size.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> First of all, thank you for the harsh but fair responses. And thank you to the people who did offer some support.
> 
> I am not very good at articulating myself, so I would like to clarify a few things.
> 
> ...


Well first off, does he know you acted out before you were married or did you hide it?

Second, he heard you. Right now he is desperately trying to figure out how to build a time machine.

There is no coming back from what you said. I mean imagine he said to you - "do you feel satisfied after sex? Well I don't because your breasts are too small." What the first thing you would think about every time you had sex, every time you were naked in front of him. You don't need your boobs to work to have sex. You don't have to feel sexy to preform he does.  You can just passively accept him, but if he gets caught up in his mind he won't function. Plus you can get implants, what can your husband do. Pray, I guess. 

If he stops having sex with you or suddenly can't preform then you know he heard you. Put a fork in it, it's done.

He is probably was already insecure about it as he is smaller then average, now he will have no doubt.

Someone need to tell women never to do this if they plain to stay with the guy. I mean this should be common sense.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Yes, ALL of the men on TAM are above average in size.


Everyone on TAM is a kazillionaire sex ninja. These are facts. ❤❤❤❤


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Well maybe the problem is her experience has spoiled her to some extent and she's craving monster mandingo. She says she isn't going to cheat and I want to believe her, but I'm not sure I buy it, especially around the 7 year itch mark and he still ain't curling her toes. And by then they could have kids and then divorce is 100x worse.


Statistically, guys with large units actually get cheated on at a higher rate.😉


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Everyone on TAM is a kazillionaire sex ninja. These are facts. ❤❤❤❤


Considering the significant amount of sexual problems that are posted about here on TAM, I would say that the majority here are like most people, so they are very far from being kazillionaire sex ninjas.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I think this does play a part because I'm obviously attracted to him but there are a couple things that play into why I'm not feeling in the mood. for example, dental hygiene is really important to me. He hasn't been to the dentist in 10 years. before we got married I asked him to please go to the dentist and get a regular check up and cleaning done so his teeth were clean for the wedding. and that is something people do every 6 months. It's taken him 2.5 years to make the appointment for the dentist. He only booked it a couple of days ago. He looks really good when he's dressed up to go out and I'm the type of person who likes to ( or tries to) dress well whenever I go out, even if its just shopping or to the supermarket. whereas he lives in joggers. And I like my comfy clothes too but he has no interest in trying to look good unless its for a wedding or party or something


Well here is some advice. Next time start with the things he can fix.


----------



## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

I'm trying to wrap my head around this. I'm not judging, everyone's different, but honestly for me personally I wouldn't give a damn if my husband had a small penis. I love him, end of story.

Though, if he hurts his hand at work (he works with his hands), we do have an ongoing joke where one us will say not THAT hand! LOL.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TBH I think rotten janky teeth are probably worse than a sub-par unit. That is one that can definitely be fixed (with money).


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sfort said:


> Yes, ALL of the men on TAM are above average in size.


Not me I'm sporty and I have "LDE"!😁


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Sfort said:


> Yes, ALL of the men on TAM are above average in size.


It must be true. FYI. it has been known that some people had mistakenly thought that I was walking with the aid of a cane.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> It must be true. FYI. it has been known that some people had mistakenly thought that I was walking with the aid of a cane.


As they say, a picture or it didn't happen!! 

Around town we see this man, maybe about in his 70s, and you can see the outline of his member through his pants, this snake-like long lump bulging through his pants. It must be halfway down his thigh. He's somewhat known around town for this. It's just shocking to see!


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Statistically, guys with large units actually get cheated on at a higher rate.😉


Statistically, women are silly and a little ungrateful. I’m mad at H right now for being a penis wrinkle but I apprentice his size.


----------



## Night Owl1 (Nov 6, 2020)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> I've been with my now husband for 2.5 years. We got married about 9 months ago.
> 
> When I was in university I used to love having sex. I don't know whats wrong with me, in the time I have been with my husband I'm just put off and I think its because the first time we had sex and I noticed he wasn't as big as I'm used to.
> we didn't have a lot of sex while we were dating (partly because it would have had to be in the car which I hate because in our culture we can't sleep with each other before marriage), but I think also partly because he just wasn't as big as I've experienced before.
> ...


Wow. How selfish and disgusting you are. How in the world do you date and have sex and do not realize he doesn’t turn you on??? I couldn’t believe what I was reading…I think for everyone’s sake, an annulment is in order here. You’re clearly not in love with him. By the way, there are many ways to “satisfy “ each other. Size isn’t everything. I suggest for future experiences, you consider expanding your sexuality. I’m usually very considerate, but in this case, I couldn’t help myself. Be kind and fair to yourself, find a new partner but be sure you like it before saying “I do” again….I feel really bad for your spouse. Your remarks clearly hurt him and will inevitably be the undoing of this marriage.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Night Owl1 said:


> Wow. How selfish and disgusting you are. How in the world do you date and have sex and do not realize he doesn’t turn you on??? I couldn’t believe what I was reading…I think for everyone’s sake, an annulment is in order here. You’re clearly not in love with him. By the way, there are many ways to “satisfy “ each other. Size isn’t everything. I suggest for future experiences, you consider expanding your sexuality. I’m usually very considerate, but in this case, I couldn’t help myself. Be kind and fair to yourself, find a new partner but be sure you like it before saying “I do” again….I feel really bad for your spouse. Your remarks clearly hurt him and will inevitably be the undoing of this marriage.


Not everyone is experienced, worldly or wise when it comes to this.

OP really isn't so experienced or knowledgeable.


----------



## Music4Life (9 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> I don’t understand her point of view. She sampled the goods before marriage. Now after a couple of years she’s decided the tool isn’t sufficient anymore? That seems really unfair.
> I suggest divorce. There’s just nothing he can do about his size, and there’s no fixing the attitude of a woman. Once the switch is in the off position, that’s where it stays.
> Sadly, she has brought a lot of needless pain to a lot of people, particularly her husband. You shouldn’t have married him OP. Correct that situation as best you can. Don’t stay and make everyone miserable. And don’t have kids with the poor guy.


Yeah this is all bad. Sound like she lacks some social awareness. There's a right and wrong way to go about telling a person anything under the sun - she just chose the way that totally kills attraction and goes to the core of a man's identity with his woman. SMH - I would be out the door if I were that man. Imagine a man telling a woman "you're just a little too big for me". The whole world would be in an uproar! 😂


----------



## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

so_sweet said:


> As they say, a picture or it didn't happen!!
> 
> Around town we see this man, maybe about in his 70s, and you can see the outline of his member through his pants, this snake-like long lump bulging through his pants. It must be halfway down his thigh. He's somewhat known around town for this. It's just shocking to see!


It's probably an untreated hernia.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm still kinda amazed all this time no one told me penis enlargement stuff are all fake. It doesn't even make sense there's this massive craze these days about changing genders and what not, and if this is true no one can even give a guy an inch or two to save his marriage lol


----------



## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> OP thanks for coming back. If you’re interested in trying I think @Anastasia6 brings up a great idea with the toy. That particular one I am familiar with and I can also vouch for it.
> 
> If you’re really into an A spot orgasm, Etsy has the best quality extensions, not a straight up dildo they’re worn over the penis and they’ll custom make them to basically any inner and outer size you are looking for.


Thank you I'll look into it. I'm not sure what A spot is but ill look it up, I apparently don't know what or where a G spot is either so I'll look that up too😅


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

With regards to OP's original post... she easily claimed that 2.5 years of itsy-bitsy wasn't 'good enough.' AND she told him. (He didn't hear it tho')

Now everyone's a dude with a small penis and doesn't know how to use it.

Hahah!


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

sokillme said:


> Well first off, does he know you acted out before you were married or did you hide it?
> 
> Second, he heard you. Right now he is desperately trying to figure out how to build a time machine.
> 
> ...


Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.

Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off. 

He's definitely not insecure about it and is actually quite oblivious to the fact that he's smaller than average, if you hear the things he compares it to.

Love and rships are about compromise and when you compromise as much as I have to be with him, e.g. living with his parents, having to be okay with the fact that he bought a property with his brother and dad just before we got married, and only told me about it on the day he got the keys, which now eliminates my first time buyer status because he isn't regarded as one anymore, constantly having to finish myself off after sex because he doesn't realise that I'm not done yet... sometimes, you snap. I shouldn't have said what I said, from all the comment's judging my character I can see that was wrong now, but when you're not getting what you need and the other person doesn't realise, you get to a point where you don't know what else to do. Hence why I came here, to look for help and support instead I got berated.

But no it's okay, as long as he is happy, it doesn't matter what I need


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

Rooster Cogburn said:


> With regards to OP's original post... she easily claimed that 2.5 years of itsy-bitsy wasn't 'good enough.' AND she told him. (He didn't hear it tho')
> 
> Now everyone's a dude with a small penis and doesn't know how to use it.
> 
> Hahah!


In the time we were together before we got married we had sex less than a handful of times, and in the back of a car. I put it down to 'it's just not great right now because it's in the back of a car with limited space'.. I didn't have enough of it to really understand what the reason was for me to not be feeling fully satisfied


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


Straight sauce... 

1.) He did hear it. If he had a pulse... he heard it. 

2.) Yes, marriage is a compromise. He compromised too. We don't get his side. But I assume it's equally as bad. 50/50 and all that

3.) TALK TO THE MAN. Some are more neanderthal than others. Some are more experienced. Some less. TALK TO THE MAN. Tell him you are not done and tell him to keep pumping. And do it with vigor and strain in your eyes. And then talk about it some more the day after. He will get it and he will improve because he loves you. 

On three... BREAK!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> But no it's okay, as long as he is happy, it doesn't matter what I need


I dont believe in compromises anymore, not after my last relationship... if I don't feel appreciated I would want to walk. This obviously means alot to you and it's going to keep bugging the both of you.

I noticed your openness to trying alternatives but is it really enough if he learns how to use it? Bc the truth of the matter is, if what others mentioned is true that all this penile enlargement stuff doesn't work, then you will never get the feeling you so desire.

I feel you need to make a decision and stick with whatever you want to settle with.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


@Greenkiwi456 TAM is filled with voices from every background, experience, and personality. It’s rare to find a thread where everyone agrees and there aren’t a few of the “uglier” voices. Sometimes that’s needed because it brings balance and additional perspective to a situation. Sometimes it’s just harsh without benefit. This thread seems to have triggered quite a few people. I encourage you to hear all the voices and consider if they are relevant to you. If not, simply discard them and move on.

As I said in my original comment, you really _must_ fix this situation with your husband. It is unreasonable at this point in your life to accept the status quo and simply live with it. That is unfair to both you and to him and would surely end your marriage at some point.

You need to work through the list of issues you have with him in an honest, safe, environment which to me, means counseling. You’ve had many suggestions related to sex life improvements, but I think you _can’t_ neglect these other issues in your relationship or you may never find real fulfillment and happiness in your sex life, regardless of the physical satisfaction.

I will be the voice in the minority (again) and say that I applaud your efforts at trying to communicate this issue with him. I absolutely would not advise you to say hurtful things like this to him… but the fact that you _want_ to make the effort to communicate and be open/honest is admirable. This attitude will be beneficial in helping fix the rest of the issues.

Good luck OP


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Concentrate on the things which he, and you, can change. Neither of you can change the size of his penis. Concentrate first on the things he does with you in bed which you like and which you find stimulating. Accentuate the positive..... Find things you like about his body, other than his penis. Think about THESE things. When you talk with him about sexuality, tell him "....I want you to *_*....", where *_* is something he CAN do.

Understand that your sexuality is YOURS. If you are not getting what you need, you have two basic choices. You can either find someone else to deliver it, or you can put what you want into your marriage. Either of these paths is possible. However, choose wisely..... you are going to be far more unhappy with your life if you move in with a wife-beater who happens to have a large penis.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

@Greenkiwi456 

Communication in a marriage is important but part of good communication is knowing when to keep your mouth shut. This is especially important when the situation can't be changed. Telling him you want him to go to the dentist is important. Complaining about the size of his penis is emasculating. You were wrong to say anything on that score because it's purely hurtful not constructive. 

I know you think he didn't hear you. For his sake I hope not but the more likely scenario is that you hurt him so deeply, that he was shocked into pretending to ignore you. 

You claim you brushed off his size because the sex you had was only in the back of a car & you thought the situation was the cause of the problems. Even if I believe you, which I don't, that doesn't explain you marrying him KNOWING about his poor dental hygiene. You say you asked him to see a dentist before the wedding but he only now made an appointment. I get not being attracted to someone because of their poor dental hygiene but you knew about that going into this too & you married anyway. 

Marriage is tough. That is the reality. It's not a fairytale. Now that you are married & finding this out, you are upset that it's not a walk in the park. You are looking for justification to get out & you want to blame him. 

If sex is physically painful your 1st stop needs to be YOUR doctor. Sex with a guy you claim is small should not hurt. Perhaps when you get your physical stuff addressed, things will look better. 

Finally re-read post #150. @DownByTheRiver gives you very practical advice. I would add that perhaps you & your husband should invest in a copy of a book called _The Joy of Sex_. You need practical advice about how to give & receive pleasure.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


It's obvious you have a lot of resentments of this guy. Was this an arranged marriage? 

Is it 'normal' in your culture that women are given lesser status than the men? I ask because the purchasing of property before the marriage which has affected your married life should definitely have been discussed with you (the intended) before purchasing. I'm afraid you have a lot of conversing to do to get on the same page as him. 

See a doctor about the pain you're experiencing with sex. And, remember (this is very important), never, ever even hint that you are not sexually satisfied because of size. Just buy a bunch of those items mentioned above and go about trying them on for size (ha-ha). Mens' egos are just too vulnerable when it comes to their packages.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


Are you sure there's not more to your history, and other problems in the M?


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## Greenkiwi456 (9 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> @Greenkiwi456 TAM is filled with voices from every background, experience, and personality. It’s rare to find a thread where everyone agrees and there aren’t a few of the “uglier” voices. Sometimes that’s needed because it brings balance and additional perspective to a situation. Sometimes it’s just harsh without benefit. This thread seems to have triggered quite a few people. I encourage you to hear all the voices and consider if they are relevant to you. If not, simply discard them and move on.
> 
> As I said in my original comment, you really _must_ fix this situation with your husband. It is unreasonable at this point in your life to accept the status quo and simply live with it. That is unfair to both you and to him and would surely end your marriage at some point.
> 
> ...


Thank you to you and the select few who offered some words of wisdom, I hear you and will be taking it all into consideration. I think its enough for me.
I came here looking for a safe space, unfortunately I didn't find that, I don't feel very safe here, so I won't be posting again. The next time I have a problem I think I'll suffer in silence. As you can't close a topic or turn off comments I'll be logging out instead.

Thank you again x


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ah, the harsh brigade has hit the target again...


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


I get the impression from your posts that you disregarded your cultural norms and have had sexual experiences outside wedlock which have defined your sexual expectations. The problem is that your husband does not measure up to your sexual expectations.

*Why did you marry him?*

You had sex with your husband before marriage and you would have an idea about his sexual inadequacy. 

You should NOT have married this guy. This is on you.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

But now that you have, let us consider other options.

*Is it about size?*

This cannot be fixed.

*Is it about longevity?*

Give your husband Cialis (5 mg) and see how it goes.

After taking this pill, your husband should wait 15 minutes for intercourse (time span for the pill to take effect). You two can have some foreplay in the 15 minute gap to create the mood.

If this pill allows him to achieve good erection and longevity then he will have the capacity to pleasure you better.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Well OP, you just tell him that lie that lots of women are conditioned to tell a guy when he's hung like a light switch and is looking for validation.

"Size doesn't matter, it's the motion of the ocean."

LOL.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I’m mad at H right now for being a penis wrinkle.


This made me spit out my coffee. I am adding “penis wrinkle” to my repertoire of road rage sayings.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I understand the OP's disappointment and I agree that some comments were pretty harsh. That said, it's a shame we didn't really get some of the answers we needed to offer a more balanced view of the unfortunate situation.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Yes, ALL of the men on TAM are above average in size.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> 
> Love and rships are about compromise and when you compromise as much as I have to be with him, e.g. living with his parents, having to be okay with the fact that he bought a property with his brother and dad just before we got married, and only told me about it on the day he got the keys, which now eliminates my first time buyer status because he isn't regarded as one anymore,
> ...


We finally get the real picture. 

He's a lousy, careless, selfish-centered lover. 

You assumed a bigger penis would fix those issues. 

Not even close.

OP you should start a new thread re the real issues. You'll get much better advice and a lot of support here. 

You mistook size as the problem.


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## csj77 (May 6, 2018)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


He sounds pretty selfish. If he cared at all about your orgasm, he would make sure he at least made you in some way.
You’re a better woman than I for staying with that.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Firstly, yes he knows my full relationship past and I know his.
> 
> Secondly he didn't hear me, I know the guy better than the back of my hand and if he had heard me I would have been able to tell from his face or the way he was with me the next day. No, he didn't hear me. once he was 'done' and got what he needed he went to sleep. He didn't bother to check if I was done, I finished myself off.
> 
> ...


In case you come back. Re read your initial post and tell me what exactly were you looking for? Validation from other women who's husband is hung like a light switch? Male size enhancer promos? What did you expect? We aren't miracle workers!

You gave out one issue penis size. Other than that he is sooooo great to me.

So guess what people see a self centered chick who married a man that she had little interest in sexually and is now in too deep and cant walk away because that would look bad. Then you come back and start throwing shade on his character later in the thread. Sounds like some pent up resentment. Maybe put that in the intro instead he is the greatest thing since sliced bread except his micro penis repulses me and my skin crawls when I'm alone with him.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Doesn't he realize you are laying next to him finishing yourself off or is he just that oblivious?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

thunderchad said:


> Doesn't he realize you are laying next to him finishing yourself off or is he just that oblivious?


We'll never know.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

thunderchad said:


> Doesn't he realize you are laying next to him finishing yourself off or is he just that oblivious?


Ladies always come first.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Greenkiwi456 said:


> Love and rships are about compromise and when you compromise as much as I have to be with him, e.g. living with his parents, having to be okay with the fact that he bought a property with his brother and dad just before we got married, and only told me about it on the day he got the keys, which now eliminates my first time buyer status because he isn't regarded as one anymore, constantly having to finish myself off after sex because he doesn't realise that I'm not done yet... sometimes, you snap. I shouldn't have said what I said, from all the comment's judging my character I can see that was wrong now, but when you're not getting what you need and the other person doesn't realise, you get to a point where you don't know what else to do. Hence why I came here, to look for help and support instead I got berated.


This is another communications issue -- your failure to be honest / straighforward. You can talk to your partner about them being an inconsiderate lover. You can't talk about size. 

Him making unilateral decisions is a problem. He should not have bought property without you. From his perspective he may have thought he was being a good provider / being the man. If you are not on the deed of the property he bought without you, you are still a 1st time buyer. When you buy something there are still ways for you to take advantage of 1st time buyer status. 

You are probably very frustrated & resentful of the living arrangements. I wouldn't want to initially live with in laws either. 

There are MULTIPLE problems in your marriage none of which have anything to do with the size of his penis. If you have mentioned those before you would have gotten vastly different more supportive responses.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*MODERATOR NOTICE:- *You were able to chase @Greenkiwi456 off. 

*You should be ashamed of yourselves. *

Sorry you didn't get the help you needed, Greenwiki.


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