# Have you figured out why you drink/drank?



## Cherry

Just wondering if any fellow addicts have figured out why you drank/drugged, or at least why you felt the need to use? I've always believed that alcohol is a symptom of deeper issues.

So tonight I realized I'm somewhat socially awkward (like a concert or even the mall) and alcohol always calmed me, soo if ever there was a large group of people, I would first make sure drinking a part of whatever gathering I was attending (or make sure I had access to alcohol) and secondly I would get somewhat buzzed before we'd go to whatever. 

I no longer feel socially awkward 95% of the time.. I don't know what happened. But it was a strange thought I had tonight and thought I'd see if anyone else has similar things happening


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## Sara Ann

Great topic! I was bored and lonely in my marriage. Now, 10 years later, my marriage is the best it's ever been! We are the same people, just wiser. My addiction experience made me a better wife.


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## Runs like Dog

self medication - turned on or turned off the voices in my head, depending on how I felt.


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## TBT

Started out because everyone I knew did it.Continued on into addiction because I found it was an easy way to forget about my life,if in the end only for a little while.


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## DrunkenH

Oh yeah. I drank mainly because I hated life but was too chicken to end it quickly. I'd get drunk enough to forget about pretty much everything. Eventually, it became physical. I couldn't really function without it. I'd sweat, shake, etc. Also, I couldn't fall asleep without it.


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## Another Planet

I just read a study about men and how they cope outwards which is why there are more alcoholic men. Unfortunately explains alot about me.


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## gbrad

Drinking does a number things. 
1. Helps numb the pain.
2. Relaxes you in potentially stressful times
3. Can help to avoid reality
4. Or can just be for a good time.


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## Awakening2012

Self-medication, escape from stress and anxiety -- in addition, I have the family genetics for it, plus was child molested (there is an extremely high rate of alcoholism and other addiction among people with a history of child molestation or other abuse).


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## YinPrincess

I like to drink but I've never been an alcoholic. Up until 3 weeks ago my husband and I had a routine of sharing a six pack, (I know, we're soo hardcore!) almost every night. I think we both used alcohol to avoid intimacy. Well, more accurately stated - he used it to avoid intimacy, I used it to cope. We no longer drink every night like we used to, and I'm okay with that. I've recently learned some information which is helping me to understand my husband better, and it's helped with my anxieties.

I still loooove my beer, but as an occasional thing only now. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wiigirl

I drank to relieve stress and to get to sleep. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cherry

Chris Taylor said:


> I drank just so I could eliminate the pain of a lot of different things for a few hours.
> 
> My therapist called it self-medication and the problems that I drank about would still be there when I sobered up. And while I agreed to an extent, I argued that yeah, I knew they would be there but I wanted a few hours of peaceful bliss where the only thing I had to worry about was not falling down a flight of stairs while the room was spinning. She didn't buy that.


I'm going to venture to say that the drinking for me DID get me through some tough spots in the past 20 years. I can remember one incident in particular. Over a decade ago.. I was moving 20 hours away from who I thought was THE love of my life... I could not bring myself to pack the house. A 12 pack later it was on and the whole house got shoved in boxes... The catch? It was the drinking that destroyed that relationship initially. Vicious cycle


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## DumbShat

I have no idea why I drank. Life was just more fun with a buzz. Cutting grass. Painting the house. Playing with the kids.

I guess after I while I just started to need the buzz.


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## in my tree

Yeah, depression, self medication and boredom. I still screw up sometimes but then I slap myself and get back on track. I don't ever want to go back to how I was.


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## 67flh

only reason i started drinking is i couldn't sleep,even as a little kid i've had sleep issues. now the "bright" drs,put me on meds,i sleep like a baby...but i hate the meds side effects.


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## Shaggy

I actually like the taste of good beer and good wine, and unlike soda it actually has some health benefits.


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## cloudwithleggs

I don't understand addiction, why do it to yourself, i suppose it is a self destruct, i understand that.

There are plenty of people though that have had difficult painful lives that choose not to hit total self annihilation, what is the difference?

Is it a choice?


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## Cherry

cloudwithleggs said:


> I don't understand addiction, why do it to yourself, i suppose it is a self destruct, i understand that.
> 
> There are plenty of people though that have had difficult painful lives that choose not to hit total self annihilation, what is the difference?
> 
> Is it a choice?


I drank for fun at first, sneaks up on you.. 

In active addiction, you often times don't see the destruction you cause, or if you do see it, you want to get drunk to forget about it... vicious cycle. 

Is it a choice? Excellent question and it is a choice, however, there are several factors of addiction in which that choice becomes less clear to a user.. be in lifestyle, family, friends, work, etc. For instance, during my divorce I had two close friends tell me they didn't think I had a drinking problem and that my only problem was my H. So anytime we'd hang out.. they'd keep the alcohol on hand and tell me to just have a good time. I was functional and seemed okay to everyone.. meanwhile I had been kicked out of my house for an alcohol induced incident... I had supervised visits with my young twins, I was in court ordered anger classes, I was in an intensive outpatient treatment center, etc... I had all these things going on and two really "close" friends egging me on to drink, etc. Sometimes our surroundings make us question if we really do have a problem.


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## Sara Ann

It's a choice. We do it for fun,because we are fun, we take risks, because it doesn't seem to harm anyone. Why did I choose to study engineering and someone else chooses a worthless degree like women's studies? Do they choose that degree so they can waste their money? No, we all believe our actions are for the best.

Lack of education is a big part of it. The scare stories in school turn out to be lies. If they lied about pot, they must have lied about everything else. Nobody told me what would happen and how it worked. This is what I wish I had known:

We choose our actions to get more happiness or less pain. At first, the drugs/alcohol makes us feel good, we come to depend on it, and pretty soon it is our best friend and therefore we cling to it so tightly. It becomes harder and harder to let go. We become afraid of what life will be like without it. Who would willingly give up their best friend, their lover?

In the meantime, the substance has reduced our ability to think clearly about what we do, and of course all actions change brain function. It becomes harder to see a way out. That's why I do believe in giving a helping hand to those wanting to get out of that trap.

Whether functional or not, substances interfere with our ability to feel and connect with life, and this wall between us and the rest of the world grows over time. We disconnect from our dreams.

The 12 step groups tell you that it's a disease you are born with and you are powerless, however this damaging theory has never been proven.


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