# IUD discharge = no oral sex



## Bottled Up

Ladies, I could use some advice here. My wife got a paragard IUD years ago (she didn't want the mirena hormone one) and as a result she has had constant discharge ever since. Not a ton of it, but it occurs daily and it's enough to gross her out to the idea of getting oral sex. So basically, despite my own expressions of desire to give her oral over the years, she absolutely does not want me going down there.

Now I started reading the book "She Comes First" and it started opening my eyes to the facts... that women only come to orgasm about 25% of the time with genital intercourse but oral sex has about a 90% success rating for giving women orgasms. The book introduces the ideology that oral sex should not be considered "foreplay", but rather as "coreplay"... basically giving it the same, full importance of genital intercourse and orgasm for men. And since men typically only last a few minutes before orgasm, then oral sex should become a routine practice BEFORE intercourse... thus allowing for her to "Come First" before the man gets off.

So my issue now is, in the essence of wanting to give my wife the same amount of pleasure and happiness in our intimate lives, I REALLY REALLY want to figure out a way to give her oral so I can increase the frequency of her getting orgasms. I even mentioned this book and told her I would be willing to work around the discharge issue with her somehow if it meant increasing her happiness. But she just can't warm up to the idea, she's too grossed-out about it.

Any suggestions what I can do to change her mind or action I can take that will still get her off more frequently than sex? I don't want to keep pushing her on the issue though... I've brought it up enough times over the years where she knows I know her disposition on the issue. Don't want to pressure her, but really want to pleasure her...


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

if it puts her mind at ease, have her first get a check to satisfy there is no infection.

have you noticed any difference in the smell?


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## that_girl

Does she complain about no oral?

Does she complain about your sexlife?

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

did she like it before the iud?
or she never has?


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## Bottled Up

2nd time: She has gone to the OBGYN a few times to check for problems but there's no issues. I do notice once in a while there is a strong smell, but it's more occasional and not frequent. And yes, she did like it before the IUD.

That girl: No, she doesn't complain... but I also don't know if she's just dealing with the consequences of not getting her needs met and keeping quiet about it. I certainly don't want her to end up down the road feeling like intimacy was only a one-way street and then getting resentful of that.


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## EleGirl

A man can give a woman an orgasm with his hand as well. Oral is not the only way to do it. Maybe if you start out more tha way and let her get used to that.. then you might be able to sneak in the oral, after a few times when she's really going.

The discharge she has might just be normal female discharge. I wonder if she read up more on this if she would ge more comfortabl with her body functioning in a normal manner.


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## Bottled Up

From what I've been reading, it seems like the discharge issue is pretty common with IUDs because there's this foreign object in the uterus and so the body is reacting to something that's not supposed to be there.

I wouldn't rule out the possibility that it is normal female discharge, but I am leaning heavily on the notion that it's the IUD causing it.


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## that_girl

The idea of an IUD freaks me out so much. lol.

Before trying to do all these things, just talk to her. She may be just fine. I'm not a fan of having oral done on me....maybe she isn't either. And i have plenty of orgasms. Sometimes, I don't even want to orgasm.


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## EleGirl

Bottled Up said:


> 2nd time: She has gone to the OBGYN a few times to check for problems but there's no issues. I do notice once in a while there is a strong smell, but it's more occasional and not frequent. And yes, she did like it before the IUD.
> 
> That girl: No, she doesn't complain... but I also don't know if she's just dealing with the consequences of not getting her needs met and keeping quiet about it. I certainly don't want her to end up down the road feeling like intimacy was only a one-way street and then getting resentful of that.


My point about it being a normal discharge is that it's not discharge from an infection or other decease. Since there is no infection that’s probably all it is.. normal female secretions.. .that always get to be more during sex.


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## EleGirl

that_girl said:


> The idea of an IUD freaks me out so much. lol.
> 
> Before trying to do all these things, just talk to her. She may be just fine. I'm not a fan of having oral done on me....maybe she isn't either. And i have plenty of orgasms. Sometimes, I don't even want to orgasm.


I had an IUD a long time ago. It caused me to have a pretty bad infection. When I went to the doctor about the pain from the infection he said it was not bad and not something to worry about because once the infection destroyed my ovary I would not be able to get pregnant and so I would not need the IUD. :slap:

What a nut job. I went to a different doctor and had it removed. 

It’s a foreign body in a delicate part of the body. They cause problems. I was very young and stupid when I got it.


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## that_girl

I used birth control for about 3 months in college. Never since.

OP, talk to your wife. She will have answers.


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## waiwera

Eww... I don't like anything about them... not one thing. 

Bottled up - dude you need to ask her all the questions you've asked us. She's the only one who can answer properly.
Great that you care so much! 

I've just finished reading 'He comes next'. 
Good books!


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## COGypsy

It could very well be the IUD, they have different effects on different people. I've had the Mirena for almost 10 years and love it. I've never noticed anything different going on as a result of it, but it's been a long time. 

I'd just reinforce what that_girl said. I'm not a big fan of oral. Unless I've already had a couple if orgasms, it does very little for me. I'm not embarrassed by it, I don't think its wrong or dirty or anything like that, it just doesn't trip my trigger, as it were. I prefer penetration, hands, toys, penis--that's what gets me going. It could be the same at this point for your wife. If she IS having orgasms, I wouldn't worry about how some book says she SHOULD have orgasms, ya know?


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## Enchantment

So, has she gone back to her ob-gyn to talk about this discharge? Most women have a light discharge normally - sometimes not that noticeable, but around ovulation you can have a lot more - the vagina is a self-cleaning thing, you know? 

However, any kind of unusual discharge with an IUD should be checked by her ob-gyn. And if it's due solely to the IUD, then have you considered a different form of birth control if it's totally obnoxious to her?

The fact that she seems willing to keep the IUD and endure daily discharge seems to indicate that she just may not be that interested in oral sex.

Sooooo, I would look to another method. You don't need to do oral in order to have an orgasm (as a matter of fact, it's very hard for me personally to O from oral, so everyone is different.)

You can use your hand, you can use a small egg vibrator (I love these), you can use different positions where your pubic bone grinds on her - such as her on top or the CAT (coital alignment technique - Google it - it's where you 'grind' on each other rather than do an up and down motion). Lots of things you can try.


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## Bottled Up

So I'm reviving my thread since I have an update. 2 weeks ago I finally got my wife to open up on the idea of me giving her oral, but I have yet to get there... she got her period right afterwards so there hasn't been an opportunity yet. But it's almost over now and I'm getting so excited for the opportunity that I actually shaved my goatee of 14 years today just to make sure her first oral experience in YEARS is as smooth as silk!!!!

LOL... am I crazy???


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## Chelle D

No. not crazy.

j


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## LovesHerMan

Keep communicating with her. Tell her that you want to explore what pleases both of you. Be patient and playful with her. She is lucky to have a husband who realizes that a mutually satisfying intimate life is one of the greatest joys of marriage.


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