# need advise



## angel eyez (Feb 15, 2013)

i am a 28 yr old female, married for 9 yrs, the thing is my husband was the first and only guy i have had sex with, and the thing is i dnt enjoy it, about two yrs ago i been havn sexual relations with a colleague, no feelings, just physical pleasure which i enjoy as it de stress me, and i have never had had such pleasure like this and in the same breathe it helps me cope with my husbands lack of sexual foreplay as im already getn a dose of it. i feel its helping my marriage, and this other guy knows its jus a sexual thing and no one would ever find out so does it make it right cos it helps his marriage too. is it reali wrong that this other guy, who is the only other person i hve ever been with sexually exept for my husband satisfies me in that way,


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

angel eyez said:


> i am a 28 yr old female, married for 9 yrs, the thing is my husband was the first and only guy i have had sex with, and the thing is i dnt enjoy it, about two yrs ago i been havn sexual relations with a colleague, no feelings, just physical pleasure which i enjoy as it de stress me, and i have never had had such pleasure like this and in the same breathe it helps me cope with my husbands lack of sexual foreplay as im already getn a dose of it. i feel its helping my marriage, and this other guy knows its jus a sexual thing and no one would ever find out so does it make it right cos it helps his marriage too. is it reali wrong that this other guy, who is the only other person i hve ever been with sexually exept for my husband satisfies me in that way,


angel eyes,
This is wrong in every way. 
Regardless of my feeling about adultery. You are being dishonest. Dishonesty is wrong in every case.
When I think about the people in this world that I value as humans and value their opinion, it's always people who are honest and trustworthy. What your doing is not either of these.

That is for starters. The second point is that it actually goes against your vows. I don't know how you did your vows, but most people do them if front of all the valued people in their lives and if you have faith, God. You made a vow, an oath. You are breaking it over and over again. This will blow up in your face.

If you are going to cheat, you need to be honest with your husband and start the divorce process.

You are wrong.


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## angel eyez (Feb 15, 2013)

i know its wrong..... but in the same way i have caught my husband numerous times over the past 8years cheating on me and i have forgiven him on all occasions, and remained fsithful through out that. divorce is not an option cos i do luv him, and i do not want to leave my husband for this guy, we are just together based on the sexual chemistry and yes we aso great friends, and we talk to each other about our marital problems and try to help each other,


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## dogman (Jul 24, 2012)

angel eyez said:


> i know its wrong..... but in the same way i have caught my husband numerous times over the past 8years cheating on me and i have forgiven him on all occasions, and remained fsithful through out that. divorce is not an option cos i do luv him, and i do not want to leave my husband for this guy, we are just together based on the sexual chemistry and yes we aso great friends, and we talk to each other about our marital problems and try to help each other,


Listen...you need to understand that people who LOVE each other don't do this to each other.

Have you had the conversation with you husband about your lack of satisfaction with your sex life?

If you have not been painfully truthful about it you are being dishonest and punishing him for not reading your mind.

You will do whatever you want but you came here for the truth and the truth is...if we want to we can justify almost anything we want to, just to be selfish and have our cake and eat it too.

If you forgave your husband that's a done deal. You didn't say, ok I forgive you but now I get to do what I want. If you did then maybe you are honest. But I think you didn't say that so now you will use it to justify your cheating.

Honesty...the older I get the more it matters.


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