# I am married but I know I am gay, please give advice



## gaybutmarriedjesse (Jun 13, 2013)

I came out when I was 18 but my Dad flipped out, he got cancer and asked me as a dying wish to marry a women. I did find a women who I do love but it has become a friendship but the only thing is we have a 10 year old girl together and her parents would take her away from me if I left my wife.

I talked to my wife about an open marriage but she became very upset and said no.

I don't know what to do! I need some advice, I am really new to this and I don't know how to Handel this.

Should I stay married and cheat until my daughter is older or I just don't know??

Please help!


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## gaybutmarriedjesse (Jun 13, 2013)

Please give me some advice! Thanks in advance!


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## donkey_punch (Jan 15, 2013)

Dunno, this seems like a joke, specially looking at your Avatar. Maybe get your wife to wear some of those dildo underwear and get some testosterone injections.


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## gaybutmarriedjesse (Jun 13, 2013)

donkey_punch said:


> Dunno, this seems like a joke, specially looking at your Avatar. Maybe get your wife to wear some of those dildo underwear and get some testosterone injections.


It's not a joke..... I love twilight that's why I picked the avatar and my wife would not wear a dildo.

I truly need help!


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

why pray tell,would your wifes parents take your daughter away? even in a ******* state like texas,she's still your child.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Either get a divorce, or stay married and be faithful to your wife.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Hicks said:


> Either get a divorce, or stay married and be faithful to your wife.


Ta Dah
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: I am married but I know I am gay, please give advice*



Hicks said:


> Either get a divorce, or stay married and be faithful to your wife.


Except he already put open marriage on the table and it was rejected, op won't get his needs met and so to probably his wife. Marriage is already over, do everyone a favor and divorce (you won't lose your daughter unless you abandon her)


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## gaybutmarriedjesse (Jun 13, 2013)

Her parents have money and power!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

You sure use a lot of exclamation marks in your posts.... /random observation.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

If you are gay and married to a woman, you should come out of the closet and get real for once in your life. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY. 

It's not fair for your wife to remain married to a gay man. If things are good, there is hope you 2 could have an amicable split and share visitation with your child.

It's not fair to your child, growing up thinking her dad is a straight man only to find out much later that he is gay. The exposure may be difficult or strange at first, but your child will still love you and will want you to be happy.

Most of all, it's not fair for YOU to have to live your life like that. You Dad was a azz for making you promise that, and you were an azz for agreeing to marry a woman in the first place. You are a gay man. You should live you life as who you really are. You should be happy in live, not living in fear or in the closet.

You should be honest with everyone, even yourself. Don't allow your Dad's nonacceptance dictate how you live your life.


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## jules1990 (Jun 13, 2013)

:scratchhead:

Why not pleasure yourself with a toy and make believe you are happy?

Or get her into toys and work towards getting her a toy to use on you?

Or am I seeing this wrongly?


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

donkey_punch said:


> Maybe *get your wife to wear some of those dildo underwear* and get some testosterone injections.





jules1990 said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> Why not pleasure yourself with a toy and make believe you are happy?
> 
> ...


Can't be serious


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

A marriage that is just a friendship is no marriage at all. You owe it to yourself and your W to divorce, IMO. Being gay does NOT make you an unfit father, and custody / contact issues would be decided by a Court, NOT your inlaws.

Unrealistic promises extracted by a dying person (parent or otherwise) are often made under stressful conditions and the person doing the promising is probably feeling pressured and not thinking clearly... IMO, you made an unrealistic promise to your father, which you kept, but this does not mean that you have to live the rest of your life as lie.

Time to come completely clean with your W and for you to free one another from this relationship.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would say you are bi-sexual.

If you're married to a loving wife, spice up the marriage with many sex toys, oils, movies, dress up, etc. She could be the man, you know? I've seen that on a tv documentary some time ago where the wives wear a dildo and have doggie sex with their husbands. Not something I'd try, but different strokes for different folks.

What experiences and events did you have that made you think you are gay?

By divorcing your wife over this, could really destroy her!!!

Being married is for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, you get the idea and not just a piece of paper.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I would say you are bi-sexual.
> 
> 
> What experiences and events did you have that made you think you are gay?
> ...


What are you talking about? What make you think he's bi when he's telling you he's gay?

Does anyone ask you what makes you think you might be straight?
Does anyone ask you when you decided to go straight?

You don't become gay or straight, you are born that way. If he says he's gay, he knows more than anyone what he is. He's gay.

If he was bi, he would say that he's bi.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

=/

Kinda tough if your old man (rather selfishly... no offence) asked you on his deathbed to marry a woman.

However, you've forfilled his wish. And you know what that means? You are free to divorce!


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Something is not quite not right here. You need to give us give us more details than this. As is it is not making much sence. Please explain more about your decision to marry and the 10 years you been married....have you been with a man....what make you think you are gay?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I would say you are bi-sexual.
> 
> If you're married to a loving wife, spice up the marriage with many sex toys, oils, movies, dress up, etc. She could be the man, you know? I've seen that on a tv documentary some time ago where the wives wear a dildo and have doggie sex with their husbands. Not something I'd try, but different strokes for different folks.
> 
> ...


The OP told us he is gay, not bi-sexual. He also told us that he asked his W for an open marriage, but she said no, and I'm presuming the marriage is sexless. IMO, this isn't a healthy situation for either the OP or his W.

As the OP is gay, I'm sure he's as likely to get as much out of playing sex games with a woman wearing a strap-on, as most heterosexual women would playing that role... How is his W supposed to feel fulfilled and desired, when she knows that she is the wrong gender for him?:scratchhead:

I agree that marriage isn't just a piece of paper, but these marriage vows were made and entered into between a gay man and a heterosexual woman. In most cases (but not all), this sort of relationship is totally unsustainable.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personally I feel he's led her on long enough. Hell does she even know?


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

What advice are you looking for? I was married to a closeted gay man for 8 years. Stop living in fear and let your wife go find someone that will truly love her. If you really loved her, you would divorce her.

Your excuse about her parents taking your daughter away is just that...an excuse. No judge in their right mind will ever take a child away from their parents, no matter how much money and power one side has, unless there is some evidence of abuse. Are you abusing your daughter? If not, you have nothing to fear.


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## Skate Daddy 9 (Sep 19, 2011)

I have heard of lots of men that get married have a few kids and then split and say it is because they are gay. First off the kids all end up hating the dad but here is what I think. I am a married man and every day I see women I would love to have sex with. I was at Disneyland recently and there were so many hot moms walking around that place. Do I have sex with them? No. Why? Because I am married and committed to my family and my marriage. How is your situation any different? Except that you would walk around Disneyland thinking it is a sausage fest, other than that nothing is different. When you get married you are expected to have sex with only your spouse, if you have feelings for other women or other men you put them aside. If I had come on to this forum and said I am married and have a child and I am really attracted to this woman at work and I would just not be true to myself if I did not leave my wife and go with here people would rip my head off, but because you say you are gay everyone is telling you to be your true self. Bull S**t if you ask me. If I was true to myself I would f**k any lady that was up for it, bring it on because that is my true self. But I don’t because I believe in family.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

During this open relationship conversation was it understood that you are gay and your wife will never be able to meet your needs?

Does she want to remain married to you knowing you are gay and she will never be able to meet your needs?

In this day and age I don't see how anyone can keep you from your child unless you are a danger to her or are negligent. Many couples end up divorced. Its a sad fact of life but not usually a fatal one. 

Life is short, my friend. PS - please do not cheat on your wife. You already married her under false pretences. This is hardly her fault, no need to punish her further.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Skate daddy - your example is not even. To be even you'd have to be at Disneyland seeing women you wanted to have sex with and you'd be married to a man.

If you think you could be married to a man and be happy for a lifetime all the while being attracted to women that's one thing - but I wouldn't believe you.


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## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

I agree with Miss Scarlett that being gay isn't quite the same as being married to a woman but lusting after other women at a theme park. 

That being said I don't even know what else to say. You knowingly stole 10 years of her life. All of my sympathy goes out to her and your daughter.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

gaybutmarriedjesse said:


> I came out when I was 18 but my Dad flipped out, he got cancer and asked me as a dying wish to marry a women. I did find a women who I do love but it has become a friendship but the only thing is we have a 10 year old girl together and her parents would take her away from me if I left my wife.
> 
> I talked to my wife about an open marriage but she became very upset and said no.
> 
> ...


How long have you been married?


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

That was a really selfish thing to do...for your dad to guilt you with that death bed demand. And on YOUR part. To marry a woman, build a life with her for 10 years, on the pretense that she believes you're straight.

Get a divorce. You really don't deserve your wife's love. I hope you are really repentant. While I understand it's HARD to come out of the closet, and that you were under duress from your father, you had no right to marry a woman knowing you were gay.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Please tell your wife the truth. 

You owe it to her and yourself. Good luck.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

if you do not tell you wife you are gay and continue this farce of a marriage then you are very very selfish. If you love her, tell her the truth. She already knows that something is not right with the marriage. She probably feels you are distant, or there is a disconnect, or the sex isn't there. Free yourself and free her and do it soon so that both of you can move on and have a chance at finding true happiness.

I would not stay married to your wife based on a deathbed promise coerced out of you. That was not fair of your dad.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Why did you get her pregnant if you knew you were really gay? 

You should divorce your wife, they can't take the kid away from you you're still her father.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

This is a difficult situation, I assume you just thought bring married would change you and you thought you could be happy.

I think if you haven't told your wife please do so, she is probably the only person who will understand you as she knows you the best. She may be upset and hurt but she shares a strong bond with you.

You both deserve to be happy now, your daughter will be fine. You are in an era where being gay is becoming more acceptable.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Your 10 year old daughter didn't pick her father. Doesn't much matter whether you are gay or a peanut butter sandwich. You made a choice and that choice resulted in the birth of a child. After 10+ years of marriage you wish you were occasionally having sex with someone other than your wife? I think most husbands can relate. Let's be honest here. You perpetrated something of a fraud on your wife. Your kid is also an innocent victim. How about getting your kid properly raised and then, if you must, get a divorce and be whatever you'd like to be. Your personal sense of well-being wouldn't be first priority. A father, gay or straight, does what's best for his kid.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Stay married. Do not cheat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

If you were truly 100% gay, you would never of married a woman just because your dad said so.

If you were 100% gay, you wouldn't of had sex with her, good friends, had a daughter together and stayed married for 10+ years.

You made your bed, now sleep in it.

Your daughter loves you, her dad. This would alter her life in a devastating way and your loving wife.

Wait until your daughter is at least out of the house and then divorce your wife and move on if you want what's best for your daughter, who did nothing to deserve this.

Again, if you knew 100% you were truly gay at age 18, this would never of happened, you would of moved on back then and that's that.

That's why I still say you are bi-sexual.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Really - we should waste 10 more years of this woman's life because there is a child involved? Does the fact that your husband is gay get easier to deal with at the 18 year mark? Easier to take than the 10 year mark? This child could have two sets of HAPPY parents to love her instead of one set that doesn't match. Does this wife not deserve someone that is truly sexually attracted to her? Does this husband not deserve to find his soulmate? 

Children are happier being raised by HAPPY well adjusted adults. There is no benefit in the child growing up with this relationship dynamic as an example of marriage.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

No he needs to divorce for his sake her sake and the daughters. 

He make a mistake he promised something he shouldn't have but I admire him for keeping his word.

It's not fair to his wife that he can't be attracted to her. She must feel unattractive and so confused if she doesn't know. She deserves to find love. The daughter has probably picked up in things as kids are not dumb they know when their parents don't love each other and sometimes they blame theirselves. 

Those who say he should stay married. I really hope your SO loves you, it must be awful for both of them to live like this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

No he needs to divorce for his sake her sake and the daughters. 

He made a mistake he promised something he shouldn't have but I admire him for keeping his word.

It's not fair to his wife that he can't be attracted to her. She must feel unattractive and so confused if she doesn't know. She deserves to find love. The daughter has probably picked up in things as kids are not dumb they know when their parents don't love each other and sometimes they blame theirselves. 

Those who say he should stay married. I really hope your SO loves you, it must be awful for both of them to live like this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

justonelife said:


> What advice are you looking for? I was married to a closeted gay man for 8 years. Stop living in fear and let your wife go find someone that will truly love her. If you really loved her, you would divorce her.
> 
> Your excuse about her parents taking your daughter away is just that...an excuse. No judge in their right mind will ever take a child away from their parents, no matter how much money and power one side has, unless there is some evidence of abuse. Are you abusing your daughter? If not, you have nothing to fear.


I disagree with the second part of this wholeheartedly. OP should get his legal ducks in a row FIRST and secretly before making any moves.

His in-laws are rich and powerful, and obviously have not demonstrated gay tolerance or he wouldn't be so afraid of them. People with influence plus bigotry will exert their influence on behalf of bigotry. Losing his child is a VERY real risk.

At the same time, I agree with the others that it's time for you to free yourself and your wife to lead lives of fulfilment now, not later. Get a good lawyer.


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

For the people who cannot believe the man is gay, consider: this is the result of a MALE who would "bend for a friend"....do the thing he doesn't really want to do under coercion of withdrawl of parental love. And now under coercion of losing his child. Losing his wife-friend. Losing everything.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

A lot of gay men, marry woman, have children and no one is ever the wiser. 
They carry on with the charade of being strait when they are not. They have affairs with men. This happens way more then we think it happens. 

I am not saying that gay men posing as strait men is the right thing to do, but they do it.. Mainly because the don't want to be gay and think that if they get married to a woman it will go away and/or they don't want anyone to know their true sexual orientation, because they are embarrassed and want to have a "normal" life.


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## forevermemorable (Oct 19, 2012)

When you said, "I do" at the alter, that is a life commitment! You need to stand by that commitment regardless how you feel. A marriage should not be based upon feelings, but commitment! You gave your word and you need to stand by it, even if you have homosexual passions, lustful passions, etc. I don't think there is a husband out there that has not been tempted in the area of lust with another women. Its what we do with that lust is the challenging part. You are in a marriage and when lustful passions come into your mind (with another women or of the same sex), you need to ignore it and cut it off from your way of thinking. Don't give lust an opportunity to plant a seed in your mind. And if a seed is already there, than uproot that seed and throw it away. You are totally in control of your life and your direction. Where do you want to go from here?

Do you want to skip out on your commitment and pursue after your lust and entice? Or do you want to stand firm by your oath before friends, family, and God and be a man of your word. Marriage is about commitment and just because feelings grow cold, does not give you permission to high-tale out of it. Because I promise you that you will NEVER have it any better than what you have right before you...and as a parent with a daughter...how awesome is that!?

You be the best father and husband you can be to your family! That is your calling in life. Put off youthful lusts and pursue your commitment my dear friend. You have it in you to aspire and rise up to the occasion. Stand firm and steadfast as a husband and father. That is the best way!


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I disagree with forevermemorable. Although you may have made a life commitment, you were being deceptive to your wife, so this isn't just about you honoring your vows, it knowingly deceiving your wife. It's not OK to deprive your wife of a wonderful and meaningful loving and sexual relationship. If this was just about a commitment you made to get a master's degree or a job or do a task, then it's all about you, but the very least that your wife deserves is full disclosure. it is totally not fair to keep this from her.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

forevermemorable said:


> When you said, "I do" at the alter, that is a life commitment! You need to stand by that commitment regardless how you feel. A marriage should not be based upon feelings, but commitment! You gave your word and you need to stand by it, even if you have homosexual passions, lustful passions, etc. I don't think there is a husband out there that has not been tempted in the area of lust with another women. Its what we do with that lust is the challenging part. You are in a marriage and when lustful passions come into your mind (with another women or of the same sex), you need to ignore it and cut it off from your way of thinking. Don't give lust an opportunity to plant a seed in your mind. And if a seed is already there, than uproot that seed and throw it away. You are totally in control of your life and your direction. Where do you want to go from here?
> 
> Do you want to skip out on your commitment and pursue after your lust and entice? Or do you want to stand firm by your oath before friends, family, and God and be a man of your word. Marriage is about commitment and just because feelings grow cold, does not give you permission to high-tale out of it. Because I promise you that you will NEVER have it any better than what you have right before you...and as a parent with a daughter...how awesome is that!?
> 
> You be the best father and husband you can be to your family! That is your calling in life. Put off youthful lusts and pursue your commitment my dear friend. You have it in you to aspire and rise up to the occasion. Stand firm and steadfast as a husband and father. That is the best way!


We'll said!! :iagree::iagree:


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

IsGirl3 said:


> I disagree with forevermemorable. Although you may have made a life commitment, you were being deceptive to your wife, so this isn't just about you honoring your vows, it knowingly deceiving your wife. It's not OK to deprive your wife of a wonderful and meaningful loving and sexual relationship. If this was just about a commitment you made to get a master's degree or a job or do a task, then it's all about you, but the very least that your wife deserves is full disclosure. it is totally not fair to keep this from her.


Hey, I totally disagree with forevermemorable too. This marriage is a fraud, and I seriously doubt that God would want us to make oaths under false pretenses. He married a woman to satisfy his father's wishes to have a straight son. This wife is suffering badly, because she knows that something is up. Women can sense this, and I'm sure the daughter does too.

This has NOTHING to do with standing up as a man before God. This oath was made under false pretenses, I hope they didn't get married in a church because he was straight up lying. Many gay men who are closeted get married for all sorts of reasons, status, appearing to be normal, or just trying to avoid the stigma of being gay.

This is one of the many reasons why I think that same sex marriage should be legal. It would prevent things like this from happening.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

For those saying this man should stay in this marriage - are you also saying you would be fine and dandy if your spouse was gay? Making a lifetime out of that - knowing your spouse would never feel more for you than a friend? Imagine how you would feel trying to make yourself be intimate with another man (if you are a man.) But you should - because you said you would a decade ago when you thought you might be able to.

I really cant believe some of these responses I'm seeing here. This woman deserves to be married to someone who can be physically attracted to her. Her life is ticking away the same as his.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

gaybutmarriedjesse said:


> I came out when I was 18 but my Dad flipped out, he got cancer and asked me as a dying wish to marry a women. I did find a women who I do love but it has become a friendship but the only thing is *we have a 10 year old girl* together and her parents would take her away from me if I left my wife.
> 
> I talked to my wife about an open marriage but she became very upset and said no.
> 
> ...


Hmmmm...something doesn't add up here. Note gaybutmarriedjesse's stats below:

About gaybutmarriedjesse

I am a:
Male
Relationship Status
Marriage
Length of time in current relationship:
4-8 yrs.
*Sexual Orientation
Bisexual*
Biography
* I have been married for 7 years and have a child who is 13*, I am confused because all I want is MEN and my wife and I have not had sex in 3 years -- I just cant. I need help and advice, I have a child with her and I do love her!


So, which is it, Jesse? Are you gay? Or are you bisexual? Also, not that Jesse hasn't been back since Monday, and I highly doubt he will be back now. However, I am one who does agree with forevermemorable. Assuming that this is real...Jesse, you made the commitment to your wife. Honor it.


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## forevermemorable (Oct 19, 2012)

MissScarlett said:


> Making a lifetime out of that - knowing your spouse would never feel more for you than a friend? Imagine how you would feel trying to make yourself be intimate with another man (if you are a man.)


The same thing goes with child molesters, murders, liars, bank robbers, etc. How many innocent people have been married to such? Isn't it always the quiet ones who are married with kids turn out to be murders? Would not anyone spouse turn back the clock if they knew that their spouse was going to turn out the way they do. And please note, I am not comparing homosexuals on the same level as these notorious people, I am trying to drive an extreme point home. And for those who don't like my extreme point, what about the adulterer? How many spouses would gladly not marry their fiancee if they knew down the line that they would betray them? I would venture to say 99.9% of them. And how many marriage end because of infidelity? And those reading this, have you had an affair? Have you ever cheated?

In other words, many marriages are created and built on false pretenses. Whether it is under obligation to please family members, arranged marriages, because you bored, because you are growing old, etc. These are lousy excuses to get married. And for those who marry under false pretenses or are married to others that were not upfront with them before or at the alter. You gave your word to death do you part. I think the exception is death or adultery. You see, this is why it is always good to have a few years of dating a person, so you can get to know them, before delving into marriage. A lot of marriage skip out on the figuring out who this other person is and they rely on their marriage to figure out who they married. Boy is this ever so backwards.

Never the less, marriage is not what it use to be, when people stood by one another no matter what came to them. They didn't just throw each other away, like a dirty diaper, but they work together to make something work. Now these days, if a person so much as says or does one thing wrong, there is no margin for mercy...just call the lawyer...fight it in court and use the kids as weapons against each other. And who cares about the kids anyways...its all about ME, ME, ME!

This is the world we live in today and many of those who respond on this forum have been hurt, kicked around, torn apart...and they have become bitter and angry at anyone and everyone and they are here in this forum to let others know about it.

Commitment! Its about commitment! Its always been about commitment! Make your marriage work! Flee form youthful passions. Its never too late to be what you might have been. You can continue to be the best father you can be to your daughter and you can be an awesome husband to your wife...if you allow yourself to.

Be strong and be a man! Stand by your commitment! Stand by your word! Its not about fulfilling your promise to your departed father, but to fulfill your promise to your wife. Your wife needs you to be a man...to be a husband...to be the father to your daughter.


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## Lovinghusband32 (Dec 4, 2012)

Try to show some sort of respect for your family and get a divorce. Living a lie in the relationship is absolutely horrible. Even more so for your kid.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

gaybutmarriedjesse said:


> I came out when I was 18 but my Dad flipped out, he got cancer and asked me as a dying wish to marry a women.


That was very selfish of him.

I'm dying- so please honor my last wish even if you don't want to, even though it's a lifelong commitment, even though it doesn't help me in any way, all because I asked you to.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

forevermemorable said:


> The same thing goes with child molesters, murders, liars, bank robbers, etc. How many innocent people have been married to such? Isn't it always the quiet ones who are married with kids turn out to be murders? Would not anyone spouse turn back the clock if they knew that their spouse was going to turn out the way they do. And please note, I am not comparing homosexuals on the same level as these notorious people, I am trying to drive an extreme point home. And for those who don't like my extreme point, what about the adulterer? How many spouses would gladly not marry their fiancee if they knew down the line that they would betray them? I would venture to say 99.9% of them. And how many marriage end because of infidelity? And those reading this, have you had an affair? Have you ever cheated?
> 
> In other words, many marriages are created and built on false pretenses. Whether it is under obligation to please family members, arranged marriages, because you bored, because you are growing old, etc. These are lousy excuses to get married. And for those who marry under false pretenses or are married to others that were not upfront with them before or at the alter. You gave your word to death do you part. I think the exception is death or adultery. You see, this is why it is always good to have a few years of dating a person, so you can get to know them, before delving into marriage. A lot of marriage skip out on the figuring out who this other person is and they rely on their marriage to figure out who they married. Boy is this ever so backwards.
> 
> ...


Brilliant and we'll said!!!:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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