# i betrayed my husband he left tonight,



## brokenwoman (Mar 29, 2012)

my husband and I have been together for going on 3 years we got married in aug and have a 10month old daughter
weve been through our ups and downs and trust has been broken both ways,, i myself am in recovery and i may ad he is not very supportive with the fact that i need to go to meetings to maintain sobriety,, anyways we both have said that since we got married we are devoted to eachother,, there is no excuse and i was in the wrong but i replying to a old email,, i wasnt really going to meet the person..i actually was so guilt ridden when i was coming home from work i was going to block my email account,, well he found it, he called me every name in the book, and stormed out that was at 945pm its 330am and he has not returned, and his badge for work is even still here. I feel utterly horriable,, and sick to my stomach,, i havent stopped crying and i cant sleep,,,ive betrayed his trust, which was already shaky,,,we were getting along really well,,,,honestly the computer can be a downfall for me,, especially when a member of the opposite sex starts paying me compliments and is offering me money to see him(which im not proud of) please try not too judge....iwish he d walk through the door,, and we could talk about this...i deleted my email account and i have no intention on ever going back on it, i want my marriage and my family,, and its bugging me i dont even know where he is crashing for the night i dont wanna go to work,, i have to get up and take care of our daughter and i feel like crumbling,, i dont even wanna go into work incase he comes home,,, just need help


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## Chrysalis (Mar 20, 2012)

Maybe you just hit bottom. This could be just what you needed to really, finally change, once and for all. The only one who can change, or make you happy, is you. Start living that choice, and accept his anger because it is justified. 

No more excuses!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

Sorry to hear that. One thing is good that you have recognized your mistake and the thing now is that how to get your man back! Just go to him. Tell him that it was your mistake and you will not do that again. I am sure ,he will give you a chance.......


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## brokenwoman (Mar 29, 2012)

thats totally true,, i thought i was over foolish games, i vowed to never ever get messed up with another man ever,,,and i havent ...i wasnt going to see it through,, but right now he doesnt believe me, and rightfully so, he wanted me to put his stuff on the porch today,,, hes so hurt,, if he comes home i may still have a chance but it will take time


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## brokenwoman (Mar 29, 2012)

i hope soo,,, i have a history of this,,, i used to use men for money...and i fell into that trap yesturday,,, he thinks i am a nasty prostitute and that hurts,,, i work almost full time and im trying to live good, my friend says i was self sabatoging,,,but i felt too guilty to go through with it,, it was old habbits,, i will give him his space


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What exactly do you mean "use men for money"? And what did the email he saw say?

I'm not judging, but the quick description you give doesn't sound flattering, and it sounds like its not the first time this kind of thing has gone on before. Or am I reading too much into it?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

brokenwoman said:


> i hope soo,,, i have a history of this,,, i used to use men for money...and i fell into that trap yesturday,,, he thinks i am a nasty prostitute and that hurts,,, i work almost full time and *im trying to live good*, my friend says i was self sabatoging,,,but i felt too guilty to go through with it,, it was old habbits,, i will give him his space


emailing man, other then your husband isn't trying to live good.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Trust takes a lifetime to gain, and only a moment to loose. I hope that your husband is able to forgive you, but realize you might have done something that ended it for good. Right now you have to focus on getting yourself better for you, and for your child. Your child is the true victim in this, focus on the child. The future is unknown (scary, yes) but unknown. 

If the worse does happen, use this as a learning experience for the future. 

Good luck to you.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

PBear said:


> What exactly do you mean "use men for money"? And what did the email he saw say?
> 
> I'm not judging, but the quick description you give doesn't sound flattering, and it sounds like its not the first time this kind of thing has gone on before. Or am I reading too much into it?
> 
> ...


Yes, it sounds like you are witholding... maybe not important to us on this board but of crucial importance to your H. Like proudandwiddy said, trust takes a long time to build and an instant to lose, so if your H eventually asks for R and you want it be completely honest and open with him, no trickle truth because each time you withold you lose the trust all over again...


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

If you are a broken woman, you need professional help. Please, for your sake and the sake of your daughter, do it. Having alcohol issues and using men for money are signs that something is deeply, deeply troubling you--a history of sex abuse, perhaps, or something else. Do NOT blame yourself for the past---But take responsibility for getting help for it now.

Whatever is the issue that keeps you broken, does your h know? If not, he may relent if you tell him your secret and say you will get counseling for it--but if you do not follow through, he will lose trust again.

And although you *say* you were not planning to meet the guy, no one that for sure. You've told your h, now quit using it in your defense--it is just words and means nothing compared to the action you took in sending that email. Actions speak much louder than words. Show your h you are changing, by your actions. Give him time to come around. Maybe he will.


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