# non-sexual activities that bond you



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

How many of you guys have a non-sexual activity or two that directly strengthens your bond with your W? And it has to be something you can do in your normal routine - not - take her on fancy vacation once a year. 

Mine are:
1. Playing tennis together (coaching her a bit)
2. Playing board games together


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

ok if a lady weighs in?

-going to concerts
-fostering a dog together,sharing the responsibility of helping the dog recover from trauma and teaching him/her how to function in a loving environment. (THIS has been the biggest bonding experience of all.)
-learning how to cook new meals together.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Scarlet,
What a great list. Fostering a dog - that is a special thing. I read "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" last year. 

As for the cooking thing - I should do that more often with my W. I like to cook - more than she does. I could make it fun for her with just a little effort. 




ScarletBegonias said:


> ok if a lady weighs in?
> 
> -going to concerts
> -fostering a dog together,sharing the responsibility of helping the dog recover from trauma and teaching him/her how to function in a loving environment. (THIS has been the biggest bonding experience of all.)
> -learning how to cook new meals together.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Martial arts, exercise and fitness, heavy metal music...


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

participating in all the kids sports activities....wait....thats all we do


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I think some of our best bonding times is playing cards or dominos as a family, which we try to do once a week. It's not one-on-one between my wife and I, but for around three hours, give or take, we do more talking and laughing than at any other time. It's great for opening the kids up, too.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

-Sometimes we play War (the card game) in bed together after we put our son to sleep
-playing uno and reading books with our 3 year old
-going swimming as a family
-taking the dog for a walk as a family 
-taking our little one for rides on the golf cart around the neighborhood..with the dog too!
-Sharing a bowl of icecream while watching a movie 
-Giving each other massages
-Sometimes hubby will brush my wet hair after a shower
-if I'm sitting on the bed and he walks in,he runs and jumps on me just to give me a kiss and squish me (I love it but I hate it lol)


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Sawney,
You two spar with each other? Do you have a substantial size/weight advantage? If so, do you do you do anything to offset that? 

I only ask because you are an inherently fair person. 



Sawney Beane said:


> Martial arts, exercise and fitness, heavy metal music...


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

eating together, sharing a bed.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Another woman here.

We love cooking together. We meal plan once a month or so, shop together and everything. We discuss recipes we find and then make them together.

We camp. We spent over a whole month camping last year  This year won't be as much, but we have two weeks planned in September and we're looking forward to that almost as much as we looked forward to going to Hawaii earlier this year! We like to camp near the city when one of us has the week off and the other can commute to work.

We watch football and go to all the home games for our team. We plan our weekends around the games, watch them outside on the deck if weather permits.

We shop together. Neither of us really likes shopping, so we keep lists of household stuff we need and every few weekends go out and round it all up together. We take turns driving


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## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

Lady here, but these are things H does with me that I love and keeps us close:

1. He's quite the artist, so he likes me to 'model' for him and he draws/paints lovely pictures of me  Makes me feel rather royal, and the banter during an hour session is always fun and flirty.

2. Cook together

3. Shower/bathe together - can be non-sexual if you try really hard haha

4. I ADORE the sound of my H's voice - I love it when he reads my favourite books and poems to me  Sometimes I read for him too.

5. Exercise together - I'll either join him on his morning run/jog, or sometimes I try to teach him yoga/pilates moves (although eventually he just gives up and likes to watch me haha)

6. Watching films.

7. Dancing! You don't even have to take her out - just clear some space, put on your favourite music (H made a mix CD specially!) and dance away  .... I love slow dancing with my H when it's that time of month (since I won't have sex then) - means there's still a way I can feel physically close to him without sex.

8. We love going to museums and galleries together. I especially love it when we go to galleries and he's telling me very softly in my ear the stories/history behind them 

9. We play slap-hand. He refuses to ever give my hand more than a tap, so it's extra fun for me  Once when we were dating, we got stuck in a ridiculously boring film, so we started playing slap-hand and it's been a favourite game since. He's tried to make up variations like 'slap-a$$' but I usually suggest 'slap-face' shortly after.... 

10. Just sitting together and talking. Sounds boring, but we're never short of things to discuss and I think it helps keep us on the same page, and communicate any problems we're having as individuals so we can tackle them as a couple.


I think it's lovely that you coach your wife at tennis! I wish my H would coach me in something like that haha... He had tried helping me play snooker once whislt dating, but it was really just an excuse for him to get close to my a$$ hahaha (his words, not mine!!)


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> Sawney,
> You two spar with each other? Do you have a substantial size/weight advantage? If so, do you do you do anything to offset that?
> 
> I only ask because you are an inherently fair person.


Why thank you!

To answer your question, sort of yes and no. 

I'm about 3" taller, and I've got about 10kg of bone and muscle on her, so I'm bigger, much stronger and have a longer reach.

Speed-wise there's very little in it, and probably not a lot in stamina either.

However, she's _much_ more skilled than me, in the sense of how far she's taken her discipline. But, her karate is very much a sport-based form, and my JJ is very combat orientated. She's competed a lot more than I have, but I've knocked people about "for real", as it were.

Neither one of us is sure exactly who has the edge...

We muck about a bit, but it's more a case of mutual interest in each other's disciplines, and "coaching" one another in the sense of encouragement. We're very, very careful, as we're both aware that if we go for it, we're each only one slip-up away from a broken jaw...


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## C123 (Jun 20, 2012)

Now that we have a little one, our best moments when it's just the two of us are when we open a bottle of wine and put in a movie we've seen 100 times after she's asleep. Because we've seen the movie so often we can talk whenever we feel like it and not worry we'll miss something! It always makes for a really nice night.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Tennis (playing and coaching her a bit) 
Reading (either at same time or discussing it together)
Ripsticking (Purchased one for a date and we both had tons of fun/ w/ some falls too. Learning new things together is great)
Cooking meals together
Playing phone/tablet games (We'll sit on the same couch playing words with friends/scramble and other two player games. She has the kindle fire and I'm on my phone.)


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

GT,
That is a beautiful thing - for the family. 

Now you need to find that analog - for just the two of you. 

Obviously it has to be fun for her - so she wants to make it part of your routine. For you, ideally it would to be something you are good at, and/or able to steadily improve at. 

Combining fun - and her seeing you do something you are skilled at - can be powerful. 

If possible, make it something physical. 
Fun + Wow he is good at this + endorphines = high impact




GTdad said:


> I think some of our best bonding times is playing cards or dominos as a family, which we try to do once a week. It's not one-on-one between my wife and I, but for around three hours, give or take, we do more talking and laughing than at any other time. It's great for opening the kids up, too.


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## His_Pixie (Jan 29, 2012)

Anything that makes us laugh! Laughing together is so incredibly powerful. Fortunately, we both have the same love of words and sometimes it's just a turn of phrase or a pun that gets us going. 

Baseball. I never used to enjoy it but he has taught me so much; it's become a common ground for us. (Go Pirates! Can you believe it?! 19 losing seasons and they're in first place. *fingers crossed*)

Our pets. We have too many cats and one dog. They give us lots to fuss over together.

My EX-husband and I did Shotokan Karate together and it was awful. I admire those who can exercise and spar together. I wanted to take a gun and SHOOT him when we were required by Sensei to spar together. We had different agendas when it came to exercise and it was a detriment to our marriage, not a help.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

long honest conversation. we can talk about anything together nowadays without each other being threatened by anything. I deeply enjoy those talks with her. I feel like I'm learning so much new stuff about her that I never knew. Things she was to shy or embarassed to talk about years ago. 

time together
her affection. I'm an affection ***** I admit it. but only her affection.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> long honest conversation. we can talk about anything together nowadays without each other being threatened by anything. I deeply enjoy those talks with her. I feel like I'm learning so much new stuff about her that I never knew. Things she was to shy or embarassed to talk about years ago.
> 
> time together
> her affection. I'm an affection ***** I admit it. but only her affection.


 I read this before I seen it was by you Stonewall..that's us again... Yep, my husband is an Affection ***** too, and so am I. 
If we was married to someone else, I think we'd smother them to death, but we genuinelly love the closeness. 

** Today we went to the movies (with the kids this time, we always sit next to each other with some snuggling , I throw my leg over him he carresses whatever is there, holds my hand, I touch him, lots of fun.

** Will be picking some ripe berries in the back yard tomorrow.

** We ride bikes together on a nearby 14 mile trail together.

** Take walks in our woods or go to a Park & do hiking trails hand in hand..

** We watch tv together at night / movies, anything one of us enjoys, the other happily is there -when we shut the kids out at night. 

** Just hanging outside on our swing or we lay under a Tree on a blanket sharing a book or just talking about our day, always something to talk about, laugh about, plan, learn , reminisce.

** Take bubble baths together, showers together - hey, it saves some water & it's fun too!

** We use to play a card came called "Canasta" - haven't done that in a while. Scrabble -but usually with some kids , or Apples to Apples . We are still bonding with our kids around us, I would say. 

** Give each other massages ...this is a weird one, we don't have air condioning, so at night under the fan, when it's really HOT -(been 100 degrees the last few days), I came up with this idea -to paint each other with water. Cools us right down. 

** We use to exercise together, got away from that, need to start again. 


** Rock concerts & Plays every now & then. Friends often come too though. 

It doesn't matter what we do really - We just want to do it together, just makes it more enjoyable to be shared.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Okey,
I think you two need some type of sport to play - with each other. 




okeydokie said:


> participating in all the kids sports activities....wait....thats all we do


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I did a thread in the Ladies Lounge asking similar: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/46607-activities-you-do-together.html

- We're still doing the trivia quiz together and lining up to go to a pub trivia night.
- Cooking. I used to prefer my own time in the kitchen to figure it out (as a novice cook) but he's expressed that he'd like us to cook together. We're enjoying this. I've also found a cooking class nearby as something different to do.
- Walk the dogs. Every night we walk the dogs together and chat about our day.
- I'm helping him learn how to play his instrument.
- Records! We love sharing music. We'll put the vinyl on and just listen to music or chat, snuggle etc.
- Farmers markets. Each weekend we go to the markets together for groceries. I pick out flowers for our home. We usually treat ourselves to tasty street food for lunch.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Ride motorcycles (she has her own), watch and comment on terrible movies


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

fighting. (as in arguments)

Gawd I miss a good fight (my ex and I rarely had them  )


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Cooking together
Photography (he's coaching me)
Back massages (non-sensual)
Researching and learning new things that catch our interest
Watching good movies together
Picnics
Scrabble
Grooming (I cut his hair and trim his whiskers)
Watching sunsets


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Walking with the delightful company and observations of a 3 year old - how I love those memories. 

Uno - we played that a lot - fun game. 

Massages - touch - is such a gift. 

As for the jumping on/squishing/kissing - that spontaneity - his joy at being with you - luckily we all have enough gumby in us that our "de-squish-ification" systems repair us. 



Ano said:


> -Sometimes we play War (the card game) in bed together after we put our son to sleep
> -playing uno and reading books with our 3 year old
> -going swimming as a family
> -taking the dog for a walk as a family
> ...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Laughing together is big. having a shared love of "...words... Anything else" is great.




His_Pixie said:


> Anything that makes us laugh! Laughing together is so incredibly powerful. Fortunately, we both have the same love of words and sometimes it's just a turn of phrase or a pun that gets us going.
> 
> Baseball. I never used to enjoy it but he has taught me so much; it's become a common ground for us. (Go Pirates! Can you believe it?! 19 losing seasons and they're in first place. *fingers crossed*)
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Intimacy is so special - blended with humor it is even better. She says "I wanted you to do x" and you just laugh out loud because back then, not knowing better, you thought just the opposite.




Stonewall said:


> long honest conversation. we can talk about anything together nowadays without each other being threatened by anything. I deeply enjoy those talks with her. I feel like I'm learning so much new stuff about her that I never knew. Things she was to shy or embarassed to talk about years ago.
> 
> time together
> her affection. I'm an affection ***** I admit it. but only her affection.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Affection slvts make the best partners. I asked my W that a few weeks ago "do I touch you too much?". She said no and proceeded to prove she meant it.
SA, you two spend a LOT of time together. We do also - nice being best friends and lovers. Exercise - together - is the best.

QUOTE=SimplyAmorous;895009]I read this before I seen it was by you Stonewall..that's us again... Yep, my husband is an Affection ***** too, and so am I. 
If we was married to someone else, I think we'd smother them to death, but we genuinelly love the closeness. 

** Today we went to the movies (with the kids this time, we always sit next to each other with some snuggling , I throw my leg over him he carresses whatever is there, holds my hand, I touch him, lots of fun.

** Will be picking some ripe berries in the back yard tomorrow.

** We ride bikes together on a nearby 14 mile trail together.

** Take walks in our woods or go to a Park & do hiking trails hand in hand..

** We watch tv together at night / movies, anything one of us enjoys, the other happily is there -when we shut the kids out at night. 

** Just hanging outside on our swing or we lay under a Tree on a blanket sharing a book or just talking about our day, always something to talk about, laugh about, plan, learn , reminisce.

** Take bubble baths together, showers together - hey, it saves some water & it's fun too!

** We use to play a card came called "Canasta" - haven't done that in a while. Scrabble -but usually with some kids , or Apples to Apples . We are still bonding with our kids around us, I would say. 

** Give each other massages ...this is a weird one, we don't have air condioning, so at night under the fan, when it's really HOT -(been 100 degrees the last few days), I came up with this idea -to paint each other with water. Cools us right down. 

** We use to exercise together, got away from that, need to start again. 


** Rock concerts & Plays every now & then. Friends often come too though. 

It doesn't matter what we do really - We just want to do it together, just makes it more enjoyable to be shared. 








[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Walking together is such a great activity. Some of our best conversations are from that.


UOTE=heartsbeating;895067]I did a thread in the Ladies Lounge asking similar: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/46607-activities-you-do-together.html

- We're still doing the trivia quiz together and lining up to go to a pub trivia night.
- Cooking. I used to prefer my own time in the kitchen to figure it out (as a novice cook) but he's expressed that he'd like us to cook together. We're enjoying this. I've also found a cooking class nearby as something different to do.
- Walk the dogs. Every night we walk the dogs together and chat about our day.
- I'm helping him learn how to play his instrument.
- Records! We love sharing music. We'll put the vinyl on and just listen to music or chat, snuggle etc.
- Farmers markets. Each weekend we go to the markets together for groceries. I pick out flowers for our home. We usually treat ourselves to tasty street food for lunch.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Washing and drying the dishes together. It is such a silly thing, but she cooks, so after the kids clear, I do the dishes. She relaxes a bit but once I start washing, she comes over to dry. We get to talk, and the kids are always scarce, as they don't want to get pulled in to doing work, so it is guaranteed alone time. Add to it lots of time for quick touches, flicking bits of water or soap suds at each other and squeezing by the other while putting things away, and it is surprising how much fun it can be.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Bikes,
That's a rush. I love dirt bikes - not so comfortable cohabiting the road distracted drivers in big cars while on a bike. 




Davelli0331 said:


> Ride motorcycles (she has her own), watch and commen on terrible movies


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

We do the research thing as well. My W gives the best massages - sensual and non. 



Cosmos said:


> Cooking together
> Photography (he's coaching me)
> Back massages (non-sensual)
> Researching and learning new things that catch our interest
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Tall,
Proof that being playful is more a mindset than an activity.




Tall Average Guy said:


> Washing and drying the dishes together. It is such a silly thing, but she cooks, so after the kids clear, I do the dishes. She relaxes a bit but once I start washing, she comes over to dry. We get to talk, and the kids are always scarce, as they don't want to get pulled in to doing work, so it is guaranteed alone time. Add to it lots of time for quick touches, flicking bits of water or soap suds at each other and squeezing by the other while putting things away, and it is surprising how much fun it can be.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Non sexual things that we do ,that help us bind [ In My Opinion ]

1] kayaking
2] Mountain Biking [ I am teaching her how to ride]
3] Weightlifting [She spots for me ]
4] Playing Computer Games. [She likes to/ always beat me .]
5]Cooking
6]We always look at movies together.[She is a movie critic , and " rates " my choices. It's hilarious , because she says she rates it from a " woman's" POV ] I cannot sit by myself and look at a movie....


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Caribbean,
I knew I'd be jealous of at least one of your choices - turns out it is kayaking. Do you take out a double or two singles?




OTE=Caribbean Man;896049]Non sexual things that we do ,that help us bind [ In My Opinion ]

1] kayaking
2] Mountain Biking [ I am teaching her how to ride]
3] Weightlifting [She spots for me ]
4] Playing Computer Games. [She likes to/ always beat me .]
5]Cooking
6]We always look at movies together.[She is a movie critic , and " rates " my choices. It's hilarious , because she says she rates it from a " woman's" POV ] I cannot sit by myself and look at a movie....[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MindOverMatter (Jul 1, 2012)

Wait.....what? We're supposed to bond with non-sexual activities??

Well, that changes everything.

Seriously though, a few of the things we enjoy:

Long dinners out (better tip well if you are overstaying your welcome at the table...haha)
Movies
General sight-seeing in our area
Live music
Political discussions (amazing, I know, but hey, it works)
Walking/biking


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

MEM11363 said:


> Caribbean,
> I knew I'd be jealous of at least one of your choices - turns out it is kayaking. Do you take out a double or two singles?
> 
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]

We do singles.
That is because she is very competitive.
She likes to race against me. I sometimes secretly let her win


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

Great posts!

-We take walks several times a week in the evening. Great conversations, some deep.
-We have mountain biked together, but wish we did more (too hot in TX!)
-Every night we downtime together by watching a recorded show or finishing a ball game (always funny 'Why did they do that?' questions about baseball)
-Go swimming with our daughter
-We try to eat out alone at least once every two weeks, even if just a quick meal.
-Lately we are in a Candy Crush competition on FB
-Play Wii Fit or Wii Sport Resort
-Light boxing (hand to hand)
-Sometimes we both just chase each other around the house seeing who can pin the other down or against anything


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## burgh_mom (Jul 9, 2012)

favorite bonding times with my new hubby...

*Rockband - he wants to learn guitar for real, is very good! plus the kids can play too
*Outdoor toys - teaching me how to drive the dune buggy and the quad
*motorcycle rides through the park - just love hanging on to my man, watching the scenery, no conversation, just us and the rumble of the engine and God smiling down at sunset
*suishi and sweet sake at a table for two - had him hooked the very first time he tried it, love it together now
*watching him work - my man is magic on a backhoe...could watch him "do his thing" for days...sometimes he lets me dabble a bit on the skidloader after hours if i promise not to make a mess!

...really anything that interests him interests me...was vice versa for a time too <3 best wishes


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