# Wife asking for divorce



## EndoftheLine (Jan 11, 2018)

s is the second time that wife has started asking for divorce. We have been married only 3 years. She was very socially active before marriage but after marriage, her social life is reduced to myself, our kid, and her in-laws. She goes back to her country once or twice a year but she has become very resentful towards her parents and lot of people since marriage. She says from time to time that there hasn't been a single happy day in this marriage and we are just too different. Her biggest complain is her in-laws. She thinks my mother, etc hate her and are always taunting her. I have confronted my mother in past couple of times but she straight up denies it. She is very biased towards her other daughter-in-law and favors her a lot and stays with her all the time. I think my wife has started getting depressed since her pregnancy because of all this and continuously expects me to stand up for her against anything she deems offensive from my family. On top of all this emotional stuff, I haven't been able to perform in bed for few months. I have gained lot of weight and I think I am also getting down a lot. I am just incredibly reserved about seeking medical health on this regard. Add all this up and I can understand why she says she hates me and wants divorce. I find myself wishing that I could go back in time and not waste her 3 years. I used to suggest counseling before but I have stopped now because honestly all this seems pretty hopeless. If not for my kid, I probably would have ended this marriage. Please don't misunderstand all this mumbling as I am blaming my wife for any of this. I just don't know what to do next and how to go about it.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I'm not going to beat up on you since you know your relationship dynamics and what you should probably change. But if she truly wants a divorce the kindest thing you can do is accept her decision and end the marriage in a mature and respectful manner.


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

Step 1 - start taking care of yourself. You mentioned that you recently gained a lot of weight. Get yourself to the gym asap - you need to go 4-5 days a week. To start burning the fat I would hit the spin bike or treadmill for 30 minutes of good cardio. Then 30 minutes of weight training. Do that for a couple of months and you should start seeing the fat drop off pretty quickly. That could also help boost your testosterone and possibly improve your bedroom issues. A lot of the bedroom issues could also be in your head due to the stress of what is going on in your marriage.

Also make sure to establish a healthy diet. Cut out the grease, limit the alcohol, and really focus on healthy eating habits.

Participate in your hobbies - especially physical outdoor ones. Hiking, biking, etc.

Engage your guy friends. You need some good strong male interaction. 

And do some reading. For starters:

https://www.amazon.com/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8
and
https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438CW

I'd give your marriage a break for awhile (6 months maybe) and really focus on yourself. Then once you feel you have yourself up to par, evaluate your marriage at that point. But you need to come in to that from a position of strength. You need to be ready for either outcome. Your marriage might improve, and it might end in divorce. Fix yourself first.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Do yourself a favor and let her proceed with the divorce, and be glad you didn't put in longer than the 3 years. She sounds miserable person and is making you miserable in the process. Don't fight her on it, let it go. 

In her defense tho, if your family really does mistreat her, then you absolutely should stand up for her when they are in the wrong.


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## EndoftheLine (Jan 11, 2018)

We talked little bit yesterday. She admitted that we have a problem and she is interested in going for counseling, just for her initially to deal with her depressing thoughts. She is worried whether we can afford it financially. That’s why she didn’t bring up counseling before. We are going to attempt to get sorted here. I appreciate all feedback given here. We really want us to work so here we go.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I'm not offering too much her but just remember this.....your likely to jump through all the hoops and have it work for a little while and then a couple years later the divorce thing comes
back around. If you feel like your dating years are getting shorter.....well make the best choice you can. Twice in 3 years .....think about that.


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