# So lost and alone



## sadandsullen

Ok, so my husband and I have been together for 30+ years, we starting dating when I was 15, and we have lost both of his parents in the course of 14 months! To make matters worse we built a home in our backyard and thats where they have lived for the last five years, so we have grown really really close to them! Well, we were just beginning to have moved on with his Dads passing and wham! his Mom passed away too! Both were taken way too quickly and are dearly missed! The biggest problem is, that my hubby and I can no longer have a conversation, I thought I was doing the right thing when I allowed him space, and now, he cant stay in a room with me for more the 10 mins without losing his mind! We were best friends, I am so sad and feel so shut out now that I dont know what to do? I am angry and sad, and literly sick to my stomach! It has been a horrible year! We have 3 children, our oldest leaving in Aug. for college and all is clouded by all of this misery! He is fine with them, and most everyone else, its just me, he s not mean, just cant focus on anything, wont give me a chance to talk to him let alone offer any kind of love. What do I do, I feel like leaving! or jumping! I need help, big time, I am so sad, and this is just killing me! Any advice?


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## Runs like Dog

Grief counseling?


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## marriedfor27years

sadandsullen said:


> Ok, so my husband and I have been together for 30+ years, we starting dating when I was 15, and we have lost both of his parents in the course of 14 months! To make matters worse we built a home in our backyard and thats where they have lived for the last five years, so we have grown really really close to them! Well, we were just beginning to have moved on with his Dads passing and wham! his Mom passed away too! Both were taken way too quickly and are dearly missed! The biggest problem is, that my hubby and I can no longer have a conversation, I thought I was doing the right thing when I allowed him space, and now, he cant stay in a room with me for more the 10 mins without losing his mind! We were best friends, I am so sad and feel so shut out now that I dont know what to do? I am angry and sad, and literly sick to my stomach! It has been a horrible year! We have 3 children, our oldest leaving in Aug. for college and all is clouded by all of this misery! He is fine with them, and most everyone else, its just me, he s not mean, just cant focus on anything, wont give me a chance to talk to him let alone offer any kind of love. What do I do, I feel like leaving! or jumping! I need help, big time, I am so sad, and this is just killing me! Any advice?


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## marriedfor27years

The reason he can not spend time with you is it reminds him of mom and dad. This will not go away on it's own. He does not realise what he is doing to you. You must get in there and help both of you. If he can see what it is doing to you he may come around. You need to be carful. You may see a side to him you have not seen before. He loves you and wants to spare seeing him greave. Get in there. He needs you and you need him.
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## mahayana

Some people seem to distance themselves the most during difficult times from the ones they are closest to. I think that I am guilty of this, but I don't really know why. Though my loved ones probably don't realize it, even when I distance myself I still take great comfort from knowing that they are concerned about me and close to me. Hopefully with a little time, patience, and understanding he will eventually be able to open up to you and allow you to share his grief with him.


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