# 20 Years together 16 and a half married...



## Dazed_and_Confused (May 20, 2012)

Well I have been reading this forum for awhile now and finally decided to make a post. I have been married to my wife for 16 and a half years, been together for 20 since she was 15 and I was 18. The past month has been extremely hard, I finally opened up to her and was honest and what came out surprised me and her. I told her that I was no longer feeling like I was "In Love" with her and no longer wanted to be married. We have been dealing with this for a month, crying, anger. We have 2 kids together 17 and 15. My 17 year old son has even said that he doesn't know why it took as long as it did for this all to come out. So I left the home last Sunday and am now living at my mother and fathers house. She calls me to cry telling me she doesn't understand and can't accept that I left and wants me to come back. In a way I do want to go back but know that If I did, we would be back in the same ol rut again, and know that part of that feeling is because she is soo hurt and upset, and I can't stand seeing or hearing her in this condition. I know I have hurt her so badly from what I have said and leaving. On the other hand, I feel that it will take time to heal but we will both be fine and I should just stay here and let this ride out. I'm soo lost and confused right now. Don't get me wrong she is a great woman, I just Grew Up and have changed over the years. I know that I'm not looking for anyone else and thats not why I left, she feels that there is "Another Woman" and I have tried to assure her that there is not. I could really use some advise here. I feel so confused and lost, and I truly am sorry for causing her so much pain. It's not easy for me either, however, she thinks it is. I just have come to terms with it and she hasn't. Her Mother actually came down from AZ to stay with her and that doesn't seem to be helping. HELP!


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Hey Dazed, I'm not a therapist. That's what my wife told me she's not in love with me. But of course I found other party's. Any how if the both of you are willing to work it out. get the book love dare and do it. you have to be fully comited both of you. Watch the movie fireproof. I thought this would work but it has to take both of you to work.


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## Dazed_and_Confused (May 20, 2012)

Thanks for replying Wrong, I just think that its past that, books and movies thing. Keep in mind that It was me that left and its me that's not "In Love" anymore. She has done nothing wrong, I am just very confused as to why I feel this way. I never thought in a million years that I could leave my wife of almost 17 years. There has to be something wrong with my brain. Everyone here tells me to just be a man and let it ride out. Yes, Its true that would be the easiest thing to do, however, I feel that there opinions are just that and can't take them serious since they are not in my shoes nor have ever been in the situation that I am in. The past couple days have been extremely rough, she called me screaming at me telling me to tell her what she needs to hear to move on. Meaning that she wanted to hear from me that "Its Over" so I actually said that its over thinking that it would give her the strength to move on and start healing. It hasn't at all, seems like it just made matters worse. Now she calls crying asking why, how, what is she going to do now so lonely. I am at the end of my ropes. I have no clue what to do.


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