# A piece of advice for those WS who still live by the OW



## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

I've tried for two years now to still live in our house that's across the street from the OW. My H's affair with her lasted 7 months, she was also my friend.

I've done all I can do but the pain is so deep and the constant seeing her is slowly killing me. I'd give anything to have her live with the pain like I have had to.

Personally it has been impossible to live in this environment in a healthy way. 

My H hasn't been very helpful. To him the A is over so don't talk about it anymore and why should I have a problem living here. That's his opinion. He's such a jerk!!

I use to think I could handle living so close but I don't see how it would be possible for anyone. Perhaps, they may seem OK on the outside but hurting on the inside.

I just wanted to give a little advice to any of those BS out there that think working together or living close by is possible. I truely don't think it is possible anymore.

I put on a good show but I can't handle it anymore. 

I wish my H wasn't an ass and considered my feelings first. He didn't care about me during or after the affair as far as I can tell. If he did we wouldn't still be living here. I feel like it's constantly being rubbed in my face. I can't even be comfortable in my own home and neighborhood. 

She's friendly with some neighbors. I am not. I can only guess what she's saying about us. I wish they'd find out about her but I'm a quiet person and wouldn't say anything.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Hey, I'd warn the neighbors to look out for that maneater. if I were you.


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

I can think of a few lines you might use when neigbors ask why you're moving...


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

I'd be talking to every damn neighbor on the street. Hell I'd hold an HOA meeting over it. Either you guys need to move or she does. My guess is you don't have any control over where she lives but guess what? You do have control over where you do  I don't blame you hun it'd eat me slowly as well. You're living the hell on the daily of course it's going to take a toll eventually it's just a matter of time.


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## Country Girl (Apr 19, 2009)

This is a bad situation. Chances are the neighbors already know a lot. I have learned this from my experience; gossip really travels fast. And my stbx was fooling around with a woman over an hour away!

How you handle the situation will depend on your personality and emotional strength. Personally I would be moving. But, if you are a strong person, perhaps come out of the house and befriend the neighbors; act as though the OW doesn't even exist. Or simply go about your daily life and completely tune the neighbors out.

I'm more concerned about how your hubby treats you. Maybe you should move out of the neighborhood and let him stay! 

Hope you find peace though....


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

The OW lives just down the street from us, and its not like we can just sell our place and move because my H made poor choices. She's trash that assoicates with the trash in our neighborhood; I have never associated with the crowd she does, and my H no longer does either.He was a horrid person during the affair, and with medication for his depression and weekly therapy, he is not only no longer that person, but does not want to be around the types of people he sought out before. 
It bothers me too, that your husband is being that insensitive to you about the situation. While my advice is simply to not let the trashy woman run you out of your own house, I think your H needs a wake up call to really understand what he has put you thru. You can't be expected to heal if he is still being so cold to you. 
Quit worrying about what the neighbors think, I am sure that they have their own skeletons in the closet that get rattled every once in a while. Hold your head high when you see her, don't EVER let her think that she got the best of you. Each day it does get easier...and if you see her standing out in the street when you drive by, punch the gas a little bit and let her think you may just run her over...the startled jump and the scurry into her yard will be worth it. LOL....I never said I was a saint....


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## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

Mommybean-
My H wasn't always so cold but he doesn't want to keep hearing about the A. Unfortunately the daily reminders for me have become too much. There are still unanswered questions and this is also a double betrayal for me since I had thought her and I were friends. I thought I was OK for awhile and then I realized how much happier I am when I'm not home.

It's because the reminder isn't right in front of my face. 

We too were not in much of a position to move but I know my H could have worked a lot more OT if he was really trying to get us out of here. 

So much more he could have done but didn't.

I do worry too much what other people think. I can't image what she would say because it wouldn't put her in a good light either. She's bipolar and her H feels my H took advantage of that. I'm sure if people knew she some how would manage to make it look like she was taken advantage of. 

I know different. It wasn't anything like that.


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Well, Fairy, at this point, what purpose does it serve to keep rehashing the affairs? Nobody can change the past, but if you guys keep reliving it, you have no future. From your other posts I have skimmed thru, it sounds like you guys have already decided to call it quits though....I CAN relate to what you are going thru, and I am very sorry that he was not willing to take the steps to make you feel more secure.


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## Private Eye Wife (May 8, 2009)

Okay... Even in this economy... Booty Shorts. That's right, Booty Shorts - get some from your local Goodwill & wear 'em! Wear them to wash the car, mow the lawn, take out the trash... Show her she ain't got nofin' on you. Smile every time she comes out her front door. Do not wave or speak - just smile. After awhile, she'll begin to wonder what YOUR HUSBAND has said about her. It will be as upsetting to her as her living so close is to you. DO NOT allow her to make you feel less that a woman! Its your HUSBAND with the short term memory loss (like he forgot he already had a woman at home), not you!!! Short, fat, skinny, lil' boobs, one leg, cross-eyed... What you look like did not matter to him. This was not your fault. Your man FAILED YOU, not the other way around. If you were the perfect woman, your man would have still cheated. Why? Because he chose to do exactly that. He is who(m) he is. And he has proven that much to you by his actions.


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