# Who else feels this way....after sex



## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

I was married 9yrs previously, but since my divorce I have decided not to pursue anything serious and just have fun i.e. FWBs and the likes. Through online dating and other means, I am fining that once the sex has been achieved, I don't find myself feeling anything more.

Thing is I have a couple of FWBs right now that will like to see things become exclusive, but it's just not in the cards for me.

Anyone else find that when they've chased a woman and got the sex out of the way, you lose interest?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Only a couple times but they chased me.

It honestly sounds like a pretty empty existence.

Your best bet would be to find some women that feel burnt out like you.

I might not be the expert here however.

My crazy, idiot days stopped when I was 20.

Everytime I make it with Mrs. Conan colors are brighter, food tastes better and the world seems more peaceful for a moment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

arabian said:


> I was married 9yrs previously, but since my divorce I have decided not to pursue anything serious and just have fun i.e. FWBs and the likes. Through online dating and other means, I am fining that once the sex has been achieved, I don't find myself feeling anything more.
> 
> Thing is I have a couple of FWBs right now that will like to see things become exclusive, but it's just not in the cards for me.
> 
> *Anyone else find that when they've chased a woman and got the sex out of the way, you lose interest?*


Yes but in reverse, I am a woman that enjoyed being chased by men post divorce but then was a bit "meh" afterwards. TBH most of it was simply an ego boost and there is nothing wrong with that.


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## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

^ I thought women didn't come in here? :grin2:

I have two f' buddies who want to see me this weekend, judging by the sexting (from them) this week thus far. These are 2 ladies in their 40s and 50s.

One has even said dinner is on them.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

arabian said:


> *One has even said dinner is on them.*


You should ask them to clarify this so you know what you are walking in to :wink2:


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## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

I know what am "walking into", and it usually finishes with a happy ending.:wink2: One of them was at my place 2 weeks ago, and watched me cook for the 1st time...that scored me a lot of points based on the comments and BJ after.

One of the comments via text this week has been..."I want to ride you", "got something hard for me to put in my mouth"



EllisRedding said:


> You should ask them to clarify this so you know what you are walking in to :wink2:


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

There's 2 things: the chase is exciting (or being chased), and then there's lack of emotional connection. Without emotional connection - and I think this goes for both men and women - sex (no matter how good it may be) reaches its limit. 
That's why FB or FWB's are usually short-term.


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## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

Well, that is the whole idea i.e. move on to the next one and try something different. The "emotional connection" is something that women throw around, and I think if such thing exists, it only applies to the female.

Is it worth me signing up long term when BS / drama / selfishness / etc is involved, simply for the sake of "emotional connection"? Me thinks NOT

I'll settle for the temp emotional connection with FB and FWBs. You also get more respect from FB/FWBs because you aren't tied up with them, allowing them to manipulate and be vindictive.



SARAHMCD said:


> There's 2 things: the chase is exciting (or being chased), and then there's lack of emotional connection. Without emotional connection - and I think this goes for both men and women - sex (no matter how good it may be) reaches its limit.
> That's why FB or *FWB's are usually short-term.*


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

You mentioned that your FWBs are pressuring you to be exclusive with them. That doesn't necessarily mean they are looking for a LTR (unless they've said so). I have a current FWB and he said from the start he wants us to be exclusive. 

Having one girl in your bed one night and another the next without changing sheets....this is the image I get in my mind... is just "ick" imo. I know what I expect from a FWB - great sex, intensity, attention, and short-term (it will burn out if its just about sex). If you're with multiple women then you're not likely giving any one of them your full attention or enough time (I had this happen with my last one and got out for that reason). But maybe that's exactly what you want...

Perhaps you just haven't met the right one to "rock your world". Or you are bitter and angry from your last relationship and not in the right mindset to be even enjoying a FWB relationship right now.


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## Morcoll (Apr 22, 2015)

It is not that it only applies to the female, it is that THEY are chasing you. They dynamics are reversed when you are chasing. Being chased is not as attractive as it sounds, b/c it is not a challenge so you easily become bored. If you are UNSURE of their feelings, ie, not positive they really feel very strongly about you. Backing off a bit tends to create more attraction.


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## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...

-European born
-well educated
- well traveled i.e. over 100 countries
- Look a lot younger than my 40s age group
- athletic build, and long distance runner (over 95 marathons)
- great cook, hates clutter, you couldn't tell a man lives in my house because of my design and decor touch
- a career professional, single dad, volunteers

Do any of your FBs or FWB measure up to all this yet? As for my sheets, the 100% Egyptian cotton gets changed regularly, along with all the pillows.

Additionally, these women are corporate types, not walmart greeters, or minimum wage types just doing a job because they will be bored at home.

"The right one", is a myth and is as good as a unicorn. Perhaps this is the difference between you and I...I am not delusional :grin2:



SARAHMCD said:


> You mentioned that your FWBs are pressuring you to be exclusive with them. That doesn't necessarily mean they are looking for a LTR (unless they've said so). I have a current FWB and he said from the start he wants us to be exclusive.
> 
> *Having one girl in your bed one night and another the next without changing sheets....this is the image I get in my mind... is just "ick" imo.* I know what I expect from a FWB - great sex, intensity, attention, and short-term (it will burn out if its just about sex). If you're with multiple women then you're not likely giving any one of them your full attention or enough time (I had this happen with my last one and got out for that reason). But maybe that's exactly what you want...
> 
> Perhaps you just haven't met the right one to "rock your world". Or you are bitter and angry from your last relationship and not in the right mindset to be even enjoying a FWB relationship right now.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

arabian said:


> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...



Not sure what you're getting at here. Yes, my FWB's measure up to what you described. And I am also the "corporate" type. I am in good shape and in my mid-40s. The guys I "date" are in their 30s. Again, not thinking long term. 
I used the sheets analogy as an example. I just wouldn't want to be with a guy who I knew was inside someone else that same day - or the day before. I know these types of relationships are not meant to be long term so I want intensity and passion. Attention, affection, availability for good sex and lots of it. Not clingy. Not playing games. Someone I can also have an intelligent conversation with and laugh with. 
When I said "right one" I didn't mean soulmate. I don't believe in them. But I do mean the right fit for what you are currently looking for. Someone to hold your interest. You have to decide exactly what you are looking for so you can communicate it to them. If you're a match, great! That's not delusional. I think you're in the process of figuring out exactly what you want and need right now.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

My goodness! We've certainly had a lot of returnees lately. What was your previous user name, arabian? Yes, I am nosy.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

this thread reminds me of the little rascals. I am dating myself here.

the heman woman hating club. until Darla came along then all bets were off.


as I get older its more about the desire a woman has than the sex. I can rub one out for release anytime. But when a woman really desires you then the sex is a different animal.....like a wild beast breaking out of it chains growling and slobbering scratching and moaning.......... lol guess I'm a little Horney today


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## Morcoll (Apr 22, 2015)

arabian said:


> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...



A legend in your own mind.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

arabian said:


> I was married 9yrs previously, but since my divorce I have decided not to pursue anything serious and just have fun i.e. FWBs and the likes. Through online dating and other means, *I am fining that once the sex has been achieved, I don't find myself feeling anything more.*
> 
> Thing is I have a couple of FWBs right now that will like to see things become exclusive, but it's just not in the cards for me.
> 
> Anyone else find that when they've chased a woman and got the sex out of the way, you lose interest?


Have you told the FWB that this is how you feel about them? I mean have you been very clear?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

arabian said:


> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...


*Swwoooooonnn*

If you had an ounce of humility, you'd be the perfect man!

:bsflag:


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## arabian (Jun 3, 2015)

Ouch....don't forget to leave the knife in there :grin2:



SecondTime'Round said:


> *Swwoooooonnn*
> 
> If you had an ounce of humility, you'd be the perfect man!
> 
> :bsflag:


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...


Were you serious when you typed this? 

If you were, forgive me but I'm going to fall off my chair laughing right now. 

Your posts on this thread are hilarious...are you a comedian or is this seriously the way you project yourself to women?


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> Everytime I make it with Mrs. Conan colors are brighter, food tastes better and the world seems more peaceful for a moment.


Awww...that's very sweet.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

I really struggle with the concept of a "friend" you have sex with. The FWB idea is manifestly juvenile, I think.
another example that to some people sex is NOT an intimate act. I find that very strange. its like meeting someone and immediately telling them your most private thoughts and fears - the physical analogy of that.

wow I've really gone the judgemental route on this one! oh well sorry to all the ONS people.......


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

arabian said:


> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...


You know... just the other day I was lamenting the pronounced lack of unmarried world travelers lining up to share their experiences here at TalkAbout_Marriage_.com. Welcome!

Hopefully you won't be gone for too long. This place could clearly use a bit more class and culture.

Hey... maybe you could host the inaugural episode of "TAM: Cribs"!!!


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

arabian said:


> Doesn't this image of yours is right now does it? Here is a little bit about me...
> 
> -European born
> -well educated
> ...


You forgot to mention your OTHER attribute:


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## tenac (Jun 3, 2015)

The only thing that picture is missing that would describe the Op perfectly would be "dried cum on the monitor"


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

tenac said:


> The only thing that picture is missing that would describe the Op perfectly would be "dried cum on the monitor"



Well, that keyboard is very... white.


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