# Interesting Question



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

This is for single or married men:
If you are a Pleaser- do you get satisfaction from masterbating? Meaning, if you get turned on by pleasing a woman and that’s what gets you off, will you get the same satisfaction if you could only masterbate?

you didn’t have a woman or you are single and sex isn’t happening in other words. 
this is from an article I read online, would like to hear your thoughts!


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Sue4473 said:


> if you get turned on by pleasing a woman and that’s what gets you off, will you get the same satisfaction if you could only masterbate?


No, absolutely not. I don't see how there is any correlation there.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Sex with a partner releases dopamine, and is a vastly better experience and far more satisfying than masturbation. I'd choose partnered sex over solo sex anytime it's available!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> This is for single or married men:
> If you are a Pleaser- do you get satisfaction from masterbating? Meaning, if you get turned on by pleasing a woman and that’s what gets you off, will you get the same satisfaction if you could only masterbate?
> 
> you didn’t have a woman or you are single and sex isn’t happening in other words.
> this is from an article I read online, would like to hear your thoughts!


While I am a pleaser, even when I Dom/top, that is not all I am. There are multiple vectors by which I can get turned on. So fantasizing to any of those vectors during masterbation works.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

i do masturbate, because I am the higher drive partner and get turned on more often than my wife does, but it is never as satisfying. I do consider myself a "pleaser", so solo masturbation does not provide the same level of interest as partnered sex, or even close.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Sue4473 said:


> this is from an article I read online, would like to hear your thoughts!


Correlation does not imply causation. It is well researched that for men a partnered orgasm is immensely more significant than a solo orgasm. The research I read on this theorized that the male reproductive system is trying to differentiate between _fertile_ and _infertile_ opportunities to procreate. 

The presence of a sexually receptive mate in real life is obviously one of the needed main ingredients for this process to occur.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I masturbate because partnered sex is not often available to me. I would much prefer to have sex with my wife. All masturbation does is relieve tension. it's really nothing more than urinating or defecating. Providing my own fantasy is not satisfying at all. Mostly, it's difficult to get aroused by it. I would never have been a Harlequin romance novel author 



badsanta said:


> a partnered orgasm is immensely more significant than a solo orgasm.


Entirely true for me. And, the psychological benefit comes not from my orgasn, but from hers.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Masturbation, while sometimes needed, in nothing like sex with a partner, esp my F. 

Not even in the same hemisphere. If we are having sex, neither of us traveling or sick or whatever, I really don't need to masturbate. 

When we can't get together as much as we would like for whatever reason, then yes.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

HD married male and W is LD. With the help of an Sex Therapist in marriage counseling have compromised on sex twice a week. That is at the upper end of what my W can handle and at the extreme low end of what I can survive with. So yes I masturbate at times. However, sex with my W is much more satisfying and emotionally fulfilling.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

The only time I would masturbate these days would be when it's a good idea to take the pressure off wanting to have sex with my wife. Plus, before we were intimate, if you recall the "Something about Mary" hair gel scene... I would take care of myself ahead of time so I wouldn't be tempted. For me, it's not even a substitute for the real thing; it's in no way comparable. The only thing it's really good for is relieving pressure and expectations. 

It sounds so corny saying that I used to get off before a date so I wouldn't be tempted to go too far. It did work, for what it's worth.


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## Where there's a will (Feb 10, 2014)

I am replying on behalf of the overwhelming silent majority on here by saying that it is preferable to the real thing, no rejection, no pity, no starfish . Wives that don't feel like it, not engaged, not initiating, not without huge investment emotionally draining. Reality is not sexy in marriage for a lot of people.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’m a woman but I’m in a relationship with someone who’s really big into pleasing. He says masterbating doesn’t happen, he’s not even interested in hand jobs. Says it’s just not that thrilling and would rather spend that time working me over lol! No complaints!


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

In my life those two things are not even related. No relation at all. I wouldn’t trust too much of what you read.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> *In my life *those two things are not even related. No relation at all. I wouldn’t trust too much of what you read.


Key point. The question then is are you on the curve for that particular aspect, or an outlier?


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

I am a pleaser. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to give my wife's sexual body parts a good workout. My orgasms are always secondary, but definately more satisfying after giving my wife the big Os.

When I am unable to please, I'm forced to relieve myself, sometimes often, in order to avoid the pain from blue balls.

Orgasms from PIV or PIM are way more satisfying than from SELF-pleasuring.


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## Skiguy31 (Oct 13, 2020)

My wife and I both masturbate and I'd say it's one of the bigger parts of my sex life. Although I have the higher sex drive, my wife has a desire for orgasming I simply cannot keep up with. On any given week she'll give herself anywhere from 30-40 orgasms and I'm okay with that.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sue4473 said:


> This is for single or married men:
> If you are a Pleaser- do you get satisfaction from masterbating? Meaning, if you get turned on by pleasing a woman and that’s what gets you off, will you get the same satisfaction if you could only masterbate?
> 
> you didn’t have a woman or you are single and sex isn’t happening in other words.
> this is from an article I read online, would like to hear your thoughts!


Just to add to your data. I love pleasing but I also love getting my own.

Masturbation is somewhat satisfying but not in the same realm with ravishing a woman.

Masturbating is mostly a helpful self control tool for me. I'm very HD and Mrs. Conan can't physically keep pace. There are few women who could.

Having a good imagination and fantasies while masturbating helps it be pretty satisfying for the most part and definitely keeps me out of trouble because I start to get in the danger zone when I go too long without gratification.

If I'm ever single again, masturbating will do just fine until/if I marry again.


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