# wifes best friend is a man?



## texdude32

I need some advise from the femal site of view. little back ground - Me 39 wife 37 - married 19 years - 2 kids 14-18 both girls - As with any 19 year marriage there have been ups and downs but for the most part a good marriage. Wife started new job 2 years ago - 
Situation - starting in May we were having problems with oldest daughter rebeling - Wife and I were at odds on what to do - In June I got a feeling that there was another person in my life. I am not sure what made me think this but I could tell my wife was at the least talking to another man. I will say that I have never done this before but I checked her cell phone records. She was texting and tallking to a married male co worker. For the month of May and June, there were text messages every morning on the way to work, lunch and on the way home. I am talking 8-20 texts each time. There werre several phone calls also. Now the 2 of them work on the same floor all day. I confronted her about it( i will admit I did not use a very good tack because I was angry). She proceeded to explain to me that she was using him as a councelor for our issues. She agreed that the amount of conversation was a bit much and asurred me that they were only friends. I expressed my concerns about how things like this can progress into something more. She said that they have talked about that and have no interest in each other. I will shorten up the the issues for July to now. The communications have not stopped or lessened. He, her and 2 other co workers went on an overnight stay for a meeting, she did not tell me he was going, i found out. when we talked she said she did not want to have a fight about it or did not want me to tell her she could not go. During hurricane Ike they had to evacuate together with all other co workers. while evacuated to her cousins facility there were several rumors about the 2 of them I was told. Some of the comments made"Are they dating" " if there is nothing going on between them there will be"- She blamed her cousin for rumors and said she wanted to break up our marriage. The lastest item is I was at an event. She was sending me cell phone pics of her in lingerie. I discovered later that at the exact minute I recieved pic she was sending him a picture. When we discussed she gave me 3 different stories- 1 i was forwarding joke 2 i was sending funny face pics 3 I was holding up the outfits for his advise on how to pose - she needed his support for courage to send me pics. when I said that the story does not add up because his pics should have went ouut before mine she said she does not remember exactly what the pictures where and I should be glad she sent them to me and stop beign so jealous. she said"I do not think of him as a man, he is one of the girls, he is like a brother" I do not know how much more I can stand. Is this relationship to much for a married women to have with a male firend?


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## mom876

Speaking from personal experience, I would tell het that she needs to discuss your marrage with you not another man. It doesn't take much for things to progress from just a friend to more than a friend.


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## voivod

mom876 said:


> Speaking from personal experience, I would tell het that she needs to discuss your marrage with you not another man. It doesn't take much for things to progress from just a friend to more than a friend.


:iagree:and for the records, she was using this guy as a confidant, not, as she claims, a "counselor." that dangerous.


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## MarkTwain

texdude32-

One of the ways to tell what is really going on, is to look at the quality of your relationship with her, especially the sexual aspect. affairs are not causes, they are symptoms. Of course, once they start, they usually make things worse.

In many offices, there are men, who while they might not be openly gay, are indeed "one of the girls". Women confide in them, because they feel safe, and the guy seems almost "penis-less". I used to work in a company where such a guy existed - he sucked up to women big time, but never had girlfriend, nor did he sleep with any of the women there. If he had a boyfriend, he certainly kept it quiet...

He may well be one of these. If your wife is giving you plenty of sex, you probably have not to much to worry about. If however, she has been shutting you down of late, then watch out. However, if you keep complaining she will probably cut the sex down anyway. I believe in giving people plenty of rope.

For now, try to break out of the cycle of complaining until you have more info. Look at the causes - are you being loving enough? Are you a good listener? Women need these things, and if you don't provide it, someone else often steps into the gap. In some ways it can be just as bad if it's another woman - they can gang up on men as a species and run men down. A guy may (if he is not after anything), take your side to some extent. 

Life is never as black and white as people like to kid themselves.


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## Orangerose

She needs to stop. This is how my husband fell into an emotional affair.


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## texdude32

marktwain - you make some good points - our sex life has not changed any and I feel I listen and give her enough attention. We where not having any issues before other than with our daughter. In the beginning of this I tried to be understanding but at what point to I stand up for myself and the way the relationship makes me feel. I dought his wife would want my wife sending her husband lingerie pictures. Do I ignore what I have felt in my gut for 6 months, that this is more than a guy friend? In 6 months they have never missed a day of communicatin except when we where in Mexico. I feel she likes have the attention of both of us. He is know has the office flirt. Within the last 6 months the having to work late and go in on Saturdays have increased. Although i do not think she has taken it to a physical level, I think she is addicted to his attention.


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## MarkTwain

If you read my other posts, you will see I am very broad-minded. Too much so for some people. In my view you have two distinct things going on here, and you need to look at them separately.

1) She is indeed very friendly with a male, and enjoying very much being in his confidence.

2) It may or may not harm your relationship.

When I was younger (I am 42) I would have put my foot down. These days, I am more interested in what is actually going on, than what appears to be going on. Laying down the law may get you results, but she will feel thwarted, and you may pay the price later. So I would take a different tack. I would attempt to do two things simultaneously:

a) Become so laid-back about the guy, that she is able to talk to *me* about him - what she gets out of him etc.

b) Try to improve my loving and cherishing of her so that she does not need to go outside the marriage for support.

Above all, by giving her freedom, you also get to monitor the situation. If their liaison crosses an obvious line in the sand, you will seem quite justified in putting your foot down.


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## texdude32

mark
I understand what you are saying
I have been understanding of the realationship adn tolerant and here is what i have gotten
rumers from 4 differnet people that it is obvious they have something going on
sending him lingerie pictures

i seems the realatioship has been escalating

What would you suggest the line in the sand be?


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## snix11

*Re: wife with male best friend*

You need to become the man she is talking to. Find out why she likes him more and be more like him. Of course it's too much for her to do. And it's at least partly your fault.


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## draconis

It sounds like she has already crossed the line and might be having an Emotional Affair. HOWEVER, it is just as wrong to accuse without proof. Some companies may allow you (if you pay the bill) to get records of the texts. Maybe if she leaves it behind going to the store there is information you might find on your computer too. But er to caution, if you snoop, and there is nothing there and she finds out she will rightfully feel betrayed.

draconis


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## dcrim

*Re: wife with male best friend*

Regardless of who's at fault, she needs to stop this. 

I've read this thread in another area. She's sending pix of sexy outfits to TOM. This should never happen. Period. If she wanted an opinion, she would normally be asking a girl. The only reason a man is asked is to entice, or encourage attention from him. 

Demand that she get a new job at another company, if she won't, tell her you're filing papers. You need to shake her up and break it off with TOM. 

Then get counseling. And communicate with each other. She's not getting something "at home" but is from this other person. Find out what.


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## MarkTwain

texdude32 said:


> What would you suggest the line in the sand be?


In life, you have to decide what result you want, before you look at the means. As we say in the UK, she is clearly "bang out of order", but that does not mean you should whine at her - you have already expressed your discomfort.

If it were me, the result I would focus on would be a healthy happy marriage. If things seemed to get better and better despite her involvement with him, I would leave it be, but watch, and take notes. I would not spy, but I would not close my eyes either.

So my line in the sand would be her treatment of me - especially emotional and sexual. If this guy caused her to take from me, to give to him, I would put my foot down in 30 seconds. 

However, behind all that I would have a master plan - I am very devious, (but in a good way  ). I would be working on a plan to get rid of him, simply because he sounds like a jerk - pity his poor wife! Firstly, I would be working my butt of to try and find out where I had let her down - in either the present or the past - so that I could modify my behaviour to be a better husband. I would hit the gym, lose weight, and sharpen up my looks. Wearing black, and sporting designer stubble works well for me.

As a last resort, I would start getting socially acquainted with his wife. I warn you, this is a last resort. It could backfire real bad, real bad. But think about it. This man likes everything to go one way. If he were to find out you were on speaking terms with his wife - all innocent of course - he might decide to cool it with your wife, for fear of the truth coming out! Those pictures she sent him would play on his mind etc...

You could however, start doing your research right away. Find out about his relationship with his wife, but don't be obvious...YET.

If you are not capable of extreme subtly, forget about my last 3 paragraphs! But remember, focus on the result you want, in say 12 months time, not on the stupid little details. Be proactive! Imagine in your minds eye the kind of marriage you want, and start right away with *your end of the bargain* - be the perfect husband. I am convinced you have neglected her in some way, so fix that right now.

One last thing... those rumours might be rubbish. People love to gossip. She is clearly flirting, but they may not have touched each other yet.


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## voivod

*Re: wife with male best friend*



dcrim said:


> Regardless of who's at fault, she needs to stop this.
> 
> I've read this thread in another area. She's sending pix of sexy outfits to TOM. This should never happen. Period. If she wanted an opinion, she would normally be asking a girl. The only reason a man is asked is to entice, or encourage attention from him.
> 
> Demand that she get a new job at another company, if she won't, tell her you're filing papers. You need to shake her up and break it off with TOM.
> 
> Then get counseling. And communicate with each other. She's not getting something "at home" but is from this other person. Find out what.


maybe she could be coerced into talking about this to her human resources department head if she thinks there is nothing wrong with what she is doing. 

i'd bet that there interpretation would be somewhat different than hers.


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## GAsoccerman

Texdude,

I have several females that are good friends, Almost like sisters. I do think of them like sisters, even if we joke around flirting.

My wife has met all my female friends and she is comfortable with them, because I show her any messages or e-mails sent.

like...Hey anne, look what Diane sent me.....

If I were you, I would try and meet this man. Say to your wife...Hey honey how about we all go out for drinks and Dinner? See what she says, if she has nothing to hide then she will be up for it. If she refuses to go to dinner and drinks with the guy and you, then I suspect more.

I hope when your wife sent you the pics, you had a positive reaction when she sent them to you, LIke Oh yea baby send me some more. 

She may be looking for that spark again.


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## texdude32

Yes I had a positive reaction. In fact I did not find out she sent to him until 4weeks later -- she has invited him several times to meet us when we are going out, but he always declines. She says " he would feel weird just us 3 being out because his wife does not like to go out" The last company function where every one meet out at bar he did not go there either.


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## Chopblock

*Re: wife with male best friend*

I have mixed opinions on the "soliciting someone else for advice". After all, forums like this are here for that, and sometimes people take chats private in order to get better help.

Quite frankly in the strictest sense of the word, anyone who posts here without his/her spouses complete approval and/or knowledge, could be considered cheating.

I don't buy that though -- I think people need outlets for stress, and to get advice. After all, if you are trying to be a better partner, you need to get advice.

I want to know how the rest of your home life is. Sometimes people just suffer from a "grass is greener" syndrome. Life ALWAYS gets in the way. She does not deal with children, bill paying, home renovation, taxes... with her co-worker, but she does with you. The fantasy that "life won't get in the way" with others is just plain wrong.

If you really want to test her, you could ask her what advice her co-worker gave her that she has tried using in your relationship. If she can't think of anything, then she is lying to you.

Best of luck.


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## texdude32

I think what I am going to do is let her know where I stand on the relationship. here is my spill
I feel the relationship is more than what would be considered appropriate between 2 married people and I do not feel comfortable with the relationship. I am not telling you that it has to stop but that I am only tolerating the situation because I really have no other option.
What does everyone think?


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## texdude32

*Re: wife with male best friend*

I think what I am going to do is let her know where I stand on the relationship. here is my spill
I feel the relationship is more than what would be considered appropriate between 2 married people and I do not feel comfortable with the relationship. I am not telling you that it has to stop but that I am only tolerating the situation because I really have no other option.
What does everyone think?


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## Blanca

texdude32 said:


> I think what I am going to do is let her know where I stand on the relationship. here is my spill
> I feel the relationship is more than what would be considered appropriate between 2 married people and I do not feel comfortable with the relationship. I am not telling you that it has to stop but that I am only tolerating the situation because I really have no other option.
> What does everyone think?


I think its good that you tell her you are not comfortable with the relationship. But i think you should tell her what you do want from her. and maybe ask what she needs from you in return.


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## MarkTwain

texdude32-

I don't expect you to agree with everything I say, but it seems that everything I have written has gone over your head. What is going on is a symptom of your unconsciousness, it is not the cause of your problems. Work on the cause.



texdude32 said:


> I am only tolerating the situation because I really have no other option.


This would be the worst possible thing you could say, it shows weakness. In the wild, when an animal is defeated by a bigger animal, it lifts it's head up to show it's throat as a sign of submission. It's basically saying, "you can rip my throat out with your teeth if you like". Don't ever do this!


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## Chris H.

Thread merged, please only post in one section.


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## cao428

That could be an excuse...maybe she is using it and hasn't even asked him. The whole thing sounds fishy to me. She should not be sending the other man pictures of herself in lingerie...I would be BS!

Obviously he's not gay if he has a wife.


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## dcrim

Then invite his wife, specifically! Tell her your wife and her husband seem to be "best friends" and see how she reacts. 

Tell her your wife asks his opinion of her sexy pix. Force the issue. 

This has to stop, dude. 




texdude32 said:


> Yes I had a positive reaction. In fact I did not find out she sent to him until 4weeks later -- she has invited him several times to meet us when we are going out, but he always declines. She says " he would feel weird just us 3 being out because his wife does not like to go out" The last company function where every one meet out at bar he did not go there either.


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## texdude32

I have thought about the forum suggestions and friends. I have decided I am not going to address the issue for the next few days. There are several of her company functions coming up. Co worker Xmas parties. I am going to lay back and be the understanding husband and see what I can see with regards to the interaction and talking to co workers. I am not going to directly ask any questions but do some recon if you know what I mean. I am also lookind forward to see if he actually comes to the event. wish me luck. Will update as it progresses.


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## draconis

texdude32 said:


> I have thought about the forum suggestions and friends. I have decided I am not going to address the issue for the next few days. There are several of her company functions coming up. Co worker Xmas parties. I am going to lay back and be the understanding husband and see what I can see with regards to the interaction and talking to co workers. I am not going to directly ask any questions but do some recon if you know what I mean. I am also lookind forward to see if he actually comes to the event. wish me luck. Will update as it progresses.


good luck and tell us how it goes.

draconis


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## cao428

We are here for you. Good luck!


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## GAsoccerman

What kind of Job does she have? Is there a way you can just show up at her office with flowers?? Then run into the guy and when you do Shake his hand and say, "hey nice to meet you, my wife has allot of nice things to say about you, you should join us for Dinner, matter of fact bring your wife along" see what kind of reaction you get from nboth of them.

I ahve a tendency to push the issue along. But seeing how the company functions go should be interesting, I would make sure if I were you I would attend every function with her and look for every oppurtunity to talk to this guy with or without your wife around.

MY daughters old teacher (a male) had serious hots for my wife and she told me about his constant flirting on class trips and such. So one time I ran into him, we were standing there, I said to him, " yea I know you think my wife is Hot, (look of shock on his face) I can't blame you, she is." He was in utter shocked, realizing that my wife told me all about his flirting with her. He stopped after that and was always cautious around me, even though I was not upset. Sometimes the strangest things happen when people find out the opposite spouse knows about the flirting.

I would say somtething to the man if I encountered him.


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## texdude32

Getting close to xmas party. I have been monitoring texting and to my surprise it has dropped off quit a bit since i confronted her about pictures. From 30-40 per day to 10-15. Still have the morning, lunch and drive home. I am really looking forward to the party although I am not sure he is going. When party was first brought up she said none of the other lady's she works with husbands going. She said I could go if I wanted to but that it was basically goiing to be a girls night out, "you can hang out with us if you want but do not get mad if I ignore you" I did not tell her if I was going or not. Nothing has really been said about party since then.

I have been to her work before and meet him before alot of this happened. If he and I do not cross paths at one of the 2 parties that are scheduled I will be doing the "lets all go out and get to know each other" but I want to see if I can meet up with him without it looking obvious to her.


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## storyboardlife

dude....here's my advice...GO FIND SOME WOMAN THAT YOU CAN JUST BE FRIENDS WITH. A MARRIED ONE WOULD BE YOUR BEST BET. OH, AND MAKE SURE HER HUSBAND DOESN'T LIKE TO GO OUT SO THAT HER, YOU, YOUR WIFE, AND HER FRIEND CAN GO OUT FOR DRINKS ON A REGULAR BASIS! Yeah, I thought you wouldn't like that...and I bet your wife wouldn't like that either. 

Protect your relationship my dude! Oh, you know how girls get don't you. They dress in front of each other, cuddle from time to time, and emotionally connect. If you're cool with that...then find your own..."just one of the guys" girls too so that you can smack her on the butt when something great happens. 

Dude, tell her she has to make a choice just as much as she would want you to make a choice if you were in a similar situation. She likes having a new dude around. Who wouldn't when things are going tough around the home. But my man, if she is going to commit to you then she needs to commit to you and the relationship.


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## texdude32

Well I got univited to the party on Saturday morning. Teh plans changed to where she was going with a girl from work because none of the other women where bringing thier spouses. We woudl then meet up at a loacl bar for a band we now. The first thing she said to me Saturday morning was that she wanted to go with her friend. Of course I popped off when is the dude going to get there. This did not go over very well. Not much was said between us other than he was not going due to a PPV fight. She did only stay at teh party for 2hrs and we meet up. sunday morning she started packing her clothes and said she could not handle not being trusted adn was going to stay at her moms. We talked for about 3hrs about trust and issues. She decide leaving was not the best idea and i did not want her to leave. She agian said they are only friends but yet i cannot shake that it is a strange deal with them too. She said I should trust her no matter what people say about them or where they go. She said I would not have know about pics and constant talking if I was not stalking her. Does that make it right if I do not know? Teh next company xmas party is being held at a differnet co-worker house next week and the dude is going adn currently I am invited. She told me I "need to play nice at party" As a bit of a gambler my $ is on her getting sick that week and us not going as to avoiid the situation.


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## wizard of aas

I'm going through this now, so I might lack objectivity.

My thought is, if a wife has a friend, it should be an invition to meet TOGETHER with friend and their spouse to pursure mutual interests (why can't we ALL be friends??). If this is not how it starts, then this is not friend.

Any lying (comission or omission), concealment, etc, indicates that this is not friend.

A special, private friend is like a toddler with a new toy - try to take it away, and they feel deprived. Basic economics says the benfits>the cost, so unfortunately by raising the issues of what this "friendship" costs, you ironically cause this friendship to deepen so that the benefits continue to outweigh the costs of dealing with your concerns about it.

As I told my wife, there are only a few possible logical outcomes: 1) We all become friends, 2) we all become friends and trust is established to allow you to be friends "alone". 3) you continue this friendship, with or without my knowledge, 4) we get divorced. I have not put a time restriction on it, but it is implied that 3 leads to 4.

Partners who have deeper personal relationships with members of the opposite sex is one thing, but how it develops, how it progresses, and where it leads are a matter for the married couple to be in agreement. Anything else is a sign that something is NOT right!


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## texdude32

wizard - When she first started talking about the guy --he was invited to go with us to several events or at least my wife told me she asked him. 3 or 4 including his wife - It was my wife does not like to go out to dance clubs not her thing. I do not want to be the third wheel. We have attend a few work parties and he is never there. Now i fit is a girls night out or some get together that spouse are not going he is always there. The christmas party last year he was there. Now this is before I was aware of anything. All I hear about this guy is how outgoing, freindly and flirty he is with everyone. Well Mr personality sat in his chair and watched a footbal game on TV and barely spoke to anyone. Of cousre all the spousses where there. Something else kind of strange is his wife never goes to anything.


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## Junebug

Aside from the lingere issue, I was in a situation very similar to your wife. I can't directly compare because of course we don't know how things really are for her, but I wanted to at least give you a different perspective. I had a really, truly good male co-worker friend. And that's all he ever was. We spent 8 hours together at work, shared coffee and lunch breaks, hung out together if one of us needed to go to the mall or something, and honestly, there was never an inkling of any inappropriate feelings between us. I am super friendly and outgoing and he was much the same way. Some days we laughed until it hurt, and it felt good to get away from the stress at work, and to share with someone who can fully sympathize with the day to day crap we deal with at work. My husband is in a totally different industry and while he listens about my day, he really has no idea how it feels. My BF did. In the beginning my husband had a really hard time with it. The difference with us was that he became involved in our family and became very good friends with all of us- my husband, my kids, and even went on family camping trips (with my hubby and his son). There were rumors flying constantly about the 2 of us in our office- everyone thought there was something going on, they were sure we were having an affair. But to have someone to laugh and share with that doesn't involve the day to day crap of life... it was fun. Now I have no idea how her situation fits in, what it's really like, but I just wanted to give you a different perspective about it, and I have no idea how the lingere thing fits in- although I seem to recall a shopping trip my BF was on where I was looking for something to wear on my anniversary get away with hubby and I didn't think twice about him being there. I hope it works out best for both of you.


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## texdude32

Update - Wife and I have had several talks about trust. She has assured me that she is not having an affair emotional or physical with the guy and they are work buddies. She has refered to him has her work spouse. Now I do not approve of the relationship but I do need to trust my wife. I find this to be very difficult with the things that have gone on. We did attend the work christmas party. He showed up with 2 other girls from work. It is really the first time I have been around him to get an idea of what he is like. I discovered I was right about the guy. I walked up on a coversation between him and the 2 girls he was with. He was talking about how there is no such thing as a happily married man. He preceded to drink alot. Several people went to a dance club after party. We meet everyone there. He was still drinking alot. I witnessed him hitting on 3 different women and buying drinks for them. I could tell my wife was concerned about how he was acting. We had to wait for him to sober up and then we drove him to his car since the girls that brought him did not want to deal with him. Wife and I discussed it the next morning. I believe she is starting to see that he is a sleeze bag. But she said I do not want to think of my friend that way but that was not right how he acted. It has been a struggle to cope with this but I do love my wife and want to believe what she says and quite frankly the guy is a loser, both physically and mentally. If that is what she choses to hang with that is her issue not mine. I have decided to kind of let this work itself out. I will be keeping my eyes and hears open but I must trust her until she proves other wise. The things she has done while extremely suspicious are not solid ground for me to stand on.


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## Peridot

Good luck - 

I'm new to this forum, but let me say that her sending lingerie pictures to her guy friend is way skeezy! 

I have guy friends (and I'm married) and that would never happen!! NO WAY! Uh-uh! 

So, I don't know what the nature of that friendship is, but wow, she needs to reevaluate how her actions are affecting you. 

--

On a side note, just because there is a Slot A and a Tab A in the friendship does not mean it is a road for infidelity. 

I've had more than one or two aquiantences have affairs with people of the same gender! The whole men and women can't be friends without there being some kind of sexual nature to the "relationship" is a tired, old stereotype, imho.


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## texdude32

Things have been pretty good since holidays. No strange things although you can feel the wearyness between us. What I mean is I am very careful what I say to her because she will get the idea i do not trust her(really I have limited trust in her because the the past 9 months of issues) I have continued monitoring cell phone activity and the texts have gone down but they continue to talk or text everyday even weekends. She is very careful what she says to me or tells me about when it regards to him. This weekend she told me about a conversation at work with all the guys and girls( including the supervisor ) all the girsl where talking about sex and the boys joined in. They discussed what type of penis they like(long, thick ect), how they like to orgasm, how long sex last, where they like to do it(special places), oral sex ect... Now I know girls talk just as much as men do but I do not think that it is a good idea to have a group conversation about your sexual likes with the opposite sex. For sure it should not be your co-workers and boss. The talking with the girls does not bother, it is the open forum with the boys. So now these guys will be talking in there group about how my wife likes it. I would like to tell her how i feel about this but I am afraid she will go off on me about "I cannot do anything or talk to anyone with out you getting mad" then stop telling me about these conversations. It really amazes me how unprofessional their office is to have the supervisor condoning this type of behaivor.


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## GAsoccerman

well tex, I have to say I bet you earned HUGe brownie points with your wife witht his guy when you were man enough to drive him to his car.

What she saw in him...was a immature man who got drunk and is a "player" then you a responsible, loving husband who took the high road and was a good "man".

Her office seems immature, how long was she with the comany? is it a big company or a tiny company? 

I think she has "to go along with things" to fit in with the ladies she works with. But I think you can trust her.

You just tell her, when she talks about sex with her co-workers, just make sure she comments how good her hubby is in bed and you are ok with it. (teasing her)

I alway comment how hot my wife is and how awesome she is, I can flirt with anywoman, but they all know they don't stack up to my wife.

On a side note, there is not a female friend that I have, that I have not asked for a "bikini" pic from...so far I have received ZERO! LOL becuase they know I am joking.

I bet anything your wife is really disappointed in herself that she sent those pics to him and feels gross. Tell her you want some new ones, but only for your eyes only.

I bet she will like that, She likes the texting and flirting, time for you to "fill in" that gap. It excites her....So as the great hubby you are....take over.

every so often I make my wife send me a sexy pic from work, she laughs and giggles, she has to go int he rest room with her cell phone take the pic and send it to me...she always loves my reaction.

Makes her feel young, sexy and naughty.

Tex, take over and slowly push that sleave out of your life. Your high road stance has paid off my firend and she knows you are the man for her, and she loves that.

Kudo's


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## MarkTwain

texdude32-

I trust my wife not to do anything silly. Office chat can be fun. If she was involved in that kind of group conversation, I bet she would come home steaming hot. In that situation, it is important not to be the husband that puts the dampeners on everything. Otherwise she will associate work with fun, and home with boring duty.

Are you able to make the most of this?


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## GAsoccerman

that's true when we were in college one of my wife's sority sisters asked me, "so which side do you hang to? left or right?" I said, "well I don't know what do you think?" my wife strolled over to me, gave me a rub and said, "ladies he is a righty!" four ladies there at the time....

she had fun with it, and we continue to this day to have fun like that.

One day my wife was gardening out front and she was bent over and my neighbor drove by and say my wife's green thong hanging out of her pants....

He made a comment one time while we were hanging out, looking for my reaction. "I sid green? you sure I thought she had her blue ones on that day? Honey which thongs did you ahve on? " she replied, " the green ones, I gave Steve a nice view!" We caught him off guard.

:rofl:

have fun with it, makes the wife hotter


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## gabagool

HI

Beginning a "friendship" with someone of the opposite sex is is like trying heroin.

You try it once. You use more and more. Not EVERYONE becomes an addict, but 90% do. Is it worth it, even to try it once?

You have an opposite sex acquaintance at work. You develop a closer relationship, maybe, just maybe, you don't fall into a E or P affair, but the chances are slim. And even slimmer chance that a one time thing doesn't develop. Is it worth it? THere are PLENTY of people of the same sex who can be good friends. You are just temping fate and human weaknesses.

And sending sexy pitures? THe think the line has been crossed.


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## Peridot

gabagool said:


> HI
> 
> Beginning a "friendship" with someone of the opposite sex is is like trying heroin.
> 
> You try it once. You use more and more. Not EVERYONE becomes an addict, but 90% do. Is it worth it, even to try it once?
> 
> You have an opposite sex acquaintance at work. You develop a closer relationship, maybe, just maybe, you don't fall into a E or P affair, but the chances are slim. And even slimmer chance that a one time thing doesn't develop. Is it worth it? THere are PLENTY of people of the same sex who can be good friends. You are just temping fate and human weaknesses.
> 
> And sending sexy pitures? THe think the line has been crossed.


I'd be a pretty lonely person then. 

For some reason, women don't like me. I've never be able to "connect" with a female at work or at social gatherings. 

My only girlfriends are my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law and my mom. As much as I don't like not having any girlfriends that aren't related to me, it just doesn't seem to happen. Heck, I can't even get my female cousins to keep in touch!! 

A few times I've "hung out" with a few coworkers, usually because we were at a conference together or something like that... then I find out later how they've been telling my other coworkers how weird I am, or make fun of me behind my back (I've overheard both - we have cubicles, not walls). 

I like to talk about things like politics, art, music, decorating, philosophy, books, and myself. I listen to other people, I don't dominate the conversation with others, I'm not mean or inconsiderate or anything like that, so I don't know why I have such a rough time. 

The guys I've been friends with have only been gentlemen with me and not made me feel like as social retard.


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## GAsoccerman

I have 5 sisters, I connect very well to women, that is why I have so many female friends I also make a great wingman.


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## MarkTwain

I'm perfectly capable of having female friends without anything untoward happening. One of my wife's friends is a bit flirty when she comes round, but it's all just banter - in front of my wife I might add. No one feels threatened. It probably helps that in this particular case I don't fancy the woman in the least, although she is pleasant to look at and is interesting to talk to.

Not ever situation is chaos waiting to happen, although that's certainly a possibility with some people. I think the fact that we don't drink has a huge bearing on it. Religious people in particular are always cautioning against opposite sex friendships, where married people are concerned.

As FDR said, "We have nothing to fear except fear itself".


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## GAsoccerman

:iagree: with Mark...


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