# whats she wanting from me?



## Keeps Trying

hey everyone,in march u all gave me the advise to break contact with the girl I had been with for 7 years after a nasty break up we had when she got with a new guy within a week of splitting up and I did,for 2 and a half months we had no contact,then i started getting blocked calls with silence on the other end,then i got a couple texts asking about my son that we raised together,well last week I decided to be nice and allow her to see pictures and know whats going on in his life,we got pretty friendly and started talking more and more then calling each other to find our selves falling in love all over again,regretting breaking up,crying,apologizing,cursing our decision to give up the way we did,literally poured our hearts out to each other and it was very good feeling and felt like it used to,talking all night till we just couldnt stay awake any longer,texting each other 1st thing when we wake up,and thinking about each other all the time,BUT that's through the week when her bf doesn't stay with her,on the weekends he does and last night being the start of the weekend we talked like usualy up till she gets home and he comes over,then the texts slow down to almost nothing and she had kept talking about how she wishes things could be different and wishes thing would have worked when we was together,like it just impossible to get back together and she hasn't mentioned leaving him and still allows him to come over and stay all weekend,and that confuses me,what is she doing and what is she wanting???is she confused or playing games and most of all how should I handle this?I still love her and still want to be with her,do i continue to be nice and try to be patient or should i say screw this and go for broke by telling her how i feel about this (used and cheated). help is appreciated


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## honcho

You should just break off all contact with her. You are in essence the OM in her life right now. She apparently doesn’t want to chose between the two of you so she is playing both of you. She isn’t confused. She is getting what she wants. 

She knows how you feel already, playing nice and humoring the situation will only allow it to continue on and hold you back.


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## bandit.45

The time she called you all nice and weepy she and her new man were on the outs. So you being the nice safe guy she goes running to you. Now her and the new guy are made up and back together. So you are an afterthought again. 

You want to be her afterthought?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

He doesn't fulfill her like you do. SO she came back to you, unless her man is there and then she deals with him...but you've filled her tank so she's ok with not being filled by him.

Cut your losses, man. Drama begets drama. Find someone all about YOU.


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## Keeps Trying

bandit.45 said:


> The time she called you all nice and weepy she and her new man were on the outs. So you being the nice safe guy she goes running to you. Now her and the new guy are made up and back together. So you are an afterthought again.
> 
> You want to be her afterthought?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


no they wasnt split up,she works all week so he stays at his parents.


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## Keeps Trying

but as far as the other posts i really hate to break it off when i thought I was getting my life back,broke up 4 months ago and i haven't been with a single person yet and don't want to be,I know shes not happy with him and could be with me again.worst case sanario I could go with my last resort and make her choose,if she chooses him I'll know for sure


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## Thundarr

Keeps Trying said:


> what is she doing and what is she wanting???is she confused or playing games and most of all how should I handle this?I still love her and still want to be with her,do i continue to be nice and try to be patient or should i say screw this and go for broke by telling her how i feel about this (used and cheated). help is appreciated


You should worry about what are you doing? You're the OM.

Okay look in Webster and you'll see what you've written about her as the definition of "Cake eater".


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## that_girl

She did choose him.

I don't see you staying with her on weekends.

Cut your losses.


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## bandit.45

Just ignore her and move on. Why would you want to be in a three person relationship.?

Her ego is getting a huge boost by having two men pursue her. Very addictive. She doesn't want the attention to end.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45

Keeps Trying said:


> no they wasnt split up,she works all week so he stays at his parents.


Whatever dude. It's simple... She's a two- timer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

What she wants from you is to make her feel good about herself. Her man is away all week....she's lonely. Maybe he's busy.

But something keeps her with him. And you just pant after her like a pup.

Stop it. It's unattractive to women.


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## unbelievable

You are a back-up plan. If Mr. Right Now doesn't work out, she expects you will be waiting to take her back. She's probably terrified of being alone or terrified of paying alone.


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## that_girl

And on weekends, she gets lots of sex from that guy.

Ew, don't be the guy waiting around.


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## unbelievable

Whatever she wants with you, she doesn't want it badly enough to leave Mr. Right Now, so forget her.


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## Keeps Trying

that_girl said:


> What she wants from you is to make her feel good about herself. Her man is away all week....she's lonely. Maybe he's busy.
> 
> But something keeps her with him. And you just pant after her like a pup.
> 
> Stop it. It's unattractive to women.


woah,where did u get that from??? I havent been "panting after her" at all.Ive actually been way less flirty than her and a lil more platonic than her about the whole things for the exact reason of her still being with him.


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## honcho

Where did she spend last night? That alone should be the answer to all your questions. Ask her to choose, you will lose. The mere fact you are in this situation is basically telling her you are “panting after her”. 

Your not getting your life back, you are just holding onto a memory.


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## Thundarr

that_girl said:


> What she wants from you is to make her feel good about herself. Her man is away all week....she's lonely. Maybe he's busy.
> 
> But something keeps her with him. And you just pant after her like a pup.
> 
> Stop it. It's unattractive to women.





Keeps Trying said:


> woah,where did u get that from??? I havent been "panting after her" at all.Ive actually been way less flirty than her and a lil more platonic than her about the whole things for the exact reason of her still being with him.


Yes you are panting after her. You know she's playing you but you said you still love her and want to be with her in your very first quote.


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## JWTBL

Your original question is "what is she wanting from me? " She wants someone to talk to when her preferred person isn't around. I presume he doesn't know she is in contact with you when he's not there? My ex did the same thing to me - his girlfriend was only available to see him every other week and he is terrified of being alone so he would text or call me , and since I was still emotionally attached to him it would make me feel good and think it meant there was still a chance for us to work things out. Then I realized all it meant was his first choice wasn't available so he would just fall back on the familiar to help him cope. It's a very selfish, immature way of dealing with insecurities, playing an old emotional attachment against a new one until the new one is more permanent and reliable, never once considering what this sort of game playing does to people like us. 
When someone shows you who they are , believe it. I need to remind myself of this often. Good luck to you.


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## unbelievable

A better question might be, "why don't I expect better for myself?"


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## GusPolinski

Keeps Trying said:


> but as far as the other posts i really hate to break it off when i thought I was getting my life back,broke up 4 months ago and i haven't been with a single person yet and don't want to be,I know shes not happy with him and could be with me again.*worst case sanario I could go with my last resort and make her choose,if she chooses him I'll know for sure*


Save yourself some time and do ^this now. Otherwise just cut your losses and move on.


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## GusPolinski

Keeps Trying said:


> woah,where did u get that from??? I havent been "panting after her" at all.Ive actually been way less flirty than her and a lil more platonic than her about the whole things for the exact reason of her still being with him.


She left a seven-year relationship w/ you to be w/ this other guy; that you are even taking her calls speaks volumes about ^this to her.

Look, she may very well want something from you, but at best it's the emotional support and ego kibble that she's not getting from him. So, she calls you. He gets to do whatever during the week while you console her, and then he gets her -- all of her -- on the weekend, leaving you w/ nothing.

So at best you're getting half of her, and that half doesn't include any of the "benefits" of a physical relationship. All you're doing is helping to her to get through the week so that she can spend the weekend rocking his world. Hell, it's almost like she's back at your place w/ you during the week, and you're driving her over to his place for the weekend.

Don't be that guy -- you deserve better than that.

Really... is this so hard to figure out?


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