# Sharing intimate details of marriage and sex life with co-workers and friends



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This thread is about sharing intimate details of your marriage and sex life with co-workers and friends.

Do you do this?

Do you think it’s appropriate?

How would you feel if you found out that your spouse was doing this?

Is it appropriate for people to talk to their friends and co-workers about intimate details of their marriage and sex life?

If you share intimate details with friends and/or co-workers, does your spouse know about this?

What would your spouses say if the did know that your are spreading intimate details of your marriage, your sex life and them to the friends and/or co-workers?

ETA:

Family includes relatives & extended family

The question are about what you share in real life, not about anonymous forums online like TAM.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Lila said:


> Ha, you beat me to it. I'm deleting the thread I started.


Sorry 

Maybe you could post what you had in your thread here?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

HELL TO THE NO!! What happens between my Beloved and I is no ones business but ours.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> This thread is about sharing intimate details of your marriage and sex life with co-workers and friends.
> 
> Do you do this?
> 
> ...


The only time I have ever shared something in regards to my sex life was when asking a friend about what she was doing for birth control after I had a miscarriage when my son was just 6 months old and I was afraid of getting pregnant again using the same birth control method. This was shared with a close friend and not something I would share with just any friend and most definitely not with co-workers. 

I think it is extremely inappropriate to share any sex life details with co-workers. A co-worker of mine joked it was a "good time to get pregnant" when I had said when my due date was with my son, and that felt weird to me. I didn't care to hear any of that and changed the subject. 

I would be very upset if I found out my husband shared details of our sex life. That information is for us and maybe our doctor. That is not something I want people discussing and is private information to stay within the marriage.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I voted friends of same and opposite sex but there is only one couple that goes for. My wife is right there when the topic comes up. They are one couple that we talk about sex and marriage on a regular basis. They are closer to us and more trusted than any family member. She sometimes talks with the woman alone and I sometimes talk with the man alone but we never are alone with the opposite sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I do not speak with my co-workers about my marriage or sex life.

For a long time, I did not speak to any friends about it either, however I have started speaking about SOME facets of my marriage with one friend. My preference would be to speak with my wife about it instead, but she has made it clear that she's not comfortable talking to me about it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I don't share intimate details with friends or co-workers.

It's a huge breach of trust. If I was married to a man who did this I would not trust him. It would be enough to kill our marriage.

I agree with Lila, this is a trust issue. If a person cannot trust their spouse to keep their private sexual fantasies and actions private, then there is no trust in the relationship. And trust is needed for sexual intimacy.

If I need help.. it would go to a doctor, therapist or counselor, not to friends. And definitely not to co-workers.

If I want to learn about things related to sex I find sources that I can read.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> I voted friends of same and opposite sex but there is only one couple that goes for. My wife is right there when the topic comes up. They are one couple that we talk about sex and marriage on a regular basis. They are closer to us and more trusted than any family member. She sometimes talks with the woman alone and I sometimes talk with the man alone but we never are alone with the opposite sex.


To me this is different than want I meant this thread to be about. It's you and your wife together with people you both trust.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> I do not speak with my co-workers about my marriage or sex life.
> 
> For a long time, I did not speak to any friends about it either, however I have started speaking about SOME facets of my marriage with one friend. My preference would be to speak with my wife about it instead, but she has made it clear that she's not comfortable talking to me about it.


Is your wife okay with that?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Just to make it clear. My wife and I are in lock-step and agreement on what can be discussed with who and we both respect our boundaries.

We would both be mortified if one or the other of us stepped outside our boundaries on this issue. Trust and agreement are essential to any healthy relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> To me this is different than want I meant this thread to be about. It's you and your wife together with people you both trust.


Sorry Ele. I picked up on it late.&#55357;&#56842;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

To be clear, what I discuss is not sex-related. It's a personal matter that I feel affects my marriage, and which I attempted to discuss with my wife on many occasions, but was rebuffed.

I believe that attempting to talk about something that's very important to one spouse and getting shut down is also a breach of trust.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

No! Totally inappropriate!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

We did deal with this early in our relationship however. Mrs. Conan talked about my "unit" with her younger sister. I was not furious but told her it bothered me and we set up boundaries afterwards. She has absolutely respected them ever since.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> To be clear, what I discuss is not sex-related. It's a personal matter that I feel affects my marriage, and which I attempted to discuss with my wife on many occasions, but was rebuffed.
> 
> I believe that attempting to talk about something that's very important to one spouse and getting shut down is also a breach of trust.


Sorry Fozzy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I cannot understand any circumstance under which my sex life would EVER come at work as interesting or important. Just weird.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Most affairs (for heterosexuals) start with a person talking to an opposite sex friend about their marriage and often also their martial sex life.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Most affairs (for heterosexuals) start with a person talking to an opposite sex friend about their marriage and often also their martial sex life.


Yup.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Absolutely not - except with some very select close friends we swing with.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> Absolutely not - except with some very select close friends we swing with.


You???? Holy cow. You're joking.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Co-workers? Nope, never.

OSF? Nope, never.

Best same sex friends? 
Me: Yes. I'm pretty open with details with three or four of my best friends, who are likewise as open about the intimate details of their relationships and sex life.

Her: Yes. She has two best friends she's very open with regarding marriage and sex.

We both know. We're both fine with it.

What we never do is bash each other, bash our marriage and since all things are pretty damn good, this isn't a ***** & moan session with these people. It doesn't really sound like "us" at all to be sitting around with friends, belly aching and tearing down each other and our marriage.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

And here I thought intimate relations were one of the few subjects that always remained a "secret" between two people.
Maybe had I not been engrained with that delusion, it wouldn't have taken me twenty years to discover the perpetual cheating.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hookares said:


> And here I thought intimate relations were one of the few subjects that always remained a "secret" between two people.
> Maybe had I not been engrained with that delusion, it wouldn't have taken me twenty years to discover the perpetual cheating.


Ouch!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Most affairs (for heterosexuals) start with a person talking to an opposite sex friend about their marriage and often also their martial sex life.


Ok that is fair. I don't understand affairs at all. I cannot understand how fog would cause one to make such a stupid decision.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Ok that is fair. I don't understand affairs at all. I cannot understand how fog would cause one to make such a stupid decision.


I had to study for years and I still don't really get it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woman (Aug 19, 2011)

Just my sister, but not sexy details.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Here's what I posted in the other thread:

I work in a factory as well - convos like this are absolutely the norm.<br />
Keep in mind we work a lot of hours together, many years together, and are with each other more often than our own families.<br/>


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Co-workers? Nope, never.
> 
> OSF? Nope, never.
> 
> ...


Same. 

I do think healthy discussion about sex in general is important and beneficial. Sex is not something that should be a taboo topic. But bagging a partner or whinging about them to others is disrespectful to me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Holland said:


> Same.
> 
> I do think healthy discussion about sex in general is important and beneficial. Sex is not something that should be a taboo topic. But bagging a partner or whinging about them to others is disrespectful to me.


I think that there is a difference between a healthy discussions about sex and a person telling their coworkers and friends thinks like their wife is sore today because he banged her hard last night. (that was one of the example topics of discussion with a coworker that lead to me starting this thread).


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I think that there is a difference between a healthy discussions about sex and a person telling their coworkers and friends thinks like their wife is sore today because he banged her hard last night. (that was one of the example topics of discussion with a coworker that lead to me starting this thread).


I agree Ele that is what I meant, discussion about sex is great but details like you posted above being discussed with co workers is crass IMHO and belittling to the person being discussed, way over the line of respect.


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## vms (Dec 17, 2014)

I would find it inappropriate. I don't discuss those details with anyone, and I'm sure he doesn't either, and I don't want to hear those details about anyone else. 

I come from a family where we can joke about sex, and not shy away from the topic, but we do not go into details.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

No way would I discuss intimate details with my co-workers of either sex. OSF no way.

I do have 3 really good same sex friends and we talk in generalities but not specifics.

I heard of one instance of a woman telling her best friend about her sex life with her husband and how well endowed he was and how he was good in bed. That info got best friend interested in the husband and she ended up going after the guy and either had an affair or tried to have an affair.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ConanHub said:


> I voted friends of same and opposite sex but there is only one couple that goes for. My wife is right there when the topic comes up. They are one couple that we talk about sex and marriage on a regular basis. They are closer to us and more trusted than any family member. She sometimes talks with the woman alone and I sometimes talk with the man alone but we never are alone with the opposite sex.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is how we are... one friend of mine, known her since 2nd grade...in girl scouts together, she was there when I met my H... I heard all about hers when she met him at a Mormon dance...back then we talked about our boundaries with our boyfriends.. we watched our children grow up together ..

We were there through so many of their hardships from 2 daughters being molested by a relative -how her Husband wanted to rip this man from limb to limb/ his sharing this anger with us...to a very low point in their marriage ...his stepping out on her ....her calling me with her pain, what to do.. her world crashing down.... to leave him...to stay.. They've sat in our living room -his pouring out his remorse as a Husband, how he can never look himself in the mirror again...how he thinks the world of his wife....deep conversations we've had...heart felt, emotional at times... 

A little sex talk seems so little in comparison to the places we have went with these friends...

But it's not a disrespectful type sex talk that is being focused on here...our conversations are LIGHT.. yet OPEN....there is laughing -joking.....like my admitting.. "OMG what happens to us women in Mid life, did you start to feel this way _____"... then my H will jump in saying "She's killing me !" and act like he is dying..but there is a big grin on his face....things of this nature.. or some story where they did it in the graveyard one night -with planes over head ...(H reminded me of that one)... or we almost got caught on our trampoline by surveyors... 

Sex comes up OFTEN at his work place...it's a bunch of guys!...this is still more of a Jokey nature... .. a few of H's comments they latched onto...they might ask what type of nuts he has in his lunch & he'll tell them those are for his testosterone...he gives them something to chew on... ..he's had 2 of the guys at work coming to him asking to try some "stiff nights".....I guess he became the "erection on demand" man.. 

Now they have another one where his wife just turned 40... and I guess his wife is waking him up every night for it...and he's coming to work tired.. 

Again.. this is not intimate disrespectful stuff.. just light hearted - LIFE / marriage talk....with some laughs.. wouldn't it all be so boring without some of this. 

There is always a line though.. how to define that ... it's an interesting question.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Nope. I don't share any intimate details of my relationship or sex life with friends or family. But I think they can tell how happy I am by my "after-glow" the days we have a morning romp! (Or an afternoon romp. Or an evening romp.)

:rofl:

Great thread, btw.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I've brought up things here on TAM, what does that count as?

Also, there isn't a choice on here for relatives, so I wasn't sure where that would fall either. As dysfunctional as the relationship between me and my mother is (it's all over the boards, not going to rehash it here), she has herself been successfully married for 23 years to my step-father. So I have on occasion asked her advice, but I rarely get into a lot of detail.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Starstarfish said:


> I've brought up things here on TAM, what does that count as?


This thread is about what you do in real life. Posting on an anonymous forum online is a completely different thing. But it's not part of this poll/thread. 




Starstarfish said:


> Also, there isn't a choice on here for relatives, so I wasn't sure where that would fall either.


Um, in the broader since, relatives are family. I certainly meant it that way. Maybe I'll add that to the OP.



Starstarfish said:


> As dysfunctional as the relationship between me and my mother is (it's all over the boards, not going to rehash it here), she has herself been successfully married for 23 years to my step-father. So I have on occasion asked her advice, but I rarely get into a lot of detail.


So your response would be that you do not share intimate details.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I've never shared with co-workers. I have shared relationship information with friends. Rarely sexual information.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Fozzy said:


> To be clear, what I discuss is not sex-related. It's a personal matter that I feel affects my marriage, and which I attempted to discuss with my wife on many occasions, but was rebuffed.
> 
> I believe that attempting to talk about something that's very important to one spouse and getting shut down is also a breach of trust.


This is where I am, too. I can't afford a counselor and my H avoids having such conversations. I shut down for years and it ate away at me. My H doesn't like that I've talked to others, to which I replied that if he would talk to me then I wouldn't have to confide in friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wanttolove (Jan 25, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How would you feel if you found out that your spouse was doing this?
> 
> Is it appropriate for people to talk to their friends and co-workers about intimate details of their marriage and sex life?
> ETA:
> ...


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> This thread is about sharing intimate details of your marriage and sex life with co-workers and friends.
> 
> Do you do this?
> 
> ...


The odd thing here is that sometimes more remote people will hear more. Close friends and family are also close to your spouse. If you need someone to talk to, it might well be better to talk to someone further removed. I wonder how many would speak to a religious figure?

Also, there are cultural differences. I have exchanged conversation about how our sex lives are with my next door neighbour, as we are in Scandinavia. I would not do this in the USA as it would be highly inappropriate in that culture.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Fozzy said:


> To be clear, what I discuss is not sex-related. It's a personal matter that I feel affects my marriage, and which I attempted to discuss with my wife on many occasions, but was rebuffed.
> 
> I believe that attempting to talk about something that's very important to one spouse and getting shut down is also a breach of trust.


I have had similar experiences and have confided in a good friend of mine of over 20 years. He has been in a happy marriage longer than I've known him and helped me survive my first divorce. Sex issues I keep to myself, not that there is much to tell.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wanttolove said:


> EleGirl said:
> 
> 
> > How would you feel if you found out that your spouse was doing this?
> ...


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> wanttolove said:
> 
> 
> > I agree that if a person has one or two very trusted friends, it can be good to confide in them and use them as a sounding board.
> ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mr The Other said:


> The odd thing here is that sometimes more remote people will hear more. Close friends and family are also close to your spouse. If you need someone to talk to, it might well be better to talk to someone further removed. I wonder how many would speak to a religious figure?


When I was younger, I did talk to my mother, siblings and friends about marital problems (not anything sexual). I thought that was a good way to get advise. But over time I realized that they were not objective and just my cheerleaders. Plus they gossiped a lot and by the time I got back to me it did not resemble what I had told them.

So I learned to be very careful who I talked about these things and to seek out people who did not now us.. objective people. 



Mr The Other said:


> Also, there are cultural differences. I have exchanged conversation about how our sex lives are with my next door neighbour, as we are in Scandinavia. I would not do this in the USA as it would be highly inappropriate in that culture.


Does your wife know that you tell your neighbor intimate, sexual things about her?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mr The Other said:


> As a man, I pretty much expect girls to talk. I could be wrong in this, but I am not shocked if they have been.


According to Mr. Cugglebug, boys talk and gossip about their intimate marriage and sex details a lot.

You tell your neighbor. So obviously some boys do this.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So obviously some boys do this.


I have never and have never had anyone confide in me about their sex life, while married.

I _thought_ there was an unspoken "guy code" about this.

ONS sure. Your wife, not a chance. That's a death sentence!  :rofl:


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

We joke with friends about our sex lives. Not details tho.... although I don't think we do anything too far out, so details wouldn't bother me. 

Through joking tho, I do know the names for their genitals, and when they get some. I guess all they really know about our sex life is that we have sex often and in a variety of places, and that we really, really like it!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I find this an interesting topic. Why? Because, for reasons I simply cannot discern, my estranged husband told me some intimate details of his sex life with his ex-wife.

Granted, we were married. But why the heck would I want to know she suffered from vaginal dryness. Why would I want to know she loved it when he went down on her?

I was so disgusted and ticked off that he shared these details with me, which I felt was showing a total lack of respect for his ex, I told him, "Do you want me to discuss the length and angle of my ex-husband's penis with you?!?!?"

And to respond to this question in general, no. I keep my business to myself and on my side of the street. I find the topic of people's personal sex lives about as interesting as the details of their latest fad diet ...

Sorry if I hijacked this thread a bit, but sometimes I still scratch my head and wonder why my husband felt any need whatsoever to tell me his ex had a dry vagina ... seriously.:scratchhead:


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

It starts simple...


Hey Trickster...what did you do over the weekend?

Me.... went to the Pops Concert Symphony

Them....sorry man... Your wife made you go?

Me... No, I was invited by some friends. There was just one extra ticket..

Them.... You went WITHOUT your wife? She let you go?


And

How was your weekend Trick?

Me....Had a great time... I went on a 13 mile hike with my meet up group..


Them....thats awesome, did you wife go?

Me...No...It's not her thang

Them.... What's her thang?

Me... She usually stays at home with our daughter.

Them.....No....what does she do for her own entertainment?

One simple innocent question leads to so much more...


Why so sad Trick?

Why are you not you normal cheerful self?

You seem preoccupied... What's going on?


I love to cook. When the women start talking about recipes, I chime in with one of mine...i cant believe i exchange recipes with women... Eventually one will ask my favorite dish my wife cooks or what my wife was going to make for dinner when I get home...

That leads to more things I probably shouldn share. I guess I can lie and say my wife is an amazing cook and make up some fancy dish she makes. The truth is that I usually made dinner when I got home, even when my wife was a SAHM


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> I find this an interesting topic. Why? Because, for reasons I simply cannot discern, my estranged husband told me some intimate details of his sex life with his ex-wife.
> 
> Granted, we were married. But why the heck would I want to know she suffered from vaginal dryness. Why would I want to know she loved it when he went down on her?
> 
> ...


But some guys here on TAM say that they want their gf/wife to give them every detail of every sexual encounter they ever had... I don't get it.  :scratchhead:

I would think your husband doing that led to you loosing trust in him. After all what is he telling others. Especially now that he is your ex.

When I was dating my son's father, I knew that he had a box with naked photos he took of girlfriends in the past. There was an incident in which one of his friends was giving a presentation in some professional capacity. He asked my then bf for one of the nudes so he could make it his first slide of the presentation.. you know to get the attention of the other guys. This was before plenty of nudes could be downloaded from the internet.

I was first disgusted that his friend thought that was something cool to do. It was the last time that guy came around me. I was even more disgusted at my bf for giving him the photo. I lost complete trust of him in this area.

He always wanted to take intimate photos of me. Never happened. No telling where they would end up.

Yes I stupidly married him. That should have been enough to send him packing. But that's another topic, not for here.


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## wanttolove (Jan 25, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> wanttolove said:
> 
> 
> > I agree that if a person has one or two very trusted friends, it can be good to confide in them and use them as a sounding board.
> ...


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Does your wife know that you tell your neighbor intimate, sexual things about her?


There is no intimate details and it does not include any martial details. Only recent stuff and a general overview like the weather.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> According to Mr. Cugglebug, boys talk and gossip about their intimate marriage and sex details a lot.
> 
> You tell your neighbor. So obviously some boys do this.


There is a difference between a general overview talk with details and identities.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I was with my GF yesterday...the same one I mentioned in my last post on this thread... we were talking about all sorts of subjects...we spoke on the "Hooking up culture"...SEX and today's youth .. it sprang from there ...her asking me if I knew that only 30% of women orgasm through intercourse....

I learned she was in that 30%...I said "Me too" with a .... This led to her telling me she would be considered "FRIGID" .... ...(getting interesting now).. as she explained she is one of those women who can go WEEKS without feeling horny or needing it.. but then she related (which she has shared in the past with me) how her husband takes a full hour to get off.. so it probably makes sense she is not one who wants to do it very often.. she is WORN OUT!!... 

She then shared she got so good for a time that she had it down to 20 minutes.. I was thinking it was because of meds he was on.. but it's NOT...he's always been this way..... and how as he is getting older, it takes even longer.. it's so bad she wants him to see a Doctor... I guess his prostrate is enlarged. ...he will be getting a full work up soon. 

So yeah... some of this would be considered intimate details.... but for us.. this is just not a big deal.. she knows I post on this forum...she knows I have read many books relating to sexual anything /everything... if anything I am the ONE friend she does confide in.... we've known each other a lifetime (40 + yrs)..... neither has betrayed any trusts.. 

I think we all need wisdom on *who* to open up with.. in my friends case, maybe she wanted a listening ear on that.. I am happy she trusts me to go here...and I feel the same about her, if I needed to talk..


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

I voted that I shared information with friends of the same sex. I don't anymore since that friend went kinda crazy on us and I found out she wanted my husband, so I've learned my lesson. I don't believe my husband shares intimate details with anyone else. We have both done this before and it has not led us to good things. In the future, neither of us will be sharing any information with anyone outside our marriage.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I think it's fine to share whatever our spouses are okay with. I'm just not the sharing type so I don't do it. But I must come across as trustworthy or safe to others because my ears bleed at some of the stuff I hear.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wanttolove said:


> I'm a husband.
> 
> I would be OK with it. I want my wife to talk but she is not the type to talk to anyone about personal issues, sexual or relationship with me or otherwise. And she doesn't like that I will. She needs to talk to others because she needs to hear herself talk about me and also because she needs to hear about relationships from a friend's perspective.


Do you think that it will help her to tell friends and family about the angle of your dangle? How about she tell everyone about any time you fail to perform sexually? How about every kinky thing you do?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

#1 Mr The Other said:


> Also, there are cultural differences. I have exchanged conversation about how our sex lives are with my next door neighbour, as we are in Scandinavia. I would not do this in the USA as it would be highly inappropriate in that culture.





#2 EleGirl said:


> Does your wife know that you tell your neighbor intimate, sexual things about her?





#3 Mr The Other said:


> There is no intimate details and it does not include any martial details. Only recent stuff and a general overview like the weather.


:scratchhead: In #1 above is sounds like you did exchange details.

If you did not exchange details, why would it be inappropriate in the USA?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Put me in the don't care if you talk to trusted friends about our sex life category. Not appropriate at work, or with a group of casual acquaintances, but when your next-door neighbor/wife's best friend is also a rep for the sex toy industry, some things are bound to come up for discussion.

Likewise, my brother has talked to me in some depth about his depression and alcoholism, and I my sex life. You have to have someone to commiserate with.


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## nikoled (Mar 12, 2014)

Nope, definitely not appropriate in the workplace. My friends, and really just best friend, know a "little" bit and really only because of my husband's affair....Yes, he chose to share in the workplace and it lead to an affair. Not a good idea!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> if anything I am the ONE friend she does confide in.... we've known each other a lifetime (40 + yrs)..... neither has betrayed any trusts..


I find I too serve this role in a few people's lives. Since many are squeamish or extremely conservative about sex, it's amazing how relieved people are to find someone they can have an open, honest dialogue with who they trust to be helpful and non-judgemental. 

There are a few guys in my life who tell frank details about their sexual lives who'd NEVER do so with any of their other friends. I for one count it an honor and privilege to be trusted in that way.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> :scratchhead: In #1 above is sounds like you did exchange details.
> 
> If you did not exchange details, why would it be inappropriate in the USA?


In the USA, people are often embarrassed by the very mention of sex. I would not generally share private details about my relationship and sex would be included in that. However, I know my neighbour well enough to discuss her social, professional and sexual life in vague terms, but I would not go into detail in any of them. However, that there has been sufficient and it is very nice thank you seems perfectly reasonable and perhaps that it has been about lacking over the last few weeks.

In the USA, discussing sex is very taboo. I recall when a lady in the USA was discussing the struggle of getting clothes to fit her, I mentioned a previous girlfriend who also had very læarge breasts and had similar problems. I could tell I had shocked my American friends by being specific, even though it was evident why she had difficulty buying clothes. In respect of that, I am far more discreet about all sexual subjects in the USA as opposed to Europe.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I know my wife will share intimate details of our marriage with your cousin. Those two are like Lucy and Ethel. I'm all good with that. She never shares it with coworkers or anyone else for that matter. I share intimate details with no one. I don't need to feel the need to vent and really have nothing to vent about. If I have an issue my W and I work it out.


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## wanttolove (Jan 25, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Do you think that it will help her to tell friends and family about the angle of your dangle? How about she tell everyone about any time you fail to perform sexually? How about every kinky thing you do?


Nope. Not appropriate. Definitely not OK to go that far.


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## Vanille (Dec 13, 2014)

I told one girl friend about my sex life, mostly for support. I told her pretty much everything there is to tell and my Husband found out and was extremely pissed. Considering all the problems we were having, I felt it was more a cry for help rather than gossip/venting. Otherwise I think it's not good to talk about it, or at least not to mutual friends! Maybe if it's a friend who has never even met your significant other, as it wouldn't really impact either of them. Not 100% sure, I hadn't really put much thought to it.


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