# How to initiate



## Margaret (Mar 31, 2008)

I need help. I don't know how to approach the husband any more for sex. How do I get him revved up? Like we are in bed getteng ready to go to sleep, what should I do?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

start playing footsies with him, start rubbing your hands on his body....simply things like that.

you can put on something sexy...

there are many things that can turn a man on....#1 is when the woman wants him and shows it...

oh so yummy!


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

I had exactly the same problem we have been married for 18/19 years and after he had a affair i stopped initiating anything and things went like that for 6 years !! 
How did i start to initiate? Just a simple text message whilst he was at work started the process just a simple i wish i was in bed with you right now !! 
I even arranged a night away with out him knowing and on the way i just said i hope you have loads of energy for what i have planned !!
Now we are both a lot happier and gone are the days where we would go to bed and id lay there thinking wow do i need to make love and do nothing about it !!!! what a waste lol good luck


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## BlueRoseRed (Mar 21, 2009)

I play with my H's balls, then his ****, then I start giving him oral... that always works. Simple and direct...lol


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

Men like it when women say they want it. Be assertive and tell him to get ready. If he has a pulse and is a man, he will be interested. Lingerie, toys, etc have their place but there is nothing more of a turn on for most men to hear that a wife wants it and wants him!


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

Try giving him a little time to get himself psyched up. Also don't be too overt if that isn't his scene, because not every guy is into it.

Just tell him in the afternoon that you fancy an early night, that'll give him plenty of time to sort himself out rather than just springing it on him.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

you need to communicate in a more seductive way...my wife always says things like... 
the more hardcore ones. 
" man i need to be totally drilled right now"
" i need you to seriously pound the life out me right now"
" if you dont want to have sex with me right now ill give MMA_FIGHTER a call" <-----just kidding on this one.
" god i feel like being really submissive right now, whats gotten into me?"
" honey i find you soooo irresistable i want you to do everything to me, and i mean everything"


or something more subtle like
" ive been a really bad girl today"
" you should probably punish me for all the dirty thoughts ive had about you all day while you were at work"
" for some reason i keep wanting to touch myself when you are near me"

i love when my wife tells me she has been bad....thats my favorite one.
one of these is garanteed to work....am i wrong guys?


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

All sounds good to me. How'd you get your wife to say these things?


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## shirley66 (Mar 18, 2009)

I agree with GAsoccerman and BlueRoseRed. I really don't want to be the initiator so it is difficult but there isn't a choice, I went without for a very long time because he wouldn't do it. Also, if you usually go to bed with clothes on, take them off.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

BlueRoseRed said:


> I play with my H's balls, then his ****, then I start giving him oral... that always works. Simple and direct...lol


This is my favorite my wife does. It leaves no mixed messages, and is pretty straight to the point. :smthumbup:


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## Mdcl33 (Mar 20, 2009)

Must be nice to have a wife that direct and to the point. Been married 12 years and my wife never does that.


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## T-Dub (Feb 2, 2009)

BlueRoseRed said:


> I play with my H's balls, then his ****, then I start giving him oral... that always works. Simple and direct...lol


You have been taught well!!


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## wastingtime (Mar 29, 2009)

I'm on the opposite side of this situation. I am the one that always initiates! He says "that's just not me". Well, I stopped initiating and he got the message. You really need to make an effort to initiate some of the time. You need to make him feel wanted and desired. I always just go right for the "package". Just start to touch him. Wear a really sexy nightie. Maybe start with him laying on his stomach and give him a mild backrub and then have him turn over and work on the front all the way down until you reach his mid section and then slow down even more and just start touching him. If he doesn't get the message by that nothing will work. 

I've started counseling with my husband and we are slowly covering these issues. Communication is the key. If you can give him hints throughout the day that also helps.

Good Luck


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

my wife is smart and she knows that i notice a nice booty before anything else..she is black...well actually shes half jamaican and irish, so not only is she a drunk she is also a pot head...jk. she initiates it by simply dropping something in front of me then bending over in her green silk pantys i got her and just says oops....(drooling) such a turn on


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## Immortalrh (Aug 8, 2012)

I would say that it depends on your man. I will say that I have gone through periods of my 13 year marriage that there were days that my wife could have done all of that and I only would have complied because I didn’t want to hurt her feeling. Other times just being in the room was enough. 
Now a days, snuggling up next to me naked does just fine


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

All men and women have their own individual switches you know...

The thing is, my wife has learnt my buttons and switches over the years and has the seduction of me down to an art. For a time though she had forgotten that even after marriage seduction is imperative for a healthy sex life.

After she got a bit too comfortable she began "initiating" skipping the foreplay/romance/tease etc. And if she didn't get it, she became argumentative, demanding, forceful, and outright spoiled/selfish. Yup, that turned me off straight away. But thankfully, her style is much better nowadays.

First, find out what he physically enjoys, what he loves about your body. My wife for example, knows how much I love her legs and how she carries herself, so she makes sure to keep her legs smooth and carries herself very seductively, but that's just the prep. Next step is catching his eye - and this takes time and patience. How you walk, how you sit, how you lie, how you look at him - all that builds arousal.

Next step is the flirting, and some guys like myself, we love a good tease and a challenge. Be playful, be fun, be cute, don't take it so seriously. With your body, show it off, only to hide it again (that drives us men NUTS!), flirt with him, taunt him, challenge him.

All those combined, with the right situation and the right words, means = boner. Keep teasing it and it'll start coming for you! lol


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