# Girls who won't wear dresses.



## Miss Honey

Hi,

Just wanted to get some advice from the parenting wise - I don't have kids myself.

I love my 5 year old niece and she's not a tomboy - but she doesn't like wearing dresses or skirts. I'd like to get or make her a really nice outfit for Christmas - I fondly remember party dresses and 'princess outfits' made for me around that age - but all that clothing stores and sewing shops only seem to stock is awesome princess dresses or fairy skirts - or shirts and pants which are 'trendy and cool' but they aren't fun or really special occasion.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks in advance!


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## mablenc

Try Etsy.com or maybe have her sit with you and shop online there.


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## JustTired

I would probably do what the above poster stated. Have her sit with you online & look at dresses. Make sure she likes the dress or she is not going to wear it. ;-)


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## clipclop2

why does she say she doesn't like dresses?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial

Why would you want to get her something that she won't like?


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## Giro flee

I have always hated dresses. My mom would force me into them for years. Once I got out of her control I never wore another dress. Ugh, I just loathe them. 

My mom still buys dresses for my daughter, who doesn't care for dresses either. We just say thanks and donate them to charity. It mystifies me that she wants to give things that she knows my daughter won't enjoy. These dresses always came with those expensive dolls that you aren't supposed to play with, they just sit on a shelf and look pretty.


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## CantePe

I hate dresses. If one of my kids or nieces didn't like them either I wouldn't gift what they don't like.

Each person has individual tastes, respect that persons likes and dislikes.


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## Dollystanford

Why should she wear a dress if she doesn't like them? My sister didn't wear a dress until she was 16


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## clipclop2

While the OP wants to give the girl the feelings SHE used to get from a new fun dress she is failing to recognize that the girl is her own person with her own likes and dislikes. The only thing this experiment will do is make them both feel bad. The girl will feel less accepted for who she is and will also feel guilty for not appreciating something that someone else who is different clearly would appreciate. She gets to feel ungrateful and wrong all because someone else can't accept her for who she is.

This is a really bad idea no matter how nice the OP is trying to be. The gift should be about the girl, not about the OP.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Miss Honey said:


> Hi,
> 
> Just wanted to get some advice from the parenting wise - I don't have kids myself.
> 
> I love my 5 year old niece and she's not a tomboy - but she doesn't like wearing dresses or skirts. I'd like to get or make her a really nice outfit for Christmas - I fondly remember party dresses and 'princess outfits' made for me around that age - but all that clothing stores and sewing shops only seem to stock is awesome princess dresses or fairy skirts - or shirts and pants which are 'trendy and cool' but they aren't fun or really special occasion.
> 
> Anyone have any suggestions?
> 
> Thanks in advance!


Sure, window shop with her online. 
If she doesn't like dresses, she will ADORE you for helping her to get something she can wear for the holidays that makes her happy and appeases everyone else. Be sure to check the boy's sections for really nice plaid / velvet pants & trousers. She would also do well with leggings and boots, and a tunic or long sweater.


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## Runs like Dog

My neighbor's daughter wears costumes all the time. Fairy princess, Wonder Woman, Ballerina/super hero combo. 

It's pretty awesome.


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## clipclop2

Younger daughter did this. Older dressed up for imaginative play but no gowns, etc. Younger one was a princess and wore her booiful gown and her clip-clop shoes - little sparkly clear plastic shoes. 

yep that's where my ID came from.


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## Miss Honey

I can't really sit down with her and internet shop - I'd love to do that, or take her out on a shopping trip - but unfortunately we live 2300 miles away from each other. 

I don't have any issue with what she wants to wear, she doesn't have to wear skirts and dresses. I know it's not about me, for all i care she can wear camouflage kit and steel capped boots - if it makes her happy (so people can point the judgement cannon away now.) I have just wanted to get her something special occasion-y, not something 'everyday' and I was wondering if anyone knew of any good stores - or if anyone had similar problems when looking for young children's clothes which are flashy-nice but not gender specific.


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## NextTimeAround

Given all the trauma that I received at the hands of "well-meaning" relatives, I often wonder what it might be like to be raised by parents who didn't care what I looked like or how I dressed.

I realise that there are / can be exceptions. OP does your niece's family go to church where the women are pressured to wear dresses? These days, very few schools have dress codes, but I do agree that if a student / family wants to attend a certain school, that would be one of the prices that you pay for attending it.

I can't think of any other occassions these days in which a girl would be required to wear a dress. 

Ideally, I would say let her be and let her decide how she wants to present herself to the world based on the personal experiences that she encounters.


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## clipclop2

It sounds like you still want to get her a dress.


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## Miss Taken

I have many awkward family photos of me feigning a smile while holding up the new dress I got that year for Christmas. I know it's the thought that counts but I would have preferred something else. 

Personally, I wouldn't get her a dress. As an adult I love dresses and skirts but back then they just weren't practical for playing and only wore them to weddings or church. Even if it was only be worn for special occasions. Special occasions are few and far between where a dress is required, and at five, kids are still growing really fast so she may never end up wearing it. 

I'd ask her mom and dad what she really enjoys but doesn't own or something she's been asking for but they don't want to buy/can't afford. Or if there is a set of something (Disney movie collection, book collection etc.) that is missing an item that you can add to. Alternatively, if you still want something girly, a piece of jewelry like a nice necklace with a locket or a charm bracelet she can add to over the years is something she can keep for many years to come if sized right whereas the dress won't fit her very long.


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## EnjoliWoman

I'd look online for special occasion stuff that isn't a dress. Maybe she would even like a compromise like culottes (does that show my age?) But I'm sure there are dress pants in fabrics like velvet or even velvet leggings with a long top as was suggested by another poster. As you obviously recognize, festive and dressy doesn't have to equate to 'dress'.


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## Almostrecovered




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## turnera

My DD24 wouldn't wear dresses until she was about 12, and started caring about boys and peer pressure. Today she's totally girly. Don't push it on her. If you have to get her a dress, get one that's knit material and feels like a t-shirt, or she won't wear it.


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## D.H Mosquito

Nothing to worry about my daughter only started liking dresses at 15 years, just buy her what she is happiest in and let her be herself


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## turnera

I just remembered my SIL arranged for a photo session once with her son and my daughter, she was about 5. SIL always wanted girls, was always buying my DD girly stuff that went unused. Well, I showed up at the photo shoot and DD was wearing a red t-shirt, white pants, and a white baseball cap. She was adorable! But SIL was OH so mad at me for not bringing her in a fancy dress (which DD would NOT have kept on for 2 minutes).


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## SurpriseMyself

A five year old that doesn't wear dresses/isn't into clothes just wants a TOY for Christmas.

A good gift giver thinks about the recipient as much if not more than what they actually "want" to give that person.


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## SurpriseMyself

Almostrecovered said:


>


:rofl: The pink nightmare totally nails it.


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## john117

Sometimes dresses don't look right on them. My older girl is simply not the dress type. She worships H&M and Nordstrom Rack hipster clothes to go with her reality TV Kim Kardashian looks. Dresses - unless the party dress type - simply don't look right on her.

The younger one looks stunning in a dress - what I would best describe as "classical European beauty" looks. She wears dresses in college


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## Mr. Nail

Speaking of church, schools, and dress codes. My Son (16) started wearing ties to school on Thursdays about 2 years ago. A certain group of kids followed along. The first year he had a chat with the vice principal, but the VP couldn't find a way that the dress code could be interpreted to restrict kids from dressing above code, the matter was put aside. Some girls began wearing skirts or dresses on Thursday. The look they were pushing was "professional". This year he reports that some of the girls feel intimidated by his over dressing. I personally think it is more a symptom of his general attitude. He has no patience with incompetence.
MN


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## SurpriseMyself

Mr. Nail said:


> Speaking of church, schools, and dress codes. My Son (16) started wearing ties to school on Thursdays about 2 years ago. A certain group of kids followed along. The first year he had a chat with the vice principal, but the VP couldn't find a way that the dress code could be interpreted to restrict kids from dressing above code, the matter was put aside. Some girls began wearing skirts or dresses on Thursday. The look they were pushing was "professional". This year he reports that some of the girls feel intimidated by his over dressing. I personally think it is more a symptom of his general attitude. He has no patience with incompetence.
> MN


Hear, hear to your son! 

There was a trend at my high school in the early 90s for boys to wear button down shirts, khaki shorts, and "bucks." Some wore ties with the look. Preppy? Yes. Appropriate? Absolutely!


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## Anonymous07

SurpriseMyself said:


> A five year old that doesn't wear dresses/isn't into clothes just wants a TOY for Christmas.
> 
> A good gift giver thinks about the recipient as much if not more than what they actually "want" to give that person.


I hated dresses as a child and would awkwardly smile in pictures when forced to wear them for what ever occasion. I think it would be better to get her something she'll love, not something you'll love. As said above, the best gift givers are ones who go for what the recipient really wants.


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## turnera

Mr. Nail said:


> Speaking of church, schools, and dress codes. My Son (16) started wearing ties to school on Thursdays about 2 years ago. A certain group of kids followed along. The first year he had a chat with the vice principal, but the VP couldn't find a way that the dress code could be interpreted to restrict kids from dressing above code, the matter was put aside. Some girls began wearing skirts or dresses on Thursday. The look they were pushing was "professional". This year he reports that some of the girls feel intimidated by his over dressing. I personally think it is more a symptom of his general attitude. He has no patience with incompetence.
> MN


What was that show where the parents were hippies and the son (Michael J Fox) became an ultra-conservative?


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## Mr. Nail

I remember that show, but my son's group was the electronics class.
MN


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