# Ex coming to my church??



## COguy

This one is confusing for me. Even when married my ex never came to our church that often. Maybe a dozen times. I've been going there and actively involved for 3 and a half years. Since the split almost 3 years ago, she has not been to our church one time.

A few weeks ago she started acting really nice and sweet, and pulling the super mom routine. Not sure what's going on, trouble in paradise maybe? Anyway I wasn't at church this sunday but I found out that she brought the kids and attended. I'm completely caught off guard by this.

I can't really fathom a motive here, short of wanting to stir sh*t up. What would you do?

I should also note that she moved about 40 minutes away so this is not convenient for her at all, and she was attending another church much closer to her house with her friend.


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## arbitrator

COguy said:


> This one is confusing for me. Even when married my ex never came to our church that often. Maybe a dozen times. I've been going there and actively involved for 3 and a half years. Since the split almost 3 years ago, she has not been to our church one time.
> 
> A few weeks ago she started acting really nice and sweet, and pulling the super mom routine. Not sure what's going on, trouble in paradise maybe? Anyway I wasn't at church this sunday but I found out that she brought the kids and attended. I'm completely caught off guard by this.
> 
> I can't really fathom a motive here, short of wanting to stir sh*t up. What would you do?
> 
> I should also note that she moved about 40 minutes away so this is not convenient for her at all, and she was attending another church much closer to her house with her friend.


* (A.) There has got to be a local church of your particular denomination situated near her new home point that is located 40 miles removed ~ unless of course, your church has one of those renowned mega-pastors that is on TV all of the time. (B.) You attend that church and always have done so! (C.) She wants something out of you and is willing to drive the distance to your church to get it, in all probability, from you!

Moral of this story! If it looks like crap, smells like crap, and tastes like crap ~ 99.9% of the time, it's crap! Tread lightly!

Continue your church allegiance as you always have, and if you perchance see them there, lovingly greet and talk with the kids, but totally ignore the hell out of her!*


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## GusPolinski

COguy said:


> This one is confusing for me. Even when married my ex never came to our church that often. Maybe a dozen times. I've been going there and actively involved for 3 and a half years. Since the split almost 3 years ago, she has not been to our church one time.
> 
> A few weeks ago she started acting really nice and sweet, and pulling the super mom routine. Not sure what's going on, trouble in paradise maybe? Anyway I wasn't at church this sunday but I found out that she brought the kids and attended. I'm completely caught off guard by this.
> 
> I can't really fathom a motive here, short of wanting to stir sh*t up. What would you do?
> 
> I should also note that she moved about 40 minutes away so this is not convenient for her at all, and she was attending another church much closer to her house with her friend.


Do you normally take the kids w/ you to church? If so, they may have asked her to bring them there instead of whichever church she normally attends.


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## Openminded

She regrets the divorce and you are Plan B?


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## ConanHub

Can't check. Did she cheat? If so, is she still with OM?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski

ConanHub said:


> Can't check. Did she cheat?


Yep.



ConanHub said:


> If so, is she still with OM?


LOL... which one?


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## ConanHub

GusPolinski said:


> Yep.
> 
> 
> 
> LOL... which one?


Ouch! So being a good church going woman, I am assuming she has confessed, repented and is in good standing with the church under church authority and accountability?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan

My ex-husband was what I often describe as an evangelical atheist - the type who feels an irrepressible need to preach to others about the abject stupidity of not just religion, but faith as a whole. 

A couple months after our divorce, he began showing up for services at my family's church - small, out of the way, and inconvenient to his home. He had never attended before and had refused to even go to family events, like my nephew's baby dedication or my father's induction as a deacon, during our marriage. Suddenly, he was sitting in my family pew with our son, between my father and grandmother. If I attended, he would sit with me, as if we were still a family. It was just odd, and awkward. It was also a huge topic of conversation amongst the small membership, who widely assumed that he was attempting to impress my father as a means to patch things up with me. 

In reality, he'd begun dating a very religious woman and needed the show of a "family church" to say he attended, even if it wasn't his family's. They've been together for a while now, and he's stopped attending church. As with many things in his life, his newfound faith was just a bit of extra polish on the thin veneer of "really great guy" that he maintains.

So, it's possible that your children asked her to bring them to "their" church, or that she feels some need right now to polish her façade by appearing to be the churchgoing type who attends with her children.


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## COguy

arbitrator said:


> (A.) There has got to be a local church of your particular denomination situated near her new home point that is located 40 miles removed ~ unless of course, your church has one of those renowned mega-pastors that is on TV all of the time.


We're in the bible belt, there's a church every 10 feet. And my church is the farthest thing from mega church with a famous pastor that you can get.



> Do you normally take the kids w/ you to church? If so, they may have asked her to bring them there instead of whichever church she normally attends.


 No way. I have to drag them to church every week. My daughter volunteered that her mom really likes going to our church.



> Ouch! So being a good church going woman, I am assuming she has confessed, repented and is in good standing with the church under church authority and accountability?


 Yeah I think she tried that one while she was still f*cking around too. She could probably pull it off though, she's hot enough to garner pity when she cries.


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## COguy

Rowan said:


> My ex-husband was what I often describe as an evangelical atheist - the type who feels an irrepressible need to preach to others about the abject stupidity of not just religion, but faith as a whole.
> 
> A couple months after our divorce, he began showing up for services at my family's church - small, out of the way, and inconvenient to his home. He had never attended before and had refused to even go to family events, like my nephew's baby dedication or my father's induction as a deacon, during our marriage. Suddenly, he was sitting in my family pew with our son, between my father and grandmother. If I attended, he would sit with me, as if we were still a family. It was just odd, and awkward. It was also a huge topic of conversation amongst the small membership, who widely assumed that he was attempting to impress my father as a means to patch things up with me.
> 
> In reality, he'd begun dating a very religious woman and needed the show of a "family church" to say he attended, even if it wasn't his family's. They've been together for a while now, and he's stopped attending church. As with many things in his life, his newfound faith was just a bit of extra polish on the thin veneer of "really great guy" that he maintains.
> 
> So, it's possible that your children asked her to bring them to "their" church, or that she feels some need right now to polish her façade by appearing to be the churchgoing type who attends with her children.


With the recent super mom routine, this could be hitting close to home. She's gotta work on the new place to live so she's gotta polish off the old Super Mom, Christian Edition mask. She did some bad things, she really regrets them, but look at how much she's changed! She even goes to church again!


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## LBHmidwest

I'm with you.

My ex is now having a church leader to her house for supper and spend time with my kids. Apparently she didn't like we'd spending time together, just weird how exes can think.

One thing I know - they think about THEMSELVES


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## arbitrator

*My rich, skanky XW has embraced revival as a Christian, by leaving her lifelong faith as a Lutheran, and has now joined my lifelong faith, the United Methodist Church, all at the behest of her brand new fiance'.

Thank God, that they go to another congregation in another county! *


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## Wolf1974

ConanHub said:


> Ouch! So being a good church going woman, I am assuming she has confessed, repented and is in good standing with the church under church authority and accountability?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do they ever do that! My x used the church as the get out of jail free card.


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## ConanHub

Wolf1974 said:


> Do they ever do that! My x used the church as the get out of jail free card.


Those churches are doomed IMHO. I will have nothing to do with b1tches parading as pastors.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pooh Bear

GusPolinski said:


> Do you normally take the kids w/ you to church? If so, they may have asked her to bring them there instead of whichever church she normally attends.


That's what I was thinking.


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## Pooh Bear

ConanHub said:


> Those churches are doomed IMHO. I will have nothing to do with b1tches parading as pastors.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What are you talking about?


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## ConanHub

Pooh Bear said:


> What are you talking about?


Churches and pastors that give cheaters"get out of jail free cards".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pooh Bear

ConanHub said:


> Churches and pastors that give cheaters"get out of jail free cards".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok.


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## bandit.45

Don't waste your energy trying to suss her crazy agenda. Her head is a balloon full of fireflies. 

Ignore her and stop wondering.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HobbesTheTiger

Agree, ignore her as much as possible. If she approaches you in church, firmly and politely rebuff any advances and reinforce no/minimal contact. Be careful.

Best wishes


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## ConanHub

Does your church do exorcisms?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman

Hm. I know when custody was a factor he started taking our daughter to church where she was baptized. It was in his mother's town an hour away. We never attended except the big holidays to appease the family so his 'finding God' (while reeking of pot when he arrived to pick her up) was obviously a ruse to look like #1 Dad. It could have also been to look good for some woman.

Just stay alert.


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