# Too much bad luck



## asullivan (Mar 17, 2011)

I don't know where to start, or even how. So I guess the beginning is better than no where. I had come from a previously abusive relationship and was out of it for six months before I met my husband.

During the time when we first me he was a wonderful man (my husband that is), we talked on the phone for hours and hours. When we went out he was a true gentleman. He even dared to clean my messy desk one day while I was at work.

As time went on we decided to move in together, he moved into my apartment with me and my room mate and that is where the issue started.

I lived in a different town, so my husband had to find a new job. He got one but soon after he decided to stop going to it for no real reason. During this time I convinced him to look for a new one but he never did unless I was standing over his shoulder looking for one.

Eventually due to that we lost our house. We moved into a small travel trailer. My husband who had quit smoking previously became more and more angry as time went on and eventually I told him to smoke before I killed him.

Things started to go better as we both worked hard. I held down one job and he another. I managed to land a better job, quit my previous one and picked up a different one.

My husband recklessly spent money all the time. Bills and rent couldn't be paid, I watched as food no longer came thorough the door. But because of my nature I didn't say anything. It wasn't my 'place' if you will.

We lost our second home and moved back into the damned trailer.

This time he got a job again, and I watched as he went off to work, it was a good paying job. We managed to catch up and find a third place, and lo and behold he LOST that job well he got laid off.

Annoyed as we had our third place ripped from under us we've been fighting since.

I hold resentment. I work hard, I don't bring home enough to support us. Recently one of our dogs had passed away due to medical conditions and another ran away. I cried over both and blame myself for both.

I blame myself for all the money issues, I blame myself for the fact that I don't feel pretty. I have self esteem issues and have tried to kill myself more than once.

Lately our fighting is over his nature. He is a cold hearted person, he doesn't show emotion well and doesn't deal with it well. I'm an emotional person. Whenever I have an emotional outburst I hear "I can't deal with it right now." I feel opressed emotionally.

Our sex is horrible, he's a terribly ungiving lover, emotionally I have to shut down. He never finished highschool and can be..well idiotic really. He doesn't know anything about computers, and it bothers me because I constantly have to help him find jobs and such. If I don't he won't and we're screwed.

He's lazy won't do chores, constantly *****es about people (then *****es about how they ***** about him and judge). He doesn't harm me physically and confesses greatly he loves me dearly. 

I'm mixed, we almost broke up because of this issue.I don't want to divorce him, but I can't expect him to change. 

Thank you for listening.


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## airplane (Mar 15, 2011)

pack your bags and get going, if he follows you get a restraining order against him.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Sounds like you would be better off without this guy. He's a leech without much to offer you.


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## asullivan (Mar 17, 2011)

I guess you could be right, thank you all.


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## Portia (Mar 20, 2011)

I will not ask you to leave him as I am pretty sure you can't ...which is obvious..if you could you would have left him long ago!! You are running low on self esteem. Suggest you continue with him but disconnect from him emotionally...


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