# House arrangements, breakup, soft heart



## [email protected] (Dec 19, 2012)

Hello All,

First off I am totally new to this forum. It is my first forum of that type that I've been reading. So please spear me from stuff I missed. The reason why I signed up is that after reading few threads I noticed people here actually care. Here is my issue that I've been struggling with. Any advice please let me know, no matter how insignificant it might be.

I've been leaving with my girlfriend for exactly 10 years. We are still renting a house (more on that). In the last few years our relationship got 'old marriage' type. That is I feel that she is my housemate not a partner. We argue quite often over small and big stuff. We have no kids. Our sex life... hummm is it normal to have sex once a month, twice on better months? Don't think so, specially our age, me being 35, she is 32. It used to bother me more in the past. Now I don't care as much. I am at the point where I want to call off. She wants to buy a house with me and work on stuff. I kept delaying the house purchase with her because I felt that our relationship is getting colder and colder. The huge issue that I see here is that she thinks she can repair our problems. I on the other hand feel we are so foregone that there is no point to do so. 

To complicated matter the matter, our rented house belongs to my own parents..... This creates even more awkwardness in splitting / moving out. To add to this, I recently found a girl which I've been seeing for few months now. I try to reason with my gf to breakup because our relationship is not going anywhere and that we are just getting on our nerves. All I get in return is her getting pissed off, than upset and later wants to work on things. Unfortunately I have a soft heart and it kills me seeing her all upset. I try to keep a distance and not to send mixed messages, but sometimes its impossible to do so. I am her first real partner too. This likely does not help the matter. Also, knowing that I am a definite bread winner in the household makes me very unhappy that I am the one who is pushing for the breakup. I also do realize that my hesitation / sending mixed messages likely causes more issues on the long run and hurts both of us. Can any one shed some light on this please? anything? 

I informed her that I do not hate her per say, and I want to stay in contact, from time to time as friends, but she tells me she does not want to be my friend. I guess I can understand this. -what I am trying to say is that this is not 'I hate you' breakup, just getting cold. In the past we tried to spice things up, but no go. Worked for a little bit and back to cold relationship. I went as far as suggesting I can help her with her dating profile... (crazy, eh?).... no go.

Any ideas, comments or anything please let me know.

P.S. I have not yet disclosed that I met someone... that alone makes me feel uneasy too.

P.S.2. often times I simply go to my workshop and stay there for hours working on various projects just to get away from her.

help!


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