# settlement conference yesterday



## minnesota59 (Apr 3, 2015)

Yesterday we had a settlement conference, which started out amicably...for about 10 minutes. When his atty asked about the living arrangements(he's been sleeping in his workshop), I said I didn't want him on the property as the tension and sick feelings were overwhelming. He said he's paid all the bills(save one), for the last 3 1/2 months while living with the ow, and all I did was buy gas and a little bit of food. He is under the impression that I was amassing huge amounts of money, while he was paying for everything. First of all, my 21 year old daughter is with me, and apparently he is unaware of my helping her financially. I make 1/4 of his wage..so there isn't a whole lot to begin with. 
The decision was made that he be allowed to stay in the workshop, have access to the house ONLY while I am at my part time job, and I would pay 3 utility bills, and the license tabs for the car. All this because my paycheck of $500/2weeks won't cover the $1300.00 + of monthly bills.
So all is settled with housing arrangements, or so I thought. I didn't return to the house for quite awhile after the meeting. My daughter texted me to stay away, he was very drunk and would probably get nasty with me. She said he had every light in the house on, all electrical appliances too. She asked him why he wanted her to turn on her light and she asked,"she's going to pay the bill, so you're going to run it up?" He said yes..
He came in and out of the house several times during the late night/early morning..even after agreeing to abide by what the meeting put in place..I was told I could call law enforcement if he did,and I did actually place a call...he goaded me saying he would watch me make the call.I hung up before it connected, but they called me back. I played the message so he could hear it...he left shortly after saying all the nasty things about how I get half of his retirement even tho I never worked for it.(he plans on retiring next May)
Whew. Long winded, sorry. My atty is out of the office until Monday. It's only Thursday and he's already been drinking, passed out, and is drinking again..it's only 2pm...I work in a couple of hours, cannot wait to see what I come back to..
Is the agreement that was made yesterday at all binding?, or is it just a plan until things are finalized? I can't take much more of this, my health is truly suffering...


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

All I can offer is if you feel threatened please call the police again.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Keep a journal of everytime he comes by, or drunk calls, or harasses you. Right it down right after it happens. Records made contemporaneously might help when you ask for a modification. I understand he's upset, but he's already violating the order. You want to give him a pass now, that's up to you, but if it happens again I hope you will call the police. No one should have to live like that.


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

*Whew. Long winded, sorry. My atty is out of the office until Monday. It's only Thursday and he's already been drinking, passed out, and is drinking again..it's only 2pm...I work in a couple of hours, cannot wait to see what I come back to..
Is the agreement that was made yesterday at all binding?, or is it just a plan until things are finalized? I can't take much more of this, my health is truly suffering...[/QUOTE]
*

Not enforceable in Court until it is put in writing and signed by the judicial officer. In the meantime you did just receive excellent advice from the poster above about journaling everything down. Just do it as it happens and don't try to rely on your memory. Also if you need to bring your lawyer up to speed use email and not the phone. Quicker, cheaper and you have a record of what you said.


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## Shasta (Jun 12, 2015)

If he's over the house and gets abusive, call the cops and have him removed.

Then you get a restraining order to keep him away from the house, and your immediate problems will be solved.

I've seen women get restraining orders based on a whole lot less than you've got.


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