# Hurting so much.



## skinnymini (Jan 27, 2011)

My Husband has now packed his bags and left (see marriage problems after 28 years). The pain and hurt I am feeling at this time I cannot comprehend, I have cried for hours today. Nothing I said to my husband before he left would have changed his mind. I did offer to go to counselling but this was dissmised. He just said he cannot go back to how things were and he has got so much living to do and its time to move on. He said it dosn't matter what he does I will never trust him. I said I wanted the chance to prove myself to him but he said if I couldn't trust him now after 28 years of marriage then I never will.
Please help me over come this sense of guilt and frustration. Does the pain ever end or do we just learn to live with it. 
I would do anything to have my husband here to hold my hand and say that we can work it out. But that is never going to happen now. I have lost my best friend, my husband, my lover all because of my insecurities. I know that these insecurities were made worse due to the depression.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

skinnymini said:


> I would do anything to have my husband here to hold my hand and say that we can work it out. But that is never going to happen now. I have lost my best friend, my husband, my lover all because of my insecurities. I know that these insecurities were made worse due to the depression.


change husband to wife and I am the same


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## bingofuel (Jan 27, 2011)

I'm so sorry, Skinny. Nothing anyone can say will help ease the pain- but you need to stop blaming yourself. Any problems in a relationship are due to failings on BOTH sides! The picture you have painted describes a very insecure MAN. Please remember this. The pain will eventually subside, believe me. Right now it is very important to embrace the support of those that love you and try hard to keep yourself busy even though you just want to shut yourself in and shut down. Don't stay at home by yourself! It is the WORST thing to do! It's never too late to found new friendships and possibly revitalize old ones- (Try some facebook)!  
Put yourself at the top of your list. What haven't you done in a long time that you miss? What have you always wanted to do and never had the time? Now is when you should be doing them. You have a brand new canvas on which to paint- start working on your masterpiece!

Hang in there!- things will get better.


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