# Opinions on my situation trying to divorce



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Summary:

Filed for divorce in February 2013. Stbx and her lawyer being VERY slow to respond to things. After one offer from them and a counter offer from us, my lawyer dropped dead unexpectedly. This was after 10 months. He left nothing for his clients and I had paid him $2500. All gone. Figured I'd try and negotiate without a lawyer. It's a pretty simple divorce. We exchange offers over the next few months then her attorney said she wasn't doing any more on it until my wife paid some of her bill. Several months later she did and things resumed. That was before last Thanksgiving. I gave her my final offer 2 months ago and told her if they didn't agree to that I was fine with letting it go in front of a judge because honestly I thought he might give me a better deal. She said they were going to make some changes and submit it to me.

Yesterday she hits me with her lawyer wants her full bill paid now or she's going to drop my wife as a client. My wife won't get a job so she can't pay it. I paid her original retainer and she got money from her parents. She can't get more money.

So I don't know where to go from here. I could hire a lawyer but really can't afford to. I thought about just moving out and being separated for however long it takes to get it done, which could be years. But I don't know if that would look bad to a judge if I just moved out and gave her 50% of my income each month. I told her recently that I "might" consider withdrawing the divorce and staying IF she would get a job and some other things. We have no relationship and haven't for years. The only time we speak is if it's about the kids.

Like someone said to me on here before..if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Over 2 years already to get divorced? It sounds like you are ambivalent and she is milking that for all she can. 

In many places an uncontested divorce can be done with no lawyers. They are not a requirement. If an agreement cannot be reached, with or without lawyers, taking it before a judge is likely your best option. 

...If you are truly done with the M. Are you?


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Why does she need to get a job, can't you support your family on your income? Being a SAHM is a full time job. Instead of giving the lawyers all of your money spend it on counseling and keep your family together.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

BeachGuy said:


> Summary:
> 
> Filed for divorce in February 2013. Stbx and her lawyer being VERY slow to respond to things. After one offer from them and a counter offer from us, my lawyer dropped dead unexpectedly. This was after 10 months. He left nothing for his clients and I had paid him $2500. All gone. Figured I'd try and negotiate without a lawyer. It's a pretty simple divorce. We exchange offers over the next few months then her attorney said she wasn't doing any more on it until my wife paid some of her bill. Several months later she did and things resumed. That was before last Thanksgiving. I gave her my final offer 2 months ago and told her if they didn't agree to that I was fine with letting it go in front of a judge because honestly I thought he might give me a better deal. She said they were going to make some changes and submit it to me.
> 
> ...


Agree to pay for legal fees for an uncontested divorce if they have such a thing in your state. In my state, the lawyer can be represent the couple if their is no contest. Keep your own lawyer for advice. That will push things in the direction of an agreement versus an expensive fight.


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