# He does not have fun with me...



## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

Whenever he has a party to go at, he doesn't invite me or wants to take me with him because he says he wants to have fun and he won't have it if I go with him... If I tell him I would like to go all I got for answer is NO NO NO... and NO. Then he gets mad and tells me nothing it's going to make him stay home or take me with him... 
This makes me feel really sad. He goes out like once a month, (I always stay home) but lately he is almost starting to go out like once every week or every other week.

Maybe I am doing something wrong?
How much space should I give him?

He seems very selfish to me... and It breaks my heart hearing from him he cannot have fun with me...

He's 28, me 27.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Perhaps you should try being a little more fun.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

*No perhaps you should get you some friends to hang out with too. He might just be hanging out with the boys. If you go the guys will laugh at him for having you come. Unless he starts hanging out all night I would not worry. The more you get upset about it the more he will go. Plus you need to have time apart (just a little).*


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

What do you do or how do you act when you are there. There was a time when I was embarrased when my wife was around my friends. She was (and still is a little) about trying the one-up everyone and dominating conversations.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I've hung out with the guys a fair bit over the last 41 years. Sometimes there are girlfriends / wives around and sometimes not. Some of the wives are cool to hang out with, and some are not. Usually you can spot the cool ones on Sunday....they're the ones wearing an NFL jersey. They're outgoing, and seem to love fetching beers. They can keep up with the guys and dish out the insults as much as any man. Then there are the other wives. The ones who sit silently in the corner. The ones who roll their eyes or get offended. The b!tchy ones. Those ones are probably just fine to have at home, but their just not that much fun....and they don't seem to like you friends anyway.

So I'll ask again. Are you any fun? Are you outgoing? Do you flirt with your man when he's in a group of guys? Do you sing his praises or allude to how good he is (wink wink)?


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

I hope it's not late to change this in my marriage... but:

_Then there are the other wives. The ones who sit silently in the corner. The ones who roll their eyes or get offended. The b!tchy ones. Those ones are probably just fine to have at home, but their just not that much fun....and they don't seem to like you friends anyway._

I AM that kind of wife... (I just realized that last weekend) I do not like his friends/girlfriends and he says if we go out then I will want him to be sitting in the corner with me... Which it's true:scratchhead:


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

You can't change him, so what can you do to change yourself?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Venusina said:


> I hope it's not late to change this in my marriage... but:
> 
> _Then there are the other wives. The ones who sit silently in the corner. The ones who roll their eyes or get offended. The b!tchy ones. Those ones are probably just fine to have at home, but their just not that much fun....and they don't seem to like you friends anyway._
> 
> I AM that kind of wife... (I just realized that last weekend) I do not like his friends/girlfriends and he says if we go out then I will want him to be sitting in the corner with me... Which it's true:scratchhead:


Well, my wife is the same. Unless it's with HER friends. But you're already one step ahead of her, because you have already realized it. It's never too late to be a cool wife. IMHO.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

He says I will only be happy if he stays every single day at home... Which is true also, but I know it's not right. 
He is all the opposite as I am. 
and I want to be fun but I just don't know how to. 
I know I am the one who has to change...
I enjoy doing stuff with him, even watching sports, or horror movies, things he like to do *at home*...

On going out... any ideas?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Venusina said:


> On going out... any ideas?


You need a wing man....er....wing girl. Someone fun. One of the other wives. A co-hort.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You need a wing man....er....wing girl. Someone fun. One of the other wives. A co-hort.


:iagree:
*
Do you enjoy sports because that helps you a great deal? You should relax a little . You got to prove you can hang with the big boys. See I enjoy sports and having fun. Yea the getting beer thing is very important too. You got to smile and enjoy the group. You can't come across as fake and up tight. You need to let your H have a little fun. 

It is simple join the group ,relax and always smile ( a laugh or two helps ). Who knows you just might enjoy it* :smthumbup:


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Do you have your own friends, do you go out with them?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's rude of him to say he won't take you. Find out exactly why. Do you nag him about the drinking? Smoking? Whatever?

or is there a woman he likes to flirt with?

Sorry, that's where my head goes. If my husband ever told me I couldn't go with him because then he couldn't have fun,then I'd wonder WHO he wants to have fun with.


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

that_girl said:


> It's rude of him to say he won't take you. Find out exactly why. Do you nag him about the drinking? Smoking? Whatever?
> 
> or is there a woman he likes to flirt with?
> 
> Sorry, that's where my head goes. If my husband ever told me I couldn't go with him because then he couldn't have fun,then I'd wonder WHO he wants to have fun with.


That's what I always think about, it drives me crazy, but then... If I confront him about it... questions become HUGE problem... sometimes he even gets agressive... and I've learned what I can do best it's just to shut up and leave him alone...


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## Venusina (May 13, 2012)

By the way, I just sent him a text asking if I was boring... Which of course he did not reply and then an hour later I texted him again "Today it's 1 year and 7 months we are married, I love you" And what I get back it's "Stop it (My name), not even working can you be in peace?"

Gosh... breaks my heart but maybe it's all my fault for being such a bother?


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

He is being totally rude. As much as you would hate to, it might be time to think about ending it.


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