# Help me teach a BW how to find out the truth



## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

So, hello community. I've known about this forum for years and I used to peruse it frequently, and I remember a sticky post teaching suspicious spouses how to catch a wayward's affair : how and what to install on the phone, how to put mics in the car, stuff like that. There was a poster who gave detailed descriptions of those.

I need that now. I am witnessing an affair under my very nose and I want to send a letter to the betrayed wife. Besides telling her all I see, I want her to do her own digging and see with her own eyes their texts and hear with her own years their conversations. I can't keep silent anymore. So I am asking for help from you guys, to guide me to such instructions threads, or if someone can please post again tips on how to catch a cheater without him suspecting a thing. 
Thank you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think you're talking about this thread: Standard Evidence Post | Talk About Marriage 

The thread is from 2014 to early 2019. So keep in mind that some of the technology has probably changed.


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## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

Yes I think that's what I was looking for! Thank you. I need to copy these instructions and send them to the BW together with the "happy" news....I want her to win, either in stopping this affair, or in taking him to the cleaners.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Gianna36 said:


> Yes I think that's what I was looking for! Thank you. I need to copy these instructions and send them to the BW together with the "happy" news....I want her to win, either in stopping this affair, or in taking him to the cleaners.


Keep in mind that some of the things talked about in that thread could be illegal in some states. So be sure to check the laws for recording people without their consent.


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## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

At least, she would find out! She needs to know, and the staff is afraid of saying something. They do it in a private office and everybody knows but no proof. I have to do the right thing


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is the affair partner married?


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## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

No the affair partner has a bf but doesn't look too serious. The man has been married for 25 years and has 3 kids. It is nauseating


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Gianna36 said:


> At least, she would find out! She needs to know, and the staff is afraid of saying something. They do it in a private office and everybody knows but no proof. I have to do the right thing


A workplace affair is the hardest nut to crack. Especially is they are carrying it out there.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Does the wife suspect? Is there a big age difference?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Big company? Small?


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## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

100 employees. the wife works in a different field and is clueless. OW is 20 years younger. And a beech.


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## Gianna36 (6 mo ago)

Marc878 said:


> A workplace affair is the hardest nut to crack. Especially is they are carrying it out there.


they talk a lot on the phone so I will teach the BW about VARS to hide in his car...I tell her not to confront right away to try get proof...but I want to tell her what is going on


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Being vague what kind of work? Office and staff sound like a school. Do you know the wife?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Gianna36 said:


> they talk a lot on the phone so I will teach the BW about VARS to hide in his car...I tell her not to confront right away to try get proof...but I want to tell her what is going on


If they are meeting up outside of work a GPS tracker would be of value.
Either way she needs to carefully read the instructions. You may need to switch off any alerts, etc.


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

@Gianna36

You are doing the right thing. Highly appreciated.

People like you are "rare."

Try your best to help that poor wife but cover your own tracks in the process as well. 

Godspeed.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Gianna36 Is his industry covered by ethical codes? 

Will the betrayed spouse welcome this news? Sometimes people are aware their spouse is cheating and either choose to ignore it are are in an open relationship of some kind.

BS needs to get herself checked out for STDs, of course.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I would tell her but I wouldn’t offer anything further unless requested.
This is some bad stuff to get mixed up in.


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> @Gianna36 Is his industry covered by ethical codes?
> 
> Will the betrayed spouse welcome this news? Sometimes people are aware their spouse is cheating and either choose to ignore it are are in an open relationship of some kind.


No way to know that... until one tells the BS.

You are correct in that the BS might not welcome the news... but she might welcome it too.

One would have to ask/let the BS know to find that info out.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Do you know the wife?


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## HarryBosch (6 mo ago)

I agree with Evinrude... getting involved puts you in the middle of someone elses ****, and when you're in the middle it is very difficult to not get any on you.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Gianna36 said:


> So, hello community. I've known about this forum for years and I used to peruse it frequently, and I remember a sticky post teaching suspicious spouses how to catch a wayward's affair : how and what to install on the phone, how to put mics in the car, stuff like that. There was a poster who gave detailed descriptions of those.
> 
> I need that now. I am witnessing an affair under my very nose and I want to send a letter to the betrayed wife. Besides telling her all I see, I want her to do her own digging and see with her own eyes their texts and hear with her own years their conversations. I can't keep silent anymore. So I am asking for help from you guys, to guide me to such instructions threads, or if someone can please post again tips on how to catch a cheater without him suspecting a thing.
> Thank you.


i like your determination, by all means help this BW, you are doing a good deed. Just be careful to remain anonymous.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If you work there, maybe drop an anonymous call into HR. No one should have to work “around” two people having sex in a private office. Everyone knows and it’s unacceptable in the workplace.

Be careful in contacting his wife. Sometimes good intentions backfire.


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