# Is my STBX electronically spying on me? How can I find the signs?



## Keep Talking DB (Jul 18, 2015)

I had written up a pretty good basis for my feeling this way, then I lost the whole darned txt I had written with the stroke of one key...ug.

In short;

2 yrs ago X (STBX in short), had an emotional affair that he admitted to, even in our whopping 2 sessions of counseling). I knew something was up because he took his phone with him always, was rude 2 me, distant, and alway on that phone, and threatened divorce constantly.

Now he is leaving his phone at home while gone...ALL of the time...always in places it never used to be.

He's purchased electronics and not left receipts out (I do the books, high $ purchase receipt is MIA). I still do the books even though divorce is imminent, because I know he knows I'm not high maintenance and I've NEVER screwed him over!

We have an agreement on how we will divorce and any time I mention wanting to talk to a lawyer (to CMA), he gets verbally angry and says things like...you just want to take me for as much as you can get! All I want is to be sure what I sign is what I should sign...didn't take marriage lightly and I'm sure not going to during divorce. My first, his 4th:O

He has done suttle things that make me wonder if I can even use the bathroom in privacy! He has always been the "tech", person in our house. Though I'm not totally neive about technology, he is above me in the aspect by far.

My cell has been acting strange from time to time, and his demeanor has also been questionable.

.....

Wish I could've not lost what was previously written so this didn't sound like I'm a paranoid freak, but I don't have the time to rewrite it. 

HOW can I tell if I'm being video'd in the house, or if my cell is also tapped. I have nothing to hide for crying out loud, but the pressure of having to live in the same house is just plain killing me, and filing now will also cause me severe financial hardship. BETTER YET, is it legal to do so in a shared house? We are in separate rooms, shared space. This man that was my best friend, my rock...is now the one I fear the most!?!?!

Apologies my question was not laid out as best as it could've been you all could reply better. I'll answer any questions put forth as soon as I can. Chores ya know...can't be on the cell all day


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

It sounds like he may have a voice activated recorder on his phone, at a minimum. But, I'm no expert on such things. He also could have one in your car, and a tracking app installed on your phone. 

There are a lot of techies here like @GusPolinski that could help you out.


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## Keep Talking DB (Jul 18, 2015)

Thx Second Time R....is there a link to the info you gave me? Or do I just search it? Thx again


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Keep Talking DB said:


> Thx Second Time R....is there a link to the info you gave me? Or do I just search it? Thx again


No, I tagged him in this so when he signs on next and sees it, he'll probably read the thread .


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Get a new cell phone for yourself, preferably on a plan separate from your STBX.

Don't discuss the divorce -- w/ ANYONE -- either in the house or in your car.

The next time he leaves his cell phone laying around, power it down and set it near the front door.

Get a VAR and use it whenever speaking w/ him. Whenever he starts to talk, take it out of your pocket, start recording, and let him know that a) you'll be recording the conversation and b) his continued participation in any discussion w/ you will be taken as his consent to being recorded.

If he explicitly refuses to give consent, tell him that any discussion will therefore need to occur via email or using your respective lawyers as intermediaries... but don't stop recording until he disengages.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Like Gus advised, quit using your current cell phone and get a new one in your name only!

And if you own a laptop, double passcode it!

And if you haven't yet filed for D, then what's taking you so long?*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

ZTE brand cell phones are damn near unjailbreakable. You can't access the root menu for more than 1 session, the moment you cycle power on the phone you will lose all root privileges and must start over.

Get a ZTE, Unico, ZMAX, or Lever (what I have) go with a pay as you go service like TMobile, StraightTalk (what I have), or TracPhone.

My phone cost me $199 at Walmart, service is $48/mo. Nobody can hack my phone.
I have my old Unico, and its my personal Ginny pig for XDAforum the cell phone crack network. Its 3 years old, still no way to crack it.

I couldn't even get wondershare to descrub my phone.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *Like Gus advised, quit using your current cell phone and get a new one in your name only!
> 
> And if you own a laptop, double passcode it!
> 
> And if you haven't yet filed for D, then what's taking you so long?*



Nope. Re-install the OS from scratch, but not before flashing the BIOS AND buying a new SSD or HDD to house the OS.

Then lock down both the BIOS and the OS w/ a secure password.

Once OS installation has been completed, disable booting from any media OTHER THAN the new OS disk.

Oh, and if you're using Windows 7 or newer, enable BitLocker as well.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Check inside the case for a keylogger dongle that might be attached to a USB interface.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Nope. Re-install the OS from scratch, but not before flashing the BIOS AND buying a new SSD or HDD to house the OS.
> 
> Then lock down both the BIOS and the OS w/ a secure password.
> 
> ...


*Gus is a hell of a lot more computer savvy than I've ever dreamed of being! Follow his advice to the letter!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Who knows, Dx4, he might be spying on 3 ex wives. Maybe this is a hobby for him.

Hey if you find a Sony voice recorder under your car seat, we can find somebody that needs one.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Get a new cell phone for yourself, preferably on a plan separate from your STBX.
> 
> Don't discuss the divorce -- w/ ANYONE -- either in the house or in your car.
> 
> ...


And with any computer do a CLEAN install meaning don't go from w 8.1 to 10 leaving all the sh!t behind.
It's a pain but it will be worth it.


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## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

I have received notification that someone tried to access my IRA three times since I filed...hmmm, wonder who. And then he left my juicer on the patio of my apartment the other, after nine months of separation...wondered if it was bugged, lol. 

Anyway, you never know. Best to follow above advice. And if my ex is bugging me, he will be as bored as he ever was 
Thiugh probably angry, as he might hear how much happier I am now.


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## Keep Talking DB (Jul 18, 2015)

Wow, that was a lot to take in. I'll need time to look all of that up. I can't get rid of my cell, it's on a 2 yrs plan and costly, my name only..same # for 20+yrs! X talked me into this big expensive phone. If he is spying online (like he has time to spy on the other 3...not sure if that was a joke?), yeah, he'll get bored fast. I am not hiding anything, but he is leaving me without means when he asked me not to work for almost 5 yrs. Took care of his kids, him, and house.. just this last year I've worked my @@s off with a new career.


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## Keep Talking DB (Jul 18, 2015)

I do have a Sony voice recorder in my garage from my deceased father. Lemme know if you want it. Sheesh.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Keep Talking DB said:


> Wow, that was a lot to take in. I'll need time to look all of that up. I can't get rid of my cell, it's on a 2 yrs plan and costly, my name only..same # for 20+yrs! X talked me into this big expensive phone. If he is spying online (like he has time to spy on the other 3...not sure if that was a joke?), yeah, he'll get bored fast. I am not hiding anything, but he is leaving me without means when he asked me not to work for almost 5 yrs. Took care of his kids, him, and house.. just this last year I've worked my @@s off with a new career.



Back up all the data from your phone and perform a hard reset. Once the reset is complete, do NOT restore from backup.

What type of phone do you use?

Also, who is your carrier and how much longer do you have left on your contract?


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Keep Talking DB said:


> Wow, that was a lot to take in. I'll need time to look all of that up. I can't get rid of my cell, it's on a 2 yrs plan and costly, my name only..same # for 20+yrs! X talked me into this big expensive phone. If he is spying online (like he has time to spy on the other 3...not sure if that was a joke?), yeah, he'll get bored fast. I am not hiding anything, but he is leaving me without means when he asked me not to work for almost 5 yrs. Took care of his kids, him, and house.. just this last year I've worked my @@s off with a new career.


Honestly I think you will be fine if you reset your phone and do a fresh installation. Especially if it is an iPhone. 

This is suppose to work for finding hidden cameras.

How to locate pinhole cameras

Probably the best advice is to confine any meaningful communication with your lawyer to face to face.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

ScrambledEggs said:


> This is suppose to work for finding hidden cameras.
> 
> How to locate pinhole cameras


Wow, I found 3 hidden cameras, I can't wait to see how many are upstairs.


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