# Advice needed - gf and naked pictures??



## chiksam (May 4, 2012)

Hi all,

I could really use some advice, some opinions, some support maybe. I'm writing this in a confused, angry, distressed state - and I know I need someone, somewhere to be my sounding board about this. Here's the brief issue:

-My girlfriend of seven years told me the other day, in passing, that 'I'd better get used to naked pictures of her being exhibited' as she's about to do a naked photoshoot with a male photographer she apparently knows on a Facebook group. She knows we have pretty different views on this sort of issue. I very much feel that our naked bodies are a sort of exclusive privilege we grant each other - and I really struggle with the idea of her body being 'viewed' or 'consumed' by others. She has always been more 'I don't care who sees me naked - I love nudity.'

-But we very much have a monogamous relationship, we are both quite insecure from traumatic pasts [I've had two long term partners cheat on me and trust isn't easy for me, for example] - and in seven years she's never taken nude pictures of herself outside of what we have done privately and what's been between us.

-So, when I heard about this I was initially pretty distressed and uncomfortable. She adopted an 'I've arranged it, it's happening, you have until it's happening to become OK with it - and if you're not, tough' kind of attitude about it. I felt really threatened by that and I was upset that [a] she didn't give us the chance to talk this through, express our feelings, and sketch out the parameters about it BEFORE she booked it in, * that it was a male photographer [I really feel uncomfortable with that], [c] would this be a regular thing? what would it lead to? was I OK with that?, [d] is it safe?, and [e] what kind of pictures are they and who is gonna see them? I really would have valued the chance to have that discussion BEFORE she went ahead and booked it in - and I felt disrespected that she didn't do that.

-Ultimately, we fought about it. She strongly wants to do it. She assures me it's for an artistic calendar and she'll have glitter on her naked body. The photographer is safe, she's checked it out. But she's doing it, she needs to do it for her own sense of body positivity - and no matter what I say or feel, it's happening. She also seems to feel like my objections are evidence that I feel I 'own' her body - and she'll do what she likes with her body.

-I tried to talk about how I feel differently. I guess, for me, I really felt like our naked bodies are a beautiful privilege we gift to each other - and the idea that she's OK with another man [albeit through a lens] intimately gazing at her body feels like a sort of mini-infidelity to me. I hate it. It really invades something I thought was sacred - and I guess exclusive to me.

-But anyway, after much fighting, discussing, fighting, discussing, I guess I wrestled with my demons and decided that, OK, if this means that much to her I'm gonna have to suck it up and try my best to be cool with something I'm really not cool with - for her, because I love her and don't want to stand in her way.

-So I came home last night, having wrestled that demon. 

-This morning, however, another bigger demon emerged. I asked that we discuss how these naked pictures are going to be shared. And I expressed a strong desire for her not to share them with her Facebook friends, that consist of ex boyfriends, guys who've hit on her in the past and who we've had really contentious issues with in the past, and guys that currently 'like' her. I asked her to please reassure me that she won't be sharing these pictures with them too...

-...and she wouldn't?

-...she said it's her body, her pictures, and she might do that, if she chooses, she'll do what she wants.

-Well, that dragged me way beyond a boundary I am comfortable with. The pictures were hard for me to stomach. But - my partner telling me she can't promise me that she won't share them with a list of men she knows would make me extremely distressed and uncomfortable was too much for me. I lost my ****. I told her I can't deal with that. I told her it'd be a step too far for me - and that to feel safe in this I really need her to reassure me that won't happen. I also didn't understand why there would be a NEED to share them with such people? WTF would she need to that? And WTF would she place sharing nude pictures of herself with guys she knows I'd be threatened by above my feelings?

-I genuinely felt traumatised by this. I felt like I'd tried to give a lot on this issue already - but that she was just asking me to give way more than I'm comfortable giving on this particular bit.

-So we fought again. She said I'm being a controlling asshole and I said she's being a completely insensitive cow. But, I really feel like my partner sharing naked pictures of herself with her exes, with guys, present and past, who have/had the hots for her, is a step too far. I don't feel I can trust her enough to get close to her until I feel safe with that issue. So I asked for reassurance. She won't give it and she accuses me of being unloving and unsupportive if I don't just resume 'business as normal' in our relationship. But I can't - I genuinely feel terrified and traumatised at being dragged into deeply uncomfortable realms in this way - and I don't know what I'm supposed to do to stop it.

-I guess I kind of feel that enough is enough. I can't be dragged so far out of my comfort zone that it feels she's doing something cruel [and sharing pics with guys I'm deeply threatened by feels like it would be cruel] to me. 

We aren't speaking over this after a pretty big fight. I guess I'd value the opinions, advice, and what others would do in my shoes - because I'm feeling confused. It feels like it's 'wrong' to me - but she's telling me I'm being an asshole, that I'm crazy, and that I need help because I shouldn't be so bothered by this...

...help...*


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Bear in mind you're gf/bf at this stage. She can do pretty much what she wants.

Observe her actions, conduct yourself also as you want.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

IMO, it's her choice. If you strongly disagree with her choices, then all you can really do is break up with her. It's fine to feel the way you do, but not fine to expect her to conform to your wishes. And she should not expect you to change your opinion on this either, so she may decide to break up with you if you don't do so first. It does not seem like there is a compromise that will satisfy you both.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Just dump her and move on.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Unless this is totally outside what her personality would suggest is reasonable, from the seven years you’ve been with her, I think it’s time to move on. You’ve never had the boundary discussion and thank goodness this is happening now. She may learn from this; she may later discover that she screwed up a good thing. Or she may be as relieved as you should be, discovering an unexpected line in the sand that’s a deal breaker and thank goodness there aren’t any kids etc binding you together.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Well she is right her body and she can do what she wants, you are neither married to her nor engaged. But that also means you are not married to her nor engaged so you can also leave and have nothing to do with her...this is where you get to decide who has dominates in this relationship, in other words who is more invested in the relationship....right now she is telling you want she is doing and you can either accept it and she now controls the relationship or tell her that is unacceptable for you and tell her you are done. there is no middle ground here


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The shame of this is that this type of behavior on her part didn't come earlier in the relationship.
Look, you have a hard boundary for what she is doing. SHE WILL NOT recognize that and is calling you controlling.
Yes, she has the right to do what she wants, but with those rights comes responsibility. Her belittling you, NOT listening to your issues, is her NOT taking responsibility of her actions.
YOU on the other hand can impose your OWN actions for YOU.

I agree with you about this in general -- I certainly WOULD NOT want my gf/wife having someone else take nude pictures of her, and I ABSOLUTELY agree that she shouldn't be sharing these with everyone, including old bf's. WHY exactly does she STILL have THEM on her page?

Honestly, I know you love her, but this will cause NO END of grief to you if you just bow down to her on this.
You can't stop her, but you CAN end the relationship to free her to do what SHE wants and for YOU to not get your boundaries violated.

Her looking for this type of male validation for her body -- huge red flag.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Another thought -- this may in fact being a way for HER to try to end the relationship. Just having YOU do it so that she can blame you.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

chiksam said:


> She assures me it's for an *artistic calendar*


Ha-ha. Fella, you have way more to worry about than just her exes. You have no idea who will be viewing that 'artistic calendar'. And, possibly, neither does she. Wonder what props she'll be posing with.

Hey, she wants to immortalize her glittery flesh for the great unwashed masses. Who are you to stand in her way? Her name is Venus, after-all.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She is the one being selfish and her total disrespect for you is clear. Is this the woman you want to be the mother of your children? For me and for many others this rudeness and selfishness would be totaly unnacceptable. As well as the desire she has to share pictures of her naked body with all and sundry. 
After 7 years you would think she would love you, but clearly her desire to act this way is more important to her. 
I would have no hesitation to end this relationship now.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

What she’s actually doing is telling you to go **** yourself. She wants to show her tits and ass to the world and she’s going to do it. Has she mentioned what or more importantly who gave her the idea?
In your shoes I would ask her how she feels about her future children being able to see mom in all her glory. But make it very clear that they will be HER children, you won’t be hanging around after this.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Your gf likes a lot of attention and has poor boundaries. But it is her choice.

Your choice is whether you want such a gf. The poor boundaries and attention seeking will likely manifest in other ways as well.

I like being naked too and my body is pretty good but I have no desire to spread naked pictures around. People who require that level of attention don't make very good partners.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It couldn’t be more clear that she couldn’t care less what you think. If you stay with her this trend will only continue and you’ll be her little whipped dog the rest of your life. No woman is going to respect a man that puts up with this.

Being with a woman who requires that level of outside male attention should be such a huge red flag that you shouldn’t need this forum to tell you what to do. At this point you should already be gone.

Every time she has said the word controlling you should insert the word noncompatible. The two of you are not meant to be together.

It’s her body and she can do as she wants ... and also have the responsibility of that choice

As @Andy1001 said ... she is telling you to go **** yourself. You at least have to give her credit for being honest about it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She has rights, man, and those are forcing you to make a flight plan.

It's not the _clear as a bell _pictures that is the issue, it is her hard line in the sand and all those fuzzy outlines of her mind showing.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

I agree with others that since you are not married, she has the right to do as she pleases. However, I believe that in doing so, she is showing that she has no respect for you or your point of view. For me, the lack of respect would be a deal breaker. I would move on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She is clearly being groomed and influenced by someone.
I see it as more of this rampant porn inspired behavior.

Others are doing it, why can't I?
She can, she will, she shall.

And, she will pay a price, not the other way around.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You are a chump only if you allow it. Dump her now or suffer later.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

She can do what she wants, but so can you. She has crossed your "values" and "respect" boundaries, so time to fire her ass out the door.

Unlike others, I could see that there has been previous issues with this relationship...you mentioned fights over ex's?? Yep, time to go.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Marc878 said:


> You are a chump only if you allow it. Dump her now or suffer later.


Too late...a dumpee can do no dumping, this.....after the fact.
After all the flak, he has suffered.

Chumps are a dime-a-dozen, having little to show off, other than their wood-and-nickle lumps.

He needs to climb out of the trash dumpster and free himself from her disdain.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

So, OP -

Have you asked her why she is taking such a hard-nosed position on this?

People don't usually dig in their heels this hard on something unless they have very deep reasons. Has she shared hers? Telling you to "just get right with it regardless" is about as strong a statement as someone can make to a loved one. I suspect it comes from something very, very dear to her. Do you know what this is? Would it matter to you?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

OP's GF will soon look good for an eternity.

Her pixelated body will always look good, suffering no sag lines, with her keeping that pert bodily expression.

This will not be the case for her reality, her continuously aging body.

Her reputation will also age prematurely, she will now find it harder to find a stable, stable-mate.

Attaining physical glory before riches, never pans out.

The pictures will make her no single man's lady.
She will be in every man's view.

A man seeking exclusivity will be never be happy with her.
She will be had by so many eyes, no 'I' can properly claim her.

In reality, many men will hot choose her, but will she choose their sot lot?


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

I do not think your concerns are unreasonable. I think if you cave, ie just move forward with her, there will be more serious issues in the future. I think she has the right to do what she wants but you do not have to be ok with it. I would not be under these circumstances. 

Just curious, do you live together (and not talking in the same space)?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

A beautiful woman that needs that much attention and that trashy......and telling you to go f yourself, as said.......... 

No way to keep a relationship like this. You found her.... you can find another one. She thinks she’s special and that you can’t do better and therefore are forced to accept whatever she chooses, and honestly her attitude shows she doesn’t care if you dump her.

So DUMP her.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

Did this person cheat on you (OP) like 6 months into your relationship?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

The fact she's let you have naked photos of her is hunky dory with you, so you already knew that about her. If she'll share with you (or anyone else she's dating), if she doesn't know by now that they'll eventually end up all over the internet, then she doesn't have the part of the brain that lets you predict consequences of your actions. 

You either like a woman who thinks it's fine to take naked photos of herself and let men see them or you don't.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Listen OP she is her own person with her own standards. Plenty of women pose naked. You don't like it.

This isn't really a matter of right or wrong it is a matter of boundaries.

She doesn't like that you are trying to control how she expresses herself.
You don't like that she wants to freely share images of her naked body that you think should only be between you and her.

I think you've know for a while that you two don't have the same opinion on this it has just now come to a head.

I think that you both should move on. If after 7 years you two don't know enough about each other to be committed and in alignment on your thoughts then you never will be and you shouldn't continue wasting each others time. And god forbid don't add children in the mix.

You aren't compatible. You may wish you were but you aren't.

My own 2 cents. I love my partner enough in general I wouldn't do something he oppose so strongly and he wouldn't ask me not to do something I felt strongly about.

Also frankly if you are 'OK' with her being in a nudey calendar then you shouldn't mind if she posts it on Facebook. The fact you don't want it on Facebook means you aren't ok. You are just hoping no one you know buys the calendar. Very short sighted.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There are so many nude photos of so many people available online, that a few more hardly seems to matter. So what if some people she knows sees them - they'll be bored very quickly since they can get far more exciting fare including video and even interactive porn, or even get naked with their current gf. That said, if it crosses your boundaries you have no good choice except breaking up.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

For pure objective opinion you can send me the photos when she is done and I’ll tell you if she was worth it or not 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## chiksam (May 4, 2012)

Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.

Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.

I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

So, you know what you need to do. Go about separating yourself from her....


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

chiksam said:


> Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.
> 
> Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.
> 
> I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


And I think you sound perfectly reasonable. So it's hard to let go after time. But really you have like 60 years in front of you. It this someone with the same boundaries and values?

How do you want to deal with this?


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

It makes sense that you feel like this is a double standard.

Based on your most recent post, this is what I suggest you do. Go online and find a number of posses of naked women that you like. Then bring those pictures to your girlfriend and tell her that you would like to see her in those posses. If she does not like those posses, tell her to get over it and do them anyways because you want to see them.😈


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

leftfield said:


> It makes sense that you feel like this is a double standard.
> 
> Based on your most recent post, this is what I suggest you do. Go online and find a number of posses of naked women that you like. Then bring those pictures to your girlfreind and tell her that you would like to see her in those posses. If she does not like those posses, she should just get over it and do them anyways because you want to see them.😈


Best answer yet. Might be improved by telling her you also want to take pics of her in your favorite poses and help her set up her only fans website. Insist you want to take a lot of different naked pics of her, that's a condition of her allowing others to take pics. 

Make sure you get her to sign non private pics ok authorization for your future need.

Be looking for another gf the whole time because if she bites, there's your sign.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

OP, you could be taking naked pics tonight. But OP you'll have to plan a future without her because if you're stressing so much with her as a gf you life would be horrible if you married her.


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## JoeLDN (Sep 5, 2021)

Maybe she's testing you? 7 years and no ring on her finger? I don't know how old you guys are, but the idea of never having done something like this and out of the blue "I wanna do a nude photoshoot" for "artistic reasons" ?? (I think its irrelevant that the photographer is male, as he is the least of your worries). If she is serious, that is alarm bells to me, but there could be a deeper insecurity in the relationship and this is her way of saying "my guy isn't serious, come and get me".


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## EdDean (Sep 12, 2021)

It is a course her body to do with as she wants. But I don’t think you’re being unreasonable being uncomfortable with all of this.

Plus she’s happy to insist on boundaries with your behavior for the sake of the relationship but not accept any on her self? Not good.

It really doesn’t matter what she’s doing; if she’s doing something that is making you feel really uncomfortable within the relationship and won’t stop or even consider your feelings then you need to move on.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

chiksam said:


> Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.
> 
> Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.
> 
> I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


Wow, so she is raging hypocrite.


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## EdDean (Sep 12, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Wow, so she is raging hypocrite.


Yeah. Makes me think she left the relationship a long time ago and is more than happy to use this thing she wants to do as an excuse for the breakup.


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

I am curious, I have to ask; is her naked body so gloriously perfect that she would have a fan club of her glittery self?


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

chiksam said:


> Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.
> 
> Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.
> 
> I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


If she really is saying all that, yet saying you better get on board with another person taking naked pics of her you better run, because she just ain't right.

Does the term bat **** crazy mean anything to you?


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

chiksam said:


> Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.
> 
> Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.
> 
> I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


Oh brother.. wait a bit and you will see how this will progress (that is, if you are stupid enough to stick around)... Soon you will see lots of FB messages from Exs and male friends plus strangers telling her how beautiful her body is and how they would love to squeeze those boobs and ass!
And soon she will come to you and tells you she will start her OnlyFans account!
Don't bend backwords and allow this disrespect!
Preserve you dignity and your self respect, don't turn yourself into a cuckold, break up with her now and move on with your life, she will soon realise how she wasted a good man for some cheep validation!


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

leftfield said:


> It makes sense that you feel like this is a double standard.
> 
> Based on your most recent post, this is what I suggest you do. Go online and find a number of posses of naked women that you like. Then bring those pictures to your girlfriend and tell her that you would like to see her in those posses. If she does not like those posses, tell her to get over it and do them anyways because you want to see them.😈


Here's a slight modification to this suggestion. Gather all the nudes that you have of your exs and then ask her to take pictures in some of those poses.

@chiksam , Levity aside, here's a suggestion I have for you. She is entitled to do what she wants to do with her body. You guys are not in a committed relationship and that's a benefit for you. if you start asking her what she should or should not do, then she'll view that as controlling. HOWEVER, you can always control your actions. So, should she chose to continue with her plan to do professional nudes, then you can institute and implement a plan of separating yourself from her and divesting anything that you both have purchased together. Then you are free to find someone who has similar values as you.

I think this is the prudent course of action. Reading the subtext, I think she may want to get out of this relationship but does not want to be the bad guy to be the one to break it up. So, she possibly wants you to take the initiative.


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## EdDean (Sep 12, 2021)

Here’s another way to look at it. Her body belongs to her. But the relationship belongs to both of them. If distributing naked pictures of her body is too much for the relationship; she has to either accept that boundary or leave the relationship. People in LTRs ask their partners to limit their autonomy all the time. If you respect each other you listen to what the other person has to say and you make it work.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Chiksam,

I suspect the "photographer" is actually a serial cheating OM who has created a scheme where he casually mentions that he is an artistic photographer who does this for the betterment of humanity or some such nonsense. Then over time and many conversations your GF came to view him as an inspiration in her life or felt discovered or liberated by him.

Ask her how much she is getting paid for this gig, I would guess he told her she will get her money when the "calendars sell" or some other crap conmen tell.

If it's legit she should have no objection to you being there.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

If you do not set your boundaries with her you are setting yourself for another failed relationship and the pain (that you have already experienced in the past) again! Surely, you can see this. She wants to get naked and jiggy with others, then that's her choice. You can only control what you do and that should be to end this before you get hurt again (and you will get hurt, no doubt there). End this now - why are you staying with her? She doesn't sound like relationship material.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

She's not for you, she's for the streets. Technically, she is right and she can do whatever she wants. You have the same freedom, which I would express by walking away from this dumpster fire of a person you got mixed up with.

I have one last point I want to make and I hope it is one you consider. If you find yourself in arguments with the woman you are with over crap like this, don't bother...just walk. Sure, life happens, and sometimes serious issues will come up which might cause some discord in your relationship. The difference here is, this isn't life happening, this is a ridiculous and completely avoidable problem that your GF is bringing into your lives. A woman in a relationship should already know not to take a bunch of naked pics to spread online. It's an issue that should never come up so there should never even be any arguing over it. Your GF is creating this problem on her own and then shaming you into letting her act any way she wants. So, when you find yourself in a spot like this with a woman, any woman...leave. Let her go do what she wants to do and you find yourself a decent woman that doesn't act like this.


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## kgcolonel (Jun 28, 2018)

Quick question for you....If you chose to back off this mandate (no pun intended) and when it no longer give her the jollies that she said it gave her, what will it take for you to determine that as much as you enjoy being with her, for you to say, "this is not the woman who share the values I want as the mother of my children". 

This will escalate and move to something even more intolerable than stills...ie. videos, other people in the set etc...

I know 8 years is a long time but it is better than 8 years and 1 week. Better to call it on your timeline than to suffer with this and then have it fall apart later.

You and your GF are not on the same frequency when it comes to this topic. Even if she's level headed and rational about nudity, you have differing values which she is not listening or caring about anything but her own.

Some people are perfectly okay with nudity, some are not....


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Are you going to keep moving your boundaries? Because I don’t think she’s done. Far from it.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

This almost sounds like a strange attempt at a relationship exit. Do something that she knows will cause you to dump her while simultaneously broadcasting her naked body to many interested men.... She's undoubtedly going to attract a lot of attention with this, and not the kind you would want a spouse attracting.

Rightly so or not, many men view women who expose themselves in this way as easy or looking for something.... they'll all be knocking on her door whether you are involved or not.

Time to stand up for yourself. Would you marry someone that does this kind of stuff, no... so why continue this?

Also, from a professional standpoint, a future spouse having this kind of stuff out there could be damaging to one's future job prospects.

Maybe if you are on her ex-bf list, you'll get to see all the photos...


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

chiksam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I could really use some advice, some opinions, some support maybe. I'm writing this in a confused, angry, distressed state - and I know I need someone, somewhere to be my sounding board about this. Here's the brief issue:
> 
> ...


Next.

you have every right to have a problem with this. Don’t be pathetic and weak and accept this if you’re not OK with it. Most men would probably have an issue with it, and it goes way beyond just the pictures.

Dude she just told you very clearly that:
1. she’s going to do whatever she wants sexually (naked photos being publicly put around is sexual and selling her sexuality)
2. She doesn’t care what you think, or what your opinions values or boundaries are
3. She does not respect you as a partner or as a man.

This is done, dump her before she dumps you, because she will.
She has complete disregard for you and does not respect you - which means she absolutely will cheat on you, dump you when convenient or both. A woman cannot be attracted to a man she doesn’t respect and she will almost always treat him badly.

I think your best course of action is to just move on here.
However, if you’re really intent on trying to save this relationship, there’s only one way that (maybe) happens. And that is to stand up and respect your own boundaries and pursue your own best interest. Is to be a man that she respects, and that only happens if you lead the relationship with strength and confidence.

And that means you tell her no, I’m not comfortable with the situation and I’m not going to be in a committed relationship with a girlfriend who distributes naked pictures and doesn’t care about my feelings on the matter. 
She has every right to do whatever she wants, but if she chooses this path it won’t be as your girlfriend. 
If she values you and the relationship more than selling her sexuality, she’ll cancel the photoshoot. If not, you know where you stand and what you need to do.

At this point, she’ll probably just tell you to pound sand - but you never know. 
It’s still better for you to take action and extract yourself from an imbalanced relationship with a girl who doesn’t respect you or your boundaries.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

DudeInProgress said:


> Next.
> 
> you have every right to have a problem with this. Don’t be pathetic and weak and accept this if you’re not OK with it. Most men would probably have an issue with it, and it goes way beyond just the pictures.
> 
> ...


He's not really in a committed relationship is he? They have been 'dating' for 7 years.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> He's not really in a committed relationship is he? They have been 'dating' for 7 years.


Not really interested in a semantic argument, they’re either committed or they’re not. 
He said girlfriend, which implies they are exclusive and committed. 
If they are not committed, then he should just keep dating her and having fun while looking for other women who better fit his long-term preferences. 
If they are exclusive, everything I said applies.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I hope by page 3 here that she's an ex-girlfriend.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> You aren't compatible. You may wish you were but you aren't.


THIS, by all means THIS


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

chiksam said:


> I guess I'd value the opinions,


We need to know whose house?
Because your obvious choice is to move out or move her out.
If it's rented in her name, just leave when she isn't looking, no need for a note of fight.
If it's rented in your name, just pack her stuff in bin bags and leave them outside.

Bf/gf have no obligations towards each other, when you're fed up you leave.
I don't even argue over such stuff any more, a woman does something I don't like and I'm gone.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

You can’t stop her or even tell her not to do the photo shoot. You don’t own her and you’re not her dad.

The only thing you can do is tell her to have fun and then breakup. She made her choice and you are not one to sit by with her double standards about porn, naked pictures and exs. That she is saying she will do exactly what she said she would break up with you if you did them.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

This is not salvageable. This is the beginning of the end. She wants to out herself out there. Do you own a property together, or are you just renting? Also, please tell us you don’t have any kids together. 

100% you should leave her. Even if she backs down, which I doubt she will. Don’t bother going down the demoralizing rabbit hole of wanting to know who or why she’s doing this. If you just dump her quickly without looking back, you will recover much quicker and feel way better about yourself. If you swallow the sh!t sandwich she’s forcing on you, the relationship will end in less than a year anyway. A woman that does what she’s doing is done with the relationship. For your own sanity, dump her post haste.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

Reading your initial post made me think of the last lyric from Springsteen's song "Brilliant disguise".

"God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of".

That's all I have to say about your situation.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Your girlfriend sucks. Get a new one who gives a damn about your feelings. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

So for the first 7 years of your relationship she was fine not doing naked photo shoots.. But now all of a sudden she just has to for her self confidence. And it must be with a particular male photographer she knows. Complete nonsense.

In the first year or two I was dating my wife some wealthy guy offered to let her name her salary to be his "personal assistant". I don't think she was interested but I told her she could if she wanted. But we wouldn't be dating anymore. She never took the job.

If your woman wants to play games with another man then let her. Without you. Don't let her push you around on that.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

3Xnocharm said:


> _Your girlfriend sucks._ Get a new one who gives a damn about your feelings.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Wait, did I miss something?

What photo shoot was she promising this?

.....................................................

Humor aside, that is where this crappy behavior of hers is going.


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## Mashxterra (Sep 21, 2021)

Did she recently catch you watching porn? It’s just that this....

“ I guess, for me, I really felt like our naked bodies are a beautiful privilege we gift to each other - and the idea that she's OK with another man [albeit through a lens] intimately gazing at her body feels like a sort of mini-infidelity to me. I hate it. It really invades something I thought was sacred - and I guess exclusive to me.”

......contradicts you looking at other women naked.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

chiksam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I could really use some advice, some opinions, some support maybe. I'm writing this in a confused, angry, distressed state - and I know I need someone, somewhere to be my sounding board about this. Here's the brief issue:
> 
> ...


My take is your GF likes the attention. This will not serve you well in the future. IMO, she has failed in the girlfriend game. She is not marriage material. Her ideals do not match yours by an stretch. This could possibly turn into softcore porn. The thoughts of woman and nudity...who the hell knows what the future holds. Why bother keeping this relationship going?


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

chiksam said:


> Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to get other perspectives and I appreciate you all taking the time to reply. The advice and opinions are really helpful.
> 
> Someone asked if my gf has ever cheated? Well, 6 months in she kissed someone else. I was deeply hurt by that. She hasn't cheated since.
> 
> I guess another issue is what I feel is a flagrant double standard. There is NO WAY ON EARTH she would ever be cool with me viewing any kind of naked shot of an ex. She is deeply rejecting of porn and in the early stages of our relationship me watching or viewing anything remotely pornographic caused her huge distress. This is now her immovable boundary - she'd leave the relationship if I were to say watching porn or viewing naked women was important to me. In that sense, I find myself deeply frustrated by what feels like a double standard to me. I couldn't view a naked ex or a naked woman on the internet - but she can be OK with a whole host of guys viewing her? I can't be cool with that...


Your GF is a hypocrite. You can't look at porn but she is great with showing her goods to anyone who is willing to take a look.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Nailhead said:


> Your GF is a hypocrite. You can't look at porn but she is great with showing her goods to anyone who is willing to take a look.


Nuff said.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Nailhead said:


> Your GF is a hypocrite. You can't look at porn but she is great with showing her goods to anyone who is willing to take a look.


Yes, but that’s really not the point. 
She could decide she has no problem with him looking at all the porn he wants - still doesn’t change the fact that he’s not OK with her putting her naked pictures out to the world. 

The immediate issue is not about hypocrisy, it’s about what he will and will not tolerate in a committed relationship. And what he’s going to DO about it.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Your response should be simple.

"I understand, and I hope it works out as you had hoped."

Then focus on moving out, with a firm 180.

Oh, and OP? You've been cheated on twice, and you selected this winner?

Your picker is broken. Fix it. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Mashxterra said:


> Did she recently catch you watching porn? It’s just that this....
> 
> “ I guess, for me, I really felt like our naked bodies are a beautiful privilege we gift to each other - and the idea that she's OK with another man [albeit through a lens] intimately gazing at her body feels like a sort of mini-infidelity to me. I hate it. It really invades something I thought was sacred - and I guess exclusive to me.”
> 
> ......contradicts you looking at other women naked.


What are you talking about?

If you read the thread he says that at the start of the relationship she told him no porn and no naked pics of ex girlfriends. She said she would leave him if she caught him looking at them.

This is exactly what she is wanting to do now.


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> Your response should be simple.
> 
> "I understand, and I hope it works out as you had hoped."
> 
> ...


I think, this is the crux of the problem. There could be many reasons for this. Either you may not be firm on your boundaries or you are changing who you are to accommodate this person. So, you need to evaluate your picker and don't let your picker get influenced too much by your pecker.

I'd suggest that once you have moved out, please start doing some deep introspection. See what makes you choose what you choose. Not just when you are choosing partners, but your friends as well. I'd even suggest that you do some individual therapy to get to know yourself better. I know we all say that I know myself the best and that is completely true. What I'm saying is that you can (we all can) always strive to know ourselves better. "Know thyself" is a lifelong journey.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

While I agree with the others who say she clearly doesn't respect you, your relationship or your feelings on this, the fact is you are only a boyfriend, not a husband. You don't get the same rights and privileges that a husband does. After 7 years, why is that?

All you can do is either accept it, or find another gf who's values align more with yours.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Your gf likes a lot of attention and has poor boundaries. But it is her choice.


not sure it is the same thing, but many people are exhibitionists. exposing nude photos for all to see is a tame version of that! Check out all the women on Onlyfans!

there also are nudists, who truly do not see any shame at all in exposing the nude body, and do not understand your prudishness.

she most likely knew you would object, and decided to do it anyway. maybe she is trying to jolt you into a new reality? 

i guess if you want the relationship to flourish, you have to figure out why she did it, and why she chose such a confrontational way to expose you to her exhibitionist side. 

You may not be able to change to live like that. or you might grow to like it. who knows.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

The two of you don’t align. Find someone who does.


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## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

Mashxterra said:


> Did she recently catch you watching porn? It’s just that this....
> 
> “ I guess, for me, I really felt like our naked bodies are a beautiful privilege we gift to each other - and the idea that she's OK with another man [albeit through a lens] intimately gazing at her body feels like a sort of mini-infidelity to me. I hate it. It really invades something I thought was sacred - and I guess exclusive to me.”
> 
> ......contradicts you looking at other women naked.


Watching a movie in the privacy of your own home is totally different than getting naked for a strange man and broadcasting it to the world. Not even close to the same thing.


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## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

frusdil said:


> While I agree with the others who say she clearly doesn't respect you, your relationship or your feelings on this, the fact is you are only a boyfriend, not a husband. You don't get the same rights and privileges that a husband does. After 7 years, why is that?
> 
> All you can do is either accept it, or find another gf who's values align more with yours.


Not a husband yet, has to put up with crappy behaviour? No, this is not how you get a husband.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

frusdil said:


> While I agree with the others who say she clearly doesn't respect you, your relationship or your feelings on this, the fact is you are only a boyfriend, not a husband. You don't get the same rights and privileges that a husband does. After 7 years, why is that?
> 
> All you can do is either accept it, or find another gf who's values align more with yours.



In today’s world we’re fewer and fewer couples get married, it is kind of a mute point.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

damo7 said:


> Not a husband yet, has to put up with crappy behaviour? No, this is not how you get a husband.


Of course he doesn't, he has every right to end the relationship.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

ABHale said:


> What are you talking about?
> 
> If you read the thread he says that at the start of the relationship she told him no porn and no naked pics of ex girlfriends. She said she would leave him if she caught him looking at them.
> 
> *This is exactly what she is wanting to do now.*


Not quite. She wants to show off _her_ body - not look at other bodies. She wants to be worshiped far and wide.


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Not quite. She wants to show off _her_ body - not look at other bodies. She wants to be worshiped far and wide.


If I understand it correctly, @chiksam 's gf is holding him to a different standard. There are double standards at play here. She's not okay with him doing something what she's interested in doing very much.

What you and @ABHale talked here does not need to be mutually exclusive. She is forbidding his porn usage and having nudes of his friends while trying to be on a nude calendar distributed far and wide. So, by that standards, she should be okay with his ex-gf to have their nudes taken and for @chiksam to be in possession of them along with nudes/sex tapes from professionally produced erotica. She may be perfectly fine with @chiksam doing a wide distribution of his d1ckp1cs. 

@ABHale , please correct me if I'm wrong. I may be completely off the mark here.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Asterix said:


> If I understand it correctly, @chiksam 's gf is holding him to a different standard. There are double standards at play here. She's not okay with him doing something what she's interested in doing very much.
> 
> What you and @ABHale talked here does not need to be mutually exclusive. She is forbidding his porn usage and having nudes of his friends while trying to be on a nude calendar distributed far and wide. So, by that standards, she should be okay with his ex-gf to have their nudes taken and for @chiksam to be in possession of them along with nudes/sex tapes from professionally produced erotica. She may be perfectly fine with @chiksam doing a wide distribution of his d1ckp1cs.
> 
> @ABHale , please correct me if I'm wrong. I may be completely off the mark here.


I should have worded my post better. She would not tell OP that she wouldn’t share her naked pics with her ex’s and the other guys that follow her on social media. So she is a hypocrite.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

So she would have no issue with you sending **** pix to other girls and your exes then? According to her standards.


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## JLCP (Aug 18, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Nuff said.




Hi Ragnor
Sorry to intrude on this post. I was trying to find a way to send PM to you and did not see it. I am new to this board and don't know how it works yet. I am desperately in need of some help downloading iphone history. I saw an old post you made and was hoping you could provide some advice? I am not a techie and I need to figure this out quickly because cheating spouse is about to exchange his phone for a new one- so I have limited time. Also, I only have 40 minutes to do it. Do you know of a program that is easy for a non-tech person to use that can get info in short amount of time? Would it be possible to download part of the info at a time if the download takes a lot of time? 
Please forgive me for interrupting your thread. I did not know how to message you. Thanks again for any help.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

JLCP said:


> Hi Ragnor
> Sorry to intrude on this post. I was trying to find a way to send PM to you and did not see it. I am new to this board and don't know how it works yet. I am desperately in need of some help downloading iphone history. I saw an old post you made and was hoping you could provide some advice? I am not a techie and I need to figure this out quickly because cheating spouse is about to exchange his phone for a new one- so I have limited time. Also, I only have 40 minutes to do it. Do you know of a program that is easy for a non-tech person to use that can get info in short amount of time? Would it be possible to download part of the info at a time if the download takes a lot of time?
> Please forgive me for interrupting your thread. I did not know how to message you. Thanks again for any help.


Take the phone and hide it. He can't exchange what he doesn't have. You have no idea where he left it.


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## Music Lover (Feb 9, 2016)

chiksam said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I could really use some advice, some opinions, some support maybe. I'm writing this in a confused, angry, distressed state - and I know I need someone, somewhere to be my sounding board about this. Here's the brief issue:
> 
> ...


Hi Chiksam

For what it's worth, I take a different view from many posters here. I should point out that I am also from the UK where nudity is tolerated more than in the US.

If you and your girlfriend are secure in your relationship, you shoudn't feel threatened by her posing for nude photographs. On the contrary, you should be pleased that she is comfortable in her skin. This is in no way comparable with having an affair. Nudity doesn't necessarily equate to pornography. Taking off her clothes does not make her any less deserving of love and respect. If she's happy about being naked, I really don't see why it should bother you. It's not like she's expecting you to strip off too.

I am slightly concerned that she appears to be saying that she going to do it whether you like it or not. Perhaps, this was in response to intransigence on your part. Either way, it does seem that neither of you are seeing the other's point of view and there is little scope for compromise.

My own wife posed in the nude at the age of 48 after she had treatment for breast cancer. Amongst other things, this was intended to encourage other women suffering from the disease. I can't speak for her, but I think she did for herself too. She said it was cathartic after suffering from breast cancer. I've had my own encounter with cancer recently, so I can relate to that.

Our family, including her parents, and friends were totally behind her. She is a sucessful career woman, a nurse and a mother who is generally conservative by nature. I guess that hundreds, maybe even thousands of people including just about everyone we knew got to see her wearing nothing more than her shoes and some coloured light. The photos were more explicit than the typical charity naked calendar. We were slightly worried how people would take that, but they were all totally cool about it. After all, they didn't have to look if they didn't want to.

I was so proud of her for doing it and being so bold and beautiful. In no way did it adversely affect our marriage. In fact, I'd say it had a positive impact. It was touching to find out how many people loved and admired her. The only thing I felt jealous over was that, being male and older, no one is ever going ask me to pose naked after my cancer. 😄

She says she certainly doesn't regret doing it. When we make new friends, she sometimes surprises them with the disclosure that she has been a nude model in her time.

If you want to know more, please feel free to ask. Good luck.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

What a load of codswallop.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Ah, ok. Moving on.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Oh my.... It appears the testosterone left the room two days ago.😆


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> What a load of codswallop.


I get your drift but I had to look that one up 👍


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> REDACTED


This guy has been on TAM for a long time. I read some of his old discussions. He has a horrendous track record with the women he chooses to get into relationships with. I believe this is real and par for the course with him.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> This guy has been on TAM for a long time. I read some of his old discussions. He has a horrendous track record with the women he chooses to get into relationships with. I believe this is real and par for the course with him.


Tx. Man, I wish him better luck!
OP, hang in there, it gets better.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> I get your drift but I had to look that one up 👍


I’ve been over in Europe for too long lol.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@chiksam "Heck, yeah! *Of course* I'll pose totally naked for a 'photographer' I 'met' online through a Facebook group!" said no professional, sensible nude model ever.

Your girl friend is acting like an idiot.

I happen to know a retired professional glamour photographer. He booked models through reputable agencies only and didn't hang around on Facebook groups trolling for fresh lambs to take to the slaughter.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> I’ve been over in Europe for too long lol.


Well tommyrot and other brilliant slang terms are much appreciated by this citizen of the prodigal of England.😋


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> @chiksam "Heck, yeah! *Of course* I'll pose totally naked for a 'photographer' I 'met' online through a Facebook group!" said no professional, sensible nude model ever.
> 
> Your girl friend is acting like an idiot.


To be fair claiming she is an idiot is a long bow to draw. If someone wants to pose nude, good on them as long as it's adult and consenting.



> I happen to know a retired professional glamour photographer. He booked models through reputable agencies only and didn't hang around on Facebook groups trolling for fresh lambs to take to the slaughter.


I personally know several men and women who are active erotic, fetish, pornographic and or nude art photographers. I also know a lot of female and male nude and erotic models. And I concur that booking nude models through agencies can be a significant and useful source for such models.

That said it isn't the only way and that is even amongst some of the most lauded and successful professional photographers and artists. Of which through the last decade and a bit, the use of social media to find such models (experienced and otherwise) has has seen a significant rise.


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## Music Lover (Feb 9, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> What a load of codswallop.


To misquote another lady who shrugged off misogynist abuse with ease several decades ago, you would say that, wouldn't you.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Music Lover said:


> To misquote another lady who shrugged off misogynist abuse with ease several decades ago, you would say that, wouldn't you.


Wtf are you on?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> Wtf are you on?


He is referring to Mandy Rice-Davies and her famous retort in court. Mandy Rice-Davies

But let's keep on topic, please?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

chiksam said:


> *My girlfriend of seven years told me the other day, in passing, that 'I'd better get used to naked pictures of her being exhibited' as she's about to do a naked photoshoot with a male photographer she apparently knows on a Facebook group. She knows we have pretty different views on this sort of issue. I very much feel that our naked bodies are a sort of exclusive privilege we grant each other* -


To @Music Lover and @Personal: Read @chiksam OP statement. That's all it should matter. He was given an ultimatum without any warnings or discussions beforehand, he's not for it. She can do whatever the hell she wants, but for OP it should be as an EX, period. Up to him if he has the balls to be a man that will stand to his principles. Your crap about what other people consent and do is irrelevant to OP post.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Rob_1 said:


> To @Music Lover and @Personal: Read @chiksam OP statement. That's all it should matter. He was given an ultimatum without any warnings or discussions beforehand, he's not for it. She can do whatever the hell she wants, but for OP it should be as an EX, period. Up to him if he has the balls to be a man that will stand to his principles. Your crap about what other people consent and do is irrelevant to OP post.


Of course she can do whatever the hell she wants, and the same also applies to @chiksam, which is how it ought to be ever after. So if he doesn't like it he can dump her. In the same way if he does things that she doesn't like, she can dump him.

One thing for sure she doesn't need permission, from him to do whatever she likes, since she isn't his property. While he also doesn't need her permission to do what he likes, since he isn't her property.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The good thing this life offers is..... there are many others to choose from.
To comfortably snuggle with, not constantly struggle with.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Those museums are full of those ladies who nakedly posed.
One can suppose that many of their SO's, blatantly opposed.

Judging from the demure smiles on those naked ladies, this was not a painted-on concern.
Keep in mind, most of those poses were modestly made, not so today's, well-opened displays.

The old art work is certainly seen as beauty, the new is purposely made so, *vulgar.
That *viewpoint is mainly from the older. To the younger viewers, all that openness is normal.

Is this progress?
Or is this, remiss, regress?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Personal said:


> Of course she can do whatever the hell she wants, and the same also applies to @chiksam, which is how it ought to be ever after. So if he doesn't like it he can dump her. In the same way if he does things that she doesn't like, she can dump him.
> 
> One thing for sure she doesn't need permission, from him to do whatever she likes, since she isn't his property. While he also doesn't need her permission to do what he likes, since he isn't her property.


isn't what you are saying just what I said ? you're just repeating it in different words. But my point was not about it, but about your divergence on the topic at hand as asked by the OP.


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