# Vocalize your pleasure



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

One thing I noticed about my wife is that if I'm more into it, she's more into it. 

For example, typically I have a difficult time just sitting there while getting a BJ. This time I told my wife that I'm going to take my time to relax and enjoy. I was also very verbal and expressed my pleasure more audibly and louder than usual during the act. This did two things. 

1. It increased my ability to enjoy the BJ and also allowed me to endure the agonizing pleasure to completion without helping her. My hands were off the whole time. (difficult to do)

2. It enabled my wife to also enjoy it and express herself while giving like she has never done before, as if I'm visualizing her creation of a work of art.

Perhaps the lower drive spouse can get more into sex if you overtly show the pleasure that they are giving you? 

Edit: I say "agonizing pleasure" because in a way a great BJ is torture, but of the pleasurable sort :smthumbup:
I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about.


----------



## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Certainly something to try. Some partners may enjoy it, and get turned on. My wife hates it when I talk or make any noise. She wants sex to be silent. Easier for her to dissociate and ignore what is happening when the sound is turned off.

And yes, I know that isn't healthy, which is why I stopped having sex with her.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Vocalization, in its purest form is the total epitome of communication. Loving sex is preeminently the most ardent form of communication known to mankind, more especially between and a woman who have very strong feelings and an emotional attachment to each other. Sexual union was created to further bond that loving relationship between the two of them!

Why on earth would one want to retard that communication by "remaining silent" in such an act?


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> Why on earth would one want to retard that communication by "remaining silent" in such an act?



I don't know, but I used to. I think many people, including myself are sexually repressed. I keep trying to push myself and record data. It seems that my LD wife really appreciates it when I show that I like her work. 
Seems logical but I would bet many men have / had the same difficulty in vocalizing their pleasure.

It's not that I was "silent" just repressed some of it. If I let it all go, LD seems to get a kick out of it. It strongly reinforces her actions as on point.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Well when you think about it, most guys through enduring unrequited years of teenage hormones, master the art of masturbating like a stealthy ninja warrior. After conditioning one's self to achieve orgasm to not get caught in the act, it is likely these traits carry on into marriage. 

For example, look at these photos of men displaying their ninja-like behaviors of stealthiness:

















To the average viewer, it looks like nothing out of the ordinary is going on, but I promise you the men in the photos very well could be having their 12th orgasm of the day. 

I guess once married and in a healthy sexually active relationship, that old habits are hard to break!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

badsanta said:


> Well when you think about it, most guys through enduring unrequited years of teenage hormones, master the art of masturbating like a stealthy ninja warrior. After conditioning one's self to achieve orgasm to not get caught in the act, it is likely these traits carry on into marriage.


That is a VERY good point. I never thought of it that way.
I would like to hear from the women on this subject too.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I wrote a blog post that is about this subject, well part of it anyway. Not just talking during sex, but a man actually giving sexual instructions can be a real turn on. Not all women are going to get into it, but really a lot more would than many men think would.

Sexy+Positive Blog: Sexual Instructions

It is hard to describe why it is a turn on to be given instruction, but it is. And of course, this is not going to work in a relationship that isn't in a good place at all sexually and a man might likely really offend a woman by trying this stuff if they aren't in a good place. 

But if they are in a good place (or pretty good at least), it is definitely something to try!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

My wife doesn't like noise because she's terrified the kids might hear.


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> My wife doesn't like noise because she's terrified the kids might hear.


True, 
That's another reason why I get a hotel room every two months. 
Gotta love hotel rooms :smthumbup:


----------



## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

I enjoy reading Erotica novels where the male hero expresses his lust, wants and desires to the woman while passionately and enthusiastically banging the hell out of her. Sadly, you would think I'm practicing necrophilia the way my H is so quiet especially when I'm pleasuring him. Sometimes it makes me want to bite it to see if he'll react. While me on the other hand, I have always been loud. If something feels good I want him to keep doing it. When the kids arrived, we had to be creative with location so as to not have them fear that daddy's hurting mommy.&#55357;&#56838;. I'm a physical person with HD who married her opposite. Sometimes when he's really into it, he gives me a grunts in my ear after he's done and that makes me feel good that I managed to get a response from him.


----------



## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Our Bloody bed squeaks and its getting worse. God knows what the neighbours are thinking LOL... the whole bloody room shakes hahaa.... My 10 year old has been known to shout out "whats that noise" My hubby tells her its mum doing her exercises... so bloody embarrassing 

Also, I have to agree i am also worried the kids can hear if there is to much noise... It puts me off


----------



## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Fitnessfan said:


> I find it nearly impossible to be quiet during sex. It feels so damn good, how can you be quiet? Poor hubby is always shushing me...quiet..the kids, quiet the kids, quiet...THE KIDS!!! I'm always oh yeah, sorry, LOAD MOAN.. **** sorry again.


Snap hahaa. My husband always tries to shush me, puts his hand over my mouth, but i carry on... Its to dam hard to be quiet:smthumbup:


----------



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

maritalloneliness said:


> I enjoy reading Erotica novels where the male hero expresses his lust, wants and desires to the woman while passionately and enthusiastically banging the hell out of her. Sadly, you would think I'm practicing necrophilia the way my H is so quiet especially when I'm pleasuring him. Sometimes it makes me want to bite it to see if he'll react. While me on the other hand, I have always been loud. If something feels good I want him to keep doing it. When the kids arrived, we had to be creative with location so as to not have them fear that daddy's hurting mommy.&#55357;&#56838;. I'm a physical person with HD who married her opposite. Sometimes when he's really into it, he gives me a grunts in my ear after he's done and that makes me feel good that I managed to get a response from him.


Would it make the act of giving a BJ more enjoyable for you if your husband vocalized more during the process?

If he squirmed all over the place, arched his back, moaned and groaned and finally screamed at the top of his lungs would that enhance YOUR experience in GIVING the BJ?

BTW:
If you ever get a chance to watch German porn, the men most always let out a primal scream during orgasm. Not that I watch porn all the time, in fact I don't, but I did notice the Germans are very LOUD.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

UMP said:


> Fozzy said:
> 
> 
> > My wife doesn't like noise because she's terrified the kids might hear.
> ...


I can see keeping it down in the house or even a hotel room when the kids are with you. That's a given!

But it's totally sad when it's only the two of you, and you get into that comfy hotel room/suite and then your spouse tells you to pipe it down because the next-door tenants might accidentally hear! Hell, truth be told, I really want all of those envious folks seeing me smiling from ear to ear, much like a Cheshire cat, down in the hotel lobby the morning after, obviously aware that I had been the honored recipient of something that they hadn't had in a quite a while!


And if you're out in the wide open elements of nature like a huge ranch or a totally secluded beach and are vociferously boinking away, when they suddenly tell you to pipe it down! Why?

Are they afraid that the ranch cattle or the seagulls are going to be grossly offended?


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

UMP said:


> Would it make the act of giving a BJ more enjoyable for you if your husband vocalized more during the process?
> 
> If he squirmed all over the place, arched his back, moaned and groaned and finally screamed at the top of his lungs would that enhance YOUR experience in GIVING the BJ?
> 
> ...


*"Gott im Himmell! MEINE WURST IST ROH!"*


Edit--don't watch German porn, but I did get a D in high school Deutsche.


----------



## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> *"Gott im Himmell! MEINE WURST IST ROH!"*
> 
> 
> Edit--don't watch German porn, but I did get a D in high school Deutsche.


Yes, yes, Ooh, Fozzy, raw sausage does it for me!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> Vocalization, in its purest form is the total epitome of communication. Loving sex is preeminently the most ardent form of communication known to mankind, more especially between and a woman who have very strong feelings and an emotional attachment to each other. Sexual union was created to further bond that loving relationship between the two of them!


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

Ain't nothing sexier than some talking through it. I love when my lover tells me what to do and how much they like it.


----------



## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

My MILF ex-GF was very vocal, and that was a huge turn-on to me. She would moan loudly and sometimes would yell out "f*** me, f*** me hard". One time when her kids were in bed and we were doing it on the couch, she screamed out "I'm still cumming!!", and I had to put my hand on her mouth, as I was afraid her kids would wake up. 

She was a whack job, but she sure turned me on sexually.


----------



## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> And if you're out in the wide open elements of nature like a huge ranch or a totally secluded beach and are vociferously boinking away, when they suddenly tell you to pipe it down! Why?


Lots of potential reasons. Here are a few:

1. They don't want to admit to themselves they enjoy sex that much. They see themselves as mature sensible adults who have self-control and do not give in to their animal passions.

2. They don't want to admit to you that they are enjoying themselves. You might throw it in their face the next time you ask them to have sex and they turn you down.

3. They don't want to give you any power or control. They do not want to admit that you are capable of giving them such pleasure. They do not want to acknowledge that your withholding that pleasure could be used as leverage against them outside the bedroom.

4. They see sex as bad or wrong or evil or immature. They do not want to admit that they enjoy something that is inherently negative.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ChargingCharlie said:


> She was a whack job, but she sure turned me on sexually.


:rofl:


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Holdingontoit said:


> Lots of potential reasons. Here are a few:
> 
> 1. They don't want to admit to themselves they enjoy sex that much. They see themselves as mature sensible adults who have self-control and do not give in to their animal passions.
> 
> ...


5. The noise makes them lose focus thus making orgasm difficult to reach.

6. They are not naturally vocal during sex and never have been. 

7. They don't want to "put on a show" while they're having sex. They just want to enjoy the sex without concern about their "performance."

8. Their spouse watches too much porn and brings their expectations about fake porn orgasms into their bed, which makes them feel like crap.

9. Making noises makes them feel silly and unsexy.

10. They don't want to fake something they aren't feeling.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> And if you're out in the wide open elements of nature like a huge ranch or a totally secluded beach and are vociferously boinking away, when they suddenly tell you to pipe it down! Why?



*you can also blame hollywood!*

Because in every horror flick, moans of ecstasy out in nature queue this guy to show up:


----------



## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

UMP said:


> Perhaps the lower drive spouse can get more into sex if you overtly show the pleasure that they are giving you?


YES.

My SO apparently got trained to keep quiet by someone in his past. Not sure who, and it doesn't matter, but he doesn't make a lot of noise.

I find it absolutely frustrating. 

I'm not that creative when it comes to sex, so especially if we're trying something different, I NEED him to vocalize to me if he's enjoying it. And if he's not, I need him to communicate that too so I can make adjustments. 

A little vocalization goes a long way with me.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

It really took my second wife to help get me over that "hump" regarding sexual vocalization ~ no pun intended ~ as I had always been pretty well reserved from a participative sexual perspective. Even so, sex was still great being quieter and all, but even for an "old dog," just learning how to vocally express that special pleasure certainly made it all just seem that much better!

The sad fact of the matter was that she undoubtedly spent far too much clandestine time off "vocalizing" with her other "unknown-to-me" BF's!


----------



## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

UMP said:


> ndit: I say "agonizing pleasure" because in a way a great BJ is torture, but of the pleasurable sort :smthumbup:
> I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about.



I sort of have a vague memory of something like this???

:scratchhead:


----------



## Eastcoasting (Apr 21, 2015)

Hey all! This is my first post to TAM.

I read this thread and like UMP suggested, when I am vocal I notice my wife is more into it.

For some reason my wife likes it when I stand while giving me a bj. She notices that I tend to moan more when standing as opposed to lying down. She told me it completely turns her on to hear me moan while giving me a bj.

Also, she finds it a turn on when I announce I am going to cum. I don't do it often and when I do it's usually when I am on top and her legs are wrapped around me.


----------



## brownmale (Apr 20, 2015)

Will oiling the bed work? Wood or metal?


----------



## Eastcoasting (Apr 21, 2015)

Hey everyone...new to TAM! This is my first post so be nice 

So like the original OP, my wife too enjoys when I vocalize my pleasure. So my wife has this thing where she likes to give me a bj while I am standing. She says that I tend to moan more while standing. Truth be told I never really noticed. Point being it turns her on to hear me while she is giving me a slow yet torturous bj. 

I also notice that she likes when I announce my orgasm. She gets very turned on to hear me say it.


----------

