# Brand New and Confused



## Sauvagii (Jan 18, 2010)

My wife and I have been married for 4.5 years, I am 27 and she is 25. She left me for another man 9 days ago. She left me for a guy she phone dated about 8 or 9 years ago and their parents stopped the relationship. He contacted her about four weeks ago and they began rekindling old feelings. After three weeks of talking she told me she the situation and left to be with him. I have taken it very hard as our marriage appeared to be in good health even up to the last days before she told me.

The hard part for me is I do not feel ready to give up on our marriage. She will be coming home in 2 days and I am anxious about seeing her. I am hoping she will be open to a reconciliation but have no real evidence to support that. How long do I wait for my wife to come back before accepting the loss and moving on?


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## Sauvagii (Jan 18, 2010)

I have given her some space this weekend and not talked to her in hopes that she could get some rest and think more about her decision. How do I show her that I am still thinking and feeling as her husband without driving her away?


The past week has been rough and I suffered from some mental health issues because of it. I was in the hospital and now most of our friends and family now she has left. I am afraid she will be afraid that things are too far gone to reconcile even if she wants to. How do I show my wife that even though she hurt me and my family, I am still willing and eager to work through this to save our marriage? How can I be available to her and still be fair to myself? Am I just a sucker who got burned? Please help straighten a confused man out!


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Take a deep breath and try to logically think about what has happened......
Just say what you feel when you speak to her, and remember you can't control what she does only how you conduct yourself.
I know it hurts but she is not thinking about the long terms here, she is in the infatuation stage of her new relationship....
Give her time to see the whole truth and just let her know the door is open when she comes to her senses. 
In the meantime work on being healthy and surround yourself with family and friends for support...
I found out the same thing about 8 weeks ago, and I'm much better now, time really does lessen the pain and loss we feel..
hang in there and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
post here lots of people going through the same thing


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