# Strict rules for lovemaking.



## DepressedJuan (Feb 9, 2014)

I really didn't know how to word the title, without it being a mile long. Anyway my question is: Do any of the guys here SO's have to have certain rules/specifics before lovemaking takes place? To clarify, My wife has to be partially clothed, Lights off, only one position. Granted it hasn't always been this way. Back before we were married and some time after we would just go ape, trying new positions, all nude, lights on, ect. But this is not the case anymore. We are currently in a sexless marriage for almost a year, but that a question for another thread. I just wondered if I'm the only one.:scratchhead:


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

Make sure the kids are asleep and lock the door so they can't barge in?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Does she have self esteem issues? Sounds like you're married to my STBXW... Without the good sex earlier in my marriage... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Yes, there are quite a few of us hanging around the place with partners with limited imaginations.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

DepressedJuan said:


> My wife has to be partially clothed, Lights off, only one position.


I get the partially clothed thing. I think a woman is hotter when she's partially clothed, say a Tshirt and panties during sex, with the lights a bit dimmed to get the mood right. Slide the panties to the side for the act, and then mess them up at the end. Assuming she's not finishing me off in her mouth or it's not one of those times that I just have to explode inside of her. 

Works for me anyway. They're not hard and fast rules but they're guidelines at the very least.


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## johnAdams (May 22, 2013)

About the only rules we have is no pain, either emotional or physical. Also, I guess nothing gross. but I guess gross is an individual call.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

If I was going to make rules

Lights dim and she is partially clothed as previously stated
Sex in as many positions as I felt necessary until I had enough
She blows me until completion
She then turns into a pepperoni pizza.


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## Dannie1348 (Nov 17, 2011)

We don't do pain like to talk naughty but never call her names other in bed having fun


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Enthusiasm. That's not really a rule but we both try to enjoy our intimacy totally.

As far as sex rules, none. As long as it's between me and her.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Those are restrictive rules. As opposed to strict rules that might be exciting.
Actually there are forbidden zones but no not those restrictive rules. I think that if low drive was coupled with low variety I'd give up. The pizza sounds good though even though I've all but given them up. 
FA


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## stublerne (Feb 22, 2014)

Sounds like you're married to my STBXW


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

johnAdams said:


> About the only rules we have is no pain, either emotional or physical. Also, I guess nothing gross. but I guess gross is an individual call.


We have the same rule and it works for us wonderfully!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

OP, no. You are absolutely not the only one.


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## hehasmyheart (Mar 11, 2010)

I'm in a sexless marriage, but the dim lights rule makes sense to me. Dim lights just set a mood, while hiding minor imperfections. In my fantasies, the lights are dim or there are candles lit..lol.


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## hehasmyheart (Mar 11, 2010)

Ask her if you can compromise and have dim lighting instead of no lights.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

Lock the door and keep it down while the 14 year old is in the house.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Wow, A lot of posters to this question really have no experience with this type of partner. 

I do not know how common it is but there are several of us here who have wives with this behavior more or less.

My wife could use the same one position for the rest of our lives as far as I can tell but we have sex at 12:15pm on Sunday so lights out is not an issue. 

Maybe therapy can help her some. Low self esteem, body issues, does not like sex that much, maybe the one position just works for her the best and she sees no reason to do positions that do not give her pleasure. etc..

Does she have orgasms?


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

...."strict" rules? Don't know that they're 'strict' ....but I know that they're not mine ... ie:

• lights out
• I initiate ...always
• NEVER during the day ...(which kills me ...because we both work from home and are under the same roof 90% of the time).
• NEVER on a week night (school night) ...so that leaves Friday or Saturday.
• NEVER any place but the bedroom.
• Her ...in complete silence.

.....I need to rewrite the rule book. Some of said rules are:

• 24 year old daughter needs to get the hell out of the house ...I don't need to have her in the next room ...causing "silent running" sex. 
• Youngest daughter's dog (yeah ..right!) ...needs to not be sleeping in our room. Because if we close the bedroom door ...he scratches at it to get out ...really kills the moment.
• Things like showers together need to happen ( that's occurred ONCE in 33 years together). Hot-Tub sex needed (...only if to justify the extra $50/month electric bill!!)

...maybe I publish the rules as the "Sex Bill of Rights"?


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Wearing socks is strictly prohibited. Lights on (and remember we may start with natural light but finish in the dark, turn them on before starting). I've called it rule before but it's more of very strong preference, not after dinner.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Hubby and I have never talked about rules per se, but we do know each other's boundaries. As long as something doesn't violate those boundaries, anything goes 

I just also have to say, that I'm shocked at the number of sexless marriage threads here...why on earth would people not want to have sex? I'd have to be dead to not want to! I just don't get it :scratchhead:


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ...."strict" rules? Don't know that they're 'strict' ....but I know that they're not mine ... ie:
> 
> • lights out
> • I initiate ...always
> ...


Look, I'm pretty pro-marriage. Definitely pro-reconcilliation in the right circumstances.

But let me get this straight? She cheated on you. Won't show you remorse for that. Probably let you raise the OM's child. And you get thrown scraps for sex?

BS.. Just BS. You can do better. You deserve better. The phrase is bantered about often on this forum, but I can personally attest to the truth: You have to be willing to lose you marriage to save your marriage. You don't want to be married to _this_ woman any longer. Mind you, I'm not saying that you won't be married to your wife. You just deserve far more than she's giving you now.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Strict rules for lovemaking.*



larry.gray said:


> Look, I'm pretty pro-marriage. Definitely pro-reconcilliation in the right circumstances.
> 
> But let me get this straight? She cheated on you. Won't show you remorse for that. Probably let you raise the OM's child. And you get thrown scraps for sex?
> 
> BS.. Just BS. You can do better. You deserve better. The phrase is bantered about often on this forum, but I can personally attest to the truth: You have to be willing to lose you marriage to save your marriage. You don't want to be married to _this_ woman any longer. Mind you, I'm not saying that you won't be married to your wife. You just deserve far more than she's giving you now.


.....well ...I'm pro marriage too ....hence the reason why I'm still married ...and fighting to keep it that way. 

.....regarding "scraps" for sex ......yeah ...I guess that once in the past 4 months fits that description. 

....believe me ...I'm pondering my options for an exit strategy ....and have presented said possibilities in therapy to her ...and the therapist ...in order to demonstrate the serious nature of my state of mind.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

CharlieParker said:


> Wearing socks is strictly prohibited.


:lol: This makes me laugh, because my W insists on wearing socks at all times, including when she's sleeping and during sex (although they frequently come off!). Why? Her feet are cold.

No set rules prior to lovemaking except: no cold hands (I use one of those warming beanbaggy things that you microwave). There are some "no-fly zones" during the deed, but pretty much anything can lead up to it.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Hurtin_Still said:


> .....well ...I'm pro marriage too ....hence the reason why I'm still married ...and fighting to keep it that way.
> 
> .....regarding "scraps" for sex ......yeah ...I guess that once in the past 4 months fits that description.


Maybe your approach is wrong. Maybe you're trying too hard.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> Philat...when we were young and we would have sex in the back seat of the 67 Pontiac lemans....I would get naked...mr Adams took off everything but his socks.
> I have teased him for 42 years:rofl:


You guys are going nuts in this forum today!


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

My wife needs to be warm and needs to feel certain that no one can hear or see us. I found those a little restrictive when I was younger, but they're really not so bad.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DepressedJuan said:


> I really didn't know how to word the title, without it being a mile long. Anyway my question is: Do any of the guys here SO's have to have certain rules/specifics before lovemaking takes place? To clarify, My wife has to be partially clothed, Lights off, only one position. Granted it hasn't always been this way. Back before we were married and some time after we would just go ape, trying new positions, all nude, lights on, ect. But this is not the case anymore. We are currently in a sexless marriage for almost a year, but that a question for another thread. I just wondered if I'm the only one.:scratchhead:


Sounds like her guard went up for some reason. She doesn't want to be vulnerable around you at this point.Could be self esteem or a combination of things.

I prefer candlelight or natural daylight...not many people feel sexy in bright lighting


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## honeysuckle (Feb 23, 2014)

Our rules:-
We both enjoy ourselves 
We both enjoy each other
We both orgasm at least once
No anal ever 
Will try anything/ everything else at least once
Any time,anyplace,anywhere is a motto we like!!!!
Degree of pain is on guidance at the time/ or for the situation
Last but not least no is no,stop is stop


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## usplus5 (Mar 2, 2014)

make sure the kids are preoccupied and whatever room you're in has a door with a lock. that's about it. with 5 kids and a 6th on the way it's necessary to do it whenever and wherever is available. anything is an option. communication. do what she needs you to. compliment her when you do. boost that self esteem.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

DepressedJuan said:


> I really didn't know how to word the title, without it being a mile long. Anyway my question is: Do any of the guys here SO's have to have certain rules/specifics before lovemaking takes place? To clarify, My wife has to be partially clothed, Lights off, only one position. Granted it hasn't always been this way. Back before we were married and some time after we would just go ape, trying new positions, all nude, lights on, ect. But this is not the case anymore. We are currently in a sexless marriage for almost a year, but that a question for another thread. I just wondered if I'm the only one.:scratchhead:


My x wife got to the point she preferred being under the covers, having a top on, and no doggy. I guess I was too dumb to realize it then, but I suppose that was the beginning of her losing attraction.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I'm opposite of you guys.

My HUSBAND has strict rules for love making. I could write a book on how the planets have to a aligned just right for him to have sex.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

revisiting, and probably still out of order. 
I think I could work with the lights out and silent rules as long as a gag and blindfold are included. I'm thinking of adopting some of these rules, at least temporarily. Trying to figure out how to add in planetary alignment. (honey it's time, Mercury is in orbit)
To tell the truth, rules just make me want to break them, it's a character fault. This attitude on my part has about wiped out my wife's best dominant characteristics. What fun is it to be the boss if the sub keep finding ways around the rules?
MN


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Only rule is you can do whatever you want as long as it doesnt involve touching her.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

:lol:

Sorry but that is hilarious....

In a sad way, of course.


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