# moving on too fast?



## OddOneOut (May 13, 2012)

My ex husband and I have been separated and divorced for 8 months now and I've been casually dating but no one has really stuck out as a "keeper" until recently. I met a guy and things were going great but then you could tell something was up with him. He is recently divorced and I was the first person he had seriously started dating so I knew I was setting myself up but decided to give it a shot anyways. So we broke up because he wasn't ready and wanted to be single for a while which is totally understandable but now I feel like I'm never going to find someone that its going to work out with. The timing is wrong, the person is wrong, the person isn't ready etc. This is the longest I've been single since I was 16 so maybe I'm being dramatic because I'm not use to it all but then again what if I'm not? Am I just trying to rush things? Someone slap me into emotional shape please.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

Odd, 

Totally normal. I've dabbled a bit in dating. Been on both sides of what you just said. A couple of times I backed off (too many red flags popping up) and a couple of times the lady backed off. 

Dating at this point of our lives is a bit more complex because we ALL have a ton of baggage and most of us have learned some lessons the first time around and are going to be very selective this time. 

Also, only 8 months? I don't know how old you are but if you have never been on your own since 16 then perhaps you should enjoy the time where you have an opportunity to figure out who you are. I'm just now really getting to that point and my divorce has been over a year.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

We are all wired differently, and we each have our own timeline for healing.

I have always taken a couple of years between relationships. I feel it takes me that long to mend my broken heart, find myself again, and regain equilibrium. Then I am ready to think about meeting someone new.

It is important to know the difference between feeling interest in finding a new partner, and feeling desperation. Time on one's own can be a very valuable opportunity for personal growth, and gives you the chance to listen to your own inner voice without it being obscured by someone else's.


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