# Is there something she is not telling me....



## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

OK so my wife has recently turned 40 and her libido has been in high gear. Some on this forum have commented that sudden spikes like this can often be signs of emotional or physical affairs. Where she works has many men (women too). She typically does not go out and there has never been any reason to suspect anything. 

Last week she went to a work-related party for s high-ranking executive that was leaving. For social and political reasons I encouraged her to go. She came home suprisingly early indicating that there was an ex-employee (also pretty high-ranking) that was still friend with many of her colleagues. According to her he was making blatant advances (being overtly touchy) and even suggested that they get a room. She is typically a friendly person and perhaps he misread the signals. The CEO had reserved several rooms for people to stay so they could have a good time and be safe. The guy got so forward that she walked out and grabbed a cab to come home. 

On the one hand I am glad that she told me about this and she left to avoid a possible problem. I have to be realistic and accept the fact that she may have been avoiding “temptation” rather than a situation that was “dangerous” as she suggested (she said she was afraid he might rape her). Since the guy does not work there I am not VERY concerned on the other hand I don’t want my wife to be faced with undo temptation. 
My thought is to ask her if she was temped at all and clarify if the situation was “dangerous” because he may have been attracted to him…. ( I wouldn’t say it but …plus….if she is horny 24/7…). I DO trust my wife and have no reason to believe that she would cheat.. At the same time I have no intentions of cheating but, don’t think mixing me, booze, a bunch of horny women...and an opportunity to be in a hotel situation....don't think this would be a prudent thing to do either. 

I guess my main question are guys that stupid/aggressive that they would go after a women who shows no interest? 

Thoughts on this all would be appreciated.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> OK so my wife has recently turned 40 and her libido has been in high gear. Some on this forum have commented that sudden spikes like this can often be signs of emotional or physical affairs. Where she works has many men (women too). She typically does not go out and there has never been any reason to suspect anything .


A woman’s sex drive normally spikes at about age 40. It’s natural. 


lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> Last week she went to a work-related party for s high-ranking executive that was leaving. For social and political reasons I encouraged her to go. She came home suprisingly early indicating that there was an ex-employee (also pretty high-ranking) that was still friend with many of her colleagues. According to her he was making blatant advances (being overtly touchy) and even suggested that they get a room. She is typically a friendly person and perhaps he misread the signals. The CEO had reserved several rooms for people to stay so they could have a good time and be safe. The guy got so forward that she walked out and grabbed a cab to come home.
> 
> On the one hand I am glad that she told me about this and she left to avoid a possible problem. I have to be realistic and accept the fact that she may have been avoiding “temptation” rather than a situation that was “dangerous” as she suggested (she said she was afraid he might rape her). Since the guy does not work there I am not VERY concerned on the other hand I don’t want my wife to be faced with undo temptation.
> 
> My thought is to ask her if she was temped at all and clarify if the situation was “dangerous” because he may have been attracted to him…. ( I wouldn’t say it but …plus….if she is horny 24/7…). I DO trust my wife and have no reason to believe that she would cheat.. At the same time I have no intentions of cheating but, don’t think mixing me, booze, a bunch of horny women...and an opportunity to be in a hotel situation....don't think this would be a prudent thing to do either.


You say that you trust your wife but you clearly do not. She told you what went on at the party. Believe her, that’s what went on. The guy was probably drunk and acting out. She got away from him. You need to believe her. 

If you start asking her if the real reason that she left was to avoid temptation, you will be telling her you believe she lied and you do not trust her. With that she will never open up to you again about anything like this. She obviously feels safe enough with you to tell you the truth. Don’t ruin that.



lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> I guess my main question are guys that stupid/aggressive that they would go after a women who shows no interest?


How old were you when you moved to planet earth? I ask because any man (and woman) who grew up on planet earth knows the answer to this question. The answer is that yes there are men who are this stupid/aggressive and go after women who show no interest in them. To these men what matters is that they are interested in the woman. What she wants and/or feels is of little to no interest to this kind of guy. Give this guy some booze and he’s not just stupid but he can be a danger to the women he targets. 

Just about every woman has been in the kind of situation our wife was in at least once, if not several times in her lifetime. There is nothing surprising about it. Your wife was smart enough to leave. You should be glad instead of accusing her of whatever fanaticizes you have about what you would do in similar circumstances.

By the way, why didn't you go to the party too?


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## Miss_Conduct (Jul 12, 2014)

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> Thoughts on this all would be appreciated.


She did exactly the right thing. Relax. And her libido has very little to do with it. Unless she finds pushy, clueless jerks a turn on you have nothing to worry about.

And she told you exactly what happened just so you would not be concerned about it and to reinforce that you can trust her. And now you don't trust her.

* face palm *


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

> I guess my main question are guys that stupid/aggressive that they would go after a women who shows no interest?


:lol:

Yes!

I hope you haven't said anything to her in the vein of what your thoughts/worries were in your post. 

Holy cow talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. (Thank you to...bandit? I think who explained what that means)

Her spike in libido is normal and common. Enjoy it, live it up!

Your correct response to her when she told you what happened was to lead her into the bedroom as you yank off her clothing and ravish her body. Make sure she KNEW she made the right choice not only to leave that party but to come home to YOU!

Hopefully, not too much time has passed and you can still ravish her silly!


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

are you worrying that going with him had actually crossed her mind, that's why she came back early not to be tempted?

if so, leave it. whatever was in her mind doesn't matter, she came back to you. we all can feel sometimes attracted to someone else, there is a lot interesting people around, but we make decisions wheter to act on this interest or not


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon lifeisbetterthanthealternative.
She did exactly the right thing. Be completely supportive - she was feeling threatened and did her best to get out of an uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation.

She did think about having sex with that guy. What she thought was *NO*. 

Don't give in to suspicions and mistrust.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I have been in the same situation as your wife. It's scary when a man is aggressive like that. She told you why she came home early and you don't believe her. That's even scarier. If she has Always been truthful with you, why do you not believe her? Sometimes we project our own thoughts on others. Maybe you are not to be trusted in that scenario?


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> OK so my wife has recently turned 40 and her libido has been in high gear. ........Thoughts on this all would be appreciated.


uh, throw her over the kitchen table and make love like you are rabid weasels?

You are so luck and looking the gift horse in the mouth In a couple years her libido will crash. Make the MOST OF IT right now. Sex 4 times a day if she can take it. Sex toys, kinky stuff, wherever her mind wants to wander!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Yep...our sex drives can go through the roof & then some at this age... I would have died & went to heaven with 3 times a day and was wishing he was 20 yrs younger..

Your wife DID the right thing.. :smthumbup:...I know with me, along with the higher sex drive, I felt like my mind was hi-jacked...constantly on sex.. it was unrelenting.. but I did take this ALL TO MY HUSBAND...for a time he'd joke it was going to fall off..(though he was loving it) - I even caused him some performance pressure...he still didn't complain!... 

For me...also with this came almost a need to talk about everything & anything sexual ...scenarios of temptation...why not !..we talked about it ALL -openly.. and we grew together.... 

I think if you have the sort of relationship where you are both highly transparent to begin with -no questions would be off the table or cause an offense...I realize many may not agree with me, I just know that if my H asked me such questions, we'd easily be able to talk about it -either way...

But I'll have to agree with the others here, in most cases.. best to not go there.. she may be offended.....


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> uh, throw her over the kitchen table and make love like you are rabid weasels?
> 
> You are so luck and looking the gift horse in the mouth In a couple years her libido will crash. Make the MOST OF IT right now. Sex 4 times a day if she can take it. Sex toys, kinky stuff, wherever her mind wants to wander!


Me too!!! Give lots of affection. Make love to her like no tomorrow. Letting her know she has all she needs at home!!!


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