# Can she be your wife or not?



## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

Are you planning to get married and not sure if she can be your wife or not?

Then it is important to take into account many points when selecting your wife if you do not want your marriage to end in a divorce or spend your life living in an unhappy marriage.

Based on my personal experience and experience of people around me I will post some red flags that you need to take into account before marriage and will answer any questions you may have.

If there are people who made a mistake and married a wrong woman, it does not mean that you have to make the same mistakes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Its sad as we see here all the time people who are dating or engaged and you just know from what they say that they are just not right for each other. I guess many of them will be back here in a few years.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Its sad as we see here all the time people who are dating or engaged and you just know that they are just not right for each other. I guess many of them will be back here in a few years.


If people will be honest with each other, and especially with themselves the number of divorces will reduce.


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## The IT Guy (Oct 17, 2020)

At this point, I don't see marriage as being on the table for me anytime soon or even viable. I've got my reasons.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Better to be single than unhappily married.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Marriage being the number one causational factor in divorce we are headed in the right direction. It's not so much that one specific woman is incompatible with you. Most of them are. The ones that aren't will change soon enough.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

IMO a big factor is peoples failure to prioritize compatibility over love and attraction.

Love can grow out of compatibility, but love cannot create compatibility.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

@*lifeistooshort's *advice would be my part 2, part 1 would be. 

Character is character. It effects every aspect of the marriage. It's what gives people the intestinal fortitude to change and work on things for the betterment of the couple it's doesn't just prevent cheating. It's what gives people the courage to sacrifice for the marriage even when that is hard.

The best way to assess that is to watch what they do NOT with you but with situations or people when it's hard and it would be easy and expedient to do the wrong thing. When you are in the beginnings of a relationship you can bet they are on their best behavior when it comes to you. But probably not with other people and situations.

Eventually your relationship will become a normal part of life and they will behave exactly with you like they do everyone else.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> IMO a big factor is peoples failure to prioritize compatibility over love and attraction.
> 
> Love can grow out of compatibility, but love cannot create compatibility.


Agree 100%.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

sokillme said:


> @*lifeistooshort's *advice would be my part 2, part 1 would be.
> 
> Character is character. It effects every aspect of the marriage. It's what gives people the intestinal fortitude to change and work on things for the betterment of the couple it's doesn't just prevent cheating. It's what gives people the courage to sacrifice for the marriage even when that is hard.
> 
> ...


Good point. Especially look how people behave with others below them, such as waitress for example


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

The IT Guy said:


> At this point, I don't see marriage as being on the table for me anytime soon or even viable. I've got my reasons.





DownByTheRiver said:


> Better to be single than unhappily married.


Smart decision


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

*Financial situation*
One of the first things you need to consider is the financial situation and general approach to finances you and your potential wife have.

So, if you are a leader and want to remain in such status after marriage your financial situation must be better than hers and you must earn more than she does. Otherwise, it will be extremely hard for you to have a final word in all situations.

For example, if you say no to something, she will still go and do it, since she has finances to do so.

Another issue to consider is her approach to finances. See if she was raised as a spoiled child and got whatever she wanted from her parents. If that is the case she will continue to ask/demand stuff from you. If she has rich parents, then be careful. If you will not buy her another “toy”, she will ask her parents and they most likely will buy it for her.

Lastly, try to observe her behaviour to determine her general approach to finances. Does she talk a lot about designer clothes, the latest iPhone, posh restaurants and wastes her money? Then, I have bad news for you and most likely her behaviour will never change and such a person will have a negative impact on your finances and your life goals.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

OK, I'm not married, but have a couple of tidbits of info that may be of assistance from a guys perspective at least... 

1) When first dating, pay close attention to her relationship with her father, as he was the first major male figure in her life, and will give an indication of how you will be treated down the line (yes, there are exceptions I realise).

2) The sooner you take her out of her comfort zone, the sooner you will see what lies beneath. For me, it would involve something outdoors and physical, like a long hike through some rugged or mountainous terrain, and if it rains, even better! When people are under duress any 'masks' begin to slip.

3) If she volunteers her time for any sort of charity or good cause (no, political parties don't count ) it gives an indication of thinking beyond 'me'.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Luminous said:


> 2) The sooner you take her out of her comfort zone, the sooner you will see what lies beneath. For me, it would involve something outdoors and physical, like a long hike through some rugged or mountainous terrain, and if it rains, even better!


"Hey, I was really impressed how you held up on that disastrous first date! About a second date..."

"Washing my hair! <click>"

I agree how she reacts to adversity is significant, but be very cautious about causing it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

sokillme said:


> @*lifeistooshort's *advice would be my part 2, part 1 would be.
> 
> Character is character. It effects every aspect of the marriage. It's what gives people the intestinal fortitude to change and work on things for the betterment of the couple it's doesn't just prevent cheating. It's what gives people the courage to sacrifice for the marriage even when that is hard.
> 
> ...


I completely agree with this. How can you get a clue if someone is going to cheat on you? Do they lie to other people, like their friends or employers? Do they treat animals and people weaker than them well? Do they help neighbors? Do they show up on time and do their best in different life situations and seem to have some overall ethics? Or at least ethics that match your own. 

People so often overlook the big picture.


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

Luminous said:


> OK, I'm not married, but have a couple of tidbits of info that may be of assistance from a guys perspective at least...
> 
> 1) When first dating, pay close attention to her relationship with her father, as he was the first major male figure in her life, and will give an indication of how you will be treated down the line (yes, there are exceptions I realise).
> 
> ...


What if she had no father, or he repeatedly left when she was young, before leaving for good?

Abandonment issues?


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

TomNebraska said:


> What if she had no father, or he repeatedly left when she was young, before leaving for good?
> 
> Abandonment issues?


In that case look at another male person in her life, like an uncle or a brother for instance. They way she acts with them and type of relationship she has with them can be an indicator of what to expect.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

Luminous said:


> OK, I'm not married, but have a couple of tidbits of info that may be of assistance from a guys perspective at least...
> 
> 1) When first dating, pay close attention to her relationship with her father, as he was the first major male figure in her life, and will give an indication of how you will be treated down the line (yes, there are exceptions I realise).
> 
> ...


Really good tips and straight to the point.

Like the second point about comfort zone. If she refuses to participate in such activities then it can be a red flag.

As for the charity she does not have to be a member of any charity, but feeding homeless cats, donating money to a good cause once in a while is definitely a good sign.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

I agree with the wisdom of filtering out "gold diggers" of either gender. However, if you must have the "final word" in all financial decisions it would be best not to get married at all. Marriage is a partnership where there is discussion and compromise prior to making important decisions. Veto power in a relationship is for a parent, not a spouse.



wife_or_not said:


> *Financial situation*
> One of the first things you need to consider is the financial situation and general approach to finances you and your potential wife have.
> 
> So, if you are a leader and want to remain in such status after marriage your financial situation must be better than hers and you must earn more than she does. Otherwise, it will be extremely hard for you to have a final word in all situations.
> ...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

lifeistooshort said:


> IMO a big factor is peoples failure to prioritize compatibility over love and attraction.
> 
> Love can grow out of compatibility, but love cannot create compatibility.


Aside from the importance of compatibility over the long haul, I find it best not to find just someone you can live with, but someone you simply just can't live without.

I have not found love to grow out of compatibility, but that's just me.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

RandomDude said:


> Aside from the importance of compatibility over the long haul, I find it best not to find just someone you can live with, but someone you simply just can't live without.


I have found people I prefer not to live without, but there will never be anyone I can't live without.


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

SpinyNorman said:


> I have found people I prefer not to live without, but there will never be anyone I can't live without.


I understand this. I'm very self-sufficient, and would prefer to do things myself, rather than ask others to, or hire someone to. 

I also like my own space, am an avid reader, and am perfectly fine being alone for long periods of time.

I have yet to meet a woman who is similar to me in this regard, & so feel I need to compromise a bit on this, in order to have a relationship & fill those needs. 

I DO like to go out, socialize and drink, just not as much as a lot of other people do... so it's a bit of a journey, finding someone who is right for me.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

wife_or_not said:


> *Financial situation*
> One of the first things you need to consider is the financial situation and general approach to finances you and your potential wife have.
> 
> So, if you are a leader and want to remain in such status after marriage your financial situation must be better than hers and you must earn more than she does. Otherwise, it will be extremely hard for you to have a final word in all situations.
> ...


This made me throw up in my mouth a little. You should just stay single if you feel the need to have the last word and constantly be in charge and expect her to stay “in her place “ 

Gross. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

TomNebraska said:


> I understand this. I'm very self-sufficient, and would prefer to do things myself, rather than ask others to, or hire someone to.
> 
> I also like my own space, am an avid reader, and am perfectly fine being alone for long periods of time.
> 
> ...


My point is, no matter how big a part of my life someone is, something might happen to them, like they might die. And no matter how much I liked the person in my life, I would go on with my life, i.e. live without them.

I'm not sure if you are saying something different or not, I just wanted to clarify.


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

SpinyNorman said:


> My point is, no matter how big a part of my life someone is, something might happen to them, like they might die. And no matter how much I liked the person in my life, I would go on with my life, i.e. live without them.
> 
> I'm not sure if you are saying something different or not, I just wanted to clarify.


Haha, okay, I get it. You meant that very literally.

I feel the same way in that regard as well.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> This made me throw up in my mouth a little. You should just stay single if you feel the need to have the last word and constantly be in charge and expect her to stay “in her place “
> 
> Gross.
> 
> ...


Yeah. I keep my woman in line with plenty of spankins, the nice kind, not ruling over her financially or trying to control her that way.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I think one of the first steps is determine your own attitudes, beliefs, values and objectives for marriage within yourself.

I think the trend towards people waiting longer to marry and even fewer marriages will continue. 

And what we consider “traditional marriage “ will trend downward significantly in the upcoming years. 

Even when I was a young adult in the ‘80s, I never wanted a June/Ward Cleaver marriage. When my peers were marrying young in their late teens/ early 20s I thought they were crazy. Some are now in their 3rd marriages and a few seem perfectly healthy 35 years later but that’s not the point. 

Feminism continues to evolve and change the roles and even laws regarding the roles of women.

And now we have the emergence of Red Pill and MGTOW and even PUA that is also going to change the attitudes, beliefs and values of men as well. 

The 70s/80s brought about a change in women to where women said you don’t own me and I don’t have to be restricted to domestic dutie.

Men of the 2020s are now going to be saying, you aren’t entitled to my bank
Account or credit cards. Buy your own damn designer bags. 

1970s Women’s Lib was about equal opportunity in education and the workplace.

2020+ Men’s Lib will be about men not having to support and pay the way of a perfectly intelligent, able bodied adult. 

My wife and I don’t argue about finances. We have a house account that we each put in 50% of the mortgage. As long as she pays into that, I don’t care what she does with her money. If she wants to buy a shiny red Mustang and can afford the payments, she can get it.

If I come home with a new gun or a new motorcycle and it’s out of my account, not a thing she can say about it. 

If her account is at zero and she wants a new designer handbag, she knows to not even ask me. 

So I think going forward, the person one needs to pick depends largely on compatibility on basic beliefs and objectives of what marriage even is and what it means to the parties in it.

In days of yore, our families, churches and communities taught us the definitions and parameters of marriage and then it was on us to comply.

The future trend will be if the individuals even want to go there to begin with and then they are their partner basically set their own rules and parameters.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

wife_or_not said:


> If people will be honest with each other, and especially with themselves the number of divorces will reduce.


I agree with you, but sometimes family and/or society pressures you to be something you shouldn't be or can't be, and a lot of people unfortunately become victims of this just so they can make everybody happy. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but there are a lot that do what they do b/c it's not acceptable to be unmarried, or a "*****", or to not want kids...


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> So I think going forward, the person one needs to pick depends largely on compatibility on basic beliefs and objectives of what marriage even is and what it means to the parties in it.
> 
> In days of yore, our families, churches and communities taught us the definitions and parameters of marriage and then it was on us to comply.
> 
> The future trend will be if the individuals even want to go there to begin with and then they are their partner basically set their own rules and parameters.


I used financials in my example above, but you can apply that to any other area or criteria of marriage. 

People of 2030 are not going to goose-step into an arbitrary list of marital “rules” like the generations before us. 

Everything from household chores, diet, leisure actives, work and income, child bearing and even marital sexuality itself will all be on the negotiating table and each couple will need to determine their own course of action. 

Our grandparents were told they were going to marry and produce children and that they would marry young and be sexually exclusive with that person forever. They either complied or were an outlier.

Our grandchildren on the other hand will need to make a thousand decisions and will then need to make conscious choices day by day as to what their lives will be like. 

The main thing our children and further descendants will need to be prepared for is a dynamic and ever changing playing field. 

Your little honey may be hot for you one day and want to stay home and raise your babies. 

But once kids are in school, she may want to spend 4 hours a day at the gym to get her figure back and bang Sven From yoga while she’s there.

Then once her figure is back she’ll want to get a masters in finance and get her CPA certification and open her own firm. 

Then when Sven From Yoga ghosts her, she’ll want to start swinging or have her girlfriend move into the house. 

This is what our grandchildren will face that our grandparents never even knew could exist.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

And I think one of the biggest things people will need to grasp and be prepared for is that serial relationships and institutionalized divorce will be the norm. 

People may still initially go into a relationship wanting it to last forever but in 10,15,20 years they will want out ....bad. 

And what will separate future couples from past couples is that when they want to separate- they can. 

My kids are 18 and 16. 

Even though their mother and I have been married 25 and model what I think is healthy marriage to them, the reality is in their world, they will probably each have multiple significant relationships throughout the course of their lives. 

Despite my own moral beliefs, they need to be prepared for that.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

So bottomline here is in days of yore, whether someone could be your wife depended on if she pretty, if she could cook,clean and have babies and whether your family would accept her and if her family would accept you. 

Future mate selection will involve sitting down with a checklist of 126 different criteria and hours and hours and hours of frank, open discussion at the negotiation table to determine if you can even work out a deal or not. 

And then the question will still remain on how long that particular partnership will last.


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> ...
> 
> Our grandchildren on the other hand will need to make a thousand decisions and will then need to make conscious choices day by day as to what their lives will be like.
> 
> ...


I generally agree with you, but a lot of this isn't "sign of the times" stuff; it's just people having more personal freedom. It's not like spousal infidelity - by men and women - is a new thing: people are just talking about it more openly, and trying to find ways to accommodate that "urge" that doesn't go away once you get married. 

If 19th century French novels have taught me _anything_, it's that "arrangements" between married couples are nothing new and have been around for 100's of years. Kind of like your financial arrangement you describe above where you're each free to spend 1/2 your income however you want, spouses would take a "I don't need to know about it, unless it's going to affect me personally" view of the other one having an affair. As long as one spouse's actions didn't affect the stability of the marriage, they were free to make their own decisions. 

I do think the trend of people waiting longer to get married is a good idea. In a way, it's kinda crazy that we ever thought having 18-25 year olds - _who are barely financially independent at that time, if even, and still emotionally maturing_ - making a decision to commit to a single relationship _for the rest of their lives_ was the right thing for them to be doing at that time. But then again... Hell, I was 32 when I first got married, and thought I knew what I was doing, and it turned out to be a disaster!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Living together before marriage helps identify and iron out future marital wrinkles.

Those wrinkles that are, in reality, significant speed bumps, and those that cannot be hammered flat, become that red flag to marriage.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

If one partner is not kind or flexible, the other better be very pliable and forgiving.

An unrealistic expectation.

Hmm.


_Are Dee-_


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> Living together before marriage helps identify and iron out future marital wrinkles.
> 
> Those wrinkles that are, in reality, significant speed bumps, and those that cannot be hammered flat, become that red flag to marriage.


While I kind of agree in principle, the issue there is you have already put yourself in a state of commitment .

There have been people that have successfully sued for “partner support” and had property divided and of course child support etc if children came out of that arrangement.

Cohabitation is not necessarily a free pass or without legal obligations.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

TomNebraska said:


> I generally agree with you, but a lot of this isn't "sign of the times" stuff; it's just people having more personal freedom. It's not like spousal infidelity - by men and women - is a new thing: people are just talking about it more openly, and trying to find ways to accommodate that "urge" that doesn't go away once you get married.
> 
> If 19th century French novels have taught me _anything_, it's that "arrangements" between married couples are nothing new and have been around for 100's of years. Kind of like your financial arrangement you describe above where you're each free to spend 1/2 your income however you want, spouses would take a "I don't need to know about it, unless it's going to affect me personally" view of the other one having an affair. As long as one spouse's actions didn't affect the stability of the marriage, they were free to make their own decisions.
> 
> I do think the trend of people waiting longer to get married is a good idea. In a way, it's kinda crazy that we ever thought having 18-25 year olds - _who are barely financially independent at that time, if even, and still emotionally maturing_ - making a decision to commit to a single relationship _for the rest of their lives_ was the right thing for them to be doing at that time. But then again... Hell, I was 32 when I first got married, and thought I knew what I was doing, and it turned out to be a disaster!


I think that can be summoned up as - why are more people divorcing and moving on from one relationship to the next these days? .... because they can.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

GC1234 said:


> I agree with you, but sometimes family and/or society pressures you to be something you shouldn't be or can't be, and a lot of people unfortunately become victims of this just so they can make everybody happy. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but there are a lot that do what they do b/c it's not acceptable to be unmarried, or a "***", or to not want kids...


Good point. Being dependent on public opinion is a big problem. 
Thus, people who are not bothered by what others think are the happier ones.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> I think that can be summoned up as - why are more people divorcing and moving on from one relationship to the next these days? .... because they can.


And, maybe because they should...

Before they become hopelessly, leg entangled.

It can be, because that they are commitment phobic.
It can be, that they run at the first sign of conflict.
It can be, that they are smarter than the average love bird.
It can be, because they see only that nice face or smile, not seeing the snarl underneath. 
It can be, that these are those shallow men and women.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

For some reason the topic title keeps bringing up lyrics of a song in my head:

"She could be my wife"
"That good?"
"The best 30 seconds of my life!"


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

@oldshirt , pretty good analysis.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

wife_or_not said:


> Good point. Being dependent on public opinion is a big problem.
> Thus, people who are not bothered by what others think are the happier ones.


True, but it's not always that simple.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Can someone start a thread "Can he be your husband or not?"....


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> And, maybe because they should...
> 
> Before they become hopelessly, leg entangled.
> 
> ...


I agree that many should. 

The older and grumpier I get, the less I believe in commitment phobia. There are always outliers of course but I do not believe that there are many people that are truly fearful or phobic of commitment - I think they just don't want to or more specifically do not want to with the person they are currently with. 

How many supposed commitment phobes have you known that was with someone for years and kept saying they were afraid of commitment or 'weren't ready' blah blah blah and then a handful of months after that relationship ended, they were getting married to someone else. It's almost cliche'. 

And I really don't believe there are a lot of people that walk away due to trivial reasons. There's just too much hassle and expense and loss in a divorce to go through all that because someone is squeezing the tube of toothpaste from the wrong end or not loading the dishwasher right. 

There may be reasons that seem trivial to the rest of us, but there is a dynamic taking place that makes it very real to them. They may say they are leaving due to archetypal "nothing in common" or "irreconsilable differences" but what it really boils down to is they simply don't want to be with that person anymore. 

And I don't know if it's even shallow or not. One person's shallow is another person's key criteria. 

I once broke up with a very good person who was by all objective accounts a very good girlfriend and a very skilled and enthusiastic lover because she would never polish her nails, tan or wear sexy lingerie. 

Many people would think I was shallow, if not actually crazy. 

But conversely, I would be perfectly ok if my wife (who does do her nails, tans and will wear sexy lingerie on occasion) wanted to have 3-some or gang bang and I would probably even be ok with her taking a female lover as long as I was still getting mine and especially if the lover was DTF with me as well. 

Most men couldn't care less about the nails or tan and would be horrified at the thought of anyone else touching their wife. 

So I am shallow or just a different set of standards?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

WandaJ said:


> Can someone start a thread "Can he be your husband or not?"....


Someone could if they had several years to devote to it and it would end up being a book would be thicker than an entire set of encyclopedias. 

And it's questionable how necessary it would be because most women are raised from birth being instructed by their mothers and grandmothers and aunts etc on what criteria to look for in a man and what are necessary vs nonnecessary traits and characteristics in a potential husband. 

And up until the last generation or two, it was pretty standard practice for a serious suitor to go to a woman's parents and ask for their blessing prior to or at least shortly after proposal. We were married 25 years ago and I asked my wife's parents if I met with their approval. even though that seems passe' now, it should probably still be in practice for a variety of reasons.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> I once broke up with a very good person who was by all objective accounts a very good girlfriend and a very skilled and enthusiastic lover because she would never polish her nails, tan or wear sexy lingerie.
> 
> Many people would think I was shallow, if not actually crazy.
> 
> So I am shallow or just a different set of standards?


Different priorities. You knew your preferences, and weren't afraid to act on them. Too many people are afraid and stay either miserable, or in just lukewarm relationship for years (myself included).


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

WandaJ said:


> Different priorities. You knew your preferences, and weren't afraid to act on them. Too many people are afraid and stay either miserable, or in just lukewarm relationship for years (myself included).


I actually stayed with the person mentioned above too long myself. I was legit and sincere in beginning the relationship and for a time did think she may be "the one." She did check off a lot of boxes and my mother and grandmother would have definately approved of all of the criteria she did meet. 

Even once I kinda knew there were some things I just wouldn't be able to get past, I stuck it out for a lot longer than I should have due to thinking that somehow all the pieces should just fall into place. they didn't. 

And now many years later, I even feel a bit of regret for not throwing in the towel sooner. I was with her from 22- almost 28. Very near-prime time for me and as she was a few years older, she was over 30 when we split....and yes she did have some resentment and bitterness in crossing the 30 barrier (this was back in very late '80s when women were being told they had a statistically greater chance of being killed by terrorists than marrying after 30) 

After a point, I knew it wasn't going to work but I soldiered on because no one breaks up over nails, tans and lingerie (to be fair, there were other things)


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> I think that can be summoned up as - why are more people divorcing and moving on from one relationship to the next these days? .... because they can.


Are they? I recall reading divorce rates peaked in the 70's, and have gone down and stabilized. 

Link (US Census)... looks like both marriage and divorce rates have gone down since 2008, but divorce rates have gone down by a bit more.

Link (whatever "World Atlas" is):


> Since the 1980s, the divorce rate has been going down. People are either not getting married or they are making better choices when they do. In the 80’s the divorce rate in the US sat at 50%, which sounds rather dire, and now that has gone down to about 39%, experts say.


I recall reading that the divorce rates were a lot lower for first marriages that began when the partners were over 26, and since more people were waiting longer, divorce rates in general went down. 

I know people from either side of those statistics... some that got married a bit younger and are still together, others that got married while older than that, and got divorced.


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## wife_or_not (Oct 18, 2020)

GC1234 said:


> I agree with you, but sometimes family and/or society pressures you to be something you shouldn't be or can't be, and a lot of people unfortunately become victims of this just so they can make everybody happy. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but there are a lot that do what they do b/c it's not acceptable to be unmarried, or a "***", or to not want kids...


Totally agree. I always thought that was the case on so called third world countries, but more I research the topic I see that the issue is almost everywhere.


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