# Daughter sees father watching porn



## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

I don't know if this is for the Sex in Marriage section or not, but I will try.

My best friend's daughter (aged 28) walked into the TV room and saw her father watching some very hard core porn.

She was absolutely disgusted in the thought of her dad watching that kind of degrading to women porn.

She doesn't want to speak to her father now and her mother (my friend) is totally disgusted in him as well and doesn't know how to handle the situation.

It is Thanksgiving next weekend here in Canada, and my friend would like to have all the family for dinner, but her daughter says she can't stand the sight of her dad now.

My friend is asking me how I think she should handle it all, but I have no idea.

Any suggestions?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She's 28. Time to grow up. Oh, and its her dad, not her husband. Really none of her business what he watches.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

How does she think she came into this world? Immaculate conception?

Her dad likes sex. With women. And, because he's a man, he's visual. Tell her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

When you said 28 I'm assuming the daughter is 28? Sorry head clogged from sinus mess. Just making sure I got it right! 

Maybe they should hold a family meeting, and the daughter needs to tell her dad what she saw and how disgusted she was by it. Does he even know she walked in?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Ya, well that being said, maybe the dad should make sure he's alone before viewing his porn. How gross, and no wonder she doesn't want to talk to him right now! Lots of us get the heebie-jeebies when we think of our parents doing anything sexual! Walking in on Dad and his hard core porn? Yuck. Mental images assaulting my brain right now!


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

If watching the porn was all he was doing, she should count her blessings.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Ya, well that being said, maybe the dad should make sure he's alone before viewing his porn. How gross, and no wonder she doesn't want to talk to him right now! Lots of us get the heebie-jeebies when we think of our parents doing anything sexual! Walking in on Dad and his hard core porn? Yuck. Mental images assaulting my brain right now!


:lol: Exactly.

The women he was looking at were probably close to his daughters age too, so that might be part of why shes bothered by it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

friend should tell her daughter to stop being such an entitled little princess and get over it. So her dad was watching some porn,yeah it's gross to catch a parent doing ANYTHING sexual but geez, grow up!

edited to add, i do agree dad should be more discreet next time! but if she's 28, was it some sort of pop in and say hello visit? maybe he thought for sure he was alone and she just barged in and got all emotionally scarred?


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> If watching the porn was all he was doing, she should count her blessings.


Lmao...exactly what I was thinking. 









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Ya. It's one of those things that we know happens but we don't want to think about it, much less walk in on it...


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> If watching the porn was all he was doing, she should count her blessings.


I agree !! If he's going to be crucified for not locking the door then i really feel for him  ??? 

He could be doing so much worse than watching porn ..... perhaps his wife should browse thru some of these threads and start counting as Sbrown suggested ???


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

You said the wife was disgusted too..so I'm assuming she didn't know her husband watched porn either? Wow what a double whammy!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...from now on I'm going to make as much banging around as possible when dropping in on my parents, just to make sure I never have to post on here:

"Guess what guys, walked in on my parents acting out a BDSM scene my mom read in '50 Shades'..."


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Yes, the daughter is 28.

When she walked in, she screamed and called him disgusting and he hasn't said a word about it since.

My friend is also disgusted that her daughter saw it and is so mad about it, she hasn't said a word to the husband either but is keeping her distance from him.

This is a VERY religious family also.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Ya. It's one of those things that we know happens but we don't want to think about it, much less walk in on it...


...in which case we'd have to burn our own eyes out.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Omgitsjoe said:


> I agree !! If he's going to be crucified for not locking the door then i really feel for him  ???
> 
> He could be doing so much worse than watching porn ..... perhaps his wife should browse thru some of these threads and start counting as *Sbrown suggested *???


I have a feeling Sbrown was thinking 'lucky she didn't walk in on him in a slightly more awkward moment', such as him jerking off or something.

Christ, it's embarassing enough walking in on someone who's using the toilet...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

CallaLily said:


> When you said 28 I'm assuming the daughter is 28? Sorry head clogged from sinus mess. Just making sure I got it right!
> 
> Maybe they should hold a family meeting, and the daughter needs to tell her dad what she saw and how disgusted she was by it. Does he even know she walked in?


A family meeting? Sounds like you're suggesting an ambush. Personally I would not react very well at all to my CHILDREN ambushing me and telling me how disgusted they are. That would earn them a big FU. The only one who has a legitimate issue is the wife. And if he's watching porn in the living room, I have to wonder how she's doing in the bedroom.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Ugh!

That is just a bad, creepy day for everybody.

She is 28 - she should be able to handle the horrible wrongness of it. Grow up. At the very least she should be able to pretend that it didnt happen.

OR - she can make a big deal out of it and throw an embargo on family functions and make a scene and say 'like totally, GROSS' and behave like a 15 year old. I would tell her to grow up and let it go.

I would also tell daddy to maybe keep his pants on in the TV room when people are in the house. Moron. WTF.

But you know what - lots of people have stories like this. She isnt the first person to catch someone masturbating or watching porn... or both. Even a parent. She is old enough to deal.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

confused55 said:


> This is a VERY religious family also.


aaaahhh ok that makes more sense. time for a family meeting in that case


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

confused55 said:


> Yes, the daughter is 28.
> 
> When she walked in, she screamed and called him disgusting and he hasn't said a word about it since.
> 
> ...


I suspect the father is embarrassed and his daughter and wife hurt by what he was doing. However, I think it needs to be addressed like grown ups. They need to all sit down and talk about it.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> Ugh!
> 
> That is just a bad, creepy day for everybody.
> 
> *I would also tell daddy to maybe keep his pants on in the TV room when the people are home. Moron. WTF.*


:rofl: No kidding!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Ugh!
> 
> That is just a bad, creepy day for everybody.
> 
> ...


Yes, dad was definitely an idiot in this case. There's a time and a place.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> A family meeting? Sounds like you're suggesting an ambush. Personally I would not react very well at all to my CHILDREN ambushing me and telling me how disgusted they are. That would earn them a big FU. The only one who has a legitimate issue is the wife. And if he's watching porn in the living room, I have to wonder how she's doing in the bedroom.


Yep a family meeting its how people get their feelings out on the table..apparently these people were hurt by what they saw...and he may have been embarrassed..I'm not saying what he did was right or wrong or how she reacted was right or wrong..but sometimes talking something out that bothers you can at least be helpful...and if thats not what you would do..then oh well!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Family meeting? Are you serious?...apparently, while visiting my SIL and her family last summer, I interupted her18 year old son in the throes of solo-passion by using the washroom by his bedroom. He then overheard my husband and me talking about M....he was so convinced we were talking about him, he ran upstairs and confessed to his uber-religious parents, who then came and talked to me and H about it...WTF? I coulda done without being involved!!!

The daughter has to go to a clinic and have her memory wiped so that she can get on with her life. No good can come having a family meeting about it.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

I'm disgusted by a 28 year old living with her parents and passing judgement on them.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> I suspect the father is embarrassed and his daughter and wife hurt by what he was doing. However, I think it needs to be addressed like grown ups. They need to all sit down and talk about it.


I dunno.

If this happened when I was 28 you now what? Its something that just _didn't happen_. 

Im not completely persuaded that getting everyone in a room to talk about it is the right thing here. I mean - we are not talking about explaining something wierd to a child. What is everyone going to say or learn here? Nothing really helpful is my guess. Its not like everyone doesnt already know exactly what happend, and why, and that it likely wont happen again.

No sense picking at the wound until it is a festering, ***** mess that will stink for years.

Probably my catholic upbringing that says 'cover it up'  but that isnt what I mean. What I mean is - this is not a 'teaching moment', it should be an amnesia moment. 

gads... how many times can I roll my eyes?


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

I suggested that they talk about it all, but they're just soooo religious that they can't even mention it or say the words.

They have a 31 yr old son who is not married yet and and is still a virgin because you simply cannot have sexual relations of any kind before marriage.

So you see what they are dealing with.

My friend thinks there is no point in talking about it to him because he will just take it underground further. I'm sure she is right.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

i was thinking family meeting to address the fact that the daughter is willing to ruin family gatherings over this.she needs to be told this is unacceptable.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

And, if the family meeting can't be done before family holiday plans, then the 28 year old can make her excuses as to why she isn't coming... be it feeling ill (yea, she likely is), or whatever. 

Hey, I'm 37 and I would be disgusted if I saw my dad watching porn as well. But that's not gonna happen so no worries there.... he is disgusted by it as well (very religious family as well).


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

The daughter doesn't live with them. She was just over visiting and I guess he didn't hear her walking down the stairs, so he didn't have time to change the channel.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Yep I made a suggestion they talk about it. If they want to great, if not great. I mean if they choose to walk around like robots walking on eggshells with feelings of hurt and embarrassment pent up, more power to them.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Well, if nothing else, this thread gave me a good laugh when I needed it.

Good luck to your friend, OP! I'm sure everything will come out OK...


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Oh, and tell the daughter not to worry about it...I'm sure one day, years from now, they'll all be sitting around the kitchen table laughing about this...! :rofl:


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hicks said:


> I'm disgusted by a 28 year old living with her parents and passing judgement on them.


Pretty hard not to have a strong opinion when you catch your dad jerking one off to porn in the livingroom. Ew.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Oh, and tell the daughter not to worry about it...I'm sure one day, years from now, they'll all be sitting around the kitchen table laughing about this...! :rofl:



They won't be laughing with the type of porn this was.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

she doesn't live with them and just comes waltzing in without a warning...

I bet she'll call from now on


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> Pretty hard not to have a strong opinion when you catch your dad jerking one off to porn in the livingroom. Ew.


Especially since she doesn't even live there...a little discretion is definitely in order.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> Yep I made a suggestion they talk about it. If they want to great, if not great. I mean if they choose to walk around like robots walking on eggshells with feelings of hurt and embarrassment pent up, more power to them.


This is likely what will happen, especially since the daughter doesn't live there. No one will have to deal with anything, the dad will go back to watching his porn and the daughter will go about her business. But when they see each other or have family gatherings, the feelings of disgust and embarrassment will likely resurface and the walking on eggshells will take place, and nothing will get resolved. Or, the daughter may forgive the father over time, but probably will be a long while, until then, eggshells will be cracked.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Hicks said:


> I'm disgusted by a 28 year old living with her parents and passing judgement on them.


Please tell me this is more about the "passing judgement" than about the 28 year old living with parents. (Yes, I know OP, you clarified that she was visiting). Because if you are disgusted about a 28 year old living with her parents, feel free to tell that to my sister, who moved back home when she decided to divorce her lying, cheating husband...AND she has had her OWN income since moving.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

My sister lived with our parents until she was 31. Didn't move out until her wedding day. Was also a virgin until then. She's very religious. My parents are not. But I'll tell you this....if she had dared to pass judgement on something my parents did while in their house, either one of them would have told her to pack sand.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Who says she's passing judgement? Maybe she's just GROSSED OUT!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

confused55 said:


> They won't be laughing with the type of porn this was.


TMI.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.. I CANT HEAR YOU!










I think Im going to break my 'ew' bone.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> My sister lived with our parents until she was 31. Didn't move out until her wedding day. Was also a virgin until then. She's very religious. My parents are not. But I'll tell you this....if she had dared to pass judgement on something my parents did while in their house, either one of them would have told her to pack sand.


"Dad. Could you please not whack off to bukkake porn in the TV room? Its grossing me out."

"Who do you think you are! If you dont like it, you can pack sand!. Could you pass me the remote? (and the lube?) "


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

confused55 said:


> They won't be laughing with the type of porn this was.


Well, then I'm not quite sure what to suggest, confused55...! If they won't talk about it and they can't deal with it, this will likely be the elephant in the room for as long as they live, unless the daughter sees this as something so horrendous, she estranges herself from her family.

And really, how religious can the guy be if he's looking at porn that's THAT disturbing?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...and what is 'packing sand'?...


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> And really, how religious can the guy be if he's looking at porn that's THAT disturbing?


You'd be surprised at the people who claim they are religious, (and some actually are) that have a porn problem, Sex addictions, drinking, drug and gambling issues too! Even though they are religious, they are still human and not free from what so many people struggle with.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Well, then I'm not quite sure what to suggest, confused55...! If they won't talk about it and they can't deal with it, this will likely be the elephant in the room for as long as they live, unless the daughter sees this as something so horrendous, she estranges herself from her family.
> 
> And really, how religious can the guy be if he's looking at porn that's THAT disturbing?


'Religious' people are the same as everyone. It is a mistake to assume otherwise. That is one of the 'big lies' out there... that being 'religious' or going to church/temple/whatever somehow makes you different or less likely to get caught watching porn in the livingroom. I would argue it makes no difference whatsoever.

but please ignore me im begging you. That topic is way too touchy and I dont want to throw this thread off the rails.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

And really, how religious can the guy be if he's looking at porn that's THAT disturbing?[/QUOTE]



Extremely religious. I have found they are the worst ones.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

confused55 said:


> And really, how religious can the guy be if he's looking at porn that's THAT disturbing?




[/QUOTE]Extremely religious. *I have found they are the worst ones.*[/QUOTE]

I'm inclined to agree, the more and more I hear; bunch of hypocrites, IMO. But that's another story.


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

I wouldn't even try to convince her to go

It'll just make the whole dinner uncomfortable

She'll get over this in time...]


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

confused55 said:


> Yes, the daughter is 28.
> 
> When she walked in, she screamed and called him disgusting and he hasn't said a word about it since.
> 
> ...


Well you know what the bible says about not forgiving people...it's against it. lol


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Jamison said:


> You'd be surprised at the people who claim they are religious, (and some actually are) that have a porn problem, Sex addictions, drinking, drug and gambling issues too! Even though they are religious, *they are still human *and not free from what so many people struggle with.


I agree and perhaps if they conducted themselves more like regular humans instead of overzealous do-gooders, they'd struggle a little less with something like Dad watching porn.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> I'm inclined to agree, the more and more I hear; bunch of hypocrites, IMO. But that's another story.


And yet, there are those who truly do live what they believe... they keep all of that stuff OUT of their lives, because they believe it has NO place there.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> I agree and perhaps if they conducted themselves more like regular humans instead of overzealous do-gooders, they'd struggle a little less with something like Dad watching porn.


Hm.

I will stick with my view. I know just as many zealots of assorted kinds - religious or not. People that have strong opinions will have them, religious or not.

And its simply a mistake to cast a wide net over religious people, as a whole, as overzealous do-gooders. I know the type you describe - but I also know some very sane and normal people of faith - and after really watching people in general - I fail to believe that the normal/idiot ratio is any different in a religious population that a non-religious one. Personally - I hardly have a speck of faith in me at all - but I also dont find it so easy to judge...lest I be judged. 

Again - before this thread gets yanked intot the 'politics and religion' forum, lets keep it to the topic at hand: 

dads disturbing porn habit and what to do about it, or not.

...exit... stage left....


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> Hm.
> 
> I will stick with my view. I know just as many zealots of assorted kinds - religious or not. People that have strong opinions will have them, religious or not.
> 
> ...


Sorry, but religion was the excuse the OP gave for the family in question not being able to address the issue. Maybe the poor guy should beg forgiveness from the lord almighty before his balls catch fire.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> And yet, there are those who truly do live what they believe... *they keep all of that stuff OUT of their lives, because they believe it has NO place there*.


I find that admirable and respectful!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

LOL. sounds like a blessing in disguise. 

hes an adult male breaking no laws he should say I don't care what you think if you don't like it leave. but don't come asking me for money to help with anything .


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> LOL. sounds like a blessing in disguise. hes an adult male breaking no laws he should say I don't care what you think if you don't like it leave. but don't come asking me for money to help with anything .


Yeah - breaking no laws but acting like a pig and getting caught with his pants around his ankles by his daugter. Most people wouldnt say 'i dont care what you think'.

You can spin that into the moral high ground I suppose... if you are screwed up enough. If anything - daddy-dearest-chicken-choker would be the one appologizing to everyone in the house. 

WTF does money have to do with anything?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Yeah - breaking no laws but acting like a pig and getting caught with his pants around his ankles *in his own house*by his daugter. Most people wouldnt say 'i dont care what you think'.
> 
> You can spin that into the moral high ground I suppose... if you are screwed up enough. If anything - daddy-dearest-chicken-choker would be the one appologizing to everyone in the house.
> 
> WTF does money have to do with anything?


Fixed it for you.

By the way, when you say "everyone in the house" I assume you mean his wife who actually lives there, not the daughter barging in unannounced and passing judgement on what she sees. If that is the case, I agree. He should talk with his wife and apologize. But he owes nothing to the daughter. She should apologize to him actually.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

IF they are as religious as they claim and read the bible, then he has no business watching porn anyway. Also, if they are as religious as they claim then the daughter has every right to feel the way she does on this issue. If they are as religious as they claim, then yes they should be able to talk about it and pray about it. However, if they feel they can't and the disgust and embarrassment override prayer then it seems it goes way beyond that of religion. Deeper issues are at work.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This whole thread reminds me of the Jack in the Box commercial where Jack is visiting his parents and his dad walks into the room (not noticing that Jack is there) and says "call the doctor it's been over 4 hours" lol.

Jack in the Box commercial "Jack Visits" - YouTube


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Fixed it for you.
> 
> By the way, when you say "everyone in the house" I assume you mean his wife who actually lives there, *not the daughter barging in unannounced *and passing judgement on what she sees. If that is the case, I agree. He should talk with his wife and apologize. But he owes nothing to the daughter. She should apologize to him actually.





confused55 said:


> The daughter doesn't live with them. * She was just over visiting and I guess he didn't hear her walking down the stairs, so he didn't have time to change the channel.*


I would think he knew his daughter was there already...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If that's true, then it would seem that dear old dad is not playing with a full deck.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I'm confused. The OP has said only that he was watching porn.  Others have assumed he was engaged with more than his eyes. Clarification?


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Fixed it for you.
> 
> By the way, when you say "everyone in the house" I assume you mean his wife who actually lives there, not the daughter barging in unannounced and passing judgement on what she sees. If that is the case, I agree. He should talk with his wife and apologize. But he owes nothing to the daughter. She should apologize to him actually.


laugh.

Nobody said 'barging in unannounced', and nobody said 'passing judgement' - you are injecting your ideas there. Maybe a normal visit, where the daughter isnt expected to 'knock'. I dont knock at my parents house either - otr they say "Why the eff are you knocking???!" He got bagged. She.. the 28 year old... freaked out. That is the entire story.

I bet he gets plenty of 'fair warning' now. Phone call. Knocking and ringing the bell - whistling in the hallway. You know how hikers wear bells on their shoe laces to alert bears in the woods.

Hand sanitizer after shaking hands. 

like I said in my first post. 'ugh'. having the obvious right to masturbate in your own house does not erase the very real scenery of your dad jacking off to something you find disturbing.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> I'm confused. The OP has said only that he was watching porn. Others have assumed he was engaged with more than his eyes. Clarification?


All the OP has said is that he was watching porn...hard core porn, if I remember correctly. As far as "only watching porn", some get disgusted by it. The daughter AND the mother both are, from my understanding, disgusted that he was watching it. He claims to be very religious. The family all is supposed to be religious.


Think I summed it up, right?


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Theres got to be more to this


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

This made me laugh... 28 year old daughter discovers her father is a sexual being... Shocking... Should be in the newspapers... 

Now tell me, if she had caught her mom playing with a vibrating willy would she run to her father and blabber about it? Holy crap...


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> laugh.
> 
> Nobody said 'barging in unannounced', and nobody said 'passing judgement' - you are injecting your ideas there. Maybe a normal visit, where the daughter isnt expected to 'knock'. I dont knock at my parents house either - otr they say "Why the eff are you knocking???!" He got bagged. She.. the 28 year old... freaked out. That is the entire story.
> 
> ...



:rofl: Jacking off period, I daresay! :rofl:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

costa200 said:


> This made me laugh... 28 year old daughter discovers her father is a sexual being... Shocking... Should be in the newspapers...
> 
> Now tell me, if she had caught her mom playing with a vibrating willy would she run to her father and blabber about it? Holy crap...


I'm sorry but this is a tad more than just discovering that your father is a sexual being...finding magazines stashed in the basement is discovering your father is a sexual being. Walking in on him (possibly) mid-yank is just a whole other dimension, IMHO...


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

And I don't know about the rest of you, but when I engage in such activities, solo or partnered, I ensure that doors are locked, shades are pulled, etc. The last thing I want is to be interupted.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> And I don't know about the rest of you, but when I engage in such activities, solo or partnered, I ensure that doors are locked, shades are pulled, etc. The last thing I want is to be interupted.


Usually when showering, both our bathroom door and our bedroom doors are closed. But yesterday my wife got into the shower and then I walked into the bedroom (leaving the door open) and then into the bathroom (leaving the door open). When I got into the bathroom she said "Are you going to join me"? So I walked closer to the shower and said "the doors are open and J*** (our 15 year old son) is in the living room". Anyway, I was in the middle of something and declined. At that point I walked out into the hallway and J*** was standing there with the deer in the headlights look. I said "what"? (feigning innocence) and he said "are you going to join me"? And then said we were disturbing. All I could do was laugh. My wife was a bit embarrassed though. lol


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

costa200 said:


> This made me laugh... 28 year old daughter discovers her father is a sexual being... Shocking... Should be in the newspapers...
> 
> *Now tell me, if she had caught her mom playing with a vibrating willy would she run to her father and blabber about it?* Holy crap...


Probably not, but if the 31 year old son had walked in on that, HE might have gone to dad about it...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Usually when showering, both our bathroom door and our bedroom doors are closed. But yesterday my wife got into the shower and then I walked into the bedroom (leaving the door open) and then into the bathroom (leaving the door open). When I got into the bathroom she said "Are you going to join me"? So I walked closer to the shower and said "the doors are open and J*** (our 15 year old son) is in the living room". Anyway, I was in the middle of something and declined. At that point I walked out into the hallway and J*** was standing there with the deer in the headlights look. I said "what"? (feigning innocence) and he said "are you going to join me"? And then said we were disturbing. All I could do was laugh. My wife was a bit embarrassed though. lol


Ehh coulda used the water conservation excuse...
or asked him how HE came into being...


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Usually when showering, both our bathroom door and our bedroom doors are closed. But yesterday my wife got into the shower and then I walked into the bedroom (leaving the door open) and then into the bathroom (leaving the door open). When I got into the bathroom she said "Are you going to join me"? So I walked closer to the shower and said "the doors are open and J*** (our 15 year old son) is in the living room". Anyway, I was in the middle of something and declined. At that point I walked out into the hallway and J*** was standing there with the deer in the headlights look. I said "what"? (feigning innocence) and he said "are you going to join me"? And then said we were disturbing. All I could do was laugh. My wife was a bit embarrassed though. lol


I can relate more to stuff like this, which has happened to me, than to the OPs story...this is cute! Nothing about THAT was cute....gag.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Probably not, but if the 31 year old son had walked in on that, HE might have gone to dad about it...


No he wouldn't... I know i wouldn't... I would probably dig out my eyes with a spoon though...


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

confused55 said:


> When she walked in, she screamed and called him disgusting and he hasn't said a word about it since.
> 
> ....
> 
> This is a VERY religious family also.


It is the first part, not the very religious part that I think has many here jumping to conclusions: "she screamed"... I am making the same assumption. That is to assume that he was doing more than just watching. 

I am more concerned about the wife's attitude toward this situation than the daughters. The wife will not talk to him? I don't find this to be a healthy attitude. The only real and meaningful meeting that needs to take place here is between the H and W. If the daughter continues to have issues, that is her problem. This is still her dad and needs to respect the fact that he raised and supported her to this point and that yea, he happens to be human. 

What do I know, I never understood the Victorian sexually repressive culture. But, then again most porn is closer to humor than it is stimulating.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Usually when showering, both our bathroom door and our bedroom doors are closed. But yesterday my wife got into the shower and then I walked into the bedroom (leaving the door open) and then into the bathroom (leaving the door open). When I got into the bathroom she said "Are you going to join me"? So I walked closer to the shower and said "the doors are open and J*** (our 15 year old son) is in the living room". Anyway, I was in the middle of something and declined. At that point I walked out into the hallway and J*** was standing there with the deer in the headlights look. I said "what"? (feigning innocence) and he said "are you going to join me"? And then said we were disturbing. All I could do was laugh. My wife was a bit embarrassed though. lol


laugh!

Too funny.

'yes, son. Sometimes, we ARE disturbing.'


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> I can relate more to stuff like this, which has happened to me, than to the OPs story...this is cute! Nothing about THAT was cute....gag.


Right! My daughter (age 6 in a couple weeks), said to me one day "mom, when you and dad wanna be alone in your room, lock the door!"..I said "J******, when mom and dad are in the bedroom together, alone, do we shut the door sometimes? (she answered yes) And, when we DO shut the door, that means to knock, right? (again, yes) Ok, then, that means you do NOT barge in!" She couldn't argue with that logic...not at 6. I bet she will be able to at age 16 tho! :rofl::rofl:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

costa200 said:


> No he wouldn't... I know i wouldn't... I would probably dig out my eyes with a spoon though...


Ahhhh, but Costa, you already admit that you are not religious... a very religious man is more likely to do so.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Ahhhh, but Costa, you already admit that you are not religious... a very religious man is more likely to do so.


Is there a bible passage to advise you to tell your dad about your mother's toys? 

If so, that's a very cruel side of religion!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Is there a bible passage to advise you to tell your dad about your mother's toys?
> 
> If so, that's a very cruel side of religion!


No way in hell would I talk to my dad about it. I would probably tell my brother though.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Is there a bible passage to advise you to tell your dad about your mother's toys?
> 
> If so, that's a very cruel side of religion!


Does this qualify:
"...and you may be sure that your sin will find you out" Numbers 32:23

Also, I would likely think that the very religious view this:
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matt. 5:28
for reason not to view porn... Just a guess anyway...


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

Okay, since some of you think this thread is kind of amusing, I'll tell you a bit more about it.

The daughter was upstairs baking with her mother. They have a large house and the father would have no reason to think someone would be going downstairs. The daughter needed to go downstairs to get something out of the freezer for the baking they were doing. Maybe he was so engrosed in the movie, he didn't hear her. She had no reason to announce she was descending the stairs. I don't think he was choking the chicken or at least she didn't see that.

This man has never had a drink, drug, coffee or coke in his life. He only starting wearing jeans lately, only dress pants before that.

The only thing he does is swear sometimes. 

I don't know how my friend is going to deal with it all, she doesn't really want to say except that "these men are disgusting" and I have to say I agree.

Part of it was also that the man was in his 50's in the movie and the girl no older than 21ish.

If any of you are fathers of daughters over the age of 16 out there, how would you feel in this situation.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

confused55 said:


> This man has never had a drink, drug, coffee or coke in his life.


Mormon.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Mormon.


YES


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

trey69 said:


> IF they are as religious as they claim and read the bible, then he has no business watching porn anyway. Also, if they are as religious as they claim then the daughter has every right to feel the way she does on this issue. If they are as religious as they claim, then yes they should be able to talk about it and pray about it. However, if they feel they can't and the disgust and embarrassment override prayer then it seems it goes way beyond that of religion. Deeper issues are at work.


:iagree:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

So it's the older man/younger woman thing that's bothering them? The way you made it sound earlier, I figured he was watching a snuff film or something.

I don't know what to say...if that's all it is...they'll get over it. The truth is, not many men are going to be watching porn with older women in it; and I mean regular, non-surgical women who are over the age of 50. Does it even exist?

I don't like the idea of my H getting off watching some girl young enough for him to have fathered...but then, I'm sure he doesn't like plenty of the things I've actually done IRL. Trade-off.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Does it even exist?


Yes, it exists. Sometimes it's an older woman with a young guy (mother/son fetish) and sometimes it's more the homemade swinger porn.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Mormon.


Tho OP confirmed, this could just as easily have been an Adventist.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I didn't know Adventist didn't use caffeine.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> Tho OP confirmed, this could just as easily have been an Adventist.


Or buddhist or... well, you get the idea....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I didn't know Adventist didn't use caffeine.


Yea... my family is a group of BAD Adventists :rofl:

As a general rule, no, we are not supposed to...along with the others mentioned above, and a few more which you are probably familiar with...

Anyway, back to the topic at hand... I would probably freak, not just about the porn viewing in general, but the older man/woman young enough to be his kid would definitely be worse IMO... of course, I think I would need eye bleach if I ever saw my dad masturbating anyway... oh blech... =/


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Mormon.


whats his other wives say about it.


really are you kidding me this is the religion thats tricks women into thinking they can't get to heaven unless their married thats why men can have more than 1 wife.

new flash to all women guys like to masterbate and theres nothing wrong with it!

I don't think he was the smartest tool in the shed beating the meat with the wife and daughter upstairs baking but get over it!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> whats his other wives say about it.
> 
> 
> really are you kidding me this is the religion thats tricks women into thinking they can't get to heaven unless their married thats why men can have more than 1 wife.
> ...


thats not amied at you working ....just using the morman quote!


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Was she bought up in a house being told that porn ect was a discusting act, sin ect?
Could the problem be that 'dad' is being judged now he's doing the exact thing he and her mum raised her was disgusting.
Have no clue but it's a possibility.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

confused55 said:


> YES


So aren't like elders in the church that can help? Seems like your friend should try that route to deal with this situation.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Okay, I gotta say... I once caught my real dad getting it on with a sock when I was about 10. If he had been more involved in my life he might have known that I always got up in the middle of the night. (Lifelong insomnia). Well, he didn't, or didn't care because he was in the living room watching some late night dirty movie. Keep in mind, he did this knowing that his wife and four young children were literally just inches away from him. (One of the bedrooms branched off directly from the living room). 

If other people are in the house, why not go to the bathroom, or at least lock the door?? Unless you WANT to be caught?!?!

Not a memory I wanted to remember, but I couldn't NOT look at this thread. In this case, however, it seems as though the hypocrisy of the issue is more disturbing than the act? I may have misunderstood, but hey... God-fearing people do preach a lot about forgiveness... So there you go! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

A sock????? Ewww.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

On the couches his children played on everyday.

Excuse me while I throw up and slash my wrists. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> A sock????? Ewww.


I never understood the 'sock' thing... and I see the reference all the time. I must be exceedingly obtuse or something - for the love of Pete... what is the attraction?

Sheesh.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Yes, it exists. Sometimes it's an older woman with a young guy (mother/son fetish) and sometimes it's more the homemade swinger porn.


Bleh. That would explain why I've never seen it; I tend to shy away from that mother/son stuff.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

I think everyone (daughter, Mom, Dad) are more embarrassed than disgusted.

My non-religious, open-minded, college-educated, sexually active adult daughters don't want to see Daddy watching porn...........I asked LOL


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Emerald said:


> I think everyone (daughter, Mom, Dad) are more embarrassed than disgusted.
> 
> My non-religious, open-minded, college-educated, sexually active adult daughters don't want to see Daddy watching porn...........I asked LOL


Let's face it what child, even an adult child wants to imagine their parents doing anything sexual. My parents only did it 4 times


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## wifeofhusband (Oct 13, 2011)

If she's disgusted and upset it's possibly because what she walked in on goes directly against what her father/mother have taught her about sex and what is acceptable and what is not. It must be a shock if your parents have always taught you that sex is for marriage only and porn is bad and sex is sacred, etc, and then find them doing something opposite to what they have always taught. I see why that would be upsetting to the daughter. This is speculation and assuming her parents taught her along those lines so maybe wrong but possible. I'm sure she'll get over it in time. I think it should be talked about rather than being the elephant in the room.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

costa200 said:


> This made me laugh... 28 year old daughter discovers her father is a sexual being... Shocking... Should be in the newspapers...
> 
> *Now tell me, if she had caught her mom playing with a vibrating willy would she run to her father and blabber about it? Holy crap...*


:iagree:
........and mom surely wouldn't be fantasizing about some 50 yr old man whilst using her " rabbit."


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Part of it was also that the man was in his 50's in the movie and the girl no older than 21ish.


ROFL... So you think just because a guy is in his 50 he will be looking at porn with 50 year old women? 

Sorry, doesn't work like that. Most women peak their sexual attractiveness around 20ish of age. Most guys look for that in pornstars. In fact, the only guys who seek older looking females for their porn are usually sexually dysfunctional with mummy issues.

I thought you were going to say some weird crap like bestiality or something. Dude was just looking at vanilla porn. Give him a freakin break...


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Hard core porn can be very disturbing. 

I personally wouldn't like to think of any of the important men in my life watching it. I guess I hold the men in my life to high standards and like them to have good morals and integrity.

It's not about your parents being sexual, it's about the disrespect of women in porn. It's about viewing someone who you thought actually valued women, as now someone who sees women as being commodities or worse, non people, who exist purely for their own sexual gratification.

I am surprised that people try to shame women for being shocked or angry about something that does disturb many people and uses women in such a fashion. I think it's because they know that if they didn't shame them and try to make women and non porn supporters down, then they might have to face the fact that they are contributing to something that is really awful.

JMO


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> I personally wouldn't like to think of any of the important men in my life watching it. I guess I hold the men in my life to high standards and like them to have good morals and integrity.


You would do good to prepare for the fact that possibly all the men you think have "good morals and integrity" have looked at porn one way or the other. And quite possibly many of the women looked at some sort of porn too. 

Personally i don't know a single man who hasn't looked at it. You must live in a very special place!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

"Most women peak their sexual attractiveness around 20ish of age."

Sorry. Nope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> "Most women peak their sexual attractiveness around 20ish of age."
> 
> Sorry. Nope.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Every beauty contest, every online voting, every men's magazine (except perhaps some specialized ones) agree that early 20s women are better looking. Men who disagree are a very small minority.

Even women spend fortunes trying to look 20. So, statistically i don't see a possible argument. You may disagree, but you're de odd one off.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

costa200 said:


> Every beauty contest, every online voting, every men's magazine (except perhaps some specialized ones) agree that early 20s women are better looking. Men who disagree are a very small minority.
> 
> Even women spend fortunes trying to look 20. So, statistically i don't see a possible argument. You may disagree, but you're de odd one off.


Maxim must be a "special" magazine then. They featured Monica Bellucci, Famke Jansen, Sophia Vergara, Sophie Marceau and Gong Li in the last 3 years, all 41 or older. Also Halle Berry is 43. All over the hill and thus ugly. You kill me Costa. Instead of speaking for all men, just speak for yourself because my husband thinks the women I mentioned are hot as hell. He must be a "small minority".


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Hard core porn can be very disturbing.
> 
> I personally wouldn't like to think of any of the important men in my life watching it. I guess I hold the men in my life to high standards and like them to have good morals and integrity.
> 
> ...


Honestly, I don't give a sh!t about those women being degraded or devalued; they CHOSE what they do for a living. Many of them made sure to actually ENHANCE themselves to make that living. I'll save my pity for those who actually deserve it. As for the men who watch? That's their choice as well.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

costa200 said:


> Every beauty contest, every online voting, every men's magazine (except perhaps some specialized ones) agree that early 20s women are better looking. Men who disagree are a very small minority.
> 
> Even women spend fortunes trying to look 20. So, statistically i don't see a possible argument. You may disagree, but you're de odd one off.


Sorry again... that just the demographic those groups (online voting, beauty contests.._some_ magazines) are targeted at.

Oh... and 'axe' body wash commercials.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

is porn as now everyday as eating cornflakes??


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Sorry but I think the early 20 somethings of today are classless,mostly skanky,and complete airheads. There are exceptions of course as with everything.

I can't see "every" men's magazine,beauty contests,online voting saying these early 20 somethings are better looking than the classy intelligent beautiful women in their 30's,40's,50's and up.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Sorry but I think the early 20 somethings of today are classless,mostly skanky,and complete airheads. There are exceptions of course as with everything.


I think every generation thinks the same thing.

I think most of it is that each generation is different. Not necesssarily 'worse' but different and the preceeding generation just cant relate. They seem 'strange' and incomprehensible. We all have our issues - and not just because of sweeping generational trends.

Frankly I think the current generation of youngsters is, yes, damaged in some ways and attention challenged - but you know what? They are also more giving and generous with their time than the narcissistic baby boomers. The Gen Xers are entitled slackers - but also were the fist to generaly have high acceptance of racial/cultural/sexual differences. The 'greatest generation' were dedicated workers, non-complainers but also damaged and repressed in my view - unable to speak truth to authority.

Its all good - people are people - and I think it helpful to notice what makes people good and valuable as well as pointing and laughing at their faults. And my own - I have plenty, though I cant think of any at the moment.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> I think every generation thinks the same thing.


I'm only 30.when i was in my twenties,i thought the same thing as I do now about girls in their twenties.Look around,girls are becoming really disgusting and they think it's cute.I pray this isn't the new definition of what sexy and beautiful is now.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm only 30.when i was in my twenties,i thought the same thing as I do now about girls in their twenties.Look around,girls are becoming really disgusting and they think it's cute.I pray this isn't the new definition of what sexy and beautiful is now.


I agree, a lot of the girls now, dress and act like, "look at me I'm hot!" But what I see is, "Look at me I want attention and and I'm desperate!" And some guys pick up on that, and use that to their advantage.

I'm not saying things like that didn't happen or girls weren't like that when I was a teen or in my early 20's, BUT for some reason I see it more now.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Sorry but I think the early 20 somethings of today are classless,mostly skanky,and complete airheads. There are exceptions of course as with everything.
> 
> I can't see *"every" men's magazine*,beauty contests,online voting saying these early 20 somethings are better looking than the classy intelligent beautiful women in their 30's,40's,50's and up.


Perhaps whoever said the above, was just stating their own personal preferences. Which is fine, but I happen to agree with you on the classless-skanky part in the majority of cases.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm only 30.when i was in my twenties,i thought the same thing as I do now about girls in their twenties.Look around,girls are becoming really disgusting and they think it's cute.I pray this isn't the new definition of what sexy and beautiful is now.


One of my sons is 20 and he thinks the young girls today are disgusting (and no, not the gay son before any of you smartarses ask  ).


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Hard core porn can be very disturbing.
> 
> I personally wouldn't like to think of any of the important men in my life watching it. I guess I hold the men in my life to high standards and like them to have good morals and integrity.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

costa200 said:


> You would do good to prepare for the fact that possibly all the men you think have "good morals and integrity" have looked at porn one way or the other. And quite possibly many of the women looked at some sort of porn too.
> 
> Personally i don't know a single man who hasn't looked at it. You must live in a very special place!


"Everyone's doing it" does not justify something that is wrong.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'm only 30.when i was in my twenties,i thought the same thing as I do now about girls in their twenties.Look around,girls are becoming really disgusting and they think it's cute.I pray this isn't the new definition of what sexy and beautiful is now.


I admit, I reluctantly agree. Im pushing 50 and I have kids that are nearing 10 years old. When I see what the 12-13 year old kids are up to - how they dress, how they act - it is very worrying. Cripes Selena Gomes prances around on stage like a $1ut and let me tell you - my girls are very smart. They dont miss a step - and they know what gets attention even at that horribly tender, supposedly innocent age. We discuss what modesty and decorum means and how it different from being uptight or repressed.

Makes me realize how important parenting is when they are _young_ because you know what? By the time they are 15 its going to be too late to teach them anything. Blink and they are 5, blink again and they are 12, blink a third time and they are asking for the keys to the car so they can go party at their friends "snake's" because his parents are in bermuda.

(sigh)

sorry. _Off topic again_.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

AG, stop apologizing for going off topic; fun and natural conversations are rarely about one topic ONLY. This thread has been great!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> AG, stop apologizing for going off topic; fun and natural conversations are rarely about one topic ONLY. This thread has been great!


I agree! And really, AG, it isn't THAT far off topic anyway. It still ties in to the values that the OP's friend likely insitilled in her daughter, etc...


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

I'm finding this thread highly entertaining. It's interesting to see the difference in comments from the women and men.

I haven't spoken to my friend for a couple of days, but I'm going to contact her again today and see how things are going over at her house.

Men just have to start having more respect for women, and porn breaks that down.

Looking at pics of naked women is one thing, but some of this stuff, ugh!


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Wow this makes me proud of my daughter. She did not catch me watching it but evidently I left something open or she found the remnant of something. She asked me if it was mine and I said it was. We had a very healthy discussion about it. She told me she has watched porn since she was a young teen and does not want to any longer. It has helped both of us curtail this greatly. I honestly see it as a waste of time and feel I will get to the point where I will not watch it at all.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

confused55 said:


> Men just have to start having more respect for women, and porn breaks that down.


Disagree. Im going to, sort of, and sadly, use the 'guns dont kill people, people kill people' argument. If you are a jerk and a goober and a moron and have 'issues' and have no respect for women - I say it is not because of porn - it is because you are an a$$ and a self-aggrandizing, small d1cked coward. You can say that porn is an enabler (like alcohol to an alcoholic) - but knuckle dragers and troglodytes will exist even if all the porn in the world was made to go away. I guess.



confused55 said:


> Looking at pics of naked women is one thing, but some of this stuff, ugh!


I do agree there. I think its a tricky subject to start casting judgement on peoples fantasies though - and its never easy especially when 'is it crossing the line?' suddenly becomes part of the conversation. Shame comes with its own cost too.

Its a little easier when 'yeah - he dove head first over 'the line' without even gancing at it.'

Thank god I'm not in charge.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

I saw a quote in an article about porn a little while ago. The advice was "live your life like you are in a reality show and anyone can watch it" and your behaviour will improve.

If you are ok with everyone knowing you look at porn, then fine, if not, then don't.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

confused55 said:


> I saw a quote in an article about porn a little while ago. The advice was "live your life like you are in a reality show and anyone can watch it" and your behaviour will improve.
> 
> If you are ok with everyone knowing you look at porn, then fine, if not, then don't.


I think, at least some parts of my life are supposed to be private.
Away from prying eyes.

Only my wife knows my passwords to my internet banking.
Only my wife knows my sexual fantasies.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> I think, at least some parts of my life are supposed to be private.
> Away from prying eyes.


Yes but the sentiment I think is a good one. Private does not equate to the freedom to behave like a reprehensible pig. Self respect is important too - as is how much of your life is 'secret' or not.

I dont equate all porn, and watching it, to behaving like a reprehensible pig.

There is that tricky 'line' to cross again.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Yes but the sentiment I think is a good one. Private does not equate to the freedom to behave like a reprehensible pig. *Self respect is important too*.


:iagree:.......is the most important thing IMO.
And regarding the " behaving like a reprehensible pig " part, you know what they say about interpretation......


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> I do agree there. I think its a tricky subject to start casting judgement on peoples fantasies though - and its never easy especially when 'is it crossing the line?' suddenly becomes part of the conversation. Shame comes with its own cost too.


Really, what it all boils down to is whatever is acceptable to YOU. If it works for YOU in YOUR relationship, that's cool. But if it doesn't work for another couple, that's ok too. There is NOTHING wrong with it if it is ok with your spouse, if you respect your spouse's feelings.

But that's my opinion...and that is a collective "you" not singular.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Now I have another clarification to ask.

The discussion has turned, in part, on the distaste of some for "hardcore" porn. The OP actually used the term "very hardcore."

I'm not sure we all have the same definition of "hardcore." There is, no doubt, porn that depicts explicit sexual acts in a way that is demeaning to women. There is also, believe it or not, porn that depicts explicit sexual acts in a way that is not demeaning to anyone. (Unlike much "softcore" or nonexplicit porn that DOES demean women.) In fact, "couples porn" is an emerging genre.

Do folks here who dislike "hardcore" condemn anything explicit, no matter whether demeaning to women or not?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> Now I have another clarification to ask.
> 
> The discussion has turned, in part, on the distaste of some for "hardcore" porn. The OP actually used the term "very hardcore."
> 
> ...


^^^^^^^
"Threin lies the rub."
Some would tell you that any portrayal of women without clothes for public consumption is demeaning to women.
[ Somehow the portrayal of naked men appears not to be demeaning to men. ]

Others will be more tolerant and say that softcore is ok.

Then there are women who actually like hardcore porn.
Everyone has their own personal values.

That's what I meant when I hinted about " interpretation" in my above post.
Its a tricky balancing act.
But I believe that every couple / family should have their own set of values which they live by .


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

For some reason I couldn't help but think, maybe part of the father wanted to get caught..I know that might sound odd..but who knows maybe he has a problem and thought if someone found out they could help him address the issue because he couldn't on his own...

I mean even if the man didn't suspect or hear his daughter coming down the stairs, he was still sitting in a room out in the open watching some hard core porn with people awake in the house,..if he really wanted to be secretive he could have watched it when no one was home or at least asleep maybe...So either he wanted to get caught or, he simply is so far into the porn thing he just doesn't care really...but if no one is gonna talk about it, and tip toe around the issue..then nothing will get resolved anyway. Just my 2 cents.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Good question. What is hardcore to you? I was always under the impression that hardcore is porn that shows everything; doesn't necessarily have to be violent. Soft porn is nudity, depiction of sex acts without seeing penetration, etc. Isn't it?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

AgentD said:


> For some reason I couldn't help but think, maybe part of the father wanted to get caught..I know that might sound odd..but who knows maybe he has a problem and thought if someone found out they could help him address the issue because he couldn't on his own...
> 
> I mean even if the man didn't suspect or hear his daughter coming down the stairs, he was still sitting in a room out in the open watching some hard core porn with people awake in the house,..if he really wanted to be secretive he could have watched it when no one was home or at least asleep maybe...So either he wanted to get caught or, he simply is so far into the porn thing he just doesn't care really...but if no one is gonna talk about it, and tip toe around the issue..then nothing will get resolved anyway. Just my 2 cents.


When my nephew ran up to confess to his parents about his porn, he did so because he was convinced that I was going to tell them (I'd had no idea anyway, so couldn't have told them if I wanted to!). Maybe he wanted to 'get caught' too. Ultra religious family, too...


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

CandieGirl said:


> Good question. What is hardcore to you? I was always under the impression that hardcore is porn that shows everything; doesn't necessarily have to be violent. Soft porn is nudity, depiction of sex acts without seeing penetration, etc. Isn't it?


When I think of hard core, I think of gang bangs, beastiality, rape scenes, etc. But, some might not see that as hard core.

This might not be hard core, but more along the lines of just gross, and thats older men, like in their 50's or older with girls that look like youngins'.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

It was the man pulling the girls hair forcing her to perform a bj while saying demeaning things to her.

To me, that's hardcore.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

would it have been less traumatic if it was "just" some cable porn?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> Now I have another clarification to ask.
> 
> The discussion has turned, in part, on the distaste of some for "hardcore" porn. The OP actually used the term "very hardcore."
> 
> ...


My personal opinion? If it is porn, I won't watch it. I have zero interest in watching people having sex, with the exception of MAYBE my husband and myself. There have been times when we have fast forwarded through sex scenes in movies, even. So, yes, I do dislike all "levels" of porn, not just hardcore.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

anotherguy said:


> I never understood the 'sock' thing... and I see the reference all the time. I must be exceedingly obtuse or something - for the love of Pete... what is the attraction?
> 
> Sheesh.


I wouldn't say "attraction"...I'd say "convenience."

I'll admit...as a teenager, I used a spare sock for a while. (Not a dirty one...well...not in the sense if having been worn.) At the time, I had no concept of a "sleeve," but it worked as a makeshift one. It also served to make for less of a mess to clean up. Less obvious, too...a random sock on the floor of the average teenage boy's room doesn't look out of place, while a rapidly growing pile of tissue in the trash can might prompt a trip to the doctor. ("You've gone through 25 boxes of Kleenex in the past two weeks! You must be sick!") A quick toss into the laundry and all is good.

Haven't since moving out during college, but it made perfect sense at the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

confused55 said:


> It was the man pulling the girls hair forcing her to perform a bj while saying demeaning things to her.
> 
> To me, that's hardcore.


Just a question.
When you describe the hair pulling and name calling BJ scene
as " hardcore",
Do you mean that its offensive , and that people should not participate in those type of sex acts?

If so, what makes it offensive in your opinion?

Are you totally against the idea of any type of porn , or are these some categories that you think may be acceptable / less offensive?


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Maxim must be a "special" magazine then. They featured Monica Bellucci, Famke Jansen, Sophia Vergara, Sophie Marceau and Gong Li in the last 3 years, all 41 or older. Also Halle Berry is 43. All over the hill and thus ugly. You kill me Costa. Instead of speaking for all men, just speak for yourself because my husband thinks the women I mentioned are hot as hell. He must be a "small minority".


Maybe a little from "column A" and a little from "column B." Generally speaking, since Maxim's target audience is 20-something bachelors, features like you mention have, at the very least, an undercurrent of, "They may be over 40, but they're *still* hot!" That was the same approach taken with Jenny McCarthy's recent reappearance in Playboy, as well. I'm not disputing the attractiveness of the ladies we've mentioned (whether they're all my "type" or not), just that they're the proverbial exception to the models/actresses normally featured.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Grayson said:


> I wouldn't say "attraction"...I'd say "convenience."
> 
> I'll admit...as a teenager, I used a spare sock for a while. (Not a dirty one...well...not in the sense if having been worn.) At the time, I had no concept of a "sleeve," but it worked as a makeshift one. It also served to make for less of a mess to clean up. Less obvious, too...a random sock on the floor of the average teenage boy's room doesn't look out of place, while a rapidly growing pile of tissue in the trash can might prompt a trip to the doctor. ("You've gone through 25 boxes of Kleenex in the past two weeks! You must be sick!") A quick toss into the laundry and all is good.
> 
> ...


...TMI...


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

TMI is the very definition of the elements of a teenaged boy's life. ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> ...TMI...


Does TMI really exist in the Sex forum?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

confused55 said:


> I don't know if this is for the Sex in Marriage section or not, but I will try.
> 
> My best friend's daughter (aged 28) walked into the TV room and saw her father watching some very hard core porn.
> 
> ...


Tell her to get the **** over it. She's damn near 30, and it's totally her problem if she can't see the elders in her life as sexual beings. Hell one of my best friends took porn tapes from his GRANDMOTHER'S stash. What her father watches on his time, and what his sexual desires are, are none of her damn business.

She needs to grow up, and that's what he should tell her ass.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

jaquen said:


> Tell her to get the **** over it. She's damn near 30, and it's totally her problem if she can't see the elders in her life as sexual beings. Hell one of my best friends took porn tapes from his GRANDMOTHER'S stash. What her father watches on his time, and what his sexual desires are, are none of her damn business.
> 
> She needs to grow up, and that's what he should tell her ass.


Just wondering, do you have daughters, live in Arkansas?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> Tell her to get the **** over it. She's damn near 30, and it's totally her problem if she can't see the elders in her life as sexual beings. Hell one of my best friends took porn tapes from his GRANDMOTHER'S stash. What her father watches on his time, and what his sexual desires are, are none of her damn business.
> 
> She needs to grow up, and that's what he should tell her ass.


Really? I would think the father needs to grow the hell up and not watch porn in plain view of his kids. That isn't being a sexual being, that's being a complete pervert with boundary issues. There is a time and a place for everything. Clearly he doesn't understand this.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

confused55 said:


> Just wondering, do you have daughters, live in Arkansas?


What does his address have to do with anything?


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Really? I would think the father needs to grow the hell up and not watch porn in plain view of his kids. That isn't being a sexual being, that's being a complete pervert with boundary issues. There is a time and a place for everything. Clearly he doesn't understand this.


Have you read the prior posts? He was "down stairs" thinking he was alone.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Really? I would think the father needs to grow the hell up and not watch porn in plain view of his kids. That isn't being a sexual being, that's being a complete pervert with boundary issues. There is a time and a place for everything. Clearly he doesn't understand this.


I agree with this. But I only agree because he knew she was in the house already. Which makes him a dumb ass. Otherwise I'd say, alone in your own house IS the time and place.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Really? I would think the father needs to grow the hell up and not watch porn in plain view of his kids. That isn't being a sexual being, that's being a complete pervert with boundary issues. There is a time and a place for everything. Clearly he doesn't understand this.


It's his house. He can watch porn wherever the hell he chooses to in HIS HOUSE. It was already made clear in further posts that they have a large house, and there wasn't reason for this man to suspect that she'd enter into this section of the house at that given time.

Bottom line this is none of her damn business. She's a grown ass woman. If she can't handle the fact that her father watches porn, then she needs to excuse herself from those living quarters and move on with her life.

I can not believe anybody is seriously suggesting otherwise. I hope this man doesn't justify jack crap to this spoiled brat. I am flabbergasted that a single person in this thread thinks this man owes her an explanation, or needed to do anything different. He thought he was alone in a room in HIS HOUSE, and he decided to watch some porn. So the hell what an accidental discovery happened; that's part of life. The fact however that his daughter has taken this as some personal mark against her person, and refuses to even talk to her dad, is HER problem.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> It's his house. He can watch porn wherever the hell he chooses to in HIS HOUSE. It was already made clear in further posts that they have a large house, and there wasn't reason for this man to suspect that she'd enter into this section of the house at that given time.
> 
> Bottom line this is none of her damn business. She's a grown ass woman. If she can't handle the fact that her father watches porn, then she needs to excuse herself from those living quarters and move on with her life.
> 
> I can not believe anybody is seriously suggesting otherwise. I hope this man doesn't justify jack crap to this spoiled brat. I am flabbergasted that a single person in this thread thinks this man owes her an explanation, or needed to do anything different. He thought he was alone in a room in HIS HOUSE, and he decided to watch some porn. So the hell what an accidental discovery happened; that's part of life. The fact however that his daughter has taken this as some personal mark against her person, and refuses to even talk to her dad, is HER problem.


I don't subscribe to doing "anything" in your own house. Hell, would it be okay if I walked around naked in front of my 19 year old son and his friends because it's "my house" and he should just grow up? No. This guy should have at least waited until his kids weren't there. Are we seriously arguing this? :scratchhead:


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

it seems that everyone on this forum accepts porn as a part of normal every day life. 
This surprised me so I have asked all of my friends who I was able to contact today, and most of them find porn unacceptable or at least not the norm.
Now this could well be a skewed mini poll BUT - most of my friends are not prudish at all and I consider them to have fairly open minds. Is this a cultural thing? (I am in the large southern island). 
My 32 year old daughter is a fun loving person who is single and leads a fairly interesting life. Has lived all over the world, is tolerant of all sorts of people, but would find hard core porn and her father in the same sentence as disappointing and perhaps even disgusting. 
I am not a prude but is looking between the legs of numerous young women every day or so really an acceptable 'norm'?
Ok - I shall get ready for the lashing.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

missmolly said:


> it seems that everyone on this forum accepts porn as a part of normal every day life.
> This surprised me so I have asked all of my friends who I was able to contact today, and most of them find porn unacceptable or at least not the norm.
> Now this could well be a skewed mini poll BUT - most of my friends are not prudish at all and I consider them to have fairly open minds. Is this a cultural thing? (I am in the large southern island).
> My 32 year old daughter is a fun loving person who is single and leads a fairly interesting life. Has lived all over the world, is tolerant of all sorts of people, but would find hard core porn and her father in the same sentence as disappointing and perhaps even disgusting.
> ...


And? I bet if I asked members of the local church I could get 100% anti porn vote. And just because someone has traveled and is "tolerant" doesn't mean they don't find porn "disgusting" LOL I just don't see the connection.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> And? I bet if I asked members of the local church I could get 100% anti porn vote. And just because someone has traveled and is "tolerant" doesn't mean they don't find porn "disgusting" LOL I just don't see the connection.



Well I haven't really asked her (we live a long way apart and I don't speak with her everyday)
But a small part of me wonders if accepting porn as a normal part of life if really such a good thing. 
My husband was addicted to porn during a long bad period of our marriage (his making, despite my utmost effort to address our issues) and I see the damage it can do to people. Whilst I am not anti porn per se, I am not sure that it has a place in mainstream 'norm'. 
I would not judge my daughter harshly if she was upset to see her father watching hard core porn.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I don't subscribe to doing "anything" in your own house. Hell, would it be okay if I walked around naked in front of my 19 year old son and his friends because it's "my house" and he should just grow up? No. This guy should have at least waited until his kids weren't there. Are we seriously arguing this? :scratchhead:


No, it wouldn't be. But would you apologize to that son and his friends if he was 28 years old and walked in on you naked?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

The very first time I actually saw people having sex was not in a magazine or in a " blue movie."
I was spending time at my favorite aunt's house during the summer holidays.I was just 12 years old.
It was a large house. I came back from playing with my friends and ran upstairs towards her bedroom, like I was accustomed doing.
I called out to her but got no response,so I thought maybe she's asleep.
When I reached her bedroom,the door was open, she was on her knees,and her boyfriend doing her " doggie style." Their back was to the door.
She was mid 40's.
Of course I was shocked!
But at 12 years old,I was mature enough to know that PEOPLE WERE SEXUAL BEINGS.
She NEVER knew what I saw that day,I simply went back downstairs, crossed the road to my friend's house and continued playing.
She remained my favorite aunty till she died of cancer a age 55.
I was at her side when doctors,chemo and everything else failed. She lost all of her hair and and she eventually,
Died.
I am glad I never held that incident or anything else against her.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Maxim must be a "special" magazine then. They featured Monica Bellucci, Famke Jansen, Sophia Vergara, Sophie Marceau and Gong Li in the last 3 years, all 41 or older. Also Halle Berry is 43. All over the hill and thus ugly. You kill me Costa. Instead of speaking for all men, just speak for yourself because my husband thinks the women I mentioned are hot as hell. He must be a "small minority".


All of those women don't look their age, and usually show up in pics photoshopped to hell to look like 20 year olds. And the reason why you can point clear examples is because they are an exception. None of those women are hotter now than they were when they were in their 20s. 

And please note that i did not say that an older woman can't look fine as hell. What i am saying is that statistically women are at the peak of their beauty in their 20s. 

It's not a coincidence that erotic models are almost without exception around that age or can pass for it. I'm not "speaking for all men". I'm speaking for over 90% of them (giving you 10% of safety margin because i've never met a guy who was extremely thrilled to be banging a 40+ year old woman, yet they gloat and beam when they are doing 20 year olds). 

If you think that a guy in his 50s is going to look for porn with grannies you're mistaken. Those geezers' porn stashes almost always have young women. I know cuz when i was a young lad i went through some of them (friends dad's magazines, as there was no internet). 

What you find attractive doesn't age with you after your late teens.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I don't subscribe to doing "anything" in your own house. Hell, would it be okay if I walked around naked in front of my 19 year old son and his friends because it's "my house" and he should just grow up? No. This guy should have at least waited until his kids weren't there. Are we seriously arguing this? :scratchhead:


That depends on the person, and their own personal ethics/morality. Don't assume your inhibitions are anyone else's.

But this thread's point was not about what room the man should watch porn in. It's about a daughter who saw her dad watching porn, is disgusted by the specific type of porn he was watching, refuses to even talk to her father, and now refuses to even be in the same room with him.

She is a damn fool. She's a grown woman who is butt hurt that her father, who was a sexual being before she was a speck in his eyes, is a sexual being. It's none of her damn business, and she needs to get over it. She's reacting like she walked in on her dad sexing up the babysitter and cheating on her mom.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> No, it wouldn't be. But would you apologize to that son and his friends if he was 28 years old and walked in on you naked?


If she was dressing in the living room she might lol


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

abitlost said:


> If she was dressing in the living room she might lol


Well I walked in on my mom dressing already,
And I APOLOGIZED.
I was invading HER space in HER house.
She didn't have to apologize to me.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I do wonder how she was raised to think about porn/sex to have such a bad reaction to what happened.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

missmolly said:


> Well I haven't really asked her (we live a long way apart and I don't speak with her everyday)
> But a small part of me wonders if accepting porn as a normal part of life if really such a good thing.
> My husband was addicted to porn during a long bad period of our marriage (his making, despite my utmost effort to address our issues) and I see the damage it can do to people. Whilst I am not anti porn per se, I am not sure that it has a place in mainstream 'norm'.
> I would not judge my daughter harshly if she was upset to see her father watching hard core porn.


Every single statistic known proves that porn is already a "mainstream norm".

But good luck getting most people to admit that, especially married people.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well I walked in on my mom dressing already,
> And I APOLOGIZED.
> I was invading HER space in HER house.
> She didn't have to apologize to me.


So if you invite someone to your house decide to dress/masturbate in a communal space the person who went in to the communal space should apologize?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jaquen said:


> It's his house. He can watch porn wherever the hell he chooses to in HIS HOUSE. It was already made clear in further posts that they have a large house, and there wasn't reason for this man to suspect that she'd enter into this section of the house at that given time.


At the same time... there was no reason to suspect that she would NOT go into the living room. I would say his own bedroom would have been a smarter option if there was even the slightest possibility that someone, anyone really, COULD come in...whether expected or not.



jaquen said:


> Bottom line this is none of her damn business. She's a grown ass woman. If she can't handle the fact that her father watches porn, then she needs to excuse herself from those living quarters and move on with her life.
> 
> I can not believe anybody is seriously suggesting otherwise. I hope this man doesn't justify jack crap to this spoiled brat. I am flabbergasted that a single person in this thread thinks this man owes her an explanation, or needed to do anything different. He thought he was alone in a room in HIS HOUSE, and he decided to watch some porn. So the hell what an accidental discovery happened; that's part of life. The fact however that his daughter has taken this as some personal mark against her person, and refuses to even talk to her dad, is HER problem.


Honestly, Jaquen, I agree...to a point. It IS his business whether he watches porn or not. However, if he told his daughter (and son) all along that porn is evil, goes against their religious beliefs, etc, then the daughter has a right to be upset over this. I would feel the same way if that ever were to happen to me. I think she SHOULD talk to her dad about this. And justify his actions? Well, like I said, if this man was speaking out against the evils of porn, then yes, he should explain his hypocrisy. But that's JMO.

Under different circumstances, I would say he has no reason to explain himself. Had he been in his room, door shut (maybe locked) then yes, her walking in would have been inappropriate and he'd have no reason to explain. That the house is likely large makes no difference. It was a room open to anyone/everyone.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Sbrown said:


> No, it wouldn't be. But would you apologize to that son and his friends if he was 28 years old and walked in on you naked?


I think the difference here is intent. Hoping out of the shower and say the bedroom door came open is different than if I pranced around the house in the nude. 
The father knew his daughter was home and decided to watch it anyways. That to me is vastly different than if she suddenly came over unannounced and didn't knock. 
Those saying she is spoiled or whatever really puzzle me. He was in the wrong and if he cannot wait until she leaves, he has issues.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

abitlost said:


> If she was dressing in the living room she might lol


Not if he come busting into HER house.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

abitlost said:


> So if you invite someone to your house decide to dress/masturbate in a communal space the person who went in to the communal space should apologize?


Exactly. I'll ask my husband to do this while his parents are here for Thanksgiving. He'll just excuse himself and go in to the other room to jerk off and once his Mom or Dad walk in on him he should get up in their face and scream "This is MY house". I'll let you know how that goes over. Seriously, who thinks this entire thing is acceptable?! :rofl:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> No, it wouldn't be. But would you apologize to that son and his friends if he was 28 years old and walked in on you naked?


If I was stupid enough to be naked in a room that ANYONE can have access to, at anytime, I would! But then, I don't get naked around anyone but my husband...and my kids know to KNOCK on the door (MY BEDROOM & the bathroom) to avoid such things. The only room(s) reserved for "privacy" for my husband and myself are my room and the bathroom. All other rooms are communal. 

So, yes, I would apologize if my kid saw me naked in another room. If he walked into my room without knocking, that would be a different story.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I wonder if given the exact same circumstances, ie religious upbringing etc, the daughter had found a copy of " 50 Shades Of Grey " in same room her dad watched porn in, would her disgust be the same?
So instead of her dad looking at porn , it would mean that her mother was reading a " disgusting pornographic novel " or as some prefer, " erotica."
Would she find it as equally disgusting?


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Sbrown said:


> Not if he come busting into HER house.


She walked into a communal area (living room), didn't burst into the bedroom and she was invited to the house she didn't turn up unannounced.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I wonder if given the exact same circumstances, ie religious upbringing etc, the daughter had found a copy of " 50 Shades Of Grey " in same room her dad watched porn in, would her disgust be the same?
> So instead of her dad looking at porn , it would mean that her mother was reading a " disgusting pornographic novel " or as some prefer, " erotica."
> Would she find it as equally disgusting?


I would... fair is fair. Especially if it involves hypocrisy.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Maybe I missed it or something.
But did the OP say that the woman's father was actually masturbating to the porn?
Or was he just viewing it?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> At the same time... there was no reason to suspect that she would NOT go into the living room. I would say his own bedroom would have been a smarter option if there was even the slightest possibility that someone, anyone really, COULD come in...whether expected or not.


Would the room have been a smarter options?

Absolutely. But was that even an option? Depends on the location of the computer, and if it's a laptop or not.




Maricha75 said:


> Honestly, Jaquen, I agree...to a point. It IS his business whether he watches porn or not. However, if he told his daughter (and son) all along that porn is evil, goes against their religious beliefs, etc, then the daughter has a right to be upset over this. I would feel the same way if that ever were to happen to me. I think she SHOULD talk to her dad about this. And justify his actions? Well, like I said, if this man was speaking out against the evils of porn, then yes, he should explain his hypocrisy. But that's JMO.


Which would be totally up to the discretion of her father. But at nearly 30 years old, regardless of upbringing, there should be some understanding that her father's porn usage has nothing whatsoever to do with her. She gets to be disappointed, upset, etc, of course she does. But he does not owe her any justification, anymore than she needs to justify her own sexual episodes and proclivities with him.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

abitlost said:


> So if you invite someone to your house decide to dress/masturbate in a communal space the person who went in to the communal space should apologize?


I NEVER said my mom was masturbating.
I said that I went into her house,[ I went to pick her up for an appointment], and I came across her half way naked.
I apologised.

Sometimes a guest might drop by home by my wife and I.
I call out to her and tell her that we have guests, because she might just walk across the hallway half naked.
Its OUR HOUSE and she is free to do that.

If you are a female,you know that most women are like that in their homes.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

delete


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

*"The daughter doesn't live with them."*

*The daughter was upstairs baking with her mother. They have a large house and the father would have no reason to think someone would be going downstairs.*

That's the info given. Nothing was given about this being a communal room, or the dad even having any idea the daughter was in the house. All that is info inferred by TAMers.

What we do have is a grown man, in his own large home, downstairs in the TV room, who for whatever reason had no reason to think someone would come down, watching porn.

Enter this overgrown, spoiled brat, damn near 30 year old who doesn't even live there, happens upon her father and reacts as if she were his wife, and he was cheating on her.

The man did nothing wrong.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Every single statistic known proves that porn is already a "mainstream norm".
> 
> But good luck getting most people to admit that, especially married people.


I am still seaching the internet trying to confirm that


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I NEVER said my mom was masturbating.
> I said that I went into her house,[ I went to pick her up for an appointment], and I came across her half way naked.
> I apologised.
> 
> ...


Sorry my mistake, I thought I read somewhere he was masterbating. It's true it is his house (and her mums) but if you and it's his right I guess to watch a porn in another room when he knew his daughter was over and that's his choice (it is his house). It's also his choice to chance his daughter walking in to the the other room.
What isn't his choice is how his daughter reacted to that happening and what his wife felt about that happening in HER house too. Her reaction is very extreme and im not justifying it at all, but without knowing her background or how she was raised none of us can really make a real opinion on what hapened, and the 'it was his house' arguement seems rather futile (would understand if she barged into the bedroom).


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

missmolly said:


> I am still seaching the internet trying to confirm that


Thirty percent of women, 70 percent of men confess to looking at online porn: study - New York Daily News

Is Porn Killing Your Sex Drive? | Men's Health News

Are more women OK with watching porn? - CNN

Porn's peephole > Global Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/21/u...ore-pornography-in-public.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/03/us/03addiction.html?pagewanted=all


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

jaquen said:


> [BEnter this overgrown, spoiled brat, damn near 30 year old who doesn't even live there, happens upon her father and reacts as if she were his wife, and he was cheating on her. The man did nothing wrong.


yeah yeah. You have been repeating yourself over and over. As if you are going to convince anybody by rephrasing the same thing 10 different ways. Let it go.

I say burn him. He's a witch! 

She's a witch! - YouTube


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> yeah yeah. You have been repeating yourself over and over. As if you are going to convince anybody by rephrasing the same thing 10 different ways. Let it go.
> 
> I say burn him. He's a witch!
> 
> She's a witch! - YouTube


Which would put me in the company of...

Every. Single. Other. Person. On. TAM.

How about we all "let it go", and just delete the whole message board while we're at it?


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

jaquen said:


> *"The daughter doesn't live with them."*
> 
> *The daughter was upstairs baking with her mother. They have a large house and the father would have no reason to think someone would be going downstairs.*
> 
> ...


I completely disagree. I also grew up in a very religious home, and personally believe that pornography is morally and socially wrong for multiple reasons. If I walked in on my father fondling himself while looking at some naked woman half his age it would most certainly change my perspective of him. There is no question that I would respect him less and feel very repulsed by his actions.

This father owes his daughter (I don't care what her age is) an explanation and apology for misleading her about his real views (pun intended) of pornography.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Thirty percent of women, 70 percent of men confess to looking at online porn: study - New York Daily News
> 
> Is Porn Killing Your Sex Drive? | Men's Health News
> 
> ...


There's really two issues here and I see that I am being confusing by introducing the second one. 
Firstly, there's the issue of the daughter getting on her high horse after witnessing her father watching hard core porn. 
I would not judge her for that as that is her decision to make. 

My point is about how accepting widespread porn viewing as a norm, and if so, how damaging I believe it CAN be. 
A couple of the references here are negative outcomes, at least are about people trying to overcome or change their habits. I am not denying that porn viewing is a very common occurrence, I am just questioning whether or not that is neccessarily a good thing. I now see that that I have introduced a sub topic and that this is perhaps not the time or place to do that.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Every single statistic known proves that porn is already a "mainstream norm".
> 
> But good luck getting most people to admit that, especially married people.


I'm married, and I don't deny that porn is "mainstream" and "normal" to many couples. However, that does not necessarily mean it is a positive thing.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

missmolly said:


> There's really two issues here and I see that I am being confusing by introducing the second one.
> Firstly, there's the issue of the daughter getting on her high horse after witnessing her father watching hard core porn.
> I would not judge her for that as that is her decision to make.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> I'm married, and I don't deny that porn is "mainstream" and "normal" to many couples. However, that does not necessarily mean it is a positive thing.


I didn't make any commentary one way or another on whether it's positive, or not.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I didn't make any commentary one way or another on whether it's positive, or not.


I guess I don't understand then, why you would make that comment. You are not implying that people should accept pornography because it is so mainstream and common?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> I guess I don't understand then, why you would make that comment. You are not implying that people should accept pornography because it is so mainstream and common?


That's not what I implied, that's what you inferred.

Missmolly wrote:

*Whilst I am not anti porn per se, I am not sure that it has a place in mainstream 'norm'. 
*

I wrote:
*Every single statistic known proves that porn is already a "mainstream norm".*

I simply wanted to clarify that porn's "place" in the mainstream isn't up for debate. It's already mainstream.

Since then Missmolly has clarified her statements, and all is good.

Nowhere in that exchange did I imply that people should accept porn because it's mainstream and common.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> I completely disagree. I also grew up in a very religious home, and personally believe that pornography is morally and socially wrong for multiple reasons. If I walked in on my father *fondling himself* while looking at some naked woman half his age it would most certainly change my perspective of him. There is no question that I would respect him less and feel very repulsed by his actions.


Of course, nowhere in the information provided by the OP has it been established that he was masturbating. That's a conclusion that has been drawn by others contributing to the post, not information supplied by the OP.

In the larger picture, does she have the right to be "repulsed?" Sure. She also has the right to think that the stork dropped her off in a bundle on the doorstep. And, of course, the right to examine herself to make sure she's not turning a blind eye to any "repulsive" behavior of her own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> This father owes his daughter (I don't care what her age is) an explanation and apology for misleading her about his real views (pun intended) of pornography.


So I guess it's fair, in turn, for the father to ask for intimate details about who she's spread her legs for, what brand of vibrator she uses to stimulate her clitoris, and test her heyman to find out if she's adhered to the "no sexual activity before marriage" rules that the very religious tend to teach?


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

jaquen,

I'll ask again, do you have daughters? I somehow don't think so.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

LOL, Jaquen. :rofl: I don't think that's quite the fair comparison. If this were the case, then the daughter might also hire a private detective to follow her father and check to see how many affairs he has had. She was not interrogating or spying on her father in search of information. 

A more fair comparison might be if this father accidentally walked in on his daughter having sex with her boyfriend when he had advocated abstinence before marriage. He might then express sadness and disappointment over her decision. Even then it is not quite the same. As her father, he was supposed to be a man she respects and admires. To his daughter, he has failed in that regard.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> *"The daughter doesn't live with them."*
> 
> *The daughter was upstairs baking with her mother. They have a large house and the father would have no reason to think someone would be going downstairs.*
> 
> ...


Ah, even better. Dad had some sneaky free time that wifey and daughter wasn't supposed to know about so he waits until both of them are pre-occupied to show his hypocrisy. I disagree that he did nothing wrong but that's irrelevant. He was caught by his daughter and your advice is to tell her to grow up and that she is spoiled.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> LOL, Jaquen. :rofl: I don't think that's quite the fair comparison.


I actually think it's a very fair comparison.

They live in a "very religious" household. The daughter has discovered that her father watches porn, and some argue that she deserves an explanation about his personal porn usage since he's apparently taught her it is wrong.

Fine. But that also entitles the father to ask his 28 year old daughter to talk to him about the intimate details regarding what she looks at sexually, what her fantasies are, and who she's spreading her legs for. Because, according to that logic, he has the right to know if she's held up the "very religious" standards that he taught.

When we're getting into the arena where it's seriously suggested that a grown woman is owed some explanation from her father about what porn he watches, then all bets are off and the reverse is true.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> He was caught by his daughter and your advice is to tell her to grow up and that she is spoiled.


If I was in his shoes I wouldn't even bother to tell her to grow up. If she had the nerve to step to me about my porn usage, in my own house, I would laugh in her face and tell her to mind her own damn business and keep right on stepping.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

confused55 said:


> jaquen,
> 
> I'll ask again, do you have daughters? I somehow don't think so.


Sorry, looked at your profile and see you don't have kids. 
I'll tell you one thing, if you do, all of your views will change.

Your values will change


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> So I guess it's fair, in turn, for the father to ask for intimate details about who she's spread her legs for, what brand of vibrator she uses to stimulate her clitoris, and test her heyman to find out if she's adhered to the "no sexual activity before marriage" rules that the very religious tend to teach?


The man lacks self control AND he is a hypocrite.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> If I was in his shoes I wouldn't even bother to tell her to grow up. If she had the nerve to step to me about my porn usage, in my own house, I would laugh in her face and tell her to mind her own damn business and keep right on stepping.


Sure you would. You remind me of my childless twin who is always telling me how SHE would raise my sons and what her thoughts/reactions/punishments/behavior would be. Have kids first and then get back with me about how you would react to their reaction. Everything else is fairytales and unicorns.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

confused55 said:


> Sorry, looked at your profile and see you don't have kids.
> I'll tell you one thing, if you do, all of your views will change.
> 
> Your values will change


Oh, your values change? Interesting. Because my sister once asked my mother a personal question about her sexual history, the answer to which would have likely flown in the face of the "no sex before marriage" mantra she taught us, and my mother didn't kowtow to her CHILD. No, she told her that it was none of her business and don't she EVER ask her such a personal question again about her sexual history.

That was the end of that. That's how I was raised. My parents were human, and their lives didn't always follow perfectly the tenants that they taught us in our very religious upbringing. But as an adult I had the faculties to recognize that humans are fallible, and that these people taught me what they believed was right. I didn't ever have the audacity to demand that my parents go into intimate, personal detail about their sexual history, and desires, even when I knew that some of those experiences didn't fall 100% in line with what they taught.

Because parents are human beings, not God.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Sure you would. You remind me of my childless twin who is always telling me how SHE would raise my sons and what her thoughts/reactions/punishments/behavior would be. Have kids first and then get back with me about how you would react to their reaction. Everything else is fairytales and unicorns.


Actually I didn't answer that woman because I have a very complicated, and very painful reason to not talk about whether I have a daughter or not.

It's none of her damn business. And frankly if you knew my situation, you'd realize how absurd you sound.


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

jaquen said:


> Actually I didn't answer that woman because I have a very complicated, and very painful reason to not talk about whether I have a daughter or not.
> 
> It's none of her damn business. And frankly if you knew my situation, you'd realize how absurd you sound.



Sorry, but if you don't have kids, you just can't know or feel the same way a parent does - about anything.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> LOL, Jaquen. :rofl: I don't think that's quite the fair comparison. If this were the case, then the daughter might also hire a private detective to follow her father and check to see how many affairs he has had. She was not interrogating or spying on her father in search of information.
> 
> A more fair comparison might be if this father accidentally walked in on his daughter having sex with her boyfriend when he had advocated abstinence before marriage. He might then express sadness and disappointment over her decision. Even then it is not quite the same. As her father, he was supposed to be a man she respects and admires. To his daughter, he has failed in that regard.


You're close. But the comparison would have to be him catching her having premarital sex IN HER OWN HOME an then passing judgement on her for her choice to do so.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

confused55 said:


> Sorry, but if you don't have kids, you just can't know or feel the same way a parent does - about anything.


Can you read?

You don't have a damn clue what I do, or do not have. I didn't answer your persistent requests to clarify my parental status one way or another.

I will repeat what you either didn't bother to read, or can't understand, and I will leave it at that:

*I have a very complicated, and very painful reason to not talk about whether I have a daughter or not.*

Read into that what you will. But this I tell you, you and Therealbrighteyes are making fools of yourselves right now in the assumptions you're making about my parental status. Reading my OLD profile status, or my threads, won't give you a clue. But remember what they say about _ass_umptions...


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Without going in to too much detail, I did a film when I was 19. Most of the old timers here know this so I won't repeat my story. Since then (given my experience) I am 100% anti-porn. 100%. I cannot stand it. My husband knew this going in that porn to me, it would be a slap in my face and I would leave. Both of our sons know my feelings on this as well. They are 19 and 15. All their lives I have felt this way and have been very vocal with my disgust of the industry. 
Suppose they walked in on me one day watching porn. What would they think of me then? A hypocrite? A liar? A fraud? Would it be okay if I told them to grow up and mind their own business? That's exactly what this father taught his daughter her whole life through his religious teachings. Tell me how you think she is wrong for being disgusted with his sheer hypocrisy?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Funny thing is when I first saw this header:

"....Daughter sees father watching porn....."

in the " sex in marriage "section of TAM, the first thing that came to my mind was disgust for this father in the title.

I clicked on the link,
When I read the AGE of the daughter, I didn't even bother to post on the story because I thought it was simple.

Fourteen pages later we are still arguing this ridiculous incident.

The answer to the OP's question is simple.

Would YOU ostracize your dad because you caught him
" sneaking a peek" at porn, irrespective of whatever " values " he taught you whilst growing up?
Really?
At 28 years old , one is old enough to know that despite what values were inculcated into them by their parents, they can think and make decisions for themselves, and this works BOTH ways.

So, should her father ostracize her from the family if he found out that she uses sex toys and masturbates?

Would that be hypocrisy on her part, or would it simply be an ADULT person way beyond the age of consent taking charge of her sexuality ?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My father in law was a great man, great father, would give the shirt off his back to anyone -even took me in to live with them..back then being the inhibited young girl dating his son, my husband knew he had a stash of porn Vhs's .... his Mom likely too, and I heard about it also, yeah, back then...it was repulsive to me, but it never changed my view of the man, nobody walked in on him of course, but... ya know..... sh** happens. Are the rest of us perfect ?? It likely ranks up on the most embarrassing thing that's every happened to him. Should he be crucified ? 

I can see it being a moment you just want to erase from your mind... but taking that moment -- putting that ABOVE all the goodness, his fatherly care over the years (assuming he was a decent father?) trampling all the memories... over this....being an older woman herself... seems way over the top to me. 

For all of those who are vilified and feel she has a right to never talk to him again- nor be in the same room with him....he should be under her feet of shame...... what do you feel HE should do?? 

I would think he is sickenly embarrassed & wants to just go crawl under a rock somewhere... who wants to open this can of worms really.. Should he call a family conference.. write a letter of apology, what lengths should HE go to make amends -- then he will be "worthy" to be in the tender graces of his dear daughter again. ??


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> Actually I didn't answer that woman because I have a very complicated, and very painful reason to not talk about whether I have a daughter or not.
> 
> It's none of her damn business. And frankly if you knew my situation, you'd realize how absurd you sound.


I apologize. I made it personal and should not have. Forgive me


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Suppose they walked in on me one day watching porn. What would they think of me then? A hypocrite? A liar? A fraud? Would it be okay if I told them to grow up and mind their own business? That's exactly what this father taught his daughter her whole life through his religious teachings. Tell me how you think she is wrong for being disgusted with his sheer hypocrisy?


I never once said she didn't have a right to be disgusted. That is totally understandable.

I said it was none of her business. And at 28 years old, it is absolutely none of her business what turns her father on. None at all.

If you made the decision to discuss that with your teenage boys, then that is your choice. But it's just that, your choice. Not a requirement, not a demand that your children have the right to put on you.

Do you have the right to go to your 19 year old son and demand he tell you when was the last time he ejaculated, and whether he used porn or not to do it? How would he react to that kind of demand from his mother?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I apologize. I made it personal and should not have. Forgive me


Thank you, I really appreciate that.

:smthumbup:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

jaquen said:


> I never once said she didn't have a right to be disgusted. That is totally understandable.
> 
> I said it was none of her business. And at 28 years old, it is absolutely none of her business what turns her father on. None at all.
> 
> ...


I think porn is always a touchy subject. Let's say the father taught the daughter her entire life that stealing is wrong and then is caught shoplifting. It's kind of the same thing. He didn't abide by his own rules and I think that is what the daughter is having such a hard time with. Not sure but to me it would be the do as I say not as I do meme that would change my opinion of a person.

I hope you saw my apology. I didn't mean to make this personal. Kids or no kids, everybody has the right to express themselves. I was wrong.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My father in law was a great man, great father, would give the shirt off his back to anyone -even took me in to live with them..back then being the inhibited young girl dating his son, my husband knew he had a stash of porn Vhs's .... his Mom likely too, and I heard about it also, yeah, back then...it was repulsive to me, but it never changed my view of the man, nobody walked in on him of course, but... ya know..... sh** happens. Are the rest of us perfect ?? It likely ranks up on the most embarrassing thing that's every happened to him. Should he be crucified ?
> 
> *I can see it being a moment you just want to erase from your mind... but taking that moment -- putting that ABOVE all the goodness, his fatherly care over the years (assuming he was a decent father?) trampling all the memories... over this....being an older woman herself... seems way over the top to me. *
> 
> ...


:iagree:

And IMO, this is the crux of the matter regarding the OP's question.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Funny thing is when I first saw this header:
> 
> "....Daughter sees father watching porn....."
> 
> ...


Agreed about the 14 pages bit. Now how about some attention to 'best gift ever' in Sex In Marriage.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

missmolly said:


> Agreed about the 14 pages bit. Now how about some attention to 'best gift ever' in Sex In Marriage.


oh my goodness,
Another one of * those *
Just saw it....
But I have to leave the office now.
I will look at it later.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> oh my goodness,
> Another one of * those *
> Just saw it....
> But I have to leave the office now.
> I will look at it later.


Too late...it was pulled. :rofl::rofl:


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Too late...it was pulled. :rofl::rofl:


haha I was just reading that thread, went to the next page and it was gone.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Too late...it was pulled. :rofl::rofl:


What a waste of a perfectly good use of Admiral Ackbar!


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I think porn is always a touchy subject. Let's say the father taught the daughter her entire life that stealing is wrong and then is caught shoplifting. It's kind of the same thing. He didn't abide by his own rules and I think that is what the daughter is having such a hard time with. Not sure but to me it would be the do as I say not as I do meme that would change my opinion of a person.


I get where you're going with this, but I think there's a disparity of degrees and impact in the subject at hand and the example you provide here. In the case of stealing/shoplifting, it's not just a matter of "being taught it was wrong"...it's actually ILLEGAL.

When teaching kids about things that are legal but one deems inappropriate for one reason or another - smoking, drinking, premarital sex, porn, etc, I always assume (I know, I know) the implied addendum of, "but, when you're an adult, you can make your own decisions." And, of course, not only does that go both ways, but, humans being humans, the parents' views - both as a unit and individually - can change over time. The father in this case may have changed his stance on porn and, if so, is under no obligation to inform his adult daughter. (The reverse applies as well, naturally.) Or, maybe he's hypocritical on the issue. He wouldn't be the first parent to adopt "do as I say, not as I do," and he won't be the last. In the grand scheme of things, there are far worse things to be contradictory on than something that is, at its root, a private matter.

If this one incident is enough to torpedo what we can only assume (there's that word again) from the information provided has been a lifelong strong father/daughter relationship, then I think it's safe to say that there's something else going on...other underlying issues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Grayson said:


> I get where you're going with this, but I think there's a disparity of degrees and impact in the subject at hand and the example you provide here. In the case of stealing/shoplifting, it's not just a matter of "being taught it was wrong"...it's actually ILLEGAL.
> 
> When teaching kids about things that are legal but one deems inappropriate for one reason or another - smoking, drinking, premarital sex, porn, etc, I always assume (I know, I know) the implied addendum of, "but, when you're an adult, you can make your own decisions." And, of course, not only does that go both ways, but, humans being humans, the parents' views - both as a unit and individually - can change over time. The father in this case may have changed his stance on porn and, if so, is under no obligation to inform his adult daughter. (The reverse applies as well, naturally.) Or, maybe he's hypocritical on the issue. He wouldn't be the first parent to adopt "do as I say, not as I do," and he won't be the last. In the grand scheme of things, there are far worse things to be contradictory on than something that is, at its root, a private matter.
> 
> ...


My stealing analogy wasn't the best.  I think it boils down to SHE thought that he was staunchly against this given his strict religious beliefs and he raised her accordingly. I can imagine this changed her view of him.
I agree with you about potential underlying issues but maybe not. If someone hammered in to my head how bad something was and then I found out they lied all along, I'm not sure I would ever trust let alone respect them again. Not sure.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I actually think it's a very fair comparison.
> 
> 
> Fine. But that also entitles the father to ask his 28 year old daughter to talk to him about the intimate details regarding what she looks at sexually, what her fantasies are, and who she's spreading her legs for. Because, according to that logic, he has the right to know if she's held up the "very religious" standards that he taught.
> ...


But she didn't ASK her father anything about his sex life. She certainly didn't interrogate him about his private sexual practices. Instead, she unknowingly walked in while her father was watching pornography. She did not solicit this information from him. There is a big difference here. 

I'm not saying that she should ostracize her father and never speak to him again. I certainly don't think this is the right approach. However, I do think it is a bit unreasonable to expect her relationship with her father to remain unchanged. If you grow up hearing from your father "pornography is wrong--I value women more than that" then I think it is quite natural to feel disappointed and even betrayed when when you see your own father getting off to naked women on a computer screen. 

I do believe this father and daughter could repair their relationship. But it will take some work on both of their parts.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I think that religion is playing an enormous role in the reaction of the daughter and wife. While I might agree with many of the comments that the daughter should get over it, that's with my very different cultural background. What seems like good advice may run smack dab into religious doctrine that is to the contrary. Tough thing to resolve.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Well I didn't get the part about the man being religious , a Christian and all that... I didn't read all of these pages, if he came off as a Preacher man his whole life while outrightly condemning others for slipping into a little temptation in porn....then this *IS* the definition of a hypocrite. 

I don't personally care for Christians who are this "Holier than Thou" anyway.. because they all have skeletons in their closet somewhere, sometimes being Judgemental is the worst sin of all... A little too many with the cup cleaner on the outside . IF these same people would be more honest about their own weaknesses, well, those are the more gracious souls, I feel we ought to teach our kids this also, I know I sure do MINE. 

Maybe this Dad didn't, maybe he was a Hypocrite, I don't know. 

But seriously....any religious man worth this salt KNOWS and understands MEN STRUGGLE WITH PORN....that is why books such as this are written by GOOD men who also struggled....for some it is the biggest battle of their lives. 

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series): Books


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Honestly, I don't give a sh!t about those women being degraded or devalued; they CHOSE what they do for a living. Many of them made sure to actually ENHANCE themselves to make that living. I'll save my pity for those who actually deserve it. As for the men who watch? That's their choice as well.


Your insight and knowledge coupled with your great empathy is astounding me. 

Choice? Why is it that you won't catch women who havnt been sexually abused and who are well educated, women who really have much more choice in life in 99.9 % of porn? Weird coincidence or what?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Your insight and knowledge coupled with your great empathy is astounding me.
> 
> Choice? *Why is it that you won't catch women who havnt been sexually abused and who are well educated, women who really have much more choice in life in 99.9 % of porn? Weird coincidence or what?*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Little Deer,
Your assumptions are wrong.
Not every girl in porn was sexually abused as a child.

Some years ago, a beauty queen that represented my country in the Miss Universe contest, was featured in a porn flick with another Miss Universe contestant. This was filmed after they competed in the pageant. There were two flicks.
One a girl - girl flick, and the other a male , female,female threesome.
The girl from my country came from a very wealthy , affluent family. Her father is a well known Doctor who actually OWNS A PRIVATE HOSPITAL.
Needless to say, when the shyt hit the fan, everybody was embarrassed and shocked because of her standing in society.
But those of us in the know,knew she was always a wild party girl. There were other " clips " circulating before the " bi one."

The porn industry is a complex one because human sexuality is complex. Most girls who " graduate" into porn do so of their own free will and the lure of money. Not because they are poor or because they were abused.
Added to that sexual abuse is rampant even* outside of porn*. In other words, not every woman who was sexually abused end up doing porn. And not every girl in porn chasing the glamorous life , was sexually abused as a child.
It is a choice they as adults make.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Caribbean Man said:


> Little Deer,
> Your assumptions are wrong.
> Not every girl in porn was sexually abused as a child.
> 
> ...


We can all find one example. Of the 14 that worked on the set with me, I was the only one not sexually abused or on drugs. 1 out of 14 but I certainly had other abuse in my background. So 14 out of 14 WERE abused.
I do take issue with the "it's a choice" meme. Sure, nobody put a gun to my head or any of the other women but when you are at the lowest depths of despair, your world is so dark, you take drugs just to breath (not me) and nobody is there to help you, I would hesitate to be so flippant and call it a choice. These people need help, not predators who further abuse them to make billions. Again, this is my opinion from my own experience. I understand that others disagree.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> We can all find one example. Of the 14 working on the set with me, I was the only one not sexually abused or on drugs. 1 out of 14 but I certainly had other abuse in my background. So 14 out of 14 WERE abused.
> I do take issue with the "it's a choice" meme. Sure, nobody put a gun to my head or any of the other women but when you are at the lowest depths of despair, your world is so dark, you take drugs just to breath (not me) and nobody is there to help you, I would hesitate to be so flippant and call it a choice. These people need help, not predators who further abuse them to make billions. Again, this is my opinion from my own experience. I understand that others disagree and that's why I avoid porn threads usually. It's a huge trigger for me.


It doesn't really matter. I respect your opinion, but its still a choice. 

That damaged goods wind up in porn, yeah a lot do. Sex addicts and people with issues, but its still a choice. A crappy one but still a choice made. 

Theres more reasons to be given as well.

This is a mostly opinionated argument, and I can already tell we'll agree to disagree so I won't elaborate and will leave it at that.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> We can all find one example. Of the 14 working on the set with me, I was the only one not sexually abused or on drugs. 1 out of 14 but I certainly had other abuse in my background. So 14 out of 14 WERE abused. I doubt that was a coincidence.


I posted this here on a similar thread already.
Even my cousin posed naked for a men's magazine when she was 20 yrs old.
She was the centrefold.
She was a University grad and her dad was the top man in charge of the DMV down here.
He was shell shocked.
Her response was that it was her life.
She was not sexually abused,but did have " daddy issues."
Her father was a well known playa up untill his 40's.

I have known local girls down here who do porn simply because they get caught up in the wrong crowd, and the wrong influences at a vulnerable stage in their life.

I used to vet models for some of our top local designer and advertising firms. Some of these girls , especially the younger ones will do ANYTHING to get their face on a billboard or magazine cover. I knew men who took advantage of their vulnerability , promised them the moon and the stars in show biz, and they end up in a porn flick.

I got out of that vetting business because they would ofer me all sorts of things sending clips to my email etc. Simply because the other guys were accepting it.
I was not single, I was married and I felt that I was in the wrong crowd.

I know that life. And I know many pretty girls from religious background who ended up doing porn.
A background of sexual abuse is common in porn, but it is also very common outside of porn.

I do not look at hardcore porn, to me its boring , because my sex life is and always has been better than what they portray as * fantasy .*

My wife prefers softcore, and I'm cool with that. I am over 40 and I feel differently about sex, and a whole lot of things.

Porn has always been with us from ever since the great kings ruled the earth. The geishas and courtesans who filled their harems were very well paid.
Democracy and Capitalism has made the industry into what it is today.
Like every other industry, there is a human cost to it.
Whether it is blood diamonds from Africa,
Cheap bananas from Central &South America or ,
The exotic, hand woven & printed silks from the endless ghettos of India,
Its just the way of the world.

I will not condemn anybody who views porn as being dirty or disgusting. I have been there and done that.

There is help for those who want to exit the industry, but the **glamour often keeps them until its too late.

ETA
**Glamour refers to the free passes to exclusive clubs, pleasure rides on private yachts , starring in music videos for top artiste etc, etc. This is what is used to lure these girls and keep them there until a "fresh set of faces" come along.


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## earlyforties (May 3, 2012)

Firstly, I thought this was going to be about a father having his child aged daughter catch him watching porn - I'm glad it wasn't, though it must be a more common thing these days with the internet etc. and would've beeen interesting to read from a social context... ok and cringe factor.

So I carried on reading and was frankly slighlty irritated to find it was a 28 year old woman/daughter. Ok, Dad's a **** for getting caught but daughter, get a grip and lighten up. A 28 year old woman should know that dads wank too.

Then this line sent a shiver down my spine: 



confused55 said:


> They won't be laughing with the type of porn this was.


This must be why I've still got so many pages to read, I thought, expecting animals or something truly hideous. Again, I'm glad it wasn't but the in the end my interest petered out around page 7. I couldn't be ar$ed reading about an extreme religion inflating an awkward domestic situation way, way beyond what it was. 

It may well have got more interesting between p7 and this page but alas, I will never know.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Caribbean Man said:


> I posted this here on a similar thread already.
> Even my cousin posed naked for a men's magazine when she was 20 yrs old.
> She was the centrefold.
> She was a University grad and her dad was the top man in charge of the DMV down here.
> ...


I hear what you are saying CM. I certainly don't think that porn is the only industry of rampant exploitation, not at all. 
I am not condemning anyone, I shared my experience and said many times that for me, it is unacceptable.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I hear what you are saying CM. I certainly don't think that porn is the only industry of rampant exploitation, not at all. Diamonds to me are one of the most disgusting "gems" on Earth. I do however think that if we know this goes on and we financially support these industries, we are literally saying it's A okay.
> I am not condemning anyone, I shared my experience and said many times that for me, it is unacceptable.


I understand and fully respect your point of view.

My wife is in charge of any porn that comes into our house,so she determines what and when we watch it. [ which is very rare]
I'm cool with that. [ no porn on TV either]

I don't " need " porn at this stage in of my life.
I've already viewed way too much, and its mostly boring to me.
Its easier for me to get aroused by the memories I have of actual sexual encounters , than porn.
But that's just me and my experience.

Everyone is different.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

earlyforties said:


> A 28 year old woman should know that dads wank too.


Nothing said by the OP suggests he was masturbating.

What we have is that the dad was _*watching *_porn "downstairs" "in the TV room."

The type of porn was described as "the man pulling the girls hair forcing her to perform a bj while saying demeaning things to her."

Anything beyond the above is unsupported conjecture.


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## earlyforties (May 3, 2012)

Yep, hands up, sorry, ignore the word 'wank'. The rest is fine though.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> But she didn't ASK her father anything about his sex life. She certainly didn't interrogate him about his private sexual practices. Instead, she unknowingly walked in while her father was watching pornography. She did not solicit this information from him. There is a big difference here.


Didn't say she did. I was specifically responding to posters who said he should justify and explain his porn usage to his daughter.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> We can all find one example. Of the 14 working on the set with me, I was the only one not sexually abused or on drugs. 1 out of 14 but I certainly had other abuse in my background. So 14 out of 14 WERE abused.
> I do take issue with the "it's a choice" meme. Sure, nobody put a gun to my head or any of the other women but when you are at the lowest depths of despair, your world is so dark, you take drugs just to breath (not me) and nobody is there to help you, I would hesitate to be so flippant and call it a choice. These people need help, not predators who further abuse them to make billions. Again, this is my opinion from my own experience. I understand that others disagree and that's why I avoid porn threads usually. It's a huge trigger for me.


I don't think anyone's suggesting its all sweetness and light across the board. At the same time, you'll find vile, corrupt businesses in any industry. That doesn't serve as an indictment of the entire industry. I feel for you in your experience. If, for example, my experience in an above-board car dealership service department can make me look at the car business in a poor light, I can only imagine what being at a low ebb and getting into a sleazy, corrupt arm of a business could cause.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Your insight and knowledge coupled with your great empathy is astounding me.
> 
> Choice? Why is it that you won't catch women who havnt been sexually abused and who are well educated, women who really have much more choice in life in 99.9 % of porn? Weird coincidence or what?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, choice. There are plenty of women who have been sexual abused (like myself) and who do not have university educations (such as myself) who are not involved in this pathetic and apalling lifestyle, and never have been. 

Do yourself a favor and go look at a porn vid right now. Those women are dyed or bleached, from their hair down to the cracks of their arses (which are also bleached) to make it all look good for viewers. They have breast implants. Fake tans. Many of these women are very good looking...they have lots of other choices, but sadly, this is easy money. Why would they flip burgers for 8$ an hour? Why go to school? 

So ya, cry me a river.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

This is a joke right? 28 years old? Time to get mature. Daddy likes porn. It happens.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Your insight and knowledge coupled with your great empathy is astounding me.
> 
> Choice? Why is it that you won't catch women who havnt been sexually abused and who are well educated, women who really have much more choice in life in 99.9 % of porn? Weird coincidence or what?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If we're playing the percentage game...women in porn probably represent .001% of the women who are actually abused. Not all abused women continue to be victimized. Most, the vast majority find strength to never be victimized again.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Sinnister, it's still gross to walk in on your parents...I don't care how old you are. In fact, the older, the worse it must be! Ew !!! :lol:


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## Mr steal your girl (Aug 11, 2012)

How was he able to watch hardcore porn on tv? They don't show Hardcore porn on TV, unless he had a DVD.

Unless he had the cheap motel cable hookup with five porn channels.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Mr steal your girl said:


> How was he able to watch hardcore porn on tv? They don't show Hardcore porn on TV, unless he had a DVD.
> 
> Unless he had the cheap motel cable hookup with five porn channels.


She didn't say that he was watching on TV. She said he was watching in the TV room. She didn't specifiy what device he was using.

Also, umm, yes you can watch hardcore on TV. Just hook up a modern laptop to an HDTv via a USB or HDMI cable.


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## Mr steal your girl (Aug 11, 2012)

jaquen said:


> She didn't say that he was watching on TV. She said he was watching in the TV room. She didn't specifiy what device he was using.
> 
> Also, umm, yes you can watch hardcore on TV. Just hook up a modern laptop to an HDTv via a USB or HDMI cable.


Operative word is "They" as in TV stations. Not someone hooking up their laptop to a tv.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Mr steal your girl said:


> Operative word is "They" as in TV stations. Not someone hooking up their laptop to a tv.


You wondered how he could be watching hardcore porn on a television, and I specified how that would be possible. You can't assume these days that something you see on a TV is being broadcast from a station.

And also I'm confused as to why you think only motels broadcast hardcore porn. In my area you can get dozens of porn channels offering all kinds of hardcore action via my cable company.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I hope this poor fragil 28yr woman dosn't develope a daddy porn fetish.

17 pages of this......really


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> I hope this poor fragil 28yr woman dosn't develope a daddy porn fetish.
> 
> 17 pages of this......really


Or a fetish for her daddy's porn...

Or a fetish for her daddy as porn...

Trust me, I can go all night.

Bada BOOM!


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## Mr steal your girl (Aug 11, 2012)

jaquen said:


> You wondered how he could be watching hardcore porn on a television, and I specified how that would be possible. You can't assume these days that something you see on a TV is being broadcast from a station.
> 
> And also I'm confused as to why you think only motels broadcast hardcore porn. In my area you can get dozens of porn channels offering all kinds of hardcore action via my cable company.


I'm not assuming or talking about broadcast stations. Unless you're in a certain market cable companies don't show hard core porn. And if so, that comes with a premium package. 

Plus the woman said the daughter came into the room and said

"The daughter doesn't live with them. She was just over visiting and I guess he didn't hear her walking down the stairs, so he didn't have time to change the channel."


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

jaquen said:


> You wondered how he could be watching hardcore porn on a television, and I specified how that would be possible. You can't assume these days that something you see on a TV is being broadcast from a station.
> 
> And also I'm confused as to why you think only motels broadcast hardcore porn. In my area you can get dozens of porn channels offering all kinds of hardcore action via my cable company.


It's also easy to stream videos from a computer through a Roku. Not that I know anything about that.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Mr steal your girl said:


> I'm not assuming or talking about broadcast stations. Unless you're in a certain market cable companies don't show hard core porn. And if so, that comes with a premium package.


Yes, it's apart of premium service, which is fairly common now.

I guess my point is that regardless of the source, there are plenty of ways one could be watching hardcore porn on a television. It's not exactly uncommon or surprising.


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## Mr steal your girl (Aug 11, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Yes, it's apart of premium service, which is fairly common now.
> 
> I guess my point is that regardless of the source, there are plenty of ways one could be watching hardcore porn on a television. It's not exactly uncommon or surprising.


True and I've done the dozens of ways of putting porn on a tv..including laptop to tv.

But I have to question how religious is this man, if he did these hook ups or was his daughter overreacting.


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## hubbyfetish (Oct 2, 2012)

Yeah the daughter is 28 but still could he not have been watching it in another room. I did not read through every single post...so I don't know if he knew she was at the house or not. That would make a difference. If wife and I were watching porn....it would be when no one else was home....or if there were people in our house, we would be watching it behind closed doors.

If he knew she was there....he should have been in a different room and if he was worried about her walking in.....then lock a door.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

maybe she freaked out so bad because it's a porn flick she's watched, now that would be disturbing


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

abitlost said:


> maybe she freaked out so bad because it's a porn flick she's watched, now that would be disturbing


:rofl:


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Or one she was in?


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

This thread is quickly degenerating into what usually comes to with anything porn related discussion. Men saying watching porn is normal, some women saying it's evil incarnate and saying that their husbands don't watch it (because they asked them if they did nonetheless... LOL)...

Pray to all the gods to save you if ever men get to react the same way with those bullsh*t "romantic" drivel you read and see in the movies. Plenty of you will be visiting rehab for it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

whos your daddy!


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I don't have a problem with it and don't read romance novels or watch movies to get excited. 
That would be really gross to see your dad doing that but jeez it's his house.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

costa200 said:


> This thread is quickly degenerating into what usually comes to with anything porn related discussion. Men saying watching porn is normal, some women saying it's evil incarnate and saying that their husbands don't watch it (because they asked them if they did nonetheless... LOL)...
> 
> Pray to all the gods to save you if ever men get to react the same way with those bullsh*t "romantic" drivel you read and see in the movies. Plenty of you will be visiting rehab for it.


I see that the usual comparison to romantic movies has been pulled out by you. 

If people can't understand why porn is very harmful and many people don't like it, or feel very uncomfortable with it, then they have tunnel vision IMO. It's all about getting your rocks off, and not about empathy nor understanding.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

and her mom is acting surprised? At least her father is still sexually inclined and her mom is getting laid. She's 28 for crying out loud!! I'm sure she's got her own thing she does behind closed doors. grow up.


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