# Stag do question



## 1999 (Mar 3, 2011)

I have been invited on my best friends week long stag do, however my wife will be 4 weeks away from giving birth when the stag do begins.

I really want to go and my wife doesnt want me to. Her mum has also said she could move back in with her for a week while I went.

Was hoping for opinions on whether it would be unreasonable for me to go?

Thanks.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

So you want to go to a week-long bachelor party when your wife is 9 months pregnant. What sort of bachelor party are we talking about here? And how long would it take you to get back to your wife if she were to go into labor early?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I don't know if it's unreasonable, but I don't think it's something I would have done when my wife was pregnant.

C


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

1999 said:


> I have been invited on my best friends week long stag do, however my wife will be 4 weeks away from giving birth when the stag do begins.
> 
> I really want to go and my wife doesnt want me to. Her mum has also said she could move back in with her for a week while I went.
> 
> ...


*A stag do? Assuming that's a week long drawn out bachelor party, yes I'd have a problem with you being gone that long being that close to having a child. Wouldn't your time off be better used after the birth of the child? *


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

1999 said:


> I have been invited on my best friends week long stag do, however my wife will be 4 weeks away from giving birth when the stag do begins.
> 
> I really want to go and my wife doesnt want me to. Her mum has also said she could move back in with her for a week while I went.
> 
> ...


Female, 9 months pregnant, hormones raging, full of anxiety, wants her husband with her
*+*
Male, wants to go party with other males, leaving pregnant wife without him
*=*
RESENTMENT!!! 

Hey if you think it won't mean anything when you get back, who am I to tell you not to go. Each to his own pain....

BTW, if you think you're not getting sex now, wait till she thinks about you leaving her alone for your friends.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

1999 said:


> I have been invited on my best friends week long stag do, however my wife will be 4 weeks away from giving birth when the stag do begins.
> 
> I really want to go and my wife doesnt want me to. Her mum has also said she could move back in with her for a week while I went.
> 
> ...


Yes, it's unreasonable for you to go.

Seriously, this Stag holiday while your wife is pregnant will become a focal point during your counseling sessions ten maybe twenty years from now if you go.


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## Blue Firefly (Mar 6, 2013)

1999 said:


> I have been invited on my best friends week long stag do, however my wife will be 4 weeks away from giving birth when the stag do begins.
> 
> I really want to go and my wife doesnt want me to. Her mum has also said she could move back in with her for a week while I went.
> 
> ...


Stop being stupid.

The birth of your child is a one time event. Stag parties come along all the time.

1) If you miss your child's birth, because you were away at a stag party, you'll never forgive yourself.

2) If you miss your child's birth, because you were away at a stag party, your wife will never forgive you. You'll be hearing about this (and paying for it) for the next 40 years.

Again, stop being stupid, and put your priorities in order. A small, short-term gain (the stag party) vs a huge, long-term loss.

Children do come early. You can't guarantee the birth won't happen while you are away at the stag party. Don't go.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Hang on fella....

1. If your W said she was going to a week long hen party would you really be happy for her to go out of sigt and with a load of rampent single females?

2. Your W has 4 weeks to go, you intend being away one whole week of that and you expect her to feel loved and cherished as her H is away 24/7 living it upi with guys who are full of alchohol and many are single.....

3. You come on here and ask this question becuase why?

Wake up! Stop being a little boy and grow a pair. Your w comes FIRST second, last and all points between. You are 50% responsible for the child being concieved and you want to be away this close? 
You have a responsibility here.
As a Husband and potential father Id expect to be within spitting distance from here until the kid walks down the aisle. Any good father and husband would. This is a party, if it was a one night out with the guys - boozed up, ramping hangover then ok Id could say (as I suspect your W would ) its ok to go. This is a no brainer from where I stand.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

OP,

Sorry to say that you are being unreasonable wanting to go on this week long lads holiday.

What is it with stag does now; I was happy for a night out on the town with my mates, A few drinks, a nice meal then onto a DISCO for a dance and some late night / early morning drinks. Now it seems to be a competition as to who can have the longest / most exotic do and from what I have seen the women are just as bad with their "Hen Does"


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

My answer? Stag-NOT. 

Dude, you'd never ever hear the end of it. Never, ever. Kudos to your wife for not having responded, "It's fine" or "Do what you want" or "Don't let me stop you" when she actually means, "Don't want you to go". She was percise in her decision. She doesn't want you to go. If you come up with alternatives at this point then you are just invalidating her and her answer. She'd wonder why you bothered asking her in the first place. Now, it's possible she could see that you are disappointed in not going and perhaps offer up a compromise where you'd only go for 3 days as opposed to all week. But that's on her. What's on you is to accept her decision and not be resentful of it. You probably had a good idea she wasn't going to be fine with it since you felt the need to ask her. Which, btw, is great that you did. You get kudos from me as well!  

Disclosure: I have never been pregnant so my point of view is driven more objectively; not hormonely. Is that a word? Can't remember! But I would imagine that this is probably the most anxienty ridden time for her. What I mean is, she didn't say no to punish you.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

A whole week? No. Not a month away from delivering. If it were just an evening or overnight, sure. I've never heard of a whole week stag party. That's pretty extreme. Maybe it's a cultural thing but your life is your immediately family now. Don't screw it up with juvenile behavior.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It depends on whether you consider a weeks worth of semi-fun to be worth a lifetime of marital payback. Do you really want to hear about your wife complain about this escapade when you're 90? How much fun are you really going to have knowing your testicles will be pounded daily when you get back for at least a couple of months and they'll be hauled out again every few days for another beating for the rest of your natural life? The Good Book says there is a way that seems right to a man but the ends thereof are the ways of destruction. This is just such an occasion.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Pault said:


> As a Husband and potential father Id expect to be within spitting distance from here until the kid walks down the aisle. Any good father and husband would.


Any good father and husband who had a choice would. 
Some people have to work overseas, away from home for long period.
Being ex military I know that if you are on deployment you may not be able to get home leave. A friend of mine was told by the OC "you have to be there for the laying of the keel but attendance at the launching is not compulsory"


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Stag don't.

Stag DO YOURSELF A FAVOR that pays dividends for the rest of your life. PRETEND to care about your wife and unborn child and stay home. GOD FORBID something happened where your wife had to be rushed to the hospital due to complications and something went wrong, and you are off partying it up (and worse with a stripper). Yeah, that one wouldn't be recoverable.


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## michelle13 (Oct 23, 2012)

Don't go. It is very unreasonable of you. She asked you not to, respect her wishes.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

If my husband tried to pull this one I would have instantly lost a massive amount of respect for him, also would have shown how little respect he has for me.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

IMO you would be letting your wife down in a big big way if you go on this stag do. It will sour what should be a very special time for your growing family.

Are you worried you will get a hard time off your mates if you stay home with your very pregnant wife?

Don't you also have another young child?


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

tacoma said:


> Yes, it's unreasonable for you to go.
> 
> Seriously, this Stag holiday while your wife is pregnant will become a focal point during your counseling sessions ten maybe twenty years from now if you go.



:iagree:
This will bite you on the A** in years to come! A one night celebration would be a compromise, a whole week? no.


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## Wanting1 (Apr 26, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> Any good father and husband who had a choice would.
> Some people have to work overseas, away from home for long period.
> Being ex military I know that if you are on deployment you may not be able to get home leave. A friend of mine was told by the OC "you have to be there for the laying of the keel but attendance at the launching is not compulsory"


Well, he does have a choice doesn't he? I wouldn't put stag party attendance on the same level of military deployment to a war zone.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

How could you even think of doing that when your wife is about to give birth?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

You're a married man and a soon to be father. Your priorities lie with your pregnant wife, not celebrating some guy's last days of freedom. Leave that to his single friends.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Piling on. Same answer.


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