# Does the roller coaster ever end?



## Cris7 (Oct 12, 2012)

Hi everyone. I don't know how to post a link to my past threads explaining my situation but long story short I got the ILYBNILWY speech the end of sept. 2012. He then started an EA with a much younger co worker on Oct.17 and I found out about it on Nov. 16th and it ended. They still work together, but I feel pretty confident now that there isn't anything going on. My husband decided to stay and make it work. 

There was a shift in his feeling towards me and he felt in love with me again from dec2012 until around the beginning of Feb. then work started stressing him, I had an accident with our van and we had stopped date nights due to not having enough time because of his job. He started becoming distant and when I asked him about it he would say everything is fine but I knew it wasn't. Impressed him and he said that he didn't know why, but he wasn't feeling that connection with me anymore. That was a week ago. I told him I didn't think it was a big deal, that couples go through lulls and we just had to get on track again. He has seemed more upbeat the past few days. I just can't shake the feeling that he's moving backwards instead of forward. I guess I just need advice. I know we are in the beginning stage of rebuilding. Should I try and not be so sensitive to his every mood and just give him space?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like the 'friendship' with the co worker is on again, or at the very least, he has feelings for her. I went through the exact same thing as you are going through.

How do you know the EA is over?
Does he give you access to everything?
Even so, my H continued his EA with the co worker on and off for nearly a year, and despite all my best efforts to check on him, snoop, etc he managed to keep it hidden. I only found out when the OWs H contacted me.

Is she married? If so you need to expose to her H.


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

I think you need to give him as much space as he wants. Stop asking him what is wrong and start going out on your own. This happened to me the last time that my husband decided to give our marriage a second chance. Instead of giving him the space he wanted, I suffocated him. He left me saying it wasn't going to work and he doesn't feel anything for me anymore. I am convinced that it is a midlife crisis and I know that there isn't another woman involved. I am giving him all the space he needs now and only responding to him when he makes the first move. I'm hoping that he will wake up one day and realise that he wants to be with me again, but until that time I know I have to rebuild my life as a single parent.


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