# Discovered Secret Facebook Account



## mrniceguy1968 (Jan 17, 2012)

Hello all, new here and needing some advice how to handle this.

My fiance and I have been together nearly two years, have been living together 10 months and have been engaged for four months. She is not working at the moment and therefore spends most of her days at home. Mostly I'd rate our relationship as very very good.

I've never been a paranoid or suspicious person, have never once doubted any partner that I've been with before regarding infidelity, however right now I am really struggling. My fiance has never really shown any of the typical signs of infidelity, but there have been a few things she has done that have made me scratch my head, mostly involving Facebook. For example, not so long ago all of a sudden she started adding men as friends...lots of them, most of them single and none of them she knows personally. I know she's the one requesting them for reasons I won't go into details about. Aside from those occasional instances mainly I just have a feeling that something is wrong. I can't shake it nor can I help it no matter how hard I try to dismiss these feelings as paranoia.

As I mentioned, she doesn't display the "normal" warning signs of infidelity and I am not a suspicious person by nature. Anyway, earlier today I came across a Facebook profile by chance - my fiance's name, no profile picture and set completely to private so I couldn't see a thing or know for sure it is her. However the fact there is one mutual friend who just happens to be my fiance's best friend leads me to believe that is has to be her.

I am looking for advice on what to do and how to handle this. Should I talk to her? Should I let it slide and keep an eye on things? Should I be suspicious or am I just being paranoid?

Thanks.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Could it be an old account she never really used? maybe she made that page and forgot password/etc. My sister has a ghost profile like that. I'm a friend on it too.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Yes you should talk to her. You should flesh this all the way out before you get married. If there is an issue getting married will make it worse not better. If she's keeping secrets from you - that's a problem. You need to get the answers and be comfortable with them and then make a decision about the future of the relationship and any marriage plans need to be on hold until you do. 

I wouldn't approach her like I was accusing her of something, I'd just calmly and rationally say - hey this is what I know and I'm not comfortable with it - what's the deal?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I found H's Facebook account; after he swore up and down he didnt' have one anymore, hated FB, had deleted the account, etc. After some proper investigating, realized that it was his old account from a few years ago, brought back to life. They (Facebook) do that. Don't worry too much about it (if there are no other signs).


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## mrniceguy1968 (Jan 17, 2012)

I've thought about the ghost account, but I don't think that's what it is. If it were there should be several more mutual friends - her children for example. I'm going to casually and non-confrontationally bring it up in conversation tonight as a matter of curiosity. Something along the lines of - "Hey, do you have an old facebook account you don't use anymore? One came up in my friend suggestions today." Something like that anyway and watch what her response is.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

While I like the "it came up as a suggested friend" approach, I wouldn't go so far as to provide a possible explantation to her (the "ghost account"). Just go with the first part and see what explanation SHE comes up with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Good idea; by the way, there is nothing wrong with asking; ever.


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## MoMo (Jan 16, 2012)

Well, as they say, where theres smoke, there's usually F I R E.............if youve never had any reason to doubt her before but now find yourself scratching your head.........thats usually a sign that something is wrong, so I say go with your gut--the first time I ever aught my husband cheating--I just came right out and looked him straight in the face and told him that I found a fake yahoo profile and messages on his computer that shouldnt be there--If you are usually pretty open and straightforward in your relationship, this shouldnt be very hard to do. All it took was the stunned look and the fact that all the blood drained from his face to convince me that my suspicions were true..........very very TRUE. He denied it then and 12 years later he always denies that he is having an emotional/ online or physical affair WHILE he is having it............but when its over.............he always apologizes and tells me he will never do it again............Like I said, 12 years, a divorce and reconciliation attempt later.........Im still waiting for him to make one final apology and quit the lying. So far, no luck...............


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

:wtf:


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

mrniceguy1968 said:


> I've thought about the ghost account, but I don't think that's what it is. If it were there should be several more mutual friends - her children for example. I'm going to casually and non-confrontationally bring it up in conversation tonight as a matter of curiosity. Something along the lines of - "Hey, do you have an old facebook account you don't use anymore? One came up in my friend suggestions today." Something like that anyway and watch what her response is.


That's definitely a good way to go about it, but like Grayson mentioned, leave out the "ghost account" part and see what she says. Right now, I'd be really suspicious of her adding all sorts of men to her account and hiding it from you. That is highly suspect, IMHO.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Ha, I have at least 2 facebook accounts I started at different times, years ago, and forgot I had. So you could just have found her old account that never got off the ground.

It is not very helpful when you post provocative details and then do not explain--adding men she does not know seems very odd and hardly makes any sense unless she's setting up her own escort service or something. If that is the case, I think you might have something to worry about.


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## discouragedstepmom (Nov 17, 2011)

Just be honest and ask her... no sense in hiding your feelings, if it makes you uncomfortable then ask. She can't get upset with you telling her about something that has been on your mind. If she does get defensive and confrontational then you may have something to worry about.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

After all I've been through I would investigate before saying anything. She will most likely make light of it no matter what the situation is.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

CandieGirl said:


> ....there is nothing wrong with asking; ever.


Sure there is. You need to snoop and mentioning ANYTHING about facebook right now will make her more careful.

Choose one. Friend request her. Make it a mystery. Make it fun. Get her juices flowing, if you know what I mean. Start a wicked inappropriate relationship with her then spring the evidence on her. 

Doesn't matter which account you choose. Either one has problems. The one she's not telling you about or the one she friends hundreds of strange men on.


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## limeyx (Mar 29, 2011)

Go into her account and send your own facebook account a friend request. Then accept the request and see if she says anything !


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