# GF has never gone down



## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

ive never been a huge fan of BJs but it's nice to have the woman you love at least offer once in a while. I've. Been with my girl for 7 months and not once had she much as attempted to go down on me . I go down on her almost every time we make love which is several times a week. Our sex is good other wise but it bothers me that she's never tried makes 
Me feel like she isn't attracted to me although she says she loves my body. I've never mentioned this to her as it really is a relatively small issue for me but should be concerned?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Maybe you should mention it. You said you were never a fan of it so perhaps she doesn't see the point?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

If you told the woman that you're not a fan of blow jobs, why would you be upset that she took you at your word?

:scratchhead:


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

What do you expect?Her to beg you to let her give you one even though you told her you were "meh" not so impressed with them?

She might even think you DONT like them at all therefore shes respecting your wishes..If it doesnt "turn her on " to give them why would she bother?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

She's probably pretty terrible at it anyway.


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## Nicbrownn80 (Mar 20, 2011)

Step 1 is just ask. 
Step 2 might be getting one


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Nicbrownn80 said:


> Step 1 is just ask.
> Step 2 might be getting one


I wanna add to that.

Step 1. Manscape (it helps for it to look inviting)
Step 2. Make sure your clean
Step 3. is just ask
Step 4. might be getting one

Speak up! Just as guys aren't mind readers neither are women.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm curious as to why "it's nice to have the woman you love at least offer once in a while," if you're not a fan of it? It's my guess that the only reason why she doesn't do it is because she knows you're not too keen on it. I know that I would never try to do something that I knew my partner didn't particularly like...

Communicate with her, OP. She can't read your mind.


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

Tell her it makes you feel that she isn't attracted to you when she never does it. Suggest that you take turns. You go down on her for a few minutes, then switch to her going down on you for a few minutes, than switch back. To get the ball rolling until she builds self-confidence in doing it. At first don't do thrusting or expect her to take it deeply and don't cum in her mouth, just compliment her a lot and moan with pleasure even if it is not very skillful. Baby steps. Give her the book 'Tickle his Pickle'.

I don't get why some guys are willing to go down on their wives or GFs all the time without ever getting reciprocation. Just take turns! Why is it fine for you to do it for her, but not vice versa? It's not fair otherwise. If she refuses to even try or acts like a martyr when doing it, I don't think she sounds like a giving enough person to marry. Or maybe has too many hangups or is scarred from past abuse. In that case, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with sexual obstacles like this? Better to raise the issue now and find out the situation before you are engaged or married.

I think couples should have a long detailed talk about sex, finances, and attitudes on lots of things to find out your level of compatibility before considering marriage, instead of thinking love is enough. If this bothers you now, it will bother you a lot more in 10 years.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

If you are not a fan of it then just let it go. You are just making trouble for yourself where no problem exists!


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> I'm curious as to why "it's nice to have the woman you love at least offer once in a while," if you're not a fan of it?


I'm betting you are not a fan of it because you've never had a GF whom you really taught how to please you in this way - your sensitive spots, how much pressure, what rhythm, etc.. If you have a partner willing to learn to do what you like, you would probably become a big fan.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

jaquen said:


> If you told the woman that you're not a fan of blow jobs, why would you be upset that she took you at your word?
> 
> :scratchhead:


Sorry I should've clarified I never mentioned how I feel about receiving oral. I just thought it was odd she never offered.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Just wait until you get married if she's not blowing you now! Oh, boy...you'd better not be a fan of them because you'll never get one.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

franklinfx said:


> Sorry I should've clarified I never mentioned how I feel about receiving oral. I just thought it was odd she never offered.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ah, OK.

Well to be perfectly honest, based off conversations my wife regales me with from talks with her friends, most of them seem to not particularly enjoy giving head. She seems to be the odd woman out in that she loves to give me BJs. The rest of them have "rules". For example one of them hates giving them, but if she needs to she will. But if the guy doesn't cum in 15 minutes, max, she's moving on because that's as much as she can stand.

Maybe some women will never volunteer a blow job, and the only shot you have at it is a request.


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## Mrs Nora Barnacle (May 15, 2012)

I would definitely tell her you would like it every now and again. I had an ex once who mentioned he wasn't a fan and I never went there again. Even if you haven't said this directly she might be getting signals.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Thank for all the feedback ! I think the point I was trying to make was that I really wasn't too concerned about getting the actual BJ , I'm just concerned she isn't attracted to me enough to offer one without asking since IME it's usually the 1st thing a woman wants to do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lifeisnotsogood2 (Sep 1, 2012)

A closed mouth doesn't get fed.


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## nandosbella (Jul 6, 2012)

if my hubs didnt LOVE them i wouldnt give them. and it has nothing to do with being attracted to him! i only like giving them because he's so enthusiastic about receiving them... if he just laid there like a dead fish then i wouldnt consider it. it's not the first thing they go for, hun! talk to her! you'll be happy you did.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> She's probably pretty terrible at it anyway.


Is there such a thing as a bad BJ?

I mean you have to give an "A" for effort....don't you?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Kari said:


> I don't get why some guys are willing to go down on their wives or GFs all the time without ever getting reciprocation.





> If this bothers you now, it will bother you a lot more in 10 years.


The OP has told us that* he *doesn't like receiving oral sex...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Has she given other past partners BJs? Have you ever asked for a BJ? My husband and I never did much of any oral sex even though I would really like him to do oral on me. hes done it once, but has told me that he didn't like to do it. I think I have given him a BJ maybe once, but I really didn't like it at the time. I was uncomfortable and not very confident. Now that I am more confident in my sexual self, I do want to expeirment with giving him a BJ and I would hope he would decide to return the favor for me. I love oral sex and to get it I would give him Oral if he gives me a chance to warm up, get confident and do it my own way at first. 

My husband will not manscape ,and when he was younger and seemed to be more willing to try new sexual stuff, that hair was sa turn off. I still would like him to man scape. All you have to do is trim up the hair a bit. 

I would suggest to have a sex talk with her about what you are curiuos about. Tell her she can do anything she wants to do with your member. There are some lubrications you can get for oral sex as well. Maybe stop by an adult store and get a few things


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

I would take it as a sign. If she isn't showing initiative in your sex life now, it will only get worse when you add the pressures of married life and parenting.

I think, in order to have the best chance of a satisfying sex life in later years, you need to marry a woman who actively seeks to please you sexually from the beginning.

If you start with an A+ sex life, you may have a C in 25 years. And that's OK. If you start with a C+, you'll be at an F in 25 years. And that's not OK.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Maybe you're not a fan because you've never had a good one.

My suggestion is either ask for one or get in a position for her to give you one.

I never asked my wife for one, she never offered or refused. One night I just moved up in bed, put my knees on either side of her chest and she did the rest. If you do this, your GF will either scrunch up her nose and look away or will give it a try.

If she tries and you don't like it, move on o something else.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> Just wait until you get married if she's not blowing you now! Oh, boy...you'd better not be a fan of them because you'll never get one.


That's bs. I never gave my husband a bj before we married but he gets them as often as he wants, since we got married.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> That's bs. I never gave my husband a bj before we married but he gets them as often as he wants, since we got married.


I did but it was at his "coaxing" before marriage..the difference after marraige is I initiate them at least 1/2 the time I do it..including a "just for him " surprise right before we are to leave to go out somewhere..I think it might even be a power trip catching him completely off gaurd like that..

Its like "hang on I forgot something" ...what ??? THIS!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

franklinfx said:


> Thank for all the feedback ! I think the point I was trying to make was that I really wasn't too concerned about getting the actual BJ , I'm just concerned she isn't attracted to me enough to offer one without asking since IME it's usually the 1st thing a woman wants to do.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Honestly? The thought of a BJ never crossed my mind with my husband until AFTER we got married anyway. Neither of the guys I had sex with previously ever voiced that they wanted it. Actually, one said he hated it so I never gave him one. And my reason for not giving my husband one until we married had nothing to do with whether or not I was attracted enough to him. It just never crossed my mind because of MY experience. And, he never had one before me anyway, so it didn't seem to cross his mind either. Now that I think of it, I never got oral til after we married either! LOL


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