# Discovered EX depleted health ins funds



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Just venting, cause i'm 99% sure she screwed me over. My Ex left in September 2011, yet was still on our family insurance. In early November, I tell her I plan to divorce. One week later she depleted over $900 from health insurance fund in November 2011. Now, I knew nothing of this because she was living in another state, she's totally dishonest and I never received any explanation of this or any bills in the mail.

Since we were not divorced at that time, and it wasn't until she was off my insurance in January 2012, there was little I could do. At least that's my understanding. What stinks is my health fund went to zero in March 2012 and all the bills regarding our kids has since has been split 50/50 per divorce decree. Just sucks.

Why bring this up now? Because she had set up our health insurance to go paperless and send EOBs to her work email(which is defunct because she quit over a year ago) until today when I called and did a little investigating. 
Tempted to tell her off, but I won't because if there's nothing I can do, why let her relish in my anger. So that's why I'm here venting. Thanks for letting me vent.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

Your ex is a piece of work, HoustonDad.

I have read a lot of your posts. ....geez.

She is just a mess!


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## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

. Hugs


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Well, at least you HAVE health insurance. My STBXH just conveniently stopped PAYING ours. It got canceled and I had to get new health insurance. My daughter is getting insurance from her college and I'm trying to get my son enrolled in the state health insurance plan. 

My husband? Oh. He's uninsured. Oh well.


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## Luonnotar (Aug 2, 2012)

Hugs to both HoustonDad and Freak.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Yikes....so she is a thief too. Sorry man.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> Just venting, cause i'm 99% sure she screwed me over. My Ex left in September 2011, yet was still on our family insurance. In early November, I tell her I plan to divorce. One week later she depleted over $900 from health insurance fund in November 2011. Now, I knew nothing of this because she was living in another state, she's totally dishonest and I never received any explanation of this or any bills in the mail.
> 
> Since we were not divorced at that time, and it wasn't until she was off my insurance in January 2012, there was little I could do. At least that's my understanding. What stinks is my health fund went to zero in March 2012 and all the bills regarding our kids has since has been split 50/50 per divorce decree. Just sucks.
> 
> ...





Freak On a Leash said:


> Well, at least you HAVE health insurance. My STBXH just conveniently stopped PAYING ours. It got canceled and I had to get new health insurance. My daughter is getting insurance from her college and I'm trying to get my son enrolled in the state health insurance plan.
> 
> My husband? Oh. He's uninsured. Oh well.


Yeah... I had something similar happen last fall, too...

STBXW had been living in the spare bedroom for about months at the time. We had been planning for the divorce, since the 6 month mark for a no-fault divorce in our state was approaching.

We had the whole family on her company's insurance plan, since it was better coverage and far cheaper than what we could get with my employer. When her open enrollment came around last fall, she had to re-enroll. One of the questions on the form was something like, "Do you expect to me married to this person _[referring to me, the spouse]_ for the next year." She answered no, and cancelled me off the plan.

She never warned me about it ahead of time, and didn't tell me afterwards until weeks after my own open enrollment was already over.

My medical coverage would have ended at the beginning of the new year, and would not have qualified for COBRA or any other assistance, since I was voluntarily removed from the plan. I would have been without medical insurance until either the divorce was final or until January 2014.

Fortunately, my HR rep snuck me in on a crazy loophole, and got me enrolled very late. My new insurance just kicked in today... I've been without for the last month.


Pb.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Also...

Are you already divorced?

If not, this can be addressed in the divorce agreement... She can be made to compensate you for joint assets that she uses for personal benefit.


Pb.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Luonnotar said:


> Hugs to both HoustonDad and Freak.


I'll take a hug but I need a drink more! :absolut:


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Pbartender said:


> When her open enrollment came around last fall, she had to re-enroll. One of the questions on the form was something like, "Do you expect to me married to this person _[referring to me, the spouse]_ for the next year." She answered no, and cancelled me off the plan.
> 
> She never warned me about it ahead of time, and didn't tell me afterwards until weeks after my own open enrollment was already over..


That's pretty harsh.  She could've at least told you in advance. I called my H up and asked if he intended to pay the health insurance. He said "No" and I said "Consider it canceled then."..and I did just that. I got myself on a single plan, got my daughter in with her school and I've applied for the state plan for all of us but primarily for my son, who is without right now. I have no choice because I can't afford it and my H won't pay. 

My husband is without health insurance and has asked me what to do. I pretty told him that he's on his own. 

We are in the middle of working out our divorce settlement so I hold my tongue and sugar coat my words with him but I'd love to really take him down big time for all the crap he's pulled.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

PBartender - at least you have a change in circumstance - a separation/divorce is a change that allows you to make changes to health insurance during periods other than open enrollment. If you haven't already, talk to HR.

Houstondad - Well, at least it was only $900. It's still a big chunk but since I use an HSA, I try to accumulate at least $4K in there to cover my maximum out of pocket.


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## Dreald (Aug 30, 2012)

I was married to my ex for only 14 months. Bought her a damn nice engagement/wedding ring to the tune of $17,500 (even then she said we could 'upgrade' it for our 5 year anniversary). 

She also took out $5k in our joint checking account when I removed my pre-marital funds because she falsely accused me of being 'in fear of her life because I had guns in the house' and claimed 'assault' when I threw a cup of water on her to stop her from hitting me. All in all I spent over $50k on her during that short time and she still had the audacity to say she wasn't leaving the marriage unless I made her "whole". 

Selfish, entitled princess to say the least. If we had dated longer than 5 months I could've seen through her deceit and manipulation. But she seemed like such a perfect life partner that I went for it, bait line and hook. Only after we were married did she show me who she really was.

P.S. Yeah, I don't think I'll marry again. Love and live with a great woman? Absolutely.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> PBartender - at least you have a change in circumstance - a separation/divorce is a change that allows you to make changes to health insurance during periods other than open enrollment. If you haven't already, talk to HR.


Right. But by my employer's rules, separation doesn't count, only divorce... and it doesn't count as a change in circumstance until the divorce is actually finalized. STBXW has been dragging her feet on actually getting that done, so who knows when that would finally happen.

As I mentioned above, I already have talked to HR. They managed to sneak me in and let enroll (very) late on a technicality. My coverage just started back up this week, but I was without medical insurance for the whole month of January.


Pb.


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## Baffled01 (Mar 14, 2012)

Pbartender said:


> Right. But by my employer's rules, separation doesn't count, only divorce... and it doesn't count as a change in circumstance until the divorce is actually finalized. STBXW has been dragging her feet on actually getting that done, so who knows when that would finally happen.
> 
> As I mentioned above, I already have talked to HR. They managed to sneak me in and let enroll (very) late on a technicality. My coverage just started back up this week, but I was without medical insurance for the whole month of January.
> 
> ...


Our Divorce was just final, and our companies policy is the non-employee spouse HAS to be removed from the coverage. It's not a choice. I still cover our two children, but my ex right now has no health coverage, despite my urging her to get some through her job.


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