# At a loss



## tsatago (Jan 17, 2013)

Hi 

I really need some advise! Urgently.  

Iv'e been married for six months now. Things between my husband and I have not been okay since the beginning of our marriage. We never lived together before our marriage, so adjustment to married life and staying together was and is still pretty tough.

My H has a habit of breaking my boundaries, since before we got married, things like coming late, lying to me, constantly visting me while under the influence of alcohol etc. 

I have developed a temper problem because I do not know how to handel the fact that he keeps breaking boundaries that I have made for myself. I has come to the point where I shout and curse when I am upset. I Really do not like the person I am becoming. I have become verbally abusive. And this is wh
is why I want to leave the relationship before it gets worse.

About 3 months into our marriage, we go into a physical fight, I had a glass of wine, he came 
home late under the influence of alcohol. I pressured to find out where he was, he ignored me 
so I got pissed. I was pissed at him for ignoring me, for always running to alcohol when we
have issues etc, I lost control and I threw him with water and shoved him. It has become a 
habit for me to become physical when we argue. I guess he had enough that night, so he lost 
lost it. He hit me pretty badly, nearly killed me. When I tried to leave he locked the door, I 
panicked thinking that he was gonna kill me so I ran to our room and locked the door. I was so 
scared I ended up calling my dad. I managed to get out. Stayed at my parents house for a few
days. 

long story short, we got into counseling, we were put on anti-depressants, and it seemed to 
work for a while.

Now I'm at a point where I just don't want to be with him anymore, I want out. We only have 
sex when he wants to do it. He doesn't want me to touch him. He is addicted to watching TV, 
we never do anything romantic unless I suggest it. I just don't trust him anymore, I don't trust him with 
my heart. He constantly checks out other women when im with him and I don't look much different from
when we first met. He shows no emotion what so ever. I'll speak to him calmly about what bothers me 
and he'll ignore me. He just ignores me like i'm not there.

I really want out I don't know where to start. I feel like i'm going crazy. I feel like he brings out the 
worst in me. Someone please help me.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Why don't you make him leave? File a restraing order. If you don't feel safe at home leave go with friends or family until the court divides your assets. But leave him. What's keeping you there?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tsatago (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't feel unsafe, I stay because, its only been 6 months since we got married and I do love him. But I can't take it anymore. I scared of disappointing my parents, his parents etc. 

I feel like he's lazy, always sleeps late and wakes up late for work, he doesn't have his drivers license and he's not making any effort to get it either. I don't look up to him the way I used to anymore. 

I really wish I could just switch of my feeling and just walk away with no regrets!


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