# He cheated and had a kid!



## Intime143 (Jun 5, 2013)

I am new at this. I am one who does not speak much about my marriage so bare with me please. I have been married 7 and a half years, we married pretty young I had a one kid going into the marriage as he had two. Then had two kids together. My marraige with him wasnt always perfect, but I want to say we manage it all well. we had our share of fights and great memories. I cant say I was the perfect wife but I did what was needed to keep our family together. We fought all the time because I kept feeling he was cheating and I couldnt let it go. Even though I knew he was not faithful I still loved him and was in it till the end. 
sooo...long story short my husband got deported two years ago and our marriage was rocky when this happend but I stood by him. I have been supporting him in every way I could while living in the US being a single mother. It was hard and my hell!!!

Come to find out this April he was cheating on me and they have a kid thats is about two years old !!! I have also come to find out there was many he cheated with while he was here. 
This all tore my world apart because I gave everything to him to make things work. I dont understand how he could do this. That girl and kid have being going to vistit him and he hid it from me all along. claims he was comming foward so he can really make our marirage work out and was afraid of loosing me and it was hard since he didnt want to just leave the other kid without a father. 

I have filed for a divorce. I am ashame in myself for still loving him, my kids are so sad of all this and I try so hard to keep a smile on my face so they do not see my pain! (but i am complety broken inside) I have already told our close family memebers and they support me which I feel is great. 

I guess I am here for support since I never went threw anything like this. I need a view from another angle of someone who does not know either of us. 

I can still after all this pain say I love him. But I don't feel I can stay with him because of the kid...


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

I am so sorry you are going through this. The emotions that you feel and need to get through when dealing with betrayal is monumental. 

The best advice I can give is to read Codependency no more, Web of lies (life with a narcissist) and socializing with many friends. call friends you have not spoke to in a while. Go to target, movies, starbucks, gym or anywhere to occupy your time.

I went through shock, sadness, anger, denial, more anger, sorrow and am rounding the corner to acceptance. Although on any given day, I can still go through these emotions when interacting with STBX. 

I waited for my stbx to wake up and realize what he was missing, what he would be giving up, waited for an apology during our 2 year separation and never got any of this. I got bull**** sayings, like, you will never forgive me - meanwhile posting on twitter things his DUI tramp and him did that weekend. 

I finally accepted the fact my 17 yr marriage was over and filed. We are in the home stretch now and I can not wait till it is over. 

My STBX still tries to control me with house suggestions, etc but now I just ignore him. 

Hang in there..... It will get better once you find yourself again. takes time...


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Sorry this is happening to you. 

Just because you love him doesn’t mean he is the right person for you. Sounds like he is a serial cheater. This indicates a huge lack of respect for you and for your marriage. 

I agree with Intime. Keep busy. Work on yourself. Don’t feel ashamed that you still love him, but don’t let it hold you back.


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