# horrible dreams



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Ever since my ex told me she has a boyfriend, the horrible dreams have started up again. How do you make them stop?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Not sure you do.

When I posted about my dreams here recently - I was told to think about what they might mean. Just another lousy part of the healing process...


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

My latest dream is that I'm diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and I'm all alone, noce huh?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> My latest dream is that I'm diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and I'm all alone, noce huh?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Proud, I mean this will all due respect - grow a pair. Dreams are a manifestation of your subconscious, nothing more. Shake them off. Move forward. It's ok to be scared of an uncertain future. But man-o-man... remember your progress and reasons WHY you're better off without her.

For the record, I have inoperable cancer and am all alone. Mine can be treated for a time, but there is no cure. I've yet to start treatment but have been living with cancer for over three years. 

I have chosen to move forward. You can too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

canguy66 said:


> Proud, I mean this will all due respect - grow a pair. Dreams are a manifestation of your subconscious, nothing more. Shake them off. Move forward. It's ok to be scared of an uncertain future. But man-o-man... remember your progress and reasons WHY you're better off without her.
> 
> For the record, I have inoperable cancer and am all alone. Mine can be treated for a time, but there is no cure. I've yet to start treatment but have been living with cancer for over three years.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

canguy66 said:


> Proud, I mean this will all due respect - grow a pair. Dreams are a manifestation of your subconscious, nothing more. Shake them off. Move forward. It's ok to be scared of an uncertain future. But man-o-man... remember your progress and reasons WHY you're better off without her.
> 
> For the record, I have inoperable cancer and am all alone. Mine can be treated for a time, but there is no cure. I've yet to start treatment but have been living with cancer for over three years.
> 
> ...



Wow, isn't that some cold water on the face.

Sorry about what you are going through Canguy. That is some great perspective though and appreciate you sharing that for proud.

:iagree:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You have no control over your dreams.

Try to think positive thoughts before you fall asleep.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Can,
I feel like the biggest fool and idiot for complaining about my situation, I apologize to you. 

@Traggy,
Yeah this is an example of "it can always be worse", I feel like a horse's rear end.


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

You're a good man, Proud.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

No need to apologize. Our pain is individual, relative and real to each and every one of us.

I do not mean to belittle your or anyone else's troubles. That said, there comes a point when it's time to focus on the positive, always. It's the key to the door that leads us to the other side we keep hearing about.

Choice and perseverance are powerful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SRN (Mar 20, 2012)

I think what everyone is saying is true. Get some perspective, think positive thoughts. If you can, try and change the location you're sleeping in. I haven't had any bad dreams since I started staying at my parents house until my new place is ready.
I have been having more and more day dreams, though. Thats annoying, but not nearly as disturbing as the night dreams could be.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Proud: Everytime I have a bad dream involving STBXW (I usually have dreams of her cheating on me with close friends and strangers) it's because I've been thinking about the situation right before going to bed. Change that. Before going to bed do something distracting, something that doesn't remind you of your ex. Read an interesting book, play a videogame, watch a movie, anything that will take your mind away from her.

Canguy: I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Guys like you are an inspiration to all of us. I've learned not to complain too much. Everytime I feel like complaining I think about the millions of kids around the world who don't have nothing to eat (very sad). GOOD LUCK!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Proud, just do what I do...

Don't sleep.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

Proud, 

Take control. Try fantasizing about something as you fall asleep...like being a rock star on stage, being a hero and rescuing someone from a fire, ....or giving a 24 year old a massage. 

Take control of your thoughts during the day, it will help retrain your brain and help you have good dreams at night.

You need to take control. Our brains are so powerful. You need to take control of yours.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Hey Proud... I'm not sure if it was this post or my getting an old friend up to speed on my separation, but I went to bed way too late, and could no take a sleeping pill. I had dreams of my ex. I don't remember the details, but I remember feeling unpleasant. I got out of bed, got ready, and whistled on my way to work. 

You need to ask yourself: what's the true nightmare? In my case it would have been living in an unfulfilling marriage. 

Despite the pain, I now have an opportunity to find a much happier, loving and supportive relationship. I'm starting to realize the hell ride of the past four months was worth it.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I agree with you, my true nightmare is not what I'm currently going through, it would've been staying married to a woman that doesn't truly love me, appreciate me for the amazing person I am
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> I agree with you, my true nightmare is not what I'm currently going through, it would've been staying married to a woman that doesn't truly love me, appreciate me for the amazing person I am
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You're doing fine.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Proud: Don't you feel good about standing up for yourself and loving you. Putting you first for once. Something weird happened to me last night. I was triggering. STBXW was alone. I have the kid for two days and I started thinking about her and OM alone in the apt. Thankfully instead of having bad dreams about that I had a nice dream about hooking up with a super hot girl. Thanks to the God of dreams. 

Like Bandit said, you're fine.


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