# Am I being too jealous ? Ladies please help



## Jlos (Jan 24, 2012)

I've been married for 6 years, been together for 9 years total. A few months ago my wife started acting different. I was working long hours and attending college. She started attending baseball games weekly even when I wouldn't agree to her going to them. She started going out with her friends and coming home at 3:00 in the morning, when I would talk to her about it she would say that she wasn't going to be a grandma and stay home all the time. I caught her playing a game on her phone with her x,when I confronted her about that issue she said that she didn't think it was a big deal.Today we were supposed to go to her cousins house for a surprise party. My wife was on the phone with her cousins GF and my wife said that she had texted a cousin of the cousins GF which is a guy. I was really irritated to hear this because I didn't know my wife had that guys phone number, plus she has him on face book. I've lost trust in my wife and I've tried to move out of the house, but each time she assures me that she loves me. Am I being too jealous or is this a legit reason to worry.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Set some boundaries. Along the lines of no casual contact with the opposite sex outside of a job. This works well for my husband and I.

Going out and coming home at 3am is a red flag! My ex h did that, except it was 5am and he'd be sleeping around with other women. I guess it would depend what time the bar closes. My hubby and I stay home together. 3x's a week he swims, but he's only gone for no more then two hours. My husband is a triathlete, so swimming is a must. He will bring our oldest daughter there too, to swim. I never leave the house. We prefer to stay home as a family, it's what makes us happy. Your wife is certainly showing red flags.

Good luck. I hope you work it all out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

I would say it is a legimate concern. It seems to have started when you were too busy with other things and didn't realize she needed time with you as well.
Does she work? Do you have kids to take care of?
I would ask her up front if she wants to make your marriage work you both need to take time for each other.
It seems like she already found something or someone to take your place. I know you said you were working and going to school but you cannot let your marriage go on cruise control. You need to start paying attention to her so she feels like she matters in your world. I know it seems trivial to you to do the little things like compliment her or send her a flower or send her a text telling her you miss her but it can make a world of difference when there is little to no communication between you. Something I. Hear a lot of men say is you should know I love you. We may know it but we don't always feel it from you. Just by you going to work everyday doesn't count for much because we are working too to provide for the family. Its the little things that mean the most.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

not a lady here but, yes, i would also be worried.
have you checked her phone for texts?
been able to check her e-mails?
i would have her let you see them with out giving her time to go though them.
keylogger!


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## GreenEyes (Jan 27, 2011)

I don't think you're being jealous....I think she's overstepping some of marriages boundaries with her texting and playing games with exes...I just got one of those smart phones and started playing games on them and you have the option to chat with the person you are playing with....which given my H's history I am not all that thrilled knowing...makes me wonder when he plays who he is playing with or talking to....Anywho my H stays out til 3 in the morning once in a while when he goes out, I don't like that either, I think when you are married 3 is pushing the boundaries ....I am usually out without him no later than midnight...I def think she is in the wrong....


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## Live Laugh (Jan 24, 2012)

IA with the others-have open communication about the boundaries that are acceptable with in your marriage. I don't think it's respectful at all that your wife is out till 3am...think about it, would she like it if you did that?


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## Sliver (Oct 18, 2011)

I think you have legit concerns. If you take your eyes off your spouse, sometimes they can slip into trouble.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Jlos said:


> She started going out with her friends and coming home at 3:00 in the morning,


Do you have any idea how many men she's met when she's out until 3AM? How many strange men she's partied with? Flirted with? Danced with? The occasional drunken kiss? She doesn't go out to bond with her girlfriends and sometimes meet men. She goes out with the INTENT to meet and party with men. And she does. From the time she walks into the club until the final goodnight kiss. She is basking in the attention and lust of predators. And LOVES it. It's what these nights are all about. 

And I'll bet she's never told you about a single one. Ever wonder if she's thinking about that particularly hot guy she was with all night last night? I'll bet she does. Fondly. And in the few hours they were connecting, he made himself out to be a hero. And you're just...you. 

That would be the response I would give you if there weren't all of these other red flags. Add all of the rest of the thread, and I'll bet there's been more than just a little drunken kissing on these nights out. Play with fire long enough, and a married woman clubbing with her gal pals is fire, you WILL get burned.

I'll say it for the hundredth time: Why do you think they call these places meat markets? And men are still wondering if it's OK for their wives to attend the party without them.

Good luck with this one. You need it..


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Boundaries. A storm is brewing. There is no reason why a married woman should be out repeatedly til 3 a.m.


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