# One month divorced, exwife has date...



## Shooboomafoo

Yeah, I had hoped to be out of this house before all that happened, but it looks like I didnt escape in time.
I get to watch her get ready for her date tonite, in her words "invited by "someone" to go out".

I just think it blows, hard to take. Not that I didnt expect it at some time, just wish I couldve been outta here first.

So,, I shout my majic word to the sky...SHOOBOOMAFOO!!! mthrfkrs....


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## Lostouthere

Sorry your having to witness this. My wife was doing all this before the divorce was final and did not think I knew but hey I guess he done me a favor at least I found out now.

Keep your head up I could not imagine going through this living together.


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## bowhunter

I feel for you man, I haven't had to cross that bridge yet, but I know it is coming before too long. That will take me back about 10 steps from the progress I have made so far. I know it is coming but I still won't be prepared for it when the reality sets in. This crap stinks to high heaven that is for sure, for sure.


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## nice777guy

My wife is at a "cookout" tonight. They normally last until around 6am...

Yes - it sucks...


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## raising5boyz

If only we all lived close....maybe a game night to get our minds off everything else? Sounds fun to me anyways....there is something about being around others who really know what you are going through! 

So...about ex's going out....the night we signed the D papers, my now ex...stbx at the time, was in such a rush to meet up with some chick that he didn't even read the D papers. He just signed them and ended up SCREWED in court! Bittersweet.


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## nice777guy

raising5boyz said:


> If only we all lived close....maybe a game night to get our minds off everything else? Sounds fun to me anyways....there is something about being around others who really know what you are going through!
> 
> So...about ex's going out....the night we signed the D papers, my now ex...stbx at the time, was in such a rush to meet up with some chick that he didn't even read the D papers. He just signed them and ended up SCREWED in court! Bittersweet.


Nice to know things work out for the best sometimes!!!


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## Shooboomafoo

Well, she did it. She went on her date.
Our kid had a sleepover at a friends house, (unfortunately one of my exwifes friends who was a faciliator of her irrational thinking due to the divorce she was going thru at the time, they were divorcee buddies, despite the vast differences in the situations...), but our kid was sleeping over at their house anyways. 
The ex and our daughter got home at 2pm the next day.

I sat outside in my EX-yard in my EX chair, and asked God why it had to be like this. Why I had to see things like this, and endure it. Why the new house I was trying to move into was stumbling block after stumbling block, and that it couldnt just go smoothly. Didnt He want was was best for me? Why would I have to continue to see her do this stuff and continue to hurt. Silly me to expect some sense of consideration for anything. It is my fault for applying "reason" and expecting "rational thinking" from someone who has completely lost her mind. 
Sometimes its so awfully hard not to think this is some sort of karma happening to me, for something I mustve done some time in the past.
I dont know.
I'm fkked up. I wish this could have gone more smoothly, and I could have gotten out sooner. 

I know that if one more person says to me "It Is what It Is", I am going to regurgitate.


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## ing

I sat here for quiet a while trying to think of something to say. 

Then I realized that you are on a new journey. One without the cruelty and demands of your previous wife. 

It is a life where you will be in demand and you will find a person who feels something like this about you, if you want it. 

You will find yourself wondering why you held the flame so long.

Pink - I Touch Myself - Live in Australia 2009 DVD - Funhouse Tour - YouTube


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## Scannerguard

Are you still sleeping in the same bed?

I would be looking for the exit if I was out on a date with her and I learned that.

"Waiter. . .could you bring the check please?"


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## that_girl

She's a b!tch.

Seriously, how rude. I would have gone over to a girlfriend's house to get ready.


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## Shooboomafoo

Oh yeah. Still sleeping in the same bed. One month after divorce, and uh, yeah. Its not from a sense of trying to cling to her or our past or anything. Maybe its obstinance? I dont know. I dont think about it much. Ive been focused on the new house, and trying to get into it as soon as freaking possible. All these hiccups with it makes for a long week. I am hoping I can get everything including closing resolved in no more than 2 weeks. 
Plus, we bought that bed back in Dec of last year. While she was still carrying on with her secret EA, she had me convinced we were trying to work things out. These were her words, that she wanted to work things out. We had an old mattress we had slept on for years and years, that was fit to be burned. It got so bad that we both had backaches and all. So in the midst of our "false R" we got the idea to go get a new bed and see if we could get better sleep.
She talked me into cosigning on the credit card for the mattress store, and I also had to lay a few hundred down because the available credit didnt cover the cost of the bed. Yeah, you'd think it was made of pea**** feathers and gold threads.
It was a realllllly niiiiice mattress. Slept so great.
But it was purchased with my investment, under a false promise of working things out. While things were still going on strong between her and OM.
So,, my current frame of mind is like,, fk it. Im going to sleep in that bed until the day I move out, and if shes uncomfortable with me in it, then theres always the couch.
I will be damned if I sleep on the couch after all this.

I have had a revelation. 
I am looking forward to passing on that baton.
This dog bit the hand that feeds it way too many times, and its time to turn it loose.


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## Shoeguy

Shoo, 
While she is out of the house why not cut the bed down the middle and put up cardboard or wood as a divider? That way you have your half and she has hers.

Just a thought.


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## nice777guy

Shooboomafoo said:


> Oh yeah. Still sleeping in the same bed. One month after divorce, and uh, yeah. Its not from a sense of trying to cling to her or our past or anything. Maybe its obstinance? I dont know. I dont think about it much. Ive been focused on the new house, and trying to get into it as soon as freaking possible. All these hiccups with it makes for a long week. I am hoping I can get everything including closing resolved in no more than 2 weeks.
> Plus, we bought that bed back in Dec of last year. While she was still carrying on with her secret EA, she had me convinced we were trying to work things out. These were her words, that she wanted to work things out. We had an old mattress we had slept on for years and years, that was fit to be burned. It got so bad that we both had backaches and all. So in the midst of our "false R" we got the idea to go get a new bed and see if we could get better sleep.
> She talked me into cosigning on the credit card for the mattress store, and I also had to lay a few hundred down because the available credit didnt cover the cost of the bed. Yeah, you'd think it was made of pea**** feathers and gold threads.
> It was a realllllly niiiiice mattress. Slept so great.
> But it was purchased with my investment, under a false promise of working things out. While things were still going on strong between her and OM.
> So,, my current frame of mind is like,, fk it. Im going to sleep in that bed until the day I move out, and if shes uncomfortable with me in it, then theres always the couch.
> I will be damned if I sleep on the couch after all this.
> 
> I have had a revelation.
> I am looking forward to passing on that baton.
> This dog bit the hand that feeds it way too many times, and its time to turn it loose.


The bed thing sounds pretty darn familiar. I also refuse to sleep anywhere else. We have a very large body pillow - and usually a medium sized dog in between us.

Gonna miss the dog...


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## bowhunter

"It Is what It Is", I am going to regurgitate.[/QUOTE]

I heard this from my ex I don't know how many times, the last time she said it I replied yes It is what it is and we just don't see it the same way. I hate the phrase and it just pisses me off!! sorry got a little carried away when I read that.


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## england 75

The best advice is to get out there yourself and join a dating site or something... Why should you be the one sitting in feeling pissed.


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## AppleDucklings

Shoo, my ex husband, before we were divorced, while we were still living together, would get ready for his dates right in front of me. He'd come home from work, take a shower, put on nice clothes, put on cologne, walk around the house while getting ready, talking to her on the phone, laughing. Then she would come to my house to pick him up. At the time, we only had one car between us so he would, in his words, "Let me keep the car just in case I needed it to go anywhere if something happened with the kids." Gee, how nice of him.
Shoo, I am sorry. I know from my own personal experience how hard it is.


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## Shooboomafoo

Just a finalizing note for this thread. I am moved into my own house now, have been for three weeks. Furniture is all set up, just about got everything out of boxes, and have had my little girl come stay with me this week. 
I am beginning to feel the peace. the burden is lifting. I slept on my own couch in my own house because I WANTED to,,, well okay, that and few glasses of wine helped... 
Just so nice to be away from the ex. 

theres an interesting note about this house buying stuff.
My earlier concerns in posts regarding how long it was taking, and things like that, were made without the knowledge of what the total costs were involved with buying a house. Things such as inspections, and surveys, title insurance and then oops, need a fridge...
The interesting note is that key steps of moving into this house, just so happened to come together shortly after a payday here at work, which ensured that I had the funds available to handle the financial surprises. 
Sort of lets a man feel "looked after".


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## i.bellagardner

You should really move out there. It's hard to be with the person who keeps hurting you. And, sorry to hear that.


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## Freak On a Leash

For those who post without reading prior posts:



Shooboomafoo said:


> Just a finalizing note for this thread. I am moved into my own house now, have been for three weeks.


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## Freak On a Leash

Shooboomafoo said:


> I slept on my own couch in my own house because I WANTED to,,, well okay, that and few glasses of wine helped...


Best part of being single. You can do whatever the F*** you please when you please! :smthumbup:


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## Shane Jimison

In this context no one can do anything .It is her life she can do whatever you want.


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## MissHim

I had a date right away. It means nothing. My ex husband is remarried. I am not. I wanted the divorce, he didn't. Things change trust me. 

Being in my late 40's I would say it is much easier for men, more so than I could have ever realized. Divorce is horrifying, it should not happen, this is my biggest regret. But also just making general comments, like how much I think it sucks to be my age and dating. And it's all my fault.


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