# Men: Sex while wife was/is pregnant?



## Annizka (Sep 29, 2017)

I?m currently 6 weeks pregnant. Found out a little over a week ago that I was. Ever since we?ve found out I?m pregnant, our sex has gone down. The most we?d go without is a day. Now it?s been maybe 3 or 4 day?s. Last time we tried having sex, husband stopped in the middle and said sorry, he can?t go on because he?s afraid of hurting the baby and that?s all he can think about. 

Gotta admit it hurt me but I said I understand and that was it. Next day he apologized again and I started crying, I just felt rejected. He said again it?s because he didn?t want to hurt the baby, and that we should find a way to do it without hurting it. 

It?s been 3 or 4 days since and he hasn?t initiated and I?m not going to either. A simple google search would have shown him that there?s nothing harmful to the baby, but he hasnt bothered to, and I just feel like he?s not interested in me anymore. 

We used to cuddle and kiss in bed before sleeping, and now he?s not initiating that either. Maybe just a quick kiss. Maybe he?s afraid of me thinking it will lead to sex when he doesn?t want to, so he?s not being affectionate any more? Not sure. 

This hurt me to be honest. I feel like ?hurting the baby? is an excuse. 

He was excited when we found out I am pregnant. He was excited more than I was, so it?s not like he?s down about having a kid. 

For the men, how did you feel about having sex with your pregnant wife? Were you still attracted to her? Can you help me make sense of this?

And to the women, do you have any advice? 

I?d appreciate it.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

I was attracted to my wife all the way thru pregnancy. In a couple of months, you may / will have morning/late morning/early afternoon/evening/night sickness. Certain smells will turn your stomach, and sex MAY be the last thing on your mind.

Is this your first child? I know I was a hesitant, (although we had trouble conceiving our first).

After Dr. assured all was well, we still had intimacy, until the afore mentioned illnesses popped up.

After baby, maybe let hubby taste the twin fountains! Nothing better.

O, and CONGRATS on the upcoming baby!!


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## tom72 (Nov 4, 2017)

Annizka said:


> I?m currently 6 weeks pregnant. Found out a little over a week ago that I was. Ever since we?ve found out I?m pregnant, our sex has gone down. The most we?d go without is a day. Now it?s been maybe 3 or 4 day?s. Last time we tried having sex, husband stopped in the middle and said sorry, he can?t go on because he?s afraid of hurting the baby and that?s all he can think about.
> 
> Gotta admit it hurt me but I said I understand and that was it. Next day he apologized again and I started crying, I just felt rejected. He said again it?s because he didn?t want to hurt the baby, and that we should find a way to do it without hurting it.
> 
> ...


Why not tell him there there are a few positions where he doesn't have to be on top of you?

Don't forget, because your pregnant your emotions are out of whack hence the crying etc.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Get some education for both of you.

Sex during pregnancy is very healthy and fun.

Even vigorous sex will not harm the baby.

When you are getting close to your due date you might start being careful and consult your physician but generally, pregnant women love sex!

Mrs. C couldn't get enough and was very uninhibited!

It is also erotic to be inside the woman you have impregnated. Not sure but I think it is very erotic and comforting to the woman to have the father of her growing baby inside her as well.

Get educated and enjoy!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

The lowering of attraction is not odd at all, no matter how much one "loves" one's wife; it's deep seated in the biological imperative. Evoltionarily speaking, there's no point in having sex with an already pregnant woman.

Some guys just don't want to admit they're not as attracted to a pregnant woman--to themselves as well as to anyone else. So they come fall back on the whole "safety of the baby" thing. Of course, this is easily refutable on a logical/scientific basis, but this is not a logical time, even for the father.

Show him (do anything from a google search to have him accompany you on your next visit to your pregnancy doctor) that there is absolutely no danger to the baby--then ask him what the problem is if he still doesn't come around. You need to let him know that you still desire/expect intimacy and your pregnancy hasn't changed that (at least so far; you may decide otherwise later in the pregnancy). Bottom line: you need him now more than ever and you get to decide in what ways he needs to meet your needs. 

My wife and I not only managed to keep going all the way into the ninth month, and that included finding a position that allowed for intimate lovemaking, that was pleasurable for her, and was absolutely no threat to the baby. We did this three times. While my wife wasn't "into it" as much as before the pregnancy, she did appreciate the continuity of this part of our lives through the pregnancy. There's no way I would deny her that.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Gonna disagree with you @Rocky Mountain Yeti

I was extremely attracted to my wife while she was pregnant and loved sticking it to her.

I think pregnant women are beautiful!

I would probably be weirded out thinking about having sex with some other man's pregnant woman but mine sure fired me up!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Gonna disagree with you @Rocky Mountain Yeti
> 
> I was extremely attracted to my wife while she was pregnant and loved sticking it to her.
> 
> ...


You need not disagree with me--mine was not a blanket statement. Just because I said it wasn't odd didn't mean I implied it is universal... it certainly isn't. Some humans like you are evolved beyond their purely biological drives, but your personal reaction to your wife's pregnancy isn't going to help solve this couple's issue. I offered a possible explanation for hubby's aversion--solving that is the first step in rectifying the problem. Once they get to the root of the problem, they can start to work on the solution.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> You need not disagree with me--mine was not a blanket statement. Just because I said it wasn't odd didn't mean I implied it is universal... it certainly isn't. Some humans like you are evolved beyond their purely biological drives, but your personal reaction to your wife's pregnancy isn't going to help solve this couple's issue. I offered a possible explanation for hubby's aversion--solving that is the first step in rectifying the problem. Once they get to the root of the problem, they can start to work on the solution.


I think he is just worried about hurting the baby myself.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> I think he is just worried about hurting the baby myself.


That would be nice because if so, then this is easily solved.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

You both need to educate yourself on the female reproductive system. Sex will not harm the fetus in any way. The vaginal canal is separated from the uterus by a very small opening - the cervix. So unless the girth of your husband's penis is roughly that of a toothpick, he won't be able to get through the cervix to the uterus (where the baby is). Besides the fact that you would know if his penis was coming into contact with your cervix. Most women find it very painful.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*If memory serves me correctly, but other than for a couple of positions, my XW was most receptive to pregnancy sex! She always seemed to be somewhat horny during both of her pregnancies!

And we continued to have sex right up until a couple of weeks of the due date!*


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Early pregancy was ok as she got bigger.


Sorry wasn't really that attracted to late pregancy. Still made love but was also worried about the baby inside. She ended up bleeding real bad after sex and then was doagnosed as plecenta previa. And then no sex for the last 10weeks.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I did not find my wife as alluring when she was pregnant. But since I find her very sexy, less was still very sexy. We had sex while she was pregnant, although I admit I did stop having sex with her a couple weeks before the due date. She was not pleased with that.

I did NOT stop cuddling her. I did make sure to keep cuddling and kissing and making sure she enjoyed herself as much as she could without intercourse.

There is something else going on than mere concern for the child, it seems to me. Else why not the cuddling?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Annizka said:


> I?m currently 6 weeks pregnant. Found out a little over a week ago that I was. Ever since we?ve found out I?m pregnant, our sex has gone down. The most we?d go without is a day. Now it?s been maybe 3 or 4 day?s. Last time we tried having sex, husband stopped in the middle and said sorry, he can?t go on because he?s afraid of hurting the baby and that?s all he can think about.
> 
> Gotta admit it hurt me but I said I understand and that was it. Next day he apologized again and I started crying, I just felt rejected. He said again it?s because he didn?t want to hurt the baby, and that we should find a way to do it without hurting it.
> 
> ...


Lots of guys mistakenly think this. It's not true though. Try not to take it personal, maybe be look at it like he loves your soon to be child enough to sacrifice something that he loves to do with you. But then both of you educate yourself about it so you can fell better about it. Good luck with the kid by the way.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WilliamM said:


> I did not find my wife as alluring when she was pregnant. But since I find her very sexy, less was still very sexy. We had sex while she was pregnant, although I admit I did stop having sex with her a couple weeks before the due date. She was not pleased with that.
> 
> I did NOT stop cuddling her. I did make sure to keep cuddling and kissing and making sure she enjoyed herself as much as she could without intercourse.
> 
> There is something else going on than mere concern for the child, it seems to me. Else why not the cuddling?


Yup. Missed that. No cuddling and intimate affection is a very strange reaction to the woman carrying your child.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

It's possible that he's worried the cuddling will make him aroused and lead to sex, which he erroneously believes will harm the baby. So he just doesn't want to "go there", so to speak. 

I was very interested in my wife when she was pregnant. I initiated and she laid there like she was dead. That really hurt my feelings, so I stopped initiating after that. Your husband is a lucky man and I hope he learns to appreciate that.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Annizka
For the men, how did you feel about having sex with your pregnant wife? Were you still attracted to her? Can you help me make sense of this?*

I was good having sex with the pregnant W up until about 30 days before the due date per Doctors orders. 

My suggestion is tell your H "doggie style" is perfectly OK / perfect for pregnant women.

OR 
You can joke with your H and tell him what was thought to make the baby stronger. In some societies a long time ago it was said the more semen the woman got from her H (and in some other cases-other men [but don't tell your H this part]) the stronger the baby would be. IE, more sex makes for a better baby.

Anyway, there is no reason to limit sexual activity now and when you are bigger there are several positions that would NOT be uncomfortable for you.

For me, pregnant sex meant one thing, no more worrying about birth control. My W couldn't get PG again at that time so i felt I could go to town and abandon thoughts about family planning. I told myself, "one in the oven" so its time to do all of the sex we both want. Then there was the doctor recommended no sex for 2 to 4 weeks before delivery and a suggested 4 weeks after the delivery so I better stock up while the getting is good. It made my W happy so that was a big plus.


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## Annizka (Sep 29, 2017)

Yes, this is our first child. I didn?t mention sex (because I don?t want to pressure him or force him), but I did talk to him about the decrease in affection towards me recently. He apologized and said it?s because he?s busy thinking about some things at work. He was good and back to cuddling for a day or so, but now since last night he?s changed again. He came home from work today and just feels off again. 

I am starting to resent him. This is a scary time in my life (his too, I know). But I?m going through the physical and emotional changes, and instead of giving me love and affection when I need it most, he?s acting distant. 

And I?m only 6 weeks pregnant. I basically look the same, no belly, not for another few months. So it?s not like I look pregnant. 

I?m not going to initiate anything anymore. I?m tired of trying to bring him out of this mood and him not respond, or go back to it soon after.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Ask him what is so important that he is destroying your marriage.

Say your just curious so you can avoid that trait with your next husband who will be raising your current husband's child with you.

Your husband needs a wake up call. Give him this sharp, verbal blow.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I know easier said then done, but I would try being patient with him since this is your first baby, keep the lines of communication open though. There is a lot going on with your body, and he is dealing with his own emotional response to this. I honestly went through a similar situation when my W got pregnant with our first.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Annizka said:


> For the men, how did you feel about having sex with your pregnant wife? Were you still attracted to her? Can you help me make sense of this?


As a man when you have recently discovered your spouse is pregnant, this is a time of planning preparation to help make provisions for a new member of the family in the near future:



Healthcare providers and insurance policies
Current housing situation and deciding if it is a safe place for a newborn
Baby proofing the house (covering outlets, putting away all small objects)
Career status and options for more income
How much does COBRA cost?
When to discuss maternity leave with an employer
Is the car safe for a newborn
so on and so on...

So imagine the stereotypical male brain that thinks about sex non-stop, all day long, even while sleeping. Now give it huge list of things to be stressed out about (a few listed above), and suddenly making preparations for a new family member is the utmost priority. 

At some point you have to get your spouse to acknowledge that the best way to care for the baby is to give your relationship with one another the utmost priority. A newborn will need two parents that really love one another more than anything else. The rest will happen naturally. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Annizka said:


> I?m currently 6 weeks pregnant. Found out a little over a week ago that I was. Ever since we?ve found out I?m pregnant, our sex has gone down. The most we?d go without is a day. Now it?s been maybe 3 or 4 day?s. Last time we tried having sex, husband stopped in the middle and said sorry, he can?t go on because he?s afraid of hurting the baby and that?s all he can think about.
> 
> Gotta admit it hurt me but I said I understand and that was it. Next day he apologized again and I started crying, I just felt rejected. He said again it?s because he didn?t want to hurt the baby, and that we should find a way to do it without hurting it.
> 
> ...


Yes, my W and I had sex a plenty during pregnancy. Still very attracted before, during and after!


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Back when my wife got pregnant, I was worried that sex would somehow hurt the baby (Didn't know any better). We didn't have sex again till after birth. I suspect that my wife somewhat resented me for the lack of intimacy during that time, but she never said anything to me about it. 

My recommendation would be to have a calm, non-accusatory talk with your husband. Explain to him about pregnancy and sex how you feeling neglected. This is a stressful time for you and you need that reassurance from him. Invite him to come and talk with your OBGYN so they can explain the do's and don'ts of sex during pregnancy.

Don't let these feelings build, they are detrimental to your marriage. I wish my (ex) wife would have said something to me.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

C3156 said:


> Back when my wife got pregnant, I was worried that sex would somehow hurt the baby (Didn't know any better). We didn't have sex again till after birth. I suspect that my wife somewhat resented me for the lack of intimacy during that time, but she never said anything to me about it.
> 
> My recommendation would be to have a calm, non-accusatory talk with your husband. Explain to him about pregnancy and sex how you feeling neglected. This is a stressful time for you and you need that reassurance from him. Invite him to come and talk with your OBGYN so they can explain the do's and don'ts of sex during pregnancy.
> 
> Don't let these feelings build, they are detrimental to your marriage. I wish my (ex) wife would have said something to me.


What would you have changed had your wife mentioned the lack of intimacy to you? I ask for simple curiosity.

My husband was not sexually attracted to me while I was pregnant. He admitted the truth when I brought up the lack of sexual intimacy about 4 months into the pregnancy. I resented him for it for a long time but eventually let it go. I'll never forget but life is too short to hold on to grudges.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Have your ob/gyn discuss this with him.

Assuming it is a normal, healthy pregnancy without any complications, most OB/Gyn's actually *want*their patients to continue active and consistent sexual activity as it has a variety of actual physiological benefits to the pregnancy. 

So assuming that your pregnancy is healthy and without any complications, your OB doctor will actually want you to maintain a sex life.

It is a common concern among men and many people of previous generations were brought up that pregnant women were fragile and delicate and should not be exposed to any kind of physical or sexual activities. 

Your OB deals with this day in and day out all day every day and would be glad to address this with your H.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Lila said:


> What would you have changed had your wife mentioned the lack of intimacy to you? I ask for simple curiosity.
> 
> My husband was not sexually attracted to me while I was pregnant. He admitted the truth when I brought up the lack of sexual intimacy about 4 months into the pregnancy. I resented him for it for a long time but eventually let it go. I'll never forget but life is too short to hold on to grudges.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


 @Lila I think my wife might pose that exact same question as we had a similar experience. 

In addition to stress, the changing logistics of intimacy can be emotionally challenging and demoralizing for a husband. Face to face intimacy in which you can easily kiss your spouse and hug each other closely can make a guy feel like he just does not have the length needed to get the job done. Meanwhile rear entry positions can make a husband feel disconnected as if his wife does not want to look at him during the moment. 

You know how us guys deal with our emotions. We just don't talk about those things, behave awkwardly, and make those around us question themselves. 

To be honest amidst the stress and awkward emotions (that us guys don't understand for ourselves), trying to calmly talk about things would likely just serve to make it even more awkward. If anything, I think a couple would just need to kind of embrace the awkwardness and try to be playful about it instead of trying to have a calm/serious talk...

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

It never slowed down during pregnancy, if anything it became more frequent toward the end to help things along and to get a lot before the birth. 
We did it all, and I mean all during pregnancies. Just had to vary positions as she got less flexible or agile and we were both careful about the baby. Unless he has a foot long he will not be getting any where near the baby. As for attraction, I was always attracted to her.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I had three daughters. I found my wife to be very sexy when she was PG. I still could not bring myself to have sex with her during the time she was PG with our oldest. I WAS AFRAID OF HURTING THE BABY! Even after I knew better, it was still in the back of my mind. So MAYBE he is telling the truth. And believe me, just telling him it will be ok may work for outer feelings, but deep down inside it is a bit tougher. So maybe he is telling the truth. Give him some time, he will probably come around, but rmember this baby means more to him than "she is PG" it is life changing! That could be in play here as well. He is having to come to grips with those changes. just my .02.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

badsanta said:


> @Lila I think my wife might pose that exact same question as we had a similar experience.
> 
> In addition to stress, the changing logistics of intimacy can be emotionally challenging and demoralizing for a husband. Face to face intimacy in which you can easily kiss your spouse and hug each other closely can make a guy feel like he just does not have the length needed to get the job done. Meanwhile rear entry positions can make a husband feel disconnected as if his wife does not want to look at him during the moment.


I understand this could be the concern for some men but it wasn't the case with my husband. I did not start showing until I was 6 months pregnant and then only got "big" (relatively speaking I was still rather small) the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy. 



badsanta said:


> You know how us guys deal with our emotions. We just don't talk about those things, behave awkwardly, and make those around us question themselves.
> 
> To be honest amidst the stress and awkward emotions (that us guys don't understand for ourselves), trying to calmly talk about things would likely just serve to make it even more awkward. If anything, I think a couple would just need to kind of embrace the awkwardness and try to be playful about it instead of trying to have a calm/serious talk...
> 
> ...



It makes me sad sometimes because my husband is a wonderful father who would have loved to have had a large family. I was not about to get pregnant again after having experienced the pain of rejection the first time. Sucks but that's life.


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

My wife was miserably ill for the first half of her pregnancy for the last 2 kids so sex wasn't on her mind at all. Which worked out well because I wasn't very enthusiastic about having sex while a baby was inside her, didn't want to hurt the baby, wasn't very attracted to her, and just seemed wrong. I was still affectionate though, and we did have some sex, just not a lot.


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## hailey_2009 (Nov 3, 2017)

My sister experienced this briefly ... but then started going to bed naked EVERY night. He came around apparently. 

Keeping this one in my arsenal for when I get pregnant -- just in case!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it never stopped me at all. I had to be careful to not bump into her bulge, but that was it.

Have you tried other positions, like dogie style? No chance of hurting the baby that way


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## biwing (Feb 2, 2017)

My wife and I had sex the night before our first son was born. I was worried that the nuns would have found semen in her but nothing was said.

We had sex the day before our daughter was born. 

My wife was a premature neonatel nurse taking care of the newborn so she knew that it was good to have sex. In fact, sex became more diserable during the pregnancy! She was so beautiful and absoultley glowed .......


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

For what it's worth, I absolutely cannot wait to have sex with my pregnant wife. I also can't wait to taste her breast milk. I tell her this and it drives her bonkers. One time, I told her to imagine she had our baby inside of her, and that her girls were "working" as I sucked on them. She had an orgasm from the breast play alone, no joke. Needless to say, we're both pretty excited for pregnancy sex.


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