# I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion



## Sprinkles87

This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.

Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


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## BeyondRepair007

Sprinkles87 said:


> This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


It’s not ironic or weird. In this day and age, marriage is often not connected with a commitment to God or religious principles of marriage. If you had a religious ceremony without actually believing in God…that would be weird.

Having said that, the culture in your country might say otherwise. In which case you should follow your conscience about what the right or wrong thing to do is. You will have to get along with your families, friends, and neighbors long after the wedding.

The main thing in a non-religious marriage would be to have full commitment to one another. In a God-centered marriage, each spouse has first a full commitment to God, and then to each other. The commitment to God becomes the binding force that helps the couple see past the disputes of the day and the troubles of life and focus on the bigger picture. The commitment to God helps the couple stay committed to each other.


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## TexasMom1216

Mine is a civil marriage. We got married in a civil building overseas. It was a wonderful ceremony, all about creating a life and a family together. It was perfect for us, because the reason we got married was because we wanted to start a family. It’s very possible to have a solid, stable marriage without religion.


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## 342693

God designed marriage, not man.


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## Sprinkles87

BeyondRepair007 said:


> The main thing in a non-religious marriage would be to have full commitment to one another.


Perfect. Yes that's the purpose for us. We want to get married to have kids and commit till old age. I'm serious when it comes to commitment. I just don't have god nor religion included.


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## Sprinkles87

SCDad01 said:


> God designed marriage, not man.


I don't believe in a god.


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## TexasMom1216

Sprinkles87 said:


> I don't believe in a god.


I do, but my marriage is not a "Christian" one. The commitment that you have to each other and to your family can still be strong without religion.


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## Prodigal

Consider getting married at the venue where you have your reception or get married outside. I can only speak as a U.S. citizen, but here we can be married by a judge or court official who is certified to perform marriages.


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## happyhusband0005

Sprinkles87 said:


> This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


In the US, a marriage being legal has nothing to do with the church whether you get married in a church or not. You get a marriage license and have a person legally registered to certify the marriage perform whatever ceremony. I didn't get married in a church there was nothing religious about our ceremony, It was a big fancy party. 

I also have friends who are not at all religious who chose to have a religious ceremony in a church for the benefit of their parents.

How and where you get married is not as important as how you live after.


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## frusdil

We married in a civil ceremony, at a beautiful estate with our nearest and dearest there with us. We were both more excited about the marriage, not the wedding, and starting our life together united as a couple. It was the most beautiful day. Not a priest or religious reference in sight.

ETA: I am technically Catholic, and married a divorcee (ooooh scandal). I couldn't have married in the church even if I'd wanted to.


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## Married but Happy

Many people have been married in non-religious ceremonies. Both my marriages excluded religion. Marriage is a social contract, and only religious because various faiths have co-opted it for their own purposes. Since the legal system recognizes marriage and associates rights and obligations with it, it can make sense for many people whether or not they're religious. People formed couples in the stone age and earlier, so that's based on human nature, not some philosophy.


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## sokillme

Why would I care either way? Your life, your beliefs.


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## Young at Heart

Sprinkles87 said:


> This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


OK, I have been married for a little over 51 years. Let me share some insights I have. 

I was married in a church. The priest did the service. After the service was over we went back to his office to quickly sign the County issued marriage license with him, us, the best man and maid of honor. I like to say that we were married and made our vows in front of God, the Church, the State (hence the license), our family, our friends and our community (neighbors, friends of family). 

We covered all bases in the groups we promised to love and honor each other and our marriage. We received the blessing of all those who attended. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, when we were finally husband and wife after the priest signed the license. At that moment it was just about celebrating our life together.

You don't need to get married in a church or by a member of the clergy. But at some point in your life, you or your spouse may change your mind and want to become more religious. 

You get to do what you and your spouse want. However, you might have parents or relatives who feel strongly about a church wedding. You might want to accommodate some of the preferences of those you invite to witness your wedding.

Good luck and yes, commitment to marriage is truly important. As Dr. David Schnarch liked to say, Marriage is the hardest thing two people can do, if they do it correctly.


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## Laurentium

Sprinkles87 said:


> I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion.


Just to add to the confusion, I'm religious but don't believe in any God or gods.


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## BeyondRepair007

Laurentium said:


> Just to add to the confusion, I'm religious but don't believe in any God or gods.


Curious… minor T/J maybe. What does that mean? Religion without God? It sounds like rules for behavior without a belief in absolute truth.


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## Emerging Buddhist

Sprinkles87 said:


> This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


It's not weird at all as there are as many breaths in a day as there are people (not one is ever the same as similar as they are) but having a non-religious does not mean one cannot incorporate spirituality into your ceremony as it sounds you are doing.

My vows were mixed as Buddhism is an interesting mix of doctrinal belief and spiritual experience and needs never once to mention my spiritual faith or stance by name (no deity there).

We were married in a civil ceremony overlooking the mountains and river where we call home by someone legally "ordained" by law to conduct the gathering of promises to believe in another through thick and thin.

No religious sacrament could have added more.


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## Laurentium

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Curious… minor T/J maybe. What does that mean? Religion without God? It sounds like rules for behavior without a belief in absolute truth.


Yeah, that's Buddhism.


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## 342693

Sprinkles87 said:


> I don't believe in a god.


that certainly your right. So in your opinion, who created marriage?


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## LATERILUS79

SCDad01 said:


> that certainly your right. So in your opinion, who created marriage?


Weren’t other cultures having marriages at the same time as Jewish people and later on with the Christians?


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## BeyondRepair007

LATERILUS79 said:


> Weren’t other cultures having marriages at the same time as Jewish people and later on with the Christians?


The ceremony of marriage is not a Christian creation, but if you believe in the God of the bible then the concept of a man & woman joined as a couple started with God's creation of man, in the garden of Eden. Formalities, ceremonies, and additional 'rules' were added later by various people's customs and traditions, but the initial joining and expected fidelity is a God creation.

For people who don't believe in God or the bible, guidance from said God is meaningless. In OP's case, she should pursue her happiness in the way she thinks is best and I wish her happiness and a fulfilling life. Perhaps at some point, she will come to know God. But until that happens the religious practices and the reasons for those are meaningless. As believers, we can't hold her to our beliefs.


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## *Deidre*

I believe that the rituals and ''practice'' of marriage started in ancient Pagan civilizations, and not by religion. I believe in God, and my faith has beliefs about God and marriage - but, ancient Pagan societies practiced marriage without religious influence.


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## BigDaddyNY

I was just at a wedding between two non-religious people 2 weeks ago. There was never a mention of God anywhere in the ceremony, yet it was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony was on top of a mountain in New Hampshire. We had to take a gondola to the top. The fall colors were beautiful. The person who married them was a family friend and long time mentor of the groom with no religious affiliation. Then the reception party was at the base of the mountain. It was one of the best weddings I've attended and had everything you expect from a typical wedding, just no mention of God. It was all about their commitment to each other. It's your marriage, you do it how you want.

My wife and I were married in a church, but quite honestly neither of us are religious. I definitely wouldn't call myself a Christian even though I do agree with many principles of Christianity. I was only affiliated with the church through my Boy Scout troop. Neither of us felt like we had to get married before God to make it real, but I bet we would have gotten some pressure from our families if we chose not to do it in a church. How does your family feel about a non-religious wedding?


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## ccpowerslave

I’m not sure about God but just in case we had a Protestant minister do ours who threw in some Bible verses. I think I’m covered just in case.


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## Sprinkles87

Young at Heart said:


> OK, I have been married for a little over 51 years. Let me share some insights I have.
> 
> I was married in a church. The priest did the service. After the service was over we went back to his office to quickly sign the County issued marriage license with him, us, the best man and maid of honor. I like to say that we were married and made our vows in front of God, the Church, the State (hence the license), our family, our friends and our community (neighbors, friends of family).
> 
> We covered all bases in the groups we promised to love and honor each other and our marriage. We received the blessing of all those who attended. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, when we were finally husband and wife after the priest signed the license. At that moment it was just about celebrating our life together.
> 
> You don't need to get married in a church or by a member of the clergy. But at some point in your life, you or your spouse may change your mind and want to become more religious.
> 
> You get to do what you and your spouse want. However, you might have parents or relatives who feel strongly about a church wedding. You might want to accommodate some of the preferences of those you invite to witness your wedding.
> 
> Good luck and yes, commitment to marriage is truly important. As Dr. David Schnarch liked to say, Marriage is the hardest thing two people can do, if they do it correctly.


Thank you for sharing your happy marriage story. You guys have a great life. My father is actually agnostic (he only calls himself Catholic to be ok with others that are religious and not cause too much drama) and he's ok with whatever I choose for my marriage. My mother is Catholic but knows my position on this and gave up years ago on trying to convince me god exists. Overall they're ok with what I want as long as it makes me happy. 
My bf isn't too much into religion and he sounds similar to my father. It's been talked about between and neither of us will do a religious ceremony. He doesn't like going to church and lying to everyone just to acccomodate the guests and other relatives. I think the same too.


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## Sprinkles87

SCDad01 said:


> that certainly your right. So in your opinion, who created marriage?


It dates all the way back to ancient times. There is an evidence of marriage ceremonies possibly originating in 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. The institution was then spread by ancient Greeks, Hebrews, and Romans. It was created by people.


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## BigDaddyNY

Sprinkles87 said:


> It dates all the way back to ancient times. There is an evidence of marriage ceremonies possibly originating in 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. The institution was then spread by ancient Greeks, Hebrews, and Romans. *It was created by people*.


I agree, but from a Christian standpoint it was created when God put Adam and Eve together, which would have been about 5500BC.

It doesn't matter though, you don't believe that and that is your choice. It is also good that it sounds like your family is supportive.


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## SunCMars

You are not having a religious marriage ceremony.


Sorry, but you are in the *majority*, here.

*68%* of all marriages in the US are civil, not performed in a Church or Synagogue, or Mosque.

..............................................................

You do not believe in God?

And, you _openly and proudly_ flaunt this disbelief?
Hey, look at me, I am an Atheist!

Again, you are not much of a minority.

Worldwide, only 51% of people believe in God.
I am sure populous, communist China and other heathen countries push that number down.

In the US, some 83% believe in God, at least in *some capacity.*

..........................................................

Is having no belief in God a good thing?
-or-
Is having a belief in God a good thing?

----> Having, *no belief in God*, *in any capacity*, is shallow thinking.
Very shallow.

The fact that matter itself can organize itself into life, into self directed organisms, into higher forms of life, into humans with *great intelligence, screams of intelligent design.

The stuff of the Universe is capable of becoming intelligent.
If we name the stuff of the Universe as *GOD, *any belief is easy.



*not all humans have great intelligence!


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## 342693

Sprinkles87 said:


> It dates all the way back to ancient times. There is an evidence of marriage ceremonies possibly originating in 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. The institution was then spread by ancient Greeks, Hebrews, and Romans. It was created by people.


I can date marriage back even further…. Garden of Eden, beginning of time.


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## SunCMars

An amusing thought....

You do not believe in *A Creator*, yet, here you are, alive, warm, breathing, and thinking.

Lower animals have no idea, and no mindful notion of a God, but they too, exist.

Lower animals simply do not have the capacity to understand these deep thinking concepts.
Actually, they have no need of it.
Their purpose is to survive and replicate, to pass on their genetics.

Is this your personal goal, also?
Merely to replicate, not to have deep thoughts?

I will not ask you if you feel you do not have the capacity; that would be extremely insulting.
It would.


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## SunCMars

Marriage was likely instituted by dominant men wanting to have and hold, to claim a woman, *as his own.*
Lower animals do this, sometimes having harems, sometimes mating for life.

Marriage, itself was a civilizing action.
A joined couple that is responsible for raising their offspring.
It is a workable arrangement.

Religion, civilizes mankind.

The simplest answer is likely the best.


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## pastasauce79

We had a non-denomination pastor officiating our wedding. We did it because my boss offered it and it was more convenient than going to city hall. 

I grew up Catholic but I don't like or agree with any religion anymore. My husband grew up with no religion. Our kids have no religion. We are a happy family, we do have friends and family who have different religion beliefs and we support them and celebrate their religious ceremonies when they have them. No big deal.


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## Diana7

We are both committed long time Christians who know God is real, but we didn't marry in a church. For reasons I won't go into neither of us had a home church at that time, and we know that God is everywhere anyway. As far as we are concerned God was there and saw us make our promises, and in the end a church is just a building where Christians meet together. Here in the UK most people no longer marry in a church, and unless you are a Christian what is the point anyway. It would be hypocritical.


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## Rob_1

SunCMars said:


> Marriage was likely instituted by dominant men wanting to have and hold, to claim a woman, *as his own.*


Wrong. Completely off base. Marriage as an institution has its origins with the advent and widespread of agriculture, some 8-9 thousands years ago. 

The transition of a nomadic life to that of a settled agricultural life with its materialistic implications such as land, dwellings, technology, in effect ritches that man did not possessed for all those hundred of thousands of years before the advent of agriculture. 

All of those factors created a need to maintain, sustain, and ensure that what was yours, remained in the family when you died; hence the development of clans, families, inter-marriages (as seemed advantageous) in order to ensure your life's acquired wealth and possessions somehow remained within your family.

Let's remember, that before the advent of the Hicksos appearing on the map with their warrior-male gods,
almost all forms of societies, whether, tribal or more developed, were more or less, in whatever form practicing religious customs that were matriarchal in base, with the Mother Goddess in her various incarnations, e.g. Ishtar, Astarte, etc., depending in what region of the world. A very naturalistic world. Also, remember that the Semitic tribes, that eventually were to evolve into the pre-Israelis were thousands of years into the future. 

So, no, marriage was not "created" to dominate and control women, nor by a god. Rather it was a natural transition of the female's role as the procreator of life as it came down from the Mother Goddess concept. With the advent of Patriarchy, things change for women as more or less a commodity in many civilizations.


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## SunCMars

Rob_1 said:


> Wrong. Completely off based. Marriage as an institution has its origins with the advent and widespread of agriculture, some 8-9 thousands years ago.
> 
> The transition of a nomadic life to that of a settled agricultural life with its materialistic implications such as land, dwellings, technology, in effect ritches that man did not possessed for all those hundred of thousands of years before the advent of agriculture.
> 
> All of those factors created a need to maintain, sustain, and ensure that what was yours, remained in the family when you died; hence the development of clans, families, inter-marriages (as seemed advantageous) in order to ensure your life's acquired wealth and possessions somehow remained within your family.
> 
> Let's remember, that before the advent of the Hicksos appearing on the map with their warrior-male gods,
> almost all forms of societies, whether, tribal or more developed, were more or less, inMen whatever form practicing religious customs that were matriarchal in base, with the Mother Goddess in her various incarnations, e.g. Ishtar, Astarte, etc., depending in what region of the world. A very naturalistic world. Also, remember that the Semitic tribes, that eventually were to evolve into the pre-Israelis were thousands of years into the future.
> 
> So, no, marriage was not "created" to dominate and control women, nor by a god. Rather it was a natural transition of the female's role as the procreator of life as it came down from the Mother Goddess concept. With the advent of Patriarchy, things change for women as more or less a commodity in many civilizations.


So, I am totally wrong, and off base?

I also said that marriage was a civilizing action.

Keep in mind, women in the great past were chattel, they were bought by paying dowry's to the parents.
Women were dominated by men.

And, they were not equals, by any stretch of the imagination.

Your take is wishful thinking.

The great masses did NOT act the way you described. 

Most men in the past acted like savages.
And, if they did not, they were soon conquered and killed by savage bands.

You need to read up on your ancient history.


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## Rob_1

Sun. You should study a little bit more Pre-history, and the discovery and Avent of agriculture. You're basing what you think you know in later, patriarchal times.


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## happyhusband0005

ccpowerslave said:


> I’m not sure about God but just in case we had a Protestant minister do ours who threw in some Bible verses. I think I’m covered just in case.


I think this makes you a devout Roman Catholic.


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## Ursula

Laurentium said:


> Just to add to the confusion, I'm religious but don't believe in any God or gods.


Interesting, and I believe in God, but don't believe in organizied religion.


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## Diana7

Ursula said:


> Interesting, and I believe in God, but don't believe in organizied religion.


What do you mean by organized religion? A group of Christians meeting together? A large church?


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## TexasMom1216

Ursula said:


> Interesting, and I believe in God, but don't believe in organizied religion.


Same.


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## Ursula

Diana7 said:


> What do you mean by organized religion? A group of Christians meeting together? A large church?


I think of organized religon as any denomination, nothing specific. I guess if you want to get technical, I view churches as groups of people getting together and teaching whatever their particular God believes in, whether that be Christians, Catholics, United (I'm baptised United), Hinduism, Muslim, Mormons, Protestant, etc. From my experience, everyone's version of God seems to preach a different thing, and believe different things, and no one's God can seem to come to a compromise and just get along. I feel like this is where a lot of the world's issues stem from, and I feel that things like that take a good thing and make it bad. 

Some of my closest girlfriends are very devout church goes, and I have a couple other close friends who are aethiest. I have also been close to a lot of very devoutly religious people who can talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, they just can't do it. Example: waaay back just after high school, a friend and her then BF used to come to get togethers with a bible, and would talk to us about how God loves and accepts everyone, and forgives sins, etc. Then, one of our group fell pregnant and wasn't married. The bible thumping friend went from preaching about acceptance, to turning her back saying that our other friend was sinful, and what a terrible person she was. That was when I started thinking that maybe religion wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and that maybe just being a kind, accepting and fair person was a better way to go.

That was a lot, sorry about that. Hopefully that makes sense and isn't offensive to anyone.


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## Diana7

Ursula said:


> I think of organized religon as any denomination, nothing specific. I guess if you want to get technical, I view churches as groups of people getting together and teaching whatever their particular God believes in, whether that be Christians, Catholics, United (I'm baptised United), Hinduism, Muslim, Mormons, Protestant, etc. From my experience, everyone's version of God seems to preach a different thing, and believe different things, and no one's God can seem to come to a compromise and just get along. I feel like this is where a lot of the world's issues stem from, and I feel that things like that take a good thing and make it bad.
> 
> Some of my closest girlfriends are very devout church goes, and I have a couple other close friends who are aethiest. I have also been close to a lot of very devoutly religious people who can talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, they just can't do it. Example: waaay back just after high school, a friend and her then BF used to come to get togethers with a bible, and would talk to us about how God loves and accepts everyone, and forgives sins, etc. Then, one of our group fell pregnant and wasn't married. The bible thumping friend went from preaching about acceptance, to turning her back saying that our other friend was sinful, and what a terrible person she was. That was when I started thinking that maybe religion wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and that maybe just being a kind, accepting and fair person was a better way to go.
> 
> That was a lot, sorry about that. Hopefully that makes sense and isn't offensive to anyone.


I am not one for denominations and have been to churches of many different ones. We avoid any who don't stick to what God says in the Bible and always manage to find a good church with lovely people who are faithful in teaching what the Bible says. In fact where we live now we are having trouble settling on a local church (we haven't lived here long), because we have been to several lovely ones locally where the people are really genuine, welcoming and clearly love God. 
Remember that we are all fallen people and there is no such thing as a perfect church. I have been very fortunate though to never have come across really judgmental people in any of the churches I have been to in the last 60 something years. Most have been lovely, caring and decent people. 
I see church as just meeting with our family, just as you may meet with your own family. Not sure if that is organized religion, I honestly have no idea what they really means, but I guess we all organize things in our lives don't we. Organize a holiday, a party, a meal out, a day trip, a family together, it all takes organization. I don't see that as negative though.


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## BeyondRepair007

Ursula said:


> The bible thumping friend went from preaching about acceptance, to turning her back saying that our other friend was sinful, and what a terrible person she was.


This is precisely where believers go wrong. Whether it was 2000 years ago or yesterday, self-righteousness and holier-than-thou attitudes build walls.


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## TexasMom1216

BeyondRepair007 said:


> This is precisely where believers go wrong. Whether it was 2000 years ago or yesterday, self-righteousness and holier-than-thou attitudes build walls.


When you can claim “God said I’m right,” you can do literally anything. Absolute and unaccountable power in anyones hands is a bad idea.


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## BeyondRepair007

TexasMom1216 said:


> When you can claim “God said I’m right,” you can do literally anything. Absolute and unaccountable power in anyones hands is a bad idea.


100% agree.


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## BeyondRepair007

BeyondRepair007 said:


> 100% agree.


Oh... and God said I was right about that 🤣


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## Ursula

Diana7 said:


> I am not one for denominations and have been to churches of many different ones. We avoid any who don't stick to what God says in the Bible and always manage to find a good church with lovely people who are faithful in teaching what the Bible says. In fact where we live now we are having trouble settling on a local church (we haven't lived here long), because we have been to several lovely ones locally where the people are really genuine, welcoming and clearly love God.
> Remember that we are all fallen people and there is no such thing as a perfect church. I have been very fortunate though to never have come across really judgmental people in any of the churches I have been to in the last 60 something years. Most have been lovely, caring and decent people.
> I see church as just meeting with our family, just as you may meet with your own family. Not sure if that is organized religion, I honestly have no idea what they really means, but I guess we all organize things in our lives don't we. Organize a holiday, a party, a meal out, a day trip, a family together, it all takes organization. I don't see that as negative though.


I like your viewpoint on it as a big family coming together; I do think that's nice and it sounds like a supportive environment. I also don't see being organized as a negative, but being organized in life to me is a little different than an organized religion. That's just me though, I think. Oddly, religion totally fascinates me, and I do a bit of reading on different ones. I also work for a company that was started and continues to be operated by Mormons. Most of the staff are Mormon, and when I started there a couple years ago, I became interested in learning about that particular group. Interesting folks, and they're some of the hardest workers that I've known, but definitely not something that I would ever consider joining.


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## snowbum

Did you quit making up lies on line?


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## Sprinkles87

Ursula said:


> Some of my closest girlfriends are very devout church goes, and I have a couple other close friends who are aethiest. I have also been close to a lot of very devoutly religious people who can talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, they just can't do it. Example: waaay back just after high school, a friend and her then BF used to come to get togethers with a bible, and would talk to us about how God loves and accepts everyone, and forgives sins, etc. Then, one of our group fell pregnant and wasn't married. The bible thumping friend went from preaching about acceptance, to turning her back saying that our other friend was sinful, and what a terrible person she was. That was when I started thinking that maybe religion wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and that maybe just being a kind, accepting and fair person was a better way to go.
> 
> That was a lot, sorry about that. Hopefully that makes sense and isn't offensive to anyone.


The overly religious folks like the friend you stated can be hypocritical. If it was all into forgiving, then I fail to understand the harsh treatment towards an unmarried pregnant girl. Religion treats gay people like that too. So much for all the talk about forgiveness. They don't make sense at all. It's correct that you don't need religion to be a kind, accepting person.


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## Sprinkles87

snowbum said:


> Did you quit making up lies on line?


I did. This is really me.


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## Diana7

Sprinkles87 said:


> The overly religious folks like the friend you stated can be hypocritical. If it was all into forgiving, then I fail to understand the harsh treatment towards an unmarried pregnant girl. Religion treats gay people like that too. So much for all the talk about forgiveness. They don't make sense at all. It's correct that you don't need religion to be a kind, accepting person.


Most Christians just aren't like that but you wouldn't know that.


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## lukeyandlost

Sprinkles87 said:


> This might come off as weird but even as a self-proclaimed atheist (a minority in my country but yes we do exist), I still have desires to get married and have kids. I believe in marriage but not in a god nor religion. If I get married, it would be at a courthouse, not a church.
> 
> Sometimes I wonder if other people can also be getting married for non-religious purposes. I believe in the commitment with your life partner but not in religion. My bf and I are waiting till marriage for non-religious purposes. Do you really find this ironic or weird? One of my friends and other relatives would find it weird that I don't plan on having a religious ceremony.


Marriage is deeply afflicted with Christians who have abused it. It is not known by me about it having safer or better experience with anything unmeasured for religion. Non-religious is probably the best place for it but for it to save per the man it is focuses. 

I would never recommend marriage be used for non-religious purposes.

If you get married, it might be pure and clean if you simply went to the courthouse and got the license and stuff required without the church's permission. Non-religious, yes, sort of. Filing the papers with the county and proving that it must be adjudicated by a court of law in the USA or elsewhere makes it not so pure. 

I think the best version is the non-disclosed version. Do not file with a county or a state or a city or a country. No church and not even a regular type of ceremony. Like a child at school saying the pledge. But, when is it over? At death?

Is it over the first time you get in a fight and one of you scream, "you want a divorce?" and the other does not hesitate and screams, "yes." That could be the end of that marriage as far as God is concerned. So, unless you are God, I would recommend you not deviate from established norms.

Good luck,
Mark


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