# Received response from STBX



## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

We've just received my STBX's response to my petition for divorce, and it says nothing, but "until further discussion/agreement". I shouldn't be surprised. He's continued to brainwash our child and it's been difficult attending school activities and having my child ignore me and run to his dad. How do you all cope and manage these situations with your ex and your child?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

When is a hearing before a judge coming up? Document everything so you have it at the ready.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Are you going to get Temporary Orders soon? As a parent, you have equal rights to time with your children whether he likes it or not, and the judge will enforce it. So get your temporary orders, get your 50% custody time, and have your time with your children as you see fit—not under his control!!


----------



## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

Thank you for your responses. We've been doing 50-50 custody for the time being. We don't have a court date set yet. He wanted mediation but I know this won't work with him. My 6 yr old comes over and constantly tells me to let him take his things (clothes, toys, etc.) to his dad's because his dad told him he had to. He cries and I hate seeing him caught in the middle.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Your STBX is pathetic for using your child like that. Document every incident and make sure your lawyer and the judge is aware.


----------



## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

I have been journaling and downloading texts. It's just strange that his dad after taking most our son's things, is asking him to bring what he has with me, to his house. I guess it's his way to continue to control me. I just know in these cases, of brainwashing, you still end up with 50-50, unless your the other parent "really is a threat". The courts seem to ignore that brainwashing and aligning the child with them is a danger to the child, it's mental abuse.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I will tell you that the spouse who is a cooperating or who doesn't produce documents that have been asked for because they think that will further their cause will find out differently once before a judge. 

You just worry about getting all the paperwork you need to have together whatever that is your tax returns your work receipts your bank statements everything you can find and anything you can find on your spouse as well. 

A friend of mine's spouse just refused to produce anything when she put her hands on one year of his stuff enough to prove that he had earned quite a bit of money before he quit his job. He thought quitting his job and not being employed would work in his favor. But he refused to produce any documents so the court had no choice but to use the documents that she produced and base the support of on that when he was making money instead of recently when he wasn't but wouldn't cooperate to prove it. 

That guy was a conspiracy theorist and really thought he knew how to beat the system. He was wrong wrong and wrong.

So be sure you have an attorney number one, be sure you produce everything you need to produce timely, see if you can produce anything to the attorney that he might not produce and let the attorney decide what to do with that.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Lostinthelight said:


> Thank you for your responses. We've been doing 50-50 custody for the time being. We don't have a court date set yet. He wanted mediation but I know this won't work with him. My 6 yr old comes over and constantly tells me to let him take his things (clothes, toys, etc.) to his dad's because his dad told him he had to. He cries and I hate seeing him caught in the middle.


Talk to your attorney about this. Ask if you can talk your child to a child therapist/counselor. See if some of the things your child tells the counselor can be admitted as testimony in the divorce filing.

Attempting to use a child like this is abuse in my book and should not be tolerated. However, the laws may not have evolved to that point of view. See what you can legally do to end this can of abusive manipulation by your H. His problems are with you and should not involve your child.


----------



## Lostinthelight (6 mo ago)

I have all of my documentation ready and my attorney tells me to be patient so here I am, waiting. Thank you all for your advice. Our house has been sold. Everything has happened so quickly, all in a span of a couple of months. He's in a hurry to be on his own and hook up with his girlfriend.


----------

