# husband finally admited it



## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

2 years ago my husband had sex with my mother who had tried to accuse him of rape. Which he was never charged with... He finally admited that he had sex with her after denying it.

Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago but I am more upset with the fact that he lied and everything that was going on contributed to my depression and anxiety making it worse. I am about to lose it again. 

I want to make this marriage work but right now i cant even think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

So you're not bothered that your H had an A with your mother!! 
Sorry I just don't know what to say!
How on earth can you begin to fix this?
Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

What he did is appalling. Unforgivable. When did you confirm his rape with your mother?

In your case, did you both agree to R?

Is he now, remorseful?


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

He had sex with your mother???

Are you certain it was not rape? How do you know?

I honestly do not understand why you would want to make this marriage work. That is dysfunctional behavior to the extreme. He must have really wanted to hurt you.

And what about your mother? What kind of relationship do you have with her? Because if he did not rape her, your mother is also an enemy of yours. Mothers do not do this to their children!

Pleas, see a therapist immediately to help you get through this. Do you have any friends you can stay with and who can help you?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...yuck...


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Sex with your mom?

Why would you even want to make this marriage work? Why?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought this was a dire situation!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DiZ (May 15, 2012)

zanana1124 said:


> 2 years ago my husband had sex with my mother who had tried to accuse him of rape. Which he was never charged with... He finally admited that he had sex with her after denying it.
> 
> Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago but I am more upset with the fact that he lied and everything that was going on contributed to my depression and anxiety making it worse. I am about to lose it again.
> 
> ...


I still cannot pick my jaw up off the ground. You need to get away form this man ASAP


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Is this for real? sounds like a bad episode of Maury


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

" Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago"

This says what?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

It seems to imply that she also had sex with her mom, but I'm chalking that up to bad syntax, I guess she just means she also had an affair.

Whatever. Paging Sophocles, clean up on Aisle 2. Sophocles to Aisle 2, please.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> " Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago"
> 
> This says what?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm wondering that too. Does that mean she and an affair too, or had an affair with his Dad?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Revenge affair with your mother, maybe?


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Is this for real? Or should I be looking for a bridge?

If he denied having sex with your mom for two years, then admitted it, what makes you think he was telling the truth about the rape?

There are no statues of limitation or rape charges in most states, if he did in fact rape your mother, charges should be brought against him as soon as possible.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

True, Paladin, very true.

However, whether he screwed her mom consensually or raped her, I'm still not understanding the "wanting to save the marriage" bit. I guess I just have different boundaries. Or, you know, bridge.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

This reminds me of the situation where the wife's husband was having an affair with her dad.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> This reminds me of the situation where the wife's husband was having an affair with her dad.


Yes I remember that one!!
Wonder how that situation ended!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

zanana1124 said:


> 2 years ago my husband had sex with my mother who had tried to accuse him of rape. Which he was never charged with... He finally admited that he had sex with her after denying it.
> 
> Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago but I am more upset with the fact that he lied and everything that was going on contributed to my depression and anxiety making it worse. I am about to lose it again.
> 
> ...


So for two years you thought it was your mother who was the liar? Your mother claims to have been raped by your own spouse, and only NOW you are angry with HIM because he LIED to YOU? 

Why would you possible want your marriage to work? What possible redeeming qualities does this man have that you could even consider maintaining a relationship with him? Seriously? 

And then there is your mother. Are you under the impression that the act was now consensual? Did the liar, I mean your H tell you that? And you believe him?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...yuck...


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, Candie, that bears repeating!


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

I'm a new member... but dang, nearly every post by this one is an episode of Maury. 

My whole fam is crazy (me too) but my dh loves me, my dh is constantly going to jail for fines, I love my dh/want to make it work but we're broke, my BIL is in jail/sis in on suicide watch and my dh wants us to take their kids, and now this?

I think there is a bridge...


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

ItMatters said:


> I'm a new member... but dang, nearly every post by this one is an episode of Maury.
> 
> My whole fam is crazy (me too) but my dh loves me, my dh is constantly going to jail for fines, I love my dh/want to make it work but we're broke, my BIL is in jail/sis in on suicide watch and my dh wants us to take their kids, and now this?
> 
> I think there is a bridge...



:iagree:

I should have checked up on her other posts. Is this a creative writing class thingy? A drive by? Perhaps the OP could gather all her issues on one thread to make it easier for others to keep up, sort of a running soap opera. 

The Real Question is whether the OP is here for help or for drama. :scratchhead:


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

[speechless]


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

Maybe the poster is testing out their story prior to their audition for the Jerry Springer show?

And yes, people and/or actors audition for that show.


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## messeduplady (May 31, 2012)

This is a joke, right???


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

zanana1124 said:


> 2 years ago my husband had sex with my mother who had tried to accuse him of rape. Which he was never charged with... He finally admited that he had sex with her after denying it.
> 
> *Im not upset much over the affair because i had done the same thing several years ago* but I am more upset with the fact that he lied and everything that was going on contributed to my depression and anxiety making it worse. I am about to lose it again.
> 
> ...


You had an affair with your mom several years ago?


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> So you're not bothered that your H had an A with your mother!!
> Sorry I just don't know what to say!
> How on earth can you begin to fix this?
> Good luck!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am not bothered with the fact that he had an affair with my mother on his part because I made the mistake of haveing sex with one of his brothers. I at least told him when it happened. and didn't hide it and ly for two years.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Yep, I see a Maury plot here.... I'll keep an eye out.


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> You had an affair with your mom several years ago?


No I had an affair with his brother not my mother.


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

AngryandUsed said:


> What he did is appalling. Unforgivable. When did you confirm his rape with your mother?
> 
> In your case, did you both agree to R?
> 
> Is he now, remorseful?


The police determined that he didn't rape her. Yes he is remorseful. But I have no clue how to regain any trust in the issue


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

norajane said:


> He had sex with your mother???
> 
> Are you certain it was not rape? How do you know?
> 
> ...


The Police Determined it wasnt rape and my mother was recently diagnosed and bipolar but even before it we have never gotten along and never will the only reason I have any contact with her is because of my 13year old sister. I have plans on seeing a therapist but i have no one else to stay with or who can help me thru this.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

zanana1124 said:


> The police determined that he didn't rape her. Yes he is remorseful. But I have no clue how to regain any trust in the issue


That's not entirely accurate. The Police simply did not have enough evidence to convict him of a crime. That doesn't mean that they determined anything. Apparently there was a "he said-she said", and he is a liar. While that might not produce a conviction in a court of law, it doesn't make him innocent of any wrongdoing either. After all, the woman in question is your mother, of all people. So who is the liar? Him or her?


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

So a bipolar person involved as well? Oh.

Just in case you are a beginner troll, don't pack everything into same character/thread. It's really over the top, the drama's so tight even no room for "your mom" joke.


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

Paladin said:


> Is this for real? Or should I be looking for a bridge?
> 
> If he denied having sex with your mom for two years, then admitted it, what makes you think he was telling the truth about the rape?
> 
> There are no statues of limitation or rape charges in most states, if he did in fact rape your mother, charges should be brought against him as soon as possible.


The police investigated and nothing has happened. There wasn't any evidence or anything. She tried to bring up charges. The main this is she didn't do anything about in. No rape kit no nothing just accusations.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I don't think she is a troll. OP, how old are you and how long were you married? Do you have kids with your H?


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## zanana1124 (Mar 3, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> I don't think she is not a troll. OP, how old are you and how long were you married? Do you have kids with your H?


i am 24 and married 7 years no kids. I am just really confused at this point. All i know is that the day this happened i told them both i wasnt going to have kids yet and my mom was trying to pressure me into haveing them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Why do you want to stay married?

Maybe a divorce is the right thing for you because this relationship is NOT healthy at all. You married too young, and both of you have cheated. When a man chooses to have sex with his wife's mother, there is NOTHING in your marriage worth saving.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

survivorwife said:


> That's not entirely accurate. The Police simply did not have enough evidence to convict him of a crime. That doesn't mean that they determined anything. Apparently there was a "he said-she said", and he is a liar. While that might not produce a conviction in a court of law, it doesn't make him innocent of any wrongdoing either. After all, the woman in question is your mother, of all people. So who is the liar? Him or her?


With a bipolar mother that question is still up for grabs.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

zanana1124 said:


> i am 24 and married 7 years no kids. I am just really confused at this point. All i know is that the day this happened i told them both i wasnt going to have kids yet and my mom was trying to pressure me into haveing them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



You're so young and you're going through a lot. Hang in there.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

zanana1124 said:


> *i am 24 and married 7 years* no kids. I am just really confused at this point. All i know is that the day this happened i told them both i wasnt going to have kids yet and my mom was trying to pressure me into haveing them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's a bit young... Were you an emancipated minor or did your mom just sign to allow it? How old is your husband?


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

> I am not bothered with the fact that he had an affair with my mother on his part because I made the mistake of haveing sex with one of his brothers.


So was this some kind of revenge semi incest ONS affair? Do I get It?

What did you tell yourself to think it's was OK to have sex with you BIL. Was ir a lust in-the-moment thing? Was there some build up flirt under his nose? Perhaps some planning? Some kind of gigantic FU revenge thing for something he did? Maybe an aptempt of trading up the "best" brother?

What your husband has to say about his motives?.

It all sounds so weird.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

It all sounds so weird because it's all made up. There are a bunch of guys sitting in a dorm in Kansas right now laughing.


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