# doesnt like to receive only give



## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I often read in these threads women or men complaining that their spouse will not give oral, but has no problems receiving it. What about the other way around?
My wife has no problem giving bjs, but is not really into receiving oral. To this day, after 10 yrs of marriage, its still weird to me. Don't get me wrong, there are times she lets me do it, but only because 1) if things are getting very hot & heavy then shell "relent" and actually enjoy it, or 2) she knows how much i like doing it and gives in for me.
But either way, these arent common experiences, id say for every 10 times we have sex, she allows me to do one out of those times. 
Sometimes I wonder if she's self-conscious about the way she smells, but thats not a issue for her. Also, I wonder if she knows ive done that with old gfs, so it bothers her to be associated with them - possibly. I don't know both just theories.
Has anyone here experienced this?


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

That was me to a T 5 years ago.


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## Wild1 (Dec 29, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> That was me to a T 5 years ago.



Ok, i'll bite - what "got you out of your shell"?


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> That was me to a T 5 years ago.


Why don't or didn't you like it??

My wife is the same - doesn't care to receive it and she's never said why either. It drives me wild to give it to her though.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

Trust and self confidence are what brought me out of my shell.

To me the act of receiving oral ( for me as a woman) is about as intimate as it comes.
I was always afraid to allow myself the abandon of pleasure I associated with it. 
After years of pushing my H's face away anytime he'd try to do it, now I ask for it by name.

Mostly because of the level of trust I now have with my husband. I know he loves me and wants my pleasure, I know it pleases him to make me feel good.
I also gained self confidence. I learned that my stuff (as I affectionately call it) is beautiful and not weird. I just grew more comfortable in my own skin, I guess.


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## Wild1 (Dec 29, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> To me the act of receiving oral ( for me as a woman) is about as intimate as it comes.
> I was always afraid to allow myself the abandon of pleasure I associated with it.




As I suspected - I'd be willing to bet fear is the #1 reason (not including guilt from infidelity or some other VERY unlikely reason).

Once your woman trusts you - and I mean *100%* trust you, not just telling her she is the most beautiful person ever, but actually get her _to feel _that and both of you are not scared of either of your reactions... well, there you go.


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## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

I could never just go with it back then...it is like I always had to have control of myself- what I sounded like and looked like. I didn't have enough self confidence to understand that though my face gets red and I squeal and grunt and contort my face, my orgasms are beautiful.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband wanted to lick me, I didn't feel comfortable, shy( Ha ha ha......................me?)

Anyway, I let him try, I didn't like it, the feeling was too strong for me to handle. I told him to stop, I didn't like it! 

My husband likes to lick me, he didn't give up, he started to change his technique, he stopped flicking fast, he stopped focusing on the clit, he started to go slowly and sticking inside and circling my vagina, and the feeling was just great.................I started to enjoy it........................

One day, he was giving me oral, and I came................the orgasm was so strong that I kept on screaming....................and my husband kept on licking, and the orgasm kept on going.....................

Now, I just love being licked.....................

If she doesn't like it because she is shy, convince her to get rid of it. Sex and orgasm are wonderful gifts God gives us, we should enjoy them to the full, the more we enjoy sex, the more we cherish our life. If she is worried that there is smell, just tell her you like that smell, and tell her to wash herself clean. 

If she doesn't like it because of your technique, please ask her to let you try again, work on your technique, and ask her how she wants you to perform!


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

my wife is something of a control freak. the comments im reading here about "not wanting to give up control" does resonate. I wonder if it has to do with that. She feels out of control and completely vulnerable in that state. 
She's always told me that she just has to be completely in the mood to be open to it (which like I said she is on the rare occasion). 
Thanks for the comments. Keep 'em coming if you want, the more insight the better.


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

I gave my wife Oral last night!! It was a beautiful thing!
All this talk and reading other ideas might be helping me!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

effess said:


> my wife is something of a control freak. the comments im reading here about "not wanting to give up control" does resonate. I wonder if it has to do with that. She feels out of control and completely vulnerable in that state.
> She's always told me that she just has to be completely in the mood to be open to it (which like I said she is on the rare occasion).
> Thanks for the comments. Keep 'em coming if you want, the more insight the better.


I find this interesting!

Why is it related to " control" issue? 

When my husband is giving me oral, I usually sit on a chair, he is kneeling down in front of me giving me great service, I feel I am like a royal queen!  

Who is controlling who? Who cares who is being controlled! Enjoyment life is what we should focus on! Having great sex is the core!


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