# "O" disappears upon insertion, question, help!!



## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

I have a question. I don't have a lot of experience with sex, meaning I have not had a lot of partners. So I don't really feel knowledgeable. I am having an issue. I have noticed something and I wonder if I am alone in this or how to combat this issue.

When me and my H are having sex, often times I take over meeting my own needs. As the sexual tension builds with in me, my H takes a more active role. I seem to have things very well under control, as "O" gets near my H likes to participate with PIV. I am not against PIV at that point. But it seems that upon insertion, my "O" just dies. It turns to nothing. I can't make it continue, all sensation is gone. I just can't find the right spot any more. I don't know if it has to do with the angle, or with the pressure or if it is simply having PIV that is causing that , given my past history. I would think having PIV would make things more intense not less. 

Any one have any idea what is going on here, how to combat this or what to do to keep the "O" alive. I would love your input. I can't just go around asking folks about that. Yall are my only hope to figuring this out. (I can ask my T, but that will be just a LITTLE embarrassing) Thank you in advance for your valuable insight.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

From what I remember of your posts, I think your past is shutting down the O. Insertion is a trigger.


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

Very well could be. I struggle to tell if it is the mechanics of things or the trigger in things.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

In my experience with all the women I know, "once an orgasm is close you should never attempt to change forms of stimulation, you have to keep going doing the same thing or the orgasm will likely vanish."

So if we are doing PIV and my wife gets close, and I try and change positions a little, even that can make it fade away for her.

The ONLY exception to the rule might be changing forms of stimulation to add a vibrator.

Badsanta


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

Thank you very much for your response. I have found what you said to be true. Once ya find what is working, GOD whatever you do don't change it. That could be it, even changing it to something that has the potential to be better is not making it better. 

I agree the ONLY exception is to add a vibe.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I suggest getting your O and then your husband can join with PIV. Whatever works is the way to go!


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
do you ever masturbate with insertable toys? It might be worth trying by yourself without pressure to see if it is the physical sensation that is the problem, or psychological stress.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Big Momma I can't remember if you've had kids? If so, if you also had an epesiotomy or vaginal tearing, it is possible though not common that your scar tissue is interfering with nerve signals.

Certain positions work because they hit the most sensitive (and safest) spot. The clitoris is an organ that is much more than just the part that sticks out. It wraps around the vaginal opening meeting up on the other side, runs through the perenium, splits again and ends on the other side of the anus. Touching one part in a certain way could kill the build up. If legs closed working the clit works for you, and legs open for penetration doesn't, then that's just the way your body works. However if the position of your body has remained essentially unchanged between almost there and PIV, then I think this may be an emotional block for you.

Now that you are getting through this, don't be so quick to assume your history is interfering. 

You should be so proud of yourself! Well done!


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

Anon Pink - I do have kids. 3 of them, two of the kids were more then 9 lbs each on a 5 ft frame. Lots of tearing took place. Both vagional and anal tareing. Not a great place to receive stitches let me tell ya. 

I had not thought of that being a cause, it certainly could be. There is also the possibility of a emotional block as well. It's just so hard to say.

Richard - I have recently gone shopping. I have found a vibe that I thought would be to my liking. I wanted to see if it interfered with things. It seems to be much like sticking a pencil in your nose. It does nothing. Though having only used it twice I don't know what I am looking for, I don't know what to expect. I know what I want to happen, but not sure about sharing my sex life with this battery powered friend. It may take some further experimenting to become comfortable with that. 

Grame - thanks for the encouragement. NOT. Anyway, my H knows that I have difficulties once we get to PIV. How could ya not? Wife is having fun, then you come and make it PIV and "O" disappears. Yeah he knows.


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

grame said:


> You need to talk to him about it not assume he knows. You'd be surprised at how clueless some people can be. If you don't make him aware of your needs then you have only yourself to blame.


I'm pretty sure he knows. As I mentioned above and I tell him, "Man, lets just don't do it that way, It doesn't seem to work to well." I have said things like "wow what happened where did it go" or he has asked me "What happened" I tell him this way is just doesn't work for me. 

Unfortunately nothing works for me, so that is not surprised that this doesn't either. Then it causes hard feelings cause yet again another thing to add to the list of "well we tried, but that sucked." I feel like it is aimed at me. He's trying to make it great for me and nope this is not good enough either. But Damn when it don't happen it just don't happen. I can't MAKE it happen, I don't choose for it not to happen. Lord knows I want it to happen.


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