# My turn...



## TRGarner (Sep 5, 2012)

My wife left me for another person, she told me back during the last week of September, she slept with another, and had been for sometime. a few days later, I left, not wanting to hurt her, I left, b/c if I had stayed, I would have seriously hurt her.

Now, I live on my own and every night I fight off depression, anxiety, self loathing...I sit at home, night after night fighting wave, after wave of pure hell, emotion, the kind that cause my breath to choke up, tears to flow, no thought, no anything, just pure sadness and every night it's the same, since I moved away. I thought I could handle, it, thought b/c I am a man, this shouldn't bother me, but it does.

I feel horrible, sad, I tell myself, no turning back, I look at this site and see post after post after post after post, knowing, I AM NOT ALONE. 

I have been trying for weeks to deal with this on my own, and now, I am back to this site. 

Don't get me wrong, on the surface, we are friends, no angst in child custody, no issues from me at all about support, everything split, right down the middle. Done, easy... except I am sad. and I don't know what to do..

I occupy my mind at work with work that keeps me mentally challenged, I have great friends that I hang out with, seek in confidence, talk about my problems, and issues, as well as I can talk.

but, every night for the past 25-30 days, however long it's been, all I do is weep, no thoughts, no emotions, just pure sadness... 

For now, I'm going to keep reading, keep seeing my friends, and just try to function as a normal human being.

No suicidal thoughts, no more rage against my ex, that has passed, and I know that with time, everything else will pass, it has to pass, and time will tell.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Your friend,

Tom


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## didntcitcoming (Oct 15, 2012)

Feelin ur pain brother. It's not easy. My post is "she literally just walked away". Read it if u get a chance. The only thing that gave me real guidance was TAM. Thank god for this website and all of the info and support. I'm going thru it with you, believe me. Days are real easy for me too with work and extra cirricular activities. Nights can test my patience. Like right now, 1:30 am should be sleeping and here I am. Just saw the affair with my own eyes tonight and can't fall asleep. Your not alone there are a lot of us out there.


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## TRGarner (Sep 5, 2012)

Thankyou for the the reply. SInce I moved out, I've been having a wicked case of insomnia, and it sucks, I know most of it's pressure, new environment, anxiety and all that...

I know time heals, its like you said occupying every moment of my minds activity with activities to keep me FROM thinking about it.

But I slept through the night last night, so two nights in a row of sleeping. woot woot.

Again. Thanks


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## MisterRitter (Sep 1, 2012)

Hi,

So sorry to hear what you went through. I am in a similar situation, and one of the hardest things for me to deal with is how badly I have been dealing with this. If you had asked me a year ago how something like this would affect me, I would have had no clue how hurt, sad, angry, depressed, smashed, pathetic,..... I would feel. And when I did, I felt even worse for feeling that way. As you said, I am a man and should not be so pathetic and susceptible to these feelings. I should be able to go on with life and not be crippled by these feelings. But I was and still am to an extent but it has gotten a bit better.

I am about a month ahead of you,as my wife pulled her thing at the beginning of September, and its a constant struggle to continue on with life the way I want. I am doing that somewhat but it was so hard to admit that there were responsibilities and activities I had to temporarily give up because I was not strong enough to deal with my marital issues and the rest of life.

I have come to terms with that, with the help of IC which wasn't initially supposed to be about marriage but the two things just happened to occur at the same time (the beginning of IC and her infidelity).

I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and maybe it does get a little better.

Here is a book I read early on which, while painful to read, helped me to see what how other people were also devastated by this type of situation:

I Thought We Were Happy: Lessons My Wife Taught Me on the Road to Divorce: Jonathan L Lewis: 9781463750046: Amazon.com: Books


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

So sad to hear. My wife dropped the bomb in Sept and I'm still working on getting out. So I have those restless nights to look forward to. I'm hoping they won't bother me, but I think deep down I know better. Just try to keep a positive attitude and try not to think of your Ex.

I loved my wife, but right now I hope her new boyfriend gives her a STD. Yeah I said it! :smthumbup:


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