# Is it over for me?



## Corum (Jun 7, 2012)

I have been married for about 1.5 years and it has been a rocky road. I have to blame myself most as all the signs were there but I just didn't want to see reality. 
Her first marriage at 43. Many partners, loved sex - often casual, told me she does not love right away; it can take years, not excited about our marriage...etc.

We have fought so much, I have had my love ridiculed and she has never been able to say she is in love with me. I loved her dearly and my heart leapt when she smiled. However after all this fighting - which she admits is mostly her fault due to her nature, combined with our lack of sex, her hostility and blame games, and her difficulty accepting my child, I have lost most of my feelings for her. I could not at this time honestly say I love her.

We have been to counseling and there have been improvements and she is making efforts, but I fear it is too late. She doesn't reach me and when she does start to argue it crashes down fast for me. Rather than think about how we are going to get better I now think about life without her and my next steps. I have felt this way for about 60 days,

Next week we go for a 10 day trip to Italy. I am hoping to build some happy memories to fill the void between us now. I do not however feel this is likely to happen - though I wish it would. I will stay positive on the trip and up-beat and try to build the relationship despite my doubts.

When do you know it's over?

I left my first wife of 14 years because she was cheating on me and would not stop fighting in front of our child. This time it is just me and there is no cheating...just my lost feelings.

This is much harder for me as I feel I am obligated to keep trying...but I feel nothing; I just want her to leave me alone most of the time now.


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## rpgmomma8404 (Aug 18, 2012)

If you are having these feelings and going out of your way to avoid her. I say it's probably time to split. I honestly don't think I could be with someone who wasn't willing to accept my child and wanted to argue all the time. If she was about 10 years older I would swear she was my dad's ex-girlfriend . I truly hope things get better for you. This is only my opinion. If you want to truly make it work then I really suggest counseling, individual and marriage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like you have nothing really left to stay for. Better to cut your losses early and move on.


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## Corum (Jun 7, 2012)

Thanks very much for the input.
BTW I want to make clear that she shows love for my daughter, but puts herself first - and wants me to do the same, even though she rationally knows that's wrong.

We are doing ind. and joint counseling, and it helps...but I think too little too late at this point.
We leave for 10 days in Italy tomorrow. I hope to build up some new good memories with her, but if we fail I think the road has ended for me...


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