# STBXW using alcoholic cousin to be my kids "nanny"



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Boy do I need to vent! My kids are going to Minnesota to see their mom for the summer. I learned from her brother (who is still pissed with her) that she will be using her cousin to watch the kids while she is at work. Of course, it upset me that these decisions are being made without my knowledge. Then my brother in law lays down the heavy: her cousin who has been living with her dad and brother has been filling the vodka and tequila bottles with water. Ouch.
The story on her cousin: he's a nice guy in his late 40's. Came down here from Colorado to live with him and find work because his GF kicked him out. He reminds me of a deadhead. Partied hard in the 70's and 80's. But now I've learned he's been drinking hard while at the brother's house. And he gets very belligerent when he's drunk which has occured recently too. Now, I don't know if my EX knows about his alocholism, but if there's anything I can do, you bet your A$$ I'm going to. He's slated to be the nanny for two months. This, after weeks of my EX fighting to claim the kids on taxes because of "child care". Is there anything I can do? I talked to my lawyer and he said unless he has a criminal history, I'm pretty screwed. 
I'm just angry because nobody mentioned the cousin was going to watch the kids. Not my EX. Nor her dad, who has been very close with the kids and I. Very dissapointed in him. Especially that he now knows his nephew is an alcoholic. I called my EX's dad to tell him what I learned and he said we should all discuss this. And that if I still think it's a bad idea, then the cousin won't go. I hope so. Because the cousin needs help. Like a 12-step program. The cousin apparently was looking forward to this to show/prove he can be responsible. I hope he can prove one day that he can turn himself around, but there's no way in hell he's practicing this turnaround with my kids. The kids leave in 10 days. Wish me luck everyone.


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

How old are your children?


----------



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Hello Cherry! My kids are 10(g) and 6(b). I have already talked with my EX's dad and told him my concerns. He spoke with the cousin and he said that if I feel uncomfortable about it, then he won't do it.
Next up is telling my EX. If I did, she would immediately think I'm manipulating everyone and trying to make things difficult and costlier. So my EXs ' dad will speak with her and tell her his concerns. I truly hope that once she hears what the concerns are, she won't allow it either. And that's assuming she has no clue about her cousins' issues, which I feel she has no clue.


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Houstondad said:


> Hello Cherry! My kids are 10(g) and 6(b). I have already talked with my EX's dad and told him my concerns. He spoke with the cousin and he said that if I feel uncomfortable about it, then he won't do it.
> Next up is telling my EX. If I did, she would immediately think I'm manipulating everyone and trying to make things difficult and costlier. So my EXs ' dad will speak with her and tell her his concerns. I truly hope that once she hears what the concerns are, she won't allow it either. And that's assuming she has no clue about her cousins' issues, which I feel she has no clue.


That's good to hear... At those ages, they still require quite a bit of supervision -- especially the six year old  I hope things work out and every one can have a safe and fun summer!


----------



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

I saw the kids' counselor for us to discuss their status, etc. And I brought up a few concerns. I brought up the alcoholic/addict cousin that was planned to go and her eyes were larger than basketballs. She said no way! She told me what to do next week that will protect me before my wife comes down to take the kids up North.


----------



## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Houstondad said:


> I saw the kids' counselor for us to discuss their status, etc. And I brought up a few concerns. I brought up the alcoholic/addict cousin that was planned to go and her eyes were larger than basketballs. She said no way! She told me what to do next week that will protect me before my wife comes down to take the kids up North.


Awfully vague. What do you mean protect you? Protect you from what? And what did the counselor tell you to do? Others might be interested in knowing what to do in this kind of situation.


----------



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

River1977 said:


> Awfully vague. What do you mean protect you? Protect you from what? And what did the counselor tell you to do? Others might be interested in knowing what to do in this kind of situation.


If EX hasn't turned over BF's driver's license info, it would be a good time to tell her that kids aren't going til info is provided. Don't wait til last minute to spring this on her. Plus you need time to run what checks you can when you get it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

I just learned that the cousin had snuck out on his bike and met my STBXW (when she was here to pick up the kids) at a rendezvous point where she picked him up and now he is staying with her and the kids to be the "nanny". I am worried for my kids and I feel angry and helpless. Please send me a private message if you would like to discuss further only because I am concerned my STBXW might be trolling on here.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Get a lawyer TODAY!


----------

