# I can't stand this anymore.



## Ngagedbutalone (Aug 20, 2014)

Let me start from the beginning. Me and my girlfriend have been friends for a long time, we got into a relationship like 1 year and a half ago. Everything was going well at the beginning and all was fun. I got her into fitness and eating healthy and she was happy. I used to smoke which she didn't like so I stopped for her but had been with some friends that were used to it and did it again, I had to lie because I knew she wasn't gonna let me. She then uncovered all that and knew the thruth, it went bad, she wanted to quit and all but we ended up being ok after a good talk. I don't know if it's me fault but recently she started giving a slack at herself, like she was eating healthy and now all she eats is sugary things which is killing her hormones IMO. The sex is bad too, we used to make it everyday now it's just 1 or 2 times a week if I'm lucky. Over all this, she is just mad, ALL THE TIME. I feel like a puppet because everytime I don't act like I should with her she gets mad and I feel bad and sorry. Why? I don't have to feel bad for what I WANT to do. She won't let me talk to other girls and she will even stare at me when she see a women which is looking nicer than her so I won't look. I feel like a toy with this girl, like a god damn animal. She does everything she wants, like buying a ferret which I didn't want. She waited for me to be away to get that thing home. But I don't have to talk over that. I almost never deny her anything I do everything she wants or else she gets mad and I feel bad and I don't want to feel bad so I always obey... She will get angry if I don't answer her text messages rapidly too. She won't thrust me going out with my friends nor she won't thrust me being alone in the appartement. I know I might have a bit to do with this but this, really is too much for me to enjoy our relationship anymore. I'm not happy, I feel like it's her relationship and I don't have anything to do with it. Sorry if my english is bad and yeah it's my first post but I don't know what to do, everytime I talk to her about this she doesn't care and her madness always come back. She's possessive, jealous and crazy... Thanks for anyone reading this.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So why are you with her?


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## Ngagedbutalone (Aug 20, 2014)

Because I love her and we do have some good times together but I'd say its 50/50.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

50-50 good to bad?????????????? Holy crap, man, get the hell out. Sorry to be so blunt but that is BAD.

How old are you? Have you ever dated anyone else?


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## Ngagedbutalone (Aug 20, 2014)

Low 20's I've always had 2 years plus relationship and I couldn't stand being alone so I've pretty much went to tthe first girl walking in to me. She's my third long-term relationship. I'd say I love her family more than I love her, pretty much the reason I'm still with her.


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## Ngagedbutalone (Aug 20, 2014)

Everytime I try to talk to her she just brings things like, your ex was sure a better person than me and bla bla bla. She cannot understand nor try to change a single thing.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have kids your age.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE start realizing what you're doing to yourself here. By thinking that you can't be alone, you've set yourself up for a lifetime of pain.

The first thing you have to do is get away from this GF and get out on your own.

Then you have to STAY alone for as long as it takes you to be happy ON YOUR OWN.

Here's something that many - too many - people never do learn: In order to be happy in a relationship, you MUST be happy without one. You must be happy with YOU. You must realize your own value, and that you do not NEED anyone else. Only then can you truly choose to be with someone. Notice I said CHOOSE. Only if you like your life without anyone will you be able to decide that you will be even happier WITH someone.

Does that make sense?

It took me 45 years and being cheated on by two husbands to realize that. And here I'm giving it to you when you're only, what, 22? 23? 

Please, get out on your own and find out what makes you happy. YOU, just YOU. No one else. Then DO those things. Be happy.


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## Ngagedbutalone (Aug 20, 2014)

Hey thanks a lot for that, I'll work this out you just made me realise that I may not be happy by myself.. I was seeking help and I definately got a lot from you. Good to hear someone with experience and again I can't thank you enough about this, good motivation.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Ngagedbutalone said:


> I knew she wasn't gonna let me.


She wouldn't "let you"



Ngagedbutalone said:


> The sex is bad too, we used to make it everyday now it's just 1 or 2 times a week if I'm lucky.


You get sex if "you're lucky"



Ngagedbutalone said:


> She won't let me talk to other girls and she will even stare at me when she see a women which is looking nicer than her so I won't look.


She won't "let you look"



Ngagedbutalone said:


> She does everything she wants


She won't "let you" do certain things but she does everything she wants.



Ngagedbutalone said:


> I don't want to feel bad so I always obey... She will get angry if I don't answer her text messages rapidly


You always obey so she won't get angry.



Ngagedbutalone said:


> I feel like a puppet





Ngagedbutalone said:


> I feel like a toy with this girl, like a god damn animal.


You feel like a puppet and a toy and an animal because you are obviously living in profound fear of this woman who has complete control over you and your actions. 

Why do you allow her so much power over you? Are you so afraid to lose her that you live like an animal in a virtual cage? Do you need a mother figure in your life dictating your every move, can you not think for yourself? These are good questions for a therapist.




Ngagedbutalone said:


> She won't thrust me going out with my friends nor she won't thrust me being alone in the appartement.*I know I might have a bit to do with this*


There's a backstory here. What did you do that she doesn't trust you going out with your friends or even being alone in the apartment?


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