# Emotional Blackmail



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Is a husband getting cranky and distant when the wife "forgets" about sex for a couple of weeks "emotional blackmail"?

the woodchuck


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I don't know about the husband, but this wife gets real cranky and distant when the hubs is okay with reading his book and going straight to sleep...

And my frustration is how I found this site LOL!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

No.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> I don't know about the husband, but this wife gets real cranky and distant when the hubs is okay with reading his book and going straight to sleep...
> 
> And my frustration is how I found this site LOL!


I will be perfectly honest with you. I did not know there were some men who did not take care of their wife's sexual needs till I came to TAM last November....

And I came for the same reason you did....

Things are much better now...

I thought Al Bundy was an urban myth.....

I guess because lots of women talk about cutting hubby off, but no man would admit his wife is walking around horny....I guess for obvious reasons....

Hope you find a fix...

cold fact

the woodchuck


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's not emotional blackmail. It's a normal reaction (being upset) when your needs are not being met. 

And nobody "forgets" about sex. You realize that is an excuse right?


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Woodchuck, 

Thanks for the kind words. My husband is an awesome man, it's just that he is LD right now. He suspects his test is down but drags his feet getting checked out. 

I'm on a HD role right now, poor guy! He doesn't intentionly ignore me, he just doesn't think about it. I think about it 24/7. How normal is that for someone married 34 years? 

I do think there is embarrassment involved for him.

I have had multiple surgeries and look like a tic-tac-toe board too. 

He says he doesn't notice or care about the scars, but I see them every time I look in the mirror.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Is a husband getting cranky and distant when the wife "forgets" about sex for a couple of weeks "emotional blackmail"?
> 
> the woodchuck


Is that what she is calling it? Or are you just curious. If she is saying it is then you have an issue where she is trying to make you feel guilty for wanting to have sex with your wife..How messed up is that?


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

No, that is not emotional blackmail. Also not emotional blackmail if one spouse gets cranky because the other has forgotten to tend to the house or kids or their job for a few weeks.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> No, that is not emotional blackmail. Also not emotional blackmail if one spouse gets cranky because the other has forgotten to tend to the house or kids or their job for a few weeks.


Each person has to communicate their needs and the other should do their best to comply. I think help being needed especially for SAHM's is not assumed by the spouse that leaves for work every day. Not that it shouldn't be, but it is not. Not too many men that are not getting sex, sit idly by waiting, most say something or try to get it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

My wife does the same thing. Laptop, phone, books and then goes to bed. She can not see the lack of sex as an issue for weeks at a time, and then I pull away and do my own thing and she wonders why?!

Either spouse should not be forgetting about sex. There is something wrong or they're low drive LD.

You should want to have sex with your other half and often, so why forget?

Not emotional blackmail to me either. Its my needs not being met and she is none the wiser after 13+ years...


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

No, it's a logical consequence of neglect and abuse. Would it be emotional blackmail for a wife to act sullen and angry if her husband had spent a few weeks punching her in the face?


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

LonelyinLove said:


> Woodchuck,
> 
> Thanks for the kind words. My husband is an awesome man, it's just that he is LD right now. He suspects his test is down but drags his feet getting checked out.
> 
> ...



Holy crap this is me, except for the being married 34 years.

I look like a tic-tac-toe board too, and I think about sex 24/7 while he is LD.

I get cranky and distant too.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Im with Woodchuck on this. 

Didnt really even think about wives with husbands not wanting or thinking about sex for weeks existing. I feel for you ladies. Its incredibly hurtful to think about sex every day and have your spouse apparently do most anything other than have sex with their spouse.

When they do finally realize sex is allowed after a couple of weeks, it can be hard to not be paranoid/feel hurt that you might just be getting "pity sex" to get you to stop being cranky.

I think it might even be harder for the wives as socially everyone thinks it should be the opposite.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> Woodchuck,
> 
> Thanks for the kind words. My husband is an awesome man, it's just that he is LD right now. He suspects his test is down but drags his feet getting checked out.
> 
> ...


Tell him to get a physical and blood work immediately....I drifted off into severe illness from not getting to the root of my problems....

I kept getting UTI's...finally got to the point where antibiotics didn't work...

Went to a urologist...I had a severely enlarged prostate, which kept my bladder from emptying completely...

I was close to going septic, had a blood glucose of 365 (should be 100-120).....

Yes guys don't like nurses handling our junk but they were really very nice...

Had TURP prostate surgery...No worse than getting a tooth pulled.....Had to go on IV antibiotics for 28 days....30 minutes a day in out patient...

Worst part was no sex for 10 weeks...but I survived...

feel like a new man...The infection had caused my body to be insulin resistant...I came home on insulin, but haven't needed it since the antibiotic treatment..

More energy, sex is better, I feel great...Made a new man out of me at 66...

As far as the scars....we all have them, inside and out...The people who love you love them too because they are a part of you...

Just wait till your man gets his groove back...I can see a lot of good times in the bedroom for the two of you

cold fact

the woodchuck


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

TheCuriousWife said:


> Holy crap this is me, except for the being married 34 years.
> 
> I look like a tic-tac-toe board too, and I think about sex 24/7 while he is LD.
> 
> I get cranky and distant too.


Where could I get the tic tac toe look for my wife...It seems to help the sex drive...You girls may have made the discovery of the century......Might work for guys too....

Just kidding, my wife is an absolutely wonderful woman...We have our spats, but I have loved her for almost 50 years. We have been through a lot, and are working on getting closer....

She was a HD bombshell for years....We had rock star sex..like daily for at least 12 years...Being HD also..."We didn't get out much"

cold fact

the woodchuck


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> I will be perfectly honest with you. I did not know there were some men who did not take care of their wife's sexual needs till I came to TAM last November....
> 
> And I came for the same reason you did....
> 
> ...


Don't forget Mr. Roper!!!


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Where could I get the tic tac toe look for my wife...It seems to help the sex drive...You girls may have made the discovery of the century......Might work for guys too....


Well it comes naturally after 4 heart surgeries, 2 lung surgeries, and a pace maker.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Where could I get the tic tac toe look for my wife...It seems to help the sex drive...You girls may have made the discovery of the century......Might work for guys too....
> 
> the woodchuck


Two C-sections, post-natal gall bladder, repair (3 surgeries) for a botched heart cath, and open heart surgery for a myxoma tumor of the heart.

I'm not real sure about everything that happened, but after my month long stay at Cleveland Clinic for the heart thing, my libido when thru the roof.

The Doc laughed and said a healthly heart makes a lot of things spring back to life.

It sure worked, but I wouldn't recommend it as an LD therapy LOL!


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

thecuriouswife said:


> well it comes naturally after 4 heart surgeries, 2 lung surgeries, and a pace maker.




yikes!


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

LonelyinLove said:


> yikes!


We sound about the same. 

Yep. Maybe it is the healthy heart. haha

I have a pacemaker so I always joke that I will keep on ticking, when I stop kicking. 

I wouldn't recommend it as therapy either.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Me too with the surgeries and scars, and the high drive. lately my drive has become more in the normal range but it was out of control for quite a while, like several times a day I needed an orgasm NEEDED it! 

Interesting trend but maybe it has more to do with deciding to live life to the fullest and to hell with what other people expect?

Yes, woodchuck, gong without makes anyone cranky or *****y, but not distant. Distance should be avoided at all costs dear.


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