# Childhood sexual abuse and intimacy in marriage.



## vsmiss2003 (Nov 24, 2009)

My husband was, I guess for a lack of a better term, raped by his older brother from the age of 6 to 11. I don't think he has ever dealt with it even though he thinks he has grown up and it doesn't bother him. I know this could definatly be causing some of our problems in our intimacy department. Has any one else dealt with a similar situation and what were the results? Have you gone to therapy about it? What did they say? We're going to therapy but this subject has not yet been breached. I wonder.... don't think I should bring it up...but will he ever?


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## Mogget (Nov 26, 2009)

I was in a similar situation as your husband - molested by my older brother from age 5 to 10. It definitely affects my intimacy with my husband and my ability to have orgasms during sex. The only tip I can give is don't EVER bring this subject up while you are in bed, or being sexual as it is REALLY hard to get the old bad stuff out of your head once it is raised and you don't want that linked to you, your marriage bed or your lovemaking.

I have not ever had therapy but have worked extensively on myself regarding this issue, and the many many problems it caused in me.


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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

My wife was sexually abused, and she attributes this largely to her lack of sex drive. She's gotten better over time with counseling, but there are still simple things she's very uncomfortable with because she links them with her abusive experiences. Although I've never done it, I agree with Mogget that bringing it up while in the act could be disastrous. Just being supportive and patient (she's acknowledged having these issues) has seemingly helped her open up, but if your husband isn't admitting these issues you may lightly suggest a little counseling.


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