# Hi! Just missing one thing



## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

Hi to all of you,

I came back last week from taking a week-long vacation on the beach. Yeap, great rest, I can accept that I had my downers because there were a lot of honeymooners and couples but I survived, weird enough I felt even better when I came back. 

I don't missed HER that much, I have come to understand and even liked the idea of not hurting each other anymore. On the other hand, I feel alone or lonely 4 years of living with somebody 365 days a year is hard to forget. I mentioned that I am missing one thing only and that's finding a new job. Man! I have been sending resumes out of the state and this city and no luck so far. Anyway, at least I have an income right? I just feel that it is time for me to move out of this city, I wanted to move out but the soon to b X, wanted to live here for the rest of her life. HAHA funny thing is that she ended up finding a new job 500 miles away and I am still stuck in here. 

God has a sense of humor huh? I am not losing hope and every day that goes by I feel more like myself. I am starting to do things that make me break a smile. In terms of dating, naaaa not ready yet, I don't even know how to after being out of the market for 4 years and well I am still putting myself together. The day will come when I am ready. I'm just 28, no kids, and with a bright future ahead of me, at least that's what everybody says 

Anyway just stopping to say hi and see how everybody is doing...


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

As far as dating again after being married and faithful for years, I was really lucky in that I had a friend who is an eternal bachelor and an accomplished player who "coached" me on being single again.

Just jump in and try to swim among the sharks. You're young. It shouldn't be too hard. How long have you been mourning your marriage? It's been awhile - I think you've mourned it a respectable amount of time. Life is waiting for you. It's a gift. Dont' squander it too long in mourning.

But that being said, I would try to concentrate on getting a job first for sure. (you want a different job? you have one now or not?)

Even though at age 40, the odds start to shift for men in our favor, there isn't too much of a market for unemployed, divorcing males, especially at age 28, assuming you would be dating women your own age (but don't assume - maybe you'd want a fling with a 48 year old or something - don't rule that out). Competition is going to be high at your age for a 23 year old hottie.

Unfortunately, what grandmothers told women years ago is probably true (and it sucks) - "No man is worth a damn until age 40." But. . .time is on your side and that's a great commodity to have. Don't squander it.

Good luck.


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

Thank you for replying, 

Well I do have a job now but I want something different, specially something out of this city. I have been mourning my marriage for nearly 5 months and the divorce is not even final. We separated 5 months ago but the divorce will be finalized at the end of this month or the beginning of September.

My soon to b x is already seeing somebody, it still shocks me how fast she got over this, anyway I just hope this rebound thing won't end up in a marriage because I've seen so many 2nd rebound marriages ending in divorce. I care for her, she is 26 and more immature than I am, anyway whatever she does is her life right?

Yeah, I feel the same about dating, it is just hard to put yourself in the market again. I am focusing on getting out of this city and a new job instead. If a relationship is meant to be it will happen whether I look for it or not I think.

Let's see what life brings me in these following months


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

@ stbhmaybe

Based on reading your posts I actually thought that you were much older than 28, I guess you are just wise. I really learn much from you. And I am glad I am out of the pit for good. Also, both me and my H are the same age as your stb-x. As far as immature, I kinda see my H as immature...still. I think part of the reason why he wanted a separation is because he wanted to know what it means to be single. We are high school sweethearts, we got married at 20, we were each other firsts at everything. But things are far from over. 

I am glad that you had a nice time off to your self. I hope that things keep looking brighter for you because you deserve to be happy and I know that you will be. Remember to not look at the circumstance, just have faith. I also hope that your stb-x doesn't rush things because we have seen that those do not end well. Keep us posted, and continue on your journey to freeing your self. I will continue to pray for you and your wife. 

God Bless!


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

Thank you prelude,

Thank you for your words and for praying for me. That's what I have noticed, a LOT of people are praying for me and I truly believe that the good feelings that everybody is sending me are helping a great way. I mean I haven't lost hope in life, I know it's just a phase and I know I will find true love one of these days. 

I just need to give time the chance to heal me, I was talking to my counselor and he said that sometimes we need these kinds of crisis to truly change us. One minute of pain, sadness and sorrow teaches us more than a lifetime of apparent happiness, richness and peace. 

I thank god for every single one of you, people that I don't even know in person that are praying for me, my family, my friends even people that I haven't spoken in years are wishing me the best. Honestly, one doesn't even know how much support one has until we are faced with this type of tribulations and I am blessed to have all of you in my life.


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