# I. Am. Done.



## akmb07 (Sep 7, 2011)

as you all know from some of my topics I have bonouced around between fixing my marriage and letting it go. Sure I did some things that weren't right. and so did he ( even if they boarded on abuse) 

but this is the last straw.

I came to OR at his insistence that he wanted to make things right so I did I'm looking for work, trying to find doctors ( talking and physc) that will work with me since there are more resources up here. 

but I know now there is no fixing this. 

Hubby had to let me us the computer to do some job searching and some doc hunting and forgot to log off of skype and his last convo popped up. He has been having a EA. 


He sent her over 1500 dollars while I was stuck in AL with barely anything to live off of.


he wants to be roomates with her he is insisting there is nothing going on. He brings up someone WHO IS JUST A FRIEND that I have been talking to since april who I have kept out of our marriage.( in short I don't go to him for support of anykind that has to do with my marriage. we play WoW and RP games that is it)

I wanted to fix this I still love him but now I don't know. He wants to seperate which is fine but I'm highly tempted to just give him Divorce papers as soon as I'm well enough to do so


I just after this I don't see a reason why I should keep hope that we can be fixed when obviously he doesn't have any interest in doing so. He keeps saying he is confused but honestly his actions are saying otherwise. I do have a copy of the chat log so when we go to court I will have proof. I'm just hurting right now, and angry and confused myself. I really don't want to be around him but I have nowhere to go here as I have no family and my blood family cut me out of the family along time ago. He is trying to cake eat and I'm not letting him do that to me anymore. I know I did wrong but I deserve better. 


honestly I'm trying really hard not to care bout the fact that he is having a EA with this girl. Honestly she can have him. I hope they are happy as peas and carrots with each other. I'm just wanting so support as this has almost put me in the emergency room ( it triggered a anxiety attack as I suffer from those on a reg basis)


I. am . done

no more crying, no more carring. 

as far I am concerned he is notthing more than a very bad decision made by my heart


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

He is sending her money, wants to live with her and wants a separation.

File. 

Be done with him. You deserve better.


----------



## akmb07 (Sep 7, 2011)

I am. as soon as I find a job I will file. and you are right I deserve better


----------



## akmb07 (Sep 7, 2011)

Well I told him last night that I want a divorce. I swear to go I have never seen a man beg, plead and cry like he did. He wants a seperation to work on us I told him get rid of her and we will talk. He refused and I told him. Well then there is notthing to work on. I want more I deserve better and intill you drop her you can for get a seperation. I'm going to the courthouse to day to file My Inlaws are helping me out funny enough as they don't approve of his behavior either


----------



## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Good deal ak you stay strong!


----------



## akmb07 (Sep 7, 2011)

well now things have gotten better a little bit although he didn't get home till really late last night from school. We are now sleeping in seperate rooms since I have no where to go here and no family. He is still being friendly but still doesn't want to divorce me. He says he wants to start back over but I once again told him he would have to prove that he isn't cheating. I just recently found on a email account we share a billing notice for a web girl cam site so I still think he is blowing smoke up my ass. The hardest part bout all of this is I love him and a part of me just wants to over look it and try to be with him but the other part is saying no. its over. its done. he isn't going to work on us when he has another option. I just feel so sad right now........ I still love him but even after all of fighting and things he has done that have boarderlined on abuse but the cheating is the one thing I can't get over........ funny isn't it.


----------



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

What a horrible discovery for you. I know how you feel sister, I've seen those chats too. It tears you apart and destroys everything you believed about your marriage and his "words".

No more crying, no more caring. Right on! Put yourself in that mindset and it will be a little easier.

You've given him plenty of chances but he continues to cake-eat. Time to let go. I know its not easy.. I'm going through it too.


----------

