# This never gets easier..... now I dont want it.



## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Quick Back-story..
* Together for a LOOOONG time.
* Both mid to late 30's
* Crazy sex life in teens, she was a freak and really wanted crazy sex. 
* BC for her and it died. 
* Married for many years with nothing more than every 2-3 weeks of "get by" sex. I rubbed them out in the shower pretty regular. At one point she may have had an affair (She claims no but at the very least there was some connection with a guy).
* Two kids later (young kids, in our 30's) I get snipped, she quits the bc.

A few months later this ravenous woman shows up in my bed. Keep in mind, this is a complete 180. For a short stint every month she is all kinds of freak. We have always done a little more "taboo" stuff (light bondage, anal, spanking, porn, toys, etc.) but nothing like adding a 3rd, public sex, etc. This all changed and before long I had her in an alley pounding her from behind because she couldn’t make it home.

Now she has a CRAZY hunger those few days a month. We have talked about adding a woman (I will not touch the other woman in this FANTASY, but get to be there, play and watch). She really, really likes the idea of DP (again, fantasy... will almost certainly never happen), we watch gang bang porn, and her most recent conquest is deep throating and throat-f8king. She also knows we are pretty good at sex and talked about filming it and letting someone watch it or watch us for confirmation that we are good! The rest of the month she could care less if I am even in the house but for those 4-10 days we get our serious freak on. 

All is well and good, right? .....not exactly....

I have since been diagnosed with Low T (stress and enlarged liver). I am on the shot a few times a month but with one shot a month it was only 252 and should be in the high 500's. The dosage has since been upped but it hasn’t been long enough to know if it is going to help.

Here is the problem.... during this stint every month we have sex sometimes several times a day. The most recently was 4 times in one day.... I’m 38 and not in the shape I used to be in! We also don’t have sex for 15 minutes, we are long haulers and will have sex for at minimum an hour or so. Regular sex can last 1.5 – 2 hours and does so pretty regular. And now, due to my low T, I really could care less and sometimes would rather just go to sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still all in. I went too many years with nothing meaningful sexually. I turned down advances from other women (honestly), etc. I am not passing this up. Besides, after a few days the switch goes off and she could care less for another few weeks. 

Regardless, this is all VERY confusing. We lived with her saying no for literally about 16 years, and now she is fully fledged wants to do it all and I could give a crap less and would rather sleep. I’m actually leading my libido with my mental desire more so than my erection...

WTH.... Anyone else deal with this stuff? Sounds too good to be true but this is an honest to God situation.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Depth.Inside said:


> Quick Back-story..
> * Together for a LOOOONG time.
> * Both mid to late 30's
> * Crazy sex life in teens, she was a freak and really wanted crazy sex.
> ...


Are you drinking alcohol? That might be whats messing you up and drink enough water.

I'd find a doc that gets your test levels in the high ranges...


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Actually I dont drink, do drugs, smoke, etc. Im very, very clean. I have no problem with others drinking, just not for me.

My dr. is working on it but wants to bring it up slowly so we dont overshoot and have to address that. He is testing every 3 months and seeing what happens.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I would say grin and bear it so to speak, if you deny her it may never come back, wait for your T stuff to get back to normal, start working out more they say lifting weights helps stimulate T.
Just because you have sex multiple times a day doesn't mean you have to orgasm every time(unless she demands it) give her several orgasms that should tire her out some.
Either way enjoy it too many people here with the opposite problem I would rather be worried about keeping up than never getting to run.


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Thats kind of the game plan for now. I used to be a gym rat and now the dr is telling me to go back, too much weight in the middle and it is impacting my liver. That will help greatly...

Just have to figure out how to keep up! We have already had sex the last two days in a row and now she is pushing for a freak fest tonight so literally, we will be up until midnight doing some crazy stuff... At this point im just keeping up. Im like that kid that never got candy at home and then finds a ten dollar bill, buys everything they can get their hands on, and then founders....

No matter what, show no weakness!


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Lelo. 

That is all.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Depth.Inside said:


> Regardless, this is all VERY confusing. We lived with her saying no for literally about 16 years, and now she is fully fledged wants to do it all and I could give a crap less and would rather sleep. I’m actually leading my libido with my mental desire more so than my erection...
> 
> WTH.... Anyone else deal with this stuff? Sounds too good to be true but this is an honest to God situation.


Do you have any resentment? Perhaps a bit upset that when it was important to you, she pushed it aside, but now that it is important to her, it should be important to the marriage?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Depth.Inside said:


> Thats kind of the game plan for now. I used to be a gym rat and now the dr is telling me to go back, too much weight in the middle and it is impacting my liver. That will help greatly...
> 
> Just have to figure out how to keep up! We have already had sex the last two days in a row and now she is pushing for a freak fest tonight so literally, we will be up until midnight doing some crazy stuff... At this point im just keeping up. Im like that kid that never got candy at home and then finds a ten dollar bill, buys everything they can get their hands on, and then founders....
> 
> No matter what, show no weakness!


Get that flab off! I'd shoot for 12 lbs per month while you are "fat". Plan it out and get it done.


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Yes... actually. Very much yes. I was so rejected for years and years. I gave 100% to her in every way in hopes she would reciprocate. She never would. That’s why I have the hang-up about the possible affair. She said she didn’t but the signs were there, she was cold to boot, and I still have so much confusion about that entire massive span. 

Now out of nowhere she is an animal for several days a month and right back to, "no thanks" a few days later. It is very frustrating. 

However, I will say that even porn doesn’t hold the same intrigue it used to. My drive has simply dropped off. There have been numerous times I had the house to myself and could have had some "me time" but ended up going outside and doing something around the house.

What really sucks is she doesn’t feel good either because we are way too busy as people. I keep telling her to go to the doctor to have everything checked and see if there is anything they can do for her or see if anything is even wrong or if it is simply our lifestyle. She is in total denial and tells me life just sucks and they can do nothing for her. This actually burns me because she wont know unless she spends the hour at the office and hears it from the doctor’s mouth (and yes, it is a female physician, the same one that does the paps for my wife so there isn’t anything to hide).


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Get that flab off! I'd shoot for 12 lbs per month while you are "fat". Plan it out and get it done.


Yeah, not a bad plan.. Im at 204 and need to get down to 180 - 185'ish. I still pack some mass so it will be hard to even lose that but I need to get the flubber off of my butt.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

Your current capacity for sex doesn't sound like someone who is low T and 38. 

I have seen the kind of whiplash transition you have described. I find it amazing the extent to which the mind follows the body in not just a simple connection of "I feel the need for sex and therefore I will seek it" but a wholesale change in beliefs, opinions and outlook.

Although you don't want to be the fun police, I think you need to do yourself a favour and catch her in a high drive moment and ask "How should we deal from now on with situations where one of us is ready to rumble and the other person just wants to sleep. How do we prevent the HD person from feeling lonely, unloved and rejected?

Her sex drive could easily disappear entirely again and she really won't understand why you can't just rub one out and leave her alone.


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## Depth.Inside (Jul 5, 2012)

Done make sense LH... I’m on a sexfest like I haven’t had in years! 

Seriously, that is valid. We need to talk about the future. I have tried to talk to her about the cold I lived through but it does not do any good. She simply does not have that type of personality where she "shares." She would rather forget everything and just drudge through another day. She has DEEP denial about stuff like that and doesn’t want to address it.

Still, at bare minimum I need to put together a plan for me so incase she does go back on the cold shoulder bit 100%. Now that I know how life can be on any level I can’t go through that again without a taste of what I missed for SOOOOOO long.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Depth.Inside said:


> Done make sense LH... I’m on a sexfest like I haven’t had in years!
> 
> Seriously, that is valid. We need to talk about the future. I have tried to talk to her about the cold I lived through but it does not do any good. She simply does not have that type of personality where she "shares." She would rather forget everything and just drudge through another day. She has DEEP denial about stuff like that and doesn’t want to address it.


My guess is that you need to force her to address it. I think that the combination of resentment, whiplash and low T is causing these issues. So while working with your doctor is part of the solution, it won't fix everything. Figuring out a plan with your wife, as well as addressing your resentment likely need to be part of it as well.



> Still, at bare minimum I need to put together a plan for me so incase she does go back on the cold shoulder bit 100%. Now that I know how life can be on any level I can’t go through that again without a taste of what I missed for SOOOOOO long.


This is why the resentment needs to be addressed. Because is she goes cold, all the old hurts will coming roaring back. You will likely perceive it being all about her, and not about your marriage or your feelings. That could really hurt your marriage.


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