# Surevey: Which would you prefer to have?



## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

A working wife OR a stay-at-home wife. 

Feel free to tell me why. Also, if she was a stay-at-home wife, could you stay attracted to her? Would you still think she is mentally stimulating?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I prefer a working wife.

I like that she has her own job, her own career, that she is her own person. Not dependant on me, she does not need me.

We are a team, we are together because we want to be, not because we have to be.

I could Die tomorrow and I do not ahve to worry about who will take care of my wife and children...She is fully capable of doing that.

A strong woman is a turn on.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

On the Flip side, SAHM don't get mad at me, Everything that a SAHM mom is a challenge with the kids and other things, it is certainly a full time job, as long as it is wht you chose to do and you are satisifed with it.

But for me, my wife went to college for 6 years, she worked way to ahrd for her not to pursue her career.

To me it is a choice for the woman, I fully respect both choices.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

GAsoccerman said:


> I prefer a working wife.
> 
> I like that she has her own job, her own career, that she is her own person. Not dependant on me, she does not need me.
> 
> ...


Would you find it a turn off if your wife decided that she is no longer going to work a full-time job, but instead stay at home to take care of the kids and house?


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

I work a lot of hours, and I would love for my wife to be a stay at home mom. I was at home with the kids for some time, and she worked. I loved that time, and loved taking care of her. I would love to be taken care of in that way now that I am back to work.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hmmm... I'm a working mom that runs a business from home. I loved being "only" a SAHM without the business, but this allows me to homeschool the kids and the 12 foot commute is great! :smthumbup:

FWIW, I did not like being the breadwinner with two jobs while hubby stayed at home. I never got to see our six kids.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I prefer my wife to work because SHE is a healthier, happier person for doing so.

draconis


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I want a stay-at-home wife so she can keep up with the errands, bill paying, cleaning, yard work and laundry while I work from home...and if she can cook, even better. It would give me more time to hang out with my husband and kids. Anyone game?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

loveandmarriage...

Would it be a turn off? no it wouldn't be, not why I married my wife, I married her for who she is, not what she does.

Would it make our life harder? sure, 2 incomes are better then one, We go on 2 vacations a year we go out to dinner once a week. We do allot of things that cost money, So we would have to cut the things we enjoy out if she were a SAHM.

But she did think about being a SAHM when our first child was born, she was glad when she did go back to work.

She likes to work and be a professional, as I said, that is "her career" that is "hers" and she needs that.

I am cool with whatever she wants. She works 35 Hours a week as opposed to 40 hours, becuase that is what she wants. I stand behind her decision.


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## soultempest (Apr 1, 2008)

Definitely a working wife. My wife stayed at home the last 3 years, and I think it crippled our marriage.
She become depressed, and simply had nothing more to offer me in terms of intellectual stimulation.
(She does work now fyi)


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## Gin74 (Oct 21, 2008)

I am a SAHM and do work from home part-time. I have struggled with some of the aspects of it, but I really didn't want my son to be raised by someone else. I totally respect those who work outside of home and in no way think that they are any less of a parent if they do so. I have many friends who would love to be in my shoes, to raise their kids and work from home, but then again I do miss having the adult interaction that people gain from working. I don't know if this has an effect on my husband. I know that he feels good in knowing that our son is safe with me and he knows where we are at most times, but then again I feel that he knows that I am missing something. So I guess there are both pros and cons to it. I think once the kids get older, then I will go back, but when they are so young, I feel like I don't want to miss out on any milestone they conquer. I grew up with my mom being at home and looking back, I appreciated that and do to this day. I think my husband would like for me to work outside of the home cause he feels that I am missing something maybe.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

My wife and I always have worked opposite shifts so that one or both of us are always home with our kids. Grandparents also help some to give us "our" time too. A con to this is that we have to make every minute quality because we do no have the quantity. But it really works for us.

draconis


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

I'd rather have a stay at home mom. i want my kids around her good solid influence as much as possible in their youth/formative years.

although, somesincereperson, i think you're onto somthing with your post on this thread. my wife told me once that she missed talking to adults.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I moved across country a few years after my first was born. Shortly after that our second was born, a couple more years our third. 

The company I worked for didn't have an office where I was. I worked out of my home. There was always someone home for the kids as they grew up. 

My wife had the occasional substitute teacher job, another working in the local mall food court (managing a food joint), also had a cleaning service. 

The kids were never alone and always had someone around for them.

I think it['s good to have the influence for the kids, but you do need someone to talk to at times. 

I've heard it said the the average IQ of a household goes down when kids arrive. It's kind of true, but I always tried to raise the intelligence when talking to my kids...not over their heads, but explaning things so they understand better. 

Arguably the non stay at home parent gets to have intelligent conversations. The stay at home has to "educate" the kids. 

I think My situation was ideal for all of us.


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## tornapart2980 (Nov 23, 2008)

i would rather a working wife over a stay at home wife anyday


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

torn - and what about your kids?!?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I would prefer a not-lazy and indulgent wife, so either choice is fine.

If working are a job throw herself into it without feeling resentful that they are not taken care of.

If a stay at home wife, do not just be all about yoga class, lunch with the girls, watching Oprah, and shopping. Stay home and run the household, make an impact on your kids and the welfare of the family.


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## tornapart2980 (Nov 23, 2008)

dcrim said:


> torn - and what about your kids?!?


what kids? my wife can not kids so i wont be having any anytime soon. not like my wife works anyway.


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

I gave my gf a choice of whether she wanted to work, with the caveat that less money coming in means a proportional drop in lifestyle.

With no kids, I would much prefer that she works though. Its much safer these days.


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