# Masturbating next to sleeping partner



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I never knew how people could do it. But I did it and it was awesome. He didn't wake up and having to be quiet made it more exciting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

As long as it is ok with the partner go for it. I might get annoyed if she turned on a vibe and woke me up, she would get annoyed if i turned on porn. 

A Tempurpedic bed makes is very easy not to disturb your partner.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

King Ding Dong said:


> As long as it is ok with the partner go for it. I might get annoyed if she turned on a vibe and woke me up, she would get annoyed if i turned on porn.
> 
> A Tempurpedic bed makes is very easy not to disturb your partner.


King she said that he didn't wake up, so clearly he had no idea! Maybe she didn't use the vibe ;-). 

Well done Diwali, you're my hero!


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

As a general rule, one partner could feel left out and resentful. I do not think that is a problem in Diwali123's case. Just need communication about the issue.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

If my wifes sexy ass is sticking out from the blankets I have let one off or I cant sleep. Way too hot to not let one go


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Not cool. When my husband did this, waking me up, I realized his daily 5am habit of sneaking downstairs to satisfy his masterbation/porn addiction had escalated. He was now seeking a greater "high". It was a new low for him and proved to me just how much he disrespected me as a human being. it was as if he was smearing in my face, his constant refusal to have sex with me. He simply preferred his hand.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

That's not an issue. I am the one who wants it all the time and he turns me down. I didn't use a vibe, just looked at him a lot. 
I don't think he would mind because he's been sick and I got my period so I'm climbing the walls like an 18 year old male virgin. Except 18 year olds have privacy and lots of time to themselves......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

No issues in this marriage with that. Turns my H on.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

Well when he cums in like 5 minutes when we're having sex (once a month) then rolls over and goes to sleep, then yeah, on occasion I have taken care of business on my own right next to him while he was asleep. He wouldn't hear anything over his snoring anyway.


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Just reading this I'm blown away by the ladies who male partners
don't want to please them and make them happy.Not once have I
ever said not to my wife.There's nothing wrong, with mastubating
next to your spouse when there asleep.Its only wrong if your turning them down if they want sex.Pleasing yourself is preferable
to going out and cheating.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

SaltInWound said:


> Not cool. When my husband did this, waking me up, I realized his daily 5am habit of sneaking downstairs to satisfy his masterbation/porn addiction had escalated. He was now seeking a greater "high". It was a new low for him and proved to me just how much he disrespected me as a human being. it was as if he was smearing in my face, his constant refusal to have sex with me. He simply preferred his hand.


Its not cool in your situation I suppose but it is plenty cool in many healthy marriages without addiction or other issues present. 

Some spouses including my wife and I find it a turn on. It certainly doesnt make us angry or give us feelings of disprespect toward each other.

I am sorry to read about your issues however. I can say in the past our drives were more mismatched and we had our own issues. During those times it was clearly more appealing to self serve than to run into an angry wall and an arguement when the goal was enjoyment and relaxation.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

SaltInWound said:


> Not cool. When my husband did this, waking me up, I realized his daily 5am habit of sneaking downstairs to satisfy his masterbation/porn addiction had escalated. He was now seeking a greater "high". It was a new low for him and proved to me just how much he disrespected me as a human being. it was as if he was smearing in my face, his constant refusal to have sex with me. He simply preferred his hand.


Woah....Did it for years, no addiction, just exreme High Drive...Never resorted to masturbation when the wife was willing and available...WHEN NOT, MY DRIVE WAS TOO INTRUSIVE TO ALLOW ME TO FOCUS ON WORK ETC....

At 66 I could still enjoy sex twice a day...Or more, My favorite is "Last night and again this morning"....Even a very high drive is not addiction......In 47 years I have NEVER refused my wife sex....In fact I offer it on a daily basis.....As her drive has lowered the hardest part is learning to take rejection in good spirits....

Lots of cuddling and together time helps.....

Have you ever ASKED why he prefers masterbation to sex with you?


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have pulled it off a couple of times (pun intended) but if my wife was in bed with me she was almost always available for a romp...or two...I'm a lucky dude....:smthumbup:


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## kcguy (Nov 15, 2010)

I couldn't resist this one. I have caught my ex wife unknowningly doing this while I slept. I have walked in on her doing this when she thought I was gone. I have discussed this in depth with therapist, Psychatrist, Minister, a few close friends, woman and men, that wouldn't get back to her. here is the consensus. 
1. If you have offered to be with your partner and they have said no, not in the mood, ok. You ask them to watch, join, or participate. They have no room really to be angry, jilted, betrayed or jeaolus.
2. If you aren't involving them because you don't want them there, to know, etc. What are you visualizing while performing the acts.. Since you stated you wanted him, thought of him, probably he was tired, you just wanted some relief, then go to sleep. Very common with woman, some need privacy, it's normal for both sexes to do this after marriage, it's not a bad thing in moderation and how it's done. It can be healthy. 
3. If we are doing this as a substitution for intimacy from or for our spouse, because of healt reasons, and you aren't willing to find work arounds.. flag to find some help. Resentments will probably build up
4. If your partnet, spouse finds you doing it, knows and is upset you aren't asking to be part of some of it, join in or what ever, again, flag. This is a wonderful chance at intemacy and doesn't have to be sex, but can be a lot of fun. My partnter didn't want me to know, be there, I would have loved to help her, i dind't have to have sex, just help pleasure her would be enough. She has issues, we aren't together anymore. 
5. Look in the mirror. What are you doing. A little spicy fun, can be cool, ok and healthy. Talk to your partner see how they feel as others have said. 
6. Because a partner is sick, getting older and not in the mood isn't rejection, it's change. We have to greave the losses and make lemonade. that is the vow we made. For better or worse. We can find things that do work. Get off our buts and do some research. They may be scared, feel guilty, or worse feel less of a man or woman because of an ill-ness that isn't allowing them to give what they want. I know. I am one of them. She didn't get it. didn't care. Moved on. That's ok now. her loss. I have so many other talents to give another person who will love what I have. take care and good luck.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Never masturbated in bed while my wife is sleeping. Why would I when I can maybe have sex with her?


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

He doesn't want to help me. He won't do anything unless it involves PIV. 
In three years I can think of one time we have been sexual without PIV. 
He is on the low end of normal for T levels and refuses to get on testosterone. Normally we do it two or three tImes a week which is great, but once in two weeks isn't enough for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kcguy (Nov 15, 2010)

In my opinion, if he's not doing his part and you can have really honestly talked to him about your needs, been open. What about you tape yourself and show him? Say, do something really cool for yourself, but have fun, forget the camera, and show him what he's missing.. Men are stupid sometimes. I know. I am one of them. Some more than others. Find articles about mutual masturabtion, etc. If he's still going to be a dold, like my group has said, you do your part, your best and they still don't respond, enjoy what you do get, then have a blast with the rest. Why.... it's on them. record the conversation if you have to..LOL. But Hey, maybe catching you a few times will put a fire under his butt to do something about it. Good luck.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

King Ding Dong said:


> I might get annoyed if she turned on a vibe and woke me up


Really? I sure as hell wouldn't get annoyed if she woke me up this way. I would get annoyed if she woke me up this way and then refused me. And I would get annoyed if I found out she did this without trying to wake me up.

I'm pretty sure my wife has never done this. But just the other day she woke up horny at 4AM. She layed there waiting for me to wake up and finally just went ahead and woke me at 5:30. She was climbing the walls by then.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

That's what I meant. Waking me up with with a Harley (aka magic wand) and not wanting me. Never happened. Just sayin, that would not go over well.

Congrats on having a good horny wife. Show off.


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I have pulled it off a couple of times (pun intended) but if my wife was in bed with me she was almost always available for a romp...or two...I'm a lucky dude....:smthumbup:


That's the best way to handle it (pun definitely intended)


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Mr Used To Know said:


> If my wifes sexy ass is sticking out from the blankets I have let one off or I cant sleep. Way too hot to not let one go


Do you mind if I borrow that image? My wife's ass is ... the opposite of sexy.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

If I woke up to find my wife masturbating in bed next to me I might just explode with excitement. That would be awesome! I would be curious why she wouldn't just wake me up, but, hey, just the sight of her pleasuring herself would fan-freakin-tastic.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

haha im always up for this.
usually my wife will make it a point to "accidentally" wake me up.
no problem there.
once when she thought i was going to be at work i walked in and found her going at it with her vibe and a dildo.
HOT.
worked out for both of us.:smthumbup:


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I've done it.

I usually don't... I'll use the bathroom but sometimes I get into bed, I'm horny laying next to my wife and too lazy (or afraid of waking my wife) to get out of bed so I take care of myself right there. This is usually because my wife wasn't interested.

But I would be angry if my wife did it, only because I'm always willing and have a higher drive than she, and never refuse her.


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## Enamored (Dec 25, 2009)

All the time ... Use my smart phone for the stimulous a.k.a. porn....


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

diwali123 said:


> He doesn't want to help me. He won't do anything unless it involves PIV.
> In three years I can think of one time we have been sexual without PIV.
> He is on the low end of normal for T levels and refuses to get on testosterone. Normally we do it two or three tImes a week which is great, but once in two weeks isn't enough for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So many partners don,t get it.This is one of the true,fun
joyful things we can do for a loving spouse,that is special.
Diwali,I feel for you,sounds to me like your husband is a
little on the selfish side he always expects PIV sex
with out any work on his part.

I guess some people don't get that emotional and sexual
satisfied feeling.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

diwali123 said:


> He doesn't want to help me. He won't do anything unless it involves PIV.
> In three years I can think of one time we have been sexual without PIV.
> He is on the low end of normal for T levels and refuses to get on testosterone. Normally we do it two or three tImes a week which is great, but once in two weeks isn't enough for me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't understand the resistance to testosterone. I can get by with Cialis, but the biggest thing for me is the energy. If my levels get to low I just get worn out so quickly. I can't keep up with my kids. Mowing the lawn get a exhausting. Mowing the lawn and having no energy for anything else on Saturday is just not a life.


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## ALWAYS TRYING (Mar 2, 2013)

I have never with him next to me. And if I woke up to him rubbing one out I again would be very hurt. Issues lots of issues. Because if he turns me down and then masturbates that's hurtful.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

He has energy. 
Our MC just said PIV is his thing. He is very good at it, I always have an O or two or three. But if he's not in the mood, he's just not in the mood.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Sometimes its just quicker to rub one out yourself if you need that release.......


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