# Unhappy in Marriage



## georgiapeach08 (Aug 13, 2012)

I need some advice. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years but have been together for 3 1/2 and we also have 2 kids together. Unfortunately, things are not going that well. I feel like the connection we use to have is gone. When I look at him I just don't feel like I love him. 
I don't really know when I started to feel this way but it has been at least 4 months. Right now we are also struggling financially. So we really don't go out and do anything together. Our kids pretty much take up all of our time(which is to be expected of course). But the passion in our relationship has disappered. We barely have sex. maybe once every 2-3 weeks. He says it is because he has PTSD from going over seas so many times but I wonder if it is just me. Like I don't interest him anymore. We also never really kiss, hold hands, or any of that stuff anymore. It really makes me feel very lonely.
This may sound bad, but often times I find myself thinking about what it would be like to not be with hi anymore and be with someone who is more exciting. But I don't want to hurt the kids or him because he is an amazing father. Last night we kinda had a talk and he says that he gets nothing from me...that he feels like I have checked out of the marriage(which is partly true). He says that I am being selfish and only thinking about myself and not taking into consideration of all the things he has gone through from loosing friends in wars and having PTSD. I stay at home with our kids all day and when he comes home he plasy with the kids, we eat dinner, and he goes straight to sleep. This just leaves me longing for him to kiss me or at least act like he still loves me. 
Is it to late for our marriage....any advice from you guys would be great!!!


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Talk to him. Let him know how unhappy you are and help him become aware that something neeeds to change because it sounds like your on the verge of leaving. It is perfectly normal to want attention and affection from your spouse. Perhaps you two should try marriage counseling and individual counseling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jisela2012 (Sep 2, 2012)

Im in the same boat as well. My husand got medically discharged from the army. He is sick so he stays home while I work. But for this past year he hardly touches me. He says its because of his flare ups. but yet he can go to the gym and work out. Idk what to do


----------



## SuddenlyLost (Sep 3, 2012)

I think a lot of people are in this situation. My husband isn't in the military, but we are having issues too. We have been married 8 years and together 10. He just told me last month that he hasn't been happy with me sexually in 7-8 years. Yeah - most if not all of our marriage. He also isn't sure he wants to be married anymore. I feel totally lost. I have no idea what to do, what to say, how to act, or how to feel. He gets upset if I show him my feelings - that I'm unhappy. But he can tell me the things he has in the last few months. 

About three months ago he told me I was gaining to much weight and needed to loose weight. I am 5'3" and weigh 119lbs. I weighed 105lbs. when I met him. I have since had two kids and am up to 119lbs. To me 14 pounds in 10 years doesn't seem like that much. But, I have done everything I can to loose the weight over the last three months. I practically starve myself. I can't eat because I am feeling depressed. I can't eat because the way he looks at me - I feel ugly.

What am I supposed to do or feel?

You see, lots of people are unhappy. I guess I am happy for you because you are finding this out now - early in your relationship. 

I get that problems in a marriage can be hard on the kids - my 6 year old told my mother-in-law that "Mommy and Daddy fight a lot" This killed me. Has it effected your kids yet? Maybe it wont if you fix it early enough.

Honestly - I don't think that you should have to change yourself just to please him. If he isn't going to make the effort to make changes and improve the relationship why should you do all the work?

It takes two to fix a marriage - but both of you have to want to do it. If you aren't feeling loved you can't fix that it is him that has to make an adjustment in the relationship to fix his attitude.

Sincerely,
SuddenlyLost


----------

