# How should I react to my husband's feelings for his ex-gf? Just not react at all?



## elenor19 (Aug 30, 2012)

My husband and I have been married for 22 years. He had a summer relationship (his first love, as he describes it) about 30 years ago. Then the relationship continued via letters and phone for 5 more years. Since then, they more or less have been out of touch. In last couple of decades they only met once, when her first husband and she visited my husband some 23 years ago. She has been married a couple of times and has her own family now. They got back in touch three years ago via facebook. In fact she and I have had fb intereactions also. BTW, we currently live in two separate continents.
Last one year, I see that my husbands tone in conversations with his ex-gf is getting, well, too emotional(!). Last year, in reply to her birthday greetings he said "Thanks for being part of my very special past, my best years". He travels for work a lot. And as he is relaxing in evening, he has e-chats with her, maybe every few weeks. In one, from a year ago, he writes, he "yearns" to talk to her, share important decisions in work and life with her, his "most special friend." He writes to her that he is glad to see her children with "same love and adoration" as she does, that he "loves her more than ever". Last week he was writing to her that he "lived and breathed the moments he had with her" for years and she shaped him for what he is now.
Also, couple of times when my husband and I have been out, eg. for my birthday, he had spent about half the time reminiscing about those days with his ex-gf. When I confronted him, that I while I had no problems with them both being in touch as friends, I was not comfortable his this kind of tone of conversation with her. He keeps telling me that he only loves me, and all that is just how he would talk to any close friend, and I am just being insecure; it still gets to me. Even if he talks to very close, dear, friends that way, maybe it is not just the same when the person is an ex-gf.
All I am asking him is to think that he is hurting my feelings, at the very least, and just moderate his overflowing emotions re. ex-gf. Is it all my over-reaction?


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

No...you are not over-reacting. 

There is a line...define it.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

This is NOT okay.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

He needs to read this book

Dr. Shirley Glass - NOT "Just Friends"

What he is doing is NOT ok.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

It's like a flippin' disease...justfriendiscitis...


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