# Ex-Coworker texting and calling My Husband at Night



## Gitana48 (Oct 20, 2017)

My relationship with my DH has suffered from prior acts of him being unfaithful.. We are trying to save our marriage. We have had many disagreements about this lady when he was still working with her. She would call and text at inappropriate times but they were working together then. She would call him to help with everything from her car to getting directions, just a wide range of reasons she NEEDED to talk to my husband. It was aggravating then and now she text and called last night to ask him question about something she could have easily accessed through Google. I voiced my concern to my DH and he starts yelling at me and says that I'm being crazy. I told him that she wouldn't be ok with me calling her husband in the middle of the night and he wouldn't like it some man was calling me in the middle of the night. He just stared at me like I'm the one in the wrong here. Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate? I'm asking because I'm currently having health issues and I'm in a lot of pain so maybe I'm just over sensitive.


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## Works (Apr 3, 2016)

Gitana48 said:


> My relationship with my DH has suffered from prior acts of him being unfaithful.. We are trying to save our marriage. We have had many disagreements about this lady when he was still working with her. She would call and text at inappropriate times but they were working together then. She would call him to help with everything from her car to getting directions, just a wide range of reasons she NEEDED to talk to my husband. It was aggravating then and now she text and called last night to ask him question about something she could have easily accessed through Google. I voiced my concern to my DH and he starts yelling at me and says that I'm being crazy. I told him that she wouldn't be ok with me calling her husband in the middle of the night and he wouldn't like it some man was calling me in the middle of the night. He just stared at me like I'm the one in the wrong here. Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate? I'm asking because I'm currently having health issues and I'm in a lot of pain so maybe I'm just over sensitive.


No, you are not being over sensitive. It is VERY inappropriate. You are right, your husband would not like it if the script was flipped.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Gitana48 said:


> My relationship with my DH has suffered from prior acts of him being unfaithful.. *We are trying to save our marriage*. We have had many disagreements about this lady when he was still working with her. She would call and text at inappropriate times but they were working together then. She would call him to help with everything from her car to getting directions, just a wide range of reasons she NEEDED to talk to my husband. It was aggravating then and now she text and called last night to ask him question about something she could have easily accessed through Google. I voiced my concern to my DH and he starts yelling at me and says that I'm being crazy. I told him that she wouldn't be ok with me calling her husband in the middle of the night and he wouldn't like it some man was calling me in the middle of the night. He just stared at me like I'm the one in the wrong here. Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate? I'm asking because I'm currently having health issues and I'm in a lot of pain so maybe I'm just over sensitive.


There is no "we" in the trying to save your marriage, only you. He obviously is not part of that "we." If he was, he'd respect your concerns here,_ especially given a past history of infidelity. _

You are not being overly sensitive. You'd be a fool to not take this exactly the way you're taking it. You have every right to demand a full-stop no contact here and accept nothing less.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Arrange for one of your male coworker to call at 10 in the night and see what you husband says then. What's good for the goose should be good for you too.

He is being an insensitive jackass. You are the only one fighting for this marriage. Ask yourself why?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Gitana48 said:


> My relationship with my DH has suffered from prior acts of him being unfaithful.. We are trying to save our marriage.


_*Noooo*_...sadly,* you're *trying to save the marriage. He's continually engaged in shady behavior and cheating and deceit and manipulation and has continually disrespected you over and over. Why you continue to stay is a mystery for the ages, I guess. 

Whenever you catch him - yet *again* - cheating, he begs you to_ 'work on the marriage' _because he doesn't want to be thrown out the front door where he *belongs*. The only one working to 'save' your marriage is YOU.



> We have had many disagreements about this lady when he was still working with her. She would call and text at inappropriate times but they were working together then. She would call him to help with everything from her car to getting directions, just a wide range of reasons she NEEDED to talk to my husband. It was aggravating then and now she text and called last night to ask him question about something she could have easily accessed through Google. I voiced my concern to my DH and he starts yelling at me and says that I'm being crazy. I told him that she wouldn't be ok with me calling her husband in the middle of the night and he wouldn't like it some man was calling me in the middle of the night. He just stared at me like I'm the one in the wrong here. Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate? I'm asking because I'm currently having health issues and I'm in a lot of pain so maybe I'm just over sensitive.


What a prince. THIS is the oh so remorseful serial cheater who begged you to 'work on the marriage?'

You've chosen to stay with a serial cheater. This crap is *always* going to happen.

_*Always.*_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

The next time she calls, grab the phone and ask to speak with her husband.

You know... because there’s something you just HAVE to tell him.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Brooklynann and Gus have the answer to this. I also agree with a coworker of yours calling you. If you don't work, then just begin to call OW husband at odd hours. Also, tell your husband to shut his pie hole since he has been unfaithful. If he doesn't like how you protect the marriage, ask if he likes to look at the outside portion of your front door.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Set your boundaries and get angry when they are crossed. Do what works for you both.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Tell your serial cheating husband that he needs to set boundaries with his mistress. She should know better than to contact him when he's at home.


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## Gitana48 (Oct 20, 2017)

DH text me saying. ?I took care of it, she apologized? 
I didn?t reply because I know this is insincere. He doesn?t say anything else to me all day, knowing that I?m sick. He usually checks on me so clearly he?s upset with me because I had the nerve to speak up. Im home and sleeping in the guest room. We are not speaking. He gets a call and of course I can only hear his end of the conversation. He tells the person ?oh it?s alright? in a consoling tone and tells the person to be careful driving and hangs up. It?s unbelievable! I?m very hurt and confused


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Get back you health and move on with your life. 

He is not trying to fix the marriage you want to keep.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Your husbands a jerk. Of course you have every right to be upset with this. If you were not upset by this there would be something seriously wrong with you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

An annoying opposite sex co-worker who phones at inappropriate times is a nuisance.

However! Your husband's serial infidelities has upped this to a crisis.

It needs to stop. Now.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Gitana48 said:


> My relationship with my DH has suffered from prior acts of him being unfaithful.. We are trying to save our marriage. We have had many disagreements about this lady when he was still working with her. She would call and text at inappropriate times but they were working together then. She would call him to help with everything from her car to getting directions, just a wide range of reasons she NEEDED to talk to my husband. It was aggravating then and now she text and called last night to ask him question about something she could have easily accessed through Google. I voiced my concern to my DH and he starts yelling at me and says that *I'm being crazy*.


Google gaslighting.



> I told him that she wouldn't be ok with me calling her husband in the middle of the night and he wouldn't like it some man was calling me in the middle of the night. He just stared at me *like I'm the one in the wrong here*. Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate? I'm asking because I'm currently having health issues and I'm in a lot of pain so maybe I'm just over sensitive.


 Google gaslighting again. Good luck!


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## KaggyBear (Jan 16, 2017)

tell her to back the hell off


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## KaggyBear (Jan 16, 2017)

actually yuck, kick your husband to the curb and start fresh. he's level 5 gaslighter and he's certainly cheating


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Not only is he a cheater but he is a complete moron. Not only that but he thinks you are even dumber than he is. Which is saying a lot because he is clearly a level 100 mouth breathing moron of epic proportions. He's taking calls at all hours and is stupid enough to think this won't upset you. And when it does is stupid enough to try and lie his way out of it. But he hasn't told his side piece to back off calling him at all hours because it looks suspicious. He is so freakin beyond stupid I don't know how you can deal with it! 

Why are you dealing with this? What in the name of all things holy can you possibly see in someone who is one of the biggest idiots I've ever heard stories about on this website or any other one? How does one allow themselves to get tangled up with such a freaking dope? Maybe a bait and switch, but even then, why are you still with him?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Gitana48 said:


> Am I over reacting or is this inappropriate?


If he had no history of cheating, it would be inappropriate. Since he does, it should be *unacceptable*. In fact, you are under reacting.


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