# What the f*** !!!!!!!!!



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

After I've found the paper to sign on the counter I messaged him:
Am I signing a divorce with this? 
As is with all the other papers that are a part of it and the seminar that you attended.
So yes? You know one doesn't have to go through with a divorce just because the process has been started.
I already know that. And just because the papers are signed doesn't mean they will be turned in and it also doesn't mean that the judge will accept it.
I have no choice! I know I can't prove to you that the changes I'm making are permanent in just 2 months. That's why I was hoping for more time!
But we have already discussed this numerous times. Either you sign it as you said, or you don't. Pretty simple.

What is this BS about "Just because the papers are signed doesn't mean they will be turned in......" 

He tells me it's official there will be no second chance and then he throws me a "maybe" yet again and thinks he can calm me down with it ?!?!?! WTF ?????????????


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

He's doing this, he's doing that...what I haven't read is are you seeing your own lawyer??? Maybe you are and I have missed it, but if you aren't, it is time to do that before you sign anything else...

I know you desparately want to save the marriage, but you need to protect yourself too...I wouldn't even talk to him, message him, until you have talked to a lawyer...please, please, please protect yourself...your are vulnerable because you want him back so much, I'd hate for him to take advantage of that...

I admire your desire to make things right, most guys would be lucky to have what you want to give...take care of yourself!!!!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

DjF said:


> He's doing this, he's doing that...what I haven't read is are you seeing your own lawyer??? Maybe you are and I have missed it, but if you aren't, it is time to do that before you sign anything else...
> 
> I know you desparately want to save the marriage, but you need to protect yourself too...I wouldn't even talk to him, message him, until you have talked to a lawyer...please, please, please protect yourself...your are vulnerable because you want him back so much, I'd hate for him to take advantage of that...
> 
> I admire your desire to make things right, most guys would be lucky to have what you want to give...take care of yourself!!!!


The divorce decree has been put together already and I'm being treated fair.....I could say I agree to the conditions but I do not agree to the divorce itself....meaning, if everything fails I will be well taken care of after a divorce, but that is not my issue.....  ..... I'm devastated !!!!!


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I'm sorry then, I wish I had more to give ya...

We haven't gotten that far in our separation, but I know I feel like I have so much more to offer to make things right, to make things better...but so empty because I haven't been given the chance...emptiness usually wins the battle...

It seems to me that you have a big heart, heal it, heal yourself...give God a chance to make things right...


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

DjF said:


> I'm sorry then, I wish I had more to give ya...
> 
> We haven't gotten that far in our separation, but I know I feel like I have so much more to offer to make things right, to make things better...but so empty because I haven't been given the chance...emptiness usually wins the battle...
> 
> It seems to me that you have a big heart, heal it, heal yourself...give God a chance to make things right...


Sorry, but God wasn't doing a very good job at keeping marriage together.....how can he make things right ????

When I'm finally the woman I always wanted to be and should have been my husband and I would be the perfect fit.....we have been in the beginning of our marriage, but then I lost my path and sent him off of his through it.....


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> my h and i were just talking about seperation, and how the party wants it, tells the other party about it and they beg and plead not to do it, i can change, and you think its all good, but in reality its not.
> 
> you will wear your self out it show how much you have changed, but it wont fix anything.
> 
> ...


I agree.....he should be honest about where we stand and not throw me a bone once in a while if he doesn't mean to give me a chance.....

The past few weeks were awesome though (he put his anger and resentment aside he said)....there was no fighting and no bickering.....there was no need for it, because the issues that caused it are fading (things I'm working on)......

So I strongly believe that if he would give me another chance he we would have a great chance of survival.....

But he's in the middle of a midlife crisis....he's become depressed and he thinks in his clouded mind he's doing the right thing for himself....

He's forgetting though.....he's never been very good in finding women (I found him).....he's going to find a woman who tolerates his hair on his back, his crooked toes :rofl:, his moods....he will hardly find a woman that is as little demanding as I am....I didn't even ask for a wedding ring all those years....could've been one from the gumball machine for all I care.....


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

*Dale&Alex*--From what you've told us about your husband so far, I think you're better off without him.

He's being a weasel. You know damned well that he's going to file those papers once you sign. And the judge will accept them. 

If I were you, I'd sign the papers. It's really best for everyone concerned at this point. 

Look--why would you want to be with someone who's told you he doesn't want to be with you? Why should you put up with constantly, as another poster put it, "auditioning to stay married"? Why would you want to stay with someone who jerks you around?

I know you love him, but, really--who is this person you love? Is it the guy you originally married, or the one who wants to leave and is jerking you around now?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

After reading your other thread, http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...-can-i-make-him-tell-me-truth.html#post219426, it's rather obvious your husband is having an affair. Therefore, this absurd communication you and your husband had really should be no surprise. Your husband is in "the fog" right now. I know some on this forum don't believe "the fog" exists, but I very sure it does. I've had to deal with all of this too. It was so bad at times I questioned my sanity. 

There's really no point in trying to figure out your husband's comments. They make no sense because your husband's mind is in an "altered" state. Would you try to make sense of a drunk's rambling statements or a drug addict's comments? Probably not. Your husband is high on infatuation now. That's how I finally learned to look past some of my estranged husband's crazy comments and behavior. I couldn't understand why he said some of the things he did or did some of the things he did because I wasn't "there".

Things will probably be easier for you if you stop trying to communicate with him. That's what finally worked or me. Then I wasn't wasting my time trying to analyze the absurdity.


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