# Still here...



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Been a bit of a recluse lately...spending more time with my boys, doing some fishing...just being selfish...took a bit of a fall into the beer too...but I am back on track...

things were going good between the wife and I, she was spending more and more time over here, then just stopped....said things were moving too fast for her, she needed a break...work was also being particularly stressful too...I was pissed that everything has to be on her terms, no matter how hard I work to make things right, everything is dependent on how she wants things to proceed...so I spent a weekend with my friend Bud, and we had a great time...and now he has left me too...no regrets...just needed to cut loose for a weekend so I did!

Things seem to be on track with the Wife and me again, spending Sunday mornings at church together, praying together...talking almost everyday, she has spent the last 3 of 4 nights here with me and the 16 year old...still hasn't committed to start MC yet...but hopefully soon...


One hurdle is that she wants me to start AA counseling and I won't do that just yet...controlling (well for the last 6 months minus one weekend) my alcoholism on my own has been the one thing throughout this ordeal that I have managed on my own, withut her demanding a timeline...or her timeline...it's the one thing I have had success with on my own and I want, need that control right now...I need to say I can do it on my own...

Stubborn yes, nieve, certainly that I can do this...maybe...but I am holding out and holding my own...

okay, let's here it...tell me what you think?!


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

I don't think you were being selfish...I think you were just trying to live your life....which is exactly what you should be doing. As for the drinking....kudos to you for acknowleding that you drank too much....don't dwell on it.....focus on today my friend!!! ( Just don't do it again : ) In regards to AA counseling and your wife...I wouldn't take it as her trying to be in control of you....it just may be something that she needs from you....to see that you have changed.....don't be stubborn....that is not a positive personality trait....wishing you the best!!!!


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Thanks Denise...I know I'm tending to be an azz on some of this...but I'm probably being that way to get back at her a bit...


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

ok you have controlled it on your own you have proven that. Would going to an AA meeting once a week or bi-weekly (whatever ona regular schedule) mean you weren'tstill controlling it on your own. Its not like you are out of control now. It can't hurt you in controlling it and it sounds like one of the steps she is looking for. So I say go. Go regularly. Carry the silly little chip. Put it on your keyring or cell phone. Show her you are going and that you aren't going to hide you are going.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

Alcohol makes you unavailable to your wife because it changes the way you think. Drinking is a problem in your marriage because it is a problem for her. It you want things to get better with your wife, do what it take to make your drinking problem a thing of the past. If that includes going to AA, then do it.

You will be a better man without it. Your wife will see it and she will like this version of the man she wants. Move past this point and there will be better days ahead for you and all in your life. Good luck my friend.


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## Wrench (Mar 21, 2011)

I hear ya on the "on her terms" part of it, I'm getting a similar thing. 

I've found that without my beloved brew I stay on track with the 180 and more open minded, if I could just have a couple it might be different. When I get stressed I go for a walk/run, it actually works (and my "bud-belly" is shrinking fast)


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