# He's a shopaholic



## thefunone (Feb 6, 2011)

My husband purchases big ticket items more frequent than most. The kind of items that require my signature. In 8 months, we have purchased an expensive harley, a king ranch diesel truck, and now we are buying a fishing boat. We have only been married for about 5 years and he has purchased and sold 7 cars and trucks. When ever we get ready to sign the deal we go in with a plan and it changes. Its usually more money down or higher payments. He negotiates a little but the end results tends to be not what we had originally agreed to. I get upset and get an attitude and he starts flying off the handle. In the end, the new deal is taken. He leaves with his new toy. I leave with an attitude. We are both sick of this episode. Am I overreacting? Is this a normal guy thing? Any suggestions?


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

thefunone said:


> My husband purchases big ticket items more frequent than most. The kind of items that require my signature. In 8 months, we have purchased an expensive harley, a king ranch diesel truck, and now we are buying a fishing boat. We have only been married for about 5 years and he has purchased and sold 7 cars and trucks. When ever we get ready to sign the deal we go in with a plan and it changes. Its usually more money down or higher payments. He negotiates a little but the end results tends to be not what we had originally agreed to. I get upset and get an attitude and he starts flying off the handle. In the end, the new deal is taken. He leaves with his new toy. I leave with an attitude. We are both sick of this episode. Am I overreacting? Is this a normal guy thing? Any suggestions?


If my H had a brother, I'd say you are married to him. Mine even is to the point that he wants to trade my van in on something else because he can't spend any more on himself without being ridiculous! After the last episode with the new SUV, we've split finances. If he wants to finance something, he's on his own. I charge him a base amount a month for savings and bills and the rest he's on his own. He'd 'deal' us to the poor house if I let him continue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

Not a normal guy thing. Can you have any discussions about what he gets from this shopping? What need is he fulfilling? You need some long discussions on what is he getting from this and some frankness about how you can't possibley afford this for long.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

No, this is not normal behavior. I would have to say he is OCD and would probably benefit from therapy. He is actually getting his "high" off the shiny new stuff. Once the "new" is gone, he's on to something else shiny and new. I endured the same thing (only much worse) for more than twenty years.

You definitely need to get the problem under control. You might want to begin by making a budget together and learn to save money. That's what I had to do with my estranged husband in the early days. We would agree on the new "toy". Then we would save money from his pay check each week. Once he had enough money saved to buy the item, he purchased it. That was a peaceful compromise until he had the mid-life crisis from h*ll. After that it became a great big shopping spree. All money went for a good time and no bills were paid. If your husband won't agree to a budget, it's probably time for you to separate your finances.

Hope he will acknowledge his problem and begin working on a solution. The world of bankruptcy is not a pleasant place to be.


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## thefunone (Feb 6, 2011)

I was thinking OCD too. He will definitely not admit to it. He says he wants to get everything now so that when he is older he is not financing a lot of stuff. He wants to have things paid off by the time we are older and retired. But I don't think that is true. He is constantly shopping for that next item. This is not just someone preparing for the future. Preparing for your future would be more along the lines of saving money not spending it. I think I am going to have to do the split finance suggestion. He will take offense to it but he will get over it. Thanks!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Seems more common than you would think, based upon people I've known in the past. It does seem almost like a high, like a drug. If he can agree to live on a budget, and then start putting together a long term plan that really gives him something to get excited about, it is possible, I think. Somehow, he's got to see some benefit that overcomes the high. Personally, I've found that as I stick to my savings plan, and then pass milestones in my index mutual funds and retirement, I get really excited about the security of the future. Then came the downturn, where my retirement accound lost a little over a million. I turned it around and dug deeper to make up the difference. A close friend, who had a similar problem, only stopped with near bankrupcy, but his sister, another friend of mine and an executive, bailed him out with the condition that he sit down with her monthly on a budget review for over a year. A couple of years later, he's still driving the civic she bought him.


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