# To hell with someone that can't read



## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Tonight I am sitting in my living room crying . I Put on my dating site that I smoked some times. I kept from smoking around some one I was interested in for the last two months. I had two puffs of a cig tonight in front of him, he got up and walked out on me. Why when they know up front do they walk away. I am torn in so many direction. I want to just die and crawl under a rock.


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## Morgiana (Oct 18, 2011)

Hun, stop and breathe.

The fact that you are reacting this bad sounds to me like its something else that is really bothering you. Take the time to cry it out now and reevaluate the situation tomorrow. You'll get through this!

-M


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Maybe he had liked you enough that he thought it wouldnt bother him but then realized that it did. You may want to consider quitting, smoking is a big no for a lot of people, I know its a deal breaker for me, personally.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Smoking in front of a non-smoker, particularly when you do it without asking if they mind, is the epitome of rudeness and selfishness.

I'm not surprised he walked out. I am surprised, though, that you are blaming him! Typical addiction-talk

I suggest you start looking to date smokers.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why did you hide it around him for a time? He may have thought you didn't smoke at all being that you never did in front of him.

Some folks think smoking is awful and won't date a smoker. Dealbreakers and all that. 

Carry on.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If you're going to be dating, one of the first things you need to realize is that you can't be everyone's cup of tea. And at least you found out early with this guy that he's an insensitive ass-hat.

Did you two talk about your smoking in the past two months? Did you ask him if he minded if you lit a cigarette? I was seeing one woman who was a smoker (I am not). Even in her own home, she asked if I was ok with her lighting up, which I appreciated. I told her it was fine, but even then I think she greatly reduced her smoking around me. In the end though, it was a significant part of why I didn't think we were a match. 

And yes, he shouldn't have started dating you if he couldn't tolerate smoking. He is an idiot. And he's an ass-hat for walking out on you. 

C


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

People don't read dating profiles, period. I say directly that I do not want kids and if someone wants kids in the future to move on as I DO NOT WANT KIDS and there are still guys that message me that want kids. 

I also smoke (on my profile) but I'm sure that is overlooked too. So on any first date I will make it known I am a smoker and don't plan to quit soon. I know its a deal breaker for alot of non smokers (it was for me when I didn't smoke) just gotta accept it. 

If thats who you are, and someone can't accept it, its better to move on anyways.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

How exactly did it happen? Did you ask him if it would bother him if you smoked before you lit the cigarette?

I am a non-smoker and thought smoking was a dealbreaker for me; yet I have been in a 4 yr relationship with a smoker. He was very polite about it, never smoked in my presence, never smoked in his own home (just outdoors) so that the house wouldn't smell, etc. That was what made it okay for me. Though ultimately he is not the man I married. (I married a non-smoker.)

If a friend (much less someone I were dating) lit a cigarette in front of me in an indoor space without asking if it were okay first, I'd be pretty shocked. I think anymore that's just not done... of course it may depend on where you live, but I live in a country where people smoke a lot and you still don't just take out a cigarette and light it in mixed (smoking and non-) company. It could just have been the rudeness factor that made him walk out like that. Not that walking out isn't also really rude.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I did not hide my smoking from him. I was respectful not to smoke around him except two puffs last night. Ass hat is right, it's hell to be perfect.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl::rofl:
> 
> I have a great article for you, Vi:
> 
> http://www.xojane.com/family/how-no...ail&utm_term=0_ff762b8521-8f8d4c2234-78247121


LOVE THIS!!!

I'm going to post in the "other" thread


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If he did read your profile and noticed the smoking, but had never seen you smoke in two months, he may have forgotten or assumed you'd stopped completely. While it was very rude of him to just walk out, it was rude of you not to ask if he'd mind if you smoked. You're both at fault, IMO.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl::rofl:
> 
> I have a great article for you, Vi:
> 
> http://www.xojane.com/family/how-no...ail&utm_term=0_ff762b8521-8f8d4c2234-78247121


Because the forum's auto-censoring is goofing up the link...

How Not To Be A **** To Your Childfree Friends | xoJane


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