# He left..mad at first..now I'm happy as a lark!



## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

Hello everyone! I'm new here. I've been reading other peoples stories and I thought I would join!!

Quick synopsis...My husband and I have been together almost 10 years, married almost 2 years. We planned to have a baby in September last year. I found out I was pregnant in December and then he decided he wasn't happy and a month later he moved out. He wouldn't talk to me about anything and still won't. He blames EVERYTHING on me and he also thinks he better than me. He has even went so far as to tell my mother how much of a loser I am too. I can't do anythign right in his eyes...from cooking, cleaning, interacting with his family and he even criticizes my mothering skills. Of course he's no angel himself and I can honestly say he wasn't the greatest husband but I wasn't ready to give up at the time. 

I tried to wait it out and give him a chance to clear his mind but appearently his mind is made up!! I got fed up and filed for divorce in early May. I started to regret my decision and asked him if he really wanted this divorce and his ersponse was "As much as this pains me to say this, yes." So I said ok and let it go. 

We hadn't seen each other for about a month and then out of the blue he asked if he could come by...I think he wanted to get laid but I don't know. I'm going to be very honest, I still think we can work out our issues but I'm pretty tired of the immature way he has handled this whole situation.

Why would he want to spend any time with me after he has made it clear he wants a divorce? He can be confusing at times. We do have a child together and I have a child from a previous relationship that he has been a "father" to and I'm now 7 months pregnant. Is he missing me or just bored and lonely??


----------



## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

It could be all of those things.
You can't be with someone for 10 years and not have feelings or miss that person. I'm sure he still loves you very much.

Have you been working on yourself at all since he has left?

It's very hard to live with someone who constantly criticizes you and tries to belittle you, my only suggestion is if he does decide he wants to work it out insist on counseling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

I have found out so much about myself these past 6 months! I have moved to the point of acceptance and I'm no longer "waiting" for him to come home. I've let it go, the anger, bitterness, resentment, blame and the loneliness has passed (for the most part.) I'm just waiting for my little girl to be born. I don't mean to sound cold but her life is waaaaayyyyy more important than his wanting to be with me at this point!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

That doesn't sound cold at all.
I didn't realize you were still pregnant?
Seriously? What "man" leaves his pregnant wife?

Good for you for being strong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

Yes, I am pregnant with a baby that we PLANNED to have! I wondered why he choose to leave when he did too, then I decided to stop beating my head against the wall (figuratively speaking.) 

He's a problem wrapped in an enigma, topped off with a dollop of a conundrum, chased by a swig of cowardice...not trying to belittle him but I definitely call them how I see them.


----------



## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Honestly I don't blame you. That would be something I'm not sure if I could get over.

Is he planning on being there for her birth?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

What he plans to do is just that, what he plans to do. I have to have a c-section and I want this to be a joyous time (like it was originally planned.) I feel after going through this pregnancy alone that I deserve to at least have someone in the delivery room who is there for me and my baby not just for themself to flex their "rights". He's welcome in my hospital room after but no sooner.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'm deeply and truly sorry, on behalf of all men, you managed to find the biggest loser in the history of people. I really just want to alley whip people like that. It makes me hate being a human being of the same species.


----------



## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

Thank you Runs! I think he's an ok guy, he just thinks he right about everything and its hard to be right all the time and be married. The two don't mix. He's still very attached to his mother and I hate to say it, I think its stunted his emotional growth. He never had to "try", he could just "be" and it was ok.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

