# Nagging wife???



## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

When things need to get done around the house that my husband can do... I usually have to tell him a few times and even then it doesn't get done. But if I don't remind him, it's my fault for not letting him know. 
Can anyone explain why some men are this way please, because I'm tired of damned if I do, or damned if I don't!!!


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

Men and women's brains are wired differently so we process things differently.....we see/hear different meanings and importance in words. 

I have learned that when asking a man to do something, my instruction needs to be direct and it also needs to include a timeline.

So instead of saying.....

"Honey, can you fix the leaky tap in the bathroom please?"....

I say....

"Honey, the tap in the bathroom is leaking, would you please fix it sometime today/ after you have finished doing what you are doing/ before you go out?" 

That gives him a clear picture of what needs doing and when....it also gives him the opportunity to say no (if he can't fit it in) and opens up discussion of when he will do it. Deal sealed.

I never ask a second time, ever - if my man doesn't do what he said he will do, when he said he will do it, then I will either do it myself if I can or pay someone to do it. I don't get cranky or complain....I just get on with it. 

There have only been two times that I actually had to do something myself after asking for the man's assistance - that was back in the early days when we were still learning how things worked with eachother. 

He said that eventhough I didn't get cranky or do anything to make him feel bad....he felt guilty for not holding up his end of the deal.

So maybe something like that would work for you too.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

surfergirl said:


> Men and women's brains are wired differently so we process things differently.....we see/hear different meanings and importance in words.
> 
> I have learned that when asking a man to do something, my instruction needs to be direct and it also needs to include a timeline.
> 
> ...


excellent advice


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Men are different - period.

I have the same issue.

I quit repeating myself and began writing it down.

And when he got to it, he got to it.

I decided a long time ago that he's not me. He procrastinates - I don't. It's just who he is.

If I really want something done and don't want to wait for him to get to it - then I either do it myself or hire someone.

Keeps me calm and him too.

Was an easy solution for me - might not be for others.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I do like surfergirl. I ask nicely once and state the deadline. If he doesn't do it by then either I do it (without complaining and with a smile on my face) or I pay someone else to do it. I never ever ask twice, write it down or remind him. I'm not his mom. Usually when he sees that I've taken care of it he feels guilty and then the next time is either more respectful of my requests or is honest about the time he has available.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Express a goal not a direction.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

I don't know about your husband but I can tell you how mine operated when it came to me asking him to do something.

I could ask something simple of him or something a little more major. I could say it in a nice tone, or not so nice. (the not so nice tone usually comes after you have said something nice several times, then frustration sets in.) I also did NOT expect him to jump right up and do something right then so he did actually have plenty of time and notice. 

The reason MY husband didn't do some of the stuff I had asked was, it had nothing to do with my tone, how nice I was or not nice etc, it had to do with the fact he had everything done for him growing up. He figured if it was something he didn't want to do, then he wasn't going to do it. He also knew if he went long enough without doing it, I would do it myself eventually. That taught him nothing, except to keep getting his way and to get out of what he was asked to do.

I took a step back and if I asked him to do something, simple or not, if he didn't do it, then I didn't either and it could just sit there for all I cared. He eventually got the message that I wasn't going to keep doing for him just because he didn't want to. he had to learn he had other responsibilities in life not just working and sitting on the couch while his mother/maid did it all. 

I'm not saying your husband is this way, or that is what the issue with him is, just saying its what went on with mine.


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## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

Excellent advice everyone, thank you so much! This one particualar thing that I am talking about is the outside water faucet. He broke it probably about 1 1/2 years ago and since then I've been asking. At this point it's pretty much my fault for just not calling a plumber and having them come out. But every time I say I'm calling a plumber he says "no no I"ll fix it" 
He's has gotten alot better at some things, but I just wish that he knew that I don't like having to remind him over and over. He asks me to do something and I do it. Maybe I should start procrastinating, hmmmm! 
Anyways I'm calling a plumber on Monday and I'm not telling him that I am... thanks again everyone!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Call a plumber and tell your husband that said plumber will arrive at 5:00 pm and charges $150 an hour. You can bet your butt that that faucet will be fixed, by him, your husband.


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## FaithHopeLove (Apr 21, 2011)

My FH and I live together. He also can take his sweet time when it comes to cleaning up--- he doesn't like that he does it but he doesn't know how to improve upon it. So we came up with this solution:

I write a list of 3 to 4 chores he can do well (we have already figured out what I do better and what he does better) and tell him they need to be done by a certain time (usually its before he leaves for work or before I get home from something). That gives him a few hours to mess around with stuff and finally get it done.

However, we ONLY follow this system if and when he sees me helping around the house too. Since I work full-time during the week as a teacher, I honestly can not get much done. Saturday and Sunday though I work hard at cleaning. 

Also, something else I've found useful: if there's a chore my guy really sucks at, I'll ask him come help me with it. We'll do it together a few times and he'll get the hang of it (whether he realizes this or not I'm not sure). It can then become a chore he can do well and is allowed to be added to the list.


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## FaithHopeLove (Apr 21, 2011)

AFW8 said:


> Excellent advice everyone, thank you so much! This one particualar thing that I am talking about is the outside water faucet. He broke it probably about 1 1/2 years ago and since then I've been asking. At this point it's pretty much my fault for just not calling a plumber and having them come out. But every time I say I'm calling a plumber he says "no no I"ll fix it"


This type of deal has happened to me. What I do is that I start researching it and showing my FH how easy it is to fix. I then go ahead and try to start fixing it myself and he gets annoyed that I'm doing it and wants to help take over. 

Also, I think its important for women to learn how to fix things around the house. While I'm a traditional kind of gal, I don't think that there's anything wrong with teaching ourselves how to do plumbing, electrical, gardening/lawn care, landscaping, etc to keep the house going. A guyfriend of mine showed me how to fix sinks once while he was fixing up his family's old house and I was surprised at how easy it was!


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

Men tend to have a higher mess tolerance than women, so it could be that they simply forget/don't notice when things need to get done...as in the trash piles up for a week before he notices, while you notice after a day.

I usually don't ask my SO more than once. part of this is because I'm super messy myself; part of it is because he will notice and take care of it on his own time. I feel much warmer towards him when I know he can do things on his own without my asking. Sometimes it's tough to bite my tongue and avoid nagging, but it pays off.

(It also helps that we're students and don't have as much that needs to get done).


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Im a guy and ill give you my perspective..

My Wife used to nag a lot.. And it was stuff that I could do, but she could have done it herself if she wanted..

Like taking out the trash, if you want the trash taken out then do it yourself.. If you ask me to do it, ill get to it when I get to it..

This obviously didn't go over very well for me.. So I started nagging at her to do things like taking out the trash.. She got the point..

If you see that something needs to get done, just do it yourself.. All the years my Wife nagged at me, I never asked her to do things for me.. I just did them when I saw it needed to be done..


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's not about getting the 'thing' done. It's about scolding and clucking at her 'staff' to do it. It rarely matters what if anything gets done in the bigger picture as long as She Who Is In Charge gets to push everyone around. Of course that one thing, that one tiny thing absotively WILL get completed at that precise instant just the way She demands it be done. But longer term or larger issues - they just don't matter. She'll change her mind 40 dozen times by then anyway. 

I was once called in from outside to 'jiggle' the toilet handle because it was running. She was standing in front of it grousing that some evil monster bent on ruining her day obviously screwed up.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I have found most people find it "nagging" when they had been asked to do something over and over again and it doesn't ever get done. 

I don't think some of these women are asking for their men to jump and then they should say how high as in get it done right this minute, but if it goes undone for a period of time, I can understand why at that point frustration would set in.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I asked my wife this very question. Her response, hand to god, was "I like nagging. I like myself more that way."


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

I know exactly what you are talking about..

I work in IT and a lot of time I have to work in the evening.. Its no big deal though, I can sit on my laptop and work on the couch while she is watching a show or whatever..

So ill be sitting there actively working, and she will say "Honey can you get me a drink".. Yeah im going to stop working to get a drink for you while you sit on your butt watching a TV show.. But the weak man I was, I got her the drink.. I put an end to that..

Now I say sure, ill get you a drink.. And ill hand her the laptop and say get to work.. LOL.. she gets her own drink now..


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Tool said:


> I know exactly what you are talking about..
> 
> I work in IT and a lot of time I have to work in the evening.. Its no big deal though, I can sit on my laptop and work on the couch while she is watching a show or whatever..
> 
> ...


If you ask her to do something for you does she do it?


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Jamison said:


> I have found most people find it "nagging" when they had been asked to do something over and over again and it doesn't ever get done.
> 
> I don't think some of these women are asking for their men to jump and then they should say how high as in get it done right this minute, but if it goes undone for a period of time, I can understand why at that point frustration would set in.


If you have to ask more than once, do it yourself.. It is that simple and it will stop fights from happening..


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Jamison said:


> If you ask her to do something for you does she do it?


LOL.. no..


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Tool said:


> Im a guy and ill give you my perspective..
> 
> My Wife used to nag a lot.. And it was stuff that I could do, but she could have done it herself if she wanted..
> 
> ...


OMG, this reminds me of this weekend with my husband. I didn't ask him to take the trash out. He told me he was going to do it without my asking. Well, he forgot. The children and I came home and the smell of garbage was like a smack in the face. My 5 year old son said, "Mom, it tastes bad in here."

So I took the garbage out myself. The old nagging me would have complained the second my husband got home. The NEW me didn't say anything. I didn't even think he would notice, but later the next day he said "Where are the bags?" I said, "What bags?" I honestly didn't know what he was talking about! 

Then he said, "The trash." 
"Oh. I already took it out." I said. 
"You took WHAT out? The trash!?!" He was surprised.
Then I said, "Yeah." like it was no big deal. 

LOL! You should have seen the look on his face! It was priceless!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't understand this 'twice' thing. My experience is ceaseless yapping and clicking and grumbling without stop until I do it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't understand this 'twice' thing. My experience is ceaseless yapping and clicking and grumbling without stop until I do it. 

Tool I work from home too. My family doesn't understand what 'working' is when I am home. To their mind I am slacking off and waiting for them to ask me to do something for them.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Tool said:


> If you have to ask more than once, do it yourself.. It is that simple and it will stop fights from happening..


What if it's something you can't do yourself? The only other way it can get done is if you hire someone to do it, but a lot of people don't have the money right now.

Or, if it's something the person said they would do? Like, you didn't even ask, they volunteered? What kind of standard is it in a marriage when you can't expect a person to keep their word? 

Most of the time, we can just do the thing ourselves but that would open many doors to resentment for a lot of women who feel like they are doing more than their share and their simple requests are ignored.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

What if it's something that doesn't require Martial Law? What if the world won't actually come to an end if I don't get the car inspected 87 days before it's due?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Runs like Dog said:


> What if it's something that doesn't require Martial Law? What if the world won't actually come to an end if I don't get the car inspected 87 days before it's due?


A lot of wives nag because they are controlling and want things done in exactly a certain way. 

I don't think, "Would you please take the trash out?" is such a request. I mean if the trash is full and stinking, why can't you help a sista out? 

And if you don't want to do it, just say no or "I'm not going to do it right now, but I'll do it sometime tomorrow." It seems mean to tell someone you are going to do something and then put it off indefinitely.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Tool said:


> If you have to ask more than once, do it yourself.. It is that simple and it will stop fights from happening..


Thats where I differ on that. Women who feel they have to ask more than once are not being heard, no matter how she says it or the tone she uses. 

Also if a woman eventually does it because her man wont or doesn't want to, then she is teaching him nothing, and reinforces the fact he can do or or not do whatever. He basically get away with being able to not do anything she has asked.


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Why ask him in the first place?? Just do it yourself..

If he won't take out the trash on his own, that is a different issue then needs to be addressed without nagging..

Same goes for things that would be a man job and he knows that it needs to be done.. Don't nag..

communicate the issue with him..


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

themrs said:


> A lot of wives nag because they are controlling and want things done in exactly a certain way.


And this is true for some. 

However, there are some women too, who happen to be involved with men who want a caretaker, AKA a mother figure, one who wont do whatever, because they are lazy. They know how to NOT do something a woman has asked because they know their woman will do it for them. To me thats when a woman is allowing herself to be used.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Tool said:


> LOL.. no..


Ahhh I get it now.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I'm not married but was involved with a man once who did this very thing.

And yes, he was one of these that wanted things done for him, but didn't care how you felt or what you said about anything. He was all about himself. 

I could ask him to do whatever, he wouldn't. It would never get done. Once I had to take some things to my car for the donations center, the bags were very heavy, not something I could lift especially due to my back issues. I asked him in a nice way if he would. He did say sure. 

A week passed, they still sat there. When I asked why he hadn't put them in the car, he got pissed and said he would. Are ya serious? :scratchhead: You're gonna get mad at me when I asked you once and a week later it still wasn't done? 

Needless to say I learned real quick how he operated. So the next time he wanted sex, I acted just like he did. I did it when I wanted to, which translated into not doing it all. Do not think for one minute you can treat me like that after I ask you do something simple and then expect me to do whatever for you. Doesn't work that way.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i am actually using the honey do list as a weapon to get more sex


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> Needless to say I learned real quick how he operated. So the next time he wanted sex, I acted just like he did. I did it when I wanted to, which translated into not doing it all.



Now that is messed up on so many levels..


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Tool said:


> Now that is messed up on so many levels..


Yes it was, him not taking bags to my car, (very simple task) was just messed up. 

I guess he found that difficult to do, so I did too.


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

So instead of opening up communication with him and working on the issue.. you went to his level..

Not cool at all..

I imagine with relationship didn't make it.. I see why..


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Tool said:


> So instead of opening up communication with him and working on the issue.. you went to his level..
> 
> Not cool at all..
> 
> I imagine with relationship didn't make it.. I see why..


NO, this was something that had been going on for awhile. This wasn't a one time thing where he didn't do something I had asked. I stated in my opening post how he was. 

I had tried to communicate to him several times over the course of the relationship on how I felt on such things. He didn't get it. Or maybe he did and just didn't care. That would be my guess. 

when I chose not to give him what he wanted that was the only time that happened, because I was tired of it. 

I think my biggest mistake with that relationship was I waited to long to end things.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Tool said:


> So instead of opening up communication with him and working on the issue.. you went to his level..
> 
> Not cool at all..
> 
> I imagine with relationship didn't make it.. I see why..



I'm glad you see why, because,

I ended the relationship. Had I not, I bet the relationship would have continued to go on the way it did, with him expecting me to give him whatever whenever, without him doing anything for me. He was happy to keep getting sex while he did nothing for me, once again doesn't work that way for me, not in my book.


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

At least you see what you did was wrong.. And should have ended it when you stopped the sex..


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Tool said:


> At least you see what you did was wrong.. And should have ended it when you stopped the sex..


Yes me putting up with that behavior from him was wrong, and I'm glad I did end it. 

Had he ended it, he would have done us both a favor too, just as I probably did for us too. Good riddance.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

My husband procrastinates - badly - the things I ask him to do and the things HE wants to do - anything and everything - just the way he is.

I learned long ago to just give it up.

If it's really that important and I can, I do it myself or I call someone in.

Just not worth the aggravation to me otherwise - the more you push - the more they continue to "forget" to get it done - all in the name of seeing who can hold out the longest and who is in control and who isn't.

Just a waste of time.

This is why...after 8 months...I still do not have a working toilet, sink or bathtub in MY bathroom - so I have to use his - and guess I will until he fixes them or one of us dies - whichever comes first.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

sex as a weapon, just as i suspected


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

The last time the toilet broke in the house my Wife fixed it.. She didn't even ask me.. She just went off to lowes, got the parts and spent a couple hours getting it done..

She is a good Wife hehe..


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> My husband procrastinates - badly - the things I ask him to do and the things HE wants to do - anything and everything - just the way he is.
> 
> I learned long ago to just give it up.
> 
> ...


thats just being lazy, i would be frustrated too. wait, i am. i married one of the biggest procrastinators in history. we celebrate kid birthdays several months late, she has piles of things everywhere she just doesnt have time to deal with, we have pictures leaning against wall because she can decide where to hang them, oh, and sex....we seem to put that off too


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

My Wife is a procrastinator too.. And at a time would rather nag at me to get things done instead of doing it herself..

We had issues with sex for a while too.. But instead of whining about it which is just like nagging.. I made an issue out of it, the problem had to be corrected or there would be big trouble..


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

CallaLily said:


> NO, this was something that had been going on for awhile. This wasn't a one time thing where he didn't do something I had asked. I stated in my opening post how he was.
> 
> I had tried to communicate to him several times over the course of the relationship on how I felt on such things. He didn't get it. Or maybe he did and just didn't care. That would be my guess.
> 
> ...


Good for you! Sounds like you know what you are and are not willing to put up with. Never settle for less than you feel you deserve. :smthumbup:


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> thats just being lazy, i would be frustrated too. wait, i am. i married one of the biggest procrastinators in history. we celebrate kid birthdays several months late, she has piles of things everywhere she just doesnt have time to deal with, we have pictures leaning against wall because she can decide where to hang them, oh, and sex....we seem to put that off too


I think it's just being lazy too.

I do plenty of stuff I "don't want" to do, every day.

But to them, they just procrastinate - give them a break - they'll get to it.

Very, very aggravating and frustrating. 

But I threw up my hands a long time ago - I have bigger fish to fry right now and it's just not important anymore.

My husband has 5 trucks/cars in various stages of restoration that he can never seem to complete. They've been in "that state" for about 6+ years. One of the neighbors even took pics and mailed them to our HOA who sent us the pics with a letter - thought we were running a used car lot. 

You know what hubby said - sue me.

They are still in the exact same place they were when they sent the letter 2 years ago.

We have a deal though - he has his man cave, the garage and a storage unit in the backyard. He can do whatever he wishes with any of that space - the rest of it - I keep it organized and clean - you come to my house - you can definitely tell who is in charge of what space - his is cluttered - the rest is not.

I just turn a blind eye now...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> Yes it was, him not taking bags to my car, (very simple task) was just messed up.
> 
> I guess he found that difficult to do, so I did too.


That doesn't require asking though, that's just something you're supposed to do.


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## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

My whole thing with the trash situation, is yes I can take the trash out myself, but why should I???? That is pretty much the only chore I ask my husband to do. I do the laundry, clean, take care and make sure the dogs are takin care of, help him with his car when he needs it, and Oh I work 9 hours a day. So I think I deserved to atleast to have something I don't have to worry about. And yes I constantly have to remind him to put it out Monday nights now because If I'm not on it, Tuesday when I walk in the house, it stinks and it reallys pisses me off that he can't remember this one task. And no I'm not complaing about having to do the others things because I do love my husband, but I kinda would appreciate the help even if it is just taking out the trash!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

This is a marriage, a partnership. You both work and the chores should be 50/50, which it appears he is failing at in spades.
As for those who said anything she can do for herself, she should, I guess that includes sex? Why should she show him any love if he fails to meet the most basic things she asks of him? Bring on resentment. 
Jamison and Trey got it right, as they always do.


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Why should she show him love?? I dunno maybe because they are married and she doesn't want him to get it somewhere else.. That sounds like a pretty good reason to me..

Using sex as a weapon is bull crap..

My point to all my posts, is that instead of nagging which just pisses us guys off.. You should have a talk about this and let him know that he needs to take out the trash before you notice it needs to be taken out.. Tell him how you feel, it pisses you off when you come home to a stinky house.. You know he can smell it if he is at home, so he should be able to take care of it..


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Brennan said:


> This is a marriage, a partnership. You both work and the chores should be 50/50, which it appears he is failing at in spades.
> As for those who said anything she can do for herself, she should, I guess that includes sex? Why should she show him any love if he fails to meet the most basic things she asks of him? Bring on resentment.
> Jamison and Trey got it right, as they always do.


your right, so in my case i should stop even trying to meet any of my wifes needs until she bucks up and pulls what i percieve to be her weight around the house.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> your right, so in my case i should stop even trying to meet any of my wifes needs until she bucks up and pulls what i percieve to be her weight around the house.


Yes! It goes both ways. In the OP's case he really isn't do even the bare minimum. That would turn me off as well.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Tool said:


> Why should she show him love?? I dunno maybe because they are married and she doesn't want him to get it somewhere else.. That sounds like a pretty good reason to me..
> 
> Using sex as a weapon is bull crap..
> 
> My point to all my posts, is that instead of nagging which just pisses us guys off.. You should have a talk about this and let him know that he needs to take out the trash before you notice it needs to be taken out.. Tell him how you feel, it pisses you off when you come home to a stinky house.. You know he can smell it if he is at home, so he should be able to take care of it..


She is his wife not his mother. If he can't figure out that the trash smells and needs to be out of the house without her pointing it out then he either needs a new nose or an MRI. 
I wouldn't show him love either. I'm not in to kids.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Procrastinating a little is fine. Procrastinating a lot is not. I agree that it's just being lazy.

It is not acceptable to live in filth, to never contribute around the house and to not help your SO.

If I had something even mildly heavy I wouldn't even have to ask, my fiance would just carry it for me, and if I was taking things out to the car, he would just help me, I doubt I'd even have to ask him, because that's just the way he is.

I don't care if he's not as clean as me, or doesn't place importance on the the same level of cleanliness or different chores, as long as he makes an effort with most things, then I would overlook the other stuff. If I or he was consistantly lazy, then I doubt either of us would be happy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly. 

Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Runs like Dog said:


> As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly.
> 
> Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.


THATS my problem exactly. everyone elses tiny messes are catastrophies to her, while her huge catastrophic messes never get any attention


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> As long as your house has ONE set of rules, who cares? But when She Who Is Obeyed has one set of rules for everyone else and yet she can be a Hoarders-worthy slob, that's when it gets ugly.
> 
> Hon, you haven't picked your dirty underwear up off the bathroom floor this week. Please don't tell me about the extra 30 minutes the breakfast dishes are in the sink today. They'll GET done. Your ****-tornado....it's not looking good for completion.


That's not the situation here though. She wrote that she works, she does everything and this is really his only chore. I agree with her that for her to have to even ask is ridiculous, let alone multiple times. It shows total disrespect towards her and her feelings. He cannot figure out how to take out trash? What's next, the recipe for ice?


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Being mindful of what needs to be done around the house etc, without having to be asked can be a very respectful quality in each others eyes. 

Although there have been times my wife might ask me to do something in which I have failed to see or overlooked etc, I have no problem with it. Even if I don't get to it right away, it still gets done. My wife usually asks me once, not ten times, if she has to get to that point, then her man isn't listening. THEN and only then does he hear only nagging, well I guess so after all that.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Brennan said:


> That's not the situation here though. She wrote that she works, she does everything and this is really his only chore. I agree with her that for her to have to even ask is ridiculous, let alone multiple times. It shows total disrespect towards her and her feelings. He cannot figure out how to take out trash? What's next, the recipe for ice?



I hate to say it because I am guilty of union-rules work slowdowns at home....but being a passive-abrasive a-hole is sometimes the only way to get back at a control-freak. I feel that wifey is probably going to have a fit and complain about how it's done anyway, so....feel free to do it, luv...

But you're right, in this case his sounds like a lout. Just a Lay-Z-Boy driving slacktard. I would disagree with the tactics though. I wouldn't nag. If he's a lout just tell him to do it loud and clear that first time with no bull****. Tell him to get up and do it. Period. If he doesn't then drag the trash can over to where he's sitting and plunk it in front of him.


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