# Please give me advice



## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Should I stay or leave? I joined this group before and I said this will be my last post but I come back here again so that if I could get more advice.

More and more live with this person more and more disappointed. It's difficult live with someone lots issues going on himself.

Been together two years and I have 3 month old daughter with me. He has alcohol anger issues. When he anger he lost control what I found out my husband parents has alcoholic and he grow up with it. My husband has same issues.

My husband realized himself it's hurting our family he stop drinking a year. Recently he kills our dog. When he upset he couldn't control himself the anger goes to dog.
My dog died.

It shows how serious he has issues.
He is military as a his job killing people so I already know he doesn't has normal behavior then other people.

Last night he had a few drinks and his behavior come up around me again and telling me "You make me mentally ill I never had this much issues in the past.
I am so done with you, I can't ****ing wait your move on, I can't wait your gone, I don't do anything, "You make me mentally ill I try make changes myself **** u want me to, you are make me mentally ill, I don't care any of that I changes myself how hard for you, but you are ****ing hurting me to the point, I am off better without you, what I been done in my life, I shouldn't start with you. What I were thinking

Then next day he told me whatever he saying was not true he doesn't want me to leave and he just drunk talking.

I always had issues that he doesn't treat me right and he always want blame on me.
He divorce recently also

It was already bit challenging for me married someone who going through divorce and who lie to me 3 months while we are dating.

He were a married and have a child
Financially was difficult he need paid ex wife and children, and she took house and me and him have to live in Small RV in 6 months.

And no one was supporting me.
His parents were blaming on me I make them aprt.

He is wife told me one time she were so miserable live with him and cheating on her all the time. And she were never happy 17 years of marriage.
And he is unfaithful person.

He were have a children when he was 16 young age. He is not normal even then I thought if he learn from that mistake he would be different but I think he is the same person he use to be.

The only thing different I could tell is definitely he does treat me better then last really he had

I try ask myself that maybe he just doesn't know how to give a love to someone when he grow up unhappy and unhealthy family and same time unhealthy relationship he has

Everytime the worst thing when we fight he talk about my last relationship that a guy I been with he had to leave because I had same action around them

Well.. If they don't make issues I wouldn't act that way. Dose make sense? I am not crazy no reason make a fight.

I been so dedicated this relationship and trying move forward with him. More and more I am trying feel like more and more he doesn't respect me.

I am finally really had enough. My daughter only 3 months. And I don't really recovered my body after birth. After birth come home my husband telling me why I need sleep so long and he yelled at me.

I never felt whatever I do I never really felt he has been application.
When he go to work I make lunch box for him other coworkers when they eat sndiwich I make really good lunch for him.


Even then he is word only say thank you but he is action are ungrateful. Since then I don't make lunch anymore.

I really had enough his behavior.
Please give me advice
My post will remove few hours later because I don't want he found out this

Thank you!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I thought you were returning to Korea?


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> I thought you were returning to Korea?


I am returning back on th28


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm not going to give you advice for two reasons: (1) You are not permitted by forum rules to have more than one account. You have previously posted as "Yoni." Unless you have requested another account and/or name change, you are in violation of forum rules. (2) You claim your husband killed your dog. If you are living with someone who would kill an innocent animal, you are sick, messed up, feeding us a crock of crap, or you are mentally/emotionally unstable. WHAT TYPE OF PERSON STAYS WITH SOMEONE WHO WOULD KILL THEIR PET?

Just so you'll know: I have reported you to the forum moderators.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> I'm not going to give you advice for two reasons: (1) You are not permitted by forum rules to have more than one account. You have previously posted as "Yoni." Unless you have requested another account and/or name change, you are in violation of forum rules. (2) You claim your husband killed your dog. If you are living with someone who would kill an innocent animal, you are sick, messed up, feeding us a crock of crap, or you are mentally/emotionally unstable. WHAT TYPE OF PERSON STAYS WITH SOMEONE WHO WOULD KILL THEIR PET?
> 
> Just so you'll know: I have reported you to the forum moderators.


I need to have two accounts so that my husband don't follow me.

And I am not the one killing the dog....?
I am sad that happen to my dog 

it's not just easy divorce with someone when I just married and have a child with that's not the simple that's why I am here first place asking advice..


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Omg the poor dog  how could you still stay with him? Your husband is a monster. He could kill you or your baby next, staying is putting your lives at risk.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> Omg the poor dog  how could you still stay with him? Your husband is a monster. He could kill you or your baby next, staying is putting your lives at risk.


I am really sorry to happen to our dog
He definitely has two side...he killed people same time save people. But like you said he has more monster anger side then other.

I always wonder myself that if he kill the dog Accidently he could also hurting me and our baby.

And I hear he bit his dad 
And mom had to call cops on him.
But there's reason he bit him it's because he is dad get drunk bit his mom and sister.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My suggestion is that you never get another pet of any kind as long as you remain with him. He’ll kill it and think how your daughter will feel.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Forest911 said:


> I am really sorry to happen to our dog
> He definitely has two side...he killed people same time save people. But like you said he has more monster anger side then other.
> 
> I always wonder myself that if he kill the dog Accidently he could also hurting me and our baby.


You need to make a safety plan to leave him. Alcohol and his temper is dangerous and puts you and baby at risk. Has he ever hit you, harmed you? There are places you can contact that will help you to leave safely.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> My suggestion is that you never get another pet of any kind as long as you remain with him. He’ll kill it and think how your daughter will feel.


He told me he doesn't feel bad killing human either. So maybe dog it's not a big deal for him. I should know better I get into the relationship


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I assume he’s going back to Korea with you?


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> You need to make a safety plan to leave him. Alcohol and his temper is dangerous and puts you and baby at risk. Has he ever hit you, harmed you? There are places you can contact that will help you to leave safely.


He never hit me ever but he take gun out near me and telling me he will suicide and die.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

It would naturally follow that if he has no issues murdering people and biting relatives, then killing a dog wouldn't be an issue for him either.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> I assume he’s going back to Korea with you?


Yeah he does...he start work there.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, you very obviously didn’t know him when you left Korea for the U.S. 

People like him who threaten to kill themselves rarely do but that doesn’t mean others are safe from them.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Forest911 said:


> Yeah he does...he start work there.


Well, at least you and your daughter will be home. Can your parents protect you?


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Trident said:


> It would naturally follow that if he has no issues murdering people and biting relatives, then killing a dog wouldn't be an issue for him either.


That's what his dad told me today
You know he is job killing people he doesn't has normal behavior people already has.
He doesn't have sympathy cops already told me few time he need get help even my own dr
So seem like the parents already know.
Nothing they can do about it.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> Well, at least you and your daughter will be home. Can your parents protect you?


Thank you! Yeah my parents will look after me and our baby. My dad tells me that my happiness most important if I am get abused by him.
They don't care if I choose divorce him. He will definitely look after my darther and myself


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He doesn’t want help and he isn’t going to get it. You are responsible for keeping your daughter safe. And that’s obviously a very big responsibility. It’s good that your parents will help you because you’ll need that.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> Yes, you very obviously didn’t know him when you left Korea for the U.S.
> 
> People like him who threaten to kill themselves rarely do but that doesn’t mean others are safe from them.


He threaten kill himself so many time around me. And I know he just anger and doesn't really mean it. Yesterday he told me if I leave him his life insurance and I will get nothing from him.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> He doesn’t want help and he isn’t going to get it. You are responsible for keeping your daughter safe. And that’s obviously a very big responsibility. It’s good that your parents will help you because you’ll need that.


I don't think he will change that he is behavior and he always think everyone is wrong and blame on others he is action.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He obviously threatens these things to keep you in your place. It’s worked so far but if you can manage three more weeks in this country than maybe you can breathe more easily once you’re home again.


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## Forest911 (Nov 7, 2021)

Openminded said:


> He obviously threatens these things to keep you in your place. It’s worked so far but if you can manage three more weeks in this country than maybe you can breathe more easily once you’re home again.


Yeah. He been gaslithing and I know he doing that to me I am just trying keep this relationship work trying my best. Seem like it's poison to me no matter how much I try. Maybe first place when he lie he were a married I should left him


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Well that was quick.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@Trident - I reported this poster to the moderators because a forum rule was broken; namely, a poster can only have one account. This poster violated the rules.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

@Prodigal I'm thinking more than one rule was broken. 

Just a hunch


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I couldn't stay with somebody who killed my dog. I certainly wouldn't have a kid with this person. Get out before you or the baby are his next victims


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