# My husband left me at the airport



## Didthisreallyhappen (Apr 14, 2011)

About a week ago, my husband and I were coming back from our one year anniversary trip in Las Vegas. The trip went great and we had a good time but our layover in Atlanta was a nightmare. Delta decided that after 5 hours and it being 1:30am they were going to cancel our flight; this left us stranded until noon the next day. 
We were starting to brainstorm on ideas for how to get back home since it was only about a 3 hour drive. My husband asked if I wanted him to call his sister and I said, 'no'. I cannot stand this female. The sound of her name makes me gag and she is not good to my husband at all. I thought for sure she wouldn't come even if he called her but out of some miracle she said she would come. 
My husband kept telling me I was getting in the car and I kept telling him I wasn't and that I told him not to call her; I would rather wait for the plane. So 6am comes and he leaves with her leaving me at the airport by myself. 
I believe in standing by your significant other no matter what but how do I continue to be there for him after he did this to me? He's done the opposite of what we decided on a few other times than this but this took the cake. How could he do this to me and how do I trust him again? I have been there for him for a lot and stood up for him many many times. I feel like such a fool. He doesn't really see why I am upset. I'm not sure what to do.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah that is wrong. He shoulda stayed w/ you.

My ex-H never left me at the airport but he did refuse to come get me once after a trip. We separated soon after.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I am confused...you said you stand by what the two of you decide...but it sounds like neither of you agreed with the other-- did he agree NOT to call his sister, or did you just say no and he did it anyway?

I don't know, I guess at that point, I'd have gone ahead with the sister, not going, no matter how much you dislike her sounds petty to me. And it isn't like you had no way home, you decided you wanted to wait for the plane right?


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Yeah that is wrong. He shoulda stayed w/ you.
> 
> My ex-H never left me at the airport but he did refuse to come get me once after a trip. We separated soon after.


Eh...I don't get it..I never asked my husband to get me from a trip. I travel alot for work, and it is really inconvenient sometimes. That is what airport parking is for.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Let me put it this way.. if I had a sister in law and if I hated her, I'd be more than happy to have her dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and drive me home.

Bad bad hubby for leaving you at the airport. Bad bad wifey for not letting hubby handle the forced-to-sleep-at-the-airport situation for her.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> Eh...I don't get it..I never asked my husband to get me from a trip. I travel alot for work, and it is really inconvenient sometimes. That is what airport parking is for.


I didn't have a ride home and he refused plain and simple to come and get me. 

We didn't separate cause of that though, but that was one of the things that happened before we did.

That is great you use the airport parking and never asked him for a ride. In my case, I needed one.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Yeah, I do have to say--I'm not sure that I entirely understand wanting to spend 12 hours wandering around the Las Vegas airport as opposed to just sucking up 3 or 4 hours with someone who's willing to drive 6 hours round trip in the middle of the night to take you home....

I certainly think that there should be a degree of loyalty in marriage, but it doesn't seem like a huge betrayal for him to try whatever he could think of to get you guys home. If he was willing to reach out to her given how their history sounds, it seems like I'd smile, say "thank you" and promptly fall "asleep" on the way back.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I understand you're upset about him leaving you there, but if his sister was your meal ticket home during that time, you might should have swallowed your hatred for her long enough for her to at least get you home. 

I would imagine your husband was upset with the fact you felt the way you did about his sister. No, its not a reason to leave you there, but maybe him getting home seemed a little more important to him than you feeling the way you did about his sister.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

12 hours in an airport vs 3 hours in a car? That's a no brainer. I'd have left you too and wouldn't have felt bad about it either. You are a grown woman you had a choice. You could go with him or you could stay. You stayed. Don't punish him for that.

I used to travel for a living so I've spent more than my share of nights in the airport....alone so this to me isn't a big deal.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

It could be that even though you view your husband leaving you there as being wrong or selfish, your husband may view you as being wrong and selfish for not returning home with him all because of his sister. So, while you may feel he hurt your feelings by leaving, its possible his feelings were hurt by you staying.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

magnoliagal said:


> 12 hours in an airport vs 3 hours in a car? That's a no brainer. I'd have left you too and wouldn't have felt bad about it either. You are a grown woman you had a choice. You could go with him or you could stay. You stayed. Don't punish him for that.
> 
> I used to travel for a living so I've spent more than my share of nights in the airport....alone so this to me isn't a big deal.


Me too


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Didthisreallyhappen said:


> About a week ago..


So that's the hill you want to die on. Has that stubbornness served you well, elsewhere in your marriage? Or is it symptomatic of a cycle of push backs that always end like this?

Did you feel he was choosing her over you? Did you feel disrespected? Or just disobeyed?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

hes right your wrong.


I would of left you also!

boho I don't like the driver so I'm not going.

childlike


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

The phrase 'any port in a storm' comes to mind. Your husband was trying to solve the problem so neither of you would end up in the airport all night. Once he made the call and she agreed to come, it would be very rude for either of you to be anything less than gracious to her for that. Sounds like you were being stubborn because you didn't want him to call her in the first place, but it wasn't as if he was calling her to hang out, you were both in a bind.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I can certainly understand why you are upset, but given your behavior under the circumstances you describe? 

I would have left you there as well.

You are both culpable in this. You each made your own decision - and both decisions were made out of frustration. As Runs Like Dog said, is this really the hill you want to die on?

If it is, your being left at the airport is only a piece of a much larger problem.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

guess who won in this one?
his sister.
how about that...


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

I concur with everyone else. You had a problem, he found a solution. You then decided you didn't like the solutioon and wanted to do something else. That's on you.

I would have done the same because you left him no real choice. And as you said yourself - you should have stuck with him!

But it sounds like that rule only applies to him sticking with you, based on what you would like to do. It goes both ways.

His solutions was the best given the circumstances. He actioned it and inconvienenced a relative to come get you guys. Then you decided to be difficult. I'm suprised he's not the one posting here...


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## committed4life (Apr 2, 2011)

he is the man you should allow him to make the decision in this case, no matter how much you dislike her you should have gone with him.


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

He can lead all he wants, but he can't make you follow. That's a choice only you can make. You chose not to.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Geez, make your own decision and accept the consequences. I don't buy into any of that "he's the man" crap, but once each of you made your own choice, live with it. Don't blame him; he has every right to make his own decision, too. You didn't like his, so you made a different one. He does not have to "protect" you; you are a grown up. Lighten up and let go of this one!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Didthisreallyhappen said:


> The sound of her name makes me gag and she is not good to my husband at all.


Sounds like she is good enough to him to bail him out of a jam in the middle of the night. She offered an act of kindness to her brother. Could have been a start to a better relationship with you also. Sorry, you blew this one. You owe both of them an apology.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I think it depends on the history and how bad it is. I don't believe in *using people* I don't like and wouldn't like it if my SO and I had agreed not to be in contact with someone who was particularly harmful and he did so anyway.

However if it is just the usual brother sister/ family stuff then you were wrong not to go, and he was just as wrong to leave you there. But as people said, she drove to the airport to come and get both and it was very nice thing for her to do. You should not have been rude about it.


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## Didthisreallyhappen (Apr 14, 2011)

I'm proud of my stubborness thank you. It's the only thing that saves me from people walking all over me. And for everyone here, you have no idea how horrible a person this female is. She just wanted something to hang over our heads. This female acts like a 12 yo girl, has worse hygeine habits than a homeless person living in a sewer and is a worse mother than an animal that eats it's young. She does not acknowledge anything we do for her and we have done a lot. That is why I'm done with her. She just wanted something to hang over our heads and would not even recognize the things we did for her. And for whoever said it I WILL NOT ever tell that female thank you for anything. That was his arguement. She was driving all that way to come get him but I just smelled something fishy in it. It will come back to haunt him. His whole family is a crap and I think he should have considered my feelings when he made this decision. Besides, I'm surprised the car made it back. I guess there is more to this than I can describe online.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Didthisreallyhappen said:


> I guess there is more to this than I can describe online.


And thats fine but its HIS sister and he has to figure that out on his own. I'm just saying don't punish him for making that call. It was your choice to not get into that car and I applaud you for standing behind your principles. But berating him isn't going to make him see the light about his family any faster.

Been there done that with my own toxic family. They hold everything over my head...


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## HoopsFan (Jan 13, 2011)

my initial reaction to your last post was stronger, but I don't want the mods putting me on probation... lol.

I come away from this feeling sorry for your husband. You're acting bitter and childish. I bet your H enjoyed that car ride without your nagging. We only live once; holding a grudge and anger in your heart punishes you more than anyone.


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Tell you what, I travel and spend more time than is healthy away from home. If at the end of my trip I had no ride home, I would gratefully take a ride from the devil himself to make it home to my wife and son. 

YOU hate his sister and family, YOU didn't want to get home, YOU decided to stay in the airport, YOU now want to hold it over him, YOU have the problem here, regardless of what YOU think about his family situation. So now, YOU need to take responsibility for YOUR own choice and not think he did anything wrong by going home.

On a side note.... did he have work that day? BIG factor that needs to be considered.


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## lime (Jul 3, 2010)

I disagree with the majority of people here.

He should have stuck with you, and he shouldn't have called his sister. 3 hours in the car with someone I hated would be WAY worse to me than 12 hours in an airport.

This was your anniversary, and he chose to end it by leaving you? I'm not a romantic at all, but that just doesn't feel right symbolically.

For your part though, you could have done more to find a better solution to the problem. You could have been more positive about hanging out at the airport rather than simply negative about the sister. But it makes sense if you were both tired.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I just shake my head reading this! 

Why do you harbor resentment and let it keep on bothering you? 

If somebody had done something bad to us, but she is willing to be nice to us again, why don't we just take the opportunity and start a new relationship? 

Why do people think they are better than others and hate the other person's presence? That person is willing to save you, and you actually refuse her? 

Would you rescue her if she were in danger? Would she rescue you if you were in danger? What would you react if you were in a fatal situation and a person you loathe came to rescue you? Wouldn't you be grateful for her kindness and thank her afterwards?

Being stubborn is not a good attitude. Some people will still walk all over you! Or they can just ignore you! Is being ignored a better feeling?

People won't walk all over you when they respect you!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Not only should he left you at teh airport, but changed the locks when he got home.

You sound like a first class stuck up snob.

He is better off with out you, to bad he let you back in the door.

Just from your two post I would stay away from you.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

You said his whole family is crap, so I guess it goes beyond his sister. What is it they are doing or have done to make you feel this way?


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

Didthisreallyhappen said:


> I'm proud of my stubborness thank you. It's the only thing that saves me from people walking all over me. And for everyone here, you have no idea how horrible a person this female is. She just wanted something to hang over our heads. This female acts like a 12 yo girl, has worse hygeine habits than a homeless person living in a sewer</quote>
> 
> *Whether she had a shower or not is irellevent to the fact that she was trying to help you.*<quote>
> and is a worse mother than an animal that eats it's young.</quote>
> ...


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

HoopsFan said:


> my initial reaction to your last post was stronger, but I don't want the mods putting me on probation... lol.
> 
> I come away from this feeling sorry for your husband. You're acting bitter and childish. I bet your H enjoyed that car ride without your nagging. We only live once; holding a grudge and anger in your heart punishes you more than anyone.


 Worth repeating. My thoughts exactly.

No matter what your issues are with his sister, what you did was worse. You physically snubbed her.

Rise above it, ok? Take the high road and show her what a true adult looks like.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that, just maybe, your husband has spent the last year married to you, watched the way you treat his family (and vice versa), and decided he wasn't going to lower himself to be part of it any more. You may want to take a closer look at your relationship.


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