# Heres another...wife texting another married man 1000 miles away



## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

Shock of the week...another post about a wife texting another man (married, no less) that lives out of state (1000 miles away)

My wife and I have been together 3 1/2 years, married for 1 1/2. We're just under 30 years of age. We've had some issues that have led to heated arguments - such as sex life. I was having major problems and then within the past 6 months I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor that was destroying my libido and sex drive. Fast forward to now, and I'm responding well to medication and sex drive is coming back.

A couple months ago, we were driving home from somewhere and got in to an argument about something. Typically it's always something I "do" that makes her initiate the argument. After she got it out of her system, I laid in to her about something that had been bothering me for a month prior. She would be constantly sending/receiving text messages from some guy that I never heard of in my life. Never met the guy, he wasn't invited to our wedding, knew 0 about this guy. Kept it inside thinking maybe it would just go away - but it didn't. Got my point across and there was silence the rest of the way home. We went to bed without speaking a single word to each other.

The next day, she sort of "apologizes" and tries to explain. They used to work together when she was in college. When my wife lost her younger brother, they used to talk about it. And that his wife is a psycho. That's about all I got out of it. My wife is hurt every day with the loss of her brother. I just don't know why after 3 1/2 years of being together, I'm first hearing about this person. We made up and moved on.

Then a month later, I kept getting notifications about my wife exceeding her data usage. I logged in to my wireless account to see if I could change plans or do something to avoid them...and that's when I saw the summary of text messages that month. Thousands of text messages, somewhere around 3X the amount as me. I got curious and looked at the logs. This guys number is EVERYWHERE. Then I looked at the call log, and his number came up a few times. Just looking at it recently, the number of calls and minutes have gone up a lot each month.

3 months ago, 1 call, 15 minutes
2 months ago, 11 calls, 126 minutes
1 month ago, 9 calls, 67 minutes
This month, 18 calls, 308 minutes

Most of the calls are being done while shes at work in mid-afternoon (15-30 minute calls). Some calls are late at night when I'm sleeping (those are only 1-5 minute calls). The last 3 days, she has talked to him while at work for almost an hour total.

She never talks to him in front of me. Always tries to be sneaky when she's texting him. The guy is married with kids, around the same age, but lives 16+ hours away. My wife doesn't travel for work, so they aren't meeting in person. I really don't know what to do and it's bothering me so much. I appreciate the advice in advance.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

clearly inappropriate or should wouldn't be sneaky. EA for sure

Are you sure he is that far away? This could be PA


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

scj7285 said:


> 3 months ago, 1 call, 15 minutes
> 2 months ago, 11 calls, 126 minutes
> 1 month ago, 9 calls, 67 minutes
> This month, 18 calls, 308 minutes


I don't even think I get 18 calls a month. And certainly not ones that last for 5+ hours. Who the f talks for 5 hours? Do people do that? All of my phone conversations last less than 5 minutes.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

Can you please explain what EA and PA means? I've done my due diligence, and I can confirm he is almost 1000 miles away.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

ea - emotional affair
PA - physical

any chance they met somewhere for a even a few houirs in the past 3 months. No dude spends that much time with a woman on the phone or texting w/o ulterior motives


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Does your wife have an iPhone? If so, you can back it up on Itunes and view the logs of the texts she has been sending. It's tedious, but effective.

Also, you could put some spyware on your wife's phone. Do some research on this to find the best, and least detectable, options.

You could also put a voice-activated recorder (VAR) under the seat of her car. That allows you to hear any phone conversations she would have with him while she's driving.

She's obviously having an emotional affair (EA). But you probably want to hold off on confronting her until you know exactly what they're talking about. If it's just being BFFs, it's inappropriate and needs to stop. If it's sexting and planning their mutual divorces and future lives together, you probably need a lawyer.

And, once you get the evidence you need and get ready to confront her, alert the affair partner's wife first. That gives her the chance to handle things from her end.

Good luck.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

My wife loves and needs a large social network and thusly texts emails facebooks and talks to guys and gals all over the world. 

Most are old friends from past work places and jobs she has been on or life long associates and some are new online friends as well.

Personally I don't give a rip who she communicates with or how. It keeps her happy and informed of whatever it is she seems to need to know.

Then again I am not the jealous or suspicious tpe either so who she talks to really has no concern to me to begin with.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

naiveonedave said:


> ea - emotional affair
> PA - physical
> 
> any chance they met somewhere for a even a few houirs in the past 3 months. No dude spends that much time with a woman on the phone or texting w/o ulterior motives


I can't remember the entire 3 months, but it would seem quite difficult. We work similar schedules, she comes right home after work. We typically always go out together. Don't really remember a night where she went out and I stayed home.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

PHTlump said:


> Does your wife have an iPhone? If so, you can back it up on Itunes and view the logs of the texts she has been sending. It's tedious, but effective.
> 
> Also, you could put some spyware on your wife's phone. Do some research on this to find the best, and least detectable, options.
> 
> ...


My intention is to not snoop around to read up on what they're talking about. I'm trying to come up with a plan on how to approach this for a second and final time and get some type of resolution.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

married tech said:


> My wife loves and needs a large social network and thusly texts emails facebooks and talks to guys and gals all over the world.
> 
> Most are old friends from past work places and jobs she has been on or life long associates and some are new online friends as well.
> 
> ...


But does your wife hide these things from you? That's the difference maker.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Maybe it's time that you really let her know that this is unacceptable and if it continues, you'll be more than willing to ship her 1000 miles to this guy with a final divorce decree and her suitcases in her hand.

It's obvious that she didn't hear you the first time so let her know that this is her last warning before you bring out the big guns and if she gives you any nonsense about it, stop her from getting a word in edge wise and tell her that she heard you this time and next time there will be no warning, just actions because that speaks louder than words and leave it at that. 

Let her know in a way that your at the end of the line with this and there isn't any more room for discussion.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

the fact you don't know the guy and she is apparently hiding this from you ensures it is an EA. Like others said, stay quiet and get more intel. I suggest you have the mods move this to the CWI board. You will get more and better help there.

Read some threads on the CWI board, you could be on the verge of a life altering moment and don't know it yet.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

naiveonedave said:


> the fact you don't know the guy and she is apparently hiding this from you ensures it is an EA. Like others said, stay quiet and get more intel. I suggest you have the mods move this to the CWI board. You will get more and better help there.
> 
> Read some threads on the CWI board, you could be on the verge of a life altering moment and don't know it yet.


Thanks for suggesting the other board. I will look in to that and hope the mods move this one.

The main problem I have, is that I am not interested in reading through text messages, listening to voice conversations, etc. I want to have an open conversation - no matter how hard it is - and talk about exactly what is happening. I just need to find a way to approach this in a civil way.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

scj7285 said:


> My intention is to not snoop around to read up on what they're talking about. I'm trying to come up with a plan on how to approach this for a second and final time and get some type of resolution.


Well, then you'll be working at a disadvantage. In your wife's mind, she may be entirely innocent and just talking to a friend. As such, she will be unlikely to comply with any request of yours to stop.

On the other hand, she may be planning her divorce and she might be happy to appear to end her affair, only to blindside you at a later date.

The only approach that I think would work for your approach is to go caveman on her. Inform the other man's wife of his calling and texting your wife. Type out a no-contact letter stating that her marriage is more important than her relationship with the other man, ask him to never contact her again, in any fashion, have your wife sign, and then you mail it to him.

If she balks, kick her out.

Good luck.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

scj7285 said:


> The main problem I have, is that I am not interested in reading through text messages, listening to voice conversations, etc. I want to have an open conversation - no matter how hard it is - and talk about exactly what is happening. I just need to find a way to approach this in a civil way.


One constant in this world is that cheaters lie. Even when they're caught, they will continue to lie.

If your wife is planning to divorce you and marry this man, I absolutely guarantee you that she will never admit that until she hands you the papers to sign.

So, she will either apologize for getting carried away and promise to cut back, or stop, or she will become indignant that you don't trust her and refuse to cut back, or stop. Either way will tell you absolutely nothing about what she has been doing, or what she is planning.

Good luck.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

scj7285 said:


> Thanks for suggesting the other board. I will look in to that and hope the mods move this one.
> 
> The main problem I have, is that I am not interested in reading through text messages, listening to voice conversations, etc. I want to have an open conversation - no matter how hard it is - and talk about exactly what is happening. I just need to find a way to approach this in a civil way.


"Famous last words of a fool" -George Strait
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

scj7285 said:


> Thanks for suggesting the other board. I will look in to that and hope the mods move this one.
> 
> The main problem I have, is that I am not interested in reading through text messages, listening to voice conversations, etc. I want to have an open conversation - no matter how hard it is - and talk about exactly what is happening. I just need to find a way to approach this in a civil way.


The main problem with what you propose is that most likely, she will only confess to what you can prove. So you'll probably get all sorts of denials of any emotional connection. Expect to hear "he's just a friend" a lot. 

In the end, you likely won't know much more than you go in there with, and everything will go even more underground. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Oh... And just to give you some other food for thought. She could have met him at lunch, or taken days/time off from work to meet him if he had come into town. Stranger things have happened. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I agree with all these guys. Based on timing, I would almost be surprised if it hasn't gone physical yet. And if it hasn't, it is being planned.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

You could always offer to buy her a ticket to fly out and see her boyfriend face to face.
A one-way ticket of course.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

So perhaps if someone can talk me through my next concern if I were to snoop.

If I get a hold of her records, and it's nothing but "chat" i.e. no talk about splitting up, seeing each other, lovey dovey type crap...and then I confront her saying she needs to cut the crap or else because I've seen the records - don't you think trust will never be had by the two of us again? The fact that I went behind her back, read through her personal stuff to see if she was cheating, to find out she wasnt...just don't know how there could ever be trust in a relationship again?


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

What we she say if you spent 1000s of texts and hours on the phone with another woman. That is cheating, even if it is innocent. That time should be spent on your M, not on other men.

Right now, you should not trust her at all. This is much worse than you think it is, imo.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

scj7285 said:


> So perhaps if someone can talk me through my next concern if I were to snoop.
> 
> If I get a hold of her records, and it's nothing but "chat" i.e. no talk about splitting up, seeing each other, lovey dovey type crap...and then I confront her saying she needs to cut the crap or else because I've seen the records - don't you think trust will never be had by the two of us again? *The fact that I went behind her back, read through her personal stuff to see if she was cheating, to find out she wasnt...just don't know how there could ever be trust in a relationship again?*


The typical worry of the spouse who has newly discovered evidence of deception. Most of us have been there. It is *she* who is going behind *your* back, and it is therefore *she* who is playing fast and loose with trust.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

She exceeded her data usage? I am not sure how things work down there, but where I live texting doesn't impact data usage. Even sending pics via text doesn't incur data debt. What would do it though is to have a messenger service like Kik or WhatsApp that works via data plan. Chances are that she is using something like that and sending and receiving pics and vids that way. It's almost guaranteed that whatever she's doing it's being hidden from casual inspection, so you won't be able to just pick up her phone and check it easily. 

And the chance for a "civil discussion" has long passed. She will lie and sweep everything under the rug and you'll go back to feeling uneasy without fully knowing what's going on.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

scj, your wife is in an affair. She is giving significant emotional attachment to this other man. So it doesn't matter whether or not it is PA in terms of how you deal with it. You bust the affair.

It is not easy, nor is it pleasant. Realize right now that there is no smooth civilized path for you. Whether you bust the affair or divorce her today, things are going to be difficult and unpleasant. So, make up your mind that the final goal is what is important. Don't try to avoid bruises. Try to find the best final outcome.

I suggest you read "After the Affair" by J. Spring. Also, stay far away from other marriage forums for now. Some of them take the attitude that it is your fault she strayed, and it is your burden to fix the marriage. In fact you have to do a lot of hard work but your wife is the one who ultimately has to choose to save the marriage. You can't do this for her.

Gather intel quickly. Get all the data you can on what her communications have been. I would also suggest putting a Voice Activated Recorder (VAR) in your house where she makes these late night phone calls. Look up member Weightlifter here on these forums. He is the Var master, and recommends a specific Sony model. Do it today so you can start catching conversations tonight.

You could also VAR her car to catch phone conversations she has with him while driving.

In just a few days you should have enough data to know the true depth of her EA. Then, you nuke it hard. You confront her with the data, though always abide the #1 Rule which is to never ever reveal your sources. Don't let her know about the VAR or about reading her texts.

Don't try to convince her you are right. Just tell her what she is doing is not acceptable to you. It may be acceptable to her, but that is not relevant. You set a boundary, which is that you will not permit this behavior within your marriage. She can choose to not agree, but then you have the right to enforce the boundary, which means you file for D.

Ideally she is scared by your confrontation and tries to end contact. She will almost certainly fail. More likely she will lie, deflect, gaslight, and blameshift. She may say she'll end contact but she secretly plans to keep at it by going underground to hide it from you. So, you need spy-tech in place. VARs, GPS her car perhaps, spy ware on her phone (if you can find something and if you can install it cleanly), keylogger on the computer.

There is a lot of wisdom to the advice to file for D and during the confrontation to hand her the papers. This leaves no room for her to doubt you are serious. Most men are not ready for this level of assertiveness, but it is warranted and it can be productive. I don't see a downside to it, but it is a scary thing to do.

You also expose the affair. The idea is to kill the affair by making it unpleasant. You take away the fun of having something secret going on. You expose to the other man's wife. Let her put severe pressure on from that side. Frequently the OM will drop the affair because he wants to save his own skin.

If you don't take these strong measures, the affair will only escalate. Read up on The Fog. Your wife is not going to simply be friends with him. She is in a love affair now, and she will go into a sexual affair as soon as they can get together.

It may seem counter intuitive, but if the marriage survives your wife will look back and respect you for being tough with her. She may complain today about you snooping, but eventually she will see it was necessary.

Learn to be a broken record. When you confront her don't let her derail you. If she tries to minimize what she is doing, you reply "I understand you think this is not a big deal, but it is unacceptable to me that my wife has an emotional attachment with another man. I will not stay in a relationship which includes having such contact with another man". If she blames you, you respond "I can see how you believe it is my fault you need to reach out to him, but it is unacceptable to me ........."


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

scj7285 said:


> If I get a hold of her records, and it's nothing but "chat" i.e. no talk about splitting up, seeing each other, lovey dovey type crap...and then I confront her saying she needs to cut the crap or else because I've seen the records - don't you think trust will never be had by the two of us again? The fact that I went behind her back, read through her personal stuff to see if she was cheating, to find out she wasnt...just don't know how there could ever be trust in a relationship again?


First, you should only tell your wife WHAT you know, never HOW you know it. She will ask and you should immediately dismiss it as unimportant. If she is engaging in an affair, or trying to, all that will accomplish is giving her notice of which of her communication avenues have been compromised. If she knows you read her cell phone texts, she will delete them. If she knows you see her records, she will buy a prepaid burner phone. If she knows you read her email, she will use Facebook messaging.

As for going behind her back, it just depends on what kind of marriage you want to have. If you want a marriage where spouses can keep secrets from each other that can destroy the marriage, then yes, you will be giving that up.

But most people here will say that there is a significant difference between privacy in a marriage, and secrecy. Privacy is closing the door when you're on the toilet. Secrecy is texting your boyfriend when your husband is asleep. Privacy is fine. Secrecy isn't.

Also, if you snooped and you find that she isn't sexting, or being emotional, but just being inappropriate with the other man, don't bring it up. Don't tell her that you know exactly what she's being saying to the other man. Just tell her that you know she's been spending way too much time communicating with him, that you've notified his wife, and that she needs to cease contact for the health of your marriage.

Good luck.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

scj7285 said:


> So perhaps if someone can talk me through my next concern if I were to snoop.
> 
> If I get a hold of her records, and it's nothing but "chat" i.e. no talk about splitting up, seeing each other, lovey dovey type crap...and then I confront her saying she needs to cut the crap or else because I've seen the records - don't you think trust will never be had by the two of us again? The fact that I went behind her back, read through her personal stuff to see if she was cheating, to find out she wasnt...just don't know how there could ever be trust in a relationship again?


Do you trust her now ?


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

MSP said:


> She exceeded her data usage? I am not sure how things work down there, but where I live texting doesn't impact data usage. Even sending pics via text doesn't incur data debt. What would do it though is to have a messenger service like Kik or WhatsApp that works via data plan. Chances are that she is using something like that and sending and receiving pics and vids that way. It's almost guaranteed that whatever she's doing it's being hidden from casual inspection, so you won't be able to just pick up her phone and check it easily.
> 
> And the chance for a "civil discussion" has long passed. She will lie and sweep everything under the rug and you'll go back to feeling uneasy without fully knowing what's going on.


Trying to fix the data issue is what revealed it - the screen I was on breaks down by phone, the minutes for phone calls, # of test messages sent, and amount of data used. My intent was to try to fix the data, but then I realized the high number of text messages which made me look in to it.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

that isn't even snooping. You need to act fast on collecting more intel or decide that you have enough now and lay the law down.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

Thanks everyone. I might be at a disadvantage right now - but I can't let this go another day. It will be brought up after work. Appreciate all the feedback.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Careful! Don't confront prematurely. Be sure you have enough data and enough will to hold your ground.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

Thor said:


> Careful! Don't confront prematurely. Be sure you have enough data and enough will to hold your ground.


I've already come to terms that I will not record calls or read text messages. If she gets defensive, then I'll ask her to see her phone. If she pushes back, then that's all I need to hear. Might not be the way to definitively resolve the issue, but it's how I feel most comfortable doing it.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Sadly everything that has been said here is true. I faced exactly the same situation about a decade ago. I confronted her, got the we're only friends line and the communication went further underground. 

A couple months after finding the personal e-mails on our home computer she left her secure work computer on after she went out (she worked from home). Presumably it would normally lock after a preset amount of time. I noticed and decided to check her e-mail. It contained sexually explicit exchanges and talk of meeting. When I confronted her with that I got the explanation 'it was just a phase'. 

I'm ashamed of it now but even then I continued working to 'save the marriage'. My self esteem took a real nose dive. About four months later she called it quits on the marriage. He moved in with her about 8 months later. 

I have no way of knowing if your wife is on the same path. I just wanted to share my story with you for what it's worth. My biggest regret is that I didn't grow a backbone until long after I'd already shamed myself by putting up with her behaviour.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Listen, she will not give up the phone!!! Well at least not until she deletes all the texts messages. If she does that....than you have your answer. Remember.... There's privacy and then there's secrecy. You decide which you can live with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

IMO - when she blows you off or blameshifts, you have to threaten D and then follow up on it. It would help to have D papers drawn up to hand her at the time you confront.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

scj7285 said:


> I've already come to terms that I will not record calls or read text messages. If she gets defensive, then I'll ask her to see her phone. If she pushes back, then that's all I need to hear. Might not be the way to definitively resolve the issue, but it's how I feel most comfortable doing it.


Please find out his wife's info and let her know. This may end the affair pronto.
There is no privacy in marriage except for the bathroom.
You should get a voice activated recorder for her car and one for the house.


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## scj7285 (Feb 7, 2014)

This has opened up my eyes to a lot of things wrong in our marriage. I've always known about them, thought about them, but were afraid to ever do anything about them.

She is always, always the confrontational one. I don't remember the last time I seeked out an argument on my own. When I try to stand up for myself, she usually says, "Divorce me, I don't care". She's short tempered so I figured she was just saying that even though she really didn't mean it. Now I'm starting to think that maybe she really does mean it. 

I don't see, right now, how this could ever be fixed. Even if she stops the conversations with this guy, and fixes her short temper and way she treats me...it'll always be in the back of my head. In a tough spot right now, but thanks again for all the input.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

scj7285 said:


> This has opened up my eyes to a lot of things wrong in our marriage. I've always known about them, thought about them, but were afraid to ever do anything about them.
> 
> She is always, always the confrontational one. I don't remember the last time I seeked out an argument on my own. When I try to stand up for myself, she usually says, "Divorce me, I don't care". She's short tempered so I figured she was just saying that even though she really didn't mean it. *Now I'm starting to think that maybe she really does mean it. *
> I don't see, right now, how this could ever be fixed. Even if she stops the conversations with this guy, and fixes her short temper and way she treats me...it'll always be in the back of my head. In a tough spot right now, but thanks again for all the input.


She may want you to file, saves her the stigma of doing it herself, gives the blame to you.

Continuing to talk to this guy after your confrontation...she wants you to make a move. At the least she doesn't care what you think about it, she'll just keep doing it.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

this looks like an exit affair, though we don't have much data. THe i don't care is a huge red flag. That is worse than I hate you. Says she is totally detached. I agree with Malaise, she is too weak to file and wants you to do the dirty work.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

I suggest Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits. for some good information on how to behave in a successful marriage. Even if your marriage is ending, the site will give good tips for appealing to different women.

Good luck.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Let us know how it goes tonight.
Good luck!
Let close friends and family know why the marriage is really ending.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

scj7285 said:


> This has opened up my eyes to a lot of things wrong in our marriage. I've always known about them, thought about them, but were afraid to ever do anything about them.
> 
> She is always, always the confrontational one. I don't remember the last time I seeked out an argument on my own. When I try to stand up for myself, *she usually says, "Divorce me, I don't care".* She's short tempered so I figured she was just saying that even though she really didn't mean it. Now I'm starting to think that maybe she really does mean it.
> 
> I don't see, right now, how this could ever be fixed. Even if she stops the conversations with this guy, and fixes her short temper and way she treats me...it'll always be in the back of my head. In a tough spot right now, but thanks again for all the input.


Well, maybe you should call her bluff. If she really doesn't care, then perhaps you really should move on. Guess it all depends on how much you love her and are willing to put up with her BS.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

scj7285 said:


> She is always, always the confrontational one. I don't remember the last time I seeked out an argument on my own. When I try to stand up for myself, she usually says, "Divorce me, I don't care". She's short tempered so I figured she was just saying that even though she really didn't mean it. Now I'm starting to think that maybe she really does mean it.


 The next time she says "divorce me, I don't care" look her in the eye and in a calm voice let her know that old Chinese proverb, "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it." Then tell her, "there it is, you want it, you got it" and put the ball in her corner and say nothing more.

One other thing. For god sake man tell her to shut the hell up once in a while.


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## spanz (Feb 6, 2014)

yea the first few years of a marriage can be interesting. Do you have any indication the marriage is going poorly? Like little or no sex? 

Hey I would suggest you give her some slack. Demand truthfulness from her on. Make sure she knows she can talk over ANYTHING with you, and really mean it. tell her if she wants to chat with this guy, she should not be hiding it. see what happens. If she opens up, you have NOTHING to worry about. If she refuses to change, and stays secretive....then yeah I would start to get worried.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

scj7285 said:


> I've already come to terms that I will not record calls or read text messages. If she gets defensive, then I'll ask her to see her phone. If she pushes back, then that's all I need to hear. Might not be the way to definitively resolve the issue, but it's how I feel most comfortable doing it.


Sadly she is following the usual EA/PA script,

But

More Sadly, 
you are following also the usual script, you are rugsweeping the situation. Please follow the advise of the experienced posters, or you will have more hurt than you can imagine. Read some CWI stories please.


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

I just went through this crap. Same thing too. Read my threads and learn a lot. 
You need to gain intel. Email cell numbers logs. 
You need his cell. Address at home. Work. His wife's name and cell. 
Get all the intel first. Or you will drive her under ground. 
Get a var for her car. 

You need to get the power back. I did the same thing and got my power back. I did a huge 180. 
You are being held hostage here. Play it smart or you marriage is done.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

any update scj?


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

You can also go to her iTunes account and see what she downloaded onto her phone. Then you know what apps to look for there as well.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Is she taking the phone into the bathroom with her?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I wish OP wouldn't have asked for the phone. He needed to take it and see for himself what is on it. The last thing he should have done was ask to see the phone. Now there will always be doubt.

It's been a week since he posted. Hopefully he will be back to update.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

Yes I'm waiting too. Hope he takes the advice. 
There are many here that can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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