# Is (dark) humor allowed here?



## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Because all of you are very serious. 

I often deal with stress with dark humor, and yes, it has gotten me in trouble. When I discovered my stbx was an LCB (serial lying cheating bastard), I needed an outlet for my rage.

Let's just say that I am not a shrinking violet. But, I do have two teenage kids and I did not want to be (too) destructive.

A sharpie became my best friend. I ended up tagging his bicycle helmet. But even better, I tagged the inside of his winter coats with things like "lying cheating bastard" and "Russian skank ***** lover". I tagged every single one of his winter coats...on the inside. This was in late May. I ended up having to hide the sharpie because I was just having too much fun.

I then kind of forgot about it.

About a month ago, he was being quite pissy in his emails re the kids. I ended up seeing the weather in his location. It was snowing. Heh.

He will never ever mention it to me.

:rofl:


I know it was/is immature, but I still get a chuckle out of it. So, sue me.


Now, you go.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Fenix, that is pretty funny...

Mine isn't nearly as bad...

I got a ring-tone of a witch cackling. Every time my EX calls or texts, it goes off. I love it.

The first time I heard it, I was driving my son's baseball game and it went off. I was laughing so hard, I could not answer the phone... blue-tooth in my jeep.

Immature... sure

It's still my sound effect for her.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I think it is allowed...some...*I have a habbit of putting lol after a lot of things...and it was miscontrued*...so when I do it I make sure they know exactly what i am laughing at.
> 
> I think it is handled better outside of the CWI forum.


Gee, how could that possibly happen?? :scratchhead:


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Fenix, I think this old urban legend is tailor made for you......


After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.

He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.

On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.

On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. NOTHING WORKED.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house.

The Maid quit.

Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later even through they had cut their price in half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house ha been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......

INCLUDING THE CURTAIN RODS.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Well why not humor helps relieve stress and let's face it we should be able to make fun of the ridiculousness of the situation that has brought us here.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

3putt said:


> Fenix, I think this old urban legend is tailor made for you......
> 
> 
> After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.
> ...


Oh yes.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

love=pain said:


> Well why not humor helps relieve stress and let's face it we should be able to make fun of the ridiculousness of the situation that has brought us here.


Absolutely, love=pain.


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

Why so serious? (Turns out some TAMers married Joker's siblings).


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I see the prawn story is an urban myth, however... working nights in a hotel, one guy managed to shift much of his manual work onto me (setting up conference rooms in the morning), so that he could spend more time with the girls in his dismal little office. He was pretty condescending about it too.

Late at night when I was the only staff member on, with access to everywhere, I used to strain the liquid from the crud on the trays used to cook fish into the carpets of that office. 

I did my new duties with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.

Another one was putting in automatic wake-up calls for drunk guests who had p*ssed me off, timed to go off after I'd gone home.

Sabotage is the right of every working stiff. "Don't tread on me", amiright?


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

Sand 'vengeance' fly


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

brokeneric said:


> Sand 'vengeance' fly


From: 'The doctrine of the mean' (=balance), by Confucius: 



Someone asked: "What do you think of the saying: 'Repay hatred with kindness'?"

Confucius replied: "_Then how will you repay kindness_? 

Repay hatred with justice and repay kindness with kindness".


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

Allen, where are thou? Tell us a joke. Please.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I sometimes use witty remarks to make a serious point. Or a slightly odd turn of phrase.

As in:

"An act of carnal congress, so intense that it was hitherto unknown in the annals of sexual history"

or:

"The best darn f***ing *ever*!" 

Which sounds best, d'you think?:scratchhead::rofl:


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

A blind man walks into a bar. 

And a table. and a chair.


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## brokeneric (Jan 27, 2014)

I did post something hilarious when I just joined. I was even more funny coz I said with seriousness-

'I gave everything to my marriage, even my a**hole'

What philat posted was even better. If he would do the honors.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

brokeneric said:


> I did post something hilarious when I just joined. I was even more funny coz I said with seriousness-
> 
> 'I gave everything to my marriage, even my a**hole'
> 
> What philat posted was even better. If he would do the honors.


Oh man, I do believe you just reset the bar for dark humor.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

A highway patrolman got behind a truck and turned on his lights attempting to pull the truck over. The truck immediately sped up and the incident turned into a full fledged "police" chase reaching speeds of 100 mph before the truck was successfully stopped at a road block 25 miles from where it started. The patrolman approached the male driver and asked him why ran; he was only stopping him to inform him he forgot to replace his gas cap when he filled up. The driver responded that his ex-wife ran off with a highway patrolman and he thought it was that very patrolman trying to bring her back.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I actually know someone that put dead fish in the underside of the box springs of the marital bed, with the WS took with him. 

It took about a month for him to find it -- and he was sleeping on the couch by then because the smell was overpowering. He had lifted the mattress a number of times, knowing it was coming from there... but not the box springs!


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