# How important is money to your marriage?



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Shortly after my husband first told me he loved me, the thought went through my head that he would be a good husband, a good father . . . and _a good provider._

I was not trying to analyze him; it just sort of came to me.

He has been the sole provider since our children were born, and sometimes I felt stressed when I did not think he was providing _enough_.

Looking back 20 years now, I see I should not have worried. I created unnecessary stress on myself, and maybe even a little on him.

How important is money to your marriage? Did your spouse's ability to earn affect your decision to marry? Do you see money differently at this point in your relationship than you used to?


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Money has never been important to me. We were fine when I was the sole breadwinner, good when both of us were working, and fine now that he is the sole breadwinner. I just adjust our budget to what we earn. As long as there is enough for food and shelter, we're good.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

As long as I know I can pay all the bills with my income,what he brings to the table doesn't matter.It's a nice bonus to me if he makes a decent salary but it doesn't determine my feelings. I don't look at any man in terms of " he could be a good provider" because I provide for myself. I need a man for many other reasons,money never has been one of those reasons.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Money is not important until you do not have any!

I have been lucky as I have always been able to provide at least the basics for my family (at times it has been tight) and in recent years we have become “comfortable” but I can understand why money (or the lack of it) is the main focus for some people.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

I have always provided for myself and my children. I make a bit more than my soul mate. I have been blessed in life where money is concerned. I don't think it matters at all, we have a joint account for household expenses and each have access to the others accounts. When the household gets too low or we are going to do something that is not in Mr. SC's budget I step up. We do have an agreement that what I am coming to the marriage with (properties and investments) will always belong to my children. He will live in our home for as long as he chooses, if I pre-decease him. My children have copies of all the documents and are fine with this solution. All money I make after we are married will be joint. 

His divorce (way before I met him) was ugly and his children were still minors, so he wasn't left with anything at all. I am teaching him to be a better money manager and he is teaching me what real love, devotion and faithfulness is all about. Plus I will never have to call in a handyman or mechanic again which is an added bonus! 

This works for us, ymmv.


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

In my experience, money is more important to wives than husbands. Yep sounds sexist, but this is merely what i've observed through my friends, my dating life, my wife, etc..

Its about expectations. If a woman grew up on a really tight budget, her financial expecations would be X. if a woman grew up in an afluent household, her expectations would be Y.

personally, financial status and money means very little to me with regards to my wife's earning power or savings power. Money however does mean a lot to a relationship, because generally (not always, but common sense tells you most of the time) a healthy financial situation is just one less stresser in the marriage. Children = stress. Health = stress. Inlaws = stress. Money = stress. Take away one of these potential avenues for stress, and you instantly make the marriage atleast a tad easier on some level.


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## mxpx4182 (Jan 7, 2014)

I didn't think money was very important until I got married. My wife was supposed to graduate before we got married and start working while I finish gradschool. It didn't happen, and we ended up absolutely broke and in debt, pulling ourselves out now. Fortunately things are slowly getting better. You cannot support a marriage on minimum wage, and it is very difficult to do above that hourly. Somebody needs to be salary, which should be me next year.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

BostonBruins32 said:


> In my experience, money is more important to wives than husbands. Yep sounds sexist, but this is merely what i've observed through my friends, my dating life, my wife, etc..
> 
> Its about expectations. If a woman grew up on a really tight budget, her financial expecations would be X. if a woman grew up in an afluent household, her expectations would be Y.
> 
> personally, financial status and money means very little to me with regards to my wife's earning power or savings power. Money however does mean a lot to a relationship, because generally (not always, but common sense tells you most of the time) a healthy financial situation is just one less stresser in the marriage. Children = stress. Health = stress. Inlaws = stress. Money = stress. Take away one of these potential avenues for stress, and you instantly make the marriage atleast a tad easier on some level.


Yes, I think there are some things that are "sexist" about marriage. That does not necessarily make them untrue.

I feel so much more relaxed now that dh is making more. I don't think often about how much is in the account. It is just so much less stressful than in earlier times.

But I made a lot of my own stress, too. My expectations were high.

But maybe that was motivating for dh. And I think he enjoys having more money, too.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

My wife always wants a higher standard of living than I do. She's always one or two steps ahead of me on that. We manage to meet halfway, although there are times when I give in to things that are expensive "because of our child" -- i.e. I don't really think we need them but I also can't feel like I'm depriving our child once the subject gets brought up. 

I think I could live happily very cheaply if I were single. Sometimes it frustrates me because I see how much more money we could save. But we're ok, and I want my wife to be happy, so I compromise. Plus her parents are much better off than my parents and they help out once in a while, so I just figure "she's used to it" and "they're there if we ever get into trouble." 

I just don't have a lot of expensive tastes. I try to wear nice work clothes, but my casual clothes are always old and cheap. I like good food but I get used to eating cheap stuff really easily. I like to travel and go out, but I can easily amuse myself just walking around the city or reading a book. But ultimately you can't really complain too much about eating nicer food, or having nicer furniture in the house, it's not like I don't enjoy those things at all.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Money is only important to us if we don't have enough to live frugally and survive a crisis such as a job loss or major, mandatory expense. For a long time, we had to be very careful with money when we were both out of work after 9/11 (layoff for me, major illness for her). Finally, we're in good financial shape again, and live well within our means - lacking nothing important - with sufficient savings to survive another crisis.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

One thing I've realized is that my wife experiences little extra expenditures as "you care about me." Whereas I like the feeling of strength and independence that comes from not needing much. A silly example: I ordered and installed cellular shades for our new place, and for our bedroom I on a whim spent extra to get the "top-down, bottom-up" kind for our bedroom, so we could have light and privacy at the same time. I thought this was a little extravagant, but she LOVED it, and uses the "top down" feature all the time. 

Another example, she loves chocolate, and there's this one brand that's VERY expensive even for good chocolate, but really good. Once in a while, for no reason, I bring some home. Even a little bit makes her very happy, just that extra thing I do that says she is important, and the fact that I spend even more to get the extra-good stuff when I could get godiva or whatever which is still very good.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Money isn't huge with me but I have grown rather fond of eating and having a roof over my head. I'd hate to give either up. Money is security for me. I don't want an expensive car or a yacht but I don't want to be outdoors, eating out of dumpsters, either. If my wife disregarded by concerns and acted financially in ways that threatened my security, it would be a big problem. Luckily, she doesn't.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

For me money itself is not that important. Being generally wasteful and not planning ahead with how personal resources are used is.

I'm a person of resources not money but that does not mean I don't understand or concern myself with who our financial life sits.

My wife has clearly shown that if our finances and resources were under her control she would cash in everything we had spend what we got from it on whatever whims made her happy at the moment and then take out a huge loans and live in debt paying the minimum dues hoping to die before we ever payed them off.


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## IGSIMB (Dec 17, 2013)

Wiltshireman said:


> Money is not important until you do not have any!
> 
> I have been lucky as I have always been able to provide at least the basics for my family (at times it has been tight) and in recent years we have become “comfortable” but I can understand why money (or the lack of it) is the main focus for some people.


I agree, it is like air, not really appreciated when you have it, when you don't it get to be a problem really fast.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

In today's economy, two incomes is critical. One income, good luck on that.

My wifee wouldn't care how much we make together, as long as we are comfortable, she's happy and so am I.

I didn't marry her because of her money and she didn't marry me because of that either.

Jobs and income amounts change all the time, for better or for worse.

If you got married because you saw he will be a good provider, you married him for money and not real love. Money comes and goes, but real love you can't buy.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

One income is just fine if it is a good income and/or you don't have lots of debt.

Financial equality is important to me, much moreso than the actual amount of money. Then again it is easy to be a bit blase when money is not an issue. I have had times in my life where it was an issue and it is stressful.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

jld said:


> How important is money to your marriage? Did your spouse's ability to earn affect your decision to marry? Do you see money differently at this point in your relationship than you used to?


We met young and he wasn't earning much but there were behaviors and traits that I respected and admired. He was working at a cafe, washing dishes and clearing tables when he quickly realized that a different menu and trading times could mean an increase in revenue. The owner undertook his suggestions. Hubs essentially ran the place and turned things around. 

He was already living independently, basic means, when we started dating. Here he was, this guy at 18, inviting me over to his place so he could cook me dinner... how's a girl to resist? 

Over the years, his experiences and career achievements have represented him well. He's been successful with large corporates, despite not having a degree/higher education - and he's not a yes man, either. It's these things I dig; his behaviors - irrelevant to what he earns. I think fundamentally that's what's been important to me, along with our goals being aligned.

So yes, cooking is really important.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I came from a home where Dad & Step mom both worked, simple Jobs, he worked for a Road Department, she a cook.. no college degrees ...they owned some land and really.. they always managed to pay every bill, never in debt, vacation , I never heard them complain about money.. they were frugal... they still have the same Rider Mower that I used when I was 15 yrs old ... 

I grew up with the same mindset...I never cared how much a man made, but I cared tremendously about His work ethic (is he dependable, a good employee, resourceful, if he looses his job he'd be right back out there getting another)... can he live within his means.. 

Myself & husband never had any Great paying jobs in our lives..(though his would be considered one of the best blue collar jobs in our local area)....but we've never had problems with money, we always had a stash saved for a torrential downpour.... this gave us peace...we've never taken a loan out for anything other than our house... and pay every credit card in full (making $$ off of them).... 

We need money to sustain our lives & enjoy them...so it is important. 

For us.. I think we worried more about what Health care plan his jobs had (to cover the family) over the amount in this pay check, as if something really bad happened there, it could eat everything we've worked & saved for in a heartbeat.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> If you got married because you saw he will be a good provider, you married him for money and not real love. Money comes and goes, but real love you can't buy.


I think the decision to marry is more complex than is there money there or not. Common values, compatibility in general, are probably the base. But one aspect of that is financial.

And I think the decision to have children probably figures in, too. A couple that is planning to have children may view money and job stability differently than a couple that is not.

Different people see money differently. Whatever works for you, works.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I came from a home where Dad & Step mom both worked, simple Jobs, he worked for a Road Department, she a cook.. no college degrees ...they owned some land and really.. they always managed to pay every bill, never in debt, vacation , I never heard them complain about money.. they were frugal... they still have the same Rider Mower that I used when I was 15 yrs old ...
> 
> I grew up with the same mindset...I never cared how much a man made, but I cared tremendously about His work ethic (is he dependable, a good employee, resourceful, if he looses his job he'd be right back out there getting another)... can he live within his means..
> 
> ...


Yes. Money can be important without its being _everything._

I grew up frugal, too, and was pretty frugal during most of our marriage. I have relaxed in the last few years, and have enjoyed that. It's not that I am such a big spender, (lol if you knew me IRL), but I have a certain peace knowing that there is money available.

And I hear you on health care. It can wipe a family out. I hope that will be changing soon.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

The majority of couple come from the same social background. It is quite rare to see a rich person marrying a poor one. So money is important in a relationship. We tend to be with our financial equal.
When kids come along we want to raise them with at least the same level of life style. So yes, money is important.
If money is not important, it means we have enough.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jld said:


> *And I hear you on health care. It can wipe a family out. I hope that will be changing soon*.


 Husband stayed at the same job for 18 long yrs (started at age 16) *because of the Health care package *... he did move up to Manage a Department before we married... a few times he looked for a better job.. .found them but the health care plan was absent or lousy.. so he stayed put...

It turned out to be a blessing though....that plan had *Infertility benefits* (many do not)... which we needed at the time..I ended up with a Laparoscopy (exploratory surgery) & scheduled for an In Vitro at one point (was going to cover this minus the pergonal- at $3,000)...got pregnant right before that- talk about last minute timing!....so it wasn't all in vain.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Duguesclin said:


> The majority of couple come from the same social background. It is quite rare to see a rich person marrying a poor one. So money is important in a relationship. We tend to be with our financial equal.
> When kids come along we want to raise them with at least the same level of life style. So yes, money is important.
> If money is not important, it means we have enough.


This is true that people tend to marry within the same social background but don't you think there is more to it than socio economic class? 

What if one spouse sees money and the accumulation of it as the ultimate goal where as the other spouse sees money as not much more than a useful tool? 

In my marriage, my husband doesn't feel safe unless he has a certain % of his income stashed away and sees no problem with a home in need of repairs. As long as he is building his savings and retirement funds he can ignore leaking plumbing and a sagging roof.

We are trying to resolve our different approaches to money and it's difficult. Through out our marriage it felt like it was me adjusting expectations and it caused a lot of resentment. But once I realized if I just give him complete control over all financial decisions and wait patiently for him to decide to pay for repairs or major purchases he would eventually get there.

Both of our fathers died just before they retired. His father put everything off until retirement. No vacations, no fun stuff, everything had to go to retirement. My father, who made a lot of money, spent freely. He paid for vacations and cars and boats and club memberships...lavish weddings for his daughters, sports cars for his sons...

When my father died, my mother had to sell the boat, the house and two cars in order to afford a modest home and a very modest income. 

When my husbands father died, he left a small fortune behind. Yet no fond memories of good times having fun.

I told my husband we needed to avoid both mistakes. We need to enjoy life while we have it, yet do so with a plan to have a long life.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I am thinking more about what Cuddlebug said about what to marry for, and how people might define real love.

I do not take my relationship lightly. My marriage is the very best thing in my life. My husband truly is my rock. And when I considered his offer of a life together, I used my head as well as my heart to make a decision.

He made it very clear up front that there would be children, several, and that he wanted them raised a certain way. That takes money. It was never in dh's plan for me to work. 

It has worked out for us. We have lived on one income since our children were born. We saved my salary from pre-kids for a down payment on a house. We bought cars with cash, and only had one for 8 years.

When we had our house remodeled, we paid cash. We have borrowed money a few times, a mortgage which was paid in 4 years, and then some money for various upgrades and an apartment for dh and dd to share (dh works in the city where dd goes to college). All were paid off within a few months, thanks to wise money management and a good investment dh made a few years ago.

It is possible for some families to live on one income.

My definition of high expectations may not be yours. And I have found I need less money to be happy than I may have once thought. But I do need a certain amount. I do not want to lose sleep at night wondering if there will be enough, according to my definition of enough.

And I think it is wise to look at the overall package you are getting when you consider marriage. People spend a lot of time talking about sex on these boards, but I think money is an equally worth topic, as financial conflicts can certainly rock relationships, and not having enough money may bring on divorce, too.

And I think real love looks a lot different after 20 years and 5 children than it did when we were first starting out. YMMV.

Not that I am feeling defensive over how I decided to get married or anything.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

jld said:


> People spend a lot of time talking about sex on these boards, but I think money is an equally worth topic, as financial conflicts can certainly rock relationships, and not having enough money may bring on divorce, too.
> 
> And I think real love looks a lot different after 20 years and 5 children than it did when we were first starting out. YMMV.
> 
> Not that I am feeling defensive over how I decided to get married or anything.


I don't know about you but after an excellent roll in the hay I tend to not notice leaky plumbing for a day or so....


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I don't know about you but after an excellent roll in the hay I tend to not notice leaky plumbing for a day or so....


Lol! Yes, when there is a good feeling in the relationship, a lot can be overlooked.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Okay, not to totally hijack my own thread,  but . . .

For me, sexual attraction comes from mental attraction. Smart men, original thinkers, genuinely confident men who don't need other people to agree with them if they think something is right . . . that defend the weak when it is not to their advantage to do so, simply because it is the right thing to do . . .are really, really sexy to me. 

Men that I can genuinely respect, that have so much integrity and strength of character, that I cannot help but respect them . . . are attractive to me.

A man who can stay in the room when his wife screams at him . . . and then calm her down with his gentleness and understanding . . . that is a strong man to me. 

A man who can listen to my opinion calmly and consider it, and then rationally explain to me why he disagrees, listening and patiently and thoroughly responding to all of my objections . . . oh my gosh. 

And a man who can admit he is wrong, and ask me how I think he could do better . . . even dh can't always do that. But the attachment just gets stronger when he can be humble and listen and truly be open to change. Because I know things that he could learn from, too.

The packaging just isn't enough for me. I am not really sure how much it matters to me, all things considered. I remember going out with a guy in college who was certainly good-looking, well-built, all the things I hear are really important to a lot of women. Didn't do a thing for me. I think I left the date early. I certainly wanted to.

And good times aren't enough, either. I want to _feel good_ with the man I'm with. I want, actually I _need_ that deep connection. That is what keeps me rooted in the relationship.

Demanding, aren't I?

Just wanted to share this because I think there are other women who see this like I do, and it's good to get a minority opinion out there once in a while.

Okay, back to talking about money.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I grew up with the same mindset...I never cared how much a man made, but *I cared tremendously about His work ethic* (is he dependable, a good employee, resourceful, if he looses his job he'd be right back out there getting another)... can he live within his means..


Mark your calendar, SA--this might be the first thing we ever agreed on!


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## Mr.D.E.B.T. (Jul 19, 2012)

Money has not been as important as financial compatibility in my marriage. My wife and I have very compatible ideals from a financial perspective. We both have what I call a managerial money personality with a touch of building ambitions. In short, we like to keep a good record of our financial endeavors and like to work towards building our net-worth. If you are not compatible with your spouse, there is hope. We all have the ability to change with a lot of work.


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

How important is money to your marriage? Did your spouse's ability to earn affect your decision to marry? Do you see money differently at this point in your relationship than you used to? 

Very important i guess, there are always bills to be paid for.
I always wanted a spouse that would earn money, not just sit around and do dish and spend "my" money.

Having been married to a wife who works 50+ hours a week and more money than i usually know what to do with i wish i had a wife that would not work, help out around the house and actually be in a good mood when i got home, instead of me getting home and then having her come home several hours later and be in a terrible mood. Funny how priorities change.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I still find it hard to grasp just how expensive medical cover / treatment is in the US.

Having a disable child I thank God for the NHS every week when I pick up his meds.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

Not very - but it would be nice to have more (because then we could have our own home). Important thing is not to fall out over it.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I didn't think much about money when accept my H's proposal. Really I had only been working for 2 years and most of my money went to clothes, shoes, clothes, shoes and more clothes, shoes. But building a nest egg was EXTREMELY important to my H. He was/is willing to sacrifice and do without some things to have it, as well as to expending a lot of time to save money. He can do most repairs to our house and cars himself and he will pour over books for hours if he has to do something he hasn't done before. For the first 3 years of our life we lived like we were making well below the poverty line. To say the least our provisions and home life were dismal, although we were very happy together. 

After we purchased our dump and fixed it up, we began to not be as rigid. A couple of years after that when it seem we couldn't have children, we begn to spend their college fund (yes, we started an account before we had any kid). Both of us worked our butts off taking every opportunity for overtime that came our way and every opprotunity to make money on the side (he is very handy, I would keep any body's anytime). So he build quite the nest egg even though neither one of us is college educated. Now that I am a SAHM, money (or rather, the wise spending of it) has become important to me too. I can't believe it but I'm becoming him. Since I am still not sure where I'm going to end up in the size clothes I wear after having a baby, losing weight, not quite all of it, but I have only bought about 4 or 5 pieces of clothing for the size I am now. He actually bought me some clothes for Christmas because of it and I took some of them back! SO yes, I really am becoming him. LOL! Except if we really can't get pregnant again as the dr has said, I will be replinish my whole wardrobe. LOL!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

You'll appreciate what you are doing even more in the future, committed. Those good habits really pay off.


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## soulpotato (Jan 22, 2013)

Money isn't important until you're paying for the rent/mortgage and utilities with your own money and waiting 1-2 months for your SO to give you her half. Kind of rankles, especially when he/she has a higher salary!


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## Microwavelove (Sep 11, 2013)

Money is probably more important than I wish it were. I don't feel like we need to be wealthy, but being able to comfortably afford the basics-- a home in a safe area, education, healthcare-- save for the future, and yes, enjoy some fun activities, without accruing a lot of debt all add to the quality of life in my opinion. I think even more important than the actual amount of money though is that we have similar attitudes on what the money is supposed to do for us in the long run.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> Money is probably more important than I wish it were. I don't feel like we need to be wealthy, but being able to comfortably afford the basics



Similar outlook here as well. I have never put a huge amount of thought or concern into having a huge bank account but I know the importance of having something to fall back on when bad thing happen and they do happen. 

I understand and respect the fact of how much work it take to make a decent living wage so I put forth an active effort to manage things more responsibly. 

My wife however seems to have adopted a view that money means nothing and we/I can always get more so why should she bother concerning herself with where and how she spends it. 

That near polar opposite view is what I have the hardest time dealing with. She wants things but does not want to do the work and proper planing to get them which feels very disrespectful to me too much of the time.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

When you bring kids into the picture, I think a lot changes. My H married me thinking I would always work. I married him because he always had a steady job. He never made big $, but I thought it would be enough to live on.

Fast forward and we have private school to pay for, two funerals in two years, having to help my father financially, and some time of unemployment. Finances went from good to shaky.

We are now faced with the fact that I must work, but unfortunately that means I can't get the help my child need (DS5 needs occupational therapy) nor can I get counseling. If I work, we can afford these things but then I don't have the time since I'm at work. It's a catch-22 that is very frustrating! 

If my H would make more $, things would be so much better. But I think he's hit his max earning potential and it's up to me to fill in the rest.


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## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

Money is only important in that bills need to be paid. My wife and I combine to make less than the majority of posters here. We maintain a low standard of living. We have had hard times and good times. We do what must be done, and at the end of the bills, we still have money left.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> Money is not important until you do not have any!


:iagree:

I have never been a materialistic person, so I never put a high value on money, but when money is tight it becomes a bigger issue. My husband and I both worked very hard to earn our bachelor's degrees, but right now, neither of us have been able to use them. My husband feels "stuck" at his job and hasn't been able to move up or find a new one. I work opposite shifts from him(evenings - him during the day - to avoid paying childcare costs) and don't get paid a whole lot. It's stressful. Money wasn't important before, but it has become an important issue now.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Being on the same page is what's important. You can both be frugal or you can both be spendthrifts, but having opposite ideas about money is always a problem. The exception is if you have so much of it that you never really experience a shortage. Not that I'd know what that feels like.


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## KI0159 (Apr 19, 2011)

I would say money is important but everybody's standard of living is different I guess.

H and I met when we were in high school and have been together ever since (14 years). So us being together was definitelt nothing to do with money.

We both work full time (dont have a family yet). H earns probably double what I do but its really important to me that I make a fair contribution to the bills/ holidays etc.

I like to think we're quite wise with our money. We have treats and holiday but we also tried to put as much away as we can.

We dont have a family yet so it doesnt make sense that I shouldnt work. We have discussed me going part time if and when we have a family, I dont think I could not work at all as I would feel really guilty toward my husband.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Hi, K10159. I hear you. I worked before our kids were born. That money became our down payment on our house. Keep saving!

I just can't make as much money as dh. There is no point. It is just better for me to be home with the kids, and to give us all a higher quality of life.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

I've worked since I was 11 years old. Had a paper route, not child labor! lol That's 44 straight years of working, with a short time of unemployment while Reaganomics was taking its sweet time to trickle down to me. 

Most of the time I've been married, the wife has not been employed. The only time I was OK with that is the current W, who I didn't want to have to work. I make good money so we have plenty to live on. That said, we've both been dirt poor in our lives so we don't drive new cars, have all the latest gadgets and so on. 

Fifteen years ago, and fewer, I was possessed by my possessions. Once I realized that, life changed because my attitude towards material things changed. I can have them, but do I want them? 

The only things I want right now are attachments for the KitchenAid and a new bicycle for W.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

What changed with the current wife, dt? That you did not want her to work, I mean.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Quite frankly I couldn't care less what a woman earns. I would be more concerned of the availability of her time.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Sun Catcher said:


> We do have an agreement that what I am coming to the marriage with (properties and investments) will always belong to my children. He will live in our home for as long as he chooses, if I pre-decease him. My children have copies of all the documents and are fine with this solution. All money I make after we are married will be joint.


I love that you've set this boundary for the benefits of your kids and that your H is fine with this.

I have a home, savings and investments, and insurance; almost all of whatever is left will go to my daughter when I pass. I truly feel this is the right way to do it, just as my father has done for his children. But, knowing that money is very important to some folks, I wonder how much my stand on finances will affect any future relationship I have.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Microwavelove said:


> Money is probably more important than I wish it were. I don't feel like we need to be wealthy, but being able to comfortably afford the basics-- a home in a safe area, education, healthcare-- save for the future, and yes, enjoy some fun activities, without accruing a lot of debt all add to the quality of life in my opinion. I think even more important than the actual amount of money though is that we have similar attitudes on what the money is supposed to do for us in the long run.


All that is totally fair and appropriate. Even if you're not homeless, it's kinda hard to enjoy life when you don't feel safe where you live or have to struggle to eat, go to the doctor, etc.

Unfortunately, most people cannot provide all that for a family. Given the gap between what the average person earns and what it takes to live that kind of life, money always will be important.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

DTO said:


> I love that you've set this boundary for the benefits of your kids and that your H is fine with this.
> 
> I have a home, savings and investments, and insurance; almost all of whatever is left will go to my daughter when I pass. I truly feel this is the right way to do it, just as my father has done for his children. But, knowing that money is very important to some folks, I wonder how much my stand on finances will affect any future relationship I have.


Of course he is fine with it and anyone you meet and want to share life with should be, too. If they are not then I would wonder what they are in for. If you meet someone who thinks money is so important then I would expect she is bringing plenty of her own, if not then just how come YOUR money is important? 

I come from a background where I always supported myself, I've never not worked, well except for the last 6 years I was retired . Might be different for women who have always depended on men for their support. I envy those that were able to be SAHM's but no reason they should continue to do so when the kids no longer need a full time mom. Heck, I had to do volunteer work while retired as I just couldn't sit at home. Not finding fault with others that choose that life, I just would not be comfortable. 

We will be co-mingling our assets and any investments accrued from now on and those will belong to both of us and be passed on to the surviving spouse, and then that portion will be divided between all of our children on an equal basis. We could not be any fairer than that. 

I hope you find a wonderful woman you can share your life with, who doesn't want to possess all you own and what rightfully belongs to your offspring.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

I'd say money is very important in my marriage. I think my wife can pretty much handle anything except financial uncertainty. She was a wreck when I was getting my business off the ground. It was the most difficult time of our marriage. When finances are fine she is genuinely worry free.


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Sun Catcher said:


> Of course he is fine with it and anyone you meet and want to share life with should be, too. If they are not then I would wonder what they are in for. If you meet someone who thinks money is so important then I would expect she is bringing plenty of her own, if not then just how come YOUR money is important?
> 
> I come from a background where I always supported myself, I've never not worked, well except for the last 6 years I was retired . Might be different for women who have always depended on men for their support. I envy those that were able to be SAHM's but no reason they should continue to do so when the kids no longer need a full time mom. Heck, I had to do volunteer work while retired as I just couldn't sit at home. Not finding fault with others that choose that life, I just would not be comfortable.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your perspective. I should clarify that I am firm in my stand and I am not "worried" - I will end a relationship rather than change my stance. I should have said that I think this stand might make it tougher to find that special someone and to keep a relationship going.

I'm not concerned about somebody making a blatant money play. But, I do forsee potential issues if, say, a future partner wants to not live in a house I shared with my ex. The discussion about arranging finances comes up, and I say we need to save for a down payment together, because the house I already own with a big chunk of equity is not going anywhere.

I'm recognizing that what sometimes seems agreeable in concept becomes less so when it dictates action; I don't know how to explain it better than that. I'm also recognizing this might look like I'm not fully committed to the relationship. Just things I'll have to deal with when the time comes.


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## MelissaNV (Feb 18, 2014)

Money is one of the biggest factors in divorce, so of course it is an important factor in marriage. It's best not to worry about things you cannot control. However we all can make decisions and take actions as to the amount of income we make. Many couples forget how easy it is to save money also. Money is important in marriage but it's not the most important thing.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> *Quite frankly I couldn't care less what a woman earns. I would be more concerned of the availability of her time*.


 I could easily see my husband saying this comment... just read this to him... Yep..how he feels too.  Hope you are doing OK Random Dude!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well, tis true  hehe

I'm doing ok, being kept busy!


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

I was too young I guess to really think about that when we first met, the whole "love is enough" type deal. He made an average amount at first, and now in recent years makes quite a bit more money. I mean, I am very grateful he can provide, but at the same time I almost wonder if the money is part of the reason he has changed. He is very materialistic and can blow his money on a new toy without any consequences and it doesn't really affect the rest of the finances. I'd sure prefer living in a cardboard box if he treated me right.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think money can only enhance a relationship, Adeline. It cannot replace it.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Money, no. Security, yes. In - Out = Savings. Win.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Adeline said:


> I was too young I guess to really think about that when we first met, the whole "love is enough" type deal. He made an average amount at first, and now in recent years makes quite a bit more money. I mean, I am very grateful he can provide, but at the same time I almost wonder if the money is part of the reason he has changed. He is very materialistic and can blow his money on a new toy without any consequences and it doesn't really affect the rest of the finances. I'd sure prefer living in a cardboard box if he treated me right.


Maybe it's not the money that changed him but what he had to do for it.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS IMO 

This is coming from someone who used to street corner preach to people. 

I've lived with nothing robbing Peter to pay Paul and also have lived buying 100k sports cars and I've never found in my life where more money didn't make me happier.

Why? Because things cost money!! Can I just travel to Europe anytime I want? Nope. What about pay all of kids college at a drop of a hat? Nope. What about have a vacation home for winter? Nope.

Trust me if I could I would be happier!! The people that say money doesn't make you happier either weren't happy before or they've never had it.

Maybe the key is being happy first  then money is like gas on a fire!!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> *MONEY BUYS HAPPINESS IMO
> *
> This is coming from someone who used to street corner preach to people.
> 
> ...


IME it doesn't necessarily buy you happiness unless you are a happy, satisfied, greatful person anyway.
What money does for me is give me freedom and options and that makes me happy. I am not a big spender, buying "stuff" does not make me happy but being able to afford a fun lifestyle certainly makes me happy.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Holland said:


> IME it doesn't necessarily buy you happiness unless you are a happy, satisfied, greatful person anyway.
> What money does for me is give me freedom and options and that makes me happy. I am not a big spender, buying "stuff" does not make me happy but being able to afford a fun lifestyle certainly makes me happy.


Agreed  and that's what I said in my last sentence........happy first money just makes it better. 

If you are a miserable curmudgeon then you are s.o.l.


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## Tess112 (Mar 9, 2014)

Call me old fashioned, but I think a mans ability to provide for his wife & child(ren) is very important. There is a part of me that is drawn to my fiance because of his ability to provide a good lifestyle for us (me, him and our child). Would I leave him if he suddenly wasn't able to produce the sort of income he currently does? No - we would downsize and if needed I would search for employment to help. 

I think you can have happy a marriage without having lots of money, but having a little extra money on hand certainly isn't bad.


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## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Money is important in our marriage, but it certainly not the main consideration. We will always be renters because houses are too expensive where we live and it isn't practical for us to move. I hate this, but I would never leave my husband over not being able to buy property. 

My husband makes a lot more than I do, so he pays for most of the expenses. I am glad to be able to work part time and not have to worry about bills. My husband and I were both raised to believe that husbands should be breadwinners, while wives should still work to contribute. I enjoy having enough cash to treat my husband to dates and gifts because he spoils me.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Money is important to both DH and I. It's not important for what it is as such, but for what we require of it. Therefore, mostly because we have children, financial security, managing debt, saving etc is important to us as we both want to provide well for our dependants. Not being able to afford for them to have basic quality of life is not an option. Ending up in huge debt and having our home repossessed would be what I'd consider as not meeting our obligations to provide for our children. Therefore, we don't spend what we don't have, and we budget and plan. We have lived on a very tight budget in the past due to only having one low income, and I'd prefer not to have to watch every dollar so closely. A little leeway is nice.


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## Redpill (Mar 20, 2014)

Tess112 said:


> Call me old fashioned, but I think a mans ability to provide for his wife & child(ren) is very important.


What about female empowerment sister? What about that gender equality? Aren't you a strong independent female who can take care of herself? Why do you need a man for that? That thinking is so 1950's.

I wish my wife would provide for me while I sit home and watch soap operas or go to Yoga class. Must be nice to live the life of luxury while the man works his ass off everyday. 

Anyway, back on topic. I think money is important. Having a little bit of disposable income certainly reduces stress in a relationship.


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## StayInIt (Jul 27, 2012)

Money is a huge issue for us. I grew up pretty poor and it freaks me out not to have our budget minded. He grew up with 4 incomes and doesn't value saving. Currently, I am getting ready to head out to LA to start working again after staying home with my baby girl. I can't wait to fully support myself and my daughter- I think working again will greatly improve my marriage. He can do what he likes with his money and we won't have that tension anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 9rainbows (Apr 15, 2014)

I believe money is important to the person who is paying the bills. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly and have to figure out how to make the budget work. However, if there are one or two incomes and both are not living beyond their means and both have the same goals about money, then it's not an issue. It's where the other has a different perspective and value on money that becomes the issue. For me, I just want to live comfortably, knowing that I have an emergency fund and that I have a retirement fund to draw from. Just security in case emergencies occur.

I just wish my husband and I have the same views on money. I'm conservative and try to pay down debts and build a nest egg. He's live in the moment and has the motto of "if you die, you can't take it with you. So, you have to get what you want too. In America, every body has debts and you will never pay it all off". I wish we can find common ground on this.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

9rainbows said:


> I believe money is important to the person who is paying the bills. They see the good, the bad, and the ugly and have to figure out how to make the budget work. However, if there are one or two incomes and both are not living beyond their means and both have the same goals about money, then it's not an issue. It's where the other has a different perspective and value on money that becomes the issue. For me, I just want to live comfortably, knowing that I have an emergency fund and that I have a retirement fund to draw from. Just security in case emergencies occur.
> 
> I just wish my husband and I have the same views on money. I'm conservative and try to pay down debts and build a nest egg. He's live in the moment and has the motto of "if you die, you can't take it with you. So, you have to get what you want too. In America, every body has debts and you will never pay it all off". I wish we can find common ground on this.


I'm more like your husband. But since I'm a SAHM we pretty much live by his fiscal conservatism, which is working well. But those electric blue shoes I tried on at Needless Markup sure did look good on my feet!


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## onedge (Nov 27, 2013)

Yes money does have it's importance in a relationship but it needs to have it's priority after each other. My first husband and I struggle immensely with having enough to pay the bills. It was a huge problem between us and we divorced.

I told myself if I ever remarry I don't want that kind of stress in my relationship. In fact, I had a whole list of what I wanted in a husband (pretty much the opposite of what the ex was). I had a lot of fun dating guys who didn't fit my criteria but knew that it wasn't going to be any long term thing. 

When I met my now hubby, he fit my whole criteria but I wasn't feeling a lot of chemistry. I actually was re evaluating my whole list in my head but I said no those things are important to me. I am glad I stuck to my guns because the chemistry did come later and he is the best decision I have made. He has been a good provider to the best of his ability and I appreciate it. Every so often, I tell him thank you for going to work every single day even on those days he would love to stay at home. We have had times of financial hell that we pulled through working together and never had one single argument over money in 17 years.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

onedge said:


> When I met my now hubby, he fit my whole criteria but I wasn't feeling a lot of chemistry.
> 
> I am glad I stuck to my guns because the chemistry did come later and he is the best decision I have made. He has been a good provider to the best of his ability and I appreciate it.


:iagree:

I was not head over heels for dh, either. I just had this strong sense of trust in him. He was just such a solid man. And I think that still draws me to him.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Money was not that important in our younger years, but has become increasingly more important as we have aged and need to pay for college and save for retirement. It's scary thinking about not having enough money to retire, so we have worked hard to hopefully be secure when we do reach retirement age. I wish now that we had made a saving money more of a priority when we were younger.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I will never marry someone without a similar view on finances or who, if not, at least lets me manage the money.

Ex was always caught up in the next get rich quick scheme. He held a number of jobs (he would quickly quit because his boss was an "idiot") before he finally found his niche working for himself but that had issues, too. If money was short he would just not pay quarterly taxes/SS/worker's comp. I let him handle the money because his fluctuated more as I was usually steadily employed. He was very impractical but could argue anything. I thought we were getting ahead when we bought our first house on a lease option. But then he found a foreclosre that was a great deal resulting in 57K of instant equity. We couldn't afford two house payments and had zero savings "but it was such a good deal!" that we rented our current home and moved. He bought a used Mercedes at a huge interest rate because "to be successful he had to look successful". Then he spontaneously bought a boat because "all work/no play" made him unhappy. Well we had nothing to tow it with so he had to lease a new SUV. 

Had a baby, and he didn't want me to work - saw daycares as "institutions". Got rid of one car to help offset not having my income. No savings still, no health insurance. Finally I insisted on going back to work for health benefits (and sanity). Plus I was very unhappy in my marriage, our financial situation was dire - he was paying credit cards with other credit cards and the big house went into foreclosure. The equity line of credit was already tapped. We moved back into the first house we had rented (their lease was up) and was much less expensive but in a year I'd had enough. When I left he stopped paying the mortgage but I didn't know it until 9 months later when he said he was forced to move out because I'd stuck him with the house. Plus due to not paying his quarterly taxes there was a huge tax lien causing the IRS to seize my savings and garnish my wages because he was self employed and they couldn't garnish his. Finally in our settlement he paid it/paid me back which I'm sure I can thank my MIL for.

Fast forward - I have a solid career and stable income, I have a 401K with a good chunk in it already, I own my own home (well, the bank does!) after MUCH diligent credit repair work and now have a credit score in the "very good" range. I never have to pay a credit card with another although I have a few, mostly for emergencies. I have one card with a balance that utilizes about 10% of my available credit, if that. 

I worked HARD to get out of that hole and I will NEVER be put in a position like that again, with such an uncertain future and living month to month. There can always be unforseen circumstances but I do NOT want to be house poor or have new cars if I can't afford what I currently have. Our biggest issue was being overextended. So any guy I combine income with must have similar financial views or we'll keep separate finances.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Very good work, EW.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

For me, not such a big deal. I can, and have, been happy with very little. For my wife, it makes or breaks our entire relationship. It's a security thing for her, although she really focuses on it too much, IMO.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MSP said:


> For me, not such a big deal. I can, and have, been happy with very little. For my wife, it makes or breaks our entire relationship. It's a security thing for her, although she really focuses on it too much, IMO.


Yeah I think my dh would say that, too.

I can relate to your wife. I have had the money shakes many times.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

1. God and Faith
2. Love for each other
3. Family (greater family, kids, Mom and Dad, brothers and Sisters).
4. Our work, Vocations. We are dedicated and passionate about our work.
5. Health. You can have a billion dollars, but if your not healthy, it doesn't mean a thing. You'd trade that billion for health and have nothing
6. Friends
7. Money

I think my wife would agree with this.

She always says about money; "honey as long as we have each other, we'll work it out".


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Well, love doesn't make money appear. Love doesn't solve all of the problems. I'd rather money not be one of them.

Once basic needs are met, money isn't as important but lack of money is a huge stressor and can affect love, family, friends and health. 

Rich people aren't any happier once a certain threshhold is met, but that baseline is pretty important. As long as I'm not stressed out because the basics aren't covered, then I can enjoy life more.


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## CaitieB (Apr 14, 2014)

I didn't think it was important until our incomes became very imbalanced and he wants to spend, spend, spend and I'd like to save a little and then spend a little.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

CaitieB said:


> I didn't think it was important until our incomes became very imbalanced and he wants to spend, spend, spend and I'd like to save a little and then spend a little.


That must be so hard, because how can you really stop a spouse from spending? 

They have access to the money. It is not like you can legally keep them from it.


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## CaitieB (Apr 14, 2014)

It's why we were headed towards split finances.

E.g., you contribute a percentage to the household expenses based on percentage of earnings.

I'm tired of being broke.


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## 9rainbows (Apr 15, 2014)

What do you put priority on when it comes to money/finances vs human wants when wife is breadwinner and husband is not working?

For example, I'm always about taking care of bills first and sacrificing my wants and his wants. As long as I can take care of basic needs, I'm good. If there's extra money, then he or I can spend it to treat ourselves or get something that we've been wanting for a while. My priority is paying bills first and making sure needs are met before wants. Then, saving up to buy a house and replacing my old car, which means sacrificing a little longer for other wants (shoes, tv, clothes, electronics, etc).

My husband is not a big spender but when he does spend, it's somewhat expensive (truck, computer hardware, going out, hunting gear, etc) though it does serve it's own purpose for us both sometimes. So, his priority is about making sure our personal wants are taken care of besides our needs. He says, what's the point of working hard if we can't enjoy it too. 

So, what is your priority, money/finances first and then human wants or vice versa?

If you don't view money/finances as a priority, please give me advice on how you and your spouse or significant other deal with this situation? I'm trying to compromise my views to his so that we can have harmony. How do you satisfy wants and also be able to save to buy a house or other pricier things? Do you live within your means and are happy or live beyond your means and are happy as long as you both have each other and will not let money/finances become an issue?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

9rainbows said:


> What do you put priority on when it comes to money/finances vs human wants when wife is breadwinner and husband is not working?
> 
> For example, I'm always about taking care of bills first and sacrificing my wants and his wants. As long as I can take care of basic needs, I'm good. If there's extra money, then he or I can spend it to treat ourselves or get something that we've been wanting for a while. My priority is paying bills first and making sure needs are met before wants. Then, saving up to buy a house and replacing my old car, which means sacrificing a little longer for other wants (shoes, tv, clothes, electronics, etc).
> 
> ...


obviously money IS important. In the next life, we may not need money, but in this life we DO!!!

It's a question of priorities. That what this thread is all about (i thought).

To some people money and lifestyle is more important than to others. We all need basic necessities. anyone who says $ is not important is lying or in La La land.

But for me and my wife, we only need the basic necessities to be happy. rent, food, utilities, a little extra, not much.

that is what I am saying, but others are different.

I posted my priority list. post your own, and see where you are.
no matter what, doesn't make you bad or good, just who you are.

As far as your husband not working, if he is not bringing in income, then he should be living as such with ONLY bare necessities until he starts bringing in $. 

My 2 cents (maybe 1.1/2)


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## 9rainbows (Apr 15, 2014)

I agree if he doesn't bring in $, then he should just live as such. But, that's not how he sees it. So, how do I make him see it as such without argument or how do I express it without him blowing up on me?


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## nikoled (Mar 12, 2014)

Money is a HUGE issue in our marriage. Mostly because my husband has been somewhat "Failure to thrive" in that area. He was valedictorian in high school, did well in college, but has had it rough in his career. He is self employed so money has always been an issue- inconsistent, never enough, not dependable, etc. Stressful! BUT I am hopeful that it will get better. He is working on himself these days after a major screw up. For a long time he thought that if he made more money our lives would be perfect. Well, we have discovered there were all kinds of other "imperfections" we need to deal with too. Probably good to know


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

9rainbows said:


> I agree if he doesn't bring in $, then he should just live as such. But, that's not how he sees it. So, how do I make him see it as such without argument or how do I express it without him blowing up on me?


I really feel for you, 9rainbows. I could not be married to a man who did not handle money in a way I felt comfortable with. We are both savers here, no big hobbies. I could not enjoy spending money if the basics were not covered.

I think the only thing you could do is sit down with financial documents in front of you and explain how it is to your dh. Tell him your financial goals and see how he reacts. Then decide where to go from there.

Someone here talked once about "financial infidelity." It can break a marriage, too.

It can be hard when people don't get their financial ideas aligned before marriage. After marriage, it can be a lot trickier!


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## Happyfamily (Apr 15, 2014)

It is more important to plan and manage carefully than it is to make a lot of money. The instant you are behind on debt you are in a crisis. It is incredible to us how much debt people take on. They are making a lot of money so they buy a huge house, new cars, etc. and they have all the same stresses that a minimum wage worker has trying to pay their bills every month.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

For me this has been a constant problem. I came from a lower income background and when I went to college, I was the first in my family to do so. This came with a lot of jealous attacks from relatives. My wife is from a wealthy family and they constantly knocked me for not being rich. This was tough because I always thought I was doing good and was a fighter because no one on my side had made it as far as I had. As in my other posts, my wife created a situation where I was fired and we lost our house. Her side, of course, blamed me. Since then it's been a rough road back through bankruptcy (twice) and numerous layoffs. Because of her, I have always thought of myself as poor and not worthy and this has really hurt. 

I'll never be like her millionaire relatives and nor do I want to be. I gotten to where I am because of hard work. We've always had food on the table and a roof over our head but my wife always is there to make sure I remember how much I made the family suffer because I came from the wrong side of the tracks and I'm poor. This has basically killed our marriage.


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

My wife would be 100% gone if our funds were reduced even by 30% or so. Unfortunately I dont think she loves me enough to deal with "average or below average" earnings.

Money means very little to me in terms of my spouse's earnings. My own drive and pride create a relatively high value on earning a healthy livnig myself. I don't find it acceptable to earn less than my full potential.

So to summarize, money is important in my marriage, but for very different reasons between my spouse and i.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

BostonBruins32 said:


> *My wife would be 100% gone if our funds were reduced even by 30% or so. * Unfortunately I dont think she loves me enough to deal with "average or below average" earnings.
> 
> Money means very little to me in terms of my spouse's earnings. My own drive and pride create a relatively high value on earning a healthy livnig myself. I don't find it acceptable to earn less than my full potential.
> 
> So to summarize, money is important in my marriage, but for very different reasons between my spouse and i.




WTF


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> WTF


exactly.


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

Just offering my opinion.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

BostonBruins32 said:


> Its about expectations. If a woman grew up on a really tight budget, her financial expecations would be X. if a woman grew up in an afluent household, her expectations would be Y.
> 
> personally, financial status and money means very little to me with regards to my wife's earning power or savings power. Money however does mean a lot to a relationship, because generally (not always, but common sense tells you most of the time) a healthy financial situation is just one less stresser in the marriage. Children = stress. Health = stress. Inlaws = stress. Money = stress. Take away one of these potential avenues for stress, and you instantly make the marriage atleast a tad easier on some level.


I agree in part to what you said, a woman's expectations are those that come from how she grew up. If she comes from a rich family...you have my condolences. 

Money means EVERYTHING to a relationship. If you have less than what she wants to spend (and you will never have that much money) then you will have problems. Even if the reason you don't have much is her fault, it's still the man's problem. Women who are willing to help out in family finances are rare. In my experience, women want to spend and not earn.


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## Phil Landers (Apr 26, 2014)

You little gold digger. You only married him for his money because he was a good provider. You should marry for love.


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