# In no hurry to divorce...



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

When the OM/OW asks the WS why haven't you filed for divorce and the WS tells them "I'm in no hurry" what does that mean? How do you interpret that?


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

Cake eater...


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

The WS doesn't want to marry or get any more serious about the ow/om. Its the perfect excuse to avoid talking about it. The way I see it is if they were shady enough to cheat on their spouse what makes the ow/om think the cheater will be honest with them? Spouses who cheat are very self centered - its all about what's best for THEM!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

For me , 1 - it's way more hassle than I could bare right now but two , I just think it's a mistake to rush into divorce.

Me I'll give it 2yrs I reckon - unless X has other ideas. But if so, then she really is done so whatever at that stage I guess.


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## mrtickle (Jan 29, 2013)

I suppose it depends very much on the situation and the beliefs of the people involved, but legally divorce is just a process. As long as finances are resolved and the couple are separated, the only time they will actually 'need' a divorce is if either of them want to re-marry. 

If that is not something on the immediate horizon, then there could be better places to spend money than on lawyers running a paper-process.

Not sure about anywhere else, but in the UK there needs to be a reason for divorce stipulated - either 'Unreasonable Behaviour' or 'Adultery'. However after 2yrs of separation no reason needs to be given. That could make it easier for some too.

So unless there is a re-marriage on the cards imminently, there could very well be 'no rush' to divorce.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

mrtickle said:


> I suppose it depends very much on the situation and the beliefs of the people involved, but legally divorce is just a process. As long as finances are resolved and the couple are separated, the only time they will actually 'need' a divorce is if either of them want to re-marry.
> 
> If that is not something on the immediate horizon, then there could be better places to spend money than on lawyers running a paper-process.
> 
> ...


Yeah l agree mr T - like that one.

Actually wouldn't surprise me at all though if X turns round wanting to remarry any time from here .
But if so , she can do the damn paperwork and pay for it too.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> For me , 1 - it's way more hassle than I could bare right now but two , I just think it's a mistake to rush into divorce.
> 
> Me I'll give it 2yrs I reckon - unless X has other ideas. But if so, then she really is done so whatever at that stage I guess.


But you're not the unfaithful spouse are you? I was asking about then the cheater says this to his/her new squeeze.

The faithful one left behind is in a different mindset. Most of us have hope and don't rush to divorce, because most of the betrayed spouses want to make it work, or at least try.

But when a cheater starts to date and tells his new OM/OW this... that was my question.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It means, "I like effing you, but not enough to commit to you. I'm married, I'll try to work that out later once I'm done banging you...or i'll find someone else to bang...but divorce is expensive and I'm not living in any sort of reality...so I'm in no hurry."

But I'm not the cheater  Sorry.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It could mean that the cheater doesn't want to be tied down to the OW/OM or anyone else. Keeping his/her options open. Some think they will enjoy themselves for awhile and then reconcile because they feel their spouse will allow that. Many do. 

No one ever truly knows what's going on in a cheater's mind.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It means the OM/OW is a diversion, a piece of tail, a little fun. They aren't going to unseat the married spouse.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

LdyVenus said:


> Cake eater...


yup...and open to the possibility of getting back with the EX.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

that_girl said:


> It means, "I like effing you, but not enough to commit to you. I'm married, I'll try to work that out later once I'm done banging you...or i'll find someone else to bang...but divorce is expensive and I'm not living in any sort of reality...so I'm in no hurry."
> 
> But I'm not the cheater  Sorry.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

This is awesome, thanks for the laugh! I needed it!


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Openminded said:


> It could mean that the cheater doesn't want to be tied down to the OW/OM or anyone else. Keeping his/her options open. Some think they will enjoy themselves for awhile and then reconcile because they feel their spouse will allow that. Many do.
> 
> *No one ever truly knows what's going on in a cheater's mind.*


BINGO

You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what they mean by anything they say....they don't even know what they mean most of the time...


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

that_girl said:


> It means, "I like effing you, but not enough to commit to you. I'm married, I'll try to work that out later once I'm done banging you...or i'll find someone else to bang...but divorce is expensive and I'm not living in any sort of reality...so I'm in no hurry."
> 
> But I'm not the cheater  Sorry.


Yep this just about sums it up. If someone told me "I'm in no hurry to divorce" it would be red flag big time and I'd bail.

My ex fed this line to the skank he got pregnant. He fed it to her 2 wks before she got pregnant  and the day before he told her he didn't want a relationship (ie: I'm just banging you)

Who buys this crapola? Who is desperate enough to stay with someone who is clearly not interested in anything beyond sex?

Of course the entire time he was banging her he was also asking me to reconcile. Taking me on dates, sweet words, buying me gifts - the whole woo thing going on.

Options open! Not anymore. I filed


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The people who stay in that crap are the people who think they are special enough to change them. Special enough to make him leave his wife.

Jokes on her.

Not on your though. WHY?? Because despite the fact that your husband was a DOUCHE, it was not YOUR FAULT and your life is probably no worse without him in it...in fact, it can only get better. He lost HIS FAMILY and she got his kid. .....without commitment.

I'd rather be in your shoes.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

that_girl said:


> The people who stay in that crap are the people who think they are special enough to change them. Special enough to make him leave his wife.
> 
> Jokes on her.
> 
> ...


Oh yeah I'm glad I'm in my shoes.

I'm walking away free and clear - getting PAID child and spousal support, not paying it to some skank for the next 18 years. 

He has lost everything and her plan backfired because he left anyway. She told him she was out to destroy his family so he would have no choice but to be with her. He declined her offer.

Anyway I'm glad I'm the one coming out of this much better off than him. He can live with what he's done. I don't have to.

I was just wondering who would be dumb enough to fall for the "I'm in no hurry to divorce". I'd run fast, he's obviously not looking to leave his wife and kids, just out for some fun.

Glad I'm not that desperate, or worse, desperate for a man who doesn't even want me long term.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> It means, "I like effing you, but not enough to commit to you. I'm married, I'll try to work that out later once I'm done banging you...or i'll find someone else to bang...but divorce is expensive and I'm not living in any sort of reality...so I'm in no hurry."
> 
> But I'm not the cheater  Sorry.



Summed up very effing nicely


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Openminded said:


> It could mean that the cheater doesn't want to be tied down to the OW/OM or anyone else. Keeping his/her options open. Some think they will enjoy themselves for awhile and then reconcile because they feel their spouse will allow that. Many do.
> 
> No one ever truly knows what's going on in a cheater's mind.


You ain't wrong there !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> Yep this just about sums it up. If someone told me "I'm in no hurry to divorce" it would be red flag big time and I'd bail.
> 
> My ex fed this line to the skank he got pregnant. He fed it to her 2 wks before she got pregnant  and the day before he told her he didn't want a relationship (ie: I'm just banging you)
> 
> ...


So if you meet someone now , that's only 6 mths separated after 18yrs , add to that what you have been through yourself in all this and add to that your gonna need time yourself anyway , add to that neither of you will even know what you have for at least another year or two anyway - your still going to be jumping up and down that they should rush out right now , and get that divorce.

It'll come round soon enough and you'll be seeing signs of trouble if there is any anyway so none of it matters so early on.

Hopefully you or I , will not be the OM or OW in our next one .
That's our cheating x's and nope , l wouldn't believe a word somebody that left a marriage to supposedly be with you said either .

Hope this makes sense


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