# Via Text?



## keepittogether (Jun 8, 2018)

If you have been following my threads you know my D and I cannot talk - he has anger issues and is coming unglued. He sent me a text this morning from work telling me that we should "write out our issues" since we can't talk. I have a feeling he might have seen or talked to a lawyer at his place of business so I am not sure I want to put anything in writing. I told him no more letters. He flat out asked me if it was over.

ADVICE: Should I just say yes? Will this cause him to shut me down from the checking account, etc. I am afraid of the consequences without having lined up my lawyer yet.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Your D? Dad? Daughter? Doting husband? Dude?
Personally, I think that this is a bigger issue that needs to be talked about in-person, or at the very least, over the phone. I certainly wouldn't even try to communicate things like this over text messaging. And, that is what I would reply to your D: that you won't talk about this over text, and that it can wait until the evening, when you see each other. 

Also, if you're scared to put things in writing, then I certainly wouldn't do that, as things in writing can be used against you at a later date.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

Before you agree to talk to him, why don't you talk to an attorney, and ask what happens if you answer his question with "yes" when he asks if it is over. There may be steps you could take to protect yourself before you respond. 

One of the things I learned through all the loop-de-loops my ex put me through when we were still married was to buy time to figure out how to RESPOND, not to REACT (especially emotionally). The very LAST response should be, under no circumstances should the first response be "Yes." And you can say yes in ways that don't involve that word.


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

keepittogether said:


> If you have been following my threads you know my D and I cannot talk - he has anger issues and is coming unglued. He sent me a text this morning from work telling me that we should "write out our issues" since we can't talk. I have a feeling he might have seen or talked to a lawyer at his place of business so I am not sure I want to put anything in writing. I told him no more letters. He flat out asked me if it was over.
> 
> ADVICE: Should I just say yes? Will this cause him to shut me down from the checking account, etc. I am afraid of the consequences without having lined up my lawyer yet.


I've actually found it easier to about our problems by texting, for 2 reasons. Yes you need to be careful about what you say, but at the same time you have a record of everything he says. And two, the anger and possible hostility can't come through in a text so no matter how heated things may get the conversation can kind of stay controlled.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Op...it would be majorly helpful if you could just keep posting to one thread. Perhaps the mods can merge them for you. 


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