# New user



## AngelinaJ (Jul 16, 2019)

My name is Angelina, 28, married for 3 years. I guess I’ll post my concern here.

I just graduated from community college all paid by scholarships, and I will transfer to an university in September. Husband is so happy for me, but I need to get a student loan. I asked him to be my Cosigner. He said he would do that for me yesterday, but today he is having doubts saying “what if we get divorced”. This hurts me so much because I never gave him reasons to think I wouldn’t pay my own debts. But for his best friend he co signed a ridiculously expensive car right away. 

This is not the first time he disappoints me about finances. 3 months prior to our wedding he asked for a prenup. He says that nobody plans to get divorced, but things happen. I don’t even know what to think as I am in tears. I am hoping you can give me some clarity.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

AngelinaJ said:


> My name is Angelina, 28, married for 3 years.


Welcome @AngelinaJ


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I'm wondering if something happened in his family of origin (FOO) or with friends to influence him? This sounds like it is more about him than you. Know you wish he trusted you, and hope you have told him so!


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

First off, congratulations on your graduation! You must be smart if you got all those scholarships. You must be so proud of yourself.



AngelinaJ said:


> I asked him to be my Cosigner. He said he would do that for me yesterday, but today he is having doubts saying “what if we get divorced”. This hurts me so much because I never gave him reasons to think I wouldn’t pay my own debts. But for his best friend he co signed a ridiculously expensive car right away.


My heart hurts to hear that. I'm not surprised you are feeling so bad. How could he cosign a stupid car for his friend but not a school loan for his wife? What happens if he "breaks up" with his friend? 

I'm not sure what the future holds for your relationship, but I do know you should keep your finances as separate as you can. When you get a great job after graduation, just pay whatever part of the bills you need and keep a separate account with the rest of your money. I don't like his attitude towards financial matters. I bet he thinks all money will be his to do as he likes. Don't let that happen. Make sure you also control the money. You both are partners and you also get to decide how the money is spent.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

AngelinaJ said:


> My name is Angelina, 28, married for 3 years. I guess I’ll post my concern here.
> 
> I just graduated from community college all paid by scholarships, and I will transfer to an university in September. Husband is so happy for me, but I need to get a student loan. I asked him to be my Cosigner. He said he would do that for me yesterday, but today he is having doubts saying “what if we get divorced”. This hurts me so much because I never gave him reasons to think I wouldn’t pay my own debts. But for his best friend he co signed a ridiculously expensive car right away.
> 
> This is not the first time he disappoints me about finances. 3 months prior to our wedding he asked for a prenup. He says that nobody plans to get divorced, but things happen. I don’t even know what to think as I am in tears. I am hoping you can give me some clarity.


The fact that he asked for a pre-nup, especially so close to the wedding, was a red flag. I would never marry a man who cared more about his money than me.


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