# The right wedding venue?



## davidscheff (Sep 16, 2020)

Hey fellas! How is y'all doing? Having to keep yourself at home with your family might have helped some of you resolve issues with your spouse. I'm getting married next year probably, taking the government COVID guidelines into account then. I thought I would walk myself through the married folks' life here to get some heads-up. Anyway, my fiancé and I are in a state of indecision regarding where to conduct the wedding. I wanted an open-air garden or park wedding. I also wanted to know the pros and cons of the barn wedding as well. At the same time, my fiancé is into this luxurious banquet hall wedding, with the guests being treated royally and exquisite food. We are confused about which is the right venue. Since we have decided to split the wedding cost into halves, the budget is not an issue. Can you guys give me some insights on the pros and cons of these venues? It will be of great help.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Don't know what the pandemic situation is like where you are, but that ought to be a factor in the indoor vs. outdoor decision. I read that in Maryland, contact tracing suggested 44% of victims had recently attended a family gathering.

As for which is "better", that depends on the people involved. You may want to consider what your guests will enjoy and not just the 2 of you. My mindset was, during the ceremony the guests are an audience, during the reception they're done being an audience and it's my job to be a good host and give them a good party.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Seriously, my solid advice is that you choose ten or less guests and get married next month. Invest the money you were going to waste in silver or gold.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Mr. Nail said:


> Seriously, my solid advice is that you choose ten or less guests and get married next month. Invest the money you were going to waste in silver or gold.


Couldn't agree with this more. My and my husband spent exactly $1500 eloping to Vegas for 4 days. That included everything, gas, food, hotel, wedding bands, ceremony and it was the best decision we ever made. 27 years later and I don't regret it. Keep it simple and cheap. Saved money can go in savings, retirement, emergency funds, down payment on a house... etc. There is no end. True loved ones will love you with a small simple ceremony.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I agree you shouldn't spend money on a wedding to impress people, or b/c you think it's expected. If you spend it, do it b/c you think it'll be worth it for the fun you and your guests have. And if you don't have it to spend, then don't spend it.


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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

Also vote for a small wedding and save the money you would otherwise waste. Covid gives you the perfect excuse (not that you really need one) to keep the list small and not offend anyone.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

barn vs. banquet hall - looks like the two of you have different ideas of perfect wedding. .... Make sure you discuss other things - what kind of house and what price range do you expect to buy in the future? etc.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

When I got marry the first time it was $15 the marriage license, plus about $150 for the party at our home. Second time $30, and we went solo to a restaurant to celebrate, just us; ever since we've been together. I dislike those fancy weddings. The more money it cost, the sooner the marriage is over (my opinion based on a lifetime of observation).
It is not about the wedding, but about the marriage. In today's times and probably still next year, venue events with many people in attendance is a sure thing for COVID spreading. 

To me your fiancée sense of grandeur wedding extravagance is a red flag in itself. This indicates that she's more into the wedding, and not the marriage, and I could be wrong but experience has tough me to be weary of females with a sense of such grandeur. Too superfluous to be able to "man up or woman up, or whatever, when the tough gets going. It It's a generalization, but valid in many cases nonetheless.


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## davidscheff (Sep 16, 2020)

Hey! Thanks, everyone for all your opinions. Finally, we have decided to scale down the function, reduce the guests and rework on the budget. We will have a small wedding and save money for our future. Your opinions were insightful.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Smart decision! 
congratulations!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Rob_1 said:


> When I got marry the first time it was $15 the marriage license, plus about $150 for the party at our home. Second time $30, and we went solo to a restaurant to celebrate, just us; ever since we've been together. I dislike those fancy weddings. The more money it cost, the sooner the marriage is over (my opinion based on a lifetime of observation).
> It is not about the wedding, but about the marriage. In today's times and probably still next year, venue events with many people in attendance is a sure thing for COVID spreading.
> 
> To me your fiancée sense of grandeur wedding extravagance is a red flag in itself. This indicates that she's more into the wedding, and not the marriage, and I could be wrong but experience has tough me to be weary of females with a sense of such grandeur. Too superfluous to be able to "man up or woman up, or whatever, when the tough gets going. It It's a generalization, but valid in many cases nonetheless.


When I came to this forum just over four years ago I was engaged and due to be married about four months later. The wedding didn’t happen but by then I had spent around three hundred and fifty grand. 
And the only people who gave me a refund was the band.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Andy1001 said:


> When I came to this forum just over four years ago I was engaged and due to be married about four months later. The wedding didn’t happen but by then I had spent around three hundred and fifty grand.
> And the only people who gave me a refund was the band.


$350,000 - is that right?! Holly guacamole! You could buy a house for that.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

WandaJ said:


> $350,000 - is that right?! Holly guacamole! You could buy a house for that.


Yeah, as one of the people who said a big wedding is right for some of us, that sounds like a lot. I guess one man's fortune is another man's pocket change.


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## davidscheff (Sep 16, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> When I came to this forum just over four years ago I was engaged and due to be married about four months later. The wedding didn’t happen but by then I had spent around three hundred and fifty grand.
> And the only people who gave me a refund was the band.


Sorry to hear that. I hope things turn around for you soon.🤗


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Andy1001 said:


> When I came to this forum just over four years ago I was engaged and due to be married about four months later. The wedding didn’t happen but by then I had spent around three hundred and fifty grand.
> And the only people who gave me a refund was the band.


How in the world did you dispose of that much money with no refund?!!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

davidscheff said:


> Sorry to hear that. I hope things turn around for you soon.🤗


That was over four years ago. We got married two years ago, in fact our anniversary was yesterday.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> How in the world did you dispose of that much money with no refund?!!


I try not to think about it lol. 
A bridal dress costing twenty grand was just one of the things we didn’t get a refund on. Flights from Europe for my family, hotel rooms, bridesmaids dresses, the list just went on and on.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Andy1001 said:


> I try not to think about it lol.
> A bridal dress costing twenty grand was just one of the things we didn’t get a refund on. Flights from Europe for my family, hotel rooms, bridesmaids dresses, the list just went on and on.


Heh yeah but flights/hotels can be refunded on cancellation, and even with the dresses and stuff $350k is kinda excessive lol
Anyway I'd rather not force you to re-collect too much, this is the kind of memory I myself would try to pretend never happened


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## TakBunc (May 25, 2021)

Well, in both cases, there are pros and cons. A wedding in the open air or in the park is a very excellent idea. It's insanely beautiful and easy. Only you will need to come up with something in case it rains. On the other hand, a restaurant wedding is a cliche. In my opinion, this is boring and uninteresting. Even if money is not a problem for you, I would still recommend having a beautiful and heartfelt wedding. This is your wedding, and you should not care about the opinions of others. Just please don't have to have a wedding at wedding chapels in gatlinburg tn, because this is the last century. I wish you happiness and good luck. I hope you will make the right decision.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

The right answer is whatever your fiancé wants that you can afford.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

The right answer is whatever your fiancé wants that her parents can afford.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Church i we attended. Gave my preacher $150 for his time. Reception followed in fellowship hall. Never understood all the partying after a wedding. After cake and punch, wife and i were on our way to honeymoon destination.

Son is getting married in September, paid $1k for venue rent. Really! You have a church home, use it! You have student loans and medical bills from 3 days in hospital for COVID. And you want to blow a grand and go back to fellowship hall for the reception.

One thing i see in that future is him getting his pay garnished to cover those federal student loans.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> Never understood all the partying after a wedding.


For me, it was a happy occasion worthy of celebrating and the gang was all there.

Not saying you have to feel this way, just why I felt that way.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Our wedding was immediate family only as a destination thing; kicked everyone out of the apartment we had rented after about 30 minutes so we could get busy.

Then when we got back we rented a hall and did a big party for like 200 people but it was on the cheap; everything from Costco and serve yourself. That said the leftover alcohol I bought took a year to drink with multiple people working on it. I think I assumed everyone drank how my friends and I did, very wrong.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> That said the leftover alcohol I bought took a year to drink with multiple people working on it.


We asked for no gifts but lots of people gave us booze and said "You can drink this on your honeymoon.". If we'd drank it all on our honeymoon, we'd not only have been dead but embalmed.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

SpinyNorman said:


> We asked for no gifts but lots of people gave us booze and said "You can drink this on your honeymoon.". If we'd drank it all on our honeymoon, we'd not only have been dead but embalmed.


I think we bought a case of magnums (24 bottles) worth of sparkling wine. I think we used maybe 6 at the party. I don’t remember how much beer but maybe 8 12 packs, and then 1.75s of all the main alcohols.

We were living in sin at the time (before we had been married) in a one bedroom apartment and didn’t have room for all of it so it stayed at her mom’s house.


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## meadlobon (Aug 3, 2021)

We lived together for a long time. That is, we began to live with each other long before our wedding. We rented this house for three years. We're even thinking of repurchasing it. Our wedding took place in a church in our city. This is a rather ancient cathedral where our parents and grandparents got married. I've always been sentimental. I shed tears when I saw my bride in a dress. I wanted to repeat the photo of my grandfather in his wedding suit. I ordered a replica of my grandfather's suit and my father's suit on Gentleman's Guru. They fulfilled my request and even gave me expensive cufflinks. This wedding is a delightful event.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

When it comes down to it you really won’t have a choice. She will have her tantrum in grand fashion because it is “Her Special Day” not yours. Your thoughts on the matter will matter not ......... give it time.... you will see 😬


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

you can drop a barrel full of money on a venue! 
but if you are crafty....maybe cut it in half?

If it were my wedding (as opposed to my kids where they might have strong feelings on the venue) i would search for a nice cheap venue with an ability to serve liquor. An Elks lodge, Other hall, near a lake or ocean....often will rent out for weddings. they often have a liquor license, so spend your money on an open bar and a good live band. You can get top notch caterers to come in from anywhere.

there might already be a tent outdoors for such ocasions, which would be good for covid reasons (as long as it is not too cold out)


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