# It's Complicated



## PeachyKeen (Jan 19, 2014)

My husband and I are expecting our 2nd child and I've been reflecting a lot on the raising our current daughter. Our daughter was born while we were living in another state and had no family from either side around. Though it was a little tough, we had a lot of control over what/who our daughter was exposed to. We moved to my home state/hometown before she turned 1 to be closer to my family. Unfortunately the economy here is not so great so we both have commutes for work and the school system is mediocre. We're interested in moving again, potentially out of the state, for economic opportunities and for a better education system. The thing is that our daughter has gotten really close to her grandparents and other family members. Has anyone been in this situation or have any advice on moving kids after they've already established relationships with relatives?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old is your daughter.

when I was a child, we moved often due to my father's job. It never bothered me. I had my parents and my siblings. They were the people who I was bonded to the most.

Your daughter will be fine. Just keep a close family unit. Encourage a strong relationship the her soon to be born sibling. 

Perhaps family can come visit often. Or you all can visit them often.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Depending on her age, it would be wise to talk to her about the move way ahead of time. Talk about what it's going to be like not to be able to see certain people as often. How she may miss them and what kinds of things you can do to help her when she does. Skype is an invaluable tool for many people in these situations. Of course it's not the same as face-to-face visits but it does help. 

One thing my Aunt does to keep the bond strong (she lives in Ontario, Canada, her granddaughter in Washington, D.C.) is to send her care packages once a month. Nothing too grand or expensive but little toys, art kits, even air-mailed banana bread! They also talk on the phone often. So on the rare (once or twice a year) occasion they do see each other, they don't feel estranged.

You can also do activities like printing special photos of the people she loves and putting a scrapbook together or even getting picture frames she can keep in her room. Depending on her age she will be sad probably at first but she will adjust. Things like phone calls, Skype chats, care package,s having photos around, visiting them when you can, supportive talks/hugs from you and her dad etc. should all help her when she misses them, as well as help them keep their bond strong.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I was a military child that lived all over the place. I adjusted well. We saw my grandparents every summer in Puerto Rico, we always spent the summers in PR so that we could be around our family there. My parents did their best to foster a relationship with our immediate family in PR despite the distance we were forced to move. It's hard but it is doable.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> Depending on her age, it would be wise to talk to her about the move way ahead of time. Talk about what it's going to be like not to be able to see certain people as often. How she may miss them and what kinds of things you can do to help her when she does. Skype is an invaluable tool for many people in these situations. Of course it's not the same as face-to-face visits but it does help.
> 
> One thing my Aunt does to keep the bond strong (she lives in Ontario, Canada, her granddaughter in Washington, D.C.) is to send her care packages once a month. Nothing too grand or expensive but little toys, art kits, even air-mailed banana bread! They also talk on the phone often. So on the rare (once or twice a year) occasion they do see each other, they don't feel estranged.
> 
> You can also do activities like printing special photos of the people she loves and putting a scrapbook together or even getting picture frames she can keep in her room. Depending on her age she will be sad probably at first but she will adjust. Things like phone calls, Skype chats, care package,s having photos around, visiting them when you can, supportive talks/hugs from you and her dad etc. should all help her when she misses them, as well as help them keep their bond strong.


:iagree: ^ Great advice above. 

Most of my in-laws moved out of state for financial reasons and we keep in contact mostly through skype/facetime. My son loves to video chat with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We also visit them a couple times a year, too. It is obviously different from them living near us, but it has helped to keep them close. With today's technology, it makes things a lot easier to keep in touch.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

She should be fine especially if she is young. The younger the kids are, the quicker they adjust. 

You should talk to her about it and tell her that she will move to a better school and meet new friends and she can always skype or facetime her loved ones and visit during the holidays...etc.

Kids generally only need their parents and siblings. Of course she loves her grandparents, and she will miss them, but it wont be too much for her to handle. I moved across two continents when I was 8 and I settled down quickly and happily.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I'm assuming she's under the age of 5? Moving isn't going to traumatize her. Do what you need for YOUR family, not your outlying family, and that will take the pressure off of everyone and you'll be better parents. You can always visit them.


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