# Unplanned pregnancy?



## Feeling-Lonely (Nov 13, 2013)

Just read another person's thread about the subject and didn't want to "thread jack" but I have a question for those that have had a child on accident. Especially at a really young age. 

I realize this sounds judgmental however this is not my intention. 

I just wonder is it the sexual education? Didn't you know? didn't care? Were you drunk? 

Where I am from I didn't hear abut teenage pregnancies I assume it is because we had good sexual education. We didn't party as much as the kids now days where I live in the States.

The condoms were sold at any cash register at any store located right next to chewing gum and everybody knew what it was for.

Again I am not passing judgment I myself was "an accident" but I wasn't the first child and my parents were in their thirties.

Is it the founding fathers/puritans? Are kids even told how the reproductive system works like I was back in Europe?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Of course kids are taught about sex and reproduction. 

"In 2013, there were 26.6 births for every 1,000 adolescent females ages 15-19, or 274,641 babies born to females in this age group. Nearly eighty-nine percent of these births occurred outside of marriage. The 2013 teen birth rate indicates a decline of ten percent from 2012 when the birth rate was 29.4 per 1,000. The teen birth rate has declined almost continuously over the past 20 years. In 1991, the U.S. teen birth rate was 61.8 births for every 1,000 adolescent females, compared with 26.6 births for every 1,000 adolescent females in 2013."


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

My husband and I had a pregnancy when we were dating. I think we were 20 or 21? I ended up losing it. No good excuse, we were just being stupid with birth control. 

We married about four years later and had our 1st kid at 30, another at 33 and we were done. Then a surprise pregnancy at 40. Again, being stupid about birth control. Remember that movie, This is 40, that scene with Leslie Mann in the car when she finds out she's pregnant at 40? That was me but I wouldn't trade my 9 nine year old for nothing. He makes me laugh everyday.


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## BrightEyes86 (Nov 1, 2014)

My cousin got herself pregnant when she was 14, and honestly I think she did it on purpose. Of course when she told me about it (I'm 10 years older and she's always looked up to me as a big sister) she claimed she was being careful and was on birth control and used a condom, but I very highly doubt that that's true. At the time she was very much into the show "Secret Life of the American Teenager" or whatever that show title was, she had been living with her dad for a few years after he finally won custody of her after her mom abandoned her with strangers, and had 2 older half sisters around my age who had both had babies as teenagers. In the environment she was raised in, it was perfectly OK to be a teen mom, and she probably wasn't getting all the attention she wanted to get. When she was 13 she came to me and revealed she was cutting (an obvious cry for attention), and shortly after that she did a stint in a local mental health unit. Then a year later she "accidentally" gets pregnant? Obviously she didn't get enough attention from cutting and got the idea from her surroundings that having a baby would gain her all sorts of it. I doubt if all of this was a conscious decision, often attention seeking behavior in teens isn't fully conscious and calculated. But opportunity presents itself (in this case in the form of an older boy willing to sleep with a 14 year old girl) and you take it.

Are all teenage mothers like my cousin? Probably not. But I bet a good number of them are. And as bad as it all sounds, the situation has forced her to grow up a bit and she's a pretty good mom. She can be a bit misguided at times, she is after all only 18 now. But she managed to keep her marks up in school and got a 3/4 scholarship and is attending college, she works when and as much as she can, her kid goes to a good daycare when she's in class or working, and she's very family oriented. I just wish she'd spank him once in a while or something, he's very mean to animals and she just says "he's only 3 he doesn't know better". Well recently one of the animals he was being mean to bit him and he needed stitches. If she won't teach him the animals will, unfortunately it means that the animal will probably be put down. I don't think she sees that this behavior means he's going to become a bully if she doesn't do something about it. But maybe it's easier to see the big picture when you're on the outside looking in.

Anyway, to answer your question directly: I don't think it's a lack of understanding of the reproductive system that accounts for American teen pregnancy rates. I truly believe teens get it and just do it for attention, or they suffer from the mentality of "it can't happen to me".


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Feeling-Lonely said:


> Just read another person's thread about the subject and didn't want to "thread jack" but I have a question for those that have had a child on accident. Especially at a really young age.
> 
> I realize this sounds judgmental however this is not my intention.
> 
> ...


As Ele mentioned, the teen pregnancy rate has been steadily going down for years here in the US. Most are well educated about safe sex, but there are a number of reasons for why an unplanned pregnancy occurs. Birth control is never 100% effective, so even when used perfectly, a girl/woman can still get pregnant. Some women using the pill don't realize/forget that anti-biotics change the effectiveness of it, putting them at risk of pregnancy. I can't remember if it changed or not, but the morning after pill is(was?) only given to those 18 and over from a pharmacist. If the condom broke, they could be out of luck, but even if they got the morning after pill it is still only about 80-85% effective. The young couple could also throw caution to the wind and just risk it, too. There are also a number of other reasons, but I won't get into all of them. 

My son is from an unplanned pregnancy. My husband and I planned to wait a couple years before having a family, but we got pregnant 3 months after marriage. I can't use hormonal birth control for medical reasons(it would land me in the hospital) and also can't use an IUD(also for medical reasons - endometriosis), so we don't have many options for birth control. We decided to do NFP, as I had been charting for over a year and we felt pretty comfortable with that decision. Well, somehow things got messed up, as I ovulated later than expected(cycles were usually like clockwork) and I got pregnant. We're thrilled to have our son even though the timing was not what we planned. I got pregnant again when my son was 6 months old and have no idea how that happened, as we used condoms every single time and I checked them all afterward(none broke, no holes, etc). That second pregnancy would be that example of perfect use and still getting pregnant. We ended up losing that pregnancy though.


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## D.H Mosquito (Jul 22, 2014)

Just found out today that my wife is pregnant, not entirely thrilled with the news as problems in the past and still get angry/down even a couple of years on we are both in our mid 40's but i should have had my wits about even after a few drinks me and a condom,


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