# Woman-speak translation, please...



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I think I know what the answer is, but thought I'd get input from some ladies...

So my SO and I were lounging around in bed the other day. She had been talking about one of her co-workers getting engaged, and how pretty her ring was. So she decided she should find a picture of it to show me. We're looking through the ring pics that she found, and I must have made a comment that lead to her saying "You can engage me, if you like".

I'm thinking that was a pretty unsubtle hint... . Thoughts? Is it time for me to get off my procrastinating @ss and get my divorce done?

C
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## MaBi123 (Nov 28, 2013)

Yeah, that was definitely a hint. No question.

Even if you're still married, you can ask her to marry you. Maybe a ring would make a good Xmas present


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

:rofl:

Seriously! 


Or she could have meant you could engage her in deep conversation....

Nyaaaaa.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Was she proposing to you?! LOL

What was your response Pbear?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yes it means exactly what you think it does.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

She's been reasonably clear that actually getting married isn't high on her to-do list. She prefers the idea of a renewable lease, rather than buying the car (so to speak). But apparently she's not against the idea of being taken off the market with a ring, though. And I would say the same thing, personally. 

But I think we'll wait till we're both divorced before that happens. Thus my last comment in my post. That only seems right. 

As far as my reply... I think I said that sounded like a good idea to me, and then I asked about my ring. 

C
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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

waiwera said:


> We have friends that exchanged 'commitment' rings.
> They wear them on their ring fingers.
> They had a party to celebrate.
> Formal dress and lots of bubbly...felt awfully like a wedding if you ask me.....
> ...


That sounds like our style. . But waiting for divorces to finalize still seems like a good idea. 

C
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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

None needed. She proposed to you lol.

And/or she likes the ring.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

PBear said:


> As far as my reply... I think I said that sounded like a good idea to me, and then I asked about my ring.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cute!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm not a woman, but I think she meant would you like for me to go get you beer?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Thound said:


> I'm not a woman, but I think she meant would you like for me to go get you beer?


AND a sammich! 

I hadn't actually considered that she might have proposed, however... I may have to rethink whether my response was adequate to a proposal, as informal as it might have been.

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Quite disappointed google translate doesn't include the female language, especially considering it comprises of half of humanity, bah!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Quite disappointed google translate doesn't include the female language, especially considering it comprises of half of humanity, bah!


LOL!

I was going to make an additional comment, but considering I posted in the Ladies Lounge, I'll refrain. 

C


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

why not just ask her and have a conversation about your future together and explain that you still need to finalize your divorce.....with that said why are you dragging your heels on the divorce. get er done already.

maybe she just wanted laid! engage her. sounds like a come on to me hope you jumped her bone after that comment.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

That needed a translation? Ok, you're at a used car lot and a salesman says "you can drive home in this Mustang today!" As suggestions go, both are equally subtle.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> why not just ask her and have a conversation about your future together and explain that you still need to finalize your divorce.....with that said why are you dragging your heels on the divorce. get er done already.
> 
> maybe she just wanted laid! engage her. sounds like a come on to me hope you jumped her bone after that comment.


In general, I think we're pretty good about knowing where our heads are at, relationship-wise. We're in it long-term. And we're in a similar situation with regards to separation/cleanup status. But yes, it's time to get my stuff cleaned up. 

I did think about the getting laid part, too. . But we were watching the season finale of one of her shows, so I'm pretty sure that wasn't her intention that night. 

But thanks for the thoughts!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mark72 (May 26, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Quite disappointed google translate doesn't include the female language, especially considering it comprises of half of humanity, bah!


I actually have a really good answer for this.
It would be outdated immediately. The problem is that we as men will never understand women completely. Whenever a few of us get close, they send out a gender-wide beacon to change the rules.
Do you really think they all just happen to have to pee at the same time? No, their alarms are sounding and they are having an intense strategy meeting...


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## onedge (Nov 27, 2013)

You say she has told you getting married isn't high on her list and she also says you can engage me.

She is probably telling you the truth in she is willing to wait until the right time but she needs you to show that you are committed that there will be a right time. Most women don't want to put in the time and effort without knowing there is some payoff later. If you are not ready for the engagement then at least do the divorce and some romantic gesture that tells her that you are really into her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

onedge said:


> You say she has told you getting married isn't high on her list and she also says you can engage me.
> 
> She is probably telling you the truth in she is willing to wait until the right time but she needs you to show that you are committed that there will be a right time. Most women don't want to put in the time and effort without knowing there is some payoff later. If you are not ready for the engagement then at least do the divorce and some romantic gesture that tells her that you are really into her.


Thank you for this. 

She's the one that has always said that she doesn't think she wants to get married again. But I think when the time is right, a "commitment ceremony" might be the right answer. As part of the "engage me" continued discussion, I mentioned just being engaged indefinitely, and she was on-board with that. Again, I think the idea is to publicly declare and display our commitment to each other without the legal aspect of getting married. And since we won't be having kids together, I'm good with that. 

I downloaded the paperwork required to do my own divorce yesterday. I'll see how far I get this weekend. I wouldn't consider giving it to my STBXW before Christmas (that would be cruel), but if I had t done and ready to process early in the new year, that would be great. 

C
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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Does she know that you downloaded the paperwork? I think it'd be good if she does. Maybe it's time for you to both get your statuses in order. It does sound like she's expressing that she wants to see a commitment. 

And you know, a beautiful piece of jewellery might be part of that picture for her too.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I did mention this morning that I had downloaded the paperwork, but just kind of in passing. And at lunch today, I picked up her birthday present. No ring, but it is jewelry. 

C
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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Awe...brings back such fond memories....how cute.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> Awe...brings back such fond memories....how cute.


Thanks, I think. . It sure is different dating now than when I was a broke college student! 

C


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

PBear said:


> I did mention this morning that I had downloaded the paperwork, but just kind of in passing. And at lunch today, I picked up her birthday present. No ring, but it is jewelry.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cool, get your status in order in the New Year. There might be reasons as to why you haven't divorced yet, unrelated to the heart, but sounds like it might be time for YOU to get this sorted anyway. 


My husband and I met young. Even though we were in love, I refused to share records (as in vinyl) with him. My fear was if we broke up, we'd have to sort the record situation. Then one day, I just suggested we share in our record purchasing instead. He was all for it. Shortly after that we talked about moving in together. We combined record collections before bank accounts. That was a big deal for me lol.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

PBear said:


> I think I know what the answer is, but thought I'd get input from some ladies...
> 
> So my SO and I were lounging around in bed the other day. She had been talking about one of her co-workers getting engaged, and how pretty her ring was. So she decided she should find a picture of it to show me. We're looking through the ring pics that she found, and I must have made a comment that lead to her saying "You can engage me, if you like".
> 
> I'm thinking that was a pretty unsubtle hint... . Thoughts? Is it time for me to get off my procrastinating @ss and get my divorce done?


Super unsubtle. She is saying that if you asked her to marry you, she would say yes; that she wants to be engaged to you. It's a round-about way or telling you to ask her.

Sounds like she is super serious about you, PBear...

And how do you feel? About her?

And YES OMG, get divorced. Jimminy crickets--I thought you did that eons ago!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Quite disappointed google translate doesn't include the female language, especially considering it comprises of half of humanity, bah!


:rofl:


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## temperance (Jul 28, 2013)

PBear said:


> I think I know what the answer is, but thought I'd get input from some ladies...
> 
> So my SO and I were lounging around in bed the other day. She had been talking about one of her co-workers getting engaged, and how pretty her ring was. So she decided she should find a picture of it to show me. We're looking through the ring pics that she found, and I must have made a comment that lead to her saying "You can engage me, if you like".
> 
> ...


YES... what's the hold up?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As far as the divorce goes... We had to separate for a year before I could get a divorce, and things were going so amicably I just never felt the need to rock the boat between me and my STBX and finalize things. I am going to have to she'll out all the legal fees, and it wasn't going to make much difference in how I went about my life. But... It's coming up on three years, and time to get it done. 

My SO is in a similar situation... She and her STBX are meeting with a lawyer on Friday for the first time. Maybe we'll race. 

Oh, and we have had a few more discussions over the last week, about this topic. It's been good. 

C


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## loopy lu (Oct 30, 2013)

Well, Im a lady (using that term very loosely) and my first thought was that she was initiating the horizontal mambo. 

No? :scratchhead:


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## dream_weaver (Jun 5, 2012)

Exactly like my situation….SO & I are just getting ready to go through the divorce process (already to go after Christmas), I absolutely LOVE this man & would like to have a "definite" sign of commitment AKA ring but I wouldn't ask! For me I want to know that he wants to marry me even if we don't for years…we both married our partners after being together so young & thought that was just the next step…I'm not all that worried about a wedding & would be way off anyways with the divorces….

I'd give her what she wants…a 'promise' ring.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Loopy, like I mentioned, we were watching the season finale of one of HER shows, and we were clothed, so I didn't feel like she was initiating a wrestling match. And subsequent discussions have indicated that the engagement/commitment/marriage thing was where she was going. But thanks for the thought!

Dream weaver, thanks for that thought. Now isn't quite the right time for that, but I can see it happening soon. Even if there's not a wedding in the immediate future.

C


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

She wants you to ask her to marry you. Simple as that! I'm just speculating of course but I'd bet she'd feel better about doing her divorce paperwork if she knew you were fully committed.
I'm old fashioned so I could be way off the mark. Just my 2 cents.
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