# Stupid **** Cheaters Say



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

I must give credit to this idea to a site I've found invaluable through my whole D-Day/OW/STBX/Divorce process: Chump Lady. Look it up if you want to read empowering (and funny) advice from someone who'd been there.

Here are a few submissions I've either made there or heard my STBX actually say in the last two months:

"I thought the marriage was already over." (Would have been nice of you to tell me that.)

"You should have seen this coming." (Yes, I was just waiting around for you to shatter my trust in you.)

"You would like her. She's really a very nice person." (You're right! Silly me! Let's just all be friends!)

"This has been very difficult for her, too, you know." (Cry me a river.)

"Don't worry about how she'll treat our son/daughter. The children come first with her." (No, I'm fairly certain she does.)

______

Anyone else want to play?


----------



## betrayed16 (Oct 23, 2014)

"I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you." (Oh, so it wasn't because you wanted to cover up your appalling behavior and keep pretending to be a good person?)


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"Matt, I'd like you to meet XXXX. I really think you'll like him!"

And bless her, she sprung a meeting between her lover and me.

I was too shocked to do anything.

There's also:
"But my affair isn't anything to do with what I feel for you!, what we have together!"

"Can't you just get over it?"

Until: "Oh, $£%&! I never thought that you'd be hurt *this* badly! I thought if I told you in advance that you'd be OK with it!"


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

"So just because people see my car at his house everyday while you were at work, people are seeing us together in bars having fun and now Im moving all of my belongings into his house you automatically assume im having an affair with no real proof" 

He is just a good friend.....


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

betrayed16 said:


> "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you." (Oh, so it wasn't because you wanted to cover up your appalling behavior and keep pretending to be a good person?)


I Like this times eleventy billion.


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

_"We Only had Sex twice"_, (Wow, that sure does makes me feel better, and to boot... still another lie)

When asking Why? _"You would never take me to the movie", _(Even that sounded stupid to her)

The Broken excuse... _"I felt like our marriage was broken", _(Yep, lying and sleeping with other men has a way of breaking up a marriage)

OM1 and wife both teachers... _"You know, Teachers are Touchy-Feely types"_, (Say What!)

I personally believe that a lot of the Stupid Sh!t comes from repeated rationalization that goes on for years (in my wife's case) without questioning validity. I guess you can tell yourself anything long enough and will become true.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

4 different stories (I have the memory of an elephant so remembered some from 2012)

1. i met her at xxx and we just talked about business (2012)
2. Yeah I met her she was cheating with my friend xxxx (March 2015)
3. I never talked to that woman (April 2015)
4. I never called that woman, i swear on my mother's life (April 2015)


Giving Bill Clinton a run for his money


----------



## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

It just happened.


----------



## musk-rat (Mar 10, 2015)

Her best line was, "I thought I would be more desirable to you if I was with another man."


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

"I gave up on the marriage...I just didnt tell you."


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

melw74 said:


> It just happened.


O.M.G.

I STILL get this one from time to time. Yeah, it just happened that you met her at the wake after a funeral, started talking and drinking with her, and then when you were both nice and tipsy, ended up making out that night after you walked her to her car. And then it just happened that you called and texted each other every day after that for over a month. And then it just happened, again, that you flew back up there and stayed with her at her house for five days, telling me and our son you were visiting what I thought were dear friends of ours, had sex with her repeatedly, met and had dinner with both her grown daughters and their significant others, and went out to dinner with her and these same not-so-dear friends like you were already an established couple and I didn't even exist, all before you ever told me anything about her.

I see. It's all so clear, now. Thanks.


----------



## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

betrayed16 said:


> "I lied to you because I didn't want to hurt you." (Oh, so it wasn't because you wanted to cover up your appalling behavior and keep pretending to be a good person?)


That's the same crock of s*** I got..
Also,
1. It just happened. ( Over & Over for 6 months)

2. I thought our marriage was good enough that it wouldn't destroy us.

3. It didn't have nothing to do with how much I love you.

4. It made me see what I've got. ( So for 33 years you didn't know)

And so on & so on...


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

"It was just a 'fling.' It didn't mean anything."

:scratchhead:

Needless to say, I didn't marry him.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

"OK, yes we did have sex...But it wasn't good because I felt so guilty" 

Somehow they managed to keep hooking up, I guess it takes a while to thrust the guilt out of the affair.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

_"I didn't know you'd freak out this bad about a little sexting, some dirty pictures, and one completely innocent spend-the-night at her house! If I'd known I'd be in this much trouble for such stupid little stuff, I would have actually had sex with her and made it worthwhile." _


He never could figure out why I wasn't convinced it was just an EA......

:slap:


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

My favorite ( after seeing a strange car parked in her drive less than 3 weeks after she moved into her house...at 9:15AM on a Sunday.

"Oh that was just a co-worker who came over to help with my plumbing."


Suuuuurrrrreeeeee....


----------



## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

SamuraiJack said:


> My favorite ( after seeing a strange car parked in her drive less than 3 weeks after she moved into her house...at 9:15AM on a Sunday.
> 
> "Oh that was just a co-worker who came over to help with my plumbing."
> 
> ...


She wasn't being completely dishonest.

He did end up laying some pipe while he was there after all.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Stupid things cheaters say.......

-I do


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> She wasn't being completely dishonest.
> 
> He did end up laying some pipe while he was there after all.


Bazinga!


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Yeah, I got the "you guys are a lot alike, you could be good friends" too


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

This one may possibly take the cake:

"She reminded me of my sister."

That's just creepy and wrong on a number of levels. And makes me wonder why I still give a [email protected] what he thinks about anything. At all.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

"Why can't we all just get along and be happy..."

"I'll never be able to give him a baby since you made me get my tubes tied..." (in their forties with 6 children between them already)


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SamuraiJack said:


> My favorite ( after seeing a strange car parked in her drive less than 3 weeks after she moved into her house...at 9:15AM on a Sunday.
> 
> "Oh that was just a co-worker who came over to help with my plumbing."
> 
> ...


Well, if you think about it, she was telling the truth!

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> "Why can't we all just get along and be happy..."
> 
> "I'll never be able to give him a baby since you made me get my tubes tied..." (in their forties with 6 children between them already)


I got I lied and deceived her our entire marriage because I didn't give her a child. She always leaves out the little detail is medically she couldn't have kids. 

I guess I should have had an affair, knocked up some girl to give my stbx a child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

"I just needed a friend, someone I could talk to and have fun"


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Idyit said:


> "I just needed a friend, someone I could talk to and have fun"


Grrrrrr...


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The very, very worst most hurtful thing she said was said in a casual remark last summer to a friend of ours when we were together drinking tea in the sun: "I really loved xxxx. But he was a fool to himself."

Thanks, dear. That really made me feel so f**king special. 

I swear some of the filters are missing from her mind.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Mine said, "I love you". That was the worst thing she could have said. Because I then said, "I love you, too".

She sucks. I'm having a tough night. I'll unsubscribe from this. It's killing me today.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

mattmatt said:


> the very, very worst most hurtful thing she said was said in a casual remark last summer to a friend of ours when we were together drinking tea in the sun: "i really loved xxxx. But he was a fool to himself."
> 
> thanks, dear. That really made me feel so f**king special.
> 
> i swear some of the filters are missing from her mind.


ayfkm?!?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> ayfkm?!?


No. Just one of the joys of marrying an Aspie.

Of course, I wasn't aware she was an Aspie when I married her. Nor, however, was she.

But, had I known then what I know now, would I have still married her?

Yeah. I would have.


----------



## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> ayfkm?!?


I'm with Gus on this Matt, you're a great poster, but I hope you gave her both barrels of fury on this.

I got 'I thought it would bring us closer' from one, thankfully I wasn't married at the time, merely (ha) engaged. She did get free fog lights for her car, so there's and upside to it. 

Needless to say we didn't get married, that's MY upside. 

Cheers,
V(13)


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> No. Just one of the joys of marrying an Aspie.
> 
> Of course, I wasn't aware she was an Aspie when I married her. Nor, however, was she.
> 
> ...


So how do you respond to her fits of verbal diarrhea?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Voltaire2013 said:


> I'm with Gus on this Matt, you're a great poster, but I hope you gave her both barrels of fury on this.
> 
> I got 'I thought it would bring us closer' from one, thankfully I wasn't married at the time, merely (ha) engaged. She did get free fog lights for her car, so there's and upside to it.
> 
> ...


I thought about it but I let it pass.

It was just another example of her 100% honesty, which is not really helpful under all circumstances. As you would, of course, expect.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> So how do you respond to her fits of verbal diarrhea?


Just say: "Yes dear" or ignore them.

A useful skill for all married chaps, I think.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Just say: "Yes dear" or ignore them.
> 
> A useful skill for all married chaps, I think.


I'd think that -- at some point -- a well-timed "Dear, please shut your f*cking face-hole..." would be called for... 

RIGHT?!?


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

2ntnuf said:


> Mine said, "I love you". That was the worst thing she could have said. Because I then said, "I love you, too".
> 
> She sucks. I'm having a tough night. I'll unsubscribe from this. It's killing me today.


I know you're unsubscribed to this and probably won't see it, but my heart hurts for you that you're having a tough night. I've had more than a few of those lately, and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen the last one yet. 

Sorry that this thread is upsetting - I didn't mean for it to be, and was hoping it would be a mostly humorous outlet for some of us finding ourselves in the same boat.

Wishing you peace. It may not get there tonight, but it will get there.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

"I've always felt like you're just too smart for me."


----------



## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd think that -- at some point -- a well-timed "Dear, please shut your f*cking face-hole..." would be called for...
> 
> RIGHT?!?


Oddly, I met my wife through a friend at a bar one nite, after a long drought due to a Manchurian candidate like relationship. She isolated and tried to reprogram me. (The ex that is, no more Pacific Rim for me!) 


I got into a heated debate with STBW. I told her to shut her 'cakehole'. She argued it was 'Piehole'. I fell in Love.

Life is funny like that.

Cheers,
V(13)


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd think that -- at some point -- a well-timed "Dear, please shut your f*cking face-hole..." would be called for...
> 
> RIGHT?!?


I do, sometimes.

But it feels like punching a kitten.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Just say: "Yes dear" or ignore them.
> 
> A useful skill for all married chaps, I think.


I used to believe "yes dear" worked too


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

OMG.

Just when I think he can't say anything stupider...

We told our son tonight about the divorce. Our son took it not so well at first, but ultimately calmed down and is staying over at his best friend's house for the night (my son's idea).

I saw STBX was having a hard time with having to tell him, so I tried kindly (like an idiot) to say, "He's doing OK. He's not upset with you about [POSOW] like you might think."

He says, "Can we just stop talking about all this right now? I need a break from it. I have to work tomorrow."

Mind you, I haven't missed a day of work - 5 days a week - sometimes part of a 6th day - every week, since D-Day two months ago, and he hasn't worked (he's a pilot and hasn't had to fly for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with him) in three weeks.

So now I'm the b!tch who doesn't support him in his job. I'm sure he can't wait to text and call the POSOW about that one, because God knows he needs someone to talk to who understands him. No - he needs someone to talk to who *doesn't* understand him yet. That's the only reason she still is.


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> "I've always felt like you're just too smart for me."


This one reminds me - "you were too good for me. I didn't deserve you". Yet you had me, and a beautiful family, and threw it all away for some ugly sad goober who was satisfied making $9/hr the rest of his life.

The saying "they always affair down" is all too true


----------



## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

I've never posted on one of these threads because most of the crap that spewed from the last XW's mouth I simply dismissed as, well, bullsh!t!

She did say one thing that made me think...........say what?

She said that it was very difficult being married to someone that so many women wanted to be with, so she did it just to feel better about herself and wanted by others like I was. :scratchhead:

11 years later and I still haven't figured out that rationale.


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

3putt said:


> I've never posted on one of these threads because most of the crap that spewed from the last XW's mouth I simply dismissed as, well, bullsh!t!
> 
> She did say one thing that made me think...........say what?
> 
> ...


Nothing to figure out, there, 3putt. That's just, well, bullsh!t.


----------



## tonedef (Aug 7, 2014)

''I really didn't think you would care''- Me. Yes I was very stupid and while I was honest from the start, I cant figure out if I really thought that or if I was rationalizing. I think both, I think. Like a small part of me didnt think he would since there was so much disconnect, so I took an inch of thought for a mile of action. I was so young and stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> "I've always felt like you're just too smart for me."


I didn't get it firsthand but my best friend did when my stbx was onto guy number 3 I think as she was bragging about the next great guy in her life. 

she said "ive finally met someone on the same mental level as me" Mr perfect number 3 was a convicted of child porn and sex offender.

I wish I was making this stuff up.


----------



## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Here's one that a cheater said to me years ago that I've never forgotten:

(After two months of being apart - I was away doing research/studies - I came home to the surprise that my long-time SO had cheated the entire time.)

"She's willing to share me with you and I don't want to break up with you, so I thought that was a good idea, but now that you are actually here and I can see your face again, I realize that it was stupid for me to even bring it up."

Ya think?


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

One to add to the backhanded compliment list:

Since I'm one of "those" people that just had to have all the details, I asked her if she had anal sex with the POSOM (something that was Taboo for me), she started crying, shaking her head yes and said "*But he was small!!*".



WTF? Was that supposed to make me feel better? What did she expect me to say "Well as long as I'm bigger than him, I guess everything O K!"? :scratchhead:


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> One to add to the backhanded compliment list:
> 
> Since I'm one of "those" people that just had to have all the details, I asked her if she had anal sex with the POSOM (something that was Taboo for me), she started crying, shaking her head yes and said "*But he was small!!*".
> 
> ...


He fit where you couldn't as you were not small?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thinkitthrough (Sep 5, 2012)

How about: "The Doctor's were telling me you were going to die, so you were never going to know I cheated." and "It was only him and I, you were never in the equation" (with the impression that if I wasn't in the math it couldn't really count??) I think I said something like "I'm married to you, I was always in the equation!"


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> He fit where you couldn't as you were not small?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Basically she was trying to say it didn't hurt because "he was small". She later admitted she was trying to make me feel better by implying I was more endowed. Weird logic.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

"I only met him in person after I told you I was leaving" 

While quitting her job, moving herself, her entire belongings, and our dog to Europe to live with him, after "meeting him in person" 3 months before (and allegedly spending a total of two weeks with him "in person").

Seems legit. I mean people often give up everything they've ever had to move to a foreign country where you don't speak the language to be with someone they've spent a total of 2 weeks with. I guess all that emailing and sending pictures more than proves somebody isn't an internet murderer.

Found out (much) later the guy had flown over here several times to "visit" while we were still married.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> Basically she was trying to say it didn't hurt because "he was small". She later admitted she was trying to make me feel better by implying I was more endowed. Weird logic.


Yes. That's what I figured.

I am intrigued by cheater's logic and cheaterspeak.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

To a friend:

"I did it to see if I really loved you, and I really did all along. I couldn't even enjoy it because I thought of you the whole time. And besides, it's not like I got an STD or anything!"

Sort of a consolation prize, hmm?


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

"It was meaningless sex...that's all it was." (Soooo intimacy is as important to you as it is me??)

"He said all the right words....was so interested in what I had to say." (So me complimenting you and listening to you was different with OM how?)

Yeah this infidelity crap is the worst. A few compliments and and hanging on her every word and she gives herself away. I guess this will be something I will never fully understand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

I made the mistake of asking my STBX how he can say on the one hand that he "doesn't even really know this woman" and so wants to "date" her for a while before rushing into a commitment, and then how it was I found on his cell phone all these texts back and forth saying, "Love you," "Love you, too" from last year when he'd only seen her once since he'd met her.

I asked him how he can love someone he admits he doesn't even really know. He says, "That's just something you say. I don't know if I really love her yet or not." I'm sure she'd be THRILLED to hear that. And I'm so glad you're throwing your wife and son under the bus for someone you don't know whether you really love or not.

What a tool.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> I made the mistake of asking my STBX how he can say on the one hand that he "doesn't even really know this woman" and so wants to "date" her for a while before rushing into a commitment, and then how it was I found on his cell phone all these texts back and forth saying, "Love you," "Love you, too" from last year when he'd only seen her once since he'd met her.
> 
> I asked him how he can love someone he admits he doesn't even really know. He says, "That's just something you say. I don't know if I really love her yet or not." I'm sure she'd be THRILLED to hear that. And I'm so glad you're throwing your wife and son under the bus for someone you don't know whether you really love or not.
> 
> What a tool.


Yes he is a Tool! 

Mine said something similar:

"She told me she loved me so I said it back, when I hesitated she looked sad and I didn't want to hurt her feelings"...Umm, OK it's much easier to repeat this garbage to the person you recited vows to 20+ years ago. TOOL!


----------



## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

drifting on said:


> "He said all the right words....was so interested in what I had to say."


You hear this quite often. I wonder if you know or have any insight into what "all the right words" are, drifting on?


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

azteca1986 said:


> You hear this quite often. I wonder if you know or have any insight into what "all the right words" are, drifting on?



If a glimpse at my Ex's texts and e-mails were confirmation that "all the right words" = "you are so smart" , "you are so wonderful, SHE doesn't know how amazing you are"....

Easy for her to say SHE only dealt with the happy version of him for a few hours here or there in hotels and restaurants. Everyone is easy to be around under those circumstances. Meanwhile me (the Chump) is at home dealing with real life. Like waiting for the HVAC guy and taking the dog to the vet...


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Nomorebeans said:


> I know you're unsubscribed to this and probably won't see it, but my heart hurts for you that you're having a tough night. I've had more than a few of those lately, and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen the last one yet.
> 
> Sorry that this thread is upsetting - I didn't mean for it to be, and was hoping it would be a mostly humorous outlet for some of us finding ourselves in the same boat.
> 
> Wishing you peace. It may not get there tonight, but it will get there.


Oh, I know. No problem. I thought it would be humorous too. I had no clue it would trigger those emotions. It's just me, anyway. I feel better this morning, but not great. I'm confused with many things. Some I've read here in other threads. It sucks because I don't know what to believe. Sometimes I think things are said just to be confusing or hurtful. While there have been times I was angry and curt, I don't remember actively trying to screw up someone's thinking or confuse them. And that last part has nothing to do with this thread or my posts in it. I am just realizing how vindictive and vengeful some folks are at times, and how natural it seems for them to be that way. None of the mistrust stuff has anything to do with you or this thread. It's just something bothering me this morning.

I guess I need to learn how to mistrust even some folks I really thought I could trust here at TAM. It's a sad reality. 

Thank you for understanding and I don't know why I came back, but I'm glad I did.


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

drifting on said:


> "It was meaningless sex...that's all it was." (Soooo intimacy is as important to you as it is me??)


Yeah, I got "It didn't mean anything" also. :scratchhead:

But almost forgot the Queen Mother... hand on the Bible... "I swear on my mother life, I have told you everything. It was only one time." I just shook my head. Her lies didn't phase me anymore.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SamuraiJack said:


> My favorite ( after seeing a strange car parked in her drive less than 3 weeks after she moved into her house...at 9:15AM on a Sunday.
> 
> "Oh that was just a co-worker who came over to help with my plumbing."
> 
> ...


A cheating woman can never really tell when they're going to need the invaluable services of someone with a rather large, attractive "roto-rooter" in order to help "ream out" a temporarily collapsed or a clogged "drain" line that hasn't been used in quite a while!


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

kristin2349 said:


> If a glimpse at my Ex's texts and e-mails were confirmation that "all the right words" = "you are so smart" , "you are so wonderful, SHE doesn't know how amazing you are"....
> 
> Easy for her to say SHE only dealt with the happy version of him for a few hours here or there in hotels and restaurants. Everyone is easy to be around under those circumstances. Meanwhile me (the Chump) is at home dealing with real life. Like waiting for the HVAC guy and taking the dog to the vet...


Oh, and let's not forget "I can't stop thinking about you" and "I can't wait to see you again.'

You know what? He's never said those words to me. Not once. Even when we were dating. Even when we were first married. I did, but he of course doesn't remember that. And after 25 years, if you're still saying that and meaning it, you're demented at best.

Here's a fun one STBX said to me the other night. He basically gave me the specs for the perfect guy I should end up with (I did not ask for his opinion on this). "He should be someone who takes care of himself, but not too much, because you never could understand why I go to the gym all the time like I do." (Actually, I can - because you're in love with your own reflection, Narcissus, and it's so much fun to watch yourself lift weights in front of a big mirror that everyone else can watch you in, too.) "He should like to have a drink now and then, but not be an alcoholic. And he should like to eat chili and watch football games with you, and scream at the TV with you."

I should have said to him, "Here's the kind of woman I think you should end up with: Someone who isn't so desperate to not be alone that she throws herself at married men at funerals."

Instead, I said, "Oh, you mean someone just like you - only fun."

I don't regret that little lapse from The 180. Not even a little bit.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Just remember these little nuggets of "wisdom" your spouse spews out. It makes them look that much more foolish especially when affair land blows up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

"I really didn't like her all that much," says he even after irrefutable evidence that he was more generous with her than with me had surfaced.

Men, explain to me that logic.


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

To a friend " I figure POSOM and I will just have dinner at Hoosiers with all the kids at Christmas." (I informed her attorney that the only way he would ever be in my house was if he were on display in a pine box.)


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*"I can't believe you are going to divorce me just because I had sex with another man"* 

and

*"I did it for us. I wanted to be more sexually open with you but I didn't want you to think I was a slvt."*

said my XWW to me :wtf:


----------



## May1968 (Dec 16, 2014)

On the first night of separation in her own apartment that she needed for "space" I caught a man staying the night. Her excuse was he just stayed over because he was worried that I might do something rash in a fit of jealously about male visitors having been there earlier in the night.

Problem was, she and he didn't know I figured out things earlier. Also I had my 1 year old son with me so yes I was going to do something stupid.


----------



## May1968 (Dec 16, 2014)

Also, my wife said he was sleeping on the sofa in the living room so nothing was going on.

Lights and voices in the bedroom told me otherwise; I was outside the door on could see the lights go off and could tell where the voices were. I then beat on the door and ruined her night.


----------



## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Do cheaters actually believe their own rhetoric? Or do they consider us to be morons. I just read a thread in the SIM section wherein the wife told the husband that in the foreseeable future she wanted to open the marriage and expand her horizons. One of her reasons being the ability to gain experience from many lovers so as to increase her sexual prowess for him thereby increasing his pleasure during coitus. 

This further exemplifies my stance that cheaters are lacking in mental aptitude and will say anything that comes to mind no matter how incredible.


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

NoChoice said:


> Do cheaters actually believe their own rhetoric? Or do they consider us to be morons. I just read a thread in the SIM section wherein the wife told the husband that in the foreseeable future she wanted to open the marriage and expand her horizons. One of her reasons being the ability to gain experience from many lovers so as to increase her sexual prowess for him thereby increasing his pleasure during coitus.
> 
> This further exemplifies my stance that cheaters are lacking in mental aptitude and will say anything that comes to mind no matter how incredible.


Sure they do! Tell a lie enough times and you will start to belive it.

There are two kind of lies, the kind you tell others to justify something you have done and the kind you tell yourself to justify what you are doing.
Cheaters truly start to believe the some, if not all the crap they tell themselves. 

My wife told me she was sure I didn't l Iover her anymore. And I believe that she actually believed that. She needed to believe that to cheat on me. 
I watched her breakdown and cry one night when I told I loved her. When I asked her why she was crying she told me that was the first time in a long time she really believed I still loved her. Two days later she broke down and confessed. Somehow she had stopped believing her own lie.


----------



## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

3putt said:


> I've never posted on one of these threads because most of the crap that spewed from the last XW's mouth I simply dismissed as, well, bullsh!t!
> 
> She did say one thing that made me think...........say what?
> 
> ...


Had girlfriend who did not cheat but kept some suitors around using exact same logic. I dumped her.....


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Nomorebeans said:


> I made the mistake of asking my STBX how he can say on the one hand that he "doesn't even really know this woman" and so wants to "date" her for a while before rushing into a commitment, and then how it was I found on his cell phone all these texts back and forth saying, "Love you," "Love you, too" from last year when he'd only seen her once since he'd met her.
> 
> I asked him how he can love someone he admits he doesn't even really know. He says, "That's just something you say. I don't know if I really love her yet or not." I'm sure she'd be THRILLED to hear that. And I'm so glad you're throwing your wife and son under the bus for someone you don't know whether you really love or not.
> 
> What a tool.


What a liar


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

"There was no sex" (obvious lie)

this is not a quote, but how about this: Constantly talk about the sport/industry that the OM works in when before they had little interest it.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

When told there's evidence that they have cheated "I haven't done anything wrong." 
Also another gem, "I didn't break your heart."

It's amazing what they refuse to allow themselves to believe, just to make themselves feel better.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

In retrospect, it's not really the cheating acts of all of the covert humping and oral sex that was going on between my rich, skanky XW and her two BF's in those out-of-town hotel venues ~ it was the fact that she didn't have "the cajones" to come forth and confronted with the absolute truth ~ and left it up to me to ferret out the very truth on my own through her many lurid FB postings that she never quite figured would ever see the light of day!

The only line that she ever actually used on me was that "L'il Lord Lardass" had some very palatial diggs situated alongside a heralded Texas Hill Country river where she had been invited to go watch 4th of July fireworks with him and some of his family members ~ for two days!

The part inexplicably left out was that in that span of time, after all of those red, white, and blue skyrockets had been shot off, those two were, no doubt, creating a few "fireworks" of their own in that little guest bungalow of hers there!

Then she rushed right back home to me as if nothing had ever happened to screw my lights out like nothing had ever changed between the two of us, other than for her being away on a garden variety "business road trip" dealing with her equines.

Of course, I didn't have the first damned clue about any of this activity until her FB postings came to light much later in our "trial-separation phase!"


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

azteca1986 said:


> You hear this quite often. I wonder if you know or have any insight into what "all the right words" are, drifting on?



I have thought of this every day since d-day, I will share my opinion with you as it applies to my situation. I have finally come to my conclusion as to what all the right words are from the OM, vulnerable. The OM expressed his inner most thoughts and feelings (eye roll) to my WW. WW thought he was vulnerable in expressing these thoughts and feelings with her and therefore he must be genuine. Being vulnerable to your spouse does create trust and show your warm inner feelings so to speak. So when OM did this my WW fell like the first domino that then wreaked havoc on two marriages. I wasn't vulnerable according to my IC and myself, I closed off my feelings towards my WW prior to her affair.

This is something my IC has worked extensively with me, be vulnerable. However, I find at fifteen months from d-day this is very difficult to do. I need to place my heart in my hands and extend my hands towards my WW. After the last time she took care of my heart I'm a little nervous, but my IC says this will develop trust. Putting your hand in an open flame will develop burns was my answer to my IC. Truthfully I know if I'm going to reconcile, I'm going to have to trust that her actions are true. I get no guarantee, nor will anyone else, but if you are reconciling you have to allow the WS to EARN trust. This is difficult but if you are vulnerable to your spouse it does work. 

So my answer on all the right words is vulnerable, exposing yourself and trusting you spouse. This has also helped with opening the lines of communication, something else needed for reconciling. I will also point out that it is absolutely imperative you listen to what your spouse says, absorb it, act on it. I might not be here if we communicated or I had found TAM earlier, I wasn't that lucky though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

drifting on said:


> I have thought of this every day since d-day, I will share my opinion with you as it applies to my situation. I have finally come to my conclusion as to what all the right words are from the OM, vulnerable. The OM expressed his inner most thoughts and feelings (eye roll) to my WW. WW thought he was vulnerable in expressing these thoughts and feelings with her and therefore he must be genuine. Being vulnerable to your spouse does create trust and show your warm inner feelings so to speak. So when OM did this my WW fell like the first domino that then wreaked havoc on two marriages. I wasn't vulnerable according to my IC and myself, I closed off my feelings towards my WW prior to her affair.
> 
> This is something my IC has worked extensively with me, be vulnerable. However, I find at fifteen months from d-day this is very difficult to do. I need to place my heart in my hands and extend my hands towards my WW. After the last time she took care of my heart I'm a little nervous, but my IC says this will develop trust. Putting your hand in an open flame will develop burns was my answer to my IC. Truthfully I know if I'm going to reconcile, I'm going to have to trust that her actions are true. I get no guarantee, nor will anyone else, but if you are reconciling you have to allow the WS to EARN trust. This is difficult but if you are vulnerable to your spouse it does work.
> 
> ...


This is good stuff Drifting. Vulnerability is something I'm going to give some thought to.


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

drifting on said:


> *"He said all the right words..."*


Oh yes... "All the Right Words..."

No offense... but, it's a known fact the path to between her legs *starts between her ears.* 

In my wife's case, she fell for a Predatory Principal at her school. He played the part of the caring, understanding, leader. I always thought it strange, he only hired younger cute teachers. Always listening, always complimenting... they ate it up. They even had a cute-zy name for him "Mr. T". So approachable?

This Sleaze Bag, wrecked at least 1/2 dozen marriages in the County over 15 years before being run off by the Board. My IC guessed his name when I told her he was my wife slept with her principal... no names given. 

Get the point... _"All the right Words", it really doesn't matter what is said. It's what the cheater wants to here._ 

BTW, here's the kicker... years have passed, we are in R. My wife is complaining about her current principal at her new school. She looks at me and says... "Aside from his faults, "Mr. T" was actually a very good principal when it came to doing his job." WTF! :scratchhead: All between the Ears...


----------



## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Last month the ex says to me while begging for my my help with the kids "You're just still upset about me sleeping around with them." Nope I would like to buy them all beers and tell them thank you.

What gets me is how can you ask for help and then try to rub salt in the wound and expect to get what you want?


----------



## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

RWB said:


> In my wife's case, she fell for a Predatory Principle at her school. He played the part of the caring, understanding, leader. I always thought it strange, he only hired younger cute teachers. Always listening, always complimenting... they ate it up. They even had a cute-zy name for him "Mr. T". So approachable?
> 
> BTW, here's the kicker... years have passed, we are in R. *My wife is complaining about her current principle at her new school. She looks at me and says... "Aside from his faults, "Mr. T" was actually a very good principle when it came to doing his job."*


It seems like your wife is at peace with her affair(s) if she feels comfortable bringing up her OM and his good job performance. I would have said: “Maybe if you [email protected] your current principal like Mr. T you would think better of his administrative skills.”


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Just want to add a thought about "all the right words." Cheaters are narcissists. Every last one of them. They come first always, and everyone else (even the OW or OM, ultimately) is a distant second. The OW or OM regularly strokes their needy egos, telling them how "amazing" and "sexy" they are, praising their every accomplishment, no matter how small, like a proud Mommy or Daddy, and saying "Oh, you poor, poor baby" at every minor setback. I've seen some of the texts my STBX was too fog-minded to hide on his phone. Some of their exchanges were sickening - like something you'd expect high school kids to say - and these are a 56 and 53-year-old who were both married for over 20 years and have raised kids.

If a new man ever comes along who I want to be with someday, while I'd like to experience the rush of falling in love again, I hope he won't "love" me just because I "say all the right things."

How arrogant is that? They're not saying they fell for them because they are lovely, giving, exceptional people - they say they did because of the way they made THEM feel.

The abject self-centeredness of that mindset is stupefying.


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

RWB said:


> Oh yes... "All the Right Words..."
> 
> No offense... but, it's a known fact the path to between her legs *starts between her ears.*
> 
> ...



I understand and/or agree with this in parts, but the WS also has a brain. My WW turned away many players with ease prior to this OM. I was vulnerable to WW at that time, when I wasn't WW began to believe my words were simply words because there was no vulnerability by me at that time. I may get the 2X4's for that but simply put, its the truth. I was closed off emotionally. Add a player to the scenario and this brought us to where we are today. 

Today my WW is indifferent to her OM, I'm happy for that. My WW has never spoken good of him once she learned his "all the right words" are lies. This is where it can get tricky, that doesn't mean my WW OM and yours didn't have a good job performance rating, they just sucked at being humans.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## betrayed16 (Oct 23, 2014)

I just got a chuckle thinking back on something my WW said to me after I exposed her affair. She said, "Now I'm never coming back." Cliche, right? Well, I don't know what prompted me, but in response to that, I asked her, "Were you thinking about coming back?" Then her wayward need to not give false hope kicked in, and she said, "No." So I said, "Then what has changed?" Didn't get a response to that one.


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

betrayed16 said:


> I just got a chuckle thinking back on something my WW said to me after I exposed her affair. She said, "Now I'm never coming back." Cliche, right? Well, I don't know what prompted me, but in response to that, I asked her, "Were you thinking about coming back?" Then her wayward need to not give false hope kicked in, and she said, "No." So I said, "Then what has changed?" Didn't get a response to that one.


Similarly, when I told my STBX that one of the hardest things about his affair to deal with was the realization that he is "someone who is capable of cheating," he said, "Well, if you think so little of me, I guess we really shouldn't be together." I said, "I guess not. But actually, the reason we shouldn't be together is you that think so little of me that you flew to another state and spent a week with this person, lied to me and your son about it, and would have continued lying about it indefinitely if you hadn't gotten caught." He just walked away. Guess he didn't have a brilliant response to that one.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

RWB said:


> Oh yes... "All the Right Words..."
> 
> No offense... but, it's a known fact the path to between her legs *starts between her ears.*
> 
> ...


Hey man, get it straight -- it's spelled princi_pal_. That's P-A-L, not P-L-E.

Because the princi_pal_ is your pal!

 :smthumbup: :lol: :rofl:


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Graywolf2 said:


> It seems like your wife is at peace with her affair(s) if she feels comfortable bringing up her OM and his good job performance. I would have said: “Maybe if you [email protected] your current principle like Mr. T you would think better of his administrative skills.”


:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Nomorebeans said:


> Similarly, when I told my STBX that one of the hardest things about his affair to deal with was the realization that he is "someone who is capable of cheating," *he said, "Well, if you think so little of me, I guess we really shouldn't be together."* I said, "I guess not. But actually, the reason we shouldn't be together is you that think so little of me that you flew to another state and spent a week with this person, lied to me and your son about it, and would have continued lying about it indefinitely if you hadn't gotten caught." He just walked away. Guess he didn't have a brilliant response to that one.


LOL. What a f*cking dumb ass. How dare you allow the truth to frame your opinion of him!!!

:lol: :rofl:


----------



## RaceGirl (Apr 13, 2015)

He said, "I thought you were going to leave me."


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

RWB said:


> Oh yes... "All the Right Words..."
> 
> No offense... but, it's a known fact the path to between her legs *starts between her ears.*
> 
> ...


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

The little grey aliens forgot to take the anal probe out of my XWW's a$$ as it traveled all the way to her head and scrambled eggs whatever brains she had left.


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

MattMatt said:


>


MM,

It's been 5+ years since DD. I think the gravity of 7 years of Serial Cheating before being caught (stupid me) is well understood with her. Her remorse, her admission of failure, her reckless behavior is admitted, and has been consistent for years. She knows the score. My own MC gave us a Nil to Nil+?% chance.

But, just as she did when cheating, she is a natural Compartmentalizer, I really don't think she could function day to day dwelling on how far she fell. A few months ago, we got into a stupid normal argument about something I had to do... Blah Blah Blah... and I pulled out the "well at least I've never Trump Card". She responds, you always have to go back my "Moral Failures". 

Your correct in your "Farce" assessment I do believe. 7 years of scheming, lying, blame shifting, and screwing multiple OM wrapped up in a nice tidy bow "Moral Failures". 

Like I've said before, as the years pass, only the BS that chose to R get to live the past and present in some kind of chaotic orbit of emotions... everyone else from aging parents to adult children just says whatever, got my own issues and move on. As it really should be.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> The little grey aliens forgot to take the anal probe out of my XWW's a$$ as it traveled all the way to her head and scrambled eggs whatever brains she had left.


As long as those little grey aliens didn't fry up a pan of bacon to eat with those "eggs," I think that they'll be OK!


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> As long as those little grey aliens didn't fry up a pan of bacon to eat with those "eggs," I think that they'll be OK!


I would feel sorry for them if they did for they would probably come down with a severe case of dumbassery.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

RWB said:


> Like I've said before, as the years pass, only the BS that chose to R get to live the past and present in some kind of chaotic orbit of emotions... everyone else from aging parents to adult children just says whatever, got my own issues and move on. As it really should be.



Lol,

No offense RWB, but I got a thousand-word email today (2 years post divorce) that begs to differ. 

I know what you mean and don't mean to minimize the pains of your R. I'm sure it's rough but when you have kids with someone you have to read what they write you and you can't unread it.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> The little grey aliens forgot to take the anal probe out of my XWW's a$$ as it traveled all the way to her head and scrambled eggs whatever brains she had left.


This would have been more believable than some of the weird storylines my stbx has tried to play out....


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I have just dug this out! http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/128754-examples-cheaters-script-thread-resource.html


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

betrayed16 said:


> I just got a chuckle thinking back on something my WW said to me after I exposed her affair. She said, "*Now* I'm never coming back." Cliche, right? Well, I don't know what prompted me, but in response to that, I asked her, "Were you thinking about coming back?" Then her wayward need to not give false hope kicked in, and she said, "No." So I said, "Then what has changed?" Didn't get a response to that one.


I forgot about one more. The "Now" reminded me of it. When I exposed the affair, in her rage she tried to twist it around on me. "I wanted to be amicable about this but NOW it's going to get ugly!!" Yeah, she wilted shortly after that after she realized she didn't have a leg to stand on. In the end she signed the agreement and it didn't get any uglier. I got lucky in that compared to some divorces.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

TheGoodGuy said:


> I forgot about one more. The "Now" reminded me of it. When I exposed the affair, in her rage she tried to twist it around on me. "I wanted to be amicable about this but NOW it's going to get ugly!!" Yeah, she wilted shortly after that after she realized she didn't have a leg to stand on. In the end she signed the agreement and it didn't get any uglier. I got lucky in that compared to some divorces.



Mine did same. Though, she has no leg to stand on, she wobbles around on nubs telling all who will listen how horrible I am. 

Freaking three years later, I'm trying to live my life, she gets angrier and angrier. Her endurance would be impressive if not for how negatively it affects the kids.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

*(And think)* should be added to the title. 
What she said after we split and I was dating my future Mrs T ? - Oh she's pretty? He doesn't need that!!!!! And she believed it. 

It was a surprise to me how much my EX's self esteem and ego were inflated. She was having an affair and at first I was willing to try to work on things but she wouldn't change her job (thus no contact) so I filed papers and we divorced. When I started dating my wife, the EX called my brother and started asking questions about her. When bro said she was really hot and really nice he said that EX told him Oh he doesn't need that. That's how her rationalizing fog had her thinking. After all her affair was okay because I was such an emotional leper that I deserved to be cheated on.

That's one reason I respect waywards how own what they've done. My EX didn't own it plus she rationalized it away as being okay at my expense. Unrealistic rationalization becomes transparent over time though because history repeats it's self.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> *(And think)* should be added to the title.
> What she said after we split and I was dating my future Mrs T ? - Oh she's pretty? He doesn't need that!!!!! And she believed it.
> 
> It was a surprise to me how much my EX's self esteem and ego were inflated. She was having an affair and at first I was willing to try to work on things but she wouldn't change her job (thus no contact) so I filed papers and we divorced. When I started dating my wife, the EX called my brother and started asking questions about her. When bro said she was really hot and really nice he said that EX told him Oh he doesn't need that. That's how her rationalizing fog had her thinking. After all her affair was okay because I was such an emotional leper that I deserved to be cheated on.
> ...


"
"You didn't need that."

Why? "Because if he has a pretty girlfriend he will not be there for me once my fling is over..."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

1 I just didn't love you anymore - Wish you would have told be BEFORE you had the affair, caught you and then decided to fake R for 4 months and then get caught again.

2. I need to do what's right for me - You and the kids can go fvck yourselves. That includes not speaking to one of your sons for 2 years.

3. You were on the computer too much - But you never, ever once complained about it. Too busy fvcking someone else ?

4. I thought the dog would be good for the kids when I left - This dog has caused close to 2k in damages to my home, chewed rug, wood floor, chewed small holes in walls, chewed sneakers and cloths..


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Thundarr said:


> *(And think)* should be added to the title.
> What she said after we split and I was dating my future Mrs T ? - Oh she's pretty? He doesn't need that!!!!! And she believed it.
> 
> It was a surprise to me how much my EX's self esteem and ego were inflated. She was having an affair and at first I was willing to try to work on things but she wouldn't change her job (thus no contact) so I filed papers and we divorced. When I started dating my wife, the EX called my brother and started asking questions about her. When bro said she was really hot and really nice he said that EX told him Oh he doesn't need that. That's how her rationalizing fog had her thinking. After all her affair was okay because I was such an emotional leper that I deserved to be cheated on.
> ...


Should have told her "Yes, I once believed that I didn't need that too, so I married YOU..."


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Should have told her "Yes, I once believed that I didn't need that too, so I married YOU..."


She didn't say it too me directly and I didn't care what she thought anyway. My brother thought it was funny is why he told me. But you know I put up with a lot of crap from her that I shouldn't have so why would she have thought any differently? She was my training wheels.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Hardtohandle said:


> 1 I just didn't love you anymore - Wish you would have told be BEFORE you had the affair, caught you and then decided to fake R for 4 months and then get caught again.
> 
> 2. I need to do what's right for me - You and the kids can go fvck yourselves. That includes not speaking to one of your sons for 2 years.
> 
> ...


Number 4 brings back memories. When she left she took 2 of the dogs. Both elderly and her "babies". One had cancer bad. About 2 weeks later I come home and they are back in house. She calls me a few hours later with this wonderful speech about how it wasn't fair to the dogs to be living "homeless" like she was because of me of course. She would make this great sacrifice etc. All making herself trying to look unselfish and caring. 

Real story of course is om hated the dogs and he told her if she kept them he would throw her out. I knew this before she had even called me as the om had informed several of my friends this.

She was trying to spin the caring about them and all it was was her selfish desire to stay with Mr. Perfect and what they will throw away to keep affair land going. Those dogs meant the world to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> 1 I just didn't love you anymore - Wish you would have told be BEFORE you had the affair, caught you and then decided to fake R for 4 months and then get caught again.
> 
> 2. I need to do what's right for me - You and the kids can go fvck yourselves. That includes not speaking to one of your sons for 2 years.
> 
> ...


But in fairness to the dog he *still* did only 1% of the damage your WW caused.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

"I'm glad I cheated, I just knew you would show your angry side."

huh?


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

"She is a good person, she doesn't care about my money"


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> "She is a good person, she doesn't care about my money"


Perfect response...

"Let's find out, shall we?"


----------



## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> "I really didn't like her all that much," says he even after irrefutable evidence that he was more generous with her than with me had surfaced.
> 
> Men, explain to me that logic.


He's a selfish, lying dog.


----------



## Asclepius (Feb 4, 2014)

" I didn't know how it happened, it just did." (Well, went on for 1 year and caught you Three time, i guess maybe some things happen over and over and over again....)

" I didn't mean to hurt you. It was just there and I was bored and lonely." (And yet you made the conscious decision to go to him, drive 50 miles on to F*** with him, and lie to me about it. DId i mention they did it on my day's off? LOL:scratchhead


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

michzz said:


> "I'm glad I cheated, I just knew you would show your angry side."
> 
> huh?


That crap makes my blood boil.


----------



## musk-rat (Mar 10, 2015)

The latest from my WW.

Her: "We will still talk everyday and be the best of friends." Me: "why would I want to be friends with someone like you?" I never got an answer. :scratchhead:

Her: "I love you." Me: "OK." Her: "Why don't you say it back to me." Me: no response. I am dumbfounded at her logic. I seem the affair fog is thick in this ones head.


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> But in fairness to the dog he *still* did only 1% of the damage your WW caused.


How can I explain this, Deep down I know me having the dog is part of the reason why the kids stayed with me.. I don't think she realized how it would backfire on her. 

Even today 2 years later I asked my youngest if he shows his mom the crazy stuff the dog does. He tells me she sort of looks away when he shows her what the dog does or did in picture or video. 
Its sort of a blow off like *"Oh, thats nice"* and then walks away..

Every Monday and Tuesday when we talk he asks me what the dog is doing or if he did anything funny.. He loves that dog..

MattMatt, I blame my Ex wife for everyone wrong today.. I get into a fight with my GF, I blame my Ex.. 

1. If she wasn't such fvcking A$$hole and just spoke to me like an adult. Instead of doing all this sh!t, we could have fixed ourselves and had an even better marriage.. Instead I am arguing with a woman ( my GF) that just shouldn't exist in *theory*.. 

2. Regardless of any therapy I go to and I go every Wednesday like religion.. I'm still wounded and nobody really understands the pain unless they been through it.. This whole ordeal no matter how great it ended up for me, was and in some ways still painful. 

But back on track from the derail

5. I don't know if I can do this, you're so angry - Umm maybe if I didn't keep catching you sneaking around during our fake R I wouldn't be so angry ?

6. **At couple therapy** - He gets so mad and angry, I'm afraid - The therapist responds, dear can you blame him ? You're sleeping with another man.


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Hardtohandle said:


> 6. **At couple therapy** - He gets so mad and angry, I'm afraid - The therapist responds, dear can you blame him ? You're sleeping with another man.


This.


----------



## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Said during MC;

WW, I knew he loved me, but I didn't think he would get this bad.
Me, what???
Therapist, from the moment you started therapy I could see he loves you deeply.

WW, I apologize to you both for lying in therapy (me and MC). 
Me, why didn't you tell me instead of watching me go down in flames?
Therapist, said to wife, you understand how much you have jeopardized your chances of reconciliation? How much you have jeopardized the integrity of therapy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> 6. **At couple therapy** - He gets so mad and angry, I'm afraid - The therapist responds, dear can you blame him ? You're sleeping with another man.


Technically not "Couple Therapy" when there's a third party involved. 

The cheaters' mastery of the "sleight-of-hand" is amazing.

"Look, look, look how angry and horrible he is. Pay no mind to me fooking this dude over here."


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

When questioning my wife about the 1st time she had sex with boss (princiPAL, thanks Gus)...

Paraphrased...

Me, "How long before you decided to have Sex with him?"
Her, *"I didn't, it just happened."*
Me, "You had been making out for weeks after school and on Saturdays in his private office. You made up some lie about a long shopping trip. Instead, drove over to his house. Already planned on being alone with him for hours. And... you didn't think Sex was now on the agenda?"

Her, *"I guess it was a possibility." *... exact words

Seriously... just another vain attempt to shed guilt and responsibility with the "it just happened, a possibility" defense. Actually right out of the Cheaters Handbook, Chapter: _OK, So You Just Got Caught._


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

RWB said:


> Seriously... just another vain attempt to shed guilt and responsibility with the "it just happened, a possibility" defense. Actually right out of the Cheaters Handbook, Chapter: _OK, So You Just Got Caught._


Someone has to actually make a book called Cheaters handbook. and that is a must title for that chapter


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Yep, that's probably my favorite: It just happened.

It just happened that you got sloppy drunk (which I've only ever seen him do twice in all the years I've known him), made out with her at her car RIGHT AFTER A FUNERAL, called and texted her every day thereafter, flew back up there for five days a couple months later and stayed with her in her house, fvcked her repeatedly, had dinner with her daughters and OUR friends like you were already an established couple and I didn't exist, and lied to me about all of it.

I actually said just about all of that to him in response.

He goes, "I mean, it just happened that I met her like I did."

I meet a lot of men. Some very attractive, even. It doesn't then just happen that I do all those other things.

Cold-hearted snake.

(The important thing is I'm not bitter.)


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> Yep, that's probably my favorite: It just happened.
> 
> It just happened that you got sloppy drunk (which I've only ever seen him do twice in all the years I've known him), made out with her at her car RIGHT AFTER A FUNERAL, called and texted her every day thereafter, flew back up there for five days a couple months later and stayed with her in her house, fvcked her repeatedly, had dinner with her daughters and OUR friends like you were already an established couple and I didn't exist, and lied to me about all of it.
> 
> ...


At least he didn't use "it was fate that led us to meet like we did" 

You got a long ways to go before you enter the bitter classification :lol:


----------



## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

honcho said:


> At least he didn't use "it was fate that led us to meet like we did"
> 
> You got a long ways to go before you enter the bitter classification :lol:


More like "it was feet that led us to meet like we did"


----------



## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> Yep, that's probably my favorite: It just happened.
> 
> It just happened that you got sloppy drunk (which I've only ever seen him do twice in all the years I've known him), made out with her at her car RIGHT AFTER A FUNERAL, called and texted her every day thereafter, flew back up there for five days a couple months later and stayed with her in her house, fvcked her repeatedly, had dinner with her daughters and OUR friends like you were already an established couple and I didn't exist, and lied to me about all of it.
> 
> ...


If they didn't immediately call you asking what's going on it's safe to assume they were never _your_ friends, just his.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> More like "it was feet that led us to meet like we did"


"It was feet that led us to mate like we did."


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Another one I remembered from posting in another thread here.

When I caught her the first time..

ME - What were you gonna do at the hotel at the airport ?
HER - We were just gonna talk.

I couldn't help but laugh.

I had her repeat that line to her parents when they came to pick her up.. Her mother for the first time cursed.. 
Her moms comment was 
*"Are you fvcking kidding me ?, Talk ! ?.. What are we 10 years old, do we look that stupid ?.. Get your bags and lets go. This is ridiculous. Now you decide to do this !, Now after getting married and having a child !?.. What is wrong with you. I don't even know what I raised up, I thought you were better than this"*


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Hardtohandle said:


> Another one I remembered from posting in another thread here.
> 
> When I caught her the first time..
> 
> ...


Love the MIL response!


----------



## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

"I thought because as a young man that took on so much - an older woman who already had kids - that would make up for what I was doing behind your back."

He also reminded me he sometimes did dishes and cooked.

I could not even respond to this stupid remark and reminded him that he was to be gone by x time and he only had a few minutes left, therefore he should continue packing his suitcase.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Hardtohandle said:


> *ME - "What were you gonna do at the hotel at the airport?"
> HER - "We were just gonna talk!"*


*Yeah! Airport hotel rooms and suites are absolutely marvelous places "to talk"... more especially in conveying to them exactly where to put it and how to do it!*


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

My POS STBXH recently admitted he and the OW are planning for her to move here and in with him from another state in October (why that's the Magic Month, I don't know). He has seen this woman once since he met her last September.

He claims he's "not rushing into anything" with her by doing this because he "barely knows her!" He got the second part right.

Good thing he's leaving a 25-year marriage and a 13-year-old son behind for someone he barely knows.

We just both shake our heads in disgust at pretty much every word he says at this point.


----------



## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

WW didn't say a whole lot when I confronted her. In fact she faked fainting just to make me stop pointing out how sh*tty having an A had been. When she "came to" I told her OM was truly a large POS. To which she asked what that made her. I was so angry I said "if the shoe fits..........".

Later on she minimizes what happened as "they just talked too much". I guess telling the POSOM she was "head over heels in love with him and if that wasn't his favorite position she's flexible" was just that, too much talking. Ok and now I know why she has brown eyes. She is so full of crap.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> "I thought the marriage was already over." (Would have been nice of you to tell me that.)


Oh I love that one!! That was my exww. She leaves, than I ask if there's someone else. "Does it really matter? The marriage was over anyway". Uhhh, it was? Isn't that fascinating. I had no idea.

Unbelievable.


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> "Matt, I'd like you to meet XXXX. I really think you'll like him!"
> 
> And bless her, she sprung a meeting between her lover and me.
> 
> ...


Jesus!


----------



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

SamuraiJack said:


> My favorite ( after seeing a strange car parked in her drive less than 3 weeks after she moved into her house...at 9:15AM on a Sunday.
> 
> "Oh that was just a co-worker who came over to help with my plumbing."
> 
> ...


"Plumbing". I bet. Drain the pipes, tighten the faucet, plug the drain, scour the bowl...


----------



## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

Hardtohandle said:


> Another one I remembered from posting in another thread here.
> 
> When I caught her the first time..
> 
> ...


Whole lot of "talking" going on isn't it?

Amazing how lame the excuses are. Funny or maybe it isn't so funny how my WW said her and POSOM "talked too much". And she was right about that. I have month after month of her cell phone calls she made to POSOM. Most months it was 20% or more of the total minutes used each month. So yeah there was a lot of talking too much.

She had no problem talking to POSOM but when confronted about the whole thing one of the things she said was he would tell her often how beautiful she was. My reply "if you had a problem with me not telling you that enough you couldn't talk to me about it? You had no problem talking to that schmuck and buying his load of crap." Just lame excuses. It's worse than catching a little kid in a lie and they tell another to get out of it.


----------



## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

One that I just remembered. He actually said, I didn't choose her over you, I was having sex with you too,


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

"You'll be fine". 

With what?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Healer said:


> Jesus!


Mmm, yes. But then seeing how emotionally distraught folks are when they accidentally discover their wife or husband is cheating on them, I think maybe my wife had a point?


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Mmm, yes. But then seeing how emotionally distraught folks are when they accidentally discover their wife or husband is cheating on them, I think maybe my wife had a point?


:slap:


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

My STBXH, who has now moved out, thank God, called me last night (which he's doing a lot more now that he's moved out than he has in the last few years - go figure).

He mentioned seeing our neighbor across the street, who is married and has a 7-year-old daughter, at the mall with a woman who is not his wife seeming like he was possibly involved in "something" with her. I, of course, said, "Pig."

STBXH goes, "[His wife] will be all right. She has her career and is doing her own thing, anyway."

Are.you.fvcking.kidding.me? I wanted to go off on him about what a horrible, insensitive, insane thing that is to think, because I certainly haven't been "all right" with his affair and the fact that he's left me to be with her, throwing me and our son under the bus so that Daddy can be happy, because he so deserves to be, and no one else matters. But I'm trying to keep it "all business" with him, now, so I just said "I doubt very much that she will be 'all right' if he is indeed having an affair and is about to drop that nuclear bomb on her and [their daughter's] lives." He just restated the same stupid s*** like a broken record, and I changed the subject back to our son, which was supposedly the reason he had called.

Unbelievable. Maybe he and d!ckhead neighbor can form a Cheaters Club and recruit all their cheater friends, so they can sit around and justify each other's appalling behavior.


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

(When talking about exposing the affair to the OM's wife) 

"you better be careful, if he is single who knows what might happen"


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

(Within days of the affair being discovered)

"you are not going to hold this over my head forever, I won't stand for that"


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ScrambledEggs said:


> (When talking about exposing the affair to the OM's wife)
> 
> "you better be careful, if he is single who knows what might happen"


LOL... what?!?



ScrambledEggs said:


> (Within days of the affair being discovered)
> 
> "*you are not going to hold this over my head forever*, I won't stand for that"


Well... given that you're preparing to file, I guess she was right!

:smthumbup:


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> My STBXH, who has now moved out, thank God, called me last night (which he's doing a lot more now that he's moved out than he has in the last few years - go figure).
> 
> He mentioned seeing our neighbor across the street, who is married and has a 7-year-old daughter, at the mall with a woman who is not his wife seeming like he was possibly involved in "something" with her. I, of course, said, "Pig."
> 
> ...


Cheaters Club is right. I am sure seeing your neighbor with a strange woman left STBX oddly comforted that "hey everyone is doing it"

Yeah, they all want to believe the family they drop a bomb on with be alright...So they can ride of on their Unicorn with none of that pesky guilt...Oh wait they don't feel guilt about anything:slap:


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

kristin2349 said:


> Cheaters Club is right. I am sure seeing your neighbor with a strange woman left STBX oddly comforted that "hey everyone is doing it"
> 
> Yeah, they all want to believe the family they drop a bomb on with be alright...So they can ride of on their Unicorn with none of that pesky guilt...Oh wait they don't feel guilt about anything:slap:


No ****, huh?

Well, they do feel guilty, but only if they miss a date with the AP. The spouse and responsibilities are always getting in the way of personal gratification.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Heard a new one last night when we were discussing an indiscretion of 16 years ago.

'I was weak"
"we were both to blame, our marriage was in a bad place"

WTF !

My H has learnt nothing at all, still the same self serving, self centred POS he has always been. Sorry for venting ........my day will come.....


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Mmm, yes. But then seeing how emotionally distraught folks are when they accidentally discover their wife or husband is cheating on them, I think maybe my wife had a point?


Matt, I love ya man. I really do. 

But I think I speak on behalf of all the people on TAM who know you and like you that I wish you would stop telling that story about your fWW. You make yourself look like a total pincushion. 

You do understand that there is nothing normal or acceptable about how she convinced herself that cheating on you with another man would be no big deal and that it wouldn't bother you as long as she told you beforehand?


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Matt, I love ya man. I really do.
> 
> But I think I speak on behalf of all the people on TAM who know you and like you that I wish you would stop telling that story about your fWW. You make yourself look like a total pincushion.
> 
> You do understand that there is nothing normal or acceptable about how she convinced herself that cheating on you with another man would be no big deal and that it wouldn't bother you as long as she told you beforehand?


That's pretty much what all justification is about. In his case, she can say she was honest and so justify keeping some integrity. It's messed up for sure. 

I didn't realize she did that. Glad he could get it out and get a great validating response. 

She was wrong Matt. No matter how she justifies, it was wrong. Let go of the guilt. You didn't do that or force her to do it. She had choices. 

Besides, don't we all have enough of our own problems to deal with? We don't need to take on someone else's issues. Wishing you the best, Matt.


----------



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

The funniest one that I recall, is not from my WW, but from another poster's WW. The BH asked her why she and the OM didn't have sex in their bed, since apparently they had it everywhere else. 

His WW told him "that would have been disrespectful".


----------



## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

badmemory said:


> His WW told him "that would have been disrespectful".


Oh such honor among cheaters!


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

aine said:


> Heard a new one last night when we were discussing an indiscretion of 16 years ago.
> 
> 'I was weak"
> "we were both to blame, our marriage was in a bad place"
> ...


And who got their rocks off? Doesn't that count for something? I guess it's time for some revenge pleasure of some kind? Passive aggressive behavior is okay? I think it's childish to act that way and then blame it on someone else. In my mind, it's akin to blaming the abused for the making the abuser angry. No way, sorry.


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

I forgot this one from my WW.

"If you do ever did it (cheat) to me I would leave you"


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> And who got their rocks off? Doesn't that count for something? I guess it's time for some revenge pleasure of some kind? Passive aggressive behavior is okay? I think it's childish to act that way and then blame it on someone else. In my mind, it's akin to blaming the abused for the making the abuser angry. No way, sorry.


I wouldn't mind but we are trying to make this marriage work but it looks like he hasn't changed his tune much at all. At present I am sleeping in the guest bedroom, I just have to hold on till the end of the year and if he is not doing any heavy lifting I am gone. So angry right now


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

ScrambledEggs said:


> I forgot this one from my WW.
> 
> "If you do ever did it (cheat) to me I would leave you"


This made me LOL - the double standards are amazing, are they all drugged or something? :scratchhead:


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

aine said:


> I wouldn't mind but we are trying to make this marriage work but it looks like he hasn't changed his tune much at all. At present I am sleeping in the guest bedroom, I just have to hold on till the end of the year and if he is not doing any heavy lifting I am gone. So angry right now


Actually, I was complaining about him...or any WS who is in the fog.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

ScrambledEggs said:


> I forgot this one from my WW.
> 
> "If you do ever did it (cheat) to me I would leave you"


I forgot all about it till you wrote this. A couple weeks before the meltdown she went out under "girls night out" angle and came home about 3am. Told her I wasn't happy how late it was and she proclaimed
You don't own me and I can do whatever I want but I better not think that I could do the same.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Maybe this goes more in the "Rewriting History" thread, but lately my STBX is telling all our local neighbors and friends that he just moved out because we "mutually decided to separate," it's "totally amicable," and "we're still good friends and always will be."

Yes, we mutually decided that since he is fvcking someone else, it would be better if he didn't continue to live with me, it's amicable only because it would damage our son to hear me say what I really think of him, and that whole friends bit is a complete fantasy of his alone.

I generally don't bald-faced lie to my friends, talk trash about them behind their backs, and commit acts I know would devastate them emotionally if they knew. Maybe that's just me.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Nomorebeans said:


> Maybe this goes more in the "Rewriting History" thread, but lately my STBX is telling all our local neighbors and friends that he just moved out because we "mutually decided to separate," it's "totally amicable," and "we're still good friends and always will be."
> 
> Yes, we mutually decided that since he is fvcking someone else, it would be better if he didn't continue to live with me, it's amicable only because it would damage our son to hear me say what I really think of him, and that whole friends bit is a complete fantasy of his alone.
> 
> I generally don't bald-faced lie to my friends, talk trash about them behind their backs, and commit acts I know would devastate them emotionally if they knew. Maybe that's just me.


I do hope that you're setting everyone straight.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> Maybe this goes more in the "Rewriting History" thread, but lately my STBX is telling all our local neighbors and friends that he just moved out because we "mutually decided to separate," it's "totally amicable," and "we're still good friends and always will be."
> 
> Yes, we mutually decided that since he is fvcking someone else, it would be better if he didn't continue to live with me, it's amicable only because it would damage our son to hear me say what I really think of him, and that whole friends bit is a complete fantasy of his alone.
> 
> I generally don't bald-faced lie to my friends, talk trash about them behind their backs, and commit acts I know would devastate them emotionally if they knew. Maybe that's just me.


Your going to be better off long term just being straightforward and honest about the situation. You need not get into the gory details and the emotions of it all. Just stick with the basics facts and be done with it. 

Your in essence protecting him and his image if you aren't. He wants to keep his "secret" and look like a great guy. Rumor mills can quickly take on a life of there own. I spent a long time doing damage control saying all the politically correct sayings trying to not have the world know what's going on and it just made it worse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

I hear you, Gus and honcho.

No worries. I am setting them straight. Like you say, I don't go into the gory details. But I do let them know the facts of the matter. For instance, yesterday the next-door-neighbor walked over when we were both outside and goes "How are you holding up, honey? [Your husband] told us he was moving out last weekend. I'm really sorry. I'm sure it must be hard for you both." I go, "Thank you. In all fairness, though, it's a little harder for me than it is for him, since he's leaving for another woman. She'll be moving in with him once the divorce is final." She goes, "Wow. He didn't mention that." I go, "No, I'm sure he didn't."


----------



## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

This one changed everything, was the begining of the end.

"Dot you ever get tired of begging" 

This is an acurate but softened translation from a expression on my leguage.

I believed I was doing it for the both of us, i was very mistaken.

After that I stoped, she noticed asked what happened denyed saying that and started begging. We lasted just a couple of months from the day she said it, but she kept begging. After 5 years she called to meet to tell me her current BF (last OM) just propossed, she brokedow informed him that still loved me and left him. She asked me if I ever would take her back, she started begging again...told me that poor OM has been in great pain for years as she made clear from the begining that she was stil in love with me...

We are not toguether, and they have 2 kids now. Her words changed me forever.


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

This one is fresh. Meme posted today on face book:

"Destined to be an old women with no regrets"

I have half a mind to call her out on FB,

"Really? No regrets? How about when you....."


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ScrambledEggs said:


> This one is fresh. Meme posted today on face book:
> 
> "Destined to be an old women with no regrets"
> 
> ...


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ScrambledEggs said:


> This one is fresh. Meme posted today on face book:
> 
> "Destined to be an old women with no regrets"
> 
> ...


*Hey, Eggs: Go for it! It would truly be one classic Mothers Day gift ~ literally the gift that would keep on giving!*


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Suspecting2014 said:


> This one changed everything, was the begining of the end.
> 
> "Dot you ever get tired of begging"
> 
> ...


Well, you know she is lying through her cheating teeth? She only tells you that so she can get back in your wallet.

Sheezus...these waywards are something else. They actually think they can keep fooling everyone with their bs. Did you tell her how pathetic she sounded? Poor baby..


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Well, you know she is lying through her cheating teeth? She only tells you that so she can get back in your wallet.
> 
> 
> 
> Sheezus...these waywards are something else. They actually think they can keep fooling everyone with their bs. Did you tell her how pathetic she sounded? Poor baby..



For many, it never stops. 

They'll stick to their story until the day they die. 

A habit borne from the long term betrayal.


----------



## Suspecting2014 (Jun 11, 2014)

Ceegee said:


> For many, it never stops.
> 
> They'll stick to their story until the day they die.
> 
> A habit borne from the long term betrayal.


I think she believed everything she was saying at the time, she was really worry for me leaving her. But in less than 24 hrs, once I begged her again to stop cheating, she went back to her ways every time until She said that “magical” words that opened my eyes. Next time she was pretty shocked that I didn’t even spoke to her when she was caught. That’s when she started crying and begging and doing all I ever asked, too little too late.

She never apologized. All her begging was never about what she did or that she could change, just for me not to leave. The closer I ever get was “I know I did stupid stuff to you” 5 years later.

To these days I believe she felt entitled to cheat and have fun. I was like a father telling a teenager to behave and being ignored. 

Of course never came clean and only admitted what I could prove. 

Now is OM problem, no my circus no my monkey

BTW she was very jealous.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Ceegee said:


> bandit.45 said:
> 
> 
> > Well, you know she is lying through her cheating teeth? She only tells you that so she can get back in your wallet.
> ...


*...and then being so brazen enough to even lie to God about it at judgment!*


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *...and then being so brazen enough to even lie to God about it at judgment!*


I truly do not believe this can happen. It's all exposed and we cannot lie. We then choose whether we want to be there or some other not so nice place, thereby accepting what was already known was going to happen. Maybe not so biblical? I don't know.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> I truly do not believe this can happen. It's all exposed and we cannot lie. We then choose whether we want to be there or some other not so nice place, thereby accepting what was already known was going to happen. Maybe not so biblical? I don't know.



I don't know what you are trying to say. 

The rationalization hamster keeps running. It doesn't stop - as if powered by the Energizer bunny. 

I am literally talking to POSOMXW about her D10 figuring out that her dad was having an affair while getting an email from XW filled with rage and anger because I ratted them out to her. This is three years old now. 

It hasn't subsided. It's gotten worse. Much worse. 

She will go to her grave denying everything.

They can and will lie. It's what they're best at. It's been exposed high and low.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Ceegee said:


> I don't know what you are trying to say.
> 
> The rationalization hamster keeps running. It doesn't stop - as if powered by the Energizer bunny.
> 
> ...


I get lulls in the storm where she recharges her batteries. They need to have the drama going in some way. Heck I have pictures, every single person I know has seen the pictures thanks to the OM and his zest for sharing yet in her head it "never happened".


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

meh, no kids, once the papers are inked I there is literally no power of any kind left to wield over me.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Ceegee said:


> I don't know what you are trying to say.
> 
> The rationalization hamster keeps running. It doesn't stop - as if powered by the Energizer bunny.
> 
> ...


I assure you, I was responding to arb. Sorry you misunderstood. I can understand why you would feel frustrated after reading your post here. 

Oh, I don't doubt your ex will lie till the day she dies. 

I commented that I don't believe it's biblical, but I don't think a soul can stand in front of it's maker and lie. 

She just needs a little drama in her life. Do you know anyone looking for a date. Refer him/them to her. If she feels like she is wanted, she may feel a little better. 

Know any women looking to date? Tell them OM is looking for a date.

Edit: Then, when his BS calls you to tell you all about it, ask her to meet you somewhere nice and have a few drinks and a nice light meal. That bastard had no mercy on you. You don't owe him a damn thing and neither does his BS. Takes balls to do it...great big brass balls.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

> *I commented that I don't believe it's biblical, but I don't think a soul can stand in front of it's maker and lie.*


*

 A soul can and will definitely stand before God ~ but that doesn't mean that they won't attempt to deceive Him. The Bible is replete with many such incidents with people who tried that!*


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

ScrambledEggs said:


> meh, no kids, once the papers are inked I there is literally no power of any kind left to wield over me.


I only get to dream about final papers. Ill die of old age before my divorce ever gets done. So glad she wanted a fast divorce. Now if team crazy would quit filing for delays.....


----------



## DoveEnigma13 (Oct 31, 2013)

Ooh ooh. I got a good one.

"I knew he was a good guy because he didn't have sex with me right away"


----------



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

DoveEnigma13 said:


> Ooh ooh. I got a good one.
> 
> "I knew he was a good guy because he didn't have sex with me right away"


WOW


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

DoveEnigma13 said:


> Ooh ooh. I got a good one.
> 
> "I knew he was a good guy because he didn't have sex with me right away"


Right. Like every PUA site/book has a whole section on manipulating women over this very question.


----------



## CTPlay (Apr 26, 2015)

"He didn't want sex with me. I forced him to."


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

DoveEnigma13 said:


> Ooh ooh. I got a good one.
> 
> "I knew he was a good guy because he didn't have sex with me right away"





CTPlay said:


> "He didn't want sex with me. I forced him to."


That settles it. At least they found good men with character :laugh:. Forget the whole cheating aspect. It's not important.

Sarcasm applied.


----------



## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

A new one today: I want the kids to know that I didn't REALLY cheat on you. They need to know the truth that I am not a bad person.

LMAO. Denial is such a long, long river.


----------



## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

POSOMXW said her XH told her that she made him cheat. Then said she better be careful because she'll make her new BF cheat too. 

This while my XW continues to deny cheating.


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Ceegee said:


> POSOMXW said her XH told her that she made him cheat. Then said she better be careful because she'll make her new BF cheat too.
> 
> This while my XW continues to deny cheating.


Its true. Mere days in the presence of a betrayed spouse cascades a moral decay in all of those around them.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

where_are_we said:


> A new one today: I want the kids to know that I didn't REALLY cheat on you. They need to know the truth that I am not a bad person.
> 
> LMAO. Denial is such a long, long river.


ugh. It amazes me how cheaters manage to hide the truth from themselves.


----------



## DoveEnigma13 (Oct 31, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> That settles it. At least they found good men with character :laugh:. Forget the whole cheating aspect. It's not important.
> 
> Sarcasm applied.


Yeah. I tell ya, honorable guy to not sleep with another man's wife right away. Freaking saint.


----------



## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

And the latest:

"You have no compassion. You don't understand what I've been going through all these years. If you could just have some faith and grace you would see that we can have the marriage we deserve!"


"You don't really want a divorce, you are still in shock. You NEED me. You can't be alone. We can't afford to be divorced......etc."


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

DoveEnigma13 said:


> Yeah. I tell ya, honorable guy to not sleep with another man's wife right away. Freaking saint.


Of course most who step out on their partner eventually realize the person they're stepped out with was a turd. They might try to shine that turd but they still know it's just a shiny turd. They might try to blame shift but down deep they know they were wrong. Then there are a small percent who believe their own rationalization and will not learn.


----------



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

I know I "hurt" you.

She added quotes.


----------



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> Of course most who step out on their partner eventually realize the person they're stepped out with was a turd. They might try to shine that turd but they still know it's just a shiny turd. They might try to blame shift but down deep they know they were wrong. Then there are a small percent who believe their own rationalization and will not learn.


Wishful thinking?


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

where_are_we said:


> And the latest:
> 
> "You have no compassion. You don't understand what I've been going through all these years. If you could just have some faith and grace you would see that we can have the marriage we deserve!"
> 
> ...


Compassion:


----------

