# No trust with the wife!!!



## makaveli (Jul 8, 2010)

I have previously put a thread out here about my situation with my wife. So to start where I left off at...me and my wife have been really good with each other. We are probably as good or even better then we were before the infidelity. 

My wife is in a class for 6 weeks so she is not at her current job until the class is over. The man she was involved with works in her workcenter. I noticed on the phone bills that she calls her workcenter on her breaks probably once a day or so for like 8 to 10 minutes a piece. I confronted her about them and she tells me that she has to talk to her boss about work.

All of that sounded very suspiscious to me but I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Well last week, the man she was involved with was gone for training for the whole week and I noticed she never called her workcenter once. Well he is back this week and what do you know...she called the first day he was back. Gut feeling telling me that she called him. I could confront her about it but I don't want to cause unecessary drama if it turns out that she really was just talking to her boss. Just when I think I can start to trust her again...those feelings of being lied to come back! What should I do?


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Dude, seriously, what does the gut say to you?,,I know what it says to me!!!..of course she still 'talks' to him:scratchhead:..hopefully that's all, but go with the gut, and you'll never be able to 'trust' her again, it's one of the effects.

Some people can look past and deal with infidelity, and some cannot, ask yourself this, when you two are laying next to each other, do you wonder if she is thinking about HIM?


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Dealing with the issue of your spouse working with the OM is never easy. Even in light of the W promising that there will be no contact, you will always have that niggling thought in your mind. 

At this point, you already know the answer to your question, the evidence points to continued contact. Now is the time to make the hard choice of where to go from here.

So your first choice must be to continue the work or move on. Until you make that choice, the rest is academic at this point.


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

Follow your gut and assume the worst. 

Speak to her again, face to face, no fighting just clinical. This is not a debate you are not expecting a response just say you are still in contact with the other man, you are damaging our relationship by your actions, I love you but I do not love this side of you –this is a lying cheating side where deceit and affairs are the order of the day. We need to rebuild the trust between us. 

Are you going to stop the affair, --- she may waffle about space and time to think or say she has already.. 

Reemphasis that she must have no contact with the other man (OM) ----you cannot force this. . 

Have her draw up a no contact letter, you need to read it first and it must be signed and posted to him, Email copy sent to him as well. 

Assume the affair may continue just deeper. 

Find Plan A on this forum. Read and start the processes 

Gather more evidence ie. Time of calls, look for emails, text messages and there contents. But do not stress about this to much, you will affect your well being. 

Be ready to out her at the workplace, do not be scared to do this. Most HR departments in companies have a dim view of this kind of behaviour, anyway you need to make the OM’s life difficult and keep him at bay. 

Ultimately you do not want to be in a position where you are monitoring her all the time.. 

Your other threads may have picked similar advice already..


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