# Family still has relationship with my exhusband



## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

My aunt still continues to talk to my ex husband. During our divorce she supported him and continued to talk to him she says because of the kids. He has three children from a previous relationship and she felt no one was there for them. She then took he's kids for the summer, never asked to take my daughter. Then she had my ex husband and the woman he cheated on me with at her house hanging out they also went out to dinner. Her point of view is that she shouldn't have to pick sides during a divorce. 

I would like other opinions please


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your aunt is free to associate with whomever she choses.

You are also free to associate with whomever you choose.

Were I you, I would not chose to associate with that aunt.


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Your aunt is free to associate with whomever she choses.
> 
> You are also free to associate with whomever you choose.
> 
> Were I you, I would not chose to associate with that aunt.


Thank you- I no longer speak to her but just needed a sounding board. If I was over reacting


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does this aunt not like you for some reason? 

I have no problem with family members being friends with ex's. Mine is a very large family. I have 7 siblings and a few dozen nieces and nephews. There have been divorces in the family. Some of the ex's are still friends with members of our family. But those are the ones who did not cheat or otherwise harm their spouse.


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Does this aunt not like you for some reason?
> 
> I have no problem with family members being friends with ex's. Mine is a very large family. I have 7 siblings and a few dozen nieces and nephews. There have been divorces in the family. Some of the ex's are still friends with members of our family. But those are the ones who did not cheat or otherwise harm their spouse.


We were best friends, the closest of all my family members. That is the very odd thing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

That is odd.

He cheated on you. His affair partner was part of the affair. 

Have your parents noticed this? If so, what do they say?


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> That is odd.
> 
> He cheated on you. His affair partner was part of the affair.
> 
> Have your parents noticed this? If so, what do they say?


My parents and some family members have also stopped speaking to her. She says she still keeps in contact with him because of he's three children she feels sorry for them. Having dinner with the other woman and my ex she admitted was a mistake but nonetheless still speaks to him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Where the kids at the dinner?

Don't those kids have a mother?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Oh yea, I remember your other thread. 

Your husband has 3 kids from a previous marriage.

He cheated with the neighbor lady, moved in with her. Divorced you and married the neighbor. So now they have 7 children between them.

Where is the mother of his kids?


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Where the kids at the dinner?
> 
> Don't those kids have a mother?


Yes the kids were at dinner. No I raised them my ex no longer allows me to speak to them and they do not have a relationship with their biological mom. For me it was a very hard struggle because he doesn't allow me any relationship with them but he allows my aunt. I feel like my aunt enabled he's behavior.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is your aunt very lonely? Sometime people will just hang on to anyone who pays them attention because they are lonely.

Why is the bio mother not in the picture?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

My family still has a relationship with my sister's ex husband. He had a son from a previous marriage when he married my sister who was also divorced. His son was treated as part of our family and like the kids my wife and her husband had. He was with us for all the holidays and special occasions. My wife's ex is a great guy. The problem was that he was much older than my sister and was an old man with heart problems when my sister was still young enough to go clubbing on weekends. Plus he was a popular singer and was gone every weekend. My sister attended all wedding, family events and parties, alone. 

Her husband took care of my parents, mowed their lawn, painted their house and was their handiman. My folks loved him as did we. He was the type of guy who would give you the shirt off his back and despite his fame, he never acted like it. So when they split we were mad at my sister, not him. I did not talk to my sister for almost a year for discarding her husband due to his age. She said he cheated on her but she had to know he was doing that since he was a very good looking man and women threw their panties at him at every concert I attended. I suspect that my wife was also cheating since when they divorced she had a new boyfriend very quickly and used to go out with her cheating girlfriends. More people cheat than people are aware of. A lot more never get caught than do. 

We sent him birthday cards and went to the wedding of his son from his first wife. He has a good relationship with my sister since he is a nice guy. We all follow him on instagram and he sends up pictures of his grandchildren and his. He got scooped up by a woman who has money and his is her trophy husband, I guess. She moved him in and they are very happy together. He does not sing as much as he used to and his heart problem had gotten worse. No one has a problem with us staying in touch with him and his son. He is still considered part of the family, even though my sister divorced him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Vinnydee,

The OP raised her husband's children by another woman for 7 years. Then he started an affair with a neighbor, moved in, divorced the OP and married the neighbor.

Now the OP is not allowed to see the children that she raised for 7 years.

Her ex is not a good guy like your sister's ex. That's the point in her asking.


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Is your aunt very lonely? Sometime people will just hang on to anyone who pays them attention because they are lonely.
> 
> Why is the bio mother not in the picture?


Biological mom left them with my ex when they were very young. She was young and I think she just didn't want the responsibility of having three kids. She has moved on to have 7 more kids none of which live with her. She never looked for the kids throughout the years. The one time we heard from her she wanted money that the state gave to my ex for back child support.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Alaina88 said:


> My aunt still continues to talk to my ex husband. During our divorce she supported him and continued to talk to him she says because of the kids. He has three children from a previous relationship and she felt no one was there for them. She then took he's kids for the summer, never asked to take my daughter. Then she had my ex husband and the woman he cheated on me with at her house hanging out they also went out to dinner. Her point of view is that she shouldn't have to pick sides during a divorce.
> 
> I would like other opinions please


Your aunt is a piece of work and not very loyal. I would remove such an aunt from my life completely.
You just tell her you shouldn't have to point out to her where her loyalties ought to lie, she can associate with whom she likes but you do not want to associate with her and cut all contact.


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

aine said:


> Your aunt is a piece of work and not very loyal. I would remove such an aunt from my life completely.
> You just tell her you shouldn't have to point out to her where her loyalties ought to lie, she can associate with whom she likes but you do not want to associate with her and cut all contact.


Thank you.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

aine said:


> Your aunt is a piece of work and not very loyal. I would remove such an aunt from my life completely.
> You just tell her you shouldn't have to point out to her where her loyalties ought to lie, she can associate with whom she likes but you do not want to associate with her and cut all contact.


Yeah, shouldn't your relatives and family back you up and take your side?? I guess that's asking too much.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Your aunt could be an ally in persuading him to allow the kids to see you.


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## Alaina88 (Jun 20, 2017)

jld said:


> Your aunt could be an ally in persuading him to allow the kids to see you.


I thought about that in the beginning of all this. It at this point a year has passed by. Also her helping to have me see the kids again and going to dinner with him and the women he cheated on me with is very different.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Alaina88 said:


> I thought about that in the beginning of all this. It at this point a year has passed by. Also her helping to have me see the kids again and going to dinner with him and the women he cheated on me with is very different.


It could be an opening, if she has influence on him.

Just something to consider.


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