# Just a friend?



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

There are a lot of people who come here and talk about everything their spouse has done and say things about how it was a friend and they are not sure if they should make a deal out of it because it's a friend, or the spouse says its just a friend nothing else.

Well if you haven't figured it out yet the person is not "just a friend". A real friend wouldn't do these things to you, and a real friend wouldn't put you in the position to make your spouse think that you are cheating on them with the "friend".

Biz Markie says it best:

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact 
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build a
A relationship or some understanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't even gimme that
Jus' bust this

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I send
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend


----------



## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

But, he's funny and easy to talk to. I didn't say anything incriminating towards you except every intimate detail about how bad our marriage is... But, he's just a friend, like, really.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

yup


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Like I said to my wife when this sh!t all came up, no one invests that much time and effort with a friend of the opposite sex unless they see something in it for themselves. Also when your sitting there talking to a "friend" of the opposite sex about your marriage problems it says to them that your looking for a way out and they see it as their way in.


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

Oh and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but human beings in general are selfish...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Almost EVERY cheater says the affair partner is "just a friend."

It's part of the script. Seriously.


----------



## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

My favorite line was, "but be makes me smile and laugh."


----------



## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Wow, that's all exactly true. I should copy and paste it in an email to my H about his "special friend". So flipping obvious. Barf.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ No, Lonely. You don't need to send him anything right now.


----------



## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> ^ No, Lonely. You don't need to send him anything right now.


I won't. I'm taking your advice on the 48 hour thing. Especially after yesterday's slip up.


----------



## BIP (Apr 6, 2011)

I was talking to a friendly business associate last week about our kids. He offered me a bit of advice about how to deal with my 10 year old. I responded that it might work on my husband, and suddenly we were talking about problems in our marriage. I thought to myself, "So this is how it happens!" I backed out of this dangerous territory and haven't spoken with him since. Still, I realize how easy it would be to have a "friend" to share intimate information with, and how quickly things could escalate. Very eye-opening since I am NOT the WS in my relationship.


----------



## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

BIP said:


> I was talking to a friendly business associate last week about our kids. He offered me a bit of advice about how to deal with my 10 year old. I responded that it might work on my husband, and suddenly we were talking about problems in our marriage. I thought to myself, "So this is how it happens!" I backed out of this dangerous territory and haven't spoken with him since. Still, I realize how easy it would be to have a "friend" to share intimate information with, and how quickly things could escalate. Very eye-opening since I am NOT the WS in my relationship.


You aren't the WS and that is why. You recognized that this was shady territory and not for the weak so you turned the other way. That's the difference between a WS and a LS.


----------



## Lilyana (Apr 12, 2011)

yep my H is still saying that the OW is "just a friend, whats the big deal? you have friends that are male and I don't complain" 

Yes. I do. But those men are also HIS friends, and they are all Married or with women, and when I see these men it is in a group setting with their significant others. I don't talk to them about my personal life, I don't spend hours talking on the phone with them, and I don't refuse to remove them from my phone if asked!


----------



## BIP (Apr 6, 2011)

Lilyana said:


> yep my H is still saying that the OW is "just a friend, whats the big deal? you have friends that are male and I don't complain"
> 
> Yes. I do. But those men are also HIS friends, and they are all Married or with women, and when I see these men it is in a group setting with their significant others. I don't talk to them about my personal life, I don't spend hours talking on the phone with them, and I don't refuse to remove them from my phone if asked!


Ditto! I have actually avoided my male friends recently, don't want to appear like I'm trying to get even. And don't want to put myself in a compromising situation when I am so emotionally vulnerable. But I'll admit, I have thought about it.


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

After going through this situation it really shows you who your true friends are, so I guess I'm some what glad I learned this very hard lesson while I'm still fairly young instead of learning it years from now.


----------

