# Teenage kids on Facebook



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

It seems that the whole of the western world is on Facebook and the children at my son (15 year old) are not exception but it has lead to a whole new lot of ways (not that they need new ways) for teenage boys to get themselves into trouble.

My wife rang me at work last week and asked me if I would be able to attend a "disciplinary interview" at our eldest sons school the next day as she had a commitment she could not get out of. I agreed and when I got home I asked our boy what it was about.

S***Y did not like what I wrote on her Facebook wall and reported me to the Headmistresses who says that it is "Sexual Harassment".

I was alarmed that this normally quite boy had done anything so disrespectful and decided to check his account to see what had been written and in what context.

I did a screen print of the page and put it into an envelope.

As my son had been suspended from school I picked him up from home the next day for our meeting with the head. It was not until we arrived at the school that I found out that not only was the head to be prevent but also a representative from the school board of governors, a woman from Social (child) Services and the girl in questions mother (the girl was apparently "to distressed" to attend).

Seeing this array of people put me on my guard and I soon realized that it had already been decided that my son was to be made an example of, I had a sudden vision of his name and photograph in the local paper under a "sex pest" type headline.

After the formal introductions across the table the head read a statement (it sounded just like charges being read in court) reporting the words my son had written and detailed the distress that the girl was reported to be in, she continued that as "the facts are not in dispute" she intended to expel my son permanently from the school and had official informed social services so that they could investigate further to see if he was "a risk to others". I was then asked if I or my son had anything to say by way of apology or in mitigation.

By this point I was ready to "blow up" but I calmly stated that although what my son had written was direct and impolite the school had taken it out of context and made him out to be the sole wrongdoer. I then said that I wished the comments to be considered in the context of the entire Facebook page and that in the light of what would no doubt turn up my sons punishment and referral be reconsidered.

At this point the Girls mother said that this would not be possible as she had made her daughter take down her page. The head then said that this being the case and with no mitigating evidence available the punishment would stand.

It was with a sense of vindication that I pulled the envelope from my case and stated that it contained a screen print of the full page in question printed by myself the previous evening and passed it to the head warning her it contained "a disturbing image" that the girls mother might not wish to see. At this point the said mother accused me of trying to "blackmail" her and had to be calmed down by the social worker. It was then agreed that the printout could be entered in mitigation.

The comment in question was one my son had left on a photograph of this female classmate in which she was dressed only in her underwear and a pair of cowboy boots whilst appearing to be drinking beer and smoking a cigarette, his comment suggested (in no uncertain terms I admit) that she looked ready to start work as a prostitute.

The Photograph had been posted by the girl in response to a dare from another girl at the same party.

Once all everyone had seen the photo and had the context explained it was agreed that my sons punishment was out of proportion and that all three children involved (my son, the girl in the photo and the one daring her to post the picture should all be suspended for the remaining to days of the week with no further action take by the school or social service. 

we left the meeting with me telling my son that I hope he had learned something from the fright he had had when I was surprised to be approached by the girls mother and for a moment I feared she was going to make a scene but she just looked at me red faced and said "it's past time that girl of mine realized she is not to big to be put across my knee".

My son had a lucky escape I hope he does learn from it or he will be across my knee.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Wow! So glad you had that printout!

I hope they have both learned their lesson.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Wait, so the girl posted a provocative photo and your son commented "that she looked ready to start work as a prostitute" and he got suspended for that? Wasn't he just telling the truth?

Smart thinking about taking a screenshot of the page.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Kids do dumb things, social media just gives us the evidence unfortunately. That said, thanks for sharing and quick thinking for you for getting a screenshot of the FB page to put the comments/situation into context.

It appears the mother didn't have all of the information that you did and so overreacted based on the side she had from her daughter.

I'm so glad I don't have daughters to protect but that doesn't mean I don't still have to worry about my sons. Don't mean to threadjack but this reminds me of a case at my old law firm that hit me hard. 

A boy with the same first and last name as my son, and same race was falsely accused of raping his girlfriend (she later recanted in a letter of apology to him and statement to the court). She told her parents that he raped her when they were caught by them having sex because she didn't want to get grounded. 

His charges were dropped but that accusation will always show up on local police records and a CPIC should he be stopped by the police ever again. It's a shame.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm more than a little surprised the mother didn't insist on seeing the full post herself before having her daughter remove the page. I would want to know the full story. Good lesson for the mother not to be so gullible.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Wow. Well done for thinking to screenshot the entire page! 

Some mums refuse to believe their little darling(s) ever do any wrong...

Kids need to realise the gravity of the potential consequences they face by posting silly things online...scary thought.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Good thing you thought to print the page ahead of time. 

I'm just glad I grew up before Facebook was around.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So what you are saying is that the school did this on hearsay. They did not have any evidence that anything wrong was done? Yet they tired to suspend your son and were going to report him to social services?

Surely the school knows that doing something like this opens them up to a law suit that could net your son some big $$.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think they are in the UK.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> My son had a lucky escape I hope he does learn from it or he will be across my knee.


It's good for the other two that you stepped in. Maybe not good for your son in the short term since he thinks you can fix whatever he's into now. No matter, time will tell.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Just to clarify, the incident came to the attention of the school when the girl confronted my son at school the day after he posted his comment and an argument took place that was witnessed by a staff member. When that staff member asked what it was about the girl told them my son had called her a W***E on FB which when asked my son admitted but was not given the opportunity to explain the context.

I do blame the staff for their failing to investigate but maybe they needed a lesson as well.

Talking of lessons the girl whose photo started all the trouble has now found out that most of the boys in her year group had seen / shared the photograph and I worry for her that it may have "escaped" from FB before it was taken down.

As an earlier poster said I am happy I grew up before the digital camera and social media as I would not have wanted my teenage misjudgments saved for prosperity.

On a positive note all the children at the school have been sent a note warning them against, Taking / posting / sharing or commenting on inappropriate photographs, I hope they listen but I fear many will not.

I can only control what my kids do so I know my son will be more careful (at least for a while) as I have confiscated both his smart phone and his laptop so his is back to doing any computer based homework / assignments on the desktop in the living room until the start of the new school year in September.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Considering I was the victim of a few bullies at high school, I'm also very happy I didn't grow up with social media around. Didn't even have a mobile phone. I think I received one or two chain letters in the mail that said to pass them on, but not many could be bothered doing that. Now they just click a button to share all this idiotic crap. Seemed a lot simpler back then, and probably a lot easier for parents.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Are kids even on Facebook anymore. My kids think FB is only for old people....


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

*Re: Re: Teenage kids on Facebook*



Giro flee said:


> Are kids even on Facebook anymore. My kids think FB is only for old people....


Yeah, my two teens, 16 and 19, are on Twitter and instagram. They hardly go on Facebook.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My son still uses FB. Just not for 11 weeks in the summer. The first week withdrawal is pretty difficult.
MN


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