# Is your spouse the most attractive in your eyes?



## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

My husband is the most attractive man in my eyes. He is so handsome and when I first saw him I had never felt such a physical attraction to each other. There are few men I find handsome but even when I see other handsome men, they are nice to look at but don't come close to my man. He's handsome and the total package to me. He has such good morals, selfless and wanting to help others, he's just got a good heart. 

I often wonder if he feels the same way for me. I feel like if you love someone everyone else should kind of pale in comparison. He's not the type to drool over women, like me he is picky but we have the same taste. He used to tell me I was beautiful, perfect, and the best wife ever. It's funny, he loves cars way more than he is into women. I mean, I know he sees past my looks for who I am now but I still hope he sees me as the most attractive in his eyes.

Also, since he is into cars there's car models at his car events his club sets up. I'm not jealous of pretty women but I'm very jealous of car models...because they just use their sexuality, most have fake boobs, and heavy makeup yet men still seem to drool over them. I can't help but wonder if he thinks they're hotter than I am even though I know he finds me sexy and I keep myself fit.

I'm just wondering particularly with men if your wife is the most attractive woman to you? My man definitely is to me...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

More often than not, I find myself looking at other women and thinking to myself "she's not near as attractive as my wife!" Even much younger women. 

It wouldn't be quite true though that I don't find SOME women more physically attractive. But it's the whole package that counts, and she is the best.

It's funny how most of the women I see out there after marrying her don't turn me on at all.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

And I might add; she's the best because she's mine!!


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> More often than not, I find myself looking at other women and thinking to myself "she's not near as attractive as my wife!" Even much younger women.
> 
> It wouldn't be quite true though that I don't find SOME women more physically attractive. But it's the whole package that counts, and she is the best.
> 
> It's funny how most of the women I see out there after marrying her don't turn me on at all.



So basically she's not the most attractive to you, but she has everything for the best wife. It would hurt me to know that my husband sees another woman as prettier and I can't help the way I feel. I guess because it's hard for me to understand since how I feel for him. I guess wording would count...like if he said he prefers me or something like that. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Yes she is the most attractive in my eyes and I always say it publicly and to her in private...
Some will say my views are biased , but she's a beauty in my eyes.

I do see other women as beautiful and attractive, but my wife I place in a category of her own. I never compare her with another woman to asses her
" attractiveness" or " rank."
To me, she's beautiful, full stop., not open for discussion, case closed.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Yes she is the most attractive in my eyes and I always say it publicly and to her in private...
> Some will say my views are biased , but she's a beauty in my eyes.
> 
> I do see other women as beautiful and attractive, but my wife I place in a category of her own. I never compare her with another woman to asses her " attractiveness" or " rank."
> To me, she's beautiful, full stop., not open for discussion, case closed.


Exactly how I feel about my husband. Beautiful answer... I hope he feels the same for me. I'm afraid to bring it up because I don't like letting him know I'm feeling insecure. I know he doesn't like it when I put myself down and he gets annoyed when I have my little moments like this. 

99% of the time we find the same people good-looking. I felt special one time when Eva Longoria was on Desperate Housewives and we talked about how she was pretty but he said he'd rather look at me lol. I guess he doesn't feel the need to say things like that anymore but it's nice to feel special in that way.

I'm just jealous of girls who are over sexualized like import models and get the attention (but not porn stars because I know he would never desire them over me).

I think it's okay to be biased. It's like when a mother says "My child is the cutest ever!" it's nice.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband has always told me & made me feel the most beautiful women he's ever seen... 

He's never done anything in this life to give me pause for jealousy either.... I've always felt his #1. It's a very beautiful feeling to be loved like that...so long as we don't take it for granted. 
I kinda did in the past..in some ways... sorry to say 
I was not immediately attracted to my husband when we met, his dorky glasses concealed his good looks  ....it was more how he responded to me / his caring nature / how he treated me / what we had in common... attachment sprang from there.....he just needed a little make over...he was pretty  without those darn glasses on his face...give him some Levis, a white T, a little long hair & some boots...(and contacts) .....swooning ! 

He has aged very well ....still a flat stomach, a full head of hair & very little gray ..after 31 yrs together....this is rocking for me. I do tend to compare looks out & about...always noticing the bellies of other men his age....Sometimes I think I am more attracted to him NOW than I was back then! I love telling him how I feel...he tells me I am warped....he is a very humble man, which compels me to lay it on even thicker. .


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My husband has always told me & made me feel the most beautiful women he's ever seen...
> 
> He's never done anything in this life to give me pause for jealousy either.... I've always felt his #1. It's a very beautiful feeling to be loved like that...so long as we don't take it for granted.
> I kinda did in the past..in some ways... sorry to say
> ...


My man makes it seem like other women are non-existant even though we mention who we think is pretty. I don't know if that's just his nature or if he's hiding it because of me. Before I met him he seemed to not date much but he went hard to pursue me which makes me feel special.

I thought my ex was okay looking until I got to know him and he just grew to be the best and handsomest in my eyes. I mean, I knew there were other men "better looking" but he seemed way more attractive to me. Eh, my husband when I first met him it was "BAM!" 

__________

Wanna know something funny? When I was with my ex and first saw hubby at a bar and thought "He's cute!" got a closer look and forgot about him.

Few months later I ran into him again except I was single. I didn't know that was the same guy I thought was really good-looking at the bar. First time I met him it hit me hard like "Woah! He's really handsome!" and instant crushed on him as he pursued me and had a crush too. 

It wasn't just physical but we were like the same. Morals, understanding, tastes, likes... although he loves cars and I don't lol.

But I just thought it was funny here's a super good-looking guy at the bar and I even went for a closer look but forgot all about him all because I was in love with someone else at the time. 
Until the next time I saw him (I was single) i didn't realize he was that guy at the bar and it was a totally different reaction/feeling.



With that being said, is your husband the most attractive man to u? I kind of had a grey answer


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Of course some women are objectively and/or subjectively more physically attractive than my wife. And of course my vision of her is colored by love and I find her exceptionally attractive. Even so, I live in reality and am not inclined to delusional fairytale thinking if I can help it, so can see that some other women are more beautiful in certain ways.

However, I chose to be with my wife because all of her traits - including physical attraction - appealed to me more than any other women I'd met. Some (very few) were more attractive physically, but were less compatible in other ways. We are on the same page - of course some other men are more handsome, but they may lack other desirable traits. And it is very likely that there are some people who are more attractive in all ways, but a) we've never met them, b) we're not looking for them, and c) even if we found them we have great proven history together and no motivation to pursue them (even assuming they showed any interest in us).


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

I used to find my husband incredibly attractive. He has a very handsome face and some of his body features are simply beautiful to look at. The only way his appearance has changed in the last 10 years is that his hair has thinned. Not a wrinkle more, about the same weight. He makes a good deal more money now than when we met. Yet, I find him less attractive now. I don't know why, maybe all the crud over the years is tainting the way I see him.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

anja said:


> I used to find my husband incredibly attractive. He has a very handsome face and some of his body features are simply beautiful to look at. The only way his appearance has changed in the last 10 years is that his hair has thinned. Not a wrinkle more, about the same weight. He makes a good deal more money now than when we met. Yet, I find him less attractive now. I don't know why, maybe all the crud over the years is tainting the way I see him.


I'm sorry to hear that =(


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

SugarMonstaa said:


> So basically she's not the most attractive to you, but she has everything for the best wife. It would hurt me to know that my husband sees another woman as prettier and I can't help the way I feel. I guess because it's hard for me to understand since how I feel for him. I guess wording would count...like if he said he prefers me or something like that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i would think she might say "well, you are not necessarily the absolute handsomest man in the world, but you're SUPER sexy to me and so f'ing hot (which she says all the time) and the love of my life!"

I would be fine with that and could say back the same things to her.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Yes she is the most attractive in my eyes and I always say it publicly and to her in private...
> Some will say my views are biased , but she's a beauty in my eyes.
> 
> I do see other women as beautiful and attractive, but my wife I place in a category of her own. I never compare her with another woman to asses her " attractiveness" or " rank."
> To me, she's beautiful, full stop., not open for discussion, case closed.


That is my answer as well. Me and my wife are not what you would call beautiful people. She always calls me her sexy beast (I am not) and I always call her my bomb shell beauty. While I cannot speak for her I beleive she would agree that there is nobody else for either one of us. 

I love my wife
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Absolutely. No man come even come close to compare how handsome and wonderful my hubby is. I just love his voice too! It's so soothing to hear him talk!


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## loving1 (Aug 5, 2013)

Everyone in this thread is deluded! MY husband is definitely the most handsome man in the world.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Yes. No one can compare to him. While I can appreciate another man's attractiveness, there is something about my husband. I love his confidence that he has, the way his voice sends tingles to my toes, and everything else about him. I frequently let him know that he is the love of my life.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Absolutely. No man come even come close to compare how handsome and wonderful my hubby is. I just love his voice too! It's so soothing to hear him talk!


Haha, my hunny hates his voice but I love hearing it.


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## pbjporvida (Feb 25, 2013)

I see my wife more attractive every day.She's smart has a kind heart is very hospitable & has a sweet voice she's funny & physically beautiful.I know there are alot of issues that we both have to deal with but my attraction to her grows every day


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

so much love on the forum, love it! lol


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SugarMonstaa said:


> My man makes it seem like other women are non-existant even though we mention who we think is pretty. I don't know if that's just his nature or if he's hiding it because of me. Before I met him he seemed to not date much but he went hard to pursue me which makes me feel special.


 I feel as you, I wanted the man to pursue me... my husband was the shy backwards type...so the fact he put himself out there at all, this spoke to me cause he was very Jaded with women at the time...

If you & he are very open about the attractiveness of others...some will not agree with me... but I think it's pretty healthy...We're like that...he's known every friend I thought was good looking... we laugh about one of them today... as he has a pot belly, missing teeth, he's an alcoholic & out of a job.... I think I did GOOD! And I ask him what he thinks of my GF's... ..it's free flowing.....and I surely don't expect him to turn his eyes on the beach with some physically beautiful woman walking past...we BOTH LOOK... I am not bothered by this, I know I have his heart...he knows he has mine... as .. ..Neither of us has ever felt disrespected...I mean this sincerely. 



> I thought my ex was okay looking *until I got to know him and he just grew to be the best and handsomest in my eyes*


this just goes to show what romantic attachment & the swimming C0cktail of hormones will do to our psyche... Pretty normal... 



> It wasn't just physical but we were like the same. Morals, understanding, tastes, likes... although he loves cars and I don't lol.


 So important... we all have different hobbies, mine is into coin collecting, not really my thing. ...nor does he get into forums & writing like myself (though he does have an account here).



> But I just thought it was funny here's a super good-looking guy at the bar and I even went for a closer look but forgot all about him all because I was in love with someone else at the time.
> Until the next time I saw him (I was single) i didn't realize he was that guy at the bar and it was a totally different reaction/feeling.


 Just shows you are faithful to whom you attach ....the thing with physical attraction is.. I'd say we NEED so much of it....it starts THERE... but the foundation is so much MORE...as you become familiar, share experiences, memories, affection grows, and really...our Lover grows on us ! Romantic Love is a very powerful thing. 





> With that being said, is your husband the most attractive man to u? I kind of had a grey answer


 You want me to look bad with this answer .... Going by pure Physical hotness outside of any other considerations......NO... A young Ryan Gosling is going to beat him in looks..and many Rock stars, according to my taste in hotness...that's just honest...

THOUGH...*the whole package deal*.(which is what we all ARE anyway, and should BE)..... I don't believe I would find another that I had enough attraction to, *that works so well with who I am*.. Now he would tell me I am more beautiful than the hottest hottie... and you know what I say back to him...."You're full of sh**"... it's not like I am going to be upset with this knowledge....The world is vast & full of millions of young babes with perfect bodies, flowing hair, flatter stomachs, straight teeth (I never had braces ) -he tells me it gives me "character".. he is so sweet... . 

I don't want to say he is lying to me or sparing me...but I will buy into the belief that for some... and it appears to be on this thread, a spirit in these posts... their feelings are so strong, *hotness is blind* or something... Ok.. that works for me!


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I feel as you, I wanted the man to pursue me... my husband was the shy backwards type...so the fact he put himself out there at all, this spoke to me cause he was very Jaded with women at the time...
> 
> If you & he are very open about the attractiveness of others...some will not agree with me... but I think it's pretty healthy...We're like that...he's known every friend I thought was good looking... we laugh about the one today, as he has a pt belly, missing teeth, an alcoholic & out of a job.... I think I did GOOD! And I ask him what he thinks of my GF's... all of it...it's free flowing.....and I surely don't expect him to turn his eyes on the beach with some physically beautiful woman walking past...we BOTH LOOK... I am not bothered by this, I know I have his heart...he knows he has mine... as I look too... it's enjoyable...Neither of us has ever felt disrespected...I mean that sincerely.
> 
> It wasn't just physical but we were like the same. Morals, understanding, tastes, likes... although he loves cars and I don't lol.


 So important... we all have different hobbies, mine is into coin collecting, not really my thing. ...nor does he get into forums & writing like myself (though he does have an account here).

Just shows you are faithful to whom you attach ....the thing with physical attraction is.. I'd say we NEED so much of it....it starts THERE... but the foundation is so much MORE...as you become familiar, share experiences, memories, affection grows, and really...our Lover grows on us ! Romantic Love is a very powerful thing. 



You want me to look bad with this answer .... Going by pure Physical hotness outside of any other considerations......NO... A young hot Ryan Gosling is going to beat him in looks..and many Rock stars, according to my taste in hotness...that's just honest...

THOUGH...the whole package deal... I don't believe I would find another that I had enough attraction to, that works so well with who I am.. Now he would tell me I am more beautiful than the hottest hottie... and you know what I say back to him...."You're full of sh**"... it's not like I am going to be upset with that..I'm not a full and millions of young babes are hotter than me... 

I don't want to say he is lying to me or sparing me...but I will buy into the belief that for some... very special people, and seems to BE on this thread... their feelings are so strong, hotness is blind or something... Ok.. that works for me![/QUOTE]

I don't think Ryan Gossling is handsome at all, LOL. I don't get the fuss about him or Channing.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

the semantics of the question can be a bit misleading.....

This is often pointed out regarding men, but surely it applies to women as well: woman1 is less physically beautiful than woman2. throw in voice, personality and overall 'style' and woman1 ends up attracting a lot more men, sexually, than woman2.

so woman2 is prettier, woman1 is 'hotter'. So a husband telling his wife he never encounters anyone more attractive than her could be sincere, even if he has seen prettier......


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

nuclearnightmare said:


> the semantics of the question can be a bit misleading.....
> 
> This is often pointed out regarding men, but surely it applies to women as well: woman1 is less physically beautiful than woman2. throw in voice, personality and overall 'style' and woman1 ends up attracting a lot more men, sexually, than woman2.
> 
> so woman2 is prettier, woman1 is 'hotter'. So a husband telling his wife he never encounters anyone more attractive than her could be sincere, even if he has seen prettier......


I can see what you mean but for me it goes hand in hand a lot  I guess I can say a man is handsome but not be attracted really....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SugarMonstaa said:


> I don't think Ryan Gossling is handsome at all, LOL. I don't get the fuss about him or Channing.


Well that's just the thing...isn't it.. and thank God for it, we are all attracted to different types... I don't find Channing's face all that attractive...







*...but I sure loved his dancing* in Magic Mike.. (husband went with me to see that)... I found his lanky co-star better looking ... ..

I never found Johnny Depp someone to salivate over or young Brad Pitt....which many women seem to go GAGA over.... but I loved Ed Norton..  (in "*Fight Club*" with Pitt).... I also find the late Kurt Cobain exceptionally HOT........ I seem to have a thing for young long haired men. What can I say.  

It doesn't matter....see the lifestyles of those I find incredibly Hot - would be so against what I seek in life, that what good would any of it be.. . *We are all a package deal*.. if we go gong Ho for one thing and ignore the rest.. .it's gonna tumble to the ground anyway. 

Was out with husband tonight, talking about this thread... told him he should post, I think he's just too busy ....Got him to admit, that NO... there are more physically beautiful women out there.. ..(of course!!!)... we just laughed about all this.. We both know we're the Cat's meow for each other...

And that's beautiful enough... for any couple.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes, my H is "the hottest" to me...because he has literally rocked my world, and no other pretty face can compare to that. 

He feels the same and tells me all the time.


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## julianne (Sep 18, 2013)

The beauty of it is that "attractive" is different for everyone. Sometimes I find that an extremely handsome man is just a little too "pretty" for my taste, maybe a little too perfect, lol. For years I was going to The World's Most Handsome Dentist and every time I saw him I would think "My, you surely are handsome" but I never felt attracted to him


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Absolutely!!!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I feel as you, I wanted the man to pursue me... my husband was the shy backwards type...so the fact he put himself out there at all, this spoke to me cause he was very Jaded with women at the time...
> 
> If you & he are very open about the attractiveness of others...some will not agree with me... but I think it's pretty healthy...We're like that...he's known every friend I thought was good looking... we laugh about one of them today... as he has a pot belly, missing teeth, he's an alcoholic & out of a job.... I think I did GOOD! And I ask him what he thinks of my GF's... ..it's free flowing.....and I surely don't expect him to turn his eyes on the beach with some physically beautiful woman walking past...we BOTH LOOK... I am not bothered by this, I know I have his heart...he knows he has mine... as .. ..Neither of us has ever felt disrespected...I mean this sincerely.
> 
> ...


You know the issues my STBW and I have had with this  It all really comes down to how you communicate those feelings with your partner.

For me, objectively, there are, and I have been with women who are 'hotter' than my STBW, but as far as attraction goes? OMG, off the charts! I really think that my level of attraction to her is illegal in all 50 states, and 37 countries  And I let her know that.

She's still working on verbalizing her feelings for me...


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

SugarMonstaa said:


> My husband is the most attractive man in my eyes. He is so handsome and when I first saw him I had never felt such a physical attraction to each other. There are few men I find handsome but even when I see other handsome men, they are nice to look at but don't come close to my man. He's handsome and the total package to me. He has such good morals, selfless and wanting to help others, he's just got a good heart.
> 
> I often wonder if he feels the same way for me. I feel like if you love someone everyone else should kind of pale in comparison.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

You described exactly what I feel for mine. Since he entered my life, years ago, he became the center of my universe. I have no eyes for other men since; the past, his presence erased it. I barely remember former lovers, and I regret having given others before what I thought that was love. True, unconditional, pure love ,the best in me, only HE got. 
He is a handsome man. But in my eyes he is the only handsome man. A few days ago a single coworker pointed out to me what she considered a hot guy. She was drooling. I looked, and indeed, he was what is considered attractive by most women, but I was like "meh...nice, but can't even come near my H. " I rarely look twice, and even that, conclude the same way.

Lol at your jealousy of cars. You're being funny. A car can't steal your spouse or commit adultery :lol: Consider yourself lucky that it is cars not girls that he looks after.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

despite the fact that I have a frustrated with my wife for the past few years the thought of a relationship with anyone else does nothing for me.

At the heart of it all I believe it is because she is the first who ever reciprocated my love unconditionally.


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

My most perverted thoughts involve my wife! Emotionally and physically she is "IT" for me! I like to joke with her that if she ever "goes crazy" and breaks up with me, I won't be any good for any other woman. There are so many things that I have given her that I don't think I could give another woman be it the positive stuff or the negative stuff. It would all amount to chewed meat for someone else.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

samyeagar said:


> You know the issues my STBW and I have had with this  It all really comes down to how you communicate those feelings with your partner.
> 
> *For me, objectively, there are, and I have been with women who are 'hotter' than my STBW, but as far as attraction goes? * OMG, off the charts! I really think that my level of attraction to her is illegal in all 50 states, and 37 countries  And I let her know that.
> 
> She's still working on verbalizing her feelings for me...


Let me correct something here ...I believe I have been missing the intended meaning on these 2 words in this thread (thank you Samyeagar)....... clarification of terms is always helpful... *Attraction *vs *ness*... 

*What is attraction*... a feeling you REALLY want to get to know someone better, you gravitate to them if they are near -carry a physical torch for them -that could become emotional as well ? (my definition anyway).....

IF SO... my posts are wrong... OK.. I am talking about *HOTNESS*.. which is purely Fleeting ... you see a hot young man (and yes, YOUNG works for me...I do not understand women who think older men are Hot).... and you think "Damn is he ever smokin"...it lasts about 20 seconds, he walks past, you never think of him again.. 

This is pretty much what I am talking about, lots of men are HOTTER over my dear husband... and zillions of women are HOTTER than me... (surely the world will agree about their spouses)

For him too...it's a "seconds" deal...When he sees that sort of Bo Dereck ....







..as we have had this conversation in depth...I found his response hilarious about it... explaining how that works - on this thread a couple yrs back now...
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/24519-way-men-really-think.html



> * Simplyamorous said:* Here is how he explained it ....
> 1st he looks at the face, this will not sound nice but he says "if she is dog faced, no sense in going any further", then he automatically puts them into baskets >>> "Doable" ..."Maybe".... or "ewwww NEVER". He said IF there is a CHOICE in these matters, it would be to LOOK AWAY immediately, but he admitted he doesn't want to do that, "it is no fun". Then here is his next mental thoughts within seconds "I love my wife, STD's, I love my kids , STD's" and that is the end of the fleeting fantasy.
> 
> I have to say I am similar, I look at guys, I enjoy it, I also look at women, I compare, this is all normal behavior I feel.


My mind works very similar...you see the  guy, might even get a shiver down your spine (this is pretty rare though)... then you think ...."Boy I bet he has the women clawing & crawling all over him... probably a conceited Di**"....



> *RClawson said*: *the thought of a relationship with anyone else does nothing for me.*


 I feel this way too...knock me upside the head..this is the meaning of this thread ??

I know what I have in a man/ husband/ Father... he is the finest.. as a friend said about our marriage one day sitting around his kitchen table of us...(what a beautiful comment)...he said "I don't think I could live a 2nd lifetime and find a love like that"... this IS how I feel about my husband.. No one could replace this man in my  ...I'd be lost without him, a grief so deep, I never want to see that day.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

Honestly I really meant by looks. IMO there's handsome men but I don't think they are any more handsome than my husband honestly lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ASummersDay (Mar 4, 2013)

My husband is truly the apple of my eye. Other men are more or less invisible to me. I do notice in some vague, subconscious, fleeting way if they are nice to look at, but it doesn't go any deeper than that. When I interact directly with other men, it's like interacting with a guy who's permanently friend-zoned. I just don't think of them sexually. And NO ONE is more attractive to me than my husband. Not even close.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

He's the cutest,hottest,sexiest..EVER.

I notice everyone.Men and women.He's still IT for me. He notices no one unless it's a man looking at me LOL

The woman has to be truly stunning for him to look her way and usually I'm looking right along with him if she's THAT great.

I'm content that he thinks I'm a stunner


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## KAM1959 (Aug 28, 2013)

If he is anything like me he will still see you like I see my wife after 34 years, just as she was back then. But she is also "fine wine" and just gotten better as well.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't compare my husband. He's the whole package to me and I express that to him. When I spot him in a crowd, my heart skips a little beat.

I'll notice physically attractive men and women. And what I consider good-looking might not be the same as the next person. 

He views me as beautiful. He tells me and shows me. 

There's so many types of beauty in this world. He's going to interact with women who are physically very attractive. Him and I share in this special thing though. He sees all of me, and says I'm stunning. Wow! Haha. 

What I also know is that he finds confidence attractive. Being needy about appearance is a turn-off to him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SugarMonstaa said:


> Honestly I really meant by looks. IMO there's handsome men but I don't think they are any more handsome than my husband honestly lol.


But this is because you have the whirlwind emotions of you & He... the Romantic memories attached to these emotions...the bonding hormones circulating in your psyche...this is why we can do this....

They've done studies on MRI - and identified the passion regions in our brain... it's an amazing thing ...this doesn't touch on the "is he or she the greatest looking" ... but irregardless of that, *it simply wouldn't matter* - which is basically my position.... I've been with the same Man for 31 yrs (24 married now)..seems like yesterday - it all went too fast.... and I can't say I have EVER wanted another.. He does it for ME  

Still Madly in Love? Brain Scans Can Explain



> - *Couples can still be intensely in love even after many years of marriage and experience the same types of intense romantic feelings as people who have recently fallen in love.*
> 
> That’s the key conclusion of a new study in which scientists at Stony Brook University used functional magnetic resonance imaging (f*MRI*) to scan the brains of long-term married couples and compared the images to those of men and women who’d recently fallen in love.
> 
> ...


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

So, I talked to him about it and tried to bring it up as lightly as I could. Of course he can lie to me to make me feel better but I figured I'd give it a shot to see what his thoughts were. It's hard to "talk" to him when I say "I need to talk" he starts getting all weird and goofing around, getting distracted, and nervous lol.

Well, anyways I asked him the only way I could, "Why don't you see me the way I see you or how Jeremy sees Karen?" Jeremy is a friend who constantly praises his wife and vice versa. They constantly announce their love and how she's the most beautiful and perfect woman. 

At first he was offended thinking I was trying to turn him into Jeremy. I said "Noo, not that." I told him that whenever I see other handsome men I don't think they're more handsome than him, I'd rather look at him, and that I'd choose him over them." 

He asks, "What makes you think I think other models are prettier?" I reply, "Well you don't deny it if I say it, you just roll your eyes and say "Oh my gosh, really?" and his response was, "I'm not even really attracted to them. I don't even compare you at all...You're the only one I look at" Ok with the attracted part I think he meant that he doesn't desire to be with them because there's no way you can't see a hot person and not be attracted. Well, then again I've seen some hot men but weren't my "type"

Confused, I ask, "The only one you look at?" My husband isn't the best talker or explainer. He says "You know what I mean! I'm not good at explaining myself" I said "Try" he says "Basically I don't see other girls how I see you..."


Of course it makes me feel better to hear those words from his mouth. He doesn't express his emotions verbally that well as he used to when we first dated for some odd reason. 

Now, he could be lying but I will just take his word for it before it ruins what we have. Then again, like I said he doesn't seem to be like other men at all. He rarely ever watches porn or have tons of naked model photos like my ex. He doesn't desire to, he just desires cars LOL I even tried to get him to watch with me but he doesn't really care to but does it just because I'm feeling a little adventurous for the moment.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

SugarMonstaa said:


> So, I talked to him about it and tried to bring it up as lightly as I could. Of course he can lie to me to make me feel better but I figured I'd give it a shot to see what his thoughts were. It's hard to "talk" to him when I say "I need to talk" he starts getting all weird and goofing around, getting distracted, and nervous lol.


 I bet many men get the "deer in the headlights" look with some of our questions ! ...it doesn't help us women are so very sensitive/ more emotional by our natures.....they fear if they say the wrong thing the wrong way... we'll may put them in the doghouse....











> Well, anyways I asked him the only way I could, "Why don't you see me the way I see you or how Jeremy sees Karen?" Jeremy is a friend who constantly praises his wife and vice versa. They constantly announce their love and how she's the most beautiful and perfect woman.


My guess here is they are both HIGH on* "verbal affirmation" *with each other (a Love language)... and this shows when they are out and about...

I think for all of us... we have specific Love languages that just *mean more to us*...over others, but sometimes our spouses don't see it the same way...and it can cause us to question things at times....

I have a story of an older couple I work for... she cooks SO good... love getting her recipes ... I asked her one day, I bet her husband compliments her cooking a lot (cause I always do)..... and she says "NEVER"......I was thinking >>  then she says.... .."Let me tell you a story"...and proceeds to tell me it wasn't until they were married for over 10 yrs, maybe 19 (I can't remember) before she heard his 1st compliment....she will never forget the black dress she had on, where she was, and she almost passed out....It was just NOT something her husband DID.....

He was more an *Acts of Service* and *GIFT* man... He was always showing his love through DOING things, getting things for her.... giving gifts ....he even showed me this "Card game Board" he made for friends... that was just how he was geared.....

I looked at her and said ..."Well I can tell you one thing..You don't have *words of affirmation* high on your love language list or you'd want to strangle that [email protected]#$" 

Now I am going to say --most men are not THAT BAD...I feel that was extreme.. .Geez, us wives get more compliments than that by our husbands.. I HOPE! 

How does your husband express his love to you in tangible ways that YOU feel ? 



> He asks, "What makes you think I think other models are prettier?" I reply, "Well you don't deny it if I say it, you just roll your eyes and say "Oh my gosh, really?" and his response was, "I'm not even really attracted to them. *I don't even compare you at all...You're the only one I look at" Ok with the attracted part I think he meant that he doesn't desire to be with them* because there's no way you can't see a hot person and not be attracted. Well, then again I've seen some hot men but weren't my "type"


 Yes, I would trust what he says here... if he is not oogling, not looking at porn or anything like this.. I hardly think you have a thing to worry about ....and if you FEEL his love in other ways, you know it is there..sure he could learn to compliment a little more though. ...Lots of us can...even some of us women!

For me & my husband - the *Verbal affirmation*, also one could call it "*verbal Admiration*"-- is like our 3rd love language..(for both of us).... it DOES mean way more to us than *Acts of service* or *gifts *... I would be upset if my husband didn't give me some of that [email protected]# 

But at the same time, he does enjoy looking at Playboy Bunnies.. he collects them on a hard drive... this doesn't bother me at all...just cause I do know what I mean to him, he is very VERBAL about it...I feel greatly loved by his touch, his time, and his words...(those are both our top 3)... And so does he -from me. This really helps.



> Of course it makes me feel better to hear those words from his mouth. He doesn't express his emotions verbally that well as he used to when we first dated for some odd reason.


 I bet a lot of wives would say this!



> Now, he could be lying but I will just take his word for it before it ruins what we have. Then again, like I said he doesn't seem to be like other men at all. He rarely ever watches porn or have tons of naked model photos like my ex. He doesn't desire to, he just desires cars LOL I even tried to get him to watch with me but he doesn't really care to but does it just because I'm feeling a little adventurous for the moment.


 Sounds he is very passionate about his Cars!


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## pinotnoir (Jul 13, 2013)

When I first met my wife, yes she was hot. As the years went by and our relationship waned, I still think she can be attractive but now there are oh so many more attractive ladies out there. I wish it weren't like that, but personality issues have affected the physical part of it for me.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

I guess his way of love is time together. We spend most our days and free time with one another. After a long while of being together it seems harder for him to express himself verbally lol. Example...when he wanted me downstairs watching a show with him instead of being upstairs I joke "Ohhh so you want me there, just admit it" lol like if he misses me he doesn't exactly say it most times but I will definitely know.

I think he's also an aft of service guy. But I don't feel special with this because he was strictly raised to always help around the house and fix something. One time I had a flat tired he noticed before leavings work at 7am and stayed to change it although mad lol and was late for work. I could see that as love or the right thig he would've done for anyone..
_Posted via Mobile Device_

Btw, he is watching cars on YouTube as we speak! Lol he is bet passionate about cars but he never lets me feel like his car is #1 over me


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