# How do you handle a moody, sulky husband?



## NYmommy (Jun 23, 2013)

My husband and I have been together for 7years, We also have a 3½ yo son. I love him so much but we can both be complete opposites to each other when it comes to socializing. I have always been an extrovert and I love getting to know new people and I have a huge group of friends and I see them regularly, My husband is a firefighter and obviously they are all a very close crew. When we all arrange a night out his friends will be there and mine too, most of the time some of my family would also turn up as we all have mutual friends etc. and then the arguments start between us. He is happy to sit there with the guys, drink & talk among themselves, Im the opposite, I'll sit with him for a period of time and then Im up and over with my friends or family, dancing and just having fun with random people, I am 27 and Its how I enjoy myself, There is an 8 year age gap between my husband and I. 

We went out last night with his and my friends, who can be very loud and really know how to have a good time and all that feeds into me when Im with them, When im talking to my friends I catch my husband staring over at me and he usually looks pissed off at me, I noticed some chick talking and laughing with him at the bar and I got really annoyed and I went over to them and kissed him, I'll admit I was jealous and angry, he was moody with me saying I might as well have not gone out with him at all, that he hasn't seen me all night & that chick thought he was single, This started a fight between us which continued all the way home, With him walking ahead of me while I was struggling to keep up with him. Am I at fault in this? I feel like im not because Im having fun the way I always have and he is more reserved and gets sulky with me. How can I fix this?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

If I were out with my wife and she was spending time talking to other guys and dancing with them (even if they are just "friends" and have women with them) I'd be put out as well. And I'd probably get moody and mouthy too. 

I mean, change roles. You want to go out and have a beer and chit chat with friends. You'd like your husband to sit with you and join in or be by your side. Instead, he's yucking it up with other women and dancing with them and it's boisterous. I really don't think you'd like seeing that. And, I might add, that's where real trouble can begin.

Now, that said, I do understand and get your point that you two are opposites in this regard. There is something to be said for that. But I think you're more in the wrong in all this and don;t blame him all too much for getting moody over it all.

Let me put it this way. If you truly love him and if you are adamant about a strong and healthy marriage, you are going to have to compromise some things. And getting rowdy and dancing with other men, ie, flirting, (yes, I know it's in a mixed group and yes I know he's there in the building...) is something you need to greatly temper. 

I also get the fact he needs to loosen up, but between what you say of the both of you I'll support him in this one more so.

Go to the Coping With Infidelity area and see how many betrayals started out just like the time you spend with your friends- no matter how innocently. 

Maybe try and restructure your fun times where it isn't threatening to him and you can still have some fun. It also sounds like booze is a problem for the both of you.

Now, allllllllllllll that said, if all your friends are women and you're getting rowdy and dancing with women, then he needs to just suck it up. How's that?


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## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Many, if not most, men are less talkative and gregarious than women. I don't see why you two are fighting over this. So what, you go out, he chillaxes with his buddies while you go off dancing and bee bopping around. 

Actually, you should be glad your husband still attracts chicks at the bar. He must have some degree of stud factor left in him.

Appreciate your differences and quit making such a big deal out of it.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I think where you were wrong (both of you actually) is getting cheeky with each other over it. Not worth fighting over. I assume this is not the first time this has come up. Why don't you talk about it at home and try to understand how the other feels, and make a compromise.

Just on another note, I sure hope you aren't tweeting around to different men when your husband NOT around. That could bring trouble.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Try looking across the room at each other with admiration and love next time...and "make eyes" and flirt, and dance with each other.

Much more fun that way.

.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

If you want your husband to be happy, you have to meet his emotional needs.

A moody and sulky husband, first off, is he sexually fulfilled? A man gets moody when he is not sexually fulfilled (his personal definition, not yours or someone else's).

Second, if you are socializing and excluding him and acting as an umarried woman, that is a disrespect to him. Were you disrpesecting him? Do you lack respect becuase he is not as socially adept as you? Do you portray that to him?

In marriage, balance is key. You can have your different ways of socializing, but do enough to remind each other you are husband and wife above all other things in this situation.

Maybe there are things he should do, but you are the poster and he is not here, and I am a firm beliver in fixing yourself first over tyring to "fix" the othe person.


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