# Cheating in the Rosiest Time



## confused.gal2013 (Jan 12, 2013)

I met this guy on october 10 2012 when I was visiting my friend in the same town. It was an arranged meeting, his sister and my cousin's wife are best friends and they wanted us to meet.. I met him and we liked each other,we kept seeing each other for 10 days and then I had to leave back to my town. He seemed to be really upset when I left, it seemed like he liked me more than I did, the way he looked at me was different, it's like he had spark in his eyes.. the moment my plane landed in my town I opened my phone and there was a message from him saying "I am crazy about you", and then he called me and told me he wanted to meet my dad. A week passed and then he told me that he is serious about me and if things work out he is looking for marriage. We went through the long distance relationship pretty well, we missed each other a lot and he was too sweet with me, giving me promises and showing me how nice the life would be if we ended up together. His mom spoke to my mom and things started progressing. 2 months after, he flew to my town to meet my parents, at first my dad hated him, I am the youngest in the family and I admit to be the spoiled one. My guy was staying for 3 days and he kept coming over everyday, the first 2 days my dad did not like him at all, the third day, him and dad spent time together alone and dad loosened up and I felt that he liked him. He even started asking me "how is ur fiance" after he left.

We planned our christmas/new year vacation to meet in Beirut, and we did, the first 3 days were amazing, I met his parents for lunch at their house once, on the third day, we went out at night to a pub, he asked me to keep his phone, and pack of cigarettes in my purse because the pub was too crowded. that night we had our first kiss and it felt amazing. After I came home, I found his phone in my purse, he forgot it. I went through it, ANYONE would! I honestly trusted him with all my heart because I thought he was in love with me more than I was, but I went through his phone because I wanted to see "What he tells his friends about me". Foolish of me, I found texts from his ex, back and forth. Long story short, he had been seeing her all this time, talking about their relationship, joking around, seeing each other, talking about cuddles and keys to his place and coming over to each others places. I waited until the next day and confronted him, he got pissed that I went through his phone and he said that this is his past and he was dealing with it, I gave him a hard time for 3 days, and then found out that he had slept with her 1, 10 days after I left his town back to my town. I broke up with him right away. He kept sending me flowers everyday begging me to forgive and give him a chance. I was so mean to him and kicked him out when he showed up a few times at my door. And then, I was so weak and vulnerable once when he showed up and we had sex. It was amazing, we went out to dinner afterwards and talked about the relationship, we didn't get anywhere. He kept begging me for the next days and I was still going out with him, when I am with him I am happy and content, but once he leaves I start to wonder. When I was so mad I told my sister and my parents and changed my booking and made it on dec 28 instead of january 9. we faught and he insisted that that girl is his past and had nothing to do with me, and that he broke up with her once and for all, he claims that when he met me he wasnt single (although he lied to me at the time and told me that he broke up with his ex in june-we met in october). just a few hours before leaving to the airport I called again and changed my booking back to jan 9, I wasnt ready to leave or run away yet. I saw him on dec 31 he begged me for 3 hours to give him 1 chance and I didn't. I asked him to get out of my life because I want to start 2013 without him in it. he walked me home, I went up to my appartment and looked out the window and he was still standing there, with a sad face, then he walked away. His sister and mom called me that day and they asked me to give him a chance. I was mean, still hurt, he hurt my pride.

I never saw or heard from him until yesterday, he texted me and I answered, he asked me to give this a shot and I was still mean. Still stuck and thinking how could he do this! how can I ever believe or trust him again, especially that his ex lives in his town and I dont. he said he never loved her only she did, and that I am the one for him. We faught through text again he called twice I didn't answer, I told him give me time and space to think about this, he said it is now or never, I asked again for time and space, and then he said then forget about me.. he ended everything and he deleted me off facebook as well. he said his ex is better than me because at least she loved him and never gave up on him. however he kept texting me and asking me to say something but I stopped replying, if he wants to end things then so be it, I am not willing to get down from my high horse after being betrayed and lied to. again, he changed his mind and sent me that we are so happy together and that he misses me and we should give it a shot, he said he is sad and lonely without me. 

I did not reply, and I dont know what to do.. I am torn, and lost, and confused.. and I dont know what to do........... I dont know how I feel about him.. I am happy when I am with him, but I am not now because this is a long distance relationship.. I don't know if he is really sorry for what he did or all of this is just an act. He has a lot of good qualities.. but now after he has done this, his bad qualities are appearing to me and I am not sure whether this whole thing is worth a shot or no. I ask around my friends and family, and they all think that I should be the one to take this decision, and I am not able to.. What would you have done? Would you forgive someone who was not able to cut all ties with his ex once and for all once he decided to take our relationship to the serious level? Would you forgive someone you have only known for 3 months? Someone who has been cheating in the rosiest time of the relationship?


----------



## NotDoneYet (Oct 6, 2012)

Wow most people take at least six months to show their true colors.

Sounds like you're a rebound girl. He's aching for his ex, and you're just the ego boost he needed. There shouldn't be such drama this early on. Dump him before his ex decides she wants him back and he dumps you.


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

It is not about him, it's about you....

I would say, seen the strange development of this relation, you are from a very different culture. This looks like a bollywood script.

If you like drama like this, continue the situation.


----------



## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Never,this is infidelity.Whether youare married or going out,but he being in touch with the ex and then sleeping with her is too much!!!

Be glad that God gave you such a chance as to have his cell phone and know his true colours.Please start a frsh and happy healthy life with an honest man.

See you might be happy with him ,but that is just temporory;with his being dishonest to you,he has already shown you that he has no respect for you,you are just an object to him whom he wants to achieve at any cost.Get rid of him.


----------



## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

He's cheating in the "rosiest time".

What do you think he'll do when the honeymoon period is over?

The guy is a cheater of the worst kind. Sorry to be blunt, but if he is screwing around on you NOW, he isn't going to stop because he put a ring on your finger.


----------



## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

CG2013. Dang girl he shot himself in the foot. He gave you with open arms the evidence, but forgot that's hilarious. I have to say this, you don't need him. There are plenty of really good dudes out there, that won't pull this garbage six months in. He did you a favor. You can't be that attached, you can walk real easy. Chalk this up to experience and go find that guy who will give you flowers for no other reason, than to give you flowers. Good luck.


----------



## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

You live in another town, he loves in the same town as his gf.. Trusting him will only get you so far. 

It'll keep playing on the back of your mind, is he with her right now? Why is he not answering his phone? Etc. You don't need that. 
And he was "working it out" with his ex? He slept with her so obviously he still feels something for her. He was flirting with her in the texts right? 

Yes I get that you love and care for him but if he's already doing stuff this early in your relationship then who knows how life will be for you after marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Consider yourself saved from the worst disaster of your life...Your getting his phone was a life raft on this titanic that sank fast. He has no respect for you, playing cat and mouse, bait and switch. Pretend he's a turd and just flush the toilet.


----------



## confused.gal2013 (Jan 12, 2013)

I dumped him like a piece of ****. Thank you all for your advice. Funny thing is that I was reconsidering taking him back, he was still calling and texting me, I asked him to be honest with me and just tell me the truth about what had happened. He kept running away from the answer telling me that he misses me. He kept calling me and texting me but I wasn't answering. Last thing he texted me and told me that he told his friends and they all laughed and told him to dump my ass!!!!! So I raged and I blocked his number. However I did send him a long email and I was really harsh. I think he deserved it. I am so hurt right now but in time things will get better I am sure. I've got all I need to move on: Time and distance. 
I am just upset and I dont know how to describe the feeling but it sucks.


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

confused.gal2013 said:


> I met this guy on october 10 2012 when I was visiting my friend in the same town. It was an arranged meeting, his sister and my cousin's wife are best friends and they wanted us to meet.. I met him and we liked each other,we kept seeing each other for 10 days and then I had to leave back to my town. He seemed to be really upset when I left, it seemed like he liked me more than I did, the way he looked at me was different, it's like he had spark in his eyes.. the moment my plane landed in my town I opened my phone and there was a message from him saying "I am crazy about you", and then he called me and told me he wanted to meet my dad. A week passed and then he told me that he is serious about me and if things work out he is looking for marriage. We went through the long distance relationship pretty well, we missed each other a lot and he was too sweet with me, giving me promises and showing me how nice the life would be if we ended up together. His mom spoke to my mom and things started progressing. 2 months after, he flew to my town to meet my parents, at first my dad hated him, I am the youngest in the family and I admit to be the spoiled one. My guy was staying for 3 days and he kept coming over everyday, the first 2 days my dad did not like him at all, the third day, him and dad spent time together alone and dad loosened up and I felt that he liked him. He even started asking me "how is ur fiance" after he left.
> 
> We planned our christmas/new year vacation to meet in Beirut, and we did, the first 3 days were amazing, I met his parents for lunch at their house once, on the third day, we went out at night to a pub, he asked me to keep his phone, and pack of cigarettes in my purse because the pub was too crowded. that night we had our first kiss and it felt amazing. After I came home, I found his phone in my purse, he forgot it. I went through it, ANYONE would! I honestly trusted him with all my heart because I thought he was in love with me more than I was, but I went through his phone because I wanted to see "What he tells his friends about me". Foolish of me, I found texts from his ex, back and forth. Long story short, he had been seeing her all this time, talking about their relationship, joking around, seeing each other, talking about cuddles and keys to his place and coming over to each others places. I waited until the next day and confronted him, he got pissed that I went through his phone and he said that this is his past and he was dealing with it, I gave him a hard time for 3 days, and then found out that he had slept with her 1, 10 days after I left his town back to my town. I broke up with him right away. He kept sending me flowers everyday begging me to forgive and give him a chance. I was so mean to him and kicked him out when he showed up a few times at my door. And then, I was so weak and vulnerable once when he showed up and we had sex. It was amazing, we went out to dinner afterwards and talked about the relationship, we didn't get anywhere. He kept begging me for the next days and I was still going out with him, when I am with him I am happy and content, but once he leaves I start to wonder. When I was so mad I told my sister and my parents and changed my booking and made it on dec 28 instead of january 9. we faught and he insisted that that girl is his past and had nothing to do with me, and that he broke up with her once and for all, he claims that when he met me he wasnt single (although he lied to me at the time and told me that he broke up with his ex in june-we met in october). just a few hours before leaving to the airport I called again and changed my booking back to jan 9, I wasnt ready to leave or run away yet. I saw him on dec 31 he begged me for 3 hours to give him 1 chance and I didn't. I asked him to get out of my life because I want to start 2013 without him in it. he walked me home, I went up to my appartment and looked out the window and he was still standing there, with a sad face, then he walked away. His sister and mom called me that day and they asked me to give him a chance. I was mean, still hurt, he hurt my pride.
> 
> ...


You gotta be kidding me.

I mean, I'm laughing at the absurdity that he can be even remotely trusted. 

And you are thinking of giving in to this schmuck? I mean, he fooled you once and now he wants to see if can get away with it again and you are actually contemplating it?

Look, before you do, I have some ocean front property I'd like to sell you in Iowa....


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

confused.gal2013 said:


> I dumped him like a piece of ****. Thank you all for your advice. Funny thing is that I was reconsidering taking him back, he was still calling and texting me, I asked him to be honest with me and just tell me the truth about what had happened. He kept running away from the answer telling me that he misses me. He kept calling me and texting me but I wasn't answering. Last thing he texted me and told me that he told his friends and they all laughed and told him to dump my ass!!!!! So I raged and I blocked his number. However I did send him a long email and I was really harsh. I think he deserved it. I am so hurt right now but in time things will get better I am sure. I've got all I need to move on: Time and distance.
> *I am just upset and I dont know how to describe the feeling but it sucks.*


*
*

You don't need to describe it to us. Why? Because we know from our own experiences how badly it hurts. But it does get better!


----------



## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Your best revenge will be to completely ignore him and stop letting him get under your skin. Save yourself from years of betrayal and pining after him. Believe me once you do that and learn from this experience, YOU will be the one forever etched in his memory as the good one who got away (and rightfully so)! You definitely now know for sure, what a good husband-to-be does NOT look like. Change your number.


----------

