# Finally filed stbxh found out I was seeing someone now wants to try again



## Cris7 (Oct 12, 2012)

My H of 7 years had an EA with co-worker. Tried working it out for 2 years with her still working with him. Finally filed as he wouldn't commit. I told him I was seeing someone and he flipped. At first he was angry, now he is saying that he wants to try again. That he never really thought we would be apart, that we needed to divorce to be able to fully start over. He asked for ow to be transferred and is saying all the right things. I don't know what to do. I was finally starting to feel happy and then he pulls this. Anyone have experience with this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you living separate from your husband?
How long ago did you file for divorce?

He said that you needed to be divorced to start over? He sounds like a big talker... someone good at fabricating nonsense that he thinks you will believe.

Two years is a long time for him to keep up an affair and not commit to recovery.

Do you have any proof that he's not seeing her? That she's been transferred? How convenient that he can just transfer her.

Do not give in easily to this. He's just does not want to see you with anyone. Stay the course with the divorce.

He has not really shown any remorse or done anything to prove he's committed. How could you trust him?


----------



## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

Cris7 said:


> My H of 7 years had an EA with co-worker. Tried working it out for 2 years with her still working with him. Finally filed as he wouldn't commit. I told him I was seeing someone and he flipped. At first he was angry, now he is saying that he wants to try again. That he never really thought we would be apart, that we needed to divorce to be able to fully start over. He asked for ow to be transferred and is saying all the right things. I don't know what to do. I was finally starting to feel happy and then he pulls this. Anyone have experience with this?


You need to put him through the paces to test his sincerity and be certain under what circumstances you will take him back. If he is willing to meet your demands (and they should not be lenient) you have a good chance of making this work.

The main thing is that he should understand how hard it will be for him to regain your trust and you should not be bashful about not trusting him. That might mean, for example, his allowing you to monitor his electronic and phone communications.

Make strong demands and then hold him to them.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I posted this in your other thread too. Your hb is full of sh!t and is panicked because, he's losing his fallback plan. Think about it: "he never thought we'd be apart". All while he had someone else. Translation: he didn't think you were strong enough to go anywhere so he could do his thing and you'd still be there. If you go back you'll only confirm this and soon enough you'll be back in the same place. Hell, he's probably still talking to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

