# Recently cheated on how to move forward



## Vassieem (Dec 19, 2021)

So it's not like My husband and I dont have sex. We have atleast 2x a week for the past 9 years before that it was a lot more often before I got injured but we still do it frequently like I said minimum 3x a week. 

He claims a year and a half ago he wanted more fun. ( I can't do certain positions because of my back) which he knew since I injured myself in 2012 and we've been together since 2010. So I bought a sex swing kinky fun with the ability to not have pressure on my back or shoulders (had surgery in 2015) but I still do it I just can't be on top every time but we didn't just do missionary we did other positions and found some good ones.

I also started giving him bjs whenever I wasn't in the mood for sex it hurts me but I don't let him know that. I want to please him and he enjoys it. 

Well he cheated on me about a month ago 3 times same woman. Oh I hated this woman too she tried giving him her number a year ago but he told her he was married. 

We just had a baby 4 months ago so sorry if I'm not able to dedicate all my time to my husband I also homeschool our 4 yr. Old. Im a sahm. 

And we were still intimate but not the most passionate because we had to squeeze it in during nap time because babu just won't sleep at night. 

Uggh I'm still mad but we decided to work through it he apologized so many times im willing to try but he made it seem like he had a swxless marriage like no we have more sex than a lot of people just not romantic everytime.

He emotionally sixks I try to do couple games or intimacy cards he always says no even though that's my intimacy thing I've had a date night in a box sitting on my dresser for over a year. I'm so mad.

And today he asks if one day he will want to share him I said no. Maybe when we're old but not right now and if I'm not enough to tell me now he said no he doesn't want to loose me. I guess I needed to vent.

Luckily I'm in therapy bit 1 hour a week isn't enough. He wants to have all this sex but hasn't initiated doing my things and he complained I didn't initiate enough. 

He would complain when I rejected him for being nausesus and bloated when I was pregnant like im not a sex slave and shouldn't feel obligated to have sex and half the time I felt obligated or he would be mad maybe that was an issue too.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You need to unload this selfish jerk, and a creep.

Talk to a lawyer.

Can you move in with your parents?



_N-_


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

So basically the implication is that unless you do all the the things he wants when he wants he will go elsewhere. 
He sounds very selfish to me and pretty uncaring towards you. 
You have to decide the next step. For many what he did would end the marriage, and it sounds as if it may well happen again from what he has said.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

2 x per week or more, despite having a new baby 4 months ago? 
I think that if you were to collect the data on couples with 4 month olds, you'd find that you two were on the "high" end of the bell curve for intimacy. 
So he's certainly not being denied out of hand. It sound like you are doing your part to try to keep the sexual part of the marriage going.

I say he's out of line of his demands. I call BS on that. In fact, my suspicion is that he's just using it as a false justification for his affairs.

He's a total asshole, and the sooner you are done with him the better.

(Hey, mods, I thought we are supposed to let the filter handle the profanities? )


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

You move forward by divorcing his miserable carcass. Never accept blame for being cheated on and never be anyone's plan "B"!
Your husband really is a POS.


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## Welsh15 (Feb 24, 2014)

Vassieem said:


> So it's not like My husband and I dont have sex. We have atleast 2x a week for the past 9 years before that it was a lot more often before I got injured but we still do it frequently like I said minimum 3x a week. He claims a year and a half ago he wanted more fun. ( I can't do certain positions because of my back) which he knew since I injured myself in 2012 and we've been together since 2010. So I bought a sex swing kinky fun with the ability to not have pressure on my back or shoulders (had surgery in 2015) but I still do it I just can't be on top every time but we didn't just do missionary we did other positions and found some good ones. I also started giving him bjs whenever I wasn't in the mood for sex it hurts me but I don't let him know that. I want to please him and he enjoys it. Well he cheated on me about a month ago 3 times same woman. Oh I hated this woman too she tried giving him her number a year ago but he told her he was married. We just had a baby 4 months ago so sorry if I'm not able to dedicate all my time to my husband I also homeschool our 4 yr. Old. Im a sahm. And we were still intimate but not the most passionate because we had to squeeze it in during nap time because babu just won't sleep at night. Uggh I'm still mad but we decided to work through it he apologized so many times im willing to try but he made it seem like he had a swxless marriage like no we have more sex than a lot of people just not romantic everytime. He emotionally sixks I try to do couple games or intimacy cards he always says no even though that's my intimacy thing I've had a date night in a box sitting on my dresser for over a year. I'm so mad. And today he asks if one day he will want to share him I said no. Maybe when we're old but not right now and if I'm not enough to tell me now he said no he doesn't want to loose me. I guess I needed to vent. Luckily I'm in therapy bit 1 hour a week isn't enough. He wants to have all this sex but hasn't initiated doing my things and he complained I didn't initiate enough. He would complain when I rejected him for being nausesus and bloated when I was pregnant like im not a sex slave and shouldn't feel obligated to have sex and half the time I felt obligated or he would be mad maybe that was an issue too.


what an a-hole. dump this jerk


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Outside of the horrible way your husband treats you, the silver lining here is the effort you put into your relationship. It impresses me. 

There are quality men out there that would treat you incredibly well for doing the things that you do. Your husband sounds like garbage and doesn't know what he has. I would cut him loose and find someone worth your time.


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

So... he wants you initiate more despite the fact that you've been pretty much trying to keep up as best as possible, but has he done _anything_ to reciprocate??? Has he ever tried catering to you as well?


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

I have no idea how you tolerate this. Well, actually, I do, as I did for a while, too.
Once you get out and away from this abusive, disordered whole, life will get better.
But, you need to work on your incredibly low sense of entitlement.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it is hard to tell.
you say all the right things, but i suspect if we had your husband's post on here, he would have some valid points about a lack of sex. That does not give him permission to cheat, for sure! but you do not seem to even be trying to hear what your husband is saying.

if you divorce him now, you will have two children to bring up on your own, and still have this medical problem from your accident to deal with.....so dating anyone is going to be no fun at all. 

Has he given you a more detailed explanation of why he felt he needed to cheat with this other woman. 
And is he acting remorseful...to the point that you think he might be willing to do the heavy lifting to reconcile?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Divorce. And rapidly.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

Well, maybe not valid points from the husband. After all, he has displayed a lack of integrity.


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