# Anger/frustration issues



## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Venting here.

My DS 23 was SUPPOSED to do his FAA oral exam for his Certified Flight Instructor (CFI) rating license at noon.

He called me and had an EXCUSE for it not happening as scheduled.

I feel like I want to RIP off someone's HEAD. 

RC: I need a REALLY GOOD emot - creative, of me lopping off heads!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Been some time since I've felt that mad ( years and years)
but I do recall being that mad and it sure does sux.
Hope your day gets better.

ps... you can always go to the mall, great sales right now since winter inventory coming in....


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

I am going to get in the shower. DH gets home tonight. He is going to be SOOOO disappointed. He's been out working his butt off for 9 days, non-stop, and I just hate to see his face; he was expecting this to be a DONE child.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I could use a shower myself
but currently cooking... so pretty soon I'll be in there myself.


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## Blonddeee (Dec 17, 2008)

:whip::whip::banghead::banghead:

:rofl:

The little guy rolling and laughing kind of looks like he has blood on his mouth... am I the only one who thinks that. 

Hope everything works out with your ds.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I am sure son will regret this later on in life, but maybe he is not so sure he wants to do this? Is your husband a pilot? Maybe he feels forced into it? or Pressured?

He is 23 he has to make his own decisions and suffer the consequences of them, you can only hope he makes the right choices in life.

Like your own choices, you regret some of them, maybe he see's that in you and feels he doesn't want to make the wrong choice if his heart is not into it.

He is 23, time for him to move out and find his own way, there is only so long you and your husband can guide him, he has to make his own choices and live with them.

As a parent you just have to accept their choices, you may disagree with it, but he is a man and adult, accept it and move on.

He just may need that kick in the arse to motivate him. That being, you accept his choice and let him move out and get a job and live his life.

Sometimes reality sucks and it will for him when it hits.

have a drink and relax.....no child is ever done.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I just remembered something... when I used to get that mad....
it helped me to go jog with headphones on, REAL LOUD...
It felt like a very aggressive act. I came home beat
but it brought down my anger.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Was not his excuse...I wish it were.

His school made some really STUPID mistake, FAA shows up to do oral exam on son and the SCHOOL messed up on some records.

Complex profession this piloting. DH was trained military, Vietnam pilot; DS is training civilian. (SUGGESTION TO ALL: If you are going to become a pilot have the military train you! NAVY or Marines if possible; Air Force if you can't get Navy or Marine training!) 

Have talked to DH, and he, although also aggravated, says:
"That's the FEDS  for you!" Then he says: "Poor DS, he's been studying for this oral for months, and this is the SECOND delay from the Feds in two weeks. (The oral testing is anywhere from 3.5 to 5/6 hours, depending on the Fed examiner deciding when enough is enough, and the student can prove he knows his stuff...). So I called DS and asked him if he needed anything, and Dad wanted to know if he could do anything to help. (NO, Dad will not buy you a fifth of Vodka :rofl: - the examiner is sending some one back next week to test DS).

(DH is taking this much better than me! DH says commercial pilots jump through FAA hoops their career...and the FEDS want to take over health care???"). :rofl: 

I think DH is just happy to be back stateside and headed home. So DH says: "I'll be home around 9:30....I know it is upsetting...honey, but hang in there..we'll open that bottle of wine I got before I left two weeks ago.....". (He's lucky the wine is STILL there! :rofl:)

He hasn't called me HONEY except perhaps three times in our entire marriage! OMG I think am going to cry. Urgh.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

My dad called me honey one time. I was like 37 at the time.

I looked around the room to see who he was talking to and was shocked, it was me !

hahaha


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Yeah, I think DH avoids the word "Honey". He is from the South were everyone calls each other "Honey" and no one thinks a thing. 
BUT DH knows he better not call a flight attendant "Honey" he'll get reported for sexual harassment; so therefore he probably avoids using the term.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

GA: This son his suffering consequences of his actions, trust me. He HATES living at home, but we refuse to pay for more apartment or dorm expenses, as he says he has too much on his plate - just finished his B.S. in Aeronautics, he has his commercial flying license to fly for airlines; but since economy tanked he has to get his flight instructor rating on top of that...so he can be an instructor racking up hours teaching flying.

It isn't that son does NOT want to move out, get a job...he will be instructing as SOON as he passes this exam (he's already passed the TWO written exams for this Instructor license, now he has this huge oral exam (think on his feet) and THEN a flight exam, where he is to demonstrate his teaching skills in the sky.

THEN when he gets this license he HAS a job teaching flying....at least that is the "word" at this moment. Who the heck knows?

ALL I know is that no woman in her right mind would want to live in a home with TWO pilots on board! I told DS 15.5, "Don't even THINK about becoming a pilot, unless you do it in the Navy or something along that line!".

GA: Paying "tuition" to become a commercial pilot and instructor pilot is liken to paying for medical school...and like most medical school, the student schedule is so "all over the place" and the studying so intense, holding a job on top of it all is VERY hard, it can be done, but one does better and passes these exams better if not. In addition, the ability to fly is hampered by weather.....certain license levels are restricted to specific weather conditions.

If DS were NOT in school...he would NOT be living under our roof. Period. Agree with you, if DS were a drunken, druggie worthless piece of crap of a son....but he TRIES and as much as I wish he'd try harder, and do things a bit smarter, we are so close....

And I am leaving on Sunday....so that will make it SOOO much less stressful and painful.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Good to know Sandy...I guess the FAA does this alot, since flying is a "stressful" situation at all times, that I imagine this is part of the process, because not everything goes according to plan, you always have to be ready.

I too was in the military, while it is structured and rigid, they also throw curves at you once and awhile to "keep you on your toes" 24x7 you never know when you may be under fire, so you need to rective, aceept delays, always be at the ready.

Pilots have a ton of stress no if and or buts about it, more so then the average bear.

You just gave me some insight to your husband, A military officer (pilot) no less a man's man job. Being former military our "soft side" is somewhat hidden, we have to be men, tough no wussy allowed, since your husband is older then I, I imagine it was more "stringent" then the treatment I recieved and not the "professional" soldier we have today. Back then it was Tough as nails and balls to the wall mentality.

Your husband after years of this mentality, being the pillar of manhood, the strength behind the family, the backbone and doing his job For his loving wife and children, could never ever show weakness, ever. He had to be strong at the ready, yet inside he was fragile and worried about his georgous wife and his children back home....you were ALWAYS in his thoughts and YOU kept him strong when he could not show it externally.

I know this I lived it. He is trying to be 'softer" now, you through him a curve that he never saw comming, he never wanted to stifle your life or career, but your generation it was not acceptable to be a career "family" he did things that he didn't want to do, but HAD to do, for his family, for you his wife.

You should be SOOO proud that your son is following the path of a pilot. While disappointed at the setback, I imagine this is normal "keep ready" move. I am glad the faith in your son is restored. I am glad your husband is breaking down his internal battles and struggles trying to correct the "little things" that you yearned for these years.

He loves you, it shows by his actions, and the inner turmoil and battles is very hard for him, he was taught to be a tough rough man all his life...losing you would crush him, a battle he never saw or prepared for, you were his glue, his everything, he needs you.

I know this because I been ther and made decisions for my wife and family, because losing them or my career? bye bye career and I know your husband would make the same choice if given the oppurtunity. Money is money, but the love of your life comes once.

best of luck


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Thanks GA, am glad could give some insight.

My DH and I are kind of in a strange cross-generational thing, and as you said he was the "balls to the wall" when it came to being a pilot as all fighter pilots must be.

See, I am 7 years younger than DH, and I was YOUNG in the 70s - he was already graduated from a military academy (of all things..the manliest of the man...huh?) when I was not even in high school, or just barely, I think.

SO, I grew up "Burn the bra and I am going to have my career, bash men" "women are going to get liberated and do as they want, no matter WHO they have to trample (men's issues)".

SO, DH and I have very different world views shall I say.....and we've crossed swords more than once! I wanted to go to the Naval Academy or the Air Force Academy but I wasn't ALLOWED to go, GA...I was female. (Grrrrr....I would have likely become a fighter pilot had I been male...or a captain of an air craft carrier...)

Funny story: Remember the female "Shannon" something who sued The Citadel to gain entrance as the FIRST female to go to The Citadel? Well, MY dh had a cow. 

He: "How dare SHE!"
Me: "Uh, honey, I'm a "SHE" and I think it is wonderful and they should let her in...."

OMG. That was an awful time for us. I discovered DH was sending CHECKS to the Citadel defense fund to keep this WOMAN out of the Citadel, GA! 

Well, , I was sending checks to Shannon after I discovered that OUR money was going to a fund to keep HER out!

Well, now ALL our children have conditional appointments to Military Academies. ALL our children, male or female. DH understands better as he gets older and is a father of daughters, 

AND I do believe he mellows as he gains wisdom and age.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

My stepson and stepdaughter have zero interest in the military, its unfortunate too....
Stepson will be lucky to graduate high school... he is in the 10th grade and still can't spell simple words.
He lives with his bio mom.................... I have no idea what she's doing as far as raising him. He barely passes and what does he get ? a new car waiting for him in the driveway... and he was only 15 at the time !!!
SHESH !
Talk about creating a monster, a kid with a HUGE sense of entitlement.

anyway, the military would be great for stepson, if he went his dad could even get him on where he works, and starting pay is like 25 dollars an hour as its military related.
My husband was in the military and why he got the job... his son has no chance of getting on if he does not have a military background, so I guess he will work delivering pizzas with his new car.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Preso:
What a nightmare for those kids. Geez.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

You never know Preso, sometimes people surprise you, you never know how they act when adversity shows up.

Maybe the kid will join the Military, My mother was devestated I joined the Military, but she accepted it, I had to as I paid my own way through school and life.

Sometimes people only need a chance to show what they can do, often people don't give it to them or cut them down for trying.

I coach youth soccer, I had a young girl on my team whose answer was always, "I can't" I always said to her, "you CAN and YOU WILL!" I explained to her there is NOTHING she Can not accomplish, to believe in herself and just do it. To Stop out thinking herslf and setting herself up from failure. By the end of the season she turned it around, no more, "I can't" it was "what do you want me to do coach?"

I always told my girls I don't care if we win or lose, I want to see them do their best and NEVER give up, show me that and I am happy, you give up? well then we can do suicides at practice...never ever give up...what can I say Iwas military  but I had that attitude before it.


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