# Husband can't let go of a misunderstanding



## Photoninja (Mar 21, 2010)

My husband and I decided to work on our marriage in stead of divorcing, and right after he wanted to have sex. I told him no not now, realizing that wasn't completely what I meant I told him and the mediator what i was trying to get out. I struggle to get the right works for what I am saying, like there is some miscommunicate between my head and mouth. I have to fight to get out what I mean, and my husband knows this he sees me struggle and annoyed with my self. but since i'm the only one of my kind with this problem he knows, he doesn't believe me. I told them I didn't want to have sex right now, and kick out the guest in our home out, but I was okay with doing it when ever they left. Since then he hasn't forgiving me. He says it doesn't matter what I really meant or said just that I hurt him with the first thing that popped out while I was struggling for words. I told him how can we move on when he can't even move on from a misunderstanding. 

What do I do?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

You have to get it out of your head that this is all over a misunderstanding. He feels rejected and this is not an isolated incident or else he would not have reacted like this. He's felt rejected for awhile. He doesnt feel good around you. 

You need to work on validating how he feels and also be willing to make him feel more wanted around you. You did reject him whether you meant to or not. He was obviously being vulnerable and you shut him down. whether that's what you meant to do is completely irrelevant. empathize with how he is feeling rather then try to rationalize whether he should be feeling that way or not.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

:iagree:

Having sex with him might help him get past this misunderstanding...guest or no guest when there is a will there is a way


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## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

Sometimes the way a partner responds to the other partners issues can makes things worse. Try to validate his feelings then give him some time to cool off and think about it. Then, you'll both be in a better position to resolve the issue and move on.


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