# Need Advice Please



## SadWifeinBama (Feb 29, 2008)

My husband and I have been married for almost 22 years. We have 2 children ages, 18 and 15. I have been unhappy the past 8 years but have not left because of the kids. My husband is very irritable and short-fused. Although he has never been physically abusive, I think his outbursts of temper could be classified as verbally abusive. He always says I am the one who is to blame and that I am the irritable one. I have tried to stay for the kids but lately my 15 year old has stated that he cannot live with his dad the way he is much longer. My son says "Dad is always mad and Mom is always sad". I am so upset. I really think my husband suffers from clinical depression (he has the signs/symptoms) but he refuses to see a doctor about it. Please help! What would you do in my situation?


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

SadWifeinBama said:


> My husband and I have been married for almost 22 years. We have 2 children ages, 18 and 15. I have been unhappy the past 8 years but have not left because of the kids. My husband is very irritable and short-fused. Although he has never been physically abusive, I think his outbursts of temper could be classified as verbally abusive. He always says I am the one who is to blame and that I am the irritable one. I have tried to stay for the kids but lately my 15 year old has stated that he cannot live with his dad the way he is much longer. My son says "Dad is always mad and Mom is always sad". I am so upset. I really think my husband suffers from clinical depression (he has the signs/symptoms) but he refuses to see a doctor about it. Please help! What would you do in my situation?


In your situation I would probably make arrangements to live alone with the kids. While making those preparations I would let him know that, should he not get help, *he* will have to leave. I would set a date. If that date passed and there wasn't verifiable evidence of his getting help, and things were not changing, he would come home one day to find his things waiting for him at the curb.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

SageMother said:


> he would come home one day to find his things waiting for him at the curb.


That is illegal without a court order.

draconis


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

SadWifeinBama said:


> My husband and I have been married for almost 22 years. We have 2 children ages, 18 and 15. I have been unhappy the past 8 years but have not left because of the kids. My husband is very irritable and short-fused. Although he has never been physically abusive, I think his outbursts of temper could be classified as verbally abusive. He always says I am the one who is to blame and that I am the irritable one. I have tried to stay for the kids but lately my 15 year old has stated that he cannot live with his dad the way he is much longer. My son says "Dad is always mad and Mom is always sad". I am so upset. I really think my husband suffers from clinical depression (he has the signs/symptoms) but he refuses to see a doctor about it. Please help! What would you do in my situation?


I would tell him that if he doesn't see the doctor then he might need to see a lawyer about divorce. 

Besides depression he might actually have bipolar.

draconis


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