# How do I bring up the subject nicely to hubby about pics I found?



## confusedandwondering (Aug 16, 2011)

I was on his skype the other day and found some pics of a woman we both know , I beleive they had a past EA. About a year after we first started living together . He hasnt talked to her in about 4 years and then I find her on his FB , and then the pics of her on skype , two were of her chest , she had a tank top on , but very revealing . We have been having some problems of late , bout a month . He says he is broken and needs help to fix it . we went to a counsler , she asked him what he wanted and he told her he wanted to fix his marriage and be "in" love with me again . Not that he doesnt love me . He does . Our major problem is he is gane alot due to work . Work takes him away from home for weeks at a time. I thought having the skype would help us keep connected , but as I feared he is abusing it . How do I bring this up to him without sounding like Im being a [email protected] or accusing ? By the way he has never really cheated on me in our 8 years of marriage .other then me suspecting the EA with this woman. Any advice would helpful , thanks


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

Hey there confusedandwondering,

I wish I had some awesome advice but I can't say I've been in your particular situation exactly but when I found that my H friended a coworker on FB and her profile pic was her cleavage I lost it and just asked him about it up front. I think it's kind of hard to ask about the pictures of her chest without sounding a bit accusatory but you can always ask if he has heard from said woman recently. Since you both know her it won't seem too suspicious. I can relate on the separation due to work situation my H is a truck driver and he is gone all week sometimes I don't see him for 2 weeks and it's recently starting to take a toll on our relationship he wants to come home play video games and go back to work but I miss him physically I mean yes we do have sex but with a toddler around it makes it a bit difficult anyway I'm rambling back to the subject the nicest way to bring it up may be asking if he has heard from her lately, you can also add just a suggestion tho that you are thinking of looking her up, on skype although at that point he may pick up that you have already seen these pics but either way I wish you good luck
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## iaminhell (Sep 4, 2011)

Get rid of him. Shame on her. I won't tolerate that garbage. He either loves you and is committed or he doesn't. which is it. I'm sorry for your situation. confronting him will only intensify the problem. Trust me I've been there. Go to her.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

confusedandwondering said:


> I was on his skype the other day and found some pics of a woman we both know , I beleive they had a past EA. About a year after we first started living together . He hasnt talked to her in about 4 years and then I find her on his FB , and then the pics of her on skype , two were of her chest , she had a tank top on , but very revealing . We have been having some problems of late , bout a month . He says he is broken and needs help to fix it . we went to a counsler , she asked him what he wanted and he told her he wanted to fix his marriage and be "in" love with me again . Not that he doesnt love me . He does . Our major problem is he is gane alot due to work . Work takes him away from home for weeks at a time. I thought having the skype would help us keep connected , but as I feared he is abusing it . How do I bring this up to him without sounding like Im being a [email protected] or accusing ? By the way he has never really cheated on me in our 8 years of marriage .other then me suspecting the EA with this woman. Any advice would helpful , thanks


You have to be strong without accusing. Assert your personal boundaries without whining. My H had a BBM conact with some ho in a bikini as her profile shot. I asked bluntly if our boundaries re: messenger contacts had changed and if so, then I would be editing mine to include some firemen I knew. I was STRONG and unemotional. Worked for me.
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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

This is a couple weeks old already, but if you haven't yet I wouldn't bring up the subject until you've done some more research. Do the keylogger and VAR under the car seat thing, if he's having affair you need to get the evidence now not later since he will just do everything to hide it anyways. If your research comes up empty, then start talking to him about your relationship and start reinforcing it.


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