# Do you love your spouse? I mean really in love, I dont



## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

I admit im in marriage now for my kids only, wife feel same thing. if we divorce she would take kids to different country or state and cant live without seeing them. 
I dont seem I love my wife, I dont feel anything toward her. I guess I will live my life now for my kids nothing more.
Even i stopped seeing her beautiful, I tried to love but I couldnt. I dont have feeling to any other woman and dont talk to any one except my wife. 
is that normal? any one in same situation. counsoling wont create love, i think when I married her I was just lusting and had a crush, we were in long distance relashionship.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

ArabianKnight said:


> if we divorce she would take kids to different country or state and cant live without seeing them.


Assuming you live in the U.S., she cannot take the children, without the court's permission, to another state. It's called kidnapping, and it's a federal offense. Parents are not permitted to arbitrarily leave their home state with their children. That is why the court assigns primary/custodial custody and child support. Sure, she can bolt and you will never see your kids again. Then you would be bogged down in the judicial system trying to get your kids back. It sounds like this is a threat she is holding over your head to make you stay in the marriage.

I would suggest you go to an attorney, without her knowledge, and see how you can legally stop her from leaving with your children.




ArabianKnight said:


> i think when I married her I was just lusting and had a crush, we were in long distance relashionship.


Been in that situation myself. My estranged husband and I casually dated as friends for nine months; as soon as it became serious, the Army deployed him out-of-state, so I only saw him on weekends. That lasted for all of five weeks before he proposed. We never had a real up-close relationship. Long distance can cause people to develop infatuations and become in love with the idea of love; it doesn't bode well for a relationship based on genuine compatibility.

So, how about visiting an attorney? This would give you the needed information and, hopefully, legal power to keep your wife from bolting with the kids.

P.S. - In answer to your original question as to whether or not I really love my spouse; it varies. I think I love him more now that he's eight months sober than I ever did when he was drunk most of the time; however, he inflicted a great deal of damage.


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

would you sacrify just for your kids, I mean being married to someone you dont love just for the sake of the kids to have both parents and same house together.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Never. Eventually, either one of you will meet someone else (you probably do "look"?) and then you will have a good reason to get a divorce. So why not spare the kids the agony of infidelity?

You either learn to love your spouse or you don't. What does she have to say? do she love you?


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

I never looked, and never thought about looking


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## youngandunhappy (Oct 1, 2011)

Yes I would.You chose to have and to bring and bring up these children and look what adults who had an unstable upbringing do with thier lives...I dont say this lightly though.If your children can feel the tension and hatred between you and your wife perhaps it might be better to seperate.Or if you yell and fight with each other this is not healthy either.Are you still sleeping in the same bed?Do you at least talk about groceries?house rules?kids curfews?things like that?

I think I am in love with my husband yes, but love hurts.


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

yes we sleep in same bed, we talk plans and go shopping togerther we talk like married couple, we watch movies together etc. we have happy kids, everything provided to them they are both loved.

I cant live without my two kids, I cant go by without seeing them before i go to sleep and after waking up to go to work. they are everything to me and the happiness that shine in this life.


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## timbre (Oct 3, 2011)

Kids are more insightfull than we ever give them credit for. They will see right through the charade and resent you later in life for it. I have a very close friend that had parents like this. The parents stayed together for the kids, but as soon as the kids were out of the nest... the parents split.

I remember many a time talking to me friend and he would ask me about things that my parents did or didn't do.

They KNOW... My own marrige is far from perfect... its been a rough couple of years. My 4 year old son can tell when we are having rough times. We do the same thing... sleep in the same bed, do things together, parent together.... but there is still something that shows when we aren't content with each other. He will call me on it.

So my opinon... Yes it may hurt the children right now, but in the long run it will be better for them. What the other perrson said is correct... One half of the parents can't leave the state without the others permission. Not even for a 1 day vacation/road trip.

I understand your kids are the light of your life.... Mine are to me, but you have to step back and also think about what is good for yourself. I don't know how old the kids are but try and imagine yourself 18 years down the road doing the exact same thing you are doing now....


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