# wife really wants me gone



## rainingagain (Sep 12, 2010)

Hi. Have posted before about this, and I hoped things were getting better, but every day she complains about me. Now its come back to her wanting me to leave, and to sign papers. But we have a 3 year old and one on the way. I cant stand the daily depression she's going through and the constant negativity, and I care about what its doing to us all. I want to stay together and work things out but she really seems to have made up her mind. She's 29 and I'm 31. We have a lot of issues but I just wish there were a chance. Any suggestions? Oh, and I have nowhere to go, except for potential jobs overseas I can apply for. She says she wants to move on and I dont want to be selfish. She doesnt think the kids will be affected, and claims to be totally prepared to deal with two kids on her own, even going to the hospital./ Is there any sense that even someone as subhuman and useless as I apparently am, can do to influence things or is it too late? Thanks!


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## rainingagain (Sep 12, 2010)

Sorry-that was a mistake=I'm 41 and she's 29. I wanted to illustrate one potential reason why the compatibility is so strained.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

rainingagain said:


> Oh, and I have nowhere to go, except for potential jobs overseas I can apply for.


:scratchhead: Why is this? Are you currently out of work? If you have a job, why couldn't you move out? Sorry, not understanding this part.


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## rainingagain (Sep 12, 2010)

We're both staying at my wife's father's house, while I do my dissertation for my MA, and so that she can give birth in Canada.


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## rainingagain (Sep 12, 2010)

I've decided that the best thing to do is accept it, and already I feel a massive weight lifting from me. Yeah, sure, in an ideal world I'd fight to stay married and to stay a family, but it would continue to be strained and she would resent me more and more. At least this way the pressure's gone and time will show whether this is really what we're meant to do. Personally, I think it is. She's not happy, and I can't force her to stay with me. Also, every day is horrible for all 3 of us because of her discontent and all the other things she's going thru. But not to see my daughter again, and the new one, that will kill me!!!!! also, deep down I'm still head over heels in love with my beautiful wife.


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## rainingagain (Sep 12, 2010)

I feel she might agree to try if I can assure her that I will pleasure her and show I am there to satisfy her, on a regular basis. But she doesnt trust me to follow thru and says I am all talk. I am seriously ready to commit to a relationship built on regular sex and consideration. But how can I convince her to open up one final time, and really win her heart back?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

rainingagain said:


> We're both staying at my wife's father's house, while I do my dissertation for my MA, and so that she can give birth in Canada.


I see. Is the university near you in Canada? If so, are there any opportunities to work there (teacher's assistant, etc) and/or obtain housing?



rainingagain said:


> I feel she might agree to try if I can assure her that I will pleasure her and show I am there to satisfy her, on a regular basis. But she doesnt trust me to follow thru and says I am all talk. I am seriously ready to commit to a relationship built on regular sex and consideration. But how can I convince her to open up one final time, and really win her heart back?


A little confused again. This sounds like her main problem is lack of sex or that the sex is one-sided and focused on you, not her pleasure. Is that what you mean here?

I don't think just giving in and doing whatever she wants will be the answer. She is harboring a lot of resentment towards you and has lost respect for you. I really believe regaining her trust and respect will be necessary in order for you to really improve your marriage...which will be much better for you (all of you) in the long run vs. scrambling to stay together today by doing whatever you think she may want. 

If you can secure a job it will help in the area of respect. It would also enable you to take charge of your family, take her out on dates...let her see you are your own man & don't need to rely on her family.


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