# Wish me luck



## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I was originally going to wait 6 months to start dating after my divorce, but after being out of the game for so long I felt rusty with my flirting skills and decided to just contact a few girls on a dating site just to see what would happen. I heard that most girls don't respond anyway, so it couldn't hurt. Well, it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I messaged 4 girls and got 3 responses, 2 phone numbers (I didn't ask the 3rd for her number because I don't think we have compatible personalities), and already the first date planned with one of them. I am going to keep it casual/friendly vs a romantic date but am looking forward to meeting new people, making some friends, and having some fun.

Feel free to harass me about rebound relationships or taking time to rediscover myself, but in all actuality I'm really in a good place. I'm grounded and know exactly who I am, understand that going on dates doesn't mean I am entering a relationship, and have enough sense to not escalate thing with a girl until I know I am ready. Mostly, I just want to go out and have some fun.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Just don't talk about the x during the entire date. :grin2:


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Definitely. Isn't there an unspoken rule that you never talk about an ex for the first several dates?


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

you would think there is, That unspoken word, but the ones i have been on seems like it pops up pretty fast. had a date last week, and she dropped that conversation on me during our first meeting. It does kind of bother me a little. One time i felt she was comparing me to her Ex (At least i hope so, That's another thing i have found out out there, a lot of Married girls) with all of the questions, i understand that its a start of a friendship but dang, lets have another date and take it from there.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

good for BP, have fun and just enjoy yourself


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Have fun, just make your dates aware that's what you want.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Have fun!


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Just have fun. There is no rule that you cant date right away. I think we have too many people who play armchair therapist and repeat the line about waiting to date/needing to learn to be alone blah blah blah. There just isnt a right answer. Every person is different.

I know for myself I was alone in my marriage the last 10 years. I didnt need to learn to be by myself. I could do that like a champ! And I didnt rebound date but I did date and had a good time. I just enjoyed the experience of meeting new people. Now, Im dating someone 6 months and its really good. 

It doesnt have to be a negative experience. Your early dating life can be a positive to prepare you for another relationship down the road.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

brooklynAnn said:


> Just don't talk about the x during the entire date. :grin2:


Also be ready for your ex to LOSE HER [email protected]#$ING MIND once she learns that you're dating.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

It is actually a very therapeutic thing to do. These are all selfish reasons, but as long as you are upfront and honest with your date, it is OK.
First it will allow you to see where your head is really at. You may think you are ready but find out when push comes to shove that you aren't. On the other hand, you may think you aren't ready but be amazed at how easily you transition.
Secondly it will allow you to find out what is out there. At times this can be a real confidence builder for the future. Especially if you meet some true winners. At the same time it can be discouraging if you run across a stream of losers.
Thirdly, it helps you see that while being divorced may be a new and unexplored territory full of unknowns, there are lots and lots of other people out there going thru the same thing.
As others have said, go out and just have fun. Meet new people, make new friends. Learn from them. And don't have any other expectations.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Bananapeel said:


> I was originally going to wait 6 months to start dating after my divorce, but after being out of the game for so long I felt rusty with my flirting skills and decided to just contact a few girls on a dating site just to see what would happen. I heard that most girls don't respond anyway, so it couldn't hurt. Well, it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I messaged 4 girls and got 3 responses, 2 phone numbers (I didn't ask the 3rd for her number because I don't think we have compatible personalities), and already the first date planned with one of them. I am going to keep it casual/friendly vs a romantic date but am looking forward to meeting new people, making some friends, and having some fun.
> 
> Feel free to harass me about rebound relationships or taking time to rediscover myself, but in all actuality I'm really in a good place. I'm grounded and know exactly who I am, understand that going on dates doesn't mean I am entering a relationship, and have enough sense to not escalate thing with a girl until I know I am ready. Mostly, I just want to go out and have some fun.


How's the Ex doing?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Also be ready for your ex to LOSE HER [email protected]#$ING MIND once she learns that you're dating.


Gus, you have a crystal ball? She just called and asked me to watch the kids for her so she could go on a bike ride with some friends and I told her that I couldn't because I had plans. She pressed and I told her I didn't want to discuss it with her. Then the crazy started coming out... 

I'm going to do a freeze out until she starts behaving better. This is nuts.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Talked with the XW yesterday and got everything sorted out and calmed down. She's apparently already been dating so was able to understand my desire to do the same. All's good and drama free!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Good luck and be as open with your expectations as you can possibly be.


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