# Be nice to the girl



## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

*What would you like your partner to do for you*


In this thread we would like to ask you to contribute with examples of gestures and activities that would make you feel loved and appreciated by your partner.

So ladies and gentlemen please contribute and let's biuld a reference, a collection of gold nuggets of emmotional
fulfillment. The precise goal is for the man who is inclined to develop these key skills to have this 
information to turn to and use. 

Please feel free to add personal stories and examples.

Longer explanation just below.


I would like to draw your attention to a curious phenomenon. It seems that most relationships start out with
both partners having good intentions. They want to be happy and want their partner to be happy as well. 
It also seems that most relationships as they progress they reach an imbalanced state sooner or later. 
In other words the two partners end up not liking eachother that much. 

So if you want to make your partner happy and your partner want's the same what is happening in the middle?
Well there must be a misunderstanding or two somehere along the line that throws a wrench in the works.

Now granted the actual mechanisms of a long term relationship are diverse and complex but there is a recurring
theme, a series of key skills that when mastered have a powerful positive impact on the dynamics.

The key skills have to do with developing the habbits that fulfill your partner's emmotional needs. The 
misunderstanding is often unspoken and it has to do with the fact that both men and women seem to offer
support, affection, love with different views of what is important and how. 

One of the key skills for men inside a relationship is fulfilling their partner's emotional needs.

To that end this topic has been started. The intention here is to gather a large collection of actions that 
a man can do to meet a woman's emmotional needs. 

Often when counselling we advise men that every time they feel horny they should do something nice for their girl.
This is not directed at getting more sex even though it often leads to more balance in that department. The
corelation is used to convey frequency. You see most men would naturally do gestures less often and more grand
and expensive. While that is certainly appreciated less grand and expensive and far more frequent gestures are
also vitally important. Furthermore as per their natural instinct men considder them providing for their family
as a great act of love because their focus is there and often neglect the little things as unimportant. And 
again while the big things are apreciated and important, the small things are almost equally so. 

Finally there is surprising symetry in misunderstandings on both sides. Many women would be surprised to learn
that a simmilar situation happens on their side. Hence we created the thread "Be nice to the boy".



We will regularly read the posts and update the table of contents with your contributions with links to your 
description.


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Categories: 

*Protector *
Be strong and take the lead
getting up earlier in the freezing mornings to defrost/ clean windscreen so I don't get cold
handled my car issues for me
standing up to me when his family says something out of line about me

*Affectionate*
Hugs and Kisses 
holding hands. If I am next to H, he will now grab my hand if talking to someone else to make me feel more included/ secure
Compliment without being asked
Be spontaneous and surprising
Small acts of service

*Supportive*
I just need him to listen and offer support, not try to fix my problem
listening to my ideas without interfering, stepping in when things go pear shaped without saying ' I told you so'
Listen with your full attention
Encourage her to achieve her goals

*Concerned lover*
Communication and foreplay


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

He compliments me and notices things about me, every day, without me having to ask him or prompt him. That makes me feel sexy.


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## mc1234 (Jun 9, 2012)

Protector, getting up earlier in the freezing mornings to defrost/ clean windscreen so I don't get cold
Supportive, listening to my ideas without interfering, stepping in when things go pear shaped without saying ' I told you so'
Affectionate, holding hands. If I am next to H, he will now grab my hand if talking to someone else to make me feel more included/ secure
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Lovely,

Well done. Keep them coming.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I like to feel Protected by knowing my H has handled my car issues for me, not told me about them... he knows i don't have the time. 
Also standing up to me when his family says something out of line about me, would be nice too, when he knows and believes it is out of line but chooses instead to say nothing. 
Affectionate: Hugs, DEEP kisses, not just a peck, keep me knowing he wants me, touching my hair not just going straight for the parts he really wants, lead in to the later of wants. 
Supportive: When I am struggling with something sometimes I just need him to listen and offer support, not try to fix my problem, maybe offer advice, but not immediately go into well you really should do this, or the problem with how you are viewing it is this... yada yada... then it makes me not want to talk to him about things and instead talk to my friends. THen I miss the emotional connection with my husband.
Also I think you missed a BIG one SEX: that is a HUGE theme here on TAM: So I will say, communication, and a mix, after being married a while men just "expect" it and forget the lead in that women's bodies require to feel desired, to want to make love, etc. The more we have foreplay, the more we want sex... remember that. Then we feel closer to you, adn will initiate and engage you more often and be more fulfilling of your needs requests in this department.


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## ukf32 (Jul 10, 2012)

I'm pretty new to the forum but wanted to leave a comment from my perspective. Not read enough threads to know if there's a general consensus or if others would agree but...

Even though I'm a strong, intelligent individual there are times I need him to be the stronger one. So if we have issues with finances, the children, things need fixing or organising- I really appreciate the times where he takes the lead. 

I like spontaneity in some things- in bed, meals, leisure activity...I get annoyed if he needs a step by step guide for things, it makes things too contrived. 

I love the little things he does for me that make me feel like I matter- when he makes me a cup of tea or draws me a bath or buys me my favourite chocolate bar when he goes to the shop.

Even though we often have different opinions he will always listen to mine. We talk often- about anything and everything and I think enjoying just being in each other's company is a key foundation. May seem ridiculously obvious but I know that married couples aren't always good friends, from what I've seen around me, those are the marriages that struggle the most.

He has been supportive of me throughout our time together and because of that I am now on a career path I have dreamed of for a long time. I love that this will benefit both of us and our family and I really feel that without him I would never have pursued my goals.

Never ever take your partner for granted. (When you're alone, take time to REALLY think about and appreciate all the things you enjoy about your partner and your marriage.)


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

> Also I think you missed a BIG one SEX: that is a HUGE theme here on TAM


The sex category would be "Concerned lover". Hinting that a wise man would be concerned with his partner's emotional and physical pleasure.


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

FreedomCorp said:


> The sex category would be "Concerned lover". Hinting that a wise man would be concerned with his partner's emotional and physical pleasure.


Apt enough.


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