# letting go



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

How do you know when to let go? I am in the anger stage now, if you know my story then you understand. I am not gonna make any rash decisions now, but how do you know when you are done? Right now, in my anger I just wanna say eff it. I just don't know what to do, I just wish I could turn the clock back. Right now it would be so easy to call him and say I am effin done, but I know we can make it work. Anyways, I am wondering other peoples perspective. Tomorrow morning I am more than likely to wake up and be all about him, why the hell does the one who is being hurt have to be the one to take the high road?????

I know he loves me, I don't doubt that, I know there is a part of him that wants to work it out, but I don't wanna wait 2 years for it. I honestly don't wanna split and have him come to me after that and admit that it was a mistake. I am thinking of my kids right now. I don't wanna split up and some time down the road daddy and mommy get back together after divorce. I want things figured out in the near future....6 months 1 year, etc. I don't want to put them through that emotional limbo.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

*I know he loves me, I don't doubt that, I know there is a part of him that wants to work it out, but I don't wanna wait 2 years for it. *

Or as St. Augustine said "Dear God make me holy, just not now". But seriously, it's either one thing or the other. It's either with you or not. Not sort-of with you. Not let me get back to you after I'm done burning down this over here.

Here's what I would do. I would apply the 'million dollar test'. If I had a million dollars......? what would I do. If you had to wait two years and he came back to you and none of the stuff now happened, then what? How much would put on hold. Who would you pass on? Which lost opportunities are worth it?


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I would take him back in a heartbeat. I just have 3 kids to think of. There are two of the 3 showing issues, eldest...anger, youngest saying stuff, like if daddy separates from you, I am gonna separate from him, I don't want that. Again I hate real life.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Well, then sad to say, you're the one with issues, not so much him. But that's me. I carry grudges to the grave. Cross me, you're dead to me forever.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I am one to give chances, ohhhh I know I am the one with issues right now, never said i wasn't. Pretty sure I was whining about my issues above haha.


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## 8yearscheating (Oct 14, 2010)

Paramore, I'm moving to the future after discovering 20 years and three men in my wifes past. She knows I can't forget and I know I can't beat her up daily about it or we will never stay together. Believe me, I know it's tough to move on. I'm only making sure she figures out the why and how to prevent it in the future. Niether of us deserved this.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

No neither of you did. I just pray he wakes up and wants his wife and intact family. He, myself and our kids don't deserve any of this. Consequences suck.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

paramore said:


> I just pray he wakes up and wants his wife and intact family. He, myself and our kids don't deserve any of this. Consequences suck.


I think the same thing pretty much every single day, my H, tells me he hates me and never wants to be with me ever... and HE'S the one that cheated.. he makes it everyone elses fault he can't accept his part.

I don't know if he'll ever change and I hate every second of what he's putting us through!


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