# Overloaded and overwhelmed



## svenetc (Feb 21, 2020)

Hi, 
I have not posted here for a long while.
However. I am still in a middle of a divorce case. My (Ex) left without warning more then a year ago.
I went through all kind of emotional stages and now I am stuck.
She will not at all, - despite any efforts on my end talk to me. Not at all.

For many month she is having a guy with her, goes on vacation with him and one of our kids. All fine by me.
I am over her.
How can I move on if she is doing nothing but blocking the road in any possible way ?

We were married for almost 18 years and sure there were Up's and Down's along the way. But we have tow kids (16 and 18 ) and they are pretty much independent anymore.
We never had a fight, no drugs no cheating no NOTHING.
All the sudden she left for another guy. Took me a while to get over it. But I am fine with it now. Now I just want to sort stuff out right but she is not communicating.
That divorce should been long done and things settled. But she is stubborn and basically split her and my family members outside of that marriage apart..
She seems not to care at all. All her and nobody else matters.

I found a friend on here and could pour out my heart and implemented that in my life for good.
It just did not help with basics .In matter fact it made it worse.

So after all that ...my question is - How in the heck can I open a communication channel with my Ex ?

I know it is all discussed maybe 1000 times ... I am just struggling to keep myself together and my life worth it.
Although I am perfectly fine with the divorce. I just want to part in peace and like a couple of grown up adults.

Thanks !


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

What’s your lawyer say about all this ?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Why the need to talk with her? Have her lawyer and yours talk about anything pertinent to the divorce. At SOME point, you should be able to force the issue. Have your lawyer bring this to court and she WILL have to respond (she may not show up, but her lawyer will have to show that she is working towards this). Your lawyer needs to push this.

For the kids, you can setup a co-parent software so AGAIN you don't have to talk.
Why would you WANT to talk with a woman who did this to you. Oh, yeah, you say NO CHEATING? Except she DID cheat on you -- why do you think she left!


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I am confused as you say things like "I am over her", "I am fine with it now" but then say "I am just struggling to keep myself together". It is traumatic to have her leave you like that, and it is understandable you would be in a lot of distress right now.

IDK if you'd feel better if she talked to you or not, but it doesn't matter b/c she won't and you can't change that.

A counsellor can listen to what you're going through, give you helpful ways to look at it, and things to do that will help you move on. I think it can help people in your situation.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Is your friend on here male or female?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

why can't you ask for a default judgement from the courts?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

you seem to be like one of those 14 years old girls that just lost her first puppy love, and it's going through such drama that she can't help herself. 

Dude: you're a grown ass man. At least act like one. 



svenetc said:


> So after all that ...my question is - How in the heck can I open a communication channel with my Ex ?


Why the hell do you want to do that? Don't you have any self respect? she's been ****ing other men. She's made her life already away from you, why can't you just respect her decision?



svenetc said:


> Took me a while to get over it. But I am fine with it now. Now I just want to sort stuff out right but she is not communicating.


No. You have not gotten over it, not even close. See above quote.



svenetc said:


> Although I am perfectly fine with the divorce. I just want to part in peace and like a couple of grown up adults.


Again, no, you're not fine with it. Why should at this stage care about anything? she's gone, dude just let it be. There's nothing to talk about it. She made it absolutely, completely clear, why can't you accept that. Your stubbornness indicates issues which, may be relevant as to why your wife just got up and left. Think about it.


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