# What do you consider to be a traditional marriage?



## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

I see the term "traditional marriage" thrown around a lot here, and there always seems to be a different meaning depending on the context of the thread. I honestly think this is pretty subjective and am curious what people here think.

So what do you consider a traditional marriage? What do you consider to be a modern one?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Traditional family: Breadwinner dad, sahm.

Modern family: Two earner (but similar income) family.


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## Richle (Sep 1, 2016)

Love marriage between two equal-status people. Children after 2-3 years. Husband earns more than wife.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

jld said:


> Breadwinner dad, sahm.
> 
> *Two earner (but similar income) family.*


Well we are already out of the running. I work only a few hours a week, he works more than full time although I do earn my income from investments. We outsource some of the home chores and between all of us get the rest done. We are a blended family and a democracy.

Of course being a modern family absolutely means we are committed, passionate, fair and equitable, trusting and honest people. We operate in a very cohesive manner and work hard to meet everyone"s needs. Life here is based on equity more than equality.

To me a modern marriage is any thing other than a tradition marriage ie the type of marriage from the 50's where the man was the head of the household. Could be a same sex couple, he is SAHD and she is a WOHM, blended family, or a family with no kids. All sorts of great and interesting combinations.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MrsHolland said:


> Well we are already out of the running. I work only a few hours a week, he works more than full time although I do earn my income from investments. We outsource some of the home chores and between all of us get the rest done. We are a blended family and a democracy.
> 
> Of course being a modern family absolutely means we are committed, passionate, fair and equitable, trusting and honest people. We operate in a very cohesive manner and work hard to meet everyone"s needs. *Life here is based on equity more than equality.*
> 
> To me a modern marriage is any thing other than a tradition marriage ie the type of marriage from the 50's where the man was the head of the household. Could be a same sex couple, he is SAHD and she is a WOHM, blended family, or a family with no kids. All sorts of great and interesting combinations.


Good points. I often tend to think of power in terms of money. But there are of course other types of power, too.

Could you elaborate on the bolded, please?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Things are divided up on a needs basis, eg time with the kids is based on what they currently need. MrH has time alone with his kids and I have time with mine. 
If one of the kids is in the middle of a heavy study load or exams, the others need to do more chores.
If one needs new shoes, they don't all get new shoes.
etc


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Makes sense, MrsHolland. Thanks for answering my question.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Basically husband is responsible for supporting family finically, and making sure the "manly jobs" are done. So the cars are taken care of, the yard work is done, driveway is done, plumbing, he always makes sure the family finances are good, invests/saves for retirement or whatever. 


Wife responsible for running the house, keeping a clean house (whether you do it yourself or you delegate it to others, the wife makes sure it's done), feeding everyone, making sure everyone is eating healthy, making sure food is in the house, making doctors/dentist appointments, keeping people on schedule, knowing what everyone is doing and what needs to be done and telling people what needs to be done. For example.... Babe it's timmys soccer game don't forget, so after work meet us at the field. And it's your grandma birthday today so don't forget to call her!" 
Oh and the wife may or may not work outside the house.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

A modern home to me is when spouses have separate banking accounts. Do their own laundry. Take care of their own car, ect. Modern marriages imo are yours and mine type of attitude.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

One man and one woman in an equal partnership joined by love.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I see it as a working husband, and stay at home mother. A asymmetric, but equal arrangement. Financial authority with the husband, authority over the children and house with the mother. 

It is not a situation I would personally want, but is fine for those who do want it.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I see it as:

Traditional: One man and one woman raising kids (or not). Who the breadwinner is doesn't matter. 

Modern marriage includes open relationships, gay and lesbian, etc. 

My wife makes more than I do but I still consider our marriage a traditional marriage. We have two kids, we work, we live our lives. We don't swing or bring other people into our relationship. 

BTW, I don't disparage against the modern marriages I mentioned above.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Traditional: man leads, woman supports.
Modern: theoretically equal, but woman is actually the boss. (Obviously only for heterosexual marriages.)


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Traditional marriage is one that can last through good and bad times. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Marriage has changed a lot in the past 100 years or so, and has changed as much or more over the centuries. So, what's traditional? What your parents or grandparents had? Or, is it what was typical for the past few hundred years? And of course, traditions vary by country and culture, as well as time.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)




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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

The word traditional is a matter of perspective.

It depends on how the two people in that marriage define traditional.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I initially think of traditional as from the 50's. 

Husband goes to work, earns the money, wife takes care of the home and perhaps children. 

Recently my husband and I debated the concept of house-wife without children. He doesn't think a house-wife exists anymore; that women without children don't keep house. I said some would have that arrangement and he disagreed. I playfully suggested I'd like to stay home. He pointed out that I'd need to cook and sew and chop trees (whah?! haha) listed off a bunch of other things I'm clueless about. Alright, smart-arse. Then the more he mentioned, the more he thought this sounded great..! ha ha. 

We both work. No kids.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

My personal view - Wife can be SAHM or work outside the home, depending on what the couple feels makes sense for them. Husband is the spiritual leader of the household, leads the wife/family.


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## Dallow Spicer (Sep 5, 2016)

A couple in a committed relationship cohabiting, each providing an equal contribution.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

heartsbeating said:


> I initially think of traditional as from the 50's.
> 
> Husband goes to work, earns the money, wife takes care of the home and perhaps children.
> 
> ...


My wife has been a stay-at-home-wife for the last 15 years or so, although she has worked in the past.

I'm staying home right at the moment (sort of retired) but expect to start working again part time shortly.

No kids.


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