# Am I crazy or WHAT!!!!!



## ohsobless (Aug 8, 2011)

Got married in 2004, separated in 2006. Stayed in close contact with my husband until 2010. After that we difted a part.
I never dated but he did have a few sexual encounters that he told me about, said he felt guilty, and wanted to tell me about it. Well that was in 2009. Since we separted we are getting a divorce, and I still haven't dated or have been with a man. Now he is getting married next year and as for me...still waiting for the divorce so that I can move on with my life. I am upset with God because since I'm not divorce that I can't date or be with a man (in that way). But my husband has meant someone, moved on with his life and I'm just stuck! I've got to admit this out loud that I'm still in love with my husband, and I was the one to ask for the divorce long before he meant this person. I had my reasons but they were not reasons enough to get a divorce. I know that's not giving you much to go on, but it is too long and drawn out to go into. Let's just say that our step children didn't give us much of a choice! 

My point is that I'm lonely, I can't do anything to change what is happening in his life...only want the best for us both. I'm jealious that I'm stuck being alone until the divorce. To be honest, I don't want a divorce, but things are what they are. I've meant someone and would really like to date him, and maybe SOMEDAY, give myself to him. I've explain to this deacon of a church, how things are in my life. He seems to understand, but thinks that I am taking the issue of dating way out of proportion. So for now I will only see him once and a while as a friend. That's not so bad but it's been over four years since I've been with a man, and it's starting to get on my LAST nerve! It wakes me up at night, thinking of my husband with this woman, and me left hugging my pillow. The two of them making plans for their life together, and I'm making soup for one! I know I shouldn't think about what's going on in his life because I'm only making things up in my mind about the two of them, and I don't really know for sure how things are...besides it's really none of my business. But he has what I want, a realionship!!! God help me!!!! We were best friends long before we married. Now I can only pray for him and HER because my husband and I are not divorced yet...so I pray for their souls. I must admit that I asked several times for this divorce, even made up tha I was interested in someone else and wanted to get on with my life. Even then he didn't want to divorce even after the separation. Why did I lie!!!!

I'd confessed to the Lord my sins, had prayed about getting back together with my husband! But I gave up hope, after finding out that he recently met someone and was getting married after the divorce, (paper work still haven't been done). It took him 5 years of asking me to marry him before I said yes. Three years of not wanting to divorce me even after I had him to leave the house. I guess I got what I was asking. Now I want my husband back but it is too late. I just didn't want our children (step children) to continue to argue about where we all should live...his state or mine. My husband and I moved around to so many places before we got married to suit the children, and it is because of them, I had to make a decision. Anyways, he's back in his small town were it all begain with his childdren. I'm here in this big city with my children. Too much time has lasped between he and I. I use to think that there was nothing to hard for God. But things are the way there are I guess for a reason. I'm just soooo sick of being lonely. Any advice from my faith believing sisters or brothers...heck or anyone else?


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

ohsobless said:


> Got married in 2004, separated in 2006. Stayed in close contact with my husband until 2010. After that we difted a part.
> I never dated but he did have a few sexual encounters that he told me about, said he felt guilty, and wanted to tell me about it. Well that was in 2009. Since we separted we are getting a divorce, and I still haven't dated or have been with a man. Now he is getting married next year and as for me...still waiting for the divorce so that I can move on with my life. I am upset with God because since I'm not divorce that I can't date or be with a man (in that way).


Im aware of the legalities of seperation, but what does the bible say about it? (sorry, athiest jab)

From my point of view, when you seperated all your oaths become abolished in the eyes of god. Im sure he has better things to do than wait around for the paperwork to go through so it can properly proclaim you divorced.

You are still legally married/ seperated, but Im sure in the eyes of your god you are free to frolick with men once again.

cheers.


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## amanda s. (Sep 24, 2011)

So you are a religious woman, take this to heart..

God has a plan for everyone whether it's dealing with life or love. You may never get your husband back BUT you cannot close off the rest of your life. Your deacon has told you not to pursue this new relationship yet & that is very good advice considering you are still in love with your husband. It will take some time but you must get over those feelings for him before giving your heart to anyone else.. It's not fair to the other person to still be IN LOVE with your ex. You may always have that feeling for him & it may honestly always make you sick to think about him with other women BUT you can't be IN LOVE with him & truly give your heart away.

I know you may not want to hear this but maybe sometime to yourself will be a good thing. You have your children & your faith to get you through this. Keep your head high & I pray you have nothing but happiness but when you are down remember God is with you & always willing to listen.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

amanda s. said:


> I know you may not want to hear this but maybe sometime to yourself will be a good thing./QUOTE]
> 
> And - you are still married until you are divorced. Loneliness is lousy - but its often a part of the process. Think of it as some quiet time to reflect / meditate / pray...


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