# Attitudes



## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Not sure if this is the right place for this....I think it is as its fairly 'neutral'!

Some of you may have read my posts; sexless marriage etc....no longer volunteer information...live like house mates etc.

Just wondering if anyone elses wife is like this and how they handle it.....

My wife is; 'I didn't do it because you didn't..blah blah' Example; my wife goes into our small local supermarket. It is run by an Indian family who are very polite, open all hours, put things aside for you if you ring them etc. 

Wife goes in, buys a load of stuff + cigarettes.
Gets home, no cigarettes. 
Either she forgot to pick them up or yes they charged her but forgot to give. Who knows.
Easy way to find out is to ring them. As I see it, you want to find out if the cigs are there or not etc.

I would have said; 'Hi, its Askari....I think I may have left three packets of cigarettes at the check out, can you check if they are there?.... Great, thanks, I'll be along in 10-15 mins'

Wife called; 'Hi, its X, you didn't give me my cigarettes yet you charged me for them.....Good, I'll be there in 15 minutes.'

I would have achieved the same goal as my wife but without putting anyones nose out of joint. Her cigarettes were there....were they given to her and she forgot or??...

I get on very well with the shop owners...if I'm a few shillings short they tell me to forget it. Its that kind of place.
However they often pass comments about my wife and her attitude....If something doesnt have a price on it (no barcodes here yet!) she demands that its free... I do the same thing but jokingly...'hey! You forgot to price this one up too! Should be free!'...laugh laugh! Point made but no hard feelings.

I'm getting more and more 'comments' from people; friends, co-workers etc about how she comes across. I have tried telling her...you want to achieve 'that'...you can either do it 'this' way with a good heart and no ill feeling, or 'this' way where you upset or offend someone. The end result is the same but isn't it better to achieve it non-confrontationally? Like giving a speeding ticket to a driver who ends up saying a very polite 'thank-you officer'! (I used to be a cop)

She says; 'I don't beat round the bush...I say it as it is'. Ummm...then thats probably why you don't have any real friends and why the guys in XY supermarket cringe whenever you go in there.....

Anyone else with a wife (or husband) like this? 

I used to make excuses etc for her....not anymore. Let her get in with it...and if she ends up flat on her face, then so be it.


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

maybe she told you she bought 3 packs of cigarettes but really pocketed the coin and put it into her escape fund.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I have a saying I use a lot.

There is a time for gentle honesty, a time for brutal honesty but never a time for dishonesty. I think your wife is stuck on brutal honesty mode (not a good thing)


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Whole cultures are like your wife and whole cultures are like you. If you're from the same culture it's probably nature's screw up 

As a European born guy I know politeness works pretty well and manipulation even better. My wife, central Asian, goes for the jugular. 

That's how people are. Switch her to Yugoslavian (*) cigarettes and hopefully she'll accelerate her departure by quite a bit.

View attachment 32361


((*) I never smoked but most of my friends did and they all said Yugo cigarettes were the worst ever)


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

askari said:


> I would have said; 'Hi, its Askari....I think I may have left three packets of cigarettes at the check out, can you check if they are there?.... Great, thanks, I'll be along in 10-15 mins'
> 
> Wife called; 'Hi, its X, you didn't give me my cigarettes yet you charged me for them.....Good, I'll be there in 15 minutes.'


It's blameshifting and narcissism, actually. She doesn't believe she could have made the mistake, so obviously the problem was someone else's fault. If you zoom out and look at the broader picture, you may find that she feels the world revolves around her in many ways, and anything that goes wrong is someone else's fault. She probably learned early on in life to blame other people for things she did wrong to avoid getting into trouble, and now it's ingrained. It's also why she'll never change her attitude, that would first require admitting that something is wrong with it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This is who your wife is. I think you need to learn to accept it and let it go.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Corner her and screw her till she can't walk. She is obviously undersexed! LOL! &#55357;&#56841;&#55357;&#56833;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;&#55357;&#56840;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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