# Here it is...Separated



## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I've been reading here for the past few weeks now, decided to throw parts of my story out there.

Well here it is, we've been together for 16 years, married for almost 11 years and have 2 kids. I have been burying my head and hoping things would get better, needless to say they haven't gotten better. He started out lying to me from the very beginning about his drug use, we had a child by the time I found out about his lies on that one. It has been non stop lying to the point that I just sat back and hoped things would be ok. I raised his 3 kids from his first marriage pretty much on my own they were a big stress in our marriage. He always said that I was so perfect for him, blah blah blah. If that was the case why weren't me and the kids important enough to him to stop with the lying, drinking, and drugs? 

He moved out last week and it has honestly been the best week since the last time we split up. The kids seem so much happier, I'm so much less stressed. 

At this point, I'm ready to be done with everything, I'm in school full time, currently, and not working because I'm in a tough program, and my kids are old enough to be home alone for a couple hours, but still need supervision. 

It's sad because, he thinks that I'm cheating and has been having me followed, the only thing that is going to prove is that I really don't leave the house or do anything. 

This is really disjointed, but I just wanted to put it out there...


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## Voltaire (Feb 5, 2013)

Goofball said:


> He moved out last week and it has honestly been the best week since the last time we split up. The kids seem so much happier, I'm so much less stressed.


Tells you everything you need to know


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

oof sounds ugly, your being followed? sounds like he needs to get some counseling for himself and u both need some marriage counseling to boot after he's had a couple solo.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You can see what your life will be like on the other side once you are through this.

Maybe he's cheating and projecting it onto you?


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

It's sad, the few times I have said out loud some of the crap that I have been through with him, I'm appalled and think how can I have been so dumb? I rarely, if ever shared with my friends the stuff I've put up with, and when I do, I feel like they are looking at me like I'm insane for having stayed and put up with it for so long.

His jealousy has always been something that I've dealt with, him projecting his guilt onto me has been in my head for quite some time, he always erases all of his text messages and phone calls. I've checked the phone usage online and there are lots of numbers I don't know, it could be that he's cheating, if so I wish I could just catch him and have a clean break from him and be done.

The kids and I are living in the house, the mortgage is in his name, but the deed is in both names. I know I have legal rights to the home, unfortunately I'm not in a position to refinance until I'm done with school.

The following thing is kind of funny in a pathetic way, I don't feel unsafe, it's just his friends/coworkers driving by my school and my house. If they want to waste their gas, I don't care, I have nothing to hide. It won't take long for them to realize it and that will end.

Right now, when he sees the kids I have him come to the house, because I feel the kids are more comfortable in their home, I either go run errands, or sit in my bedroom and work on homework. I know it's not an ideal situation, but it's what I feel is best for the kids at this time.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I got a poor me text from him yesterday, how much he misses me and the kids, how sorry he is, how he's scared of what is going to happen next, he can't work, sleep, or eat. 

I should feel sympathy for him, but I just don't, he has brought the majority of this on himself. He's been drinking nearly every night from what mutual friends tell me - this is no different than when we are together, but it really proves the point that I've been trying to get across to him, that he has a problem and unless he addresses this, things aren't going to work.

I really don't feel like things can work out, the last time we separated it was tough, the kids and I were living with my parents and that was just no good, so I think I jumped into a reconciliation because I didn't feel like I had any options. 

I think next week I will go in and file for child support, this is horrible, but he won't have nearly as much money lying around to spend on alcohol and pot.

I know the kids and I will be short on money for the next year, but I also know that we will be able to stay in the house, eat, and maybe have a little money left over to do fun cheap things until I'm done with school. I'm in a program that will always be highly marketable (nursing) so I know I can find a job when I'm through.

So is it too soon to just go ahead and file for divorce? I feel like maybe I'm jumping the gun, however, I'm so ready to just move on from him, not for another relationship just to move on with my life as a single mom and be the best mom to my kids as I possibly can.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I went and picked up the paperwork to file for child support today, they are filled out, tomorrow after classes, I will take them and get the ball rolling - if he can go out to the bar every weekend and probably during the week as well, I think the kids need some child support.

I also got the name of an attorney a friend of mine is using, that seems pretty reasonable. I will call and set up an appointment for sometime soon.

So far the major things that I want covered in the divorce - right of occupancy of the house (I want to change locks but know I can't until there is something in writing), full legal and physical custody of the kids, a morality clause (last time we separated he was dating within a month and I will not have my kids exposed to that kind of crap)...

If anyone has any suggestions for something else to add, I'm open to them  There wouldn't be much left of his income if I went for spousal support and I may be angry and sad that we just aren't important enough to him to make good choices I'm not looking to bankrupt him.


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## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

Stay stong I have a feeling there will be a lot more of the poor poor me before this is over. There is a lot of good help here and I am sure the heavy hitters are on the way. Focus on you and the kids. Keep us updated. You will make it throught this.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Who is paying the mortgage?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm paying the mortgage with student loans - not ideal, but staying in the house is what is best for the kids so I will make it work, 1 more year until I sit for my boards and start working in my field!


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

Sounds like he's an alcoholic and an addict. If so, he will never be able to be a good husband or father until he gets clean, and you cannot help him do that. It will drive you crazy, and make you have just as many problems as he does. You might want to think about Al Anon which would provide you with some moral support for codependency issues that spouses of addicts often have to deal with. The book _Codependent No More_ by Melody Beattie would be a good read too.

btw: I attend AA and have been clean for 20 years. If you stay with him you are enabling him to continue his self-destruction and making your life miserable.


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## mainsqueeze (Apr 10, 2013)

Hang in there. Stay strong. You can make it without him if you need to. If you focus if on yourself and begin to move on, this may be the thing that makes himself want to change and get help. If he doesn't well then at least you've begun to move on. Your other option is to stay in the miserable state that you're in and cross your fingers that it'll be different. Good luck!


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Thanks for the replies, I know things will be difficult for a while, I'm so fortunate to have my parents in town to help with kids, if I need an extra set of hands for driving to and from activities, they have also said they would help me out financially if I need it. I'm just super lucky to have them, they really are the best!

I got some more poor me texts yesterday, and ended up being mean but honest to him (again), he is absolutely clueless, he was justifying why he is still out drinking and whatever else he is doing to me. I am at home dealing with our daughter who has severe anxiety and depression, trying to help her cope with her stressors at school, not to mention my boy who is just as awesome as his sister, parenting him and her, and studying for finals, I started laughing at him with his excuses on why he just had to go out because he has no one to talk to and he can't stand sitting at home staring at the walls  He is seriously emotionally stunted.

I told him he needs to sign over the car I'm driving, the pickup we don't use, and the camper, because the vehicle he took is worth more than all 3 of those put together. I intend on selling the truck and camper to pay for my summer session at school. My car is old, but really low mileage and reliable so I'm ok with him having the gas hog "nicer" vehicle.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I filed for child support today, I'm sure when he gets served papers on that he will be upset since that will cut into his drinking money. I had a coffee with a friend yesterday, it was nice to get out of the house. She asked how I was doing and I said I have no anger at all towards him, just disappointed it all came crashing down. 

Finals are next week, it will be challenging finding study time since I can not study at home, I will figure something out. 

Kids stayed at his house last weekend Saturday night, I had a rough time with it, I wasn't completely comfortable with it, but tried to convince myself that if something was really wrong my daughter would contact me. I was so bored without the kids here. I need to figure out something to do with myself when they are gone.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I just realized that I have been doing the 180, not to get him back at all, just because I have no desire to see or speak with him, unless it's related to the kids. I'm frustrated this morning because I just realized he hasn't tried to contact the kids at all since they were there on Sunday. Luckily my kids are doing ok with this, I talk to them very often regarding how they are feeling about the separation. My daughter is so funny, she always wants me to go do stuff with my friends and gets after me when I would rather stay home with them  

Daughter had a sleepover last night 4 - 14 year old girls YIKES they are so loud! I'm glad she had a good time, she really needs that with her depression and anxiety issues. My son on the other hand didn't love the sleep over. It's his turn next weekend. 

I'm going out with friends next weekend after finals that should be a good time.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I may as well keep my thoughts together right here 
Texted him this morning to let him know that I wanted him to get his cellphone out of my name - I had just paid the bill and while looking at the bill noticed that he has been texting and calling other women which is fine, we are separated, it's his life to do with as he pleases. I want to not have that in front of me anymore, I need it to be gone so I don't have to feel the emotions that I'm feeling from seeing that. I took a screen shot and sent it to him because he was denying it :scratchhead: he still denies it. 

He asked if things were over if I was divorcing him, I said you promised change, it hasn't happened, it has gotten worse, I can't keep doing this anymore waiting around for the changes to happen. He still is denying that he is texting/calling. I ended the conversation by telling him to stop insulting my intelligence.

We worked out a visitation plan before the other stuff, he will see the kids every Sunday and every other Saturday overnight until Sunday. He says he will take them whenever he can - that is funny considering he doesn't attempt contact at all through the week.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

This is going to be a good week, 2 finals to go, then I start my first summer session next week for a month. Each day is bringing me closer to my end goal, of providing for my kids in a career that is rewarding.

I think I'm going out with friends Friday after our final to celebrate all of us passing our first year. I may head out of town on Saturday to visit some old friends while ex has the kids. I need to do something fun for myself.

I'm going to call and schedule an appointment with a lawyer for next week or the week after whenever I can fit it into my school schedule. I want to get the ball rolling on this deal.

Ex had the kids yesterday from 10-7, he didn't feed them dinner, so at 7:30 I had to do a McDonalds run. I was less than thrilled. I assumed that when he said he'd bring them home at 7, that included feeding them, so I didn't fix anything. I know now for next time.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I woke up to a bunch of texts from him this morning whining about stuff he wanted from the house. He has keys he has been in and out of here taking things all month. I'm going to go through the kitchen and box up stuff for him and start dividing our things today. I had already packed up the rest of his things from our bedroom a few weeks ago so now it's just a matter of dividing the other stuff.
He said he will go get the cell phones switched out of my name since I don't want to pay for his and his sons phones anymore. Hopefully my daughter and I can switch to a cheaper plan then with them off of it. I'm still waiting for him to give me the title the camper and the truck, once he does that I will sign over the vehicle he kept and I can drop insurance on a couple things. I'm calling an attorney today, I want to get the ball rolling on this deal...


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Finals are done, on to the next step!
X took kids to the circus last week, I haven't seen a dime from him for the kids, he said I don't know you need money unless you tell me - whatever. I don't care.

The rumor mill at his work is going crazy right now, apparently the rumor is he has another child in a different town (he works out of town for the week for months at a time). It wouldn't surprise me at all. I hope my child support papers hit him first.

Kids are going to there today and I'm going out of town for dinner with an old friend. I can't wait to be able to just relax and have a good time. 

This separation is so different from all the other times we split up, I just don't care what he's doing as long as it doesn't affect the kids. Hearing of another child should have sent me into a tailspin, it didn't I laughed when I heard it, I've told my family nearly everything that I've dealt with over the years which I had never done before because I didn't people to think badly of him. I think subconsciously I was doing that so I Wouldn't go back for any reason. I've even opened up to a few close friends about things so that's good.

I feel guilty about how excited I am for the kids to go see him so I can do something for myself, I really need this break, I had a little anxiety attack after my test Friday. My best friend said if you don't get out of the house and relax you are going to have a breakdown. My daughters anxiety and depression are really bad, I can't leave her alone, so the only break I have is when she is at school and even then she emails me all day. I wish there was something more I could do for her.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

glad to hear your handling this so well, but then it sounds like you have plenty of practice (

Your friend is right, have to MAKE time for yourself.....or else.

I honestly hope there isn't/wasn't another child from another town over. Might seems like a semi big deal, but wow i'd think i'd have some issues later on dealing with the lies, trust issues that far back that would be bringing up for me in possible future relationships, projection on the next poor person without their knowing.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I had a completely stress free weekend, it was great, met some new people, it was good.

I keep thinking I should have more feelings regarding my ex, I just don't at all. Maybe I won't, maybe I have dealt with so much from him in the past that nothing surprises me. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, I hope he can find someone that he feels is worth it to be happy, but if he doesn't its not my problem anymore.

I'm getting a bunch of stuff together to sell, things that we got that I thought, if we just have this we will be happy, I've come to realize that things aren't what is going to make people happy, they can make them easier but not happy. I don't need any of those things to be happy. I have my kids and my family and that's all I need.

I keep questioning whether I'm processing things in a healthy way, and at this point think I'm doing ok.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

My daughter's anxiety and depression are out of control, she has huge issues at school, and with her self esteem. I had to put her in the hospital for the week to get things on the path to being better. I have been very seriously contemplating a move for the kids and I to a town about an hour away, it's much bigger, so D would have better access to the therapy that she needs. 

The last name that we got from my ex has a huge stigma associated with it, my kids deal with it at school every day, not only from older siblings, but from cousins, and their dad and uncles. I am at the point where a clean slate for all of us may be what we need. 

My daughter tells me every single day that she wants to move away (I know this is a defense mechanism that she is using to cope with her anxiety), however the more I think about it the more I think that it is the right thing for us to do.

I can commute to school with a classmate who lives in the same town, my schedule is such that I would be home to get kids to school, and back again before they got out (just barely)

There will be a whole different set of stressors for my daughter to deal with starting a new school, but she really doesn't have any friends here that she would be leaving, there she wouldn't have teachers comparing her to her older siblings and cousins. 

I have called a lawyer to get the divorce moving, waiting for a call back, I wish I could just email back and forth I hate waiting for phone calls


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## HopelessArray (Jan 6, 2012)

Good for your GB, it sounds like you are really taking this in stride and keeping your focus on your kids and school. One thing I love about being a nurse is the job outlook. My husband surprised me with divorce papers 2 weeks ago, and I started applying at my local hospitals 1 week ago. I had 3 calls for interviews and I accepted a full time position today. Keep your head up, all this hard work will pay off!!!


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Thanks, I sound like I have it all together, but I'm a giant ball of stress and anxiety. My coping is to make a plan  I'm so thankful that I'm in school and that I will be able to find a job when I'm finished. The job prospects in this other town are much better as well. There are more large facilities to apply at, where here, there is one, so there is a huge possibility of a commute when I'm finished with school so I guess a commute while in school isn't so bad at least there will be an end game. 1 more year, I may start counting the months to graduation soon!

On the bright side, I'm doing my psych nursing class now, I should have this one aced with all my experience 

I went for a run last night and this morning, I'm going to start using that as a stress reliever, or I'm going to crash and burn really soon!

We had a family therapy meeting earlier this week and my ex kept stating well she doesn't have these behaviors with me, she never acts like this with me etc...I could have screamed! Thankfully the psychologist saw through it and asked him, just how much time do you spend with her and how often do you talk to her? I almost laughed - 4 days I think is the almost 2 month total of time spent...

I need this divorce to be over, I need out of this house, and my kids and I need out of this town, we just need to start over and get to a state of almost normalcy.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Finally got an appointment with a lawyer for next week, I gathered all the info he requested I bring in less than 30 minutes - I'm either organized or extra motivated! I can not wait to have papers drawn up and get this over and done with. I feel like I'm living in limbo and I don't like that feeling, I have enough limbo in dealing with my daughter right now.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

I was just wondering GB, what if you found out tomorrow that he'd checked himself into an alcohol rehab unit, and started making the changes you wanted? Is it too late?

I don't mean to put thoughts in your head, or question your resolve here, really. Just wanted to know if your committed to ending it, or still a chance that things can be turned around still if your issues were finally being addressed.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

For me it's too late, I still have hope that he will do just that in order to be a parent to his children. 
I am stressed,but I have school and a child with mental health issues that I'm trying to help her in the best possible way, I've been on my own dealing with all of it since the beginning of the school year when things started spiraling for her. 

At this point, I have no anger for him, I have disappointment and frustration in the ways he has chosen to not deal with life. I love the person I thought he was, and the person I thought he could be. I don't have love for the person he ended up being.

I actually enjoy the fact that the feelings I have whether they are stress, anxiety, anger, or happiness are my feelings not a reflection of his attitude. I know that they are just my feelings it's refreshing to know the things I'm feeling are my own.


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## HopelessArray (Jan 6, 2012)

Oh GB, I can't wait to feel no anger towards my spouse. To know that my feelings are my own and not a reflection of this current situation. Congratulations.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

HopelessArray said:


> Oh GB, I can't wait to feel no anger towards my spouse. To know that my feelings are my own and not a reflection of this current situation. Congratulations.


It was a long time coming, we have had a back and forth marriage/relationship pretty much the whole 16 years. I should have known at our wedding reception when he got completely wasted and started screaming at me so much that the police were called :scratchhead:
I'm an idiot for staying as long as I did.


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## HopelessArray (Jan 6, 2012)

And we had a story book wedding, not super fancy or anything but a true celebration of our love. Gosh how dumb we were back then!


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I texted my H to tell him I have an appt with a lawyer today to find out if he's going to fight me, so I would know how much is is going to cost me. He said he won't fight that he doesn't have anything else to fight for. I also told him the kids and I are moving out of the house in August, he's mad that he's going to be "stuck" with the house. I told him he can live here or sell it, it's his choice. My name isn't on the mortgage so it's all his call.

It would be almost too good to be true if he didn't fight me, and just signed the papers, I'm not asking for anything crazy, the most is that I will not compromise on sole custody of the kids.

He asked where we are moving, and I told him seriously considering moving out of town, gave my reasons and he didn't reply.

Hope this lawyer is quick with the papers.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

The last few days have been rough emotionally, a few good things happen and then something relatively minor will have me in tears. Next weekend will be fun, my allergies won't be kicking my butt and I'm going out of town to stay with friends have fun and get out of the house.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with lots of things, my daughter told me she knows her dad does drugs, which was something I was hoping to shelter her from. I told her I don't want that to change how she feels about him. 

I'm much more confident in my decision to take the kids and move, I will have a year of commuting to school as opposed to 4 years of commuting to keep my daughter in the same school throughout high school. Kids and I are going there as soon as we are all out of school, spend the day exploring, checking out the things to do. The unknown is scary for kids, so if I keep exposing them the next few months it won't be as big of an unknown to them.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Met with a lawyer today, he has already drafted things and emailed them for my review, we will wait to file until the order of child support has been entered with the state so things look cleaner. If all goes well this could be over by August 1st!


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Yesterday while trying to be superwoman I threw out my back, this stinks! Ex is supposed to take kids this weekend, he is whining about not having any money. It was a good thing we were discussing things through text or he would have heard me laughing at him. He has given me exactly $200 since we split. Ya I don't have any money either jerk, somehow I manage to make things work. Of course I don't sit in the bar every day either. I'm hoping my back loosens up, I'm supposed to go stay with friends this weekend and have a good time. I need a little "me" time. My friend and I lost touch when she moved mostly because my ex didn't like her so it will be great to catch up with her and her family.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I see why they call it a roller coaster  last week was great I was out of town with my BFF for school and so I always had someone to talk to. My biggest problem is I get so lonely I hate that. 
I'm hoping the camper sells this week and the child support order goes through when those 2 things happen he's getting served. 

I have no desire to get back together with him, I'm over that completely, I need to reach out to my friends so I'm not sitting home all the time. That's when things get bad for me.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Well a little non update. He chose to fight the child support order, he either lied about my income or there was an error inputting the numbers, the papers show that I have $3000 monthly income. I didn't make that much when I was working in accounting full time, I have $0 income right now. I live off of student loans. I tried calling the child support person, but naturally they were out of the office today. I know this is easily straightened out, however it just adds more time to this whole thing. The order should have been in place on the 27th, now I have 10 days to dispute it, so another 2 weeks after that to send a letter to us, then if he disputes it again another wait.

He is digging himself a hole, he will be so far behind by the time this is all straightened out its ridiculous.

So much for my August 1st divorce. I'm such an optimist sometimes and then it kicks me in the face.

I was pretty handy around the house though this weekend. I replaced the water pump in the camper (I even changed all the fittings and rewired it) because the pump wasn't the same as the original. I was pretty proud of myself. Went to mow the jungle of a yard I had going on since I didn't mow for a week and neither one of the mowers would start. I changed the spark plugs in both and they both started  Thank goodness it was just spark plugs, after adding gas, and checking oil that's the extent on my mechanical abilities.

My boy child is going camping with my parents out of state to spray the land for weeds, so my daughter and I are going camping near the town we are moving to, I'm excited for a girls weekend! I figured out how to strap the kayak to the roof of my car, it will be a good weekend! I wish the boy was coming with so I could show him all the cool things there are to do around the town, he is not thrilled about moving, but he has a fear of the unknown.

I started reaching out to friends that I haven't talked to and that's been really good. It stinks though how everything can be just awesome and then one little thing happens and it's such a hit in the face that it ruins the rest of your day. Walking really helps me get past my stress for a little while anyway.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Oh and another thought, the last time he had the kids (May 25th) daughter called me at 2:30am to pick her up because she said he was really drunk, still drinking and had a girl in his room. I was irate that he couldn't hold it together for one stinking night to be with his kids. He hasn't made any attempt to see them since then now either. He should have had them last Sunday afternoon, but didn't call and I didn't bother trying to get him to show up.

It's supposed to be his weekend, but D14 doesn't want to go there and the boy won't be home and he knows this and ok'd the trip out of state for the boy. The 3 times that he has had them over night, I have gone out with friends because I should be able to have a night out, he should be able to be responsible enough to take care of them. Since he chooses not to be, he doesn't need them overnight until things change. Maybe he will see them on Father's Day.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I got the child support paperwork straightened out today so the updated papers will be mailed out today or tomorrow then wait 10 days to see if he fights those. If not then I have a little forward progress. 

I talked to an apartment manager in the town we want to move to, she's pretty confident that an apt will open up for August 1st. I have my fingers crossed!


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Well I'm not sure what set him off today, but he started texting me about him getting a lawyer before I sell everything that we should be splitting. I have the camper and the pickup (both of which my dad paid for) listed. It was at least an hour of back and forth him being a jerk about stuff. I finally said the papers are more than fair to you. He gets the house, the vehicle he has, and isn't responsible for any of my student loan debt. I get the kids, the car, and all my debt. I said I could get alimony, half your retirement, and equity from the house. Hopefully he realizes I'm not out to pull something, I just want it to be over. 10 more days until the child support order is in place.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Today was a rough day. I called about 30 different apartment managers trying to find somewhere/anywhere to live. I'm no longer picky about where we live, I just know that it needs to be in the other city or suburb. I can't imagine what people who like me have had their credit ruined, no income, with kids do this. There are 3 buildings that are sliding scale for income all of them have 9-12 month waiting lists. I won't need that in that time period. I'm more fortunate than others, in that my parents will help us get through this last year of school so that I can get a job and we will be ok then. What about those people who don't have a family that is supportive and able to help, when there are no resources to help? 

I ended up sitting behind the garage (hiding) being a crying mess for a good hour. All of this is so stressful. I'm trying to find somewhere where the kids will be happy, where I will be able to figure out someone to help with getting them to school and picked up from school since I will be leaving before they start school to get to other town for school. It would be so much easier, if there was a place open and we could get in earlier to give us all a chance to meet people and build up a bit of a support system.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I found out a few things the last couple of days that should hurt me so much more than what they do. When we separated 5 years ago, he was seeing someone during that time, I stupidly went back to him at that point. He always told me nothing ever happened, I found out a much different version, that I believe is closer to the truth. I'm hurt that I was lied to yet again, but I just keep thinking why did I fight for him back then? Why didn't I just let him go?

He started texting me again last night being a complete az*, I tried very hard not to engage, unfortunately my temper got the best of me and I responded a few times. He is convinced that I was seeing someone while we were still married, kept telling me congrats on my new man ?? I simply said I don't need someone else in my life in order to move on from this marriage.

He is blaming me for absolutely everything, going on facebook saying that he isn't going to roll over and lose everything, that he is going to fight me every step of the way. I woke up to all these texts from him telling me how much he loves me and blah blah blah (I finally turned my phone off, I couldn't deal with him anymore) I'm beyond frustrated with him, why can't he just leave me alone? I'm frustrated with myself, I've had the papers drawn up for almost a month, but I'm still waiting for the child support order to be in place before he is served. Our anniversary is this Friday - I'm a little bummed, I never thought I would be here.

I don't want to be married to him and this is something that I know down to my soul, I'm just not too excited about being a full time student, single mother to 2 kids. I'm not loving my life right now. 

I'm living in limbo right now and it's really messing with me. I don't know if we will have an apartment to move into in August, I can't register my kids for school until I have an address, can't serve him the papers until the child support order is in place, need to sell the camper. I don't know from one day to the next how much of a fight I'm going to deal with during this divorce.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Small update - child support order is in place so I emailed my lawyer to have him file the papers. I have been so full of anxiety the last few days. Im so thankful to my friend who is also going Through a divorce, having someone to be around who gets it is so great.

It all depends on what kind of mood and mind frame he is in when he is served on how that is going to go.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

Huge update! I served him the papers yesterday, he signed the admission of service. Then today he signed the stipulation agreement and have it to me. I got my signature notarized and mailed all the papers to my lawyer. 60 days from yesterday and my divorce will be final  I had found out he is seeing the same girl he was seeing when we separated 5 years ago (whether it had ever ended or not) that's not important to me so it was all in the timing. I no longer have to try to appease him at every turn. 

I feel 200 pounds lighter!! I had no idea how much the idea that he might not sign had been stressing me.


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## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

We moved into a great apartment and things are going well! 2 more days and everything is final. I went and got a couple tattoos today and feel pretty good about things.


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