# Sigh. Can never win. Sigh.



## Lost in Corn (Feb 3, 2008)

Hello. I guess I'm looking for a little advice. 

My spouse and I have been together for approximately four years. In that time, we have had some serious ups and downs. The first year of our marriage was not pleasant at all, and cumulated with some mutual physical violence. Though we were not forced to per se, we were strong enough to realize that if we were going to make it, we needed to go to counseling.

So we went, separate at first, and then together; and for the most part, things worked themselves out for the past year. We had our bumps like every marriage did, but we were good pretty awesome. I honestly felt like we had grown up emotionally. 

Well, the other day, my spouse had a medical issue per-se, nothing major. I took a couple hours off of work to go with him/her (I figured that's being supportive, no?) On the way out of the doctor's office, my spouse decides to tell me for some reason that s/he had sexual partners prior to our relationship. I'm fine with that, I knew - no biggie. My spouse then proceeds to tell me that after s/he left her/his last relationship, s/he was tested for STDs. S/he was told they possibly had one. Instead of doing anything about it; s/he ignored it, decided s/he didn't have one, and swept it under the rug. 

I surprisingly took it well that day; perhaps due to all the counseling I've been through. 

Things are now very tense in our relationship; there is no intimacy; there is no trust. S/he won't tell me what it is. I haven't gone to get tested yet, but will likely do so. My spouse won't go back to counseling with me; in part from embarrassment, and mostly from stubbornness. 

Whatever am I to do? Sigh!

On one hand, I know we've been through a lot and it'd feel like a "waste" to throw that all away. On the other, I feel like I need to bring holy war against my partner for doing this to me.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

I/me can't figure out why you/they would have to spell/illiterate things like you/they are but hey/so whatever.

I don't know of very many STDs that are dormant for four years or better, other than HIV. If you/they have a "common" STD my guess would be it's from a recent copulation with someone other than you.

If you/they are to make it, then s/he needs to come clean about what has/did happen and with whom and when.

Preacher/Me


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## Jessica2009 (Aug 8, 2009)

I/me agree with the preacher man! (I assume you are trying to stay anonymous with the gender neutral terms - it's just a bit hard to read. We get the gist though, and I understand.)

Go get tested for any STD's.. and ASAP! Your health is the most important consideration at this point.


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## Lost in Corn (Feb 3, 2008)

Jessica2009 said:


> I/me agree with the preacher man! (I assume you are trying to stay anonymous with the gender neutral terms - it's just a bit hard to read. We get the gist though, and I understand.)
> 
> Go get tested for any STD's.. and ASAP! Your health is the most important consideration at this point.


Merci!


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