# If your spouse suggested cell phone GPS tracking



## Henry66 (Dec 24, 2015)

Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate in you answer if you are a man or a woman.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Henry66 said:


> Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate in you answer if you are a man or a woman.


A Man.

Like I care if she tracks me, nothing to hide. Like searching for porn on most women's computers...it's just not there.

Just like she could ask me and I have no reservation, nor reason to lie about my whereabouts - I would be impressed in fact, if she asked, as that would actually show interest in my life for once.... (even if it was for her own jealous/insecure reasons)


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## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

I wouldn't mind and neither would my husband. 

however; it's too naïve to actually think cheaters won't get around this. I can already think of numerous ways I could get around that if I wanted too and my husband. He works at a hospital, all he has to do is say he was in a surgery and all the while his phone is in a locker while he is actually out and about roaming around  
so ya, fine, no problems doing it. but good look actually catching stuff.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I'm a woman and I have no problems with it. We already have each other on Find My Friends on our phones, along with our two older kids. It's not alway exact though. For example, I know my son is at work but it will say he's two blocks away.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Since I have nothing to hide, I would be ok with it. I believe in complete transparency.

However if my husband were to use it as the basis of constantly asking me to verify that I was not lying, it would end pretty quickly. There has to be a balance in thrust levels.

I have no doubt that someone who wanted to hide what they were doing could come up with a way to fiddle with the tracking.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Henry66 said:


> Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate in you answer if you are a man or a woman.


My wife and I (I'm a dude) both have location tracking enabled on our cell phones and have "friended" each other within Apple's "Find My Friends" app in order to simply things. I have nothing to hide, so I'm not at all concerned w/ respect to her looking into my whereabouts from time to time. In fact, I've even showed her how to do it so that I don't have to answer things like "Are you leaving soon?" or "Have you left yet?" while I'm driving.

Are you asking this question for purely rhetorical purposes or do you have a much more specific reason for asking?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Since I have nothing to hide, I would be ok with it. I believe in complete transparency.
> 
> However if my husband were to use it as the basis of constantly asking me to verify that I was not lying, it would end pretty quickly. There has to be a balance in thrust levels.
> 
> *I have no doubt that someone who wanted to hide what they were doing could come up with a way to fiddle with the tracking.*


There are plenty of ways to do this, at least where Apple devices are concerned.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

It's just a matter of convenience unless you've got something to hide. If it's helpful in everyday matters, then great. If you're only wanting to keep an eye on your partner so they won't cheat, I don't see a point in the relationship even continuing; it's already a lost cause.


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Since I have nothing to hide, I would be ok with it. I believe in complete transparency.
> 
> However if my husband were to use it as the basis of constantly asking me to verify that I was not lying, it would end pretty quickly. *There has to be a balance in thrust levels.*
> 
> I have no doubt that someone who wanted to hide what they were doing could come up with a way to fiddle with the tracking.


Great Freudian slip. My dirty mind wonders which position requires a balance of *thrust* levels.


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

I wouldn't mind, especially given both of us carried it. 

Being frequently asked to send a photo of my location though would erode trust. I would probably suggest a 'cost' for this (perhaps something to do with thrust levels).


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I have nothing to hide but think it is an awful idea. My partner is all over town with work, damned if I'm going to get all paranoid just because he is all over the place. And the thought of being tracked is just plain creepy. Not for us, it sounds like a awful way to live.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

Man here. I wouldn't really see the point I guess. If a person wants to go some place that they are not supposed to, they're going to cover their tracks so long as they know how, or if they know that they are being tracked. I wouldn't mind sharing gps data but I almost always let DW know where I am going anyways. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

I'm a woman. I would probably agree to this, but it would cause serious doubts about my relationship.

Trust is very important to me. My partner demonstrating that he didn't trust me (without a solid reason for it) would make me question why I was involved with him. Every time he asked me for a photo to prove I was behaving, I would probably get pissed. If he feels I need to be baby-sat to keep me from falling onto another man's naughty bits, why is he even with me?

If the app was just there, just in case, it might not be a big deal. I live in a rural area and some couples use them for safety. If you live way out of town and your partner is very late coming home, a GPS locator can reassure you that they're safe. I wouldn't have a problem with that type of usage. But a lot of checking up and sending photos would definitely be an issue for me.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I'd be fine with it, but like NSQ said, I would wonder why it was suggested.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I'm a woman and would have zero objections to it. I have nothing to hide. My BF would think, damn she's boring!


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

Male. I have no problem. We both have Find Iphone on our phones. We can easily locate the other. Often my wife can't hear or doesn't respond to a text or call when she is at something with the kids - dance and gymnastics can be noisy. Sometimes I may stop by and may forget what event they are in...between all of their activities, it is quite easy to get the days/times mixed up. I will just hit the find phone and then stop by to watch the activity the kids are in. She has free access to check me as well. There is no issue with it.

There is nothing to hide on either end, so it is just a matter of convenience.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I would say no. "trust but verify" really isn't trust, and trust is important to me.

Besides, I don't want to get into a technological spy vs. spy war with my spouse.

What happens if the cell battery runs out - do you assume they were cheating?


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Would not bother me at all, I have nothing to hide.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

I have nothing to hide and my wife would love it if I knew all her whereabouts. But privacy is sacred. Not the government, nor your spouse or anyone should be allowed to spy on you.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Duguesclin said:


> I have nothing to hide and my wife would love it if I knew all her whereabouts. But privacy is sacred. Not the government, nor your spouse or anyone should be allowed to spy on you.


I'm pretty sure that the government already does know all about where you are if you carry a cell phone that has GPS capabilities.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

technovelist said:


> I'm pretty sure that the government already does know all about where you are if you carry a cell phone that has GPS capabilities.


Like they know when the next mass shooting is going to happen.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Duguesclin said:


> Like they know when the next mass shooting is going to happen.


The best case is that it is because they spend so much of their time spying on the very large proportion of the population that is *non-criminal* and *non-terrorist* that they don't have enough resources to figure out when the next mass shooting is going to happen.

The worst case is that they want another mass shooting to happen so they can scream "gun control" even louder.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I LOVE the idea for *safety *primary.... if there was such a feature to use...we'd both be ALL FOR IT... My husband mentioned this guy at work who had some app for this... he knows where all of his family members are at any given time.. 

We both thought that was GREAT [email protected]#

Right now...our family only has 1 cell...(we share it)... it's a tracfone...we only get the net when there is Wi-fi, unless we turn on our data (nice feature if we need it).... but if we ever get real phones with all these bells & whistles.... this is a no brainer ...if the app is free.. for sure! 

There is nothing to hide ... my husband looks at some porn (very tame) while we're in the same room together .. we're terribly open about everything in our lives.. ..where we go , who we run into , what we talked about.. ..I give him the whole spill.. it's entertaining....the day I stop being like this .... is when he would be worried.. He also shares with me anything juicy ....that's all the FUN.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

lucy999 said:


> *I'm a woman and would have zero objections to it. I have nothing to hide. My BF would think, damn she's boring*!


 The boring comment... would he ? Why do some take a willing sharing of our lives as boring...I guess some see it as "too giving".. they want some cat & mouse...I don't know.

I've noticed other posters who feel this way.... it's like they feel _*some secrecy enhances the Mystery.*_.. _*the appeal *_... I just think >> different strokes for different folks.. 

I've always been more attracted to those who are naturally open, engaging.. no subject off limits...over the mysterious type.... I guess it's all in what is most important to a person...

I see it completely backwards.. if myself & husband weren't the way we are... we'd be boring ! He wouldn't come home & share his day...many laughs after work... I wouldn't bring up scenarios here... maybe we'd only talk about the kids..

I just feel there are plenty of ways to keep a relationship FUN & ADVENTUROUS...turning on this safety app (again , that's more how I see it)...it wouldn't take anything away ....doesn't even mean we'd look at it... but if there's an emergency.. or one of us was late.. it sure would come in handy!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Hubby and I both have the 'Find my Friends' app on our phones, we can see each other and my mum. Hubby set it up to notify him when I've arrived to pick him up from work...he gets an alert and heads on down to the car  We don't use it to spy on each other, sometimes we use it at home mucking around and he'll say "Oh look! You're on top of me!" hehehe.

I asked him to use Find my iPhone for my phone on his computer last year...I was doing an interstate drive alone, at night and wanted someone to know exactly where I was...it was comforting for me.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Totally in two minds about this question.
On one hand I feel I would agree only because I have nothing to hide and already my DH can look at my mobile (non pass code protection) log into my facebook or email accounts, we have total transparency with each other.
On the other hand I'd feel strange about the sudden request because in our situation I am a stay at home mum and literally go to the shops MAYBE once a week. Why the need to track me?? We trust one another so I don't see WHY either of us would need to track each other if not to check up that he/i are where we say we are. Odd.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The boring comment... would he ?


LOL he would. Trust me. It'd be like this: 5:30 a.m.-jazzercise. 9:00 a.m. work. 4:00 p.m. home. Oh and going to Sam's club in between. :grin2: In all seriousness, we're both an open book with each other. Thank goodness! I wouldn't want it any other way.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I'm a woman. And I honestly feel that if my relationship is at the point where we need to GPS track one another as some kind of insurance policy to keep each other from cheating, I think it's time to honestly question the strength of that relationship. Because clearly, my spouse doesn't trust me by to suggesting this, and that would be for me at least, seriously damaging to our relationship. 

Also, having been in an abusive relationship in the past, I can see how this kind of thing could go downhill really fast. "I saw you took 45 minutes to drive between A and B, Google tells me traffic isn't going that slowly, and it should have taken you only 24 minutes. What were you doing for that extra 21 minutes?" No, thank you. I've lived with being accused of cheating every time I went to work or school or shopping. (I wasn't, my ex had serious issues.) So, that's majorly triggering for me, personally. 

Also, these programs require having your GPS on all the time. Which totally kills your phone's battery (at least it does on mine) which purely from a functional standpoint, I don't know how useful that would be for either party if my phone dies by noon anyway.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I would like to do this with my H but he will not go for it. It also is entirely dependent upon having your GPS location settings turned ON and he never does that (says it drains battery too fast).

My only reason for desiring it is that we both have very long commutes to and from work, where accidents happen every day at the time of our commute. When I try to call him to see if it's HIM in one of the accidents he does not answer his phone. It would be nice to be able to check his location to avoid the call and the mystery. 

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


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## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

Henry66 said:


> Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate in you answer if you are a man or a woman.


Female here. I don't care - we have Find my Friends enabled on our phones. Now if one of us recommended this under these reasons that you listed above that would be a definite NO. It's a sign of mistrust and there would be much deeper issues in the marriage. If he asked for a PICTURE to prove where I am? Oh boy........


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Female. 

I could care less. If it makes him feel better, go for it. I have nothing to hide.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

I wouldn't mind. He would find out that I am always where I say I am. I would probably rarely if ever check on him, because I either trust him or I don't at this point.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

No thank you. My parents are now married over 40 years without any tracking devices.


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

Female. Widow. I wouldn't have a problem with it unless my battery was running low and I wanted to turn some things off until I could charge it.

My husband had his own form of "GPS Tracking" when he gave me my first cell phone. "Where are you and what are you doing there?" That particular phone was back in the dark ages when it was bolted to the floor of the car, so if I answered he could assume I was somewhere between point A and point B.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Quite some time ago, My boss informed me that he could now track our locations with the newly issued phones. When I asked what's up with that, he answered, "You never know what you'll find under a rock." Wondering how he thought work got done, I quipped, "Gee, you might actually find us at work." 

Whether workplace or home, if it's for trust issues it may answer some questions, but being a warden isn't going to get trust back.

DW and I use Life360. We travel a lot and each of us has activities that keep us out at night. We just feel safer keeping track. It's not a big deal, that's how trusting relationships work. YMMV


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If DH wanted to use GPS, I wouldn't care. We subscribe to the idea of marriage being a giving and receiving of each others complete selves, two becoming one, so we don't really believe in the idea of privacy between spouses.


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Henry66 said:


> Trust is an important aspect of a conjugal relationship. But the sad reality is that affairs happen every day. Even the partner whom you felt you could really trust sometimes can be deceiving and have an affair. The are many reasons that can motivate people to have affairs, which are beyond the scope of this post. But one factor that can make a difference in someone's decision to jump the fence is the belief that he or she will not get caught. Thus my question: How would you react if your spouse suggested that both of you voluntarily install a gps tracking software on your cell phones? You would both be able to track each other's location at all times during the day. In case of doubt, you could simply call to make sure your spouse did not leave the cell phone behind and ask what he/she is doing. If doubt persist you could ask your spouse to send you a picture showing where they are. Of course it's no guarantee that an affair could not happen anyway, but the idea is to reduce the risk. How would you react to such a proposition? Please also indicate in you answer if you are a man or a woman.


Considering you specifically brought up infidelity, I am assuming there was infidelity in your relationship. Also the fact that you appear to believe there are "reasons" that motivate one to cheat, I'm assuming you weren't the BS, as very infrequently do they believe there are mitigating factors contributing to being cheated on. So if you're a WS, wondering how to handle your spouse asking to install GPS on "both" your phones, I'll say suck it up as consequences to your infidelity.

Please remember, those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. 

PS, the only true motivating factor to cheating is selfishness.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

False security. Plenty of ways to leave it behind and be in "cell phone dead zones."


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

For 21 years I have always been where I said I was or was going. There is no reason to track my phone but it it makes my W feel better about it then have at it. I could care any less.


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