# Is it time to throw the towel in?



## howdoyouknow? (Feb 2, 2012)

I have just celebrated my 10 year wedding anniversary last month but been with my husband for 13 years. We have 3 beautiful boys 12, 4 and 14 months. I know we have had our ups and downs but my husband keeps threatening me everytime we argue or I stand up to him in regards to my opinion about something that he is going to leave. I love him but I can't take much more of these games I think he is playing. He has just turned 38 and I am just 33. I know we are still young but I never imagined myself with anyone else. I am an emotional wreck at the moemnt and feel sick all the time. About 6 months ago he started having what we both agree was a midlife crisis. I stuck through this with him, even when he said our marriage was over unles I had a threesome, I didn't mind you. I am not into that. So I have stuck by him through financially tough times, emotionally tough times and 3 beautiful healthy kids later and he is now starting again on this whole we shouldn't be together thing as I call it. It all started b/c I went away with my folks and our kids for 11 days and when we got back he came home for 45 mins and then left to go to a tattoo appointment. It wasn't even to get the tattoo done!!! Just to discuss it. I was very upset by it all and he told me I was a sook and to get over it. I cried on and off for 2 days b/c of his attitude about it. He STILL says he won't apologise cos he did nothing wrong. Obviously I pissed him off which has set him off again. I guess what I want to know is, when do you know when enough is enough? Have I over reatted about the whole coming home and leaving after 45 mins after not seeing us for 11 days? Should I just walk away now instead of having years ahead of me being threatened with him leaving? Any advice would be appreciated.


----------



## howdoyouknow? (Feb 2, 2012)

Thanks Dean for your response but in regards to going away for 11 days, my parents went on holidays and offered me free accommodation and my husband said I should go and take the kids b/c our eldest was about to start high school and holidays aren't so easy anymore for us cos we take them during the school year, not holidays but now my son won't be able to miss school. He would have come but work said no. In regards to him being a good dad, he is however he could certainly be more hands on. 

Yesterday he pretty much told me it was over cos we haven't been very intimate lately and I got very mad. He is going through something and at the moment his body is his number one concern. He does look fantastic but he takes a lot of supplements (all natural) and some of them effect your sex drive and he told me that is was hard for him to get it up. I thought I was doing the right thing in not trying to get any cos I am sure men feel very inadequate if they can't get it up so I thought I would wait for him to come to me. Clearly being supportive of his goals has back fired. I am happy to spice things up in the bedroom, just not with anyone else. He mentioned it again last night and asked if I trusted him. I do trust him but having the best sex of my life does not need to involve anyone else!! The idea makes me feel violently ill!!! He said yesterday he would give us 2 weeks. I told him things can't improve that much in 2 weeks but this morning I was thinking and I am starting to get very mad now about his whole attitude and I am sure there is someone else out there who would appreciate and love me. Oh and treat me with respect and not try to control me or get me to do things I don't want to do. I am angry b/c in his past before I knew him he has had many threesomes and I told him before marriage if that is what you want then I am not the right person. He told me he was ok with it and we got married. He now says he can't help thinking about it cos he is getting older!!! I am just so lost as to what to do. I love him so much but I will NEVER have a threesome. I am scared to be on my own. I have been with my husband since I was 19. It is just so scary the thought of it. Having 3 kids doesn't help either., Although I wouldn't stay with him for the kids sake cos that never works. I want to be with him, just him.

What would you do??????


----------

