# Desperate to get him to work



## Arya (May 17, 2011)

22 years of marriage. I have worked as a successful professional all these years. My husband barely worked for a few years here and there. Now says he is done! Claims that he has paid his dues. All these years I did not make this an issue as the marriage is good, but he borrowed a lot of money in my name and now I am drowning in debt. He claims that he wiill pay off the debts but makes no effort to get a job. (paid his dues, apparently) . The rest of the marriage is still good at times as long as we do not discuss his work or money and as long as I give him most of my income (to pay bills). I wish there was a way to salvage the marriage. I do not mind financial hardship as long as he would work sincerely. How do I get him to WORK? Help!:


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Why are you giving him most of your income when he isn't working anyway? You need some lessons in how to set boundaries for sure.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

1. Take over the bill paying and debt reduction. Get your hands on a copy of Total Money Makeover.

2. He does not work. He does not get money for frivolity or entertainment. There is absolutely no reason you should bust your hump for him to sit on his.

3. Get into MC like yesterday.

Good luck!


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## VLR (May 15, 2011)

Open a checking account in your name only.
Pay what you need to maintain your own needs within the house etc. Do not give him one cent for anything! Let him live off his dues. If 
Tell him this is the deal. 
Go into personal counseling, not marital counseling. You need personal counseling to find out why you think the "marriage is good, otherwise." If he wants marital counseling, tell him to get a job so he can pay for it!
Don't give him gas money to even look for a job, because he is so full of it. Tell him to figure it out.

If you can't do this, go to personal counseling at least and see what the counselor says. I think we are saving you the expense of at least one session with our advise.

Tell him even when he does get a job, it will be for him to pay off the debts he ran up and he is not to tell you how to budget. It will be for him to start paying mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc and then when you are out of debt and he has a track record as a provider there may be some room to discuss future joint financial decisions where he may have the amount of say that reflects the amount of money his is contributing to the decision.

Don't wait until tomorrow. Do this today, please!


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

...and please, have a nice long talk with my wife who had an affair because I was always at work providing for her to stay at home and didn't have enough time for her :lol::rofl:


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Funny how it is a point for complaint when it is a man staying home.....

Just saying.


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