# 2nd Chance



## 38m3kids (Sep 29, 2011)

Looking for stories of those who screwed up, and wish they would have had a second chance at saving their marriage. As victims/survivors, sometimes we really want to give our spouses a second chance, but the pain and trauma from infidelity makes it damn near impossible. Does the phrase "please forgive me" really mean anything? I'm rambling i guess. :scratchhead:


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## jtut21 (Mar 21, 2012)

I don't have an experience like you are asking for but I would like to add my thoughts. Infidelity is certainly one of the most difficult challenges a person can face and I can't imagine what you may have been dealing with. I would like to offer the idea that people really do make mistakes and wish to take it all back. You have every right to feel guarded when the person that has hurt you asks for forgiveness. However, if you think there may be a slight chance of sincerity than perhaps you should consider taking things extremely slow with as much time as you need to work through the process of forgiving them. Talk to them and set some ground rules for them to obtain your forgiveness. This method should bring to light their true motives. Be cautious of setting to strict of guidelines for them to follow but also make them work for the forgiveness.


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## desperateguy (Mar 8, 2012)

I really like this approach to apology:
Clean Slate Method

It's badly written, but the methodology is good.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Based on your username, I think you gotta at least entertain the notion. I've read on here about all the steps someone must take to show that they are really sorry and if your x is willing and you love her, I say do it. 

I honestly believe I could get past it if my stbxw came back. If you really love her and she proves she knows what an enormous mistake it was that she made then I just think you have to give it a shot.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm not even sure my H had a physical affair but I wouldn't have him back now
it's the ultimate betrayal and I would never be able to trust them again - love them or not, I love myself more...


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

I believe in second chance. I believe it years before my wife cheated. I screwed up many times before, not cheating, but something else. I always wanted a second chance. 

But just "Please forgive me" is not enough. She'll have to convince me that she deserves a second chance.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I had an affair for approx 6 months on my spouse and was in mc during the last part of the affair during mc i finally got honest or came clean my wife had a ons with a former bf in response to finding out i was cheating we both knew we wanted to be together at this point we had been married for 10 yrs we continued on with MC and after about 6 months our counselor released us as we had worked thru everything we needed to and addressed areas that i had issues with and areas that she had issues with in June we will celebrate 13 yrs of marriage our marriage is better today than ever in my opinion she would agree all of our friends comment on how happy we are even after 13 yrs of marriage so we both gave each other a second chance


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