# Should I tell her I always loved her?



## AnotherEarthling (Oct 31, 2011)

I am married. An old close friend of the opposite sex is friends with me on Facebook. I suggested she become friends with my wife on FB too. We were always platonic friends. I have not hung out with her in about 15 years. However, I always secretly loved her although I have denied this fact for 25 years. She was married when we became friends. She is divorced today but has a boyfriend. She never met my wife. I knew her way before my wife came into the picture. Something in me tells me I should finally tell her I have always loved her. I want to email her on FB and say I love her more than any other man ever did. Then I want to block her from my account and just pray she doesn't email me. lol I know this is stupid. But I want her to know I have always loved her!! PLEASE TALK ME OUT OF THIS! 
I wrote her a love letter many years ago and was going to mail it to her. But I never did.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

This is simple. Don't do it and delete her from FB. You are playing with fire.

Of course you won't listen (most likely)...you'll tell her and ruin everything.

Your choice.


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## AnotherEarthling (Oct 31, 2011)

that_girl said:


> This is simple. Don't do it and delete her from FB. You are playing with fire.
> 
> Of course you won't listen (most likely)...you'll tell her and ruin everything.
> 
> Your choice.


Thanks. I don't want to ruin anything. She used to be my best friend. I do want her to know I have always loved her. But that would be stupid.


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## misticli (Oct 28, 2011)

Sounds like the "green is greener on the other side of the fence" type of issue. You cannot love someone who you really do not know anymore. Its disrespectful both to your wife and her boyfriend to consider telling her that. Don't


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

AnotherEarthling said:


> Thanks. I don't want to ruin anything. She used to be my best friend. I do want her to know I have always loved her. But that would be stupid.


"Used to" being the key words.

And I didn't mean you'd ruin things with her...who cares about that. I meant ruin things with your wife.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Tell your wife what you are planning on doing ask her what she thinks. If you can't do that then you are engaging in deception and manipulation of your wife. To suggest that she befriend this woman that you see no problem in declaring your love is somehow perverse and slimy. 

You have lots of secrets from your wife and you are playing her for a fool while you yourself are playing a fools game. 

Stop this folly and act like the head of the family. Get a grip, you are the captain of the family ship and you are running it aground Capt Queeg.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

If you love your wife at all you will stop this dangerous game now. 

Being platonic friends with someone is not the same as having a committed relationship with her. You may not even know what she would have been like in a romantic relationship, so your "love" is probably more like infatuation.

What is missing inside of you that you would endanger your marriage for some fantasy from your past?? I would spend more time thinking about this than daydreaming on FB. 

If you truly want to be with her, divorce your wife and THEN take up with your flame. If you aren't willing to do this, you have the answer to what direction you should take. You can't have your cake and eat it too, buddy!


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## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

This is called an emotional affair. Around these parts, we just abbreviate it "EA." Do not do this. If you do, you will very possibly damage your marriage beyond anything a one-night stand can do.


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