# Time to move on.



## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

Over the weekend I had an eipthany of sorts. I hadn't logged on it almost a week. It was probably the happiest week I have had since D-Day. 

As I approach my 1 yr aniv of D-Day its become clear to me, that the only time I trigger is when I read up on here about that same things that happened to me. I become paranoid, and start digging and digging, only to find nothing. 

My sister is a registered thereapist, and has been a god send of help. She was actually the one that pointed out to me what I was doing. (I tell her pretty much everything) She was the most critical of my wife after D-Day, and even she said that if I am not willing to move on, I will never move on. 

To date I have found no evidence of contact, and I have looked EVERYWHERE. I am at the point that if I do find something that she would have had to been so sneaky, and straight up lying to my face, that it would only make my decesion to divorce even easier. My wife has done the heavy lifting, and continues to show remorse. I have kinda put up a wall around me, so as to not let her get to close, in hopes of not having my heart broke again. I need to slowly start taking that wall down, and give my marrriage the attention it deserves. I will continue to monitor, and never forget what happened to me, in hopes of avoiding it in the future. 

In order to fully concentrate on my marriage, I need to be able to give 100%, and I simply can't do that while I am still triggering, and trying to uncover something, that most likely isn't there. 

I sincerely want to thank TAM, and its member. I only wish I would have found this site before D-Day and not after. 

My only .02 to any newcombers, would be to listen to the advice (most of it ) when you have your own D-Day. It really is a fog that WS looks through, and being nice really gains you nothing. I was fortunate that even though I found this site after I had reconciled, I took swift action to end my wifes affair. I am confident to this day, that had I not exposed, and filed for divore in a timely manner, I would not be married today. Its not a easy choice to tell everyone your marriage problems, but I have learned who my true friends were, and have limited my contact with the ones that are not. I can honestly say, I am probably more happy today, then I have been in years. 

Thanks for all the help over the past year, and good luck to the members who come here for help. 

As of 5:00 cst time today, I plan to take some time off. 

I may check back in from time to time, but no offense, I hope I never need to come back again. 

good luck, and god bless all the CWI regulars.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

G-d bless to you as well!

I am sending very good mojo out to you and to your wife!

May happiness and peace land at your feet!


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