# Seems like a no brainer but...



## annie*paige (Nov 27, 2011)

I settled 25 yrs ago and married a man that I wasn't madly in love with. I settled for him because he was different from every other man I had ever seriously dated. He was responsible and had an amazing work ethic and drive. He was incredibly kind, quiet, so polite. He opened doors and pulled out chairs. He was such a good listener and we would talk for hours. We had great sex and great chemistry. Fast forward 25 years...his kindness turned into apologizing after he would physically assault me. He spent one night in jail for headbutting me so hard it broke my nose and knocked me out. He wasn't so quiet or polite anymore. He loved to remind me how my biological father had bailed on me at birth so I was a pathetic unwanted unloved waste of space. I could stand to lose about 20 lbs but he would phrase it that I was so fat that I looked like I was pregnant. He doesn't listen anymore he walks away if I even attempt to speak to him about anything marriage related. I found out 5 yrs ago that he cheated on me because he gave me genital warts. We dont have sex...we dont even share a room/bed. I have slept everywhere..on the couch, an air mattress, the floor, my 10 yr old son's bed, but I refuse to lay in the same bed as him. He all the while has remained comfortable in the master bedroom in the king size bed not losing a wink of sleep. Why have I stayed? I can give you a hundred reasons...none of them good, but I guess there are 3 worth sharing. Our 10 yr old is devoted to his dad. He is pretty damn sure that he hung the moon and the stars. I'm so afraid he'd choose to live with him if we divorce, or hate me for breaking up the family. I will never have the financial ability to care for myself or my son the way he can. Our lives will surely change dramatically from a financial standpoint. I will never make the kind of money he does. I'm scared to do life alone...what if it's forever and I never find someone again? 
At least he was a warm body in the home that mowed, shoveled, put out the trash, fixed broken things, and adored his son. I'm so tired and I'm so miserable. My lonliness consumes me. Would love a pep talk to see this through or advice on if I should just walk away. Thanks for listening and any advice.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

This "good guy" has beat you so far down that you are wondering "if" you should leave.
Not if, annie, but when. And when is right now.

Take your son if he's a minor and run.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Couple things... Is this the kind of relationship you want your son to think is correct? Because this is what he's learning. And your husband will have a legal obligation to support your son at least financially. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## annie*paige (Nov 27, 2011)

Thanks for the advice and feedback. It's crazy how a person can absolutely without question know when something is so wrong and yet still need validation..again thanks!


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