# Temporary Orders



## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

I had the first hearing April 17th but haven't received any official orders. My lawyer sent me one brief email April 18th saying that I would have to pay between US$600 and US$ 800 per month but has not responded to any questions. Now I hear from my wife that my lawyer and her lawyer are "working out" my contribution toward health insurance. I haven't heard one word from my lawyer about this.

I'm not even sure what question to ask TAM.

Does this all sound normal?
Over two weeks without an official order after the temporary orders hearing?
Not a word mentioned regarding health care costs and me not involved in the discussion?
Lawyer gone dark on communications?


----------



## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

How many kids are we talking about?


----------



## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Have you called you tried to call your lawyer to see what is going on? they should be talking to you about what is going on and not leave you in the dark.


----------



## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

@ReturntoZero



> How many kids are we talking about?


Two kids - ages 7 and 9
@Lostme



> Have you called you tried to call your lawyer to see what is going on?


I'm in China so its hard but my son has been calling and calling and can't get a response.


----------



## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Health insurance for who? You don't owe your ex wife health insurance. Whoever pays for the children's health insurance gets a credit in the child support formula.

I gave my ex wife the house and in return "just" pay her $500/m in CS for what seems like eternity. The least amount of $ I have to claim as a monthly obligations the better in my books.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You should always be an integral part of any legal negotiation process unless you intentionally gave your attorney unequivocal  Carte Blanche  in handling such things!*


----------



## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

Its going on 3 weeks since the temporary orders hearing and still no official order or anything.
My wife had her lawyer contact my lawyer to ask for US$2000 toward US$4000 for summer child care.
I contacted my wife directly via skype and said it would be cheaper and much more rewarding if she sent the kids to China for the Summer. It turns out my sons from my first marriage are coming to visit me in China and they offered to accompany my daughters to China. We met in China, she is Chinese and I work near ChengDu, about 150 miles from her home town of ChongQing, where she is from and where her father lives. It seems like a solid plan but she refuses to even consider the idea. I am certain that she is just being spiteful. Then she told me that they really even want to go, which felt hurtful and just made me angry.

Then we started to argue about distribution of assets. I'm standing firm on getting 50% because she had an affair. I understand Indiana is no fault so she can't be penalized for having an affair but if she gets more than 50% its like a reward for having an affair. I'm ready to spend more on lawyers than give her more than 50%.

I was going to suggest that we consider an open marriage arrangement so before our skype I told I had something I needed to talk about. When we started the conversation, the first words out of her mouth were, "did you get your GF pregnant?" She sounded concerned about that. I know it make me sound like a d_ick but I now want to get my gf pregnant just to piss off my STBXW.

I never did suggest the open marriage btw.

I met a 33 year old


----------



## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Secondguessing said:


> Its going on 3 weeks since the temporary orders hearing and still no official order or anything.
> My wife had her lawyer contact my lawyer to ask for US$2000 toward US$4000 for summer child care.
> I contacted my wife directly via skype and said it would be cheaper and much more rewarding if she sent the kids to China for the Summer. It turns out my sons from my first marriage are coming to visit me in China and they offered to accompany my daughters to China. We met in China, she is Chinese and I work near ChengDu, about 150 miles from her home town of ChongQing, where she is from and where her father lives. It seems like a solid plan but she refuses to even consider the idea. I am certain that she is just being spiteful. Then she told me that they really even want to go, which felt hurtful and just made me angry.
> 
> ...


Tell her nothing.

Talk less - do more


----------



## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

I'm glad you liked that remark 2guess.

My safe man had to pound it into me over and over. YOU TALK TOO MUCH!

Endless talking is merely approval seeking - isn't it?


----------



## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

> Endless talking is merely approval seeking - isn't it?


I agree - or an attempt to engage.

I should be happy but I'm not. I'm still thinking about getting back together all the time but I never talk about it. I just think about it. If she wasn't such a greedy bi!ch, I would have suggested an open marriage. I'm glad I didn't. I have more disposable income. My gf is younger than my wife. I'm just not happy.


----------



## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Secondguessing said:


> I agree - or an attempt to engage.
> 
> I should be happy but I'm not. I'm still thinking about getting back together all the time but I never talk about it. I just think about it. If she wasn't such a greedy bi!ch, I would have suggested an open marriage. I'm glad I didn't. I have more disposable income. My gf is younger than my wife. I'm just not happy.


I've had many girlfriends. The one I wanted was my wife.

But, I had to behave as if I didn't give two ****s about her.\

You would be surprised what strong medicine that is.

It will force her to decide what SHE wants.

And, guess what?

If something "good" is her idea... then it's a good one.

Draw strength from that immutable truth.


----------



## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Last but not least.

NEVER EVER try to "convince" her of anything.

Just communicate your plan when the time comes.

Do it without emotion and without fear.


----------



## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

The temporary order is finally official: I have to pay $850 per month and that includes my contribution to health insurance and after school child care. My gross income is US$ 45,000 per year but my housing and insurance are free. I'm paying child support for 2 kids aged 7 and 9.

Does that sound like a reasonable number?

Also, my girlfriend might be pregnant.
Would that have any effect on child support?


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Secondguessing said:


> The temporary order is finally official: I have to pay $850 per month and that includes my contribution to health insurance and after school child care. My gross income is US$ 45,000 per year but my housing and insurance are free. I'm paying child support for 2 kids aged 7 and 9.
> 
> Does that sound like a reasonable number?
> 
> ...


Get a paternity test before letting her put you as the father on the birth certificate.

Maybe have your other kids tested. Maybe just maybe birth control is in order.

As far as it effecting child support ....of course you will now be responcible for yet another child for at least 18yrs!


----------

