# Hubby’s embarressed by my lack of pubes



## sarah.rslp

Sorry for the rather vulgar title but it accurately sums up this little weird incident pretty accurately. I've been on this forum for a while now and I decided I'd take advantage of the anonymity of the net to ask for opinions on the only proper argument hubby and I ever had. It's something I've only mentioned to one friend in real life and she was mainly interested in reassuring and trying to calm me down.

Anywho here's what happened in all the painful detail, over a year ago I bought my sister in law and her equally chubby friend to the gym in an effort to get in good with the in laws.

I just wore a track suit to the gym and wasn't wearing any underwear, cause my work out kit was there and I had a clean set to wear after. my sister in law had ignored what I asked them to do and just come in tracksuits.

So they stand their looking at me in the changing room while I'm getting changed. Then she starts lecturing me about needing to wear a bra while I've got my sports bra in my hand. I'm the very model of patience. At that stage it hadn't occurred to me that I also shave my pubes and don't have a tan line.

Anywho The workout didn't go so well mainly because she was lazy and couldn't understand the need to get your heart rate up and sweat rather than bimbling on the thread mill and watching the tv.Although her friend in fairness was more interested.

In the locker room afterwards my sister in law discovered the shower was open plan, and didn't want to be naked in front of other people, so I said fine I'd shower first then stand outside and ask everybody to wait. although her friend did shower with me.We were going to dinner afterwards and waiting to shower at home wasn't an option.

When i got out of the shower my in law was changing into her fresh clothes and i just flipped (i'd been the picture of calm up untill then) I told her she was walking home unless she showered and that she was getting into the shower. the words 'dirty minger' were mentioned

She started welling up and we had a bit of a barnie but she did agree to shower in the end, and i did stand outside asking people to wait.

anyway my hubby and I talked about it that night and i agreed to apologize, for a quite life, which I did.

A few days later my hubby mentions in passing about how he'd prefer if i didn't shave my pubes anymore, I put two and two together went schiz and hubby and I had our first proper arguement. I knew before that my shaving my pubes made him uncomfortable but we had the conversation and I though we had settled it.

So i was about to track down good old sis and remove her from the family tree ,but eventually calmed down. But she has a big mouth and with a smalle circle of family it didn't help my reputation any. I never actually confronted her about it after promising hubby that I wouldn't but what really annoyed me at the time is how he seemed to be slightly embarressed by me and how he agreed with his sister that my waxing my pubes was some overt sexual statement.

Anywho I'd welcome any opinions that people might have, I know it sounds stragne but this is genuinely the only proper arguement that I've ever had with my husband.


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## lostluv

Frankly, IMO, it is none of the siter-in-law's business what you do to your body and your husband should have said as much to her. I can understand not wanting a family confrontation but I also think he should not have brought it up in the way it appears he did. On a side note...if this is the only arguement you have with your hubby, then congrats to the two of you and I hope this does not turn into a major issue.


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## TGolbus

Get a grip and see the whole pictures....I love when my wife trims (trying to get her to way - she will shave ;-)) I don't want to do down there and have to dig through the bush....
Sounds like your sister in law isn't very happy sexually - or at least open in that area. Bess her and how that she gets good sex now and again!


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## marina72

I have to say, your story was a little bit funny, I don't mean that in a bad way! I enjoyed reading it, only because it is really kind of ridiculous that he'd be embarrassed by you or your body or how you cut your pubes. I can tell you personally, that my hubby likes mine short, with only a small line in the middle , sorry for the TMI. He says when I let it grow it's like he's kissing a goat , when we have oral! LOL..... And really, I don't like it either, because I don't want it sticking out of my panties, or bathing suit. So I prefer it short too. It think it was really kind of sick, of your sister in law to mention something like that to her own brother, who does that? Anyway, I'd just ignore her, and her stupid comments. I cant' think of any time where my husband's siblings would be wanting to mention my pubes.... your sis in law sounds like she's a bit freaky deaky.... ;-) Wax on baby!


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## michzz

The only thing you've done wrong is let your catty sister in law try to get to you. First she implies that your tits are saggy and need a bra, then wants yo to stage manage the shower room because she's too lard-assed to be seen naked?

You should not have told her she needs to shower. Sher could go stinko if she had to. 

But her talking about your shaven pubes to other people? Maybe because she is that indiscreet about such things is why she wanted a solo shower, she worried you or someone else would talk about her lack of tone?

You can be as slick as a baby's behind if you want to be. or hairy as that goat someone mentioned. It's nobody's business but your own!


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## sarah.rslp

michzz said:


> First she implies that your tits are saggy and need a bra,


Just so everyone know my boobs are in no way saggy, I look after them and they're withstanding gravity quite nicely


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## justean

your sis in law is jealous of you. 
comments like that when your obviously looking after yourself, its realy her with the issues.
we all have different reasons and how we look after ourselves down below in the nether regions, but its what you feel comfortable with.
i more in agreeance with MICHZZ here, she is very catty .
but i warn you here, she wil prob try and do it again in the future.
personally if it were me, i wouldnt have let her get away with it.
nip it in the bud.


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## sarah.rslp

justean said:


> your sis in law is jealous of you.
> comments like that when your obviously looking after yourself, its realy her with the issues.
> we all have different reasons and how we look after ourselves down below in the nether regions, but its what you feel comfortable with.
> i more in agreeance with MICHZZ here, she is very catty .
> but i warn you here, she wil prob try and do it again in the future.
> personally if it were me, i wouldnt have let her get away with it.
> nip it in the bud.


This all happened over a year ago, I never really confronted her about it. To be honest I think she felt a bit hummilitated that I forced her to have a shower and it was her way of getting back at me. Hubby has never been comfortable with my shaving my pubes and she probably just realised it would push his buttons.

Women that shave their pubes wasn't something that hubby had encountered before me and he attached sexual connotations to it. I explained my reasons for doing it, in that I joined the army at 16 and its just easier to keep yourself clean, when you don't have access to running water or a change a clothes. A couple of years ago at his request I experimented with letting my pubes grow back, the first problem was that it came back like wire wool, instead of just running a razor over myself while i was doing my legs I had to trim it with a scissor it was just a hassle, and finally I just didn't like how I looked with it. None of my reasons had anything to do with sex.


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## justean

sarah.rslp said:


> This all happened over a year ago, I never really confronted her about it. To be honest I think she felt a bit hummilitated that I forced her to have a shower and it was her way of getting back at me. Hubby has never been comfortable with my shaving my pubes and she probably just realised it would push his buttons.QUOTE]
> 
> oh yes my mistake, but i do think your right in your saying it would push his buttons. but again it does come down to her jealousy of your relationship. you obviously have a very good relationship with your H, if it was the only issue she could tell him about to get his buttons pushed, then unfortunately she is just very sad in herself.


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## sarah.rslp

justean said:


> oh yes my mistake, but i do think your right in your saying it would push his buttons. but again it does come down to her jealousy of your relationship. you obviously have a very good relationship with your H, if it was the only issue she could tell him about to get his buttons pushed, then unfortunately she is just very sad in herself.


You were right though she did try and do it again. She lives a 100 yards down the road from us with her parents so she gets plenty of oppurtunity.


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## GAsoccerman

she is just jealous Sarah that is all.

In America it is perfectly normal for a woman to shave her private area, even make designs, like a heart. :smthumbup:


I actually shave my wife's which she loves, not bare, just to a small area, but its a little thing we like to do together, she likes that I enjoy doing it, she always gets a "treat" when I am done with my task :smthumbup:

He should not be embarrassed at all, I guess just not Culturally acceptable yet in England?

for us Americans, we are shocked when women don't.


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## sarah.rslp

mommy22 said:


> As for your husband, although I do think most men prefer it to be clean shaven (or at least neatly trimmed), perhaps you should discuss with him why it bothers him. Is it insecurity on his part? Maybe he's worried about you not wearing panties to the gym and men might somehow see the goods while you're working out. Could you wear a thong as a compromise?


I did wear knickers and a sports bra while I worked out, I leave my work out kit at the gym where it gets laundered. I changed into an old tracksuit *for the trip* to the gym and didn't bother with undies cause it was only for half an hour. It didn't actually occur to me how that would look to anybody else. You can be rest assured my bits and bobs are well covered up when I'm working out.

Its kind or weird to broadcast intimite bits and pieces on the internet but what the hell.


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## GAsoccerman

I LOVE a woman working out....

is your hubby in good shape does he work out too?

good for you!


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## justean

sarah.rslp said:


> You were right though she did try and do it again. She lives a 100 yards down the road from us with her parents so she gets plenty of oppurtunity.


then theres your answer. i said in real terms you have it better. she doesnt have much better than to cause trouble because she doesnt have a life as good as yours.


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## sarah.rslp

justean said:


> then theres your answer. i said in real terms you have it better. she doesnt have much better than to cause trouble because she doesnt have a life as good as yours.


To be honest I'm not that concerned about my sister in law, I've learned how to deal with over the last year.

But how much of a say would you give your hubby in your grooming. Like I said I did experiment with letting them grow back but I didn't like the way I was looking plus it was just alot more labour intensive.

Just to rehash even more embarressing incidents from my sex life The first time he saw that I did wax, we'd been snogging, and he was really nervous I could tell he didn't like me grabbing him sexually so I didn't. When he finally started rubbing me between my legs I decided to encourage him by undoing my trousers and pushing them down. At which point he bolted. You can tell what that did for my self esteem when your bf sees your crotch and decides to leave you with your trousers down around your ankles.

Anywho Its not really an issue now, hubby's quite happy but still If I asked him now if he wanted me to stop waxing he's say yes. If it was a case of him pressuring me to stop, it would be one thing but he just honestly just doesn't like it.


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## sarah.rslp

mommy22 said:


> I find that fascinating, Justean. Perhaps it is a cultural difference. GA's right, most men in the US seem to prefer clean shaven.


He sees it as overtly sexual, even my arguements about hygine don't really work since I left the army.

I should probably reiterate he apologized for bringing it up, but it was bothering him so I wouldn't have wanted him to bottle it up. He did apologize for not telling his siter where to go stick it. He won't bring it up in conversation but If I ask him he'll say he doesn't like it? so what am I meant to do. I've changed a lot of stuff in my life and I really don't want to change this.


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## lostluv

I agree with M22. If it is not causing any issues I would just let it go. You both know were the other stands and it is your body. If you are able to modify your grooming habits a bit to create a bit of a comprimise then I say suggest it to him first. Say to him "I know this bothers you so how bout a midpoint" and then suggest to him however far it is you are comfortable with it. If you can't handle the idea of being trimmed instead of shaven then I probably would not even bring it up. I would talk about it first though. He may have an all or nothing stance on the matter himself.


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## sarah.rslp

mommy22 said:


> As for your hubby, if he was debating on bringing it up, is it a big issue? Is it a turn-off sexually for him? If not, you could probably leave it as is. If it is a turn off, you may want to consider a compromise such as just leaving a strip of neatly trimmed hair.


Probably its not a big issue and I've just got too much time on my hands. The thing is I've shaved since I was quite young, the short while I did experiment with letting it grow back the hair was like wire and just horrible I constanly needed to trim it. And it just got irritating, Plus I don't think he'd be any happier with just a strip. Anywho I know it sounds bizarre.

Incidently a mate of mine always used to refer to being completley shaved as going 'paratrooper' cause you don't need a landing strip. It even makes hubby smile.


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## GAsoccerman

I prefer my wife to have a "patch" otherwise, much like a males face you would have to shave it every day in order to keep it smooth, no one likes stubble.

Landing strip, is called a Brazillian in America

try shaping it like a heart...my wife's hair is to thin to do that.


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## carmaenforcer

This pube dilemma is too funny. First off, I am of the opinion that although your mans opinion as to how he likes your pubic area to look/feel should matter, your comfort should trump that and you ultimately have final say on whether you want hair down there or not. The fact that he see it as an "overtly sexual" statement, I think you said he called it, leads me to believe that he thinks it's too sexual for his comfort and is threatened by you having "it" shaved. My question then is, why is he so threatened by you wanting to be sexual, feel sexy, or want to make sex more pleasurable by having a smooth "area", if he's the sole beneficiary or your efforts? Unless there is a hidden fear of you being too sexual in general and you shaving your pubes in his mind is you asserting your control over your own sexuality regardless of his opinion. Here in the US in the Mexican community (the ones that still have old school machismo in their relationship dynamic) you see "married" women stop wearing make-up and stop shaving their legs.
I never understood this but came to my own conclusion that since, no "straight" man I know likes hairy legs on the person he is going to have sex with, that is must be a way of making sure that your woman is not giving it to another man.
Why do you need to shave your legs or crotch in your case, if I told you I like it hairy, must be for someone else!

I personally like the fact that my woman shaves her junk, we have the reverse issue in our house hold, she likes my junk shaven and I don't like having to run a razor across my nadds on a regular, especially since we sometimes go months without having sex. So I end up growing it out every time until she asks me to shave it which usually means it's one of those months that she might be in the mood. A pain in the but, but I do it for her.

I say your reasons for not keeping your pubes being one of comfort and not sex, takes the topic off of the communal bargaining table and becomes something that is completely up to you and your business.

I don't think that there should be a problem with you shaving being completely a sexual statement (even though it's not) on your part either, if your man is the only person that you are doing it for.


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## sarah.rslp

Thanks for the post carmaenforcer. Hubby doesn't have any doubts that he's the only man for me. It bothers him a little when I flirt with guys (which was the reason we got together), wear revealing clothes and the pube thing. I think the whole thing with his sister kind of made him think 'oh now my horrible secret is out everybodies going to be talking about it'

He just never had any experience of it before me. He was in a crappy 8 year relationship when he met me. Though It can be lots of fun shocking him some times really basic stuff sexually can make his mind go crazy, the whole weird thing with his sister just made it awkward and embarressing. Actually at one stage I was tempted to name women that he knows that wax their pubes but that would have been wrong.


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## GPR

The wife and I both shave....


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## chillymorn

total shave looks like a little girl to me I prefer trimmed.
maybe he dose also.

although If my wife liked to shave I could get used to it.


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## Mrs.G

mommy22 said:


> I agree completely with the others. You're thin, probably pretty and your sister in law is fat. She was emabarrassed for anyone to see her in the shower because of her weight. Well, she couldn't tear you apart based on your looks so she chooses..... pubic hair???? That's women for you. I don't understand why when people are insecure they find the need to tear others down in order to build themselves up. If she would watch what she eats and work out, she could have a good body too. But NOOO, it's much easier to gorge on Godiva chocolates and come up with lame insults for everyone else. LOL :iagree: I don't have many female friends for this reason. Women have been mostly cruel to me most of my life...it is _always _a female who was less attractive or fatter than me. I had cut off this one "friend" who kept taking swipes at me because my husband supports us. She called me a "lady of leisure" because she is a struggling single mom, who is jealous of the thinner and better looking newlywed. Don't worry about your petty and stupid sister in law.
> 
> As for your husband, although I do think most men prefer it to be clean shaven (or at least neatly trimmed), perhaps you should discuss with him why it bothers him. Is it insecurity on his part? Maybe he's worried about you not wearing panties to the gym and men might somehow see the goods while you're working out. Could you wear a thong as a compromise? Your husband sounds very insecure. He needs to work on that within himself. Mr.G and I like it bald...it so much more sensitive and he doesn't get a mouthful of hair. I called him at work today and told him that it was smooth for him tonight. Hubs loves dirty calls.
> 
> The only other thing I can think in terms of your sister-in-law is maybe she took offense to the gym gift card. She already knows she's fat, maybe you offended her by inadvertantly pointing it out.This makes sense.


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## Amplexor

Since this thread is two years old, I'm sure they've grown back by now.


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## Jamison

Amplexor said:


> Since this thread is two years old, I'm sure they've grown back by now.


:rofl::lol:


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## Conrad

Amplexor said:


> Since this thread is two years old, I'm sure they've grown back by now.


The reward is in the harvest.


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## Amplexor

Conrad said:


> The reward is in the harvest.


Hubby can once again go whistling through the wheat field.


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## golfergirl

Amplexor said:


> Hubby can once again go whistling through the wheat field.



Have to say catchy title!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet

sarah.rslp said:


> Sorry for the rather vulgar title but it accurately sums up this little weird incident pretty accurately. I've been on this forum for a while now and I decided I'd take advantage of the anonymity of the net to ask for opinions on the only proper argument hubby and I ever had. It's something I've only mentioned to one friend in real life and she was mainly interested in reassuring and trying to calm me down.
> 
> Anywho here's what happened in all the painful detail, over a year ago I bought my sister in law and her equally chubby friend to the gym in an effort to get in good with the in laws.
> 
> I just wore a track suit to the gym and wasn't wearing any underwear, cause my work out kit was there and I had a clean set to wear after. my sister in law had ignored what I asked them to do and just come in tracksuits.
> 
> So they stand their looking at me in the changing room while I'm getting changed. Then she starts lecturing me about needing to wear a bra while I've got my sports bra in my hand. I'm the very model of patience. At that stage it hadn't occurred to me that I also shave my pubes and don't have a tan line.
> 
> Anywho The workout didn't go so well mainly because she was lazy and couldn't understand the need to get your heart rate up and sweat rather than bimbling on the thread mill and watching the tv.Although her friend in fairness was more interested.
> 
> In the locker room afterwards my sister in law discovered the shower was open plan, and didn't want to be naked in front of other people, so I said fine I'd shower first then stand outside and ask everybody to wait. although her friend did shower with me.We were going to dinner afterwards and waiting to shower at home wasn't an option.
> 
> When i got out of the shower my in law was changing into her fresh clothes and i just flipped (i'd been the picture of calm up untill then) I told her she was walking home unless she showered and that she was getting into the shower. the words 'dirty minger' were mentioned
> 
> She started welling up and we had a bit of a barnie but she did agree to shower in the end, and i did stand outside asking people to wait.
> 
> anyway my hubby and I talked about it that night and i agreed to apologize, for a quite life, which I did.
> 
> A few days later my hubby mentions in passing about how he'd prefer if i didn't shave my pubes anymore, I put two and two together went schiz and hubby and I had our first proper arguement. I knew before that my shaving my pubes made him uncomfortable but we had the conversation and I though we had settled it.
> 
> So i was about to track down good old sis and remove her from the family tree ,but eventually calmed down. But she has a big mouth and with a smalle circle of family it didn't help my reputation any. I never actually confronted her about it after promising hubby that I wouldn't but what really annoyed me at the time is how he seemed to be slightly embarressed by me and how he agreed with his sister that my waxing my pubes was some overt sexual statement.
> 
> Anywho I'd welcome any opinions that people might have, I know it sounds stragne but this is genuinely the only proper arguement that I've ever had with my husband.


Sounds like the H grew up in a very prudish atmosphere. You best be careful before he throws out your thongs and replaces them with granny panties.


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## Erom

sarah.rslp said:


> I did wear knickers and a sports bra while I worked out, I leave my work out kit at the gym where it gets laundered. I changed into an old tracksuit *for the trip* to the gym and didn't bother with undies cause it was only for half an hour. It didn't actually occur to me how that would look to anybody else. You can be rest assured my bits and bobs are well covered up when I'm working out.
> 
> Its kind or weird to broadcast intimite bits and pieces on the internet but what the hell.


what you wear or don't wear when working out is no ones business but your own, your sister in law is an stuck up ass. 

and agree, with the comment that you should have told her to shower, maybe just told her, she can go all sweaty if she wanted to, maybe suggest a towel so you car interior didn't get all stinky, but that would have been more than enough. 

As far as your husbands influence over your hair or no hair... nothing wrong with asking or saying a preference, ultimately up to you, and it is rare at least from my feelings, as well as others I've seen or heard expressed that he wouldn't want you to shave/wax. just might not know how lucky he is that YOU prefer it that way.... eliminate the question, get lasered and remove it permanently then it's no longer an issue... you never said, but does he trim or even occasionally shave for you?

might be a trade off.... offer to shave him and or let him do the same for you...


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## jezza

The OP stated; 'I bought my sister in law and her equally chubby friend to the gym'.....

Maybe she just got jealous because she was too 'chubby' to be able to shave the 'southern hemisphere' safely! Maybe couldn't even see it!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I use to run 36 miles a week before I broke my neck. I also raced and trained for triathlons. I hate sweating down there and found it more comfortable to shave. I also wore a lot of sports bras and nothing else. I never wore underwear, as my workout clothes always had the built in dry fit lining as my underwear. 

I would be more embarrassed that my in laws were staring me down while naked. I never showered in the gym though, I always waited till I got home when going to the gym for triathlon training. I always changed in the private rooms too and never did I ever look at anyone else changing. That is rude behavior.

Since I quit running, I still kept up my grooming habits. It's what I'm comfortable with. My husband never complains and I'm sure he likes it better gone then super bushy. I also prefer not to wear under garments. It's much more comfortable and the feeling of less restricted. I'm small chested, so there is no need for extra support.

Next time I'd leave the in laws at home. Not everyone likes to workout anyways. My husband and I always preferred to workout alone anyways, especially with running. It's difficult to find someone at your exact speed. Since I broke my neck I no longer can run or swim. It kills me as I miss it terribly! I still have the motivation 3.5 years later. I do still ride the stationary bike, but I can't hold onto the handlebars and I can't pedal as fast as I'd like or I pay the price of pain. I need to keep my upper half still.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CallaLily

Wow this thread is from 2009, wonder if her hubby is still embarrassed.


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## 7737

Well...I'm male and I shave 'down there'! OK..OK...go on, give me the stick about manning up etc!!

Thing is, I find it generally much more comfortable and.....well, when 'He' up there was dishing out schlongs I was at the back of the queue...so if you want to make a tree look taller, you cut away all the 'shrubbery' from the base.... = tree looks taller!

Its no big deal....I shave my face every day in the shower, so doing down there every day is no problem. No ingrowns, no stubble, no itching....


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## k-ci

Shaving is the way to go, I hate having hair down there. Koodos to you. Do you tell your husband how to wear his underwear? Even worst if you told him what to do with his body or body hair. Why does your sister in law care about your pubes for? like REALLY?? You for real!?!


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