# Im am too young for this...



## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

My husband and I have been married for two years. I am nineteen and he is twenty-one. We were high school sweethearts, we have all the same friends, we were perfect. We even just could afford a honeymoon that we took two months ago. It took a lot to convince our parents ot be okay with our marriage but my husband did not rest until everyone thought it was a great idea. He swore we would be forever.
Eighteen days ago he left. I was out of town for a funeral and we talked on the phone, were not fighting, said I love you, and when I came back he was packed. He said he needed space and time because we had grown apart. He refused to make a plan to meet me at any point.
I sat for the next two weeks and read marriage books, visited sites, sent him one email a day telling him of my progress and sending him some of the links I found. He never said a word. 
Yesterday he emailed me that he wants a divorce. He refused to meet or talk one the phone. He texted me that he no longer loves me and hasn't for a while. He has moved in with his fraternity brothers who he just met two months ago when we got back from our honeymoon. He only wants to meet if it means discussing divorce and splitting of our stuff. 
I have been completely dependent on him. I have no license, no car, and no job; he did not want me to have one. I don't know what to do. I love him and none of this makes any sense. Even my in-laws have called lawyers for him. I want him back so badly, someone can't fall out love that quickly. We were supposed to be forever. Help!


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Take this a a blessing from the sky. Work on yourself, go back to school and start a career. Don't marry or have kids until you have matured a bit and found a good man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Im am too young for this...

Yes, you are. Bless your immature mistakes of the heart.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

After what I went through I've come to realize that no matter how long you've been with someone, 6 months, a year, a few years a few decades... when the person you have complete trust in and devotion to pulls the rug out like that it hurts deep, it is a shock, it is disorienting... so Gabriel you have my sympathy.

It definitely seems hasty, which I can relate to with the way my wife went about things, though we were into it about 7 years (it was actually seven years to the day I proposed that I found the photos she sent to the OM (the one who she said she cut off as soon as I found out but just today added him back to her BBM)

I'm not trying to suggest there is an OW, just that I can empathize for your pain. I hope you can make sense of it all and that if there is a chance to reconcile you can work past this. But there is also no shame if it doesn't go that way, what he does is out of your control. If is over don't let it bog you down, and be thankful that you haven't spent years or more in a dead-end relationship, and it sounds like you don't have children with him which is probably a good thing because co-parenting is a lifelong commitment that is a lot of work if its with someone you have any kind of resentment for.

I just stumbled upon this site a couple days ago and reading what the other members have to say has been enlightening and helpful. So welcome, this site is a blessing.


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

Hi Gab, I'm almost in the same boat as u except I'm a bit older. Husband is also seeking the single life and freedom but I believe it is because of the problems that we had, we have been through a rough patch. I'm not making an excuse for him but I know he became depressed last year, losing his job, immigration humiliation, plus not to mention a traumatic childhood. All I want is to hold his hand and tell him I want to be with you as you are facing these problems, pleas let me be with you.... 

I'm crying because he has closed his heart, I know he still cares and loves me but he doesn't want me to be with him. That hurts!!!


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I am definitely in the same boat and definitely older. Married about the same length of time and he left me while I was at work. I know it hurts and unfortunately since you love him it will hurt for a lil while longer. But please believe me...it gets better and better by the day. I will be praying for you. You really do have the whole world available to you. Get back up on your horse and ride to where you want to go. There is so much opportunity for you. Seek your family out for help and reassurance and face the world with a smile, even when you feel like crying your self to sleep. You are a winner too, and will make it through whatever befalls you.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Gabriel527 said:


> My husband and I have been married for two years. I am nineteen and he is twenty-one. We were high school sweethearts, we have all the same friends, we were perfect. We even just could afford a honeymoon that we took two months ago. It took a lot to convince our parents ot be okay with our marriage but my husband did not rest until everyone thought it was a great idea. He swore we would be forever.
> Eighteen days ago he left. I was out of town for a funeral and we talked on the phone, were not fighting, said I love you, and when I came back he was packed. He said he needed space and time because we had grown apart. He refused to make a plan to meet me at any point.
> I sat for the next two weeks and read marriage books, visited sites, sent him one email a day telling him of my progress and sending him some of the links I found. He never said a word.
> Yesterday he emailed me that he wants a divorce. He refused to meet or talk one the phone. He texted me that he no longer loves me and hasn't for a while. He has moved in with his fraternity brothers who he just met two months ago when we got back from our honeymoon. He only wants to meet if it means discussing divorce and splitting of our stuff.
> I have been completely dependent on him. I have no license, no car, and no job; he did not want me to have one. I don't know what to do. I love him and none of this makes any sense. Even my in-laws have called lawyers for him. I want him back so badly, someone can't fall out love that quickly. We were supposed to be forever. Help!


Time to make a plan for you. Can you go back home work part-time, save for a car, go back to school (for trade or post-secondary training of some sort), get a license? My daughter is your age and her life is just beginning as yours is too. Doesn't seem like it now but it is!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

To clear up some confusion: I do not have children and I am a full-time straight A honors student at a university. My husband goes to the same school.


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

no such thing as too young... you are lucky! You are finding out while you still have tons of time to do so much more 
You are young and full of potential!
Would it be better if you were 37, past your prime, had 3 kids and stretch marks galore like me?


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## Tina77 (Jun 6, 2011)

You're so young! The man who'll make you happy will come!


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## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

Is their no hope for reconciliation? He did not give me any reasons. When a husband no longer loves his wife he should go out with her and try to fall in love again before quitting. He was holding me and saying I love you one day and packed the next. He has put no effort into trying to salvage us. 
And if we can't reconcile how i am supposed to ever meet someone, I am a complete introvert and have no friends.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

Gabriel,

There is always hope, but you can't focus on that right now. You say you have no friends...get some. What interests do you have? Find groups of people who have the same and start connecting. If you define yourself with someone else, you live their life not yours. Live your life, you deserve it. You are a special person and deserve to be happy. I know it sounds cruel, but in some ways it is better that it happened now instead of 10, 20, 30 years down the road. If he is going to flake out this early, he was going to eventually anyway. 

If he comes back, make sure you have the control and not him. He is calling the shots now, you need to start calling the shots. If my W were to come back today, I would not take her back (without many different concessions from her and promises to work on her and us). 

Just realize that you deserve to be happy and have a good life. Keep at the school work and your grades. The best revenge is living well! I know you are not at this point, but you will get there. I did and am now happier than I have been in many years. Keep your hope, but don't rely on it. Be you and if you don't know who you are, find out. It will be the best relationship you have ever had!


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