# this feeling wont ease



## complete fool (Oct 25, 2009)

my wife left me a little over a week ago,we have had a good marrage for 20 year but lately i have neglected her.
i have a lot of hobbies and i put her second best every time.
debt is part of it too but i burried my head in the sand and thought she could deal with it all.
i know it was all my fault,but now she wont let me know where she is and wont speak...
the love i have for her is undying and i need to let her know.
i am at rock bottom,lost over a stone in weight and all i can think of is her.
ive not eaten but have had energy drinks.
sleep is nil even with 2 temazapams at night.
will this feeling ever ease?.
i just feel like im empty inside and need her back so much..
any and all help taken..


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## sandyf (Apr 14, 2009)

I asked my husband to move out several weeks ago and some of the reasons are similar to yours and he is currently feeling scared, hurt and paniced.

If you truly see what it is you have been doing wrong, you need to work on fixing it. You also need to find out from her if what you think is wrong is really what is wrong. If she is anything like me, what she needs right now is some time and space and to see some real changes on your part. As of now, my husband is not doing that as much as I would hope, but I do still have some hope. I know that given the scope of our problems it is going to take a long time to fix things, so be prepared for months, even a year if your marriage means that much to you.

Good luck, try to relax, take a deep breath and just take one day at a time.

Sandy


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## complete fool (Oct 25, 2009)

my wife is my life,i live for her and would die for her.
i know i have been neglecting her and have been a total fool in the way i hid from things.
the signs were there but i couldnt see them until it was too late.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

She will eventually make a connection with you. To either try to wrap up the marriage, get something out of the house, or see how you are doing. When she does, she needs to see someone taking care of themselves and their life.

You are WAY more attractive when you are taking action on your behalf and taking care of business. Isn't this why she left you in the first place? 

If she comes home and find out that you are in bad shape....what will she think? Oh...why would I want to come home now? Why would I want to go into that mess again? 

Prove her wrong. Pull yourself together and work on yourself.


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## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

I agree with Corpus, I feel as if I am in your shoes...take good care of yourself! she WILL notice!


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## complete fool (Oct 25, 2009)

stll feeling like its the end of the world,she wont text or speak to me.
i have never been viokent and over the 20 years can count on one hand how many arguments we have had.
ive done everything i can think of and i know she would be proud of me if she only knew how well ive coped with the day to day problems of running the house......ive even lowered the household outgoings by two thirds.
on top of this my 17 year old daughter is now ill and i want her to have her mother at her side buy my daughter is being strong and says that we will get through it.
my wife is suffering with depression and im guilty of not seeing the signs,but im so desperate to right the wrongs and put things right.
if i could only turn back time.....
im very depressed at the moment and feeling very guilty that i caused all these problems...
what do i do next?.


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## complete fool (Oct 25, 2009)

still feeling bad..............never felt this way and never cried like this ever.....
very depressed and cant go any lower.
she has text me but just to say its over,but 20 year cant end that quickly.................can it?.
life seems so meaningless................


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

hang in there. I'm right there with you brother.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Do you have a counselor or minister to talk to?

You need to gain support and do things for yourself. 

Even though your consumed with thoughts of her...get out and do something. 

Tell friends and family that you need to be kept busy and need their invitations to outtings. Let them know what you need. It's surprising how they will come to your aid.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Do some reading. Find out what you need to do to be a better man.. It's not about fixing the marriage as it is about fixing what you are doing. You said you love her so much but put some many things above her. Learn what it takes to love her first and work from there..


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## mng777777 (Nov 2, 2009)

I just want to say that you are not alone. I have been seperated now for two weeks from my wife and for what sounds like a lot of the same reasons. I have felt similar feelings to what you described and it hurts just to read your post. My only advice is to validate what has already been said. Focus on the things that you can do to fix yourself. These things are not all one sided, but I have learned on my own that despite how she contributed the biggest issue for her now is that she doesn't believe you can change. Prove her wrong! Then get into counseling together. I will pray that you find the strength to address the problems in your life and that your wife sees the change in you and realizes that your marriage is worth fighting for. I am praying the same for myself everyday! Don't Give UP!


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## complete fool (Oct 25, 2009)

yes im going to counciling,now on very strong anti depresants.
sleept less than 10 hours over the last fortnight and still not eaten.
weight loss now over 2 stone.
i have seen the wife for a brief moment but no conversation took place.
ive written letters every day,go to church on sundays and pray like ive never prayed before.
instead of easing its getting worse,i live for this woman she is perfect and my soul mate.
i wish i could just get into conversation so she can see the new me....................
but no matter what happens in the future i will never go back to how i was.
too little too late but i have seen the error of my ways and am doing everything to rectify it.
i now make time for everyone who speaks to me and look for the good not the negative.


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## Nowhere Man (Dec 1, 2009)

Hi, I am in the exact same boat... One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is how undeveloped my ability to be on my own is - esp after having a partner for 20 yrs. It sometimes pisses me off how my entire net worth is in her hands. I want her back too, but part of me wants to get stronger on my own so I will not be as vulnerable and helpless in the future.

Just something to think about - good luck.


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