# My daughter cried tonight



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

My seperated H spent the afternoon with the kids, we had a family tea then a couple of hours just relaxing. It was nice.

He usually stays to put our daughter to bed (shes 10) but he went earlier than usual. She cried and sobbed in my arms. It just breaks my heart. What the hell is he doing?

I know she is luckier than some of your children on this forum. She gets to see her daddy everyday, but she adores him and i just want to shake him. I just wonder what she makes of all this. i just reassured her that daddy loves her, but there is a sadness in her eyes and i really resent him for it, for spoiling her innocense. Selfish SOB!!


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

whoever made the divorce is the selfish one. was it you.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

My 20 yo daughter is taking this very hard too. There's been several times this week and last where she has skipped classes and curled up in fetal position for quite awhile - this is not her. If I tell my H about this he will just think I am trying to guilt him... He is being a selfish SOB as well and I hope he comes out of whatever has him in this fog... it is so unlike him to be so uncaring for his family. I am taking her to the dr on Tuesday. I resent him for doing this to her (I did warn him this would happen). My 21 yo son avoids him like the freakin' plague and H doesn't see/feel it - blind to what they are doing. 

My little kids don't quite get it yet... 

Will she talk to you about her feelings? Can she get therapy maybe just even at school?


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Can your daughter spend time with him at his house? I think it's time to change the situation. I think your daughter had a false hope reality check. Until you guys are living together again, the kids should spend time with him alone. Also u spend time with him alone. No more family things too much false hope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

This all makes me so sad. I hate all this. I just wish things were easier. If i knew I would feel this much pain from a marriage I would never have gotten married.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

accept said:


> whoever made the divorce is the selfish one. was it you.


We are not divorced.
Yes it is him.
Thats why i said he was a selfish SOB!


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

justwhy said:


> Can your daughter spend time with him at his house? I think it's time to change the situation. I think your daughter had a false hope reality check. Until you guys are living together again, the kids should spend time with him alone. Also u spend time with him alone. No more family things too much false hope.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i agree
His place is just about ready for him to have the children there
I think she will stay there next weekend for the first time.
Another milestone 
My hope is fading but as you say it was a false hope reality check for her.
My poor girl!


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> My 20 yo daughter is taking this very hard too. There's been several times this week and last where she has skipped classes and curled up in fetal position for quite awhile - this is not her. If I tell my H about this he will just think I am trying to guilt him... He is being a selfish SOB as well and I hope he comes out of whatever has him in this fog... it is so unlike him to be so uncaring for his family. I am taking her to the dr on Tuesday. I resent him for doing this to her (I did warn him this would happen). My 21 yo son avoids him like the freakin' plague and H doesn't see/feel it - blind to what they are doing.
> 
> My little kids don't quite get it yet...
> 
> Will she talk to you about her feelings? Can she get therapy maybe just even at school?


Its just heartbreaking isnt it. Why cant they see what they are doing?
I try and talk to her but i dont think she can find the words. She is such a happy, confident little girl and as i said she does see him everyday so our situation isnt as bad as some. Im keeping a close eye on her.

Has your H had any contact with the kids lately?
I read your story earlier mama. You are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself xxx


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

sadwithouthim said:


> This all makes me so sad. I hate all this. I just wish things were easier. If i knew I would feel this much pain from a marriage I would never have gotten married.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes it is a very difficult time. 
I think i still would have married him. He is the love of my life. But there are many things i would have done differently. Many regrets!
Take care x


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

daisygirl 41 said:


> Its just heartbreaking isnt it. Why cant they see what they are doing?
> I try and talk to her but i dont think she can find the words. She is such a happy, confident little girl and as i said she does see him everyday so our situation isnt as bad as some. Im keeping a close eye on her.
> 
> Has your H had any contact with the kids lately?
> I read your story earlier mama. You are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself xxx


The H don't want to see because then they would know what SOBs they are being (not just to their wife's but family). He actually took them for about 3+ hours (the most in 4.5 wks he has seen them at once). He took them to his apt and they think it's cool but has very little there so they feel bad for him. In 4+wks he has now seen them 8 hours total.

My 20 yo is super smart but has had anxiety issues and has very hard time expressing herself. She has agreed to go to my dr though which is a big deal. 

Last wk was horrible for me just like so many on here. I don't want to give up on him yet and I wrestled w/ it all night ... insomnia! Even w/ pain meds I couldn't stop thinking about him. 

Mine says he is afraid he has screwed up so badly in the last 3 months that he is afraid we could never work it out and I would always hold it over him, w/o MC I think he is right, but w/ it I am a better person than that. 

The H don't have to deal w/ the damage they are doing to the kids on a daily basis as we do... the kids will see it as they get older and the men will pay for it in the end.


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