# Wife told me she wants a divorce in Nov. what should I do?



## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

I have a thread "trying a no contact separation". (lots more in there also) I have been talking to her posing as a woman on a diet plan she is on and coaches for on aim. In the last few days I have found out that she has been having sex with another guy. she is going to Florida for a week to meet up with a friend with benefits she has had since college.

I have been trying to see what she thinks about me by asking questions about me. she claims i beat her, raped her, cheated on her. she told the woman i am posing to be that she is scared of me. I never cheated on my wife she claims to found a number on our cell phone bill and called it and confronted the OW. She claimed to have the police present the only times she has seen me since she moved out. WTF!!! thinks i am an A$$ and told me she is never going back.

I never Physically abused her or anything. maybe left some bruises from rough sex. other than that we did some knock down drag out yelling. She is a lying B***h.

Okay now that I have that out. what do I do? I have read all sorts of books and I am leaning towards this is not a salvageable marriage.

I was going to use the technique I read in a post about calling her and saying " Honey I agree with you the marriage is over. There is no reason to try to fix what can't be fixed. I'll help you find a new place to live."

only she already moved out. what do I use for the third sentence?

"I want to see other people"?

I called her the other day after I found out she had sex and didn't bring up the OM. I asked how she was and chit chat and asked her if she would still like to go to a hockey game. she said she didn't have time before her trip but after she would. she said she doesn't know what she wants

Do I confront her about the other Men (yes at least two)

I don't call her everyday. I left her alone for a month. I pay the mortgage the car insurance the health insurance because i have been told i am responsible for her while we are still married. Am I wrong on this?

part of me wants to renew the insurance without her car and let her get a speeding ticket.

If she will lie to an outright stranger then what is she telling her family ????

Am I better to just cut my losses?

We don't have any kids.

only been married two plus years July would have been three...

I want to tell her I know about the b/f and Jim the guy she is going to Florida see. I thought it was for work.

What a dope I am.

She went to Florida in august while I was in Wisconsin for training for the Army for three weeks and then again in September. prob slept with the whole state. Sorry I feel numb again.

So I know I'm supposed to push the divorce. then what? I have no idea where she lives.

If I file how the hell am I supposed to have her served?

Do i tell her she needs help? she has rewritten our whole marriage.


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## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

She has everyone thinking she is a victim and everyone is helping her its such BS


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

First off brilliant idea posing as a woman on a diet. It sounds like you dont have to push for the divorce but I would sure start on it. Does she not have the money to pay half the bills because I dont see why you should be paying everything. Im sorry you are going through this. I wouldnt tell her any of it I would hold all the cards until its to your advantage to play them. I certainly wouldnt be taking her to a hockey game. Next time you see her just act totally disinterested like you have a million other things to do that have nothing to do with her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

You can find anyone nowadays. If she contact you, ask for her address that she can be served divorced papers.

This is a woman that, after a few years, has deserted her marriage. I would cut bait.

Difficult-yes.


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## beninneedofhelp (Nov 24, 2009)

Wow after just the first few lines i would say get a real women sorry no disrespect but wow is all i can say .. Secondly its not hard to track anyone these days at all even a IP address can get you there.. Also CUT her off of all money you dont deserve to put yourself through this and the day she walked out and started playing games like she is with all this other stuff you said is the day you needed to let her soak in reality...


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## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

update. I sent her a text sat morning two days ago. "I agree with you the marriage is over. there is no reason to try to fix what can't be fixed. I know about your other men."

She replied "what other men? wtf u talking about?" 

i waited several hour to let her stew. then i called her. told her i was done and when she sent me the divorce papers i would sign them. 

she denied having a boyfreind and that she was going to florida to meet an old freind. I told her i don't trust her anymore.

She asked what do i really want? I told her i would really like her to give me a chance and that our old marriage is over and we need to start a new one.

She said she would like that. I told her it had been hard for me over the holidays and she agreed. I commented on how It has diffucult to find one gift for her for christmas but at least it wasn't car parts. she laughed.

she suggested we have a date night when she got back. I told her i loved her and she said she had been waiting months to hear that. since i started Dbing i have been NC which she said hurt her and that she thought i didn't love her anymore because i didn't say i loved her. 

I want this to work. she said she would make time to call me on her trip so time will tell. 

I sent her a text this morning about having a safe flight. she said thanks and she would let me know when she landed.


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## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

my heart says i want to see her. my mind says run.


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

jeepmanw518 said:


> my heart says i want to see her. my mind says run.


Well I understand how you feel Jeep, but you found out for yourself what she is saying about you and what she is doing. There is no end to what other things she will do. You need to protect yourself because she will take those lies straight to court during the divorce. I would run and run as fast as you can. Best not to have any more contact - last thing you want is a trumped up restraining order against you.


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## jeepmanw518 (Nov 30, 2009)

i gave her three choices for our date night go see Grease, go rock climbing, or to a comedy club and she picked going to see grease. I think she will really enjoy it.


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## Inafog (Jan 21, 2010)

Dude, run. Run as fast as you can! Something isn't right. Is she just screwing with your mind? I understand you still love her, but, something just doesn;t seem right.


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## allisterfiend (Sep 29, 2011)

Being in love is hard when the one you love drives you to disguising who you are and having to spy on them. (where do you think Allisterfiend came from allister friend on facebook)

The basic issue is trust. She made you loose your trust in her to where you had to stoop to hiding yourself. And in dong so, you discovered the truth on what kind of person she really is. (Not a very good one)

You are worried if she can pay half the bills? Do you really think she worries like that about you?

Get back on that diet site and print out your "conversations" about the other men and offer her them as evidence. She will naturally become furious for them, but deep down she will be mad at herself because she was so stupid.

She is such a replaceable liar. I would take 10 seconds to toss her out of my life, and then forget her forever in the next 5.

:BoomSmilie_anim: some people just need killing.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

ughh....


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## LadyGemma (Oct 4, 2011)

No, you do not confront her about the other man, you just move on and find a women who isn't a nut case!

Ps: Ajs are hot lol


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

This thread is like a hundred years old.


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