# Toddler son playing with his toddler sister's toys/belongings over his



## Cherry

I know that there is nothing wrong with this, but are you ever suppose to steer him in the direction of his little boy toys over, say, putting his sisters dress up shoes on? Or is this simply child's play? A few weeks ago my H snapped at him for wearing his sisters girly dress up shoes, I in turn snapped at my H for not letting him just play with her. Is there a line that needs to be drawn? 

AND A SIDE NOTE: I dated a cross dresser once, and as much as I tried to understand it, in the end it was just not something I was willing to tolerate anymore and we split up. Do you think there is any correlation in this child's play, even at this age? Thanks!


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## Almostrecovered

nope, it's fine, my boys played with play kitchens and their cousins barbies and now I can't tear them away from their xbox and nerf guns and footballs. Toddlers show very little gender assignment.


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## COGypsy

:iagree:

It's all about the sensory stuff for toddlers. Dress up shoes make a cool noise when they clomp across the floor. They are frequently bright, feathery or sparkly. Something else will be just as interesting next week. Especially if you aren't making it that much more interesting by making it a big deal.


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## Cherry

Okay, that's what I thought, just checking


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## Lon

it has never bothered me, in fact I've always felt that making a big deal of it probably does more harm than just letting them play it out. (though it can be embarrasing FOR ME especially around many other dad's who are so dang homophobic)


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## Cherry

Lon said:


> it has never bothered me, in fact I've always felt that making a big deal of it probably does more harm than just letting them play it out. (though it can be embarrasing FOR ME especially around many other dad's who are so dang homophobic)


That's why I think I snapped at my H for snapping at him... Didn't really want to make a big deal out it. He asked me why stop there, why not let him wear girly clothes to preschool if he wanted... My H gets so extreme sometimes


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## Hope1964

My boys both used to LOVE wearing nail polish and playing with dolls. Neither of them has any gender confusion whatsoever now that they're 22 and 20


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## Cherry

Hope1964 said:


> My boys both used to LOVE wearing nail polish and playing with dolls. Neither of them has any gender confusion whatsoever now that they're 22 and 20


I totally forgot about the polish in my OP... That too, we do the clear polish if he pushes for it. He has come home from a relatives house with purple, pink, blue whatever and H has a fit over it. I guess I just compromise with that, so long as H doesn't react to his playing with girl toys, I let him be firm on the polish.


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## Lon

yeah my 4 year old loves pink nail polish - his mommy is an esthietician and at the end of the day he'd go sit at her table and she'd put on the kids polish (the kind that peels off after!!) he's always pick pink... the best part is as soon as it dries he picks it off. Also for awhile he was into green (which is easier to handle than pink for some strange reasons  )


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## Hope1964

I was a single mom when they were little, which was good in that respect  One of them used to also want to wear nylons all the time. I would wear them for work, and he would rub his hands up and down my legs because he LOVED the feel of them, and he'd ask me if he could wear them. I always told him they wouldn't fit him. THAT was kind of weird!


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## DoYouWoo

As a man whose sisters used to put make up on him, and enjoyed it immensely, and his now married with 2 boys, I can safely say you have nothing to worry about - boys love exploring and trying new stuff, let them be innocent for a while longer before we start stipulating what's a girls-thing and what's a boys-thing to like.


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## Cherry

Okay, so where do you draw the line? This article titled "Mommy, Will You Paint My Nails!" has a Dads really good point of view about NOT wanting his young son to wear nail polish. IMO he makes some really strong points. I'm attaching the link. Any thoughts?
Thou Shall Not Whine: Mommy, Will You Paint My Nails?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma

He`s fine all boys do this just like girls will play with boy things.
Explain to your husband he needs to chill or he`ll traumatize the kid.


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## Mindful Coach

Let him do what he wants, he's not hurting anyone. My son had barbies, has worn nail polish, dressed in drag once or twice just for the heck of it. At 22 he's perfectly adjusted, has tons of friends, successful, and the ladies love him as much as he loves them.


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## Cherry

I know tacoma, this disagreement has been going on for several weeks, I asked him to find something supporting his fears... he did and I just wanted to get y'alls thoughts so the argument can continue in my home. Just Kidding ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cherry

Thanks Mindful, I'm working on my H and his feelings on this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper

I see nothing wrong, he's too young to really understand the gender issues along these lines, let him play with what he wants and be happy he's occupied for a while.

True story....when I was probably 8 or 9 my oldest brother who was then in his late twenties caught me and my buddy leaving the house with some of my sisters dolls, man he about beat our butts and called us every name in the book, he was scary big too. We couldn't even defend ourselves, if we would have told him we were taking the dolls to the gravel pit to bury them in cave ins he would have for sure whipped us! And then my old man would have had a go at us!


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## Marv

My cousin loved wearing girls' clothes when he was little. He even had long hair. Now, he's causing issues because he has two "wives." Your toddler playing with his sister's belongings isn't necessarily an indication of future gender issues.


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## Cherry

Last week H actually sent me a cute pic of sissy and brother each sporting a pair of her dress up shoes. After his initial over reaction a few weeks ago, he's let it go. I'm a Google person in that I pretty much Google everything . H seems to understand his son dressing up now is not an indication of his future preference to cross-dress. I still agree to stop at nail polish though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rose122

Yes even my son play with barbie dolls and he love to apply pink color nail polish..Its nothing wrong if kids play with dolls..


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## Laureen

I have 5 daughters, 1 son. Naturally, with so many girls in the house (2 are older than my son) my son grew up playing with the girls... Patty cake, hop scotch, jump rope, wearing princess dresses and shoes, wearing make up, helping the girls put on their make up. They used the toy kitchen set together. 

The girls also played with dirt and trucks (though it was usually the other way around). My husband expressed concern often in the beginning but I would say, "Oh, so you would not love him if he discovers he is gay? Would you be disappointed? Would you turn him out? Would you not love him just as he is?" My biggest concern was that my husband would implant '****-phobic' behavior in our son. He learned to let it go in order that he not harm our son with prejudice. 

Today, my son is a sensitive young man. He is 18 years old, in the Navy, he puts the seat down. He will defend his sisters against anyone. He works out, opens doors for people, he is courteous and good natured. He can cook like nobody's business! He is a great organizer and he has great fashion sense. He is so very good to his GF. 

You have nothing to worry about! But, if you and H are really bothered by it then there are things to do to make you both feel better!! Let him watch you and dad interact as husband and wife/mother and father. Gentle, loving touching in front of the kids. A little kiss here and a little kiss there, cuddling on the couch, chivalrous behavior from Dad, etc... He can watch dad shave and he can help dad wash the car and change the oil. 

In the end, there is NOTHING that can do or not do, allow or not allow that will 'cause him to be gay or transgender or bisexual, etc..." He is going to be however he was BORN to be. Nothing you or hubby can do will affect that. But you can both cause great harm by teaching prejudicial attitudes intentionally or not!


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## supermommy123

I think it’s perfectly fine when kids especially boys play with girls toys or use to like their dresses. It's not always a cross dresser things that comes out of this situation. Sometimes because of better understanding of boys with girly stuff makes them respectable towards women.


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