# Would you marry someone who couldn’t orgasm?



## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

This isn’t about me. I saw this someplace else where this guy is going to marry his girlfriend although she’s never ever had an orgasm with him or apparently by herself. But she says she likes sex with him.

Would you marry her anyway?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> This isn’t about me. I saw this someplace else where this guy is going to marry his girlfriend although she’s never ever had an orgasm with him or apparently by herself. But she says she likes sex with him.
> 
> Would you marry her anyway?


If she is happy with the situation, then what does it matter? The key is both of them being satisfied in the marriage.

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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

If she wants to orgasm, she can learn.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> If she is happy with the situation, then what does it matter? The key is both of them being satisfied in the marriage.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


It would matter to me. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that I couldn’t make cum. It would be unfulfilling. Not to mention, once the ring is on her finger and they’ve been married for awhile... what if she gets tired of pretending like she’s enjoying herself?


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

TJW said:


> If she wants to orgasm, she can learn.


He says that she says she can’t learn.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Why do you assume she's pretending?



C.C. says ... said:


> It would matter to me. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that I couldn’t make cum. It would be unfulfilling. Not to mention, once the ring is on her finger and they’ve been married for awhile... *what if she gets tired of pretending like she’s enjoying herself?*


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> He says that she says she can’t learn.


He's not the medical expert. If this is something she wants to fix, then she should see a doctor, a specialist in such things. It could be nerve damage, or a defect where the nerves never grew/developed.

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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

minimalME said:


> Why do you assume she's pretending?


I don’t know. I guess it’s possible she’s not but how boring for the guy trying to make her cum. The orgasm is the best part.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> He's not the medical expert. If this is something she wants to fix, then she should see a doctor, a specialist in such things. It could be nerve damage, or a defect where the nerves never grew/developed.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Yea, she should see somebody. He’s a nice guy and I can tell it’s bothering him. He’s second guessing himself and the wedding.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> I don’t know. I guess it’s possible she’s not but how boring for the guy trying to make her cum. The orgasm is the best part.


For you, maybe. I could just as easily ask why would someone want to be with a person who didn't enjoy flogging? The squeals are the best part.



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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> Yea, she should see somebody. He’s a nice guy and I can tell it’s bothering him. He’s second guessing himself and the wedding.


If he is already distrusting her to tell the truth, then that is more of an issue than the inability to orgasm.

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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> For you, maybe. I could just as easily ask why would someone want to be with a person who didn't enjoy flogging? The squeals are the best part.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Yes, for me. It’s the best part. I love allll the parts. Every single part of it. The screaming, the panting, the role playing, the orgasm. I just wouldn’t marry anybody that I couldn’t make cum. Was wondering if anybody else would. I guess they would.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> If he is already distrusting her to tell the truth, then that is more of an issue than the inability to orgasm.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


I didn’t say that. He _believes_ her when she said she can’t cum. So I’m not sure what you mean.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> Yes, for me. It’s the best part. I love allll the parts. Every single part of it. The screaming, the panting, the role playing, the orgasm. I just wouldn’t marry anybody that I couldn’t make cum. Was wondering if anybody else would. I guess they would.


It's all about the individuals' involved tastes. I don't get why anyone would want to do scat okay, but it's a thing. Just because it's not in our lexicon, doesn't mean it's not a valid thing.

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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> I didn’t say that. He _believes_ her when she said she can’t cum. So I’m not sure what you mean.


Sound like he's not believing her when she says she is enjoying sex with him. What is he second guessing about otherwise?

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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Hmmm yessss I guess you’re right. He’s second guessing her pleasure. Nah, I mean if it works for them, that’s their thing. I was just curious who else would be ok with it. @maquiscat so you would be ok with it?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

C.C. says ... said:


> Hmmm yessss I guess you’re right. He’s second guessing her pleasure. Nah, I mean if it works for them, that’s their thing. I was just curious who else would be ok with it. @maquiscat so you would be ok with it?


Being open as well as poly, if being able to make another orgasm was important to me, I'd have to option of having Ms. No Orgasm as well as someone who can. But in the end I try for her pleasure. If that means she's sated despite no orgasm, then I did my job, and likely had a good time doing it.

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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Ok. Thanks for your answers.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I married a woman who is for all intents and purposes unable to orgasm with me. It's happened twice in 26 years together, both times via toys, and those are FAR from a sure thing. She's talked to a doctor a couple of times, but never really pursued it, and the doctors gave her half-assed responses.

It does wear on me and I'm sure it wears on her, however she doesn't like to talk about sex so who knows. I do believe it's contributed to our currently sexless marriage.

We're each others' first and only's so neither of us has anything to compare it to, however I think we've both come to the conclusion that it's just not good for either of us.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Fozzy said:


> I married a woman who is for all intents and purposes unable to orgasm with me. It's happened twice in 26 years together, both times via toys, and those are FAR from a sure thing. She's talked to a doctor a couple of times, but never really pursued it, and the doctors gave her half-assed responses.
> 
> It does wear on me and I'm sure it wears on her, however she doesn't like to talk about sex so who knows. I do believe it's contributed to our currently sexless marriage.
> 
> We're each others' first and only's so neither of us has anything to compare it to, however I think we've both come to the conclusion that it's just not good for either of us.


Oh wow I’m sorry! 🥺 That doesn’t sound fun at all. I guess there’s no chance she would let you seek it elsewhere?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> Oh wow I’m sorry! 🥺 That doesn’t sound fun at all. I guess there’s no chance she would let you seek it elsewhere?


I wouldn't want to. I'm one of those that closely associates sex with emotions and I know that going outside the marriage would be the end of the marriage--something I'm not looking for at least until my kids are older.

I'm more than willing to work on things with her, but I'm done with being the only person doing the work.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I understand. It’s gotta be a tough spot to be in. I think that’s why my friend is a little leery trying to marry her with this problem already apparent.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> I understand. It’s gotta be a tough spot to be in. I think that’s why my friend is a little leery trying to marry her with this problem already apparent.


At the very minimum, your friend needs to have some very frank discussions about it with her. Maybe even some pre-marriage counseling with that as the topic.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I agree. And he really needs to think this through. Some little part of me is thinking that she says she’s enjoying it now to be accommodating and to become his wife. But how much fun is sex going to be when she’s not having an orgasm- EVER. I mean, I guess it could feel good to her in a way but I struggle with how she can get all worked up and not finish? Does she even get worked up?


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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

I would need to see a photo of her first.


Kidding. Buddy of mine married his 2nd wife when they were both in their late 40's. She had never had an orgasm before. Blew my mind, but I guess it does happen.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

C.C. says ... said:


> He says that she says she can’t learn.


I'd say that unless medically prevented she should be trying all the time.

The fact she says "she can't learn" is a bad sign. 

The fact she's NOT saying she hasn't so far but wants to keep trying is potentially indicative of other problems. 

Just me. Maybe yes, maybe no, but it's not something to take as face value and checking off as never going to be an even larger problem later.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Heyyyyy I was just thinking though ... I bet a lot of guys would be pretty satisfied with her at least being accommodating and saying she likes it?? Instead of just saying “No”. 🤔 

But it still seems like that would change down the road. Especially if she’s not reaching the full potential of the sex.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> Heyyyyy I was just thinking though ... I bet a lot of guys would be pretty satisfied with her at least being accommodating and saying she likes it?? Instead of just saying “No”. 🤔
> 
> But it still seems like that would change down the road. Especially if she’s not reaching the full potential of the sex.


My wife would accommodate, but I'm just not willing to push the matter anymore. It's not worth it for me to constantly initiate unsatisfying sex. Accommodation is not the same as participation or enjoyment.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Fozzy said:


> My wife would accommodate, but I'm just not willing to push the matter anymore. It's not worth it for me to constantly initiate unsatisfying sex. Accommodation is not the same as participation or enjoyment.


It would be something to get in writing and notarized, for when the problems get worse.

Maybe a prenup sex warranty. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Fozzy said:


> My wife would accommodate, but I'm just not willing to push the matter anymore. It's not worth it for me to constantly initiate unsatisfying sex. Accommodation is not the same as participation or enjoyment.


See, that’s what I think too. (That it would seem unsatisfying.)


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> See, that’s what I think too. (That it would seem unsatisfying.)


For me, it's more than unsatisfying. It makes me feel awful about myself.


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## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

I think too many guys focus only on their orgasm and not their woman's. Some guys can have one really quickly, whereas it takes most women a while. The old microwave vs stove comparison. I also think the easiest way for a woman to have an O is through oral sex, which some guys don't like to do since they get nothing out of it. Topic for another thread I guess.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Dadto2 said:


> I think too many guys focus only on their orgasm and not their woman's. Some guys can have one really quickly, whereas it takes most women a while. The old microwave vs stove comparison. I also think the easiest way for a woman to have an O is through oral sex, which some guys don't like to do since they get nothing out of it.


This lady I’m talking about, the fiancé says that she has never ever had one. Either by herself or with a man.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Fozzy said:


> For me, it's more than unsatisfying. It makes me feel awful about myself.


See, IMO this is how some affairs happen. It’s not always cut and dry. People are quick to blame the man or woman for straying but some needs and desires just can’t be put on the back burner forever.

And believe me, there’s women out there that would like nothing more than to satisfy those needs of a man long gone without sex. Or a man for a woman, I guess. Nothing more exciting than a thirsty sex partner.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

No, I would not. How good can sex be for her? It seems like she could easily lose interest in sex without the motivation of an orgasm. I would not risk being in a marriage that seems likelier than most to become sexless.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> See, IMO this is how some affairs happen. It’s not always cut and dry. People are quick to blame the man or woman for straying but some needs and desires just can’t be put on the back burner forever.
> 
> And believe me, there’s women out there that would like nothing more than to satisfy those needs of a man long gone without sex. Or a man for a woman, I guess. Nothing more exciting than a thirsty sex partner.



Maybe. For me, I'm not looking to trade one source of guilt for another. It's easier now that i'm getting older and the "urges" aren't as intense anymore. It takes more to stoke my fire now, so I just don't stoke it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yes of course if they were right for me and we loved each other.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yup.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I would see it as a challenge.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

No


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

This thinking is really quite surprising to me.

I've only had two orgasms with men - both through oral sex. And they were both pretty weak.

But I have strong, long lasting ones on my own.

Personally, I love sex, (absolutely adore the penis), and it has nothing to do with my orgasms. I enjoy being creative and pleasing. And there are elements of control and power that I like.

But who knows if I'll ever experience that again. 😂 



Married but Happy said:


> How good can sex be for her?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I'm going to take this down a path that you probably did not intend for this discussion, but I think a lot of guys commit to and marry women that they shouldn't and I think there are a good number of people that should not marry at all. 

I will further say that I don't think any guy should marry until he is at least in his very late 20s, if he is very mature and stable, and probably better if he is into his 30s. I also don't think men should marry until they have had a solid background in dating, have had a variety of relationships ranging from drunken hook ups, casual dates and some fairly stable ongoing relationships. 

I am assuming your "friend" is not very experienced and is grabbing at the chance with one of his GFs. I'm not saying that because he can't get her off. I'm saying that because he is settling for something that is likely going to be a very frustrating, dissatisfying and probably toxic scenario down the road. He's probably considering marrying her because she had sex with him AT ALL. 

It's already a point of contention for them and they haven't even got past the honeymoon stage, haven't had the normal fading of the passion and NRE yet and aren't dealing with mortgages, car payments, kids, poopy diapers, midnight feedings, health issues, middle age, menopause etc etc yet.

She says she enjoys sex now - but what happens after they are married and all those boxes mentioned above start to get checked off? Those things can lead porn stars into dead bedrooms. Is she really going to have a sexual interest in him long term if she isn't getting hers? I may have some good swamp land for you in Arizona if you think she will. 

Let's cut right down to the core here - men enter into relationships for a reliable source of sex with someone that isn't screwing other dudes,,,, a sex partner they can call their own. Yes there are other benefits like companionship, social acceptance and social status, it makes our grandmothers happy and there are some tax benefits and there are a few guys out there that actually do want children. 

But if men knew going into it that sex was not going to be a part of the picture if he were to marry a certain woman, the vast vast majority would opt out on the spot. 

So why is he even considering this knowing full well that there is a very fundamental sexual dysfunction now before the bills and kids and boredom and health issues and declining libido etc have even begun yet? 

He shouldn't be committing to exclusivity or especially a legally enforceable contract like marriage until he is old and mature and experienced and competent enough with dating and relationships and women in general that he has a very active and satisfying sex life and he knows that she is the right choice and has no question at all of their sexual compatibility, chemistry and connection. 

For a lot of average men, this won't be until they are very well into their upper 20s or even 30s and have been with a variety of women in a variety of different types of dating situations and relationships. 

If he marries this gal, there is a very high likelihood that in a handful of years, he will have a couple young children that he would have to pay years and years of child support on, she will either be fat and lazy having quit her job to pop out kids and now has every excuse in the book to not lay a finger on him - or she will be screwing some guy at the gym or her personal trainer because that guy(s) can get her off and your "friend" will be on here whining that he hasn't had so much as a handjob in two years and that divorce "impossible" because it goes against his vows and beliefs and because he has young kids and an unemployed wife that he would have to pay child and spousal support on. 

My advice is hit the gym, get fit, get well groomed and dressed, get squared away with career and finances, get on the dating market and meet and casually date a variety of women in a variety of different situations and get experienced to the point he knows how to consistently please a wide variety of women with multiple techniques and activities and then first decide if he even ever wants to marry at all. 

Then if the answer is yes, he decide who is the hottest and sexiest woman that he has the best sexual chemistry with that he can still bring around his family without shame and who would still be a responsible adult, wife and mother. 

DON'T SETTLE. And never sacrifice sexuality and sexual compatibility at the alter of marriage/relationships. Sexuality is what makes our special someone special and separates our primary relationship from all the rest. 

If you sacrifice sexuality, all you will have to show for it is someone that watches Desperate Housewives and Bachelorette on TV all the time and that is always sick with various aches and pains and gastric disturbances that complains about everything all the time and needs a lot of things and can't kill her own spiders.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

C.C. says ... said:


> Heyyyyy I was just thinking though ... I bet a lot of guys would be pretty satisfied with her at least being accommodating and saying she likes it?? Instead of just saying “No”. 🤔
> 
> But it still seems like that would change down the road. Especially if she’s not reaching the full potential of the sex.


Here's the thing though - if she did really like sex and really wanted to have an active and vigorous sex life.. wouldn't she be putting in good faith effort into addressing the issue and figuring out how to orgasm?? 

Wouldn't she have crossed that bridge before discussing marriage with some guy? 

Let me flip this around and make a similar analogy but with a guy. 

This would be like a guy in his mid-20s and up that lives in his mom's basement and plays video games and hangs with his buddies all day. If he has an education at all it is in philosophy or sociology or psychology or something but he otherwise can barely change a flat tire on a car. 

Now he SAYS he likes to work and SAYS he wants to find a job and SAYS he will get a good job if he marries and needs to support a family,,,,,, but in the mean time he doesn't actually send out resume's, he doesn't fill out applications, and every time someone mentions a job, he has a list of reasons why that job isn't the right fit for him and doesn't fit into his skillset or doesn't pay enough or doesn't have the right hours or the right benefits or his philosophy degree hasn't prepared him for success in it or any one of a hundred other excuses. 

This is basically the same thing, it's lip services and excuses and talk. 

It's the same as our guy with the man-bun above saying he likes to work and will be a good employee but doesn't have the credentials, experience or skillsets to back it up.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> So why is he even considering this knowing full well that there is a very fundamental sexual dysfunction now before the bills and kids and boredom and health issues and declining libido etc have even begun yet?



I know. That’s what I was wondering too. I was shocked when he said that’s how the sex is because he talks so highly of her and he definitely loves her and wants to marry her. But still here he is, questioning that part of it now. I think he’s in denial because he acts like he’s ok with it but some little part of him must wonder what the future holds.

I don’t think they have a date planned for it and they’ve been together 2 years. I always found with my own relationships, 2 years is the make or break point.

We see here all the time about sexless marriages. Just seems like he wouldn’t want to voluntarily go into it knowing the woman can’t have an orgasm. Not with him and not on her own. But he’s telling himself that she enjoys it because she says she enjoys it. I guess she acts like she enjoys it. So he thinks that’s enough maybe. Maybe she does enjoy it since she doesn’t know anything else?

I have no dog in the fight or anything, he’s just an acquaintance mainly. It just made me wonder what other people thought of it.

I really enjoyed reading your point of view!


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Here's the thing though - if she did really like sex and really wanted to have an active and vigorous sex life.. wouldn't she be putting in good faith effort into addressing the issue and figuring out how to orgasm??


I think she has tried things. Vibrators and such. But she just can’t orgasm.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

what happens after X years, when she states matter-of-factly "i never got an orgasm, i am bored, i do not want any sex anymore", and she just walks out of the room?

what do you do then? Hire hookers? Cheat on her? Get a divorce?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

C.C. says ... said:


> I know. That’s what I was wondering too. I was shocked when he said that’s how the sex is because he talks so highly of her and he definitely loves her and wants to marry her. But still here he is, questioning that part of it now. I think he’s in denial because he acts like he’s ok with it but some little part of him must wonder what the future holds.
> 
> I don’t think they have a date planned for it and they’ve been together 2 years. I always found with my own relationships, 2 years is the make or break point.
> 
> ...


One of my best friends was/is a lot like your buddy. He was naive and not very experienced or competent with women and had very very little dating experience or experience with women in general. He is a stereotypical computer engineer nerd. Very skilled with software and circuit boards, virtually no social intelligence or interpersonal skills. 

Anyway, in his mid 20s he meets this train wreck with daddy issues. Even though he is nerd, he is horny like any other dude and since this gal actually talked to him, he wanted to be with her. She has every sexual dysfunction in the book and she also claims to never orgasm either with a partner and she claims she would never touch herself (gasp!) 

He thinks she is all that because she speaks to him and even lets him stick it in her for about 2 days out of the month (I had never heard of 'ovulation sex' then, but that is totally what it was. For a few days out of the month, she would put out, but the 24-25 days of the cycle she literally would not let him put his arm around her or try to hold her hand or anything she'd claim he was a perv just trying to score some poon) 

This goes on for a couple years and she's telling him she isn't going to loosen up and isn't going to be the sexpot he wants because they aren't married and she is a traditional girl and if he wants sex he has to man up and put a ring on it. 

Everyone and their dog told him to run away. But he saw this as his one chance to ever score so he married her. 

They barely had any sex at all the first couple years they were married. About the time he was finally ready to throw in the towel and leave, she said he could do it but it would have to be for procreation as she wanted a child. 

The dumbshot said fine thinking it may take awhile. WRONG, first time he dumps a load she's knocked up and the moment she pee'd on the test strip she told him they couldn't anymore because now she was pregnant and you can't have sex when you're pregnant y'know. 

Fast forward a few years, ( yes I said YEARS) with nothing and he's talking about calling it a day again and she agrees to another session but with the same stipulations as before, it has to be unprotected and she wants another child. 

He was so weak and pathetic and desperate and dumb, that he fell for it again and sure enough, one time was all it took. 

Fast forward several years again, and now she is living in another bedroom and hasn't even spoken to him other than who drops off and who picks up the kids for a couple years. 

He finally velcros back on his balls and files. 

She fights him tooth and nail and calls him every name in the book in front of the court-ordered counselor and the mediators. Even the counselor tells him he was naive and dumb and so desperate that he let her emasculate him. 

They finally do get the divorce. By his own admission, in the 12 years of hell they were married, he estimates they had sex 1-2 handfuls of times. 

This is what your buddy has in store for himself if he stays with this chick. 

My friends X said all the same things to him when they were dating. She said she liked sex. She said she'd have sex. she said it's not him and that she can't orgasm with anyone (likely the truth because after all she is a train wreck with daddy issues) she told him that if they married, she would loosen up and be able to be sexual. she told him if they had kids that would make them a happy family and they would like each other more and be happier. 

talk talk talk talk talk words words words words words that's all it is. There's talk'n the talk and then there's walk'n the walk. 

If she liked sex and was attracted to him and desired him and wanted to be with him sexually, she would either orgasm (if he has the skills to do it) and she would work with him on finding what will get her off of she would seek help and address her issues. 

Otherwise it's just another gal that wants a chump to pay bills, change her flat tires and kill spiders. 
Feel free to cut and paste this and send to your buddy because this is what he has to look forward to.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

C.C. says ... said:


> I think she has tried things. Vibrators and such. But she just can’t orgasm.


can't or won't? 

Think about our philosophy major in his mom's basement. 

He tried to get a job that one time. He filled out an application at Home Depot for a philosopher but they never called him back. 

He tried but they didn't have any open positions in his field of study.


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

I just want to say that if you're a guy on here and judging this girl because she hasn't orgasmed - please don't do that. What it takes for a woman to orgasm is very different - from a man and from woman to woman. It depends on a lot of factors and it's not helped at all when the woman feels judged about it. As a matter of fact, if you judge a woman for not having an orgasm, it's akin to judging a guy for pre-mature ejaculation or ED.

Personally, I've had some times in my life where I didn't orgasm and mostly it had to do with medications I was taking. I felt terrible about it - because my husband would feel like he was letting me down and I was frustrated. When I got off the required meds (temporary), I could orgasm more easily. 

But, also, to tell you what some of you guys already know - and please nobody take this wrong - it can have to do with whether a guy has figured out what ring that particular woman's bell. Unlike men, women are just all over the map as to what makes them orgasm.

Also, even today, women are so, so conditioned to "please your man" - it can be really hard to focus on your own O. Even then, you get the feeling "I have to orgasm to please my man." Seriously, I know this is f'd up but I'm just saying.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

happiness27 said:


> I just want to say that if you're a guy on here and judging this girl because she hasn't orgasmed - please don't do that. What it takes for a woman to orgasm is very different - from a man and from woman to woman. It depends on a lot of factors and it's not helped at all when the woman feels judged about it. As a matter of fact, if you judge a woman for not having an orgasm, it's akin to judging a guy for pre-mature ejaculation or ED.
> 
> Personally, I've had some times in my life where I didn't orgasm and mostly it had to do with medications I was taking. I felt terrible about it - because my husband would feel like he was letting me down and I was frustrated. When I got off the required meds (temporary), I could orgasm more easily.
> 
> ...


I know I probably come off sounding overly harsh. But I’m really not judging her because she doesn’t orgasm. Even though I am a guy that is usually hornier than a 3-balled billy goat, there have been instances where I wasn’t able to finish (even though I was at attention) and I’m sure if you did a poll, there would be a good number of men that have not always orgasmed in every instance of sex as well. 

So I’m not judging the lack of orgasm in and of itself. 

And yes, women in general have more complexities and moving parts and more detailed and complicated launch sequences.

Where I am coming from in my posts are two-fold. 

One is, what is she doing to address the situation? Is she trying toys and lives and various lotions and potions? Is she exploring with him various activities and techniques and positions to see if they can find what works for her? Is she seeing doctors and therapists etc to see if the problem can be determined and remedied?

Or is does she say she can’t orgasm and tell him to hurry up and then jumps up and starts another load of laundry?

Is she just brushing off the issue but wanting to move forward with a marriage?

My other issue is with him.

You are very correct that much of a woman’s orgasmic capacity falls on the man and many men are not skilled and competent lovers, especially men naive and desperate enough to marry when there is a fundamental sexual dysfunction in the marriage.

What is HE doing to improve and expand his skill sets and abilities to please her and why is he stumbling into a possible marriage with blinders on that there is a fundamental crack in the foundation of this relationship?

Why is he willing to move forward with a relationship when one of the primary criteria for a man to be in a relationship is not intact? 

They BOTH need to wake up and take notice.

This woman needs to address her issues whether it be physical, mental or lack of compatibility and chemistry with him.

And he needs to man up and accept his masculinity and sexuality and not sacrifice his sexuality to have a woman that talks to him.

He needs to improve his prowess and skills and abilities and if he simply can’t “ring her bell” (your term) then he needs to determine if he can live without a critical criteria of a relationship for a man and have the giblets to let her go and get back on the market and obtain more experience and capacity with women.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Yes, I would. I think that too many people these days prioritize sex too much in favor of other things, like loyalty and commitment. I think that is one of the reasons more relationships fail.

With that said, I do think that being with a woman that could not orgasm would be somewhat unfulfilling for me from a sexual standpoint. I don't even particularly enjoy being with those ladies that are considered challenging, since I prefer sex to be fun and not something that resembles work. That's just me. However, for the right girl, I would overlook that issue in our relationship, if I was forced to make that choice.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Enigma32 said:


> Yes, I would. I think that too many people these days prioritize sex too much in favor of other things, like loyalty and commitment. I think that is one of the reasons more relationships fail.
> 
> With that said, I do think that being with a woman that could not orgasm would be somewhat unfulfilling for me from a sexual standpoint. I don't even particularly enjoy being with those ladies that are considered challenging, since I prefer sex to be fun and not something that resembles work. That's just me. However, for the right girl, I would overlook that issue in our relationship, if I was forced to make that choice.


Read your own statements. 

You state that you want sex to be fun and fulfilling and would not prefer someone that is even challenging to satisfy, yet you turn around and say that if you were “forced” to be with someone that couldn’t/wouldn’t, that you would. 

This is what I mean above when I talk about people settling and sacrificing sexuality on the alter of relationships/marriage.

Sexuality should not be the sacrificial lamb. 

It’s hard for me to put into clear words but people should not allow themselves to be in a position where they sacrifice their sexuality for fear of dying alone being eaten by their cats. 

If a man takes care his physical fitness and appearance, financial stability, social status and social skills and interpersonal skills, he should not be in a position where he has to settle for a sexually dysfunctional and inhibited woman. 

Women too if they can embrace and accept their sexualities and embrace that they are sexual beings and that sexuality is a valid part of their being, they would be more likely to address and correct their sexual issues and be able to engage in an active and satisfying relationship.

Sexuality should not be what people sacrifice and should not be where they cut corners.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> It’s hard for me to put into clear words but people should not allow themselves to be in a position where they sacrifice their sexuality for fear of dying alone being eaten by their cats.


I'm so glad I don't own any cats.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Feel free to cut and paste this and send to your buddy because this is what he has to look forward to.


I was halfway through your reply and I said “oh wow I really need to send him this!” And then I see this. 😁👍 Good advice!!


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## Donny69 (Sep 12, 2020)

I don't think we know enough to rule out marriage here. I'd suggest that perhaps what we don't know about her is that she's morally opposed to masturbation, birth control, and premarital sex. If that's the case then the problem for her could simply be that she isn't able to _relax_. 

But yeah, if worry/relaxation isn't the cause- that could be bad. I don't think we should rush to assume this is an arousal or physical problem without more info.

On a personal note, I'm glad I didn't run away from my wife when she said she'd never orgasmed from intercourse when we met. This happens regularly and sometimes even quickly now. I think it is primarily her being relaxed and comfortable with me but I may have learned a few tricks of the trade along the way lol.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

The more I read you guys replies the more I’m thinking about what you’re saying as far as maybe she isn’t relaxed with him. But they’ve been together 2 years. I think it’s so odd that she can’t even have one on her own either. Or that’s what she says anyway. Maybe it isn’t easy to have an orgasm with just him penetrating her.

Took me forever too to figure out how to get it done (with a man) and it mainly took me touching myself someway somehow during it. I just remembered that. Maybe I’ve been too harsh on her. But still... I wouldn’t marry a guy that couldn’t cum. It would be so one sided and empty. But like someone said above (I forgot who too lazy to scroll) maybe he doesn’t care if she has an orgasm as long as he does. But ... then I’m back at square one to isn’t she going to get tired of pretending and cut him off entirely?

(ignore me ...my minds all over the place and that was a train wreck in real time post.)


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## Donny69 (Sep 12, 2020)

I’m still not sold on tossing the lady out. Maybe she isn’t in to masturbation and also isn’t real comfortable having sex with a man who isn’t committed to her... If I was worrying about having some dudes baby I might not orgasm either lol.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

No, she’s committed. That was a different thread? Hahahaha if I had a buck for all the sexless marriages threads, I could probably buy myself ... something _really really _ nice. (Which is sad regardless of how many times I said haha)


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

C.C. says ... said:


> The more I read you guys replies the more I’m thinking about what you’re saying as far as maybe she isn’t relaxed with him. But they’ve been together 2 years. I think it’s so odd that she can’t even have one on her own either. Or that’s what she says anyway. Maybe it isn’t easy to have an orgasm with just him penetrating her.
> 
> Took me forever too to figure out how to get it done (with a man) and it mainly took me touching myself someway somehow during it. I just remembered that. Maybe I’ve been too harsh on her. But still... I wouldn’t marry a guy that couldn’t cum. It would be so one sided and empty. But like someone said above (I forgot who too lazy to scroll) maybe he doesn’t care if she has an orgasm as long as he does. But ... then I’m back at square one to isn’t she going to get tired of pretending and cut him off entirely?


Honestly I give her credit for telling the truth about it. Most women just fake it. So I am not sure what you think she is pretending? That she enjoys it? Sex without orgasm does feel great. And if you have never had one you really don’t have any context for what you are missing out on, so it is still just a great feeling experience. 

I didn’t even know that I hadn’t had an orgasm until I finally had one. I truly believed since it felt great and I had the same great feeling solo as I did with men that indeed that was what an orgasm felt like. Well now I know, and sex without orgasm still feels great.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Bluesclues said:


> So I am not sure what you think she is pretending? That she enjoys it? Sex without orgasm does feel great


I guess you’re right. I don’t know if she’s pretending. She says she’s not. But I think it’s messing with his head that she’s not reaching orgasm. It does feel good up until orgasm but the thought of the orgasm at the end of the yummy sex is what makes me want to initiate the sex, or be really happy when he does. Lol. If I wasn’t having one, and didn’t have the thought of how fantastic it’s going to feel, I doubt I’d be as excited about it. It would be frustrating. But like you said if she’s never had one, maybe it’s enough for her.

I think there’s a lot of people going into marriage without thought to sex. Older people maybe that just dgaf anymore and just want company maybe.

Who knows. Everyone’s different I guess. 

So if you were going to marry someone who was never going to cum, would you do it?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

C.C. says ... said:


> So if you were going to marry someone who was never going to cum, would you do it?


I certainly wouldn't.

Especially because I am married to a woman, who seldom masturbates and never experienced a partnered orgasm until we started sharing sex (which happens very easily including with PIV sex). Since she grew tired of not ever having any orgasms, while her previous sexual partner (who was 12 years older) insisted she was.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Read your own statements.
> 
> You state that you want sex to be fun and fulfilling and would not prefer someone that is even challenging to satisfy, yet you turn around and say that if you were “forced” to be with someone that couldn’t/wouldn’t, that you would.
> 
> ...


It has nothing to do with settling. Are you currently single? I know plenty of single folks that will spend hours talking about how crappy the dating pool is out there. Do you agree? In my experience, there is an abundance of ladies out there that will do whatever kinky crap I wanna do in the bedroom. Honestly, at this point, that has very little value to me. The market is now saturated with girls that wanna smash 24/7. The problem I have seen is, so very few of them are worth dating long term. Most of the single ladies I see either chat on their men, they have a ton of male friends, they're thirsty for attention posting sexy pics on social media, they have very few practical skills around the house, etc. So, as I said, if I found a great, loyal, honest woman that I could count on, and her only real glaring issue was that she could not orgasm, I'd consider that a lucky catch. I don't understand how so many people these days insist on prioritizing sex over literally everything else is surprised when their sexy partner isn't good for much else.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I wouldn't marry a woman who could not orgasm.

It's very lonely in bed when your wife does not orgasm, makes you feel like your eating at a Texas BBQ with vegetarian friends who just get a salad.

I've already experienced a wife who used to squirt, she suppressed it, then used to orgasm, then orgasms went down in frequency and intensity, then none. I sure wouldn't want to start at none. One factor which nudges me towards divorce is that my wife does not orgasm with me.

There are also a few open questions.....

1) Is she in love with someone else who is married or otherwise unavailable, and is settling for this guy.

2) Is she lying, but just marrying this guy for practical reasons. The guy is just too good to let go.

3) Is she attracted to girls.

4) Is this guy just not her type, one comment we hear every so often when a woman has an affair is that she never knew sex could be like that. Indicating that her husband didn't have the combination for her lock.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I wouldn't want to marry someone who couldn't orgasm, probably even if she wanted to work on it because it's not that simple. If someone can't orgasm then they have some sort of issues whether that's physical, trauma, upbringing, etc. I've dealt with enough of those issues and I wouldn't want to do it again if I didn't have to. Some people would be fine with their partner not having orgasms but I'm not. It ****ing sucks and it factored into killing my sex drive. I haven't had sex with my wife since April (unrelated circumstances) and quite frankly, I don't miss sex with her at all. It shouldn't be like that. 

Guys shouldn't see it as a "challenge". That's foolish and leading to a false sense of hope. They should be seeing it as the ****ty, ****ty reality with no expectation or hope of it changing.


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## Nic2020 (Sep 24, 2020)

There's just not enough information surely?
Id be looking for answers before committing I think.
Is it a medical thing, have they ever had one, are there any underlying issues/beliefs/causes..
For me I'd just slow things down for both of us and try to get to the bottom of it. It's not an ego thing, I'd just like to know I was making someone happy and fulfilled for their sake.. if after trying to find the answers they were happy with the situation then I'd think about marriage but make sure we could both live with it first.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

C.C. says ... said:


> This isn’t about me. I saw this someplace else where this guy is going to marry his girlfriend although she’s never ever had an orgasm with him or apparently by herself. But she says she likes sex with him.
> 
> Would you marry her anyway?


LOL...I'll just *bet* she's "never had an orgasm." She left out the words "with *you*" when she told him that. 
🤣


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## Hungryman (Aug 11, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> This isn’t about me. I saw this someplace else where this guy is going to marry his girlfriend although she’s never ever had an orgasm with him or apparently by herself. But she says she likes sex with him.
> 
> Would you marry her anyway?


HELL NO. Lesson learned the hard way ...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Please. If she's telling the truth and this guy is pleased with her, of course he should marry her.

Mrs. Conan has never had an orgasm from piv with anyone though she has come pretty close with me.

She still fing loves it and loves my penis.

She can't take her eyes off it when I'm unclothed and she often initiates after seeing it even though it has never brought her to climax.

She absolutely loves being penetrated by me and gasps in passion as her head tilts back with eyes closed and mouth wide open in ecstasy.

There is a lot more to sex with a woman than an orgasm.

If she says she can't, so what?

It is still pleasurable and satisfying and maybe, after being with a man that loves her for years, they might just figure her out?


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

I would marry someone who couldn't orgasm. If the relationship were loving, supportive and great in other ways. I don't see orgasm as the end-all of sex or sex as the end-all of marriage. There's so much more to it. 

Now I'm 57. I don't know that I would have said this at 27 or 37. I don't have the sex drive I once did. I look back on relationships where the sex was hot and heavy, at least for a time, and I wouldn't want to do any of them again. My priorities have changed. For the last ten years I've been very happily married. My wife orgasms just fine but we don't have sex often. Not for lack of love or even interest. Just that with caring for our son, who has type one diabetes, so she's acting as his pancreas through the night, there's a lot of sleep deprivation. I care about her and wouldn't want to make her more sleep deprived than she already is. And it's fine. Again, it helps that I'm 57 and my libido isn't what it once was. 

When I look back on my life, the sex that I remember most fondly was the most loving and connected sex. Not the swinging from the chandelier variety, though I've had both kinds of experiences. The hot stuff was all about the moment and then it was gone. Blown away like dust. The orgasm happens and there's nothing left of it. The sex that's built on a foundation of love creates more love. So if I were young, knowing what I know now, I'd just choose the love. If that meant spending my entire life with one woman, that would be fine so long as the love was strong. That's so much richer to me than empty orgasm. Orgasm plus love is wonderful but if I can't have both, I'd be fine with just the love.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Probably not. It would creep slowly between both of us, wether we want it or not , there would be resentments, rejections, on both sides.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Please. If she's telling the truth and this guy is pleased with her, of course he should marry her.
> 
> Mrs. Conan has never had an orgasm from piv with anyone though she has come pretty close with me.


I think she can not orgasm at all, not just from PIV. At least that's what I understand from the post?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

WandaJ said:


> I think she can not orgasm at all, not just from PIV. At least that's what I understand from the post?


And may be true, likely just hasn't spent enough time experimenting to see what floats her boat.

For some reason that's deep seated.

Why a woman won't spend alone time unlocking her own mysteries she could the share, is honestly beyond me. I truly don't understand that barring medical issues.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Adding to my previous post, that even IF she loves sex and it IS sustainable, her inability to orgasm (with me, at least) would be very unsatisfying (to me), and so I would not marry her.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> I think she can not orgasm at all, not just from PIV. At least that's what I understand from the post?


I know but I was pointing out how much a woman can enjoy sex without an orgasm.😊


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I know but I was pointing out how much a woman can enjoy sex without an orgasm.😊


to the point. But eventually she will go for one. Can you imagine if she never had an orgasm? wouldn't you start feeling frustrated, or resentful, ?


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> I will further say that I don't think any guy should marry until he is at least in his very late 20s, if he is very mature and stable, and probably better if he is into his 30s. I also don't think men should marry until they have had a solid background in dating, have had a variety of relationships ranging from drunken hook ups, casual dates and some fairly stable ongoing relationships.


What about for women? What do you think women should do in this regard?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

GC1234 said:


> What about for women? What do you think women should do in this regard?


Pretty much the same in basic principle, but there are a few differences between the girls and the boys.

- women tend to mature and get themselves squared away a little earlier on average. 

- women often reach their peak of attractiveness and desirability to men in their early to mid 20s and have the most mate-selection options and opportunities at that age.

-whereas many men do not reach their peak market value to women until later. 

- in other words, a typical 21 year old woman will have way more options and opportunities in mate selection than will a typical 21 year old man so women can choose from a larger pool of suitable mates at an earlier age than can a man.

Now in terms of maturity, stability, education/training, self-supporting career etc etc. IMHO this things apply pretty much equally to women. 

Just because a woman in her early 20s ‘can’ select a decent mate and marry at that age, doesn’t necessarily mean that she should. 

Historically society has been ok with women marrying young without established education/training and without stable, self-supporting careers provided her husband had those things.

I personally do not agree with that concept however because I think that is what leads us to these topics such as this thread - women marrying men they aren’t actually attracted to for money and support and Beta males marrying women that talk to them and thinking they can win them over and make them desire them by being nice and supportive. 

With economic stability and self-sufficiency, women can choose mates that they are actually attracted to and desire and not have to settle for those that will support them. 

Will that leave out the weaker and less suitable males? - yes.

In no species of the animal kingdom to all males mate and breed.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan has never had an orgasm from piv with anyone though she has come pretty close with me.
> 
> She still fing loves it and loves my penis.
> 
> ...


I’m assuming from your wording that she does orgasm through other means.

That is a far cry different than not orgasming at all.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I’m not sure anyone has come right out and said this yet but it deserves to be stated - we live in a free society where any legal adult can marry another consenting adult on whatever criteria they do choose. 

And we can also choose to end dating relationships and not marry based on our own criteria as well. 

I ended a relationship with a perfectly decent woman who would have made a perfectly good wife and mother (and she was very orgasmic BTW) because she would never polish her nails, dress in sexy lingerie or finish me orally. 

99.927% of men could probably not have cared less about those things, but they were important to me. 

Conversely, I have been dumped and rejected many times because I am not over 6’ tall. I have been dumped because I didn’t have a flashy car and I have also been dumped because I didn’t drink and party. 

Some guys couldn’t care less if their partner gets off as long as she gets them off. (The question is how long will she do that)

For other guys it is obviously a deal breaker. 

We all have our own opinions on what “should” be a deal breaker or a qualifying criteria, but in the end our opinions on other people’s selection criteria aren’t worth any more that what we charge for them.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WandaJ said:


> to the point. But eventually she will go for one. Can you imagine if she never had an orgasm? wouldn't you start feeling frustrated, or resentful, ?


Nope.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> I’m assuming from your wording that she does orgasm through other means.
> 
> That is a far cry different than not orgasming at all.


And I would have still married her regardless.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I figure I’m not going to say anything to the guy about it nor ask any questions. It’s not my business and I know that. I just mainly wanted to see how you all felt about it. I do feel really bad for him though. Thank you all for the replies. @ConanHub you have some gigantic balls putting your experience with it out there. Glad you’re happy and that it works for you and your lady.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

C.C. says ... said:


> I figure I’m not going to say anything to the guy about it nor ask any questions. It’s not my business and I know that. I just mainly wanted to see how you all felt about it. I do feel really bad for him though. Thank you all for the replies. @ConanHub you have some gigantic balls putting your experience with it out there. Glad you’re happy and that it works for you and your lady.


LoL!

I regularly make Mrs C convulse like she is having a grand mal seizure.

She just doesn't O from PIV. She absolutely loves it though and if that was the most she could do, I wouldn't have hesitated to marry her anyway.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> And I would have still married her regardless.


But I think the general concern here though is how long a woman will stay with a man or how long will she be sexual with a man if she herself is not getting satisfied by him at all. 

You may have married her even if she was anorgasmic, but the real question is how long would she have stayed with you and how long would she continue to be sexual with you or faithful to you?

Your wife may not orgasm via PIV but you still have an active and mutually satisfying sexlife so it’s not really an apples to apples comparison.

It’s easy to say orgasms aren’t that big of a deal - - until someone isn’t having them.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> But I think the general concern here though is how long a woman will stay with a man or how long will she be sexual with a man if she herself is not getting satisfied by him at all.
> 
> You may have married her even if she was anorgasmic, but the real question is how long would she have stayed with you and how long would she continue to be sexual with you or faithful to you?
> 
> ...


If she has never climaxed in her life, she knows nothing else. As long as sex is pleasurable and fulfilling otherwise, it wouldn't be an issue.

I'm also not intimidated at all by what a lot of others would consider deal breakers.

I'm more confident than is probably right and I have never encountered a woman that wasn't pleased with me enough in some way and wanting repeats of the experience.

If Mrs. C had this issue, I still would have married her because I love her and she me.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> If she has never climaxed in her life, she knows nothing else. As long as sex is pleasurable and fulfilling otherwise, it wouldn't be an issue.


Well it was certainly an issue for my wife.

My now 50 year old wife was a late starter in having sex, in part because of significant Catholic baggage that she had (she even hoped to become a nun). Plus very strict Sicilian parents who were old enough, that they saw the 1943 Invasion of Sicily up close and personal, one as an adult and the other as a teen.

My wife relates that she had boyfriends after she left school and marriage proposals and she held all of them off, because it was drummed into her by her father that she was a prostitute if she did anything. She was even scared of masturbating and didn't even know how to get herself off at all either.

So when she was 25, to great relief her father died. So she decided "**** it" I'm not waiting till marriage to have sex, anymore. Then when a divorced man who was 12 years older than her (who she used to work with), expressed his interest in her she was up for it.

Now don't get me wrong she had lots of fun with him (including sex) and was with him for a little while, and doesn't regret being with him (and nor should she). Yet despite his proclamations of skill and experience in the face of her revelation of inexperience and virginity, he couldn't ever get her to orgasm, while she hadn't got herself there either, because of her masturbation hang-ups.

So when it became apparent that she wasn't getting off at all or getting close, though she enjoyed it as such although it wasn't amazing. He set out to get her to orgasm, which devolved into lots of attempts at oral sex on her amongst other things. Yet it didn't matter what he did or tried his techniques were inadequate.

Of which she told him when it didn't work and wasn't shy about saying she hadn't orgasmed. In the face of that he then started to tell her, this had never happened before, every woman he had been with got off etc. Then he started to tell her because she was inexperienced, that she didn't know what an orgasm was. Before going down the path of telling, that her she had orgasmed when she hadn't. Since she was "very wet down there, or flush etc., yet being wet and the like doesn't mean that a woman has orgasmed.

With that happening, she knew she hadn't experienced an orgasm, yet if she was having an orgasm orgasms didn't feel like anything more than a slight tingle that one can get from kissing. Then she started to believe that she was somehow broken down there, and couldn't orgasm at all.

As a consequence of that she settled into sharing sex that was disappointing for her, and being sick of arguing with him about it she started telling him she orgasmed and faking them for his satisfaction. Yet at the back of her mind while fearing she was broken she hoped she wasn't. So resentment grew and all of the fun she shared with him evaporated, as playing with him sexually became a chore where she felt disconnected and just a hole to be used.

So she then asked me out on a date and the rest is history as they say. Where as it turns out my wife found out she orgasms very easily through PIV sex, oral sex, digital sex, dildo sex, and sometimes through PIA sex as well. Plus she found out that vibrators can bring her to orgasm, though she doesn't like them because they mostly make her feel numb instead.

Funnily enough my wife expressed no lack of experience, to me until after we had sex the first time. When I found her a bit clumsy and clueless. Given that she was a year older than me and she asked me out etc., I just presumed she was like me and had been around several blocks.

Of which in the first few days she ended up telling me, she was nervous about giving me oral sex and didn't know what to do. As it turns out years later my wife said she expressed the same to the other guy. Yet both of our reactions were vastly different and saw different outcomes. The other guys approach was to tell her that it was okay and to reassure her that there was no pressure on and on etc., So he didn't get any. Whereas I told her not to worry about it, you're going to get lots of practice, so she did and still does all of the time.

I still think lots of passivity and accommodation, doesn't get one very far when it comes to sharing better sex.

Anyway given that I am aware of my wife's experience which led to resentment and disappointment, even though she didn't know what an orgasm felt like. I would not plough ahead with a long term sexual relationship, with any woman that I couldn't bring to orgasm.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Personal said:


> Well it was certainly an issue for my wife.
> 
> My now 50 year old wife was a late starter in having sex, in part because of significant Catholic baggage that she had (she even hoped to become a nun). Plus very strict Sicilian parents who were old enough, that they saw the 1943 Invasion of Sicily up close and personal, one as an adult and the other as a teen.
> 
> ...


Hahahaha! I'm actually very aware of psychological and religious damage to sexuality. Very interesting path.she had.

I myself wouldn't be put off regardless.

I also believe, barring severe physiological damage or birth defect, all women can climax.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I wouldn't. That's because I've had enough experience with people saying, "That's alright, it doesn't matter." Then later on in an argument or at the end of the relationship, I can imagine the guy "And I never orgasmed anyway." 
Reminding someone "but you said that was ok" doesn't really change things.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

C.C. says ... said:


> This isn’t about me. I saw this someplace else where this guy is going to marry his girlfriend although she’s never ever had an orgasm with him or apparently by herself. But she says she likes sex with him.
> 
> Would you marry her anyway?


I am in somewhat the same situation. I married a woman who can only orgasm by by her own hand, and she says her breasts do nothing for her so there is no use playing with them or sucking on them. She says she started having sex at age 14 and has had over a hundred sex partners and none of them have ever been able to get her off. You just get to live with it and jack off while she gets herself off. Otherwise we are happy with each other, she does oral sex with me and lets me do it to her, but then takes over and does her own thing.


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