# My wife left last saturday



## cbrwheelie (Aug 26, 2010)

So last month my wife and I had a talk about how she wanted to be closer to her family she hated living here because she was so far. I agreed to move with her as well. She told me her grandpa can get me a new job but I would have to get my commercial drivers license so I agreed to go to school for it. About 1 week into this conversation she got a job interview then got a call the next day that she got the job. This is when things got sour between us she told me that she thinks I stopped caring about our marriage, how I dont complement her and so on, I also got the famous I love you but i'm not in love with you. As of right now shes very short with me on the phone and barely picks up my calls. I think i'm still in very much shock as this all came out within a three week time period. I still love her with all my heart and wish to be with her again. Im trying to keep this as short as possible so my question is what are some things I can do to try to regain her love when shes 300 miles away.:scratchhead:


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

How soon before you can join her? Do you think she is seeing someone there? In the meantime read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Since she says you never compliment her, her love language must be "praise". The book will go into great detail in that area--and give you an understanding as to what you must do.


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## cbrwheelie (Aug 26, 2010)

thanks a lot for your reply no i dont think shes seeing anyone. Im not really sure when i can join her again I guess thats when I can regain her love again.


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## cbrwheelie (Aug 26, 2010)

can anyone else chime in and give me suggestions


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

cbrwheelie said:


> can anyone else chime in and give me suggestions


Ask her to be really open and honest with her motivations.

Bob


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

cbrwheelie said:


> This is when things got sour between us she told me that she thinks I stopped caring about our marriage, how I dont complement her and so on, I also got the famous I love you but i'm not in love with you. As of right now shes very short with me on the phone and barely picks up my calls. I think i'm still in very much shock as this all came out within a three week time period.


It is sad to say, as long as I have been on this forum I have not seen this scripted out, even so much the dreaded "love you but not in love with you" that there is not some affair man in the wings.

A woman in an affair will let the affair cloud her memory, things said like "I've never been happy for a long time" etc, and her emotions are disconnected exactly as if one were turning off a lightswitch.




> I still love her with all my heart and wish to be with her again. Im trying to keep this as short as possible so my question is what are some things I can do to try to regain her love when shes 300 miles away.:scratchhead:


To regain her love? This is going to be difficult even without the 300 miles in the way.

What needs to happen, and this is most difficult with the distance, is the stop the affair. 

Until this happens, nothing else is going to improve. 

Enlist the help of friends and family there with your woman, confide in them without any shame what is going on and what you suspect. The good man fighting for his marriage will often have allies he doesn't even suspect, so do this to build your network of support, you will need them. 

Next is to either get yourself to your woman, or your woman back with you. Whatever needs to happen, this must happen soon. 

"Space" with an affair man in the wings is danger danger danger!

This is difficult advice to hear, I know. I wish you well.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Are you close enough with some of her family members or friends to speak with them? I really think there is more going on here. Perhaps someone close to her can shed some light on the situation.


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