# It's time! Any help appreciated!



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

For those who may not know my story, there are a few threads here that outlines the difficulty I've had in dealing with my exWS during and since our divorce. 

Here is my most recent thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/322065-ex-so-vindictive.html 

Here's the story. Today, she was awarded an increased amount of child support but was notified the IRS will probably be pursuing the fraudulant taxes she filed. She didn't like that AT ALL. She tried to argue with the attorney and the judge about it but they both stated it is black and white. 

My reason for this post is for some serious advice. The story will be long but I'm sure there's someone here who's had to deal with something similar. I'm sorry but this is gonna be long!

STORY: For the last 4 years, there have been no overnight visits. The last one was 2 weeks before the ex's niece graduated from high school in 2012. I was notified by my dd on her visit that she would not be coming on my next weekend because they were going to Tennessee for a graduation. During this time, my WS had a bogus RO in place, so I had no means of communicating with her. At that point, she had refused to utilize the 3rd party communication I had set up as a part of Plan B, and still will not to this day. 

Shortly after that, I fell on extreme hard times, being unable to truly care for myself financially. I took a second job and started working 7 days a week. I did that for 2 1/2 years. With my daughter, I began regularly visiting her at school to eat lunch. This progressed to invites to classroom presentations, spelling bees, violin recitals, etc. I've got a folder my phone with years of photos of daughter so for her to say I'm not involved is a BIG LIE. I've made attempts to communicate through a variety of methods with my daughter (never ever once mentioning exWS).On many occasions, the text or FB message was intercepted by the ex, thus never getting to our daughter. 

On a number of occasions, she has denied me access to our daughter when I've tried to visit her at after school programs, etc. because, as she had one of the workers tell me, "All visitation is to be arranged through her!" 

In March 2015, she contacted me via text about arranging a visit. after a few back and forth texts, we came to agreement. After we came to agreement, I sent my daughter a text that said "I hope you heard the good news." The next text I received was from the ex and this is it verbatim because I still have it, "I saw your text to her. Don't tell her about the visit. Because for some reason it doesn't happen it will hurt her. Let's leave adult talk between adults. Not her. If you can't respect that I'm not going to do this." I didn't respond.

At the time of this arrangement, I had no vehicle so the only thing that could happen was ex wouldn't bring her. She texted the week before to verify the visit was still on, and I replied simply "YES". She never showed up!!!

I'm now in a much better position to resume visits now but I'm highly irritated that exWS has lied so often, but I also have come to expect it now. I have now also had enough. I stopped and spoke with the child support attorney after everything was completed today. She sympathized with me (I overheard her and the judge discussing how difficult she was to deal with) and told me to file another contempt petition to start the process. 

Has anyone ever had to deal with something quite this crazy? Anyone have any advise?


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Hi, I will need to read your past posts but for now, does your ex know about the school visits?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Yes, she's been aware from the beginning but she infuriated me today when she told the CS lawyer I'm not involved!!! So I've fabricated the hundreds of pictures I have on my phone! BS!!!


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Slowly reading your past threads and posts. 

What was the outcome of the guardian Ad litem ? 

The outcome of your wife posting a picture of your daughter (at 8?) just in her panties? 

The OM you wrote about in (2015?) was he the OM1 or a later guy? 

Did you finish school?

Are you employed as a minister? 

What faith do you follow? If you are not comfortable posting it could you PM me? It is important because if you desire to live by the teachings of your faith any advise giving needs to be informed by your faith.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Oh, if you chose to respond put @ before my username. So if i wanted to get your attention I would write @marksaysay which generates a you been mentioned message.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

mensdivorce dot com has forums where you might find some useful help. The website used to be called dadsdivorce. Same forums, new name.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

JohnA said:


> Slowly reading your past threads and posts.
> 
> What was the outcome of the guardian Ad litem ?
> 
> ...


 @JohnA

The guardian ad litem told me that my ex had said she would not communicate using the method I set up and tried to get me to set up something with exMIL. I refused.

She also said the picture was no big deal. She said it was just a fun photo that was posted (she had climbed up between the walls in a hallway).

The OM mentioned is someone different.

I did not finish school. I was a basket case and couldn't function very well at that time so I quit going.

I'm an ordained Baptist minister but I've not been in active ministry in a year. I actually stopped attending for a while. My faith in God has been unchanged. It's my faith in the "people of God" that has been compromised. Because I decided to stay in Indiana to be near my daughter, i have no other family within a 500 mile radius. I tried to lean on my church "family" but I've been told God will provide me with support but my church family of 17yrs gives me none. I go to work, church, and home. It's not easy to find something to do when you have limited funds, limited places to go (after getting off work at 8 or 9 oclock 7 days a week), no family, and very few friends.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

So you live life like Job?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Very close! Minus the boils!


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Are you working seven days a week, 12 hour days? What is your normal weekly schedule? 

Does your exWW have sole custody with you getting cribs and drabs? 

The ad litem couldn't she force a compromise with how you and ex would communicate ?


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Found this group after a quick search Divorce recovery support groups in Greenwood, Indiana - DivorceCare
Even if they are not near you they well may know a


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

@JohnA. I'm in car sales so I work 4 days from 9-8 and and 9-6 Saturdays. On the other 2 days, I'm a private baseball instructure usually from 2 or 3 until 8.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

We actually have joint but due to a long period of financial struggles, I was barely able to take care of myself. And when I told the Guardian Ad Litem I would not communicate thru exMIL, she basically told me it was my choice and left it at that.


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