# I need strength...



## ksrasra (Oct 7, 2015)

I know this sounds trivial in the big scheme of things, but iam hurting today. Even though i asked for pictures, my ex sent me pics of a limo picking my two kids and him up to take them to the airport to go to DisneyWorld. He does well and is a good person but i am struggling and today i feel inadequate, jealous, and depressed. I cant afford anything and my life is a disaster and although i am good person and do everything "right', i just feel like a failure. Please give me strength. I feel sad....

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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Your kids are getting a trip to Disneyworld - that is great. Hope that they have a wonderful time.

A limo means nothing - just a way to pay a bit more for a more comfortable taxi. Not a big deal. 

Never use money as a way to compare yourself to others, because there will always be people who have more money than you can possibly imagine (and others with less than you can imagine). There are people who can rent disneyworld for a private party. 

I've at various times in my life had varying amounts of money - it really doesn't have much effect overall on how happy I am.

Enjoy your life.


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## ksrasra (Oct 7, 2015)

I know. And i know better than to whine. Lol. I do know its probably actually cheaper to take a limo from where they are. And i know they will have a blast! But i also know the limo factor amazed the kids and well, the whole trip. I am using the trip as an excuse for me to say that i cant provide that wow factor. I will get over this but it still makes me feel inadequate lol

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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

while you may not be able to provide a WoW factor, you provide the love factor everyday when they are home with you, and in the end it will be those moments sitting around the kitchen table or spending one on one time with them that they will remember most. trips are flash in the pan, day to day life are real events to touch their mind and hearts.


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## ksrasra (Oct 7, 2015)

Thanks everyone. I needed a kick in the pants. 

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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Xenote said:


> while you may not be able to provide a WoW factor, you provide the love factor everyday when they are home with you, and in the end it will be those moments sitting around the kitchen table or spending one on one time with them that they will remember most. trips are flash in the pan, day to day life are real events to touch their mind and hearts.


I agree. Love and quality time is more important that flashy, expensive presents and trips.

It's only a competition with your XH if you allow it to be.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

They may be totally enamored with their dad right now. However, people grow and mature and your children will, too. 

Trust me on this. They will recognize you as a stable, constant, loving force in their lives. The realization might not come today, tomorrow, or next week, but it will eventually. And the love and bond that flows from that realization will make you forget this day. :smile2:

Hang in there.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> They may be totally enamored with their dad right now. However, people grow and mature and your children will, too.
> 
> Trust me on this. They will recognize you as a stable, constant, loving force in their lives. The realization might not come today, tomorrow, or next week, but it will eventually. And the love and bond that flows from that realization will make you forget this day. :smile2:
> 
> Hang in there.


Totally agree with the above.

OP take it from someone that was in a similar situation as a child. When your kids get home show enthusiasm and interest in their holiday, look at their photos and toys, listen to their excitement. That way you will become part of the positive experience with them and that is what they will remember, not who paid for the trip.

Please don't do what my Mum would do and try to bring my Dad down in our eyes. All it did was push us away from her. Not saying you would do this.

I get it that it is hard for you to stand back and watch them go off on a fun adventure but you can be part of that as well simply by being enthusiastic and positive about it.

Chin up, use this time to do something for yourself even if it is simply a movie and manicure night.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

ksrasra said:


> I know. And i know better than to whine. Lol. I do know its probably actually cheaper to take a limo from where they are. And i know they will have a blast! But i also know the limo factor amazed the kids and well, the whole trip. I am using the trip as an excuse for me to say that i cant provide that wow factor. I will get over this but it still makes me feel inadequate lol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G920W8 using Tapatalk


When I hear of a parent that does things like this, and the other parent feels like you do... I tell them to remember the children know what is really going on, who loves them, and who shows love by showering with gifts or trips. Who is there when they are sick? They will remember that. Hold your head up high, you are raising them, don't give ex the satisfaction of upsetting you with the limo pic, that is exactly why he sent it. Don't give him that.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

You know kids really know whats important to them and as their mother you are probably the most important. I read a quote today "A mother is the only one who carries you in her belly for nine months, three years in her arms, and forever in her heart". Material things are fleeting but love is forever. You do the right things, you provide an example of the way to live their life, I would say that no matter how much money you would ever have would be as valuable as that. Your priceless.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You're a MOM!!! It counts for so much more than any limo or trip ever could.

You must be a great one for having such thoughts. 

Ÿour kids are very lucky.

You can sleep well tonight knowing that


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I think you're approaching this the wrong way. They're enjoying themselves with him. Just because you aren't chauffering them in a limo, doesn't mean they won't enjoy themselves just as much with you. I was enormously lucky as a kid and had a chance to do a few things many children will never get to do, like go to the ballet. But you know what memories I treasure most from my childhood? Things like my pretty straight-laced mother climbing on the sled with us when it snowed and going hell for leather down the hill at the park. Then we went inside for hot chocolate. And it felt like she'd handed us the world. Same thing playing Jenga with my Dad. You might want to consider all of the rich and wonderful things you can share with your children. Showing them how much you love spending time with them is a huge gift. It ain't Disneyland, but I guarantee they'll remember it for years to come.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Who said dad's making it a competition? Maybe he wanted to do something nice for his kids? What's wrong with that? It doesn't necessarily mean he's trying to outdo mum or he loves the kids less than she does, or he's trying to buy them.

Why can't memories of both parents be nice to remember when the kids are older? The times both were there to look after them when they were sick, help them with their homework, took them to Disneyland, took them ice skating - why does it matter who does what?

OP if you could take your kids to Disneyland wouldn't you do it? There'll always be things that one parent can do for their kids that the other can't, it doesn't mean either contribution is more or less valuable than the other, it's just different.


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