# How to catch a cheater?



## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Long story, always is right? maybe someone in this forum can help.

9 year in, Ive suspected infidelity before but I believe shes opportunistic, careful.. as barely a hint of evidence in 9 years... toll charges excused away, odometer readings indicating more than just work and back, but never enough.

The current scenario, we didnt have sex for 11 months(ouch), we just signed into buying a house(ouch), if that wasnt enough she puts out once 'one time' in 11 months(July 28th - noted the date in my journal), 5 days later she announces shes prego, yes bit early.. the timing of it with house signing and lack of sex 11 months and 5 days, just ridiculous? So week later I get google message that someone has been attempting access to my account, I look into it its local home address...no biggie, but then the wife says ohh that was me. Hmm I go back to search history and see all her google searches, the one of particular importance is July 4th " irregular bleeding" (her period late), than, July 14 "can I get preg 3 days before my period" then "can I get pregnant 5 days before my period" July 16 dated, "boobs hurt am I pregnant" dates July 18
...... further into it I check recent google autofill text, find about 5 entries for "how do I delete google search".

My thinking is shes been with coworker at work(dental office), got knocked up, intentional or unintentionally, realized her mistake and tried to break into the account to erase search history... oops.

Interestingly, the father inlaw phones week later and mentions her had same email, asked me to help him go through steps to fix it. Theres a history with him, few day earlier go out for dinner makes comment "so what do all day? sleep all day?" opposite is true Im a workaholic if anything. If he is her co counsel, its all about custody child support, family first get the kid and all his money sociopathic mentality. Or maybe im just crazy? I am positive my wife is BPD/NPD.

What I need is to record her at work, but unless it happens at her desk a recording device in the purse or jacket wont work. Like if they use his office or store room ide miss it, bugging the office isnt really possible. 

Any suggestions?

Love to be soo wrong n this


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

It seems you already caught her.

Having evidence only gives you the upper hand in states where there is fault. At least you know to ask for a paternity test. If she is indeed pregnant and tells you it's yours, you can get genetic testing early on, you can also tell from the pregnancy test levels about how far along she is, along with the ultrasound. Be very supportive and lovey dovey about the pregnancy, go to her ultrasound with her, make a show of wanting to be there for the ultrasound to see the baby, and to hold her hand when she has an amnio...you will catch her soon enough. 

If she is pregnant, you need to talk to an attorney about child support/paternity being assumed for children born within a marriage and consider protecting yourself against any contingencies with appropriate legal actions (i.e. divorce, etc.) You may need a fair amount of lead time, so don't wait. 

In any case, you should talk to an attorney who practices in your state to see how evidence will or won't help you. It can become O-C and a waste of energy if it's not going to change your decision or your finances.

It's not CSI, it's just looking out for your bottom line and your day to day.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

5 Days? Negatory.

Tell her you want to know who the father is, you can prove its not yours prior to birth, and you have no intention of supporting it.

As crazy as the laws are, I believe you'll have to support until you're divorced and paternity is proved, though.


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## Binji (Jun 25, 2014)

You knew what type of woman you had before you married her. Dump this broad. The writings on this wall. Stop having sex, and please make sure you get paternity tested. Someone is going to give you the standard TAM script like read a book, don't confront, write a letter, get marriage counseling, get a var, hire a p.i. etc. Skip all the unecesary steps and file for divorce. You dont need a marriage coordinator, you dont need any gadgets, uneccessary books, or paid for advice. You tell her to pack up her bags and hit the road. Its a simple as that. Plenty of fish in the sea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

You can get a pen var from brickhouse security that works great for $99.

If she has it at work you will get something.

What kind of phone does she have?


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

1. Google 'paternity test', 'foetus DNA test', etc and leave the history open so she could 'accidentally' find it
2. Consult with a lawyer so you won't end up as a legal father to a child which is biologically not yours (just in case)

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> You can get a pen var from brickhouse security that works great for $99.
> 
> If she has it at work you will get something.
> 
> What kind of phone does she have?


Go see a lawyer!!
And get the two books that are linked on Chaps page.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Ill look into that thank you, she has a Iphone 4.. was thinking same thing, gps tracking ect..


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

Do you have her iTunes account details / access to an authorised pc? 



belarus said:


> Ill look into that thank you, she has a Iphone 4.. was thinking same thing, gps tracking ect..


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

And now you need an std test.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Great advice, keep my calm....praturnity tests are cheap these days, 3-5 days, little brush and and envelope.. just would be bad move on her part... I guess im looking for the absolute proof, reasonably doubt till proven otherwise. Im thinking the google searches could have been the proof of her planning to set me up, nest building... not sure which is worse.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

The fact you have not had sex in almost a year then out of the blue one time?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Have you ever had a good var in her car?
With lithium batteries.
It will last for days.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

belarus said:


> Great advice, keep my calm....praturnity tests are cheap these days, 3-5 days, little brush and and envelope.. just would be bad move on her part... I guess im looking for the absolute proof, reasonably doubt till proven otherwise. Im thinking the google searches could have been the proof of her planning to set me up, nest building... not sure which is worse.


There is a pre-natal paternity test. It uses some of the mother's blood. YOU can have paternity tested now. 

Prenatal Paternity Test, Prenatal Paternity Testing, Prenatal Paternity Tests


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

tom67 said:


> Have you ever had a good var in her car?
> With lithium batteries.
> It will last for days.


Car var, might be a plan... looking on ebay. Sorry was being ordered around like a dog, apparently I havent done anything today, without using the word useless.. seems a daily theme.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> There is a pre-natal paternity test. It uses some of the mother's blood. YOU can have paternity tested now.
> 
> Prenatal Paternity Test, Prenatal Paternity Testing, Prenatal Paternity Tests


Great link.
Tell her you want one then see her reaction.
Should be priceless though we all hope it's yours just way too many red flags.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> There is a pre-natal paternity test. It uses some of the mother's blood. YOU can have paternity tested now.
> 
> Prenatal Paternity Test, Prenatal Paternity Testing, Prenatal Paternity Tests


Pre-natal paternity yes , would probably have to court ordered, bet they wouldnt even order it as some risk.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

Time to lawyer up and get rid of her quick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Blacksmith01 said:


> Time to lawyer up and get rid of her quick.


In most states a man cannot divorce a pregnant woman.


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## Blacksmith01 (Aug 12, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> In most states a man cannot divorce a pregnant woman.


 well he can still get the ball rolling so that the day that she pushes it out he can be done with her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Turin74 (Apr 11, 2014)

But he can request an urgent paternity test as a part of the proceedings (as soon as there is no medical reasons)

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Feeling defeated, house is in both our names, mortgage and title, utilities are all in my name, car and its loan in my name, negative equity in the house(loss ~20+K if sold). And the big one my innocent 5yo angel is in the house. Financially I cant see a way out, I barely have enough to pay for the house as is, if I walk away I couldnt pay the bills in two places. If I pull the plug, foreclosure will destroy my perfect credit. So what do I do?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

yes, lawyer up. You have evidence to know, atleast for yourself, that indeed she has gotten impregnated by an OM. Sorry you are here. But before you have a pity party take care of the legal business.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Update: day 8 goes for blood preg test, day 9 a negative/inconclusive pregnancy result(>1), I ask if she has used the store bought test, says yes it was negative.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> In most states a man cannot divorce a pregnant woman.


But can he atleast have a legal separation? It would seem very unnusual to me if the state FORCED someone to be in a place of their own free will, without being tried and incarcerated in a court of law.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

belarus said:


> Update: day 8 goes for blood preg test, day 9 a negative/inconclusive pregnancy result(>1), I ask if she has used the store bought test, says yes it was negative.


Either way, she announced she was pregnant, but only after she knew she was late so decided to have intercourse with you to cover her tracks. There are lots of factors that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, but she jumped straight to the worst case scenario (of getting caught betraying you).


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Trust me, if you do find out she has been cheating, bankruptcy is way better than being tied to and living with a lying cheater.

When and how fast did your sex life dropping to nothing?

Her having sex with you was because she thought she was pregnant and wanted you to think it was your.

There are thread here that show you how to get deleted messages from an iphone. I think one program is called Dr Wondershare. Find Gus Polinski's posts he can give you details.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Lon said:


> Either way, she announced she was pregnant, but only after she knew she was late so decided to have intercourse with you to cover her tracks. There are lots of factors that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, but she jumped straight to the worst case scenario (of getting caught betraying you).


What makes me sick is likely its been going on and off entire 9 years, its really hasnt ever been a pleasant relationship, especially last 3 years, just stayed for kid. My minds racing making connections with events of past, which just serves to make me angrier, wasted good years of my life, all ive put up with for what? 

Rant ended, your right, I need a legal plan, know my rights before I do anything, say anything....thats the hard part.as shes not the silent type, or the over nice type, she the worst type... in your face schoolyard bully type.. thrives on conflict.

Lawyer here I come


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

belarus said:


> What makes me sick is likely its been going on and off entire 9 years, its really hasnt ever been a pleasant relationship, especially last 3 years, just stayed for kid. My minds racing making connections with events of past, which just serves to make me angrier, wasted good years of my life, all ive put up with for what?
> 
> Rant ended, your right, I need a legal plan, know my rights before I do anything, say anything....thats the hard part.as shes not the silent type, or the over nice type, she the worst type... in your face schoolyard bully type.. thrives on conflict.
> 
> Lawyer here I come


Uhhh... You need to DNA your kid. Like 5 minutes ago. Yesterday. Last week.

Five years ago!


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Uhhh... You need to DNA your kid. Like 5 minutes ago. Yesterday. Last week.
> 
> Five years ago!


I know, im thinking about the 'work conference' trip she took week before the announced pregnancy 6 years ago, we were trying for a month to have a kid, she basically called me out said it was my fault, few weeks and a conference later, boom prego. I had doubts then.. other events such as she was convinced, accused me of not being at her side in hospital, when I actually never left her side, didnt sleep for days, maintains that opinion to this day. Then she for years after kept reminding me and everyone else 'how much she looks like me', it was beyond normal it was allot, but woman always do that, frequency and timing just seemed odd, enough that I called her out on it. $199 ordering a test kit.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: How to catch a cheater?*



belarus said:


> What makes me sick is likely its been going on and off entire 9 years, its really hasnt ever been a pleasant relationship, especially last 3 years, just stayed for kid. My minds racing making connections with events of past, which just serves to make me angrier, wasted good years of my life, all ive put up with for what?
> 
> Rant ended, your right, I need a legal plan, know my rights before I do anything, say anything....thats the hard part.as shes not the silent type, or the over nice type, she the worst type... in your face schoolyard bully type.. thrives on conflict.
> 
> Lawyer here I come


Now at least you may have a little more insight into why certain needs she could tolerate being unmet in the marriage (both hers and yours), because she was getting them met elsewhere. It demonstrates the kind of trust and loyalty she has, and proves she is generally a dishonest person. It is kind of a big deal isn't it?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Wow.... That really hits close to home. I tested my younger two kids last year. I used DNA Diagnostics I think I paid like 125 for each. I received the test fast and discrete. The result were fast too but honestly it took me two weeks to open them. They sent them via email. My kids are 16 and 13. Thankfully they are mine. I am glad I tested them. I wish you the best on your test. 

I would follow the others advice and get a lawyer and file. No sense wasting another day of your life with a person that will betray you in the worst possible way. 

Move on and find a better woman to spend your time with. 

Clay


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

belarus said:


> I know, im thinking about the 'work conference' trip she took week before the announced pregnancy 6 years ago. $199 ordering a test kit.


You can buy a kit at WalMart or Amazon or most drug stores for $30. You swab the inside of your cheek and the kid's with a Q-tip and mail it off to a lab with about $130 more.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Lon said:


> Now at least you may have a little more insight into why certain needs she could tolerate being unmet in the marriage (both hers and yours), because she was getting them met elsewhere. It demonstrates the kind of trust and loyalty she has, and proves she is generally a dishonest person. It is kind of a big deal isn't it?


Hey better late than never.
But it will drive you crazy if you don't test.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

In the meantime, you need to step back, take a breath, and build yourself a plan for what you want to do. 

I can't figure out why you'd want to be married to and/or buy a house you can't afford with this person, independent of the cheating, but regardless that's where you are. So.. assuming she is not pregnant, and the kids are yours, what are you going to do?

Your OP was about catching her. She's already caught, you know what the deal is. AND you're apparently unhappy anyway. Obviously you both are... so what's next? has there been a confrontation on the facts? Does SHE want the marriage, or is this just the elephant in the room making next steps obvious?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Clay2013 said:


> Wow.... That really hits close to home. I tested my younger two kids last year. I used DNA Diagnostics I think I paid like 125 for each. I received the test fast and discrete. The result were fast too but honestly it took me two weeks to open them. They sent them via email. My kids are 16 and 13. *Thankfully they are mine*. I am glad I tested them. I wish you the best on your test.
> 
> I would follow the others advice and get a lawyer and file. No sense wasting another day of your life with a person that will betray you in the worst possible way.
> 
> ...


At 10 and 6, I would hope that the result of the paternity test doesn't affect your relationship to your kids one way or the other. The whole reason to test them, at this point, is to get a better picture of the reality of who your W really is, and what she has done and is capable of doing. It is simply to get at the truth, and if your kids are not your bioligical offspring I hope you choose to remain just as close to them as you are now, and continue to be the father they need in their life.

The only time a test result should affect a dad, is when they are fisrt born and before there is a bond between baby and daddy established. Though perhaps the more important benefit is that if the biological dad is around he could me made legally to provide child support that would help provide for the children's needs.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

belarus said:


> Feeling defeated, house is in both our names, mortgage and title, utilities are all in my name, car and its loan in my name, negative equity in the house(loss ~20+K if sold). And the big one my innocent 5yo angel is in the house. Financially I cant see a way out, I barely have enough to pay for the house as is, if I walk away I couldnt pay the bills in two places. If I pull the plug, foreclosure will destroy my perfect credit. So what do I do?


If you don't, do you look to raise OM child? I would let everyone go down with the ship. Time to dump and run.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

belarus said:


> Update: day 8 goes for blood preg test, day 9 a negative/inconclusive pregnancy result(>1), I ask if she has used the store bought test, says yes it was negative.


Either way...she was pregnant. Doing the math on the calender...ain't no way it could have been yours.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

well, your wife sure seems to be an idiot...unprotected sex with some shmuck when she only did you once in 11 months.

But you have a little blame here...why would you sign a deal on a new house with someone who is not giving your lots of sex? Can you cancel the deal, like right now...back out. What were you thinking.

Get thee to a lawyer. You have some heavy lifting to do this coming week. get good advice. Get a dna test on her blood (they can do it now without taking the baby's blood), and if it is not your kid, throw her to the curb.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

belarus said:


> Great advice, keep my calm....praturnity tests are cheap these days, 3-5 days, little brush and and envelope.. just would be bad move on her part... I guess im looking for the absolute proof, reasonably doubt till proven otherwise. Im thinking the google searches could have been the proof of her planning to set me up, nest building... not sure which is worse.


You need to establish paternity before the birth, well before the birth. It takes time to sort things out legally. If the kid is born, you are presumed to be the father, and a home test kit isn't going to be enough proof in court.

You already know you aren't the father, if she is indeed pregnant. So don't waste your money and time proving to yourself that something you already know is true. Save your money and time for information that is going to actually be useful in your plan to do damage control for yourself.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

The answer to the original question is the top link in my signature.

Step by step.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you googled borderline personality disorder? For some reason your description of your wife rings a bell.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Lon said:


> At 10 and 6, I would hope that the result of the paternity test doesn't affect your relationship to your kids one way or the other. The whole reason to test them, at this point, is to get a better picture of the reality of who your W really is, and what she has done and is capable of doing. It is simply to get at the truth, and if your kids are not your bioligical offspring I hope you choose to remain just as close to them as you are now, and continue to be the father they need in their life.
> 
> The only time a test result should affect a dad, is when they are fisrt born and before there is a bond between baby and daddy established. Though perhaps the more important benefit is that if the biological dad is around he could me made legally to provide child support that would help provide for the children's needs.


I think the kids mine, she does looks like me, but with recent events have just shattered my trust, would she... now I think yes. Tough situation, might take me awhile to open that envelope too.

Crap I slipped earlier, little peak, she sort of knows, her reaction.. absolute rage, name calling, denial, avoidance, personal attacks, even reversing it all back on me, using the kid as leverage is always part of any argument. She would not answer the question, of how she 'thought' she was pregnant a month before we had sex. My guess shes needs time to deliberate on that one, in mean time im an '*******' 7 times.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

belarus said:


> I think the kids mine, she does looks like me, but with recent events have just shattered my trust, would she... now I think yes. Tough situation, might take me awhile to open that envelope too.
> 
> Crap I slipped earlier, little peak, she sort of knows, her reaction.. absolute rage, name calling, denial, avoidance, personal attacks, even reversing it all back on me, using the kid as leverage is always part of any argument. She would not answer the question, of how she 'thought' she was pregnant a month before we had sex. My guess shes needs time to deliberate on that one, in mean time im an '*******' 7 times.


Do not play her game. Tell her you are not ok with her attitude and until she can control her self you will not discuss it with her, then walk away. You need to start carrying a VAR with you at all times to protect yourself and also to prove her verbal abuse in any court hearing.

Sony vars can be bought at Walmart and bestbuy for appx $60. You should put one in her car to see what she is discussing and with who.

Tell me, are you physically afraid of her?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

call a lawyer.

quit talking to her. buy a var and keep it on your persons at all times. tell her you have it so she knows. you can record anyone who knows you are. its for your protection so she dosen't say you abused her and call the police.

quit snooping she can use it against you. 

call a lawyer.


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> Do not play her game. Tell her you are not ok with her attitude and until she can control her self you will not discuss it with her, then walk away. You need to start carrying a VAR with you at all times to protect yourself and also to prove her verbal abuse in any court hearing.
> 
> Sony vars can be bought at Walmart and bestbuy for appx $60. You should put one in her car to see what she is discussing and with who.
> 
> Tell me, are you physically afraid of her?


Physically no, but she plays victim.. she at end of last convo used words 'stop harassing me' .. sounds like she has a helper giving her advice. Now just emails me 

"I deleted you from my phone, I am blocking your email. I am changing all paswords. F*** YOU you f***ing a**hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE you!!! You make my life HELL. I want nothing to do with you ever again. "

Thats pretty usual rage level for her. 

Ohh did I mention her ex had murdered 2 people, think he served short term for second, got off on first, than assault to brain damaged on a third... not sure if he lived, or details on that one. This all occurred 10 years ago right before I met her....I just found out about a year ago, and he lives an hour away. I have left all that info with family just in case. She started a huge fight over life insurance 2 weeks ago, I backed off refusing it, it was this that I was wary of.. I dont trust her. I didnt say anything as I know it would sound 'crazy'.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

LEAVE NOW !!!!!

You are not an in your face person, an he and she KNOW he will kill !!!
All the yrs of drama, an now insurance. Your life is in danger my friend.
So might as well forget FICO and other nonsense
She may not be banging him, but she can buy his services, you dig???
Don't be the new true life crime story on Nancy Grace

LEAVE NOW !!!


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## belarus (Aug 5, 2014)

Walks in with a bucket of KFC like nothings happened, wow.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: How to catch a cheater?*



OldWolf57 said:


> LEAVE NOW !!!!!
> 
> You are not an in your face person, an he and she KNOW he will kill !!!
> All the yrs of drama, an now insurance. Your life is in danger my friend.
> ...


Yes, obviously if she's dealing with a known multiple murder that she has a sexual history with and whom she is still associating with, the recent sex and the life insurance discussion is no coincidence. Lawyer up, go to police and consider arming yourself (I never thought I would actually suggest that to anyone ever)


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Unless you like drama as much as your wife OP, you need to disengage from any discussions with her about this. Stick to the plan of keeping the domestic front running for your child. If your child is in school or day care you can discuss your concerns with their day care provider or school administrator, and they can call social services and have child moved to safety, away from mother. 

Before you do this you need an attorney. 

So, get one.

Not sure why you are posting on here when you should be getting advice from an attorney, considering the history of your wife's associates and her action, it sounds like maybe she is doing drugs or has some kind of mental illness episode going on.

And yes, you blew your poker face, so now you have even less options than before and she's going to try crazy making on you, which she already has. 

Don't get railroaded/sidetracked.

Sounds like you are still emotionally engaged in whatever it is she's doing, meaning the issue of her=wrong you=wronged. Forget about that. Do you want to be a victim or do you want to go from where you are now, to a stable and somewhat predictable life without so much drama. You have to make a choice. You can have drama or you can take steps to reduce it. 

If she has threatened you, go to the district court and fill out a complaint to get a restraining order. Let her find another place to live. Child stays with you, maybe judge will give you temporary custody and she will have to visit child at a visiting center. This is how it works. You have to do the paperwork or NOTHING HAPPENED so far as the law is concerned. If she threatened you and talked about life insurance and got upset when you confronted her with reason about pregnancy that wasn't your child, you can put this on the paperwork to request restraining order. The judge who grants these is determined to prevent violence....but you cannot get protection or a change in your life without the paperwork. You will also have to have her served. 

You can do this without an attorney, but...get an attorney.
Just because you are wronged does not mean you do not pay.
That's a different story. If you are willing to spend your cash, you can have a good life. If you are going to keep your wallet closed and waffle on attorney fees, you will have a less good life. How much less good, who knows. How long...who knows..


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

I didn't read everyone's comments. I rather lose it all and file for bankrupcy than live one more day with this woman. And I am completely serious. 

Your wife sounds like an awful person. 

Years go by quickly and you can rebuild your life before you know it. 

I worked with a guy who lost it all, filed for bankrupcy, list his business, his tools and equipment......

A few years later and he has another business and this current one is a success. 

Run, go, see a lawyer fast, charge it....who cares!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Lon said:


> At 10 and 6, I would hope that the result of the paternity test doesn't affect your relationship to your kids one way or the other. The whole reason to test them, at this point, is to get a better picture of the reality of who your W really is, and what she has done and is capable of doing. It is simply to get at the truth, and if your kids are not your bioligical offspring I hope you choose to remain just as close to them as you are now, and continue to be the father they need in their life.
> 
> *The only time a test result should affect a dad, is when they are fisrt born and before there is a bond between baby and daddy established. Though perhaps the more important benefit is that if the biological dad is around he could me made legally to provide child support that would help provide for the children's needs*.



And also to brace yourself in case the biological father ever comes back to claim some rights.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I really don't think you are seeing this as dangerous as I do.
Dude, this woman is a predator, and you are the target.

Now you can waffle and risk your life, or leave now.
But this is not going to end well.
From her father to her ex, she is hard bitten and a user.
And these are people I know well.
While you are worried about rep and FICO, she is looking for a way to get rid of you, and make money on it.

Personally, I would not spend 1 more night in a place she is at.
And you,, you really have no idea of what kind of people you are dealing with.

As an aside, most life policies won't pay off full value within 2 yrs. Just your payments with interest.

Yo, old saying,,, " only a fool will keep doing the same thing, and expect a different outcome".


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## ricky15100 (Oct 23, 2013)

GET OUT NOW!!!!!! Not tomorrow not next week NOW!!!!, youre in very real danger in my opinion, shes painted you blacker than black in her mind, and god knows what shes telling this psycho about you, but im betting shes telling him that shes in an abusive relationship, women like this project thier behaviour. My spidey senses have gone into overload reading this!!! I feel for you man I really do, but you need to protect yourself now.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

OldWolf57 said:


> I really don't think you are seeing this as dangerous as I do.
> Dude, this woman is a predator, and you are the target.
> 
> Now you can waffle and risk your life, or leave now.
> ...


I'm with OldWolf on this one.

Rent Body Heat with Kathleen Turner. Given the history of the men around her, what he predicts sounds entirely possible.


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## IcePrincess28 (Aug 4, 2014)

One of my closest girlfriend works in the office of a gynecologist. As you know- the top indicator for a woman to think she might be pregnant- prior to running out to get that drug store preg. Test- is that she has missed her period. 

I'm going to explain really quick how all this works. Let's say your wife has a very regular period cycle of 28 days (4 weeks- makes explains this very easy.). So two weeks after FIRST day of her period- is the day she ovulates. Aka day 15. Making the day before, aka day 14 and day 15- her two MOST fertile days. Why the day before? Bc sperm that has made it past the cervix ("gate of the uterus") can live in the cervix for up to 5 days. Making sex on day 14 and day 15 (on a 28 day cycle) the most optimal. However- she does have an egg, and can be fertile from day 15-28. 

By day 29. She is one day late. Most drug tests need 10-14 days past a late period- to show a positive. Bc every day that goes by- a pregnant woman builds up more and more pregnancy hormone: etg- in her system. But a drug store urine test can not detect it very soon. 

Meaning- your wife and you had sex. Then 5 days later she says she is pregnant? Ask her how she found out. If she said that the first thing that confirmed it- was a drug store pregnancy test- then she is further along than 5 days. *correction- I just read your saying that her drug test was negative- so that's good. When I had my kids. I have two- they were planned and I was taking drug store Test after test- and finally confirmation. Then a blood test at the gyno. Which said I was 5 weeks pregnant (for both of them). My best friend conceived and for weeks her drug test said negative. When it said positive. By then the blood test said 5 week. 

Also- can you recall- ballpark figure- when was the last time she had her period? Some women have an app on their phone that they keep track of period in. I have one. Mine has a flower icon. 

Best of luck


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## IcePrincess28 (Aug 4, 2014)

Even worse than a potentially violent predator- is a manipulator. If she flips back and forth- and she is telling you "stop harassing me" for no reason and playing victim- she is clearly capable of staging. 

You MUST save evidence of all her emails that show her rage. Take screenshots and save all to a two flash drives. 

If you take screen shots of your text messages- you must delete her name so it shows her phone number so she can't lie and say that you staged a fake conversation with yourself and another number. 

I would think twice before getting a gun. She seems crazy enough to start screaming, hitting herself and then calling the police and saying that you pulled a gun on her. I didn't read where you're from. But especially if you reside in Illinois, ny. Or Cali - they have very strict gun laws. (I'm a single mom- and I have a huge safe full of BEAUTIFUL pistols and rifles, as well as a mini bedside gun safe- so this is not an anti gun related suggestion). 

Sounds like you're dealing with a load of crazy- and worse- a possible manipulator. So please remember this: 

Until you get a D or go to therapy to reach a genuine reconciliation- you must protect YOURSELF by living your interactions with her on the "stage." This means you get a VAR. You never raise your voice. Never do name calling. Never say anything out of anger. If she punches you. Let her! This is the cheapest way to dismiss her threats of using the child as leverage. Then call the cops on her. You have to have a police report. And if she is physically violent- never grab her wrists. I watched my friend get put into a cop car- after I went over there to help mediate their argument- WATCHED as she attacked him. I didn't help bc he had it under control and held her arms up and kept saying "are u ready for me to let go?" She bruises easily (no seriously- she does) - she called the cops after she ran into the bathroom. Then when I backed up my friend's story to the cops- she lied and said "the reason she is over here is bc he cheated on me with her and he called her over here to deny it" when in fact (obviously! Duh)- nothing like that ever happened and their argument was over money- his new tv vs. her wrecking her car bumper. 

Expect anything out of her. Best of luck.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

belarus said:


> Physically no, but she plays victim.. she at end of last convo used words 'stop harassing me' .. sounds like she has a helper giving her advice. Now just emails me
> 
> "I deleted you from my phone, I am blocking your email. I am changing all paswords. F*** YOU you f***ing a**hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE you!!! You make my life HELL. I want nothing to do with you ever again. "
> 
> ...


I don't say this often because I'm not usually emotionally invested in the lives of strangers on the internet...but you are so incredibly in danger it's not even funny.

And the KFC thing to boot??? There's some crazy going on here.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

I wouldn't feel safe sleeping in that house.


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## waylan (Apr 23, 2014)

Are you saying she tried to get life insurance out on you 2 weeks ago? wtf???????


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Why would you want to? Suspicion and fact are pretty much the same thing.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Re: How to catch a cheater?*



Runs like Dog said:


> Why would you want to? Suspicion and fact are pretty much the same thing.


So said the conspiracy theorists...


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