# Why does my separated husband hate me one day, and my friend the next?



## bluecupcake24 (Aug 17, 2013)

My husband of five years is so mean to me a lot of days, but then for some weird reason he will be really sweet and nice to me for a day. We are separated and getting divorced. we have not filed anything yet, but he is pushing the divorce. anyway. He has been very mean and controlling to me a lot. but the other day, he called me just to check on me and see how i am doing lately with things. and he seemed genuinely concerned. and he was talking to me and we got to laughing a little like we used too. I just don't get how one day he hates me so much and the next he is acting like my friend. possible, he still thinks of me sometimes and has doubts about the divorce. probably not, but i can't help my thoughts sometimes. and i know i can't take him back even if it happened. because he didn't treat me the best. and i keep going back and forth between hating him and loving him as well.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

My guess is as good as yours. Maybe he doesn't have any friends and misses the conversations too? Since he was so mean and you know you can't go back there, just carry on and don't worry about it.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Stop talking to him. Done is done... just be done. 

We don't have to understand why. We only have to figure out our part of it. If it affects you weirdly, then stop it.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

bluecupcake24 said:


> and i keep going back and forth between hating him and loving him as well.


THIS. 
you answered your own question right here.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

The cynic in me thinks the nice guy only shows up because he has reminded himself that an amicable divorce is easier than a nasty hate filled divorce. The nice guy is playing you, the mean guy is the real one.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Why did the two of you divorce?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiEOKqr9Ks8

You're hot then your cold...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Why did the two of you divorce?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Husband decided he needed to live his own life, with as many other women as he saw fit.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> The cynic in me thinks the nice guy only shows up because he has reminded himself that an amicable divorce is easier than a nasty hate filled divorce. The nice guy is playing you, the mean guy is the real one.


This. He's got a girlfriend and maybe she's coaching him to play nice nice so the divorce will go his way.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Love and hate come from the same place...passion. He can be sweet or mean to you because you're still important to him. You still have some power and influence with him. When you no longer can phase him for good or ill, you'll know he's moved on. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> Love and hate come from the same place...passion. He can be sweet or mean to you because you're still important to him. You still have some power and influence with him. When you no longer can phase him for good or ill, you'll know he's moved on. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.


Hit that on the head! The day I realized I was totally indifferent to my H and just didn't care either way anymore, I knew we were in BIG trouble! Thankfully, that was 10 months ago and we have recovered. Phew.


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