# Question time



## JustLookingWest25 (Aug 23, 2013)

Ok, so a few weeks ago I started a thread about my wife's pattern of infidelity. Other than our child and just the overall raw emotion involved (yes, there has been some hysterical bonding), I no longer have any desire to be with her. She came back from her little cheat-cation and said that she was still in love with me, but flip-flops on still being in love with the exbf that she left me for.

The story:
When we decided for her to go stay with my family in another state for a few weeks to clear our heads (Saturday), I discovered emails to and from this exbf who she has had a few EAs with (cutting it off and starting it back up later) in the past. I then created an online dating profile (Sunday).

A few days later she admitted to me that she was taking our son and moving to Texas (she didn't know for how long) so that she could be with him (Wednesday). She came "home" earlier than planned (Friday) because he wouldn't be able to pick her up for several more weeksif she waited. That night I met this chick while at work. We made out and groped each other a little. I came home in the morning after my shift, and while we were waiting for him to show up, we talked and I told her about the girl. I also told her about making out with and groping a for-various-reasons-ex-friend on our wedding day which was only a couple months after her last EA with this same guy. He arrived and picked her up. She had sex with him that night (Saturday). Two days later she came home (Monday). She has now decided to be pissed off for what I did.

The question:
While I felt and feel bad about the friend on our wedding day, I do not feel bad about the online dating profile or the chick from the night before she left. Should I? Other thoughts?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Deleted


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Why do you care what she thinks?

Why did you let her leave with your child?


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## JustLookingWest25 (Aug 23, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> Why do you care what she thinks?
> 
> Why did you let her leave with your child?


As for your first question, in the words of Ben Folds, "She liked to push me, and talk me back down, until I believed I was the crazy one. And in a way, I guess I was." I have severe trauma from everything she has done to me. I am looking for a therapist. So, while I don't care what she thinks, per se, I just want to know if anger has made me irrational and maybe I should feel bad.

As for the second, I didn't want her to. But he's under ten-months, we live in another state from our families (neither of whom know about her "lost time"), and since I work nights I wouldn't have been able to take care of him. It killed me, but I had no better option.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

JustLookingWest25 said:


> As for your first question, in the words of Ben Folds, "She liked to push me, and talk me back down, until I believed I was the crazy one. And in a way, I guess I was." I have severe trauma from everything she has done to me. I am looking for a therapist. So, while I don't care what she thinks, per se, I just want to know if anger has made me irrational and maybe I should feel bad.
> 
> As for the second, I didn't want her to. But he's under ten-months, we live in another state from our families (neither of whom know about her "lost time"), and since I work nights I wouldn't have been able to take care of him. It killed me, but I had no better option.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think if you check with an attorney,.you can force her to bring your child back. In a divorcing situation, one parent can't just run off with the kids.

Try dasdsdivorce.com


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## JustLookingWest25 (Aug 23, 2013)

She already came back. And given my situation, even if I could have by some miracle afforded a lawyer, I still would not have been able to take care of him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

JustLookingWest25 said:


> She already came back. And given my situation, even if I could have by some miracle afforded a lawyer, I still would not have been able to take care of him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. You are in a rare old pickle, right enough.

Counselling? Has that been mooted?


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

JustLookingWest25 said:


> Ok, so a few weeks ago I started a thread about my wife's pattern of infidelity. Other than our child and just the overall raw emotion involved (yes, there has been some hysterical bonding), I no longer have any desire to be with her. She came back from her little cheat-cation and said that she was still in love with me, but flip-flops on still being in love with the exbf that she left me for.
> 
> The story:
> When we decided for her to go stay with my family in another state for a few weeks to clear our heads (Saturday), I discovered emails to and from this exbf who she has had a few EAs with (cutting it off and starting it back up later) in the past. I then created an online dating profile (Sunday).
> ...



Talk about the kettle calling the pot black.


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## JustLookingWest25 (Aug 23, 2013)

theroad said:


> Talk about the kettle calling the pot black.


Ok, snarky remark that maybe I deserve aside, should I feel bad? I mean, I don't claim to be a spotless white pot, but I think I'm far from kettle black...

Yes, I understand that the one incident occurred on our wedding day, and that makes it a LOT worse, and I can give the excuse that given her history thus far and the recent resurgence of the EA that I gave into temptation because I didn't feel that she really wanted me, but it still wasn't right.

But
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustLookingWest25 (Aug 23, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Wow. You are in a rare old pickle, right enough.
> 
> Counselling? Has that been mooted?


We wanted to try, but we keep fighting, and then all of the "I love both of you" boloney. I realized that I can't get over it this time, and so counseling has been scrapped.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

File for D ASAP from this serial cheating woman. And get a court order forbidding her to take your son out of state.

I remember your original thread, and not only was there this POS ex but she f'd 2 guys off of a cheating website.

Like I said on your original thread, get rid of her already.

And no, I wouldn't feel any guilt at all about hooking up with others.

If I was you, I would already consider myself divorced. This woman gas stolen enough time out of your life, don't give her one day more.

You have every right to move on.

Personally, I'm a very vengeful person. I probably would hook up, and then send her pics of the fun.

To h**l with her.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

theroad said:


> Talk about the kettle calling the pot black.


Well, she started it.


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