# Surprise Divorce today



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Well, I went to a Matrimonial Early Panel Settlement hearing today and much to my own surprise, we settled today.

I cried. I was happy. I was relieved. I was thankful.

Very weird.

Thanks to all that helped me through the most difficult and painful loss of my life.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Congratulations!


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

Congrats and good luck!


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

Glad to hear you're happy


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

After all the drama, crying, sadness...it's good to have it over with. Now you have tied up the loose ends and are ready for your FULL life! 

I'm glad that it's over and done.


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## dantanph (Feb 7, 2010)

Wow! I am happy for you. I mean it is not a very happy occasion but knowing that you are liberated and the reeling of relief...

I envy you. How I wish when I wake up tomorrow the divorce decree is all ready for me and I would feel as free as you are.

GOD BLESS in the next chapter of your life.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

How did custody shake out?


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Deejo,

Custody shaked (shook?) out very well, at least I thought so.

First of all, it looked like the morning of our Matrimonial Early Settlement Panel was going to result in us agreeing to everything else (home equity, retirement bennies, etc) but a judge calling it on the parenting plan.

But we were able to agree and I think we have a good template and if she deposits in the "Nice Bank" to me, I can certainly be flexible and want to be flexible for the kids sake and her sake and my sake.

I work maybe 70-80% of weekends so it goes like this:

Mon Nite to Wed. a.m. Week 1 (2 overnights)
Mon Nite to Thurs am. Week 2 (3 overnights)
Every 8th weekend (which does make the following week kinda weird - back Sunday night but returning to me Mon. night but maybe we can work something out)
Rotating Holidays.

I would say this results in 60/40 parenting time - my attorney says if it's working well (and I agree, this is a good start), I could go for 50/50 later (or maybe we would agree).

I think if she wants more weekends, I can certainly *can* and would *want* to give her more weekends where I got to spend time with kids. Wed night is a hard night for me so maybe she would trade and help with after-school roundup in exchange. 

She is getting a distance masters degree so I think she may need some help (appreciate is another matter).

The way it works for me is I can practically work every weekend from May to October because healthcare is so seasonable around here in tourist town but in Jan/Feb, maybe only work 1 weekend. She likes to ski. . .so her and her boyfriend could go skiing a lot in the winter and I take the kids, if that's what she wants or needs.

Now, she swears, "Oh no! I want the kids on weekends. You're losing!" but the Mother Cabrini act is:

A. Entirely unnecessary. It's okay to want a break or need a break and go away with her boyfriend after working through the week.
B. Doesn't fool me. I was married to her for 16 years. She plays the Mother Cabrini act very well but even my family said, "Every time we turned around, all we heard was, 'XXXXXXX needs a break from the kids'. XXXXXXX needs a break." They got tired of hearing it (and she was the one who wanted kids bad!).

So, I have 100 days to find a house in or near about the kids home town.

I am probably just going to rent a house and just sit on my cash until I get thinking straighter. Maybe sign a 6, 9, or 12 month lease.

My attorney advised me to go through probation for child support. Not sure why. I was happy to write her 52 post-dated checks per year but that's why I paid him the big bucks - to advise me.

I guess I am a criminal now - a man paying child support and dealing with probation. All sounds so Law and Orderish or something.


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