# Wife passed couple of weeks ago



## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

the range of emotions is at time confounding and bizarre


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Don't make any big decisions. Try to eat something, get some sleep, let the emotions work thru your system without them overpowering you.

After you deal with the funeral, find someplace to just sit, take some breaths and try be calm.

Prayers for you,


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I am sorry for your loss. 

So I tried to read back and figure out the whole story but it was hard to keep the timing straight. She has a lifetime illness and became verbally abusive. You end up braking up and you dating? Then you were not allowed to see her? Now she died? 

Did you ever see her again? Did you guys divorce when you were dating?

I truly hope you got the chance to say goodbye.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

She did not pass alone. 
Your heart went with her as you would to do.

You too would have died as some do.
But she sent it back as some ladies do.

Let it beat for her.
As she has none to do.

And she will live in you.
As do two.

Just Sayin'


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I'm sorry for your loss, DH. I see it's only been a few weeks, she was ill a long time, and your M was a long running story. 

I agree with Frazzled, don't fight it. Allow the waves of emotion rush over you and exhale. You will be okay. 

Best


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions as they occur rather than stuffing any. It will get easier.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

PO, I'm sorry, I haven't read any of your other posts, so I don't know the backstory of your relationship with your late wife. I am very sorry for your loss.

From the other posts on this thread, I've inferred that your relationship with your wife was troubled. I have heard that the death of a loved one, with whom the bereaved had a difficult or troubled relationship, can be even more difficult to handle, because the bereaved is mourning not just the loss of that individual, but also the loss of the relationship that they might have had with the loved one and because it creates a lot of conflicting emotions.

Have you sought out bereavement counseling, or a bereavement group? I may help you to sort through your feelings. It won't make this pass any faster, but it may help in some way.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

sokillme said:


> I am sorry for your loss.
> 
> So I tried to read back and figure out the whole story but it was hard to keep the timing straight. She has a lifetime illness and became verbally abusive. You end up braking up and you dating? Then you were not allowed to see her? Now she died?
> 
> ...


Back in march we managed to patch things up for the sake of our son, but I knew time was fleeting, and I really needed my son to have the last memorys of mommy to be good ones. I needed that to. I thought about dating, but never actually did, more mental excersize preparing for the reality of life withouth her I think. 

The facts of the story bare down to, her family paid the help to drug her, her father gaslighted her, telling her I wanted her dead, and that I didn;t love her etc, never recognizing the reality of caregiver burnout. she took off out of state with our minor child, was hospitalized on arrival basically and stayed in that setting until mid january, she had ongoing infectious disease appointments till early march, when we arranged to get her home, from the day she left till the time we spoke some week later she wanted to come home the entire time, turns out her family lied about having a gaurdianship, being the POA , theyhad the hospital block her communication with me and her son/ complcating matters she had obvious delerium, of the hypodelerium type when APS came to our home and evaluated her. Her family snatched her 2 days after the APS worker came out. they are facing charges of kid napping, taking a vulnerable adult, kid napping a minor child. Also the caregiver is going to be charged with something, both states are working on that. 

About 2 months before she passed we had some long talks, the last words we said to each other the day before she died were I love yeah, she went fast, at breakfast the next day, a massive heart attack took her and ended her suffering, she wieghed just over 72 lbs, had a bowel resection with illiostomy bag, no renal function due to nephorctomy, type 1 diabetes uncontrolable , she had lost most of her vision and a good bit of her cognitive ability. Her hand eye was gone, in May she suffered a anyurism into her bowel which led to the illiostomy, she nearly died that day after mothers day. 

she was the strongest person I ever knew, and a beautiful and loving nutruing mother. Her illness and addiction to sugar took her far to soon. While our relationship was never perfect, we loved each other greatly, this is a hard loss to take. We had been together since we were in our mid teens.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

May she no longer suffer. I hope that for you as well. You have my prayers.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

@DepressedHusband Thank you for filling in the back story. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that her family treated you so shabbily and stole the last months of her life from you.

Please, if you haven't already done so, find a professional to talk to and help you through this. This is too much for you to process on your own.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## bbrad (May 30, 2012)

Don't blame yourself for anything, you were there for her and your child, that is all anyone could ask for. The question is did you do the right thing? Yes you did. Don't worry about her family, concentrate on yourself and your child. Her family may not appreciate you now, or ever. Not your problem. You can't control other peoples feelings. May she rest in peace.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

WOW!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

DH, so so sorry for your loss, you did your best to give your son good memories of her. May she RIP and I pray that you and your son can heal and move on in a life filled with love, laughter and happiness. Godbless.


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