# What would you do?



## missconfused (Nov 19, 2010)

My situation-unhappy in a marriage.
We have a daughter and he works and I work part time so I can finish school. I have a place to live, thats safe warm and welcoming, and even more so if I were a single mom I can get help until I finish school. I really dont want to end it during the holidays anyways. Would it be smart to save money without him knowing (I handle the check book ect) wouldnt that be the smart thing to do in my situation? 

Advice?


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

Try to make your marriage work for the sake of your daughter. A child needs a mother and a father.


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## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

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## thestruggle (Nov 5, 2010)

What would you say are your reasons its an unhappy marriage? Have you asked (calmly) your partner what is their perspective? What would it take to change so it could work again and be happier.
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## missconfused (Nov 19, 2010)

Country-I've tried...I really have.
I guess I didn't give a lot of background information. Here's the deal...been together 5 years, married a year in a half...as humans we went through a bunch of life changes in a short amount of time. My husband isn't one to handle a lot at once, needless to say I've always felt like I'm the strong one and that I have to be the strong one. We did the marriage counseling thing the first time we started having issues-all over his use of drugs. We stopped, things were good and back he went...my dumbass takes him back. Now, as I sit here I think, I'm not happy and I haven't been happy for awhile...what am I doing and why? Although I would love my daughter to have both of us all the time, I also don't want to stick it out and be unhappy...or stick it out and end up a single mom of three kids. I don't want to look back and think I wasted half of my life away unhappy. I don't know...I used to think I was lucky, I was with a husband who loves me, and does what he has to...but now I dont think so...and the drug issue is a big issue


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## ckeliff (Nov 22, 2010)

I am in a somewhat similar position. Drug use and three small children. Except I have another on the way. Dont have a lot of advice since I am in a similiar position. The addict personality is hard to quit. Like me you are probably co-dependent. We probably both need counciling to get strong for our kids,


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## dukeman62 (Nov 12, 2010)

You are still a young person and perhaps it would be good at this point in your life to again try to openly reason with your husband, especially in light of the great responsibilities which you both share in light of your little daughter. Honest and open discussion, sometimes a difficult thing to have in your situation, is very, very important when it comes to salvaging a marriage or other close relationship. And yes, the drug thing complicates everything, of course. This should be a major ongoing part of the discussion process, however difficult. And also, never, never hide the financial aspects. Good marriages are about sharing everything!!!


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