# Bad marriage proposal… please help!



## rpxs003 (Nov 9, 2021)

Hi, 

I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this. 
Can I propose again after 6 months?
I really need help as I really want to fix this between us as I do love her.
I was think of taking her on holiday abroad and trying it again in a lovely hotel with a balcony (balloons, roses and champagne, speech) 
Please help
Thanks
rpxs003


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She told you how she wanted you to propose to her. You did it your way instead so now she's angry with you? Really. Why are you even putting up with her abuse?

It's wrong for a woman to tell her man how he has to propose to her. He's the one proposing. He does it his way.

What's going on right now is a very bad sign. She will take this childish anger into your marriage and make your life hell. If you were my son, I'd advise you to break the engagement and stop the marriage planning.


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## Oakellen (Apr 1, 2021)

My opinion, call off this marriage. That’s ridiculous behavior from a woman who claims to want to be your wife. A proposal should be something heartfelt, not something staged. I’m sorry you’re in this position as I know it’s not easy.


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

Sounds like she is more concerned with being married than actually in love with you. Maybe you should be more concerned with her reaction to your proposal. If she really loved you she would probably be tickled by your missteps and think it was cute. I wouldn't try and 'nice' her back in with an apology trip. That sounds weak.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

The trouble you're having with the proposal is a sure sign of what's waiting for you 10 years down the road if not sooner.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

The red flag is flying high pal. She is already manipulating you, and for what? So she looks better on social media! You're just a prop in her life.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Personally, I think it's okay for someone to tell their boyfriend certain preferences (like being proposed to in public or not). But going as far as sending you pictures, telling you how to do it, and throwing a tantrum for months because the proposal wasn't "Instagram worthy"? This woman sounds like a nightmare. 

That being said, you probably should have put more effort in. You could have at least thought about what you were going to say. 

A friend of mine married several years ago and during the ceremony/vows his wife read him a long, heartfelt letter and was crying. When it was his turn to say his vows all he said was "I just... really love you" because he didn't think about what he'd say. It was probably one of the most awkward things I've witnessed.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

Sounds to me like she wants to be a bride more than she wants to be a wife.

You, sir, are setting yourself up for a lifetime of being a doormat if you're already trying to grovel over your proposal.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

OMG.

I don’t understand why people put up with toxic partners like this. 

If you marry her, your life will be a living hell. Well, it already is, isn't it?

Your fiancée is a person of low character with toxic entitlement.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You’ll always be competing with how “others” on social media do things if you marry this entitled little princess. What you do will never be good enough if it deviates at all from what she wants. Think about that life for a minute.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


Thank your lucky stars she has shown herself to you before marriage. Every single issue that comes up after marriage will 10x worse than this.

The point of marriage is about two people who love each going through a symbolic ceremony that cements their commitments to each other. There is none of that happening with her. She would choose to be mad at her future partner over someone else's social media post? Seriously?

Take back the ring and cancel the wedding.

This is genuinely a massive gift she's given you as she is essentially is waving a massive red flag in your face.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Damn,
Not only are you not angry at this childish nonsense she’s pulling, you’re wanting to re-propose????
Damn. I have a proposal: ask for the ring back so you can re-propose…… and don’t.
Dump her or you’re screwed.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

*RUN*


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


She sounds like a princess, who has attached much value to the perfect proposal and marriage.
You're an accessory in her mind.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


You need to grow into a man before proposing to a woman.

You also need to find a grown ass woman instead of a ridiculous little girl.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

rpxs003 said:


> She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard.


This is bizarre to me, however, I am interested to know what kind of proposal was she expecting?

Also, how long have you been together?

There is an internal expectation she had that has gone unmet. Did she have the impression that you were onboard with such instructions? Does she approach other life aspects between you in this way, or is it unique to the proposal? What do you think is at the heart of this reaction for her?

I'm going against the grain for a second here on purpose to wonder this: has she been let down by people in the past whereby she's been overlooked and therefore this experience for her carried a lot of 'weight' in that she'd hoped of all people that wouldn't overlook her, it would be you? (In terms of creating that moment in the way that she had hoped for). Or is it that she is caught up with insta-worthy messaging and is typically somewhat demanding? Granted, I hazard a guess that these scenarios may connect to something deeper within her and which may indicate where she's at in terms of readiness for long-term commitment, and the highs and lows of daily life together. And yet, knowing the importance she had placed on this, why did you decide to take a winging-it approach?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I do think it's sad though, that she can't get past it to recognize what is really important. One day she might get to that point. It doesn't mean that it occurs with you though, if you don't navigate this together. She may have some growing to do - you both might. Pointing the blame and harboring anger like this does not maketh for being on the same team as one another. And in a life partner, I think that's what is needed. You're facing the world together, even when one of you pisses the other off, you still manage to have each others backs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

From the OP, I believe she is living virtually through social media like so many youngsters and isn't close to ready for the real world.


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## DinoMom (Apr 27, 2019)

Run.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

OnTheRocks said:


> *RUN*


LIKE THE WIND.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


Tell her you’ve changed your mind and no longer want to marry her.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She sounds as if she cares only about how she is perceived on social media and not about you. 
She sounds very high maintenance and impossible to please. Her ongoing anger at you is a massive red flag and a taste of what is to come your whole life. 
Is that what you want? A wife who is impossible to please?


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

That is one of the strangest things I've ever heard. Run! I think she is doing you a favor by showing you who she is.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

GusPolinski said:


> Tell her you’ve changed your mind and no longer want to marry her.


Do a "reverse" proposal. From your knee start "talking backwards" and take the ring off her finger, like a movie in reverse...


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

My comment has gone... sorry, I forgot we are not allowed to use that word. Anyway, it is indeed a very strange thing. A bit smelly. Can I say that?


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

She's shown you what life with her will look like. More then likely you'll ignore it.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

She isn't ready to be married and neither are you. She is an entitled immature little missy who doesn't yet understand that the proposal is a moment and it's the marriage that matters. And that marriage won't be an Instagram worthy thing, either. It will be day after day of mundane real life very different than rom-coms and Disney crap. You, being willing to kiss her entitled tushie, shows you lack the spine needed to survive life and marriage.

Take back the ring, tell her she can kick rocks with her spoiled attitude, and work on figuring out why you're willing to entertain the whims of a spoiled child while looking for a wife.


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> She isn't ready to be married and neither are you.


This is the best response.

You're both not ready for marriage. Part of me understands she wanted this whole big romantic production especially when she looks on the dreaded social media and sees all of these lavish, retouched and reorganized photos. 

Marriage has lots of disappointments LOL. If you both of you spend a little bit more time growing up you'll have a better experience.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I can imagine his girlfriend talking to her besties ......." OH MY GAWD! Men are so stupid, even when you give them step by step directions they screw up! I'm so embarrased! I can't even post the pictures on Instacrap! If he doesn't re propose following my EXACT instructions I may have to break up! And he sure as hell better upgrade the ring for putting me thru this BS!!!!"

Tell me I'm wrong.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


Don't propose again. If you do you might as well stash your balls away for the rest of your life and prepare to be a doormat for her. If your GF is so shallow and superficial that she is upset about how you proposed she is not really in love with you. She is in love with the idea of a fairy tale and the attention a marriage will get her. My proposal was about as unromantic as it gets, something like "wanna get married?" and no ring in hand. I did finally do it right on the 30th anniversary of the first time I asked her. You will get by just fine without some ridiculous Hollywood style proposal.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> My comment has gone... sorry, I forgot we are not allowed to use that word. Anyway, it is indeed a very strange thing. A bit smelly. Can I say that?


Good probability but it's actually a pretty relevant issue with how unhealthy many are with social media.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

this does not portend well to your future marriage. dump her. she has way too many demands.
you are only engaged right now. she is supposed to be treating you like a king now, so you go thru with the marriage. if she is instead treating you like dirt today, think how horrible it will be for you after you go thru with the marriage.

be a man, expect her to respect you! if she refuses, find different woman


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


This woman sounds way too high maintenence. My husband didn't even get down on his knee. Who cares how it's done, as long as you both love each other. I can forsee a lot of issues ahead between the two of you. She needs to get out of princess mode. Life won't always be what you demand.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Some women want to be married, some want to be wives. Yours is in the first group. You're just a character in her play. Once you fill your role (house, kids), your character will be cut.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


Dump this Drama Queen, and find a real woman who wants to be with you.
If she truly wanted to be with you, she frankly wouldn't give a damn how you proposed.
Do it quick, before you ruin the rest of your life.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

bobert said:


> Personally, I think it's okay for someone to tell their boyfriend certain preferences (like being proposed to in public or not). But going as far as sending you pictures, telling you how to do it, and throwing a tantrum for months because the proposal wasn't "Instagram worthy"? This woman sounds like a nightmare.
> 
> That being said, you probably should have put more effort in. You could have at least thought about what you were going to say.
> 
> A friend of mine married several years ago and during the ceremony/vows his wife read him a long, heartfelt letter and was crying. When it was his turn to say his vows all he said was "I just... really love you" because he didn't think about what he'd say. It was probably one of the most awkward things I've witnessed.


Maybe. But how long does he have to try to appease her anger now? Maybe he messed up but he shouldnt be tortured for the rest of his life for this.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

uwe.blab said:


> Maybe. But how long does he have to try to appease her anger now? Maybe he messed up but he shouldnt be tortured for the rest of his life for this.


Agreed. He got a glimpse of how she handles disappointment........which is like a 3yr old.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If she was like this over the proposal, imagine what she will be like over the wedding 😕 🙄  🙁


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

uwe.blab said:


> Maybe. But how long does he have to try to appease her anger now? Maybe he messed up but he shouldnt be tortured for the rest of his life for this.


I wasn't saying that he should stay with her. He should run and consider this a bullet dodged.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I* put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong* and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


And also do some reflection on what has led you to this way of thinking.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> If she was like this over the proposal, imagine what she will be like over the wedding 😕 🙄  🙁


I see a future episode of Bridezillas


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

hey, just wondered, what ELSE is she tweaking your Jolly Rogers about?
She IS putting out, right??? 
DEF makes sure the sex with her will be acceptable BEFORE YOU MARRY HER.

otherwise you will join the ranks of thread starters here who start off "my wife will not have sex with me, and gets mad even when i watch porn...."!


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

Talker67 said:


> hey, just wondered, what ELSE is she tweaking your Jolly Rogers about?
> She IS putting out, right???
> DEF makes sure the sex with her will be acceptable BEFORE YOU MARRY HER.
> 
> otherwise you will join the ranks of thread starters here who start off "my wife will not have sex with me, and gets mad even when i watch porn...."!


Woah. There is no sex good enough to put up with what she's pulling.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Al_Bundy said:


> Some women want to be married, some want to be wives. Yours is in the first group. You're just a character in her play. Once you fill your role (house, kids), your character will be cut.


No doubt!!!!!!


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> *Can I propose again after 6 months?*
> ...



LOL 😡😡😡😡

Even after six months if she's angry about the way you proposed to her, then I sincerely think that you have much bigger problems than just the proposal. 

she seems to be the kind of person who put lot more importance into material things and how the wedding was arranged than the quality of her husband and the fact that she has a husband. 

"Can I propose again after 6 months?"

You certainly can. The question is, do you really want to? If you do, then what you saw for the last six months is what you have to look forward to in your life. 

In the current day and age, there are a lot of guys who are not interested in getting married at all, and in some cases, rightfully so. She is not appreciative that here's a guy who is willing to commit to her. 

If I were you, I'd take all my stuff one day when she's out working and leave. So, by the time she comes home from work, she'll come to a neat apartment without any of your things in it. It's just like you never lived there. Then block her on phone and all social media. She'll eventually start badmouthing you. But had you gotten married, most likely she would have done it anyway a couple years down the road. Believe me.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

DownButNotOut said:


> Woah. There is no sex good enough to put up with what she's pulling.


she may have one of those magical ho has, that legends are written about.

but you are probably right, and she is merely mediocre


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I don't know how old you both are, but I'm going to call it: You're both too young to be getting married. This is not what marriage is about. If she's that childish and you're that gullible, you're not mature enough yet. She thinks marriage is playing house and having something to put on the internet. It's a lot more serious than that. Please take it back. If this is an issue, you two won't be able to handle any of the real life challenges.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Asterix said:


> LOL 😡😡😡😡
> 
> Even after six months if she's angry about the way you proposed to her, then I sincerely think that you have much bigger problems than just the proposal.
> 
> ...


Lol. Uh………. Gotta change that to instantaneously. 😂


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

My advice is do NOT marry this woman. You will be back on here if you get married. No matter how perfect you try and plan the wedding, she will find faults, she will make your life hell. Lots of red flags.


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


Frankly, I think that you and your girlfriend/fiancee/soon-to-be-your-ex are just way too young to know any better. You both do not really understand the value of commitment. You both don't seem to understand the gravitas and the responsibility behind the commitment. You don't seem to understand your own value and are valuing yourself less than you deserve. I think she is too immature to really see what is important here. 

You both have some growing up to do. You both need to be a little more mature. It's a journey that you both NEED to take. Although, it is entirely voluntary to embark upon this journey. 

What I'd urge you is not to stick around or wait around for her journey. She may chose not to be on this journey and likely make it out to be your burden entirely. You don't want to wait around for her to complete her journey. I'm not sure what rewards would be waiting for you at the end of her journey, if any. 

Based only on what you've written here, I get the impression is that she does not deserve you. I don't know what it is that she has done to think that she does.


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> Some women want to be married, some want to be wives. Yours is in the first group. You're just a character in her play. Once you fill your role (house, kids), your character will be cut.


Once he fills his role (house, kids), he will be cut out and another man will be in!


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

The second proposal should be, "will you leave me alone and not contact me, forever?".


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Looks like OP hasn't been back. Even if he isn't replying, I sure hope he's reading the replies and has the strength to take them to heart and extricate himself from this relationship.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

rpxs003 said:


> Can I propose again after 6 months?


Noooooooo!!!! are you that blind, naïve, inexperience, mature enough, or you just lack common sense?

You are acting like a 15-16 years old boy trying for the first time with a girlfriend. Read what you wrote:


rpxs003 said:


> She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed


What's this? you are the one proposing, not her. Why has to be her way, and you bending over trying to please her *Big red flag here* (as immaturity from both of you).



rpxs003 said:


> She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed


Jesus dude, can we say "big Disney Princess complex here? another big red flag.



rpxs003 said:


> It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it.





rpxs003 said:


> Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her.


Man, for ****'s sake can you see what you have here? you have an entitled, selfish woman here that is showing you what's in store for you if you marry her. I know you won't do **** about it and you will marry her nonetheless (because I know your type), but at least try to remember that you were warned, so that in a few years from now when you're all saddled up in debt, mortgage, children, and your princess has drove you to the wall or, she's not longer into you but another dude and you come back here asking for advice you at least can say " I know you guys told me so, but"



rpxs003 said:


> as a male have got it terribly wrong


Yes you did, but not the way you think. The problem is that you actually didn't act as a male. You acted and responded to her pettiness as an emasculated eunuch. As a doormat were she can wipe her ass for any perceived slight. 

Now my advice to you: Grow some balls and be a man that will not take **** from anyone, specially a woman like this, where in case that you don't know, if they see you as weak, pathetic, and easy to manipulate, then they don't think of you as a man but as the beast of burden that will work and give children to her, while eventually the men that turn her on would be the alphas out there.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Tell her to go make you a sammich and you might reconsider, after she proves herself over the course of growing up a lot. Also, wearing a french maid outfit might help her chances.😉


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Her behavior has nothing to do with your proposal. 

She simply doesn’t love you and is not attracted to you. 

She is just a spoiled little brat that wanted to show off and wants to be the center of attention at a party and no other man is there to put up with her crap at the moment.

You didn’t make a mistake with your proposal. You made the mistake in proposing to the wrong person.

This is where discretion is the better part of valor. Correct the mistake by canceling the engagement and throw this one back.

Yes she will have another hissy fit and tantrum and will call you every name in the book and post all over social media how awful you are. 

That should just reinforce and be proof for you that she is not the right person for you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> Her behavior has nothing to do with your proposal.
> 
> She simply doesn’t love you and is not attracted to you.
> 
> You didn’t make a mistake with your proposal. You made the mistake in proposing to the wrong person.


I’m just quoting this again to help it soak in.


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## justaguylookingforhelp (Nov 4, 2021)

Lots of other people have replied, but since the OP has not yet responded, I wanted to add my two cents. RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY. This is a HUGE red flag, man. I understand that some people daydream about things like proposals, but if she really wants to marry you, how you proposed wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if you did it the way the dreamed of or if you proposed in the shower. The how you proposed doesn't matter, the why you proposed is what should matter, to both of you. If she gets upset about things like this and holds a grudge for 6 months over it, she's going to make your life hell about other things down the road. And planning a wedding with her will be pure torture. Run away while you still can.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I see a future episode of Bridezillas


Absolutely. Why anyone would want to marry those women a Bridezilla I have no idea.


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## GaLaxya (Sep 26, 2021)

I have an idea what would make her happy.

A holiday on a Fiji Island, she dressed in a Gawn spiked with emeralds that looks like Disneys Frozen Princess' dress (the dress is provided by you clearly), you two on a balcony with expensive champagne imported from Monaco (no supermarket fizz!).
You kneeling on a floor covered with diamonds (no matter if that is hurtful. Actually it is good, as the pain symboloses the pain you are willing to go through for her...)
but don't you dare bleeding and ruining your suite.

Then you hold a speech for no less but also no more then 5 minutes blessing her beauty, while she inocently brushes her fingers trough her hair.

Then she says yes and you pick her up and carry her all the way down to the beach (don't you dare trippin'!) where a carriage with 2 white horses is waiting.
But you have to stop at the hotel lobby where the hotel staff will be waiting to applaus for... mmmmh... lets say 3 1/2 minutes. A couple od people should burst out in tearsbof happiness... and then they start to sing Frozen's 'Let it go' and you mske your way to the beach...

Oooh, and don't forget the bed of roses!!!
I am a woman. I know what she wants. Give her this as suggestion. She then should draft a detailed script and you two should rehearse all of this at least twice a week for about 6 month before the big show down.

she should also give you a detailed plan explaining what gender she wants your future children to be and in what order she wants to conceive them. You can then release the right sperm cells at the appropriate time, when she wants to get pregnant. 

Does she wishes to get twins at some point? Identical or not? If non identical same or mixed gender? What sexuality does she wantsnthe children to have? Hair colour, eye coulour, height once they are grown up, profession...
But she might not know all the answers yet, because she might have to wait and see what the majority of her friends are giving birth to.

Sooo many questions!!!! Damn. But! You want all of this to be perfect!

Thr threat poster must be really kidding. This woman is rediculous. This is woman is a clown. Does she also look and dress' like one?
If not, she should, because she is too funny. She could make a lot of money in a circus or a Youtube channel talkin' about her expectations in a clown costume.

Jesus...

(sorry, if my writing is a mess... as usual...)


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

GC1234 said:


> My husband didn't even get down on his knee. Who cares how it's done, as long as you both love each other.


My husband didn't have a ring or even clothes on when he asked me! Pretty sure it would have been inappropriate to post the video on Insta.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> My husband didn't have a ring or even clothes on when he asked me! Pretty sure it would have been inappropriate to post the video on Insta.


Hey. You're not my wife are you?


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

MJJEAN said:


> My husband didn't have a ring or even clothes on when he asked me! Pretty sure it would have been inappropriate to post the video on Insta.


 Haha, that's great!


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> My husband didn't have a ring or even clothes on when he asked me! Pretty sure it would have been inappropriate to post the video on Insta.


I think that's the best kind of proposal. 

Facetiousness aside, what he did signifies getting down to the core fundamental, being vulnerable by exposing his naked self, and he made his intentions clear at the very moment he felt to be the most appropriate.


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## lund (Sep 16, 2021)

I'll tell you my bias in this - I believe when you discuss getting married that IS the proposal. What you're calling a "proposal" is staged pageantry, the ceremonial "proposal." This is part of a trend that benefits social media and caterers, vendors, etc but not the couples, certainly not financially, of ever-increasing pageantry and ceremony - stuff like a staged "proposal," a wedding shower, a rehearsal dinner, a lavish wedding with all sorts of frills and extras, and if there are kids then there's the baby shower, the gender reveal, etc. Nothing wrong with parties, and nothing wrong with symbolic actions, but heartfelt symbolism and fun parties need not cost the earth and, more to the point, need not be elaborately planned and staged. The ever-escalating pomp and circumstance has certainly not lowered the divorce rate, and can be traced back to people wanting to imitate the British Royal Family, not exactly famous for its happy marriages and functional family relationships. 

So I agree with those who say neither one of you sounds ready to get married. She seems more interested in imitating highly staged, highly photoshopped instacrap pics than in the relationship and as for you, you're letting her treat you like a prop and worrying about appeasing her without asking yourself what any of this implies about her or about the relationship - it's very telling that she expects you to simply follow her script to the letter regardless of what you, supposedly her partner, wants, and you act as if you had no agency beyond, perhaps passive-aggressively, messing up the stage performance.


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

You guys scared the guy away


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## Jimhardc (Oct 16, 2014)

rpxs003 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have asked my girlfriend to marry to which she replied to with a YES. I wanted to surprise her on the beach and I forgot she was starting a new job the next day. I didn’t have a speech ready and just got down on one knee. She had sent me pictures of how she wanted to be done and I have failed as I wanted to catch her off guard. We booked a hotel on the way back to the beach near her home. She cried and didn’t like the way I proposed the next day driving home. It’s been 6 months since I ask her to marry me and she is still extremely angry at how I did it. Every time she goes on social media and sees her friends and family member getting engaged, she feel extremely angry at how I proposed to her. I put my hand up and agree, as a male have got it terribly wrong and am know planning a wedding for next year. She is not enjoying any of the planning as she still can’t get over how bad I proposed. I do not blame her one bit. We fight almost all the time and really really want to fix this.
> Can I propose again after 6 months?
> ...


First I would like to say congratulation. But with that said if she is this concerned with the proposal and it is making an issue with your relationship you may want to reconsider the wedding all together. Yes EVERYONE wishes they had the picture perfect proposal with their spouse. But in reality it’s nothing in the big picture of what a marriage is. Working together and enjoying the ”flops” as much as the successes together is a big part of what a marriage needs. Personally my wife and I were talking about marriage for over a year maybe 2 and I always told her I’m not getting married again. So when I decided I wanted to get married I wanted to make it a wonderful surprise. Instead we were at a casino 2 hours outside Vegas and I blurted out let’s go get married! long story short the following night we did just that. No big magical surprises or proposal, hell not even a wedding or reception. What mattered was us and the commitment we made to each other. Last month we celebrated 15 years. So I suggest focus on what matters (building a long happy life together) not how you got there. If she needs make it up at the wedding. But if it’s that big of deal and it’s effecting your relationship she wants “likes” not a husband/life companion.


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## manowar (Oct 3, 2020)

print out and save each response. Read it in 10 years so that you can understand how you fked up your life.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

She’s telling you who she is and what is most important to her. Please listen.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

GC1234 said:


> My husband didn't even get down on his knee.


I didn't either. If I have to grovel beneath her, then why do I think I'm good enough for her?


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## HappilyMarried1 (Jul 21, 2021)

I agree with most of the posters already @rpxs003 if she is still going on about this for 6 months now do not go through with it. Tell her if she is already disappointed in just how you proposed then she is never going to be happy with anything you ever do. The job you have, the house, the cars, love making etc.


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