# Whats going on with my boy?



## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

He's 9 Years old. 
He suffered majorly from anxiety for a period of time when his mother and I were seperating.

She was doing the Parental Alienation thing and it really screwed him up. 

Most days he is fine, but then some days he wakes up and is like he goes into a closed off world. 

For example yesterday he was out playing with all his friends down the road ALL day yesterday.

Today he hasn't left the house.
And he just has no motorvation to want to do anything. 

This happens regularly 

Is this normal child behaviour.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It's hard to say since most days he's ok. What was he like prior to the divorce/separation? That is a better gauge.

When he is on one of his "good days" ask him. "When you are having one those days when you don't want to leave the house, what are you thinking or feeling?"


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## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

Corpuswife said:


> It's hard to say since most days he's ok. What was he like prior to the divorce/separation? That is a better gauge.
> 
> When he is on one of his "good days" ask him. "When you are having one those days when you don't want to leave the house, what are you thinking or feeling?"


I will ask him that question good advice. 

Before seperation he was fine. No issues. 

With his mothers parental alienation she taught him a behaviour of not wanting to get excited about things ie/ Seeing your father cause he's a LIAR and a bad person etc. 

For example he had a party to go to last saturday.

I said "Hey buddy we're going to Uncles house for christmas party on saturday" 
His reply in a very neutral tone "Well don't worry about my friends party then"

I said "No it's ok you can still go to your party as we're not going to uncles till later" 

His eyes lit up and said "Oh cool so I can still go to the party then" 

After that he was bouncing off the walls. 

I guess we can look into a whole bunch of stuff but very complex i beleive.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Can you get him into some short-term therapy? Someone he can talk to about this stuff who ISN'T Mom or Dad?






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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It will take him awhile to "undo" the harm that his mom put forth. Give it time to adjust. 

Is she out of the picture? Has this been resolved, the parent alienation?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

it is hard to separate the impact of the break-up with just the trials and tribulations of growing up. sounds like he is trying to sort it all out and the best you can do is be there and be patient and observant and do what you think is best for him in the long run.


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## momvswild (Dec 24, 2012)

Oh my goodness I can relate to you. I am in a new marriage with a blended family...he 9 year old boy also did something similar. His life is so different now and he's adjusting to having younger step-siblings...he JUST THREATENED TO KILL HIMSELF. 

My husband was left devastated. He later admitted to just being angry (hubby had told him he couldn't spend the night with friends since his acting out had caused some problems). 

It does happen like this...and his boy is so bright and well behaved. It's tough, but I think that these children feel no control over their lives and resort to threats and acts that 'force' their parent's attention.


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## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

Corpuswife said:


> It will take him awhile to "undo" the harm that his mom put forth. Give it time to adjust.
> 
> Is she out of the picture? Has this been resolved, the parent alienation?


His mother is still in the picture. 
She has backed off considerably since I went through the courts to get custody. She still bad mouths me, the kids tell us. 

I had him seeing a psychologist a couple of years ago, as he was sufferring from anxiety, it helped a lot. 

I've asked him if he'd like to go see the psychologist again and he is adamant he doesn't want to go but perhaps i need to tell him he should go.


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## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

Maneo said:


> it is hard to separate the impact of the break-up with just the trials and tribulations of growing up. sounds like he is trying to sort it all out and the best you can do is be there and be patient and observant and do what you think is best for him in the long run.


That's kinda what we were thinking as well.


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