# Lost



## Confused100309 (Apr 1, 2010)

For the past 8 months, my husband has been addicted to drugs. I'm pregnant and I'm going to give birth any day now. I fight with him about not sleeping or eating right and lately we've come up with a lot of money missing. I don't know if I can trust him or not. I want to so bad, but I know that he lied to me about the money. I have proof of a couple of times. I never accused him of anything until I had some way of proving it, but lately, I find myself accusing him of a lot, and I don't think that it's right that I accuse him of so much, but I feel like I'm being lied to and I don't know what to do about it. We've been married for a year and together for five years. I know that this person that he is not is not who he really is, but I don't know what to do about it. He has a really short temper now. When we fight about money or something, he gets really mad at me and leaves sometimes, but when he come back, I'm still mad, but he's not. Because I have a bad attitude when he comes home and he doesn't, it starts another fight. It's an endless cycle. The cycle starts with that he doesn't sleep with me, or at all, which upsets me, and I do mean "sleep", I'm not talking about sex. Then, I have a bad attitude when I wake up, which he says causes him to do the drug, which again, causes him not to sleep. It never ends, I can't hide my feelings very well. Maybe if I stopped acting so upset when I wake up, then it would stop the cycle, but I just can't help it. I don't want to loose him, I love him more than anything in this world and I just hope that eventually, he will become the man that he used to be because I don't know who this person is anymore. I keep thinking once the baby is born, things will change, but it's so close, I just don't know anymore. He has this friend who is a bad influence and he hangs out with all of the time, which happens to be his sister's boyfriend, who is also on drugs, but she doesn't know about it. My sister in law is pregnant too and I want to tell her that her boyfriend is on drugs, but she's had such a hard and stressful pregnancy, I don't want to cause her any more pain. I think that if I could just get my husband away from this guy, things might get better. How do I do that? I've tried telling my sister-in-law to ask her boyfriend if he's on drugs and he keeps lying to her. I've told her that I think that he is and she suspects that he is, but he keeps telling her that he's not and she isn't taking my hints.

What do I do? 

Please help!


----------



## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Hon, I'm not going to sugar coat my opinion here. Sorry in advance. About the only two drugs I can think of off the top of my head that would cause him to not sleep at all are Meth and Coke. If he has been doing either one of these continually for 8 months, then HE IS AN ADDICT and there is nothing that you or anyone else can do to get him off the drugs until he WANTS to. The baby coming is going to do nothing but add another element of stress to your relationship. It's not like he is going to magically wake up the day the baby comes and put his drugs aside and be the man you want him to be. He will most likely go farther into his addictive behavior, and at that point, you are not only putting yourself at risk, but a newborn baby. Addicts are KNOWN for violent mood swings, especially if they are needing a fix...do you think a crying baby or an emotional new mom is going to make this BETTER? 
He is an addict. As long as you stay with him, allow him to steal money from you (and your baby)-his behavior will NOT change. It might not change if you are not with him, but what you have shown him so far is that you will put up with his drug use (yes, you complain, but you still stay), AND he can take money from your household, neglect himself and neglect your needs, pretty much act however he chhoses...and you will STILL be there. He can blame his drug use on YOU...and you accept the blame...he has zero responsibility for his actions. 
You have to think of the baby, even if you will not think of yourself. It is far better for a baby to have no father figure than to have an erratically behaving drug addict father...who may be very likely to snap and take it out on your OR your newborn. Both meth and coke are known for inducing psychotic behavior in users.


----------



## sara nightingale (Aug 11, 2010)

The answers are always staring us right in the face, but the sun's always shining with its blind spots.


----------

