# LD BF going to doctor-need checklist



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Hi, first time poster, long-time lurker. I'm 46 and my live-in BF of 2 years is 42. He is LD and has intermittent ED. He has a doctor's appointment to figure out what is going on. 

He's very nervous about this appointment, he has an aversion to doctors and hasn't had a checkup in probably 20 years. We've waited 6 months for this appointment and I'm concerned he'll forget some things and I want to be sure he covers all his bases.

He'll request a check of his testosterone levels. But what else should he be requesting? 

Thank you in advance for your help.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

He should have a complete physical work-up, including EKG and a prostate exam.

As far as blood work:

1.) CBC: complete blood chemistry
2.) Lipid Profile: cholesterol and triglycerides
3.) Metabolic panel
4.) Thyroid
5.) Testosterone: total and free
6.) Urinalysis

I don't think he needs a PSA at 42 unless he has had prostate issues. Check your insurance to see what blood tests are covered and how much they cost. I like to order my blood work in advance from Walk-In Lab | Lab Testing: Order Cheap Blood Work Lab Tests Online, in many cases cheaper than insurance. That way the doc has my blood test results in advance, so we can talk about them in the office.

If he has had ED problems, ask the doctor for a Viagra or Cialis script.

Good luck!


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

LOL... I think this reply reads more like a school assignment, I'm sorry about that, but hopefully you'll still find it helpful--- 



If I had a 42 y/o man who hadn't visited a doctor in 20 years come to see me complaining of LD/ED I would:

First, try to determine if the problem was psychogenic rather than physiologic. (my suspicion would be that this is a 'head' issue not a hormonal one)

Things I would ask (after having the pts SO leave the room) would be questions like:



How often do you think about sex?
Do you think about sex with men or women?
Frequency of masturbation?
Experience of ED while engaged in self-stimulation?
Frequency of use of pornographic materials?
Frequency of morning erections?
Can you pinpoint a time wherein your drive for sex took a noticeable dive/the ED began or has it _always_ been this way?
Do you feel like the pursuer or the pursued in your sexual relationship?

If his answers indicated what I felt to be a true and noticeable lack in general sexual interest ...(and, if I felt he was being truthful with me) then I'd be more inclined to go the hypogonadism/endocrine route:

And thus more inclined to order serum: FSH, LH, Prolactin levels, in addition to serum androgens...or refer him to an endocrinologist.

Also, since your SO is 42 and hasn't been to the doctor in 20 years it would be a good idea for him to get a wellness check-up regardless.

Things I'd be interested in:

His weight and level of physical activity
Any signifcant past medical/surgical history
Family medical history (i.e. health conditions of parents and siblings)
Smoking/Drinking habits

I'd order a:

CBC
BMP (for kidney function)
Lipid Panel

I'd also check his BP and serum glucose.

The big things someone his age should be checked for are HTN, Hyperlipidemia and Diabetes.


Also, if his BP is high, it should be rechecked a couple more times before any medicine is prescribed.

He should be asked to give a thorough history and head to toe 'review of systems' and a proper physical examination should be performed.

(and I wonder if that will actually happen...it's a dying art)


My bottom line here is: 

If he's sent home on something like sildenafil or given a script for T without any of those 'psych' questions being asked first...you should know that he went to a poor physician who really wasn't interested in helping solve his problem.

Oh also, tell him not to go another 20 years without medical care. People can get away with that until about the age of 40...after that you really do need to have regular attention, particularly if anything that was 'normal for you' begins to change.

Don't ignore bodily/health changes for long periods of time...nothing good happens when people do that.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

circulatory system, heart, lungs


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Oh I knew you guys would deliver. And did you ever, thank you so much.

All of this info will accompany BF to the doctor. 

IndiaInk, your reply is so comprehensive and informative, I appreciate that.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Check for diabetes, my husband started having ED and after a check up at the Dr it turned out he had diabetes which the Dr feels is a big reason for his ED.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

don't just ask for hormone tests or testosterone tests. There are many variations and types of tests. Discuss exactly what you want the tests for (i.e. "his libido is much lower than it was, i was wondering what specific testosterone test we should get him")

GO WITH him to the doctors office. Chime in, don't be embarrassed! He may be. Be specific: "Doctor, his penis gets hard, but it is only a 4 out of 10, what can we do to get it to at least an 8 out of 10", "his penis gets hard enough for insertion, but after 3 minutes it is flaccid again, and he has to pull out", "he takes 1 to 2 hours to orgasm, never can do a quickie", "when he cums, very little comes out. It used to be a flood"

By being specific, the doctor can home in on exactly what diseases to look at. and do the appropriate test.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Happilymarried25 said:


> Check for diabetes, my husband started having ED and after a check up at the Dr it turned out he had diabetes which the Dr feels is a big reason for his ED.


if seeing a doctor, order an A1C blood test. It will tell you immediately if he has blood sugar metabolism trouble. Diabetes per se does not hurt sexual function. What it does do is attack the nerves that control a penis getting hard, so eventually, over years, it is more difficult for the penis to get hard.

if you just suspect diabetes and don't want to see doctor (he is pissing all the time, always thirsty) there are urine test strips you can buy at a pharmacy to see if he is very diabetic.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Your role in life is not to fix your boyfriend.
It is to evaluate him.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Hicks said:


> Your role in life is not to fix your boyfriend.
> It is to evaluate him.


Usually you can not diagnose these LD problems without at least some blood tests.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Boyfriend. Low sex drive. Aversion to doctors. 

Aversion to doctors is a rationalization for "I'm selfish and you are not important to me".


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Hicks said:


> Your role in life is not to fix your boyfriend.
> It is to evaluate him.


I agree with this sentiment. If you call a mere request for help/info here as 'fixing' my BF, then so be it. I don't quite see it that way; I'm doing what I would hope any loving partner would do-care that he's got this issue and help him get healthy. 

Neither of us are in the medical field and I think it's important he be armed with as much knowledge as possible before going in. That said, I have every confidence in the doctor because he's been my GP for over 20 years. I think he'll have more anxiety going in cold as opposed to being armed with the information everyone here has so graciously provided.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Hicks said:


> Boyfriend. Low sex drive. Aversion to doctors.
> 
> Aversion to doctors is a rationalization for "I'm selfish and you are not important to me".


I wholeheartedly respectfully disagree with this statement. You are barking up the wrong tree entirely. Now if our relationship had many years invested, sure, I would agree with you. But I am confident in saying that is not the case here.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> been my GP for over 20 years.


i thought you meant you were going in for a sex function urologist appointment. Not sure a GP is going to respond to your wants! If he is not having a heart attack, he will be "good to go" in a GP's mind. you want someone who is more attuned to hormonal imbalances, possible early ED signs, etc.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> i thought you meant you were going in for a sex function urologist appointment. Not sure a GP is going to respond to your wants! If he is not having a heart attack, he will be "good to go" in a GP's mind. you want someone who is more attuned to hormonal imbalances, possible early ED signs, etc.


Thank you, I was wondering about that. I should have mentioned that in my first post. He needs to get a complete physical regardless since it's been so long so I think this'll be his first stop. My GP is never hesitant to refer to specialists.

Thanks again!


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## NoIinThreesome (Nov 6, 2007)

I would add E2 to total and free Testosterone. High estrogen can lead to ED.


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