# Advice needed - I want to keep my shirt and wallet



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I apologize, I was falling asleep when this was posted. Suggestion - don't take Ambien and try to write ;-)

I have been thinking for some years that my marriage was going downhill, poor quality communication, she'd rather be working than home, her sleep schedule more akin to an owl than my lark. Very different short and long term goals. No passion for me, it is reserved for her 3" thick notebook / calendar, luggage and backpacks and shampoo. It was not always like this.

You can ask her friends how I've listened to her, taken care of her, I think I get an A or A- from tough graders, A++ if you listen to my friends.

Fussy, fussy, rules "do this this way", "do that, that way". Spends a fortune on shampoo, never cooks anything more complicated than frozen macaroni & cheese. I try to do all the shopping, when she goes bags and bags of cheese doodles, potato chips, tissues and hair care bottles show up, nothing edible aside from store made fried chicken. She consumes salt and fat and stores it around her belly. This 5' tall once 92 pound dancer has gotten rounder and tells me one reason we don't have intercourse is because her belly is in the way. Thanks dear.

Vaginal intercourse ruled out because of belly and thin tissues, cowgirl one she doesn't do, never did she speak to a modern gynecologist for suggestions. Won't use any lubrication, won't let me provide it orally, schedules what little non-vaginal sex we've had. Is late for everything. 

Yesterday, in part because a medicine that is helping me walk better has improved my spirits and increased self-confidence, I reached the end of my patience, and feel wonderful.

The sky isn't falling, splitting isn't hurting, despite nice words this has been a sham for years - when she confirmed at lunch with my friends that she will be staying in CT to care for her aging parents, rather than join me in a long deferred move to a city where this scooter using guy who enjoys art, music, people watching, botanical gardens, sitting, sipping coffee and watching boats in the harbor, it is all over. Hallelujah!

I want thank those of you who have offered support since I joined this site. 

Editing and updating on Friday 8/27 0730 EDT

I'm contacting attorneys, trying to find one who will keep me from being too nice & too generous, which, if I listen to friends (both mine and hers), is what I've been doing for years. Doing a bit of self analysis (my counsellor has been on vacation these last 3 sessions) I've transferred the love I felt for my mother to my spouse, and as much as Mom's hugs and kisses in public spaces embarrassed me, she loved me dearly. I know my grown children have benefitted from my hugs, kisses, and love. I'm a happy man.


----------

