# There is hope!



## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

It's been 3 years since the "I don't love you" talk from my stbxh, 2.5 years of living separately. It's been incredibly difficult, especially because I work with him and have contact every day. But I'm finally in a great place! I have been doing counseling for 2 years, I've discovered new interests, I've renewed lost friendships. In short, I've put myself first and I feel great! 

My stbxh is living with his new girl (his first cousin, yep, gross!). It bothered me at first but I've come to terms with this. I don't like her and I don't say her name but I no longer hate her. I see that my stbxh is still in the same head space as when we were together and I am so grateful that I am no longer stuck with dealing with him. I've chosen to be happy. 

I still love him but I accept he doesn't feel this way about me. And, although a small part of me dreams about falling in love again, I truly know that it would not be healthy for me to be with him. 

There were a lot of tears, a tremendous amount of pain, a ton of anger but I'm out the other side! You can be too! The trick is to focus on yourself, be gentle and kind to yourself. Do what interests you. Don't do things because you think it will get him (or her) back. This won't work. Your actions have to be about you!

There truly is a place of happiness for you. It's not going to look like what you pictured when you were married. Be open to the new picture. It's going to be even better than you imagined because you've been through a war, you survived and you found out the incredible strength you have. Focus on the positive and keeping looking for the joy in every situation. This will take you to the happiest place of your life!


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Glad you're doing well. 

First cousin? SMH...

How does that go over in a courtroom?


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

It won't come up with regards to the divorce because that's not an issue where I am. 

But, I know she's here illegally. She's over-stayed her visa. If I was a meaner person I would call immigration and report her. But I figure having to live with him and put up with his sh#t is more punishment than being removed from the country!


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

> I still love him but I accept he doesn't feel this way about me. And, although a small part of me dreams about falling in love again, I truly know that it would not be healthy for me to be with him.


Thank you!!
Your words give me great hope!


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