# Am I a bad person?



## C489613 (Jul 11, 2007)

Am I a bad person for using software that tracks all activity? I'm using it secretly to learn if my spouse is having an affair. So far there have been some very sexual emails and chats exchanged between my spouse and another, but I don't know what to do with the information. If I confront my spouse then I have to reveal my secret software. Would this be cause for a divorce due to the whole lack of trust thing?


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## mamab (Jun 29, 2007)

I don't think you're wrong for tracking your spouse's online activity, and I don't think it would be grounds for divorce. The thing is, you have to decide what you're going to do with the information, and whether or not you will act on what you've learned. If you are a church-goer, possibly speak with someone on staff or get a recommendation for a counselor. They may be able to give you better advice.


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## C489613 (Jul 11, 2007)

Yea, that's my issue - what to do with the information. We have a small child which complicates our issues. I don't want to do anything rash, I want to be sure to do the right thing.


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## tater03 (Jun 29, 2007)

I think you really have to figure out if you can live with knowing that he has this kind of online activity? I mean if you decide not to confront him he is going to know something is up just by your being hurt or you actions towards him.


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## hajensen24 (Jul 26, 2007)

This is a difficult situation. I have to agree with the other postings... you have to know what your next step will be and if you would follow through once you start it. I feel that you have enough evidence to support your suspision to at least confront him about what he is doing. But what will you do after that? You have to have standards in your marraige, and everyone feels there are certain llimits to what they can accept and not accept. If this hits your limit, then you should probably comfront him. I wish you the best of luck.


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## tater03 (Jun 29, 2007)

So I came back to see if you had decided to say anything to him yet? How is it all going? I really hope that you can find a solution that you are comfortable with and that it all works out they way you want it to.


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## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

I totally understand what your going through. I also installed a program on the computer to track online activity and boy have I found out some interesting information. Anyways, it has made me feel a little bad about it, because it is an invasion of privacy and I would hate someone to do that to me, but I am being hurt again and again, and I just wanted to know who exactly I married. I have recently told my spouse about the software and my findings, he was a little shocked but I dont think he fully understands what it does because he still does the same things on there. Good luck.


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

C489613 said:


> Am I a bad person for using software that tracks all activity? I'm using it secretly to learn if my spouse is having an affair. So far there have been some very sexual emails and chats exchanged between my spouse and another, but I don't know what to do with the information. If I confront my spouse then I have to reveal my secret software. Would this be cause for a divorce due to the whole lack of trust thing?


Regardless of what you find out, eventually your inability to trust him will cause problems between you. If seems it might be time that you examine your _*reasons*_ for using the software.


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