# wife as the primary breadwinner



## introspective (Jan 13, 2010)

When my husband worked part-time, he used to cook all of the meals and keep the house clean. I also cleaned, helped our kids with homework, grocery shopped, etc....Now, however, he has a full-time job. I still make way more than him and still pay all of the bills. Because he works more hours than he used to, he now believes that when he gets home from work that he needs to relax. Meanwhile, I'm cooking, cleaning, etc. How do I get him to continue working around the house without losing my temper and reminding that even though he has a full-time job, his paycheck wouldn't support him by himself? I feel used.


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## letitgo (Nov 3, 2009)

First off do you feel like you are a better person/spouse because you make more money? I make about half what my H does working the same hours yet he doesnt treat me poorly because of it. As to how to get a man to help around the house?? ha I have no idea...Just talk to him, calmly and nicely that you need help. Dont make it seem like you are demanding that he does this because with out you hes nothing


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## introspective (Jan 13, 2010)

I don't feel as if I'm a better person because I make more money, I just feel used because I work extremely hard also, and he feels as if he gets to relax after work but I don't warrant that same "down time." If I am going to do everything on my own, then why do I need him?


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## letitgo (Nov 3, 2009)

introspective said:


> then why do I need him?


Maybe you dont? If he adds nothing to your life why be with him? I know there are plenty of days when Id like to kick my H's butt for being lazy, so I know how you feel. I just reread my post and it came off kinda mean sorry...I wasnt trying to be like that!
Do you have childern?


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## introspective (Jan 13, 2010)

I have two children. And you didn't come off as mean. I really needed another person's perspective because I don't know if I'm being irrational or not.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

It is easy to feel resentment when you are stretched to the limit and your spouse doesn't seem to care. I've been there...since I have always worked full-time (and have 3 kids) I finally decided to get a housekeeper, pay someone to do the lawn, auto scheduled my bills, basically, anything I could think of to decrease my workload....Now that my kids are older and I am now working full-time from home, I have taken these things back on myself and pay the kids to cut the grass, etc. 

Your h should either be helping you out or throwing some $ at it ... if he were on his own, how would he get these things done?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I think the turning point for me was when I went to dinner w/4 college friends, all SAHMs and all had maid service except me!


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## enduvmyrope (Jan 17, 2010)

she should feel a greater sense of worth if she is paying all the bills and he can't hold his own. give me a break, no excuses for laziness. women have every opportunity to further thier careers and earn decent money. how pitiful when a man can't.


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