# stressed



## Scared65 (Aug 1, 2014)

I have been married for 29 1/2 years. We married young, I was 19 and he was 21... we have 2 grown boys. We have been growing apart for years now and we have gone through alot of stressful situations, as closing our business due to economy, losing our home that our boys were raised in, and now living in a single wide trailer. We both have great jobs again and seem to be getting on our feet again. We have lived in separate bedrooms for the past 2 years, and have only had sex 1 time in 2 years. We are more like room mates, and friends, which we still do things together. We both are still young enough to be happy. I know I'm not happy, and I know he can't be, but it seems like it's just me that talks about it not going on like this anymore. We both have done some things we are not proud of. I keep catching him chatting with other women, so that tells me he doesn't feel the same about me as he once did. I cry just about everyday, and pray for God to show me some kind of sign, or pray that he tells me he wants out, and it not just being on my shoulders!!

I know if I leave it will hurt his family, and could possibly make his elderly mother have a stroke or heart attack. I'm usually not the kind to let what others think bother me, but I know my family will be coming at me, saying why leave now, you have been married for over 29 years.... do I stay and try to make it work, and if so HOW???? Or do we split??? I just need someone to talk to that's impartial!


----------



## Faeleaf (Jul 22, 2014)

I'm not really getting a good sense of the problem yet. 

What things are you unhappy about, and would like to have fixed?

What things is he unhappy about, and has either mentioned to you or you just intuitively know?

What caused the decline of the relationship? What things did he stop doing for you? What things did you stop doing for him?

Stress doesn't split up couples unless they react to that stress is relationship-damaging ways (sniping at each other, pulling away, resorting to substance abuse, etc).


----------



## Scared65 (Aug 1, 2014)

I have always been the one to take charge in everything, from getting prices and buying tires on all automobiles, taking vehicles to shop, negotiating with salespeople on buying vehicles, things men should do, but he has never done. I know it's probably a little late to change this, and that's fine. I want to be feel loved, to feel appreciated, to be wanted and I get none of that! I'm the doer especially if it keeps peace. Our boys doesn't live at home anymore, so when we get off of work, we eat, we watch tv and he's out asleep by 8:00 just about everynight. I am lonely in a marriage. I think there could be happiness out there for me and for him, but is it together or apart?
I truly don't know what caused the decline of our relationship, we just have grown apart, and I think with everything we have gone through in the past 6 years, it has just made it worse.
I don't know what he wants from me, one thing is we do not communicate. I can't talk to him, I can relate better texting him, or writing him, sad huh? We do not have the same interest anymore, or the same friends, although I have tried and included him to do things with friends and their husbands. As for him, he really doesn't have any friends to do anything with, nor does he have a hobby. He has put on alot of weight, he has a bad back, knee, and shoulder, and complains hurting all the time. I have tried encouraging him to lose weight. He tells me he is willing to be alone if I can be happy... how guilty does that make me feel??


----------

