# So now STBXH and OW are glued at the hip...



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

...and I'm surprised at my reaction, and of those who have seen them and know who he is (my ex). He is looked at as a pathetic loser, not as someone who is 'moving on' with his life. She is looked on as a b*tch for being with STBXH even when he meets me to get our son, or waving at me when they drive by in our car. People who know him and our situation still can't believe that he's hooked up with someone else already, and it makes it pretty obvious that he probably wasn't the great husband and family man people thought he was. He's not and never was a victim like he portrays himself. When they both showed up when STBXH was picking up our son yesterday, it was at a store, and I just kept shopping, even though she was only a few feet away from me, and the two of them were periodically talking to each other, showing each other things, etc. I just did what I had to do, then gave my son his usual hugs and kisses and left, head held high. It felt so much better than running away! 

He hasn't actually told our son that he decided (about a month and a half ago now) to start (publicly) dating, nor has he specifically told him that he is dating OW! We have known her for years. STBXH has taken our son for group activities where she's also been. Our son has liked her, and it made me feel (very briefly) that feeling that he'll think she's so much 'cooler' than old mom is. But when I happened to mention offhandedly something about STBXH and OW dating, our son said quietly "I thought so. They are together all. the. time." And he doesn't seem at ease with it, nor happy that it's this particular person. So STBXH didn't even tell him any of this?! Was he just going to let our son wake up one morning and see her there in bed with him? OMG, and to think I wanted to marry someone who would show our kids a good example of a man as a father and a husband, and I thought STBXH was that man!!! It just shows me more and more how he changed over the years, and finally revealed how he is driven to constantly be in that infatuation/adoration phase of relationships. That's why all of the EAs. He stayed with me because I took care of him and everything else. Then when he got a network of friends and women willing to sleep with him, he felt he could leave. It will be interesting to see how he makes it on his own just from a budgeting standpoint. He's gotten quite used to going out to eat, getting nice clothes, not to mention a monthly Rx for viagra. That's all pretty expensive. Maybe if he were a nicer, better man with integrity, he wouldn't need viagra. Just sayin'. 

When I was looking at our checking account balance online yesterday, I saw that he'd used our joint account to pay for a date. When he dropped of our son today, I very calmly asked him (in private, of course) if he would refrain from using joint money to pay for his dating life, and to charge it on his own credit card. He was surprised, and started to act like I was mistaken but i told him the exact amount and the date of the meal, and he got really flustered. I wasn't sure if he was going to explode at me (like he sometimes does when cornered), but instead he just admitted that he'd used the wrong card and wouldn't do it again. An apology would have been nice, but I was very proud of how I handled it. I didn't have to get angry and tell him how f*cking tacky that is, or act all hurt and sad. I was just very calm, said Thank you, and walked away. 

I know my new med is helping tremendously. It is a miracle! I had the most productive day I've had in months. I wish my sleep was better, and I could really use a backrub (maybe did a little too much around the house!), but it felt really good to get so much done, and even get outside with my son today. 

I'm a little worried that I am suddenly not crying at all -- is this a false emotional effect of the med, or maybe, just maybe, am I finally starting to move on myself? I hope it's the latter.


----------



## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

OK, I just saw proudwidaddy's thread on wedding rings, and now the tears are coming. Well, at least I know I'm still human, ha ha.


----------

