# Question about counselling



## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Hi all, I'm considering divorce as my wife was in a long term affair, my story is in the infidelity forum. 

Anyway, I find me being the one that has been mentioning marriage counseling. She only mentioned it once the day after I discovered her affair less than 2 weeks ago. Since then, not a word mentioned from her about following up with counseling. 

What I would like to know, is does MC really help people deal with this to the extent that they can reconcile? Or is it pretty much a waste of time? I know every situation is different, but in general, can it make a difference? I'm just having a lot of doubts right now as I'm not sure if I even want to continue with this marriage as I do not see or feel a lot of action on her part to help heal the marriage, then again, I'm not even sure what should be happening or what we should be doing.

But what do they do for people?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

2 weeks is not a lot of time

Are you sure all comms with the OM are done and she's still not involved in the affair?

She doesn't seem very remorseful or she'd be doing EVERYTHING to help you heal, including calling a MC and setting up an appointmenr


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Toffer said:


> 2 weeks is not a lot of time
> 
> Are you sure all comms with the OM are done and she's still not involved in the affair?
> 
> She doesn't seem very remorseful or she'd be doing EVERYTHING to help you heal, including calling a MC and setting up an appointmenr


THIS!!!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

You may be right, if I do find that is the case, then there wont be any need for a counselor as I would file immediately. I was just wondering what occurs and if it is helpful.


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## Snow cherry (Apr 24, 2013)

I think MC works if you like the therapist and both of you want to fix things and are willing to work at it....otherwise, it's a waste of time.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

U might just want to keep the MC appt. even if just you go. It will help you deal with what are bound to be some crazy days and nights ahead for you. Your about, if you haven't already started placing blame, on her, on you, when in reality is should be about the "us" blame. You are gonna need some tools, some outlets, and some clarity on what/why/when and don't be ashamed to ask for it or seek it. This is not your fault, but you will learn that you are partially to blame. 

Work on yourself, stay strong, stay positive. No one can change your wifes mind, but you can work on yourself and show her what she might be missing out on in the future. BUT, the old marriage, the old wife you remember DONT exist anymore. Its time to build new, start with yourself.


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