# Second Divorce on the Horizen...felling sick...



## apple0fmyeye (Mar 8, 2013)

Here goes nothing...I don't like to be alone for too long (meaning I love family and friends but can also appreciate quiet time alone reading/relaxing etc.). So a person like me loves having a good partner and being married. First marriage at 23 ended after 2 years (me insecure/jealous/never learned good communication skills in personal relationships). Second marriage at age 27...I entered a situation that threw me into Reality 101. Husband had 1ex-wife, 2 biological children (2 diff woman 1 ex/1 baby mama cheated on ex with during divorce proceedings), 1 college -aged child found out not his at age 5 with ex, 1 adult step-son...and lies, upon lies, and bagage galore. I wanted love..badly and was drawn to the idea of a perfect marriage with my now husband. Long story short...he was in military, I found out he was living a full double life with ex and kids while in Germany (I was stateside), received MAJOR court martial, jailtime, pay loss, ENTIRE character tarnished, both he and ex ruined their 18-20 military careers. 

I found strength to fight for these 2 years due to his mom really being a liason between what reality was showing me and hope for a good marriage with her son. Ex is/was crazy...incest rape by father until 17, scary parenting tactics, vicious deranged tendancies when jealous, bi-polar, etc...

Me not perfect (AT ALL)...just stopped fighting for love after incident last year 2012 (where after returning to US and getting kicked out military/retirement cut in half and or lost)...(plus other criminal issue which I cannot say because still being fought by husband)...our then 9 month old son and I went to visit him at mothers home after being ignored for a month when calling etc...figured he wanted to have fun...not right but what to do...he was finally home made excuse that...umm honestly I'm just stupid in love what can I say :/ Well anyway...we visited her home and I found out by my step-daughter (who got along with me after we both had seen too much/been hurt by craziness), the Ex (who from 1 week after marriage sent harrasing emails varying from 5x's a day to 2 a week with UPDATES half false/half truths), a sister-in-law who was actually upset at what my husbadn was doing, and finally by Mother-in-law after I approcahed her...The ex was invoited into their home to hang out while they played cards, drank etc. The daughter was shocked because she knew that what was going on was wrong and did not like the way my husband was treating me "Mean in her 16 year old words". After 2 days of this hosting of the ex..Police had to be called because the Crazy came out of her again. Unbenowst to me who visited 2 weeks after this incident (which happened to be Fathers Day weekend). Once finding out/confirming with hubby and all...my 9 month old baby and I got a flight out of there back to where I lived (different state and hubby and I have lived together a total of 4 months since married and that's split in different times). 

Anyway...deep depression of being single parent set in, sadness for baby to be raised like this, had counseling with my Christian therapist since marriage/adultery started with ex, and eventually I begin with great support system to begin process to move forward. 

I began dating etc...met great guy...like him...hell I love him really...very nice, easy to deal with, loves me and my son. Divorce not even done...i'm doing it my self so that should tell you that I don't have money to hire lawyer. Child support already in motion to start etc...then BOOM after begging for family back, pleading for funds for my son (won't even go there its just sad), supporting hubby no matter WHAT...I get a text from hubby (after many of ignored ones wanting to get back etc..) that he is finally willing to GIVE up job out-of-state, sell home from he and ex, and misses wife and son...wants to come back...

You guys know the story from here...WHAT TO DO??? 

Son deserves family...I've healed my heart and have no more love...just mutual patience...Should I stay or should I continue forward?

Better the devil I know then the one I don't???


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Let me get the facts straight. Correct me if I am wrong.

Your husband was AD military stationed overseas.
His ex-wife was AD military living overseas.
Their kids were living with them.
You were stateside with the child you share with your husband.

Why were you not in Germany with him? Did he make an excuse that you could not be there? I see so many red flags in this story. The deception is so runaway that it goes deeper than just average infidelity, plus you are dealing with criminal charges. I have dealt with something about as horrible while living overseas and my husband left me homeless. My advice is tell your husband to take a hike, but I understand it is easier said than done. I wish you luck.


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