# Need help explaining my husbands behavior



## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

Yesterday my husband went to get our daughter from the bus stop. I was going to go myself, but he seemed rushed to go because it close to the time the bus was due to arrive. When he got back I noticed he was wearing this hat that he got that he knows he looks good in... (I know this sounds very ridiculous) ... never-the-less I realized that even though we were running behind to get to the bus on time, he came upstairs just to get his hat. 

My gut is telling me that he is trying to look good for a particular neighbor... when I asked him about it he first got defensive then later said he just wants to feel good by looking good... Now that's fine, but a bit extreme for the neighborhood bus stop.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Was it raining? 

Sun too bright?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

There must be more than just that to have your gut screaming.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Bald or balding?


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## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

It was sunny..

There is more...but nothing that I can actually put a finger on with out sounding totally crazy (as if I don't already) 

Him putting on that hat was like spritzing yourself with some perfume or refreshing your face before picking your kid up at the bus stop... not something I would do unless I was trying to attract attention.

He is making me feel like I'm a crazy jealous wife for even bringing it up.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Tell us what else there is. We've all been to crazytown and back, believe me.


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## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

shaves his head...


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

It could be anything really. But if there is nothing else going on that would make you suspicious other than this behavior then I would just leave it at that and keep a eye on it for now.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Lots of people like to attract attention even if they aren't cheating both men and women. So to me this is not a big deal unless you have other evidence to go with it.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Seems to me that a shaved head would be sexier than wearing a hat. Maybe he doesn't want to get burned?


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## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

I know she is his type
He looks at her softly
always without fail looks at her house as we drive by
he said before that he though maybe she was flirting with him... she does have a tendency to overstep her bounds.

that's all I can think of for the moment....


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## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

I agree about the shaved head being sexier... no chance that he could be concerned with getting a burn for a 5 min round trip in the car to the bus stop.

I also agree that we all like attention. However, why get defensive about it? Why look for attention at a bus stop? Why turn it around on me?


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

So does she go to pick up her child at the same bus stop? How has she overstepped boundaries? Obviously there is more to this.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

He is turning it around on you because he feels guilty about it. 

If I were you, I would tell your husband just how sexy he looks in that hat, and then SHOW him how sexy YOU think he looks in that hat. Don't worry about what she is doing to attract your man, worry about what YOU are doing to attract him.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

So he gets defensive when you ask him whether he thinks she's attractive? From what you describe, it sounds like he has a crush on her. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as it stays just a crush.

I sound like a broken record, but this book addresses the slippery slope that happens when married people have 'more than friends' for friends.

Dr. Shirley Glass - NOT "Just Friends"


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## Maggie2303 (Aug 30, 2012)

The only reason he thinks he looks good is because I told him. He does not seem interested in my showing him.

She told me before that she lost a good friend because the friend felt she was flirting with her husband... I don't know if she just really needs attention from men or if she is oblivious. There was also a time that she was laughing about a text she was sending explaining that she was joking around with a friends husband.... She seems happily married, but I do know she has daddy issues... so maybe that's it... who knows... yes she picks her kids up at the same time/place


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My hubby had a crush on a co worker of mine about 11 years ago - she was damned sexy and gave off mega pheromones I think because every guy, married or not, that I knew had the hots for her. It was SO obvious he had this crush. I put a stop to it when he brought fantasies of her into the bedroom too often. Anyway, if you let your hubby know how obvious he's being maybe he'll wake up and smell the coffee.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Maggie2303 said:


> The only reason he thinks he looks good is because I told him. He does not seem interested in my showing him.
> 
> She told me before that she lost a good friend because the friend felt she was flirting with her husband... I don't know if she just really needs attention from men or if she is oblivious. There was also a time that she was laughing about a text she was sending explaining that she was joking around with a friends husband.... She seems happily married, but I do know she has daddy issues... so maybe that's it... who knows... yes she picks her kids up at the same time/place


Well, if you know her, you could always not so subtly warn her off...and as for hubby, just let him know that you're watching him. 

Keep your eyes open, too. Everyone here has a story, and I'm sure you'll find lots that bear resemblance to yours...


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