# How many affairs start out as friendships?



## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Just trying to get some insight here.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

If you read around here, quite a number of them. That's why I'm so dead set against opposite sex friendships in a marriage.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

From things i've seen in my life and from my readings of accounts of people in them, almost all of them start with a variation of "just friends".


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Gota agree with Middleman. Ive seen so many so called innocent friendships start that way, then the flirting starts, then the emotional sharing of home issues next its intermate convervations and secret meetings then it bedroom olympics. When my W made a "he's a friend" comment to me recently I very quickly siad nope hes not. It could have got heated until I hit with and I suppose me having a female friend especially one you havent met is ok for you as well..... Reaction = "Oh, And who is she then??" followed by a bright red face.... BULLEYE. Point made and now the boundries are being put in place by me. I dont believe in opposite sex friends as its a thin line.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

safe to say A LOT! I'm also thinking workplace affairs rank pretty high on the charts of frequency too.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

...all of them. 

They certainly don't start out as being enemies. 

Most men (with no integrity) could start an affair based on sex with a woman that they are attracted to. Men's primary sense is their sight. They are attracted to what they see. Women are different...for the most part. They are attracted to the physical but they also seem to crave the emotional connection and sex is just a by product of the emotional connection. 

I do believe that men and women that are "just friends" are fooling themselves thinking that they will remain "just friends" if there is even a hint of physical attraction between them. The key is the physical attraction. Without it...there is no physical affair. However, there can still be an emotional affair. Women can and do fall in love with someone that they have never seen. Example...internet chat rooms.

If there is an initial attraction, friends of the opposite sex became even more physically attractive to each other then they were initially if the friendship and emotionally chemistry is strong. Once that happens...look out! Throw in poor boundaries, some FOO issues, marital issues, or even boredom and some innocent people are going to get hurt.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Quite a few. That's why that infamous line "We're JUST friends" is one heard so often.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Decimated said:


> I do believe that men and women that are "just friends" are fooling themselves thinking that they will remain "just friends" if there is even a hint of physical attraction between them.
> 
> If there is an initial attraction, friends of the opposite sex became even more physically attractive to each other then they were initially if the friendship and emotionally chemistry is strong. Once that happens...look out!


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

Obviously we will never know the answer, but it'd be really interesting to see what the % is. I'd guess its 90% or more.

Even workplace affairs, IMO, can be classified as starting as "just friends".

I think the only types of affairs that aren't started this way are maybe drunken one night stands with strangers at a bar type of situation. No time for friendship to develop.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Most of them if not all of them


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## Thinkitthrough (Sep 5, 2012)

I am a teacher and in Canada, at least, we are going through a feminization of the profession. As a result most of the staff is female. I have female "friends" on the staff, but, I keep the friendships in context. I wouldn't want to hang out with them after work unless it was a work related function.(ie Parents night or a Professional Development session). I keep a friendly distance from students and from the female staff.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

kipani said:


> Just trying to get some insight here.


I guess almost all other than a ONS. What am I missing?


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