# Wearing a wedding band and its importance



## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

I don't like wearing one, purely because it uncomfortable, and I don't like wearing rings. My wife wants me to have it on, she never takes hers off, but she is comfortable with them.

I don't see the big deal, she says things like " it's so people know you are married". My feeling is that everyone we know already knows that, I know it, why is it important for strangers to know it as well. Anyone else not wear there's?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I rarely wear mine. I'm a homemaker with 3 kids so no point to jewelry. My husband hasn't worn his for years either - it doesn't fit.

I know some get security from rings but we are not like that. I'm VERY married ring or no ring same as my husband. LOL


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I rarely wear mine. I'm a homemaker with 3 kids so no point to jewelry. My husband hasn't worn his for years either - it doesn't fit.
> 
> I know some get security from rings but we are not like that. I'm VERY married ring or no ring same as my husband. LOL


That's exactly how I feel


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

I do wear one but know people that don't. I think it is a decision that each couple makes together.

Sounds like it is a big deal to your wife. If so, does your discomfort outweigh her desire for you to wear it? She can't make you wear it, but you need to figure out if this is a fight important enough to stand your ground on.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> I do wear one but know people that don't. I think it is a decision that each couple makes together.
> 
> Sounds like it is a big deal to your wife. If so, does your discomfort outweigh her desire for you to wear it? She can't make you wear it, but you need to figure out if this is a fight important enough to stand your ground on.


I do really hate wearing it, only wore it for a few weeks after we got married. I guess it's a bit selfish because it is important to my wife. But I don't see what difference it would make really. Trust is trust


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I agree that wearing a ring doesn't make someone more married than someone not wearing one. Perhaps it's a symbolic thing with the OP's W, in that she feels that she put the ring on his finger when they were taking their vows, and she's hurt that he prefers not to wear it.

Whatever the case, I think it's something I would try to get used to if it was something that was making my partner unhappy.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

I don't wear rings of any kind. I find them uncomfortable. It's a purely symbolic thing. For me and my partner it's not an issue, we don't need rings to know the commitment we have to one another. 

But if it is such a big deal for your wife, if it makes her feel better just use the damn thing. You'll probably get used to it.


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## thegatewalker (Apr 29, 2012)

costa200 said:


> But if it is such a big deal for your wife, if it makes her feel better just use the damn thing. You'll probably get used to it.


Yep
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> I do really hate wearing it, only wore it for a few weeks after we got married. I guess it's a bit selfish because it is important to my wife. But I don't see what difference it would make really. Trust is trust


If it's important to your W, wear it. If yours is uncomfortable, go try some different ones. I'd prefer to not wear any jewelry, but I put my ring on.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'd personally be very upset if my husband didn't wear his. We picked it out together and it was not cheap!

I wear mine and my lovely anniversary ring unless I'm baking homemade breads or pies.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Wrongdoer said:


> I do really hate wearing it, only wore it for a few weeks after we got married. I guess it's a bit selfish because it is important to my wife. But I don't see what difference it would make really. Trust is trust


I understand (and was a bit that way myself), but it matters to her. It is not right or wrong, it is just a different view point. My wife views me wearing my ring as a reminder of our committment. It means something to her, so even though I don't particularly like jewelry, I wear it for her. To me, it was not a fight worth winning. But that is me - you need to figure out how important (and uncomfortable) it is to you.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Would it be really wrong to wear it in front of her and take it off when she's not around? I really do have a weird hatred of wearing rings. She dosnt make a huge argument out of it, but has said she wants me to wear it. I'm thinking it just part of her insecurity


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Wrongdoer said:


> Would it be really wrong to wear it in front of her and take it off when she's not around? I really do have a weird hatred of wearing rings. She dosnt make a huge argument out of it, but has said she wants me to wear it. I'm thinking it just part of her insecurity


For me yes. I'm only being honest.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Would it be really wrong to wear it in front of her and take it off when she's not around?


If she finds out you're screwed. Better not wear it at all and explain it to her.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> For me yes. I'm only being honest.


Yeah I would feel a bit naughty for doing that, but I'm trying to find some middle ground.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Wrongdoer said:


> Would it be really wrong to wear it in front of her and take it off when she's not around? I really do have a weird hatred of wearing rings. She dosnt make a huge argument out of it, but has said she wants me to wear it. I'm thinking it just part of her insecurity


I think this is wrong on two fronts:

1. You are not being honest and avoiding conflict. My assumption is that you would not tell her you are not wearing when she is not around. So rather than hurt her feelings, you are being dishonest. That is a bad habit to get into.

2. You are judging her based on a disagreeing with you. You opinions differ, so hers must be due to insecurity. Why? Why can't she just have a different view that is not tainted with judgement? You need to be willing to accept that she has different opinions that are not necessarily morally inferior to yours.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Wrongdoer said:


> I don't like wearing one, purely because it uncomfortable, and I don't like wearing rings. My wife wants me to have it on, she never takes hers off, but she is comfortable with them.
> 
> I don't see the big deal, she says things like " it's so people know you are married". My feeling is that everyone we know already knows that, I know it, why is it important for strangers to know it as well. Anyone else not wear there's?


Me & my husband are BOTH like you describe here, I don't like stuff on my fingers all the time, it gets in the way, they get tight, I would take them off every night anyhow. If he had a problem with this, we would likely fight a little. He is not allowed to even wear his ring at work, cause it could get caught on something. I only put mine on & get his out when we are going out & about. 

It has absolutley zero relevance to our abiding TRUST & LOVE for each other, Yes, it is a symbol of this... but I am not feeling if he takes it off...or doesn't wear it for days... he has shattered something we have. 

BUt it seems....some DO attach GREAT and deep meaning to such symbols ....I remember putting my thoughts on a thread similar to this...posted by the wife... she was near frantic & suddenly shaken, hurt, questioning... that her husband took his ring off to clean something.... like OMG why did he do that!!!









In my thoughts, she was going terribly overboard -like a runaway train in suspicion..... but yet...not matter what advice she got...THIS was HOW SHE FELT, there was no budging. It was the craziest thing....

I guess we all see life through certain lenses. And certain things are unbending, wearing your wedding ring is one of them...for some. Though I am thankful me & mine don't have this particular hang up.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

A ring means nothing, really. I've seen men out at a bar chatting up women while wearing their wedding rings. 

I wear mine because I like jewelry. H doesn't wear his often because he hates anything on his hands and he works on cars so there's the danger factor. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I know we're married. HE knows we're married. And we behave as such.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> Would it be really wrong to wear it in front of her and take it off when she's not around? I really do have a weird hatred of wearing rings. She dosnt make a huge argument out of it, but has said she wants me to wear it. I'm thinking it just part of her insecurity


And if she happened to show up somewhere to surprise you and you weren't wearing the ring?

I wear mine on a chain around my neck because my hands have some kind of outbreak (doc said eczema, but I'm not so certain)...I do it because if the symbolism behind the rings.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> And if she happened to show up somewhere to surprise you and you weren't wearing the ring?
> 
> I wear mine on a chain around my neck because my hands have some kind of outbreak (doc said eczema, but I'm not so certain)...I do it because if the symbolism behind the rings.


That's what I would be worried about, because she would then think I was up to no good.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Tall Average Guy said:


> I think this is wrong on two fronts:
> 
> 1. You are not being honest and avoiding conflict. My assumption is that you would not tell her you are not wearing when she is not around. So rather than hurt her feelings, you are being dishonest. That is a bad habit to get into.
> 
> 2. You are judging her based on a disagreeing with you. You opinions differ, so hers must be due to insecurity. Why? Why can't she just have a different view that is not tainted with judgement? You need to be willing to accept that she has different opinions that are not necessarily morally inferior to yours.


It is at least part down to insecurity, I have a thread about how insecure my wife can be. My only reason for not wearing it, is that I hate how they feel

I don't want to have to lie to her, but it's only to save her feelings, what she dosnt know won't hurt her


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Get a tattoo on your ring finger. 










Problem solved. My BIL did this because he can't wear rings to work. I know it's permanent and all...so...I dunno.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

that girl this guys wife is so insecure I don't think even a permanent tattoo will make her feel better about his committment to her.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Get a tattoo on your ring finger.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ha, that's actually not a bad idea, I would rather do this. My wife wouldn't even think about it though, but I could.


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

I have worn mine for 35 years. I automatically assumed my wife would want to wear hers (which she very much does - has not removed it since our wedding day I believe). I reckoned that I could not expect her to do something like that without doing the same myself. Found it a little uncomfortable to begin with (never having worn a ring before). Would not be without it now.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You could do it. It won't help her insecurities, but then you wouldn't have to wear your ring.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

that_girl said:


> You could do it. It won't help her insecurities, but then you wouldn't have to wear your ring.


Win/win I like it.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

I like as well! I think it looks cool. Not sure how she will react though. Never would have thought of that, thanks! @ that girl.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

My husband never ever wore jewelry the entire time I've known him.

Since we've been married he has never taken his ring off. Not because I've asked him to wear it...he made that choice.

I know it bothered him at first..but he dealt with it and now he doesn't even know its there cause he's used to it.


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## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

My husband and I are newlyweds so we're still excited about wearing our rings. In the future if he didn't want to wear his because it's uncomfortable or whatever, I wouldn't mind at all. On the other hand, if I didn't want to wear mine but I knew it was THAT important to him that I wear it, I think I would just do it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

A piece like that could cost maybe 50 bucks or so....you can design it yourself, or look at their choices. Should take maybe an hour or so. 

I'd do it if I could show tats at work...lol.


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## Nigel (Mar 14, 2012)

I've lost two wedding rings and I'm on to my third. I hate wearing it when I'm at the gym because it rubs up and down and gives me painful calluses. My wife likes me to wear it though. I think it's a commitment Thing with her. I think she wants other women to know I'm married and to stay away. I'm happy with that, if it makes her happy. I'm not bothered the other way she can wear hers or not, it doesn't have any bearing on how I feel about her.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My friend had more women hit on him at bars when he wore a fake ring. He's not even married, but he said it works like a charm.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> A piece like that could cost maybe 50 bucks or so....you can design it yourself, or look at their choices. Should take maybe an hour or so.
> 
> I'd do it if I could show tats at work...lol.


Ive had a look online at some designs. Think the simple black band one looks good, giving this serious consideration. Wonder how she will react lol


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I feel its important to wear I too am one of those guys that doesnt like alot of jewelry and it took some time for me to get used to having it on however due to my job when i first started i was working on computer hardware (motherboards) and it is dangerous to wear gold or silver around electricty as i didnt want to lose a finger so i would take it off for work but as soon as i got in my car and headed home i would put it back on nowadays i am a manager and not working on the equipment as i once did i wear it all the time


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

That tattoo idea is awesome, I'm so doing that. She can't say anything then lol


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

To me, the symbolism of a wedding ring is very important. I wore mine every single day for 19 years, 5 months. Only took it off for the shower. My wife wore hers most of the time, but would often take it off for work and not put it back on for a while. Then she lost a small diamond (not the main stone) and stopped wearing it all together.

Starting about 2000 we had about a 10 year nearly sexless period. Around 2010 it slowly started to come back but we were still only once every 4-6 weeks. In January of this year I passive aggressively left my ring on the bathroom counter for the first time ever. When I got home from work I saw that she had moved it in such a way that I couldn't miss it. She obviously noticed that I had left it. So, I didn't touch it. It stayed there for 3 days. She finally put it into a drawer, but never said anything about it.

Anyway, things have improved 1000% for us since then. That was a dark time for us. We've actually both went out and bought new rings for each other for our upcoming 20th anniversary later this month. Honestly, I would put my ring back on now, but I'm not going to until she gets her new ring in a few weeks. Never again will I wear a ring if she isn't also wearing one. The symbolism of both of us being fully IN our marriage and being fully committed to every aspect of it is too powerful.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

I hope she dosnt see this as me showing my youth though, I genuinely like the tattoo idea.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> I hope she dosnt see this as me showing my youth though, I genuinely like the tattoo idea.


I'd check before you do this. While I think it's a good idea I don't like tattoo's. Nothing against them it's just not something I personally would like. I'm not a tattoo kinda girl regardless of where/what it is.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> I'd check before you do this. While I think it's a good idea I don't like tattoo's. Nothing against them it's just not something I personally would like. I'm not a tattoo kinda girl regardless of where/what it is.


I'm not big into them either, but I think a thin black band would look good, I'd be ok with that. I think I'm just going to go for it lol.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

My parents don't wear their wedding rings. It's just not important to them. So I get that for some couples it's not a big deal however it should be a joint decision. 

It's very important to me and my husband that we wear our rings. It's not a meaningless piece of jewelry to us. When I put that ring on his finger, it meant something to me. Sure people cheat with their rings on, but that doesn't mean we should all stop wearing it because some people don't take their vows seriously. If that's the logic why bother doing anything at all since a few bad apples don't do the right thing anyway. 

I would be hurt if my husband stopped wearing his ring altogether. I'm not talking about taking it off to take a bath or do a medical test where jewelry can't be worn. If he wholesale decided he didn't want some visible indicator of his marital status, I'd have a problem with it. Please don't bother to tell me to suck it up because I won't. We got him a plain gold band that's comfortable to wear so he's fine wearing it. We got my ring at a store that's no longer in business. I still remember saving up for the ring, going to the store, having the immigrant owners show us a selection of rings in our price point. I remember the feeling of wearing the ring for the first time. We've made enough now to buy a bigger diamond but I like the ring I have. It reminds me of the old broke days we lived and how far we've come. 



Wrongdoer said:


> I don't want to have to lie to her, but it's only to save her feelings, what she dosnt know won't hurt her


That's a bad way of approaching things. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her" is a slippery slope. Be careful you don't apply that to other parts of your marriage as well.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

I do see what you're saying, I think I've found a nice compromise though. Hope she likes it!


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

@ that girl, I'm so blaming you if this goes pear shaped lol


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lol and if you ever get divorced you can just cut your finger off.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> lol and if you ever get divorced you can just cut your finger off.


Ha, it will just have to stay. I'm well up for getting it done though. It's the perfect answer really. Won't have to think about it again.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mine belonged to my Dad who enjoyed 54 years of loving marriage. My STBXW wanted to wear my Mothers diamond-studded wedding band as well as her diamond solitare. Even though I am separated, I continue to wear Dad's band simply as a tribute to his and Mom's marriage, and will do so up until the gavel sounds to end my own marriage. After the divorce, I'm hoping to recover both of my Mother's rings.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Excited about this now.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Beautiful Wedding Ring Tattoos


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Don't blame me! LOL!

I, personally, would like it if my husband HATED wearing his wedding ring, and I wanted him to wear one, but then he got a tat of one. It would show me that he is committed, but just doesn't like jewelry.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

There are no rings on my finger.
When I tell women that I have been married like 17 years they always tell me I'm lying.
If they continue hitting,
I simply tell them that I am still enjoying wild sex with my wife......
Works like magic.

I don't think wearing a ring keeps off women.
The only thing makes women back down is when you tell them directly that you don't want / need the sex they have to offer.

Like I said,
It works everytime for me.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Beautiful Wedding Ring Tattoos


Think I was looking at the same site, Might get the simple black ring tatoo one, looks quite cool. Can't wait to see the look on her face lol.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> Think I was looking at the same site, Might get the simple black ring tatoo one, looks quite cool. Can't wait to see the look on her face lol.


I'm not usually a tat lover, but think a few of those ring tats look very tasteful.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> I'm not usually a tat lover, but think a few of those ring tats look very tasteful.


Yeah I'm the same, looking forward to this though, hope it isn't painful lol. Never have to worry about it again then.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

So I'm going to get this done at the weekend. Hope it goes well!


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Bit nervous about her reaction, but ive decided to get this done. Hope she likes it. Going to het in done quick before I chance my mind


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

When I was married I never took mine off. It felt odd when I first got it but after some time it felt odd when I didn't have it on. I know in some professions it's prohibited to wear at work (i.e. operating certain types of machinery etc) so I can understands that as an excuse. 

Go figure my now ex didn't wear hers regularly and she was the one who strayed.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

When we first married 18 years ago this week, I refused to wear mine. I never wore any jewlery and thought it was not necessary to prove my love. After a few years of her mentioning it I started wearing it and it was a fixture.

When she seperated from me last November, she removed it and would not put it back on for months. I thought it was a very important sign that we were both trying and still committed. She eventually did and we are back together.

Tables turn. Just do it!


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

My wife puts a lot of importance on the wedding ring, I'm hoping my gesture will please her.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Is she a fan of Tatoos? If Not, think twice.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

This is me said:


> Is she a fan of Tatoos? If Not, think twice.


It's just going to be a simple thin black band, nothing corny or major, I think it will look good. Think she will like it. She is a traditional lady though, she has always says she likes that I'm a bit unpredictable at times. So here goes!


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Oh but you said traditional. I guess if it fails you can put a traditional ring over it. You know like the kind they bless in church.


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

This is me said:


> Oh but you said traditional. I guess if it fails you can put a traditional ring over it. You know like the kind they bless in church.


I hate rings, can't wear them, so I'm doing it this way


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## Wrongdoer (Aug 2, 2012)

Going to get it done now. Eek


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> Going to get it done now. Eek


Photograph and W's reaction, please!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Pics, or it didn't happen!


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## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

I wear my wedding band, engagement ring, and promise ring he gave me. I love all my rings because they mean so much to me. The only time I ever take them off is when I take a shower (sometimes I even forget to take them off I'm so used to wearing them.) My husband always wears his except in the shower and I believe he takes it off at work because he deals with meat and machines. Safety stuff I believe. Anyways, personally I would get upset if he ever forgot his ring when we go out. And I feel naked without mine so.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I believe that the wearing of a wedding band is very important. I want the whole world to know that I'm married and firmly committed to one special woman who feels much the same way about me by proudly wearing hers.

Now I know why my STBXW stopped wearing hers some 2-3 years ago as it greatly helped her in her adulterous pursuits. And I still wear mine and will continue to do so only up until the time that the presiding judge finally sees fit to dissolve the union.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Wrongdoer said:


> I don't like wearing one, purely because it uncomfortable, and I don't like wearing rings. My wife wants me to have it on, she never takes hers off, but she is comfortable with them.
> 
> I don't see the big deal, she says things like " it's so people know you are married". My feeling is that everyone we know already knows that, I know it, why is it important for strangers to know it as well. Anyone else not wear there's?


I always wear my ring. I was never much of a jewelry person in the beginning, so it was definitely something I had to get used to. I don't wear earrings, necklaces, bracelets, etc., only on special occasions(even then it's a maybe). BUT I think it is important to wear my ring. I am proud of being married to my husband and want others to know I am married. I also love seeing men wear their wedding rings and my husband always wears his, which makes me happy. My dad never wore his ring, but then again my parents don't have the best marriage. Within the people I know personally, not saying this is true for all people, but those who have better relationships/marriages tend to wear their rings from what I have noticed.


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

My husband work as metal fabricator and welder. He can't wear his ring to work.


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## independentgirl (Nov 14, 2014)

Wear it! It is very important!

I am not married nor engage. But my boyfriend and I wore our 'promise ring'. It was his idea, to show that we are in a monogamous committed relationship.
I'm sure part of it is due to he knows my insecurity, and he just want to make me feel more secure. And I'm thankful for the effort he puts in.


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