# Jumping from the fire to the frying pan



## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

A question for men:
I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in? 
Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
But stays there every day & night ?

Why do men do this ??


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

While there are many good (and even great) men aroung, we unfortunately have more than our fair share of a$$holes! Sorry on behalf of all men.


----------



## hoblob (Mar 28, 2018)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...


Umm plenty of women leave men to move in with other men.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

My guess is that the relationship started while you 2 were still in one as well. The reason a low life like that would do it is because he probably has just been biding his time til it happened and when the moment it could physically or legally happen, it did.

Do you have kids together? If so, please make sure that there's something in the temporary order that keeps GF away from them til a certain amount of time.


----------



## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...


Because they are stupid. Some women do the same thing. 

Don't want to be alone, they were having an affair so they just have them move in, and a hundred other reasons. 

Basically, it boils down to stupidity...


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

To distract yourself from having to feel the full emotions of divorce. It's using the new person as a drug.


----------



## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

Townes said:


> To distract yourself from having to feel the full emotions of divorce. It's using the new person as a drug.




For how long? 
It’s hurtful 
He cheated on me w strippers & now I’m the bad guy


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## President_Not_Sure (Feb 28, 2018)

Interesting question. You filed for divorce according to your post. Why? That may give more incite into your STBEH's actions. It is possible that he wants to try to hurt you in some way. It could be that this is his way of dealing with you filing for divorce. Without the full history of the situation we, men, cannot give a reasonable explanation for his actions. Even with the history we can't tell exactly why he is doing what he is doing. 

I reject the idea that all men do this as much as I reject that all women do the same thing. This isnt about "men". This is about one man whom you are divorcing. Honestly, what do you care what he does if you're divorcing him? 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


----------



## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

President_Not_Sure said:


> Interesting question. You filed for divorce according to your post. Why? That may give more incite into your STBEH's actions. It is possible that he wants to try to hurt you in some way. It could be that this is his way of dealing with you filing for divorce. Without the full history of the situation we, men, cannot give a reasonable explanation for his actions. Even with the history we can't tell exactly why he is doing what he is doing.
> 
> I reject the idea that all men do this as much as I reject that all women do the same thing. This isnt about "men". This is about one man whom you are divorcing. Honestly, what do you care what he does if you're divorcing him?
> 
> Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk




I caught him with a stripper at a motel - then found out he had several girls he met with from time to time over the years ...
I gave him 2 months to prove he could be faithful & he failed 
So I filed & he got pissed



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> For how long?
> It’s hurtful
> He cheated on me w strippers & now I’m the bad guy
> 
> ...


Understandable that you feel hurt by it. Since you're getting divorced though, you'll have to start working on detaching and not worrying about what he's doing. It will take time of course. 

Don't get hung up on feeling like he needs to suffer because you're the good guy and he's the bad guy. That still gives him power over your happiness. Don't worry about justice being served. Just go live a fabulous life.


----------



## President_Not_Sure (Feb 28, 2018)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> For how long?
> It’s hurtful
> He cheated on me w strippers & now I’m the bad guy
> 
> ...


I was typing my response when you wrote this so forgive my out of order response.

He cheated on you. Period. He has moved the girl in, most likely, to hurt you further. Even though he is in the wrong, he cheated, he wil still feel betrayed because you filed for divorce instead of forgiving him. You don't owe him forgiveness. You don't owe him the time of day and you definitely need to take back control of your emotions. Right now he is controlling your emotions and you're letting him. 

He isnt worth spit to you anymore. Dating strippers? How cliche can he get? Look on the bright side. Karma will give him his due. He has a high probablility of acquiring numerous STDs, having a coked up stripper take him for all he owns and end up a sad, lonely, broke and broken man. You on the other hand will be clear of this disasterpiece and will find someone who loves you enough to be faithful.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


----------



## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

If she is a stripper maybe you can get her to pay half the rent.


----------



## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...


You're divorcing him, so what he does after you've filed doesn't matter. You have chosen to move on.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Apparently you are having some difficulty understanding what divorce means. Divorce means he can't cheat on you any more because there is no contract to breach. You have no say in who he sleeps with, where he works, what he does on weekend, where he goes on vacation. You get to NOT worry about that any more. You are not the "bad Guy" You are the strong woman Who pulled out the plug and let that filthy mess go down the drain. It's no longer your problem. Not your circus, Not your monkey.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...





Uhenrcx0531 said:


> *I caught him with a stripper at a motel - then found out he had several girls he met with from time to time over the years ...
> I gave him 2 months to prove he could be faithful & he failed *
> So I filed & he got pissed
> 
> ...


Why do men do this? That is the wrong question. The Correct question is why do men like this do this?

You already know the answer he is a serial cheater and can't be trusted to be faithful.

That kind of man has no shame, the thrill of cheating is more important than you feelings, than hurting you, than what other people think of him or you.

You know the answer.

Read up on the stages of grieving. You need to work through your anger phase and move toward acceptance. He isn't worth being angry about, he is now someone else's problem. Don't even think of him as your husband think of him as a bad mistake you once made. Grieve the loss of your marriage and learn from your mistake. Move forward and you will be much happier.


----------



## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You may not see that your filing for divorce as positive in light of his scum bag behavior but in actuality you took control. Yes it’s hard to deal with his behavior in the past and now. 

Understand that your move was preemptive in protecting yourself. You will drive yourself nuts if you keep asking why??? There is no answer that will make your heart be calm.

I have been in your shoes, not strippers but escorts. Same ole same ole.

As I have been told, get your stuff taken care of. You can cry later. Keep any records you have for the divorce. 

Remember it’s not your fault, you married a damaged person... this is not of your doing.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> *A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...


*Primarily, for the very same reason that a lot of women subscribe to this same modus operandi!

Please rest assured that this is not solely a "man thing" to do!

Cheating knows no gender preferences!*


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> For how long?
> It’s hurtful
> He cheated on me w strippers & now I’m the bad guy
> 
> ...


Why did you move out? 

Was it in the separation paperwork or did you just move out?

I can understand how it hurts you. Many on here have been through something similar to you. Here you are loving your husband thinking things are ok then the floor falls out from underneath your feet. The world as you knew it is gone. 

Your thinking how could he move on so fast. 

What you are failing to realize is that he moved on years ago. He is indifferent to you now when you are still reeling for his cheating. 

He could do what he did because he left the marriage a long time ago.


----------



## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

* 0531
he had several girls he met with from time to time over the years ...
I gave him 2 months to prove he could be faithful & he failed
So I filed & he got pissed* 

You did the right thing so forget about what he did or is doing. Your goal is to get away from this creep. Let him wallow in the mud with anyone he chooses.


----------



## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> A question for men:
> I recently filed for divorce & the day I moved out my husband had a woman move in?
> Not officially w/ furniture... etc..
> But stays there every day & night ?
> ...


You filed for divorce... why wouldn't he do this?


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Why? Same reason women do -- because they can. 

I remember your original thread. You believed his lies when everyone said get out and so he ended up playing you. Unfortunately that often happens when you try to R with a serial cheater. Yes, it hurts but you move on anyway.


----------

