# WHEN to tell kids & other family members about separation?



## ResignedWife (Jan 20, 2017)

My husband and I have decided to file for legal separation sometime in the next several months. As stated in my original introduction thread on another forum here, it will be an amicable divorce as we are still friends and the separation was 100% a mutual decision and not due to any foul play by either party.

We have two kids, in middle school. Telling them will be hard because my husband and I are conflict-free. We do not fight, do not have outward-showing problems with each other. We've just grown apart and the type of love we have for each other is not the kind that should keep two people married. That's it, plain and simple.

We plan on putting the house on the market around June, once school ends. So we'll still be living together as a family unit up until the time the house successfully closes and we can buy separate properties from the sale proceeds. 

But I wonder WHEN we should tell the kids that we are separation? I know HOW we should tell them - I've read all the articles on telling them together (no problem), not assigning blame (there is none), that they are loved (they are), it's not their fault (it's not), not getting over-emotional about it, etc. 

Now?
After the first meeting with the mediator (next month)?
When we begin packing up the house to get it ready for sale?
When we're finally ready to put the home on the market (around the time the school year ends)?

Secondary to that - HOW did you tell your extended families of the impending separation? Our families think my husband and I are a model couple (that's what happens when you and your spouse never argue or disagree about anything and all the in-laws get along with each other).


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