# I can't believe he said this...



## crazycat25 (Mar 31, 2011)

My husband has had anger management issues. Ie. Getting mad about a situation while out to dinner and raising his voice so loud.. Customers would stare and say "boy I guess you had a bad day". He can be volatile. Well he got mad at me because I caught him in a lie. He was back tracking off of something and I flat out .. Called him on it. He went off on me and said I was a "psycho bit&ch". And THEN said I should seriously consider never reproducing again .. Because I'm so psycho crazy. I was in shock. He later apologized but said he didn't like it when I get so focused on ridiculous details (ie that reveal his lies). 

How do I even move on from this? I am so sad and stunned. I am a good woman and mom. Not a psycho!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Tell him to move out unless he gets intensive therapy.

That is not OK!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Behavior like this... is unaceptable! You are witnessing a progression of aggression on his part. Right now he's giving you mental and emotional abuse. Next is physical. Things like this, only get worse... not better. Either try to get him to seek help about his situation, which most likely he won't consider doing, or else you have to inform him that you will not be staying in the same household if you continues to treat you this way. In other words... one more time to "go there" and you are out of the door!!!


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Definitely not ok...does he lie alot, what about? why?


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Think more of yourself and kids, and get out of this situation. NO one deserves to be treated like that or talked to that way.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Is this the first time he's talked to you this way, or is it a pattern?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You can't be a psycho beotch. My wife is and she says you're never at the meetings.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> You can't be a psycho beotch. My wife is and she says you're never at the meetings.


:rofl:


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> You can't be a psycho beotch. My wife is and she says you're never at the meetings.


:rofl: You're to much!


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## crazycat25 (Mar 31, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> :rofl: You're to much!


Thank you all for your feedback. My hubby is just an odd ball. He's gotten very into bragging etc. He will lie... By saying ... (boasting) yeah I bought their dinner last night... Or "it doesn't feel right to let anyone pay for their own drink". He says "if I see a woman at a bar about to pay a tab.. I won't let her... Because I feel bad". This is something that he seems to get a high off of. Makes him feel important. It drives me crazy! So I will say WHY did you have to buy everyone's dinner last night... AGAIN. 

When we were dating I thought it was sweet. That is until I realized it wasn't sweet it was his feeding his ego. He doesn't like it when I say no...or question him. He just hates it when anyone questions him.

I think he has a mental illness ... Definitely a narcissist according to my therapist. It's very frustrating. He once told me that his ex fiancé would say means things like "where were you.. Outside fuc((ing little boys?". I would just be appalled that she would say these things!?! Now... I recognize that he probably drove her insane with his anger and selfishness. I feel I'm headed down the same road...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> You can't be a psycho beotch. My wife is and she says you're never at the meetings.


Runs, you did it again.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Neurosis is not communicable but you are at risk of negative effects from verbal abuse. At the very least you need an apology, unconditional admission of what has been done, and sincere contrition.
In the longer term you need him to admit that this is a problem and the two of you need to agree on a program to get it to stop.
Verbal abuse is not victimless
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

crazycat25 said:


> Thank you all for your feedback. My hubby is just an odd ball. He's gotten very into bragging etc. He will lie... By saying ... (boasting) yeah I bought their dinner last night... Or "it doesn't feel right to let anyone pay for their own drink". He says "if I see a woman at a bar about to pay a tab.. I won't let her... Because I feel bad". This is something that he seems to get a high off of. Makes him feel important. It drives me crazy! So I will say WHY did you have to buy everyone's dinner last night... AGAIN.
> 
> When we were dating I thought it was sweet. That is until I realized it wasn't sweet it was his feeding his ego. He doesn't like it when I say no...or question him. He just hates it when anyone questions him.
> 
> ...


No, your husband is not an odd ball. He is a control freak and abusive. He is a narcissist as you said.

How he talked to you is NOT okay. 

Why do you put up with it?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Your husband it's an "oddball", he is an NPD a$$hole who feeds off of feeling important to the detriment of you. His reaction to you calling him out on his lies is case and point. You cornered him with the truth and he didn't like it. It took him out of Mr. Self Important Zone. 
I would strongly suggest that you consider your options. As Rob said, this will only get worse.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> You can't be a psycho beotch. My wife is and she says you're never at the meetings.


Someone needs to take all of Runs' short quotes and compile them into a coffee table humor book


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

MGirl said:


> Someone needs to take all of Runs' short quotes and compile them into a coffee table humor book


I laugh every time I read something witty by him and then look at that avi of the puppy who looks like he just peed on something he wasn't supposed to.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

Brennan said:


> I laugh every time I read something witty by him and then look at that avi of the puppy who looks like he just peed on something he wasn't supposed to.


:rofl::rofl:

That puppy is freaking adorable 

We are undoubtedly inflating his ego, though.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I have been married for 28 years, most good, some bad, 2 real bad.
I have never called my wife a name in anger, I have never cursed at her in anger.

That behavior is completely unacceptable.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

crazycat25 said:


> My husband has had anger management issues. Ie. Getting mad about a situation while out to dinner and raising his voice so loud.. Customers would stare and say "boy I guess you had a bad day". He can be volatile. Well he got mad at me because I caught him in a lie. He was back tracking off of something and I flat out .. Called him on it. He went off on me and said I was a "psycho bit&ch". And THEN said I should seriously consider never reproducing again .. Because I'm so psycho crazy. I was in shock. He later apologized but said he didn't like it when I get so focused on ridiculous details (ie that reveal his lies).
> 
> How do I even move on from this? I am so sad and stunned. I am a good woman and mom. Not a psycho!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Huh? Really? I have no problem believing that the guy who had you fly by yourself to another city for major surgery, expected you to come back and take care of his mother a week after that surgery and pitched a fit when you hired a nurse to help you post-op would say something like that.

I personally think you move on from this by moving his stuff into a suitcase that gets moved onto the porch. Your other posts seem to make it clear that he has no interest in changing, so any change or improvement in the circumstances will be up to you, really.

And you are absolutely a good woman and a good mom! You'd have to be to deal with his outbursts and raise children in that environment in the kind of loving and stable way that it sounds like you have!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

It is not an apology when there is a "but" attached. He just turned it back on you--it was your fault he did it. Ugh. 

Is he at all willing to go to counseling? I doubt it--and I would be that even if he did, he would find something wrong with the therapist, and the next one, and the one after that, and then he'd decide it wasn't him, it was just you, b/c only crazy people listen to therapists anyway, who are just trying to get your money by pretending to help, blah, blah, blah. 

A person who cannot admit to their own weaknesses is a difficult person to love--because s/he has absolutely no ability to tolerate a vision of her/himself as less-than-perfect. If s/he were to try, they fear crumbling into nothingness. There are deep issues underlying this incredibly fragile sense of self (the boasting is all bravado, not real self-confidence at all). He may never confront the issues. Think long and hard about the future. Maybe start planning your exit. Just the knowledge that you could go, someday, if you wanted to, may make you deal with him more decisively and more successfully. If not--well, you have the exit plan to execute when you are ready. Good luck.


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