# Found sexual pics/text with another man on her phone. It's OVER!



## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

I posted here 2.5 years ago when I found that my girlfriend had been having an emotional affair via text.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted.html

First of all... You were all right, of course! And I didn't want to admit it to myself at the time. I only posted twice, but did read all of the comments. I've also lurked and read from time to time over the years. As much as I didn't want to believe it, most of what you guys said was accurate. But we started going to counseling, and I stayed with her until now. It's been rocky, and I've been let down/outraged several times over honesty issues. Yet stuck around, I guess because I'm stupid, lazy, scared, or all of the above.

Anyways today I got home and she'd gone to run an errand and forgot her phone. I took a look at it and immediately found a guy I didn't know in her messaging app. There were only messages from today; they said:

her 3:29pm - Hi

him 3:30pm - Hey baby
him 3:32pm - Call

her 3:33pm - In 10-15min

him 3:34pm - Sweet
him 3:34pm - Call me
him 5x (4:01, 4:01, 4:02, 4:03, 5:20) - [assorted pics of his hairy, disgusting junk]

Despite any previous messages having been deleted, I was able to look through the logs/history and saw that there had been a 9min phone call at 3:57 pm, and 18 msgs back and forth between them from ~9:30am to 11:10am, and 8 msgs yesterday.

I sent some messages using her phone, something about "the last pic I sent him", and got confirmation that she has sent him pics (though apparently she already deleted those. (I've found plenty of nude selfies of her on her phone and never thought much of them because she sends them to me (too, apparently... )

I got on her facebook and found messages between the two of them dated 3/20. This was right at the time when the power button of her phone was going out (I bought a new one and in a few days when it arrived, I took apart her phone, soldered in the new one, and it was fixed.)

Here's what the messages said:

her: Hey something is seriously wrong with my phone!!
him: I know what do you think it might be is there a warrenty [sic]
her: I have no idea but for the short term, no messages, ok?
him: ok no worries but that is going to suck! going to miss you
her: me tooooooo!!!!! hopefully i can figure it out. low_n_ohio is really good at these things so between the two of us I think there will be hope for it

Clearly she was worried about him sending messages after her phone was completely inoperable with her unable to delete them, then me repairing the phone and finding them before she had a chance to delete. This also shows he knew about me (which he denied when I texted him from my number and straight up asked him.) Also, they've been inappropriately chatting for weeks at a minimum. BTW he lives a few states away and they met on a business trip a few months ago. I don't think there's been anything physical, but I don't trust anything now.

-----------

This is so disgusting, gut wrenching, and downright sh**ty!!! Don't worry, I have no delusions. I am COMPLETELY DONE WITH HER! Thank god I kept the doubt in my mind these past couple years and didn't marry her.

Right now I want to post the pics I took of her phone showing the messages and the proof of further messaging, as well as the pic I took of the facebook messages. I want to expose her to everyone. But I wonder if it's a bad idea to do so; what negative repercussions could come of it?

Also, while not married we live together and have for years now. I pay for almost everything, though. I bought the house with no help whatsoever from her, and I pay for everything except for the water/electric/gas. I've even paid her car note a few times recently because she's been low on money, and I actually paid the utilities last time (a couple/few months worth) when they were really past due. Also, her mom is currently staying with us for care after a hip surgery. BTW I showed her mom the messages and she was disgusted, as well. She says she doesn't understand, because she always speaks highly of me and about how she really wants to work out all of our issues and she only wants to be with me.

What's the best way to separate our lives?

This just sucks. I'm getting older (35) and I'm ready for marriage and to have kids. I really wanted it to be with her, because she has so many good qualities, and they're really good! But this dishonesty/cheating is a dealbreaker. I feel like it's back to the starting board and I'm running out of time if I want kids...

But like I said, I'm done with her, so despite those feelings I WILL move on.

So I guess to sum it up I have 3 questions:
1. What do you think about a facebook exposure; any negative repercussions?
2. What's the best way to separate our lives considering the above details?
3. This sucks! I hate feeling like this and having to "get back in the game", and scared of not being with her. I know the memories of all the good times are going to tear me apart as they come. Not really a question, I guess...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Just going to say again that based on responses in your other thread I don't think you've got it in you to kick her and her mother out. I hope you do but you sure don't act like it.


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## Luvmyjava (Feb 9, 2014)

And the reason why you need to discuss this further is?....

A) Lucky it's a GF and nothing more
B) You own the house

You deserve NOT to be doing this..

Just say goodbye, and let her move out.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

low_n_ohio said:


> What's the best way to separate our lives?


Boot her out. Why do you need to spend money on her when the OM should? You aren't married, you are lucky. Never love someone who can't be loyal to you.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Luvmyjava said:


> And the reason why you need to discuss this further is?....
> 
> A) Lucky it's a GF and nothing more
> B) You own the house
> ...


Consider yourself very lucky you didn't marry her.
Set your terms keep the house or you will expose everything.
I may be a softie but I would let her mother heal but would let her know why you are leaving her.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

You do this. Sit her down and tell her that you know what's going on, you saw the texts, the pictures of his junk and she needs to pack her things and move out. 

Don't give her a chance to explain because you know it's BS and it's nothing but a stall tactic. Give her notice that she's gone and the only thing you have to do is muster the back bone and let it out. Don't fall for the tears because their not real and neither will her story she tries to sell you.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You tell her you know and that she and her mom need to leave in a day or a week or a month -- whatever it is that you are comfortable with. But make it happen.


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## jack.c (Sep 7, 2013)

So why dont you send her a text with your dxc and write down: guess this was'nt enough for you!
also add on the bottom line your sxit is already out the door, and dont bother reaching out at me unless you want all your pics send to your family!


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

It makes it easier to give advice when the BS knows what he wants to do, and is doing the right thing.

In regards to exposure, I wouldn't go beyond just letting your family and hers know the basics. You don't need to show them any evidence.You're not trying to convince them to intervene.

As for as her, be calm, tell her what you found, tell her to move out. Give her a time frame that's reasonable, but as soon as possible.

It might not be a bad idea to talk to an attorney if there's a possibility that she can claim you're common law married.

But otherwise, DO NOT get angry at her and DO NOT get in a back and fourth with her. Stay away from her as much as possible until she leaves.

And this time, listen to what we say.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Let's see today is Friday... Perfect. Drive her and mother back to mother's home. Get them out NOW. Mom can't travel due to hip surgery? Then have her call an ambulance service to get her removed.

Don't fret being "back in the game." single guy, in your 30s? Enjoy yourself.

Post them both on cheatervile.com. Do not embellish. Do not post naked pics

Update your status on Facebook to single. People will comment. Explain however much or little you want to. Do not post naked pictures.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

you should have talked to a lawyer before telling her mother...

Common law might entitle her to your money..


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

If they met in private, they had sex,.. ur still holding on. Great news, ur not married, stay away from her, she will try to get preg with u. Bail out NOW!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Ohio isn't a common law marriage state, according to Wikipedia anyway 

So there is a break for OP.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Ohio,

I am going to be direct and very blunt here. You are dating a lazy, entitled woman who is using you has a beta male provider. 

You pay all the bills, and she returns the favor by cheating on you.

You are also living in a fantasy that someone like her would be satisfied with only having EA's. She is and has PHYSICALLY cheated on you.

You make the money. 
You own the house. 
You are not married. 
You have no kids with her.

Tell her to leave YOUR HOUSE ASAP. 

Start fresh, work on yourself. Get in shape if you are not already.

At 35 years old, the world can still be your Oyster, so pick up a fork and dig in !

But you have to throw away the leftovers in the fridge that went bad first !


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Well, Barbados hit the nail on the head. You are her "Beta Orbiter". You are her Welfare Check. You are her DoorMat! OK, that's the bad news.

The good news is, YOU ARE NOT MARRIED to the BIT$H. YEAYEAYEA! Tell her that DAVID said "Time to hit the bricks, this is not working out, I need space, you need to go. I will give you and your Mom 6 hours to vacate! Bye Bye! Blame me. I will send you my phone number she can talk to me! Good life!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

As I said on the other thread: 

Get a large rental unit (you pay for three months). Get your friends and move the mass of her dad's stuff out of your place. Don't tell her you are doing this. This bit of reality will make her see you are serious.

Since you have a relationship with the mother too, allow her to heal up according to doctor's perspective and add a week or so. THAT is the deadline.

Secure any of your valuables and get a new set of locks for installing as soon as her butt is out the door. If you have any broken window locks, secure them in case she tries to come back or tells some teen about how to break in your house.

Separate your cell accounts.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Sorry you are here and be grateful you are not married and no kids. Tell her calmly to get out. You are done. 

she has been using you as the stable guy that will take care of her. The other guy is what she wants but he is not the provider she is looking for. 

I would giver her a day or two to get out but that is it. Sorry brother


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You may well have the intuition that they have met several states away and have not done anything... don't bet on it! With lurid, flirty, and leading language like that, you can richly take it the bank that they are doing the "horizontal bop" whenever they happen to get together!

You have the evidence in hand, and as such you know what needs to be done! Not only is she playing you for a fool, but she's pissing all over your shoes and politely telling you it's only a spring shower!*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I agree with Mahike. She sees you as a sugardaddy. 

When you confront her she will tell you it meant nothing, she loves you, blah...blah... rubbish...rubbish...

Or she will blame you for not paying attention to her and meeting your needs. 

Just prepare for it. 

Get rid of her. She and her mother have freeloaded off you enough.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

They send naked pics, met up but didn't do anything.....?!?!

Do you think that's really air you're breathing? (matrix reference)

OF COURSE THEY DID SOMETHING.

You're 35 and getting ready for marriage....AWESOME, so why waste your time on a woman who isn't worth marrying. Drop her and go find a REAL WIFE!!!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I found this in your other thread



> I'm already mad because it's not cool to disappear without communication, especially when we had plans. Our friends are worried (accident?); I tell them I'm not, this is typical. She's probably doing something or with someone that she doesn't want me to know about. They can't believe it. Finally she calls back halfway through the movie but I let it go to voicemail, finish the evening with friends, and go home. Turns out I called it; she ran into an old friend of hers with whom she'd had sex a handful of times, he invited her to drinks at a neighborhood restaurant, and she went.


She was having physical affairs...It might not have been her old f*ckbuddy either..Very likely that she and the OM met locally at a hotel. She covered up lie with another slightly convincing lie( She know that you know she is guilty. So she told you she met an old FWB. A bad thing but not as bad as meeting her lover and having sex with him. )

If it matters now, you can try to ask her about it. If you plan to reconcile, definitely ask her about it.


And tell her to stop drinking in the house until she moves out. Tough love.


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

warlock07 said:


> I found this in your other thread
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Probability of a physical affair: 100%. 

Get checked for creepy-crawlies, OP. Then go scorched earth. Cut all support (physical, emotional, and financial) and boot this chick to the curb. She has played you for a patsy for years.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She has been playing you for a fool and if you remain with her that she would have been correct. If you don't think they got physical when they met a few months then I have a bridge to sell you. I suggest you get tested for STD's and then kick her out. She clearly has no respect for you what-so-ever.
IF YOU DO NOT RESPECT YOURSELF THEN WHO WILL? Enough is enough.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

pack her **** and put it on the porch...change the locks...

why is this not common sense??


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You may want to talk to a lawyer or the local landlord/tenant board. Just because it's your house and you're not married doesn't mean she doesn't have rights. Around here, people can get away without paying their rent for months while "proper process" is followed. You may indeed get away with telling her to get out today, tomorrow, next week... But she may have the right to say no, she's going to stay till it's convenient. 

Just trying to be a voice of reason... I'd be giving her a very short notice no matter what the law says, but I'd also want to know what her (and my) legal options are, just in case. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

It's all been said.


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## lucky me (Aug 6, 2012)

Let me say this as nice as i can........time for YOU to man the fu** up and put HER A$$ OUT.


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## Jambri (Mar 19, 2013)

PBear said:


> You may want to talk to a lawyer or the local landlord/tenant board. Just because it's your house and you're not married doesn't mean she doesn't have rights. *Around here, people can get away without paying their rent for months while "proper process" is followed.* You may indeed get away with telling her to get out today, tomorrow, next week... But she may have the right to say no, she's going to stay till it's convenient.
> 
> Just trying to be a voice of reason... I'd be giving her a very short notice no matter what the law says, but I'd also want to know what her (and my) legal options are, just in case.
> 
> ...


I don't think that applies here though. She is not a tenant and he is not a landlord, she is simply a co-inhabitor who has no claims to the property. I assume she is not paying him any $$$ so I can't see where she has any case whatsoever. I could be wrong but that's my take on it.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Have you had sex with her during the past couple of years?

Why didn't she ever try to get pregnant?

How much money have you paid for food over the past years?

She is going to wail and moan. But before she leaves she may snarl and gnash her teeth. So, keep her mom around as a calming influence.

Exposure is useful to end affairs and punish OM/W. Here there is no particular call for it. She needs to know that you will expose her if she gives you a lot of grief.

You need to freeze her out.

Step one: write her a letter on paper, stating that she and her mother have been your guests and must now leave as of XX date. Send it via registered mail, retaining a copy and sending a copy to a legal firm.

Find reputable family law firm to send it to. Even if you don't engage their service when your SO sees 

_cc: Kramer, Levine and Beech Attorneys at Law_

she will feel that she has no wiggle room.

It is possible that she is fond of you. When you get tough and kick her out she may suddenly love you because your resolution makes you more attractive, so don't be surprized if you feel torn and confused. At the end of the day is a serial cheater. Moreover, it very likely that she has occasionally treated herself to strange penises from time to time while together with you.

What sort education does she have?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Jambri said:


> I don't think that applies here though. She is not a tenant and he is not a landlord, she is simply a co-inhabitor who has no claims to the property. I assume she is not paying him any $$$ so I can't see where she has any case whatsoever. I could be wrong but that's my take on it.


It depends on the residency laws of his state/jurisdiction. Its generally the same as in most states. A person establishes residency by moving his/her property into a dwelling, as well as receives mail there. Once residency is established, then to get that person out, you have to go through the eviction process. That's how people squat on a property.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Check your state laws about evicting her. 

In my state (and most others) you cannot just kick a person out of their legal residence. Since you own the house, you can evict her. So find out how to do it.

Here I would have to give a 30 day written notice.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I would say, in order:

1) If you have compassion on her mother, allow her mother to stay and recuperate. There's no reason to kick her out if the two of you get along okay and you're willing. Daughter cheater=daughter is out. 

2) Go to your bank Saturday morning and separate your finances. Open your own savings account that she can not get into, your own checking account, and make sure your house and car payment are transferred to your new accounts. 

2) Rent the storage space, pay for it for 3 months, and put all her stuff into it. Do that this weekend. You may not be able to "kick her out" but there's no reason she can't at least go to a friend's or sleep on someone else's couch while she finds a place and the legalities grind on. 

3) Contact an attorney to find out what (if anything) you need to do regarding separating or divorcing. It's probably not a common law marriage (because Ohio does not have common law marriage unless you've been together since before 1991), but there may be some legal steps to take. Then again, maybe not. Do this Monday morning 8am.

4) Get a doctor appointment to be tested for STDs. Do this Monday morning 9am.

5) Contact all your bills and change them to your new bank account, and anything for which you are paying for her...you drop/close that account. You paying her cell phone bill? Time for her to take care of her own finances if she wants another man! DO NOT pay for her infidelity. Hey it's a free country--if she wants to cheat she can do it, but the PRICE of cheating is no more free ride from sugar daddy!

6) Contact your family and life-long friends, and let them know what is happening. Some may be shocked and need some bit of "proof" but the goal here is not to embarrass or drag her name through the mud (her actions did that...not you telling the truth). Rather the goal is for you to inform family and friends who can help you, support you and encourage you. You MAY want to tell your immediate boss if you think your productivity at work may suffer ... just so s/he knows "what's up." After that, you may want to inform anyone who's likely to be affected like her family, her siblings...but don't expect them to jump on your bandwagon. She likely has spun her story about you neglecting her etc. and at time blood is thicker than water. So be selective who you tell, but do NOT be afraid to tell the truth. The TRUTH is just shining the light on what she's been hiding--the fact that her actions are UGLY is her issue, not yours.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *You may well have the intuition that they have met several states away and have not done anything... don't bet on it! With lurid, flirty, and leading language like that, you can richly take it the bank that they are doing the "horizontal bop" whenever they happen to get together!
> 
> You have the evidence in hand, and as such you know what needs to be done! Not only is she playing you for a fool, but she's pissing all over your shoes and politely telling you it's only a spring shower!*


Arbitrator, your poetic turn of phrase never ceases to make me guffaw out loud and with what's going on with me these days I don't often guffaw. 

OP, I'm probably repeating but I'm sure you get the drift of the advice you're getting. Good and practical point made by Elegirl as usual. Now it's down to business. . .

Double check the common-law wife scenario which a poster said isn't recognised in Ohio. 
Go to the tenancy board and get an eviction notice. Fill it out and give it to Wgf. Explain calmly and kindly to your mother-in-law before you give it to WGF why you have no choice because she seems to be a very sweet lady. 
Then as someone said get a few friends to help them move their stuff which you don't have to do. But as someone else said it's better that way - calm and firm. You maintain your dignity and it's kinder her mother who is caught up in this mess as she recovers.

Frankly I don't see why Wgf's divorced sister-in-law can't take in her mother immediately and look after her. Is she unwilling to look after her mother? Tell you Wgf that. 

2.5 years after posting on here? It's time.

Edited to add: just saw Affaircare's great post. Excellent advice.


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## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

Thanks for the responses! I'll try to answer some of the questions tomorrow. I just posted a long reply in the other thread: talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted-5.html

* MODERATORS:* Is there some way to combine the 2 threads? I started this one but it didn't show up for a few days, so I started using the old one and now they're both active.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

low_n_ohio said:


> Thanks for the responses! I'll try to answer some of the questions tomorrow. I just posted a long reply in the other thread: talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted-5.html
> 
> * MODERATORS:* Is there some way to combine the 2 threads? I started this one but it didn't show up for a few days, so I started using the old one and now they're both active.


OP, perhaps post on both for now.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Das Boot, wait that means the boat in German. Dude you already know the answer, the question is are you prepared for the follow through. Because that is tough. Besides having to confront, which is not easy, you have a recuperating, family member (not yours), who seems like she is decent, to deal. That for me would be hard. I'm not sure if she is aware before you told her what her daughter was doing. Innocent party, maybe? The texts alone is a deal breaker, much less having body pics, just nasty. It's different when it's between two people. Add a jacka****, junk profile last straw. You are 35, employed and paying a majority of the bills, I assume you are paying for her mom as well, if she is a good person and is innocent, then that's not the problem. You want a family, better start working on that. Myself I did it at 40 and had a daughter at 42. Myself, happy as a clam with a good girl, who in my opinion is a hottie. Of course I have a few friends who have complimented me on having good taste. One good friend said to me "You lucky F***", exact words. So it can be done, just get to gettin. It might be a little tough having her (mom) leave with ww daughter, especially if she has nowhere else to go. I assume you're not heartless, but there is collateral damage in these cases. Expose it, pack it and tell "it" to walk. I use "it" in this case for her, because that's how you distance yourself. I like to quote a line from a Clint Eastwood movie, "Mans got to know his limitations." I think you are maxed out in regards to sucking it up, trusting and attempting to "R". All BS, she won't change. Go make a life with someone who gives a damn about you, your feelings and making you happy. All good people deserve good things, period! Good luck, not going to be easy.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

What are a woman's four favorite animals?

A mink in her closet
A Jaguar in her garage
A tiger in her bed...

...and a Jackass to pay for it!


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## lucky me (Aug 6, 2012)

F-102 said:


> What are a woman's four favorite animals?
> 
> A mink in her closet
> A Jaguar in her garage
> ...


Love it :smthumbup:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Ask her mother to take her with her when her hip is well enough.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You may have already said, low, and I just didn't pick up on it; but is her mother, in any way, acutely aware of any of her sordid activities? And if so, does she even care?*


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## Mmdog60 (Apr 3, 2014)

Low n Ohio. Went through the daft same thing. Hang in there. It's not easy,,find peace somehow...but getting back is not peaceful.kick her out. Pack her stuff up and put in garage or curb. Be done with her. Redemption is tempting but not your answer. It just causes more stress on you. Kick her out...NOW...move forward NOW...find peace.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *You may have already said, low, and I just didn't pick up on it; but is her mother, in any way, acutely aware of any of her sordid activities? And if so, does she even care?*



In his other post in General Relationship, he informed the mother and she made suitable sounds of disgust...but one would assume that whether or not she knew or disapproved. 

Still, it would be the gracious thing to give her the benefit of the doubt. And the kindness of letting her stay until she heals is for HIS soul's benefit, not hers.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

In my experience, I've learned that while the parents of the cheaters
usually are shocked and disgusted with their son/daughters behavior,
they still support and love them.

After all, that's what parents do.

Trying to get the cheaters parents on "your side" based on the
actions of their child just won't work.

Rather than worrying about how they feel, you should be
paying closer attention to how _*you*_ feel.


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## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

I'm not in Ohio, but in Texas, btw. I hate thinking up user names for websites and 2.5 years ago when I first registered, I was thinking if I had any friends or family that came here, they might recognize details in my posts. So I picked a state at random and incorporated it into my name as a red herring. Kinda dumb I guess; now I don't care if someone I know reads my posts and knows it's me.

I'm about to go get that VAR. Any suggestions for good ones? I'll probably go to Best Buy.

I'm really thinking I want to speak with an attorney before I say or do much, so I'm going to do that first thing Monday morning. Tomorrow when she gets back I'm going to minimize how much we talk. I'll tell her again that we're through and she needs to start looking for a new place to live, but won't let her drag me into any kind of discussion. Even though I already told her that, I'm pretty sure she'll be thinking we can work this out.

So far I've pretty much ignored her text messages, only responding to one when she asked how my day was going and how's the dog. I just said "He's fine. I walked him."


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## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

Rottdad42 said:


> ...
> You are 35, employed and paying a majority of the bills, I assume you are paying for her mom as well, if she is a good person and is innocent, then that's not the problem. You want a family, better start working on that. Myself I did it at 40 and had a daughter at 42. Myself, happy as a clam with a good girl, who in my opinion is a hottie. Of course I have a few friends who have complimented me on having good taste. One good friend said to me "You lucky F***", exact words. So it can be done, just get to gettin.
> ...


Thanks for sharing! My parents had me at 22 and 26, my younger sister started having kids at 25 I think (still managed a PHD while pregnant then having a baby!) One of the worries tha's been running through my head is that I'm running out of time.

But lately I've noticed some of the people I know are having kids later in life, like mid 30s to early 40s. Seems it's becoming more common. I'm actually not that worried about getting back into the dating scene. I think it'll be fun. I've grown a lot and learned much about myself over the last 7 years, and what I want and need in a relationship. I DEFINITELY won't be settling for the first pretty girl that returns my interest...


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

That's a good outlook. The first one that drops in your lap, ha that's funny is not the one that stays, for the most part. I had a few dates after d-day, like way after. For a few months I walked around in a daze. I was working out almost everyday. I had four days off a week, so there was a lot of down time. I was drinking too much, self proclaimed, self medicating. I didn't realize how much I was drinking until a couple months after. One morning I strolled the ole recycle can out for garbage day and the damn thing rattled all the way to the curb. I looked in and noticed nothing but, beer, wine and liquor bottles. That was the last time the can rattled. That was six years ago. I'm not a drunk, but come from a line of them. Heavy social drinkers. My dad never drank save a few vodka tonics, here and there. I guess my point is it's never too late to make a change. A positive, progressive change for the better. 35 is seasoned, not old. These days there are a lot of couples having kids later in life. Putting a career on the fast track, saving money and preparing a home, for kids is what I did. This worked out well for me. 

In giving some good advice at this point would be as follows. Work on you and your priorities. Decide right now that this person has to go. You are in an unhealthy relationship. End it! Start working out, this will help with the mind movies and ease the pain a bit. Find a hobby like fishing, golf, woodworking anything. Don't forget to eat right. The physical and mental toll that this crap does to your body can spin you about. Get those finances separated asap. Don't think for a minute she won't take your hard earned money to finance her next thing. 180 to a tee. I think the rest will fall into place.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Post the naked pics censored of the om on cheaterville.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

low_n_ohio said:


> I'm about to go get that VAR. Any suggestions for good ones? I'll probably go to Best Buy.


Weightlifter is the VAR guru. Search his posts or maybe he'll come back again with his standard cut/paste VAR instructions. Sony is the brand he recommends.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I didn't read all the post so this may have been addressed. Before summarily kicking her out, be aware of the real estate law in your state. Most likely the house is considered her residence (not to be confused with "ownership") and you may have to go through a legal eviction to force her to move. Put her stuff on the street, right of way, porch, storage unit, or another location at your own peril.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

So did her mother let her know what you found?

change your locks.


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## Anuvia (Jul 10, 2013)

low_n_ohio said:


> I posted here 2.5 years ago when I found that my girlfriend had been having an emotional affair via text.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted.html
> 
> ...


Send me her selfies :smthumbup:


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> *Post the naked pics censored of the om on cheaterville*.


in case the op missed it a few posts ago...lol


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## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

missthelove2013 said:


> in case the op missed it a few posts ago...lol


Re: posting the OM's pics on cheaterville...

I will! I've been busy with work and stuff. I actually had the pics open on my laptop at work on Friday, as I was preparing them the night before, and my one of my coworkers came by to ask me about a document. While flipping through my open items I accidentally stopped on that... 

He let out a nervous laugh, and I calmly said "I'll get to that in a minute." Good thing I'm an owner and he's one of my business partners, and friends... Still embarrasing. But I told him what was going on.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

low_n_ohio said:


> Re: posting the OM's pics on cheaterville...
> 
> I will! I've been busy with work and stuff. I actually had the pics open on my laptop at work on Friday, as I was preparing them the night before, and my one of my coworkers came by to ask me about a document. While flipping through my open items I accidentally stopped on that...
> 
> He let out a nervous laugh, and I calmly said "I'll get to that in a minute." Good thing I'm an owner and he's one of my business partners, and friends... Still embarrasing. But I told him what was going on.


That's funny. A nervous laugh. I'm sure for a minute he thought you were into gay porn.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

You're simply a c0ck and a wallet to her. Nothing else. 

Is that what you want to be?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

low_n_ohio said:


> Re: posting the OM's pics on cheaterville...
> 
> I will! I've been busy with work and stuff. I actually had the pics open on my laptop at work on Friday, as I was preparing them the night before, and my one of my coworkers came by to ask me about a document. While flipping through my open items I accidentally stopped on that...
> 
> He let out a nervous laugh, and I calmly said "I'll get to that in a minute." Good thing I'm an owner and he's one of my business partners, and friends... Still embarrasing. But I told him what was going on.


Having his support will be a good thing for you.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Fwiw sony sony sony for vars. icdpx333.


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## low_n_ohio (Sep 20, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> Fwiw sony sony sony for vars. icdpx333.


Thanks, I did get that one as well as the Sony IDC-UX model. The UX is so much nicer as far as interface, but the ICD-PX333, wow, with lithium batteries those things will go forever! Probably 10 times the UX.

I ...overheard... some things she said on the phone to the other guy. And apparently to a second guy, the ex of hers she went to drinks with while purposely avoiding my calls, too. To this day she still says she's not going to just give up, that she loves me and wants a life with me and nobody else, and will try every last thing to work things out between us.

After collecting some evidence, I said "OK, so you know how important complete and total honesty is, right? Will you answer some questions and be absolutely, completely honest?" She says she will so I ask some tough questions (well, not even that tough, really), like did he know about me, did you ever tell him you love him, and she lied every single time. In the face of irrefutable evidence she'd be quiet for a minute, then begin on some story about how I was misinterpreting. WTF ever... Liar for life.

I can't believe I wasted more mental energy and time on her. Of course I should've done what everyone said to do, and just leave it at GTFO! I guess I'm a sucker for getting drawn into discussion with an insane person, and banging my head against a wall for hours on end...

Anyways, she's out as of yesterday. More about it in the other thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted-6.html#post8166121 Still will probably take a while to get her to take all of her stuff.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

PM the Cheaterville link once you get going. You can also tell us how to search but do not put the link directly up here on the thread.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

doubletrouble said:


> You're simply a c0ck and a wallet to her. Nothing else.
> 
> Is that what you want to be?


Subtract c0ck and multiply with ten.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

low_n_ohio said:


> Thanks, I did get that one as well as the Sony IDC-UX model. The UX is so much nicer as far as interface, but the ICD-PX333, wow, with lithium batteries those things will go forever! Probably 10 times the UX.
> 
> I ...overheard... some things she said on the phone to the other guy. And apparently to a second guy, the ex of hers she went to drinks with while purposely avoiding my calls, too. To this day she still says she's not going to just give up, that she loves me and wants a life with me and nobody else, and will try every last thing to work things out between us.
> 
> ...


Be kind. Have professional removers take it away into storage for her.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

You didn't listen to my advice.

YOU are responsible for your dwelling. She isn't. Her mother isn't. YOU ARE.

So get off your heinie and move that crud someplace else. She can pick it up from a storage unit just as easily as she can from your house...except, if she picks it up from your house, it will be constant drama.

But you seem to want that...


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

Nice, been helping another wrangler buddy with his discovery of nude selfies on his GFs iphone.

He is committing to a 2month surveillance program as he is in denial of how bad this might be.

I told him the same as you were told a couple years back.

Get smart or get phucked my man.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

wranglerman said:


> Nice, been helping another wrangler buddy with his discovery of nude selfies on his GFs iphone.
> 
> He is committing to a 2month surveillance program as he is in denial of how bad this might be.
> 
> ...


But Wrangler knows TAM and all the SOP here.


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

wranglerman said:


> Nice, been helping another wrangler buddy with his discovery of nude selfies on his GFs iphone.
> 
> He is committing to a 2month surveillance program as he is in denial of how bad this might be.
> 
> ...


Wranglerman is one guy I really won't wanna f*ck with.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

WhiteRaven said:


> Wranglerman is one guy I really won't wanna f*ck with.


The last two bozo's who tried it lost some teeth and got some broken ribs for their trouble 

If you are wondering what that is all about, have flick through this little gem stone from last years efforts to live a simple and honest life.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/103314-proud-myself-exposing-cheater.html


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

wranglerman said:


> The last two bozo's who tried it lost some teeth and got some broken ribs for their trouble


You can kick harder than your pony.:rofl:


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## 343612534 (Apr 15, 2014)

low_n_ohio said:


> Thanks for the responses! I'll try to answer some of the questions tomorrow. I just posted a long reply in the other thread: talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/31935-checked-her-phone-now-i-feel-gutted-5.html
> 
> * MODERATORS:* Is there some way to combine the 2 threads? I started this one but it didn't show up for a few days, so I started using the old one and now they're both active.


This is my first post here. I guess I should just go on and read this train wreck but I do not have the heart. Not a good 1st post but I need my say.

Post 43 is where I quit reading. I had looked at the other thread as well but only skimmed it. I figure that it is exactly the same as this thread.

Here is your girls scam: 1. Find nice guy who needs to be loved more than he needs self esteem. 2. Continue a varied sex life until caught red handed. 3. Convince guy red handed was not really what it seemed and that with forgiveness and "change" on her part things can be better than ever. 4. Quit getting caught cheating till guy decides she can and will change. 5. Return to #2 rinse and repeat as necessary.

Come on man, she is a serial cheater and you have the proof. Believe it. It is true. It does not matter if she promises not to do it again. She will because here self esteem is lower than yours (if that is possible) and it is the only way she seems to deal with it. It is her problem not yours, you are not her shrink.

You need to go see a shrink AND a lawyer and do exactly what they say. Exactly.

I hate to say this but you seem to be wanting this behavior. You sneak trying to prove she is not cheating when you know she is and she does not cover her tracks well. You find the text and pix you are looking for. In my opinion her behavior thrills you. Why else would you allow it? If you stay with this women she will eventually bring her boyfriends home with her to have sex in your house while she has you polish his shoes and make him breakfast in the morning. You even beg to have an old thread attached to this thread so even more people can see how humiliated you are.

Please see the shrink and the lawyer.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

low_n_ohio said:


> So I guess to sum it up I have 3 questions:
> 1. What do you think about a facebook exposure; any negative repercussions?


Sure, do it. Just don't do go to any extremes. Keep it simple. Simply tell the world you are divorcing your wh0re wife because she is a cheater and likes texting nude pictures back and forth.
Don't post the pictures, just tell the world what she has done. But maybe do so after she is out of your life.




> 2. What's the best way to separate our lives considering the above details?


Not married, she doesn't pay mortgage, easy. Just tell her to get out, keep her car, etc. Tell her to let the OM take care of her if she wants to F him.

If she won't get out, consult an attorney on the best course of action.




> 3. This sucks! I hate feeling like this and having to "get back in the game", and scared of not being with her.


Bah, don't be scared of not being with her. No man should pine for a cheating skank.




> I know the memories of all the good times are going to tear me apart as they come. Not really a question, I guess...


Maybe you are different than I, but all the good times were rendered null and void by my x-wife's cheating. But once you get out there and start enjoying the company of other, decent, women, you won't look back.


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