# Confronting a liar....



## fallen_angel

So, I've recently discovered that my husband has basically been lying to me since day 1.... I'm heart broken but I still love him and am willing to move on IF he accepts full responsibility for his lies and actions... problem is, that he usually blows things off. Like, "Okay, I lied, so what? Are we going to keep talking about it...?" 

It can go one of 3 ways I think. Way 1: that he is actually relieved, and doesn't have to lie any more...

Way 2: He gets mad at me, and wants to divorce....

Way 3: He says what he usually says, and blows it off...

This is way to big to just act like it didn't happen....

Has anyone else gone through this...??? Do you have a success story...? I know it wouldn't be the end of the world if we split.... He has lost my trust and it will take awhile to rebuild.... but I'm willing to work on it...

Please help...


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## DocHoliday

If you are still reading, my $0.02.

I have a long term marriage to a very deceptive/liar. Looks like an upstanding man (very respected) and HE BELEIVES he is "just a good guy" (who apparently makes mistakes)...

and the REAL problem is me "not getting over it." ...

He also does not think it is "much of a big deal" and I should get over it and move on. I want to do that. too.

Man, do I wish it was just that easy.

At this point, it becomes about you. Do you think (in your heart of hearts) that you can get past this without being burnt by the memories?

It has been years and altho it gets better, I am finding that it never goes away (for me).

I admire people who get over things.....


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## DocHoliday

#1. If he was relieved that he does not have to lie anymore, why does he keep lying?

#2. This is cruel and gaslighting. (trying to put the blame for having a problem on you.) He is threatening you for calling him out on his stories.

#3. Wow. This really shows he will not take responsibility

What kinds of things is he lying about? (If you don't mind.)


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