# Communication - do you understand satire or irony?



## Spungo (Mar 15, 2013)

I've been reading this forum for quite a while and I've noticed that a LOT of people here cannot detect irony or satire. Someone will post something that is obviously a joke, such as "put a boot on her car so she can't leave" followed by a detailed explanation of how to buy or make a boot, and people will reply by saying that's mean or that it won't accomplish anything. Yes, doing that would be mean. That's the joke. The message of this type of satire is that trying to stop someone from physically leaving accomplishes nothing - the amount of time spent on messing up someone's car would be better spent on trying to fix the relationship. 

I started thinking about this, and all of the pieces started lining up. Is it possible that many of the people on this forum are having relationship problems because they honestly can't tell when someone is joking? 

Part of the reason I ask is because I listen to Joe Rogan's podcast, and they've had several discussions about head injuries from football, boxing, MMA, soccer, etc. These types of head injuries mostly damage the front of the brain. When football players crash into each other, their brains still have forward momentum, so the front of the brain crashes into the skull. The brain has no nerve endings, so the person can't feel how much damage is being done to the brain. The only signs of the injury are changed behaviors which often include the inability to understand irony, satire, sarcasm, or sometimes emotions in general. People who can't read emotions properly can look like major *******s because they keep doing annoying things, totally unaware that others are annoyed. The front of the brain also controls the ability to know what is appropriate or not appropriate, so a person with significant brain damage might slap a woman's butt in church and in the bedroom without being able to distinguish why one is acceptable and one is not. 

A common feature of frontal brain damage is that a person's sense of humor is severely impaired. They often do not understand shows like the Colbert Report, which is entirely based on satire, but they love the Three Stooges or Adam Sandler movies, which are a combination of slapstick and fart jokes.

Thoughts/opinions? Does this sound familiar for anyone? Does it apply to you? Your spouse? Did you or your spouse have multiple concussions? Have you been involved in any high speed car crashes?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

The written word is well known for NOT being clear when it comes to irony and sarcasm, and that doesn't make readers brain damaged!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Spungo said:


> Thoughts/opinions? Does this sound familiar for anyone? Does it apply to you? Your spouse? Did you or your spouse have multiple concussions? Have you been involved in any high speed car crashes?


The high speed reference is a joke, right? 

I know someone like this. Not my spouse, but a very close relative. She doesn't understand satire, sarcasm, teasing. If you tease her gently, she'll take it personally and get very defensive. She doesn't have some learning disability either like Asperger's Syndrome. She just takes things very seriously and literally. I think it's how she was brought up. Stephen Colbert, John Stewart, Chris Rock, George Carlin jokes would fly over her head. Life would be boring and unbearable if I were her spouse, but I think her spouse has settled and accepted that's just how she is. What I love about my spouse is his sense of humor. Humor can get you through so many problems in life. 

I have noticed that people on this message board don't understand joke posts and satire, but it is hard to read intent when you're staring at text on a screen. However, some posts are so out there, you'd think the answer is obvious. I'm sure I've fallen for satire on this board, but generally I can tell when someone is being less than serious.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm an aspie and I still get jokes and irony. Well most of them anyway. 

I've had a few here that went over my head but it's true with written text you can't see the facial expressions or body language. 

Without an LOL or  yes several times I've thought someone was serious when they weren't.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

I think you're onto something. I was in a car accident just before I met my ex wife and she went on to cheat on me. I bet it has something to do with that car accident impeding my ability to understand irony and sarcasm. It's ironic how many books, college degrees, web sites and professions have been established around fixing relationships and yet it really just comes down to frontal lobe damage.

I'm going to go ponder this and wonder why my wife finds me so funny while I'm reading the onion.

Thank you for solving such an incredibly large and far reaching dilemma.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

At least 70% of human communication is non-verbal. 

With that in mind, it's a good idea for a poster to clearly mark sarcasm or irony when that's their intent. 

Using emoticons is a good way to do that.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> At least 70% of human communication is non-verbal.
> 
> With that in mind, it's a good idea for a poster to clearly mark sarcasm or irony when that's their intent.
> 
> Using emoticons is a good way to do that.


What's wrong with you people and your logic and statistics.

Miscommunication in chat/texting/email/posting...and you think it has something to do with a lack of none written inflections into the communication. 

Next you're going to tell me that tone of voice is another 15-20% of communication above the non-verbal.


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## Spungo (Mar 15, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> At least 70% of human communication is non-verbal.


Text is part of that 70%. Articles on The Onion are as well written as any real news source, but people still manage to see the irony or satire. Irony and satire in written form go back as far as written communication has existed. You can see that wiki's list of satirical authors goes back thousands of years:
List of satirists and satires - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It's not like novels and story telling were invented 20 years ago.



> I'm going to go ponder this and wonder why my wife finds me so funny while I'm reading the onion.


I'm glad you mentioned The Onion. Their article about the abortion megaplex was thought to be serious by a certain government person who likely has a brain injury.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/pol...planned-parenthood-facebook-article-1.1018018

This type of brain damage seems to be as common as needing glasses. One satirist was genuinely scared that he would be thrown in jail for promoting racism because so many people did not understand the joke. Too stupid for satire.



> web sites and professions have been established around fixing relationships and yet it really just comes down to frontal lobe damage.


And what makes you think ANY of them know what they are talking about? Let me remind you that things like magic crystals and spirit healing are a billion dollar industry. Does that mean I should buy some magic rocks and try to align my aura? A lot of things really do come down to simple brain damage. That's why millions of people read these relationship books and still have failing relationships. There are numerous examples of behavior having incredibly simple explanations:
leaded gasoline causes crime
a larger amygdala makes people more conservative

The average human is a lot more broken than people realize. Example: roughly 75% of Americans need vision correction. With that in mind, I think it's reasonable to say that a very large percentage of people may have some form of brain damage. Everyone has had their bell rung at least once and the brain rips a little bit every time.


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## Spungo (Mar 15, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> At least 70% of human communication is non-verbal.


Text is part of that 70%. Articles on The Onion are as well written as any real news source, but people still manage to see the irony or satire. Irony and satire in written form go back as far as written communication has existed. You can see that wiki's list of satirical authors goes back thousands of years:
List of satirists and satires - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It's not like novels and story telling were invented 20 years ago.



> I'm going to go ponder this and wonder why my wife finds me so funny while I'm reading the onion.


I'm glad you mentioned The Onion. Their article about the abortion megaplex was thought to be serious by a certain government person who likely has a brain injury.
Does John Fleming think the Onion is real? Politician posts link to fake news about Planned Parenthood on Facebook  - NY Daily News

This type of brain damage seems to be as common as needing glasses. One satirist was genuinely scared that he would be thrown in jail for promoting racism because so many people did not understand the joke. Too stupid for satire.



> web sites and professions have been established around fixing relationships and yet it really just comes down to frontal lobe damage.


And what makes you think ANY of them know what they are talking about? Let me remind you that things like magic crystals and spirit healing are a billion dollar industry. Does that mean I should buy some magic rocks and try to align my aura? A lot of things really do come down to simple brain damage. That's why millions of people read these relationship books and still have failing relationships. There are numerous examples of behavior having incredibly simple explanations:
leaded gasoline causes crime
a larger amygdala makes people more conservative

The average human is a lot more broken than people realize. Example: roughly 75% of Americans need vision correction. With that in mind, I think it's reasonable to say that a very large percentage of people may have some form of brain damage. Everyone has had their bell rung at least once and the brain rips a little bit every time.


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

I have noticed that women and men differ in the way they approach humor in different topics. I dont think its that women don't understand the sarcasm or irony, its just that they themselves wouldn't use humor in the case of a serious topic like the ones we discuss here. Men tend to take a different approach to coping with difficult subjects and often use humor as a tool to play down the seriousness of the matter. 

I have often misunderstood my husbands texts because we were talking about a serious subject and he became sarcastic which is really difficult to understand in texts. We laugh about it now, but at the time I was really confused.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Dad&Hubby said:


> What's wrong with you people and your logic and statistics.
> 
> Miscommunication in chat/texting/email/posting...and you think it has something to do with a lack of none written inflections into the communication.
> 
> Next you're going to tell me that tone of voice is another 15-20% of communication above the non-verbal.


What the hell is wrong with you?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

inquizitivemind said:


> I have noticed that women and men differ in the way they approach humor in different topics. I dont think its that women don't understand the sarcasm or irony, its just that they themselves wouldn't use humor in the case of a serious topic like the ones we discuss here. Men tend to take a different approach to coping with difficult subjects and often use humor as a tool to play down the seriousness of the matter.
> 
> I have often misunderstood my husbands texts because we were talking about a serious subject and he became sarcastic which is really difficult to understand in texts. We laugh about it now, but at the time I was really confused.



sar·casm

noun 
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony. 
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms. 


Synonyms 
1. sardonicism, bitterness, ridicule. See irony1 . 2. jeer. 

Your interpretation of his sarcasm as not being humorous were probably correct. True sarcasm is not humor in that the person is not trying to be light hearted.. they are cutting at you and sprinkling it with a few lol's to make it seem like they are being funny


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## Kria (Aug 4, 2013)

In entertainment like a movie it's fine but in real life I prefer for people to be straight up or shut up because that's how I am. That way there are less misunderstandings and more clarity but delivery is important too. I find that people are being cowards when they use sarcasm. They use it as a possible way out card to say they were just kidding if the other person gets offended. Either own your words or don't say them.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What the hell is wrong with you?


I was attempting to be sarcastic.....


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Sometimes it is hard to tell if the written word is satire or not. As an example I saw the following bumper sticker on a beaten up pickup truck last week on the I 75 south of Tamps 
"Keep Honking Buddy, I'm Reloading" 
My first thought was that it was humorous but a second glance at the vehicle showed a NRA sticker on the rear window. 

Just to be on the safe side I let him pull ahead an extra 20 feet.


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## agreenbough (Oct 1, 2012)

I have a sister-in-law that I believe has NPD, and she is totally oblivious to irony and sarcasm - takes everything literally and personally. It's exhausting. 

I think there are a lot of factors at play. Part of it could be personality type. (Or a personality disorder, as I suspect.) It could be a different kind of sense of humor or simply a different way of viewing the world. My sister-in-law is very difficult to have a good time with because she actually doesn't really seem to understand any kind of humor, it's just more noticeable that she doesn't get sarcasm. She'll do something blatantly mean, thinking she's being sarcastic, trying to fit in with an extended family known for their dry and sarcastic wit. It just makes her look mean and stupid, and she's totally unaware of that.

Interestingly enough, she was in a serious car accident in her early 20's, ten or more years before I met her. It nearly killed her.


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