# Is a new woman the only way to get over this?



## sd212

Now that my STBX is physically gone I'm finding myself feeling so alone. 

I thought alot today about people I know and how they are happy now even though they went through the same thing I'm going through.

BUT, every single one of them moved on to someone new. Every thing I read (as well as my therapist) says to be single, be you, give yourself a year, etc. 

I don't have any examples in my life of people being happy by being alone. Does anyone here have a success story of committing to themselves and being happy again or is finding someone new the preferred method?


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## LaxUF

IMO... You can not be alone & still feel lonely. Being with someone to save yourself from feeling or being alone is a recipe for co-dependency. It is natural to feel lonely after a breakup , not just because you miss the other person (some may, others may not) but because you are not accustomed to being alone. I would much rather be alone (& lonely) than miserable with someone else. It's a matter of mindset & reprogramming yourself to be happy with yourself. Until you are happy with yourself you won't be able to share yourself & happiness with another. You will simply be using them to fill a perceived void. 

You'll get there, it just takes some time & effort on your part. You are responsible for yourself & your happiness. : )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## madaboutlove

Is it a year since they left or a year since the divorce? I mean, I am now 54 years old, how long should I wait? And I am fine alone, I have a great job, good kids, family, friends, I am in graduate school working on my PhD. STBXH was the one with the problem, he didn't know how to live with someone, care about them or open up and share. I am a kind, loving person who is looking to be someone's partner in life.


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## Traggy

I think you wait until you can honestly give someone a fair shake. Meaning, they deserve all of you, not just what you are willing to give from being hurt by your ex.

If you are afraid and unwilling to give someone that fair shake, you are not ready. There is no time frame. We are all different.


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## ing

I reckon a couple of weeks and you move on! I mean.. 

Seriously. I am in a relationship that has had its ups and downs in the past year because neither of us were really ready to have a relationship. I think as long as you are honest with your new person about where you are up to. Why not?

Life is short, then you die.


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## sd212

LaxUF said:


> IMO... You can not be alone & still feel lonely. Being with someone to save yourself from feeling or being alone is a recipe for co-dependency. It is natural to feel lonely after a breakup , not just because you miss the other person (some may, others may not) but because you are not accustomed to being alone. I would much rather be alone (& lonely) than miserable with someone else. It's a matter of mindset & reprogramming yourself to be happy with yourself. Until you are happy with yourself you won't be able to share yourself & happiness with another. You will simply be using them to fill a perceived void.
> 
> You'll get there, it just takes some time & effort on your part. You are responsible for yourself & your happiness. : )
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



This is the exact advice that I think is "right." Problem is, I'm worrying that it is too idealistic. I completely agree that I don't want to use a woman to get past my wife who has destroyed me and that is why I'm not pursuing. BUT, how the hell else am I going to feel good about me? I know this is the epitome of low self worth but it is my honest feeling. I really think I need a partner to be happy. But, I'm hurting horribly right now. 

@ing I don't want to make another person my crutch at the expense of their happiness. I know I'd feel so much better having a woman next to me in bed at night to hold and be held but how could I do that if I'm still in love w/ my ex?


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## LovesHerMan

You sound like you love being part of a couple, so yes, you will not be fully healed until you find someone else.

The advice about being alone for a year is wise because right now you are feeling needy, and if you rush into a new relationship too soon, you may miss red flags that this person is not a good match for you. You should be strong and self-confident before you can enter into a new relationship.

You need to give yourself time to heal from the divorce, and to learn why the relationship failed so that you do not repeat mistakes with a new partner.


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## bandit.45

I'm in the same boat brother. I miss my wife bad. But I know I am better off without her. I have lost close to 40 pounds in the last month and a half.

I do not plan on dating for a long, long time after the divorce is finalyzed. I have started a bucket list of goals that I want to accomplish before I settle down again. I spent 21 years revolving around this other person like a moon circling a planet. 

Time to explore the universe as a rogue asteroid!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sd212

CleanStart78 said:


> @SD212 , I feel the same way as you.
> Maybe it's "youngest child" syndrome lol.
> As the youngest of 3 kids, and with my parents still being married, I was never used to "being alone". Before my wife, I was with only 1 other girl, and that relationship was for almost 2 years.. The one with my wife about 9 years. (6 and change of that married.)
> 
> Thru MC I have learned a lot, thru books and IC I have learned a lot. My divorce was final in Feb, but we have been separated since July, but going thru this non-sense since a year ago. I really do not miss my wife, I just miss the affection and company of the other person. Being "alone" is not natural to me. With winter coming to a close I think some of the mood swings will change for the better, and I am looking forward to dating. Half the battle for me is putting myself out there. I know people try to label this as "co-dependency" I do not look at it this way. I can be happy doing my own things, but, I really prefer it both ways. Sharing my life and self with someone else, and having some me time.


Seems like you really understand me. I think there may be something to what you say about upbringing. I am an only child and had a single mother. We were tight as can be and spent so much time together. We were very poor so my memories are all of us just hanging out together. Interesting.

I do miss my wife terribly though. Sounds like you have alot more time under your belt of being separated though so perhaps I will get there. The infidelity plagues me as much as being alone but when I manage to shake that I hope to have 1/2 my pain gone.


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## Jellybeans

bandit.45 said:


> I'm in the same boat brother. I miss my wife bad. But I know I am better off without her. I have lost close to 40 pounds in the last month and a half.
> 
> I do not plan on dating for a long, long time after the divorce is finalyzed. I have started a bucket list of goals that I want to accomplish before I settle down again. I spent 21 years revolving around this other person like a moon circling a planet.
> 
> Time to explore the universe as a rogue asteroid!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is me, too. 

I have already crossed off about 4-5 things from my Bucket List!


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## Mamatomany

madaboutlove said:


> Is it a year since they left or a year since the divorce? I mean, I am now 54 years old, how long should I wait? And I am fine alone, I have a great job, good kids, family, friends, I am in graduate school working on my PhD. STBXH was the one with the problem, he didn't know how to live with someone, care about them or open up and share. I am a kind, loving person who is looking to be someone's partner in life.


I don't think this year thing works for everyone. I agree 1 yr for 25 yr old is okay but as you get older it's just ridiculous to think about waiting that long. 

Good question my H left our marriage before he left the house... when does that year start? If that's the case I am more than half way through it (I am not rushing to a D - just reading and preparing for what you all are going through), so if I count when HE left the marriage it maybe just after the D that a year will have passed.

Mad- just go with flow and open yourself up to opportunities


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## 1dayatatime

for me personally i started dating after 6 months sep. it backfired. i had a rebound and then i tried to date this other guy closer to the year mark and we dated for a couple of months but it wasn't to be. didn't feel right. i'm going through the divorce motions now and i've decided to be single for awhile, at least until the divorce is finalized. i hope by then i'll have more of an understanding of myself and who i am. before my marriage i was used to jumping in and out of relationships. being not in one feels weird and pitiful to me. but i also do not like hurting people and don't want to fall into the same pattern as my marriage took. so now it's on to discover myself and to hopefully make better choices next time.


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## 1dayatatime

mind you it's not easy being single.. I see other happy couples and it really feels sucky but i know that i wouldn't be able to give myself to someone else fully as i'm still healing. you said your still in love with ur ex, that tells me your not ready either. when u get past that point then you will have a better chance.


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## LaxUF

CleanStart78 said:


> I really do not miss my wife, *I just miss the affection and company of the other person. Being "alone" is not natural to me.* With winter coming to a close I think some of the mood swings will change for the better, and I am looking forward to dating. Half the battle for me is putting myself out there. *I know people try to label this as "co-dependency" I do not look at it this way. I can be happy doing my own things, but, I really prefer it both ways. Sharing my life and self with someone else, and having some me time.*


It is perfectly normal & healthy to want affection & company and miss it when it is absent... it is not healthy to want it to maintain a sense of security or to feel whole. 

Wanting to share your life & having a connection with someone is NOT co-dependent... It becomes co-dependent when you convince or allow yourself to believe that you won't be happy without someone.

I don't think there is any set rule for how long you should wait before you can put yourself "out-there" because everyone heals at their own pace. Just don't launch yourself before you have sealed the gaps. It's ok if they still leak a little but make sure you can bail if needed. (oh how I love a good allegory)

Perhaps this would be a good litmus test for you: If there is any evidence or indication that you may come across as "needy" or have a desire to seek instant validation from a brand new or potential partner... you are not ready.


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## LaxUF

sd212 said:


> This is the exact advice that I think is "right." Problem is, I'm worrying that it is too idealistic. I completely agree that I don't want to use a woman to get past my wife who has destroyed me and that is why I'm not pursuing. BUT, how the hell else am I going to feel good about me? I know this is the epitome of low self worth but it is my honest feeling. I really think I need a partner to be happy. But, I'm hurting horribly right now.


Idealistic? Perhaps... but smart? IMO... YES! 

"She destroyed you".... Ugh huh... no way... You only THINK she destroyed you because you allow yourself to believe that she did. The fact that you are here and searching for a way to regain your sense of self is evidence that you are not obliterated.

How do you begin to feel good about YOU? Other than IC (which you should try if you haven't already).... Make a list of all the things YOU enjoyed BEFORE you met your wife and do them.... make a bucket list (as many others have) of all the things that YOU'VE wanted to do (not things that you wanted to do with her) and do them! 

I'm sure there will be things that no longer interest you but make sure it's for the right reasons... physical, geographical or financial reasons are ok... excuses are not.

Now go get'em!!!


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

LaxUF said:


> IMO... You can not be alone & still feel lonely. Being with someone to save yourself from feeling or being alone is a recipe for co-dependency. It is natural to feel lonely after a breakup , not just because you miss the other person (some may, others may not) but because you are not accustomed to being alone. I would much rather be alone (& lonely) than miserable with someone else. It's a matter of mindset & reprogramming yourself to be happy with yourself. Until you are happy with yourself you won't be able to share yourself & happiness with another. You will simply be using them to fill a perceived void.
> 
> You'll get there, it just takes some time & effort on your part. You are responsible for yourself & your happiness. : )
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Humans are hardwired to be tribal, very few can be on their own for extended periods. I can see the need to be on your own for a time after a breakup, but it's not a natural or healthy condition long term. I didn't get married until I was 33, sometimes going a couple of years without a relationship. Even though I "Loved myself" had a wide circle of friends and activities lined up, I was never all that happy on my own. Neither was anyone else I knew in the same boat, it was like we were "Doing Time" just to fill the void. 

So I'd say once you are over the worst of it, get out and meet someone else, it's the only way you are going to get over the EX. When someone makes you feel good, you begin to forget about someone who's made you feel like crap.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

ing said:


> I reckon a couple of weeks and you move on! I mean..
> 
> Seriously. I am in a relationship that has had its ups and downs in the past year because neither of us were really ready to have a relationship. I think as long as you are honest with your new person about where you are up to. Why not?
> 
> Life is short, then you die.


I totally agree, I'm 57, was in a relationship for 24 years ( married for 22 years). I'm not going to wait until I'm 60 to jump back in the pool ;~). As for being fair to the other party, well if I'm up front with my situation, I can't see the problem. There is always going to be a rebound person, it can't be helped. Unless you are extremely lucky there is no way the first person you date after divorce is "Going to be the one" anyway. I figure I've been through enough pain, as long as I'm honest about it I can't see a problem.


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## diwali123

Counseling, support group, new hobbies, working on your bucket list, all will help. I was like you, I wanted to have someone. I was so lonely. It was SO hard. I waited a year after the filing to start dating. I had some really bad experiences. After two years I met my new husband. Looking back I'm glad that I had the time alone to become stronger, to work on me, to show myself I could survive and thrive. It's really hard to adjust to bring alone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123

Also I was the first person my husband dated after his divorce and it was 7 months after they separated a d agreed to divorce. Sometimes I think it's easier for men to bounce back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

diwali123 said:


> Also I was the first person my husband dated after his divorce and it was 7 months after they separated a d agreed to divorce. Sometimes I think it's easier for men to bounce back.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I don't think it's easier for men to bounce back, it's just most of us don't function well alone and push through it to keep from blowing our brains out. Men commit suicide at a rate three times higher than women when dealing with divorce.


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## ing

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> I don't think it's easier for men to bounce back, it's just most of us don't function well alone and push through it to keep from blowing our brains out. Men commit suicide at a rate three times higher than women when dealing with divorce.


The stats on this are horrifying. The leading cause of death in men in the 40-50 range is suicide.
Men do not handle Divorce well, they generally lose their entire identity since they strongly link with Hunter and Protector of the family. 

Bouncing back is sometimes feels like the only option other than suicide. The pain is just too much to bear otherwise. Sitting at home working on yourself and your "hobbies" is one hell of different life.
I LIKE being with someone, sharing life and having fun times. I like to feel connected. 

Those of us who have had one significant relationship for a very long time [25 year in my case] believe there is only one person for them. It simply is not true. 
Sure, you fall in love again, then you begin to love them for real a little bit more every day, perhaps this doesn't happen, perhaps you move on to a new person and a new love. 
The thing you learn by getting back in the pool though is that it is possible and quiet likely.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

ing said:


> The stats on this are horrifying. The leading cause of death in men in the 40-50 range is suicide.
> Men do not handle Divorce well, they generally lose their entire identity since they strongly link with Hunter and Protector of the family.
> 
> Bouncing back is sometimes feels like the only option other than suicide. The pain is just too much to bear otherwise. Sitting at home working on yourself and your "hobbies" is one hell of different life.
> I LIKE being with someone, sharing life and having fun times. I like to feel connected.
> 
> Those of us who have had one significant relationship for a very long time [25 year in my case] believe there is only one person for them. It simply is not true.
> Sure, you fall in love again, then you begin to love them for real a little bit more every day, perhaps this doesn't happen, perhaps you move on to a new person and a new love.
> The thing you learn by getting back in the pool though is that it is possible and quiet likely.


Well said ING, I'm in much the same boat, was with my W for 24 years. Even though I fully engaged myself very early on with working out, yoga, cycling, joining the local Theater guild and getting out as much as I can,it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even with doing all that, I'm not ashamed to admit there were fleeting moments that I thought, " This pain would all end if I turned into that rockcut at 80MPH....It was only my interactions with other women who told me my W was out her mind to dump a guy like me that shook me out a downward spiral.


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## tacoma

The best thing to do after divorce is to get on with life.

If that involves a new romantic interest or a series of flings...get on with it.


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## sd212

tacoma said:


> The best thing to do after divorce is to get on with life.
> 
> If that involves a new romantic interest or a series of flings...get on with it.


I really like this way of looking at it!


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## diwali123

I meant to say I think women tend to go through a "men are scum" phase whereas men don't lose hope in all women. Women tend to have a blanket view of men after a divorce. And yes you will find a woman or women who can't believe she let you go. I think my h's ex is insane! He knows how to fix everything in the house, has a good job, a college degree, is cute, he dresses well and is well groomed, thoughtful, funny, loves his kids, knows how to bake a cake, cooks, cleans...makes coffee for me. This morning he used the hair dryer to clear a spot off the foggy mirror for me. She is now with a man who is short, looks 10 years older than he is, has prison tattoos, was in prison, works a blue collar job, knows nothing about cars or houses and isn't educated. Some women like to trade down. 
My stepfather's ex did the same thing. She left him for a loser and he traded up to my mom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

diwali123 said:


> I meant to say I think women tend to go through a "men are scum" phase whereas men don't lose hope in all women. Women tend to have a blanket view of men after a divorce. And yes you will find a woman or women who can't believe she let you go. I think my h's ex is insane! He knows how to fix everything in the house, has a good job, a college degree, is cute, he dresses well and is well groomed, thoughtful, funny, loves his kids, knows how to bake a cake, cooks, cleans...makes coffee for me. This morning he used the hair dryer to clear a spot off the foggy mirror for me. She is now with a man who is short, looks 10 years older than he is, has prison tattoos, was in prison, works a blue collar job, knows nothing about cars or houses and isn't educated. Some women like to trade down.
> My stepfather's ex did the same thing. She left him for a loser and he traded up to my mom.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes, but the Om's "Are Filling their needs" ;~) I think once a hormonal MLC kicks in it would not matter if you were a cross between the Old Spice guy and Dr. OZ, they feel something is missing in their life and leave you anyway.


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## ing

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> Yes, but the Om's "Are Filling their needs" ;~) I think once a hormonal MLC kicks in it would not matter if you were a cross between the Old Spice guy and Dr. OZ, they feel something is missing in their life and leave you anyway.


I'm On a Horse.


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## sd212

tacoma said:


> The best thing to do after divorce is to get on with life.
> 
> If that involves a new romantic interest or a series of flings...get on with it.


Update since I started this thread:
Phew! I tried to let my guard down this weekend and let things fly. I let it fly last night in particular and it bit me badly!

I guess I am just not wired that way because I have been sending this new girl mixed signals for some time. 

Truth is, I've sent her mixed signals b/c some days I feel like crawling in a hole and dying and others I want to get better and embrace life. Well, last night I spent some quality time with her and then woke up this morning wanting to be just friends again.

Obviously she didn't take it well. I don't blame her a bit. She was none to happy with me and basically told me to have a nice life. She felt like I was using her to get over my W. I really wasn't doing that, I have genuine feelings for her but I'm just not ready. 

Lesson learned: Some people should probably just pursue flings and whatnot but be damn careful of who you hurt in the process. Now I have two women, one who has forgotten all about me (W) and one who now pretty much hates my guts. 

Dang, this is a treacherous journey.


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## southbound

sd212 said:


> Now that my STBX is physically gone I'm finding myself feeling so alone.
> 
> I thought alot today about people I know and how they are happy now even though they went through the same thing I'm going through.
> 
> BUT, every single one of them moved on to someone new. Every thing I read (as well as my therapist) says to be single, be you, give yourself a year, etc.
> 
> I don't have any examples in my life of people being happy by being alone. Does anyone here have a success story of committing to themselves and being happy again or is finding someone new the preferred method?


I have been divorced for about 18 months after being married for 18 years, and I would say i am a success story of being single and happy. I will say, however, that it probably has to do with someone's personality as a whole. You know, some people just can't be alone while others enjoy alone time. Personally, I've never been the type who had to be with someone in a relationship or around people in general all the time to be happy.

When I got married, I was already a happy person. Marriage was just a natural extension of that happiness; i wasn't looking for someone to make me happy. Even as a teen, i never had to be dating all the time. I always just let it happen; i wasn't on the prowl.

Now that I'm divorced, it's the same. If someone came along, I might give it a try, but I'm not "looking." So far, I haven't bumped into anyone at the grocery or met someone naturally at work, and I'm fine with that. I'm content. I certainly don't want to get into a relationship just to fill a void. 

I realize that it's not a "snap of the finger" thing if that is not your personality, but I am living proof that single people can be happy, even after being in a relationship most of their life.


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## remmons

I am having the same feelings, being alone and wanting to be with someone, but I have chosen not to date for a given amount of time. I still need healing, I still need to know what I want out of life, I am still traveling down the road of independence, and I can't get that if I am dating or with someone. I haven't been divorced for a year yet, but I have turned down date offers from some very attractive ladies. Take your time, don't rush things. Your heart (and mind) will heal in due time.


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## nice777guy

sd212 said:


> Update since I started this thread:
> Phew! I tried to let my guard down this weekend and let things fly. I let it fly last night in particular and it bit me badly!
> 
> I guess I am just not wired that way because I have been sending this new girl mixed signals for some time.
> 
> Truth is, I've sent her mixed signals b/c some days I feel like crawling in a hole and dying and others I want to get better and embrace life. Well, last night I spent some quality time with her and then woke up this morning wanting to be just friends again.
> 
> Obviously she didn't take it well. I don't blame her a bit. She was none to happy with me and basically told me to have a nice life. She felt like I was using her to get over my W. I really wasn't doing that, I have genuine feelings for her but I'm just not ready.
> 
> Lesson learned: Some people should probably just pursue flings and whatnot but be damn careful of who you hurt in the process. Now I have two women, one who has forgotten all about me (W) and one who now pretty much hates my guts.
> 
> Dang, this is a treacherous journey.


Could totally see myself in your shoes!

Just remember - you are a human being. We all make mistakes.


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## Paradise

sd212 said:


> Truth is, I've sent her mixed signals b/c some days I feel like crawling in a hole and dying and others I want to get better and embrace life. Well, last night I spent some quality time with her and then woke up this morning wanting to be just friends again.
> 
> Lesson learned: Some people should probably just pursue flings and whatnot but be damn careful of who you hurt in the process. Now I have two women, one who has forgotten all about me (W) and one who now pretty much hates my guts.



Wow! I could have typed this!!! I did the exact same thing recently and I feel like scum for it. Makes me look like a typical guy! lol


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## nice777guy

Paradise said:


> Wow! I could have typed this!!! I did the exact same thing recently and I feel like scum for it. Makes me look like a typical guy! lol


Don't take this wrong guys - but I'm glad I read this...

Just very easy to get confused right now. 

But still - don't be too hard on yourselves...


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## Paradise

This is why I took 3 months off from dating in the first place. Ugh....

Not being too hard on myself but being a considerate person I definitely do not want to do this to anyone else. Last thing I want to do is toy with anyone's emotions. 

Another thing I have noticed is that I really like the ladies that want nothing to do with me. I think deep down I know it is safe to want to date them because I don't stand a chance! lol

I just don't like the dating scene.


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## remmons

Paradise said:


> This is why I took 3 months off from dating in the first place. Ugh....
> 
> Not being too hard on myself but being a considerate person I definitely do not want to do this to anyone else. Last thing I want to do is toy with anyone's emotions.
> 
> Another thing I have noticed is that I really like the ladies that want nothing to do with me. I think deep down I know it is safe to want to date them because I don't stand a chance! lol
> 
> I just don't like the dating scene.


I haven't went on a date since December 2010, with the exception of a lunch date with a good friend of mine. But when she started making "the moves" on me, I backed off. It has been over a year for me, and I still do not feel like going out on dates. I am not sure if I will be toying with someone's feelings, or if they will be toying with mine. All I know is, I am still having feelings for my ex W, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. So as long as I am going through these emotions, I will not date until I can be fully free of these feelings and emotions.


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## sd212

remmons said:


> I haven't went on a date since December 2010, with the exception of a lunch date with a good friend of mine. But when she started making "the moves" on me, I backed off. It has been over a year for me, and I still do not feel like going out on dates. I am not sure if I will be toying with someone's feelings, or if they will be toying with mine. All I know is, I am still having feelings for my ex W, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. So as long as I am going through these emotions, I will not date until I can be fully free of these feelings and emotions.



This scares the hell out of me. I'm so afraid I will never love another like I love her. Or worse yet, that I'll never stop having intense love and desire for my W.


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## Jayb

sd212 said:


> This scares the hell out of me. I'm so afraid I will never love another like I love her. Or worse yet, that I'll never stop having intense love and desire for my W.


I can understand this. right now, I'm resigning myself to celibacy the rest of my life because it seems too painful to go through the dating/hookup scene, especially with rebounds.


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## remmons

sd212 said:


> This scares the hell out of me. I'm so afraid I will never love another like I love her. Or worse yet, that I'll never stop having intense love and desire for my W.


I am scared too! I have had a few women talk to me here and there, I know that they were hitting on me, and I politely refused.
If this had been me several years ago I would have already been with one or a few of them. But now? I won't date until the time is right.



Jayb said:


> I can understand this. right now, I'm resigning myself to celibacy the rest of my life because it seems too painful to go through the dating/hookup scene, especially with rebounds.


I am resigning myself to celibacy, but not for life. I know how you feel with the pain of the dating scene. Besides, it seems that the few women that I have talked with, all of them are on the rebound.

My ex-W started dating before our divorce was final. I often wondered to myself "how can she do this?" Our friends can't figure her out either, so they just let her be (and hopefully her actions don't affect her kids). I have told my best friend that I haven't dated yet. He is encouraging me to go out and spend some time with someone, but I tell him that this is not in my plans for the near future and that I did not want to confuse my feelings and fall in love with a new woman, especially right away.

My ex-W is moving to Oklahoma early summer. She has apparently found herself a new man that she really likes, but she was planning on moving out of town twice before in the past year until she found out that these guys weren't what she had wanted after all. My friends all tell me that she is falling in love for all the wrong reasons. She is trying to fill that void that she just can't seem to get filled. I don't want to be this person to be falling in love because I am lonely, or for all the wrong reasons.


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## sd212

I should update here. The woman I had the brief rebound with and I hung out in a group this week and everything was great. She said she just needed a couple days to process everything. She said she knew what she was getting into and was a big girl. Thank goodness. We haven't been in touch like before of course but I'm sure glad to be her friend again.


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## madaboutlove

I had a very interesting visitor this week at work. A man I knew in college stopped by to see me. He ran into another person we went to school with over the weekend and they talked about me and where I was working. He has never been married, no kids, so probably not a good catch, but he did ask to get together. I am going to do it with a group of people at first but who knows. I thought that was interesting and was pretty excited about it, but then last night I totally crashed about it all. There is still only one person I want to be with. This litmus test did not have the desired result for me.


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## Traggy

madaboutlove said:


> I had a very interesting visitor this week at work. A man I knew in college stopped by to see me. He ran into another person we went to school with over the weekend and they talked about me and where I was working. He has never been married, no kids, so probably not a good catch, but he did ask to get together. I am going to do it with a group of people at first but who knows. I thought that was interesting and was pretty excited about it, but then last night I totally crashed about it all. There is still only one person I want to be with. This litmus test did not have the desired result for me.


I am sorry. Not sure why, but your words touched me. 

Hugs


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