# Disgusted



## mygirls2 (Apr 13, 2010)

So this is some pretty revealing stuff, but I suppose that is okay and necessary for some honest responses.

I believe my husband is a sex addict. After my kids, I found his stash of porn...but along with it was one of those body molds? ( Not blow up doll) I was totally grossed out about it and I actually stopped sleeping with him until I confronted the issue. He said he'd never used it..just wanted to have one. (I didn't believe it of course) He finally got rid of it all. About 3 months ago I found him at a strip club at 2am without his wedding band on, on adult porn dating sites, he is always downloading videos on his phone and I even found where he looks up local strip clubs . I also found one of my children's socks as his "sock." I am absolutely appalled by it all and I do not know whether or not he needs help or I need to get the heck out now. He says it's something he does and doesn't really think about it at the time and he gets mad when I mention it (almost like he's ashamed)...but from my point of view it's horrific and I do not know what goes on his mind or that I even want to know...Men, please tell me why this is happening? Do normal men do this? Sex is awesome yes, but isn't this a little overboard and wrong on so many levels?


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

I like porn and strip clubs as much as the next guy, and I hate to rat out a fellow dude, but yes, it seems a bit much. I get into it a little more heavily when my wife is holding out (long story that I'll spare you), but when she makes herself available, I cut WAY back. Me and the guys hit the strip clubs for jolly's, but there's no touching and I tell my wife. 

I'd be very concerned about the dating sites. Never have and never would. That takes it to a whole new level. He's looking for emotional AND physicall connections. Taking the ring off in strip clubs? I'm not sure what that means. I would think a stripper would WANT married guys. All cash, no commitment.

I can't even IMAGINE what the sock thing is.


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## mygirls2 (Apr 13, 2010)

Cody5,
Thank you. Helped lower my concerns...I am not sure what his thoughts were behing the dating sites...He said for attention, however...like you said it is involving an emotional connection. As for the sock, I don't know either. I can only hope it was one of those things, it was dark and he didn't know what he was grabbing at...or how some people can get carried away and they are grabbing stuff and moving around in places of the house without thinking about it when getting pretty heated. It just freaked me out to be honest. I actually do not mind porn at all, and I think strip clubs are exciting...I've told him this thinking maybe we can do something about it together... would you let your wife join you if she wanted or would that be awkward?


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

I would LOVE it for my wife to join me at a strip club if she were that kind of wife, which unfortunately she isn't. I was at a club once where a guy was sitting right at the stage with his wife. She was obviously having fun and everyone loved it.


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## mygirls2 (Apr 13, 2010)

Well good for you. I can tell that it is just all for fun for you and that you would love your wife to be involved. I mentioned it to him at one point and he didn't really say much. When I caught him at the strip club he was sitting away from floor and just watching, so I do not think if I was there I would ruin his fun..in fact...he would have more fun when we got home..So Idk..haha. How could I try to talk him into going together?


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## lisa1994 (Apr 12, 2010)

I just wonder if your guys enjoy going to woman strip club, if there is any, with your wife? I saw them on TV, never been to a real one, don't know if there is one, but if there is one, would you go with your wife and watching a man dance naked in front you and your wife?


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## Eraz2010 (Apr 1, 2010)

Just a quick point on the dating sites... I have once listed a free profile to see if I got any response. Why did I do it? Um, just really to see if I would get any response. I took the caution of doing it on a site geographically in another english speaking country on the other side of the planet to reduce any chance of anyone knowing me seeing.

I was/am happily married. I just wanted to see if I would get any response. I did. A good few, too. Some were very cute ladies. I didn't reply to any of them.

If that helps, there you go. I also go to strip clubs, but always tell my wife (she's fine with it... says if I wanna go get my beer money taken off me and I can't even touch who is she to stop me being a fool). I've never used socks (for that) let alone kids socks. I occassionally enjoy a page or two of internet porn, but those cookies etc and the resultant "spam" generally keeps me off them.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

I hold many local and regional masterbation records, but I have NO IDEA what this sock thing is.


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## mygirls2 (Apr 13, 2010)

I still do not know about the socks. I haven't really said a whole lot about it since the first time I brought it up. I don't really know how without making him embarrassed or mad. I am not sure. So as far as the porn sites go, do you think I should worry? It sounds as though its farely common for men to get on porn sites or even datin sites..


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What's more important is what you two AGREE on.

There's a great book (Relationship Book, Self Help Relationship Book For a Man, Best Manual for Men) you can get him, that talks about having guy time, but if you have guy time, you also owe it to your wife - since you ARE married - to have wife and family time. As long as wife and family are getting what they need (i.e. not replacing you with girls at the club), you should be allowed to have YOUR time, too. 

Now, mind you, if that 'time' he's talking about is related to clubs and stuff, rather than, say, basketball with the boys, there's a chance and even probability that it could lead to cheating. So there's that.

Basically, it's all about communication.


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## Christine (May 26, 2010)

No selfrespecting woman should have to put up with ANY of the above mentioned atrocities. As a good looking, educated, well read and well travelled and intelligent woman (with a brain) there is NO WAY I will ever stand for this kind of behaviour. As woman we have been brainwashed by the media to accept this kind of utter disrespect as "boys will be boys." What nonsense! Any man that will not or cannot have sex with a real life, warm blooded woman, has some serious issues. He is escaping reality with the junk you can find around any corner or on your pc, tv, whatever. The very thought of seeing my husband jerking off while drooling over some porn **** disgusts me to my core. I will loose ALL respect for him and he knows this. It is high time women start standing up for themselves, their values and their own wellbeing. We are worthy of our husbands' respect and faithfulness. Personaly I won't settle for less. A man who marries you and then lusts after strippers and porn****s is not marriage material and more importantly NOT father material either. I'd say be afraid, be VERY afraid if you are married to one. I love my husband, love having sex with him, fantasises about HIM only and I never have a 'headache', so what reason can there be for him to go and "look for it elsewhere?" Stop justifying evil deeds of selfish people, see it for what it is: selfish lust at the price of your sensibilities, your self esteem and your marriage!


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

mygirls, 

The molded thing is a little creepy for me and I like do occasionally indulge in clubs, porn the dating this could probably be benign but, would not ingore it as Possible red flag. 

I think Cristine's comments are out there. Her comments insinuate that allowing some of this lacks self-respect. I hope for his sake she never checks the cookies on her husbands computer.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Christine said:


> No selfrespecting woman should have to put up with ANY of the above mentioned atrocities. As a good looking, educated, well read and well travelled and intelligent woman (with a brain) there is NO WAY I will ever stand for this kind of behaviour. As woman we have been brainwashed by the media to accept this kind of utter disrespect as "boys will be boys." What nonsense! Any man that will not or cannot have sex with a real life, warm blooded woman, has some serious issues. He is escaping reality with the junk you can find around any corner or on your pc, tv, whatever. The very thought of seeing my husband jerking off while drooling over some porn **** disgusts me to my core. I will loose ALL respect for him and he knows this. It is high time women start standing up for themselves, their values and their own wellbeing. We are worthy of our husbands' respect and faithfulness. Personaly I won't settle for less. A man who marries you and then lusts after strippers and porn****s is not marriage material and more importantly NOT father material either. I'd say be afraid, be VERY afraid if you are married to one. I love my husband, love having sex with him, fantasises about HIM only and I never have a 'headache', so what reason can there be for him to go and "look for it elsewhere?" Stop justifying evil deeds of selfish people, see it for what it is: selfish lust at the price of your sensibilities, your self esteem and your marriage!


You sound like you need to get laid. Life with you sounds like it would drive a man to drink. The same media is driving men to be half woman. We are different and your emotional tie to sex won't allow you to see that most men can seperate the fantasy of porn with the reality of married life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Okay, those comments about Christine are uncalled for. She is stating her opinion and personal attacks are wrong. As a woman I can see some of her points. Not all, but some. I feel that porn can be a substitute to real intimacy for some men. Not all but some. I can't even tell you how many times I have read on this website about how a husband rejects his wife for porn. It can lead to total resentment on her part and a complete expectation on his. It can be very damaging. Again, not all but some. I watch porn with my husband. We enjoy it but we also can appreciate that lots that goes on in it is ridiculous and not normal life. Many people cannot however. It does set a level of expecation in some men that this is what is normal in a bedroom. Porn has pushed the boundary for many men's expectation.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

uh,,,,,,



*DISGUSTED IS ABOUT RIGHT ! :cussing: *


come on folks/moderators/webmaster.......
shouldnt this be posted in the SEX forum ? :rules:

at least there we're 4warned.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

cb45,
I apologize for my graphic description. I have edited my wording. I sometimes forget the rules in each forum. I sincerely apologize for any offense taken.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

no prob.

just easy for me to become confused which forum

i'm in is all i meant.


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