# Weird Space



## wesleyz1689389 (Apr 9, 2018)

Hi y'all. So I will try to give my backdrop as best I can and explain the scenario. My wife and I have been married 9 years, I'm 30 she's 29. We have two beautiful children ages 5 and 2 who I love with everything I have. Our relationship has never been a honeymoon but more like "working" towards something if that makes since. Arguments but nothing intense like physical etc. My wife is a very hard headed woman. Which bothers me obviously lol. So we lived out of state for a good chunk of our marriage and about 2 years ago got her back home to be by family. I thought things would be great but sadly its looking like the end. I think she feels like I find her inadequate which I do not but she takes it to heart. Things I cant personally deal with, like uncleanliness, bad financial choices etc. I voice my opinion about them in the most constructive way possible and she gets SUPER offended. So around Thanksgiving she started seeing this OLDER white guy, like mid 50's at least. BTW she's black, I'm white if it matters. So that gut feeling I had was right. I see the whole deal, nude texts, all the infatuation, they meet for a rendezvous and supposedly no sex because she was on her period but cmon ya know? I agree to try and work it out mainly for my kids so there we go. Then I find out she let's our mortgage get behind for basically just bad spending habits. I gave her PLENTY of money to cover it but she spent it frivolously. So, 2 months later. I take my son to wal mart for a snack. He says "this is where mommy met her old friend". This idiot takes my kids with her to wal mart, meets her ex drug dealer boyfriend to "talk". I'm ****ing blown away lol. So I let that go too. All this stuff made me super insecure. Like I'm asking her to sit by me on the couch, cuddle in bed, sex advances etc. 9/10 I'm pushed away basically. After literally about a month of that I finally just ****ing lost it. Just one of those nights she does that I say to myself "this chick doesn't give a **** about me". Next day I write a girl on instagram I thought was cute I've met before and we hit it off great. This is a current situation. The new girl is coming at me hard. I'm asking my wife do you want to work on this? She's telling me "I don't know if I want to be married anymore, I don't have an answer". So I've got one chick dieing for my attention then my wife saying she doesn't know if she wants to be with me and no time frame for answer. I'm so confused I Dont know what to do. If the new girl and I go out again I can almost put money on it we are ****ing and to be honest I don't know if I would feel bad? The only reason I wrote this girl was because I was hurt but now I'm talking to her mom than my wife and I actually like. I guess I should also have said I'm generally a super loyal person. Always have been. I work very hard, take care of myself physically very well and really wouldn't have any problems getting who I want. But I want my family but it seems she doesn't anymore. I'm just confused as to what I do? Do I even stop talking to the new girl? I can't beg and plead tbh I feel like that turns women off. Thoughts? Tank you


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

First of all, WHY have you put up with your wife disrespecting you so badly. Just file already. Don't wait for HER to make a choice, you should choose for what is best for YOU and your children, and being married to a cheat who doesn't care about you isn't best for either.

Second, while you DO want to move on with this new girl, I would suggest that you chill a bit on that, explain your situation, move to separate/divorce. IF it is meant to be with the new girl, it will be AFTER you get all of your financial/marriage/custody issues taken care of -- don't rush to be a cheater just because your wife is.

Again, I don't see any sort of hope here -- expose your wife for the cheat she is (you have proof), get with a lawyer ASAP to get this started and get your finances under YOUR control, not your wife.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Ok, lets get one thing straight.. you can only change yourself... 

You seemed to have gotten yourself into a pretty nasty spiral. For one, if your wife is really bad with finances why is she the one managing the mortgage? You need to take over all financial responsibilities away from her to protect yourself and your kids.

You need to set some boundaries. If i learnt my wife was meeting other men with my kids (or even without them) it would be the end of our marriage and she would remember the anger in my eyes like a dream that never goes away.

I wouldnt start cheating on her until you decide what you want to do with her. I dont know what the divorce laws are where you live but you might screw yourself even more if you start cheating and she finds out.

For the sake of your kid, get control of your life and theirs... decide what you want to do with your life.. and move forward


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## wesleyz1689389 (Apr 9, 2018)

Thanks everyone. Still learning this site. But yes as of two weeks ago she has no access to my finances 😂


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

First clean up the mess with your wife
fiances and kids before moving into 
another relationship. Does the other 
girl know your married ? If she does 
then maybe she is not a good choice 
to date either. What future do you expect 
with a woman who wants to date a married
man? Fix one thing then wait and move on.


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## wesleyz1689389 (Apr 9, 2018)

She does know I'm married. And tbh I totally thought the marriage was done just by her actions. I mean my gut feeling still is that she wants out. Everything she says and does points to out lol


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Didn’t read all this, but you should know this —

If they met, they banged.


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## wesleyz1689389 (Apr 9, 2018)

Agreed


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

so why haven't you started the separation/divorce process? She's doing this IN FRONT of your kids! You need to get with a lawyer to protect yourself and your kids.


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