# Today was the day.



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Today we signed divorce papers. The lawyer was like if both of you agree and want to stop this I can within 30days. I was thinking yeah right, that is not going to happen.

1. I am not sure why my soon to be exH gets agitated about me changing my name. He made a comment in the lawyers office and I was like you took that name from me a while ago.

2. Then he is like this is the best thing to do, you dont deserve this. I did not want to have this happen again. I think again, wow the fact that he could say that is scary since its already been 2x

3. He feels like my family should have consoled him more. My mom went off when she seen him in store with girl I found pic of. Continues to say its not what I think...

4. I told him I hope he got everything he wants in all of this and what was it that was so tantalizing about these women that pulled you away he said..there was nothing.. He said hopefully one day he can sit down and explain this because I did not deserve any of this... Ahhhhhh

5. I came home & cried sad I spent most of day having people help me get house ready to rent. I think wow this is my first house I ever purchased and now memories are hurtful here and I have to let this go to stay in apartment. Its not worth trying to financially balance two places to live on my own. Just feels weird to think of someone in here. Then signing papers just made this so real. Not that I did not know its just the fact its happening.

6. He keeps lying about where he lives saying its not what I think but I have to let that go because that does nit matter anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I'm so sorry! You came here and made a good sized, coherent post so you're probably doing better than you think. I hope you're ignoring him and his stupid comments about your name and your family consoling him. Those are seriously two of the stupidest things I have ever heard.


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hi Staircase,

Thanks for the feedback. I am just kind of laying in bed now. I did not plan to come back here this weekend but he did not have his stuff packed and ready to go so it is what it is. Something that is weird he keeps saying he is doing what he has to do so I wonder is he using the OW as a temporary move out because he keeps saying he is moving in this other location but is doing what he has to now. I am not sure I try not to think of it (breathe).

When we were in the waiting room for the lawyer he said all I wanted was a baby. I said while I did too, you built my hopes and dreams that I would be a good mother and now its gone. I just wanted to wait until I finished school. Both of us where in school and working crazy hours. I just finished my PHd. I had been working crazy hours teaching (on the side), to help maintain small apartment we got due to distance of my job, working full time and going to school. He was going to school and working as well along with an off duty job. I told him I thought we were going to try next year, all I wanted was to do was finish school and I was willing to find another job to make sure our family was together and now my dream is gone so ...how do you think I feel. _He was so proud I was offerred the job when it happened because I did not want to bring any strain on our relationship. We knew the only way for me to get a promotion where I worked was for me to leave and the goal was for him to get a little more experience and transfer but then the job market got bad._ Then he apologized. I was like really, if this was in your spirit and you worried about doing this a 3rd time to me do you really think a baby would have helped, no. It would have made things way more complicated now...way more..

I asked him how would he feel if I did what he did to me. Then he was said the same as you (Eyeroll)!!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Hey, congrats on the PhD! I work with a lot of fresh PhD recipients; I know you guys are basically free slave labor to the school so I know it's very, very tough. That's a HUGE accomplishment!!!!


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

LMAO!! Thanks Staircase. :smthumbup: 

Yes, with everything comes determination and sacrifice. My graduation ceremony is in two weeks. YAHOO

I am trying to stay focused and concentrate on that so I can celebrate with my family. My H says that he is so proud of me for accomplishing my goal etc.. I cannot let me personal life take away this success for me because it has come with a lot of determination and lack of sleep for sure


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

W/e our exes can go fart off. Take this time and be very proud of that PhD. Make us all call you Dr. d1221


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

COngratulations, I am almost finished with my PhD, so I know how hard you worked. I also know it isn't easy on the spouse when we are so focused, but this is the time to celebrate and your H is a jerk for leaving now. You are one of the few who can stick it out, remember that


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks Saand.

my H Wrkd third shift he is in law enforcement and I use to stay up during his shift grade papers, work etc..fix him late night food like I was a diner for him to run in and out while he was on shift. I did not mind I liked being there for him. I would cook brkfst for him when he got home in the mrng so I could fall asleep with him. Weekends he was off I would wake up early and do work (grading pprs and my own work) so I could spend quality time with him. I just wanted to be there supportive and take care of my family etc.. 

Heck to top it all off I would help him with his school work doing research etc.. He has been in school for 3yrs and has not finished his assoc degree yet and only has one class to go. I hate that he has not finished yet but he has to follow his own dreams I supported him he just lost focus on alot of stuff.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

d1221, you did what you are supposed to do, be there, love and support. They don't see till it's too lat ;o( Best of everything to you.


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