# So, I'm curious, is anyone happily married in a sexless marriage?



## hehasmyheart

I see it all the time on this site about one person that feels neglected with sex. So, I wonder if there is a happy marriage out there where neither one requires any or much sex? Can two people be compatible in this way, or is it usually just a result of problems in marriage that cause the lack of sex on one end of those unhappier marriages? In other words, maybe some people really just don't require it, or see it as a necessity?


----------



## malmale

u should head over here 

Sex in Marriage


----------



## waiwera

I believe it could only work if you are both LD.

I have friends (a couple) who are both LD... they joke about it being excellent birth control and it seems to be no issue at all. They are still affectionate and loving towards each other.

All the other sexless relationships I know of lack affection and there is growing resentment from the higher drive partner.

For me... if my H didn't want sex... I imagine it would cause the slow death of my marriage.

I could not live in a sexless marriage... it would be soul destroying for me.

PS: OP I just had a lookie at your previous posts... very sad for you.

Are you thinking about leaving the marriage?


----------



## Hortensia

To me, "married" and "sexless" are oxymorons. 
I don't understand these kind of people and relationships.

Married, and you have to masturbate in the bathroom? Have your frustrated, unmet needs drive you crazy? What kind of martyrdom is that? 

If my spouse does not give me romantic love and sex, he's not interested in me. So why would I still want to be married?

If I just need someone to talk to, I can call my mom.Or best friend. 
If I need company in my time off, have some friends over. 
If I want both company and someone to split expenses with, but no sex, a room mate would do that.

So, what's the point of all this sexless marriage thing?


----------



## MattMatt

Hortensia said:


> To me, "married" and "sexless" are oxymorons.
> I don't understand these kind of people and relationships.
> 
> Married, and you have to masturbate in the bathroom? Have your frustrated, unmet needs drive you crazy? What kind of martyrdom is that?
> 
> If my spouse does not give me romantic love and sex, he's not interested in me. So why would I still want to be married?
> 
> If I just need someone to talk to, I can call my mom.Or best friend.
> If I need company in my time off, have some friends over.
> If I want both company and someone to split expenses with, but no sex, a room mate would do that.
> 
> So, what's the point of all this sexless marriage thing?


So if your husband became incapable of sex due to an illness you would divorce him and move on to Husband 2.0, a fully functioning model?

I see.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## wowzer

My wife is


----------



## Bobby5000

There are several different issues. 

1. Emotional rejection. If you want sex, and are constantly being rejected, it is emotionally stressing. You're like the nerd going out with the cheerleader who gives you a peck on the cheek at the end of the night, you know you are getting second-best and you feel like crap because of it. 

If you don't care about sex, as with 55 year old woman who had a husband with an illness, and the cause of a lack of intimacy is not rejection, there is less of a problem. 

2. Physical issues. Physical needs are important. A man will become stressed, irritable, and frustrated.


----------



## Red Sonja

Don't kid yourself, a woman will also "become stressed, irritable, and frustrated" with constant sexual rejection.


----------



## lonelyhusband321

EVERY relationship is different.

Personally, I don't think a "sexless" would make me either happy OR fulfilled. It would just make me....well, sexless!

It would be kind of like just being friends....


----------



## hehasmyheart

waiwera said:


> I believe it could only work if you are both LD.
> 
> I have friends (a couple) who are both LD... they joke about it being excellent birth control and it seems to be no issue at all. They are still affectionate and loving towards each other.
> 
> All the other sexless relationships I know of lack affection and there is growing resentment from the higher drive partner.
> 
> For me... if my H didn't want sex... I imagine it would cause the slow death of my marriage.
> 
> I could not live in a sexless marriage... it would be soul destroying for me.
> 
> PS: OP I just had a lookie at your previous posts... very sad for you.
> 
> Are you thinking about leaving the marriage?


Thanks Waiwera. You're so right that it's soul destroying. It's given me a lot of problems with self esteem, and also intensifies my social anxiety issues. It makes me feel unloved, unworthy, and inferior. That, along with the verbal assaults and other issues, means there is only one choice.

I just need to stop analyzing so much, and start taking action.


----------

