# I feel like imbeing held hostage



## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

My lawyer advised me not to move out or indicate anything about moving out unless she or her lawyer write up something clearing me of any financial responsibility of the house and the maintenance of the house. I would move out tomorrow if I could SHe tells me her lawyer wont draft up an agreement or let her write something that would let me move out without being accused of abandonment. I just want out, she claims she wants me out as bad as I want to be out but yet she does nothing to make it happen. I have begged my lawyer and pleaded with him to get me out of the house. She tells me to leave and move out and that she will not claim abandonment but i dont believe her as far as i could throw her. It is such a contentious atmosphere and so unhealthy for my two kids. I'm tired of fighting and everyday she is doing something spiteful and vindictive to me. I dont understand that if she wants me out so bad why not tell her lawyer that she wants me out, my lawyer knows how bad I want out. Just let me go and maybe we can start being civil human beings again!


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I read a good article on "I just want out".

The pressure, hurt, and tiredness build up. Some of it is on purpose. If you crack, the result on your settlement is very negative. 

Its basically a game. Something along the line of buying a used car. As soon as you can't take the run around and waiting and stupidness of it all, you lose a TON of money.

If your wife pours on horrible feelings, constant nagging, and meanness, she wins when you crack. She also knows how to push your buttons more than anyone else in this world.

If you are religiously inclined, find peace there if you can.

I'm sorry that is the best I can give you.

Best of luck


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sometime when it comes to the law it doesn't hurt to do our own research. See what you can do or have done...maybe get a another lawyer.

Face it, not many folks are in a big rush to let someone out of there financial responsablities. It sound like you will have to put an offer on the table that will intice your wife. 

Money makes the world go around get some more of that and you can get what ever you want. So sell the house and give her an offer she can't refuse. 

If there are other assets then that can also be something to look at. Again its all about money.

Thats wierd you cant go to court and get something on your own?


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

I know that in California the strategy of “abandonment” is often played. I am also aware of how a friend’s attorney was able to have the wife booted out of the house for “creating a hostile environment” within the family home every time she returned. When the judgment is made to remove a spouse from the home, “abandonment” is no longer a useful tactic.


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## Lost30 (May 13, 2011)

I am going through very similiar issues. I asked my husband to leave after his non admittance to his affair. That mind you I heard through an accidental phone call! So asked him to leave "nicely". He refused, said he makes more $ and that I will need his help due to my working days and starting nursing school evenings (aug.) I feel hostage too. I don't know what to do. I haven't involved a lawyer. Want to do this without drama. I'm afraid of him crying abandoment also, if I go when I start school. Please let me know how you go about this. So that I can have some guidance. It is hell here. We have 3 kids, and its so uncomfortable for all of us.


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