# Another day, another 'what the heck' moment



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

So things have been going pretty well for quite some time. There has been a bit of stress on her end and she has canceled plans on me a few times due to understandable reasons. Well today was a standard "I thought you were mad, so now I am upset."I am sure all of us have done this in some form or fashion. Well I picked her up from work (she had a very rough day).
I was silent in the car. I figured that she was tired and wasn't in the mood for the dinner plan with the kids. I didn't say she anything to her. As we drove to her place( I had stuff to drop off for her any way), she said a few things that didn't seem like they needed a response. I saw that she was visibly upset. I asked her if she was okay, she said yes. Long story short, she said she was not wanting to do anything.
I wanted to do dinner really bad. 
We went inside then she said that we were "clashing" and I was sending off "leave me alone" vibes. I was tired. 
She still said no to dinner, though I asked. She gave me a weak hug, I can tell when she is not into being around me. 
I got home then she starts texting me random things about the kids. I know she feels bummed too.
How do I avoid this stuff? I don't like this crap.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Avoiding conflict is not the goal.

The goal is to not look weak after she tries to put it all on you by asking her to stay anyway.

That's a "thank you" for rotten treatment.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Avoiding conflict is not the goal.
> 
> The goal is to not look weak after she tries to put it all on you by asking her to stay anyway.
> 
> That's a "thank you" for rotten treatment.


I understand that fully.

I am home. No dinner. Thankfully I did not waste money. Unfortunately I am not in the mood to go out. I am too tired from work. 
As I said there was no yelling or anything like that. It was the usual "you ruined our night." type of thing.
Conrad, what would you have done in that scenario?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Agast84 said:


> I understand that fully.
> 
> I am home. No dinner. Thankfully I did not waste money. Unfortunately I am not in the mood to go out. I am too tired from work.
> As I said there was no yelling or anything like that. It was the usual "you ruined our night." type of thing.
> Conrad, what would you have done in that scenario?


"I'm not ok with taking it out on me"

And then... stony silence.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Fair enough.


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