# Leave him, because I love him?



## paulnewmanseyes (Jan 26, 2011)

Hello all, I am not married, but I seek the advice of those who have been. 
I have been dating my bf for over 2 years, we currently live together and are madly in love. I just graduated in December from college, and he is one year younger than me, with a year and a half to go. 
I know I need to move on and work on my career, but we are so happy living together, its hard to sign up for the long distance thing again (did 4 months international). I would be holding myself back to stay working in our college town for another year. 
I am thinking about saying we should see other people when I leave this summer. I don't really want to but I figure I could kill two birds with one stone by doing that. I am the only girl he has ever been with and I know he is insecure about it. So if he has time without me, he will miss me, and if he tries other women, he will get that out of his system, and can't think that his inexperience could be reason for relationship doubts. 
what do you all think?


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

paulnewmanseyes said:


> I am thinking about saying we should see other people when I leave this summer. I don't really want to but I figure I could kill two birds with one stone by doing that. I am the only girl he has ever been with and I know he is insecure about it. So if he has time without me, he will miss me, and if he tries other women, he will get that out of his system, and can't think that his inexperience could be reason for relationship doubts.
> what do you all think?


I think it sounds like you are trying to control the future and your boyfriend's future emotions.

What makes you think that cutting him loose even though you "don't really want to" will go the way you predict?

Do not, by any means, break up with someone as part of a grand plan to get him to come back to you.

If he has relationship doubts, those are his to figure out; if he feels he needs time away from you to figure it out, let him make that decision. 
Another spell of long distance could either be what he needs to confirm his commitment to you, or confirm that he needs time apart.

If you don't want to break up with him, don't.
If the best thing for your career is to move out of your college town, do that.

Ask him what he needs and wants, before you break up with him because you think you already know what he needs and wants.


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