# Taking responsibility for breakup



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

My STBXH is living in a fairy land. Its safer that way, he can still tell himself every day that he is perfect and a wonderful person with no faults. He has it all together and his next wife will be perfect because it was all ME not him.

He refuses to take an ounce of responsbility for all the damage he did to our relationship. I get feedback from people saying he tells everyone he dumped me but he tried SO HARD in our marriage. It makes me sick. Tried? 

All the EA's, secret dinners and lunches with other women ("Friends to talk to"), secret texts, emails, phone calls, facebook flirts, the inability to emotionally attach or share with me, the secret life, the verbal abuse, the neglect of his wife (me). Him never wanting to do anything with me or spend time with me. Him leaving me at home and going out without me all the time.

HE TRIED!!!

For the past 7 yrs I have been so lonely. Now he's moved out I don't feel lonely anymore. Funny enough.

I told my IC I don't even want to be on friendly terms with him until he starts to look at himself, recognize the ways he killed and sabotaged our relationship and start apologizing AND admitting it to everyone else too.

But I'm not holding my breath... It still makes me fume listening to him tell people this bag of lies.


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

((HUGS)) i understand what you are feeling. my first husband was abusive, but convinced himself and many others that i caused our marriage to fail.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Oh I know exactly what you are going through. My STBXH started telling his family he had enough and the marriage was over, until I corrected him and told them I threw his out. Since he's out of state now we don't share many of the same friends anymore. But he has never taken responsibility for any of his actions, not the job-hopping (now unemployed), not the verbal abuse (he had a bad childhood), not the multiple EA's, or the one PA I learned about ("it wasn't about you", "we were going through a bad time"). No effort at all. You know I think that's why this whole process still hurts, I wanted to be worth the effort to someone else and wanted that someone to be my husband.


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