# In need of support and advice



## Christie30 (Sep 21, 2011)

My fiance left me about a month ago after four years for some girl who "hit him up" on facebook. I was shocked, devistated, words cant describe what I went through. Apparently after a couple weeks she didnt want him anymore and he statrted texting me and emailing me. So of course I went running back but then after a week he is back to wanting nothing to do with me again. I dont know what happened. He doesnt give me any real answers. I try to call him or text him, but he lets me know I am just bothering him. I think he is talking to her again. Thats fine. Today is my first day of not contacting him at all. I am 30 and I thought I had found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I dont know how to get through this! I dont know what to do. Ive only eaten enough to stay alive in the past month, I feel abandoned because I dont have any family and his family was my family the past four years..so I am not only losing him...I am losing all of that too.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

dude. what have you lost. 

a man who jerks you around, 
cheats on you, 
abandoned you, 
lied to you,
betrayed you
disrespected you


you want all that back?:scratchhead:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Doesn't feel like it at this moment, I know, but you are blessed beyond your wildest dreams! Most women don't get to find out their man is a louse until years after the marriage ceremony. He revealed his true colors in time and you have been spared. This guy so does not deserve you. He so does not respect you. You are so worthy of better. You have expended 4 years of your precious life on someone who didn't deserve it and who can't reciprocate. It would be a shame to devote another irreplaceable minute. I predict you will find a real man worthy of your devotion and when you do you will be very relieved you are no longer with whatzizname. 
You had a life before whatzizname and you are more than capable of having one without whatzizname. It'll be a change but your life will be an honest one. In your new life you will never be second fiddle to anyone. You won't be anyone's backup plan.


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## Christie30 (Sep 21, 2011)

I do not want all of that back. I want to move on but like so many others I made him my world and now that he is gone its like I am grieving the loss. 

@ Unbelievable you are right, I am blessed that I didnt marry him or have any children with him. I know that this is his loss and he doesnt deserve me. I knew he didnt deserve me when I was with him...sad right? But that doesnt change the fact that I am heart broken. And your right I know I will never be someones back up plan again. I just hope I choose wiser next time.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Christie--you are right to feel sad. He has broken your heart and let you for another, then came back, then bailed again.

NO CONTACT. AT ALL. Whatsoever! 

He is not worthy of you and you deserve lightyears better. Know that. Value yourself. He didn't. Let him go.


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## Christie30 (Sep 21, 2011)

Thank you JellyBeans.


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## Nickitta (May 12, 2011)

> I feel abandoned because I dont have any family and his family was my family the past four years..so I am not only losing him...I am losing all of that too.


Believe me, listen to what people are saying to you in this thread. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't get married to this man.


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## naomi105813 (Oct 7, 2011)

You should remember,the happiness is about yourself.


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## LadyGemma (Oct 4, 2011)

Christie,

You may not be aware of this, but you are actually going through an emotional abusive relationship. He has isolated you where you have no friends, family so you feel going back to him is your only option. You need to possible look up abusive relationships and get some advice on how to escape this.

To be honest, if you actually think you are worth something at the end of the day you will walk away from him. If you do not contact him and even when he contacts you just ignore him and then tell him that he is bothering you and make him out to be a inconvenience to your life, it will actually drive him nuts. Make him suffer a little, take back your control and be a women!

Good luck!


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## sadbride (Oct 7, 2011)

You are going to grieve. I heard a counselor say once that it takes as long as you were involved with someone to get over him/her. But it happens! Time passes, and then there's someone new, who treats you wonderfully.

Don't ever contact him again. Grieve in your way. If it is at all possible, see a counselor just so a professional can help you process your feelings of grief. You will survive this and be better.

*hugs*


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## rorinrory (Oct 7, 2011)

i know i am taking a bit different turn on this than everyone else, but.... what's the background on this? were there any issues going on before this? if you could turn him around would you still want him back? if so, has he maybe not been feeling appreciated, wanted, etc. lately? if so, probabley this woman made him feel attractive, wanted, etc and he's been missing that from you?


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