# what can i do?



## andramont726 (Nov 1, 2012)

Hi all,
This is only my first post, so please be kind to me 
My boyfriend complains that im not adventurous enough between the sheets and i try to be but other than him i have only had one other sexual partner and we didnt really try to go beyond basics. My boyfriend on the other hand has had about 11 partners and is extremely experimental. i dont want to be a prude but im just not ready to be a super freak yet. What should i do? :scratchhead:


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

what is he asking you to do?


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Your bf should kindly tech you all the ways to have fun, if he cares about you!


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## helpwanted (Sep 16, 2012)

andramont726 said:


> Hi all,
> This is only my first post, so please be kind to me
> My boyfriend complains that im not adventurous enough between the sheets and i try to be but other than him i have only had one other sexual partner and we didnt really try to go beyond basics. My boyfriend on the other hand has had about 11 partners and is extremely experimental. i dont want to be a prude but im just not ready to be a super freak yet. What should i do? :scratchhead:


Depending how long you have been together and assuming you trust him not to hurt you. I say you experiment with him. Tell him you will try something new with him and ask him what his favorite position is. Ask him to guide you as you aren't too sure what to do. Start small. Good Luck unleashing your inner freak!


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I would just tell him you need to ease into it and take it slow on different things. I really think.communication is key!








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## Pinkme (Oct 15, 2012)

Tell him to communicate with you on what he would like. From there you can decide if it is something you want to do.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Only do things you are ok with doing. Hold firm if you're not ok with it.

By now I assume he's told you a few different things he'd like to do, so maybe each month or so take one of the things he's suggested and give it a try. Use the rest of the month to do it a few more times so you can get comfortable doing it and decide if it's something you want to keep doing or not.

As long as he's not pushy about it, that can be a great thing for you. Sex is wonderful and it's even better when you have an open partner who is willing to do different things, and offer different things rather than just falling into a rut. Enjoy!


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

He is the more experienced one and you seem willing enough, so he should leading you instead of complaining that you aren't "adventurous" enough. He probably doesn't feel like he can just spring certain activities on you like he could with prior partners, which is a good thing, otherwise he would just be an insensitive a$$ or worse. But he also doesn't know how to say "I want to try X, how do you feel about that?". Which is the conversation you really need to have before trying something new. 

I would just ask him about some things that he wants to do with you. Let him know you want to try new things, but that you want to learn about them beforehand. Your reaction to those things may range from immediate wet panties to complete and utter disgust. Just keep in mind that when he tells you what he has in mind he is making himself vulnerable and taking a risk. If you want him to keep sharing his ideas, and you do, you need to avoid judging him. Talking about sexual desires is an intimate act.

If it turns out after some experimentation that he really wants or needs a lot of things that are just out of bounds for you, its great that you figured that out before getting married. It could also be that you are ok with these activities but that he wants them a lot more than you do, or they don't really bring you any significant pleasure. Again, good to find that stuff out before marriage. Remember, his tastes and yours are unlikely to change after you get married.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

andramont726 said:


> i dont want to be a prude but im just not ready to be a super freak yet. What should i do? :scratchhead:


Um, start getting ready to be a super freak? Or, admit that the two of you may not be compatible. If you don't like the same things, why are you still together? Are you prepared to lose him to save your image as a "wholesome" girl behind closed doors?


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Um, start getting ready to be a super freak? Or, admit that the two of you may not be compatible. If you don't like the same things, why are you still together? Are you prepared to lose him to save your image as a "wholesome" girl behind closed doors?


Rather uncalled for. She said 'yet' and she indicated in her original post that she's willing to try new things but she has zero experience while he has plenty and is compliaining she's not adventurous enough, even though she's trying to be.

Rome wasn't built in a day, nor should someone be expected to go from missionairy sex to ball gags and whips in a week.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Well if he's complaining then there's a problem. Minimizing it doesn't make his feelings go away. This seems to me like her problem as much as his.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Which is why she's here asking for help. Telling her to go freak in the bedroom or they aren't compatible isn't it.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If you say so. Neither of us knows how strongly her bf feels about this. I'd hate to see her back in a month crying because he left. You don't have to agree but I don't think there's anything wrong with suggesting she look for her freak flag and suggesting that she evaluate how compatible she is with him if he wants that and she doesn't.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

That is a great suggestion.

That's also different than "get freaky or get out of the relationship', which from what i read is the essence of what you wrote.

Either way, I think we're done arguing over what is likely a misunderstanding of grammer.

I do agree she needs to meet him halfway on this issue, as from his standpoint being sexually frustrated isn't going to fly for long for him.


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

Compatibility has yet to be determined, and the term "Freak" carries no meaning whatsoever.

He wants some things but she doesn't know what they are or even if she'd like them. She has no idea what she wants due to lack of experience.

So at this point its just a communication issue. 

It's such a refreshing thread because the typical story on here is one where compatibility was never determined but the couple has already been married for 10 years and has 2 kids. *Now* they want to start communicating about sex.


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