# Is it ok?



## Anastasia72 (Jun 9, 2013)

Hi everyone. I have been having an argument with my husband and was just wanting other opinions.

My husband's brother and his wife just had their first baby. We went to see them in hospital and his brother pulled out his iPad. He started showing us photos and then played the actually birth. My kids (teenagers) and I quickly moved because I did not want to see it. But my husband watched it. Now I am angry because I don't think he should have. I think it is personal and they should have just kept it for themselves. Have other people watched their families birth movies?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I've never done that. 

But everyone videos everything today. There are even a lot of child birth videos on YouTube.

I would not want videos of me giving birth to be shown to anyone. Shoot I would not agree to have a video taken of me giving birth.

But I also would not make a big deal out of my husband watching it. It's just biology.


----------



## Anastasia72 (Jun 9, 2013)

Normally I would be ok with my husband watching a birth on you tube but not my sister in law. It's almost "to much information". 

By the way, my mother in law took it without sil's permission. So not sure how she feels about it getting shown to everyone


----------



## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

I don't personally see it as a big issue, so long as the couple concerned are both OK with it. Not that I would wish to watch such a video. Why are you OK with him watching such stuff on You Tube if he wanted to but not this particular video?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Anastasia72 said:


> Normally I would be ok with my husband watching a birth on you tube but not my sister in law. It's almost "to much information".


Yea, I can understand not wanting him to see the SIL's body, etc. But if there is anything that is a sexual turn off it's birthing. So from that point of view, I'd be more upset for the invasion of SIL"s privacy.



Anastasia72 said:


> By the way, my mother in law took it without sil's permission. So not sure how she feels about it getting shown to everyone


Does your SIL know that the video exists? It's a huge breach of trust for your MIL to have taken such a video without your SIL's permission. Talk about overstepping bounds!!!


----------



## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

There is, as far as I know, no such thing a birth porn. If if your SIL is hot, your husband was not exposed to a sexually arousing film. If the clip is being shown without your SIL's permission, then that is not good.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think people are WAY too open about most things these days.The birthing video was one thing I have never understand or been ok with watching.
People will criticize that bc the birth of a child is just soooo beautiful.Yeah,the birth of YOUR OWN child but to watch anyone else give birth is weird to me.

I think your husband probably watched it to be polite and you shouldn't be upset with him.

If anything,everyone should be p*ssed at this MIL for videoing it without SIL knowing.How creepy and RUDE!

Thanking my lucky stars the only people in the room when I gave birth was my mom,the doc,a nurse,the midwife,and the father of my child.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I don't think you should be upset with him because he was probably being polite and watched it.

I, however, think that someone should tell the SIL that there is a video of her birth floating around if she doesn't know that it exists. It violated her privacy.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't really understand waht the problem is here. His bro showed him something and he watched it. Sure, it' snot as pleasant as a Disney movie but it's not like he was watching porn in front of you and your kids. 

I personally wouldn't want to watch the birth but would not get upset over that. That's just me though.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Writer said:


> I don't think you should be upset with him because he was probably being polite and watched it.
> 
> I, however, think that someone should tell the SIL that there is a video of her birth floating around if she doesn't know that it exists. It violated her privacy.


Yep. LOL :iagree:


----------



## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

Writer just about nailed it. 

My sister and her husband wanted to show her birth video to my parents and I after their first child was born. 

I watched it because I felt obligated and they seemed so proud to show it. In my family, I wouldn't have heard the end of it if I didn't. 

It was the most miserable experience of my life. It ranks right up there with watching Faces of Death.


----------



## pierrematoe (Sep 6, 2013)

Writer did nail it perfectly. I would probably watch it to be polite. No big deal in my book


----------



## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Anyone else forced to watch "The Miracle of Life" in middle school health class?


----------



## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

John Lee said:


> Anyone else forced to watch "The Miracle of Life" in middle school health class?


No, but if we had I bet we'd have less knocked up classmates in our graduating class.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

John Lee said:


> Anyone else forced to watch "The Miracle of Life" in middle school health class?


My mother made me watch it at home.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

It would have been nice if he would have asked his wife if it was ok for him to show the video. The poor woman is in labor for how long and no doubt wanting to get it over with and when the time comes, there's the dad with his camcorder making a video and then showing it to family.

It's not a sexy thing but I think the wife has some right to a little dignity. If he want's to video it, then keep the video for him and her. The only thing he should show to the family and friends id the outcome of this. The baby after it's born.


----------



## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Great horror film, featuring a climax that pays homage to Alien.


----------



## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

Ha! We refer to #3 as The Alien in our house. He's the only C-section kid. Add in the drugs given during that operation, and it very much appeared like that.

I'd be beyond mad if I found out that my MIL filmed and distributed my birth video without my knowledge. Does SIL know?

Other than that, my H would bow out and say he was uncomfortable. It is good birth control, though: make all kids watch a birth video. It sent me running for BCP's. (My mother used to be a sex ed instructor for a Protestant religion.)


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Anastasia72 said:


> Hi everyone. I have been having an argument with my husband and was just wanting other opinions.
> 
> My husband's brother and his wife just had their first baby. We went to see them in hospital and his brother pulled out his iPad. He started showing us photos and then played the actually birth. My kids (teenagers) and I quickly moved because I did not want to see it. But my husband watched it. Now I am angry because I don't think he should have. I think it is personal and they should have just kept it for themselves. Have other people watched their families birth movies?


When I was 7 or 8, my mother let me watch the Nova special about child birth where they showed a full birth (head crowning and all) on national television.

Would I show off any of my kids to anyone..heck no. I won't even record that part. My wife hated the actual birthing process and I know her and she doesn't want any "reminder" aside from our actual children LOL. But I know a few people who do show that off. I'd never want to see it, aside from my own wife...but it's not unheard of or really "weird". So yes, I'd have to say your husband isn't "wrong"

PS why is this issue "argument" worthy? Okay so you didn't agree with it, but it's not like your husband went to a strip club. If anything your husband will now see his SIL less sexy, or no change LOL. I'm more curious why this issue is striking such a chord with you where it's lingering inside you this long?


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

elegirl said:


> yea, i can understand not wanting him to see the sil's body, etc. But if there is anything that is a sexual turn off it's birthing. So from that point of view, i'd be more upset for the invasion of sil"s privacy.
> 
> 
> 
> Does your sil know that the video exists? It's a huge breach of trust for your mil to have taken such a video without your sil's permission. Talk about overstepping bounds!!!


totally agree with this!!


----------



## Anastasia72 (Jun 9, 2013)

Thanks for all the replies. 
I have gotten over my anger with my husband thanks to all the replies here. I suppose i did make a big deal over nothing. It still does make me feels uncomfortable when I think of it.
I realised that I was more angry at my mil. She videoed the birth without their permission on her ipad so who knows who she will be showing it to. I think sil will also realise how intrusive mil is (she has been overbearing with me & my children) 
When my husband and bil were watching the video, sil was uncomfortable with how she sounded and kept asking for it to be turned down. I'm sure sil had a discussion with her husband about it after we left.


----------



## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Unless SIL asked her to record it. You don't know what they discussed when you weren't in the room.

I look at it like this, unless I'd be angry with him doing an emergency delivery of my SIL's baby I'm not going to be upset with him seeing the delivery. The miracle of life (as messy as it is) is so not sexual. The vagina ceases to even resemble a vagina when there's a melon shaped alien trying to squeeze its way through.


----------



## HangingOnHope (Oct 26, 2013)

It sounds as though the video was just foisted upon you all, and imo, that was disrespectful. It should have been offered as an option. For one thing, since you did have children there and might have wanted to discuss why such an event would even be documented by video. (explaining to the kids there are different perceptions about that sort of thing..followed by your parental decision on the matter)

I also think your husband might have discussed it with you and checked your comfort level first. While it may be a "beautiful" thing to the new parents, it may not be to others. Further, its not as though one can take a "clinical" view of the video, such as the kind you see on PBS, lol...I mean it is, after all, the genitals of a family member. jmo


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

IMO, it's inappropriate for anyone other than the couple involved to be privy to such intimate and graphic details of a birth. I hope your BIL has your SIL's permission to show this video to others?

I wouldn't be angry with your H for watching the video. It sounds as though it was foisted upon you all, and he probably watched it out of politeness...


----------



## lucky me (Aug 6, 2012)

Yes it's okay


----------



## onestepatatime (Oct 23, 2013)

I wouldn't be mad at hubby for watching it, but I would ask his reasons. Some find it fascinating.


----------



## Anastasia72 (Jun 9, 2013)

I did ask him why he watched it and he said he didn't have a choice the ipad was just shoved in front of him. But it was shoved in front of me too and moved away and said I didn't want to watch it. I think he should have done the same. I just think it is wrong to watch something so personal.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I just can't grasp why so many people feel this compelling need to record and share with other people sometimes even complete strangers, some of the most private , intimate aspects of their lives.

Sometimes I feel these android devices and our smartphones are making us act more stupid.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I just can't grasp why so many people feel this compelling need to record and share with other people sometimes even complete strangers, some of the most private , intimate aspects of their lives.
> 
> Sometimes I feel these android devices and our smartphones are making us act more stupid.


:iagree:

I had a work colleague who recorded every single detail of her pregnancy on FB, then when she was in labour she was posting every minute detail from the labour ward - including photos. To each their own, but for me some things are just private.


----------

