# In laws- so sad



## friscothecat2013 (Dec 21, 2013)

Thank you in advance for reading this…I have a complicated in law relationship. I believe my mother in law has for years treated me weird. She has a pattern of contradicting me alone and in group situations. She generally never asks how I am and shows a general disinterest in me. I thought this is how she deals with many people so it has not bothered me too much over the 15 years that I have been with my husband. In the most recent years a lot of drama has unfolded with her other son, my brother in law, and it has highlighted the favoritism that exists in his direction. In addition, both bil and us have had kids at the same time. Mother in law favors the other kids to a great extent. It is awful since my kids love her so much. About a month ago she had been watching our kids and had committed to watch all three of them while I had to go to class. Well she changed her commitment to us, again, to accommodate the other kids, who were sick and should have stayed at their own home. I had a midterm and a presentation that day, I was nervous and stressed out and desperately in need of my children being cared for while I went to school. –trying to give the readers digest version-so I told her how much it hurt me that she was willing to set us aside for the other kids when I really needed the help. Whether she agreed with how we were hurt the fact that we, my husband and I , were hurt should concern her. During that discussion she even said, out of nowhere, that if I withhold the grand kids from here she will walk away and move on with her life. Just Mean. Instead, after that conversation, she tells my husband that our children are no longer welcome to spend the night at their house, all the other grands are still welcome, and then their grandfather (fil) does not come to our 2 year old’s birthday celebration and mother in law spends less than 10.00 on our 2 yr old…not kidding she spends $180.00 per month on BIL’s daughter per month for dance lessons…I am at a loss of where to go from here. We all used to have cordial relationship but when push came to shove I think true colors were revealed. I can't sleep and my husband pretends there is nothing wrong. Assuming we continue to have relationship…any insights would be great and thank you in advance.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Why do you accept to be treated like this?


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I am sorry to hear things like this. 

You are going to have to cut off contact with her for the sake of your children. It will be sad for them, but they need to understand the facts.

It seems as though your MIL is unstable because such cruelty towards her own grandchildren is not normal. Even if she does not like you, the children should not be her means of venting.

Cut off contact completely. Once she no longer has a victim to aggress, she will most likely change her tune. And if she does not, too bad for her.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Time to get tough with characters like this!!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just ignore her. She's the one losing out. Well, she and her husband, but that's HIS problem, if he can't stand up to her.

I cut my dad and his wife off after a bad situation, and, frankly, my DD23 doesn't even remember him OR care that he wasn't around.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I think her treatment of you and your children is less about you and probably more about favoritism towards her other child. Your husband may not talk about it because he is used to being treated like he means less to her and subsequently you and his children will be treated as less. I just say this because this is the way it is in my husbands family. If/when his sister has kids, we are fully prepared for her to forget our children exist.

Just wanted to add that you'll never be able to change how they feel, but you should protect your children from it. Sometimes no contact is better than being treated like you've done something wrong by existing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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