# Lack of communication has shoved us apart



## cbadger1 (Mar 27, 2014)

My husband and I have been married for 13 years, we are in our mid 50's. Our first few years were great, lots of sex, lots of excitement, normal stuff. However, from the start there wa a lack of communication. Issues would build over time because they were not addressed timely. And then we sort of have been living separate lives together, spending no time with each other or nurturing our relationship. We both ignored this, went on with the day to day, both working so hard, involved with so many responsiblities, We havent had sex for over a year now and the thought of it seems odd to me and probably to him as well. 

Fast foward to tonight, where my husband had told me that he will be moving out. I kinda felt this coming but wasnt sure how to stop it. On top of our relationship problems, the last few years for him have been stressful, loosing a job and struggling to get a business started, in addition to all of the responsibilites of our residence. And I have not really been a whole lot of fun to be around as well. We have both been unhappy and not saying a word to each other. 

He said things tonight that just devastated me, such as not sure why we got married, doesnt really want to make this work, i love you but not in love with you, we have a brother sister relationship. I am positive he is not having an affair. I am not having an affair either. 

We really make a good team, we get along very well. I feel that it will be a mistake to split and feel that I can see where we need to focus to try to get back on track. 

I am wondering what a happy marriage is? Isnt it good that we have a brother sister relationship, but may just need to learn to communicate and bringing some intimacy back into our lives? 

He will not go to counselling, i have tried that in the past. It seems to me that our issues are very typical marital problems, we might be heavy on lack of communication. 

There are so many other factors, just thought it would help expressing my thoughts and see if anyone had any ideas or things i can try to turn things around.


----------



## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

Unfortunately if you google "i love you but not in lone with you" and decline in sex, you will see the likely situation. Not saying it fits your situation, but you must consider. 

Have there been discussions along the way about the divide? Ie have either of you addressed the idea that this marriage was becoming a sibling type? The "something is missing" talk?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

