# Did you reveal to your kids...your savings and salary



## StarTrekFan

My son (8 years old) has been lately asking me lot about, How much money we have in bank and also wants to know our salaries. He is somewhat money minded, always looking to make a dollar or two by doing chores around the house. However he is not mature enough to keep a secret, So I am going to wait few more years before I tell him.

Interestingly, I was 7 years old, when my dad told me how much he made, Growing up money was never hidden from me, I always knew how much we had in the bank. All I had to do was ask. I never told anyone how much my dad made, it was not a lot, Perhaps I was embarrassed. 

So I am curious to know, what age did you folks tell your kids, How much you made, along with revealing other financial information. Did you regret revealing that information or was it the right decision?


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## Almostrecovered

I just tell my kids that we are broke and if they don't behave I'm selling them to the gypsies


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## dormant

My kids are 32 and 37 years old. They still don't know my financials. No need for them to know!


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## Married but Happy

If you tell your son this information, can you depend on him to keep it confidential? Or will he talk about it to people whom you wouldn't want to know your business?

My son never asked, and I never told him details - only generalities and concepts about money, finances, planning/budgeting, and investment.


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## happy as a clam

I have never given my kids "specifics", but since my divorce I feel there are certain things they need to know. My kids are 20 and almost-18.

For instance, my paid-for house, paid-for vehicles, cash, and 401-K are all in a trust in their names. I am the trustee 

Anything happens to me, they know the name of my attorney where my will is filed, they know how to access my safe-deposit box, and they have a reasonable expectation of what will "pass" to them. They also know who my life insurance company is and where to find the policies. They have NO idea of the amounts of money we are talking about.

My biggest fear is my estate getting hung up in probate, robbing them of tens of thousands of dollars.

Other than that, all they hear from me is "Mom is broke. Sorry, can't buy that this month. Blah blah blah"

:lol:


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

I am transparent financially with my kids, with all aspects of money. They are 24, 14 and 10.


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## StarTrekFan

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> I am transparent financially with my kids, with all aspects of money. They are 24, 14 and 10.


Have they been discreet about that info? or Do you think they have shared it with others?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

StarTrekFan said:


> Have they been discreet about that info? or Do you think they have shared it with others?


Why does it matter? And why would I care?
Is there a problem with the value of my time being public?


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## StarTrekFan

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Why does it matter? And why would I care?
> Is there a problem with the value of my time being public?


I guess it does not matter then, Yours is certainly unique attitude


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## StarTrekFan

Married but Happy said:


> If you tell your son this information, can you depend on him to keep it confidential? Or will he talk about it to people whom you wouldn't want to know your business?


I don't think so...He can't stop bragging about money he has in his piggy bank. I... on the other hand kept it confidential.


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## StarTrekFan

Almostrecovered said:


> I just tell my kids that we are broke and if they don't behave I'm selling them to the gypsies


...I used to tell my son, We were broke, Then one day, he calls me at work...insisting that he has to talk to my boss. He said, he was going to ask my boss to give me more money.


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## Almostrecovered

what a precocious little snot, send him off to boot camp


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## Anonymous07

My parents never told me how much they make or how much money they have in their bank accounts(my dad has money all over for the best dividends). I never pushed for the info because it's not my business. 

I don't intend on telling my son that information either. All he gets to know is that he is taken care of and he will know what is in his own bank account.


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## happy as a clam

Anonymous07 said:


> I don't intend on telling my son that information either. *All he gets to know is that he is taken care of* and he will know what is in his own bank account.


This is meaningless if he doesn't know IN WHAT WAY "he is taken care of"...

Folks, I'm all for "financial privacy" from your kids, but at the VERY LEAST... 

> Let them know where a copy of your will is (safe deposit box, on file with attorney, etc.)
> Who your attorney is
> Who your financial broker is and what type/how many investment accounts you own
> Where your bank accounts are located, how many, savings or checking?
> Where deeds, trust documents, etc. are located
> What you OWN (that they may eventually inherit)
> Any accounts receivable or loans that are owed to you
> Any outstanding debts (loans, credit cards)

When my dad died, checks started rolling in from places we didn't even know he was invested! Turns out, he was still partial owner in a house that had belonged to his mother. If not for his cousin (the trustee, who happened to be honest) we may never have realized the almost *$60,000* payout from that property. He could have been a scheister, re-titled the property (his wife is a Notary), and I doubt any of us would have ever known.

My dad received death benefits from the Air Force that we never knew he was entitled to ($15,000). He received burial pay we never knew he was entitled to ($7,500). We received a life insurance payout that no one even knew existed or filed a claim for (the Air Force must have notified them, none of us did.) He knew all of this, but we didn't.

It all makes me wonder HOW MUCH MORE money was out there that we never knew about... :scratchhead: I still check the probate records regularly to see if any of his money was "stolen" by the state, ready to fight for it if I have to.

You don't have to disclose the dollar specifics, but make it EASY on those who you are leaving anything to.

Otherwise, the State gets their greedy hands on it and it all gets lost to probate and estate taxes.


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## norajane

I knew everything about my parents' finances because my parents discussed everything in front of me, or directly with me when they needed my English skills for translation (immigrant family). That's still true today.

Looking back, that was a great education for me, because I understood exactly where money came from, how to save, how to plan and budget, how to have dreams and finance those those dreams, what was wise to spend on and what was a waste. 

They taught me a lot, and I think it's made a huge difference in my approach to money, especially during my early 20's when my peers were spending up a storm and I was socking it away so I could have money for the things that were really important to me.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

My kids have met my/their attorney. 
They understand the attorney is their go-to for financials and other matters. 
They also know that I usually have outstanding invoices, so if anything should happen to me they should make sure my billing is completed. Funny but true.


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## Anonymous07

happy as a clam said:


> This is meaningless if he doesn't know IN WHAT WAY "he is taken care of"...
> 
> Folks, I'm all for "financial privacy" from your kids, but at the VERY LEAST...
> 
> > Let them know where a copy of your will is (safe deposit box, on file with attorney, etc.)
> > Who your attorney is
> > Who your financial broker is and what type/how many investment accounts you own
> > Where your bank accounts are located, how many, savings or checking?
> > Where deeds, trust documents, etc. are located
> > What you OWN (that they may eventually inherit)
> > Any accounts receivable or loans that are owed to you
> > Any outstanding debts (loans, credit cards)


My son is only a year old, so obviously not going to talk to him any time soon, but all of our info(will, accounts, etc.) is in the file cabinet. It's really not hard to find. I just organized it again too, so everything is right in its place. I have files backed up online as well. My son is taken care of. My parents and my son's god-parents know where that information is, so I'm not worried about any of it. 

My son doesn't need to know any of the specifics about how much money we have. That is not his business and it's not 'his' money. My parents never told me about their income or what was in their accounts. It was fine by me and I learned early on that I had to earn my own money. I had to be responsible and budget for what I needed/wanted because my parents would not just give me money. I have a good savings account, always have, and while money is tight right now(temporarily), we don't want for anything. We have everything we need. My son can know about his own account, where he has a couple thousand already from relatives and money we put into it. Other than that, it's not his business.


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## happy as a clam

Anonymous07 said:


> My son doesn't need to know any of the specifics about how much money we have. That is not his business and it's not 'his' money.


Completely agree. *My kids have NO IDEA how much money I have or what my net worth is.* Nor do they know my income or monthly overhead.

But they DO know what I own, who the important financial peeps are in my life, what banks and financial institutions I do business with, who my lawyer is, etc.

That's all I'm sayin'...


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## EnjoliWoman

Hm. When I was a kid I remember asking and the answer was "enough". I remember at age 14 knowing how much they paid for the house back in 1974. That was the extent of what I knew.

Unfortunately that lack of knowledge backfired. I had no concept of money and I wasn't allowed to work because they didn't want it to interfere with my school work. I got an allowance with certain chores expected to be completed and I got extra for mowing. 

Because of my limited knowledge I had no understanding of what certain jobs paid or what it costs to live. I ended up at a technical college so I could hurry up and marry my HS boyfriend because love conquers all, don't you know! (Lesson 1 - get a degree.) And I broke up with him so had a low paying job and moved out with a roommate to join the real world and it was hard. (Lesson 2 - love does not conquer all!) I contemplated joining the military and met my ex. I'm sure part of my decision to move in with him was that he was in law school at the time and it gave me a sense of financial security for the future. He dropped out. (Lesson 3 - rely on yourself; be able to support yourself.)

Divorced and a lot smarter and a good bit better than a lot of people without degrees thanks to hard work and relatively good communication skills (good grammar, speech/diction, etc.), I have spoken about these things with my daughter who IS college bound. I have talked to her about the cost of life - she knows some of the bills, she hears me comment on the cost of car repairs and the increased insurance I'll soon be paying. She knows the ballpark of the mortgage and I recently explained property taxes and escrow because I got the bill, told her what it was and how it was already planned for by paying saving via escrow.

She knows I have life insurance and a will and that all of it goes to my parents because I do not trust my ex to manage the money (he bankrupt us with two foreclosures and grandiose dreams) and I know my parents would manage the money well and help take care of her, pay for college, etc. with it.

I have not divulged my salary. My ex is self employed and gets to write everything off. Every mile he drives is recorded as some business purpose. His phone, his computer and before he moved in with his mother, a portion of his rent for his home office. I have to pay for a computer, a phone, my car and gas, my house, etc. AFTER taxes. It is not comparing apples to apples. I don't trust her to not share that information and I don't trust his tax returns (when he does file them) because I was married when he set up his salary draw at a very minimal amount. His assets can be set up as assets of the company - i.e. his car can be a 'company' car.

So I try to be transparent but she doesn't need to know everything. I found it useful to look at apartment guides and show her how much a decent apartment rents for, tell her what the power bill, gas bill is, how much I spend on food... figure out how much the basics are and then we broke it down to the wage required. But wait! Taxes withheld! Suddenly now you're 25-30% short of paying all of the bills. 

So transparency is good when it makes sense and if you aren't comfortable with telling him everything, talk about the things you CAN quantify, discuss compound interest, tax shelters, IRAs/401(k)s, etc. and the cost of living as well as look at want ads for jobs he might be interested in and the salaries listed. Discuss what type of lifestyle that career might afford. 

You might want to also discuss limiting factors. Disabilities, the generosity of charitable contributions because everyone doesn't have the same opportunities; catastrophic events that change lives. Work that is meaningful, not just profitable. Respect for hard work, not financial success. It's a good chance to discuss work schedules, the value of free time, etc. Rent the movie social networking so he can see how Steve Jobs succeeded. Rent "smile" so he can see the stories about the doctors beyond borders. 

Teaching our children about money goes far beyond what our salaries and bills are. It's an opportunity to teach them about the good money can do, the bad things people are driven to do FOR money, the wonderful things people do who make very little, the value system that drives all of those choices and the impact some decisions have that limit our choices as well.


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## Holland

My kids have no clue how wealthy I am, therefore how wealthy they are. They don't ask much about financial stuff and we don't lead an extravagant lifestyle. Everything we buy is researched and we don't waste money on "stuff". I teach them to buy the very best we can afford and not replace stuff every year for the sake of it.

They know that their schooling is very expensive at between $25 and $30k per year each, that info is readily available.

They know I have no debt, hold a few investment properties with their dad, no mortgage as we own our home outright, no car loan on a very expensive luxury car.
I am sure they can figure it all out, know we are wealthy and not really care enough for it to change who they are at the core.


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## Rayloveshiswife

My daughter was about ten when she found one of my pay statements and announced that we were rich to the world. Not really. But it seemed like a lot to her. On the advise of a friend I had her sit down with me and do the bi-weekly bills with me. She did it all. Figured the money we had earned and what bills needed to be paid and even helped me write checks. It didn't take her long to see that much of what we took in was going right back out. Changed her entire outlook on the money the family had to spend and how we decide to spend it. Best thing I ever did. 

Ray
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2

all your privacy will be for naught as soon as one of the kids goes to college and your start filling out a FAFSA together.


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## Miss Taken

I've done my own version of this talk so far with my kid, a few times.

A Lesson in Finances from The Cosby Show on Vimeo

Except the money was real and it was _my _money. 

When he (and my youngest) are older, I do plan on divulging the exact numbers of income and savings with them. 

When I was 18 I got my first credit card and maxed out my limit on really dumb purchases and cash advances. 

With nobody but myself to bail me out of that (preventable) mess, it took me a couple of years to pay it off. In the end, I learned a very hard lesson about money management. 

Actually, I still have an (out of style and full of holes now) jean jacket (purchased with that card) in my closet as a reminder. I don't think I'll ever throw it out. 

After all, it is the most expensive, $50.00 jacket I have ever owned. 

I hope to prevent my kids from making similar mistakes so when those credit card offers do start coming in eight years for them, they don't make the same mistake I did. If that takes a lot of transparency on my part, as they grow up so be it.


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## Justus3

:lol::lol:


Almostrecovered said:


> what a precocious little snot, send him off to boot camp


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## Ch1ckenRice

My son's not old enough yet, but I'd be happy if he was one day curious of our finances. It's a great opportunity to teach him the value of money. I hope my children can be naturally money-minded too. Believe me, I've seen worse things happen to people who don't think about where their money is going, or even how much money they'll have in the future. 

However, I wouldn't just reveal my savings and salary. It has to be taken into context. I'll let him know all our major expenses as well. He should be able to see that even though I'm earning alot, most of it goes into daily expenses. So I'll show him what's left after deductions. Then I'll show him how much I save from the balance every month, which is presently 10% of my salary. 

I'll then challenge him to start saving part of his allowance too, and I'll pay him 10% compound interest at the end of every month. 

I guess the overall objective is to turn your kid from "money-minded" into "money-wise".


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