# Your 1st time with the ow/om



## str8insane (Jan 30, 2012)

When you 1st slept with the ow/om
did you ever once compare them in your mind to your mate back home.

I read from different sites that when a person cheats on their mate they have this vision in their mind how the sex would be but in reality the sex wasn't that great with the ow or om..

Me personally i know every inch of my hubbys body.
I can't even bring myself to even think of being with another man.
If i ever had an affair i would be afraid if it wasnt what i thought i would speak my mind.

I remember when i 1st slept with my hubby how i wasnt pleased at all.he was so green,plain..but in the back of my mind i was comparing him to my ex and thinking''wow ***** does it this way & yadda yadda..

So i was just wondering if others have felt or thought this as well..
Becuz when your with someone for a long time you mold yourself to them.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

When we were able to be in a place to actually have intercourse, I couldn't get it up.

I think that there was a part of me that knew it was wrong.


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## str8insane (Jan 30, 2012)

Dan thank you..your awesome.
I admire honesty..the 1st ow my hubby cheated with told me exactly the same issue he had with her..i thought she was lying to me so i wouldnt be hurt.
I never had that issue at all with him.so when she told me that i really thought she was crazy.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Your profile pic is freaking me out


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Honestly, I had absolutely no problems performing with my AP. And the sex was very good.

I never did have sex with my wife after that, though.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## str8insane (Jan 30, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> your profile pic is freaking me out


warlock---are you saying im ugly..if so maybe thats why my hubby cheated then..idk..
Would you like me to change it..


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You look fine don't change it.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

The picture is very beautiful.


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## str8insane (Jan 30, 2012)

Thank you friends so much..its nice to read positive words.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Foot in mouth moment. I'm sorry if I hurt you. My intention was only a little humor on the side.


That white forehead(is it a band?) made me think you are wearing a costume. It was meant to be funny . I'm feeling like an idiot now. Sorry


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## str8insane (Jan 30, 2012)

Lol i feel ya..no it was the sun shining on me from the window..thank you warlock..


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## lostintheworld1 (Aug 7, 2011)

I also was unable to get hard initially. I should have run screaming from the OW then. My heart was telling me it was so wrong and I didn't listen. I don't know to this day why... My life is filled every minute with regret. I am sick thinking about hurting my wife that way. I was so stupid and insensitive.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I know most people want to read how awful it was but it wasn't. And I attribute that because it was an EA too. Afterwards I felt horrible because I knew what I had done. In the moment though, it was nice. Still, one of my single biggest regrets in life.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

My time with the OW was amazing. They never complained of getting sore midway. They liked that I took control and put them in varius positions, never complained that those positions hurt, they were very in tune with their bodies, they liked how long I took to O and was focused on getting them there before myself. All of these things, especially after the first time, made me want to pursue others to see if it was me as my wife would say. She would say the way I had sex was not the norm, but when I saw how several other women responded to it, I realized I was not the problem. So then I stopped. The verdict was reached. However, it was funny. When my wife cheated, before we got married, she slept with an ex, with whom she said the sex was bad with, and he was inadequate, however, carried on the affair for a year. Explain that, she hasn't not been able to to this day.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> When my wife cheated, before we got married, she slept with an ex, with whom she said the sex was bad with, and he was inadequate, however, carried on the affair for a year.


The sex wasn't bad if she had an affair for a year. Just saying. She was just telling you that.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> The sex wasn't bad if she had an affair for a year. Just saying. She was just telling you that.


I mean, obviously, lol. But that's why I am not too remorseful for what i've done. I don't want you to lie to me to spare my feelings, because that means there may be more you're lying about. It feels like you think I'm an idiot, which I am not. So, I just do what I want.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Foot in mouth moment. I'm sorry if I hurt you. My intention was only a little humor on the side.
> 
> 
> That white forehead(is it a band?) made me think you are wearing a costume. It was meant to be funny . I'm feeling like an idiot now. Sorry



I literally busted out laughing when I read this. But I did say what a **** too. Funny none the less. I got it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> I mean, obviously, lol. But that's why I am not too remorseful for what i've done. I don't want you to lie to me to spare my feelings, because that means there may be more you're lying about. It feels like you think I'm an idiot, which I am not. So, I just do what I want.


Are you still married?


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

yeah, I am. When I said do what I want, I don't mean run around. Just don't really get all caught up in the emotional stuff. Honestly, don't even have sex that often anymore, between the methods and the feelings for what we both did, makes it feel like a chore. So, we just do things for our daughter and do things for a comfortable living situation and be respectful to each other. 
I know she has started to come around now, but I just don't want to be that guy anymore. If she wants to leave, she can, but I'm not forcing the issue. I'm comfortable. Might be selfish, but when I look at all the circumstances around her affair, to this day, thinking about it makes me upset.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I'm sure she feels the same way about you and your affairs. 

Back to the thread topic: I wonder if it's commonplace for a man not to be able to perform if he's having an affair /sex for the first time with an OW? Idk.


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I'm sure she feels the same way about you and your affairs.
> 
> Back to the thread topic: I wonder if it's commonplace for a man not to be able to perform if he's having an affair /sex for the first time with an OW? Idk.


I'm sure she does, but mine were as a result of hers and the complaints after. still not acceptable, but that was the road I chose unfortunately. I honestly thought with marriage and time, it would pass, however, didn't think to get help about it at 23. 

And on topic: I don't think its commonplace at all. I think it's rare that they can't. Because that's the idea behind it, to get sex. Maybe the ones that it happens to aren't cheating for solely sexual reasons, maybe they are needing something else. But if its just for the physical act, most would rise to the occasion I believe.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mikeydread1982 said:


> . But if its just for the physical act, *most would rise to the occasion *I believe.


No pun intended right LOL


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Your profile pic is freaking me out





str8insane said:


> warlock---are you saying im ugly..if so maybe thats why my hubby cheated then..idk..
> Would you like me to change it..


 

He was kidding. It looks fine


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No pun intended right LOL



Good catch, lol:smthumbup:


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