# Wives in sexless marriage?



## 347233 (Nov 25, 2020)

Me!!! Live with 0 sex for 6.5 years. It is so painful. 



Mary L said:


> I have so many issues in my marriage, but I think this is the largest one.
> My husband has never had a huge sex drive. Even in his 20's, once or twice a week was fine.
> I had a full time job plus home schooled our kids. I did everything with the home and with the kids. You name it, I did it.
> He does work full time also, but felt I was overly "picky" about the home and kids, so refused to enter my standards.
> ...


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Itiyou34 said:


> Me!!! Live with 0 sex for 6.5 years. It is so painful.


You can stop the pan by divorcing your husband and getting sex elsewhere. Or just by getting sex elsewhere. The only person holding you back is you.


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## 347233 (Nov 25, 2020)

I wish I could but we have kids. While I am typing I am so lonely and my heart is really hurt. 



Personal said:


> You can stop the pan by divorcing your husband and getting sex elsewhere. Or just by getting sex elsewhere. The only person holding you back is you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FizzBomb said:


> It’s not sexless but I could do with a whole lot more sex than I’m getting.
> I’m more touchy, tactile, affectionate and he’s not any of those things.
> I’d like to have more sex. He’s lower drive. Maybe just low drive. He’s on T cream. Has been for about 10 years now.
> He’s never had a decent sex drive.
> ...


T cream is crap. He probably needs injections.


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## dc366 (May 25, 2011)

Mary L said:


> It's as if he just won't put effort into it, and when I get hurt and cant take the distance anymore, we fight. I make him feel as if he can't ever do enough for me.


Well there is a reason you are still with him. You obviously love him for things other than sex. One option for you is to leave him and find someone else who gives you what you want. Your other option is to stay and have sex with others

When I was in my mid 20s, I had sex with several married women in their early 40s. They told me they were married, they also told me they didn't have any sex with their husbands and the reason they were with their husbands was because they have to raise their kids. So both of us didn't have any expectation of our sexual relation to transition into a full blown relationship. These women got sexually gratified so did I. Perhaps this is your best alternative for you if you want sexual gratification. Sign up for a dating site. Go out have sex once a week. If you ever get caught by your husband, you can easily get out of trouble because you can explain its only sex and nothing else. Don't wait till you are 60 to realize you missed out on so many opportunities. Before you seek sex from anyone including your own husband take steps to make yourself an attractive sexy female. Get in shape. Change your hair. Change your style. You will definitely see a change.


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## dc366 (May 25, 2011)

Mary L said:


> I have tried to talk to him. I have tried to explain to him how this makes me feel. I know he struggles with ED. I have told him that we can just "play around", zero expectations. I just want to be close to him. Feel him touch me. (sorry, is this too personal?) I'm new here, so I don't know how graphic you all get.


If he has ED, you can forget him trying to have sex with you. His penis not working is probably a huge embarrassment for him. You making an effort to get it to work or to play with it will be a further reminder to him about his shortcomings perhaps even humiliating for him. Make him watch porn with you. See if he gets a hard on and then go from there. Ask him if it will help if you both were in a threesome. Think outside the box


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## 347233 (Nov 25, 2020)

I have 0 sex for nearly 7 years and I just started to imagine having sex with other guys, but it hurts me so bad when I think about my husband. I asked him about divorce but both of us worried about our kiddos' hearts will be crushed. 

To me, if I am still married or divorce I can't just have sex with anyone even they are so hot! Sex to me must involve feelings, emotionally, and of course LOVE!

So I guess, I will have to stay in the marriage for a while. 




dc366 said:


> Well, there is a reason you are still with him. You love him for things other than sex. One option for you is to leave him and find someone else who gives you what you want.
> 
> When I was in my mid 20s, I had sex with several married women in their early 40s. They told me they were married, they also told me they didn't have any sex with their husbands and the reason they were with their husbands was because they have to raise their kids. So both of us didn't have any expectation of our sexual relation to transition into a full blown relationship. These women got sexually gratified so did I. Perhaps this is your best alternative for you if you want sexual gratification. Sign up for a dating site. Go out have sex once a week. If you ever get caught by your husband, you can easily get out of trouble because you can explain its only sex and nothing else. Don't wait till you are 60 to realize you missed out on so many opportunities. Before you seek sex from anyone including your own husband take steps to make yourself an attractive sexy female. Get in shape. Change your hair. Change your style. You will definitely see a change.


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## dc366 (May 25, 2011)

Itiyou34 said:


> I have 0 sex for nearly 7 years and I just started to imagine having sex with other guys, but it hurts me so bad when I think about my husband. I asked him about divorce but both of us worried about our kiddos' hearts will be crushed.
> 
> To me, if I am still married or divorce I can't just have sex with anyone even they are so hot! Sex to me must involve feelings, emotionally, and of course LOVE!
> 
> So I guess, I will have to stay in the marriage for a while.


Go to Vegas. Go to a male burlesque show with the girls. Then ask your husband if its ok to hook up with a male escort. I think he will be more inclined to say yes. Perhaps you even asking to be with a male escort would make him want to bang you. Give it a shot. Don't drown yourself with being disappointed for not fulfilling yourself in the way you want to be fulfilled. Don't apologize for your biological needs. He is human too and he will understand and be cool about it.


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## 347233 (Nov 25, 2020)

He mad at me I asked him about an open marriage. If male escort he will be really sad if I want sex from them. But I will try someday when no covid19. I want to go to Vagas for vacay myself. 



dc366 said:


> Go to Vegas. Go to a male burlesque show with the girls. Then ask your husband if it's ok to hook up with a male escort. I think he will be more inclined to say yes. Perhaps you even asking to be with a male escort would make him want to bang you. Give it a shot. Don't drown yourself with being disappointed for not fulfilling yourself in the way you want to be fulfilled. Don't apologize for your biological needs. He is human too and he will understand and be cool about it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Itiyou34,

I moved your discussion to a thread of your own. This should get you better input.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

dc366 said:


> Go to Vegas. Go to a male burlesque show with the girls. Then ask your husband if its ok to hook up with a male escort. I think he will be more inclined to say yes. Perhaps you even asking to be with a male escort would make him want to bang you. Give it a shot. Don't drown yourself with being disappointed for not fulfilling yourself in the way you want to be fulfilled. Don't apologize for your biological needs. He is human too and he will understand and be cool about it.


You missed the part where she already explained that that isn’t the kind of sex/love she is interested in.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

OP, don't let the fact you have kids hold you back from perhaps going ahead and separating. 

Staying together will only build resentments until the M explodes anyway. 

I hope in the whole picture you two can resolve without, to YOUR satisfaction.


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## Advseeker (Dec 16, 2020)

Itiyou34 said:


> Me!!! Live with 0 sex for 6.5 years. It is so painful.


Sorry to hear that people go thru this. Life is too short to be unhappy.


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