# **** & Ball Bondage Problems



## 60313 (Feb 17, 2018)

My husband is open to this type of bondage with the correct rope type. If you have participated in this type of bondage before did you have any issues afterwards? We definitely don't want to cause problems. If you have, what problems occured and how did you fix them? Was this type bondage all you thought it would be? Another word; is it worth it?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Probably best to read up on BDSM sites on safety where there will be people with a lot more experience.

Be careful about anything that could cut off blood flow, and only do it for a short time. It is a not uncommon kink and done mildly most people don't have problems. 

If you are both into that sort of game, probably the safest is actually electro-shock toys - as much pain as you want with minimal damage.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Generally speaking the folks here are experts on dealing with problems related to a sexless marriage with poor communication. Because your situation and concerns involve being in a sexually active marriage, most feedback here will be problematic or just based on a guess. 

Also the moderators here generally frown upon querying people for their fantasies. While you are asking for help, the way you asked the question could be seen as someone nefariously looking to discuss a stimulating topic with like minded people. That would be frowned upon... 

But if your husband thinks he wants to try bondage, and that freaks you out and scares you to the point you need help with an excuses to not do it. Perhaps you have come to the right place. Just elaborate enough so that people can understand your story on this thread. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

uhtred said:


> Probably best to read up on BDSM sites on safety where there will be people with a lot more experience.
> 
> Be careful about anything that could cut off blood flow, and only do it for a short time. It is a not uncommon kink and done mildly most people don't have problems.
> 
> If you are both into that sort of game, probably *the safest is actually electro-shock toys* - as much pain as you want with minimal damage.


I have a good friend with a great deal of BDSM experience. Like a lot. He speaks at conventions and the like and teaches ropes and other courses. He will not teach with electricity toys because he does not want to be party to a mess up. This is not great advice. In any event, I don't know where you live, but around here there are things like ropes courses and discussion groups for this type of learning. Believe it or not, you will find events like these on ... crap... I am having a brain cramp. Fetlife! That's it. I could not remember the name.

ETA: He did a private demo on me for someone with his violet wand once. He is the ONLY person I would trust with that. He has to teach DH before DH endeavors that on me.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think the warnings about electricity were very appropriate some years ago, but the situation has changed. electrical bdsm toys have become quite common and quite safe. They are now available from many mainstream sex shops. Homemade toys of course would be extremely dangerous, but the commercial ones from reputable manufacturers are pretty safe. Also since the OP was talking about below-the-waist play, its even safer. 

Ropes actually concern me more because of the risk of damage from cutting off circulation. 

In any case, reading or taking classes is a really good idea. 

Also BDSM porn is a VERY bad place to learn these things. 





NobodySpecial said:


> I have a good friend with a great deal of BDSM experience. Like a lot. He speaks at conventions and the like and teaches ropes and other courses. He will not teach with electricity toys because he does not want to be party to a mess up. This is not great advice. In any event, I don't know where you live, but around here there are things like ropes courses and discussion groups for this type of learning. Believe it or not, you will find events like these on ... crap... I am having a brain cramp. Fetlife! That's it. I could not remember the name.
> 
> ETA: He did a private demo on me for someone with his violet wand once. He is the ONLY person I would trust with that. He has to teach DH before DH endeavors that on me.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

uhtred said:


> I think the warnings about electricity were very appropriate some years ago, but the situation has changed. electrical bdsm toys have become quite common and quite safe.
> They are now available from many mainstream sex shops.


I have no knowledge of what might have been available in the past. I maintain that the availability of an item in a shop does not render it devoid of risk. To think that something like a velvet wand, which is available in many sex shops, is the go-to for risk free BDSM is incorrect. Nothing, not even a rope, purchased at a store is license to not get _an education_ on its use. Promoting electronic toys as completely safe is ... well... wrong.


> Homemade toys of course would be extremely dangerous, but the commercial ones from reputable manufacturers are pretty safe. Also since the OP was talking about below-the-waist play, its even safer.
> 
> Ropes actually concern me more because of the risk of damage from cutting off circulation.
> 
> ...


Ropes have many risks not limited to cutting off circulation. I agree that porn is a very bad learning ground (for anything). That is why I suggested educational events.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I wasn't thinking of violet wands which are a quite old device. I don't know their risks and wouldn't recommend them. I was thinking of tens related units which are safe below the waist.

Mostly I'm suggesting that they are safer that ropes and circulation cut-off which I think is quite dangerous. All BDSM activities have some risk, potentially lots of risk of people don't know what they are doing. That said, for mild play the risks are not all that high. 





NobodySpecial said:


> I have no knowledge of what might have been available in the past. I maintain that the availability of an item in a shop does not render it devoid of risk. To think that something like a velvet wand, which is available in many sex shops, is the go-to for risk free BDSM is incorrect. Nothing, not even a rope, purchased at a store is license to not get _an education_ on its use. Promoting electronic toys as completely safe is ... well... wrong.
> 
> 
> Ropes have many risks not limited to cutting off circulation. I agree that porn is a very bad learning ground (for anything). That is why I suggested educational events.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

uhtred said:


> I wasn't thinking of violet wands which are a quite old device. I don't know their risks and wouldn't recommend them. I was thinking of tens related units which are safe below the waist.


Well, violet wands have been update as any device does. If you meant something specific and attempt to advise that it is safe for the uneducated, then I would think you would be more detailed in your advice. 



> Mostly I'm suggesting that they are safer that ropes and circulation cut-off which I think is quite dangerous.


They are not. I don't know what experience you have or why you choose to focus on circulation. 

All BDSM activities have some risk, potentially lots of risk of people don't know what they are doing. That said, for mild play the risks are not all that high.[/QUOTE]

I think one should get advice that is specific to "mild play" with details of what that is from people who have some experience. Your general advice is NOT safe. OP, I am not saying this to be a big ol' meanie to uhted. Like the guy. But on this one, I still think your best bet is real education of the sort you cannot get on an internet board not focused to same.


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## Oldmatelot (Mar 28, 2011)

Go join fetlife.com 

Lots of helpful advice and people.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Oldmatelot said:


> Go join fetlife.com
> 
> Lots of helpful advice and people.
> 
> ...


Agreed.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Used leather straps with snaps designed to do the same thing rope does. Try a chastity cage on his penis. We are too old for CBT now but we had a lot of toys. Never into rope though. They also have plastic tape that sticks got itself and easy to remove. You want to avoid rope burns and cutting off circulation.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Another thing. If you are into light play and don't want fetlife, most stores will tell you about product usage and safety. The scariest of all is DIY stuff since it is really easy to not know what you don't know. One thing that my husband and friend always do when using rope is having safety scissors right there, scissors with a blunted point but are sharp enough to get someone out of their bonds very quickly.


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