# Where do you keep your sex toys?



## DragonPoet (Feb 22, 2011)

OK, so my wife's and mine collections has... shall we say grown? I was wondering where most people keep them. We have one of those see-through boxes with white lids and that use to be ok, because you wouldn't have been able to see them because of the small amount, but now that we have more you can definitely see them. Where do you keep your sex toys? Anyone have any suggestions for us? We are looking for something that can easily be cleaned up and that can lock and that isn't see-through!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I only have one sex toy...he wanders around out in the open all day.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

In a wetbag. It doesn't lock, but it has all of the other features you describe. 

I imagine that you could find some way to lock it. Perhaps having a piece of fabric looped through the zipper hole and putting a simple lock through the zipper loop and the loop meant for hanging. 

I'm sure someone else will have a less complicated suggestion. LOL


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

On the front lawn inside a glass case with spot lighting.
Kidding, a shoe box in our closet.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Are those knitting needles and a pressure gauge?!?!


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

A nice wooden chest... make it match the rest of the room  Make sure they remain easy to get to though


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Are those knitting needles and a pressure gauge?!?!


:rofl: :rofl:

Kinky!!!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> :rofl: :rofl:
> 
> Kinky!!!


Seriously, that's what it looks like! WTH are those?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

We have an ammo can on his side of the bed. It doesn't lock, but it is hard as he** for a kid to open, and is not see through. When we were getting it, I was the one to go get it and I said "What size should I get?" (we didn't have too much at the time) and his response was "The biggest one they have." I almost died, although whether from laughter or pleasure, I'm still not sure.


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

A cigar box in the bottom drawer of my nightstand.

I also have an old ammo case that I am considering repurposing...and a lock can go on it. *wicked grin*


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Spread around the room. No kids yet so can put em anywhere 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

In a closet drawer. No kids.

If we have a dogsitter, we hide them.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

*Re: Pandora's Chest*



married&lovingit said:


> Pandora's Chest
> 
> Pictured previously is not mine, but similar to the one I'm currently building from free plans available at link above.
> 
> ...


Damn, need to get me one of those. Only problem I would have would be the cushion. Not too good with thread and needles.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Ever cross your mind what people would find while going through your bedroom if you and your SO met with an unfortunate accident?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Ever cross your mind what people would find while going through your bedroom if you and your SO met with an unfortunate accident?


Oh boy! That's why I need one of those buddies that comes in and removes anything that would incriminate me. Then they call the cops.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Oh boy! That's why I need one of those buddies that comes in and removes anything that would incriminate me. Then they call the cops.


BTW Peaches - what are "French Tips"???


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> BTW Peaches - what are "French Tips"???


French manicure but with acrylic nails rather than your own. You know....porn star nails! Don't act coy.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Ever cross your mind what people would find while going through your bedroom if you and your SO met with an unfortunate accident?


Well, if you are referring to me. It's not like they are in the open. Just in different drawers, shoeboxes, closets etc.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Draguna said:


> Well, if you are referring to me. It's not like they are in the open. Just in different drawers, shoeboxes, closets etc.


Right - but if you were in a car crash with your SO - SOMEONE'S gotta go through and clean stuff out!

Of course, dead people don't get embarrassed.

But what if you were just in a short Coma and someone (Mother, daughter, neighbor, pastor!) went to get you some underwear, socks, t-shirts?

Or thinking about that trojan toy bench thing. What if it passes one whole generation - your grandchildren discover - long after your death - how big of a pervert you were!

Just sayin...

Peaches - thought the tips had something to do with the high heels...gotcha now!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Draguna said:


> Well, if you are referring to me. It's not like they are in the open. Just in different drawers, shoeboxes, closets etc.


He's referring to if you both passed away and say your mother or sister had to find all that stuff or computer files.  

Heck, that would be an awesome business idea!  I can see what the van looks like as we speak.

A-Team all the way!


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

We purchased one of those see-through bins that you can slide under a bed that has a lid (extra large). Lined it with soft material (most of our toys cannot be laid on top of one another) and it is kept in my husband's man cave, we have a lot of ummm...sexual enhancements.

No kids at home - so no problem.

Though when we do have company, I put it in another room they won't use.

If my husband and I die before my Mom, she will have an absolute heart attack going through our house. Between our toys, outfits and all the porn DVDs and porn on the computer - let's just say I'll be glad I'm dead!


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## Sad_in_NY (Jun 23, 2010)

MWIL - I love the thought of having "a lot" of toys! 

All of ours still fit into a shoebox and that goes into a nightstand drawer on my side of the bed. I think it is on my side so that if any one should find them that they would only think that I am the pervert, not my wife! LOL or at least that's how my wife's mind works.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Brennan said:


> He's referring to if you both passed away and say your mother or sister had to find all that stuff or computer files.
> 
> Heck, that would be an awesome business idea!  I can see what the van looks like as we speak.
> 
> A-Team all the way!


You know, completely misunderstood. I always remeber my mom saying: "Keep the house clean and always have clean underwear. You never know when something might happen and the ambulance will have to pick you up at home and then they have to perform surgery."

So all I thought was, you get in an accident and paramedics come. No problem. All are hidden. But damn, if my mom ever had to clean our room to get my stuff... ieegh....

Anyone got a business plan? I'll be first to sign up.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Sad_in_NY said:


> MWIL - I love the thought of having "a lot" of toys!
> 
> All of ours still fit into a shoebox and that goes into a nightstand drawer on my side of the bed. I think it is on my side so that if any one should find them that they would only think that I am the pervert, not my wife! LOL or at least that's how my wife's mind works.


Very good idea! I will write hubbies name on top of our shoebox so if anything happens they will think it's his. Ha ha.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Draguna said:


> You know, completely misunderstood. I always remeber my mom saying: "Keep the house clean and always have clean underwear. You never know when something might happen and the ambulance will have to pick you up at home and then they have to perform surgery."
> 
> So all I thought was, you get in an accident and paramedics come. No problem. All are hidden. But damn, if my mom ever had to clean our room to get my stuff... ieegh....
> 
> Anyone got a business plan? I'll be first to sign up.


Well I am excellent at finding things and hubby is a computer expert so he could delete all incriminating information from the computer while I am rifting through the house. We would ride around in the A-Team van charging people extraordinary amounts of money (paid up front on course) so that Mom doesn't have to go to her grave knowing her dear departed son had a collection of fetish movies and more silicone than Hollywood.


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## DragonPoet (Feb 22, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Right - but if you were in a car crash with your SO - SOMEONE'S gotta go through and clean stuff out!
> 
> Of course, dead people don't get embarrassed.
> 
> ...


That's probably what I am subconsciously looking for a lock! Lol, then again, my wife and I aren't the kind of people to hide our sex life from anyone but our kids! :whip: :biggrinangelA: Well, at least until they get old enough to know that mommy and daddy need their time... but then we still aren't going to leave our toys out in the open. Lol.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

We don't have any toys. Mostly because of no where to hide them. We had some old condoms in our nightstand and our 2 year old found them and wandered out asking for "fruit snacks" lol. Kids! But this thread is funny.


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## DragonPoet (Feb 22, 2011)

LonelyNLost said:


> We don't have any toys. Mostly because of no where to hide them. We had some old condoms in our nightstand and our 2 year old found them and wandered out asking for "fruit snacks" lol. Kids! But this thread is funny.


Yeah, that's why I stared this thread. We have a 3 year old and she's getting to the point to where we can no longer use the "hey, what's that over there" when she would stumble upon them. And I never expected the replies to be like this. Lol.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

DragonPoet said:


> Yeah, that's why I stared this thread. We have a 3 year old and she's getting to the point to where we can no longer use the *"hey, what's that over there"* when she would stumble upon them. And I never expected the replies to be like this. Lol.


:rofl:

SQUIRREL!!!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

We don't have much. Wife has one drawer with some things hidden under some bras and such - and we've got a small bag of things and a few DVDs with no labels in the top of our closet.

So far our girls (8 and 11) have respected that they are NOT to go digging around or snooping through ANYTHING in our room.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> :rofl:
> 
> SQUIRREL!!!


Ha ha! 

One time when my youngest son was 5 he managed to find a certain "device" of mine if you will. He said "Mommy, what's this?" The only thing I could think of was the line in the Steve Martin movie Parenthood where the wife says it is an electric ear cleaner. So I blurted that out. He looks at it and then proceeds to stuff it in his ear. Me? HORRIFIED. From that point on it was taken out of the nightstand and put in a shoebox that is on the highest shelf in our closet. Gawd, I knew where that device had been and Ivory soap and Mr. Bubble couldn't get him clean enough that day.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Ha ha!
> 
> One time when my youngest son was 5 he managed to find a certain "device" of mine if you will. He said "Mommy, what's this?" The only thing I could think of was the line in the Steve Martin movie Parenthood where the wife says it is an electric ear cleaner. So I blurted that out. He looks at it and then proceeds to stuff it in his ear. Me? HORRIFIED. From that point on it was taken out of the nightstand and put in a shoebox that is on the highest shelf in our closet. Gawd, I knew where that device had been and Ivory soap and Mr. Bubble couldn't get him clean enough that day.


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:



> HORRIFIED


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Seriously! I was in total shock and couldn't show it our he would then think it ISN'T an electric ear cleaner. I shuffle him off the the bathtub as he is protesting saying he just took a bath an hour earlier. After the full scrub down I called my husband and told him and all I heard through the phone was him dying and choking of laughter. Lordy.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Seriously! I was in total shock and couldn't show it our he would then think it ISN'T an electric ear cleaner. I shuffle him off the the bathtub as he is protesting saying he just took a bath an hour earlier. After the full scrub down I called my husband and told him and all I heard through the phone was him dying and choking of laughter. Lordy.


I thought you were kidding about the soap!!!!

There isn't a smiley option that's laughing hard enough for this one!!!

And he's also thinking - as you're washing his ears with soap for the fifth time - "But Mom - I just JUST USING the EAR CLEANER!!!"


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> I thought you were kidding about the soap!!!!
> 
> There isn't a smiley option that's laughing hard enough for this one!!!
> 
> And he's also thinking - as you're washing his ears with soap for the fifth time - "But Mom - I just JUST USING the EAR CLEANER!!!"


He was hollering when I was focusing on his ear "Mommy, I just cleaned it out with the ear cleaner!!!!". Christ on a cracker that was a traumatic experience for me and funny as all get out now that he isn't deaf. 

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Brennan said:


> He was hollering when I was focusing on his ear "Mommy, I just cleaned it out with the ear cleaner!!!!". Christ on a cracker that was a traumatic experience for me and funny as all get out now that he isn't deaf.
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl:


Speechless... :rofl:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Speechless... :rofl:


Yeah, well, we are pretty sexually open in the Peaches/Martha I mean Goliath household but damn, that one was pretty bad. 
Same son, now 13 and I were with my friend driving to a store and son has his earbuds in and listening to tunes in the backseat. Friend says that she is concerned that her son heard them having sex and is mortified. I assure her all is well as very few kids actually "hear" their parents having sex. Backseat son promptly takes earbuds out and shocks us with this nugget: "I hear Mom and Dad all the time. It's gross. Sometimes I have to listen to my I-pod just to go back to sleep". My friend nearly ran her SUV off the road laughing so hard and I turned the color of clear.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

I say you can you just about anything...... non see through bag, any kind of box will do.
You could go buy a security box with key or combo lock.....
Or if you happen to be a hunter and have a gun safe I think that is a great place.
You could improvise and slap a hasp and lock on any drawer in the house but it might draw attention to nosy eye balls...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The car is in the garage, of course.


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## QuietCoolGeek (Feb 28, 2011)

Our collection outgrew the nightstand, and the kids got older so I shifted to a toolbox. Got it at lowe's, cost about $25, but has a pull-out shelf for smaller accessories, is NOT see-through, and (most importantly) has a place to lock the latches. Kids and babysitters will not be getting into this thing without bolt cutters. 

Only downside really is that a toolbox doesn't really "belong" in the bedroom so visitors would notice immediately, so we have to keep in the next room. Also it's impossible to be "subtle" about getting a toy. Can't quietly reach over and grab something; either need to plan ahead or interrupt the mood long enough to go to the next room, unlock, get the toy, and lock behind.


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