# I have seen the light



## yellowsubmarine

For several years now I thought I was going crazy. Mostly having to do with communication with my husband. He would deflect conversation topics of consequence, wouldn't say what he was thinking... I considered myself a pretty smart person until I saw a counselor. One book he suggested reading is called "Not just friends."

I'm sorry to say that my husband displayed all the classic signs of a mid-life crisis coupled with affairs. To this day, he will deny it and say that my accusations are unfounded. 

All the signs were there and I just didn't see them. 

He "typed" that he wanted a divorce, but hasn't done anything about it. He won't talk to me, claims that his phone doesn't work, but yet finds time to talk to his mother.

I knew something was wrong/off; he turned around the conversations and make it look like it was my problem and I was imagining things. He is/was an excellent emotional manipulator. For one I feel like an idiot for not seeing what was going on, but on the other hand... better late than never.

To think that I loved him and did my best to ensure that we would have a great future together. I sincerely hope that those that he found comfort in, satisfy his needs.

This sounds like a venting post... but my point to those who read it: if you are considering it, seek professional help. It may just be what you need.


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## cryin

it sounds like your husband is a narcissist and what your describing is called gas-lighting. 

My ex-wife did the same thing to me. she was and is very good at manipulation and keeping people off balance. thats the tactic they employ to confuse and emotionally manipulate people.


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## yellowsubmarine

You are absolutely correct. I was not familiar with those terms - thank you for sharing.

I had to look it up and research it. Since I have been sharing my story my other people, and reading more about relationships, I've learned a lot.

Looks aren't everything...


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## Nikolauz

"Gas-lighting", this is from that movie that I've seen when I was a kid, "Gas Light" with Ingrid Bergman in it, right? There also was a play that proceeded the movie, by Patrick Hamilton. I would have no idea that this has become a physiological term.


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