# Should My Family Know it.



## Indianinoz (Jul 30, 2013)

I am a 30 year old male from Indian Origin. Few Months back I went for Voluntary Sperm donation at IVF Australia. As they did testing they found out that I have very low sperm count so they repeated the test only to find out that my sperm count is less than one fourth of a normal person. This mean I would never be able to father a child. 

Now I am ok with this however, I have not informed this to my parents who like other Indian parents are bothered why is their son has not yet found someone for himself. 

I really want to know should I keep it to myself or let them know about it.


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## Spinner (Jul 26, 2013)

I personally think it's your business, but if you want to let you parents in the loop I'm sure they'd appreciate it. It comes down to what you're comfortable with.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Just how low is the sperm count?

I have had mine go to a low of 20 million but still ended up with 2 kids.
We tried 2 or 3 IUI's on my wife because she had PCOS.

But our kids were conceived the old fashioned way.


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## RAN (Oct 14, 2012)

Indianinoz said:


> I am a 30 year old male from Indian Origin. Few Months back I went for Voluntary Sperm donation at IVF Australia. As they did testing they found out that I have very low sperm count so they repeated the test only to find out that my sperm count is less than one fourth of a normal person. This mean I would never be able to father a child.
> 
> Now I am ok with this however, I have not informed this to my parents who like other Indian parents are bothered why is their son has not yet found someone for himself.
> 
> I really want to know should I keep it to myself or let them know about it.


Inform them. 

As per your post I think you are not married. If you want to marry, do you want to the Indian way(arranged marriage) or you are looking into some one where you are now to enter into a relationship & marry.

Why am I asking you this is, in case you go the Indian way the Girl you are going to get married to should be informed about the problem(in case you have) & there should be a clear cut acceptance from the girl.

So informing you parents is better(also must).


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## Indianinoz (Jul 30, 2013)

im_tam said:


> Just how low is the sperm count?
> 
> I have had mine go to a low of 20 million but still ended up with 2 kids.
> We tried 2 or 3 IUI's on my wife because she had PCOS.
> ...


Well three Test have shown three levels of count. 

First done two weeks ago 6 Million 

Second Done this week 8 Million 

One Month Back 7 Million

20 million is average sperm count I don't know why did you even consider it low.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Men with sperm counts as low as 2.5 million per ml have be known to father children. Low sperm count | Low Sperm Count Treatment


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## DobermanLove (Aug 19, 2013)

It's your body, your business simple as that. I'm unsure of your tradition/customs, so I'm not sure if your going to be an arranged marriage either. Ask yourself this, do you want kids, or does your family want grandkids? Your body, your life...


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

I would not say anything to your parents. You can never tell what the future will bring. And you aren't even married yet.

I know of a couple where he had a really low sperm count. He was in the military. On two different occasions he was sent out for a 2 month in-field training. After two months of abstinence, his sperm count went up and his wife conceived upon his return.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Really all it takes for an egg to be fertilized is one sperm. I know a high sperm count gives a greater chance, but there's no reason to think you can't father a child. You may be able to do conceive a child naturally and if not, through the help of reproductive specialists. I don't think you need to now assume you're forever doomed to be childless. Cross that bridge when you get to it. Don't say anything to anyone now.


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## ShyEnglishman (Aug 23, 2013)

Do you marry for love or for some other reason?

Sorry, while I'm aware of some cultural differences with regard to marriage, I don't really understand it. I can't see how there can be marriage without love (whether it is there from the start or comes later). If love is present then any problem will be overcome.

Low sperm count is not the same as infertility. It doesn't mean you can never father a child. Even if, after a few years nothing happens, there are numerous options available to boost your chances of success. Then what about adoption? There are innumerable kids given up for adoption that just need two loving parents. They don't care about DNA or heritage.

If you want to tell your family, that's your choice. If you don't want to tell them, that's your choice too. If you're going to get married, try to make sure that love comes into the equation somewhere, otherwise there's no point.


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## ShyEnglishman (Aug 23, 2013)

Do you marry for love or for some other reason?

Sorry, while I'm aware of some cultural differences with regard to marriage, I don't really understand it. I can't see how there can be marriage without love (whether it is there from the start or comes later). If love is present then any problem will be overcome.

Low sperm count is not the same as infertility. It doesn't mean you can never father a child. Even if, after a few years nothing happens, there are numerous options available to boost your chances of success. Then what about adoption? There are innumerable kids given up for adoption that just need two loving parents. They don't care about DNA or heritage.

If you want to tell your family, that's your choice. If you don't want to tell them, that's your choice too. If you're going to get married, try to make sure that love comes into the equation somewhere, otherwise there's no point.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

I recently read a great piece on arranged marriage of an Indian couple (in Slate) if anyone would like to read it.

I am familiar with arranged marriages, but typically it's money, character, profession that is discussed prior to a match correct? Then you meet the family and if given an "okay" you spend some time with the woman and decide if you like each other.

Then you get engaged and married.

I'm wondering though- why would you get the sperm test done? You were not trying to have a baby, so was this some kind of exam required of you? Men can father children in their 80's!

And keep in mind that there are lots of reasons for infertility/fertility challenges.

Your new bride for example- she may not know that she has an issue.

Or there may be nothing going on at all and you will have kids.

Unless you had permanent damage and a doctor told you 100% NO, never.. maybe then I would tell, if only for support.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

ShyEnglishman said:


> Do you marry for love or for some other reason?
> 
> Not love, Indian couples are taught that love is a weakness and compatibility in the long run is valued.
> Caste is also a big consideration.
> ...


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