# 50 Shades of Gray wifes bday coming up



## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

My wifes bday is coming up and thought about getting her the 50 shades of gray book to see if it would maybe spice things up in the bedroom at least for her. A little history she is going on 27 and im 29 she has never really been into sex that I can tell, never initiates and comes off as reserved about sex. I have discussed issue regarding our sex life with little improvement. She has in the past tried to open up about sex, since I have encouraged it and asked her what she wants and likes, we ordered a few toys but im guessing they weren't quite what she thought it would be, I just dont want to get her something and her think of me being a perv and tring to get her to be something she's not. I have heard of women reading this book and finally opening up about what they want and like just thought I would give this a try. She was suppost to go to a passion party for the first time and at the last min backed out, I guess due to embarressment. So should I get this for her maybe some other ideas?


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Good idea. I bought it for my wife and even though she tries to downplay it, I know that she's enjoying the book. She's about halfway through it and things have been a little better innthe bedroom. Not any miracles, mind you, but slight improvements, nonetheless.


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## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

Thanks, not looking for any miracles just something to atleast get her thinking about sex.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

If your wife is more of the cerebral type she might not like it. The writing is awful! Seriously. And I am 28 and the things the author has this girl saying in the book (I think she is like 21) are not at all the way young women talk. It's really awkward at times. Also the characters a flat and dull. The things in this book aren't even that new and exciting....I can't believe that THIS is the book women are freaking out about. If your wife is not at all adventurous in bed and not very open with her sexuality, this book may work for her. I guess it helps women know there is more than just missionary position sex out there.....and that it's ok.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> If your wife is more of the cerebral type she might not like it. The writing is awful! Seriously. And I am 28 and the things the author has this girl saying in the book (I think she is like 21) are not at all the way young women talk. It's really awkward at times. Also the characters a flat and dull. The things in this book aren't even that new and exciting....I can't believe that THIS is the book women are freaking out about. If your wife is not at all adventurous in bed and not very open with her sexuality, this book may work for her. I guess it helps women know there is more than just missionary position sex out there.....and that it's ok.


yh I didn't get the hype either, but im more into porn than books so maybe thats why. It was a real struggle to read through for me.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I flipped through it....I didn't care for the set up of the book. 

Try Zane. She writes some good sh!t


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

But 50 shades is so mainstream right now....buying any other book might piss her off. Oh ya FYI.....do NOT buy the audio version. Trust me


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I flipped through the copy I bought my wife and do agree that the writing is not at a level one would expect from a multi-published author. But that just prodded me to scan for the sex parts. I don't care if my wife does te same -as long as she gets to the good parts and reads them. 

She is a very vanilla LD and I hope that this broadens her sexuality. She does not like porn at all so I went a different route.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> I flipped through the copy I bought my wife and do agree that the writing is not at a level one would expect from a multi-published author. But that just prodded me to scan for the sex parts. I don't care if my wife does te same -as long as she gets to the good parts and reads them.
> 
> She is a very vanilla LD and I hope that this broadens her sexuality. She does not like porn at all so I went a different route.


Ya but women are all about the context. Men can just go straight to the sex. Women like the story around the sex as well. That's why there are so many romance novels for the female audience.


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## kev23 (Aug 16, 2012)

The book did NOTHING for my wife, who skeptically borrowed it from her mother. She said, "you know how different I am from many other women, and if I want to get turned on, I don't want to read, I will watch porn". That would be great, but not doing that either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

The book turned me off.it was painful to read such trash.I'd be offended if someone gave that book to me and expected it to get me turned on.I'd feel like my intelligence was being insulted bc that's how bad i think it is. 

One thing that turned me on and I NEVER forgot it: i had a man who used to write erotic stories for me.The characters were different each time and he really did wonderful making a background tale and the details were catered to what the average female would like.I treasured those stories and knew i was his muse for each one.

Would your wife like to read fan fiction trendy crap or would she like to read something straight from the mind of her loving husband?


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## ColumbusC (Aug 21, 2012)

I know that she's enjoying the book.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

missymrs80 said:


> But 50 shades is so mainstream right now....buying any other book might piss her off. Oh ya FYI.....do NOT buy the audio version. Trust me


There's an audio version???? lol


There's gotta be better stuff out there......just a tad over the top and unbelievable....


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The idea that there are groups of mom-pants housewives out their comparing notes based on this book gives me a laugh.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Pandakiss said:


> I flipped through it....I didn't care for the set up of the book.
> 
> Try Zane. She writes some good sh!t


Zane...definitely better....a must read. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I flipped through this to see what the big deal was about it, and I wasn't impress at all. This is coming from a woman who likes romance novels. Like I said, I flipped through the first book. The grammar was atrocious. It took me quite some time to find the first sex scene. I don't like the way it was described. 

50 shades started out as a Twilight bdsm fan fiction. The author took out the references to vampires and changed the names. It still reads like fan fiction. 

Give me actual porn.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

trying to back door the conversation about sex is really not the best way to handle this. You need to work on the open conversation and expect to take it slow.

Unless she has mentioned the book I would not get it for her. My wife in her 20's had a hard time talking about sex as well.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I don't know whether your wife's reading 50 Shades will spice things up in the bedroom, but you may find that she blushes and flushes a lot more, as well as talking incessantly about her inner goddess.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

dont forget incessant lip biting.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

oh my


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I am baffled. I never even heard of this book until I read about it here. I assumed initially that it was some hot new sex book. Then I found out it was fanfic based off the Twilight world. Also I hear the writing is abysmal and beyond stupid.

Yet it seems to be wetting women's panties all across the world. I see people on TAM giving 50 Shades credit for turning their cold fish wives into sex fiends. 

What's the appeal? Is it just "acceptable" porn?


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> The idea that there are groups of mom-pants housewives out their comparing notes based on this book gives me a laugh.


Me too! I read Harlequins in middle school. That whole phenomenon seems rather pathetic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## virgil (Sep 11, 2010)

Buy her a kindle and get her 50 shades of grey and put it on.

This gives her the ability to pick up and read without you having direct knowledge what she is reading. 

Hopefully she likes it and then has access to a huge range of erotic material to give her some ideas..


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Pandakiss said:


> I flipped through it....I didn't care for the set up of the book.
> 
> Try Zane. She writes some good sh!t


So does Lorelai James or Lora Leigh.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Very true. You're a better speller than I. And a have a much better memory. I just happened to be in the bookstore recently and was talking to my husband about the series.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

missymrs80 said:


> If your wife is more of the cerebral type she might not like it. The writing is awful! Seriously. And I am 28 and the things the author has this girl saying in the book (I think she is like 21) are not at all the way young women talk. It's really awkward at times.


Young women talk differently all over the world. For example, you say "I think she is like 21". This is not how British young women typically talk. The author of 50 Shades is British. Anyway, I think that it was edited to be less regional so perhaps the dialogue doesn't sound perfectly natural in Britain either.

I think it's pretty well accepted that this is not the highest form of literature. Nor is it the best example of erotic literature. It's too main stream for real fans of this genre. Many people like to read what their friends are reading and see films that their friends are seeing. This makes 50 Shades rather easy for women who aren't naturally into this kind of thing.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I'm a woman, I'm not just about context but that's me. I'm a published writer myself and I can't stand below level writing. It ruins the context or plot of the story for me.

I read an interesting article about 50 shades - the theory of this thought process is now becoming a hot debate about the set of books.

Make your own conclusions though:

Fifty Shades Of Grey


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

working_together said:


> There's an audio version???? lol
> 
> 
> There's gotta be better stuff out there......just a tad over the top and unbelievable....


Yes lol. I wasnt sure what to use my monthly audible credit on one month...so i got shades of grey. 

One more thing....if a man ever said to me, "laters, baby," the shop is CLOSED! Who says that?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> The book turned me off.it was painful to read such trash.I'd be offended if someone gave that book to me and expected it to get me turned on.I'd feel like my intelligence was being insulted bc that's how bad i think it is.
> 
> One thing that turned me on and I NEVER forgot it: i had a man who used to write erotic stories for me.The characters were different each time and he really did wonderful making a background tale and the details were catered to what the average female would like.I treasured those stories and knew i was his muse for each one.
> 
> Would your wife like to read fan fiction trendy crap or would she like to read something straight from the mind of her loving husband?



I bought for my wife....it didn't do much for her either...she said is wasn't interesting enough to keep reading...I will keep trying what works with her....and I will look into Zane.


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## PAmale (Sep 30, 2012)

My wife read the trilogy and has been open to more erotic stuff in bed. I like it because it makes me feel more mainstream with thoughts and fantasies I had but always felt my wife would just think I was odd. 50 shades has just made every man's deep seated desires mainstream. It is a wonderful thing- as long as your SO is open to it.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> Ya but women are all about the context. Men can just go straight to the sex. Women like the story around the sex as well. That's why there are so many romance novels for the female audience.


:iagree:


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

Waited4This said:


> My wifes bday is coming up and thought about getting her the 50 shades of gray book to see if it would maybe spice things up in the bedroom at least for her. A little history she is going on 27 and im 29 she has never really been into sex that I can tell, never initiates and comes off as reserved about sex. I have discussed issue regarding our sex life with little improvement. She has in the past tried to open up about sex, since I have encouraged it and asked her what she wants and likes, we ordered a few toys but im guessing they weren't quite what she thought it would be, I just dont want to get her something and her think of me being a perv and tring to get her to be something she's not. I have heard of women reading this book and finally opening up about what they want and like just thought I would give this a try. She was suppost to go to a passion party for the first time and at the last min backed out, I guess due to embarressment. So should I get this for her maybe some other ideas?


I would not want it for my birthday . You might do better with buying some romance novels. I got it as a joke gift from a dirty santa party. I found it out of date with the times. It almost put me to sleep. But I am a passionate lover so I have been told. Maybe that is why I found it to be boring.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> But 50 shades is so mainstream right now....buying any other book might piss her off. Oh ya FYI.....do NOT buy the audio version. Trust me



JMO he should not buy this as a birthday gift. She is having problems with this issue.


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