# Where is the truth ? please help



## shadz (Aug 18, 2010)

Hello everyone . 

am 33 years old , from palestine , married since 4 years now to my american wife , have 2 years old daughter , it all started since last april when i saw my wife wasn't feeling ok like before , we had our issues as everyone else , mistakes from both sides , but it would work out if we just sit and talk about it which never happened. 
i was thinking about sending my wife and my daughter back to the state for vacation and for a chance to see her family and spend some time there ( 1 month ) , which i found it was my biggest mistakes ever , it turn to the situation we are living now , am in Dubai , uae , and she is there is buffalo new york , she started to say i need more time to think about us , i need more time to know if i want to come back or not !!! which remain till now , 4 months almost , i fed up with this situation and asking her for coming back and everything will be fine but she never accept to come back , i had very bad time at my work , although i managed to leave to the state end of july to see her and to let her see she can trust me again and still want her back , after 17 hours of flying she wasn't in the airport , although it's just 20 miles from airport to her house , i rented a car , bought her 3 dozens of roses and drive there , when she saw me she just took the roses and went back to her apartment , it hurted me so bad and still , i spent 4 days in total to convince her about coming back , i offer her a villa , car , monthly payments for her and for my daughter just to not keep my daughter away from me , and even a maid to help her with the baby and the house in case she wanted to go to work her , but she refused it all. 
finaly she asked me to leave , saying good bye to my daughter was the hardest thing a humen can do , everytime i remember that moment i feel like i want to kill myself , although she was 2 years old but she sqweezed me and hug me as she knows am leaving ....

back home , i'm moving to a new house after tomorrow , packing all her stuff peice by peice like collecting my soul ashes , crying is not stoping , pain is endless , am i living a depression ? i beleive yes , i know everyone will recomend me to be out , see friends , spend my time doing stuff i like , and be try to be busy all time , although she still having the same words ( i don't know if i want to come back or not , i need time to think , i don't know what i want ) i see it's clear day after day she want it over , but she is having guts to say it honest and she is just buying time. 

i never care about applying for immigration to US , although she applied for me before a month ago i beleive i want it now at least for my daughter , i beleive some people will think that she run away cuz she couldn't live in Dubai , but this is not true , we had blast here , it's the best place a humen can live in if you have a good job like me , i took her every where , tour around the state , cruise in carribian , australia for a month and lots more , and she knows we had plans to move to the state within a year to buy a house and open our own business , with all that she just took her dicision to not come back , she always say i'm not taking your daughter from you or your family and you can come and see her whenever you want !!! forgod sack am living 16 hours of flying away from you , i had 30 days off per year , am i going to see her twice a year ?? is this enough for anyone ? damn 

she didn't finish her university , still have at least one year , she is 28 , and she is staying now at her sister , have no job , not much money , she even bought a car using a loan , and i beleive she will be back serving in rusterants as she use to do before we married . 

what shall i do ?? shall i forget about her and move ? shall i keep fighting which is very hard specially when i call her nice names like honey and babes and she reply please don't call me this !! how can i really move on ? shall i send her money in monthly bases ? i know i will send my daughter but what about her ? is sending money to her will help her to see the truth or will make her feel like oh yes , i run away and i get money !! 

there is no day pass without me sitting cry my soul out , i know i can't live like this for the rest of my life , but i don't know what to do , please help me to ease the pain. be honest please .


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## shadz (Aug 18, 2010)

another thing , she always say you deserve someone better , i'm not happy with you , we brought the worse of us to each other , we can't be nice to each other , is this enough to call it off ? lots of people calling her and begging her to come back but nothing moved her an inch , i was in hospital for 4 times , 2 times in I.C.U , and she knows that , but she didn't change at all. 
dose she need what she can't have ?? i though about this since everyone is asking her to come back and she become more and more stuborn !!?? dose this make a since ? what i the best thing to do now ?


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## shadz (Aug 18, 2010)

still looking for help


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## shadz (Aug 18, 2010)

100 reads not a single reply ... hmmm 

i beleive even if there is no one reply , this start to make me feel a little bet better .... 
today was one of the " days " i miss my daughter ALOT , i spent most of the days back and forth between crying and thinking , i thought like 100 times to send my wife a msg on facebook saying WTF !!! can you imagin your days without your daughter ?! do you think about me and how i feel now , how much i miss her , but then i found out it's a waste and there is no need for sending anything , i just drive my car went to a place they are selling salt water aquariums which my dream to have one , i didn't bought anything , just wanted to take myself out of the black box , i saw lots of kids on same age as my daughter and they were playing and having fun with their parents , and it hurted me alot but i kept moving ....
i guess i feel a little bit better while am writing this , and i'm moving to another flat tomorrow.


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