# my wife had an affair



## sadjake (Dec 29, 2009)

my wife had an affair. it ended several months ago. i in no way condone what she did and she take full blame. she went to confession with her mother sunday and confessed her sin. she hasnt been to church in years and was raised catholic. 

starting in 2006 i became withdrawn and depressed. i was in therapy and taking medication. then my brother 2008 (only sibling) died from a drug overdose. during this time i questioned my love for my wife and did not show her any affection and i ignored the needs of my children. we did not communicate with each other and she felt i did not love her and the children anymore. she began to go online and chat with people in her situation looking for answers to her own problems. one thing led to another and she had a emotional/physical affair. the man she was with fell in love with her and wanted to leave his wife for mine. at that point she ended the affair. we are both working together now to save our marriage. i would like to hear other peoples opinions.


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## HopingtoStartOver (Dec 29, 2009)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. That grief alone would be devastating... as for ur marriage i hope u can work it out and I hope she is as sorry as I am for the affair. If she is then try your best to let her love you - take everything one day at a time- and communication open


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

Well, it sounds like you two want to work things out, consider yourself lucky they don't all feel the same way after an affair.
Losing someone is tough and takes some time to recover from, give yourself that time. Apoligize for making her feel unloved and forgive her for her part in the marriage breakdown.
You can start new and just go day by day and be the best couple the two of you can be.....it's a bump in the road and together you can overcome anything.
good luck


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

sadjake said:


> my wife had an affair. it ended several months ago. i in no way condone what she did and she take full blame. she went to confession with her mother sunday and confessed her sin. she hasnt been to church in years and was raised catholic.
> 
> starting in 2006 i became withdrawn and depressed. i was in therapy and taking medication. then my brother 2008 (only sibling) died from a drug overdose. during this time i questioned my love for my wife and did not show her any affection and i ignored the needs of my children. we did not communicate with each other and she felt i did not love her and the children anymore. she began to go online and chat with people in her situation looking for answers to her own problems. one thing led to another and she had a emotional/physical affair. the man she was with fell in love with her and wanted to leave his wife for mine. at that point she ended the affair. we are both working together now to save our marriage. i would like to hear other peoples opinions.


What opinions are you looking for?

Is your woman worth trusting again? The answer to this question is depending on whether you are the man to fix the resonsibilities you have neglected. 

I understand you were griefstricken, but you did not regain control of your emotional state and areas of responsibility to your woman in emotional and sexual matters. 

This lead to your woman feeling undesired, and insecure, and a woman WILL NOT TOLERATE her man making her feel insecure no matter how hard she is trying.

When the good man is in control of himself, and his environment, he is the dominant man, and this is irrestible to a woman sexually, and is the cure for her insecurity.

In a woman, there is one of two things: sexual attraction, or insecurity.

As a man, it is your responsibility to be the dominant man in the matters of emotional and sexual connection to your woman.

Neglect these, as you did before, and you and your woman will be miserable.

Take ownership of these things, starting today moving forward, and healing and forgiveness will replace mistrust and resentment, and marriage can be bliss.

Feel free to look to my profile and my posts, over 100 dealing with this same thing time and time again.

I wish you well.


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