# I want to die right now - sexually frustrated



## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

So I've already got severe anxiety issues due to a drug withdrawal and probably life, that's been going on for about 7 weeks now. It's made getting and keeping an erection difficult for a while. But, we've been having sex about 5 to 8 times a week since we kickstarted her desires and generally it's been awesome and my body has been workable.

Tonight my wife surprised me by getting rid of the kids for a few hours and providing a sexual encounter including a few of my personal kinks. Tomorrow morning she leaves for almost a week.

It was awesome until she was on top going at it and suddenly got the impression somehow that I had finished so she stopped just before she orgasmed (as I've mentioned in other threads its difficult to get her to orgasm due to meds, etc.) and just layed down next to me to cuddle. There was a huge wet spot on the bed but none of it was me.

I immediately went flat but it took her a few minutes to realize I hadn't finished either and my anxiety kept me from saying anything. Afterwards I went down on her until she did orgasm, but I was never in a frame of mind to continue, and further stimulation just hurt.

Now she is leaving town for a week with me exceptionally frustrated. FML.

My anxiety / depression makes me dread the next week already, and it just went to a ten. I really hope mid week I don't have to check myself in somewhere because, yeah that's where I feel like I'm headed.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

OldManMage said:


> So I've already got severe anxiety issues due to a drug withdrawal and probably life, that's been going on for about 7 weeks now. It's made getting and keeping an erection difficult for a while. But, we've been having sex about 5 to 8 times a week since we kickstarted her desires and generally it's been awesome and my body has been workable.
> 
> Tonight my wife surprised me by getting rid of the kids for a few hours and providing a sexual encounter including a few of my personal kinks. Tomorrow morning she leaves for almost a week.
> 
> ...


What's stopping you from re-engaging before she leaves?


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## deepsouth (Apr 28, 2017)

OldManMage said:


> So I've already got severe anxiety issues due to a drug withdrawal and probably life, that's been going on for about 7 weeks now. It's made getting and keeping an erection difficult for a while. But, we've been having sex about 5 to 8 times a week since we kickstarted her desires and generally it's been awesome and my body has been workable.
> 
> Tonight my wife surprised me by getting rid of the kids for a few hours and providing a sexual encounter including a few of my personal kinks. Tomorrow morning she leaves for almost a week.
> 
> ...


5 to 8 times a week and you're 'frustrated'? Good-night man, you need the break... spend the time dwelling on how good it's been and not on the fluke at the end!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

In real life, sex doesn't always work out perfectly. You are having sex multiple times a week - if one doesn't go well, you can just enjoy the next time. 

The people stuck on a once-a-month plan have to wait a lot longer when things fail.


Not trying to minimize your issues - I know things going wrong can seem bad. Just keep in mind that this sort of minor failure happens to everyone. Best is just to laugh it off and have fun next time.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to minimize your frustrations either, but 5-8 times per week is A LOT, and not finishing once during that time is understandable. Just pick it back up and enjoy it the next time around. Do you not masturbate? That might be something to consider during the time that your wife is away. And keep in mind that with getting it on that much, you're incredibly lucky. I know a lot of people (myself included) who would love to be having sex once or twice a week, let alone once a day!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OldManMage said:


> my anxiety kept me from saying anything.


Relationships are more about communication and less about orgasms. If she is going out of town, you can still work on communication while the two of you are apart and perhaps even enjoy missing one another.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

And enjoy some Spicy 🌶 phone sex!


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

deepsouth said:


> 5 to 8 times a week and you're 'frustrated'? Good-night man, you need the break... spend the time dwelling on how good it's been and not on the fluke at the end!


If I got it 5 to 8 times in the same week, I would think it was a dream...because it would be.


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

The good news is that you've rekindled the passion in the bedroom and you're both into it. Your wife is initiating and engaging your kinks. That's pretty awesome. I have to say I think a lot of your issues are in your head. Everybody falls flat from time to time. I think you handled it ok - you took care of her orgasm. Take a deep breath and enjoy the week off. Enjoy some solo play while the cat is away. Plan some fun stuff for when your wife returns, but don't overthink it. It's sex - it's supposed to be fun right? Just keep communicating with your wife and figure out what works and what doesn't work. Focus on what works and keep doing that.

As far as the anxiety/withdrawal - you really need to talk to the prescribing physician about that. Or have you already?


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

Tex X said:


> As far as the anxiety/withdrawal - you really need to talk to the prescribing physician about that. Or have you already?


Two docs and a psychologist. The docs were worse than useless - the first one while I was in the worst of it basically didn't care if I jumped off a cliff, suggested a referral to their on-staff shrink. I asked how long to get in to see him, wondering if I could survive two or three days. "Three to four weeks usually" and wanted to put me on an antidepressant that wouldn't take effect for... you guessed it, three to four weeks. The usual withdrawal from extended use of Flonase I found online is four weeks.

The second doc two weeks later was a good friend of mine and at least showed concern but produced no better options while agreeing with me it was likely the Flonase withdrawal and trying a different dose of the meds the first doc suggested that I wasn't able to tolerate.

I ended up self-treating with St. John's Wort and Vitamin B5. And therapy with you guys and another forum 

Yes, I'm aware it's all in my head so to speak. My body feels a certain way and my brain tries to justify it by making stuff up. Intellectually knowing there's no problem isn't the same as feeling there's no problem. My biggest fear is that it's NOT the withdrawal and this is the new norm. If that's the case I probably will take that bridge sometime. I'm running out of the will to fight. But, I'm better than when I started this thread last night so there's that.


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

Hang in there - things sounds rough for you right now individually, but you actually have a lot to work with from a relationship standpoint. Try to stay focused on the positive and ride this thing out.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

OldManMage,

List the positives.
1. Your wife created a kinky scene.
2. Your wife ditched the kids specifically to make that scene happen.
3. She enjoyed herself, a lot.
4. You got her to orgasm, which is quite and uphill battle.
5. You have a week away from your wife during which time you can methodically entice and seduce her via sexting and phone sex.
6. When she comes back, you will **** the **** out of her!


Focus! Positives!


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## OldManMage (Jun 6, 2017)

I figured I should probably comment that I'm still around and almost as sexually frustrated. :laugh:

My wife and i were able to get emails back and forth yesterday with the bit of wifi she has. I won't go into details. > That and a good day at work and a few other things has left me in a much better frame of mind.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OldManMage said:


> My wife and i were able to get emails back and forth yesterday with the bit of wifi she has. * I won't go into details. > *That and a good day at work and a few other things has left me in a much better frame of mind.


While you can't go into details, I bet you are enjoying missing each other physically in a way that has perhaps brought you each a little closer emotionally? If so, that is awesome!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ahhh, don't worry about it. Not ALL sexual encounters are going to end in an orgasm for both of you. Did it feel good while you were doing it? That is all that really matters! Keep at it.


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