# Divorce Observation #1 - Comedic cooking changes



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I know... Its long... Deal with it.

Throughout the past 11 years, 9 of which were married, W has never done much in the kitchen. Her extent of cooking was hitting the quick cook buttons on the microwave to warm up something prepared.

While I have been on 2nd shift, our "dinners" are when most people would have lunch - usually something fairly extensive. I enjoy cooking and have no problem beingthe domestic in this respect. I try to prepare flavorful, healthy meals for my family, and lately my oldest has shown an interest in helping. I am happy oblige. It is fun to have her "help", even if it is more work for me.

Fast forward to this year, when divorce rose its ugly head in my household. Over the past two weeks, W has been in the kitchen almost daily trying her hand at cooking. It is like she is channeling Julia Child! She seems to be focusing on baking at the moment. Today she made a carrot cheesecake with fresh carrots from the garden. it was pretty yummy, the batter, that is. I'll see how the cake came out tonight.

Here is the funny part. W has no patience, which you need while cooking. W does the kitchen cleanup, and when cooking, you make a mess. She HATES that! W has never been good at directions. She takes them one step at a time, never reading the whole recipe first before deciding if it is the right one - if the picture looks good, title sounds good, lets go for it! This all leads to lots of screaming, lots of messes, lots of cursing, and wwwwaaaaayyyyyy too much work, as she tends to find recipes that are much too complicated for beginners.

Todays cheesecake asked for chopped cooked carrots that were pureed. She was completely stuck, as she thought she could use the shredded carrots she made yesterday for this recipe. Never read it completely. Not sure what to do... I told her, put the carrots in the microwave with some water and cook them for a few minutes until soft, then hit them with the boat motor. Deer in the headlights... "It says chopped and cooked." I understand she is new to this, and I did not criticize her in any way. I tried to explain calmly that what they need is softened carrots, so that they can puree smoothly. Adding some water and the shredded carrots and microwaving them will get you to the same point. Puree them and make the cheesecake. She proceeded apprehensively, but it worked. 

Just sitting on the outside looking in, the panic on her face as she stepped deeper and deeper into this recipe, as in addition to the above carrot fiasco, it called for a water bath for the baking which we did not have, and her pie dish was not big enough to hold all the batter. Bad words were said... in the end it was all ok, as we found another pan and ended up just skipping the water bath. 

I'm sure it will be fine, but maybe a bit more dry. Just put on more whipped cream.

I understand what is going on. She is realizing that she is going to have to make up the things that I just do. Things are going to get tougher for her. I moved out of home to go to college on my own and I had my own home for 5 years prior to getting married. I had to take care of many things because of this. Although I am not an expert, I am not afraid to try, and will usually get my way through whatever is in my way. She on the other hand lived with her parents, then with me. Most things were done for her. She is now in for a rude awakening in her mid-30s where she will have to take care of many more things that were just done for her. 

I do commend her for trying and learning. I think she is trying to adjust her life to accomodate new responsibilities. That said, she does not make it easy on herself. She starts to work on these things, gets them wadded up, then comes and asks for help angrily, now everyone is upset. I just wish she would say, hey, I need to learn how to..... Can you show me or point me in the right direction? Although we are separating and are having many more difficulties, I will help if she needs it.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

I did not live with my parents after the age of 16 and 
cooked plenty but do I like it? no... 
will I try new recipes? not unless I have to....

Plenty of people just dont care to cook. These days with all the selctions, nobody really has to cook
and there are always raw food diets.........

God bless her for even trying and more so since someone in the house seems they are going to be real critical about the carrot cake thing.


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

preso said:


> I did not live with my parents after the age of 16 and
> cooked plenty but do I like it? no...
> will I try new recipes? not unless I have to....
> 
> ...


It is not that fact that she is doing it, heck I would have LOVED to have a partner while working in the kitchen. It would have been fun. It is the fact that she NEVER did this kind of thing. The most she would do is christmas cookies out of a pre-made bag. Now, we are divorcing and she has a new future and starting with a new man (yes, we are still living together, at least for now) and she has completely changed course. She probably bakes 3-4 days out of the week!

Hey, it is great for her, I guess.


----------



## Airee (Aug 16, 2009)

preso said:


> I did not live with my parents after the age of 16 and
> cooked plenty but do I like it? no...
> will I try new recipes? not unless I have to....
> 
> ...


I believe you may have missed the point preso.:slap::slap::slap: She is learning to cook for another man, not for her own 2 kids and her husband, but another man that she's having an affair with. You're far to kind 2kids, you're letting her have her cake and eat it too, literally!

Your writing is virtuoso. I highly recc you start piecing together a book!

:awink::awink::awink:,
A

P.S. This thread is a good one, I'm excited to read more. You sound uplifted friend. Not so depressed anymore, have we moved on to acceptance??? :bounce:


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

Maybe it was not clear in my writing. I was standing back, watching, and waiting to help if and when needed. She was the one getting frustrated, swearing, screaming, wondering why she even tries this stuff because its always a mess. I was not judgmental, as I know things can get hectic in the heat of the battle when cooking. Wherever I could, I would suggest something or answer a question. However, she usually just did what she wanted.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

I did not know your situation but understand now...


if she is learning to cook for another man, then you can say she is maybe trying to make him think she is something she isn't... a kitchen person/ cook.
Some people like me just don't care that much about cooking and can live without doing any. I didn't use my stove for over 15 years except one burner and did ok.
Anyway...
sounds like she is not going to keep her interest in cooking, some of us just don't care for it.

I'm waiting for more women to design houses... put the kitchen in a corner of the basement, near the washer and dryer where it belongs... not in the middle of the house and living quarters.

I do not know many people who cook and no women who cook.
My husband cooks and thats great for people who like steak and bacon wrapped, deep fried hot dogs, chili and burgers.

none of which are my favorites.

My husband bought a stove for me, I was happy to have 5 burners but I planned to never use more than 2... and never the oven.
He was mistaken to think it would spark any interest in me to have a fancy stove and oven.


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

> Your writing is virtuoso. I highly recc you start piecing together a book!


Thanks, but no, I'm not a writer. These posts are just thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart. Thats easy to do, just put pen to paper or type. To write is to create a new world and new characters and new events. I can't do that. It takes a more special kind of person than I to do that. 



> You sound uplifted friend... Not so depressed anymore, have we moved on to acceptance???


Uplifted - No...
Depressed - Yes...
Acceptance - Yes...
Good place yet... - No...

  ray: issed: :cussing: :whip: :bringiton: :nono: :banghead: :scratchhead: :BoomSmilie_anim:


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

M22: Uuuhhhh, I'd be lying if I said that I did not smile a little when the tension was rising along with the dust from the flour... [blush]  

Yesh, that is the plan for the little monkeys. The older one just lives to help. I'll work with her any time. Kitchen time is a fun time to share and learn and spend quality time together. The only better times are meal times and time reading.


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

Oh, by the way... The cheesecake turned out pretty good. It does need whipped cream, but what doesn't?


----------



## DeniseK (Jun 25, 2009)

My six year old boy loves to cook. I think it's great. Just thought I'd throw that in. Do you know how many of my friends have hubbies who do the cooking? Astoundinly....it's high. In fact..almost all of them...including my sis's hubby and my brother. Nick never lifted a finger to help me except once. It was cute...I made a big deal of it and he got embarassed and never tried again. I guess that was my fault for gushing.

So...some women don't cook. I bet it gets old for her when she realizes that not every man does all that...and that she doesn't have a nac for it. So where will they be ina few months....eating take out and fast food. Yummy. 

I like my cheese cake plain....but won't discriminate...all cheese cake is equally good in my eyes. LOL


----------



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

> I like my cheese cake plain....but won't discriminate...all cheese cake is equally good in my eyes. LOL


This one was for my older daughter who loves anything orange - carrots, oranges, pumpkins, etc. If it is orange, its hers.

I agree on the plain. Just simple, heavy, dense... My favorite recipe has 6 eggs and 8 pkgs of cream cheese. Oooohhhh, its so smooth and luscious... It is an old recipe from a yellowed and worn cookbook.... the best kind.


----------



## Airee (Aug 16, 2009)

I simply can not help myself, I prefer my cheescake with milk, in a glass, separate not on the cheescake...I love whip cream but am staying away from it, my thighs just can't handle it...


----------

