# Separated but trying to work it out... its hard



## admingirl (Aug 13, 2011)

My husband and I have been having married for 10 years and together for 12. We have children. Things finally got to the point where I asked for a separation in hopes that it would help us. He was this great, confident man that was a really good father but then over the years started showing signs of depression - I urged him to get help, to just talk to our doctor or a counsellor - anyone. He would drink and then get mean, not physically but he would yell at our kids and me. He was so unhappy. We sought out couples counselling and he didnt like our counsellor. Things kept going on as they were until I couldnt take it anymore. I moved out and got my own place last April. I took the kids and we agreed he doesnt have to pay child support because he doesnt have enough money to live off of seeing as he has a child from a previous relationship he is paying for.

Over the summer we stayed in contact and he started dating a girl. It was weird I wasnt jealous about them dating but it bothered me that she was being brought out with our friends. I told him that if it was ok for him to date then so could I & I started to get to know someone. It wasnt meant to be, the guy was really nice but I wasnt ready for anything and we didnt seem to click so we parted ways. Right around that same time my husband had a breakdown and called me to take him to the hospital, he was suicidal and said he could only talk to me. He told me that he ended it with the girl and that he only wnted to be with me. He said he had been going for counselling & realized everything that had happened was his fault and that he was so upset for how he treated me and the kids and that was what brought him to this point. He then spent the next 2 months off work because of stress/anxiety. His business partners turned on him and he eventually told them he couldnt return to work and wanted to sell his shares. They didnt take it very well and it got ugly. The whole time I was there for moral support - he asked me to try to work things out with him and I agreed. It hurt to see him like this, I thought I could live with some that I didnt love as long as it made him happy. I would sacrifice my happiness. 
We still live separately but he has every meal at my house, he has no vehicle so he uses mine that I bought (with my own money) after we separated, he pays no child support to me only to his other childs mother. He has no bills except for rent and credit card. I know he loves me but I am feeling used. I called him on it this morning when he asked if he could take the car to hockey and he said he would get a cab then and slammed the door. We have barely talked but I know I have to be firm on this - I dont want to hurt him but I dont know if I can love him like he wants me to again. Also he pushes me for sex constantly, either trying to have sex or talking about what he wants to do with me. It grosses me out - I do it sometimes just to get him to leave me alone. I need some advice - I know he sounds like he isnt the greatest but he is trying


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