# How can I get him to buy me out?



## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

So...I need a divorce.

Leaving aside the emotional turmoil for right now--We don't have any kids or a lot of property to divide. We don't own a house. We have a joint account that I took some money out of (less than half) when I left. He can have all the money now in the shared account. I have my own account and my own job.

The only even semi-major thing we really own in common is the truck. He needs it for work; I use it for convenience now and then. I find it kind of a pain to co-own the thing, now that my stbxh and I don't live in the same part of town.

We bought the truck together, after we were married, with half of the money coming from my pay and half the money coming from his. Both of our names are on the title and registration. It was a nice vehicle, and it cost us both a nice chunk of change.

I think it would make sense for him to buy out my half-ownership of the truck. During a discussion a few weeks ago, he agreed. Judging from the balance in the joint account and the amounts on his direct deposit, he can afford to buy me out without too much pain, especially if he spreads out payments over a few months. He doesn't seem to be too eager to settle up, though.

If he buys me out, we could have a very simple, non-contested divorce. We wouldn't even need separate lawyers, since there'd be nothing else to fight about.

But if he refuses to buy my half of the truck, we'll probably end up with a contested divorce. That would really hurt each of us financially, and it would take a lot longer to finish up. But I could see him insisting, just to have the satisfaction of not cooperating with me.

I know there are hostile ways I could force the issue. I could just take the truck, park it somewhere he doesn't know about, and then tell him that, if he wants the car back, he'll have to buy it from me. But I really don't want to be that nasty and make it harder for him to go work. Also, I'm afraid that if I do something like that, he'll decide to teach me a lesson by making the divorce as contentious and litigious as possible. 

Can any of you guys think of a good way for me to convince my stbxh to buy me out? I'd be very grateful for any suggestions you could give me.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Tell him to buy you out or you want the truck three and a half days a week.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Not sure about your particular state, but in Tennessee, a property settlement is a different animal than a divorce decree. You and he are both mature enough to work out the nuts and bolts of a property settlement. Work it out in detail on paper, both of you sign it, and a lawyer can incorporate it into your final divorce. You save the billable hours of lawyers working out these details. In the end, you both have to abide by whatever the judge says anyway, so you might as well work out these details between yourselves, now. This is pretty simple. He has possession of the truck and he is the one who primarily uses it. He pays for it and you relinquish all claim to it. The easiest way is for both of you to go to the bank and have them draft up a new contract without you as one of the debtors. If they are unwilling, they can wait for a court order awarding him the truck. He has the option of paying the truck himself, allowing the bank to repossess it, or selling it and purchasing something within his budget. Unless he is just the most stellar sort of character, I would be unwilling to remain on the note after the divorce. You don't want to find out the hard way that payments aren't being made.


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## valaria (Oct 18, 2010)

Find out what current book value is and sell the truck, you can't force him to refinance it and the courts don't look at a vehicle as appreciative property, since it doesn't accumulate value. If he won't buy you out or offer to refinance it into his name only, selling is your only option, ask the court to appoint a mediator if all else fails. Also don't allow him to try to surrender the truck, he needs your signature and this will tank your credit. If he doesn't make the payments you need to, to keep you credit in tact. If you do this you can take your canceled checks to court and ask for possession of the truck.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I'm not sure how it works elsewhere, but I live in FL, and when I got divorced, one of the documents in the motion for divorce paperwork was what they called a Marital Settlement Agreement. On this paper (several pages, actually), we were to divide up what we could agree on of our assets, debts, etc. It also allowed us to specify if we had something, such as your truck, that one of us would keep and then pay the other for, with specifics of how much would be paid, for how long, and in what increments (weekly, monthly, etc.). This document was then signed, notarized and filed with the rest of the paperwork. Once the divorce was finalized, it incorporated this document, making it legally binding. Meaning that if we'd had a truck that he was buying me out on, that document was all I needed to prove it was to be his truck and he was to pay me for it. 

I would check and see if your state has a document like this, and start there. If they don't, then I'd check with a lawyer on how best to handle this.


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## jahenders (Dec 9, 2010)

Along the lines of what DanF said, I'd recommend telling him something like:
"Look, we both know this is over. It'll cost us both thousands, and lots of pain, if we make this divorce contested. The truck is the only thing preventing us from solving this cheaply and quickly, so let's settle. I recommend three options:
1) You buy my half based on current blue book
2) We share custody like on a child -- you drive it MTWH and drop it off to me Thursday night; I drive it Fri Sat Sun and drop it off to you Sunday night.
3) You keep the truck and give me X, Y, and Z (many other joint assets).
Which do you want to do so we can move forward?"

Keep in mind that part of the reason he may be holding out is that he's holding out hope for your relationship.


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## sbbs (Sep 21, 2009)

Thanks, everyone, for your suggestions.

*jahenders*--I've told my stbxh pretty much just what you've suggested, except that I don't want to share "custody" of the truck. That's what we've been doing. He only needs the truck 3 days each week, and, in theory, the car is mine to use whenever else I'd like. But now that I've moved across town, I want to get out of dealing with the truck. I don't need it, I don't want it, and I don't want to be responsible for parking, maintenance, insurance, his tickets, or renewing the registration (which is expensive where I am.) 

He's told me that, in his view, things are fair. We're still sharing the truck, as we had agreed when we bought it. It's free for me to use for more than half of the week. The fact that it's now incredibly inconvenient for me to actually use the truck isn't really relevant, as far as he's concerned. I was the one who decided to move out. If I don't like the consequences of that, tough crap.

We don't have any other assets, other than money in each of our accounts. There's no other trade I can propose.

And, yes, part of the reason he doesn't want to buy me out is that he still wants me back. Why, I'm not sure. Would you really want someone who left you? Especially if you obviously didn't like or respect her to begin with? Wouldn't you just want to settle up and be done?

*valaria*--I can't sell the truck without his signature. (Where I am, both people whose names are on the title have to sign to transfer the title to someone else.) Besides, if I tried to do that, he'd get really hostile, for sure.


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