# help



## ROWAN1 (Jun 21, 2012)

Hi Everyone
I am posting here to get some helping advice from moms and wives. I've been married for 4 years and we have a 6 month old. Our marriage has reached a level of harmony and true basis for understanding each other over the last 2 years. We try to be intimate but my wife says she is not desiring of it, for no explicable reason. She says something is missing. In addition, she says that she doesnt want to wake up in 20 years feeling that this was her life. She has said it may just be new mom hormones but she says she feels like a bird trapped in a cage and it has become so much more obvious to her since having the baby. She doesnt work and is at home all day (she doesnt work by choice and luckily our finances are in order so as not to be troubled by this choice). She is a great mom and makes me happy. But she has been very quiet and to herself the last few days and asked me to let her think it out. I feel so trapped and dont know what to do. She doesnt want to go on a trip with me and the boy because its too troubling and burdensome to gear him up (at this stage) for a trip and she says that she feels bad for me and thinks I deserve to be happy. There is no cheating going on - she just is very open. She has also philosophically said that divorce can be a harmonious thing and not such a bad thing although she has also said that this is not her way of saying she wants one, she is just referencing it as a conversational thought. We dated from a young age and has held some resentment toward me for feeling 'trapped' since day 1 because she didnt get to live out her youth and whenever she did want some space before we took the step toward marriage, I'd freak out acting as though the world was caving in around me and that's why she stayed in it. I dont know how much of this is hormones, how much of this is looking at baby and now having a symbol of what the rest of her life entails, or being at home with all these thoughts since she can't get away from baby...i dont know, I'm rambling..but it is killing me and I have no idea how to go about figuring this all out. I dont want a divorce and find myself to be a wimp by not standing up for myself more aggressively when she even mentions it in passing...help...


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yep. Society doesn't value SAHMs, and it's very difficult dealing with that plus the changes in your body, hormones, nursing, lack of sleep, lack of free time. You don't know who you are because everything is about your child for a few years. 
If she is nursing, those hormones are libido killers. It's mother nature's way of spacing out births. 
Have you had sex at all since the baby was born?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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