# Update on AP/ex suddenly demanding more time with kids



## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Original post:
https://talkaboutmarriage.com/copin...-strength-tolerate-aps-become-exs-spouse.html

Hopefully I copied that link correctly. Anyway, the wife (our client) graciously agreed to split Christmas day with her ex and his AP/new wife. She would get until 1pm, they would pick up the kids and get until 8pm. When they showed up at about 2pm the ex and his ap/wife had been drinking. Mom said there's no way you two are taking the kids in this state, go home and sleep it off. Ex turns to leave then spins around and punches her square in the face. Knocked her down, jumps on her, and starts strangling her. Yelling "you ruined my life you ****ng *****!" Doing all this in front of their young children and the wife's family including mom, dad, sisters and their husbands. They drag him off and he starts fighting them. His ap/wife jumps out and starts fighting with them too. Police come and arrest the ex and his wife. Late last night I was able to get a PRO in place, which was no small task on Christmas day. Mom is doing fine physically, swollen nose, two black eyes, bruises, and very shaken but a very strong woman. When she called me yesterday evening she said "at least I don't think I'll have to worry about custody issues any more, will I? If so then I'd take 1000 beatings to make sure the kids are safe." I assured her that neither her ex nor his ap/wife would ever be allowed to be in a room unsupervised with the children ever again until they are 18 and can make those decisions themselves.

Dumb drunk a-hole. Wanted to have more custody and in one stupid drunken act ensured he'll never get 1 minute of custody ever again. As horrible as this seems to be on a Christmas day, it could really turn out to be a Christmas blessing for the family. Now the ex has a laundry list of charges against him (felony aggravated assault & battery, felony domestic violence, misdemeanor assault on her relatives, and felony assault on two police officers) and with all the witnesses and very visible physical harm he inflicted on his children's mother, he's going to do minimum two to five years in prison for this and will have his parental rights permanently terminated. I hope he's visited regularly in his cell by some large burly inmates that take a shine to him.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, his new room-mate(s) will make a woman of him.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Wow. This guy is a nut job. He could have killed his ex-wife. Thank goodness he has a couple of jail years to get off his anger wagon. He totally lost it. Drunken fool!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Karma. Well really just asinine behaviour


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Thound said:


> Karma. Well really just asinine behaviour


Sadly, not surprising at all though. 

But this case is extreme. How sad, but it could have been much worse if the local idiot would of murdered the children's mom. 

Instead, the kids will be happy with mom and this fool will hurt for a very long time. 

Now his AP turned wife will divorce him too. Who will he blame for his "misfortune?"


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Bibi1031 said:


> Sadly, not surprising at all though.
> 
> But this case is extreme. How sad, but it could have been much worse if the local idiot would of murdered the children's mom.
> 
> ...


He might not be done yet


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Bibi1031 said:


> Who will he blame for his "misfortune?"


I did find it sad but not surprising that he had the nerve to accuse her of ruining his life. He cheated with a coworker, she gave him a second chance. He continued the affair, she divorced him, he ended up marrying the AP. A woman he that he swore to his wife at the time was crazy, manipulative, and meant nothing to him. Of course, that's when he wanted her to forgive him for a second time. The thing is, he wasn't some low-brow trash. He was a golden boy. Good family, star athlete, homecoming king, college graduate. Look at him now...and for what?


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

[QvUOTE=Thound;19753893]Karma. Well really just asinine behaviour[/QUOTE]



Thound said:


> He might not be done yet



My thinking exactly. Poor XW and kids.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

These people sound so incredibly trashy. I’m happy the mom has a great attorney in you!!!


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Bibi1031 said:


> Thound said:
> 
> 
> > Karma. Well really just asinine behaviour
> ...


He was one of those privileged good looking guys that has always gotten his way. Everything always broke his way. This situation may have been the first time in life that he wasn't in control. Things didn't work out as he wanted and you see the results. It was easy to get a PRO and I truly believe he is dangerous to his ex wife and their children but a PRO doesn't do anything to actually physically protect them. It's just a vehicle to prosecute him by if he violates it by coming anywhere near them. The sad truth, however, is that many times in the past there were people like this that went off the deep end and murdered those that they feel took control away from them. A PRO can't stop that in any way. I've talked with her at great length. She and the children are going to stay with one of her sisters but she told me they had no weapons in that house. I advised them to arm themselves until he's safely in prison. He's currently still in jail, so is his new wife, but they will both get out today and it could be some time before his trial and eventual incarceration.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Oh WOW! Was this man abusive to her during their marriage. Sounds like it is a good thing he ran off and left her. He is a disgusting human being.

Sad for the kids.

Glad she had witnesses and an awesome attorney!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

VermiciousKnid said:


> I did find it sad but not surprising that he had the nerve to accuse her of ruining his life. He cheated with a coworker, she gave him a second chance. He continued the affair, she divorced him, he ended up marrying the AP. A woman he that he swore to his wife at the time was crazy, manipulative, and meant nothing to him. Of course, that's when he wanted her to forgive him for a second time. The thing is, he wasn't some low-brow trash. He was a golden boy. Good family, star athlete, homecoming king, college graduate. Look at him now...and for what?


Are we talking about the correct WS here? I am confused. 

The new wife\ past AP was a friend of the couple, not a co-worker turned homewrecker right?


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Post 10 of the original thread. @Taxman wrote:


> VK, I give the other side about two years before he starts blaming the new wife for him not seeing his kids. He will build resentment toward her, eventually, he will cheat on her as well. Or vice-versa. AP's marrying? Rarely works.


Let's hope this doesn't take this long. I also see the AP cheating on him as soon as the cell door slams shut.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

Bibi1031 said:


> Are we talking about the correct WS here? I am confused.
> 
> The new wife\ past AP was a friend of the couple, not a co-worker turned homewrecker right?


Both. They were all friends, his AP's hubby was the ex's best friend. The ex got her (AP) a job where he worked. We were going to win a custody battle because he had made almost no effort to be part of their lives until they found out she couldn't have children. His wife (our client) was extremely gracious to them (I wouldn't have been) in agreeing to allow them more time with the children. She changed all her holiday plans so that they could have the kids for half of Christmas day and then they showed up drunk and wanting the kids to get into a car with them. I really admire our client. She's very strong. I have yet to see her cry but I know she does. She's been a saint throughout this whole thing.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

VermiciousKnid said:


> Original post:
> https://talkaboutmarriage.com/copin...-strength-tolerate-aps-become-exs-spouse.html
> 
> Hopefully I copied that link correctly. Anyway, the wife (our client) graciously agreed to split Christmas day with her ex and his AP/new wife. She would get until 1pm, they would pick up the kids and get until 8pm. When they showed up at about 2pm the ex and his ap/wife had been drinking. Mom said there's no way you two are taking the kids in this state, go home and sleep it off. Ex turns to leave then spins around and punches her square in the face. Knocked her down, jumps on her, and starts strangling her. Yelling "you ruined my life you f'ing b*tch!" Doing all this in front of their young children and the wife's family including mom, dad, sisters and their husbands. They drag him off and he starts fighting them. His ap/wife jumps out and starts fighting with them too. Police come and arrest the ex and his wife. Late last night I was able to get a PRO in place, which was no small task on Christmas day. Mom is doing fine physically, swollen nose, two black eyes, bruises, and very shaken but a very strong woman. When she called me yesterday evening she said "at least I don't think I'll have to worry about custody issues any more, will I? If so then I'd take 1000 beatings to make sure the kids are safe." I assured her that neither her ex nor his ap/wife would ever be allowed to be in a room unsupervised with the children ever again until they are 18 and can make those decisions themselves.
> ...


Lucky someone didn't kill him and only called the police.


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

sokillme said:


> Another man might have killed him (which is not a shot at you). Just saying he is lucky you only called the police.


Not me. I'm her attorney that handled her divorce and this new custody dispute. My part in this incident was to get an emergency PRO against her ex and his wife so that when they get released today, they can't come anywhere near her or the children or they'll be locked up until the trial is over.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

VermiciousKnid said:


> Both. They were all friends, his AP's hubby was the ex's best friend. The ex got her (AP) a job where he worked. We were going to win a custody battle because he had made almost no effort to be part of their lives until they found out she couldn't have children. His wife (our client) was extremely gracious to them (I wouldn't have been) in agreeing to allow them more time with the children. She changed all her holiday plans so that they could have the kids for half of Christmas day and then they showed up drunk and wanting the kids to get into a car with them. I really admire our client. She's very strong. I have yet to see her cry but I know she does. She's been a saint throughout this whole thing.


I see. Thank you for the explanation. It makes sense now.😀


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

Sheesh, such craziness! I truly admire your client. I hope those kids will grow up to be strong-willed and gracious like her.

I hope she did take your advice to arm herself though. Her ex and his wifetress don’t sound too stable at all. This incident may be a good anger management and moderate drinking lesson, but this could also have just added fuel to their flames.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20

It's somewhat counter-intuitive but by not fighting the ex she may have lured him into a trap he couldn't resist and now can't escape.

No doubt his perfect relationship with the OW began to have conflict and who better to blame than his exW since her decency made her seem like an easy target.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

VermiciousKnid said:


> Not me. I'm her attorney that handled her divorce and this new custody dispute. My part in this incident was to get an emergency PRO against her ex and his wife so that when they get released today, they can't come anywhere near her or the children or they'll be locked up until the trial is over.


Yeah I saw that after I wrote this. I corrected that. He is lucky she or nor anyone else in that house had a gun. That's the kind of thing that gets you shot. She should have one now.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Nothing like holidays, custody issues and alcohol to make a perfect storm of stupidity....

I do hope your client recovers quickly from her injuries.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

VK, now that there is a restraining order out there, and visitation comes to a grinding halt, the lovebirds will start tearing that nest apart PFQ. I predict a blame game that will put a nail in the coffin of that relationship. (nothing good grows in a dark hole) Sometime in March, Ex-H will be on his own, and tasting some bitter regret. 

May your client find happiness with her children, in a life without her ex.


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## Oldtimer (May 25, 2018)

I hope she and her children find the peace they deserve. 

Her POS husband and his now POS wife deserve each other and a hefty jail sentence.

Unfortunately PRO’s are bull**** and not necessarily adhered to. In the line of work I’ve been in for the last 37 years, I’ve seen to many times when they are broken by both parties and they end up being useless.

They need more to be safe than a PRO and hopefully the ex and his paramour come before a judge who doesn’t care about them being the golden boy and his rich ***** and sends them where they both belong. In a sweet 12x8 room with a bunk and toilet.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Damn. Glad she's OK. And, like you said, this will likely turn out to be a blessing for her and the kids in the end.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Need a new large dog that guards your family, a security system, etc.

Harden the target.


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