# Letting go while still stuck there



## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

So outline, she cheated, has been psychotic since, threated calling the police blah blah, we tried "reconciling" had full transparency. I don't want to be with her anymore, and she has angrily said the same. I'm stuck on the couch until I move out, can't do much else as she'll become extremely hostile, and won't think twice about lying to authorities.

My question is why am I still wanting to look at her messages, she changed the password to view text/call information and I obviously am not going to ask for her phone, there's no point anyway. But I don't like the idea, that this ***** is probably upstairs texting some guy. If she turns around and says, right I'm off out, I don't know how I'll react. She's good, she knows the 2 last things that will cut me up enough to get a reaction or 'bite' from me.

Toughy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Why are you on the couch? Shes the one who's cheating. 

If she is being that abusive, get to a shelter or something. Anything is better than enduring that crap.


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

I put myself on the couch, she pissed me off and I refused to share a bed with her, it was symbolic of how close I was to leaving. I can't reclaim it, even though I have my strength back, and have re manned up after her continuous pulling me down. She HATES the fact that I'm standing up to her.

I can't go to a shelter, I have work, and there's only one out here, full of gang members and whinos. (I suppose that would still be better conpany, than a vindictive ***** who treats me like I'm nothing) I don't have the $$ for a hotel or anything.

She was calm and civil yesterday, but that will mean a blow up is imminent. I didn't react at the times she thought I would. Barely spoke a word. I KNOW something is coming, can feel it in me bones!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Carry a VAR with you. Always. Threatening with the cops?
Please, get a VAR and a huge pack of long term batteries.

Beyond sleeping in the couch waht are you doing to get out of thie nightmare?


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

Im in the same exact boat. I called the cops first when she bluffed. 

My phone has a voice recorder, easy to use and has been very helpful in maintaining my proof she flies off the handle. 

If you're on Android look for voice recorder on the market.


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

Yeah I've been recording the conversations on my cellphone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

I read somewhere that deep anger towards a person is as great of a connection as love is. 

So now, instead of connected in love, you are connected with anger. Who in the hell wants that in their life?

I would be out of that house until bedtime. I would get involved in activities that interest me. I would try my best to pretend she simply wasn't there. I would also get another job if at all possible to get out of there as soon as possible!

Good luck to you! Let it go. She doesn't deserve any of your attention.


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

BeenHurt said:


> I put myself on the couch, she pissed me off and I refused to share a bed with her, it was symbolic of how close I was to leaving. I can't reclaim it, even though I have my strength back, and have re manned up after her continuous pulling me down. She HATES the fact that I'm standing up to her.


I've reclaimed the marital bed, I simply laid down before she did. After two nights she's like "I guess you're taking the bed?"

I told her "Yep, the marital bed is for faithful spouses." and rolled over.

She raged and slept on the couch, now she's downstairs in the basement in her little hovel.

Good riddance.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

planbnomore said:


> I told her "Yep, the marital bed is for faithful spouses." and rolled over.


Thats good!! LOL


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

BeenHurt said:


> So outline, she cheated, has been psychotic since, threated calling the police blah blah, we tried "reconciling" had full transparency. I don't want to be with her anymore, and she has angrily said the same. I'm stuck on the couch until I move out, can't do much else as she'll become extremely hostile, and won't think twice about lying to authorities.
> 
> My question is why am I still wanting to look at her messages, she changed the password to view text/call information and I obviously am not going to ask for her phone, there's no point anyway. But I don't like the idea, that this ***** is probably upstairs texting some guy. If she turns around and says, right I'm off out, I don't know how I'll react. She's good, she knows the 2 last things that will cut me up enough to get a reaction or 'bite' from me.
> 
> ...



In addition to the VAR, can you put hidden cameras in the bedroom or any areas where you typically fight. 

It is legal to videotape in your own home. 

I am glad you kicked her out of the marital bed. 

You are so right. The marital bed belongs to the faithful spouse.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Ignore her, go cold and dark, and file for divorce. 

She's gone now emotionally and not the same woman you married. My STBXW did the same. It is not worth your time, effort and sanity to look at her messages. I would save enough of them as evidence for the divorce...if it even matters (No fault ?)


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

Falene said:


> I read somewhere that deep anger towards a person is as great of a connection as love is.
> 
> So now, instead of connected in love, you are connected with anger. Who in the hell wants that in their life?
> 
> ...


:iagree:
*I was thinking the same thing. OP another job might take your mind off the issue. Plus you could save money to get out quicker.I hate this has happened to you. I am wishing you luck with this issue.*


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

:lol:


planbnomore said:


> I've reclaimed the marital bed, I simply laid down before she did. After two nights she's like "I guess you're taking the bed?"
> 
> I told her "Yep, the marital bed is for faithful spouses." and rolled over.
> 
> ...


:lol:


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