# Anybody else do this...think of things to say after the fact??



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I always do this...I find myself after a conversation thinking why did you say that you should have said this, etc. etc...

I always think of something assertive/clever, etc. afterwards in my mind...

I just did it again yesterday..talking with my sister and she said a few things that kind of ticked me off...and afterwards instead of saying this or that at the time...I thought of good things I could have said after..I hate that!!!! 

Anybody else do this?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Oh yes! My spontaneous comment are witty and brilliant. Sadly they come to me long after the conversation where they would have been appropriate.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Oh yes! My spontaneous comment are witty and brilliant. Sadly they come to me long after the conversation where they would have been appropriate.


LOL...exactly

I always think of some witty/appropriate/put them in their place, etc. etc. comment afterwards....


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I was going to post something, but then I figured on the drive home I will think of something more clever I should have posted. And I hate that. :wink2:


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Sometimes it happens, but not often. It's not because I never think of anything to say; it's because I'm conflict-avoidant. 

Witty and caustic comments always come to mind and I think quick on my feet. It's not that I don't have the skill. Oh, boy do I have the skill. In spades. But I don't like to hurt people's feelings even to the detriment of my own. Sick, I know.

Until I FINALLY got a backbone and started standing up for myself. It's a hard hurdle to cross, but once you do it, it feels great.

I've heard the book Verbal Judo bantered about on this forum from time to time. I haven't read it, but I'm thinking about getting it for my BF's 16 yo daughter. Her mother is quick on her feet and sharp with her tongue. 

Maybe the book might benefit you, too?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Absolutely. Very often. If you can categorize the situations that require some witty response, you can get yourself primed to actually say it the next time the opportunity arises. 'If X ever happens, I can say Y.' It's great if you actually get to do it, too.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

I'm pretty quick witted but there are always those times when you replay a conversation in you head and think of a great one liner.

The Seinfeld episode "Jerk Store" is a classic episode that deals with this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oApBlWipc2A


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Of course. It is a well-known phenomenon. Urban Dictionary: staircase wit


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

lucy999 said:


> Sometimes it happens, but not often. It's not because I never think of anything to say; it's because I'm conflict-avoidant.
> 
> Witty and caustic comments always come to mind and I think quick on my feet. It's not that I don't have the skill. Oh, boy do I have the skill. In spades. But I don't like to hurt people's feelings even to the detriment of my own. Sick, I know.
> 
> ...


I will check that book out..thanks!

Yeah I think part of myproblem is I don't think think first I just say something just to say something and then think after...well you kind of let them steamroll over you...or I don't like confrontation so I just back down.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Sometimes I get a little too clever/witty for my own good, and would have been better off not saying anything (or thinking about things to say after the fact) lol.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

kristin2349 said:


> I'm pretty quick witted but there are always those times when you replay a conversation in you head and think of a great one liner.
> 
> [/url]


Hey, I resemble that!


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

All the time. Especially when I've had to reply to a sarcastic email or text from my exH. Next time I'm going to wait a few hours before replying as I usually would reply straight away if he has ticked me off.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Normal cognitive processes...


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

john117 said:


> Normal cognitive processes...


Yes but I know people that always seem to say the right thing at the right time....how do they do that?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Yes.. after the fact.. I could kick myself sometimes... wishing I had "went there"..... but then other times.. I can go too far.. saying too much.. and wish I had shut my mouth too.. 

Then other times, it's like everything just flowed beautifully...it's hit or miss... 

Very common that we'll replay a conversation.. thinking "dang it! - should have said this or that !"...


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

highwood said:


> I always do this...I find myself after a conversation thinking why did you say that you should have said this, etc. etc...
> 
> I always think of something assertive/clever, etc. afterwards in my mind...
> 
> ...


YES! Don't you HATE that?!

Though I'm happy to say that at this point in my life I'm seldom exposed to people who say things for which I need a comeback.

Regarding your sister: While you can never know in advance exactly what she'll say, she probably has certain themes that she uses to try hurt/irritate you. So think up some good generic insults/come backs - things you can say to her that will take her down a notch and keep them in mind, ready to whip out when the opportunity presents itself, which it eventually will. ;-)


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

highwood said:


> Yes but I know people that always seem to say the right thing at the right time....how do they do that?


Practice and preparation. 

Or, you can follow my approach (ADHD) and randomize / generalize enough of your response so that it sounds good if slightly irrelevant 😂


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I have two problems...

The witty/smartass comments that I should have made usually come to mind minutes/hours later.

The comments that should NEVER have been made flow out of my mouth before I even realize it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Here's the thing. Witty responses are overrated. I'm the grand master of wit, and not very modest about it 😂 but in reality you really don't accomplish much.

The second case can be mitigated by measured responses. Not all out wars of words. And with lot of preparation.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Chris Taylor said:


> I have two problems...
> 
> The witty/smartass comments that I should have made usually come to mind minutes/hours later.
> 
> _*The comments that should NEVER have been made flow out of my mouth before I even realize it.*_


LOL - Yep.


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