# DDAY3 over a year later...



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

Well, I was right. There was more. 

DDAY1 - He confessed he kissed a model in a bar 8 years prior on a business trip. This was after years of me worrying about a couple coworkers and a positive HPV test. 

DDAY2 - After a month of this he confessed there was no kissing at all, but a drunken BJ from a model they had used on the business trip. His coworker screwed her first. He claims to have never seen her again. (I was told this after threatening a poly.)

DDAY3 - After a year of watching me suffer, he confesses to more. Once again after threat of poly. She was a coworker (Although from a different location, so I didn't know her.) and he remained friends with her after, including having her on MySpace while putting up pics of me and our children. She knew he was married and had small kids. She was 20!!! Story is roughly the same, but it was in a different city and during a workshop they attended for a full week. His coworker screwed her first, then he got the BJ. This was after hanging out with her all week and that night going to the hotel bar and getting wasted. 

The worst?!? I had found a message to this girl five years after the fact that he was coming into town (She had since moved.) and he hoped to see her. I wondered who the hell is she? I confronted him and he told me it was just networking. I still have the message. He was home from work taking care of me from a surgery I had. How cruel is that?!? So I was upstairs in bed while he was downstairs sending her this message. 

Sooo, he had zero remorse. Zero. 
Poly is still on and he is now staying with his parents. 
Our girls (who are now teens) are very stressed. 
I sent this girl a message, very nice given the circumstances. Asking for help so I could get some closure and peace. She didn't reply so in turn I sent her a message letting her know exactly how I felt about her. Felt great! 

So who knows about the other two coworkers I worried about. I caught a message to one asking to meet her for drinks while he was out of town (She had moved away. Ironically to same city he got his BJ in!) and I got another coworker he has admitted was basically an EA. 

Questions on poly -
Have you had sexual intercourse with anyone besides your wife during your marriage? (I got HPV somehow!) 
Have you had any sexual contact with anyone that your wife does not know about?
And have you had sexual contact with the perosn you call *&%^& more than once?

He seems to be confident he'll pass. He keeps telling me it was just the one time and was only the BJ. I think the questions should cover that. Regardless, he was cheating in his heart. He should have been avoiding that girl like the plague if he had any remorse in him at all. 

I think I'm most hurt he contacted this girl five years later. I was trying to forgive the drunken BJ, thinking he was in the wrong place at the wrong time (Turns out his coworker had been with this girl before.). But now... How is this even salvageable? 

I was crushed the other day to see my oldest daughter crying. 17 years of marriage, 20 years together and half were lies. You never really know someone, do you?


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

I think the truth is you probably after a long time DO know someone very very well but we often get ourselves, through love and trust, into the place of not wanting to lift up that dark stone and have a look underneath it for fear of what we knows is really there

At first you will react with you didn't really know them but once you start thinking about them back over the years you 'll start to realize a few things 

imo anyway


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Ain't trickle truth a b!tch!! I have a feeling that there is more to this story. Go ahead with the poly


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## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

Yes, trickle truth is a real b!tch! Funny, all the articles I gave him about trickle truth. Yet, he continued to do it for a year. I knew, I knew. 

I'm bummed I couldn't ask about kissing, but examiner said he doesn't like using that question. Makes sense, though. 

His original story was he kissed a girl. Now he says that was a lie. Guess I'll never know the truth on that one. 

I've sunken back into a deep depression rather quickly. And after a year of this he has no compassion. I can't get over him sending a message to this girl five years later. It has just about finished me off.


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