# Would The Bother Anyone Else? Am I Paranoid?



## The Devoted One (Dec 21, 2011)

Would it bother you if your husband was buying gifts for work and he bought special bath sets for two ladies he works closely with without telling you or asking you to pick it up like he usually does? Keep in mind that they are Christmas-y, but he was going to say it was just from him, not from the family.

Is it inappropriately intimate for a married man to give a woman bath products? Is it okay?


----------



## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

Was it just those bath sets he was going to say were just from him or all the gifts for work he was getting?

Personally it is not OK for my husband to buy bath products for another woman or really any gift that I don't get a say in especially if he's trying to pass it off as a just from him gift.

A few years ago he attempted to buy a valentines day card for a female friend he had known for a long time and she got him a birthday gift so he felt he had to get her something(he felt bad cause she got him concert tickets and he never picked them up to use) I asked him if he was out of his mind. He said he has gotten cards for female friends before, I said " yeah in grammar school everyone gets a card, but you are grown in a relationship you dont get valentines day cards for women you arent involved with/interested in it sends the wrong message". He put the card down. That was the first and last time that happened.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

no it's weird.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Hopefully these two women will see that they got pretty much the same gift from him and understand he is just creepy and weird. I'd let it go, if there's a possibility of this. Because personally I would find it funny. If they see that they each got pretty much the same thing, they will both think he is just a very odd and inappropriate person and neither one of them will want anything to do with him personally and be creeped out and stay far away from him. Either that or just suggest they all have a big bubble bath together. Chalk it up as something that men just don't get. If you explained it to him and he doesn't get it, and he doesn't want to change his behavior because of your legitimate feelings about feeling awkward about it (I would too!) and you don't want to take the chance on both ladies seeing the other ladies' gift (which I think would be funny), then him not respecting your feelings is an entirely DIFFERENT matter than the inappropriate and misplaced and tragic gift giving behavior.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

The Devoted One said:


> Would it bother you if your husband was buying gifts for work and he bought special bath sets for two ladies he works closely with without telling you or asking you to pick it up like he usually does? Keep in mind that they are Christmas-y, but he was going to say it was just from him, not from the family.
> 
> Is it inappropriately intimate for a married man to give a woman bath products? Is it okay?


The fact he was buying something wouldn't bother me, but the fact he was #1 ...hiding it from me....I would think ..WHY?.....and #2 it was from "him" and not "us" , since all the people at his work know me that would be Odd, as we always give gifts as a couple -or a family. 

For our marriage, that would be totally out of character, so yeah, very strange. But the buying, not really- we do all of that together, or me doing these things while he is at work, I get the lists. Or even what it is , wouldn't bother me, as it is a "lady " thing, it was not like it was "flavored lube" or anything. 

Is he buying for men too I wonder ?


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I may have misunderstood here... So forgive me if I have... But it doesn't seem all that strange to me...

Bath sets are a common "I don't know what you like and don't want to spend a bunch of money" kind of gift. I would have more of a problem if the gifts were more thought-out, more personal and really showed how well he knew them.

As for not saying they are from the family and just saying they are from him... Let him be the one to go down for "bad" gifts!!  In all seriousness... If he had usually said "from us" it WOULD really bother me.

That said - anything that makes you feel uncomfortable I'm sure has validity and should be discussed. What does he say?

Do you know the women he has bought gifts for?


----------

