# Son's "Army Wife"



## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

hi all , just a quick note here . a freind of mine's son had something happen so i thought i'd post this and see what your reactions were. this story is true but i've changed the names for privacy reasons.

My son, the eldest , who is in the Army,,,found out that his wife of 8 years,,,,has cleaned him out financially,,she is seeing other men,,,,,,and she has no remorse for her actions.

Needless to say, my son is gutted, over the past 4 months ,I personally have talked him out of suicide 3 times...and so has other people, 

I am hoping he is over the worse part of it......"the finding out",,,now he is just trying to pay off all the debts she created, and trying to save his home, and his classic Chevelle.

Material things, I know, but it is keeping him , busy, and focused,,,,trying to keep his mind off of his 6 year old son.....who is thinking, every Tom, **** & Harry, through the door, is his NEW Daddy.

I am thankful, he is now stationed in Kuwait, still a WarZone, however not as volitaile as Baghdad, or Afganastan..

chad is my son's name,,,,yes from the bible,,,,,,for many reasons,,,that happened throughout my pregnancy with him . 

chad, was to be my, preacher son, my minister in the family,,,,he is the most God fearing (I HATE THAT PHRASE) selfless person, child I have.

He is an old soul,,,,wise beyond his years.....when it comes to men in my life, he is right up there with my father.

The whole situation is still raw........he has filed for divorce,,,,he has given her over 8 months,,,,,to resolve their (HER) problems,,,,and to start over......but her single life is more important to her. 

The "ARMY WIFE" story you read is very true.....so sobering, to actually read it in print.....

chad bought a home,,outside of the base,,,so there are many other "Army families"......on this street,,,,,,8 out of 10 homes, the hubbys are stationed overseas,,,,,,and all, YES, ALL of the wives, have a 'PARTY PACT", it is disgusting.

These men, are overseas,,most in "PRIME" War Zones, and their wives are back home , spending the High risk (extra pay) salaries, and bonus,,they are receiving,,for risking their lives everyday....

To think , that 8 out of 10 are doing this to their husbands, and they think they are invincible,,,that their husbands are stupid, and think they will not be caught. 

chad, only has the one son,,and now, he is even worried for his welfare, because the mother is out running around all the time, and the boy, is left, where ever, and with who ever will watch the boy, when she parties. 

chad, fulfilled his contract with the US ARMY 4 years ago, but his wife, found him, this job,,,with a Security company, where he would have to remain in, Baghdad,and now Kuwait,,,as back up for the US forces, and guard the US bases...It is high risk, high profile, and high security......everyday, he has no less than 5 weapons on his person, at all times.

There has to be something done, what kind of culture is this,,,the wives, keep their men,,in these types of jobs,,,,FOR THE MONEY, however, they are spending all the money with their other girlfriends......and their husbands are like walking time bombs. 

I think I have chad, over the suicide watch, and believing, that his son is his priority......and he does have so much to live for...

Now,the past week,,,,,,she wants chad back,,,and thankfully, he told her,,,,NO, to go on with her pathetic life, and forget that he ever loved her. 

I am in so much pain for this boy.....

Yes, the "retreats" are very real......when chadtook 6 weeks ,Emergency leave in Jan/Feb, to go home, and try to patch up his marriage, she actually had another man living in his house,,,,,,when he got there, she left with t he boyfriend,,,,,,and left her son with chad,,,for the six weeks, she only saw her son for a total of 4 hours,,,,,,and when it was time for chad to return to Kuwait,,,he had to leave the son,,,,with HER mother, because , she and the girlfriends,,,,were on a 6 day trip to some kind of Dude Ranch in Montana.......go figure,,,chad pleaded with her not to go,,,,,4 of her "friends" live on their street. 

chad is going to fulfill his contract with this security company,,,which is until August of this year....and then return stateside..his mortgage should have been paid off,,,,,,6 months ago,,,,,,,which is 11 years early,,however he found out he is 4 months in arrears......

So he is paying for all her debts, cause everything is in his name,,,,,so he wants to try to pay off all of the debts before he returns home, 

yep she's a real sweet heart this one is (not)


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## ilovetexas (Jun 2, 2008)

i saw your post and thought i might give a quick reply
i am so sorry for all the pain your family is going through
i dont normally post much here i just read what other people have gone through and it has helped me w/ my marriage problems
it made me terribly sad to read what you wrote and i have seen first hand exactly what you described and it makes me sick
you see i am an army wife of 15 years. i have been there for my husband through 2 deployments and he is about to be deployed again.this will be his fourth deployment in all
i guess i just wanted to say not all military wives act that way, and those of us who dont avoid the women who act like that
i will say a prayer for your son and your family and i hope things get better


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

I hope you get the names of all those skanks, and will let their husbands know about what they've been up to.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

flipper66

I am so sorry for your sons hardships.
But I have so say flipper, that saying that All Army or military wives do the party thing, and the using thing while their husbands are overseas, is unfair, untrue, and a Huge generalization.

I was an Air Force wife, and my Husband is the One who went over to Korea, for a one year remote tour, and as you know, I and his daughter couldn't go... We moved in with my Mom, and I started up college full time again... I was raising our child, doing Right, Being a GOOD wife.... while he went over there and PARTIED his A** off.... took all our money so that I couldn't pay our bills at all, started sleeping with one of the filipino girls that was over there "working"

eventually got to the point where he was Taking his WHOLE paycheck,,,, and supporing his Girlfriend with it, instead of His WIFE and CHILD.... He didn't call his own child... essentially forgot we even exsisted, because he was far too busy Partying and visiting Brothels... and yes, I have proof, he was stupid enough to charge it to our credit card.... which was MAXED out only 3 months after he arrived there...

So you see? Your statement is just so false it is very insulting to all military wives that Loved their hubby's and did what was Right while they did whatever they pleased over seas...

My current hubby, used to be in the Army... US special Forces,, he was a Green Beret.... 

As a commander, he saw Far more men, screwing around on their wives,,, than wives messing with their husbands.

I think you have every right to be angry with your son's wife. But your assertion that All Army/Military wives have a "party pact" is just totally off base.

Please know that plenty of military wives, did do, and still do , the right thing when their husbands are over seas... Your son got involved with a bad woman... Not all women are like this....


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Sorry Marina, but you are wrong. In many field of operations our troops are sent, there are no women to cheat with. That is just a fact. When all military wives have access to other men here in the states. I'll give you some examples. jibutti Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan, Alaska. There might be female military there, but they are not going to do every man there. But wives have the time, freedom and males available. This is just a fact.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

flipper66 said:


> I am thankful, he is now stationed in Kuwait, still a WarZone, however not as volitaile as Baghdad, or Afganastan..


Kuwait really isn't a war zone, I know its far from home and married soldiers have to go unaccompanied, but still its basically a garrison. 



flipper66 said:


> These men, are overseas,,most in "PRIME" War Zones, and their wives are back home , spending the High risk (extra pay) salaries, and bonus,,they are receiving,,for risking their lives everyday....


I'd really take that with a grain of salt, my experience is with the British not the US army. But I've worked with US military personal and I know that their welfare systems are pretty similar. And if there's problems related to the misuse of pay and allowance then the army welfare should be your son's first port of call.



flipper66 said:


> To think , that 8 out of 10 are doing this to their husbands, and they think they are invincible,,,that their husbands are stupid, and think they will not be caught.


Again I don't really think that 8 out of 10 is an accurate picture.



flipper66 said:


> his wife, found him, this job,,,with a Security company, where he would have to remain in, Baghdad,and now Kuwait,,,as back up for the US forces, and guard the US bases...It is high risk, high profile, and high security......everyday, he has no less than 5 weapons on his person, at all times.


Private security on the camps is not arduous and in Kuwait at least its not especially dangerous. The camps are basically little cities there is some risk when they're on the gate (in Iraq not kuwait) but inside the camp its perfectly safe and if people have personal weapons with them then they're unloaded.



flipper66 said:


> There has to be something done, what kind of culture is this,,,the wives, keep their men,,in these types of jobs,,,,FOR THE MONEY, however, they are spending all the money with their other girlfriends......and their husbands are like walking time bombs.


You seem to have a bit of a complex about army wives? anyway life in the military (and if you're a wife you are essentially in the military) is completly different from being a civvie. I think a stranger looking at it can come to the wrong conclussion.



flipper66 said:


> I think I have chad, over the suicide watch, and believing, that his son is his priority......and he does have so much to live for...


If you're son is a suicide risk then you need to make his chain of command aware of it. The army have procedures that they can put in place.


I think from reading your post you need to reasses exactly what's going on with him. The relationship has broken down, which happens in the military. When I was in the army it pretty much was the end of every relationship I was in untill I left. Your son needs to get a grip of himself start thinking logically and put his life back together.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

infortheduration... you're naive... would you like to chat with my current husband? He was in the Army for 17 years... a very long time, he was enlisted, joined special forces.. Green Beret... then became an Officer. He has been everything from a team commander to a , to a company commander, chief of staff... He knows what he's talking about. Because HE was the one having to stop stupid men in the Army from cheating, and doing stupid crap while they were over seas.. as for your assertion that men in places like Afganistan, Jibhutti, etc... You Don't Actually believe that these men and women in the military aren't screwing each other, do you? LOL.... Married men And women in the Military, go over seas,,, and they have sex. This is a fact. My husband I'd say knows a Tad bit more than you, about what Truly goes on in the Army, and what stupid things soldiers do, when they are stationed, overseas, whether it's a place like Kuwait, or Korea.

And you don't think there are Groupies... in those countries you listed? That is a naive notion. They are everywhere. And men that are horny, will screw a persian woman, asian, it doesn't matter. You saying there are no "women" over in these places for them to have sex with, is simply not true. My husband has been all over the world... Asia, Turkey, Middle East, Europe, UK.... Girls that want to do the deed with soldiers are EVERYWHERE.... and , sexual affairs amongst women and men soldiers is VERY VERY common... What planet are you from? LOL....


My ex was in the Airforce... he cheated, he abused me, he went to Korea, and got himself into a world of trouble,,, used his paycheck to support his girlfriend, who got pregnant,, He almost got an Article 15. All the while, I was back in the USA , being a good wife, raising our 2 year old daughter, who he never spoke to again, once he was there it was like we had never even exsisted. 

You make very inaccurate assumptions...

Do you know how many soldiers my Current Husband has had to reprimand, for cheating on their wives, while over seas????? You clearly have No clue. Sorry , but in this case YOU are the one who is wrong....


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Marina,

Daughter Sgt, 2nd tour in Iraq.

I agree with you.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Also.. 

Sarah is correct when she says that 8 out of 10 is quite a ridiculous number. The fact is, people in the military are no different than any other human being. some cheat, some don't... period. That would be like saying that just because Sarah was in the Army, that she cheated, or that hands down if she had been married at the time, her hubby would have cheated. You just can't put people in the military into categories like that, like all wives cheat, all soldiers cheat... that just is not accurate...it's pretty much like any other human being, some will cheat , and some won't..... 

Oh, and Last time I checked, infortheduration... Alaska had plenty of girls.... ???


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Reid....tell your daughter thank you for her service to our country. And cheers to you also Sarah!


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

The notion that male and female soldiers go on a shagging frenzy while on tour in Iraq and afghan is largely a myth.

The main reason it doesn't happen is lack of oppurtunity, privacy is very limited, sure it does happen but most of my mates just bit the bullet and resigned themselves to having to keep their knees together for 6 months. Another reason is that its unprofessional and it just causes tremendous bad feeling, i do know women that have put out while on tour and it didn't work out well for them.

It's different for the US military because their tours are a year, they get operational stand down in kuwait and qatar where there is a lot of shagging but again females are in a minority. I did a weekend there and my head was spinning from the amount of blokes that tried to pull me. But as it tends to be between people in different units their nothing wrong with it.

The military isn't really conductive to monogamy, people are young and they can't just put their sex lifes on hold.

I joined the army when I was 16 I finished training when I was 17 and got posted to germany. My then bf was back in the UK. Now I really did love the guy to bits but I wasn't prepare to go 2 or 3 months in between seeing him. Though rather than cheating I just ended it, rather than than trying to maintain a relationhip that was going to turn bad eventually.

Anyway I think some of the stuff written in this thread is a little extreme and not really based on reality.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

well, Sarah... my original comment to flipper, was that not all Army/military wives screw around on their hubby's when they are overseas...
infortheduration said that soldiers that go overseas, don't have access to women or men, to have sex with. This, I'm afraid is the myth....

I never said that All soldiers that go overseas have sex without limits.... What I said, was that plenty of married soldiers whether male or female... will cheat while overseas,, and Plenty of single soldiers.... will find either prostitutes,,, base groupies.. or other soldiers to fraternize with...

This is a fact.. My husband used to be in the Army... for a long time... and has had command over at the highest, 350 soldiers at one time.... joint task force....

Everyone likes to say that the "opportunity" doesn't present itself... Well, I've got news for you... you don't have to have candles and a warm bed to make love in.

My husband once had to reprimand one of his soldiers.. for having sex with a female soldier,,, guess where they were going it??

In a Dumpster..... 

People that are horny enough, or want sex badly enough, will do it ANYWHERE..... Overseas or stateside. to think otherwise is just plain naive.... bathrooms, closets.. dumpsters, offices, tents, back ally ... aircraft... cars... back of military trucks... etc...

And, to think that just because someone is in a middle eastern country, or Africa, or some other more remote place, that there are not any prostitutes, or groupies... or at the very least, civilians working on the base, that are willing and wanting to have sex... is again.. naive.

I am not saying that soldiers fill every second of their days with sex... but, the opportunity for sex, is Always there, no matter where a soldier is... 

And my original point was only that all military wives, don't cheat while their men are over seas... I was one that was doing what she was supposed to, and my man was the one who went to Korea and messed around...


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Marina, You call me naive. Lets go down the list. And see who's naive

1. Military actually get punished for having sex over seas.

2. Wives states side don't get punished.

3. Military men over seas out number women by a better then 10 to one margin.

4. Wives states side are numerically superior to men here by only 2%. Just about equal.

5. Military men under deployment. Have long periods where they are away from population centers. So there is no access.

6. Wives stateside have ample free time to pursue partying or what ever they want.

7. Iraq, Kuwait, and afghanistan are. Islamic countries. THEY STONE PROSTITUTES AND ADULTEROUS WOMEN.

8. Wives here operate in complete freedom to cheat.




And last but not least. Exactly where did the term "Dear John" letter come from? It came from women writing their boyfriends and husbands who were at war and deployed. These letters went to the men not from the men. I leave it to the board to decide. Of course I would like to see any points you would like to make, refuting what I have said. 

Oh and I was navy stationed over seas. And I can tell you that I never once heard of a man sending his girlfriend or wife a Dear John letter. There was plenty of men who spoke about their letters. THE FACT IS. MEN OVER SEAS NEED THEIR WIVES AND GIRLFRIEND TEN TIMES MORE BECAUSE THEY ARE ALONE IN A FOREIGN LAND. DOING A THANKLESS JOB. THEY NEED THE SUPPORT. THEY WOULD NOT END THEIR SUPPORT FROM HOME WILLINGLY, IN 99% OF CASES.

So in closing, I would have to say that you clearly do not know that of which you speak. Refute my claims if you can.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

yes, I know they get punished.... I just said that my current hubby has had to punish countless soldiers.... you didn't read my post. clearly.

I also said that my Ex husband, also got punished... for cheating on me, for using his paycheck to support his "girlfriend" who got knocked up while he was in Korea..... again.. I guess you don't read my posts... 

You're right dude.. I have no clue, having been married to someone in the Air force, and actually ended up having the BASE commander in OSAN on My side, he gave my ex hubby a Direct order not to call me anymore, becuase even after the divorce, while he was still in Korea, he was calling me asking me for money, to pay for his girlfriends Visa, so that she didn't have to go back to the Phillippines....

My Current Husband Was in the Army for 17 YEARS , was enlisted, Special Forces, been ALL over the world... Became an OFFICER... Was still a Green beret at this point.... He has been there, and here and everywhere. He's been the soldier, the commander... My brother in law is in the NAVY , he can confirm what I say.

You have to realize something,,, I never said that ALL Men or Women in the military do this... You made a point, that was baseless. And I think you are basing it on what YOU would or would not do... not on reality. 

There ARE prostitutes in middle eastern countries MY Gosh, where have you been? LOL.... they are EVERYWHERE... 

ON a ship? Nope, probly not, but that is a totallly different story.
but if you think that sailors are not doing each other on the ship.... then yes,,, you're a bit naive....

You have to also remember.. that the VAST majority of soldiers/airmen/sailors/marines etc..... are sent to duty stations like Asia, Latin America... etc..... not to a war zone... which by the way, Kuwait is not. It's not a war zone... Hubby has beenthere many times.....

prostitution is most Definitely available in middle eastern countries... you're not facing reality. I never said that men were going to have sex with Married Muslim women... LOL... 

and as I pointed out... soldiers the vast majority of the time, whether male or female.... will seek out sex with other soldiers... 

if you think doing it in a dumpster, as I said my husband has Caught people doing this... takes time and privacy... well, you're again... not facing reality.

short of shooting a gun and working a shift in Iraq where there is very little time for sex.... the other places soldiers go, the opportunity is ALWAYS there.. and it's there in Iraq too! Not everyone is on the front lines in Iraq.... you must realize that.

But whatever dude... My current husband was a MAJOR when he got out of the Army, he broke his back in a sky diving excersize and then joined the reserves for a couple years,,, before he got sick of the political game that is prevelant in the reserves and guard... and then got out alltogether...

He knows FAR more than YOU about how the Army works... I'd stake my life on that one... 

Goodbye...

I do remmeber you reading the riot act to a poor poster name JDPreacher.... geez... felt sorry for him, and now I see how unreasonable you really are....

take care.....


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

As far as JD Preacher. You should feel sorry for him. His arguments were insulting and pathetic. And taking him to task for calling cato a boorish a$$ because he as issue when he wants to hold his cheating wife accountable, was in defense of a betrayed spouse. JD Preacher was into demonizing the victim and defending the cheater. 

We have gone round before Marina, lets just agree to disagree.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

thanks for all the responses , but whoa to a load off will ya. if you read the first sentence of this thread it says this is a close freind of mine's son , not mine. this is a note that i've reposted here with consent from her to get feedback from. to see what if anything can be done to get him straightened out.
all statements made where statements made by the boys (chad the made up name) mother. as far as saying that all military wives do this would be ludricus and dumb to say. because there are many that stay fathful to their husbands.

stop and think about thisd one statement that my freind makes about her sons wife.
just before his tour isd over she (note she finds him a lucerative paying job there were he is , not someplace near home were he could be with her) so most likely the cheating and partying was going on after he was sent over seas for his final two years in the service. 
the fact that when he got home she took off with the boyfreind
and then just before his leave was up went of with aty least 4 of the 8 other woman that live on the street they live on to go to the 
dude ranch in montana. and wasn't even back when he left and he had to leave his son with his wifes mother.

myself i'm doing research for a fictional story on just something like this and viewing all these threads give me input as to possible story plots.

thanks again for all the posts though flipper66


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

these men do actually need that support system. my freinds son found out that he didn't have that support system and he was suicidal for awhile. 
i agree not all men/women in the service go out to cheat on their spouses/girlfreinds. unfortuanatly some do. 
as you said in these foreingn countries it is a mortal sin to their religion to be caught in fornication/adultry/having sex outside of marriage if single.

the primary thing here though is the fact that military service people weither men/women need that support system. if not there
the kind of things that happen to my freinds son happens.

myself i'm ex airforce from days of the 1960's if you get my drift.
62 at present was just a young guy then. the women at home as you said feel free to basically do what ever they want when they want (note here before i get a fire bomb not all women/men depending whose the one overseas. because there are married women over there whose husbands are doing basically the same thing that my freinds son's wife was doing) with thaty said maybe this web page may make it another day without being in meltdown from the flaming heat lol.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

the story here is very real just the names changed so to protect those that might get hurt that are not guilty of any wrong doings.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

this man married a sl*t... not all women , or military wives are like this. my story was the opposite.. my air force husband did even worse to me... that was my only original point.

to be true, when I met my current hubby at church... and he said "I used to be in the Army,, special forces" I almost Ran the other way LOL...

I didn't want to get mixed up with another military, or ex military man, but then I thought,,, not all men in the military are lying cheating pieces of crap.. like my ex husband had been... and he, my new husband turned out to be the most sweet, gentle, non-cheating man.

just as this is true, not all military wives will cheat, spend money, and ruin their soldiers lives... it's all in who you pick.

let us know if you publish your book.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

let me ask you a question here , if this 2nd husband (just supposing here trip in fantasy of time travel lets say. would you say if you were in high school again and he was attending your school you'd even give him the time of day. the reason why i ask this is that i've finding out that many women when young seem to go for the (term here is lossely used here but covers a large area of types of outgoing men "jerks" who seem to sweep the girls off their feet to start out with but winds up cheating on them with either another girl or several other girls (which we sometimes nowadays refer to as a player) ok now that i've laid the ground work for the question 
i see you call him sweet ,gentle and i'm adding this here may or may not apply but most likly does "possibly shy to some extent which most girls at the high school level do not exactly want as boyfreind material . but as the girl/woman matures (gets mature this also means they can mature rather quickly as it seem you may have and go for the shy,quiet,sweet nice guy. 
is this possible that what attracted you possibly was the quiet ,gentle ,sweet ,and possibly shy man that your 2nd hubby is now?
just wondering because i've post here that i'm thinking on writing a story about some of this input. not exact stuff but scenarios or similar type things.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

my first hubby, was someone I had known since the age of 12,, we graduated highschool and then met up again at the age of 19... he joined the Air Force and we got married, in 1994, I was only 20 almost 21.... too young when I look back. We waited a while to have kids... I was 23 when I had my daughter in 1997...

Well, long story short. My ex was the proverbial Hunk... tall, very good looking, muscles,,, very macho... although I have to say he didn't know how to fix anything, not the handy type. I had to do Everything. he couldn't even change a tire.. Okay, back to the subject.

He was also physically abusive, had no college... we just came from two different backgrounds, which is why we had very little in common... while I was more the learned type, that wanted to see a ballet, opera, or read a lot... he is the type that is not into that kind of thing... not that this is bad, just that we were too different I think to really be compatible long term... i guess the thrill of being a new wife, and him being so good looking, I just didn't think longer term... and didn't realize he could be so violent.

At any rate, he got orders to Korea when our daughter was about 19 months old, in 1999, Osan... we thought the time apart would help us, and that maybe when he got back, we'd have another child. We parted on very good terms, said our love yous and goodbyes... our daughter was 20 months old.... He never saw his daughter again. Not by my choice, he didn't even bother to try and see her till December 2006 when she was 9 1/2 years old. Needless to say, she couldn't care less about him. I tried to foster a relationship between them for years, but he never made it a priority to come see her.

He did so many things while in Korea that I cant' even begin to lay it out, it would take hours... suffice it to say,,, he almost got an Article 15, got his "girlfriend" pregnant,,, spent all his paycheck on her, a Serious no no in the military,, he got in trouble for child/wife abandonment.... was visiting brothels... etc..

I dumped him. It wasn't hard.

Years go by and I'm in church where I now live... and there is a guy there, very sweet natured, always kind to me,, we knew each other for a year, before we ever even spoke more than a "good morning" or "how are you"... I was in a relationship with someone else, and so was he.

But, in the summer of 2004, after I dumped that man, another disfunctional freak , I was single again, and looking very good if I do say so myself... he asked me out, he is 10 years older than me, and I just was not into dating anyone, so I said no.

He continued to pursue me, baked me things, called me.. (he got my number from the church directory) but not creepy.. always very respectful.

I was 30 he was 39.5.... Anyway, I finally relented, in November of 2004 and we went out, our first date was a Barnes and Noble book store. We had coffee and talked.... but we had become fast friend over the summer months. Two or three weeks after we began truly dating, I was head over heels.

But, one time , when the whole church had gone out to lunch,,, this was soon after the first time he asked me out but before our first date... he sat next to me, and was talking about his past Army experience. At that point, I had had no idea he had even been in the Army, I thought he was just a teacher/vice prinicpal at a school (his second career, after the army)

But when I found out he had been in Special Forces, and that he was in for that long, 17 years... my first impulse was, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL...

At that point we still didn't know each other well, and I didn't want another military, or even Ex military boyfriend. But, over the months, he showed me how intelligent, articulate, handy (the man can fix Anything, and I mean Anything, that is soooo sexy) cultured, and well rounded he was. And it turned out, that we had a huge amount in common, same type personality, we enjoyed a lot of the same things.... and he was so kind to me, something I had not had in a long time.

I was much older this time around, not that I'm old, or that 30 was old, just that I was a bit smarter about who I chose to give my attentions to. He is also very handsome, but I wouldn't give him God status... he's just your average , sweet southern boy... 
When he told me some of the stories and related to me some of the things he had done, to include taking another's life, (much of what he did he still cannot tell me, classified, but he did work counter terrorism..before that idiot clinton decided it was okay to have terrorists) in the Army... I wondered if he'd be the type to go psycho one day and just flip on me... but he never has... he has so much patience, it's mind boggling.... very well grounded.. which is a necessity in his line of work. He is a vice principal in a very low income, high crime middle school... and the kids have attacked him, spit on him, cussed him.... He always keeps his cool, just puts them in a restraining hold, and this way he controls them without injuring them. (he's got a blackbelt in judo and aikido, this comes in handy)

Anyway, I know he would never do the things that my ex husband did. With our son, he is the epitome of patience and love, so much so that it's heart wrenching. So, now I know that not all men that are , or were in the military are alike.... and yes... his gentle nature most definitely attracted me...

Anyway, yes, I was young and stupid when I married my first hubby... the only reason I don't totally regret it, is of course because I have my daughter.


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

There are certain things with this story that don't ring true for me, and I think its starting to give a very distorted impression of military life.

First off and most importantly if there was any hint that he might be suicidal or on 'suicide watch' as the original poster described it, the army would step in, in a heartbeat. They have extremely elaborate procedure for dealing with suicide risks and they wouldn't involve posting him to Kuwait. Kwait incidently is not a war zone

When a soldier is on deployment, wives usually fit into the army welfare system. they typically live on military estates and they have a whole range of friends and neigbours who's spouses are also on deployement. Military wives do occassionally shag around but the notion that its somehow acceptable is ridiculous.

I don't know how his wife went about getting him a job in Kuwait doing security, but as he was based out there I'm inclined to think that it was something he was more in a position to look into than she was.

There have been a lot of fantastical statement made on here that aren't really helpful, ranging from widespread marital infidelity among miltary wives, to shagging around on deployment (which trust me is really hard to do).To be honest it all has a soap opera tinge to it. I think people reading this thread should exercise their judgement about how factual a lot of the statements that have been made are.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

well, after rereading the very first thread started by the original poster, I did have to wonder if it was trolling...


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

sarah.rslp said:


> there are certain things with this story that don't ring true for me, and i think its starting to give a very distorted impression of military life.
> 
> First off and most importantly if there was any hint that he might be suicidal or on 'suicide watch' as the original poster described it, the army would step in, in a heartbeat. They have extremely elaborate procedure for dealing with suicide risks and they wouldn't involve posting him to kuwait. Kwait incidently is not a war zone
> 
> ...


ok ,he at this time is not in the service but working for a security company that works for the military.
At the base i work at here in florida we have a civilian 
security force that works in tandom with the military police. So hopefully that explains why he wasn't curtailed by the military. However to say he was most likly watched heavily by his employers.
My freind (who is his mother) says that others besides herself did alot of work in that during the first little while after him finding out. Please keep him in prayer.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

no ,i'm not trolling as you put it.

the mother of the boy mentioned in this post was my girlfreind 
way back in 1966 . we're just freinds now living thousands of miles apart. she told me of her sons plight and i'm concerned .
i've researched the topic and found that this is not uncommon in the military. it seems it takes it's toll on both males and females alike that serve in our military. yes i'm researching for story material and writing a story that i hope will help some of our military (hero's in my books who gives us the freedom to do what we are doing now) people. some of the input as far as suggestions will likely be used as freinds or family members trying to give my character advice on what he should do or how they think he should handle the situation. 

you know even those that post negatively here may have some of their comments in the story as a freind or family member expressing their particular views. hey it happens in real life .
you have the jerks who make dumb remarks and try to be as 
much of a jerk as they can by snide remarks. and then you have everything inbetween to the truly compassionate freind or family member.


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## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

one other thing the story i related here came directly from the mother of the boy(my ex-girlfreind from highschool) i copy and pasted the story ,then edited the name . so its her words i used not mine. i'm sorry that some of you think this story is made up,unfortuanatly its not. as far as being a war zone were he's at no not as dangerous as some other places. but they still use security guards to protect the bases from intruders who would love to cause trouble. i work at a military base and know what can happen if they decide to shut down the base for a security reason. if you read the original post you'll see that she says not as dangerous as other places. my concern is that some here jump into the middle or do not take enough time to read the posts correctly. 
not intending to make anyone here angery or upset but the first few who post thought he was my son which he isn't. i clearly stated he was the son of a freind. don't beleive me go back to the original post and read it slowly and then the first 4 or five posts.
so before you make judgments on or about my posting this story make sure you read thouroughly the complete original post. and or any others i posted giving explainations such as this one.


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## MissKitty (May 12, 2009)

So the son is a contractor through the military. He won't be put on suicide watch, or anything like that. Because he is a civilian now. As for the wife, she's probably getting revenge. Immature, sure... To each their own. I'm a military wife and my husband has been gone four times out of the 2 years we've been married. I've never cheated, emotionally or physically. I know of women that do, even while their husbands are home. With certain jobs in the military, like my husbands, they don't see action just the aftermath. He was in Qatar, which is an r&r base. They have a swimming pool, movie theatre...and so on. A lot of cheating can and does take place there. Either way, deployments make both parties vulnerable. If someone is that weak minded it will happen sooner or later.


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## Shelby (Nov 20, 2008)

My husband was in the Navy for 22 years, a retired Master Chief if you will, and I doubt very seriously that "he was doing another man" while deployed. My Lord, ya'll have lost track of the actual thread.

My comment to Flipper is sounds like you stay in your sons business just a little too much. When my husband retired, we moved to his hometown (what were we thinking???) my monster-in-law was almost successful in ending our then 18 year marriage within the course of 9 months. Said the exact same things about me as you do about your daughter in law.

Of course my situation was different and you can read my other posts, my husband cheated on me, but my mother in law didn't help matters!

I called my parents and borrowed 5,000 and got us the you know what out of dodge!!! That's been 6 years ago and we never looked back!!! 

He also had an EA some 8 months ago but he went to counselling and I told him that was his last chance!! Lucky he got that, the jack*** now I've lost track of the actual thread!!


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