# Why Bother?



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

Why bother going on? Hisband who is serial cheater. No family. Friends who scattered like roaches when things got rough. Why bother. Can. Anyone relate? What kept you goin?


----------



## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Do you mean 

Why bother going on with your marriage?

Or with life?

Nothing is worth taking your own life. Get professional help immediately. If the answer to the question is why bother with life, I can message you some emergency call center crisis numbers. Please don't do anything drastic.


----------



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

No, im in no danger. To myself or anyone else. Thank you though


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Do you have kids? How long married?

C


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Why bother?

Well, there are men better suited for you. Men who will love you and not betray you.

And there are new friends to make. But remember, to have a friend you must first be a friend.

There are things to do and learn and experience. 

Right now, like I was, you see the dark side of such things as you have been betrayed and are genuinely hurting- and for good reason. 

But with the hurt comes healing. Yes, the pain never fully goes away and it must be for now.

But if you want it to, life gets much better. 

It's up to you.


----------



## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Your choice is your choice... If you can't find a reason then don't. Find what you want to do in life and go do it. Don't find excuses why you didn't do things. Go get them done.

I'm sorry you are here. I stayed as long as I could because I didn't want to let go of any time with my kids. 

My friends were true. They lifted me up all the way. Friends who aren't like that aren't friends. I have few friends but they are quality.


----------



## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Twofaces said:


> Why bother going on? Hisband who is serial cheater. No family. Friends who scattered like roaches when things got rough. Why bother. Can. Anyone relate? What kept you goin?


Why bother?

Because it is a marriage and you are a party to the marriage.

Husband is a serial cheater.

Sorry about that. 

What kept going?

For me, the kids. So much pain for myself. All I endured was for the lovely innocent kids.


----------



## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

Twofaces said:


> Why bother going on? Hisband who is serial cheater. No family. Friends who scattered like roaches when things got rough. Why bother. Can. Anyone relate? What kept you goin?


Great question!

Sorry that you are in this situation. I am a proponent of DON"T BOTHER. I do not believe that you should remain married because you are married. I do not believe that you should remain married because you have children, are religious, family expects it, community expects it etc.

Are you unhappy, hurt, feel insecure, hateful, betrayed? *GET OUT and be happy, healthy, confident, secure ...*

Good luck!


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Because now that you followed the rules that you thought existed, and certainly not rewarded for doing so, you can make up rules that make sense to you, and follow them instead. It's the thrill of experiencing acts of volition and watching life transform as a result, that keeps most people going. And when you find other people who are doing the same thing, it has a nice surreal quality about it. Life is no longer 2-dimensional. It changes. But it does require at least a first act of volition. Doing something because that's what you believe... not what you think you should believe...


----------



## northland (Apr 13, 2012)

PastOM said:


> I do not believe that you should remain married because you are married.


Trying to wrap my head around that statement and having no success deciphering it.

Do you believe you should remain married if you're _not_ married?

:scratchhead:


----------



## PastOM (Apr 12, 2013)

northland said:


> Trying to wrap my head around that statement and having no success deciphering it.
> 
> Do you believe you should remain married if you're _not_ married?
> 
> :scratchhead:


Ha! No. I don't believe that you should remain married merely because you have taken the marriage vows in the past. 

Put another way - just because you are married (currently), does not mean that you should remain married (future).

There is a huge concept on TAM with relation to affairs - work it out! I think in many cases that is really good - but answering the question of the OP here, my opinion is:

We get one life - if you were married and have become unhappy - get out.

Hope that clarifies.


----------



## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

Nothing. I made the rational decision that a life with someone I can't trust is worse that one without them.

I choose to be done and now patiently wait for her return from an over seas trip to file. You can't change their behavior and whether or not they ever repeat the behavior you'll always have to wonder.

In reality you'll wonder now, regardles sof who you're with. So they ruined all future relationships for you. However at least with future ones you can hope you don't catch them doing anything and at least get that "clean slate" feeling.


----------

