# How can I live without him?



## Brokenhearted83 (Jul 23, 2010)

Last night my husband and I realised we had spent 4 years together and we have been destroying each other. I knew something had to happened and have been suggesting seperation in the midst of argument but i never thought it could actually happen. Last night we talk for hours about us and he thinks that our marriage is over. We have an awesome little boy of 2 who loves us both very much and it just is killing me to even think about what is going to happen and how I will explain things to him. What makes things slightly more complicated is that I live in a foreign country and dont speak the language so do I take my baby home and flee or do I try and start a life for me here? I am living through my husband here and am certainly not independent, I just dont know what to do?

We love each other so much but we are so mean to each other all the time its terrible.

How can love make you so cruel??? 

I dont want to quit our marriage

Any input????

G


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

Unfortunately if you are to split you need to be where you can get family support. 

Once you divorce, your ex husband is your child’s father only not your husband, he will probably want to keep in contact for his child’s sake , however as the greater effort is on your side and as a single parent you need to be with a group that can support you normally this means being close to your own family. 

There is no right answer but you can’t be lonely in a strange land - it will not be good for your or your baby. A consideration is where in the long term will your child be better off.

A better option will be to work on your marriage but it does take two if this is to succeed


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I would suggest marriage counseling but because you are in a different country, I fear the problems between you are culturally-related. It's just my guess and imagination, but I can't help thinking what he expects from a wife in his country are entirely different from your expectations based on your own background. If I am even remotely correct, then there isn't a marriage counselor in existence that can help you.

If I am wrong, then counseling is in order, and there are resources we here on the board can offer you that I think will be extremely helpful. Please tell us something about the culture or country you live in and where you are from.


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## jimrich (Sep 26, 2010)

Brokenhearted83 said:


> Last night my husband and I realised we had spent 4 years together and we have been destroying each other.
> .... That is because you just do not know how to make it work but you can LEARN HOW. Look around for books or search on line for anything about relationships and get started learning.
> 
> 
> ...


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