# Be nice to the boy



## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

*What would you like your partner to do for you*

Articles below ->


In this thread we would like to ask you to contribute with examples of gestures and activities that would make you feel loved and appreciated by your partner.

So ladies and gentlemen please contribute and let's biuld a reference, a collection of gold nuggets of emmotional
fulfillment. The precise goal is for the woman who is inclined to develop these key skills to have this 
information to turn to and use. 

Please feel free to add personal stories and examples. 

Longer explanation just below.

I would like to draw your attention to a curious phenomenon. It seems that most relationships start out with
both partners having good intentions. They want to be happy and want their partner to be happy as well. 
It also seems that most relationships as they progress they reach an imbalanced state sooner or later. 
In other words the two partners end up not liking eachother that much. 

So if you want to make your partner happy and your partner want's the same what is happening in the middle?
Well there must be a misunderstanding or two somehere along the line that throws a wrench in the works.

Now granted the actual mechanisms of a long term relationship are diverse and complex but there is a recurring
theme, a series of key skills that when mastered have a powerful positive impact on the dynamics.

The key skills have to do with developing the habbits that fulfill your partner's emmotional needs. The 
misunderstanding is often unspoken and it has to do with the fact that both men and women seem to offer
support, affection, love with different views of what is important and how. 

One of the key skills for women inside a relationship is fulfilling their partner's emotional needs.

To that end this topic has been started. The intention here is to gather a large collection of actions that 
a woman can do to meet a mans's emmotional needs. 

Often during counseling women are surprised to find that even though their gestures of affection are 
appreciated, they are neglecting very important areas. Not intentionally but simply because their natural
focus is elsewhere. 

Finally there is surprising symetry in misunderstandings on both sides. Many men would be surprised to learn
that a simmilar situation happens on their side. Hence we created the thread "Be nice to the girl".

We will regularly read the posts and update the table of contents with your contributions with links to your 
description.


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Categories: 

Care giver 

*Supportive*
Trust in your partners judjument
Don't assume what he is doing has a selfish motive.

Partner

Eager lover


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

trust in your partners judjument.

I can't count the number of times that I said we ought to do x,y,z and have a strugle from the wife arguing about something she dose not have a qlue about what she talking. and when I push forward and it ends up being the best thing since sliced bread she almost acts like it was her idea or that she was suportive the whole time.

instead I"d like to see her say.......Wow nice job and then be more trusting the next time.

at first her attitude derailed me and made me second guess myself now I just do what I think is right and don't even tell her most times.


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Very well said. 

This from a woman shows appreciation and faith in her man's abilities and for most men this is one of the pillars their psyche. Remember ladies just as much as you want to feel beautiful and desire your partner to appreciate your beauty he desires to feel skilled and appreciated for it. 

And in both cases it's very important to verbalize it and repeat it regularly in different ways.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Often during counseling women are surprised to find that even though their gestures of affection are
appreciated, they are neglecting very important areas. Not intentinally but simply because their natural
focus is elsewhere. 
Quoted from your post above... could you give some general examples you see reoccurring?


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

*Re: What would you like your partner to do for you*

Right,

The hope is if people contribute to the thread for certain items to be fleshed out. 

Generally the items that surprise women are in the supportive and partner areas although misunderstandings can occur on all levels.

One classic example would be when a man is stressed and consumed by a problem he often retreats within himself to address it. In this situation it his partner would be wise to show faith and confidence in his skill to solve it on his own rather than attempting to get him to talk about the problem.

There are many more and hopefully they will reveal themselves through replies.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

leave


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## EynaraWolf (Aug 26, 2010)

Don't assume what he is doing has a selfish motive.

Early on in our marriage my husband was ALWAYS working on the car. He'd spend hours researching tires and the right oil and breaks and...anything he could fix or repair himself. I was starting to feel jealous of the car. He loves cars and loves working on them. I thought he was spending time with his real love. When I confronted him about it, he said he needed to make sure the car I was driving was as safe as it could be with the tiny budget we had at the time.

Now that we can afford better cars that have warranties, he can still spends hours researching tires before we buy them, but he doesn't spend nearly the time fixing the car because the dealership can do it. He's happy to spend his car fixing time with me and our girls.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

*Re: What would you like your partner to do for you*



> The intention here is to gather a large collection of actions that
> *a man can do to meet a mans's emmotional needs*.


A Freudian slip there?


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