# Masturbation in marriage



## Whenwillitend (Jul 25, 2012)

Ok so I have a question for the TAM community. I have seen a lot of posts regarding masturbation,sex toys and porn and I have a question. I will make it personal so I will tell my story. I got caught by wife and she got really mad (porn involved) , but the reason why, was that she rejected me. So my question is , if you reject your spouse how can you be surprised that they masturbate/watch porn when you rejected them? I guess I'm just curious to hear from the LD side.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm not LD but have a question... when you say she rejected you what do you mean?

How often do the two of you have sex?

How often does she turn you down?


----------



## Whenwillitend (Jul 25, 2012)

To answer your question it , we had a great sexlife and once kids happened i became second and then third. I went from being her center of the universe to bottom of the barrel. And she was hurt that I was masturbating. No affection what so ever.....


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Have you talked to her about how you feel regarding the lack of sex?

Also, are you sure it was the act itself and not that you were hiding it from her? My personal view on porn is that it has no place in my marriage. Thankfully, my husband agrees with this. I've posted many times about this, so just saying I know for a fact that porn is not viewed in my house, in any form. Easily verified, and I have no reason to check up. That said, I think I would be more hurt that it was viewed in secret, if he found a way to view it.

Regarding masturbation... I have told him that I would be fine if he did. He chooses not to. Honestly, at this time, I am glad he DOESN'T since his meds are affecting him in that area. 

Anyway, are you sure it is the act and not the secrecy? And, if it is the porn, did you know before now what she thought of porn?


----------



## Whenwillitend (Jul 25, 2012)

I'm just trying ti figure out why for some women it's ok for them to have dildos or vibrators but it's not ok for the husband to watch porn or have his own toys,


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sexual rejection AND an emotional attempt to control your sexuality.

Tell her to piss off.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The correct response, when she gets on your case...

"Baby, when we got married, I vowed to be monogamous, not celibate. If you've changed your mind on that, let me know"

I expect your next post to be from a doghouse somewhere... 

C


----------



## Whenwillitend (Jul 25, 2012)

O I have.I guess that what happens when spouse turns from LD to HD


----------



## Gorky75 (Aug 22, 2012)

Whenwillitend said:


> To answer your question it , we had a great sexlife and once kids happened i became second and then third. I went from being her center of the universe to bottom of the barrel. And she was hurt that I was masturbating. No affection what so ever.....


Well I am HD, so maybe not the perspective you want. But I think her being mad does not make sense. Where does that leave you? No sex from her and none from yourself?? You have a right to get yourself what you need. Not a right to get it from her, but certainly a right to work it out another way if she won't. (without betraying her with another person obviously).


----------

