# help getting hubby to dress better?



## martita (Jun 1, 2014)

Hi guys,

Ok, so when i met my hubby he would dress nice and continued to do so till half way through our relationship. His wardrobe was still kinda nice until we married. Then he kind of let himself go. 
I have told him to try to dress a little nicer like before, but he insists that he already has clothes and that he will not spend money on clothes. I tried implying that i could give him a pair of shoes for xmas or some really nice pants, but he told me that if i give him that he wont wear it or return it if he can.
When we shop together hes not open to the styles i suggest.
I do realize that this might be something im going to have to get over, but i dont want to lose attraction to him, even if i dont want to. 
He has gained weight, is short and is losing hair (in his 20s) I love him ...so i want to at least try to do something...

Ive tried praising. Ive tried talking to him. I will not tell him that im afraid i wont be attracted to him anymore, because i dont want to hurt his feelingsor lower his self esteem.

Any ideas on how to get a guy to dress nice?
Money is not an issue (he is just a little frugal)


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

This won't work for everyone (obviously) but having daughters helped me to dress better. 

Them: Seriously Dad? You're going to go outside in that?

Me: What's wrong with it?

Them: OMG Dad! OMG....


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I used to dress very badly. My wife finally convinced me to dress better. I now dress quite nicely and as it turns out get quite a bit of attention from women at work.......


You could let your hubby know...


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

IMO, I don't really think it's a person's place to dictate how their spouse dresses. If he's comfortable with his appearance, that's what matters.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

I think you SHOULD tell him that it's important to you to feel attracted to him. That's a VERY important part of any normal relationship.

And the way he is dressing now just isn't doing it for you. If my partner told me in a way that wasn't trying to be deliberately mean or hurtful, but rather to make me understand how important it is for him to feel attracted to me, you can bet I'd be stepping up my game!

He is being lazy about his appearance and unconcerned about your feelings. And really, this isn't about clothes at all, but rather his unwillingness to participate in meaningful communication. He is blowing off your feelings about something that is important to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

As a fashion challenged husband, GOD BLESS YOU.

You are a treasure.

Now...is he cheap? And (not to put too fine a point on this) do you actually have a good sense of style? Do you get complimented on your own fashion choices?

Because, there are some things I just won't wear myself...and my wife has gotten to the 'art of possible' when she helps me dress (I solicite her advice when I can)

So...run this challenge with him. Tell him you are going shopping and buying him three outfits. This works best if he socializes or goes to church.

Tell him he needs to wear these outfits on and off for a week and every time he gets a compliment, he needs to stick a quarter, a dollar, some kind of marker in his pocket. Just to make him mindful.

But honestly...maybe work through other people. Let his sister, mother whomever make that suggestion. Sometimes for reasons which are not rational, if my wife suggests I exercise, I want to reflexively eat a box of Ho Hos in response.

Get the bug that he's sloppily dressed in his ear somehow...and he is more likely to come to you for help.

Unless he's really cheap. That's it's own issue outside of fashion.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I think a better question is, why is it so important to YOU OP that he dresses nicely?

I'm pretty sure I love my wife ANY way she dresses. And if she were to dress nicely ALL THE TIME, the appeal of "her dressing nicely here and there" would be lost.

It sounds to me like there are some deeper issues than just "dressing".

Don't tell him what to do. Clothes to men is not what it is to women. We dress for comfort, not for others.

Mind you, he should still dress up for you here and there, but to expect him to dress nice all the time is over the top.

And, men that dress "very nice" all the time are probably not the kind of men one wants in a LTR (little tip for you gals). 

You know what they say about a man in the suit......

Gaining weight though, not that's a REAL issue HE needs to deal with (and you should push him). That's not only a concern to his health but also attraction for you. Clothes is just putting lipstick on a pig.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

DoF said:


> And, men that dress "very nice" all the time are probably not the kind of men one wants in a LTR (little tip for you gals).
> 
> You know what they say about a man in the suit......


DOF,

The way a man dresses has zero do to with whether he is LTR material or not. I dress very nice, the best I've ever dressed in my entire life! I have more disposable income now that I'm older and really enjoy dressing nice. I would have done it far sooner if we weren't raising a herd of kids :rofl: There's nothing wrong with dressing for comfort, but when the missus and I go out, I GO all out and it feels great. 

I also dress very nice for business, but it depends on the business you're in...

Oh, and what is it they say about a man in a suit? 

Op, I think he's just got complacent and a bit lazy. Maybe you could remind him of how great it will make him feel when he is dressed nicely.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Have you flat out told him that you are losing attraction for him? 

Does he ever dress well? If so then can you praise him at those times so he knows what you like.

My partner wears a suit and tie 5 days a week (no idea what it is they say about men in suits). He looks amazing, so damn sexy and I let him know it. On the weekends if we are not doing anything outside of the house then he will get all comfy and while it is not exactly a turn on it does not bother me because it shows he is comfortable and relaxed. After a long stressful week of work this is important. But when we go out he always dresses well, again I let him know how good he looks.

Many women do want their man to be well dressed, it is a turn on and yes the opposite can be a turn off. Maybe he does not understand this, you need to talk.


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## Angelou (Oct 21, 2014)

A few gifts from you could serve as hints. Granted the spouse has to be willing to want to "spice up" their outfits. If it's to please you or to want to "look better" for himself, the key word here is _want_. I've had this happen before. Usually they've been open minded to my opinion. Good luck!


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

If his job requires comfortable dressing rather than elegance ; I would say move away from his way , you are just disturbing him .

I would stand by your side if he dresses bad in social occasions .

Stop talking nevertheless; if you want a change act , 
Iron first something from his closet -before you jump to a store - because it is easier for you ; and prepare his cloth and tell him the magic words.

I have never changed my cloth when my wife tells me you look awful; I only did it when she understood that I adore that she help choose my cloth iron them for me and help fix my tie; she did it twice ...

only if you help him the right way he will change , otherwise if you don't want to exert such an effort , just forget about it .


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

and forget about gifts prior to change ; he will hate them and you will take it personnaly


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I was married to a guy who is fashion challenged. He also hates to shop.

So I just started buying him clothing. He thought this was great, no shopping and he looked great.

Perhaps if you start by just buying him small things and see if he really does take them back.

Don't tell him you don't like how he dresses. Just tell him that you saw it and you thought of him and how great he'd look.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I am not a game player, but ....okay, I am a game player.

Anything that is obviously worn and losing cohesion, and the 'hand' of the fabric, toss out. Don't even ask. If it's ten years old, out. Do a big drive with your own closet for a Good Will run and thoroughly and heartlessly winnow through his stuff 'for the children'.

When he asks about this or that, point to the obviously worn collar, the stained jeans, the frayed knees and raise an eyebrow. Make him defend keeping an obviously defunct piece of clothing.

Caveat: there will be some really comfy and emotionally attached clothes he has. Spare that OSU sweat shirt he loves so much or that pair of sneakers.

NOW...he has to fill in some gaps. Tell him you are more than happy to take over that role if he is busy. Make sure he is busy that week.

Please note: you will not win them all. My wife gave me a few shirts I simply will not wear. But for the most part, I appreciate it when she throws things in my closet.


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## IWantGreatMarriage (May 20, 2014)

batsociety said:


> IMO, I don't really think it's a person's place to dictate how their spouse dresses. If he's comfortable with his appearance, that's what matters.


This is wrong, IMO, on so many levels. If you don't dress for your spouse, who else do you dress for? Women are visual creatures too, not just men.


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