# Advice from the ladies re: semi cold approach



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

The guys can chime in too of course. There's this woman who works in my building that I find very attractive. Almost everyday for the past few days, we leave at the same time and walk the same 10 blocks - and in the morning, we end up walking at the same time too. She lives in an apartment right next to where I park. We either walk side by side for a while or with one just in front of the other. We definitely have noticed each other. She looked right at me this morning. I'm sure she thought "there's that guy again". It's been pretty crazy the amount of times we're walking together (it's never intentional or stalk-y on my part - it's just an honest coincidence). When she looked at me today I froze and didn't smile at all - DUMB!

Anyway, I'm an utter chicken**** with stuff like this. But I wanted to ask - is it just too creepy and weird to say something? Does that freak women out? Would it weird her out even more because we see each other all the time? What would I say if I did say something? One challenge is she has her headphones in most of the time (so do I).

I could make a crack about her following me. Then when she turns me down I can say "well, you know I know where you live, right?" 

But seriously, what do you all think? Should I just keep admiring her ass as she walks from a distance or go for it?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Why not say "Hi", introduce yourself and make a comment about the 10 block walk. You can see if she's receptive to you or not. If she gives you the cold shoulder then you have your answer. If she starts chatting and seems friendly, you can talk more.



Healer said:


> I could make a crack about her following me. Then when she turns me down I can say "well, you know I know where you live, right?"


Hmmm...this can backfire. You don't know how she'll take it. Your delivery might not be perceived as playful, which is what I think you're intending to be.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

"Hi, my name is Healer. Seeing as we have bumped in to each other numerous times, I figured it would be rude of me not to introduce myself".


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'd say buy her a pair of LuLuLemons, and ask her to start wearing them in the morning. If she does, you're in. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> Hmmm...this can backfire. You don't know how she'll take it. Your delivery might not be perceived as playful, which is what I think you're intending to be.


I was just kidding - I wouldn't try that. Too risky. She'd probably call HR on me!


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> I'd say buy her a pair of LuLuLemons, and ask her to start wearing them in the morning. If she does, you're in.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Haaa! Maybe I should buy a pair and walk in front of her, shaking my arse.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Healer said:


> Haaa! Maybe I should buy a pair and walk in front of her, shaking my arse.


If you're going to do that, go to your local farmers market and get a nice big kielbasa sausage to stuff with first. Just remember, it goes in the front, not the back!

I still remember going to work with my boss one day... He had his hands full, so he stuffed his banana in his pants pocket. Didn't think much of it. Till the elevator door opened up, and a sweet young thing was standing there. She got this great big smile, and said the most enthusiastic "Goooood morning!" We both just returned her greeting, but when we dropped off our stuff on our desks, he realized how he looked... Just about busted a gut!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

PBear said:


> If you're going to do that, go to your local farmers market and get a nice big kielbasa sausage to stuff with first. Just remember, it goes in the front, not the back!
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL. Not the back, check!

How about a cucumber wrapped in tinfoil?


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Why is it sooooo scary? I've been told I'm a good looking guy, I dress well, I have an awesome career, play in a band. Yet the prospect of this horrifies me. I have opportunities all the time, when I feel like women are checking me out, make eye contact, smile, and I do NOTHING!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

To buy a throw away phone. Put your SIM card in it from your good phone. 

Walk in front of her one day. Drop said phone. Even better, be wearing headphones, and pretend like you don't notice the phone falling. 

When she catches up to you to give you the phone, ask her to send you a text to make sure your phone still works. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Healer said:


> Why is it sooooo scary? I've been told I'm a good looking guy, I dress well, I have an awesome career, play in a band. Yet the prospect of this horrifies me. I have opportunities all the time, when I feel like women are checking me out, make eye contact, smile, and I do NOTHING!!


Because it IS scary to put yourself out there when it is something you are uncomfortable with in the first place. Think about the very first time you were on stage. Were you nervous? I bet you were. Are you nervous now? I doubt it. Why? Because you have done it enough times that it is something you are comfortable with. You'll get to that point with introducing yourself to women too. Do it enough times and it will be second hand to you.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Because it IS scary to put yourself out there when it is something you are uncomfortable with in the first place. Think about the very first time you were on stage. Were you nervous? I bet you were. Are you nervous now? I doubt it. Why? Because you have done it enough times that it is something you are comfortable with. You'll get to that point with introducing yourself to women too. Do it enough times and it will be second hand to you.


This is one aspect of the Pick Up Artist teachings that I thought was good. Doing exercises that got you used to being rejected. In doing so, it takes away the fear of saying "hi, how you doing?" 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Healer said:


> Anyway, I'm an utter chicken**** with stuff like this. But I wanted to ask - is it just too creepy and weird to say something?


You're both wearing headphones - my suggestion would be to throw a smile her way when eye contact next happens. As for dialogue, say hi and casually ask what she's listening to. You can gauge if she's open to conversation and also gives opportunity to continue dialogue between you.

Keep us posted!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Just freaking walk up to her, gesture to remove her headphones while you remove yours and say "Its funny how we always end up walking at almost the same time! I think this is some sort of sign that we need to get to know each other better. How about I take you to lunch next Tuesday?"

What's the worst that can happen?


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

I might jokingly say something like :We have to stop meeting like this!" See what her reaction is. It is a great conversation starter.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

lenzi said:


> (snip)
> 
> What's the worst that can happen?


Guess I have too much imagination for "the worst that can happen" 

Seriously though If you ask politely if she would mind if you walked with her, she may say "yes" no, but only a nut-case would be offended - and in that case you don't want to know her anyway.

If she does walk with you, just pay attention to her reaction to see if if looks like she wants to do it again. Hopefully she will at that point say something about having enjoyed the company.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Healer said:


> The guys can chime in too of course. There's this woman who works in my building that I find very attractive. Almost everyday for the past few days, we leave at the same time and walk the same 10 blocks - and in the morning, we end up walking at the same time too. She lives in an apartment right next to where I park. We either walk side by side for a while or with one just in front of the other. We definitely have noticed each other. She looked right at me this morning. I'm sure she thought "there's that guy again". It's been pretty crazy the amount of times we're walking together (it's never intentional or stalk-y on my part - it's just an honest coincidence). When she looked at me today I froze and didn't smile at all - DUMB!
> 
> Anyway, I'm an utter chicken**** with stuff like this. But I wanted to ask - is it just too creepy and weird to say something? Does that freak women out? Would it weird her out even more because we see each other all the time? What would I say if I did say something? One challenge is she has her headphones in most of the time (so do I).
> 
> ...


This is simple.

You basically know this woman and she knows you casually. Both of you are acquaintances.

Just send her a nice bouquet of flowers anonymously on work , with a card wishing her a nice day. Nothing clingy or creepy.

Let two days pass and then approach her , introduce yourself and ask if she liked the flowers.

That would be her first impression of you, and definitely , it would be a good . lasting one.

[ That's if she's not involved with another man.]


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## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

I always had problems talking to girls as a lad. Then I managed to befriend my now-wife before eventually asking her out.

I've always thought that if I was ever on the market again, I would just approach every encounter with full confidence and an expectation of rejection. That way, if it works, it's a nice surprise instead of being bummed about rejection.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why not just smile and say Hi?


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Why not just smile and say Hi?


Seriously!

If I saw a guy I worked with every morning, I would be much more weirded out by him staying 10 paces behind to watch my a$$ than if he shot me a smile and a friendly wave, and carried on with his day.

The bouquet of flowers idea also strikes me as over the top. 

Why not just simple, normal human interaction?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Seriously!
> 
> If I saw a guy I worked with every morning, I would be much more weirded out by him staying 10 paces behind to watch my a$$ than if he shot me a smile and a friendly wave, and carried on with his day.
> 
> ...


Stalker creepyish was my first thought...

And yeah, a simple "Hi" rather than some contrived and staged encounter...


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Haha! Great stuff here guys. The building we work in is a 60 story skyscraper, so I don't have connection beyond the walk. 

Regarding watching her ass when she walks, it's 50/50 - she watches mine too. 

I haven't seen her the past couple days (I've left at slightly different times) but next time I do I'll try the "hi" and smile.

Keep em coming though, this is good fun.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Ask if you can smell her hair, better yet ask for a few strands so you can take with you...women love that.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Ask if you can smell her hair, better yet ask for a few strands so you can take with you...women love that.


Lol. It puts the lotion on its skin.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

PBear said:


> If you're going to do that, go to your local farmers market and get a nice big kielbasa sausage to stuff with first. *Just remember, it goes in the front, not the back!
> *
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OMG. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Why not just smile and say Hi?


I think this is the best advice so far. You don't have to make some joke or witty comment.....


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## magnolia2014 (Aug 29, 2014)

If you've noticed her - she's definitely noticed you as well and she hasn't changed her route or time. Most likely she's interested in talking to you as well especially if you truly think she's watching your arse as well.  You seem like you have a lot going for you. Don't let your nerves work yourself up into a tizzy. You're not asking to marry her. Just strike up a simple conversation and see where it leads.... the headphones just might be the right ticket. Go for it! :smthumbup:


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Seriously!
> 
> If I saw a guy I worked with every morning, I would be much more weirded out by him staying 10 paces behind to watch my a$$ than if he shot me a smile and a friendly wave, and carried on with his day.
> 
> ...


Because "_ normal human interaction_" doesn't cut it when a a guy sees a woman he's heads over heels attracted to, especially if she's smoking hot , and is accustomed to strange men hitting on her.

Do you pay special attention to a guy simply because he walked up to you and said " hi ?"

Obviously , no.
It would take a whole lot more to get your attention. 
Then why would_ she_ pay him attention simply because he did what every other man who's mesmerized by her beauty does?

How many guys do you think walk up to her daily and say " hi?"

Lots , if she's a very attractive woman.

How many guys do you think has ever sent her a _heliconia_ arrangement wishing her a nice day?

Almost none.

Do women like flowers?





That's why it works, because it's over the top , but in a nice , not creepy way.

Even though she isn't interested in him at this time, she will never forget him and_ that_ gesture, because it was over the top.

But I think he must keep in mind, that she could be otherwise involved or just not interested.
Either way, he should be prepared for any response she gives.

Me , I never thought it was wise to invest so much time and emotional energy in a complete stranger...
Nevertheless, it always felt good when they invested it in me.

If she was interested, then _she'd_ have to come get me.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Me , I never thought it was wise to invest so much time and emotional energy in a complete stranger...


Umm, well, yes, it is kind of crazy (and a bit creepy) to invest a whole lot of emotional energy into someone you don't know from a hole in the wall.

Which is why I suggested normal human interaction.

You seem to think that is not enough to get her attention because she is too "smokin" to care about some "hi" from some guy.

But I think if she really is all that, the flowers won't cut it either. No doubt that sort of thing happens to her all the time too. So, maybe she'll remember them, but more likely as one of those ridiculous losers who are too shy just to say hi and be a normal person. 

Life is not a romantic comedy, I'm afraid, and those dramatic gestures rarely end up in a scripted happy ending.

If she really is "all that", and even if she isn't, she'll be vastly more impressed by someone who actually treats her like a normal human being, recognizing that she has thoughts, feelings, a personality of her own, instead of just being some hot piece of a$$ you (and every other guy) want to stick it into. *That* she gets all of the time.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Healer said:


> Haha! Great stuff here guys. The building we work in is a 60 story skyscraper, so I don't have connection beyond the walk.
> 
> Regarding watching her ass when she walks, it's 50/50 - she watches mine too.
> 
> ...


 That's the second comment you made about her ass so a piece of advice.

When you do finally build up the courage to say "hi", make sure your looking at her from the neck up so she sees that it's not just her ass your interested in. 

If you get shut down then you can watch her ass walking away but if she shows interest, then you make conversation and maybe it will lead you to a date.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

dormant said:


> I might jokingly say something like :We have to stop meeting like this!" See what her reaction is. It is a great conversation starter.


This is the best suggested approach my opinion. If she smiles then she has noticed you as well. If she looks at you like WTF then she has no clue about you. Great way to gauge interest


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

"Walking Man"


Moving in silent desperation, keeping an eye on the Holy Land.
A hypothetical destination, say, who is this walking man?

Well, the leaves have come to turning and the goose has gone to fly,
And bridges are for burning, so don't you let that yearning pass you by.

Walking man, walking man walks.

Any other man stops and talks but the walking man walks.

Well the frost is on the pumpkin and the hay is in the barn.
Pappy's come to rambling on, stumbling around drunk down on the farm.

And the walking man walks. Doesn't know nothing at all.
Any other man stops and talks but the walking man walks on by, walk on by.

Most everybody's got seed to sow. It ain't always easy for a weed to grow, oh no.

So he don't hoe the row for no one, for sure he's always missing,
and something ain't never quite right.

Ah, but who would want to listen to you kissing his existence good night?

Walking man walk. Walk on by my door. Well, any other man stops and talks

but not the walking man. He's the walking man, born to walk, walk on walking man.

Well now, would he have wings to fly? Would he be free?

Golden wings against the sky, walking man, walk on by.
So long, walking man. 

Send her this with one flower 

Be the man of mystery I bet she will know who it's from

55









Submit Corrections
JAMES TAYLOR


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Life is not a romantic comedy, I'm afraid, and those dramatic gestures rarely end up in a scripted happy ending.


And since when women aren't impressed by romantic gestures?

Lol, who's talking about happy ending?

The OP is simply interested in " breaking the ice", not marriage and " happily ever after." He just got divorced for Christ's sake!

She could be romantically involved with a man or even a woman for all we know...

Have you _EVER_ gotten flowers , chocolates or even a tiny card from a good looking stranger?

I have , and it didn't end up in a scripted " happy ending" but she definitely caught my attention , and we both enjoyed the fun..

Absolutely nothing scripted about a man / woman going off the beaten path and doing what others haven't done.

All hail , the death of romance.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I have , and it didn't end up in a scripted " happy ending" but she definitely caught my attention , and we both enjoyed the fun..


Ah, my mistake. Over the top romantic gestures can result in a happy ending, as your story clearly shows. She took a risk, made an emotional investment, and it worked! She got your attention, and you had your fun.

That's all I meant by "happy ending". Fun, as opposed to rejection.

As you note, though, it doesn't always work out quite so well. You could have been otherwise taken. Or simply not interested. 

Or sick of people sending you gifts because they want in your pants.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Have you _EVER_ gotten flowers , chocolates or even a tiny card from a good looking stranger?


The one time, the only time, I received a flower from a random stranger was in Paris. Batman had gone into a store and I was waiting outside taking photos. This guy, just slightly older, came over and handed me a rose. I hesitated, he said something about being beautiful and kind of insisted I take the rose ...pffft how can that be resisted? Then he walked away. Hubs came out of the store and I was grinning, 'I was just handed this rose!' He laughed and rolled his eyes. Then we'd barely walked a few steps, when said 'rose guy' came up and asked for some Euro in exchange for the rose. DAGNABBIT! I'd been a savvy traveler up until that point. I told him no. He asked again and I handed the rose back to him. Then I mentally slapped my forehead for not seeing it coming.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> All hail , the death of romance.


Everyone's a hustler!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> The one time, the only time, I received a flower from a random stranger was in Paris. Batman had gone into a store and I was waiting outside taking photos. This guy, just slightly older, came over and handed me a rose. I hesitated, he said something about being beautiful and kind of insisted I take the rose ...pffft how can that be resisted? Then he walked away. Hubs came out of the store and I was grinning, 'I was just handed this rose!' He laughed and rolled his eyes. Then we'd barely walked a few steps, when said 'rose guy' came up and asked for some Euro in exchange for the rose. DAGNABBIT! I'd been a savvy traveler up until that point. I told him no. He asked again and I handed the rose back to him. Then I mentally slapped my forehead for not seeing it coming.


Actually, my wife's friend also told me the same thing happened to her and her husband while they were in Rome.
But the guy approached her husband with flowers and told him to take it and give it to his wife [ she was a little way off ] then a little later , after he gave it to her, the stranger requested money...



"_ Everyone's a hustler_.."


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