# set him up??



## summer02 (Jun 24, 2014)

I need a little advise here. For those of you who have not read my story, here it is. I caught my H on websites such as adult friend finder, cheating hookups, etc. He created profiles on these sites and responded to one email but went no farther. He never paid for the membership so no interaction took place. 

I also found numbers in his phone of escorts (which he never called). I wonder if he would have called had I not confronted him about the numbers.

He says he was drinking, angry because of things goings between us.... He assures me nothing happened and never would and he has never cheated on me.

He works out of town, so it would be very easy for him to cheat and i would never know. I am considering setting him up with a decoy to see what he will do. I need to know if I am married to a cheater! Is this a good idea?? If so, how long should I wait so that he doesnt suspect it is me setting him up? Right now, he is trying to convince me nothing happened and is showing me all calls, texts, etc.

My mind is a wreck so I really need advise on this. I am trying to move on with him but having a hard time with the thoughts that he may be cheating or has in the past. Any advise/opinions????


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## catsa (Jun 8, 2013)

Time for a PI.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

^agree.

I hired a PI to follow my wife on an out of town business meeting. Best (and worst) money ever spent. Expect to spend 200-300 a day, depending on length of days:nights and city he is in.

Don't hire cheapest if that's the only reason. Make are they have experience with wayward spouses, educated/criminal justice background, mine was a retired police officer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## summer02 (Jun 24, 2014)

I am not working and cant afford a PI. I was thinking more like having a girl to call him, see how he responds, and possibly set up a meeting with him. If he is actually cheating maybe this will work, but i need to know how long to wait (because all of this has just hit the fan and he is being careful) before I do this so that he doesnt suspect me of setting him up.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

summer02 said:


> I am not working and cant afford a PI. I was thinking more like having a girl to call him, see how he responds, and possibly set up a meeting with him. If he is actually cheating maybe this will work, but i need to know how long to wait (because all of this has just hit the fan and he is being careful) before I do this so that he doesnt suspect me of setting him up.


I like this idea. Make sure it's someone you trust. And have them take along a recording device- even if it's their phone.


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## summer02 (Jun 24, 2014)

ok, so how long should I wait? Everything just came out in the open last week and he is still pleading his case. If he suspects me setting this up it wont work and I am left in the same position of not knowing. 

It is hard to pretend I am ok and have accepted his "stories", but I dont wan to move too soon.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I posted advice for you in your first thread - did you read it?


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## Just Joe (May 26, 2014)

summer02 said:


> I am not working and cant afford a PI. I was thinking more like having a girl to call him, see how he responds, and possibly set up a meeting with him. If he is actually cheating maybe this will work, but i need to know how long to wait (because all of this has just hit the fan and he is being careful) before I do this so that he doesn't suspect me of setting him up.


Who would you get to call? Would she record the call so you could hear it for yourself? 

Reminds me of a show I think I saw on TV, I think there are companies, maybe private detective type companies, that will get an attractive woman to hit on your husband in a bar when you are not around and videotape it for you to see. To the best of my memory, not many, if any, guys passed that test.

Seems like your gut feeling is that he is lying and would cheat, and I would say that gut feelings usually are right.

Let him know you have no interest in checking up on him, don't want to look at his computer or phone, you feel you need to trust him completely in order to give it a shot and that is what you are going to do. Wait a week without checking up on him, then have the other woman call him.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

If you have to set up a decoy to see if he'd cheat, you have bigger problems in your marriage than you think.

Why not just confront him with what you know and decide whether you want to tolerate this behavior or not?


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