# Going out for drinks all the time.... really?



## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

So Im not sure if this is to drown his sorrows....or if he out looking for chicks but since 3 weeks ago when he decided for the both of us that our marriage was over, he has been out with his buddies drinking his liver away.... is this a way of coping? of forgetting? of telling me "hey, im on my way to single check me out!" I dont get it!!!! ow do I react to this?


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Hey, Shelly,

why would he have to drown his sorrows....he's the one who doesn't want to stay in this relationship....

You gave him enough chances to work on you marriage and he refused....

I think he's just enjoying his single life now....

As hard as it is, I think that's all it is....

Unless he's showing you in other ways that he might have had a change of heart, I really think he's moving on....

Try to ignore it....it's best for you to concentrate on your own life now......


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

It kills me to know that he is out with a mutual guy friend and 2 chicks..... i mean seriously? It is killing me inside and i hate it....i dunno how to react to it.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Do you have any single girl friends ???

If you do, go out with them....

Have fun....drink some....flirt....laugh....

Girl....if you lived around here, I would so go out partying with you !!!!!! :smthumbup:


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

I have a couple single girlfriends and have gone out partying....but when your head is still in "god I wish this would all work out" mode, it sux coming home...BUT I do have a good time when I go out.

Yes, if I lived in Texas I'd say lets paint the town red! LOL


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## Marigold (Oct 29, 2010)

I think girls and guys react in different ways to a break up. Same as you Shelly, my husband is going out LOTS and 'carrying on as normal', he has been out with friends, dancing etc etc I have to use SUPERHUMAN willpower to divert my mind from him being with another woman.

It KILLS me too, its just sooooo painful, I just what to go crazy mad and scream, thats my HUSBAND!!!!!! WTF do you think you're doing etc etc 

I think he is hurting a lot inside but his way of dealing with the pain is to distract and go out and meet people, I think he is avoiding stopping and thinking cos he can't deal with it. I think it's just a very different way of coping to mine.

I agree that focusing on yourself and things you like, is the best way of dealing with it....whatever stuff feels right for you...I don't know you but for me, it's too hard to go out partying big time, I can't fake it to that level.....my head and my heart aren't in the right place, no way....but I did go out to a dance class and dancing with other guys was real hard....I had a MASSIVE unbearable sadness afterwards when I thought of my husband and how he doesn't want me anymore....

but I'm going to keep trying little by little, just take it at your pace...do what you can cope with, don't force it and don't think too hard about him 'moving on' - its all 'empty' and meaningless anyway, he may be hurting just as bad as you on the inside....


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## lovexlife (Feb 21, 2011)

Shelly, I feel for you. I had a similar situation with my ex. When we were together, he never wanted to do anything. I'd ask to go out & he would say he "didn't have the money", and he "didn't like drinking" but as soon as we broke up, he was out at the bars every single night with his friends. After that, probably 3 or 4 of my friends would come to me on random occasions, and be like "We saw (ex bf) at (This Bar) on Friday, with (girl he insisted he wasn't cheating on me with for 2 yrs) " So i do think guys and girls handle it differently; girls sit and dwell, guys move on and look for something else. youre obviously A better person than he is


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Shelly,
Unfortunately, I think this is a popular way for men to move on. My husband did the same thing awhile ago. We are still married and suddenly there were all these photos on facebook of him getting plastered with all these other women. 
But, recently my husband came back to see me to say he wants to work it out. And now I don't know how to take this. I don't realle sense any sincerity.
All I can say to you, is that you do have to really let go of what is going on in his life right now. If you keep getting info on him etc, it will only continue to break your heart. By dwelling on this, you are making it impossible for yourself to attempt to move on. And it does take a long time. It took me 2 mos. just to start trying to worry about what Im doing everyday. Who Im going to see. If you don't start focusing on yourself, you're going to drive yourself crazy.
I know, Ive done it. But you can get past this. One day at a time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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