# Going through divorce and just learned that I'm pregnant.



## WifeyRes (Mar 19, 2012)

I'm going through divorce as I have mentioned on my previous posts that I have filled for Divorce.

I missed my periods in Jan I though maybe I have a lot of stress cause my periods are not always on time. I did a pregnancy test which came back positive I couldn't believe my eyes 
I was confused and cried a lot cause I cannot deal with having another child not now.

I was on loop and apparently it moved I must have gotten pregnant around the time when I still hoped he will change cause we did get together end of Dec 2014. biggest mistake.

I'm still leaving no doubt but how do I get get pass this, I know I put myself in this situation *teary*


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I had to google what "loop" was; I've never heard of it referred to that way. In case anyone else wonders, it is an IUD.

I'm so sorry . If you were on birth control, you really shouldn't be putting so much pressure on yourself for "putting yourself in this situation." It also takes two to tango . Lots of people connect physically in the midst of a break-up. It happens a LOT.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I'm so very sorry that you're going through this and that this has happened to you at such an inopportune time!

As is, if or when the D proceeds, and in addition to any alimony for you and/or other child support that you might be entitled to, you must have your attorney ask the court for medical insurance for both you and your recently conceived child for such time that your health is totally regained from the effects of your pregnancy.

Largely because your H was a material participant in this this childs conception and that the conception occurred while the two of you are legally married to each other, he has absolutely no remedy to shirk his paternal duty as the child's father! No court, on it's very worst day, would rule otherwise!

Best of luck to you, my dear!*


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## WifeyRes (Mar 19, 2012)

Sorry In South Africa they refer to it as loop ppl understand quicker than when you say IUD. 

I feel like I'm in this alone cause my soon to be ex, was forcing me to go to the doctor to get checked I told him I was not ready , I told him I will go when I'm ready cause I told him I'm under a lot of stress and I can't deal with this right now. so to not be selfish I did do a pregnancy test during that time to satisfy his curiosity and I told him to keep it to himself cause I'm not ready to find out. The main reason I did this is because I was under a lot of stress at home (divorce) at work I was going to interviews and I thought finding out might destruct me cause I really needed to get a job for my exit plan.

So now because I didn't want to go to the doctor when he wanted me to , he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. 

So yah I'm kind of on my own on this one.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

WifeyRes said:


> Sorry In South Africa they refer to it as loop ppl understand quicker than when you say IUD.
> 
> I feel like I'm in this alone cause my soon to be ex, was forcing me to go to the doctor to get checked I told him I was not ready , I told him I will go when I'm ready cause I told him I'm under a lot of stress and I can't deal with this right now. so to not be selfish I did do a pregnancy test during that time to satisfy his curiosity and I told him to keep it to himself cause I'm not ready to find out. The main reason I did this is because I was under a lot of stress at home (divorce) at work I was going to interviews and I thought finding out might destruct me cause I really needed to get a job for my exit plan.
> 
> ...


What did he think was going to happen if you went to dr. sooner? You can't unring this bell. Well, I guess you technically can.....does/did he want you to terminate?


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## WifeyRes (Mar 19, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> What did he think was going to happen if you went to dr. sooner? You can't unring this bell. Well, I guess you technically can.....does/did he want you to terminate?


I don't know cause he kept pressuring me into having a child before this which is why I was on prevention ((I told him I cannot have a child not now) and he used to make comments like if I were to get pregnant that means I'm stuck with him. Now I'm not the vulnerable person I used to be and I'm strong and he can't control me anymore and I think he is trying to punish me for that.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Handle it one day at a time. Split everything up into what you can handle in a healthy enough way. Gather a support system around you. It is okay to ask for help. People who are close to you and care about you want to help you. Use them as a resource and simply be thankful, perhaps one day you can return the favor. Just do not be to prideful to ask for help, that would be folly on your part.

Good luck, and do not let his threats phase you. He does not have control over you so he has to resort to something. He wants to give you a bleak future and use it as a scare tactic to reel you in. Be smart, and do some research on what your options are. If your country has any programs to help you out.


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## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

Is abortion an option? If the answer is no, you will be fine. You have come a long way and your situation is not unique. You will love your child no matter what, hopefully he steps up and takes responsability. He may bluster now, once your child is born, that is another story.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So sorry that you have even more on your plate.

You are strong and you do what you need to.


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

I know that you are upset and scared, but the first thing I want to do is say "Congratulations!".

Your baby will bring you a kind of joy you have never experienced before. Take it from me, a single mother who is separated, living alone with my two year old: her smile makes everything that I went through, worth it. She is the biggest blessing in my life.

On to the next piece of business: Your soon to be ex husband CANNOT shirk his responsibilities. Make sure you get child support from him. The courts will support you.

Everything will be OK. We don't know how strong we are, until we have no other choice.


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## WifeyRes (Mar 19, 2012)

Observer said:


> Is abortion an option? If the answer is no, you will be fine. You have come a long way and your situation is not unique. You will love your child no matter what, hopefully he steps up and takes responsability. He may bluster now, once your child is born, that is another story.


not an option. thinking about it now I think it's better I'm on my own. Yesterday he was giving our daughter silent treatment and there was a time where my daughter kept on saying sorry daddy I think 8 times and he just ignored her after a couple of times then he said okay like he was punishing her. I think it will be good for the kids if he keeps out.


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