# Need help and advice



## oedriveron (Jan 5, 2011)

Okay, my divorce has finally gone through but I feel devastated, empty, alone, sad, and the list goes on. This is something that I never even wanted. The only reason I got a divorce is because she cheated on me and left me for some other guy, so I went behind her back and got divorced w/o her knowledge. It had to be that way since she would have never given me the divorce because according to her IT'S ALL MY FAULT. How about that? I guess I put a gun to her head and told her "sleep with him and leave me for him or I shoot," right?

Anyways, we're now divorced and I know she's already dating someone and nothing I do makes that stop bothering me. So, what can I do to help me move on? Please throw in here any and everything that helped you if you went through this.


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

I'm sorry you're here. I am in sort of the same boat. Separated because of my H's choice to cheat and lead me on for several months before he got busted. I'm now in the position where divorce is inevitable and necessary. I feel sad and lonely and rejected and all the rest of it too. But, at the same time, I am starting to get through it. Even though we have kids together, I have detached myself from him and am starting to see the man that he's evolved into. He is someone that I would not choose to be in my life. That should be your mantra - I do not choose you. Individual counseling has also helped me a lot - I would encourage anyone to do it. It helps to understand the mind frame of the cheaters and to understand your own emotions. Unfortunately, you have to go through this to get to the other side. The good news is that you will get there. It'll take time, but you will get there. Hang in.


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