# Mixed Emotions...



## Hamster2 (Aug 6, 2012)

I guess I just need someone to talk to this morning...

So, after finding out some traces of her affair(s) in July, then, mid August, her admitting she had actually slept with the one guy since March or May last year, D-Day came in swiftly and hard. The story is elsewhere on this board.

Now, she is finally moving out this coming week-end, but...

I find I'm having mixed emotions about everything, thinking about the good times we had before this crap occurred, thinking of all the pain she has put me through since her admission to cheating, thinking of all she has destroyed by her decisions and actions.

Man, I feel like crap today...

Thanks for "listening"...


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Start working on yourself develop some new hobbies exercising or working out helps better than anything plus it will increase your self esteem. we connect with old friends and or make some new ones try to stay out of the bars and have you made a decision about what you would like to do divorce or Reconcillation ?? 

Good Luck


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## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

You're in the bargaining stage of grief. You'll probably go through all the stages, anger too, and eventually acceptance. Don't glamorize your old life. It's okay to grieve it, but keep foremost in your mind that someone who loves you would not cheat on you repeatedly and leave you. You have value and this person treated you terribly. If you need to, look at the evidence now and then and let that anger fuel you forward. I'm not saying be bitter. I'm saying look at what it IS not what you wish it would be (or once was). 

Maybe this post might help you, about moving on: Dear Chump Lady, How Do I Move On?

Hang in there. The pain is finite. And it gets better.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Just like in any death there is grieving and yes this is a death...a death of a marriage and just like when the ones we love pass away we move on and live.

You will also move on and its up to you on how long you want to grieve versus when you want to start living. 

You will make it brother, we all do!


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## Hamster2 (Aug 6, 2012)

In The Wind...

A few weeks ago, I started to go to the gym, 3x a week. It helps a bit to get my mind off the situation, although, the trainer is a tough mama, getting me to push my limits every times. As for bars, well, I have not set a foot in bar in... 15 or 20 years. I have no idea how cruising would be like today!  Beside, I have a 4 year old to take care of, so I only have one beer after she is in bed in the evening, after two beers, I start to feel sleepy.  After all I discovered, I cannot see how there could ever be a chance of reconciliation. Divorce will be the only solution, she is too narcissist and selfish.

ChumpLady...

Thanks for the words of encouragement, you did get me to shed a tear or two.  That is a very interested blog you have there. Nice work!

The Guy...

Thanks for the encouragement. Indeed, it is/I am mourning all that has been wasted. When my first daughter passed away in 1997, I thought that it was the worse thing I could experience in life. Well, this crap sure sits right beside it, or next in line at the very least. I am hopeful that things will get better once she is out of the house and I can deal with everything properly without holding back because she or the little one are in the house.

Thanks for "listening"...


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