# His Anxiety is destroying our relationship



## devotedheart (Feb 24, 2012)

First of all, sorry for the long thread.. I have only been dating my boyfriend for 4 months, but from the beginning, we have felt a strong connection. Talked about marriage pretty quickly.. I am madly in love with him. We have a great relationship, besides all this anxiety that is getting in the way. He is insecure, and gets mad at me any time my jeans show any crack. Gets mad about guys "liking" my pictures on Facebook. And when I post on there that I or my daughter is sick, he lets it bother him, cuz thinks I am looking for sympathy. When he his anxiety gets the best of him, I try to talk to him about the issue, but he automatically assume I am lying, cuz hes been ruminating on an issue, and is stubburn and wont let it go, he has no reason to just assume I am lying. And the subject will go on for hours. Like yesterday for instance, it went on for like 4 hours. and even after we stopped talking about it.. Doesn’t feel like to me anything was resolved.. When he gets like this to, he tries to break up with me, and after hours or days, I can talk him out of it.. And when hes in his better moods, he says he would be heartbroken, if I did want to break up. But, I am getting frustrated, and although I don't want to break up, dealing with all the stress he gives, sometimes, I want to go along with him breaking up with me, but I do love him. Its been putting me in a pissy mood lately, that the past couple times, when he does visit me, I havent been in a good mood, been drained.. and even if my bad mood, just means I am more quiet than usual, he starts with his anxiety. He usually leaves my house when this happens. And tells me he will call the cops, if I come anywhere near his house.. But we have talked about him moving in with me soon. Like April or May.. But IDK if things are going to get better or worse if he does.. He loves me, said hes never felt the way for anyone the way he does with me. We are both in our 30's. Says I am his soul mate, and what hes been looking for.. but then he breaks up with me over trivial things? Got mad the other day, cuz I wouldn't pay for us to eat a dinner at a restaurant. Which he pays most the time, but I do sometimes too.. He says he always likes to pay.. but then why is he getting upset? I didn’t want to, cuz he’s been so greedy with his money. He won 1,000 at a casino.. I won $40, and cuz he gave me money to spend, he took that money back.. So that upset me.. That’s why I didn’t want to pay for dinner. He accuses me of being all about money, cuz I want to have a shared bank account when we get married. I have never been about money, and frankly don't care about how much money he makes.. He is on a few medications.. but doesn’t take some sometimes, cuz it makes him unable to perform in bed. When he does take it, it calms him down.. He says he knows the tools to get out of an anxiety situation, but I don’t feel like he often uses them. And doesn’t do the things he says hes going to do next time he has an anxiety attack. Like calming down before talking to me. So he can think reasonably.. his anxiety makes him not think so reasonably, so it makes it hard to have a convo, and like I said they often last for hours, when they are little things.. even after I apologize, if I did do something wrong. I am not sure what to do. I want to help fix it, and prevent things from happening.. any advice ?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

He doesn't suffer from anxiety, your boyfriend is jealous and insecure. Infact he might be bipolar. First of all he needs to take his medication. Whether you prioritize his performance in bed over the way he treats you is up to you but regardless, sporadically taking medicine significantly reduces its efficiency and will only exasperate his problems.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

i know this thread has been on here for a while but please i beg you do not marry him. Break up with him and move on. I married someone like that but he has completely ruined my life. My kids lives and my dignity and self esteem are no more. They are like the walking dead.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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