# Separation, depression



## Carolyn (May 4, 2021)

About 7 months ago I left my husband of 44+ years. We were renovating a float House for the last four years. We have financial issues, anger and controlled issues. During these years I had to take stress leave from work, deal with a sick mom, as did my husband. Both mom's passed near the end of four years. We had a great mom & a very difficult mom. My husband family do not get along especially when it comes to money. Any way my controlling perfectionist husband has to have his instructions followed or you will be lectured for hours/ days and brought to tears. This has happened many times. But the last three weekends pushed me to the end. We both kept saying ,this has to stop. Well I made it stop by leaving. Since he hadn't worked for the last 20 years only I could afford to leave. After being separate for two weeks my husband turned from porn sites to teasedistricts and miltiple dating and sex apps. plus how to meet women apps paying more $800+ for these services and then asked what I was paying for was told counsellors.
Which I accepted at the time as he truly seemed like he was trying to get me back. When actually if it was for covid he would have actively had sex with multiple women. While saying he's true to me and wants our marriage and me. That this float home was our dream to share together. Yet this float home was killing us and financially burying us. Many friends advised paying to have it finished but my husband wouldn't. Anyway back at the marina the story was told I was very sick and had to leave. In January I tried to return weekends only ask I couldn't be there during construction times. I should have read the signs then my husband made out very difficult for me to return. But had changed enough to allow me to build friendship with our neighbors. 4 months of this and him asking when I'm coming back. He keeps setting dates for my return but I am hesitate as no thing really has changed. Talks are difficult and he wants his way. I just want peace, the float House done so we can live there. After all this time the electrical, plumbing and living area are undone or packed with so many tools and stuff you can't get anything done but get frustrated.
I finally gave him a target date till finish the rank and bring me home full time. He took it as a threat and blackmail. He said I didn't choose any of the dates he had given me ( saddly I had foggotten them) and had made the timeline passed his acceptable date. We are done he says. This was not my plan to have us just float home done. I am sad as he can be a great guy with big heart. Or his can be a controlling sob that can't stop himself once he gets angry.
He can go on for hours and days like his mother did. I still love him deeply but may have to give him up for my mental and emotional health .😒
I don't have any close friends as he would make me choose him over them if I truly loved him.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Plan your escape and leave him. Why are you going through this torture?


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