# New Here...



## Lonely2020 (Feb 23, 2020)

A little bit shy...


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Welcome -- post when you can. There are plenty of good people here who can help out...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Yeah, me too...

How can TAM folks help you.


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## Lonely2020 (Feb 23, 2020)

*New Here...okay here goes*

So, I have been in a relationship for the past four years and overall the man I’m with has proven to be selfish, lazy and childish. He has done a lot of things in the past to undermine my trust in him, including sexting his ex, giving me the silent treatment and refusing to have sex with me. I am currently 6 weeks postpartum and he accuses me of not trusting him enough to leave him with the baby. He doesn’t even putting his things away after using them . Even after I’ve sang the clean up song! JK But, seriously as time goes on, I’m finding it harder and harder to want to communicate and have sex with him. Physically, he overweight, balding, with big man boobs. Not sexy and yet despite all!!! Despite all of that I still forgave him and wanted to make it work and found a way to be sexually attracted to him and try to forge a bond. However, this postpartum me resents his current and past mistreatment towards me. I feel emotionally distant, drained and alone. I’ve tried talking to him and it just results in his blaming me for his negative behavior. I’m starting to feel trapped and depressed.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

*Re: New Here...okay here goes*



Lonely2020 said:


> So, I have been in a relationship for the past four years and overall the man I’m with has proven to be selfish, lazy and childish. He has done a lot of things in the past to undermine my trust in him, including sexting his ex, giving me the silent treatment and refusing to have sex with me. I am currently 6 weeks postpartum and he accuses me of not trusting him enough to leave him with the baby. He doesn’t even putting his things away after using them . Even after I’ve sang the clean up song! JK But, seriously as time goes on, I’m finding it harder and harder to want to communicate and have sex with him. Physically, he overweight, balding, with big man boobs. Not sexy and yet despite all!!! Despite all of that I still forgave him and wanted to make it work and found a way to be sexually attracted to him and try to forge a bond. However, this postpartum me resents his current and past mistreatment towards me. I feel emotionally distant, drained and alone. I’ve tried talking to him and it just results in his blaming me for his negative behavior. I’m starting to feel trapped and depressed.


Just wondering, how did this kid come about? Was this planned? Did both of you feel this was something you were looking forward to happening? Could you imagine, before becoming pregnant, being with this guy for life? If you felt this way and didn't have a kid, would you still be with him?

Over the past 4 years did he become selfish, lazy, childish, overweight & balding, or were those "qualities" there from the start? What attracted you to him (and him to you) in the first place?

Could you raise a kid by yourself?

Kind of harsh questions, I know, but maybe we can get past a lot of the exploratory stuff and get to the heart of the problem more quickly that way.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Talk to him. Give him a chance to have a come with Jesus moment. If he doesn’t have that moment and doesn’t change then goodbye.


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