# Am I reading to much into her actions?



## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

Hello ladies-

I'm hoping someone can help me figure this out, because I am at the end of my rope here.

W and I seperated a month ago. She gave me the usual "I love you but not in love with you" line, that she is 100% certain that she wants a divorce and went to bed. The next day the wedding rings were off.

After giving her some time to cool off, we had our first real discussion on Valentine's day. She told me the same thing, but did not give me any reasoning behind it. We are still living together, but in spereate rooms. I asked her if the only reason she is dealing so well is that she knows that at the end of the day that I would still be here, waiting for her. She cried and said maybe. I asked her if she even wanted to feel the way about me that she used to, and she said that if she could it would be great.

A few days later we went to a concert and did some gambling at a casino. Throughout the entire night we got along great, and I coaught her referring to me by as "babe, hun, etc." a few times, and she even gave me a look that she used to give me when she wanted to kiss me. THe following day we both had things to take care of, but when I got home she was cooking me dinner. We laughed and watched a few movies, and I swear at one point she was playing footsie with me under the blanket. At another point I caught her making a kissy face at me across the room, but se quickly covered it by making bubbly noises with her lips...

All of this gave me more hope than I think was warrented. I recieved a blocked phone call the other day, where a man simply said "your wife is having an affair" and hung up. I've always trusted her, and we have had a very honest and open relationship, so I thought she would tell me the truth. When I confronted her on it, no in a mean way, just simply asked her if that was the case, said no and demanded I tell her who said that. She doesn't believe that I don't know who it was. This led to another converation where she reiterated what she said before, and that the pet names and kissing faces where just "forces of habit."

At this point I was pretty devastated and said that if she really had no desire to work on us, that I didn't see a point in staying in the apartment, that I was to hurt and that trying to see her and live with her simply as a friend was to much for me to handle at the time. I mean, I went from having a wife to a roomate in les then 24 hours. She gave me excuses as to why I shouldn't leave. I said that the only way I would stay is if she agreed to go to counseling with me. She said it might do her good to talk to someone, and reluctantly agreed.

Sorry for the long background there. To sum it up, I feel that if she was 100% serious about the divorce, that I would have had seperation papers in front of me by now, that we would not still be living together, that her "slips" wouldn't be happening, and that we wouldn't be getting along as well as we have. I also would like to think that she would not be contacting me through text messages or phone calls, unless it was really important. IT seems everyday I get a text telling me that her drive to work was clear, or asking if I'd be home that night, wouldn't happen. She wouldn't be cooking for me, or doing my laundry. While at home, she initaties all the conversations and small talk. Yet, she has been staying at her mothers at least a night or two a week, and tends to go out all weekend. 

What is going on here? Am I reading into it to much, or are my hopes some what justified? She says one thing, but than her actions lead me to believe something else entirely. The not wearing her rings and going out are definitly a shot to the gut, but everything else tells me that she's not completely gone yet...

Anyone?


----------



## slappy (Feb 10, 2010)

It sounds to me like she may be having an affair but still loves you. Do you know on the nights she is staying with her mother that she is actually there? She may be torn between her love for you and her desire to have someone else. With the random phone call and the other stuff it is likely. However, if that is the case and you are willing to forgive her then her actions may be an indication that there is hope, if that is what you want. Counselling and some heart to heart talks may really help. Relationships can be so confusing sometimes. What ever is going on I wish you the best.


----------



## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

To me and I am sorry to say it seems like she had an affair but she realized or something happened to know that isn't what she wants. Maybe she realized then you are more then a bunch of pictures to burn. I dont know you two need counseling.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

She wants to have you support her while she cheats on you. Pretty common for a cheater. 

Oh, and cheaters LIE. _Very well._


----------



## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

Shortly after my first post I made the discovery of sent messages to an ex boyfriend, all the proof I needed. I promptly tossed her out on her @$$. Thanks for the input, it helped to shed some light on my situation.

And you weren't kidding. Cheaters do lie. Very well indeed. The fact that she could look me dead in the eye and say that there was no one else makes me sick.


----------

