# Want to WOW my wife!



## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

You all can look in my thread history to see that my wife and I had a pretty crappy sex life until around the beginning of the year. I rewrote a lot of what I wrote in a letter to her (minus a lot of stuff) and expressed to her how important sex is to me and WHY it's so important to me. After years of blowing me off, she seems to have finally gotten it. We now have sex 1 - 3 times per week and have for since around the beginning of the year.

The problem now is that it's getting to be kind of stale. Me on top, her on top, blow job, eating her out. She's not really into doggy style because for some reason she just can't get the body mechanics of it down. 

Do any of you, especially the ladies here, have any good tricks I can use to WOW her in the sack? So far I've varied the rhythm of sex, used my penis to stimulate her clit (she likes this...a lot...calls it "dangerous") and played with her clit while she rides me. The problem is that this has become sort of formulaic.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Ramp up the flirting and teasing and affection outside the bedroom. That will bring more fun and passion in your bedroom.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_
Nothing is more sexy to me than when my H flirts and teases me all day long either through texts, emails or phone calls. I can't help but get excited about jumping his bone later!


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

norajane said:


> Ramp up the flirting and teasing and affection outside the bedroom. That will bring more fun and passion in your bedroom.


Already ramped up the affection outside the bedroom - if you read one of my original threads this was a HUGE issue with me. She used to push me away but now at least she's more receptive to it and has been working hard at being affectionate towards me. It's still not where I want it to be or where I think it should be, but it's light years ahead of what it used to be.

As far as flirting goes, she's not really a flirty person. Kind of ignores it, which is fine, I'm not to flirty either.

Now, when it comes to teasing, again, she's not really receptive to it unless it's in the bedroom and we're getting it on. I've gotten her to tease me a few times (some revealing pics via text message when I'm not home) but as far as me teasing her, she's not interested.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Try some flirying during the day. Surprise her with a message with a little forplay mixed in. Try 69 position
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Having sex 3x a day with my wife in the past led to some seriously dull routine. I agree with the ladies, you need to focus on the non-sexual aspects of romance. However you mentioned that she's not receptive.

If you don't mind and if it's not too personal, what kind of flirts/teases do you give her?


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Having sex 3x a day with my wife in the past led to some seriously dull routine. I agree with the ladies, you need to focus on the non-sexual aspects of romance. However you mentioned that she's not receptive.
> 
> If you don't mind and if it's not too personal, what kind of flirts/teases do you give her?


I'll tell her how much I love her, caress her chest or pat her butt, give her a massage, kiss her neck, that sort of stuff. She likes these things...a lot, but she's just not very sex-savy if that makes sense. 

I'm the only guy she's ever been with and the only serious relationship she's ever had. So it's not like she had a lot of experience before me.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

Smack her in the arse and pull her hair while kissing the back of her neck. Manhandle her a little.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hmmm...
It could be she's reserved because she thinks you have a motive (aka sex), possibly? Try make it less obvious and less sexual

When giving her a massage you are in full control of her body, and perfect opportunity to tease her until she can't take it anymore.

Heh or as dubsey mentioned, manhandle her, too much lovey dovey does get dull.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

dubsey said:


> Smack her in the arse and pull her hair while kissing the back of her neck. Manhandle her a little.


I'll second that. Go a little animal on her.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

johnnycomelately said:


> I'll second that. Go a little animal on her.


As a woman I would third that.

How vocal are you in bed? I love it if a man makes noises or growls. I also love it if he talks dirty, but that can turn a woman off big time so you'd have to be careful.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Be confident when you flirt with her, and if she blows you off act like it didn't bother you, and is perfectly normal and natural.

If my man is confident, I feel he means it and its a huge turn on.

I also like him to take charge and tease, and overpower me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

buy her something!!!!!!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

One thing you might what to try is have your sex in different places. Take her to a hotel or better yet get one and tell her to meet you there. When she arrives tell her that she is going to be your little sex slave and then take charge. I will tell you explore some new things. It sounds like she is on the submissive side so take charge be the Dominate one. Blindfolds are great and I love to tie the wife with Velcro ( she can always get free if she desires) but it gives her the feeling of being helpless. Then whisper in her ear that she is not to orgasm without permission and if she does there will be consequences. The set out to drive her crazy with kisses and touches all over hold nothing back.

Bring a MP3 player and head phones so she can not hear where you are in the room. Leave long pauses between touches so she wonders where you are and what your going to do next. If you remove sight and sound the sense of touch will heighten. I leave my wife tied and helpless for a couple minutes between touches and she tells me her mind begins to race as to what I am going to do next.

The greatest sex organ is the mind. Stimulate it and the body will follow. 

Good luck.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

*LittleDeer* said:


> I also like him to take charge and tease, and overpower me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is what I was getting at with the manhandle thing. I had NO IDEA how big of a deal this was. My wife was/is the "good girl" kinda lady. I always treated her as such.

My wife was never a big into PIV. Enjoyed it, yeah, but it wasn't going to get her there. We had a long discussion about it and of course, like most men, I was pretty disappointed.

Then one day we had just some serious crazy "gonna pound you through the bed and through the floor" going on which we never really did before and she made all kinds of crazy noises and end things finally calmed down, we ended up with this conversation:

me: I thought you said it didn't do much for you. Why didn't you tell me this is what you wanted?
her: I honestly didn't know
me: I'm not sure I can do that to you very often. Doesn't feel right.
her: You sure as fvck will and you're gonna like it.
me: oooooooookay.

So, she discovered and has become comfortable(ish) with not being a good girl when the time suits her and her needs. It's been a lot more fun for both of us, thats for dang sure.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Hmmm...
> It could be she's reserved because she thinks you have a motive (aka sex), possibly? Try make it less obvious and less sexual
> 
> When giving her a massage you are in full control of her body, and perfect opportunity to tease her until she can't take it anymore.
> ...


She's a reserved person in general, so whether it's sexual or not that's just her personality. I made it quite clear to her that it's not just sex I need but that I also need to be able to give her physical affection without sex.

I do like the hair pulling idea, never tried that on her but she likes it a lot when I smack, pat, caress her butt.

I guess I'm basically looking for creative ways to wow her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> buy her something!!!!!!


Like what? I buy her flowers every once in a while but I don't want to do it to often because she likes being surprised and I don't want her to come to expect them all the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

This is Hilarious! My H would love that if I said something like that to him. 

:smthumbup:Then one day we had just some serious crazy "gonna pound you through the bed and through the floor" going on which we never really did before and she made all kinds of crazy noises and end things finally calmed down, we ended up with this conversation:

me: I thought you said it didn't do much for you. Why didn't you tell me this is what you wanted?
her: I honestly didn't know
me: I'm not sure I can do that to you very often. Doesn't feel right.
her: You sure as fvck will and you're gonna like it.
me: oooooooookay.

So, she discovered and has become comfortable(ish) with not being a good girl when the time suits her and her needs. It's been a lot more fun for both of us, thats for dang sure.[/QUOTE]


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Wife is almost as tall as I am so traditional doggy is difficult. Try her on different surfaces like the couch or bent over a table. I prefer he laying prone on he stomach with legs together, a little or a lot of oil on her bvtt. Males for a fun slippery ride.

I am partial to the bungee sex swing. An investment for sure and you need a place to install it. Lots of possible positions and you can go at it extremely fast if she wants. I added an electric hoist to make positioning better.


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## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

Have her kneel on the couch facing the back. You behind her


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MeditMike80 said:


> Like what? I buy her flowers every once in a while but I don't want to do it to often because she likes being surprised and I don't want her to come to expect them all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


whips and cuffs of course.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

MeditMike80 said:


> Like what? I buy her flowers every once in a while but I don't want to do it to often because she likes being surprised and I don't want her to come to expect them all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I really think your angle here is to be more bossy and assertive. Lay out something on the bed that you want to see her in with a note "put these on, then come find me".


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

This is a thread I wish my H and I had read waaay back when we first got married. Great stuff here!

It sounds to me like you're trying to find ways to broaden both your wife's and your sexual horizons while at the same time lower her inhibitions and encourage her to also be explorative. I haven't seen one thing posted her that isn't great advice.

I read your other thread and I think you've made some great strides in your marriage. By being honest about what you want and why, you've helped her take the steps necessary to meet you on the path. Bravo, you brilliant and wonderful husband you!

Be sure that you are also communicating with your wife, outside the bedroom, about how the increased affection, sex and intimacy makes you feel her love for you and try to get her feedback to ensure she is also feeling your love for her. 

From your other thread, a thought I wanted to share was that if you are so much more "full of life" and better at expressing yourself than she, you may be inadvertently, driving her even more underground due to the fact that she can't possibly keep up with you. So remember to point out everytime she expresses a thought, insight, or idea that you hadn't thought of, reinforcing her confidence in her own thoughts so she'll be more likely to share them.

And if it doesn't work out I have a daughter Id like to introduce you to...


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## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

I think you are pushing it. Be happy with plentiful sex. You might find you plan to up it backfires - she had done an amazing job going from nothing to lots of sex. Sounds greedy to ask for even more. Let it flow!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

dubsey said:


> Smack her in the arse and pull her hair while kissing the back of her neck. Manhandle her a little.


:smthumbup:

I stand corrected. This would be the most sexiest thing my H could do to turn my crank.

Throw her down on the bed and get it on...Woohooo!


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

You might find this thread useful:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/63799-question-you-sex-multiple-times-per-week-people.html


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

StargateFan said:


> Wife is almost as tall as I am so traditional doggy is difficult. Try her on different surfaces like the couch or bent over a table. I prefer he laying prone on he stomach with legs together, a little or a lot of oil on her bvtt. Males for a fun slippery ride.
> 
> I am partial to the bungee sex swing. An investment for sure and you need a place to install it. Lots of possible positions and you can go at it extremely fast if she wants. I added an electric hoist to make positioning better.


I didn't know height came into play with doggy - her and I are also almost the same height.

I've suggested a sex swing before. She said "no" but not in a way where she wouldn't be able to be convinced. I might bring that up again...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

dubsey said:


> I really think your angle here is to be more bossy and assertive. Lay out something on the bed that you want to see her in with a note "put these on, then come find me".


I'm very dominant and assertive but never in a million years would I have thought of that. Will definitely try it out! This is the kind of advice I was looking for - creative and fun!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

KendalMintcake said:


> I think you are pushing it. Be happy with plentiful sex. You might find you plan to up it backfires - she had done an amazing job going from nothing to lots of sex. Sounds greedy to ask for even more. Let it flow!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lol in what world is it greedy to want to wow the pants off your wife and bring some spice to the bedroom? Sorry but no. I'm not going to settle for mediocre sex. If rather have quality over quantity or better yet both. 

It's not that the sex sucks, it's that it's become formulaic and stale. I can tell she feels the same way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

ice, whipped cream, hot wax

role play 

bring home some handcuffs 

make a video tape or take pictures 

masterbate in front of her while you have your other hands fingers inside her

dirty sex throughout the day

bang her in a dressing room at the mall

outdoor sex 

lay a blnaket on the 50 yeardline of a football field

finger **** her when she is driving 

take out your **** when you are driving for her to whatever

blind fold her and tease her not knowing what you will do next

get a power massage tool and some oils 

buy her a new robe and a hot water foot massager

pitch a tent in the back yard and **** her in there 

give her a deck of sex coupons that she can give you whenever she wants for on demand sexual favors. Put some wild ideas in there and see if she turns them in. 

get her some literactica

take her to a sex store 

get her a gift cert for fredericks or vic secret

get her bath bubbles and make up some coupons for whatever

rent a hot car, van or rV and bang her in the back

workout with her and then work her out 

go for a hike and do her in the woods 

take her out and watch other men hit on her and then vuck her in the bathroom, alley or parking lot 

theres a few off the top of my head


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## Sunshine1234 (Aug 20, 2012)

Shower sex!
But when you surprise her and come in - act like she is the most incredible, beautiful thing you ever saw and she WILL perform


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

My H would get one of those remote control vibrators and on road trips he would turn it on or off to tease me. It was fun.

He'd also finger me on the road or I would give him a BJ (unsafe i know)

We went out into the boonies and did it on the tailgate or in the bush (just bring a blanket cause it can get prickly)

He would finger me while I'm on the phone (trying not to make any revealing noises!)

He'd ask me to workout in the nude in front of him...then we'd have our own workout!

AHHH the memories


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here's something...


Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, Nicole Daedone - a recipe for reconnecting emotionally and physically.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

Sunshine1234 said:


> Shower sex!
> But when you surprise her and come in - act like she is the most incredible, beautiful thing you ever saw and she WILL perform


We've actually tried it and neither of us are huge fans. We have a small shower but I told her that when we add an upstairs addition to our house we are going to have a huge walk-in shower.

We actually went to an adult store this evening (first time ever) and she was uncomfortable at first but then got into it. We picked up a blind fold and some of those glow in the dark dice that say acts (blow, kiss, lick, etc...) on one of them and a body part on the other. HER IDEA!


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Lots of great ideas. Sharing fantasies can add fun. 

Read some books and share topics that interest you guys, self help books or romance novels or sex stories.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

My wife recently expressed an interest in spanking of all things. I am sure I have tried it in the past with no response from her, but now she likes it......

I once fell into a pattern of foreplay where I draped an arm over her hip with her on her side, that was extremely effective, I could reach her clit easily and it got her very hot...but she got bored with it and I stopped...The first and only time she said something bored her...

Wowing a woman is a difficult task....My wife has fainted dead away twice from orgasms, and both times the entire act was perfectly ordinary till the finale....Go figure....I caught quite an ego boost both times....

All things considered, sex has too much subtilety and variation to bore me....


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

staarz21 said:


> It sounds like she is coming around and slowly getting a little more comfortable with things. Sometimes, it just takes a little time


Yeah, at first when I told her we were going to the store she was a little put off and didn't really want to go. She did come though and saw that it wasn't as bad as she thought but was a little shocked by all the dildos around the place, lol. 

I don't know if it's something we'll do again anytime soon, but at least I've gotten her to come out of her comfort zone a little...and she definitely enjoyed the rest of the evening.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

lovemylife said:


> Lots of great ideas. Sharing fantasies can add fun.
> 
> Read some books and share topics that interest you guys, self help books or romance novels or sex stories.


She's not a reader, even though she's a teacher. I've thought about getting a book myself, reading it, then summarizing or giving her interesting passages to read. Maybe I could get a book and we could read it together. Who knows, definitely a good idea though. Thanks.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> My wife recently expressed an interest in spanking of all things. I am sure I have tried it in the past with no response from her, but now she likes it......
> 
> I once fell into a pattern of foreplay where I draped an arm over her hip with her on her side, that was extremely effective, I could reach her clit easily and it got her very hot...but she got bored with it and I stopped...The first and only time she said something bored her...
> 
> ...


I do spank her when we're making love and she seems to enjoy it but I don't think it's something that would get her all hot and bothered. 

"Wowing a woman is a difficult task." Oh brother, do you have that right! But I certainly enjoy the challenge!


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

Light candles and sprinkle the bed with rose petals.


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## MeditMike80 (Dec 29, 2012)

curlysue321 said:


> Light candles and sprinkle the bed with rose petals.


As cheesy as it is, I like the rose idea a lot.

Usually when we have sex at night we have a couple candles lit. We both really like the ambiance it gives. It's kind of mysterious and gives just enough amount of light to just see what you want to see and what you're doing.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I would give her the 3 panty gifts like I gave my wife in my first post. It has now been about 6 years, and she still adores this gift. She wore the black swirl panties just last week.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

MeditMike80 said:


> You all can look in my thread history to see that my wife and I had a pretty crappy sex life until around the beginning of the year. I rewrote a lot of what I wrote in a letter to her (minus a lot of stuff) and expressed to her how important sex is to me and WHY it's so important to me. After years of blowing me off, she seems to have finally gotten it. We now have sex 1 - 3 times per week and have for since around the beginning of the year.
> 
> The problem now is that it's getting to be kind of stale. Me on top, her on top, blow job, eating her out. She's not really into doggy style because for some reason she just can't get the body mechanics of it down.
> 
> Do any of you, especially the ladies here, have any good tricks I can use to WOW her in the sack? So far I've varied the rhythm of sex, used my penis to stimulate her clit (she likes this...a lot...calls it "dangerous") and played with her clit while she rides me. The problem is that this has become sort of formulaic.


Yeah go buy a Wild G vibrater or similar!! Watch her make sounds you could only dream of making her make!!

My wife and I communicate, talk, share, are way exploratory in bed, but after using that toy a couple times her exact quote "Is that could be dangerous"

She quivered, squeezed, squirmed, moaned, more it's quite awesome to be around!! 

Whatever you choose have fun!!


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Deviation... keep it interesting. Run the whole gamut from cuffs to roses. Hell, cuffs and roses.

My wife also enjoys the "manhandle" approach quite a bit most of the time. Sometimes the rougher the better. That said, I also know that the week prior to her period she wants slow, steady, bonding love. 

The MMSL describes how female sexual need is based on the ovulation cycle. While I'm sure that every woman is different, I think any husband that doesn't research that element is wearing a blindfold.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

If she isn't too much into reading, you can share the portions that are of interest. I did this for my H so he didn't have to read the entire book. It also was a great way for us to open up the lines of communication. Now it is easier to talk about what we like and desire.

You might try doing a fantasy box. Each of you can write down some of your fantasies or desires and put them into the box. You can then set a time that you share a few ideas out of the fantasy box. 

My H and I have also gone online to adult toy store, our favorite is Welcome to A Place For Passion!. We browse through the products and have purchased some that are of interest. There are so many items of a wide variety, some stimulate laughter and others curiosity. Another great way to expand exploration.

Two of the books that I found really great information in are written by Lou Paget. "How to be a great lover" and "How to give her absolute pleasure." 

I know a lot of women, me included, that like when your partner is assertive. When your partner pushes you against a wall and kisses you like they can't wait any longer and there is nothing they want more, that is awesome. It comes from knowing that you are truly safe, then a bit of domination can be fun. Of course this depends on the women's personality, it could be that she likes to be dominant.


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