# Married 6 months- together 6 yrs and my husband has left.....



## neta303 (Jan 7, 2010)

Where do I start, I have been with my husband 6 yrs and now been married 6 months and we have two beautiful girls, 3yrs and 18 months. We have been having problems from the jump; and have explained to my husband we lack communication, trust and honest. He has cheated on me several times, never have I caught him sleeping with a woman but have caught him talking dirty to them and so now recently we got into a big fight and he left when I was not home and moved. I dont know where he is staying nor does he answer my calls, but doing my research, I found he is already with another girl, who is telling me nothing is going on but my husband is going to her house at midnight... it does not take a genius to figure that one out...

He states it is over and hopes I understand that this time, but is the main one who leaves says all this stuff and then comes back a month or two later. We have been through alot from day and where really close at the begginning and after things happen we drifted... and the more I caught him talking dirty or cheating the more my mind would distance from him, but I advice to him we need to go to counseling and he is not willing. He says its my mouth and how I talk to him and I advise him well why does my mouth go bc u get caught doing stuff and to top it off he got caught talking to women behind my back at work, OH AND WE WORK TOGETHER..... so now I am like where do I go from here..... I am so confused bc I really love my husband and I know he loves me but struggles with alot of problems mentally from having a bad child hood and dealing wiith what the call posttramatic stress, from what I have been told that is when a person still feels like they are living in there past but only in the present. He doesnt believe he needs help but I know he does.... and now this woman he is talking to obviously doesnt care bc she looks at it like we are separated and he is telling her we are getting a divorce... so do I do the same thing he is doing and move on with my life or what do I do??? We have hurt each other alot but I love my husband so much that it hurts so much, my kids are hurting so much bc they dont see him everyday and wake up looking for him and since he was neglected as a child he will neglect them to.... so I dont know what to do??? :scratchhead:


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Sorry you are going through this. It sounds as though he is not willing to commit to you. Even if nothing physical has happened with these other women, he is totally disrespecting you and your marriage by pursuing other women this way.

It almost sounds like a catch-22 ... he flirts ... you find out ... you get angry with him ... he runs away and flirts some more. I know you love him and want him back, but if I were you, I'd stop yelling about what he's doing...I'd simply say 'If we are to be married, I want you fully committed to me...if you cannot do that, we need to go our separate ways.' If he cannot give you what you need, yelling and getting angry won't change him.

Bottom line, when you do talk to him, have a serious talk about your children, his involvement, your expectation on what is best for them...maybe he will realize his choices are affecting them too.


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