# I don’t like sex



## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

I have a problem. I have never been interested in sex and I have never thought sex felt good. To me it’s just a chore to please my husband.

Here’s the backstory....I had sex for the first time when I was 15. I thought I was in love with the guy even though I knew he cheated on me daily. I wasn’t really ready for sex but I did it so maybe he would stay with me. I was on top while “it” went in and then he got on top and finished.. I felt no amazing sensations like I always hear about. I didn’t hurt or feel bad, just not magical in any way. A few months later we had sex again. Again nothing magical. This relationship ended.

I then met my current husband. We had sex about once a week in our teen years. We’ve never been the type to get carried away with it. He loves sex though but I’ve never been a fan. Again with my husband it just don’t feel magical. Or even good. It doesn’t feel bad . Just kinda weird. I mean I can feel his penis going in and out but it’s just not pleasurable. 

I am 31 years old and got with my husband when I was 16. For the past year we have had a completely sexless marriage. He quit asking probably because it was a chore for me. 

I would also like to add that I can please myself and I love vibrators. So there isn’t nothing wrong with me. I’m thinking about going to the doctor and asking for some type of hormone. We do have two children together. Both kids were planned and we only had sex to try to make the babies. 

I do find my husband to be good looking so it has nothing to do with that. I wish I liked sex and think we need to have more of it before we get too old and can’t. I’m afraid I’ll have regrets.

Any advice ?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Yeah teach your husband how to use your vibrator. It isn't all that unusual for women not to orgasm or have magical feelings from PIV. But that is what foreplay, afterplay and sex toys are for. Just as you are participate to make him happy he should be doing something for you. Sex is meant to be interactive. 
Some women are fans of receiving oral but for others it is hit or miss too. Does he give you oral? Use his fingers? vibrator? butt plug? Tried to find your g-spot?
I would suggest you work with him to make sex fun for you and not a chore. He'll like getting more sex and personally I find the orgasms my husband gives me so much more satisfying than self vibrator.

Oh and if you can't find a way to enjoy sex or at least have sex regular you can expect your husband will eventually cheat or leave or stay and become an asshole.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

alliexoxo said:


> I am 31 years old and got with my husband when I was 16.
> 
> I would also like to add that I can please myself and I love vibrators. So there isn’t nothing wrong with me.
> 
> I do find my husband to be good looking so it has nothing to do with that. I wish I liked sex and think we need to have more of it before we get too old and can’t.


Why is it no one thinks people should should naturally know how to work out physics formulas so there for we have physics classes from high school through the doctorate level and we have driver's ed because no one thinks people should instinctively know how to drive a car, but yet we think that inexperienced 16 year olds should be natural-born lovers and just instinctively know how to please and be pleased with their partners from the git go. 

You are likely correct in that there is nothing wrong with you. Your H has just not learned how to push the right buttons and flip the right switches. 

And you may not what buttons and switches you need flipped yourself but if you at least have some idea, you really do need to try to communicate that with your H. 

Many people think that a penis inside a vagina should be this "magical" experience that is the end-all/be-all of sexuality. ...... it isn't. 

Roughly 75% of women are not able to orgasm through penile penetration alone. And most people, men and women, underestimate the amount and the quality of foreplay needed before the vagina is fully engorged and lubricated enough for truly pleasurable penetration. 

The vagina actually has as much erectile tissue that needs to become "erect" and the tissue engorged to have the flexibility and compliance and excited nerve endings for it to be a pleasurable penetrative experience. 

Many men (and probably some women as well) are completely clueless about the structure, size, shape and importance of the clitoris and have no idea in the ways to treat it. 

If "sex" for you two is feeling each other up until his penis is hard and then you move right in to PIV and he thrusts for two minutes until he is done and then he rolls over to go to sleep, then yeah, you don't enjoy sex because there is nothing enjoyable about that for a woman. Your physiology and sexual response is completely different than his and the porn model of a couple minutes of oral and then moving right in to deep thrusting isn't going to cut it for the vast majority of women. 

My suggestion is to educate yourselves on female anatomy and sexual physiology and sexual response and do some meaningful exploration and experimentation. 

You may even benefit from some sex therapy as both of you may need really to change your whole outlook on what sex is and what actually works for you vs what you think 'should' work.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

...... oh and just because your H is good looking doesn't mean he knows crap about how to arouse, stimulate and pleasure you. 

If Jason Mamoa himself were to just stick it in you the moment he was hard and pumped it to ya for a minute or two and then rolled over and went to sleep, that would leave you just as unimpressed and uninspired and dissatisfied as anything else.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

I know a lot of women who say sex is overrated and a chore, so I don't think you're alone there. Are you depressed at all? It may be hormonal, not sure? Also when you use vibrators etc, do you get off/orgasm from that. I am not trying to be a pervert, but it might help to assess whether it's hormonal or not.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Maybe you could change the title of your thread to:

I don’t like sex......yet


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I think your husband needs to become a much better lover. Will he read? I thought this book was really good: “She comes first”


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Spicy said:


> I think your husband needs to become a much better lover. Will he read? I thought this book was really good: “She comes first”


Another good book is "Come as You Are" for the OP. 

I'll also share with the OP that unfortunately most men grow up getting their sexual education from porn. This can be unfortunate because most of this content is complete fantasy, unrealistic and produced for the person viewing. If porn were realistic and of real educational value most content would be too boring or unsuitable for viewing. Who wants to watch an hour of cuddling and talking that is sometimes needed to establish an emotional connection. Who wants to see a position that does not reveal anything to the camera. 

So odds are you husband needs to be reeducated on how intimacy and pleasure works in a real marriage. You can't just expect him to figure it out all on his own and instinctively know what to do. If you know what you like (vibrator for example), you should talk to him about that. Nothing to be ashamed about. 

Do some reading first as there are a lot of good books out there and then use what is discussed in the book to further a healthy conversation with your spouse. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> Or maybe .... Did you cum?


Yep! I forgot about that one,


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

badsanta said:


> I'll also share with the OP that unfortunately most men grow up getting their sexual education from porn. This can be unfortunate because most of this content is complete fantasy, unrealistic and produced for the person viewing. If porn were realistic and of real educational value most content would be too boring or unsuitable for viewing. Who wants to watch an hour of cuddling and talking that is sometimes needed to establish an emotional connection. Who wants to see a position that does not reveal anything to the camera.
> 
> So odds are you husband needs to be reeducated on how intimacy and pleasure works in a real marriage.


Do you mean if I am delivering pizzas or coming to fix the cable, that I won’t just walk in and there will be some gal laying there in heels and garter belt fingering herself and begging for my junk and after a minute or two of sloppy oral she won’t be ready to wrap her legs over my shoulders and then some vigorous doggy style???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@alliexoxo,

In all the sex you have had over the years, how much attention have your partners put into foreplay and making sure that you enjoy the sex and that you orgasm? My impression is little to none. Is that right?

About 75% of women cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Most women need more than just penetration to orgasm and even to feel much of anything sexually.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I hate picking up dog poop. It is the most disgusting chore in the whole world. I'd rater wash dishes all night than pick up dog crap. 
So, I'm going to get a kennel license and buy 7 dogs . . . . . .


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Mr. Nail said:


> I hate picking up dog poop. It is the most disgusting chore in the whole world. I'd rater wash dishes all night than pick up dog crap.
> So, I'm going to get a kennel license and buy 7 dogs . . . . . .


Umm, wrong thread there maybe Mr. Nail??? 

Or, maybe you hit the Nail on the head. LOL


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*I deleted what has become a thread jack. If you want to discuss the topic, create a new thread and take it there. If you create the thread, I'll move the posts if you all would like.

{Speaking as a moderator}*


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

I’ve discovered that when I found myself thinking things like “I don’t like sex” what I meant was “I don’t like sex with _him_.” And when the magic was over, nothing he could do would make me want to do it with him again.

I love sex. You probably do too. Just not with him.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Sex doesn’t have to be something that happens to you. Take control of the sex, do what feels good to you. If that means going on top or going doggie style and using your vibrator while he penetrates you then do that. 

If I were you, I would take control of the situation and use him to see what feels good for you. That’s what spouses are for. For starters, start out with your breasts. Tell him to touch them, pinch your nipples, suck them etc. and see if that feels good. Then have him put his mouth on your clit. Does it feel good? How about if you move your hips a certain way when his Mouth is on you? Etc etc etc. you need to get in touch with your sexual side and learn what feels good to you.

It’s not his fault if you just go with the flow and let him use your vagina for sex. Your a person too, figure it out.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I think OP is a one and done.


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> I think OP is a one and done.


I’m still here. Just a busy mom of two. Haven’t had time to reply to everyone’s comment yet but I really appreciate them!! I’m even enjoying the other thread that spun off of this one. I’ve gathered from the comments that I need to explore what I like a little better. It’s usually just all about getting him off. The problem is that I’m really shy in bed. Maybe I should start off with drinking some alcohol first. That always takes away the shyness lol


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> Sex doesn’t have to be something that happens to you. Take control of the sex, do what feels good to you. If that means going on top or going doggie style and using your vibrator while he penetrates you then do that.
> 
> If I were you, I would take control of the situation and use him to see what feels good for you. That’s what spouses are for. For starters, start out with your breasts. Tell him to touch them, pinch your nipples, suck them etc. and see if that feels good. Then have him put his mouth on your clit. Does it feel good? How about if you move your hips a certain way when his Mouth is on you? Etc etc etc. you need to get in touch with your sexual side and learn what feels good to you.
> 
> It’s not his fault if you just go with the flow and let him use your vagina for sex. Your a person too, figure it out.


Thank you for taking the time to comment. You’re right, I’m going to try to see what I like and go from there


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> @alliexoxo,
> 
> In all the sex you have had over the years, how much attention have your partners put into foreplay and making sure that you enjoy the sex and that you orgasm? My impression is little to none. Is that right?
> 
> About 75% of women cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Most women need more than just penetration to orgasm and even to feel much of anything sexually.


You are right


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

GC1234 said:


> I know a lot of women who say sex is overrated and a chore, so I don't think you're alone there. Are you depressed at all? It may be hormonal, not sure? Also when you use vibrators etc, do you get off/orgasm from that. I am not trying to be a pervert, but it might help to assess whether it's hormonal or not.


Oh yes I do get off to my vibrators. I think it’s just the fact that I’m shy in bed so I’ve never shared with him what I like 


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> @alliexoxo,
> 
> In all the sex you have had over the years, how much attention have your partners put into foreplay and making sure that you enjoy the sex and that you orgasm? My impression is little to none. Is that right?
> 
> About 75% of women cannot have an orgasm from intercourse. Most women need more than just penetration to orgasm and even to feel much of anything sexually.





alliexoxo said:


> You are right


If that's the case, then no wonder you don't like sex. 

Have you ever talked to your husband about him doing more to help you orgasm and get some enjoyment out of sex?


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

Do you actually want to have sex with a man (or women)? Could you be more on the asexual side?


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Galabar01 said:


> Do you actually want to have sex with a man (or women)? Could you be more on the asexual side?


I used to feel that maybe I was asexual. But I like my vibrator so I think that theory is out. Lol


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

alliexoxo said:


> I used to feel that maybe I was asexual. But I like my vibrator so I think that theory is out. Lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You're not asexual. Asexuals do not spend time and energy on forums about sex. 

Both of you need to step up to the plate here and expand what you think of as 'sex.' 

He simply needs to become a better and more skilled lover and needs to acquire a better stocked sexual toolbox. Playing with your boobs for a minute and then going straight to PIV isn't working for you and so he is needing to expand his sexual repertoire and find what does turn you on and does please and satisfy you. 

You are not off the hook here either. You are going to have to open your mouth and move your lips and actually address this with him. You are going to have to C.O.M.M,U.N.I.C.A.T.E. I am willing to bet the farm that at some point in your life, you have heard that communication in marriage is important. 

The challenge here is getting him to actually listen and get it to sink in that he needs to do more, do some things differently and do them better. 

This is not a Friday night discussion and then fireworks on Saturday. This will be a process and in many ways a lifestyle of more open communication and exploration. 

You may need some professional couple's sex therapy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

alliexoxo said:


> I used to feel that maybe I was asexual. But I like my vibrator so I think that theory is out. Lol


 Have you tried talking to your husband about doing more foreplay and more things to get your turned on and help you have an orgasm? If you have, what is his response?


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> Have you tried talking to your husband about doing more foreplay and more things to get your turned on and help you have an orgasm? If you have, what is his response?


I have not talked to him about it. We are about to leave for a family vacation and I plan on having a talk with him when we get back about our lack of sex life and new things I would like to try. I think one of our issues is we cosleep with our kids so we never have sex. But I think we can sneak into the other room once they go to sleep. Lol


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> You're not asexual. Asexuals do not spend time and energy on forums about sex.
> 
> Both of you need to step up to the plate here and expand what you think of as 'sex.'
> 
> ...


I plan on working on communication. You are right.


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

alliexoxo said:


> I used to feel that maybe I was asexual. But I like my vibrator so I think that theory is out. Lol


Use of a vibrator doesn't mean anything in terms of asexuality. I found this to be a really good source of information:






She was specific in saying that she gets "horny," but compares it to feeling hungry and not really wanting any specific type of food. She also classifies her self as "aromantic," which you don't seem to be.

Can you remember any time in your past when you really wanted sex with someone else? Have you had any time in your past when you actually enjoyed sex (with someone else)?

And, yes, if you were asexual, you would definitely be on forms asking questions about sex...


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

alliexoxo said:


> I have not talked to him about it. We are about to leave for a family vacation and I plan on having a talk with him when we get back about our lack of sex life and new things I would like to try. I think one of our issues is we cosleep with our kids so we never have sex. But I think we can sneak into the other room once they go to sleep. Lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


By cosleep do you mean in the same room or same bed? Either way that does make it difficult. Our son slept with us a lot and even now at 13 he’s crawl in bed with us if we let him.


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Galabar01 said:


> Use of a vibrator doesn't mean anything in terms of asexuality. I found this to be a really good source of information:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Never craved sex with anything but a vibrater. 


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Deepsouthdude said:


> By cosleep do you mean in the same room or same bed? Either way that does make it difficult. Our son slept with us a lot and even now at 13 he’s crawl in bed with us if we let him.


Same bed. It’s a king bed with my husband, my five year old , and my two year old . I know it’s awful lol


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

alliexoxo said:


> Same bed. It’s a king bed with my husband, my five year old , and my two year old . I know it’s awful lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Don’t feel bad, you guys aren’t the only parents who have done this. As long as you recognize it’s not good for your sex life.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

alliexoxo said:


> I have not talked to him about it. We are about to leave for a family vacation and I plan on having a talk with him when we get back about our lack of sex life and new things I would like to try. I think one of our issues is we cosleep with our kids so we never have sex. But I think we can sneak into the other room once they go to sleep. Lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Co-sleep? This by itself is a warning sign, for him regarding you. 

A M is made up as a couple, before they are parents.

Even after becoming parents, and the infant children stages, a couple needs their own space where they can walk around nekkid in front of each other, fall asleep with hands on each other, and all the funny non sexual stuff that goes with the ability to have lighthearted sexual interactions even when just dozing off.

This is a necessity if you want him to think about you as his mate, more, and not as the children's mother.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I think as an assignment you should try to initiate sex during your vacation. And it doesn’t have to be Intercourse. Sometimes doing is better then talking.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

alliexoxo said:


> Same bed. It’s a king bed with my husband, my five year old , and my two year old . I know it’s awful lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



This is a larger problem than you think. It causes many divorces. 

I'd go as far as to say he's given up on the woman he married already. Imho this is not his problem but yours to solve, because it sounds like you may have not been considered the actual relationship but enjoy the non sexual perks.

Kindly, I'd bet there are some signs from H that have started you thinking on all this.

This probably sounds harsh, it's not meant to be.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

It seems you need some encouragement and some lessons in female empowerment and you’re come to the right place!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Who's idea was it to let the kids sleep with you every night for the last five years?

Most commonly it's not the Hs idea to let it happen.

Honestly now.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is a larger problem than you think. It causes many divorces.
> 
> I'd go as far as to say he's given up on the woman he married already. Imho this is not his problem but yours to solve, because it sounds like you may have not been considered the actual relationship but enjoy the non sexual perks.
> 
> ...


Co sleeping can be very cultural. And many people and cultures have no problem pro creating even when children are in the bed with them. How to raise and deal with kids is very personal. 

This thread isn’t about co sleeping. But I hope that the OP has an idea and plan as to when they are going to phase out co sleeping.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> Co sleeping can be very cultural. And many people and cultures have no problem pro creating even when children are in the bed with them. How to raise and deal with kids is very personal.
> 
> This thread isn’t about co sleeping. But I hope that the OP has an idea and plan as to when they are going to phase out co sleeping.


Hey, I didn't bring up the co-sleeping potential source of the problem, just spot lighted it when OP brought it up and OP said it's awful she knows.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Hey, I didn't bring up the co-sleeping potential source of the problem, just spot lighted it when OP brought it up and OP said it's awful she knows.


I agree. I guess to me telling someone not to co sleep is like telling someone not to breast feed. People parent how they see fit. 

But now that I re read everything, I understand you are opening it up because she expressed unhappiness in doing it. ::good vibes  ::


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

alliexoxo said:


> Same bed. It’s a king bed with my husband, my five year old , and my two year old . I know it’s awful lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


NOPE - NOT awful at all!! I did this with all three of my kids and I have absolutely NO regrets! I got plenty of sleep, when all my friends were up all night or letting their tiny children "cry it out" (which is barbaric), and we had plenty of exciting sex after they were all sleeping, all over the house! Lol!!

You are giving your children a GIFT - be proud of it. My kids are awesome emotionally intelligent adults now, and co-sleeping is one of the few things I'm certain I did RIGHT as a parent. GOOD FOR YOU.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> Co sleeping can be very cultural. And many people and cultures have no problem pro creating even when children are in the bed with them. How to raise and deal with kids is very personal.
> 
> This thread isn’t about co sleeping. But I hope that the OP has an idea and plan as to when they are going to phase out co sleeping.


My kids naturally started wanting to sleep in their own beds around 8-9, but it just never mattered to me. If they felt like they needed me, I always made myself available, whenever possible.
Maybe because I still remember sleeping ON THE FLOOR next to my mother's bed when I was 10, because I wasn't allowed in her bed, but I was still scared and needed her near me to feel secure.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> My kids naturally started wanting to sleep in their own beds around 8-9, but it just never mattered to me. If they felt like they needed me, I always made myself available, whenever possible.
> Maybe because I still remember sleeping ON THE FLOOR next to my mother's bed when I was 10, because I wasn't allowed in her bed, but I was still scared and needed her near me to feel secure.


If I had it my way I would sleep with my mom forever. The only time I got to sleep with her was when my dad picked up a late shift on a Saturday, me and my 3 brothers would always sleep with my mom and tell ghost stories and my dad would come home late and sleep on the couch. It’s such a loving fond memory I have of that. 
The other times were when I was sick. I would ask if my mom can sleep in bed with me and she always did. She was the best mom in the world. The only problem is, now that I’m older I’m pretty emotionally needy, especially when I’m sick. And I’m in my mid 30s and I still call my mom to tell her I don’t feel good lol.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> If I had it my way I would sleep with my mom forever. The only time I got to sleep with her was when my dad picked up a late shift on a Saturday, me and my 3 brothers would always sleep with my mom and tell ghost stories and my dad would come home late and sleep on the couch. It’s such a loving fond memory I have of that.
> The other times were when I was sick. I would ask if my mom can sleep in bed with me and she always did. She was the best mom in the world. The only problem is, now that I’m older I’m pretty emotionally needy, especially when I’m sick. And I’m in my mid 30s and I still call my mom to tell her I don’t feel good lol.


What a sweet, uplifting story!!!! I love that!!
As for being emotionally needy now, I would suggest that being denied that attachment to your mother would NOT have prevented you seeking a connection with her in order to cope with feeling bad...it would have decreased your trust in her (like it did for me) and you might be emotionally needy in a destructive way (like I was), instead of knowing HOW to get your needs met.

You certainly seem like a strong, emotionally intelligent woman to me! A little neediness makes you HUMAN, not disadvantaged.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> NOPE - NOT awful at all!! I did this with all three of my kids and I have absolutely NO regrets! I got plenty of sleep, when all my friends were up all night or letting their tiny children "cry it out" (which is barbaric), and we had plenty of exciting sex after they were all sleeping, all over the house! Lol!!
> 
> You are giving your children a GIFT - be proud of it. My kids are awesome emotionally intelligent adults now, and co-sleeping is one of the few things I'm certain I did RIGHT as a parent. GOOD FOR YOU.


My kids always came to my side of the bed in the middle of the night and I always lifted them gently into bed between my wife and I.

It was a normal practice to have all four kids, and our dog, in bed with us during thunder storms. The dog was the biggest baby of the bunch. Bed space wasn't the best though, as we only had a queen size bed. Lol.

Good times, but so long ago now.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

alliexoxo said:


> I used to feel that maybe I was asexual. But I like my vibrator so I think that theory is out. Lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


How often do you use vibrator? I ask because I have known women (an ex being one of them) who used vibrators to an extent over the years prior to meeting me that she essentially became 'desensitised' somewhat to normal/extended foreplay and intercourse.

Similar to how some people can only get off to porn, have you considered the frequency of vibrator use might be contributing to overstimulation?


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Luminous said:


> How often do you use vibrator? I ask because I have known women (an ex being one of them) who used vibrators to an extent over the years prior to meeting me that she essentially became 'desensitised' somewhat to normal/extended foreplay and intercourse.
> 
> Similar to how some people can only get off to porn, have you considered the frequency of vibrator use might be contributing to overstimulation?


I haven’t used it in about a year because I have my kids with me 100% of the time. Basically the same reason we don’t have sex lol. But I used to use it like three times a week. I’m actually wondering if that’s what happened. Or maybe he don’t know how to push the right buttons like everyone else said. Back when my 4 year old was like 2, I could put him in the crib and go have fun . Now I can’t do that lol


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Are you doing the attachment parenting technique?


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

Well in all these posts it’s either physical, mental or the guy has no idea what he’s doing. Reminds of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry (talking about sex) says “ I’m not unskilled...I’m in the union.”

If you watch porn, you’d surmise that women don’t need foreplay, cannot wait to be penetrated because it feels so good, can’t get enough watching a guy climax. And they beg for the guy to cum but not the other way around.

I’m shocked no one has suggested a sex therapist yet. I’ll be perfectly honest, he won’t admit this but you’re losing him WRT emotional intimacy. What he hears/sees is “I dislike your primary means of expressing love towards me.” I’d give up asking too if I was him. Most guys take pride in getting their partners off. 

See a sex therapist as a couple as the DIY-route will make you adversaries by default.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Galabar01 (Mar 20, 2019)

alliexoxo said:


> Never craved sex with anything but a vibrater.


Well, that is interesting. That sounds very much like what is in the video and what I've seen elsewhere.

It could be the case that this will never "get better." It may just be who you are.

Question: if this is who you are, would you want your husband to remain celibate for the rest of his life? Would you feel guilty doing that to him?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

alliexoxo said:


> I haven’t used it in about a year because I have my kids with me 100% of the time. Basically the same reason we don’t have sex lol. But I used to use it like three times a week. I’m actually wondering if that’s what happened. Or maybe he don’t know how to push the right buttons like everyone else said. Back when my 4 year old was like 2, I could put him in the crib and go have fun . Now I can’t do that lol
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


At some point when the pandemic ends, you can send your kids off to summer camp. In the mean time are there any family that can give you some babysitting time once every week or so? How about a close friend who you can bring them and their children into your Covid-19 bubble, so you can have an occasional free day in exchange for taking care of her kids once n a while?

good luck.


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