# For the Kids.. Broken Marriage or Dysfunctional Marriage??



## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

We see it in posts all the time.. Which is better for kids in the long run? Obviously if the situations were perfect we could pick one or the other but facts are they change.. There is a huge difference in one marriage to another. I am a believer that you must exhaust every method with your spouse before you throw it away. I do believe there are certain things that should end a marriage like Affairs, Abuse whether drugs or physical.. These are marriage killers. Now if a divorce between both parties is both civil.. Then it might be ok for the children cause they would work together. Yet facts are either one or both parties are hurt. That causes conflict. I have a guy at work who had a rough marriage. He ended up in divorce and now sharing the custody of their one child.. The issues were never eseeing eye to eye. Now as they do this apart its worse cause the remarks have hurt feelings attached.. I hear it everyday from him. The daught knows this and has to be subject to it. It could be something like the husband and daughter go out to do something. The mother doesn't approve and they have a little spat between each other. Too me this is the same as if they were married. Plus you also teach them you can always run away when times get tough. Which I believe is why divorce is so high. My state used to have an 18 month cool off period before.. Now that was thrown out. I think that is wrong... 


As for staying together for the kids sake.. If the two parents do not work on their differences you are teaching them to be miserable and not show them a good family life together. Again it depends on how bad the marriage is.. If the parents are still civil and doing things together it can be alright. If they sleep in seperate bedrooms and don't do anything the kids pick up on that. Still at least both parents are in their kids life everyday. Both able to do what they want with them.. When they want too. So I guess what I am saying is people when they get married do not take their vows seriously. They say for better or worse but when the for worse piles up guess what happens. I would love to hear the opinions of others....


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

It would be better for the kids to be in neither situation, IDEALLY.. but life is far from ideal.
Would also be good if people didn't start having kids until married some time...
these days I see all kinds of situations, some women have kids, and no plans to marry. Many people have kids and marry for many different reasons, most of which are not good ones.

but of the 2 situations you listed, it would be better for the kids to have parents who divorced than live with parents who are dysfunctional people in a bad relationship.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

preso said:


> but of the 2 situations you listed, it would be better for the kids to have parents who divorced than live with parents who are dysfunctional people in a bad relationship.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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