# How do I deal with this?



## Marigold32 (Nov 24, 2013)

A week ago I posted about my marriage breaking down and me getting divorced and being married three times....I got some valuable advice.
My husband soon to be ex works abroad, we've been married two years with an 11 month old son. He has abused me emotionally by cheating, lying and saying mean words to me. Last night I found out that the reason he didn't want me to visit him or him coming home and all that sudden horrible behaviour is because he lives with another woman. He normally switches off his phone about 10pm. I can't contact him or anything until morning. Last night just randomly I called around midnight the phone was on and a woman answered. I asked who the hell she was but she was speaking Finnish, she didn't understand a word in English. So he grabbed the phone from her and pretended as of he didn't understand what I was saying and then hung up. I kept ringing but he didn't answer.. So after the fifth call the woman answered again and was speaking Finnish again. We didn't understand each other and he was just in the background mumbling. I suspected he was telling her that it might have been a wrong number. So I called out his name and the woman just screamed at him and it sounded like they were pushing each other and I heard her crying in the background. I was shaking like a leaf. So shocked. All my suspicions were confirmed. I rang again and started swearing at him and to my dismay he said after marrying me he realised I was too ugly for him. He said the pretty, modern and fashionable women out there are just not in my league and too good to ignore to get stuck with an old fashioned ugly woman like me. 
He said as a 32 years old with a masters degree I should be more fashionable. He said the woman in the background is not even my class. This is my HUSBAND saying saying these things to me. I sacrificed everything. Gave him my all. 
I cried my eyes out all night. I tried to stop my tears from falling as I don't think he is worth it but I just can't help the pain and betrayal. This is the man who promised me the the universe. He would kiss the floor I walk on. He would cry even if we fell out just because of how much he loved me. I said to him I know he loved me what went wrong? He said to be honest he is yet to sleep with a woman sweeter than me or better than me in bed but that was all there was to it. 
I feel so damaged. After three marriages I still can't find the right man. Who will want a woman married three times with two kids of different fathers? What baggage? Not that I'm lacking confidence but in this day and age, it's just too much baggage to carry. My life is just in ruin. How could some people be so mean? I have his child the least I deserved is respect. What do I do? I'm just struggling to cope with the stress alone with my two kids.


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## LoveMy2Boys (Apr 16, 2013)

Do you have family living nearby? You need to seek a family law attorney immediately! You need to seek full custody of the children so he can't take them away from you and to another country. You need to move back home with your mother if that is an option and cut him off completely! Make it so that he can't contact you! He has all of the power right now. Take it back! There are 4 billion men on this Earth! You can find a better one who won't do this to you!!! Good luck!


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## Marigold32 (Nov 24, 2013)

Thank you for your advice LoveMy2Boys. That's almost exactly what I'm doing. Appreciate your time.


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