# What to do about thinking about it



## loverher (Dec 3, 2012)

Last firday wife and I had to talk about changes in the MDA on the phone, she wants me to refinance the house. So in talking with her she was complaining about having to refinacing her car, I said this would all be easier if we worked this out and she said she had been thinking about it but she did not know if there was anything to come back to, I said there is plenty to come back to. So we finished our conversation and before we hung up she said she had been thinking about R. I just said nice and calm good and we got off the phone. This after two weeks of little contact at all! How should I take this? We have little less than ninety days before D is final. This is the first time she has said anything like this during the last 2 1/2 months of seperation.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

leave her be.. trust me... do not push her.

She is thinking of her options and deciding what to do.

I am working on a R with my wife and she is still living somewhere else. She is not comfortable to come home yet. You might be in the same situation. 

don't be afraid to send her a note that you are thinking about her. Don't make any promises or anything else. Just let her know you are thinking about her and you care about her.

Mine said nothing for 4 months then all of the sudden wanted to R.

say good night to her in a text and good morning.


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## loverher (Dec 3, 2012)

well wife called today, and we talked about R but she said that she does not see it right now and that she did not hate me and she is sorry I am having to deal with all these emotions. She also said that she feels different now and did not know if there was somethimg to come back too but she would let me know if something changes.So I feel I am back to square one, I am going to back off now and go back to 180. Just dont know what to make of all this.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

mine said the same thing. 

You know what i said. I will sell the house and we would start a new life in a new house. 

for a fresh life you might need a fresh start. Remove the negatives from your old life and start a new one.


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## loverher (Dec 3, 2012)

Thanx sadwtlgs, I tried to tell her we need to start over again and she just does not have any hope. She was unhappy and felt unappreciated for so long she just does not have the feeling to try she said. I guess time will only tell if she changes her heart. I know I cant do it for her. I am holding out for hope!


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

That is what mine said to.

Time to step up and show her what you can do. Be proactive. If you are able to sell and buy a new home start looking and she her the homes you are looking at. As she starts to see how you are improving as a person she will hopefully change her mind.

Right now you are the same person you were when the break up happened. Mine is saying the same things. 

If you feel you have improved yourself then keep going the way you are. Don't change if you think it is an improvement. Don't slip into the old habits that destroyed the relationship in the first place.


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