# GF and her family's visit



## crash test (Sep 6, 2013)

Quick backstory...I'm Divorced and share custody with my ex of a wonderful 7 year old daughter....My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years and just had a baby boy together. Recently, my friends invited all of us to a house party on a Sat. night, kids included. GF was for it but then realized her brother and his wife were coming in to town that weekend to visit (not bringing their kids). At first we thought of inviting brother and wife to party (they are more than welcome) but GF decided she didn't want to subject them to the long drive (about an hour) to go to a party where they would only know us.

I suggested that my 7 year old and I go to the party just the 2 of us...My reasons were as follows:
1) D hadn't seen friend's kids in a while, would be nice to visit
2) I hadn't seen freinds in a while, would be nice to visit
3) My D has been wonderful with her new half-brother, but she is extremely energetic and can wear the GF out at times. so I thought it would also be a nice break for GF.
4) GF could visit with her brother and sister in law with the new baby without having 7 year old continually vying for everyone's attention. Again, 7 year old is super sweet and loving but does always want to be "around" and be part of what's going on.

in short, GF was not happy with me...said my idea "was weird" and that her brother and sister in law were coming to visit me and my D as well as new baby...

My GF and I are new to being parents together and also parenting to my 7 year old D 50% of the time. There is a lot of new dynamics for all of and I'm still trying to figure out how to make it amenable to all...thoughts?

Thanks


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long has it been since you've seen your GF's brother?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

My gut is that you should be doing things as a couple, including entertaining your gf's out of town relatives.


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## crash test (Sep 6, 2013)

we saw them at New Year's... My D and I stayed with my GF's family at a Beach rental for 3 nights. I know this isn't a "big" issue in the scheme of things but I feel like it's an example of how difficult our communication is going to be together. For example, I feel sad on the Sunday's when my daughter is going to leave the 3 of us and go to her mother's. (I don't show it to my daughter, I don't want her to feel bad...she's been great about saying goodbye and going with her mom)...but I felt I was being open and honest with the GF by letting her know that I dread seeing my D leave her brother and us every other week. GF wanted to make sure that I wouldn't resent the new baby because he gets to be with me full time while my D only gets to be with my half the time...and always wants me to assure her that I'm happy when it's just the 3 of us. I've told her, and I believe shown her, multiple times that I do love our 3 member family, but yes, I love when my D is with us and get sad that she has to leave her brother and us...I don't blame the baby or treat him any differently, I'm just acknowledging the sadness I feel when she's spending her last minutes with us...she called me passive agressive and then went to sleep on the couch after I fell asleep. I feel like I walk on eggshells around her and take a long time to frame what I'm going to say in my head before I speak for fear of upsetting her....90% of the time things are great, not saying they're not...but that other 10% makes me shake my head in wonderment some time.


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## crash test (Sep 6, 2013)

I've also since asked a few close male friends and they've basically said this is a rough time for new mom's anyway, much less the major life overhaul my GF has gone through with the baby, moving in with me, being a "parent figure" to my 7 year old...oh yeah, and my parents can be a handful for my past significant others as well, lol ....so, I think I'll tell her I'm happy to entertain the brother and his wife and make it a fun weekend whatever we do.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

crash test said:


> I've also since asked a few close male friends and they've basically said this is a rough time for new mom's anyway, much less the major life overhaul my GF has gone through with the baby, moving in with me, being a "parent figure" to my 7 year old...oh yeah, and my parents can be a handful for my past significant others as well, lol ....so, I think I'll tell her I'm happy to entertain the brother and his wife and make it a fun weekend whatever we do.


Smart move mate 

Your gf has a lot going on at the moment with a brand new baby...her hormones will be all over the place and she'd be exhausted. She won't be up to entertaining weekend, overnight guests on her own.

Add to that mix difficult inlaws and she has my sympathy, lol. My inlaws are a miserable pair of...*unprintable*


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