# Condoms??



## blessyourbliss (Jan 13, 2016)

Searching the Internet through tears, I stumbled upon this forum looking for help. I just found condoms in my husband of 7 year's truck. All were the same except one, and he claimed it was from his dad (he is using his old work truck). I guess my question would be is there a way to tell purchase date from the expiration date or lot number on the condom. I'm very confused and absolutely heartbroken. We married young, no kids yet. I'm a fairly attractive woman, who has supported him to a fault at times. Any insight on how to discover the exact purchase date would help me make a decision. Thank you guys so much for any insight/ guidance. 
   feeling pretty crushed right now.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I'd probably start with calling the manufacturer. If you feel too embarrassed to do that, maybe ask a friend to do it for you?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Also, how did you come about finding them in his truck? Where were they? Were you looking for something because you had an inkling something was wrong? How long has he had the truck?


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## SasZ79 (Mar 14, 2015)

The durability of condoms are something between 3 or 5 Years.
Is there any best before date on the condoms?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Most condoms today should already have expiration date on them, typically 2-3 years from the date of manufacture. However they can stay on a store shelf for long time, depending on the store. You can purchase a new box of same type and look at the condom. If the new condom has a date but the ones from truck do not then they might indeed be old. 

Another approach is to tell your husband that you are going to ask his dad about them and watch his reaction. You have a right to be very concerned.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

accept his excuse, STOP talking about it, and go into full investigation mode immediately. He's not just going to admit he's been banging some sleazy chick and beg forgiveness. If he's cheating, he might play it cool for a week, then start up again.

start here:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

My FIL used condoms in the Royal Marines.

They served as water carriers and as waterproof containers for keeping matches dry.

Though he said that the lubricated type made the water taste funny. So he recommended non-lubricated for water!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

ReidWright said:


> accept his excuse, STOP talking about it, and go into full investigation mode immediately. He's not just going to admit he's been banging some sleazy chick and beg forgiveness. If he's cheating, he might play it cool for a week, then start up again.]


I agree with this.

Finding condoms is obviously a huge red flag, but it's a red flag that should prompt you to investigate more thoroughly; not confront. As you've already seen, you could have expected he would have an explanation for it.

So back off of him for now and use the resources on this board to help you learn the methods of stealth monitoring. If you do your due diligence and he's cheating, you'll likely be able to find evidence that he can't dispute.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

I have some condoms in my car too,but I use them when I go fishing.

Is this car yours or your father in laws ? Is he using this car so often ? What about your husband ?

You need to talk with your father in law and dont trust so much to your husband.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

If he is cheating then condoms would indicate hookers or one night stands with bar rats.

Most long term affair partners do not use condoms because they think they are soul mates.

And no soul mate would ever give you an STD right? Makes sense to a delusional mind....


Only way I see out of this is ask the father-in-law about it. Is he still married?

Keep in mind he may say "yes" to protect his son or "no" to keep his affair secret from the MIL.

I'd conduct an investigation to back up whatever answer the FIL gives you to be certain.


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## Grogmiester (Nov 23, 2015)

Sorry you're here.

If these condoms belong to your H then questioning him will not give you the answers you're looking for. You have no way of verifying wether he's telling the truth or not. You'll have to do some more investigating to discover the truth if possible.

Is your FIL married ? divorced? 

Since I'm a guy, I asked myself why condoms in the truck? I understand condoms at home and I understand a condom in a wallet but condoms in the truck made me think who ever these belong too they're not there for home use. 

Good luck


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

blessyourbliss said:


> Searching the Internet through tears, I stumbled upon this forum looking for help. I just found condoms in my husband of 7 year's truck. All were the same except one, and he claimed it was from his dad (he is using his old work truck). I guess my question would be is there a way to tell purchase date from the expiration date or lot number on the condom. I'm very confused and absolutely heartbroken. We married young, no kids yet. I'm a fairly attractive woman, who has supported him to a fault at times. Any insight on how to discover the exact purchase date would help me make a decision. Thank you guys so much for any insight/ guidance.
> feeling pretty crushed right now.


He's lying.

Want proof?

Tell your FIL that you found his condoms in his son's truck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I missed the point about "All were the same except one". Do you normally use condoms with him and were most of them the sort you use? Is it the "one" that was suspicious or all of them?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Be smart said:


> I have some condoms in my car too,but I use them when I go fishing.
> 
> Is this car yours or your father in laws ? Is he using this car so often ? What about your husband ?
> 
> You need to talk with your father in law and dont trust so much to your husband.


Fishing?? What do you hope to catch by using condoms? Sperm whales?

Agree with above- go into full investigation mode. Make him think you've forgotten about it and drop it.

How often does FIL use his son's truck? Is this a work truck? Or personal vehicle? I doubt FIL would leave a stash of condoms in his sons truck unless he uses it very frequently. 

Check cell phone records, texts, messages....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Play dumb wife pretend to forgive and forget even apologise for not accepting his answer. 

Then go into 007 mode without him knowing. 

Also if you have the courage for it perhaps mention it to his father. Start of with something like this

"Dad i know this subject might be a bit embarrasing for both of us but i was cleaning out your old truck the other day and found your old condoms. Would you like them back"?

The look on his face and his response will clarify any doubt you might have.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> If he is cheating then condoms would indicate hookers or one night stands with bar rats.
> 
> Most long term affair partners do not use condoms because they think they are soul mates....


OK, I would look at it a lot differently. 

(1) Condoms can indicate safe sex regardless of the partner. That is being responsible if the H is a cheater. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the H is getting it on with a hooker or bar rat. 

(2) It may not even mean that the H is having PIV sex or even a covered BJ. It could mean that he is inappropriately masturbating a lot, that he frequents strip clubs where clothed strippers bring him to climax by grinding and he doesn't want to soil his pants, or it could even mean that he has a mild bladder incontinence problem. 

Is it a relationship red flag? YES, a big one. Should she jump to a conclusion and assume it means he is having sex? Nope. 

Could it be "harmless" to their relationship? Yes, but that is a low probability event, but still possible.

I would say if he is having an affair and she complains about the condoms, and he doesn't stop the affair, he may stop using condoms regularly and she will be putting herself at risk for STD's, which is not a good outcome.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Maybe he likes to smoke cigars, in the rain. :smile2:


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I agree that mysterious condoms are very suspicious - but there *can* be reasonable explanations. 

Many years ago I opened the trunk of my car and there were a half dozen condoms - and we weren't using them at the time. I'm not sure which of us was most surprised. After a minute of puzzlement we remembered that we hadn't opened the trunk since we went on a driving trip with a male friend with a reputation for enjoying the company of women. (he wasn't married so that was fine). The condoms must have fallen out of his pack. Wife believed me, and I didn't need to use my last resort defense of demonstrating that the condoms would not have fit me....


I'm NOT saying that the OP shouldn't be suspicious, but strange things do happen.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Young at Heart said:


> (1) Condoms can indicate safe sex regardless of the partner. That is being responsible if the H is a cheater. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the H is getting it on with a hooker or bar rat.


You are hilarious if nothing else! Responsible cheater LOL? That's a new one... How noble of him but probably doubtful. Find me ONE thread on CWI where the cheater used a condom at every encounter with a long term affair partner. ONE. I'm it could happen but its exceptionally rare. My guess is slapping a raincoat on during lustful encounters kills the spontaneity and reminds them what turds they are so it s a bit of a mood killer.



Young at Heart said:


> (2) It may not even mean that the H is having PIV sex or even a covered BJ. It could mean that he is inappropriately masturbating a lot, that he frequents strip clubs where clothed strippers bring him to climax by grinding and he doesn't want to soil his pants, or it could even mean that he has a mild bladder incontinence problem.


Masturbates with a condom on? Bladder problems? WOW.... aren't you an optimist! You understand there is a 0.1% chance that is the real reason. don't you?!? Maybe he uses them for fishing like another poster suggested. I mean I appreciated you trying to help OP but getting her hopes up when it's fairly OBVIOUS to everyone why he's carrying rubbers around when he doesn't use them with her isn't doing her any favors. Is it sir?


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> He's lying.
> 
> Want proof?
> 
> ...


yeah, in front of your MIL! I'm sure there will be some interesting conversation after that.


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