# How to get any disclosure?



## hkbaker (Dec 10, 2010)

I'm just about 6 months from D-day and I have received very few details of the A, the extent of their relationship, etc

In fact, her story just doesn't add up and I'm pretty sure she's holding back details.

I've asked her what did you guys talk about between the 6 hours of phone calls and over 650 texts back and forth?

She said she can't remember, really? I asked if they texted dirty stuff back and forth(because we NEVER do anything like that) She said not really. What does not really mean?

She says I just can't get over it. I said get over what? I can't over it because my mind keeps filling in the blanks on it's own, and it's not pretty.

How do you get the disclosure you want?


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

hkbaker said:


> How do you get the disclosure you want?


You demand it.
Tell her, "Look, I did nothing wrong. You had an affair. If you want to put our marriage back together, you need to be completely honest with me and answer all of my questions truthfully. 'I don't know' and 'I don't remember' are unacceptable. You know and you remember.
Tomorrow, we are going to sit down and have a civil conversation about this and I must have all of my questions answered or there is no hope of us ever fixing this."

Stand firm.


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## Sadman (Feb 25, 2010)

hkbaker said:


> I'm just about 6 months from D-day and I have received very few details of the A, the extent of their relationship, etc
> 
> In fact, her story just doesn't add up and I'm pretty sure she's holding back details.
> 
> ...


That`s uncanny, almost word for word the same as my wife came back with.

She said they used to talk about their famillies etc, absolute rubbish.

Many times I asked if she was talking sexual, she said no, the trouble with liars is they get found out, I caught her out on numerous occasions as I remember everything, eventually they were talking sexual.

Every so often I will bring something up, she gets really annoyed and says I should move on, we`ll never really know the full story but it`s the unknown that I find the hardest, I personally can cope better with knowing than imagining allsorts.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

hkbaker said:


> dd up and I'm pretty sure she's holding back details.


Because she is holding back the truth. Lies of omission are hardly any better than telling something fabricated.



hkbaker said:


> dd up and I'm pretty sure she's holding back details.
> I've asked her what did you guys talk about between the 6 hours of phone calls and over 650 texts back and forth?


It's as bad as you can imagine, so presume it is so unless she can prove otherwise. 




hkbaker said:


> dd up and I'm pretty sure she's holding back details.
> How do you get the disclosure you want?


You may never get it.

I had to bluff that I knew something in order to get more information. and it took a long time too.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Trick her, make it sound interesting, and that you hold nothing against her, you just find it amazing and want to learn from her adventures. Tell her you find it exciting.

Tell her you can except the gangbangs and the foursomes and that you are not against miggets or circus clowns, and you completely understand why she cant talk about it. Let her know that you understand that having sex 5 times a day is tough and that she has her needs.

excagerate our imagination.

She may want to clarify some of those assumtions, or she may not.
It worked for me... that and alot of promises that I would not leave her or hold it against her latter on. 

Bottom line is I will move on if she truely had sex 5 time a day in my bed with seven miggets. So it is up to her to make you stay and give your imagination a rest. Once she puts your imagination to rest you really won't want to bring up again.. the true and ugly details of two people having an affair.

Was she a virgin when you met her?


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## hkbaker (Dec 10, 2010)

the guy said:


> Was she a virgin when you met her?


No, she wasn't. Quite the opposite actually. Why do you ask?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It something you can use as an avenue in "breaking the ice".See thier afriad that we cant take what we want to know, so they wont talk about it. If you can convience her that you can take the ugly truth of her behavior, she my spill the bean


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