# Found out big brother had sex with my wife. Need to win her back! Should I confront?



## Titus

I need some advice and I hope someone here can help me. Me and my wife have been married for 6 years. We have 2 young sons. Sex has become very very stale. We used to have sex all the time and then it became less and less. We used to give each other oral sex and then she stopped because she said she didn't like it anymore. I eventually stopped also and now, we probably have sex once every 2 or 3 months.

My brother is 4 years my senior and he is also married. I never liked the way my wife acts around him and it always makes me feel uneasy. I am not too tech savvy but I thought she was cheating on me. I hired a detective and discovered that she has been seeing my brother. The detective installed a camera in our bedroom and I saw that my brother came over during lunch to see her. She complained of being just off her period but he said he didn't care. He gave her oral sex and then they had sex in my bed. I was very hurt to learn all of this.

I have not confronted my brother or her. All I can do is cry. I do love them both but I don't know what to do. I think the oral sex is significant because it's always something she liked. I stopped giving it to her as a punishment for her not giving it to me. Was that the right thing to do? I'm not sure I want to expose this because I will break up my marriage as well as my brothers. What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?


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## Asian

Okay, that's some hardcore stuff my friend.
You got to find out what you want. Are you okay with what happened and still love your wife if she change? Got to know what you want.
My wife cheated but we are still together because I forgave her.


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## KanDo

My friend. What marriage are you saving. Yu wife is sleeping with your brother and you think you have something to save!????

Even if you want to stay married to this woman, your only hope is to confront her, expose your brother and her to evryone and see if there is remorse. If not, move on.


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## TBT

Sorry for your situation but personally I'd be blowing my stack I think......what a double betrayal.Btw,even if you want to overlook it and move on,its only right your sister-in-law gets a choice in the matter.Truth is as long as she's in the affair,you can't reconcile.Hope you get some good advice,but I'm at a loss.Take care.


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## Tony55

Well, this is a tough deal Titus, you're going to feel bad for a long time, you'll feel disoriented for the next month at least, and totally confused for several months, and sad for much longer.

*Nothing you do will make you feel better; get used to that idea right now. This will be a long haul.*

You obviously need to tell both parties that they're busted and no longer allowed to see or communicate with each other.

After that you've got a ton of work to do; these folks here will get you up to speed on what that is.

I'm not saying much more about it because I know there are two small kids involved, and a brother, and my solution would blow it all up, because I would be out of the house tonight.

But I know that solution isn't for everyone; good luck my friend.

T


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## Caribbean Man

What kind of man will have sex with his brother's wife?

What kind of woman will have sex with her brother in law on her husband's bed?

There is nothing here to save.
What you saw is just one episode of her adultery , there are many more.
Exposé your brother to his wife and your entire family.

Tomorrow should be the first day of the rest of your new life.


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## Titus

I have been trying to tell myself that this was the first time. They were so casual that I can't force myself to believe that. The problem is that even though I am hurting, I still love them both. Even if we do get divorced, I will always be connected with my brother and her because of the kids. I want to try to salvage something from this marriage if I can.


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## barbados

Sorry that you are in such a dysfunctional family. Immediately get you ass out of this marriage, and NEVER talk to this piece of **** brother of your EVERY AGAIN !


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## Simon Phoenix

Good God almighty. I really can't think of much worse of an affair than your own flesh and blood hitting your spouse, especially after they say that they are no longer interested in having sex with you. 

Hate to break the news to you but your marriage was nuked and FUBAR'd. Trying to salvage something from this would be like trying to find scraps in Nagasaki after the bomb was dropped on them. And with the kids to consider, she is in prime cake-eating position because she has family court in her back pocket if the day comes when you want out (read; child sort and alimony).

I cannot tell you what to do because the love for my WW turned ice cold after finding out about her fling. Personally, I would be out the door. It's one thing to be considered your spouse's's second choice. It's an entirely different story when her #1 is your older brother.

Leave and take care of the child support. Distance yourself from your brother, stat. That's all I can say...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Count of Monte Cristo

Caribbean Man said:


> What kind of man will have sex with his brother's wife?
> 
> What kind of woman will have sex with her brother in law on her husband's bed?
> 
> There is nothing here to save.
> What you saw is just one episode of her adultery , there are many more.
> Exposé your brother to his wife and your entire family.
> 
> Tomorrow should be the first day of the rest of your new life.


:iagree:

Titus, it's natural to want to save your family. However, your wife and your brother has destroyed the life that you once knew. Expose them both and let the chips fall where they may. Personally, my brother would be dead to me and I would have to think long and hard about trying to work it out with the wife.


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## YupItsMe

I cant decide what is the most screwed up. 

1. Your wifes intimacy wuth your brother
2. Your brothers intimacy with your wife
3. Your calm considerations about what to do

I would be throwing her **** out in the front yard and going to see your brother, mother, father, MIL and FIL. You want her back? For what? Dump her like the weekly trash


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## tom67

YupItsMe said:


> I cant decide what is the most screwed up.
> 
> 1. Your wifes intimacy wuth your brother
> 2. Your brothers intimacy with your wife
> 3. Your calm considerations about what to do
> 
> I would be throwing her **** out in the front yard and going to see your brother, mother, father, MIL and FIL. You want her back? For what? Dump her like the weekly trash


You need to expose if this is a true story to everyone today!


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## WyshIknew

tom67 said:


> You need to expose if this is a true story to everyone today!


Yup. :iagree:


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## AngryandUsed

Buddy, Sorry you are here, the place to which no one should come.

Your guts were cautioning you all along and finally you had a PI to investigate.

Your wife is in deep affair with your elder brother. For many years. He did not care if she had her menstrual cycle. I think that this affair has been going on for more time than what you think.

Leave now.


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## Shaggy

Go to your sister in law and tell her what went on.

Then tell your brother he is dead to you. Son, fact is brothers do not screw their brothers wives. This guy is not your brother.

Again, he is not your brother.


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## Bugz Bunny

Hi Titus,Iam sorry for your situation,but seriously man you need to wake up...WAKE UP ! You need to wake up and start taking control of your life and start respecting yourself...

I still cant understand your so passive reaction and even considering reconcilation and saying that you will still have a relationship with your brother...I would never ever talk with him again,I would wish him the most painful death that God can give him...

Man seriously wake up,and when you wake up you will see that your brother doesn't love you,that your wife doesn't love you and that this affair is going on for a long time and my advice is to DNA test your children.

Personaly if I were you I would organize a big party and invite all your family,your wifes family,family of your brothers wife and at least all your close friends and then in the middle of the party I would try to have some atention from them and then I would play them the movie of your brother and your wife and then I would give your wife the divorce papers in front of them all...That would be my D-day and my revenge - exposing the truth to anyone that matters in your life so that they can see what kind of people the two of them are...After this kind of exposing I think that they would be so ashamed of their actions that they probably would hide in a mouse hole if they could...

And again please wake up and start respecting yourself...

Good Luck


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## LearningLifeQDay

You've got the evidence in hand. Give you brother's wife a copy of the video so she's empowered. Move on, take your time, and find a nice woman to be with for the rest of your life.


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## AlphaHalf

In short, F$#k your wife, divorce her and find a better class of woman.

Your so called brother is not your brother. You share the same blood but his betrayal is beyond belief. He can NEVER be trusted for ANYTHING again. He obviously doesn't respect, care, or even love you the same way you feel for him. If I was you, I would consider him dead to me and never have anything to do with him again. Brothers fight, argue and do stupid things to one another BUT there is a line as Brothers, Men,...Heck just family period that should not be crossed. 

Expose this video to both families. Mom, Dad, Uncles, Cousins,Friends, and Inlaws.


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## RandomDude

Now this is some seriously fked up sh-t mate

You HAVE to confront this, your wife and your brother MUST face the consequences of their actions


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## AngryandUsed

Shaggy said:


> Go to your sister in law and tell her what went on.
> 
> Then tell your brother he is dead to you. Son, fact is brothers do not screw their brothers wives. This guy is not your brother.
> 
> Again, he is not your brother.


And wifes do not screw their husband's brothers. This woman is not your wife!


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## the liberal one

i m back! (after a week of banning but thats another story)

guys...... do you know there is a thing called blood thicker than water? 
lets hope he can deal with it and release those tapes

(i guess he don't have the guts to do it yet)


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## Will_Kane

Titus said:


> Was that the right thing to do?
> 
> I'm not sure I want to expose this because I will break up my marriage as well as my brothers.
> 
> *What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?*


Starting with the last question first: There is no way you can win your wife's heart back while she is still having an affair with your brother. There is no amount of laundry you can wash, dinner you can cook, chores you can do, I love yous you can whisper that will win your wife's heart back WHILE she still is having an affair with your brother.

I think you did a great job in finding out what was going on. You hired somebody and found out, not like so many others that wonder and wonder for months and months.

Call up or go to see your brother's wife. Tell her what is going on. Tell her and show her the evidence you have. Do not tell your wife or your brother before you do this. Your brother's wife is going to find out about this one way or another, sooner or later, as did you. She may already have her suspicions. Do you believe she really would prefer not to know about this? She would be quite angry at you later if she knew you purposely withheld such information from her for your own selfish reasons. 

Not telling your brother's wife that this is going on would be like not telling her she has cancer. She is unaware that her marriage and family are slowly being destroyed by infidelity, while you know about it and are not willing to tell her about it so she can try to fix it.

After you expose the affair to your brother's wife, just sit back and wait. Your wife and your brother will come to you.

There is no magic cure here. This is going to end badly. Prepare yourself for that. It's very unlikely you are going to remain close with your brother AND stay married to your wife. Maybe neither.

Even if you do nothing, this is going to end badly. Your brother's wife is going to 

Your brother's wife will help you to end the affair. If your brother or your wife give you any grief at all, let them know that the next people you will expose to will be all of your parents and siblings. If your wife wants to work it out and so do you, then you can try to do that.

It's up to you to take charge of this situation. You've done well in finding out about it. Now take the hard steps necessary to fix it as best as you can.


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## costa200

> What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?


I refuse to believe this is genuine...


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## oncehisangel

my WH is having an EA/unconfirmed PA with my brothers wife

this is lower than low hun....

expose the bastards and run
run fast
youll be ok


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## oncehisangel

costa200 said:


> I refuse to believe this is genuine...



sweetie..its a sick old world and it does and can happen.

im living it


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## oncehisangel

is a passive reaction though...shock?


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## Machiavelli

Titus said:


> What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?


File for divorce immediately and she'll be all over you. You'll have her heart back instantly. Then ignore her and carry on through with the D. Kick your brother out of your life and tell the whole family what he did. Anything less than that and you'll make yourself into a massive wimp.

Also, you need to DNA your kids. You don't want to be stuck paying CS for your brother's by-blow.

_*Q: If a child's paternity is in question and two brothers are possible fathers, how can a DNA laboratory determine who the father is? What if only one father is tested?
*
A: If both brothers are tested, XXXX DNA TESTING CO. will extend the genetic testing until we are able to distinguish between the brothers. However, if only one brother was tested, and our laboratory is not informed about the possibility of the other related alleged father, there is a possibility that the statistics we issue may not be strictly correct, because we assume that the other possible fathers are not related to the tested man. If our DNA laboratory is informed, after the testing, that a brother of the tested man might be the father, we can determine the odds that the tested man, not his untested brother, is in fact the true biological father. However, when brothers are both potential fathers of a child, we strongly recommend testing both brothers as well as the mother of the child._


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## Machiavelli

Titus said:


> I have been trying to tell myself that this was the first time. They were so casual that I can't force myself to believe that. The problem is that even though I am hurting, I still love them both. Even if we do get divorced, I will always be connected with my brother and her because of the kids. I want to try to salvage something from this marriage if I can.


Maybe not, they may be his kids. This woman is not worth sh!t and neither is your brother.


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## rrrbbbttt

You mention that you stopped Oral to "Punish your wife". 

Fact: She was not being punished because she was receiving it somewhere else. Also, why do you think she stopped giving you Oral, probably because she was given to the person who was now giving her Oral.

1. Expose the Affair to your SIL and your wife's family and your family.
2. Do the 180 on your wife.
3. Get the DNA testing.
4. Your brother should now be dead to you as a person.

MAN UP. She has treated you like S**T

Your Brother has now been voted "SCUM of the Year" With friends/family like him you do not need Enemies.

Family get togethers are really going to be interesting from now on.


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## Plan 9 from OS

Titus, how much love has your wife and your brother shown you? Expose the cheating scum to the entire family. You brother's wife deserves to know what type of man she is married to. I'm amazed that you are not in a rage over this betrayal. All adultery is betrayal on a deep level, but this betrayal is even worse because not only did your wife betray you but your own brother as well. If I was in this situation, I'd "detonate the nuclear warhead" and let the rest run its course. You cannot continue to live a lie and not do anything. They'll only escalate this further and further until someone else eventually catches them.


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## ubercoolpanda

I hope you're not a troll., you seem too calm
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable

Your brother needs his butt soundly whooped and she needs her's kicked to the curb.


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## the liberal one

well it seems that he is just one of the nice guys......... how sad that some men are willing to be doormats pathetic.....

btw that person seems to be one of those people who posted a problem and never respond so there nothing we can really do....


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## arbitrator

I agree with the others who say that this has been going on for far longer than you might have ever imagined.

So now, you have three immediate errands to run: (1) To your lawyers office to immediately file for divorce and for custody of your kids. (2) Then you need to set up a meeting with your SIL and give her a copy of the report, data, pictures, that you have from your detective, and (3) Find yourself a good IC(counselor) to vent and to share ideas with.

This not only is undermining your marriage but it very well could tear the entire family apart. I'm sorry that you're going through this but you've come to the right place for support. Keep us all timely posted and best of luck to you!


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## survivorwife

costa200 said:


> I refuse to believe this is genuine...


I saw this whole story played out on TV this weekend, on a show called "Deadly Affairs" in which, after the confrontation, the OM (brother) shot his parents and killed the BS. The OM (brother) then took over the role of the BS, living with the WW and playing "daddy" to the kids. Eventually he was charged and convicted since his mother survived.

If this story is true, it's obviously time to end the marriage. If this story is based on the episode of "Deadly Affairs" that I watched this weekend, I await the next chapter.


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## A++

Facepalm


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## Kallan Pavithran

Titus said:


> What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?




I was in your shoes, It was my younger brother who I treated like my elder son due to our age difference. I saw them together he ended up in hospital with 13 stitches. Wife dragged her to the road and thrown her out with her stuff. Got divorced. Now with a more beautiful and loving GF. My kids love me to death, I too love them. She and him is an outcast from our family, her family.
Now she is trying all the things for my forgiveness, but I don't care a **** about her.

Expose to all the family members and friends. Your brother is your worst enemy treat him like that. He don't deserve any respect or love. 
Your wife is less than a who*re. Throw her out of your home. D her ass out and find a new girl.

Your above statement made me to :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

in pity for you.

I hope you are a troll because I dont want this to happen to anyone in the world. Double betrayal is too much for any human being.


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## Atholk

Paternity test your kids too. If it's your brother, your kids looking like you doesn't mean squat.


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## lucky me

Bugz Bunny said:


> Hi Titus,Iam sorry for your situation,but seriously man you need to wake up...WAKE UP ! You need to wake up and start taking control of your life and start respecting yourself...
> 
> I still cant understand your so passive reaction and even considering reconcilation and saying that you will still have a relationship with your brother...I would never ever talk with him again,I would wish him the most painful death that God can give him...
> 
> Man seriously wake up,and when you wake up you will see that your brother doesn't love you,that your wife doesn't love you and that this affair is going on for a long time and my advice is to DNA test your children.
> 
> Personaly if I were you I would organize a big party and invite all your family,your wifes family,family of your brothers wife and at least all your close friends and then in the middle of the party I would try to have some atention from them and then I would play them the movie of your brother and your wife and then I would give your wife the divorce papers in front of them all...That would be my D-day and my revenge - exposing the truth to anyone that matters in your life so that they can see what kind of people the two of them are...After this kind of exposing I think that they would be so ashamed of their actions that they probably would hide in a mouse hole if they could...
> 
> And again please wake up and start respecting yourself...
> 
> Good Luck


This is what I would do!!!!!:iagree:


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## Caribbean Man

oncehisangel said:


> sweetie..its a sick old world and it does and can happen.
> 
> im living it


:iagree:

I have seen this happen already.


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## life.is.pain

Bugz Bunny said:


> Man seriously wake up,and when you wake up you will see that your brother doesn't love you,that your wife doesn't love you and that this affair is going on for a long time and my advice is to DNA test your children.
> 
> Personaly if I were you I would organize a big party and invite all your family,your wifes family,family of your brothers wife and at least all your close friends and then in the middle of the party I would try to have some atention from them and then I would play them the movie of your brother and your wife and then I would give your wife the divorce papers in front of them all...That would be my D-day and my revenge - exposing the truth to anyone that matters in your life so that they can see what kind of people the two of them are...After this kind of exposing I think that they would be so ashamed of their actions that they probably would hide in a mouse hole if they could...
> 
> And again please wake up and start respecting yourself...
> 
> Good Luck



:iagree:
*this right here is exactly what i would do. its the best advice by far as i see it. :smthumbup:*


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## life.is.pain

Titus said:


> What can I do to win my wife's heart back so she will stop seeing my brother?


:lol: :crazy:


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## turnera

You want to win your wife back? Here's the #1 step to achieve that.

Go tell your parents and other siblings what your brother is doing.


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## slater

Men have been killed over much less.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thor

Titus, I am sorry for the pain and confusion you are going through.

The responses on this forum may seem harsh but they are based on experience. Right now you are in shock and should not expect to make a final decision on whether to divorce or reconcile. The truth is though that there is a script which cheaters follow, and your wife will follow it. What does not work is being Nice to her. She won't decide to love you and come back to you as a good wife. You will have to be tough with her to shock her out of the affair. It will take assistance from her affair partner's wife, too. Then there is a chance she may eventually come back willingly. You have the choice all along whether to continue trying to reconcile or to divorce her.

The best method to kill the affair and shock her back into the marriage is to follow the advice already given. It is also the best way to protect yourself and your kids' interests in the event she does not come back to the family.


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## cabin fever

I like to think I am an efficient person, so here is what I would do. 

I would beat the living chit out of your brother, in front of his wife. 

He needs his azz beat, and his wife needs to know. You kill 2 birds with one stone. 

then I would disown him, and divorce your wife. 

Seriously, your brother, in your own house, and you want to salvage something?


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## tom67

cabin fever said:


> I like to think I am an efficient person, so here is what I would do.
> 
> I would beat the living chit out of your brother, in front of his wife.
> 
> He needs his azz beat, and his wife needs to know. You kill 2 birds with one stone.
> 
> then I would disown him, and divorce your wife.
> 
> Seriously, your brother, in your own house, and you want to salvage something?


Expose to everyone!


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## the guy

Analogy time.........

You diagnoused the cancer, now you let it grow, in stead of facing it and try to get it into remission by using the medicine available.

Expose this to your SIL and the both of you come up with a game plan to confront the affair.


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## costa200

survivorwife said:


> I saw this whole story played out on TV this weekend, on a show called "Deadly Affairs" in which, after the confrontation, the OM (brother) shot his parents and killed the BS. The OM (brother) then took over the role of the BS, living with the WW and playing "daddy" to the kids. Eventually he was charged and convicted since his mother survived.
> 
> If this story is true, it's obviously time to end the marriage. If this story is based on the episode of "Deadly Affairs" that I watched this weekend, I await the next chapter.


Damn... Trolling quality decaying or what? At least give out an original story!


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## aug

Make a copy of your proof (video, detective report, etc) and store it away from your house safely. This way neither your brother or your wife can destroy the evidence which you do need to have.


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## aug

Or, you could invite every family member over for a party and gather them around your high def TV...


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## Pit-of-my-stomach

*Sigh...*


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## DavidWYoung

Get you children DNA tested, her affair has been going on for a long time. She hates you, let me say it again, she hates you and would put you in jail for a long time if it suited her needs. NOW, Wake the F*** Up..be a MAN before she makes you her BIT##. And trust me on this SHE WILL TURN ON YOU!


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## Shaggy

I'd show the video to your brothers wife and your lawyer. 

I'd never speak to the brother again, nor the wife. Both would be dead to me forever.


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## turnera

I have a book for you to read. It will change everything. It's called No More Mr Nice Guy.


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## TDSC60

Neither has any respect or love for you. Both betrayed you in the worst way possible.

Divorce her. Expose to the brothers wife. 

Both should be cut out of your life as much as possible.


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## WyshIknew

turnera said:


> I have a book for you to read. It will change everything. It's called No More Mr Nice Guy.


I have a book for you to read.

It's called how to punch the snot out your brother and dump your wife.


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## turnera

WyshIknew said:


> I have a book for you to read.
> 
> It's called how to punch the snot out your brother and dump your wife.


 He has to learn it's ok to stop being a Giver first.


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## WyshIknew

turnera said:


> He has to learn it's ok to stop being a Giver first.


Not my best ever post. Just frustrated, should I confront.

Hell Yeah.


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## The Cro-Magnon

If my brother did this to me he would die.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Madman1

If I were op I would grab that banjo out of his hand and hit him over the head with it!


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## Chaparral

Titus,you are in shock right now and that is what happens to everyone. You do love your wife and brother but...........this is going to wear off fast. The first thing you should do is see your Md, tell him what happened and he can give you some help in absorbing the shock. The second thing I would do is talk to your parents about this. What your brother has done is an assault on all of your families. Then call your brothers wife and tell her about the video and the private eye. If she wants to see it make her wait till she calms down.

Lastly, tell your wife about the video. Take your mattress out and burn it in the yard or take it to the dump. 

Don't make any decisions right now but realize that there is little chanceyou can get over what she has done.


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## old_soldier

Just like chapparal said although I would be a lot moe dramatic than that. If it were me, I would invite the brother and his wife over to my house, get my brother to help me move the mattress out to front yard, douse it with some B B Q starter fluid, then set it ablaze, go back into the house and tell my brother to leave and take his cheating skank of affair partner with him. And I'd make sure his wife, your parents and your CW knew why. Give them all a copy of the tape. SHOCK AND AWE my friend. SHOCK AND AWE!


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## Kallan Pavithran

But he is asking how to win his wife back.......REALLY SAD.


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## Mohale

Dude I cant say or do much to make this any easier,however if you were to take my advice it would be this:

Ask yourself one question, Do you love this girl? 

If yes then you can tell her you forgive her and watch her earn your trust again,simple right.

Now for your brother to do such a thing like that is disgraceful,
doesn't he have his own damn girlfriend?

anyway, the only way your going to rise above this dilemma is to forgive him.

Now you may be thinking I'm crazy to suggest that you should just forgive and forget the whole matter,and I know it may be crazy but its better than putting up with their infidelity.

When you forgive someone you are not only taking a weight of their shoulders, you also take a heavy loud of yours and with that freedom you put yourself in a position where you are open to greater relationships. 

I know its hard to just let this all slide! but it could be a symbolism from the heavens telling you to let go of unnecessary baggage in your life and to focus on yourself and your precious children.


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## WyshIknew

Mohale said:


> Dude I cant say or do much to make this any easier,however if you were to take my advice it would be this:
> 
> Ask yourself one question, Do you love this girl?
> 
> If yes then you can tell her you forgive her and watch her earn your trust again,simple right.
> 
> Now for your brother to do such a thing like that is disgraceful,
> doesn't he have his own damn girlfriend?
> 
> anyway, the only way your going to rise above this dilemma is to forgive him.
> 
> Now you may be thinking I'm crazy to suggest that you should just forgive and forget the whole matter,and I know it may be crazy but its better than putting up with their infidelity.
> 
> When you forgive someone you are not only taking a weight of their shoulders, you also take a heavy loud of yours and with that freedom you put yourself in a position where you are open to greater relationships.
> 
> I know its hard to just let this all slide! but it could be a symbolism from the heavens telling you to let go of unnecessary baggage in your life and to focus on yourself and your precious children.


No dude!

You forgive but you never forget.


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## Mohale

Ok I have been told that you can forgive but you never forget, and that is very true but I have once been a prisoner of resentment because I did not do myself the justice of forgetting the whole thing happened and moving forward toward a solution.


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## turnera

old_soldier said:


> Just like chapparal said although I would be a lot moe dramatic than that. If it were me, I would invite the brother and his wife over to my house, get my brother to help me move the mattress out to front yard, douse it with some B B Q starter fluid, then set it ablaze, go back into the house and tell my brother to leave and take his cheating skank of affair partner with him. And I'd make sure his wife, your parents and your CW knew why. Give them all a copy of the tape. SHOCK AND AWE my friend. SHOCK AND AWE!


 Best post yet.


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## Titus

I have read every single reply here and it's hard because I'm still hurting. I have not exposed anything yet but I have contacted my brother's wife. We are supposed to meet up this weekend to talk about everything. I will show her the video and see what she thinks. AFAIK, they have not had any major marital problems so this will also probably be a shock to her. We are all supposed to meet at another relatives house next week for thanksgiving dinner but I don't know if I can stomach being around them then. I feel that I'm about to lose my family and there is nothing that I can do about it. Still, I can't sleep on this and as much as I hate to admit that this has happened, I have to try to find a way to confront them and see where things went wrong. To tell the truth, I still love both of them but that have hurt me very badly with this.


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## turnera

Titus said:


> I have to try to find a way to confront them and *see where things went wrong*.


WTH?

You're acting like they got caught stealing a gum ball. Have you gotten one of the books we recommended yet?


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## turnera

No offense, titus, but if this is all you can muster up, if you can't even be mad at them - instead of just HURT by them - you need to be in therapy.


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## remorseful strayer

Titus said:


> My brother is 4 years my senior and he is also married. I never liked the way my wife acts around him and it always makes me feel uneasy. I am not too tech savvy but I thought she was cheating on me. I hired a detective and discovered that she has been seeing my brother. The detective installed a camera in our bedroom and I saw that my brother came over during lunch to see her. She complained of being just off her period but he said he didn't care. He gave her oral sex and then they had sex in my bed. I was very hurt to learn all of this.


i strayed on my wife twice, but her sisters or any other relative would always have been off limits. 

That is really a nasty thing to do to someone. A double betrayal.

I shouldn't be judging anyone. I am a lowlife, who strayed twice, and now my wife is gone.


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## SadSamIAm

Titus said:


> I have read every single reply here and it's hard because I'm still hurting. I have not exposed anything yet but I have contacted my brother's wife. We are supposed to meet up this weekend to talk about everything. I will show her the video and see what she thinks. AFAIK, they have not had any major marital problems so this will also probably be a shock to her. We are all supposed to meet at another relatives house next week for thanksgiving dinner but I don't know if I can stomach being around them then. I feel that I'm about to lose my family and there is nothing that I can do about it. Still, I can't sleep on this and as much as I hate to admit that this has happened, I have to try to find a way to confront them and see where things went wrong. To tell the truth, I still love both of them but that have hurt me very badly with this.


I think you will have better luck with your wife if you can quit loving her for a while. Most women want a strong man that would fight for her. That aren't willing to share them. You should be pissed off at both your wife and your brother. You should hate them for doing this to you.

If you approach your life with "I love you! What went wrong?" she will not respect you. 

Your best chance of saving your marriage is to approach her with, "I know what you did, now get the hell out of my house!" She has to feel that she is losing you and that you won't put up with being cheated on. Her reaction will tell you if your marriage is worth saving.


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## tom67

SadSamIAm said:


> I think you will have better luck with your wife if you can quit loving her for a while. Most women want a strong man that would fight for her. That aren't willing to share them. You should be pissed off at both your wife and your brother. You should hate them for doing this to you.
> 
> If you approach your life with "I love you! What went wrong?" she will not respect you.
> 
> Your best chance of saving your marriage is to approach her with, "I know what you did, now get the hell out of my house!" She has to feel that she is losing you and that you won't put up with being cheated on. Her reaction will tell you if your marriage is worth saving.


You have to show some tough love brother confront her tonight and tell her to leave help her pack!


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## spudster

My god in heaven! American men are a nation of pansies.

Titus, I think you watched too much of that purple dinosaur growing up. Please, for your own self respect, try to muster some anger....some. Please.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyofJuan

Titus said:


> I have read every single reply here and it's hard because I'm still hurting. I have not exposed anything yet but I have contacted my brother's wife. We are supposed to meet up this weekend to talk about everything. I will show her the video and see what she thinks. AFAIK, they have not had any major marital problems so this will also probably be a shock to her. We are all supposed to meet at another relatives house next week for thanksgiving dinner but I don't know if I can stomach being around them then. I feel that I'm about to lose my family and there is nothing that I can do about it. Still, I can't sleep on this and as much as I hate to admit that this has happened, I have to try to find a way to confront them and see where things went wrong. To tell the truth, I still love both of them but that have hurt me very badly with this.


 That hurt needs to turn to anger, they are literally screwing you over and I bet they know you won't do anything about it. Neither one of them has any respect for you, you are just a little punk to them.

Get angry. Being the nice guy and taking the high road will get you nothing in the end. You need to blow this up like a nuclear bomb and rain hell fire on everyone. Show them you are not Mr. Beta and when they see you stand up for yourself their perspective of you will change. 

Don't be too quick to forgive either, they need to earn it. They screwed up, not you. This is NOT your fault by any stretch of the imagination.

You need to either drop the hammer or completely cut them out of your life. Do NOT try to rug sweep this and let them walk all over you. This is a big deal and you need to treat it as such.

I was like you a long time ago, I hate when I see people make the same mistakes I did. When its over if you regret anything it will be not being tougher on them. Nobody ever says they wish they were nicer to a cheating spouse.


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## WorkingOnMe

You know, one of the requirements for a successful reconciliation is no contact. Ever. So, in order to reconcile with your wife, are you prepared to say goodbye to your brother for the rest of eternity?


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## Madman1

Unfeffingbelievable!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tall Average Guy

Titus said:


> I have to try to find a way to confront them and see where things went wrong.


Perhaps when they decided to have sex? Just a thought.

Why wait until the weeked? Meet your SIL as soon as possible. Based on your posts, I doubt you will be able to hide your feelings and you wife may end up pressing you. The worst thing that could happen is you confronting out of emotional anger and blowing the chance to clue in your SIL.


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## giashasa2012

Don't expose, not yet. 

Don't tell his wife anything before you are ready. 

If you have choose to divorce, then you need to prepare your self , lawyer , bank accounts, will , medi care .................., you need to be a step ahead of her 

If you want to reconcile you need to shock her to her core , and show her that you are prepare to dump her. That you don't need her that you can live with out her 

If you beg , plead , be nice and try to win her over she will see you as needy and worse then that

And the best way to shock her is to serve her divorce papers (on grounds of infidelity ), without her expecting it . If she wants to reconcile and you want it too ,divorce proceedings can be terminated any time ( later is better , don't be quick to terminate ) and if you choose not to R , then you will have not lost time , it will be better for your healing. 

So as you see in both cases filling for divorce is useful . 

At the same time that you serve her , you expose. 

To your sister in law , to your parents and other siblings , to her parents and siblings , to your best friends. 

And as of your brother ignore him ....for ever . Wives , friends other can betray us but if our own blood betray us that is unforgivable . And i don't say unreconcilable but unforgivable .

I would not speak to him ever . He would be dead to me .

For now what you can do is the 180 and prepare for the worst. 

Follow the link Recovering From Affairs: 180 - Handy Reminder . Remember that the 180 is for your healing not to try to manipulate her .

Try to find some anger sometimes it 's good to be angry


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## Acabado

Check out the phone bill. They have been doing it for... ages.

This needs to be exposed to BW, the three set of parents, all siblings... everyone in the families.

Sadly there's no more family anymore. Destruction complete. They knew damm well it would be the end. Can't fake surprise.

Killing it is what it takes short term but there's no way this marriage can be saved, no way it will work in the mid/long term. JMO.


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## MattMatt

costa200 said:


> I refuse to believe this is genuine...


Happened to someone I knew, 30 years back. Broke the whole family up.


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## spudster

Acabado said:


> Check out the phone bill. They have been doing it for... ages.
> 
> This needs to be exposed to BW, the three set of parents, all siblings... everyone in the families.
> 
> Sadly there's no more family anymore. Destruction complete. They knew damm well it would be the end. Can't fake surprise.
> 
> Killing it is what it takes short term but there's no way this marriage can be saved, no way it will work in the mid/long term. JMO.


Agreed. This sham marriage, the entire family structure is finito.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedTex

This is partly in jest. But my what a scene!: 

Skip the meeting with the brother's wife this weekend. Visit lawyer this week. Draw up divorce papers.

Burn video to DVD. When family's gathered round for T-giving, tell them you have a home video you want them all to see on the big screen. Pop in the tape.

Let it roll for a minute. Hand divorce papers to wife. Calmly walk out of the house.

Sorry to make light of this. I know this is not possible. Gotta say, though, this would be the: Best. Break-Up. Ever


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## tom67

Acyually married that sounds like a good idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird

Having an affair with someone other then a family member is bad, Having an affair with a family member is worse.

You need to expose them both, Disown your brother (brothers do not do this to each other) And divorce your wife.

And lets say that your wife ends the affair, you will never be able to see your brother again, due to the affair. If she will have sex with your brother, she will have sex with anyone.


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## Michie

Dear Titus,

First i am sorry you are here.
Second, when i see your name i think titus andronicus, which does not bode well on a infidelity thread.

Your story is heart wrenching, i am particularly close with siblings, being the oldest, they are almost mine as much as my parents, i'll helped raise them, which makes this particularly shocking that abig brother can do this to his little brother, i mean isnt he suppose to protect you from the "bullies"'in life?

I cannot help but wonder at your calm? Is your brother this type of man in all aspects?

You as everyone has mentioned need to start protecting yourself, your kids and finances. 

Gather more evidence, though video is rather sound. Consult or retain lawyer immediately! Like yesterday! 

I understand not wanting to expose so close to thanksgiving and christmas they are the most special times for any family.

But two major parts of your family have tried to decimate and declare war on your family.

Titus this must come to halt one way or another.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mohale

old_soldier said:


> Just like chapparal said although I would be a lot moe dramatic than that. If it were me, I would invite the brother and his wife over to my house, get my brother to help me move the mattress out to front yard, douse it with some B B Q starter fluid, then set it ablaze, go back into the house and tell my brother to leave and take his cheating skank of affair partner with him. And I'd make sure his wife, your parents and your CW knew why. Give them all a copy of the tape. SHOCK AND AWE my friend. SHOCK AND AWE!


HAHAHA Nice...


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## Chaparral

Michie said:


> Dear Titus,
> 
> First i am sorry you are here.
> Second, when i see your name i think titus andronicus, which does not bode well on a infidelity thread.
> 
> Your story is heart wrenching, i am particularly close with siblings, being the oldest, they are almost mine as much as my parents, i'll helped raise them, which makes this particularly shocking that abig brother can do this to his little brother, i mean isnt he suppose to protect you from the "bullies"'in life?
> 
> I cannot help but wonder at your calm? Is your brother this type of man in all aspects?
> 
> You as everyone has mentioned need to start protecting yourself, your kids and finances.
> 
> Gather more evidence, though video is rather sound. Consult or retain lawyer immediately! Like yesterday!
> 
> I understand not wanting to expose so close to thanksgiving and christmas they are the most special times for any family.
> 
> But two major parts of your family have tried to decimate and declare war on your family.
> 
> Titus this must come to halt one way or another.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I googled Titus and infidelity. He picked and odd screen name didn't he.

* For over 300 years, criminal courts have regarded sexual infidelity as sufficiently grave provocation as to provide a warrant, indeed a ‘moral warrant’, for reducing murder to manslaughter. While the warrant has spilled over into diminished responsibility defences, wounding, grievous bodily harm and attempted murder cases, it is provocation cases that have provided the precedents enshrining a defendant's impassioned homicidal sexual infidelity tale as excusatory. Periodically, judges and law reformers attempt to reign in provocation defences, most recently in England and Wales where provocation has been replaced by a loss of control defence that, most controversially, specifically excludes sexual infidelity as a trigger for loss of control. This paper reflects on this reform and its reception, glossing Shakespeare's scathing critique of warrants for murder in Titus Andronicus.*


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## DocHoliday

Uh, Tutus joined in Nov, posted to this thread twice, and it is over 6 pages long. 

In fact, he has 3 total posts. Maybe the reason we are in the infidelity section is we are such gullible people.. jmho.


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## Madman1

DA DA Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

Der Der Der Der Der Der Der Der Der

DA DA Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

Der Der Der Der Der Der Der Der Der

:yay: :yay: :yay: :yay:


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## Acabado

Thing is it has been reported. The thread has not been deleted. That's why I finnaly posted.


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## the guy

I'm in.
Hopefully SIL brings some rational to this and goes and nukes this incestual affair.

If OP"s wife gets pego from BIL would that make the kid a nephew or OP's step son?

If OP's has kids with WW, would that make the WW & BIL's kid a cousin or a step child to the current kids?


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## GROUNDPOUNDER

LBuchIWC said:


> Hi Titus,
> 
> I know this post was put up a long time ago, I would like to talk to you about what happened. Could you please get in touch either by email or phone, or send me your details and I'll get in touch with you?
> 
> Cheers,
> Leona
> 
> [email protected]
> 0141 353 8411


He was banned, so I don't think that he'd get an email alert that there's a new post in his thread. Even if he had that feature turned on.


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## Affaircare




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## tacoma

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> He was banned, so I don't think that he'd get an email alert that there's a new post in his thread. Even if he had that feature turned on.


Troll?


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## GROUNDPOUNDER

tacoma said:


> Troll?


I sure is possable. I mean to post that your wife has been having sex with your brother is a good bait for a troll to use.

Though I have read a few on her that involved a brother, or sister bieng the OM/OW that seemed legit at the time.

They didn't stick around that long either. I can't say that I blame them when your situation sounds like something from a Jerry Springer re-run.

I remember we told one guy to set up a VAR, or min-cam. He placed a pen-cam on the dresser in his bedroom. His wife knew that he'd be gone for at least 10-12 hours.

He wachted the video to find that his brother had been boinking his wife in their bed. He dug and found out that it had been going on for a year, or more. He posted a few more times, but it obviouly was too much for him and he diaspeared.

When we start telling the BS stuff like, to DNA their kids and that this may not have been the WS's first affair - they can get overload and just check out.

I realy felt bad for this guy. The typical "nice guy". Did everything and anything to make his wife happy. Got repaid with having his heart cut out and shoved up his a$$.


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