# thoughts?



## thisisthelife (Jan 29, 2011)

What a long story. I honest to god accidentally found an "erotic" craigslist ad on my computer 14 months ago. at the time, we had been fighting about his porn habit for a year. i find it gross and rude and didn't want to see it. he told me i wasn't his mother and he can do whatever he wants in his own house. when i found the ad i jotted down the number. i looked in his phone. he had called this woman while i was at work that night. i wrote down a few other numbers in his phone and searched them. they were CL ad numbers too.
he says he didn't fool around he was using it as a free phone sex?
anyway over the past 14 months he has lied to me at least 10 times about looking at porn. we were in counseling and he had agreed to not use it because i was afraid it was leading to behavior that was either causing him or would eventually cause him to cheat. he agreed on me having time to process and heal. unfortunately that healing hasn't taken place because i keep catching him lying to me about looking at porn.
worse is i have no way of knowing if there is more going on but there have been several things to cause plenty of doubt.
he thinks i am being controlling- which is what he tells me when i catch him lying. but he NEVER attempts to approach me to talk about any of this.
ANYWAY about 5 months ago i told him to pick me or porn. he picked me of course, saw an individual counselor twice and said he was stopping because he understood how much it hurt me. we haven't really spoken for 3 days since the last time i told him i knew he was looking at porn. he told me to get over it.
do i leave him is the question?
we have 2 kids. he's a great dad, great provider, helps around the house- everything else is spot on, but i can't seem to let this other stuff go...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Unfortunately, the porn problem usually isn't just a phase. Just read the threads on the forum. My estranged husband used the porn as a stepping stone to bigger things. And that's what I'm wondering about with the original poster's husband. The porn is more important than her. In addition, he's now stepping out to Craig's List. Have you actually looked at the ads in question? How were they worded? Somehow I doubt they were only for phone sex.


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