# Confused About Ex Girlfriend



## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

Hey all,

So I am really confused as to what is going on. We had been having a lot of problems and broke up about 2 months ago. During that time period she started seeing (for lack of a better term) someone however after about 3 weeks she started talking to me again and had me coming over to visit. We had a sexual relationship during all this since she wasn't committed.

The situation with the other guy is that he pursued her for quite some time while her and I were together. When we finally split up he wouldn't commit and suddenly needed to "find himself" but continued seeing her. In other words she really liked him but he was using her for sex while he decided if he wanted her or to get back with his ex girlfriend. It all ended a couple of weeks ago.

So during the time of the break up me and my ex started talking even more and one night I got really frustrated over everything and created an online dating profile to try to meet some new people. Well a couple of days ago she created one herself and of course we popped up in each other's matches and she seen me on there and sent me a message. 

We ended up going out that night (Friday)and had a great time that ended with me staying the night at her place. Saturday (yesterday) she had little to nothing to say to me. I asked her what was wrong and she just replied with that she was sulking and had no idea why. So anyways later we are talking and she asked me if I had a bunch of women emailing me on the dating site. I answered her honestly. Truthfully I don't even care how many women email me I know what I want but if she is not going to be straight with me I am keeping my options open. Honestly most of the women who email me I don't reply back too simply because I still want to be with my ex.

Throughout the day we did talk very little and at one point she mentioned of her own free will without being asked that there was a few guys she was talking too and went on to say none that there was any romantic connection with just potential new friends. One guy in particular she really likes. She volunteered that she doesn't find him attractive but a good platonic friend as she said. Last night after we had been talking awhile via gmail and she went offline claiming she was going to be back on shortly I sent her a text asking if she was going to get back on and we exchanged a few emails upon me asking her what's wrong today she replied she is in a funk today and the sent this

_I'm talking to someone here about a book he's writing. Same guy I mentioned. Reminds me a bit of (best friend). I'm just trying to relax, enjoy my night, share some writing and drink some wine. I don't mean to make you feel ignored but I don't have anything else to say right this second you know?_

So right now I have no idea what is going on.


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## Tiberius (Mar 22, 2012)

You really do not know what is going on?

She is trying to find herself a new boyfriend and you are her plan B. When she gets dumped, she comes back to you( and you take her back:slap
She was drinking wine with a prospective boyfriend, 'relaxing and enjoying her night'( banging him) and she is telling you she is 'talking about a book he is writing'.

MOVE ON- she is not a girlfriend material.


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## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

Move on. You were plan B when dating and now you're plan C or D. Find an incredible woman that finds you equally amazing. 

And you might want to give "No More Mr Nice Guy" a read. 

~Passio


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

Tiberius said:


> You really do not know what is going on?
> 
> She is trying to find herself a new boyfriend and you are her plan B. When she gets dumped, she comes back to you( and you take her back:slap
> She was drinking wine with a prospective boyfriend, 'relaxing and enjoying her night'( banging him) and she is telling you she is 'talking about a book he is writing'.
> ...


She wasn't with him. They were talking online and honestly no I am pretty oblivious to these kind of things


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

So update. I went to her profile and figured out her password (3 years together. fairly simple) on the site to see what she is up too. She is supposed to meet the one guy today for a walk and they have actually just been talking about music and writing


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

MehBlah said:


> She wasn't with him. *They were talking online *and honestly no I am pretty oblivious to these kind of things


That is what SHE told you. People lie. She lies a lot. Stop responding to her. She is playing mind games and laughing at you.


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## Tiberius (Mar 22, 2012)

MehBlah said:


> So update. I went to her profile and figured out her password (3 years together. fairly simple) on the site to see what she is up too. She is supposed to meet the one guy today for a walk and they have actually just been talking about music and writing


So, you are OK with her meeting different guys for 'talking about books', 'walking and talking about music'?

She is on the prowl, wake up.


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

SaltInWound said:


> That is what SHE told you. People lie. She lies a lot. Stop responding to her. She is playing mind games and laughing at you.


No I drove by last night..stalkerish behavior I know...sorry I guess I should have been a little more descriptive in my first post


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

Tiberius said:


> So, you are OK with her meeting different guys for 'talking about books', 'walking and talking about music'?
> 
> She is on the prowl, wake up.


Absolutely not! If this is what you all think she is doing (and you may be right because I am confused all the way around) I am going to have to figure out a way to detach myself from her


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

So update/venting whichever. We finally spoke. I messaged her and asked what was wrong. I said we had a great night Friday night Saturday morning and the she barely said a word. She said she just needed some space. Wth? How do you go from both people saying they had a great night to just deciding you need some space just like that!?


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

MehBlah said:


> So update/venting whichever. We finally spoke. I messaged her and asked what was wrong. I said we had a great night Friday night Saturday morning and the she barely said a word. She said she just needed some space. Wth? How do you go from both people saying they had a great night to just deciding you need some space just like that!?


let her go. she is already gone...completely... but she likes having you there, wanting her, loving her in the meantime. thats why her actions seem confusing to you. you want to believe there is more there when there is not. she is stringing you along until she finds someone new. dont be that person. dont delude yourself into thinking she is not like that....she is....and you deserve more, better....let her go, its really not a loss! Not on your part...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Give her time. Maybe you'll see her in home room next fall.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Dude. You're stalking her and hacking her passwords. Both potentially illegal activities.

Let it go. Move on. And you won't be able to move on until you cut off all communication with her. 

C


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

PBear said:


> Dude. You're stalking her and hacking her passwords. Both potentially illegal activities.
> 
> Let it go. Move on. And you won't be able to move on until you cut off all communication with her.
> 
> C


First time on both counts honestly just trying to figure out if she was being straight with me or not,you know?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

MehBlah said:


> First time on both counts honestly just trying to figure out if she was being straight with me or not,you know?


No, I don't know. She's your ex. You have no right to hack her passwords.

Let it go

C


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## MehBlah (Jul 7, 2013)

PBear said:


> No, I don't know. She's your ex. You have no right to hack her passwords.
> 
> Let it go
> 
> C


I will give you that but I do have the right to not have someone play games.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

MehBlah said:


> I will give you that but I do have the right to not have someone play games.


Your right is to not be involved with someone who wants to play games. It's not your right to break the law.

C


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MehBlah said:


> First time on both counts honestly just trying to figure out if she was being straight with me or not,you know?


So since you haven't done it before, that makes it is okay to hack into her account?

No, you are NOT trying "to figure out" jack. You are displaying really sick, codependent tendencies. 

You want her for yourself, she doesn't want you anymore, and you ARE stalking her.

Please don't bother to argue with me. Trying to figure out whether or not someone is lying to you is moot. Seriously.

She wants to screw around/party/whatever with other men.

She has every right to do so.

Quit trying to "figure" her out.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

MehBlah said:


> I will give you that but I do have the right to not have someone play games.


No, you do NOT. She can play games all she wants. You can play games all you want. 

All you own is what is on your side of the street, dude. And right now, hacking into her account, IS playing games, regardless of how you try to justify it.

Don't want to play games?

Get on with your life and get outta her's.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

MehBlah how old are you? 

From the way you pine for her, follow her around, stalk her (yes driving by her house at night is creepy and stalkerish) and the way you refuse to get the hint that she is not into you indicates to me that you are:

1) Very immature and lacking in self-esteem;
2) Developing codependant traits; 
3) And are willing to be a doormat/landing pad for her whenever she is through screwing around with other guys. You have let her know that you have no self-respect and don't mind being her safe harbor between flings with other guys. 

MehBlah you need to drop this girl, shut her out and move on.


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## pinktrees11 (Jun 8, 2013)

yes, same question. How old are you?

In all honesty, it doesn't look like she wants to continue the relationship. She looks like someone who has a hard time being single and jumps from one relationship to another. Just let it go and move on, don't let her disrespect you by being her plan B. Move on, focus on yourself and try to be happy without her.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

MehBlah said:


> I will give you that but I do have the right to not have someone play games.


Actually you don't.

She's an ex, nothing more. She is free to do whatever and say whatever she wants, she owes you nothing.

She's not into you, there's no point in speaking with her anymore. Accept that you are NOT getting back together, you are just there as an ego boost until she finds something better.


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