# My Wife May Need Surgery...



## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Whew...

It has been a very trying few weeks. I lost my job last week, but fortunately I have been offered a severance package that includes medical...because we're gonna need it.

Yesterday morning after seeing my wife in pain all night, she told me that I needed to take her to the ER. The pain in her back and abdomen was excruciating. I knew immediately, as did she, that she had kidneystones (has a history), but this pain was the worst.

Now I'm not a radiologist, but I was there when the tech took the CT scan, right? OK, well when the first points of white light appeared in her kidneys and the tech said "There's one." I knew that the "white light" was from the density of the stone. What I saw next was disconcerting.

2 very large points of light in the left and right kidneys. My immediate thought was "OMG...How can she pass those?"

I didn't say a word though. I didn't want to tell her my fears, so I waited for the attending physician. He came in and gave her pain meds and flomax to increase urination to assist in passing the stones. Hmm...I was still wondering, but he's the doc.

So this morning, she wakes up in bad shape and off we go the her PCP for treatment. PCP looks at the images and my wife is there too and he says "You have 2 very large stones." I said "So I was right! What next?". He had the hospitals urologist call tonight and the urologist saw the scan and stated that intervention is required...either surgery or sonic.

My wife has to endure this pain through the weekend until we get her in for treatment. I hate to see her this way.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

Damn MR, sorry I missed this. Sorry about your job. You are smart and talented, you'll find your feet.

Wishing your wife a speedy recovery. Kidney stones are no fun... But good news is they are very treatable. Could have been worse, in other words.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/kidney-stones/basics/definition/con-20024829


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

When it rains, it pours, doesn't it? :frown2:Hope things go well on Monday. I know you'll do your best to make your wife as comfortable as possible this weekend. I hope the time flies for her, and at the very least, she has pain meds.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

What a bummer . I can't even imagine the pain of kidney stones. I hope she's comfortable throughout the weekend and she gets rid of those stones asap.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I really hope thy opt for sonic. Of course it depends on the location and all that .... medical stuff. I've had two friends who used the sonic intervention with excellent results. 

I am not a fan of cutting.

Sending hugs dear friend. Tell the Mrs. she had many friends pulling for a quick and painless recovery.

And I'm also telling karma that it needs to move on, you two have had enough.


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## header (Nov 14, 2015)

I think they break up the stones using radio waves or something. Makes them smaller so they can be passed out of the body without surgery.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Lithotripsy (sound waves) works pretty well. There's also some medicines that can help with stones, and laparoscopy can do miracles. My father in law did all those and was successful. A lot depends on the location of the stones too.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

My husband had the sonic (ESWL) three times. MR, you mentioned there was a history of this. So your wife has had them before? You may already know this, but the really big ones CAN be broken and passed like sand or gravel. When h had his, he was immersed in water from the waist down in a sitting position, and what header describes as radio waves pass through the water and pummel the back, the kidney area. It's like a jacuzzi or hot tub on steroids. H had some bruising to his lower back. His stone was so big, it took three attempts. But there isn't the kind of anesthesia, no putting under, no invasive elements related to tissues or organs, and no stitches. In h's case the doctor put in a stent to keep the big one from coming down and trying to pass. It was the circumference of a quarter. And I was really surprised at how tiny the stones were after the treatments; seriously like sand. 

And she could have smaller stones that might potentially pass. H did; there was quite a collection of smaller ones along with the rocks. 

The really amazing thing was that when he passed the gravel, he was supposed to capture some of it in a filter. The doctors sent this away to the lab and were able to tell him what the stones were made up of, and what things to avoid to prevent future stones. There seem to be two major types of combinations of minerals that make up kidneys stones. He would occasionally have a small one or two, tiny, but he hasn't had one in a long time. 

Really sorry your wife is having to suffer through the weekend. And sorry about your job. I agree with Pluto2, time for karma to move along! 

Best wishes.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Best wishes and prayers. Hope all goes well, and soon!


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I'm not sure if you guys are mainstream on medical issues, but it is a credible idea that our bodies are capable of healing and defending themselves against these types of things, if given the right tools. Have you considered looking up natural ways to dissolve large kidney stones? I only searched briefly, but these are two of the things I found. The second link is from a licensed physician.

Dissolving Kidney Stones Naturally! - Charis Holistic Center

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/a...ion-you-need-to-know-about-kidney-stones.aspx


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Thank you all very much and I will indeed convey all your well wishes to her once she is up. She's resting, but she seemed to sleep a bit better last night once the pain meds kicked in. All we know at the moment is that the urologist is certain they won't pass given their size (If the points of light were an indicator, I'd say they are both about the size of a marble).
@TeddieG ... Yes, she had her first about 9 years ago (my God...I thought her appendix ruptured seeing her in so much agonizing pain as I raced her to the hospital), and since then she has had two other instances requiring medical attention to aid in the passing and pain.

And regarding your husband...a quarter sized stone? YOUCH!

Thank you all once again.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Sorry you have so much on your shoulders right now MR. Hopefully the Dr.s can get this resolved with one of the non invasive methods. Just focus on getting her better, that is all that really matters right now the rest will work itself out. Hang in there.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Too good to last. She woke up in agonizing pain. Day Three...third trip to the ER. I'm having a difficult time watching her like this. They need to treat her pain or I'm gonna lose it on someone. Gotta go folks.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

MountainRunner said:


> Too good to last. She woke up in agonizing pain. Day Three...third trip to the ER. I'm having a difficult time watching her like this. They need to treat her pain or I'm gonna lose it on someone. Gotta go folks.


I'm so sorry to hear about the pain she is in. If you choose to go the sonic route, why can't they start that today? None of them are open on the weekend? I know hospitals down here in SoCal won't wait for the treatment if you want to travel a bit, although you would pay out of network cost. Personally, I keep looking until someone does something in a timely manner. Hope she gets some relief soon.


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## Annie123 (Apr 27, 2015)

So sorry to hear what you're going through. I know it must be tough seeing her in so much pain and I truly hope they can do something rather today than tomorrow to permanently help her. Stay strong!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

You can insist that they keep her in the hospital for pain control until they can treat the kidney stone definitively. IV pain control is much more effective than oral and they can try combinations they cannot try in an out patient setting. They tried out-patient pain control and it didn't work they need to do more.

Find your own way of saying the above. Stay calm and courteous but insistent and authoritative. One thing to remember, the hospital and doctors are risk aversive, they want to avoid having their decisions open to question by the higher ups. You have to make it a safer move for them to admit her than to deny her admittance because they think they won't get paid. 

Don't take no for an answer. Always stay reasonable, if you get angry they are within their rights to have security escort you out to protect other patients.. Ask to speak to the the attending physician and the patient advocate. 

Point out calmly that you have made several trips to the ER with a wife who is in great pain. Her pain does not take a weekend off or wait for a specialist to show up. They should have treated her ASAP, no matter what the time. Her pain makes the situation an emergency.

God bless you and your wife Mountain.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

My wife had one of those a couple of years ago and it was agonizing to watch her in so much pain. I wish your wife speedy treatment and recovery.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

So sorry to hear this! I hope she is able to get to feeling better soon which ever way they are able to help her!


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Prayers for you and your wife.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Thank you one and all. I insisted she stay in bed today and keep movement to a minimum. Made sure to keep up on her pain meds and she has managed to keep some food down and pain to a tolerable level. Tomorrow we talk to the urologist about an appointment to come in and deal with the stones. I'm sure the first course of action will be to see if they can shatter the stones so she can pass them. How successful they are will determine whether or not they have to go in and extricate them.

We're both exhausted...and now I've got a cold...jeez. LOL!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Hey, MR. Big prayers going up for you and your beautiful wife. Keep her very, very still. Lots of bed rest. 

I'm going in for my fourth lithotripsy on December 1. Both kidneys had major stones. The treatment worked great for me. I've got two stones left in my right kidney, then it's adios - forever I hope - to these awful things.

I agree that the ER should have kept your wife on a narcotic drip. When I went in about two years ago, I was hooked up to a saline solution to keep me hydrated and morphine for the pain. Nothing beats an IV of meds.

A heating pad on my back while laying still helped when I had flares. For me at least, during my third round of treatment, a stone that measured 16 mm (BIG), exploded, according to the surgeon. It took me several days to pass the bits of stone and I had a few days when it felt like I had a UTI, but the pain is gone.

From what I've been told, stones larger than 5 mm can cause lots of problems if the body tries to pass them. Better to get them crushed ASAP.

Hang in there MR and Mrs. MR!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

How's the Mrs.?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Hey, Mountain, I second Pluto. How is Mrs. MR doing now?

Y'know just because lithotripsy has worked for me doesn't mean it works for everyone. But it is a relatively painless and quick way to get rid of troublesome stones.

Please update us when you have a minute. I know the pain your wife is enduring. Kidney stone pain surpasses childbirth or a bullet wound, from what I've read. It is hellish. 

Hang in there, Mountain. We're here for you.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

I just literally got in from dropping her off at the hospital. She has been admitted as the stone, the size of a marble, has not moved out of the kidney so the urologist stated that she will need at least lithotripsy in an attempt to shatter the stone. I would have spent the night, but the critters needed to be tended to, so I will be back tomorrow morning. She is still in pain, but is being treated. Thank you all for asking and your kind thoughts for her. This past 2 weeks have been very stressful for both of us, but we will see this through. I wrote her a little note tonight and sent it to her in hopes she'll smile and feel good....



> _*My sweet, beautiful, wife...
> I am home now taking care of our critters, but I want you to know this...
> As I left you today, I really did not want to. I have stood by your side this past week watching you endure this pain and wishing I could take it for you. I have done my best to care for you and comfort you...but I know I could not do the one thing that I wanted to do...to take your pain away.
> As I drove home tonight, you never left my mind and you most definitely have never left my heart. I love you so very much darling that it was almost unbearable watching you over this past week...but if you could bear the pain, I suppose the least I could do was to be there for you to comfort and care for you. I can only wish that it was enough.
> ...


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

MountainRunner said:


> I just literally got in from dropping her off at the hospital. She has been admitted as the stone, the size of a marble, has not moved out of the kidney so the urologist stated that she will need at least lithotripsy in an attempt to shatter the stone. I would have spent the night, but the critters needed to be tended to, so I will be back tomorrow morning. She is still in pain, but is being treated. Thank you all for asking and your kind thoughts for her. This past 2 weeks have been very stressful for both of us, but we will see this through. I wrote her a little note tonight and sent it to her in hopes she'll smile and feel good....


OMG, SOOO sweet, MR. So wonderful and amazing. Your letter is beautiful. She'll probably sleep better if she knows the critters are good and you're not bent into a side chair trying to sleep (unless, of course, the drip is good and she won't know the difference). 

Here's hoping that bad boy breaks up and shatters on the first try and there's nothing but sand from here on out. 

Keep us posted!


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

The procedure was unsuccessful. And to top everything off, when I came home with my wife's belongings, I was so busy getting the critters taken care of that I left her purse in the car (in our driveway of course). First thing this morning we start getting fraud alerts...realizing that I had left the purse in the car, I ran out to find that someone stole her purse. Credit cards, ID, $400 dollars cash, $800 dollar prescription shades and her prescription pain meds.

I seriously don't know how much more stress I can take. Caring for my wife has also pretty much put my job search on hold until we can get these stones out and her pain under control.

I'm afraid to ask if anything worse can go wrong for us.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

Mountain: I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this.

I hope for the best for her. I truly hope she feels better soon and you're able to find a good job. Best wishes to you and your family!


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

MountainRunner said:


> I just literally got in from dropping her off at the hospital. She has been admitted as the stone, the size of a marble, has not moved out of the kidney so the urologist stated that she will need at least lithotripsy in an attempt to shatter the stone. I would have spent the night, but the critters needed to be tended to, so I will be back tomorrow morning. She is still in pain, but is being treated. Thank you all for asking and your kind thoughts for her. This past 2 weeks have been very stressful for both of us, but we will see this through. I wrote her a little note tonight and sent it to her in hopes she'll smile and feel good....


MR ~
The letter you wrote to your wife is amazing! You have more love in just one sentence than my STBX has in his entire body. I'm sorry your life is lousy right now but it will change. Gotta accept those ebbs and flows!
VH


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

She's home.

I am so worn down to a raw nerve it is unreal. I did something real ****ish at the hospital today though. For the past week, I have really had to put my life on hold to care for her, right? don't get me wrong...I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but every trip to the hospital is 1.5 hours and I have been making this drive daily to take her to the ER and also to see her when she got admitted. Anyway, upon arrival at the hospital (11AM), I drop off her prescription for percocet, right? The tech tells me "About 35-40 minutes." Cool...

I then go to see her as she was to be discharged. I hang until about 1PM and I tell her that I'm going to get her prescription. At the pharmacy there appears to be a problem. The meds have been put on hold, so the tech calls the ward and asks the nurse to release them. She refuses to release them. I give the tech a pice of my mind and tell him I will be back.

So I race down to the nursing station demanding to speak to the nurse who refused them. She shows up and I was very curt with her and I raised my voice telling her that I am in a rather foul mood as I have had a pretty crappy couple of weeks. She then tells me that my wife will not be discharged today and that is why she wouldn't release the meds. WTF? No discharge? Why? Her nausea. Ugh

OK..Well, after waiting until about 3PM doc decides to release her and they lift the hold. So I go up around 4PM to the pharmacy and they say "ten minutes"..so I wait...and wait...and wait. After 40 minutes, I walk up and ask again..."ten minutes"

I exploded and unleashed on them.

I got the meds, but my wife was unhappy with my behavior...but I only wanted to get her home and comfortable and I was tired of being jerked around.

I could have played it cooler, but I am at the end of my rope. Sorry.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Ugh sorry @MountainRunner, so you're not perfect. Hope Mrs. MR is resting comfortably!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Keep breathing MR.

The last few weeks have been hell for you both, just in different ways. Go for a run and clear your head. Tell Mrs. she's right, you were a jerk. And maybe say its nothing that having her home safe and sound can't make right again.

Sending you both happy and non-eventful vibes.


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## Granny7 (Feb 2, 2013)

Mountain Runner,
You know I'm praying for your wife and so many things have been suggested do work well. It's good to know that she's finally home. It sounds like you both have been to hell and back. I don't know what else could have gone wrong. What a beautiful letter you wrote also, I can't imagine my husband and he never has a letter like you wrote your wife. You are a very good husband and caregiver. I'm sure she appreciated it. I still can't believe they sent her home and wanted her to wait till it was convenient for them to come in and get her out of pain. They did that to my Mom, took her the emergency room and made her wait another day with black feet, no circulation till the doctor could come in on Monday. I lost it also, so don't feel bad. Glad your both back home.
Granny7


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

MountainRunner said:


> She's home.
> 
> I am so worn down to a raw nerve it is unreal. I did something real ****ish at the hospital today though. For the past week, I have really had to put my life on hold to care for her, right? don't get me wrong...I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but every trip to the hospital is 1.5 hours and I have been making this drive daily to take her to the ER and also to see her when she got admitted. Anyway, upon arrival at the hospital (11AM), I drop off her prescription for percocet, right? The tech tells me "About 35-40 minutes." Cool...
> 
> ...


MR ~
I would have acted the same way.
Give yourself a break.
VH


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## Granny7 (Feb 2, 2013)

VeryHurt said:


> MR ~
> I would have acted the same way.
> Give yourself a break.
> VH


Mountain Runner,

How is your wife feeling, any better? I'm so sorry you are going through this, along with your loving wife. Being in horrible pain is awful, believe me I know, with my back pain. So it takes a lot of patience to be able to deal with it on both your parts, but probably harder for her. I know that you are taking good care of it because you love her. I hope things get better for both of you soon.

Take care of yourself also.

Granny7


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Oh geez


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