# POLL: Do you define yourself using your father's values?



## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

I find some of the stickied stereotypes and generalizations about identities to seemingly ignore decades of work in academia (yeah, take it for what its worth) and social sciences, so my question is related to this. Do men today still hold themselves to the values and 'ideal' vision of manliness that their father's or grandfather's had, or is the ideal man instead one who is contributes to his society and is ultimately happy with himself? Maybe it is combination?


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## Torrivien (Aug 26, 2012)

I voted no because he didn't really have any moral compass.
But I think that people that had good dads should pick what made them good and leave the bad.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

My Father and Grandfather were honest and virtuous men, to a fault. They were strong men and true to their convictions. Grand Dad was a veteran of the 1st great war, Dad was in the 2nd. They were both proud of their professional accomplishment in life. They led and taught by example. Yes, I do go on about them given the opportunity. Their most proud accomplishment was that they were able to provide an environment for their families to grow and flourish. As men they defined themselves as good and loving husband, father and son. Even though the world has change, I have no problem following these values and I do believe that more men should have such convictions.


Great thread, Coyl. TY


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

My dad cheated on my mom. 
Then, in order to not pay child support, tried to get sole custody of me. 
In business, he setup a corporation next to his partnership (stupid in my opinion) so he could charge his partnership for work provided by the corporation, and overcharged them a bunch. 
Plus he claimed a really low income on his taxes. 

I do the opposite of what my dad did.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

My dad beat my mother cheated on her repeatedly, beat and cheated on my stepmom repeatedly, gave her herpies, divorced her after 25 years married another chic didn't tell her he had herpies until she got it. So no my dads values are a little shaky to put it mildly. By the grace of god I had a step dad that was awesome, uncles that influenced me and I worked for one of the best men to ever live when I was a teenager. His words ring in my head a decade and a half later. I have taken the best parts (or at least tried) of each man and tried to follow those values. I pray to god daily that I instill that into my son.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

My father walked on my mother just before my fourth birthday.
The only attribute he ever displayed was paying child support for three children under the age of eleven and he sent her a alimony check the week before he died.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My father wasn't always the easiest to get a long with in my teens. However he was the most honest man I have ever known. In his actions he showed me what true honesty was no matter the size of the issue. He once gave me a teaching lesson he didn't even realize he had given it to me, it was just how he worked. He set the ethics bar extremely high that day when I was 18 or 19. When faced with moral decisions I very often look back at that moment and try and base my decision on that lesson. I wish I could say I always met the litmus test but I haven't. But it has allowed me to make better choices on most occasions. His father on the other hand was a drunken philanderer so I suppose that in itself set him to find a better path. Dad passed away this past winter. I think of him often and with honor.


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