# Is it time?



## Xavier (Oct 26, 2010)

All,

I've been married for about five years. We jumped in quickly, and I thought this was it, that we had a bond on all levels. Turns out, I was quite wrong. Our sex drives are completely opposite (her: once a week, maybe; me: more...), but I've somewhat learned to live with that. I wonder, however, if it's caused resentment. I'll do anything for my friends, and am always willing to help out a stranger. She would rather be alone, and stay that way. 
There has, for the last several years, been very little emotional connection. I was laid off from a job that I hated, but shortly thereafter picked up a good, if not as well-paying job. She was less than supportive, and I felt that I was on my own. I told her this, and got little response. Of late, she works a lot, and when she returns home just stares at her blackberry or gets on the computer. Maybe we'll watch some TV together. 
I understand the job she has, and I don't mind spending time by myself, or even getting together with friends (though this then causes jealousy on her part). But, there comes a time when I have to think - what am I getting out of this? I'm alone, emotionally and physically. I can't help but think that if I'm going to be alone, I'd rather be with the possibility of going out, meeting people, doing things.

So, any advice on when it's time? What is enough? I'm not even sure if I love her any more. This sucks. 

Thanks for any thoughts, and thank you for letting me vent.

X


----------



## joyless (Oct 28, 2010)

Have you thought about why she seems so indifferent? Maybe she needs you to ask her how she is doing not just talk about what is not right for you. It seems she is shutting herself off , it could be fatigue, or feeling emotionally isolated as well.


----------



## Anonny123 (Aug 11, 2010)

Xavier said:


> I'm not even sure if I love her any more. This sucks.


You really need to look into this more. Love is key in a marriage and if you're questioning it 1) you need to find out why and 2) figure out if it's really true.

Trust is lacking in my marriage - I do not trust him at all. I have questioned whether or not I really love him several times and when I think about what loves is it just doesnt add up anymore.


----------



## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Read the book The 5 Love Languages.... I bet you will find some good answers there that might be able to help you with that feeling and void you are wanting from her...and vice versa...have her read it too.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Go to counseling. If she won't go, then go yourself. At the very least, YOU will be a better person for it.


----------

