# Is she really working late?



## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

I am a newbie to this website and wanted to get some opinions/advise on a situation that I am going through. I have been married for 17yrs and my wife is a closing supervisor for the post office. Her hours are ridiculous and there is no "we" time or family time for the matter. She leaves the house at 7:30am, comes home to cook dinner at 3:30pm, and leaves back to work at 4:30 to 9pm. I have three kids and I feel that she is a good mother to a certain extent, however, she is not there for the kids mentally, physically, or emotionally. This has caused a lot of fights between us and even separation. We have become distant and sometimes I ask myself, why be married? Why have a wife, if she is never home but Sundays? She does well financially and I am not asking her to quit, but I would like for her to look for a better position or even go back to being a carrier so that she can be home at a reasonable time. This makes me think negative things when she works these LONG hours (cheating?). She claims that she would never cheat on me, but who knows? Am I being right/wrong for feeling some type of way of her work schedule? Please advise and if anybody is going through a similar situation, I would appreciate your input.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

What is the job? 

For example, I put in 50+ hours a week into my job, so I understand the need to work. Some jobs just require it. 

And is there anyway you could perhaps check in on her at her job?
Or even just drive by the parking lot to see if her car is there. If it isn't, that should send off all the red flags you need. 
If it is, can you go in and see her without causing any disruptions? 

Or could you perhaps get access to her phone if you had to?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Another thing you could do is to be a VAR (voice activated recorder) in her car. Velcro it to surface where it cannot be seen, like under the seat.

Most people who are having affairs talk to their affair partner (AP) going to and from work.

If you do this research your state laws about recording conversations. Do not tell her what you have done even afterwards. 

If after a couple of weeks you get nothing recorded, then good. 

If you do get something then keep the info to yourself and use it to guide other things you do to get information about what's going on.

There is a chance that she is just way too caught up in her job . It sounds to me like your wife is working 60-70 hours every week. I am not sure that even the post office requires that of anyone.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

11-12 hours five days a week is a lot and if she works saturdays too then it's a whole lot. Add to that if she's a salary employee so the hours aren't accounted for and it's even more worrisome.

ap2142 trust your gut and do what ELE mentioned. Put a var in the auto. If she's cheating then you'll find out and if not then you'll have piece and will appreciate her more.


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

Post office until 9pm at night? THAT sounds really odd.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Have you seen a recent pay stub?


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## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

I have seen her pay stub and it does reflect as if she is working the hours due to the pay increase.


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## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

I dont know about going inside the post office to check on her but I can drive by to check to see if her car is around.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Don't assume based on pay. Check the number of hours worked. Check for sick days used or vacation days used. 
While the car being in the parking lot might put your mind at ease, it doesn't necessarily mean she is at work. Just thinking worst case scenario.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

ap2142, what about your income?
Are you employed?
If she handles the bulk of the bills, and her salary reflects the extra hours, then maybe the problem may not be cheating but a bit of resentment setting in.


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## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

I am employed and do not feel insecure that she makes more money than me. There is no resentment on my behalf but as I previously stated, there is no we time or family time with all the hours she works!


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

ap2142 said:


> I am employed and do not feel insecure that she makes more money than me. There is no resentment on my behalf but as I previously stated, there is no we time or family time with all the hours she works!


I think CMAN was pondering if she's resentful toward you.


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## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> I think CMAN was pondering if she's resentful toward you.


She feels resentment towards me when I doubt her fidelity and think negative about the situation.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

VAR in the car and for about $99 you can get a pen var think they are on amazon.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

I worked with the USPS for over 35 years and retired in 2011. Supervisors and Postmasters are usually salaried employees. If she is in the EAS pay scale, her pay stub will show 40 hours per week no matter how many hours she actually works.

I can tell you that I know some Postmasters and Supervisors who work 60 or more hours per week because of Managers who demand that you "get the job done" no matter how many hour that you have to put in. That being said, I have never heard of a job that requires a Supervisor to be present at 9:00 PM. There are occasion (very uncommon) where the mail is heavy and a few carriers are out sick and the Supervisors are required to stay until the last carrier comes back to the office. That can be as late as 6:30-7:00 on occasion but this is very, very rare. All this is assuming that she is employed in a Post Office, Station, or Branch. 

Even given an hour for lunch and a half hour commute she is still working 10 to 12 hours a day. That just does not happen for a Supervisor on a daily basis. 

I have never heard of someone required to work the hours you describe. 

A VAR in her car is the best bet. Get two so you can have one in the car while you check out the other. If she has an iPhone turn on the find my phone function. If she does not have an iPhone you might want to check into a GPS for her car. Something funny is definitely going on here.


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## ap2142 (Aug 3, 2013)

TDSC60 said:


> I worked with the USPS for over 35 years and retired in 2011. Supervisors and Postmasters are usually salaried employees. If she is in the EAS pay scale, her pay stub will show 40 hours per week no matter how many hours she actually works.
> 
> I can tell you that I know some Postmasters and Supervisors who work 60 or more hours per week because of Managers who demand that you "get the job done" no matter how many hour that you have to put in. That being said, I have never heard of a job that requires a Supervisor to be present at 9:00 PM. There are occasion (very uncommon) where the mail is heavy and a few carriers are out sick and the Supervisors are required to stay until the last carrier comes back to the office. That can be as late as 6:30-7:00 on occasion but this is very, very rare. All this is assuming that she is employed in a Post Office, Station, or Branch.
> 
> ...


I am glad to hear from someone who worked in the USPS. As you described, managers do require for supervisors to get the job done as you say. Not that she is at work until 9, but she gets home around 9-930pm. Now with the summer, she claims that there is a lot of open routes due to people being on vacation. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt and she claims that it will get better when she is able to switch to opening supervisor. But like I stated, the hours are ridiculous and I am glad to hear from you that there are supervisors who work 60 or more hours a week. Any other suggestions or advise from you would be greatly appreciated since you know how the USPS works! Thanks!!!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

The job thing is fishy

Here are exact instructions.

Buy 2 sony ICDPX312 voice activated recorders. Best Buy sells them for like 50 bucks. DO NOT BUY THE cheapies. USE LITHIUM batteries. We have examples of 25 hour recordings using them on these sony recorders. Set bit rate to 44K and sensitivity to very high or better. Turn off the beep feature. Its on one of the menus.

Go to Walmart and buy heavy duty velcro.

Use the velcro to attach the var under her seat UP INSIDE. SECURE IT WELL!!!!!! So well even a big bump wont knock it off.

Put the second in whatever room she uses to talk in when you are not around.

Usual warning. If you hear another man get in her car STOP Listening and have a trusted friend tell you what went on. Knowing she is a cheat will kill you. Hearing her moan while another man is inside her will murder you to your very soul!!!!!! You are not strong enough to hear that. Dont try it. I know what I am talking about in this.

Play dumb husband for a bit. Dont drive her further underground! NO MORE CONFRONTS!! NEVER give up you get your intel from the VAR. You always got your info from a PI or someone saw them.

If you need clean up the recordings get Audacity. Its free from the internet. I have used it on var work for others here to remove things like engine noise. If needed, I have done var work for three men here. RDMU is the only one who has released some of the confidentiality. Read his second thread for my reliability and confidentiality. NEVER GIVE UP YOUR ELECTRONIC EVIDENCE. They were seen by a PI or something NOT your VAR!!

The ezoom GPS has been found to be easy to buy at Radio shack and useful.

Look for a burner phone. That is often why wives let the husband "see their phone"

Look for apps on her phone like words with friends. It has a non traceable texting feature.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

soulsearch said:


> Post office until 9pm at night? THAT sounds really odd.


My BIL worked at the Post Office 4 - 12am.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Well, I'm in information technology so I have had jobs or projects where hours like that are "normal", at least for some period of time.

Seems unusual that even a person at the supervisor level at the post office would work that many hours on a consistent basis. I couldn't imagine it would be a typical workday. Who knows ... post office branches are all different and if she worked at a large one then maybe that's the case. There is also a difference between "required" and "choosing" to. It is possible she's convinced herself she needs to and she is a workaholic.

If everything is as she says it is, I would still worry. A person cannot work that many hours on a regular basis without getting worn out. It is no wonder she is mentally, physically and emotionally unavailable. People tend to find ways to cope after they get to a certain point ... and cheating is one way people cope.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

If she has a smart phone you can put a spy app on it (personal cell only NO WORK PHONES) and get basically see everything she does on it (text, calls, pics, emails, etc), including the phones location by GPS. More than like likely a cheater will bring their cell with them wherever in case of an emergency, so if her car is where she says it would be but her phone isn't you more likely have a problem. Also there is an environmental listening feature where you can hear everything in the room using the phone mic.

It helps me keep tabs


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