# Seeing the affair partner



## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

Anyone else have to go through this? I've pretty much banished these people from my life, as much as I can anyway, including their friends and family. I will have no part of them anywhere in my life. 

Unfortunately, this does not extend to the workplace. I work at a seafood processing plant, and two of them work there. It was so stressful to me that I switched to nights so I didn't have to see them. 

Now the schedule has been changed and us night people are going to be coming in an hour and a half earlier, to assist with the day crew in finishing up their stuff. Which means I have to work with these a-holes again.

To be fair, my bosses know the situation and have always tried to make it at least a LITTLE easier on me, such as not having us work side by side or something. But I don't even want to be in the same building as them. 

I wonder if there's some legal thing where they can't force me to work with them.

Anyone else gotta deal with that crap?


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I haven't read thru all your threads, but you've admitted to breaking up multiple marriages by being the OM. I know your WW paid serial cheated on you, but I'm sorry. I don't have much sympathy for you. No doubt the BS's you wronged would love to see the shoe on the other foot. You too were a serial cheater.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I haven't read thru all your threads, but you've admitted to breaking up multiple marriages by being the OM. I know your WW paid serial cheated on you, but I'm sorry. I don't have much sympathy for you. No doubt the BS's you wronged would love to see the shoe on the other foot. You too were a serial cheater.


Is this true OP? Maybe someone needs to throw nails into your driveway, or sic some drug dealers on you.


----------



## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

Is just not healthy for you man, you have to leave that enviroment, you will never heal properly as long as you have to be in the same enviroment as the OMs.

their sole presence will be a constant reminder of what happend, they are walking triggers that will bother you as long as you see them, and if they laugh, whisper or stare even for a second at you, your mind will play tricks thinking that everything is about you and that they want to mess with you.

my advice look for other JOB as it seem that inyour current company don't have such thing as a policy of firing employes for improper personal relationships, or maybe they have them but you will have to raise hell with the top chiefs in the company (HR top manager, directives and the board of the company)


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> Is this true OP? Maybe someone needs to throw nails into your driveway, or sic some drug dealers on you.





> Thanks. I wouldnt call myself honorable...i can be a bastard. Ive been the other man myself and ruined some marriages....and damn am i sorry about it. Never gonna do it again tho.
> 
> I was raised with old fashioned ideas about sex tho. Ive had unmarried sex but except for one or two partners theres always been deep, caring emotions going on. Pure mechanical sex is, to me, just awful.
> 
> ...


From this thread:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/60607-so-heres-where-im.html


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I don't think there are any legal avenues however there may be HR avenues.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Difficult situation, you will just gave to tough it out.


----------



## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> From this thread:
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/60607-so-heres-where-im.html


Wow I just read this thread and instead make me hate him, it just made me feel worst for him.

dude you are married to a totally broken person, she is not going to change unless she put alot of effort in doing it (IC, support groups, books learning the nature of her bahviour), and obviously she does not want to really change she just want to placate you.

for what I have seen she is even the agressor in some of the situations and in other she is just really easy "target" (she just need a little encouragement and BUM, she is opening her legs for the OMs).

Still the advice is the same regarding your question, quit or Dig in to the company policies to get them fired or removed from your shift (in all moment).

also dude, wake up she is going to do it again. maybe in one year, 2 years or five years, but I assure you she will do it again, is better to realize it now that keep living in delusion state.

(and yeah Karma is collecting, but you are probably already paying interests, I advice you to seriously research about serial cheaters to see how difficult is for someone like that to change)


----------



## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Jadiel said:


> I wonder if there's some legal thing where they can't force me to work with them.


There is a legal thing that will keep you from having to work with them. Its know as a letter of resignation.


----------



## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

Yes yes I'm not perfect either. And if these guys whose girls I banged wanted to kick my ass I'd deserve it. And if it makes a difference, I never went around just targeting girls in relationships for the fun of it. Also, if the guy is a cheater too, then whatever. He has no right to complain.

For those wondering why I stay, well, there's another thread where i explain some of it. If I can find it I'll link it here.

Here's some of it:

For those who don't know my story, well lets just say my wife is major ****. BUT....

1) Despite what people always say, I know damn well it's at least partially my fault. Someone will say "No it's NEVER your fault..." Sometimes it is. At least a little bit.

2) Despite the fact that she's a lying cheating ***** (at least WAS) we get along pretty well most of the time. Better than a lot of other couples do.

3) No way I'm leaving my little girl. Yeah yeah, I can see her on weekends and stuff. No thanks. 

4) Financial reasons. Neither of us can really afford to live on our own, and this is a nice house. I'm not going to live in a rat infested motel or a trailer park with all the junkies.

5) I just plain like it here. Nice house, nice neighborhood, etc...

6) I'm protecting the kids from whatever ********* she'd shack up with next. She has a habit of picking really, really awful guys. One of the guys she cheated on me with is a CHILD MOLESTER. He's right up on the sex offender registry. Raped a 12 year old girl or something. There's also various alcoholics, drug addicts, etc....This is what she chooses for men. 

Which doesn't say much about me, but trust me, I'm the cream of the crop compared to her usual types. I'm a little moody and impatient sometime, and I smoke a little pot, but that's the worst of it. 

7) Probably my most selfish reason, but at least I admit it: I get to do whatever I want. I have a permanent upper hand in our marriage because I'm not a cheater. I don't abuse this privilege, but the fact is she never gets to be mad at me again. As far as I'm concerned, the fact I didn't cut her skin off and make a suit out of it nominates me for Man of the Year.


----------



## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Tell her you will stay with her but a divorce is a must in order for you to work things out. Get all the financial stuff out of the way and split custody 50/50. 

You can still stay living with her and who knows maybe later you can get married again. I personally would walk and take my child with me but that is just what I would do. 

In my divorce I kept the kids and the house and still threw half of her belongings in the trash. She got nothing in the end. 

You are the only person that can protect yourself and your child.

Might be time to start looking at it that way. 

Clay


----------



## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

Jadiel said:


> Also, if the guy is a cheater too, then whatever. He has no right to complain.
> 
> As far as I'm concerned, the fact I didn't cut her skin off and make a suit out of it nominates me for Man of the Year.


Yeah, you get my vote, too. You're a keeper, that's for sure.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Given the absolutely glowing description that you've provided for your wife, along with what seems to be no surplus in terms of self-esteem or pride on your part, I'd think that, since you're able to ration out and regularly dine upon the 7-course sh*t feast with which she has so graciously blessed you, working alongside a few OMs would be a walk in the park for you.

If not, get another job.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


----------



## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

Don't think that there is much that can be done other than look for alternate employment. HR isn't likely to care about personal issues between employees, so long as it doesn't affect work place safety or productivity.

What a mess. Hopefully no more households are destroyed because of you two.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Jadiel said:


> 1) Despite what people always say, I know damn well it's at least partially my fault. Someone will say "No it's NEVER your fault..." Sometimes it is. At least a little bit. Wow. We almost never get that level of honesty here.
> 
> 6) I'm protecting the kids from whatever ********* she'd shack up with next.
> Good thinking. Sacrificing for the kids deserves respect.


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Wow this thread went downhill fast. 

I know if I were working with OM (I obliquely am, but fortunately in a different state), I'd be in a fight with him the very first time I laid eyes on him. And the next, and the next and the next. Then I'd be in jail, but it would be satisfying.


----------

