# Husband & Wife Sex - How often is normal?



## saya2saya (Aug 28, 2011)

Hai all;

Would like to get some good comments from husbands and wives to know what is the regular interval to have sex between a healthy husband and wife? Mine is as follows. Me and wife is together for 7 years....

Normal Sex : Twice per week, mainly on the 2 weekend days.
Just blow job or hand job : Once or twice per week , mainly on weekdays.

Pls post your comments ........


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## ohiodude (Jan 25, 2012)

Married 25 years...
Once a week (on a weekend evening) if I'm lucky. Sex with oral as part of foreplay. Wife unwilling to "spice things up" or try new positions (only 3 permitted.)


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Married 2.5 years (together for 4). Our normal is about 5-7 times a week.


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## saya2saya (Aug 28, 2011)

@that girl.....quite interesting interval ...5 to 7 timnes a week...that means, once in a day.....pls advice some tip on this forum, so that other married couples who keep less intervals may be able to increase and spice up their sex life little more....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lol. But that's just normal for us. We both have high drives.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Married 39 years (got married at 16 & 17). 

It really depends on the week. When she is on her period, I get hand-jobs (which she does VERY well!!) On normal weeks, 3 or 4 times. I give her oral as often as I can, she will give it to me as part of foreplay once a week or so.

It is different when we take a romantic trip. On our 39th anniversary trip to Cancun, I gave her oral around 5 times and we had sex 6 times.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

married 21 years, average 2-3 times a month. less in summer and the holidays because the kids are around and she just cannot get into it when they are in the house. i would like to see 2-3 times a week, she would be happy with once a month


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Married 23 years. Current average is around 2-3 times a week for intercourse. But we've had periods in our marriage where the average was only once a week or every 10 days for intercourse up to multiple times a day (in the first year or so). And one period with a high-risk pregnancy where there was no intercourse (was manual/oral though) for about 10 months or so.

As long as you both are reasonably content, then all's well. Since most couples are not always in sync with their drives and such, it requires some amount of compromise on each partner's part to meet somewhere in the middle, and I think some fluctation is normal. Just as long as it doesn't go down to zero and stay there. 

Best wishes.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I think people often ask the question because they are wanting to justify their own drive. Often it is because a spouse is telling them that their drive is too high.

What you have is normal for you.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Larry,
Since when does "normal" imply healthy or reasonable or fair? 




larry.gray said:


> I think people often ask the question because they are wanting to justify their own drive. Often it is because a spouse is telling them that their drive is too high.
> 
> What you have is normal for you.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

saya2saya said:


> @that girl.....quite interesting interval ...5 to 7 timnes a week...that means, once in a day.....pls advice some tip on this forum, so that other married couples who keep less intervals may be able to increase and spice up their sex life little more....


It is very simple. Any time you can you have sex do 

I'm very high drive, and wifey is too except she has a hard time separating "momy" from "sexy" and at times we aren't demonstrating it. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. Pre-kid 3-5 times a day steady was the norm. At 40+ now I can't do more than twice a day.  The norm right now bounces between none or once a week sometimes and then 5+ times a week at other times.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> Larry,
> Since when does "normal" imply healthy or reasonable or fair?


I guess that's up to each couple to decide. You've got to decide what you'll live with.


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

Married 2.5 years (together 12.5 years)
6-7 days a week (some days are 2x)
Oral is just about everyday


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

Normal is 1-3X's/wk I'd say. That was the question. I'd say 80%+ would agree with that.

3-5X's/day is not normal (it is freakish, but all the power to you if it is not interfering in your lives).

Why is sexless easy to define (it is <10X's/yr), but many here refuse to acknowledge normal @ 1-3X's/wk?

Any male who is not getting enough sex will say in 90% of the cases they want it 1-3X's/wk.........


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Married 22 yrs...it wasn't always this way..but our 40's have been the best most rocking years... 4-6 times a week consistently for the past 3 + years. (I even keep a sex calendar to see how long we can keep this up)....
> 
> My husband swears he is not worn out yet and we haven't gotten bored either. Bj's are always forplay and when it is that time of month, he gets it all the way to the finish line.


Is this thread a chance for people to brag about their sex lives or answer the question asked????


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Zero point Zero.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Is this thread a chance for people to brag about their sex lives or answer the question asked????


My intention is not to brag, but when I am happy about something, I do tend to let that shine, a fault of mine is giving more detal than is necesarry, we all have our faults -right ?? . 

.....But the truth is, our sex life would have bored most to living tears (in our past), I had many pathetic inhibitions, and my husband suffered silently, we have come quite a ways, and yes, I am very happy about these things. I have read a ton on sex, and I feel I can offer some insights to others who may struggle in some of the things we did -to get where we are today, I am just as bold talking about the bad stuff. 

I wish Good for all , and I hope all marraiges grow in these very important areas.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My intention is not to brag, but when I am happy about something, I do tend to let that shine, a fault of mine is giving more detal than is necesarry, we all have our faults -right ?? .
> 
> .....But the truth is, our sex life would have bored most to living tears (in our past), I had many pathetic inhibitions, and my husband suffered silently, we have come quite a ways, and yes, I am very happy about these things. I have read a ton on sex, and I feel I can offer some insights to others who may struggle in some of the things we did -to get where we are today, I am just as bold talking about the bad stuff.
> 
> I wish Good for all , and I hope all marraiges grow in these very important areas.


Please continue to provide details and background. I am also faulted for giving much more detail than necessary, or being too long-winded. The reason I am like that is because I know when someone gives me a simple answer, I want to know where the answer comes from. When someone takes the time to be thorough, give background, and details that have formed their opinions, I learn a lot more, and know more about how to apply what I just learned from that person.

BTW, can you guess from what I just said that I work in research and development? In that group, we debate everything, which means we ALWAYS have to give the reasons WHY we think what we think in every topic we discuss; in every finding we present as a lesson learned; and in everything we propose for proof of concept. (Okay, I'm doing it again. My point is please continue to give details and background. Some of us learn from it, and I'm always ready to learn.)


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Married for 27 years, now in our late 40s.

It has widely varied for us at different periods in our marriage. Some of those periods might surprise you.

Early on, 2 - 3 times/week was normal with times when it was almost every day.

When she was pregnant with our first, it was more like once every 2 weeks.

When she was pregnant with our second, she was totally amorous, and I actually struggled to keep up. It lasted like this up until about 3 weeks before our second daughter was born.

We've had times when it's been as infrequent as once/three weeks. That was frustrating for me. I found that in many of these times, I was not paying enough attention to her emotional needs. I needed to change some behaviors and she became more responsive. We also have had a few times when she didn't realize I was frustrated and was neglecting me. We also worked that out.

Recently, it's been about three times/week, but we're also fresh with a few new adventures after we discovered how exciting a long hidden fetish really can be, so we're on a kind of a new honeymoon .


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

HSTS,
Here is what I think.

You rarely have sex 3 times a week. And somehow your wife thinks it is ok to reject you, so you get rejected a lot. And that is why you are chronically angry and so often rude or hostile to the folks on this board. 

Being angry and belligerent can't be helping your cause at home....



QUOTE=Havesomethingtosay;568580]Normal is 1-3X's/wk I'd say. That was the question. I'd say 80%+ would agree with that.

3-5X's/day is not normal (it is freakish, but all the power to you if it is not interfering in your lives).

Why is sexless easy to define (it is <10X's/yr), but many here refuse to acknowledge normal @ 1-3X's/wk?

Any male who is not getting enough sex will say in 90% of the cases they want it 1-3X's/wk.........[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Is this thread a chance for people to brag about their sex lives or answer the question asked????




Well everyone seemed to answer what is normal/routine in the own marriage and i think its only seen as bragging by those who's frequency is less.

What's normal for one couple maybe not be normal for another. Its about compromise and finding a middle ground each partner can be happy with if their drives are different (LD+HD)


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Is this thread a chance for people to brag about their sex lives or answer the question asked????


HA! She wasn't bragging. She was just talking about her sexlife.

Don't hate!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

shy_guy said:


> Please continue to provide details and background. I am also faulted for giving much more detail than necessary, or being too long-winded. The reason I am like that is because I know when someone gives me a simple answer, I want to know where the answer comes from. When someone takes the time to be thorough, give background, and details that have formed their opinions, I learn a lot more, and know more about how to apply what I just learned from that person.
> 
> BTW, can you guess from what I just said that I work in research and development? In that group, we debate everything, which means we ALWAYS have to give the reasons WHY we think what we think in every topic we discuss; in every finding we present as a lesson learned; and in everything we propose for proof of concept. (Okay, I'm doing it again. My point is please continue to give details and background. Some of us learn from it, and I'm always ready to learn.)


You know what Shy Guy....I freaking like you! And I "think" near identical......you just explained back to me the WHYs I am the way I am ...and so true....I also like to hear where the answer comes from, I want the "roots"...... I am also capable of being an obsessive researcher when I am interested in a particular subject... and DEBATE.... I could do it all day... Reason is near my God, I LOVE to learn... And Yes, I also appreciate the juicy details, so there you go, I guess this explains "ME".....as you have just explained yourself right here! 

God I appreciated that !


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## Claude Veritas (Jan 29, 2012)

Man and Woman needs to be in Spontaneous Synergy,Symbiosis and Mutuality...( literally)

The Basis is mutual Love...whether its being in the Power of Agape, Storge, Philos and Power of Eros...

We have Sex , which has no frequency thats stipulated...We have it with almost easy mutual consent,want n need n Love's Abandon...Its all About Mutual Love and Belonging..and the Drive it gives for Fluent, Strong unions, Balanced by itself, in Power..Passionate ,rising in its Glorious Mutual Pleasure n Ecstasy, Contentment...

----Sounded poetic ,idealistic..? Its All About It and All that needs to be there and Is, till its End of Times...call it Eternal Love or Union...for its Just The Life as One....Dynamic,Special and Abundant..whether its foreplay ,bj,quickie or comprehensive..its total and full each moment of it...


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> Is this thread a chance for people to brag about their sex lives or answer the question asked????


I didn't see those who posted about their active married sex lives as bragging. Perhaps if there are frequency issues in a marriage hearing about the frequency with which others are having sex might seem like bragging even though it's not bragging. People gave answers and some elaborated on those answers. There aren't any parameters on this question saying just simply give me a number only and no other details. 

I think the OP might have more responses if he put this as a poll.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Married 12 years and it flucates according to my health lately. We were 5-6 days a week for the last 5-6 months until I ended up in the hospital 5 nights for a massive kidney infection. No locks on the door there. I was feeling fine while on the pain pump.lol. I'm still sick 3 weeks later due to not finding the right antibiotic. Tomorrow I go in for antibiotic 4. We managed to get in 2 sessions last week, but it really hurt my kidney. You'd be surprised how sensitive your orgarns are when swollen. Hopefully we will get back to where we were. I'm the more adventurous one. Before my drive kicked in we had weekend sex only(2 times a week). Our kids are a little older, so we have sex more often and during the week. We just lock the door when they are consumed in a project or game, so they don't knock on the door.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> I hope everything goes well with getting rid of your kidney infection. Enjoy reading your posts.


Thank you Dean. The last thing I need is another chronic condition since I only have one kidney(horseshoe kidney) that can not ever be seperated. I'm thinking the new lube we tried was the culprit. It's too bad, it was a fantastic feeling lube. The lube gave me a UTI and with my kidney deformed, it turned ugly quickly! The first two days in the hospital my husband was trying so hard to fight back the tears. I've never seen him cry in the last 13 years. I must of looked pretty bad. This was the most painful experience I've ever been through. It's worse then a gallbladder pain, my gallbladder quit working in 2006 and I had it taken out.

It's strange how many health problems I run into. We are a very healthy family. We focus on healthy and organic eating. Exercise is important too, my husband is a triathlete and races in ironmans. I use to run 36 miles a week before I broke my neck, but now I bike everyday on the stationary bike.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Married for 2 years and at present I can look forward to twice a week. Of course nothing is a given...we have gone for two to three weeks without due to illness and when we first met it was once or twice a day. "Normal" is really kind of hard to nail down...


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

MEM11363 said:


> HSTS,
> Here is what I think.
> 
> You rarely have sex 3 times a week. And somehow your wife thinks it is ok to reject you, so you get rejected a lot. And that is why you are chronically angry and so often rude or hostile to the folks on this board.
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]

And I think you have a problem with the tone of my posts, because I don't have my pom poms at the ready to rejoice and confirm each persons posts. You seem upset that anyone would contradict your posts (which I have), and don't like any caustic posts that don't always support 100% the OP.

The OP here asked "How often is normal?", not "How Often do you have sex?". 

Personally I would find the thread much more interesting to hear those who have it 4+X's/wk (even when very sick) to tell us what they think is normal (or if they think 2X/wk is normal). A sexless spouse may say 1X/2 wks is normal...... Or to say early in a relationship 1X/day, reducing to 2-3X's/wk @ 1 yr, much less with young children, and after 20 yrs 1X/wk..... That is what I think was being asked in the Op and that makes for an interesting discussion, not everyone bragging or lamenting about their own situation.

Yes the OP stated his/her frequency. I chose to answer the title of the thread and very few others have.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> ..The OP here asked "How often is normal?", not "How Often do you have sex?"....


Exactly. :iagree:

'Normal', for you.. is whatever seems to be working for the both of you.

Depending on your age... Kinsey reports (for married - 30-39 year old) most are somewhere between monthly and 2-3 times per week. 20% of that group report once per month or less. For all married men in total... "1% of married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 13% reported only a few times in the past year, 43% reported a few times in the past month, 36% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week." (1994)

More recent stats (2005) that include all men (married or not) report: "18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year."

The Kinsey Institute - Sexuality Information Links - FAQ [Related Resources]

Note - these are simply statistics. Mean averages. What you should be asking is if your current situation is working for you... or not.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

"Normal" is largely circumstantial, isn't it?

What was normal for my wife and I early in our marriage as childless apartment dwellers would be impossible today with two young kids, added career responsibilities, a house to look after, each doing our best to remain fit (which usually means she hits the gym before the kids get up and I go when they go to sleep), etc.
So, needless to say, frequency has fallen over the years. But I'd never consider one "normal" and the other "abnormal."

Whatever keeps you happy and connected is "normal."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

FrankKissel said:


> "Normal" is largely circumstantial, isn't it?
> 
> What was normal for my wife and I early in our marriage as childless apartment dwellers would be impossible today with two young kids, added career responsibilities, a house to look after, each doing our best to remain fit (which usually means she hits the gym before the kids get up and I go when they go to sleep), etc.
> So, needless to say, frequency has fallen over the years. But I'd never consider one "normal" and the other "abnormal."
> ...


No I have no problem saying more then 1X per day is abnormal and less then 1X er month abnormal. Why is that so hard to say.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> No I have no problem saying more then 1X per day is abnormal and less then 1X er month abnormal. Why is that so hard to say.


If a couple is happy going at it 15 times a week, there's nothing abnormal about it. 
Likewise, if a couple is content doing it 10 times a year, that's normal, too.

Not suggesting either would be ideal for me, but I'm not in the business of deciding what's normal for other people when it comes to frequency of coitus. What I do feel comfortable saying, though, is that a mutually satisfying sex life is normal, regardless of how many sessions it takes to reach that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

FrankKissel said:


> If a couple is happy going at it 15 times a week, there's nothing abnormal about it.
> Likewise, if a couple is content doing it 10 times a year, that's normal, too.
> 
> Not suggesting either would be ideal for me, but I'm not in the business of deciding what's normal for other people when it comes to frequency of coitus. What I do feel comfortable saying, though, is that a mutually satisfying sex life is normal, regardless of how many sessions it takes to reach that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have no problem saying that both is unhealthy in the long run. 15X's/wk tells me you have no time to lead a well rounded life and probably can be traced back to childhood trauma. 10X/yr is termed sexless, which also is abnormal and an issue. But if your happy, that is fine, however that is not NORMAL.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Havesomethingtosay said:


> No I have no problem saying more then 1X per day is abnormal and less then 1X er month abnormal. Why is that so hard to say.


I've picked up on this discussion, and here's my take. I'm not trying to speak for the OP, but this is what I think when on this board.

When I read something like what you just said, I first think that you have nothing to back that up with. It is nothing useful to me. You have no source, cite no references, and you do not defend your position outside of what you think someone who is normal would say. Normally, when I read a response like that, my thought is to think of the person as trying to put forward an assumption and pass it off as something they know. I'll then immediately dismiss that answer and move on - it doesn't even figure into the conclusions I'll draw later except to make me think that some people just throw answers out and expect others to just take their word for it. That's an honest answer from me stating my honest opinion about that approach.

So what can we offer? First, this is not a scientific forum, and I think everybody on here understands that. Nobody that I have seen has any real, substantive first-hand research that they are posting here. Also, nobody is expecting to find scientifically backed research complete with cited sources and references. Likewise, nobody really thinks they can conduct scientific research on a forum like this. Nobody is going to take posts here and use that as the basis for a research thesis that he/she will defend in front of a room full of Ph.Ds. (If they were, the short answers would be the least helpful responses in their efforts.)

So why would somebody come here and ask questions? I would say the real value is in the experience that people are willing to share. Of course, I come here expecting that nobody can really define "normal" for me. I don't expect anybody's experience to extend much beyond their own personal circumstances, so when I read answers, I try to see what people define as normal for them. There is going to be a diversity of answers show up, but that is what a forum is for. As people add their experiences, I begin to be able to draw some conclusions about the diversity and ranges, and I'm doing it based on what I think about what they are willing to share. It becomes my opinion - something it would not be if I just read someone saying "2 - 3 times a week is normal" and took that person's word for it. I begin to understand a little more about the question, and about how people view it, and my definition of "normal" can then be created based on VERY useful information and experiences.

Of course, people can exaggerate or hold back on a forum, so you have to take that into account. But all in all, I find a forum such as this to be very informative, and part of the reason it is so informative is because people share their experiences and let me understand from that instead of trying to give me a short answer stating an opinion or assumption when I have no idea how that person formed that opinion or made that assumption.

Bottom line in answer to your question here, it's so hard for me to say that because 1. I don't agree with it and 2. it's not useful as an answer in my opinion.


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

Definition of sexless marriage:

Sexless marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Pretty simple to find....

Too much sex is more difficult, but yup I say 1X/day or more is too much in a committed ltr.....


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

What do you draw from that wiki article? Explain your thinking.

Why is more than once/day abnormal? If abnormal, is it damaging? Explain your thinking.

Is the definition really as one size fits all as you are defining?

Is there value that can be added to any of that by free discussion here?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

penetration sex is very bad during a womans period, 7 days off during that time, she can do other things for him, other than that every day sometimes twice, maybe a day off every now and then for a recharge...


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

I have also tried (surfing the net) to see what is 'normal'....maybe 'average' would be a better word for a couple where both work, have 2 children etc.... Why? Because I am accused of being a sex maniac because I'd like it more than once a month.
All it does is give you a guide line. The problems arise when one partner thinks once a month is 'normal' and the other once a week....resentment increases when one side refuses to compromise!

So, my wife thinks once a month (it I'm lucky) is normal, average and acceptable...I don't, so I guess that makes me (in her eyes anyway) a sex maniac!


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## Mr&MrsSmith (Jan 21, 2012)

Married 10 years me 32 wife 30. I believe we are intimate at least 5-7x a week When I am not gone traveling for business.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

nicky1 said:


> penetration sex is very bad during a womans period, 7 days off during that time, she can do other things for him, other than that every day sometimes twice, maybe a day off every now and then for a recharge...


"Very bad" in what way? Do you have any proof of what you claim?

C


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Actually I have heard just the opposite. Sex during menstuation is supposed to be very good for the woman. Helps her with a lot of ailments such as craping, mood swings etc. She is also supposed to be more receptive to orgasms as well. Many women have reported that the only time they can orgasm is during their period. (So I have read).


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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

Normal for us is 5xs a week (or more some weeks). We have been together and having sex since we were 16. We are married 19 yrs and 41 years old now. 3 kids. Normal is whatever you are BOTH happy with. 

We went years with once a week, usually only Saturday nights..... And man, if we missed that Saturday night for some reason it was nothing until next Saturday. I wasn't happy with the sex and she wasn't happy with my once a week sex personality. We both decided we needed to change about 5 years ago. Happy ever since. Things have gotten considerably better as we have gotten older. 

I hope this helps. You don't have to be at 5-7 times a week, but if you aren't happy there can be improvement. It is a lot of work but worth it.


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## nicky1 (Jan 20, 2012)

I only know of the incidence amongst jewish women who with thier husbands practice the torah command of niddah, no sex for 7 days when a woman starts her period, of cervical cancer and is below the margin of error for all other peoples, so i practice too with my wife this, it is like a honeymoon once a month, sex during period plus abortion plus sex with lots of partners equals guaranteed cancer of the cervix, the consequence of sin


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

I'm not talking about multiple partners or what different sects have to say. What I'm talking about is what different sex therapists and some doctors have said.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

We've been married for 12 years now, and at our best it was around 2 to 3 times a week, which was generally before the kids were born. Not including HJ/BJs. 
During the pregnancies, we had sex once, in the first trimester, and thats it. And after they were born, for the first 6-9 months it was very sparse as well.
Ideally, I could live with 1 to 2 times a week. She'd be okay with a couple times a month I suspect. Lately if we have sex twice in a month that's good - and we've been going on a month already right now .

However, what is normal varies widely on the couple and their own situation.


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## truumarriage (Feb 8, 2012)

I'm 31, 3 kids and we have been together for 11 years, our average is 6-8 times a week (he has a very high drive) and oral is not so much...I'd say about 3-4 times a week. Sex with my H is phenomenal! Just not the oral dept.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

Wow, I envy some of you. We only do it once a week (2 kids) but when we do, it is pretty phenomenal. We go at it for about an hour and throw everything in there. Oral, sex toys, different positions everything.


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## atbab (Aug 22, 2011)

Been married 15 years 1-2 times a year. Not my choice!


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## Thunderman (Sep 27, 2010)

I'm pretty impressed with the frequency of which some of the respondents have sex in their relationships! I have to admit I'm more than a bit jealous as well.

In our marriage (10years) we maybe have sex once every 6 weeks or so and that's being optimistic. Believe me I wish it was more frequent but alas it isn't. We've talked about about it in counseling and at home and she promises to work on it. I've set up romantic dates, taken much advice from other posts, bought her jewelry, cars, etc but it is what it is I guess...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

with each other?


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

Thunderman said:


> I'm pretty impressed with the frequency of which some of the respondents have sex in their relationships! I have to admit I'm more than a bit jealous as well.
> 
> In our marriage (10years) we maybe have sex once every 6 weeks or so and that's being optimistic. Believe me I wish it was more frequent but alas it isn't. We've talked about about it in counseling and at home and she promises to work on it. I've set up romantic dates, taken much advice from other posts, bought her jewelry, cars, etc but it is what it is I guess...


Okay let's put a financial cost to it..... How much in jewelry & Cars? Did you need to buy them or spend that much? I know it is crass, but at my lowest I'd put a price to all of that..... Let's say you spent $20,000 more (i.e. a $30,000 car, vs. 20,000, which is perfectly fine, and really jewelry is in the end frivilous) because you want to wow your spouse and want her to be so over the moon that she wants to take you then and there and make love to you all night long (lol). Now take the $20,000 put in investments earning 5% or $1,000/yr and without touching the principle, that would buy erotic massages, call girls & "the girlfriend experience" and you get sex and the release you crave (and yes still love of your wife, who won't have sex as often or as exciting as you want)... Yep that is a shallow way of getting "return on investment", but yes getting sex.....

Sad...


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## truumarriage (Feb 8, 2012)

I think I have hit my peak and so I want a lot, sometimes it makes me feel like a freak...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BlueMoon1111 (Feb 8, 2012)

Been married for 11 years. The first few years it was pretty much each time we saw each other. This include either sex or heavy foreplay when we were out and about at various places where the wife used to enjoy the thrill of "getting caught".

Up to a year ago this diminished to probably an average of once every week, sometimes longer, which I kind of accepted as you never usually have the frequency of those early passionate days togther.

Since our daughter was born just over a year ago, we have had sex on ONE occasion, about 2 months ago, and its kind of got to the stage where I feel awkward even trying to initiate anything, as I this is a something I have had to do the vast majority of times over the past number of years as my wifes sex drive seems to have diminished to me.

Reading some of these posts regarding high frequencies makes me very jealous...what I wouldn't give for some of that!!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

nicky1 said:


> I only know of the incidence amongst jewish women who with thier husbands practice the torah command of niddah, no sex for 7 days when a woman starts her period, of cervical cancer and is below the margin of error for all other peoples, so i practice too with my wife this, it is like a honeymoon once a month, sex during period plus abortion plus sex with lots of partners equals guaranteed cancer of the cervix, the consequence of sin


Right... And all other factors were eliminated. Like maybe diet? Frequency of sex? Religious frigidity? 

And what does abortion and lots of partners have to do with how often a couple has sex? Sensationalize much?

C


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Well, it's been twice a day everyday for the past 2 weeks and it's scaring the crap out of both of us!

We were down to once a month, had a separation and after reconciliation we've been at it the whole time. I thought it would slow down but it's not. I get hornier everyday and she seems to not mind it. She's always had a low drive and over the years I was content with very little sex.

We're only 30, married 4 years.


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## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

In our house rule husband comes daily, whether via intercourse or blow job. I am okay with this. Because I enjoy it too.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

synthetic said:


> Well, it's been twice a day everyday for the past 2 weeks and it's scaring the crap out of both of us!
> 
> We were down to once a month, had a separation and after reconciliation we've been at it the whole time. I thought it would slow down but it's not. I get hornier everyday and she seems to not mind it. She's always had a low drive and over the years I was content with very little sex.
> 
> We're only 30, married 4 years.


Well damn...from once a month to twice a day...I say run with it, don't overthink it, just enjoy it!!


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## Stir Crazy (Feb 10, 2012)

romantic_guy said:


> Married 39 years (got married at 16 & 17).
> 
> It really depends on the week. When she is on her period, I get hand-jobs (which she does VERY well!!).


If she was 16 or 17 when you got married 39 YEARS AGO how is she still having periods???


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Now there's a good point. 16 or 17. Doesn't know how old she was or is?


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

We have been married for almost two years; together for five.

We make love 3-4 times a week which is a compromise on my part.

My husband suffers from retarded ejaculation. If we have sex too often, he has a hard time cumming.

I would be happier with every night, but because of my husband's condition I have had to make an adjustment. I don't enjoy lovemaking as much if my husband does not blow his load.

I still believe that we have more sex than most married couples.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Diolay said:


> Now there's a good point. 16 or 17. Doesn't know how old she was or is?


I think it was 16 AND 17. So one was 16, the other was 17.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

Sorrry dude. Just screwing with ya...


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

It's going to decrease with kids. With kids on a good week, you're talking twice a week, once during the week. Probably about 6 times a month is around average with kids.


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## mdill (Jan 18, 2012)

Don't know what is "normal". We are in our 50's, married 15 yrs, retired, both with busy schedules. We find time for our "happy hour" almost daily, but some day it does work out. So we average about 5-6/wk. The frequency works for us and is our "normal". Quality is more important than the quantity to me.

For those that are younger with kids. It was definitely more difficult to get together in the mood when we worked and had kids at home. It has become more frequent when we had more time and energy in "retirement"


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## dbc (Jul 10, 2011)

i guess this month may be more than average? my wife and i celebrated our 29th anniversary the weekend of the twelfth. during those three days we made love eight times. this past weekend including ( monday her off day ) we made love twice a day.


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## 7737 (Feb 10, 2011)

I wish I was a woman....

'Sorry, can't, I'm on'

...taking the children swimming, having sex, going on a bike ride, going to work (have to add 'pains' for that one)....

My apologies to the ladies here who, when having their period just get on with life....


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Married 18 years
Normal used to be daily or sometimes twice a day for first 5 years then it reduced and now it is normally 4 or so times per week because he works far and is tired. 
He gives good oral and tongue baths and likes oral too. I do not want oral all the time but I like tongue baths a lot.


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