# Boys Nights Out (BNO)



## aine

Ladies, seeing the serious discussion on another thread about GNO, though I would start one on your views on BNOs. Do they bother you, do you approve, do you think there are double standards when it comes to BNO -v- GNO?


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## personofinterest

The snarky cynical part of me wants to reply, this is different because boys have penises so they are better. Lol


In reality, it depends upon the couple. But if you are on the girls night out thread wigging out about making sure your woman stays home, you better not be heading out to that poker game lol

However, and I will probably get flamed for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.


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## Tomara

Either night out depends on the situation, pretty simple.


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## personofinterest

Tomara said:


> Either night out depends on the situation, pretty simple.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 This is far too rational! Everyone must agree with me! If I do not argue, how can I wear my obvious dysfunction on my sleeve???


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Honestly I've seen it go both ways.

Some guys like the ease of drinking with other guys so they don't have the pressure of feeling like they have to talk to a woman at some point and will end up drinking alone.

Guys will shoot pool, gawk at women, again w/o the pressure of acting on any visual appreciation. 

Guys will have a bno going fishing, hunting, other; to be fair, women do these "others" as well.

Some married guys on a bno will still dance with women, some still may get asked by women and dance quite a bit, must always have the "I'm married" speech in pocket.

Some guys would rather go out alone, on a bno, to chat with others they may meet, or watch the band, freedom to come and go as desired without a group is paramount. 

Most dinner bnos involve work, for guys, and certainly doesn't exclude women in same, and it's after dinner that bnos can go off the track.

Many married men no issues, includes me, and in reality doesn't happen as often as we get older.

Now, W and I are comfortable enjoying the trust between us as we've been married 35 yrs, and we don't "forbid" each other, counting on love and good judgment, it frees the mind.

Before marriage, if I was out, anywhere, day or night, I was looking and "catching" pretty much at will, without qualms, but that's a totally different story.


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## Mr.Married

personofinterest said:


> I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.


OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........she admitted it !!!!!!!

>>>>

Obviously I just kidding about. These two threads seem to be as friendly and a joint democrat and republication gathering.


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## 3Xnocharm

I think its important for BOTH partners to have nights out with their friends on their own. Doesnt even have to be nights out.. could be hanging at someone's house watching a game, or having a bonfire, or bbq-ing, or whatever. But it needs to be done in a way that is respectful to your partner. A husband going out to a bar a few times a week and getting wasted and not coming home til 3am (or not at all) is not cool. Yes same applies to wife of course. Also time should be spent with people who arent trying to run around like they are single and trying to get everyone to follow suit. Marriage is not a prison sentence, and common sense and common courtesy should prevail.


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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> The snarky cynical part of me wants to reply, this is different because boys have penises so they are better. Lol



And don’t forget, some penisae (is that the plural?) are better than others!

I think everyone should just stay at home. and at least finish their homework 


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## Middle of Everything

personofinterest said:


> However, and I will probably get flamed for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.


Some might flame you for that, I wont.

To me its obvious you are speaking in generalities here. In general, on average, do more GirlsNO activities involve social situations in public areas where many of both sexes congregate? Yes.

Nothing to be pissy about here. Do girls like dancing and socializing more than men (in general)? Yes.

Are men, in general, more likely to fish or play poker or golf or hunt with their friends? Yes. All activities where there aint a lot of women to potentially cheat with. :grin2:


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## 269370

This is what typically happens:

An average woman walks into a bar (this is not a joke), bends over, 99% of men will want to do her.

An average guy walks into a bar, bends over, he walks out again with police assistance. Or a blue eye.

So in my humbling opinion, girls should be more careful when out there....


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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> This is far too rational! Everyone must agree with me! If I do not argue, how can I wear my obvious dysfunction on my sleeve???



How many espressos have you had this morning? 













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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> However, and I will probably get flamed for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.



But aren’t the girls that are out, cheating with the boys that are out? Should be 50/50 no?
Oh I know....it’s the Chads that get them all!! 



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## 2&out

I have to agree with what I think Ragnar said. Virtually all of the guys night out I've been involved in have been to get AWAY from women - not find them. We for sure look and comment on women but attempting a pick up is rare. If we were going on a slot safari that was known up front ahead of time and I never considered as "guys night out".


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## Faithful Wife

I used to work at a place where the president of the company, some of the sales guys, and some clients would regularly take out of town trips together. They would go deep sea fishing but they also hired hookers and strippers to go back to their condo with them. All of the guys were married.

These were very much old school dude bros who were full of entitlement and money.

I never understood if their wives just turned a blind eye or if they actually hated their husbands and were hoping they would fall off the boat.

I’m not saying this is typical. Just was one group of idiots.


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## Middle of Everything

Faithful Wife said:


> I used to work at a place where the president of the company, some of the sales guys, and some clients would regularly take out of town trips together. They would go deep sea fishing but they also hired hookers and strippers to go back to their condo with them. All of the guys were married.
> 
> These were very much old school dude bros who were full of entitlement and money.
> 
> I never understood if their wives just turned a blind eye or if they actually hated their husbands and were hoping they would fall off the boat.
> 
> I’m not saying this is typical. Just was one group of idiots.


A group of wives for whom the movie "The perfect storm" was wishful thinking. Most people watch it and think "oh so scary and sad". They probably got together on those trips, watched it and giggled dreaming of what ifs.:grin2:


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## ConanHub

I had a close call about 22 years ago and learned my lesson.

It was our first trip back to my hometown after our youngest was born.

I hadn't hung out with the guys in a long time so I had a BNO with Mrs C's approval.

One problem is they were all still single and decided to party. The second problem was me drinking like I did back in highschool.

I woke up next to a gal with a pretty face and who outweighed me by at least a hundred pounds.

Fortunately, only some smooching went on. Mrs. C was not amused and I drove all the way home with a hangover and counted myself lucky. I also stopped getting drunk and didn't go out partying with single guys anymore.


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## BluesPower

personofinterest said:


> The snarky cynical part of me wants to reply, this is different because boys have penises so they are better. Lol
> 
> In reality, it depends upon the couple. But if you are on the girls night out thread wigging out about making sure your woman stays home, you better not be heading out to that poker game lol
> 
> However, and I will probably get flamed for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.


Actually, I think you are right about more cheating happening on the GNO, than the BNO... Although, I have no proof of that, just seems to happen more. 

But here is the deal, if a couple are going out all the time without the other, what is up with that. Why are you even together in the first place? 

I want to go out with my Fiancé or I would not be with her. 

I get that there are some things that one wants to do that the other does not, I get that. But if it is all the time, then I think there is a problem. 

Example, as musician I am expected to show up to certain jams with my band. We are playing there soon and need to plug the show, or really just to see our other musician friends that we don't get to see because we are all playing all of the time. 

Now, sometimes F does not want to go... she is tired, she wants to read or whatever, and that is fine. 

But frankly, it is not as much fun for me... and I have to tell everyone where she is at because they all want to know where she is...


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## personofinterest

> But here is the deal, if a couple are going out all the time without the other, what is up with that. Why are you even together in the first place?
> 
> I want to go out with my Fiancé or I would not be with her.


This. Obviously, I have female friends, and we enjoy things that wouldn't interest hubby (like painting or shopping for shoes or seeing musical theater). But my FAVORITE companion is him. I probably go out without him....maybe 10 times a year, and that includes lunch during work with female friends/coworkers.


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## samyeagar

In the case of my daughters up coming wedding, her bachelorette party is consisting of a several day destination gathering at a rented condo, with the intent of involving strange men, being drunk the whole time, wineries, swim up bars, strippers at the condo. The grooms bachelor party is an overnight being held locally with the day being golfing, and then fishing, drinking and camping.

In my experience, girls nights out are far more likely to be mixed sex without partners than boys nights out.


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## ConanHub

samyeagar said:


> In the case of my daughters up coming wedding, her bachelorette party is consisting of a several day destination gathering at a rented condo, with the intent of involving strange men, being drunk the whole time, wineries, swim up bars, strippers at the condo. The grooms bachelor party is an overnight being held locally with the day being golfing, and then fishing, drinking and camping.
> 
> In my experience, girls nights out are far more likely to be mixed sex without partners than boys nights out.


This is still blowing my mind! I don't know how you, or your future son in law, or any husband of one of these women is so cavalier about what is very clearly SINGLE lady party behavior and I'm talking about loose party girl stuff not close to safe behavior or propriety?


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## CharlieParker

BluesPower said:


> But here is the deal, if a couple are going out all the time without the other, what is up with that. Why are you even together in the first place?
> 
> I want to go out with my *Fiancé* or I would not be with her.


A. I totally agree

B. I missed something, congrats!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

It's not really a bno but;

I've observed guys, out of town for legitimate training classes, conferences etc, that don't get out much, that are the most likely to get into trouble. 

Most of the troubles are hangovers but not from lack of trying to see if they could meet a woman. Very tragic to see, but not infrequent. 

Not to put that out there but that's one reason why there's a saying many dalliances start at work. 

Which is idiocy, who would put career in jeopardy after the most idiotic which is cheating.


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## azimuth

ConanHub said:


> I had a close call about 22 years ago and learned my lesson.
> 
> It was our first trip back to my hometown after our youngest was born.
> 
> I hadn't hung out with the guys in a long time so I had a BNO with Mrs C's approval.
> 
> One problem is they were all still single and decided to party. The second problem was me drinking like I did back in highschool.
> 
> I woke up next to a gal with a pretty face and who outweighed me by at least a hundred pounds.
> 
> Fortunately, only some smooching went on. Mrs. C was not amused and I drove all the way home with a hangover and counted myself lucky. I also stopped getting drunk and didn't go out partying with single guys anymore.



Could you please clarify why you consider this a close call and not cheating?


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## 269370

azimuth said:


> Could you please clarify why you consider this a close call and not cheating?



Maybe because she was overweight? 


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## Faithful Wife

samyeagar said:


> In the case of my daughters up coming wedding, her bachelorette party is consisting of a several day destination gathering at a rented condo, with the intent of involving strange men, being drunk the whole time, wineries, swim up bars, strippers at the condo. The grooms bachelor party is an overnight being held locally with the day being golfing, and then fishing, drinking and camping.
> 
> In my experience, girls nights out are far more likely to be mixed sex without partners than boys nights out.


A couple of years ago, we went on a family vacay to the beach with my adult kids. My son was bummed because going with us meant he was going to miss a friends batchelor party. It was apparently a party bus full of young dudes hitting up all the strip clubs and a couple of stripper friends were already on the bus, too. They knew they would pick up more along the way, girls getting off work at the club might hop on the bus to party. 

This group of friends doesn’t normally do a whole party bus thing so it was apparently epic.

However the strippers are no big deal. We are strip city here and strippers are just “women”. These guys have known, dated and hung out with women in this business for years. It’s not some shocking situation for them to hang out with sex workers.

But the combination on that night was apparently so epic that my son never hears the end of “oh man why didn’t you goooooo that night, it was SO bad ass!”

He teases me now and then about yeah I’m such a good son that I missed out on the party of the century just to hang out with my family at the beach....then implies I owe him something big to pay him back. I just laugh. This kid has partied plenty, he’s not missing out on anything. He has had a better life in some ways than any of those other boys on that bus. He knows it, too.

The last batchelorette party I went to, the bride was actually a bad girl. Meaning she was one in general before this day ever happened. But she met this guy and truly loved him and had been totally faithful. She had no intention of being weird or bad or gross that night.

It turned out all very sweet. Some of the girls tried to make her do dumb things like find a hot guy and get a selfie while grabbing his chest or something. She refused to do it and grabbed one of her female friends chest (with consent) for the selfie and said that would have to do. The others got a little skanky with boys on the dance floor but she just danced with me (I was married and was totally locked down but had fun watching the antics of the other girls). 

This girl would have been my one friend I would have assumed would have had the raunchiest b party ever, but she was just a changed person by then. She really lost any desire to be all up on another man.

Their marriage did not last sadly. But she’s still a much less bad girl ever since.


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## bobert

As a guy, I think it's important for both men and women to have nights out with their friends. That doesn't have to mean going out to bars and getting drunk, though. The BNO and GNO in my friend groups tend to happen on the same night, at different houses/locations. I would have been ecstatic if my wife had wanted to participate in GNO (with my close friend's wives/GF's). I know and trust those friends so I would have had no problem with it.

Every situation can be so different. I have three friend groups who don't typically mingle with one another and the BNO look very different in each group. My boys night 'out' with my closest friends are almost always spent going golfing, bbq, playing board/card/drinking games and rockband. My BNO with my work friends are always spent secluding ourselves and playing D&D. It is a group of executives, directors and sales. At the end of a long work week, we just want to be left the **** alone. Not all executives are entitled bastards. The guy I report to is a VP. His wife's bachelorette was a week in Vegas with her friends, his was spent having a LAN party and played WoW for a week. All he wanted was time with his closest friends and to shut out the world for a week. 

One of my friend groups, who are mostly single people, go to bars every Friday and/or Saturday. I suspect that very few wives would be on board with their husband going out with a bunch of their single friends who are there to get laid, and encourage the married men to get a little somethin' too. There has been varying degrees of cheating by every single person in that group. A lot of cheating by some standards. It really has nothing to do with gender IMO. You're either a ****ty person or you are not, and having a ****ty group of friends doesn't help. I keep them around though. 

The odd time my closest friends and I go to a bar we sit and drink, maybe try to get a single friend laid.


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## ConanHub

azimuth said:


> Could you please clarify why you consider this a close call and not cheating?


I was being watched out for and the gal did the smooching while I was so drunk that I couldn't even stand, much less give consent. 

I still consider it a majorly bad choice to party with the single crowd and get falling down drunk.


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## SunCMars

personofinterest said:


> The snarky cynical part of me wants to reply, this is different because boys have penises so they are better. Lol
> 
> 
> In reality, it depends upon the couple. But if you are on the girls night out thread wigging out about making sure your woman stays home, you better not be heading out to that poker game lol
> 
> However, and I will probably *get flamed* for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.



I would never flame such a set of flank steaks as yours.

I would agree with this, in General.
In Private, I would say some groups of men do this meat tenderizing regularly.

Naturally, it is the 'class' of men that determine this behavior, with big city, heathen 'boys' doing it more often.

And out of the group, the best looking and suave one {scores} ten to one over the others.

Of course, these men can often be discovered by looking at their left hand's ring finger.
That finger is unencumbered, the gold ring conspicuously absent. the white band, that ring of untanned skin is the replacement.

Ah yes, this most often the give-away.

The other give-away?

Watch when one marriage aged man leaves the pack, look for staring and snickering from his pals. 

Of course, this type of behavior is not usually seen in big chain eateries, where families go to eat. 

Expect it more in local dive bars and nicer sports bars that provide entertainment, i.e., bands and singers.
Singers, maybe swingers, not to the music, per-se.


King Brian- 

How do I know? 

I may be looking out at you, or others, from some of these bar mirrors. I am the ultimate voyeur. 

Blimey, those long winter days and nights down in my warren does 'spell' boredom for me and the others of my kind.


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## pastasauce79

I posted in the gno thread.

My husband is a lot more social than me. He likes to get out of the house and do stuff during the weekend and he's always making plans about going places with his family or friends. 

Him and his friends have traveled outside the US together. Those have been trips with his buddies from school or work. I know all of them and he's always kept in touch with me during those times. 

A few months ago he and his high school friends went camping to a 3 day music festival. The festival was huge. He sent pictures of all the craziness that was going on. Him and his friends main purpose was to get cheap beer, not to go crazy like everyone else. Well, the only crazy thing he did was crowd surfing, lol!

I don't have a problem with him going out or traveling with his friends. We have a good relationship and he knows he is married to me because he wants to, not because he has to. I understand his need of a social life, that's who he is. 

My husband is free to choose. He knows I'm not ok with every idea he's got and he knows I won't stay if he ever hurts me. I believe he's got plenty of freedom to feel his social needs are met, and that makes me happy. 

Maybe I'm ok with all this because I like my alone time. I can't be with someone who wants to do everything with me. That feels suffocating to me. I want him to do stuff on his own, the same way I like to do things on my own, keeping our boundaries, love and respect for each other.


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## CharlieParker

Before my bachelor party we had a briefing about look but don't touch and keeping everyone out of "trouble", especially me.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

I get regular boys _days _out. 


After we put in 20+ miles hammering our bikes up thousands of vertical feet of climbing over rugged terrain and, nobody has any energy left for mischief. If we hit the brewpub after, things get pretty sedate the second the adrenaline rush dies down. 

My wife encourages my riding/boys days out:grin2:


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> I used to work at a place where the president of the company, some of the sales guys, and some clients would regularly take out of town trips together. They would go deep sea fishing but they also hired hookers and strippers to go back to their condo with them. All of the guys were married.
> 
> These were very much old school dude bros who were full of entitlement and money.
> 
> I never understood if their wives just turned a blind eye or if they actually hated their husbands and were hoping they would fall off the boat.
> 
> I’m not saying this is typical. Just was one group of idiots.


Maybe they turned their eyes back towards what is in the bank account and were suddenly fine with it.


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## 269370

ConanHub said:


> I was being watched out for and the gal did the smooching while I was so drunk that I couldn't even stand, much less give consent.
> 
> 
> 
> I still consider it a majorly bad choice to party with the single crowd and get falling down drunk.




If you were being ‘watched out’ then the smooching wouldn’t have happened and whoever was watching out for you, would have put you to bed on your own (that’s what I had to do once, when I ‘watched out’). Was the friend also sleeping in bed with you and the girl the whole night, and continued watching out, taking shifts with someone else?
Sorry dude, it doesn’t add up, at least in the way you tell it.


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## TheDudeLebowski

personofinterest said:


> This. Obviously, I have female friends, and we enjoy things that wouldn't interest hubby (like painting or shopping for shoes or seeing musical theater). But my FAVORITE companion is him. I probably go out without him....maybe 10 times a year, and that includes lunch during work with female friends/coworkers.


Have you taken him to Painting With A Twist? Its a freakin blast! Who doesn't want to get drunk and attempt to paint?


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## samyeagar

ConanHub said:


> This is still blowing my mind! I don't know how you, or your future son in law, or any husband of one of these women is so cavalier about what is very clearly SINGLE lady party behavior and I'm talking about loose party girl stuff not close to safe behavior or propriety?


Here's the deal. I find what they are doing entirely distasteful. I also see the very obvious danger. That said, I am at peace with it because I know what my boundaries are, and so does my wife. I know what my course of action is, so in that regard, there is no fear of the unknown. If my wife crosses any of my lines, I will divorce her. That simple. I love her dearly, but I am not so attached and dependent on her that I would need to compromise myself.


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## heartsbeating

I wrote in the other thread that Batman's typical night out with friends is for burgers and to a comedy lounge. He's not really into going to bars, unless there's a cool band playing (and then I'd be with him if that was the case) and if they stock select whisky, gin, or stout, although he doesn't drink often and rarely gets a buzz on, as he prefers to be aware of his surroundings. I dig that he goes out to comedy. It's something we enjoy together too.


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## ConanHub

samyeagar said:


> Here's the deal. I find what they are doing entirely distasteful. I also see the very obvious danger. That said, I am at peace with it because I know what my boundaries are, and so does my wife. I know what my course of action is, so in that regard, there is no fear of the unknown. If my wife crosses any of my lines, I will divorce her. That simple. I love her dearly, but I am not so attached and dependent on her that I would need to compromise myself.


I guess I can't even fathom having boundaries that even allow a spouse to go to something like this.

What does your future son in law think about your daughter doing this?

What is your daughter thinking?

Is she a wild girl? He is going golfing while she gets naked beefcake and booze in a private setting?!???!?

I can't really suspend disbelief enough to think this isn't disastrous or a cuckold lifestyle choice on the part of the future son in law.


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## Faithful Wife

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Maybe they turned their eyes back towards what is in the bank account and were suddenly fine with it.


Hmm...well thinking back....

I know one of the wives was rumored to have been sleeping with one of the other married guys in the group.

And one of the wives was some kind of inheritance multi millionaire, to where she had to have a prenup against her husband. His meager (sarcasm) salary was apparently nothing compared to her wealth. I know this couple eventually split, but I don't know why.

The other wives I did not know enough about them to comment.

But I'm just saying they didn't seem like women who were just sitting home counting their husbands' dollars. 

Whatever their reasons were for allowing such behavior, I'm guessing they were not innocent children. Not saying they deserved what went down at those parties either though.


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## SadSamIAm

I think the people involved are more important than the activity or whether they are men or women.

I go on BNO trips a couple of times a year. Typically 4 or 8 of us. We are all middle aged married men. We go on a golf trip. We play golf, go out for supper and have a few drinks at night. I started doing this about 10 years ago. All we do, is hang out together.

Some of these guys have been doing this for 30 years. Different people coming on the trips each year. Stories of certain guys being there that always cheat on their wives picking up a waitress or the girl from the pro shop.

Both are BNO trips with a bunch of guys going golfing. The only difference is the people. Some guys will look for trouble and find it. Others are just wanting to get away and have bro time.


My wife would agree. She goes on GNO trips. Most of her friends are social, but responsible to their marriage. She has a couple of friends that tend to drink too much. A couple that flirt too much. The amount of trouble that they may get into is directly related to the makeup of the friends that are on the trip.


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## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> I guess I can't even fathom having boundaries that even allow a spouse to go to something like this.
> 
> What does your future son in law think about your daughter doing this?
> 
> What is your daughter thinking?
> 
> Is she a wild girl? He is going golfing while she gets naked beefcake and booze in a private setting?!???!?
> 
> I can't really suspend disbelief enough to think this isn't disastrous or a cuckold lifestyle choice on the part of the future son in law.


Conan, what is up? You were young. You partied like a rock star. What's with the incredulous tone? You were THERE too at one time (I don't mean the batchelor party, I mean your LIFE when you were younger). People like to be sexy with each other. Remember?


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## CraigBesuden

What happens at the bachelorette party stays at the bachelorette party. No phones/cameras from the time the male strippers arrive until they leave the next morning.


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## TheDudeLebowski

I'm wracking my brains trying to remember if I've ever done a boys night out. Every time I've gone out it's with co-workers for someone's birthday or to watch a Mavs game at the bar. But its usually one or two girls from work that come, or one or two of the girlfriends or wives of my male co-workers come. We've ended up at strip clubs a time or 3 but theres still some girls in our group. I don't go out much, I'm too much of a home body. What I need isn't social settings with friends to escape, I need to escape from everyone.

In the summer my wife is off work, kids are out of school. Always on one of my days off for the week, she gets the kids out of the house so I can have my alone time she knows I need and crave. When we first started dating back at 16 years old I told her my aspirations was to be a hermit off in the woods somewhere. She always thought I was joking, but now she calls me her hermit and has for about a decade. I do go out a few times a year with friends, but I would much prefer to go backpacking alone somewhere mid week during the school year. Late fall, winter, and early spring camping. Its almost no people out there. I'm glad when people get out and enjoy the outdoors, but it's like, just go do it over there somewhere else away from me. Haha! I hate seeing people on trail with me. Kind of selfish I know. "This is MY wilderness area over the next 5 days. Everyone else go away!" 

I read trip stories of people who camp near someone else and they get to know one another and hang out at the fire together and stuff. Count me out of any of that. I'm way standoffish out there. 

Boy im rambling. BNO no issues here, but I'll take a solo night over a BNO or social gatherings 99 times out of 100.


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## Mr. Nail

Well that levels it out a bit. Personally, I fell out with my Guys group. Now I do SNO (Solo night out) I still get in trouble. This year I did Theatre alone, Movies alone , Dining alone, Kayaking alone, camping alone, and last night back country 4WD Alone. I've avoided Shooting alone, woodworking alone, and vacation alone.


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## TheDudeLebowski

Faithful Wife said:


> Hmm...well thinking back....
> 
> I know one of the wives was rumored to have been sleeping with one of the other married guys in the group.
> 
> And one of the wives was some kind of inheritance multi millionaire, to where she had to have a prenup against her husband. His meager (sarcasm) salary was apparently nothing compared to her wealth. I know this couple eventually split, but I don't know why.
> 
> The other wives I did not know enough about them to comment.
> 
> But I'm just saying they didn't seem like women who were just sitting home counting their husbands' dollars.
> 
> Whatever their reasons were for allowing such behavior, I'm guessing they were not innocent children. Not saying they deserved what went down at those parties either though.


I think there's a percentage of women who certainly allow their husband's to walk all over them because the $$$ in the bank. I also know some guys who allow their wives to walk all over them because they are frankly too pretty for those men and the men know they will never get a girl so pretty again type thing. They both kind of attach their identity to what the other person brings to the table more so than having their own identity. Pretty sad. 

I wonder now that women are making more and more money if gold digging men will start to be more and more of a thing. Men get pissy at gold diggers, but I mean, there wasn't a bunch of wealthy women for a long ass time. If that playing field were equal throughout history, I wonder how many more gold digging men there would be out there you know? Product of your environment type thing.


----------



## JennSpice291

I'm all for it! I agree with some other comments here, but as long as BNO is wholesome, I think it actually is good for guys. As the saying goes, "good out time, makes for good in time".


----------



## samyeagar

ConanHub said:


> I guess I can't even fathom having boundaries that even allow a spouse to go to something like this.
> 
> What does your future son in law think about your daughter doing this?
> 
> What is your daughter thinking?
> 
> Is she a wild girl? He is going golfing while she gets naked beefcake and booze in a private setting?!???!?
> 
> I can't really suspend disbelief enough to think this isn't disastrous or a cuckold lifestyle choice on the part of the future son in law.


With regards to my daughter and future son in law, from my own observations, I am not so sure this scenario is all that uncommon among younger people in todays hypersexualized, independent, you go girl, girls will be girls, environment where words such as abusive and controlling are thrown around as shaming words. Combine that with the general naivete of youth, and you get what you get.

With regards to my wife and I, while it is not my cup of tea, I can see where fun could be had by some on such a trip, however it is a very risky situation. I am not her keeper. My wife is an adult who makes her own decisions. She knows my boundaries, and knows I will not hesitate to end our relationship if they are crossed. Most likely, I think my wife is going to end up herding cats.


----------



## BruceBanner

Faithful Wife said:


> A couple of years ago, we went on a family vacay to the beach with my adult kids. My son was bummed because going with us meant he was going to miss a friends batchelor party. It was apparently a party bus full of young dudes hitting up all the strip clubs and a couple of stripper friends were already on the bus, too. They knew they would pick up more along the way, girls getting off work at the club might hop on the bus to party.
> 
> This group of friends doesn’t normally do a whole party bus thing so it was apparently epic.
> 
> However the strippers are no big deal. We are strip city here and strippers are just “women”. These guys have known, dated and hung out with women in this business for years. It’s not some shocking situation for them to hang out with sex workers.
> 
> But the combination on that night was apparently so epic that my son never hears the end of “oh man why didn’t you goooooo that night, it was SO bad ass!”
> 
> He teases me now and then about yeah I’m such a good son that I missed out on the party of the century just to hang out with my family at the beach....then implies I owe him something big to pay him back. I just laugh. This kid has partied plenty, he’s not missing out on anything. He has had a better life in some ways than any of those other boys on that bus. He knows it, too.
> 
> The last batchelorette party I went to, the bride was actually a bad girl. Meaning she was one in general before this day ever happened. But she met this guy and truly loved him and had been totally faithful. She had no intention of being weird or bad or gross that night.
> 
> It turned out all very sweet. Some of the girls tried to make her do dumb things like find a hot guy and get a selfie while grabbing his chest or something. She refused to do it and grabbed one of her female friends chest (with consent) for the selfie and said that would have to do. The others got a little skanky with boys on the dance floor but she just danced with me (I was married and was totally locked down but had fun watching the antics of the other girls).
> 
> This girl would have been my one friend I would have assumed would have had the raunchiest b party ever, but she was just a changed person by then. She really lost any desire to be all up on another man.
> 
> Their marriage did not last sadly. But she’s still a much less bad girl ever since.


Doesn't sound like a good group of "friends" to keep around. They sound reckless, unaware, and negligent towards the relationship she had. Wouldn't be surprised if her friends had a hand in the death of her marriage. Would be somewhat typical actually.


----------



## Faithful Wife

BruceBanner said:


> Doesn't sound like a good group of "friends" to keep around. They sound reckless, unaware, and negligent towards the relationship she had. Wouldn't be surprised if her friends had a hand in the death of her marriage. Would be somewhat typical actually.


Oh I agree, this was a group of total *****s, no question.

They were "her" friends. I did not know them closely. I was an old friend of hers for over a decade when she made these new friends. I am an open minded and fun person so they didn't bother me. I went out with them a few times besides the b party. They had no influence on me and never would so it was no big deal for me to go out with them.

As for the demise of their marriage...no, it wasn't really like that. It was much more sad and personal than something like that. But that group of friends were a problem in her life in general. I think she has split with most of those friends at this point, but that was a long time ago and friends do tend to come and go. Especially the extremely *****ish ones.


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Conan, what is up? You were young. You partied like a rock star. What's with the incredulous tone? You were THERE too at one time (I don't mean the batchelor party, I mean your LIFE when you were younger). People like to be sexy with each other. Remember?


That's just it. I absolutely know. I did it and have the T-shirt and the scars to prove it.

I was also not engaged, married or even in a committed relationship with anyone..

That is the part I'm wigging out about. I can't wrap my head around the mental gymnastics these guys have done to be casual about golfing for the men and private strippers for the drunk women. I would still think it was disastrous if both sides were partaking but at least there would be some uniformity to the wildness going on.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> That's just it. I absolutely know. I did it and have the T-shirt and the scars to prove it.
> 
> *I was also not engaged, married or even in a committed relationship with anyone..*
> 
> That is the part I'm wigging out about. I can't wrap my head around the mental gymnastics these guys have done to be casual about golfing for the men and private strippers for the drunk women. I would still think it was disastrous if both sides were partaking but at least there would be some uniformity to the wildness going on.


I think a lot of women are pretty chill about men seeing strippers. And a lot of men are chill about women seeing strippers. It just ain't that big of a deal. But of course the potential for cheating goes way up at these things. I don't disagree there. But a bit of that kind of fun does not always lead to cheating.

Regarding the bolded, didn't you tell us that you used to bang married women? So even if you weren't cheating on anyone, you were still part of the same behavior back then. I don't really give you a pass on that one. :laugh:


----------



## ConanHub

samyeagar said:


> With regards to my daughter and future son in law, from my own observations, I am not so sure this scenario is all that uncommon among younger people in todays hypersexualized, independent, you go girl, girls will be girls, environment where words such as abusive and controlling are thrown around as shaming words. Combine that with the general naivete of youth, and you get what you get.


This strikes me as extremely wimpy and spineless.

It also, unfortunately, gets my mind in the belief zone. I have seen the trend you are mentioning.

Be interesting to see how she would feel if she was having a clean fun bachelorette party while her fiance had private condo with flowing alcohol and naked flesh.

I predict a very unbalanced and probably unstable marriage with little chance of longevity unless some radical changes in attitudes and perspectives takes place.

Ugh....


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I think a lot of women are pretty chill about men seeing strippers. And a lot of men are chill about women seeing strippers. It just ain't that big of a deal. But of course the potential for cheating goes way up at these things. I don't disagree there. But a bit of that kind of fun does not always lead to cheating.
> 
> Regarding the bolded, didn't you tell us that you used to bang married women? So even if you weren't cheating on anyone, you were still part of the same behavior back then. I don't really give you a pass on that one. :laugh:


That was probably a rumour started by an imp that is plaguing TAM.

I never knowingly had any physical intimacy with a taken woman. They were as taboo as a sister to me.

I had a night with a gal that had a boyfriend but I didn't find that out until the next day when he woke us up. Awkward.....

I had a lady take me to her home once where we started fooling around until she mentioned a husband. At that point I suggested a shower. She got naked and started showering and I left.

Those were the only times I am aware of that I crossed that line unknowingly and I corrected the situation as soon as possible. I never gave either of those ladies the time of day afterwards.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> That was probably a rumour started by an imp that is plaguing TAM.
> 
> I never knowingly had any physical intimacy with a taken woman. They were as taboo as a sister to me.
> 
> I had a night with a gal that had a boyfriend but I didn't find that out until the next day when he woke us up. Awkward.....
> 
> I had a lady take me to her home once where we started fooling around until she mentioned a husband. At that point I suggested a shower. She got naked and started showering and I left.
> 
> Those were the only times I am aware of that I crossed that line unknowingly and I corrected the situation as soon as possible. I never gave either of those ladies the time of day afterwards.


Okee doke, so you were the man ***** with the heart of gold. I can't explain to you why your morals are different than others. But I am saying that some people act crazy and sexual/sexy and don't actually cheat on each other. As a spouse, I think it is up to us what we can or can't handle.

Sam's future son in law has his reasons for trusting in this case. Not sure what they are but they are his.


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Okee doke, so you were the man ***** with the heart of gold. I can't explain to you why your morals are different than others. But I am saying that some people act crazy and sexual/sexy and don't actually cheat on each other. As a spouse, I think it is up to us what we can or can't handle.
> 
> Sam's future son in law has his reasons for trusting in this case. Not sure what they are but they are his.


His last post explained what was going on.

If both sides were being wild, I would still think UGH! but there at least would be uniformity and equity between all the couples involved.

What is happening is something akin to reverse **** shaming.

The women get to be really wild while bullying the men into it for fear of being called abusive or controlling.

Not a good start but it is Sam's future son's choice for sure.


----------



## samyeagar

ConanHub said:


> *This strikes me as extremely wimpy and spineless.*
> 
> It also, unfortunately, gets my mind in the belief zone. I have seen the trend you are mentioning.
> 
> Be interesting to see how she would feel if she was having a clean fun bachelorette party while her fiance had private condo with flowing alcohol and naked flesh.
> 
> I predict a very unbalanced and probably unstable marriage with little chance of longevity unless some radical changes in attitudes and perspectives takes place.
> 
> Ugh....


We would know if that is the case depending on how he would react should bad choices be made.

A few years ago, a coworker of mine was getting married, and his fiance was having a week long Vegas destination bachelorette party as well as a Daytona beach one. They were in the same mid twenties age group. He was having one local camping trip bachelor party. I think it was on day 3 of the Vegas trip that he saw the inappropriate instagram post with the stripper standing behind the fully clothed standing bride to be with his hands over her boobs, and his **** sticking out between her legs, and he very publicly called off the wedding. All the women there swore up and down that "nothing happened" but he stuck to his guns, and wasn't shamed back into the wedding.


----------



## ConanHub

samyeagar said:


> We would know if that is the case depending on how he would react should bad choices be made.
> 
> A few years ago, a coworker of mine was getting married, and his fiance was having a week long Vegas destination bachelorette party as well as a Daytona beach one. They were in the same mid twenties age group. He was having one local camping trip bachelor party. I think it was on day 3 of the Vegas trip that he saw the inappropriate instagram post with the stripper standing behind the fully clothed standing bride to be with his hands over her boobs, and his **** sticking out between her legs, and he very publicly called off the wedding. All the women there swore up and down that "nothing happened" but he stuck to his guns, and wasn't shamed back into the wedding.


To each their own but I think it is a bad decision for not single women to go to something like this in the first place and the wimpy comment comes from being afraid of terms like "abuser" and "controlling" being tossed at him so she can behave this way.

Guess I'm not "evolved" enough for this one.:smile2:


----------



## CraigBesuden

samyeagar said:


> I think it was on day 3 of the Vegas trip that he saw the inappropriate instagram post with the stripper standing behind the fully clothed standing bride to be with his hands over her boobs, and his **** sticking out between her legs, and he very publicly called off the wedding. All the women there swore up and down that "nothing happened" but he stuck to his guns, and wasn't shamed back into the wedding.


A good maid of honor will collect all phones/cameras at the door. Nobody gets them back until the strippers are gone.

If he’s going to call off the wedding over that, they shouldn’t have any strippers present.


----------



## Faithful Wife

samyeagar said:


> We would know if that is the case depending on how he would react should bad choices be made.
> 
> A few years ago, a coworker of mine was getting married, and his fiance was having a week long Vegas destination bachelorette party as well as a Daytona beach one. They were in the same mid twenties age group. He was having one local camping trip bachelor party. I think it was on day 3 of the Vegas trip that he saw the inappropriate instagram post with the stripper standing behind the fully clothed standing bride to be with his hands over her boobs, and his **** sticking out between her legs, and he very publicly called off the wedding. All the women there swore up and down that "nothing happened" but he stuck to his guns, and wasn't shamed back into the wedding.


Like I said in the other thread, it’s a different playing field sometimes because you CAN touch the male strippers. Whereas no one is allowed to touch the female ones, even if she can touch you it’s still a different thing to be able to touch her (I understand though that there are always ways to break the rules). 

So what inevitably happens is all the women do touch the guys (if they hired a guy for this reason or went to a club they know is naughty like this). The guys are hired for their huge dongs and they definitely touch you with it even if you don’t touch them. They will put you upside down on their lap and do a mock 69 thing. They will slap your face or boobs with their nightstick. They will put their face on your crotch. Now these things typically happen fully clothed but I mean, one tiny flimsy piece of fabric underwear doesn’t really separate you that much.

Personally I have no interest in seeing a rando’s huge ****. It’s like eh, there are no less than five hundred billion pictures of huge peens to look at and then I don’t have to get weirded out by being close to a rando one. Seeing one on a man you’re actually with is a lovely treat. But some women aren’t ever going to actually see one close up so they are more than happy to rent one for a few hours.

I’m single so if I had a friend who was insisting I join them at one of these places, I would go. And I would be the friend who is clinging to the wall (don’t touch me rando) but who is taking all the pictures and getting a good view from the side. If I wasn’t single I would just say no.

I’m giving these field reports for the benefit of people who honestly don’t know what goes on at these places.


----------



## Middle of Everything

samyeagar said:


> We would know if that is the case depending on how he would react should bad choices be made.
> 
> A few years ago, a coworker of mine was getting married, and his fiance was having a week long Vegas destination bachelorette party as well as a Daytona beach one. They were in the same mid twenties age group. He was having one local camping trip bachelor party. I think it was on day 3 of the Vegas trip that he saw the inappropriate instagram post with the stripper standing behind the fully clothed standing bride to be with his hands over her boobs, and his **** sticking out between her legs, and he very publicly called off the wedding. All the women there swore up and down that "nothing happened" but he stuck to his guns, and wasn't shamed back into the wedding.


A few thoughts.

1) A [email protected]#$ing week long Vegas party AND a Daytona Beach one? That alone and Im calling off the wedding. "B!tch you have the financial discipline of a 5 year old. I cant spend the rest of my apparently would be broke -a$$ life with you".
2) Distasteful for sure. But damn gotta give a shout out to the hog that stripper was packing. Standing BEHIND the woman with his unit between her legs and still saw plenty of it? 
3) People like this make me feel like the old get my lawn guy. Destination bachelor/bacherlorette parties? Destination weddings? Gender reveal parties and videos? Graduation parties for grade school "graduation"? Damn kids these days. :wink2:


----------



## personofinterest

CraigBesuden said:


> A good maid of honor will collect all phones/cameras at the door. Nobody gets them back until the strippers are gone.
> 
> If he’s going to call off the wedding over that, they shouldn’t have any strippers present.


People willing to enable keeping bad behavior a secret are not in any way good. How disgusting.


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> I’m giving these field reports for the benefit of people who honestly don’t know what goes on at these places.


That jives with what I know. Thanks for the illumination.

Even the more tame male review touring shows have a lot of touching and women, who want the attention, are encouraged to dress flashy to get singled out for some sexy attention.

We are talking a private condo setting here.


----------



## samyeagar

CraigBesuden said:


> A good maid of honor will collect all phones/cameras at the door. Nobody gets them back until the strippers are gone.
> 
> If he’s going to call off the wedding over that, they shouldn’t have any strippers present.


I don't think it even crossed their minds that he would call off the wedding over something like this, but from the grooms point of view, this is one of those things that most reasonable people wouldn't even have to point out is completely unacceptable. And there you go.


----------



## samyeagar

Faithful Wife said:


> Like I said in the other thread, it’s a different playing field sometimes because you CAN touch the male strippers. Whereas no one is allowed to touch the female ones, even if she can touch you it’s still a different thing to be able to touch her (I understand though that there are always ways to break the rules).
> 
> So what inevitably happens is all the women do touch the guys (if they hired a guy for this reason or went to a club they know is naughty like this). The guys are hired for their huge dongs and they definitely touch you with it even if you don’t touch them. They will put you upside down on their lap and do a mock 69 thing. They will slap your face or boobs with their nightstick. They will put their face on your crotch. Now these things typically happen fully clothed but I mean, one tiny flimsy piece of fabric underwear doesn’t really separate you that much.
> 
> Personally I have no interest in seeing a rando’s huge ****. It’s like eh, there are no less than five hundred billion pictures of huge peens to look at and then I don’t have to get weirded out by being close to a rando one. Seeing one on a man you’re actually with is a lovely treat. But some women aren’t ever going to actually see one close up so they are more than happy to rent one for a few hours.
> 
> I’m single so if I had a friend who was insisting I join them at one of these places, I would go. And I would be the friend who is clinging to the wall (don’t touch me rando) but who is taking all the pictures and getting a good view from the side. If I wasn’t single I would just say no.
> 
> I’m giving these field reports for the benefit of people who honestly don’t know what goes on at these places.


Very different for sure, and to a certain extent different levels of acceptability.

I showed my wife the picture, and told her the guy called off the wedding. My wife had a very different take on it than I did. She agreed that it was inappropriate and over the top, but thought it was a bit of an over reaction to call off the wedding. I let her know that I would have done the same damn thing he did.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> We are talking a private condo setting here.


Yes. Some of the clubs (the nasty ones) have just as much going on as in a private condo. They have private rooms and basically the stripper makes his own rules.


----------



## Middle of Everything

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes. Some of the clubs (the nasty ones) have just as much going on as in a private condo. They have private rooms and basically the stripper makes his own rules.


Sounds like Tijuana strip clubs. Went to one when I was 20 or so. NASTY.
Nasty place, nasty women, Corona wasnt even that cold. But $40 could take you to a back room with one of the strippers/hookers apparently too.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Middle of Everything said:


> Sounds like Tijuana strip clubs. Went to one when I was 20 or so. NASTY.
> Nasty place, nasty women, Corona wasnt even that cold. But $40 could take you to a back room with one of the strippers/hookers apparently too.


Oh no, I mean right here in the good ol' USA. Actually the ones in the south are the worst. We have one around where I live in the NW (or there used to be one, I haven't checked to see if it is still in operation) which was just like what I have described above. Even if the one here is gone, I know there are some in Seattle. 

I can't say these guys are as seemingly "gross" as a back road Tijuana stripper would be. It takes quite a specimen for women to shell out money to see a man. Not just the body but the dong, you know. And from what I have observed, they are not outwardly unhygienic or anything like that. Most were what lots of women would say is hot.


----------



## Young at Heart

aine said:


> Ladies, seeing the serious discussion on another thread about GNO, though I would start one on your views on BNOs. Do they bother you, do you approve, do you think there are double standards when it comes to BNO -v- GNO?


I remember a mid December business conference in Chicago and entering an elevator full of women. I asked if there was room. One of the "farmer's wifes" said that yes, there was room and that they wouldn't bite, unless I asked them to!. That broke the ice. I told them I was headed out to dinner and they asked if I would like to join them. There were six of them and they all came from the same farm town each year to do Christmas shopping and get a little wild. They told me that they were all married with the exception of one and I should be very nice to her.

I thanked them for their invitation, but made an excuse to go separately to dinner.

The point of the story is that any girls night or guys night out is probably a function of the morals of those going out and the people they run into. It is so situational, that it probably can't be predicted. 

Would I do a boy's night out? It depends. Going with guy friends to a sporting event seems fairly tame. Going with a bunch of guys to strip club that serves alcohol.....NOPE that is asking for trouble. 

So it all depends on the location and the people.


----------



## CraigBesuden

We do a “guys night out” with our friends and neighbors, including some neighbors who moved away. We hit a bowling alley and a Tiltled Kilt, or maybe a Jillians or Dave & Busters or bars, play some games and BS. It’s not about hitting on chicks. It’s been many months but it’s a fun time.

Personally, I find strip clubs to be nasty and expensive. But I love breastaurants like Tilted Kilt, Twin Peaks, Bone Daddies, etc. Especially sitting at the bar and watching them bend over to get a scoop of ice.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

CraigBesuden said:


> We do a “guys night out” with our friends and neighbors, including some neighbors who moved away. We hit a bowling alley and a Tiltled Kilt, or maybe a Jillians or Dave & Busters or bars, play some games and BS. It’s not about hitting on chicks. It’s been many months but it’s a fun time.
> 
> Personally, I find strip clubs to be nasty and expensive. But I love breastaurants like Tilted Kilt, Twin Peaks, Bone Daddies, etc. Especially sitting at the bar and watching them bend over to get a scoop of ice.


Ah, a fellow Texan. We must stick together in this strange place called TAM. Arb is in aggie land. I take it you're in DFW? Or Austin? Ever been To Tight Ends? Thats the one to go to!


----------



## CraigBesuden

I’m in the NE, actually. I love DFW, Austin and San Antonio, though. Got my bachelors from Wayland Baptist. Never been to Bone Daddys but I know about it (and had their margarita mix).


----------



## Cletus

Mr. Nail said:


> Well that levels it out a bit. Personally, I fell out with my Guys group. Now I do SNO (Solo night out) I still get in trouble. This year I did Theatre alone, Movies alone , Dining alone, Kayaking alone, camping alone, and last night back country 4WD Alone. I've avoided Shooting alone, woodworking alone, and vacation alone.


If you get stuck far enough in the back country 4WD alone, you'll get to check the last three off your list too.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

CraigBesuden said:


> I’m in the NE, actually. I love DFW, Austin and San Antonio, though. Got my bachelors from Wayland Baptist. Never been to Bone Daddys but I know about it (and had their margarita mix).


Of all of the ones you listed, to me Twin Peaks has the best food. I like the pulled pork sandwich a lot. But yeah, the Bone Daddy's comment got me. It's pretty good too. Though if I want BBQ I go to serious BBQ places, award winning BBQ places. Bone Daddy's is good food, but its not serious BBQ.


----------



## 269370

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I think there's a percentage of women who certainly allow their husband's to walk all over them because the $$$ in the bank. I also know some guys who allow their wives to walk all over them because they are frankly too pretty for those men and the men know they will never get a girl so pretty again type thing. They both kind of attach their identity to what the other person brings to the table more so than having their own identity. Pretty sad.
> 
> 
> 
> I wonder now that women are making more and more money if gold digging men will start to be more and more of a thing. Men get pissy at gold diggers, but I mean, there wasn't a bunch of wealthy women for a long ass time. If that playing field were equal throughout history, I wonder how many more gold digging men there would be out there you know? Product of your environment type thing.




I dunno...I hope this will change but the only wealthy (multi-million) women I meet are either that wealthy because of divorce or because they are widowed.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Okee doke, so you were the man ***** with the heart of gold.


FW, I am pretty blunt about my past and I even joke about it sometimes but I share what I have learned, especially when I learned things that seem to contradict traditionally held "wisdom" about women and sex.

I am not proud of my past at all however and I don't want the folks of TAM to believe anything else.

I probably was a man ***** but it hurts to be called that.

I was a very damaged young man that gave in to the advances of aggressive women for the most part.

Just a FYI.:smile2:


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Okee doke, so you were the man ***** with the heart of gold.
> 
> 
> 
> FW, I am pretty blunt about my past and I even joke about it sometimes but I share what I have learned, especially when I learned things that seem to contradict traditionally held "wisdom" about women and sex.
> 
> I am not proud of my past at all however and I don't want the folks of TAM to believe anything else.
> 
> I probably was a man ***** but it hurts to be called that.
> 
> I was a very damaged young man that gave in to the advances of aggressive women for the most part.
> 
> Just a FYI.<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile.png" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" ></a>
Click to expand...

Oh trust me, I understand. 

I just also understand that some of the young men and women I know were also damaged and not making good choices at some points in their lives. Others would call them *****s and I call them my friends.


----------



## wild jade

samyeagar said:


> In the case of my daughters up coming wedding, her bachelorette party is consisting of a several day destination gathering at a rented condo, with the intent of involving strange men, being drunk the whole time, wineries, swim up bars, strippers at the condo. The grooms bachelor party is an overnight being held locally with the day being golfing, and then fishing, drinking and camping.
> 
> In my experience, girls nights out are far more likely to be mixed sex without partners than boys nights out.


My experience is the exact opposite of this. The bachelor party involves strip clubs, girls jumping out of cakes and belly shots, and the bachelorette party involves a few glasses of wine in the living room, with lots of talk about sex, but not a man within sight.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

I can offer, ime, the type and venue of bachelor parties depends a lot on the ages of the participants.


----------



## 2&out

Boy... I am really lost on the bachelor and bachelorette party stuff/discussions. I swear it seems I do and have lived in a different world than what seems like the majority of TAM. I thought the whole point of them was the last blowout as a single person because "can't behave that way married". Why would any of what happened or done be shared or known by the other person ??

It's nice almost all here is so moral and proper. To add some balance.... - I banged one of the strippers and woke up naked in an ex-girlfriends bed (yes - don't know or remember how I got/ended up there) seriously hurting. I have no idea what wife to be did. In marriage I never cheated on my wife and don't think she cheated on me - but we did divorce 8 years later so maybe that is proof I done wrong. LOL - whatever.


...And now the Beastie Boys are in my brain. "You have to FIGHT, for your RIGHT, to PARRRTAY !!


----------



## samyeagar

2&out said:


> Boy... I am really lost on the bachelor and bachelorette party stuff/discussions. I swear it seems I do and have lived in a different world than what seems like the majority of TAM. I thought the whole point of them was the last blowout as a single person because "can't behave that way married". Why would any of what happened or done be shared or known by the other person ??
> 
> It's nice almost all here is so moral and proper. To add some balance.... - I banged one of the strippers and woke up naked in an ex-girlfriends bed (yes - don't know or remember how I got/ended up there) seriously hurting. I have no idea what wife to be did. In marriage I never cheated on my wife and don't think she cheated on me - but we did divorce 8 years later so maybe that is proof I done wrong. LOL - whatever.
> 
> 
> ...And now the Beastie Boys are in my brain. "You have to FIGHT, for your RIGHT, to PARRRTAY !!


Yeah, and this is one of those things I just can't wrap my mind around. The whole "last fling before the ring" mindset. Yes, the vows make it "official", but didn't the commitment to sexual exclusivity come WAAAAY before then? I mean, when people talk about "exclusive" relationships, they aren't talking about the finances. They are talking about sex, and I would imagine that many, if not most people would take issue with their partner banging someone else any other time before the wedding, so this idea some people have about how it is OK if it is actually carefully planned out...utterly baffling.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

samyeagar said:


> Yeah, and this is one of those things I just can't wrap my mind around. The whole "last fling before the ring" mindset. Yes, the vows make it "official", but didn't the commitment to sexual exclusivity come WAAAAY before then? I mean, when people talk about "exclusive" relationships, they aren't talking about the finances. They are talking about sex, and I would imagine that many, if not most people would take issue with their partner banging someone else any other time before the wedding, so this idea some people have about how it is OK if it is actually carefully planned out...utterly baffling.


Nobody would think its OK of their partner, just themselves.


----------



## aine

samyeagar said:


> Yeah, and this is one of those things I just can't wrap my mind around. The whole "last fling before the ring" mindset. Yes, the vows make it "official", but didn't the commitment to sexual exclusivity come WAAAAY before then? I mean, when people talk about "exclusive" relationships, they aren't talking about the finances. They are talking about sex, and I would imagine that many, if not most people would take issue with their partner banging someone else any other time before the wedding, so this idea some people have about how it is OK if it is actually carefully planned out...utterly baffling.


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

It's not like a ceremony and a piece of paper really changes the relationship dynamic. If you can bang someone a few days before the wedding, you will have no qualms doing so after the wedding. Amazing :scratchhead:


----------



## SadSamIAm

CraigBesuden said:


> We do a “guys night out” with our friends and neighbors, including some neighbors who moved away. We hit a bowling alley and a Tiltled Kilt, or maybe a Jillians or Dave & Busters or bars, play some games and BS. It’s not about hitting on chicks. It’s been many months but it’s a fun time.
> 
> Personally, I find strip clubs to be nasty and expensive. But I love breastaurants like Tilted Kilt, Twin Peaks, Bone Daddies, etc. Especially sitting at the bar and watching them bend over to get a scoop of ice.


Twin Peaks in Scottsdale Arizona, nice views!


----------



## 2&out

"Nobody would think its OK of their partner, just themselves." This is not correct. I just assumed she did the same. And that is fine. 

My vantage point I think is different. I'll offend and say my playground is more the Hollywood style than the wholesome "good boy/girl" type. Finding a quality woman is hard but finding a woman is hardly a challenge. I don't and have never had to look - there have always been plenty around. The online dating comments about lack of good looking together men was particularly interesting to me. I've never done online dating because the couple 3 times I looked at it considering it, when I saw the women profiles I was like yea - there are maybe 2 here I have any interest in. No reason to waste my time on this.

Just because someone has a large history and playlist does not mean they can't be committed, trustworthy, and faithful. Maybe if someone doesn't have that many opportunities they may be tempted to stray but if you know you can stray any time you want there is no need to.


























|


----------



## BarbedFenceRider

BNO....Okay as long as there is NO women interacting with us. And YES! The wives always know what happens. But for the most part, I scuba dive, go hunting or a fishing/camping trip with da boyz! So really, no probs with jealousy or otherwise....


----------



## ConanHub

LoL! I took my computer geek friend out bar hopping one evening because he never had before.

Everyone thought we were a gay couple!:banghead::grin2:


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> LoL! I took my computer geek friend out bar hopping one evening because he never had before.
> 
> Everyone thought we were a gay couple!:banghead::grin2:


Is he a white boy?

White boys are so sexy...
Legs so long and lean...
Love those sprayed-on trousers...
Love the love machine! :grin2:


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Is he a white boy?
> 
> White boys are so sexy...
> Legs so long and lean...
> Love those sprayed-on trousers...
> Love the love machine! :grin2:


Why yes he was a lean, white love machine.:laugh:


----------



## Faithful Wife

ConanHub said:


> Why yes he was a lean, white love machine.:laugh:


Love to run my fingers....and toes through all their curls. :wink2:


----------



## Taxman

I do not do BNO's, if there is a game, it usually means everyone over to my man-cave. I do not go to bars. I have spent too many hours in the back of a bar, smelling stale beer and doing the books. I participated in several BNO's when my BF had his first marriage fall apart. Our time out was just getting a steak, and sitting in an emptying restaurant listening to him rant about his ex (a foul person who sat on her arse while he did the 9-5, then came home, cooked, cleaned and looked after the kids while her day was spent keeping up with the soaps, until that certain guy moved across the hall, then...) We do have a fairly full social calendar, but, evenings out at a restaurant or bar til closing time are pretty much not on our radar.


----------



## personofinterest

Faithful Wife said:


> Love to run my fingers....and toes through all their curls. :wink2:


Nell, is that you?

I heard the moon is in the 7th house right now.....


----------



## Faithful Wife

personofinterest said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Love to run my fingers....and toes through all their curls. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_wink.png" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> Nell, is that you?
> 
> I heard the moon is in the 7th house right now.....
Click to expand...

Harmony and understanding 

Sympathy and trust abounding 

No more falsehoods or derision 

Golden living dreams of visions

Mystic crystal revelation 

and the mind’s true liberation....


----------



## Young at Heart

aine said:


> :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:
> 
> It's not like a ceremony and a piece of paper really changes the relationship dynamic.....


Actually for some of us it does change the dynamic. When you stand up in front of friends and family and give vows that is serious stuff. When you participate in a sacramental marriage it is both a religious and legal ceremony. 

In reference to having sex with someone else, after the marriage it is both a sin and illegal to commit adultery. It is also breaking an ethical vow give before God, family and friends. Marriage is suppose to be a big deal.


----------



## ConanHub

Young at Heart said:


> Actually for some of us it does change the dynamic. When you stand up in front of friends and family and give vows that is serious stuff. When you participate in a sacramental marriage it is both a religious and legal ceremony.
> 
> In reference to having sex with someone else, after the marriage it is both a sin and illegal to commit adultery. It is also breaking an ethical vow give before God, family and friends. Marriage is suppose to be a big deal.


On that note, so is being engaged or betrothed in old speak. No fing around if you have an understanding with someone.

Bringing God into it, no fing around with anyone until your married to them anyway.


----------



## 2&out

*Maybe* when 2 grown adults are making the final commitment that is exactly what they are doing. And feel/trust each other that will be what they do going forward. 

IMHO the certificate and declaration before higher power and family does make a difference. It is a written document of commitment that when have should be honored. The clock/responsibility starts then.

A personal note. My second marriage I thought there was a possibility could become "open" - if I could deal with that - which I did and do not know - but decided would cross that bridge if/when. She could have anyone. No single and IMO many married would deny her if she wanted them. I am decent and have a body most would consider in the top 10% but I - who is pretty Alpha and confident - knew she could trump me with little effort. She is/was in everyones review a solid 9. We didn't make it as I couldn't/wouldn't honor her princess expectations. I don't think/know that she ever cheated on me. 

A stupid note to Lila. I am/have been hooked up with a very great very desirable lady for few yrs. I hope we stay together. She is way better in some ways than either of my wives and I am hugely attracted to her. Is she my 2nd wife ? No. There is 0 chance I'll catch something like her again. In looks, personality, fun factor. But I am still worthy of damn close - which maybe after 5 yrs after second time ended and trial and error (and frankly not looking much for), found. Now I'm a coward and marriage scares the **** out of me. 

Sorry for drift. Back to Boys Night Out ! Tomorrow


----------



## 2&out

And an offensive note. So Conan - is that what Jesus Son of God did ? Who's that Magdalene person ? Why do you think that is what God thinks/wants ? If he condemned his own son for it somehow I have missed when/where. Maybe I interpreted wrong that they were a "thing". God loves all. Or so some say. It's the sinners that condemn. Am I wrong on that ?


----------



## personofinterest

2&out said:


> And an offensive note. So Conan - is that what Jesus Son of God did ? Who's that Magdalene person ? Why do you think that is what God thinks/wants ? If he condemned his own son for it somehow I have missed when/where. Maybe I interpreted wrong that they were a "thing". God loves all. Or so some say. It's the sinners that condemn. Am I wrong on that ?


Jesus never married, and He certainly did not have a "thing" with Mary Magdalene.

Stop reading Dan Brown.


----------



## ConanHub

2&out said:


> And an offensive note. So Conan - is that what Jesus Son of God did ? Who's that Magdalene person ? Why do you think that is what God thinks/wants ? If he condemned his own son for it somehow I have missed when/where. Maybe I interpreted wrong that they were a "thing". God loves all. Or so some say. It's the sinners that condemn. Am I wrong on that ?


Sober up and post clearly. Be careful because I am a very studied student of history and theology. You come at me trying to point out my zipper is undone and you will be exposed as having no pants on.

Stay in your wheelhouse and you won't get embarrassed.

You aren't a Christian, theologian or been through any kind of seminary and I have.

You want to approach with questions and that will be fine.

You want to get combative in my zone and you will find being unarmed while starting a fight isn't beneficial for anyone.


----------



## 269370

personofinterest said:


> Jesus never married, and He certainly did not have a "thing" with Mary Magdalene.
> 
> Stop reading Dan Brown.




I thought Mary Magdalene was a dude?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> LoL! I took my computer geek friend out bar hopping one evening because he never had before.
> 
> 
> 
> Everyone thought we were a gay couple!:banghead::grin2:



It’s ok if you were...There comes a point when wimmins get a bit...samey after a while..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## aine

Young at Heart said:


> Actually for some of us it does change the dynamic. When you stand up in front of friends and family and give vows that is serious stuff. When you participate in a sacramental marriage it is both a religious and legal ceremony.
> 
> In reference to having sex with someone else, after the marriage it is both a sin and illegal to commit adultery. It is also breaking an ethical vow give before God, family and friends. Marriage is suppose to be a big deal.


That was not my point at all. If you are about to marry someone, surely you are about to make a serious commitment and already have an ethical, moral obligation already. You are in a committed relationship and If you feel so strongly that marriage is a sacrament then one shouldn't be screwing another before the wedding! Right?


----------



## wild jade

My husband rarely does BNO. He doesn't see the point. One time he was invited to a BNO poker game and tried to drag me along with him. LOL No way I'm going to hang out with a bunch of guys who are wishing I wasn't there, so I just told my husband to go ahead.

That said, we both go out and do our own thing quite a bit - but it's mixed company. Honestly, I don't really get the point of GNO anymore than he sees the point of BNO. Mixed company is better.


----------



## azimuth

ConanHub said:


> I was being watched out for and the gal did the smooching while I was so drunk that I couldn't even stand, much less give consent.
> 
> I still consider it a majorly bad choice to party with the single crowd and get falling down drunk.



It seems like it depends on how you define cheating, and in your relationship, a pass is given for extreme drunkenness and no penetration? If my partner kissed someone and slept in the same bed as that person, I would consider that a massive betrayal. But that's me and what works for you might not work for someone else. Whose bed were you in by the way? Also those friends did a terrible job watching if they allowed that to happen.


----------



## ConanHub

azimuth said:


> It seems like it depends on how you define cheating, and in your relationship, a pass is given for extreme drunkenness and no penetration? If my partner kissed someone and slept in the same bed as that person, I would consider that a massive betrayal. But that's me and what works for you might not work for someone else. Whose bed were you in by the way? Also those friends did a terrible job watching if they allowed that to happen.


This might clear it up.

I was so drunk that I couldn't navigate a stair case and was laying on them. I almost don't remember anything but I woke up, on the stairs with a woman kissing me and talking to me about whatever. I staggered away and collapsed in a room by myself. My friends were drunk as well but they were making sure I didn't end up more compromised.

The woman took advantage while I couldn't move or think properly and my buddies didn't know where I had gone. They just knew I wasn't in the apartment or any of the bedrooms.

Once inside, I was safe.


----------



## jorgegene

I have not done BNO since I got re-married 6 years ago.

and I'm glad too.

in my case, a big chunk of my bachelor years and into my relationship years were spent with a group of fairly rough biker buddies.
i was definitely the odd man out, because i'm a little guy and the only white collar guy in that group. 
nevertheless, for some reason they accepted me as one of them.
we (they) partied hard and often. we got crazy and sometimes did crazy stuff. when i didn't want to get wasted, they would get on my case. 
it was a blast, we had some of the best times in my life, but it was a bit much.

eventually, some of them started moving out of state one by one. a couple of them died. the group trickled down to only about five by the time
i was engaged. even then, my surviving buddies were getting old and riding and partying way less. 
then, one day i went to the usual place/time we usually met, and no one was there.

i decided that's it. no more. i more or less lost my buddies because like i say, most of them had moved and soon after ,two more died.
they were really my only circle of man friends. i still keep in touch with a few of them, but rarely. 

but i found a new life. i was married now, and wanted to spend all my time with my wife. after six years, i still feel that way.
the thing is, hanging out with your buddies always takes away time you could be spending with your wife, whether that's good or bad.

sometimes i look back with a smile and a laugh about all the great times, even a bit sad that those days are gone forever,
but i wouldn't want to go back there, and i have no current interest in finding new man friends.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

My personal thought is that it isnt healthy not to have your own guy friends. I ended up married to two different men (yes at different times! lol) that neither one had any guy friends, so spend NO time away from me, and it was NOT a good thing. I cant tell you how often I used to PRAY they would just get the hell out of the house for a few hours! Go bowl! Go fish! Go do any damn thing that ISNT HERE and go be a dude for while!


----------



## SadSamIAm

jorgegene said:


> I have not done BNO since I got re-married 6 years ago.
> 
> and I'm glad too.
> 
> in my case, a big chunk of my bachelor years and into my relationship years were spent with a group of fairly rough biker buddies.
> i was definitely the odd man out, because i'm a little guy and the only white collar guy in that group.
> nevertheless, for some reason they accepted me as one of them.
> we (they) partied hard and often. we got crazy and sometimes did crazy stuff. when i didn't want to get wasted, they would get on my case.
> it was a blast, we had some of the best times in my life, but it was a bit much.
> 
> eventually, some of them started moving out of state one by one. a couple of them died. the group trickled down to only about five by the time
> i was engaged. even then, my surviving buddies were getting old and riding and partying way less.
> then, one day i went to the usual place/time we usually met, and no one was there.
> 
> i decided that's it. no more. i more or less lost my buddies because like i say, most of them had moved and soon after ,two more died.
> they were really my only circle of man friends. i still keep in touch with a few of them, but rarely.
> 
> but i found a new life. i was married now, and wanted to spend all my time with my wife. after six years, i still feel that way.
> the thing is, hanging out with your buddies always takes away time you could be spending with your wife, whether that's good or bad.
> 
> sometimes i look back with a smile and a laugh about all the great times, even a bit sad that those days are gone forever,
> but i wouldn't want to go back there, and i have no current interest in finding new man friends.


I don't think this is good for you or your relationship. You need time apart. You are missing out on more great times that could be had with guy friends.

My father didn't have any guy friends. He worked, was a husband and a father. Kids move away. Work stops. Then what. My mom and dad had a great marriage, but I know my mom felt guilty when going out for coffee with friends and leaving dad home alone. I know he was lonely.

I played squash with a group of friends for many years. Now play golf with some buddies. We go on golf trips together. I think it is good for me and for my marriage. My wife has her friends as well.


----------



## Cletus

3Xnocharm said:


> My personal thought is that it isnt healthy not to have your own guy friends. I ended up married to two different men (yes at different times! lol) that neither one had any guy friends, so spend NO time away from me, and it was NOT a good thing. I cant tell you how often I used to PRAY they would just get the hell out of the house for a few hours! Go bowl! Go fish! Go do any damn thing that ISNT HERE and go be a dude for while!


Yup.

The whole "I don't understand GNO/BNO" is fine, as long as what you mean is "it's not important to me" rather than (the much more commone here) "and I look down on those who do it". 

There are things about being a guy that just don't translate into mixed company, truth be told. A poker game with friends, bad food, bad manners, peeing off the deck in back - it just isn't the same with the "gentler sex" around. No doubt the same is true you some of you ladies. Do I really want to hear a long discussion on the latest in tampon applicator technology? I do not. 

I get why that might not appeal to some, but it doesn't make the rest of us Neanderthals if we do in occasionally.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Cletus said:


> 3Xnocharm said:
> 
> 
> 
> My personal thought is that it isnt healthy not to have your own guy friends. I ended up married to two different men (yes at different times! lol) that neither one had any guy friends, so spend NO time away from me, and it was NOT a good thing. I cant tell you how often I used to PRAY they would just get the hell out of the house for a few hours! Go bowl! Go fish! Go do any damn thing that ISNT HERE and go be a dude for while!
> 
> 
> 
> Yup.
> 
> The whole "I don't understand GNO/BNO" is fine, as long as what you mean is "it's not important to me" rather than (the much more commone here) "and I look down on those who do it".
> 
> There are things about being a guy that just don't translate into mixed company, truth be told. A poker game with friends, bad food, bad manners, peeing off the deck in back - it just isn't the same with the "gentler sex" around. No doubt the same is true you some of you ladies. Do I really want to hear a long discussion on the latest in tampon applicator technology? I do not.
> 
> I get why that might not appeal to some, but it doesn't make the rest of us Neanderthals if we do in occasionally.
Click to expand...

Tampon applicator technology?

Lol.


----------



## Cletus

Faithful Wife said:


> Tampon applicator technology?
> 
> Lol.


Now you KNOW that if men needed them, they'd come in matte jet black with a CO2 auto-insertion charge, a digital depth guage, and LED lighting for effect, and every one would come only in "magnum" size. 

What, yours doesn't do that?


----------



## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> Tampon applicator technology?
> 
> Lol.


Yeah. Wasn't touching that one. The women I know talk about hobbies, health and beauty tips and men...


----------



## Cletus

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. Wasn't touching that one. The women I know talk about hobbies, health and beauty tips and men...


Been evesdropping on GNO? You only got the story she wanted you to hear.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Cletus said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> 
> Tampon applicator technology?
> 
> Lol.
> 
> 
> 
> Now you KNOW that if men needed them, they'd come in matte jet black with a CO2 auto-insertion charge, a digital depth guage, and LED lighting for effect, and every one would come only in "magnum" size.
> 
> What, yours doesn't do that?
Click to expand...

It’s just that we talk about our super charged sex toys, not our tampon applicators.

What, you guys don’t talk about the best fleshlights on the market?


----------



## Cletus

Faithful Wife said:


> It’s just that we talk about our super charged sex toys, not our tampon applicators.
> 
> What, you guys don’t talk about the best fleshlights on the market?


We do, but since those are usually attached to a life support system, we don't use that term.


----------



## aine

azimuth said:


> It seems like it depends on how you define cheating, and in your relationship, a pass is given for extreme drunkenness and no penetration? If my partner kissed someone and slept in the same bed as that person, I would consider that a massive betrayal. But that's me and what works for you might not work for someone else. Whose bed were you in by the way? Also those friends did a terrible job watching if they allowed that to happen.


He was so drunk, he could not engage at all and didn't know what was happening, so hardly the initiator.
I have been in a situation before marriage when I fell asleep after drinking too much ( I cannot hold my drink) on the seats at a concert/dance with a mixed group of friends. I was out cold and my then fiance, now H was there and saw our mate bend down to kiss me on the cheek. My H was really angry but with me, not our friend when I didn't know what had happened. The guy moved away and tried to contact my H years later but my H froze him out over that one incident. I didn't do anything wrong (except to get pissed I guess) and I had absolutely no feelings for the guy other than as a friend.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

So would this be a bad time to say, tomorrow is a bno for me?


----------



## 2&out

Sorry. Your right - shouldn't have gone there. Hope you/all have a great weekend. I'm off in my 911 Turbo with my navigator for the next several days. Looks like weather is going to be perfect.


----------



## ConanHub

2&out said:


> Sorry. Your right - shouldn't have gone there. Hope you/all have a great weekend. I'm off in my 911 Turbo with my navigator for the next several days. Looks like weather is going to be perfect.


Have a great weekend!


----------



## In Absentia

I personally hate them. At least here in the UK, where it's usually all about drinking and getting smashed. I prefer mixed nights out, with both women and men. Much more varied and interesting conversation, usually instigated by the ladies. BNOs always end up boring me to tears.


----------



## wild jade

Cletus said:


> Yup.
> 
> The whole "I don't understand GNO/BNO" is fine, as long as what you mean is "it's not important to me" rather than (the much more commone here) "and I look down on those who do it".
> 
> There are things about being a guy that just don't translate into mixed company, truth be told. A poker game with friends, bad food, bad manners, peeing off the deck in back - it just isn't the same with the "gentler sex" around. No doubt the same is true you some of you ladies. Do I really want to hear a long discussion on the latest in tampon applicator technology? I do not.
> 
> I get why that might not appeal to some, but it doesn't make the rest of us Neanderthals if we do in occasionally.


No one called anyone any names or put anyone down. Guys who want to hang out with guys should do so, and ditto for girls.

My hubby, though, says he doesn't really like the dynamic of groups of guys and prefers when women are also in the mix. And I personally feel ditto about groups of women. Conversations about hair, makeup, clothes, babies, weddings, and certain other forms of girl-talk just makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs. And it really doesn't bother me when someone pees off the back of the deck. 

That's just us. When we do go out on our own, it's almost always mixed company -- which sounds like it would never fly with lots of people on TAM


----------



## Middle of Everything

Cletus said:


> Now you KNOW that if men needed them, they'd come in matte jet black with a CO2 auto-insertion charge, a digital depth guage, and LED lighting for effect, and every one would come only in "magnum" size.
> 
> What, yours doesn't do that?


You forgot that Magnum size for the receptacle is bad. Pixie size?


----------



## Cletus

. 

<Sorry, wasn't watching the thread's forum location closely enough>


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

2&out said:


> Sorry. Your right - shouldn't have gone there. Hope you/all have a great weekend. I'm off in my 911 Turbo with my navigator for the next several days. Looks like weather is going to be perfect.


Just got back on the Suzuki, running a few errands. Was going fishing but weather forecast not conducive. 

I'm in the camp, time apart isn't harmful can be beneficial. DW has flown out visiting her Mom for a few days, I'm batching it.

Recently I went combo fishing and class reunion in my hometown for a week, she stayed home.

Of course we take trips together throughout the year, and have a cruise booked first quarter next year, we do every few years.

Tonight I'm going out to listen to a local band (but no driving).

Imho its not that a couple has to feel they have to spend time apart but if it happens it's not really a bad thing, as long as one doesn't feel they're "escaping". 

Just my two cents. Yes, I do miss DW btw. 😍😍😍.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt

ConanHub said:


> I was being watched out for and the gal did the smooching while I was so drunk that I couldn't even stand, much less give consent.


LOL.

We're not your wife. You don't have to lie to us. :laugh:


----------



## ConanHub

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL.
> 
> We're not your wife. You don't have to lie to us. :laugh:


I've always been blunt. My past doesn't jive with my current values at all.

I talk about the **** that happened anyway and try to give my mindset at the time and what I learned from it.

You said it with a laugh so maybe you are just giving me a ribbing.

If you're calling me a liar, that is pretty cheap.

Hope your motivation is the former and not the latter.

Mrs. C knows more than anyone on this site about me BTW.

There is some incredibly dark stuff that you all don't need to have nightmares about that she has dealt with for years.


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## lovelygirl

aine said:


> Ladies, seeing the serious discussion on another thread about GNO, though I would start one on your views on BNOs. Do they bother you, do you approve, do you think there are double standards when it comes to BNO -v- GNO?


There's no "right" or "wrong" answer. It all depends on the situation, place, people you're with and your *core values*. 

Read my signature below and you'll understand how I feel about GNOs/BNOs. 

It's a different situation when you're in a relationship and different when you're married. 

I both cases though, I wouldn't mind it if it happened in a moderate way, taking into account the partner's feelings and also the people you're hanging out with for that night out.

Obviously, when married, I *can't *expect it to happen every weekend or even a bit less often. I'd expect it to happen *way less often*. On the other hand, it depends on the activity. If it's for fishing or football games or card playing or anything similar, I wouldn't really mind if it happened once a week or once in two weeks. 

But if it was for night club then I'd expect it to happen way more rarely, if not once a year or twice. HOWEVER, the night out should not include strip clubs or other things which are disrespectful to the other partner. Even say, card-playing with the boys while hitting on other girls ---- That'd be plain disrespectful.

Therefore, as I said it depends on the place and how he'd act when with the boys. It comes down to his personality and the (dis)respect he has for the relationship/marriage.


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## plastow

personofinterest said:


> The snarky cynical part of me wants to reply, this is different because boys have penises so they are better. Lol
> 
> 
> In reality, it depends upon the couple. But if you are on the girls night out thread wigging out about making sure your woman stays home, you better not be heading out to that poker game lol
> 
> However, and I will probably get flamed for this, I don't think cheating scenarios happen as often on boys night out as they do on girls night out.


i have no idea of numbers
but in the mens night out they dont usually find women hitting on them as often as girls are.


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## lifeistooshort

Zombie thread.

Closed.


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