# Divorced for a year now, ex wife hates me



## Mattlostatsea

Hi, im new to this group. I wanted to ask you guys about a few things. I have known my ex wife for about 17 years, we were married in 2003 and divorced 12 months ago, she basically said she didnt live me anymore, i was upset...she just left me there and went upstairs to wash her hair.......

We have 2 lovely boys as well.

Issue i have is this...since our family house was sold, she moved into rented accomodation and so did I, i started seeing a nice girl and she insisted on being present when my new partner met our boys...........but when it comes to her, she introduced her new partner to our boys without consulting me and she has no moved him in without consulting me............is this normal? Please help or advise.


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## Anubis

Sadly, it's all too normal. That doesn't make it 'right' in terms of what's best for your children.

She still doesn't give a flying flip about you, and sees her wants as priority #1... even over the well being of your sons. And I'll bet she thinks she's smarter than everyone else and that she "knows whats she's doing" as far as your boys being exposed to her boyfriend. (Why do I think he's an 'old' boyfriend?)


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## Deejo

Just smile and say "That sounds great."

If you have just started seeing this woman, leave the kids out of it ... for a good long time. Simple rule, don't introduce your kids to people that may not be around all that long.

My ex just dumped her BF that was very involved with and loved my kids, and they loved him ... I had no issue with that. But now, they get to deal with loss ... again.

Introduce your kids when you feel it's appropriate. Don't give your ex a second thought in the process. Mothers presume they have some carte blanche about who and what their children are exposed to, and the father does not. Don't take that bait or even indulge the conversation now that you are divorced. She has no say. Just like you have no say over what she does. (my ex has been very good about this, I know of other stories much like yours)


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## Agast84

I have to agree with Anubis and Deejo. I couldn't put it better.


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## unbelievable

If I heard a man say his ex wife was robbing graves and attempting to assemble a monster in her basement from the scavenged parts, I wouldn't find the news shocking. The only real help you can get is a divorce and you've had one for a year. Don't spend time worrying about what she's doing in her crypt. You have no control over it, anyway. You can only resolve to be a sane, responsible parent so the kids have someplace safe to go while she's out riding her broom on Halloween.


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## hookares

Ex wives will care no more for what you want after thesplit than they did while you were together.
The only exception is if she gets in a financial bind, then she will be all ears.
I agree with Deejo's assessment in regards to any future companions since I know to be a fact that there may well be a whole string of "contenders" before a suitable replacement is found.
This would indicate that she should be following the same rules that she has found a way to set for you.


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## KanDo

Mattlostatsea said:


> ..We have 2 lovely boys as well.
> 
> i started seeing a nice girl and she insisted on being present when my new partner met our boys...........but when it comes to her, she introduced her new partner to our boys without consulting me and she has no moved him in without consulting me............is this normal? Please help or advise.


Why the h3ll would your ex wife *even know *you were seeing someone new, much less be present when you decide to introduce her to your children?!!

You are divorced, for heavens sake. Stop involving your Ex in your life. Grow into a mature whole person, separate and distinct from that woman who doesn't love you.

P.S. I agree that you really shouldn'e been introducing GF to the kids until very late in the relationship.


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## The Middleman

Mattlostatsea said:


> Hi, im new to this group. I wanted to ask you guys about a few things. I have known my ex wife for about 17 years, we were married in 2003 and divorced 12 months ago, she basically said she didnt live me anymore, i was upset...she just left me there and went upstairs to wash her hair.......
> 
> We have 2 lovely boys as well.
> 
> Issue i have is this...since our family house was sold, she moved into rented accomodation and so did I, i started seeing a nice girl and she insisted on being present when my new partner met our boys...........but when it comes to her, she introduced her new partner to our boys without consulting me and she has no moved him in without consulting me............is this normal? Please help or advise.


I think she is trying to show you who's boss. if she is the custodial parent, you have no say in the matter anyway unless you are willing to take her to court and prove that this guy being around your kids is harmful.


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