# wife gets put off when thinking of me



## si__d__2003 (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi there,

Me and my wife have been married for just under a year.
We have both never slept with anyone before the marriage so it took us a while to feel comfortable with each other. but my wife says she cannot cum without fantasising about something or someone. There isn't a face on this person she thinks about but when she tries to imagine me, then she loses it and cannot orgasm. 
She thinks there is something wrong with her and doesn't like to discuss it with anyone in fear of being judged. 
Is this something that a lot of people do or is it me I don't know,
If you could give me some advise that would help as we fear it could damage our relationship


----------



## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

There is nothing wrong with her. Women are mental when it comes to sex. We orgasm mostly by thoughts combined with the actions of sex. That's why dirty talk and such get a lot of women going. It helps with their imagination. 

She's fine and I don't see how it could damage your relationship unless she's thinking about someone specific.


----------



## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Star said:


> I think that maybe she is trying to hard to O and is feeling pressured?


I think she feels pressured to think about HIM when she cums and thinks she should only be thinking of her husband when she has sex. 

I say it's okay that she doesn't and it doesn't mean she doesn't love him or isn't attracted to him. It also doesn't mean he doesn't satisfy her or that she wants to cheat on him.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i wouldnt care if my wife thought about someone or something else. whatever works. i jokingly told her to go to a male strip club the other night cause i knew she would come home to me...she just snarled at me


----------



## si__d__2003 (Jun 28, 2009)

thanks for the replies guys it puts my mind at ease a little, that it sounds normal for women to fantisise about other things. But Im not sure if this is stemming from the fact that she may not be sexually attracted to me, but Its early doors yet as I dont think she has a sexual appitite due to lack of it. Hopefull it may change when we start experimenting.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I don't think it has anything to do with lack of attraction to you. Most women were raised to believe sex is bad/naughty/whatever...and it's not that easy for some to switch that mentality when they marry...it might be easier for her to fantasize than to look in your eyes and be fully in the present...especially if she has any self-image issues.


----------



## si__d__2003 (Jun 28, 2009)

Thanks Swedish and the rest of you guys , i was considering to see a councellor, but I think if we talk about it and mention what you guys ahve said it may help us both realise that its ok.


----------

