# What happens when wife moves out?



## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

My wife is moving out this month. I've decided to stay in the house we're renting and try to find a roommate. If I can't find a roommate in time, I will be responsible for all the expenses which I cannot afford alone.

So, I was just wondering. Being that we're still married, am I still legally entitled to half of our combined income?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Depends. How have your agreed to split our assets?

Do you have children?


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

We agreed to split our assets 50/50. Yes, we have a child that we are planning to do joint custody with.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does your wife earn a lot more than you?

You can file for divorce and petition for interim spousal support. That's support during the divorce process. She can do the same thing. The same goes for custody and child support. Then the court will use the state calculator to determine if either of you is entitled to anything from the other.

How long have you two been married?

Do you work full time?


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

Yes, she earns a lot more than me. I was hoping she would just give me the money without having to file for it.

We've been married 15 years.

No, part-time.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why don't you work full time?

How long have you been working part time?

How old are your children?

She does not have to give you anything until the court orders her to.


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

I have health issues. I've been working part-time pretty much the whole marriage. Our child is 5.



> She does not have to give you anything until the court orders her to.


I guess that answers my question then.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

User Name said:


> I have health issues. I've been working part-time pretty much the whole marriage. Our child is 5.
> 
> 
> 
> I guess that answers my question then.


If you need support ASAP then you can ask your attorney to file for an emergency hearing.

Do you have access to your joint assets? If you do open an account in your name only and move 50% to your account. Keep good records because you will need them for the divorce. AS this is your 50% of the assets (or at least your 50% of whatever asset you get the cash out of.)

If you don't have access to $$ to file for divorce, look for an attorney who will ask the court to order your wife to pay your legal fees out of community assets.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You should talk to a lawyer ASAP. You're likely not entitled magically to half of your joint income, but if you have custody of your child, in the end you'll be entitled to a significant portion, as she'll owe child support and possibly spousal support for some period of time. Most likely, it will be retroactive to the date of your separation, but if she doesn't cough up support voluntarily, you may have to fight for it.

A lawyer will be able to speak to your particular jurisdiction, and your situation. We would just be guessing. Your lawyer will also be able to tell you if infidelity is a factor, if that's your situation.

Good luck.

C


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

Okay, thanks.

I figured I could do it by filing or using an attorney.

I just wanted to know if I was legally entitled to half of our combined income until the divorce has been initiated and becomes final.


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

Is child support mandatory or optional? I've heard that the receiving parent can decline child support.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

User Name said:


> Okay, thanks.
> 
> I figured I could do it by filing or using an attorney.
> 
> I just wanted to know if I was legally entitled to half of our combined income until the divorce has been initiated and becomes final.


Why didn't you get your free consultation that you mentioned in your January thread? In fact, people have been advising you since about this time last year to talk to a lawyer and get an understanding of your situation. There's no sense asking for advice if you're not going to use it.

My advice, start getting more aggressive about taking care of yourself, because nobody else is likely to do that. 

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

User Name said:


> Is child support mandatory or optional? I've heard that the receiving parent can decline child support.


Why would you decline child support? That money, if nothing else, is for the child, and the receiving parent is taking it on their behalf. They should put it in a trust fund for the child, if they don't need it. 

As the providing parent, they need to be careful as well. The receiving parent could decline the money, and then come back later for a bunch of back support. 

C


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

I did go for a free consultation, two actually. I just wasn't sure of the circumstances in this particular situation, which occurred after the consultations.

For whatever reason, neither of us have filed yet, but that will be happening very soon.

The reason I asked about the child support is because when I told my family I was going to receive child support they got upset with me. I told them it was mandatory and they said I should decline it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

User Name said:


> I did go for a free consultation, two actually. I just wasn't sure of the circumstances in this particular situation, which occurred after the consultations.
> 
> For whatever reason, neither of us have filed yet, but that will be happening very soon.
> 
> The reason I asked about the child support is because when I told my family I was going to receive child support they got upset with me. I told them it was mandatory and they said I should decline it.


No it cannot be declined. It's for you child. What you can do if you do not want to use it is to put it in an account in her name. That way when she graduates from high school she will have a nice saving for college, down payment on a house, or whatever else she will need the money for.


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

I don't know where they got that information from. But they said they knew people that declined child support.

I guess for pride reasons.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

User Name said:


> I don't know where they got that information from. But they said they knew people that declined child support.
> 
> I guess for pride reasons.


Check with an attorney as your state might be unique. But I doubt is since the idea is that your child should live in similar circumstances with both parents.


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

So, that means the child shouldn't live in a 3 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood with one parent and then in a studio apartment in a bad area with the other parent?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

User Name said:


> So, that means the child shouldn't live in a 3 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood with one parent and then in a studio apartment in a bad area with the other parent?


There's nothing preventing one parent from mismanaging their money and not being able to provide an equal home, unfortunately. 

And I think you should ignore advice from your family. Unless you like cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're worried about being unable to pay your rent and bills and medical expenses, and they're telling you to decline child support? Are you supposed to live on air and unicorn farts?

C


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## User Name (Jun 30, 2013)

I guess some people feel it's inappropriate for a male to be financially supported by a female.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

User Name said:


> I guess some people feel it's inappropriate for a male to be financially supported by a female.


Maybe it might be a good idea to stop talking to your family about the financial side of your divorce.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

User Name said:


> I guess some people feel it's inappropriate for a male to be financially supported by a female.


Given your situation, are pride and vanity feasible luxuries?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Child support is not forced by the state or mandatory. If two parties are in agreement the courts will go along with it. Given your child is only 5 and you have health issues I think it would be in your best interests to get child support. If for nothing more than to start a college fund or something along those lines. 

Pride is one thing, making sure you can cover all the expenses to give your child a good home is another. Its easy for your family to say decline it but they aren’t paying the bills now are they? On a 15 year marriage you could probably get 5-7 years alimony also


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

User Name said:


> I guess some people feel it's inappropriate for a male to be financially supported by a female.


Tell them that its equality.
Women have fought very hard for the right to provide alimony and spouse+child support.
How dare you deny your wife what is rightfully hers to give.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

If you feel that it is undignified to take money from your STBX, then earn more and once you have stable income you can reduce what she gives you. 

You may have a right to spousal support = alimony.

How are you disabled, mentally, physically? Are you getting better? This was presumably an issue that contributed to the demise of your marriage.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Please keep in mind that any spousal support you receive will likely be temporary and you're going to have to make plans to ultimately support yourself.
And depending on what your health condition is a judge may disagree that you can't work full time; that's what legal advice is for.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

honcho said:


> Child support is not forced by the state or mandatory. If two parties are in agreement the courts will go along with it. Given your child is only 5 and you have health issues I think it would be in your best interests to get child support. If for nothing more than to start a college fund or something along those lines.
> 
> Pride is one thing, making sure you can cover all the expenses to give your child a good home is another. Its easy for your family to say decline it but they aren’t paying the bills now are they? On a 15 year marriage you could probably get 5-7 years alimony also



Correct. Child support only becomes an issue if one parent goes on public assistance, and may not be granted anyway if custody is 50/50.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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