# Not cheating....but behaving like you are.



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

So I have a buddy of mine that I've known for about 10 years and he has been married for 8 of those, and every now and then he posts pics of him and his wife out with other couples that they know at a bar or maybe backyard bbq's. And on many occasions he is posing with him and some of the other women inappropriately, where he will be licking the faces of some of them or maybe acting like he's grabbing their breasts or butts in a playful manner. Now even though his wife seems to be "ok" with all of that(or just hasn't spoke up yet about it), is this acceptable behavior or a very inappropriate way of representing them as a married couple?

It's not something either me or my wife would do and it has more to do about _respect_ than it does about cheating.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Each marriage is different so what one couple may think it totally inappropriate and beyond what they're willing to tolerate,another couple might find it part of sharing their lives with people.

Personally I think it would be beyond what I would be willing to deal with.
It seems to be popular to get tipsy and then toe the line of inappropriate behavior with your closest neighborhood couples.
Some couples feel that teasing and playfulness with others puts spark and passion into the bedroom and are totally ok with that stuff as long as that's where it ends.


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

It would depend on the situation for me. If I was there when the pics were taken, and knew that they were just "silly pics", I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I wasn't there, didn't know the situation, I would take issue with it. 

That said, a couple of years ago my hubby was presenting awards at his company's annual meeting (I didn't attend). In the next issue of the company's newspaper there was a picture of him in it. In the pic the lady he was presenting the award to had jumped into his arms and kissed him. I teased him about it relentlessly. He hadn't mentioned that it had happened, but knowing this woman I know how excited she must have been to receive the award, and I know that she's very exciteable. Not to mention, she's probably about 70 years old. :rofl:


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> It would depend on the situation for me. If I was there when the pics were taken, and knew that they were just "silly pics", I wouldn't have a problem with it. If I wasn't there, didn't know the situation, I would take issue with it.
> 
> That said, a couple of years ago my hubby was presenting awards at his company's annual meeting (I didn't attend). In the next issue of the company's newspaper there was a picture of him in it. In the pic the lady he was presenting the award to had jumped into his arms and kissed him. I teased him about it relentlessly. He hadn't mentioned that it had happened, but knowing this woman I know how excited she must have been to receive the award, and I know that she's very exciteable. Not to mention, she's probably about 70 years old. :rofl:


These are all on Facebook btw and so he's not trying to hide them, and in some she is there but in many others she is not there and he is shown carrying on with other women in a playful manner I guess.


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Totally inappropriate, beyond boundaries and disrespectful!!
To me that's how it is.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

****And on many occasions he is posing with him and some of the other women inappropriately, where he will be licking the faces of some of them or maybe acting like he's grabbing their breasts or butts in a playful manner.****

I wouldn't like if my fiance did it, whether or not I was there. these days I work off the premise that relationships are dynamic. Who knows where this kind of behavior can lead?


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> Totally inappropriate, beyond boundaries and disrespectful!!
> To me that's how it is.


I agree 1,000% but he doesn't see it or think so, and tells me that I am just "jealous" because he gets away with stuff like that.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That wouldn't fly with me if my partner were doing it. 

It's their marriage though so whatever works for them...


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> That wouldn't fly with me if my partner were doing it.
> 
> It's their marriage though so whatever works for them...


They also have a 6 year old son, and I don't think he would ever like to see public photos of his dad doing that type stuff to women who aren't his mother.


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> I agree 1,000% but he doesn't see it or think so, and tells me that I am just "jealous" because he gets away with stuff like that.


If he doesn't think so then his problem.
If one day his son sees the pictures I'm sure he won't feel proud of his dad. Thus, his loss.


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> If he doesn't think so then his problem.
> If one day his son sees the pictures I'm sure he won't feel proud of his dad. Thus, his loss.


His wife is a very very nice woman and is very patient with him, but my guess is that everyone has their limits and one day she is going to get FED UP and that's when sh*t will hit the fan I'm sure!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cee Paul said:


> They also have a 6 year old son, and I don't think he would ever like to see public photos of his dad doing that type stuff to women who aren't his mother.


Right. But it's their marriage so it's not for you or me to say what's right/wrong for them. To each their own.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> His wife is a very very nice woman and is very patient with him, but my guess is that everyone has their limits and one day she is going to get FED UP and that's when sh*t will hit the fan I'm sure!


This is largely what happened in my marriage. I knew my husband was very playful like this. It was always playful and totally innocent (?), and he never tried to hide any of it. I was young enough and had low enough self-esteem to buy into his contention that this wasn't anything I should be bothered by. I didn't know early on that this type of behavior would just progress further and further. By the time I figured it out, he'd been "getting away" with so much for so long that he balked, badly, when I asked him to be more respectful of me and of our marriage. He ended up deep in what he insists was just an emotional affair. But, his history of boundary-free living leaves me with no reasonable expectation that he wouldn't have been physical with her - he certainly was, in a "playful" manner of course, with everyone else we've ever known. 

So, yes, in a year, or five years or ten years, this guy _will_ cross a line that even his patient, low-key, unshakable wife won't be able to tolerate. He'll be oblivious and/or defensive about it, and she'll either leave or withdraw so far into herself and away from him that she can't be hurt by him anymore.


----------



## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

If his wife doesnt care, you shouldnt either. Stay out of it. Good way to lose a friend by getting involved......


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> If his wife doesnt care, you shouldnt either. Stay out of it. Good way to lose a friend by getting involved......


Oh I'm not gonna get involved and I have my own fish to fry, but if the crap does hit the fan he'll only have himself to blame and he will get no sympathy from me.


----------



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

meh.

i guess i could use the fraise...

Choke a Betch for this one.
and,
Hit em in the deck...

yep. no way jose!!!!!!!


----------

