# should I go for this guy or not ?



## Mary9878 (Oct 1, 2016)

Hey all 

I need a favour from all of you...some suggestions of what you think about my dilemma i am facing now a days....
I am 37 years old female..law graduate , not employed....
And some relatives of mine are trying to fix me up with a guy who is 27 years old.....12th grade drop out...doing a job as a sales man i guess...
As you all can see this is the 1st of my issues ....he is much younger than me and a lot less educated...
Plus he is not financially setteld
And somehow in our little talk he suggested me that i can support him financially in future as his wife if i have any money...
Now i am confused about if he is really that good or if he is after some financial goal ???


I await your positive comments and help. 

Thanks


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Mary9878 said:


> Hey all
> 
> I need a favour from all of you...some suggestions of what you think about my dilemma i am facing now a days....
> 
> ...


You say that you are unemployed. How long have you been unemployed? Do you anticipate going back to work as a lawyer, or in any other capacity?

How long has he been in his current job?



Mary9878 said:


> As you all can see this is the 1st of my issues ....he is much younger than me and a lot less educated...
> 
> Plus he is not financially settled
> 
> ...


Was he serious when he suggested that you could support him? 

How many times have you talked to him?

I would take him at his word. He's looking for a woman to support him. And he had the audacity to say this before he really even knew you.

Based on that, I suggest you not date him.

Unless of course it's your goal to have a husband who you support.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Are you seriously entertaining this? Even though the media tries to hype this cougar thing, I just don't see many men IRL being interested long term in a woman that's 10 years older than them. I guess for a few nights maybe but for an LTR or heavens forbid marriage, no way.

His educational and career short comings may be a problem for some women but he's working and is no way near his prime. There is still some time for him to improve his station in life. But as it stands today, he's beneath your station. 

As a 37 year old woman you should understand that a normal 27 year old man's eyes are naturally going to be more drawn to a woman of 23 to 29, with an emphases on the lower end of the scale. Unless you're WAY above average in looks & body, you'll set yourself up for being hurt. Not to be vulgar but no man is going to get hard over your law degree. Now a 40 something would naturally be drawn to you. I'm sure like most women, you want a man who'll cherish you. Not a boy who'll think he's found his meal ticket.


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## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

Seriously?

I think I would steer clear of my relatives for now.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Mary9878 said:


> Hey all
> 
> I need a favour from all of you...some suggestions of what you think about my dilemma i am facing now a days....
> I am 37 years old female..law graduate , not employed....
> ...


I was willing to give this moron the benefit of the doubt until the bolded part. You're not getting a partner, you are getting a son. Unless this is just a fling to you (doing your cougar thing) I would say the relationship potential here is bad. That's my analysis based on your post.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Even if they tell you, or infer in any way, that it's your monetary resources that they trophy much rather than love, then they simply need to be avoided like the plague!

If that truly is the case, then they only love your monetary resources, and certainly not any part of your heart or spirit!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Mary9878 said:


> And somehow in our little talk he suggested me that i can support him financially in future as his wife if i have any money...


No... no... no...


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If you just want a fling, then go for it. 

If you want something more...then stay away. Don't think you can have a fling and then figure it all out later, since he told you upfront what he is looking for.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

The wonderful thing about dating is that you can have any biases that you want. You can decide what ages, occupations, races, height, weight, etc. you want to date, and which you do not. 

You just need to be honest with your partner. 

If you want to date him short term for fun, that is fine, as long as you don't suggest to him that this is long term. If you don't want to date him, that's fine. If you want to marry him, that's fine.

The difference in ages and occupations / education makes is seem likely that you will not have that much in common. Maybe so likely that it isn't worth going on a date. 

I would not date someone under similar circumstances, but it is up to you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Mary9878 said:


> Now i am confused about if he is really that good or if he is after some financial goal ???


LOL...the loser's 'financial goal' is to find a woman to support his lazy, uneducated ass.


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## SadDaisy (Sep 16, 2015)

I would not even consider.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Mary9878 said:


> Hey all
> 
> I need a favour from all of you...some suggestions of what you think about my dilemma i am facing now a days....
> I am 37 years old female..law graduate , not employed....
> ...


What do you like about him exactly? He is 10 years younger, unemployed with not a lot of prospects and a bit of a gold digger? Sounds like you would just end up being his parent.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

Listen to you all. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. What if it was a 37 year old man with a law degree and a 27 year old girl not really going places career wise. That would be a perfect match, right? He'd help her through her studies because that's his job as a man, to support his woman.

So it's routine to take the cash flow off a man, but not the other way round?

Women want equality? Doesn't sound like it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TAM2013 said:


> Listen to you all. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. What if it was a 37 year old man with a law degree and a 27 year old girl not really going places career wise. That would be a perfect match, right? He'd help her through her studies because that's his job as a man, to support his woman.
> 
> So it's routine to take the cash flow off a man, but not the other way round?
> 
> Women want equality? Doesn't sound like it.


What makes you think any of us would think the scenario you suggest would be ok? 

If a guy came here and posted that a woman he had had no relationship with told him that she wanted to date him and wanted him to marry her and support her, I would tell the guy to run.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

All that should come into play Mary, is what YOU think about possibly dating him. If you don't think that he's right for you, then who cares who is ''referring'' him to you. If you're not feeling it yourself, then just politely tell your relatives that you're not interested.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Are your relatives making fun of you? Why would anyone who has your best interest at heart pair you up with such a mismatch?

Maybe they are playing a joke on you. Maybe he is in on it too. 

Are you entertaining the idea of having something with this guy you don't respect because he is not on your level education wise? If you weren't 37 but 29, would you even give this guy a chance after telling you he wants you as a wife if you take care of him? 

Boy, would I laugh my behind off at his ridiculous comment. That is all he deserves for being so immature and wanting a piggy to carry him on her back. 

Do you see yourself as a piggy bank for a 27 year old that not even younger women would see as marriage material? Why would an educated, intelligent woman give this kind of 27 year old kid the time of day?

Walk away and laugh him off. Talk about immature!


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> What makes you think any of us would think the scenario you suggest would be ok?


Because that 'scenario' plays out day in, day out all over the world both covertly and openly and no one bats an eyelid. It's expected. A 10 year age gap maybe a larger gap than average, but not uncommon.

Talk about double standards. Women want equality when it suits them.


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## Tiggy! (Sep 9, 2016)

TAM2013 said:


> Talk about double standards. Women want equality when it suits them.



:scratchhead:
That makes no sense, woman have double standards because some men choose to financially support a younger woman?


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## GreyEcho (Sep 28, 2016)

RUN!!! You have a future, he's hoping your success will benefit him .. You don't need the future heart ache 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

Tiggy! said:


> :scratchhead:That makes no sense, woman have double standards because some men choose to financially support a younger woman?


Age has got nothing to do with it. Most are saying it's outrageous for a woman to financially support a man, but most women routinely take financial support off men.

Double standard. It's all here in black and white.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

TAM2013 said:


> Age has got nothing to do with it. Most are saying it's outrageous for a woman to financially support a man, but most women routinely take financial support off men.
> 
> Double standard. It's all here in black and white.


I can see your point easily....many of us don't think it's outrageous when men protect & provide, desiring to marry the younger woman who is less educated.. she may even stay at home.. these being more traditional men , of course... 

Yet If I was this woman ...I'd be very concerned.... I think it's best to marry in our social class... 10 yrs isn't too awful of a difference I suppose.. but I'd not at all trust this would be wise in FOR HER....given what he said (at least he laid it out there -was honest!)....that basically he's looking to get his future financed. 

This is so much less about authentic Love, a compatibility where they both can't get enough of each other... something lasting, that I wouldn't be counting on...


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What makes you think any of us would think the scenario you suggest would be ok?
> 
> If a guy came here and posted that a woman he had had no relationship with told him that she wanted to date him and wanted him to marry her and support her, I would tell the guy to run.



If you take the marriage out of it, sounds like a sugar baby arrangement.


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## Tiggy! (Sep 9, 2016)

TAM2013 said:


> Age has got nothing to do with it. Most are saying it's outrageous for a woman to financially support a man, but most women routinely take financial support off men.
> 
> Double standard. It's all here in black and white.


Depends if the women on this thread who are saying not to financially support this man are financially dependant on a man or not (I don't view sahp as being financially supported, but the man in question isn't a sahp).
The fact other women are financially supported doesn't automatically mean the women on this thread have double standards.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> looking to get *his* future financed.


Change that _his_ to a _her_ and you have the basis of most marriages. Why does no one say "oh, she's just looking to get her future financed"? Because she usually IS and it doesn't even need saying. Or that the money keeps on coming when they're divorced, she gets primary care, child support and alimony.

I don't think a woman should financially support a man, personally. I'm saying people (women AND men) are so brain washed they can't even admit this blindingly obvious double standard exists yet they're the first to bleat on about double standards when they effect women.

None of this pointed at you SA. We agree on lots of stuff.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

TAM2013 said:


> Age has got nothing to do with it. Most are saying it's outrageous for a woman to financially support a man, but most women routinely take financial support off men.
> 
> Double standard. It's all here in black and white.


This "double standard" as you call it exists because men always mention how they don't care what a woman does for a living, what her education is, how much money she makes etc. I have seen so many threads where men will say they don't give a damn. They care more about how attractive she is, what sort of mother they would be and what not. I personally think many men should start caring actually. Unless they specifically want to marry a SAHM. 

And for the record, my husband is 13 years older than me. And I make as much money as he does. I could never allow myself to be financially dependent on a man. On anyone really.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You need to get a job,any job even if it is volunteering.
You need to fix your self esteem issues.
There is a saying you can pick your friends but not your relatives and this is very true in this case.Unless your relatives are joking then you need to tell them your not that fcukin desperate.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

No, don't get involved with this "man". You are just setting yourself up for terrible disappointment or worse.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

This has got nothing to do with anything other than hypocrisy. True equality means no gender bias. It follows the young man is entitled to 'do it' because 'women do it' and 'do it' without judgement or discrimination.

Most of you just fell into a trap. All you have to do now is have the balls to admit it. ^^^^^^^This is what equality looks like, people^^^^^^^ WAKE UP.

Like I said, equality............................when it suits.


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