# I need a hobby!



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

Hi,

I don't really have any hobbies. In my 20's I worked 1 FT and 2x PT jobs and I was studying to become an accountant - there wasn't really time for any hobbies.
In my 30's, I was promoted to a demanding job. I also got married. Every time I tried to take up a hobby, I failed as there would be some work reason I couldn't attend scheduled classes. When I did have free time, I'd usually spend it socialising. In the absence of anything else, I'd open a bottle of wine and sit and chat. This became too frequent
I am now going through a divorce and living alone. I still have a very demanding job, but I do have some free time, I just can't commit to a schedule / classes since I cannot guarantee getting out of work regularly. As a result, I've found myself slipping back into opening a bottle of wine after work. I'd like to do different but I don't know what. I live away from any family or friends and I don't know anyone locally either.

In the past I've tried running but really, I've never got the buzz from sports that others seem to. Being an asthmatic smoker probably doesn't help 😆 I'm not massively into TV, I'll occasionally watch something. I've tried doing yoga at home but I don't have a space to do it - I also don't really enjoy it. 

I'm a social person, which is why I guess mostly I end up opening a bottle and chatting to friends. I also enjoy online gaming, but that's just the same. But I would like to try to find something else to fill some of that time and create a better balance - something healthier! How do I fill 3+ hours in an evening without resorting to what I know to stop me feeling lonely? 

Has anyone else had a similar experience and found a way to do something different? Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks
Angela


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I work Sudoku puzzles in the evenings while my shows are on and make beaded necklaces and earrings during the day. It's creative, takes little instruction and is fun to wear.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Jewellery making, cross stitch, astronomy, building plastic scale model kits, embroidery, crochet, knitting, jigsaws, painting/drawing, diamond dots, photography, fashion bag collecting, researching historic fashion and making reproductions of them.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Do you like walking? There are probably walking groups around and you can chat as well. It will also be good for your health.


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Try making the time to attend the classes. I know when I have an after work event like a class I make more of an effort to be efficient to get out on time. When I can't, I take the work home & do it after the class. You need stuff to balance work for your mental health. 

Since you do like wine, consider learning more about it.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

In my opinion, you will have to do something you enjoy. It may not be what some would call a typical hobby, but it usually doesn’t work to push yourself into something just to fill a void. 
find what you enjoy even if it’s not exciting to others or something that can be discussed with excitement. Find what you enjoy and do it.


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Do you like walking? There are probably walking groups around and you can chat as well. It will also be good for your health.


I do. And I live by the beach and hills of Wales. This sounds like a good option. I've taken myself for some short walks, but with company would be better.


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

D0nnivain said:


> Try making the time to attend the classes. I know when I have an after work event like a class I make more of an effort to be efficient to get out on time. When I can't, I take the work home & do it after the class. You need stuff to balance work for your mental health.
> 
> Since you do like wine, consider learning more about it.


Unfortunately I am Plant Manager for a 24/7 manufacturing operation. My work can't fit neatly into schedules. This is why I never stuck to things before. I can't simply pick it up later in the evening sadly. So it need to be something flexible.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Reading. Needlework or quilting. Fashion design and clothes making. Historical re-enacting. Volunteering with a civic group, food pantry, historic preservation society, garden club, church or youth group. Cooking or baking. Perfumery. Soap making or candle making. Art - oils, watercolors, charcoals, pencil sketches, pottery, etc.. Making hats or fascinators. Collecting - anything from salt & pepper shakers to books to ironstone or anything else you can imagine and afford. 

A hobby need not really involve taking any classes at all. Just start doing something you enjoy and keep doing it. Boom! Hobby.


----------



## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Strength training will help you retain your muscles (and shape) as you age, takes very little equipment, and very little time. Starting Strength (Rippetoe) is good book to tell you all the details. The beginning program is 3 days per week. It’s motivating to keep adding weight to the bar.


----------



## MEA (Jul 12, 2021)

There are virtual meetups on meetup.com that you can take advantage of when you have the time. I too have missed events due to last minute work “emergencies” as a project manager.
I find that with these groups, you can miss an event or meeting and nobody takes it personally.
I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out, but you may be healthier for it. Studies are starting to show that marriage benefits men while taking a toll on women. Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

My go to's are 3D printing, home improvement projects, and reading.


----------



## ISeekSolace (Apr 14, 2021)

Stock market trading and investing - Could be a hobby and help you achieve your financial goals as well


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

MarmiteC said:


> Hi,
> 
> I don't really have any hobbies. In my 20's I worked 1 FT and 2x PT jobs and I was studying to become an accountant - there wasn't really time for any hobbies.
> In my 30's, I was promoted to a demanding job. I also got married. Every time I tried to take up a hobby, I failed as there would be some work reason I couldn't attend scheduled classes. When I did have free time, I'd usually spend it socialising. In the absence of anything else, I'd open a bottle of wine and sit and chat. This became too frequent
> ...


Bike riding or kayaking? I guess you're away from home too much to have a dog which is what you really need to feel that void and have something to get you out of the house. But you're way too many hours for that.

Have you considered volunteer work at something that sounds fun to you like working with animals or an animal rescue? I'm sure more work doesn't seem appealing because I know when you work that much you do probably just need to rest. I worked two jobs the most of my life. How about just going out to a nice restaurant? I know some people don't like to eat alone but I have done it ever since I was young and it just doesn't bother me a bit. You could also see if you can get into reading. If you learn to like reading and opens up a whole world.


----------



## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Avid reader here. Started gardening after the pandemic started and I love it! I eat all the greens I grow and they are pretty much for free now. I'm a plant based eater, so grocery bills are dirt cheap now! Win, win for me. 

Sewing (sigh),... I used to love as my first degree was fashion merchandising and design. I can sew and make my own patterns. At my age, my eyes are tired as is my back and everything else. At 56, sewing was just too hard on my back and sitting for hours was not good either. I still love designing and making my own clothes. No one wears what I wear! It's really nice to be that unique in the fashion industry.


----------



## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

A language class? If you like socialising, it’s a great way to meet people from a different culture, you’ll meet a whole new group of friends, a bit of homework here and there to do in the evenings too.


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I always recommend fly fishing even though I don't fish. You can spend as much or as little, time, money, energy, as you want. You can do it alone or with friends.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

MarmiteC said:


> I do. And I live by the beach and hills of Wales. This sounds like a good option. I've taken myself for some short walks, but with company would be better.


Try meetup.com --- they have tons of groups for just about any interest....


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

What interests you?

My knee-jerk thought was get a guitar and teach yourself to play. Hours can go by when learning an instrument, and it both engages and relaxes the mind. Tutorials on youtube. Although that's a solo activity so it depends on if if it's more about meeting others.


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

ISeekSolace said:


> Stock market trading and investing - Could be a hobby and help you achieve your financial goals as well


That could be interesting. As an Accountant I quite like money 😆


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> A language class? If you like socialising, it’s a great way to meet people from a different culture, you’ll meet a whole new group of friends, a bit of homework here and there to do in the evenings too.


I was thinking about picking up a language again. I grew up in Germany so I was thinking about learning that to fluency. I'd disregarded it as it didn't meet the social aspect, but maybe a class is possible.


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Bike riding or kayaking? I guess you're away from home too much to have a dog which is what you really need to feel that void and have something to get you out of the house. But you're way too many hours for that.
> 
> Have you considered volunteer work at something that sounds fun to you like working with animals or an animal rescue? I'm sure more work doesn't seem appealing because I know when you work that much you do probably just need to rest. I worked two jobs the most of my life. How about just going out to a nice restaurant? I know some people don't like to eat alone but I have done it ever since I was young and it just doesn't bother me a bit. You could also see if you can get into reading. If you learn to like reading and opens up a whole world.


Sadly yes, I am away from home too much for a dog. And I had to leave my cats behind when I left as I could not take them to rented accommodation with me (I left my husband in our nice big house since he has a child and it was less disruptive for me to be the one to move out.). I did post on a local group last night if anyone would like help with dog walking. I am an animal lover so maybe volunteering could work.

I do love reading, but tend to find I don't create so much time for it anymore. I do eat alone at restaurants when I have to travel with work (something that's not happened since the pandemic) but not sure I could do it on my own without that excuse. 

There's some great ideas here though.


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

heartsbeating said:


> What interests you?
> 
> My knee-jerk thought was get a guitar and teach yourself to play. Hours can go by when learning an instrument, and it both engages and relaxes the mind. Tutorials on youtube. Although that's a solo activity so it depends on if if it's more about meeting others.


I love music and I used to play the keyboard and piano when I was younger before multiple jobs and studying became my way of life. I could look into that again, thank you


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

MEA said:


> There are virtual meetups on meetup.com that you can take advantage of when you have the time. I too have missed events due to last minute work “emergencies” as a project manager.
> I find that with these groups, you can miss an event or meeting and nobody takes it personally.
> I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out, but you may be healthier for it. Studies are starting to show that marriage benefits men while taking a toll on women. Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest


That's an interesting article. Unfortunately I find I'm less healthy on my own - that's part of the reason for my post. Although this week I've been working hard on my nutrition and I've been cooking and eating really well and breaking some bad habits.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

MarmiteC said:


> I did post on a local group last night if anyone would like help with dog walking. I am an animal lover so maybe volunteering could work.


Be careful about any possible liabilities. All the dog walkers around here have dog walker insurance (yeah, that's a thing) to protect against general liability, animal bailee, and their business if applicable. Last thing you want is a dog biting someone, being attacked or hit by a car, etc.


----------



## Jamieboy (Jan 14, 2021)

Hey, I know how tough it when you hold a responsible position in a 24/7 operation. My go to hobby is modern boardgames, there is a group in literally every town in the UK. There are meet ups where people bring games. You play for an evening while chatting and getting to know people. 

I travel for work on occasion and always meet up with the local group wherever I go. It really is a very welcoming hobby and scratches the itch for something cerebral and social


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

MarmiteC said:


> I was thinking about picking up a language again. I grew up in Germany so I was thinking about learning that to fluency. I'd disregarded it as it didn't meet the social aspect, but maybe a class is possible.


Look for a meetup or similar group for your chosen foreign language. I'm in a fairly rural area, but even we have a local group that gets together once or twice a month and does a German-speaking dinner, activity, or get together. Some are native speakers, others are fairly new at the language. But it's a great way to practice your language skills, gain fluency, and have fun with nice people in a language-emersion experience. 

Manning a tandem kayak down a canal with someone you haven't paddled with before, when you can only speak German but are not nearly fluent, is a super entertaining experience!


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

bobert said:


> Be careful about any possible liabilities. All the dog walkers around here have dog walker insurance (yeah, that's a thing) to protect against general liability, animal bailee, and their business if applicable. Last thing you want is a dog biting someone, being attacked or hit by a car, etc.


Valid point. I just want a walk, not a lawsuit 😆


----------



## MarmiteC (Jun 28, 2021)

Rowan said:


> Look for a meetup or similar group for your chosen foreign language. I'm in a fairly rural area, but even we have a local group that gets together once or twice a month and does a German-speaking dinner, activity, or get together. Some are native speakers, others are fairly new at the language. But it's a great way to practice your language skills, gain fluency, and have fun with nice people in a language-emersion experience.
> 
> Manning a tandem kayak down a canal with someone you haven't paddled with before, when you can only speak German but are not nearly fluent, is a super entertaining experience!


Hahahaha, that does sound entertaining. Hopefully, as the UK is finally lifting some of the restrictions these sorts of things will start to be available. Many group meetings haven't been happening as they haven't been allowed in 15 months.


----------



## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Golf, golf, and more golf!! It is a game that you will hate to love, igniting the passion to forever chase the next great shot! I just can't get enough of chasing that little white ball around the course and I'm insane for it.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

MarmiteC said:


> I love music and I used to play the keyboard and piano when I was younger before multiple jobs and studying became my way of life. I could look into that again, thank you


Yes! Get a keyboard and start playing again 😊


----------



## ISeekSolace (Apr 14, 2021)

MarmiteC said:


> That could be interesting. As an Accountant I quite like money 😆


That's perfect and you may love the numbers then 😃 but just start small though until you are fully confident and see some consistent returns. Also bear in mind that reward comes with risk in the market.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

MarmiteC said:


> Unfortunately I am Plant Manager for a 24/7 manufacturing operation. My work can't fit neatly into schedules. This is why I never stuck to things before. I can't simply pick it up later in the evening sadly. So it need to be something flexible.


My suggestion is a hobby that you can do anytime of day or night and at a moment's notice. Walking would fit, running would fit, dumb bells would work, as would aerobics.

What helped me was being able to go to a gym (pre-Covid and now they are opening again) before work. The best work exercise situation I had was when the gym was in the basement of the building I worked in. The only equipment it had were step aerobic boxes and some elastic stretching straps, so the set up cost was very low. We also hired a professional fitness instructor to lead the class. If I had to prep for a meeting, I could skip a day or two. What really helped was getting involved in a group step aerobics class, as It felt like I was part of a social group. At a local city festival, they had a dance competition and as a group we entered and did our step aerobics without the boxes to step on, as a synchronized dance group. We didn't win, but we did place to everyone's pride and amusement.

Not sure about your company, but if you are a Plant Manager, could you speak to your Plan HR person and ask them about starting some kind of daily group exercise class in say a break room or conference room? Most companies understand that adding exercise associated with work can improve both health and morale and lower medical insurance and sick leave costs. As a Plant Manager you could both help yourself and you could inspire your employees by leading through example. That pressure of leading through example could help you stick to the exercise program.

If it scares you that you might get trapped. Make sure that it is a pilot program or experiment for a fixed term (say 3 months, 6 months or a year) and have HR do survey's during the pilot program to measure opinions as well as collecting data on participants job performance and absenteeism. Have them evaluate it to see if it is a positive thing or not. Make it clear that you will be the sponsor only for the initial period of the program and that someone else from the firm will need to become the sponsor or host of the program for future periods. That way you can exit if you don't like it. Tai Chi could be another healthy alternative. Maybe get HR to come up with a list of things that people might want to try.

The point is find something for yourself. Other people you know probably feel the same. If you are in a position of authority try to figure out a way to help others who might be in a similar situation.

If your company is not into it or you aren't, then figure out something that maybe you or your friends might enjoy. One thing that my wife and I enjoy is going out once a week to do wine tasting limiting ourselves to just say 4 or 5 small glasses of wine. If you get say 6 friends then you probably have enough to open 4 to 5 bottles at the same time and sample each. If there are any open bottles left over, then allow people to take one home with them. Each week, like a book club have a selected theme. Say one week have someone select 4 or 5 90+ point Merlot wines, then the next week say Cab-Franc, then Pinot Noir, then Malbec, then....... Make sure everyone takes notes and declare the first and second place wines by popularity at each tasting. Then after a few months, create a couple "best of" tastings where you compare the most popular of different types of wines against each other. Again have everyone record their preferences. It is actually a lot of fun. My wife has found that her taste for wine has evolved over the past couple of years and she now likes some wines she use to hate (Syrah). Of course she says her tastes haven't changed, it is just that we have found wine makers who do a better job with that type of grape.

Good luck.


----------



## Theborg (Apr 13, 2021)

MarmiteC said:


> I love music and I used to play the keyboard and piano when I was younger before multiple jobs and studying became my way of life. I could look into that again, thank you


I think looking back to childhood interests can be a way to spark adult hobbies. Think of the things that made you happy as a child and try to find a way to translate that into your current life. I loved rocks as a child. As an adult, I find it fascinating to go to rock/mineral/gem shows, and a simple comment to another rock hound can start some casual friendships of like-minded souls. Or it could be translated into collecting gemstones or making jewelry. The world is full of interesting things! And the more interests one has, the more interesting one is.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Photopgraphy


----------



## Ladyrare (Aug 30, 2021)

Well then, try to engage yourself in new experiences, something that you've never done before. I believe, learning something new can be an antidote to your problem.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

MarmiteC said:


> Hi,
> 
> I don't really have any hobbies. In my 20's I worked 1 FT and 2x PT jobs and I was studying to become an accountant - there wasn't really time for any hobbies.
> In my 30's, I was promoted to a demanding job. I also got married. Every time I tried to take up a hobby, I failed as there would be some work reason I couldn't attend scheduled classes. When I did have free time, I'd usually spend it socialising. In the absence of anything else, I'd open a bottle of wine and sit and chat. This became too frequent
> ...


I love jigsaw puzzles. 
You can take as long as you want to do them and you can fit them into your schedule anytime you want.
However, since you're a social person, might I suggest an evening class of interest? They are often free or for very low cost.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> Strength training will help you retain your muscles (and shape) as you age, takes very little equipment, and very little time. Starting Strength (Rippetoe) is good book to tell you all the details. The beginning program is 3 days per week. It’s motivating to keep adding weight to the bar.


this makes sense. 
lifting weights is not all that aerobic intensive.

on opening a bottle of wine every night? that is a lot of wine. 
how about getting a box of wine, and only having a small glass at night?


----------

