# Has anyone ever reconciled after the other person decided to leave ?



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

My previous thread basically spoke about my situation. 

The therapist has mentioned to me and my wife who had a PA. That those types of relationships usually burn out fast or don't last long after the excitement of sneaking around is gone. Of course there is always a chance that they are together forever. 

Her story is he has nothing to do with it and just does not love me anymore. But the literally 30 to 40 phone calls each day tell me different. 

The sad truth is my love for my wife transcends this problem. 

I clearly understand I need to let her go and I am doing that. If all goes as planned the total time between meeting the lawyer and drawing up the papers for the divorce will be 3 weeks ( which is this week ). 

She will then move out into her own apartment with the kids and have to find more work as she only works 3 days a week for 5 hours a day atm assuming her schedule does not fall apart. I am giving her 45k from my deferred comp that I am sure she will use to float herself until she gets more hours to work and to buy some furniture.

The good thing as I see it is she will now have to bust her ass to work and take care of the kids which will make her tired pretty fast. Nutshell what she wasn't doing at home she will now be force to do to survive. 

I am just wondering if other people here had similar issues that their ex regretted later on ?

how long was it ?
Did you reconcile ? 
Did you have someone else already ?

Right now because I am emotional ( though I don't show her ) my deepest feelings are that I hope she goes out there and busts her ass and realizes WTF am I doing and asks to come back to fix our issues and move on with our lives as a family. 

I am reluctantly not waiting around either. Instead I am looking to take care of myself and just use the chance of this force weight loss to better myself.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

My story is similar to yours. At the time I was going through my WW A, I did not know about this site. I did a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong.

She actually now has to work... She doesn't have a full time job. I keep telling her its child support not M---- support but that will hit her soon enough.

My EX never respected any of the things that I did. How could she admit she was wrong? Who could she face what she did to our family? If she admitted that my hard work was something and that I could possibly be right she would have to look at herself and see that maybe she might have been wrong.

It did not work out for me and my EX. I am actually glad because I do NOT want to be with who she is. I wish you the best, but don't think for one minute your WW will look her life now and gain some newfound respect for you. It may happen but don't try and be logical. There is nothing logical about D, it's really a lot of emotions and trust.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Sadly that is what I expected, but I am having a hard time handling the truth atm..

I'm just so pissed that someone does this ****. 

When we told the kids, they cried. Once they calmed down I told her in private that is why she needed to tell me that there was problem. That this **** is bigger then me and her. 

I called her a coward for not saying anything and running away with the first person that gave her the time a day.. 

I wish I could just sleep and wake up a year from now to get this past me


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

My guess is that if you go as far as divorce, she moves out and you move on, if and when the time she comes back around you will realize you dont want or need her in your life anymore.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This story is happening now, but I think it's unusual:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/61712-could-you-reconcile.html


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

She already showed pride and cowardice. She won't go back even if this affair implode.
Don't volunteer to be a slave of false hope. Move on.
If she's going to come "to her senses" it will happen without your input. 
Hopely you will be already detached and happy to start a new life with someone deserving of your love.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

I think Acabado is completely right. The "NEW WIFE" is a Coward. You do not have to be her doormat in the future just so you can have the safe marrige that you did not have before. Let her go and start a new chapter in your life.


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