# Clothes don't make the man. So what makes us the man?



## Edvardas (Mar 13, 2021)

I am looking for a women's opinion. If we take out physical attraction: youth, good shape, strength, piercing blue eyes, clothes, hairstyles, scent. What character traits make us man? What makes us attractive to you?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Since you didn’t say anything about wallet I’m going to go with that one 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Fidelity, fidelity, fidelity, confidence, kindness to others, positive attitude, and honesty. But god help them if they are a picky eater because I love to cook


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Edvardas said:


> I am looking for a women's opinion. If we take out physical attraction: youth, good shape, strength, piercing blue eyes, clothes, hairstyles, scent. What character traits make us man? What makes us attractive to you?


I'm not a woman, but I happen to know the ability to quote sports statistics gets them all dreamy.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm just old fashioned, but I'm going with penis.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)




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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

As a man I say honor. And I say that is more important then anything you listed because it says it all.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

As a woman I will say the whole package just somehow works and it’s like a patchwork quilt, it’ll be different with each man but the result is a sort of magnetism. You can take one man and ten women and just one woman will see the magnetism.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Confidence, being capable and responsible and self-sufficient. Bonus points include being handy. Bonus points for me include being creative and having a dream you're working at.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

sokillme said:


> As a man I say honor. And I say that is more important then anything you listed because it says it all.


That’s what men value, and as a man judging men I agree. While many women may value honor as well, not in the same way.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

DudeInProgress said:


> That’s what men value, and as a man judging men I agree. While many women may value honor as well, not in the same way.


This may be true but if women value it or not doesn't matter.


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## Edvardas (Mar 13, 2021)

Mr.Married said:


> Since you didn’t say anything about wallet I’m going to go with that one 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Some women would agree with you, as it could be their sense of security.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Edvardas said:


> Some women would agree with you, as it could be their sense of security.


But not genuine attraction. Most men whose wallet was a primary factor in their wives decision to marry them end up used and dumped sooner or later.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

For me, it's emotional stability. Calm, collected, at peace, not given to temper tantrums or angry outbursts.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

sokillme said:


> This may be true but if women value it or not doesn't matter.


Agreed, except this is a thread about what is attractive to women. Not what men respect in other men.


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## Edvardas (Mar 13, 2021)

Lila said:


> For me, it's emotional stability. Calm, collected, at peace, not given to temper tantrums or angry outbursts.


what about Italian guys who show their emotion openly?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

DudeInProgress said:


> Agreed, except this is a thread about what is attractive to women. Not what men respect in other men.


So in my mind "what makes us men" as immaterial to attraction. It's my belief that to women "men" are inherently attractive. In the same way "femininity" is attractive to men. I also believe if you live your life with honor you will be attractive to the type of women you want, assuming you take care of your self physically and learn to be emotionally intelligent (also important, but to me that falls into the honor category anyway). Thing is even if you are not that is besides the point because your motivation and your self respect comes from your honor anyway.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Lila said:


> For me, it's emotional stability. Calm, collected, at peace, not given to temper tantrums or angry outbursts.


Do you have experience with someone who is like that? My step father was like this so it really soured me on it.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Also good taste in music - lets not forget about that!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

For me its integrity and strength. Not physical strength, but strength in that he projects a sense that he will be my rock, take care of me.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Edvardas said:


> what about Italian guys who show their emotion openly?


Not all Italian men are like that.

My wife is Italian, and almost all of her relatives live in Italy, mostly in Sicily. Of which plenty of her male relatives, aren’t emotionally open or particularly effusive either.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Personal said:


> Not all Italian men are like that.
> 
> My wife is Italian, and almost all of her relatives live in Italy, mostly in Sicily. Of which plenty of her male relatives, aren’t emotionally open or particularly effusive either.


Um, it was just a lighthearted generalization to illustrate a concept. I think everyone knows that not all Italian men are emotionally expressive…


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Attitude/swagger and confidence......but not too much to go into the d-bag territory........that and a love/appreciation for animals and nature and a big..er..,heart....

Interesting that DTR mentioned being handy as turn on...I am one of the most handy and versatile of any guy you would meet...I can fix or fabricate _anything_...own all sorts of trucks, tools and equipment to build, move, repair, just about anything anyone can think of....Plumbing, electrical, masonry, carpentry, cars, trucks, boats, etc...No problem....It was something I always just did and never thought about it from the standpoint of it becoming an asset to a partner...The way I saw it, I just could never bring myself to pay people for tasks that I could easily do better than most of them can..And I enjoy doing it...Once you reach this point it's so liberating...I recently repaired my dryer for less than 2 bucks in parts and less than an hour of my time.. You are never stuck or at the mercy of someone else..I think that's why a lot of women value this stuff in guys....it takes away that vulnerability some women feel when it comes to a lot of these daily essentials.....

That being said, I think the younger generations of women probably don't care...I don't think they value those type of skills in guys anymore...and most younger guys have no interest in learning or doing it anyway..


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> That being said, I think the younger generations of women probably don't care...I don't think they value those type of skills in guys anymore...and most younger guys have no interest in learning or doing it anyway..


The younger generations figure out how useful that stuff is when they have been out on their own long enough. Typical American way of thinking these days is to just pay everyone a crazy amount of money to do small tasks for you and then complain you have no money.


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## hillybilly2785 (Dec 29, 2019)

So, I guess this question is quite subjective-
For me, the thing I found most attractive about my husband from the get go, was that I felt safe. A safeness that was emotionally, romantically, physically- I never had to doubt his word. I never felt afraid to let him know me. I never have to question or wonder with him.
He also has a confidence that’s masculine but not macho if that makes sense. He doesn’t feel a need to present some kind of image. He’s not afraid to be emotional when the situation is appropriate. I am attracted to his authenticity.
Hopefully this is somewhat of an answer you were looking for!


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