# Got hit twice



## justcomplicated (Sep 23, 2014)

Hi, here is my story...

I have been married for 6 years, known her for 12 years, she had an affair for 5 years, I found out she broke it off ... We spoke and she said she was sorry and would not happen again, then within 3 months, she started having another affair and I found out in 7 months .... In the mean time, I have been lonely for a while now and for in touch with a friend overseas and had an emotional affair with her for 5 months  which is non existent now

We also have a 3 year old child

I have proposed a separation now, she does not think it's necessary but trust is a major issue for me, the affairs she had involved me as these men befriended me and used me

I have lots to deal with as the impact is profound

Our daughter is so beautiful and lives mom n dad, I think separation is the best course of action so as to minimise impact on my daughter and start the healing process for myself, I think it will take me a while to heal from all this

My concern is impacts on my daughter re separation and how people have dealt with this

Your thoughts?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Separation won't mean ****, it just makes it easier for her to continue the affair and it lessons the guilt for her.

Go for the divorce....you can always withdraw it if she wants to stop phucking around.

What great about separation for your wife is if this new boyfriend doesn't work out she still has you as her plan B.

She doesn't respect you now, but she will when you stop taking her shyt!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I agree with theguy. You have been married for 6 years and she has been fvcking the POS for 5 years - he is the one she is in a relationship with and you are the other man in this case! 

Also are you sure the daughter is yours ? Have you had her DNA tested ? Even if you are sure, I would have her DNA tested just to show your "wife" how little you think of her.

As theguy says, go straight to divorce and don't look back. She clearly doesn't love or respect you - you are Plan B at best and just a meal ticket and provider to her.

Not sure how old the two of you are and the POSOM too for that matter, but leave now while you have a chance at finding someone who could give you the love and respect you are looking for.

How did she meet the POSOM ? What do you mean by these men befriended and used you ? How many have there been ? Have you exposed these affairs ? To the other halves of the POS men and to friends, family, work ?

How did you catch them each time ? Have you secured the evidence? Start lawyering up, protect your finances, assets and even custody rights (if in fact the daughter is yours). File for D and have her served and expose without warning her that you are going to do this.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

She's serial cheater. Not worth the continued heartache and need to police. I agree with The GUY and would skip the separation and go directly to filing D. I also agree with Manfromlamancha that you should DNA your kid. This type of woman would have no qualms about having you raise another mans kid. Main thing is that you need to detach. Look up the 180 and implement it. 

Also work on yourself. You sound like a man with low self worth. To have been cheated on twice in such a short marriage tells me you must give off a weak nice guy vibe. Woman can't love or respect a weak man. You need to work on that or you may end up attracting another cheater in the future.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Damn friend,but there is no hope for you or your wife.

She is serial cheater,she is going from one man to the another.
You are only pay check for her.

Divorce her,you will earn some respect for you and yor daughter


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Your daughter will survive the divorce, if you provide a stable healthy environment for her. Mine are much happier than they were during the last five years of my marriage. I'm sorry your W turned out to be a serial cheater. Her saying "sorry" is utterly meaningless.

Could I suggest you go see an attorney to get some idea of the financial impact a divorce would have on you. And go to the MD to get checked out for STD.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Cant add anything else, except ask if you have filed already? If you havent. Do it.


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## justcomplicated (Sep 23, 2014)

Thank you all

I am stronger now that this is the second time

I am going to start working with a lawyer asap

Love coming here as I get the blunt truth from this forum, gives me strength

Thank you once again


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

It will hurt to get a divorce, but I agree that this is the only option. I would get with my lawyer before letting her ever know you want one, and get some legal advice. Preferably pertaining to evidence of adultery, as that may affect your case, and if she knows you're on to her and wanting a divorce, it will be harder to obtain.
She will cheat again, sorry is no good.
SHe's PROVEN she will do it again. I know how hard it is, but I promise it will get better and you will regret not doing it sooner in a couple of years or less most likely.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

justcomplicated said:


> Hi, here is my story...
> 
> I have been married for 6 years, known her for 12 years, she had an affair for 5 years, I found out she broke it off ... We spoke and she said she was sorry and would not happen again, then within 3 months, she started having another affair and I found out in 7 months .... In the mean time, I have been lonely for a while now and for in touch with a friend overseas and had an emotional affair with her for 5 months  which is non existent now
> 
> ...


To Hell w/ separation. DNA the kid and file for divorce.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

So you want to hang around while you WW sleeps with other guys and you get all the responsibility?
D her now! You still have rights to the child.


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