# My Heart Skip a Beat!



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Well it has been 5mths since I found out that my hubby had an EA. Everyday it seems like I can hear his voice tell me that he had been talking to the OW. Some days or better than others. Yesterday I was sitting in the hospital waiting on him to join me and when I saw him walk through the front lobby my heart skipped a beat like it use to when I saw him for a moment I was so proud to have him as my hubby. Then later on it hit me this men that I felt so much love and proud for it the same man that looked my in the eyes and lied to me for mths how do you regain that trust back where you don't always feel that hurt that he could lie to me. I am so scared to trust him again that he will feel like it's ok to cheat I got away with it the first time. He still doesn't think that having her as a friend and talking to her everyday was cheating he told me he thought cheating was when you had sex with someone else and i try to remember that he was shelter all his life and is not as educated as I am maybe in his mind having single female friends is not a problem he says he doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings. Some days I wonder if I made the best choose for myself. I love him with all my heart just wished I knew for a fact he loved me that much.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Ask him honey. Ask him to tell you why and how much he loves you. And return the favor. Write letters back and forth. Of course the pain of the affair is still there, but your heart skipped a beat too! For that moment you could forget about everything else! This is a good sign!!


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## Alexandra (Jan 9, 2010)

Bask in that feeling for sure! That's a confirmation that the spark is still there, so fan it into flame.

Trusting him takes a conscious choice to do so. Tell yourself that you WILL trust him, that he WON'T do it again. Make the decision that you are going to believe in him, despite the pain. 

It sounds like you felt the EA was more serious than he did. Does he know the extent of how you felt? Have you cleared up any necessary boundaries for the future?


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Hubby doesn't thing his EA was a big deal he just see it as talking with a closwe friend and if it was a male I wouldn't have said anything. I tried to deal him she was trying to come between us that he just couldn't see it. The closer he became with her the less time he had to work on our marriage which made me fuss more which made him withdraw more. I love him and want to beleive him When I ask anything about that time he just says it's a big mistake he will have to live with and please drop it and move on with our marriage and we have been doing great am guess am just waiting on the other shoe to drop. Maybe it never will but who knows


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## furiouskitten (Jan 17, 2010)

You have already taken a huge step and felt the effect. You gave him your full trust the moment you choice to stay. That is a really big deal. Now you've started to feel the sparks flying again, bravo. You are on the right path. Now forgive and forget. No remorse, no regret, no blame! Focus on the marriage you have and work hard to maintain it! No nit picking and no discussing the affair. Talk about your future, your plans together, and fight for your man!

Be the woman he can not live with out! Ready repeat after me. "I will forgive and forget, because I am the woman he can not live without"! Now do it! Best of luck.


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

I sure wish I could do what furious and alexandra have said. I too have felt the sparks - and when I do I try do bask in it. BUT inevitably I always get the 'reminder pang' at some point soon after. I think its just nature's instinct. Probably from thousands of years of evolution telling us to be cautious. Doesn't mean we shouldn't accept the love - and shouldn't give it. I've been burned twice by my H's long term betrayals. Its not easy and I hope I never have to experience it again. Will I ever be able to absolutely 100% ALLOW myself to say I believe it - well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. BUT the good is GOOD. Do bask. And do things to allow him to bask in YOUR GLOW too. Good luck.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

What does a EA consist of in your book? My wife is a professional and works in a male dominated field, so lots of dinners, meetings are with dudes, coworkers dudes, contacts mostly dudes, if one calls so what? She tells many of them much of our "business" so what she is married to me, she comes home to me, sleeps with me, makes love to me, trips with me, give me cards, loves me, sacrifices for me, talks about them to me, we dream, plan, live, love each other, I could careless if she talks to some coworker about how "I didn't do something 1 time or how she's overwhelmed at work", so what are we talking about?

Now, if he is routinely spending 1hr a day, dinner weekly, things that looked more like courting than a friendship I could see the heartache or the issue like what are doing, really? We're human we interact, so could you please explain what a EA is to you or how your husband committed one?

Thanks!!


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

The EA that my hubby had was more like he had a girlfriend. The OW had been friends with him for 4yrs and I knew that they talked and saw each other every once in awhile at the track. When he started hiding the fact he was talking to her and their phone calls went from once a mth to everyday 10-15 time a day and she was making sure she was with him every week at the track is when I had the problem. We were fighting more and instead of him coming to me and talking he was going to her which lead to us not getting along more because she ws filling his head that I was not the right women for him. So it was more than just a talk every once in awhile.


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