# new to me



## quigley61 (Jan 14, 2013)

I've recently started dating a man, who has only been divorced for 3 months. He was married for 26 yrs, and his wife asked for the divorce. This took him by surprise, but he was busy with his business and missed the cues that apparently things were going south with the marriage.
We have been dating a couple times a week since November. We have a lot of fun on the dates,,,,movies, dinners, theatre, symphony etc. 
We have taken it to the next level as far as fairly passionate make out sessions, but when it comes to the actual act, he is unable to get or maintain an erection. 
This has happened about 4 times now,,,and it is becoming frustrating for him and me.
Now, I think he has become so worried that he won't be able to perform, that it's doomed before we get started.
I think most of the problem is that I am the first person he has been with outside of his wife, in 26 yrs,,,and he feels like he is cheating , even though he is divorced.
He says that he is able to masturbate successfully, so there doesn't seem to be any physical problem.

Not sure what to do. Leave sex out of the scene for a while and see what happens?? 
Suggestions?


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## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

Sounds like he's not emotionally in a good place to be in a relationship. 3 months is not long to heal.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

happysnappy said:


> Sounds like he's not emotionally in a good place to be in a relationship. 3 months is not long to heal.


Could be, HS.

I would have gotten some blue pills by now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Has he discussed what the sex life was like in his marriage for the last few years?

He's only been divorced for 3 months. How long did it take between the time she said she wanted a divorced and the divorce was final? Sometimes this can take a 1,2, 3 years.

Basically how long has it been since he had regular sex with a woman?


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## quigley61 (Jan 14, 2013)

He has had sex within the last year, but that was with his ex. She allowed sex, just didn't participate. 
I was thinking also that maybe a little help from the blue pill might get him over this road block


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

quigley61 said:


> He has had sex within the last year, but that was with his ex. She allowed sex, just didn't participate.
> I was thinking also that maybe a little help from the blue pill might get him over this road block


What is his age?


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## quigley61 (Jan 14, 2013)

He's 53


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I think its a pressure thing and being with a new woman,so how about how about just having 30 minutes or more of no pressure getting to know him play,have him lay down nude you keep your underwear on and just let him know there is no pressure for intercourse and yoiu have planty of time,you have the lube and pleausre him[HJ/BJ /toys] and see what gets him to rise to attention without taking him over the top so maybe do it for awhile then stop.Before you start with him he can get you off orally so that will not be on his mind. 

You also said he can get himself off so how about wrapping your hand around his when he is doing himself and when get hard go for the intercourse.


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## quigley61 (Jan 14, 2013)

thanks , that's very good advice. I thought about that too. Let it be all about him,,,,,,take the pressure of the actual intercourse.
This is all new to me, because my last boyfriend, I had to keep him at arms length sometimes, or else we would have ended up in the bedroom, 25 times per day.....lol.
I really appreciate all the answers supplied here.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Coming out of a long haul marriage at 53 is going to take its toll, IMO, as there are going to be quite a few factors at play.

If I were you I'd take it really slowly with him. Lots of naked cuddling and touching, but no pressure for intercourse. Let him know that you understand that he's had a lot of pressure and stress and that there's no hurry.

As time goes by he might consider Viagra, but right now I'd let things progress as slowly and as naturally as possible.


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## quigley61 (Jan 14, 2013)

Thank you all
I'm not ready to give this guy up, even though I could be the historical rebound girl.
I think I will reassure him that for now we will just shelve the sexual aspect and just enjoy one another


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

now we will just shelve the sexual aspect-Don't do that because that will just get to his confidence even more.I am telling you work with him to get through it.If he feeels he is ready to date go with him not people on here.


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