# Should I hang in there???



## cmb (Jun 5, 2008)

I am new here and need some advice. 

My husband and I have been married just short of two years and are 7 months pregnant with our first child together. In the past we have dealt with issues with his ex regarding child support and I have taken a lot of the brunt of this. He has always paid her a substantial amount of money, but not state mandated. Everytime something happens (like him losing a job or making less) and we can't pay her as much as we generally do, I feel that she takes it takes out on me. Just recently we tried to make an agreement with her to pay her less and she flipped. Everytime something like this happens I end up receiving nasty e-mails from her, however, I sometimes probably bring it out alittle by trying to stand up for my husband but am in no way mean about it. Now she is taking us to court, which is fine as I would rather this be done before my baby arrives.

On top of that, my husband had been talking to her behind my back while at work and I found out via our phone bill. I did my research and found out that they had been talking while the kids where at school for long periods. I had asked him randomly if they did talk and always got a No. Come to find out they had been talking about how off the wall I have been since I've been pregnant and some other issues that make me look bad.

I feel like there is no trust left and even though I am willing to hang in there to mend I'm not sure that he will completely stop. Also putting my child and my pregnancy through the stress of a nasty court case isn't on the top of my list. I'm really not sure what to do here and wonder if I should hang in there and just back away from the child support situation and try to regain trust for my husband.


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## happilymarried67 (May 7, 2008)

First, you need to let your husband address his ex and remove you from that situation. Don't start the pattern of her going through you to him. I removed myself from that situation a long time ago. Secondly, your husband needs to file the appropriate paperwork for the appropriate amount of child support in the court district where his child resides, so their is no question of the amount he owes on a monthly basis. If he changes jobs he needs to be able to change the amount owed to his ex. You need to make it legal so there is no question of the amount. You do not need a lawyer to do this and I suggest checking out Divorce Source: Online Divorce Support Forum Community to get you started.

Him talking about you to his ex, needs to stop. It is just weird. Sounds like he isn't even over the first marriage. My husband does the least amount of talking to his ex. His relationship is over and done a long, long time ago.


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