# Would you divorce if...



## catsy101 (Aug 3, 2010)

The man wants a vasectomy and you want another baby AND

The man wants to live where you now live and you want to move much closer to your parents?


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

honestly, no. And I say that being the one who doesn't want another child and my husband does, but he's supportive of my decision. We keep an open line of communication open about it. He's even open to possibly adopting. And we live far away from both our parents.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

I think you should discuss the having another baby and come to a mutual decision. However you sound a little controlling and a my way or the highway to me. Why should he want to start over to live closer to your parents?


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

Honestly after reading through a lot of your other threads I can only say catsy I feel you and the hubby need counseling. Even if your hubby doesn't go, go yourself. You have a lot of pent up anger due to your feelings about his parents (may be right, may be wrong). Your getting extremely passive/aggressive with him and you may be making things worse in your mind then they actually are...


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Catsy - I read one of your other posts on the board but didn't respond.

It is his right to get the Vasectomy. I believe you said you had 3 children (all boys) already. If you only had one child and had agreed before marriage to have at least two, then I could see why you are upset. Just remember that some people are unable to have even one healthy child.

As for living near your parents - I guess I would say that the status quo would be the starting point for that conversation. YOU are the one requesting that things be changed. If moving away from home was too much for you, this should have been addressed before you moved. At this point, you are asking him to quit his job and relocate to be closer to your family at a time when you don't sound incredibly supportive of him.

Maybe a trip home for a week or two would do you some good.

Good luck.


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## tucdoc (Jul 29, 2010)

The decisions should be agreeable to both of you. A mediator (counselor) is probably a good idea so that both of you could discuss your issues more objectively in front of a third person. My having had a vasectomy 10 years ago is on the litany of complaints my wife has toward me now. She wanted a third child, I was happy with our healthy son and daughter, and she was already 35 at the time. It will come back to haunt the marriage without a mutually agreeable decision.

I also moved us out of state when we married, which was very difficult for my wife as she was close to her family. I often wondered if her episodes of sadness during the early part of the marriage was homesickness, but I didn't pursue it because I didn't want to move back. I suspect that I started to become insensitive to her for fear of bringing up the issue of moving back to So. Cal., for which I am now paying the price. If you don't both agree on the decision then the pent-up resentment will build and eventually explode.


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