# new here!!! help



## rn23 (Aug 16, 2011)

married for 12 years - have 2 kids. husband hasnt worked in over 3 years. Says he's going to hit it big off sales. Finally had it- mother, provider, scheduler, etc... Husband is good to his kids but just deadbeat of a husband. Drinks, smokes pot, takes prescription narcotics. Now divorcing- he wants 50/50 will get child support and alimony and I will continue to work to support him. Oldest child is lashing out angry. He' salways been responsible- good kid. But now he's angry, almost violent. What to do - go back to a hell of a marriage or move forward?????


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

rn23 said:


> married for 12 years - have 2 kids. husband hasnt worked in over 3 years. Says he's going to hit it big off sales. Finally had it- mother, provider, scheduler, etc... Husband is good to his kids but just deadbeat of a husband. Drinks, smokes pot, takes prescription narcotics. Now divorcing- he wants 50/50 will get child support and alimony and I will continue to work to support him. Oldest child is lashing out angry. He' salways been responsible- good kid. But now he's angry, almost violent. What to do - go back to a hell of a marriage or move forward?????


Sorry you are here 

It sounds like you have had enough. Before you kick it all in though have you considered MC? There _may_ be issues that can be resolved there. 
I am not saying NOT Divorce him but you married him because you loved him. I wonder what happened. 
Being jobless for a man can be horribly dis empowering and directly affects his feeling of self worth. 
The drinking,pot smoking [BORING] and narcotics are a serious health issue.

Can I ask.
Have you met someone else?


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

I agree that you should seek counseling. If nothing else your son needs counseling. I would definitely give him the chance to turn things around but also keep yourself open. Additionally, consider your son's mental health. That said, also be careful. If he insists on doing drugs and you can prove that he won't get custody and therefore no child support. It's unlikely he would either way. You might have to pay some support, though.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

rn23 said:


> Oldest child is lashing out angry. He' salways been responsible- good kid. But now he's angry, almost violent.


How old is he? "Helping Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way" has helped me to help my kids (ages 8, 9, and 11).


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