# Has anyone had a fwb relationship w their separated spouse?



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

My husband and I that I am separated from decided to build a F$$$ buddy relationship. Has anyone else done this and it ended starting a new relationship to grow with? 
We are friends, still care about each other, still attracted to each other, can conversate like friends. 
Sexual satisfaction is something we lost along the way in our marriage. The focus was on all the wrong things and we are learning about those mistakes in marriage counseling. Sex ended up being a chore, when we were trying to conceive. But now neither of us wants kids so that has put an end to that feeling.
So I'm curious how did it turn out?


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

I guess you will have to tell us how it ends


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## numb2012 (May 27, 2012)

I also wonder about this?


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I feel for him it will end in a BANG.. LOL


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It worked great...for a while...until she started feeling like she was cheating on the guy she was cheating on me with that I had no idea she was cheating on me with...


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## Jojara (Aug 1, 2012)

I say set up clear ground rules and go for it! As long as you are both on the same page about what you are doing and where you are going. The problem with FWB's is that one person or another has an 'agenda' that the other doesn't know about. Be careful!!


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

You guys got kids?


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## numb2012 (May 27, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> It worked great...for a while...until she started feeling like she was cheating on the guy she was cheating on me with that I had no idea she was cheating on me with...


Sam did u know about the OM?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

numb2012 said:


> Sam did u know about the OM?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nope, but I did know him, he was my sons teacher. Just didn't know he was with my wife until we had been seperated for three months. She didn't tell me about him until after she had ended the fwb because she felt awkward about it...you know...cheating on the guy you were cheating on your husband with, wtih your husband...


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## numb2012 (May 27, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Nope, but I did know him, he was my sons teacher. Just didn't know he was with my wife until we had been seperated for three months. She didn't tell me about him until after she had ended the fwb because she felt awkward about it...you know...cheating on the guy you were cheating on your husband with, wtih your husband...


What a mess, I'm sorry
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turkish (Jun 24, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Nope, but I did know him, he was my sons teacher. Just didn't know he was with my wife until we had been seperated for three months. She didn't tell me about him until after she had ended the fwb because she felt awkward about it...you know...cheating on the guy you were cheating on your husband with, wtih your husband...


That is ummmm... Epic. But in a oh so wrong way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Nope no kids. We r both just looking to have fun. And ive thought about one of us having an agenda, but I realized that the wires that can happen is one of us leaving the fwb relationship or we could find a spark that has been missing for quite some time and stay together in a new relationship. But again we just want to have fun I'm actually excited about it I would love to have some great sex. We have realized that we will have to be open and honest about our feelings though if one of us realizes this is a mistake or we are getting other feelings like falling in love or emotional about it or find that we're interested in someone else that we will have to let the other person know to determine what will happen.
@ upnover- no we don't have kids, previously one of the focuses was to have a kids, but I have now realized that I strayed to wanting that because of other people and that we should have stuck to the original plan which is no kids.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

FWB?


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

friends with benefits...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Sadwithtwolittlegirls said:


> FWB?


Friends with benefits

Fvck buiddies


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I'm not a fan of that because I get attached to a person after sex..

Back in my teen that wasn't the issue, but now I don't think I could do it.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Did it with my ex for a little while when we were separated... didn't go so well, just hurt me, kept me more attached


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Lostwouthim said:


> My husband and I that I am separated from decided to build a F$$$ buddy relationship. *Has anyone else done this and it ended starting a new relationship to grow with? *
> We are friends, still care about each other, still attracted to each other, can conversate like friends.
> Sexual satisfaction is something we lost along the way in our marriage. The focus was on all the wrong things and we are learning about those mistakes in marriage counseling. Sex ended up being a chore, when we were trying to conceive. But now neither of us wants kids so that has put an end to that feeling.
> So I'm curious how did it turn out?


This statement points out that you might be into this for different reasons than him. I would advise against. I am betting you would get your heart broke again.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

That's what I thought would happen. I would want her to stay afterwards and never leave.


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## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

No, I've thought of that. I don't have ulterior motives, just want to have fun , but I'd rather do this with the guy that knows me. 
I was saying though we are really early into this whole thing, who knows what's gonna happen? Can't really plan life out though, I just want to go with the flow, and we both are into it. If emotions get involved that's a bridge we will have to cross.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

What happens if there ends up with a pregnancy.. What happens if he brings something home to you because you are not the only tail he's getting?

Do you want to do this for lust, or comfort?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I guess what't the worst that could happen, one of you hurts the other and the relationship ends? Well it's ended already I guess.

That is the only one reason I could see why this could work, it eliminates a couple risks that could only be eliminated with such a realtionship. However it of course introduces new risks that could only exist in such a relationship too.

for me I could never even comprehend this, otherwise why be separated in the first place? Is it just simply that you are bad room-mates but still have the chemistry, compatibility and love? If so maybe you just both want a casual relationship and neither really wants to be married or know that the other would be in your life always.

I couldn't do it though, I'm too loyal and require more committment because I know that I attach too easily when I'm getting sex. Knowing that my FWB partner has another life, and could be having multiple partners without me having a way to know would always be in the back of my mind, probably why I'm a little risk-averse.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The most likely drawback would be a delay of the healing and "moving on" process, as well as a risk of animosity and hard feelings if things blow up. It might be the difference between an amicable separation/divorce and a legal battle. Why not start moving on, and start a new relationship?

My GF and I met online, both seeking an NSA relationship after exiting sexless marriages. We were both upfront about our desires to be NSA, but that went out the window fairly early as the connections happened. We've been together now for over 18 months, and it feels like the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. 

Just my $0.02. I see risks with few benefits compared to starting fresh. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

NSA?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Sadwithtwolittlegirls said:


> NSA?


Get with the teens! . No Strings Attached. Not necessarily even friends that get together to fvck. Although we expected some kind of friendship as we got to know each other, neither of us wanted a completely emotional less relationship. But the option to see other people, and the option to cut things off guilt-free if we wanted was discussed.

C


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