# I think i broke my husband



## CL4696 (Mar 21, 2015)

We've been married 8 years. It's been rocky from the start. Always trust issues and selfishness on both parts. We've been seperated for 1 week. I've threatened seperation if he didn't try to compromise with me in every a few aspects of our lives. He's narcissistic, spoiled and just use to getting his way. I've catered to that to keep the peace. So when I told him to go to his mom's and told him what i was wanting to accomplish he just couldn't handle it. It's been a week and i woke up this morning to him standing over me in bed. He told me not to call or text for any reason and he was going to be mia. Meaning he quit his job. I don't understand. I was a oilfield wife, I went for weeks by myself just taking care of kid . And one week...He just can't do it.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Well at least now you know.


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## CL4696 (Mar 21, 2015)

Lol that's true.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

knowledge is power.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

If he cannot hold it together with a little bit of adversity then you're not losing much. Hold him accountable and responsible for supporting his kid too. Sounds to me like that's something he's setting the stage to avoid doing.


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## CL4696 (Mar 21, 2015)

He's been a great provider until now. He said he lost his motivation. I'm sure he's trying to make me feel bad. And of course I have feelings. But it's so childish. Is there a chart of emotions that someone goes through before they get to acceptance?


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

A narcissist used to getting his way?

I suspect his MIA status will be a manipulation/punishment tactic. If he can't last a week at his mom's, I bet he won't manage two weeks MIA.

If you don't look for him, directly or by asking friends and relatiives,, he'll panic cuz he's losing control of you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CL4696 (Mar 21, 2015)

That's very true. I took control by initiating the seperation so he's trying to control it now. it's freaking working. I'm worried he's spiraling and might do something to himself. He's the father of our 2 kids. They would be devastated. I'm just going to let him be mia. see what happen .


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Has he been diagnosed as narcissist by a psychiatrist? Or are you just saying that you think he is this?

Sounds like he let you know that he's not willing to work on your marriage. Perhaps his quitting is way to punish you in the only way he thinks he can.. financially. And of course he probably thinks that way he will not need to give you any support.

I guess he showed you, didn't he?

So what's you next move?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Are you sure he actually quit his job?

Narcissists love to bluster -- it's just one more way to be the center of attention.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Scotty0310 (Apr 1, 2014)

I don’t think you broke your husband, in fact I think what has happened is something I fear for myself sometimes. His job obviously requires him to be away for periods of time, meaning he doesn’t have the experience to take care of your kids like you do. You get to spend every day with them, he does not and by missing that time, he misses various things like knowing what their routine is, everyday events the kids are used to and what they like to do. I’m in the Military, I’ve actually spent probably more than three years away from my kids, now not all at once but a year here, six months there, a month or two here and there.

When my wife leaves for the weekend and I’m with the kids I worry that I am not doing enough or missing something. My kids are both in school, and since I don’t get to experience this every day, I forget when their PE days are, or when my daughter has her after school gymnastics. It may have nothing to do with his capabilities as a father, but more perhaps lack of experience. Your separation has forced him to suddenly take care of the kids by himself, without help from you or anyone else, this could be a shock to him and he is simply scared.

I actually find it annoying when people say “Man up” and **** like that because very often the case is more of the father working more and doesn’t know his kids routine, and not for lack of trying, but because he is more worried about the household. As I don’t, a lot of fathers tend not to worry too much because they know their wives’ have the kids under control, and we do sometimes take for granted, you will always be there.


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