# I'm screaming silently..."I can't take this!"



## CurlyK (Sep 27, 2013)

I am 33 years old and have been married for 7 years, together for 15. I love my husband but I sure don't like him. We have two beautiful kids and we currently coexist in our house as roommates. We fight constantly about everything. From finances which are dismal to how we raise our kids. Sex is so lack luster that I really am not interested. He is very combative and says that I am always giving him directives rather than working with him. I don't believe that to be true. I've asked him to go to counseling and he believes that I'm the one who needs counseling. I live day to day in this space where I am unhappy but I love my family as a unit. Still I desire to be loved and appreciated and nurtured as I feel a woman should. Help...I spend most of my days secretly screaming..."I can't take this anymore!"


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Sorry to hear this. Being unhappy and stuck... sucks.

_He is very combative and says that I am always giving him directives rather than working with him. I don't believe that to be true. I've asked him to go to counseling and he believes that I'm the one who needs counseling._

May I ask why you believe it's not true that he feels you are giving him directives instead of working with him?

If you are always fighting, you are both probably unhappy. And not working as a team. What other things do you not like about him? What things do you like about him?


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## whispersofme (Sep 18, 2013)

Call his bluff and go to counseling - it can't hurt and it might make him more amicable to attending joint MC. <---that is what I would do. If you show him you are willing to work perhaps that will jump start him into wanting to work on himself and your marriage as well. 

tough situation though...


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## CarefulinNY (Sep 30, 2013)

My wife refused to go to couple's counseling when I suggested it so I went by myself. One of the best decsions I ever made. It helped me take care of myself during a rough time in our marriage. We're much better now and never went to couple's counseling but she has said she would now go if I wanted her to.


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## CurlyK (Sep 27, 2013)

This forum is great. I do like him and am happy at times, but as of late we are just not seeing eye to eye. Me saying that I dont like him is not entirely true. I want to share things with him about my life and feelings, but I am reluctant to share because we are always going through something. 

I may just call his bluff...lol. I actually attempted to contact some marriage counselors through my health insurance, but I just got tons of voice mails and only got through to one actual person. I immediately became apprehensive based on the fact that it was a woman and I am sure my husband would not respect her opinion. 

I've since decided to start working on myself and finding out if I am indeed practicing the best methods to improve my marriage....until this is resolved or I see progress, I'm still screaming.


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

You can do your counselling on here with many who are much better than counsellors you pay for.

We would have to know a lot more about you. Do you work. What exactly does your husband think of you. Does he think you are lazy. Being his mother. He seems to want to work with you and finds it impossible. You just have to try harder to work together.


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