# Advice Please



## reddhead (May 23, 2009)

I have been with my husband for 10 years, 6 of them married. I had a 2 son when we met. My son is mixed, half black and half white. Well lately my husband has begun using the n**ger word lately and I have asked him several times to stop. I have warned him not to say it in front of my 11 year old son or our 5 year daughter. His total lack of respect seems to be getting worse. Today my husband wanted me to hear a song he received from someone else in front of my husbands best friend and that friends brother. It sang about how could any respectful women sleep with a n**ger. I was so embarassed and hurt. I told him in front of everybody that it is not a cute song and I cannot believe he would think I would enjoy that. I love my husband to no end and he was never like this until a few months ago. His father even has a best friend that is black that he calls uncle. I cannot subject my kids to this ignorance any further but do not want to lose him either. Help!


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## Country Girl (Apr 19, 2009)

Yep, I agree with you; this is unacceptable behavior. Any idea what caused him to change recently? I really have no advice other than to maybe have a talk with him. Let him know how much that term hurts others. We are all God's children and the color of our skin makes no difference.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

reddhead said:


> I have been with my husband for 10 years, 6 of them married. I had a 2 son when we met. My son is mixed, half black and half white. Well lately my husband has begun using the n**ger word lately and I have asked him several times to stop. I have warned him not to say it in front of my 11 year old son or our 5 year daughter. His total lack of respect seems to be getting worse. Today my husband wanted me to hear a song he received from someone else in front of my husbands best friend and that friends brother. It sang about how could any respectful women sleep with a n**ger. I was so embarassed and hurt. I told him in front of everybody that it is not a cute song and I cannot believe he would think I would enjoy that. I love my husband to no end and he was never like this until a few months ago. His father even has a best friend that is black that he calls uncle. I cannot subject my kids to this ignorance any further but do not want to lose him either. Help!



Funny how blacks will call each other ******, but if a white person does, its "ignornat... haha
well, heres the thing, your husband has some anger at you or your son and this is how he sees he can most hurt you or him.
Like most things, ignoring rather than feeding into his behavior, and talking to him about it when your both calm is the best way to go.


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## reddhead (May 23, 2009)

Well my husband is mexican but I do not agree even if he was black to use that word. I wish I knew what happened that would make him start lashing out in this hateful way. I tried talking to him and he said he thought I would think it was funny to hear that song. He didn't expect me to have a fit over it and get mad. Am I overreacting to this. Is it unreasonable to expect the person who says he loves you to stop this or atleast make an attempt to stop.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

I am of mixed race due to "one thing and another"  I'm immune to all the name calling - for every person that dislikes a certain race, there's another who favours it.


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