# Now she's removed her wedding ring...



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Well my wife's first attempt at punishing me for not being the model husband that she wants me to be and always dreamed of, was cutting me off in the bedroom and that has lasted about 10 months now. So her 2nd attemp began about a few weeks ago when she stopped wearing her wedding ring all together, and she basically told me that "when you learn how to act then I'll put it back on"!

*Sigh* - I think it's safe to say it's about time to end this thing already in the coming year.


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## d4life (Nov 28, 2012)

Have you asked her about it? I am not wearing mine right now because I have a stone that is loose. If it is for the reason that you think it is you either need help in the marriage with a councilor, or end it. It's a big step. Make sure you make a decision that you won't look back and regret.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Wow.... That would kill me. To me, that's so disrespectful that it says there is no love left. 

And the bit about "until you learn".... Hmmm..... I don't do well being treated like a 6 year old, so I probably would have flipped my lid on that little gem of a comment.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Do you want to end the marriage or are you relating this to TAM looking for advice on how the relationship can be salvaged?


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

If you stay you are DONE because she has NO RESPECT for you at all and thinks you are no better then a child or animal that can be trained. 
You need to start looking at a alwer ,how to handle the money and start sorting things out.Show her the divorce maybe we can talk.papers and say when you learn how to be respectful


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I have read some of your threads but maybe not all of them. What have you done sooo wrong that she's doing this to you?
I remember you argue a lot ...even with calling each other names but could this be the reason?


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> Well my wife's first attempt at punishing me for not being the model husband that she wants me to be and always dreamed of, was cutting me off in the bedroom and that has lasted about 10 months now. So her 2nd attemp began about a few weeks ago when she stopped wearing her wedding ring all together, and she basically told me that "when you learn how to act then I'll put it back on"!
> 
> *Sigh* - I think it's safe to say it's about time to end this thing already in the coming year.


Just pull the rip cord on the marriage already. She's giving you all the signs. Hand her your ring and tell her you're filing for divorce. The more you put up with this, the worse you will be.

In another post you said you've given her 500 chances. That's part of the problem. Each of these chances just shows her you aren't serious about moving on. So just do it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> Well my wife's first attempt at punishing me for not being the model husband that she wants me to be and always dreamed of, was cutting me off in the bedroom and that has lasted about 10 months now. So her 2nd attemp began about a few weeks ago when she stopped wearing her wedding ring all together, and she basically told me that "when you learn how to act then I'll put it back on"!
> 
> *Sigh* - I think it's safe to say it's about time to end this thing already in the coming year.


Hmm,tell her when she starts acting like a wife then you guys can think about not getting divorced!

scratch that just start an exit plan ...and keep it close to the vest so to speak.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Man, you are really dragging your feet. Are you really going to take action this time? Hmmm, I wonder.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I would know EXACTLY "how to act." I'd "act" like someone filing for divorce.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

My STBXW quit wearing hers some 12 months before the separation. I asked her about it once and she intoned it was because of farm chores at the family ranch. Well, I worked there too, but never saw the inherent need to ever take mine off.

But in retrospect, that "12 months prior" also represented the period where STBXW was fastly making her out-of-town trips to see her OM, so being saddled with the presence of that ring then, no doubt, just compounded things for her; and "losing it" on those trips of her's probably just greatly added to her newfound romance.

Moral of this fable: Check your wife out thoroughly nine ways to Sunday~ after all, she may already have herself a "Stage Door Johnny" well in place!


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Cee, I think this is a big deal. More than just a tantrum tactic. I could be wrong but based on my own experience I think it is symbolic of her mindset. 

My wife decided she was only waiting out the marriage until the kids left, in about 6 yrs from that point. She stopped wearing her rings. It was symbolic to her that she no longer considered herself married other than on paper. She started dressing younger, and she started wearing different jewelry typical of the single women around here (rings on her right hand, etc).

She hid from me that she wasn't wearing her wedding rings, btw. I noticed the weight loss, the new hair styles, the personal trainer, and the cute shoes.

To me, taking off the wedding rings is a statement of breaking the wedding vows. It is an infidelity in and of itself because it signals the world that she is not married. Especially to those who know she is married, such as other men, who will read it as a signal of availability.

I wish I had known my wife stopped wearing her rings. I think it should be met with divorce papers.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Thor said:


> Cee, I think this is a big deal. More than just a tantrum tactic. I could be wrong but based on my own experience I think it is symbolic of her mindset.
> 
> My wife decided she was only waiting out the marriage until the kids left, in about 6 yrs from that point. She stopped wearing her rings. It was symbolic to her that she no longer considered herself married other than on paper. She started dressing younger, and she started wearing different jewelry typical of the single women around here (rings on her right hand, etc).
> 
> ...


The first time I noticed her ring not on she said she "forgot it at home", but then a week later when I noticed it not on again she came clean 100% this time, and told me it's her way of making a statement that she's sick and tired of my attitude & that I'd better change or else. Well tonight I told her to leave it off because once I start moving out here in the next month there's no need to put it back on, and as for mine it's a $500 ring so I will probably just pawn it at some point.


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