# Seperation Turning Point



## paperclip (Feb 24, 2011)

I have finally reached the point where I no longer care about my soon to be ex wife and have actually been much happier and I believe I finally got my closure in the whole ordeal.

Me and my STBXW have been separated for over a year. I left the marital home (we were living with her mother at the time because we couldn’t live off my salary alone and pay for rent/daycare while she was in school full time) because she wouldn’t stop texting other dudes. 

Fast forward a year…. On thanksgiving morning I got a text from a former mutual friend. She asked me if I remember what date I left her because she saw that my ex was currently listing her “anniversary” with Mr. Wonderful on Facebook as the month I left. Come to my surprise it was the next Saturday (3 days) they made their relationship official and I blew up. I called her on thanksgiving morning and told her how that was not only disrespectful to me, but also to our daughter. Told he she was an awful person and hung up. Haven’t spoken two words to her unless its been about our child since and it feels wonderful. 

Up until now, I would always get upset and always wonder what if’s. Wondering if I would ever get closure. I guess that was it…. I could care less about what she does and who she does it with. I was obviously correct in the fact she was already seeing this dude when I left and know now that I made the correct decision.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

paperclip, congratulations on reaching your turning point. It must have been a tough time for you, and I am glad you made it through the ordeal. In reading this post, I wished there was some way I could help. And then I realized that I could help, by suggesting a few steps you could take to speed your life along. So here they are!

You've been separated over a year. She hooked up with another guy within a week of you moving out. GET A LAWYER AND FILE FOR 
FRICKIN DIVORCE.

Search this site or Marriage Builders for something called the "180." It is a set of behaviors you can engage in to help yourself further separate emotionally from your nonexistent relationship, so that you can move on with your life and maybe meet someone who is worth having a relationship with.

And that's it. You've reached a good spot, emotionally. So take that success and build on it, and move on to a better happier life!


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