# How to handle move out day?



## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

STBX is moving out at the end of the month (finally!). It's move-out #1; he's taking his clothes and a few things and staying with family until he gets his own place. Then he'll be taking the rest of his stuff in a couple months. Anyway, does anyone have suggestions on how best to do this for the kids? I plan on taking them out for the day, but they are old enough that they'll know daddy's moving out, so a trip to the movies probably won't work. Maybe grandma's house? I don't think they'll handle seeing him walk out very well. I probably won't either, even though I can't wait for it to be over.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Serenity_Prayer said:


> STBX is moving out at the end of the month (finally!). It's move-out #1; he's taking his clothes and a few things and staying with family until he gets his own place. Then he'll be taking the rest of his stuff in a couple months. Anyway, does anyone have suggestions on how best to do this for the kids? I plan on taking them out for the day, but they are old enough that they'll know daddy's moving out, so a trip to the movies probably won't work. Maybe grandma's house? I don't think they'll handle seeing him walk out very well. I probably won't either, even though I can't wait for it to be over.


Are the kids aware of what will be happening that day?


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I know this sounds crazy but we all help him move into an apartment together. We showed them where they will be at when they are not with me. Dont get me wrong it was hard and I had to stay strong for my girls but that is how it happened. I would do it again the same way cause I did not want them to come home and just think he left them.


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

The kids know we're divorcing and daddy will be living with his brother for a while. I don't think they know the day yet, and heck STBX hasn't given a firm date, just a range of a few days. I wouldn't ever surprise them by coming home from the park and seeing daddy's stuff gone. I just thought we'd be out of the way, and once he got his stuff to the new place, they could visit and help him unpack. I guess I can help if it comes to that, it's not unheard of. Maybe they can stay and help, I don't know, just not sure how they'll handle it.


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I guess we just wanted to show a united front for the kids that this was something that we both decided.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kimberley17 (Oct 10, 2011)

I was wondering this same thing. My husband will be moving out in a week and my kids are 4 and 2. I'm not sure how to handle it. They will be in school/daycare that day so I we were thinking of telling them beforehand. I don't know. It's such a mess.


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## keepthefaith (Nov 24, 2012)

My boys are 17 & 13 so they were very aware of all that was happening. My stbxh did not help me move but my boys did. The stbx just wasn't home while I was moving. 
I agree with the earlier posts that showing a united front is a good idea. I am a teacher and I have seen so many of my students "handling" their parents' divorce and I can honestly say that the kids handle things so much better when the parents are civil with each other as opposed to fighting or just not speaking. In every decision/action involved in my separation/divorce I try to first consider the impact on my children..both short and long term impact.


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

Well, he moved out New Year's Eve. I went to work, and he was home with the kids. I got home before they headed out so I helped the kids pack their bags. They went with Daddy to spend the first couple of nights. So far he's just taken some clothes to his brother's house, so no help from me required. I tried to make it sound like a fun trip to their uncle's. They'll be back home tomorrow evening. At first I was sad when they drove away, but then got on with my new year's eve plans with my family. Today I woke up nearly giddy with the peace and lack of responsibility. I haven't had a full day to myself in years. I miss my kiddies but I am liking this time to myself.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Serenity_Prayer said:


> At first I was sad when they drove away, but then got on with my new year's eve plans with my family. Today I woke up nearly giddy with the peace and lack of responsibility. I haven't had a full day to myself in years. I miss my kiddies but I am liking this time to myself.


Good! Same here. I've found it's so much easier to keep the house clean too, which is a plus. You don't realize how much clutter another person adds until it's all gone. Refreshing.

Watch what you want on tv. Cook what you want to eat. Less laundry. Less dishes. Throw on your favorite tunes. Sleep diagonally. Go ahead and fart in bed!


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

I know I'm a little late, but a child psychologist told us it would be good for D6 to be involved with the move. If not the actual move itself, to go with to do a walk through of the apartment beforehand or help unpack after. 

This helps them feel like it's something they are doing with their parent, rather than something that is happening to them. 

I had D6 help me pack some of stbxw boxes. She went with to pick up the truck. She stayed at stbxw's apartment the first night to help unpack and be involved in decisions of where things would go. Important for her to feel that it's not just stbxw's apartment, but her second home where she is welcome and has things.


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