# How do I disclose my felony conviction to this woman?



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

I was released from prison in 2017. I just turned 30 years old last month. I was accepted into my dream school for graduate school in the Fall.

Back in 2012, I was convicted of a felony:

Planning/Conspiring/Endeavoring to perform an act of violence.

The Misdemeanor was: Stalking

I took my car and drove 1000 miles and threatened a woman.

A few days ago in my city park, I met this woman who is a Criminal Defense Lawyer (Public Defender) and she was walking her dog while there was snow in the park. The conversation lasted about 20 minutes and it went well. I did not disclose my felony conviction to her.

Yesterday, she accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.

I went to a website for lawyers and asked if she would lose her license if she dates a felon and other lawyers said no and that lawyers are allowed to date or marry felons.

During my sentencing, my lawyers tried to convince the judge that I have high functioning autism.

I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum since middle school.

I have a couple of questions:

1) The next time that I see her, do I both reveal to her my felony conviction and my autism diagnosis?

2) How do I explain all of this to her?

My felony conviction is on Google and I want to explain this to her before she Googles my name.

I went through her Instagram Account and didn’t see a “boyfriend.”

However, when I checked my Instagram account today to check for any messages that I received from other people, I saw that she had went live on Instagram with some bum lawyer in my city.

How do I disclose my issue to her?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Do you have her contact info to ask her out? If she agrees to go out with you, before the date you should either call or text her and just be honest and tell her you want her to know you have a felony conviction for stalking and are probably also autistic because you want her to have the option to back out.

Don't be surprised if she takes that option.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Yes you tell her everything, answer all questions honestly if she asks them, without any justifications, stick to facts. Be ok with it if she makes the decision not to peruse it and back away and don’t look back.

What you want eventually is someone who freely wants you despite this, not someone you have to convince. That’s the right person for you.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

scarletandgrey said:


> 1) The next time that I see her, do I both reveal to her my felony conviction and my autism diagnosis?


Yes. Just like that. Short sentences.



scarletandgrey said:


> 2) How do I explain all of this to her?


You answer her questions, if she asks any.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Luckylucky said:


> Yes you tell her everything, answer all questions honestly if she asks them, without any justifications, stick to facts. Be ok with it if she makes the decision not to peruse it and back away and don’t look back.
> 
> What you want eventually is someone who freely wants you despite this, not someone you have to convince. That’s the right person for you.


I will put my focus on both graduate school and the woman. I was admitted to my favorite school and she earned her Law Degree from the school.

She should overlook my past because it was almost 9 years ago.

She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

scarletandgrey said:


> She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


It's true that all of us have done things that we regret. And, I believe that we should afford others a chance at redemption.

You recognize that this woman has the right to her own "agency", regarding your past, and your present. The future is unknown to us all. Please show her the respect to be honest with her.
And, respect her decision, whether to continue, or stop, your relationship with her.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> She should overlook my past because it was almost 9 years ago.
> 
> She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


Based on this attitude, I hope she walks away. 

You made choices and you have to live with those choices for the rest of your life. No one owes you anything.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

How do you manage your autism. I am sure many women are fearful of being stalked. It's time consuming and very embarassing ....... people assuming that she can't size people up properly. A very necessary skill in law.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

bobert said:


> Based on this attitude, I hope she walks away.
> 
> You made choices and you have to live with those choices for the rest of your life. No one owes you anything.


Who are you to tell me that you hope she walks away?

You’re a random internet user.

I will be attending my favorite school for graduate school and I turned my life around.

She earned her Law Degree from that school.

I deserve for her to give me a chance.

She accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.

I don’t see any boyfriend that I can see. There was a Instagram Story that she posted in which she took a photo with a male lawyer.

I deserve her.

😎😎😎


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> I deserve for her to give me a chance.
> 
> 
> I deserve her.


Huh  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Who are you to tell me that you hope she walks away?


My opinion still applies.



> She accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.


Wow! Such intimacy there. Too bad A) she didn't know the truth about you when she did that and B) most people friend _anyone_ on social media, whether they know them well or not. Gotta get those followers, or in her case, stalkers.



> I don’t see any boyfriend that I can see. There was a Instagram Story that she posted in which she took a photo with a male lawyer.


Sounds like old habits die hard, eh? Back to the good ol' days of stalking.



> You’re a random internet user.


And we all know what you are 🙂 Have fun.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

bobert said:


> My opinion still applies.
> 
> 
> Wow! Such intimacy there. Too bad A) she didn't know the truth about you when she did that and B) most people friend _anyone_ on social media, whether they know them well or not. Gotta get those followers, or in her case, stalkers.
> ...


Unfortunately for you, I won’t tell her that I am entitled to have her.

I will just tell her that I made mistakes in my past, I made bad decisions, and had poor judgement, I will tell her that I owned up to my mistakes.

Evan though the world did me wrong.

We had a nice conversation face-to-face.

She accepted my follow request on her PRIVATE Instagram Account.

I deserve this.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

scarletandgrey said:


> Who are you to tell me that you hope she walks away?
> 
> You’re a random internet user.
> 
> ...


You do NOT deserve her, you deserve nothing you don't earn. Another thing you said that disturbs me is you calling her date a "bum lawyer". WTF? What gives you the right?

I can easily forgive a mistake in life, hell I have a criminal history myself. But your entitled attitude and insulting jealousy are high flying red flags. 

I congratulate you on acknowledging your mistakes and working at bettering yourself, but you got a lot of work to go if you want to have healthy relationships.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Just a caution here, but using those phrases "I deserve this", "I deserve her", etc. That is most likely what got you in trouble in the first place, so if you still have the mindset, then no, you haven't changed or learned.

Yes it is reading a lot into your words on a forum, but those are phrases I would never say, and should be off putting to anyone that hears them.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I’d think it reasonable to bring this up after a couple dates. Are you sure you’re rehabilitated? Maybe you should join the Catholic Church at which point you will have a priest and confessor to guide you in your spiritual journey. Jesus gave St. Peter (and his priests) the ability to forgive sins! You’ve done your time for society but more important is to make amends with God.

Nothing is better at curing a man from ALL that ails him than the Church and a good woman- in that order.

I wish you the best my brother.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

scarletandgrey said:


> I will put my focus on both graduate school and the woman. I was admitted to my favorite school and she earned her Law Degree from the school.
> 
> She should overlook my past because it was almost 9 years ago.
> 
> She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


In my opinion no one should overlook a stalker's past. So your only hope there is to find someone who doesn't really know much about stalkers.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I was released from prison in 2017. I just turned 30 years old last month. I was accepted into my dream school for graduate school in the Fall.
> 
> Back in 2012, I was convicted of a felony:
> 
> ...


In good conscience before I give advice I have to say that is a pretty serious charge. Why do you feel you are in a better place and this kind of thing won't happen again? Are you prepared that if you were to have a relationship with her or someone else that it may not work out? It may even be brutally hard, but you have to let it go? Why do you feel like you can do that now?


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> In my opinion no one should overlook a stalker's past. So you're only hope there is to find someone who doesn't really know much about stalkers.


I made mistakes in the past.

I have a sense of entitlement to have this woman.

You don’t tell me what to do. Do you understand me?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Better than you know.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I will put my focus on both graduate school and the woman. I was admitted to my favorite school and she earned her Law Degree from the school.
> 
> She should overlook my past because it was almost 9 years ago.
> 
> She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


I have to say just just the harshness of those last to sentences shows maybe your thinking isn't correct and it's going to hurt you. No one should do anything. Everyone is allowed to have any deal breakers they want. 

If you actually mean what you said, it shows kind of a problem that would lead to stalking. It's an entitlement issue. You are not entitled to a relationship with anyone.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Who are you to tell me that you hope she walks away?
> 
> You’re a random internet user.
> 
> ...


Forget it man, you are not ready for any relationship yet. You just met this women. Relationships are a gift that someone give you, you earn it. You thinking is all wrong. Get some help or you are going to find yourself right back where you were.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

You would get a hard no from me. Most older established single women are very selective and have already been through bad relationships a time or two. Most of us would not be willing to take a chance with a guy with the kind of charge where any type of violence (physical or not) toward a woman was involved.

You should be prepared to be let down and don’t withhold this information from her in order to avoid being shot down. Trust needs to be established from the get go. All you can do is be honest and see where she goes with it. She has every right to decide for herself regardless of how you feel on the matter.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

One of my best friends played in the NHL, he retired about 6 years ago. His last 2 years he had a stalker. It was really scary, as they have small kids. NHL security was with them for months, the FBI was involved, the woman did 18 months in prison. When she got out she was still looking for him. He, his wife and their kids cannot have social media accounts still to this day, and if we are all together we cannot post picture on social media if they are in them. This woman is a criminal defense attorney so she has probably known a few stalkers in her time. My guess is she will not be interested in having a relationship with a person with your past. Yes maybe you've changed but I don't see a person who has seen a stalker up close being interested in risking having a relationship with someone with that past.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Better than you know.


No, you don’t know anything.

Are you even well educated? Do you even have an undergraduate degree? Did you ever attend graduate school?

I don’t think so.

She should overlook my past.

The only issue is that she is friends with people in high places and she has her family.

The incident was almost 9 years ago and people deserve another chance especially after turning their life around.

I scored 337/340 on my GRE even though it wasn’t required for the Masters Program that I am going for at my favorite school.

I am far superior to you in every way possible.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

happyhusband0005 said:


> One of my best friends played in the NHL, he retired about 6 years ago. His last 2 years he had a stalker. It was really scary, as they have small kids. NHL security was with them for months, the FBI was involved, the woman did 18 months in prison. When she got out she was still looking for him. He, his wife and their kids cannot have social media accounts still to this day, and if we are all together we cannot post picture on social media if they are in them. This woman is a criminal defense attorney so she has probably known a few stalkers in her time. My guess is she will not be interested in having a relationship with a person with your past. Yes maybe you've changed but I don't see a person who has seen a stalker up close being interested in risking having a relationship with someone with that past.


Fortunately, you’re not her. Nobody cares about your imaginary friend with a stalker.
I turned my life around and deserve another chance.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Not said:


> You would get a hard no from me. Most older established single women are very selective and have already been through bad relationships a time or two. Most of us would not be willing to take a chance with a guy with the kind of charge where any type of violence (physical or not) toward a woman was involved.
> 
> You should be prepared to be let down and don’t withhold this information from her in order to avoid being shot down. Trust needs to be established from the get go. All you can do is be honest and see where she goes with it. She has every right to decide for herself regardless of how you feel on the matter.


Fortunately, you’re not her. You’re just a random lady on a forum.

I am about to attend graduate school and I turned my life around and deserve a shot with this woman.

Fortunately, you’re not friends with this woman so you would try to convince her otherwise.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

scarletandgrey said:


> Fortunately, you’re not her. You’re just a random lady on a forum.
> 
> I am about to attend graduate school and I turned my life around and deserve a shot with this woman.
> 
> Fortunately, you’re not friends with this woman so you would try to convince her otherwise.


The big question is how are you going to react when she tells you no?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I made mistakes in the past.
> 
> I have a sense of entitlement to have this woman.
> 
> You don’t tell me what to do. Do you understand me?


Wow
No one has an entitlement to have anyone. You had a friendly chat with her in a park and based on that you think you are entitled to have her???? You know nothing about her or she you She may well have a partner, not everone puts their personal details on these sites. From what you have said here, you still have massive issues with stalkerish behaviour in that you are claiming this women for yourself just because of a chat in the park when she was walking her dog.    I chat with lots of people when I am walking my dog, I am not going to date them.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Not said:


> The big question is how are you going to react when she tells you no?


She has no reason to tell me no. The meeting went well.

I’m going back to school and earning my masters.

I deserve for her to give me a chance.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Wow
> No one has an entitlement to have anyone. You had a friendly chat with her in a park and based on that you think you are entitled to have her???? You know nothing about her or she you She may well have a partner, not everone puts their personal details on these sites. From what you have said here, you still have massive issues with stalkerish behaviour in that you are claiming this women for yourself just because of a chat in the park when she was walking her dog.    I chat with lots of people when I am walking my dog, I am not going to date them.


She accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.

Yesterday, she posted a Instagram Story in which she took a photo with a male bum Lawyer in my city.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

scarletandgrey said:


> She has no reason to tell me no. The meeting went well.
> 
> I’m going back to school and earning my masters.
> 
> I deserve for her to give me a chance.


Do you see what you’re doing? You’ve already decided for her that she can’t say no.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> No, you don’t know anything.
> 
> Are you even well educated? Do you even have an undergraduate degree? Did you ever attend graduate school?
> 
> ...


Qualifications dont mean much when common sense and intuition are needed here. You had a chat in a park, people do that all the time.
If she did agree to go on a date, you would need to tell her yes, especially considering what the crime was. What are you going to do if she turns you down? Why do you thnk that just because she added you to her instagram she is interested in you in that way?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> She accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.
> 
> Yesterday, she posted a Instagram Story in which she took a photo with a male bum Lawyer in my city.


So why do you need to call him names? He may be a friend of hers.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

The


Diana7 said:


> Qualifications dont mean much when common sense and intuition are needed here. You had a chat in a park, people do that all the time.
> If she did agree to go on a date, you would need to tell her yes, especially considering what the crime was. What are you going to do if she turns you down?


I committed no crime. The main reason that I was convicted was because I took my car and drove 1000 miles to another state. It would have been a misdemeanor if I had threatened her and remained at home.

When I reveal all of this to her, I will own up to my mistakes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Not said:


> Do you see what you’re doing? You’ve already decided for her that she can’t say no.


It wasnt a meeting in that way, it was a friendly chat in the park which people do all the time. I wish you the best with your studies but the way you are talking here is concerning. Did you have any sort of counselling after your conviction?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> The
> 
> 
> I committed no crime. The main reason that I was convicted was because I took my car and drove 1000 miles to another state. It would have been a misdemeanor if I had threatened her and remained at home.
> ...


You said that you drove 1000 miles, presumably to where she lived, and threatened her. You went to jail so it clearly was a crime. 

I think you are jumping the gun here. You had a chat in a park, it wasnt a date. She may well have a partner and even if she hasnt she may not want to date. How will you deal with that?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> She accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account.
> 
> Yesterday, she posted a Instagram Story in which she took a photo with a male bum Lawyer in my city.


How many are on her account? Quite a few I guess. Does that mean she wants to date them?


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> You said that you drove 1000 miles, presumably to where she lived, and threatened her. You went to jail so it clearly was a crime.
> 
> I think you are jumping the gun here. You had a chat in a park, it wasnt a date. She may well have a partner and even if she hasnt she may not want to date. How will you deal with that?


I stand a great chance because I am going for my degree.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

scarletandgrey said:


> The
> 
> 
> I committed no crime. The main reason that I was convicted was because I took my car and drove 1000 miles to another state. It would have been a misdemeanor if I had threatened her and remained at home.
> ...


You drove 1000 miles to do what then?


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> How many are on her account? Quite a few I guess. Does that mean she wants to date them?


Less than 950.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’m worried for this woman and wish there was something that could be done.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> She has no reason to tell me no. The meeting went well.
> 
> I’m going back to school and earning my masters.
> 
> I deserve for her to give me a chance.


You havent answered the question though. What will you do if she says no? What If she has a partner or just doesnt want to date anyone? She is free to say no.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Less than 950.


So let me get this right, she has 950 people on her account and yet you think that because she has accepted you as her 950th , she wants to date you. I think you are jumping the gun by miles here. She may just be a friendly person who chats to many people like many dog walkers do.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I stand a great chance because I am going for my degree.


Millions of people have degrees though, and not everyone judges partners by their qualifications. Dont blow your chances by stalking this lady.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)




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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Talk to us about healthy relationships you have had with women in the past, if any.

I certainly understand that the dynamics of interpersonal and romantic relationships can be very challenging for folks with ASD. I know as I'm helping my 18 year old who is on the spectrum navigate those waters now.
I can understand your wanting to imagine the development of a romantic relationship. But the reality is also that you need to acknowledge and be prepared for the fact that she does not want the same, and the likelihood of her NOT wanting to become involved with you based upon your prior conviction, is very high.

It is important to recognize that after a brief meeting and conversation, neither you, nor she has any depth of knowledge about the other. And very important for you to recognize that rejection is simply a normal consequence of trying to find someone with whom to have an intimate relationship. Take it from someone who has been rejected ... a lot.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Deejo said:


> Talk to us about healthy relationships you have had with women in the past, if any.
> 
> I certainly understand that the dynamics of interpersonal and romantic relationships can be very challenging for folks with ASD. I know as I'm helping my 18 year old who is on the spectrum navigate those waters now.
> I can understand your wanting to imagine the development of a romantic relationship. But the reality is also that you need to acknowledge and be prepared for the fact that she does not want the same, and the likelihood of her NOT wanting to become involved with you based upon your prior conviction, is very high.
> ...


Your rejection and issues are not my problem, AT ALL.

😂😂😂😂😂😂


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Your rejection and issues are not my problem, AT ALL.
> 
> 😂😂😂😂😂😂


They may help if you are rejected. Everyone is rejected at some pont, thats life. What will you do if she has a partner already or just doesnt want to date?


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

I wonder if the OP has tried clubbing her on the head and dragging her home by her hair?


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Tasorundo said:


> I wonder if the OP has tried clubbing her on the head and dragging her home by her hair?


You’re a sick individual.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> The
> 
> 
> I committed no crime. The main reason that I was convicted was because I took my car and drove 1000 miles to another state. It would have been a misdemeanor if I had threatened her and remained at home.
> ...


Mistakes like what??? that you didn't know the law well enough to continue stalking her and not get caught.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> You’re a sick individual.


So are you going to ask her on a date? What if she has a partner? What if she says no?


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

NextTimeAround said:


> Mistakes like what??? that you didn't know the law well enough to continue stalking her and not get caught.


Everyone deserves another chance.

🤡🤡🤡


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> Everyone deserves another chance.
> 
> 🤡🤡🤡


We all say that. But it doesn't always happen that way. I've been stalked before and it was awful.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Is this for real? The OP sounds like someone that just wants to post on a board to argue.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

karole said:


> Is this for real? The OP sounds like someone that just wants to post on a board to argue.


Yes, this is for real. I was hoping people on this Forum would help me out but nobody is.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> Yes, this is for real. I was hoping people on this Forum would help me out but nobody is.


What would you like for us to say?


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Several people gave you advice. Several people continue to give you advice.

Your wording is very troubling and given your past seems to indicate you have some issues you need to work on. Your quick jump to talking to a person one time, to saying 'I deserve her' is really scary and indicates you have a lot of control, possessive issues. You also seem fairly quick to anger.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

NextTimeAround said:


> What would you like for us to say?


I am deserving of another chance.

1) Me earning my undergraduate in a great field should impress the crap out of her.

2) Me about to attend graduate school should be another plus on my side for her.

3) Don’t care that she has friends of higher level or what her family says, it’s her decision.

4) I have my life ahead of me and something from 9 years ago shouldn’t hold me back from potentially being in a relationship with her.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Tasorundo said:


> I wonder if the OP has tried clubbing her on the head and dragging her home by her hair?


That was probably his plan with the incident that sent him to prison.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

What is going to hold you back is your entitled, jealous, nasty behavior going on right NOW. I feel you are already going to stalk this woman, it's like if she say "not interested" you aren't going to listen or respect her.

You say you've paid your dues and learned from your mistakes, so promise me this. Tell her about your past conviction and what it was for before any kind of date, if she says "not interested" never contact her again. Can you do that? Will you promise that?


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## TomNebraska (Jun 14, 2016)

wow you got accepted into a master's program? That's really impressive!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I am deserving of another chance.
> 
> 1) Me earning my undergraduate in a great field should impress the crap out of her.
> 
> ...


So are you going to ask her on a date? What happens if she has a partner? What happens if she says no? You seem to have weirdly decided that she is the one for you and yet you just had a friendly chat in a park. You dont know a thing about her or her you and she hasnt even agreed to a date. 

I doubt she will be impressed by money as she must earn quite a bit herself. 
Lots of people have degrees etc.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Cooper said:


> What is going to hold you back is your entitled, jealous, nasty behavior going on right NOW. I feel you are already going to stalk this woman, it's like if she say "not interested" you aren't going to listen or respect her.
> 
> You say you've paid your dues and learned from your mistakes, so promise me this. Tell her about your past conviction and what it was for before any kind of date, if she says "not interested" never contact her again. Can you do that? Will you promise that?


Yes, I can promise that.

However, she’ll be understanding of my previous mistake and won’t hold it against me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Yes, I can promise that.
> 
> However, she’ll be understanding of my previous mistake and won’t hold it against me.


OK so
1)she may well have a partner/fiance/husband.Or
2) she may not want to be dating anyone right now. Or
3) she may be gay, or
4)She may not want to date you because there is no chemistry, or
5)she may not want to date you with your conviction for stalking. 

Good to hear that if she says no you will leave it there though.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> So are you going to ask her on a date? What happens if she has a partner? What happens if she says no? You seem to have weirdly decided that she is the one for you and yet you just had a friendly chat in a park. You dont know a thing about her or her you and she hasnt even agreed to a date.
> 
> I doubt she will be impressed by money as she must earn quite a bit herself.
> Lots of people have degrees etc.


I want to have a few more conversations with her before I ask her out.

If she says no, that’s that.

She won’t judge me based on my past. I just pray that she doesn’t contact that woman from another state in which I caught my felony. I will explain everything to her and that I was a complete moron.

If she contacts that woman, than she’ll want nothing more to do with me.

It’s better if it comes from my mouth.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I'll just come right out and say it - this whole story reeks of bear poop. Watch where you step, folks.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> I'll just come right out and say it - this whole story reeks of bear poop. Watch where you step, folks.


Actually, it doesn’t. Keep trying.

I don’t deserve to be judged based on something from 9 years ago.

1) I didn’t kill anybody.
2) I’m not a sex offender.
3) It wasn’t a DUI or DWI.
4) It wasn’t robbery or burglary.
5) It wasn’t fraud case.

Too many smartasses on this forum.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

scarletandgrey said:


> I want to have a few more conversations with her before I ask her out.
> 
> If she says no, that’s that.
> 
> ...


Honey, if she is a criminal attorney, she will run a background check on you before going out with you, you can count on that. My guess is, once she does that and sees your history, you won't hear from her again. Sorry, but odds are, I am right.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

karole said:


> Honey, if she is a criminal attorney, she will run a background check on you before going out with you, you can count on that. My guess is, once she does that and sees your history, you won't hear from her again. Sorry, but odds are, I am right.


I will explain everything to her and leave out some details that were explained by the ADA during the sentencing.

Hopefully she doesn’t judge me for something that happened almost a decade ago.

Getting into graduate school is a plus on my side.

I deserve to get to know her better.

If she says no, I’ll leave it at that.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

scarletandgrey said:


> I will explain everything to her and leave out some details that were explained by the ADA during the sentencing.
> 
> Hopefully she doesn’t judge me for something that happened almost a decade ago.
> 
> ...


An education does not make you a good person and worthy of dating anyone you want. Plus, you need to stop it with the "deserve." You don't "deserve" anything and the lady certainly doesn't owe you anything.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

scarletandgrey said:


> Have you tried Slim Fast?
> 
> 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


I can laugh at a witty insult but I have no idea what you mean. Care to explain?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

karole said:


> An education does not make you a good person and worthy of dating anyone you want. Plus, you need to stop it with the "deserve." You don't "deserve" anything and the lady certainly doesn't owe you anything.


I deserve her. The world did me wrong. All I am saying is that a stupid felony case from 2012 should not hold me back from getting to know her better.

I have proved that I turned my life around by going back to school and earning my undergraduate and getting into my favorite school for graduate school.

This forum is a bunch of 🤡🤡🤡 who judge right off the bat.

I’ll be honest with her but leave out a few details that the ADA bought out during the sentencing phase and I also hope that she doesn’t contact that woman from my case.

I will explain everything to her.


----------



## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

scarletandgrey said:


> I deserve her. The world did me wrong. All I am saying is that a stupid felony case from 2012 should not hold me back from getting to know her better.
> 
> I have proved that I turned my life around by going back to school and earning my undergraduate and getting into my favorite school for graduate school.
> 
> ...


Just because someone does not tell you what you want to hear does not make them clowns. Respectfully, you sound very immature. Also, if she is a criminal attorney, should she desire, she can access your records including the hearing transcripts and read everything that was said and by whom. She probably won't do that though because as I stated earlier, when she finds out what you were charged with, you won't hear from her again. Please don't stalk her when she does.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@scarletandgrey This is a note from the moderation team. Please read up on the rules of TAM before you continue to post.

Posting in the rude, obnoxious way you have done could result in you being banned.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

karole said:


> Just because someone does not tell you what you want to hear does not make them clowns. Respectfully, you sound very immature. Also, if she is a criminal attorney, should she desire, she can access your records including the hearing transcripts and read everything that was said and by whom. She probably won't do that though because as I stated earlier, when she finds out what you were charged with, you won't hear from her again. Please don't stalk her when she does.


You do realize that female lawyers have dated felons before right?

There was a federal felon in Oregon that dated a prosecutor. He went to prison 3 times.

You really don’t know what you are saying.

Please don’t reply to my post again.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

I am trying to make this my Redemption Tour/Story.

1) I was convicted of a crime in 2012.
2) I got released from prison in 2017.
3) I finished up my undergraduate degree.
4) I got accepted into my favorite school for graduate school.
5) That woman got her law degree from my favorite school.
6) There have been female lawyers who have dated convicted felons in the past.
7) There was a federal felon in Oregon who dated a prosecutor, Ironically I ran into the guy who took over her job on the website for lawyers.
8) I didn’t kill anybody.
9) I’m not a sex offender.
10) I didn’t rob anybody.

I will explain everything to her.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Actually, it doesn’t. Keep trying.
> 
> I don’t deserve to be judged based on something from 9 years ago.
> 
> ...


No its not those things but it was something serious none the less.If you were in jail for 5 years then it was serious.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> I want to have a few more conversations with her before I ask her out.
> 
> If she says no, that’s that.
> 
> ...


So how and where are you going to have these conversations?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> So how and where are you going to have these conversations?


Well, she is on my Instagram.

I’ll send her a Personal DM and ask her if she wants to get some coffee. If she accepts to that, I will sit her down and explain everything.

If she says that she doesn’t want to associate with me, I’ll leave it at that.

This is my redemption Story.

1)Guy gets convicted of a felony and a misdemeanor and goes to prison.

2)Guy goes back to school and earns his bachelor’s degree.

3)Guy gets admitted to his favorite school for graduate school and is about to live the dream of attending that school.

4)Guy meets a woman who is an attorney.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> Well, she is on my Instagram.
> 
> I’ll send her a Personal DM and ask her if she wants to get some coffee. If she accepts to that, I will sit her down and explain everything.
> 
> ...


I do think you need to tell her all of it, even the bits that you dont want her to know. She would probably find out anyway. To be in jail for that length of time what you did must have been pretty bad.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Fortunately, you’re not her. Nobody cares about your imaginary friend with a stalker.
> I turned my life around and deserve another chance.





scarletandgrey said:


> Fortunately, you’re not her. Nobody cares about your imaginary friend with a stalker.
> I turned my life around and deserve another chance.


Point is it has nothing to do whether or not you deserve anything. A criminal defense lawyer has probably been exposed to how scary it is for a stalking victim. Therefore she is very likely to not want to date a person who went to prison for stalking a woman. You need to mentally prepare yourself to accept that.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Point is it has nothing to do whether or not you deserve anything. A criminal defense lawyer has probably been exposed to how scary it is for a stalking victim. Therefore she is very likely to not want to date a person who went to prison for stalking a woman. You need to mentally prepare yourself to accept that.


How about this:

If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’ll leave it at that and drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.

She’s not a prosecutor.

I’m expecting her to give me a chance.

I didn’t go to prison for the stalking charge because it was a misdemeanor. I went to prison because I not only threatened a woman but that POS Female judge told me that she was holding me to the fact that I took my car and drove 1000 miles.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I do think you need to tell her all of it, even the bits that you dont want her to know. She would probably find out anyway. To be in jail for that length of time what you did must have been pretty bad.


My case is on Google. 😐😐😐

I have to tell her ASAP when I see her.

She has friends in higher places.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

scarletandgrey said:


> How about this:
> 
> If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’ll leave it at that and drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.
> 
> ...


Why would you drop out? 
Her saying no may have nothing to do with your past, she may say no even before you tell her of your past. It may just be because she is already committed, or she wants to remain single for now or she just doesn't think you have any chemistry between you. There are all sorts of reasons she may say no. Remember she just had one chat in a park, she may just see it as that and no more.


----------



## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Everyone deserves a second chance. You were given one when you got released from prison. You are blowing it by maintaining the attitude that you deserve a woman simply because of your education. She has no obligation to date you, none. You could have a PhD and be the President of the United States and she still would not be obligated to date you simply because you had one conversation with her and she allowed you to friend her on Instagram. Your attitude about women does not seem to have changed despite 5 years in prison. And people don’t go to prison simply for driving 1000 miles. It was your intent that sent you to jail. You don’t seem to understand your crime. 

If you dont want to go back to jail you should get some help with truly understanding what it is that caused you to end up in prison.

I do applaud you for getting an education and trying to turn your life around. Please don’t waste it by getting inappropriate with this, or any, woman.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

scarletandgrey said:


> You do realize that female lawyers have dated felons before right?
> 
> There was a federal felon in Oregon that dated a prosecutor. He went to prison 3 times.
> 
> ...


*You don't get to decide who posts on TAM.*


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

notmyjamie said:


> Everyone deserves a second chance. You were given one when you got released from prison. You are blowing it by maintaining the attitude that you deserve a woman simply because of your education. She has no obligation to date you, none. You could have a PhD and be the President of the United States and she still would not be obligated to date you simply because you had one conversation with her and she allowed you to friend her on Instagram. Your attitude about women does not seem to have changed despite 5 years in prison. And people don’t go to prison simply for driving 1000 miles. It was your intent that sent you to jail. You don’t seem to understand your crime.
> 
> If you dont want to go back to jail you should get some help with truly understanding what it is that caused you to end up in prison.
> 
> I do applaud you for getting an education and trying to turn your life around. Please don’t waste it by getting inappropriate with this, or any, woman.


Listen,

If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I will drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.

I deserve a fresh chance.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> *You don't get to decide who posts on TAM.*


My bad


----------



## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

scarletandgrey said:


> Listen,
> 
> If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I will drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.
> 
> I deserve a fresh chance.


why on earth would you do that??? Your education is important...it has nothing to do with this woman.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

notmyjamie said:


> why on earth would you do that??? Your education is important...it has nothing to do with this woman.


1) The only reason that I finished my undergraduate is so that I can attend my favorite school for graduate school.If this didn’t become an option, I would never have gone back to school.

2) My undergraduate degree is different from what I am pursuing for my Masters.

3) I love this College and the athletic programs.

4) That woman got her law degree from this school.

5) I want to make this my Redemption Tour/Story.

Here is why this should be my Redemption Tour/Story:

1) Guy goes to prison in 2012 and is on Google.

2) Guy gets out of prison in 2017.

3) Guy goes back to school and gets his undergraduate.

4) Guy scores a 337/340 on the GRE even though it wasn’t required for the graduate program that he is pursuing.

5) Guy gains acceptance into his favorite school for graduate school and was the only reason to go back to school so that he can attend his favorite school.

6) Guy meets this female lawyer.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Guy needs a therapist.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

bobert said:


> Guy needs a therapist.


Didn’t I tell you don’t tell me what to do?

I don’t need a therapist.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

notmyjamie said:


> Everyone deserves a second chance. You were given one when you got released from prison. You are blowing it by maintaining the attitude that you deserve a woman simply because of your education. She has no obligation to date you, none. You could have a PhD and be the President of the United States and she still would not be obligated to date you simply because you had one conversation with her and she allowed you to friend her on Instagram. Your attitude about women does not seem to have changed despite 5 years in prison. And people don’t go to prison simply for driving 1000 miles. It was your intent that sent you to jail. You don’t seem to understand your crime.
> 
> If you dont want to go back to jail you should get some help with truly understanding what it is that caused you to end up in prison.
> 
> I do applaud you for getting an education and trying to turn your life around. Please don’t waste it by getting inappropriate with this, or any, woman.


Beautifully stated! 

OP, you don't seem to understand that it's your _attitudes_ and _beliefs_ that are the problem. To say that you "deserve" this woman and that you're "entitled" to her, is the _same_ attitude and beliefs that caused you to commit the crime(s), that landed you in prison for 5 years. While you may have been bettering your education since being released, it's clear that your _character_ has not changed. 

You also don't seem to understand the gravity of your crime(s), PLUS, you're not showing much...if ANY remorse.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> I don’t need a therapist.


Yeah bud, you do.

A therapist is much needed, regardless of your reason for coming here.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Vega said:


> Beautifully stated!
> 
> OP, you don't seem to understand that it's your _attitudes_ and _beliefs_ that are the problem. To say that you "deserve" this woman and that you're "entitled" to her, is the _same_ attitude and beliefs that caused you to commit the crime(s), that landed you in prison for 5 years. While you may have been bettering your education since being released, it's clear that your _character_ has not changed.
> 
> You also don't seem to understand the gravity of your crime(s), PLUS, you're not showing much...if ANY remorse.


I’m not letting this conviction get in the way of getting to know this woman better and asking her out.

I attend my favorite school for graduate school in the Fall. If needed, if she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, I’ll drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

scarletandgrey said:


> I’m not letting this conviction get in the way of getting to know this woman better and asking her out.
> 
> I attend my favorite school for graduate school in the Fall. If needed, if she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, I’ll drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.


You still haven't answered_ why_ you would drop out of school if this woman doesn't want to date you.


----------



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

scarletandgrey said:


> I’m not letting this conviction get in the way of getting to know this woman better and asking her out.
> 
> I attend my favorite school for graduate school in the Fall. If needed, if she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, I’ll drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.


You bumped into this woman and chatted with her for 20 minutes and you’re now ready to drop your goal of attending your dream school if she turns you down. Do you really expect any of us to take you seriously? Go play this game somewhere else.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Not said:


> You bumped into this woman and chatted with her for 20 minutes and you’re now ready to drop your goal of attending your dream school if she turns you down. Do you really expect any of us to take you seriously? Go play this game somewhere else.


Yeah, I’m literally going to drop out of my favorite school if she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

You know nothing about me besides my criminal case.

I had determination to attend my Favorite school and that was the only reason why I went back to school and earned my undergraduate degree.

I am determined to getting to know this woman better.

You know nothing about me.

I despise people who make comments on the internet without having any facts.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

What is so special about this woman?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Vega said:


> You still haven't answered_ why_ you would drop out of school if this woman doesn't want to date you.


The only reason that I went back to school is to attend my favorite school for graduate school.

I love their football, basketball, and Soccer Teams.

This woman earned her Law Degree from this school.

If this doesn’t work, I’m going to feel like an absolute failure.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

scarletandgrey said:


> The only reason that I went back to school is to attend my favorite school for graduate school.
> 
> I love their football, basketball, and Soccer Teams.
> 
> ...


Why in the world would you throw away your academic career just because a woman...who you BARELY know...may not want to date you? 

You may have scored a 337 out of 340 on your GRE, but to think the way you're thinking, isn't very SMART. I mean, seriously! If one woman says 'no', there are over a billion other women out there who are over the age of 18. I'd say your chances are pretty good that at least a FEW of them would probably agree to date you!


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> What is so special about this woman?





Vega said:


> Why in the world would you throw away your academic career just because a woman...who you BARELY know...may not want to date you?
> 
> You may have scored a 337 out of 340 on your GRE, but to think the way you're thinking, isn't very SMART. I mean, seriously! If one woman says 'no', there are over a billion other women out there who are over the age of 18. I'd say your chances are pretty good that at least a FEW of them would probably agree to date you!


It was a goal of mine to attend this school.

However, she earned her Law Degree from this school and if she turns me down, I’m going to seem like a failure.

I’m not the one paying for the school, my family is. I will attend the school but drop out if she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

I’m always determined and have my mind and goal set on something.

It was my goal to attend my favorite school, so I had to earn my undergraduate.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Scarlet and grey are the colors of OSU. Why not be proud to name your university? After all, you are very proud to attend.

And for other posters here who are reading my response, the OP just sent me a PM telling me I was "creepy" for requesting he name his alma mater. Just want to give you guys the heads-up.


----------



## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

Prodigal said:


> Scarlet and grey are the colors of OSU. Why not be proud to name your university? After all, you are very proud to attend.
> 
> And for other posters here who are reading my response, the OP just sent me a PM telling me I was "creepy" for requesting he name his alma mater. Just want to give you guys the heads-up.


I'm sorry to say, but in this case I can understand why the OP wouldn't want to divulge his school. It's personal information.

Besides, WHY do you want to know? I mean, does it really matter?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Vega said:


> I'm sorry to say, but in this case I can understand why the OP wouldn't want to divulge his school. It's personal information.
> 
> Besides, WHY do you want to know? I mean, does it really matter?


This user replied to my PM and falsely accused me of being some random user on here.

It feels like this user is STALKING me.....

I’m new to these forums.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@Vega - Yes, it does matter. Reincarnation. Consider that.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> It feels like this user is STALKING me.


Yes, I'm stalking you. BTW, please feel free to post the PM's we shared. I've already shared them with the moderators. Perhaps you should as well.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> falsely accused me of being some random user on here.


No, I accused you of being the T-word. And I let the moderators know that too. 

Now go forth and take what you deserve. Carry on. Nothing more to see here, folks.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> No, I accused you of being the T-word. And I let the moderators know that too.
> 
> Now go forth and take what you deserve. Carry on. Nothing more to see here, folks.


Random user. Making false accusations.

Doesn’t have anything better to do with his/her time.

Wanting to know my personal information.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Yep.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> How about this:
> 
> If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’ll leave it at that and drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.
> 
> ...


Well I don't see why you would drop out of grad school. But glad to read you're prepared to drop it if the response is disappointing. I would avoid things like "POS female judge" when talking about this with a female attorney.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Prodigal said:


> Scarlet and grey are the colors of OSU. Why not be proud to name your university? After all, you are very proud to attend.
> 
> And for other posters here who are reading my response, the OP just sent me a PM telling me I was "creepy" for requesting he name his alma mater. Just want to give you guys the heads-up.


Ahhh I see now.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Let's approach this from a logical perspective. You don't care for the advice/opinions you have received. You mentioned you received better advice/opinions on a different forum. Perhaps you should go with the advice you received on the other forum and ignore what you've read here.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Prodigal said:


> Let's approach this from a logical perspective. You don't care for the advice/opinions you have received. You mentioned you received better advice/opinions on a different forum. Perhaps you should go with the advice you received on the other forum and ignore what you've read here.


The people with the exception of 2 on that forum aren’t as judge mental as the people on this forum.

How is this a forum to help someone?

Nobody has helped me out.....yet.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> The people with the exception of 2 on that forum aren’t as judge mental as the people on this forum.
> 
> How is this a forum to help someone?
> 
> Nobody has helped me out.....yet.


What exactly do you want...I am confused.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

What do you feel would be of help? What type of help are you seeking?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Actual help on this situation than a blatant stand-offish answer.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Actual help on this situation than a blatant stand-offish answer.


Help how. Can you be a bit more specific?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Help how. Can you be a bit more specific?


On the other forum, two users didn’t even like my issue and I hadn’t even listed that I felt entitled.

Another user, who is apparently in her mid-30s stated that she is about to attend Law School and said that I needed to speak with the woman at least 2 more times and ask her to coffee.

She went on to state:

1) If she agrees to the coffee, meet up with her and explain the situation and see what she says. If she doesn’t want to keep in touch, leave it at that. If she does, get to know her better.

2) If she doesn’t agree to the coffee, leave it at that.

That is what the woman on that forum had told me.

I fully acknowledge that a lawyer would not lose his/her law license if he/she agrees to be friends/date/ or marry a convicted felon.

I understand that the issue would actually be uncomfortable if she was a government lawyer such as a prosecutor.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> On the other forum, two users didn’t even like my issue and I hadn’t even listed that I felt entitled.
> 
> Another user, who is apparently in her mid-30s stated that she is about to attend Law School and said that I needed to speak with the woman at least 2 more times and ask her to coffee.
> 
> ...


I do know there are many people who will lose their jobs for various association with felons. I just wonder why this woman has peaked your interest so.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> I do know there are many people who will lose their jobs for various association with felons. I just wonder why this woman has peaked your interest so.


This woman is absolutely amazing.....

No lawyer would lose his/her license for associating with a felon.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> This woman is absolutely amazing.....
> 
> No lawyer would lose his/her license for associating with a felon.


Amazing how?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Amazing how?


Her resume online is so amazing. I would be blessed to god if she associated with me despite my hiccup 9 years ago.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Her resume online is so amazing. I would be blessed to god if she associated with me despite my hiccup 9 years ago.


Her resume is amazing? Any chance you could elaborate a bit? Not pointing fingers but you didn’t spend years in prison over a hiccup.


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Her resume is amazing? Any chance you could elaborate a bit? Not pointing fingers but you didn’t spend years in prison over a hiccup.


1) She was a collegiate athlete.
2) She was top academically as it is stated online.
3) She graduated from Law School.
4) All the internships and employments that she has so far had according to the profile.

She is friends with people in the higher levels.


This woman is all-around amazing.

Hopefully she doesn’t judge me based on my past.

She of all people should know that good people make mistakes once in their lives and should be forgiven.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

This thread reads like a trip into crazytown.


----------



## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> 1) She was a collegiate athlete.
> 2) She was top academically as it is stated online.
> 3) She graduated from Law School.
> 4) All the internships and employments that she has so far had according to the profile.
> ...


Forgive me if I missed it...have you met her or had any interaction with her? Is she aware of you?


----------



## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Forgive me if I missed it...have you met her or had any interaction with her? Is she aware of you?


Yeah, I met her on Saturday Afternoon.

I was walking in the park and ran into her while she was walking her dog. Pretty cold outside.

Spoke to her for 20 minutes and the conversation went well.

Spending a couple of years in prison, I learned social cues than what I did before going to prison.

I then requested to follow her on her Private Instagram Account and she accepted my request.

I went on Google and typed her name andit popped up and just realized how amazing she is.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Yeah, I met her on Saturday Afternoon.
> 
> I was walking in the park and ran into her while she was walking her dog. Pretty cold outside.
> 
> ...


So you would like to pursue her in a romantic nature? Is she single?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> No, you don’t know anything.
> 
> Are you even well educated? Do you even have an undergraduate degree? Did you ever attend graduate school?
> 
> I don’t think so.


Point taken. So you don't want people responding to you to be blatantly stand-offish. Can you see where ^^this^^ response you gave to one of our members could be considered stand-offish? 

I'm suggesting some self reflection may be in order. You mentioned she could google you to find out about your prior conviction. If it's so easy to find this particular information, I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't be proud to call OSU your alma mater. I know several people who attended OSU. They're very proud of their affiliation with it.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> So you would like to pursue her in a romantic nature? Is she single?


Keep in mind, she accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account. According to the Instagram Account no boyfriend.

I looked her up on Facebook and didn’t see a boyfriend on there either.

However, yesterday I was checking my Instagram Account to see if I had any notifications from anybody and saw that she had posted an Instagram Story. She had taken a photo with a male bum lawyer in my city.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Keep in mind, she accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account. According to the Instagram Account no boyfriend.
> 
> I looked her up on Facebook and didn’t see a boyfriend on there either.
> 
> However, yesterday I was checking my Instagram Account to see if I had any notifications from anybody and saw that she had posted an Instagram Story. She had taken a photo with a male bum lawyer in my city.


Have you sent her a private message at all? Not entirely sure how Instagram works.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> Have you sent her a private message at all? Not entirely sure how Instagram works.


No, but I am hoping to wait next week to DM her and ask her to coffee.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> No, but I am hoping to wait next week to DM her and ask her to coffee.


So what is it that the folks at TAM can do for you? Seems you have the situation in hand. Personally I would like to know if a man was pursuing me he was honest and upfront from the get go. Hiding a felony conviction would not bode well. I always would not be surprised if she took a pass on you as a possible partner. I suppose it is part of the price one pays for committing a felony later on down the line.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

scarletandgrey said:


> I deserve her.


She is not a prize you get for turning your life around. She is a human being with her own thoughts and agency.



scarletandgrey said:


> The world did me wrong. All I am saying is that a stupid felony case from 2012 should not hold me back from getting to know her better.


The world did you wrong? YOU were the one who drove 950 miles to threaten a woman. The world reacted to your crime.



scarletandgrey said:


> I didn’t go to prison for the stalking charge because it was a misdemeanor. I went to prison because I not only threatened a woman but that POS Female judge told me that she was holding me to the fact that I took my car and drove 1000 miles.


Calling a member of the legal profession a POS demonstrates a lot of lingering hostility. Not good if you want to date a lawyer. Not to mention, it generates a lot of doubt as to the level of you having turned your life around.



scarletandgrey said:


> I have proved that I turned my life around by going back to school and earning my undergraduate and getting into my favorite school for graduate school.


If your crime was stalking and threatening a woman, to prove you have turned your life around, you need to demonstrate respect for women and their decisions, even if that decision is to have nothing to do with you. Upgrading your education doesn't prove you have turned your life around. It just proves you have academic intelligence.



scarletandgrey said:


> This is my redemption Story.
> 
> 1)Guy gets convicted of a felony and a misdemeanor and goes to prison.
> 
> ...


This sounds like you expect things to turn out like a romcom movie script. None of those four steps automatically lead to a step five of the woman being willing to date you. She may be a minor character in your redemption story right now, but it's up to HER if she becomes more or not.



scarletandgrey said:


> If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’ll leave it at that and drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.


Just because a woman doesn't want to date you, you'd leave your hardwon spot in your dream school program? That makes no logical sense. Her potential rejection of you should be just a minor event in the story of you. Don't let it derail your ambitions.



scarletandgrey said:


> I’m expecting her to give me a chance.


She doesn't owe you a chance. Sure, it would be nice if she did, but she doesn't owe you anything.



scarletandgrey said:


> If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I will drop out of my favorite school in graduate school.
> 
> I deserve a fresh chance.


Again, you don't deserve anything from her. She's not a prize you won. She's a human being and may reject you because she doesn't like the shape of your nose or something similarly random. And if she rejects you, don't let that derail your life plans. You cannot control her reaction to you. You CAN control your reaction to her reaction.



scarletandgrey said:


> 1) The only reason that I finished my undergraduate is so that I can attend my favorite school for graduate school.If this didn’t become an option, I would never have gone back to school.
> 
> 2) My undergraduate degree is different from what I am pursuing for my Masters.
> 
> ...


These are great plans and it sounds like you worked hard on school. But you can't write your life like a movie script and expect others to cooperate with it. Life isn't like the movies. Your hard work paid off with acceptance into the college program you wanted. But academic hard work does not automatically result in a girlfriend. NOTHING automatically results in a girlfriend.



scarletandgrey said:


> Yeah, I’m literally going to drop out of my favorite school if she doesn’t want anything to do with me.
> 
> You know nothing about me besides my criminal case.
> 
> ...


You're right, we know very little about you. But we DO KNOW that this woman is an independent human being with her own thoughts and plans and is not necessarily going to cooperate with yours. As you have a history of overreacting to women to such an extent that you spent five years in prison for it, we are observing the beginnings of repetition here, and are naturally concerned.



scarletandgrey said:


> It was a goal of mine to attend this school.
> 
> However, she earned her Law Degree from this school and if she turns me down, I’m going to seem like a failure.
> 
> ...


Just because she graduated from the school you are attending, she doesn't have to date you. There's no causal connection there at all. If she rejects your dating overtures, that's all it is. Lots of people get rejected when they approach potential dating partners. It's a very minor failure that happens to everyone. You are inflating it to catastrophizing levels by projecting the need to drop out of school if she won't date you.

Being determined is great in most aspects of life. But relationships isn't one of them. You can be determined as much as you want, and if the woman doesn't want to date you, persistence will lead to stalking charges and prison. Again, it doesn't seem like you learned from your first experience, or turned your life around.

Would you say "if it rains today, I'm going to drop out of school" or "if I miss the bus today, I'm going to drop out of school?" Being rejected in dating is just a minor adversity like any other. You recalibrate your route, and keep going. Maybe the next day will be sunny, and the bus will be perfectly on time. If this woman won't date you, maybe there's another woman in your future who will.



scarletandgrey said:


> Keep in mind, she accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account. According to the Instagram Account no boyfriend.
> 
> I looked her up on Facebook and didn’t see a boyfriend on there either.
> 
> However, yesterday I was checking my Instagram Account to see if I had any notifications from anybody and saw that she had posted an Instagram Story. She had taken a photo with a male bum lawyer in my city.


People curate their lives on social media. She may or may not have a boyfriend. She may or may not want to date you. But if she doesn't, for whatever reason that she may never explain to you, do yourself (and her) a favour, and just shrug it off and move along.

Why are you calling this friend of hers a bum lawyer? I'm not sure what that means to you, but it comes across as you being mad that she might have a fellow lawyer boyfriend, or more hostility against the legal profession.

She doesn't have to date you. She isn't a prize you deserve for getting out of prison, earning a degree, or being accepted into a post-grad program. She's just a person.

Does everyone deserve a chance? Sure. Do they always get one? Nope. Life isn't fair. You just have to shrug, let it go, and continue on with your day.

Anyways, the help you asked for was how to tell this woman about your conviction and your autism diagnosis. So the answer we're giving you is to FIRST, treat this woman like an independent human being who controls her own destiny, and not some accessory or reward in your destiny. She may not go along with your script. SECOND, if she's willing to hang out with you, let her know you're autistic immediately, because you probably come across in person the way you do here: with poor understanding of human nature and other people, and very obsessed with people behaving the way you want them to. She'll react better if she knows why. THIRD, after getting to know her a little as a friend, then you can open up about your background, including your conviction and time in prison.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You were jailed for stalking a woman. 

And you are stalking another woman.

This is not looking good.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> You were jailed for stalking a woman.
> 
> And you are stalking another woman.
> 
> This is not looking good.


I will treat her with the utmost respect. I will let her know that I made mistakes in my past that I can’t overturn.

I really want to get to know her better.

What will make this better is:

1) To attend my favorite school for graduate school.

2) To date this lawyer.

Then I can officially put what happened in 2012 behind me.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

OP; Forums like this offer a plethora of options/ideas ranging from WTF to OMG. It is up to you to pick the good from the bad.

My 2 cents is that these posts of yours seem extreme, dial it down, if we see it so will she. Please play it cool.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> *The people with the exception of 2 on that forum aren’t as judge mental as the people on this forum.*
> 
> How is this a forum to help someone?
> 
> Nobody has helped me out.....yet.


We're all judgemental including the people on the other board and yourself. You asked our opinion and we gave it. We have answered your follow up questions ...... which is more than what some paid therapists do. There is a range of behaviors and emotions that humans feel and it's nit very wide. We are telling you what you may experience with this woman. If she is doing well at her job, then i am sure that she is someone who is looking for a partnership in her important relationships. And remember lawyers do _due diligence._

Your claiming to turn down the acceptance to graduate school is childish and passive aggressive, you may find some people will agree with you that that was a good idea but it is not. I've been prey to that blame game as well. Now I can identify early and distance myself. I'm sure she knows to look out for that.

If I were to date a guy with mental problems I would need to know that he has a sponsor or mentor that I could speak with whenever I need assistance or just to report him. *I realize that while I want to empathize with those who have problems, I need to make sure that they don't become mine.*


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

NextTimeAround said:


> We're all judgemental including the people on the other board and yourself. You asked our opinion and we gave it. We have answered your follow up questions ...... which is more than what some paid therapists do. There is a range of behaviors and emotions that humans feel and it's nit very wide. We are telling you what you may experience with this woman. If she is doing well at her job, then i am sure that she is someone who is looking for a partnership in her important relationships. And remember lawyers do _due diligence._
> 
> Your claiming to turn down the acceptance to graduate school is childish and passive aggressive, you may find some people will agree with you that that was a good idea but it is not. I've been prey to that blame game as well. Now I can identify early and distance myself. I'm sure she knows to look out for that.
> 
> If I were to date a guy with mental problems I would need to know that he has a sponsor or mentor that I could speak with whenever I need assistance or just to report him. *I realize that while I want to empathize with those who have problems, I need to make sure that they don't become mine.*


I didn’t say that I would turn down the acceptance to my dream school for graduate school. I said that I would dropout if she doesn’t want to associate with me.

I start graduate school in the Fall. I’m not paying for the tuition, my family is.

It doesn’t hurt me one bit.

I love that school for the football, basketball, and Soccer.

I’m stuck with a graduate major that I really don’t want. The only reason that I chose it is because my favorite school didn’t have my undergraduate program as a Masters pro

My undergraduate degree was something much different than my Masters that I will pursue.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You have your plan. Regardless of what transpires, hope it works out for you.

There really isn't anything else here of value to discuss.

Thread closed.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

scarletandgrey said:


> I will put my focus on both graduate school and the woman. I was admitted to my favorite school and she earned her Law Degree from the school.
> 
> She should overlook my past because it was almost 9 years ago.
> 
> She should give me a chance. I made mistakes, who hasn’t?


You say that you got out of prison in 2017, but your stalking incident was 9 years ago. How many years were you in prison?


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