# Temptation



## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

If you were feeling low within your marriage and there had been a lack of attention by your spouse how would you react if a tempter/temptress came on to you very strongly?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'd keep my promise.


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## OutsideTheBox (May 13, 2012)

I agree with the above. I mean, of course its tempting, but I'm committed to someone else. I'd use the energy it would take to pursue an affair, and use it to work on my relationship


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

There are sure to be ups and downs in a marriage. I would not cheat just because I am not happy at present. If everyone did that everyone would be a cheater. For better or worse, I'd keep my promise.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

My marriage stunk the last few years. My husband was literally passed out drunk all weekend long. I could have cheated on him and he would never have had a clue; doubt he would have cared even if he knew.

Anyway, I wasn't going to even venture into that area. And, yeah, a few men came on to me. It didn't matter. I'm no saint, and I don't want it to sound like I am.

But I was married, and I wasn't going to wreck the vows I made to my husband in front of family and friends. To this day, almost three years after leaving him, I have never gone on a date, flirted with another man, or even gotten into any chat rooms (or whatever other stuff is out there). 

I live alone. I honor the vows. After the he!! my husband put me through, I have no interest in another relationship. I've lived long enough and been through enough.

Peaceful solitude and living alone works for me.

P.S. - I will always miss the man I fell in love with. I still dream about him occasionally, and wake up feeling the loss. Long time comin'. Long time gone.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I admit, I love it when a woman flirts with me.
However, there's only one woman that can have her way with me...


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I voted that i'd be flattered but laugh it off... then I'd ask myself why i was tempted (if i was)

I've worked in several workplaces that were male dominated and saw many many affairs going on... almost without exception they were unhappy marriages.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

I voted "walk away"... although I think I should have voted for "I would loose my temper"  

Well, I would get angry at the tempter if he came on to me very strongly *even after seeing my wedding ring!!* I would have considered it flattering if I was single. However I think it is wrong to try and tempt a married/committed woman even though she might not be entirely happy in her marriage. No matter how attractive or tempting this other guy might be, this flaw in his character of trying to lure a married woman is unappealing and unacceptable.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I was flattered and did laugh it off and I walked away. I walked right to my husband and told him so. The guy knew things were rough between my h and I (A close friend at the time was a bit of a gossip to the right people) I guess he figured he could temped me when I was weak because he could not get me before my H and I even were a couple. 

I think at some point I got mad as hell about it too but that was after learning that he had inside info on my marriage that he should not have had. Needless to say that friend/gossip is not my friend anymore.

I could have voted a couple ways I guess.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I believe I would be flattered, but I'd walk away.

Hard to answer 100% truthfully though unless I was ever in that situation, which is why I work to keep any such opportunity at bay.

The reason I'd walk away is partly out of devotion to my wife and children... knowing full well how much it would hurt all of them.

Another reason is for me I need to feel an emotional connection to have sex. I know that's not the answer a "guy" is supposed to give, but for me it's true. That sort of connection takes a long time to develop.

There are of course religious and other reasons... but those are the two that I can best explain quickly.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

I debated on my answer, between "walk away" and "flattering but laugh it off".

My real answer: The attention would be flattering, but I would walk away".


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I've lost my temper before.... If I'm upset about something I normally do NOT want to be bothered.. so being hit on was an insult in my mind because i was thinking... "Now why can't MY man do this.." then it was... "I just told this guy I was taken and he STILL continues? Disrespectful!!!" Or sometimes I just get plain out annoyed.


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## Cherie (May 9, 2012)

I have in the past, with a different spouce. My marriage was in dire straights and he had previously cheated. (not that it makes it ok, just easier to 'justify' in my head at the time) The guilt I have from even back then was not worth it. I could never do it now.

Temptation faces me from time to time now but b/c my marriage is solid and I have grown a lot, I am able to laugh it off.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

I like you Gaia..  

I am glad I am not the only one who wld loose temper


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

eowyn said:


> I like you Gaia..
> 
> I am glad I am not the only one who wld loose temper


lol thanks. I was beginning to think I was an oddball since I didn't see anyone else vote in that section.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

I would honor my vows and therefore work on my relationship. 

It would be impossible for me to say that I'd not be flattered or tempted. 

If I WAS feeling incredible temptation, it would be time to take a step back and ask WHY, but still not the time to break the vow. 

It's important to know when to keep your knickers on.


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

I voted for "I would walk away", but I'd most likely appreciate the attention, thank them for the flattery and _then_ walk away.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

I'd have to laugh it off. 

I try to not do things I'll severely regret later, and I don't think I would ever forgive myself for causing that type of pain to someone.


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## questar1 (Aug 4, 2011)

For 3 years of my marriage, we lived in separate states, 3,000 miles apart. A reasonably attractive local acquaintance spent considerable time convincing me most ardently that I had every reason to make him happy and "take care of myself" too--he was in an unhappy marriage and I was a lonely wife; he was there, and my husband was not, etc. And "no one would ever know."
Yeccch. 
His true colors came through when one day he pushed me up against a wall and started at my clothing.
I don't let guys in the house anymore and certainly don't bother entertaining trash talk. Trash is as trash does. At least that's what I call that kind of "temptation."


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I feel that I would crumble easily as it is rare that any woman pays anything more than professional courtesy to me. Also because when I am very, very angry at my W this is normally the time I desire sex the most, so if I was hit on at that time I would be easy meat for a predator.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I have been in this very situation. I found it flattering inside, however I completely walked away. I would never want to live with that guilt.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

*Dean* said:


> I would flirt back but it doesn't mean anything would go any further.
> 
> It would give a lift to my ego. Then I would walk away with a big smile on my face thinking........I still got it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Been there, done that.... and got me into trouble. I started out with that "innocent flirting" bs...I may get some people mad with this, but I learned from experience... when you are married, there IS NO innocent flirting.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm in a good place with my wife but recently a woman at work started paying attention to me. She was hanging around a lot, bringing me coffee and Thai treats (she's Thai). She was confiding a lot of home stuff to me. One day she asked me if I had ever cheated on my wife! WTF? I told her no. Then I told my wife everything she and I had talked about, everything she had done. I told my elders at church. I told my friends. I told HR. Everyone's advice was avoid her. So I did.

Apparently she got the same advice because the visits just stopped. Temptation, yes. Sin, no. It's all about boundaries baby!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Well I was feeling low in your marriage and there was been a lack of attention by my spouse...

I don't know how I would react to a temptress because I've never felt anything tempting at all - either I was oblivious or just no one was interested in tempting me.

I suspect I was just oblivious, and if they came on really strong I probably would fantasize about giving in especially if I thought I could keep it secret, however my default situation any time any woman has even caught my gaze has been to look down and walk the other way, and I don't see how the disrespect of being a cheater would have pushed me towards that at all, quite the opposite.

If loyalty is what you want I am one of the safest bets there is.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

If the temptation was holding a bottle of hot baby oil, a twister game and a spatula then yes it would be very difficult to walk away.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

RClawson said:


> If the temptation was holding a bottle of hot baby oil, a twister game and a spatula then yes it would be very difficult to walk away.


I think I need to suggest that hubby buy twister..... that actually sounds kinda interesting....:rofl:


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Way to go CA!


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## LeslieH (Apr 3, 2012)

lonesomegra said:


> I feel that I would crumble easily as it is rare that any woman pays anything more than professional courtesy to me. Also because when I am very, very angry at my W this is normally the time I desire sex the most, so if I was hit on at that time I would be easy meat for a predator.


OK, please don't go there. I gave in once and nothing but very bad things have happened as a result. I ruined my relationship, my husband, and my rep with the few people that know. If you're angry at your wife, tell her you are. Get into some counseling, but do not welcome or invite something like this. It may seem like harmless fantasy now, but it's absolute hell...not just for you but for everyone involved, including your wife.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I am giving as honest an answer as I can. It is just the way I feel at the moment. Hardly much chance of it happening - I am professionally ugly!!


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