# Maybe I'm wrong



## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

A while back I told my wife that I was lonely and felt ignored. She would spend all of her time playing games with the kids (and making sure to exclude me) or on her phone. I would hear all sorts of excuses as to why she had no time for me. After spending all day with her face glowing from electronics, she would come to bed and scroll her phone more. Then pass out. I suggested she spend a few minutes with me before she passed out instead of her phone, again heard excuses why not, like she uses her phone to wind down. (From spending the day staring at her phone, that's how she winds down?)
As the months go by the situation doesn't change, except now she complaines and laughs with her mother and friends how I'm too needy. Immature, selfish, childish, pathetic, and annoying are some of the things she would say about me. Wtf, all I was asking for was a little time with my wife!? Was feeling disconnected shouldn't I want to reconnect and stay close with my partner? More and more problems came up between us, and more and more issues I tried to work through the more got ignored. She was always to tired or to this or too that to talk about it today, then tomorrow never came. However the smallest thing that I did that annoyed her we had to discuss, and then she had to discuss it with all of her friends. I tried over and over to tell her I didn't like them all talking about me, my business is not theirs and neither is our marriage. She can talk all she wants about her business. Special days would come around where one would expect to spend some time with your significant other, like valentine's day; yet my wife would invite her bestfriend, in fact any chance we got to go out she was inviting her.
With everything going on she pushed and pushed for to get more time with her BFF and I pushed for a moment alone with her.
Eventually with all of our fighting, her hyperfocuson her BFF, I told her that I felt if she focused as much on our marriage as she did making time for her BFF we might find solutions to our problems. Still not a day goes by without her talking about her BFF. We don't talk about us or our lives, issues or problems I have, just her BFF and whatever I did wrong. More fighting leads me to tell her that I would like her to take a break from Her BFF to focus on our crumbling marriage before we didn't have one left. She threw me out of the house, then told her friends I snuck out and abandoned her and the kids. They then are incessantly texting me cussing me out calling me names extetra. She even asks for a divorce saying I told her she couldn't have friends and I gave her an ultimatum and she didn't choose me. That I was too controlling and mentally abusive!? A couple of days later her and I are talking and I come home, she turns around and plans time and then matching tattoos with her BFF. I was in and out of the house and our relationship a lot during this time, and even tho I told her I was upset that I was not a priority in her life, that everyone always came before me and took precident, that her going to get a tattoo during that time, especially when she and I never had the time to sit down and work through a lot of issues in our marriage, would really be a slap in the face and a constant reminder and didn't think our marriage could survive. She told me that the tattoo had nothing to do with me and didn't care if I wanted to leave her over it.
Her BFF has accused me of stealing from her, convinced her I am a narcissist, tried hooking her up with another guy, is rude and disrespectful, and encourages my wife to be towards me as well. However my wife is a controlling person naturally, and Im not allowed to say anything negative about her friends. I can't even tell my wife a secret about myself without her friends and family knowing about it. I just want her to understand why I'm upset, and she can't even begin to. She gets mad that I'm upset when she tells me she's going to dinner with her BFF and comes home six hours later, even when she knows I'm home sick alone with the kids a d a pounding migraines. Or tells me she will do whatever she wants weather I like it or not.
We have been trying to stay together and work on things for the last couple of months, her friends have since blocked me on Facebook and still make comments, still try to convince her I'm a piece of ****, that they don't know why she puts up with me.
I've never tried to tell her she can't be friends with anyone, or spend time with them, yes I have said that I don't even like she talks to them or texts them constantly. She doesn't understand my problem, do I have no right to be upset that I can't even ask not to hear her say her friends name for one day? What can I tell her to help her understand my distance?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

J10r said:


> A while back I told my wife that I was lonely and felt ignored. She would spend all of her time playing games with the kids (and making sure to exclude me) or on her phone. I would hear all sorts of excuses as to why she had no time for me. After spending all day with her face glowing from electronics, she would come to bed and scroll her phone more. Then pass out. I suggested she spend a few minutes with me before she passed out instead of her phone, again heard excuses why not, like she uses her phone to wind down. (From spending the day staring at her phone, that's how she winds down?)
> As the months go by the situation doesn't change, except now she complaines and laughs with her mother and friends how I'm too needy. Immature, selfish, childish, pathetic, and annoying are some of the things she would say about me. Wtf, all I was asking for was a little time with my wife!? Was feeling disconnected shouldn't I want to reconnect and stay close with my partner? More and more problems came up between us, and more and more issues I tried to work through the more got ignored. She was always to tired or to this or too that to talk about it today, then tomorrow never came. However the smallest thing that I did that annoyed her we had to discuss, and then she had to discuss it with all of her friends. I tried over and over to tell her I didn't like them all talking about me, my business is not theirs and neither is our marriage. She can talk all she wants about her business. Special days would come around where one would expect to spend some time with your significant other, like valentine's day; yet my wife would invite her bestfriend, in fact any chance we got to go out she was inviting her.
> With everything going on she pushed and pushed for to get more time with her BFF and I pushed for a moment alone with her.
> Eventually with all of our fighting, her hyperfocuson her BFF, I told her that I felt if she focused as much on our marriage as she did making time for her BFF we might find solutions to our problems. Still not a day goes by without her talking about her BFF. We don't talk about us or our lives, issues or problems I have, just her BFF and whatever I did wrong. More fighting leads me to tell her that I would like her to take a break from Her BFF to focus on our crumbling marriage before we didn't have one left. She threw me out of the house, then told her friends I snuck out and abandoned her and the kids. They then are incessantly texting me cussing me out calling me names extetra. She even asks for a divorce saying I told her she couldn't have friends and I gave her an ultimatum and she didn't choose me. That I was too controlling and mentally abusive!? A couple of days later her and I are talking and I come home, she turns around and plans time and then matching tattoos with her BFF. I was in and out of the house and our relationship a lot during this time, and even tho I told her I was upset that I was not a priority in her life, that everyone always came before me and took precident, that her going to get a tattoo during that time, especially when she and I never had the time to sit down and work through a lot of issues in our marriage, would really be a slap in the face and a constant reminder and didn't think our marriage could survive. She told me that the tattoo had nothing to do with me and didn't care if I wanted to leave her over it.
> ...


If she's not putting time into the relationship, it's time to move on. 
If you let her keep it up, your name will be mud in your town and that could pose problems for your job prospects, especially if your job is dependent upon having a clean record. 
See the lawyer first opportunity and get the papers ready, she's not going to change. Her time with her BFF is probably being spent with somebody else and she wants you to move on.


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## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

She does put in more effort, for theast couple of months to make me feel loved so that's good. And I know there isn't anyone else, and that she is spending time with her BFF.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

J10r said:


> She does put in more effort, for theast couple of months to make me feel loved so that's good. And I know there isn't anyone else, and that she is spending time with her BFF.


I don't know if she is spending time with her BFF. Who knows what happens, once they turn the corner and out of sight? She might be playing accomplice. 

Tell her what you want the best relationship possible and you'd do anything, but you need what you need met in order to be in a relationship with her.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Your wife is re-writing your marital history to everyone -- this MAY be a precursor to HER deciding to divorce.
Her BFF is certainly NO friend of the marriage, and it seems your wife has poisoned MANY other friends with this misinformation.
YOU need to put out what YOUR issues are to them (at least the folks you care about) so that the story isn't so 1 sided.
I hate to say this, but without her wanting to work on anything, YOU should start working on the 180 so that you can detach from her. Start working out, start doing your OWN thing -- and stop doing everything for your wife. This is for YOUR protection -- improve yourself (FOR yourself, not her or your marriage), be with your kids and get close to them (she is probably dissing you with them also).
You MAY want to see a lawyer or two just to see what divorce would look like for you financially/child support and custody, etc.. I am NOT saying you should divorce yet, but you should look in to ALL of the angles on this.

VERY sorry you are being treated this way.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

She treats you horribly. Divorce her.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I don't know why you are even asking about the "relationship". You should be asking about divorce.


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## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

J10r said:


> A while back I told my wife that I was lonely and felt ignored. She would spend all of her time playing games with the kids (and making sure to exclude me) or on her phone. I would hear all sorts of excuses as to why she had no time for me. After spending all day with her face glowing from electronics, she would come to bed and scroll her phone more. Then pass out. I suggested she spend a few minutes with me before she passed out instead of her phone, again heard excuses why not, like she uses her phone to wind down. (From spending the day staring at her phone, that's how she winds down?)
> As the months go by the situation doesn't change, except now she complaines and laughs with her mother and friends how I'm too needy. Immature, selfish, childish, pathetic, and annoying are some of the things she would say about me. Wtf, all I was asking for was a little time with my wife!? Was feeling disconnected shouldn't I want to reconnect and stay close with my partner? More and more problems came up between us, and more and more issues I tried to work through the more got ignored. She was always to tired or to this or too that to talk about it today, then tomorrow never came. However the smallest thing that I did that annoyed her we had to discuss, and then she had to discuss it with all of her friends. I tried over and over to tell her I didn't like them all talking about me, my business is not theirs and neither is our marriage. She can talk all she wants about her business. Special days would come around where one would expect to spend some time with your significant other, like valentine's day; yet my wife would invite her bestfriend, in fact any chance we got to go out she was inviting her.
> With everything going on she pushed and pushed for to get more time with her BFF and I pushed for a moment alone with her.
> Eventually with all of our fighting, her hyperfocuson her BFF, I told her that I felt if she focused as much on our marriage as she did making time for her BFF we might find solutions to our problems. Still not a day goes by without her talking about her BFF. We don't talk about us or our lives, issues or problems I have, just her BFF and whatever I did wrong. More fighting leads me to tell her that I would like her to take a break from Her BFF to focus on our crumbling marriage before we didn't have one left. She threw me out of the house, then told her friends I snuck out and abandoned her and the kids. They then are incessantly texting me cussing me out calling me names extetra. She even asks for a divorce saying I told her she couldn't have friends and I gave her an ultimatum and she didn't choose me. That I was too controlling and mentally abusive!? A couple of days later her and I are talking and I come home, she turns around and plans time and then matching tattoos with her BFF. I was in and out of the house and our relationship a lot during this time, and even tho I told her I was upset that I was not a priority in her life, that everyone always came before me and took precident, that her going to get a tattoo during that time, especially when she and I never had the time to sit down and work through a lot of issues in our marriage, would really be a slap in the face and a constant reminder and didn't think our marriage could survive. She told me that the tattoo had nothing to do with me and didn't care if I wanted to leave her over it.
> ...


Saying this as nicely as possible:
You let HER kick you out of your own house.
She constantly attacks you and runs you down with her friends, she gives zero to the relationship, and has shown she is vindicuu to I’ve as hell by accusing you of abandonment and this and that.

Exactly what could happen that would induce you to get a little righteous anger and take care of yourself by dumping this person?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

J10r said:


> The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


No, you’ve chosen a lifetime of getting walked on. You’re a huge doormat. Do you have a BFF? If so, you’d have a huge knot on your head from the 2x4 he’d hit you with to knock you back into your senses.
Is this how you would counsel your kids— to stay in a marriage like your own?


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

J10r said:


> The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


As others have said she is setting you up to be the villain in her story. I also doubt she is spending all this time with this chick. As you've said this woman has tried to hook your wife up with a guy, I'm sure that's a constant thing because YOU are the bad guy.

Get out while you still can.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

J10r said:


> The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


Why are you even asking for advice or input?

Your wife is a horrible, awful, subpar partner, nothing is going to change that, your marriage sounds like a living hell, but you're going to stay in it no matter what. That's why she doesn’t give a **** and just does whatever she wants.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I just joined this discussion.
Now,_ I am out of sorts_ and _disjointed_.

When a single man faces a small army, those who are his obvious enemies, he is smart in removing himself from the fighting.

There is no winning this battle, with her and her friends.

Why would you even want to?

I would bide my time, amass enough funds to tide me over for a few months.

Then, I would move two thousand miles away from this band of weasels.

I would grey rock this foul, fowl of a stinking goose.

Who cares what they would think?
Can it be any worse than it presently stinks?



_Harken-_


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

J10r said:


> She does put in more effort, for theast couple of months to make me feel loved so that's good. And I know there isn't anyone else, and that she is spending time with her BFF.


How do you know this?
Have you done the appropriate homework to be able to determine this with certainty?


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

J10r said:


> The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


And you seriously believe this?
If you had physical evidence to prove what you have stated in this thread, you could probably successfully advance a claim for mental cruelty.
Regardless of whether you want to stay with her or not, you need to put her attitude in a full nelson.
You need to find a barracuda of an attorney and have her served,
Study up on and implement the 180. Make her stay home and babysit your kids, while you go out and have 6 hour "Dinners."
Be the person she always wanted. Make sure she knows that she is not going to have him.
Take charge of your situation! Improve your plight! Break her down!
If you decide you want to keep her (and I certainly can't understand why you would want to administer that kind of self abuse on yourself,) the BFF goes away (she probably is the source of much of your problems.) In addition, tell her that she can have the BFF tat removed at her expense.
If you both want to stay together, make her earn her way back and do the hard work along the way.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

J10r said:


> *The two of us have decided to honor our promises "till death*, and try to work things out. But she's mad that I don't support her friendship and get upset everytime she goes out with her or even talks about her.


Have you forgotten the other promises, to love, honor and cherish? She's not doing any of those so maybe you decided to honor your promises but she sure has not. You are in this situation because you allow it.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

The other thing to note -- she does NOT respect you AT ALL -- i.e. the crap she is feeding her friends and family about you...


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

J10r said:


> She does put in more effort, for theast couple of months to make me feel loved so that's good. And I know there isn't anyone else, and that she is spending time with her BFF.


Know? It doesn't sound like you know. 

Why do you put up with this on going crapola. That's on you. 
PS I thought about being tactful but believe a direct blunt answer is best.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

She might be a lesbian and has something going on with this woman. Whether emotional or physical. But I get the sense it's probably more about your behavior. Like a school boy at the ice cream truck with no money, you just keep asking nicely over and over again for what you want while she tells you no. And you accept it. 

Notice how this friend tried to set her up with other guys? She's being a strong leader, something you're not. She's not asking, she's telling and doing. You're being outmanned by her female BFF. And your wife has way more respect for that then she does for you.

From now on, instead of asking nicely, tell your wife to get off the phone and spend some time with you. If she balks or doesn't listen, tell her she has two choices. To start listening or to start the divorce process. And have the courage and balls to follow through. Take a page from the BFF's book.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

The bff would be told to stay off my property and I wouldn't care what wifey thought of it. I'd also be talking to a lawyer and demanding marriage counceling as a last attempt at getting your wife's head out of her butt. Your day to day life sounds horrible.
Honestly, I don't know how you can even stand to breath the same air as a woman who would tell tales and trash you to all of her friends.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

gaius said:


> From now on, instead of asking nicely, tell your wife to get off the phone and spend some time with you. If she balks or doesn't listen, tell her she has two choices. To start listening or to start the divorce process. And have the courage and balls to follow through. Take a page from the BFF's book.


But that's the problem. OP will not do a thing. Life will continue as is.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

The fact your W posted a competing thread after she saw this pretty much tells us all everything we need to know.

Get out of this miserable marriage.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

His wife is a monster.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Gabriel said:


> The fact your W posted a competing thread after she saw this pretty much tells us all everything we need to know.
> 
> Get out of this miserable marriage.


?? Did I miss something?? Reference please?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

jlg07 said:


> ?? Did I miss something?? Reference please?


Read "Maybe he's wrong" by @Mrs10


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Plus Op's wife kick him out of his home. How could he just tuck his tail between his legs and meekly leave? She is what she is now because OP apparently never had the balls to be strong and she carries the pants. Like she said "No one gives me an ultimatum" so unless, OP expands and tells why she can treat him the way she does (and he allows her), I guess we'll never know, specially now that she posted about his post, and probably already muzzled him.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

How old and how many kids? I loved being with my bffs!! But that’s when I was young, and before I was married. If my husband ‘let me’ and yes, I say let me, go out with my bffs I’d be worried about him and our marriage.

And if I was going out all the time with my besties as much as your wife, I’d be very worried about myself.

For the record, even if I told my besties about my husband’s stuff, even if he was abusing me, my besties aren’t the type of women that would be harassing him.

Firstly, my besties would pull me into line about speaking unfavourably about my husband. That’s the kind of crew I hang with.

Your wife has forgotten she’s a mother and wife? I’m all for the sisterhood and we women do need our girl time especially when kids and husbands come along, but not that frequently.


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## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

Rob_1 said:


> Plus Op's wife kick him out of his home. How could he just tuck his tail between his legs and meekly leave? She is what she is now because OP apparently never had the balls to be strong and she carries the pants. Like she said "No one gives me an ultimatum" so unless, OP expands and tells why she can treat him the way she does (and he allows her), I guess we'll never know, specially now that she posted about his post, and probably already muzzled him.


The house is a peice of **** that no one wants, it's owned by her family and has been for generations. So yes I left the home but also left her to figure out how to pay the bills while I had a great vacation and a nice party weekend.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Years ago when we were in MC because my wife was giving more time and attention to everything and everyone in the world but me, she complained that I was ‘needy.’

I said that yes I was needy in the sense that in order for me to be married with someone and have a home and family with them, that I “NEED” to have them interact with me on a personal and intimate level with me even if for just a few minutes out of the day where they aren’t on their phone seeing what other people are eating for dinner and sitting watching people sing in front of judges on TV. 

If someone can’t or doesn’t want to interact with me as humans for 5 minutes out of a 24 hour day, that is their perogative but that’s not what I want out of life and prefer each of us move on. 

The beauty of that whole scenario is the MC then turned to her and we both sat there looking at her waiting her response. 

I am convinced she truly thought the MC would tell me my request was unreasonable and tell me to back off and leave her alone. 

She was actually gobsmacked that the MC told her my wants and needs were reasonable and that I had just cause to dissolve the marriage and move on. 

She had truly come to believe that my role in the cosmos was to serve her and the family and her friends and relatives and neighbors and the people down the street for nothing in return. 

She was downright angry and resentful towards me and maybe even more angry towards the MC that he had the gall to support that I had needs too.


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## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

"We" have quit 3 marriage counselors because they weren't the right fit." Or " they don't understand her."......


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

@J10r: why don't you start from the beginnings. Tells how this relationship deteriorated to this point? did it start after you became disabled and become the stay at home parent or before? what kind of disability do you have? do you have any income at all coming into the household, like disability compensation? if she spends the whole day sleeping and doing nothing like you said, who's working? who's bringing the money home? how you two can support a family? this would help to really give better opinions rather than shots in the dark based on a little of information.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

J10r said:


> "We" have quit 3 marriage counselors because they weren't the right fit." Or " they don't understand her."......


They ‘understand’ her very well. 

She just doesn’t like what they say. 

If there’s anything the counselors don’t understand, it is probably why you stay and put up with her.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

How do the finances work? Are either of you employed?


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## Mrs10 (Oct 25, 2021)

I as a registered nurse for a hospice, I lucked into a position where I only work Friday Saturday and Sunday overnights and still receive my full generous salary working from home answering calls and dispatching traveling nurses. He doesn't take my job seriously because between calls I'm allowed to sleep, so I do. He says I only actually do 6 hours of work a week, why does it matter I still bring home enough money for him to make sure all the bills are paid and we don't want for much. He has been in upper management most of his life, as he aged a few of his medical conditions worsened, migraines for one would make it difficult to go into work everyday. Especially since he would work 12 hour days and shut down when he got home. So, when I got my new job and salary and we finally conceived, we had a discussion, with the cost of daycare and limited other options, it made sense for him to stay at home. Especially since he had always wanted to be a SAHD, ( his education is in early childhood education) The problem became I'm home all day too and he expects me to help him with everything. No sir that's your job, I have my own.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You shouldn’t have to beg for time with your wife. If you chase they always move farther away.

Down load and read “No More Mr Nice Guy” by glover. It’s a free pdf and short. It only works if you apply it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mrs10 said:


> I as a registered nurse for a hospice, I lucked into a position where I only work Friday Saturday and Sunday overnights and still receive my full generous salary working from home answering calls and dispatching traveling nurses. He doesn't take my job seriously because between calls I'm allowed to sleep, so I do. He says I only actually do 6 hours of work a week, why does it matter I still bring home enough money for him to make sure all the bills are paid and we don't want for much. He has been in upper management most of his life, as he aged a few of his medical conditions worsened, migraines for one would make it difficult to go into work everyday. Especially since he would work 12 hour days and shut down when he got home. So, when I got my new job and salary and we finally conceived, we had a discussion, with the cost of daycare and limited other options, it made sense for him to stay at home. Especially since he had always wanted to be a SAHD, ( his education is in early childhood education) The problem became I'm home all day too and he expects me to help him with everything. No sir that's your job, I have my own.


If you work 3 nights a week as well as answering calls etc, how can that be only 6 hours a week?


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Mrs10 said:


> I as a registered nurse for a hospice, I lucked into a position where I only work Friday Saturday and Sunday overnights and still receive my full generous salary working from home answering calls and dispatching traveling nurses. He doesn't take my job seriously because between calls I'm allowed to sleep, so I do. He says I only actually do 6 hours of work a week, why does it matter I still bring home enough money for him to make sure all the bills are paid and we don't want for much. He has been in upper management most of his life, as he aged a few of his medical conditions worsened, migraines for one would make it difficult to go into work everyday. Especially since he would work 12 hour days and shut down when he got home. So, when I got my new job and salary and we finally conceived, we had a discussion, with the cost of daycare and limited other options, it made sense for him to stay at home. Especially since he had always wanted to be a SAHD, ( his education is in early childhood education) The problem became I'm home all day too and he expects me to help him with everything. No sir that's your job, I have my own.


So how many hours would you say you are actually working per week. Curious.


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## Mrs10 (Oct 25, 2021)

Gabriel said:


> So how many hours would you say you are actually working per week. Curious.


36


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## Mrs10 (Oct 25, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> If you work 3 nights a week as well as answering calls etc, how can that be only 6 hours a week?


Because I nap between those calls.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mrs10 said:


> Because I nap between those calls.


The three evenings alone must be a fair number of hours surely.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Mrs10 said:


> Because I nap between those calls.


Not counting naps, how many hours do you work a week?

You said 36 before....how many of those hours are naps?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She lucked into a job that allows her to nap in between calls. So what? She's still getting paid and is expected to be available without notice during her shift. What about firemen/women? They aren't putting out fires every minute of their shift. Maybe they should take the dirty dishes to work and wash them in their down time.

It's the old 'oh, you work from home so you have time to do housework' routine. If she was off premises, she wouldn't be available to help him with his job.


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## J10r (Oct 24, 2021)

And when the fire fighters aren't on shift and are at home do they get to not do anything to help around the house? If I worked outside of the house, would I still be expected to do it all or could I also not pitch in at all. Then there's the issue with the children. Yes my job is currently primary caregiver. Primary doesn't mean solo... having a stay at home parent doesn't mean you never have to change a diaper or kiss a boo boo.


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