# cheated on, falling out of love slowly



## tolerant (Mar 16, 2013)

My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for 7 of those years, he have cheated on me with a woman he now have 2 kids with, i have 2 kids, pregnant with 3rd, i consider myself a fool, i stayed in this marriage hoping that one day he will leave her, Last year was the worst of my marriage he accused me of cheating, beaten me and called me names, i tried to leave after the beating but he begged me to stay, for the sake of my kids i stayed

Now i am really falling out of love with him, every day the pain becomes worse than before, i do not miss him when he is away, he have been a good father, i feel for my kids but everyday i wish i did not marry him .everytime he touches me the first thought is he is using the same hands he use touch her and doing everything he does to her. 

your advise is needed


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Please leave, you say you stayed for the kids, but what are you teaching them? They are seeing you being taken advantage of, beaten and cheated on. Teach them the lesson of self love and respect. I think all of you will be happier and your children will look up to you instead of repeating his and your mistakes. Heard of he cycle of abuse? You can break it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

By the way a good father does not cheat on his family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Do I understand correctly that he is currently cheating openly as well as being with you? So he has his cake and is eating it too? He can only do this because you allow it. If he's not remorseful, if he won't leave his other woman then you can't even think about reconciling with him. You need to get a lawyer and file for divorce asap.


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## tolerant (Mar 16, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Do I understand correctly that he is currently cheating openly as well as being with you? So he has his cake and is eating it too? He can only do this because you allow it. If he's not remorseful, if he won't leave his other woman then you can't even think about reconciling with him. You need to get a lawyer and file for divorce asap.


yes, that is right and you are right i now more than ever feel that i have unintentionally encouraged him, i stayed after all years of pain i tried not to give up on my marriage, i thought i would be walking out of it too early,and when i look back i should have walked away long time ago, i also have realized that walking out of marriage is not like going to the shops,it is not so easy


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Please get yourself to a domestic violence shelter for battered women and children. You husband is not of a sound mind & you need to protect your children & yourself.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

tolerant said:


> My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for 7 of those years, he have cheated on me with a woman he now have 2 kids with, i have 2 kids, pregnant with 3rd, i consider myself a fool, i stayed in this marriage hoping that one day he will leave her, Last year was the worst of my marriage he accused me of cheating, beaten me and called me names, i tried to leave after the beating but he begged me to stay, for the sake of my kids i stayed
> 
> Now i am really falling out of love with him, every day the pain becomes worse than before, i do not miss him when he is away, he have been a good father, i feel for my kids but everyday i wish i did not marry him .everytime he touches me the first thought is he is using the same hands he use touch her and doing everything he does to her.
> 
> your advise is needed



For the sake of your kids????? Your kids are learning that how you are treated is how a wife should be treated. That should be all you need to hit the road.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> For the sake of your kids????? Your kids are learning that how you are treated is how a wife should be treated. That should be all you need to hit the road.


Exactly. In this case, you aren't doing your kids any favors. It has been proven that children are better off with a two parent household. That should be taken with a grain of salt because these versions would be more accurate:

It has been proven that children are *generally* better off with a two parent household.

It has been proven that children are better off with a two parent household *that isn't toxic.*

Your job as a parent is to prepare your kids to become adults ... to give them the tools they need to navigate challenges and make good decisions. Their understanding of the marital relationship is largely based on the example you provide in the home. What are you teaching them with your relationship? You can successfully prepare them for life in a single parent household.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

I hope you've told your doctor about his affair, because you are at risk of getting any number of STDs and that is not only a problem for your health, but also for the health of your baby. Get tested for STDs if you haven't already. Regardless of the results, DO NOT have sex with him EVER again. Call your local YWCA, or tell your gynecologist (I hope you are getting prenatal care). They can help you find the resources you need to get away from this abusive situation. Do it for your kids if not for yourself.


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