# Situation advice



## julieandrews (Feb 24, 2011)

Please do not judge my character after reading this email . I have come here for advice. If people can understand my hopeless situation then please help.
I am a 40 year old mother married for the past 10 years. I married the love of my life after a long courtship of 12 years which resulted in the birth of a Son. My Son is 19 years old now. I had to bring my son on my own literally as my partner and now husband would often travel. Although now both of us are settled and do not travel at all . My son is going to college and is a very good looking boy. 
I have started having some serious issues of myself about him. Apparently it started one afternoon during his birthday party when one of my neighbors who is a women commented that my son is so gorgeous that he can have any women he wants. I blushed felt proud of him and then started noticing how gorgeous he really had become. I was happy to know that he wants to be a Doctor ironically a OBGYN . He is not the perfect child as he has his moments of Rage but since two years he cooled down. 
Around these past 6-7 months I now have began to imagine him kissing me. I also began to have sexual feelings for him since the past 6-7 months. Apparently he does not even roam without his shirt on when I am around, I also try to be a good mother by dressing appropriately but those feelings will not go away. My sexual life is good. It has been active, but now I am imagining him doing it to me. These feelings of unspeakable guilt are killing me. I do not know what to do . I am ashamed of myself, I cannot even talk this to anyone. If this is infatuation why is this so long? Do I need to go away from the house? Why did these creepy feelings come inside my head. I also did not notice him showing any uncanny interest towards me. Is this age of modernism am I loosing it? 

I know the fault is with me but these feelings are just killing me. 
Please suggest appropriately . I know I need help but would like to know from any mother /father who might have been in my situation.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Therapy


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

If you're on birth control pills they tend to alter your sexual attraction away from people that are a good immunological genetic cross-match for you, toward people that have a close genetic similarity to you. Your son would match you very closely.

Otherwise if you're not on birth control pills... may just be a weird thing that comes and goes. As long as you don't have sex with your son or get weird on him, it's fairly harmless in that it's just attraction.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

There is never anything wrong with feelings--it's what we do about feelings that matter.

Definitely get counseling b/c your guilt about this attraction may destroy you. In counseling, you may find the root of the attraction and get help dealing with it. You do not need to be embarrrassed b/c therapists have seen everything; the only shame would come in acting on your feelings b/c that would be damaging to your son and probably to your future mental health, too.

So please, get help. You will feel so much better for doing so. You do not deserve to suffer the torture of guilt, and guilt could undermine all the things that are truly good in your life.


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

I'm reiterating woodstock and sister359, get therapy now. 

It's wrong. Very wrong.


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