# Conversation to be had...



## thinkingthrough (Jan 14, 2013)

So, I'm unhappy in my marriage. I don't feel loved and respected. I do virtually everything around the house and getting my husband to do anything, even helping out with our son, requires me to pretty much beg for help.
We are very functional - we don't talk about stuff that's going on in our lives.
Our sex life is non existent and has been like that basically since I was pregnant with our son. When I was 4 month pregnant my husband confessed that he had been unfaithful. Since then I haven't been able to trust him. It has also made me even more like an object.
He also is on the computer all the time when he's at home either watching TV shows, movies, porn or playing computer games!
My husband likes to spend money too and now we have no savings left. So, I can't trust him with money either!
He knows that I don't trust in most areas as I told him that some months ago. I just don't think I can keep living like this.
I'm going to be talking to him about all of this and telling him that I need space to allow for thinking time and perhaps some marriage counselling too. I'm not sure how effective that will be because so many times in the past he has said he will change and do this and that, but he either doesn't, or he does and it lasts a week.
I feel as though it has gone past repair from my perspective and I think we would both be better off separating.
Anyone have any words of advice on how to approach this situation? I have lots of ideas in my head, but it's not an easy thing to do!


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Maybe some time apart will help. Sounds like he has no respect for you.


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## behappy123 (Jan 5, 2013)

I do not blame you for feeling resentful and feeling like you can't do it anymore. It sounds like your husband has a lot of problems that he and both of you need to address. MC would definitely be a good start and maybe some IC too so he can work on his problems and you can work on the forgiveness aspect. 

In order for you to be able to forgive him, there needs to be some major ground rules that he is going to have to do adhere too and accept.


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## janachic15 (Jan 15, 2013)

I hear you here with certain things. My husband is a very sweet guy but we have zero sex life and we don't even have kids. We are more like friends or roommates that just happen to share the same bed and tube of toothpaste. We've gone to marriage counseling and I still feel unhappy. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Like MSC said, maybe some time apart (a month or more) may help you clear your head and make some decisions that are needed.


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