# What have you learned?



## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

Or hope to learn.

From being on TAM I've learned I can get to know the other members quickly by clicking on their profile and looking at all the threads they start. Just by reading the titles I have a decent understanding about who this person is and what is important to them. 

Human behavior fascinates me.


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

I've learned a lot more about how some men think and what they want out of a relationship. TAM has also helped me to reflect on my own mistakes and what I did wrong in the past. 

I am also now a bit worried that everyone is either BPD or a narcissist! Jeez! I never realized how many of these types are around.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Sorry I know you posted to Ladies but I have learned a lot myself. Not sure if I can put it all in words right now but this below is the most important.

BUT, I always knew my wife was wonderful. Wow is she ever. I chose well.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It has taught me to be grateful for the values I grew up with and the relationship I now have.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I have learnt a huge amount about men and relationships here. It is extremely valuable and empowering information for me.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I've learned how important it is for each spouse to maintain their sense of themselves for themselves. To pursue activities individually in order to make yourself a more rounded person, to bring vitality to the relationship that is always evolving.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I've learned quite a lot on TAM.

But like Entropy said, the more I read TAM, the more I love and appreciate the type of woman my wife is.
She is a _good_ woman.
The type that any man would want for a wife.
Every day I make it my duty to treat her special.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

I also learned to appreciate my marriage more on TAM. I've been on other forums where marriage wasn't the main subject and I walked away feeling empty. From being on TAM I realize that my marriage is the most precious thing I have and when I take it for granted I do a lot of damage. Sometimes I forget how lonely I was when I was single and how much I dreamed about having what I have now. It's sort of scary to me admitting that I have something good. I feel once I say that, it'll be taken away.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Enchanted said:


> Sometimes I forget how lonely I was when I was single and how much I dreamed about having what I have now. *It's sort of scary to me admitting that I have something good. I feel once I say that, it'll be taken away.
> *


Well why are you scared?
I think its supposed to work the other way around.
The more you talk about the positives , especially if its true, you reaffirm how much it means to you.

And i agree with the last sentence in your opening post.

Human behaviour fascinates me too!


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well why are you scared?
> I think its supposed to work the other way around.
> The more you talk about the positives , especially if its true, you reaffirm how much it means to you.
> 
> ...


I don't know why I feel this way? It's almost as if I admit I have something nice, good, valuable then something evil in this world will swoop down and steal it from me. I know it doesn't make sense but I still feel that way.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I've learned that I'm not as normal as I thought when it comes to my views on sex,love,and men.
I've learned to appreciate my SO even more than I did before.


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

TAM has reinforced my belief that in many ways I don't act or think like a woman. I may dress and behave in a generally feminine manner but on an emotional level other women will always be a mystery to me. 

Definitely increased my appreciation of hubby too, he may not be perfect and he definitely isn't everyone's cup of tea but he is mine.


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

Enchanted said:


> I don't know why I feel this way? It's almost as if I admit I have something nice, good, valuable then something evil in this world will swoop down and steal it from me. I know it doesn't make sense but I still feel that way.


Makes perfect sense to me


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Enchanted said:


> I don't know why I feel this way? It's almost as if I admit I have something nice, good, valuable then something evil in this world will swoop down and steal it from me. I know it doesn't make sense but I still feel that way.


So is it that you fear the unknown , that you would become a statistic or a victim of circumstance....
A casualty of Murphy's law?


"..._*We all have a fear of the unknown what one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world*_....”
Lillian Russell.


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I don't think I've learned anything here.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

Tigger said:


> I don't think I've learned anything here.


Then you need to post more.


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> So is it that you fear the unknown , that you would become a statistic or a victim of circumstance....
> A casualty of Murphy's law?
> 
> 
> ...


Its just a feeling


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> So is it that you fear the unknown , that you would become a statistic or a victim of circumstance....
> A casualty of Murphy's law?
> 
> 
> ...


It probably has something to do with childhood upbringing and trust issues.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Enchanted said*: Human behavior fascinates me.


I've felt this way since I was very young ~ admitted Psych Nut here. 



Excuse me for continually gushing about my husband, but honestly, I originally landed here in hopes to change HIM, UP some aggressiveness bedroom Play..* what I learned was*... I had just as much capability to take on that role...so what makes the difference... Other than we're a little backwards...

*The more I read*....the greater my appreciation & thankfulness grew for what I had at home...like wildfire even.... in so many areas ~ that I basically took for granted...shame on me ! It was a real eye opener... 

One thread I did (and deleted) on Men who LOVE "the Chase"/ those Aggressive types ...I came to learn they PREFER "subtle" over a woman coming on to them in the bedroom...had I married one of those... I would feel "Caged"/ having to push a part of myself down to aid to HIS desire... Screw that -- so my nice sweet Introverted Pleasing Lover is perfect for who I am .

*I learned* those who hold Older Fashioned / More Traditional type views on Dating / Sex & Marriage are so far in the minority here...with numerous cutting jokes in social about our type being archaic, living in the 1920's/30's/40's "Leave it to Beaver" mentality. It is disheartening to me.

*I learned *I am just plain WEIRD, cause I prefer men tipped Beta over Alpha. I doubt any man has the perfect balance....and in my book... this is still Ok. 

From reading all the put downs on Clingy people, I've come to the conclusion me & my mine are more clingy than most would be able to stomach (though it has nothing to do with insecurity).... 







We simply enjoy the Ball & chain of Matrimony.


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I've felt this way since I was very young ~ admitted Psych Nut here.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I was old fashion when it came to dating. I didn't call boys. Things like opening my car door was important. I dated in the 90's when women started to pay for dates, I never paid for a date in my life. My mom taught me to be this way and I liked it.

I'm very clingy to my husband and loves it. I try to be as productive as possible; I work part-time, do a lot of the housework and take care of the pets. He's the main breadwinner and takes care of the cars. Traditional works for us.


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