# What's your definition of marriage?



## Greatermindset (Oct 13, 2008)

I thought I'd start off this post to think about what a marriage is and what it isn't. A lot of people get married expecting one thing, but when they do get married, they receive something totally different. This thread will help you get clear and possibly even revise what a marriage is and what it means to you.

Feel free to use metaphores which will help describe what a marriage is like to you.

You're by no means obligated to post your answer, just doing the exercise may help reveal something to you. Dont' be ashamed if it's positive or negative. Just see it for what it is and explore the possibilities if it could be better. If you want to share, then I encourage you to do so.

So here's the question:

*What's your definition of a marriage?*

and *by your definition, could there be a better way of viewing it or expressing it?*


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

a few yrs ago i came up with my own definition of marriage.
going through the patches as you do.
i came with my marriage and relationship circles.
i found this became my own answer to counselling and i did found it helped and allowed me to bring back stability and balance in my marriage and with my family.

this is my Marriage .
draw a circle and section it into 1/3.
in box 1, trust 
2, communication
3, sex.

if at any point there was a lack or too much of one of the boxes, it can cause issues, which means the boxes either get to big or to small psychologically. so its about bringing the boxes back to their 1/3's shape.

In my family circle.
again draw a circle and section it this time into 1/4.

in box 1, my family box, children , H and myself having time 
altogether.
2, time for yourself
3, each parent has time with the children alone 
4, time for H and wife with no children.

the family circle came about , when we realised we werent having enough balance for any of the boxes that i have mentioned.
again to much of to little of any of these can cause issues.

well i suppose this is my way.
sorry if it sounds daft.
but i think these circles have got me and my family over some hard times.


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## LucyInSC (Dec 23, 2008)

Thank you Greatermindset for posting this thread. I think it is great. I suspect that most of us here on this site came here because of difficulties in their marriage. I know I did. I was an emotional wreck and had no one to talk to and just googled stuff until I found you guys. 
My definition of Marriage?
To me marriage is being with someone who you would like beside you when you take your last breath. Someone who knows who you really are and still loves you. Marriage is two people sharing the same goals. Caring for each other and committed to be there even when things aren't so good. Marriage is totally putting your trust in another human being and knowing it is safe. Marriage is that safe haven you have away from the rest of the world that only the two of you can go. To laugh, cry and tell your fantasies to. The love for your spouse is like no other love. You love them more than yourself.

Maybe that's a pipe dream. (hey I'm a pieces). And right now I don't trust my husband. But I love him. More than myself. And I'm not giving up until I have it all.


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## Guest (Jan 20, 2009)

LucyInSC said:


> To me marriage is being with someone who you would like beside you when you take your last breath. Someone who knows who you really are and still loves you. Marriage is two people sharing the same goals. Caring for each other and committed to be there even when things aren't so good. Marriage is totally putting your trust in another human being and knowing it is safe. Marriage is that safe haven you have away from the rest of the world that only the two of you can go. To laugh, cry and tell your fantasies to. The love for your spouse is like no other love. You love them more than yourself.


:smthumbup::yay::smnotworthy:

IMO, Trust without Honesty is useless.

Shared goals, values and interests
Complimenting characteristics
Communication, Honesty & Trust
Commitment and willingness to perservere through rough times
Sex

These are key to a good marriage, if you ask me! (if not a little vague/ broad)


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

to me marriage is wanting to always be w/ the person you can't live w/out, being completely fine w/ each other's flaws, and being able to smile just by looking or thinking about that person.


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## Junebug (Dec 7, 2008)

I love the way wonder put it!! Nicely done.


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