# Accused of doing something I didn't do



## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

Had a decent marriage. The other night I was on my phone and my husband accused me of texting someone. Said he saw the whole thing.. He really believes this... but I didn't- I have no one to communicate with I am not even on social media. Anyways- he basically asked me to come home and is not treating me like dirt and saying this is the "new me" how do you like it etc....


I really am at my wits end. I feel like I should have just stayed gone. I can see if I did something wrong but I didn't. I don't think this is on purpose... he really believes I was texting another man. 

I offered a lie detector everything and now that I am here I am being treated like such crap... any advice?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Don't put up with it. Is he trying to cover something on his end?


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Is he mentally ill? 

Is he projecting onto you because he is hiding something, using your imagined cheating as an excuse to bring his real cheating out in the open? 

Either way, you don't have to put up with this crap.


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Don't put up with it. Is he trying to cover something on his end?


I don't think so... things were actually fine before this... so he really believes I did something...


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

theloveofmylife said:


> Is he mentally ill?
> 
> Is he projecting onto you because he is hiding something, using your imagined cheating as an excuse to bring his real cheating out in the open?
> 
> Either way, you don't have to put up with this crap.


I think he def has some issues... but things were fine before this. We just got back from a nice vacation.. He really believes I did something...


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Well, this does not make sense. Did your ask him to show you the communication? It almost sounds like you should get him to the ER, maybe he has an aneurysm or blood clot, something wrong with his brain.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

TammyDawn23 said:


> I don't think so... things were actually fine before this... so he really believes I did something...


Then ask him to produce the evidence...or he needs to shut up.


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Well, this does not make sense. Did your ask him to show you the communication? It almost sounds like you should get him to the ER, maybe he has an aneurysm or blood clot, something wrong with his brain.


He told me I deleted it...


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

TammyDawn23 said:


> He really believes I did something...


Why does he think this, and so strongly? Were you doing something to try to make him jealous? Is he just losing it? 

Do you think he is cheating?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

So just offer to him that y’all can go to one of those phone hacker guys and have everything recovered and he can look at it.
The truth is that if he isn’t looking for a simple solution like above then he is likely the one doing something sneaky.
The solution is easy ..... the problem is something else... not a “deleted text”


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Has he been checked for Parkinson’s?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Has there been anything else like this in your history? Have you ever texted someone in the past?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

- how long have you been married?
- any children?
- anything else going on that you haven't mentioned yet?


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

theloveofmylife said:


> Why does he think this, and so strongly? Were you doing something to try to make him jealous? Is he just losing it?
> 
> Do you think he is cheating?


I don't think so.... but who knows... I really believe he thinks that I did this! He said he saw me text.. um I was on my newsfeed.


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

sokillme said:


> Has there been anything else like this in your history? Have you ever texted someone in the past?


No I never have honestly- but he does have trust issues


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

Laurentium said:


> how long have you been married?
> any children?
> anything else going on that you haven't mentioned yet?


6 years married and it's a blended family. I went thru HELL w/ his ex wife (her giving up the youngest kid to us the week after we got married) then calling CPS multiple times. Her suicide threats etc.. There's so much here I cannot even name them all that really still goes on to one degree or another. We have no kids together and my own son is 23 and lives on his own. He has 3 children from his previous and the youngest is 12- she has lived w/ us for 6 years (others are grown). At first I almost left because of that.... It was really draining and a lot to deal with when a kid gets basically tossed out from her mother. Not to mention I really don't have much of a voice when it comes to certain things because it's a shared custody. However the mother only sees her really 2 full days a month.

But outside of that nothing really crazy between us when it comes to being sneaky. The main problems I would ever have were with his ex and it was hard dealing w/ a child again that really has 2 lackluster parents.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

TammyDawn23 said:


> No I never have honestly- but he does have trust issues


Yeah, a lot of time that is projection. I would stand my ground but I would also not escalate as it will not be productive. Try to respond unemotionally and use logic and reason. If this is kind of a sea-change in your relationship though, then there may be something more to this on his end.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TammyDawn23 said:


> Had a decent marriage. The other night I was on my phone and my husband accused me of texting someone. Said he saw the whole thing.. He really believes this... but I didn't- I have no one to communicate with I am not even on social media. Anyways- he basically asked me to come home and is not treating me like dirt and saying this is the "new me" how do you like it etc....
> 
> 
> I really am at my wits end. I feel like I should have just stayed gone. I can see if I did something wrong but I didn't. I don't think this is on purpose... he really believes I was texting another man.
> ...


When people accuse you of cheating when you definitely have not or given them even reason to think so, they are projecting what they would do if they had a chance on to you. He thinks because he would take that opportunity that everyone else would too. He is the one with cheating on his mind.


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

sokillme said:


> Has there been anything else like this in your history? Have you ever texted someone in the past?


No never...


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Maybe someone is planting these thoughts in his head? Who has been in communication with recently?


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## TammyDawn23 (May 3, 2021)

manfromlamancha said:


> Maybe someone is planting these thoughts in his head? Who has been in communication with recently?


No one out of the ordinary that I know of.... I mean jeez I work from home never go out without him... seems insane.


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## Itsoktobelost (May 11, 2021)

Idk sounds like he is projecting his own misdoings and fears onto you... my ex used to do this to me.. even after wonderful times together. In the end I found out he was the one cheating on me. Either way, he doesn’t trust you. Otherwise, if there is no proof and you’re giving him all these solutions, then your word should’ve been enough. Don’t let him manipulate you.


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## Vina75 (Mar 15, 2021)

TammyDawn23 said:


> Had a decent marriage. The other night I was on my phone and my husband accused me of texting someone. Said he saw the whole thing.. He really believes this... but I didn't- I have no one to communicate with I am not even on social media. Anyways- he basically asked me to come home and is not treating me like dirt and saying this is the "new me" how do you like it etc....
> 
> 
> I really am at my wits end. I feel like I should have just stayed gone. I can see if I did something wrong but I didn't. I don't think this is on purpose... he really believes I was texting anot
> ...


This exactly looks like my story. It's been 1 year, my husband has abandoned me and my kids and living alone saying he wants to live for himself and he is in heaven. 8 years ago I had questioned him of his late night missed calls and long hour phone calls and he denied it. She was a old friend from his town. After all these years he is doing the same with me. I came to my native country after long years and was in touch with old friends on phone. He started accusing me of having boyfriends. I tried talking to my husband, asked him to prove it ,call the person right in front and talk. He doesn't want to do it. And he is living alone close to that old friend of his . Nothing worked . He has started slandering me in the relatives but when I sit down to clear his doubts, he never opened up. I asked him to say everything in my face that he had wrote me in emails and phone calls,but he never spoke . 

I think we shudnt offer any explanation to these kind of people who had made up their minds on us and looking for opportunities to blame us . These are mentally sick people who has their own hidden motives behind their actions.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@TammyDawn23 Does he use cannabis? Last time I heard of such a case (husband claimed to have a recording of his wife having sex with another man (but the recording was BLANK) it was due to his heavy cannabis use.









Cannabis-Induced Psychosis: A Review


Numerous lines of evidence suggest a correlation between cannabis consumption and a variety of psychiatric conditions, including cannabis-induced psychosis.



www.psychiatrictimes.com








__





Marijuana and Paranoia | Dual Diagnosis


Marijuana has many mental effects. Paranoia is an extremely dangerous one. This article seeks to unravel the association between Marijuana and fear




dualdiagnosis.org




"...(THC) is the crucial ingredient in marijuana and is responsible for the bulk of the drug’s neurological effects, such as hallucinations, delusions..."


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Maybe he himself is up to no good and is projecting, sometimes cheaters accuse their spouses of cheating when in fact they are the ones doing it. You need to shut that crap down and start looking into his affairs.


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