# He says I am 'using' the kids to get back at him



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

and he called me the b-word. I guess he doesn't like my hard line 180 anymore. 

I have let him see the kids EVERY time he asked. I guess he just doesn't like me asking questions about where they are going and when they will be back and no contact with OW... I have that right don't I? Those are not unreasonable requests

I changed the locks on the house... too bad so sad, it isn't his now... and I don't want him coming in and out and going through my papers and such.

I stopped being 'friendly' about everything with him.... too bad again. He is a liar and a cheat....


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## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

Lisa,

Again stand tough. You as a parent have every right to know where the children are going and to ensure thier physical and emotional safety.

Also, he is showing his "Bully" tendencies he is still trying to hurt you because he knows the issues you have that bother you.

Keep it up you need to do this for you and to show your children that you are STRONG.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

He was under some delusion I was just going to say ok, I'll be nice, just go off and live with another woman.... WTF?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Maybe he actually thought you would be happy for him that he found true love? Here's a cartoon made by marzipan of SI based mostly on the emails/text messages she intercepted between her WH and OW.

Soul Mate Shmoopies


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

He would tell you it was your fault he burnt his toast in the morning if it made him feel better. My ex husband once told me that he found my behavior appalling after I refused to give him a box of books he wanted. That from the guy who had multiple affairs and put me through years of mental abuse, but yet, it was my behavior over not giving him a box of book he wanted, appalling. Don't be such a sponge; as in, don't let what he says to you absorb into your self so much. Learn to be rubber and let it bounce back onto him. (A hard lesson I've been learning along the way for myself.)


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Thanks Apple, it just makes me so MAD that he decided single handedly to break up the family, and I am supposed to just up and so oh well, sure honey.... geesh


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> Thanks Apple, it just makes me so MAD that he decided single handedly to break up the family, and I am supposed to just up and so oh well, sure honey.... geesh


I know. It's cheater speak for you. They cheat and break up the family, and cause the mess but yet they want us to be happy about it? :scratchhead:


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I can't say this enough, Lisa. I'm sorry this has happened to you.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Maybe he actually thought you would be happy for him that he found true love? Here's a cartoon made by marzipan of SI based mostly on the emails/text messages she intercepted between her WH and OW.
> 
> Soul Mate Shmoopies


Oh hell no! Oh HELL NO! on the shmoopies! LOL.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Tell him "I will not tolerate you calling me the B word. I am their mother and have a right know where your kids are going and with whom. Just as you do."

End of conversation. Proceed with whatever you were doing.

Do not get into it with him.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Tell him "I will not tolerate you calling me the B word. I am their mother and have a right know where your kids are going and with whom. Just as you do."
> 
> End of conversation. Proceed with whatever you were doing.
> 
> Do not get into it with him.


:iagree:

BINGO! Exactly - keep yourself cool, calm, collected, and 'woman'ed up!!

Hang in there, lisa! Someday he may actually wake up out of his fog and realize just what he gave up, but by then you will have shaken the dirt of him off of your shoes.

Don't forget to take care of yourself during all of this! How's the new kitten doing?

Thoughts and prayers going your way!


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Kitten is awesome... the girls and I are really enjoying him! Thanks.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Lisa, I almost think you were married to my husband. It's incredible the similarities in their behaviors and their attitudes.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Maybe he actually thought you would be happy for him that he found true love? Here's a cartoon made by marzipan of SI based mostly on the emails/text messages she intercepted between her WH and OW.
> 
> Soul Mate Shmoopies


soul mate shmoopies! This is the funniest thing ever! :rofl::rofl: I'm sitting here watching the video and completely cracking up. "Your wife is batsh*t crazy" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :rofl: I gotta start using that phrase "batsh*t crazy" I LOVE IT!


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## adv (Feb 26, 2011)

The only thing I can see you doing is trying to give all of your children the best lives possible. Running them to all their sporting events, maintaining their household (while recently moving), etc...

To me, he is the only ***** in sight (and he probably knows it) but that is his problem, not yours.

As others have said, stand tough and do not let him dictate the path of you or your daughters lives. Especially while he is still in idiot mode (fog).

Hang tough. It may almost be time for another 180 break lol.


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