# Does she still have a thing for him or hate him ?



## RatRace

talking with a friend that is going though reconciliation he tells me his wife "that had the affair" is obsessed with OM wife. She compares herself constantly to her, weight, hair, how many pictures she post. He says she has said "I want her to be miserable" and "If she's not miserable i might as well be miserable myself" Im happy to have this friend that is going through some of the same stuff as me but he wont post on her or read any of it so I wanted to ask you guys what you though. Thanks


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## bobert

So the WS is comparing herself to and stalking the OBS? She needs to cut that **** out, immediately. She obviously still has feelings for the OM, and maybe your friend/the BS is plan B. 

Did their affair end because the OBS found out? That's the vibe I'm getting...


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## RatRace

affair ended when WW came back after moving out. everyone found out basically the same time, WW and OM both left to be together, after 6 weeks cheaters broke up and went back to their SO where they are now


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## leftfield

RatRace said:


> affair ended when WW came back after moving out. everyone found out basically the same time, WW and OM both left to be together, after 6 weeks cheaters broke up and went back to their SO where they are now


Sounds like WW got dumped, so he could go back to his wife. Based off what you have shared I would say that the WW is jealous and wants to show the OM that she is the better option.


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## VladDracul

RatRace said:


> affair ended when WW came back after moving out. everyone found out basically the same time, WW and OM both left to be together, after 6 weeks cheaters broke up and went back to their SO where they are now


I'm not sure what "their SO" means. I'm sure the S stands for Schmuck. What does the O stand for.


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## Blondilocks

I can't figure out who is more pathetic - your friend or his wife. His wife is mad that the guy didn't leave his wife for her and keeps trying to figure out what his wife has that she doesn't. Why she isn't good enough to be his wife. How she can say this BS to her husband is beyond me.

Your friend is pathetic because he actually listens to her BS and sticks around for more.


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## RatRace

No, WW left the OM first to go back to husband, guess the trial run didn't work out lol


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## bobert

RatRace said:


> No, WW left the OM first to go back to husband, guess the trial run didn't work out lol


Or so she says... her actions say otherwise.


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## Diana7

VladDracul said:


> I'm not sure what "their SO" means. I'm sure the S stands for Schmuck. What does the O stand for.


Significant other.


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## RatRace

Blondilocks said:


> I can't figure out who is more pathetic - your friend or his wife. His wife is mad that the guy didn't leave his wife for her and keeps trying to figure out what his wife has that she doesn't. Why she isn't good enough to be his wife. How she can say this BS to her husband is beyond me.
> 
> Your friend is pathetic because he actually listens to her BS and sticks around for more.


Thats kinda where I was, why does she care what OBS looks like? You got back with your husband, isn't that what you wanted? Just didnt know if there is some other "women" thing going on, why she's so worried about the OM wife


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## Diana7

So they cheated on your friend and OM's wife and now she wants his wife to be miserable??? Wow, what a horrible person she sounds. 
It's hard to understand why your friend wants to be with her.


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## Evinrude58

Geez, OP you still have to listen to ******** from your wife pertaining to the OM or his wife?
Why in hell would you ever want to be with a woman that left you for another man andCAME BACK??????????

Yes, she is still obsessed with the other man and would leave you in a heartbeat if he still wanted her.

she definitely doesn’t hate him, but hates his wife for keeping him from her.

you should divorce immediately. Your wife is not marriage material.


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## Blondilocks

RatRace said:


> Thats kinda where I was, why does she care what OBS looks like? You got back with your husband, isn't that what you wanted? Just didnt know if there is some other "women" thing going on, *why she's so worried about the OM wife*


She isn't worried about her - she's hating on her because the affair partner chose his wife. Ever hear the expression "no fury like a woman scorned"? If it wasn't for that evil wife, she and her lover could have ridden off into the sunset on their matching unicorns. So; she is miserable and she's going to make sure everyone else is miserable, too (including your friend).

How long does your friend intend to help his wife get over the loss of her lover?🤢🤮


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## DudeInProgress

RatRace said:


> Thats kinda where I was, why does she care what OBS looks like? You got back with your husband, isn't that what you wanted? Just didnt know if there is some other "women" thing going on, why she's so worried about the OM wife


You’re missing the whole point. Your “friend” is pathetic for taking back a cheating woman who actually left him briefly to be with her lover. He is plan B and she has no respect for him at all.
On top of that, he actually listens to, and entertains this garbage babble from her about OM’s wife. She is clearly still highly invested in OM via his wife.

Your friend is being weak and pathetic for
1. Taking her back after cheating and leaving him
2. Apparently not having serious consequences as a condition of taking her back
3. Tolerating and listening to her babble about OM’s wife. The fact that she is being allowed to bring up OM or OM‘s wife at all (unless responding to a specific question from her husband) is ridiculous.

This is a woman who is not in love with her husband and has no respect for him and is still invested in OM.
And this is a man who has been weak and pathetic and who needs to find his self respect and dignity and take control of this situation from a position of strength.

That is the key point here.


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## GusPolinski

Tell your buddy to dump his WW, as she’s clearly still infatuated with her OM.


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## bobert

RatRace said:


> Thats kinda where I was, why does she care what OBS looks like? You got back with your husband, isn't that what you wanted? Just didnt know if there is some other "women" thing going on, why she's so worried about the OM wife


My wife had two affairs and one of those guys was married during their affair (twice actually). My wife doesn't sit around stalking their social media. We ran into one of the OBS's recently and my wife just about died. There is certainly no jealousy or hate there. 

The other guy has never been married but my wife doesn't care about who he dates, other than how if affects their child. 

Your friends WW still has feelings for the OM. Why he's choosing to accept that, who knows. She needs to block the OBS (and OM if she hasn't already), and get them out of her head. Right now she's still sort of in the affair, in a way.


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## RatRace

Buddy's wife always posting pictures of them together on their facebook, nice anniversary post, everything that a normal loving wife would do, thats what got us so confused. Could it be low self esteem issues ? is she gaslighting him ?


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## Blondilocks

She's putting on a show like most people do on fakebook.


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## VladDracul

Diana7 said:


> Significant other.


Ok. May I suggest we make it SOS--Significant Other Schmuck.


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## Andy1001

Ask your buddy does he like being plan B. 
You could also mention that plan B never becomes plan A.


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## GusPolinski

RatRace said:


> Buddy's wife always posting pictures of them together on their facebook, nice anniversary post, everything that a normal loving wife would do, thats what got us so confused. Could it be low self esteem issues ? is she gaslighting him ?


It’s an attempt to convince the world — and maybe even herself — that their marriage and life together is better than it is. Hell, maybe him too.

And yeah, she might even be gaslighting him.

Either way, I’d be aghast if my wife were so content with — and maybe even obsessed with — inauthenticity. I’d think any man would be.

Guessing your buddy doesn’t stand up to his wife very often.


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## RatRace

GusPolinski said:


> It’s an attempt to convince the world — and maybe even herself — that their marriage and life together is better than it is. Hell, maybe him too.
> 
> And yeah, she might even be gaslighting him.
> 
> Either way, I’d be aghast if my wife were so content with — and maybe even obsessed with — inauthenticity. I’d think any man would be.
> 
> Guessing your buddy doesn’t stand up to his wife very often.


 WoW I never looked at it this way, he defiantly says one day is really good and a day or two she acts depressed and withdrawn....


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## GusPolinski

RatRace said:


> WoW I never looked at it this way, he defiantly says one day is really good and a day or two she acts depressed and withdrawn....


She’s still obsessed with OM, man.


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## Kaliber

RatRace said:


> Thats kinda where I was, why does she care what OBS looks like? You got back with your husband, isn't that what you wanted? Just didnt know if there is some other "women" thing going on, why she's so worried about the OM wife


She is lying! She got dumped, and your friend is second best Plan B or even C, very said to see the state of many men these days, no self esteem and no self respect!


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## MJJEAN

RatRace said:


> No, WW left the OM first to go back to husband, guess the trial run didn't work out lol


$5 says OM was having sex with his wife and left your buddy's wife to go back home or buddys wife found out he was still having sex with his wife and ended it. The way she's acting she's still so hung up on OM it's ridiculous.





RatRace said:


> Buddy's wife always posting pictures of them together on their facebook, nice anniversary post, everything that a normal loving wife would do, thats what got us so confused. Could it be low self esteem issues ? is she gaslighting him ?


She's constantly comparing herself to the OM's wife on social media. She posts happy couple pics because she's hoping her OM will see them and be jealous. She's also keeping up appearances. After all, OM went back to his wife. He's not an option. So, she has to make going back to Plan B with her tail between her legs work or at least appear to work. She's insecure and has low self esteem right now because her man picked his wife over her.


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## Blondilocks

Andy1001 said:


> Ask your buddy does he like being plan B.
> You could also mention that plan B never becomes plan A.


I don't know, Andy. If the guy suddenly learned that he would be inheriting a few million, I would bet that this woman would be all over fakebook proclaiming how she is totally in love with plan B and might even increase her efforts in the bedroom. Her new pics would show sparkling eyes with dollar signs.


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## Asterix

RatRace said:


> talking with a friend that is going though reconciliation he tells me his wife "that had the affair" is obsessed with OM wife. She compares herself constantly to her, weight, hair, how many pictures she post. He says she has said "I want her to be miserable" and "If she's not miserable i might as well be miserable myself" Im happy to have this friend that is going through some of the same stuff as me but he wont post on her or read any of it so I wanted to ask you guys what you though. Thanks


I think, your "friends" wife is still carrying around a torch for her OM. She has not gotten over it at all. 

Her comparing with the OBS and posting her pictures online just proves this point. I think that the OM has an alternate account and is subscribed/friends with her on those online sites where she posts pictures. She's posting her pictures online where she goes to extra lengths to say that "hey, look I'm much better than your wife, who would you ignore me?"


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## Diana7

bobert said:


> My wife had two affairs and one of those guys was married during their affair (twice actually). My wife doesn't sit around stalking their social media. We ran into one of the OBS's recently and my wife just about died. There is certainly no jealousy or hate there.
> 
> The other guy has never been married but my wife doesn't care about who he dates, other than how if affects their child.
> 
> Your friends WW still has feelings for the OM. Why he's choosing to accept that, who knows. She needs to block the OBS (and OM if she hasn't already), and get them out of her head. Right now she's still sort of in the affair, in a way.


Did his wife know about the affair or is she still in the dark?


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## bobert

Diana7 said:


> Did his wife know about the affair or is she still in the dark?


They are divorced now but yes, she knows about the affair. My wife told her back in Dec/2018 and I talked to her several times after that and we swapped evidence. So she's well aware of what happened.


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## *Deidre*

Did your friend say why his wife came back, if she clearly was still into the OM? Sounds like she left the OM, came back to your friend (her husband) and wishes she could have your friend and the OM. The tangled webs we weave....


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## Luckylucky

This one is UNHINGED. Bunny-boiler, unstable, crazy crazy crazy. Still in love with him, and wants to be the wife. Wants to dress like her, look like her, use her brush and wear her shoes. Bit like Assia Wevil. Sylvia’s suicide was understandable, but look how far Assia took things… blamed the ghost of Sylvia.


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## MattMatt

This is the flaming torch she still carries for her AP:-


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## Asterix

RatRace said:


> WoW I never looked at it this way, he defiantly says one day is really good and a day or two she acts depressed and withdrawn....


This might be wild and very much off the mark observation. 

I think she's being inauthentic self. So, whenever she is putting on a persona of who she is not, it depletes her "batteries" or energy if you will. So, likely she can't quite keep putting up the facade all the time. Then she realizes all the fun she had with OM and then he didn't even want her. So, she's acting depressed and withdrawn.


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## MattMatt

I just hope the other BS isn't in any danger from her.


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## RatRace

His wife denied having the pictures of her for the reason members posted on here. He still thinks its self esteem issue. She apparently deleted all the pictures and said she wouldn't look at her stuff anymore. He also voiced to her that her having these pictures make it look like she's trying to compete with wife or she's salty. Wife denied it was anything like that and got mad at him for even suggesting it


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## Mr.Married

A


RatRace said:


> His wife denied having the pictures of her for the reason members posted on here. He still thinks its self esteem issue. She apparently deleted all the pictures and said she wouldn't look at her stuff anymore. He also voiced to her that her having these pictures make it look like she's trying to compete with wife or she's salty. Wife denied it was anything like that and got mad at him for even suggesting it


And as long as Mrs. Still-in-Heat barks him down he will just return to his corner. Ya buddy is handling this junk all wrong. He is setting himself up for more of the same down the road


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## MJJEAN

RatRace said:


> His wife denied having the pictures of her for the reason members posted on here. He still thinks its self esteem issue. She apparently deleted all the pictures and said she wouldn't look at her stuff anymore. He also voiced to her that her having these pictures make it look like she's trying to compete with wife or she's salty. Wife denied it was anything like that and got mad at him for even suggesting it


Well, what did he expect? A lying cheat to be open and honest? Did he really think she'd say "Actually, Husband, I much prefer my OM, but he left me for another woman...his wife...and now I'm stuck here with you to not be alone." The truth is a relationship ending event. She isn't going to be honest. It wouldn't serve her purposes.

Her angry reaction is the proof. She IS salty. Your friend is a delusional fool trying desperately to ignore reality and his wife is a liar who is trying desperately to not be single since the man she wants dumped her. At this point, I'm honestly not sure who is more pathetic. The spinless man trying to pretend his "wife" isn't using him as Plan B or the wife for still being so obviously all hung up on a married man who dumped her.

And I'm saying this as a former WW, mind you.

Just stop talking about it with him. You can't help him. She'll keep lying and he'll believe her because accepting the truth is too hard.


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## TJW

Andy1001 said:


> plan B never becomes plan A.





MJJEAN said:


> She isn't going to be honest. It wouldn't serve her purposes.


any "plan B" person who is married is married through the dishonesty of his/her partner. "Plan B" has been married for a purpose, and that purpose is not to have companionship, attraction, and passion. It is far more pragmatic Like @Andy1001 said, "Plan B never becomes Plan A".




MJJEAN said:


> She'll keep lying and he'll believe her because accepting the truth is too hard.


The basis of the continuing con game. Keep her security, home, children, because daddy unicorn vanished.


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## GusPolinski

RatRace said:


> His wife denied having the pictures of her for the reason members posted on here. He still thinks its self esteem issue. She apparently deleted all the pictures and said she wouldn't look at her stuff anymore. He also voiced to her that her having these pictures make it look like she's trying to compete with wife or she's salty. Wife denied it was anything like that and got mad at him for even suggesting it


Some waywards never progress to _former_ wayward status.


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## Asterix

MJJEAN said:


> Her angry reaction is the proof. She IS salty. Your friend is a delusional fool trying desperately to ignore reality and his wife is a liar who is trying desperately to not be single since the man she wants dumped her. At this point, I'm honestly not sure who is more pathetic. The spinless man trying to pretend his "wife" isn't using him as Plan B or the wife for still being so obviously all hung up on a married man who dumped her.


Harsh but true, IMHO.


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## Divinely Favored

RatRace said:


> His wife denied having the pictures of her for the reason members posted on here. He still thinks its self esteem issue. She apparently deleted all the pictures and said she wouldn't look at her stuff anymore. He also voiced to her that her having these pictures make it look like she's trying to compete with wife or she's salty. Wife denied it was anything like that and got mad at him for even suggesting it


Hit the nail on the head! Or she would not have got pissy about it.


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## SunCMars

GusPolinski said:


> Some waywards never progress to _former_ wayward status.


They have learned to dance on the ledge.


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## ElOtro

SunCMars said:


> They have learned to dance on the ledge.


A not bad description of a wide and well populated category of waywards and wanna be ones.


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## DownByTheRiver

VladDracul said:


> I'm not sure what "their SO" means. I'm sure the S stands for Schmuck. What does the O stand for.


Orifice.


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## DownByTheRiver

bobert said:


> My wife had two affairs and one of those guys was married during their affair (twice actually). My wife doesn't sit around stalking their social media. We ran into one of the OBS's recently and my wife just about died. There is certainly no jealousy or hate there.
> 
> The other guy has never been married but my wife doesn't care about who he dates, other than how if affects their child.
> 
> Your friends WW still has feelings for the OM. Why he's choosing to accept that, who knows. She needs to block the OBS (and OM if she hasn't already), and get them out of her head. Right now she's still sort of in the affair, in a way.


I have a wife who tried to stalk my social media except that I didn't have any social media to stalk so instead she stalkef everyone she knew I was friends with to see what she could see. She's someone who married a guy after --and I mean right after --I dumped him. He was a good friend for a long time but trying to take it romantic was not a good idea. He even wanted to marry me. I think she knows a certain amount of all that and that's why she always had her antenna up.


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## ConanHub

RatRace said:


> talking with a friend that is going though reconciliation he tells me his wife "that had the affair" is obsessed with OM wife. She compares herself constantly to her, weight, hair, how many pictures she post. He says she has said "I want her to be miserable" and "If she's not miserable i might as well be miserable myself" Im happy to have this friend that is going through some of the same stuff as me but he wont post on her or read any of it so I wanted to ask you guys what you though. Thanks


I guess I'm still surprised there are "men" who even tolerate this nonsense?


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