# Reconciled since January



## indiecat

I haven't been here for awhile. I left the house in August, and returned in January. We attended MC while I was gone. We were in daily contact and I didn't move far away. If I wouldn't answer his texts then he would start texting our dd non stop, until the therapist told him to stop.
I got majorly depressed from all the stress, it got worse the longer I was away. I was so lonely on the days when my dd was with her dad. My son and his gf also live at our house, so h was never really alone, but I was and it drove me slowly crazy. I went to counseling and they begged me not to go back to him. He had a 3 year PA/EA with tons of lying to me and the OW. I read his love letters to her and it broke my heart. I did kick him out for 6 weeks after Dday, how I wish I'd kept him out. We tried for 3 years after Dday but it just wasn't working, we hadn't slept together in 5 yrs. even before his affair. I'm back now and miserable, I don't love him. He tries his best but I'm just back because I was lonely, depressed and missed my kids and felt guilty for walking out on the family.
I couldn't seem to be alone, and lost 40 lbs and became skeletal. I get sick from antidepressants, I've tried several and can't tolerate the side effects. I feel very trapped. He is being very nice, and we are even having some sex again after many years. But I still feel so unhappy. I'm 53 and we have a 13 and a 21 year old at home, as well as the 21 year old's gf.


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## Acoa

Try to spend some time alone contemplating IF you want to try and reconcile with this man. Before you try, be comfortable that your future is worth it. 

What is the best way it could turn out? How about the worst? What are the chances for each outcome? Is it worth that risk?


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## indiecat

Thanks, we have reconciled, but still I feel sad.


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## lifeistooshort

But you haven't reconciled, you've just moved back in. Big difference. Is this how you want to live? Either make the decision to leave or make the decision to stay and pursue your own life. Remember that to some degree happiness is a choice, and so is misery.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indiecat

What do you mean by pursue your own life?


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## lifeistooshort

I mean do things that make you happy, without regard to him. Don't give him so much control over how you feel and your happiness. Engage him as much or as little as you like. Right now you feel powerless, so if you take some of your power back and learn to deal with him on your terms you might even decide you want more to do with him, but the choice will be yours. You'll get better at doing things for yourself and will no longer fear being alone, and that will allow you to decide what you want with a clear head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indiecat

Yes I need a clear head, thanks. I need more of a support system and more of a life!


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