# abusive wife always accuseing me of being abusive



## bman67 (Jul 5, 2011)

My wife and I are currently living seperately, but have a 6 year old daughter together as well as 2 boys age 14 and 20 from my previous marrige I also had custody of my ex's son from her current husband from 2004-2010 I had to give up custody because of his severe mental illness and violent behavior especially after he started sexually touching my daughter.

We were together for 8 years and married in 5/2008. She moved out 12/2010 after nonstop accusing me of being abusive to her.

She has bi-polar, ptsd, and grew up verbally abused by her Father as well as her Step Father and bio Mom, and was raped several times while under the influence of alcohol. 

Right before we married she started relapsing on crack; she seemed to get it back under control and had been clean for years prior so I went ahead with the marrige. However throughout 2008- sept. of 2009 she had been in a 28 day rehab 3 xs and in a six month long inpatient program. 

This caused our family severe financial problems. She doesn't work but has ssi for the bipolar. While she was away for 6 months in rehab they kept her ssi checks, and I lost a lot of hours and pay from work while to trying to juggle work school and caring for kids by myself.

Our problems became really bad after our daughter was molested. I had taken over taking care of all the finances since I had been doing it since she was in rehab and hospitalized for 2 weeks for mental health reasons with a 2 month at home recovery period.

She wanted me to give her money for what ever she needed all the time. Often it was for things that were legitimetely needed. I was working delivering pizzas and budgeting on a day to day basis trying to keep up with all the credit card debt used to pay bills incurred as a result of her undependability to remain in the household.

If I told I her I couldn't give her a garauteed day that I could give her the money she needed she was accusing me of controlling her because I have all the money. Keep in mind many days I had to stop to get gas a liitle bit at a time after each tip from a delivery until I had enough to make through the night. There was no all the money to be had.

Any way, situations like this and any issue that may have come up, such as me being irritable due to having sleep apnea and not always having a nice tone in my voice when responding to whatever crisis she felt she was having at the moment would lead to her relentlessly pusuing me from room to room demanding that I fix whatever it was that was bothering her.

One morning, she trapped me in the bathroom blocking the door while she screamed at me refusing to move and wouldn't let me out to bring the kids to school and go to work. I had take her by the shoulders and physically move her to the side to get out.

To this day she swears that this was abusive I don't know what else I could have done I was gentle as possible I JUST NEEDED TO GO TO WORK.

This pursuing me around the house into the bedroom, bathroom, livingroom, kitchen, even outside to our our porch would be relentless and continue for hours. I would beg for her to please leave me alone. Eventually I would lose it and start screaming at her to shut up or shut the f up. Then she would twist this into me being abusive not me being attacked. Several occasions I had to call the police to get her to stop this screaming and persuing me while our children were trying to sleep.

Another time she decided she wasn't done arguing yet when I was in the car with a six year old boy trying to leave to again bring him to school and me to work; she opened the car door and stood screaming at me refusing to move to let us leave. I told her I was going to move car so she needed to move, and backed up very slowly, rather than move she tried to hold the car back she eventually did move; but again she says I was abusive and tried to run her over. (not)

There were many times when I was extremly exahsted from sleep apnea and irritable from different anti deppressants I was taking to try to cope with not sleeping. Times I may have not sounded very nice in my tone but never any name calling or abusiveness other than reaching a breaking point and screaming for her to shut up after being persued and screamed at for hours sometimes from wakeing to bed time.

She still t this day does not aknolodge that her behavior was wrong and caused me to beg to be left alone and eventually strike out with the shut up,and shut the **** up out of desperation.

Even though we live apart I still have to deal with acussations of abuse reguarly to keep visitation with my daughter.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Dope fiends, crack heads, meth heads, drunks and pill munchers are in fact the scum of the earth. If your wife tells you the sun is up, check with an astronomer. 100% of everything they say is lies, hate, noise and bull****. 100%. Get your babies away from her and throw her glassd^ck sucking ass in the street, naked if need be. She can't have the care of children, sorry, not for you, hon. Rehab, jail, 5150 or a headstone are the options.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

I'm sorry about your situation brother. Some people cannot be saved and will drag you under. I agree with Runs like Dog. Kick her to the curb.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

hi--

dont know if your still reading this or not...but, please get her out of your lives. the neighbors could end up calling cps. not to be cruel, but maybe in a mis guided attempt to get her away from the kids.

a judge wont see things her way, if you step up first. if cps comes down, a judge will side with them and take the kids away.

call local psych hospitals for long term stay. commit her, find out if the police have to be there when they show up. you have to be the same one here.

move, get on aid, ask one of your older kids if they could bring the little ones home from school. alot of citys have summer camp during the day, and you could find better work hours. i suspect you dont now because of your wife, and her antics.

she is hurting the kids. i think when the girls get to be about the age where she was being abused, she will turn violent to them. its the nature of abused kids.

your wife needs long term care, and intense therapy you are not able to help her, and keep yourself and the kids safe. your 6 year old was in the car, and saw his mom acting crazy.

i think if you dont do something, the kids will grow up hating the both of you, and this household of crazy will be their future wives and husbands.

drug abuse & drinking can be passed down to kids. dont give them a chance or reason to turn to it. putting her in long term care, is showing her you love her, she needs help, so do you.

it will be hard at first, but life is never easy. take it one day at a time. ask your older kids for a little help. i know you never want to burden them, but they are you family.

you can stand on your own 2 feet, nothing wrong with needing help. sometimes you see 2 sets of footprints because i walked beside you, sometimes you see one set when i carried you.

i like to keep that in mind. we all need others and support.


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## AvaTara539 (Apr 10, 2011)

Wow you both sound bad to be honest. She was wrong to block you into the bathroom but you have NO right to physically lay your hands on her, whether you "needed to get to work" or not. That IS abusive. Her behavior was abusive and your behavior was abusive. Sounds like you both need counseling!!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

AvaTara539 said:


> Wow you both sound bad to be honest. She was wrong to block you into the bathroom but you have NO right to physically lay your hands on her, whether you "needed to get to work" or not. That IS abusive. Her behavior was abusive and your behavior was abusive. Sounds like you both need counseling!!


I don't agree that moving her over is abusive. Pushing her would be. Get him away from her relentless hell and I bet he'd never harm a fly. If he was abusive, he would have smacked her by now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> I don't agree that moving her over is abusive. Pushing her would be. Get him away from her relentless hell and I bet he'd never harm a fly. If he was abusive, he would have smacked her by now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::scratchhead::iagree:

He indeed handled himself properly in that situation...
But seriously, pack your bags, get legal council, protect the children, one day she will unleash, it's best you protect yourself and the kids...


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## Pretty_bird_lady (Nov 27, 2011)

Most abuse accusations are not exaggerated or false. Abusers are not always violent, and you are not fooling anyone.

That being said, you will never change.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Dope fiends, crack heads, meth heads, drunks and pill munchers are in fact the scum of the earth. If your wife tells you the sun is up, check with an astronomer. 100% of everything they say is lies, hate, noise and bull****. 100%. Get your babies away from her and throw her glassd^ck sucking ass in the street, naked if need be. She can't have the care of children, sorry, not for you, hon. Rehab, jail, 5150 or a headstone are the options.


Excellent advise. The chemically dependant are monstrous to live with.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Pretty_bird_lady said:


> Most abuse accusations are not exaggerated or false. Abusers are not always violent, and you are not fooling anyone.
> 
> That being said, you will never change.


Nor will you , sadly, prettybird.


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## Michelleinmichigan (Jun 26, 2013)

You really have to do everything possible to protect the children. She relapsed on crack and then you married her?

You need to get far away from that person, and get a little help yourself. Your definitely have issues as well, and most are probably as a result of unhealthy people in your life.I don't know how you can deal with those issues unless you have a strong spiritual foundation. That is the only thing that is going to really help you and your children deal with this. Good luck.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

2 year old zombie thread alert...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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