# How does she make you feel?



## jrock1180 (Mar 10, 2012)

Just trying to get every person's perspective on this. It's something i have been dealing with for the past couple of years in my marriage. How does your wife make you feel? If she is a stay at home wife, does she appreciate everything you do for her and your hard work 5+days a week? Does she show that appreciation or just mention it every so often. If she is a working wife. Does she take the time out of her day to call or txt you during lunch to see how your day is going or to make plans for the evening? Or is your wife the one that is hot and cold like the thermostat, mood changes at the turn of a switch?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I can't speak for my husband, but I'd like to think I am the appreciative wife. I thank him every so often, just for working and supporting us while I am pregnant. I understand the pressure he's under to "man the ship" while I'm out of commission. Furthermore, my husband has been making the effort to help me more as my pregnancy progresses and makes doing simple tasks harder and harder. I absolutely let him know how much I appreciate his efforts, and I hope he does truly know how much I really do appreciate and am grateful for all he does - from working to the dishes, I thank him for it all.  He on the other hand, can seem oblivious to my efforts at maintaining the house, chores, dogs, etc. He doesn't thank me nearly as much, but I know he appreciates me, (it's less for him to do). 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jrock1180 said:


> Just trying to get every person's perspective on this. It's something i have been dealing with for the past couple of years in my marriage. How does your wife make you feel? If she is a stay at home wife, does she appreciate everything you do for her and your hard work 5+days a week? Does she show that appreciation or just mention it every so often. If she is a working wife. Does she take the time out of her day to call or txt you during lunch to see how your day is going or to make plans for the evening? Or is your wife the one that is hot and cold like the thermostat, mood changes at the turn of a switch?


In my marriage I've been the bread winner. My husband never calls me during the day to see how I am. He has never thanked me for supporting him. He has said that I did a lot for his kids while they were growing up. He's basically checked out and married to compute games. He does little to nothing around the house and yard. I filed for divorce on Monday 3/5/12.

I generally thank him whever he did anything to help out. I used to call him from work to see how his day was going. I stopped that when I realized that the only time he calls me at work is if he need something... like for me to stop on the way home and get something at the store.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jrock,

Does your wife take care of the home and the children (if you have any)? Do you thank her for what she does?


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

jrock1180 said:


> Just trying to get every person's perspective on this. It's something i have been dealing with for the past couple of years in my marriage. How does your wife make you feel? If she is a stay at home wife, does she appreciate everything you do for her and your hard work 5+days a week? Does she show that appreciation or just mention it every so often. If she is a working wife. Does she take the time out of her day to call or txt you during lunch to see how your day is going or to make plans for the evening? Or is your wife the one that is hot and cold like the thermostat, mood changes at the turn of a switch?


We're starting to get better on all this. For a long time she was the Catch-22 sort of wife, where no matter what I did, she wanted the opposite. If I was sensitive, she wanted aloof, and vice-versa. If I was home with her, she wanted me out earning, and if I was out earning, she complained I wasn't home. The sh-- hit the fan when she began focusing on men who had nothing going for them but looks and attitude and treating me poorly. The changes began when I said basically I am who I am, take it or leave it. The endless nice things I did for her went out the window then, though I never treated her poorly. It's getting better now, slowly, with her showing appreciation and kindness like she used to. I was never "nice," but more a caretaker type, so it never got so bad she stepped out on me, but I felt like we were headed there. I trust her more now and she shows her appreciation and respect more each day. But it's an ongoing process for us. I still have days, though fewer, where I think I'd like to toss it all and go my own way, but overall she makes me feel much better these days.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

Wonderful and we're not even married.


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## Stryker (Feb 3, 2012)

Love will express True Feelings, Opinions etc etc..

and I have them from them..


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

I personally place more value on actions rather than words. I had someone tell me that he loved me, yet this actions proved the opposite. I didn't particularly feel appreciated, I felt taken for granted.

I would initiate calls to see how he was doing, but he didn't reciprocate. I would text him, but he wouldn't text back. I got tired of doing all the work. In the event that he did reply to a text, it would be a comment that couldn't be followed - basically, a conversation ender. I would even post stuff on his Facebook wall, but never got a reply from him. Towards the end, the messages he would get from me were chores like picking up cat litter after work. I grew tired of trying.

In his eyes, a hug and a peck on the cheek was all I needed to be happy. Don't I wish it were that easy!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I work from home. My wife is a stay-at-home.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I work from home. My wife is a stay-at-home.


That`s rough.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I work from home. My wife is a stay-at-home.


Actually, we would LOVE this type of arrangement. We worked in the same office right next to each other for a while and it was a sad day when that was no longer the case.

To the OP, sure there are times that we take each other for granted. Since one of my wife's love languages is "words of affirmation" I am sure that I have not told her enough. There have been times that I have felt unappreciated, but most of the time that is not the case. Since her other love language is "acts of service" she really appreciates everything I do for her...because she feels loved when I do them. So she shows me appreciation by by love languages, "quality time" and "physical touch." 

The other thing about my wife is that she is not hot and cold, but relatively even tempered except for her PMS time...and she knows that about herself, so she will apologize for it.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Your wife does not "make" you feel anything---it is your thoughts about her behaviors that direct your feelings. My ex never called me, but I just assumed he was busy at work. I didn't feel unappreciated b/c of it.

If your wife is not expressing her appreciation in a way you can understand, you can read "Love Languages" together. But do not blame her for not meeting needs you don't even know yourself that you might have--like, the need for verbal appreciation. Heck, she may feel unappreciated b/c you take for granted the work SHE does--because you do not express yourself in a language she appreciates. If you have a conversation about what you need (words of affirmation), and she does not make an effort to try that, get some counseling. She may feel equal or greater resentment at what she perceives as your lack of appreciation.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

jrock1180 said:


> Just trying to get every person's perspective on this. It's something i have been dealing with for the past couple of years in my marriage. How does your wife make you feel? If she is a stay at home wife, does she appreciate everything you do for her and your hard work 5+days a week? Does she show that appreciation or just mention it every so often. If she is a working wife. Does she take the time out of her day to call or txt you during lunch to see how your day is going or to make plans for the evening? Or is your wife the one that is hot and cold like the thermostat, mood changes at the turn of a switch?


My wife is now a SAHM. She has worked in the past in our marriage, and even owned a business (small restaurant) which she ran successfully for several years. I worked to get to a place where she could be a SAHM again ... and when she wants to do things like go back to college just for her personal enrichment, I want her to be able to do that.

She often expresses to me that she appreciates what I do. Even in the times when I think she was working harder than I was, she was appreciative. There were times when I also had to shoulder almost everything. The biggest example of this was a few months after her mother died, then from the time her father was diagosed with stomach cancer until a few months after he died. In particular, in conjunction with her father's situation, she went into depression, and that is very debilitating.

I put some of the things she actually tells me in this thread I started some time ago: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/39347-things-i-like-hear-my-wife.html

My wife is very playful most of the time. Quite often in what she does, she is either playing with me, or playfully expressing something nice to me. Our sex lives are quite good as well.

Text messaging is something that we've started fairly recently, and they usually start by me taking a moment and sending a flirty text message to her when I'm at work. She responds in the same cute language she speaks, and even though I'm the one that initiated it, it always brings a smile to my face and gives me a little tingle to get a flirty text message back from her.

I can't really just put it in a nutshell. There have been times, and probably will be times in the future when she was needy, and I had to do 100% of the lifting in our relationship as a loving husband has to do sometimes. There have been times when I've been the needy one, and probably will be again sometimes, and she has shouldered a tremendous part of the load as a loving wife will do. We've had our times of mutual frustration where we've had to sit down and tell each other (and listen to each other) what is needed, and had to each make changes to correct the course. When I take the package as a whole, my life with her has been great, and she's why I think it has been great. But that doesn't mean that every single moment is great ... right now, though, it's just hard to remember what the bad times felt like because these good times feel so good.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I just asked my husband how I make him feel. Being the man of many words that he is , he said, "Good."

:lol: I said, that's it? He said, "How do you make me feel?" I said, yes. FEEL. Feelings.  He said, "Like home."




awwwws! Warm fuzzies for everyone!


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I just asked my husband how I make him feel. Being the man of many words that he is , he said, "Good."
> 
> :lol: I said, that's it? He said, "How do you make me feel?" I said, yes. FEEL. Feelings.  He said, "Like home."
> 
> ...


Like home ... that actually sounds very nice to me.  

You know, my home is where she is. If it was just me, I'd be perfectly happy living in a studio apartment, or a mobile home even. I want a big house because I want to give her the best I can offer her, but that big house would just be a big house if she wasn't there. When she's there, and she has made it her home, then it is my home. She's travelled with me and had a lot of addresses with me, but wherever we go, our house is just a house until she makes it her home. When she makes it her home, I'm home.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Awesome....
Sounds not so spectacular to use one word... 
But... Awesome...

Why? Because, she hears and listens to me... Even when I rant about my day...

She cooks for me... Not that because I can't do it myself thing... But if I say "I keep smelling tacos everywhere" she'll make me tacos and say "you must have been hungry for tacos, if you keep smelling it"...

Okay, maybe a corny example, but that's who we are...

She tells me in funny and make her laugh...
So I don't care if anyone else laugh or not, as long as I keep her smiling that's all that matters...

If I could come up with one word better than awesome, I would...
But for now...
AWESOME...


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

She makes me feel like this guy.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Is that a Thundercat?


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

Jeff/BC said:


> She makes me feel like this guy.



Wow, Jeff/BC!!!  Hehe...

Is this a still from Fire and Ice by any chance? Looks like Frank Frazetta's work...


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## SA's husband (Apr 9, 2012)

My wife is always telling me and showing me how she wants me, what I mean to her. When I come home from work, she is there with a smile, sometimes more, life is a surprise, always asks me about my day and sympathizes if it's bad and we laugh hard with the crazy antics at my workplace. She works hard around the house, even helps with projects outside, also takes care of all the finances, kids, etc. 

I could never find a more dedicated woman, I always feel loved and needed. She is the best.


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

Marielle said:


> Is this a still from Fire and Ice by any chance? Looks like Frank Frazetta's work...


I actually don't know which work in specific (edited to add... google reverse image search informs me that's from _John Carter, Warlord of Mars_). I just googled Frazetta and picked an image that looked right. 

That's an old joke between Carol and I. One time she asked me this same question and I was casting about for a way to answer. I looked down by my bedside and there was one of those fantasy books with a cover much like that and I snatched it up and said, "You make me feel like THIS guy."

On the whole, I enjoy it but I'm not sure it's a good thing for the rest of the world. I was probably more than arrogant enough before she made me feel like THAT guy LOL.


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

Jeff/BC said:


> .....On the whole, I enjoy it but I'm not sure it's a good thing for the rest of the world. I was probably more than arrogant enough before she made me feel like THAT guy LOL.


I don't know about arrogance, but well, if you guys are happy that's all that matters, right? BTW, Frazetta's Carol looks hot!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife makes me feel like a king.
I am the best grill chef, I'm sexy as Hell, the best lover, I have a huge wiener, I work hard, I provide everything that she wants, needs, and desires, emotionally, fiscally and physically.
To her, I am the bomb.com.
To me, she is everything that I've ever dreamed of in a woman. She's sexy, sweet, well grounded, smart, a great cook, she keeps our home spotless, and my best friend in the whole world.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

SA's husband said:


> My wife is always telling me and showing me how she wants me, what I mean to her. When I come home from work, she is there with a smile, sometimes more, life is a surprise, always asks me about my day and sympathizes if it's bad and we laugh hard with the crazy antics at my workplace. She works hard around the house, even helps with projects outside, also takes care of all the finances, kids, etc.
> 
> I could never find a more dedicated woman, I always feel loved and needed. She is the best.


Mine too. She makes sure I feel like the King. She strokes my ego constantly which is pretty difficult as It is almost non existant.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Stonewall said:


> Mine too. She makes sure I feel like the King. She strokes my ego constantly which is pretty difficult as It is almost non existant.


Oh God Stonewall, gotta love you --AGAIN.....My husband IS exactly the same.... no freaking EGO at all !!! The man would cringe and mumble if he had to stand there and List why he is "the bomb"...... I mean, he is proud of so very much in our life/ family/ the kids.....he can uplift  them ... but himself... Oh my no! Very very humble man. Love that somehow though! 

He lets me do the bragging.... and well, I can get a little carried away at times. I know how that makes him FEEL though , I enjoy the ego stroking, he so deserves it.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Good question... This post may not help the OP but I thank you for asking the question, as I just asked my husband and we had quite the conversation about it.

He said he feels I bring positive influence to various aspects of his life, that I've introduced him to many things that he wouldn't have enjoyed or even known about (he listed them but I won't bore you with details). He feels I'm very supportive of him, that he can achieve and he's doing alright in the world. He said he knows I find him sexy and he loves the way I show him this. He said I'm steady, not hot and cold, and he appreciates knowing where he stands with me. So that's some of the positives... he also mentioned that at times he feels helpless, for lack of a better word, when he advices me about something but it doesn't seem to help, as I bring up the same issue again. We talked in depth about this and it was really helpful for me to hear. I told him that I do very much listen to him but sometimes I fall into my own patterns of dealing with something. I do know this about myself but hearing it from him has impacted me. This is a good thing.

He laughed and said he'd ask me the same question in return "How he makes me feel?" but said he likely can't handle criticism as well as me. I listed all the GOOD he makes me feel. There were some flip-sides to his view of me, but I don't view it as a criticism, just a healthy difference. I started unexpectedly welling up, when telling him that one of the things I love most about how he makes me feel is that he's my best friend. That he's always in my corner. I love that he gives me tough love and a kick up the ass when needed, and I love when he just gives me a hug when I need that too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

LOL... sound's like Dan's wife makes him feel like THAT GUY too 

I'm buying stock in a sword manufacturer if this trend continues.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

heartsbeating said:


> I started unexpectedly welling up, when telling him that one of the things I love most about how he makes me feel is that he's my best friend. That he's always in my corner. I love that he gives me tough love and a kick up the ass when needed, and I love when he just gives me a hug when I need that too.



I like what you shared here Heartsbeating..... I think we all crave some vulnerable moments like this with our lover ....these are the moments you will carry forever in your heart. You'll revisit those feelings you felt when he was holding you, that security ,that thankfulness that flooded you. 

I can be very emotional (hey I am a woman!) - I have teared up -mascara trailing down my face...so many times over something my husband has said, how he makes me feel in a moment ...or me getting carried away in expressing to him..... then he'll say... "you're gonna make me cry! " ... and sometimes we just ride those emotions out -holding each other tight. 

We can be drippingly sappy !!.....then we'll start laughing about it, making fun of ourselves :rofl:....cause we know how over the top this is.......like >>









He has told me he loves this side of me though, makes him feel deeply loved. Then after that little episode is over....it would be nothing for me to throw him down on the bed & aggressively take him down, time for the whip & chains (I am just kidding!) ... 









It's not all mush by any means! It makes marriage highly enjoyable to have many faces ! Kinda like what you was saying about your husband giving you some tough loving and a kick up the a** !  ... and still moments for an emotional cry and very warm embracing hugs.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Our love languages match, both are words of affirmation and touch, so we haven't had to struggle with making each other feel appreciated.

I agree, this is crucial in a marriage. When you are loved in the way that you can appreciate, marriage is heaven. When you spouse does not do or say things to make you feel special, marriage is a sterile, cold place.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Sometimes she makes me feel like I'm in love with a woman who is rushing off to do something that's on her mind:










Once she's allowed herself to relax, I feel like the most loved and adored man in the world (picture doesn't do my feelings justice, but I figured I'd stick with a pepe le pew theme):


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Oh God Stonewall, gotta love you --AGAIN.....My husband IS exactly the same.... no freaking EGO at all !!! The man would cringe and mumble if he had to stand there and List why he is "the bomb"...... I mean, he is proud of so very much in our life/ family/ the kids.....he can uplift  them ... but himself... Oh my no! Very very humble man. Love that somehow though!
> 
> He lets me do the bragging.... and well, I can get a little carried away at times. I know how that makes him FEEL though , I enjoy the ego stroking, he so deserves it.


SA you and my wife are a champion for low key introverted nice guys of the world.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

Beautiful threat. All of you guys are so lucky.


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