# Is it worth to give up one thing I love and search for another? No infidelity



## yulim (Jan 13, 2010)

Hi All

My wife and I are in our late thirties, we have been married 11 years.
We spent time together, do almost all stuff couples do together. No infidelity

Problem 1
My Wife and I are not having Sex because of "Vaginismus" or/plus ADHD.
Seen 4 specialist doctors and no help.
(My wife is not helping herself by not doing the excerise or routine suggested by the doctors = a mental disorder explained by a pyschiatrist for her unwillingness to cooperate)

Problem 2
I decide to forget about Sex and start wanting to have kids we have discuss this before and after marriage, both agree to having kids.
For the past 5 years my wife have been saying lets do it next year when i press the issue. finally she ran out of excuse and start IUI (Intrauterine insemination) treatment. She chicken out on the final hour short of insemination.

I am running out on patience, every year just get me more angry and emotional. Soluton was to see a pyschiatrist, We decided on seeing her separately.

Now to my horror on my first solo visit, it is either the pyschiatrist is testing my commitment to my marriage or short of telling me that if i want kids this marriage is as good as over as my wife is not someone who will easily change her mind or actions.(another disorder this time mental, ADHD)

Of course i have thought about starting afresh with someone else and end this years of marriage. I love my wife and can give-up on Sex but to give up having kids is too much to add. if she cannot conveive i can accept that fact but she is healthy.

I am not weathly(No adoption or surrogate) and all this medicial help is costly, 
for a pyschiatrist short of telling me to either prepare for a regret of not having kids 10/20 years later or end the relationship head for a divorce as i had done my best. I could not even tell my wife what the doc said. I have the intention of trying one more counselling/pyschiatric help. 

A friend ask *"is it worth to give up one thing I love and search for another?"*

Start afresh after 15 years together day and night (we are working partners, 11 yrs marriage and 4yrs courtship) To find that missing romance, sex and kids(Important)?


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