# is 10th months into separation enough time



## JAYBLACK973 (Feb 21, 2011)

Is 10 months into separation enough time to call it quits. she is the one who wanted it, I was totally agianst the idea or notion of doing so. She said that you separate to work on things. It doesn't seem like our marriage ever really had a chance to survive this. I can't say that I believe her statement that you don't divorce with separating and then she adds why don't you make me miss you. Well how do you make someone miss you if you don't speak. Its like all her statements are bs and I do love her and I'm still very much in love with her. I will admit that I may have emailed and called way to much and may have gone overboard with some of them. The last time we spoke it was like going back in time. She just wants to bring up all the cap we were arguing about. I told here to let go of the past and lets and make a better future. She's way to angry and bitter for me to really reach. I told her that I met with and retained a lawyer. I'm hoping that we can figure out a way to save our marriage and its pretty much up to her.. I recently told her that I won't be responsible for her getting her mail anymore. She had it forwarded but somehow a lot of it still come here. I told her that I will just put return to sender on it. She I told that if she doesn't plan on trying to reconcile then she needs to change her mailing address on her car insurance and not us my address. She has been sticking me with bills galore, from her not paying the ez pass that only she uses and its in my name and not paying a cellphone bill that's in my name also. Just the other day I get something in the mail saying that we are being sued for 12,000 for one of her hospital bills. I find myself not sleeping and anxiety again just like when we first started this journey of separation.
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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

we were separated for 7 months last year (his idea) but at the time i thought we were working on ourselves--his way of doing that was joining match.com...now we're separated 2 months (again his idea) with no intent on working it out, and though he makes small measures to 'make nice' i am done. i was ready to work out anything up until he decided to leave again. this time something broke in me. i can't go back. i think you'll know when you are done.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

JayBlack:

If you two separated with the idea that THAT (and that ALONE) would resolve your issues, it was wishful thinking. The only way a separation (with idea of reconciliation) works is if you BOTH get into counseling (either separately or as a couple) to work on your differences.

Are you willing to go to IC or marriage counseling with your wife?

Is your wife willing to go to IC or marriage counseling with you?

If you're BOTH willing to go and work on your problems SINCERELY, then do it NOW. If one of both of you are unwilling, then just move on to the divorce; because, without two partners willing to give 100% to fix your problems, you're just wasting time/money trying to make counseling work.


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