# Help Please



## Complexities (Oct 25, 2012)

Hi everyone. I appreciate all of your opinions as I am driving myself crazy. Okay, so we have been married for 3 years, together for 5 and a half years. I realize this makes it still a new marriage. The problem is I just dont know if I am happy in it and not sure if we should bother to try anymore. We both spend a lot of time at home and we dont fight. This is a problem though as neither of us are happy. When I say this to my husband and ask if he is he says he is, but I see no way he could be. We do not have sex. Like twice the whole summer. That is my decision primarily, but he doesnt seem to be overly bothered by it. I ask if he is depressed and he says no. Almost all he does though is watch tv and work. He has a good job and so do I. We have no financial strain and no children. We are both largely reasonable people. I just feel like we have no passion and also I feel like he doesnt understand me. We recently have been going to counselling and although it is good and we are both trying more, there is no passion. We have been trying and when he kissed me the other day I felt nothing. Not sure what to do? Any advice??

I should also mention that I have had some stress, family and health. I never feel like he realy understood any of it and even sometimes like he resented me. So I have found other ways of dealing with these things that dont involve him. It has put a ton of distance between us. We have discussed this and he is trying, but Im not sure Im very receptive to it. We are in our 30s

Thanks!


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Complexities said:


> Hi everyone. I appreciate all of your opinions as I am driving myself crazy. Okay, so we have been married for 3 years, together for 5 and a half years. I realize this makes it still a new marriage. The problem is I just dont know if I am happy in it and not sure if we should bother to try anymore. We both spend a lot of time at home and we dont fight. This is a problem though as neither of us are happy. When I say this to my husband and ask if he is he says he is, but I see no way he could be. We do not have sex. Like twice the whole summer. That is my decision primarily, but he doesnt seem to be overly bothered by it. I ask if he is depressed and he says no. Almost all he does though is watch tv and work. He has a good job and so do I. We have no financial strain and no children. We are both largely reasonable people. I just feel like we have no passion and also I feel like he doesnt understand me. We recently have been going to counselling and although it is good and we are both trying more, there is no passion. We have been trying and when he kissed me the other day I felt nothing. Not sure what to do? Any advice??
> 
> I should also mention that I have had some stress, family and health. I never feel like he realy understood any of it and even sometimes like he resented me. So I have found other ways of dealing with these things that dont involve him. It has put a ton of distance between us. We have discussed this and he is trying, but Im not sure Im very receptive to it. We are in our 30s
> 
> Thanks!


Sounds like you are both unhappy but you are "unhappier" than he is. 

Do you feel that you resent him for not supporting you during your stress/family/health issues?

Was your sex life ever good?


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## Complexities (Oct 25, 2012)

Thanks so much for getting back to me!

No it wasnt really ever awesome. We did used to have sex almost everyday though so it was ok, just not amazing.

I do resent him for that. The problem is he was physically there, just not how I needed him to be.

Do we have any hope or should we just move on?

Thanks!


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