# BS male VS BS female ?



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Don't know how to do a poll, but I am really starting to notice that there seems to be many more BS Male compared to BS Females.

Would really like to see some numbers. Just don't know how to create a poll. I tried but didn't notice anything when I tested it out. 

I'm also wondering why and that many are around the 12 to 15 year mark.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I've done this 5 times or so now so I have no interest in doing it again

I count BS male vs BS female threads on the front page of CWI, every time it was a near 50/50 split but the female BS/male WS threads get 3-5 times more replies


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

I think there are more BS females out there compared to BS males myself. I just think there are a lot more WS females out there than people realize. Most people seem to half expect all men to be capable of cheating.

On this site though it appears to be more BS males.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Jasel said:


> I think there are more BS females out there compared to BS males myself. I just think there are a lot more WS females out there than people realize. Most people seem to half expect all men to be capable of cheating.
> 
> On this site though it appears to be more BS males.


I disagree, I think a lot of BS men are able to keep their cheating quiet since a chunk use prostitution and as long as they keep disease free and the money hidden they can get away with it


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Jasel said:


> I think there are more BS females out there compared to BS males myself. I just think there are a lot more WS females out there than people realize. Most people seem to half expect all men to be capable of cheating.
> 
> On this site though it appears to be more BS males.


I think the cheating website am might just corroborate that.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> I disagree, I think a lot of BS men are able to keep their cheating quiet since a chunk use prostitution and as long as they keep disease free and the money hidden they can get away with it


BS = Betrayed spouse.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

whoops brain fart


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

My observation is that the BH's need a lot more help than the BW's here. The men are almost clueless, lack confidence, are afraid to take action and seem almost totally inept as to what to do when faced with serious betrayal. The women, however seem to have things more under control and have a better grips on the dynamics going on and seem to know what they are doing. Just my impression. One reason for this could be is that almost universally, the law is on the side of the woman not the man.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> My observation is that the BH's need a lot more help than the BW's here. The men are almost clueless, lack confidence, are frightened and seem almost totally inept as to what to do when faced with serious betrayal. The women, however seem to have things more under control and have a better grips on the dynamics going on and seem to know what they are doing. Just my impression. One reason for this could be is that almost universally, the law is on the side of the woman not the man.


I really think that's the BH who come to places like this. Honestly most men I know who have been cheated on kick the woman to the curb, move on, and don't look back. Most women I know who have been cheated on just tend to keep putting up with it until they finally get fed up or the man dumps THEM for good.

I think a lot of the male BS who come here tend to be more co-dependant than anything. It's amazing how much better many of them feel once the relationship is finally over and they start getting used to not having their WS around.


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## doc_martin (Oct 19, 2012)

I think there may be a number of variables here.

1.This site may do a better job of catering to what BH's may need to hear. i.e., I know of one online forum on infidelity that seems to be less aggressive at exposing the affair and taking a firm stand. That site seems to be more friendly to a passive, patient, wait and see approach for the WS to return. That is not really supported here, and hence I feel there are more BW at another site I visit. 

2.Men may have more problems opening up to groups of people they "know" and less problems being anonymous. You certainly don't want your close friends calling you a pvssy and telling you to quit crying, and the like. Women may have an easier time opening up and gaining support from those who they know closely and can actively help them

3.It just may be that you notice similarities in stories of BH and take note of those. You'd take less note of the female version as it isn't as pertinent to you since you may be looking for solidarity and tips to apply to your situation.

4.Sampling error. There may be not difference as has been pointed out by someone who is willing to actually count.

As always, just an opinion...


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Jasel said:


> I really think that's the BH who come to places like this. Honestly most men I know who have been cheated on kick the woman to the curb, move on, and don't look back. Most women I know who have been cheated on just tend to keep putting up with it until they finally get fed up or the man dumps THEM for good.
> 
> I think a lot of the male BS who come here tend to be more co-dependant than anything. It's amazing how much better many of them feel once the relationship is finally over and they start getting used to not having their WS around.


I was co-dependent so I can agree with what your saying.

I do agree with Middleman as well. Which falls into the co-dependent issue.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Jasel said:


> I think a lot of the male BS who come here tend to be more co-dependant than anything.


I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. This is not meant to be disrespectful to any one individual, but I find your observation could very well explain why many BH's are insistent on reconciliation regardless of the depth of their WW's betrayal.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I've done this 5 times or so now so I have no interest in doing it again
> 
> I count BS male vs BS female threads on the front page of CWI, every time it was a near 50/50 split but the female BS/male WS threads get 3-5 times more replies


I tend to post on the male BS threads more than female threads. Why? Only becuase I feel much more comfortable posting to a husband about what to do.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> I tend to post on the male BS threads more than female threads. Why? Only becuase I feel much more comfortable posting to a husband about what to do.


Same here, but let's face it, they do need the help more.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I'd also guess that as a guy, talking to your buddies about infidelity of your wife is a lot harder than the annonomous forum. I still haven't told my closest male friend out of fear of being judged for staying.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Racer said:


> I'd also guess that as a guy, talking to your buddies about infidelity of your wife is a lot harder than the annonomous forum. I still haven't told my closest male friend out of fear of being judged for staying.


That's a good point. My friend is basically still allowing his cheating ex-girlfriend to live at his place rent free while he "figures things out" after he caught her cheating on him on New Years and they broke up. D-Day was 3 months now and whenever he mentions her name I just have to change the subject because everytime we're having a discussion and her name comes up I have to restrain myself to not blurt out "WHY THE **** IS SHE STILL LIVING THERE???? WHY HAVEN'T YOU KICKED HER OUT?!?!?! THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!"

I don't do this of course. Fortunately I found TAM back in mid December so I had somewhat of an idea that it's not simple like that for everyone. But I did make sure to tell him not to tell any of our mutual friends HOW they broke up. Because I know they would come down on him like a ton of bricks and not let up.

I'll talk about his situation with my mom but won't even go there with him. Because as sympathetic as I feel I have to admit I've lost some respect for him with how he's been handling that.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Hardtohandle said:


> Don't know how to do a poll, but I am really starting to notice that there seems to be many more BS Male compared to BS Females.


Only on this site for some reason. Its the opposite on the other site (SI).


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