# PTSD-Like Symptoms?



## OrangeCrayon (Jul 13, 2015)

Hi all,

I’ve posted here several times before. In a nutshell, my ex and I were married for 12 years and have 2 children. In the last 3 years, he had an emotional affair with a coworker and then (while our son was fighting cancer) a physical affair with a different coworker. 

We’ve been separated since May, but last month he decided out of nowhere to confess the extent of his 2nd affair with his coworker (who also happened to be my friend). 

Lately, I’ve been having some terrible reactions when I see something or think of something that reminds me of the affair. For example, I drove by a restaurant that the three of us went to one night. At the time, they were already in the throws of the affair (although I didn’t know it at the time). After I passed it, I had to pull over because I was shaking so badly and couldn’t breathe. I just couldn’t help it. My body just reacted. The same thing happened again this morning. I was getting something in my drawer and came across a souvenir I bought myself while on vacation. I happened to buy the OW the same thing because we were friends and happened to have the same interests. When I saw it, I broke down again - shaking uncontrollably, hard time breathing, sobbing. Is this normal? 

I was in therapy for over a year to help me cope with my son’s illness. I’m now considering going back. I need to be strong for my kids and these reactions are debilitating. Has anyone else gone through this?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Let me think.

Probably everyone has. Yes. That's it.

Everyone.

Some admit it, some don't. Some get drunk to cover it up. Some have less of it, and some more.

What matters is how much it debilitates you, and if you control it or it controls you. Because it bothers you it is a problem for you.

If counseling works for you then you should go. 

Do not think you are alone.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Look up “post infidelity stress disorder”.


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## OrangeCrayon (Jul 13, 2015)

Thank you both.


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## lala911 (Feb 23, 2018)

HI Orange, 

My husband had a physical affair with a woman and I discovered it when I read his email on his birthday because she sent him a birthday email right at midnight. Just writing about this gives me the same symptoms. I never saw what she looked like, but her name is all I know, so every time I see names its like her name is in BOLD for me and it reminds me. It's tougher when I meet someone with that name or someone saids the name around me. It's so incredibly hard and it devastates me. If you listen to podcasts, look up healing broken trust. It helped me understand what I was feeling and then I shared some of the episodes with my husband so he would understand. In my situation, I 'm starting to realize that my husbands values deteriorated and mine have not. I would not cheat because of my values. 

As far as your feelings, its normal to feel the way you do. I go to therapy and I write in a journal. What helped me the most was to write a letter to the woman telling her how much I hated her, I didn't mail it, but it got my feelings off my chest. Give it a try.


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