# 3 months & still no closure.....what to do?



## Yanni (Sep 14, 2011)

Me and my ex of 6 months broke up exactly 90 days ago to this day. She was a black out alcoholic and in short, completely bailed on our plans by ignoring me through cell and text message communication. I bust her the next morning getting dropped by another guy whom she spent the night with. 

I'm 99.9% sure she cheated. Our relationship was amazing when she was sober and started attending AA for a couple of months, but the addiction overwhelmed her at her young age. 

I have not spoken to her since the morning I blew up and insulted her the morning of seeing her with someone else. She texted me a month after our break up "Im sorry" to which I did not reply. I wasn't even sure what she was apologizing for. 

I'm skipping many details, but I'm having issues dealing with closure. I understand Alcoholism is a disease and I'm torn with the decision to ever forgiving her one day. She has cheated on her ex's in the past as well, but she didn't realize she had a problem until she met me. 

I just want to get over this and move on. I'm doing all the right things. Reading breakup books and living my life, but still she is on my mind and we never talked about what happened. Just ended so abruptly. 

Would talking to her give me the closure I desire? I have a fear it wont and I will just feel worse after. Am I better off just continuing to let time heal this wound? 

Sorry for the long post.....tried to leave in only the important details.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Yeah man... that alcoholism is not going to fix itself, nor will it care about your need for closure. Thats going to unfortunately have to be one of the rare instances that it comes from within you.

You mention "broke-up" so I imagine you were not actually married?
This seems like quite a track record this girl has, and as hard as it is, COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS BRO!!!!

Try investing sixteen years into, having children with, pursuing allllll the dreams of a married life with someone only to have them do this sh&t to ya.
---run.. run like hell...


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Yanni,

This is not the board for you. Sorry


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## Yanni (Sep 14, 2011)

Shoeguy said:


> Yanni,
> 
> This is not the board for you. Sorry


 Where is better for me to ask this quesiton? Thanks.

Thanks for the following replies. 

I'm not considering getting back together with her again, but my issue now is that I'm having trouble getting closure. 

Should I just keep going on and let this pass whenever it maybe or should I confront her about what happened? Will that help me get closure. I'm just trying to figure out what will help speed up my healing as I don't want to feel like this anymore. 

Any input is greatly appreciated.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Well Yanni I'm trying to get closure myself after ending a relationship of 23 yrs. There are lots of posts about the 180. Maybe you should try that. Which is basically move on and go to the next fish in the sea.

Since you are talking about a three month timeframe I don't have much persepctive on what to tell you. I would think it should be a good time to move on since you do not want to get back with her.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Shoeguy said:


> There are lots of posts about the 180. Maybe you should try that. Which is basically move on and go to the next fish in the sea.


Eh, the 180 isn't about "go to the next fish in the sea."

It's about doing the opposite of what yo normally do and trying new things. 

Yanni, go no contact with her and be glad you got away from a relationship with an alcoholic. Thank goodness it ended only 6 months in and not 6 years and a marriage/divorce later.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Sorry Jellybeans You are right my last post I made didn't come out right. there should have been an OR in there not and.


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