# If you were dumped, do you wish your X failure?



## mr. blue

My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore. 

Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she *doesn’t* find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was *better* than what's out there.

Maybe it’s selfish, but *I* want to be the greenest grass on the block.


----------



## nice777guy

One of the phrases stuck in my mind:

"Her failures will not be my successes. And - her successes will not be my failures."

Along with:

"Life's good, but not always fair."

Because we have two young kids together, I really hope for THEIR sake that she does well and grows up. If she continues to struggle, I'm afraid of the effect it will have on our kids.

And sorry - really not judging you. But I've learned that being angry at someone who doesn't care only hurts "me."


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

NO!
But I heard he had some kind of accident. Probably deflected anger :-(


----------



## Runs like Dog

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You're a beotch
I blew up your car


----------



## Jellybeans

Nope. Always wish the best. 

What's that saying? Holding onto anger &bitterness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die


----------



## solitudeseeker

Do I wish him failure - the husband who cheated on me, gave me an STD, took $20,000 from our equity account without telling me, berated me about my inadequate personality, ran around having fun while I worked all the time, and generally treated me so badly that I nearly had a breakdown?

The man who, last month when we were both sitting at our daughter's bedside after she was brought to the emergency room in an ambulance, refused to go out and find me a candy bar when I asked him if he would mind? (This after he had asked me if I could give him some money to bail his car out of the hospital parking lot, which I willingly gave. And that day happened to be my birthday too.) What a guy.

Uh, yes. Sometimes, I wish very much that he experience relationship failure and emotional pain. It may not be healthy for me, or very admirable, but the ugly little desire is there without a doubt. I won't pretend it isn't.

But only when I'm feeling particularly crabby. I don't let it consume me. I'm gradually getting better at putting him out of my thoughts entirely, and that is infinitely better.


----------



## bandit.45

Right now I would love to see my skank STBXW fall into a swimming pool full of Portuguese Man 'O Wars. 

...or get hit by a bus. Take yer pick.


----------



## Runs like Dog

In the movie "For the Boys" Bette Midler and James Caan are married. Years later after their son is killed and they're divorced, he goes to meet her backstage. He asks her "Mind if I smoke?" to which she says "I don't care if you burn"


----------



## ishe?

I want him to fall madly in love with someone, spend a decade with them, have two children, trust them implicitly then I want her to ceat on him with a teenage and lie to her for a year! Only then will he ever had any idea what he has put me through!

It's not going to happen so the best I can sinus move on with my life and be happy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## madaboutlove

NO, I told my sister today, my H is gone, the man he used to be no longer exists, I can't even think of anything worse for him than what he did, threw away a 28 year long marriage, loving wife, great family, nice friends and the trust of his young adult sons. I don't think I need to do any wishing, he already got the worst of this


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

This morning I suddenly remembered a conversation I had with my H, after exposure, etc. I asked him what he was most afraid of, and he said 'failure'. I thought about the 5 years he lied to me and cheated me, I thought about the rape and molestation, I thought about the lack of trust he brought on by telling me he could hit me but chose not to, I thought about how he went climbing instead of to the hospital with me, when he gaslighted me so badly I thought I might be crazy. I thought about the control maneuvers, the 'lost' power of attorney, the provoking behavior, the comments and accusations to me of having a boyfriend and him always suggesting we have a threesome with my friends and insinuating I wanted to f*ck my son's best friend. I laughed and told him he'd already failed. Then I realized that his idea of success might be different, if he hadn't realized that he had failed. So I asked what success was, and it wasn't defined in things like trust or love, but money and power. I realized this morning that to check 'irreconcilable differences' isn't a lie after all.

I felt bad for laughing at him but really it never occurred to me that he could justify everything he did because the ends was defined as 'success', meaning ending up with a big pot of financial assets and 100% control over wife including her time and sexuality, person and personhood and reality. He acted insulted and said he won't share anything with me ever again. I'm so hurt! :rofl:

The truth is, our cheaters have already failed.
We don't have to accept their version of success, which is to have someone by their side, by manipulative or false pretenses. Or to have money, or power that is not given as a gift or earned gracefully and with humility.


----------



## Lon

I never enjoy seeing someone suffer, however I don't want my ex to reap a bunch of rewards for her choice to use me and discard me.

OTOH, she is the mother of my child and anything that makes his life is better so some success in her life may be setting the kind of example that would help him have success in his own. Also, since its shared custody, if she suddenly becomes wealthy and brings home more income then it means less child support that I have to pay, heck maybe she would have high enough income that I end up receiving payments from her instead?


----------



## southbound

mr. blue said:


> My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
> 
> Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she *doesn’t* find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was *better* than what's out there.
> 
> Maybe it’s selfish, but *I* want to be the greenest grass on the block.


I don't wish her any real harm, but if she falls on her face with relationships, I won't cry any tears. She's already gotten a good dose from a guy. She dated a guy for a while and she acted like he was awesome. He dumped her and is already engaged to someone else. As far as I'm concerned, she got a dose of reality. We had a good thing, but she needed greener grass, but it turned brown rather quickly.


----------



## 2nd_t!me iz_best

no, not failure, but it would be sweet to win the lottery the day after the divorce is finalized


----------



## cryin

mr. blue said:


> My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
> 
> Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she *doesn’t* find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was *better* than what's out there.
> 
> Maybe it’s selfish, but *I* want to be the greenest grass on the block.


 imo: people who leave a marriage "cause they're not in love anymore or not happy" are already on a path of self destruction anyway. Their lives are usually full of damage that they cause to others. They don't love themselves and aren't capable of loving anyone else. Its especially apparent if kids are involved. 

The other person will not make them happy and will dump them on their arse at some point. We make ourselves happy as individuals. IMO the key to that is really being grateful for what you already have in your life. 

But these types of people are self entitled and sociopathic in nature. They're not grateful for anything or anyone. (even their own children..they will say "the kids will be fine" or "the kids will be ok" They justify the harm that they cause to others with self entitled nonsense. 

They won't find an "upgrade" because there is no such thing. That "upgrade" will have a whole new set of issues and problems. Those issues and problems will cause that "new" relationship to fail. when the chemical high wears off and commitment and real work are needed in the relationship. 

people "fall in love" but commitment is what makes a marriage.

Love is a choice........people choose to love and be committed to a person and family. 

If you have been "dumped" divorced by your ex spouse, they have chosen not to love you.


----------



## CSeryllum

I don't wish her harm, or really any "failure" in life...

though, she makes a six figure income, is gorgeous, and men hit on her all the time....right now she is "living the dream" i guess....

Part of me hope she gets real ugly, real fast...loses her job...loses her house (well, our old house we had together) her car...etc...


HOWEVER--- that's just my bitterness...and I wouldn't really wish that upon her....

I do, however, hope she finds someone, and falls madly in love with him, like I was to her....and he burns her, as badly, or worse than she burned me....just so she'll know how it feels. I think she needs that little bit of perspective in life.


----------



## carol

I was dumped after 23 years together with no warning. Said he didn't love me anymore!! It doesn't really matter why she left you does it? No answer she gives you would be good enough. She is a different person than she was when you married 20 years ago, and so are you.

You need to move on and be concerned about yourself and not her. Do you think she carries you around in her head like you carry her? This bitterness is only hurting you. And believe me, other women will see this in you. Why not work on being the greenest grass for someone else!




mr. blue said:


> My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
> 
> Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she *doesn’t* find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was *better* than what's out there.
> 
> Maybe it’s selfish, but *I* want to be the greenest grass on the block.


----------



## madaboutlove

I agree Carol, although I have trouble keeping my head and my heart talking to each other, I don't wish him any harm or to be unlucky in love in the future, I still wish he would wake up and realize what he is missing by ending our marriage. And why would I want that if I wasn't still in love with him.


----------



## In_The_Wind

I don't think that I would I was married to my first wife for 4 yrs and she cheated on me and I divorced her
I was taught that if one of loses the other loses in divorce. I have been married to my 2nd wife for 12 yrs and we have a fantastic marriage and my ex spouse has continued down the same road going from relationship to relationship the only common denominator I see is her she hasn't learned anything from her action as the saying goes nothing changes nothing changes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## proudwidaddy

I don't wish her long term failure, however since I treated her so good and she treated me as disposable, as long as it doesn't affect the kids I would like the next guy(s) that she is with to treat her like crap, I want them to be *********s to her. I always made sure she came first (even in the bedroom). So if she is acting all vain, self centered, just out there with her rocking body, I want some guy to treat her like just a piece of a**, nothing more.

She doesn't deserve a great guy like me right now.


----------



## Agast84

I don't wish her failure or success. I want the guy to have the same situation I did. She refused to live without her mother in our arrangement. Yes, we married young, but I was apparently ready for it, she wasn't. She supposedly is in therapy for her "intimacy issues" which is kind of a stab in the heart considering she said no to any form the entire relationship and marriage. Call me controlling, call me an a**hole, call me depressed, I know why I was all these things. Communication is important. Good luck with the next one... our girls better not pay for it.


----------



## hesnothappy

My ex dumped in a terrible manner, but I still pray for him and his well being. He still has my SD with him and I pray that she gets everything she needs for a successful life. But he is a dog azz mofo who I am learning is a semi classic sociopath. But he got good in him, just not with me. Plus, if that bus woulda hit him, everything would have been terrible.....I kid...I pray for the best of us all...the leavers and the leavees.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Who?


----------



## LauraF

In_The_Wind said:


> I don't think that I would I was married to my first wife for 4 yrs and she cheated on me and I divorced her
> I was taught that if one of loses the other loses in divorce. I have been married to my 2nd wife for 12 yrs and we have a fantastic marriage and my ex spouse has continued down the same road going from relationship to relationship the only common denominator I see is her she hasn't learned anything from her action as the saying goes nothing changes nothing changes
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But you cheated, too, didnt you? (I think i remember the motorcycle avatar)
So your ex went down one path, but you did too.
We all have stuff to work out, and its kind of weird you guys did the same thing to your spouses yet you hold what she did against her.

Nothing personal against you, but I generally have a problem with the pot calling the kettle back. just sayin.


----------



## cryin

LauraF said:


> Commitment is a choice but love really isnt. You love who you love, and if its real it can last. its not something you have to work on, you just love them.
> if the love is gone, entirely gone, then staying with someone is only a preservance of the status quo.
> 
> Thats my romantic notion anyways.
> 
> 
> And I dont wish any of my X's failure. They will have the same ups and downs as anybody else, with or without my watchful eye


IMO: I think it is a romantic notion and Nicholas sparks capitalizes well on that.

Human beings get a dopamine rush the first 18-36 months of marriage at which point it comes back down to normal levels. At this point people make a choice to love someone as the chemical high is over. The 3 Year mark is high for divorce in couples with no kids.

The Commitment to loving someone through good and bad times is what will make a marriage last a lifetime. 

Imo The "If its real" is the dopamine high your referring to. The "honeymoon phase" Nicholas sparks fantasy...Hence the divorce rate. 

I don't need to wish my ex failure as its already in motion.


----------



## LauraF

cryin said:


> IMO: I think it is a romantic notion and Nicholas sparks capitalizes well on that.
> 
> Human beings get a dopamine rush the first 18-36 months of marriage at which point it comes back down to normal levels. At this point people make a choice to love someone as the chemical high is over. The 3 Year mark is high for divorce in couples with no kids.
> 
> The Commitment to loving someone through good and bad times is what will make a marriage last a lifetime.
> 
> Imo The "If its real" is the dopamine high your referring to. The "honeymoon phase" Nicholas sparks fantasy...Hence the divorce rate.
> 
> I don't need to wish my ex failure as its already in motion.


I was married for 7 years. THeres no romance left, no romantic notion.
Do i think love can be worked on, created, synthsized? The older I get, the less I think so.
You either love someone, or you dont. I stand by that. Its not a romantic notion, its just how it always happened for me. For many i know. and I am not referring to a dopamine high. I mean deep, warm, calm love, the thing you feel for someone you have known for a long time.
We're hijacking this thread thanks to me so if you want to talk about this, we should probably start a new one.


----------



## cryin

LauraF said:


> I was married for 7 years. THeres no romance left, no romantic notion.
> Do i think love can be worked on, created, synthsized? The older I get, the less I think so.
> You either love someone, or you dont. I stand by that. Its not a romantic notion, its just how it always happened for me. For many i know. and I am not referring to a dopamine high. I mean deep, warm, calm love, the thing you feel for someone you have known for a long time.
> We're hijacking this thread thanks to me so if you want to talk about this, we should probably start a new one.


I was married for 7 years too. Did you love your ex when you got married? 

You said " its just how it always happened for me" so by that you mean its happened more than once ?

The "romance" that you had in the beginning of your relationship was blown out of proportion by the chemical high you were experiencing, and it will happen in the next relationship. "love drunk" if you will. 

One day that "calm warm love" will need to be chosen & commitment to sustain.

Im taking a huge guess but do you have kids? 7 years sounds right.


----------



## LauraF

Cryin, Wanna move this convo to the 7 year itch thread?
Its pretty much what this is about anyways


----------



## cryin

LauraF said:


> Cryin, Wanna move this convo to the 7 year itch thread?
> Its pretty much what this is about anyways


OK


----------



## proudwidaddy

I used to wish my wife failure, but if she is miserable then my kids will not be happy.

I've heard the best revenge is to live an amazing life, let them see you happy. That's what I'm trying to do now.


----------



## Jayb

proudwidaddy said:


> I used to wish my wife failure, but if she is miserable then my kids will not be happy.
> 
> I've heard the best revenge is to live an amazing life, let them see you happy. That's what I'm trying to do now.


Yes! And as much as I think I'll settle for someone less, there is a possibility I'll find someone even more. Better looking, wealthier, more stable, etc.

Then..............a big FU!!

For all of the hurt, pain, etc. that I had to endure. Wishing, hoping, waiting.

Expressing all of my thoughts. Communicating all of my needs, wants, desires. Changing, etc. All of it unreciprocated.


----------



## rome2012

mr. blue said:


> My XW blindsided me with a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. No warning, no discussion, no counseling, no nothing. She was likely having an affair. Regardless, the calling for greener grass was apparently too strong for her to ignore.
> 
> Although I will always have feelings for her, I can’t help secretly wishing she *doesn’t* find an "upgrade". I hope she realizes what we had was *better* than what's out there.
> 
> Maybe it’s selfish, but *I* want to be the greenest grass on the block.


Most definitely !!! I hope that one day (even if it's 4 years from now) he'll realize I haven't been all that bad !!!

Right now it seems his new girlfriend is "quite a catch" (sarcasm) and I'm happy about that, but if he ever will realize she's no good for him....who knows


----------



## Dollystanford

I genuinely wish him well - if he screws his life up there's more of a chance he might want to come back and I don't want him back 

I have no problem telling him that but who needs the drama?


----------



## hookares

I watched my mother waste her life waiting for her cheating ex-husband to return to her. Any of you who are suffering from the same thing need to give more consideration to YOURSELF.


----------



## remmons

cryin said:


> imo: people who leave a marriage "cause they're not in love anymore or not happy" are already on a path of self destruction anyway. Their lives are usually full of damage that they cause to others. They don't love themselves and aren't capable of loving anyone else. Its especially apparent if kids are involved.
> 
> The other person will not make them happy and will dump them on their arse at some point. We make ourselves happy as individuals. IMO the key to that is really being grateful for what you already have in your life.
> 
> But these types of people are self entitled and sociopathic in nature. They're not grateful for anything or anyone. (even their own children..they will say "the kids will be fine" or "the kids will be ok" They justify the harm that they cause to others with self entitled nonsense.
> 
> They won't find an "upgrade" because there is no such thing. That "upgrade" will have a whole new set of issues and problems. Those issues and problems will cause that "new" relationship to fail. when the chemical high wears off and commitment and real work are needed in the relationship.
> 
> people "fall in love" but commitment is what makes a marriage.
> 
> Love is a choice........people choose to love and be committed to a person and family.
> 
> If you have been "dumped" divorced by your ex spouse, they have chosen not to love you.


Wow, did this just sum up my life or what!


----------



## remmons

There are times where I want for her to hit a deer while on her way to the city. But there are times where I do wish her the best of luck. I am feeling a love/hate situation brewing and I am trying my best to not to let the hate come through.


----------



## Runs like Dog

On a scale of one to Chris Brown, sometimes I want to be the last thing she sees as the lights go out forever.


----------



## cryin

remmons said:


> There are times where I want for her to hit a deer while on her way to the city. But there are times where I do wish her the best of luck. I am feeling a love/hate situation brewing and I am trying my best to not to let the hate come through.


 I saw where your exw was engaged 2 mos after the D. Sounds like my exw, but she moved him into the house with my kids. She is on her way to a 4th marriage.

After telling my therapist my exw's background and her past, he has point blank told me she has a psychological- personality disorder. Said that failure is imminent for her so I don't need to wish it. It's like watching a super slow motion train wreck from my end. The only problem is that more damage will be inflicted upon my kids due to her screwed up head.


----------



## remmons

cryin said:


> I saw where your exw was engaged 2 mos after the D. Sounds like my exw, but she moved him into the house with my kids. She is on her way to a 4th marriage.
> 
> After telling my therapist my exw's background and her past, he has point blank told me she has a psychological- personality disorder. Said that failure is imminent for her so I don't need to wish it. It's like watching a super slow motion train wreck from my end. The only problem is that more damage will be inflicted upon my kids due to her screwed up head.


If I had posted that she was engaged two months after our divorce, please accept my apologies for the misinformation. My X had posted on FB that she was engaged two months _before_ our divorce was final. Even with a no-contact order in place, she had came up to my place of employment, twice, to get me to sign the divorce papers. I wanted to be sure that we both were getting a fair share of everything, including visitations with my daughter, before I signed the papers. I never knew what her urgency was until long after the divorce was final. To rub salt into my wound she was engaged the day after my birthday.

I have been told by a couple of her family members that she was on the path of self-destruction, and that she will never have green grass on her side of the fence. I have been told by "others" (I won't say who, but they are professionals in their field of training and expertise) that she has a psychological- personality disorder as well, but not in the same words as described here. So with this in mind, why would I want a train wreck back? Maybe I am asking for punishment to stay connected? Maybe her family thinks that I can turn her life around? Maybe I think that I can finally turn her life around? maybe there are so many good memories that I am not willing to rewrite yet? Maybe I only want to be involved with our child's life? Who knows? For what ever the reason, I am not quite prepared to let go due to that there was no closure and that the healing process is still on-going.


----------



## nice777guy

remmons said:


> If I had posted that she was engaged two months after our divorce, please accept my apologies for the misinformation. My X had posted on FB that she was engaged two months _before_ our divorce was final. Even with a no-contact order in place, she had came up to my place of employment, twice, to get me to sign the divorce papers. I wanted to be sure that we both were getting a fair share of everything, including visitations with my daughter, before I signed the papers. I never knew what her urgency was until long after the divorce was final. To rub salt into my wound she was engaged the day after my birthday.
> 
> I have been told by a couple of her family members that she was on the path of self-destruction, and that she will never have green grass on her side of the fence. I have been told by "others" (I won't say who, but they are professionals in their field of training and expertise) that she has a psychological- personality disorder as well, but not in the same words as described here. So with this in mind, why would I want a train wreck back? Maybe I am asking for punishment to stay connected? Maybe her family thinks that I can turn her life around? Maybe I think that I can finally turn her life around? maybe there are so many good memories that I am not willing to rewrite yet? Maybe I only want to be involved with our child's life? Who knows? For what ever the reason, I am not quite prepared to let go due to that there was no closure and that the healing process is still on-going.


Just be aware that sometimes you have to make your own "closure." 

And - if you have a daughter together - well - I'm still trying to figure that one out some days myself...


----------



## remmons

nice777guy said:


> Just be aware that sometimes you have to make your own "closure."
> 
> And - if you have a daughter together - well - I'm still trying to figure that one out some days myself...


:iagree:

I was just thinking of how I can find closure when I was also reading and posting on the thread http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/43798-what-did-you-do-mementos.html

Maybe reading up on some of these posts will help me to finally find closure.

With a daughter between us, this makes it seem more difficult than what it should be.


----------



## Shaggy

Yes. Without qualification or limit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## quickdraw

cryin said:


> imo: people who leave a marriage "cause they're not in love anymore or not happy" are already on a path of self destruction anyway. Their lives are usually full of damage that they cause to others. They don't love themselves and aren't capable of loving anyone else. Its especially apparent if kids are involved.
> 
> The other person will not make them happy and will dump them on their arse at some point. We make ourselves happy as individuals. IMO the key to that is really being grateful for what you already have in your life.
> 
> But these types of people are self entitled and sociopathic in nature. They're not grateful for anything or anyone. (even their own children..they will say "the kids will be fine" or "the kids will be ok" They justify the harm that they cause to others with self entitled nonsense.
> 
> They won't find an "upgrade" because there is no such thing. That "upgrade" will have a whole new set of issues and problems. Those issues and problems will cause that "new" relationship to fail. when the chemical high wears off and commitment and real work are needed in the relationship.
> 
> people "fall in love" but commitment is what makes a marriage.
> 
> Love is a choice........people choose to love and be committed to a person and family.
> 
> If you have been "dumped" divorced by your ex spouse, they have chosen not to love you.


Cryin - This piece describes my situation perfectly. You have no idea how brilliant this writing is, and how much better I feel about myself just having read it. THANK YOU!!!


----------



## kruppmart

Well, I will never look back and care what happens to her or to her children (we do not have children together). Do I wish her luck? No ... Do I wish her anything bad happening (sickness, accident)? No
But I believe she will gets what she deserves (in a negative way), and I even do not have to do anything. In 5-10 years her surface beauty will be gone, and she cannot lure anymore men into her life to suck their money out. That's when she will be in a hole, and not come out of it ever again. Meanwhile, I will sit on my deck on the ocean and posting sundown pictures on facebook


----------



## nice777guy

I hope she experiences minor bladder control problems...and maybe a genital wart or two...

Otherwise I wish her nothing but the best!!!

And genital warts.


----------



## babyowlsrcute

I didn't have to wish this, he failed all by himself
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LoveMouse

The only time I wish bad things to happen to the X is when she's rotten to the kids...and that's every day.
BUT I do find lots of humor in her "Mr. Wonderful"....like yesterday, her car was acting up, the only repair he knows is to replace the battery. Well, I happen to be quite informed on a lot of GM cars and knew it was her fuel pump and I've known this for about a month. So I tell the OB to let him know it was the fuel pump and he might as well change the filter while he's @ it. My son offers him the advice and is told he doesn't know anything about cars and keep his comments to him self.  The boy then goes and lets mom know it's the fuel pump, she tells him he has no idea about cars and to leave the repairs to her "new man". (my son has taken a tractor apart and back together by himself)
Last night she breaks down, she pays for a tow so a GM guy can tell her she needs a new fuel pump and a filter. LMAO Could have fixed it for $150 but now she's looking @ $700min. LMAO and my son looks like he's smarter than her "Mr. Wonderful" LMAO
Happy bad things happen? No, I just like being smarter.
Mouse


----------



## arbitrator

I don't really wish my STBXW any ill-will at all. I just hope and pray that one day she will see the error of her ways and will come to embrace what true remorse is, if that is at all possible. I'd greatly like to think of a conscience being defined as the sublimeal voice of God talking to and counseling us on both our actions and our inactions, and how those choices that we make are truly made to the service to Him as well as to our fellow man. 

At one point in time, I might well have considered R, but, alas, that man no longer exists. I may have forgiven her, but I will never live long enough to ever forget! But, in retrospect, I truly feel that that is more of a human characteristic than one ordained by God.


----------



## arbitrator

LoveMouse said:


> Happy bad things happen? No, I just like being smarter.
> Mouse



Just reason on you and your son's part to gloat in private, smiling from ear to ear, and lip syncing the fateful words, "I told you so!"


----------



## cherokee96red

Don't need to wish him to fail.
He does both the wishing and failing for me.
No matter what I say to him, he contorts and twists it until it resembles (to him anyway) ill will from me on him.
Can't claim to not have wished him ill in the last year, but am getting better at not doing it.
For the 2nd time in a year, he is jobless. DS told me last night. This has been the pattern for 23 years. No surprise there.

So I just sit back and enjoy the show that Karma is providing whilst I munch on hot, buttery popcorn.
Whatever he "suffers" is a result of his decision to desert his family for a moral and ethically devoid illusion of an OW.


----------



## Nsweet

I don't have to wish my cheating ex wife failure.... simply because the relationship with the dirtbag she left me for has about as much of a chance of surviving as I do winning the lottery TWICE. 

I'm not even jealous at this point and I'm just going to sit back and watch the codependent control freak kindergarten teacher try to change a lazy alcoholic pothead go nowhere musician into a descent man. 

I'm not quite over this whole thing but at least I've come to terms with how I can do so much better and deserve a faithful partner. If she did come back (and the odds are in my favor she's likely too), I would so turn the tables on that piece of sh!t and give him something to cry about.


----------



## seven77heaven

The best revenge is a good life...


----------



## kruppmart

Jayb said:


> Yes! And as much as I think I'll settle for someone less, there is a possibility I'll find someone even more. Better looking, wealthier, more stable, etc.
> 
> Then..............a big FU!!
> 
> For all of the hurt, pain, etc. that I had to endure. Wishing, hoping, waiting.


I feel the same. I believe she knowing that I am doing great while she went down the social ladder, will be the best revenge I can get. No more living in a nice neighborhood ... no more driving nice new cars ... no more vacations in HH and Mexico ... no more spending money for the kids ...
I will just wait for that to happen.


----------



## UpnDown

I just wish her a reality check. That's about it.


----------



## Jellybeans

There is a lot of bitterness in this thread. I don't wish him/her failure BUT.......

LOL


----------



## Jellybeans

kruppmart said:


> I believe she knowing that I am doing great while she went down the social ladder, will be the best revenge I can get. No more living in a nice neighborhood ... no more driving nice new cars ... no more vacations in HH and Mexico ...


She could have all of that again one day. Just saying. 

Life isn't all things about materialism and vacations and cars.


----------



## Sunshine72

Karma is the best. No I'll wishes needed. 

My first husband married OW the day our divorce was final. I knew he was not happy. I also knew she was not the only one. 

Well, 13ish years later. He left her for another woman. Original OW wonders how he could lose his mind and abandon his children.......

We actually became friends over the years so she's venting to me. I don't have the heart to tell her that I remember feeling EXACTLY 
the same way. 

What comes around goes around. Anger only hurts u. Wish everyone well. They'll get what's coming to them all on their own. If you're
lucky you'll get to watch. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

