# Others in our bed



## mrorao (Jun 5, 2009)

For years my husband has asked me to allow another man in our bed to please me not him.

He wants to see me with black men. 

After 12yrs of marriage our sex life is stale boring and almost non existent.

I may go for this to help our marriage. 

My question is how many people do something like this? Does it help the marriage? I"m 41 hubby is 42. we have 4 kids


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

from those married couples i know who have added extra partners in their sex lives, it has not turned out well at all.


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## archstanton (Jun 5, 2009)

Holy mackarel - seems kind of extreme and a little immature on his end. What if your kids found out; would that be worth the thrill?


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

Be careful. Be VERY, VERY careful.
Try to imagine, and explore the ramifications of this, try to get your husband to imagine and explore the ramification of this.
Then, be VERY VERY careful.

In fact. Just don't do it. :nono:


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## mrorao (Jun 5, 2009)

We have done it already. Wednesday evening. Kids went to my sisters. 

i have told only one person about it.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

So, I am dying of curiosity. How did it go? How do you feel now?


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## mrorao (Jun 5, 2009)

I was nervous as hell. It was wierd at first but once we got going it was alot of fun. First time in over 14ys another man has released in me.


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

Oh well...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I guess this is one reason I'm getting a divorce. The stbx jokingly (or so I thought) asked to bring another woman into our bed for years. I said NO! Well, I hear he is doing all kinds of swinging now. Glad it doesn't involve me. Each to his own I guess....


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

mrorao said:


> After 12yrs of marriage our sex life is stale boring and almost non existent.


Who is mostly responsible for that?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i guess she liked it, different strokes for different folks


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Everybody is different? I don't have a problem with them doing it, I'm not sure how I would feel in my own relationship.


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## mrorao (Jun 5, 2009)

It was intense, it was great sex. afterwards the sex between DH and I was awesome as well. I was a very satisified woman that evening.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

ummm, good for you! Did you all take pix?


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

dc... lol you are such a horn dog


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

yeah...as Popeye said: I am who I am!


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## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

I feel that you just started with the nails in the coffin that will be your former marriage. It's all wonderful and exciting now....then comes the accusations, jealousy and fights. I don't get why people do this to themselves and their marriage. Did you and your husband take vows "forsaking all others?" Perhaps you two should have gone to a sex therapist and explored WHY your sex life went down the tubes to begin with. Adding someone else to the mix will only complicate things further. Enjoy the ride now cause it's going to get real bumpy soon!!!


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## iPodder (Jun 7, 2009)

Mrorao, I'm glad you and your husband had a great time. Perhaps it is just what you two needed. My wife and I have been talking about this for a long time and if the time is ever right we'll act on it. I told her about your experience and it made her smile :smthumbup:.


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

Glad it was a good experience.

Just remember that you and your H will still need to sort out why your sex life was stale, boring and non-existent without bringing this third party into the bedroom (and why specifically a black man? is this a fetish of your H? that really stood out to me). 

Anyway, the question becomes ... will you need to do this frequently in order to keep the sex between you and H alive? or can the two of you also stand on your own two feet. Swinging or threesomes are great and dandy IF the primary relationship is solid, sexually and otherwise ... yours didn't sound so solid.


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

So, are you going to have another evening with this man.
also if you do not mind me asking. Why, did hubby want it to be a black man?


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## studlyc (Jun 10, 2009)

Wow that is nuts. Now its his turn to have sex with a black woman. Haha.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

1nurse said:


> I feel that you just started with the nails in the coffin that will be your former marriage. It's all wonderful and exciting now....then comes the accusations, jealousy and fights. I don't get why people do this to themselves and their marriage. Did you and your husband take vows "forsaking all others?" Perhaps you two should have gone to a sex therapist and explored WHY your sex life went down the tubes to begin with. Adding someone else to the mix will only complicate things further. Enjoy the ride now cause it's going to get real bumpy soon!!!


:iagree:

I feel badly for your kids. This whole disturbing episode will get out. You did tell one person already. And what about the guy?

Any moral training you have attempted to give to your children is now out the window.

And for what?

This is the escalation of the end of your marriage. It's coming.


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