# Troublesome marriage



## Henna (Jan 3, 2021)

Hi! It’s been 6 months that I’ve been married to the person who was “the love of my life”. I went against all the odds, took a stand to marry him as all my family and friends were against him. I’m carrying his child so basically i have no way out. He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t have any ambitions or goals. He is still living with his family as he is the only son and from where i come it’s a norm here. He always prefers his parents over me. Whatever i do i’ll have to tell his mother first or she might be offended. He believes in male dominancy and i was so naive and stupid to notice that. I loathe him sometimes. He doesn’t want me to have a career. Just sitting at home and serving his family is what he wants from me. I tried talking and i so wanted things to get better between us but that is almost impossible. Divorce is not an option for me I really want him to change what do i do? We have decided to settle in a different city before wedding and now he refuses to do so. We’re so broken.I need some advice. Am i asking to much?


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Henna said:


> Hi! It’s been 6 months that I’ve been married to the person who was “the love of my life”. I went against all the odds, took a stand to marry him as all my family and friends were against him. I’m carrying his child so basically i have no way out. He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t have any ambitions or goals. He is still living with his family as he is the only son and from where i come it’s a norm here. He always prefers his parents over me. Whatever i do i’ll have to tell his mother first or she might be offended. He believes in male dominancy and i was so naive and stupid to notice that. I loathe him sometimes. He doesn’t want me to have a career. Just sitting at home and serving his family is what he wants from me. I tried talking and i so wanted things to get better between us but that is almost impossible. Divorce is not an option for me I really want him to change what do i do? We have decided to settle in a different city before wedding and now he refuses to do so. We’re so broken.I need some advice. Am i asking to much?


Why was your family against him? How long did you date before you married? Did he have no ambitions or goals while you were dating, or do you think he has changed since being married? Also, just because you are pregnant with his child, doesn't mean there is no way out. If it's that bad you'd be doing both you and your child a favor.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Henna said:


> Hi! It’s been 6 months that I’ve been married to the person who was “the love of my life”. I went against all the odds, took a stand to marry him as all my family and friends were against him. I’m carrying his child so basically i have no way out. He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t have any ambitions or goals. He is still living with his family as he is the only son and from where i come it’s a norm here. He always prefers his parents over me. Whatever i do i’ll have to tell his mother first or she might be offended. He believes in male dominancy and i was so naive and stupid to notice that. I loathe him sometimes. He doesn’t want me to have a career. Just sitting at home and serving his family is what he wants from me. I tried talking and i so wanted things to get better between us but that is almost impossible. Divorce is not an option for me I really want him to change what do i do? We have decided to settle in a different city before wedding and now he refuses to do so. We’re so broken.I need some advice. Am i asking to much?


He believes in male dominance but he has to tell his mother everything first? That's pretty weak male dominance. 

Look it doesn't sound like a good marriage. I certainly wouldn't be able to live like that but then that's not my culture. And what he wants should be for you to be happy not to just put you to work doing what his family wants. You're not going to get any physical help getting away from him so you just need to make up your mind if you want to stay in the marriage or not and if you don't you need to leave and call a lawyer. It's not going to get any better unless you just take action.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

what country?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> what country?


Country flag may be Pakistan.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

You really want him to change, so what do you do? Accept and understand that he is never going to change and adjust accordingly.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Henna said:


> I really want him to change what do i do?



Bottom line - you cannot make him change. Only person you can change is you. This guy is NEVER going to change. He has his entire family to support "his side"....


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Henna said:


> I really want him to change what do i do?



Bottom line - you cannot make him change. Only person you can change is you. This guy is NEVER going to change. He has his entire family to support "his side"



Trident said:


> Accept and understand that he is never going to change and adjust accordingly.


Without a divorce - this is your only option.


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