# Well here is where I find myself



## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Well its a bitter sweet end to a messed up ordeal. After hearing those words I love you but not in love with you back in May it went down hill pretty quick, Never thought this is the turn my life would take but I guess it is a hump that has been tossed in front of me and others. I must say the betrayl of a spouse that you loved unconditionaly is the worst feeling ever and I do not see how we get past it. The anger and emotions just a big roller coaster that I hope I never have to ride again. Someone I thought would be there a lifetime vanished before my eyes.

So I find myself here in the life after divorce and I dont know what to think or how to proceed.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Lostouthere,

I guess let me be the first to say Hi. You will meet some great people here that are full of good advice. You will find many people have experienced what you are and what you will go through and are not shy to talk about it. They have helped me through some tough times. I'm not done going through it by a long shot but feel better every day. Maybe if you share your messed up ordeal you will find others that have experienced the same situation.

I'm a firm beleiver that venting, even if it is to a computer screen, is helpful. Please feel free to type away.

Shoeguy


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

Lost,

Sorry you are here brother....However now you can put it behind you and start fresh...Keep your head up...
I have 21 1/2 days until mine becomes official...


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Thanks FL I appreciate that. And likewise keep you head up man we will make it. I take it you will be joining me here in 3 weeks I hate that for you bro it sucks.


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## bowhunter (Sep 5, 2011)

Lost, You and I are on the same timeline. May wife asked for space, last friday divorce was final. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this. Just the unanswered question of why, stills drives me nuts. I know the reasons she gives, but they are not the reality that I see. Hopefully the hurt will ease in the coming days and weeks, but right now I don't see it. Good luck to you and I'll be praying.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

bowhunter said:


> Lost, You and I are on the same timeline. May wife asked for space, last friday divorce was final. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this. Just the unanswered question of why, stills drives me nuts. I know the reasons she gives, but they are not the reality that I see. Hopefully the hurt will ease in the coming days and weeks, but right now I don't see it. Good luck to you and I'll be praying.




Hey there BH sorry to hear were in the same boat. Man your like me she gives reasons but they are BS and not reality. I tell you it dont magically end when the divorce is final that is for sure but I can say without a doubt we will never be together again. Yeah I dont see it getting much better in the near future either to much pain and too much hurt.


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## Darrenlau (Sep 30, 2011)

We should throw a party.. I believe it's time to celebrate. A year ago, my life changed as well. Then on July 14, 2011, it became official. Do I wish I could change it all? Of course. But, we don't own a Delorean and can't go back into time. Instead, we have to live in the present and move on to the future. I say, F*#K! our significant other, because they ain't so significant. Who's with me?


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Aug.30, 2011.
As of today, still living in the house with ex.
Hope to close on my new house next week. Gritting teeth, shaking fist.
Good to still spend 24/7 with my kid though. That makes all the rest of the b.s. unimportant.
btw, I celebrate every night, big glass of wine, or four, and watching Breaking Bad on netflix.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

Well, I talked to 3 different ladies last night at my new stomping grounds. I need a good wing man. I can't handle them all by myself. lol Two of them are mothers where the father is not in the picture. Both were quite impressed that I get my kids so often and am so involved in their lives. I had thought that would be a negative in the eyes of a woman, like competition for your time or something. Man, after last night, I think just being a good dad (like everyone here seems to be) is extremely attractive to the ladies.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

There are people everywhere looking for love. Give it a whirl.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Hurt I will definately have to give it a try. Maybe we do need to throw a big party lol. Yeah man I will have to get down there before long. If being a good dad is a attractive quality then alot of us here have something going for us.


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## Zzyzx (Aug 24, 2011)

Being a good dad is attractive to some ladies, but warning, not to all ladies. A good friend of mine dated several women between divorce with his first wife and marriage to his second wife. At least one of these women was jealous of the time he spent with his kids from his first marriage. I was amazed at this: she loved how he set a great male example to her early teenager son, but when it was time for him to visit with his own young adult kids, she went into jealous mode and would not go with him. Not sure why some women will be like that, perhaps it's about the lack of exclusive access to his resources? Anyway, that was one of the reasons he kicked her to the curb. After that, he made it clear up front to any new girl that he would not tolerate jealousy on her part around his kids or the grandkids he knew he was going to have. Second wife has been good around this, she knew the deal going in and has not gone back on her word and he has gotten to enjoy his grandkids, he has a few now.

So the fatherhood thing may be attractive up front, but that might change so don't commit without her total buyin as to the kids' presence in your life.


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