# If you were in a sexless marriage would you leave?



## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

*How would you deal with a co worker wanting to discuss their sexless marriage?*

I have a co worker who is constantly complaining about the situation of his marriage. Is it rude to tell him to stop being a crybaby and work on his issues. I feel this problem should not be part of workplace discussion.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Is the person opposite sex from you?

I assume coworker is a guy and you a woman, right?

If so, yes very inappropriate and yes he has interest in you.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Some people are just big complainers. His unhappiness probably spills out everywhere, to everyone.

Tell him he has earned the marriage he has. That might get him to stop complaining to *you*, at least.


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

jld said:


> Some people are just big complainers. His unhappiness probably spills out everywhere, to everyone.
> 
> Tell him he has earned the marriage he has. That might get him to stop complaining to *you*, at least.


Good idea. Thanks. I would be embarrassed discussing my personal life like that.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

If my wife could not have sex, or was unable to for physical medical reasons, no.

If it was because she either won't put forth the effort or because she does not think there is anything wrong with being sexless, she would find herself single in short order.

The more important question is this:

Is it a question of "can't", or "won't"?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

jld said:


> Some people are just big complainers. His unhappiness probably spills out everywhere, to everyone.
> 
> Tell him he has earned the marriage he has. That might get him to stop complaining to *you*, at least.


No empathy?

No active listening?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> No empathy?
> 
> No active listening?
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


She does not want to discuss personal things with him, far. She just wants him to stop talking about those things with her. 

My advice is geared toward shutting him down. Telling a weak man that he has earned the marriage he has is likely to do that. 

Expect some defensive comments from him after you tell him that, OP. Ignore them.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

jld said:


> My advice is geared toward shutting him down. Telling a weak man that he has earned the marriage he has is likely to do that.


What makes you think the man is at fault? It is possible he does everything right by TAM standards, even meets her needs and she does not want sex. His weakness by simply be that he does not leave. 

The proper thing for OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever. If he asks why she can just say that she maintains boundaries between work talk and personal talk. If he then does not get the message, walk away when he starts.

No need to do any more than that. No need to tell him he is weak.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> What makes you think the man is at fault? It is possible he does everything right by TAM standards, even meets her needs and she does not want sex. His weakness by simply be that he does not leave.
> 
> The proper thing for OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever. If he asks why she can just say that she maintains boundaries between work talk and personal talk. If he then does not get the message, walk away when he starts.
> 
> No need to do any more than that. No need to tell him he is weak.


Not only is there no need to be critical, you are now creating more tension...

Offer him a path to your company EAP or simply let him know that there is counseling out there that can help him and you choose to not be in that role over a professional that is trained and you shouldn't give untrained advice so it would be wasted energy and emotion to spend such time doing so.

Pick and pan anything from above to suite your communication style.

As FSJ said, empathy and active listening, then quickly show active guidance toward those who can help.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> What makes you think the man is at fault? It is possible he does everything right by TAM standards, even meets her needs and she does not want sex. His weakness by simply be that he does not leave.
> 
> The proper thing for OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever. If he asks why she can just say that she maintains boundaries between work talk and personal talk. If he then does not get the message, walk away when he starts.
> 
> No need to do any more than that. No need to tell him he is weak.


Who said to tell him he is weak? She asked for advice on how to shut him down, and I gave it.

But I think it could help him, if he can hear it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> What makes you think the man is at fault? It is possible he does everything right by TAM standards, even meets her needs and she does not want sex. His weakness by simply be that he does not leave.
> 
> The proper thing for OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever. If he asks why she can just say that she maintains boundaries between work talk and personal talk. If he then does not get the message, walk away when he starts.
> 
> No need to do any more than that. No need to tell him he is weak.




If the man in question is dumb enough to complain to a co-worker he is probably doing something equally self sabotaging at home. And if he is complaining about not getting laid as a means to possibly get laid by generating sympathy, he is even dumber.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> Not only is there no need to be critical, you are now creating more tension...
> 
> Offer him a path to your company EAP or simply let him know that there is counseling out there that can help him and you choose to not be in that role over a professional that is trained and you shouldn't give untrained advice so it would be wasted energy and emotion to spend such time doing so.
> 
> ...


Agree. Offer the man some paths to resolution - EAP, IC, TAM even, but I do suggest that he be requested not to discuss personal matters with you - that is a little stronger than just saying you are not trained person to give advice. 

I know I am projecting but my advice is offered to prevent the man from developing any emotional attachment to OP. Otherwise, even if the man goes through EAP, IC or TAM he might still approach OP on the subject.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> If the man in question is dumb enough to complain to a co-worker his is probably doing something equally self sabotaging at home. And if he is complaint about not getting laid as a means to possible get laid bye berating sympathy, he is even dumber.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> If the man in question is dumb enough to complain to a co-worker his is probably doing something equally self sabotaging at home. And if he is complaint about not getting laid as a means to possible get laid bye berating sympathy, he is even dumber.


True, unless the recipient of his words reach some OS coworker with similar problem, and then......

If a woman complained to a man about not getting any sex at home, I bet your response would be different. It would be the man's fault. (No wait, that is the same response to either case.)


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> Agree. Offer the man some paths to resolution - EAP, IC, TAM even, but I do suggest that he be requested not to discuss personal matters with you - that is a little stronger than just saying you are not trained person to give advice.
> 
> I know I am projecting but *my advice is offered to prevent the man from developing any emotional attachment to OP. * Otherwise, even if the man goes through EAP, IC or TAM he might still approach OP on the subject.


Not her problem.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

jld said:


> Not her problem.


To quote FSJ "No empathy?"


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

jld said:


> She does not want to discuss personal things with him, far. She just wants him to stop talking about those things with her.
> 
> My advice is geared toward shutting him down. Telling a weak man that he has earned the marriage he has is likely to do that.
> 
> Expect some defensive comments from him after you tell him that, OP. Ignore them.


Yeah, slippery slope and all.

Shutting that down is probably best.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> Yeah, slippery slope and all.
> 
> Shutting that down is probably best.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


Glad you see that, far.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> To quote FSJ "No empathy?"


Nope.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

People use the term sexless marriage differently. People complain when they only have sex a couple times a month and then they exaggerate and say their marriage is sexless. How many times a year do you have to do it to not be considered sexless?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I suggest you change the title of the post OP.

It doesn't describe the topic and can lead to drive by posters responding to the title and not the content of the original post. A more appropriate title would be "Dealing with a coworker complaining about a sexless marriage."

You can edit by clicking edit on the first post.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Pinksapphire said:


> I have a co worker who is constantly complaining about the situation of his marriage. Is it rude to tell him to stop being a crybaby and work on his issues. I feel this problem should not be part of workplace discussion.


This is guy is completely out of line. He's a married man with marital problems. He's wrong for him to be talking about his personal marital problems with any woman, especially a female co-worker.

Many times, this is how EA's start. On this guys part, it sounds like he is actually hitting on you Pink. That's usually what it means when this sort of thing goes on.

For that reason I have no empathy for him. He's cross the line. If he has martial problems, he needs to go to counseling, read some books that might help him, etc. And he needs to leave you alone.

Unfortunately you are left with the very uncomfortable task of having to tell him that you are not interested in discussing the details of his marriage. 

Could you possibly just change the subject or walk away with he starts talking like this with you?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Tell him he needs more help than you can offer and suggest he and his wife consider marriage counseling. Walk away. Don't allow him to broach the subject with you, again. In the future, clip this nonsense in the bud the very first time it starts.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Could you possibly just change the subject or walk away with he starts talking like this with you?


Or you could just be up front and tell him he needs counseling to best sort out his problems and you will not be comfortable discussing them any further.

If it happens again, let him know your boundaries and any continuation will become a supervisor/HR problem so please don't go there. Everything here can be done non-threatening and with a smile.

You don't need a firetruck to extinguish a candle...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Could you possibly just change the subject or walk away with he starts talking like this with you?


^^^This^^^

Walk away and don't turn back. He will get it. Empathy?...what the heck for? You don't discuss sexual matters of any type at the workplace with members of the opposite sex. For most of us women that is code for...he is hitting on me; I'm married and he is crossing my personal boundaries. Screw this moron!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> You don't need a firetruck to extinguish a candle...


Speaking from experience of being hit on more than once with talk along these lines...crossing my personal boundary is not a extinguishing a candle kind of issue. It's about respect! It's letting men know that if they cross that line...beware as I am like a dog marking my territory? You stay the f0ck away from me you creep!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> This is guy is completely out of line. He's a married man with marital problems. He's wrong for him to be talking about his personal marital problems with any woman, especially a female co-worker.


I can understand how this starts. Most guys are not supposed to have opposite sex friends, at least ones that are not already friends with both H and W. 

A guy might be having trouble and seek counsel from a woman he knows at work. 

Not saying I agree, just saying that I understand how the conversation can start without it always being a male player at work hitting on women coworkers.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I would start with a simple "This makes me uncomfortable and I think it is innapropriate for work."

Either that shuts it down or you report him to HR.

Keeping it simple keeps drama in check. Other approaches drag you in. Keep it clear and simple.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> Speaking from experience of being hit on more than once with talk along these lines...crossing my personal boundary is not a extinguishing a candle kind of issue. It's about respect! It's letting men know that if they cross that line...beware as I am like a dog marking my territory? You stay the f0ck away from me you creep!




And I respect that, but with as little as the original poster shared it seems to me that too many are projecting this as a personal attack on them without truly knowing the situation and heart of the offending workmate. 

We seem so sure of his intent, and while it may be based on our own experiences, it would be presumptuous to know if this workmate is a predator or simply clueless and lost in his behavior. 

While at times I may be more judgmental than I should be or is fair, today I am going to choose a less judgmental path and allow due process suggesting to set a boundary with kindness, and then enforce with repercussion.

As always, I appreciate you all. 




Sent from an attempt at mobile mindfulness...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

I see why we have gender misunderstandings in a thread like this. Our experiences and perceptions differ in real big ways. 

As women, we see this as men not respecting us...which feels very true to us and we react in what men perceive as over dramatic. It really isn't. We are being disrespected and our boundaries are being pushed. We have a right to our anger and our emotions. It is part of our makeup and sadly what a woman has to deal with because she indeed is a woman. How else can we stop this? We really can't slap (well, we can, but that would be overstepping another boundary for both genders and two wrongs don't make a right) a man or beat the crap out of him. So we do what we do best to earn back our respect. We speak up in no uncertain terms!:smile2:

Would slapping the man be an over dramatic reaction?:wink2:


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Pinksapphire said:


> I feel this problem should not be part of workplace discussion.


Um you think? I think this is a different question then your title. Just tell him this is an inappropriate discussion for work, and to stop. If he doesn't go to your boss or HR. End of story. 

To answer your title question. 

Probably, unless there were grave circumstances, such as rape, sexual trauma (though I would hope that she was willing to work on that) or physical impossibility such as chronic illness. All this would be assuming the marriage was good and I still loved her, if this was not the case I would think long and hard about leaving.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

larry.gray said:


> I would start with a simple "This makes me uncomfortable and I think it is innapropriate for work."
> 
> Either that shuts it down or you report him to HR.
> 
> Keeping it simple keeps drama in check. Other approaches drag you in. Keep it clear and simple.


I like your thinking, ^^^ see above ^^^, I wrote that before I read this, I should have just quoted you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

blueinbr said:


> I can understand how this starts. Most guys are not supposed to have opposite sex friends, at least ones that are not already friends with both H and W.
> 
> A guy might be having trouble and seek counsel from a woman he knows at work.
> 
> Not saying I agree, just saying that I understand how the conversation can start without it always being a male player at work hitting on women coworkers.


I don't have a problem with married people having OSFs. That's as long as certain boundaries are maintained. Once it crosses to taking about intimate details of your marital sex life and/or martial problems the boundaries are broken. 

It's very easy for empathy to build and this empathy often leads to feels for the person and then an affair. It's how many affair start... just letting someone of the OS cry on your shoulder.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> I see why we have gender misunderstandings in a thread like this. Our experiences and perceptions differ in real big ways.
> 
> As women, we see this as men not respecting us...which feels very true to us and we react in what men perceive as over dramatic. It really isn't. We are being disrespected and our boundaries are being pushed. We have a right to our anger and our emotions. It is part of our makeup and sadly what a woman has to deal with because she indeed is a woman. How else can we stop this? We really can't slap (well, we can, but that would be overstepping another boundary for both genders and two wrongs don't make a right) a man or beat the crap out of him. So we do what we do best to earn back our respect. We speak up in no uncertain terms!:smile2:
> 
> Would slapping the man be an over dramatic reaction?:wink2:




Sadly, I see women crossing the same boundaries for the exact same reasons, with mutual respect we also have mutual disrespect, it is so disheartening to witness from either gender.

I truly don't think I misunderstand the seriousness of this you feel, I have your back more than you will know... please also know I have spent a great part of my life passing judgment in the worst way, I just can't condemn without due process or an outright act. 

You will find me incredibly loyal as my daughters will attest to... not as a protector but as an ally. 


Sent from an attempt at mobile mindfulness...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> it seems to me that too many are projecting this as a personal attack on them without truly knowing the situation and heart of the offending workmate.
> 
> As always, I appreciate you all.


Well, this may be true, but OP agreed with the "over dramatic" way to end this incident, so our projecting hit home for her. In other words, she didn't see it as over reacting at all, but quite a good way to make her boundaries respected. As women, we learn to pick our battles. Being very vocal as to earning our respect is far better than throwing out the "I will report you to HR if you don't stop" thingie.

*As always, I appreciate you all. *

I know this is true in your case as probably the other males that posted as well. We all deal with this as we all communicate with members of the opposite sex all the time. It's useful to see why men minimize the situation and women don't. Our experiences differ due to our gender. Also, the way we are created differs in the way we approach resolution to these type of issues. 

I think this discussion has merit because we see how our approaches differ and how most of us resolve them. It also shows how we perceive those reactions too. If you notice, most of the women that posted dealt with it by letting the male know in no uncertain terms that he is out of line.

The males, on the other hand use a very different approach.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> And I respect that, but with as little as the original poster shared it seems to me that too many are projecting this as a personal attack on them without truly knowing the situation and heart of the offending workmate.
> 
> We seem so sure of his intent, and while it may be based on our own experiences, it would be presumptuous to know if this workmate is a predator or simply clueless and lost in his behavior.
> 
> ...


It does not matter if the guy is a player and using this as a way to hit on the OP. Why? Because we know human behavior. The simple act of sharing intimate details of his marriage builds an emotional bond between him and the op. That's just how OS humans work. That's how affairs start.

If this is guy sharing that kind of detail with some woman at work, he's being grossly disrespectful to his wife and his marriage. If he has problems, he needs to do what it takes to fix the. Maybe he needs counseling. Maybe it means a divorce. But he needs to seek out help from the right people. What he should not do it to burden a woman he works with like this and disrespect his wife/marriage this way.

He wrong.. whether he's a player or not.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> Sadly, I see women crossing the same boundaries for the exact same reasons, with mutual respect we also have mutual disrespect, it is so disheartening to witness from either gender.
> 
> I truly don't think I misunderstand the seriousness of this you feel, I have your back more than you will know... please also know I have spent a great part of my life passing judgment in the worst way, I just can't condemn without due process or an outright act.
> 
> ...


I know. I didn't mean it as an argument, but more as a discussion. I understand men are trying to help with their advise too. It may not be wrong, just different. Our advise may not be wrong either, just different. 

Which works best...I dunno, but I will probably go with the one that hits closer to home for me and one that makes the most sense for me as well.:smile2:


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> He wrong.. whether he's a player or not.


QFT

I wish I could like this post more than just once.:smile2:


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Bibi1031 said:


> The males, on the other hand use a very different approach.


I don't think my approach was different. I said OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever. Of course, I have no natural empathy so that did not factor into my advice. 

I think the advice here applies to both sexes. Don't share personal intimate details with OS coworkers. And, don't allow OS coworkers to share personal intimate details with you. 

I wish I would have learned that two years ago.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You lot are more charitable than I am today. I'd simply tell Co-worker something along the lines of "Either leave her or stop complaining. No one wants to hear you whine about something you could change, but don't. Sorry, man, but that's how it is." and then I'd walk away.

And to answer the thread title question, yes, I would leave a sexless marriage unless either A) We were sexless due to some medical condition or B) Neither of us want sex anymore, probably due to age, and have agreed to be sexless.

We usually have sex 3-6 times a week. It's something I have become accustomed to, lol. Great sex more or less on demand. My DH is kicking a smoking habit. He's going on his 4th day. He is grumpy as hell, having a hard time keeping it together mentally, feels like utter crud, and sex isn't on the radar right now. It's been a whole 4 days and I'm antsy and edgy because I really, really, want sex with the man I am deeply in love with and find to be extremely attractive. I'm pretty sure I'd be completely disconnected and/or loony if sexlessness was the norm.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> It does not matter if the guy is a player and using this as a way to hit on the OP. Why? Because we know human behavior. The simple act of sharing intimate details of his marriage builds an emotional bond between him and the op. That's just how OS humans work. That's how affairs start.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I'm not arguing that he's wrong... of course he is wrong, with that I totally agree with you. My disagreement with this is that not everything needs to be "Nuked from orbit, just to be sure". 

So much anger... sometimes scorched earth is required, it's simply my opinion it is not required here.

I'll stay my path... it may not be popular, but it is an option based on guiding, not hammering.



Sent from an attempt at mobile mindfulness...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> I don't think my approach was different. *I said OP to do is just to tell the person that she does not discuss personal matters with coworkers, ever.* Of course, I have no natural empathy so that did not factor into my advice.
> 
> I see this as minimizing by being tactful, putting emotions aside, and just being logical. A male approach to business as usual so to speak. But, this interaction is happening between opposite sexes; it will be perceived very differently and approached very differently as well. @Elegirl explained it very eloquently. It's wrong because it is disrespectful for the married man's wife. To me, it's wrong because of course, it's all about me and my boundary was crossed. No one messes with MY boundaries!:grin2:
> 
> ...


*I wish I would have learned that two years ago.*

Hindsight is 20/20 Blue. And in all fairness to you...Your OW has very loose to non-existent boundaries in the workplace IMVHO. 

Of course, her boundaries may be different is she was single and actively seeking male attention (I vaguely remember she was living with someone, but my memory is not too clear there so I may be wrong). She wouldn't see this as disrespectful because she doesn't have empathy for the wife. After all, she isn't the one showing the married man's wife disrespect, he is!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Shouldn't the title be "What advice should you give someone who is complaining of a sexless marriage?"?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> I'm not arguing that he's wrong... of course he is wrong, with that I totally agree with you. My disagreement with this is that not everything needs to be "Nuked from orbit, just to be sure".
> 
> So much anger... sometimes scorched earth is required, it's simply my opinion it is not required here.
> 
> ...


I agree that there is no reason for the OP to go nuclear about this. That's why I suggested the least confrontational way possible to stop what's going on. There are probably others ways to do so that are not harsh/confrontational.. some have been suggested.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> It does not matter if the guy is a player and using this as a way to hit on the OP. Why? Because we know human behavior. The simple act of sharing intimate details of his marriage builds an emotional bond between him and the op. That's just how OS humans work. That's how affairs start.
> 
> If this is guy sharing that kind of detail with some woman at work, he's being grossly disrespectful to his wife and his marriage. If he has problems, he needs to do what it takes to fix the. Maybe he needs counseling. Maybe it means a divorce. But he needs to seek out help from the right people. What he should not do it to burden a woman he works with like this and disrespect his wife/marriage this way.
> 
> *He wrong..* whether he's a player or not.


I agree he is wrong, but the OP still probably needs additional ways to confront him in a way that will help steer him in the right direction. There is a possibility this husband could be a highly functional autistic individual, and does not have any understanding of the social implications of what he is doing. If this coworker is advanced analytically/mathematically, but is rather socially awkward, I think she should:

• encourage him to say positive things about his wife to others.

• inform him that complaining to others about her could actually be the source of his problems and that he needs to only discuss these matters with his wife. 

• inform him that discussing matters of personal sexuality in the workplace is problematic and could easily be construed as a form of sexual harassment if anyone were to overhear these conversations out of context. Therefore the topic should be avoided completely. 

• suggest he read a book about improving his marriage.

Badsanta


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

tech-novelist said:


> Shouldn't the title be "What advice should you give someone who is complaining of a sexless marriage?"?


No. The OP is female, the coworker is male and hetero.

It is a line that shouldn't be crossed at work. It should be a firm boundary. Therefore the OP shouldn't be seeking or offering advice.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> People use the term sexless marriage differently. People complain when they only have sex a couple times a month and then they exaggerate and say their marriage is sexless. How many times a year do you have to do it to not be considered sexless?


Not sure if you got answered. I think it is 10x or less in a year (someone pls correct me if wrong).


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> No. The OP is female, the coworker is male and hetero.
> 
> It is a line that shouldn't be crossed at work. It should be a firm boundary. Therefore the OP shouldn't be seeking or offering advice.


I'm not saying she should give him advice. I'm just saying that the original question was incorrectly stated, because she wasn't asking the question for herself but for what advice she should give her co-worker.


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

larry.gray said:


> I suggest you change the title of the post OP.
> 
> It doesn't describe the topic and can lead to drive by posters responding to the title and not the content of the original post. A more appropriate title would be "Dealing with a coworker complaining about a sexless marriage."
> 
> You can edit by clicking edit on the first post.


I tried but the title can't be changed only the description.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Pinksapphire said:


> I tried but the title can't be changed only the description.


did you change the title on the first post? Doing that is supposed to change the thread title.


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

larry.gray said:


> did you change the title on the first post? Doing that is supposed to change the thread title.


I hit the edit button but you need to go to advanced too if you want to change the title. Just worked it out:smile2:

It doesn't change it through the whole thread just the initial post.


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