# what should I do?



## what_should_i_do (Jul 25, 2014)

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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You aren't willing to take full responsibility for your actions. I read a lot if "me" in your post. If you want to stay together then you are going to have to work harder,be transparent. Sounds like the lie detector might provide more info for your poor wife.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Unfortunately, once trust is broken, it is difficult to impossible to regain. 

"Everything is awesome. Except I feel like I live in a cage". This statement is contradictory. You say she is unreasonably jealous. But obviously she had cause to be. Women aren't stupid. She goes away for business, and then first chance you have you solicit prostitutes. Clearly she had a sense that you were capable of this behavior.

She no longer trusts you. Once trust has been broken, it is not unreasonable for her to think (1) there is more that I do not know; and (2) he can easily do this again. 

In her mind part of what she needs to rebuild trust is for you to take a polygraph test. Are they 100% reliable? No. Does she need this to help her recover and rebuild trust in you? Yes. You are the one who messed up, so she is the one who gets to make the rules. 

I commend you for seeking help with your alcohol problem. Hopefully you've been tested for STDs as well. I don't think this relationship will survive your indiscretions but keep seeking to improve yourself and you will be able to have a loving long lasting relationship with the next woman.

Good luck!!


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## what_should_i_do (Jul 25, 2014)

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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The part of your post that bothers me is that you claim not to know WHY you did these things. How is she supposed to believe you won't do these things in the future if you don't know why you did them in the last?

Plus, IMHO... You need to keep doing what she needs you to do to rebuild her trust. A lie detector test is not unreasonable, and your refusal to take one would be a HUGE red flag to many spouses. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

what_should_i_do said:


> A few months later I searched online about 4 or 5 times for local prostitutes. Actually I still dont really know why I did this. I was actually only curious about them. I was only interested in reading their profiles and I wasnt turned on or anything.


I know what you mean; I like to read Playboy, _but "just for the articles"_.

:lol:


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## what_should_i_do (Jul 25, 2014)

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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

what_should_i_do said:


> How can I work harder without losing myself? Without being her puppet? This is the reason why I dont want to take the test. Not bc there is more I am hiding.... : (


This will be the last time I post, I've said all I need to say.

But you take the test because she is your WIFE and she has asked you to. She NEEDS this test to try to regain trust in you. And the request is not unreasonable. And as was just said, your refusal to take the test tells her --- and frankly the rest of us too --- that there is more that you haven't told her.

Again, she is playing the game by the rules that YOU created. If she wants you to take the test, you take the test. Anything she wants short of castration you happily comply. 

She asks you to jump? You ask how high.

She asks you to sh-t? You squat and ask what color.

Don't like it? Then divorce and move on.

Good luck to you.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

What_Should_I_Do.....

In spite of what others say, I'm totally with you on teh Poly! The only way I would ever take one is to be required to by law.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

what_should_i_do said:


> s




How exactly do I response to this :scratchhead: :scratchhead: did the op bail or is he speaking in Sumerian code?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

s. Definitely s.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Apparently he didn't like the responses he got. He wanted people to coddle him and agree that despite his hooker BJ, his wife should "suck it up". Pun intended.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> Apparently he didn't like the responses he got. He wanted people to coddle him and agree that despite his hooker BJ, his wife should "suck it up". Pun intended.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Typical wayward come seeking validation gets harsh reality then rather than face facts kicks it in to afterburner and run away


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

dormant said:


> What_Should_I_Do.....
> 
> In spite of what others say, I'm totally with you on teh Poly! The only way I would ever take one is to be required to by law.


Moot point now, but if his wife requires it, and he doesn't want to take one, what then?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

He will never take a poly test. He has lots of things that he hasn't told his BW about and I doubt that he ever will.

Just the fact that he "s"-deleted all his post shows us that he was not looking an honorable way to try to save his marriage.

He just wanted to learn ways that he could manipulate her in to not D'ing his sorry a$$.

She's obviously doing the right thing, because she knows that he's done (way)more than what he's told her so far. She's also smart enough to realize that he's always going to be prone to cheating again.

I mean come on, anyone who's married and then pays a prostitute for sex has a moral compass that's so far out of whack that even Captain Wrongway Peachfuzz(for you youngsters, Google it ) would envy at how lost they are.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Looks like OP has functionally deleted his posts. Too bad no one quoted the entire initial post...


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Looks like OP has functionally deleted his posts. Too bad no one quoted the entire initial post...



No need I can guesstimated it probably went something like this

I know it's my fault but I think the real reason why I cheated was because of insert fictitious reason here but I don't see how a lie detector test will help me avoid responsibility in anyway why cant my wife understand..


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## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

I think it was "Yes, I cheated on my wife, but it was her fault."


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

They met online, he is European she is American. She moved out there they got married. Basically she was always controlling and untrusting. Then she went away for work. He gets a BJ from a hooker. Guilt makes him confess. So then she finds unrelated internet searches on prostiute profiles, which had nothing to do with the first hooker. So now he was sorry and did everything she has asked of him but now she wants a lie detector test and enough is enough he needs to draw a line in the sand!! 

I was disappointed he deleted the posts. I was looking forward to a nice Friday sh!tstorm 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

"How can I get her to just move past this?"


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

that's easy take the lie detector test or move out file for divorce and let her find someone who isn't a total ... 

never mind. 

s.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

we should make* s* tam code for something any ideas ???


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

He felt she was being just sooooo unreasonable!!! 

~sammy


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

Just my 2 cents here but I bet his wife found out we was posting. He needed wipe the evidence.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Max.HeadRoom said:


> Just my 2 cents here but I bet his wife found out we was posting. He needed wipe the evidence.


Well yeah...


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

I'm completely unsympathetic for waywards. 

Still, why would you search for escorts and *not* erase your web history?

This is the equivalent of a marital Darwin Award.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Ripper said:


> I'm completely unsympathetic for waywards.
> 
> Still, why would you search for escorts and *not* erase your web history?
> 
> This is the equivalent of a marital Darwin Award.


From reading his few posts before he "s"'d them, he wasn't exactly Mensa material.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Ripper said:


> I'm completely unsympathetic for waywards.
> 
> Still, why would you search for escorts and *not* erase your web history?
> 
> This is the equivalent of a marital Darwin Award.


My WW covered her tracks so well that I couldn't find a thing to prove she was cheating, nothing!!!! 

Nothing except a phone bill with over 2,500 texts a month to some asshat named "Robert". Listed in her contact list as "Robert". 

Plenty of Marital Darwin Awards to go around.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

What an s!


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