# Sleeping in seperate rooms while married?



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

So there's an article on Yahoo this week that says that about 1 in 4 married couples sleep in _seperate_ rooms for various reasons, and that it's becoming a popular trend and that by 2015 home builders are going to start to include homes with adjoining his/her bedrooms(like you'd see in a hotel suite). Is anyone doing this in their marriage or approve of it and if so - why??


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Quite a bit. She thrashes around in bed for hours.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

We more or less do. I snore and our daughter comes and gets my wife every night so she ends up sleeping in her room most of the night. I tried sleeping upstairs for a couple of months but the bed isn't as comfortable and I didn't like being up there when my kids were downstairs. We're on the verge of divorce though. And when we are in the same bed, it's a king size so you could park a truck between us.

My in-laws have slept separately for as long as I can remember.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

One other thought....I think the answers to this question will in large part depend on the length of the marriage. We were a couple of spoons in bed for the first 10 years.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This was discussed on the Today Show yesterday. I agree with Star Jones.....it's basically the first step toward the end. I know for us, if we slept in separate rooms we would NEVER EVER have sex. And I would be gone.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My parents did because my dad had horrible sleep apnea and it drove my light-sleeping mom CRAZY! She never slept! They did divorce, 9 years of marriage, and I'm sure intimacy was an issue.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

We are still relative newlyweds but I can't picture either me or my husband being happy with a separate room arrangement. As it is now he sometimes has trouble breathing at night and will get up to sleep in the recliner (the semi upright position helps him breathe easier). As soon as he leaves the bed I am awake and find it very difficult to sleep without him next to me. Several times I have gone so far as to sleep on the couch next to the recliner so we could be "together". Maybe after we have been married a while this will change but for now sleeping separate isn't very appealing.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My grandparents had two beds in their room (two double beds) when they were older because my grandpa moved around a lot and stole the covers :rofl:


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I think it's far from a foregone conclusion that spouses sleeping in separate rooms automatically means the end of the marriage is coming. As others have pointed out, it could be a snoring spouse that causes the issue, sleep apnea or even a restless sleeper. I suppose if you are the type that can only have sex at night while in bed after the end of day of activities, then maybe this could be a problem. But if you can have sex anywhere at anytime, then I don't see this as a major issue.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Just rock it out in one of your bedrooms and then retreat to bed...I guess.

I love snuggling with H all night...he snores like a buzz saw, but i just elbow him in the stomach and he shuts up :rofl: NO! I don't know that, but I do ask him to turn over.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

A lot of people say this helps keep things fresh. It gives people their own space, and makes the times they sleep together more special. But if I had to guess I'd say the 1 in 4 statistic is bullsh*t and of the ones who do this, mostly it's due to snoring.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Well my wife and I basically sleep in separate , adjourning bedrooms. The doors are always open.
I sleep very lightly and she always turns in her sleep. Her hands / legs are always all over me and the bed,and no matter how much I try to fix it , its no use.
I don't know if that is a disorder. But what usually happens,is that we will both go to bed together in the same bed,and probably talk or look at a movie or whatever ,until sleep sets in.
She usually falls asleep with my arms around her ,and her head on my chest. [ A kind of " sleep ritual " with her.]
After a while I get up and go to my other bed, because she literally takes over the entire bed.
But its not a problem with either of us. Sometimes in the middle of the night I would feel her on my bed , you know for what , and vice versa.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

My folks sleep in separate rooms/beds. It wasn't always like this though. Both of them have medical issues. Dad snores, and has arthritis, it hurts and that bothers him. My mom has back issues and sleep issues that keep her tossing. Its just easier for them so they can try to get some sleep without waking the other. I remember asking my mom once, "so sex is gone?" She said "no, either I will go visit him in his room or he will come to mine sometimes." Then they go back to their rooms to try and get some rest. It seems to work for them I suppose.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I do know quite a few couples that do this.

We have done it occasionally - not as far as to assign a "his" and "hers" bedroom. Our situation is dictated by two young children who still sometimes get up in the middle of the night. We always start off in bed together at the beginning of the night but somehow in the course of the night, one or both of the kids comes in or needs something, and one of us ends up in their rooms. 

I really don't like it and look forward to a time when we can be together for the whole night again.

And, yea, he's annoying to sleep next to. He snores like a train and he has that restless leg syndrome so he's shaking his legs all [email protected] night. I definitely get better sleep when I share the bed with my three year old rather than my husband. Before we had kids I would say it took me a solid year to learn how to sleep next to him and ignore all of his annoying sleep habits. Now that we've spent so much time away from each other at night with the kids - I've lost the tolerance I built up for him. I even took OTC sleeping pills sometimes just so I could get through the night next to him. I understand why people want to get their own bed. But, for me, I don't feel like that's the right thing to do. We have a significant decrease in intimacy - not just sex, but feeling of closeness - when we do not sleep together in bed. Waking up next to each other is an instant mood lifter to start our day. 

I am of the mindset that we will do whatever possible to continue to share a bed together.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

This concept is weird to me. My parents will celebrate their 39th anniversary in a few months. The only time they ever slept apart was when dad was on the road (truck driver) or their schedules were opposite. Otherwise, same bed, every night. And they BOTH have sleep apnea, one has RLS, etc. It's a foreign concept to them that anyone would suggest that they sleep in separate beds, separate rooms. They are married. Of course they would share a bed. 

My husband and I, as well as my sister and her husband are of the same mind. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea 9 years ago. When I lost a lot of weight, it seemed to go away, and I stopped using the machine. My husband now has sleep apnea and uses a machine. I will again, as soon as I can get in and get the study done. But my place is in my bed WITH my husband at night. I guarantee if we ever had a house like that, the extra bedroom would be used as a study/den/craft room. Maybe this makes us odd... dunno...don't care. Separate bed is a foreign concept for me. =/


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

Sharing a bed is horrible. Even if we both went to bed at 6pm and woke up at 7am (13 hours), we would still be dead tired. People kick each other, steal blankets, snore, make the room too hot or too cold, take up the entire bed by laying at a weird angle, etc. There's no way I'm going back to living like a poor person. 

I don't even want to share the same room. The gf's room is cluttered and probably has racoons living in it. She has more clothes on her floor than I have in all of my drawers. As long as her crap stays in her zone, it doesn't bother me.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

ShawnD said:


> Sharing a bed is horrible. Even if we both went to bed at 6pm and woke up at 7am (13 hours), we would still be dead tired. People kick each other, steal blankets, snore, make the room too hot or too cold, take up the entire bed by laying at a weird angle, etc. There's no way I'm going back to living like a poor person.
> 
> I don't even want to share the same room. The gf's room is cluttered and *probably has racoons living in it.* She has more clothes on her floor than I have in all of my drawers. As long as her crap stays in her zone, it doesn't bother me.


 :rofl: I'm laughing because this is what I used to tell my youngest daughter when it was time to clean her room...Time to shoo the racoons from underneath her bed.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Well my wife and I basically sleep in separate , adjourning bedrooms. The doors are always open.
> I sleep very lightly and she always turns in her sleep. Her hands / legs are always all over me and the bed,and no matter how much I try to fix it , its no use.
> I don't know if that is a disorder. But what usually happens,is that we will both go to bed together in the same bed,and probably talk or look at a movie or whatever ,until sleep sets in.
> She usually falls asleep with my arms around her ,and her head on my chest. [ A kind of " sleep ritual " with her.]
> ...


This is us for about 18 years too. She claimed it was a problem when we were having issues, but now we both see this works for us as it did before. 

I just wish I could add the part about in the middle of the night feeling her in my bed for you know what. I need to hint about that some .....


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Well we didn't have another room for me to sleep in so I slept on the couch mostly. He snored terribly and the only way for me to get any sleep was to go to the couch. I wish that we could have afforded a place with another room. I think a regular bed would have been much better for my back.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If I ever get divorced and remarried, my house will have one bedroom, one bed. No couches, only chairs. I don't need any guests coming to visit overnight. She wants to sleep away from our marital bed, she can sleep on the floor.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I did forget to mention the heat thing. It's 80 in the house now and she's walking around in sweatpants and a hoodie. She sleeps like that under 2 or 3 quilts and goes ballistic if I turn the ceiling fan on.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

No seperate rooms/beds for us.

I need access to the goodies after hours! And I wouldn't want to have to get up and go get them, I want them within reach.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

no

i need her next to me


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

In case anyone wanted the article, it's an interesting read.

Can couples stay close in different bedrooms?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I started sleeping in another bedroom from my husband in 2005. I left in 2009. I tried to sleep with him several times during that period.

I cannot stand the smell of stale cigarettes, cheap booze, and the stench of the alcohol oozing from a person's pores.

'Nuff said.

I LOVE sleeping alone. And I think I have a [email protected] good reason for doing so.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> I cannot stand the smell of stale cigarettes


that hadn't occurred to me. My wife smokes but I no longer notice it on a conscious level.


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## mostlyhappy02 (Jan 27, 2012)

I'm a very restless sleeper but my H never really sleeps on the couch or in a separate bedroom. He feels like we should sleep in the same bed no matter what. This doesn't mean that I haven't tried to sleep alone when I was angry or whatever, he will just follow me. LOL. I think we've slept in separate beds maybe 5 x in the last 10 years. The last time we slept separate was a few months ago when I was really sick and pleaded with him to sleep in the spare bedroom because I worried I was contagious.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I read that statistically you have a better chance of your marriage surviving of you sleep in the same bed, it makes sense as its closer and more intimate. There's spontaneous midnight and morning sex and lots of hugging and intimate talking going on in our bedroom. I beleive separate bedrooms is a mistake and all other avenues with regards to snoring should be exhausted before separate rooms are embarked on. JMO.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

EAR PLUGS! thats what my boyfriends mom uses to sleep with her husband.

my bf snores so loud that i nudge him and he doesnt even budge sometimes. but if i touch his face or start rubbing on him he will stop! why is that? ohhhhhhh mercy. i jsut wish i knew what those lovely little sleep wrinkles looked like on my face from sleeping so good!

and sleeping apart is miserable. my bf and i have slept seperately a few times from arguements and i couldnt sleep at all. i couldnt help but think how selfish it is to take those intimate moments away from us both.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

My wife and I usually _end up _ taking turns sleeping seperately at least 18-20 nights a month because of the following reasons, but we haven't made an "official" room assignment or full switch...........yet.

- We both have horrible snoring issues.

- Our work schedules are totally different and she has to be up at 6:00am and me at 9:00am, so I go to bed two hours after her every night.

- I am a very rough sleeper and flop left and right all night, and at 6'3 and 240lbs this of course constantly wakes her up.

- She likes it semi-warm all year and I like it freezing cold or else I wake up in a pool of sweat.

- And lastly, she refuses to put the damn cats out and one of them constantly roams the room and wakes me up at least 2-3 times a night!


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

:rofl:

try out some ear plugs seriously. i havent only because we have our daughter in our room with us and i like to be able to hear her.

but yes, those are nagging qualities in the bedroom.

i just hate that you are going to sleep apart even though you both get interrupted contantly.
do you have a king size bed?


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I'm so the opposite. I wake up if my husband gets up for any reason. Sometimes his back is bothering him and he will go to the couch for fear of waking me. I was fine UNTIL he gets up to go to the couch. I don't sleep well alone. If I'm out of town without him, I don't sleep well.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> :rofl:
> 
> try out some ear plugs seriously. i havent only because we have our daughter in our room with us and i like to be able to hear her.
> 
> ...


Tried the earplugs thing and neither one of us liked it, and we have one of those big "California King" beds where you have enough room for two grown grizzly bears to spread out on it. And when we do sleep together one of us gets a good night's sleep while the other one doesn't, but never is it where _both_ of us get a good sleep undisturbed in the same bed.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Mrs. T said:


> We are still relative newlyweds but I can't picture either me or my husband being happy with a separate room arrangement. As it is now he sometimes has trouble breathing at night and will get up to sleep in the recliner (the semi upright position helps him breathe easier). As soon as he leaves the bed I am awake and find it very difficult to sleep without him next to me. Several times I have gone so far as to sleep on the couch next to the recliner so we could be "together". Maybe after we have been married a while this will change but for now sleeping separate isn't very appealing.


Buy a bed that shape changes to allow for a recliner option on either side. I understand that it could cost a great deal of money, however in this case I believe it would be money well spent.

It seems with all the variety of sleep options voiced here that an inventor or bed manufacturer should be working on duel air conditioned beds, wrap around noise cancelling pillows, a central bed seperation device, Velcro seperation blankets and an easy slide out underbed child facilitator!!!


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

To cope with my H;s snoring I flip around & sleep with my head at the end of the bed. As long as he is not snoring right in my face I am fine.
He goes to bed about 3 hours later than me, I get up 3 hours earlier than him, we have just learnt to adapt.
At the moment with my peri-menopause, I am thrashing about all night, throwing covers off, putting covers on, waking up at ridiculous times & being very restless, yet still we manage the same bed. And it is only a queen bed, not a king (that will be the next one I get)


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

lonesomegra said:


> It seems with all the variety of sleep options voiced here that an inventor or bed manufacturer should be working on duel air conditioned beds, wrap around noise cancelling pillows, a central bed seperation device, Velcro seperation blankets and an easy slide out underbed child facilitator!!!


and for those who are getting hot flushes all night long, inbuilt cooling fans!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> In case anyone wanted the article, it's an interesting read.
> 
> Can couples stay close in different bedrooms?




Thanks for the link.
Basically, that is what happens between my wife & I.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I like what someone said earlier in response to sleeping apart can ruin or mess up your sex life that, "so can two people being sleep deprived, tired, and irritated all the time too".


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

[Welcome CM]

If anyone read the article, it did have some valid points. A few months ago, I thought the idea was ridiculous. And I'm not a convert but it is intriguing.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Man, my H likes morning/afternoon sex, so he will come home for lunch, we will knock one out for both of us ( lol) and then I go to the gym around 3pm. After I get home from the gym, cooking dinner, laundry, homework, etc, etc I don't even notice his snoring. If I skip the gym I definitely notice it though! Still I would rather hug up on him and go to sleep together.


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

Separate for us always. He has always had trouble sleeping and does all sorts of weird sleeping walking things at night. I like to move around a lot. Being sleep deprived all the time, or waking up because my husband accidently punched me in the head would be a lot worse for our marriage than sleeping separately.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

3leafclover said:


> The adjoining rooms thing used to be quite the trend. I visited Biltmore House recently, and I remember the master bedroom had an adjoining sitting room in between it and the wife's bedroom. I thought it was nice...it still gives the couple a private area in between that's just theirs.
> 
> It's important to me to sleep in the same bed as my SO. There have been times when we haven't...usually when one of us is sick or having some insomnia. I didn't like it, though.
> 
> Unfortunately, it's getting more difficult to get a good night's sleep with her. In the last few months, she's started sleepwalking, which is both hilarious (waking up to her petting my head on the bed, thinking it's a cat, or searching under the bed for chicken wings) and frightening (she's had two pretty bad injuries in the last 3 weeks). This morning, she woke me up at 5:00am, standing on the bed, bent over and feeling my leg like she was trying to figure out what it was. I was so worried she'd get hurt that I ended up not being able to go back to sleep.


That would FREAK me the hell out and piss me off at the same time, and I would then definitely be sleeping in another room......with the door locked!!


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

3leafclover said:


> It freaks me out, but doesn't piss me off, although it does make me a little b****y the next day from sleep deprivation. She can't help it. We're in the process of trying to figure out what's causing it so we can fix it.
> 
> Sleeping in another room would get me more sleep, but then I'd be worried she'd get injured again and I could have been there to prevent it. I'm a deep sleeper, so I don't always wake up when she does it, but sometimes I do. Like this morning, she might have fallen off the bed and cracked her head open on the hard floor if I hadn't caught her in time! She recently broke the tip of her nose falling in the bathroom.
> 
> I am a little worried about her not realizing who I am during the episodes, though. I've heard sleep walkers can get violent, especially if woken by touch. I try to wake her with voice only.


That would still creep me out; and my ex didn't sleep walk but she did do a lot of strange things when she was off of her bi-polar meds, like a few times I'd wake up and feel someone staring at me and it would be her up and awake at 3:00am sitting in our bedroom chair - STARING at me asleep! I told her to pleaaaaase stop doing that or it would only piss me off every time!


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## piggyoink (Apr 10, 2012)

Let alone the minor things such as temperature/stealing sheets, etc, but what if someone snores like a diesel engine? you're going to have to sleep in different rooms until you get the problem fixed


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Well wether this is a good or a bad thing my wife and I now sleep in seperate rooms for many different reasons I listed, and I am now permanently setup in the guest room of our house. But we are not fighting at all right now so it was not decided in the heat of the moment; and it's just something that's been gradually happening anyway, and we usually take turns moving to the guest room at least 4-5 times a week - every week anyway.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I like it cold she likes it hot.


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## srcampbell1975 (Sep 12, 2012)

mmy husband and i sleep in seperate rooms sometimes. He has a jerking leg problem (not RLS) and snores and i'm a VERY light sleeper. So half the time my son sleeps with me and my husband sleeps in my sons room. H refuses to seek medical help in finding out what to do about the leg problem, and i'm not going to lose sleep because he just doesnt care. we have only been married 2 years. We live more of a room mate relationship than a marriage. ITs very sad and lonely.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

The King Of Queens-525-Bed Spread (3/3) - YouTube


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

southern wife said:


> The King Of Queens-525-Bed Spread (3/3) - YouTube


My wife and I have many more issues with our sleeping arrangement than in that episode of "King of Queens"(which was hilarious btw), and I am liking sleeping alone in a seperate room and the biggest reason is I'm getting very solid sleep now. :sleeping:


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> The King Of Queens-525-Bed Spread (3/3) - YouTube


I absolutely loved that comedy!
Kevin James is one of my all time favorites!


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Cee Paul said:


> My wife and I have many more issues with our sleeping arrangement than in that episode of "King of Queens"(which was hilarious btw), and I am liking sleeping alone in a seperate room and the biggest reason is I'm getting very solid sleep now. :sleeping:


When my ex and I were still married, I took sleeping pills every night. I'd stay up as long as I could and just dreaded the act of going to bed. I always thought I was just a "bad sleeper". His snoring, getting up, turning over--all of it woke me up all the time unless I was highly medicated.

Turns out, I just didn't like sleeping with him. Now I have my own bed in my own room that is done up the way I like and I sleep like a baby.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

COGypsy said:


> When my ex and I were still married, I took sleeping pills every night. I'd stay up as long as I could and just dreaded the act of going to bed. I always thought I was just a "bad sleeper". His snoring, getting up, turning over--all of it woke me up all the time unless I was highly medicated.
> 
> Turns out, I just didn't like sleeping with him. Now I have my own bed in my own room that is done up the way I like and I sleep like a baby.


We both snore like a fog horn, and so it's usually whomever gets to sleep first that gets the rest and the other one then suffers all night. Not to mention I have asked her repeatedly to lock the cats out of the room because they usually wake me up several times every night, and she has repeatedly refused and so I had to do what I had to do to get some rest.


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## La Rose Noire (Jun 20, 2012)

I couldn't imagine having to sleep in separate rooms. I couldn't be with someone who wanted that. I need to be able to sleep all curled up together.


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

My parents slept in separate beds for about 3 years before they divorced...

My H works out of town so when he comes home we like to sleep together. He has sleep apnea and uses his machine after many years of arguing over it. The machine helps his snoring but he laughs, whines, fights, kicks, pinches, talks... Thank heavens for sleeping pills


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

When I first got together/married with H I realistically considered separate beds. I had never been able to sleep well in a double bed with another person before, but with my 280lb (at the time) hubby it was almost impossible. We could not fit on that bed, and he reached nuclear temperatures at night, whereas I like to be cold/chilly before I can sleep.

But we got ourselves a king-sized bed and now most of those issues are behind us. He's mentioned how much he would love to hold me while we fall asleep and I wish I could do it, but I can't be touched at night or in the morning or I'm immediately awake. Unless it's actually freezing cold, then I shuffle closer to him for a snuggle


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

yh a double bed for my is really a proper single sized bed lol


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## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

We will go to bed together watch TV, and if I am having issues sleeping, I will go lay down in the guest bedroom after she has fallen asleep. Sometimes she is snoring really loud and I will retreat to the guest bedroom again. It happens a handful of times each month.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

suspiciousOfPeople said:


> We will go to bed together watch TV, and if I am having issues sleeping, I will go lay down in the guest bedroom after she has fallen asleep. Sometimes she is snoring really loud and I will retreat to the guest bedroom again. It happens a handful of times each month.


Kept happening over and over with us so we decided to just make a permanent switch, and as far as bed sizes go we have a giant king sized one but space is not the issue in all of this.


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## SeptemberBlue (Sep 14, 2012)

I have recently taken a separate room because my husband sometimes annihilates himself with alcohol and has sleep apnea (he wears a CPAP mask nightly). His snoring is louder than you can humanly imagine (it has always been a source of amusement/amazement for others). I normally sleep with earplugs and have been doing so for years. 

But, with the alcohol abuse that won't stop, no matter how i plead or reason, I honestly don't want to wake up next to a corpse because he has stopped breathing in the middle of the night or has choked to death on his own vomit.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

SeptemberBlue said:


> But, with the alcohol abuse that won't stop, no matter how i plead or reason, I honestly don't want to wake up next to a corpse because he has stopped breathing in the middle of the night or has choked to death on his own vomit.


Serious question: is the alcohol actually a problem? I'm totally ripped right now while I'm writing this. I find that my writing is a lot more creative and coherent after drinking 5 beers :smthumbup:


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## bahbahsheep (Sep 6, 2012)

Snore is usually the problem.
and also differnt working hours - differnet waking times another reason why couples sleep in seperate rooms


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## SeptemberBlue (Sep 14, 2012)

ShawnD said:


> I find that my writing is a lot more creative and coherent after drinking 5 beers :smthumbup:


yeah, YOU find it that way 

And yes, the alcohol is a serious problem for me. My H refuses to drink socially, he only drinks by himself and hides himself from me and the fact that he is doing so. When i find him, he is usually completely incapacitated. 

He doesn't drink everyday, so he thinks he doesn't have a problem with alcohol, but I know he does because of the intensity with which he drinks and the fact that he doesn't want me knowing about it. He knows I hate it but apparently that isn't important to him. 

I am sure he sees me as nagging him about it, but this is a much more serious issue than nagging over who is doing household chores or even arguing about money.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I figured out a couple of years ago that my wife didn't love me any more (classic walk-away-wife). I'm guessing it happened about 15 years ago. She just never told me. She still won't admit it, but actions are a lot louder than her empty words. I thought it was just a rut when she would come to bed and turn her back to me with barely a "goodnight". After trying to fix that rut and realizing it was permanent, it got hard to go to bed. A reminder every night of my failed marriage. A reminder that she just doesn't care.

I'm fine during the day. I can occupy my time. But her crawling to bed late, after 3 or 4 hours of TV time instead of married time, and turning her back to me just screams "FAILED MARRIAGE". Every night.

It's just too hard to lay next to someone, EVERY NIGHT, who has rejected your love and makes a point of expressing it EVERY NIGHT. 

It's just too hard for me.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

ShawnD said:


> Serious question: is the alcohol actually a problem? I'm totally ripped right now while I'm writing this. I find that my writing is a lot more creative and coherent after drinking 5 beers :smthumbup:


You're either joking with that statement or just plain dumb.


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