# Anyone know anyone who ever went off to the deep end in an affair and then realized?



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I mean like the really bad ones like the wife is actively dating even after her husband caught her, like leaving the house at night after the kids are in bed to go to the AP house like a kid going out on a date type. Or the guy who goes off with a bunch of hookers or something. Like a wife starts swinging with her AP. Like really crazy beyond the pale stuff that you occasionally read about. 

Is it even possible to wake up from that kind of off the rails brake down? Again I am not talking about the ordinary office affair that when they get caught they are ashamed, maybe not enough to stay together but still fell guilty. 

I am talking about the ones where anyone looking in would think the WS is a monster or has completely lost their minds. Is it possible to allow yourself to get that ever? Or is it so bad that you have to just deny it. If you can one day realize how does one deal with the realization of how poorly they treated anyone in real life.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Good question.

Their in denial. Rewrte history to ease there guilt.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

More importantly what kind of Fog is the that same husband in that he is willing to stay home and watch the kids while she is having sex with the OM. That is some seriously mess up guy.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Lostinthought61 said:


> More importantly what kind of Fog is the that same husband in that he is willing to stay home and watch the kids while she is having sex with the OM. That is some seriously mess up guy.


Normally the guys is divorcing but he wants to keep the house and not get accused of abandoning, or it happens so fast he is in shock. I can't remember any times where this was a long term thing. But even if you are divorcing to do that to someone is just monstrous.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I left my wife for a month due to an affair with my former secretary. She had just separated from her husband and was out for revenge sex. She tried to perform oral sex on me for every year of my age, on my birthday. The first time I made her orgasm she yelled out the corniest thing I ever heard in bed, "Now I know why they call you the boss." So the sex was fantastic with her. My wife never talks during sex and this girl know what to say to turn me on during sex. My wife was crying on the phone when she called me and the new sex excitement wore off and I was left with a girl who was living with her mother and looking for a new husband to replace the old one. Typical fall in love with your boss story. 


It was a crazy time since we were waiting for our new home to be built and living with my parents. We had to move back home because my wife was homesick and I guess I resented it. I did it for her but still, I had to take a step down in the new job. Even living back home with my folks was bringing back the reasons I left home at 18. They were great parents but my mother was too much into my business and afraid of everything. So we got back together and are married for over 44 years now. One more thing, I got a parting gift from the girlfriend. She did not know that her husband caught an STD from the woman he was cheating with. She had no symptoms so she did not know she was a carrier. I got it and gave it to my wife. I thought sex with a married women who only had sex with her husband in all of her life, was safe. Funny in that I had unprotected sex with lots of women who were into sex with many different partners. Yet I got an STD, a minor one, from someone who only had sex with one other guy in her life.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

@Luvmyjava's crazy ass ex comes to mind.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> @Luvmyjava's crazy ass ex comes to mind.


Good Lord that was a painful read.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> @Luvmyjava's crazy ass ex comes to mind.


His wife never got it though. I mean ones who actually wake up and get it. There has to be some. Sometimes it seems like the WS has a mental breakdown. I wonder if that is true and some actually come to there senses. I remember reading a few but they were bipolar or something like that.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> @Luvmyjava's crazy ass ex comes to mind.


I never saw the end of his thread....

DID she come to a realization she had gone that far into Crazyland?

Last I remember, she was still fully engaged in Fantasyland.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

When they go that far off the reservation.....I think its far more likely they end up where jlc29316's exWW ended up then that they come to the realization they temporarily lost the thread of reality.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Dyokemm said:


> I never saw the end of his thread....
> 
> DID she come to a realization she had gone that far into Crazyland?
> 
> Last I remember, she was still fully engaged in Fantasyland.


Nope.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Dyokemm said:


> When they go that far off the reservation.....I think its far more likely they end up where jlc29316's exWW ended up then that they come to the realization they temporarily lost the thread of reality.


So I looked him up and remembered the post which was a few weeks ago. Went from - 

_Me and my wife have been together for 13 years, been married for 7. We have two children, 12 and 3. Things haven't always been great, as with all relationships. We met through a friend and hit it off right away_

To

_ex-wife, she passed away two years ago due to suicide._

From the dates of the post it looks like it took 5 years to get there. Scary.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

No.....he posted an update after a couple years off just a few days ago.

Had to change his username because he forgot his old password.....so if you check it out, his last few updates are under another name....but the thread starter is still listed as his original.

His exWW ended up committing suicide a couple years after their D.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Dyokemm said:


> No.....he posted an update after a couple years off just a few days ago.
> 
> Had to change his username because he forgot his old password.....so if you check it out, his last few updates are under another name....but the thread starter is still listed as his original.
> 
> His exWW ended up committing suicide a couple years after their D.


Sorry yeah I looked it up and changed my post. Wow.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Really a tragedy.....I know cheaters suck.....but the fact that any human being felt so lost and depressed that the took their own life is still sad IMO.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

I think people self-medicate using the strangest things. And infidelity can give some of the same highs as drugs, gambling etc. Thinking about cheaters as people who probably have bigger things wrong in their lives than just the ability to break their marriage vows does make me see them differently. Not necessarily their actions and choices. But them. 

I know my husband's AP. She divorced her first husband because he had a blatant, in-her-face sexual affair. Now she is divorcing her second husband - largely I think, because she is unable to face up to what she did to her husband in having an affair with mine. As affairs go, theirs was pretty shallow end. She apologised to both him and me (?), but that isn't quite the same as dealing with the consequences at close quarters. Climbing off the hormone bus and "realizing" that it was a truly horrendous idea; and actually confronting and living side by side with the consequences are two different things. So, I think that a reasonable degree of guilt and denial can actually co-exist quite comfortably.

No matter how deep end a WS's behaviour is, no matter how much damage they wreak on their spouse and family, the one they have damaged most of all is themselves. Seeing it as basic self-destruction is probably not inherently helpful to a bitter BS, but time can bring a more philosophical perspective.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*My RSXW didn't need to go out at night when she was at home. 

Unbeknownst to yours truly, she saw her BF's often enough, while on her weeklong "Horse Show road trips," all while leaving me at home alone to deal with ranch chores and with her juvenile delinquent, dropout, dopehead kids. 

I guess rolling some guy off in his ranch house bed, or at some swanky hotel, or in a bed and breakfast suited her sexual appetite just fine!*


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> @Luvmyjava's crazy ass ex comes to mind.


Yeah...LuvMyJava. 

HerHusband.

SteveK.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> Yeah...LuvMyJava.
> 
> HerHusband.
> 
> SteveK.


Who was that other guy... @lascarx ...?

Also, @Malcolm38.

Don't recall that their respective WW's "went crazy", but they definitely ran headlong into a wall of "Holy crap what have I done?".


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Who was that other guy... @lascarx ...?
> 
> Also, @Malcolm38.
> 
> Don't recall that their respective WW's "went crazy", but they definitely ran headlong into a wall of "Holy crap what have I done?".


Lascarx's and Malcom's wives were run-of-the-mill ho-bags. Not really "out there", but just your average immoral, serial cheats until they got busted.


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