# don't give up...it gets better



## Amymarie717 (Jan 12, 2013)

It's been about 6 weeks in separation and heading toward divorce. I couldn't even breathe after it first happened. After having gotten some distance, I finally feel hope, and confidence that I can move on. I feel happy lately, actually. Distance has made me realize that this is definitely for the best, and that perhaps my STBXH has done me a huge favor by leaving me, because I'd have remained loyal to him forever and just lived a very average life. 

My point is, as someone who wanted to completely give up a month ago, it DOES get better. I know we each have our unique situation, and perhaps mine was not as complicated as others (no kids, no affairs), but when they say time heals everything, I think it's true. Please have patience if you are in pain. There's no magic amount of time and I think every situation is different, but it's kinda awesome once you make it to the other side and realize that maybe you're going to be OK.

Will be thinking of all those I follow on this site tomorrow for V day. What a lame holiday haha


----------



## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

It won't be lame for my four year old little girl. She's my Valentine. Thanks for the words. 
It was hard at first wasn't it. My Dr. told me my body had gone into shock
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Amymarie717 (Jan 12, 2013)

GutPunch said:


> It won't be lame for my four year old little girl. She's my Valentine. Thanks for the words.
> It was hard at first wasn't it. My Dr. told me my body had gone into shock
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Actually, I agree. It's so cute for kids! Getting and making those little valentines and making cards in school for your parents  Trading those candy hearts. Aww! But I def think it's lame for adults. Men forced to buy flowers and feel pressured to buy gifts. WOman acting like she doesn't want anything but if she doesn't get something meaningful she will inherently question her man's devotion to her. Couples making reservations at restaurants that double price on Vday just because they can. LAME!

And yeah it was so hard at first. Like, unbearable. I still feel sad, but at least I don't feel dead anymore.


----------



## Mothra777 (Apr 10, 2012)

10 months on for me...I'm definitely better than the initial month or two. I do lapse into sadness every now and then but that is bound to happen after an 18 year relationship. 

I was never really that big on the Valentines Day thing as I hated conforming to expectations to buy gifts or do something romantic on a day that everyone else is doing the same. I much rathered doing such acts on a random day of my choice...not that it helped, she still left me  So it has passed me by (we are at the tail end of it here in Australia) like any other day. I can see how it might get some people on here down as V-Day serves as a constant reminder of being single - but I recommend embracing your freedom as a single and go treat yourself to something nice. I went on a 60km bike ride around the nearby lake and then got myself some take away Thai food. I have my son with me today too which is cool - we are going to watch David Attenborough's new series Africa this evening whilst munching down popcorn on the couch


----------



## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

We never really did V day. But since I have Irish roots, he treated St. Patrick's day as a sort of V day for years, calling me his Irish princess...and then that all stopped too. So both these holidays can suck it as far as I'm concerned.


----------



## Jack spade (Dec 29, 2012)

AM717 - thank you for posting this. It's good to see a post about hope here alongside all the stories of struggle. I think it helps those that ate still in a very dark period. I'm a dude who never really like Valentines Day (although I did like celebrating special evenings with my wife). I was in the card store yesterday getting a card for my son to give to his mother and started balling when I saw all the romantic cards cause I realized that I would probably never get the chance to give here another one. Now I have a reason to hate v day even more. Ugh!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## zappy88200 (Dec 6, 2012)

Guys....I agree.


----------

