# Mixed Messages???



## Faith2011 (Apr 13, 2011)

My husband is currently sleeping at a friend's apartment. He comes over every night after work. A few times this week, he stayed for dinner. I have done well with trying to seem friendly but indifferent. Last night he started to ask me about what my plan is with my lawyer. He mentioned wanting to settle it out of court. Keeping it in the court system has been my way of delaying things.

Then he started crying. He seems to want to go through with the divorce but in my heart I cannot see him going through with it. He has issued me a separation agreement so it is up to me to respond. I have done my best to delay the court hearings but now I am running out of options. Delaying it even more just pushes him away even more. I feel like I need to proceed so that he knows I am serious.

He ended up staying the night and we were physical. This morning, I left for work and we were both awkward and careful not to initiate any affection.

Anyone have a similar experience? Any advice on how I should proceed both legally and emotionally?


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

I am so sorry. You cant really keep the courts out of it but you might want to save the pain and legal fees by stipulating the settlement. If he wants the divorce in most states he can drag you along kicking and screaming if need be, better to just do it and not make it a fight.

If you are meant to heal and reconcile there is no law against re-marrying your ex  

Emotionally... sh1t I'm so lost...


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## Sas581011 (Mar 27, 2011)

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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I would ask for a pause. You guys seem confused on what you want.

I would separate for a bit before you decide. Get him or you in MC or IC if you can.

I don't know your story, but if he is coming over regularly and you guys are physical, then give it more time.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

If you filed for divorce, you can ask your attorney to suspend it--in essence put it on hold. If he filed, then you are along for the ride. Sorry I haven't read your other posts to really understand what is going on.


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## Faith2011 (Apr 13, 2011)

Thanks everyone. He is very confused. I am away for the week so I'm hoping that my absence will wake him up. We still have months before anything becomes final so I'm hopeful we can figure this out before anything permanent happens. I truly believe that this is an early midlife crisis. I was hoping to start trying for a baby the month he started the divorce. Does that seem possible? He has had panic attacks every time I have wanted to take the relationship to the next level. Any thoughts?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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