# Disneyland parenting



## BaxJanson (Apr 4, 2013)

Do any of you have advice for handling a Disneyland parent? One of the major reasons my wife filed for separation was because I protested the lifestyle she and the kids (9 and 3) shared. She regularly gets season passes to the zoo, museums, children's museums, amusement parks, movies, and many other places. Upon news we were separating, her parents paid for a 10 day trip to Disneyland. Now, a few months later, they're on a three week vacation to the Oregon Coast and Yellowstone. 

I know that I have little recourse to change any of that behavior, but it leaves me in a pair of problems. One, everything there is to do around town - they've done it with her already. And Two, when it comes time for my weekends with them, they're usually exhausted. During the school year, they'll usually hit at least one of those places a week, and 4 or 5 of them a week over the summer. I really like spending time with the kids, and like to focus on what it is THEY want to do, but it tends to lead to weekends of naps, downtime, and tv/books. Not horrible, but I'd like to be able branch out a bit, you know?

Any advice/success stories?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Stop focusing on what she does with your children. That's her business. She is not doing anything wrong.

Children will do the same thing many times and enjoy it. Ever seen a kid watch the same movie over and over? 

Unless you live in a very low populated area, there are more things to day than what any one person (even with kids in tow) can do. So use the internet and find things to do. Try Find your people - Meetup and see if that site has things that you and the kids would enjoy.

Another thing to think of, maybe your children would enjoy some down time.


----------



## BaxJanson (Apr 4, 2013)

I recognize that her time with them is her own. What I am growing weary of is being the only one to provide downtime. For the past several months now, the kids come in to my house and collapse. They don't want to do anything but rest. I've pulled them on a few excursions, and they're exhausted after an hour. 

Same kind of things with toys and clothes, really. Every weekend they've got new clothes to show off, and each time I go to look at toys with them, I hear the same chorus of "Oh, Mommy bought me one of those! It's in my room at home!"

I've brought up the fact that I'm not happy with the situation, and she has dismissed it each time as simply "Me trying to control her life and choices."


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are your children?

How many hours a week does your wife take them out to do things?

What time does she put them to bed and when do they get up?

Do they play a lot of video games at your house?


----------



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

You were separated in part because you complained a lot that the family would do too much "stuff" and now separated you are complaining that you are not doing stuff?


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

There is a lot to be said for providing down time, that's when they can really develop their interests. Instead of asking them where they want to go, ask them if there is something they're not doing that they might like to do: learn a foreign language, camping/fishing/skateboarding, making stop motion animation movies, learning astronomy, knitting, etc.

Downtime is awesome. Kids need to be left alone. 
When they realize they want to be doing something or exploring in a way other than through an admission ticket, they will advocate for themselves with the other parent. 

Until then, realize that this travel isn't necessarily bad for them. They will see a lot of the world, also they will have less fantasies about how their lives would be better if they could go here, there, everywhere/anywhere. They will learn that wherever they are, they are human and still need to eat and poo and sleep and this will evolve them into more resilient and solid human beings.


----------



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

You are providing a peaceful sanctuary for them. Just hanging out and talking and watching a dvd together is allowing for more interaction than 'going places'. 

Have a pajama day and just rest and relax with them. I assume they don't complain that there isn't all this frantic activity when they are with you?

We had more fun doing puzzles, playing with marbles, playing board games, twister, going to local pet shops to check out the animals, playing a little catch or badminton than we did on some of those tiring structured outings. 

You're a great dad, you care!


----------

