# Communicating your feelings everyday is a must in your quest for emotional harmony



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

This is what I am doing now...we've been in this journey to find balance between my needs and my wife's needs. For a long time, we have had a situation where my wife try her best to please me but it wasn't enough. Some of you criticized me for that without understanding our relationship at all; nevertheless, I kept coming and I got a lot of good advise and ideas...after many fights, arguing, and sometimes getting upset for small things took me to propose to her to talk our hearts out...she told me what she felt, and I did the same....I cannot believe how things changed....to me, it does not matter if I want something and we can't have it because she is not in the mood, as long as whatever we can have is with love and passion....is about the woman not sitting there like a death body and you there trying to get something from her that you eventually get when she is very aroused, but it wasn't enough for me, I needed her to show passion and excitement for me and my body...I worked very hard in the gym to keep strong and lean...and she never made me felt like she appreciated....well, now she is even saying that it seems that she is making love to a 20 year old....she touches me nicely, she kisses me nicely...the other day we kiss like I could feel the end of her throw...it was something, because she was reaching for my throw...so you can see now how that level of passion and desire, makes 69, anal and others secondary......is about the love, the connexion...?? comments?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Sex alone is over-rated, I agree

Communicating EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY?! However... I disagree, but then again, me and the missus are on a rocky course outside of the bedroom, so we might have to do more of this (after this current fight)...


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I talk honestly, I told her that through out our lives together, never felt sexy or desired by her...it was always her boundaries and call about everything we could have...it was on a schedule, she enjoyed it and i did too, but the desire and passion from her to me was never really there...I did not what was happening to me, because I was looking at porn, fantasizing about other women, masturbating a lot, etc....well, I was resenting my wife....but again, we were in another place in our lives....I turned 40 and things changed for me....i started asking this is it?...if i want a 69, i just never going to get because she just doesn't like it??....today, still is not her favorite position to give ourself pleasure but she gives it to me for a few minutes because she understand the excitement this act of being able to have her bottom in my face does for my instincts.....and little by little she is relaxing more and enjoying it more.....we do variations of the position, but I don't get upset when she is not in the mood....i understand that i have to meet her half way, is my way to tell her i love you dearly...


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Sex alone isn't only overrated if you ain't getting any! HA

Its so hard to communicate to your spouse when it feels like a one-way street. I keep telling myself everyday - it's not about you, it's about us, it's about us.

So I'm trying to do what you and your wife are doing and just be nice and loving to my husband, tell him everyday that I love him (which I was doing before anyway), not press him to say anything back, let him come into his own and not pressure for sex. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done - ever. It's not in my nature to let things slide and not try to "fix them."

But, like you, I'm going to keep plugging along, hoping there is a payoff somewhere down the road for us (notice I didn't say me).

Great news, I'm so happy for you that things have improved. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for us!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

marcopoly69 said:


> ....I turned 40 and things changed for me....i started asking this is it?...


 This is your Mid Life Crisis Marcopoly and it is ALL sexual in nature. I have pretty much understood where you was coming from, even when many crucified you for sounding too demanding & porn crazed. I too feel (for my own happiness), I NEED (almost like air) that free flowing communication with ALL of my erotic passionate ideas & wants- I NEED a receptive & enthusiastic partner to unleash them on. Without this , or if this had to be restrained somehow because my spouse was offended by it or didn't like it, pushed me away, something inside of me would slowly "die". 

I am SO happy that you & your wife have reached these heights of Communication with each other & have resolved these sexual problems of your past. Be encouraged , even though right now, she may not have as high of a sex Drive as you dream about , I bet in a few years, you will find yourself more *equal* in this area, or hers even surpassing yours! Won't that be a hoot! 

Here is what happens in many marraiges as we get older (I copied this from an article I read ) >>> 

*Balance the seesaw*. 

When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move. 

Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Well, one of the things we agreed upon was to meet as a couple to actually talk about our sex live as well as our emotional needs every two weeks for at least 2 hours....here we can talk and agree about what we can do to make sure we still close and happy.....I told her that I just can't keep going through an emotional rollecoaster since it just hurt too much...and it may affect our children too...so we need to talk and invest in our relationship....like we meant it.....


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> that is the best way to start. i think within the next 12 months, you wont even need to schedule a meeting, it will be so normal, and so like this is how is was always supposed to be, that it will happen where ever you both are.
> 
> so happy for you...


Thank you very much...with my wife, we always have had this strong love for each other for many reasons,,,she is smart, work hard, a good mother, good daughter, etc.......I always knew that our sex live was not very good.....and I am just happy to have found that she really loves me very much and she understand that am the kind of person who needs to feel and receive love in the way i give it....not the same, but if your partner understand that he/she must make an effort to make you feel loved the way you need, then you'll experience happiness and feelings of gratitud and wanting to comprimise....i love her so much...but i love her more when she loves me back the way i was missing.....happy holidays


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