# Cheated on pregnant girlfriend (sort of long story)



## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

I have another post found here:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...irlfriends-baby-talks-come-back-haunt-me.html

To sum it up quick. My girlfriend became obsessed with having a child and she was more then happy to address her needs by tricking me into getting her pregnant. We used condoms for a majority of our relationship before she got on birth control. Turns out she never bothered taking it (flushed them down the toilet each day) and got pregnant soon after.

Anyways. I have been really uspet with her and we have tried working things out but its tough because I havent talked to anyone about what she has done (It would absolutely ruin the relationship with her/my family). So today ,while she was visiting with her mom, a good friend of ours stopped by to hang out (She does this about twice a week). We talked about her pregnancy and how my gf told her about what she has done to me, She told me how sorry she was that I was dragged into this situation. I confided in her about my worries and she comforted me.

I ended up breaking down and I started crying the hardest I have in years and she spent a good half hour or so trying to soothe me. To be honest, I have bottled up a lot of things over the past 2-3 years and it felt good just to get it off my chest. I thanked her and she told me it was no problem, The entire time she is running her hands through my hair affectionately. She soon ended up kissing me and I found myself quickly returning the kiss. We ended up having sex 5 times today. When all was said and done, She kissed me goodbye and left a smile on her face. My gf returned home an hour ago and ,after a quick talk about how our day went, she had a quick snack and went to bed.

I feel ashamed. I know the hurt of having your trust betrayed and now I have done that to her. This woman was a good friend of ours ,who is coming over to spend time with my gf tomorrow, and I honestly dont know what to do. Im sorry if I offended anyone on this forum with this post but I just need some advice on what to do here. No haters please.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

asylumspadez said:


> To sum it up quick. My girlfriend became obsessed with having a child and she was more then happy to address her needs by tricking me into getting her pregnant. We used condoms for a majority of our relationship before she got on birth control. Turns out she never bothered taking it (flushed them down the toilet each day) and got pregnant soon after.


I once had a girlfriend do this.
Her room mate informed me of her flushing the pills by taking me into the bathroom where I could see that days pill slowly dissolving in the bowl (She forgot to flush)
I immediately dumped her. 



> We ended up having sex 5 times today. When all was said and done, She kissed me goodbye and left a smile on her face. My gf returned home an hour ago and ,after a quick talk about how our day went, she had a quick snack and went to bed.......
> 
> I just need some advice on what to do here. No haters please.


Tell your girlfriend about your infidelity and then leave her.

Never stay with a woman who uses sex and/or her reproductive system to manipulate you ...EVER.


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

I care for her a lot and what she did was terrible to me but ,after thinking about it, I am really only staying for the baby. I know what its like to grow up in a single parent home and it sucks not having both parents around. I want my child to have a good family life, Even if that means I have to tough it out with her.

I got a call from XX (the girl I slept with) and we talked about what happend. She wants to meet up with me tomorrow or the day after to hook up again and I agreed. I know its wrong but to be honest, I dont care. I consider it payback and I plan to keep screwing XX until the baby comes.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Speaking from personal experience here... I thought I could stay in my marriage and have my intimacy needs met outside the marriage (i.e. cheating). That lasted all of about 6 weeks. The odds of you keeping things from blowing up in your face for 18 years is incredibly slim, and when things do blow up, it will be all your fault. What she I'd will be forgotten, and two wrongs don't make it right in any case.

Plus it's not fair to XX.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Gee aren't you a charmer!!

You have every right to be upset with your girlfreind if she actually did trick you. Did your girlfriend tell you that she tricked you? Or did the one who how has you all hot and bothered?

Do you really think that you staying for the baby dispite not wanting to be with your girlfriend will give your child a good home? Hardly... a father running around screwing whoever he can get and showing such great disrespt to your child's mother will not be a good home.

Leave your girlfriend. Play around all you want. But file for 50/50 custody of your child. That way your child will have both of you in his/her life.

By the way.. what kind of birth control is your new lay using? Or is she jus out looking for a baby daddy. After all you have shown that you can knock up a girl.

You are being petting and vengeful.. not a lot of character there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PBear said:


> Speaking from personal experience here... I thought I could stay in my marriage and have my intimacy needs met outside the marriage (i.e. cheating). That lasted all of about 6 weeks. The odds of you keeping things from blowing up in your face for 18 years is incredibly slim, and when things do blow up, it will be all your fault. What she I'd will be forgotten, and two wrongs don't make it right in any case.
> 
> Plus it's not fair to XX.
> 
> ...


:iagree: XX knows what she is doing. She's having sex with her friend's boyfriend.. and baby daddy. She could care less about the baby-mommy. She's one cold person.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

You are doing no better to her than what she did to you. Why not rise above it all, tell your girlfriend you know what she did and dump her, dump the "friend" you are fooling around with (she may turn out to be more trouble than your current gf) and move on with your life? 

Make sure you keep your parents and hers in the loop. They need to be clear on why you would dump a woman that is pregnant with your baby.


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## NatashaYurino (Jan 2, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I once had a girlfriend do this.
> Her room mate informed me of her flushing the pills by taking me into the bathroom where I could see that days pills slowly dissolving in the bowl (She forgot to flush)
> I immediately dumped her.
> 
> ...


Man, it must scary for men to have to know women like that are out there. If I were a man I would ALWAYS have my own condoms with me at all times.


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

PBear - We are not married. We have been dating for 2 years (I have known her for 7 years). I dont plan for this affair to continue, XX and I know its just a fling but we might as well enjoy it while we can.

EleGirl - Get off your ****ing high horse. If you had read the thread I posted (which I believe you posted in, I am not 100% sure) then you would see that she admitted to tricking me into parenthood. She admitted it! Also ,as I said above, This affair isnt going to be a perminent thing. Its a fling, An act of revenge really because I am angry with her. I know it wont lost and so does she. Also, If you were in my shoes then I am sure you would act a similar way as well. So once again, Stop being so full of yourself.

Falene - I understand that but once again, More trouble then what its worth. I honestly would never hear the end of it from either of our fams. Her parents are good to me and always treated me like I was one of their own, They went crazy when I started dating her (my gf). If they knew what she did, It would crush them as much as it crushed me. And to be honest, I really wouldnt be suprised if they stopped all contact with her completely if they did find out. Same goes for my family. I just see the entire thing as revenge for what she did, Getting even really and thats it.

Natasha - As I said before, I have known this girl for 7 years. I have been dating her for 2. I never expected her to do something like this and when she did, It destroyed everything that I thought about her and it made me re-think everything I thought I knew about her. Also, I trusted her. That is why I didnt bother wearing a condom because I trusted her completely and this is what I get.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

asylumspadez said:


> Falene - I understand that but once again, More trouble then what its worth. I honestly would never hear the end of it from either of our fams. Her parents are good to me and always treated me like I was one of their own, They went crazy when I started dating her (my gf). If they knew what she did, It would crush them as much as it crushed me. And to be honest, I really wouldnt be suprised if they stopped all contact with her completely if they did find out. Same goes for my family. I just see the entire thing as revenge for what she did, Getting even really and thats it.


It is clear that you are thinking of others ahead of yourself in some of this and this is an admirable quality but I fear it may wind up biting you in the arse.

Do you really think that your unfaithful actions are going to stay secret forever? Answer me this please...

What are those same parents going to say when they find out you were cheating on her while she was pregnant?

When that baby is here and is the apple of their eyes, do you think they are really going to put the necessary weight into the fact you did so knowing she got pregnant on purpose?

I have a deep appreciation for not dragging the parents into it but I am thinking about you now, no one else. Stop fooling with the "friend" and be honest and pure of thought and action. You don't want to leave her? Don't, but be sure the truth is out there.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

This is another good one. 

You had sex 5 times this evening and you have enough energy to post about it on a marriage positive site? Did you at lest take a nap and a shower and change the sheets and air out the room before your gf came home and you paused to brag about it on this site? 

How old are you? 

This good friend, she is ok with being used by you? Sounds that way. That's fantastic! You must be quite the lover. I doubt it though - you don't last long? Is that how you got in 5 - about a minute each time? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

You can be there for the baby without being in relation with this woman. Dump her but still take care of the baby. And your friend is the dangerous kind. You are jumping from one crazy to another. And you never put you d!ck in crazy. you already did it twice. Congrats!! This will bite you in the ass.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

What you and this so called skanky ass friend are doing is wrong. Period. 

Your girlfriend did you wrong...deal with it like a grown up. 

I was cheated on while pregnant...it f**king sucks.


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## whatevahz (Feb 22, 2012)

lol. My husband called me a **** after I gave birth through an incision on my abdomen and was alert during surgery. I had ankle swelling no one warned me of, and was flipped out over the edema just quietly waiting to either be told what was up with that and found out it was normal. Listen childbirth is no easy task and gestation is pretty different. Sometimes with some women there is an independence there during pregnancy that leads to this incredible co dependance, and the not having it is like an addiction when the guy is unable to be there to share it, and a rejection of the partner just happens and there is no fixing it, sometimes. She is still visiting her mother, what in a nursing home? Not my business. Parental visitation is like odd after having a child or being married, it's one thing to so the restaurant or personal place of worship public get together but going over to the parents house to like visit more than the parents need them is strange and if she is still going home to her momma pregnant as an adult she'll be on mommas doorstep with the baby. Some people just keep going home to their parents and never quit doing it, it's like some kind of adult child syndrome. Adults realize that their parents want to have their stuff, furnishings, things they paid for and fought like hell to keep clean and neat, organized and tidy and one look at an adult offspring or a grand baby offspring and it is time to break out the dish rag and vacuum and there went the break time. Sometimes Grandbabies are welcome for a limited time, to get that work out, but it tires people out and makes them evaluate their mortality again after they already accepted it, and it's like you, adult offspring leave your parents alone and let them invite you and call every once in awhile to let them know your alive and then that whole process of letting you go, for good, due to mortality happens all over again. What young adults do not realize is that you are not proving anything bringing your babies home to mommy and daddy, you are not looking like a failure even, and yes they and the rest of your family is going to wonder what the f is wrong with you for doing it, but if you need to and they are fit to handle it, go on ahead now and quit bug chasing and gift giving trying to find a personal solution and move ahead on with it and do what is proper for yourself and gain some independence. Life experience, experience in it, start with a college education, it'll be good to you, before you decide a baby is whats best for you and that'll fill some kind of void in your ever maturing mind and help ya. (just mentioning not directed AT anyone)





asylumspadez said:


> I have another post found here:
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/family...irlfriends-baby-talks-come-back-haunt-me.html
> 
> To sum it up quick. My girlfriend became obsessed with having a child and she was more then happy to address her needs by tricking me into getting her pregnant. We used condoms for a majority of our relationship before she got on birth control. Turns out she never bothered taking it (flushed them down the toilet each day) and got pregnant soon after.
> ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

asylumspadez said:


> EleGirl - Get off your ****ing high horse. If you had read the thread I posted (which I believe you posted in, I am not 100% sure) then you would see that she admitted to tricking me into parenthood. She admitted it! Also ,as I said above, This affair isnt going to be a perminent thing. Its a fling, An act of revenge really because I am angry with her. I know it wont lost and so does she. Also, If you were in my shoes then I am sure you would act a similar way as well. So once again, Stop being so full of yourself.


Yes I did post on your previous thread. But you sounded like a completely different sort of guy on that thread. We are now seeing the ‘rest of the story’. 

You came here looking for input and advice. Did you expect to only hear what you wanted to hear? You are in the process of screwing up your life. And you are already messing with the life of your unborn child. Some people will tell you that very clearly in the hope that you realize it and do what you can to mitigate what is about to land on you.

Since your gf is a single mom she will have 100% custody of your child upon birth. You will have no paternity rights when your child is born. This will hold until either she agrees to name you as the father or you go to court, spend a lot of money, fight and prove it. And even after that she and her parents could make your life hell by working to prevent you from having much time at all with your child.

What your gf did was bad, really bad. What you and XX are doing will complicate the situation. Why not just tell your gf that you cannot get over what she did and she needs to move back with her parents. Then you and xx can do whatever you want.


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## blissful (Nov 14, 2011)

When it comes to right & wrong there is no grey areas. Just black & white.

Your GF shouldn't have tricked you into falling pregnant- fact.

You having an affair with a friend is wrong- fact.

No matter how you phrase it, or how angry you get, you are trying to justify your affair with your girlfriends stupid actions.

Can you not see how this is morally reprehensible? You have the right to be angry & you can choose to work through those feelings with your GF or without her. You DO NOT have the right to pile on more misery into a situation by behaving this way. 

So get angry, ask that no haters respond, blah, blah, blah, BUT what you are doing is disgusting & now you've lost the right to be p!ssed at your GF, as you behaved just as badly.


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## asylumspadez (Jan 17, 2012)

Falene - No doubt it will bite me in the ass, I know I cant avoid it forever. I think our parents would say the same things (should they find out about what she did) even if the baby is born. The only difference is that they wouldnt completely cut her off because of the baby. If they found out I was cheating then I am sure they/she would be hurt but I know they would eventually get over it. Thanks for the advice.

Catherine - Funny. My gf left at 9 that morning, XX came over at 12ish and didnt leave until 6:30 (give or take a few mins). Had bout an hour to clean up before gf came home. We have a small bedroom so it wasnt tough to clean. As for energy - I thank my energy drinks for that. I run a lot so I always have various energy drinks in the apartment, I downed two of them (cant recall which ones) and I was set for hours. XX (the friend) knows that its just sex and nothing more (youd have known this if you bothered to read my other posts). Now go take your bashing else where.

warlock07 - I honestly dont know what I am going to do.

lisab0105 - Yes what I am doing is wrong and I admit that but telling me to grow up when it was my gf who tricked me into parenthood? lmfao, not that bright are you?

EleGirl - I think I will do that (have her move out n such). We are suppose to be taking a seperation soon (as said on the other thread) so I will start doing that earlier instead of later. That way I can get this fling out of my system and get my head straight.

Also, I highly doubt she would get full custody. I know the courts favor the mom in these situations but I think theyd lean towards me more when it comes to custody. I have the far better paying job, which I can also do from home should I need to. I do all the cooking and cleaning around the apartment. I pay a majority of the bills (She pays for her cell phone and pays half the rent). I am far more responsible then she is. Also, I did come on here for input and advice (advice being a key word here) but people are bashing me, That isnt advice.

blissful - (for the last paragraph you wrote) I know what I am doing is wrong but I am doing it for revenge and nothing more, Getting even with my gf for what she did to me. Im gonna relax for a week or so and see what happens, I just need to get away from all this.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

HAHAHAHAHA...You are funny dude. 

So let me get this straight...you are getting revenge on your girlfriend (whom you had sex with WITHOUT a condom) because you BOTH got her pregnant...(pregnancy happens with or without birth control pills, sorry to burst that bubble of yours) and your solution is to go and have SEX (the act in which causes babies to be born) with someone else as revenge??????????? What the hell are you gonna do if this chick ends up pregnant? 

The only non-bright one here is you. Using sex as revenge for having a baby is cruel, thoughtless and well stupid. 

And when I say deal with this like a grown up, I mean, TALK to your girlfriend, go to counseling, seperate...not go stick your d**k into the first open legs that will spread them for you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

asylumspadez said:


> I got a call from XX (the girl I slept with) and we talked about what happend. She wants to meet up with me tomorrow or the day after to hook up again and I agreed. I know its wrong but to be honest, I dont care. I consider it payback and I plan to keep screwing XX until the baby comes.


I smell Troll. Because, obviously.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

To help understand more of your sitation in regards to custody, what state do you live in?


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

End relationship

You have shown you incapable of being in a truly committed relationship. God will judge


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

So, two days ago she was going to counseling and you guys were working on things. Or so your other thread says. Now out of the blue you are going at it with her bestie. 

Good luck, now she can tell the baby that mommy and daddy broke up cause daddy couldn't keep it in his pants. And you will sound SOOO mature telling a kid that you only did it for revenge LMAO. Are you even listening to yourself?


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