# The Beginning of the end



## OrokoSaki79 (2 mo ago)

olleH


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

OrokoSaki79 said:


> Hey everyone. I'm new. I just need to air this out. Thanks for reading even if you don't comment. I'm sorry if I come off as an asshole, but I reached compassion fatigue a long time ago. I'm going to try to make this post as easy to read as possible...
> 
> Me:
> 43
> ...


I wouldn't automatically assume that you will be cast as the villain in marriage counseling, and you two need it. She likely needs individual counseling as well, but this is a way to get her started. You are both just going through the motions. You're not connecting. That business about the project board to visualize her strategy - I mean, she could have something going on where she has to organize her thoughts that way. 

I say take it to marriage counseling. I think as long as you are honest there (like mentioning the project board), she therapist will see clearly enough it's not JUST you.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She sounds like a soul sucking emotional black hole where kittens and bunnies go to die slowly.

Id rather be cast as the divorce villain than continue with Mrs. Nonproductive life leach.

I rolled my eyes as soon as you said nonprofit.


----------



## Exit37 (3 mo ago)

OP, the place to start is marriage counseling for the two of you, and IC for yourself. Do both before you make any life-changing decisions... Do you schedule date nights for the two of you? Bring home flowers from time to time? Tell her she's beautiful? Not judging, but it's easy to get into a rut when you have small child(ren) and you both work long days. Hang in there.


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Wow, you are really all over the place here. Why are you married again?

You are the 2 extremes of the spectrum of into and extroverts. She’s kooky and extreme about social interactions and you want to freak out if she breaths your way.

Why are you with her again?

Whatever that reason, remember it.
Take her to counseling and figure your stuff out.
But hold on to that reason cause nothing else is working.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

What I got out of this is that you're great and she's horrible. You clearly don't Ike her very much....everything you post about yourself is wonderful and everything about her is awful.

Maybe she seeks validation because it's clear her husband can't stand her.

Either try some MC or go your separate ways. You can both find someone you're more compatible with.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

It’s clear you despise her. You say nothing nice about her. Get a divorce.


----------



## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

That was hard to read, you and your son don’t want to even look her way??? It sounds so so much like she’s such an annoyance. 

It reminds me of an article or something where neglected children talked about their busy parents’ phone addictions. Something along the lines of, ‘If I disappeared they wouldn’t even notice’. 

I’m not sure you need a wife, that was one of the more difficult posts I’ve had to read. 

I hope she never reads that, on top of already knowing fully how little regard you have for her. That would be soul destroying. 

Do you know why you think you’re so much more superior than her?


----------



## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

Luckylucky said:


> That was hard to read, you and your son don’t want to even look her way??? It sounds so so much like she’s such an annoyance.
> 
> It reminds me of an article or something where neglected children talked about their busy parents’ phone addictions. Something along the lines of, ‘If I disappeared they wouldn’t even notice’.
> 
> ...


Really? That's the way you read it? And then people say there's no gender bias! Come on now.

She is obviously happy in the *chaos* and he is not. She is centered in her work and everything else, including her family, take a backseat. By his commentary I can deduce he is seeking simplicity and clarity of mind and she keeps on putting more sh-t on her own plate, doing volunteer work when she is supposed to be spending time with the family.

Some people just don't know when to log off. That is a huge issue.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

BoSlander said:


> Dude, she's happy in the *chaos *and you seem tired of her shenanigans. I also sense your real regret is not having another kid, which she is not going to be able to give you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


How do you figure she's happy? Based on his I'm great and she sucks post?

Seems to me that one who seeks a lot of validation and looks for reasons to not be home is unhappy. I have no idea how you made a leap to gender bias here. I'm great and my spouse sucks narratives are always suspect.


----------



## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> How do you figure she's happy? Based on his I'm great and she sucks post?


I didn't say she's happy, I said she's happy in the chaos (and when she's not in the chaos, she is not happy). He is obviously not. The comment itself is an ode to attention. He is yearning for her attention, but she's too busy playing Super Woman Executive.



> Seems to me that one who seeks a lot of validation and looks for reasons to not be home is unhappy. I have no idea how you made a leap to gender bias here. I'm great and my spouse sucks narratives are always suspect.


Really? *Introverted* dude spends 14 hours commuting and you think he's looking for excuses to not be home? Yeah, right. Why did I bring up the gender bias? Because if this were a woman complaining, you would be out here complaining about him not paying enough attention to her, which is what he is harping about. It is CLEAR AS DAY that he misses being a dad and having a wife. A person and a safe space he can come home to.

The fact that you concentrate on the content (guy tries to sound smart and put down the woman-How dare he!!!) and not the message underlines the straw man-_ish_ twist to your argument. And it also underlines the overlapping issue that modern Western women HATE, DESPISE, being criticized. AS IF!


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

BoSlander said:


> I didn't say she's happy, I said she's happy in the chaos (and when she's not in the chaos, she is not happy). He is obviously not. The comment itself is an ode to attention. He is yearning for her attention, but she's too busy playing Super Woman Executive.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I was referring to HER not wanting to be home and engaged with her constant volunteering for stuff. 

Based on your ridiculous biased "modern western women" comment I can see you we're not going to be able to have a productive conversation. It's pretty clear you dislike women, except maybe the foreign ones you can buy.

I won't be replying to you any more here.


----------



## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

lifeistooshort said:


> [...]It's pretty clear you dislike women]...]


I rest my case.

I love it when they just fall into the trap.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

OP removed opening post so this thread is now closed.


----------

