# curling up into fetal position



## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Confirmation it's over.
I'm curling up into the fetal position while typing this.
I don't think I can or want to make it through this.
SOS somebody, anybody.
I need HELP.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

You can make it through this, if for any reason because you have to. What other option do you have? 

I am so sorry you are feeling so awful. I wish I could do more


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

CD

The only words I can offer are that if it is over, you now can move forward. Being in limbo for so long myself I know what it feels like. You have to do for yourself and what is best for you now. The pain sucks, believe me I know, but you have to feel it and process it to be able to move on. It feels like someone has ripped you in two and you are one big nerve that someone else keeps hitting over and over, but it will get better. This is the process. It is hard and painful, but your life isn't over. We are all here for you. Let us help however we can.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

why is there no crying face! 

Seriously Ive been like this for 2 weeks now.. how do I get myself out of this black hole to at least a dark hole where I can get out of bed. 
Yes, Ive mostly been in bed for 2 weeks.......2WEEKS. ahhh I am very depressed and scared this is it for me.

How do you guys do it...how do you get up in the morning.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Thank you stair and dante 
unbelievable pain


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## cisco7931 (May 2, 2011)

I'm almost on our 60th day of separation. I was in your same position for at least half of it... Then I slowly came to realize that things can get much better, even if I am alone... 

You know what helped me? Three things: Friends, Family and most importantly GOD. 

Believe me when I say that throughout our 6 year of marriage, I didn't focus on any of those three, its just me, her and our daughter. When it ended, those three same things I took for granted saved my life... 

You will get through this, I stood up from that fetal position to slowly regaining my self-confidence... I'm still not there, but its worth every single tear I cried... 

Read through my posts and you will see my story...


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

nickiblue, I have NO idea how we got here
no it isnt fair to have those extra pressures. 
why is he leaving then coming back in two days?
I am sorry. 
I was barely coping through denial and hoping he would change his mind. Now I'm at this point where I know it is really happening and have this incredible sadness and pain overcome my body.


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

caughtdreaming, I didn't know until the separation that heartache was really a physical sensation. I am sorry for your pain. It was helpful for me to keep up my normal routine, including work, being present for my sons and exercising. It was helpful to have a counselor. I hope that you seek further help. We have local crisis lines and perhaps you do too. Call one if you can't cope.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

caughtdreaming said:


> How do you guys do it...how do you get up in the morning.


It's been rough. I can't bury myself in work like some folks can. Work was impossible some times. I am lucky enough to have a job with lots of vacation time. I have used A LOT of it the past 6 six weeks. Now I'm better, but let's talk when I have to go to court or on our anniversary on the 8th.

It sounds trite but I started running again. It's really been helping and I've lost some weight I needed to lose so there's that at least.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

caught:
I know what everyone means, the pain at times seemed unbearable. I had no idea what pain meant until now. This is the hardest thing I have been through in all of my life and I am no spring chicken, I am 54.

Today, I feel very unmotivated because I am stuck with no money, no job and house that just doesn't want to be sold, so I am stuck in same house stbxh.

Some days it is better than others but I have to be vigilant in what I listen to, what I see and how I think because it is so easy to get sucked back in again.

Love yourself, we are all here for you, we are all going through the same monstrous pain and some of us have made it through that point. SO HANG IN THERE, this too will pass.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

I am 4 months in and now I recognize the pain and accept it. It is MUCH easier to deal with. It comes in much shorter bouts and it is not as physically painful.

You HAVE to do the 180. FOR YOU. 
You HAVE to get out of bed and walk, swim whatever. Your body is drowning in the byproducts of adrenaline. You need to do exercise. Anything. Walk. Swim. whatever. Do it until you are exhausted then do some more. 
That night you may sleep.
Next day
Get out of bed..
Do it again.
Eat good food.
I went 10 nights with no more than an hours sleep. I went on anti-depressants for a bit. Helped. 

You WILL get past this. We know how you feel. All been there.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

How are you feeling cd?


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

eh, not that great. pretty bad actually. I'm in the house all alone today. I really hate weekends, no one is ever here. When people are here I don't talk much its just nice to know I'm not alone. 

It's a long weekend...been wondering what stbx is up to since its his days off. It really breaks my heart to know that hes doing whatever he wants and this has no effect on him at all. Seriously-no effect. This is the same guy who called my parents two years ago crying because he thought he was going to lose me and he loved me so much blah blah.... Guess he didn't love me *that* much. I don't understand it. 

Yeah, I know stop. I'm trying not to think about stbx and memories but its really hard when this is every thought in your head.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

My stbx felt the need to tell me he's going to a party this weekend. I will not be going to any parties. I totally know how you feel.

I've spent the morning watching back episodes of Cougar Town and now I'm totally depressed. I'm thinking "whoo divorced 40 year old woman I can relate!".

no. she starts dating hot guys like 1/2 way through the pilot.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

! Why the heck did he tell you he is going to a party.....is he trying to make you jealous??? Ohhhh the nerve. 

My stbx doesn't tell me anything. He doesn't even want to engage in conversation because I became quite impolite and he knows how hurt I am. Him not talking to me is probably a good thing for me. But it makes my head spin. 

Ahh the t.v. gets me soo depressed at times! Everything is either love blah blah or lost people trying to find love again. Cougar town leaves me saying, wth! I would never be able to do the things she is doing!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Bridesmaids was awesome. The lead character is broke and in a crappy place. No great job, lots of money and men everywhere.


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