# I am lost. On my knees.



## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

Hi all,

I dont even know where to begin. infact, I am a quiet person who keeps any form of "pain" inside and never lets it out. I guess by society where I live, I am "forced" to keep it in. its just how it is.

It would be better for me to make an audio recording about what I am feeling but can only think that not many people would be interested to listen to something but rather read, so here goes...

I have been single for a long time. 5 years to be exact. I have only had literally 3 dates in that time. In the end they just wanted money and to be spoiled for the evening before they are playing their games and moving to the next guy. 

Where I live, and I dont mean to be negitive or anything - there is no concept of relationships. Forget about marriage - that word doesn't exist, but relationships no longer. Its all about convenience and that you have to be "hot", of a certain height, of a certain age, of a certain skin tone, of a certain look... all superficiality. nothing else matters.

at times, yes, I do question humanity. I sit for hours on end, sometimes feeling sorry for myself (hey, someone has to!) but questioning why we are in such a state. Why is it all about "me me me", people are too judgemental and just dont have the patience to sit and listen or understand anything... the list goes on.

I've been hurt badly in the past and wouldnt wish what I have been through on my worst enemy. Of course, ive moved on but with what happened, there will always be that scar that exists but does not affect the future. Just like bad memories right?

I have done everything you could imagine to find and to date women. I always make the effort, I always pay for travel expenses to see them, I always pay for dinner or coffee or whatever but.... in the end, nothing. What is the "feedback?" Just the usual - "you arent attractive" or "you aint my type" or "there is someone else"..... 

i dunno. maybe I have been betrayed by my parents that marriage is a great thing and that there will be that woman for me. I keep hearing even today "oh there is someone for you".... but where? I've heard this for years but where? If there was that person, even for them then why are they still single and playing games?

ok, im sorry for the rambling and ranting. over half of the things I wanted to write about.... arent even here. I guess ive just given up. There comes a time when enough is enough in someones life about anything, any situation, any circumstance... 

im not perfect but I know I am damn better than most men. I have integrity, self respect, educated, have my own business and work for another company, I have won awards for the work that I do globally but also recently had my name published in a book. I dont ask for much. I have NEVER lived off of any benefits or welfare of any kind. Self sufficient.

I guess, i should be doing what most seem to do here which is to drink endlessly, get drunk and be a total bum because they get sex easily! I couldnt care less about sex. I just want a woman to be with, to connect, to share things with you know? 

hmm. I am stupid.

sorry for the ramble and post.


----------



## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

How old are you?

What is your sex rank?


----------



## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

why does age matter? I'm old enough. its about mindset and maturity... nothing else matters. but if you must know, im in my 30's. I was the first one to graduate university by the time I was 20.

as for sex rank? What do you mean?


----------



## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

lostandfound2012 said:


> why does age matter? I'm old enough. its about mindset and maturity... nothing else matters. but if you must know, im in my 30's. I was the first one to graduate university by the time I was 20.
> 
> as for sex rank? What do you mean?


one’s attractiveness in general to the opposite sex. 

Scale 1-10

Age matters in terms of "experience"


----------



## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

that is ridiculous. i dont know. how am I meant to know? probably -10000

but why should that matter?! you seem to completely misunderstand what I said... pouring part of my heart out really. and we are talking all of a sudden about scaling for attractiveness? I never knew anything about this.... was never told about it.

what makes others think they are 10? if they are then why are they single and play games, cheat, lie etc.... ? hmm, thats plain wrong IMO


----------



## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

lostandfound2012 said:


> that is ridiculous. i dont know. how am I meant to know? probably -10000
> 
> but why should that matter?! you seem to completely misunderstand what I said... pouring part of my heart out really. and we are talking all of a sudden about scaling for attractiveness? I never knew anything about this.... was never told about it.


Look you are asking for help we need to know something about you.

Are you decent looking/fat/pimply/nerdy what so far you sound economically stable that's a plus

You also sound whiny big minus.


----------



## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

wow. 

never knew we could "design" ourselves in the womb.... if I had known, then I wouldnt be in this situation or feeling the way I do.

I dunno. But dont women say "you shouldnt have to change. you should be you".... ??

ok im stepping away from here. hmm. this is the state of the world and people's minds.


----------



## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

lostandfound2012 said:


> wow.
> 
> never knew we could "design" ourselves in the womb.... if I had known, then I wouldnt be in this situation or feeling the way I do.
> 
> I dunno. But dont women say "you shouldnt have to change. you should be you".... ??


See that's why you don't get it of course appearance matters.
Most successful couples are about the same sex rank.

If you are a 2 and going after 8 forget about it.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Don't stress on the looks ranking OP TBH I think your bigger issue is your self depreciating attitude. Whether you acknowledge it or not it will come across as extremely off putting to women.

You sound like a successful man in your career but your self esteem is shot to pieces. Do some work on that and you will have a far better chance of attracting women.


----------



## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

You sound like the quintessential nice guy. And that's not a good thing. At all.

I had a long post breaking down exactly why I feel this way, but I think you would benefit from reading "No more Mr. Nice Guy." Buy this book. Hell, here's a PDF you can download. 

http://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

Read it. It may help you understand why you have crap luck with women and relationships.

(Here's a tip: It's not _them_ that's the problem - it's _you_.)


----------



## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Do you think you may be depressed? Also, what do you do to meet woman? Have you tried online dating?


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lostandfound2012 said:


> wow.
> 
> never knew we could "design" ourselves in the womb.... if I had known, then I wouldnt be in this situation or feeling the way I do.
> 
> ...


the help you need is at Roissy's. Go here and start educating yourself. You need to wash off the girl-repellant.


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

see a psychologist/psychiatrist 

get help

read my thread on how to be happy (ha sorry i think its a good thread)

try MOVING away from where you live.

start approaching women more and dating. You are a grown man there is nothing that can stop you

best of luck


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Start dating. Either you'll find "the one" or gather a lot of potentially interesting life stories. Go for the sure thing and not the risk and you'll never really get a reward. Dude, you just sound like you're hiding out from life instead of living it. Get out there!


----------



## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Lostandfound,

You radiate pity party sulky yucky wet blanket vibes and that scares off women. Your woe is me demeanor is poison to yourself and to others, and comes across like a wet fart.

You need to start with a major attitude adjustment because it seems you have terminal cancer of the vibe.

Stop looking for a woman and instead start looking for ways to improve all aspects of yourself, your life.

Your post left me feeling yucky and it repells me,

Take care and report back in a few years. You can turn your life around and be happy.


----------



## Liam (Nov 13, 2009)

I think some of these replies are a little harsh. OP said he keeps his feelings of disillusion inside, so it's not as if he meets a woman and immediately tells her all this. 

It sounds like you want a meaningful relationship, nothing wrong with that at all! As for you questioning humanity, I find myself doing that fairly often too. The 'me me me' and instant gratification culture is getting more and more prevalent.

Emerald mentioned online dating - have you tried that? I have no experience of them myself, but as far as I'm aware, eHarmony and Match will take all the information you enter about yourself and try to find people who are a good 'fit'.

Although I understand where you're coming from, I also think you need to look at having a more positive mindset. When you're in a downward spiral, it can be all too easy to view everything negatively. Learning to adopt a positive mindset makes such a difference though, trust me on this  

Hope things get better for you


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

First of all, get UP off your knees. Stand up like a man. Find your self-respect and stop this pity party. Not sure where you are from, why there's no marriage or relationships, but can't you move to where these things do exist?


----------



## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

lostandfound2012 said:


> wow.
> 
> never knew we could "design" ourselves in the womb.... if I had known, then I wouldnt be in this situation or feeling the way I do.
> 
> ...


You do not like what you are hearing but this is reality, you either accept it and adapt or stay in denial and complain that the world doesn’t work how you think it should. 

I know, I was you once.

You are trying too hard and coming off needy and insecure when you do. It’s not about looks or money; it’s about having self-confidence. The common denominator in all your woman troubles is you so that’s where you need to look for fixing your dating problem. People here are being blunt but it is for your own best interest that you consider what they are saying.


----------

