# Opinions, Please! Fair split?



## PinkSalmon13 (Nov 7, 2013)

Thank you in advance for any and all opinions.

Keeping it very brief, have been together for almost 35 years and married for 80% of that time. Due to irreconcilable differences, I am thinking through the process of divorce. I have very little animosity in this, I just know I need to move on. Well past what any marriage counseling could help with. Hopefully things will be amicable. Want to avoid the expense of lawyers. This raises the following questions:

1) Being that we've been together so long, I'm simply planning to split my income, SS, pension, and 401K 50/50 'for life'. In doing research it seems this is probably what a judge would determine due to the length of the marriage. I don't want to throw my wife into hardship. She is the mother of our children and has been a big part of my life until things started to fall apart 7-8 years ago. Does this seem reasonable and fair and generally in accord with what a court directive would be anyway? There's really no significant property to contend with, so no bogging down over other 'assets'.

2) Would there generally be an 'if you remarry' clause? Something like an across-the-board reduction to 75/25 or something like that?

Thank you.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Every state has different laws, that could be the deal you end up with. A great deal also depends on just how amicable the two of you are. If you can both agree on a settlement, most courts will accept that.

You state you have no property but I would guess you have vehicles, things like that those would need to be considered. Also if you have life insurance policies they may not allow you to remove her as beneficiary if she is currently named as such for a period of time.

Remarrying or cohabitating is again something that can be negotiated depending on how amicable the two of you are. You can also try just a lump sum payment if that can be afforded to get out of alimony and the two of you can agree.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It sounds fair and reasonable and probably what a Judge would order. However, there should be provision in there that your W will only benefit from your pension until such time as she re-marries or lives with another as husband and wife. If you have to pay her alimony, the same provision should apply. But if your W has been working since the children left home, alimony shouldn't apply at all, IMO.


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## PinkSalmon13 (Nov 7, 2013)

Thank you for the responses. In reading some other threads, it appears that 401K and pension (I have both at my job) may not be cut-and-dry 50/50. It sounds like, for those two things, the ex would generally be entitled to $$ amounts accrued only up to the date of the divorce being official.

Is that an accurate understanding? 

Also, would I pay all taxes off the top and she'd be receiving tax-free income (she wouldn't be taxed on monies that have already been teaxed in other words?) Or would she be responsible for paying taxes on monetary assets she'd receive in the settlement?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

There is no tax on the division of assets in a divorce, they aren't being sold for a gain or loss, just redistributed. 

Alimony may differ from state to state but here it reduces my gross income and I don't pay tax on what I pay her. She is responsible for paying the tax. Its her income. 

401k, pensions, are generally divided on an agreed date, what is there on that date gets split, if she rolls it into another qualified plan, no tax. If she cashed it out she pays tax and penalty. Its her money at that point and her decision. 

Given the length of your marriage it wouldn't be unusual that some type of clause was put in that say you died within a specified time she would be entitled to your share of 401 or life insurance. Also when she reaches retirement age she can officially retire and collect social security and they will use what you have paid in to base her monthly benefits. Theory is because she stayed home all those years so you could make money therefore denying her the ability to pay s.s. so she gets to claim based on what you paid in. This also pertains if you died.


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