# How to fix the porn problem, Maybe



## venis (Mar 8, 2011)

This is an old post from 2008
Porn Question for the ladies 

Ok let's say your hubby loves to watch porn and this get's you mad.

I am wondering how many of you woman would be willing to say this to your husband.

OK Honey, you have to get rid of your Porn collection. BUT I am willing to make our OWN porn collection if you wish to view that only. You go to ABC website and pick out the costumes and figure out the scenerio's you wanted (role playing) and we will do them with these limitations.

I like to view porn, but I find our home movies 100X more exciting then the "professionals" 

I think every couple should do their own collection, if gives you a chance to be naughty, yet welll within your comfort range, your hubby can view some hot "porn" of his wife. Part of the fun is the wife acting out the scenes.

Just wondering how many of you women would be willing to do this for their man or for themselves. 


Wow I was scanning older post and I saw this it should be brought back to the top of the list, and women you should see the value in this persons suggestions. I truly believe this is one good way to solve the PORN issue in your home. Men are men and I’m one of them I don’t claim to be perfect and have all the answers and I certainly have screwed up over the 30 plus years of marriage. Yes my wife and I have created home vid’s and I love watching them. It was away to relive some of the hot spots in our sex life. Unfortunately it stopped and she said she was to gross to put on vid’s any more. This is where women make a big mistake.
Husbands/ Men have this thing about their women they want them more the most women want or need this type of thing. I would watch our home vid.s all the time it made me feel good to see her and all the kinky things we shared. 
I wont share more at this time ,but wait and see if the women out there are will to say. Honey go get the camera and lets have some fun, and if they ever get on the without my permission I’ll xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
So let see the response and maybe we wont see so many porn issues here.
*Be the salutation*


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

But what if a woman does not want to be video tapped? It's either internet porn or a performance by the wife. What if the woman did not feel she signed an acting contract when she took her vows? What next?

This is not a solution to the porn problem it's an extension of it. Why is the onus on the woman to solve the problem by exposing herself? That's a bonus for the hubby for his problem but where is it written that his wife has to do this. Because she has the misfortune to get married to a man with a porn addiction? Here is another requirement for a woman who wants to marry, she has to be prepared to let the hubby video tape her to keep him happy. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, the risk that the video will end up in the hands of someone who cares nothing about her wellbeing is considerable. 

After all of the scandals of ex's posting videos to humiliate women, I think any women who allows a man to have control of sex videos of her have to be crazy. Mothers tell your daughters. My advice - never allow yourself to be video tapped, old bf and ex husbands and even husbands post them. There was no criticism of the men for being less that men and violating a womens who trusted them by betraying them. 

There is no rush to inact laws to protect women who are betrayed. That to me means that our culture is still bent on shaming women for having sex. There is no shame directed where it belongs at the men who do this. It not worth it, even in a loving relationship, women need to protect themselves from being used. 

You never know what the future will bring, when the ultimate weapon will be used, exposure to public scrutiny by a man who knows society will punish the woman but not him for being dishonorable.. There are no laws, niether judicial or code of conduct, that prevents a jealous ex or perverted H from posting a video. 

If you like to video, keep total control, never give your images to anyone, he can watch in your presence on your computer. Giving some man control of sex videos is like giving a charge card to a teen, the temptation is too great.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

venis most of the time women have an issue with their h watching porn because he doesnt want to have sex with them. 

But speaking of "men being men", I wonder how well it would work out for "women to be women". I used to have a penpal friend, male, whom Id never actually met nor even seen a picture of, who offered to give me money and gifts all the time. I wonder how my H would have felt about me taking it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'm sure my wife would consider it a moral outrage and a sin against something or other. She has little to zero interest in sex. That's not the point.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

venis said:


> I am wondering how many of you woman would be willing to say this to your husband.
> 
> OK Honey, you have to get rid of your Porn collection. BUT I am willing to make our OWN porn collection if you wish to view that only. You go to ABC website and pick out the costumes and figure out the scenerio's you wanted (role playing) and we will do them with these limitations.


*As A Warning.....* Let's stick to this topic with our responses.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> I am wondering how many of you woman would be willing to say this to your husband.
> 
> OK Honey, you have to get rid of your Porn collection. BUT I am willing to make our OWN porn collection if you wish to view that only. You go to ABC website and pick out the costumes and figure out the scenerio's you wanted (role playing) and we will do them with these limitations.


I would be more than willing to please my husband in this way. Let's go Shopping! And we have done this, except I used Ebay.

I don't mind him looking at a little porn though, so maybe I am not qualified to answer this question


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Personally I have no problem with my husband watching porn. I watch it too. We have quite a few private videos of ourselves and tons of pictures.

Private sex tapes/photos is a complicated issue. Not only a woman has to trust the man, the man himself has to be trustworthy. If I'd thought for a second that there's a chance he would post it somewhere or show it to someone, there's no way I'd do this. Of course in turn that begs the question whether he'd try to tape us in secret and what would my reaction be to that then.

But let's say for the sake of the argument that I am against my husband watching porn. He is trustworthy and thus I trust him. Then yes - I'd go with the deal.


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## canidothis (Mar 21, 2011)

I have actually tried the home video suggestion and made one of myself for him and pics etc. and it didn't work. But after all the issues we've had with this we finally figured things out. All this time..he was afriad to talk to me openly because of how I approached him about it. Which I didnht even realize but he said he felt ashamed and guilty and like I was accusing him. We sat down and talked things through. We went an entire week without looking at porn. So, I compromised with him and told him if he could keep it under control and we watched it together or if he is masterbating. No extra sneak peaks numerous times a day. He even said he'll keep the internet off his phone to help me trust him about the situation. Hopefully it works out ok for us...this is only day 1 since our talk lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## venis (Mar 8, 2011)

So you tried something thats great and you figured out something that worked for you even better. Now thats what we are talking about keep trying things.
so if the home vid and pic arn't your thing try putting on a barny costume if it works for you both
Remember all sex start in your mind! the good the bad and the ugly


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

My hubby and I watch porn, in fact I usually have to make him watch it (I'm sure he's just playing hard to get tho) and we have our own private stash.

Since I don't have a problem with it, I wouldn't force him to only watch the videos of us.

How about doing what Charlotte in "Sex & the City" did and get him a subscription to an adult magazine but tape pics of your head onto the womens head and only leave their body visible? 
Just a thought.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> How about doing what Charlotte in "Sex & the City" did and get him a subscription to an adult magazine but tape pics of your head onto the womens head and only leave their body visible?
> Just a thought.


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## venis (Mar 8, 2011)

Reading the replies in this thread I find it most interesting that each reply has a different concept of the question. When I saw this topic my intent was to provide options for some of the readers. Not to anger them or cause them pain as a few have expressed. We all need to learn to look at thing with an open mind. We don’t need to change our moral position or compass on life. A lot of the readers here are stuck in a rut.
That is why the topic of PORN is one so interesting and most read on this site. I would like to help you think differently about thing just because we all were taught how and what to think as we travel through life most of us don't just site and ponder what we ourself think out side that box.
Porn or lets call it a display of sexual action. When most of us view this we our self are stimulated and I think we should be. 
“women have an issue with their h watching porn because he doesn’t want to have sex with them”
Wow If this is true I’m way off base, but personally I would have to say if a man is using porn not so he can present him self to his partner then he or they have issues.
If my wife came to me and suggested we get naughty in front of Macys window I would be all over it. Not because of the wild experience but just because she want to make love to me. Porn can be a tool if women want to use it that way. Drugs are a tool if used correctly.
Open up have fun use the thing in life to make you happy and sex makes me happy.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

I would prefer my husband to watch porn, quite honestly.


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## venis (Mar 8, 2011)

HelloooNurse said:


> I would prefer my husband to watch porn, quite honestly.


The reason you would rather him watch is why?


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Been there, done that Venis.

Didn't make ANY difference.


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## jay3171 (Nov 19, 2010)

I find most porn boring. The movies, "videos" these days, are just about the action and none of the build up toward sex. That is, there's no sexual tension built up between the people involved.

Most guys find porn appealing because the women in the videos aren't giving him a hard time about wanting sex. In fact, she gives every impression of enjoying sex, something most men will tell you they had with their wives when they were dating but that went away once she became his wife.

I think the genders need to meet one another half way -- she needs to become more sexual and he needs to become more romantic. 

If that could be happen, the porn industry might be seriously hindered. 

Just my .02 cents.


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

I would do it. Actually I have been wanting to make our own "movies", 
I would try it once and see what happens!! I think it would be fun for the most part.


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## justme82 (Apr 5, 2011)

I thought I had it all figured out recently. It bothered me that my husband needed porn and pictures of beautiful women. I assumed he needed the porn and pictures because what he had at home was less than desireable. The only problem with that theory was he can't get enough of me.

Then I figured that he has an insanely high sex drive and the problem wasn't me, but him. That theory was shot, too, after he assured me that he ONLY had a high drive with me, and BECAUSE of me.

So why then the need of porn and pretty pics? I honestly get the stimulation porn is used for as my husband explained it. I get the porn, but the pics??

A few years ago I had a major job change. Completely different fields, different job descriptions, everything was different. I was up moving aroung with the rest of the world, seeing people, meeting people ( I'd worked strictly nigh shift before in order to be home with the babies). I started to get compliments of all types, and that made me feel good about myself. Who wouldn't right?

And then we had a huge upheaval and moved. This new life is different from city life. There's lots of physical labor involved and I must admit I lost a good amount of weight. And the attention I got at work from men, once again, made me feel good. See I AM pretty. And my selfesteem picked up hugely. I didn't even know I was getting as much out of it as I was. But I all of sudden had no problems with the porn or pics. So what H liked to look at beautiful women? There are a ton of men looking at his beautiful woman. Boy did that do wonders for me!!

But then things changed again, and H expressed how much easier it would be on our situation if I stayed home, and I whole heartedly agree with him. So I quit my job, and no longer have my fan club on a daily basis to cheer me on, but I get to decide when I need cheering, so not that bad. Except now I have opened my big mouth to H and told him why it was so hard for me quit at first. H seems to be more than a little upset that these real life men are oggling (respectfully) his wife. I don't see a diff. 

So, we are, once again, at an impasse.


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## Drayvius (Nov 30, 2010)

> "But what if a woman does not want to be video tapped? It's either internet porn or a performance by the wife. What if the woman did not feel she signed an acting contract when she took her vows? What next?"


Ya know. I may be a bit biased here, but I think it gets a little crappy to always hear something like this. No disrespect meant to you for saying it....I am just tired of hearing it. This post is really close to one that I have made and this response is really close or exact to some of the responses to that post. 

Ok, I am not trying to disrespect anyone....specially my wife, but I personally feel that it IS the wifes job to satisfy her man and it is the mans job to satisfy the woman. Within reason I am not saying that you have to have a threesome if he wants....there ARE some things that are out of bounds. However, if you cant trust your man not to put things on the internest then there are deeper issues of trust in your marriage.

But more to what I was thinking when I first startd typing this. Why when a man wants something....it is "Why should she have to do [insert whatever situation]" however, when a women comes on here and starts talking about her man not wanting to have sex or whatever its "that jerk" Why is it always HER feelings that have to be considered and not HIS?

Why is it that Her feelings overide His? I am acctually pretty pissed now >_< So I prob wont be comming back to this post to avoid more anger


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Drayvius said:


> Ya know. I may be a bit biased here, but I think it gets a little crappy to always hear something like this. No disrespect meant to you for saying it....I am just tired of hearing it. This post is really close to one that I have made and this response is really close or exact to some of the responses to that post.
> 
> Ok, I am not trying to disrespect anyone....specially my wife, but I personally feel that it IS the wifes job to satisfy her man and it is the mans job to satisfy the woman. Within reason I am not saying that you have to have a threesome if he wants....there ARE some things that are out of bounds. However, if you cant trust your man not to put things on the internest then there are deeper issues of trust in your marriage.
> 
> ...


I don't believe any one is saying that a woman's feelings are more valid then a mans. 

They are saying that men should not expect women to become porn stars. i don't think porn or having to behave like a porn star is healthy for relationships.

That said I am more than happy to try just about anything for my fiance and trust him a lot. I just don't know why it's a womans job to fix a problem that her husband has, if he has a porn addiction that is on him not her. I also would not want to do things if i felt my fiance was watching porn and pressuring me to do things I wasn't comfortable because of unrealistic expectations set by porn. his lack of caring about me would make me want to do things less, not more.


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