# It's been a long time



## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

Don't know how many of you remember all of my story and the troubles we were having a few years back. Anyway, all is good in our family now. I sold off 2 of my companies to make more time for my wife and kids. I get home at a good time every day and we have plenty of time together. 
Sex has been great. 
We have not had a single problem since I made her feel more important. 
She is currently in nurse practitioner school like she always wanted to do, and things couldn't be better.

She now wants to have breast implants. She started lifting weights and decided she wants to start competing in fitness competitions. Said that the larger breasts would "help her" in these competitions. 
I don't have a problem with her having them and don't think she would find a new man. I am not jealous. 
I just wanted to get a little insight on what some with the experience of wife having this procedure done. I told her I hated to see her have an elective surgery, but I would back her if thats what she wanted. This is something I would have never done 4 or 5 years ago. 

Any guys have experience with their wifes having breast implants? Just looking for some feedback. Yeah I know she will have a huge ego boost and feel more confident about herself, but I don't think it will make her start seeking another man. LOL


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

A Gf had them years ago. I didn't care for them, frankly. If there were a health reason, or they were in poor condition after childbirth, for example, I could see it. But just to make them a different size, completely elective? Ummmm, no. Some women do get hung up on boob size, but if she's fit, implants aren't going to help her win competitions. 

how about trying competing naturally and see how that goes first? Surgery should be the last resort.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

That's kind of what I was thinking as well.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Woman here.... i did body building/sculpting comps for a few years and although I loved the effect on the majority of my body I was dismayed at how deflated and shapeless my breasts became as I decreased body fat levels... I felt less womanly.

I didn't get implants and just accepted it as part of the deal...many woman can't do that.

AND I personally believe the larger breasted competitors DID score better with the mostly male judges. The girls must have mass, proportion, definition...but in the end the judge is going to be biased towards and body that is pleasing to the eye...on a woman that package includes breasts IMO.

Congratulations on rebuilding your marriage :smthumbup: so good to hear some happy news on TAM.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

What you said is 'She started lifting weights and decided she wants to start competing in fitness competitions.'

If you had said she has been competing in fitness competitions for the last year and has found ..... then I might have a different answer.

I say wait. See how committed to competing she is.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You sure she's not having a midlife crisis and wanting to attract men?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

no.....NO....and HELL NO

Just the fact that she is even thinking about getting them, without your request should = BIG concern

So she is getting a MAJOR surgery done for career? Think about how stupid that sounds.

DO NOT let your wife go under a knife for this cause. 

Unless we are talking an accident/need to repair tissue OR cancer. Breast implants are a BIG no no from my end.

Why risk health to do this. Why spend SO much money NOW and in the future (to readjust etc).

But that's just me. 

You can also do a search for a recent thread on this, we just went through this with another member too.

Assuming you don't want her to do it.....tell her how you feel and that you love her the way she is and think that she would be making a big mistake going under a knife/getting serious surgery done for this cause.

I'm new here and sounds like you did an amazing job for your wife/family recently (based on your original post). This is time for your wife to do the same........think of it as a test (but don't tell her that).

You were willing to compromise, is she?

Also, what will she do as she gets older and her beauty goes down the crap hole? What's next? Face lift? Stomach tuck? and on and on I can go.

I think part of maturity is accepting yourself for who you are. No amount of money and doctor can EVER stop nature, I'm sorry.

Once she goes down this road, expect more......and your wallet will hate it too.

As far as body competitions go....I'm not sure how I would feel about my wife being up on the stage in the bikini for the whole world to see and admire. Probably a deal breaker for me....

It almost seems like your wife has insecurities with her body? Or is simply looking for validation/acceptance or maybe recognition for her body from other people?

OP, do you ever tell her she looks great etc? Does she listen?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Glad to hear things are on track for you.



shesgone said:


> She now wants to have breast implants. She started lifting weights and decided she wants to start competing in fitness competitions. Said that the larger breasts would "help her" in these competitions.


Waiwera is correct in her comments about breast implants and physique competition.



shesgone said:


> I don't have a problem with her having them and don't think she would find a new man. I am not jealous.


Don't speak so soon. Implants are associated with a lot of bad behavior, but that's only association, not causation.

What kind of physique do you have? Do women come up to you in the grocery check out and rub their hands on your six pack or do they pray to Buddha?



shesgone said:


> Yeah I know she will have a huge ego boost and feel more confident about herself, but I don't think it will make her start seeking another man. LOL


There is a lot of anecdotal evidence of women going mega-slvt ending in divorce after getting implants, but it's just anecdotal. On the other hand, there are real studies showing women who have weight loss surgery have a about an 80% divorce rate inside of two years. I also see this in general with women who lose 80# of fat or more the traditional way, but it's just anecdotal. There is also a real, but small, 1997 study in JAMA showing women with implants have about 14X as many sex partners as natural women, and they also drink more and have more abortions. Another couple of studies say women with implants are much fitter than natural women, but also have about 20X the suicide rate. Again, association is not causation.

How far along is your wife in her transformation? Does she have a coach/trainer who knows the competition ropes or is she just in the beginning stages of muscle building and fat loss? Has she already lost breast mass? Is she going to go "natural" or get on the usual, er, "supplements?" What organization and class is she aiming for? 

Those are all things that weigh in the balance of how and if you should support her. How long has she been at this?


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Don't speak so soon. Implants are associated with a lot of bad behavior, but that's only association, not causation.
> 
> What kind of physique do you have? Do women come up to you in the grocery check out and rub their hands on your six pack or do they pray to Buddha?


I'd agree with this. If you're Jabba the Hut and your lady gets implants you might have issues. But if you're still appealing too its not likely to cause you problems.

My wife is seriously into Crossfit these days, even did a marathon recently. It really hasn't changed how she feels about me at all.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> How far along is your wife in her transformation? Does she have a coach/trainer who knows the competition ropes or is she just in the beginning stages of muscle building and fat loss? Has she already lost breast mass? Is she going to go "natural" or get on the usual, er, "supplements?" What organization and class is she aiming for?


Supplements? I'm sure you mean just creatine right. I shall plead the fifth myself when it comes to that topic.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> Supplements? I'm sure you mean just creatine right. I shall plead the fifth myself when it comes to that topic.


Yeah, creatine. That's the ticket.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

To follow up on some of the comments. 

My wife is now a very small b cup. Before the kids she was a mid/large b. She wasn't blessed in the boobage area. I am fine with what she has. 

This was a problem earlier in our relationship. I didn't want her to have the elective surgery. She resented me. 

She has talked about wanting the implants as long as I have known her. Before we started dating. The competing part I don't really know much about as far as the judging and such. Don't really care if she does it or not. That is something her and one of her freinds "decided" they wanted to try. 

No I am no Brad pitt. I keep myself up. Work out 5 days a week 2 hours per day. 

Money is not an issue. We moved recently into an upper class neighborhood with a big pool and there are alot of women that don't work as well that sit around all day. I personally think that has alot to do with it. Most of them have had implants or other forms of cosmetic surgery. I think this is why she is pushing so hard now. I am concerned strictly with the health side of it. Just seems like a risky thing to me. I am freinds with the surgeon she is talking with, he actually lives on the same street.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

DoF said:


> no.....NO....and HELL NO
> 
> Just the fact that she is even thinking about getting them, without your request should = BIG concern
> 
> ...


She isn't going to do it if I don't write the check. 
I just want to make sure she doesn't think I don't support her wishes. 

It's not a career at all. It is something they want to do on the weekends. She has worked hard for her body, and is back down to what she was before our child. 

I am concerned as you say about wanting more procedures after this. 

I tell her all the time that she is beautiful, sexy, and hot. 
Acts like she listens. Of course I act like I listen to her mom too.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The only thing that concerns me is that often when women get implants, it's because they're in the middle of their midlife crisis, which often includes wanting to see if she can get other men interested. Even if it doesn't start OUT that way. And if she's getting bigger involved in this sport that includes her spending lots of time away from you, especially when it's a sport where lots and lots of buff, egotistical men are involved, I see a recipe for a disaster. I guess what I'm saying is that, if you can't or won't get involved in her sport to the point that you'll be right there with her, I'd expect cheating to be going on soon once she gets the implants. Whether she intends for it to happen or not.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

shesgone said:


> She has talked about wanting the implants as long as I have known her. Before we started dating. The competing part I don't really know much about as far as the judging and such. Don't really care if she does it or not. That is something her and one of her freinds "decided" they wanted to try.
> 
> No I am no Brad pitt. I keep myself up. Work out 5 days a week 2 hours per day.


Ten hours a week in the gym? That's okay if you're taking steroids, otherwise you're overtraining, assuming you're not just wasting time. This is a program that will save you time and actually build some muscle.

At one time, almost 100% of my female clients had implants. I had quite a few ex-dancers and ex-trophy wives in those days.

I say give her the boobs. She may lose the feeling in her nipples, though. Other than that, the health scare proved to be essentially unscientific and the FDA allowed them back on the market.


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

I do around 1 hour cardio, 35 minutes lifting weights and the other 30 running my trap by the water fountain. 




Machiavelli said:


> Ten hours a week in the gym? That's okay if you're taking steroids, otherwise you're overtraining, assuming you're not just wasting time. This is a program that will save you time and actually build some muscle.
> 
> At one time, almost 100% of my female clients had implants. I had quite a few ex-dancers and ex-trophy wives in those days.
> 
> I say give her the boobs. She may lose the feeling in her nipples, though. Other than that, the health scare proved to be essentially unscientific and the FDA allowed them back on the market.


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