# Question for the ladies!!



## Silver92 (Oct 28, 2016)

In a previous post on here about penis size the conversation turned towards anal sex. My question to the ladies that do anal, is it something you do because you enjoy it or is it just to please your hubby?? Just something I was always curious about. Does it actually feel good if penis size is correct and some good lube?


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Fine, I’ll reply. 

For me, it is complicated. The idea of it is hot. Sexy talk about it is hotter. Anticipation about it is beyond HOT. And the actual act is so incredibly awful and painful it ends up with tears and sex ending before anyone is happy. But it is such a turn on that we keep this cycle going.

I read that some people enjoy it and they say you need to be relaxed/lube etc...nope, don’t enjoy it. If fact 85% of my gay friends that are bottoms say they don’t particular care for it either. That is a pool of 11 so not a scientific study. My straight friends don’t discuss anal so I have nothing to compare. 

One time after Mr. Blue cheated on me we were having really really hot vaginal HB sex. Like power thrusters. He went all the way out and then all the way in, but in the wrong hole. OMG the pain! I had a new understanding of prison rape scenes in movies. And I should have gone to the doctor. For a month after that I would randomly **** myself. That was fun. 

And the idea of it is still such a turn on to me that I want to keep trying. But my husband knows the reality sucks so we are done back there.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Sorry - I think it's gross.

I tried it once. Never again. The entire time I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. My poor bum.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

For me it depends on why the guy wants it and how much he wants it. If he wants it for reasons that I’m down with and he’s educated enough to know how to do it probably, and intimate enough to make it pleasurable for me, then it can be very sexy and fun.

But it’s a lot of work and other types of sex are better for me. So it ends up being a once in awhile thing usually.

I had one guy who wanted it a lot and was willing to do the proper amount of preparation with the proper amount of intimacy so we did it a lot for a while. Still I ended up defaulting to wanting other types of sex far more after I got tired of doing the prep work too. It’s just too much extra work, and I like spending my energy on other types of play much more.


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## Silver92 (Oct 28, 2016)

Very interesting feedback! So far it looks like a not so enjoyable experience for the ladies.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Silver92 said:


> Very interesting feedback! So far it looks like a not so enjoyable experience for the ladies.


I’ve also been with guys who sincerely didn’t want it. They had tried it, wasn’t their thing. If a guy never asks for it I’m never going to either. But that’s just me. Some of the guys I’ve been with who weren’t into it had been with women who did ask for it. So sometimes it is the woman who prefers it.

I haven’t personally talked to any female friend who said she preferred it or wanted it as much as other types of sex. But I took the word for it from the guys I had been with that there were women who do and men who don’t. This may be something that female friends don’t discuss much, even friends who talk openly about sex otherwise.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

I personally very much enjoy it. There is a certain angle that it can hit/add pressure to the interior part of my clitoris that can be very pleasurable. I wouldn't say that I prefer it over intercourse, but it's a regular part of what I expect to do in a sexual relationship. I don't know if it's a personal hygiene thing or what, but I've never experienced any mess involved with it.

For what it's worth, I've spoken with many women who love it (some who even prefer it) as well as men who do not enjoy it. It really is an individual thing more so than a gender thing. It might also be of interest to mention that statistically speaking anal sex is primarily performed by heterosexual couples (typically with the woman as the bottom, although men bottoming to women is becoming more common than it used to be). I don't know if people haven't spoken about it openly in the past strictly because of stigma or what, but anal stimulation (both penetrative as well as oral) has become much more commonplace to talk about among the younger generations. It's simply seen as another avenue to explore that, like anything sexual, works for some and others not so much. But definitely lube, relaxation and communication are necessary for it.


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## Silver92 (Oct 28, 2016)

ButWeAreStrange said:


> I personally very much enjoy it. There is a certain angle that it can hit/add pressure to the interior part of my clitoris that can be very pleasurable. I wouldn't say that I prefer it over intercourse, but it's a regular part of what I expect to do in a sexual relationship. I don't know if it's a personal hygiene thing or what, but I've never experienced any mess involved with it.
> 
> For what it's worth, I've spoken with many women who love it (some who even prefer it) as well as men who do not enjoy it. It really is an individual thing more so than a gender thing. It might also be of interest to mention that statistically speaking anal sex is primarily performed by heterosexual couples (typically with the woman as the bottom, although men bottoming to women is becoming more common than it used to be). I don't know if people haven't spoken about it openly in the past strictly because of stigma or what, but anal stimulation (both penetrative as well as oral) has become much more commonplace to talk about among the younger generations. It's simply seen as another avenue to explore that, like anything sexual, works for some and others not so much. But definitely lube, relaxation and communication are necessary for it.


I would assume size does matter big time when it comes to anal? The thickness would play a bigger part then the length? In this case thicker would not be better Lol!! My spouse is curious about it but I am pretty thick and it scares her to try it.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Silver92 said:


> Very interesting feedback! So far it looks like a not so enjoyable experience for the ladies.


Not a lady, but have experience with this. 

Here are the things I have noticed...

Some women don't want to ever even try it. Some women are ok with it some times. And some really, really like it a lot and want it all the time. 

Some women do not O from it ever. Some women O from it with clitoral stimulation, and those seem to have huge orgasms in this situation, which is probably why they like it as much as they do. 

And some women O from it with no C stimulation. These are usually highly orgasmic women that basically come from about anything, clit, PIV, GSpot, Anal, basically any stimulation in those areas.

And you have to remember that if you have a huge ****, Anal may be out even for the woman that really enjoy it. 

So it really is a mixed bag in this area...


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

Silver92 said:


> I would assume size does matter big time when it comes to anal? The thickness would play a bigger part then the length? In this case thicker would not be better Lol!! My spouse is curious about it but I am pretty thick and it scares her to try it.


I've personally never been with someone on the smaller end of the spectrum, nor someone abnormally large, so I can't really say if that's a factor for me. I don't honestly feel like it would be necessarily, so long as the size maintains the internal clitoral stimulation (I don't respond to external stimulation while being penetrated in any capacity). Like with any other form of sexual expression, there is no one size that fits all. Some people prefer girth to length, others the opposite. It's really about exploring and recognizing what kind of action creates the most satisfying stimulation. Hence why some people just enjoy the sensation of anilingus or even gently stroking the anal rim. Anal sex/play can be as varied as vaginal, and that includes the preferential approaches one can take. 

While the anus and rectum don't inherently stretch to accommodate the same way vaginal tissue does, it is designed to be able to work with varying sizes of cylindrical shapes. I think there is also a bit of a training involved for some people. I've heard of men and women who work their way up in sizes with various anal toys. Men's usually have the extra curvature for hitting the male g-spot which is located roughly two inches in and upwards toward the base of the penis (aka the prostate). 

Aside from using fingers, no one should ever explore with anything other than an anal-specific toy since objects can easily get "sucked" up in there and get stuck. Anal toys come with barriers on their ends to keep it safely secured outside the rim. I have heard some people say that it helps to start with digital exploration first, and then slowly work their way up to something larger, but it really depends on the person. And there is always just simply the chance that it works one time and then not another.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

I am pretty open sexually, I am down for experimentation, I have a fairly good understanding of biology.

And anal is an absolute no go for me. I have really tried hard to approach it with an open mind, desire, did all of the warm up and....

NOPE - OMG pain, and I wouldn't say I have ever successfully had anal sex. Way way waaaaaaay too much pain to even get there. I am over trying, it's now on my "no way" list.

The poster above talked about accidentally getting poked in the wrong hole? Well I have a similar experience, he was going at it, agressive rough (I like that sometimes  ), slipped... Hit my ass, and it was clamped so shut it hurt both of us! He both were stunned by pain (well and I was laughing, because I am weird and laugh when things really hurt). 

Any way, yeah no anal for me. One of my female friends loves it, it must feel good for some, for me, it's unbearable.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

My wife likes it as another dish on the buffet tray. My ex-Mrs Nice Lady asked for it as well. Our youth seem to love rimming so maybe anal play is getting more popular.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Me. I had a bad experience when younger. Since then I began rethinking at the request of my husband. A small amount of pain is worse when tension or fear is added. What pain remains when these factors are removed are only present for entry. After that, it can be great. It is, by no means, my main thing. Size does not matter to the degree I have experienced different sizes. Nothing truly gigantic though...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

ButWeAreStrange said:


> Aside from using fingers, no one should ever explore with anything other than an anal-specific toy since objects can easily get "sucked" up in there and get stuck.



Yes I wonder if they ever found that gerbil  that Richard Gere used to have? He went to a mystery farm and never returned 



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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

If you're worried about it hurting just know that different positions feel different for the woman, so if one position hurts try a different one.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Silver92 said:


> In a previous post on here about penis size the conversation turned towards anal sex. My question to the ladies that do anal, is it something you do because you enjoy it or is it just to please your hubby?? Just something I was always curious about. Does it actually feel good if penis size is correct and some good lube?


I love it, and do it more to please myself than my partner, it's just a big bonus that he also enjoys it. Lube (or spit) is definitely needed, as well as really good, open dialogue.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> If you're worried about it hurting just know that different positions feel different for the woman, so if one position hurts try a different one.


Different positions? It's the entry that is the kicker! All positions require entry. Some have no problem with entry, some love it, some find it excruciating.

What positions do you prefer to receive anal in?


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Silver92 said:


> I would assume size does matter big time when it comes to anal? The thickness would play a bigger part then the length? In this case thicker would not be better Lol!! My spouse is curious about it but I am pretty thick and it scares her to try it.


OMG yes. Like @ButWeAreStrange, I enjoy it quite a lot, but still prefer other ways of having sex. I've brought up the subject in more than 1 relationship by asking the man if he's ever had anal sex (the answer is usually something like "no, but I'm curious to try it"). Size plays a huge role in it though, at least for me. Not too long ago, I was intimate with someone on a regular basis who was huge, like way larger than average in terms of length and girth. He wanted to try it, and he's the only man I've been uncomfortable with in terms of anal. We didn't ever try it, not because I wasn't into it, but because of his size and the pain factor. The man I'm now in a relationship with is average sized, and had also never tried anal, but was up for the challenge! We've done it a couple times now, but never with me on top; I'd be scared my legs would give out. In the shower is always good and convenient!


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I shouldnthave said:


> Different positions? It's the entry that is the kicker! All positions require entry. Some have no problem with entry, some love it, some find it excruciating.
> 
> What positions do you prefer to receive anal in?


I'm a giver not a receiver for anal. Lol. But, I'm quite large and have done it with enough different women to know that some positions allow women to relax much better which helps with entry and other positions some women can't relax enough to allow entry. Each woman has her own preference.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

All I know is my SIL told my W the following, "If it does not feel good you are doing in wrong." My understanding is my SIL enjoyed it quite a bit. My W and I tried a few times. Just not all it is "cracked" up to be for us.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Silver92 said:


> In a previous post on here about penis size the conversation turned towards anal sex. My question to the ladies that do anal, is it something you do because you enjoy it or is it just to please your hubby??




I’ll answer for my wife (not on TAM) and for me - NO all the way around. Just not something my wife wants to explore nor is it something I desire. Each to his/her own. 


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

Ursula said:


> We've done it a couple times now, but never with me on top; I'd be scared my legs would give out. In the shower is always good and convenient!


I've tried it with me on top and various positions with me on the bottom, all of them seem more or less the same, though it can be really fun to do the cowgirl position. 

I definitely agree that the shower is the best spot, not just for convenience but also it's nice to be able to brace against the wall or bend to touch to the tub.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

Bananapeel said:


> I'm a giver not a receiver for anal. Lol. But, I'm quite large and have done it with enough different women to know that some positions allow women to relax much better which helps with entry and other positions some women can't relax enough to allow entry. Each woman has her own preference.


I like to flip that one on guys. Hey at least you all have prostate, makes more sense why anal sex would be pleasurable for you as a receiver.

But I admit I don't get it, because boy I tried to want it for a while and it was an absolute failure. Personally I don't understand why any women like stuff up their butts, but some love it, so it obviously feels good for them.

I just always find it funny when men try to explain what penetration feels like for a woman, especially when they have never been penetrated themselves.


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## ButWeAreStrange (Feb 2, 2018)

I shouldnthave said:


> I like to flip that one on guys. Hey at least you all have prostate, makes more sense why anal sex would be pleasurable for you as a receiver.
> 
> But I admit I don't get it, because boy I tried to want it for a while and it was an absolute failure. Personally I don't understand why any women like stuff up their butts, but some love it, so it obviously feels good for them.
> 
> I just always find it funny when men try to explain what penetration feels like for a woman, especially when they have never been penetrated themselves.


I think some women (myself included) have a more sensitive response to internal clitoral stimulation. A lot of people forget (or don't know) that the clitoris is a fairly big organ and is primarily internal. In my case, I can feel a different type of pressure-based pleasure against my clitoris through anal penetration. It's enough that I don't need any stimulation against the external glans. It's probably another of those anatomical differences that makes each pelvic landscape unique to the owner hahaha


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

I shouldnthave said:


> I like to flip that one on guys. Hey at least you all have prostate, makes more sense why anal sex would be pleasurable for you as a receiver.
> 
> Some guys like it too.
> 
> ...


I never tried to explain what it felt like, just that different positions work better than others, and that is completely true.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

I shouldnthave said:


> I like to flip that one on guys. Hey at least you all have prostate, makes more sense why anal sex would be pleasurable for you as a receiver.
> 
> But I admit I don't get it, because boy I tried to want it for a while and it was an absolute failure. Personally I don't understand why any women like stuff up their butts, but some love it, so it obviously feels good for them.
> 
> I just always find it funny when men try to explain what penetration feels like for a woman, especially when they have never been penetrated themselves.


ahem...lol I give and receive.


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## bluegirl87 (Apr 20, 2013)

Hi there. Just curious. I haven’t kissed my husband in probably 15 years at least, meaning French kiss. I miss it terribly but I’m completely grossed out by it now with him. First few years together it was good but then it felt messy and gross. I don’t think it’s healthy at all for our marriage and wondering what others think about deep sensual French kisses??


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

bluegirl87 said:


> Hi there. Just curious. I haven’t kissed my husband in probably 15 years at least, meaning French kiss. I miss it terribly but I’m completely grossed out by it now with him. First few years together it was good but then it felt messy and gross. I don’t think it’s healthy at all for our marriage and wondering what others think about deep sensual French kisses??




If you start a new thread of your own, I’m sure you will get plenty of feedback. 


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

bluegirl87 said:


> Hi there. Just curious. I haven’t kissed my husband in probably 15 years at least, meaning French kiss. I miss it terribly but I’m completely grossed out by it now with him. First few years together it was good but then it felt messy and gross. I don’t think it’s healthy at all for our marriage and wondering what others think about deep sensual French kisses??


Life without kissing?! I love kissing and certainly do not find it gross.

Do you have sex with your husband? Are you attracted to him?


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## Silver92 (Oct 28, 2016)

Almost seems like an even split on those for and against! The ones for it might be ahead by a little. I was curious on how common it is in relationships. We actually tried it Saturday night, kids were gone camping with the grandparents. We have talked about it a few times recently. We did everything right with lots of for play, good lube and some good sexual talk. She loved it, entry was a little rough but not enough to deter her from it. After I was in for a few minutes I could pull put and sink it right back in and she loved it. Very enjoyable experience for both.


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