# Posting about the "R" word!



## vict0ria_b (Mar 10, 2011)

Hi Everyone: 

Some of you may remember me, most of you most likely won't. I only posted a few times, but I did spend a lot of time on here reading everyone's stories, and trying to write down/ take notes on all the advice I could possibly find. 

If any of you would like to know my story I went back and found my first post. 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/22873-i-just-need-hear-people-my-situation.html


In the next couple of days I will post my full reconciliation story in the reconciliation sections of the site. It is going to take me a day or two because I would also like to post books I read, great post from this site, and other great sites I found while going through the worst 60 days of my life. Yes, it was exactly 60 days that I had to live with the reality that I may or may not be getting a divorce. 

I know some of you have been going through this for much, much longer and my heart feels for you so deeply. 

I am not trying to act like I have all the answers, but I do want to post what helped me. I spent those 60 days consumed with trying to figure out how to make things work when I had someone screaming at me that they did not want me anymore and they did not want our marriage anymore. 

I just want everyone in here to know that it is possible to make it work if they are telling you it can't. Sadly, and I hate to write this I know it will not work for everyone but all I am saying is don't go down without a fight if your marriage is TRULY TRULY TRULY what you want.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I do remember your story. I'm not on much and randomly you were the first post. 

I'm glad things are much better.

In my own story, I had another blowup that was even more recent. Be on guard against old issues not being fully resolved. Sometimes the bliss and renewed interest glosses over some issues until the eventually resurface. 

I highly suggest keeping the lines of communication VERY open, but I hope your in the clear.

Best of luck


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## vict0ria_b (Mar 10, 2011)

Anx! I am so glad to see that you are still around these threads. Thank you! I owe you that.... 

You really gave me great advice through post and your story. When ever I felt like giving up I would think of you and remember that it is possible to make it work. 

Oh man I sound like a Halmark card right now! But I know if anyone understand how emotionally trying all of this can be its you. 


I want to get caught up on your story, but I am glad to hear you are not on here much. Must mean things are still going well. 

I don't know if we will have any issues resurface any time soon. It has only been a month so we are still on a "high", and he does deploy in 2 weeks so that will be another thing that works in my advantage. 

Just remember to not let it get back to "that" point. I think we are much wiser when it comes to how to handle issues in our marriage now. I hope you have many more happy years with your wife!


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I wish that were true. We had another blow up and thats why I can to ask you to keep your guard up.

We had moved past many of our issues, but a big one hiding underneath it all came back.

I found my faith again in a big way, am on my knees like it was going out of style, and doing everything I can to fix this.

She moved back in and we had a GREAT 3 months. Everything I was being told was that things were great, and from what I've recently understood is that she thought it was too. 

I think we will get past this and if we do it'll be a HUGE step worth all the work.

Best of Luck


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## vict0ria_b (Mar 10, 2011)

Aw, 

I my so sorry I misread some of that. I thought you had already moved past. So explain it to me.. If you thought everything was great and she thought everything what great what ignited the fire? 

Is she still in the house with you? Don't lose hope, Anx. You have all the tools and knowledge you need to make this work. Thank you for the advice, my guard is very much still up. Just because I know if I let it down any time soon I will fall back into my old ways. I haven't had enough time in IC and implementing my new habits for them to become second nature to me yet. 

I think that it is wonderful that you have found your faith again. Ask for guidance and help staying strong during all of this. Make sure that you take the time to implement everything that you have learned. 

I wish you well, and if you need to talk you know where to find me.


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