# Low T questions, anyone with experience?



## Rlc307 (Jan 14, 2018)

Hello! 
I posted a thread probably 6 months ago, venting about my husband's lack of want for sex and dates, ect. Things have really taken a positive turn for the most part. Although he's been super busy with the funeral home and school, he has made it a point to ask me to join him on little work "adventures" so we get some nice time to ourselves. Honestly it's been really fun. Even though it's work related, it's nice to take short day trips and just entertain eachother. He is excited about this career path and loves opening my eyes to it as much as possible. Just wanted to provide an update on that.
With all of that said he finally made a doctor's appointment and had a much needed physical and lab work done and come to find out his testosterone is actually a little low. He was low on Zinc, had a vitamin D deficiency and elevated cholesterol. Doctor told him to double up on zinc and vitamin D supplements for the first month, work out, eat right and lose about 40 pounds. If that doesn't raise his testosterone naturally, then he can look into supplementing it. And so far he's already dropped 20 pounds on this plan which is great! He is really trying. But.....there hasn't been much improvement on his appetite yet. However, he has been staying hard for a bit longer so that is an improvement.
I am not so much being impatient and expecting results right away but I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this. This absolutely had to effect his confidence and he could also go soft just out of performance anxiety, or not initiate. As a partner what is the best approach to handle the situation and try to boost his confidence? I read about this and read this this creates a hurdle with couples for one because the woman usually freaks out and thinks she is the problem (and I did this) but I have really tried my best not to make this about myself after getting an understanding of the issue.
What worked for you and although I know everyone is different, I am curious how long this can take to be resolved. He may end up getting the shots and I'm wondering if they effect anyone negatively. How did you spouse react and what did they do as a positive impact? I'm not entirely sure what to expect but he does go back to the doctor next month.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I haven’t dealt with this but if it were me, I’d just try to be in the moment during sex. Let him know you’re into it and enjoying it. When things go well be sincere in your compliments.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

First off, damage control. Have you had a talk with him and told him that you are sorry you freaked out on him and made it all about you and that you have done lots of reading and now realize that was a mistake? 

I’ve been with guys who have issues sometimes but we just treated it like a non issue and focused on other things until he got his mojo back. With each of them, I just worked with him to find out what helps him stay hard or what helps him come back to life. This may include me talking dirty to him or just being very sexual toward him or around him (like a peep show or letting him watch me touch myself if that helped). Teasing and working on getting his mind turned on without pressure to perform. Just experiencing being in a sexual mood together without needing him to jump me right that moment. Sometimes we would just make out and be sexy on each other and then go on to other things. Then he would be thinking about it later and spring to life.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

notmyjamie said:


> be sincere in your compliments.


I believe this is sound advice, and if you can promote genuine and enthusiastic remarks and advances. I would hope your H would get the needed affirmation he may need because of his personal afflictions. 

Or in other words be all that you can be and see if this can bring him along with you to a new phase of maritial companionship.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Rlc307 said:


> Hello!
> I am not so much being impatient and expecting results right away but I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this. This absolutely had to effect his confidence and he could also go soft just out of performance anxiety, or not initiate. As a partner what is the best approach to handle the situation and try to boost his confidence? I read about this and read this this creates a hurdle with couples for one because the woman usually freaks out and thinks she is the problem (and I did this) but I have really tried my best not to make this about myself after getting an understanding of the issue.
> What worked for you and although I know everyone is different, I am curious how long this can take to be resolved. He may end up getting the shots and I'm wondering if they effect anyone negatively. How did you spouse react and what did they do as a positive impact? I'm not entirely sure what to expect but he does go back to the doctor next month.


I don't remember the specifics of the prior post, but I know I get rather extraordinarily turned on, in a visible manner, when giving my wife oral. Especially if she responds with an o. It might be the same response if she brought herself to an o in front of me, don't know since it's never been in her playbook. But this seems kind of obvious so my apologies if it's just a been there, done that type of thing. 

I'd also avoid gummy worms as snacks. A bit too suggestive in the wrong way. Which brings up... humor. Can he laugh at himself? Self-deprecating humor is a good way of forgiving ones own shortcomings. Taking the pressure off.


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## Rlc307 (Jan 14, 2018)

Faithful Wife said:


> First off, damage control. Have you had a talk with him and told him that you are sorry you freaked out on him and made it all about you and that you have done lots of reading and now realize that was a mistake?
> 
> I’ve been with guys who have issues sometimes but we just treated it like a non issue and focused on other things until he got his mojo back. With each of them, I just worked with him to find out what helps him stay hard or what helps him come back to life. This may include me talking dirty to him or just being very sexual toward him or around him (like a peep show or letting him watch me touch myself if that helped). Teasing and working on getting his mind turned on without pressure to perform. Just experiencing being in a sexual mood together without needing him to jump me right that moment. Sometimes we would just make out and be sexy on each other and then go on to other things. Then he would be thinking about it later and spring to life.


I have....and we have had numerous conversations about it. And I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but we are in our 30s. This is the first time I had ever experienced this kind of thing at 32...I had always been ignorant to think this was something that we have to deal with 20 years from now. Wrong LOL! Mix that with my random depression over my body issues and I was just kind of a mess. But this isn't about me and I've got to learn to live with it without pressure on him. It is a part of life. You provided some great comments and I appreciate your input!


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## Rlc307 (Jan 14, 2018)

Casual Observer said:


> I'd also avoid gummy worms as snacks. A bit too suggestive in the wrong way. Which brings up... humor. Can he laugh at himself? Self-deprecating humor is a good way of forgiving ones own shortcomings. Taking the pressure off.


Thank you for your comment, Casual. Yes he can laugh at himself. He usually makes a joke about himself just about daily.
Don't worry about the gummy worms😂


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## FastNFurious (Jan 23, 2020)

You mentioned his Testosterone numbers were a bit low. Do you have the actual bloodwork results WITH the ranges they tested in? If he goes on TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy) there are lots of pros and cons. Will he be self administering the injections? if so, his doctor will likely set it up for a weekly injection which isn't the best option. The reason is he will have peaks and valleys in his hormones. At a minimum have him split it every 3.5 days just cut the dosage in half. There are other issues with TRT as Test will convert to Estrogen and can cause other issues. The key is to be able to keep the Test levels in the high normal range without having to take an Estrogen blocker. Splitting the injection biweekly will help with this.

Pros: Sex drive will go thru the roof at about the 2 week mark. He prob. won't be able to control it. Cons: like anything, this will tape off. TRT can be a complete life changing protocol but it is also a pain in the buttox


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## Rlc307 (Jan 14, 2018)

FastNFurious said:


> You mentioned his Testosterone numbers were a bit low. Do you have the actual bloodwork results WITH the ranges they tested in? If he goes on TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy) there are lots of pros and cons. Will he be self administering the injections? if so, his doctor will likely set it up for a weekly injection which isn't the best option. The reason is he will have peaks and valleys in his hormones. At a minimum have him split it every 3.5 days just cut the dosage in half. There are other issues with TRT as Test will convert to Estrogen and can cause other issues. The key is to be able to keep the Test levels in the high normal range without having to take an Estrogen blocker. Splitting the injection biweekly will help with this.
> 
> Pros: Sex drive will go thru the roof at about the 2 week mark. He prob. won't be able to control it. Cons: like anything, this will tape off. TRT can be a complete life changing protocol but it is also a pain in the buttox


Wow that is some seriously great information and I really appreciate it! I don't have a clue at the moment what the next step is. I do not know what the level was with the blood panel. His doctor really wanted him to try doing this all naturally to see if the weightloss and supplements would solve it before any aid. We won't find anything out until next month.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

FastNFurious said:


> TRT can be a complete life changing protocol but it is also a pain in the buttox


There are alternatives. A pellet can be inserted in the hip area that continuously provides testosterone avoiding the ups and downs of an injection. An estrogen blocker may be needed by some people, as you say. These last about 6 months before a replacement is needed - better than weekly injections! It does require a small incision, and you must avoid strenuous activity for a couple of days until this heals, else the pellet could come out. ClomiPHENE Citrate is a drug for female fertility that can be taken a couple of times a week to boost testosterone in men. Most insurance won't cover it, but it's runs $30 to $90 a month, I'm told. One of my doctors told me about it, and he uses it himself.


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## Lake life (Nov 18, 2019)

Rlc , there is a long running thread started by Ellis Redding about TRT with a lot of good info. 
You might want to check it out. 
I’m on TRT and it’s tough.
It’s no magic bullet for the problem.
A few things I have learned-

Everyone is different.
Try everything you can first and only do TRT as a last resort .
Most family doctors and Urologist are not properly trained to treat Low T. 
Lab work to stay on top of the levels is very expensive and must be done monthly at first.
TRT affects my Thyroid, now I’m on Thyroid meds. 
TRT does not work well for everyone. 
Make sure you rule out heart/ circulation problems too. 
Good luck!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

FastNFurious said:


> You mentioned his Testosterone numbers were a bit low. Do you have the actual bloodwork results WITH the ranges they tested in? If he goes on TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy) there are lots of pros and cons. Will he be self administering the injections? if so, his doctor will likely set it up for a weekly injection which isn't the best option. The reason is he will have peaks and valleys in his hormones. At a minimum have him split it every 3.5 days just cut the dosage in half. There are other issues with TRT as Test will convert to Estrogen and can cause other issues. The key is to be able to keep the Test levels in the high normal range without having to take an Estrogen blocker. Splitting the injection biweekly will help with this.
> 
> Pros: Sex drive will go thru the roof at about the 2 week mark. He prob. won't be able to control it. Cons: like anything, this will tape off. TRT can be a complete life changing protocol but it is also a pain in the buttox


To add to this, was the doctor a general practitioner or was it a specialist like a urologist or an endocrinologist?

Your GP is no good at determining what your TLvl should be.
That should be taken care of by a specialist.

If he hasn't, he needs to get to a specialist who will work with him about what he needs to do, what the treatments are and what the pros and cons are/will be.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Rlc307 said:


> Hello!
> ...... With all of that said he finally made a doctor's appointment and had a much needed physical and lab work done and come to find out *his testosterone is actually a little low.* He was *low on Zinc, had a vitamin D* deficiency and *elevated cholesterol*. Doctor told him to double up on zinc and vitamin D supplements for the first month, work out, eat right and l*ose about 40 pounds*. If that doesn't raise his testosterone naturally, then he can look into supplementing it. And so far he's already dropped 20 pounds on this plan which is great! He is really trying. But.....there hasn't been much improvement on his appetite yet. However, *he has been staying hard for a bit longer* so that is an improvement.
> I am not so much being impatient and expecting results right away but I am just curious if anyone else has gone through this. This absolutely had to effect his confidence and he could also go soft just out of performance anxiety, or not initiate. As a partner what is the best approach to handle the situation and try to boost his confidence? I read about this and read this this creates a hurdle with couples for one because the woman usually freaks out and thinks she is the problem (and I did this) but I have really tried my best not to make this about myself after getting an understanding of the issue.
> What worked for you and although I know everyone is different, I am curious how long this can take to be resolved. He may end up getting the shots and I'm wondering if they effect anyone negatively. How did you spouse react and what did they do as a positive impact? I'm not entirely sure what to expect but he does go back to the doctor next month.


OK perhaps this will be TMI.

I am in my 70's. I have low T. I take a topically applied T cream. there are side effects to HRT. The most obvious is shrinkage of testicles (which means that after a year or so of HRT, you can't go back to not taking HRT). Yes, the body has the equivalent to a thermostat. When your body senses more T is present that it feels you should have, it tends to shut down the testicles' T production. That means that for the first year or so of starting HRT you need to check your T levels often and adjust the dosage. No other long term effects and yes sex is much better, although there was a time that my wife would have preferred me to have no sex drive, when she had no sex drive. But even with low T, I still wanted sex.

One of the things most folks don't know is that low T is both part of the normal aging process (T levels decline with age) and it is accentuated by belly fat (beer belly). Belly fat can transform Testosterone into estrogen. So loosing weight is a very good thing and can help a lot. With higher T levels you can build muscle that will help you burn fat so it is a win-win.

Now as to your husband's test results. He should be checked for something called metabolic syndrome. It is a pre-type 2 diabetes thing. 

Good luck.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Young at Heart said:


> OK perhaps this will be TMI.
> 
> I am in my 70's. I have low T. I take a topically applied T cream. there are side effects to HRT. The most obvious is shrinkage of testicles (which means that after a year or so of HRT, you can't go back to not taking HRT). Yes, the body has the equivalent to a thermostat. *When your body senses more T is present that it feels you should have, it tends to shut down the testicles' T production.* That means that for the first year or so of starting HRT you need to check your T levels often and adjust the dosage. No other long term effects and yes sex is much better, although there was a time that my wife would have preferred me to have no sex drive, when she had no sex drive. But even with low T, I still wanted sex.
> 
> ...


First bolded quote: I was on the same cream, I stopped after I found out about this. There is also evidence that long term natural T production can be affected by supplementation. Also getting tested and renewing the 'script every three months was a pain in the ass.

Second bolded quote: Indeed. Free weights and chopping wood with an axe are natural T boosters also.

Great post, [email protected]


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

OnTheFly said:


> First bolded quote: I was on the same cream, I stopped after I found out about this. There is also evidence that long term natural T production can be affected by supplementation. Also getting tested and renewing the 'script every three months was a pain in the ass.
> 
> Second bolded quote: Indeed. Free weights and chopping wood with an axe are natural T boosters also.
> 
> Great post, [email protected]


It's super frustrating....for me, I was at 2/3 of average while I was eating all the right things, lifting heavy etc. Let my diet slip, and an injury put an end to heavy weights for now. Last test was about 1/3 of the average for my age. Booked at an endo in a few months.


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