# I don't ever have guys stare at me.



## StarGirl2 (Jul 4, 2018)

I don't ever have guys stare at me.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

The current climate discourages this. Sorry, you're just collateral damage.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Do you really think a marriage site is the best place for you to get insight into your issues?


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

Why do you need validation from outside sources? @StarGirl2


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

StarGirl2 you keep posting one-line posts, including some PMs. You never respond to comments. What are you looking for?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

There is a point in a girl's life when she realizes the power she has over men with her sexuality and most learn to use it to attract men but are not looking for anything but knowing guys find them attractive. It is a validation that men find you attractive and there is nothing wrong for seeking it. Everyone, whether it be by the amount of their paycheck, position in their company, Trophies, awards, etc. is being validated. So don't let anyone make you feel bad about needing validation at least a few times in your life. It is good to be recognized. It is no less shallow to want to be validated for your looks than for a guy wanting to be validated for throwing a football. Guys want girls to look at them too.

I used to stay in the background until I started playing sports and was good at it. That made me attractive to girls and guys wanted to hang out with me. That made me feel very good and once validation is received, you no longer need it but in some point of all of our lives, we need validation at least once because it does matter how others view you. It matters all the time on job interviews and the friends you make. Wanting it for how you look is just another aspect of your life that needs validation and nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive. I was a good looking guy and it brought me girls, good jobs and money. It opened doors for me. It is no secret that more attractive people get more breaks and attention than others. May not be fair but it is genetic to view attractive people as more healthy and able to do the job.

At one time all of my clients were in the fashion industry, including Victoria's Secret. I saw them when they wore no makeup, had their hair undone and wore beat up old clothes. Most I would not give a look at if I saw them on the street. There is no secret to getting guys to notice you. I think that is what you really mean, notice, not stare. Staring is creepy. My wife knows that she can get guys to stare at her if she shows cleavage, but does not like that kind of attention. She knows that guys find any women who looks like a sure thing, attractive. Not many guys will turn down a willing girl no matter what she looks like. We are pigs. 

My wife was bland when I met her. I picked out clothes for her, sent her to my hair stylist and hired a cosmetologist to teach her to use makeup for a natural look. After all of this she started to get looked at every time we were among people. Guys would look at her all the time while girls looked at me, or so I thought. It was not until I walked behind my wife once to look in a store window did I notice that the girls were staring at my wife, not me. We did not know she is bisexual back then and even at the age of 66, women still turn their heads to look at her. She is a chick magnet as well as a guy magnet. It is just a matter of learning how to make yourself appealing to men. You can learn this online or as I often told my wife, just buy all the clothes on the mannequin in the store because someone who knows fashion dressed that mannequin. Get a good hair stylist and learn how to use makeup judiciously. You do not want to look like a sure thing to men. You just want to be noticed as an attractive woman. I still like when women look at me and I see nothing wrong with that. We all feel better about ourselves when we are noticed for our skills, intelligence and fashion sense as well as how we look. It is well known that attractive people have it easier in life. It is a genetic thing and I have seen it in the business world for many decades. A tall good looking salesman will sell more than one who is short and average looking. Same goes for women too. Take a look at Pharmaceutical Sales women. They are hired for their looks. I knew a few since my friend's wife is one and her co-workers are former Miss this or that winners. Ever see a rich guy with an ugly woman. What we want the world to be like is one thing. What it is, is what we have to deal with now. 

Anyway, good luck. I used to dress one way and then changed my style of hair and clothes and all of a sudden I was a hottie that girls wanted to date and I swear that I never viewed myself as a hot guy and only recently hearing it from my wife, her friends and ex girlfriends who found me on Facebook, did I learn this. If it is important for guys to notice you, not stare like you are a piece of meat, look at what other girls are wearing for clues or develop your own style by trial and error. I try to smile at all women I come across to make them feel good. It does not cost me anything to do so and it does not matter how they look. They all want to be viewed as someone men are interested in. A smile is free and can make a person's day.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Why does that bother you?


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## Oceania (Jul 12, 2018)

Nice


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

StarGirl2 said:


> I don't ever have guys stare at me.




Why would you want them to stare at you ? Ugh


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Go to the gym, that's all guys do is stare at women😜


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

I remember being a young girl (don't know your age, but you are probably a teenager) and feeling very uncomfortable when a guy stares at me. Maybe I'm just weird.


Why would you crave guys staring at you when you're not a showpiece?!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Do you want guys to stare at you?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

@StarGirl2, why do YOU think that guys aren't checking you out?
If you can list reasons, then perhaps there are folks who can help point out things to help. Vinnydee has some really good points about maybe updating your look. There may be other things that can be pointed out to help you, but you need to be a bit more verbose for us to be able to get a sense of how to do that.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

@StarGirl2 has posted a total of 5 sentences across 5 new threads. She has gotten thousands of thoughtful words in response but never followed up. I believe she may be writing a term paper about Forums and Forum Members, but I doubt she is looking to make a connection with anyone here and I even doubt she truly wants help. She may be a 12 yo boy, but she is not an active participant in any discussion.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Y'know, if you really think about it, any guy you don't know who blatantly stares at you is probably one you should avoid.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

If she is of age, and posts a photo here, we could stare at her all day long and give her constructive critisism about her hair / clothes / makeup.


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> If she is of age, and posts a photo here, we could stare at her all day long and give her constructive critisism about her hair / clothes / makeup.


Funny reply, but I doubt this will solve her "problem".


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Well, if her problem is that -
*She wants young men to notice her-
*She thinks that getting young men to notice her is more important than having a job (see her thread "Why do my parents and other people talk to me about getting a job but not a boyfriend?" ) -
*She doesn't understand why men aren't more obviously attracted to her-

Then a simple photo (her at work, library, whatever) could point her in a direction of change in dress, hair, etc.. If that is her goal. A reply of "those colors are all wrong for you" or a simple "you are hideous" may help straighten out this dillema.

MODS- I am not actually trying to get anyone (including this young lady) to post any actual pics of themselves. I was just making conversation. I think this person just likes starting threads.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Thread is closed because StarGirl2 has not posted on this thread for over a week.


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