# Should I go through with the divorce?



## SaraTall65 (Feb 25, 2011)

Things that I don't like about our marriage:
He is afraid to leave the house so I go everywhere alone; grocery shopping, baby's doctor appointments,etc. We spend NO quality time together whatsoever. The last time we did anything together was when we went to a haunted house 4 years ago. Even before the baby was born, we never did anything together. He tries to deny this or blame it on the baby, but other people we know have commented about us never having a life.
He dosen't like to be around people so he won't let anyone in the house except my mom or sister. If someone has to come in, like the cable guy, he will hide in the next room.
He is on the computer all day, everyday, as soon as he gets up until he goes to bed. He plays an online game. A few years ago he said he'd quit playing it because he would ignore everything else, but he always picks it back up.
Starting after about our 2nd year together we didn't have sex very often. Maybe once a month or so.
He hasen't worked in a couple years and when asked why makes excuses or blames me since I work 2-3 days per week and used the only car. It's embarassing when people ask, "does he have a job yet?" We have been flat broke for the past year living off my income.
We started dating when I was 15 and he moved in with me a few months later. We've been living together ever since. I am now 25. I feel like I never had the chance to experience my youth or even have a life.
I cheated on him and broke up with him after we'd been together for 6 years. We got back together after a week and got married. 3 years after we got married (6 months ago) I cheated on him again. This time I feel no remorse and have continued with the affair for 5 months. 

Good things:
He watches our daughter and cleans the house while I'm at work.


I feel like I love him in a way, but then again, if I loved him at all would I be cheating? I am afraid of being alone so that is why I think I'm scared to go through with the divorce. Our car broke down so we had to wait a few months to get our taxes and car fixed before we could file. I have been looking forward to this, but now that the time is here I am nervous and unsure. I do not want to go to marriage counseling or work on the marriage yet I am afriad to end it. I am not leaving him for the other man as the person I'm involved with is too old for me and married. (I know, I shouldn't be involved with him.)
Why have I been so unsure even though I don't want to work on it? Because I've known him a long time and I'm comfortable with him? Why can't I feel 100 % sure of my decision? I am depressed and want this to be over with.


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## SaraTall65 (Feb 25, 2011)

Maybe I just have low sefl esteem and thats why my desicon has been such a struggle


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Which Marriages Are Worth Saving?
How To Find Affordable Marriage Counseling

It might be salvageable if you want to make it work. Men do change and realize that they have been jerks. I did, but I wasn't as bad as your husband. Unless your husband really changes for the better at least separate.


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