# have you ever cheated on your husband or wife?



## Shell22 (Dec 9, 2008)

Just a question....

Are you male or female?

Have you ever cheated on your spouse?

If so....Why???

Thanks


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Male age 51, no never. Married 22 years, together 25.


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

Male, no, Married 3 years, together 6


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2009)

Male (gay), no never cheated. Age 27, 9 year relationship (3 of them married and sexually active).

I'd like to think I'd never cheat, but at the end of the day you never really know. I'm 99% sure I won't though.


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

no. Male age 40. Together 7, married 6

** Side note, though... Wife has. Age 32 Financial/job/home stress.**


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

male. no. was married for 20 years (divorced now 10+ years), been with current GF 3 years (hope to marry her!  ).


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## ncreb24 (Jan 7, 2009)

Male, 40 Married 3 years together for 12. I have never cheated on her physically with someone else, however, A couple of years ago I was talking with an old female friend on the net inappropriately and I considered it an affair of the heart. I feel I need to count that due to my faith and be accountable. There was trouble with communication in our marriage at the time and she was a friend from the past and we were both venting about problems in our relationships. HOWEVER there is never a reason to cheat in my opinion and that is why I feel I have to be accountable for this.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Female, 39. Married 15 years, together 23. Never cheated or even considered it. As a side note he did last summer. The damage can never be completely undone. Reason...who knows probably midlife crisis. He changed for awhile, maybe stress, and definately lack of communication. Reconciling now.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Female married 20+ years been together a long time...
He cheated 1 time that know about, still to this day I feel in my gut thier was more.
The one I know about was a killer, I found out from a Doctors visit while I was with our 3 child...I think you know where I'm going with this...
At the same time, someone from his work was calling me to let me know what a great guy I had...humm is that girl 2 or girl 1? I will never really know.
I found on the computer that he had joined a Adult Friend Finder and wasemailing a few ladys of the night about meeting early in the morning..(the same time he would go to the gym) I thought please...what women is going to get up at 4am, put on makeup and get ready for sex. Any way I left it go to see where it was going...I started to guess his passoword and I did...I found the emails that he wrote to them, the photos he posted, both with our bikes, dog, and house, oh yes even a picture of his man parts...and the membership to the adult pages...That was charged to the card..I confronted him on the issue at hand...I walked outside and said "I'm done" He was what? Whats wrong? I told him and all he could say is OMG I was just playing on the internet, I never ment anyone, I swear....I feel he didn't met anyone, because they didn't respond back. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm MUCH better looking then any of the women he was talking to...they where heaver and looked much older then me...

He said that it was just fun and it didn;t mean anything, and had no idea why I was so upset...after all he didn't met any of them.

I told him again I was done, and in my heart I was. I asked what would you have done if that was me? He said "it's ok as long as you don't met them" Go figuire that would be his answer.

5 week later I found another email...he was telling her how f-ing hot she was and if she wanted to met...again no responce that I know about.
At this point of my marriage, I decided he could do what ever he wants, I just don't care...Well as that went on, we got along just fine. Of course we would, I never said a word about anything, just lived in my own world with my kids...I did make one big change:
I started to work out, care more about myself and get stronger as a women.
He didn't know what to think...except that wow My wife is HOT... and as men started to really pay attention to me, he decided I was the love of his life...now if you ask him, he would say thats not true..You have always been the love of my life...

Well last fall I ws playing a chat game (Yoville) Loved that game...it was so fun just waisting my time away...till one night, he was watching TV, feet up and no idea I was even in the room...You know we was getting along so good.. I ran across a guy, who was just in the same place (a beach setting) he asked where I was from? I told him...no harm...He was far away from me...He asked me to come back to his place...lol even in the computer world...any way I said to him "not even in the Virtural World" He was married and I told him so was I... He asked me to be his friend and I said ok..New to the game I didn't realize that he could see when I was online by this, but any way..that was it...until later. 
I kept seeing him...one day I said hey are you following me...he said yes...I just lol and went on my way...
Well we started talking on line and found out that we like the same music, tv, and general things in life. His wife had been alot like my husband and we connected on that level of damn what the f....
It didn't take long before our conversation became something I was looking forward to everynight. I found myself smiling when I was talking to him...and one night he confessed the same to me...and with that being said, I guess our friendship becdame more. I felt so bad that confessed to my husband, something that I would not do again....
He was very understanding and very hurt that I would do something like this...Did I mention that we only talked on the computer....I had told my friend that I was going to tell my husband and that I wouldn't be back on the game. His response was good..." I understand and I will try to be a better husband to my wife, I haven't been the best for her. But I wont say goodbye, take care" Of course my husband wouldn't let me back on the computer for a spell, and he was very hurt, as he should have been. It was so wrong of me to do that, part of me felt, well hell as long as I don't met him, then it's ok...famous words right and it opened his eyes to how I felt all those times.
I didn't talk to MR. F for 6 weeks, then one day I went to my old account and he had left a few msg...1 made me cry, so I email back and started a new account just for his msg. Well this started a whole other chapter...except this time it was much worse and harder to get thru.

I wasn't trying to have my cake and eat it too...I just wasn't happy and need the friend I had found in him. We decided that we both wanted to stay in our marriage and wanted to still talk to each other. I think we just found something to keep our minds off of any sadness we had.
We secretly talked for a few months, then my hubby started to think I was on the computer to much and well he found out about my account... He asked me if I was tlaking to someone..I said yes...he said it's not Mr. F again is it...and I said yes...wow was I in trouble, he had never hit me or called e filthy names before that night. I deserved it, but not really...he had done 100 times worse and I was to just get over it...
He gave me 3 days to make up my mind on what I wanted...3 days? I askd...He said we've been married a long time, it shouldn't take more then 3 days...
To tell you the truth, I felt so bad...I didn't want to hurt him or Mrs F I just liked talking to Mr.F He filled the void I had and Idid the same for him..I was lonely and wanted the attention he gave me, he wanted someone to listen to his problems and just be their when he had a bad day...
I often thought if I was that understanding with my husband, how much better would my relationship be? But really folks, it wsn't that we had a bad relationship, it was just he had hurt me to mny times and I was stone cold to the tought of it happening again...PERIOD!
He put spy ware on my computer and will probley get upset that I'm on here spilling the beans so to say, But this putting it on paper helps me to cope with what I did...
He tells me that what I did was worse then anything he ever did because mine was a affair....I really don't see it as that...but he does. And to his defense, Mr. F and I did cross the line of friendship, buy confiding in each other about our relationships...I did tell him I loved him, and he told me the same...he also told me that we would met someday...so I guess thats the part that hurt my husband the most. We never ment in person, just on line. We did talk one time on the phone 10 min at the most...and decided that was a bad idea...neither one of us was willing to leave our marriage....and we both knew that and agreed that we just like having each other to talk to... right or wrong....
So I guess what I'm saying is My husband called it a full affair, but I don't...

Can I save my marriage? I don't know...He has been wonderful to me and has been the husband that every women would like to have, but why did it take Mr. F to make him this way, and has their been to much between us to get over it... If he treated me that way 8 years ago, we would have been one hell of a married couple...

I never wanted to hurt my dear husband, I just...well I'm still not sure...I only know that it's not in me to hurt him or my family...

I told my mom and my sister about the whole thing ( I had to he was going to, in fact he already called my sister)...thinking they would be upset with me...well to my suprise, they weren't..they were exactly the oppisite...They both told me to do what makes me happy....Can you believe that? My hubby couldn't... and neither could I....

Well I haven't talked to Mr. F since and I have took up some other hobbies online...no chat rooms and no games....

So tell me is this what you would call a affair, I guess it depends on the person reading this...

Hubby if you see this...I never ment to hurt you...


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Shell22 said:


> Just a question....
> 
> Are you male or female?
> 
> ...



Female

Never cheated on spouse (24 years of marriage)

He has never cheated on me.

Why? Marriage is a vow. We are both fiercely loyal.


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

Male, 40, married for 9 years in October. Never cheated, but wife is in emotional affair.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

no1.daddy2kids said:


> Male, 40, married for 9 years in October. Never cheated, but wife is in emotional affair.


How do you know? and does she know you know?


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Just A Wife:

I am not here to be judgemental. Because every person on this board is looking for answers and support. What I am doing is trying to make you understand something. In doing so, I am using your own words.

"It didn't take long before our conversation became something I was looking forward to everynight. I found myself smiling when I was talking to him...and one night he confessed the same to me...and with that being said, I guess our friendship becdame more"

That was the beginning of YOUR emotional affair. If you "looked forward to" etc. This was the beginning.

"I didn't talk to MR. F for 6 weeks, then one day I went to my old account and he had left a few msg...1 made me cry, so I email back and started a new account just for his msg. Well this started a whole other chapter...except this time it was much worse and harder to get thru."

Obviously you "felt" for Mr. F. - continuation of Emotional Affair, herafter, "EA"

"...I just wasn't happy and need the friend I had found in him."

Again continuation of EA.

"I just liked talking to Mr.F He filled the void I had and Idid the same for him..I was lonely and wanted the attention he gave me, he wanted someone to listen to his problems and just be their when he had a bad day..."

Again continuation of EA!


"I often thought if I was that understanding with my husband, how much better would my relationship be? But really folks, it wsn't that we had a bad relationship, it was just he had hurt me to mny times and I was stone cold to the tought of it happening again...PERIOD!"

Still continuing with EA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I really don't see it as that...but he does. And to his defense, Mr. F and I did cross the line of friendship, buy confiding in each other about our relationships...I did tell him I loved him, and he told me the same...he also told me that we would met someday...so I guess thats the part that hurt my husband the most. We never ment in person, just on line. We did talk one time on the phone 10 min at the most...and decided that was a bad idea...neither one of us was willing to leave our marriage....and we both knew that and agreed that we just like having each other to talk to... right or wrong....

I'M SORRY TELLING SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU LOVE THEM IS NOT AN AFFAIR. WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING BECAUSE I WANT SOME OF THAT. It isn't that good ol' Jamaican is it? Just kidding about that.


So I guess what I'm saying is My husband called it a full affair, but I don't...

YES IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWN UP TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So tell me is this what you would call a affair, I guess it depends on the person reading this...


SEE ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"He tells me that what I did was worse then anything he ever did because mine was a affair...."

NOW I COME TO THE NONJUDGEMENTAL PART JUSTAWIFE. I don't know which was worse by either of you. I don't think it really matters. Although you say it was a "good relationship" yada, yada, yada. It obviously hasn't been for either of you. If it were, neither of you would have been doing what you were. And I'm not saying either of you is at fault. It takes TWO to tango --- both play a part. There is something that you are missing from him and something he is missing from you. I don't believe he was having an affair, BUT NEVER WOULD I DO THAT TO MY WIFE.

Now I've never cheated in my life even with girlfriends. (Side note: only consider someone a gf if I was dating them exclusively and she knew that -------- not talking about totally single and hook ups). 

But there are issues here. Can the marriage be saved? That is really up to YOU and HIM. My suggestion is for the both of you to seek counseling seperately and together (in my opinion with preferably the same counselor).

That is my 2 cents. Don't try to justify ---- it is what it is.
"


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Sorry to Justawife or anyone else looking at this post. I didn't ctch a HUGE TYPO. THE SECTION BELOW NEEDS TO BE CHANGED BY THE DELETION OF THE WORD """""""""""NOT"""""""""""""""""""

THIS WAS AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.

I'M SORRY TELLING SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU LOVE THEM IS AN AFFAIR. WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING BECAUSE I WANT SOME OF THAT. It isn't that good ol' Jamaican is it? Just kidding about that.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Feelingalone said:


> Just A Wife:
> 
> I am not here to be judgemental. Because every person on this board is looking for answers and support. What I am doing is trying to make you understand something. In doing so, I am using your own words.
> 
> ...


You gave me alot to think about and I thank you..I think your right, and I'm not ready to go thier yet...But I'm working on it...


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

I think vows of marriage have an internal "meaning" that you will do your _best_ in your marriage to sustain the relationship BECAUSE you love someone deeply.

No one is BORN with perfection. We work our way towards - hopefully being MORE perfect that flawed. 

I think affairs happen in marriage more often than not. 

I think marriage is more about understanding an affair and why it happed and not so much about right and wrong. It is more about fixing, repairing and moving on into a deeper state of marriage and partnership - that state which insures an affair by either will not happen - again.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Sandy55,

I agree that no one is born with perfection. Hell, that is part of my problem --- tyring to be perfect --- the perfect husband, the perfect person, etc. Being the best at what every I do. Dam hard work and not real. Now I'd settle for just being real.

But I disagree about marriage being "more about understanding an affair and why it happed and not so much about right and wrong".

It is wrong to have an affiar. PERIOD!!!. BUT, life is about fixing, reparing and moving on into a deeper life --------- THAT I AGREE WITH.

I've been living my life to try to be perfect and I lost myself. Caused my w to do things I'm sure she never envisioned with me, but who knows. All we as individuals can do is LEARN, GROW, and HOPE that we can contribute tot he world around us.


JUSTAWIFE:


Don't wait to go there. Deal with it. If you wait then your H won't. Again I don't know which was worse, but realizing you did something wrong is a start. The start to being a better person for you. Not for him, but for you. In the end that is all we have just yourself. Well and the kids. 

But your h needs to do some work as well. There is a reason you sought out Mr. F, you need to understand what your h WASN'T doing for you and tell him. I'M not talking about hints, clues, etc. I'm talking about straight out tellling him you aren't doing XYZ. Hints, clues, the "he should know what I need if he loves me" is a load of crap. If YOU NEED SOMETHING FROM HIM ------- TELL HIM STRAIGHT. US men are DENSE, we don't understand all the hints and clues you women "show us", it is not in our vocabulary. We aren't your girlfriends who pick up on that, we are DUMB.

Start by looking inward!!!!


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

Justawife said:


> Female married 20+ years been together a long time...
> He cheated 1 time that know about, still to this day I feel in my gut thier was more.
> The one I know about was a killer, I found out from a Doctors visit while I was with our 3 child...I think you know where I'm going with this...
> At the same time, someone from his work was calling me to let me know what a great guy I had...humm is that girl 2 or girl 1? I will never really know.
> ...


 I am so sorry what i have done to you in the past,that was over 17 years ago.but still sorry,i was just confterble with you and thought we had a good marriage but i guess i was wrong after see what you did,susie i would do anything you wish and always have i am maddly in love with you,i would die for you....i cherish every morning and am proud to wake up by your side,for you to say you wouldnt change what happend hurts cause i wish to god it never did.but you cant change the past but im here to tell you im in love with you maddly and there is nothing that will change that.our daughter is the one that told me that you was talking to mrf again and when i saw you telling him you was in the bathtub and a song came on and was thinking about him and wishing you had one of his shirts to sleep in so you could feel close to him,and the hartbreaker you telling him you LOVE him that was a killer..................but im willing to forget and forgive cause i love you with everything i have and then some.i love your smell,your looks,your voice,your hair,even your farts when you sleep,we been together what around 26 years all together.and i love you less today than i will tomorrow but more today than yeasterday...i know i want sex alot maybe there is something wrong with me but i really enjoy it with you and it make me fell as we are one.everytime you walk past i turn around to look at you i smell the air when you walk past you get up in the morning before me i take your pillow just to smell it cause honey i am so so so so in love with you.i want to grow old togather.i want everthing from you..i mean everything from you..this guy you were talking to is fat and ugly and moves from apartment to aprtment.you have a good life cant you see that...we are solemates meant to be.live in the real world not the cyber world..be happy.i will suprtyou in whatever you need i will worship the ground you walk on.please wake up and be my wife my lover my friend again. if its not what you want then please dont drag it out just tell me and i will go find a hole to climb in and die....I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

susie,justawife
i love you with everything i have i want you to be happy.i dont understand why or how you fell the way you do,i wish i did and could fix it cause i would do anything you ever wanted and you know that.when all this happened i was over the first time we moved and bought a 300000 house and life was great,then our daughter told me you was talking to mr f again so i watch and every night and early morning you would be on the computer i knew before she told me that you was doing something but when i opened the letter of you telling him you was in the tub thinking of him cause of a song and you wish you had one of his sirts to sleep in so you could feel close to him then the hart breaker you telling him you love him that just hurt like hell....but i am willing to forgive and forget.i love you so much we been together for what 26 years total..i love you more today than yesterday but not as much as i will tomorrow,i love your hair,your smell,your looks everything even the farts you leave in your sleep,i would die for you.you walk past i smell the air cause you smell so good when you get up in the morning before i do i get your pillow just to smell you make me happy.im ilove with you cant you see that what happend 17 years ago was a mistake and i wish i could change it but i cant . and you saying you wouldnt change what you did really hurts also.if you dont want me dont drag me along just tell me so i can go find a hole to crawl in and die,but i will still love you...please come back to the real world.i need you and worship the ground you walk on we have a good life..i love you...your hubby..


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Unfortunately, I did have an affair on my wife (married 21 years), and I regret it and take full responsibility for my actions. We had a very rocky marriage and I wasn't attracted to her, for several reasons...

We are now in the process of getting a divorce, for this and MANY other reasons as well...that have destroyed our relationship.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

I know it' been 17 years...I also know that time does not heal all wounds...and the reason I even talked to Mr. F was YOU...YOU decided that posting to women on a Adult Date Site "would be just for fun" I'm sorry, but that's not just for fun... You was thinking about it...you took photos,both naked and clothed....you took photos of our H3, Harley, Chopper, and hell our dog...You wanted those gal's to see that you had more to offer then just sex...You even gave them a time that you could meet with them, you searched local girls...
Your EXACT words" It don't matter as long as you don't really meet them." Well I never ment him.... Do You see my point... I agree sweetheart, I F***ed up...I went to far....and I damaged apart of us that I will never get back....that I do regret!!! Full heartedly...
I need you to stop and think for a min!!!
My whole life with you, If didn't do just what you wanted, you were mad at me, or you would just walk out...yes, I know you was young....but at that same time...so was I and I gave you EVERY part of me...I was yours for anything you wanted...I did everything to make you happy, I planed 2 weddings, hd the invitations the glasses, the cake, everythng to have you tell me that You didn't love me enuff to marry me, but didn't want anyone else to have me...and YOU did say that...
Do you know how many night I cried myself asleep?
I cried allot at night, and you knew that...what did you say to me...?" Your Crazy" or "We have many years to be together, get over it" Now I'm not tring to bash you...How would you feel if said that to you rght now?
Your letter was the most you've ever opened up to me...and you made my hear skip a beat...even when you brought up the fart..lol 
I need to let the past go...but it's hard...Because it's the past that haunts me...It's the past I want to run from...I know you can't say..if only..because the fact is IT HAPPEDED, and it changed me...I wish it never happened...but if I hadent talked to Mr. F, you would still be doing it to me...That I'm sure of...more sure of then anything else in my life...
When I tell you things that are from the past...it's not to dredge up what you did wrong, I'm sure I didn't make you happy then and thats my fault....it is to tell you, I have been thru Hell with you, and I can't see the piture as clear as I use to...I'm not tring to break your heart, or hurt you...I'm just tring to get us back...
If I could wish on a star, I would go back to 1985 when we started dating...I woud be strong and tell you I don't think so, I'm not going to sit and cry, I would tell you I love you and if your going to pick your car, your bike, your family, your friends ( who wanted to see as apart so that I would go out with them..), your stupid ass ****, dumb stuff that will hurt our relationship, so bad....to just get lost...you whold have thought about it and you wouldn't have been so mean to me..but because I sat a took it, you ran wild with it...and don't DON'T Tell me its because you was young... I was the same age as you...and I commited to you...full hearted...my body, my soul and our child...
You know that every time you walked out...I never once NOT ONCE kissed anyone else, brought them home to meet my mom, or hell I never cared about anyone....I just sat and cried...heart breaking and willing to do anything to make you love me... Wanting nothing except you to love me half as much as I loved you... I guess you never realized that...Until now...thats the part I wouldn't change.... Now its you wanting me that way...

When I talked to Mr. F, it wasn't to hurt you..it was at first just because...you told me it was ok, to talk to others online..it was just for fun...(you know what you said)

Even if you don't believe me, I never...NEVER ment to hurt anyone with talking to him...He came out of no where and it wasn't until the night I told you about it, that I realized I was in much deeper then I wanted to be...The reason I went back, I don't know, really I don't... Maybe because once in my life I just didn't think about what if...I just went along with it...and Mike you know me...I over think even what I drink I order for lunch....lol
I loved that I didn't over think anything while talking to MR. F...after all he didn't care if it sounded stupid or not...and I would liked it to have been that way with you...
I know your saying..why dont you? right...?

Don't you remember how you always stold me how to act, what to say and when not to laugh? I always thought that I was so
f****ing stupid that you had to teach me.... and this was why you would walk out on me every 5-6 weeks.. So I tried to make you happy, by changing for you...so when I say I don't know who I am...thats what I'm talking about... For many years, I tried to be the one you wanted, not who I am...so many times I'm not sure if I know who I am...

I want to laugh with out worry that I might imbarise you by being loud... I want to be able to trip or stumble with out feeling like a looser in your eyes...I want to be strong...the way I was born to be... I have a mind and I want to use it, with out being judged by the one who loves me...right or wrong...soft or loud, stand with me...not be hind me, not in front of me, but with me...can you do that? 
I think you can now, but couldn't before...so when I say I wouldn't chnge it...thats what I mean....

Something else....because I talked to him, I have to give up alot...and I don't blame you , I would feel the same way...but I need privacy, that is something that has always been taken from me, Mike...! And Knowing my every move...well, What does that do? It' has to be my choice...I told you that before...and I've keep my word to you...but you need to STOP following him online...your dredging up my mistake....and that will hurt you more then I did...trust me, thats the road that has killed me for many years....You have to let him go...

I'm not with you because of the House, the Truck, or even the Kids...I would give up everything to have the magic that I want in a relationship... Magic...do you know what I mean?
I'm here becasue I want to be...I just want to be more...
More of everything...I want to be...hell, I don't know, but I want the chance to explore just what it is that I want to be...one day it might be Betty Crocker..., the next day I might want to by your sex kitten...., All I can say is that I don't change to hurt you, I just haven't found my nitch yet...and then again maybe I have and I just don't realize it...but either way... I want to....

You said I communicate with the people on line more then you! I found this page the same day I found that you where looking at a page about having me followed, and you was here first, so I decided to try talking to you on here...so the first post wasn't for the person on here is was for you...When I open up to you, you just blame me for everything and don't say you don't ...you always say suz, it was so long ago, can't you let it go...? Well ater all of this, you should know the answer to that...so to stop from hurting you, I swallow it and go on...
Don't bring my kids into this...I never told them about the times you were such a ass to me ot about the times I had to deal with things on my own...so don't you... I would give my life, to make sure they never hve to feel that they were mixed up in a mess like this... 
Are you mad at me again? Cause I didn't write this to make you mad...I just wanted to tell you...I LOVE YOU! I will always love you...and Mr. F knows that...I know he felt the same way...we ws just the missing people to listen the each other and try to make sense of what we was doing wrong in the real world...It would never go any further....


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

Shell22 said:


> Just a question....
> 
> Are you male or female?
> 
> ...


Female

Never. 

He's so loyal that I believe he never will. However, every person I dated before him cheated on me. My father had an affair with my college softball coach, while I was still playing and in college, and ruined my parents marriage. Kind of surrounded by it, so I still prepare myself for what feels to be the inevitable


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

Damn,your making me cry....That was good I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE AND ONLY WANT YOU,I know i was a stupid man but we are suspose to be stupid and not think before we do stupid stuff.I truely sorry for what i done.i love you and only want to grow old with you......you are my LIFE... you are my EVERYTHING... love dont stop at 40 it only begins,“A mighty pain to love it is, and ’tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain.Ilove you so much and thankyou for being my freind wife and lover(sex kitten)MEOWW...


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

purrrrrrrrr


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

That sucks but in my opinion, it was more than once...I have seen this too many times with family and friends. Good luck with this situation.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Female. 

"cheated" no. I had permission from my first husband to play - he knew who i was with and when. He had been seeing other girls for years, we didn't sleep in the same room and never had sex ourselves for over nine years. We were co-parents and roommates. 

I guess it was an open relationship sexually. Just not open to each other as we didn't have sex together.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Female.

No.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

Justawife said:


> purrrrrrrrr


hey, i might be stupid, but....

is the justahusband and justawife thing real? are you guys really married to each other?

please, listen to each other!!! you two got it figured out. communicate. love. you're there!

good luck.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Yes..It's a true thing..we have been married for 22 years...and at this point...you know more about us then we did until lately...
Being on the outside looking in...what do you see?


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

yes been together since 10th grade and love every min of it we just turned 40 this year wahoo what i ride i love her so much shes my rock, my love, my freind,my lover PURRRRR.Love you baby.....


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

JAH/JAW...

This thread turned refreshing when I read your posts 

You seem to be in somewhat of a circle of 'mine happened long ago, yours is more recent' 'but yours is what caused me to pull away and start mine in the first place' 'etc.'

Bottom line, if you look at it from the others' perspective, your decisions did not make your spouse feel loved, cherished. You did them for selfish reasons because something was missing that you were not getting within your marriage and you decided to get it elsewhere...doesn't matter whether it's cheating or whose was worse, etc. The only thing that matters is you left your spouse feeling unloved, uncherished.

To see the love pour from both of you, it's clear you can both have a happy, stronger marraige than you've had the last 20+ years. A big part of it will be to leave the past resentment and current following the guy around the internet stuff behind you and just move forward together


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

you aren't doing XYZ. Hints, clues, the "he should know what I need if he loves me" is a load of crap. If YOU NEED SOMETHING FROM HIM ------- TELL HIM STRAIGHT. US men are DENSE, we don't understand all the hints and clues you women "show us", it is not in our vocabulary. We aren't your girlfriends who pick up on that, we are DUMB. see hun we are dumb just ask this guy...


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

do you know how long it's been since you called me hun?


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## jivey (Jun 18, 2009)

Male 42 Married 8yrs Never cheated on her


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## danyell80 (Apr 20, 2009)

female 28 married 2yrs been together 6 no never cheated


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Sonny,
I'm the last person to tell you what you should do or not do...maybe you and your wife should talk about a open Marriage? Was it the same women all the time, and did she know that it was only for the sex? Was you being safe not to bring home any little cridders for your wife? and did your wife know?


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

justawife said:


> do you know how long it's been since you called me hun?


hun i love you...


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Good Morning...Love you!


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

Thats my girl>>>
LOVE YOU>>>>


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Cheated, no. Open marriage, yes. Still haven't "capitalized" on that, however. Divorce pending.


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## justahusband (Aug 15, 2009)

Justawife said:


> Good Morning...Love you!


HUN....
I know that you are not perfect(but close) and nor can I claim to be either, but please believe me, when I say that I want to be by your side, to hold your hand, to treasure you in the morning and in the noon-tide, to be next to you, to be held close to your heart now and for the rest of my living years, to comfort you, dry your tears and calm your most frightening fears, to fight your battles and show no shame to scream my love for you out loud all over the land.
I LOVE YOU....


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## valium (Sep 22, 2008)

I like the above - wish i had someone like that

Female

cheated no

But H has

it has taken me 2 years to figure out what I want


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Hugs and Kisses ...♥


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## Anexsia (Aug 20, 2009)

Female, twenty years old, married two years next month. I never cheated on my husband, but he did. He never slept with anyone, but the things he said to that girl that one night destroyed who we were.


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

i'm a man ( but you already knew that) and i keep my word.


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## Marley (Dec 1, 2009)

Shell22 said:


> Just a question....
> 
> Are you male or female?
> 
> ...


Female, 29, married 8 years. Husband had been having a physical relationship with a colleague that I wasn't aware of at the time, and I broke down in front of a friend who comforted me and then kissed me - although this was before my husband's affair was confirmed (if that makes a difference). If I have to be honest, trust is non-existant in our relationship. For him it's a huge issue about whether I love him or not, for me - I don't attach emotion to it. Trust or no trust, life goes on.


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## letitgo (Nov 3, 2009)

female, 23, yes-its complex


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## naojkat (Dec 1, 2009)

i never cheated my husband, not in my wildest dreams... I love him so much and for me I only loved once in my life and tould bhat we him.... Even we got separated with no communication, I do still maintain my faithfulness to him. I never tried to have a relationships with other guys. This thing is very ironic on his part. When we are on separated mode, he have a relationship with other woman. It really really really hurts me. I thought he would feel the same way just I did.. He made me feel that he don't love me. Ang dali niya akong nakalimutan! The worst part of it is that when we decided to work things out and be together, they still communication with that woman. This situation boost up my insecurities...I will always doubt him, kahit sabihin pa niya na wala na sila and they don't have communication at all. i don't believe him. ...


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I'm female, married twice....first marriage was 15 years, I never cheated, he did.....second marriage is 5 years and still going strong, neither of us has cheated.

Cheating is too painful a thing to do to another person. I would end the relationship first. May I also add that I won't even have a friend that cheats on their significant other.


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Female , 8 years, faithfull so far. Not very trusting of my husband though (only thing he did to make me doubt him is the fact that we're in a semi-sexless marriage).


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## WarmFront (Nov 10, 2009)

I'm Female, 31 and I cheated on my first husband in retaliation to catching him cheating on me. I know that is a poor excuse and was very poor judgement on my part. Eventhough we are no longer married and I am currently with my second husband, I still regret doing it and it is something I will have to live with the rest of my life. 

I agree with this quote wholeheartedly.



scarletblue said:


> Cheating is too painful a thing to do to another person. I would end the relationship first. May I also add that I won't even have a friend that cheats on their significant other.


My current husband knows about the entire situation as we both gave full disclosure before we decided to tie the knot. 

Needless to say, I will NEVER cheat again!


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## Harvard (Aug 11, 2009)

no1.daddy2kids said:


> Male, 40, married for 9 years in October. Never cheated, but wife is in emotional affair.



Why did she decide to have an emotional affair? :scratchhead:


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