# This above all: to thine own self be true



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Another thread I didn't want to hijack prompted this.
It's a question......

The other thread implies that a husband should "play alpha" or "become alpha" for his marriage's sake.

I found it quite easy to "play alpha" in my stage and platform days. I could even continue the persona for a couple of hours following the presentation.
However, it was exhausting. I was so ready for "the end" to scroll up from the bottom of the screen. I wanted nothing more than to retreat into my beta cocoon.

What do you think ?
Can it be done in a day-after-day scenario ?
What will be the result ?
Is a "greater good" available ?
Is the lie somehow sanctified by the motive ?
Is the Shakespearian quote far enough out of context as to not apply ?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

there is the concept of being a SWITCH.

i.e. some days when you feel like it, you are the Alpha.
other days when you do not feel it, you play the submissive role and let her dominate.

i hear a lot of people who have employment positions of power (like a manager) often are totally submissive in the confines of their bedroom. Having to be an Alpha all day long at work drains them to the point that they PREFER a submissive role in sex at home.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Since my marriage collapsed for not being alpha enough, and then too alpha, reverting to alpha-beta at the end, I can only say I found all phases really exhausting. I'm totally beta right now and happy with it. This is what I am. To me, being alpha is not sustainable. I don't care about the "greater good".


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I'd note that the Shakespeare character who spoke that line was portrayed as being a pontificating windbag. Nonetheless, there might be something in it.

But I'd need to understand more deeply what is meant by "alpha" and "beta". These terms get thrown about rather loosely. Some digging might be useful. There may be some different axes on this graph.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

It's far easier to present yourself as whoever you actually are.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

TJW said:


> Another thread I didn't want to hijack prompted this.
> It's a question......
> 
> The other thread implies that a husband should "play alpha" or "become alpha" for his marriage's sake.
> ...


Despite all the self-help books and web pages about he alpha/beta stuff, I personally think it unreasonable to pretend to be who we aren't. Recall coming home from a business conference where we studied psychological techniques for interviewing and interacting with employees. Tried some of techniques conversing with the wife. Her immediate response was "what in h3ll are you up to?" It is still a joke between us after three decades.

And how can an adult change their innate personality to become an "Alpha" if their upbringing and life experiences from birth have developed them into a non-alpha?

Bottom line, if we aren't an Alpha naturally, it is hard to imagine how pretending to be one is going to accomplish anything. And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?


Probably why there is a lot of cheating going on. When someone thinks they can be happy with one type of person then realize they can't.

You cannot be what you aren't. You can pretend but that is all it is, pretend. There is a place for both kinds of people.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

One should always be who they are. If you're beta then find a woman who's ok with that. 

I think that sometimes men confuse alpha with adult. I know that I don't care if my guy's an alpha, but I do need him to be an adult man who handles his fair share of the business. I'm not your mother.

I don't know that I'd classify my bf as an alpha, but he's not a pushover and takes care of things that need taken care of. That's enough for me.

So does beta mean you're not a functional adult? I wouldn't think so.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I think most men are a combo of alpha and beta. They're alpha when they want to be and beta when they want to be - which is what most women prefer, IMO. The trick is for the woman to find the man who is alpha when it counts for her and beta when it counts for her. Also known as compatibility.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Those labels tend to make things worse. A good partner should be reliable & decisive. Don't leave every decision to your spouse. Give input even about things like dinner. It can be exhausting to always have to be the one who plans the meals. Take an active roll in the household. Do the laundry & the dishes to the division of labor doesn't all fall on one person.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's putting people into boxes and giving them labels. I hate that.
I suspect that most men would be somewhere along the spectrum between the two but I honestly have no idea what it really even means.

I have no idea where my husband falls. He is a typical Aussie, very laid back, easy going, easy to please. I love those things about him. Do those things make him beta? If so then the majority of men in Oz and NZ must also be beta. I don't know.
He also has very strong moral values, integrity and self control. Strong boundaries with the opposite sex. I also love these things about him. Do these things make him alpha? I have no idea.

The most important thing is to marry someone who you love just as they are regardless of what labels they may or may not match.
Be yourself always.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

We (men) are all told to be more alpha at some point on TAM... like a miracle cure.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

_“To thine own self be true.” _

@TJW seriously, I have to say that you seem to have one of the worst marriages in the history of marriages. One of your posts the other day made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to cry for you and shake you at the same time for continuing to put up with this. The way your wife treats you is deplorable!

I’d quit worrying about being an alpha or beta and I’d walk my ass out the door and never come back.

‘To thine own self be true??’

If you believed that, you would save yourself already! Do you think God would want you to be stuck in your sickening marriage for the rest of whatever years you have left? If the answer is yes, then God really isn’t as loving or forgiving as I’ve been led to believe.

Boo, get out! Open the door and walk _away!_ Be true to yourself and leave! I think I’ve read where you’re up in age. This is how you insist on spending what years you have left?! With a nagging, unappreciative spouse that makes your life an absolute misery?! Blaming yourself for not being ‘alpha’ enough instead of using that energy to change your life?

Get out of there already! 😫

If this was the wrong thread to say that, I apologize. So more on topic, I’d have to say that self respect trumps labels any day of the week. Get some. Forget the labels! Forget blaming yourself. Just LEAVE. Open the door and walk away!

_To thine own self be true_!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

You can't *BE *more alpha or beta, you either are or you aren't.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> It's putting people into boxes and giving them labels. I hate that.
> I suspect that most men would be somewhere along the spectrum between the two but I honestly have no idea what it really even means.
> 
> I have no idea where my husband falls. He is a typical Aussie, very laid back, easy going, easy to please. I love those things about him. Do those things make him beta? *If so then the majority of men in Oz and NZ must also be beta. I don't know.*
> ...


All the Aussies I have met were confident decisive men. And the ones on TV are too, i mean playing with deadly snakes and wrestling salties is about as "Alpha" as could imagine lol


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Rus47 said:


> Bottom line, if we aren't an Alpha naturally, it is hard to imagine how pretending to be one is going to accomplish anything. And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?


i do not know if that is true. there are plenty of introverts who, thru training and shear force of will, can excel in a management position, for instance. Happens all the time.

those people, especially, are Alpha only at work, and quickly transform to beta once they are in their car on the way home at night! they have only so much Alpha "juice" to expend each day, and by day's end it is all used up


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

D0nnivain said:


> Those labels tend to make things worse. A good partner should be reliable & decisive. Don't leave every decision to your spouse. Give input even about things like dinner. It can be exhausting to always have to be the one who plans the meals. Take an active roll in the household. Do the laundry & the dishes to the division of labor doesn't all fall on one person.


i am not so sure.
the one thing every marriage needs is GOOD communications. And books like "The Five Love Languages" point out we are pretty lousy at figuring out what our spouse is trying to say.

So having a label to hang on your spouse, even if it is grossly simplistic, could actually be VERY beneficial!


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Can’t any guy become more alpha every day by just enjoying the privilege of being a man? I mean, go hunting, go work on a car, lift some heavy weights, hike the wilderness, get into combat sports.... every manly skill you acquire makes you a little more manly and “alpha”.... isn’t that right?

I mean, if you had the karate skills of Chuck Norris would you really let people walk all over you? probably not!

Likewise, if you were training and ripped like Chris Hemsworth I seriously doubt people would think of you (or that you’d think of yourself) as “beta”. You’d probably feel pretty dang “alpha” having ladies begging for your attention- 😆

We all can’t be Norris or Hemsworth but we can still have and enjoy our own manly (aka alpha) stuff to do. Granted, you may not be able to change your wife’s opinion of you- sadly.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Rus47 said:


> All the Aussies I have met were confident decisive men. And the ones on TV are too, i mean playing with deadly snakes and wrestling salties is about as "Alpha" as could imagine lol


They are largely laid back and easy going. They are known for it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> Can’t any guy become more alpha every day by just enjoying the privilege of being a man? I mean, go hunting, go work on a car, lift some heavy weights, hike the wilderness, get into combat sports.... every manly skill you acquire makes you a little more manly and “alpha”.... isn’t that right?
> 
> I mean, if you had the karate skills of Chuck Norris would you really let people walk all over you? probably not!
> 
> ...


For me a man who goes hunting is anything but alpha.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> For me a man who goes hunting is anything but alpha.


Why? If a guy goes hunting, and eats or donates to a shelter or charity, how does that detract?


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

It's more about you and your purpose being the focus of your own life and not the woman. I know guys in special ops who are definitely the classic definition of alpha yet they let women walk all over them. Does it mean their not alpha, of course not. Also keep in mind that from a biological pov alpha just means traits that are attractive to the opposite sex. Yes there are the classic traits like money and power, but then how can a broke artist (painter) or writer still pull women like crazy? It's obviously more than that. Often the most powerful thing a guy can do is not be afraid to lose a woman.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Yea, I knew a guy who was a developer, totally stereotype alpha, dominating, in command
In the boardroom. Intimidating even. Everyone walked eggshells around him.
But there was one person who out-alphed him, could rip him whenever she wanted (and often did)
People were more afraid of her than him; his wife!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> It's putting people into boxes and giving them labels. I hate that.
> I suspect that most men would be somewhere along the spectrum between the two but I honestly have no idea what it really even means.
> 
> I have no idea where my husband falls. He is a typical Aussie, very laid back, easy going, easy to please. I love those things about him. Do those things make him beta? If so then the majority of men in Oz and NZ must also be beta. I don't know.
> ...


You know, in the animal world, the alpha male is always laid back and calm and patient, but if pushed too far, they will calmly take care of the issue. Case in point:
Minx was a big black manx my sister had. He was the alpha. He was never ever aggressive and was never the cat who was instigating wrestling matches. But his alpha came out with a new kitten. We made the kitten a box to pop in and out of with holes cut on the side. The kitten was, of course, going nuts. Minx laid about a foot from the box. Soon the kitten was totally tormenting Minx, and Minx just lazily blinked his eyes and ignored it until it had gone on long enough of the kitten was right up in his face rearing up all claws like a bear, at which point, Minx calmly put his big paw right down on the top of the kitten and held it for a few seconds while it squirmed. That's how an alpha cat is. 

I do think everyone is on track that this is on a spectrum, like every other personality trait. Not always easy to find the right combination, but you'll sure know when you found the wrong one. My beta mistake was a guy who couldn't face it that he was gay (we never did have sex because I knew on our first date and then just became friends, but he still acted like I was his girlfriend -- convenient for him so he didn't have to face facts.)

He was one big shoulder shrug and he wouldn't ever stand up to his retail boss, who would change his schedule last minute and ruin occasions for him. I had had that same job for some years, so I KNEW she was just yanking him around because I never had to do that to people. If someone couldn't come in, I covered. Anyway, it was apparent that if he got a $1,000 invoice from the phone company, he'd pay it before he'd ever call them and straighten it out. Can't imagine being with someone like that where you have double the problems because you're with them and have to handle ALL those by yourself. 

I think nearly all women want men to mostly be (not using the "alpha" word) very confident and unhesitant in bed and not mincing around. That still doesn't mean some women won't "take over" if the planets align, which most men like. But in day-to-day, I don't know any woman who doesn't want a man who will be proactive about handling their share of the problems, heading problems off at the pass, and doing simple maintenance without dragging their feet and being intimidated by it or simply waiting to see if they wait long enough, the woman will do it. Not one. Nope. No woman likes that. 

In today's world where a huge percentage of women work and/or also have kids, the man needs to not have to be told something needs done. They need to see the trash full and snatch it up and take it out while the woman is busy cooking or packing his lunch. It's called respect. Instead, so many want sex in trade for anything they do, and that is called treating your woman like a prostitute. That is not alpha. That just puts you high on the spectrum of manipulative.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> For me a man who goes hunting is anything but alpha.


How do you not see that statement makes zero sense? You are of course entitled to your opinion, but hunting is probably one of the few things that is both "alpha" and "beta". You are engaging in a very alpha activity while providing food for your family which would be considered beta.


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## johndoe12299 (Jul 12, 2021)

yea, i chose to ignore that comment...smh


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

johndoe12299 said:


> yea, i chose to ignore that comment...smh


I did too. Some people think that meat comes from the grocery store SMH


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> We (men) are all told to be more alpha at some point on TAM... like a miracle cure.


Being "alpha" fixes nothing. It's an artificial construct & sets up a destructive zero sum dynamic where one person has to lose or be less than so the other can "win." 

Instead develop your own self esteem. Know your worth so that you can assert yourself when necessary but be conciliatory & cooperative without losing a piece of your soul for the good of the whole.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Think it's more about what you desire than who you are. 

I know with my wife I behave in certain ways I might not behave with other women, if I were involved with them. Because I know that's what she likes and responds to. I have a strong primal desire to keep our marriage going, to keep her sexually attracted to me. To not have to come on here and make a thread wondering why she stopped wanting to have sex with me. 

Since my desire for that is so strong I naturally become what I need to be to get it. It's not fake. That's generally how people are. If you find yourself unable to keep up with being an alpha all that really tells you is you're not particularly motivated to get what being an alpha gives you.


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## manowar (Oct 3, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> Alpha only at work, and quickly transform to beta once they are in their car on the way home at night!



Good observation. these are known as social alphas. These tend to be your white knights and a term I'm not sure is used anymore - _henpecked_. Let's go w/ puzzy whipped. Men who have been thoroughly socially conditioned concerning female nature. Alpha men - ex-athletes, ex-military in many cases with a BluePill worldview. Numerous babyboomer men are this way.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?


Not if she's a pragmatist. She figured out that "alpha" doesn't earn much money, doesn't fix the car, doesn't remodel the house. Alpha is "fun", "Beta" is USEFUL. Never mind that he feels like a pack mule.....


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I'm still hoping someone has a clear definition of what these words actually mean.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

manowar said:


> Good observation. these are known as social alphas. These tend to be your white knights and a term I'm not sure is used anymore - _henpecked_. Let's go w/ puzzy whipped. Men who have been thoroughly socially conditioned concerning female nature. Alpha men - ex-athletes, ex-military in many cases with a BluePill worldview. Numerous babyboomer men are this way.


actually, i was alluding to bright young WOMEN managers, who have to mix it up with the big boys. Some put on an Alpha display at work, and appear to be tough as nails. Then go home and want to be tied up in bondage in the bedroom.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Laurentium said:


> I'm still hoping someone has a clear definition of what these words actually mean.





https://media.tenor.com/images/306e0f103984c1f60d534f43b2c4de7c/tenor.gif


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

jorgegene said:


> Yea, I knew a guy who was a developer, totally stereotype alpha, dominating, in command
> In the boardroom. Intimidating even. Everyone walked eggshells around him.
> But there was one person who out-alphed him, could rip him whenever she wanted (and often did)
> People were more afraid of her than him;  his wife!


imagine how their bedroom play unfolded!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> They need to see the trash full and snatch it up and take it out while the woman is busy cooking or packing his lunch. It's called respect.


At lunch my wife asked me what’s for dinner and I said tonight chicken soup with such and so, and then tomorrow this dish she really likes; but I’m not trading days for the dish order because I want to open a bottle of wine to cook with on Friday and I might sneak a glass.

She seemed pleased with this plan and then when I was grabbing her ass after lunch she told me she took Tylenol to try and get rid of her headache.

I think I’m scoring tonight.

Thing is, this is my plan. I’m eating what I want in the order I want but I take her preferences into consideration in my planning. She doesn’t have to think about it or worry that there won’t be lunch or dinner or anything because I just take care of it. Just like she does with laundry. I don’t have to worry I won’t have a clean shirt or whatever because she just does it and I say thank you.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

TJW said:


> Another thread I didn't want to hijack prompted this.
> It's a question......
> 
> The other thread implies that a husband should "play alpha" or "become alpha" for his marriage's sake.
> ...


I don't know too much about alpha and beta, but yes, always be yourself. You never want to be someone else, and plus, that person is already taken. I will ask two questions about any relationship and can get a good feel of the dynamic based off it, they are:

1. Did your wife ride with you when you met her, or did you ride with her? I know my wife through everything away and showed up at my front door step when I asked her to. She is and always will be riding with me. I'm the driver, she's the passenger; we both like it that way.
2. Does your wife EVER talk down to you, or treat you with any type of disrespect, and if so, what do you do about it? Respect is big for me, not only with my wife, but everyone I associate with. I won't tolerate even the smallest hint of disrespect.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Does your wife EVER talk down to you


Are you kidding ? She never talks any other way.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

TJW said:


> Are you kidding ? She never talks any other way.


You insist you're a Beta Boy. Fine. If that's the role you play, so be it. But disrespect does not mean you have to tolerate it. It's one thing to consider yourself "beta" but it's another matter to allow someone to talk to you disrespectfully. You can assert yourself and tell her to cut the crap. Frankly, you don't sound beta to me, you just sound like a doormat. JMO


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Maybe he likes being disrespected by his wife. Some guys do, nothing wrong with that. If that's your thing.

My step sister is a disability bum who's approaching 30. Meaning she could work but chooses not to. I've tried several times to coax her off that path but she refuses. 

So as much as my "real self" would like to be kind and generous to her instead I dumped her off everything she has to contact me a few days ago. Because I'm just not interested in experiencing the hassle and irritation that someone who chooses to live that lifestyle brings to my life. It's amazing how fast your "real self" behavior will naturally change when you really don't like something.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

gaius said:


> Maybe he likes being disrespected by his wife. Some guys do, nothing wrong with that. If that's your thing.


Hmmmm ... you have a point there. But if someone "enjoys" being disrespected, why complain about it? I guess one partner could enjoy being disrespected and also enjoy complaining about it.


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

Rus47 said:


> And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?


Alpha males,
There aren't many around, they often don't marry, make bad partners, many women don't have the SMV to get one.
Their only choice is a Beta, or a house full of cats.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Laurentium said:


> I'm still hoping someone has a clear definition of what these words actually mean.


Alpha/Beta

You claim them when they make you shine.
And, when you feel that fame.

You disparage them when they make you shy.
And, when they make you feel lame.

.......................................

Words as these can become dull excuses and pointed weapons.

......................................

For those thought, or felt a Beta, just more jealous longings


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## ElwoodPDowd (Aug 25, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> We all can’t be Norris or Hemsworth but we can still have and enjoy our own manly (aka alpha) stuff to do. Granted, you may not be able to change your wife’s opinion of you- sadly.


I always thought Chuck looked a bit weak.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> For me a man who goes hunting is anything but alpha.


especially in today's anti-gun democrat and media run culture....someone who dares to own and use a gun is clearly NOT "beta".


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> They are largely laid back and easy going. They are known for it.


i think some confuse blatantly Macho men (i.e. those showing off), with functionally alpha men (those who can get things done, those that can lead).


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> especially in today's anti-gun democrat and media run culture....someone who dares to own and use a gun is clearly NOT "beta".


I own and use several, not shy about it either, but am far from an alpha. Some people have problem with hunting, but buy from the meat market weekly.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> I own and use several, not shy about it either, but am far from an alpha. Some people have problem with hunting, but buy from the meat market weekly.


I think "non-hunters" lump those that hunt all together even though there are three distinct types. And it gives all a bad name.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> especially in today's anti-gun democrat and media run culture....someone who dares to own and use a gun is clearly NOT "beta".


I own 3 guns...am I an alpha-something...?? Lol!!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I own 3 guns...am I an alpha-something...?? Lol!!


No, just scary.  j/k


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Rus47 said:


> Some people have problem with hunting, but buy from the meat market weekly.


I think some people have a problem with "hunting" when it's done for fun.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> On the internet. But a lot of it is just networking. Like they were talking about a couple of the customers were were friends small groups from their place of employment. When I first started working in the office over 10 years ago now, there was a guy there who did this type of trophy hunting. I know there's no way he could have afforded those kind of prices though so I'm not sure what kind of place he went to but when I first heard him describing it I thought it was a video game he was describing but it wasn't.


That's just CRAZY!!! Wouldn't a real hunting trip be cheaper and more exciting than that??


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> How does the ranch manager attract these imitation men? Where is he/she advertising?


? This went over my head, can you splain?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> No, just scary.  j/k


Lol!! Especially when I haven't brushed my hair!!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> I think some people have a problem with "hunting" when it's done for fun.


I definitely have a problem with people who just enjoy killing. I once asked profiler John Douglas what he thought about sport hunting, because he had written about a guy who hunted humans in one of his early books. I asked him if he thought it was a vestigial trait. He said he wasn't sure if it was a vestigial trait but that it was definitely not good psychologically.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> I think some people have a problem with "hunting" when it's done for fun.


Exactly! I hunt only for meat (Elk, deer, etc.) or to protect (the cougar that was preying on my calves). "Sport" hunting is repulsive to me.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> I think some people have a problem with "hunting" when it's done for fun.


Me too, as in I never hunted for fun, though I had fun while hunting. Now use a camera instead of a gun. These days am too old and lazy to field dress and process a kill anyway. Hours of hard work after firing one shot. And, actually always felt badly about taking a life. But that cant be avoided if one is to survive.

So I go to the meat market like everyone else, pay someone else to do the killing and processing. Same with fishing, easier to just buy a salmon than hours catching one.

Anyway, don't think this has much to do with alpha/beta so, apologies for that.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> That's just CRAZY!!! Wouldn't a real hunting trip be cheaper and more exciting than that??


Right?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Rus47 said:


> ? This went over my head, can you splain?


Sure. Any guy who thinks deer hunting needs to be akin to shooting fish in a barrel is an imitation man. He wants the antlers to mount on a wall and let people think he's a 'manly man' without telling them he had the animal closed in. Pathetic. Lies to himself as well as others.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I definitely have a problem with people who just enjoy killing. I once asked profiler John Douglas what he thought about sport hunting, because he had written about a guy who hunted humans in one of his early books. I asked him if he thought it was a vestigial trait. He said he wasn't sure if it was a vestigial trait but that it was definitely not good psychologically.


Where I live hunting is quite popular, but it is done as a family tradition and they use every bit of the animal. I think that is all good and is actually part of wildlife management and keeps the wild animal population healthy. Hunting just for the fun of it, especially corralled animals is just horrible. It is no surprise that many serial killers start off by killing animals simply for the fun of it.


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## uphillbattle (Aug 17, 2011)

Talker67 said:


> especially in today's anti-gun democrat and media run culture....someone who dares to own and use a gun is clearly NOT "beta".


I live in El Paso, I have been here a little while originally from just outside Detroit. I went into Dollar General a couple of weeks ago and this guy on his way out and yelling at the poor cashier, he had an assault rifle strapped to his back. It was the most profound tiny **** moments I have ever seen.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Where I live hunting is quite popular, but it is done as a family tradition and they use every bit of the animal. I think that is all good and is actually part of wildlife management and keeps the wild animal population healthy. Hunting just for the fun of it, especially corralled animals is just horrible. It is no surprise that many serial killers start off by killing animals simply for the fun of it.


Years ago, they made hunting illegal in Massachusetts, and the deer population exploded and began to starve to death and get sick with diseases, and consequently Lyme disease in people exploded up there as well.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Prodigal said:


> Hmmmm ... you have a point there. But if someone "enjoys" being disrespected, why complain about it? I guess one partner could enjoy being disrespected and also enjoy complaining about it.


Your guess is as good as mine. I don't understand it.

I'm sure if they stuck a fork in an electrical outlet they wouldn't keep doing it over and over again because that's who they are and they refuse to change. So they're capable of change, and must not find whatever they're complaining about as distasteful as they claim.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

gaius said:


> ... and must not find whatever they're complaining about as distasteful as they claim.


^^QFT.^^


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## Meela (Sep 20, 2021)

While we were all born in the tech age we were shown what a “marriage” or at least what the male and female roles are/ were we all have a misconception of what relationships look like to a degree. And it has to be said part of that stems from the technology that told us in the first place. Or even our places of worship. If it is based on a lie or something we don’t understand or agree with than how are we being true to our relationship?


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

TJW said:


> Are you kidding ? She never talks any other way.


any reason why you are still with her? Lifes too short with friends like that. I don't even talk down to that homeless guy who was being a jerk.


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