# I Know The Answer, But...



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Wifey and I have a good relationship. I would never betray her trust with another woman- ever.

It is on my bucket list to go see Las Vegas. Never been there. Wifey has been there a couple of dozen times and has zero desire to go there again. I want to see the strip, the casinos, the crazies, museums... Just go there.

In about 6 weeks she goes to a writers conference for a few days. I have enough in my super secret slush fund (I get $80/month allowance) to make a 3 day trip. I have been thinking of going without discussing it with her. She will not go with me and I highly doubt she will approve of me going alone. Not Vegas, anyway. But I don't drink and I'm too old and homely to chase broads (sorry, ladies). 

I'd love to go without discussing it first, but if she found out the fur would really fly.

Someone tell me it's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission, please...


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Is this a serious question? No, it's not okay. Just tell her and go, don't be such a coward.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

why has your wife been there numerous times and you haven't?


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Going to Vegas isn't an immoral action. I don't know why you need her permission or blessing to do so...I think you should express your desire to go, your plan to go while she's on the trip, unless she wants you to wait until she gets back. Give her the option the come if she wants, and if she doesn't, let her know exactly what you plan to do.


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## woman (Aug 19, 2011)

Does she not trust you? 

Your choice of words (asking for permission, having a secret fund and receiving an 'allowance') makes it sound like you see yourself as the submissive one in the relationship. I could be wrong, sorry if I am.

Anyway to answer, don't go behind her back. Why can't you be honest with her? What's wrong with wanting to go to see the place? :/


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Lyris said:


> Is this a serious question? No, it's not okay. Just tell her and go, don't be such a coward.


Well, sort of serious. It's very unlikely I'd actually go without her blessing. Hey, I'm a compliant hubby.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

67flh said:


> why has your wife been there numerous times and you haven't?


She had family that used to live there.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

woman said:


> Does she not trust you?
> 
> Your choice of words (asking for permission, having a secret fund and receiving an 'allowance') makes it sound like you see yourself as the submissive one in the relationship. I could be wrong, sorry if I am.
> 
> Anyway to answer, don't go behind her back. Why can't you be honest with her? What's wrong with wanting to go to see the place? :/


She may be whispy, but has a great left hook.


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## woman (Aug 19, 2011)

Sounds a bit double standardsy if she's been a few times but you don't feel like you can go. :/


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Oh well. I sure want to but couldn't be so deceptive. But, I can dream....


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## ManUp (Nov 25, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Well, sort of serious. It's very unlikely I'd actually go without her blessing. Hey, I'm a compliant hubby.


What? Her blessing? Seriously?

Go to Vegas. Have a great time. Tell her you're going and stop hiding money.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Sigh... once again, I go against the grain. My husband only took trips like that for work, or looking for work. When looking for work, he flew down near his mom's house and stayed with her overnight, then came back. When he was working, he flew for a continuing education type thing. Other than that, since the day we married (actually, even before that), any trips have been the two of us, or as a family. It would never even occur to either of us to take such a trip separately, whether to see family, or friends, or just for an experience. We'd go together. It's not about asking for permission. In our case, it's about respect. 

OP, if you want to go to Vegas, tell your wife that you would like to go. She just might surprise you and want to go WITH you when she returns.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Don't be a coward. talk to her.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If my husband felt he had to sneak around, I'd be sad and irritated and that would be IT for trust. I'd wonder WHO he went with and why he was such a p&ssy to not tell me.

Don't do it, man.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

that_girl said:


> If my husband felt he had to sneak around, I'd be sad and irritated and that would be IT for trust. I'd wonder WHO he went with and why he was such a p&ssy to not tell me.
> 
> Don't do it, man.


:iagree: 
I cannot see how asking for forgiveness after the fact is a better option than discussing the matter with your wife.
I have no desire to go the casino 3 hours down the road, however, if my husband expressed an interest in going, I would go with him. Should he sneak off to go, I would be most upset.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Don't be a coward. talk to her.


Oh we did. I told her tonight. 

Guess what she said?

I ain't going.


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Hmm... well that's a damn shame. Why won't she go with you? I know it's not somewhere that she really wants to go but marriage is about compromise, right? I'll bet she would enjoy it with you once she got there.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Oh we did. I told her tonight.
> 
> Guess what she said?
> 
> I ain't going.


Did she say "not at all" or "not without me"?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Oh we did. I told her tonight.
> 
> Guess what she said?
> 
> I ain't going.


Op your relationship sounds dysfunctional and very unbalanced.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Tell her you're going. Don't lie or "forgrt to mention it"

Tell her you were think of going while she was away or you'll wait for her to come back and the two of you can go


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Oh we did. I told her tonight.
> 
> Guess what she said?
> 
> I ain't going.


That girl told you to not be a coward. And she told you not to be a pu$$y. So you talked to her. Then what, she forbid you to go? :rofl: just tell her you're going. Oh brother.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

and what's going to stop you going, seriously?
she's going away, what's she gonna do, lock you in the basement?


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

in my tree said:


> Hmm... well that's a damn shame. Why won't she go with you? I know it's not somewhere that she really wants to go but marriage is about compromise, right? I'll bet she would enjoy it with you once she got there.


Actually, she did offer to go but doesn't want to go to the big casinos, or watch the crazies... we just have different reasons for going. So I called my best friend and we're going to hit the glorious Oregon coast for the weekend- good food, sports, casino, good guy talk... I can live with that.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> and what's going to stop you going, seriously?
> she's going away, what's she gonna do, lock you in the basement?


Hmmmmmm...... not a bad idea.......


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> Actually, she did offer to go but doesn't want to go to the big casinos, or watch the crazies... we just have different reasons for going. So I called my best friend and we're going to hit the glorious Oregon coast for the weekend- good food, sports, casino, good guy talk... I can live with that.


Ok, so she said she'd like to go to Vegas with you, she's just not into the gambling scene, right? So she'd have a problem with you taking a few dollars (set amount agreed upon, and no more than that), and go to the casinos, while she spends the time with family? And NONE of the family goes to any of the casinos? Really? I find that hard to believe...


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

I don't think it's right for any spouse to decide what town their husband or wife can or can't visit. There are specific things in any city that I wouldn't approve of my husband doing(like going to a strip club or something), but I don't think there's a single place on this earth that I would absolutely forbid my husband to visit, with or without me. 

Have you tried forbidding your wife to go on trips without you? If not, then this is an extremely unfair double standard in your relationship.


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## woman (Aug 19, 2011)

Yeah exactly. Does she not trust you?


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