# Confused Husband looking for direction



## Hurting Hubby (Apr 28, 2021)

I know Husbands never ask for directions but this time I will make an exception.

So I think my wife and I are on a good path after what I considered a marriage ending issue. So in full disclosure in my mind right or wrong infidelity or betrayal is irreconcilable. There is no second chance. I have never cheated on anyone and I demand the same. 

We started to drift years ago. My wife stopped saying I love you for years. She would rarely attend birthday parties that our son was invited to and my family functions. It was so bad that at one point she did attend a family party one extended family member said "wow, there is a wife... We thought you husband was making you up"

My wife also stopped wearing her wedding ring claiming it was too tight. She has since gotten them resized but it took prodding from our son and me.

Last year she had all the school document s sent to her work email in what I feel was an attempt to cute out of my son's life. When we took my son to his tutor she handed the tutor my son's progress report. I asked when did we get that? She said it was on the counter, she opened it and put it amongst junk mail never telling me she received it.

When we were cleaning the house, I was cleaning the kitchen and she was cleaning the master bath. She left my sink and faucet uncleaned.

In church she refused to give me the sign of peace.

During this time my wife drank excessively. To her credit she has cut back dramatically on her drinking. I think because I was about to leave and she knew keeping custody would be a challenge with her alcoholism. 

One of my passions in life is flying. I am currently a student pilot. Whenever I mention it she shuts down and says I don't want to hear about it. We are blessed with financial security. I'm a financial executive who is a decent saver and investor so money is not a barrier to airplane ownership. This is still a sticking point. I don't mind if she does not want to fly with me but she gets angry when I fly. This has always been a lifelong dream to be a pilot and she knew this from the time we started dating.

Ok that was the background for my current situation. A couple of months ago we were looking for recipes on her phone and I noticed a Facebook group that she was in "Facebook meet-up" which is a Facebook hook-up group. Then I started to look at her Facebook account and there were several post disparaging me. She would not accept my friend request and now I could see why. This is where we had our big blowout. When I confronted her about this she said she accidentally hit the meet-up group which is a lie because in trying to see if I could accidentally hit join, they require a date of birth and two questions that must be answered before acceptance.

Knowing divorce in my mind was imminent she apologized. I insisted she apologize on facebook and indicate that she is married. She has and is no longer posting on Facebook. 

Our relationship is improving but I still feel betrayed and there is till the issue of flying. 

I have reached out to a marriage counselor but have yet to schedule a meeting. So my question to the community is what am I missing. I don't want a divorce but I will not be anyone's fool. Thank you in advance for your wisdom.

Ps I have absolutely nobody to talk with about this so thank you again.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I didn't want hernia surgery, but I got tired of the pain and having my guts bulging out my crotch. 

One divorces when the pain and suffering of staying outweighs the expense and fear of leaving. 

You seem to be picking your words very carefully and seem to be doing some kind of verbal judo so I will just come right out and ask - did she cheat?

And as far as the Facebook meet up group, don't let her use verbal judo on you...... she joined that group to hook up. Period. Otherwise she wouldn't have joined it. And you are correct in that one must take a number of conscious steps in order to join.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

You have a really serious problem. Some people who are or who have been in the same circumstance will be along to help. Until then, how old are you guys? How's the sex life?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Here's my thought regardless of whether she cheated or not - you two simply are not in a connected partnership and she is not meeting your expectations of what a spouse should be. You are roommates that have a child together. Otherwise your lives are on two completely separate paths. 

You say that your relationship has improved, but is that actually true or is she simply not acting as blatantly disregarding towards you to your face? 

Does she yearn to bond with you and strives daily to enter into your frame and be a part of your world? 

Does she have genuine burning desire for you and yearns to touch you and be close to you and want her body to melt together into yours? 

Does her face light up when you walk in the room. does her gaze meet your eyes and her voice soften and raise up an octave when you speak to her and she replies (maybe the first question I should ask is does she reply at all) 

She may not be a bad person and she may not sell meth to kids or kick puppies or cheat old ladies out of the social security checks, but that doesn't mean that she is meeting your needs as a spouse or be willing or even able to provide the kind of relationship and marriage that you need. 

To me, you two sound like you are simply sharing household chores and child rearing responsibilities together (and she may even be circumventing that)


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Judging by your post, I'd say what your missing is that she hates you. That's no joke.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

It doesn't sound like a life enhancing relationship. I'd be thinking seriously of divorce if I were you.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

You're not looking for direction. You're looking for affirmation that your course of action thus far is correct. You know it isn't.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> To me, you two sound like you are simply sharing household chores and child rearing responsibilities together (and she may even be circumventing that)


This is not a trick question, it is a sincere question for you to think about - Do you two need to legally married and in the same house in order to raise your son together? 

Would each of you be able to provide him love and support and be present and involved in his life from two different houses?

You're already leading two separate lives, would being in two different houses and being able to live your own lives and each of you seek your own happiness and contentment while providing him love and support and presence be attainable?

You mentioned her drinking, would she be a falling down drunk unable to properly care for her son if she were on her own?

Or would being on her own actually benefit her and help her live a more engaged and happy and sober life? Would SHE be better off living her own life when she is not expected to wear wedding rings and clean your faucet, give you peace signs in church or strap herself into airplanes?

I'm not saying you are a bad person or bad husband or that your expectations are unreasonable. But you two are on completely different wavelengths and different paths altogether. 

Would you each be better off and each be able to give your son the necessary love and support and presence in his life from two different houses?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Maya Angelou once said When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. look this will be hard to hear but nevertheless warrants hear it.....granted we are only hearing a sample of your relationship but what you share is that this is a woman who does not hate you, for that to happen she would have to be angry or mean at you, that is not the case she feels ambivalence towards you, she does not care enough to wear her ring, now show up at a family function...on top of that she is living a secret life you are not part of at all, in fact she choses to not include you in anything....counseling will not work her because she is completely divested from your marriage investment. at this point you should file for divorce and tell her she can either walk away from this marriage or work her ass off to save it. you can always stop the divorce process but at least it tells her you mean business, and you will know whether she is serious or not,


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She refuses to make the sign for peace at church? I think this calls for intervention from church leaders. Seriously.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

This is going sound somewhat sexist to the hard core feminists but most couples are the healthiest and the happiest when the woman has a sincere respect, admiration and genuine burning desire for the man and enters into his world. 

He reciprocates by loving her, supporting her, cherishing her above all others and providing for her wants and needs to the best of his ability. 

That may not quite fit into this current wave of feminism, but historically both men and women are happiest and healthiest in committed relationships when they are in that dynamic. 

That is clearly not taking place here. 

I do not agree that she hates you. She disregards you. 

Hate is still a strong, passionate and powerful emotion. What's taking place here is apathy and disregard (perhaps from BOTH people). I think apathy and disregard are actually worse.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

MattMatt said:


> She refuses to make the sign for peace at church? I think this calls for intervention from church leaders. Seriously.


IMHO if some church guy or some church lady starts telling her how should be feeling and how she should be reacting to the OP, that is almost a guaranteed motive for her to throw her bags in the car and be scarfing down moonpies watching the OP and the church fade away in the rearview mirror just like Roseland Pike in the movie Gone Girl.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

Edited: Changed my mind. I was parsing a quote unfairly.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Eh, no sign of peace at church goes beyond apathy and disregard.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

I am curious...during the time that your wife started retreating from you and stopped saying she loved you and wearing her ring, etc...did you ever have serious discussions about it and how it made you feel...?? 

If you did, what was her response?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> IMHO if some church guy or some church lady starts telling her how should be feeling and how she should be reacting to the OP, that is almost a guaranteed motive for her to throw her bags in the car and be scarfing down moonpies watching the OP and the church fade away in the rearview mirror just like Roseland Pike in the movie Gone Girl.


She wants to play Church Lady? Then she needs to read up on the rules of the game.


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## Manner1067 (Feb 22, 2021)

Again, we have an issue of self-respect here.

You are a successful executive with plenty of money. You also have some interesting hobbies (flying), and if you have kept yourself in shape, and work on your appearance, it puts you in the top 1% of men out there.

So why are you tolerating this level of disrespect and dishonesty from your wife? She obviously feels entitled and maybe a little bored. She is used to the good life, is lazy, and doesn't want to put anything into the marriage. She probably thinks that she has leverage and power over you--that if you go the divorce route, she can take you to the cleaners.

Not really. She might get a temporary payday, and some child support. But with your salary and connections, you will move beyond her, meet someone of quality, and the ex-wife will be a single mother who has fallen in terms of social and economic position. Your kid(s) will likely resent her, as the truth behind the breakup comes to light.

I don't recommend counseling: that typically turns into the therapist and your wife ganging up on you. Marriage counseling has a low success rate.

You need to be very logical and business-like about this. If you are the CEO of a major corporation, and a major division of that corporation is losing money, impacting the balance sheet, hurting the parent company's reputation, etc., you sell that division off. yes there will be some short-term pain, but it needs to be done.


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## Hurting Hubby (Apr 28, 2021)

My head is spinning. There are a bunch of questions here. I'm nearly certain that she has never cheated. I can't say how incase this ever shows up in court but I'm reasonably sure. 
Our sex life is actually really good. 3 times a week and fun. I think she thought she was bashing me on FB and that she could get sympathy from her friends? IDK? I told her it was over and I even starters to look at buying another home in town. I think that was when she knew this was real and wrote an apology on FB. I think she really wants to make this work.... I don't know where my head and heart is at. I still think I need time to process this.


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## Hurting Hubby (Apr 28, 2021)

Manner1067 said:


> Again, we have an issue of self-respect here.
> 
> You are a successful executive with plenty of money. You also have some interesting hobbies (flying), and if you have kept yourself in shape, and work on your appearance, it puts you in the top 1% of men out there.
> 
> ...


Wow this hits close to home... I thought this was anonymous 
I grew up in a divorced household and worked so hard for the perfect life....I wanted to avoid this at all costs.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

oldshirt said:


> This is going sound somewhat sexist to the hard core feminists but Most couples are the healthiest and the happiest when they have sincere respect, admiration and a genuine burning desire for each other and they build their word together.
> 
> They love, support, and cherish each other above all others and provide for each other's wants and needs to the best of their ability.
> 
> ...


I fixed it for you. You're welcome.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*
My wife also stopped wearing her wedding ring claiming it was too tight. She has since gotten them resized but it took prodding from our son and me.*

Wow this is beyond sad when a child has to try and fix his parents marriage, ask your WW how she feels about this, I've seen kids do this and it's heartbreaking to watch.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

So is she trying to fix it because she’s in a panic about her income stream getting ripped out from under her? Her actions leading up to now sound pretty bad.

If she doesn’t want to be there and she’s staying just to have an easy life while she treats you poorly what’s in it for you?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Your wife doesn’t respect nor honor you.
The marriage doesn’t look like a healthy marriage.
Stop trying to save it at all cost... when a spouse isn’t your best cheerleader/support system/confidant/and friend - there’s no reason to stay.
She looks like her alliance lies elsewhere... as in - she stays because you have money but she isn’t interested in you as a person she loves and respects.
It doesn’t look like she acts married.

PS - you shouldn’t need to beg for an apology on Facebook. That’s just ridiculous.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I see a lot of how horrible your wife is but zero regarding your part in the marriage.

If she took off her ring she was either having an affair or your marriage was in the toilet and that's pretty much never one person's fault.

So let's assume that she wasn't cheating.....what would your wife say about you as a husband?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

BlueWoman said:


> I fixed it for you. You're welcome.


Actually, I disagree.

I think it’s valid to note that various political and social ideologies with influence people’s outlooks and narratives on gender roles and marital dynamics. 

I believe that there are certain organic and instinctive programmings deep inside all of us that give us predisposition towards certain trends and dynamics and that men and women will typically follow certain general behaviors and reactions. 

That doesn’t mean we are slaves or powerless of our instincts, but rather will trend towards certain general responses over time.

Many current social and political movements will try to rewrite and challenge those traditional beliefs and try to deny many basic differences and trends of the genders and those narratives can influence people’s decisions and choices.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

So, the husband is perfect and the wife is a vile person... somehow, this picture seems a tad unbalanced to me.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> This is going sound somewhat sexist to the hard core feminists but most couples are the healthiest and the happiest when the woman has a sincere respect, admiration and genuine burning desire for the man and enters into his world.
> 
> He reciprocates by loving her, supporting her, cherishing her above all others and providing for her wants and needs to the best of his ability.
> 
> That may not quite fit into this current wave of feminism, but historically both men and women are happiest and healthiest in committed relationships when they are in that dynamic.


Oh man, where do I start? I would love to have a sincere respect, admiration and genuine burning desire for my husband .... Unfortunately, his behavior, - and many other husbands, does not warrant it. What you write about it - it is simply idealistic, assumes that if women respected and admired their husbands, marriages would be better. they would be, but it takes two to tango. The husband has to be worthy or that respect and admiration. And has to give it back.

this is not about political correctness or hard core feminism - it is about women having finally choice, and not being stuck with men, who are far from the ideal that you are trying to describe. And women being realistic, and not wanting to be dependant on someone in their life, because they saw their mothers stuck in unhappy marriages, without way out.
I spend most of my life trying to accommodate my husband - believe me, that did not make happy marriage. Now I am buying my own house, half the size, no need to accommodate anyone's moods and poutings, and swear never to get married again....


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## Manner1067 (Feb 22, 2021)

WandaJ said:


> Oh man, where do I start? I would love to have a sincere respect, admiration and genuine burning desire for my husband .... Unfortunately, his behavior, - and many other husbands, does not warrant it. What you write about it - it is simply idealistic, assumes that if women respected and admired their husbands, marriages would be better. they would be, but it takes two to tango. The husband has to be worthy or that respect and admiration. And has to give it back.
> 
> this is not about political correctness or hard core feminism - it is about women having finally choice, and not being stuck with men, who are far from the ideal that you are trying to describe. And women being realistic, and not wanting to be dependant on someone in their life, because they saw their mothers stuck in unhappy marriages, without way out.
> I spend most of my life trying to accommodate my husband - believe me, that did not make happy marriage. Now I am buying my own house, half the size, no need to accommodate anyone's moods and poutings, and swear never to get married again....


Well to play devil's advocate for a bit here ...

In our culture, men are respected, admired, and desired because of what they accomplish, what they have (wealth), their social status, and what they provide to a woman and her children

Women are respected and desired because they are women

One is a human doing, and the other is a human being

3rd wave feminism taught women that they should not be held accountable for anything, that the "rules" didn't apply to them, that they deserved top-tier men, regardless of their own personal qualities and accomplishments, and that the admiration of other women is far more important than the admiration of men. They have carved out a gynocentric culture for themselves.

Men these days complain that women sleep around with the most attractive men they can find when they are young (in their 20s mostly). Then, when their looks begin to fade, they get older and the window for having kids is closing, women change their standards and go find a "nice, reliable guy" who has some money and resources, in order to "settle-down" (settle being the operative word here). There is a brutal scene in the movie "A Promising Young Woman" where a woman explains to her friend that during Medical School, all the girls slept around and basically acted like sluts, but they ultimately found nice husbands later, and she makes it clear that the husbands have _no idea_ what their wives did back in the school days.

So it seems to me that you are complaining that your husband isn't the Prince Charming that you wanted, or the strapping alpha-guy you thought you were entitled to. He was probably a regular human being with good and bad qualities. His "behavior" is simply that of a regular guy, not some fantasy planted in women's brains about what they "deserve"

Believe me, guys these days aren't thrilled about having to settle for someone else's leftovers, or damaged goods, either. Some guys are still oblivious about this stuff, but many are waking up.

But yes, a good marriage requires mutual respect and admiration, and that can happen. But we have to work on our culture, or more bad marriages will be the norm


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Manner1067 said:


> Well to play devil's advocate for a bit here ...
> 
> In our culture, men are respected, admired, and desired because of what they accomplish, what they have (wealth), their social status, and what they provide to a woman and her children
> 
> ...


And here we are... how the hell do you know that my husband is nice, respectable guy, and I am entitled b..ch waiting for Prince Charming? What in my post made you believe that? Nothing. But your misogyny tells you that that’s tge way it is and women are just horrible creatures.
I’ve been here for years trying to save my marriage. If getting fed up with being someone’s hitting bag, being called names, yelled at, and walking on eggshells with my stomach in knots makes me me entitled, hard core feminist than be it.

women are not looking for Prince Charming, but we finally demand that respect goes both ways. 
and you talking about women sleeping around when they young - guys do tge same, why don’t you call them sluts? And they all mature and try to make better choice. That’s how it was always. Or it was better when only guys slept around and women were athome waitu g with dinner?
Like they say -if you privileged, others raising to your level seem like you got cheated..


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## Manner1067 (Feb 22, 2021)

WandaJ said:


> And here we are... how the hell do you know that my husband is nice, respectable guy, and I am entitled b..ch waiting for Prince Charming? What in my post made you believe that? Nothing. But your misogyny tells you that that’s tge way it is and women are just horrible creatures.
> I’ve been here for years trying to save my marriage. If getting fed up with being someone’s hitting bag, being called names, yelled at, and walking on eggshells with my stomach in knots makes me me entitled, hard core feminist than be it.
> 
> women are not looking for Prince Charming, but we finally demand that respect goes both ways.
> ...


but here are the misconceptions:

guys do NOT sleep around in college or in their 20s to the same degree as girls do. Men simply do not have the access to sex that women do, and most guys, even the handsome ones, are not banging girls left and right. The very top guys (top 10-20%) who are sexually aggressive and confident are doing that. The average guy is not. Likewise, most guys want serious relationships, or even to find a wife by the time they are in their early 20s.

Sheryl Sandberg has this advice for women:

* “When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”*

And women saw this and were like "yeah, makes perfect sense"!

Men don't want to marry someone's leftovers and be considered "sexy" because we are a walking ATM machine or a guy who changes diapers. The lack of self-awareness in Sandberg and other woman is astonishing

Men learn early on that when they "respect" women, put them on pedestals, admire them, compliment them, etc. are looked down on. That isn't being a "bad boy", "commitment-phobic", or "crazy".

the problem is not with women themselves: the problem is our culture.

Men have to seriously lower their expectations when it comes to dating and marriage, and view it as a high-risk endeavor. They need to banish romantic thoughts form their minds and realize that for most women, marriage is a business arrangement that is launched after she has had her "fun". For a vast majority of guys, they are not desirable as husbands and fathers. Look at the way fathers are portrayed in films and television: as fools, cucks, and lazy. 

Now I don't know what the situation is with your husband, but don't shoot the messenger. I'm simply putting some truths out there that people have a hard time swallowing


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

WandaJ said:


> Unfortunately, his behavior, - and many other husbands, does not warrant it. What you write about it - it is simply idealistic, assumes that if women respected and admired their husbands, marriages would be better. they would be, but it takes two to tango. The husband has to be worthy or that respect and admiration. And has to give it back.
> 
> this is not about political correctness or hard core feminism - it is about women having finally choice, and not being stuck with men, who are far from the ideal that you are trying to describe. And women being realistic, and not wanting to be dependant on someone in their life, because they saw their mothers stuck in unhappy marriages, without way out.


I agree 100%


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> So is she trying to fix it because she’s in a panic about her income stream getting ripped out from under her? Her actions leading up to now sound pretty bad.
> 
> *If she doesn’t want to be there and she’s staying just to have an easy life while she treats you poorly what’s in it for you?*


THIS...

This is actually the core issue with most relationships that end up unbalanced, and so many partners don't want to "see" this or choose to hide from it, to avoid having to make a difficult decision and take action and lose their hope.

It's understandable that people don't want to face this reality, but avoiding it is absolutely detrimental to being in an authentically loving relationship.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You may be a great business man but you fail terribly at seeing what is right in front your face concerning your “marriage”. Your wife hates you and cruises hook up sites. She only quit after getting caught. I don’t know how to say that in a more direct fashion.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> THIS...
> 
> This is actually the core issue with most relationships that end up unbalanced, and so many partners don't want to "see" this or choose to hide from it, to avoid having to make a difficult decision and take action and lose their hope.
> 
> It's understandable that people don't want to face this reality, but avoiding it is absolutely detrimental to being in an authentically loving relationship.


One you see on here is, “But half my money...”. Well here’s the thing your money is gone anyway whether you stay or leave. If you leave you maybe have the chance to get what you want and if you stay you know you don’t.

Halving it a couple times in a row though (as people I know have done IRL) ouch!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

ccpowerslave said:


> One you see on here is, “But half my money...”. Well here’s the thing your money is gone anyway whether you stay or leave. If you leave you maybe have the chance to get what you want and if you stay you know you don’t.


I’ve been chasing that windmill for years. It’s like yelling into the trees. 

Sure it’s a PITA to divvy up the furniture and pots and pans and if one has a SAH spouse, there will be child support and maybe even spousal support as well.

.... but that probably still cheaper in the long run than having them all under the same roof.

If you divvy up the property, assets and accounts etc in half, that happens ONCE. 

If you stay with them for years, there no limit on what they may acquire and cost you.

If you have to pay child or even spousal support, that amount is set at a court-ordered amount. You don’t have to pay a dime more than that. If someone wants something more than the monthly amount, you say, “sorry, I pay “X” $/month.

If you stay together, there truly is no limit to what they can all try to bleed out of you. 

My wife wife makes within a few thousand dollars/year of me,, yet I have shelled out countless thousands of dollars over the years to cover her expenses and her credit cards and new vehicles she has to have etc.

Oh and have I mentioned she is on a 7-year cycle where she wants to move to another house every handful of years??

And the kids??? Yeah the kids will ask for the sun and moon each new day. It never ends and there is no limit to what they will beg and plead for.

If I divorced, there’d be no spousal support as we make the same. I’d actually come out ahead because I wouldn’t have to cover her credit cards or buy a new car or house every handful of years. 

I could move into an efficient little townhouse or apt or something with a comfy chair, tv and live on chicken breasts and steamed vegetables and only pay for my meager expenses for the rest of my days.

And if I had to pay child support at all since our state is default shared custody, it would be on one 16 year old and when he wants a new crotch rocket, I would say I don’t have any money because I’m shelling out “X” amount to your mother every month so ask her. 

Divorce would actually benefit me financially in the long run and I think if a lot of these people actually crunched the numbers and looked at their situation in it’s entirety, the cost of freedom may at worst not be as bad as they think, and depending on variables, may actually be advantageous in the long run.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Manner1067 said:


> Well to play devil's advocate for a bit here ...
> 
> In our culture, men are respected, admired, and desired because of what they accomplish, what they have (wealth), their social status, and what they provide to a woman and her children
> 
> ...


Bitter goes best with a side of jelly donuts.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

WandaJ said:


> Oh man, where do I start? I would love to have a sincere respect, admiration and genuine burning desire for my husband .... Unfortunately, his behavior, - and many other husbands, does not warrant it. What you write about it - it is simply idealistic, assumes that if women respected and admired their husbands, marriages would be better. they would be, but it takes two to tango. The husband has to be worthy or that respect and admiration. And has to give it back.
> 
> this is not about political correctness or hard core feminism - it is about women having finally choice, and not being stuck with men, who are far from the ideal that you are trying to describe. And women being realistic, and not wanting to be dependant on someone in their life, because they saw their mothers stuck in unhappy marriages, without way out.
> I spend most of my life trying to accommodate my husband - believe me, that did not make happy marriage. Now I am buying my own house, half the size, no need to accommodate anyone's moods and poutings, and *swear never to get married again..*..


You swear to never get married again...

Uh, huh...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

oldshirt said:


> I’ve been chasing that windmill for years. It’s like yelling into the trees.
> 
> Sure it’s a PITA to divvy up the furniture and pots and pans and if one has a SAH spouse, there will be child support and maybe even spousal support as well.
> 
> ...


Most can agree, half of horrible beats the _Full Monty._
The full monthly blues.

What's holding you back?


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## hplove (Jan 19, 2021)

Enough was said about you and your wife, i wont add anything to that..
I just wanted to let you know that I have only cried out of happiness a couple of times in my life, and one of those times was the day i got my pilots lic. Dont you stop that, and do not let her stop you. Flying is something you need to do for you!


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