# Completely blindsided and met with nothing by resistance.



## purebloke

A few weeks ago, I thought I had the perfect life. My spirits were high as I loved my family, loved my home and life was good. What I didn’t realize is that my wife did not feel the same way.
One week ago, out of the blue, she said to me “We have to talk... I don’t love you anymore. I’ve been feeling this way for a long time… for 5 or 6 years. I’m done and I want a divorce”
All I could feel was pure shock. I could not believe what I was hearing. All I could say was “Are you serious?
She continued to say “You are a wonderful father, a wonderful person, and we work really good as a team, but I just don’t love you anymore.” “I’m actually quite surprised that you didn’t see this coming”
Just a few months ago we celebrated our 10 year anniversary and reflected on our life and our 2 beautiful boys. Sure, we had our issues in the past years but when we tried to talk, it was always excused or brushed off as stress, life changes or other understandable situations.
Over the last week I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions and when we have tried to talk she’s said that she does not want to work through it and nothing is going to change the way she feels. She is completely resistant to the idea of working on anything while I would do just about ANYTHING to fix whatever our issues are.
With the little that I’ve been able to get out of her, I have discovered that there is a lot of resentment for working on a failing business too long when we were struggling financially and not stepping up, while in the meantime, she found something that she was able to gain great success at, so we (or so I thought) decided I would help her succeed and support her to get to where she is today.
I obviously can’t change the past, but if she had talked to me earlier, I would have made changes to prevent this.
She knows I am not ready to give up and that bugs her. She’s agreed to one counseling session for my benefit, but in her opinion it’s not going to change anything and it’s merely to help me understand so we can stay friends. 
Is there any hope for us? Is there any way to get past this barrier that she has put up?


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## bandit.45

Is there hope? Yes. 

Find out who she is cheating on you with.


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## barbados

bandit.45 said:


> Is there hope? Yes.
> 
> Find out who she is cheating on you with.


sad but probably true. just another way for her to say ILYBINILWU.


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## LongWalk

Look at the cell phone bill.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jerry123

A woman usually won't give up a wonderful person and father. Unless there was someone else to fall back on. That's why people are posting about a possible affair. 

It happens a lot if you read the stories on here. 

Don't ask her if there is someone else. Do your own investigating. Cell phone records will reveal tons of info. 

Does she work, go out with her gf friends?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## purebloke

It crossed my mind at first, and I did ask, but of course the answer was no.

I just don't see that happening as we both work from home and are together most of the time. She hardly ever goes out and really does not hide anything from me. She lives on FB for her business, but whenever I get on it to fix something for her, she is not concerned about anything being seen.

She did say once when we were talking that she connects with other people more than she does me, and that she has gotten a glimps of how happy she could be.

I guess with her stubborness and complete lack of resolve, I just wonder what can be done at this point. I've dedicated the last 10 years to our relationship and I can't imagine giving it up just like that. It hurts me that she can (although I know she has thought about this a lot longer than I have).


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## GusPolinski

purebloke said:


> It crossed my mind at first, and I did ask, but of course the answer was no.
> 
> I just don't see that happening as we both work from home and are together most of the time. She hardly ever goes out and really does not hide anything from me. She lives on FB for her business, but whenever I get on it to fix something for her, she is not concerned about anything being seen.
> 
> She did say once when we were talking that *she connects with other people more than she does me, and that she has gotten a glimps of how happy she could be.*
> 
> I guess with her stubborness and complete lack of resolve, I just wonder what can be done at this point. I've dedicated the last 10 years to our relationship and I can't imagine giving it up just like that. It hurts me that she can (although I know she has thought about this a lot longer than I have).


Exactly.


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## GusPolinski

bandit.45 said:


> Is there hope? Yes.
> 
> Find out who she is cheating on you with.





barbados said:


> sad but probably true. just another way for her to say ILYBINILWU.





LongWalk said:


> Look at the cell phone bill.





jerry123 said:


> A woman usually won't give up a wonderful person and father. Unless there was someone else to fall back on. That's why people are posting about a possible affair.
> 
> It happens a lot if you read the stories on here.
> 
> Don't ask her if there is someone else. Do your own investigating. Cell phone records will reveal tons of info.
> 
> Does she work, go out with her gf friends?


:iagree: x 4


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## LongWalk

She is open to riding a new horse to the rodeo and it ain't you. She may even have test ridden it.

It is possible that she has simply lost respect for you as a provider. Can you get another job.


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## lifeistooshort

Well what have you guys done to connect better? How much time you send together that's not work or kid related?


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## SamuraiJack

purebloke said:


> One week ago, out of the blue, she said to me “We have to talk... I don’t love you anymore. I’ve been feeling this way for a long time… for 5 or 6 years. I’m done and I want a divorce”
> She continued to say “You are a wonderful father, a wonderful person, and we work really good as a team, but I just don’t love you anymore.” “I’m actually quite surprised that you didn’t see this coming”


This is spoken like a woman who has "given everything she has" but has lost respect for you. 
I think in this situation, cheating may be prevalent, but its secondary to the idea that she really seems to have converted her loss of respect for you into the best wall she can.

Even now, she is probably reinforcing that wall, possibly with help from a lover, toxic friends, or a message board like this one...except less helpful.

I suggest you wander over to the coping with Infidelty section and brush up on "The 180"...There wont be any reconciliation until you get a handle on what is ACTUALLY happening.

Make sure your read the standard evidence thread.

Now git!


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## Sandie

Why does everyone says she's CHEATING?

There is nothing to suggest that at all.

She's fallen out of love, it happens!


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## SamuraiJack

Sandie said:


> Why does everyone says she's CHEATING?
> 
> There is nothing to suggest that at all.
> 
> She's fallen out of love, it happens!


I never said she was cheating...I just said it was one of a few possibilities.


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## onlysunshine

I agree - I can identify with the wife. Not cheating.


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## lifeistooshort

Sandie said:


> Why does everyone says she's CHEATING?
> 
> There is nothing to suggest that at all.
> 
> She's fallen out of love, it happens!



Because that's the mantra of TAM. Barring abuse, and even then sometimes, the only reason women leave is for other men. Sometimes that's the case and sometimes it isn't, but the men here seem to have difficulty comprehending that women are quite capable of leaving for reasons other then another man. 

I second samurai jack's assessment that she has lost respect. You were blindsided but in your wife's mind it's probably been a long time coming, and the fact that you were blindsided means that either she found another man or something very tramatic happened to her, or she tried to communicate and you blew it off. That's quite common, many men think if they're getting sex everything is fine and her complaints are no big deal, but when they don't get sex the primary focus is on sex. But by then many women are already detached.

You need to find out which one of these scenarios caused this so you can address it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor

I, like you had my life completely flip up-side-down, eight years ago. My wife was retreating from me faster than I could imagine. I got the ILYBANILWY speech and simply believed she had disconnected, it was all my fault and there wasn't another man involved. I was dead wrong on all three. 

As stated above, you need to investigate til you are satisfied that she is not involved with another man. Unfortunately, you can prove infidelity but not ever really rule it out. Follow the recommendations in the suggested resources. Only when you have done this to your satisfaction will you really know what you are up against. Recovering a walk-away-wife is possible. Recovering one that is involved with someone else is not. If there is an affair, it must end or you will never recover.

Read Dobson's "Love Must be Tough" to learn how to deal with a retreating wife. In short, don't chase her, don't dote on her, don't beg, grovel or promise your undying love and commitment. Work on yourself, not your marriage. You cannot win her back with words, only with actions. But the things you choose to address must be things you know you need to work on to be a better man, father and partner. Don't buy into some BS laundry list she gives you as your faults. Separate the wheat from the chafe and don't try to fix everything under the sun. My wife was just as emotionally disconnected as yours but when she saw my determination, confidence and commitment to my family in my actions, she slowed down her retreat.

You are about to get schooled on some "Tough Love" yourself here. It can be brutal but you must consider carefully the advice you get and apply what seems to truly fit your situation, even if your heart tells you differently. 

Is she in an affair? Sadly as a moderator on this forum for 7 years, it's likely she is. It might not even be anyone she has met IRL but can be just as deadly to a marriage as a physical affair. No matter how it happens, when a spouse emotionally connects to someone else, the marital death rattle is not far behind.

Can it be saved? Yes, my wife and I recovered after a very long reconciliation. We are still together and very happy in our marriage. A lot of our success, I owe to TAM. Listen to all the advice you get here and sort it out as best you can. Good luck.


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## tom67

I'm not saying she is cheating either but like others have said rule it out first please.
Check the phone bill.
Maybe put one voice activated recorder in her car and one in the house.
I hope you find nothing.


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## Mr.Fisty

lifeistooshort said:


> Because that's the mantra of TAM. Barring abuse, and even then sometimes, the only reason women leave is for other men. Sometimes that's the case and sometimes it isn't, but the men here seem to have difficulty comprehending that women are quite capable of leaving for reasons other then another man.
> 
> I second samurai jack's assessment that she has lost respect. You were blindsided but in your wife's mind it's probably been a long time coming, and the fact that you were blindsided means that either she found another man or something very tramatic happened to her, or she tried to communicate and you blew it off. That's quite common, many men think if they're getting sex everything is fine and her complaints are no big deal, but when they don't get sex the primary focus is on sex. But by then many women are already detached.
> 
> You need to find out which one of these scenarios caused this so you can address it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I wonder how strong the relationship portion was. Did they foster intimacy? Sounds highly unlikely. Was the communication open on both sides,doubtful.

Whether she is cheating or not, it is not a certainty. Being a good father does not foster a relationship, nor does being a good provider. Those are good traits, but what about the relationship aspect, the reason why couples decide to marry.

Someone else on another site said his relationship to his wife of 32 years is like a home. At first, it is exciting and new. Neglect the house, and it falls into disrepair. Gutters need cleaning, rooms need painting, and a whole list of issues appear. A house, like a relationship takes work to maintain and keep beautiful.

If she is cheating or not, there is a probability. Until it is confirmed, it remains a probability.

What makes a marriage from roommates to a thriving relationship is the level of intimacy and bringing back the romantic love on occasion. You have sex, you can get that from a FWB. Your a great father/mother, that relationship is a parental one. You take care of a home together, that is more of a roommate role. A couple needs a deep intimate connection, with some romantic love introduced, or it turns into a friendship attachment. Eventually over time, the love a couple feels, can end up feeling like a love a brother shares for a sister, or that of parent and child, then things like sex becomes like duty in its intensity. Couples that eventually lose attraction state it is like they are having a relationship to a family member, hence the romantic love needs to reoccur.


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## chaos

purebloke, the more you resist your wife's decision to divorce you, the more she will want it. If there is any chance for your marriage to be saved, it MAY come from your acceptance of ending it and confidence that you will fine no matter the outcome.

Your neediness only feeds her ego and the belief that if things don't work out, purebloke will be there as Plan B.


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## lifeistooshort

chaos said:


> purebloke, the more you resist your wife's decision to divorce you, the more she will want it. If there is any chance for your marriage to be saved, it MAY come from your acceptance of ending it and confidence that you will fine no matter the outcome.
> 
> Your neediness only feeds her ego and the belief that if things don't work out, purebloke will be there as Plan B.


I agree. Begging or pushing for reconciliation lets them know you are available to be plan B and will wait for them to dither and weigh options. Other man or not you might consider making her decision for her and showing her the door.....when you make the decision for her she may reconsider. And certainly rule out someone else, but even if you find one and both of you decide you want to reconcile the issues in your marriage will need to be dealt with.

She's either in or out, and if she's not in show her the door.


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## chaos

purebloke, one other thing I would like to point out to you, is that often the spouse who is pushing for divorce, expresses a desire - maybe out of guilt for ending the marriage - to "still be friends" with their STBXS. If your wife does this, please consider respectfully declining her offer and conveying to her that you will strive to successfully co-parent with her but nothing more. Remember, that if the divorce becomes a reality, you would do well to treat her as though she has died.


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## bandit.45

Sandie said:


> *Why does everyone says she's CHEATING?
> 
> There is nothing to suggest that at all.*
> 
> She's fallen out of love, it happens!


Experience. 

For those of us who have been on this site for years, the OP's story is nothing new. We have seen this same story time and time and time again. 90% of the time there is a third party involved.


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## BlueWoman

I gotta say. If I had found this site when my exh said he was done, they would have told me...he's cheating. And they would have been right. It just never occurred to me that he was capable of that. But I have to say. I wish I had known at the time, instead of finding out much later. I think it would have saved me some grief in the long run. 

For your own sake, please investigate if she is having an affair. If she's not, then great. If she is, fore warned is fore armed.


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## phillybeffandswiss

lifeistooshort said:


> Because that's the mantra of TAM.


One of many. '


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## purebloke

SamuraiJack said:


> This is spoken like a woman who has "given everything she has" but has lost respect for you.
> I think in this situation, cheating may be prevalent, but its secondary to the idea that she really seems to have converted her loss of respect for you into the best wall she can.
> 
> Even now, she is probably reinforcing that wall, possibly with help from a lover, toxic friends, or a message board like this one...except less helpful.
> 
> I suggest you wander over to the coping with Infidelty section and brush up on "The 180"...There wont be any reconciliation until you get a handle on what is ACTUALLY happening.
> 
> Make sure your read the standard evidence thread.
> 
> Now git!


SamuraiJack, you hit the nail on the head.

It's been a hard road the last few weeks but I am finally putting the pieces together.

I believe she has lost a great deal of respect for me and I can't believe I didn't see it. I thought I was doing what she wanted (she always told people she was so fortunate to be able to make enough to keep me at home to help with the kids and the house), but didn't see the other side. 

Not only as a provider does she see me as a failure (she didn't say that outright, but I can read between the lines now), but in a social aspect, she feels "that I am not her equal in a room with others". Her business and life is ALL about the social role and mine is not. I don't have many opportunities to interact with people so when we are together I am reserved and shy because that is my automatic response. I CAN be charismatic and have been in the past, but now I am afraid I wont have the opportunity to show her that. 

I know also that I have been smothering her. Not intentionally, but because she has been playing the role of "nothing is wrong" and we both work from home together there has been TOO MUCH time around each other.

Because of all this, yes, she has developed a "friendship", as she calls it, with another guy. I don't believe there has been any infidelity so to speak, but I do believe that she has been confiding in him and chatting with him for support.

I have been doing my research and trying to come up with a plan. Thinking of getting a job to show my dedication and to give her space and trying to be positive and friendly. 

She continues to push hard to make it official though so that she can "move on", "plan ahead" and so I don't "get confused".

We are both at home and it's been so hard for me because I know how she really feels and she has been VERY distant and private, complete opposite of what was before she let it out. It's hard to stay positive around her and act as if nothing is going on, and besides my plan to get a job in an effort to regain respect, I'm not sure of what I can do.

Your suggestion of toxic friends is right. We live in a VERY shallow community and her industry is the same and I know the people that she are talking to are guiding her to get out, and not work on anything. 

I feel that time, feelings, emotions and outside influences are all working against me. 

Any suggestions moving forward?


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## Nomorebeans

Please read The 180. Google it.

My STBX said all the same stuff to me as the speech your wife first gave you - almost verbatim. We have been together 25 years and have a 13-year-old son. That "You should have seen this coming" line you mentioned her saying sent chills (not in a good way) down my spine. That was his parting shot when he first told me he wanted to move out. I asked if there were someone else, and he said no, he just wanted to "move on."

I found out in February that he's been having an affair since the previous September. He gave me the speech your wife gave you in October. And I only found out in February because the OW texted and called him in rapid succession while I was sitting on the couch with him watching a movie.

Again, please read The 180. And pay it heed. I haven't gotten my STBX back by following it, but I've maintained my dignity and sanity. We are divorcing, and it's a hard road, but I'm coming to accept it and starting to be able to move on after two excruciatingly painful months.

My STBX "wants to be friends," too. I told him I'll coparent with him without animosity, drama, or strife. But I will never be his friend again.

Tell her that if she'd like to move out, you'll help her pack.


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## purebloke

Thank you all for your comment. Especially Amplexor, Mr.Fisty, and Nomorebeans. 

I have come to some realizations this morning. She has me at a disadvantage because she instigated this and I have done nothing but fight to be understanding and reasonable. 

Not to mention that we have worked together to build HER business and I have helped her get to a position that makes her the provider and she feels accomplished for it. *I* would have to be the one to leave as she feels this is all hers.

I know now how much she has lost respect for me and how all of my actions are feeding that loss of respect. She is looking for justification of her actions and I feel that any efforts I might make to remedy things, even if they are for myself, would just cause her to believe I was only acting to "win her back".

On the other hand, I also wonder if implicating the 180 Plan, or to move out, might also justify her actions and make it easier for her to move away.

She has lost all commitment and she doesn't feel that her "friendship" with another person is wrong. I feel betrayed, and I know that what Amplexor said is right. "No matter how it happens, when a spouse emotionally connects to someone else, the marital death rattle is not far behind."

But if she feels that it's not even a concern and she is "done with me" or feels that I'm a Plan B. Is that it? 

Kinda feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Extreme conflict here.


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## LongWalk

You have a lot of insight into the dynamics of your failed relationship. It's fair to say that you see that it must change. But once you've been fired, you cannot get into the office because your security card no longer admits you.

You have been shut out. Begging to stay married won't work. You think your wife has not gone physical with OM. Many have been wrong on this count.

1) Put the 180 into effect
2) the 180 only works well once to get a WAW's attention, so do not let her suck you into meaningless relationship discussion.

At the same time do not radiate your hurt feelings. Fake it till you make it.

3) Stop supporting her career. Get a full time job. Go to work at Home Depot or wherever you can so that you interact socially.

4) file for divorce. If you have been taking care of your kids, you may have a right to spousal support

5) respect yourself. Don't try and impress her. She may marry OM and live happily ever after. OM may not pan out. She may or may not want you back, but at this point moving on with your head up is your only good option. 

Don't let her drive you off like a whipped dog that keeps hanging round until a hail stones rains down.


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## purebloke

Yep. I've stood strong through all of this, but I guess it's time to stand tall and step back with the 180.


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## Decorum

purebloke said:


> On the other hand, I also wonder if implicating the 180 Plan, or to move out, might also justify her actions and make it easier for her to move away.


Don't move out or go away. You would be selling yourself short. If you don't respect what you have contributed how will she?


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## Nomorebeans

I've had great difficulty fully detaching, like The 180 says to do. Let me help you not make the mistake I have of being pretty consistent with it, then having a really dark day in which I feel like I'm barely breathing, and ending up letting him know, again, how much he's hurt me by betraying me. 

It never serves to do anything to do that except make them want to be with the other person that much more, because that person does nothing but stroke their ego (and probably other things) continuously, and to validate their feelings that they need to get away from you.

Let me also tell you a very powerful thing I said to my STBX shortly after I found out about the affair that really changed his defensive, closed-off attitude towards me. I read it in an article not unlike The 180, and while it didn't make him decide to stay and work on the marriage, it did make him stop acting like a jerk. I said, "I would prefer it if you would stop seeing her and stay and work on our marriage. But I know that's impossible - I absolutely do - and I understand why you want to leave. So if you want to file for divorce and move out, I will not stand in your way."

This article said something very powerful that's helped me a lot in my darkest moments since D-Day. It said that staying married to the person you're married to is not a need. It's a preference. That's all that it is. I don't need to stay married to my STBX. I used to prefer to, but I didn't need to. I don't need him to love me. I used to prefer that he still would enough to stay, but I didn't need him to. Say it to yourself when things get darkest: I would prefer that she stay in the marriage and be happy with me in it, but I do not need her to do that. It's just a preference. That's all that it is.

It's very dark now, believe me, I know. But you will eventually come to a place that I'm nearing the threshold of where you will realize that staying with someone who values you so little that they could form an emotional bond like this with someone else with no remorse whatsoever about your feelings about that is, as someone here said to me a few weeks ago, defeating and impossible.

You deserve to be with someone who values you and your wedding vows.


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## LongWalk

Oh, yeah. Hit the gym. Build you upper body. Get in killer shape.

In the evenings, dress neatly and go out. Find something to do. Art gallery exhibition opening, indie band, ornithology lecture, .22 rifle range, whatever. Stay active.


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## purebloke

Nomorebeans said:


> I said, "I would prefer it if you would stop seeing her and stay and work on our marriage. But I know that's impossible - I absolutely do - and I understand why you want to leave. So if you want to file for divorce and move out, I will not stand in your way."


After a lot of emotions and working the 180 and trying to accept what was happening, I finally found clarity and was able to get a hold of myself. I noticed that she was being EXTRA dark with me, so I confronted her and found out she was being this way so that I wouldn't get the idea that I could "fix things". I was able to express myself without emotions and ended saying pretty much exactly what you mentioned. 

I realized fighting, being distant, detaching, or acting like nothing was bothering me were not going to work. The only thing to do was to tell her how I felt and then move on so she could let down the wall.



Nomorebeans said:


> It's very dark now, believe me, I know. But you will eventually come to a place that I'm nearing the threshold of where you will realize that staying with someone who values you so little that they could form an emotional bond like this with someone else with no remorse whatsoever about your feelings about that is, as someone here said to me a few weeks ago, defeating and impossible.
> 
> You deserve to be with someone who values you and your wedding vows.


Although the hurt is still there, we've been able to move forward. I don't like the idea and my "preference" hasn't changed, but you are absolutely right... I feel I deserve more.

Life at home has been peaceful and light once again and we're working together moving forward toward going our own ways.

I appreciate ALL the help and support from everyone. It has been a tremendous help and comfort!


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## purebloke

Oh my gosh, you guys were totally right... My curiousity got the better of me and how secretive she was with her phone. I figured I better know all the facts if I'm go along with this. I found a chat program viber that she used to talk to one person, HIM. 

She *IS* having an affair and I was outraged and sickened going through the messages. They talk about love, and their future together and they speak as if they have been intimate!

I was finally accepting at at peace with all this, but that was when I thought she was thinking clearly and we can to an agreement together. Now, I know she's being driven by something else. What is worse is he is leaving his wife too over this!

I am at a loss. I tried to sleep, but I can not process this. WOW!


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## EasyPartner

purebloke said:


> Oh my gosh, you guys were totally right... My curiousity got the better of me and how secretive she was with her phone. I figured I better know all the facts if I'm go along with this. I found a chat program viber that she used to talk to one person, HIM.
> 
> She *IS* having an affair and I was outraged and sickened going through the messages. They talk about love, and their future together and they speak as if they have been intimate!
> 
> I was finally accepting at at peace with all this, but that was when I thought she was thinking clearly and we can to an agreement together. Now, I know she's being driven by something else. What is worse is he is leaving his wife too over this!
> 
> I am at a loss. I tried to sleep, but I can not process this. WOW!


Purebloke, 

Of course you're at a loss right now. Who wouldn't. It may take a few weeks or even months for you to feel better. But trust me, you will.

In the mean time, stay with the 180. It will probably not get your wife back, but it will get YOU back on track.

Your wife's infidelity doesn't change anything really. It's one more side effect of her WAW syndrome, nothing more. You may want too Google that, too.

Stay the course, brother.


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## bandit.45

I'm sorry to hear that Purebloke. Confront her then tell her family what she has been up to. Do not let her paint you as the bad guy, because she WILL try to trash you in front of your families. I guarantee.

And do not let her spin it that "well our marriage was already over so its not really cheating..." She will try that spin too. No, she destroyed the marriage with her cheating. Make sure everyone knows that.

I cannot emphasize how important it is that you protect your reputation from her. If you do not you will sorely regret it down the road. 

Do you trust us yet? Are you ready to follow our advice?


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## naiveonedave

OP - please follow bandit's advice or else it will all be seen as your fault by family and friends. It will be that you drove her to cheat and break up your marriage. Timing is of the essence.

she is rewriting marital history already, so that she can compartmentalize her affair.


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## BlueWoman

Oh I am so sorry. 
You have got some good advice here.

I just no how much this sucks. But I am letting you know...that as bad as it gets...and it gets pretty bad. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will and does get better. I promise.


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## bandit.45

Purebloke are you okay?


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## bandit.45

Purebloke if you are lucid enough, send a private message to one of the administrators and ask them to transfer this thread over to the Coping With Infidelity forum.


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## GusPolinski

purebloke said:


> Oh my gosh, you guys were totally right... My curiousity got the better of me and how secretive she was with her phone. I figured I better know all the facts if I'm go along with this. I found a chat program viber that she used to talk to one person, HIM.
> 
> She *IS* having an affair and I was outraged and sickened going through the messages. They talk about love, and their future together and they speak as if they have been intimate!
> 
> I was finally accepting at at peace with all this, but that was when I thought she was thinking clearly and we can to an agreement together. Now, I know she's being driven by something else. *What is worse is he is leaving his wife too over this!*
> 
> I am at a loss. I tried to sleep, but I can not process this. WOW!


It's very likely that OMW is in the dark w/ respect to OM's extramarital activities. Be sure to reach out to her and get her up to speed.


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## GusPolinski

EasyPartner said:


> Purebloke,
> 
> Of course you're at a loss right now. Who wouldn't. It may take a few weeks or even months for you to feel better. But trust me, you will.
> 
> In the mean time, stay with the 180. It will probably not get your wife back, but it will get YOU back on track.
> 
> *Your wife's infidelity doesn't change anything really. It's one more side effect of her WAW syndrome, nothing more. You may want too Google that, too.*
> 
> Stay the course, brother.


Uhhh... it's likely what instigated her "WAW syndrome" in the first place.

Derp.


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