# My Husband's Drinking



## carina

IAM 29 year old and I am married for 5 months my husband 24years old told me he had a drinking problem when he was younger. I love him and we never had a problem till last wkend that was his brother bday and his son in Tennessee first soccer game that he said he was sad and want to drink a couple beers became all night till 4 am. I had work that sat Morin and decide to stay home and fix that problem. the issue that his family drink every weekend and we live in there house same lot. now am scared of working late this weekend and him drinking , we talk abut this and he said he wasn't but I cant help been scared. hes a great guy but that night no matter what I said he did not stop drinking and disrespect me verbally. I need some advice , ibeen threw a lot with other relationship and he knows that, he the only one I married no kids and I want start a happy marriage. what can I do to be a supportive wife without the argument to start.


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## Machjo

carina said:


> IAM 29 year old and I am married for 5 months my husband 24years old told me he had a drinking problem when he was younger. I love him and we never had a problem till last wkend that was his brother bday and his son in Tennessee first soccer game that he said he was sad and want to drink a couple beers became all night till 4 am. I had work that sat Morin and decide to stay home and fix that problem. the issue that his family drink every weekend and we live in there house same lot. now am scared of working late this weekend and him drinking , we talk abut this and he said he wasn't but I cant help been scared. hes a great guy but that night no matter what I said he did not stop drinking and disrespect me verbally. I need some advice , ibeen threw a lot with other relationship and he knows that, he the only one I married no kids and I want start a happy marriage. what can I do to be a supportive wife without the argument to start.


You can't force him to stop drinking, but you can support him. You can ask him how you can help him to stop drinking. For example, if others pressure him to drink and he resists, you can jump in and tell them he doesn't want to drink. If they're family, you can ask him if they know of his past drinking problem. If he says they don't, you might ask him if he wants you to tell them so that they will respect his personal space with alcohol.

If he finds it difficult to not drink when you drink, you might agree to go teetotaler with him so that he's not alone. You can inform him of the Alcoholics Anonymous website if that might help. There may be other ways you can help too. But in the end, he has to want to stop drinking.


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## chillymorn69

Was this a one off thing? 

Or does he drink often?

If he drinks like this often then he has a big problem.


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## SoFlaGuy

carina said:


> ..... my husband 24years old told me he had a drinking problem when he was younger.....


If he had a problem when he was younger he still has a problem, the cure is abstinence. I quit 29 years ago and it saved my life, more then half of my friends from those days are dead. Hopefully, he will get help but if he doesn't you will need to move on for your own well being.


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## Machjo

I'll add that if all else fails and you must move on, take care of your mental health. Divorce can be a traumatizing experience for some. One solution in such a case could be to legally and sexually separate from him while reassuring him that you won't apply for divorce for at least a year after separation. Firstly, it benefits him by giving him the motivation to turn his life around to win you back. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, it benefits you and your mental health. To go from married to divorced can be a brutal mental shock to a person. To legally and sexually separate from him with an agreement that you will not apply for divorce for at least a year afterwards can make the break feel less sudden and more gradual. Firstly, it could prevent divorce in the end. Secondly, even if it fails to prevent divorce, at least it allows you to go from married to divorced in a more gradual and less shocking manner to your system.


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## shaillythomas

Regular and too much drinking is a bad habit and it is not good for health, if he drinks only weekend, it is ok, support him and talk to him to avoid to drink every weekend


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## Rhubarb

Two questions:

Does he drink a lot, or was this a rare occasion?

Exactly how does he verbally disrespect you? Does he simply blow off your request, or does he actually call you some nasty names?


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