# The imaginary journal of my stbxw



## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Sorry to continue to obsess over this but I thought I might as well have some fun with it. Please bear with me as I create the imaginary journal of my stbxw.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Separation Day.

FINALLY!! Freedom. FREEEDOM!!! Oh, I am so glad to be free of the shackles of my no good H. Mr "great father". BORING! Sheesh he wants to have sex ALL THE TIME. Who does he think he is? POSOM1? Good thing I have been denying him for the past two months - hahahahahaha. I am such a modern, confident woman! 

DAMMIT - I have a line around my eye. A 1/4 inch long crowsfoot. DAMN YOU H!!!! Oh well, nothing $575 of Botox won't cure. Are my tits OK? Do they look OK??? ohhhh I am a mess!

Oh well, now I am free to pursue OM2. I will marry him and we will have great sex every morning and evening, and every night we will watch the unicorns fly off into the rainbows.

Toodles!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Move out day.

Well, H did a pretty good job of getting the condo set up.... SUCKER.

Why can't H take the girls every Saturday night. I will have them every other weekend. Whew! Every other weekend is gonna be tough on my night clubbing. Ohhh the sacrifices I make in order to be a SUPER mom. 

Well, better get to work. I've invited OM2 over to the place for dinner on TUESDAY. Hopefully I will have sex with him in my new bed.

Tata for now!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Ohhh, I am so bummed. I wore my best outfit with stripper heels and OM2 still did not take the hint. What do I have to do to have sex with this man? DAMMIT. What's a girl gotta do to get laid in this town? My GF's and I go dancing dancing dancing and all we can pickup are the straggling losers and a few STD's. I think I'll call POSOM1. His wife just had a baby, so I bet he is dying to have sex again!!

TTFN!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

#$%&*#@**&!!!

H called OM2 and told him I am 48 and a mother of two girls and that we had just split 4 days ago. WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS? My husband???? Now OM2, who was 10 when I married is thinking I'm too old. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Now OM2 is scared because I look like a psycho. So what if he thought I was 35 and single. I never lied. I never said I wasn't married. I never denied having two girls if he asked.

My H is ruining my life.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Tuesday:

Another busy day in the life of a Supermom. Got the girls up. Made them toast. Packed a lunch and drove them to school. Then I went into the office, googled OM2 and then came home before noon.

Got the place ready, got into my best undies and waited for POSOM1 to show up. We had sex in the living room and I gave him the BEST blowjob. Then we moved into the bedroom. Daughter is staying there but it IS my bedroom. Gave POSOM1 another bj and then he made me lie on my stomach while he inserted that thingy into my a-hole. IT HURT! Then he started pumping it up. Ouch! POSOM1 wouldn't let me complain - he is angry that H contacted him last Oct and asked to have a conversation. He is taking his anger out on my sphincter muscles. DAMN YOU H!! Later, I gave POSOM1 my anal virginity. It hurt, but I thought of OM2 and it felt better. Good thing POSOM1's **** is thinner and smaller than H's!! And it's all his too!! POSOM1 is really quite thoughtful. As he was pumping he told me "If it bleeds, I'll let you know". What a wonderful man. Almost as wonderful as OM2. 

Too bad POSOM1 is married again with a child. It's not wrong to bang a man who is married. After all, I am a modern, confident woman. That is why I am face down with a butt plug up my rear.

Toodles!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Tuesday: OHHHHH, I am so devastated and in the depths of despair. No, I am not feeling guilty about leaving my family or missing my daughter's birthday or lying and cheating for years. I am upset because OM2 is upset with me. 

All I did was call him.... again.... and again..... and again....

He got angry with me! Ohhhhhhh I am so down and in a dark place. I wish my H could feel the pain I am feeling right now.

All I wanted to do was to marry him. And he thinks I'm expecting too much! My H must have said something to him. Wait, that's crazy. 

I know... I will write a beautiful apology email and I will blame circumstances at work, and my ex-H for my foul mood. Ohhh, my H is wonderful... simply wonderful to blame all of my unhappiness on him. 



The email was beautiful - I hope he will reply.... 



Dammit. No reply yet...... 


Dammit. Still no reply....


3 minutes later and STILL no reply... He must reply. I LOOOOOVE him soooooooo much!!!!!!


Damn you H!!! You are the cause of my problems.

Oh well, off to bed and to sleep. Must remember to call POSOM1 about next Tuesday's anal training session.

It is wonderful to be a modern confident woman free of the shackles of my H who is the cause of all of my unhappiness. Even now, 4 months after separation I can still blame him. Why not? It's easier than blaming myself!!

Tata for now!


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

:rofl::smthumbup:


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)




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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Ohhh, I can't sleep because my heart is broken. OM2 has broken my heart into a million pieces! Is there anybody in this world who has suffered more than me? First, I was married to H for 25 years. And 26 of those 25 years were terrible.

Thank goodness I have my children. Being a SuperMom has its benefits. Many men find MILFs irresistible! I wish H would let me have them at two hour stretches when I need them. I feel so sexy when I am in jeans and heels with my beloved children and people say "YOU had two kids?? How do you keep your figure??" it is wonderful to be a mother who can afford fake breasts, lipo, laser skin treatment, Botox, juvaderm... It helps me retain my natural beauty!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!! The kids are ok too... In small doses.

Note to self: kids are here next week, dammit. Remember to hide anal toys beneath bras.

Toodle ooh!


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Like in animal house when belushi when on the rant how was it over when the germans bombed pearl harbor, matheson says don't stop him know he's on a roll.:rofl::smthumbup:


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

This needs to be a series on mtv no?


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

OMG, I have tears ... that is awesome!


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

:rofl::smthumbup:


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## husbandfool (May 20, 2012)

C-man said:


> First, I was married to H for 25 years. And 26 of those 25 years were terrible.
> Toodle ooh!


Priceless !!!
:rofl:


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Curses. Snow. Why does my ex love winter? "Ohhhhh, the kids love winter. Winter's fun". Blah blah blabitty blah blah...

My ex-h bought me a SAD lamp because I get blue in winter. HE IS SOOOO DAMN CONTROLLING!!!!!!!!!

How will I go dancing tonight? How will POSOM1 get to my place? How can I wear heels in this crap? Who likes winter? Losers!!!!

I am a strong confident woman!!!!

Well, better get up and start my makeup routine. Snow or not, I must look my best and if it takes two hours every morning, it is nobody's business. Thank goodness my kids aren't here. It is such a pain in the butt to have to cater to their needs when I need to put on my face.

Speaking of pains in the butt, POSOM1 wants me to wear a plug all day. But what if OM2 calls and wants to have spontaneous snow day sex. How would I explain the plug?? Ohhhhh, the dilemmas of a modern confident woman who is trying desperately to land a younger man!!

Ohhhhh, OM2...... I looooooove you soooooooo much. Why won't you call me? Is it because of me Ex? Yes. THAT must be it.

My ex has no sympathy for my struggles. He is so SELFISH.

Oh well. Good morning world!!


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Brilliant!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

OM2 still hasn't replied to my email.

My heart is breaking. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh the pain of a broken heart. Why is life so unfair? Why does everything bad happen to me??

Nobody will understand the pain of my broken heart. Nobody in the world hurts like I hurt now.

OM2.... where are you? Why do you not respond? Am I too old? I will make up for it with radical MILF sex, I promise. No holes barred.

I guess I'll have to give POSOM1 a call to take my mind off my broken heart....

Ohhhhh, the pain.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Go on....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

bwahahahaha!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Friday afternoon......OM2 had not responded to my email yet. My poor breaking heart that has known such sorrow....

I wonder if I should go on a relationship website and pour my broken hearted story out for all to hear? The sympathy I will surely get will make me feel better. Hmmmm. "TalkaboutMarriage.com".... That doesn't sound like a promising site for a broken hearted modern woman like me. WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE????

Ohhh, woe is me. I am a victim. First my H makes me cheat. Then he makes me lie about cheating. Then he gets ALL UPSET when he thinks I lied. I didn't lie. I just didn't tell the truth. See the difference??

Now, OM2 won't return my email. All I want to do is marry him and have sex and watch the unicorns fly. Is THAT too much to ask? Sigh. 

Now I may have to settle for POSOM1. Of course, he is "Married" with "kids". All the better - I love a little competition with the wifester.

I wonder if his wife allows him to do anal? THAT'S MY EDGE!!!

Ohhhh POSOM1, I will meet you in any clandestine location of your choosing. I am so proud to be your secret lover. Your wife and son should pay more attention to you. Stupid one year old brat crying all the time. No wonder you want to escape. 

I see a great future for us together. YEAH. We will watch unicorns together. EAT YOUR HEART OUT OM2!!!


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

For some reason i thought of Madamme Bovarie (read in high school some 11yrs ago). Don't know if it was the modern confident woman who triggered it or the fact that were 2 affairs.

I can't go through your old posts now but did she self apply the term "modern confident woman" to herself or is it you who is using it? Same question goes for watching flying unicorns i'm curious about that too!


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Are you reading her emails? Do you really know what's going on with POSOM1 and POSOM2 or are you just having some fun (or both)?


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Are you reading her emails? Do you really know what's going on with POSOM1 and POSOM2 or are you just having some fun (or both)?


Well, I read an email that she sent to OM2. Yes, I snooped. There was only the one email and it was quite pathetic. For POSOM1 I do know what's going on too. 

But I am having some fun with it too, while trying to capture the bizarre thought patterns of my wife (who may be typical of a WS).

Sorry.... I'm out of character...


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> I can't go through your old posts now but did she self apply the term "modern confident woman" to herself or is it you who is using it? Same question goes for watching flying unicorns i'm curious about that too!


Yes. She has "grown from a bewildered 23 year old into a confident woman with different needs". She wrote that in an email the day AFTER I contacted POSOM1 and was attempting to retract her confession of the PA.

According to her - she wanted to have a PA with POSOM1, but the scars from her breast surgery were still too visible so she was too self conscious to do the deed. It made me feel warm all over to know that her reasons were so noble. 

It's actually pretty crazy and somehow enlightening to try to think and write like your WS.

ETA: BTW, my stbxw is 48. We split just weeks shy of our 25th. POSOM1 is 12 years younger. OM2 is 13 years younger (and not interested, apparently. Much to my stbxw's never ending sorrow....) Our split was directly related to her new infatuation with OM2.


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## Jack29 (Oct 20, 2012)

C-man said:


> Yes. She has "grown from a bewildered 23 year old into a confident woman with different needs".


thats very sad to hear, although more likely she exchanged one type of bewilderment for another, be careful not to be there for her if she comes back to you begging on her knees, she doesn't deserve it! Good luck!


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Jack29 said:


> thats very sad to hear, although more likely she exchanged one type of bewilderment for another, be careful not to be there for her if she comes back to you begging on her knees, she doesn't deserve it! Good luck!


She was never a bewildered 23 year old. She was strong, honest, and had character. Amazing. We met because we worked for the same investment bank - she was the youngest person at the conference doing a job that usually requires a few years of experience. She told her first lie in our marriage shortly after turning 40 - which was a traumatic experience for her. Then it went downhill from there. Once you tell one lie, the others get easier. Her EA started in 2008. Her PA in 2009. I discovered in 2010 (when it was already over). She let me think it was just an EA while we were in false R until we split in Oct due to her infatuation with OM2.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

C-man said:


> But I am having some fun with it too, while trying to capture the bizarre thought patterns of my wife (who may be typical of a WS).


Wanna have some real fun? Somehow get it to your STBXW!

This is the stuff that legends are made of.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

3putt said:


> Wanna have some real fun? Somehow get it to your STBXW!
> 
> This is the stuff that legends are made of.


I may be stupid, but I'm not crazy. My stbxw has an underdeveloped funny bone. She used to have one, but it went missing when she started taking herself far too seriously as a "modern, confident woman".

No rocking the boat until everything is finalized...


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Thank you for the laugh....I almost want to print this out and carry it in my purse for a good laugh anytime I need it!! You're brilliant!


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

C-man said:


> I may be stupid, but I'm not crazy. My stbxw has an underdeveloped funny bone. She used to have one, but it went missing when she started taking herself far too seriously as a "modern, confident woman".
> 
> No rocking the boat until everything is finalized...


Oh, my suggestion was with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

For the time being anyway.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

TGIF!!!!!!

TGIF!! I love Fridays. I LIVE for Fridays. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I LIVE for Fridays. Saturdays too. And Thursdays and of course TUESDAYS. But the rest I devote to my children because I am a DEVOTED mother, despite my hotness. I like to dress my daughters up like little teenage hookers - then I look like their older sister. Much older, but still I could pass for a young Aunt at least. Children are the PERFECT fashion accessory. It's too bad you can't return them LOL!!

Anyway, my girlfriends and I are going DANCING tonight. I have the perfect one shoulder tight dress and my CFM pumps. Tonight I am going to wear my skimpiest thong. Maybe I'll bend over and give a thirty something the thrill of their lives. I am SOOOO naughty!

But that is the life of a modern confident woman. We know what we want because Cosmo tells us. We know how to drive our man crazy. 

Anyway, I hope it's not like last week, where my girlfriends and I ended up dancing with each other all night and then we went home together. BORING. Tonight "E" will act as my wingman. I am so hott that I need a wingman to keep the LOSERS off of me.

Tata for now! Cougar on the prowl!!!


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

:rofl:


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Ohhh, the club isn't full to capacity because of the storm. That means all the men who showed up tonight are MOTIVATED! I'm going to get LUUUUCKY!

Uhhhgg, some old loser is trying to hit on me. He is only 7 years younger than me... WAY to old. If I wanted an old man, I would have stuck with my ex.... LOL. BORING.... 

Wait... There's an attractive young thirty something. Let me sashay over there as I bounce to a beat known only in my own mind....

Ohhhh.... The INSULT. He called "M'amm". I might as well KILL MYSELF. LOL. He was ugly anyway.

Ickkk. This club is full of losers - nobody hitting on me and I am the hottest late forties cougar here by a longshot. Did I just say late forties?? I meant mid-thirties.....

The DJ is kind of cute though. I think I'll dance my way over there and stand in front of him and dance to my phantom tune in my head while making the turkey head movement with my neck...

DAMMIT - he played an early 80's song for me and winked. WTF, is my Botox fading or something? What is going on? As a modern confident woman, I crave validation and I am NOT GETTING IT.

Where is my wingman "E"??? Oh there she is with an ugly old guy (early 40's and fat). I better save her. 

Later. Toodles!!


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

You did an amazing job and provided me with lots of laughs.....thanks!


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

pretty accurate this was great Keep Smiling the grass is greeniest where its watered


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