# unaroused or turned off by the act



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I know a lot of ladies on the forums don't have sex because they're either angry or they just don't like having sex anymore. Have any of you felt turned off by the act, meaning the smells, the sound, the fluids? 

I am so emotionally detached that sex now seems terribly awkward & slightly repulsive to me. has anyone else ever had these feelings and how did you change them?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## donders (May 9, 2012)

honeysuckle rose said:


> I know a lot of ladies on the forums don't have sex because they're either angry or they just don't like having sex anymore. Have any of you felt turned off by the act, meaning the smells, the sound, the fluids?
> 
> I am so emotionally detached that sex now seems terribly awkward & slightly repulsive to me. has anyone else ever had these feelings and how did you change them?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's not the fluids, the smells, or the sounds.

It's the _ _ _ _ _ _

Change the _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Then all will be well!


Here's the letters to fill in the blanks above, it's scrambled.

r p e n o s


----------



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I am tired. I don't get it...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

It's the person.

Change the person. (I think this is what donders meant).

I think Donders has a point, although I don't think I'd give the same advice. I've felt this way about sex when I was feeling detached and resentful toward my husband. It stinks. Do you feel emotionally detached from him?

When I got to the roots of my anger/resentment, those negative feelings toward sex dissipated. We've worked on spending more time together and connecting on all levels of our relationship.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

person

person


----------



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I feel completely emotionally detached. I think I'm also depressed and I have a lot of stress issues. 
I am very resentful about a lot of things from the past. I've tried to resolve them and move forward but I am still stuck in that emotional mud. I really do not know that we are the right people for each other. sometimes I think it's okay and then sometimes I want to leave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## stitch (Aug 9, 2012)

I am feeling the same way, thinking back about abuse issues, don't know which way to turn


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

donders said:


> It's not the fluids, the smells, or the sounds.
> 
> It's the _ _ _ _ _ _
> 
> ...


:rofl:

When I was in my teens we used to say:

"Sex is like drugs, you will always be high once you have a good pusher....."


----------



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

When I was in my teens we used to say:

"Sex is like drugs, you will always be high once you have a good pusher....."[/QUOTE]

And the ironic part is, he's the best pusher I've ever been with. It's the emotional part that has wrecked the entire thing for me.


----------



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

stitch said:


> I am feeling the same way, thinking back about abuse issues, don't know which way to turn


Stitch, you've got to go to counseling. I have never been sexually abused, but I can't imagine how I'd function in a relationship with that always in my head. Please get some help...


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Honey,

Tell us about the things you are so resentful about. Those are the key... and the longer you avoid touch, sex, etc the longer you will be turned off by it.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> :rofl:
> 
> When I was in my teens we used to say:
> 
> "Sex is like drugs, you will always be high once you have a good pusher....."


Lmao! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Honeysuckle,

Have you and your husband started marriage counseling? You really have a lot of resentment built up. Letting it out in therapy may help.


----------



## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> It's the person.
> 
> Change the person. (I think this is what donders meant).


Hahaha I kept trying to make it spell penis. "What the heck? There's no R in penis!"


----------



## donders (May 9, 2012)

momtwo4 said:


> Do you feel emotionally detached from him?





honeysuckle rose said:


> I am so emotionally detached


She feels emotionally detached.


----------



## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

The mind is a really powerful thing, honeysuckle. You combine that with hormones and it's no wonder people struggle from time to time. Get on a different road for yourself, one of self discovery.


----------



## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

Have you had problems with sexual desire in the past? If it's recent or just with your husband, I'd concur that it's your relationship not the act.

If you feel it's been a problem even when things were good, you might have a sexual aversion. But I'm thinking it's the first thing.


----------



## stitch (Aug 9, 2012)

stitch said:


> I am feeling the same way, thinking back about abuse issues, don't know which way to turn


My husband throws the past in my face, he has a huge ego problem and I wish I could figure out a way to get out of here. My children donot deserve to live like this.


----------

