# My plan for moving out - lmk what you think



## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

Here is my story
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/considering-divorce-separation/41086-newlywed-desperate-help.html

At this point im pretty much decided to end it, i dont see anything changing and we're not happy. I have two friends with a house who will need a third roommate in like 2 months so if i dont see progress ill will be moving in with them soon


Should i talk with my wife and let her know my intentions and give her a two month window to work on things or im moving out and fileing for divorce? I just worry she might kick me out as soon as i tell her or like burn all my belongings in a emotional rage.

OR

Should i keep trying to fix things but not mention the plan to move out/divorce in two months and when the time comes just pack my stuff someday when shes working and explain to her later why she came home to a half empty home?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Now that I`ve read up on your situation I`d simply tell her you`re leaving in 2 months and then leave.

If it`s going to have any affect on her at all it won`t happen until after you`re gone.

I don`t understand why you so badly want to be with someone who only sees you as a means to an end.

She`ll only fill your needs when she can manipulate them to get something she wants.
Once she has all she wants you`ll no longer have a purpose in her life.

You should get out soon.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It's hard to say - you know your wife - but in my experience, warning someone just enables them to smarten up for the short term, and then when the deadline passes just revert back to the old ways again.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

I read your other post. You actually sound like a great person. If it were me, I would really try to find out what her underlying issues are. If you can't and she won't try to work on them/herself, I'd leave.


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

> I don`t understand why you so badly want to be with someone who only sees you as a means to an end


.

Guess i was in love with her at one point :scratchhead:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Toshiba2020 said:


> tacoma said:
> 
> 
> > I don`t understand why you so badly want to be with someone who only sees you as a means to an end.
> ...


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## ConfusedGuy82 (Nov 18, 2011)

Be careful about giving notice. If she cares at all, she will likely try to talk to you into staying by offering up empty promises. I devised a plan to leave and told my partner the night before. He basically guilted me into staying and less than a week later, I was regretting my decision to stay. I think just packing up when your partner is at work is dirty, but sometimes it's necessary if you are easily swayed or manipulated. Your partner knows better than anyone else what to say and what buttons to push.


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## ConfusedGuy82 (Nov 18, 2011)

Oh...and if you want to give notice, I certainly wouldn't give 2 months! I don't know your wife, but I can say that it would be hell living with my partner for 2 months with both parties knowing "moving day" was coming. At most, I would give a week's notice. You've already told her what needs to change to make you happy. It shouldn't come down to you leaving for her to take action!


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## Schill (Dec 7, 2011)

After reading your story, and specifically about her crying fits, etc.. I don't think giving her 2 months notice is a good idea. She'll do what it takes to keep things together over that 2 months and your golden opportunity to move out will pass and you'll be feeling stuck. She's a manipulator and chances are, so are her parents. Which could be why you moved close to them. 

Give yourself 2 months to see how things go, and if they're the same old story, move in with your friends.


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