# Moving on



## needymom

My husband passed away suddenly 6 months ago. He is missed greatly. My husband had many different sides to him. He was a hard worker and sometimes a very funny fellow. The other side to him was a little harder to handle. He was often very distant to me and my children. He hide in the basement and drank. He rarely wanted to do anything with me and the kids. He was just coming to realize he had a drinking problem and had issues and maybe was close to getting treatment but he passed away.


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## needymom

Oops wasn't finished. The children and I grieved and still grieving but with a lot of work I am feeling better. To make a long story short I was married to a man for 23 years that was difficult (he was never physically abusive) to live with. I am considering to date again. I think I am ready but how do you really know.


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## zappy

May God be with you in these times.


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## husbandfool

Hi,
I lost my first wife to cancer 15 years ago. We were happily married for 16 years. I was a single Dad with 3 kids. It took me a year to feel comfortable dating again but it is different for everyone. 

One thing I firmly believed in was that there are a lot of wonderful people out there ... women who would be great partners and great wives ... but can all be different and that is fine. The same for men/husbands.
I believe that love for someone is not a fixed resource, like money in a bank account. You don't use it up on one person. You can fully love someone, and later in life fully love someone else.

You may not know for sure when is the "right" time to date and that is ok. The key is that it's ok to start living your life. Try not to set your expectations too high at first.

I once asked myself this question (hypothetically):
If you could choose between the following two ways to live, which would you chose?

1. Live a safe life, taking few risks, and coming to the end of your days unscathed and unscarred and ... thinking of all the "what-ifs" and "could haves" and opportunities you never took in life. The regrets

2. Jump back into life and take life for what it is, an often scary roller-coaster ride, with big highs and sometimes bigger lows. Where you come to the end of your days like a base runner sliding into home plate ... scarred, maybe not so pretty anymore but .... you can look back on your life and exclaim ... "that was one hell of a ride!"


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