# would this be an alcoholic?



## toomuchtotell

Would someone be considered an alchoholic if they can live without drinking it (and stop if they want to), but when they do, cannot control how much they drink and keep drinking until they pass out? And cannot control their behavior when they drink?


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## Regga

From what I understand, alcoholism is defined by whether drinking alcohol causes problems...


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## Why Not Be Happy?

yes.


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## arbitrator

There are all varieties and types of alcoholics, and none of them good! ~ Just take your pick!


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## Mittens

There are many forms of alcoholism - and yes, what you've described is a binge alcoholic.
My ex-husband was a perfect example.
He could go months without drinking - but when he drank he'd drive drunk, get violent, get abusive, black out, make a total tool of himself in public infront of his friends / my friends etc etc.
It's the lack of control that's the key to alcoholism and what makes it an addiction as opposed to life decision or past time.


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## pennyblossom

I am dealing with a similar situation, and from what I have read this is a type of alcoholism. 

It is very difficult to deal with, I know first hand. This past weekend being the worst behavior I have seen.

Although I have to give Husband credit, he understood the behavior is unacceptable. He has now decided he has a problem, and has decided to quit drinking all together. I commend him for this decision.


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## candy12

Mittens said:


> There are many forms of alcoholism - and yes, what you've described is a binge alcoholic.
> My ex-husband was a perfect example.
> He could go months without drinking - but when he drank he'd drive drunk, get violent, get abusive, black out, make a total tool of himself in public infront of his friends / my friends etc etc.
> It's the lack of control that's the key to alcoholism and what makes it an addiction as opposed to life decision or past time.


Just curious, is this the reason why he's an ex? My husband is this way, and although he pledged to quit drinking after an intoxicated one-night stand, he has still found himself in many social situations that involve drinking (brother's bachelor party, my company events etc..) and has continued to make a fool of himself.


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## FlyingThePhoenix

toomuchtotell said:


> Would someone be considered an alchoholic if they can live without drinking it (and stop if they want to), but when they do, cannot control how much they drink and keep drinking until they pass out? And cannot control their behavior when they drink?


My dad’s been drinking since long before he got married to my mother, only mother didn’t know this when she married him, soon after he beat her in front of us and ranting vile words towards my mother, what a bas1ard. He no longer beats her as the rest of the family intervened and put him in his place. I never forgave him and never will.

Over the years my dad, sometimes let it slip he couldn’t say what he wanted to say when sober, but when he got drunk on just 2/3 bears if would let loose his tongue with his true feelings. I learnt over the years when he was faking it, and put him straight, but even so, after all these years his only means to express his true feelings is getting slightly drunk, but still aware and in control of his faculties to express his true feelings. Of course, I know him so well, so when I attempt to put him straight, those people that don’t know him, say to me he was drunk so he’s definitely not in control of his faculties. If only these people knew what I know.

It’s strange my dad loves alcohol so much that when I drink it, it puts me off completely. However recently I have grown to appreciate the finer things in life like, Bailey’s Irish cream liqueur, but not just for drinking though.


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## toomuchtotell

Mittens said:


> It's the lack of control that's the key to alcoholism and what makes it an addiction as opposed to life decision or past time.


Makes sense, wasn't sure if it had to be an addiction per se.



FlyingThePhoneix said:


> It’s strange my dad loves alcohol so much that when I drink it, it puts me off completely.


Not really so strange, maybe your experience with him drinking has turned you off?


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## FlyingThePhoenix

Hi Too much,



> It's the lack of control that's the key to alcoholism and what makes it an addiction as opposed to life decision or past time.


Yes! when we were small kids my dad lost all control and beat my mother, those memories are fresh in my mind as if it was only last week, but is now actually 35/36 years ago. He was like an animal. 



> Not really so strange, maybe your experience with him drinking has turned you off?


No not really, but in my 20's I loved drinking bear, I could drink up 5+ cans without it affecting me, strange over the years I can't stomach bear any more it tastes all the same to me, wine also is fast becoming the same way. Only the liqueur's are agreeing with my taste buds these days. I guess when it came to booze I knew my limit and my dad didn't. What am I saying I just agreed with you. I need some :sleeping:


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## toomuchtotell

FlyingThePhoenix said:


> Hi Too much,
> 
> 
> 
> Yes! when we were small kids my dad lost all control and beat my mother, those memories are fresh in my mind as if it was only last week, but is now actually 35/36 years ago. He was like an animal.
> 
> 
> 
> No not really, but in my 20's I loved drinking bear, I could drink up 5+ cans without it affecting me, strange over the years I can't stomach bear any more it tastes all the same to me, wine also is fast becoming the same way. Only the liqueur's are agreeing with my taste buds these days. I guess when it came to booze I knew my limit and my dad didn't. What am I saying I just agreed with you. I need some :sleeping:


I know my limit too, and it's not much more than 2 drinks... I'm a lightweight! And on top of that I had a very bad experience with alcohol when I was in college so I make it a point to avoid going over my limit. It's too bad because I actually do like beer and wine. Wine tasting is fun...but after 1 round of tastings I'm done, it's kind of embarrassing!


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## FlyingThePhoenix

toomuchtotell said:


> I know my limit too, and it's not much more than 2 drinks... I'm a lightweight! And on top of that I had a very bad experience with alcohol when I was in college so I make it a point to avoid going over my limit. *(FTP: Snap! I was 19 in college and I remember it as clear as day, even the singing)* It's too bad because I actually do like beer and wine. *(FTP: Why? Don't get me wrong in social events I'll join in, but like you, I know my limits) *Wine tasting is fun...but after 1 round of tastings I'm done, it's kind of embarrassing!


Why is it embarrassing? Oh, I know why, because after an hour of drinking you become a "Sweet Talkin' Woman" , You see that's what happens when you drink "too much". _(As in the song, oh please get this one!)_


Okay, I'm kind of a dummy when it comes to Wine tasting. Educate me please, do you really spit the wine out without drinking it? I'm mean, what's the point in that.


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## toomuchtotell

FlyingThePhoenix said:


> Why is it embarrassing? Oh, I know why, because after an hour of drinking you become a "Sweet Talkin' Woman" , You see that's what happens when you drink "too much". _(As in the song, oh please get this one!)_ the song...hmm..I'm afraid you lost me there!:
> 
> 
> Okay, I'm kind of a dummy when it comes to Wine tasting. Educate me please, do you really spit the wine out without drinking it? I'm mean, what's the point in that.


Well, the real professionals spit out the wine into the provided bucket because typically they are tasting many many wines at once and keeping their faculties intact helps with proper assessment.  But, any time I've gone tasting, the non-professionals typically do actually drink the wine they are tasting. This can work well for one round of tasting but if one is going winery hopping it can certainly land you in trouble! Or...you can do it the "toomuchtotell" way which involves keeping the bucket close by to you, so that after one or two sips, when no one else is looking, you dump the rest of the contents of the glass into the bucket. You keep doing this for each wine you taste and you can leave the winery intact rather than stumble out of the winery and revealing the fact you can't handle your wine (hence the embarrassment)


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## FlyingThePhoenix

FlyingThePhoenix said:


> Why is it embarrassing? Oh, I know why, because after an hour of drinking you become a *"Sweet Talkin' Woman"* , You see that's what happens when you drink "too much". _(As in the song, oh please get this one!)_
> 
> *The music is from The Very Best of Electric Light Orchestra (1997) Album. You didn't get it, I guess I'm just "too much" for you.  Just remember who gave me permission, that's right you.*
> 
> Okay, I'm kind of a dummy when it comes to Wine tasting. Educate me please, do you really spit the wine out without drinking it? I'm mean, what's the point in that.





toomuchtotell said:


> Well, the real professionals spit out the wine into the provided bucket because typically they are tasting many many wines at once and keeping their faculties intact helps with proper assessment.  But, any time I've gone tasting, the non-professionals typically do actually drink the wine they are tasting. This can work well for one round of tasting but if one is going winery hopping it can certainly land you in trouble! Or...you can do it the "toomuchtotell" way which involves keeping the bucket close by to you, so that after one or two sips, when no one else is looking, you dump the rest of the contents of the glass into the bucket. You keep doing this for each wine you taste and you can leave the winery intact rather than stumble out of the winery and revealing the fact you can't handle your wine (hence the embarrassment)


Oh wow! hahaha! That must have been some sight, I know it's NOT funny, but come on.... Okay so you taste the wine but no drinking them otherwise you get a lovely hangover the next day. It sounds more like a science than tasting, do comment on each wine? You sound like a true expert on the subject.


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