# Perimenopause



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I have been in it for over a year now. What is surprising me most these days is the unexpected crying spells. All of a sudden, I will just be so sad, thinking about the kids growing up, or missing dh, or not even having a reason, but just crying for a while.

I'm sure this is normal, but just curious if anyone else is experiencing this, too . . .


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

You need to focus on the positive side of kids growing up. More places to stay for free when you guys retire 

Seriously, with connected electronic gadgets your kids will be as far away as your nearest smartphone or tablet....

I cope by thinking that (a) I did this to my parents and they told me to stay in the USA (b) visualize them happy across town or across the planet and (c) celebrating small victories when they use things you taught them in a faraway land.

Missing your husband, well, it's not like he's in Antarctica for six months at a time. Think of the opportunities your family has to travel and see the world. (And the stuff he should bring back to y'all) 

Is that peri menopause? Or just a parent / spouse doing his or her job?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Well, I don't think it is normal for me to just start spontaneously crying, sometimes for no reason. All I can think is hormones. And I am going through physical changes, which I am sure are peri.

You bring up great points, John, about how the kids are just a phone call/skype away. And we all know we have to let go someday. Sigh. Though we would not want to have to support them forever!

And yes, we will be travelling to see them. Dh said that years ago, that we will be on the plane, lol. 

And I am thankful for his job, though I do miss him. He just got home a few minutes ago, and would you believe, I feel physically more relaxed now? I did not even realize I was tense. But his presence really relaxes me. I just feel better with him here.

It was sweet of you to respond, john. I was surprised not to get any replies yesterday. I thought other women would have experienced these crying spells, too. But maybe this subforum just does not get a lot of traffic.

Thanks again.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I am going through this, too. And my daughter is 15 so no empty nest yet! 

I never had any real hormonal issues until later in life - that is, in my early 40s I noticed I would be a bit snippier the day or two before my period where before I had zero symptoms. Last year I had two hot flashes several months apart and I have missed a few periods but in the past 6 months or so I have really noticed I'm more emotional. Anything the least bit touching gets me all choked up and although I was always very empathetic, even more so now.

Things that would make me go "aww that's sweet" or "oh that's so sad" now have me bawling. Frustration is much more likely to bring on tears as well. I don't notice it being better or worse at any particular time of the month, either. And oddly my period is regular again with no symptoms or warning. Go figure.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I have had severe PMS in the past, to such an extent that I had to take medication. Things are better now, but I can definitely feel that I'm very sensitive to hormonal changes. Some women are more sensitive than others. I guess we'll just have to wait it out JLD!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Lol, Omego. I just went through another blue period the other day. It just hits me sometimes, and I have to cry it out.

Hormones . . .


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Nothing that a good bottle of wine can't fix


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Lol. But I am getting old, and now alcohol brings on bladder problems. Dh has to drink alone.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I should change my prescription to something more, ummm, concentrated. Cognac perhaps? Jaegermeister? 

Less volume to deal with.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

john117 said:


> I should change my prescription to something more, ummm, concentrated. Cognac perhaps? Jaegermeister?
> 
> Less volume to deal with.


Lol. I could never handle Jaegermeister.

And it's anything other than water. That's my beverage, thanks to my sensitive bladder.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Even though I've had a hysterectomy and don't get a period, I get my hormones from one ovary so I still have the fluctuations. Once a month,usually between the 24-28th I will cry over just about anything. I get anxiety attacks on those days occasionally too if I start allowing my mind to wander to dark places. 

When I was on meds that put my body into a false menopausal state I was a wreck. 

It sucks. 

Transcendental meditation helps to keep you focused on positive things. It also keeps your mind a bit more organized and logical instead of falling into the pattern of immediate emotion based reactions that can sabotage your day if you let it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

My wife has been in immediate emotion based reaction mode for ever... Cultural for the most part. Thankfully she had no menopause symptoms whatsoever...


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## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

This was a no brainer for me. I had horrendous cramps all my life. Had to take very strong pain pills and muscle relaxers or get a shot to knock me out.
Two days before my period (I was 25 days like clock work) I would be the biggest *****.
I'm 48 now. Around the time I turned 42, my periods came once every 3 or 4 months. Then out of nowhere, they stopped. Haven't had one in 3 1/2 yrs.
Hot flashes last about a minute (it's one helluva minute!) and sometimes I tear up.
But for me, that's a small price to pay not to have Freddie Krugar ripping my insides out every month.
One must find the good in everything


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

JLD, 

I'm 52 and when I was mid-forties I hit perimenopause. I used and still do tear up sometimes, and darn if I know why! I know it's something to do with the whole hormone thing, and also every now and then the release of crying just feels good. I cry at the sound of good music, or sometimes a good memory! It's ridiculous. Then again, I was always the girly who cried at every movie too, so I'm an easy crier. 

Well now I'm rambling but I think I'm trying to say that it sounds like your normal to me. This later life stuff can be hard to adjust to, but by the same token, having my Dear Hubby's undivided attention is fun!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yea that and a lot of other stuff like hot flashes go on.

I used Progesterone Cream... get the low-dose, over-the-counter formulas at most health food stores, or from many holistic practitioners’ offices. Thinks like hot flashes disappeared when I used the cream.

Conquering Perimenopause | The Dr. Oz Show


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I'm having more trouble with my bladder the older I get, too. I have read that as we go through menopause, we can end up with more uti. I also have a problem with chronic urinary retention, and I bet that will get worse as I age, too.

Growing older gracefully, what a challenge . . . and now I feel another crying spell coming on. The joys of peri.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks, intheory. I am back to doing Kegels after too long of a break, and I will keep the cranberry in mind. Lately just drinking a ton of water seems to right things, but it is always good to have options.


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## girl friday (Jan 14, 2012)

Hi ... I too have had success with the progesterone cream. I found it hard to get my doctor to take me seriously and eventually found a private clinic that tested my hormone levels. 

Its amazing the difference that it makes to your life once things come back into balance. Periods become less clotty and lighter, you have more energy, less depression and mood swings, higher libido, better memory. It effects everything when you are unbalanced and its no fun. 

If you know there is something wrong don't stop until you find solutions that work for you. Good luck with it.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks, gf. Gosh, it has been hard lately. Spotting (I was afraid I had cervical cancer! ), mood swings, crying spells . . . I don't know what has happened to me. I never had much PMS. I feel like I don't know my own body anymore.

I need to do some reading and talk to some other women my age.

Thanks to all the gals who have posted here.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Most of those could be psychosomatic symptoms from reading sad stories in the sad sections of TAM. Switch to the happier sections of TAM (all three of them )


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

There are three????!!!!!  

Exercise helps a lot. But it doesn't kill the weepies for me. I'm just a big baby.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Yea, social, religion and politics, and long term success. If you're weepie happy type take out long term and religion & politics too


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> There are three????!!!!!
> 
> Exercise helps a lot. But it doesn't kill the weepies for me. I'm just a big baby.


You are crying a lot, too, clip? How old are you?

Yesterday we were traveling all day, and several times I just started crying. And then maybe 20 minutes later, I was calm again, like it never happened.

I agree with john that some of it is linked to emotional reasons, but it feels hormonal, too. I really feel like my body is changing.

And dh is in Slovakia, and today I cannot even get a hold of him. I just called dd in France, but he has not called them, either. So I am just trusting he is not lying dead somewhere . . . I know, overreacting here. 

And that spotting issue . . . is it my period? Is it not? It's been on and off for a week. Just so strange.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Not so much now but I had a spell. I'll be 50 next month. 

He is into some good Czech beer. Don't worry!!!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> Not so much now but I had a spell. I'll be 50 next month.
> 
> *He is into some good Czech beer. * Don't worry!!!


Lol, you must know him! He loves Czech beer! 

And thank you.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

For all your international telecommunications needs use the OneSim Card. DD is using it in Italy and we are paying 20c/min mobile to mobile. 

Take an old GSM quad band phone, stick in the SIM card, activate, and voila!

It won't relieve all symptoms but at least you can talk more . 

(No connection to those guys other than being a happy customer)


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

I am alive. I was just with some colleagues playing badminton and drinking some very good Slovak beer. Some slivovitz as well, but this is very dangerous. I had to call it quits, maybe I am a party pooper! Some of my colleagues have not had enough and they went for some after party drinks. It is now midnight here.

For the phone, we use face-time when I am in the hotel (Free wifi) otherwise my company pays for the cell calls. 

When we were in India I used to rent those SIM cards when I traveled internationally. They were very convenient.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Badminton, beer, and brandy.... Now why don't I get this treatment from my German colleagues?


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

I was with a bunch of Americans and we invited the local Slovak team. Slovaks are very athletic and we always end up with a physical activity as a social event.

I was surprised to see the Americans out living the Slovaks on the court.
For me, my body feels it today !

I am now enjoying Krakow in Poland. The beer is still very good !


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I just completed my first ever 10 mile bicycle ride. My rear end feels like it was thoroughly kicked by the entire Slovak national team... 

Krakow is very nice.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Good for you, john! You are really enjoying that bike!

Dh only got to walk around Krakow for an hour or two. It was raining there this afternoon.

Are you watching the World Cup games?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

No, I was never a soccer fan. Always basketball. 

DD1 is in Florence this weekend. Based on the selfies from her and her classmates posing with Michaelangelo's David statue lets just say I'll never think of the Renaissance the same way again 

Florence is reported to have incredible eats btw.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

What a lucky girl. I'm sure Florence is beautiful. And the food anywhere in Italy must be delicious.

No football, john? Are you sure you are foreign?


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## blueeyescurls1963 (Jun 8, 2014)

jld said:


> I have been in it for over a year now. What is surprising me most these days is the unexpected crying spells. All of a sudden, I will just be so sad, thinking about the kids growing up, or missing dh, or not even having a reason, but just crying for a while.
> 
> I'm sure this is normal, but just curious if anyone else is experiencing this, too . . .


it is normal for you, just like my mood swings were normal for me. what is normal for one woman, may not be normal for others. I had horrible mood swings, that were anger based, and the crying spells, so probably normal for you, just our hormones have decided to play a really bad practical joke on us


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Perimenopause....I don't know.. I've read some things on it and it doesn't seem to even mention what happened to me -only mentions Low sex drive...










I had some type of Hormonal increase at age 42.. that just threw me into a Tizzy..I became this insatiable Nympho... I was loving it and feeling tormented at the same time... 

I never felt I had PMS until this time.. and only because I started to keep a sex calendar ...







- did I realize the pattern going on.... I would often get these meltdowns right before my period .... I would pick fights with my H -all over Sex, wanting more aggressive







.. 

On the one hand he was loving this, on the other I was REALLY pushing it... I would get OVERLY emotional about this... I read taking St Johns Wort might help calm me during that time...but he told me to put those away, that I wasn't that bad... he would tell me he needed to get me a cage and put duct tape over my mouth .. for some reason his talking to me like this made me laugh something awful.. I loved it !! 

THen this would pass..and I'd think "What the heck is wrong with me - Life is GOOD!".. so with the stirring of the sex hormones, so came with it more intensity of these Pms spells..

I literally could feel this rain cloud hovering over me...







...I'd want to do this....







...even being on TAM, I would start to think NOBODY LIKES ME, I need to leave, or be more apt to delete my posts.. I would ball at a commercial on TV... a song on the radio....Weepy !! 

I also started to get red blotch rashes here & there...like on my neck ..or on my arm -for no reason....they would come & go...that lasted a little while, not as bad now. (this is 5 yrs later)...the sex drive calmed.. so I could concentrate again on other things... 

Periods seem to last longer but coming in less than 28 days.. During that high Drive spell.. my body temperature was so







...like I had a fever ...which I kinda did...felt like Foreigners "Hot blooded ....check it and see, I got a fever or a 103"! ... Goodness.. 

It's a crazy time for women but it seems our symptoms can range a wide degree from women to woman!...and they say this can go on for 10 years or so ?? 










Then to confuse things further...


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