# No energy left for this marriage



## LimboGirl (Oct 28, 2011)

I am so overwhelmed. My husband and I have been going to M/C since 2010. I recently started I/C. I know there has been some progress but I swear it is draining.

Both my husband and I have read "Too Good to Leave, Too Good to Stay." While my husband was reading it he told me he was sorry. I asked what for and he replied oh just everything. I didn't ask for any more info. I'm so very tired of trying to get information out of him.

Well one night we decide to have a few drinks and I guess the alcohol lead me to ask him what he had apologized for. I had promised myself I wouldn't do that. I'm so tired of begging him for information.

The next day he gives me a letter telling me why he had apologized. He admitted that he takes things off the table and refuses to talk about them. He used the example of when we finally bought a house. (There are so many others.) He operates with hidden agendas. He said he could remember when I would ask to go look at houses and he would finally agree. Then he would proceed to find any reason for not buying one. He said he remember how exhausted and defeated I looked. This went on for eleven years. During that time we saved the entire amount it took to buy our house. That was his hidden agenda. He told this in M/C. It was the first time I had heard that he didn't want to have a mortgage.

I really would have thought that I would be having some positive feelings about how his admitting that he blocks communication is progress. But I'm not. I just feel "exhausted and defeated." I have never had so many bad feelings hit me at once. I really don't know why I am trying to work on this marriage.

Sorry so long. I really need for these feelings to leave. I have never felt so bad.


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## LimboGirl (Oct 28, 2011)

I forgot to say that he said he could remember how exhausted and defeated I looked when he would shoot down every house. I think this is why I feel so bad. I feel like he knew how he was treating me and how it was hurting me. He just didn't care. He had to have it his way.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I sent you a PM.


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## bluebeauty (Aug 25, 2011)

HerToo - I'd be interested on your advice as well...care to share?


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