# My 4th Xmas without mom



## cant feel anything (Dec 17, 2013)

I had been lurking around for a little while and this is my first thread. So please try not to be too harsh.
A little background info- I am 18 years old male and my dad is 46.

*My story*

We were a typical happy family, as far as I can remember. My earliest memory is mom and dad dancing slowly while my maternal granpa played the piano, if I remember correctly during Christmas. They looked so happy. Christmas was my favorite day of the year. I got so many gifts, helped mom and dad wrap up gifts for others and write "happy xmas. Love Mr & Mrs xxxx and Joshua" in my scrawny handwriting. Everyone would get together and hug me and tried to shower me with kisses, especially my granma and my aunts while I would try to squirm away. 

Dad worked fulltime and mom stayed at home. As years went by, dad took upon more of the household chores while mom played truant. I would come home from school and the house would be empty. When I asked mom where she went, she would say her friend needed help and she had to go. When dad asked the same question, she would get angry, pack her clothes and be gone for days. This went on for about a year. Dad went from being dad to my roomie. We would divide chores among ourselves. Dad was, and still is a horrible cook. So I started cooking but only when he decide to double my allowance. It was nothing like the gormet meals mom used to cook for us but atleast we didn't end up in ICU.

It was my 14th bday. I was really hoping mom would be there as she left just 2 days ago. It was not to be. My grandparents and dad organised the party. My friends kept asking where my mom was and saying their moms never missed their bdays. Those were the longest 2 hours of my life. I just wanted to be left alone. Suddenly granma took my hand and I started following her. I don't know when I got into her car, when I reached her place. I only remember myself holding her tight and crying and her telling me 'everything would be ok' and crying herself.

2 days later granma dropped me at my home. I didn't understand why she didn't want to come in until I saw mom's car I the driveway. I was filled with so much hatred at the sight of her car. I wanted to smash all the windows and set it on fire. I wanted to scream at her. I wanted an answer to what was more important then my bday for her. I unlocked the front door with my key and entered. Inside was a warzone. For the only time in my life I saw dad mad with rage. Mom was her usual screaming self. They were so busy fighting they didn't notice me. Mom was going on and on about how she had given 15 years of her life to him and that he had failed her. How she feels happy and alive with Eric, how he is a better man and would be a better father for me. She kept threatening my dad she would take me away and never let him meet me again if he didn't agree to her terms. I went up to my room, got my baseball bat, went to her car and smashed everything that could be smashed. Mom heard the ruckus and running out of the house followed by dad. She stared at the car for a little and then started screaming at me that how Eric would use her car now in this condition etc etc. I walked away from her without saying anything. She followed me and grabbed my arm screaming don't you dare walk away from your mother. I turned, looked straight into her eyes and said 'my mom is dead'. She let go of my arm like it burned her, went limp, fell on the ground and started wailing. I left her wailing on our front porch.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

need more.....


are you saying your mom had an affair and left?

ok i see now

wow yes she does sound awful.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm sorry, your story sounds awful. I do see you have people that love you. Your mother is not a good person, but that's her burden to carry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

You are better off without her.


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