# Divorced male seeking help



## davidraven2 (Apr 10, 2019)

Hello, My name is David and I am recently divorced seeking advice about what to what to do. Without boring everyone with the details, we have become more of friends than lovers and I have an issue with Interpersonal Skills. I know I'm what I want to say but never say it. Could be the very reason she left. Anyway, I'm here trying to better myself and see if maybe I can become a better me for me.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry about your circumstances.

We have lots of advice ... totally free.

Doing a self inventory is never a bad thing.

Did your ex ever articulate to you any issues she had with your mannerisms?

Are there specifics about yourself that you would identify as behaviors or traits you would like to improve?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Might want to start off with seeing a therapist or maybe a life coach if therapy isn't your thing. Figure out why you can't seem to communicate what you want.

If you're looking for advice on other areas of self improvement after divorce there is always the tried and true advice oft repeated. Develop an interest into a hobby or return to an old hobby. Exercise, eat right, keep hydrated, and keep your house comfortably clean, stocked, and organized. Deliberately make time with friends and use your hobbies to meet new potential friends. Don't forget to change beneficiaries and such if you haven't already and keep your finances in the best condition possible. Heal, figure out who you are, meet people, live life, and date when you're ready if you want to.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

For dealing with such large personality issues, you will get much better results in some sort of one-on-one environment like therapy. Message boards like these are great, but they are made up of a lot of different people with a lot of different viewpoints. There will be many different themes to the advice, and sometimes it will be conflicting. It may be difficult to know which advice to follow. Also, sometimes it's easy to follow the advice you find most comforting, but sometimes that's not the advice which will actually address your issue.

And speaking of random advice  ... One thing you should remember is just because it didn't work out with her, that doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. Sometimes a couple is just not compatible with each other. With different partners they might be perfect. You don't necessarily want to reshape your personality to match your ex since someone else out there may like you just for who you are.


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