# What do i do???



## er1kahernandez (Jun 1, 2009)

I am 23 years old, just moved to USA from Canada, to be with my boyfriend, we used to see each other, every other weekend and it was a little to rough on us, I moved in with him on January 2nd, right after new years eve, when i just got here, i noticed he left all the time with out telling me where or how long he was going to be gone for, and most of the times he was gone for more than 3 hours, I like to talk and have an open communication, i grow in a fairly big city, and he was raised in a very little town between farms, fishing, hunting and all that kind of things. Well i talked to him and told him it bothered me what he was doing, he was pretty understanding and said he would try to be better, but 2 months went by and i didn't see any difference, than i started getting upset about it, but always trying no to argue, 3 and months after i moved in i realize i was 4 months pregnant, i didn't know cuz i was using birth control, i really didn't wanted a baby and i wasn't ready for it, so i talked to him, and he said it was wonderful, he was very exited and happy, the between us will no so good at the time, and i was starting to think that moving in wasn't the best idea, i wanted to go back to Canada, I told him the way i felt and that i didn't wanted the baby I wanted to have an abortion, he told me not to do it, he said everything would be OK, that we will be happy and we will have a family, he said thats what he wanted the most, i saw him very happy and i always new i would be a good mom, so i stayed pregnant.

Now i am 6 months and 2 weeks pregnant and the things have gotten worse, I love going to the bar and doing stuff out of home, but now i spend at lease 6 days a week at home, he haven't been working since Feb 2009, so i think he should be at home more often, I am really home sick, and hormones aren't helping me right now, he goes out to see his friends every day and pretty much every weekend to the bars, I have never been asked to go with, he plays soft ball on the weekends and some weekdays, and because I'm at home all the time i want to go see him playing but he always ask me not to, i ask him to do things with me even things like do groceries together but he always say yes, and an hour or 2 before we have to go he ask me to go by my self. He just doesn't want to so anything with me, and I'm at home all day long bored and crying most of the time, he's got pretty nasty with me, if i talk to him and explain th Way i feel, he just stands up and leaves, or gets mad and tell me he doesn't love me and he couldn't care less about me, the next day he comes and ask me to forgive him and tells me he loves me and that he wants to be with me for ever and be a good father for our baby girl, but he has lied so much and hurt me so much that i really don't believed him, I want to leave, but it breaks my heart to think that my baby wont have a father, and i think i would feel guilty for the rest of my life, I do love him, but now the most important thing for me is my baby, and i now been stressed out crying and arguing is not good her, i don't know what to do, i love him but i have no trust for him any more and i i don't think i would get it back.

Its really hard for me to think that i can be a single mom and not been able to cope with all that, i am 23 years old and i know i deserved some one who wants to be with me and do things with me, but its very hard to leave him and it is even hard to think that i can leave like this the rest of my live, feeling i have to beg for a hug or sensibility from him.

I want my baby to be happy, but i don't know if to be with him would make her happy, and to be away would.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

when i moved with my H i was exceptionally clingy. I always wanted to be with him and he was always running off doing something else. for months i sat in an empty apartment all alone. i finally got a job and then i would come home from work to an empty apartment. I didnt even have a phone at the time so I had no idea where he was or when he was coming back. it was so hard. i would sit up all night crying. 

and he didnt even care. he says he did, but he didnt. how could he. he had never given up anything for anyone in his whole life. one night i asked him if he would move with me if i got a job somewhere else and he said probably not. that really cut me right to the core. My sacrifice meant nothing to him. 

We fought constantly and i threatened to leave all the time. He started to quit doing all the things he liked and would stay home with me. we'd just fight. so even when he was home we were miserable. Now he's starting to do the things he loves again because im realizing he's just miserable and im still miserable even when he's here. 

we are doing better now. we fought more then anyone i know in our first four years together. he went to counseling, i went to counseling, we read a boundary book together, and we're both mellowing out.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I believe there are some laws about this...
and if he brings you here from another country, he has certain obligations other than the child support he will have to pay. 

You need to see a lawyer, if you cant afford one, check into legal aide.


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