# Alot of things deeply buried.



## 20matc11

Ok, I could really post all over these boards with whats been going on. Since 2009 I have lost an aunt on my moms side, both Grandfathers, and a college professor that was a huge influence. 

In may of 2010 my wife of two 1/2 years (at the time) informed me in a fight that she cheated on me. We are now separated (after about 4 1/2 years) and dissolution papers have been filed. 

While all this was going on I was working in an profession that is mostly nights and weekends and working towards an graduate degree to improve my chances at getting a better paying job to be able to support our family better, and allow her the opportunity to go back to get a graduate degree.

I'm writing this because I don't think I know how to start processing all of this. There is so much piled on top of itself that I don't know where to begin and its left me feeling nothing at all. I cant cry, can't think of any of the goods times, 

I didn't cry at my aunts or mothers father's funeral- I was a pall bearer for both and was under so much stress from graduate school and my marriage that it was like it was just another thing I had to do. I finally cried at my professor's funeral because I had taken time from finishing my degree to work on my marriage (which I think was part of what my wife later referred to as "rolling over") which I think freed up emotional time/space to deal with the stuff. I cried at my dad's fathers funeral last January more because of how my dad was taking it then how I felt. Again I was a pall bearer, but I didn't even go up to the casket while it was open at the wake. 

We've been separated since August and I finally moved out of my parents house last week. Staying with them wasn't helpful because I can't make them understand all that went on between the two of us (mom still wants me to try to reconcile, thinks that she can talk to us and things we be all better). They don't know paper have been filed. My dad's mom doesn't know about our separation, I am not sure who on my mom's side knows what. I am on my own and know I need to work through this, but don't know where to start. I'm all jacked up.

I know its a lot, Thanks for reading.


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## Blanca

It's been my experience that when you go through traumatic events it does take years sometimes for everything to process. Once you slow down you will start to feel the effects, then you'll start to recognize what you're feeling, and after that you'll start to learn how to deal with those feelings. It's a long process and it takes a long time. Sometimes you never face the effects until something else in your life triggers that memory.


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