# [deleted]



## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

[deleted]


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I’m sure the replies will come pouring in .....


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> I’m sure the replies will come pouring in .....


Thanks.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> Hello.
> 
> So these are questions for all the ladies. For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it? Have you've had any long term negative effects of it like tearing, bacterial infections or fecal incontinence? Do the anal ring become lose over time because you have anal sex every day?
> 
> ...


I am going to suggest a little online research. What you want is something that gives you both the pros and cons of anal sex. Try to avoid sites that are directly against it, for they will only cite the negatives of such an activity. And while what they present will be true, they will neglect any pros, and word any cons to exaggerate them. Likewise, I don't want to send you to sources that will downplay the negatives either. This is the kind of activity that you want to keep safety foremost in mind, but it is quite doable and pleasurable to most if done right. It is way too frequent that people get turned off from it because of ill preparation, as to opposed to a proper and safe session, and simply not liking it.

Important questions: is this something you plan to propose to your woman, or something she is asking for? You mentioned daily. Why?

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

seems like using a condom would be wise, especially if you switch from Anal to PIV sex midcourse....you can just pull the condom off


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

The anus is designed to expel waste, the muscles go the wrong way for anything to be inserted, and yes they can get damaged and fecal incontinence can result later in life.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I have anal sex very sparingly. Yes it a muscle that can stretch and become large (I’m sure we have all seen porn stars with this gaping hole). 

Yes problems can happen if you do it frequently, and hard and put stuff in there. I am also in the medical field and I work in the operating room and I have seen problems like fistulas from this. 

I am prone to UTI and I usually get them after anal sex even with taking every precaution. 

My suggestion is don’t treat the anal like a vagina. Do it sparingly, like 5-10x a year. This way the Muscle will shrink back to its normal size. Continuous pressure in that area is what causes problems, so don’t put continuous pressure there. It’s common sense.


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> I have anal sex very sparingly. Yes it a muscle that can stretch and become large (I’m sure we have all seen porn stars with this gaping hole).
> 
> Yes problems can happen if you do it frequently, and hard and put stuff in there. I am also in the medical field and I work in the operating room and I have seen problems like fistulas from this.
> 
> ...


thanks for the response. sensible


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

The Mighty Fred said:


> thanks for the response. sensible


...this isn't your thread. Or is it?


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

bobert said:


> ...this isn't your thread. Or is it?


HAHAHAHAAAA! Dang it...sucks when you get your socks mixed up! 


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

od19g6 said:


> Hello.
> 
> So these are questions for all the ladies. For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it? Have you've had any long term negative effects of it like tearing, bacterial infections or fecal incontinence? Do the anal ring become lose over time because you have anal sex every day?
> 
> ...


have had anal sex for a couple years. Very sparingly. Have had a few UTI's though not sure directly related to anal sex. Never had tearing or incontinence. Why would you have anal every day? That seems boring . And someone mentioned going from anal to vaginal in the same sitting. We never do that. If we use both in one session it would be vaginal then anal. Don't screw around with safety. 

In general we don't do it often enough to have major problems and you should read up on how to acclimate the anus for safety and pleasure. It isn't just ram it in kind of thing.

In addition I'll add that some form of vibrator makes the experience much better for the woman.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I am going to suggest a little online research. What you want is something that gives you both the pros and cons of anal sex. Try to avoid sites that are directly against it, for they will only cite the negatives of such an activity. And while what they present will be true, they will neglect any pros, and word any cons to exaggerate them. Likewise, I don't want to send you to sources that will downplay the negatives either. This is the kind of activity that you want to keep safety foremost in mind, but it is quite doable and pleasurable to most if done right. It is way too frequent that people get turned off from it because of ill preparation, as to opposed to a proper and safe session, and simply not liking it.
> 
> Important questions: is this something you plan to propose to your woman, or something she is asking for? You mentioned daily. Why?
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Thanks for the reply.

I'm about the get into dating and eventually marry.

So this is for near future reference. This something I may plan to propose to my woman.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> seems like using a condom would be wise, especially if you switch from Anal to PIV sex midcourse....you can just pull the condom off


Thanks for the reply.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> The anus is designed to expel waste, the muscles go the wrong way for anything to be inserted, and yes they can get damaged and fecal incontinence can result later in life.


Thanks for the reply.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> I have anal sex very sparingly. Yes it a muscle that can stretch and become large (I’m sure we have all seen porn stars with this gaping hole).
> 
> Yes problems can happen if you do it frequently, and hard and put stuff in there. I am also in the medical field and I work in the operating room and I have seen problems like fistulas from this.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply.

I agree the you shouldn't treat the anus/rectum like the vaginal. They are two different things.

But let me ask, porn stars treat the anus/rectum like the vagina all the the time, so do porn stars have anal/rectal complications all the time?

And it is interesting that you work in the medical field. So how often do women come in with anal complications due to strictly anal sex?

How many years has you as a woman engaged in anal sex?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

My experience is she needs to be into the idea of anal. If she is uptight about it it is going to be difficult and not enjoyable for her. You need to go slow and work up to it with fingers and small toys. Ample lube is highly recommended. And porn is not real life so no switching from A-V without a thorough cleaning. Some women enjoy it some it's a hard no way ever.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> have had anal sex for a couple years. Very sparingly. Have had a few UTI's though not sure directly related to anal sex. Never had tearing or incontinence. Why would you have anal every day? That seems boring . And someone mentioned going from anal to vaginal in the same sitting. We never do that. If we use both in one session it would be vaginal then anal. Don't screw around with safety.
> 
> In general we don't do it often enough to have major problems and you should read up on how to acclimate the anus for safety and pleasure. It isn't just ram it in kind of thing.
> 
> In addition I'll add that some form of vibrator makes the experience much better for the woman.


Thanks for the reply.

So what do you mean by sparingly? How many times a year?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I agree the you shouldn't treat the anus/rectum like the vaginal. They are two different things.
> 
> ...


I once saw a woman who had been in porn films being interviewed, she said her body had been badly damged by what she had done.Very sad.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I'm about the get into dating and eventually marry.
> 
> So this is for near future reference. This something I may plan to propose to my woman.


So you arent even dating and you are asking about anal sex. Maybe wait till you actually have a girlfriend before you decide what you want to do. However I dont think you are who you say you are, I think you are already a member here trying to hide that you are a member here.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

happyhusband0005 said:


> My experience is she needs to be into the idea of anal. If she is uptight about it it is going to be difficult and not enjoyable for her. You need to go slow and work up to it with fingers and small toys. Ample lube is highly recommended. And porn is not real life so no switching from A-V without a thorough cleaning. Some women enjoy it some it's a hard no way ever.


Thanks for the reply.

I kind of agree.

I would think that when a woman is truly aroused and ready for sexual activity her orifice becomes open including her anus. So even though the anus is naturally a little tighter than the vagina would it be easier especially with lube, for the penis to go in without any other preps?

When switching from anal to vaginal, whould you say that good quality antibacterial wipes are a good idea?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I kind of agree.
> 
> ...


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> So you arent even dating and you are asking about anal sex. Maybe wait till you actually have a girlfriend before you decide what you want to do. However I dont think you are who you say you are, I think you are already a member here trying to hide that you are a member here.


But this is important. I'm just talking about this so when I do get into a relationship I'll have my decision made up instead of dealing with this later.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I kind of agree.
> 
> ...


If it's her first time I would recommend working up to it a finger maybe two during PIV sex is a good idea. 

NO NO NO NO NO on the wipes. those are mostly alcohol and chemicals and genitals don't go well together. Good old fashion soap and a thorough rinse.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

happyhusband0005 said:


> If it's her first time I would recommend working up to it a finger maybe two during PIV sex is a good idea.
> 
> NO NO NO NO NO on the wipes. those are mostly alcohol and chemicals and genitals don't go well together. Good old fashion soap and a thorough rinse.


Ok.
Thanks for the reply.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> So what do you mean by sparingly? How many times a year?


My husband isn't it to it so it is only a couple times a year.

You seem like you are getting your ideas from porn. Frankly this isn't very representative of how much works in real life sex. Second when you are dating and married you should realize many women just aren't into anal. And many men don't know how to do it right. If you had asked my 20 year old self the answer would have been no. 30 no. There is a season for everything.

You should try dating and regular sex before doing anything like anal.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I kind of agree.
> 
> ...


The vagina is designed for sex, the anus isnt so no it doesnt expand/open up like the vagina. I would suggest cutting out the porn.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

od19g6 said:


> But this is important. I'm just talking about this so when I do get into a relationship I'll have my decision made up instead of dealing with this later.


However what happens in a relationship isnt all down to you. Whatever decision you make will make no difference if she says no, which many women would.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> My husband isn't it to it so it is only a couple times a year.
> 
> You seem like you are getting your ideas from porn. Frankly this isn't very representative of how much works in real life sex. Second when you are dating and married you should realize many women just aren't into anal. And many men don't know how to do it right. If you had asked my 20 year old self the answer would have been no. 30 no. There is a season for everything.
> 
> You should try dating and regular sex before doing anything like anal.


"And many men don't know how to do it right."

And that I think is why some anal sex have bad outcomes.


I'm not getting my ideas from porn, this topic is strictly about anal sex.

I understand a good number of women is not into anal sex. That is why if I was to ask/introduce anal sex to her and she says no then that's that. I won't ask her besides one time.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> The vagina is designed for sex, the anus isnt so no it doesnt expand/open up like the vagina. I would suggest cutting out the porn.


Ok I understand.
And thanks for the reply.

But let me humbly ask you this.
Why the assumption that I am a porn addict?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

od19g6 said:


> Ok I understand.
> And thanks for the reply.
> 
> But let me humbly ask you this.
> Why the assumption that I am a porn addict?


Didnt say you were a porn addict, but that you probably watch porn and anal sex in porn.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Didnt say you were a porn addict, but that you probably watch porn and anal sex in porn.


Well let's not make this about porn.
The topic is strictly about anal sex.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I’m having a difficult time believing the TAM old timers are biting on this one. Really guys? Let’s not feed the frenzy. Me thinks a lot of youngsters and weirdos have plenty of time on their hands on NYE.

Before I get bashed by the mods, the utter amount of trolls and socks running around tonight should keep you busy enough, much less me reporting all suspected posts.

I’ll just check back in tomorrow morning...or whenever the trash gets cleaned up.




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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I’m having a difficult time believing the TAM old timers are biting on this one. Really guys? Let’s not feed the frenzy. Me thinks a lot of youngsters and weirdos have plenty of time on their hands on NYE.
> 
> Before I get bashed by the mods, the utter amount of trolls and socks running around tonight should keep you busy enough, much less me reporting all suspected posts.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Personal said:


> If your looking for assurance, the following might be right up your alley.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Seriously, sometimes I'm hesitant to go on internet forums because of stuff like this.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

od19g6 said:


> Seriously, sometimes I'm hesitant to go on internet forums because of stuff like this.


Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

od19g6 said:


> Seriously, sometimes I'm hesitant to go on internet forums because of stuff like this.


It's all in good humour, that said what would you like to know?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Well that’s the pot calling the kettle black.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


How so, explain.

I came on a "marriage and sex forum" to seriously talk about the issue of anal sex and get some serious opinions and education.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Personal said:


> It's all in good humour, that said what would you like to know?


My original quote.

I'm beginning to take serious caution on here. Because maybe this forum is not so on topic after all.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

od19g6 said:


> So these are questions for all the ladies.


Well being a man that counts me out.

So I guess my experience of doing penetrative anal sex and more general anal play, with several women through the last 31 years. Including penetrating my wife anally lots of times a week, through most weeks of every year for close to 24 years isn't relevant.



> For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it? Have you've had any long term negative effects of it like tearing, bacterial infections or fecal incontinence? Do the anal ring become lose over time because you have anal sex every day?


...



> I'm just concerned about the risk because I'm deciding whether I should engage in anal sex with my woman.


And you should be concerned since it comes with risk.



> So I would like as many replys as possible for some assurance.


Since your question is for the "ladies", I figure you are not likely to get as many replies as possible.



> Thank you.


You're welcome.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

od19g6 said:


> Hello.
> 
> So these are questions for all the ladies. For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it? Have you've had any long term negative effects of it like tearing, bacterial infections or fecal incontinence? Do the anal ring become lose over time because you have anal sex every day?
> 
> ...


100% no for me. Never ever ever


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

itskaren said:


> 100% no for me. Never ever ever


Ok.
Thanks for the reply.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Personal said:


> Well being a man that counts me out.
> 
> So I guess my experience of doing penetrative anal sex and more general anal play, with several women through the last 31 years. Including penetrating my wife anally lots of times a week, through most weeks of every year for close to 24 years isn't relevant.
> 
> ...


Yes, I'm talking about men to women anal sex. The woman is the receiving partner.

Now say what you were going to say.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> So you arent even dating and you are asking about anal sex. Maybe wait till you actually have a girlfriend before you decide what you want to do. However I dont think you are who you say you are, I think you are already a member here trying to hide that you are a member here.


WTF? Before he gets involved is the perfect time to ask these questions. He should be figuring out what he wants in a woman and what he is willing to compromise on so that he's not coming out of the blue with some of these things after years of being together. Heck, that's a top 10 complaint around here. "Why did you wait this long before revealing you wanted this?" Should you have waited till you were dating to decide if you were going to be monogamous or not? Did you wait till you were dating to decide you wouldn't do anal? Or were those things you had already decided about yourself and what you wanted in a mate, both dating and marriage?

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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> I would think that when a woman is truly aroused and ready for sexual activity her orifice becomes open including her anus.


Red Alert! All Stop! Do NOT go there and follow that myth! Remember that anuses are the same for men and women. When you think about what you plan to do with her, imagine what you want done to you. When you are aroused does your anus become open?



> So even though the anus is naturally a little tighter than the vagina would it be easier especially with lube, for the penis to go in without any other preps?


You need preparation. At the least is the lube. An evacuation (taking a dump) or an enema prior to anal sex is highly recommended. Condom use is also recommend for two reasons. One easier clean up when you are done if there was still something left in the cavity, and ease of transition back to the vagina. Don't let the porns fool you. Those things are edited. There are actually gaps between going back and forth or a lot of precautions (at least with the good studios) are taken beforehand.



> When switching from anal to vaginal, whould you say that good quality antibacterial wipes are a good idea?


Try to save the anal for the "finale". Or as mentioned above, use condoms, and replace when switching. You are just as subceptable to infections during anal, as she is.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> Well let's not make this about porn.
> The topic is strictly about anal sex.


To some here, you can only get ideas like that from porn. Basically, for anything unusual, there is an automatic assumption of porn for many.

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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> Seriously, sometimes I'm hesitant to go on internet forums because of stuff like this.


Then you'll never get anywhere. There are always going to be ones like that. Now quite honestly, I'm not sure if that specific post was supposed to be snark, or bad dad joke. I've pulled the dad jokes out occasionally myself. But for every negative you encounter, you have the others who will give you actually information, as some of us have. Whether you like that information or not, is a different matter altogether.

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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I agree the you shouldn't treat the anus/rectum like the vaginal. They are two different things.
> 
> ...



Have you seen porn stars with gaping anuses? Seriously. 

I have seen a lot of men and women come in from problems with anal play in general. I have seen men get stuff stuck up there because for whatever reason it like a suction and it sucks things up.
I have seen a women with a fistula between her rectum and vagina, and stool was coming out of her vagina because there was a connection between the two. I’ll post a picture so you can see what I’m talking about. But they are two separate passage ways separated by a thin wall. When there is too much pressure placed on that wall, or the wall thins for whatever reason it creates a fistual, which is a connection or path between the two.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)




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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

https://www.vice.com/sv/article/qbvmz3/a-rosebud-by-any-other-name-would-smell-like-****


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

od19g6 said:


> For those who engage in anal sex, how many years have you been having it?


I've been doing penetrative anal sex on different women for over 30 years. My wife has been on the receiving end of penetrative anal sex for over 20 years. While I have also been on the receiving end of anal penetration and anal play very occasionally back in 1989-1991, then much more often for over a decade now.



> Have you've had any long term negative effects of it like tearing, bacterial infections or fecal incontinence?


My wife has on rare occasion felt slightly sore afterwards, yet that happen once every several years and she is fine after giving it a rest for a day. My wife has never had any problems with fecal incontinence, bacterial infections or any other problems. Plus now that my wife is 50, bowel cancer screening also says she is fine as well. She also doesn't have any problems going to the toilet even when she has sperm in her behind. As to UTI's my wife has seldom ever had that problem, with it occurring twice throughout the time I have known her.

I haven't had any problems either.



> Do the anal ring become lose over time because you have anal sex every day?


Not in our experience, although my wife and I have never shared everyday throughout our time together. That said one can relax oneself and accommodate things when one wants to and it helps being aroused. Not everyone's anus looks open as a general thing. My wife's still always looks closed tight when not being parted or stretched open.


That said I wrote the following on another forum in answer to someone else who was wanting advice on getting into anal sex. Which may inform you further on the subject. That said doing some internet searches might help you as well.

As a guy who has been having anal sex with different women since 1989. Including doing my wife (married for 21 years, & together for 24) anally, multiple times a week (usually 4-6x and sometimes more) for more than two decades. Plus being on the receiving end of prostate massage and anal play myself as well, here are some of my suggestions.

Stay sober, do not have yourself or your partner take anything that will impair your senses. Since you can do serious damage if not careful, or experienced. Anal really shouldn't be a painful experience, in fact pain is natures way of telling you something is wrong and to pause, adjust and or stop. In fact when done right it can be a pleasant experience for a woman and for some can even bring them to orgasm, yet it certainly isn't for everybody.

Also avoid using numbing lubes, now sure you may turn up to a shop and ask for lube for anal sex, and you may be offered a numbing lube which comes in a very small tube and only requires a small application. Yet beware anything which dulls sensation, comes at a great risk of injury so do you and your partner a favour and don't go there.

On positions to start I recommend spooning from behind with both of you laying on your sides, on a bed as one of the best ways to start. Followed by or alternatively going into her from behind (doggy) with her kneeling on a firm support, while also having her torso supported so have her positioned at the side of a bed. Other positions can all be fine as well, after getting into it with some practice. Yet to begin with you have a better chance at success (comfort), starting with the positions I recommend.

As to the risk, one can suffer from prolapse, tears, fissures, fecal incontinence and have other problems, so I encourage you to only go down this path if you are both cognisant of the risks and are willing despite them.

That said my wife has been on the receiving end of very frequent anal sex, which includes penetration via a penis, butt plugs, dildos, thumb, finger/s, and all digits not past the knuckles through 23 years of receiving it so far. Yet she has not suffered any problems from the practice, that said we are both very mindful of injury, stop if anything doesn't feel right and always sober while doing it that way.So it can be done without it being a problem,

On lube, it is a good idea to get additional lube for the activity, that said in my experience you want the right amount of lube and not too much of the stuff. Since too much can make it to too slippery to get ones penis in easily. That said the more you do it the better able you are to gauge how much works with who you are with.

Likewise in my experience with my wife we often eschew commercial lube and use spit/drool hers or mine plus sometimes her vaginal fluids, and that is sufficient for us having done this now for decades together with her being receptive and used to entry etc. Although despite often eschewing additional lube, we still have it handy and still very occasionally use it.

On which lube to use, we've tried various commercial lubes, they all kind of work the same so it doesn't matter to us which one, although we tend towards using Pjur products most often for that purpose.

It is also worth noting however that if we are going to use a dildo, butt plug etc (i.e. not our own parts) we always lube up such objects with a commercially manufactured lube while not forgetting hygienic treatment of those objects both before and after anal play.

Other unpleasantness to watch out for is UTI's so be careful of going from anus to vagina and vice versa, although my wife she has only experienced having a UTI twice ever and we have done that kind of thing a bit as well and her UTI experience when with me wasn't related to us doing that. Anyway it can't hurt to err to being cautious, especially in the beginning of doing such things.

Condoms are a good idea especially with girlfriends for STI/STD stuff, of which infection can be at a greater incidence through anal sex. Plus in my experience condoms can be handy for wanting to switch up from vagina to anus without having to sanitise between changes.

It also helps for the receiving partner to be relaxed and sometimes push outward at times, since that can open them up a bit more as well. Communication is important as well, that doesn't mean you need to constantly be checking it's okay or having you being told it's okay, yet it can't hurt to check in or tell at some point in the early days of that kind of thing.

Also start small first so fingers before building up to using your penis. Plus getting there safely and without it being an exercise in pain, is better done over a period of sessions rather than all at once.

When putting in a finger or other digits, a bit of rubbing on the entrance before easing it in gently works well. One cool thing about having your fingers inside a woman is, it's a great experience feeling the build up to orgasm, the distinct tipping point of orgasm, through the lengthy orgasm and the ebbing away of orgasm while ones fingers are in her arse. It's also a useful guide knowing what that feels like since you can tell when a woman is living closer to orgasm or losing the sensation before getting there, which can guide you to easy digital or oral orgasms for a woman when doing that to her.

Also when putting your penis in someones anus, it often doesn't just slip in, even with lube since it can slip away, yet make sure you take it slow push in one direction to get it in under one edge of the rectum then adjust to get the rest in then slowly push a little more till the glans a re in then pause a bit before slowly edging further in. Past the initial entry you will feel like there is a ring around you a bit past the entrance. Then as you push further in you will find another ring like sensation, which can feel quite pleasant as your penis pushes past it and comes backwards and then pushes past it again onwards etc. It also helps to be quite erect, otherwise it's like the saying of trying to push a wet noodle in, because it doesn't work very well.

As best as I can paraphrase my wife describes being on the receiving end variously as follows below. Of note though my wife sometimes orgasms through anal sex and enjoys doing it. It's worth adding that in her experience it sometimes doesn't do anything for her at all, plus it has hurt a little bit on rare occasion.

"Sometimes it just feels like pressure it isn't pleasant or unpleasant, it just isn't doing anything for me."

"Sometimes it feels so warm and great with my whole insides feeling filled, while the movement of it all pulses through me in wonderful waves."

One thing also worth mentioning, is that in the moment a woman can be really into it and grinding her anus on to your penis and you can feel her rectum gripping your penis and releasing it over and over. Yet a woman can be sore afterwards despite being very actively into it at the time. Plus with being sore, that is when to allow recovery time and not do it till that feeling has gone away. Which can be variable so a woman can have anal sex aplenty through many days on end and feel fine and then one day get sore from it and that experience is variable as well.

Cleanliness is a thing. Since 1989 I've only encountered a tiny amount of mess and smell no more than a handful of times, yet it is something that can come with the territory. If that kind of thing will bother you don't go there. If you can handle it, then have fun. Now I can't offer you any advice on any preparation involving enemas, since I have no experience with that. Yet some people swear by it for prep beforehand. That said in my experience as long as the receiver has good healthy bowel movements and hasn't got an upset stomach in any way mess and smells aren't things that are often encountered at all. Plus if your fingers go in first you will tend to find something before your penis goes in fi you are going to find something.

Since it is part of anal sex I will also mention rimming and ass to mouth activities. If your partner doesn't have an ice factor for such things she may do that. Of which with the women who I have experienced that with none of them ever got sick from it with me. With ass to mouth at least to the best of my knowledge looking up such things medically, they are not likely to get sick from tasting their own fecal matter. Rimming you on the other hand can come at a greater risk, since it is not their own fecal matter. That said whenever rimming is a thing for my wife and I we aways wash ourselves well before such play and it has never been an issue, while ass to mouth has never been a problem for my wife either.

On other stuff like inserting objects that don't have a substantial base or can break and get stuck inside, be very wary lest your partner has to make a trip to an emergency department in a hospital. Plus be aware that the connections between anal beads can break.

That covered I'm sure there a dozens of things I have forgotten to mention, yet I hope what I have shared helps a little. Anyway have fun trying it and if you have any more questions I will help if I can, so don't hesitate to ask.

...

I forgot to mention this before so I will add it here, and that issue is cumming inside your partner.

Now in my experience some women are okay with it and others not. Now usually a fair amount of the semen dribbles out or can be pushed out just afterwards. Yet having cum up ones rectum may linger up there for a bit. Which can make going to the toilet afterwards for a bit not always nice, yet some don't mind.

Of which when it comes to cumming inside a partners bum, if your partner doesn't mind the experience. With a bit of practice it becomes very easy to have ones first squirt of orgasm inside their rectum, followed by pulling it out and letting the rest of it go inside their mouth and or on their face, which is something my wife and I do a fair bit.

...

Also don't use warming lubes, because of the burn.



Anastasia6 said:


> And someone mentioned going from anal to vaginal in the same sitting. We never do that. If we use both in one session it would be vaginal then anal.


We frequently do both in our sex sessions. Tending to leave the anal part till last. Although there are times when we have done it sans cleaning without ill effects. That said I don't recommend doing that.

On the other hand we're fine with pulling my penis out of my wife's anus and having her take it in her mouth frequently. And we've been doing that for many years without any issues.



Diana7 said:


> The vagina is designed for sex, the anus isnt so no it doesnt expand/open up like the vagina. I would suggest cutting out the porn.


Well my wife likes being ****ed up her ass, and sometimes orgasms from it as a standalone thing and frequently enjoys it otherwise. So I guess she will keep wanting it, as long as it works for her. She also especially likes being penetrated vaginally and anally at the same time and very often becomes notably very base, animalistic and extremely carnal and sexually wild when I do that to her.

I've also been with some other women who loved it as well, so for some women it works for them.

If someone doesn't want to do it, then they shouldn't do it. For those who do want to, and it works for them, they can get a lot of pleasure out of it.

That said @od19g6 I hope that helps answer your questions.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Plus what @Girl_power is posting is very helpful, since all involved should be cognisant of the risks and be careful in practice if one is prepared to take such risks.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Your not even dating yet why are you so Into anal porn? Why are you so into something you have never had? 

No women wants to have strictly anal sex.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> No women wants to have strictly anal sex.


Yep.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

This is a normal diagram. But look how small that wall is between the rectum and vagina.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Men’s anatomy is completely different. Men can have all the anal sex they want and there will never be a fistulas created and they rarely rarely ever get UTIs. And the person who gets the UTI is the one putting his penis in an anus, and even then they rarely get UTIs because their urethras are so long.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I would like to be a fly on the wall when the OP announces to a woman he is talking with and/or dating that he has considered it carefully, gathered research, and weighed the risks and he feels that it is safe for her to have anal sex with him.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Oh and OP just for a reality check, 2 out of the 3 people I have had anal sex with got poop on their ****... during sex. And that’s the reality.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Girl_power said:


> Oh and OP just for a reality check, 2 out of the 3 people I have had anal sex with got poop on their ****... during sex. And that’s the reality.


Hence the common recommendation to use a condom.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

You know, for me anal sex was an intriguing idea. But the more I learned about it, the more I figured I could very easily do without. Not really missing anything, imho, especially since it doesn't do a whole lot for women apparently, other than a bit of nice sensation and able to please her man. My wife's never been keen on the idea the times I brought it up. Easy to take a pass on, for me, too.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

The Mighty Fred said:


> You know, for me anal sex was an intriguing idea. But the more I learned about it, the more I figured I could very easily do without.


I knew my wife had done it in the past and I couldn’t let it go. Did it one time with her and yeah you’re not missing much although I am glad I did it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

We've had discussion on TAM on this topic. Several of the women here experienced anal fissures. They often do not heal well and reopen and bleed for what seems to be no apparent reason.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Girl_power said:


> I have anal sex very sparingly. Yes it a muscle that can stretch and become large (I’m sure we have all seen porn stars with this gaping hole).
> 
> Yes problems can happen if you do it frequently, and hard and put stuff in there. I am also in the medical field and I work in the operating room and I have seen problems like fistulas from this.
> 
> ...


That's not a UTI, at least not in the normal sense of that term. It's most likely an E.coli infection due to contamination with faecal matter.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I kind of agree.
> 
> I would think that when a woman is truly aroused and* ready for sexual activity her orifice becomes open including her anus.* So even though the anus is naturally a little tighter than the vagina would it be easier especially with lube, for the penis to go in without any other preps?


That's the oddest thing I've heard/read in a long time. A woman's anus does not open when she's aroused. The anus is not part of a woman's sexual organs. I think you need to study female anatomy a lot more.



od19g6 said:


> When switching from anal to vaginal, whould you say that good quality antibacterial wipes are a good idea?


No, water and soap and a lot of it is a good idea. 

Men can get E.coli infections of their penis from anal sex. Women can get vaginal and bladder infections.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> That's not a UTI, at least not in the normal sense of that term. It's most likely an E.coli infection due to contamination with faecal matter.


It’s a UTI. Most UTIs are caused from E. coli. Urinary tract infection... any infection in the urinary tract is a UTI. I’ve had them so bad that they traveled to my kidneys (pyelonephritis) which can be super dangerous. 

And yes it’s the ecoli from my... let’s say anal juices. That’s the problem with anal sex with women, the anus and vagina are so close together.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I once saw a woman who had been in porn films being interviewed, she said her body had been badly damged by what she had done.Very sad.


Not quite the same thing. That's like comparing a personal car being driving in the country versus a taxicab in a busy city..


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> That's not a UTI, at least not in the normal sense of that term. It's most likely an E.coli infection due to contamination with faecal matter.


I had a boyfriend one time that always touched my anus. When he fingered me he would touch it... I would get a UTI. When we were doing doggy style we would touch my anus, and without realizing it he would eventually rub my clit with the same hand... I would get a UTI.
This dude was obsessed with butt, I had to constantly tell him to stop touching it. 

That on top of the fact that I have a very short urethra makes it easy for me to get UTIs.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> I had a boyfriend one time that always touched my anus.


You couldn't just say "Dude, it's one for the pink and the other for the stink!" ??

Not that difficult to keep them sorted.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Trident said:


> You couldn't just say "Dude, it's one for the pink and the other for the stink!" ??
> 
> Not that difficult to keep them sorted.


Because he generally just rubbed the area with his hands/fingers. It’s not like he stuck out his index finger and jabbed me with it lol.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

ccpowerslave said:


> I would like to be a fly on the wall when the OP announces to a woman he is talking with and/or dating that he has considered it carefully, gathered research, and weighed the risks and he feels that it is safe for her to have anal sex with him.


This made me laugh really hard.

I think it's weird that OP is conducting this "research" when he's not currently in a relationship... Ew.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Positive thinking.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The Mighty Fred said:


> Not really missing anything, imho, *especially since it doesn't do a whole lot for women apparently*, other than a bit of nice sensation and able to please her man.


Except that isn't true for plenty of women, who anal sex does whole lot for. Including my wife who sometimes orgasms through receiving standalone anal penetration, amongst all the other ways that she can reach orgasm.

At the end of the day pleasing ones man by doing something you don't like, seems a silly reason to do something sexually. As for my wife she has anal sex, for the pleasure it brings her.



> *Women’s Experiences with Anal Sex: Motivations and Implications for STD Prevention* - Guttmacher Institute
> 
> Emily Maynard
> Alex Carballo-Diéguez
> ...





> *I Genuinely Like Anal Sex—and I’m Tired of Feeling Bad About It* - Glamour
> 
> But then something happened in my early thirties. Perhaps it was the confidence that came with age and sexual experience, but I found myself having anal sex with someone I was dating and loving it. _Really _loving it.
> 
> But there was still shame—this time about enjoying anal, rather than just engaging in it. It went back to what liking anal sex said about me as a woman. Was I dirty?





> *Why Anal Sex Is Pleasurable For Some People — But Not Everyone* - Refinery29
> 
> ...
> 
> From a physiological standpoint, we know that people tend to have a tremendous amount of sensation at the opening of the anus, Dr. Britton says, which is why it's often regarded as an erogenous zone. Some people with vaginas are able to orgasm from anal sex, because their anus is so close to the vaginal wall and pelvic floor. But others might not have the same level of sensitivity in their vaginal wall, so anal orgasms aren't guaranteed for everyone.





> *How To Have An Orgasm From Anal Sex* - Refinery29
> ...
> 
> Anal orgasms are possible for people with vaginas because of the anus' proximity to the nerve endings of the vaginal wall and pelvic floor, says Evan Goldstein, DO, founder of Bespoke Surgical. By having butt sex, you can pleasure your vagina from indirect contact, he says. Not to mention, your anal opening and the inside of your butt are erogenous zones in and of themselves. Even if you don't get off from anal play alone, the anus is a part of the body riddled with nerve endings that, when stimulated properly, can provide an array of sensual delights.
> ...


So although there are plenty of women who don't want to do anal sex or don't enjoy anal sex, there are also women who do enjoy it.

The fact that my wife easily and frequently orgasms through standalone penis in vagina sex, may also be a contributing factor, as to why she enjoys anal sex and can orgasm through standalone penis in anus sex as well.

That said @The Mighty Fred I'm not encouraging you or anyone else to do such things. Since it certainly isn't for everyone. Plus not all men are good at that kind of thing, so they can inadvertently do real harm to their sexual partners without meaning to.



EleGirl said:


> We've had discussion on TAM on this topic. Several of the women here experienced anal fissures. They often do not heal well and reopen and bleed for what seems to be no apparent reason.


I have no doubt that several of the women on TAM who have participated in those discussions and many others have experienced anal fissures as well. Yet so far that has not been my wife's experience through more than 20 years of receiving lots of anal sex.

That said plenty of people experience anal fissures without ever having had anal sex. Since passing large or hard stools can cause it. As can the following: constipation, straining bowel movements, chronic diarrhoea, childbirth, Crohn's disease, anal cancer, Tuberculosis, HIV or Syphilis.



Girl_power said:


> It’s a UTI. Most UTIs are caused from E. coli. Urinary tract infection... any infection in the urinary tract is a UTI. I’ve had them so bad that they traveled to my kidneys (pyelonephritis) which can be super dangerous.


Then there's the women who mostly have anal sex several times a week through many years. Who have hardly ever had or never had urinary tract infections. While my wife has only ever had two UTIs, with one of those infections being a pregnancy thing.



> And yes it’s the ecoli from my... let’s say anal juices.


I don't doubt your experience of this, yet that has not been the experience of my wife and I. To the point that if it was our experience, neither of us would want do anal sex together.

For us despite doing it a a tremendous amount for many years, our experience of mess has been almost non existent and when there has been some it has been so rare in frequency as best as I can recall it was twice and was found via digital probing, through more than two decades of it all. And even then it was almost nothing, yet it was enough for pause in those instances.

So not all of us have had the problems you have experienced.

That said given that you have had plenty of problems with mess and UTI's, I really think you should consider not having any anal sex at all.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Personal said:


> I've been doing penetrative anal sex on different women for over 30 years. My wife has been on the receiving end of penetrative anal sex for over 20 years. While I have also been on the receiving end of anal penetration and anal play very occasionally back in 1989-1991, then much more often for over a decade now.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Your wife is only 50. She may well have physical promlems later on.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> I knew my wife had done it in the past and I couldn’t let it go. Did it one time with her and yeah you’re not missing much although I am glad I did it.


I dont even have to do it to know that I am missing absolutely nothing, Zilch. Nada. Apart from a lot of pain and I am not a masochist.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Trident said:


> Not quite the same thing. That's like comparing a personal car being driving in the country versus a taxicab in a busy city..


She isnt alone.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> We've had discussion on TAM on this topic. Several of the women here experienced anal fissures. They often do not heal well and reopen and bleed for what seems to be no apparent reason.


Not surprisingly, the anus isnt designed for having sex, there is a perfectly good vagina designed for that very purpose.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> I would like to be a fly on the wall when the OP announces to a woman he is talking with and/or dating that he has considered it carefully, gathered research, and weighed the risks and he feels that it is safe for her to have anal sex with him.


That made me laugh.
Absolutely, thats why its silly for him to decide on anything till he meets a lady and finds out what she is ok with.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Your wife is only 50. She may well have physical promlems later on.


Now your moving correlation/causation fallacy territory. Most of the physical problems she _might_ develop later on, have shown up in people who have not had anal sex as well as those who have.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> She isnt alone.


That seems rather non sequitur to what you responded to. Elaborate please.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> Now your moving correlation/causation fallacy territory. Most of the physical problems she _might_ develop later on, have shown up in people who have not had anal sex as well as those who have.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


There are far more issues physically with those who have had anal sex, stands to reason, the anus isnt in anyway designed for anything to be inserted, the muscles all go the wrong way and are for expelling waste.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

maquiscat said:


> That seems rather non sequitur to what you responded to. Elaborate please.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Thst she isnt the only porn actress who has been physically badly damaged by what she has done.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Thst she isnt the only porn actress who has been physically badly damaged by what she has done.


Then you missed completely what they were saying. To compare the sexual activity of a porn actor to that of a general person Is like comparing the damage of a wreaking ball to that of a bowling ball. Naturally a porn actor is going to be at higher risk for damage due to sexual activities. As a truck driver, I am at higher risk to be in an accident than you are. Yet I have never been in one since I started driving professionally over 2 decades ago. 

Basically anything done to excess increases the risk of the negatives. So Trying to use an excess to show the dangers of an infrequent activity is simply disingenuous.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> There are far more issues physically with those who have had anal sex, stands to reason, the anus isnt in anyway designed for anything to be inserted, the muscles all go the wrong way and are for expelling waste.


There is more risk for certain, but we have already shown that it isn't an automatic that engaging in anal sex on a moderate to frequent basis will cause damage. For that matter, for all that there are indeed porn actors who have been damaged from excessive amounts of anal sex, there are also those who have not been so damaged.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

This thread is just becoming an argument. 
Some people like anal sex, some people don’t. There are risk factors when having anal sex, and most people don’t experience them. It’s not a big deal. 

The OP who we all scared away got a lot of good information. 

My final advice to him... if you and your future girlfriend want to try anal sex, try it and see what you think. But it’s not a vagina, and shouldn’t be used like one. Also, every women is different so it might affect them differently.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I dont even have to do it to know that I am missing absolutely nothing, Zilch. Nada. Apart from a lot of pain and I am not a masochist.


You don't like it, that's fine, but other people like it and that's their choice, their business. 

You can repurpose parts of your body, and it shows how pleasurable that could be. And who knows, the guy might find someone who likes behind play and that's perfectly fine. 

It would be a perfect match, actually!


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> WTF? Before he gets involved is the perfect time to ask these questions. He should be figuring out what he wants in a woman and what he is willing to compromise on so that he's not coming out of the blue with some of these things after years of being together. Heck, that's a top 10 complaint around here. "Why did you wait this long before revealing you wanted this?" Should you have waited till you were dating to decide if you were going to be monogamous or not? Did you wait till you were dating to decide you wouldn't do anal? Or were those things you had already decided about yourself and what you wanted in a mate, both dating and marriage?
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Thanks.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Your wife is only 50. She may well have physical promlems later on.


She might, although the reality is it is not likely to happen at all.

And if she does have problems, it is still unlikely that it will be a consequence of her enjoying anal sex in the ways that she does.

At the end of the day all life comes at a risk, and some of us are not afraid.

*Does Anal Sex Do Longterm Damage?*
By Justin Lehmiller, PhD



> Significant physical trauma due to anal eroticism is rare, and most cases that have required medical attention have been attributed to activities like fisting.





> Thus, aside from those who are really pushing their body's limits, there isn't really any evidence that anal sex is likely to damage the anus.





> "More common anal sex practices seem very unlikely to cause serious health issues."





> However, Prause went on to note that "research on obstetric injuries give us some idea that speed and force are the major issue in traumatic injuries.





> The available scientific evidence suggests that, for the vast majority of people having anal sex (porn stars notwithstanding), major injury, rectal prolapse, and bowel control issues seem to be highly unlikely outcomes.


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

Personal thanks for the cite about actual female pleasure. I was repeating what a woman told me. Personally its not especially necessary to my gratification but would give a sense of dominance.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> WTF? Before he gets involved is the perfect time to ask these questions. He should be figuring out what he wants in a woman and what he is willing to compromise on so that he's not coming out of the blue with some of these things after years of being together. Heck, that's a top 10 complaint around here. "Why did you wait this long before revealing you wanted this?" Should you have waited till you were dating to decide if you were going to be monogamous or not? Did you wait till you were dating to decide you wouldn't do anal? Or were those things you had already decided about yourself and what you wanted in a mate, both dating and marriage?
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Thanks.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> Red Alert! All Stop! Do NOT go there and follow that myth! Remember that anuses are the same for men and women. When you think about what you plan to do with her, imagine what you want done to you. When you are aroused does your anus become open?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I understand that there are some preperation. I was just saying that I think that for some women the reason why anal sex doesn't go well is because they really don't want to do it.

Maybe if she is seriously aroused and into it this would probably go much smoother.

Pooping before anal sex is really a turn off. I've heard that the rectum doesn't really hold the faeces.

I if a couple wants to go from anal to vaginal or anal to mouth, is it a good idea to use "benzalkonium chloride" wipes as a good measure for switching?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> To some here, you can only get ideas like that from porn. Basically, for anything unusual, there is an automatic assumption of porn for many.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


You don't have to get any ideas from porn.
A person can be very creative in sex on their own.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> Then you'll never get anywhere. There are always going to be ones like that. Now quite honestly, I'm not sure if that specific post was supposed to be snark, or bad dad joke. I've pulled the dad jokes out occasionally myself. But for every negative you encounter, you have the others who will give you actually information, as some of us have. Whether you like that information or not, is a different matter altogether.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


I understand.

I'm still hesitant sometimes.
But I still want to know, so I manage to post anyway.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Have you seen porn stars with gaping anuses? Seriously.
> 
> I have seen a lot of men and women come in from problems with anal play in general. I have seen men get stuff stuck up there because for whatever reason it like a suction and it sucks things up.
> I have seen a women with a fistula between her rectum and vagina, and stool was coming out of her vagina because there was a connection between the two. I’ll post a picture so you can see what I’m talking about. But they are two separate passage ways separated by a thin wall. When there is too much pressure placed on that wall, or the wall thins for whatever reason it creates a fistual, which is a connection or path between the two.


So you work in the medical field?

I was asking how many women come in because of complications from "anal intercourse" not necessarily "anal play."

The fistula complication dosen't really make sense. Aren't te the rectum and vagina separated by a wall? So how can they "connect" by strictly anal intercourse?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Your not even dating yet why are you so Into anal porn? Why are you so into something you have never had?
> 
> No women wants to have strictly anal sex.


I didn't say she strictly wanted to have anal sex.
I said that the topic here is strictly about anal sex.

What do you mean why are you so into something you have never had? Can I prepare myself so that this won't be issue when I do get a women?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> This is a normal diagram. But look how small that wall is between the rectum and vagina.


But can it become "connected" during anal intercourse?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Men’s anatomy is completely different. Men can have all the anal sex they want and there will never be a fistulas created and they rarely rarely ever get UTIs. And the person who gets the UTI is the one putting his penis in an anus, and even then they rarely get UTIs because their urethras are so long.


Well the subject is not about homosexual anal, but about heterosexual anal sex.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I would like to be a fly on the wall when the OP announces to a woman he is talking with and/or dating that he has considered it carefully, gathered research, and weighed the risks and he feels that it is safe for her to have anal sex with him.


It's possible that I won't ask at all.
That's why I trying to gather some information and education I guess.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Oh and OP just for a reality check, 2 out of the 3 people I have had anal sex with got poop on their ****... during sex. And that’s the reality.


If heard that the rectum doesn't hold the faeces when you don't have to go.

So could the reality be that they are doing anal sex very wrong?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> I understand that there are some preperation. I was just saying that I think that for some women the reason why anal sex doesn't go well is because they really don't want to do it.
> 
> Maybe if she is seriously aroused and into it this would probably go much smoother.
> 
> ...





od19g6 said:


> I understand that there are some preperation. I was just saying that I think that for some women the reason why anal sex doesn't go well is because they really don't want to do it.


That is a much better wording. I was worried you had some major misconceptions there. Even so, you might avoid wording this in terms of what happens with women as opposed to people in general. 

That said, yes if a person is fearful (even if willing or wanting) any tensing can cause anal to be harder to safely or comfortably achieve.



> Pooping before anal sex is really a turn off. I've heard that the rectum doesn't really hold the faeces.


Each person has their own turn ons and turn offs, but I would think seeing feces when pulling out would be more of a turn off instead of knowing she took a dump before sex. The idea of evacuation prior to sex, is nothing on the penis when done, and cleaning completely after evacuation is done but before sex.



> if a couple wants to go from anal to vaginal or anal to mouth, is it a good idea to use "benzalkonium chloride" wipes as a good measure for switching?


No. Soap and water. You don't want to risk ingestion or absorbtion. 



> Benzalkonium chloride is a human skin and severe eye irritant.[29] It is a suspected respiratory toxicant, immunotoxicant, gastrointestinal toxicant, and neurotoxicant.[30][31][32]
> 
> Benzalkonium chloride formulations for consumer use are dilute solutions. Concentrated solutions are toxic to humans, causing corrosion/irritation to the skin and mucosa, and death if taken internally in sufficient volumes. 0.1% is the maximum concentration of benzalkonium chloride that does not produce primary irritation on intact skin or act as a sensitizer.[33]


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> You don't have to get any ideas from porn.
> A person can be very creative in sex on their own.


I know that. I was just warning you that some people can't imagine people coming up with these ideas without porn.

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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> So you work in the medical field?
> 
> I was asking how many women come in because of complications from "anal intercourse" not necessarily "anal play."
> 
> The fistula complication dosen't really make sense. Aren't te the rectum and vagina separated by a wall? So how can they "connect" by strictly anal intercourse?


I showed the diagrams to show how close and thin the wall is that separates it. There is another diagram showing the fistula, or connection made. Look it up, it’s called rectovaginal fistula. 

I don’t know how many women come in specifically, I am telling you that it happens and I’ve taken care of women who have had it happen to them.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> So you work in the medical field?
> 
> I was asking how many women come in because of complications from "anal intercourse" not necessarily "anal play."
> 
> The fistula complication dosen't really make sense. Aren't te the rectum and vagina separated by a wall? So how can they "connect" by strictly anal intercourse?


It's still tissue and it's not very thick. As such there is a risk of the tissue being damaged to a point where an opening develops between the two cavities.

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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> If heard that the rectum doesn't hold the faeces when you don't have to go.
> 
> So could the reality be that they are doing anal sex very wrong?


Of course the rectum holds the stool. You know nothing about the human body.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> Well the subject is not about homosexual anal, but about heterosexual anal sex.


She was using the comparison to show how there is more risk for a woman to receive anal. It doesn't matter if it's from a man's penis, or a strap-on or other insertables. And realistically, that risk also comes from rear entry vaginal intercourse as well. The wall is thin. There is no reason it can't be breeched from either side 

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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If you are in at least high school, your biology teacher should be able to explain this to you.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

The Mighty Fred said:


> You know, for me anal sex was an intriguing idea. But the more I learned about it, the more I figured I could very easily do without. Not really missing anything, imho, especially since it doesn't do a whole lot for women apparently, other than a bit of nice sensation and able to please her man. My wife's never been keen on the idea the times I brought it up. Easy to take a pass on, for me, too.


Thanks for the reply.

You know, to be honest with you, this is not really about the anal orifice because the vaginal orifice is better.

What this is really about is her booty. I am what they would call an "ass man," meaning that that I just love the look of a woman's ass. And it's just that I want to engage with her booty as much as I can. The concept of anal sex is going between her sexy booty, especially when she's in the bend over position. It's her beautiful body with the view of her sexy booty directly from behind that so intriguing.

But let me ask you something where does it looks like the vaginal hole sits at? It looks like it it at her booty as well and close by her anus. So would you say that the vaginal orifice is her butt hole as well especially when she bends over?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

A lot of people have anal sex and have no issues. 
When you have sex and experiment with each other there is always a risk of some embarrassing smells, sounds, bodily fluids and bodily function fails... it’s part of the experience, it’s why it can be very intimate and vulnerable.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Another piece of advice. Your talking to adults who have experienced a lot more than you. I appreciate you thinking about things and questioning them and wanting to learn. But we’re not trying to pull a fast one on you, we are not making things up. You respond like you don’t believe us.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I knew my wife had done it in the past and I couldn’t let it go. Did it one time with her and yeah you’re not missing much although I am glad I did it.


Your probably right.

To be honest it not really about her anal orifice because her vaginal orifice is better. It is really about about engaging with her sexy booty. The concept of anal sex is the idea of going between her sexy booty. That is the core if it all.

Maybe an alternative is hotdogging: which mean rubbing the penis between the crevice of her sexy booty, on her anus.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Next, you'll be asking about period blood and virginity.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> This thread is just becoming an argument.
> Some people like anal sex, some people don’t. There are risk factors when having anal sex, and most people don’t experience them. It’s not a big deal.
> 
> The OP who we all scared away got a lot of good information.
> ...


Sometimes that's what I think that's going on. Most people don't experience the the risks of anal sex. Probably because they be careful while doing it.

And if me and my women was to engage in it we would be careful as well.

But I do sometimes think that, what if we're careful and something bad still happens. There's no turning back, what happen happen.

That is a scary and embarrassing thought just because I just wanted to engage in sex with her. 

This is my dilemma.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> Next, you'll be asking about period blood and virginity.


Didn't we already do that one this quarter?

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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> Didn't we already do that one this quarter?
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


SSDD.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> Sometimes that's what I think that's going on. Most people don't experience the the risks of anal sex. Probably because they be careful while doing it.
> 
> And if me and my women was to engage in it we would be careful as well.
> 
> ...


Nothing seriously bad will happen the first time. Maybe a UTI but that should stop you from experiencing something for the first time. Maybe some embarrassing smell/sound/bodily function, and that’s not a big deal.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Another piece of advice. Your talking to adults who have experienced a lot more than you. I appreciate you thinking about things and questioning them and wanting to learn. But we’re not trying to pull a fast one on you, we are not making things up. You respond like you don’t believe us.


I understand and I appreciate it.

But we also know that everyone's sexual lives are different.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

od19g6 said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> You know, to be honest with you, this is not really about the anal orifice because the vaginal orifice is better.
> 
> ...


Omg omg omg.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> Omg omg omg.


🍿wow!


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Of course the rectum holds the stool. You know nothing about the human body.


Well this source actually says it doesn't:
refinery29.com/amp/en-us/anal-sex-poop-hygiene


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> It's still tissue and it's not very thick. As such there is a risk of the tissue being damaged to a point where an opening develops between the two cavities.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


Well, can that also happen in vaginal sex?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> Well, can that also happen in vaginal sex?


See the post that followed that one.

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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> She was using the comparison to show how there is more risk for a woman to receive anal. It doesn't matter if it's from a man's penis, or a strap-on or other insertables. And realistically, that risk also comes from rear entry vaginal intercourse as well. The wall is thin. There is no reason it can't be breeched from either side
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


So if it's like that, then any sexual intercourse is a risk for a woman it sounds like.

Why rear entry vaginal position in particular?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I know that. I was just warning you that some people can't imagine people coming up with these ideas without porn.
> 
> Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


And that's why I think that porn has so much power over people. People give porn too much credit for what it really is.

We're all sexual creatures. We don't have to look at porn for sex ideas, we can do that ourselves.


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

Again, for me the thing would be confirming dominance. And some chicks might be gratified by this. I'm amazed by how we are all taught to treat women as equals and even in the bedroom when many are sexually gratified by a strongly assertive male.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

The Mighty Fred said:


> Again, for me the thing would be confirming dominance. And some chicks might be gratified by this. I'm amazed by how we are all taught to treat women as equals and even in the bedroom when many are sexually gratified by a strongly assertive male.


You know what, I consider myself a sexually dominant male. So I hope the find a female that can compliment that with some sexual submissiveness.

If you're still talking about porn, that stuff is abusive. That's what gets on my nerves about porn, they think abusiveness is cool and people fall for it. You don't abuse a woman.

If I were to have anal sex with my woman, I wouldn't even go in all the way. I'll just go in about 3-4in, and in a massaging manner with her.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> So if it's like that, then any sexual intercourse is a risk for a woman it sounds like.
> 
> Why rear entry vaginal position in particular?


The vagina is meant to engorge and swell, it is meant to push out babies so it can take a **** easily. It doesn’t breakdown the tissue like in the anus.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> Well this source actually says it doesn't:
> refinery29.com/amp/en-us/anal-sex-poop-hygiene


Uk that men can fart and cause **** stains in their underwear Right?


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> The vagina is meant to engorge and swell, it is meant to push out babies so it can take a **** easily. It doesn’t breakdown the tissue like in the anus.


So you're saying that have anal intercourse breaks down the rectal tissue? Even with high quality lube.


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## od19g6 (Dec 14, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Uk that men can fart and cause **** stains in their underwear Right?


???

This source says it too:
liveabout.com/how-do-i-avoid-feces-during-anal-sex-2983262


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

od19g6 said:


> You know what, I consider myself a sexually dominant male. So I hope the find a female that can compliment that with some sexual submissiveness.
> 
> If you're still talking about porn, that stuff is abusive. That's what gets on my nerves about porn, they think abusiveness is cool and people fall for it. You don't abuse a woman.
> 
> If I were to have anal sex with my woman, I wouldn't even go in all the way. I'll just go in about 3-4in, and in a massaging manner with her.


Nah I'm not going in that direction. Growing up I was often physically abused so doing that as violence is horrific to me.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

od19g6 said:


> ???
> 
> This source says it too:
> liveabout.com/how-do-i-avoid-feces-during-anal-sex-2983262


Of course there are ways to avoid it. I’m just saying sometimes things happen. Plus, if you ever have spontaneous anal sex you may not have prepared.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The Mighty Fred said:


> *Again, for me the thing would be confirming dominance.* And some chicks might be gratified by this. I'm amazed by how we are all taught to treat women as equals and even in the bedroom when many are sexually gratified by a strongly assertive male.


Are you feeling you have been emasculated? Is your wife larger than you? How does having anal sex with a woman in a loving relationship confirm dominance?

Granted, throughout history the victors of war have routinely raped the men as a show of dominance; but, does it really apply in a loving relationship? Do you have some gripes with your wife that you think you can purge through the act of anal sex? Is it such a feat to overpower a smaller person that one derives a sense of dominance from the act?


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

The Mighty Fred said:


> Again, for me the thing would be confirming dominance. And some chicks might be gratified by this. I'm amazed by how we are all taught to treat women as equals and even in the bedroom when many are sexually gratified by a strongly assertive male.


"Some chicks might be gratified" - "many are sexually gratified" Inconsistent? 

The way I read your post treating women as equals seems to cause you a problem. My apologies if I'm misunderstanding you.

Lets get this clear - women have the equal right to control their own bodies and what happens to them. Just because they are, usually, smaller than men doesn't mean that they need a caveman (or any man) to have a fulfilling life. 

Whilst I suspect that you are right about "some chicks" I wonder how many women naturally appreciate being dominated as opposed to having been taught that that is the role they should adopt. Many people, of all sexual orientations suffer from low self-esteem. Couldn't be down to growing up with others who used them to cover up their own self-worth issues could it?

I had, I moved on after a few months, a MD who expressed a desire to have anal sex with his secretary. When asked why he declared that, as compared to PIV, it was much more humiliating (his exact word) for the woman. Not that it was sexually better, not that she would enjoy it - simply that it would make him feel superior to a person who was introverted, needed her job, was half his age and lived with a drug addict/small time dealer. 

It wasn't the only reason I moved on, but, to me, it said enough about his "character" to know that I would never be able to have the respect for him that I expected to have for my boss.

FWIW - Moved to the only serious UK competitor, whose MD was a dead straight, truthful and decent guy, and within three years we had 90% of our main market and had won the then two largest tenders for our equipment ever issued world-wide.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

od19g6 said:


> So if it's like that, then any sexual intercourse is a risk for a woman it sounds like.
> 
> Why rear entry vaginal position in particular?


The normal (statistically speaking) curve of the penis is such that it will put more pressure on the front of the the vaginal cavity when engaged in front to front PIV sex. Likewise, front to back positions (e.g. doggy style) will put less pressure on the wall between the cavities. The risk is ways there to varying degrees. More direct head on (no pun intended) hits increase the risk, and anything that slides along the wall is less risk. There is a variety of factors that can affect the amount of risk.

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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> The anus is designed to expel waste, the muscles go the wrong way for anything to be inserted, and yes they can get damaged and fecal incontinence can result later in life.


I call bull crap on that (no pun intended)

My wife used to tell the story of when she worked in the local nursing home as a nurses aid when she was in high school, there was this old lady that would occasionally lose control of her bowells.

The old lady warned her not to indulge in anal sex in her youth or she could loose control when she’s 92.

Ok well guess what? 92 year olds sometimes loose control whether they’ve ever had anal sex or not. 

Old men loose control when they’re old too, does that mean they were all gay and having anal sex 40 years prior?

Old people crap their pants now and then. That’s one of the things that happens when we get old 😞 

People try to blame something for it rather than admitting they are old and falling apart so they blame it on the anal sex they had on Spring Break in 1962.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

The Mighty Fred said:


> Nah I'm not going in that direction. Growing up I was often physically abused so doing that as violence is horrific to me.


Maybe that’s the reason why you feel the need to be the “dominant” one in the relationship. And when I say be the dominant one, I really mean FEEL like the dominant one, because there is a huge difference.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

And not to get off topic, but In regards to dominance... 
as a women, I know how to make my man feel dominant. I even enjoy playing this up in the bedroom. But as a strong feminist women, when things cross the line for me, I have no problem laying the law down, and standing my ground. I will always be in control of my body and my sexual experience. So yes, I make my man FEEL dominant, but I am always in control of the situation. 
So I can get on my knees and blow him, and receive anal sex, and swallow his cum... all these superficial ideas of what men perceive as dominance... but it’s such a joke to me. My man knows not to mess with me, that I am not some weak women who will tolerate bad treatment. 
In my head I am always dominant, even on my knees. Control is the ability to dictate what is going to happen. Women for years have been manipulating men by sex, and making them feel like “big men”. There is nothing more fragile than a male ego, and knowing that gives women power and the ability to control.

Man made fire but women learned how to play with it.


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## Totally T (Dec 20, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Maybe that’s the reason why you feel the need to be the “dominant” one in the relationship. And when I say be the dominant one, I really mean FEEL like the dominant one, because there is a huge difference.


I think I was referring not to myself, but to others. For me, myself, my situation causes me to be (a) very trepidatious about heavy emotional commitment of any kind; fear of being hurt; and (b) strong personal independence. I grew up thinking I would never marry and it took seven years of dating before I married at 35, to a woman about as equally independent. I think our independence is a major reason for our long marriage.

To me, the problem I see in men or women wanting dominance is that you always have to be concerned and focused on the power balance. Me, I just want to be left alone.


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