# At a loss



## notgivingup2013 (Nov 16, 2013)

Getting a divorce after 19 years. Something I don't want, but seems to be the direction it is going. He refuses to talk about it. He was quick at saying we are going to separate, and quick at getting on date sites. I have had 19 years of dealing with him going out and getting drunk for no reason, and not coming home, last year he actually called me from a hotel to pick him up and take him back to his truck...telling me he wasn't with anyone....how did he get to the hotel in the first place. Dealing with being pushed aside when all I wanted was some affection (hugs) once in a while. Having to compete with the Xbox, football, his motorcycle when he had it. Everything I wanted, I had to wait until he "felt" like it. Am I being crazy for wanting to save my marriage. He really hasn't ever been there for me for emotional support, or when I was sick. He figured since he likes to be left alone when he doesn't feel good, that is what I needed, when in fact just a little bit of concern would have been nice. I could never tell him my feelings, if they didn't line up with his thinking, I was told I was crazy. I am so confused, I do love him, always have believed marriage vows, for better or worse. when things got real worse, he bailed quickly. I don't know what to do.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It sounds like this may actually be a good thing for you in the long run. If he's truly committed to divorcing you, then embrace it and build a better life for yourself, perhaps even find someone much better for you.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

What do you love about him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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