# Met a manipulative entitlement minded girl, patience has run a course



## ggtam000 (Aug 9, 2012)

Ever since I met girl, my life has been constantly turning downside with almost everything about is spelling incompatibility and differences which i am no longer can handle. 
Okay I me a girl out of town we have been chatting for sometime. Turned out she was quite a bit of a pride in herself however she has been divorced and quit her job. I have been single for quite some time, so I just wanted to give it a try with her despite all her issues going on with her.

I met her few times, but problem immediately arose as she was a quite a boastful one bragging about her accomplishment and her parents purchasing a home for her and couple of times she made to me a really derogatory mark. I lost patience and we had arguments couple of times. 

Also besides that she has been talking about regretting an abortion she did to herself while she was with her previous husband and repeatedly mentioning about wanting to have a baby.

At the same time she boasted about her ability to raise herself the baby without my assistance if she had one with me and it does not matter whether I am with her or not despite my pleading about not talking this way. I havent had even chance to made my point firmly although I had assured her that we shd not have baby this soon after one time she again talked about baby. 

Thing has gotten bad and she got pregnant only we met few times and she has gotten completely insane on me. I did not agree with it, so I told my position is abortion however she has been calling me all names since then. Things like I am killing my own baby..yeah but If I called her killer since she had an abortion, you would understand how she would react. After having difficult times, I made a compromise based on her situation and decided that she pursue her pregnancy. I kept on emotional roller coaster during her pregnancy. Lot of time, I felt confused, tired, disoriented and several times, I had barely energy to go to work. One time, I was so distracted while I was driving and ran a red light. 

We talked about our financial situation but it has been really hard to be in sync in various aspect especially in money. Even thought she has been divorced and lost her job, she does not acknowledge she is going thru hard time but she really boasts it is nothing to be worry for her. Part of the reason is that she get lots of assistance from her parent, they bought her almost brand new apartment and brand new luxury car. However she told me she wanted another apartment. Her parents agreed so I thought they had a lot of money, but later it turned out, for the second apartment, her parents are borrowing. I immediately told her to stop buying the second one but she pushed through saying she really wants the second one. Later on, somehow she stopped pursuing the second condo, some how her family must have agreed her but it was not something I was not able to persuade her. We both lived in USA for more than ten years now and most people I know has some degree of financial responsility, us culture is about leaving parents as soon as they reach adult age and becomes toward living independently. But with her, I dont understand her mentality. She is 31 but she cares zero about her financial situation.

During her pregnancy, I also asked her about repaying her debts, however she does not wanted to talk to me about it, instead she kept buying luxury items. I asked her during normal times, it is okay divulge in luxuries which I do, however she keeps on doing no matter what her situation is.
My life has been really ****ty after all the incidence, I lost the patience about this girl and frequently thought we sholud not be together. 
She really seem to lost with the reality, she talks about all good things that just does not materialize. I dont know how to handle with her. I met her parents and they told me you will lead the family once the baby is born, but current situation is that she is not the one who discuss, compromise or respect. Based on her attitude I dont know how I will be able to lead the family with such a woman.
I did not want the baby either however now the baby is born. 
However I really want to separate from her. I would not mind participating in life of child but mother being such a person, I am afraid life is going to be really hard to deal with. I am also open to her having a baby or me raising the baby. However joint custody seems almost impossibility as our disagreement is too much. Before I got a chance to know her, she rushed about baby and we built up too much resetnment. In case she keeps the baby and goes after child support, I dont like the idea becuase it is after all her manipulating attitude she has been doing to me. If I had spend some of my life with woman that I respect and love each other and divorce that is different thing, I would agree on supporting. But this woman has gotten way way too far with me. If she goes for child support, law does not distinguish, i am responsible because I impregnated the poor woman and she is suffering and going through hardship in life. 
Currently we living both in state of California in separate apartment. Rent costs are sky high in the area and I contributed to her apartment and helped her to furnish her apartment by buying furnitures and TV-s. Only thing she has told me is another boastful remark that I can take back my stuff anytime. 
Is there an any option for me? I am talking to her parents tomorrow however I really dont have anything to say positive about her, and once I started talking about her problems an issues, I am not sure they will understand or whether they will get hurt. Things are quite emotionally at this time and lot of resentment has built up. In such a short time, someone I met has become really irresisitable force with insatiable demand with too much entitlement mentality and she just carried my baby. 
I started thinking previously unthinkable option such as giving up fathers rights or going for custody battle. 
I researched all my options however all the laws seem to be on her favor. Mother mostly keeps the child and father pays for child support. I visited once her shortly after she had a labor, did not talk much. I looked at quite baby and feeling really bad for her. 
Thanks


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

I'm going to tell you what Tacoma told me when I got here for kinda the same situation..

*Get snipped and never let a woman run your reproductive rights again. *

You have no rights, the courts don't care about you..they only care about the kid..

You're in for a very, very rough time.. I'm not going to sugar coat it..In my case, it looks like my ex cheated, so I may not have to pay child support...However in your case, it looks like she used you to get pregnant and now you are going to have to fit the bill..

TACOMA...that stayed with me more than anything else I've learned on this site..


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

Ok let me get this straight. You didn't like this woman but you had sex with her.

You didn't want a baby, but now you want custody. So you don't have to pay child support? That's not a good enough reason.


Come on. Regardless of what she did wrong, your actions weren't pristine either. Own up to your responsibilities now and learn from your mistakes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

TeaLeaves4 said:


> That's not a good enough reason.


What about the fact that this woman doesn't sound fit to take care of a child? Thats a good enough reason to get full custody even if you wanted to be child-free to begin with...


Advice to OP..Get a DNA test first...just incase..


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## ggtam000 (Aug 9, 2012)

geek down said:


> What about the fact that this woman doesn't sound fit to take care of a child? Thats a good enough reason to get full custody even if you wanted to be child-free to begin with...
> 
> 
> Advice to OP..Get a DNA test first...just incase..


Not sure, in my opinion, she seem to have mental issues, may be suffering from the agony of post abortion. only thing i can explain. however much she wants a child, i dont believe it justifies just meeting with someone just for the sake of getting a child. based on what she used to say, that was her intention based on my intuition. my words and opinions really dont seem to matter.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Demand a DNA test THROUGH THE COURTS (so she can't screw with the results) BEFORE you pay dime one for this kid!

You don't even know if this baby is yours! This woman is selfish and unstable. You've been weak and indecisive.

DNA test FIRST....then (if the baby is yours) see a lawyer. If the baby is NOT yours, change your phone number/email and get this woman out of your life.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

ggtam000 said:


> however much she wants a child, i dont believe it justifies just meeting with someone just for the sake of getting a child. based on what she used to say, that was her intention based on my intuition. my words and opinions really dont seem to matter.


I thought the same thing, till my ex got pregnant and all the intel points to it not being mine and her wanting to pass it off as mine to get me to stay with her and take care of her child...


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## ggtam000 (Aug 9, 2012)

thanks for advice through this difficult time. It has been hard journey after meeting this idiot who gives nothing about others and putting me and herself in hellish situation.


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