# Sharing your wife....help!



## chris.f1294 (Jan 3, 2012)

I tried searching through all the posts, but only found bits to what I'm looking for.

Recently, my wife and I were approached by a very well off athlete for a threesome. First, I was shocked to have a superstar walk up to us to chat. So, I was in aw for the first several minutes of conversation. Then, he asked me if we were open to which I replied "No."

As the conversation progresses, and the drinks fuddle us more, he says, "well if you guys ever decide to open up a bit, I'd love to be a part of pampering your wife!" Then walks off.

My wife was WTF is he talking about, so I told her. She was just as shocked as I was. Our night carries on as normal. When we get home we are all over each other (drunk too). Fast forward to where I'm about to enter her, and I stupidly and drunkenly ask, "so does imagining having someone else move inside you do anything?" And then I enter hard and fast. Well, the reply as expected was "OMG yes!".

That night we had some of the best sex in a long time. Now, I can't get the idea of a MFM threesome out of my mind. I don't think ill of it or her in any way. We talked about it a few times. Her reply is that the idea of being 'pampered' by two guys is a huge turn on. That she'd love to try it, but morally she doesn't believe we should.

I only see her getting blissfully fulfilled. I never see another guy when thinking of this. And crazily, I would seriously consider going through with it if she wants to one day. I feel in my heart, if we tried it, and I didn't like it, I would never hold it against her. Just chalk it up as one of those things we've tried but wont do again. 

SO, finally, my questions to those who HAVE done this before (please don't respond if you haven't) :

1. is it worth it?
2. does the woman actually feel pampered or more like extra work has to be done
3. if it is worth it, how the heck do you initiate something like this?
4. Any advice or suggestions other than answers to my questions will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I get the fantasy but keep it just that. Although it works for some ppl it can go horribly wrong feelings can develop for the other man. Jealousy can rear its head. 

Keep it fantasy and use it verbally during sex but anything else is a really big crap shoot.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

I once had a girlfriend back in the day and we tried it, led to other things but ultimately led to us going our separate ways. Not worth it.


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

we tried soft swap, it was greate and kida weird the same time but had fun


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## chris.f1294 (Jan 3, 2012)

ArabianKnight said:


> we tried soft swap, it was greate and kida weird the same time but had fun



Thank you for responding. If there's more info to share please pm me if u want it private
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Inviting a strapping, young, alpha male to satisfy your wife in ways you can't is a spectacularly bad idea.


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## X-unknown (Oct 14, 2011)

3 somes sound kinky and maybe you think you both can handle that? Maybe there is someone who can. I think its a perfect way to screw up a marriage. 

In fact I think its more likely to aid you in needing a divorce lawyer at some point and or therapy.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

PHTlump said:


> Inviting a strapping, young, alpha male to satisfy your wife in ways you can't is a spectacularly bad idea.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

crazy idea. maybe try some toys and role playing


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

PHTlump said:


> Inviting a strapping, young, alpha male to satisfy your wife in ways you can't is a spectacularly bad idea.


Yep. If you are the lesser Sexual market place value man you may be watching as your wife finds her next husband.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

PHTlump said:


> Inviting a strapping, young, alpha male to satisfy your wife in ways you can't is a spectacularly bad idea.


Winner.


My sentiments exactly. OP...you will lose her if you do this. You just will.


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## akira1 (Dec 13, 2011)

Sharing your wife? More like targeting your wife and possibly sucking her in among his possibly huge harem of seduced housewives.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yea, handing your wife over for some jock to use the way he has used a lot of other women is not such a good idea. 


Don't be surprised if afterwards you are devistated at seeing her enjoying another man.


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## Jasminaa (Nov 2, 2011)

I speak from personal experience about hearing numerous friends stories, threesomes are always over hyped. Truth is it's an awkward act with the only lasting result of jealousy.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ That's what the missus tells me, she's been in lots of 3somes in the past before she met me with both men and women, and prefers intimacy between two people instead. Yet she STILL reckons she's 100% straight >.>


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

chris.f1294 said:


> 1. is it worth it?
> 2. does the woman actually feel pampered or more like extra work has to be done
> 3. if it is worth it, how the heck do you initiate something like this?
> 4. Any advice or suggestions other than answers to my questions will be greatly appreciated!
> ...


I've never done it - but it sounds like a great way to screw up a good marriage. Some fantasies should stay just that. Letting a rich, strapping, famous alpha-male athlete sleep with your wife - NO F**ING WAY! 
My guess is, in your situation, 8 out of 10 couples' relationships would be adversely affected by this. The jealousy and insecurity issues that could arise from this are boundless. No way, no how. Push it out of your mind.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

While at it, how about finding a rich guy to take her on vacation for a month to Tahiti and Paris?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

chris.f1294 said:


> SO, finally, my questions to those who HAVE done this before *(please don't respond if you haven't)*


Seems only one forum member respected his request.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Baaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

Unless you are ok with your wife leaving you, losing respect for you and comparing you to some hot guy. lol!

Disaster!!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> Seems only one forum member respected his request.


How do you know that? Maybe these replies are generated by bad experiences. 

This falls under 'it seemed like a good idea at the time...'. No good can come of it. 

OP - this is a ridiculous idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KenCasanova (Jan 3, 2012)

Let me tell you know that, threesomes such as the one you described have the potential to go horribly, horribly wrong.

One of my colleagues from work a couple years ago had a threesome with his gf and a random guy they both met a the club. The had the threesome and she ended up enjoying the sex with the random guy than with the boyfriend. 

Unsurprisingly she ended up cheating for 6 months with the random guy until the boyfriend found out.

It's very risky if you're in a serious relationship or have feeling for the 3rd wheel!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> How do you know that? Maybe these replies are generated by bad experiences.


Then it should be stated so. Nobody can read another person's mind.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> Then it should be stated so. Nobody can read another person's mind.


?
Like assuming the replies were generated by people who hadn't done the threesome thing?

More often than not, one participant engages in such sexual acts after being pressured into it or going along with it believing that they will be pleasing their partner. Then it all ends in tears when they have to deal with the aftermath. 

Boo hoo. If you're on here asking a bunch of strangers if it's a good idea, it's probably not a good idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

effess said:


> I've never done it - but it sounds like a great way to screw up a good marriage. Some fantasies should stay just that. Letting a rich, strapping, famous alpha-male athlete sleep with your wife - NO F**ING WAY!
> My guess is, in your situation, 8 out of 10 couples' relationships would be adversely affected by this. The jealousy and insecurity issues that could arise from this are boundless. No way, no how. Push it out of your mind.


:iagree::iagree:

There some things which are only great in theory, never in practice.

I used to be very curious about threesomes. My husband told me that I am more than enough for him and he did not get married to share his wife.:smthumbup:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> :iagree::iagree:
> 
> There some things which are only great in theory, never in practice.
> 
> I used to be very curious about threesomes. My husband told me that I am more than enough for him and he did not get married to share his wife.:smthumbup:


That's right!

I was in a LTR a few years back and that's all the guy could talk about. Too bad I wasted almost a year with someone who had zero respect for me - and the funny part is how he'd get this uncomfortable squirmy look on his face when I'd say 'Sure let's do it...with another guy!'.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

From FML



> Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy that works with me and for which I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until in the heat of the moment my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML


:rofl:


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Now THAT is funny...!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

ask this guy how the threesome worked out for him--he just posted yesterday: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-through-divorce-separation/37803-too-comfortable-swinging-destroyed-my-marraige.html


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> Seems only one forum member respected his request.


true, but if everyone respected his request, he'd probably only get one or two. People who have had the experience bad or good just aren't going to admit to doing it because morally it's not acceptable.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

When young I tried to do it - and backed out at the last minute. It's just not for me. I'm still embarassed when I see the other girl and it disgusts me to think that that slimeball guy might still be talking about it. 

Not one of my best moments, that's for sure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

morituri said:


> chris.f1294 said:
> 
> 
> > SO, finally, my questions to those who HAVE done this before (please don't respond if you haven't)
> ...


If anybody asks me if whacking his nuts with a ball peen hammer is a good idea, my answer will not be "How should I know? I haven't done it."


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

PHTlump said:


> If anybody asks me if whacking his nuts with a ball peen hammer is a good idea, my answer will not be "How should I know? I haven't done it."


But that is not the question he is posing here, is it? So why should it be answered as it if it was?

Making irrelevant comments is not necessarily going to sway him one way or the other, otherwise he would have continued posting here asking for more opinions.

(FWIW I do agree with the consensus: bad idea)


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> While at it, how about finding a rich guy to take her on vacation for a month to Tahiti and Paris?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'll take that trip to Tahiti, it's freaking cold up her the great white north....damn


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## teahead (Nov 28, 2011)

It can be done, but you have to ask yourself...what would YOU be getting out of it seeing some stud plow your wife?

Are you sorta cuckold-ish?

If you're going to do this, I suggest doing it w/another couple first. Then, once you get comfortable seeing another guy dork your wife, maybe you'd then be okay w/just you and another guy with your wife.


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi

Sharing

I dont understand why people think that do sex with more than one person is ok. Especially with children are involved. Abuse survivors will tell you that is unhealthy and not helpful to the children-because of the pain they suffered with regards to their parents doing it in addition to teh abuse. Because they also come from backgrounds where their father and or mother played around while married and it caused pain. with more than one person; So why even do it when no abuse involved. IT does affect the kids whether or not you see it as good or bad. 

Trust me it affects kids in a negative way. Please think twice before you do it. 

Judith


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## BadHubby (Jan 12, 2012)

read my experiences with sharing my wife here: 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...here-do-i-begin-she-hates-me-so-will-you.html


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## KDFREE (Apr 7, 2011)

chris.f1294 said:


> I tried searching through all the posts, but only found bits to what I'm looking for.
> 
> Recently, my wife and I were approached by a very well off athlete for a threesome. First, I was shocked to have a superstar walk up to us to chat. So, I was in aw for the first several minutes of conversation. Then, he asked me if we were open to which I replied "No."
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KDFREE (Apr 7, 2011)

We have done it successfully on and off for more than 7 years. We were married 10+ years before we statrted. My hubby is very secure and confident in his own right. He is not at all inclined to jealousy and he is not at all bi-sexual as I know some will assume. It it improved our intimacy and has been positive. Yes I have had men bigger, better built, and some pretty intense sex. But at the end of the day nothing beats being with him because we are in love with each other. With that said, it is not for everyone for sure. 




1. is it worth it? Yes for us it has been awesome
2. does the woman actually feel pampered or more like extra work has to be done. Pampered!!!!
3. if it is worth it, how the heck do you initiate something like this? Go back to the guy who propositioned you if she is attracted and you are comfortable. Be sure to communicate your desires and limits which should be agreed on ahead of time with your wife. 
4. Any advice or suggestions other than answers to my questions will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you![/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rd1011 (Jan 17, 2012)

My wife and I did it with a friend of mine. At the time of the actual 3some it seemed everything was good. We had 5 separate episodes with my friend. I have to say that the look on my wife's face was pure extasy and I loved it. But, then my wife started wanting to meet with my friend without me. That's when jealousy started rearing its ugly head (on my part). We had not set down rules beforehand which is a MUST if you choose to hookup with a 3rd person. After alot a fighting we decided not to do it anymore. There were times when in the heat of an argument my wife would say she was gonna hookup with my friend again weather I liked it or not. To this day I don't know if she did or not. It took nearly a year to work throgh all the crap. Our marriage lasted 20+ years but finally ended in divorce. I can't say that the 3some was the reason for the divorce but I'm sure that it contributed to the demise. Sometimes fantasies are best left fantasies.


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## Drewgar (Jan 11, 2012)

Never would i ever allow this, i even know sometimes feel insecure about aspects of my life with my wife and this would just be to much and i know i wouldnt be able to handle it.
If you did go down this route you should be prepared for the possabilite that you could not deal with it and it may be the beginning of the end.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I have been around the swinging lifestyle for years now and know many couples that have been married for a long time with no issues,so its not a recipe for disaster.The people I know into it are just your average folks who you would have no clue are into it and could be sitting next to you at any kind of meeting.

Its got to be something you are both into something you discuss with your clothes on not at a hot time.If you are in North America or Europe go to a club,they are all over the place mostly on Saturday nights [YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EXCHANGE PARTNERS,ONCE AGAIN YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EXCHANGE PARTNERS ]go be around what is going on and see how you feel about it then go home and talk about it.In the States most clubs have orientations and tell you it may not be for you. If you are OK with it after that then go have fun.


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## Thegandees (Jan 4, 2012)

WE have done it before. And its something that had to be done slowly, and with rules. If you and your girl can seperate sex with feelings, it can be a great experience and have lots of fun. But if you can't, than there will be jelaousy issues. As the women in the situration, when its fmf, you do get those jealousy issues raised. 

You and your wife, if yo do this, need to set rules and guiedelines. And follow them by a t. If you can successfully do it, then it is so amazing.


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## Joet132 (Mar 23, 2012)

Chris...

There has been much research done on this topic...and there is no one correct answer...but I can tell you that my wife of 20 years and I have done some mild hotwife play...and we both have loved it...She will tease flirt kiss and once in a while a little more with a str8 respectful man that also understands the hotwife dynamic. It ONLY can be considered if you already have an above average long term loving relationship.

You need to research ourhotwives.org as you will find great advice from experienced couples and/or couples like you that have discovered the erotic thrill from this concept.

I had to laugh at the number of respondents on here that are probably not in true loving relationships, or aren't even married, or are so insecure that want to comdemn you! Consider your wife and yourself as the lucky few that have the intelligence, creativity and loving relationship to see past the mundane, negative mentality of the average unsuccessful couple. Not to mention those whoe cannot read and follow simple intructions. Good Luck!


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I have known quite a few couples who have had open relationships, polyamory, and were into threesomes or swinging. Over the years I saw friends who made it work. I think you have to be extremely aware of your own feelings and have a lot of insight into people and what you want. It takes a level of maturity that not a lot of people have. I'm. It saying that monogamous people aren't mature. 
When I was growing up my best friend in 7th grade saw her dad kissing a female friend in their kitchen. It was awful. She ended up
going to the counselor at school who I think knew it was probably a swinger situation. He told her to talk to her mom about it. She said they she knew and she was ok with it. 
I also remember the mom spending a lot of time with a male friend of hers. There is other stuff I could go on about but it was clear they were swingers. They've been married over 40 years now and seem to be happy. 
It's not something you should jump into. I think you need to learn from people in the lifestyle about the pros and cons and challenges. 
Personally I don't think I would like a threesome of any kind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

Just curious what turns you on about another guy satisfying your wife????
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Joet132 (Mar 23, 2012)

Many things turn me on about another guy satisfying my wife...First of all when I was younger I was the jealous type...but as I became more mature, I discovered that jealousy stems from insecurity and/or deceipt by one partner. But if a sexual situation arises where my wife is TOTALLY honest and the scenario is NOT a threat to our marriage and there is no deceipt...just my wife being honest telling me that she is attracted sexually to another man...those usual negative jealous feelings become feelings of lust and extreme arousal that can only be understood by a long time married loving couple. Then the sex afterwards when I am "reclaiming" my is amazing! There is a book called "Sperm Competition" which discusses the biology behind this turnon. when a male suspects that his partner has been unfaithful, the male has an intense urge to ejaculate inside his female partner...studies show that under those conditions the male will ejaculate 10 times more sperm...its a response to ensuring that his genes are carried on and not another male....


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

We have done it and my wife enjoyed it at the time but the feelings of guilt ate her up. Many women need to feel an emotional connection before they can truly enjoy the sex. My wife is like this. If she didn't have an emotional connection to begin with over time one would develop. I can share my wife's body, but not her heart. So, we don't do this any more. We really enjoy the fantasy but we leave it at that.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

chris.f1294 did you do it? Did you regret it? Did you have a good time? How did things turn out?


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## ArabianKnight (Jul 24, 2011)

chris.f1294 chris did u do it?


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## PrincessMarie (Feb 22, 2012)

Never even think twice about doing it again. You'll only destory your marriage.


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## watchedwife (May 5, 2012)

Have done mfm's with my wife and it has made our sex life even better. My wife loves being the center of sexual attention with two guys at the same time. She loves when we DP her and claims the orgasms are the most intense.


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## Resikkt (Jul 22, 2012)

This guy is a pro athlete? Has a ton of cash? Good looking, great physical shape?
If you do this, she will connect with him and you'll be watching him on tv while regretting losing your wife to him.

Doesn't sound like it's worth risking it all to me...
Good luck


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I could never even thnk of doing that. I'm a very jealous person by nature and would destroy both of them before being involved in something of that nature. But touché to the folks who can do it and enjoy it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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