# I know it's going to bite me back but



## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

It made me feel better. I posted on that cheater website about the OM. Was just a short but it made me feel so much better. PM me if you want to know what to google to find it. Get the hits up higher so anyone who googles his name will know.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

You gotta do what is right for you in your situation. You own the story. It is yours to tell if you want to.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

If I get the post changed just a little bit I will post what to google here. I may have started a little bit of a legal issue with the post.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

They was nice enough to change the post for me so..... Google
R0dn3y B0y3tt3

Spelled that way so google will not take people here instead of there.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I saw it!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Can it really be that easy to bed a married woman? You mean all I have to do is flirt a little, throw out the plenty of compliments about how desirable and sexy she is? Say things like: 

_"Your husband did what? That jerk!" 

"Your husband said what to you? What an @sshole!" 

"If you were mine baby, I would never treat you like that" 

"I would treat you like a princess!"_

Could it be as simple as that? Anyone?


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## this is bad (Aug 13, 2011)

Lord -

That's what I was thinking. How simple is this? In my case EA but it was heading for PA very fast, they are related.

No romance, no wine and dine, no flowers, no display affection.

Just words and bangie dangie. How in the world does that happen.

Please tell me some of you have seen the microsoft commercial - Really. 

I just sit and think sometimes, what was in her head.. Really


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Can it really be that easy to bed a married woman? You mean all I have to do is flirt a little, throw out the plenty of compliments about how desirable and sexy she is? Say things like:
> 
> _"Your husband did what? That jerk!"
> 
> ...


Add to the fact that he is 10 years younger, Works out every day, and she was depressed with low self esteem no matter what I told her, and yes thats all it takes. Add to it that me or my wife had never had sex with anyone but each other. We was each others one and only. I really thought that was a very special thing we had in our relationship. Ohh ya he didn't question anything she said... made him easy to talk to... I question because I care and wanted to know what was making her feel the way she did.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Hope you got tested for STDs. Ask for the full panel.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

this is bad said:


> Lord -
> 
> That's what I was thinking. How simple is this? In my case EA but it was heading for PA very fast, they are related.
> 
> ...


How many times have you seen on the form someone having multi PA's? He said the right things at the wrong time. She might have been feeling she was missing out on something by only having sex with one person. Would it be better or worse? She was flattered that someone like him wanted someone like her... low self esteem. I know it sounds like I'm defending.... but I'm just pointing out how it happened. She convenced herself we was done so that she could have sex with a young sexy man who she had a crush on for years.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

aug said:


> Hope you got tested for STDs. Ask for the full panel.


We both have. All came back clean. Longest 10 days of my life. But that was still when she was telling me she asked him to wear a condom. Found out later when she started telling the truth that she didn't even think about it.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

okay. forget this post.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> if you're going to post his picture there...your wife deserves to be there as well. she went running to have sex with this guy without a condom bc of a fight with you. she deserves to be there just as much as he does if you're going to go around posting things like that for all the world to see.


except the guy is not his wife...


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> well what's to stop this scumbag OM from retaliating once he finds out about this page and posting her picture and her information on there?
> 
> I get being upset over it, i REALLY do, but doing something like this opens wife up to all kinds of character questions too bc she's in the wrong as well.
> 
> i just don't think it's a good idea to post things like that.


That's the reason that's keeping me from posting OMs info up there too. If I posted his stuff, then I would have to post my fWWs as well. It takes two to tango. OM can post all the flowery bullsh!t he wanted to, but if my fWW wasn't receptive to it, it wouldn't have went anywhere. The WS shares equal, if not more blame. My fWW took a vow to be faithful to me, while the scumbag OM didn't promise me anything.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> if you're going to post his picture there...your wife deserves to be there as well. she went running to have sex with this guy without a condom bc of a fight with you. she deserves to be there just as much as he does if you're going to go around posting things like that for all the world to see.


Your right. She does deserve to be there as well, and I may post hers and the pictures she sent him before this is all said and done. But as was pointed out he is not the woman I love and have loved for 19 years. It is easy to point out what type of person he is to the world. Where pointing out what my wife did is not so easy. Causeing him to face the fact of his part in what he did is easier than throwing what my wife did back into her face.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I think it would depend if you were in R or D.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I think it would depend if you were in R or D.


Ether way it gos (not real sure at the moment) I would still not want to cause her more pain because I still very much love this woman. I may not be able to live with what she did, what she gave up, what she was willing to throw away, but I am still very much in love with her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> That's the reason that's keeping me from posting OMs info up there too. If I posted his stuff, then I would have to post my fWWs as well. It takes two to tango. OM can post all the flowery bullsh!t he wanted to, but if my fWW wasn't receptive to it, it wouldn't have went anywhere. The WS shares equal, if not more blame. My fWW took a vow to be faithful to me, while the scumbag OM didn't promise me anything.


Totally agree with this. While I'm sure the purely innocent cheating spouse exists, unless rape charges are pressed, the cheating spouse is just as responsible for the cheating as the "other person". And the marriage vows weren't made with the other person, so they're not the one that cheated on you.

On the other hand, it's much easier to place the blame in someone outside the marriage, and from a cheating spouse's perspective, the more blame you can deflect from yourself, the better. Human nature to do that. I can only guess that it makes reconciliation easier if you don't place all the blame on your cheating spouse as well.

This is coming from someone who cheated on my wife. I give my affair partners absolutely no blame for their part in my affair. And judging from the sources of my affair partners, there's a significant number of married women actively seeking an affair partner; I would suspect there's an even larger portion that are open to the idea even if they're not searching actively.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

PB, I don't agree that the affair partner doesn't share in the blame for an affair. You can't have an adulterous affair without a third party. So yes, they share a "part" in the blame. It's a choice they make, too. 



PBear said:


> On the other hand, it's much easier to place the blame in someone outside the marriage


That's because it's easier to hate someone you don't know.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

lordmayhem said:


> That's the reason that's keeping me from posting OMs info up there too. If I posted his stuff, then I would have to post my fWWs as well. It takes two to tango. OM can post all the flowery bullsh!t he wanted to, but if my fWW wasn't receptive to it, it wouldn't have went anywhere. The WS shares equal, if not more blame. My fWW took a vow to be faithful to me, while the scumbag OM didn't promise me anything.


In my case, the thought process behind considering posting the OM's info on a site like that while not posting my wife's is that she (granted, after a false start) has shown genuine remorse and that she is committed not only to our marriage, but learning what it is within her that has set a lifelong behavior of seeking attention outside her primary relationship. She's begun working (and working hard) to change those behaviors.

OM, on the other hand, has displayed nothing of the sort. No remorse. No regret. No change in behavior. Just the same arrogant sense of entitlement. The same sleazy attempts to get into the pants of most every woman whose path he crosses. As he fancies himself a photographer as a side-job, he often uses that in his predation in some way. In fact, for the past couple of months, he's been begging for money online to fund a photography "art project"...which, of course, requires nude female models. Given all of that, it makes me want to get word out there...maybe help ward him away from potential victims.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovestruckout (Jul 6, 2011)

can someone PM the name of this cheater website?


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

lovestruckout said:


> can someone PM the name of this cheater website?


Google R0dn3y B0y3tt3

Look down the first page till you see something that slaps you in the face like a cold dead fish.


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## Wanabeelee (Sep 6, 2011)

Grayson said:


> In my case, the thought process behind considering posting the OM's info on a site like that while not posting my wife's is that she (granted, after a false start) has shown genuine remorse and that she is committed not only to our marriage, but learning what it is within her that has set a lifelong behavior of seeking attention outside her primary relationship. She's begun working (and working hard) to change those behaviors._Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm starting to believe that my wife is genuine remorsefully as well. I know she gets mad at questions but I think she was being forced to look at what lead up to the PA and really hated herself for having it. She's told me more than once that its not me she's mad at but herself. She is doing better at talking (well typing it to me) We are doing two questions a day via email. There are some things I still thinks she is trying to convince herself on that makes her feel a little better about what she did... just enough that she is not going to go crazy, but not enough for her to not hate herself what what she did. I dont know if she will ever forgive herself for what she did and I dont know how she can look into the real meanings of the PA till she can bare thinking about it enough to understand it. I know she is trying but I'm not sure she will be able to change. 

I could not ask her to leave, and I would never kick her out with no place to go. (in this state) So, we've been still in the same house while I was moving on toward a divorce. Since my last post in the other topic she has had no out burst and has been more than willing to talk about anything I ask. I've been more understanding that some times she needs a break to calm down and think things though and have not been pushing so hard. I dont know if we will save this or not. There is always hope, and I dont want her to hurt more than she already is cause I do still love her.

Thats the reason I have not posted her info.




Grayson said:


> OM, on the other hand, has displayed nothing of the sort. No remorse. No regret. No change in behavior. Just the same arrogant sense of entitlement.
> Given all of that, it makes me want to get word out there...maybe help ward him away from potential victims.


The reason I posted his info... other than it did make me feel better to call him out on his part of the affair. 

After all I've called my wife out daily on her part, and making her explore the reasons for her feelings that lead to the PA. And having her tell me what she thinks of the reasons now. She is hurting from this as she is seeing there was no good reason and every question she has to think about is causing her pain. 

He was getting off scott free... thought he deserved a little fall out for his part in it.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Can it really be that easy to bed a married woman? You mean all I have to do is flirt a little, throw out the plenty of compliments about how desirable and sexy she is? Say things like:
> 
> _"Your husband did what? That jerk!"
> 
> ...



Pretty much. Add in playing online games for hours because you are a sorry POS with no responsibilities and nothing else to do, Yep!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Personally I`d liker to see someone sue that site for slander and get it shut down.

It`s unhealthy, ripe for abuse/misuse, and exists for no other reason than self absorbed vengeance.

You can post anything about anyone there without verification.
It`s messed up.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

They probably have disclaimers to the effect that the individual posters are responsible for their own content, giving the site some protection.

That said, an absolute defense against slander/libel is the truth. IF I were to post the OM's information and IF he tried to take legal action against me...well...he'd have to prove he didn't have an affair with my wife...he'd have to lie under oath and say he didn't have sex with her, knowing she's married. I've got the proof - including eye witness testimony from my wife - that he did. As long as anything I post is truth or clearly framed as my opinion, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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