# Need to protect my son



## Sher Bear (Mar 22, 2021)

I think it might be time that my 16 yrs of marriage end. My husband seems to only care about himself and makes me and my son feel like tiny specs of dirt at times. My husband does nothing to help me around the house because he says our children should be doing those things. Which is fine but sometimes I just need him to do his part and help me out. When I tell him this he says he disagrees and that I just need to be harder on the kids. He took my small balance credit cards away from me because he thinks I don’t know how to spend or not spend money, yet he still has his higher balance credit cards that are both maxed out. Yesterday he and my son got in a huge verbal fight which left my son in tears and me telling my husband to get his **** and get out. Of course, in my husband’s eyes, he did nothing wrong because he is always right and we are always wrong. My son is slowly deteriorating mentally because of his dad’s harsh words at times and I feel like the straw just broke. I need to protect my son, as well as myself


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

His has no right to take away YOUR credit cards. I think your husband's controlling ways are very destructive. The Q is can they be changed through MC or is divorce your only option?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

So what is your son doing for you around the house? 

I agree the credit card thing is a problem. But why are those cards not in your name only and under only your control? Do you have bad credit and he had to sign for them?


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## Sher Bear (Mar 22, 2021)

D0nnivain said:


> His has no right to take away YOUR credit cards. I think your husband's controlling ways are very destructive. The Q is can they be changed through MC or is divorce your only option?


We have done MC in the past but he only does the work for a token week or two and then starts to slowly start again with condescending remarks and just being kind of a bully, for lack of a better word. I’m 43 and he’s 50 so if we want to try to be happy before we die divorce might have to be the way we go


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## Sher Bear (Mar 22, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> So what is your son doing for you around the house?
> 
> I agree the credit card thing is a problem. But why are those cards not in your name only and under only your control? Do you have bad credit and he had to sign for them?


No. I got them on my own accord and kept them a secret for a bit but when he found out abt them he yelled at me til I handed them over
My son does what I ask him to just maybe not the second I tell him. He’s 14. But he does what I ask and is a very good, kindhearted kid. He’s a little too sensitive for my husband’s liking tho


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## Sher Bear (Mar 22, 2021)

How do couples still live together while “planning” their divorce?


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

He shouldn't be taking your cards away, but you shouldn't have kept them a secret either. Living under one roof whilst going through a divorce is a bit tricky...I didn't and wouldn't recommend it.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Sher Bear said:


> No. I got them on my own accord and kept them a secret for a bit


Why?


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## Misselissa (Mar 24, 2021)

Sher Bear said:


> I think it might be time that my 16 yrs of marriage end. My husband seems to only care about himself and makes me and my son feel like tiny specs of dirt at times. My husband does nothing to help me around the house because he says our children should be doing those things. Which is fine but sometimes I just need him to do his part and help me out. When I tell him this he says he disagrees and that I just need to be harder on the kids. He took my small balance credit cards away from me because he thinks I don’t know how to spend or not spend money, yet he still has his higher balance credit cards that are both maxed out. Yesterday he and my son got in a huge verbal fight which left my son in tears and me telling my husband to get his **** and get out. Of course, in my husband’s eyes, he did nothing wrong because he is always right and we are always wrong. My son is slowly deteriorating mentally because of his dad’s harsh words at times and I feel like the straw just broke. I need to protect my son, as well as myself


This sounds to me like financial abuse, among other major issues. I’m so sorry. I had only recently heard of this term but I think you’ll find it apt. Please put you and your son first. There is help and support out there. Be well.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sher Ber, go and see a family counsellor for you and your son. Your H is abusive in many ways. The visit a lawyer and see what your options are. it might be better you leave your H now when your son is still a minor.


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## Sher Bear (Mar 22, 2021)

GC1234 said:


> Why?


Because he also took my debit card that is linked to our joint account


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