# An Emotional Hell...



## PaperStreet (Jul 30, 2010)

I met my husband at the young age of 17 and married him 2 days after my 21st birthday. During our 17 years together and 14 years of marriage, we have had many ups and downs. There has been infidelity on both our parts and separation. Two years ago we recommitted ourselves to each other and decided to put the past behind us.

The past 2 years have not been easy. My husband has not worked and became a heavy drinker, pot smoker, and pill taker. I was the working constantly and when I would come home he would be inebriated. I dedicated myself to helping him get healthy, while continuing to work crazy hours. 

His health began to get worse until finally he was forced to go to the hospital. During his stay I was an emotional wreck. I thought that there were serious health issues that could possibly claim his life. Needless to say, i spent every waking minute at the hospital and when I was home I cried constantly and got little sleep. So after 3 days in the hospital there ended up being nothing wrong with him, guess you can't drink only beer for 4 days and not eat anything without getting sick.

I was so excited to have him home and relieved that he was ok. The emotional torment was over, or so I thought. As soon as we got home he told me that he was going rollerblading. Really? You just got out of the hospital? He insisted he would be gone for a little and be right back. After 2 hours, I started trying to call and text him, but no answer. I called his mom and his brother, but still couldn't find out where he was. He called me back at 10:30 at night telling me he was down at the shore, while some girl was laughing in the background. I was devastated, not to mention that he didn't bother to come home.

The next day when I drank myself into an emotionally rage filled drunken stupor he had the perfect excuse to ask me to go to my moms for a day or two, so that we could "cool off." After getting to my moms, he wouldn't return any of my calls or texts and the real emotional pain began. This pain was unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. It was when I tried to call him and his girlfriend answered the phone that the knife sliced my heart in two.

That night I took 300 pills and attempted to hang myself in the basement. If Ann didn't hear the chair kick out from underneath me, I wouldn't be here today. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and upon my release found out that he has already moved his girlfriend, and her son, into our home.

This has been a nightmare that I can't wake up from.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

You seemed to have wrapped your life around your husbands-fiercely. There are many words for this but it doesn't matter....find yourself help and continue on that path of wellness. 

Know that you cannot fix your husband or marriage by yourself. He needs to do work as well. It's not a one-sided marriage. THAT would never work.

You do have control over your behavior and life. I would sincerely volunteer to help others. THERE is NOTHING like helping others to forget your pain and realize that others have it MUCH worse!

After 25 years, my husband divorced me. I thought I'd die from grief. I didn't and 6 months later....I am better than I have EVER been. 

The possibilities, for you, are endless.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Im so sorry to hear this, If you look at my post history you would see that sometimes I recommend trying to save the marriage and other times I say get the hell outta dodge. This one, I have to say get outta dodge, reguardless of the past, for someone who is living off of you, drug addicted, to cheat on you, ooh hellll no, dump that chump.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I am totally sorry for your pain, Paperstreet.

It thought the other posts did a wonderful job in advising and supporting you, particularly Corpuswife.

I won't even add to it because anything I add may subtract.

Good luck.

I will add one thing - you are part owner of that home. Get an attorney's advice but if I were you, I'd move right back in and plop on the couch in between them and say "Whazzup?"

The sense of entitlement that some spouses feel to the marital home astounds me and my stb-x and I still haven't resolved that issue legally yet - full plenary hearing in Oct. on that. Unless you've been violent, I see no reason why he's any more entitled to the home than you are.

Good luck. . .just some side legal points you should double check with an attorney in your state.


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## PaperStreet (Jul 30, 2010)

It is really sinking in that I am the maker of my own destiny. I can build my life in any shape that I desire. It's beautiful and a little scary at the same time. I even enrolled in school today, something I always wanted to do but was unable because he was such a loser.

We have no children together, so the final blessing for me is that I will never have to see him ever again! My lawyer informed me that I don't even have to be in court, which is nice. I want nothing from him, but my name back. He can continue his downward spiral, I am not going along for the ride! 

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and advice. I really appreciate it!


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## stalemate (May 13, 2010)

Good for you Paperstreet! I am so glad you are standing up for yourself and moving forward.:smthumbup:


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## Dani (Jul 1, 2010)

PaperStreet, you will look back in a year and be so glad you didn't waste any more of your precious life. Keep looking forward and take care of yourself now!


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## PaperStreet (Jul 30, 2010)

I saw him today for the first time since this all happened. I can't begin to describe the amount of pain I feel in my chest. He had to drop of documents that I need for school and he pulls up at my work in a brand new Lexus. He says, So do you like my new ride? Not as much as I liked the baby seat in the back! I had to leave work, I was a wreck. I think he's completely void of compassion or sensitivity. That or he really wants to kill me.

I know that I will never be with this POS ever again, but why does it have to hurt so much? When is the pain going to go away? When will I not care anymore? 

I just wish this would stop hurting so much.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

PaperStreet, I am so sorry your x is putting you through all of this BS. For me, it took about 6 months to be over the majority of the hurt. There are still some bad days every now and then but they are definitely few and far between. Hang in there and keep placing more and more value on yourself and the chance you have been given. I don't know who Ann is, but she heard that chair drop for a reason. Now get out there and start living your life!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Be strong, he's not the one for you and just move on. Don't throw your life away from someone who's not worth the effort. You poured everything into the cup and he never once even glanced at it. You've drained yourself and now need to take a step back, and recharge your life for you.

It's hard but never give up. Remember you still have family and friends, use them as your support and build your life again with them as a base until you find that someone special who'll want to fill up 1/2 of the cup with you. BTW if you could get him to put a little more than 1/2 into the cup, even better :rofl:


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## christine30 (Mar 23, 2010)

I always say, life is too precious to kill or hurt yourself over a man or woman.. especially those that dont love you as much as you do. 

I believe that in time all this hurt will pass, and eventually, you will find someone who loves you and is willing to treat you like the princess you are. From his actions, he seems to be with this other girl because of financial reasons. He does not want to be a man and face responsibility. but, depends on others. 
You know you have tried, and fought for this marraige, when he couldn't appreciate you. 
it will hurt, but soon you will realize it was for the best and you deserve so much. 

You have your family and friends to support you, at the end that is all that matters.


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