# Getting over ex wife's new sex life



## Breakingpoint (Jan 21, 2013)

Background: Just filed for divorce two days ago. Wife is still living in the house till she finds a place. We had a pretty rocky marriage with an affair episode on her part last year. She came to me with the fact that she has been unhappy for a few years now. She said she needed time away to find herself but because of the lack of trust I have for her being out on her own I decided a divorce is a must. I still love her and i'll always see her as my wife i think and the mother of my two boys. I keep feeling sick to my stomach picturing her with another man in bed. Does his feeling ever go away?

On a side note she seems to be OK with me going out and finding another woman. She says she doesn't want to imagine me with another woman but she does want me to be happy which is more important.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yes the feeling subsides. In fact, you may even find it gross at some point. 

You only filed two days ago so it's still raw.

Time and distance from her are the keys.


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## BashfulB (Jul 1, 2013)

Is she dating other men right now? Getting all prettied up and leaving the house at night? 

That would be hugely disrespectful to you and your feelings and I for one would not put up with that behavior.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

BashfulBull said:


> Is she dating other men right now? Getting all prettied up and leaving the house at night?
> 
> That would be hugely disrespectful to you and your feelings and I for one would not put up with that behavior.


What's he going to do, even if she is? They're divorced, and legally no more than roommates, I'd guess. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Breakingpoint (Jan 21, 2013)

No she is not going out yet. Right now she is trying to find a job and apartment. She has gone out a few times with a male friend that I had suspicions about but i now know nothing is going on. Just the thought during those two times was a glimpse of what's going to happen when it's true.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

PBear said:


> What's he going to do, even if she is? They're divorced, and legally no more than roommates, I'd guess.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


They are not divorced. He said he just filed a couple days ago. 

And the fact that she already went out with one guy in clear view of her husband shows just what kind of person she is. 

I agree with BB that for her to date other men in front of her still-husband is insulting and degrading to him. As long as she lives there she needs to cool her jets. 

I can't stand these people who think that legal separation is a free pass for running around and cheating on your STBX spouse. If both spouses agree to do so then that is one thing, but it should only occur when they are living apart and don't have to witness it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm sorry this is happening to you.It's important to remember and may even help you harden your heart toward her but she wants you to find another woman so she can carry on guilt free.If you move on and find happiness then she doesn't have to feel like a bad person for destroying your life together.
It's going to take more than a few weeks or months to get over this.Maybe you should look into counseling for yourself to cope with those mind movies of her with other men?


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> Yes the feeling subsides. In fact, you may even find it gross at some point.
> 
> You only filed two days ago so it's still raw.
> 
> Time and distance from her are the keys.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Good thoughts coming your way...I only filed yesterday. It is hard anyway you look at it. I'm just glad my stbx isn't coming home...I think


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

For some the mind games take years to fade.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

And for others it never stops


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Basically she was asking you for a pass to screw around. 

It's obvious she's off the track. So if the deal is you guys can go out, then call some friends and start going out. Make it a habbit. She's probably already having sex with someone and you'll never see it coming. 

You need to detach. Start working out if you dont, lose weight, socialize and make yourself the best you can be.

Your feelings for her will fade in time.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Dude...in a year you're going to look back and wonder why you stayed.

It's weird. When you are IN it, you think the best of your wife. You naively believe all the crap they spew.

A year later, these stories send off major warning bells. Your wife is a liar and she probably never stopped cheating on you. Her actions speak far louder than words, and what she told you shows she had the utmost contempt for your marriage.

Don't be afraid to grieve, but start getting out there and finding life. I guarantee you'll be happier in the long run from this.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

COguy said:


> I guarantee you'll be happier in the long run from this.


EVERY guy I know, all of them, who got divorced in their 30's or 40's says it was the best thing they'd ever done. They always say dating is easier, there's more "opportunities" for dating and a lot less competition.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

awake1 said:


> EVERY guy I know, all of them, who got divorced in their 30's or 40's says it was the best thing they'd ever done. They always say dating is easier, there's more "opportunities" for dating and a lot less competition.


This is so true. I'm not trying to brag, but at 45 I get waaaay more skirt now than I ever did when I was 25. 

I don't know what it is. My looks have not improved, if anything I am uglier now than I was in my twenties, but women in their 30s seem to really dig middle-aged men.


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