# Being Married In The Facebook Age



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

I am sure it has likely been brought up before, but I just want to add my 2 cents about marriage and Facebook.

Before my wife and I got together, she had a brief fling with a Canadian, around 1999. This consisted of him inviting her to visit him in Canada from the United States, he had sex with her, then he unceremoniously disappeared for 6 weeks, only to reappear and tell her that he was involved with another woman. They knew each other for maybe 6 weeks tops, he got what he wanted from her, obviously, then kicked her to the curb.

Wife has been on Facebook since around the beginning of the Facebook revolution. Sometime pre 2010 she found this man and friended him. I'm sure it started innocently enough, little messages, "POKE POKE POKE", and so on. It culminated in her going to see her parents in Arizona and him flying there to meet her, then we spent 2 years in counseling and me in personal therapy to try and get past it, only to have her fly to Toronto and link up with the guy AGAIN.

I don't know if they even had sex, what I do know is that my wife is in love with another man, and we are 99% likely going to be divorced in the near future. 

I just want you to know what happened in the hopes that you do not make the same mistakes my wife and I did. 

1) First and foremost, if you and your spouse spend a lot of time on the computer on Facebook or Twitter or whatever, you must be open to one another and be open about what you are doing. You can NOT delete the computer history, you can NOT change passwords constantly with the intent of keeping your spouse out of "your business". Ask yourself this: If my spouse were sitting right here right now, is what I'm doing appropriate? 

2) NEVER EVER give in to temptation. If you have the slightest inkling of feelings for someone, or you feel a spark rekindle for a friend that you were either involved with or once wanted a relationship with, your best bet is to cut ties with that person immediately. It is honestly best to not even friend old flames on Facebook.

3) "We should get a cup of coffee sometime" Huge and deadly error, absolute bad news to even consider. This is the gateway to all things that will destroy your marriage. Nevermind your intentions, nevermind that you will say to yourself "It's a public place, no harm, I just want to say hi/get closure" etc, whatever the reason, disaster waiting to happen. 

4) If your spouse has reservations about your activities on Facebook, give your spouse your password, and vice versa. A marriage should be an open book, and Facebook gives people far too much leeway to do really stupid things that they should never do, generally starting off innocently, small steps that lead to big "no no's"

5) If your spouse suddenly starts removing/blocking your family and your friends, removes all pictures of you, changes status, any combination of the above, that's a huge warning sign that he/she is up to no good. Do NOT assume otherwise, ASK them what is going on and insist on sitting withthem as they go through their facebook page.

6) NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER let a marriage counselor tell you "Oh the internet isn't a big deal" or anything like that, because I can tell you from experience, Facebook destroys marriages. If any of the three counselors that we went to see had actually addressed the Facebook issue and her ongoing relationship with this man, we might have had a chance to save things. Instead our marriage is doomed. 

7) If your spouse does make a mistake, they need to remove the person and never ever talk to them again, EVER. No friending the person, no going to their page, nothing ever. And dont' just assume that a friendship without any physical interaction is "ok", an emotional affair can be even worse than a physical one as the feelings can displace you in your spouse's heart and make your spouse believe completely that he/she "does not love you" anymore.

8) Never ever blame yourself for your spouse screwing around on Facebook. This was another mistake that I made, tried to change myself, thinking that I was the problem. As with any act of infidelity, if the faithful spouse tries to fix the cheating problem, the faithful spouse will spin out of control into a freefall of depression and hopelessness, and likely anxiety/panic attacks to boot. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep track of what goes on with Facebook. Instead of being proactive within my marriage, I gave in a little here, a little there, didn't worry about what my wife was doing, didn't see her removing my friends and family, blocking me, didn't know she had developed an online fantasy about this former flame who himself is married with 2 kids...

I found out when she told me she didn't love me anymore. And now two years later after trying to fix things, blamed myself, tried to change myself, and in the process gave up my manhood, I have no say anymore as we head towards this divorce, I was so desperate to save this marriage that I gave everything up...  Don't let this happen to you!


----------



## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Personally I think FaceBook/Twitter/You name it are going to be the death of civilization as a whole aside from the re-connection/cheating aspect.

Obviously I am being over dramatic but it is really concerning that everyones life is now available to the world. Not to mention it is a worthless time sink.

My wifes page is an open book to me so I have no concerns about affairs but the amount of time she spends on that drivel makes me insane... Do I really need to know that Uncle Billy's brothers cousins son just learned to take a s**t???


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

My wife used to have it open to me, then she slowly blocked me off without me knowing, now I'm completely blocked and we are headed for divorce. It's a terrible thing when people don't honor the boundaries.


----------



## Viseral (Feb 25, 2011)

Agreed. Never been on Facebook and never will. Seems like nothing but drama comes from FB.

I personally think it creates an atmosphere that capitalizes on human nature by introducing temptations that would otherwise not be there.

This strains relationships and diverts attention outside the family instead if inside the family where that attention belongs.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Hey PO

Couldn't agree with you more.

But I also want to add that your wife was never yours to begin with.

She has low self esteem and no honor.

Let her go!

You deserve someone a heck of a lot better than her.

Let her chase her Canadian lover.

He will dump her again. It is inevitable.

You just watch. From far away.

HM64


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Sure, he'll dump her, again. But five minutes of Alpha beats five years of Beta/Delta.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

She can't be with the guy, he has a family, 2 kids, I don't know wtf she is thinking. I'll do my best to get through the next 5 months where we are forced to co-exist...

She's offering in for the divorce:

1) I get the kids for 9 months of the year
2) She takes over the car payment, my name off the loan
3) I get the house to keep or pay for, whichever I choose (almost no equity in the house, refinanced in 2010, we spent the 7K we got out of the refinance)
4) She's willing to use one lawyer, so I'll use my lawyer to get everything ready.
5) She takes her 7K credit card debt with her.
6) I keep our two cats, as they are very attached to the kids.
7) I take the pickup and my sports car, both are paid off.

I'm not looking to screw her over, I think she's just so eager to run for the hills that she is willing to accept these terms. 

Another thing I discovered, she has been talking about this graduate school in Buffalo, NY, for the last 6 months, a completely impractical option for us as a married couple to move there...

I noticed for the first time a couple days ago that Buffalo is 55 miles from Toronto.... where this other man lives. 

Honesty is NOT a virtue my wife has.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> Sure, he'll dump her, again. But five minutes of Alpha beats five years of Beta/Delta.


Wasn't always like that, I was the alpha for 8 years... till a man hating marriage counselor f'ed that all up, broke my will and made me believe I had somehow caused all the problems. 

My fault, but in the face of losing my wife and kids to divorce at THAT time, I made a lot of stupid decisions.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

It looks like its her turn for stupid decisions.

Sadly she is only thinking of herself and not you or the kids.

Let Her Go!

She needs to go. She needs to get used and abused again.

Some people never learn.

And you and your children deserve to be happy........


----------



## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

Very good post. Hubby has maintained a couple of friendships on facebook from the dating website we both met at. I cannot fathom why.


----------



## kevinocarro (Jan 3, 2013)

Another thing I discovered, she has been talking about this graduate school in Buffalo


----------



## dixieangel (Jun 28, 2012)

OP, I agree with you. Facebook and marriage do not mix. It has caused and continues to cause problems in mine. I wish it would disappear.


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Wifey and I have each others passwords and we have agreed each other can, at any time, review their fb, emails and even read each others journals. Granted, when she is upset with me I don't like what she journals, but I understand it is her way of blowing off steam.


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Po12345 said:


> Wasn't always like that, I was the alpha for 8 years... till a man hating marriage counselor f'ed that all up, broke my will and made me believe I had somehow caused all the problems.


It sucks. When people around here recommend MC, it makes me cringe. Your odds of getting someone who knows how to deal with affairs is not good. The model of marriage they push is artificial and contrary to the natural state.



Po12345 said:


> My fault, but in the face of losing my wife and kids to divorce at THAT time, I made a lot of stupid decisions.


She won't be able to take the kids with her to NY, so you won't be losing them. Get fit, up your wardrobe, and 6 months after the divorce you'll have a soft harem rotation of 3 or 4 divorced women and you can get your alpha back.


----------



## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Po12345 said:


> Wasn't always like that, I was the alpha for 8 years... till a man hating marriage counselor f'ed that all up, broke my will and made me believe I had somehow caused all the problems.
> 
> My fault, but in the face of losing my wife and kids to divorce at THAT time, I made a lot of stupid decisions.


Two things:


 You gant go through your life making decisions out of fear. You make decisions based on what you want to do and what you think is right.
 Once you meet someone who doesn't have the same "value systems" as you do, end the relationship immediately. This is especially true for people you hire to help you, like MC's. I'll be damned if I allow an MC (or anyone) to cut my Alpha. It took me too long to develop it!


----------



## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Po, liars lie, cheaters cheat, honest people are honest people, that's just what they are in life. Facebook is an neither good or bad, its the propensity of the user that makes its use good or bad. Unfortunately your ex is who she is, and you can't change that fact. I would say you got as good of a deal as you can hope for at this point. Cut your losses. Next you need to work on you to make yourself ready and open to the great relationship that lies ahead. Best of luck to you.


----------



## inexplored78 (Jan 4, 2013)

Dude, this is exactly what happened to me. Facebook has destroyed my marriage. As being humans, we all think that we are not going to do any harm but checking profiles of people that can blaze the flame. But emotions deep down can twist and turn the way we think. Some poeple are wise/strong enough to know the boundaries and yet use fb for the benefit. But some are prey of emotions.
My wife reconnected with her ex boyfriend and started acting wierd and now to the point where we have no communication. She has gone so far in her mind that I am not able to get her back into her zone. I know she is heading towards a disastor. But one can only help when the other party is willing. We are most likely end up in divorce.


----------



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I don't think facebook is to blame. Facebook didn't make your wife look for or allow someone else into her life. She was vulnerable, or did it intentionally. 

Atleast you have the knowledge and the opportunity to move forward with your life.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Tikii said:


> I don't think facebook is to blame. Facebook didn't make your wife look for or allow someone else into her life. She was vulnerable, or did it intentionally.
> 
> Atleast you have the knowledge and the opportunity to move forward with your life.


I completely disagree... 

Facebook allows people to connect differently than ever before. You can lump twitter and myspace and the others in here too. The social sites that provide a constant stream of what someone is doing are a constant temptation to contact that person. 

More so with facebook than the others, you look up people by their actual names, locations, you can find an ex flame so easily regardless of where they live. Not so with email, and the work to find someone's phone number/address the old fashioned way still doesn't compare to the temptation that Facebook provides, where you friend someone, and perhaps despite best intentions, you watch what they are doing daily, and slowly those old feelings start to come back, and you make that "Let's meet up for coffee" and the ball starts rolling.

With email you don't get a constant update on the person unless they intentionally email you. Facebook is like looking into someone's window on a daily basis, and it takes but a moment of weakness to contact that person and make a huge mistake that ruins your life and destroys your family in the process. 

While I do agree with you about my wife being vulnerable (and yes, she did this intentionally, she didn't "accidentally" fly to Toronto to meet him), this would NOT have happened without Facebook.


----------



## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

The Mrs and I are both on FB and we basically both have the same group of friends and we're both very open to one another's shinaguens or banter with our friends. 

Nothing at all to hide because if you're worried about hiding something then it simply means you shouldn't be saying those things hhmmmmm ????


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Facebook makes it easier. There are as many stories of positive Facebook use as there are negative ones. Every new wave of technology changes the way we interact. Before Facebook it was chat. Before chat it was email. When the telephone became common it made new modes of communication possible and no doubt some wandering spouses used the phone to communicate with lovers in ways that weren't possible before. 
There will very likely be new technologies in the coming years that will again change the ways we interact and offer new ways to be unfaithful. 
Blaming the technology does not absolve the people who use it for unethical purposes of their responsibility.


----------



## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

I got onto FB b/c I knew my wife would be hit on and I knew that people she knew would attempt to steal her time away from me. I was right! Something occurs to me about embarrassment...and I hope I am not threadjacking here. I have seen alot of people (majority men) who are embarassed to voice an objection when they think their spouses behavior gets out of line. And or they don't want to do what they have to do to police their own behavior. A former classmate of mine, who I am friends with on FB, challenged me to play a popular word game. I told her that if it was all the same to her, I would rather she play a 3 person match between my wife and I. Did I feel weird asking that? Yes, but my wife and I have a boundary set up where neither of us is allowed any gaming one on one with the OS. People need to get over the social awkwardness and start setting and reenforcing boundaries. I have seen and read to many FB horror stories to think that you can just assume that you and your SO are going to automatically be on the same page.


----------



## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Po12345 said:


> I completely disagree...
> 
> Facebook allows people to connect differently than ever before. You can lump twitter and myspace and the others in here too. The social sites that provide a constant stream of what someone is doing are a constant temptation to contact that person.
> 
> ...


You're blame shifting your wife's affair onto FB.
FB didn't make your wife cheat, SHE did.
She mostly definitely would have still gone to meet him, regardless if she had a FB because she was looking for him, PERIOD. 
It had been 11 years since she last saw him & even though he used her & dumped her, she still looked for him. 
Repeat that, with a disclaimer, he got her to fly ALL the way to Canada, he then used her, dumped her & she STILL wanted him after all that time. 
Think about this, she's NEVER gotten over him, she's only been biding her time until she could find him.
There was NEVER anything innocent about her reaching out to him on FB, she was methodical. 
She has been searching for him, she didn't just stumble across him & THEN decide to go see him.
If it wasn't FB, it would have been Google or Yahoo, or PeekYou she used to find him.
Until you accept that your wife is fully responsible for her affair & only her, you're never going to accept this divorce.
Don't blame anything or anyone else except your wife.

Besides, it's so easy to find people these days without ever using FB.
There are actual websites that will search for people using something as basic as a User Name.
You can search by name, phone number & email address.
Yeah, finding someone in 2013 is as simple as typing a name into a data base & you don't even have to call 411.


----------



## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Tikii said:


> I don't think facebook is to blame. Facebook didn't make your wife look for or allow someone else into her life. She was vulnerable, or did it intentionally.
> 
> Atleast you have the knowledge and the opportunity to move forward with your life.


Agree on this one,if there is no problems in marriage then facebook won't be a problem but if you have problems then facebook just amplifies them.


----------



## Honest opinion (Dec 14, 2012)

Dear OP 
Your absolutely right,I agree 100% with you,I've seen so many couples marriages was destroyed due to Facebook ,it's a disaster social network of a complete damage,from bullying to child molesters ,acceptable social nudity ,cougers and then comes cheaters.even those with no history of cheating facebook just open the doors to flirt, comment ,and dirty messages ,that gave some hope that love is waiting on the other side,better take my chance before its too late.
It's been one year and six days I'm sober and Facebook free ,my husband closed my account cuz he thought it might effect our marriage as I spend lots of time for three month on FB hosting groups and adding friends ,joking laughing flirting and sharming others with beauty ....looking back now ,he was absolutely right god knows what would have happened down the road if I continued with my behavior . It wasn't easy on me to be totally out its like drugs I never thought I'd say that on the Internet ,I'm so happy he forced me out ,I look at my kids and say what would have happened how much I would regret ,if I was stubborn and insisted to keep my account ...I feel so bad for your family I wish things was different  one day your wife will realize that she made the biggest mistake but it's too late .she is facebook addict to fly and meet someone this is an extreme case ,and your MC is a waste of time.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Phenix70 said:


> You're blame shifting your wife's affair onto FB.
> FB didn't make your wife cheat, SHE did.
> She mostly definitely would have still gone to meet him, regardless if she had a FB because she was looking for him, PERIOD.
> It had been 11 years since she last saw him & even though he used her & dumped her, she still looked for him.
> ...


I have never said it wasn't my wife's fault for choosing to do what she did. I still however maintain that without Facebook it would have never happened. She HATED him when we first got together (and yes, I realize hate and fantasy can still coexist), she used to talk about not understanding why he did what he did, "How could anyone treat me that way?" etc. She had never attempted to look him up until Facebook. It was the ability to interact with him on Facebook on a daily basis over two years slowly created a spark that slowly built into something else to the point where she was writing in her little private journal about him daily, both cursing herself and fantasizing about him. 

Then that turned to cursing me, and "why couldn't things have worked out with (the other guy)" etc etc, blaming and blasting me repeatedly for things that, while not perfect, are absolutely normal in a relationship. 

My being disappointed that the dishes weren't done
Disagreeing about when to take trips because we had no money
Handling my anger immaturly, muttering under my breath and such...

Oh her side, her depression, anxiety, fear of crowds, failure to complete household chores with any sort of regular rhythm...

Both of us procrastinating on things... all these things were issues from 2005 to 2011, the first 6 years of our marriage. 

It wasn't until she looked him up on Facebook that things really turned for the worse, rather than communicate with me she put up an emotional wall, and started spending all her time on Facebook talking to friends, and to him, and slowly dumping me from her life. She removed all my family and friends off Facebook and I never even saw it coming. 

You can believe what you want about email, phone, etc. While I do agree they can facilitate the same mistakes for people to make, I still stand by what I know: We had a wonderful marriage until she found him on Facebook and spent two years moving him into her heart and convincing herself she does not love me anymore. It is interesting... 8 years ago it was "How could he ever treat me like that?" and now it has become "How could you have treated me like that?" about our relationship and marriage. Funny how revisionist history works, isn't it? Easy to justify your actions when you alter your perception of reality. 

And yes, that is 100% her fault.


----------



## Kelgirl (Dec 30, 2012)

I have a love/hate relationship with FB. I use it mostly for advertising. My daughter does a little modeling and I mostly post her pics. My family/friends knows I am married, therefore I would never try to form a fb relationship. FB don't break up marriages..it may make is a little easier. I think the marriages already have problems. My husband is not on fb and will not have anything to do with fb. I think its kool if a husband and wife are both on fb and friends with each other. I would allow my husband on my fb page.. FB would be the last place I try to form a relationship outside of my marriage.


----------



## Kelgirl (Dec 30, 2012)

:iagree:


Maneo said:


> Facebook makes it easier. There are as many stories of positive Facebook use as there are negative ones. Every new wave of technology changes the way we interact. Before Facebook it was chat. Before chat it was email. When the telephone became common it made new modes of communication possible and no doubt some wandering spouses used the phone to communicate with lovers in ways that weren't possible before.
> There will very likely be new technologies in the coming years that will again change the ways we interact and offer new ways to be unfaithful.
> Blaming the technology does not absolve the people who use it for unethical purposes of their responsibility.


I agree with you 1001% can't blame it all on technology.


----------



## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Po12345 said:


> I have never said it wasn't my wife's fault for choosing to do what she did. I still however maintain that without Facebook it would have never happened. She HATED him when we first got together (and yes, I realize hate and fantasy can still coexist), she used to talk about not understanding why he did what he did, "How could anyone treat me that way?" etc. She had never attempted to look him up until Facebook. It was the ability to interact with him on Facebook on a daily basis over two years slowly created a spark that slowly built into something else to the point where she was writing in her little private journal about him daily, both cursing herself and fantasizing about him.
> 
> Then that turned to cursing me, and "why couldn't things have worked out with (the other guy)" etc etc, blaming and blasting me repeatedly for things that, while not perfect, are absolutely normal in a relationship.
> 
> ...


Po, just as you didn't want to believe in your other thread that your wife was cheating on you, I think you need to start digging back to see when your wife really began to search for the OM.
Hire a computer forensics expert to go through your computer to see her history. 
For someone to actively search out someone they said they hated is a smoke screen, if she really hated him she *NEVER* would have sent a Friend Request on FB.
No, she's had feelings for him, unrequited feelings that have stayed buried until she found him again.
Think of it this way, she has trickle truthed you already, there is the possibility there is even more to come, hence why the majority of cheaters TT to begin with.

I can tell you that I dislike my exes & I would sooner poke my own eyes out then ever search for them.
They are my exes for a very good reason, to want to go down memory lane with either of them turns my stomach. 
The past is the past, I have no desire to relieve any of it with.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Phenix70 said:


> Po, just as you didn't want to believe in your other thread that your wife was cheating on you, I think you need to start digging back to see when your wife really began to search for the OM.
> Hire a computer forensics expert to go through your computer to see her history.
> For someone to actively search out someone they said they hated is a smoke screen, if she really hated him she *NEVER* would have sent a Friend Request on FB.
> No, she's had feelings for him, unrequited feelings that have stayed buried until she found him again.
> ...


I am not sure but it looks as though you feel I don't believe my wife cheated on me. *She cheated on me, I know this*. It doesn't matter if it was sex or not, she sought out the affections of another man, then two years later did it again, with a complete disregard for how it would affect me or our family.

Early on in her "Facebook" useage, sometime in 2009, I believe she tried to convince herself that she sought him out for closure, "I want to know why he did what he did" in order to make excuses for what she was doing. Then after awhile she agreed to meet him, convinced herself that she and I were never meant to be together, spent the last two years refusing to stop staying in contact with the OM, lied to me about it, and now finally gave up on the marriage, never acknowledging that allowing herself to fall for him was the single (by far) largest reason for why she believes she does not love me. 

I'm completely off of Facebook, deleted, have been so for several months now. But for my wife it is basically her primary means of socialising, she does next to nothing in real life as far as friendships go. I go back and forth between feeling like I hate her and feeling pity, along with the fact that I do still love her (God help me get past that, working on it). As others have stated above, she's in for a world of hell in the coming years, and my best option is to be lonnnnnnnnnnnng gone by that time. Unfortunately a 5 year old and a 2 year old will forever be in the crossfire if I do not remain cordial about how I do this. Nebraska is NOT a very friendly state to the husband during divorces. Thankfully my wife is willing to give up most everything in order to get out of the marriage.


----------



## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Oh I know you know she cheated on you, what I meant is I think that her wanting the OM goes back beyond the timeline you think it does.
She told you she hated him, I think she was lying & that she has wanted to find home for some time.
Come on closure, for a "relationship" that lasted 6 weeks & happened over 10 years ago?
Something is very off about that & that is what my posts were in regards to.
Dig deeper, I bet you will find more than the BS she has been feeding you.
Which could very well help your divorce case.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Phenix70 said:


> Oh I know you know she cheated on you, what I meant is I think that her wanting the OM goes back beyond the timeline you think it does.
> She told you she hated him, I think she was lying & that she has wanted to find home for some time.
> Come on closure, for a "relationship" that lasted 6 weeks & happened over 10 years ago?
> Something is very off about that & that is what my posts were in regards to.
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Nebraska is a no fault state so all of that doesn't matter. She is giving me most of what I want anyway one we get the ball rolling on the divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## stopandmakecoffee (Jan 2, 2013)

Po12345 said:


> I am sure it has likely been brought up before, but I just want to add my 2 cents about marriage and Facebook.
> 
> Before my wife and I got together, she had a brief fling with a Canadian, around 1999. This consisted of him inviting her to visit him in Canada from the United States, he had sex with her, then he unceremoniously disappeared for 6 weeks, only to reappear and tell her that he was involved with another woman. They knew each other for maybe 6 weeks tops, he got what he wanted from her, obviously, then kicked her to the curb.
> 
> ...



well i do all of the above while my marriage was still ok/ Befor Dword era.
never had any fishy affair/fling on facebook too.nothing was ever serious on facebook.we used facebook just to share quotes,funny pics, my notes ,to play games or crazy joke; managing my business or his.i don't have that many on my friends list either, i set privacy setting so no one would find me by googling me out.i dont like to reconnect with highschool/college friends, let alone ex boyfriend(s). there is reason why they're called EX.

we know each other's passwords, tagged each other in many notes/photos,everyone was free to check each other's inbox. later on when he declares D-word, i make new email adress[es], twitter and change my facebook pass.still friend him down on facebook, but change the setting so he[and his friends] cant see any update from me, cant like nor comment anything i post.i just want to go dark and still be civil. i don't want our friends fighting on *my *wall about our marriage problem.my friends mostly sharp tongued and is friends are mostly 'docile' so i really don't want to put extra conflict.in the good days, my friends and his friends -even we shared some of them in - weren't that friendly to each other as well.so there 

somehow it still surprises me why people take social media seriously.yes i do a lot of TMI on socmed but nothing serious.serious stuff go to other place like forum or else. i joined 2 other forums and i enjoy the anonymity.


----------

