# Cannot imagine being away from my kids..



## cantbelieveitisdone (May 16, 2011)

Hello! Well my husband of 11 years moved out today. We have been living with the awkwardness of the separation for the past 1.5 months and he is finally gone. I am somewhat relieved and sad. I get sad when i see his empty closet or his sink in the bathroom which is now clean and bare. He wanted this.. said he didn't feel like we had anything to save anymore and I agree. The love had been lost a while now. I am mourning the loss of my family. We have two kids, 9 and 6. I am sad for the things we won't share as a family, I am sad to think of just me and the kids Christmas morning. I am terrified to have to face that first weekend alone in this house without my kids. I never wanted to be away from my kids.. this freaks me out!

Any advice on how to cope with this, would be appreciated. I run and do triathlons, so I am hoping to try to enjoy my weekends training and taking my time while doing so. All of my friends are married with kids, and while they are a huge support, I feel somewhat alone in this very married world.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

It's funny, because when I got married I was the only one of my friends who was married, and when I divorced I was the only friend who was divorced. I always felt like an outcast.

My suggestion is to keep yourself as busy as possible. Try something new! I know it's hard when the visitations start but it gets easier. You might actually look forward to having some "you" time. I know it may not seem like it now, but some day it will.
Just be upbeat and positive. Don't let your kids see that it is hurting you to have them go visit their other parent. You don't want them to feel bad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yes. The kids are one of the scarier parts of the separation. However, it does get easier. It takes a while, but a "groove" will set in and thing will get more comfortable. Not perfect, of course, but less painful. I thinks moms have a harder time with this, also. I never underestimated the mother bond strength, so whenever my ex starts feeling lonely without the kids, I just tell her to come over for coffee and a visit. I'm not sure if this would work for you, bu it did work for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

^^^I'll second that. The kids are the worst part, but it does get easier. I dread the first Christmas morning without them, but I know we'll be fine. We'll make do. Just stay strong for them!


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## lostdad (Apr 2, 2011)

I hear you, I can't imagine not waking up in the same house with my son on a daily basis. I'm a stay at home parent so my bond is more like mother/son then father son and the thought of missing out on things like vacations and Christmas mornings just make me break down. In fact I stopped crying over my wife months ago, the only thing that still gets me to tear up is thinking about my son and how we're tearing his family apart. I can't stand it honestly. I've come to accept the end of my marriage but I can't seem to wrap my head around the change that's going to take place with my relationship to my son.


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## cantbelieveitisdone (May 16, 2011)

LostDad- I am sorry! I know how you feel. I just don't understand how it can be so easy for him to not be with his kids. He travels all the time, so luckily the kids are used to him being gone. Today is Day 2 and he still hasn't called tonight to talk to the kids and they go to bed in 5 minutes. That is pitiful to me!


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Yeah know how you feel. When wife disconnected from me she did it to the kids as well. They didn't understand everything at first but now that they know mommy and daddy are having problems they are associating her behaviour torwards me and her behaviour torwards them, and whats worse is they are 6 and 4 so they think simply and honestly and I am unable to lie them, so I get asked a lot of questions that I just can't answer.


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