# I had to find out the truth



## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

Hi new to the forum, found it searching for self help after finding out about my wifes affair.

I initially discovered it after finding she was still logged into FB. After reading through a transcript I discover she had been seeing someone who was in a group of friends she went out with .

This person is someone who I had voiced concerns about 18 months ago and she assured me she was not that kind of girl

We have been together 11 years and have 4 children.

When I confronted her she said they had sex twice, one of those was guilt ridden and they had to stop.

A week later I was not happy, I knew there was more and I got into her FB and email accounts. It was there I discovered that she had been staying in hotels with this guy and that it had been going on 12 months whilst I thought she was out with friends.

She has now declared her regret and that it was going to end (which I did read prior to confronting her) and that its me and the kids she wants.

Im at a total loss what to, I love her and am besotted with my kids, I am not sure she deserves a chance after first lying about the length of the affair and it taking me snooping to find the truth.

Any advice please? :scratchhead:


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Have you filed yet?


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## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

My initial thought was to do that, but since calming down Im not sure its the right thing to do first?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I say this all the time but betrayed husbands don't seem to want to hear it. So you will probably do just the opposite, to your own detriment. The thing is, if you want any chance at all of getting your marriage back on track, you'll have to dump her. Leave her and let her know you're moving on. If she shows TRUE remorse, then you can consider taking her back. If you stay, with an attitude like "I'll do anything to save my marriage" then she'll lose the last bit of respect for you that she has and it will be over.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm sorry you have found yourself here in need of help. It's a tough road back to recovery but it can be done.

Get the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. It's a quick read. The book has the basis of what you need to know about how to get through this.

Has your wife ended all contact with the OM? Has she, with you there watching, sent him a no contact letter?


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Read this

Check out the newbies link  here


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

only you can decide if you can forgive and trust her again.

take your time and think it through in the mean time I would recommend filing anyways (you can stop it later if you want)

is she showing remorse? did she neglect you sexually durning this time or during your whole marriage.

watch and see if she acts like she is sorry. if she acting like glad thats over but still has an attitude then she isn't sorry and I would say move on with your life.


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## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

Ive moved out workingonme and told her I don't want to work through it, but then whilst away my mind is on overtime deciding what the best course of action is, Ive told her i've no interest in her apart from being civil for the kids but I am not 100% whats best especially with the kids?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are going to get a lot of people here telling you to just dump her. Please don't make a move like that until you have read the book I suggested. There are things you can do to recover your marriage. You do not have to dump her to get her attention if she is already doing what is necessary to work on recovery.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Sorry you have joined a club that no one wants to be in. It is not uncommon for a WS to lie about how many times. They may be ashamed, afraid of your reaction or still in the A.

There are some steps you have to take and quickly. Try not to think about trying to hold on to the marriage at this point. Your goals should be the kids, you and your health. Above all the kids first

Your wife was very selfish, she did not think about the kids or you or what was best for the family when she dropped her panties for another man. I know I have been there.

The first thing to do is expose let the other mans wife or girlfriend know, tell your family, hers and friends. Even if you think it is over it is not. She has had feelings and fantasies about her A and this POS OM and she is going through a break up.

Make her write a no contact letter and you send it. Get the kids out of the house and then tell her you know that it has gone on for a long time. She needs to come clean right now or throw her out on the street. What ever you do no crying in front of her.

She needs to give up all passwords to emails, facebook, phone ect now and not after she cleans them up. You demand she goes for an STD and Pregnancy test now as well. Be firm about all of this you cannot be a doormat you need to be an Alpha Male.

She is going to fight you on this stuff and just point at the door when she does.

Do not decide on D or R right away get into an MC right away as well.

Sorry you are here, be strong and not a doormat right now.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

She ended it only because she got caught. You may have read she wanted it to end but my guess is at some point it would have started up again because that's what cheaters do. The "high" they get from cheating rarely goes away. 

Only you can decide to stay with her. She does not get to decide that. 

I hope you can make it work if you stay but remember, your wife lied to you the while time. Went to hotels by her choice and kept it a secret for a year. That's the wife you have. Something tells me you are not being told the whole story. You most likely read the tip of the iceberg. 

If she really felt guilty, she would have confessed right after it happened, but choose to keep the affair going.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If you've already moved out, then she should be in full remorse mode. Look up and read "Tears" thread. Now there's a woman with true remorse. If your wife isn't acting like that now that you've moved out, then keep going and don't look back. Do not, under any circumstances, be the one to make the first move in getting back together!!!


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Who is OM, you say you know him?

Is he married, has a GF?


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## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

Really appreciate the threads you posted BjornFree, the 180 list is something I can work with. Thanks all for the advice, Im looking to concentrate on the kids and me and take it from there. Do the emotions get less intense with time? its been 2 weeks so far


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## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

I had met him a couple of times, he was separated from his wife with two kids. I cant help but feel this was being planned to move on together and that I found out so now she is regretting it.......how can I trust her?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Trickle truth is standard. There are few wives out there that, when confronted with evidence of an affair, will freely confess to every betrayal they are guilty of. Your wife wants to save face. If she freely admitted to having all the kinky sex with this guy that you've been begging for for years, well you would probably kick her to the curb. So, she has to minimize. I don't blame her. That's standard. If you get pulled over for speeding, you don't tell the cop, "Hey, you should have seen me a mile back, I was really hauling ass!"

Beowulf had a good translation guide that I've amended. If she says they talked, they talked about sex. If she says they went for coffee, they went on a date. If she says they kissed, she blew him. If she says they cuddled, they had sex. If she says they had sex, they went around the world more times than she can remember.

First, I think it's more appropriate for your wife to leave the house, rather than you. Go back home and kick her out.

Second, I certainly don't blame you if you decide to divorce. Yes, it will hurt your kids. But it's not your fault. Your wife put you in an awful situation.

Third, I think the best position for you, even if you decide to reconcile, is to move toward divorce while giving your wife an opportunity to convince you to call it off. Divorce is a process. It will take months at a minimum. Go talk to a lawyer today. Let your wife know. Then, you can talk to your wife about an amicable split. Let her see clearly what is at stake. Go to marriage counseling during this process. If she can convince you that she's recommitted to your marriage, then you can call off the divorce.


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## Robsia (Mar 11, 2013)

worldandhisdog said:


> Do the emotions get less intense with time? its been 2 weeks so far


I can answer this one. It's been four weeks for me since I found out.

Yes, it does get less. For the first 2 weeks I felt sick every day, pretty much all day. I could barely eat or sleep. It was all I thought about ALL day.

Then, it gradually started to ease off. I could feel other emotions without them being abruptly elbowed out of the way by despair. I even started to be able to work a little again.

Just this week, I found it wasn't the first thing I thought of the second I woke up in the morning - these days it takes at least ten minutes before I remember.

But you'll find the smallest things trigger you, and it all comes flooding back.

As to whether you should R or D - that's something only you can decide, and I'll tell you the same thing I told my WH - that is a decision I will make based on his behaviour alone. If he shows true remorse, does everything I ask him to do, reads all the books and does what they tell him, then, maybe, one day, I will be able to say, yes, we can try again!

I filed for D. I can reactivate that any time I wish, depending on what he does.

Don't make any hasty decisions. You don't have to do everything today.

And only R if it is the right thing for you. Don't do it for her. She doesn't deserve it. Do it for you - if it's what YOU want Otherwise, don't. Don't think to yourself, "I don't want to throw my marriage away." She already threw your marriage away when she fvcked another man.

I am so sorry you find yourself here. It's a club no one wants to be in.


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

worldandhisdog said:


> Ive moved out workingonme and told her I don't want to work through it, but then whilst away my mind is on overtime deciding what the best course of action is, Ive told her i've no interest in her apart from being civil for the kids but I am not 100% whats best especially with the kids?


*Move back in.* 

You stand to lose much more otherwise. Your children need a stable and faithful parent. I understand you're in shock, that's natural.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Why did they end the relationship ? 

Reconciling or divorce, take some time to make the decisions. Kids are definitely a big factor but not the only one. Factor all these in when you make the decision.

How did she react when you found out ? Does she blame you ?


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## worldandhisdog (Apr 3, 2013)

She only ended it when I found out, I found out on the day she was going away with him to a hotel so I dont believe she was going to end it like she said she was.


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## ody360 (Feb 1, 2013)

worldandhisdog said:


> I had met him a couple of times, he was separated from his wife with two kids. I cant help but feel this was being planned to move on together and that I found out so now she is regretting it.......how can I trust her?


At the moment you cant trust her.. Unfortunately you should of booted her to the curb instead of you leaving. Atm you need to basically assume your marriage is over until she does all the heavy lifting and work to get you back and regain your trust.. You worry about you and the kids stay healthy or get healthy if your not already, that will help you confidence. She is the one who decided instead of dealing with your marriage that she was gonna be selfish and only worry about her and not you and the kids..

Take the time to decide what you want to do and get your head on straight. I think someone mentioned dont react right away. You need to get your head on straight and then make decisions. This is a major shock and awe your going to go through get ready for emotional swings from hell. But just remember, now that you know what you know you are now in control of you and your responsibility with the kids. She is now not the person you once new.. So move forward be a good dad and if your WS decided that she wants to be a part of your life you make sure she earns it.. Need to be strong.. good luck


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> If you've already moved out, then she should be in full remorse mode. Look up and read "Tears" thread. Now there's a woman with true remorse. If your wife isn't acting like that now that you've moved out, then keep going and don't look back. Do not, under any circumstances, be the one to make the first move in getting back together!!!


:iagree:

You can find examples on this site of WS who are truly remorseful as well as plenty who are not and never were. 

If there is no remorse...TRUE REMORSE there is no hope. 

Sorry you are now in the CWI club.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

worldandhisdog said:


> She only ended it when I found out, I found out on the day she was going away with him to a hotel so I dont believe she was going to end it like she said she was.



Bingo!!! Thought so. 

So much for feelings of guilt. You and kids deserve better, you can't trust her now or in future. Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?

And why the heck did you move out. You did nothing wrong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

worldandhisdog said:


> When I confronted her she declared her regret and that it was going to end (which I did read prior to confronting her) and that its me and the kids she wants.


Merged two of your most crucial lines to give you an insight on what was going on, and what WILL go on. It wasn't going to end. Ding ding ding! Bingo, I'm glad that you had this figured out before long now.

Oh and hey, "she assured me she was not that kind of girl"?
I totally wanted to post a good ol' Yeagle sketch for this rare occassion, but will withhold it. You may never know when any trigger will come in.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

worldandhisdog said:


> She only ended it when I found out, I found out on the day she was going away with him to a hotel so I dont believe she was going to end it like she said she was.


Yeah. I've never heard of "goodbye anal."


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Move back home.

Make her move out.

If you are interested in having custody of your kids, dont leave the family home -- it will be considered abandonment, and you have decreased your chances of getting a good custodial terms.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

worldandhisdog said:


> She has now declared her regret and that it was going to end *this time*(which I did read prior to confronting her) and that its me and the kids she wants.


Fixed that for you.

She has lied repeatedly to you, including after the first time she was caught. Realize that you can't believe a word that she says right now. Also realize there is good chance that the affair is still on (even if they are just laying low right now).

With that in mind:

1. Move back in. Why should you leave when you did nothing wrong. Tell her to leave.

2. Consult an attorney. You don't have to file, but find out your rights. Make sure that the actions you take don't hurt you down the line if you decide to divorce.

3. Read up on the "fog" and what to do to get through this. Surviving the affair is a good start. This forum is good as well.

4. Take care of yourself. Exercise is good. Avoid drinking. Try to get sleep (easier said than done). You have four kids that need you. Don't hurt them by neglecting yourself.

5. Take you time. This is a big decision and you don't want to be rash. Don't let anyone pressure you to make a decision. That includes her, your parents, her parents, family, friends, even us. You got hit by a lot, and need to process it. 

6. Having said take your time, consider filing for divorce to wake her up. You can always withdraw it, but it may be what is needed.

7. Finally, consider whether you need to continue digging. She says a year, any chance it was more? What about other men besides this one? I hate to say it, but what about your kids? Any danger they are not yours? Pointing that out to her, even if you don't think it is the case, is another example to her of how things have changed.

Good luck and I am sorry you are here.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

worldandhisdog said:


> Hi new to the forum, found it searching for self help after finding out about my wifes affair.
> 
> I initially discovered it after finding she was still logged into FB. After reading through a transcript I discover she had been seeing someone who was in a group of friends she went out with .
> 
> ...


World,

Sorry about your situation. It is similar to what I endured almost two years ago. She trickle truthed when I found the texts. But after I subsequently recovered almost 4000 emails from the POSOM, spanning over a year and a half; there wasn't much left to trickle truth about. I was fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to learn just about everything. 

You need to ask yourself, if you find out the whole truth, what you can forgive. Can you forgive her if this was an exit affair and you are now plan B? If you can't, do what you need to do to find out if that was her plan. You need to know first, what you're forgiving. The veteran posters will guide you.

You have the advantage of finding TAM now right after your Dday. I didn't find TAM until 9 months later. Hence, I made a lot of mistakes; mainly related to not giving her sufficient consequences and failing to quickly expose. And for that reason, despite our current attempt at R, I regret not testing her remorse more than I did. 

If you decide to R, you have an opportunity to test her remorse from the beginning. Don't waste that opportunity. Give her significant consequences. Expose completely. Consider starting the divorce process, but at least continue to separate for a while so that you have time to process your thoughts. During this time, she should still be jumping through hoops to save her marriage. Make her earn her way back if you let her back at all.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Not sure if anyone has mentioned it earlier - but get tested for STD's as well right away. 

People don't usually use protection in affairs.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

If you really want to know what happened and what they said behind closed doors, I can show you were to look. But I will warn you, it will hurt you. PM me David


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Move back to your home and bed. She can sleep on the couch or guest bed.

Next you need to get busy exposing the affair to both friends and family and to his wife too.

This isn't exposure to attack her, it's exposure to help destroy the affair by making sneaking around no longer supported by friends.

It is also a test to see her reaction, if she truly has ended it,then she will be embarrassed but willing to face up to what she has done. If she has not trust ended it she will be angry because you exposing it, especially to the guys wife will be directly interfering with the affair.

Do not warn her that you are going to expose until you've sent it out, otherwise she will contact the OM and warn him.

Obviously you can't trust her. She's lied each step of the way and only given up what you already know.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

All cheaters lie, justify, minimize, evade your quest for the truth.

Cheaters are addicts, addicted to dopamine and dopamine LOVES novelty. New partners, new excitement, forbidden love. You need to learn how to show TOUGH love, show her consequences. She lied to you, cheating on you, after you discovered the affair, she lied to you about that too. How much is she willing to stake by all her lies and deception.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

worldandhisdog said:


> I had met him a couple of times, he was separated from his wife with two kids. I cant help but feel this was being planned to move on together and that I found out so now she is regretting it.......how can I trust her?


How can you trust her? You can't. Yet. If you do ever trust her again, it will take you time.

There are some people on TAM who do not believe in any reconciliation, ever. 

However, there are couples on TAM who have reconciled and are together.

Stick around, check out the threads.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

worldandhisdog said:


> Ive moved out workingonme and told her I don't want to work through it, but then whilst away my mind is on overtime deciding what the best course of action is, Ive told her i've no interest in her apart from being civil for the kids but I am not 100% whats best especially with the kids?


 Move back home now. By moving out you give her many advantages should there be a divorce. You can sleep on the couch and follow the 180, but move back now.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Have her wrte out a detailed timeline. Everything:

* where, when, what they did, what he/she said about you

* who else knew, helped with cover excuses

* how much $ she spent on hotels, gifts, etc

*what he bought her

*secret email accts, burner phones, getaway clothes, makeup etc

How did they come to know each other? Do they work together? Have friends in common?

There's much you don't know and you need answers.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

as others have said---and we can't say it strongly enuff---GET YOUR BUTT BACK INTO YOUR HOUSE

Put her and all her clothes into a small room in the house, or out onto the street---she "dissed" the family---she wanted a lover, in other words, she didn't want her family anymore---so tell her fine she got what she wanted----SHE IS OUT OF THE FAMILY


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

worldandhisdog, welcome aboard. Sorry you're here.

A lot of what you'll read on this forum will seem harsh or counter intuitive. You will make your own decisions, but I want to suggest that you seriously consider all of the advice offered. You and your wife have not reinvented reality, you are living a fairly common sequence of events.

Which means that the usual advice here is usually very accurate and helpful in the long term.

First, you did not do anything to cause the affair. You co-created a less than perfect marriage. She made decisions and took concrete actions to get into and then continue this affair. So do not accept any blame for the affair.

Second, take care of yourself. Eat well, cut out the substances like alcohol, tobacco, pot, caffeine. Try to sleep well. See your doc and get some light meds if you need them in the short run to sleep or calm anxiety. Get into some kind of in-person support group or individual therapy. Venting here helps but it is no substitute for being able to sit down with a real person to talk things out.

A book I like is "After the Affair". The other book someone else mentioned is probably fine, I haven't read it to be able to comment on it.

Definitely talk to an attorney. Don't make any agreements with your wife or put anything in writing until you get legal advice. If you go to divorce everything will be used against you by her lawyer.

Now is the time to be strong for yourself and your kids. Be strong in defending your dignity and in defending your kids' future. I know it can seem very wrong, but in reality the best way to deal with a cheater who was caught is to move forward as if you prefer Divorce. The worst thing you can do is profess your love and work hard to win her back. It makes you look weak and desperate in her eyes, which makes you less attractive. You don't have to be hateful towards her, just don't become a begging whimpering idiot.

After being on this forum for a while I think there is a tremendous amount of wisdom in setting her free and considering your marriage over. In my case I see a definite demarcation between the before and the after. If you both choose reconciliation be aware you will never have your old marriage back. Never. You may be able to build a new relationship with this new person. Or perhaps you will not be able to.

You are on a roller coaster which will last months or even years. The ride gets less crazy every day. You'll get through this.


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

worldandhisdog said:


> My initial thought was to do that, but since calming down Im not sure its the right thing to do first?


It's always to the right thing to do, it can be taken back later but you have to at least send a message. Not only that, in your case it would take a lot from her to even consider trying to R.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I say this all the time but betrayed husbands don't seem to want to hear it. So you will probably do just the opposite, to your own detriment. The thing is, if you want any chance at all of getting your marriage back on track, you'll have to dump her. Leave her and let her know you're moving on. If she shows TRUE remorse, then you can consider taking her back. If you stay, with an attitude like "I'll do anything to save my marriage" then she'll lose the last bit of respect for you that she has and it will be over.



Very solid piece of advice. You should seriously consider following it.

One, it snaps her out of the affair fog and brings her back to reality. What was once fun and exiting has not become a very worriesome life changing event. She won't be pining for the OM so much when she's worried about divorce, how she'll live with reduced income, or if she's making the "right choice". Especially effective if the affair is relatively new. Cheaters are like monkeys swinging from branch to branch. They won't let one go until the other is firmly in hand. So...snatch her back to reality before the other branch is firmly in her hand. She'll scramble to get back to the security of her familiar branch.

Two, it demonstrates you're not a doormat, and that you have self respect. In the long run, if you want to consider reconcilliation, your W must respect you and fully believe the next time she crosses a line like this, that you will be gone. Whatever it is that happened that she lost enough attraction and respect for you that she would cheat on you (getting her attraction needs met by another man), it is time to set it straight, and let her KNOW you are a man who will stand up for yourself, and will not tolerate someone violating you so seriously. That is attractive. That will get her more worried about losing you, instead of thinking she can get away with schenanegins like cheating because she believes you won't leave. This is accomplished by leaving her in a curled up heap, crying, blowing snot bubbles, and believing her world has ended because her husband is leaving her. She must FEEL THE PAIN if she is to remember this and understand what she could lose, AND make a better judgment next time she's presented with the opportunity to cheat.

It will be painful for you to watch, but it needs to be done.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

She's had over 12 months of hot intimacy with this guy. It's a dream world for her. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't posting on a cheaters website. There's a few websites where they encourage each other and give tips on how to make hotel dates and overnight stays happen. They provide "what to say" on dday and how to go underground. 

Scour her computer for shady sites. They're not hookup sites they're advise sites for cheaters. You might be shocked further.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

why would you want to stay with such a person who did a very evil thing?

The belief that you cannot be happy without her is one you need to shake. She hurt you and you can find someone better


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Please, please listen to the posters who are saying that there's a very good chance that she hasn't ended the affair. The standard behavior is to just get sneakier. This is standard, sadly, along with all the rest of the lying.

So, expose to kill off the affair. Family, friends, work, whatever applies in her world.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Set yourself up with counter measures fore mentioned.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

What exactly are you forgiving?

She lied about the affair

She lied about how long they'd been doing it

She lied about breaking it off with him and continued to do it

Only when you discovered the truth did she "break it off"

What exactly did she regret? Getting caught?

What exactly are you forgiving?


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

and a word of advice i bet you anything they ARE STILL in comunication!! and without you being home its so easy for her to do so.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> You are going to get a lot of people here telling you to just dump her. Please don't make a move like that until you have read the book I suggested. There are things you can do to recover your marriage. You do not have to dump her to get her attention if she is already doing what is necessary to work on recovery.


He does not have to "dump" her. That is simplistic. What he does have to do is be willing to let her go in order to get her back.

Has the affair ended? How do you know? If you want to reconcile you have to make sure that the affair has ended. 

I do think she has to understand what she has risked and what she can lose in order for there to be remorse and a real effort to earn your trust back.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Goldmember357 said:


> why would you want to stay with such a person who did a very evil thing?
> 
> The belief that you cannot be happy without her is one you need to shake. She hurt you and you can find someone better


Because describing a cheating spouse as an "evil doer" is a sort of comic book response to a very real and very serious situation?

Because he might love her, still?

Because... GM, you *have* looked at the several threads by the couples who have reconciled whilst on TAM, haven't you?:scratchhead:

B1 and EI, Calvin and CSS, etc., etc.

Do you believe that reconciling with a spouse who cheated is *always* a wrong decision?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

World

You are getting a lot of good advice.

I wish you had stayed in the home and asked your wife to leave.

Here are two things you really know.

1. Your wife is a liar.

2. Your wife is a cheater.

You should expose the affair to the OMW. They might be separated and they might not be. The OM and your wife are liars.

Just the fact that she brought him around you speaks volumes about your wayward wife and none of it is good.

Since you moved out you need to either move back in or see an attorney immediately to legalize your separation or file for Divorce.

Some people say do not rush into D. I usually agree with that. But having her served D papers lets her know you are in control and will no longer tolerate her lies and cheating.

Until your wife tells you all the truth and is remorseful then you have no one to Reconcile with. 

Judge her by her actions not her words.

Definitely see an attorney right away. Separate finances. Get a custody schedule in place.

Make her feel the consequences for her lousy decisions.

Sorry you are here.

HM64

PS
Secure your evidence. Copt all texts, emails and FB posts that you can in case you need it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

You can't trust her.

-Move home.
-She writes an NC letter to her OM
-You get access to all her emails,texts,phone,Facebook .everything.
-You put a VAR under her car seat without her knowledge.
-You talk to a lawyer and have divorce papers drawn up.
-Watch your financials, bank, investments whatever she has access to.Start stashing some cash somewhere she can't get to it.
-She no longer goes out without you or your direct permission.Most definitely no more nights out partying.

You're in for a long ugly ride.
I wouldn't do it.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

She's already banging him. It's a fact.


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