# Friends with benefits....



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

A family friend and I - he is in a similar divorce situation, and he too is a FT single parent, were together with a bunch of friends a few weekends ago.

Well, we embarked upon a friends with benefits relationship... it was all good since we live several states away, and we only see each other now and again because of it.

The first week after, he was communicating with me fairly often, I was fine with that. And he was telling me he wanted to see me again in a few weeks (I was fine with that too)-- some of the communication was um, well, rather steamy and not G-rated (again totally ok with me  )

All seemed good, we were having fun, we were communicating now and then.... and the last communication I had from his was very steamy!

Then nothing... I still consider him a friend, and don't quite get why he'd just stop communicating with me at all, even to just return a hey are you going to XYZ this weekend like we planned.

Any thoughts?


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Maybe he went back to his wife.. a lot of mix feeling when divorcing. Just don't question it have fun when you can.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

When someone stops communicating with you it's done very deliberately. he is prob trying to process the divorce and realized it was going too far with you as he is still grieving his marriage. Or he met someone. Or he and his wife are getting back together. or he's just not that into you.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

His divorce has been going on for two years, so it isn't probably that. I do think he didn't expect to like me as much as he did, outside of the sex. 

Honestly, I am good with any of those things, but he's a nice guy and I consider him a friend, I'd prefer who just be honest.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well, if it's not his divorce than most likely he just isn't interested anymore. 

It does suck when you get the cold shoulder from someone you like. But... such is life. Know when to move on. Do not contact him again.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My best friend is going through a divorce and she was in a similar situation with a guy. Turns out he got scared because he liked her too much.

She let him go and didn't pursue an answer. He's back now.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Its ok, I have others who are interested! LOL... it was just weird... though I do know he's been struggling to get the STBX to finish up some stuff and get the divorce OVER. 

I wish I was that close to my divorce... ugh


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> My best friend is going through a divorce and she was in a similar situation with a guy. Turns out he got scared because he liked her too much.
> 
> She let him go and didn't pursue an answer. He's back now.


Yeah, I am wondering about this... I'll wait and see!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Maybe he decided that he was treating you more like an unpaid prostitute than a friend with benefits, and decided that he felt like crap about it, and didn't like that feeling. Did you ever call him and use your 'friends with benefits' status in return, or were just on the receptive end? It kind of (but I'm not sure) sounds like you were being receptive and are now hurt that he hasn't called...that's not what friends with benefits is about, from what I hear about it, and besides, you guys are too far away to have that kind of arrangement work. He probably decided to get a friend with benefits that he could enjoy in person on a more regular basis, and wants to save his social time for just that - social time with buddies male and female. 

Sorry this didn't work out for you. It might have sounded and seemed like a good idea initially...

If you can't talk to him honestly about your needs and expectations then this was not a very good arrangement.

I have a lot of friends but no friends with benefits.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I had a friend whom I shared a similar relationship for about a year. He and I had a blast! Hung out, painted our art together, watched odd movies, went to shows. Friends. I dated others...with no sex. My FWB's sex was so good, I'd rather do it with him and trust he's clean, etc...

Then he and I both found someone (I found hubs, he found his gf) and that was that. 

i think your guy either 1. found someone he's dating or 2. likes you too much and is freaked.


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## 1dayatatime (Feb 19, 2012)

i think the best option would be to just talk to him. be honest since u guys are friends and ask him.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I will ask him when I get a chance... thanks all.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

FWB generaly ends up being more for at least one of you. Intended or not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> Its ok, I have others who are interested! LOL... it was just weird... though I do know he's been struggling to get the STBX to finish up some stuff and get the divorce OVER.
> 
> I wish I was that close to my divorce... ugh


Um, neither of you are divorced yet. Just because the divorce is filed does not mean that it will go through in the end. You'd be surprised how many people end up canceling the divorce and getting back together.


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## LaxUF (Feb 13, 2012)

FWB can work for some people... it can meet the need for companionship & physical intimacy when emotional intimacy is not possible, realistic or wise (prior to, during or soon after Separation or Divorce). 

FWB are usually most "successful" in short term arrangements and pre-established boundaries... Infrequent encounters may prolong the arrangement. The longer a FWB lasts a greater possibility exists for "complications" to occur through changes in feelings or direction by either person. Any number of changes can happen at anytime without notice... new partner, old partner, emptiness, no longer fulfilling, prefer/need to be alone... 

It takes a regular gut check to be present & available for such an arrangement. I've had a few and it can be fun in the beginning but it loses its appeal very quickly without real intimacy. It has no depth and does not work for me personally. If I just want sex I know I'm a sure thing and can get the job done well. HA!

*P.S........ 

I'm beginning to think there is not a topic of discussion where a good TBBT quote cannot be referenced:
*

*Sheldon:* What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
___________________________________

*Leonard:* What were you doing at Penny's?
*Sheldon:* Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
___________________________________

BAZINGA! :lol::rofl:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

LaxUF said:


> I'm beginning to think there is not a topic of discussion where a good TBBT quote cannot be referenced:
> 
> *Sheldon:* What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
> ___________________________________
> ...


Love that show!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Um, neither of you are divorced yet. Just because the divorce is filed does not mean that it will go through in the end. You'd be surprised how many people end up canceling the divorce and getting back together.


I will let you tar and feather me if this happens with either of us... mine is a lying cheater, and his was nice enough to embezzole money from his business and put him in bankruptcy....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> I will let you tar and feather me if this happens with either of us... mine is a lying cheater, and his was nice enough to embezzole money from his business and put him in bankruptcy....


My comment was not based on morality. It was based on the fact that these sorts of affairs/relationships that go on while divorces are about to be filed or filed but not over usually do not work out well. They are generally transitional relationships that people move on and away from the marriage. But the persons seldom move on with person they are involved with.

Look at your situation. Now you are left in limbo while he seems to have used you for whatever he needed and now does not even have the decency to let you know what is going on.

Are you even 100% sure he’s getting a divorce? 

This is a been-there, done-that for me. The guy went back to his wife and sort of forgot to tell me. In my case he did not dump me. When I found out about his lies I dumped him.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> My comment was not based on morality. It was based on the fact that these sorts of affairs/relationships that go on while divorces are about to be filed or filed but not over usually do not work out well. They are generally transitional relationships that people move on and away from the marriage. But the persons seldom move on with person they are involved with.
> 
> Look at your situation. Now you are left in limbo while he seems to have used you for whatever he needed and now does not even have the decency to let you know what is going on.
> 
> ...


Sorry, but if this was a FWB arrangement, OP shouldn't really be wondering what happened. There was no committment or real relationship here, right? After all, isn't that what FWB is? Just sex? He doesn't owe her...(sorry OP, not meant as a jab or anything).


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Sorry, but if this was a FWB arrangement, OP shouldn't really be wondering what happened. There was no committment or real relationship here, right? After all, isn't that what FWB is? Just sex? He doesn't owe her...(sorry OP, not meant as a jab or anything).


Right, he doesn't, it was just weird is all, and he is my friend, and for that, I have concern for him. I have no expectation that it would be anything mor thn a transitional relationship, especially since we live 1/2 a coast away from each other. 

As it turns out, nobody in our circle has heard from him... so it isn't just me. Hopefully he'll surface so we know all is ok with him and his kids at least.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Geesh...sounds just like my H's former FWB...this is just toching a nerve. 

That's exactly what SHE said when she contacted at Xmas. Weird. She was wirrying about his kids. Guess she was more involved than she thought.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

FWB = Booty Call.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Sorry, but if this was a FWB arrangement, OP shouldn't really be wondering what happened. There was no committment or real relationship here, right? After all, isn't that what FWB is? Just sex? He doesn't owe her...(sorry OP, not meant as a jab or anything).


FWB are still friends. Friends do not just disappear when they are done using their friend. I think that friends always owe each other respect and should let each other know what is up.

It's just my opinion.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> FWB are still friends. Friends do not just disappear when they are done using their friend. I think that friends always owe each other respect and should let each other know what is up.
> 
> It's just my opinion.


:iagree:

but...

That's why friends shouldn't be taking off their clothes together...lines get blurred, misunderstandings happen, and then all of a sudden, it's too awkward and someone does a disappearing act, such as in the OPs case.

A friendship IS a relationship. Add sex....and sometimes things get complicated. 

I've had sex only arangements that were just sex, there was no hanging out, doing hobbies, going to dinner, movies...IMO, add all those other things, and I'd be in a relationship.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

BTW - I'm not successful at these types of things, because I tend to get attached, especially in my younger years. Got better at it toward the end of my single life tho! Not that it's an issue, now that I'm married! ;-)


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> :iagree:
> 
> but...
> 
> ...


sometimes I guess, but we haven't been up to it long enough for many complications, if our other friends knew what was up with him, I might feel like it was related to our arrangement, but not I am not thinking so.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

morituri said:


> FWB = Booty Call.


I had a booty call for years. Turned out to be one of my best friends. lol One night he called at 2am...and just wanted to talk.



He was the ONLY friend who sat with me during my father's 14 hours surgery and he was the ONLY friend who came to my dad's funeral.

There was never an attraction for a relationship. It was just good sex that turned into a friendship.

he's doing well now...married with kids. Sometimes you find friends in the weirdest places. lol.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I had a booty call for years. Turned out to be one of my best friends. lol One night he called at 2am...and just wanted to talk.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


When single and unattached, we should all be so lucky.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

He called me today... 

He was busy he said, and I am just plain not going to read between the lines.

Wants to be friends, wants to still do the deed, and so do I... all's good!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Cue porn music


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Cue porn music


Boom-chi-cka-bow-wooooooooowwwwww


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

FWB sounds great in theory....no strings attached, at the end of the evening you go back to your seperate lives, call each other when you feel like it.

But.....in practice

Someone almost always gets attached to the other person, reveals it, the fun ends, and someone gets hurt.

If two people are super good at detaching, are in a place where they are recently divorced or aren't ready for a relationship, then maybe it could work. I think the best option is just date, have fun, see what happens. Sex just complicates things.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

And what if you happen to meet someone new during the FWB phase? What happens then? Pull a 'fade out'? Do you tell your new love interest about your arrangement, or just say nothing, and hope they never find out...? Just curious.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I tell my FWB, sorry buddy, no more sex... met someone that might be something...


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

And let's hope new beau isn't a sexual dud in bed, otherwise fvckie fvckie buddy just might start looking good again.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

My biggest fear morituri.... because FWB is.... yum


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Then I would recommend that you take any potential new bf out for a 'test drive'. If he comes real close to fvckie fvckie buddy, then you may have a keeper, if not then sorry Charlie.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

working_together said:


> FWB sounds great in theory....no strings attached, at the end of the evening you go back to your seperate lives, call each other when you feel like it.
> 
> But.....in practice
> 
> ...


A-freakin-men!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

working_together said:


> FWB sounds great in theory....no strings attached, at the end of the evening you go back to your seperate lives, call each other when you feel like it.
> 
> But.....in practice
> 
> ...


I can't STAND or understand the whole FWB thing...I just CAN'T have sex with a friend of the opposite sex. Once the sex has been had, the friendship changes. Even this thread, the OP wondered where he was, and it was suggested that perhaps he had hooked up with someone else. Then, she was all happy when he finally surfaced again, probably after weighing out his options with some other woman. Sounds more like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff to me...either way, in the end someone will always end up having expectations, or being very disappointed when the benefit ceases.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> And let's hope new beau isn't a sexual dud in bed, otherwise fvckie fvckie buddy just might start looking good again.


Never thought about that, good point.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> I can't STAND or understand the whole FWB thing...I just CAN'T have sex with a friend of the opposite sex. Once the sex has been had, the friendship changes. Even this thread, the OP wondered where he was, and it was suggested that perhaps he had hooked up with someone else. Then, she was all happy when he finally surfaced again, probably after weighing out his options with some other woman. Sounds more like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff to me...either way, in the end someone will always end up having expectations, or being very disappointed when the benefit ceases.


I don't have any male friends, but even if I did, I couldn't imagine hopping in the sack with them, something ewww about it. Then what happens when the sex comes to an end because of relationships, does one end the friendship? or does the person tell their b/f that the person used to be their f buddy. Way too confusing for me. I think it's easier to pick up some cute guy at the grocery store. :rofl:


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Once the sex has been had, the friendship changes. Even this thread, the OP wondered where he was, and it was suggested that perhaps he had hooked up with someone else. Then, she was all happy when he finally surfaced again, probably after weighing out his options with some other woman. Sounds more like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff to me...either way, in the end someone will always end up having expectations, or being very disappointed when the benefit ceases.


Um... yes, I guess it changes, but does it have to be for the worse?? I was happy he was ok because he is my friend, and his STBX is bat **** crazy, and I was concerned for him... which I'd have been whether we had sex or not... that is why he is a FRIEND.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

working_together said:


> Never thought about that, good point.


Well... this obviously depends on one's place in life, but considering I already have 3 kids, if I meet someone and they suck in bed, well, that is probably a deal breaker anyway.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> And what if you happen to meet someone new during the FWB phase? What happens then? Pull a 'fade out'? Do you tell your new love interest about your arrangement, or just say nothing, and hope they never find out...? Just curious.


 I dated people while I had a FWB. They knew I had a friend for my needs. Dating doesn't mean sex for me. I had a good sex life with an awesome friend and was dating people for romance, etc. But by dating, I mean I would go out a couple times. Nothing was serious or exclusive. If I wanted to sleep with someone, I waited a whole cycle to sleep with the other person and wouldn't sleep with my FWB.

When I met Hubs, I didn't even know his name but told my FWB that I couldn't do it anymore because I was completely TWITTERPATED! :smthumbup: It was another 3 months before Hubs and I started dating. 

I grew up thinking sex had to be this big "thing" in life. But then I turned 30 and realized sex could be anything i wanted it to be. And I like sex with someone I can trust, communicate with, talk to, etc. The dating scene is scary with lots of people who just want sex. I was very clear that i wouldn't be sleeping with them and some wouldn't call back and some would. I was always honest though. My body, my choices. Never had a problem with dating.

Sex never changed our friendship. It just made us closer. We are still friends now but don't really hang out or talk because he now lives in Peru with his beautiful girlfriend. There was never a desire for a relationship with him...we were very different in that aspect. We made GREAT friends and amazing lovers, but would have sucked as partners. lol. It worked for us.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> Well... this obviously depends on one's place in life, but considering I already have 3 kids, if I meet someone and they suck in bed, well, that is probably a deal breaker anyway.


A great lover will always strive to make his woman feel happy both in and out of bed.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I dated people while I had a FWB. *They knew I had a friend for my needs.* Dating doesn't mean sex for me. I had a good sex life with an awesome friend and was dating people for romance, etc. But by dating, I mean I would go out a couple times. Nothing was serious or exclusive. If I wanted to sleep with someone, I waited a whole cycle to sleep with the other person and wouldn't sleep with my FWB.
> 
> When I met Hubs, I didn't even know his name but told my FWB that I couldn't do it anymore because I was completely TWITTERPATED! :smthumbup: It was another 3 months before Hubs and I started dating.
> 
> ...


Well, all I can say is great for you that you had such a handle on the whole FWB thing, but obviously, it's not for everyone.

Dating doesn't always mean sex for me either, but personally, there is no way I would (knowingly) date a man who was already having a sexual relationship with someone else, and I dont care what he called it. On the flip side, I certainly couldn't see myself sitting there on a date telling a man that I had a FWB. I mean, what is the guy going to think of me? And if I've gone to the trouble to get dolled up, go on a date with him, YES I absolutely do care what he thinks of me, before anyone asks...

I always wondered this about FWB...If your friend is so awesome, then why aren't you together??? If you're screwing him, and no one else, thats exclusivity, isnt' it? He's your boyfriend, just without the title!


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

lisa3girls said:


> A family friend and I - he is in a similar divorce situation, and he too is a FT single parent, were together with a bunch of friends a few weekends ago.
> 
> Well, we embarked upon a friends with benefits relationship... it was all good since we live several states away, and we only see each other now and again because of it.
> 
> ...


be careful with this Lisa It didnt work for Jerry and Elaine


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> I always wondered this about FWB...If your friend is so awesome, then why aren't you together??? If you're screwing him, and no one else, thats exclusivity, isnt' it? He's your boyfriend, just without the title!



For us two reasons, we live far away from each other, and we are both going through difficult divorces... when all that settles who knows?


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

In_The_Wind said:


> be careful with this Lisa It didnt work for Jerry and Elaine


LOL, but they are still friends!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Well, all I can say is great for you that you had such a handle on the whole FWB thing, but obviously, it's not for everyone.
> 
> Dating doesn't always mean sex for me either, but personally, there is no way I would (knowingly) date a man who was already having a sexual relationship with someone else, and I dont care what he called it. On the flip side, I certainly couldn't see myself sitting there on a date telling a man that I had a FWB. I mean, what is the guy going to think of me? And if I've gone to the trouble to get dolled up, go on a date with him, YES I absolutely do care what he thinks of me, before anyone asks...
> 
> I always wondered this about FWB...If your friend is so awesome, then why aren't you together??? If you're screwing him, and no one else, thats exclusivity, isnt' it? He's your boyfriend, just without the title!


Who cares what the man thinks of you. I wasn't dating to find my Mr. Right. I was just dating people to go out and have a good time. Not all dating is to find a boyfriend. I was happily single 

I wasn't with my FWB because at some point I knew I wanted to be married. He didn't. I was not a neat freak...he was very anal. He didn't want children. I already had one! Sex was good. Friendship was awesome.

No one was hurt with my arrangement. There was no drama. The men I dated knew where I stood. They weren't looking for anything serious either. It was a good time in my life. Just fun. Nothing serious. No drama. No problems  No, my FWB was not my boyfriend. We saw each other maybe 4 times a month? Yea. I am a sexual being but I was so busy with so many things...so the need would hit and one of us would call to hang out 

I didn't care if the guys I was dating were seeing anyone else. I wasn't sleeping with them, so why should I care? We'd go out, have a good time, I made some friends, dating one guy for a few months, maybe a total of 7 times...

Sure, it's not for everyone, but no need to act like it's Soooooo bad!  I was 30 at this time. He was 26, I believe. grown people. People are raised to think dating means you have to be exclusive. That if you date 3 times, it's time for sex or bf/gf titles. I had my good sex. It took a TON of pressure of my dating life. Who cares if the guys never called me back...I wasn't looking for anything special. Just livin' life and loving where I was in it.

Theeeennnn I met Hubs though, and that was it. I hadn't even dated Hubs and I just knew I'd want to bang him  So...I told my FWB that we had to call it quits. He understood and that was that.

We were still friends WITHOUT sex for a long while after I was seeing Hubs. But then as Hubs and I got more together, my friend and I lost touch (as it happens). He got a gf (who is great) and I got Hubs


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

You only live once, why not enjoy your time and have some extra love?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Then I must be backward...the men I'd go out with for a good time (that I wasn't having sex with) were my friends. The man (or men, sometimes) that I was having sex with were boyfriends; er...I was single a long time and I wasn't always exclusive.

I never said it was 'bad'; just sounds complicated!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

> Who cares what the man thinks of you. I wasn't dating to find my Mr. Right. I was just dating people to go out and have a good time. Not all dating is to find a boyfriend. I was happily single


You, as a woman, have an unfair advantage: unlimited supply of enthusiastic sex partners. When a man dates and goes out to have a good time he is not necessarily looking for ms right either, he is looking for sex. I would find it deplorable if the woman I was trying to date was already having her sexual needs fulfilled by some guy waiting in her bed, charging her batteries while some other dude gets to "discharge" them. I hope you were atleast honest and upfront otherwise there are a lot of man you made angry out there (and with some valid reason). If I found out the woman I was dating was a cake eater and just using me as a security guard it would be the end of the date.


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## ProfJ (Jul 28, 2011)

working_together said:


> FWB sounds great in theory....no strings attached, at the end of the evening you go back to your seperate lives, call each other when you feel like it.
> 
> But.....in practice
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

HA! I was always honest. I said that in my post.

Men do this shet allll the time and ARE NOT HONEST. So what's the big deal if a woman does it and is honest?

i didn't use any man for money. I had my own.

Security guard? LMFAO! Hardly. I'd go on a couple dates with people. NO SERIOUSNESS. And i dont' sleep with people within a couple dates anyway. The other guy I dated knew up front and we'd hang out anyway...for a couple months. Again, nothing serious. I had a kid to take care of and NO ONE met my child.

Whut.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Men do this shet allll the time and ARE NOT HONEST. So what's the big deal if a woman does it and is honest?


I didn't accuse you of being dishonest, just said "I hope you were..." To me this is just about informed consent.



> I'd go on a couple dates with people. NO SERIOUSNESS. And i dont' sleep with people within a couple dates anyway...


Exactly, you didn't need to because you were getting your sexual needs met by your F Buddy, which is why I would find it deplorable (especially if you were dishonest about it). When most men invest into a relationship getting to either sex or rejection is the driving factor, and in your position with F Buddy you weren't ready to offer your dates either. Don't get me wrong, men may be having a fun time just "hanging out" with you, but unless they are "nice guys" seeking a woman's approval, or gay, we really hate getting friend zoned.

I guess for me, and all the guys I know, when we date we are looking for the whole package, but my friends and I don't keep f buddies on the side, we also aren't all the bad boy types that the pretty women seem to flock to so we don't really have the option of picking and choosing.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, I wasn't looking for anything really.

It's all in the past though. And it worked wonderfully for me 

I'm married and committed now so who really cares what I did in the past. I just commented on this thread to say that it can work. You just have to be upfront about what you want and honest with the people involved. Communicate .

My past isn't really here for debate. I have lived a good life. 

If you couldn't have handled it, then we wouldn't date again...or finish that date. I wouldn't have cared much at that time. 

this all changed, of course, when I saw Hubs for the first time. I was his before I knew his name.


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