# Putin's cell phone number?



## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Does anyone have Vlad's cell number? I had in saved in my contacts, but my phone went nipples up. I remember the last 4 were 1917, (that goofy commie) but can't remember the country code, etc.

Its time to shoot some feral hogs again, and Vlad loves the heck out of that. Crazy commie will jump off a 4 wheeler and slit their ever-lovin' throats without batting an eye. What a tough guy. Kinda reminds me of a pinko Daniel Boone.

He loves those "Prince Albert" calls.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Well, he is more alpha than some world leaders in mom jeans who throw baseballs like a woman and, wearing shorts, looks like he has chicken legs when "shooting hoops". I mean, the dude wrestles polar bears bare chested and all....


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

You might want to take it easy on the prank calls to a guy who thinks pushing the Big Red Button might be an appropriate response to a metaphorical wedgie.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Aw, Vlad comes on real strong, and is always ready to arm wrestle (effing cheating short guy syndrome) but is fairly easy going after the Coors hits him.

He'd give his I-teeth to be viewed like Eastwood or Norris. He constantly is repeating: "Dying ain't mooch or a leeving, boy". Say's you cannot get a Porterhouse in Moscow unless you're in prison.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> He loves those "Prince Albert" calls.


Shouldn't it be Rasputin in the can?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)




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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

He's the Russian Donald Trump. What an embarrassment both are.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

There is actually a honkytonk out on the highway near here call "BJ's Corral". Vlad loves the place, and can two step a drunk cowgirl right into the bathroom while saying "Ee'm here to corral some BJ's".

Just when it looks like he's going to get stomped and tossed out the back door, he'll rip off a classic like: "Russia really deed win cold wvar. Amereecan women all talk non-stopped like they afraid Soviet A-bomb about to explode."


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Married but Happy said:


> He's the Russian Donald Trump. What an embarrassment both are.


The problem with Putin is that he has the codes for the big nukes.

Trump just had the codes for his own cell phone.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Married but Happy said:
> 
> 
> > He's the Russian Donald Trump. What an embarrassment both are.
> ...


* Oh, my Lord in heaven, how I do pray for a Donald Trump victory in securing the next GOP Presidential nomination! 

As do a host of other moderate Dems!*


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

The last time I had Vlad around we all went to BJ's. I saw him slinking off into the walk-in cooler with this well lubricated sweet thang. I slipped in just in time to hear her say:
"I know you want to blow up all my babies and shlt, but I just can't resist all your male hormones".

I made her sleep in the spare room for two weeks after that.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Если вам действительно нужно , чтобы войти в контакт с ним , попробуйте использовать ноутбук , он дал вам !


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Great thread!

The next time you see Vlad, ask him to drop a couple of extra knees and elbows into heads of Femen.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Fozzy said:


>


:surprise:

:rofl:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> The problem with Putin is that he has the codes for the big nukes.
> 
> Trump just had the codes for his own cell phone.


Yeah, but Trump wants the launch codes. Both are immoral bullies.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Still haven't found that number, but Vlad finally responded to me in an email:

"You don't keep up enough to know how busy I have busy saving your salty bloated countrymen from nuclear annihilation, you capitalist *******? Yes, "a huge sigh of relief" for the whole world is what has kept me so busy. You, I'm sure have been harvesting your Mississippi caviar by sticking your arm in a muddy hole somewhere. I have better sources."

Obviously he's got something tucked away to crow about in regard to this Iran deal. Without getting political, anything that Vlad is this chippy about means he and his Kremlim Kriminals are about to add on to their humble dachas along the Black Sea.

He can sure arm wrestle, though.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This thread reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmIUm1E4OcI


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Fozzy said:


>


Is that a Fitbit?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

It's a Nyetbit


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