# Feminism's doublespeak with perpetual victimhood



## Firefly3000 (Mar 22, 2015)

There are feminists who will point out, in their claimed attempt to gather men as allies to help the feminist cause, that they accept that not all men do X. They immediately follow up by telling men to just start listening to them. They tell them that if men do that, men will 'know better' and do better, because they are 'listening' to women. At the same time, there is an effort to 'encourage' men to speak up and 'teach other men not to hurt women' and to call out those men who do hurt women. These women then propose the challenge of being part of the solution, and not the problem. They claim that men managing themselves is not enough. Men are not just responsible for their own behavior, but now, they are responsible for the behavior of everyone around them too.

Notice how men are not only supposed to manage themselves, but are now responsible for every other man and his choices? Notice how it is the fault of the male gender that this is not already happening? The blame, all of it, is upon men. The blame lies not with everyone in our society but with men. The blame is not put on those that commit these crimes be they male or female. No, the blame is placed upon men with all women as a perpetual victim class.

A popular tactic in use is to ask people to 'just listen'. The request is couched in being respectful and usually accompanies various sharing of women's issues and experiences. They request people to 'just listen' because those sharing have had extreme difficulties, and what they have experienced is so traumatic that to be judged by others for sharing what they have experienced and felt would be too much. They need to be heard, to be understood.

The idea is to treat this sharing experience like a therapy session, with the person opening up being vulnerable and establishing the rule to 'just listen. On the surface, this is a very understanding and valid request, or at least it seems that way without applying any critical thinking to the request. What happens once this 'just listen' request is established is that the person sharing can make negative generalizations, which can not be questioned in any way. The excuse being that to question the person sharing is to criticize them for what they experienced.

No one wants to criticize and blame the victim, but at the same time, part of regular counseling therapies is having someone there to assist us in grounding us and helping us to see the reality of a situation. Actual counselors and therapists will help a person through unrealistic fears, ideas and phobias. They are not there to simply validate every thing we think or feel. They encourage people to work on the areas based in fear which are unrealistic.

By using this 'Just Listen' Tactic. Feminists set up a fixed game where they engender sympathy for whoever has been victimized. If you are a good person who 'gets it', you have to essentially agree with whatever is said no matter how far off base the person is in 'sharing' their experiences. If you don't accept everything they say at face value, then you don't support them one hundred percent and you are a bad person for not 'just listening' and accepting this persons 'feelings'.

Feminists want to use excuses like 'Not all men do X, but because some men do, all women live in fear.' See how that works. All women get to be victims who live in constant fear all of their lives because some men are bad. If any men who don't do those things point out the negative generalizations being made that all men are the problem, those men are then accused of apologizing for any number of crimes, or using excuses to 'not be a part of the solution'.

Being a part of the solution includes feminist calling for all men to 'step up' whenever they see what they perceive to be social injustice against any woman. It's a clarion call for all men to be the white knight and potentially put themselves in harms way, or at least in negative situations which could turn out poorly. All men are supposed to be part of the solution and save any woman in trouble.

At the same time feminist put forth the notion that men are not needed, women definitely don't need them. So why do they expect any man, at any time to step in on any situation where he feels there may be a problem? How many misunderstandings and encounters would get out of hand and result in other problems if all men did this very thing? How many women would be telling men to check their privilege? How many women would point to these 'patriarchal' *******s who step into situations uninvited and unwanted because they perceive 'something'? These men would be asked 'Who do you think you are?" and then maligned for be so presumptuous as to involved themselves in something that is not their business.

Just imagine the backlash of men being told to check themselves for being so nosy and assumptive for acting like this. Some women are insulted if you hold the door for them. Imagine the backlash of a man not checking his privilege trying to be helpful if he just perceives a woman has a problem in a public setting. If fish do not need bicycles, then why do fish want all bicycles to keep them safe while they swim? Are all bicycles responsible for keeping all fish safe at all time?

'Just Listen' may seem like an innocent request, and from those who will reasonably frame their discourse in a manner that admits to certain extremes, or to ranting or venting. Someone who shares and points to the fact that their process of coping invovles saying some things they know are not based in reality can be forgiven. They acknowledge that the coping exercise is to vent frustrations, not to propose negative feelings as having to be accepted as facts. It may be a fact that a person feels a certain way, but that does not mean that the way a person feels is the actual fact of a particular situation.

Where the problems comes in is when women try to reserve the privilege to make blanket discriminatory statements which men, which no one, can not even suggest are unfair without being labeled as hateful ,misogynistic, rape supporting and apologizing scum.

Another claim that gets made is that anyone pointing out unfair statements is that they are trying to silence women's voices. They'll mention privilege, and the word patriarchy will likely soon follow. These efforts do nothing but shut down the conversation they claim they want to have. Of course, the next claim to come is that this was not a conversation. They asked us all to just listen. Just listen. No matter what they say or how wrong some of it actually is. Listen and understand them and accept what they say. Misogyny is now being morphed into any disagreement with a woman being somehow hateful.

Perhaps an online venue in public comment areas is not the best place to air these types of things. Perhaps it is unreasonable to post these sorts of things without expecting someone, somewhere to comment on anything. Perhaps its unreasonable to expect no one to have an opinion on anything. Perhaps, just maybe, it is unreasonable to expect everyone to just be supportive and listen unless you create a specific space with specific rules for that to occur which can be monitored and enforced. Perhaps, instead of finding a way to blame all men, people with these extreme issues should also be seeking professional mental health services in an environment meant to help and assist in coping with these very sensitive life altering occurrences which are causing them serious emotional pain.

The absurd thing is, the suggestion itself that perhaps a public comment venue is not appropriate becomes what they attack as unreasonable. The suggestion that a safe place should be created in order for those who wish to share those stories of pain and hardship is attacked as somehow trying to deny someone their voice. Those suggestions are labeled by feminists as just another way people (men) are trying to tell them what to do. At what point does logic and reason intervene? If one shares personal information in a public forum, one has opened the door to the opinions of those people who see and read those stories. How reasonable is it to expect that because a person post about their life difficulties, that someone on the net won't comment about it in a negative fashion?

No one wants to dismiss or diminish the pain of anyone who has suffered or who has been the victim of a crime, or of poor health, or any other tragedy. Imagine the backlash if a man were to make sexist generalizations about women, but then attempted to use the excuse 'Just Listen' in order to get away with what would be labeled as hate speech against women. That man might have experienced pain and suffering, but that man would still be expected to present his public story without denigrating women in the process.

Worse, another man who shared his story in an effort to empathize with those who had suffered was told that he may had suffered, but he is a man and no matter what, his suffering and pain were less important than any woman's because women always have it worse no matter what. Think of that. His pain and suffering get acknowledged but he is informed that his gender makes what he has experienced less important. Men, apparently your pain and suffering in your lives is less important because of your gender.

It is feminists and other people who communicate like this who hurt what they claim is their own cause. They say they seek male allies against violence against women, but then they point to all men and blame every man. Instead of trying to work to solve problems in new ways and open a dialogue, they shut the conversation down with blame and ridicule of any potential response other than acceptance of what they say. In the end, that's what Just Listen does when people use it like this. It shuts the conversation down. Feminist turn the plea to 'just listen' into “Shut up, and just agree.”


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

*Firefly3000*- Please don't copy word for word a post from another site as you did in this post.


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