# revenge



## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

Hi would you report your partner if you knew that he /she had committed a crime while you were with them ie insurance fraud stealing lying about some thing illegal after you have parted for good


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Straight to the police. 

My ex h pulled identity theft on me after I left him. He stole my personal info and took out credit cards in my name and maxed them out. He thought it was funny since he got away with it. This was before identity theft was protected. He also wrote several different checks stating for over 2,000 in child support. He copied the fronts of the checks and submitted it to the county. They believed him and I was never paid. I was furious since there was nothing they would do. I asked for a copy of me signing the back of the checks and the county blew me off.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

No. If you didn't report it at the time then you shouldn't be doing so now. In fact, while you might not have been a co-conspirator, you directly or indirectly enjoyed the spoils of the theft.

You might feel good in the short term, but you'll feel like a scum later on.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I'm usually one to take the high road, but there are times where revenge feels really good and it's appropriate. It depends on the individual circumstances. If the crimes you spoke about were fairly recent, then I would go ahead and report it. Just be sure you aren't implicating yourself in any way. If it was a long time ago, find another way to get even.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Yes. Especially if the ex had cheated on me.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Frank, do you guys have children? How will reporting the crime impact them?


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## frank29 (Aug 22, 2012)

Back up i am not talking about me but seeing the way of the world it seemed only natural for some might want to get some sort of revenge him / her if they felt abused


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> Frank, do you guys have children? How will reporting the crime impact them?


*If you have kids , you need to think of them and let this go*.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

frank29 said:


> Back up i am not talking about me but seeing the way of the world it seemed only natural for some might want to get some sort of revenge him / her if they felt abused


Whether or not we're talking about you, the advice you've been given still apply to others in similar situation.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

frank29 said:


> Hi would you report your partner if you knew that he /she had committed a crime while you were with them ie insurance fraud stealing lying about some thing illegal after you have parted for good



Forget about it. The best revenge to give your WS is you getting over them and MOVING ON. Wish them the best in your own mind, silently, and move on, and as you do you WILL become stronger period


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

mrstj4sho88 said:


> *If you have kids , you need to think of them and let this go*.


Right! Show your kids that the code of silence is much better than to live by principle! Take the easy way out!


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Right! Show your kids that the code of silence is much better than to live by principle! Take the easy way out!


Slippery slope when the motive for reporting this "crime" is not based on principle, but on revenge. If that is the case, such an act is only telling the children that you can be "selective" on "principle" depending on how the outcome affects you.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

I would like to file a police report on my dad since we have both injured each other in fights. 

But can't do that since we both would end up in the local jail. 

Also what kind of crime?

Like, insurance fraud, how bad? 
But is it a crime like...rape? Murder...bank robbery? 
Organized Crime? (always wondered what it would be like to be a mob boss...)
Cuckolding? 

Because the crime may mean a different answer to a lot of people.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Right! Show your kids that the code of silence is much better than to live by principle! Take the easy way out!


*Excuse me if it takes food out the kids mouth WTF. Plus whatever it is the OP has known about this already. My meaning was simple don't hurt your kids trying to get revenge on your ex. Sometimes people forget about the kids. The kids don't need to have all this childish revenge going on. If some people would start putting the kids first, they would not have time for Bulls.... 


It is not called taking the easy way out. It is called moving the f on with your life. *.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Tough call, would depend on the nature of the offense and the potential to negatively impact our children. If no kids, then most likely I would.

WD


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

F-102 said:


> Right! Show your kids that the code of silence is much better than to live by principle! Take the easy way out!


I would think the kids aren't aware of the fraud in question. I mentioned the kids because if the crime is such that one of their parents ends up in prison then this will impact their lives greatly.

If the BS knew about the crime beforehand and didn't report it then they are complicit in it after the fact (keeping in mind that I'm no lawyer or criminologist.) 

If principle was all that was involved, the BS should've reported the crime when he or she first found out about it.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

I assumed f102 was being sarcastic....?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

And then there are the "exclusionary rules" that might well prohibit the testimony of a spouse against the other, so long as they are still deemed to be married.


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## mrstj4sho88 (Sep 5, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> I would think the kids aren't aware of the fraud in question. I mentioned the kids because if the crime is such that one of their parents ends up in prison then this will impact their lives greatly.
> 
> If the BS knew about the crime beforehand and didn't report it then they are complicit in it after the fact (keeping in mind that I'm no lawyer or criminologist.)
> 
> If principle was all that was involved, the BS should've reported the crime when he or she first found out about it.


:iagree:


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I see both side of this...

With my situation my H had a letter notarized (a letter of invitation to enter Canada for a visit), in order to bring his "friend' over here for a visit from Singapore so she could look for a job. In the letter it states that she would have been staying at our address during her visit here...

I told him I would send that letter in (I found a copy of it) to Dept. of Immigration and both him and her would be in trouble. As we R'd I did not do it but believe me in the state of anger I was in I would have done it had we not reconciled. I told him what a stupid idiot he was for even thinking of signing his name to a letter like that.....

I can understand the anger and why you would be tempted....but the lawyer told me that once you act on something like that it is hard to take it back..as she put it once the wheels of justice begin it is hard to put a stop to it.


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## moogvo (Dec 21, 2008)

My question would have to be "On what basis?" Are you just being vindictive? My ex tried everything possible to get me thrown into the clink after we split up. 

We were not legally married, but in light of the fact that she had high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid problems and several other ailments, I added her to my health insurance policy. Otherwise, I would not have been able to provide for her health issues. She did not work the entire time we were together. I was ALWAYS the provider.

She started hanging around with her cousin who worked in a "massage parlor"... a dirty little shack built from an old gas station where men came for sexual fantasy fulfillment. I would not agree to stay together with her while she worked at that place so she left with her cousin and worked at the place. She called me a few months later asking if she could stay at the house while she was in town for the weekend. I told her that it would be okay, but that she would stay in the guest room and that we were not going to have any relations beyond friendly conversation.

While I was there, a female co worker called and the ex got all bent out of shape. She started screaming about me being a cheater, etc. etc, etc. After I got tired of hearing her mouth, I went to bed. I woke up to the cops dragging me out of my bed in cuffs because I had committed "obtaining property by false pretense" by having her on my insurance, even though I paid the premiums, but because she told them that she signed her name as my wife, which legally, her last name was different than mine and therefore a fraud was committed.

She also got charged with it and the court found us to be "Equally and Severally liable", which means that we were both obligated to pay the debt, and it didn't matter who actually paid, as long as it got paid within the time allotted. She had the cash in her pocket to more than cover her "half", but elected to do her time instead of paying anything, making ME liable for the entire balance of $14,000 in restitution for not only her surgeries and procedures, but also for any medical care I had received with no amount deducted for premiums paid.

That was TOTALLY uncalled for. It all came down to the way SHE signed HER name on the enrollment form and I was the one that had to pay for it.

If you are just being vindictive, then no. You should go jump off of a cliff for thinking about it... especially if YOU benefited from it WHATSOEVER! CLEARLY it wasn't that big of a deal with you since you didn't seem to mind it while the two of you were together. I say "Let it go" and move on with your life.


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