# men...need your opinion. when you see an attractive woman, what do you think?



## sweet n sour

I need mens opinions. My husband cannot look at a good looking woman without mentally undressing her and wanting to have sex with her. 

What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?

I have no issues with him looking but seems to me that there is more to it when he wants to have sex wih them all the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShuttleDIK

What do I think? Or what do I feel.

I feel, immediately, that we should be copulating. That's instinctual and there's not much you can do about that.

But it sounds like he could use some techniques on how to handle himself when in your company. I'm not saying I've got it down at ALL. But I'm 'better' about it than I used to be. At least I don't get called out on it as much as I used to... lol.

Is this belying something more sinister/problematic? 'Cause if this is the major issue, if he's caring enough, it shouldn't be too hard to address.

What always used to bug me is that I would get called out & then 10 minutes later she's ogling some stud... but that doesn't count 'cause she's looking at style or some shti... like whaa?


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## tobio

I can accept the look. What bugs me is the prolonged gaze or the look-then-look-again. That's just rude!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bubbly girl

I'm not a guy, but from what I've read on here and what my own husband has told me, I think it's a pretty common thing for guys. It's because they have so much testosterone. Personally, I just silently acknowledge that a guy is goodlooking and move on.

I don't let it get to me that my husband thinks this way. For one, he's not the only guy to do this. Secondly, he's been thinking these things long before we met. He's been thinking these things the entire time we've been together, and he's still remained faithful to me the entire time. I'm the only one he actually does have sex with, and that's the most important thing.


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## ScaredandUnsure

It's annoying when people can't look at someone else without being so obvious. I had an ex (cheater, loserface) who could slip on the slobber puddle he made on the floor, from all the panting he did staring at an attractive woman.

I mean, humans are going to look at attractive people (I glance at men and women) but to do it so obvious and stupid-like only makes an ass of the person staring, and makes their S/O embarrassed and hurt. 

Tact is a good thing to have, but some people just don't give a damn. Sorry your husband is being a butt hole about it.


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## nice777guy

sweet n sour said:


> I need mens opinions. My husband cannot look at a good looking woman without mentally undressing her and wanting to have sex with her.
> 
> What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?
> 
> I have no issues with him looking but seems to me that there is more to it when he wants to have sex wih them all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I believe this is fairly normal - at least the mental part.

Depending on how old he is though - and your level of discomfort - he should be able to control how long he looks, or at least not try to be so obvious about it.

If he's too obvious, its rude to both you and the person he's gawking at.


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## bubbly girl

nice777guy said:


> I believe this is fairly normal - at least the mental part.
> 
> Depending on how old he is though - and your level of discomfort - he should be able to control how long he looks, or at least not try to be so obvious about it.
> 
> If he's too obvious, its rude to both you and the person he's gawking at.


:iagree:

Yes, thinking something is one thing. Gawking is a whole different story.


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## Kobo

"What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?"


Are you sure that's what he does? Sound a bit extreme.


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## chillymorn

the same thing most women think when they see a sucessfull attractive man.


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## Jellybeans

sweet n sour said:


> I need mens opinions. My husband cannot look at a good looking woman without mentally undressing her and wanting to have sex with her.


Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?



ShuttleDIK said:


> I feel, immediately, that we should be copulating. That's instinctual and there's not much you can do about that.


I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.

So... it's true? 

There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."

But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."

Men...what's the word?


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## chillymorn

there seems to be a double standard.

my wife and most of the women I know are vocal about brad pitt.george clowning I mean clooning and many other good looking celeberities but If I were to make comments about jessica alba or anybody then I'm a pig.


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## Jellybeans

That sucks that someone called you a pig. Alba is a hottie.


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## chillymorn

Jellybeans said:


> Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?
> 
> 
> 
> I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
> 
> So... it's true?
> 
> There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
> 
> But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
> 
> Men...what's the word?


depends on how long its been since we have had sex.
the longer its been the bigger horndog I am.


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## Kobo

Jellybeans said:


> Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?
> 
> 
> 
> I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
> 
> So... it's true?
> 
> There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
> 
> But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
> 
> Men...what's the word?



The "No" category would be pretty empty (Don't believe what we say on message boards)


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## sweet n sour

He isn't a gwaker or anything. Actually I never he thought this was till he told me. 

We are going through issues and sexual addiction was tossed around so I figured I would ask about this. He is 29 and always thinks about sex. I can deal with how he is when is comes to looking and fantasing as long as that's where it stays.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment

sweet n sour said:


> I need mens opinions. My husband cannot look at a good looking woman without mentally undressing her and wanting to have sex with her.
> 
> What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?
> 
> I have no issues with him looking but seems to me that there is more to it when he wants to have sex wih them all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How is it that you know that he cannot look without mentally undressing a woman and wanting to have sex with her? Is he openly ogling women and then verbalizing that he wants to have sex with them to you?

If he is, then you're going to have to work through boundary setting with him. As in, while you can't control a person looking or what a person thinks, you can require that a person treats you respectfully.


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## Jellybeans

chillymorn said:


> depends on how long its been since we have had sex.
> the longer its been the bigger horndog I am.


Do you mean you are more likely to think about sex with an attra tive person you see if you haven't had sex in a bit vs. the contrary?

Also, do men always think about sex if they see an attractive person? Is it a whole fantasy that occurs in the mind or is it something really short? Or just acknowledgement of attractiveness? Still lost here.



Kobo said:


> The "No" category would be pretty empty (Don't believe what we say on message boards)


LOL



sweet n sour said:


> He isn't a gwaker or anything. Actually I never he thought this was till he told me.


Still confused. Did he tell you outright everytime he sees an attractive woman he immediately undresses her and wants sex with her?? 

Or are you assuming this?


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## Mistys dad

Undress her? Yea, quickly though. And I hope those bra snaps are on the front, my favorite.

Want to have sex? No, not so much. The looking process needs to be quick and precise.

Say a small thank you to God for the beauty of the female form? Absolutely.


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## sweet n sour

It came up in conversation when were we talking. I asked him what he thought when he saw an attractive woman and he told me. He doesn't say anything at the time or even after. I just now know what he's thinking when a beauty walks by.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mistys dad

It would be a bigger issue if he was checking out the waiter instead of the waitress.


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## chillymorn

Jellybeans said:


> Do you mean you are more likely to think about sex with an attra tive person you see if you haven't had sex in a bit vs. the contrary?
> 
> yes espically as I age. lol
> 
> but what I find attractive is not so much a reaaly attractive women it has more to do with her disposition and attitude than looks as I age.also I find myself thinking really attractive women are just too high matienance and not woth the bother.if there not beautifull on the inside then the outsidr dosen't really matter.
> 
> now as a young horny 24 7 type of guy it was just about banging her and wondering what she looked like sitting on my face type of thought.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also, do men always think about sex if they see an attractive person? Is it a whole fantasy that occurs in the mind or is it something really short? Or just acknowledgement of attractiveness? Still lost here.
> 
> 
> 
> LOL
> 
> 
> 
> again for me it was depending on my age and maturity
> 
> Still confused. Did he tell you outright everytime he sees an attractive woman he immediately undresses her and wants sex with her??
> 
> Or are you assuming this?


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## bubbly girl

sweet n sour said:


> It came up in conversation when were we talking. I asked him what he thought when he saw an attractive woman and he told me. He doesn't say anything at the time or even after. I just now know what he's thinking when a beauty walks by.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. If it bothers you that he thinks these things, you'd have been better off not asking.


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## bubbly girl

Mistys dad said:


> It would be a bigger issue if he was checking out the waiter instead of the waitress.


:rofl::lol:


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## sweet n sour

I'm fine with knowing....I was just wondering if this is the normal for most men.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

we always hear about the male fragile ego but I think womens egos are even more fragile.


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## Mistys dad

The first warm day of Spring should be a national holiday.

Skirts come back, coats and sweaters disappear, and the day just seems magical.


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## Tall Average Guy

Jellybeans said:


> Do you mean you are more likely to think about sex with an attra tive person you see if you haven't had sex in a bit vs. the contrary?


For me, I notice women much more if I have not had sex in awhile. I notice some women regardless, either because they are very beautiful or hit some trait that I really like. But as it time goes along since I last had sex, I tend to notice more women of all types. I am also more likely to go from just noticing to having more active thoughts. It is difficult to explain but those thoughts jump to mind more quickly the longer it has been since I had sex.



> Also, do men always think about sex if they see an attractive person? Is it a whole fantasy that occurs in the mind or is it something really short? Or just acknowledgement of attractiveness? Still lost here.


For me, it is generally an acknowledgement of attractiveness, or of a particular physical trait (nice legs), but not having sex with them. That has occasionally happened, but not often. As noted above, it is typically after no sex for an extended period of time. For example, I had to travel for two weeks and did not go home for the weekend. By the end, there were a couple of times that I had thoughts beyond attractiveness pop into my head before I pushed them out of my mind. Not a fantasy or detailed "dream", but rather just a quick picture flash if you will.


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## Kobo

mistys dad said:


> the first warm day of spring should be a national holiday.
> 
> Skirts come back, coats and sweaters disappear, and the day just seems magical.


+1000


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## Silly Husband

I'm 46 now, I always notice them, stopped undressing them when I was about 40, stopped having the quick sexual fantasy about 35, stopped being so obvious about it when my wife said it hurt her feelings (25).


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## Silly Husband

Oh, and when the wife is taking good care of me I don't need to take a second look.


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## CantBeJustMe

Well it does depend on how long it's been since I've had sex, at least for me. It seems I notice more women, or at least _*certain features*_ of more women when I haven't sex in a while.

For me though, I normally mentally critique the woman. That sounds like I'm an ass I know, and in reality it's probably true, but it's simply because I know I'll never have sex with her.

Example? "Man, look how tall that blonde is. Great legs. Wow she needs a sandwich, no hip curve hardly at all..." etc etc.

Also my wife laughs at me because I pick apart celebrity women too. Look I know I'm never having sex with any Hollywood actress. In reality if Angelina Jolie walked up to me and pouted those freakishly big lips and said "Take Me" hell I'd probably have a brain seizure from the two voices in my head kicking each other's asses.

But I do pick apart women, that I just see or briefly meet. I also tend to notice the very nice features of certain women as well.

I love curves. And smart ass grins. Long legs. My favorite part of a woman's body is where the hip curves in...but I digress...

I guess I'm a pig. But I'm a faithful to my wife, even though I'm constantly horny, pig.

Taking Back the Reins


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## Jellybeans

Haha. That bit about Angelina Jolie made me laugh.

TallGuy, thanks for answering.

As a woman, if I see an attractive man. Say we lock eyes, I think "Ooo la la la." And I sometimes have little fleeting moments/thoughts in my mind


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## Runs like Dog

Nah. Used to. Now it's just "Well there goes a bag of high maintenance psycho. I hope her coffee order is 1200 syllables or less."


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## JustaJerk

I acknowledge that she's attractive.

I have a type, though. It's not like every woman is attractive to me. I know alot of men consider Angelina the epitome of sexiness, but she doesn't do it for me. I'm more into the softer look... say Kate Beckinsdale or January Jones. I'm not into the "exotic" type. Not a boob man, either. I'm a leg & ass man. 

My favorite thing to say when there's a good-looking woman around is _"I bet she has great personality."_

I've also come to notice that if you're with a woman in toe, they seem to be aware of your reaction when an attractive woman is near... you know... like they want to catch you lookin'. I learned very early to wear sunglass whenever possible. Living in Cali, it's not an option, but a fashion statement... so I'm all good.


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## This is me

Can't paint all guys with the same brush. So much depends on the age of the guy and his personality.

Certainly not all women get that reaction from me, but when younger, more often, now when sexually neglected I find myself roaming the eyeballs more. When satisfied in a relationship, not so much.


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## Tall Average Guy

Jellybeans said:


> Haha. That bit about Angelina Jolie made me laugh.
> 
> TallGuy, thanks for answering.
> 
> As a woman, if I see an attractive man. Say we lock eyes, I think "Ooo la la la." And I sometimes have little fleeting moments/thoughts in my mind


That sounds about like what it is for me. As far as those fleeting moments/thoughts, I will say that they often come automatically. The best example I can give is when you are in a discussion and a not so nice thought pops into your head after someone makes a point. It was not a conscous, intentional thought, but it was still there.


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## ARF

Maybe I don't have a good enough imagination to picture having sex, but I certainly admire the female form. I definitely look even though I'd consider myself happily married. I have no physical type so I can look at all sorts of types provided the combination of traits are attractive to me. The manner in which you look makes a difference. I was filling my car up at the gas station and saw an attractive woman with a nice figure. I was able to subtly get a nice look while another guy was looking noticabley and did it in a way that seemed sleezey. Our thoughts may have been similar but approach was far different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

Jellybeans said:


> Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?
> 
> 
> 
> I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
> 
> So... it's true?
> 
> There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
> 
> But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
> 
> Men...what's the word?


Its a very fleeting thing - might even be less than a second. But its still definitely sexual.

Never noticed myself categorizing them though. Although most women have SOMETHING about them that would make them a Yes or a Maybe.


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## nice777guy

CantBeJustMe said:


> Well it does depend on how long it's been since I've had sex, at least for me. It seems I notice more women, or at least _*certain features*_ of more women when I haven't sex in a while.


I've noticed myself doing it MORE on those rare occaisions when I'm having sex more often as well.



> Wow she needs a sandwich, no hip curve hardly at all..." etc etc.


Lol! Have had that thought more than a few times myself!


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## nice777guy

JustaJerk said:


> I've also come to notice that if you're with a woman in toe, they seem to be aware of your reaction when an attractive woman is near... you know... like they want to catch you lookin'. I learned very early to wear sunglass whenever possible. Living in Cali, it's not an option, but a fashion statement... so I'm all good.


My Ex used to spot them before I would - back when we were young and she had a jealous streak! She'd say "Are you gonna be alright?" It was like an alarm that a really good looking girl had just entered the area!!!


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## nader

It's not really a big deal to us.. we joke openly about our various 'crushes' on TV ... Ryan Gosling or Vin Diesel for her, Zooey Deschanel or Sofia Vergara for me. 

If it's in person, I can usually control my gawking to the point where it doesn't upset her.. the OP's husband should just learn to be a bit more discreet.


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## Runs like Dog

Maybe I just have unrealistic standards. In my random path through the day, all I see is a steady stream of fatties, mom jeans, mutants and weirdos. I can't remember the last time someone turned my head.


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## okeydokie

well how about the contributions some ladies make to have my eyes take a good hard second look. if she is well endowed and they are hanging out of her blouse i believe there is obvious intent to be oogled.

i never do it in front of my wife, at least i dont get caught, i think, hell i dont know


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## Therealbrighteyes

okeydokie said:


> well how about the contributions some ladies make to have my eyes take a good hard second look. if she is well endowed and they are hanging out of her blouse i believe there is obvious intent to be oogled.


Men need to stop wearing ties since they are nothing more than fabric arrows pointing to their private parts. It's terribly rude for men to do this to me and I cannot help myself but openly gawk.


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## okeydokie

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Men need to stop wearing ties since they are nothing more than fabric arrows pointing to their private parts. It's terribly rude for men to do this to me and I cannot help myself but openly gawk.


im wearing a tie right now, but its pointed at my hip


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## chillymorn

all men must switch to bow ties


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## Therealbrighteyes

okeydokie said:


> im wearing a tie right now, but its pointed at my hip


Well straighten it out!  Sure hope it's a Windsor knot too.


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## Therealbrighteyes

chillymorn said:


> all men must switch to bow ties


Ha! It wouldn't be as fun, unless the rest is a tux.


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## Therealbrighteyes

To the OP, my husband does exactly what yours does. It used to hurt me and I did feel somehow less than. I realized that he is going to do what he wants and I can react how I want. It doesn't bother me anymore because I chose not to give up my self esteem. Just remember, for every woman he is checking out, there are 10 times the amount of men checking you out.


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## Unhappy2011

Kobo said:


> "What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?"
> 
> 
> Are you sure that's what he does? Sound a bit extreme.


sounds extreme to me also. 

I suppose it has to do with mental conditioning. When I see an attractive woman I do not automatically undress her and think of sex. Maybe I should? I may think, nice legs or nice ass, but it's not much beyond that..

Also I think women who wonder if all men do that are passive-aggressively wishing strange men think that about them, but they can't admit it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unhappy2011

I also think it is a class thing. It's rather low class to stare, leer and or gawk at people, especially in a sexual way.

And I always think guys who do that with out inhibition know they have no chance. More like they just don't care. Like this childish response, if they can't have the girl they will harass her instead.
How many women have bums, pervs and workers in the back of a truck stare at them with no reservation? Those guys have no chance so they have nothing to lose.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mistys dad




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## Therealbrighteyes

Mistys dad said:


>


Exactly. They aren't opening up the door for you for nothing!


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## nice777guy

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Men need to stop wearing ties since they are nothing more than fabric arrows pointing to their private parts. It's terribly rude for men to do this to me and I cannot help myself but openly gawk.


(note to self: start wearing ties!)


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## Mistys dad

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Exactly. They aren't opening up the door for you for nothing!


That is *why* we open the door.........

Step to the front of her, grab the door handle, get a quick check of the front as you spin the door.

Step to the side to let her pass, get a quick profile.

Step through the door behind her, the full 360 has been achieved. 

If done right, you were a polite gentleman, and she still knew she got checked out.

It's a skill.


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## nice777guy

Mistys dad said:


> That is *why* we open the door.........
> 
> Step to the front of her, grab the door handle, get a quick check of the front as you spin the door.
> 
> Step to the side to let her pass, get a quick profile.
> 
> Step through the door behind her, the full 360 has been achieved.
> 
> If done right, you were a polite gentleman, and she still knew she got checked out.
> 
> It's a skill.


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## okeydokie

do women not like being checked out? i venture a guess that it hurts a woman more if they are not checked out.


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## Therealbrighteyes

okeydokie said:


> do women not like being checked out? i venture a guess that it hurts a woman more if they are not checked out.


When your husband isn't checking you out but checking out others, it hurts. I let it get to me but not anymore. He's a fool but those are his issues, not mine. He sure does notice when other men are looking at me though. You'd think he'd get a clue but no, he's fresh out of them. 
I like being checked out but I don't go out of my way for it. I dress appropriately and take care of myself. The women I find the sexiest are the ones that don't let it all hang out. That just reeks of desperation and issues. A gorgeous woman (to me) is more sexy in a nice pair of jeans, heels and a flattering top vs. a mini skirt and low cut blouse. Not sure what men think.


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## okeydokie

Therealbrighteyes said:


> When your husband isn't checking you out but checking out others, it hurts. I let it get to me but not anymore. He's a fool but those are his issues, not mine. He sure does notice when other men are looking at me though. You'd think he'd get a clue but no, he's fresh out of them.
> I like being checked out but I don't go out of my way for it. I dress appropriately and take care of myself. The women I find the sexiest are the ones that don't let it all hang out. That just reeks of desperation and issues. A gorgeous woman (to me) is more sexy in a nice pair of jeans, heels and a flattering top vs. a mini skirt and low cut blouse. Not sure what men think.


yeah, i checked my wife out for years, told her she looked hot, smelled nice was beautiful, yadda yadda. when met with a rolling of the eyes its kind of discouraging after awhile. oddly enough i didnt mind if i caught another guy checking out my wife. its strangly validating i guess.


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## Therealbrighteyes

okeydokie said:


> yeah, i checked my wife out for years, told her she looked hot, smelled nice was beautiful, yadda yadda. when met with a rolling of the eyes its kind of discouraging after awhile. oddly enough i didnt mind if i caught another guy checking out my wife. its strangly validating i guess.


My guess is your wife didn't believe your words since you were checking out others and you stopped complimenting her because of her dismissive eye rolls. :scratchhead:
It sure hurt when my husband was checking out other womens butts and when I noticed he said "Oh but I like yours". 
Being an afterthought didn't feel good. I no longer view myself that way though. He behaves the way he does because he chooses to and I choose to define my worth devoid of what he thinks.


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## SimplyAmorous

Here is a thread very similar yours, same question ...almost a year ago now ... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/24519-way-men-really-think.html

I followed the answers for some time, I felt this was the most honest answer .... given by Unbelievable ..... 



> I have already said that fixating on a woman (ie, imaging an actual sex act with her or fantasizing about her stripping) is a bit creepy and, of course, that is a choice. My point is that there is an immediate "yes", "no", "Maybe if I was drunk" sort of selection going on for the briefest of nanoseconds in every male brain (at least the straight ones).
> 
> Having been male for nearly 50 years, I have been "listening" to "yep", "nope", "no way in hell", etc every day for at least 40 years. Of the thousands of guys I have worked and lived closely with, they all seem to have the same thing going on. Naturally, only a creton would attempt to act on those thoughts and one would be sort of a perv to dwell on the subject and create disgusting mental scenarios. I'm a Christian and I'm married. Neither experience rendered me blind or oblivious to my surroundings. The OP asked how men thought and I've given the most honest answer I can.


 I remember talking to my husband and my oldest son about this ...and they felt the same as the words spoken above... 

Here is how my husband explained it ....

1st he looks at the face, if that is not appealing, he doesn't look any further....then he automatically puts them into baskets >>> "Doable" ..."Maybe".... or "ewwww NEVER". He said IF there is a CHOICE in these matters, it would be to LOOK AWAY immediately, but he admitted he doesn't want to do that... "it is no fun". 

Then here is his next mental thoughts within seconds.... "I love my wife, STD's, I love my kids , STD's" and that is the end of the fleeting fantasy. 

I think that is all pretty normal. If they Gawk, and the fantasy goes on for minutes, this would just be wrong ...but even when we are married, we still notice & look upon the opposite sex.


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## I Know

sweet n sour said:


> I need mens opinions. My husband cannot look at a good looking woman without mentally undressing her and wanting to have sex with her.
> 
> What I want to know is when you see a pretty woman do you undress her and want to have sex with her or do you acknowledge her beauty and move on?
> 
> I have no issues with him looking but seems to me that there is more to it when he wants to have sex wih them all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We are men. We mentally undress every woman. Hot or not we are imagining what they look like naked. You can pretend to be outraged, but were it not for this drive, you and your mate would likely not be together. 

We are wired biologically this way. I wish it were not so. I waste a lot of time making chit chat w/ the women. If these same women were men, I wouldn't waste my breath. And hold your flame throwers, I flirt with my wife too. She knows she's number 1.


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## Stir Crazy

Runs like Dog said:


> Maybe I just have unrealistic standards. In my random path through the day, all I see is a steady stream of fatties, mom jeans, mutants and weirdos. I can't remember the last time someone turned my head.


Well your location shows as "Redneckistan", so really what do you expect?


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## CantBeJustMe

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Men need to stop wearing ties since they are nothing more than fabric arrows pointing to their private parts. It's terribly rude for men to do this to me and I cannot help myself but openly gawk.


LMAO..............

Don't feel bad. I just had to have a talk with my 15 year old son....about how he needs to stop wearing boxers. Turns out he was coming down the stairs, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and my wife freaked out. She told me later "You need to talk to him. He's like you, he needs to wear some boxer briefs. I don't want his "package" out for every one to see"

I told her "I'll talk to him. But he is 15 and single. I don't remember you minding the pants I wore when we dated. Seems I didn't have to change the pants I wore until after we were married." (I was smiling the whole time)

She stuttered a bit and said "That's different! I don't want girls ogling my son's "stuff"..........LOL


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## CantBeJustMe

I agree with the mental "selection" process. I can see that.

Me personally, I always wonder about the conservatively dressed women, who seem attractive, but almost like they are TRYING To hide their looks and their body.

It always makes me think of one of my ex- girlfriends. She was in the financial industry. She dressed so boring I always called her "the Librarian". The first time I saw her naked I almost swallowed my tongue.


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## okeydokie

Therealbrighteyes said:


> My guess is your wife didn't believe your words since you were checking out others and you stopped complimenting her because of her dismissive eye rolls. :scratchhead:
> It sure hurt when my husband was checking out other womens butts and when I noticed he said "Oh but I like yours".
> Being an afterthought didn't feel good. I no longer view myself that way though. He behaves the way he does because he chooses to and I choose to define my worth devoid of what he thinks.


nah, i only had eyes for her for 20 years. but now, our issues have kinda made me not really care anymore. i dont think she dismissed my attention towards her because she thought i oogled other women, cause i didnt. she has major problems taking compliments, she has major problems seeing my loyalty and committment to her. i really am a one woman man.


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## Runs like Dog

Stir Crazy said:


> Well your location shows as "Redneckistan", so really what do you expect?


You've got a point there. Where I live people after a while resemble their minivans.


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## Jellybeans

SimplyAmorous said:


> Here is how my husband explained it ....
> 
> 1st he looks at the face, if that is not appealing, he doesn't look any further....then he automatically puts them into baskets >>> "Doable" ..."Maybe".... or *"ewwww NEVER".*


:rofl: at "ewwww NEVER."


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## Jellybeans

okeydokie said:


> do women not like being checked out? i venture a guess that it hurts a woman more if they are not checked out.


We like it as long as it's done in a tasteful manner. Some men make you feel dirty the way they leer. LOL.


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## nice777guy

Jellybeans said:


> Some men make you feel dirty the way they leer. LOL.


Is that a bad thing?


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## CantBeJustMe

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl: at "ewwww NEVER."


Actually he was being polite. The correct scale is:

- WOW!!! All day and twice on Sunday

- I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

- Depends on how horny I am

- 6 beers / 4 shots

- 12 beers / 8 shots

- Don't remember where the hell I was last night, but I'm going to CHEW my arm off so I don't have to wake up the thing laying next to me naked (AKA "The Coyote Ugly")


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## Stonewall

No I don't undress them. I look at the face first and hair second (I love beautiful semi long hair) eye makeup is next. Good eyeliner and smokey eye shadow is my preference. If she is smartly dressed next thing i look for is heels (taller the better). If all that is good I go about my business and think "shes a pretty woman"

Do I notice her body yes but I don't slobber over it or really key in on it. 

I once told my wife that if I didn't notice a good looking woman then I was of no use to her!


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## SimplyAmorous

Stonewall said:


> I once told my wife that if I didn't notice a good looking woman then I was of no use to her!


I feel the same way about my husband, that just means he has a pulse and a *healthy* sex drive.... if he quits noticing other beautiful women in his view, I know our sex life is likely heading towads the grave. I would likely start obsessing over his Test levels again. I Joke with him I want him to be a "dirty old man" till he hits dirt. Keeps 'em frisky anyway!


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## Mrs. T

chillymorn said:


> we always hear about the male fragile ego but I think womens egos are even more fragile.


No doubt.


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## I Know

SimplyAmorous said:


> I feel the same way about my husband, that just means he has a pulse and a *healthy* sex drive.... if he quits noticing other beautiful women in his view, I know our sex life is likely heading towads the grave. I would likely start obsessing over his Test levels again. I Joke with him I want him to be a "dirty old man" till he hits dirt. Keeps 'em frisky anyway!


So do I have this right SA, Notice the other women, just don't be embarrassingly obvious? 

You have it totally right, once the man stops noticing women, say goodbye to his sex drive.


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## bigdaddydaddy

You can acknowledge a woman's beauty without wanting to have sex with her. There are many women that I see that I find attractive; it doesn't mean that I would want to sleep with them and ruin my marriage and family.


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## LearningLifeQDay

29???...Can you say, "Midlife Crisis???" I know it's bad to monitor a person, especially your spouse, but monitor him (This is just a suggestion.). For him to actually come out and say that directly takes a lot of panache and is fairly gutsy. So, something triggered his outburst...Probably our good ol' friend Mr. Test O. Sterone. I hope the two of you can work through this amicably and honorably. 

Oh, yes, Jessica Alba is a 'Hottie.' Remember 'Dark Angel?'


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## RandomDude

My wife is very protective of me, especially with certain ethnics that she feels threatened by (she knows my tendencies), but as long as I don't flirt with them or allow them to rob my own desire for my wife she's cool with it.

It's just something you have to accept and understand about men.


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## confused55

I know that men, and my husband look at other women, and that is ok to a point.

Something I have noticed a couple of times lately when I am out at the mall with my husband.

He will look at a young girl in her early 20's, she notices and looks disgusted, then she looks at me and looks disgusted and then an "I feel sorry for you look". Then I feel like crap.

Husband is in his late 50's.


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## ATC529R

I think 

1st- she's hawt :smthumbup:
2nd did my wife see that
3rd can I get another look without her seeing 

and my wife does not really care if i look, nor do I if she looks.

it's when it's gawking and blatently disrespectful that it's an issue.

I think 90% of the people are WAAAY to hung up on it!!!!


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## aston

you have to accept that most men will undress a woman but it's not planned. It just happens. The assumption that a guy should never let his mind work in it's natural form is why issues happen. At least you know about it, and tell me you haven't done the same thing (never ever?).
Food for thought: Let a guy be himself around you and you have him forever, give him reason to feel judged and he will start hiding things from you.........ane we know how that usually ends.
Just roll with it...maybe start letting him know when you're undressing a guy in your head too.together, not asunder


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## Gabriel

Funny finding this thread. Recently when we were about to enter my son's parent/teacher conference, my wife said, "Try to keep it in your pants when you see his teacher. She's exactly your type."

And while, yes, she was my type, and she was attractive, it wasn't like, "OMG I WANT TO BANG HER". Maybe it's my age, but it takes a pretty dang extraordinary looking woman to make it difficult to hold back a second look. 

There are some guys that I've hung out with who really gawk at everything, even mildly attractive girls. For me, it takes a real stunner. But once she's that hot, yeah, I'm doing the same thing as the other guys are.


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## WyshIknew

Jellybeans said:


> Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?
> 
> 
> 
> I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
> 
> So... it's true?
> 
> There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
> 
> But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
> 
> Men...what's the word?




For me most of the time it's "Wow, she's pretty." And it's nice when you get a smile back if she notices you looking.

But on very rare occasions you get a mental image of some girl with her legs wrapped around you. I am a faithful man and when I get an image like that it's "Yikes, where did that come from!"


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## Caribbean Man

Gabriel said:


> And while, yes, she was my type, and she was attractive, it wasn't like, "OMG I WANT TO BANG HER". *Maybe it's my age, but it takes a pretty dang extraordinary looking woman to make it difficult to hold back a second look. *
> .


:iagree:

For me it takes an exceptionally beautiful woman to actually turn my head, or make me look twice.
Usually I walk very fast in public ,and my mind is always busy.
If I start mentally undressing women, I will get confused and loose focus.
In any event, I already know what's underneath the clothes.
Seen lots of that.


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## jaquen

Maybe I'm an oddball, but I don't typically have any kind of overwhelming desire to phuck random women in the street. If I see a woman I find beautiful, or sexy, I'll definitely look, and usually for more than a glance. And while sometimes I do undress her with my eyes, it's never been my MO to just want to pile drive every woman who walks by that I find hot.

I tend to only be sexually drive by women who I actually know, and have developed feelings for. Otherwise I'll look, but my mind doesn't typically go "there". Sometimes if I'm watching porn it will, but that's obviously because I'm already highly aroused and the sexual stimulation is so overt. Usually the women in my fantasies who I have sex with are some kind of variation of my wife, or some phantom female figures that I totally create in my mind from scratch.


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## unbelievable

What do I think? I used to just think they were hot. Now, I'd wonder what hidden deviousness lurks within her and what God-awful drama comes with the package. Takes all the fun out of looking at women.


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## SimplyAmorous

I Know said:


> So do I have this right SA, Notice the other women, just don't be embarrassingly obvious?
> 
> You have it totally right, once the man stops noticing women, say goodbye to his sex drive.


Absolutely ! I don't feel some women can understand me -because likely their men are TOO HORNY -eyes gouging out - heightened sexual fantasies overload... I wish mine was MORE horny with wilder fantasies, he is rather TAME... so yeah, his desire to LOOK....is a healthy sign to me.  We've talked about this ...he's explained it here  



> *Simplyamorous said*: Here is how he explained it ....
> 
> 1st he looks at the face, this will not sound nice but he says "if she is dog faced, no sense in going any further", then he automatically puts them into baskets >>> "Doable" ..."Maybe".... or "ewwww NEVER". He said IF there is a CHOICE in these matters, it would be to LOOK AWAY immediately, but he admitted he doesn't want to do that, "it is no fun". Then here is his next mental thoughts within seconds "I love my wife, STD's, I love my kids , STD's" and that is the end of the fleeting fantasy.



Now if he showed more attention to others and NOT me, I'd clobber him ... I can't even think of a time where I felt this way from his actions though. 



> *aston said*: Food for thought: Let a guy be himself around you and you have him forever, give him reason to feel judged and he will start hiding things from you.........and we know how that usually ends.
> Just roll with it...maybe start letting him know when you're undressing a guy in your head too.together, not asunder


 THIS is pretty much how we are with each other - this type of open expressive freedom . 



> Gabriel said: Funny finding this thread. Recently when we were about to enter my son's parent/teacher conference, my wife said, "Try to keep it in your pants when you see his teacher. She's exactly your type."


I could easily say something like this to my husband - I KNOW his type too... he's never been one to "get it out of his pants" for anyone but me- so I'd hardly be jealous over a little fantasy dancing in his head.


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## roostr

I wouldnt say I undress a pretty woman, I do kind of get mesmerized but I keep the looking respectable. I dont stare and look them up and down enough to make them feel uncomfortable, but I cant help looking. I do see some guys get carried away and they look like idiots imo.


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## tonynw

you can look but you cant touch. we are men and we are human. but a real man knows what is really important to him and he wouldnt changed that for the world.


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## Benevolence

If I see a woman that is "too attractive" I usually look away lol 

The school boy in me comes out and shyness takes over, so in order to not blush like I am 12... I just look away 

Also as I age I no longer find younger women as interesting as someone closer to my age. 

Sure I may look at a younger woman and think she is pretty but the ones that usually have the WOW factor (for me) are in the 35+ age group.


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## SimplyAmorous

tonynw said:


> you can look but you cant touch. we are men and we are human. but a real man knows what is really important to him and he wouldnt changed that for the world.


I like what you say here.... your words speak to the heart of it.... 


__
Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18
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## NoWhere

Benevolence said:


> If I see a woman that is "too attractive" I usually look away lol


 I do the same thing. I think a lot of women don't understand that the average male thinks of sex a lot and is immediately attracted to curvy attractive women. It does sort of mesmerize us to an extent. Most men however try and be respectful and not stare or gaze, but if they tell you they aren't immediately tempted to look they are either lying or need to go get a testosterone shot.

I would see a husband gazing at a attractive women simply as him being a healthy male. Nothing sinister or creepy about it unless they stare for too long.

I purposely look away myself because I just got a divorce and it has been awhile. The last thing i want to think about is anything related to sex.

Have to agree about the 35+ thing for women. Older classy women can be hot! Maybe its the whole self confidence thing many older women have.


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## jaquen

NoWhere said:


> Have to agree about the 35+ thing for women. Older classy women can be hot! Maybe its the whole self confidence thing many older women have.


I am very attracted to older women. It's been that way for as long as I can remember. I met my first girlfriend right before I turned 18, and she was in her mid 20's at the time. I use to fantasize about meeting, and falling for, women decades older than me. I'm actually very surprised that I ended up married to a woman my age (as is she). I think younger women can be pretty, sexy, lovely, gorgeous, and so on, but I don't think most women come into real beauty (or at least my perception of real beauty) until they're older.


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## heartsbeating

Jellybeans said:


> We like it as long as it's done in a tasteful manner. Some men make you feel dirty the way they leer. LOL.


Walking home after a work-out, I was wearing yoga/running pants (the thicker non-see-through type lol) with a sweater. Nothing special. Waiting to cross at the intersection, looked to the cars to see how long I had before crossing and I noticed the men driving as they passed me by fully turned their necks to look my way. Eyes on the road fellas! That type of gawking did not feel good to me. 

I got home and hubs eyed me up and commented how great I looked.....now that I liked


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## SpinDaddy

Benevolence said:


> . . . .Sure I may look at a younger woman and think she is pretty but the ones that usually have the WOW factor (for me) are in the 35+ age group.


True, true.


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## SpinDaddy

heartsbeating said:


> . . . . Eyes on the road fellas! That type of gawking did not feel good to me. . . .


So it’d be like walking through the 4th Ward in Houston, TX USA with a $100 bill taped to your forehead?


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## oldgeezer

Jellybeans said:


> But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
> 
> Men...what's the word?


There is no "word". Nor string of words. What goes through the mind is NOT verbal. I doubt that even once a month does anyone stir something enough to be "verbal". 

The "verbal" part... I'd say the first level is "Oh my!" Something a little above THAT would be stumbling across the Playmate of the Month buck naked in my easy chair. 

I don't stare, I never look twice at someone unless they look like someone I know. Do I notice if someone's highly attractive... Yeah. Do I give it any thought? Almost never. 

And no, no playmate has ever been found waiting for me naked. Or clothed... or in my house. Or in my town. or even knows I exist, or that my town exists, and some may not know my state exists. 

When I was much younger, in my teens and early 20's, I did look. But when I joined a committed relationship I decided that was disrespecting to my wife and don't. 

I would have extreme difficulty keeping this true, at say, a nude beach full of great physical specimens of the female gender. And I never expect to have the experience. If it was a bunch of old, chubby women, I'd have no trouble not looking. I'd work very hard at avoiding it.


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## gemjo

I can honestly say, I never really noticed my H looking too long at any female, ever.....in twenty years, but it didn't stop him having 3 ONS!

So as much as he loved me and held my hand, and had his hand lovingly on my back doing the shopping etc....him never looking at OW, didn't mean sh1t!

And for all of you who believe your spouse never was unfaithful.....wake up, they maybe were!

Hate to wake you up.....you just didn't find out yet!


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## aston

tobio said:


> I can accept the look. What bugs me is the prolonged gaze or the look-then-look-again. That's just rude!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes we always look, it's the prolonged oogling that becomes obnoxious.


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## NoWhere

aston said:


> Yes we always look, it's the prolonged oogling that becomes obnoxious.


 Thats why I take pictures 


J/K


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