# Considering getting a divorce



## afflicted90 (Dec 14, 2011)

I have been married to my husband for five years now and it has become very challenging, everything seems to be such a struggle and I am coming to the point where all I want is OUT. My husband is a good person but he cannot relate emotionally to me, we do not have a connection. At the beginning of our relationship I was probably impressed with him, the way he treated me, gifts and flowers, and now that I look in retrospective maybe that blurred my judgement a little bit and didn't realize how deeply troubled my husband is. He is a liar, lies all the time about the smallest things and puts himself in a position where he is the hero. He is sneaky, to the point where he even hides food he eats. He is self absorbed and is unable to have a conversation with me, whenever I start by saying something about me or anything else all I get is an AHA, sometimes I've been interrupted and then he changes topics without any respect as to what I was saying, the conversation always has to revolve around HIM (as the hero), his family or his best friend. When I cook, he eats all the food without any regard as to whether if the rest of the people in the house have eaten or not. He is extremely inconsiderate. Before I would put up with it, but lately it is extremely frustrating. He is not affectionate, hasn't kissed me in over a year now and sex is very far and between and not good. I want him to leave, but in the other hand I love him, he is a good father and a good provider. To top it off, we recently have moved because of his job and I have no friends and he is not very social, so no outings of any type, to put an example, if we were recently looking for floor samples for our room and he asked me if I was going on my own car....it hurts me so much, I don't know what to believe, is he cheating on me, or what? Needless to say, the gifts and flowers have stopped, when I ask him something (as simple as probably grocery shopping) he rolls his eyes, and when he gets upset he pouts and makes stupid comments like only a teenager would. Thank you for the advice and sorry for all the words, but I am frustrated and don't know what to do.


----------



## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

At least try marriage counseling before you throw in the towel. A good marriage counselor (so I've been told) will even recommend divorce if it's the best outcome.

You can at least hold your head up and say that you tried.


----------



## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

It seems he is working are you. Was he always like this I mean telling lies. I am not sure why you cant cook enough. I get the feeling that you are not that different to him in many ways. You really have to start with yourself.


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Gosh afflicted I'm so sorry your going through this... your H sound's like a littleboy in long pants.
There's a lot going on here isn't there..more than just the lying.
I would also encourage MC or IC if H won't join you.
You deserve better than this.


----------

