# I could write a book



## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

Been married just over a year-and-a-half, been together off and on for about 7 years. I've made my share of mistakes, when we were dating. I just wanna know what's the best way to know if I should just call it quits? Argue on average twice a week (I hate arguing). I often feel like I'm at my limit. Past issues keep resurfacing. I'm not to be trusted, I'm liar and a cheater.. why would you marry someone who you feel that way about(and its your suggestion, and according to them that was supposed to prove something)!


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

Did you lie and cheat?


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

^
This


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## CuriousBlue (Oct 7, 2016)

Please say your situation more. I don't understand what you are getting at. Should you leave? Its not clear what the last part of your post means. 

I'd like to comment but not sure what you are asking or stating. please explain more so everyone can help;.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Off the limited information given....my guess is you lied and cheated before you were married, your betrothed wanted to be the bigger person and prove their love by marrying you anyway. The reality is they never forgave you, you will live under a shadow of suspicion forever while married to this person. Your spouse doesn't trust you and you resent your spouse for not trusting you.

I see no upside in this relationship, only regrets.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

He has a thread in the 'Introduce Yourself' forum. Yes, he cheated while dating. She has abandonment issues.

OP, your wife may not be able to get over the cheating. Abandonment issues are very hard to deal with. Read up on the issue and see if this is something you want to deal with for the rest of your life. Good luck.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Looking2Change said:


> Did you lie and cheat?


This, cheaters are usually sick and tired or being held accountable


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## TriednTired (Sep 9, 2016)

Looking2Change said:


> Did you lie and cheat?


Unfortunately, yes I lied about cheating. I know, I know... I'm bad person... however why continue to be with someone who you feel will continue to do this... I married her to prove I can be committed and that I did love and want to be with her.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

TriednTired said:


> Been married just over a year-and-a-half, been together off and on for about 7 years. I've made my share of mistakes, when we were dating. I just wanna know what's the best way to know if I should just call it quits? Argue on average twice a week (I hate arguing). I often feel like I'm at my limit. Past issues keep resurfacing. I'm not to be trusted, I'm liar and a cheater.. why would you marry someone who you feel that way about(and its your suggestion, and according to them that was supposed to prove something)!


*Regardless of the fact that one may lie, cheat, steal, or are conversely devoutly faithful or whatever, they have to know when it's time to cut their losses! Love was never intended to be that way!

After all, keeping one's sanity is an all too precious commodity!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

TriednTired said:


> Unfortunately, yes I lied about cheating. I know, I know... I'm bad person... however why continue to be with someone who you feel will continue to do this... I married her to prove I can be committed and that I did love and want to be with her.


So instead of working thru the issue and regaining trust you two figured getting married would just sweep it under the rug and you would forget about it? Bad bad idea! I'm guessing she has never forgiven you and is now resentful she married you. The relationship can only be repaired thru communication and learned trust, and that takes time and effort. Getting married doesn't fix things, and please don't have kids together if you can't resolve your issues, that also won't fix anything.


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