# Question to the Laies who have had an affair



## Justadude (Aug 6, 2012)

My wife is currently having an affair, and I'm struggling with the whole thing naturally. But I was wondering, about the female's point of view, and experience...here's an article about the lies men tell their mistresses...what have you that have gone there experienced?


Lies Married Men Tell You | BeyondJane


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## Justadude (Aug 6, 2012)

Sorry, this is probably a terrible thing to ask...but do you know if any of your girlfriends had affairs, and if they heard these lies?


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I have not ever had an affair but I do know of single girls who have been with married men, don't think that counts as the same thing though, or girls who cheated on their boyfriends and the lies are pretty much the same things that men say.


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## bahbahsheep (Sep 6, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


I have had women who tried to initiate a lesbian affair with me

I have to say they approach it very differently than men
Men tend to see sexual intercourse as their end game but women are much more emotionally oriented, ie they are aiming to achieve sone sort of emotional satisfaction in the affair and sex really is more or less of a by product during the process


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## sexy (Jul 29, 2012)

Wow!
You sure have a lot on your plate. Sorry to hear what you're going through. I have not actually had an affair or cheated on my H, but I have gotten closer than I should have. It's true what they say: Men and women really can't be just friends- particularly really attractive people (don't flame me--Just an opinion).
I was/am a SAHM and after my 2nd daughter's birth about three years after, I started working out and losing some weight. Well my H didn't really pay that much attention to it, but my really attractive next door neighbor sure did!! He was younger than me (34,I was 38), and CUT OUT OF STONE! But he also had no job, lived with his live-in GF on HER paycheck, and didn't really seem that interested in getting a job to support his gf. I've seen these type of men in bars, at college, around, you know the type- just around long enough for a good lay, then off to their next conquest. My neighbor really reminded me of an attractive 15-year-old kid! He was funny, cute, sexy, and paid some SERIOUS attention to me!!! Now as a SAHM I really admit, I liked the male attention. I was NOT looking to sleep with him or cheat on my H but I have to admit, if the circumstances were right, I don't know how strong I could have been. This all came about very innocently, He would come over to "borrow" something while my H and his GF were at work, and I was at home watching my kids. He would say things like: "You're looking really good! You're losing a lot of weight. Where do you work out, maybe we could work out together."
He also came over to borrow a Vice clamp to work on his bike one day. he asked me if we had a vice, and I told him I didn't know, I would call my H and ask.
"Hi sweetheart, listen do you have a vice?"
"I drink a little too much, but I don't know if that's what you mean."
 "NO, I mean like a clamp."
"You mean like a tool?"
"Yeah. Here."
Then I gave my neighbor the phone, and he asked,"Yeah, do you got a vice?"
"S----?"
"Yeah well, who ELSE would be here during the day, IN YOUR HOUSE, ALONE with your WIFE?" 
"Oh LORD Help me! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT TO MY HUSBAND? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF APPROPRIATENESS?" 
Well, he would come over from time to time during the day, and I just kind of blew it off. One day he told me again how I was losing weight. He said "YOU look Good!"
For some STUPID REASON that I just CAN'T explain, I said, "Yeah, you should have seen me when I was 20. I worked out all the time then! I didn't have and ounce of body fat on me."
"Yeah, I bet A----- really liked THAT!"
"A---- was in the military then. He never saw me then."
Then he said,"If I was dating you, I would never let you leave the bedroom. I would've strapped you to the bed, and never let you out of bed!"
Now, WHO TALKS TO THEIR NEIGHBOR'S WIFE THIS WAY? Yet, I just pretended I didn't hear it and I ignored it. I did find this guy attractive, but I wasn't interested in cheating on my H. My H was my first love. My high school BF. He has done more for me than any other person in the world! (whole Other story)
Another time he came over, I was taking a bath and my 3 yo daughter was in her room taking a nap. Suddenly I heard the front door slam shut, and I got up and threw a towel around myself just knowing that my 3yo had escaped! I headed down the hall in my towel, and I heard my daughter and the voice of another person.
"Is someone there?"
"Yeah L-----. It's me, S-----. I just needed to borrow somethin.'"
"O.K. I just got out of the shower, Let me get changed."
He had gone down the hall and stood right in front of my partially cracked bedroom door and saw EVERYTHING! I never knew.
Then one day my H asked me to go over to their house for something or another. I told him that I didn't think that was a good idea since S---- seems to leer at me all the time. But he insisted, so I went!
My neighbor invited me in and told me, "You have a REALLY nice BODY. You got REALLY GREAT BREASTS! When my sister takes off her bra, her boobs are way down to the floor. YOURS aren't LIKE THAT!" 
THEN he asks me, "CAN I SEE 'em?"
I told him no and left. Then, another day, you guessed it, he came by to see if he could borrow a flashlight! He and his gf were MOVING! WELL naturally I didn't mind helping him in this endeavor! I got the flashlight and went next door with him to bring it bask. All my kiddos were in school or daycare, so off I went.
When we got back, he told me that he and his gf were really going to miss us. I told him we would miss them too. then he said to me, " If you knew you would never get caught, would you ever cheat on A-----?"
I told him, "No, I could never LIVE with MYSELF! I would just have to put a bullet through my head because I would never be able to look myself in a mirror again."
Then He asked, "If Mr. Right came along one day, and you were still married to A-----, would you still STAY with him?"
I told him, "S----, Mr. Right already HAS COME ALONG. I sleep with him EVERY NIGHT!"
Then S----- asked me, "What if A------ brought a friend home with him? Wouldn't you like to have 2 MEN?"
That's when I finally got the picture. I'm REALLY SLOW that way! I mad up an excuse. I told him I really needed to go because I had to pick up my daughter from daycare. I told him I would talk to him later. I never saw that flashlight again!:rofl:
Well he and his gf finally moved and that's the last I saw of him. I'll admit, I could have actually done something I would deeply regret and my H would never be the wiser, So I don't believe that women get into a situation planning for it to turn out that way, because I came REALLY CLOSE to falling into a trap! I was emotionally vulnerable, and I really liked hearing the good reviews he gave me about my weight loss, and we were alone during those times. Only because I have a 5-10 foot rule did that not happen. If someone other than my H or my Ds come closer than 5-10 feet of me I start moving away. That's TOO close! But some people may not recognize a problem until it's too late! Women are emotionally vulnerable creatures and we can be like putty in men's hands if we are not getting the attention we need from our Hs. Thankfully nothing happened with me and S-------, but it easily could have turned out differently!
Talk to your W.
Ask her about what she gets from this interaction. She owes you an answer at the very minimum.

I hope things work out for and if she can't or won't stop, Keep moving. You are better than that!


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