# Is there hope for us?



## outdoorgrl (May 23, 2013)

I'm in a lesbian relationship and have problem with my wife. She is grossed out at giving oral sex, although is perfectly content to receive to. 

She said it wasn't me, it was that way with all women, and she has a strong sense of smell and can't do it. 

Other than this, our sex life is great, but I'm wondering if I can spend the rest of my life without having her go down on me. It makes me so sad, as for me, giving to her makes me feel so close to her.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

You say she is your wife, so this is nothing new. Don't think you can really complain if you didn't address this issue before getting married? Not being obnoxious but I have never heard of a lesbian that didn't like oral sex. I was under the impression that this was pretty important in a lesbian relationship.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

selfish lover ......dump her!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Other than that??? Hello, what else is there? A lesbian who doesn't give oral? Unbelievable.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Sorry for what you are going through - I'm in a similar situation but with a man.

Women are lesbians because they fall in love with women. It's not because they have an overwhelming desire to give cunnalingus. (To those saying this is unbelievable.)


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## outdoorgrl (May 23, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> Sorry for what you are going through - I'm in a similar situation but with a man.
> 
> Women are lesbians because they fall in love with women. It's not because they have an overwhelming desire to give cunnalingus. (To those saying this is unbelievable.)


thank you! I was starting to feel I was the dumb one for even entering this relationship!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

The first time a woman goes down on a man, she isn't generally thinking "Oh my goodness I just can't wait to get that in my mouth!" She does it because somewhere along the lines she came to understand it is expected. Eventually, the barriers break down and get replaced with the overwhelming erotic feeling and how very much her partner loves it!

Let your wife know you would like her to try it a few times. Start in the shower, maybe that will help? if she loves you, she will grow to love the eroticism of turning you into a quivering mass of jelly!


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> The first time a woman goes down on a man, she isn't generally thinking "Oh my goodness I just can't wait to get that in my mouth!" She does it because somewhere along the lines she came to understand it is expected. Eventually, the barriers break down and get replaced with the overwhelming erotic feeling and how very much her partner loves it!
> 
> Let your wife know you would like her to try it a few times. Start in the shower, maybe that will help? if she loves you, she will grow to love the eroticism of turning you into a quivering mass of jelly!


Yes I agree with this and while she is doing it really accentuate your movements and sounds of pleasure. Over act. The more you seem to like it the quicker her barrier will fall if she truly loves you.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Has she tried any tricks to change what she is smelling, like maybe a bit of essential oil near her nose?


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## Faiora (Apr 20, 2013)

outdoorgrl said:


> I'm in a lesbian relationship and have problem with my wife. She is grossed out at giving oral sex, although is perfectly content to receive to.
> 
> She said it wasn't me, it was that way with all women, and she has a strong sense of smell and can't do it.
> 
> Other than this, our sex life is great, but I'm wondering if I can spend the rest of my life without having her go down on me. It makes me so sad, as for me, giving to her makes me feel so close to her.


1) "Grossed out" doesn't necessarily mean this is a hard limit/boundary for your wife; so you can work on this. If you've just showered, there should be no smell at all. Even if a smell or flavour does exist while fresh, it can be overcome by some mild flavoured lube. I think your SO should be willing to try a few things instead of just saying it grosses her out. Discuss it with her. 

2) If it's something she just wouldn't do, ever, for some reason, then you might have to learn to be okay with it. You can't expect something from your SO that they have boundaries about. Some people aren't okay with anal sex - it's a hard limit for them. I think no matter what someone is truly not okay with, you need to respect that. 

3) There's more to sex than oral, even between women. Get some strap-ons, vibes, and other toys. Pick them out together, try them on each other, and talk about what works and what doesn't. You've got the semi-unique benefit of being able to try something on yourself, and try to replicate the feeling on your partner.  Even if I was with a woman, I don't think oral would be a necessity. There's sooooooooo much stuff to try. Explore together!


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## belleoftheball (May 16, 2013)

Well first of all to your question. I am not a lesbian, but I do not discriminate. However just the thought of going down on a woman grosses me out. I have never figured that one out, because I love giving oral to my hubs. The thoughts of going down on a woman though is different. The smells, sights, and so on just gross me out, but that is just me. That is just my own personal opinion of it. It may sound like a double standard but that is the way of it for me.

Now to your wife. She obviously was a lesbian when you two got married or else she would not have married you. If that really is an issue, than she should have discussed it before you two got married or something. She sounds like she is being totally selfish. I myself would not put up with it. Both partners in a marriage need pleasure in the bedroom and not just one. I would tell her this and try MC and maybe get some books to read. You know something has to give on her part for it to work. 

I had more to say, but have now forgotten what I was going to say. I am getting sleepy. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck and I hope your wife understands you have needs as well.


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

I picture her with a "No Diving" symbol on her T-shirt.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

eyuop said:


> I picture her with a "No Diving" symbol on her T-shirt.


But the back of the tee shirt has to say:

"Shallow Waters"


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## Princess Puffin'stuff (Mar 8, 2013)

Ah, we ***** call your wife's type the Pillow Princess. There are also lesbians who prefer only to give oral and never receive. Too bad she isn't with one of those. 

She's going to have to learn to give what you need, one way or another. Otherwise, this sort of incompatibility is going to become a major issue as time goes by.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Other than that??? Hello, what else is there? A lesbian who doesn't give oral? Unbelievable.


fingers
dildos/strap ons


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

have you tried taking a bath or shower and getting real "clean" before she goes down on you?


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