# I AM THE BAD GUY... nOT MY HUSNBAND



## wishingiwouldhavestayed (Jun 25, 2012)

My husband and I were having problems. I decided to go home and visit family. While I was home, I ran into my highschool boyfriend. We hooked up and my husband found out. Will he ever really forgive me. We have never talked about it. He just says he wants to put it behind him. But that makes me wonder has he done something he wants to hide from me or he feels guilty about.


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

He's probably hurt and upset and not really wanting to be vulnerable with you right now. I don't think you should jump to conclusions that he is guilty of something, just because you are guilty of something and just because he didn't respond the way you would have expected him to do. You've grossly disrespected him and your marriage. I strongly recommend that you get yourselves into marriage counseling ASAP. You know you screwed up, now try to fix it if you can.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And you won't fix it by sweeping things under the rug. The issues in your marriage, as well as the affair, need to be dealt with.

C


----------



## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

I agree with PBear.

It is probably hurting him a great deal to talk about it now, but do not let this slip. You cheated and you are not off the hook. He's going to want to talk about it at some point (be it in a few days, weeks or maybe months) - but you have to earn his trust back and focus all your energy into your marriage.

As for your question on whether he'll forgive you or not... that's entirely up to him. Again, focus all your energy on your marriage. If you need marriage counselling, get it. 

I wish you and your H the best and hope you both get through this!


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

PBear said:


> And you won't fix it by sweeping things under the rug. The issues in your marriage, as well as the affair, need to be dealt with.
> 
> C


:iagree:


----------



## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

wishingiwouldhavestayed said:


> But that makes me wonder has he done something he wants to hide from me or he feels guilty about.


So you'd feel better if you had the goods on him too? This is a very selfish/childish way to look at it. Worry about what you did wrong and your own guilt instead of trying to project it on him. If he did something wrong, let him deal with his guilt.

And if neither of you feels real guilt for cheating, then you probably shouldn't be married in my opinion.


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I think you're wrong to assume his lack of confrentation on your cheating could be because he has something to hide.

You'd be surprised how some of the hardest men out there can (and have - yes me included) tuned into puddles of teary eyed goop when faced with a cheater.


----------

