# Need Advise



## Marsman239 (Oct 23, 2015)

Well I guess I found this forum by necessity. A friend of my wife's told me she is having an affair with another one of our friends. I travel a lot and this is a possibility since those two have been friends for a while. I have read what everyone here said re the 180. All signs lead to this being correct and I am devastated and do not know where to turn. All text and FB messages always erased and they do too much together when I am not home. But I need proof. I have read the forums here on what to do, but my wife is an IT professional and I am afraid that jailbreaking her iPhone will be readily apparent to her and those I have looked at that do not need jailbreak need access to iCloud account and if I sign into hers it will send her an email. Also, she only use chrome books which I understand cannot accept a key logger. Since I am gone for good periods I am afraid a VAR might be discovered. Any suggestions other than hiring a private detective?


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

If you think something is going on in your house you might try a motion activated video camera ? Some look like alarm clocks, tissue holders, etc. Video with sound is solid evidence


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Would the friend be able to provide you with any evidence?


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## Marsman239 (Oct 23, 2015)

Will check out the camera thing but doubt in house as we have young kids. No evidence as it was told to me by an anonymous text. So maybe nothing going on..... Will keep my eyes open.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Stage another going away for work that would involve leaving a weekend. GPS on her car. Follow.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

GPS on her car and a Private Investigator will get you all the answers you need in just a few short days.

Don't drag this out for weeks/months in agony... "Is she? Is she not?"

Just bite the bullet, hire the PI, and you'll have your answer in very short order.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> GPS on her car and a Private Investigator will get you all the answers you need in just a few short days.
> 
> Don't drag this out for weeks/months in agony... "Is she? Is she not?"
> 
> Just bite the bullet, hire the PI, and you'll have your answer in very short order.


^ This. Also, did your friend tell you how they knew about the affair?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Marsman239 said:


> Well I guess I found this forum by necessity. A friend of my wife's told me she is having an affair with another one of our friends. I travel a lot and this is a possibility since those two have been friends for a while.


Astronaut going to Mars? :wink2:

I'm an airline captain, and unfortunately this kind of thing is common in the industry. Wives will play at home while the husband is away. And it can be very difficult to detect because you're not there every day.

Chances are if someone went to the trouble to send you the text then it is true. But it may not be, so do your investigation but don't go off the deep end yet.

You're stuck with limitations, but maybe not as many as you are thinking. Jailbreaking the iPhone may or may not be possible. Definitely do research on that one, don't just assume she'll know you did it. The iCloud angle is excellent for you to grab data, but you will for sure need access to all of her devices and emails she has linked to the appleid. If you add your iPad, for example, Apple will send a text to her phone, a message to her laptop/desktop, and emails to any accounts linked. If you do have full access to these devices and emails you still run the risk she has a secret second iPhone or a secret email she has linked. I would wait to link to her iCloud, but keep it in mind for later on.

For now, the VAR in her car is your best bet. Use good strong velcro to attach it under a seat or the dashboard. Put it where she won't bump it or feel it by accident if she drops something on the floor and feels around for it. Get a good SONY brand VAR, and put in top notch batteries. Learn how to operate it before installing it. Make sure if there is a speaker that it is deactivated. Cut a wire to it, or put in an earbud plug with the wires cut off. Turn everything to silent and no vibrate.

A VAR in the bedroom might be worthwhile. She may talk on the phone in bed when you're gone. Strong velcro on the back of her nightstand, or behind/under somewhere else where she isn't likely to look or poke around.

Search her car completely. Even the spare tire compartment, and every other cubby or pocket. You're looking for a secret phone, condoms, event tickets, hotel keycard, cig butts or other debris not from her. I know several men who've found their wife's panties under the front seat. Look for receipts from places not normal to her routine (gas station, restaurant, etc).

Review the phone records as far back as you can. You're looking for a change in texting, or any particular number which comes up frequently, or calls/texts at unusual times. Look for texts shortly after you leave for a trip, which could be to tell her posom the coast is clear.

Review the credit card and debit card statements for any odd purchases. Gifts, lingerie you haven't benefited from, restaurants, hotels, etc.

Carefully search her dresser, night stand, and closet. Go through pockets and shoes. You're looking for souvenirs such as hotel key cards, drink stirrers, gifts, cards, etc., condoms, sexy underwear she never wears at home, a secret phone, or love notes. A burner phone will be easy for her to grab but not easy to see, like in a pocket of an old jacket she never wears, or inside a pair of boots she never wears, or hidden in her car.

There are VARs and video cameras which look like ordinary USB thumb drives or a regular pen. There are keyloggers which are little thumbdrive sized gismos which attach to the back of a computer and then you plug in the keyboard. If she doesn't turn around the computer to look, she'd never know it is there.

Some wi-fi routers can be configured to capture all websites she visits.

You can easily GPS her car. Be sure the device is very securely attached.

Give her a false time for the start or end of a trip, so you can observe her or surprise her coming home early.

Hire a PI. Not cheap but certainly effective.

Think about ways to possibly surveil the other man. Just be careful and stay legal.

If you find anything, don't confront your wife or posom! Confronting too early or in the wrong way will completely torpedo your ability to get the real truth. Come back here first.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

If you have access to her email accounts, look in the sent and the deleted folders. Even if she's deleted messages on one device they may still exist on others. There may be backup files if she uses a backup hard drive, for example. Or if she uses an online cloud backup system such as carbonite you might find stuff there. The Apple time machine could be a real treasure trove as it has incremental backups.

If you can get access to her Facebook and other social media, get on there and poke around. You may find strings of messages on Facebook, for example.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Your best bet would be a PI. It would be expensive but almost every BS who has come to TAM, and told us how they used a PI to get the dirt on their WS, has, to a person, said it was the best investment they ever made.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Can you reply to the anonymous text? Perhaps the person on the other end would be willing to give you more data.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

If she is IT then phone and keyloggers are higher risk.
Vars done correct are much lower risk.
Need the known logistics to advise better.
Not names but example. Major ne us city. Boss. Hospital. Meeting for nooners at notell motel. She Drives a 1963 split window corvette. Uses an iphone 37. I do/dont have her apple id and password.


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