# Separated and filed



## Tangerine D (Sep 4, 2017)

Hi All, Looking for some direction, I will try keep this short as possible.
We have been married 3 years, We separated after 2 years (my stupid errors, I tend to chat to my ex's and other girls, via text)
My wife became enraged at my texts (quite rightly so) and moved out, she moved 5 mins drive from her job, our home is 45 mins from her job.
She rented a house and its been a year she has been there, now the strange part.....
She works 6 days on, 8 off, on the 8 off she will come home, we go on nice vacations, have fun, when she returns to work, she will stay in her rented house.
5 weeks ago, I got so upset and mad , I blurted out "I'm not in love with you anymore" she got upset and left.

The next day, she returned to get personal belongings, and we got into a huge fight, I pushed her out the house, and locked the door, she then broke a bedroom window and came in the house with one of her family members, I ended up calling the Police.... eventually, all simmered down.

Next day, she wants to know why I'm acting strange and not in love with her... (I actually am very much in love with her) (male ego/stupidity, I guess)

I basically tell her we have been going south for a long time and we are over....
She doesn't fight, texts me the next day and says shes filed for divorce, I think she's joking, (we have no contact for 4 weeks) I then get served with papers..

I then tried to call, I'm blocked, Facebook blocked, message blocked..... etc etc, I finally email her, I get a call from her attorney... do not contact your wife..

OMG, Ive made a huge mistake, I do love her, we have had ups/downs, but nothing as major as pending divorce...

Finally,(4 days later) unblocked on emails, we chat and I email telling her I'm a fool, facebook unblocked, and now cellphone texts unblocked....
I went to see her, 2 hrs talking, I poured my heart, we cried, hugged, but was met with, "you hurt me, so I'm not sure if I want to stay married"

SO!!!! How do I get back on track??? I do love her very much,, but her family and few friends pressurizing her to go through with the divorce, I sent her family a very nice email apologizing my stupid behavour and basically they want nothing to do with me.
She is still unsure, basically saying she cannot trust me, (I HAVE NEVER CHEATED) but she says texting other girls IS...
I recently found out she is on a dating website, (knife in my heart) I joined the site just to see, yes, she on there, I asked her WTF!! she says "whats wrong with chatting with the opposite sex???? basically "you can do it, so can I" 

Lost in limbo!!


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

1. Why do you text your old girl Friends?

2.did you ever sugest she move back home? Or you moving in with her close to work? Do you work?

3. Maybe you should seek medical help with your mental issues idk you sound very unstable.


Have you always acted this way ...flying off the handle saying hurtful things ?

Call a dr and get into some therapy for this unstable behaivor then call her and tell her your getting help for how you act because you realise its not healthy.

I THINK YOUR WIFE ACTED APPROPIATLY .


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## Tangerine D (Sep 4, 2017)

chillymorn69 said:


> 1. Why do you text your old girl friends? I guess i stay friends with a lot of people.
> 
> 2.did you ever sugest she move back home? Or you moving in with her close to work? Do you work? Asked her plenty of times to come home, she says its easier to stay close to work, yes, i work.
> 
> ...


 thanks.....


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Hmm, 1st time ever.

Most people draw the line with staying in close contact with ex's espically texting them. 

What got you so upset and mad that you said those things in the first place?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Tangerine D said:


> Hi All, Looking for some direction, I will try keep this short as possible.
> We have been married 3 years, We separated after 2 years (my stupid errors, I tend to chat to my ex's and other girls, via text)
> My wife became enraged at my texts (quite rightly so) and moved out, she moved 5 mins drive from her job, our home is 45 mins from her job.
> She rented a house and its been a year she has been there, now the strange part.....
> ...


1. your texting old girlfriends were not 'stupid errors' as you put it. they were willful and disrespectful of your wife and as a married man you had no business doing that. However you can continue to pretend to yourself by minimizing your behavior. You are not marriage material at all. You need to grow up and become a decent human being first, never mind a man. You minimize your awful behavior as your ego, being stupid, etc. No you knew exactly what you were doing and of course there are always consequences, well now you know. You treat someone like ****, expect some of it to return to you. Now you want her back after putting her through hell for years, you are really delusional and if she has any sense she will continue with the divorce and run for the hills as far from you as possible.
What on earth made you think you could treat her so badly and she would still be there? 
You are either a complete moron or mentally ill.

2. Your wife has hung on, hoping you would grow up but tbh she is giving you more chances than you deserve. I wish she would come online here and most of us would tell her to move on with her life and find a man worthy of her, not an immature clod who doesn't know what he has.
3. I have no empathy for you, instead of making things right from the beginning you just dug a deeper hole, telling her you didn't love her anymore, kicking her out of the house, calling the police,etc, how much more emotional abuse do you think she could take. You are a right piece of work!
4. I am surprised she didn't file for divorce or leave you much earlier and get on with her life.

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND, IT'S NOT NICE IS IT?


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