# need to let someone know



## justabloke (Oct 9, 2011)

Hi,

just passed our 15th wedding anniversary, with two kids 12 and 9. Just been told that my wife is seeing someone else.

I am totally gutted, I want nothing more than to hug and cuddle my wife, I love her and can forgive her. I have thought about what has gone wrong from my part and it is just complacency. We were too comfortable, we never really argued and had no real problems to solve in our marriage, I guess I became too comfortable and took my wife for granted. The kids,house and job took our time and we left no time for each other.

My wife never worked since our kids were born and she never really gelled as a housewife and probably got bored. Our neighbour got sick and she started to look after him. I let this ride, to give her space to be herself and now she is having an affair with his best friend. I wanted her to have her own time be herself so I never challenged her when she spent time with him. I am worried that this has gone one for too long that she won't come back. The man she is seeing is a waster, an alcoholic, jobless waster. But if she will come back I would have her back tomorrow. I don't want to "get on with my life" I want to make it work with my own wife.

Sorry it's so long.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Don't forgive her too easily and don't beg. It sounds like she left you. Is she living w him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justabloke (Oct 9, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Don't forgive her too easily and don't beg. It sounds like she left you. Is she living w him?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not living as such but spending more time with him than me, she has not moved out. I want to make it work........


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You might want to post over in the infidelity forum to get more ideas. Your first step in trying to "get her back" is to break up the affair. Make it unpleasant enough for both of them that it's no longer desireable. That may include exposure (to family, friends, co-workers), cutting off funds, and/or separating so she can understand where things will end up. You should likely start talking to a lawyer in your area, to understand what your rights and obligations are. Gather your financial information together first.

C


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Allow me to play the skeptic.

You want her back? Really? Someone you cant trust? Someone who prefers an "alcoholic, jobless waster" over you? Someone who's willing to throw all her kids' and your happiness, trust and love away for an "alcoholic, jobless waster"?

You'll never look or think about her the same anymore. Her adultery, betrayal and unfaithfulness will always be in your head.

May I suggest you take some time to adjust to your new reality before making any decisions.

In the meantime, start protecting your kids and yourself financially. Who knows how much of your assets she will pass on to the "alcoholic, jobless waster".

Read more here to see what a cheating spouse will do and say so that you are prepared for all her excuses.

Dont have sex with her now. If she gets pregnant, you may end up supporting the other man's child. That would suck big time.

Dont let her drag you down to her level.


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