# "Friend Zoned" on national TV



## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

This story was on my homepage. Wow, I feel for the guy. The anguish on his face and the way he asked her to talk about it "somewhere else". Then, they win a trip to Mexico! What torture. I'd tell her "single" ass that I'm finding someone else to take. I hope he dumps her. Talk about being emasculated in a horribly viral way. Ugh. My advice to him: don't be an orbiter, you can make a better deal!

'Let's Make a Deal' Contestant Friend-Zoned in Viral Clip | Time


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

You know... I really wondered if the whole thing was an act...

But if it wasn't - how do you "date" someone for six months - and not know that she thinks she is single, and you are just a friend? I mean REALLY?

Did they never have an adult discussion of what they were? Did he perhaps always "not hear her" just like he didn't want to hear her say he was just a friend? 

I don't know, I guess if he was a friend, and she knew he wanted more, she should have just cut him off. We all know you can't be "friends" when one party wants something more. No going on game shows together etc


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

If he was any further in the friend zone her mother would be adopting him.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

He was hoping. She knew the deal but hung around anyway feeding his hope. Then she crushed him for good. She didn't have to do it on TV. Especially the "I'm single guys, I'm single!" bit to rub his face in it. Classless chick, there is a reason she's single. I hope he learned his lesson.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Cromer said:


> He was hoping. She knew the deal but hung around anyway feeding his hope. Then she crushed him for good. She didn't have to do it on TV. Especially the "I'm single guys, I'm single!" bit to rub his face in it. Classless chick, there is a reason she's single. I hope he learned his lesson.


Yeah, the salt in the wound "I'm single every one" was a good indicator or her character.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Cromer said:


> He was hoping. *She knew the deal but hung around anyway feeding his hope.* Then she crushed him for good. She didn't have to do it on TV. Especially the "I'm single guys, I'm single!" bit to rub his face in it. Classless chick, there is a reason she's single. I hope he learned his lesson.


How do you know the bolded? Was there a story about this couple somewhere else to get these details?

Come on you guys, you don't know what has happened here. Why so sensitive about this? She clearly isn't into him, what is she supposed to do, marry him and then be a starfish?

You don't know what the dynamic here was. IN MOST CASES of a man who is friend zoned but doesn't know it yet, the woman HAS made it clear to him, he just doesn't want to see it and hopes she will change his mind.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

stillfightingforus said:


> Yeah, the salt in the wound "I'm single every one" was a good indicator or her character.


Or just a good indication that she resents this guy saying they've been together - implying "as a couple" - for 6 months, when she has likely had him friend zoned that entire time and probably has never kissed him. When you ARE single and someone claims to be in a relationship with you on national TV, why wouldn't you make it clear since the other person is completely off base here?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Weak men like him make me a little sick. How can he not know if his relationship is romantic or platonic after 6 months? Hopefully, this is a wakeup call so he can finally realize her true intentions are different than his and he stops pursuing her.

@Faithful Wife - I completely agree. I put the onus on him. He's the one that has accepted whatever the relationship terms are. There's no way he could not know it wasn't romantic in her eyes after 6 months of supposedly "dating".


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Frankly, she appears annoying.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

@faithfulwife I get your point, but it was the "Prom Edition" for couples on the show. She sure was comfortable hanging all over him during the clip. I don't hang onto my "friends" that way. There is, of course, an entire backstory here we don't know about. All the guy said to the question of how long you've been together was "about six months", then she took it away from there. Then rubbed his face in it bigtime. I don't blame her for him hopelessly and stupidly hanging around, and I don't blame him for her classless act. Maybe NOW he'll get it and move on, it's just unfortunate that it had to be so public.

I wonder whose idea it was between them to do the couples thing on the show anyway?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

C'mon you guys....why do you have to blame everything on the evil intentions of women?

Men like this will "be your friend" yet the whole time they are just angling to get into your life/heart/pants. They aren't actually your friend but they pretend to be that just to get more. 

Believe it or not, women actually believe the guy knows they are friends in most of these scenarios because the guy actually pretends to sincerely be your friend. They are being dishonest with you and themselves. At some point they push the envelope a little bit, so you have the conversation with them "oh wow, gee, I didn't realize you were hoping for more, um no, I don't feel the same way...can we still be friends?" to which the guy will hide his intentions STILL and agree to remain friends....the whole time still just intending on wearing you down somehow and ultimately in their fantasies, one day you will look at them and exclaim "wow I've loved you all this time and you were right here in front of me!" 

It is sleazy and underhanded to pretend to be someone's friend when you aren't their friend at all. It is dishonest and unmanly. And yet, all of you guys are just so sure that this woman must be a huge selfish skank. Really?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I love it when Wayne Brady says "you're going to have a blast"...and i am thinking...one of you are I see the other one getting drunk and crying trying to get into the room while she is in there with another guy.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Cromer said:


> @faithfulwife I get your point, but it was the "Prom Edition" for couples on the show. She sure was comfortable hanging all over him during the clip. I don't hang onto my "friends" that way. There is, of course, an entire backstory here we don't know about. All the guy said to the question of how long you've been together was "about six months", then she took it away from there. Then rubbed his face in it bigtime. I don't blame her for him hopelessly and stupidly hanging around, and I don't blame him for her classless act. Maybe NOW he'll get it and move on, it's just unfortunate that it had to be so public.
> 
> I wonder whose idea it was between them to do the couples thing on the show anyway?


She didn't rub his face in it, she made it CLEAR that she is a single person because this guy TRIED to make it clear that she was involved with him. If you give her the benefit of the doubt, don't you see why that was actually a violation to HER to claim they were in a relationship when they aren't on national TV?

Also, the Prom episode...who cares? I went to prom with platonic guy friends and even took a female friend as my date one year because neither of us had a boyfriend. The prom is not the end all be all romantic scenario for everyone. Most likely they would have gone on any episode they were invited to go on, they would have dressed up however they were told to. Farmer episode, robot episode, lumberjack episode, etc.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

Bananapeel said:


> Weak men like him make me a little sick. How can he not know if his relationship is romantic or platonic after 6 months? Hopefully, this is a wakeup call so he can finally realize her true intentions are different than his and he stops pursuing her.
> 
> @Faithful Wife - I completely agree. I put the onus on him. He's the one that has accepted whatever the relationship terms are. There's no way he could not know it wasn't romantic in her eyes after 6 months of supposedly "dating".


Keep in mind we don't know the whole story. We don't know what went on before, or what her definition of "very good friends" is while hanging all over him. Yes, he's a sap but she was brutal, and it will be out there forever. Hopefully, he blocked her number.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

What's the backstory on the episode? Is it supposed to be a romantic prom date or a platonic prom date? Both are common occurrences.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

Faithful Wife said:


> *C'mon you guys....why do you have to blame everything on the evil intentions of women?*
> 
> Men like this will "be your friend" yet the whole time they are just angling to get into your life/heart/pants. They aren't actually your friend but they pretend to be that just to get more.
> 
> ...


Purty much.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

He should have told her he would have sex with her but that friendship is a serious commitment and he’s not ready for that.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Weak guys like him make me sick. I agree with the TAM ladies on this one. 

Back when I was his age if a girl I was interested in wasn't putting out by the third date, I got the message and moved on. I never wasted my time being any chick's hanger-on, begging for scraps.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> Weak guys like him make me sick. I agree with the TAM ladies on this one.
> 
> Back when I was his age if a girl I was interested in wasn't putting out by the third date, I got the message and moved on. I never wasted my time being any chick's hanger-on, begging for scraps.


I guess what I'm getting at if she really was his "really good friend", she could've handled it with more aplomb and saved him a forever viral embarrassment. But, what you all are saying is that he deserved it. We see it differently. I do agree he's a sap. I've always done my best not to embarrass my good friends. She's not a "really good friend" after all. The least she could do was not hang all over him while doing it. Again, I don't hang all over my friends that way.

I've always held empathy for people who are publicly embarrassed. I'm weak.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Cromer said:


> bandit.45 said:
> 
> 
> > Weak guys like him make me sick. I agree with the TAM ladies on this one.
> ...


When Wayne asked how long they have been together and the guy said 6 months...then she’s like no we are just good friends...THEN he’s like can we talk about this, not in front of everyone? Well why did he say they were together for 6 months when he clearly knew there was “something to talk about” regarding this? He’s the one who put it out there and they had already likely had the talk where she had made clear she doesn’t want him as more than a friend? To me he obviously knows they are not a couple like that and should have not said they were to begin with. What was she supposed to do at that point, just pretend they are a couple anyway? Seriously, how would you answer if you had told a female friend you were not interested in more and she took this opportunity to say on national TV that you are a couple?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Cromer said:


> I guess what I'm getting at if she really was his "really good friend", she could've handled it with more aplomb and saved him a forever viral embarrassment. But, what you all are saying is that he deserved it. We see it differently. I do agree he's a sap. I've always done my best not to embarrass my good friends. She's not a "really good friend" after all. The least she could do was not hang all over him while doing it. Again, I don't hang all over my friends that way.
> 
> I've always held empathy for people who are publicly embarrassed. I'm weak.


Oh I don't think he deserved being dumped like that publicly. I agree she should have been more tactful. But kids these days don't understand tact.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

Faithful Wife said:


> When Wayne asked how long they have been together and the guy said 6 months...then she’s like no we are just good friends...THEN he’s like can we talk about this, not in front of everyone? Well why did he say they were together for 6 months when he clearly knew there was “something to talk about” regarding this? He’s the one who put it out there and they had already likely had the talk where she had made clear she doesn’t want him as more than a friend? To me he obviously knows they are not a couple like that and should have not said they were to begin with. What was she supposed to do at that point, just pretend they are a couple anyway? Seriously, how would you answer if you had told a female friend you were not interested in more and she took this opportunity to say on national TV that you are a couple?


I'm simply saying that she didn't have to be so brutal while hanging all over her "really good friend".

Of course, the women-folk are going to be all over this, hey she was empowered! She told him like it was and crushed him! He deserved it! He knew the deal! He should've kept his mouth shut! No one is entitled to anything, and the poor weak dude needs to be a forever viral joke! Down with the love-sick dude who doesn't get it! You go girl!!

Why is she still with him then if she knew he wanted more and she didn't? Why not just put the guy out of his misery long before now?

I thought it was brutal, she's not his "friend" at all, and I hope that he learned a very painful lesson. I'm not saying he is blameless at all. But neither is she, and if you can't see it so be it. She remains a classless chick who needlessly crushed her friend. Yet another reason why I will NEVER have good friends of the opposite sex. Too much drama.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Cromer said:


> Why is she still with him then if she knew he wanted more and she didn't?


Free meals, gifts, attention, praise, getting her ass kissed....


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I still remember being "friend zoned" in High School. So I was not very nice to her, instead of taking her home, just the two of us, I invited my buddies along, as they were fairly hammered, and suggestable. Get her in the car and the other four idiots on the backseat, when I yell out, who wants to burn farts? Watched this girl turn purple at our emissions.

Best part? she could not make a big deal out of it as it would have ruined her social status. I was part of a few groups in high school, the stoners (naturally) and the hoods (smart jewish guy who smoked and hung with the tough guys, why? I got them through exams without them looking like idiots.-let them copy or crammed with them until they knew it-hey, one of those former hoods is now a very successful stockbroker-and has been my client for most of his adult life). By the time she exited, she was really not in the best of moods, she was in a less happy state the next day, when I explained that she basically pissed on me the night before to her best GF, and GF and I hooked up pretty quickly, and remained that way through the summer. This GF actually went to the same uni as me, my ex? Gave it the old community college try.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

I am STILL not convinced that all of this was not a publicity stunt. 

But if it weren't... . do you really believe that this guy thought that they were a couple? That she had led him to believe that she as in fact his girlfriend, and that he was blind sided by being "dumped" on national TV?

I read the body language very differently. He didn't seem that shocked by her answer, I would say more upset that she didn't play along with his little game. "Talk about this later"? Again, I am only guessing, but I am guessing this is not the first time they have talked about this.

I get it, being rejected sucks.... and maybe some men feel... what? Better? Empowered by punishing women who reject them sexually? 

Hell - there is even a song on the radio right now about dudes who won't listen when she says "we are only FRIENDS". There are some guys who really won't take the hint. 

https://genius.com/Marshmello-and-anne-marie-friends-lyrics


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Cromer said:


> I'm simply saying that she didn't have to be so brutal while hanging all over her "really good friend".
> 
> Of course, the women-folk are going to be all over this, *hey she was empowered! She told him like it was and crushed him! He deserved it! He knew the deal! He should've kept his mouth shut! No one is entitled to anything, and the poor weak dude needs to be a forever viral joke! Down with the love-sick dude who doesn't get it! You go girl!!*
> 
> ...


All I am doing is not making assumptions that lead to thinking what you said in the bolded above.

She was taken off guard completely when Wayne asked the guy how long they had been together and he answered. Then she responded authentically, with no pre-meditation. She had no way to understand this would become a viral thing (frankly, I have no clue why it is one) and did not speak knowing she would crush him in the way you and others are looking at it. The media is the one who is crushing the guy by spreading it and calling it brutal. No one has said she was "empowered" (doesn't even have anything to do with this scenario if she is or isn't empowered), nor do I think she is cruel-ly trying to smash him. She is defending herself from the statement he made. The rest played itself out but she had no way of knowing it would go that way.

Neither am I saying the guy deserved any of this, I think the viral nature of this one is perplexing and weird (why would others enjoy watching this over and over?)

My feelings about this are colored by having a guy friend - - who knew I was in a relationship and pursued me "just as friends" which was made clear several times - - go literally psycho on me and a friend of mine (telling her all about how he is in love with me and was trying to win me out over my boyfriend all the time we had been hanging out). I told him this was seriously horrible, as he had only pretended to be my friend when he knew he was in love with me and trying to angle something more out of this, and that I never wanted to speak to him again. After that he emailed several more times, more confessions of love, more rambling nonsense, sent roses, mailed a package to my home....and in the last one he asked if we could still be friends. Ugh. I sent a final email telling him to stop and he did finally. So that was that, however and I haven't heard from him since. I don't hold his insanity against other guys who are friends with me or other women, I just know the weird side to this from the woman's side, too. I'm not some sad victim, the whole thing was just unfortunate on my end, I feel sad for the guy in my story because he's clearly out of his mind and I doubt he will ever get and mental health help. I would never humiliate him and have never told others in our community that this happened.

I have empathy for both of these young people. They were put on the spot and now it's this big deal in the world and they are being judged for something we know nothing about, really. I bet she has already received hate mail and death threats.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Good grief everyone. It's a TV show. People are told to act out on these shows to up their ratings. What you see in that clip is not reality.


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## stro (Feb 7, 2018)

I saw this clip a few days ago. Seemed staged. Kinda like that marriage proposal at an NBA when the girl says no and runs off the court. Staged.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2018/04/30/how-to-recover-from-a-brutally-public-friendzoning/


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Seems staged to me. Even if it isn’t you don’t have to be in the friend zone if you don’t want to be. You can’t force a person to feel more for you than they do, but you also are under no obligation to be thier “friend”either.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Cromer said:


> I'm simply saying that she didn't have to be so brutal while hanging all over her "really good friend".


I am almost tempted to actually watch an internet video despite my hatred of them just to see what hanging all over looks like.

ETA: Holy crispy crap! THAT is "hanging all over"??


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

LoL, I am actually getting a kick out of the posts throwing shade at the girl. C'mon...I'm not saying she is all that but look at them. Even if he was the last man on earth he couldn't get that. I know that sounds mean, but that doesn't make it not true.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I thought he did a very good Sonny Bono impression. It looked like an act to me.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Cromer said:


> This story was on my homepage. Wow, I feel for the guy. The anguish on his face and the way he asked her to talk about it "somewhere else". Then, they win a trip to Mexico! What torture. I'd tell her "single" ass that I'm finding someone else to take. I hope he dumps her. Talk about being emasculated in a horribly viral way. Ugh. My advice to him: don't be an orbiter, you can make a better deal!
> 
> 'Let's Make a Deal' Contestant Friend-Zoned in Viral Clip | Time


*All that I can say is that she would have been taking a damned cab back home from the Game Show, had I been him!

And I would have been busy quickly finding myself somebody else to accompany me on my trip!*


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I'm also with the ladies on this one. This is the kind of loser who would, idk, rent a van and run over people on the sidewalk maybe? Join some woman hating group because his little plan to sneak his way into her pants by pretending to be her best friend didn't work out. Its the "nice guys" that get all bent out of shape about friend zone. "I'm a nice guy and I treat women right, but women just want jerks" meanwhile they are only nice because they want to bang them. Then they get all bent out of shape when being nice to a girl doesn't automatically get you in their pants. Oh yeah you really are a "nice guy" with that attitude.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm also with the ladies on this one. This is the kind of loser who would, idk, rent a van and run over people on the sidewalk maybe? Join some woman hating group because his little plan to sneak his way into her pants by pretending to be her best friend didn't work out. Its the "nice guys" that get all bent out of shape about friend zone. "I'm a nice guy and I treat women right, but women just want jerks" meanwhile they are only nice because they want to bang them. Then they get all bent out of shape when being nice to a girl doesn't automatically get you in their pants. Oh yeah you really are a "nice guy" with that attitude.


Most guys just don't attract women to the extent that those women to want to drop their panties on the first date. I definitely don't. I can count on two hands the number of ex-girlfriends who started out by pursuing me. 

Women are attracted to bad boys for sex, because they don't give a sh*t about what those players think of them. They use those guys for fun and sexual release. When it comes to finding a husband, they look for the exact opposite of bad boys. Women look for good boys with college degrees and fat bank accounts...guys who will make stable fathers. They do not put out for them because they have to control the illusion that hey are good, wholesome girls who will make proper, monogamous wives. 

It sucks, but that is the way it is. So what we guys have to do is find out how to be a balance between bad boy and good guy. That's the trick.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Probably wasn't even real. 

Say what you want when you intend on dating a girl. Say very clearly pretty early on that you want to date her, if she says yes good, if not move on. Problem solved.

The whole thing can be summed up in two words. Be assertive.


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