# Totally devistated



## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

My husband divorced me to remarry overseas and have a baby and then leave them. I was in a car accident and cant have a baby, but even if I could he said he doesnt want a baby here. Is he nuts? And he wanted to stay with me until we die. I changed the locks, but now I am devistated. What do I do?
We had a very happy marriage, no arguements ever. Then all of a sudden he told me this and before I knew what happened we were divorced in 2 Weeks!


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

Has anyone heard of this craziness before?


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I have not. How did you get divorced that fast? I thought it took time. Even splitting the assets. Did he leave you everything?


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

How the heck can that happen?


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

They called it a simplified divorce, that we kept our assets private and already agreed how they were split. And yes, he signed a quit claim to me for the house and took his name off the bank account. But I miss him so much. But how could I agree to what he wanted to do? He told me I would understand over time. But I only seem to get more upset.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

divorcedin2wks said:


> They called it a simplified divorce, that we kept our assets private and already agreed how they were split. And yes, he signed a quit claim to me for the house and took his name off the bank account. But I miss him so much. But how could I agree to what he wanted to do? He told me I would understand over time. But I only seem to get more upset.


Yea sounds like he went nutty some time. That would not have gotten better. It would get worse so you really have no choice.


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

I just need to know how to get through this. I cant eat or sleep. Half of me wants him back, and the other half wants to burn him at the stake. I am still out on disability so I sit at home and cry and shake.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

divorcedin2wks said:


> I just need to know how to get through this. I cant eat or sleep. Half of me wants him back, and the other half wants to burn him at the stake. I am still out on disability so I sit at home and cry and shake.


Do you have someone you can talk to? A religious leader, a counselor, etc?

C


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

No, that's why I am here. This situation makes no sense to me.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

I'm sorry this happened. Sometimes life can seem so illogical.

I can only speculate that your ex-husband has a problem with parenting a child in the society you live in. 

From what I understand in your posts, he gave up all his financial rights, so it's safe to say he did not have any intentions of using you or hurting you (although divorce hurts a lot).

He may have fallen in love with someone else and pushed for a quick divorce in order to not feel guilty.

I'm sure there's more to the story than you've typed. When you calm down and feel a bit better, please go into more details about the events the preceded the divorce.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

People are fickle.

That's pretty much what it comes down to.

For those who say marriage is a greater level of commitment and is "safer", I invite them to this thread.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> For those who say marriage is a greater level of commitment and is "safer", I invite them to this thread.


It used to be. When there was an incentive in staying married instead of just walking away.

These days it seems like both marriage and divorce have become a form of business.

Although in this particular case, there's bound to be more to the story than posted.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

synthetic said:


> Although in this particular case, there's bound to be more to the story than posted.


Ya think???


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

The point is he cheated. People who are cheating can do all kinds of crazy stuff. My estranged husband went completely nuts, and we lost everything. At least, if there is a bright side to all of this, it's that the assets didn't get squandered. How long had you and the husband been married? I hate to say this, but it's going to take time to heal.

Is your disability temporary? Hope you get well soon. I've been out on disability since 2009. Thankfully I never have a boring moment. I do what I can for others, and have plenty of hobbies/interest. If it's possible, try to get out and find things to do. You really need to get your mind off the divorce. Also, counseling may be helpful. I never could have gotten through my nightmare without my therapist, minister, and family.

Hang in there! TAM is here for you.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> The point is he cheated.


Not according to the original post. 

She said he divorced in 2 weeks and then went overseas. Technically he didn't cheat.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

synthetic said:


> Not according to the original post.
> 
> She said he divorced in 2 weeks and then went overseas. Technically he didn't cheat.


Maybe not. I guess I was reading between the lines. My apologies if this isn't the case.



> My husband divorced me to remarry overseas and have a baby and then leave them.


That's confusing. Why get married overseas, have a baby, and then leave that family. OP will have to clarify that. I was assuming he had met someone overseas already. Otherwise how does he know he will be getting married. Anyway, his behavior suggest he is in the infamous "fog".


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

Thanks to all. But he was not cheating and never had. We were married 5 years. Love of my life. The auto accident I had made me have spinal surgery on my neck and lower back. So when I got home from surgery I could hardly walk. Looked like I aged 20 years. So on a follow up appt with Dr, we saw all the screws & hardware in my neck and back on the xray. So, the next day he decided he was getting old, and wanted a baby to carry on his name. When we married, he did not want children, said he had enough neices and nephews. 
I tried to talk to him about IVF or a surrogate, that way it would still be his. But he said I would not be able to care for the child since I can not pick up anything heavy. He said I was the best wife he could ever have and wanted to stay with me. But he needed a child. 
He is still wearing his wedding ring and has not asked for his clothes or anything of his. It has been a week now, and I just can not understand this. He actually thought I would. 
I have checked a lot of postings and have seen nothing like this.
Help me, please, to all of you out there.


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

What's the 'fog'? And he hasnt left yet. But as fast as all this happened, I am assuming it will be soon. He has family overseas, and sometimes they arrange marriages. Their way of thinking is the wife takes care of the children no matter what. But how could he do this to another woman? Much less how he devistated me? How could he think I would understand?


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## divorcedin2wks (Aug 22, 2012)

That is left the country. I tried doing pros and cons, keep or move on. Keep, I do need him to just be here. And help me do things. I need my best freind back. He was very good and honest with me. Love of my life. He worked at what ever job he could and didnt complain all the time. He helped work on the house. Yeah, we bought a fixer upper in Jan. 
Cons, how can I look at him? He stole my best freind and killed my husband (kind of how I look at it). I cant ever trust anyone again.
So this is my delema. 
He has no idea what he might be getting himself into, of course I think the worst.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry. That is really heartbreaking. Apparently your marriage vows weren't sacred to him--In sickness and in health. If he is really that heartless, he doesn't deserve you. It is really bizarre behavior nonetheless. 

Hope your injuries and broken heart heal soon.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

your ex sounds batsh!t crazy.

I know that doesn't seem helpful but from an objective point of view he sounds like he's full of all kinds o crazy and dragging you down there with him.


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