# I've got a question/problem Re: marriage



## kittycat03 (Jul 15, 2011)

here it goes,
Lets say hubby came home from work and found wife sitting on the bed fresh from shower, still slightly wet, wearing nothing but a towel. She is rubbing lotion on legs arms etc.  The kids are older and otherwise occupied. Wife has already expressed boredom/dissatisfaction in certain aspects of the marriage:sleeping:. What would most normal hubby's do?:scratchhead:


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Depends on what wife has trained him to do


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

They would have sex with you.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

"Normal" hubbies from this forum might be to ask _"What have you been doing -- and is he still here or has he left?"_ 

Kidding; of course most normal men would seize the opportunity to _at least_ discuss a sexual romp, if not jump all over it w/o any words whatsoever - and especially if wifey had previously expressed some dissatisfaction about bedroom activities. That assumes, however, that the previously discussed dissatisfactions were about volume/frequency of bedroom activity. if it were about quality, he _may_ be intimidated/fearing inadequacy and therefore very gun-shy, afraid of not meeting expectations...just sayin'...


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I think if you exchange the towel for some sexy lingerie under a house coat, you message would be clearer.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Depends on what wife has trained him to do


Haha! Nice. I am allowed to laugh at this, btw.

There is no "normal" husband, only what normal is to yours.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Honestly, if it was just after coming home from work, she would likely get a kiss, some teasing foreplay, and a comment like "See you back here at 10". Part of it might depend on the age of the kids and exactly how occupied, and this response would be based on my marriage to stbxw.

With my GF... She'd likely have friction burns from the towel coming off...

Conrad's response is exactly right, even if I laughed at it. If there's a history of rejection of his advances (and I'm not saying there is), a normal husband would likely say something like "How was your day, dear" before parking himself in front of the TV. My stbxw had me conditioned that sex happened on her schedule, which was always after the kids were in bed, even on days that I worked from home and the kids were safely in school. My GF has me conditioned that if we're awake, sex is ALWAYS on the table, and any initiation will be warmly received (althouh she initiates as often as I do). And I'm not even sure the awake thing is mandatory...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

PBear said:


> My GF has me conditioned that if we're awake, sex is ALWAYS on the table, and any initiation will be warmly received (althouh she initiates as often as I do). *And I'm not even sure the awake thing is mandatory...*


:rofl:


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

In all seriousness, there is a recurring theme in this forum.

Women who tired of the relentless pursuit when younger programmed their men to not need them.

When they hit their sexual peak and/or their prime?

They wish they hadn't done that.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Wonder which major appliance needs replacement.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

stritle said:


> yuppers


The best part is that it would be from her taking the towel off...

C


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## kittycat03 (Jul 15, 2011)

Thank you all for the responses.
Rejection is not a prob. Not that I never say no. but for the most part I am game. Kids are 11 and 15. 11yr old was at a friends. Yes 15 yr old was around but our door locks and they have been taught to knock. Prior discussion were not about performance, but "I am getting kind of bored" type of discussions. As far as him just getting home from work, I did not expect marathon sex. I even offered up a relaxing massage. His response...get dressed and come here let me hold you?!(I am not saying cuddling is bad). Then snoring. By normal, I meant the most typical scenario in this case. Like another poster said. Even a discussion about sex, ask for a rain check or something. I got a your crazy look and get dressed so I can hold you while I sleep reaction. I guess I was expecting a different response. Thanks again.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Conrad is right. Communication between you and your spouse means only what you both have determined it will mean. Around my house, seeing my wife in a towel putting lotion on her legs only means she just got out of the shower and she's putting lotion on her legs. I see it basically every day and it never means sex.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> Conrad is right. Communication between you and your spouse means only what you both have determined it will mean. Around my house, seeing my wife in a towel putting lotion on her legs only means she just got out of the shower and she's putting lotion on her legs. I see it basically every day and it never means sex.


Yah same here. It means my skin is dry.


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## kittycat03 (Jul 15, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Conrad is right. Communication between you and your spouse means only what you both have determined it will mean. Around my house, seeing my wife in a towel putting lotion on her legs only means she just got out of the shower and she's putting lotion on her legs. I see it basically every day and it never means sex.


I see the point here, but it wasn't just rubbing lotion on legs and stuff. A person should know the difference between leave me alone as I get dressed and "lets go baby" especially after 13 yrs together


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## kittycat03 (Jul 15, 2011)

stritle said:


> same with my wife.
> can't pass up an opportunity though.


Can't pass up an opportunity....that is what I would have thought, but apparently not. I am not a slave driver or anything, but 1-2 times a week is getting somewhere. 3+ may be better yet.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

kittycat03 said:


> Can't pass up an opportunity....that is what I would have thought, but apparently not. I am not a slave driver or anything, but 1-2 times a week is getting somewhere. 3+ may be better yet.


It all depends on the guy... For many guys, they would have tried to make a pass. But for some guys, you could be on the bed watching porn and they wouldn't make a pass. Either just not interested, not caring, whatever. I personally don't understand that mindset, but I know it exists.

If you want sex more often, you may simply have to pursue it harder. MagnoliaGal has a number of posts about her struggle; do a search if you're interested. But apparently subtlety isn't going to work for you.

C


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

He isn't a man from a romance novel spinning you from the towel as you grasp your breast in fake attempt at modesty. Go kiss the man deeply. Leave the mind games to your 15 yr old and his/her friends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheTopChef (Oct 14, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> Yah same here. It means my skin is dry.


LOL, this is me as well. Although I will admit to be waiting in bed, totally naked, giving him a "come hither" look as he comes in the door. He got the message loud and clear.:smthumbup:


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Well, that would depend on whether or not my husband had already started his game of WOW before heading to the bedroom...


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Depends on what wife has trained him to do


I'm with MGirl I can laugh about this now. It's so true.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

kittycat03 said:


> Can't pass up an opportunity....that is what I would have thought, but apparently not. I am not a slave driver or anything, but 1-2 times a week is getting somewhere. 3+ may be better yet.


I will never get the whole x times per y time period thing. There are times when we don't have sex for a few weeks at a time. There are times we have sex 2 and 3 times a day for 3 weeks. If someone were to ask me how many times we have sex per week, I would have no idea. Not to mention the value of quality both of fun and closeness. I think the yardstick many people measure by is flawed.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

stritle said:


> maybe he doesn't take hints well
> 
> next time be "in position" on the bed and selectively add some whipped cream as he walks in.
> 
> ...


Can I say Catholic school girl outfit with tall heeled mary janes? Works for me every time. Most of the time before I am half in it.


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