# I hope I am infertile...?!



## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

Hi everyone,

Strange situation here and I'd really appreciate some input. Wife and I have been married for 2 years. We are a great team and we are still rockn'. 

Something has been bugging me lately. When we got married we both had the interest in having kids someday. My friend had a kid around the time we got married and after seeing and talking to my friend over the 2 years I am now totally turned off of the idea.

My wife and I have transparent communication. I told her this and she agrees...but here is the problem: I don't know how, but ever since I can remember there has been this bug in my head that has associated intimacy with unprotected sex. Perhaps because when I was young I watched a lot of filth but I have spent a lot of time meditating and talking to counselors to solve this problem, but to avail. Every time we have sex, no matter how hot and wild it is, I feel no connection to her. I still get off every time but I am getting really tired of condoms and my wife completely refuses to take birth control (including iud's and the shot). I'm not going to force her and give her an ultimatum nor will I get a vasectomy. I want to work this out and I need to get to the root of the problem. There is also a part of me that is disappointed every time we have sex...and I fantasize that she would forget to ask me to put a cover on or take a risk with me for once. She's also very unwilling to try the pull-out method. Perhaps a trust issue?

Anyways, I think I have found a crazy solution. Infertility. Can anyone give me tips of healthy things I can eat or little things I can do to reduce or kill my sperm count? I don't ever want kids and I don't want the surgery simply out of fear that it would reduce sensitivity down there, as I read that this has occurred with many men.

Crazy question so I expect crazy answers. Perhaps more a question for my doctor but I am dead serious non the less.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Condoms to me are a total buzz kill so I get that part and I'm a woman.

No idea how to decrease fertility enough to feel safe.

I wish there was a pill for men.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

short of a vasectomy, i don't see a foolproof way. What are your reasons for not wanting vasectomy, other than ouch? I have heard (maybe someone else can confirm) that the procedure can be reversed if performed by snipping rather than removing a section of the vas. That may be an option if you're afraid of changing your mind later down the road?


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

Your wife is being selfish for not going on the pill.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Yeah, that's not going to happen. And it totally might be that you will feel the same re: intimacy that you do now. I don't know that the problem is as simple as a condom.

Will she use an IUD and a fertility tracker? There are so many apps for smartphones and I know many couples who both use them to plan sex and avoid pregnancy. 

Or you could get the mumps or take chemo - those cause male infertility.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Seems drastic. How old are you? What did your friend tell you that bothered you so much?

How reliable is your friend's opinion and how relevant is it to your situation? Is his marriage like yours? Is there a problem with his wife or the baby? Is he immature?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

The "trust issues" you mention often lead to unwanted pregnancies, something you both agree on isn't right for you. Has nothing to do with trust, or lack thereof.

High sperm count is often a by product of being healthy. You can try to reduce yours by smoking, being dehydrated... I doubt you can reduce your sperm count to zero in a healthy way without medical intervention. Even if you reduce it significantly, it only takes one.

So neither of you wants a child but at the same time neither of you wants to be responsible for b/c. How do you feel about abstinence?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

NewHubs said:


> Your wife is being selfish for not going on the pill.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are kidding me, right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anja (Mar 12, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> You are kidding me, right?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't. You're feeding the fire.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

She said when we get a house we can stop using them but it still sucks in the meantime. I'm playing the waiting game. I honestly envy couples who have been trying to have kids for 5years+ with no success. Sure it sounds crazy, but with my luck the one time we do it without a cover I will knock her up. Lol.

My "friend" is extremely sensitive and remembers the feeling I had with the past girlfriend (she had ovarian issues or w/e). It sucks when all of your married friends are doing it too.

I'm pretty selfish and for me to tell her that would be like calling the kettle black. I'm working on it, but she doesn't really get the apples are not oranges sort of thing.

I'm in my early 20's and she is 30. No she won't use an IUD and yeah I don't want to smoke and hurt my own health just to reduce my s count. 

Honestly we just don't want kids. I can give you a million reasons but we just don't want the responsibility.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"...nor will I get a vasectomy."

Why not? If you don't want to have kids, do the one thing that will make damn sure you don't.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

I guess I'd like to hear fom other men before doing something like that. I really don't want my sensitivity to be affected. Plus it is very expensive.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

If you don't want kids, get snipped. Problem solved.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

NewHubs said:


> Your wife is being selfish for not going on the pill.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Uh, what? :scratchhead:

The pill has a lot of bad side effects that women shouldn't be risking their personal health for. That's not being selfish, that's being smart. There are many better options. 

Vasectomies can be reversed easily. There are little valves they can insert in there, which can be flipped on or off. Put up with a tiny bit of discomfort; it's better than wearing rubbers. And if you decide to have kids later, it's not nearly the same procedure to turn them back on. Read up on it, dude. 

This is 2013. Think if it was the 70s what were your option? Even the pill was experimental back then (still should be IMHO). Man up, don't worry about a little snip and pain for an afternoon, and get past this fast. The sooner the better.

ETA: It has nothing to do with your sensitivity.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> Anyways, I think I have found a crazy solution. Infertility. Can anyone give me tips of healthy things I can eat or little things I can do to reduce or kill my sperm count? I don't ever want kids and I don't want the surgery simply out of fear that it would reduce sensitivity down there, as I read that this has occurred with many men.


Your mileage may vary. Vasectomy changing sensitivity is, from my viewpoint, mental, not physical. 

Or... you could wait to have sex until you're 75 and the little swimmers are all but dead?


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

I'm not worried about the pain, just the cost and future side effects. I have read that it lowers your sensitivity and I do not want that at all. Hence why I am here. Looking for alternatives that won't kill me. 

We just don't want the responsibility of kids. Plain and simple.

Abstinence is not possible.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

You really don't need to envy couples who are infertile. I was that couple. Sex is reduced to an act of desparation. I'm not going to enjoy this and you must ejaculate within me before 7 pm. Can we have sex tomorrow? No because daily reduces the sperm count. And if you don't get me pregnant I'm going to cry for three days every month.

Just say you envy childless couples. I have teenagers now - I envy childless couples. We have one next door. They get up at 10 on Saturday and make waffles in their chef grade kitchen.

You honestly don't know what you are talking about by wanting to be infertile.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> You really don't need to envy couples who are infertile. I was that couple. Sex is reduced to an act of desparation. I'm not going to enjoy this and you must ejaculate within me before 7 pm. Can we have sex tomorrow? No because daily reduces the sperm count. And if you don't get me pregnant I'm going to cry for three days every month.
> 
> Just say you envy childless couples. I have teenagers now - I envy childless couples. We have one next door. They get up at 10 on Saturday and make waffles in their chef grade kitchen.
> 
> You honestly don't know what you are talking about by wanting to be infertile.


Okay well I specifically envy couples who don't want kids and cannot have kids anyways, if that sounds any better.

I posted this thread looking for a quick win, perhaps a herb of sorts. Doesn't look like one exists and it looks like a vasectomy is the best bet. I know that if I told my wife about that she'd straight up say no though. I'm caught in a bind. There is a 3rd, stupid option that keeps popping in my head but I must do everything I can to say no to that, so anything else really helps folks.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

I just have to ask, what is this third stupid option?? 

By the way, I envy couples who can't get pregnant either. I have 4 kids and I love and adore them to death but there have been times I wished I had been infertile! Oh what I life I would have had then!! Anyway, I understand your predicament and understand your statement. Our of curiosity, why does your W refuse to do any form of birth control on her end?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> She's also very unwilling to try the pull-out method. Perhaps a trust issue?


I don't know, ask her.

Seems like the best choice. When done right the odds are in your favor. It's always been my method of choice, I've never experience unwanted pregnancies as a result.

Or just do it the hard way. Pull out, ejaculate on her face and say "Do you trust me NOW?"


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## MambaZee (Aug 6, 2013)

My H had a vasectomy 8 years ago. Until our last child, I was always the one responsible for birth control, and most of the time, I was on the Pill. I'm thrilled not to have to rely on those hormones anymore; the vas. was his idea because he didn't want me on the hormones. 

He only had a minor issue once, with some discomfort due to backup or something -- the solution was sex to clear everything out. Easy solution. Since then, no problems, and he's never said anything about a decrease in sensitivity.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I know I need to just walk away from this.

We do all understand that when you want children and cant have children you are infertile. 

When you don't want children that is a choice. There is no heartbreak and support groups and invasive tests and endless months of disappoinment and watching every dumbass in the world getting pregnant but not you.

When you decide you don't want children and make sure it doesn't happen that is voluntary. Sterile.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> I guess I'd like to hear fom other men before doing something like that. I really don't want my sensitivity to be affected. Plus it is very expensive.


What???!!!

It will not affect your sensitivity in the slightest (except to increase it when you don't cover  ) and it is not expensive in the USA./


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

So neither of you wants kids but neither of you wants to commit to a reliable form of birth control. That makes total sense. Good luck with that.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

more oral for everybody!problem solved.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Strange situation here and I'd really appreciate some input. Wife and I have been married for 2 years. We are a great team and we are still rockn'.
> 
> ...


I'm about to sound like an old geezer...

You exemplify the tragedy of over indulged children who grow up and get bummed out because LIFE HAS CONSEQUENCES!

You watched a lot of porn and now associate bare back with true intimacy. Your wife read something stupid and now refuses all methods of birth control. You don't want kids but won't get a vasectomy. Your wife doesn't want kids and she's okay with you not getting a vasectomy.

So, here's my advice...

Grow Up!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Anon Pink said:


> I'm about to sound like an old geezer...
> 
> You exemplify the tragedy of over indulged children who grow up and get bummed out because LIFE HAS CONSEQUENCES!
> 
> ...


:rofl:


condoms are not fun. I still say more oral and welcome to parent hood. the pull out method dose not work.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

I am the result of the pull out method, just to let you know 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

I never said i'm not willing to get a vasectomy, I just need to think it over. It sounds like it's not so bad after all lol. That probably is my best bet. 

B/C pills are bad for you and I support her decision not to take them either. 

I've never been a fan of the pull out method. Ruins the fun imo. 

I won't mention the 3rd option as it's technically not an option for a "good marriage". And oo I forgot the 4th option! Repeat abortions! Just kidding, I have some limits with my crude humor hehehe. 

Thanks guys! It really helps!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I remember your other thread. Frankly, your problems are way deeper than birth control. I'll tell you in no uncertain terms that if you get snipped, she still won't want to have bareback sex with you. She's not that into you.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

If you think so man.

I'm bad at making it look worse then it really is. It's not that bad. 
I just have a bad habit of "not wearing the pants" and what happens is she ends up most decisions without any say from me. 

Maybe it's time to say no next condom run... if you want them, go get them and put it on yourself type of attitude. I don't know. I'm not a pushy guy by any means. 

I guess my new question is this. Do most couples treat the use of condoms differently after they are married? Why is it that in the past I met strangers and went bareback without even knowing them, yet with her, never even a slip-up? I don't understand all the resistance. Do most couples wear condoms on and off? Are are those that do nazi's about it?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> If you think so man.
> 
> I'm bad at making it look worse then it really is. It's not that bad.
> I just have a bad habit of "not wearing the pants" and what happens is she ends up most decisions without any say from me.
> ...


Ummm pregnancy? IDK maybe?

We used condoms for a few years when I went of BC before H got snipped, he was dragging his feet. The I got pregnant...AGAIN! He got snipped before the second trimester!


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Oh, man, I just had a flash back to Bram Stoker's _Dracula._ Ever read it? Anyway, a male character marries love of his life then wont have sex with her because he knows he has syphilis (nasty, disfiguring, even fatal in the 19th century). She pines for him, not knowing that he's holding back in the name of love.

I guess your story made me wonder if your wife is insisting on condoms for something other than birth control, which, naturally, led me to Dracula.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Oh for the love of God... to whomever asked what the "3rd option" was, he means cheating on her. He has already said, in his other thread(s) that this has been on his mind for a LONG time.

I'm gonna agree with WOM here... there is a HELL of a lot more going on than what you have posted here. I remember the threads. I remember the issues you had...seems you are still complaining about the same thing: she doesn't want to have unprotected sex because she doesn't want to risk pregancy. TBH... I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to take the risk either... not when you have admitted that you want to cheat on her.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Non-hormonal birth control includes the diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge, and spermicides. They aren't as effective as the pill or other hormonal options or the IUD, but they are as effective as condoms. 

None of the options are as effective as a vasectomy or tubal.

Click on the picture of each option here for more information:

Birth Control Chart

If you don't want children, stop wanting your wife to slip up and not ask you to use a condom. That's the slip up that will make you parents.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Use the natural planning rytham method. Then welcome a baby in 9-12 months.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I hear they sell pretty cool magic wands at Renaissance festivals...


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Strange situation here and I'd really appreciate some input. Wife and I have been married for 2 years. We are a great team and we are still rockn'.
> 
> ...


You guys are fighting primal instinct. I think intimate disconnect is the price carried with protected sex.


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

I found that abusing steroids turned me infertile for a little while. 

By the way, if you are considering an affair, let me ask you, do you honestly think NOT getting a vasectomy in place of an affair is a good idea? 

Besides all the negatives that go along with having an affair, imagine if you knock up the girl. You are not really taking away the risk of having an unplanned child when you have sex with someone else, you simply just take away the risk of having an unplanned child with your wife. 

The best bet you got is a vasectomy.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I think you should wait 5 yrs before deciding to get the vasectomy. People in their early 20's change over time and you may change your mind about having kids. 

Don't remember reading your other posts but, if things are not going well in your marriage, you may not be together in 5 yrs. Is it that you don't want kids at your present age and with your wife? When you are older and possibly with someone else, the idea of kids might be inviting. 

Your feeling of a disconnect with your wife may have nothing to do with the condoms. If you were happy with your relationship, do you think the condoms would bother you as much as it does now? Have you tried different types of condoms?

I hope you are kidding about lowing your sperm count. Herbal remedies carry considerable risk. Supose your sperm count went down along with your testosterone level?

You'd become a girly man. Find another solution.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

I like what ^^ said about fighting primal instinct. 

I guess I am getting impatient and I really have no right to be. I know it won't be too long now, but I am it's hard. And I never admitted to doing anything that would make her not trust me. I just don't like juggling porn on the side. It rots the mind and is easily addicting. Especially when you have 1080p. 

Vasectomy sounds nice maybe after 1-2 kids but the thought of it kind of scares me to be honest. Not ready for that. Not yet. I give it 30 tops. Plus she is older then me. 

I highly doubt she has any std's or anything to hide. At least I have never noticed any out breaks and things we've done to each other would have showed up as I do get my own tests every 1/2 a year.

Tried all sorts of condoms except lambskin (which I will next) but I still feel disconnected. 

What I can tell you my friends, is that when the day comes, if it comes, it will be glorious and well worth the wait. I guess I was just expecting that day to be right after marriage. I am a very physical lover, so it makes the world of difference to me.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'm curious, since it is so important to you...why didn't you get on the same page before marriage? Why not lay out your expectations then? Don't get me wrong, it's important to me too. I'd go without rather than use a bag. But this wasn't my problem.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Oh, I see. You don't really wish you were infertile so much as you would like for the one reason your wife has to insist on condoms to magically disappear. 

Your other thread 'I Hate Condoms' was more to the point.


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## 82hazel (Aug 25, 2013)

Well, since the OP said in another thread that he doesn't tie intimacy with sex, there really isn't help for this weird flip flop

And you think if you cheat you get to go bareback? What kind of STD hell are you looking for???

Get a freakin grip. Either man up and get snipped, see a MC to figure out WTH is wrong with you, or quit *****ing. Simple


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> We do all understand that when you want children and cant have children you are infertile.
> 
> When you decide you don't want children and make sure it doesn't happen that is voluntary. Sterile.


Not to threadjack, but since you are being exceptionally judgmental, just thought I would clarify this for you.

Sterility means you can never conceive/carry a child, for ANY reason.
Infertility is a reduced or lost ability to conceive/carry a child, again for ANY reason. 
Whether this was based on a choice (i.e. vasectomy, tubal) or a medical mishap has absolutely nothing to do with the terminology.

In other words, terminology does not change based on whether you want children or not.


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## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

I didn't read through the whole thread, so sorry if anything was said yet. If you are both healthy all contraception methods bar the risk of becoming pregnant. For your wife there is NFP (google for it). You can combine this method with everything you like to make it safer. Cervix caps are really offputting and the gel you use is not great unless you google for a home made recipe. As man you can use neem, once again google for it, the smell is disgusting. For your wife it seems the best natural thing is wild carrot seed, but you should combine it with NFP. There is information on the sister zeus site and Rose Bennet has a blog too. You can find the more natural methods as well in the forum of Susun Weed, it is more for women.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

NewHubs said:


> Your wife is being selfish for not going on the pill.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh you did not just go there.....did you????


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

82hazel said:


> Well, since the OP said in another thread that he doesn't tie intimacy with sex, there really isn't help for this weird flip flop
> 
> And you think if you cheat you get to go bareback? What kind of STD hell are you looking for???
> 
> Get a freakin grip. Either man up and get snipped, see a MC to figure out WTH is wrong with you, or quit *****ing. Simple


Honestly it's comments like this that deter me from posting on this forum again. So much assumption here. 

Things are very good and I'm just a baby. Impatient and stubborn and don't really know what to do when I have thoughts about seeing women on the side or watching porn. In the past I was never able to commit to one girl and don't want to make that same mistake with this girl. I've never met any men with high sex drives that have talked about it openly. I want to know what they did to control or if they simply couldn't and walked away, accepting their "condition". 

Believe it or not we did not discuss sex much if at all prior to marriage. Just didn't seem that important. To be a frank **** I absolutely love bb sex and would do everything around the house for it. I would clean and cook everything. I would clean her car. ANYTHING. I really don't think you guys understand how much I want this and yes I have expressed it to her. But I do now and I realize I should just wait like a good boy, constantly delete all of the porn on my computer when I find myself back "using". I just wish it was easier. Not all men have the same moral system...keep that in mind. 

All this advice about seeing counselors is valid but I am perfectly capable of doing this on my own. Things are epic between us, not like the **** marriage 90%+ ppl on this forum seem to have. I got my advice, move on folks and thanks.

I will try appletree's suggestions. That's really interesting! Thank you!


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> Believe it or not we did not discuss sex much if at all prior to marriage. Just didn't seem that important.


And there we go. So sex and birth control and your desire for bareback wasn't discussed at all prior to marriage and now it's a problem. Surprise.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

You can't have it all. You don't want kids, but you don't want to get a vasectomy and you don't want to use condoms. Well, I guess you have to decide which you want more than the other (condoms or kids). 

You're only in your early twenties so I wouldn't recommend getting a vasectomy. I know you don't think it's possible, but your feelings could change.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

MyHappyPlace said:


> Not to threadjack, but since you are being exceptionally judgmental, just thought I would clarify this for you.
> 
> Sterility means you can never conceive/carry a child, for ANY reason.
> Infertility is a reduced or lost ability to conceive/carry a child, again for ANY reason.
> ...


Oh, I stand corrected.

Yes, I am being judgmental and it is to the degree that the OP is being insensitive.

I've had 9 abdominal surgeries. I woke up from one at age 20 to the news that I would never have children. When my peers were partying in college I was having experiences like riding in the back of an ambulance while to EMT's packed my vag with gauze to keep me from bleeding out. Before I was ever sexually active I found myself having rough pelvic exams on a monthly basis and having dye shot up closed fallopian tubes. Every relationship I had reached a point where I had to tell a young man that I would not be able to have his children - does he want to progress the relationship or cut his losses now? 

And still all these years later I am reliving these experiences as I week by week meet with a therapist to discuss each in order and then wonder when I get home why I distrust my body to do what it is designed to do (like have an orgasm) and why I panic every time my husband gets below the waist line. 

Not just the OP but one other poster said they wished for this (infertility). Hey, I'm feeling pretty chubby today - I wish I had anorexia. Or, instead of making light of a heartbreaking condition I could be an adult and eat less. Go to the gym. 

However, I see I am having an emotional reaction to this discussion in the extreme and it's not the place for it. OP is half my age and isn't intending to be as insensitive as he is coming across TO ME. 

Go ahead and let me have it, correct my terminology - I shall let you have the last word. Instead of wishing I had arthritis in my fingers to prevent me from getting into tussles on internet forums I will be an adult and know I need to walk away from this topic because it is stirring me up.

Peace out.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Hippy, you claim that you are "perfectly capable of doing this on [your] own"...yet, here you are, asking for advice from people who are, for the most part, ill equipped to advise on this. Regarding the desire to have sex without condoms... you REALLY think we don't understand it?? Seriously? I was ECSTATIC after having my tubal ligation, after our last child was born, because I knew we would NEVER need condoms again. Yes, I was one who use BCP, but we also used condoms. After having weight loss surgery, we had to use TWO forms of birth control, and we were told right from the start that BCP were NOT anywhere near effective enough because I wouldn't absorb the amount needed anymore. So, condoms were a necessity.

I can't help you with the porn problem because we have never had that issue in our marriage... neither of us watches/looks at it. But regarding the mind wandering to cheating... how do you stop it? Think of something else. That really is the easiest way to stop it. Which is what we told you before...you just do. You love your wife? You want to remain married to her? Then just stop thinking about cheating. When your mind starts down that path, do something to change it.

Seriously, though, you obviously CANNOT do this alone. If you could, you wouldn't be having the problem, still. You really do NEED to find a counselor to help you work through this.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

Sorry to hear about that Scarlett. When I posted this thread my intention was not to hurt the feelings of othersr, but to try and demonstrate how I feel...which is trapped and impatient, feeling like I have few options but to resort to extreme solutions. 

I dated a girl who couldn't have kids. I experienced the feeling and cannot forget it. I need to wake up and realize that we aren't together anymore and if I really wanted to not have kids I should have stayed with her. 

I've taked to a lot of people about this. Everyone says to get out of it while I can but I don't want to, things are extremely good otherwise. I really want it to all work out. The one counselor I did talk to said that based on what she saw, she concluded that I might be one of those people that simply can't commit to one person and to try would have consequences. I felt a little discouraged and didn't bother seeing another counselor since.


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## 82hazel (Aug 25, 2013)

Scarlett...

I too have infertility issues. For YEARS as well. 

The OP is an immature jerk, who should probably NOT be married. Sorry, but it's true. 

He can get snipped and be done with this WHOLE thing. But it seems he wants his WIFE to bend over backwards to find a solution to please his needs of bb sex. WHEN in fact, he said in one post that he does NOT tie intimacy and sex together. So, why this post? All of a sudden NOW he thinks it's intimate? 

My guess is OP's wife doesn't trust him at all, which is another reason to deny bb sex with a spouse, besides BC.


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## 82hazel (Aug 25, 2013)

Wishing for infertility is immature, insensitive and irrational. 

He likes the way BB sex feels.....there are MANY things that feel good....doesn't mean they can be done at that time. Simple as waiting....


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

You're right it is immature, insensitive and irrational. 

I'd also like to express something. Reading through this forum, well, I don't know why, but I know for a fact...if my wife cheated on me, I would not be sad, disappointed, relieved or anything. Just indifferent, maybe curious. I might be mad if he came over and they slept in my bed and she didn't clean the bed sheets after and I slept on them...but that's it. My love for her is unconditional and I am an extremely unattached person overall. Does that mean anything?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> Does that mean anything?


It means that for a person who might commit themselves to you for a life of faithfulness and devotion, you're a bad gamble. Unless that other person feels the same way- and that's rather unlikely. Most people DO care.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

I just don't get it. If she had a random fling with someone wooptie do. But if she fell in love with another I think it would hurt me a bit. 

That's the problem. To me sex is just sex. There is no intimacy. It's animalistic. The intimate part is after, cuddling, but rarely during. Always been like that. As much as I try to find the root of that false belief I struggle. It's buried in memories from my childhood i'm sure.


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## 82hazel (Aug 25, 2013)

You lack many HUMAN emotions......

Personality disorder????? Probably


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

scatty said:


> Use the natural planning rytham method. Then welcome a baby in 9-12 months.


Have you met my 4 children?



My wife wouldn't take birth control either. I wouldn't wear a condom. The pull out method is good until that night you've had a few ****tails and forget. Either you get a vasectomy or she gets her tubes tied.


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## thatcleanhippyguy (May 17, 2013)

He he he. I'm fine...just a goofy gemini. What emotions, exactly, do you claim I lack? Just because I signed some papers and just because my wife made an oath to me does not mean she is mine. I don't own her. She is free to do as she pleases. She is completely free with me. I love her so much that it is unconditional. Not many people can love unconditionally you know. Good or bad is your own perception. I love everybody. I got into monogamy when I am all about polyamory. Lol. 

Nah I wouldn't make her tie her tubes. I'd get the V.

Thanks folks. All is good!


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## Idun (Jul 30, 2011)

sorry double post


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## Idun (Jul 30, 2011)

We've got 3 kids and don't want any more. Also hate condoms but don't want to resort to hormonal birth control. 

I'm so peeved that this The Revolutionary New Birth Control Method for Men | Wired Magazine | Wired.com isn't available yet, but hopefully soon? Perfect for monogamous couples.

Otherwise for now you could look into:


> If you decide to use a heat method, you can assess its effectiveness using a semen analysis which includes motility tests. You can expect each set of tests to cost as much as $275 at your local clinic. An over-the-counter semen analysis test, SpermCheck Vasectomy, is now available for home use for $35 plus shipping per test. SpermCheck Vasectomy is the only available over-the-counter sperm count kit that provides enough information to determine if a heat method is working or not.


MaleContraceptives.org -- How can I get them?

Heat method MaleContraceptives.org -- External heat

You can also sign up here to get updates on the male contraceptive injection http://www.newmalecontraception.org/vasalgel/


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## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

thatcleanhippyguy said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> Strange situation here and I'd really appreciate some input. Wife and I have been married for 2 years. We are a great team and we are still rockn'.
> 
> ...


The only sure way to make yourself sterile is to have a vasectomy. You can significantly lower your sperm count by going on exogenous testosterone (Testosterone replacement therapy). The second way is not 100% and is reversible.


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## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

BTW and this is just my honest opinion.... We are on this earth to make babies. Thats pretty much it.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

suspiciousOfPeople said:


> BTW and this is just my honest opinion.... We are on this earth to make babies. Thats pretty much it.


Google "overpopulation".


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> "...nor will I get a vasectomy."
> 
> Why not? If you don't want to have kids, do the one thing that will make damn sure you don't.


That was my question too. After I had my vasectomy, I had no questions or worries about getting her pregnant, and best of all, no condoms. It is SO much more enjoyable being inside a woman without a condom on. If you are SURE you never want kids, a vasectomy is the easiest way to go.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

OPTIONS

Condoms
Birth control
Vasectomy
Tubal
stop having sex

Those are really the only options -


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

suspiciousOfPeople said:


> BTW and this is just my honest opinion.... We are on this earth to make babies. Thats pretty much it.


Yup it's pretty simple. Condoms don't feel natural because they're not natural. Birth control doesn't feel natural to a woman because it's not natural. Less enjoyable sex is the cost of protection. Intellect vs instinct.


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

When married my wife smoked and she did not want to go on the pill. I did not want her on the pill has she got older and still smoking, eventually she quit smoking. 

I will not get a vasectomy. I have read about long term effects and recent study suggested the possibility that there may be a slight increase in the chances of developing prostate cancer among men who have had vasectomy. This difference does not show up for more than 20 years. I just do not feel it is the way I wanted to go.

My wife passed on but for about 30 years we used the pull method. It is by no means full proof but I have a lot of control and all I can say is it worked for us and one other couple we use to play cards with. You have to have pretty good control of your ejaculation timing.

If nothing else we use to do pull and finish with other options such as oral. Just some thoughts, nothing is fool proof. Good luck!


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