# Something this forum inspired me to do



## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

I have not been secretive here. I have two daughters and one son. My two daughters are adult. My younger daughter is getting married next month.

In my discussions here, I have admitted that some of you have challenged me to contact my daughters and see how I have done in my education about sex and their marriage. I realized that you have challenged me on a lot of things, and these are good ... 

So something I started doing is composing emails to my daughters since one of them is about to get married, and another has a boyfriend that she hopes to one day marry. In these emails, I spoke with them frankly about sex and things I wish I had known at the time I got married. I started giving them a frank, matter of fact man's perspective. I was careful to differentiate my opinion from what I learn from reading other men, and give them what I think it means.

My older daughter hasn't said anything to me about it (she's rather stand-offish, and our relationship is something of a roller-coaster). My younger daughter has contacted me first, thanking me for the tip on the coconut oil (something I learned on here), and telling me she liked my perspective. She told me she was comfortable talking to me about sex since it has always been open for discussion in our family. She also told me she has had frank discussions both with her fiance and his friends, but she told me that my perspective was one of someone who has had experience, and is now looking back on life with the benefit of my experience, so my talk is different from what she hears from her fiance and from friends. In the emails I sent about what makes the emotional connection of a man with his wife, and how sex plays a part in this, she particularly appreciated my perspective, and she discussed this with me.

You know, I never would have taken this step without being challenged on this forum. I always love to learn, even at my current stage in life. I have learned here. I really like that it has challenged me to contact my daughters again and pass on what I really have to pass on in hope that they find it helpful. It seems that in at least one case, it has been found helpful. Knowing my other daughter, it is also helpful, but will probably be a few weeks before she will acknowledge that. It's really good to still have open communication with adult daughters, and to hear that they still value their dad's perspective. I'm thankful for those on this forum who continue to challenge me.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I have never spoken with my father about sex (or my mom either for that matter - apart from the 'respect your body' type of speeches from her). I remember back when I was 17, a friend told me she ran into her parents bedroom in the morning, jumped on their bed to declare with excitement that she was no longer a virgin. I was gobsmacked at hearing this. It's not something I could imagine sharing with my parents at all. 

I think it's WONDERFUL that you have this type of relationship with your family. It sounds as though you have great open communication and that's something to be admired and cherished.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

This is awesome, shy_guy!

I hope that your wife will consider doing the same thing with your daughters if she hasn't already ... so that they can get both perspectives on what it takes to make a happy marriage. 

Best wishes.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My dad was the ONLY one I went to for sex talks.

He was open and informative and gave me a male perspective. It was never judgmental or nerve wracking...

I started talking to him about sex when I was 17. I didn't lose my virginity until early twenties...but he was the first to know the next day!

Good job in stepping up like this! It's good stuff


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