# Going back to work! Am I being unreasonable?



## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

So finally I have found gainful employment that will allow the Wife to get out of her job. The one that's driving her crazy. She works with a bunch of mentals and the drama and workload is killing her. She desperately wants out of there.

Well, on the one hand, I don't care that she's miserable, because half the reason she's miserable is the staff doesn't respect her. Why? because she's slept with almost every guy that's come through that place. So moving on anyway....

She's a generally likable, charismatic person. People let her get away with **** that others wouldn't be able to. Case in point, I'm basically letting her get away with being a ****. It's just how it is. That's not the main point of this. 

One thing she's always been able to get away with is poor attendance. She's NEVER on time, takes time off whenever she needs to, and no one ever bats an eye. Which is great, and it's been helpful with the family. 

As for me, I am NOT all that likable. I've been fired from a few jobs for things that were barely write-up worthy. Realizing this, I'm going into this new job with a "WORK FIRST" mentality. What that means is I'm not going to be as flexible as she was. Anniversary? Sorry, but I am working. New Years Eve? Sorry, I have to work. Christmas? I have to work. Meeting her long lost dad for the first time? I'm sorry, but I have to work.

My reasoning is that I AM Putting my family first, and the way I'm doing this is by providing financially for them. Which means putting my job first. Because I know I can't get away with being late. I can't take a day off because she's depressed. I can't be late to make sure the boy gets to school on time. I can't take time off for doctors appointments or social events. And I'll be less accessible outside of work as well, because I need to be in my best condition to be able to do my job effectively. I won't be able to stay up until midnight watching TV the way she does. I probably won't have the energy to have sex every single night the way she wants to.

When I tried to talk to her about all this, she basically shut me down, and pointed out how flexible she's been and willing to sacrifice all kinds of her own time at work to do family stuff.... While I didn't actually express these feelings, I felt like saying "YOU want this. I am doing this for YOU. If you don't want this, I can call the company back and tell them nevermind. Which is it????"

Am I being terribly selfish or unreasonable? I realize some people are gonna read this, then read my other threads, and say "You need to divorce her!" While I appreciate those looking for out for my best interests, that's not what this thread is about and would kindly request it not turn into that. Thanks!!


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

You're going back to work so she can quit her job where she was sleeping with a bunch of other guys.

What are the two of you doing to fix this relationship?


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## Jadiel (Oct 10, 2012)

Grrr...it's already starting. Today I have an interview, although it's reasonably open ended, I just have to show up sometime before 5. She also has some errands to run today for other stuff.

We get up at 9, and I'm like "So what's your plans for today." I already know what her plans are, but that's my gentle way of reminding HER, because she's flaky as hell. I then remind her of MY plans, which are supposedly important to her. 

She has several hours of errands, and I don't want to be the guy who shows up for an interview late, or even 5 minutes before closing, so I keep being like "AHEM, look at the time, wow it's 9:30...wow it's 10:00...wow it's 10:30..." and she's just sitting around reading and watching TV. 

I'm cool with her having a day off and relaxing, but this just goes back to my main point that SHE wants me to do this. I'm doing this for her so she can get away from the job she hates. And I'd like a LITTLE recognition in that fact. When she was working, I pretty much let her do whatever she wanted. All I want is that same courtesy. We're working on MY schedule now. Except we're not, because she's the QUEEN of dragging ass. 

GAH! This is never gonna work. Last time I had a job it was the same way. She'd be like "Let's go visit some family and have dinner." "Well honey I'd love to but I have to get up at 5 am for work and can't be out late."

"We'll be home by 8 i promise."

Then we come rolling in the driveway at 11:30 p.m. 

I can't tell if she's honestly just completely oblivious to the entire world around her, or if she does it on purpose to piss me off.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

You're going back to work so she can quit her job where she was sleeping with a bunch of other guys.

What are the two of you doing to fix this relationship?


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