# Hard being # 2 in my own marriage



## scaredbutcommited (Nov 16, 2011)

I have not posted on this sight in a while. Watching and in denial.
Back ground:
Hubby is in an EA and will not admit it.
He had written a long sexy note to a high school GF 2 years ago via FB.
She responded asking for his phone number and they had a few rounds of catch up until I confronted my Hubby, it seemed to stop.
I have been keeping tabs and find that he has been contacting the OW intermittently and she does not respond.
He sent her birthday greetings via FB last month and she did respond this time asking him for his phone number again.
This has been two years of B*** S***. The stress of this betrayal is starting to wear on me. He lies about things that don't really matter and I know he lies about the big things that do.
He never accesses his email but did so to erase the notification from this women. 
I don't really know what I need from this forum.....I just feel so trapped and alone.
I just do not know how to process all of this. My Husband REFUSES to discuss this with me. He picks a fight if I try. 
I am not a wimp....I am feeling defeated in my own life.


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

180 his backside and start living your own life.
Make your life fulfilling and happy, don't rely on him to do this. 
Tell him to keep in contact with her if he wishes but know that it is hurting you and hurting your marriage.
You can't control his actions but you can control your own. Don't be part of his drama. But tell him he has to choose between you.
Give a realistic ultimatum. He must choose!
He can't continue to cake eat!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## here2learn (Aug 23, 2012)

Not sure how open your communication is with your husband, but can you share how his actions are hurting you? Not in an accusing tone, but that you feel disrespected by him flirting with other women, especially after you've asked him to stop. He shouldn't be able to deflect this -- this is how you feel. If he doesn't care, then at least you know.

I'm not sure what your financial/emotional situation is, but you may need to figure out what your alternatives are if your husband continues to disrespect your feelings.


----------



## scaredbutcommited (Nov 16, 2011)

Here's the twist.
He does not know that I am aware of the latest information.
If I tell him he will just go underground more that ever.
I don't want to look stupid....but I don't want to let him know that I know either....STUCK


----------



## scaredbutcommited (Nov 16, 2011)

@ daisygirl Can you refresh my memory on 180 ???


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

scaredbutcommited said:


> Here's the twist.
> He does not know that I am aware of the latest information.
> If I tell him he will just go underground more that ever.
> I don't want to look stupid....but I don't want to let him know that I know either....STUCK


If it is just an EA blow it up and and make sure he sends the NC letter this time. Tell him lawyers will be involved if he can't get his head straight.


----------

