# Intrigued by wife's sexual history



## couple

My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.

I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.

I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.

I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.

I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?


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## SimplyAmorous

couple said:


> I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?


If it is going to turn you on, talk about it -sounds like she is willing...go for it ! Sounds like that is the case here....but that is generally not the norm...from many many stories here. 

People seem to enjoy sharing fantasies more than the details of their past sex lives.


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## Mavash.

I'm with Dean fantasies are one thing details are another. I know I've overshared (I was young and stupid) and if I could go back I wouldn't have said a word. Some of my escapades were done while drunk like that had any real meaning. But he sees it differently and I get that NOW.

Been married 20 years and other than the number of partners I know NOTHING of my husband's past and have no desire to know. He's not a kiss and tell kinda guy.


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## Drewgar

my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.

Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.

Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.


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## couple

Drewgar said:


> my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.
> 
> Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.
> 
> Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.


I see your point but the taboo nature of it is part of the attraction of it for me. Let me address some of the concerns:

1. what if she had larger penises that mine?

No problem. I know she has had. I don't have the biggest penis in the world. I also know that she likes big penises. She's also had sex with guys with bigger biceps, whiter teeth, nicer hair, etc. so what? it's the whole package...if you look at individual parts you can always find a nicer (fill in the blank) in others.

2. what if she did things that she refuses to do with me?

not sure about this one. She has had experiences that she has never had with me (sex in various places, etc) but there is no whole 'category' of sex (e.g. oral, anal, etc) that she has had with others and not me. If this were the case I'm sure we could talk about it to understand why. You can't do EVERYTHING with your spouse that they did in the past. That's just life. No problem for me.

3. what if other guys did her better?

hmmm. this is a common fear that people have whether they know their wife's history or not. Some people may like to live life thinking that they were the best their spouse has ever had and don't want to know any realities that might challenge this. This might work for some but not for me. Like in #1, some aspects of it might have been 'better' with other guys (bigger d*ck, special tricks, etc). If, as a man, you try your best with sex, focus on it and are truly into your wife, how can another man just always be 'better'. Anyway, I can accept that sex with different people is always somewhat DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT does not equal BETTER. But sex during horny younger years is, in some ways better but in many other ways not as good.

4. What if you hear some things that upset you or give you painful 'mind movies'?

Well there are always those things that give you some shivers but hey, we are adults and we should be able to deal with it. However, if you have an image of your spouse that would be ruined by something that you hear then sharing sexual stories is probably not for you. She's done some things that she knows were risky and stupid (as most people have) and that seem out of character to the woman I know. But I don't have a virginal image of her that is ruined by these things. Knowing these things does not change how I view her or what I think of her. She did these things and that's just part of her sexuality. When i heard things that were out of character for her, I was surprised and intrigued by them and understanding this stuff made me feel that I know her better. Hearing some of the things was intense and emotional and we felt a much closer level of intimacy because of it. So learning something about your spouse that surprises you after knowing them for so many years can be exciting and can keep your relationship interesting.

Women commonly share things with their friends anyway. Why? Because many people like talking about sex. So I don't understand why the topic should be off limits with a spouse.


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## Drewgar

couple said:


> I see your point but the taboo nature of it is part of the attraction of it for me. Let me address some of the concerns:
> 
> 1. what if she had larger penises that mine?
> 
> No problem. I know she has had. I don't have the biggest penis in the world. I also know that she likes big penises. She's also had sex with guys with bigger biceps, whiter teeth, nicer hair, etc. so what? it's the whole package...if you look at individual parts you can always find a nicer (fill in the blank) in others.
> 
> *That is one problem i never really consider will affect any LTR, ive always though that as long as the people involved are in the act of love making and not sex size will never have any affect. My beliefs are that in this situation u could hvae the worlds smallest penis but when you are making love with all the emotions, bells and wistles that are involved to the other person you will have the biggest penis they will have ever experienced.*
> 
> 2. what if she did things that she refuses to do with me?
> 
> not sure about this one. She has had experiences that she has never had with me (sex in various places, etc) but there is no whole 'category' of sex (e.g. oral, anal, etc) that she has had with others and not me. If this were the case I'm sure we could talk about it to understand why. You can't do EVERYTHING with your spouse that they did in the past. That's just life. No problem for me.
> 
> *Its not so much as she wont more of the she hates the act, it could realistically cause a problem and no matter how much you talk about it you may still feel a little resentment, how you deal with this is your choice but you should always plan th negative outcome as well as the positive just incase.*
> 
> 3. what if other guys did her better?
> 
> hmmm. this is a common fear that people have whether they know their wife's history or not. Some people may like to live life thinking that they were the best their spouse has ever had and don't want to know any realities that might challenge this. This might work for some but not for me. Like in #1, some aspects of it might have been 'better' with other guys (bigger d*ck, special tricks, etc). If, as a man, you try your best with sex, focus on it and are truly into your wife, how can another man just always be 'better'. Anyway, I can accept that sex with different people is always somewhat DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT does not equal BETTER. But sex during horny younger years is, in some ways better but in many other ways not as good.
> 
> *Same answer has my reply to number really, makign love will always be better thn the best sex the other person has ever experienced.*
> 
> 4. What if you hear some things that upset you or give you painful 'mind movies'?
> 
> Well there are always those things that give you some shivers but hey, we are adults and we should be able to deal with it. However, if you have an image of your spouse that would be ruined by something that you hear then sharing sexual stories is probably not for you. She's done some things that she knows were risky and stupid (as most people have) and that seem out of character to the woman I know. But I don't have a virginal image of her that is ruined by these things. Knowing these things does not change how I view her or what I think of her. She did these things and that's just part of her sexuality. When i heard things that were out of character for her, I was surprised and intrigued by them and understanding this stuff made me feel that I know her better. Hearing some of the things was intense and emotional and we felt a much closer level of intimacy because of it. So learning something about your spouse that surprises you after knowing them for so many years can be exciting and can keep your relationship interesting.
> 
> Women commonly share things with their friends anyway. Why? Because many people like talking about sex. So I don't understand why the topic should be off limits with a spouse.


*your comments about number 4 on your list are my biggest concerns for any person wanting to knwo the details about other peoples past. Like i said you may feel fine now but you can never forget the things she tells you that while now you feel fine abotu in a few months years or even decades from now could possible affect you. I envy people with the choice of if to know there partners pasts or not i know my wifes and while i feel good that she was honest and trusts me to know these facts if i was given the choice i would probally not want to know, I only found out due to the fact before we were together we was best friends and knew alot about each other, but given the choice now im not so sure like i said.

Always fully think through the pros and cons of any conversation like this my advice like i said would be stay away but thats neither my decision or place to tell you i can only offer advice. i dont wish to seem all high and mighty by how i have spoken i just like to express my own personal experiences and adice.

I hope what ever your decision may be i hope i have helped you in a small way even if its being prepared we can never know how the future will unfold. i hope you the best of luck.*


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## Silly Husband

You are not alone, couple. I discovered what you are talking about 10 years into my marriage at the grocery store, no less!

She mentioned dating the guy waiting 3 aisles over and I joked, "did his 'line' move faster then, too?". She smirked and said yes. I hadn't expected a response (other than the usual punch in the arm), but like you I was instantly intrigued. I spent the rest of the day pestering her for more details and she laughingly obliged. I remember feeling anxious asking the questions, no, maybe it was anticipation but I just couldn't help asking. I never once felt like I would be upset by her responses, after all I was asking.

That subject came up from time to time for a year or two but I think it was a phase for me because I haven't thought about it in the longest time. It was fun for both of us while it lasted though and we've been together 26 yrs so I can say that it never caused US any problems.


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## rogergrant

I've always thought full disclosure was best. If it turns you on, then it'll make disclosure a lot easier.


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## couple

Silly Husband said:


> You are not alone, couple. I discovered what you are talking about 10 years into my marriage at the grocery store, no less!
> 
> She mentioned dating the guy waiting 3 aisles over and I joked, "did his 'line' move faster then, too?". She smirked and said yes. I hadn't expected a response (other than the usual punch in the arm), but like you I was instantly intrigued. I spent the rest of the day pestering her for more details and she laughingly obliged. I remember feeling anxious asking the questions, no, maybe it was anticipation but I just couldn't help asking. I never once felt like I would be upset by her responses, after all I was asking.
> 
> That subject came up from time to time for a year or two but I think it was a phase for me because I haven't thought about it in the longest time. It was fun for both of us while it lasted though and we've been together 46 yrs so I can say that it never caused US any problems.


Thanks for sharing this. I also go through phases where I have this intrigue and times where I don't think about it at all. Like you, I have felt very anxious (nervous anticipation) when asking questions and I find this very exciting. One time we explored this while on vacation and it was part of our sex every night during that week. It's good that you have had fun with this too. Let's face it, most of our wives have been horny for guys and have gotten 'naughty' with other guys. Just a fact of life. Some can't face this fact but some of us can have some fun with it (assuming she's into it too). When you have been with someone for ages, it's fun to think of them as younger, carefree, horny, sexual and free.


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## Silly Husband

couple said:


> When you have been with someone for ages, it's fun to think of them as younger, carefree, horny, sexual and free.


And now, mine!


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## Coffee Amore

A long time ago I asked my husband about his sexual past. He's not the kiss and tell type. He wouldn't tell me, but I pushed until he reluctantly told me some details about one girlfriend. Then I wish I hadn't asked. When he saw my face, he shut up and refused to say anymore because he felt bad. Not only did I know the girl he told me about (she and I had gone to the same school but I didn't know him back then), but they had done something we hadn't done until then. Of course I then had to do it so that he had a fresh memory of it with me.  For a while I was jealous, but I got over it. I can talk to him about those things in the past without any jealousy. It's BTDT, old history, no threat to me. We've done so much more together than things he's done in the past. Today I'm fine with his past. Back when I was an insecure 20 something year old, I had more problems with the details.


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## YinPrincess

I don't want to know any details, especially sexual ones, about my husband's past. I know very little about it currently, and what I do know, I have to not think about or else it will bother me.

Unlike anyone who has asked, he volunteered this information to me - but since has learned that maybe keeping some things to yourself is best.

He knows a lot about my previous relationship, (being that we were friends and all, and he knew my ex), but sexual details I don't reveal. Not that there was anything much to reveal anyways, but you get the idea...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tonyarz

If it turns you on, I would ask her about it. My wife has had many partners and always gives info If I ask. I am not the biggest, the best or anything.  But she loves me anyways.


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## RandomDude

couple said:


> My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.
> 
> I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.
> 
> I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.
> 
> I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.
> 
> I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?


WTF mate?! :rofl:
You are EXACTLY like me in this! :smthumbup: lol

She had a wild past including threesomes and other women (and she denies that she is bi-sexual), which I always find intriguing.


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## 40isthenew20

Just knowing that my wife was with other guys before me is uncomfortable, let alone hearing how they made her cum? To each his own, bro, but I'm a jealous bastard who gets flustered by the mere thought of some other man being down there. Regardless if it was before my time. 

My wife claims to have only been with ex-boyfriends, but I still hold some reservations on if she is downplaying it or not. Either way, it would make me explode to hear any details and I'm also glad that I do not know who any of these guys are. It would be even more uncomfortable if I did.


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## johnnycomelately

I can't see why a confident person would have a problem with their partner's sexual past. There is a reason why she is with you and not the complete ******* who happened to have a big ****. This is a person you love and, presumably, find attractive so what wouldn't be sexy about imagining her in sexual situations?

If you are going in for the long-haul, as in you are planning to be faithful to this person for the rest of your life, you need to spice things up a bit. If this turns you on, why not?


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## tryingtobebetter

I believe there can be risks involved.

I read once about a man (not me) who pestered his wife for details. When she told him he was fine with it.

Then fifteen years later he decided he was not.

The mind can do very strange things


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## johnnycomelately

tryingtobebetter said:


> I believe there can be risks involved.


There _are_ risks, but there are risks involved in everything, including not being adventurous as many on this board can attest to.


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## onetimer6804

I'm a new member, and i joined this forum for exactly this topic. Been married for 11 years. My wife is the same scenario - she's had plenty of lovers before we met. She is a very attractive woman and has never had a problem with guys. I met her when I was 16 - she was 17 - yes I know, she was really young. She was sexually active when she was 15. She was my first and only. 

So I'm no cuckold either. I hate the fact that I am inexperienced w/ other women. But she says she doesn't mind. 

I am turned on by her past sex life - and we would talk about it during sex. thats because she knows it turns me on. 

I thought I was the only one with this unusual fetish.


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## Omgitsjoe

onetimer6804 said:


> I'm a new member, and i joined this forum for exactly this topic. Been married for 11 years. My wife is the same scenario - she's had plenty of lovers before we met. She is a very attractive woman and has never had a problem with guys. I met her when I was 16 - she was 17 - yes I know, she was really young. She was sexually active when she was 15. She was my first and only.
> 
> So I'm no cuckold either. I hate the fact that I am inexperienced w/ other women. But she says she doesn't mind.
> 
> I am turned on by her past sex life - and we would talk about it during sex. thats because she knows it turns me on.
> 
> I thought I was the only one with this unusual fetish.


That's what's so great about this site TAM. You read threads and posts ....... over time you realize you're not alone and that there are indeed others out there with the same " interests or concerns "  ?? 

Most folks here are willing to listen and provide good , sincere advise and feedback. Trust me you'll soon see that this fetish isn't as ummmmm unusual as you may think  ?? 

By the way ..... Welcome to TAM


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## onetimer6804

Omgitsjoe said:


> That's what's so great about this site TAM. You read threads and posts ....... over time you realize you're not alone and that there are indeed others out there with the same " interests or concerns "  ??
> 
> Most folks here are willing to listen and provide good , sincere advise and feedback. Trust me you'll soon see that this fetish isn't as ummmmm unusual as you may think  ??
> 
> By the way ..... Welcome to TAM


oh wow. I think I'm going to like it here. My wife's always told me that I was the only one from her exes that asks about her past. 

So is it common for a woman to have had 7 sex partners at 17 years old? If she hadn't met me - I can only imaging that number multiplying.


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## Plan 9 from OS

While I think it's reasonable to get the straight scoop on the sexual pasts of the person you are dating, I am not keen at all about dwelling on what my wife's past experiences. I consider myself to have a "healthy jealousy" about my wife. It does not get me excited to talk about who my wife was boning before I came into the picture. I would want to be the one who is the #1 person in her mind at all times and be the best experience for her in all facets of marriage.

Aside from personal feelings, I believe that there could be unintended consequences to this. Regularly discussing your wife's sexual exploits in detail for the sake of foreplay could result in stirring up feelings for a past boyfriend. We all know how easy it is to reconnect with social media today, so why plant the seed in her brain to possibly pursue something like this? JMHO, but I could see some pretty bad blowback by glorifying the wife's past sex life.


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## Goldmember357

one of the biggest fails that leads to problems and even divorce is people not knowing their spouses past. You should know everything about a person than you can see if you are truly compatible. Past is reflective of how a person is or how they once conducted themselves at some point. 

The most illogical thing i ever heard was that "past does not mater"

LOL by that logic the actions you commit now do not mater either nor do they ever matter! 


You being turned on by her spouse is is not horrible. Not my taste to want to hear about my wife being pleased by other men. But everyone has different tastes. I personally think you should know each other's pasts but i would not go into detail about specific sexual things you did with past lovers unless you are asked. At that i cannot understand why you would want to hear what in particular they did to please her.


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## Omgitsjoe

One needs to know and understand a prespective spouse's past IMHO. If one is in love and interested in a person to marry and be with for the rest of their lives he/she needs to understand it is that person's past ..... who makes them who they are and why their in love with him/her.


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## inalifetime

wow. I see a lot of responses on this subject. I don't spend much time in forums but thought I would chime in for what it's worth.

My wife and I have a very happy marriage. Children and grandkids now. Our intimacy is still real good.

When I met my wife, she was 21 and I was 23. She had a child by a previous marriage. For some reason I did ask her about her previous sex life although at the time it was not something I was really interested in. She told me she had 16 different men including her first husband. Most were only on one occasion.

Couple... my answer to your first question was that at first I was very uncomfortable to think she had that many different men. But over time I became very much intrigued. In fact, it was arousing to me to hear the stories. They were not easy to get out of my wife because she was not always comfortable in telling me. But she finally did over a period of years because she knew it made me happy.

I actually committed each one of her encounters to memory. Not sure exactly why but I am sure at this point I recollect them better than she could or would.

So, I don't know why I find her past so fascinating when I know there may be things she wishes she had done differently in her late teens.

She had sex with men from 18 to 60 from the time she was 16 to 20. I am very glad she did. And I did enjoy hearing her tell me about them. Now they are just items I still fantasize about although they are all very real experiences. I have memorized them all !!

I have a beautiful wife and love her very much !


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## Plan 9 from OS

inalifetime said:


> wow. I see a lot of responses on this subject. I don't spend much time in forums but thought I would chime in for what it's worth.
> 
> My wife and I have a very happy marriage. Children and grandkids now. Our intimacy is still real good.
> 
> When I met my wife, she was 21 and I was 23. She had a child by a previous marriage. For some reason I did ask her about her previous sex life although at the time it was not something I was really interested in. She told me she had 16 different men including her first husband. Most were only on one occasion.
> 
> Couple... my answer to your first question was that at first I was very uncomfortable to think she had that many different men. But over time I became very much intrigued. In fact, it was arousing to me to hear the stories. They were not easy to get out of my wife because she was not always comfortable in telling me. But she finally did over a period of years because she knew it made me happy.
> 
> I actually committed each one of her encounters to memory. Not sure exactly why but I am sure at this point I recollect them better than she could or would.
> 
> So, I don't know why I find her past so fascinating when I know there may be things she wishes she had done differently in her late teens.
> 
> She had sex with men from 18 to 60 from the time she was 16 to 20. I am very glad she did. And I did enjoy hearing her tell me about them. Now they are just items I still fantasize about although they are all very real experiences. I have memorized them all !!
> 
> I have a beautiful wife and love her very much !


Whatever gets you going I suppose. It's nothing I would ever want to dwell on with my wife. I always found out about the sexual pasts of GFs and my wife, but that was only for me to be informed about the type of person I was with.


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## Machiavelli

onetimer6804 said:


> oh wow. I think I'm going to like it here. My wife's always told me that I was the only one from her exes that asks about her past.
> 
> So is it common for a woman to have had 7 sex partners at 17 years old? If she hadn't met me - I can only imaging that number multiplying.


What makes you think it didn't?


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## controlledchaos

I'm the same. She's had more partners than I and initially I disliked that fact, but it is what it is. She's told me details, including 'size' etc, and I can't help but enjoy thinking about it. 

Maybe it's because I find her so sexy and thinking of her in a sexy situation is, well, sexy. 

Maybe it's just a strange fetish. And maybe that's why I'm on here, to find out.


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## Terry_CO

I posted a topic in this forum about this very subject, but instead of fantasizing and reveling in my wife's sexual past, I am having issues with it - obsessing over it, in reality. It shouldn't be occupying as much conscious thought as it does, but it does


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## inalifetime

In my case, I know it is a fetish. I have fantisized about it for years. Like I said in a previous post, when dating my wife (and yes we did have much pre-marital sex) I just happened to ask her about her sexual past. I am sure it is good that she told me the truth then when she was 21. Because I would have gradually over the years found out about her teenage promiscuity.

I was dismayed and disappointed when she first told me the number. In fact, I didn't want to see her for awhile. She was afraid she may have made a mistake in telling me. But it was not a mistake.

She was very attractive and well built when I met her. Still is for that matter. I think I just envied all the men who had her and I envied her for being able to enjoy those 4 or 5 years of complete sexual freedom.

I spent time in the military in my late teens and yes I had much sex in SE Asia but it was with women who were paid for that. I met my wife after returning from all of that and really never knew a girl could be that well endowed.

I spent many years getting my wife to tell me about each individual man she slept with and asked for details. It took awhile to get all of that info because she was never really comfortable in talking about them. One question I always had was how did they respond when they first saw her breasts? That always fascinated me because she is a C cup and perfectly shaped.

She told me about many different “conquests” as I liked to refer to them. I will relate one to you. When my wife was 19 she worked as a telephone operator. In those days you could actually talk with an operator. She connected a man on the phone to his wife and overheard the conversation. The couple were obviously having marital problems and raising their voices. So my wife took this opportunity after their conversation to talk with the man.

To make a long story short, she gave him her phone number. As it turned out the man was 38 years old and in town on business and staying at a local hotel. I told my wife that she had really taken a chance with a random encounter like this. She said the man was quite heavy, in fact, “obese” was my wife’s description. But he did show up to pick her up at her apartment and took her out to a nice dinner and by mutual agreement, to his hotel room.

I won’t go into all the details but as she was explaining all this to me one night in bed, it got me so aroused. How she teased him. She told him she hadn’t brought anything to wear for the night so he handed her one of his T-shirts. She went in the bathroom and put it on and came out and “paraded” around for him. He was obviously impressed saying it looked a lot better on her than on him. It probably almost touched the floor since my wife is 5’1” and weighed 110. Then I had her tell me everything that happened that night in detail and I memorized it. How impressed he was with her. She said he was very amorous and affectionate and loved to kiss. That surprised her for some reason. I guess not all men are. I have been fantasizing about that encounter of hers along with many others.

Anyway, no, don’t feel alone with your way of thinking. I know there are many married men who have this same fetish about their wife's previous sexual encounters.


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## onetimer6804

Machiavelli said:


> What makes you think it didn't?


right. i guess i dont know that. she is full of surprises.


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## onetimer6804

inalifetime said:


> wow. I see a lot of responses on this subject. I don't spend much time in forums but thought I would chime in for what it's worth.
> 
> My wife and I have a very happy marriage. Children and grandkids now. Our intimacy is still real good.
> 
> When I met my wife, she was 21 and I was 23. She had a child by a previous marriage. For some reason I did ask her about her previous sex life although at the time it was not something I was really interested in. She told me she had 16 different men including her first husband. Most were only on one occasion.
> 
> Couple... my answer to your first question was that at first I was very uncomfortable to think she had that many different men. But over time I became very much intrigued. In fact, it was arousing to me to hear the stories. They were not easy to get out of my wife because she was not always comfortable in telling me. But she finally did over a period of years because she knew it made me happy.
> 
> I actually committed each one of her encounters to memory. Not sure exactly why but I am sure at this point I recollect them better than she could or would.
> 
> So, I don't know why I find her past so fascinating when I know there may be things she wishes she had done differently in her late teens.
> 
> She had sex with men from 18 to 60 from the time she was 16 to 20. I am very glad she did. And I did enjoy hearing her tell me about them. Now they are just items I still fantasize about although they are all very real experiences. I have memorized them all !!
> 
> I have a beautiful wife and love her very much !


im the same way. matter of fact - after 11 years, it's what's keeping our sex lives very active. i don't think the sexual attraction would be the same - if she isn't the way she is.


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## Plan 9 from OS

onetimer and inalifetime, I suppose I can understand why a person would feel this way. Maybe the excitement stems from the fact that now that she is yours, that all of your wives' past sexual encounters prove that 1) she is desirable to others, 2) you were able to make her yours and 3) you feel validated because she chose you in the end.

Me? NFW would I ever dwell on this because IMHO my thoughts are now that my wife is with me her past remains in the past. No trips down memory lane because that is a past life that can never come back. I prefer to live in the present and enjoy my wife in the present. My excitement for my wife is based on who she is now - not what she was back then (or for who).


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## onetimer6804

Plan 9 from OS said:


> onetimer and inalifetime, I suppose I can understand why a person would feel this way. Maybe the excitement stems from the fact that now that she is yours, that all of your wives' past sexual encounters prove that 1) she is desirable to others, 2) you were able to make her yours and 3) you feel validated because she chose you in the end.
> 
> Me? NFW would I ever dwell on this because IMHO my thoughts are now that my wife is with me her past remains in the past. No trips down memory lane because that is a past life that can never come back. I prefer to live in the present and enjoy my wife in the present. My excitement for my wife is based on who she is now - not what she was back then (or for who).


You're absolutely right - Plan 9 on those 3 things. And yes, it isn't something that most people like to dwell on. Hell - i thought I was the only one - until i see there's others like me.


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## sandc

My wife has no sexual past so I can't speak to that. I was her first. However, the fantasy, fetish if you will, of her being with other men is something we both enjoy fantasizing about. It will never become reality but she has found the fantasies to be very liberating to her. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's just an outlet for her to pretend to be promiscuous. I like it for the three reason Plan 9 mentions above.


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## RClawson

I think my take on this is a bit different. After my wife and I were engaged she told me she had a lover. Initially she told me it was no big deal, very clinical and that it was something that she regretted it. Now for the rest of the story (finding the phrase trickle truth on this site had a powerful meaning for me). Please bare in mind I have never asked for any detail but here is everything I know.

1. The guy she had the encounter with turned out to be the guy that introduced us indirectly. One of his brothers married my wife's best friend and his other brother married my wife's sister.
2. This was not a brief encounter. They had a long and lengthy physical affair. How do I know? She was kind of a slob when I met her and the back seat of her car was like a dumpster. I offered to clean her car and while cleaning out the back seat I found a packet of almost used birth control pills. She said they were her roommates (right).
3. I know she had her first orgasm in a movie theater. When we were first married and before I knew this she would get really passionate at the movies. I thought we would eventually would have sex there. When I connected the dots I realized this was a replay of them and was not interested.
4. He was huge. "He could have hurt me if he wanted to".
5. She never went down on him (Bahahahahahahahahaha).
6. She refers to the time they were together as her ****ty period.

She could have told me it was one time thing but he was constantly dropping hints and I eventually connected the dots. If I would have know his other brother would marry my sister in law I never would have married my wife. For years I have felt like a cuckold.

I do know the truth now. I was plan B. He was the bad boy she could not bring herself to marry. I was the nice safe boy from the right side of the tracks her parents would approve of.

I have found communication from my wife and her best friend over the years and I know that their relationship was much deeper than she lets on. I can mention something about our history where I know it will connect to him and you can almost see her get lost.

She also has a few songs on her Ipod that are complete trigger songs for their relationship. It makes me want to heave whenever I hear them.

I wish I was entirely ignorant.


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## ilou

TBH, if I were the son in your family and somehow found out about a cuckold or were in an open relationship, I'd be very hurt and weirded out. Of course partners prior to marriage can be expected. Then again, nearly all kin feel weird talking about sexual health with their parents... This is not to say that it means your relationship won't be healthy or happy cause every couple has different standards as what is "happy" or "healthy".


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## RClawson

I did not say I was a cuckold. I implied that this is what is felt like being that because of all the close family ties and loose lips everyone is aware of the situation and due to the nature of all the relationships the only way I could ever really get away from it in my mind is divorce.


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## bg 600

Drewgar said:


> my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.
> 
> Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.
> 
> Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.


*********** I disagree. Marriage is a tremendous sacrifice for the man. Way more than for the women(marriage is typically what they want). Men have the right to know ANYTHING if they are going to commit. A man should be allowed to dump the women if he cannot handle the truth. This is the where the sexual revolution and feminism has gotten us.:rofl:


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## tryingtobebetter

Zombie thread


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## larry.gray

bg 600: You clearly are dealing with something personally, hence the loads of posts in threads on the same subject.

I'd just suggests a different tack. You're posting in very old threads. They're great for reading advice that's there, and using the search feature and finding them is good. But, generally people are only expecting the original poster to come back and update things in such old threads. Posting stuff related to your own story in many old threads isn't liked by many members. It makes it hard to piece together your story.

Hitting "post new topic" is free. Post your story, have your very own thread.


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## Goldmember357

johnnycomelately said:


> *I can't see why a confident person would have a problem with their partner's sexual past. *


I can

What if someone was lied to about their partners past?

What if the two individuals are complete polar opposites, and the withheld information is potentially very "sick"/"wrong" and or against the principles by which one partner stands by? 

Environment heavily shapes individuals and past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior in many cases.



johnnycomelately said:


> I can't see why a confident person would have a problem with their partner's sexual past. [/B]There is a reason why she is with you and not the complete ******* who happened to have a big ****. This is a person you love and, presumably, find attractive so what wouldn't be sexy about imagining her in sexual situations?
> 
> If you are going in for the long-haul, as in you are planning to be faithful to this person for the rest of your life, you need to spice things up a bit. If this turns you on, why not?


The OP's case is different from other threads, were a spouse was lied to about their spouses past. 

OP is wanting to know about past to sexually arouse his mind


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## Stonewall

Leave this in fantasy land. If it turns you on then fantasize about it but don't get into the reality of it. You may be sorry if you do.


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## treyvion

Stonewall said:


> Leave this in fantasy land. If it turns you on then fantasize about it but don't get into the reality of it. You may be sorry if you do.


Explain


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## Anuvia

couple said:


> My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.
> 
> I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.
> 
> I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.
> 
> I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.
> 
> I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?


I think deep down you probably want to share your wife. You're definitely a cuckold.


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## Kerrysub4u

couple said:


> My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.
> 
> I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.
> 
> I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.
> 
> I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.
> 
> I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?


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## Kerrysub4u

I am the same way. At first knowing she was with guys before me made me jealous. Now after being married for years , her stories turn me on. It took me a long time to get her to admit anything but once she did her stories actually excite me.


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