# Brother in law sleeping over



## Mark82 (Nov 25, 2015)

Within the last couple of months my wife and I decided to move closer to her family, so they didn't have to commute to ours for an hour and all stay over, which I couldn't deal with at the time. It was just too intrusive.

So no we live just 10 minutes away I find out today that her brother in law (28 year old man) is staying over at our house after the pub. He gets up in his pjamas in the morning with no top on which I find rude, and swans around the house until he decides what time he wants to get ready.

I'm really angry because I knew my wife and her brother were going out this evening, and going christmas shopping tomorrow but she said nothing to me about him sleeping over. For some reason him and his dad (my father in law) are both the same they always want to stay over and it's just annoying.

Am I being too sensitive here or does anyone else find this a little weird? They have a closer family then I ever have but I just find it intrusive and given we had moved 10 minutes from them I figured that would put an end to everything, but it seems not.

Thoughts?


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

No your not. It is one thing if a social gathering runs late and someone needs to sleep it off. But to stay without your knowledge is rude. Also you said BIL who is 28. Where was your your wife's sister. Is this going to end up on the Jerry Springer show?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Mark82 said:


> Am I being too sensitive here or does anyone else find this a little weird?


No, you're not being too sensitive and yes, I find it weird.

But the problem here isn't your weird BIL and FIL. It's your wife. And you. For not establishing boundaries and allowing this nonsense to continue. 

Moving closer (10 mins vs. 1 hour) does nothing to enlighten boorish clods who insist on intruding in your space. In fact, I'm sure they think "Only 10 minutes away? Great! MORE sleepovers!!"

You need to communicate clearly to your wife that this is NOT acceptable. At the end of their visit, you need to politely but firmly usher them out the door. Your house, your rules.


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## Mark82 (Nov 25, 2015)

She says that it is a one off because they are doing a Christmas shop tomorrow morning, and the pub finishes at 11.30pm. I still find it really uncomfortable, I wouldn't even find it comfortable having my own family staying over never mind hers. Now I'm 32 and a man, I always thought people stayed over for the following reasons only...

1) They live a few hours away and a taxi or hotel is expensive, if you're drinking on a social night out.
2) They get locked out of there house
3) Christmas Day
4) Children who have sleepovers with friends.

Not my brother in law who drives and lives 10 minutes away. Yes I know he is drinking but even so he could easily arrange a lift, a bus, or a taxi I almost feel like he's probably invited himself to stay over. The next thing I know is that as soon as we have kids, the entire family will want to be staying over, and that thought of sitting there with a newly born child and all of her family including her obsessed father in law just terrifies me, that's really not a good sign is it, the fact I am dreading having children?

I hate to feel like a negative person, and moan about things but I just find it odd and given her father in law doesn't have a single friend I know he is going to want to be round here every five minutes when we've got children, couldn't think of anything more soul destroying.

Problem is now I am in a now win situation. She's invited him to stay, or he's invited himself I am not sure which, but either way he either stays and I have to deal with it smiling like it's all ok, or she says no and then he gets the face on because I have put my foot down.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Mark82, 
Put your foot down and do it now. Sure, your wife will be pissed, but in the long run she will respect you for it.
It's for the good of your family. You are the head of it. Decide and act.


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## Mark82 (Nov 25, 2015)

I have given up this time just because they will be leaving at 8 in the morning so it's not for that long, but I am not happy about it. Questioning whether to just leave my marriage to be honest, and these thoughts have been floating in and out for the last 4 years no matter how hard I try...


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Omg that is weird, lol. We have friends who live an hour away, we visit and don't sleep over, lol. 

If I were you I'd move interstate, rofl!


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