# Wedding Day advice



## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Young couples often ask for marital advice from "seasoned veterans," so I thought I would marshall the resources of the esteemed, learned, and creative members of TAM.

What profound, succinct, marital advice would you offer a young couple?

To get us started, I offer these three pearls (none of which I claim as original):

1. Always argue naked.
2. Keep the fights clean, and the sex dirty.
3. For the wives: Never let your husband leave the house hungry, or horny.

Enjoy!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Know your own natural libido and your fiance's before getting married and learn all you can about sexual mismatches, because they cause a lot of divorces.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

cent130130 said:


> Young couples often ask for marital advice from "seasoned veterans," so I thought I would marshall the resources of the esteemed, learned, and creative members of TAM.
> 
> What profound, succinct, marital advice would you offer a young couple?
> 
> ...


My two pieces of advice are the two signatures I have with every post; perception is reality, and the key to a great marriage is making your spouses every want something you need to give them, and vice versa.

If someone percieves the sky to be neon red everyday, you can explain to them 1,000 times over that is in fact blue, but if they see neon red it is neon red to them. So work with them on their perception and remember it gets there for a reason. 

Give your spouse everything they want that you can give them, provided it is feasible and reasonable to do so, and expect them to do the same for you. I couldn't imagine a better relationship where both people work hard to fulfill the wants and needs of the other as often as possible.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Read the books "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters" before you get married. Work through them together. Then use the advice given as the guide to how you live your marriage.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Separate bank accounts.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Make sure you're comfortable with your in laws, their customs, norms, appearance, attitudes, etc. Your spouse has a good chance of turning into their parent so if you have not taken a good look at your future mother in law (not THAT look lolz) now is the time to ask.

I know it's specific to my case but also find out if any type of mental illness runs in the family... They won't tell you of course but try to interact with sufficient numbers of brother or sister in laws to get a better read.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Marry someone that's nice, not moody and temperamental and someone who doesn't play games.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Don't dwell on the little things and learn to let them go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

Keep it fun and don't take yourselves too seriously. Don't put each other up on pedestals. You are both humans. Be open about sexual matters. Sexuality is a very important part of who you are and it's amazing how so many couples are not comfortable sharing important aspects of their sexuality with their spouses - e.g. their sexual history and how they really feel about it, their fantasies, etc.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

FW is spot on - make sure you're on the same sexual wavelength as your spouse. If you want it everyday, and he/she can go without for a year, you will have an issue.

Also make sure about his/her family - my wife has a sister that's a total PITA drama queen, and tries to drag my wife into her issues, which sometimes succeeds because my wife doesn't want to upset her sister.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Here is what I learned. Own your mistakes and never turn the argument around and make it her fault. Also if she wants to go and do something that your not really into it, go and act is if your having the greatest time ever. Wished I would have done this 32 years ago.


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

Wait, this is posted in the sex section, so are you wanting to gather advice just about sex in a marriage? Most people seem to be posting advice in general.

I'll do both.

For sex, have fun with it. Don't let the fun die after marriage. I loved always striving to be his fantasy. Whenever we'd go shopping in the mall we'd always go into the lingerie stores and sex shops and he'd pick out what he'd want me to wear... fun to do together, and then also fun later  I loved to go the extra mile with fun get ups, or sometimes just walk in naked with heels  Every Halloween I'd buy a new sexy costume just to be worn around the house for him. I took the reins if I realized sex hadn't happened in a while (he worked long, hard hours, and often fell asleep at like 7) so I'd often get up early in the morning to give him a nice surprise in the shower 

For general advice, it would be to not let little things turn into big things. If there is a problem brewing, address it right then and there, or as soon as possible, to solve it before it turns into something unnecessary and breeds other issues. Be willing to be actively preventative in your marriage and guard it against the problems we can create when we become too lazy or selfish.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Have a prenup to protect all your assests

Discuss all topics that are and WILL be important as your marriage goes along : kids, finances, chores, where you will love and so on

Live together first to make sure you see the ins and outs of the person

Most important : set your boundrys and requirements early on and stick to them. Don't want to have outside opposite gender friends? then state that and what the consequences are. Want to have a certain frequency of sex of oral sex least once a week or whatever discuss it first and and discuss consequences. ALL information up front 

Finally, in case you're young and I see this on TaM frequently, do not expect change. Post after post about how "my wife or husband doesn't want to ever have sex or give head" then you find out they never did and this poster married them anyway. You get what you know about so either accept them, good and bad, or don't get married at all. My experience is people don't change so what cards they show you prior to marriage is what you get.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Pick your battles. 

Always always always give your significant other your undivided attention no matter the situation. Identify each others top emotional needs. Work at fulfilling those needs everyday.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Advice for ON the actual wedding day?

EAT!

So many brides/grooms are caught up and saying hi to everyone that they don't eat properly/healthily.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

TAKE SOME DANG SLEEPING MEDS BEFORE!!!!

Gah. I got exactly zero sleep the night before my wedding. I was too nervous and excited. On my wedding I was so tired that it ruined my entire day. I didn't dance, every one thought I was grumpy, and I can hardly remember it! 

If I had a redo I would take some pills to knock me out so I made sure I got some sleep. I regret that part of my wedding so much, and I think of it often.


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## homedepot (May 13, 2014)

cent130130 said:


> Young couples often ask for marital advice from "seasoned veterans," so I thought I would marshall the resources of the esteemed, learned, and creative members of TAM.
> 
> What profound, succinct, marital advice would you offer a young couple?
> 
> ...


Those 3 things are very important


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
My bits of advice: 

Never keep score - on anything. Try to fairly divide work and fun, but don't (even in your mind) keep points: "he did X, so I'll do Y, but not Z unless he does W". If things feel unfair, then talk about it in general, not lists.

Don't nag. If someone doesn't want to to something, then leave it, unless it is REALLY important. 

Don't fight over tiny things. If he leaves the toilet set up, who cares. Its OK to fight over things that matter. If she wants 10 pairs of shoes, unless you are in serious financial trouble, that's fine.

Get in and stay in the habit of casual intimacy - A hug or kiss, and an "I love you" should just happen naturally while you are together.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Don't listen to the nut jobs on TAM except me


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Separate bank accounts.


This

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Make sure you both agree on what kind of sex you want. Don't wait until later to see if your into it or not

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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