# How to get over the guilt?



## t10eml (Nov 30, 2012)

Ah, this guilt is killing me. It's almost making me want to continue the relationship just to alleviate the pain and the guilt that I'm going through right now (yes, I know she's probably going through worse than me, though maybe not guilt, she sees herself as the victim).

And yet if I do, it would be to continue just for all the wrong reasons. What kind of relationship is based purely because one person would feel too guilty if he left? Not a very good one.


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## stuckmick (Dec 10, 2011)

Your problem? Seeing her as the "victim". You see, because she is. You probably laugh and deride her for being the victim. Your inability to take responsibility for your actions cause you to be unable to feel her pain, only your own selfish interests. You will soon begin to openly mock her pain. You cry " oh how guilty i feel" looking to be the victim yourself. Well stow it. Be a man, and end it and quit stringing her along. Give her the ability to move on with her life without your sorry ass. If not, then again, man up, commit to fixing your marriage 100%and fix it. May sound harsh. But truth often is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kimberley17 (Oct 10, 2011)

I am in the same boat as you. I feel so guilty it's tearing me up. Anyone?


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## keepthefaith (Nov 24, 2012)

When my stbx and I first separated, I felt extreme guilt and I felt like a failure. In time, and lots of reflection, I realized that although I am not perfect, I am not to blame for our separation and I am not the one who failed. My stbx has stated to me that he is the one that failed and he says that he is sorry for all that he has/is putting me and our boys through. 
When I first began to feel that he was distancing himself from me, I began keeping a journal of his actions and my feelings. Looking back on these has helped me to see things more clearly and to realize that I hold very little blame in all of this. I don't know your story but I can say for me, my guilt has subsided with time.


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