# I can't be the emotional punching bag anymore



## wanttofix

Today was the cherry on top for emotional punching bag action. I work 0530 to 1500 the next day, sleep 1 hour, then do it again. I work two jobs so she doesn't have to work anymore than 2 to 3 hours a day, 4 times a week so she can stay home with our son. 

I come home early today and its attitude, attitude, attitude. Apparently her friend surprised her at 930 and wanted her to babysit for her until 1300. The entire time I am home, it's finding everything wrong in the house that I did wrong or misplaced. I know what's going on here, she is taking out her frustration on me for having to watch someone else's child instead of being able to sleep a couple hours in the morning. But she kept at it until I get to sleep for my 2 hours and off to work. But why am I having to play the translate game to begin with? Then when she gets off of work she had a bad day at work so she cried to me about it. So the trick is to treat me like **** enough that you can cry to me later about your bad day? :scratchhead:

See... there is a history to this. The first point was when we got married.

Before we were married everything was fine. I don't know if she was acting happy go lucky because I was an easy going person or what. But after we got married, and I've told her this, she became a different person. She explained she now has exceptions of me that no one else in her family has to live up to but me... I didn't think anything of it, but then we started having arguments and other bs. She seems to turn everything into an incident. We both worked and yet we never had enough money to save anything?  So we go from one emergency to the next.

The next major incident was while I was unemployed. Just so you as the reader knows, I applied for EVERYTHING. Fast food, walmart, call centers, I mean I applied for everything except prostitution and bars. I literately had 50 applied job emails a day from careerbuilder.

Since I was unemployed, and would drop my education on the chance of a job, I was going to school. While I was studying for a Chemistry major, I would spend all day at the college to avoid the distractions of home. When I got home, we would spend a little time together and then I would play games while she watched her shows. This was fine until she was unemployed... it all went to almost arguing everyday, to a point of saying I spend too much time playing video games and never spending time with her.

So, I am confused here. I spend 8 hours at school, I come home and spend time with her then the last few hours of my day I play games and I never spend time with her? I am not allowed to do anything but do things with her apparently... :scratchhead:

That 6 months, we both off and on just left the house. Then we continued down the rocky road and thought we would try for a child, that would fix our issues. I found an ok job and benefits were good. 

We would be together and be a happy family, sort of. Our child did unchain issues that were holding us back and communication became much easier, but off and on she still decides to use me as an emotional punching bag. I use to get into arguments with her, because she likes that, I would yell, she would manipulate. It was ridiculous. Her tongue is so sharp, she should have been an attorney.

I mean, this is all just the build up. I work hard, I mean I REALLY work hard and this new situation we are in is her fault. She even told me the other day that she feels like she is a roommate. I give hugs, kisses, sex, and love to a roommate? I ask her how her day is when we can see each other and I give her a break from our son on my days off. But I pay rent to a roommate, that's it. I don't love a roommate or have children with a roommate. But I believe this is all apart of "the games she doesn't play." In her words.

I don't know if I can keep up with this treating me like **** in front of my son. I don't want my son to grow up to know our relationship is healthy or normal. I don't want my son to grow up to know a woman can treat you like **** and you're suppose to put up with it or just deal with it because she is a woman. 

I don't know what's really left of this relationship. I am not interested in kicking her to the curb or whatever. I don't know, just tell me what you think. I tried going back and revising the text above to the best of my ability. :thumbup:


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## marriedman321

wanttofix said:


> Today was the cherry on top for emotional punching bag action. I work 0530 to 1500 the next day, sleep 1 hour, then do it again. I work two jobs so she doesn't have to work anymore than 2 to 3 hours a day, 4 times a week so she can stay home with our son.
> 
> I come home early today and its attitude, attitude, attitude. Apparently her friend surprised her at 930 and wanted her to babysit for her until 1300. The entire time I am home, it's finding everything wrong in the house that I did wrong or misplaced. I know what's going on here, she is taking out her frustration on me for having to watch someone else's child instead of being able to sleep a couple hours in the morning. But she kept at it until I get to sleep for my 2 hours and off to work. But why am I having to play the translate game to begin with? Then when she gets off of work she had a bad day at work so she cried to me about it. So the trick is to treat me like **** enough that you can cry to me later about your bad day? :scratchhead:
> 
> See... there is a history to this. The first point was when we got married.
> 
> Before we were married everything was fine. I don't know if she was acting happy go lucky because I was an easy going person or what. But after we got married, and I've told her this, she became a different person. She explained she now has exceptions of me that no one else in her family has to live up to but me... I didn't think anything of it, but then we started having arguments and other bs. She seems to turn everything into an incident. We both worked and yet we never had enough money to save anything?  So we go from one emergency to the next.
> 
> The next major incident was while I was unemployed. Just so you as the reader knows, I applied for EVERYTHING. Fast food, walmart, call centers, I mean I applied for everything except prostitution and bars. I literately had 50 applied job emails a day from careerbuilder.
> 
> Since I was unemployed, and would drop my education on the chance of a job, I was going to school. While I was studying for a Chemistry major, I would spend all day at the college to avoid the distractions of home. When I got home, we would spend a little time together and then I would play games while she watched her shows. This was fine until she was unemployed... it all went to almost arguing everyday, to a point of saying I spend too much time playing video games and never spending time with her.
> 
> So, I am confused here. I spend 8 hours at school, I come home and spend time with her then the last few hours of my day I play games and I never spend time with her? I am not allowed to do anything but do things with her apparently... :scratchhead:
> 
> That 6 months, we both off and on just left the house. Then we continued down the rocky road and thought we would try for a child, that would fix our issues. I found an ok job and benefits were good.
> 
> We would be together and be a happy family, sort of. Our child did unchain issues that were holding us back and communication became much easier, but off and on she still decides to use me as an emotional punching bag. I use to get into arguments with her, because she likes that, I would yell, she would manipulate. It was ridiculous. Her tongue is so sharp, she should have been an attorney.
> 
> I mean, this is all just the build up. I work hard, I mean I REALLY work hard and this new situation we are in is her fault. She even told me the other day that she feels like she is a roommate. I give hugs, kisses, sex, and love to a roommate? I ask her how her day is when we can see each other and I give her a break from our son on my days off. But I pay rent to a roommate, that's it. I don't love a roommate or have children with a roommate. But I believe this is all apart of "the games she doesn't play." In her words.
> 
> I don't know if I can keep up with this treating me like **** in front of my son. I don't want my son to grow up to know our relationship is healthy or normal. I don't want my son to grow up to know a woman can treat you like **** and you're suppose to put up with it or just deal with it because she is a woman.
> 
> I don't know what's really left of this relationship. I am not interested in kicking her to the curb or whatever. I don't know, just tell me what you think. I tried going back and revising the text above to the best of my ability. :thumbup:


Do we have the same wife? I wish I knew the answer. I protected my wife from every financial stress , have free time, home every night, and I cannot talk to her either. I say one thing and it gets twisted into another. She then also yells in front of my 3 yr old son. 

Possibly hormones, narcissism, etc. But you would need to find a new way to deal with her, with more time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wanttofix

MORE time? We have been married for almost 7. How much more time is there? Lol. I know what you mean though. Whenever thoughts of seperation come up I think of all that come with it and majority of the time I just stay grumpy for a week and get over it. I tjink abouy who I have become with her and if staying with a drill sargant is worth it. Id say yes so far. But man, this crap is getting so old. I know if I ended our marriage I would never get into any relationship ever again. Ive been burned way too many times by the female species.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

You sleep 1 hour in a 24 hour period? Perhaps I read that wrong.

She definitely gets overwhelmed and takes it out on you. That's not right or fair. Why did she agree to babysit the kid if it was too much? That's on her, not you, I'm just wondering...

I don't think it's hormones (seriously, women can be this way without hormones and hormones is no excuse to be cruel). Maybe she just isn't happy and this is how it's coming out? I am trying to understand a bit. Maybe she feels she has to be perfect and she's not (no one is) and she thinks you'll notice, and that scares her?

Or maybe she's just a raving lunatic. I don't know. What do you say to her when she treats you this way?


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## wanttofix

I incorrectly stated it. I sleep a total of 3 to 4 hours every 24. Just when I get home, my hour nap is due. I am a polyphasic sleeper. I follow a modified dymaxion schedule. I have been doing this for two year with no issues.

I know she isnt happy, I am not either, but I push it aside and try my hardest to make it better. Today she was sorting our money and she misplaced the empty money envelope. She asks me where it is, I stated I dont drive this car. She freaks out, stop saying, that I am just asking, as she is yelling in the same period. I told her if this is jow it is going to be, take me home, i wont deal with this all day. Magically after 30 min passing the attitude magically passed. I really wish she would go back to work. She can watch him at night and I during the day. I am on a dymaxion schrdulr anyway, so i could sleep when my son does.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wanttofix

I hate this phone ugh. I typed up all this stuff and poof, gone. I made thankless breakfast for both of us and it wasnt up to par, so no thx because of it. She wanted to lay in bed and if that leads to sexytime, not interested. I was with a 1 year old all morning. Not in the mood and I always initiate. She wanted to go out to eat, i said no because we did yesterday. She didnt like that answer. So now because i wont lay with her and sleep, she is laying by herself. I asked if she wanted to do anything else. Nope.....

Still unsure if i can leave. I think she would have to go full psycho like chase me with a weapon or hit me enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58

You're getting 3 or 4 hrs of sleep and don't know what's wrong with your sex life?... Even I can see that one!


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## wanttofix

Precursor from last night. I work nights and was at work. While she was out with her friend, she called me several times that night... SEVERAL. I don't mind her calling a couple times to chat, but she called so many times I got annoyed and expressed that to her. "oh, so you don't want me to call you anymore." She says. As in I don't want her calling me ever again after this point. 

The next day of insanity. I get off of work, I stay up with my son so she can sleep in. We eat some breakfast, change some diapers, and watch a couple episodes of sesame street. He eventually signed eat, milk. I leave him with mom. "Why didn't you stay in bed?" says her. "I knew he would be up in 30 minutes and I let you sleep for a couple hours." says me. I go call a couple auto glass places and one wanted all this information. 

She doesn't like the fact I am going forward with this on both vehicles because she wanted to benefit the most from the cash back program. The thing was I wasn't going forward, I was collecting information for her. She then later states that she told me "I am going to look for auto glass companies after the fourth and take care of it." She never said this. Continually she says she states things but never said them. I have caught her a couple times, but it's hard when you are deemed "forgetful." Of course she was utterly pissed off, so I went to bed because I need to sleep my 4 hours before work, as I am allowed. If I want to sleep anymore, I am lazy.

So I tell her to disconnect poisonous relationships. If that means not having friends or starting over, so be it. This is what I've done and it is hard, but sometimes, painful things have to be done to achieve anything. Today she talked about all this crap with her "friend's" family and all this money they keep trying to get out of people. Look, I don't really care, but she wants to keep this poisonous relationship, I've told her to stop talking to her because it might bite her in the butt. Then another one of her "friends" advised that my son has been ripping up paper books that their daughter likes reading. 

I explained to her I am tired of hearing about this problem. He is one years old and him ripping up books tells me no one is watching him or giving him the opportunity to grab them. If they don't like it, maybe they should stop babysitting him, she should go back to being an at home mom, and quit her job. 

She continues to go on a rant about how she never gets to do anything and she is with screaming kids all the time. I am confused how her job choice involving children is my problem. She could have chose to be a stocker or some other job, but she rather work with more kids. I explained to her " I don't get to do anything I want either. I have to go to jobs I rather not have and never get to just hang out or do anything." says me. "So you're saying I don't do anything?" Says her. "This isn't about you, what I just said is about myself. I have responsibilities I have to fulfill as an adult and those come first before anything else." Says me.

My thought to a solution is for her to go back to working a full time job. Not as a teacher or any job dealing with kids, but working as a stocker, working in the medical industry, something that doesn't involve kids. So she gets a break and gets to experience the adult life. She gets back on her feet. I continue with my current job. We get a divorce. I have my son while she is working during the day, and she gets him while I work at night. We swap weekends. Thoughts on this?


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