# married a psycopath who has completely ruined my life



## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

I married a man who had severe mental health issues all his life. Turned out to be nothing more than a psycopath. Had been through four relationshiips neglected kids everywhere. I feel very angry with myself for having been sucked into his life. He has ended the marriage and is moving on but cant do it fast enough. He has found his next victim. I think he is horrible. Am i right to feel this way?
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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Subi said:


> I married a man who had severe mental health issues all his life. Turned out to be nothing more than a psycopath. Had been through four relationshiips neglected kids everywhere. I feel very angry with myself for having been sucked into his life. He has ended the marriage and is moving on but cant do it fast enough. He has found his next victim. I think he is horrible. Am i right to feel this way?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Right to feel what way? Bad because you married a Psychopath? Don't question it, just be glad he is out of your life and move on. I would suggest therapy for yourself though


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

trey69 said:


> Right to feel what way? Bad because you married a Psychopath? Don't question it, just be glad he is out of your life and move on. I would suggest therapy for yourself though


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

Thanks trey69. I had to go through seven months of intensive therapy as a result of the constant abuse. Knowing his mental status i wonder whether i should be sympathetic but i also know that he is controlling manipulative selfish and mean. He cant stand seeing anyone doing well or be happy. He delights in seeing people worse off. I have received this all along. Never hated anyone so much. He is constantly threatening and bad mouthing me to anyone who cares to listen. Horrible man.
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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Subi said:


> I married a man who had severe mental health issues all his life. Turned out to be nothing more than a psycopath. Had been through four relationshiips neglected kids everywhere. I feel very angry with myself for having been sucked into his life. He has ended the marriage and is moving on but cant do it fast enough. He has found his next victim. I think he is horrible. Am i right to feel this way?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's easy to fall for the charms that people with such tendencies put out there. They tell you want you want to hear and so, you're susceptible. You're not the first person to have been in the situation and you won't be the last. I can tell you this, though, don't make an effort to "save" his next victim, unless you think he's a killer or something; it won't have any effect at all. It really hurts to have been used, but you're not alone in that situation. There are many others who have been in your shoes. Take heart because it means you will survive this.

Please do get counseling for yourself.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

thanks moxy..this forum has really helped me understand my situation better and to feel at ease with the horrible decision that i made to marry him. Once he is out of our lives which i hope is soon i will get counselling for kids as well. Am trying to prepare them for when the time comes. They are aware of what a horriblle person he is. Thanks again.
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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Subi said:


> thanks moxy..this forum has really helped me understand my situation better and to feel at ease with the horrible decision that i made to marry him. Once he is out of our lives which i hope is soon i will get counselling for kids as well. Am trying to prepare them for when the time comes. They are aware of what a horriblle person he is. Thanks again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It wasn't a horrible decision, just something in the past. You have learned from it. Remember that, too. 

Don't dwell on how "horrible" he is. He is who he is and what you learned was that his behavior was not acceptable to you. That means that when you chose to make choices in your life, you will do so with the awareness that certain behaviors won't work for you and your kids. The more you dwell on the negatives, the harder it is to let go of your pain. 

You seem to be certain on your new path, so look ahead and look around you and be in the present on this path. Life will give us what we allow it to, why not let it give you things that delight you?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Subi--sorry to hear of your situation. But loko at the bright side--the divorce will release you from this toxic relationship.

My advice is: do not badmouth him to the kids. I know it sucks and he sucks but be their light/guide and don't do like he's doing. Set an example for your kids.

Think practically: do what you have to do to get the divorce and painlessly as possible. Busy yourself with your kids, hobbies, friends, exercise.


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## Subi (Apr 4, 2012)

thanks jellybeans. The kids have seen him being violent and abusive to me. He also constantly berates them and is physically and verbally abusive to them. They often ask me why he is that way. I dont have an answer but i tell them that they got to love and care for their families when they get them. He uses words like evil criminal to describe the boy. So they know how mean he is both to me and to them.
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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

He sounds really scary! It doesn't sound he is getting any psychiatric help. I would be afraid that he might kill someone.


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## ennadi (Jun 10, 2012)

Personal standard and high taste

for example, if you are the type who had already said you cannot marry a man who does not havea car, house of his own or even works in a big company. Then it becomes a limitation for God. Because when a man in your local government area is the one fit for your life, you can't yield to the leading of God, you will rather ignore him.


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## grenville (Sep 21, 2011)

Subi said:


> Never hated anyone so much. Horrible man.


Seems like you're having an entirely healthy reaction to him, that has to be a good sign.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

ennadi said:


> Personal standard and high taste
> 
> for example, if you are the type who had already said you cannot marry a man who does not havea car, house of his own or even works in a big company. Then it becomes a limitation for God. Because when a man in your local government area is the one fit for your life, you can't yield to the leading of God, you will rather ignore him.


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