# how am I supposed to do this??



## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

I'm really really trying to get through this process and to continue to raise the kids in a healthy way. but, this gf thing has really thrown me for a loop. i'm used to H being out of the house now, almost three months into it, and I was getting used to the idea of divorce. however, the recent discovery of the gf, the lies and the deceit are just almost too much to handle. feel like i got kicked when i was down. how am i supposed to move on and stop the anger and depression?? will there come a day when I just don't care what he's doing or who he's with? i pray for that day to come.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

it will be better, today is better than the first day...tomorrow will be better than last week.

try and see the big picture...you will have good days and bad, but look back...you prob had more good than bad, sure there are set backs, but there are move past its also.

i know it hurts, to think he can move on so quickly, but its not your place to worry about him and what he thinking or feeling, thats the beauty of this process. hes a big boy and he knows whats best for him, and he is not lossing sleep about you.

not being mean, but you are exactly where he left you, get out of the house and go out with friends, or...your mom....thats something to look forward to...but you dont have to tell him where you are going or who you are going with....

thats the beauty about this you dont have to share anything that you are doing...and it will drive him crazy--HA

but seriously..you cannot think about it any more..it will tear you down..it is time for you to do you, get back to things you liked to do. go back to that misic you liked but he didnt, hes not there to bash it now, no9 one will be standing over you sholder if you eat 2 pints of ben & jerrys and the have salad later...its up to you to get back in control of your life.

your life is not over, start livin for you and the kids, this is doing more harm to your kids..they will have more negativity about marraige and divorce if you dont get over it. they will think back to how you couldnt handle it..there will be two time measurements before the divorce and after...

nuff said get out of the house, get back into life..it is hard...just do it...
good luck, i hope i wasnt mean...


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

yes it it tough..25 years here together, 3 kids... and now I go days without talking to her...I don't understand how you can invest that much time together and walk away...it hurts, feel rejected...but she says we can work it out...

All that being said, you'll get stronger...focus on whats best in life, focus on being stronger...spoil yourself...spoil the children some...buy yourself some flowers and take time to smell them...heck, I'm a almost 5o year old dude, and I buy flowers...my 16 year old laughed at me the other day cause I took a bubble bath...but it felt good after a work out...right now, it's all about me...and him...


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