# Need advice



## ac07 (Mar 24, 2014)

My fiancé left about 3 weeks ago. Our wedding was planned for May, although we did get a civil union a few months ago. This was primarily to save more money for the wedding on insurance & we had talked a lot & neither of us had any doubts about getting married. When we got in the fight a few weeks ago, he said he didn't think we had a lot in common, that relationships weren't supposed to be this hard, that he lied to me a lot, & he didn't want kids. I knew at the time he was lying about some stuff, but it is very hard to tell anymore what he is lying about as he has had a lying problem for a long time. I had tried to talk to him about counseling for this in the past but he never wanted to go & still didn't when we had this fight. 

I ended up going to my parents house & I've been staying here since. He went to his parents for a few days but is now back in our apartment. His mom has never liked me (or any of her kids significant others) & stopped talking to him on the phone when I moved in with him 2 years ago. She would tell him reasons why we shouldn't be together & even made up stuff at times. I always saw it as controlling & I thought he did too & wasn't listening to her, but it was apparent that things his mom had said were in his head prior the fight. It didn't help him that he stayed there for 4 days after because she kept telling him reasons why we shouldn't be together. My parents are the complete opposite & were telling me we were married & needed to work on things. 

He texts or calls every day & about 2 weeks after our fight he came to my parents house to talk. He told me that he wants to work on our relationship & he is going to counseling for lying & wants us to go to marriage counseling. He said he sees his mom as controlling & wants to stand up to her finally. I'm still not sure whether to believe everything. I told him that I would give him a few weeks to show me that he is serious and he has gone to one counseling session so far which seems to have helped some. He hasn't told me he loves me, but he has said that he regrets how he handled everything. 

If anyone has any advice on what to do, please let me know. I have looked up a lot of articles online & looked for books as well.


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## oneandonly84 (Mar 29, 2014)

I want to say at least he's trying and it takes courage to work things through, as well as him saying he is having second thoughts. However, lies are lies, he wont stop lying when your married either, asking him why he lies would be better than worrying what he is lying about. His mother will always be his mother, you will never change that, so accept it and move on don't waste your energy trying to beat her cause you wont and it will cause further problems later on.


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