# 23 years gone



## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Well I really don't know what to say. w had commited adultry and does not what to work it out. w has moved on to other guy. I filed first no fault state. Believe it or not first guy is a witness on my behalf. I don't no what will happen in a no fault state. Kids want to stay with me so im fighting for house and what ever the lawyer can get. A friend recommed this site and I can not believe all the same story's out there. My wife lost weight and started getting all the comps. from other guys. I thought our love was stronger than that but it's not. w told me years ago if i ever cheated that my coconuts would be hung from the highest tree. well the shoes have turned. I still very much in love with her but can not trust. Went to the docs and got checked all is good.


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## SoVeryLost (May 14, 2012)

Seems odd to welcome someone to this kind of forum...in a perfect world none of us would have the need for such a forum, but we're not living in a perfect world, clearly. Instead I'll welcome you to a community full of supportive individuals who can all feel your pain. Use the forum and the advice of the people here as a resource to get you through. 

I also live in a no-fault state. I do know from speaking with my lawyer that as far as children are concerned, adultery has no bearing on custody. Unless one of you can prove that the other is an unfit parent, the state will likely award joint, 50/50 custody. The value of the marital home will also likely be split down the middle. You'll either have to sell it and split the proceeds, or one of you will have to buy the other out. So far that's what I've been told by my lawyer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

In some states filing on grounds of adultery will help in the settlement/alimony. Check your state laws.

If you haven't already expose your wife's deed to family/friends/coworkers.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

keko her family know and her friends are the one that condone this type of ill will. Her works knows because my lawyer sent paper work there.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

soverylost thanks for the welcome. i hope to get the house since she moved out and don't want to move back in, but if i sell the house she wants half. no fault state stinks i'm old fashion eye for eye, she tore this family apart and i think she should get nothing as she told me years ago. If i ever cheated on her she would clean my clock.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Make sure you talk to lawyer about some kind of moral clause that will keep the kids away from OM....this is way to confussing for them right now, often there can be time limit to this , like after the D is finalized, or at a certain age, then OM or any OM can meet mommys new BF.

See if you can name current OM for allianation of affection, something that will name current OM in the D paper work.

She has moved out so look at abandonment issues.

I'm no lawyer, just throwing some stuff out there just in case it was missed. maybe this will have no bearing but it would be good to at least have it documented. Especially if the kids are young...years from now you will be going back to court for adjustment in the D and it would be nice to have it formally documented in the original filing, or ammend the filing....


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I hope you have a shark for a lawyer, your STBXW diserves it.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Thanks the guy what is OM? I have not heard of moral clause what is that?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

OM=other man
An order that prevent OM from being around your kids. Our kids to not need to be around any type of behavior that goes on between WW (wayward wife) and OM. You might be able to prevent this so talk to your lawyer...especially if the OM is a convict/felon


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

There are cases were OM prey on women to get to there childern..

Or if there is domestic violence conviction on the OM, then its a behavior you don't want your kids around.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

How long has your WW been gone from the marital home?
What kind of visitation is set up?


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Thanks. btw the kids did say they want to stay with dad so that why im fighting. and yes i have a good lawyer. from what i hear you do not want to be on the other side of this lady.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

she been gone about 3 months, no visitations have been set up. If the kid want to go she mom i have no problem. she takes them to school.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

ididnothingwrong said:


> Thanks. *btw the kids did say they want to stay with dad so that why im fighting*. and yes i have a good lawyer. from what i hear you do not want to be on the other side of this lady.


That's a huge plus, make sure to push as hard as you can for the highest child support you can squeeze.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I have a feeling you will be fine.

Have you prepared your self for when the time comes when she comes begging back for the M (marriage)?

How long has this been going on? This A (affair) I mean.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

No I have not thought about that if she wants to come back. tha affair 1 for about 5 months now there is a #2 guy or 3 guys. well the 2nd guy i talk to and he said its just questions? yea right...


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ya this is still really raw for you, I'm sure you already gave her the "if you do it again I'm divorcing" after OM#1 talk?

This crap has no time line but often the fantasy weres off and the OM bails or WW finds her self in the same kind of relationship she just left and comes crawling back.

Its rare they don't, but often the grass isn't greener on the other side and months from now you have to deal with being her second choice after WW realizes she has screwed up her life and her family.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

ididnothingwrong said:


> No I have not thought about that if she wants to come back. tha affair 1 for about 5 months now there is a #2 guy or 3 guys. well the 2nd guy i talk to and he said its just questions? yea right...


Don't bother thinking about how many guys she's been through or who she's with currently. All you need to know is she was a selfish evil woman that left her husband,kids,family to be banged by other men.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ask your lawyer who her biggest advisery is and go get a consult with them.
Lawyers hate this but it will limit your WW options due to the conflict of interest. Ive heard of guys consulting with several lawyer, there by limiting ther x wives to slow and lazy lawyers that are left in town ( if the town is small enough).


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

yes very evil. no remorse. kids and i are going to be fine. one child is going to collage the other is a sophmore. they relized the wrong doing she did.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

@keko, I'd be really concerned who my kids were around when they visited there mother.

Often serial cheater are on booze and drugs......

Info on OM isn't so much for OP but his kids protection, and a better out come for custody which= less child support.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Even if the kids are older i'd still talk to the lawyer just to cover that base. The sophmore is most likely under 18 so there may be an angle that can be looked at. Especiialy if WW wants over night unsupervised visitation.....your youngest doesn't need to be around her new life style.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

I don't understand? Talk to my lawyer about a clause what does that do? Sorry for not understanding.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you you don't want you youngest around the OM you might beable to prevent it by having it court ordered.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

oooh ok thanks.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sometimes mommy wants her kids to met her new boyfriend even if she still is married. If the betrayed husband doesn't want this to happen then he can prevent it by asking the court that the OM stay away from his children when mommy has her botfriend over night at her new apartment.

This is a real stinger for the betrayed spouse when the kids are real young.

Since your kids are older it may not be needed, my only concern would be the youngest, but even then at 16 yrs old they may beable to stand up to there mom and tell them they aren;t comfortable having moms boyfriend spend the night or take them to Wally World


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Well shes at a so called friends house no room for our kids to stay if she wants too.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

i should say she's at a friends house renting a room. if my dau. if she ever wants to stay there is no room.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Let me guess is this a friend that WW went out with to all the GNO (girls night out) to pick up men?

You mentioned she moved on *to* or *with* OM...is she staying with OM?

Does Om have a wife of GF? Who is this guy?

Granted your WW is a serial cheater, but could expose the A to OM side ie family.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Are you sciket, YES!!!!! I do not know if she is stay with om.. this guy when i called him would not say, om said just anwering questions????? i ran ol ph# though spokeo found nothing spent $15.00 for nothing. LOL


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Well in a slump again. ww and i went to look at stuff for grads party and ww had to memtion a procedure she's getting. I guess tube tied for unprotected S. Why do I care?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

You don't. Find a younger, hotter lady and take her with you whenever you meet your ww. 

She's rubbing her lifestyle all over your face, ignore it.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Thanks keko. I really thought i was over her. well tomorrow is the court date for temp custody. I hope the courts see it my way. but have to relize its a no fault state that stinks. because ww is the one that tore the fam apart and going on like nothing happened....


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

keko I have thought of that. but im still bound by my vows i took 23 years ago believe it of not. I will not stoop to the ww level no matter what. Ill wait till the judge undo's us...


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

ididnothingwrong said:


> Thanks keko. I really thought i was over her. well tomorrow is the court date for temp custody. I hope the courts see it my way. but have to relize its a no fault state that stinks. because ww is the one that tore the fam apart and going on like nothing happened....


Try not to focus on her adultery rather why you're a better parent and why you should have primary custody, etc. etc.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Thanks again. keko.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

No problem, just don't take her behavior personal. She f'd up not you. Make sure your kids know what she really is then go dark on her once the divorce is over. Her lifestyle almost always has a very bad ending and she is in for a harsh wake up call, just dont be her backup plan.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Well my temp orders went well today. have custody and child s and all the house i think it went well today


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good for you! Now go dark as midnight on the b!tch. Get someone else to do the child exchange for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Thanks bandit. I wish it was that easy. I and the ww have to talk about my s grad party. So it's hard to go dark.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

After seeing the ww my thought were darn she is ugly as f..... LOL I hope the best for this new guy or worst maybe both....


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## Tennesseeman (May 21, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Good for you! Now go dark as midnight on the b!tch. Get someone else to do the child exchange for you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bandits right and I'd be better off myself if I listened to his advice. If you can go dark, you'd be better off. Keep her guessing. 

For what its worth, I was married almost 22yrs, together 26yrs....so I'm right here with ya.


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## ididnothingwrong (May 19, 2012)

Well after a long weekend. I had a emotional breakdown if you say. Why me? The person you trusted and then you hate the ww. What went wrong? Then went dark on her. But of course she found me. Sorry i'm all over the place.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Keep it together! (for the kids--and your---sake)


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