# guys help this women please?! (HELP!)



## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

ok me and my husband have been separated for 2 months now and well we became friends last week again after having a rough week of hateful remarks from his end and well last friday my husband came over to spend time with our son and well we ended up having sex and after that we were kissing eachother and stuff until he left to go home but he had told me there were no feelings involved and it hurt a first but then i didnt care and well the next day we met again and had sex and after he was kissing me before he left and i didnt ask if there were any emotions involved because i already knew the answer well after friday hes been texting me a lot and well monday he got paid and he hasnt bought me anything since before we split up and he ended up asking me if i needed cigs and he got me some and brought them to me and then went back to work then we texted the rest of the day then the next day he came over again in the morning and well he was being very playful with me and he even kissed me on the cheek while trying to tickle me and then after that he asked me if i wanted to go to the store with him and so we went and he knew i needed new ear phones so he told me to get some and i told him it was ok that he didnt need to buy me any and well he told me to get some exspensive ones and that he would buy and he kept insisting so i got them and he even bought me a candy cause he knows how much i love candy haha anyways i stayed for a bit after at the store cause i was gunna get an application and he waited inside with me instead of waiting in the car which was sweet of him and after we left and we got to my place he had to go get ready for work and so he said goodbye to our son and then he said goodbye to me and hugged me and then he kissed me and then i was like another one and then he kissed me again and smiled then he started to act silly before he left and did a dance he knows makes me laugh hard and then he took off and idk what his deal is i mean im not letting it get to me but what im confused about is all this affection is coming from a guy who said he didnt love me anymore and had no feelings from me at all.

what is he doing?

if any guy out there can answer this for me i would highly appreciate it!
thank you for reading!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Reminds me of my player days, give the lady the impression "no strings attached" while spoiling her with affection, like seducing a woman then telling her not to fall for you, it's a rather cruel game. I'm not sure if he's doing that however. If it's not what you want though I would suggest you cut it off even if it makes you feel good. He doesn't seem to be allowing you to move on like this.


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## jodyb (Dec 8, 2011)

Sounds like he wants the friends with benefits thing but the fact is he's married to you and maybe is not quite as mature as you are. Best thing to do is sit down with a counselor that is if he would agree to it.


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Reminds me of my player days, give the lady the impression "no strings attached" while spoiling her with affection, like seducing a woman then telling her not to fall for you, it's a rather cruel game. I'm not sure if he's doing that however. If it's not what you want though I would suggest you cut it off even if it makes you feel good. He doesn't seem to be allowing you to move on like this.


Dude, I am impressed. This is the first clear post I have read from you since I have joined. I wish you were this clear all the time....:smthumbup:


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm not exactly clear with my own issues because it does get very complicated to the point I don't even know how to explain it clearly enough. Stuff like this though, easy to share my own experiences.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Sounds like you are his booty call. He knows he can get it from you whenever he wants.

If you're ok with that, keep having meaningless sex. If you think he's going to love you or respect you again if you let him have your vagina, you are going to be extremely hurt.

A decent man wouldn't use his wife as a blow-up doll. He outright told you there's no feeling involved. You approve of his actions by continuing to let him take advantage of you.

You lack self-respect and pride to stop it. Why do you not feel worthy enough to be in a committed loving relationship? You will only get the respect from a man that you demand. Right now, you are demanding very little, and so you will get little respect.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

thanks so much guys! 
im keeping my distance from him because i know this isnt a means of reconciliation from his end.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

im kinda pissed off knowing i let myself be stupid till i finally got that he was using me i mean i dont know for sure but im just going to say hes using me and thats messed up! 

im gunna break his face tomorrow  jk but tomorrow he was all like im gunna go over and we can all chill (him, me and our son) i was like yeah whatever i dont care lol


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

xxPsychoKatxx said:


> im kinda pissed off knowing i let myself be stupid till i finally got that he was using me i mean i dont know for sure but im just going to say hes using me and thats messed up!
> 
> im gunna break his face tomorrow  jk but tomorrow he was all like im gunna go over and we can all chill (him, me and our son) i was like yeah whatever i dont care lol


I know for sure, he's using you, if you don't see that you are naive. Also, letting him come over and "just chill" is a dumb idea, since you are obviously still attached to him emotionally.

It sends a bad signal to your son that men can use women for sex and that women are doormats. Have some self-respect.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

i do have respect for myself, we only had sex a few times and both times my mind was really confused but after that this whole week has been mind boggling, hes been wanting to hang out more and has been texting me all the time and has been very sweet and kinda loving towards me and he's even admitted that he cares about me and right now my living situation isnt very great so i am living with my In Laws and so if my husband comes around its either i leave or stay here and endure time with him and hes even been inviting me to stores with him and he has even kissed me in public, he texted me today saying he felt sick today and i didnt reply and then 4 mins later another text came in saying he was going to come by right after work and spend the whole day here with us and really i think i might just leave. 

plus i dont wanna be mean but ive been with this man for 4 years and we have lived together the whole time, if this was another dude i was talking about that i was randomly having sex with then yeah i'd understand the whole "have some self respect" shizz but this guy has been my everything for 4 damn years lol what i really need is maybe a mind erasing pill that can make me stop loving him and then maybe id have some self respect.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

He's keeping you chained, if he wants the pleasure of having you - best he get himself re-commited. For now he's just enjoying you without the commitments, not a bad deal for him. It depends really on what you want in the end, whether you're satisfied just being his f--kbuddy or not.

I played similar games with women in the past, and even tried it on my wife before. Only difference is with my wife I ended up re-committing myself to her each time, she really knew how to turn the tables on me back in the day.



> lol what i really need is maybe a mind erasing pill that can make me stop loving him and then maybe id have some self respect.


Just take a step back and look at yourself from a 3rd person perspective, and what do you see?


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> He's keeping you chained, if he wants the pleasure of having you - best he get himself re-commited. For now he's just enjoying you without the commitments, not a bad deal for him. It depends really on what you want in the end, whether you're satisfied just being his f--kbuddy or not.
> 
> I played similar games with women in the past, and even tried it on my wife before. Only difference is with my wife I ended up re-committing myself to her each time, she really knew how to turn the tables on me back in the day.
> 
> ...


thank you and i really dont wanna be his f-buddy, i just wanna be friends and really ive been doing very well with this so far, i dont text him at all, hes always texting me and i always keep responses short but he ends up still replying and hes been using a lot of happy faces in his texts which is weird, i understand yeah i guess i wasnt really looking at myself like other people look at me, hes right i do need some self respect and not fall into these games, my husband has always commited himself to me in the past also when he would play this on me.

i gotta ask tho, in what waay or how did your wife turn the tables on you? i would really love to turn the tables on my husband now that hes showing emotion towards me so he can see im not playing these games anymore, i will admit at first i was going crazy about this but right now im very irritated and i wanna give him a taste of his own medicine but i dont wanna be mean to him i just want him to see that im not falling for it and that if hes doing this to use me then he needs to stop it.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

COguy im sorry for kinda getting upset about the self respect thing i just didnt wanna admit to myself that i did lack self respect and pride.

as for right now since i last posted this tho i think i have gain a bit of both, i now just kinda blow him off in a way that i wasnt at first.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Cigarettes and earphones...sounds like a cheap enough date/bootycall. Not quite diamonds and pearls, but whatever works for you, I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> Cigarettes and earphones...sounds like a cheap enough date/bootycall. Not quite diamonds and pearls, but whatever works for you, I guess.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL!! i see what you mean, i look a little stupid but put that aside hes gotten me an ipod touch, laptops, clothes, shoes, purses, games, glasses, and he even offered to buy me another ipod touch after the first one he got me crapped out lol so cig's and earphones are a start seeing as were not together right now.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It was her attitude mainly, and it was consistent. We were friends for a year before we even ended up as bf/gf, but even then, she was hesitant because she didn't want to be a rebound. I had to prove myself over my ex, and same case when we broke up and I wanted to use her, she didn't want to be my f--kbuddy, and I had to earn my way back with her.

And yes, she did give me back my own medicine. I was very affectionate but did not want to become re-committed, she didn't indulge me, she refused to be controlled by me. At the same time she gave me "incentives" to become re-committed to her, and she didn't even have to put out. It was a change from being used to women spreading their legs for me hoping I would love them heh.

However, she did tease me, and she did it well. Turned me on but never gave in to me until she got what she wanted. She also made me jealous by reminding me I had competition - but of course, she kept her bases covered, so I could not accuse her of it. Over the years I also learnt much from her.

In the end her stubborness and pride I learnt to respect, and each time I just fall back in love with her. It can be manipulative, but as I was once a player, no other type of woman can collar folks like me.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> It was her attitude mainly, and it was consistent. We were friends for a year before we even ended up as bf/gf, but even then, she was hesitant because she didn't want to be a rebound. I had to prove myself over my ex, and same case when we broke up and I wanted to use her, she didn't want to be my f--kbuddy, and I had to earn my way back with her.
> 
> And yes, she did give me back my own medicine. I was very affectionate but did not want to become re-committed, she didn't indulge me, she refused to be controlled by me. At the same time she gave me "incentives" to become re-committed to her, and she didn't even have to put out. It was a change from being used to women spreading their legs for me hoping I would love them heh.
> 
> ...


i understand, yeah even tho my husband has been doing this i dont bother him or text him about us getting together or even ask him why he is acting this way because i realized when i was too needy or wanted to talk about our relationship he would always move farther from me then closer so im really just going with the flow of things plus hes very hard headed, once he has his mind set on something it takes a while for him realize weather he did the right thing or the wrong thing.

i kinda think im doing the 180 thing on him without really realizing it.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

You're not doing the 180 if you're giving him what he wants (sex), and he is giving you nothing (committment).

The spending time with you, telling you he likes you, buying things for you IS A GAME. He's doing it because he knows you'll fall for it and give in to him. He'll tell you whatever you want to hear to get his time in the sack. The guy is the lowest life form on the planet. You're enabling him though.

Here's a plan to see if he REALLY cares about you. Tell him you're not going to have sex with him anymore, ever again, and stick to it for a few months. If he still hangs around and buys you things and tells you he cares about you, then I'll eat my underwear.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

COguy said:


> You're not doing the 180 if you're giving him what he wants (sex), and he is giving you nothing (committment).
> 
> The spending time with you, telling you he likes you, buying things for you IS A GAME. He's doing it because he knows you'll fall for it and give in to him. He'll tell you whatever you want to hear to get his time in the sack. The guy is the lowest life form on the planet. You're enabling him though.
> 
> Here's a plan to see if he REALLY cares about you. Tell him you're not going to have sex with him anymore, ever again, and stick to it for a few months. If he still hangs around and buys you things and tells you he cares about you, then I'll eat my underwear.


lol yeah i see what your saying, since the last time it happened like almost a week ago he hasnt even mentioned sex anymore, we usually just talk about regular things and he sometimes asks me if im seeing or talking to anyone and i just tell him its none of his business lol the whole sex thing with us was kinda like a spontaneous moment on both our ends, but if he does mention it in the future i will be sure to say no lol!


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

hey guys!
thanks so much for helping me out through all this, i told my ex that i didnt want him to be playing with me like this anymore and he told me he was sorry that he didnt know why he did it and i told him that the only way i would want him to do all that is if he wanted to get back together or had feelings for me again and he told me ok and i told him that when we get our income tax that we would file for divorce with that, im done trying to save this marriage and i finally give up and im standing up for myself and im going to be independent and take care of myself and my son the best i can!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh, I knew it, and he admitted it :rofl:

Anyways that will really f--k with his head, the ball is now on his court, he now is confronted by a strong woman who is yet still reasonable enough to give him the option of making up and recommitting himself to making it work. But if not, she will move on regardless of him. Ball is most definitely on his court.

Well done, and you have my respect for what you did. Be ready if his choice is to go on without you however, always be ready for that. If it happens and you two end up back together, it's meant to be, if not, never allow yourself to be used.

Be ready for whatever comes. You have shown that you have a backbone, keep it strong.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Heh, I knew it, and he admitted it :rofl:
> 
> Anyways that will really f--k with his head, the ball is now on his court, he now is confronted by a strong woman who is yet still reasonable enough to give him the option of making up and recommitting himself to making it work. But if not, she will move on regardless of him. Ball is most definitely on his court.
> 
> ...


haha! thank you!

i told him that if we never get back together so be it but that i give up on this marriage and he said he felt like a **** and i told him oh well i give up so thats all and he said well cheer up.

what an a hole! 

oh well time to ignore him.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

No problem 

Remember though, my wife succeeded in collaring me because she remained reasonable, and she always held the moral high ground in the past. But I knew she was strong enough to move on if I would give up. You now have a lot of power, use it wisely. His emotions and thoughts are now twisted, lead him to the light, but don't take him there, let him see it and choose. 

Like strapping a rabbit to a pole and leading a greyhound to run around in circles.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> No problem
> 
> Remember though, my wife succeeded in collaring me because she remained reasonable, and she always held the moral high ground in the past. But I knew she was strong enough to move on if I would give up. You now have a lot of power, use it wisely. His emotions and thoughts are now twisted, lead him to the light, but don't take him there, let him see it and choose.
> 
> Like strapping a rabbit to a pole and leading a greyhound to run around in circles.


LOL!

yeah, he just made a comment on how i can get a new guy really fast and he said that he couldnt even get a girl that fast even if he tried haha he knows that a lot of guys want to be with me and i dont rub it in his face or anything but i told him that unless he wants to get back together then im giving up and moving on.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:rofl:

Oh hell I'm too proud to ever admit that to my wife back in the day but I knew it lol

You sly little fox you  Hehehe! Give him some time, keep up what you're doing, and personally I'm impressed you made it this far already. Oh... there may be a counter game, but I don't know if he's smart enough to play it, but as long as you keep to this you'll be fine.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

COguy said:


> Sounds like you are his booty call. He knows he can get it from you whenever he wants.
> 
> If you're ok with that, keep having meaningless sex. If you think he's going to love you or respect you again if you let him have your vagina, you are going to be extremely hurt.
> 
> ...


This is 100% on point, IMHO.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Oh hell I'm too proud to ever admit that to my wife back in the day but I knew it lol
> 
> You sly little fox you  Hehehe! Give him some time, keep up what you're doing, and personally I'm impressed you made it this far already. Oh... there may be a counter game, but I don't know if he's smart enough to play it, but as long as you keep to this you'll be fine.


thanks but im pretty sure our marriage is over for good this time.
he's not coming back but i am still gunna go on with this and my life and when the divorce is final then ill be able to forget him unless its about our son.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, you know your circumstances better then anyone here.

Be strong, always, and you'll find someone who will appreciate that strength and respect you. Maybe it ain't your ex, maybe it will be depending on his actions now, but trust me, there are also a lot of men who are tired of weak women, and desire a woman who they can respect.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I'm glad you finally started respecting yourself enough to deserve better treatment. Remember that you'll only ever get the respect that you command. You owe it to yourself and your son to be in a loving, caring relationship.

If your husband wants to make it work, don't accept his words, make him prove it with actions. Make sure he knows up front you won't be giving him "the goods" and stick to it for a long enough time to know that that isn't the only thing he's after (probably a month at least, maybe two). That way you know he's sincere.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

thanks guys! im so glad that you were here to talk some sense into me, im going to move back to my town and live with my parents till i can get up on my feet to get my own place and everything.
im sorry but as much as i love my husband he doesnt deserve anything ive ever done for him and he certainly doesnt deserve my love ever again, its his choice now to wanna get back together and if it doesnt happen before we get divorced and he decides to do it after one day then i hope he is prepared to be let down and unless he shows me he means it with actions like COguy said then he wont be getting anything from me and hopefully by then i meet someone who does treat me right and then i can blow my ex off just like he always did to me.

im finally done with his crap, i put up with it for far too long and every time he came crawling back and i always took him back but this time its not gunna happen at least not just like that.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

also ive decided to move tomorrow! 

im blowing this pop stand and starting new!

my ex will regret this and this time i wont be there to make him feel better.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

You have no reason to apologise, you're standing up for yourself.

And yes, I know you still love him from your posts, but you seem to be learning very quickly of the fact that if you simply don't love yourself first - you are not in a good position to love someone else. Same case as the women in my past, they didn't love themselves, they threw themselves feet first at me desperately, I couldn't respect them, and hence I could not love them.

Be strong, but don't harden yourself too much, but hell what am I saying, you've already left him a "golden gap", ball's on his court. You're doing everything right so far, I just hope you keep this up, because any inconsistency will break this.

As I said before when I mentioned my wife - she was - CONSISTENT


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Anyways the reason I mentioned consistency is because I feel a lot of emotional response in this decision of yours based on your posts and tone. You want to be respected, you want to be treated as a woman, yet deep inside you still love him.

It's difficult, but make your decisions clearly with your head, not your heart. I just hope that is what you are doing that's all


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

you're right i shouldnt apologize and i have every right to feel this way especially when i was dumped out of the blue, i do love him but im seriously tired of this, ive endured so much from this guy for 4 years and everytime i stood by him and i was there when he needed me but not this time and certainly not now, in past relationships i was a real hard azz and they still wanted me even tho i was like that but with him it was totally different but im just going to have to give him the same treatment so he can see that im not always going to be there and that he cant control me anymore.
i did give him a golden ticket by leaving the ball in his court but will he take it and when he does will it be too late? we cant really tell because things always seem to change but i am definitely not going to keep any hope up and im not going to put my love life on hold for him anymore.

he found out im leaving and he texted me asking when i was leaving and i told him tomorrow and he never replied back, once im gone im going NC and his parents already told me they would get in touch with me to pick up our son so i can do with the NC for a bit so he can see im not afraid to move on and that i dont need to talk to him ever second of my life.

i know lots of people post things out of the heat of the moment or because they are feeling hurt and emotional then end up contradicting themselves but this time im not talking from my emotions, im talking from being so tired of all this crap that i am finally giving up.

hopefully im doing the right thing.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

btw RandomDude thank you so much for all the support!! i was in much need for it!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

xxPsychoKatxx said:


> you're right i shouldnt apologize and i have every right to feel this way especially when i was dumped out of the blue, i do love him but im seriously tired of this, ive endured so much from this guy for 4 years and everytime i stood by him and i was there when he needed me but not this time and certainly not now, in past relationships i was a real hard azz and they still wanted me even tho i was like that but with him it was totally different but im just going to have to give him the same treatment so he can see that im not always going to be there and that he cant control me anymore.
> i did give him a golden ticket by leaving the ball in his court but will he take it and when he does will it be too late? we cant really tell because things always seem to change but i am definitely not going to keep any hope up and im not going to put my love life on hold for him anymore.


Looks like you've "womaned up" 



> he found out im leaving and he texted me asking when i was leaving and i told him tomorrow and he never replied back, once im gone im going NC and his parents already told me they would get in touch with me to pick up our son so i can do with the NC for a bit so he can see im not afraid to move on and that i dont need to talk to him ever second of my life.


Erm... the ultimatum thing, not so such about that however =/
This is rather... sudden (ONE DAY!)... it's like leaving a golden gap then suddenly closing it before one has the time to make it through you see. But I do believe regardless that you need a break from all this.



> i know lots of people post things out of the heat of the moment or because they are feeling hurt and emotional then end up contradicting themselves but this time im not talking from my emotions, im talking from being so tired of all this crap that i am finally giving up.


Anger and frustration is still from the heart 
But I'm not saying becoming a machine, you will still feel it, take it as *signals*, but don't follow them blindly.

You are doing the right thing, only thing I disagree about at this point is the rather sudden ultimatum =/
It can still work but it's really a VERY risky initiative. Then again, come to think of it, my wife was never afraid to take the risk, she would accept nothing but what she wanted.



> btw RandomDude thank you so much for all the support!! i was in much need for it!


Anytime, surprised you are listening to an ex-player of all things however lol

EDIT: I just had to say this actually, in regards to my wife taking the risk - she only "closed the gap" to speed me up, never to intice me to go through the gap, she already had me heading towards that direction before such ultimatums.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

i feel good to have put my foot down and not let myself be a door mat to him anymore, i would have done almost anything for this guy thats how much i loved him but ive just grown so tired of his antics and how he only seems to think about only himself instead of his family.
ive been planning to move for 2 weeks already and he knew about it but when it seemed like things were looking up i canceled the move but then i realized i was just being played with and there wasnt really any real emotion in all this.
his parents dont want me to leave, my in laws really love me and they think my husband is an idiot for doing all this but theyre not going to change his mind either but im going to wait 1 more week before i go so they can have more time with my son.

im going NC as of now with my husband, i dont think he deserves for me to speak to him after toying with me this past week and i know he will be blowing up my phone wondering about me but how can i speak to a person who really messed me over, its gunna take some time for me to put that hurt and anger aside but im not going to take it out on him, all im gunna do is stay quiet and ignore him.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

im stuck in a very emotional place right now, my husband told me that he only cared about me as a friend and thats all.
so heart broken but oh well.
i put my foot down and told him there was no way in hell id ever take him back, no way in hell.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, I guess that settles it then, it seems you have been friend-zoned. Guess it's a little too late to change, just as a nice guy who everyone knows as a nice guy will never be a bad boy, I learnt that while giving advice to my mates struggling with women.

It's unfortunate that it turned out like this but you did what you could, in future however remember this lesson. I hate to spring this on you right now but...

Never EVER again give a man everything, never let him think that he owns you, never be reliant on him for your own self-esteem, never EVER be a doormat. I can't speak for all men but I have to admit this, I can be friendly to women sure, but respect? No... that's earned. And love? That can only come with respect.

If I was to compare my ex with my wife (where I had an emotional affair with my wife driving my ex insane), no amount of lovey doveys on my ex's part kept me loyal. She gave me everything I wanted, she wanted me, WAY TOO MUCH, no space, no freedom, she suspected everything, checked my phone numbers, clawed at "harpies", scolded me for even talking with other women, threatened to kill herself and emotionally blackmailed me. Did I love her? I loved her only out of PITY.

Was that truly love? Or selfishness? If it was love, why was I drawn away? I was seduced by a woman who respected my space, my privacy, my freedom, and respected herself despite my games with that backbone of hers that made her strong enough to convince me over the years that she's no weakly little girl, but a woman who I could TRUST and respect by my side.

I wish you the best, and hope you take these lessons to heart.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

Thank you and I was never clingy with my husband I would always let him do whatever he wanted and I didn't care but if he wanted something from me I was there for him through it all but after the split we became friends and I was content with that because it was good for the sake of our son and I told him some things I could trust him with and he went around telling people things and I told him "you wanna be my friend but then you go around telling people about my personal life when I told him I didn't want people to know." he texted me this bull **** story this morning saying sorry and that someone broke into his house lol maybe it was karma coming to bit him in the ass for abandoning me and our son and leaving us with no money or a home, lol I told him that I don't need fake ass people as friends and I told him he will never hear from me again lol I don't wanna lose the rest of the stuff I have left for a fake ass person lol I have no respect for fake ass people and I sure as hell don't stay friends with them either lol he was trying to make me feel sorry for him? Ha I don't care about him anymore. Bring on the divorce I'm more then ready for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I never knew he just abandoned you and your son just like that, seems like he never really wanted commitment or responsibility judging by his pattern. Unfortunately it will be impossible to cut him off completely, you can limit contact but that's about it, let him pick up your son on an odd day and that's about it.

You're doing fine it seems, but do let it go from time to time when you're by yourself and you're feeling hurt. You're doing the right thing for yourself. He sounds like a boy to be honest.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> I never knew he just abandoned you and your son just like that, seems like he never really wanted commitment or responsibility judging by his pattern. Unfortunately it will be impossible to cut him off completely, you can limit contact but that's about it, let him pick up your son on an odd day and that's about it.
> 
> You're doing fine it seems, but do let it go from time to time when you're by yourself and you're feeling hurt. You're doing the right thing for yourself. He sounds like a boy to be honest.


there will never be any way i could cut him out of my life but in a way i can because my in laws told me that they would pick up our son and take him to spend time with him and them and to me thats a great idea, when we got together he was an amazing person and even after we got married he was still the same amazing person i fell in love with but all of a sudden i have no idea what happened to him but he changed completely like i couldnt even recognize the man i fell in love with anymore but even tho i saw change in him i still loved him because well you should stop loving a person even if they seem to change but i just couldnt save us or what we had and i even tried being friends with him until he showed me how fake of a person he actually turned into.
growing up i always had problems keeping friends because mostly every one of them would end up betraying me in some way which hurt a lot and after that i would never talk to them again and sometimes if they did apologize then yeah i would forgive them but there is no way in hell id forgive my husband again and especially for what he did to me and how he did it, maybe if one day he grows up and works hard to earn my forgiveness and respect again then yeah but i am totally in a whole different state of mind now.

my husband is dating a women who is married and has 2 kids, her husband works at the oil rigs and is never home and well she told my husband that her and her husband are separated but i had done some snooping and saw that she had commented a picture of a sunset her husband had posted while she was seeing my husband saying she wished she was there to see it with him, i showed it to my husband and he got upset and confronted her about it and whe ended up telling him that it was just an act she was putting on for her husbands family but what was odd was that her husband only had 50 friends on his facebook and none of them were his family and i told my husband and he said he was gunna keep his guard up about it which was stupid and i know for sure her and her husband are still together so i went and sent her husband a message on facebook informing him of everything she is doing with my husband and all the lies shes feeding my husband and well he hasnt seem to have gotten on to read it yet but im really wondering whats going to happen when he does read it.
i thought her husband had the right to know what his wife is doing behind his back while hes out there working his ass off for the house she lives in and the car she has and all the money he gives her.

did i do the right thing?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Whao! Wish you can send a camera to the oil rig to see that man's reaction, but then again, he would most likely expect it anyways as they are both seperated. Heh you might want to put up sandbags on your house however, just to be safe 

However, this can also be seen as an act of jealousy on your part =/
That's the only thing... and that's not good


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Whao! Wish you can send a camera to the oil rig to see that man's reaction, but then again, he would most likely expect it anyways as they are both seperated. Heh you might want to put up sandbags on your house however, just to be safe
> 
> However, this can also be seen as an act of jealousy on your part =/
> That's the only thing... and that's not good


the thing is the poor guy doesnt even know about her doing this, she is cheating on her husband with my husband.
my husband doesnt post stuff on her facebook at all but shes always posting stuff on my husbands facebook and on her facebook she has pictures of her husband and her family and my husband is an idiot lol its not an act of jealousy at all, its so that this poor guy know what his wife is doing while hes away at work, her and her husband are not separated at all and her sister in law is always commenting on her facebook like theyre all best friends and im pretty sure if her and her husband werent together and they knew she was seeing my husband id dont think her SIL would be bff's with the girl, she never even posts things about my husband or being with my husband at all on her face book, no tell me if that doesnt look suspicious?

i think i did the right thing letting this man know his wife is having an affair with someone whos already married also and has a family with someone.

im so glad to have you here to help me through this RandomDude!

as soon as i get a response back i will let you all know more.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ah, I see, then yeah, he deserves to know. He might probably end up here on all things, once again another thread on the infidelity section!

And we may know it's not jealousy, but others may still suspect it you see, that's all. But let others think what they want I guess.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Ah, I see, then yeah, he deserves to know. He might probably end up here on all things, once again another thread on the infidelity section!
> 
> And we may know it's not jealousy, but others may still suspect it you see, that's all. But let others think what they want I guess.


haha yeah seriously i have no emotion towards my husband after what he did to me.

im never down with fake people who back stab you lol i thought i could trust him since he wasnt only my husband but my bestfriend but i want nothing to do with his ass anymore.

i feel sorry for him.

i have progressed so much from when i first posted this thread!
thank you all!


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Ah, I see, then yeah, he deserves to know. He might probably end up here on all things, once again another thread on the infidelity section!
> 
> And we may know it's not jealousy, but others may still suspect it you see, that's all. But let others think what they want I guess.


yeah i told him to not let them know who told him and hopefully when he reads it he does something about it.

mt husband messed up really bad and this time i dont think i will ever forgive him, bring on the divorce papers and i cant wait for it all to be finalized because if he can stab my back like this then what makes me think he wont do it again in the future, i would have dont anything for him and i was always there for him when he had nothing and i guess that didnt mean **** to him.

i know for a fact he will regret this and he will indeed try to talk to me and apologize but i will never forgive him and this feeling that i have is the worst feeling ever because i never thought i would feel this way for him, i feel nothing anymore and im glad he did this to me because he showed me who he really can be and i want nothing to do with him again only unless its about our son.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

You reminded me of a song... what was it... oh that's right, here it is:

you made me stronger - YouTube

You'll be fine


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> You reminded me of a song... what was it... oh that's right, here it is:
> 
> you made me stronger - YouTube
> 
> You'll be fine


oh that was such a beautiful song!
i really do believe my life with him ended so that i can start a new and better one for me and my son.

i know ill be fine now that hes not here to bring me down and keeping me from what i want to do in life and ill feel sorry for him when he realizes all the good he lost.


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## Jazzercise (Dec 9, 2011)

I went thru this with my husband when we separated for 4 months years ago. he had so much anger and resentment built up towards me and just went off on me for a week or so. Then, he says he had a moment of clarity and realized his problems weren't my fault...they were his own. Of course he didn't say this until we were back together and working things out. After our peak of hatred towards eachother he suddenly acted just like your husband is now. Women express love verbally, men do it physically. lol! That's why women need love for sex, men need sex for love. It sounds stupid but it's true. He's not as shallow as he wants you to think. 

He has tons of feelings and emotions swimming around just like you do, he just doesn't show them the same. If your recently separated husband is all over you and being sweet, he is trying to make the decision to get back together with you or not (but is leaning towards being with you). Don't ask him all of the questions and clarifications that I'm sure are killing you right now. Just let it play out, keep your guard up so you don't get hurt, and roll with it. If you want to work things out, let him come to you. If you don't, tell him to buzz off. But in the end, he is answering your questions with actions rather than words.

p.s. my hubby and I have been back together for about 5 years now.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

Jazzercise said:


> I went thru this with my husband when we separated for 4 months years ago. he had so much anger and resentment built up towards me and just went off on me for a week or so. Then, he says he had a moment of clarity and realized his problems weren't my fault...they were his own. Of course he didn't say this until we were back together and working things out. After our peak of hatred towards eachother he suddenly acted just like your husband is now. Women express love verbally, men do it physically. lol! That's why women need love for sex, men need sex for love. It sounds stupid but it's true. He's not as shallow as he wants you to think.
> 
> He has tons of feelings and emotions swimming around just like you do, he just doesn't show them the same. If your recently separated husband is all over you and being sweet, he is trying to make the decision to get back together with you or not (but is leaning towards being with you). Don't ask him all of the questions and clarifications that I'm sure are killing you right now. Just let it play out, keep your guard up so you don't get hurt, and roll with it. If you want to work things out, let him come to you. If you don't, tell him to buzz off. But in the end, he is answering your questions with actions rather than words.
> 
> p.s. my hubby and I have been back together for about 5 years now.


thank you for this, some people on here can be very disrespectful with their comments but yeah i mean i will never know how he feels but right now i dont really want anything to do with hium right now, maybe later on when things have cooled down but right now i dont even want to know hes around.
ive never gotten to this point with my husband and its pretty sad that i feel like this because i never feel like this unless you really messed up so who knows what will happen but im glad you and your husband worked things out, thats always the best feeling in the world!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I thought that too at first but considering he friendzoned OP and then started dating a married woman, kinda breaks the theory.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

yup, stuck in the friendzone but too bad for him im not his friend anymore and prolly never will be again.


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