# Can you love someone so much then nothing??



## thirdmoon (Sep 3, 2011)

Hi,

I am still trying to find out, what is it about....About the man I am loving.
He changed his life for me, was so in love, told me about future together, that I was different....and for month, 7 months, then he doesn't know anymore if he is loving me.
He is depressed and taking medication, we are not living together and since 2 months, things between us are very distant. I just don't know...he seems to have issues and doesn't love himself...and I am just lost...I do not know if the man I met was him or if he is now, very dark, negative...
I got "burn out" myself. Just some days, I am hoping and some I am lost. Any advice? Thank you so much!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Some people are so ill and so consumed by their own demons its all they can do just to hold on to a shred of sanity. When they are in these dark places (sometimes very often) they have nothing to give anyone else. My heart bleeds for such people but I wouldn't recommmend anyone getting involved in a relationship with one.


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## thirdmoon (Sep 3, 2011)

Thank you unbelievable.
I feel I am consuming my time trying to understand what is depression. And I do not know which one he has, just knowing that he is taking medication since 3 weeks and seeing a psy. But the guy i met was calling me sending me plenty of email per day, wanted to spend even 5mn with me, he separated his wife, he was talking about us...he is older, than me, 17 years older. But, now I am wondering maybe he just never loved me and was just an exaltation from him, even if I am thinking he was sincere, maybe he though he was loving me. And, it's sad because I can't help him, if he is sick, my therapist told me I can't fix him and so I told him I am loving him and will wait until he is better and that I will stay but sometimes I just not hoping anymore. It's so hard, not knowing...everything I am asking he is just replying "I don't know". Any more advice or stories would help me. Thank you.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

thirdmoon said:


> Hi,
> 
> I am still trying to find out, what is it about....About the man I am loving.
> He changed his life for me, was so in love, told me about future together, that I was different....and for month, 7 months, then he doesn't know anymore if he is loving me.
> ...


I wondered the same thing about my situation. How can you love somebody so much and then stop? My x wife asked for a divorce last year, which we got, because she wasn't happy anymore. There were no major issues like abuse or cheating. Apparently, I just wasn't as exciting after 18 years and she needed to move on.

I looked back on our relationship and thought about how she pursued me and acted like she just had to have me. She acted so crazy about me and seemed so happy. So, how do you stop loving someone after being so in-love with them? I don't know.

Perhaps we should have written our own vows and hers should have been something like, "till death do us part, unless you get boring after two decades and children, then I'm gone."


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