# Do feelings alone constitute an EA



## meson (May 19, 2011)

Are emotions or feelings for someone other than my spouse enough for it to be called an EA? Does this really hold up? What about relatives? I don’t think anyone would consider my feelings for my sister or mom an EA unless I relied upon them for emotional support more so than my wife. What about reciprocation? Doesn’t an affair require both parties to be invested? I agree that if I am in love with someone more than my wife that’s a problem but if the other person doesn’t know, is it an affair? What about friends? There are male friends that I feelings for and miss when they are away. I don’t think anybody would call that an EA unless I'm bi or gay. But if I have feelings for a woman friend is it automatically an EA by default? Does the sex really matter? Suppose I have a male friend and he provides me emotional support on all facits of my life including my marriage and to a degree beyond my wife, then I would call that an EA with a male friend.

I am starting this thread to address a comment I saw in another thread and to avoid hijacking it:

are they in the beginning of an EA?

In one of the posts an interesting comment was made:

“in order to miss someone you have to have feelings for them.

having feelings means you have emotions for them - by continuing to talk to someone you have feelings or emotions for means you are having and EA with the person that is not your spouse.”


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## DG3 (Jul 13, 2011)

When it becomes a sexual longing, sexual flirting or that you are more interested in that other person than your mate. If the other person consumes your thoughts and you ACT on your thoughts by starting up a relationship then it has crossed a line. That is just what I think.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

well since that was from my post ill address that comment 

the question in specific is too broad and out of context from the posting I made in reguards to someone elses problem that small exerpt does not justify what was said so ill specify more as to what it means to have an EA.

An EA constitutes emotional feelings of longing and wanting of another person that is not your spouse - are these most often feelings of sexual interest and openly expressed in words or chatting via phone or skype - often times yes.

Does it constitue sexual longing for another person that is not your spouse - YES it does but here is the catch only the people in the EA know if they are sexualy wanting or longing for the other person that is not their spouse. So even if you dont say it or type it, but you think and feel that way you are having an EA.

Mostly an EA is where you are relying on another person to feed your emotional needs instead of your spouse. Not nessesarily your sexual physical ones.

does that help specify?


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## Cypress (May 26, 2011)

It can also be viewed as any relationship with the opposite sex your spouse is concerned about. Or any relationship with the opposite sex where private information about your marriage is shared.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Just ask yourself: "Would I be embarrassed and trying to do desperate damage control if my wife caught us talking?"?"


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

meson said:


> Doesn’t an affair require both parties to be invested? I agree that if I am in love with someone more than my wife that’s a problem but if the other person doesn’t know, is it an affair?”


here is a part that has me a bit baffled - yes ofcourse its takes both parties to be invested and yet it doesnt - one party could simply be using the other party to get what they want that they feel they are not getting from their spouse. so there is a technicality.

Now LOVE on the other hand is an entirly different subject. and its too broad a word as too many people have different thoughts on what LOVE is (meaning the definition people, please dont jump all over me for this k)

Now to have an EA does LOVE need to be in the picture *****ABSOLUTLY NOT!!!*****

Why u may ask? easy answer your still with your spouse u still look to them for the love you give and recieve, but you are looking to the OM or OW for something you should only be getting from your spouse. and this is more than often than not in the form of emotions and/or sexual interest. something you may feel entitled to or simply feel is lacking from your marriage or feel your not getting enough of from your spouse - So what do you do you look to ANOTHER that is not your spouse for what it is your wanting.

hope this clears the table of any excuses of - i dont love them / its only texting / its not physical....

yeah it may not be physical - but thats why it is called an EA (emotional affair)

not meaning to be rude or harsh to anyone but facts are facts, if you are looking to another to fullfill something you are not getting in your marriage and it turns to mutual emotional feeling with sexual interest OR even xxx chats it is an EA. most especialy if you do not call it of and sever connections with that person.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Dandri said:


> well since that was from my post ill address that comment
> 
> the question in specific is too broad and out of context from the posting I made in reguards to someone elses problem that small exerpt does not justify what was said so ill specify more as to what it means to have an EA.


Thanks Dandri, Your post made me think it was time to post about something I have been thinking about for a long time. It was a stepping stone to a wider discussion and I did not mean to mischaracterize what you said.




Dandri said:


> An EA constitutes emotional feelings of longing and wanting of another person that is not your spouse - are these most often feelings of sexual interest and openly expressed in words or chatting via phone or skype - often times yes.
> 
> Does it constitue sexual longing for another person that is not your spouse - YES it does but here is the catch only the people in the EA know if they are sexualy wanting or longing for the other person that is not their spouse. So even if you dont say it or type it, but you think and feel that way you are having an EA.
> 
> ...


I see that if i have a sexual longing for another person that I am sinfully cheating on my wife. Now if I don't say or in anyway indicated to the OW/OM can it be an affair if they don't know about it. I don't think it is an affair unless the OW/OM reciprocate. But it still is a form of cheating.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Cypress said:


> It can also be viewed as any relationship with the opposite sex your spouse is concerned about. Or any relationship with the opposite sex where private information about your marriage is shared.


Agreed, any relationship the spouse is concerned about should be addressed even if it isn't an EA. 

But I don't see what is significant about the opposite sex here. I think that intimate details of the marriage should be kept between the spouse regardless of the sex. I have seen women discuss their marriage problems in such detail that if they were with a man it would be called an EA. What makes this kind of support acceptable but unacceptable from a man?


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Dandri said:


> here is a part that has me a bit baffled - yes ofcourse its takes both parties to be invested and yet it doesnt - one party could simply be using the other party to get what they want that they feel they are not getting from their spouse. so there is a technicality.


Agreed, filling a void that should be filled by the spouse in this case is an EA.





Dandri said:


> Now LOVE on the other hand is an entirly different subject. and its too broad a word as too many people have different thoughts on what LOVE is (meaning the definition people, please dont jump all over me for this k)
> 
> Now to have an EA does LOVE need to be in the picture *****ABSOLUTLY NOT!!!*****
> 
> ...


Actually my thoughts on this were the otherway around. If there is love does it automatically make it an EA? I am in complete agreement that saying it's not love then it's not an EA is just an excuse in most cases. But if love is involved its different. 

That's why I added questions about relatives. We love are relatives (well most of them) and share stuff with them but its not a problem. So the type of love should matter.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah an EA usually has feelings involved.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Being emotionally invested in someone and having and emotional affair are very different. Without reciprocation, there is no "affair". 

What you describe is an emotional investment in someone else, "a crush", having undisclosed romantic "feelings" for someone outside of your marriage. They are obviously monsterous red flags and screaming alarm bells, they are clear danger signs. But this is not an affair. Affair foreplay? perhaps. maybe call it a PreA. lol.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ Good way to describe it, Mori.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> ^ Good way to describe it, Mori.


Who's/what's Mori ?


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Being emotionally invested in someone and having and emotional affair are very different. Without reciprocation, there is no "affair".
> 
> What you describe is an emotional investment in someone else, "a crush", having undisclosed romantic "feelings" for someone outside of your marriage. They are obviously monsterous red flags and screaming alarm bells, they are clear danger signs. But this is not an affair. Affair foreplay? perhaps. maybe call it a PreA. lol.


Yes, this is a good distinction. It also is a better than normal way of describing a crush. The investment part still includes the time that it might take from the spouse as well. I think it more than just a red flag though. If you are investing in someone else romantically then it is still cheating because the investment is taking something away from your spouse.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

thats correct but to be more specific if you become emotionaly involved / romantically involved / longing / filling a void / well to sum it up looking for something in an OM or OW that is not your spouse and u have any of these things you are beging an EA.

Now if you continue and develope multiples of any of these things you are commiting and EA.

If you dont stop it wel..... your in deep is the only thing I can say.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

meson said:


> I see that if i have a sexual longing for another person that I am sinfully cheating on my wife. Now if I don't say or in anyway indicated to the OW/OM can it be an affair if they don't know about it. I don't think it is an affair unless the OW/OM reciprocate. But it still is a form of cheating.


I can see where people may think this but it truly is only an excuse "meaning the comment that if the other party does not reciprocate."

If you are looking for something in an OM or OW that you want and are not getting from your spouse u are having an EA.

It hard to explain but if you look outside the marriage or relationship for any of the things previously stated, emotions, longing, sexual interest, sexual longing......

the OM or OW do not have to recipricate. you are the one that took a metophorical step out side the relationship to try and get something from someone else (please see above for examples) this is an EA because you are emotionaly looking for something - i suppose you could say that it is only the "begining" of an EA with the technicality that the OM or OW do not reciprocate but it truly is a cop out in my book. 

because lets face it once you start and you get going you then begin to get excited well things just elevate from there till its a full blown A or Ea or whatever. 

I dont mean to sound harsh or be mean in anyway but the fact is if it doesnt stop before longing, lusting or any kind of emotional attachment is made then u are commiting an EA irreguardless if if someone is reciprocating or not. I truly feel its a cop out.

To me it's like well ill use the senario from the original posting -

W tells H to stop all contact with the OW from their OM (open marriage).

He doesnt - H tells W the OW means nothing to him but a friend tells W that the OW is initiating all contact not him.

**now hypothicaly lets say he says "look she has feelings for me but I dont have feelings for her so I'M not having an A or EA becuase im not reciprocating any of these feelings" ---- yet he still does not do as his W asks by cutting off all contact as she requested.

which lets face it has one meaning and one meaning only the H in that senario is having an EA - why else would he not sever contact? exactly because he is using a cop out. a good enough excuse to get the W off his back so he can continue talking and "being freinds" with the OW.

***********mind u this is mearly my opinion*************

so yet again sorry to be harsh but facts are facts.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

Im making this additional post to explain why I feel that is a cop out and why I wanted to point it out that I feel it is one.

As others that have read my posts before they know that I am the one in my marriage to be the cheater by having an EA with an OM.

The reason I felt so strongly compelled to post that I felt that statment was a "cop out" was because I have known other cheaters that did not do as I did when confronted by my spouse about the EA. I fessed up. I told him the truth and my H left - I understood and I let him. I wasnt going to dress it up and call it by any other name than what it was.

As stated I said I have know other cheaters - they didnt do what I did - they lied - some told the truth but others lied.

One of the cheaters I knew actually went onto sites like this looking up good excuses to throw at their spouse to either continue the EA or PA.

Other cheater I knew were throwing acusations at their spouse to make their spouse feel bad like it was their spouses fault for them cheating.

So the reason I commented on that "cop out" is I want people to know that there are people looking at this site for reasons other than for help or advise in problems they are having to know that a cop out is still a lie even if only on a technicality.

Again sorry to harsh but I wanted it to be clear why I made such a post - I dont mean to belittle anyone in how they feel or think about certain things but I want others to be aware there are people out there that will go on these sites for the purpose of continuing their A no matter the type of A it may be by getting things to use in case their spouse finds out or approaches them about their A.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I view being unfaithful as spending your time wanting to be with someone who you are or could be attracted to.

If you spend your time fantasizing about sex with someone else all the time, I view it as mentally cheating, you are best to avoid that person and concentrate on your own partner or else it will create sexual distance between you.

If you are confiding to other people about your marriage all the time, perhaps you need marriage counseling. It is different to having the odd chat here and there, but if you constantly need to discuss your marriage woes then you have far too many and should seek help. 

Other people do not have to participate or even be aware, if you are spending time worrying about somebody else and their opinion more then you are invested in your marriage then you have a problem.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

Syrum

that is basically a perfect way of describing an EA.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Dandri said:


> The reason I felt so strongly compelled to post that I felt that statment was a "cop out" was because I have known other cheaters that did not do as I did when confronted by my spouse about the EA. I fessed up. I told him the truth and my H left - I understood and I let him. I wasnt going to dress it up and call it by any other name than what it was.


I see where you are coming from and we are in more of an agreement than you may think though you will probably still disagree (and I have no problem with that ). The issue is faithfulness (cheating). If I am emotionally investing (term used by Pit-of-my-stomach) in someone other than my spouse I am being unfaithful. Call it an EI if you like. So trolling craigslist for a connection with someone is being unfaithful but it is not an affair. You can call it an EI because it's inappropriately investing in the potential for an emotional connection or more and it is cheating every bit as much as the cheating in a full EA. I don't call it an affair because I see an affair as an interaction between people. It is not any more cheating than an EI except there are now two people mutually cheating.

Some background: I am a geek and overly analytical. My background is in physics. My username is meson because a meson is a bound pair of quarks which are asymptotically free but yet confined (meaning intrinsically bound not a prisoner). So for this forum meson represents my marriage. My studies in physics have taught me that real things can't be transformed away. Real things are invariant under transformations.

Centrifugal force is an example of a non-real force the many people are familiar where the real force is a centripetal (Funny example) force. Another example the concept of "at the same time" (or simultaneous). This is a non-real concept because one can always find a reference frame in which separates events to happen at different times. 

So my problem with the notion of an EA is that when you substitute relatives or same sex people then it is not generally considered an EA. The EA has been transformed away and thus it is not real.

The reality is my actions of faithfulness towards my spouse. It is my behavior alone. The fact that I perhaps can get someone else involved is irrelevant. The problem is there before the affair.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

Messon,

I understood all that you have said I may not be a physics major and only a hs grad but I'm a huge geek and absolutly love science.

I see where you are making this destiction between getting EI and its perceptive distiction of an actual EA. but since I have commited an EA myself I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if you are already trolling craigslist, skype, fb... or the so many socializing networks there are out there, you have already emotionally taken a piece of your-self away from your spouse this is the number one sign you are commiting an EA. 

Reason why you can have an EA with almost anyone in this world including same sex or oposite sex is easily explained. If you are going to someone else to fill an emotional need, want or longing that you dont feel your spouse gives you or would even understand then you are begining an EA. By letting it continue and not stopping it before feelings of regret for what you have done or even before sexual feelings come into play then you are commiting an EA.

How my EA started was my OM and I would talk on our online game just about day to day things. I became interested in him because he seemed sweet, kind, polite and it seemed he understood me and actually listened to my problems. I didnt stop there like I should have. 

I felt the need to tell him my problems in my M, and he told me about his problems in his previous relationships. And I was happy (thats an emotion) that there was a guy out there that wanted the same things in life and felt like my husband and I had drifted so far apart that why not? right I deserve to be happy I deserve to have someone to talk to that wont judge me.

well it went from there. It may have started as an innocent freindship where it turned into an EA is when I had talked to him about things in my M that I should have only talked to my husband about. And began looking forward to talking to my OM everyday id get giddy and impatient for him to get online.... these are are feelings.

The reason why one of the people involved in an EA do not have to reciprocate is because the WW is the ones with the feeling of regret that they cant talk like this to their spouse - feelings of longing like why cant my spouse listen like "my friend" why cant they understand and not be so judgmental like "my friend" isnt.

the beginings of these feelings or thoughts means you have begun an EA and is only a matter of time before more feelings come along like sexual one's....

So I do understand your distiction in the matter and family does not count cause your family is supposed to be there for you to help guide you (in an ideal situation). the only time it counts is if you have sexual interest twards them (in the case of family.)


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Dandri said:


> Messon,
> 
> I understood all that you have said I may not be a physics major and only a hs grad but I'm a huge geek and absolutly love science.


:smthumbup:




Dandri said:


> It may have started as an innocent freindship where it turned into an EA is when I had talked to him about things in my M that I should have only talked to my husband about. And began looking forward to talking to my OM everyday id get giddy and impatient for him to get online.... these are are feelings.
> 
> The reason why one of the people involved in an EA do not have to reciprocate is because the WW is the ones with the feeling of regret that they cant talk like this to their spouse - feelings of longing like why cant my spouse listen like "my friend" why cant they understand and not be so judgmental like "my friend" isnt.
> 
> ...


A lot of the examples here are classic no-brainers with lots of the typical red flags. Confidences about issues with the marriage, lots of texts, emails, emotional connections etc. My instance is no less bad but it is different and only showed some of the typical red flags. I definitely did the giddy one you mention but none of the others. I also missed her company when I was out of town. But we never had deep discussions or any of that. I really didn’t know what to think but this thread and some others has helped clarify things for me.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Usually the OP puts the personal info first which provide a context for discussion. I violated the standard TAM protocol to have a general discussion first to help me understand my situation better. 

I have been deeply troubled for some time and have found TAM useful in discussing it and looking for answers. I have been married for over 21 years and we have a good marriage. There were significant problems 6-8 years ago which we worked through. I fell in love with my wife again back in 2005 and we have had a good to great marriage ever since. But there was a complication. My wife is involved in scouting and got me involved. Before I was married I was an outdoors person into hiking and climbing and it continued during our marriage up until the pregnancy with our first child. I was involved in the rescue of someone who fell off of a cliff and this caused us to re-evaluate my activities. So I stopped climbing and with the work of children the outdoor activities eventually stopped as well. 

My wife was a scout growing up but I wasn't. She was heavily involved with getting our kids into scouting. The point is that I discounted scouting and didn't participate until my wife asked me to help plan some activities for a campout. So I planned a hike and thought it would be cool to do a river crossing. But it rained heavily the night before which made the crossing too dangerous even with the equipment I was going to use. So the crossing was canceled. I led the hike and had a great time with the kids. I ended up talking with the assistant leader (the OW) and she had known about the crossing plans and informed me about the whole scout bureaucracy and said that I should just get trained to do such things since I was having so much fun. 

I took her up on that advice and since I loved climbing I would introduce kids into climbing. In order to become a certified instructor, I had to start climbing again. This really changed my life for the better. I introduced my kids to it and became a better father doing more things with my kids. 

A year later there was an amusement park activity that the OW and some other parents and kids went on. I spent most of the day with the OW mostly in the company of other parents until the evening when we went on an old classic roller coaster. She is attractive and I could feel the desire to put the moves on her but something weird happened. The sounds, light, air and temperature were all the same as a similar situation when I was in college. It was like I was transported back in time. In college I had an EA (though back then that’s not what it was called) with someone other than my girlfriend at the time and on that coaster ride it became physical. IT wasn’t going to happen again and it didn’t. I kept my hands to myself and just enjoyed the ride. We had sat next to each other on the ride to the park on the bus but on the way back I took another seat to ensure nothing happened. It was like I was given a chance to relive an event that I regretted. And this time it happened the way it should have, I was ecstatic that I could overcome the same temptation to which I had succumbed to in the past. 

Now there were two life changing/affirming events that were tied up with her. Several more months passed during which we had little contact. We saw each other because of carpooling kids and had no significant contact. But one day I was talking with her and boom, I couldn’t think straight. There was the rush of chemicals in my head and I was smitten. I don’t even remember what we talked about. But I thought this just had to be a crush. I still was very much in love with my wife and go through withdrawal when she is not around. It was a crush it would fade. 

However more than a year later the feelings were still there and they were growing. How could this be? How could I be in love with two people? This is where I became unfaithful. I started to find excuses to talk and be with her and the time we spend together increased. I made emotional investments for her. But at the same time I was scared and confused and started researching this stuff. I still saw her as a symbol of my being physically faithful and was never going to undo that. I had a great desire one as great as Frodo with the ring to reveal to her what she meant to me. Fortunately I did not. I found TAM and other information and learned about EAs leading to PAs. I took actions to prevent that. I proactively started being really transparent, set boundaries, and finally disclosed my love for her to my wife. 

There were still issues. It took me awhile to see that I was not treating her in the same way I did other friends. This was corrected a couple of months ago and I am no longer investing in her emotionally. Our interactions are random according to our lives and I no longer seek to be near her as I once did. But I still love her, though I am hoping it will fade. That love is not romantic or lustful but it is real like a relative or real close friend.

So whether or not it’s an EA, I was unfaithful to my wife. I am trying to be faithful now and understand how I got into this situation. I am trying to learn how not to let it happen again.


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## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

I can relate to what your saying my situation was different - I loved my H but our marriage had fallen apart completly, it had been well over a year gone and over with before I met my OM and even though I loved my H and we were still together, when I met my OM I was always giddy to go home and talk to my him not my H.

I dont love this OM, he does however give me things that H never did which are words of affection and he does his best to always put me in a better mood no matter how stressed I am from the divorce I am going through or other things going on in my life.

I consider him to be a very close friend someone who doesn't judge me for waht I did and he doesnt judge my H either. He isnt happy with how my H treated me but he agrees with me that both my H and I contributed to the downfall of our M.

As far as how not to let it happen again well that always the trick isnt it. Since this is still new to me I couldnt say with any difinitive answer how you would overcome that fear.

But I think it could possibly help if you were maybe to see a MC or just a IC. Maybe find out what it was you felt you were lacking or needed more of that you possibly were not getting from your spouse that you inadvertantly either saw in your OW or felt you recieved from your OW. This might assist you, so as you and your W can work on that aspect and I dont know possibly be able not to look else where for what you found in that OW. I would also look at what you recieved in all out of your OW as well to maybe define why you became soo attracted in the first place.

As far as to weather or not that was an EA in the situation you described I'll be honest I believe it to be one as you said you were "smitten" this by any other word is attraction and attraction alone mildly constitues sexual interest - so possibly you only were in the begining of an EA but never acted on it as you felt comited to your W and your W only. This is a good thing as it shows you have a very large will power to restrain yourself. I must say you faired better than I did.

As far as the love fading - I have found in my own personal experience that once I have loved someone that love never goes away it mearly changes after time to fade from what it originally was or "mutate" is believe is the best term here into a love of a friend that is more like a brother or sister type love. I dont know if this is your case or not but that is what I have come to experience myself.

I hope you find this helpful. Good luck.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Dandri said:


> I can relate to what your saying my situation was different - I loved my H but our marriage had fallen apart completly, it had been well over a year gone and over with before I met my OM and even though I loved my H and we were still together, when I met my OM I was always giddy to go home and talk to my him not my H.
> 
> I dont love this OM, he does however give me things that H never did which are words of affection and he does his best to always put me in a better mood no matter how stressed I am from the divorce I am going through or other things going on in my life.
> 
> I consider him to be a very close friend someone who doesn't judge me for waht I did and he doesnt judge my H either. He isnt happy with how my H treated me but he agrees with me that both my H and I contributed to the downfall of our M.



That's the peculiar part about my experience. My marriage was in good shape and there was nothing lacking in it that she provided. Discussions with her always lifted my mood like what you described but she never tried to lift my spirits explicity. What she did provide was advice which I took. If anything its the fallout from taking that advice for which I am so indebted.




Dandri said:


> As far as how not to let it happen again well that always the trick isnt it. Since this is still new to me I couldnt say with any difinitive answer how you would overcome that fear.


I am so much more guarded now with my interactions with women as a result. I try to keep to the boundaries and maintain transparency much more than ever. Its more than I did before so I should be able to see the red flags sooner and if not me, my wife.




Dandri said:


> But I think it could possibly help if you were maybe to see a MC or just a IC. Maybe find out what it was you felt you were lacking or needed more of that you possibly were not getting from your spouse that you inadvertantly either saw in your OW or felt you recieved from your OW. This might assist you, so as you and your W can work on that aspect and I dont know possibly be able not to look else where for what you found in that OW. I would also look at what you recieved in all out of your OW as well to maybe define why you became soo attracted in the first place.


I don't think it is necessary component for an EA to be providing something that the spouse is not giving. I think that in my case I just enjoyed her company so much that I contrived situations that maximized it. I invested too much time and energy towards a relationship that could become a competition for the one with my wife.




Dandri said:


> As far as to weather or not that was an EA in the situation you described I'll be honest I believe it to be one as you said you were "smitten" this by any other word is attraction and attraction alone mildly constitues sexual interest - so possibly you only were in the begining of an EA but never acted on it as you felt comited to your W and your W only. This is a good thing as it shows you have a very large will power to restrain yourself. I must say you faired better than I did.


For the pragmatic guidelines of faithfulness, it was an EA. Fortuantely she never had similar feelings towards me. 



Dandri said:


> As far as the love fading - I have found in my own personal experience that once I have loved someone that love never goes away it mearly changes after time to fade from what it originally was or "mutate" is believe is the best term here into a love of a friend that is more like a brother or sister type love. I dont know if this is your case or not but that is what I have come to experience myself.
> 
> I hope you find this helpful. Good luck.


I have had a couple of crushes that faded. I have had love turn to hate which turned into indiference. I was betrayed by my fiance before the relationship with my wife but that is another story. Time will tell.


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