# Mans opion please



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

My husband and I have been married for over 26 years with experiencing alot of turbulance including infidelity. Having reconciled last year after a year seperation it was understood that it was upsetting to me when he befriended women in the work place. Recently he was at an award event where he met a women much youger than him and later I saw that she invited him to stay connected on "linkedin" his response was how he enjoyed meeting her and how much he enjoyed their conversation and that he was sure they would meet again at future events.
Why does he not get it that this was an invitation to stay connected. Their is no logical business connection.


----------



## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Depending on who cheated, I would have a problem with this, too.
If it was you that cheated, previously, I could see how he might want to keep other options open.
If it was him, he is way out of line.


----------



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

we have had several different problems through out our marriage however he was the last one (2 years ago) that blew me out of the water when I caught him on swinger sites. Alot of time has passed but this old problem of him having WAY different boundaries than me always crops up. He says oh it was just a four minute conversation and that she initiated the contact on "linked in". His response saying he was sure they would see eachother again at future events really rubbed me the wrong way. They are in very different business industries. He even admits this when I asked him.
Why would it be so important to accept an invitation on linked in from a much younger woman with no real business connection to yours? I am upset. I should have been invited to this award show with him as his partner and wife. Now he is heading to Vegas for another week long trade show. This will be his fifth time in Vegas we have never gone together. I don't trust in this man anymore. I think he feeds me stories. How would he like it if I befriended men that are not really in my line of business. I say it's all EGO on his part and he can't change.


----------



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

any other responses men...sorry I spelt opinion wrong

do you think my husband is out of line?


----------



## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

yes, he is out of line. But, this is who he is. You need to figure out why you are with him.


----------



## iDeal (Oct 25, 2011)

First of all, regardless of who cheated, linkedin only has that option of staying connected. if she wanted to be best buddies with him im sure they would have used facebook.

Second, your mad because some woman younger than your husband sent him a linkedin invite? if there was something going on don't you think he would have not even mentioned how much he enjoyed their conversation? do you not think he is clever enough to make sure you don't find out?

If your husband is a successful man its clear that this woman would think she could use a connection like him.


----------



## amanda1959 (Mar 29, 2010)

I am upset because we have gone over this time and time again even in marriage counselling that there should be a more defined boundary in his relationship with other women and he still doesn't get it. He doesn't know how I can read his linked in messages so no he is not that clever. Yes he appears successful especially that night because it was an award for 50ish people that are making a difference so she probably wanted that connection to him. He should know the difference of a business connection by know. He accepted her invitation because he was flattered end of story. It is always his ego.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Amanda,
He does this because he wants to. He knows perfectly well he should not.
There is no confusion here.

am upset because we have gone over this time and time again even in marriage counselling that there should be a more defined boundary in his relationship with other women and he still doesn't get it. He doesn't know how I can read his linked in messages so no he is not that clever. Yes he appears successful especially that night because it was an award for 50ish people that are making a difference so she probably wanted that connection to him. He should know the difference of a business connection by know. He accepted her invitation because he was flattered end of story. It is always his ego.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

amanda1959 said:


> He accepted her invitation because he was flattered end of story. It is always his ego.


I would say that most men would be flattered to have a younger woman trying to befriend them in any capacity, especially if the woman in questions is reasonably attractive. It doesnt mean there is nothing going on.


Is the infidelity you mentioned in your first post when you caught him on a swinger website or was there something more going on?

All I can say is that a married person should have solid boundaries in place when dealing with the opposite sex, that the other spouse is comfortable with. I know this doesnt help you now. You need to set your own boundaries in regards to his behaviour and follow through with the axe/ hatchet/divorce papers,etc when he brakes your boundaries.


----------

