# Post Divorce and Items not returned by spouse



## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

My ex wife is being impossible and demanding I owe her money. We have an agreement in which I got pretty screwed but that's not what's important. She is dictating that I owe her "X" amount of money and I explained how I was going to pay it back and she is being less than cooperative. During the divorce she basically kept EVERYTHING. The house, the cars, all of the furniture, her pensions, and retirement etc. However, in the divorce it was clearly stated that she needed to return my nearly brand new MacBook Pro. I fought forever to try getting it back and she just refused. Since then the computer has been broken and no longer any good to which she bought a new computer for herself. Now that she is demanding all this stuff I explained to her that my computer has value. I paid $1900 for it and it is worth at least $1000 as it was only 6 months old at the time I left. She is saying it's worth $80 and laughs about it. Obviously, she violated the agreement and is being impossible about this and I'm not OK with being screwed over by her again. I did an appraisal on buymymac and the value where they would buy it back was $1170. Also searching on eBay and similar sites yielded a similar price tag for this computer. Should I take these values and bring them to the courthouse and demand this be taken off the amount that she is claiming I owe her for other things? I'm not OK with her getting everything and then some esp. where she is the most impossible human being on the planet.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

If it's clearly stated in the divorce statement and settlement, file for finding her in contempt of court because she clearly violated and is violating the order.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

hubbyintrubby said:


> If it's clearly stated in the divorce statement and settlement, file for finding her in contempt of court because she clearly violated and is violating the order.


Now that the computer is broken though will they just make her return it to me in an unusable state or will she be charged the worth of the computer? It is 100% in the divorce document that she return the computer to me.


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

Talk2Me said:


> Now that the computer is broken though will they just make her return it to me in an unusable state or will she be charged the worth of the computer? It is 100% in the divorce document that she return the computer to me.


If you can prove with an e-mail chain or a text message chain that you attempted to get it back in good faith and she in turn acted in bad faith getting it back to you in a timely manner, it's kind of up to the judge what happens there. I know they wouldn't be too kind in their ruling if you can show that you attempted in vain to get it back and she resisted and drug it on.


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## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

I totally get your deal about your laptop, my ex took things during our relationship and marriage that never even belonged to him in the first place and destroyed lots of my family s heirlooms from a deceased parent, and I was content to be rid of him but made him give back a few things as I felt he had robbed me for years of lots of things he just took and either sold or kept . You know one hand in my pocketbook and the other up anything that would let him but I have to say if you get it back or get the money you will be lucky to get anything. Thease types are only there to use or get what they can or use your relationship as a springboard to find what they think is gonna make em look good ,status,money, fame, insurance or just to live off you. Be glad you are done, karma does come by its self, and you dont have to do anything but watch the show, bigger they are harder they fall.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Talk2Me said:


> My ex wife is being impossible and demanding I owe her money. We have an agreement in which I got pretty screwed but that's not what's important. She is dictating that I owe her "X" amount of money and I explained how I was going to pay it back and she is being less than cooperative. During the divorce she basically kept EVERYTHING. The house, the cars, all of the furniture, her pensions, and retirement etc. However, in the divorce it was clearly stated that she needed to return my nearly brand new MacBook Pro. I fought forever to try getting it back and she just refused. Since then the computer has been broken and no longer any good to which she bought a new computer for herself. Now that she is demanding all this stuff I explained to her that my computer has value. I paid $1900 for it and it is worth at least $1000 as it was only 6 months old at the time I left. She is saying it's worth $80 and laughs about it. Obviously, she violated the agreement and is being impossible about this and I'm not OK with being screwed over by her again. I did an appraisal on buymymac and the value where they would buy it back was $1170. Also searching on eBay and similar sites yielded a similar price tag for this computer. Should I take these values and bring them to the courthouse and demand this be taken off the amount that she is claiming I owe her for other things? I'm not OK with her getting everything and then some esp. where she is the most impossible human being on the planet.


You are screwing yourself over by fretting over a broken computer. Forget controlling the purchased goods, she is in command of your headspace. Obviously. What's that worth? $1900? $1000? $80? $1170? Apparently so. Its simply an inanimate object. It's just a thing. A highly replaceable one at that. Get a grip brother. Forget monetary value, read all you wrote again with some clarity. You are searching eBay ffs. You are outside of control with the only thing that matters. Your mind. You are outside of it over a damn computer. You can't control her, but you can control yourself. Let go. She gets everything and your power over self? That's on you. Not on her.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> You are screwing yourself over by fretting over a broken computer. Forget controlling the purchased goods, she is in command of your headspace. Obviously. What's that worth? $1900? $1000? $80? $1170? Apparently so. Its simply an inanimate object. It's just a thing. A highly replaceable one at that. Get a grip brother. Forget monetary value, read all you wrote again with some clarity. You are searching eBay ffs. You are outside of control with the only thing that matters. Your mind. You are outside of it over a damn computer. You can't control her, but you can control yourself. Let go. She gets everything and your power over self? That's on you. Not on her.


You can replace the computer, but you will never get back the time you spent fretting about your wife. Forget about the broken computer.

Live a good life. Let her think that you never think of her or the marriage. Take care of yourself and move on.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

This seems very easy to me. You owe her money correct? Just short pay her by the value of the computer.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Talk2Me said:


> My ex wife is being impossible and demanding I owe her money. We have an agreement in which I got pretty screwed but that's not what's important. She is dictating that I owe her "X" amount of money and I explained how I was going to pay it back and she is being less than cooperative. During the divorce she basically kept EVERYTHING. The house, the cars, all of the furniture, her pensions, and retirement etc. However, in the divorce it was clearly stated that she needed to return my nearly brand new MacBook Pro. I fought forever to try getting it back and she just refused. Since then the computer has been broken and no longer any good to which she bought a new computer for herself. Now that she is demanding all this stuff I explained to her that my computer has value. I paid $1900 for it and it is worth at least $1000 as it was only 6 months old at the time I left. She is saying it's worth $80 and laughs about it. Obviously, she violated the agreement and is being impossible about this and I'm not OK with being screwed over by her again. I did an appraisal on buymymac and the value where they would buy it back was $1170. Also searching on eBay and similar sites yielded a similar price tag for this computer. Should I take these values and bring them to the courthouse and demand this be taken off the amount that she is claiming I owe her for other things? I'm not OK with her getting everything and then some esp. where she is the most impossible human being on the planet.


As someone else said, file for contempt of court against her and ask for the replacement cost. If you owe her money, then ask the court to deduct that from the funds you owe her.

Did you have a lawyer in your divorce?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I see that some here are suggesting that you just let this go to get her out of your head. She's kinda controlling you here. This is also a valid argument.

Another is that instead of going to court and filing contempt of court, just deduct the $1900 from the funds you are supposed to pay her. Keep good documentation of all communications of you trying to get your computer from her, costs, etc.

In my experience, there is a time to stand your ground because come people interpret you letting it go as an invitation to walk all over you.

I experience something along the lines of an ex who played some games similar to this. When I divorced my son's father, we had an agreement on child support which he paid me. The agreed upon amount was much less than the formula that the court came up with. What he did was that each month when he paid child support he deducted every penny he spent on our son. He'd include an invoice with the check listing things like "Socks $2, pajamas $5.. and so forth. I just let it go at first and every month the list of deductions grew. 

The second summer after our divorce our son went to a summer day camp. My ex was the one who signed him up so the bill was in my ex's name. He wanted me to pay 50%. I took all of the invoices for all those months that he'd deducted from child support and tallied them up. And then sent my ex a letter stating that our divorce did not allow for him to deduct funds from child support. If he wants to, we can go back to court and I'll push for the real amount of child support he's supposed to be paying. The letter further informed him that the total of his deductions for child support was around $200 more than 50% of the summer camp. Therefore I would not be sending a check for the summer champ. But, I am willing to forgive him the approx. $200 that he owes for the deductions he made from child support. I sent a copy of my letter and all the invoices listing deductions from child support to my lawyer and his.

I never heard another word from my ex about the cost of the summer camp. He also stopped deducting money from child support AND he became much more reasonable in all things financial. Funny how it works when you stand up to a bully.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Zombie thread. Closing


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