# I Keep Falling For It.



## rhonda1970

Hello all!! I'm in a fog right now. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We disagree, we argue and then we make up. He cheated on me before and I decided to forgive him and move on from it. no counseling involved.

Her is my issue. He has these moods that he'd get into all of the time. One minute i'm feeling like we are in marital bliss and then 3 or 4 days later he just stops engaging. and then when i call him out on it, he says that i'm crazy and that he isn't acting a certain way. we would be all in love talking, laughing, joking and then all of a sudden there's nothing. i would always call him throughout the day to check on him and see how he's doing but i would always feel rushed off of the phone. He never calls to see how i'm doing, it's always me showing him how much i love and care for him, showing him that i want and need him. the only time he shows me is when we get back together after a break up. that will be the most beautiful 3 days i can imagine with my husband. but it's always short lived.

we are now going through this again and i just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so sad that i fell for it once again, knowing that it wouldn't last. any advice on this would really help.

thanks!!


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## PBear

You may want to delete one of your threads, or things will get confusing. 

Why did you avoid counseling? And are you sure he's not cheating anymore? Where there problems in your marriage that led to him cheating, or at least, that he used as an excuse?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rhonda1970

I can't seem to find the other thread so that I can delete it.

We avoided counseling because he did not want to go. And we so desperately need it. His cheating was with some lady from his past. And the problems in our marriage was always his fault. Cheating, lying, no help financially. So irresponsible and I don't know why I stay. 

I am so good to this man that I blow my own mind sometimes. But yet he can't seem to stay focused on me. We just recently got back together and I was a little shaky about it because I knew that our marital bliss would be short lived again. And yes, I was right!!! 

I bring this to his attention and he calls me crazy because he can't see what he's doing wrong. He just called me and asked me why haven't he heard from me all day. I told him that I was tired of him doing this to me and I'm tired of being the man in this marriage. He's the one that screws up but I'm the one that has to treat him like a king. I get nothing but a nice roll in the hay for three days and then it's good-bye 
Romance. Again, he calls me crazy. I feel like I'm about to lose my mind!!!

QUOTE=PBear;10486354]You may want to delete one of your threads, or things will get confusing. 

Why did you avoid counseling? And are you sure he's not cheating anymore? Where there problems in your marriage that led to him cheating, or at least, that he used as an excuse?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE]


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## Chuck71

Some guys do not care for chatting on the phone. I am one of those.

As for a g/f, I'd rather do talking "in person." Now if it's a guy and we 

are talking about sports...yes I can talk for hours. In person is 

really not needed. If he does not go to MC, you go for IC. It is 

common for a guy to not want counseling...until it is too late.

Also....I agree his cheating was very wrong. But putting 100% of

the blame on him is incorrect. When a M is crumbling....the decay is

brought on by both parties, not just one. He may very well be more at fault but..

not 100%


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## dscl

Chuck71 said:


> Also....I agree his cheating was very wrong. But putting 100% of
> 
> the blame on him is incorrect. When a M is crumbling....the decay is
> 
> brought on by both parties, not just one. He may very well be more at fault but..
> 
> not 100%



I disagree.

The problems in a marriage are shared by both, but the choice to deal with these issues with cheating is 100% the fault of the cheater.


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## dormant

I agree that cheating is wrong. But, people make mistakes. They are unhappy and (right or wrong) seek a way to cope. I too agree that it is never 100% the fault of the WS. It take two to cause a bad situation.


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## clipclop2

after having been cheated on its understandable but to me it sounds like you're needy. Not everyone can fully engage in romance all of the time. 

people recharge in different ways. 

you have to ask yourself if you are getting what you need or if you are getting what you want. And what you want and what you need are not necessarily the same thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Relationship

I hate to say it, but if this is how he has always been, he is not going to change, this is his personality. The decision what to do is something only you can make. The question for you is simple, do the good times outweigh the bad, if not be grateful you only invested four years, take the loss and move on.


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## Chuck71

dscl said:


> I disagree.
> 
> The problems in a marriage are shared by both, but the choice to deal with these issues with cheating is 100% the fault of the cheater.


and the cheating was from?

should they have cheated? No

but the breakdown is from each side

not communicating well is excusable; to me

cheating is not; to me


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