# Spent time together after 3 weeks .... now what?



## mrschef16 (Dec 27, 2012)

I picked him up at the airport yesterday after he had spent the last 2.5 weeks visiting family. We hugged, we kissed .... everything felt so natural, so normal. Went out to breakfast then spent some time together at our place. It was so nice being together as a family again (no kids, but 2 dogs that are our kids). We were intimate (twice) and of course after being apart for 3 weeks, it was wonderful. We had a good day together. 

I drove him to his friend's place (where he is staying) a few hours later. On the ride I asked him what he needed from me. He said to continue doing what I'm doing. He said he is proud of me... the way I am handling the situation by giving him the space he is asking for. He said he is also proud of me for the way I am taking care of myself (I always put him first and he is happy to see that I am putting myself first for once). He said he's not ready for counseling, he said he's not there yet.

I feel he finally told me why this is going on (I've been pretty clueless). Our history .... We met shortly after I got out of a 10 year emotionally abusive relationship and I also never dealt with my parents (really ugly divorce, my dad a had a 2nd secret family for 10 years). My husband knew what he was getting into, he knew I was broken. But we fell fast and are also the best of friends. We vowed to make each other better people, the people we both wanted to be (he was pretty damaged himself). To make a long story short.... I'm healed now but it took too long. I took too much out on him over the last 7 years. He is such a wonderful person and I love him so incredibly much. I never meant to hurt him. I was broken, and he was here so he got the brunt of it. Now that I am happy and healthy both mentally and physically, he's detached. He said yesterday that he is fearful my changes are not permit. He feels the old me will return down the road and hurt him again.

Aside from my occasional melt downs and mood swings when I emotionally abused him.... we had a great marriage. When things are good, they are really good. 

I need to prove to him that I am the person he's been waiting for. I've been healthy and happy for a good year now and I thought he'd see by now that it's for good. I need him to fall in love with me again, get to know this me. How do I get him to see this is forever? How do I get him to fall in love again?

When he got out of the car yesterday.... we hugged, we kissed, he said I love you and said he missed us (his little family). I'm I silly for having hope?


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## TNman (Dec 24, 2012)

No, not silly-sounds like a lot of space for genuine hope to me. Best of luck.


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## mrschef16 (Dec 27, 2012)

TNman said:


> No, not silly-sounds like a lot of space for genuine hope to me. Best of luck.



Thank you


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