# difficulty being supportive to pregnant wife



## Mojnet (Sep 4, 2009)

My wife is pregnant with our third child. She is having severe morning sickness and is having trouble coping. I am trying my best to be supportive: coming home early from work (I keep flexible hours), cooking (which I love -- we generally take turns), taking care of the house (I'm a neat freak), and spending time with kids. Unfortunately, it never seems to be enough. I'm not expecting a prize or anything, but at times I feel as if there is no point to even trying. She expects me to be a rock, stable and always positive, but I feel as if I'm not entitled to my express my own problems, have my own bad days or foul moods, etc. Add to this that when she is around her own friends, she smiles, laughs, and is generally pleasant. I feel that this is unfair to me in someway. Why do her friends get to experience this side of her, and not me? 

Of course you are only hearing my side of the story, but I would appreciate any feedback or advice (please don't be too harsh!) Thanks.


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## aurorazz (Aug 11, 2009)

You are being supportive. You have your own problem. You find your wife is being more pleasant to her friends than to you. But what did she do to you that you don't like about? This part of story seems to be missing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I wish I was more supportive to my wife. I personally didn't care for the whole pregnancy thing. I think my wife resented me for it. She often went to the doctors by herself. This was obviously a problem for her as I heard about it now as we going through problems..


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## Xusan (Nov 25, 2008)

How about letting her know how you feel, making it clear that you love taking care of her and will absolutely continue, but also letting her know that you just need to be grumpy sometimes? Maybe you could warn her that you've had a bad day and just need to vent. Let her know that you're so happy she's there for you even though she's going through pregnancy, even if she's not quite there, yet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wherewegofromhere (Sep 1, 2009)

Being pregnant can be a very stressful and anxious time for a mother and sometimes it's easy to overlook what you're taking for granted when you're so distracted. If you love each other, I doubt it's anything intentional. Maybe you should try explaining to your wife that the happiness and the funny stories or whatever about the baby that gets her smiling is something you want to be a part of. Tell her you want her to share that with you. 

Ask her to understand that you're doing your best to help her but you need her to remember that you guys are a team and that you need a little cooperation from her. Put in as much effort into making this work as you do.


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## shelleyv (Aug 13, 2009)

Was your wife like this with the other two pregnancies? If so it could be hormonal. Is she normally friendly / loving / appreociative towards you when she isnt pregnant? I think the best thing to do is be honest and let her know how you are feeling. Yes she is the pregnant one but that doesnt mean your feelings dont count. Good luck and best wishes to you for your upcoming birth of your baby.


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## Treadingcarefully (Sep 1, 2009)

My wife is pregnant as well, and the previous two pregnancies were the same. Cranky, snapping all the time, not remembering to say thank you.
She's tired, and sick all the time, and it's easy for her to forget that I get tired too. At this stage, I just chalk it up to the hormones and the nausea. 
It is a bit complicated now, cos she's not 100% sure the kid is mine (she had a brief affair two months ago) but I'm still supporting her the same, and not letting that idea change how I treat her. 
I'm hoping things improve soon for you. With my wife, the morning sickness usually finished around the 3rd month, and she felt a lot more normal.


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

When I was pregnant with my daughter (4th and last child), I had constant morning sickness. It was more like morning, noon, and night sickness. I was a perpetual shade of green. I couldn't even sleep through the night because of the nausea. Finally, my doctor put me on some medication to help with that.

It's really hard sometimes, because of what our bodies and emotions are going through, to see beyond that. My guess is that she doesn't see how she's acting with you. You are her rock, she doesn't feel she has to behave a certain way with you. 

You sound like a great guy. I wish I had that much help when I was pregnant. I was working 2 jobs and taking care of everything around the house too.

I understand you are feeling unappreciated and neglected. My guess is that it's not intentional on her part. Maybe try to spend some quality time with her....one on one special time....and maybe you'll get those smiles too. Hang in there buddy!


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