# my crazy ****ing world.



## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

I don't even know where the **** to begin. that aside, I am sitting here with Dom braclets on for the first time in 2 decades, trying to use them to calm my mind, because I just can't bear anymore. I don't even know why I posted this.


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## whitepicketfence (Feb 26, 2017)

I'm sorry to hear that. I had a pretty rough day too. Do you want to talk about it?


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

I don't even know what to say, I mean, I am such a bag of contradictions. The thing I want, would require me to let of the the thing that I truly love.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Does this involve having more kids?


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Take those bracelets off and go hug your wife. After a little cuddle- reassess your wants. Be honest with yourself, and not just your short-term wants. 

S.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I will offer this for what it is worth. I have been into BDSM for a few decades until I talked to my doctor about it. He said that BDSM is often the refuge of the depressed because it takes your attention away from the real world. I spent a year trying to find a drug that controlled my depression and did not take my sex life away. I finally found one that works for me and lo and behold, my extreme BDSM needs disappeared and my marriage improved significantly. My wife loves how I am medicated and I do not feel like a zombie. I just do not obsess or think about negative things needlessly anymore. Instead of laying in bed wondering why to leave it, I am up in a flash and ready to meet the day. Now my wife says I smother her with love and attention and things are just great in my world again. Still stick a toe into the BDSM world but nothing like I was doing before.

Talk to a Psychologist that specializes in sex and marriage problems. It can help when depression is the cause.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

@Vinnydee, is there anything you have not done?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

brooklynAnn said:


> @Vinnydee, is there anything you have not done?


Honestly, not anything I can think of. Did all the fetishes on fetlife and more. That was just my lifestyle. There is a whole different world out there if you look for it plus I lived most of my life in NYC where you could find all sorts of people. Once in awhile my wife will say that she cannot believe this or that thing we did, but we did. Upon reflection it seems odd but while we did it, it was just part of our life. 

Remember that I had 47 years of living a fetish lifestyle in a non monogamous marriage, living in major cities. I do not believe half the stuff I read on the internet either. I actually did what I posted and held back on some of the more radical stuff.

One day my wife ran into an old friend who asked her who did she marry. Upon hearing my name, her friend exclaimed, "You married that pervert?" Those who know me, know me well. I have had a very unusual and interesting life. Anyone's belief or disbelief will not change that. I actually did all that I said and somethings that I will not post about. I do not think or live like most men. I was born with certain gifts that have made my lifestyle possible. I take no credit for that. I just enjoyed them. :grin2:

BTW, thanks for the nice post. Sometimes keyboard tough guys like to say hurtful things. We have lived in the shadows in a world that is not as tolerant as it is now. Luckily NYC has big shadows. I actually feel good spilling out the things I dared not say to anyone. No one in our family or current friends, know about our former lifestyle. They will not even watch a movie with cursing or nudity in it so we keep it a secret still.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I know all about the freaks in NYC. I once had a tenant who was into BDSM, My son's room was below his, one night my son came into my room and said mum Peter is beating up some girl. So after listening for a while, i figured out what was going on and had to have a talk with him and move my son to the guest room. When he moved, we collected three lawn bags full of his equipment/tools. I had a really good laugh. Could not believe P who looked like a nerd was a Dom. That was something.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

Vinnydee said:


> I will offer this for what it is worth. I have been into BDSM for a few decades until I talked to my doctor about it. He said that BDSM is often the refuge of the depressed because it takes your attention away from the real world. I spent a year trying to find a drug that controlled my depression and did not take my sex life away. I finally found one that works for me and lo and behold, my extreme BDSM needs disappeared and my marriage improved significantly. My wife loves how I am medicated and I do not feel like a zombie. I just do not obsess or think about negative things needlessly anymore. Instead of laying in bed wondering why to leave it, I am up in a flash and ready to meet the day. Now my wife says I smother her with love and attention and things are just great in my world again. Still stick a toe into the BDSM world but nothing like I was doing before.
> 
> Talk to a Psychologist that specializes in sex and marriage problems. It can help when depression is the cause.


It is a bit more complicated then that, all of this emotional turmoil in my life has dregged up allot of old stuff that had settled along the bottom and was nice and quiet. These braclets have specific meanings and they are not clasped, they go on they stay on, but they help calm my mind and at this very moment, thats what I need,


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

Saibasu said:


> Take those bracelets off and go hug your wife. After a little cuddle- reassess your wants. Be honest with yourself, and not just your short-term wants.
> 
> S.


I would, if her family was not holding her hostage, it took 3 months just to reestablish regular phone contact, and I have our child in my custody, think about that for a moment, thats how abusive these ****s are.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

DepressedHusband said:


> I would, if her family was not holding her hostage, it took 3 months just to reestablish regular phone contact, and I have our child in my custody, think about that for a moment, thats how abusive these ****s are.


Why would they be keeping her from you? I don't know your story.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

Saibasu said:


> Why would they be keeping her from you? I don't know your story.


Just the quality these people are, they reject everyone they can't dominate, which is why she was with me, I am safe and strong and not abusive, they are not. she stupidly gave her brother a POA my attorney is in court tommorow getting it tossed. Judge didn;t like her family arguments at all, said look, he has already done 10 yrs and has done a fantastic job managing her affairs, illness and the child, you all did something ****ing stupid and they might be facing criminal charges for adult kid napping, custodial interference, minor kid napping and a few other felonies if the judge feels that it should be reffered to criminal court. So I am working on it, she needs to come home, even if it is to die, this situation is not right with me morally, she should be with the people she loves and that is me and her son and we love her and this is really ****ing aweful but it is the best thing for US as a FAMILy. Mostly her dad wanted my son, because he is just a idiot like that. he figured if he had her, he could get my kid. shame the judge here and there told them that they were on the border of being charged with kidnapping.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

DepressedHusband said:


> Just the quality these people are, they reject everyone they can't dominate, which is why she was with me, I am safe and strong and not abusive, they are not. she stupidly gave her brother a POA my attorney is in court tommorow getting it tossed. Judge didn;t like her family arguments at all, said look, he has already done 10 yrs and has done a fantastic job managing her affairs, illness and the child, you all did something ****ing stupid and they might be facing criminal charges for adult kid napping, custodial interference, minor kid napping and a few other felonies if the judge feels that it should be reffered to criminal court. So I am working on it, she needs to come home, even if it is to die, this situation is not right with me morally, she should be with the people she loves and that is me and her son and we love her and this is really ****ing aweful but it is the best thing for US as a FAMILy. Mostly her dad wanted my son, because he is just a idiot like that. he figured if he had her, he could get my kid. shame the judge here and there told them that they were on the border of being charged with kidnapping.


Holy ****! That's ridiculous. If she is going to die, she needs to be with the people who love her most. That's you and your boy. But you know what, I get it. My parents sound similar to her and I know they'd go for custody of our kids if anything happened to me, ridiculous as it is. She's being kept there against her will???? That's Insane! Are you able to get the police to go with you and escort her from their home? Some people are so. Stupid it physically hurts just looking at them.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

Saibasu said:


> Holy ****! That's ridiculous. If she is going to die, she needs to be with the people who love her most. That's you and your boy. But you know what, I get it. My parents sound similar to her and I know they'd go for custody of our kids if anything happened to me, ridiculous as it is. She's being kept there against her will???? That's Insane! Are you able to get the police to go with you and escort her from their home? Some people are so. Stupid it physically hurts just looking at them.


Well, it is a tenuous situation with her health being fragile, she is definitely trapped, she does not feel she can leave, it is a long distance to travel, etc. I am laying plans to go get her once I squash the POA so I don't have legal entanglements, I already shut down 2 attempts through the courts by her father and brother and frankly I called him and siad if he dragged me into court I would sue the **** otu of him for my lost wages, etc. I haven't even pulled my battleship mens rights attorney out of the slipway yet, this guy is a battleship " I do small business consulting" and he is effective like I am. 

bottom line, once I get this ****ing POA chucked tomorrow and I am certain it will happen because she signed it under duress, I can go ahead and get a guardianship here in my home state and then she will finally be protected from them forever.


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