# Told dd



## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

I am estranged from the kids, 15 and 22. 

Last night I texted dd that I had talked to her guidance counselor. She said she wanted me nowhere near her school.

And that I had walked out on the family. I reminded her that things were not good and she was aware I was getting my own place, and she was excited about it at first and wanted to redecorate etc. She said she had just been excited about the idea of a new place. 

She was well aware of his abuse. She saw it clearly then. 

She said I don't care about her dad. That when she was in the hospital and she had given me ten minutes to visit her, and I stayed 7 hours that I had smirked when he mentioned his recent heart scare. 

I told her that at almost 15 she was old enough to know that he cheated on me for 3 years and that is why the marriage soured. 

She said it was all nonsense and wants nothing more to do with me. 

Maybe it was a mistake to get into that. But the truth is the truth and I'm sick of him playing the victim.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I agree, she's old enough to process the truth. Sadly, I doubt she will believe you do to the parental alienation she's been subjected to for so long. Still, you gave her the truth, and hopefully, she will process it and realize not everything her dad tells her is true.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

It's partly age. You've said your piece. She may get it.... sooner or later. 

Just keep being the best mom that you can be in the meantime. Keep up the support, whether she likes it or not. Invite her to be a part of your life whenever you want to, but don't take it personal if she declines. 

I think, one day she will come around.


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## Convection (Apr 20, 2013)

I agree with what the others have said above, Indie. And then there is this:



indiecat said:


> Maybe it was a mistake to get into that. But the truth is the truth and *I'm sick of him playing the victim.*


Without being callous, let me say: It is about time! At the same time, don't fall into the victim chair yourself. Remove yourself from the game.

As to your daughter ... well, either she will believe you or she won't. All you can do is be the best mom you can. Part of that is setting an example by maintaining your self-respect and not allow anyone to treat you poorly ... including your daughter, and especially your ex. Even if she doesn't recognize that now, she will at some point.

Keep moving forward, sister.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You don't have to participate in any blame game. But continuing to go to her - against the advice you've received, btw - does nothing but give her more fuel for her drama fire. Your choice.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Indie,

I'm glad you finally told her the truth. What she chooses to do with it now is up to her, but at least you finally got it out there. Why protect him and his cheating?

Kudos to you.


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