# Is all lost??



## allison99 (Oct 16, 2013)

Hello, I have been married for 20+ years. There have been serious problems over the past few years. we love each other very much and are trying our best to work through them. Without going into all the problems, I am having difficulty with his personal issues. (this is outside of the mistakes we have made and hurt that we have caused each other). He is very insecure, jealous, possessive, etc. I find myself doing things and saying things he wants to hear just to keep him happy enough to give myself a little peace. Don't get me wrong, I know he loves me and he does everything he can to show me that he does. I believe these issues come from his childhood, however, I feel like I am going crazy trying to deal with them. I have to constantly "baby" him so I don't hurt his feelings. I don't know how much more I can take! I find myself thinking a lot about divorce but I know that can't happen because he won't let it. (that's a lot to go into). When it comes down to it, I guess I am too weak to walk out and I just can't stand to hurt him that way. I really love him and i know he loves me, but I just don't know what to do. I know most will say, "go to counseling", but we simply can't afford it right now so that is not an option. Can anyone please give me some advise here? Thanx!!!


----------



## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

You seem to have managed for 20 years. That is a long time. It is unlikely he will change if you havent changed him till now.

I am not sure youre doing the right thing by giving in to him. If his feelings need to be hurt, then perhaps you should hurt them. That is the only way he will 'grow' up.


----------

