# Starting to figure it out



## Plasty (Sep 29, 2013)

Wife of 5 months walked out 13 days ago. Didnt love her enough she said. Seems living with parents until our wedding produced a child in an adult body. So I get my hectic life and the basics of a marriage didnt fit with her idea of being taken care of like a child. So she stomped off to mamas house. 

Still hurts though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Better to have learned it now than with a two-year-old and car payments. Go dark on her and beware of taking back

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Sounds like mine. Spoiled rotten and only child who had expectations that were unrealistic. Daddy ruined mine by never saying "No". Ugh.


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## oviid (Sep 27, 2013)

It's must hurt. I mean five moths or not you were married. It takes something to get there. But I do agree better now than years later.


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## Plasty (Sep 29, 2013)

Yeah. I've been dark a week now. My guess she'll never reach out. I just don't believe that works to be honest. But I'm doing it. She's afraid of the big bad house where she didn't get to be parented so my guess she will never entertain coming back.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: Starting to figure it out*



oviid said:


> It's must hurt. I mean five moths or not you were married. It takes something to get there. But I do agree better now than years later.


Your best hope is to give her space. No woman likes a clingy man who begs or pleads.


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## GotLifeBack (Sep 12, 2013)

oviid said:


> It's must hurt. I mean five moths or not you were married. It takes something to get there. But I do agree better now than years later.


Or, as a guy who was with my wife for only 4 months before we separated, you could say that it's worse to separate sooner rather than later.

For me I feel like my wife handed me everything I've ever wanted on a silver platter, only to smash it out of my hands an all over the floor so suddenly afterwards.

All I wanted was to spend my life with her, she made that promise, and then broke it so quickly.


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## Plasty (Sep 29, 2013)

WantWifeBack said:


> Or, as a guy who was with my wife for only 4 months before we separated, you could say that it's worse to separate sooner rather than later.
> 
> For me I feel like my wife handed me everything I've ever wanted on a silver platter, only to smash it out of my hands an all over the floor so suddenly afterwards.
> 
> All I wanted was to spend my life with her, she made that promise, and then broke it so quickly.


Absolutely. And what I hear now is she is sitting at her home with her parents telling them about every little argument we've ever had and making me appear evil. One sided stories to garnish support for her choice to desert the marriage.


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

You agree you had arguments with her. Most parents would send her back. Did you get on with them. Most likely not and that seems to be the problem.


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## Plasty (Sep 29, 2013)

Got along fantastically with them. They were like my best friends. Did many things together. It was great. But they are very protective and once they hear she is hurt, especially if I treated her poorly, Im sure they can switch to think Im a bad person. Thats natural for protective parents.

I thought of asking to visit with them (the parents) to apologize for any wrongdoing, such as inflammatory fights, etc. I feel its normal to have fights, but with my wife, who is emotionally and psychologically immature, I think it ruined her idea of a fairytale marriage at month 5.

If the parents forgive, I believe its a step towards talking to her to help her forgive me. But this breaks the no contact rule.


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## accept1 (Sep 23, 2013)

Forget about the no contact rule. Its not cast in stone. You have to do what you can to make your marriage work. And it seems it can only be done through the parents.

Your idea of fighting being normal is not everyone's idea and it seems not your wife's or her parents. If that is still the case then you have to give up and find someone else.

Being right does not seem to help or work in a marriage. Many people like to be wrong. You have to accept that and not fight over everything just because you are right. Unless they are very major like spending huge amounts of money it is best to let them be.


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