# Changing Employment in the Near Future



## hawkeye11 (Apr 13, 2020)

Hello. I am new to this web site. I have put in one other post titled "The In-Laws and Enmeshment." This will be my second post.
I am in my early 50's, been married for almost 20 years, and have two children between the ages of 10 and 13. I have been a middle school teacher for about 20 years. My wife is also a teacher (which is how we met).
My problem (besides the issues I mentioned in my earlier post): I hate my job and also hate the school where I teach! Putting it mildly, teaching was never part of the game plan. As someone who loves history, I spent my 20's pretty much lost and didn't know what to do. I got a job teaching at age 30 and been doing it since. Not only is tolerating middle school behavior problems a taxing issue, so are the unbelievable problems at my school ( too many over too many years).

Due to my marriage problems and employment problems, I sought the help of a therapist at the age of 44. After years of therapy, his basic solution was that I need a "change of environment." Right or wrong, I made a decision a few years ago: I am leaving teaching come hell or high water and at all costs. Over the next few years, my sons will come through where I teach, get promoted, and then high school. I made a decision that I am leaving the classroom at that time (at the longest). The same year that my youngest is an 8th Grader would also be my 25th year teaching middle school. 

Regarding any member advice, which is greatly appreciated, no advice will be taken seriously of trying to get to between 30-35 years until my children graduate high school or college. I have wanted to leave for years, but have stayed only because of a mortgage and two children. Leaving a job is not necessarily a problem; getting a huge pay decrease is. But, this is going to happen.

My therapist has since retired. He was, and is, the only person who knows my plan. I have to do this. This job absolutely sucks and I'm sick of it. However, I also realize the problems of quitting will create. My wife and I are educated adults and work hard for our kids. But, she puts kids first, whereas I believe that marriage comes first. I constantly go through this debate of whether or not to tell her that I am leaving this job in the next 2-4 years. Read The In-Laws and Enmeshment to further understand why I don't really care if it makes her and her family upset.

Anyway, your advice. Should I tell her now or wait? I am going to try and look for other jobs in education that get me out of the classroom but haven't run across anything as of yet. Thoughts and opinions?


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

I'm not going to try and talk you out of it.
I spent 31 years in Education, 22 of it as an administrator.
I felt much the same way you did, however I stuck it out to a place where I could pull down a decent pension.
Do you teach in a public or a private school. I ask, because that could make some difference in income and strategy.
If you are covered by a public pension, are there other public positions you could work at that would be covered by the pension plan, or at least have reciprocity with it?
Are there any other positions, such as technology coordinator, for example, that you could transition into with little or no training, either in your district (or one in your area) that you would find palatable until retirement?
I'd say to formulate a plan before you tell her. I'd say to have that plan vetted by a career counselor and a financial professional as well, before telling her. 
I appreciate your situation, but don't shoot yourself in the foot because of it.
Best of luck.


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## vincent3 (May 31, 2018)

You certainly don't want to spring it on her at the last minute. Do your homework so you can propose a plan for weathering any reduction in your earnings, but give her time to understand what you're going through.

Have you calculated how much of a reduction in your pay your household can afford?

I agree with Tdbo's advice about seeing a career counselor and a financial planner.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

I had a job that I worked for 25 years and dearly loved it and was good at it; several promotions and the pay was great. Then it and the people changed around me and within a few weeks I went from loving it to hating it. I would intentionally go without a flu shot every year because I figured 3 days of the flu was better than 3 days at work. I was 8 years away from a full pension so I wasn't about to leave that behind. I was operating my own business (photography studio) part time and wanted to move it to full time and get out of that hell hole.

So I sat down with my wife and we came up with a list of goals that had to happen in order for me to leave my job. For instance, we decided that we wanted to be debt free. In case the business went belly-up (which it eventually did after the 2008 recession) we wouldn't have to worry about losing our home. We wanted to replace my full income so knowing what my pension would be, I needed to get the business up to the level where it made up the balance. We wanted enough money in the bank to pay cash for our next vehicle. We took care of big ticket items such as new carpet, appliances, etc. so we wouldn't be faced with those expenses after I made my move. We had 8 years to get everything done and we did it in 6. The key for us is that we were in agreement with the goal and we worked the plan together.

I agree with vincent3; DO NOT spring this on your wife. Changing careers is too big of a life change for both of you. You need her cooperation and her buy-in. Since you have some time, start talking to her about it now and ask her to help you plan for it.


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## hawkeye11 (Apr 13, 2020)

Tdbo said:


> I'm not going to try and talk you out of it.
> I spent 31 years in Education, 22 of it as an administrator.
> I felt much the same way you did, however I stuck it out to a place where I could pull down a decent pension.
> Do you teach in a public or a private school. I ask, because that could make some difference in income and strategy.
> ...


I work at a public charter school. I've taught middle school history since 1998. The truth is that I want both out of this school, but I want out of the classroom. I don't have the same energy or desire level I had back in the day. I've looked at a number of possibilities; but all lead to a significant reduction in income. My family lives in SW Florida which is an expensive place to live and own a home (which we do). I do not have alternative skills to change careers and I'm not getting any younger. The place where I work is filled with gender-cliques, gossipers, back-stabbers, liars, and overall extremely unethical people (such is the case in public education when there is no on-site accountability). Sorry, don't want to be negative, but this situation has led to therapy and being on an anti-depressant. I can't imagine what a career counselor could possibly tell me at age 51, but I will consider it. Thanks.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

hawkeye11 said:


> I work at a public charter school. I've taught middle school history since 1998. The truth is that I want both out of this school, but I want out of the classroom. I don't have the same energy or desire level I had back in the day. I've looked at a number of possibilities; but all lead to a significant reduction in income. My family lives in SW Florida which is an expensive place to live and own a home (which we do). I do not have alternative skills to change careers and I'm not getting any younger. The place where I work is filled with gender-cliques, gossipers, back-stabbers, liars, and overall extremely unethical people (such is the case in public education when there is no on-site accountability). Sorry, don't want to be negative, but this situation has led to therapy and being on an anti-depressant. I can't imagine what a career counselor could possibly tell me at age 51, but I will consider it. Thanks.


What a good career counselor can do is assess your skillset, and provide you feedback/suggestions for occupations or employment that would be feasible for you.
Since you are in a charter school, I assume that you do not pay into a state teacher retirement system? If you just pay into Social security, then it will be easier for you to detach. Are there occupations that you have considered such as real estate or insurance sales, for a couple of examples? If you have a short list, a career counselor could provide you with information or resources to assist you in the transition.
Another idea: Are you geographically close to a community college? Many of these offer career services you could utilize. Look at their diploma or Associate degree programs. Do any of those interest you? If so, do they have a work/study type program where you might teach math there for a couple of years or so, for a stipend plus tuition reimbursement toward whatever program you would like to pursue, while you are completing the coursework? Might be worth looking at. If you just want out of the building and the middle school drama, you could look at adjunct positions in this type of setting. I have worked with people who have made pretty good money teaching a course or two during a semester. This could buy you some time to help you transition. 
If you have something you really want to do, but the beginning money is not there, perhaps you could pursue your dream, but use an adjunct teaching position in a community college to augment your income until the salary of your selected vocation reaches the point where you can detach from teaching.
If you cant find something to jump into, look for something and a path you can transition into.


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## TimPaige (Jul 3, 2020)

Employment will soon become a big problem because robots and artificial intelligence are coming to replace conventional professions such as driver, salesman, teacher. It's definitely cool, but don't forget that it can negatively affect our lives in the future. Even now, after the coronavirus crisis, it is very difficult to find a job, and if it were not for the linked-in network, then I would simply have remained idle. There I found a lot of cool vacancies, but very quickly I was disappointed because I needed recommendations, but my friend helped me. He learned all the tips and tricks for creating the perfect recommendation for employers from linkedjetpack.com and I had a hard time getting the job. If it is already difficult to get a job, then what will happen next?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I just did something similar a few months ago. I left a job making great money but wanted to do something else making much less money. They difference between you and I is I had a plan and followed it. I took care of all the financial responsibility items before I switched. You don’t sound like you have a plan at all... just the desire to quit.


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## Dughis (Oct 31, 2019)

I am learning how to be a fireman. It is challenging to be in, as you are responsible for protecting others while working inside a confined space


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie cat has determined that this Zombie thread must be closed down.


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