# Is there Hope?



## Nitrovapor7066

Hello my wife and I have been married almost 29 years and also high school sweethearts but almost 3 weeks ago my wife said she was done and isn’t in love with me anymore but does love me and I was devastated but I knew she hasn’t been happy. I’m a recovering addict and have been on medication to control my temptations for opioids and my wife supported this when I wound up in the hospital, I have been on subutex for years and have been terrified to go off of it in fear of a relapse and losing her but this medicine has side effects and I pretty wasn’t there for her emotionally or intimately and over the years on this medicine I kept telling myself I needed to get off because I’m not me anymore when I’m on it if that makes sense and I knew my wife wasn’t happy being with me being on it because it’s now a crutch and when I talk to my counselor about setting a date to start tapering off I never hold up to it because of the fear of relapsing but she ended it anyway and she was right to do so and she said no more chances because I say I’ll change and I never do because of fear. We have had times like this over the years but this time I felt the reality of it. We are still living together and get along great like we are still a couple and we have 2 boys 1 is on his own and the other is home and just turned 18 last week and he doesn’t know yet but my older son knows, the marriage hasn’t been brought up since that day and she hasn’t said anything about telling my other son even though he is old enough to understand we talk and watch tv together and cook and eat together, I also always fell asleep on the couch and never went to bed and that bothered her to because I think maybe she thought that I didn’t care about the marriage but it isn’t true the medicine I’m on nods me out and when I wake up it’s already morning and I rarely went to bed with her because she goes to bed very early because she’s up at 4 am to get ready for work. I know that the medicine had a huge part in this and I overcame my fear and started tapering on my own instead of with my counceler because they only care about money and it would be a slow and long process and my wife knows that I’m tapering and I’m confident in myself that I can free of this crutch but it seems she doesn’t care which probably don’t about it she never asks how I’m doing because you can become ill if you go down to much at one time but I admit the first few says where a little scary but I stayed on course, I’m also confused because she calls me several times a day everyday to see what’s going on and tells me how her day is going, am I just full of false hope? I know it’s only been a few weeks and I don’t want to give up on our marriage because I love her more than anything in the world and it’s been real hard accepting that she no longer wants be with me and I would do anything to fix our marriage and I know I have to focus on fixing myself because of my addiction and I am working hard on it but how is she to know that I am trying to change if we never talk about it? Maybe she senses it or hears it in my voice I don’t know or does she really not care and I am just a tenant in the house now?


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## BluesPower

Listen, I want to be honest, she is done, and with you as an addict, most people would have told her to be done years ago.

I understand that this is devastating, but as someone that was married to an addict, the best thing I ever did was divorce her. And she was sober at the time, I had just had enough.

She wants out, she is tired of being your care taker. I don't blame her. It is time for you to grow up, and understand that your "Sickness" is not just your problem, it is EVERYONE's problem in your family.

I understand that you probably don't want to hear this, but you have to face facts.

If the "Cure" for your addiction caused you to be an eunuch and an emotional zombie, would you want to be around that?

Time to be an full person, get off that med, stay off the dope, and become and new person.

Really you should just thank your wife for staying with you as long as she did.

You can see some of this, can't you???


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## Tilted 1

I could be said differently, but believe BP.


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