# Like a ton of bricks on my chest.



## StbrnMonkey (Nov 28, 2011)

After reading the many threads on this topic I am still compelled to add yet another. 

Yesterday, my wife of ten years (no kids) informed me that she will be leaving the marriage. Needless to say I am devastated and feel like I have been dropped into a bottomless pit. 

We have been extremly close over the past several years with the exception of the last three when we began to grow apart. She is a very stoic person and extremely intelligent and always hesitant to share what's on her mind. I'm the opposite. 

We commute to work together, work in the same building, eat lunch together, ride home together, and of course, we live together. I have recognized the potential problem here and I have shared it. She has no female friends. When giving the opportunity to hang out with female co-worker she declines. 

We argue and I end up raising my voice in frustration, she is always taken aback by my "animated" response to the topic of discussion. When we first had these arguments I talked her into a joint MC session, actually two. When it time to meet with the MC alone, she said it was lame and refused to go. This was three years ago. Things never changed and here we are. She is finally going to see a counselor today for some personal issues she needs to work out. It is her first private visit with a professional ever. This morning she said despite the visit she is still leaving.

I tried the 180 yesterday. I felt good. Last night she wanted to share a bottle of wine and watch TV. We got along fine until the wine kicked-in and I asked about us. She steadfastly refused to discuss it and said it was too late this time. She still wants to be friends, I can't do this. I should have forgone the invitation and kept with the 180 d'oh!!

Heartbroken and lost.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

StbrnMonkey said:


> She is a very stoic person ......
> Heartbroken and lost.


I am sorry and feel your pain. The word "Stoic" caught my eye. This is exactly what our MC/IC said to me about my WAW this past weekend. I can relate. Very hard to read and keeps it all in.

Do the 180 all the way, not part way like me. I have failed over and over. Do not ask about the relationship at all and do it for yourself.

Us guys that have a heart sometimes end up with the Women who keep it hidden. Very tough to handle.

Hang in there!!


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## StbrnMonkey (Nov 28, 2011)

Indeed it is. Thanks for the kind words.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

And you need to stick with the 180 for as long as it takes! A few hours is nothing more than a good start...


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## StbrnMonkey (Nov 28, 2011)

Thanks guys. I can't seem to find the sticky on the 180. I came across it yesterday, no luck today. Any idea where I can find it?

Thanks


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