# Destroyed my Purpose



## brianthornton (Jun 15, 2012)

Over 2 years of dating and 4 years of marriage my wife filled for divorce 3 weeks ago....

I told her I would do anything to keep it together and to continue to give my son a mother and father nuclear family..

She asked me to sign over full custody, which I did.

The attorneys, counselors and friends all said she took advantage of my desire to reconcile in doing so. She's a great person! We met through church and there has never been a better mom in this world....

I wake up each day regretful for the divorce and thinking if I was nice to her it would go away... I love her now more... But I can't reconcile with hating her or being angry....

How do I do this? 

How do I wake up confident she is over me and it's my job to find someone new?

How do I stop the crying recalling the arguments we had...

There was verbal abuse in the marriage and I would love to take it back but she is done....

I've seen a counselor every 3 or 4 days and it's not helping it sink in...

I now have an attorney so I don't worry about my son. I know the court system with work that out..

Thanks,
Brian
Brian Thornton | Facebook


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

You are going through the same as all of us,read our threads, one thing ive learned is its going to take time,looooooots of time. Don't beg her,plead or anything like that.no begging give her space & maybe she'll miss you


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Good, I see you're not attempting to argue with her by any means. She wants custody and a few things that you won't suffer by sacrificing, give it to. Don't make any excuses to argue with her while she's looking for reasons to hate you. Unfortunately, you're going to have to apologize for being so abusive and take 100% of the blame to get her to stop abusing you. Just do it to appease her hurt feelings and don't blame yourself. You're not anywhere near as bad as she makes you out to be.


Take your time now to vent and start healing. The first thing you need to do let the dust settle and stop defending her perfection to yourself. You both need time to settle down and relax. You'll hear from her again but you're no where near emotionally ready and won't be until you stop seeing her as your world and set some boundaries for yourself. She walked out on you and quit on your marriage, she does not deserve your level of commitment to save your marriage. But you can use that commitment to respect her wishes and follow the 180.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Woah partner!

Are you sure youre making rational decisions about custody and visitation with that kiddo right now? 
The pain of this kind of thing can be debilitating and certainly confuse otherwise straightforward yet HIGHLY important decisions that are going to affect the REST of your life with that kid.

You signed over custody becuase you want to please this "great person" of a walk away wife?
Im not trying to condemn you or your decisions, but think hard man. Dont rely on a court to sort anything out for you, and work out a decent visitation schedule with the ex for that kid!!!!

GAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!


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## ferndog (Dec 2, 2011)

So whats the update?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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