# 7 Signs He Is Unhappily Married



## tonygunner007 (Apr 24, 2015)

Unhappiness in marriage is the main cause of infidelity - and divorce.

I came across this article on Huffington Post titled; 7 Signs Your Husband Is Unhappily Married

I will reserve my openion till i hear what you guys have to say.

So go ahead. Read it and give me your point of view... 7 Signs Your Husband Is Unhappily Married


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

1, 3, maybe 4.
typical drivel from Huff.


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## McDean (Jun 13, 2015)

1 - this is probably true for both genders - if you feel like either way you will be criticized etc...it gets old
2 - honestly, rolling the eyes is lame but I would offer that my friends and I have discussed this, I don't need a 'cast of 1000s' around me at all times but to us it sometimes feels like women do....it also gets old
3 - again, applies to both genders equally I believe
4 - this one is drivel - welcome to the adult world - people who are driven or want to get ahead have to put in extra hours at times, just balance it out
5 - again happens with both genders
6 - applies with both genders and is an offshoot of #2, if hanging with friends is more important than hanging wit spouse then it is an issue
7 - applies to either gender an is a tell tale sign of the marriage going down in flames

#7 is the worst of these the rest are annoyances but it may be better to consider how many of the 7 you see as that could tell you a lot more, one of seven is probably normal except for #7 itself....


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## Heatherknows (Aug 21, 2015)

tonygunner007 said:


> Unhappiness in marriage is the main cause of infidelity - and divorce.
> 
> I came across this article on Huffington Post titled; 7 Signs Your Husband Is Unhappily Married
> 
> ...


If the article is true it seems my husband isn't too happy.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

#1 - it was definitely true of me. No matter what I did it just didn't seem to be enough. 
#2 - Another truism. I always felt like there were things that needed done and running off to some party for some distant relative was getting in the way. I understood going to gatherings for close relatives and even planned for them, but her second cousin's third marriage ceremony?
#3 - also true. I remember the subtle comments - "the flower beds sure look like ****" for example, she never offered to help with them, but she sure had an opinion of them. The same was true of almost everything else. She wanted things her way, but no offer to help.
#4 - I am self employed, so this isn't really true of me, but it was of her.
#5 - true, despite her mantra of "forgiving and forgetting" whenever any attempt was made to have a conversation about an issue, amazingly enough things she imagined I said years ago would pop right to the surface.
#6 - also true. I had some friends I had breakfast with regularly, apparently this meant I wasn't doing my share because I should have been working instead. Over the years I attempted to accomodate her feelings to my own detriment
#7 - also true. mainly because of #5 above. Anytime I tried to have a conversation about my unhappiness it always became an argument with lots of defensive posturing on both sides.
Bottom line was that we didn't know how to communicate with each other and even if we had we would still have needed to overcome the shared ignorance of not understanding how a relationship is supposed to work.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

tonygunner007 said:


> Unhappiness in marriage is the main cause of infidelity


I stopped reading after this. The main cause of infidelity is not being able to cope with unhappiness and feeling entitled, justified and resentful about it. They are two VERY different things.


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

I used this line in another thread but I think it's a truism worth mentioning here as well.

Nothing insults a woman like a male body at rest.


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

All of these ring true for me...... :\


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

lostmyreligion said:


> Nothing insults a woman like a male body at rest.


I disagree with this. I would love to see my husband rest more.


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## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

#1 - Absolutely. The negativity was stifling, and blame inescapable. She'd find ways to blame me for mistakes she herself made. Simple things like driving the family to an event would have me geared up before we left the garage, just waiting for the snark about how I was going too slow, or too fast, or I should go around, or I took the wrong way, or didn't gun it at the light, or etc etc etc. And of course, any workaround I tried (Why don't you drive? If you can keep the opinions to yourself, we won't argue, and I won't miss turns, etc) was ignored, because complaining was what she was aiming for.

#2 - Nah

#3 - An offshoot of #1. When you're expecting criticism instead of thanks for doing something, you put it off unless you're in a good enough mood to take a few slaps to the ego. This justifiably leads to nagging, but nagging is just extra negative feedback, so it's a nasty cycle.

#4 - Guilty. I'd often stay an extra 30 min or more and just surf the internet to relax for a min, because I knew when I got home it would be stressful and I could use the break to build up some calm before that.

#5 - Yes, yes, god yes. Any argument in the last two years circled around to an incident where I had suggested that she'd be happier if she found a job, or a volunteer position,or a hobby, or just generally doing something she loved to fill the days. I thought I was being supportive, and saying I'd do anything I could to help with that, but I made the mistake of saying something along the lines of, "You used to be so much more vibrant back when you were working at that place you enjoyed, remember? I miss that." Whew, BIG mistake. That one statement was never resolved -- I rephrased, I apologized, I called upon the fact that our initial marriage retreat had focused on not holding grudges. I asked what I could do for us to get past it, and the answer was always "I don't know". 2 years of fights over that, although I tend to think nowadays it was just the only thing she could conveniently use as justification that I was awful so it was OK for her to sleep with a bunch of other men.

#6 - Nah, not really. Maybe a little, here and there?

#7 - Yes. This is my big 'learn to work on yourself' takeaway from the whole thing. I'd get cranky if she wanted to talk as I'm in the middle of falling asleep, but she'd (fairly) point out that we were always watching TV before that, or doing something else, and there was *never* a good time. I should have made more time earlier on the relationship to just talk instead of watching TV together. Later on, I was proactively making time to talk, but every conversation ended back on the "You made me feel worthless saying I was more vibrant back then, and I can't forgive you", I'd ask what we could do, she'd say she needed time, and I'd drop it. Rinse and repeat. Maybe it was a mistake to take her word at 'needing time', and I should have been more proactive in continuing to bring it up -- or maybe it was just done for at that point (there was plenty of cheating around then, so likely the latter). Still, a takeaway I have going forward is to be proactive in talking about these things, set aside time, and keep coming back regularly to 'I need to think about it' items instead of letting them fester.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

We didn't have any of these issues accept for of 3. my H being the one nagging, Not about me just to me about everything in general . Until he had an A now I would be guilty of 6. with certain people & you can add 7. to his list. Oh & he still nags about everything. lol


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## EverythingU.RNot (Sep 2, 2015)

My husband is definitely unhappy... Finally! We have something in common!!!! LoL

Kidding aside, most of these things this article claims women do that beat down a man's confidence, are also things men do to wear down a woman's....

My husband is a big sigher and eye roller.

That hurts. Or used to.....


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