# Hi there!



## wopette

I'm not sure if this will land in the right section. Hello everyone, my name is Christine. I'm married to a long distance truck driver, together we have 4 children and 7 grandchildren together. I found this site on my online travels, so I thought I'd join as I've been looking for somewhere to discuss marriage as I married later in life. 45, first marriage. He's 47 3rd marriage. LONG story.. But I thought I'd introduce myself, and say hello...Hello. :laugh:


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## SunCMars

Hello. Welcome!

Now to the rest of the storied past.

Why has Mr. Wopette gone through two marriages and now on his third?

No mercy here!


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## wopette

LOL...Mr. Wopette and I went to high school together, he a grade ahead of me. I came from a troubled home, he did not. He wanted to "lead" me as a young couple, and I wasn't having any of that nonsense at that time. So, we broke up. I went off my way, never got married...He dated a girl after me, had sex, got her pregnant, does the "right thing" and gets married. 2 kids later, he's a long haul driver, comes home to find out she's off carrying on with another man. 

A couple years go by, he meets another woman, no kids...They get married after 12 years of being together, comes home..She's been running up debt in his name to the tune of $70000 yes, that's 4 0's and was shagging the landlord to get out of the rent to keep for herself...I kid you not.....

Sorry for the late reply, just figuring out how to move around in here..


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## browser

wopette said:


> 2 kids later, he's a long haul driver, comes home to find out she's off carrying on with another man.
> 
> A couple years go by, he meets another woman, no kids...They get married after 12 years of being together, comes home..She's been running up debt in his name to the tune of $70000 yes, that's 4 0's and was shagging the landlord to get out of the rent to keep for herself...I kid you not.....


Those are the stories he told you. I wonder if they'd say the same thing. 

And if not, what makes you think he's more truthful then they are?


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## wopette

Well the children validated the first one...

The proposal for the debt and the divorce papers for the other.....


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## wopette

Yes, he is that sort of guy to get walked on like that. I could EASILY do it to him and he'd be none the wiser..He's just like that by his own nature. Once he trusts you, it's ALL...

The only reason he married me, is because it was me...We've always had a "weird" thing between us. 20 years went by and we got together and it was like "normal"...


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## browser

wopette said:


> Well the children validated the first one...
> 
> The proposal for the debt and the divorce papers for the other.....


Like I said, there's his story and the truth, and the kids could have been told anything and just because there was a debt that doesn't necessarily mean it happened in the way that you were told it did and people write things in divorce papers that speak badly of the other person which are not necessarily true just because they sign and notarize on the dotted line.


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## wopette

No the kids are all grown up now, I'm very close with his daughter, the stuff she's told me....Yeesh...His past marriages are not an issue for me. The first one is a flake, LONG gone...The second one passed away a couple of years ago. 

We're 11 years in now, he's an amiable guy..We have a good marriage on the whole I'd say. And the crap he takes from me is phenomenal...LOL


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## browser

Then you're all good. 

I don't mind being wrong once in a while.

Although from your first post it sounds like there might be some bumps.

*Edited to add.*

I just read your other thread where after at least 10 years of marriage and fixing his credit and slowly but steadily making plans to secure your financial future, your husband went and made a horrible major decision without consulting with you that threw your entire 10 years worth of careful financial planning right into the garbage can.

I hate being right all the time.


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## wopette

Yeah, that's our bump right there.....


OOOOHHHH, HOT spot for me.


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## TBT

wopette said:


> Yes, he is that sort of guy to get walked on like that. I could EASILY do it to him and he'd be none the wiser..He's just like that by his own nature. Once he trusts you, it's ALL...
> 
> *The only reason he married me, is because it was me...We've always had a "weird" thing between us. 20 years went by and we got together and it was like "normal"...*


Well now,isn't that special! :wink2: Just kidding... welcome aboard @wopette!


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## browser

That's more than a bump. 

It's a sure sign of why his first two marriages failed. 

He doesn't operate like half a couple. He does what he wants, when he wants it, regardless of the effect it might have on his committed partner. 

This is why you are here and why your head is spinning and why you're running out of ways to defend this "nice guy" who just happened to meet 2 wrong people before he married you.


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## GuyInColorado

Does he love you like a wrecking ball when he gets home from his trips? Hah


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## wopette

It's the only BIG wrong he's done in 11 years. He got excited and jumped for something he's always wanted..He knows I'm angry, he also knows I'll ride it through.


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## wopette

GuyInColorado said:


> Does he love you like a wrecking ball when he gets home from his trips? Hah


HA! Yeah, we're still functioning......But we won't discuss that...


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## wopette

TBT said:


> Well now,isn't that special! :wink2: Just kidding... welcome aboard @wopette!


Thanks TBT...


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## SunCMars

wopette said:


> *HA! Yeah, we're still functioning......But we won't discuss that..*.


But Dearie, when you boil the meat from the bone, separate the chaff from the wheat, the man from his foibles, it is "*THAT*" which the worth lays nestled in.

It is the tender moments, the hugs and the kisses and the intimate moans and guttural grunts that hold the marriage together.

Why else a man and a woman live?

The rest?

Mere window dressing. Dainty table cloth's for the in-laws and grandchildren to view.

Big debts in your marriage?

The real debts are to each other. Him for loving a hard women and you for forgiving his eager dreams, not realized.

The man blew his bank roll on a truck. A foolish error, yes, but one connected to his profession. 

For example: A carpenter buys tools, a van and maybe a Fixer-upper. He works his tail off on the house. In it, he puts in more worth than he can get out of it. He ends up with no serious buyers. He goes bankrupt. These things are dreams and as dreams be, some never materialize.


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## wopette

SunCMars said:


> But Dearie, when you boil the meat from the bone, separate the chaff from the wheat, the man from his foibles, it is "*THAT*" which the worth lays nestled in.
> 
> It is the tender moments, the hugs and the kisses and the intimate moans and guttural grunts that hold the marriage together.
> 
> Why else a man and a woman live?
> 
> The rest?
> 
> Mere window dressing. Dainty table cloth's for the in-laws and grandchildren to view.
> 
> Big debts in your marriage?
> 
> The real debts are to each other. Him for loving a hard women and you for forgiving his eager dreams, not realized.
> 
> The man blew his bank roll on a truck. A foolish error, yes, but one connected to his profession.
> 
> For example: A carpenter buys tools, a van and maybe a Fixer-upper. He works his tail off on the house. In it, he puts in more worth than he can get out of it. He ends up with no serious buyers. He goes bankrupt. These things are dreams and as dreams be, some never materialize.


I know, that's why I'm here..To get some perspective so I can be at peace with it and help him now that he's done it. His getting the truck isn't the only reason I started having panic attacks, it was just the straw that broke the camels (me) back. I give him credit for carrying me through the last two years of me being essentially mentally disabled.


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## SunCMars

wopette said:


> I know, that's why I'm here..To get some perspective so I can be at peace with it and help him now that he's done it. His getting the truck isn't the only reason I started having panic attacks, it was just the straw that broke the camels (me) back. *I give him credit for carrying me through the last two years of me being essentially mentally disabled.*


I too, do this.....carry my panic prone spouse.

In her mind, it is her little form and her skinny arms that carry me. But as SunCMars, I can easily carry an anxious women. 

But I cannot carry myself. So heavy be my desire. An unrealized desire that will someday collapse under its own weight. 

Age does not kill desire. It converts it to useless steam.

The End of Life cannot be Buyers Remorse. For no one purchases their own form and their own {right to a happy life} permit, oft coming with a limited purpose clause.

Our Shell is always a Gift.....take it or leave it.


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## wopette

That's the thing though, I had NEVER had a panic attack till 2 years ago..Ever...This "thing" has turned my whole life upside down. 

2 years before this, I worked, functioned, the whole bit. I've always been high strung, but this....Knocked me for a loop. 

Just too much stuff happening in too little a time frame I think.


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