# Dating Dealbreaker- Picky Eater



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


What the heck does "any staple of normal" mean?


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Meaning the normal foods restaurant carries- bbq, hamburgers, crawfish etc


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. No BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


Well, how important is the food that your partner eats to you? I mean, often, I practice a Low carb, Moderate protein, high fat diet to maintain a certain weight. I mean, it may be that he is simply picky (also, I hate melted cheese, mayo, and ketchup), but is this somehow a deal-breaker? Does he demand that you conform to his dietary ideals? Or do you require that he conform to yours? Is food this important to you? Maybe, just go to restaurants that cater to the tastes of both of you.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> Meaning the normal foods restaurant carries- bbq, hamburgers, crawfish etc


Nevermind. If he doesn't crawdads, cut his ass loose:wink2:.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Sue4473 said:


> Meaning the normal foods restaurant carries- bbq, hamburgers, crawfish etc


I don't eat red meat or seafood. I have had no shortage of partners. I'm GLAD I was never with anyone with your (probably) deal breaker attitude about food I didn't care to eat.

FYI most restaurants I go to don't tend to BBQ or hamburgers, anyway.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

For me, extreme pickiness would absolutely be a deal breaker. I enjoy cooking (and eating) adventurously and would not pair well with someone who had a lot of food aversions. I don't think any less of them, I just know we won't be a good match and would have to cut them loose. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

That was my thinking as well- I like to cook and try new places. If it was one or two things ok- I can live with that, but he really didn’t tell me what he does eat? He says the look, smell, texture, etc grossed him out.
Hmmm I wonder if he is grossed out by doing something to a woman down there. I know off topic but that did come to mind. 😜😜


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

I love salmon patties.....she doesn't
I like chicken livers.......she doesn't
I like deer meat...........she doesn't

He could be diabetic and hasn't told you yet. Could have food allergies. Being this picky 

is okay....in high school. Not in the real world.

Maybe you can meet a guy that likes all the foods you do but has a criminal record.... that's a match!


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

As someone who has been called a picky eater before, not it wouldn't bother me. But, I would have trouble if we got serious enough that I found myself having to cook for him on a regular basis. My STBX can't have dairy and one thing I do not miss is having to worry about cooking dairy free anymore. I'd hate to have to add a whole bunch of other stuff to the can't make that list.


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> That was my thinking as well- I like to cook and try new places. If it was one or two things ok- I can live with that, but he really didn’t tell me what he does eat? *He says the look, smell, texture, etc grossed him out.
> Hmmm I wonder if he is grossed out by doing something to a woman down there. I know off topic but that did come to mind*. 😜😜


Hunh?


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


Yes, I think so.

The experience of enjoying a great meal together is one of life's greatest pleasures and a very bonding experience in my mind. I understand there will always be some preferences that don't match perfectly but it would be a real downer to be with someone who disliked so much that I enjoyed.

I want to be able to explore new foods together, not have to make two different meals (my good food and his nightly macaroni and cheese!)

And I suspect it says something about his personality in general: resistant, pessimist, scared, stubborn...


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Sue4473 said:


> That was my thinking as well- I like to cook and try new places. If it was one or two things ok- I can live with that, but he really didn’t tell me what he does eat? He says the look, smell, texture, etc grossed him out.
> Hmmm I wonder if he is grossed out by doing something to a woman down there. I know off topic but that did come to mind. 😜😜


I'm curious, what was he like aside from the food aversion? I've read that pickyness over food, especially texture, is one symptom of autism.


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## SarcasticRed (Feb 21, 2018)

I am fairly picky and my husband has some foods he doesn't like. But we haven't had any big issues and 90% of the time can find a place with stuff we both like easily. There is a big difference between "I don't like mushrooms" or "I don't eat pork" and "I don't like any Italian food and won't eat anything resembling Italian food". 

Someone who ruled out several of the more commonly found options (Mexican, BBQ, Italian) would likely not be very compatible with me in the long run as those are what I like. Location matters also. Where I live, not liking Mexican, BBQ or Italian rules out probably 80-85% of the non-fast food choices. So while it wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker, it would be a factor when considering compatibly.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

It would be an absolute deal breaker for me. I still remember what we cooked together on our first real date, swordfish kebabs.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I actually have moved on from a prospective partner upon learning that he had severe food restrictions. He was a very nice man, we had a lot of points of compatibility. But, on our second date, I discovered that he doesn't consume any fruit besides grapes and apples, tomatoes, soy, onions, nuts, seafood of any type, dairy, "grains", pork, mushrooms, or alcohol. Now, a couple of those were related to health issues, but the rest were taste/texture issues that I would consider general pickiness. When eating at restaurants, he much preferred fast-casual 'American food' chains to local places because they more reliably had offerings that met his needs and preferences. But he was still that customer that asks for every single dish to be customized and modified for him. 

I love to cook and enjoy cooking with my partner. I also love to try new foods and types of cuisines. I honestly could not envision being happy spending the rest of my life with someone who did not enjoy food in a real way and wasn't interested in adventuring through the food world with me. We would never try a new restaurant or a new cuisine together. I could never share my grandmother's wonderful recipes with him. He'd never want to spend a long evening in the kitchen together making home-made sauce or muddling our way laughingly through a new recipe over a bottle of wine. 

There was nothing wrong with that man. In fact, I truly hope he found someone less of a foodie, with a less adventurous palate, and has settled down with her into a ridiculously happy life together. But I was not that woman. There was nothing wrong with either of us. We simply weren't compatible. I went on to find myself a great guy who does share my love of cooking and food and trying new things.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I think anyone is entitled to have anything they want as a deal-breaker. 

If we switch the genders, yes, picky eating would be a deal-breaker for me. I'm a therapist, so my job is to read too much into everything. 



Sue4473 said:


> Hmmm I wonder if he is grossed out by doing something to a woman down there. I know off topic but that did come to mind.


Yeah I wondered if that was in the back of your mind! Lol.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


Yes, honestly this would bother me. Not because I think he should be like everyone else, but it would be a constant difficulty in even just going out for a meal together. Something so basic shouldnt be so difficult. Would also make me wonder what else in life he was so eccentric about.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I dated a guy last year who seemed more on the picky side about food. 

On our second date, we went to dinner, and he order a small salad. Not a hearty salad, like a Cobb, but a tiny little thing, and it made me very self-conscious about eating a normal meal.

Then we went out again to a movie. Well, the movie theater experience for me includes junk. I don't go very often, but when I do, I enjoy getting food there - and I was completely willing to pay for it. 

I could've gone without, but I wanted to make the choices I would've made without him there. So, he wanted to pay for it, and before I chose a popcorn size, I asked if would share it with me. He said yes, but then didn't touch it, and complained after the movie was over about how much was going to be thrown away.

I think he cared about all this more than I did, and we didn't see each other again.


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## MorningRoll (Mar 5, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


You have the right to be with someone who shares your interests, and food is a big part of that. I love to cook. So does DH. There are things my husband and i don’t like that the other does like, but we are able to encourage each other to branch out and find things we both enjoy.

I dated a man in his 30s who ordered from the kids menu. Cheese pizza, chicken tenders, no sauces, no spices. It wasnt a dietary issue. He just didn’t like grown up food. That definitely got old after only two dates.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

In my volunteer work I work with children and young teens a lot. I've dealt with some seriously picky eaters. Try camping a week with that kid who only eats pancakes, cold cereal hot dogs and mac and cheese. I will say this by the end of the week he could cook his own food competently. Now I have a sister who won't eat mushrooms, and my wife won't eat bell peppers or cilantro, That kind of thing I can work around. The guy I worked with who never ate any vegetable that was chunkier than ketchup because of the texture, well that would not work out long term. 

Based on my experience up to this age, a guy as picky as this man I would be very suspicious that there is something else going on.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I would not really enjoy dating someone who was so rigid in preference about anything. I mean, food sensitivities? Sure. I can cook anything. But "picky" -- well just looks liked closed to me.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Hmmm...this is an interesting topic. My Dear Hubby was absolutely allergic to white flour--like anaphylactic shock allergic--and once we realized what was causing it, at first my mind just exploded with all the food we could no longer eat! I mean if you think about it, white flour is used in so much of the typical American diet, and it can be so hidden, that in a way it felt like a deal-breaker (not in a "leave him" kind of way, but like a "holy smoke how are we going to eat anything" way). 

Then, we started getting into just eating what I call "single ingredient foods"--vegetables that are fresh grown, meat that is just lean, fruit grown with no chemicals, etc. And we started getting into using herbs and spices to make things flavorful. We started what turned into almost a Paleo kind of diet and progressed to learning how to really cook flavorful, delicious food...and then "how do we make pasta with no flour?" "how do we make something like bread with no flour?" "how do we make some sort of sweet?" etc. We got creative and would look for original recipes from different countries and adapt them so it had no flour. Some were absolute flops and we'd laugh "Well that didn't work!" Others were genius and even more delicious because they were pretty organic. 

After Dear Hubby passed, I kept eating that way because it's healthy! And fun. And interesting and creative. And having met EB, well a couple years ago he lost his gall bladder and hasn't found it yet so he has REALLY misplaced it! LOL  He can't have any fat because it hurts like appendicitis if he does...so no red meat or fatty pork or bacon. Restaurants in town very often/usually serve main dishes that would make him sick (although breakfast and certain Thai restaurants can work). Soooo... what I've found is very lean pork chops, turkey breakfast sausage, and ground turkey do the trick. Yeah, it's not the lovely flavor of a good ground beef hamburger, but man, ground turkey with avocado and cheese and some spices thrown in for flavoring (like mesquite!) on the grill is AMAZING. So technically, yeah we're picky. But on the other hand, it's not, because we experiment and spice and try new countries--just can't do it at restaurants. He's a master chef and "cooks from the hip"--I follow recipes--but the food experience isn't diminished just because the ingredients are limited.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Have you ever read Weston Price's book, _Nutrition and Physical Degeneration_?

He goes into great detail about the introduction of processed flour and sugar. It's a fascinating book. 




Affaircare said:


> My Dear Hubby was absolutely allergic to white flour--like anaphylactic shock allergic--and once we realized what was causing it, at first my mind just exploded with all the food we could no longer eat!.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> That was my thinking as well- I like to cook and try new places. If it was one or two things ok- I can live with that, but he really didn’t tell me what he does eat? He says the look, smell, texture, etc grossed him out.
> Hmmm I wonder if he is grossed out by doing something to a woman down there. I know off topic but that did come to mind. 😜😜


Some of you may remember that little hungry boy named Mikey in the commercials. He would eat anything.

I am that Mikey. 

On going down there, with my head down, heading down south into the bushy thickets, or face down on the smooth plains at the juncture of the legs of the Platte and the Missy Sippy Rivers. I have an appetite for that too.

Just Sayin'





[The Helmsman]- The Typist I. Sorry, he could not resist.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

In a word, no it wouldn’t bother me. I used to be a fussy eater, but the kind of travelling that I like to do kicked that out of me. Seriously, when you’ve munched on termite mound in the jungle, anything else is yummier! But, like @AandM, I typically stick to a low carb, higher protein and fat diet, which can be trying when going out and about, but it’s doable. Would I want someone to turn me down because of my eating choices? Nope, because they’re my choice to deal with, and it’s my choice to choose foods that aren’t within those guidelines, too.

My ex-husband was allergic to everything under the sun, and I had to cater my cooking towards that so that I didn’t kill him or land him in the hospital. It took a bit to get used to, but that was also doable, and it became second nature after a bit of time.

I guess it comes down to how important food is to you in a relationship. If you’re a foodie, or a chef/food critic, then it might be higher priority. If you’re good to go out to run of the mill restaurants though, it’s probably not going to be a big deal.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

For me yes - deal breaker.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

The first thing I wondered reading the opening post was how old are you? The reason I asked is because as we get older our eating habits change. When young I could stomach anything and enjoyed trying new cuisine. Now at the age of 58 eating is different for me, there's things I have learned to stay away from because my gut just isn't as tolerant. I like to think of myself as a selective eater. 

To answer the original question....I could see how it could be a deal breaker simply by the hassle of trying to appease two different diets, though for me personally it has never caused an issue.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Big difference between someone who has food sensitivities or allergies and someone who has an immature palate that they are not willing to educate. If you don't have similar views on food it makes it quite difficult to eat how you like assuming you plan to share meals cooked at home with your significant other. Or in the case of my family, we have several people with similar food allergies, so we can easily work around it. I have food sensitivities and allergies, which make it difficult for me to eat out, although I've found a few places in our area that work. At home we can cook all sorts of things to our heart's content that are varied and flavorful. Cooking for others is part of my love language, so if a significant other of mine didn't like my cooking it would be a real problem.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

If someone else is cooking for me, I'm willing to try just about anything.


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## Patata (May 10, 2017)

Yes. I'm not picky at all and like to travel and discover new countries and cultures, and that means new food too. Picky eaters would be a pain in the ass.

Allergies, well, that's not their fault.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> I'm curious, what was he like aside from the food aversion? I've read that pickyness over food, especially texture, is one symptom of autism.


It's worse than being picky for them.

Certain textures, colours, etc., actually make people on the ASD spectrum feel very, very uncomfortable and distressed.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

minimalME said:


> If someone else is cooking for me, I'm willing to try just about anything.


I'll eat anything except fried liver or goat cheese. And even goat cheese I'm willing to TRY every time I encounter it, to see if my taste has changed. So far I'm 0 for about 100 on that though.

OH, I also don't like overly processed foods for regular fare.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

My mom used to make liver all the time, but I haven't eaten it since I lived at home. Goat cheese is good though! 



WorkingWife said:


> I'll eat anything except fried liver or goat cheese. And even goat cheese I'm willing to TRY every time I encounter it, to see if my taste has changed. So far I'm 0 for about 100 on that though.
> 
> OH, I also don't like overly processed foods for regular fare.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> It's worse than being picky for them.
> 
> Certain textures, colours, etc., actually make people on the ASD spectrum feel very, very uncomfortable and distressed.


That would REALLY suck. :-(


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> That would REALLY suck. :-(


Try preparing food for one! :rofl:

It's quite interesting the challenges that you face, for example, my wife cannot stand gravy and she has to have each part of the meal on a different part of the plate, or it upsets her.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Picky eater? No chance.

My daughter is picky and it annoys the hell out of me. I have to cook a separate dish just for her because she simply won't eat a lot of things. As a parent I'm stuck between enabling it, and letting her go to bed without dinner 4 nights per week. Sometimes I'll even cook a dish catered to her tastes and she has one bite and I get that look from her. I can't tell you how frustrating it is and sometimes downright stupid. She likes baked potatoes with just a little salt. She eats cheese like a mouse. Puts in on lots of stuff. She loves bacon. I make loaded mashed potatoes and she can't stomach them. It doesn't make any sense! but I have learned she likes bland, tasteless food with very little spice. Basically I have a British daughter and I don't know how this happened.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> I'll eat anything except fried liver or goat cheese. And even goat cheese I'm willing to TRY every time I encounter it, to see if my taste has changed. So far I'm 0 for about 100 on that though.
> 
> OH, I also don't like overly processed foods for regular fare.


We made liver for the first time at home in about 2 decades, so good (see the dinner thread). Looking for a source of calf kidneys. 

Goat cheese is a staple, is that regional thing?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

That wouldn't bother me.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Imagine being with someone your whole life who only eats pizza, burgers, corn dogs, fries, chicken strips, Mac n cheese, and grilled cheese. The only good news is they would die young so you could get on with your life with someone else. I guess you could always take them to any restaurant that offers a children's selection anyway. 

Yeah the more I think about it, the more I'm out. This is just a deal breaker I didn't even realize I had before this thread. I'm damn sure not going to travel to different cities to eat plain ol garbage. Go to New Orleans and eat nothing but burgers, pizza, and Mac n cheese? You're out of your mind if you think I'm catering to that sort of nonsense.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

What is a food allergy even when it's not deadly? Like if I eat too much ice cream I'm on the toilet all day. Tuna tartar? Toilet. Poké? Toilet. Mexican? Toilet. Beer? Toilet. Need I go on? 

It's worth it in the end. I'm not going to give up a great meal just to avoid a good book on the throne for 30 minutes later. Shoot, thats two birds right there. Good food and a good book later.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Really? When dating there's not settling, and then there's picking apart every single thing.

My Dad was a real meat and potatoes man. Would only eat meat and three veg, pies and pasties, roast beef or lamb and fish and chips. No pasta, no salad, no coffee, no multi grain bread, no chinese/indian/italian. Nada.

Such a waste, because Mum is such an amazing cook. But that's the way Dad was raised, and he was never encouraged to try anything new or different as a child. By the time he met Mum as an adult, that was ingrained in him. Mum finally started experimenting in the kitchen when my brothers and I were teens, because we would constantly complain about having to eat the same thing every single night, lol.

My husband loves spicy food, I hate it. He used to love oysters, I hate them (snot in a shell...gag...no thanks). He now eats raw vegan, has done for over a year now, I don't - nothing about a salad in July in Australia appeals to me, but he eats it all year round. But we work. I too am an adventurous cook, love to cook and am good at it. I just share that with our daughter or my family and friends. Hubby is touched by my efforts to learn different ways to add flavour and variety to vegan things though, I know that.

I don't know what to tell you hon, but is this really the hill you want to die on?

Is he kind? Does he treat people respectfully? Does he treat you with respect? Do you feel good when you're with him? Is he a heavy smoker or alcoholic? A druggie? Those are things that are far more important than food preferences.


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## Chippie (Jun 23, 2016)

I think it will depend on other aspects of their personality. If the finicky eater also lives a finicky life where everything has to be a certain way and they are not willing to embrace any change, then that would wear thin very quickly.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Chippie said:


> I think it will depend on other aspects of their personality. If the finicky eater also lives a finicky life where everything has to be a certain way and they are not willing to embrace any change, then that would wear thin very quickly.


Yes, agreed.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

minimalME said:


> My mom used to make liver all the time, but I haven't eaten it since I lived at home. Goat cheese is good though!


It was a liberating moment for me when I realized that once I was an adult no one would make me eat liver. I like liverwurst though... I think it's the dry texture of fried liver that gets me even more than the taste.

Goat cheese is like rap music to me. My dislike for it is so strong and thorough that it took me a long time to accept the fact that some people actually DO get pleasure from it. They're really not just trying to look cool.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> Try preparing food for one! :rofl:
> 
> It's quite interesting the challenges that you face, for example, my wife cannot stand gravy and she has to have each part of the meal on a different part of the plate, or it upsets her.


I have no use for gravy myself but it's not the texture. It just doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather have a 1/4 stick of butter on my mashed potatoes than gravy!

Re your wife - does that end up frustrating you or have you just learned to work around her quirks? I've seen people who didn't want their different food to touch. It seemed like a strange thing to get weird over to me but I didn't think about it that deeply.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> I have no use for gravy myself but it's not the texture. It just doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather have a 1/4 stick of butter on my mashed potatoes than gravy!
> 
> Re your wife - does that end up frustrating you or have you just learned to work around her quirks? I've seen people who didn't want their different food to touch. It seemed like a strange thing to get weird over to me but I didn't think about it that deeply.


I think of it as an endearing quirk.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

CharlieParker said:


> Goat cheese is a staple, is that regional thing?


No, there are a lot of goat cheese eaters where I come from. I'm extremely adventurous with food and love a lot of strong/pungent tastes and am not squeamish over where something came from, so I wondered why I LOATHED goat cheese so much, and could detect it so immediately.

So one day I googled "Goat cheese is nasty" - and I found my people! Most of the goat cheese haters complained of the tastes of mold and soap. But the goat cheese lovers had no idea what they were talking about. And, many of the haters did not like cilantro either, because it also tastes like soap to them. I used to detest cilantro but I have managed to develop a low level like for it, but it still tastes like soap to me. (Just kind of tasty soap in certain foods. Mmmmmm.... like menudo!!!)

To me goat cheese literally tastes like a rancid dirty sock that someone started to wash and left wet and soapy and it mildewed and then they dragged it through the barnyard. Rancid, moldy, soapy, rank.

I was once out eating with a friend and she ordered these cheese stuffed wontons. I tasted one and thought ...it's moldy. And not in a good way like blue cheese. She powered them down before I had a chance to say "I think they're bad." Later I read the menu closely and saw they were made with goat cheese. I don't know, must be something in the way the taste buds perceive it.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

frusdil said:


> I too am an adventurous cook, love to cook and am good at it. I just share that with our daughter or my family and friends.


So when you cook a new meal that you're really excited about and hubby won't even taste it do you not feel disappointed? To me, there is just something so special and magical about cooking and sharing a meal together -- it's almost right up there with sex. Like a little adventure the two of you are on together. A shared experience.

If you go to a restaurant you can each get what you want. But when you're at home as a family, it's just sad to me when my partner is closed off to sharing a meal with me. Also, when he won't even taste something that is really special to me, like food from my family's traditions growing up. My ex was like that and it actually hurt my feelings that anything I liked he automatically resisted if it was not already familiar to him. Now my current man is just like me when it comes to food and we just love cooking and eating together. It turns an ordinary part of the day into something really special.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

WorkingWife said:


> I have no use for gravy myself but it's not the texture. It just doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather have a 1/4 stick of butter on my mashed potatoes than gravy!
> 
> Re your wife - does that end up frustrating you or have you just learned to work around her quirks? I've seen people who didn't want their different food to touch. It seemed like a strange thing to get weird over to me but I didn't think about it that deeply.


I'm not a gravy fan either, or sauce for that matter. When hubby ate meat, he used to like it on everything lol.

Not wanting different foods to touch is a classic sign of ASD, my daughter is like that. Anywhere we are, except my Mum's, I always serve up her food, it's just not worth the melt down. Mum knows how she likes it and serves it just like me. 



WorkingWife said:


> So when you cook a new meal that you're really excited about and hubby won't even taste it do you not feel disappointed? To me, there is just something so special and magical about cooking and sharing a meal together -- it's almost right up there with sex. Like a little adventure the two of you are on together. A shared experience.


No, because I know that if it were really important to me that he try it, he would  He went vegan for health reasons, he had a heart attack last April, so I do all I can to encourage him to eat healthy. He's rocked it like a boss, not sure I could.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Goat cheese tastes like the rank smell of goats with an unpleasant added bitterness.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

frusdil said:


> WorkingWife said:
> 
> 
> > I have no use for gravy myself but it's not the texture. It just doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather have a 1/4 stick of butter on my mashed potatoes than gravy!
> ...


When I was younger I worked in the UK for a few months and I dated an Australian woman. 
She wouldn’t let the food on her plate touch and she ate it one item at a time. She would eat her veg first,then her potatoes or pasta and then her meat. 
She thrived on it though,she was one of the fittest people I’ve ever met.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

If you are just dating, why wouldn't you let this be a deal breaker?

Even asking the question is enough to show that it is, and you should not compromise on something that will be an annoyance 3x a day 365 days a year.

It isnt even something that you can get away from on a vacation, like if he left his dirty clothes on the floor or something. Every meal, every day, forever. Deal breaker.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> To me, there is just something so special and magical about cooking and sharing a meal together -- it's almost right up there with sex.


We cook together all the time, it's how we get our quality couples times. And as I've said on TAM many times, it is a close second to sex.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Some of you guys are talking about disliking 2-3 items. Nobody is mad at not liking a few food items. I think the OP is talking about someone who literally eats only 10 different food items and nothing else. How long can you eat chicken fingers every night until you start secretly hoping they choke to death on one?


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> I have no use for gravy myself but it's not the texture. It just doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather have a 1/4 stick of butter on my mashed potatoes than gravy!
> 
> Re your wife - does that end up frustrating you or have you just learned to work around her quirks? I've seen people who didn't want their different food to touch. It seemed like a strange thing to get weird over to me but I didn't think about it that deeply.


Mmmmmashed potatoes…. drown those suckers in a glob of butter AND gravy for me, please!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

CharlieParker said:


> Looking for a source of calf kidneys.


Go to a butcher that processes whole beef. Ask them. Most people when they have a beef butchered do not keep the internal organs. When I get a whole beef, I ask for everyone else's liver and the butcher is glad to give it to me.



TheDudeLebowski said:


> What is a food allergy even when it's not deadly? Like if I eat too much ice cream I'm on the toilet all day. Tuna tartar? Toilet. Poké? Toilet. Mexican? Toilet. Beer? Toilet. Need I go on?


If I have cow's milk, including butter, I am sick for a week. Otoh, I can eat some goat or sheep milk products and I'm fine.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Some of you guys are talking about disliking 2-3 items. Nobody is mad at not liking a few food items. I think the OP is talking about someone who literally eats only 10 different food items and nothing else. How long can you eat chicken fingers every night until you start secretly hoping they choke to death on one?


:iagree:

I'm not big on mussels or clams, raw oysters, most organ meats, or strong goat cheese. Sometimes I have trouble with certain textures, like tripe or tendon in my pho. My SO can't eat corn or peas/lentils without being sick for days. So, when we go out, we each just avoid ordering things we dislike or are sensitive to. But neither of us will turn down an entire restaurant experience, much less an entire society's ethnic cuisine, because of our preferences. 

The gentleman I stopped seeing due to his food preferences really only ate a handful of food items. And he was not interested, at all, in broadening his horizons or exploring new cuisines. That unwillingness or inability, which ever it was, to try new things, to explore new cuisines, to make an event of trying a new restaurant, is what made us incompatible. Just not liking tomatoes or mushrooms was not the problem. A lifestyle that did not, and would never, feature an adventurous enjoyment of good food as a central element, was the problem. Again, there was nothing wrong with him, or with me, we just were incompatible.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My thoughts on sharing food have shifted recently. 

My ex hb and I shared meals together all the time. I also love dessert and we shared that too

The guy I'm dating now is s a type 1 diabetic who follows a pretty strict low carb diet. It's been an adjustment because he doesn't eat much dessert and doesn't do bread, potatoes, or most anything starchy.

I love bread and potatoes and as a distance runner i go through a lot of bread. And I like fancy bread. We really can't share any of these things

But we do share other interests, and I support his commitment to his health. I find his discipline quite impressive.... and he doesn't care what I eat in front of him, which is helpful. 

I think the fact that we share a commitment to a healthy lifestyle is the bigger issue, even if it means different things to both of us. Couples do this all the time.... one follows paleo and one is vegetarian.

It has been an adjustment for sure, but it's ok. I've even made some nice low starch meals for him.... I'm a pretty good cook and an am adaptable.

So picky eating wouldn't be an issue for me if he was committed to a healthy life like me.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

WorkingWife said:


> So one day I googled "Goat cheese is nasty"


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## RubyRing (Jun 13, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> Would it bother you if the guy you start seeing tells you that he doesn’t eat a lot of the foods that are out there? We aren’t talking rare cousine either. He doesn’t do BBQ, no Mexican, Italian or any staple of normal. Would this thwart your idea of dating him?


I eat a wide variety of foods, but could live without most red meats, BBQ and Mexican. I will eat those things if served, but I don't go out of my way.

I LOVE to cook and try or create new recipes. I could easily be with someone who was vegetarian or vegan, because while I am neither, I do love cooking vegan and vegetarian meals, and I'm pretty much love every vegetable that exists. However, I don't think I could be with a strictly meat and potatoes man.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I have been told I am picky. Especially when someone does not understand food allergies. My wife's grandmother did not get that I am allergic to most fish. Pretty much anything with fins and scales does me in. I can handle salmon, most times. So, GMIL thinks she is smooth as silk and buries some fish in one of her creations. While sitting at the table, my throat begins to close. I turned purple, and had to pull out my epi-pen. Jabbed it into my thigh, then asked if there was fish in anything? She says that she was trying to prove to me that "I would like fish if I gave it an even chance". As my wife (fiance at the time) was helping me to the car, so that I could go to the ER, I kind of spat back at her grandmother that I did not appreciate an attempt on my life, and btw, if I break up this engagement, then it is all on her. I watched my MIL and GMIL stand there, white faced as I was driven to the hospital. When I felt better, I gave them a piece of my mind. Just to punctuate, I walked over to my then fiance, and pulled the ring off her finger, and began to walk out. (she knew beforehand). She turned to her grandma and said, "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!" Grammie started crying, "I didn't know," My wife said, he told you over and over and over. What would you have done if you killed him???? Grandma looked like she was going to **** herself. My wife said, "You would have gone to jail" Grandma was apoplectic. I drove off, and the entire family came down on Grandma. She justified it saying she thought I was lying. We drove it home. My father in law, said to his MIL, "If this wedding does not come off, because of you, I will want all the money I have spent to come from you." She took to her bedroom, and kicked everyone out. We let her stew for three days. I wanted a full apology in front of witnesses. (She NEVER apologized) On the fourth day, I arranged for a lot of family to be at her house. I asked for and received a full apology. She said that was the most humiliating thing she ever had to do. I said that if she had managed to kill me, prison would have been more humiliating.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> Goat cheese tastes like the rank smell of goats with an unpleasant added bitterness.


Amen!

But make that a moldy soapy bitterness.

Ironically, I like goat meat just fine.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

WorkingWife said:


> Amen!
> 
> But make that a moldy soapy bitterness.
> 
> Ironically, I like goat meat just fine.



I'm the same way... I like goat meat, but anything that I've had with goat cheese ..not so much.

I am on a very limited diet to keep my weight down, but I like just about all foods. 

I actually passed on a 2nd date with someone that won't eat wheat products. I couldn't imagine myself never going to an Italian restaurant again. There were probably other things about her personality that flagged me, though.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

You guys! 

I think if some of our chefs here made a platter for you with goat cheese, you'd change your minds. >


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

minimalME said:


> You guys!
> 
> I think if some of our chefs here made a platter for you with goat cheese, you'd change your minds. >


No. I would not.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Let’s stop with all this divisive goat cheese talk, let’s discuss something we can all agree on, the total awesomeness of Brussels sprouts. 

More on topic, we both have foods the other doesn’t like and can occasionally work around that, but we are both “live to eat” people.

ETA: I miss the goat rogan josh from the donut shoppe across the street when we lived on W 25th.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I'm Scottish, raised on haggis and black pudding. I love goat cheese, and also liver-and-bacon, with gravy and mash. I tried snails once, didn't like them.

Edited to add, and I love brussels sprouts.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This reminds me of something....

The first time I cooked a meal for my ex, while we were dating, one of the courses was eggplant parmesan. It's one of my favorite dishes. He ate is and praised the meal to include the eggplant parmesan.

Then months after we were dating he told me that eggplant nauseates him and even disguised with breading, lots of garlic, cheese and spaghetti sauce he cannot eat it. :surprise:


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> ...one of the courses was eggplant parmesan. It's one of my favorite dishes.


I loovvve eggplant parmesan!!!!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

charlieparker said:


> let’s stop with all this divisive goat cheese talk, let’s discuss something we can all agree on, the total awesomeness of brussels sprouts.


Sprouts rule! Sprouts rule! Sprouts rule!


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I haven't had sprouts in forever. And I'd need some sharp cheddar on them, I think. And maybe bacon. :surprise:



Prodigal said:


> Sprouts rule! Sprouts rule! Sprouts rule!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

attheend02 said:


> WorkingWife said:
> 
> 
> > Amen!
> ...


I personally love wheat/gluten...
But just saying: there are plenty of gluten free choices at Italian restaurants. Lots of meats, cheeses, seafood, risotto, etc.

Just because someone has things that won't eat, you don't have to be limited about going out to eat or even cooking together. Mix and match.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

minimalME said:


> I haven't had sprouts in forever. And I'd need some sharp cheddar on them, I think. And maybe bacon. :surprise:


EVERYTHING is better with bacon. However, since I have to avoid bacon, I've found that oven roasted sprouts are THE BOMB. Toss sprouts in olive oil, garlic powder, onion powder, kosher salt, and lemon juice. Roast in a 425 degree for 20 minutes. Dump hot sprouts into a bowl and toss with parmesan cheese. 

Sprouts forever!!!!:grin2:


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Ok I’ve been in contact with him daily and learning more about him. I like everything about him so far. He’s sweet, caring and seems to be a genuine nice guy. We plan to get together and I’m going to ask if we could try this new Italian restaurant. I know for a fact he eats fries, and loves desserts. Maybe this is something we can work through with a little patience and learning about one another. We do both like to enjoy a beer and listen to bands so we do have common interests.
I’ll keep y’all posted.


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## RubyRing (Jun 13, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> No, there are a lot of goat cheese eaters where I come from. I'm extremely adventurous with food and love a lot of strong/pungent tastes and am not squeamish over where something came from, so I wondered why I LOATHED goat cheese so much, and could detect it so immediately.
> 
> So one day I googled "Goat cheese is nasty" - and I found my people! Most of the goat cheese haters complained of the tastes of mold and soap. But the goat cheese lovers had no idea what they were talking about. And, many of the haters did not like cilantro either, because it also tastes like soap to them. I used to detest cilantro but I have managed to develop a low level like for it, but it still tastes like soap to me. (Just kind of tasty soap in certain foods. Mmmmmm.... like menudo!!!)
> 
> ...


Working Wife, You must be my sister from another Mr ! I DESPISE goat cheese. It has a weird after taste, like the goat farted in my mouth. Like you, I had a hard time thinking any one really liked goat cheese, I was convinced people only pretended to like it because it's trendy or something. Funny, I really do love cilantro. Apparently,the whole cilantro takes like soap thing is in your DNA. Basically, I enjoy most foods, I can count the foods I dislike on one hand, and I use my middle finger to count goat cheese !


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

RubyRing said:


> Working Wife, You must be my sister from another Mr ! I DESPISE goat cheese. It has a weird after taste, like the goat farted in my mouth. Like you, I had a hard time thinking any one really liked goat cheese, I was convinced people only pretended to like it because it's trendy or something. Funny, I really do love cilantro. Apparently,the whole cilantro takes like soap thing is in your DNA. Basically, I enjoy most foods, I can count the foods I dislike on one hand, and I use my middle finger to count goat cheese !


"I can count the foods I dislike on one hand, and I use my middle finger to count goat cheese!"

hahahahahhaha, oh man, I really DID laugh out loud at that. Like really loud...

HEY - we very well may be related --

1. I was adopted.
2. I also use the phrase "Sister from another Mr." and thought I made that up myself.
3. Very few foods I dislike.
4. I believed people were pretending to like goat cheese for the very same reason you did.
5. GOAT CHEESE IS NASTY!

I remember I hadn't eaten all day once while running errands, so around 6:00 PM I ducked into a "semi-fancy" pizza place and ordered a pizza. The waitress said "Oh, that's my favorite pizza!" I was sooooo hungry and sooooo excited. The pizza came and I took one bite -- the chees on it was SPOILED, I knew instantly -- GOAT CHEESE!!! I looked at the menu and it said "Chevre" cheese. 

I now know CHEVRE = GOAT in English. I felt like a very hungry idiot. I paid my bill and left.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Livvie said:


> I personally love wheat/gluten...
> But just saying: there are plenty of gluten free choices at Italian restaurants. Lots of meats, cheeses, seafood, risotto, etc.
> 
> Just because someone has things that won't eat, you don't have to be limited about going out to eat or even cooking together. Mix and match.





Prodigal said:


> EVERYTHING is better with bacon. However, since I have to avoid bacon, I've found that oven roasted sprouts are THE BOMB. Toss sprouts in olive oil, garlic powder, onion powder, kosher salt, and lemon juice. Roast in a 425 degree for 20 minutes. Dump hot sprouts into a bowl and toss with parmesan cheese.
> 
> Sprouts forever!!!!:grin2:


Mmmmm... I'm keeping that recipe. It does sound really tasty!!! I may use bacon fat instead of olive oil though... Of course olive oil is also delicious.

I LOVE to cut up carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower then roast it in the oven tossed in olive oil, coarse-ish grained salt, fresh parsley or dry if you don't have that, and some garlic slices. Add red bell pepper for a whole different flavor. Makes an awesome snack that lasts a few days.

Brussel sprouts are great roasted too but I do usually do them with bacon.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Livvie said:


> I personally love wheat/gluten...
> But just saying: there are plenty of gluten free choices at Italian restaurants. Lots of meats, cheeses, seafood, risotto, etc.
> 
> Just because someone has things that won't eat, you don't have to be limited about going out to eat or even cooking together. Mix and match.


I think for me, and it seems many on here, the issue is more a matter of WHY they have these dietary restrictions. If there are legitimate health reasons it seems like a non issue to me. These are the reasons that would be deal breakers for me:

1. They are "picky" and verbal about it. 
2. They are afraid to try new tastes.
3. They are "afraid of many foods" because of something unsubstantiated they read on the internet and they keep adding to the list of what they are afraid to eat. 
4. They won't go to many restaurants because of the type of food they serve. (Although I'm pretty snobbish about not wanting to go to fast food places very often. So maybe I'm a hypocrite.)
5. They don't want you eating and enjoying food at home that they can't or won't have.

My ex had a lot of health issues and was off of dairy and gluten for a couple years. At first it was like: What CAN you eat?! But it quickly became no problem at home because I realized there's a ton you can eat if you make it yourself. One favorite was tacos and he'd have his with extra avocado and I'd put cheese on mine. 

It was actually a blessing in disguise because he was very limited in what he would try (raised by mostly just meat and potato people), but once he felt he couldn't eat his usual fare, he was hungry and vulnerable and let me experiment with new recipes and ideas and discovered he loved lots of different foods.

Eating out was more challenging, especially fast food, but still doable.


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## RubyRing (Jun 13, 2016)

WorkingWife said:


> "I can count the foods I dislike on one hand, and I use my middle finger to count goat cheese!"
> 
> hahahahahhaha, oh man, I really DID laugh out loud at that. Like really loud...
> 
> ...


Working Wife LOL - I too thought that I had cleverly coined the phrase "Sister from another Mr." as a counterpart to "Brother from another Mother", but seeing and hearing the phrase many different times, proved, that I wasn't nearly as clever or original as I thought.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

RubyRing said:


> Working Wife, You must be my sister from another Mr ! I DESPISE goat cheese. It has a weird after taste, like the goat farted in my mouth. Like you, I had a hard time thinking any one really liked goat cheese, I was convinced people only pretended to like it because it's trendy or something. Funny, I really do love cilantro. Apparently,the whole cilantro takes like soap thing is in your DNA. Basically, I enjoy most foods, I can count the foods I dislike on one hand, and I use my middle finger to count goat cheese !



I love cilantro. But, to me, most goat cheese tastes like goats _smell_. I grew up around goats. Intact males will pee/spray on their faces to attract the ladies. It's...less attractive...to the human nose than the lady goats apparently find it. That smell is what goat cheese generally tastes like to me. I can understand an appreciate that many people do enjoy it. I'm just not one of them. I have the same viscerally negative reaction to mutton for the same reason. I cannot handle eating it. Just can't.

Interestingly, I love grapefruit to eat, but anything with grapefruit flavoring usually tastes like cat pee smells to me. Adding grapefruit during the brewing process was all the rage for a while in craft beer circles. And every single one I've ever tried tastes like cat pee smells... My SO generally likes them, but I just can't do it. Something about grapefruit in beer just goes very, very, off for me. Give me a good porter, chocolate stout or coffee stout any day. Just nothing "summery" or "citrus-y with grapefruit notes".


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I love cilantro. *But, to me, most goat cheese tastes like goats smell.* I grew up around goats. Intact males will pee/spray on their faces to attract the ladies. It's...less attractive...to the human nose than the lady goats apparently find it. That smell is what goat cheese generally tastes like to me. I can understand an appreciate that many people do enjoy it. I'm just not one of them. I have the same viscerally negative reaction to mutton for the same reason. I cannot handle eating it. Just can't.


YES!! :laugh: I tried a bite of goat cheese cheesecake once... OMG it was like licking the side of a goat! I swear I could feel the hair, LOL! VILE!!


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Rowan said:


> I love cilantro. But, to me, most goat cheese tastes like goats _smell_. I grew up around goats. Intact males will pee/spray on their faces to attract the ladies. It's...less attractive...to the human nose than the lady goats apparently find it. That smell is what goat cheese generally tastes like to me. I can understand an appreciate that many people do enjoy it. I'm just not one of them. I have the same viscerally negative reaction to mutton for the same reason. I cannot handle eating it. Just can't.
> 
> Interestingly, I love grapefruit to eat, but anything with grapefruit flavoring usually tastes like cat pee smells to me. Adding grapefruit during the brewing process was all the rage for a while in craft beer circles. And every single one I've ever tried tastes like cat pee smells... My SO generally likes them, but I just can't do it. Something about grapefruit in beer just goes very, very, off for me. Give me a good porter, chocolate stout or coffee stout any day. Just nothing "summery" or "citrus-y with grapefruit notes".


I have the same taste for lamb (mutton, right?). I have had lamb that I have enjoyed at times,though, where as goat cheese I haven't been able to get over.

Not a fan of fruit in beer, also. A good hoppy IPA is fruity enough.


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## Kay43 (Jan 4, 2019)

Wouldn’t bother me. I would say just skip the eating part and do something else. Not sure why he doesn’t, but maybe he has an intolerance to certain things he isn’t comfortable discussing just yet.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

The 'why' would be important to me. I have certain things I don't eat, but what you described would cause me to back off... mostly as I love to travel and experience different places and cultures. Food is embedded within those experiences. So yes, it would bother me.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I guess I am more the picky eater in our relationship. I am not fond of veggies and fruits. However, I will fix just about anything, I live with a human garbage disposer so nothing goes to waste. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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