# Should kids have a say in the parenting plan???



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

I have now been divorced for over six months....but I have a friend who is just now filing for divorce. He served his stbx with papers today. It included what would be a typical parenting plan of every other weekend....every other holiday.....and so forth. Within an hour of being served she sent him a text asking for him, her and their three kids (13, 10, and 6) to sit down and come to agreement about the parenting plan together. This seems very odd to me. For one it seems obvious that his stbx and the kids must not like the parenting plan he proposed which is very fair. And it seems to me that the children should not be that involved. He thinks that he should listen to the childrens opinions, that's fine....but to all sit down together and work out all the details? I don't know.....seems off to me.....your opinions please?:scratchhead:


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I think the kids should get a say. But, this does get tricky. The 13 year old would definitely have input here in my state. The other two, not so much. However, I would assume they all would have the same schedule. It's going to be a balancing act. My children were 14 and 17 when our split up occurred. Due to their age a parenting plan was not done. They have had complete autonomy as to where and when they go.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Just out of curiousity....what have there visits been like? And I suppose the relationship between both parents would make a huge difference if the father ever gets to see his kids. So far the mother of these children has pretty much used the children as pons in her game it seems. Even doing childish things like having the kids block their dad from their facebook accounts. I think that was an attempt to hide a new boyfriend that he new about anyways


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I honestly don't know what the visits are like. I never get into that with them. Well, I did when the estranged husband took all of them to NYC on vacation over the summer. That was clearly over the top. In addition, he and the kids hid the entire event from me. I have no part in arranging visits--never have. The kids work all arrangements out. But, then my children are older than the children you are referring to.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Any other ideas on this anyone?


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