# is NOT FAIR even worth saying



## Skuba (Aug 29, 2010)

Wife just seperated from me after 2.5 years of marrage, 5 years together. When we first started dating I knew she was the one I had been wating for. I spent the first couple years helping her pay off her sizable debts that had been racked up with a mentally abusive relationship before me. I worked very hard so she could get through college without having to work to make it easier. Then I helped her get a job right after graduating and quitting my job on the spot, which was the best job I have ever had, at least the best paying and best chance for carreer growth. And I moved with her 600 miles away so she could get her foot in the door, so to speak. After 9 months she wanted to go back to our origional home and get married, which we did, so I moved everything back myself and got into my parents house. After the wedding, we worked hard on getting her another job which we did, but she got let go a year later, education lay offs. In the mean time, I began getting into to much pain due to a sever back injury and surgery which I had done before we even started dating. She knew from the start that it was a strong possibility that I may not be able to work for too much longer which is why I tried so hard to help her get the carreer she wanted. Last year I talked my familly into loaning us the money to get my wife through a masters program and we did, which was aroud 25 grand. she is due to graduate in Dec. She also got an amazing job, with huge potential and a very decent salery. Which gave us the opportunity to finally buy a house. Something we dreamed about for years so we could really get our lives started, and finally feel like we were not struggling anymore. We have never gotten into a fight or even an arguement this entire marrage. We always talked and comprimised without any conflict. For me, even in constant pain and not being able to do most things I wanted, I felt that life couldnt get any better. Well, it certainly could now. 3 Days before closeing on our house after I used half of my social security back pay settlement to get us furniture, appliances, patio built on the house, etc. She says she is not happy and hasnt been for a while but didnt want to say anything because she thought her feelings would change. So she left. No other reasons, just that my back has caused me not to go out very often and that is what she wants. I feel if it was that important to her, I will just suck it up and do it anyway. She tells me she thinks its too late to fix anything and doesnt know if she feels its even worth trying. I dont get it. But now, Im disabled with a joke of a check each month that cant pay for anything but maybe food. And she is on her way with her Masters degree that my family provided, and a great job with even greater potential that she would never have gotten without me. I guess at least we dont have kids. Nothing is final yet, but things certainly dont sound good. Anybody have anything to say that might help. Any perspective on a situation like this. I feel like Ive got nowhere to go, and nothing to look forward to. Even if the pain goes away, what then? Ive still got nothing


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Well get yourself a good lawyer, if you can prove what you say, you will get alimoney from her and I think you should. She totally owes you for what you and your family invested in her to get her education and job. 

She probably think the grass is greener with a professional from her work and you are beneath her now. It really sucks but my woman did something very simular to me.


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## LADYGAINES (Aug 30, 2010)

I could have cried reading this. You are a great guy and deserve better than how she treated you recently. It's very hard to move on when the reason the person gives you seems like bs and just doesn't line up. I think you deserve better than that and have every right to demand an honest answer. You don't desert someone because you want to go the movies and out to eat more often. If that is her honest reason then she is an insensitive thoughtless jerk and you can do better than her back problems and all! Even with all that said I feel she is coming back. She won't find many men out there as caring, loving and generous as you. Make sure you handle her return wisely. It could determine if she pulls this leaving act again. Hang in there. Don't question yourself. You are not the one with the real problem.


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## Skuba (Aug 29, 2010)

I dont regret anything I went through to help her. I truely believe she deserved everything she got. She worked very hard as well as i did to get her where she is today. Im just wishing that I tried harder to deal with my back pain and suck it up because I new that if it was hard for me, then it had to be hard for her too. Even though she new about the problem before we even started our relationship, I think she didnt expect me to get so bad so soon. Over the last couple years, Ive gone through countless pain management treatments, epidural injections, medications, spinal implants, physical therapy, nerve burns, and things I dont even really know what they were and nothing helped. So its not like I havent tried to make things better, but I started to give up on myself and she couldnt handle it. Of course she never said anything until now. I keep thinking I should have known something was wrong. Now I feel like I havent tried hard enough. But I have always been there for her no matter what. And Ill continue to be there and do whatever it takes. I just need to believe in myself again. And hope thats enough to get her back.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

There is someone else in her life. She would not just leave like that. Reading your story I could have almost put my name in it. I did sacrifice my career, moved away from family and friends, had a child and when our son was not even a year old husband started affair with a coworker. I caught him, confronted him and he filed for divorce which will be final in less than 3 weeks. Make sure there is not an affair in question especially someone from her work circle.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

notreadytoquit said:


> There is someone else in her life. She would not just leave like that. Reading your story I could have almost put my name in it. I did sacrifice my career, moved away from family and friends, had a child and when our son was not even a year old husband started affair with a coworker. I caught him, confronted him and he filed for divorce which will be final in less than 3 weeks. Make sure there is not an affair in question especially someone from her work circle.


:iagree: This is truly awful, if we are hearing the whole truth, if we are, then all Im saying is that you invested in her career as did your family so you and your family should reap the rewards of her new career as well, would she have that career without your family loaning the money? and what about when you supported her while she went to school? It is only fair that you share in the rewards as a partner, a good lawyer will make that so.


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