# Is she flirting?



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Yesterday I went over to a friends house to pick something up. This a is a mutual friend of mine and my wifes and we have hung out as couples before. She is closer to my wife than me as I have only probably had a few one on one convos withi her. When I was there she randomly told me she had texted her husband earlier and said they should 69 but was upset with his response. Then later in the convo she mentioned to me that she lazers her vagina. Then she told me how one day she came down stairs in lingerie and ****y make up but her husband said his stomach hurt and she was upset about that. She then told me I guess it's just boring missionary for her. I found all the comments odd since we never really had convos before and never like this. I was just there to pick something up and her small kids were in the other room. She is very attractive. She is a bit younger than me and my wife since she is 28 and we are 38 so it could be just a age thing but I figured I get some feedback from this forum on what this may mean.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No, this isn't an "age" thing -- it's an "inappropriate" thing.

I would have called her on it right there. "I am not comfortable with this conversation. Bye." And left.

She has sh*t boundaries, as she seems to be hitting on you in a sexual way and I don't believe you don't see it for what it is.

With that said, this chick isn't a friend to your marriage. Know that.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

That's just weird!

Ya that was a big hint to see if you guys were going to play. Its called fishing.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Why do you want to know if she is flirting? Don't even go there. Does it really matter if she was or not? You felt she was. 

If I were you and I loved my spouse and was careful to protect my marriage this is what I would do. Tell your wife what her friend said. Let your wife know that it made you feel uncomfortable. 

Furthermore, let her know that you don't want to have this woman around anymore. I am certain you feel that she is not a good friend to your wife. If there is even a hint of you being attracted to her or she being attracted to you, make a surgical cut to protect your marriage.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Holy crap. Small talk about vagina lasing. That is really really (really) hard to believe!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> *Why do you want to know if she is flirting? Don't even go there. Does it really matter if she was or not?* You felt she was.
> 
> Tell your wife what her friend said. Let your wife know that it made you feel uncomfortable.
> 
> Furthermore, let her know that you don't want to have this woman around anymore. I am certain you feel that she is not a good friend to your wife.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Yikes, either she was flirting or this chick has no filter between her brain and mouth. 

I wouldn't hesitate to tell your wife about this, who cares if it ends the friendship. If she's that foreword her hubby could be just the same and maybe has already hit on your wife. Do you really want your wife hanging out with a woman who talks like that? Sounds like lots of trouble to me.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason. Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Philat said:


> Holy crap. Small talk about vagina lasing. That is really really (really) hard to believe!


I think this occurred because we were talking about tattoos and she mentioned the pain of getting her legs done and her some parts hurt more than her vagina and she pointed there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason. Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


no

tell her now


----------



## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason.* Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?*_Posted via Mobile Device_


Tell your wife in my opinion. You say she's closer to your wife,so your wife probably knows how she is in general.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you think your gut is telling you that it will stir up trouble...then your already in trouble....tell your wife...why keep secrets...

You won't stir up trouble if there is no trouble to be had!!!!!


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

It's good to get advice from forums like this. The whole thing confuses me because she could be just a very open person. She is also part of a circle of friends we really just started hanging out with and we have needed friends in town with kids for a while. If I say something and I am wrong then it will be an issue. My wife may also think I am making it up since we have been recovering from a ONS she had 2 years ago that has still been haunting me. There is a party next week with all the friends maybe I can observe how she is with others. Her husband won't be there so it will be easy to tell. I like her husband and I feel bad if it is what I think.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

If it had of been the husband talking to your wife like this would you expect her to tell you? Then,even if you did find out that this was the way he generally talked,would you be comfortable enough with it for the sake of a new friendship?


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I believe you should tell her you've never seen a lasered vagina and you'd really like to. If she's ok with that and then she shows it to you and then she says "do you want to feel how smooth it is" well then you know the answer to whether or not she's flirting.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

lenzi said:


> I believe you should tell her you've never seen a lasered vagina and you'd really like to. If she's ok with that and then she shows it to you and then she says "do you want to feel how smooth it is" well then you know the answer to whether or not she's flirting.


:lol: Very subtly, too...


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> No, this isn't an "age" thing -- it's an "inappropriate" thing.
> 
> I would have called her on it right there. "I am not comfortable with this conversation. Bye." And left.
> 
> ...


Exactly. If that's her version of flirting, and maybe it was, how weird can she be about it lol. I would stay away from that one


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason. Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You mean "should I just see it" 

You wish.


----------



## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

Confused, you are either being played by this other woman OR you are being played by your wife and the other woman. Wife may be attempting to shyte test you in an epic way to avert attention from her ONS. 

How is your recovery going with your WS? Is she remorseful, working to regain trust, in IC/MC?

To answer your question be straight up with your wife. Tell her what happened and about your lack of comfort with the whole thing. 

~ Passio


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Just curious your wife doesn't hang out with her husband alone I hope.
Just wondering.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason. Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Imagine a few weeks down the road and this happens again and you decide to tell you wife. 

In the process you wife says something like Well maybe she was just in a stupid mood or some lame reason and you then tell her that it isn't the first time she talked to you like that.

WHOLE NEW BALLGAME! Now your wife is going to be crawling up your ass because you didn't say something when it first happened. Her teeth. Your ass. Get it?


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

tom67 said:


> Just curious your wife doesn't hang out with her husband alone I hope.
> Just wondering.


No I know that has not happened. It's rare we see him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> No I know that has not happened. It's rare we see him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good to hear.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Idyit said:


> Confused, you are either being played by this other woman OR you are being played by your wife and the other woman. Wife may be attempting to shyte test you in an epic way to avert attention from her ONS.
> 
> How is your recovery going with your WS? Is she remorseful, working to regain trust, in IC/MC?
> 
> ...


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

lenzi said:


> I believe you should tell her you've never seen a lasered vagina and you'd really like to. If she's ok with that and then she shows it to you and then she says "do you want to feel how smooth it is" well then you know the answer to whether or not she's flirting.


There is no way I would do that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

Confusedhub3 said:


> No I know that has not happened. It's rare we see him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How did your body respond to her conversation? If you got turned on by the way she talked, she is a dangerous substance (younger, attractive, flirty, and toxic). You should stay away from her because it is hard to give it up once you become addicted. If you felt nothing during the conversation, tell your wife and let your wife decides the next step


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

kitty2013 said:


> How did your body respond to her conversation? If you got turned on by the way she talked, she is a dangerous substance (younger, attractive, flirty, and toxic). You should stay away from her because it is hard to give it up once you become addicted. If you felt nothing during the conversation, tell your wife and let your wife decides the next step


I won't lie. It turned me on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Lasered VJs are _very_ smooth.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> There is no way I would do that
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think he was being sarcastic.
Read betrayeddad's thread his xw has childhood issues also.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I won't lie. It turned me on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hoo boy. This ought to ratchet things up.


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Just casually mention to your wife if she ever thought about having a laserjob done there, like her friend has?

It will get you of the hook from having it not mentioned later on, maybe alert her to what her friend is up to. And be a safeguard for yourself.

I do not call this flirting btw, it is just a plain invitation to do something about her sexually lousy husbands job...be her part-time knight in shining armour.


----------



## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Tell your wife. 
This is not right.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Thank you all great advice. I will tell my wife. I was going to last night but did not have the right moment. I really don't think its a set up but you never know. I have and will always take the high road.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

The way the say the conversation happened doesnt sound at all like flirting to me. You guys were talking about getting painful tats and she mentioned it hurt more than when she got her VJ lazered. End of story?

If the story ended there I would think this is nothing.

So explain how the stuff about boring old husband came about? It sounds suspicious but could have evolved from a convo where you guys were speaking about boring partners for all we know.

Not trying to accuse you of anything but the first part about the lazer was nothing so I think you should make sure.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

The 69 thing came out of the blue. We were talking about one thing and all of a sudden she said TMI but I am so pissed. I texted him that we should 69 and he just blew me off. Then she said to it it's been a while since they did that she was offering to sit on his face. The lingerie thing again was off topic I think she was still venting, the missionary comment happened when she was just saying she won't put in the effort anymore. She very well just could have been venting to me since I was the one who was there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I'm a little late to this, but yes definitely tell your wife.

The next time, this woman could be even more forward, and it's entirely possible that, even if you turn her down, she may talk to your wife and tell a completely different story. Best to nip this in the bud before you get burned.

Besides protecting yourself, if you care at all about your wife, she should know what kind of a person her "friend" is. I certainly wouldn't want the woman I love being friends with someone who talks to me like that.

If any of my wife's female friends, married or not, ever spoke to me like that, she'd be the first person I'd tell.

As for being a set up - entirely possible. This happened to me with my ex wife, when we were in the early days of us dating. Her Aunt and Uncle were visiting, and her aunt decided to "test me". I got a phone call one day from a girl that I apparently worked with, telling me that she'd seen me around work, thought I was cute, knew I was dating my gf, but still wanted to go for a coffee or something. I politely turned her down, etc etc. and we hung up. 10 seconds later, my gf calls me and tells me that was her aunt, and it was her idea to test me like that. I guess I passed. (some days, I wish I didn't... lol)

So this kind of thing happens, sadly.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Confusedhub3 said:


> The 69 thing came out of the blue. We were talking about one thing and all of a sudden she said TMI but I am so pissed. I texted him that we should 69 and he just blew me off. Then she said to it it's been a while since they did that she was offering to sit on his face. The lingerie thing again was off topic I think she was still venting, the missionary comment happened when she was just saying she won't put in the effort anymore. She very well just could have been venting to me since I was the one who was there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Venting? But you thought she was flirting. She wasn't "venting." She was trying to game you. You should have put your foot down.

If your wife went over to a married man's house and he was telling her all of these sexual things, how would you feel?

You already know.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Confusedhub3 said:


> The 69 thing came out of the blue. We were talking about one thing and all of a sudden she said TMI but I am so pissed. I texted him that we should 69 and he just blew me off. Then she said to it it's been a while since they did that she was offering to sit on his face. The lingerie thing again was off topic I think she was still venting, the missionary comment happened when she was just saying she won't put in the effort anymore. She very well just could have been venting to me since I was the one who was there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nah, you don't vent like that to another man, especially a married one. That's definitely fishing.

Whether she was looking to you to act on that stuff, or she was simply hoping you'd agree and partake in bashing her husband - it doesn't matter. It crosses lines.

She may have just been looking for another man to help boost her self esteem. If what she says is true (about her husband), she's probably not feeling very wanted. Maybe all she was looking for was another man to say her husband is crazy to not want her, and that's it. We can't assume she'd jump into bed with you right there, or even in the future. (though she may have). But telling you she lasers her vj, that her husband blew her off for 69ing and everything else - she may just want reassurance that it's him, not her.

This is still a problem, obviously, as if you agreed with her, she may go running to her husband and use you as an example.


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I am not sure if this is just how she is in general since we have not had a lot of convos. I don't want to stir up trouble for no reason. Should I just see if it happens again before telling my wife?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You mean like if she'll blow you in the bathroom and not say anything? :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:

Seriously. What are you trying to figure out here. A woman is actively complaining about her husband to you about very specific sexual issues. This is one thing and one thing ONLY.

You know this. Stop fishing to figure out how much "sun" you can soak in before you get burned. Tell your wife EVERYTHING and prepare for her to be annoyed you didn't tell her right away.

I'd tell my wife the moment I got home. (but there's also a bonus there. My wife gets "territorial" when women hit on me )

I remember a rest stop and a woman flashed me twice with my wife sitting there. I said something to my wife, she looked over and was stunned. Then rode me like a broken horse that night.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> I stumbled across this thread. I don't know your back story, but I do think if you are in reconciliation, there is a slim chance that your wife set this up in some manner with the friend to test you. It's also possible your wife wants some ammo to get you to see her side of the story and ease up on her.
> 
> Think about what you say to your wife. Have you been tough on her in the R? How has she reacted? What is she saying about what she did? In other words, has she been very truthful? Has she been complaining she needs let off the hook, at all? Something is up here.
> 
> ...


 Sorry. I missed the part about your wife having a ONS and I agree that this might be a set up.

I'm 66 and in all my years I have yet to meet a woman who would just blurt out to me about her asking her husband for a 69 and then dropping the laser job she got. You just don't talk like that to some random guy that you don't really know that well or any other guy for that matters.

Yeah, maybe their in cahoots on this and to me that is pretty low, kind of like entrapment to see if you fall for it.

Since you and your wife are in a R, this type of situation should be avoided and I would tell your wife what she said now and let the wife know that these people are not who you want to associate with and make it clear.


----------



## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

You asked: Is she flirting?

Well I have a question? Are you serious? Are you really needing to know what she was up to? You seem to be a guy that can think much better than that.

Turn the story around....how would YOU feel if your wife dropped in to a guy friends house and the guy talked about these things with your wife? Would that be ok with you?

Do you really have to ask about this?


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Dad&Hubby said:


> You mean like if she'll blow you in the bathroom and not say anything? :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
> 
> Seriously. What are you trying to figure out here. A woman is actively complaining about her husband to you about very specific sexual issues. This is one thing and one thing ONLY.
> 
> ...



I am just not that type of guy. The reason I am trying to figure it out is because I have just never been in this type of situation. I really want to make sure I am not just blowing something out of porpotion. I hope when I tell my wife I get the same treatment you do. Plan on telling her when I get home from work.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

youkiddingme said:


> You asked: Is she flirting?
> 
> Well I have a question? Are you serious? Are you really needing to know what she was up to? You seem to be a guy that can think much better than that.
> 
> ...



I think the reason why I am serious that I don't know if she is flirting or not is again because I have never been in this position. I am normally a very shy person and this really caught me off guard. I am really not good at reading people whats so ever. By reading all the comments I now know what was probably up. I am 100% faithful and always will be.


----------



## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

So you would not mind if a male friend had this same conversation with your wife while she was in his house?


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

6301 said:


> Sorry. I missed the part about your wife having a ONS and I agree that this might be a set up.
> 
> I'm 66 and in all my years I have yet to meet a woman who would just blurt out to me about her asking her husband for a 69 and then dropping the laser job she got. You just don't talk like that to some random guy that you don't really know that well or any other guy for that matters.
> 
> ...


If they are in coohoots I am going to be pissed my wife would do that to me because I have never given her a reason to not trust me. She has given me plenty of reasons yet I am still faithful. Sometimes I do question why but unless I ever get divoced I am reamining faithful!


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

youkiddingme said:


> So you would not mind if a male friend had this same conversation with your wife while she was in his house?


Of course I would. In fact I have been in that situation recently and my wife fought me on the fact it was no big deal until it became one.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

They are not close enough in my mind to be in cohoots but you never know. My wife never talks about what happened in our past. She is very embarrased about it. It really stays between us and our MC. She just recently left a group of friends who we deemed were bad for her to be around. We were hoping these new local friends with kids in class together would be better but I guess not. She never wanted these new friends to know what happened with us so I doubt they are in cohoots. But again as you can tell I am a very bad read on people.


----------



## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

You went to her house to pick up something...right?

Who's idea was it for you to go do the pick up?

Did mutual friend know you were coming over?

Was friend expecting you or your wife?

Was your wife home when you returned?


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> You went to her house to pick up something...right?
> 
> Who's idea was it for you to go do the pick up?
> 
> ...


The night before I said either my wife or I would be swinging by at somepoint.

I was out and had my wife text her to say I was coming (because i got worried about a set up based on all these comments I did see the text on my wifes phone last night and it just said that I would be swinging by and if that would be ok and the women said yes). My wife and have full openness about our phones and use eachothers a lot.

Yes my wife was home when I got home.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I think the reason why I am serious that I don't know if she is flirting or not is again because I have never been in this position. I am normally a very shy person and this really caught me off guard. I am really not good at reading people whats so ever. By reading all the comments I now know what was probably up. I am 100% faithful and always will be.


I'm the same way, so take what some of these folks are saying with a grain of salt. To them, it's obvious. To us (those who don't read people or situations too well), this thread is a totally legit question.

I've been notorious for this type of thing. I tend to automatically give people the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time, and I also don't usually pick up on when a woman is being flirty with me, either.

If I were in your shoes with this situation, I likely wouldn't have gone straight to "she's trying to nail me", either. I'd be thinking "married woman, kids in the other room, friends of my wife and I" and it wouldn't even OCCUR to me that she was doing anything BUT speaking her mind. Yes, I'd probably have thought it was awkward and inappropriate, and yes, I'd tell my wife about it, but it'd probably take HER to tell me this woman was fishing.

FWIW, I don't have Aspergers, don't have major self esteem issues, I'm an attractive guy, confident, etc. So my personal lack of reading these situations correctly isn't attributed to "oh, she wouldn't be hitting on ME" or me being autistic in any way. It's equal parts naiveté and just not thinking like that. I tend not to think the worst of people, so my first reaction in different situations is not one of suspicion.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

alexm said:


> I'm the same way, so take what some of these folks are saying with a grain of salt. To them, it's obvious. To us (those who don't read people or situations too well), this thread is a totally legit question.
> 
> I've been notorious for this type of thing. I tend to automatically give people the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time, and I also don't usually pick up on when a woman is being flirty with me, either.
> 
> ...


Wow you said this pefectly! You and I think exactly the same and your last paragraph describes me to a T as well. Thank you for understanding why I asked the question!


----------



## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

And to those that THINK...... this response is unbelievable.


----------



## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

6301 said:


> I'm 66 and in all my years I have yet to meet a woman who would just blurt out to me about her asking her husband for a 69 and then dropping the laser job she got. You just don't talk like that to some random guy that you don't really know that well or any other guy for that matters.





Confusedhub3 said:


> I am just not that type of guy.
> ... because I have just never been in this type of situation.


I've been somewhat in this situation, more than once, and yes, women who barely know me, and/or just met me will blurt out the s** talk. 

Confused - you say you're not "that type of guy." She may just be an attention wh**e, and she sees you as "safe," so she's venting, like she'd do with her gf's. 

Was she flirting to lead to s**? Maybe. 
Is she in cahoots with your W? Maybe.
Was she trying to make you her new male BFF? Maybe.

Bottom line...she has shyte boundaries, so don't put yourself in a one-on-one situation with her. Ever.


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> Of course I would. In fact I have been in that situation recently and my wife fought me on the fact it was no big deal until it became one.


So you both are in situations like this, and you both don't see the inappropriateness of it very clearly....


It seems you have to pay attention to boundaries here. You need to read books on the man wife relationships like Not Just Friends.


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Sounds to me like she was testing the waters. If you engaged fully in her conversation and shared your own thoughts on 69s etc, and 'empathised' with her (e.g. I wish MY wife would do that!), she'd know you were open for a romp if she wanted to partake.

Disengaging from such conversations, showing disinterest, changing the subject etc is a sign of not being available.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

breeze said:


> Sounds to me like she was testing the waters. If you engaged fully in her conversation and shared your own thoughts on 69s etc, and 'empathised' with her (e.g. I wish MY wife would do that!), she'd know you were open for a romp if she wanted to partake.
> 
> Disengaging from such conversations, showing disinterest, changing the subject etc is a sign of not being available.


I tried to change the subject.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I tried to change the subject.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, I meant *change the subject*, not *try to change the subject*. I've always been the shy type too, but if I don't want to talk about something, I don't. A token effort to change the subject doesn't count, but from what you said, you were turned on by the whole thing, so it's not surprising it didn't work.  Good luck in dealing with her from here!


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Run, Forrest, Run!

Run far, far away and don't ever look back. 

Tell your wife and stay away from BOTH of them. 

This was an obvious come-on. You were alone with her in her house and she's talking to you about sex and her lady parts. I've been with enough women and around enough women to know this isn't some casual conversation when you barely know each other. 

I hope by now you've told your wife, and also told your wife that you won't be going over there any more. If their sex life is bad like that, there's no need for you to KNOW or get involved in any way. 

I would guess her H might say similar things to your W as well. You need to protect your marriage and stay away from these wolves.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It could also be that she just wanted to see if you would bite. She may have had no intention of doing anything with you. Many women flirt with men were there is zero attraction. 

They use them for an ego boost.


----------



## justtryin (Apr 22, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> It could also be that she just wanted to see if you would bite. She may have had no intention of doing anything with you. Many women flirt with men were there is zero attraction.
> 
> They use them for an ego boost.


People say it was "obviously" a come-on, but I see it equally possible it was simply an ego-boost. Leading on, teasing, etc. hoping for the attention. I've known more women who are that way than who are the "obvious come-on" way. They like the attention. Especially from a man they see as "weaker" than them, she knows she is in control and can shut it down if it goes too far. No offense to OP but women like that usually see a "shy" guy - as you describe - as weak. Easy to manipulate and toy with.



Regardless it's the same response from you, OP. Quit letting it go to your head, which it obviously is. If you're truly into your marriage, tell your wife immediately. Invest in THAT relationship. Use this situation as an example of how a healthy and happy married couple interact with each other - by being transparent and honest with each other for instance. And a great time to discuss boundaries, how situations like that should always be stopped in their tracks and communicated immediately to each other, in the interests of a good marriage for BOTH of you. Be a leader, demonstrate to her how it's done and how it's handled. Tell her your expectations of the same type of response by her when she finds herself in that type of situation (and she will). Show her that's not the type of MAN you are, she married a quality man, this is who you are and this is who you expect HER to be as well.

Use this to your advantage, like a man, rather than being played for a chump. If your wife is truly into you, she'll respect you for it, and likely you won't be seeing much of that other woman anymore anyways.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> She just recently left a group of friends who we deemed were bad for her to be around.


Did they contribute to your wife's adultery?


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> When I was there she randomly told me she had texted her husband earlier and said they should 69 but was upset with his response.


Hey! She hit on you! Congratulations. Has any woman ever done that before?



Confusedhub3 said:


> Then later in the convo she mentioned to me that she lazers her vagina.


I bet that hurts. Maybe she meant she lasers her vulva. This is hit #2. 



Confusedhub3 said:


> Then she told me how one day she came down stairs in lingerie and ****y make up but her husband said his stomach hurt and she was upset about that.


Hit #3.



Confusedhub3 said:


> She then told me I guess it's just boring missionary for her.


Hit #4.



Confusedhub3 said:


> I found all the comments odd since we never really had convos before and never like this. I was just there to pick something up and her small kids were in the other room. She is very attractive. She is a bit younger than me and my wife since she is 28 and we are 38 so it could be just a age thing but *I figured I get some feedback from this forum on what this may mean.*


Basically, she was soliciting you for sex. You see, she is not sexually fulfilled by her delta/gamma husband who is a sexual dud, even though she offers herself up on a silver platter. She's presenting herself as having a lot of pent up sexual demand and desire for experimentation. However, you failed the test and she now sees you are not the alpha type she somehow mistook you for.

My guess is that she won't try again with you.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Plus she is 10 years your junior another notch.
Even though you are in r, keep working on you. Work out go to parties and hey if some lady chats you up and your w sees this, she will attack you that night.
I don't advocate cheating, but subconsciously she has to know that YOU HAVE OPTIONS.
Get the book Married Mans Sex Life Primer.
Read it and live it. It's a game changer.

Keep her on her toes.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Thanks again all for all the feedback. Seriously it's great to have places like this to get advice and help digest these type of situations. I do feel what happened was out of bounds . I really do feel it was for attention. My wife and I are in a good place right now and I would never mess that up. I feel that my best bet is to let this go and keep my distance. I don't want to bring this up and have my wife flip out and interfere in their marriage. They obviously have issues but I don't want to be the cause it coming to light. I know it sounds selfish but honestly I don't have the energy to deal with this after all the reconciliation I have been through with my wife. I am finally in a good place mentally and I want to stay there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> Thanks again all for all the feedback. Seriously it's great to have places like this to get advice and help digest these type of situations. I do feel what happened was out of bounds . I really do feel it was for attention. My wife and I are in a good place right now and I would never mess that up. I feel that my best bet is to let this go and keep my distance. I don't want to bring this up and have my wife flip out and interfere in their marriage. They obviously have issues but I don't want to be the cause it coming to light. I know it sounds selfish but honestly I don't have the energy to deal with this after all the reconciliation I have been through with my wife. I am finally in a good place mentally and I want to stay there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's fair.
Sometimes you have to be selfish.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> Hey! She hit on you! Congratulations. Has any woman ever done that before?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Chill your roll and get a grip. 

She said something inappropriate. If she had a burning desire for him, she would have bared her soul or other parts of her anatomy at a time and place that was more propitious. I am certain there were better opportunities in the past. 

Not every come-on is an invitation for sex. Believe me, women do a great deal of disinterested flirting.


----------



## Confusedhub3 (Mar 9, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> Get a grip.
> 
> She said something inappropriate. If she had a burning desire for him, she would have bared her soul or other parts of her anatomy at a time and place that was more propitious. I am certain there were better opportunities in the past.
> 
> Not every come-on is an invitation for sex. Believe me, women do a great deal of disinterested flirting.


This is why I want to let it go. I just don't have enough to go on. Also this was the first time I was every really alone with her. We have only known them since August when our kids started school together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

I don't know, even hanging out with someone a few times in whatever setting it's easy to figure out the type of people they are in terms of humor/ease and openness. Did she come off as a crass person when you had been around her before? The laser comment could fall into that category. But the sex and 69 part seems a little more out of place and purposeful. I can be crass, but only around people I am comfortable with. Even so, I could not imagine making such a sex comment about my own husband to another man that I barely knew and was alone with. I don't even know if I could categorize that as flirting... seems more like "I'm letting you know how horny and lonely I am" and wants to know how you'd take that. I agree that it sounds like "fishing." I believe I read the posts thoroughly but maybe I missed it, but what was your response to each of these things she said?


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Confusedhub3 said:


> Thanks again all for all the feedback. Seriously it's great to have places like this to get advice and help digest these type of situations. I do feel what happened was out of bounds . I really do feel it was for attention. My wife and I are in a good place right now and I would never mess that up. I feel that my best bet is to let this go and keep my distance. I don't want to bring this up and have my wife flip out and interfere in their marriage. They obviously have issues but I don't want to be the cause it coming to light. _I know it sounds selfish but honestly I don't have the energy to deal with this after all the reconciliation I have been through with my wife. I am finally in a good place mentally and I want to stay there._
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Especially to protect yourself you need to casually mention it. You get burned if you don't. Mention it joyfully, as if it is a joke. Then leave it alone and play innocent (which you are). Let the women deal with it, and stay away from that women, take care never to be alone with her again.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Teenage girls will often talk like this, essentially they are experimenting with older men who they regard as relatively safe. They assume a man old enough to be their Dad will act responsibly and there they can mess around a bit. I suspect what this lady was doing was something similar. As a married man, who she sees as safely married (though I could be wrong as you know about this forum), she was probably after affirmation that she could get you hot under the collar without anything getting out of hand.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Confusedhub3 said:


> I won't lie. It turned me on.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It was meant to.

I fear you must let it slide, but be careful. If you mention it to your wife, it may well come across as you flirting; "Women don't just say things like that!"


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Confusedhub3 said:


> Thanks again all for all the feedback. Seriously it's great to have places like this to get advice and help digest these type of situations. I do feel what happened was out of bounds . I really do feel it was for attention. My wife and I are in a good place right now and I would never mess that up. I feel that my best bet is to let this go and keep my distance. I don't want to bring this up and have my wife flip out and interfere in their marriage. They obviously have issues but I don't want to be the cause it coming to light. I know it sounds selfish but honestly I don't have the energy to deal with this after all the reconciliation I have been through with my wife. I am finally in a good place mentally and I want to stay there.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Very wise.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think it's beyond flirting. She's sharing intimate information with you about her marriage and, IMO, is trying to engage you in an intimately charged relationship with her.

Tell your W (before she does...) and avoid being alone with her. IMO, she's setting you up, and when she realizes it isn't working she could twist the story around and make it sound like it was you engaging her.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Cosmos said:


> I think it's beyond flirting. She's sharing intimate information with you about her marriage and, IMO, is trying to engage you in an intimately charged relationship with her.
> 
> Tell your W (before she does...) and avoid being alone with her. IMO, she's setting you up, and when she realizes it isn't working she could twist the story around and make it sound like it was you engaging her.


Avoid being alone is good advice. I might even mention to the wife that she is a bit flirty in her manner and it makes you uncomfortable. However, (and this is where I could be completely wrong) this behavior is not that unusual but could well be seen as very unlikely by his wife. I think it is a young girl being daft and she will grow out of it once she is 93.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Machiavelli said:


> Hey! She hit on you! Congratulations. Has any woman ever done that before?


You do seem to write as though he should have jumped at the chance and as if it was very unusual behaviour.



Machiavelli said:


> Basically, she was soliciting you for sex. You see, she is not sexually fulfilled by her delta/gamma husband who is a sexual dud, even though she offers herself up on a silver platter. She's presenting herself as having a lot of pent up sexual demand and desire for experimentation. However, you failed the test and she now sees you are not the alpha type she somehow mistook you for.
> 
> My guess is that she won't try again with you.


I doubt she will. It was a one off and she wanted a bit of affirmation. He is a married man and not desperate.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> I think it's beyond flirting. She's sharing intimate information with you about her marriage and, IMO, is trying to engage you in an intimately charged relationship with her.


I agree. She wasn't venting. She wasn't feeling sad so she started talking about 69'ing and whatnot. It's so transparent what she was doing.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> Tell your W (before she does...) and avoid being alone with her. IMO, she's setting you up, and when she realizes it isn't working she could twist the story around and make it sound like it was you engaging her.


:iagree:


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

It is not uncommon for women to act like this. It is extremely rare for women to tell their friends they act like this. I really do not think this behaviour is as unusual as many women on here think.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I disagree. This is not considered normal behavior for most wives when talking to a man they are "friends" with while they are married. 

"Rare" to tell other women they "act" like this? HUH?

Most women don't go around discussing all t he intimate details she was with another man in their marital home, knowing the other guy is also married.

Ulterior motives here.

Most women wouldn't do this:

_ Then later in the convo *she mentioned to me that she lazers her vagina.* Then she told me how *one day she came down stairs in lingerie and ****y make up but her husband said his stomach hurt *and she was upset about that. She then told me I guess i*t's just boring missionary for her*. I found all the comments odd since we never really had convos before and never like this. I was just there to pick something up* and her small kids were in the other room*._


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

I would not say most, but I have been in the situation described several times. Either women are unusually forthcoming around me, or it is not that rare (I am sure most would not, but it is not as bizarre as might be assumed).


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So a ton of your wife's married female friends talk to you about lasering their vaginas and 69'ing with their husbands when you go pick up something at their house with their kids in the room next door?


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> So a ton of your wife's married female friends talk to you about lasering their vaginas and 69'ing with their husbands when you go pick up something at their house with their kids in the room next door?


Not a ton, no. But I have certainly have a couple of friends or my wife's speak from inappropriately to very inappropriately. I have had one certainly express very intense interest in seeing my penis. 

If one of your friends acted like this, would expect your friend to tell you?

I do not claim to be able to tell you what behavior lone women get from men, as I am a man and can only speak for myself. I can give more insight into what sort of behaviour I see from women. Part of you might well be wondering what I did not provoke a woman to act like this, I would expect his wife to have the same thoughts.


----------



## MRABoysHaveSmallPeanut (Mar 13, 2014)

For what purpose would she lazer her vagina? That sounds painful.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What a handle/name you have, newb.

Do you mean MRA like Men's Rights Activists?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Mr The Other said:


> Not a ton, no. But I have certainly have a couple of friends or my wife's speak from inappropriately to very inappropriately. I have had one certainly express very intense interest in seeing my penis.
> 
> If one of your friends acted like this, would expect your friend to tell you?
> 
> I do not claim to be able to tell you what behavior lone women get from men, as I am a man and can only speak for myself. I can give more insight into what sort of behaviour I see from women. Part of you might well be wondering what I did not provoke a woman to act like this, I would expect his wife to have the same thoughts.


I can't answer for JB, but I can for myself. No, I would not expect that my friends would tell me if they hit on my husband. They don't. Tbh, they are never alone with him. Frankly, I'd drop my friend if she ever did that. And, if she DID hit on him, I damn sure would want him to tell me. I'd be PISSED if he didn't.

I find it funny, really, that in the beginning, the advice has been "tell your wife now"... and has now tapered to "well, maybe you're better off not saying anything..." Seriously? What difference does it make if this is "her way" or if she was hitting on him? It makes no difference... it was inappropriate, and HE should tell his wife, immediately. All he has to do is say "Hey, wife, this is what happened, and idk if she was actually hitting on me or if this is 'how she is'... but I really found it to be inappropriate. Perhaps you could be the one to go to her house in the future?" And leave it at that. If wife thinks he was encouraging her, that's on her. He still needs to let her know, whether there is a chance it will happen again or not.


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> Not every come-on is an invitation for sex.* Believe me, women do a great deal of disinterested flirting*.


Then I've got laid many times by disinterested women.


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> Chill your roll and get a grip.
> 
> She said something inappropriate. If she had a burning desire for him, she would have bared her soul or other parts of her anatomy at a time and place that was more propitious. I am certain there were better opportunities in the past.
> 
> Not every come-on is an invitation for sex. Believe me, women do a great deal of disinterested flirting.


This was an open, direct troll for sex. Clearly, you're not up to speed on the usual female approaches, but when a woman wants to discuss the details of needing a partner for 69 with you, that's an open invitation. Five direct invites in one conversation is not "disinterested flirting."


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> I can't answer for JB, but I can for myself. No, I would not expect that my friends would tell me if they hit on my husband. They don't. Tbh, they are never alone with him. Frankly, I'd drop my friend if she ever did that. And, if she DID hit on him, I damn sure would want him to tell me. I'd be PISSED if he didn't.
> 
> *I find it funny, really, that in the beginning, the advice has been "tell your wife now"... and has now tapered to "well, maybe you're better off not saying anything..."* Seriously? What difference does it make if this is "her way" or if she was hitting on him? It makes no difference... it was inappropriate, and HE should tell his wife, immediately. All he has to do is say "Hey, wife, this is what happened, and idk if she was actually hitting on me or if this is 'how she is'... but I really found it to be inappropriate. Perhaps you could be the one to go to her house in the future?" And leave it at that. If wife thinks he was encouraging her, that's on her. He still needs to let her know, whether there is a chance it will happen again or not.


I noticed that too, and am thinking WTF? If someone spoke like that to me (I wouldn't find myself in that situation in the first place, TBH), I'd be on the phone on my way home telling W about it. Wayyy over the top for opposite sex married people. Clearly a come-on in my book. There was a time in my life where that would've led to other things, real fast.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> Not every come-on is an invitation for sex. Believe me, women do a great deal of disinterested flirting.


Speak for yourself. If I'm flirting, I'm interested. My husband can attest to that. I don't flirt with anyone but my husband.


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Mr The Other said:


> You do seem to write as though he should have jumped at the chance and as if it was very unusual behaviour.


The OP appears to be in an exclusive relationship, so he shouldn't have jumped at it. Where do you get the idea that was my opinion? However, his cluelessness is extreme.



Mr The Other said:


> I doubt she will. It was a one off and she wanted a bit of affirmation. He is a married man and not desperate.


Actually, she wanted him to eat at the Y, specifically her lazered Y.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> This was an open, direct troll for sex. Clearly, you're not up to speed on the usual female approaches, but when a woman wants to discuss the details of needing a partner for 69 with you, that's an open invitation. Five direct invites in one conversation is not "disinterested flirting."


For a change, I find myself agreeing with Mach.... :scratchhead:


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> I noticed that too, and am thinking WTF? If someone spoke like that to me (I wouldn't find myself in that situation in the first place, TBH), I'd be on the phone on my way home telling W about it. Wayyy over the top for opposite sex married people. Clearly a come-on in my book. There was a time in my life where that would've led to other things, real fast.


I used to tell my wife every time I got hit on in an extreme fashion, and all it did was piss her off, and she was always talking about me filing sexual harassment complaints. She actually started to try to one up me with approach stories. That did piss me off, because she has some dubious boundaries anyway, being the touchy feely sort. This could have lead to trouble, so I just shut up about it.

My advice on telling the wife is to tell her about it only if the woman persists. I'm pretty sure she will never try it again, but you never know. I used to act completely clueless, just to see how explicit the women would get with the offer. Off course, when you finally have to deliver the "No" to the explicit offer, they'll never be friends with you again.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Mr The Other said:


> But I have certainly have a couple of friends or my wife's speak from inappropriately to very inappropriately. I have had one certainly express very intense interest in seeing my penis.


These aren't your wife's "friends." I would hope you told her that. How incredibly disrespectful to not only your wife but your marriage. 



Mr The Other said:


> Part of you might well be wondering what I did not provoke a woman to act like this, I would expect his wife to have the same thoughts.


No, I am not wondering that at all. I am however, wondering why you choose to still hang with people who clearly don't give a fig about your wife and her feelings. Provoke? Hardly. These women choose to act this way to you and your wife. 



Maricha75 said:


> I find it funny, really, that in the beginning, the advice has been "tell your wife now"... and has now tapered to "well, maybe you're better off not saying anything..." Seriously? What difference does it make if this is "her way" or if she was hitting on him? It makes no difference... it was inappropriate, and HE should tell his wife, immediately.


:iagree:


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> These aren't your wife's "friends." I would hope you told her that. How incredibly disrespectful to not only your wife but your marriage.
> 
> 
> 
> No, I am not wondering that at all. I am however, wondering why you choose to still hang with people who clearly don't give a fig about your wife and her feelings. Provoke? Hardly. These women choose to act this way to you and your wife.


I get the impression you confuse me saying that this happens with condoning it. I do not. However, you find it very hard to believe that this happens and I suspect his wife will struggle to believe it too. I do not hang around with any of the people who have acted like this. Do not blame me for the behaviour, but it does happen. 

What he can say is that she has a flirty manner and he is uncomfortable.


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Strange....either the women is far to open and has no proper boundaries or she is hitting on you.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> This was an open, direct troll for sex. Clearly, you're not up to speed on the usual female approaches, but when a woman wants to discuss the details of needing a partner for 69 with you, that's an open invitation. Five direct invites in one conversation is not "disinterested flirting."


 :rofl::rofl::rofl:


I am female. However, I defer to you Mac. You are far more competent than I to reveal what women think, how they think, and their motivations vis a vis sex.


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> 
> I am female. However, I defer to you Mac. You are far more competent than I to reveal what women think, how they think, and their motivations vis a vis sex.


I know how women approach men they desire to have sex with. When was the last time you, as a married woman, approached a man not your husband for sex? What technique did you use? When was the last time a horny heterosexual woman approached you for sex? Did she talk about her lazered pvssy?


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Mr The Other said:


> I would not say most, but I have been in the situation described several times. Either women are unusually forthcoming around me, or it is not that rare (I am sure most would not, but it is not as bizarre as might be assumed).



* self censorship editing *


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

See_Listen_Love said:


> * self censorship editing *


Thanks! :smthumbup:


----------



## MRABoysHaveSmallPeanut (Mar 13, 2014)

Machiavelli said:


> I know how women approach men they desire to have sex with. When was the last time you, as a married woman, approached a man not your husband for sex? What technique did you use? When was the last time a horny heterosexual woman approached you for sex? Did she talk about her lazered pvssy?


So you know women better than women themselves? That's a bit of a paradox you have there don't you think. Unless you are a woman yourself.


----------



## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

Some wives (husbands too of course) do this when they are unhappy or unfulfilled in their marriage. They're trying to get that attention/care/appreciation from an outside source. It's truly terrible and an immature way to deal with their life difficulties. But she's using you, absolutely. Don't let her.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

ComicBookLady said:


> Some wives (husbands too of course) do this when they are unhappy or unfulfilled in their marriage. They're trying to get that attention/care/appreciation from an outside source. It's truly terrible and an immature way to deal with their life difficulties. But she's using you, absolutely. Don't let her.


I wish I had written that instead of coming across as a *********. Well said.


----------



## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

Her comments would have to go to through a recovery program to be UPGRADED to inappropriate.

I don['t think I would want to be in the same room as her - she sounds kinda scary to me!!


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> I know how women approach men they desire to have sex with. When was the last time you, as a married woman, approached a man not your husband for sex? What technique did you use? When was the last time a horny heterosexual woman approached you for sex? Did she talk about her lazered pvssy?


How do you, as a married man, know that these women are interested in carrying though or just playing a game with you? You'd have to take them up on their offer to know the difference.


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> How do you, [Machiavelli] as a married man, know that these women are interested in carrying though or just playing a game with you? You'd have to take them up on their offer to know the difference.


I would not know very well the difference, but both way's are ending disastrous.

1. You get into cheating 

or

2. You end up as an idiot who took her joking remarks SERIOUS

So stay away from these women!


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MRABoysHaveSmallPeanut said:


> So you know women better than women themselves? That's a bit of a paradox you have there don't you think. Unless you are a woman yourself.


Since I'm the guy they approach for sex, I've seen all the various approaches. Any woman you ask can only tell about the approaches she herself uses. Even if she mixes it up, it's human nature to use what works for one, more or less over and over. I got to see many different approaches, but there are some you see over and over again being used by a large number of women. Complaining about a husband who can't get it up, doesn't have any sense of sexual adventure, has no libido, etc. is a one of the more common, widely used approaches. Also, "I got new boobs for my husband, but he doesn't really seem to be into them. Can I get your opinion?" is also a popular line.


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> How do you, as a married man, know that these women are interested in carrying though or just playing a game with you? You'd have to take them up on their offer to know the difference.


I wasn't always married. Plus, you don't have to slide it in to know they're willing to do the deed, although that's also a good indicator.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> I wasn't always married. Plus, you don't have to slide it in to know they're willing to do the deed, although that's also a good indicator.


:rofl::rofl:


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> I wasn't always married. Plus, you don't have to slide it in to know they're willing to do the deed, although that's also a good indicator.


I'm talking about now not 20 yrs ago before you got married. 

I'm not completely cut off from the mind of women. I have intimate knowledge of one and contact with scores of very frank women. 

My observation is that men are overly optimistic in their detect of a woman's willingness to have sex with them. That's my personal experience. Even politeness can be mistaken for an offer of a slipslot. 

Most women need confirmation that they are attractive enough to get a rise out of as many men as possible. Some are happy to get looks, some flirt to get attention and some still do and say things to get more concrete evidence of attraction. 

I doubt that they want every one of those men slipping anything into them.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> I'm talking about now not 20 yrs ago before you got married.
> 
> I'm not completely cut off from the mind of women. I have intimate knowledge of one and contact with scores of very frank women.
> 
> ...


But this woman is way out of line yes? She was certainly fishing for a reaction being it positive or negative. I disagree with you that "most woman need confirmation that they are attractive enough to get a rise out of as many men as possible." I agree with you that it does boost the ego to get looks and whistles from time to time, but most women who get that kind of attention at home DO NOT need the confirmation from stranger's.


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> I'm talking about now not 20 yrs ago before you got married.
> 
> I'm not completely cut off from the mind of women. I have intimate knowledge of one and contact with scores of very frank women.
> 
> ...


I agree. The situation reminds me of when teenage girls are very forward, they see a man their Dad's age as safe. Equally, the lady targetted a man who was clealry out of reach.

Of course, sometimes the 16 year old girl really is after sex with the 35 year old man and the woman may really after have been after a quick and dirty fling, but it is not clear. She might not know herself.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

In any case, what the wife's friend said was inappropriate and needs to be shut down. 

If that woman were my friend and she was saying those things to my husband / partner, I would be very upset and I would quietly freeze her out.

the longer that my partner sat on that information, the more I would question his long term desire to remain faithful to me..... to the point where I might start planning my own exit strategy.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Birds of a feather. 

Really? These are the types of people your wife is drawn to and makes friends with? You can indeed tell a lot about a person by the type of people they keep company with. 

OP, your wife just recently cheated on you, and I fear if she keeps women like this sleazebag on her friend roster, you will find yourself in the same situation again not far down the road.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Can everyone please stop rushing to the divorce court.


----------

