# I need help



## Frustrated13 (May 23, 2009)

My husband and I have been married for four years. He is suffering from an intense germ phobia. In the past year he has stopped going anywhere and rarely leaves our bedroom. We never go anywhere together and rarely have sex. I am burdened with full responsibility for everything. I support our family, take care of everything in the house, and am expected to not let this depress me. He wasn't like this our first two years of marriage. He attempted couseling but refuses to go back. I don't know what to do.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

What happened a year ago that would prompt this behavior? There may have been something that triggered this...

If he won't physically go to counseling then consider on-line counseling and think about going to one yourself.

If he has agoraphobia on top of everything else, he may have a serious mental disorder and finding the root or cause may help.

Get help...

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Frustrated13 said:


> My husband and I have been married for four years. He is suffering from an intense germ phobia. In the past year he has stopped going anywhere and rarely leaves our bedroom. We never go anywhere together and rarely have sex. I am burdened with full responsibility for everything. I support our family, take care of everything in the house, and am expected to not let this depress me. He wasn't like this our first two years of marriage. He attempted couseling but refuses to go back. I don't know what to do.


Sounds like OCD ( obsessive compulsive disorder)and a social phobia too.
first thing you should do is get him to a doctor and on meds...

if he refuses you need to get away from him before he destroys you with his mental illnesses.

yeah, he has mental illness from the sound of his behavior. you say "he may" ??? lol... hello.
he has maybe a few problems and disorders, and not just one !!

dont become an enabler.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

What is he DOING while not leaving the bedroom all the time? Does he just lay in bed, sleeping, or what?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think you should start throwing bugs and dirt in whatever room he's in. He'll leave.


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## Frustrated13 (May 23, 2009)

I am well aware that he has psychological issues. This started long before I met him, we have discussed the problem in depth. It became predominant in the past year although I am unsure why. Our life had finally settled down a little. He spends most of his time on his college work and comes out occasionally to talk to either myself or our child. He is not completely disconnected. The problem doesn't lie in a social disorder. The problem stems from a phobia which in turn affects the social aspects of his life. He will never go on meds and I understand his reasons for this. I am seeking counseling for myself to deal with the anxiety of this situation, but I love my husband and I don't want to leave him.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

We know what you are willing to do. What is he willing to do?


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

It is OCD. SSRI antidepressants will stop the symptoms.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

My dh also has a germ and dirt phobia; washes his hands all the time. His mother was a germaphobe and I think that has something to do with it. My dh has OCD in several arenas. OCD works well if you are into nuclear bomb guarding and perhaps aviation, but not with personal relationships. He needs to understand how it affects you, too. I commend you for going to counseling to help you deal with it from your direction.


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