# feeling stupid



## hoping4chance (Mar 18, 2015)

I been married for over 9 years. This weekend while out with my friends and husband I did something stupid. I kissed a girl for 3 seconds. and Im being honest about that. My husband is ballistic and is ending our marriage over this. He has continued to text me and harass me over how I ruined his life and our kids life with this. I tried talking to him to no avail. I want to stay in my marriage. I love my husband. How do I get him to forgive me and try to move past this stupid thing I did.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

What were the circumstances of the 3 second kiss?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

He'll either calm down soon and you can work it through, or he won't. If the latter, then I would suggest preemptively moving out and filing for divorce. When he realizes he will lose you, he may decide that reconciliation is the better path. However, for now he is angry and hurting, and needs to get past that before he can do anything else that might be rational.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

honestly isn't that a bit over extreme on your husband part...is there anything else that si contributing to his desire to dissolve the marraige>


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Too many blanks to fill in to be able to give any feedback.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Why did you kiss her? Was it a drunk dare?

Or are you attracted to her and really wanted to kiss her?

We need more information.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Sounds like somebody is a little insecure about his own sexuality.
More details could benefit us.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I think he'll cool off, you'll just have to give him time. Was this the first time you did anything like this?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

SamuraiJack said:


> Sounds like somebody is a little insecure about his own sexuality.
> More details could benefit us.


Would he have felt more secure in his sexuality if she had kissed a man?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SamuraiJack said:


> Sounds like somebody is a little insecure about his own sexuality.
> More details could benefit us.


Would he be considered insecure about his own sexuality if the OP had kissed another guy for three seconds?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Would you be pissed if he kissed someone else? I'm guessing that your marriage pretty much does not allow for kissing other people. He is allowed to be pissed. 

You have to apologize.... and grovel. It's up to him to get passed it or not.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Ending a 9 Year marriage with children over a 3 second kiss is pretty extreme.

There must be much more to the story. Care to fill in the grand canyon size gaps?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

But being majorly pissed that your spouse kissed someone else is not that extreme. Your spouse isn't supposed to kiss anyone else ..... ever.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

What's with all this bashing of hoping4chance's husband? Just because some guys might be into girl on girl doesn't mean something is wrong with him for having issue with it. Let's put it in perspective. Yes it was a kiss and not sex but it's new and raw emotion to him. Maybe he's a little insecure. Well so f*cking what. It's still a violation of trust and that is not a friend of marriage. Maybe h4c will give us more details?


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Would he be considered insecure about his own sexuality if the OP had kissed another guy for three seconds?


Whoa! Assuming I read this bit from the OP's original post correctly:



> This weekend while out with my friends and husband I did something stupid. I kissed a girl for 3 seconds. and Im being honest about that.


she kissed the other woman right in front of her husband and her friends. And he's going to divorce her? 

My advice would be for her to leave this loon as quickly as possible.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

sidney2718 said:


> she kissed the other woman right in front of her husband and her friends. And he's going to divorce her?
> 
> My advice would be for her to leave this loon as quickly as possible.


Why are you assassinating OP's husband for having an issue with his wife kissing someone? I don't get your angle where you think he's somehow a loon? You realize that this is new and raw emotion for him unlike us who can read it from a distance.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think part of the reason for such divergent responses is that some men don't view a same-sex encounter in the same way. 

If my wife told me she kissed another woman - in fact if she said she had hot wild sex with another woman, I would find the idea exciting, not threatening.

No reason for me to feel this way, and I know that other people view it differently, but for me it would be a complete non-issue. (though pictures would be nice.. )


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Coping with Infidelity might be a better forum and you need to fill us in more. Was your H watching? What were the circumstances? Were you performing for other men?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Maybe any girl on girl intimate act was a hard boundary for her husband. Don't see why this should mean somethjng's wrong with Him or that he's unreasonable. If the script was flipped and my husband kissed a man for 3 seconds we would have nothing left to talk about. People can have personal preferences and boundaries and should not be bashed for what those preferences and boundaries are nor bashed for enforcing them.

As for OP of course there is not enough info to advise you.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

"Sounds like somebody is a little insecure about his own sexuality"

Drivel. Is that how you'd justify your wife's reaction as you experiment with men?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

sidney2718 said:


> Whoa! Assuming I read this bit from the OP's original post correctly:
> 
> 
> 
> she kissed the other woman right in front of her husband and her friends. And he's going to divorce her?


My husband would have said something like do that again, that was hot.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

No wonder trolls have it so easy on this site... It takes one short vague statement to get people into a tizzy about a man being secure in his sexuality....

...what happened to the OP?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> My husband would have said something like do that again, that was hot.


Be fair. Your H is also the bit more "open" than most.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Be fair. Your H is also the bit more "open" than most.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is true that both he and I think that your average American is wildly uptight about sexual matters. Getting your knickers in a twist over a girl on girl kiss in full view is, according to where we stand, uptight. That rates nothing higher than "That was uncool" if he is not down with it. But that is just me/us.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> It is true that both he and I think that your average American is wildly uptight about sexual matters. Getting your knickers in a twist over a girl on girl kiss in full view is, according to where we stand, uptight. That rates nothing higher than "That was uncool" if he is not down with it. But that is just me/us.


I am opposite end of spectrum when it comes to intimacy and it sounds like OPs husband is as well but we still need more info.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bam85 (Feb 13, 2015)

A high percentage of men admit to girl-on-girl action being one of their top fantasies. That doesn't mean it's true for all guys. I don't think Mr. Bam would leave me for kissing another woman but I know he'd be upset with me...and rightfully so. He doesn't think it's okay for us to run around kissing other people.

Having said that, I think guy-on-guy action is hot. I'd never be pissed with Mr. Bam if he kissed a dude (not that he ever would want to). But that's just me. I'm not a man so I wouldn't be threatened by another man. It's like comparing apples and oranges. As an apple, I wouldn't be upset with someone who wanted an orange. I'd be upset if they picked another apple because...wtf...why is that apple sweeter and juicier? lol


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Another hit and run thread.


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