# Husband is addicted



## puffs31 (Aug 12, 2010)

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and things between us are just getting worse. We haven't had sex in two years, he says he's just not interested and can live without it. This is a constant source of pain for me because I never thought I'd have to live without it.

Now on top of that 6 months ago he developed an addiction to a computer game and I just can't handle it anymore. He plays from 13 - 17 hours a day, everyday and if I want to talk to him it can only happen while he is playing the game. He never just stops and turn it off, no matter how serious the conversation. If I wam trying to talk to him he is always typing to other people online. If I'm going out and want to kiss him goodbye he says he can;t because he is busy with his game. We only have one computer so I rarely can get on because he only cares about him being able to be online to play. His own mother came by our house, we hadn't seen her in months and he would stop his game to look at her and just say hello. Needless to say, she was really hurt. He never takes time out to spend with me because he'd rather play his game. Yet in all this he's always trying to tell me he loves me and I'm just not feeling it. The man isn't even showering because he "forgets" to because he's so busy on his game.

I have talked to him about this till there is nothing else left to say. He now just gets made at me and acts like he hasn't done anything wrong. Says he plays because there is nothing else to do. It makes me sick to look at him sitting in one spot all day and night doing this.

What I want is for him to cut the hours he's on in half, start spending time with me, respecting me and others, take care of himself and for us to start having sex, even if it's just once a month.
MY question is, am I asking for too much? And what do I do now?
I seriously am at the point where I want nothing to do with him as long as he is playing this game. And when is it ever going to end? There is always going to be another game to play. I am going crazy with this. So if anyone has any advice or just an opinion, I am always ears and thankful for any replys I get.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

if he's playing that much, he's not doing a lot of other things either. Does he have a job? Friends? Social life?

I think it's time to draw a line in the sand. he either gets help or you move on with your life.


----------



## Southernsbo (Nov 30, 2009)

I don't understand this at all. As Chris has asked, does he have a job? This is so unfair on you, if he can survive without sex then what about you. He is selfish and sick, I'm sorry to say.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

What game? Just wondering. Keep reading about World of Warcraft addictions.


----------



## puffs31 (Aug 12, 2010)

Yes, it totally is World of Warcraft. Good call And so many people are addicted. 
No, my husband doesn't have a job and he doesn't go out to socialize. When he does see the friends he has, he invites them over to watch him play. If someone starts talking about something other than the game, he just doesn't listen. He'll cut a friend off mid-sentence about something serious and important to talk about the game. I think that is so rude.

Now today he's mad at me because he was really rude about letting me get on the computer to get some very important things done and I called him out on this. I really can't believe he's mad at me, I feel like he should be looking at himself and caring about living a good, productive life. I don't have any problems with the game, just the way he plays it. And seeing him put so much energy into a game, but not into our marriage or sex life just gets under my skin. I just feel like I don't matter to him.
I think I'm about ready to explode.


----------



## posh7 (Jul 7, 2010)

OMG get rid of him! He NEEDS to get a job or get out!

Please don't let him walk all over you! Tell him it's either your way or the highway!


----------



## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

You have to impress upon him that your marriage depends on him getting help. Counselors are well aware of these addictions now and have ways to counsel and help. There are also therapy centers just for this purpose. There may be one in your area. He has to be brought out of his fog and made to understand he is neglecting everything - himself, you, and the marriage. If he refuses to go, you have to leave. Normally, that will wake him up. But you can't sit there and do nothing, while seething with resentment and feeling unloved and neglected.


----------



## puffs31 (Aug 12, 2010)

Thanks all, for really giving me some sound advice and extra strength I need to do the right thing. I am the kind of person that once something is decided I will make it happen and I think my only option here is to leave. He really doesn't see what the big deal is.

He doesn't believe in therapy or counseling, so thats a no go. He says no one can tell him anything he doesn't already know. Sad, I know.

Seething in resentment just isn't any way to live this life. I'd rather be single than do this another day.

Thanks again for all your support:] I'll keep you posted on the outcome.


----------



## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

I assume since you work and he doesn't your money pays all of the bills? Is he a stay-at-home dad taking care of kids, or is it just yall? If its only you two, get some tough love on him. WOW requires a internet connection. So, give him the option of either working with you to set an acceptable amount of time to play WOW, or you will cancel your internet service. By allowing him to not work and only do what HE wants to do you are enabling him in this addiction. So, you need to stop enabling him.


----------

