# How often do you?



## allshookup (Nov 9, 2011)

Ok, 

I have been reading through some of the posts, and I feel I need to really ask this.

I am highish libido - well higher than my husband. I am looking at making love every other day, or more frequently if I can get it.

He is very low. Perhaps every couple of weeks, if I am lucky.

So my question is to you guys and gals. I am not trying to compare myself or my OH, and I know that 'normal' is unique to each couple.

But how often per week/month would you say is normal for you?

I am just curious...

And NO BRAGGING!!!


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Usually once a week, sometimes twice. A lot of that has to do with work schedules and kids around. When we were going through a bad time in our marriage, though, it was once a month or less. I have a higher drive than my husband.

You can improve the frequency and there are sometimes emotional factors involved in the fequency of sex. 

Have you tried to talk to your H about having more sex? Has he always been low drive? Has he been checked out medically? Is he depressed or an AD meds? Is he in good health? Does he have a stressful job or issues he's dealing with? Is the quality of your marrige good otherwise or are there issues? Answering those questions may provide some insight.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

allshookup said:


> Ok,
> 
> I have been reading through some of the posts, and I feel I need to really ask this.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

5-7 times a week lately. I'm the one who initiates. Hubby goes along with me. We been married 12 years, it's not always been this frequent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Not often enough! I've been keeping track for the last several years on my calendar, with a few cryptic notes. My wife doesn't know, but it's fun to look back and think of some of the more memorable occasions! We have averaged about every 5-6 days, or about 70 times per year. Unfortunately this has been trending downward and will probably be closer to 60 this year. We've been married 26 years and both turned 50 this year. My wife is usually willing to accommodate my desire, but she clearly prefers a 7-10 day interval. I would prefer to be in the 3 day range, but her level of interest is intimately connected to my level of enjoyment. I spend a good portion of the week frustrated, don't really have many good options to meet the need.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

We do twice a week.

I'd do every day, my wife would do every week.


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## AnotherEarthling (Oct 31, 2011)

Once a month if I am lucky.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Depends on what you mean by 'do'. 

If by 'do' you mean PIV intercourse, we average about 2 - 3 times per week, but there's usually something either sexual or non-sexual (e.g. cuddling, holding, kissing) involved together outside of intercourse almost daily.

Here's the averages based upon studies from the Kinsey Institute:

The Kinsey Institute - Sexuality Information Links - FAQ [Related Resources]


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

4 to 6 times a week, but I'm only dating. Don't know what it would be like if we got married or lived together.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

we'd both like to every day, but averages to 4-5 times a week due to kids or busy schedules or falling asleep early from a rough day. We both actually comment when we miss a day and curse our aging tired bodies.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Once a week if I'm lucky...sometimes, not even that. He is terribly 'low drive'. 

I'm in the process of 180-ing him. So that means no initiating on my part, see what happens. I'm sure I'll go weeks without. And since I'm 180-ing, I'm going to have to bite my tongue, too!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

One of the most startling surprises of joining this site was finding out what other men call low drive. I've always thought of myself as lower than normal drive. Three to four times a week after we had been married ten years or so, and I was pretty content. I've come to realize that because I have a mild muscle disease, and my muscles fatigue after a busy day, I was mentally equating this energy loss with low sex drive. It defined the way I thought of myself since I was a kid. A couple of years ago, with serious marital issues, we went down to a two times per weekdays as an average, but still have our Sat morning 'sleep in' most times. My wife is pretty favorable with it anytime. She would never buy for a second that three times per week isn't low.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

We average 2-3 times a week; I am 56 and she is 55 and we have been married for 39 years. We would both like for it to be more often, but work schedules and other responsibilities get in the way. When there is none of that, like our 39th anniversary trip last July, it was every day and some days twice. I sure miss being away together like that!!

I found this funny quote regarding frequency in the book, "The Couple Checkup:"

"The movie Annie Hall depicts two lovers with different perceptions of their sexual relationship. When a therapist asks them (separately) how often they have sex, the character played by Woody Allen answers, 'Hardly ever-maybe three times a week.' The character played by Diane Keaton replies, 'Constantly-three times a week.'"

(David Olson Ph.D.;Amy Olson-Sigg;Peter J. Larson Ph.D.. The Couple Checkup: Find Your Relationship Strengths (p. 109). Kindle Edition.)


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## Upset and confused (Nov 1, 2011)

I have to say I am with you...I have an extraordinary high sex drive. I like it morning and evening each and every day. My husband goes along with this for a few months and then says he needs a break and it ends up being 4 -5 times a week for a few weeks and then back to my routine. We have been married for 7 years now and we are both in are late 50's.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Upset and confused said:


> I have to say I am with you...I have an extraordinary high sex drive. I like it morning and evening each and every day. My husband goes along with this for a few months and then says he needs a break and it ends up being 4 -5 times a week for a few weeks and then back to my routine. We have been married for 7 years now and we are both in are late 50's.


Wow good for you!

With such frequency, how long does a typically round last?


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## aaroncj (Nov 10, 2011)

In recent years, once a week; sometimes twice. Rarely during the week as we are both worn out with jobs, children, etc. I would like 3-4 times a week, and sometimes more, while wife seems happy with once a week. Have been together 28 years, married for 27 and both in early 50s. 

My job has required periods of significant travel and our youngest is still in Jr. High, so with travel, stress, kids, and relationship ups and downs there have also been droughts of a few or even several weeks. 

If I took an average over our marriage, I would say 2-3 times/month.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Intercourse, I would say 3x a week, usually starting off with oral sex without climaxing for me.

Oral sex for me (with no intercourse), I would say 2x a week.

Oral sex for her (to climax), I would say 3x a week (and I'd do it 3x a DAY if she wanted it). About half the time is with working two fingers inside her pressed up against her G-Spot and that both when she has the most intense orgasms and when I feel the most connected to her and turned on).

I take care of myself 3 - 4x a week but try to do so the morning after we have intercourse as intercourse doesn't usually happen on consecutive days and I don't want to affect my performance so I try to time it like this.

Anal sex used to be about once a week but now it is less than once a month, although she would be open to it, I am sure, a couple times a month if I pursued it.

Sex used to be daily or more than once a day but now that we've been together almost 3.5 years, this is where we are at.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

When things were ok 1 or 2 a month closer to 1 with some in between almost sex.

Now... every 4 months 

Future... 2-3 times per month  or divorce :|


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## i-like-tea (Feb 24, 2010)

2-3 times a week


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

once or twice a week if lucky I would do it more, but my husband is suffering with ED and the meds are expensive, and then if we try without it, he feels too much pressure and cant relax because he thinks he cant preform................ug


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

right now, maybe 3-5 times a week? Last week was more, maybe 8-9 times, because I set up a surprise for him Thurs night which turned him on so much we did it twice a day for the next 3 days. This week (Sun to now) has been three times, and I'm sure with tomorrow being a day off for both of us we'll do it at least twice more this week.

Weeks I am on my period, though, it's zero.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

wow.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Every day for 2 years to every 3 weeks without warning.
Now it's zero, and will stay that way until I move out (20 more days!!) 

although he tried very hard to bust a move today (WTH) and I had to physcially push him away and remind him of our recent conversations. We've been civil to each other, and getting along well.
So he took it the wrong way, I think. 

Civil and getting along... because I feel much better, stress is off, and no more brain tugging trying to figure out what to do. have a firm direction. Out the door.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

HMM. it was 3 times a week for about 2 weeks, then it went to once a week. Right now it has been 3 weeks. This has been in the last 2 months. Before that it was every other month. It is driving me absolutely crazy....


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## barbieDoll (Jul 7, 2011)

Twice a month, 3 if I'm lucky.


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## Vanquish (Nov 10, 2011)

I heard a morning DJ in LA say that if you were to put a marble in a jar every time you have sex during your first year of marriage, and then the following years remove a marble, you'll never reach the bottom.

That's how it is for us. First year, most every day. Second year, 2-3 times a week. Past 13 years, twice per month.

Although, something snapped in my wife, in the past month she has wanted it nearly every day! I can hardly keep up.

I would be totally content with 2-3 good sessions per week. Quickies fulfill me, but she needs a lot of time and energy to climax. 

Looks like form this thread, there is no such thing as normal. It just sucks when one wants it more often than the other.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Vanquish said:


> I heard a morning DJ in LA say that if you were to put a marble in a jar every time you have sex during your first year of marriage, and then the following years remove a marble, you'll never reach the bottom.
> 
> That's how it is for us. First year, most every day. Second year, 2-3 times a week. Past 13 years, twice per month.
> 
> ...


i agree it does suck one always seems to want it more then the other.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Partner sex/week 0

Masturbation/week 7-21 depending how busy I am.


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## Upset and confused (Nov 1, 2011)

TallJeff said:


> Wow good for you!
> 
> With such frequency, how long does a typically round last?


probably 1/2 hour to 1 hour


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

On average about 5 times a week. Usually more as we do it a couple times a night.

We both have high libidos and I like that. It was something I loved about him from the beginning as I've been with people with low libidos and it sucked.

Even during our separation we still made love about 4 times a week.

For us, it's equivalent to our 'good night kiss'.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

romantic_guy said:


> I found this funny quote regarding frequency in the book, "The Couple Checkup:"
> 
> "The movie Annie Hall depicts two lovers with different perceptions of their sexual relationship. When a therapist asks them (separately) how often they have sex, the character played by Woody Allen answers, 'Hardly ever-maybe three times a week.' The character played by Diane Keaton replies, 'Constantly-three times a week.'"


LOL... The quote by Woody Allen sounds like my H! 

Our frequency varies quite a bit. Some weeks, it's a handful of times, and others it's at least once. I committed to that once a week deal a few years ago when my libido tanked.


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## atbab (Aug 22, 2011)

Once every 2 months.

I do not want to continue in a passionless marriage. So, working through a number of issues that will hopefully change this to at least weekly.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Lemme put it this way. Stamps cost 29 cents and NAFTA didn't exist.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

On average about twice a week....I'd love it every other night but with kids and fatigue and work it just doesn't happen. i am usually the initiator but I don't get turned down so it doesn't bug me too much!  Some weeks are more often, and there's been a couple of times where it was only once during the week...but always bc of other things going on. We are in our 40's and been together 10 years with 3 kids.


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## Happily Married Guy (Sep 26, 2011)

Sounds like my wife and I need to get going as we seem to be well behind most on this thread. We're in our 40's, have been married 15 years, and we have kids. Earlier in our marriage sex was a regular part of our week, sometimes every day, but as jobs became more stressful, and time alone became more rare it got dialed back considerably. We haven't had any trouble in our marriage and speaking for myself I am still wildly attracted to her and although we don't do it as often I will say the quality of the time we spend together is much better than it was early in our relationship. We communicate more, share fantasies, are more adventerous, it's the best sex I've ever had. If I had to quantify it I would say on average 3 times a month. 

I remember about a year ago my wife bet me we couldn't have sex every day for 2 weeks. This was after I had complained that we weren't having enough sex. I was shocked that it was difficult to do. Not from a lack of desire but actually finding the time, and getting some privacy. It did however increase the amount of sex we were having for the next couple of months which was great. I might try that bet again...


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## Onedery (Sep 22, 2011)

When I was married, the last seven years or so, I was lucky to get it more than twice a month.
Now that I'm single, it's usually about three times a week. But since I'm not interested in a permanent relationship, there's dry spells between "friends".
As far as libido goes, while hooked up with my ex, I thought about it constantly since it was so seldom. She, I guess was scoring perpetually without my knowledge of events.
Now that restrictions are limited to how much effort I'm willing to invest, I am able to concentrate on other needs.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Onedery said:


> When I was married, the last seven years or so, I was lucky to get it more than twice a month.
> Now that I'm single, it's usually about three times a week. But since I'm not interested in a permanent relationship, there's dry spells between "friends".
> 
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

Sometimes once a week maybe longer, since we are tring for kids might get it twice during the week of ovulation. Average comes down to 4x a month or less, she is 26 and im 28, and this is when i try to initate daily, and never gives me oral
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Waited4This said:


> since we are tring for kids might get it twice during the week of ovulation.



Wow, when friends have been trying to conceive it's been every morning & night!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

TallJeff said:


> Wow, when friends have been trying to conceive it's been every morning & night!


Ya. At least every other day so not to 'thin out' the sperm...


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

1-2 times a month, which is better then it was when I first came t this site. We've had several dry spells during our marriage, which stinks. Honestly now, I'd be happy with 1-2 times a week, but I would never put a number on my expectations of my wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Screenp2 (Dec 4, 2011)

Coming to grips with reality sucks.. If I beg and pleed for a few dasy.. every couple months. 

Married 5 together 12


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

Three times a week. But every now and then (eg when he is sick) I get lucky and we only have to do it 2 or 1 time in a week. Unfortunately he doesn't get sick very often.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

HelloooNurse said:


> Three times a week. But every now and then (eg when he is sick) I get lucky and we only have to do it 2 or 1 time in a week. Unfortunately he doesn't get sick very often.


Heaven forbid that you "have to" be intimate with your husband three entire times a week (less than every other day).


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## HaHa (Oct 1, 2010)

We are sexual 5-6 times a week. What I mean by sexual is that there are times that I don’t really feel up to having sex (probably 2-3 times a week), but sex is how my husband feels loved so on those days I offer a hand job or BJ. It takes less time than sex and we both got our way and are happy. I enjoy making him happy so it’s not like it’s really a hard ship.



> ee times a week. But every now and then (eg when he is sick) I get lucky and we only have to do it 2 or 1 time in a week. Unfortunately he doesn't get sick very often.


This makes me sad. I haven’t read your other posts, but hope there are extenuating circumstances that make you feel that way.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I am currently seperated and Husband and I are workin on reconsilation. So we have not done it in over 3 months!!! During the active marriage it was every 3 months for the last year, except if we were on vacation on a cruise, which was last June and that was 3 times during the 7 day cruise. I would have prefered twice a day during the cruise. I am very high sex drive and I have always considered my husband to be low sex drive for many years. Before our marriage really started going down hill it was 3 times per week and I was very happy with that, but never said no if he wanted more.

During this seperation I have come to relize that he was flirting with me every day, but I was turned off by his advances because those advances were not in the bedroom. It was during the day as a flirting during the day. 

Also my husband had said my constantly bickering at him caused him to drift away and not want to initiate. Its only after us being seperated have been able to relize this. Hes living with his parents now and his mom has been on a major ***** fest!! I said was I like that? My husband said yep pretty much. 

My husband also has long drive time to work and long hours and his work has been stressful for many years. So that contributed to low sex drive as well.

So thats my story on husbands low sex drive and I hope it helps others to evulate how thier relationship with husband may be contributing to the sex drive.


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

Married for just over a year, with a 10month old, we are averaging 2-3 times/week... it's ok but every/every other day would be more my speed.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Have to share this, because it makes me so happy I could scream!! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

:yay:We made love on Saturday night and _*twice *_yesterday!!:yay:

We were supposed to go see my mother, but my husband said: "I want to enjoy my sexy wife."


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## monkeyface (Dec 2, 2011)

We average once a week, sometimes 2 but if it's 2 it's usually a quickie because we've gotten some unexpected privacy, like the 16 year old goes to a friends house or something. I like to start by giving him oral as I loooove to do that to him and it turns me on too. He will return the favor for a bit but we like to climax together making love. I will give him oral (to climax) sometimes just for fun, and he will give me oral (to multiple climax) if we have a night alone oooor if he's had too much to drink, if you get my drift.  We've been married 21 years, together 26, in our early 40s with 2 boys ages 16 and 20. I guess men and women peak at different times though. Our libidos used to be reversed, because when the kids were little mine was low and his was high. I'd like it to be more often these days, because now I have a high drive and H has a low one. Boo. But that's ok because I'm a full time student and home many days a week in between classes so I have plenty of time to take care of business


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

going on 4 weeks without now, may not ever happen again at this point. i dont want it


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> Have to share this, because it makes me so happy I could scream!! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:
> 
> :yay:We made love on Saturday night and _*twice *_yesterday!!:yay:
> 
> We were supposed to go see my mother, but my husband said: "I want to enjoy my sexy wife."



woot, what was the occasion!!??


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## Skate Daddy 9 (Sep 19, 2011)

2 to 3 times a month. My wife thought I was exaggerating on how little we did it so I started marking the calender. I would like to have sex 3 to 4 times a week but for some reason my wife does not share my desire. I don't know if her medication kills her sex drive or her low self esteem but what ever it is there does not seem to be anything I can do to make her more interested so I have almost given up trying. We will be married for 20 years in a few months and in the last couple of years I have come to the conclusion that I would rather go to bed then try and only get rejected.


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## ryansdad (Dec 3, 2011)

3-5x a week. Its funny when we were younger, my drive was higher than hers and we had sex 3-5x a week then also. Now that she is 40, her sex drive is on par with mine and its still 3-5x a week/


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## husband1987 (Dec 13, 2011)

Geeze...30, 40, 50, married for years and having it multiple times per week!!! Is that possible???. I'm 24, been married for barely a year. Have sex less than once per month. It has been this way since we got married. She even said she was tired on our honeymoon and we didn't do it for the first two days (that includes our wedding night). Can't even get it when I give her full-body, nude massages. She goes right to sleep.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Usually every day although we missed one day this week because my wife had minor surgery on Monday. Tuesday was a normal night. Married 30 years.


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## husband1987 (Dec 13, 2011)

daffodilly said:


> Is your wife on the pill? I never realized how birth control pills decreased my sex drive until I stopped taking them last year (I'm 40 and was on them most of my 30's and mid 20's). A couple of months after I stopped and BOY everything just woke up!!! Pretty sure now my libido is higher than DH's.


Yes, but she was on it when we first met and we did it multiple times a week. Maybe the excitement of a new relationship overcame the effects. I'm still excited.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

CalifGuy said:


> Intercourse, I would say 3x a week, usually starting off with oral sex without climaxing for me.
> 
> Oral sex for me (with no intercourse), I would say 2x a week.
> 
> ...



this is us, without the husband 'take care of himself'. this will go on for a month sometimes 3 months then we could go up to 2 months without anything at all.

we just talked about this a few weeks ago, and decided we had always been this way, and the going without period seems to go unnoticed until one of us says, hey..sex...oh yeeeaa..sex.

then its go time. even in the month we dont have sex, he will get a bj once or twice a week. like we were hot and heavy this summer, but october nothing...november a few bjs, but its picking back up.

nothing else changes, we still hang out, go shopping, window shop, watch movies, talk till all hours.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

When I was married we would "do" it 4 times a week. We were married almost 8 years and 4 times a week was the minimum of what I wanted, I would of been happy with every day.

Now, my fiance and I are usually about every other day. I would like it more often, but the amount right now is good for both of us.

I have always had a very high libido, and it seems to have been going up the older I get. I am 31 right now.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

We do it 3 times a week, due to hubby's drive. If it were up to me, we would do it once every couple of years. It's not my cup of tea.


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