# Ok to walk around in underwear



## PAmale

I have a 11 year old girl and 12 year old boy. At night when the kids are not around (shared custody arrangement) I would normally hang out in my boxer briefs with no issue. When the kids are around I tend to throw a pair of shorts on also but this is not as comfortable- I am incredibly warm blooded. What are your thoughts on walking around in underwear with kids around?

I do think it is quite natural and don't want the kids to be uncomfortable with their bodies so I tend to keep my shirt off at night regardless. 

Good news is that I am a physically fit 40 year old man so the kids would not be grossed out by some large overweight guy in the house - this even makes me sick thinking of it.

Thoughts?


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## Holland

I have found with my kids that they set the boundaries with things like this, they will tell me if they don't feel comfortable. The day they told me they wanted privacy in the bathroom is the last day I would go in there while either of them were.

Personally I have no probs with parents walking around in underwear but would stop if the kids made it clear they felt uncomfortable.

This is for bio kids, I would have much stricter boundaries for step children.


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## arbitrator

With kids of any age present, I can see no reason to do the underwear thing. What's wrong with wearing a pair of sleep shorts, sleep pants, or even athletic shorts?

Your physique is immaterial here. After all, whose comfort should be placed first here: Yours because of your "hot-blooded" nature, or your kids, out of due respect to them and their feelings?

While the kids may not directly say anything to you about your habit of roaming around the household in underwear, I would think that there's more than a strong probability that they talk to each other about it, more often than not, behind your back!

I'd greatly say that as the adult there, "Respect those kids and place their feelings first!"


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## YinPrincess

Could be awkward at their ages. I do the underwear thing, too. Like you, I am always hot! My child is also an infant of the same gender as me.

Shorts are the way to go! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PAmale

All good advice and why I do not do it today. I keep a fairly conservative position. What I can't control is when they come into the bedroom while we are sleeping but I feel they should understand that is our personal area as I respect their area.

And I agree with the other post that once their bedrooms became personal to them I stopped barging in though I do hold the right to check up in what they do or potentially hide in their bedroom- we have an obligation in my opinion


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## 40isthenew20

I love walking around with no shirt on, but I tend to put one on and shorts over my sleep boxers once I'm up when the kids are there. Even when they were babies, t was just the way I chose to do it.


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## Mavash.

Put shorts on. I was too meek to set that boundary (not that he would have listened anyway) but my dad did that all the time. He was tall, thin, fit and I still didn't want to see him in his underwear while say watching tv. It made me uncomfortable at that age.

That said I have girls and my husband does not walk around in his underwear however if they walk in his bedroom when they KNOW he is changing that's fine. It's also fine if they come in when he's still in bed. That to both of us is different than walking around half naked.


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## unbelievable

I believe I would ask myself how I'd feel about my kids describing my attire to a courtroom, a social worker, or a criminal investigator. In such an arena, I'd rather mine be talking about Dad in his PJs as opposed to Dad (the fit 40 year old, proud of his body type) in a thong. I wouldn't worry about training kids to be comfortable in their bodies. In just a few years, your son will be wearing his britches around the bottom of his butt and your daughter will be going out half naked.


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## WorkingOnMe

I walk around in my underwear in the mornings. My wife always wears a robe at the very least. She usually sleeps in t-shirt and panties but won't leave the bedroom like that if the kids are home. 

We have 3 kids, ages 10-15. All boys. If I had a daughter that age, I would not walk around in my underwear.


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## daisygirl 41

Shorts? Yes
Underwear? No not really!
No need!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964

If you're too warm, turn down the heat. Don't shed your clothes in front of your kids. Shorts, sure. No shirt even. But underwear?? No.

As for when you're in bed, if you want to sleep naked, close the door. They're old enough to be taught to knock before entering if the door's closed.


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## anotherguy

Yep... put some pants on there Dad. 

No need to parade your junk around in your tighty whities. 11 & 12? Dont think they arent examining your for biology information. Or at least - something to snicker about.

Put a shirt on too. Your suede sofa will stay cleaner.


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## rj700

Mine are boys, so W puts on sweats when leaving the bedroom. MIL lives with us, so I have to dress too. But perhaps if I get & wear some bikini underwear, her search for alternative living arrangements might become more immediate. It's worth a try right?


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## wiigirl

daisygirl 41 said:


> Shorts? Yes
> Underwear? No not really!
> No need!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Same. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## southern wife

Oh....the visions....in my head!


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## EnjoliWoman

My Dad came to the breakfast table after his shower in his undershirt and tidy whities when I was a kid - we'd eat our cereal and finish getting ready for school. Never bothered me. I admit the jiggle in the front made me curious about male anatomy. But he never ran around in them - he'd get dressed for work and never lounged around in underwear.


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## VermisciousKnid

OP you say you are a fit 40 year old, but what your 10 and 11 year olds will describe is an ancient guy in his undies. They will think of this as gross. Fitness will not enter in to their descriptions. Wear some shorts.


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## greg54

Sorry, I'm going to have to vote for shorts. If they grew up with you in your undies all the time, they might not care. But if you START now with your daughter as old as she is, I promise she'll be uncomfortable.


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## jaquen

PAmale said:


> Good news is that I am a physically fit 40 year old man so the kids would not be grossed out by some large overweight guy in the house - this even makes me sick thinking of it.
> 
> Thoughts?


Well my father, once a fit, military man, had his last lot of kids older so he was very large, and overweight as we were growing up. 

And he walked around in his underwear, and sometimes shirtless, pot belly and manboobs and all. He didn't seek our opinion on it, and he didn't present a grown man in his underwear as anything to be ashamed about.

Never thought of it as obscene, or scary. That was our normal. Kids know their normal. If they grow up with parents who walk around in the nude, that too will be their normal.

Problems only arise when you try and change things midway through. If they're in middle school and have never seen their dad in his underwear, then sure, it'll seem strange and confusing, and possibly gross, to suddenly see him strutting around in a pair of tighty whiteys.


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## unbelievable

I don't think any kid wants to see dad parading around nearly undressed, regardless of how proud dad is of his body.


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## jaquen

unbelievable said:


> I don't think any kid wants to see dad parading around nearly undressed, regardless of how proud dad is of his body.


That's only relevant if you're not accustomed to it.

When I was a kid my neighbor across the street use to walk around the house in panties and topless, her huge breasts swinging to and fro. I was shocked, because that was something my mom never did. But her husband and two kids were totally unphased. It was their norm. It's no different than kids raised in a nudist community, or in parts of Europe.

The whole idea that the kid would have a problem with it is only valid if the kid wasn't totally accustomed to it. Telling a man to "throw some shorts on" if, within his family, adults walking around in underwear is typical, normal, and natural, is absurd.


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## hipdad

Since I sleep in my underwear, it just seems natural for me to get up and start my day that way as I always have since I was in my teens. My wife and son (12) don't care, and in fact, my son does the same thing as I. Neither one of us takes our clothes off when we get home, but sometimes at night, getting ready for bed, one or both of us may be walking around in our underwear getting that last drink of water or something. I don't see an issue with it. Its not a big deal.


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## askari

Interesting one this......I was brought up in a very 'Victorian' family. I have never seen either of my parents naked, or holding hands or hugging. Nothing. We kiss on birthdays and Christmas thats it.
I am/was very conscious of my body and not showing it. I went to a boarding school where I hated the communal showers. Not that I was any different just that I was a prude.

My wife was brought up in a slightly more liberal family. When we had children we decided that we would not make nudity etc an issue.
We have one girl aged 13 and a 16yr old boy. 
Whilst we don't 'flaunt' ourselves our daughter will walk from her bedroom to the shower naked, likewise our son. If I am having a shower and my daughter walks in I don't cower in the corner!

I think it is very important that that children learn to live with what they have and not to be ashamed of it. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying streak or flash etc all I am saying is that if you are in a communal changing room dont hide in the corner.

The way I was brought up had a negative effect on me. I was the guy hiding and cowering in the corner.

It took a good many years - like 20 - before I felt easy'ish changing infront of others.
We are all the same but slightly different....some very thin, some very hairy (obviously I'm talking about guys here!), some with no hair, some with cut c*cks some not, some with massive c*cks some not, some with a 6 pack some not etc.
We are who we are.

Fortunately neither of our children cower in the corner. Whilst they don't flaunt it neither do they hide.

They are happy with their bodies. Good for them.


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## unbelievable

jaquen said:


> That's only relevant if you're not accustomed to it.
> 
> When I was a kid my neighbor across the street use to walk around the house in panties and topless, her huge breasts swinging to and fro. I was shocked, because that was something my mom never did. But her husband and two kids were totally unphased. It was their norm. It's no different than kids raised in a nudist community, or in parts of Europe.
> 
> The whole idea that the kid would have a problem with it is only valid if the kid wasn't totally accustomed to it. Telling a man to "throw some shorts on" if, within his family, adults walking around in underwear is typical, normal, and natural, is absurd.


That might have been "normal" in that house, but if it were described in a courtroom, her behavior would have sounded an awful lot like incriminating evidence. Cooking meth might seem normal to some folks. Just to keep folks out of trouble, if you ever wonder if something is acceptable to do, imagine a kid talking about it in front of a packed courtroom. Imagine hearing a journalist discussing it on TV. If either would make you cringe, it's probably an activity you shouldn't get into.


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## chillymorn

quit being lazy and put some proper cloths on. how long can it take to put a pair of decent shorts on.


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## Yeswecan

Boxer type underwear are nothing but shorts. What is the difference than these from say a Speedo? A lot. If it bothers anyone or you purchase sweat shorts. I wear sweat pants around my house. Just more comfortable. Easy to go commando.


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## chillymorn

boxer underwear can have a tendency to crack the barn door just enough to get a good look at the stallion.

my father used to walk around all summer in them and It was not good.


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## Mr. Nail

I'm wondering whether to address the legal issues or to go the obvious humorous side. One of my employees had to spend quite a bit of unpleasant time with CPS and a social worker following an industrial accident that involved him being struck in the genitalia by a high speed piece of wood. This was not the problem. The problem was that there was a lot of swelling and that created some curiosity on the part of his sons. This was also not the problem. He decided that it would do no harm to satisfy their curiosity so he showed them the affected part. This was not the problem. The boys, Get this b o y s, Told his ex wife about it. That was the problem. The ex convinced the social worker that these boys would suffer mental trauma and rape fear from seeing adult male genitalia. 

Anyway I think families who have kids who see nudity at home end up better adjusted. But if you are vulnerable better keep everything covered.
MN


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## Fozzy

Some day when you're old, feeble and unable to care for yourself, your kids are going to have to look at it anyway

My kids do set the boundaries in the house though. I was in my own closet, in my own room, changing my shirt the other day. Fully clothed from the waist down. My 3 year old daughter walked in and started shrieking at me that I was WAY too naked.


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## unbelievable

Bowel movements are completely natural and we all have them. That doesn't mean they should be immortalized in bronze or taken to school for Show and Tell.


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## Mr. Nail

unbelievable said:


> Bowel movements are completely natural and we all have them. That doesn't mean they should be immortalized in bronze or taken to school for Show and Tell.


Must have been a reply to my post:lol:


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## askari

intheory said:


> It's good to teach kids that their bodies are natural and there is nothing wrong with them.
> 
> But once kids go through puberty, the issue of sexual privacy definitely becomes an issue as far as their naked body goes.
> 
> It not a matter of being a prude, it's a matter of having appropriate boundaries between family members.
> 
> I'm sure you mean well, askari, I would just hate to see this cause problems for your family in any way.


InTheory - I can understand where you are coming from. Both my son and daughter are well into puberty.
Its certainly not as if they/we 'flaunt' our bodies or amble round the house stark naked....its more a question of bedroom to shower (20ft).

I just don't want either of them to be as self conscious as I was/am.

I, no doubt like alot of people on here have been in situations - as adults - when a group of friends have gone 'skinny dipping'....or hopped into a hot tub naked. 
Absolutely no sexual undertones etc. I have never been able to do that because I am so shy and inhibited.

Just don't want me children to be like it!


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## jaquen

unbelievable said:


> That might have been "normal" in that house, but if it were described in a courtroom, her behavior would have sounded an awful lot like incriminating evidence. Cooking meth might seem normal to some folks. Just to keep folks out of trouble, if you ever wonder if something is acceptable to do, imagine a kid talking about it in front of a packed courtroom. Imagine hearing a journalist discussing it on TV. If either would make you cringe, it's probably an activity you shouldn't get into.



There are scores of millions of kids who live in indigenous populations where all the adults have uncovered breasts, asses and penises. That is their norm.

It's not uncommon in several European nations for a family to go a beach and the women in the family to go topless. Or for the whole family to go to a local sauna and everyone is nude. That is their norm.

What of children raised in nudist communities?

Cooking meth has nothing to do with nudity. It's so typically American to make that kind of comparison, as if our own cultural hang ups about the human body are universal, or comparable to hideous crime.

People all over the world have different norms and standards that would seem egregious in a "packed courtroom". In the same way that Americans and others from the west have norms that could get you imprisoned or even killed elsewhere.

So who is right and who is wrong?


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## SimplyAmorous

Personal said:


> Since my wife (after she started dating me) and I almost always sleep naked, we tend to head to the shower naked as well (we do miss having an ensuite).
> 
> Aside from going to the shower naked and coming from the shower wearing a towel on the way to our bedroom, my wife and I otherwise don't display ourselves and likewise don't make a big deal of it if we happen to be seen naked.
> 
> *The kids are also very used to the fact that their parents shower together regularly and likewise will shut our bedroom door anytime day or night to have sex with each other.
> 
> Funnily enough, neither of us ever walk around (except behind closed doors) just wearing underwear.*


 We are the same way... I probably wouldn't think it a big deal if DAD wore Boxers on occasion walking down stairs in a moment or something-to grab a snack for instance ... it would be HIM that was more conservative over me- he wouldn't do it....

Unrelated but I thought it was funny... last night when he was walking up the stairs...there was a viagra commercial on the Tv...and he heard our daughter say "the next time that commercial comes on, I am plugging my ears"....


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## askari

jaquen said:


> There are scores of millions of kids who live in indigenous populations where all the adults have uncovered breasts, asses and penises. That is their norm.
> 
> It's not uncommon in several European nations for a family to go a beach and the women in the family to go topless. Or for the whole family to go to a local sauna and everyone is nude. That is their norm.
> 
> What of children raised in nudist communities?
> 
> Cooking meth has nothing to do with nudity. It's so typically American to make that kind of comparison, as if our own cultural hang ups about the human body are universal, or comparable to hideous crime.
> 
> People all over the world have different norms and standards that would seem egregious in a "packed courtroom". In the same way that Americans and others from the west have norms that could get you imprisoned or even killed elsewhere.
> 
> *So who is right and who is wrong?[/*QUOTE]
> 
> 
> Jaquen - You have hit the nail on the head.
> No one is right or wrong. We are all different.
> 
> As you mentioned, there are nations - Norway, Finland, Scandinavia spring to mind where families are far more open than others....swimming together naked in lakes, naked in the sauna together.
> There are advantages too....my younger brother (who is young, free and single!) stayed with us over Christmas for a week. We all went swimming (in trunks!)...our daughter noticed a small black 'patch' on her uncles back. Thank goodness she mentioned something....turned out to be skin cancer. he has just had it all removed - fortunately it was in its VERY early stages so doctors are 95% sure they got it all. He has to have 3month check ups.
> 
> My children often go to beaches where it is the norm for women to go topless...my children are not phased by it atall. Perhaps thats because we have brought them up in a relatively 'open' environment?.....


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## Kurious

My father would always walk around in his ****** tighties. It definitely made me uncomfortable and i'm sure it did to my other 3 siblings as well. He would also sit on the couch with his hand in his ****** tighties obviously touching his you know what and that bothered me more.


However, I think boxers are fine. Anything tight that shows the junk however, I find in bad taste around children. Just from personal experience.


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## jaquen

askari said:


> Jaquen - You have hit the nail on the head.
> No one is right or wrong. We are all different.
> 
> As you mentioned, there are nations - Norway, Finland, Scandinavia spring to mind where families are far more open than others....swimming together naked in lakes, naked in the sauna together.
> There are advantages too....my younger brother (who is young, free and single!) stayed with us over Christmas for a week. We all went swimming (in trunks!)...our daughter noticed a small black 'patch' on her uncles back. Thank goodness she mentioned something....turned out to be skin cancer. he has just had it all removed - fortunately it was in its VERY early stages so doctors are 95% sure they got it all. He has to have 3month check ups.
> 
> My children often go to beaches where it is the norm for women to go topless...my children are not phased by it atall. Perhaps thats because we have brought them up in a relatively 'open' environment?.....


I just get so weary of people confusing their cultural or social norms as the entire planet's cultural or social norms.

Hell your cultura/social norms might not even be your direct neighbors'.

My POV? As long as nobody is being violated or harmed, it's none of your own business what other families do.


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## sunhunter

I'm from Europe. And our vision is a bit different 
My children consider it very normal when we walk around in underwear. It’s the same as if we would walk around in swimwear. They know what we look like … even naked. 
There's no lock on the bathroom door, you just use it when you want. When my daughters (6 and 9) are talking a bath, me (or my wife) take a shower at the same time. We see each other naked. So what, that's no big deal. We learn them that a body is something normal and natural. You don't have to make a fuzz about it. 
When you're always hiding something as natural as a human body, you teach your children to be ashamed of their body and you cultivate body issues.
The same thing applies to the American phobia of female nipples. Every man and woman has nipples. There is no reason to start acting weird when a woman’s nipples show through a blouse. It’s not tacky … it’s just a normal body part.


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## askari

jaquen said:


> I just get so weary of people confusing their cultural or social norms as the entire planet's cultural or social norms.
> 
> Hell your cultura/social norms might not even be your direct neighbors'.
> 
> My POV? As long as nobody is being violated or harmed, it's none of your own business what other families do.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I agree. Totally


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