# Best strategy for reconciliation?



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

What would be the best strategy for reconciliation. My wife has filed for divore which will be final in about 8 weeks. There are no big reasons like cheating, etc, but a lot of other things like I don't make her feel special, so she doesn't love me anymore. We came to an agreement with the division very easily, and things are civil between us. Considering there might be a glimer of hope, what would be the best strategy? I assume nagging her all the time trying to convince her that i will changem and that I still love her would possibly drive her farther away. Would just being nice and perhaps mentioning it again as the time grows closer be best? I have heard of people actually deciding to give it another shot on their court date.


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## Shar0001 (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi, I am sorry to hear you are going through this too. I am out of my family home 100 days and hoping for a chance of reconciliation as well. My husband is unsure as to whether we are ready for me to move back, and frankly makes me feel like a needy criminal if I pine to come home, and accuses me of "pulling away" and not trying if I get a hold of my feelings and at least make the appearance of trying to handle the transition. I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes it is hard to figure out what the other person wants when so much hurt has led to separation. (want to add, there was no infidelity, etc. in our situation as well)
Good luck, and hold onto hope, or clarity to come to your heart.


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

There is no best strategy. Unfortunately you can select what you will do and hope for the best. That is all you can do. It sucks but thats the limit to whatever strategy that is used.

I have chosen to act as if my wife never left. I'll treat her with the same respect and love. I'll let her know that I love her and hope for reconciliation. 

If the only option is divorce, i will not change my stance. I think our relationship deserves some work.


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

IF I wasn't fighting against a brick wall I would no doubt be fighting to get him back....Marriage is worth fighting for, when you love each other and when there has been no infidelity or cheating or abuse of any sort... when its a simple break up I would hope there is hope to fight for it. I wish I could fight and get my H to see that we had it good, and that WE are worth fighting for....


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