# Should men be reviewed like restauraunts?



## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

A couple of weeks back I came across this opinion piece about a site that lets women rate and review men they go out on dates with. Extra points can even be awarded for a strong sex drive. 

At first it gave me a chuckle but the more I thought about it something about it doesn't sit right with me. There are a lot of men that really wouldn't care if a women they dated said harsh things about them. But there are other men that would be really hurt by it.

Thinking of myself if I were single now and got bashed on a site like Lulu I really wouldn't care. But if I were young and inexperienced I probably would care a lot.

I should warn you, the author of the piece spent quite a bit of time as a tabloid reporter. He comes across as really jaded in the opening. I'm more focused on the site Lulu itself and the potential damage it could do to men that get poor reviews.

My question to the men is do you think the site Lulu is fair? If you were single would it bother you if you were profiled and your reviews weren't exactly glowing?

Should men be reviewed like restaurants? | Fox News


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

All I have to do is flip the script to make a call on this one.

Did some research prior to posting my response. I presumed this app must be an answer for a similar app where men rate women. But no ... there is no such app, nor should there be.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Written by a woman ...

Why We Should All Be Scared Of Lulu App - Forbes


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It would be pretty cool is there was a counter app, and in order to post a review, the woman would have to provide a valid email address for the guy, and the guy would have to do the old click this link to verify thing, just to make sure it really was him. Then it would take the guy to the site to leave a review of the woman...


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> A couple of weeks back I came across this opinion piece about a site that lets women rate and review men they go out on dates with. Extra points can even be awarded for a strong sex drive.
> 
> At first it gave me a chuckle but the more I thought about it something about it doesn't sit right with me. There are a lot of men that really wouldn't care if a women they dated said harsh things about them. But there are other men that would be really hurt by it.
> 
> ...



The reality is , men have always been" soft targets " for women so inclined, just like women have always been targets for men so inclined.

That's the point I tried to raise incessantly in my last thread about sexual objectification and society.

Men were always objectified in this manner, and Lulu is just a continuation made possible by technology and fundamental shifts in gender roles in society.
It is just that it is done in a different way that makes it less discernible , and men are cultured from boyhood to just
" take it like a man."

The original idea for Facebook was a male version of Lulu where men would rate women and trash talk them. It was started when Mark Zuckerberg was at Harvard and got umped by his girlfriend, according to the story.

Way back when I was single and in college, before Facebook , Lulu , Twitter or even the internet, girls I knew rated guys by the type of cars they drove , and the type of clothes and shoes they wore. But they also compared notes on his skill in bed and rumors spread.

Now we have the high speed 4G_ ultra-broadband_ internet , gorilla glass , android devices ,free speech and so anything goes.
Men are still the usual suspects and soft targets for women so inclined. The flip side of female slvt shaming is a man being branded a misogynist or rapist simply because he disagrees with a female point of view .
In a society where there is heightened awareness against gender based violence against women, any man so tarred and feathered , risks ostracism in his professional field simply because he disagrees with a certain point of view , or refuses to tow the politically correct line.

So whether it Lulu and Facebook today or the tabloids and the 
" brotherhood " / " sisterhood" of yesteryear , sadly the sexes have always been at each other's throat in some form or fashion.

It is just that men are now opening their eyes and recognizing exactly how it affects _them_.

Of course it shouldn't be happening , but that too, is part of the human condition.

Doesn't bother me though, long before internet chat rooms, Facebook and Lulu , I've learned how to validate myself through my own eyes first.
And that is what matters to me.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

You know what? I'm glad I make an extra twenty cents per hour and rarely have a line to pee.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I think such a site is garbage, and I'm a woman in case you didn't know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Deejo said:


> Written by a woman ...
> 
> Why We Should All Be Scared Of Lulu App - Forbes


She captures the reasons to be offended by it very well. I was concerned the author's message in the article I posted would get lost in his rant against tabloid journalism and those that consume it.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> Way back when I was single and in college, before Facebook , Lulu , Twitter or even the internet, girls I knew rated guys by the type of cars they drove , and the type of clothes and shoes they wore. _But they also compared notes on his skill in bed and rumors spread._


One of the things I always found odd is that all of the guys that were rumored to be bad in bed weren't really affected by it. So long as they were good looking or had high social standing. They still had plenty of willing partners. A bit of head scratcher for me. Especially if its a ONS. Shouldn't women prefer someone who had a better rep in the sack?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> One of the things I always found odd is that all of the guys that were rumored to be bad in bed weren't really affected by it. So long as they were good looking or had high social standing. They still had plenty of willing partners. A bit of head scratcher for me. Especially if its a ONS. Shouldn't women prefer someone who had a better rep in the sack?



This is because women are inherently competitive with and don't trust other women. They feel like if he's bad in bed it must be because he hasn't found the right woman, which of course will be her. .She will succeed where other women have failed...it's a fairy tale/ego thing (barf).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> This is because women are inherently competitive with and don't trust other women. They feel like if he's bad in bed it must be because he hasn't found the right woman, which of course will be her. .She will succeed where other women have failed...it's a fairy tale/ego thing (barf).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Jacking my own thread here but perhaps its because they view it as a notch in their belt just like men do. Even if the guy is a terrible lay if everyone else wants him there must be status associated with that. Its probably just as cool for the ladies to say to one another "I hit that".


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> Jacking my own thread here but perhaps its because they view it as a notch in their belt just like men do. Even if the guy is a terrible lay if everyone else wants him there must be status associated with that. Its probably just as cool for the ladies to say to one another "I hit that".


I think there is some truth to this, but that makes me wonder why then, some women get so pissy if another woman wears an identical dress to the same party...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> I think there is some truth to this, but that makes me wonder why then, some women get so pissy if another woman wears an identical dress to the same party...



Nah, we only get pissy if the other woman looks better than us in it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

How long before a woman reviewing app would be outright banned?


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> How long before a woman reviewing app would be outright banned?


It would be 'creating a hostile life environment'. Whereas an app rating and warning about men is 'just simple common sense and protection for vulnerable women who don't want to waste their time or endanger themselves with sub par men."


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

No! This is so middle school. An adolescent approach to ranking people.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> How long before a woman reviewing app would be outright banned?


That's an interesting thought. Putting on my neanderthal brain I'd think that an app for men would have a lot of "locker room" talk about the ladies. I know its a double standard but I don't think women would accept this. I'd be willing to bet some sort of legal action would be taken at some point.

Truth be told if Lulu was all about outing creeps or psycho dates I'd be fine with it. But the focus appears to be other more shallow attributes.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

I can imagine the feminist outrage at an app for men to rate women.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just turns out that me and my restaurant/bar are intertwined, we seems to be reviewed based on success combined... HA! So I guess SEO and BD means = higher game? :scratchhead:

God this city is a fking laugh! Men are reviewed by $$$, not that I'm fking complaining nowadays lol


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> Jacking my own thread here but perhaps its because they view it as a notch in their belt just like men do. Even if the guy is a terrible lay if everyone else wants him there must be status associated with that. Its probably just as cool for the ladies to say to one another "I hit that".


I don't really think so. I don't know any women who would think this way.... "I hit that" means you slept with him, right? And that he's now with someone else? Nothing to brag about.... Just my opinion... Not trying to threadjack the threadjack!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Not for me - I like to make up my own mind thanks, I don't care what anyone else's opinion might be, either in bed or out of it


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Dollystanford said:


> Not for me - I like to make up my own mind thanks, I don't care what anyone else's opinion might be, either in bed or out of it


And that's exactly how it should be. There are so many examples of folks who are labeled the spouse from hell by their exes, yet they are a perfect match for their new spouse. That's why I think an app like Lulu is pointless. We all have our "type". So what someone else says is pretty much irrelevant.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*To answer this topic question as pointedly and succinctly as I possibly can:

Only if men could rate women by the same basic criteria ~ after all, what goes around comes around!
*

*"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."* *Matthew 7:1-3(NIV)*


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

We could tag their ears like livestock and auction them off.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I thank God that I am an older man in a stable and mostly happy marriage as I do not think I could cope with all the fuss and drama associated with the modern dating scene.

Why all this pressure on everybody to jump in to bed and perform like some sort of porn star, what on earth was wrong with meeting people (in person), getting to know them as a friend, enjoying some time in which to get to know if you are compatible before committing to a LTR and having sex.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

What a revolting concept. I would not even click on a link to a site like that let alone read it.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Male strippers are not the same sort of thing as female strippers. They are there as much ot give women a giggle and at men. This App is the same and an equivalent for men would be a little too serious.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Re: Should men be reviewed like restauraunts?*



Wiltshireman said:


> I thank God that I am an older man in a stable and mostly happy marriage as I do not think I could cope with all the fuss and drama associated with the modern dating scene.
> 
> Why all this pressure on everybody to jump in to bed and perform like some sort of porn star, what on earth was wrong with meeting people (in person), getting to know them as a friend, enjoying some time in which to get to know if you are compatible before committing to a LTR and having sex.


That is soooo 20th century.

It's far too slow and I need to keep my social network updated on how vibrant and exciting my life is, you know, like when I get coffee.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> I thank God that I am an older man in a stable and mostly happy marriage as I do not think I could cope with all the fuss and drama associated with the modern dating scene.
> 
> Why all this pressure on everybody to jump in to bed and perform like some sort of porn star, what on earth was wrong with meeting people (in person), getting to know them as a friend, enjoying some time in which to get to know if you are compatible before committing to a LTR and having sex.


:iagree:

It makes relationships shallow and meaningless. I can't imagine _thinking_ that way, let alone behaving like that:scratchhead:


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Re: Should men be reviewed like restauraunts?*



Cosmos said:


> :iagree:
> 
> It makes relationships shallow and meaningless. I can't imagine _thinking_ that way, let alone behaving like that:scratchhead:


I'm 48. And rather than railing against the fuss and drama, I embraced it. Only to find out there neednt be much fuss and drama at all.

Older and post marriage, I know what I want, and importantly what I dont want.

I have a very close female friend that has on occasion felt compelled to criticize my lifestyle. She sees my dating numerous women and having had relationships that became intimate, but weren't long term, as failures and a waste of time.

Her rationale was, "Obviously they werent the right person because it didn't last. "

I told her that by that simple criteria, all of our relationships, marriages included had been failures then.

I don't see relationships as being that binary.

As for being older and dating, we just dont have time for the slow hand at love thing anymore. I certainly dont. My time is limited and precious. I dont value someone who wants to take six months getting to kmow one another any more than I do someone who is ready to be intimate after the 3rd date.

Its about assuring that our needs are met, regardless of the length of the relationship. 


On the Lulu thing, it was just a matter of time. We live in a world of 'Likes' and personal reviews. 

I don't think it will hold up.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

The comedian once wrote something similar about divorcing after eleven years of marriage. He wrote that you finding that the watch is broken after eleven years would not cause you to get angry and which you had never wasted time on it, instead you are grateful for the time you had.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> I thank God that I am an older man in a stable and mostly happy marriage as I do not think I could cope with all the fuss and drama associated with the modern dating scene.
> 
> *Why all this pressure on everybody to jump in to bed and perform like some sort of porn star, what on earth was wrong with meeting people (in person), getting to know them as a friend, enjoying some time in which to get to know if you are compatible before committing to a LTR and having sex.
> *


:iagree:

I am thankful too,that I'm in a very fulfilling marriage , and pray that it remains that way.
I find the dating scene today to be scary and far removed from long ago where people met in person, exchanged stuff like ideas , phone numbers , smiles and pleasant memories before jumping into bed.
Not that I haven't had some quick one in the past , but the majority of those relationships , even the short ones actually had good time and memories. Some I chose not to remember, some I do. 
IMO, technology instead of making things on the dating frontline better . seems to have made it worse. Maybe it's just a matter of perspective, and an old dinosaur like me might never really
" get it."


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I am thankful too,that I'm in a very fulfilling marriage , and pray that it remains that way.
> I find the dating scene today to be scary and far removed from long ago where people met in person, exchanged stuff like ideas , phone numbers , smiles and pleasant memories before jumping into bed.
> ...


Everyone believes they can get the world to revolve around them, lol. And using these technologies and new relationship rules, side chicks, side dudes, friends with benefits, etc they are doing it.

They are missing out on the fun of building a fire with your lover that you can keep growing and broadening, thinking that it doesn't exist, and that it's not maintainable because "we all cheat".


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

That has to be some sort of violation of privacy or a form of slander if the person being rated isn't giving their permission. The whole thing is cruel and unfair. 
Makes me want to do this...


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## ohsh...t (Feb 23, 2014)

ReformedHubby said:


> A couple of weeks back I came across this opinion piece about a site that lets women rate and review men they go out on dates with. Extra points can even be awarded for a strong sex drive.
> 
> At first it gave me a chuckle but the more I thought about it something about it doesn't sit right with me. There are a lot of men that really wouldn't care if a women they dated said harsh things about them. But there are other men that would be really hurt by it.
> 
> ...


So sad that this is the present state of affairs in the USA where I enjoyed 4 years, Canada , the UK etc. Men have been stripped of all power by a feminist fascist double standard ideology but its a standardized, bastardized almost fast food chain franchised ideology, legal system etc . Look at that poor sucker John Cleese and what California has done to the poor bastard. 
I am not saying Lebanon where i was born or West Africa were I spent my childhood are perfect or Colombia where I lived. They take the opposite extreme on the whole. Where is the place with equality and freedom and fairness for all that is not a dating war zone. Because believe you me women that take these views will be the first ones to get OM, have affairs and want D.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

ohsh...t said:


> So sad that this is the present state of affairs in the USA where I enjoyed 4 years, Canada , the UK etc. Men have been stripped of all power by a feminist fascist double standard ideology but its a standardized, bastardized almost fast food chain franchised ideology, legal system etc . Look at that poor sucker John Cleese and what California has done to the poor bastard.
> I am not saying Lebanon where i was born or West Africa were I spent my childhood are perfect or Colombia where I lived. They take the opposite extreme on the whole. Where is the place with equality and freedom and fairness for all that is not a dating war zone. Because believe you me women that take these views will be the first ones to get OM, have affairs and want D.


There are good and bad everywhere. Frankly, it is good that divorce is no longer a terrible threat for women.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Mr The Other said:


> Male strippers are not the same sort of thing as female strippers. They are there as much ot give women a giggle and at men. This App is the same and an equivalent for men would be a little too serious.


I can't give it a free pass. It's too mean spirited. What ever happened to talking about a date from hell with just your closest friends? No need to publicly shame someone. That guy that takes a girl to Applebees and uses a coupon might end up being the man of someone's dreams.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> I can't give it a free pass. It's too mean spirited. What ever happened to talking about a date from hell with just your closest friends? No need to publicly shame someone. That guy that takes a girl to Applebees and uses a coupon might end up being the man of someone's dreams.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree:


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> I can't give it a free pass. It's too mean spirited. What ever happened to talking about a date from hell with just your closest friends? No need to publicly shame someone. That guy that takes a girl to Applebees and uses a coupon might end up being the man of someone's dreams.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




I would actually get in trouble if I forgot the coupon...


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Don't find it a big deal. In my profession there are a collection of sites like rate your professor that provide opportunities for disgruntled to say what they wish. The opinions stated are just that, personal opinions. If a woman reading a rating from someone other woman, and does not do so with a discriminating view, who would care? I would not, but then again I don't have as many insecurities.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Deejo said:


> All I have to do is flip the script to make a call on this one.
> 
> Did some research prior to posting my response. I presumed this app must be an answer for a similar app where men rate women. But no ... there is no such app, nor should there be.


Oh, but there is:. Playbook

A brief write-up: Playbook — 10 Apps That Will Help You Get Your Creep On | Complex

Isn't all of this just locker room talk taken online?

Just a bit more disrespectful because the conversations are publicized?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

always_alone said:


> Oh, but there is:. Playbook
> 
> A brief write-up: Playbook — 10 Apps That Will Help You Get Your Creep On | Complex
> 
> ...


Whew ... now I feel better about the whole thing.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

Do the men have to agree to be part of the site? Otherwise isn't there a case for libel or slander? And there has to be some kind of privacy issue as well. 
I don't think there's any good to be found in a site like this. It's like rounding up a man's exes and asking for their opinions of him before you go out. Just really tasteless.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Oldfaithful said:


> Do the men have to agree to be part of the site? Otherwise isn't there a case for libel or slander? And there has to be some kind of privacy issue as well.
> I don't think there's any good to be found in a site like this. It's like rounding up a man's exes and asking for their opinions of him before you go out. Just really tasteless.


Nope, the men don't have to agree. That's why its so wrong in my opinion. I don't think this site would damage all men. But, I think we all know more than one guy that never got over the awkward feelings associated with trying to find himself a "gal". For men like this a negative review would really hurt them.

Also. Could you imagine being a sexually inexperienced guy and find a bad review about yourself? It would be devastating.


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## Oldfaithful (Nov 27, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> Nope, the men don't have to agree. That's why its so wrong in my opinion. I don't think this site would damage all men. But, I think we all know more than one guy that never got over the awkward feelings associated with trying to find himself a "gal". For men like this a negative review would really hurt them.
> 
> 
> 
> Also. Could you imagine being a sexually inexperienced guy and find a bad review about yourself? It would be devastating.



The site claims that the men have to sign up but how do they verify their identity? Honestly I would guess any guy who volunteers for that is a douche anyway.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Womans version of Revenge Porn.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Welp, this is cyber bullying in the making..


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