# things just got a little worse!



## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

things just seem to go from bad to worse!

as i sed in an earlyer post i woz going to try talking to my hubby again when he got home from work!
well he didnt cum home from work at five or six as time whent by i started to get a little worried so i bathed my son got him ready for bed by half six there was still no sign of him 
i tried his mobile again and again it was swiched off!

at around 7 pm my mobile rang with a number i didnt reconise
it was the local a & e my hubby had been admitted could i come right away they wouldnt tell me what was wrong so in a panic i left my son with a friend and shot up there like my butt was on fire
when i got there i was greeted by a doctor i thourght he was going to tell me jimmy was dead!

but instead he told me hed overdosed and tried to commit suicide and they where refering him for pshyciatric analasis and treatment they then let me see him
he woz just laid there and wouldnt even acknolage me i treid asking him why i tried telling him how worried i was and how i would love and surpport him threw what ever it is thats troubleing him and he just looked right threew me as if i wasnt there
this has cut me up inside the doctors say they will make him better and help where they can but the wont let him come home until hes fully better and not wanting to kill himself any more i have no idear wohat iam am going to do every thing just seems to be crashing down around me i feel at a complete and utter loss my stong reliable husband has been reduced to suicide and no one other than him knows why and now hes gone into shut down mode
am sorry this post is so long but i have nobody else to talk to my friend said she would keep my son till the morning but i said no i cant bear the thourght of him been there while iam here alone with out my hubby or my son i just dont know what iam going to do i dont feel stong enough to cope with this?
what if he tries to do it again and is sucsess full and i end up losing him i dont think i could cope 
sorry for rattleing on i just dont know who else i can talk to i just feel at a loss

sorry again thanks


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

You can and MUST cope. Not only for you but for your son. Giving in is the easy thing to do. Facing the issues and being strong enough not only for him but your son that needs to see you be strong. You have three lives that of your personal self, wife and mother. On two ends you need to perfectly hold it together. As a wife you can only be there when needed. You are not his base but an extension of the marriage. You can help when and if he is ready for it. But I see you as a strong person looking for more strength otherwise why post this?

Hang tough.

draconis


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I'm sure your mind is racing a mile a minute at this point, but do your best to stay strong for your husband and son. I am so glad he was able to get to a hospital and is in the good care of doctors. Try not to focus on 'what if he does it again'. As the doctors have already said, they will not release him until he is physically and psychologically stable. This is where he needs to be right now. It is unfortunate that did not seek help before getting to this point but it's certainly not a hopeless situation. He can start the healing process now and work through this depression.

I'm sure it's horrible to sit and wait not knowing what happens next but try to make a list of things that you need to take care of in the upcoming days (contacting his work/family/etc) and get support/help from friends if you can (to watch your son so you can visit him, etc.)

Please keep us posted on how things are going and as Draconis said, stay strong.

I will pray for you all.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I will keep you and him in my prayers tonight as well.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

thank you for your kind words they mean alot.

well i didnt sleep much last night i woz just laid stareing at the celing! i have rang the hospital to see ow he is this morning and they just sed he the same sat looking threw every body he's refusing to talk i will go see him later on this afternoon
i will keep you poasted thank you again 
x


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

We can only hope that his stay in the hospital not only is helpful to him but through the psychologist helps him to communicate better with everyone including you.

I think in the long run your support and help will be the deciding factor. Remember people choice their own paths even if they are connected to us. His choice to do what he did was for his own reasons and are not a reflection of you. I know you are going through a very rough time. I have you in my prayers right now, and I want you to know that your strength and love for him shows.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

ok so an update on my hubby!

well todays visit was awful but productive acordding to the doctors??
he spoke to me well when i said spoke he cried and cried and cried witch made me cry all he kept saying was sorry and he wanted to come home witch made it really hard for me to walk out and leave him there.
it was really hard to visit him today because he once was my stong handsom loving hubby has been reduced to a quivering wreak! its hard to see him looking so small
but at least hes saying somthing now!
my son keeps asking were his daddy is and i dont know wot to say except he will be home soon daddys poorly but how do you explain to a two year old that his daddy has had a nervous break down he dosnt understand poor jake he just looks at me blankly then crys for his daddy again and its only been two days!
o well tommorow is another day


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Keep with it, your husband know knows what he did affected you and your son. I will continue to pray for him to get well. I will include you too, as you have taken a great burden on your shoulders. I wish you the best.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

draconis said:


> Keep with it, your husband know knows what he did affected you and your son. I will continue to pray for him to get well. I will include you too, as you have taken a great burden on your shoulders. I wish you the best.
> 
> draconis



thank you 
i think its you lots posative words thats stopping me form cracking up thank you

ive phoned the hospital this morning and they say hes perking up a little?
but theve put him on some medication so is it that thats makeing him feel perkier not himself?
this is the only thing iam worried about if he on t ese meds now while hes in the hospital and he picks up and they let him home will he stop taking them when he gets home?


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

loobylou22 said:


> thank you
> i think its you lots posative words thats stopping me form cracking up thank you
> 
> ive phoned the hospital this morning and they say hes perking up a little?
> ...


SOmething like that is always a concern, however he is getting a lot of sound advice too. I am sure that the psychologist is working for the long term goals including taking care of himself and opening up more.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

thank you draconisyou are makeing this hard time just that little bit easyer and thank you to everybody else too


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## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

Damn, my heart goes out to you. I know that what you are going through is horrible right now, but maybe good will come out of it. He's where he needs to be getting help. Just tell your son that daddy's away at work and will be home soon. Just keep on reiterating that daddy WILL be home soon. I have a two year old daughter and my husband had to travel for business and was gone for a week and she had a bit of a time adjusting. She was actually quite mean to me and acted out after day 3 or 4, but then she adjusted. 

Is there any way that he could talk to your son on the phone for a few minutes or make a recording for the child to hear so that he knows that daddy's still there?

About the meds, if they can get him set on a good path before he gets out then hopefully he will continue it with the least amount of problems. He has hit rock bottom and now he can begin anew.

I have had two nervous breakdowns in my life. One when I was thirteen. I was sexually abused when I was younger than that and it screwed me up pretty good until I had that breakdown. I faced my demons and became a much stronger person after that. 

The second time was when my first husband and I were getting divorced. We were together for nine years since I was fifteen and he was sixteen. I was losing my best friend, the boy I had grown up with, it was just too much to bear. No one knew me the way that he did and he had been abusive to me and had a drug problem. I left him when our daughter was two months old. I was breaking down to the point of becoming catatonic. I have always had a problem with that. I suppress my emotions and then I end up "shutting off". I have never tried to commit suicide, but I did seek help. I tried medications and I am the kind of person that does not even like to take Tylenol so I had to really work on "me" without the meds. It sounds like he felt more hopeless than I have and he may truly need the meds to get him out of this funk and get him thinking straight again. There is nothing wrong with needing meds. I have tried to get my husband to go to counseling and maybe try a med or two because I think that he has a problem with depression. He shows clinical signs.

Keep on being strong. It sounds that you are two very well so far. You will be proud of yourself for getting through this.


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

thank you

just a quick update
i phoned the hospital again this morning when we got up
or should i say son!! its a case of he's up all up !

my hubby had a much better night he slept and seems to be claming down witch is good apparantly he was asking for me again this morning so am going visiting later on this afternoon
x


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Hi loobylou,

I'm glad to hear he is improving. I think the medication is necessary right now just to get him sleeping/talking again, but it's a good point and probably something to discuss with the doctors once he levels off again to see whether they think medication is necessary going forward or if there are other ways that might work for him.

I agree with what you've told your son (daddy's not well but will be home soon) as he is way to young to understand any of this.

I'm sure it's very difficult to see your husband this way but him knowing you are there for him regardless will give him the strength to try and pull himself out of it. 

I hope you are holding up ok.


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

yes thanx am holding up sort of okish!

am just taking each day as it comes 
its very hard seeing him look so tiny? witch is odd coz hes a big fella muscley tall you get my meaning

but hes getting there this afternoons visit was ok he just kept asking to come home that's about the extent of our conversation!
and if i say not yet wait a while longer get better he just ask's why?
its like talking to our son at the min but am sure we will get threw this just take each day as it comes and see what happens next i spose these things are sent to try us!


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## honey28 (Aug 1, 2008)

i've been there and i'm so sorry you have to go through this. it hurt me so much to see my husband in his weakness and to know of the legacy he would be creating for my children to have a parent that committed suicide. all i can tell you is to pray, things do get better. hopefully he will realize that no matter what the problems are in his life, life is still worth living. i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

loobylou22 said:


> yes thanx am holding up sort of okish!
> 
> am just taking each day as it comes
> its very hard seeing him look so tiny? witch is odd coz hes a big fella muscley tall you get my meaning
> ...


The fact that he is ready to, and wants to come home is a good sign. I will keep praying for you.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

hi
its been a few days so i shall fill you in!
my hubby is doing loads better he came home for two days to test the water!!! like a weekend visit in the middle of the week! he was fantastic! he woz just like his old self again sort of!
he had his moments but other than that he was fine! we even had sex for the first time in months it woz so nice we did lots of nice things like we would do any ways if he was off work same old routine took dog to the park went to feed ducks to our son to pirates cove (a big kids indoor play area)
watched a dvd it was nice sad to see him go back to the hospital tho but they asked me to write down everything and they said that if things carry on the way it is then he will be able to come home very soon i cant wait i just want him home

thank you for all your kind words and surport over the past couple of weeks


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Well you wanted your old husband back, I think not only will you get that but to know that you and the doctors are the reason for his turn around. 

I continue my praying for you both.

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

ola!

just a quick update my hubby is now home but has to check in with the hospital every day to make sure he is taking his medication and looking after himself and not thinking of doing any thing silly again but so far so good he is been his usual self again i just hope its for good i dont think i could go threw with all this again but all is well at the moment he has his moments but every thing seems to be going ok! we've all gone threw some changes the last few weeks and most for the better! mine as small as it may seem has made me feel like a million bucks! even if it is only a £4.99 hair dye from boots!
thank you soo much for all your helo and surpport over the past few weeks you all ave truely been a god send thanks
x


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

loobylou,

You just sound like a different person! I am so glad to hear your husband is doing well & glad you did a little something for yourself too. My best to you both.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

swedish said:


> loobylou,
> 
> You just sound like a different person! I am so glad to hear your husband is doing well & glad you did a little something for yourself too. My best to you both.



Ditto

draconis


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

thanx you guys your all ace!


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