# External sexual stimuli to add some "spark"



## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

What are the groups thoughts on couples reading erotica, watching porn, or using other forms of external stimula to help get the sexual thoughts flowing for a couple (viewing/participating togther in this)? Seems some of the sexual issues get even more compounded when everyday life gets in the way, and to me, seems like using something to get the thoughts going would be helpful, but my spouse feels that is munipluative and not genuine feelings then......


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

We don't read erotica mainly because I find it boring and TBH a bit silly. We do watch porn together occasionally as well as read books about sex in bed. 

Mr H has the sexiest voice I have ever heard so I will get him to read while giving him a BJ. Man oh man that is one of my favourite things.

Nothing manipulative going on here.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Married_in_michigan said:


> What are the groups thoughts on couples reading erotica, watching porn, or using other forms of external stimula to help get the sexual thoughts flowing for a couple (viewing/participating togther in this)? Seems some of the sexual issues get even more compounded when everyday life gets in the way, and to me, seems like using something to get the thoughts going would be helpful, but my spouse feels that is munipluative and not genuine feelings then......


Nothing wrong with this, doesn't make your feelings any less genuine, IMO


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think it's great! Whatever the couple can do to get their mind back on sexy time with each other is good. 
it is DAMN HARD to switch gears from being the boss of a staff that acts more like 4 year olds than adults to thinking "oh hey I can't wait to get my p**sy licked by my hot sexy man tonight!! woohoo!". I love it but it's tough to think of it when the day has gone to hell. 

To engage in a sexy pic exchange,sexy message exchange and a bit of erotic reading or whatever together is NOT manipulative IMO. It's people being realistic and accepting that it's not always easy to change gears and get into the proper sexy mindset no matter how badly you want your partner.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

Thanks for the feedback


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My SO and I regularly watch porn both together, or even when one of us is giving the other person oral. She's very visually aroused. . I'm all for it!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What does she mean exactly? Probably better to let it go for now. You don't want to turn her off. Taste change so you may be able to revisit this. 
How about you using what you see for ideas? Adjust what you do to make sure she is enjoying the new moves.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wasted_Potential (Apr 21, 2014)

I'm in favour of any positive efforts to keep things fresh and exciting.

In all honesty, I would be interested to know what occupies her darker thoughts when she's honest about what really turns her on.

Maybe some of it is too close to the line and she is uncomfortable about what exactly floats her boat.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Being in a sexless marriage the only relief I get is by doing it myself.

I used to be able to get an erection by thinking about sex or seeing a good looking woman...however, now, aged 50 I find I need more stimuli....basically I have to watch porn to get a good erection.

When men are teenagers we could get a boner in teh middle of a maths class or on the bus or whilst running a cross country (most embarrassing!)...but as we get older we need more...lets say 'encouragement'.
So yes, I think external stimuli are fine.


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## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

my wife was a sexual wildcat when she was reading the 50 Shades series. i have tried to get her to read more but it hasn't worked. she genuinely enjoyed reading them. so yes, i think it is a great idea. i created a tumblr account for her on her phone so she can look at sexy pics when she is bored. she doesn't do that often.


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