# Imagine, the damage done by cheating



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Imagine the poor kids and the level of deception involved in this situation, that poor man.

I was so proud of my children, then two DNA tests shattered my life: Anguish of divorced father who paid £15,000 maintenance for offspring who weren't his | Daily Mail Online


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I think a fair settlement in those cases is that the OM should pay 1/4 of the cost of rearing the child for however many years the BH lives with the child. The BH has the enjoyment of living with what he believes is his child and that is worth something. This presumes both husband and wife make similar money. 

Once the BH leaves the company of the child however 50% of the cost of raising the child should fall on the OM.

Tamat


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

My solution is this. The OM should pay the full amount if it is known who he is. Let the defrauded guy be able to sue both of them for fraud. Now say he can't be found then the defrauded man should pay until the kids are adults and this is assuming he was their at some point, not just a name on a piece of paper because they hadn't divorced yet. At the point the kids are 21 the mother should have to pay back the defrauded man with interest. Withhold it from her check if necessary. Even if the the other man pays he should still be able to sue her and she can pay the settlement when the kids are 21. Not perfect but at least more fair. But men have to stand up for laws to protect us. In Europe you are not even allowed to test without both parents consent. It should be punished like fraud.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*His XW, is still stringently adhering to the axiom of "plausible deniability" and effectively assigns absolutely no responsibilty to herself!

But then again, ain't that what cheaters usually do?*


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Disgusting. The Vikings would have had horses trample her to death. Even that seems kind.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Just read that his family is all pissed off at him for ordering the tests.

People are just weird.

And holy ****... is his ex a piece of work or what?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I think a DNA test should be one of the requirements of obtaining a birth certificate. No father's name can be attached to that certificate without PROOF that he is the biological, responsible father. The father must pay, and should be compelled by penalty of law to step forward, sign the birth certificate himself in the presence of witnesses. If this father cannot be found, then the birth certificate will carry a blank signature line.

It should then also be considered fraud, punishable by jail imprisonment, if children are not informed of their actual, proven, biological parents, by age 12, and also of the fact, if it occurs, that their bio dad has reneged upon his obligation toward them. This responsibility becomes incumbent upon the biological parent who is still "in the picture".


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Duplicate post removed by TJW


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Just read that his family is all pissed off at him for ordering the tests.
> 
> People are just weird.


Yes, they are weird, indeed. And, they are "entitled"... an attitude which is passed along through the family. Instead of this, children should be taught, and demonstrated to, that they should be indeed thankful for the rich provision of two parents they have had for all their formative lives, and which they still enjoy into perpetuity. 

And, that the finances are a matter strictly between their parents, none of their business. They had a right to support as children, and this, they received. Boom.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Anything less than prison for her willful and intended fraud would be a travesty of justice. To hell with the money. 

There's a special place in hell for the kind of being his ex is.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Lol, as if people even consider the consequences of their actions.

The man failed to heed the warnings, and suffered the consequences of his actions, as his wife suffered the consequences of hers.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

TJW said:


> I think a DNA test should be one of the requirements of obtaining a birth certificate. No father's name can be attached to that certificate without PROOF that he is the biological, responsible father. The father must pay, and should be compelled by penalty of law to step forward, sign the birth certificate himself in the presence of witnesses. If this father cannot be found, then the birth certificate will carry a blank signature line.
> 
> It should then also be considered fraud, punishable by jail imprisonment, if children are not informed of their actual, proven, biological parents, by age 12, and also of the fact, if it occurs, that their bio dad has reneged upon his obligation toward them. This responsibility becomes incumbent upon the biological parent who is still "in the picture".


QFT, a good friend of mine would have been saved a lot of heartache if this was in place.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

I remember reading this when it first came out. Still makes my blood boil. This is why I'm for all men DNA testing their kids at birth. Not mandatory or anything. You don't even have to (and really shouldn't) tell the mother just get an over the counter kit, swab, mail, and wait. For peace of mind if anything.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

For her, the WW, the past arrived and bit her.

For him, the BH, the past arrived.
He did not get bit.
He got lopped off.

Severed from his WW, from his children.

She got bit, he got bit off.

Strange thing, this. 

The exposed past bringing her justice.
Bringing him just ice.

Him, getting a cold chill a cold shower.
No ice cream.

I scream.....no Justice. 
Just more bites, more pain.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

For the betrayed husband.

The due settled in his Seventh House.

He got his due, it being acid dew.

Burning, burning, never to cool.

So powerful this affliction...
This dew never burning off, even on the hottest day.

The dew not water, tis, an acid brew.
His life backward, forward, never it to renew.
Never it to wash away, reformulate new.

BH's housed-seven dew, ever coming due.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Telling: She still won’t admit she screwed around on both kids, ONLY the second, and tricked the guy.

Telling: She has no problem suing him for child support when they divorced, knowing they weren’t even his kids.

Telling: She likely doesn’t even know who the dads are..

This woman is really a piece of work.
And the guys family that has shunned him—- they have no compassion for him.

The fact that the kids have abandoned and shunned him—— speaks to their character as well. The selfish ******* genes that that woman has—- they must run strong and dominant in her family. 

That’s a totally disgusting story. The guy will likely never collect that 25k..


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> Telling: She still won’t admit she screwed around on both kids, ONLY the second, and tricked the guy.
> 
> Telling: She has no problem suing him for child support when they divorced, knowing they weren’t even his kids.
> 
> ...


I have to agree. There maybe two sides to the story. This guy might be a piece of work who knows? But the wife's response is telling, in fact it's rather funny because the evidence is undeniable and the truth has been served up for all to see, and that's for the rest of her life.

The truth always outs


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Oh, I just love the part where she says two DNA tests on the son are wrong. Really? Screaming ***** now has approximately $50K to pay her ex. Hope it makes her bleed. The children? Two royal *******s. The man raised you. and your mother was a whxre. So somebody other than your father, the man that put his lifeblood into you, impregnated your mother, and should have been the man to support you two. Well, now he deserves a piece of that back. Personally, I think that Mom and her two kids deserve each other, one day, when they are destitute, watch how suddenly they'll want dad in their lives. Mom was a liar and a thief, bet the kids are now that way too.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I would like to see that the birth mother signs a document saying who the father is, and lying or not writing uncertain would be cause for suspension of child support. In the US the father has to sign a document saying he is the father.

Tamat


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

The arguement I've heard from people who says stuff like "it's stupid to DNA he/she is still your child" is that it's the same thing as an adoption. 

I suspect these same people would go out of their minds if they were defrauded out of $200 in some sort of scam, yet spending $30,000 on a child not your own is not a crime.

Not only does the husband get the truth but the child/children get it as well.

One of the worst downsides of cheating is that not only do you lie to your spouse but to your children too.

Tama


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

TAMAT said:


> In the US the father has to sign a document saying he is the father.


Yes, and also, in the US, quite paradoxically, a man would not be allowed to testify in court that "he is the father" - that is hearsay.... he only knows that he was told "you're the father"....that is, unless he knows by forensic evidence known to be reliable indication that he is indeed the father.

I don't think, if tested for veracity, the signature on the birth certificate could stand as evidence, either, because the "father" cannot know whether his statement is true. 

The signature meets the criterion of the document itself, that he states to the best of his belief that it's true.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

If by some mind bogglingly improbable throw of the dice my children were not mine, I'd just as soon not know. I was there for their birth, I was involved in every formative moment in their lives, and I *was* their father, DNA results be damned. 

We consider ourselves linked by blood, and that's good enough for me.


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## SarcasticRed (Feb 21, 2018)

I feel so, so bad for those kids. 

In being mad at his wife in this (which he should be), he caused great hurt to his children. Biological or not, they saw him as their dad. He is the only person in their life they considered their father. He is now saying he would have left earlier and is upset at having supported them. I can't say I blame them for not speaking to him.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

TJW said:


> I think a DNA test should be one of the requirements of obtaining a birth certificate. No father's name can be attached to that certificate without PROOF that he is the biological, responsible father. The father must pay, and should be compelled by penalty of law to step forward, sign the birth certificate himself in the presence of witnesses. If this father cannot be found, then the birth certificate will carry a blank signature line.
> 
> It should then also be considered fraud, punishable by jail imprisonment, if children are not informed of their actual, proven, biological parents, by age 12, and also of the fact, if it occurs, that their bio dad has reneged upon his obligation toward them. This responsibility becomes incumbent upon the biological parent who is still "in the picture".


This is without a doubt one of the best posts I have ever read.


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