# More questions than answers



## hopeman1970 (Jan 9, 2013)

I just left a post for another guy in a similar situation. My wife of 7 years up and just left in November with my kids and moved in with her mother. I was left with many questions and few answers. She never had to work, I built a beautiful house for our family, and she had the freedom to be a mom. I worked, was home every night, and spent as much time as I could with the kids. I thought everything was going fine. I was so proud of our family...so proud of her...and what we created. 

Then like I said, she just left. Her initial excuse was I did not meet her emotional needs. Then it was I was not honest. Then it was I did not spend enough time with the kids. It was never really a true reason, just excuses. She now said that she is the better parent and that I am not real good at anything. 

What is confounding is how this can all happen within the course of 4 months. No warning signs, no "hey let's stop and talk", no "we have a problem, let's work on it". She just quit and walked away. She quit the marriage, quit on our kids, quit on me. 

So, now she sits at her mom's with no job, no income, no way to pay any bills, and no responsibilities for anything except taking the kids to school. I have tried to reason, to talk, counseling, etc. and she says it doesn't work. In fact, she is convinced that her mother provides her the best advice with these matters and it's best not to talk about the things. I guess that's been her way of dealing with things for years. 

So, barring any miracle, I am afraid were headed in the direction of divorce. Unless someone out there has some magical idea. She wants out and she is willing to destroy herself, our kids, our family for her own personal needs. I wish I did not look at it this way but she does not want to listen to rational discussion. The thing I am so upset and concerned with is my kids. She has no idea what she is going to do to them and it seems like she does not really care. The light is on at home but it's starting to flicker. 

Is this some type of trend now with Gen Y'ers? Is this how people really operate? When times get tough or when it's time to partner up, they quit? Personal needs trump family requirements? I guess I may be a bit old school but I remember a time that a marriage was a partnership, and a family was a team. I am so disappointed, ashamed, sad, angry, incredulous that she could do something like this. Is it now where people are bored or something and just trade in for another model?

I welcome your comments as I just don't know what to say.

Hopeman


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

hopeman,

Did you check out the possibility that there may be someone else involved?

Now that she's out of the house, your avenues for investigation are somewhat limited.

However, you can still log on to your cellphone carriers site and review her cell phone usgae.

Go back months before November and look for a lot of texts/calls to 1 or 2 numbers you don't recognize

She could also just be a walkaway wife and she just checked out of the marriage

Before she left, did she text alot and always have her phone with her? Was there a password on her phone? Did she start working out or start wearing more make-up or dressing nicer?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Toffer said:


> hopeman,
> 
> Did you check out the possibility that there may be someone else involved?
> 
> ...


Check this avenue first to eliminate another man in the picture.


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