# Ancestry DNA - Family Secrets



## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

...


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I did it as a joke, picked myself and my wife. Pops up "Husband-Wife", then "Third cousins"


Let me guess... you live in Kentucky?
🤣

I don't have any interesting stories about ancestry.
I never saw the point other than for funsies and I don't need another funsie.

But I appreciate the depth and complexity of it all.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I did 23&me, because I don't really know anything about my ancestry. Apparently I have cousins in the States.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Laurentium said:


> I did 23&me, because I don't really know anything about my ancestry. Apparently I have cousins in the States.


Mine


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## Jeffsmith35 (Apr 8, 2021)

"Pops up "Husband-Wife", then "Third cousins". Seems my wife and I share a common GGGG grandparent couple ancestors back in the mid 1800's. I had much fun telling our children this! "

That is fascinating!
Have you seen the movie Joe Dirt?🤣


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Jeffsmith35 said:


> "Pops up "Husband-Wife", then "Third cousins". Seems my wife and I share a common GGGG grandparent couple ancestors back in the mid 1800's. I had much fun telling our children this! "
> 
> That is fascinating!
> Have you seen the movie Joe Dirt?🤣


Yes, I have. We were actually surprised. I was born 350 miles from where my wife was. I mean, these GGGG Grandparents we shared were born in the late 1700's and died in Mississippi around 1850/60. It was just fun making the kids get grossed out. I told my son, you can call me "Daddy Uncle". It was glorious. Embrassing my children, just another free service I offer.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Unless your family moves around a lot between generations, having some common ancestors 4 or 5 generations back with someone you meet in high school or local college would be pretty common. 4 grand parents, 8 great grand parents, 16 great-great grand parents, 32 great-great-great grand parents, etc.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Hiner112 said:


> Unless your family moves around a lot between generations, having some common ancestors 4 or 5 generations back with someone you meet in high school or local college would be pretty common. 4 grand parents, 8 great grand parents, 16 great-great grand parents, 32 great-great-great grand parents, etc.


For our families, it was fleeing the deep south after the destruction during the Civil War. Lots of families picked up and moved to Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada and California.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories.
> 
> 
> There used to be a button you could click on in the Genealogy application, that would calculate and give you the relationship between two people you selected. I did it as a joke, picked myself and my wife. Pops up "Husband-Wife", then "Third cousins". Seems my wife and I share a common GGGG grandparent couple ancestors back in the mid 1800's. I had much fun telling our children this!


that is actually extremely common in most places, and it is evidence of _less_ inbreeding, not more. when everyone marries into different families in even large populations, the branches _have_ to cross every once in a while. the longer two families have existed in the same region, the more likely it is that they married into each other at some point. 

go back far enough and we are all related.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

I have been researching my family tree for over 50 years. Have over 30000 individuals listed in my files all whom are related to me. Over the years I have gained knowledge of my ancestors and collateral relatives dating back almost 1000 years, even extended family as far removed as 12th cousins. I am a 15th great grandson of Abraham Zacuto, who was a friend and navigational instrument maker for Christopher Columbus. I have discovered my relatives from public records and also contributions. So far have not taken a DNA test.
But you will find DNA testing can only prove people are blood related going back only 3 or 4 generations and dating back about 25 generations then everyone is related. Also DNA results and percentages can vary greatly according to which companies conduct the tests as they all use varying methods that will have varying results. This means that ancestral DNA testing is simply not accurate and the results should not be assumed as credible but merely a rough guide.
The only reliable means of tracing back ones family linage is via historic records that if lucky may get you back 1000 years, then of course over that period there will be hundreds of direct ancestors from many different family branches, which means to determine an accurate result of a person’s ancestral origins is virtually impossible by DNA testing.
It’s extremely difficult to accurately find one’s ancestry under any circumstances. People have been genetically mixing for thousands of years. Even identical twins may show different ancestral results with different percentages. Each company uses different methods for DNA analysing and therefore varying results may come back depending on which company conducts the tests.
These tests are fun but rarely accurate and should only be considered as a rough estimate. An example: if a person has 5% French ancestry and a company is 5% out with it’s results, the French ancestry part could be missed completely and so on.
DNA matching between relatives dating back 3 or 4 generations is fairly accurate. It is possible to discover a 4th cousin from a DNA database, but it is doubtful DNA could be accurately matched with direct or collateral relatives going back further than that.
Another example; if we could time travel back 3 hundred years and meet our 6th great grandparents, blood wise we would hardly be related to them although they are our direct ancestors.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Is this a case where your family tree looks like a chain-link fence!! 🤣 🤣 

Sorry that's my standard joke for the whole idea of deep south incest..


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Is this a case where your family tree looks like a chain-link fence!! 🤣 🤣
> 
> Sorry that's my standard joke for the whole idea of deep south incest..


Well it could be West Virginia, where the Family Tree has no branches.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Well it could be West Virginia, where the Family Tree has no branches.


I actually use it for Alambama most of the time...., but any of the southern states can be added in there!


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> I have been researching my family tree for over 50 years. Have over 30000 individuals listed in my files all whom are related to me. Over the years I have gained knowledge of my ancestors and collateral relatives dating back almost 1000 years, even extended family as far removed as 12th cousins. I am a 15th great grandson of Abraham Zacuto, who was a friend and navigational instrument maker for Christopher Columbus. I have discovered my relatives from public records and also contributions. So far have not taken a DNA test.
> But you will find DNA testing can only prove people are blood related going back only 3 or 4 generations and dating back about 25 generations then everyone is related. Also DNA results and percentages can vary greatly according to which companies conduct the tests as they all use varying methods that will have varying results. This means that ancestral DNA testing is simply not accurate and the results should not be assumed as credible but merely a rough guide.
> The only reliable means of tracing back ones family linage is via historic records that if lucky may get you back 1000 years, then of course over that period there will be hundreds of direct ancestors from many different family branches, which means to determine an accurate result of a person’s ancestral origins is virtually impossible by DNA testing.
> It’s extremely difficult to accurately find one’s ancestry under any circumstances. People have been genetically mixing for thousands of years. Even identical twins may show different ancestral results with different percentages. Each company uses different methods for DNA analysing and therefore varying results may come back depending on which company conducts the tests.
> ...


Yup, I have got back to the 1500's on one line. I cannot get much past the 1700's at all. Just too few records of people when they moved to the Americas. Add in name changes, courthouses being burnt, deliberate falsfication to hide they were wanted, etc.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I _am_ a family secret. I'm the result of an extramarital affair. My biological father was married and had 5 kids with his wife. According to my mother, iirc, he also had twins with another AP born within 2 weeks of me. And I think there was another boy he had with someone else...maybe. 

My bio father and I had something of a relationship until I was 4, his wife knew about me, no one else did. At near 5 there was some drama and I told him to go away, that I never wanted to see him again. He left saying I'd call for him someday, if not soon. Well, I never did. No regrets. He reached out a few times and I ignored him. Haven't heard a peep in 30 years. Don't even know if he's still alive.

So, being a family secret and all, I don't think Ancestry or similar services are a good idea. I have no desire to be matched with any paternal relatives and no desire to use the service if I am not seeking out unknown family.

End of the day, I vaguely remember my Great Grandma, remember Grandma and Grandpa, and remember my mom and the Uncles who've passed. That's good enough for me.


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## KayJC (5 mo ago)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories.
> 
> After I retired from the military, I got really interested in genealogy. A few years ago, my kids bought me a DNA kit for Christmas. This allowed me to break through a few walls on my family history. It also resulted in two surprises.
> 
> ...


Personally I think Ancestry is a huge case of no privacy. Someone, not related to me, put a picture on Ancestry of my late father in law (she was distantly like through a 2nd marriage related to father in law's great grans) and another person told me about this. My late husband very much believed in privacy and I know for fact he would be very upset about this. People "pirate" FB, download pictures and there you go.
Ancestry needs to be called out on such.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Why would anyone would willingly give their DNA to perfect strangers is beyond me.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories.
> 
> After I retired from the military, I got really interested in genealogy. A few years ago, my kids bought me a DNA kit for Christmas. This allowed me to break through a few walls on my family history. It also resulted in two surprises.
> 
> ...


There's going to be a lot of revelations. And the further you go back the more frequently women were raped. We already had a big thread about pros and cons of DNAing people at birth. It was a big blowout controversial thread. Obviously a lot of people have privacy issues with it.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Numb26 said:


> Why would anyone would willingly give their DNA to perfect strangers is beyond me.


Why? Because if you are serious about genealogy, DNA can both help bridge gaps in the paper records and can verify assumptions based on the paper records. DNA does not lie, but paper records can. And if you have nothing to hide, then who cares about what the DNA sites know, as they have privacy policies you can look at. My only concern has been 23&me as they seem to be trying to figure out how to make money of medical/disease DNA information, which I find troubling.

I first got tested through 23&me after I got into doing ancestor research for the health/medical aspects. Later, I found Family Tree DNA with their MtDNA and Y-DNA tests and Ancestry.com's DNA testing. Then, I found GEDMatch and uploaded data to that. I have also taken a vacation to Salt Lake City to the LDS Geneological Library to do research there with some of their volunteer specialists. I have participated in some special DNA and paper ancestry research groups.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> Why? Because if you are serious about genealogy, DNA can both help bridge gaps in the paper records and can verify assumptions based on the paper records. DNA does not lie, but paper records can. And if you have nothing to hide, then who cares about what the DNA sites know, as they have privacy policies you can look at. My only concern has been 23&me as they seem to be trying to figure out how to make money of medical/disease DNA information, which I find troubling.
> 
> I first got tested through 23&me after I got into doing ancestor research for the health/medical aspects. Later, I found Ancestry DNA with their MtDNA and Y-DNA tests and Ancestry.com's DNA testing. Then, I found GEDMatch and uploaded data to that. I have also taken a vacation to Salt Lake City to the LDS Geneological Library to do research there with some of their volunteer specialists. I have participated in some special DNA and paper ancestry research groups.


It is how I connected to identify my 3xGGF. He died at the Fort Pillow Massacre in the Civil War. Has memorial stone placed the West TN Veterans Cemetery. Was on the Union TN Cavalry.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> Why? Because if you are serious about genealogy, DNA can both help bridge gaps in the paper records and can verify assumptions based on the paper records. DNA does not lie, but paper records can. And if you have nothing to hide, then who cares about what the DNA sites know, as they have privacy policies you can look at. My only concern has been 23&me as they seem to be trying to figure out how to make money of medical/disease DNA information, which I find troubling.
> 
> I first got tested through 23&me after I got into doing ancestor research for the health/medical aspects. Later, I found Ancestry DNA with their MtDNA and Y-DNA tests and Ancestry.com's DNA testing. Then, I found GEDMatch and uploaded data to that. I have also taken a vacation to Salt Lake City to the LDS Geneological Library to do research there with some of their volunteer specialists. I have participated in some special DNA and paper ancestry research groups.


Still, you are putting more trust into strangers then I ever would. Luckily my ancestry is well documented already


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LOL....my skirt-chasing cheating ex-husband (I divorced his ass 25 years ago) got one of those 23&Me kits for Christmas a few years ago. Don'tcha know, so far TWO of his 'love children' (conceived while we were still married) that he didn't even know he *had* have come a callin' (independent of each other and with different mothers) to meet their bio daddy. I guess both their mommies weren't exactly high caliber because apparently, they were "hit and runs" and they didn't know who the 'daddy' was either, 30 years ago. And these two are just the ones we know about. I wonder how many MORE are out there who haven't done the 23&Me and put themselves in the database? Jeez.

Not for nuthin', but he's a big fat liar and I'm pretty sure he told his 2nd wife that we got divorced because *I* was the cheater in our marriage. I would have *loved* to be a fly on the wall each time one of these young ladies reached out to daddy over these last 3 or 4 years - and his current wife did the math only to discover they were conceived when I was married to this prize. 😬 😬

I'm surprised he didn't get dragged onto Maury for paternity tests back in the 80's. 🤣 🤣 🤣


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories....


There are lots of stories about surprising DNA finds. I have found cousins both near and far through DNA testing. I have family pictures of major life events for some of them. I have become Facebook friends with several of them and visited them on vacations. 

There were several subsistence farmers in the family tree that had second wives. The first wife died in childbirth and with a large family the husband needed to quickly acquire a "wife-partner" to take care of his children and household while he farmed. So even though people can have the same last name, they may have varying degrees of shared DNA. 

My strangest story is actually my wife's. She also took one of the DNA tests, I took. A few years later she got an email from a distant cousin, who asked if she might know who the author of the email's father was and his history. Her mother explained that the biological father was a soldier during the Korean war and had died, but was a star athlete at a major university. This did not fit any of my wife's male relatives. Putting the pieces together, she figured out that the true father was a specific uncle, who never served in the military and never did any university level sports. My wife contacted one of the uncle's daughters and suggested if she wanted to she might contact the person who sent the email. My wife didn't feel it was her place to name the uncle and expose the lies. They did get in contact via email and have actually meet. The Uncle died well before the DNA test did any linkage.

My personal approach is that while DNA evidence doesn't lie, I feel that before I label someone as a relative, I want to know the paper trail relationship and be able to see where exactly they fit on the family tree.

As to the "ethnic" identity information provided by DNA companies, it is mostly B.S. in my opinion.

For example, if they tell your background is from England, what does that really mean? Does it mean you are Pict or Celt? Does it mean you are part Anglo or part Saxon? Does it mean you are part of the Scandanavians who as Vikings populated much of Ireland, Wales, and central England surrounding York? It doesn't mean you are of English heritage, it means that your mix of DNA is commonly found in England, not that you had direct ancestors who lived there.

In my case, the various DNA companies say I have ancestry from sub-Saharan Africa, Turkey, Italy, Spain, Germany, France, the UK and Greece. My particular male Haplogroup is associated most closely with a tribe from Trace that were heavily recruited as soldiers by the Roman legions and sent to all of the major Roman legion posts, sprinkling their DNA along the way. Does that make me Turkish? Not really, but it does mean that some distant relative was shipped to a Roman Legion camp in what is now Turkey and had lots of kids, while a closer relative ended up at a Roman Legion camp in Germany, where he had lots of kids. The Y-DNA and the MtDNA can tell you much more about connections that the autosomal DHA.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Numb26 said:


> Still, you are putting more trust into strangers then I ever would. Luckily my ancestry is well documented already


My paper records go back to the 1700's. But it is kind of impressive, to see that at least from them that my direct male line paper records, match Y-DNA back almost as far. You never know about where a "love child" may show up or not.

Again, I don't count anyone a "relative" until I put a name in the family tree paper trial to the DNA connection. And I have found several "cousins" through DNA that with just a few connections we each quickly realized where we were connected on our paper family trees. I have also run into people who go crazy with the Ancestry "leaf" thing and accept every DNA connection as a "proven" relative of the suggested relationship, which is nuts.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> My paper records go back to the 1700's. But it is kind of impressive, to see that at least from them that my direct male line paper records, match Y-DNA back almost as far. You never know about where a "love child" may show up or not.
> 
> Again, I don't count anyone a "relative" until I put a name in the family tree paper trial to the DNA connection. And I have found several "cousins" through DNA that with just a few connections we each quickly realized where we were connected on our paper family trees. I have also run into people who go crazy with the Ancestry "leaf" thing and accept every DNA connection as a "proven" relative of the suggested relationship, which is nuts.


I'm not familiar with Ancestry. On my mother's side of the family knowing the family history is very important and our family can trace its roots to feudal Japan. Unfortunately, my fathers dead ends in Eastern Europe during WW2.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories.
> 
> After I retired from the military, I got really interested in genealogy. A few years ago, my kids bought me a DNA kit for Christmas. This allowed me to break through a few walls on my family history. It also resulted in two surprises.
> 
> ...


So my Grandfather was 100% French ancestry. He spoke fluent French (Born in the USA) everything in his house was French. My aunt got him one of the DNA kits. Turned out he was 98% Greek. My cousin told me this at my fathers wake. I laughed really hard and then found my grandfather and said "Hey Granpa, Opa". He was not happy about the news, though he might have been upset about his son being dead, but I'm pretty sure it was being Greek. 

It seems like a lot of people get really into researching family genealogy. It is quite interesting. My wifes Grandfather had volumes, I'm talking over 100 binders. His family came to America on the Mayflower so he had a lot of detail dating back to then but he went way way back to like the 13 century. 

Both my wife and myself are related to William Wallace.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

BootsAndJeans said:


> It is how I connected to identify my 3xGGF. He died at the Fort Pillow Massacre in the Civil War. Has memorial stone placed the West TN Veterans Cemetery. Was on the Union TN Cavalry.


Funny -- one of my great great uncles signed up for the Civil war in Elmira, NY and was killed in the 2nd battle of Bull Run (no kids or married that I could find). I didn't do any of the ancestry stuff though -- just documentation and from my uncle who did quite a bit of genealogy of the family that I built on. Unfortunately, I can really only get back to the mid 1800s -- before that, Irish and German records that I haven't really taken the time to try and find. Plus the town in Germany that my ancestors came from no longer exists -- it was engulfed the by the growing city of Frankfurt, so....


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Young at Heart said:


> There are lots of stories about surprising DHA finds. I have found cousins both near and far through DNA testing. I have family pictures of major life events for some of them. I have become Facebook friends with several of them and visited them on vacations.
> 
> There were several subsistence farmers in the family tree that had second wives. The first wife died in childbirth and with a large family the husband needed to quickly acquire a "wife-partner" to take care of his children and household while he farmed. So even though people can have the same last name, they may have varying degrees of shared DNA.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I know my GG Grandmother was full blood Choctaw, even buried on the reservation. She married a my GG Grandpa, who was second generation Irish. She & her were not on the official Dawes roles, due to trying to pass for Mexican-American ancestry, due to racism against Native Americans in the late 1800's and early 1900's. 

I have traced by by records to Wales, Scotland, Ireland and England. I have no idea where the Nordic genes came from.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

BootsAndJeans said:


> This is to just start a conversation and hear other people's stories.
> 
> After I retired from the military, I got really interested in genealogy. A few years ago, my kids bought me a DNA kit for Christmas. This allowed me to break through a few walls on my family history. It also resulted in two surprises.
> 
> ...


I'm sure it's all on the up and up.




__





DNA testing kit company has been handing over genetic data to the FBI


At-home DNA testing kits were once little more than a fun distraction that might reveal something about your family history that had been long forgotten. …




bgr.com


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

UAArchangel said:


> I'm sure it's all on the up and up.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I was in the military, the US Government already has my DNA


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I was in the military, the US Government already has my DNA


I've never been in the military, so my country doesn't have it and I wish to keep it that way.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I was in the military, the US Government already has my DNA





UAArchangel said:


> I've never been in the military, so my country doesn't have it and I wish to keep it that way.


Some people are comfortable with Big Brother and some aren't. I'm not.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> Some people are comfortable with Big Brother and some aren't. I'm not.


I think in terms of how the government could use it against me.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Young at Heart said:


> As to the "ethnic" identity information provided by DNA companies, it is mostly B.S. in my opinion.


True.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

I'm gonna have to agree with the cynics on this one. I have every reason in the world to use dna testing because I am adopted.
Never going to happen. Decision made, done; birth people made theirs and I made mine.
Something to think about with adoption. There is no way back.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> It is how I connected to identify my 3xGGF. He died at the Fort Pillow Massacre in the Civil War. Has memorial stone placed the West TN Veterans Cemetery. Was on the Union TN Cavalry.


Which cemetery is that? The new one in Parker's Crossroads, or is there another one?

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Why would anyone would willingly give their DNA to perfect strangers is beyond me.


Because I don't really care. Too much paranoia these days.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I was in the military, the US Government already has my DNA


Same here. Anybody who served in the last 30 years is in the same boat.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

farsidejunky said:


> Which cemetery is that? The new one in Parker's Crossroads, or is there another one?
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


Yes, Parkers Cross Roads.....he is either buried in the mass grave at Memphis National Cemetery (Army moved all the battlefield burials to Memphis in 1867), or his body washed down the Mississippi.

The stone in PCR is a VA provided memorial stone.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Because I don't really care. Too much paranoia these days.


Cool. We'll see what pans out.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

I won't do it. Not anything against it, I just don't want to know. I too, am adopted. My bio-dad never knew I existed. Bio-Mom passed during childbirth. Her dad didn't want me, so her BFF and her husband adopted me. I met my bio-dad like 7 years ago. He's a good dude. I have a couple half sisters. They're pretty awesome.

I went to my bio-mom's dad's funeral a while back with my mom - my adopted mom. My only mom, I guess. Curiosity got the best of me. I was looking at my bio-mom's headstone when a woman came over and introduced herself and asked if that was my birthday, pointing at the headstone. I nodded, and she said they were told I didn't survive either, but she always thought it was weird because there was no headstone for the baby. I never gave her my name. I'm sure they're probably all decent enough people, I just don't care to know them or have them know how to find me since they didn't want me.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> Why would anyone would willingly give their DNA to perfect strangers is beyond me.


Meh. Doesn't bother me.

I did 23andme a couple of years ago because as far as I know my father (who is likely to predecease me) is my only living relative and I might like to find some distant family members. We disconnected from all that by immigrating when I was a young child. I was also interested in some of the health markers, particularly ARMD as there's family history.

My ancestry results couldn't have been more boring, 99.8% from the area where I was born (right to the district). Some of the .2% was from Ireland which I already knew about on my mother's side. Clearly my ancestors didn't move around much.


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## MrShipwreck (1 mo ago)

Zedd said:


> I won't do it. Not anything against it, I just don't want to know. I too, am adopted. My bio-dad never knew I existed. Bio-Mom passed during childbirth. Her dad didn't want me, so her BFF and her husband adopted me. I met my bio-dad like 7 years ago. He's a good dude. I have a couple half sisters. They're pretty awesome.
> 
> I went to my bio-mom's dad's funeral a while back with my mom - my adopted mom. My only mom, I guess. Curiosity got the best of me. I was looking at my bio-mom's headstone when a woman came over and introduced herself and asked if that was my birthday, pointing at the headstone. I nodded, and she said they were told I didn't survive either, but she always thought it was weird because there was no headstone for the baby. I never gave her my name. I'm sure they're probably all decent enough people, I just don't care to know them or have them know how to find me since they didn't want me.



I have zero interest in this myself... But for different reasons.

My parents were abusive. I've cut them outta my life for the 3rd and final time over 2 years ago. Enough's enough...

Growing up, my father had very little contact with his family. I personally don't care for my family... Although... There IS a difference between FAMILY and RELATIVES.

Anyway, this has just never been an interest of mine. I don't care about that.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Young at Heart said:


> Why? Because if you are serious about genealogy, DNA can both help bridge gaps in the paper records and can verify assumptions based on the paper records. DNA does not lie, but paper records can. And if you have nothing to hide, then who cares about what the DNA sites know, as they have privacy policies you can look at. My only concern has been 23&me as they seem to be trying to figure out how to make money of medical/disease DNA information, which I find troubling.
> 
> I first got tested through 23&me after I got into doing ancestor research for the health/medical aspects. Later, I found Ancestry DNA with their MtDNA and Y-DNA tests and Ancestry.com's DNA testing. Then, I found GEDMatch and uploaded data to that. I have also taken a vacation to Salt Lake City to the LDS Geneological Library to do research there with some of their volunteer specialists. I have participated in some special DNA and paper ancestry research groups.


I went down a similar route, and it was how we found out that our entire shatra was exterminated in the Holocaust. my mother is the oldest living member of that side of the family now. she isn't even 60 yet. 

that line was almost wiped out. my mother had kids, her sister didn't. so there are only 11 of us now. there were several hundred before the Porajmos.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Mine
> View attachment 94455


I have Scottish and English from dad and Irish and Greek from mom.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I was in the military, the US Government already has my DNA


Same here but Tx State LEO Agency.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I don't like the thought of who might show up from a drunken ONS. I had tendency to chase women 10-15 yrs my senior who already were fixed.

But there were a couple that I found out about having sex with because they were bragging about it to a friend. Getting on to my waterbed with the girl is only thing I remember, not the sex, who or even what she looked like. One of those nights of black out drunk. Should have left that mason jar alone. 

Another reason I say I am Divinely Favored. Many mornings I woke up and do not remember leaving the club. I am grateful to the Lord I did not ever get a DWI or kill another or myself in a drunken car wreck. I have not drank alcohol in 20 yrs.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

As'laDain said:


> I went down a similar route, and it was how we found out that our entire shatra was exterminated in the Holocaust. my mother is the oldest living member of that side of the family now. she isn't even 60 yet.
> 
> that line was almost wiped out. my mother had kids, her sister didn't. so there are only 11 of us now. there were several hundred before the Porajmos.


I am sorry about what happened. History is full of horrible stories about people being exploited and killed. It makes it much more understandable why people would leave their homeland with little to no money and just the hope for a better life.

I have relatives who lived in the part of Imperial Russia that is now Ukraine. I have read the verdict of a Stalin purge, show trial of one relative who became a minor Communist official. The papers said he was to be destroyed (or at least that is the translation). 

Others who didn't leave before the revolution or branded as Kulaks, were sent to labor camps to be worked to death They were not Jewish, just not Russian enough. 

The really sad historic information was about those that died during the Holodomor or Moscow caused mass starvation, where Soviet soldiers were put at the borders of Ukraine and didn't allow anyone to leave the country. Much of the horrors done to the people of Ukraine under Soviet orders from Moscow is being again done today by orders from Moscow.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Numb26 said:


> Why would anyone would willingly give their DNA to perfect strangers is beyond me.


I desired proof that I was _Martian _and_ Neanderthal._

Both, came back, highly positive!


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Divinely Favored said:


> I don't like the thought of who might show up from a drunken ONS. I had tendency to chase women 10-15 yrs my senior who already were fixed.
> 
> But there were a couple that I found out about having sex with because they were bragging about it to a friend. Getting on to my waterbed with the girl is only thing I remember, not the sex, who or even what she looked like. One of those nights of black out drunk. Should have left that mason jar alone.
> 
> Another reason I say I am Divinely Favored. Many mornings I woke up and do not remember leaving the club. I am grateful to the Lord I did not ever get a DWI or kill another or myself in a drunken car wreck. I have not drank alcohol in 20 yrs.


THIS.

Granted, anything that could come up this way would have to be at least 20 as that is when I met my wife, but the amount of times I woke up with someone, either in my bed or a strange one, with no recollection of how I got there, is downright scary. 


Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My ancestry is all over the place, south pacific, Eastern and Western Europe, whereas my wife’s ancestry is Uchinanchu and Fukuoka Japan. She is both Nisei and Sansei. I have little information about my wife’s roots in Okinawa. I think a lot of records were destroyed in the battle of Okinawa (which my MIL lived through as a pre-teen/teen). 

I have a genealogy chart from my Hawaiian side, a bit more from my Western European and almost nothing from my Eastern European side. 

Even with DNA (which too I have little paranoia - given I too am a veteran), there is still a lot of mystery associated with my Eastern European roots. I think they were escaping something or someone. They seem to have just suddenly appeared in America from Germany but claimed to be Polish. 

One thing that is awesome is when I look at old photos of my maternal grandmother she look my late sisters twin. 

My ancestry along with my wife’s is almost the entire UN except for Africa, that is unless we go back far enough when ALL our ancestors walked out of Africa.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

One of the people that 23&me identified as a relative, in the US thousands of miles from me, has the same surname as me.


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## Twodecades (Apr 4, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> THIS.
> 
> Granted, anything that could come up this way would have to be at least 20 as that is when I met my wife, but the amount of times I woke up with someone, either in my bed or a strange one, with no recollection of how I got there, is downright scary.
> 
> ...


If that's case, would you (and @Divinely Favored also) want to know and meet your offspring?


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Laurentium said:


> One of the people that 23&me identified as a relative, in the US thousands of miles from me, has the same surname as me.


Some surnames are screwing in the US… when folks were processed through Ellis island and Boston, names were misspelled and often pronounce differently (often truncated) which ended up different than the origins.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

Ikaika said:


> Some surnames are screwing in the US… when folks were processed through Ellis island and Boston, names were misspelled and often pronounce differently (often truncated) which ended up different than the origins.


Yep, I've done a lot of genealogy stuff for my family. My adoptive dad's family name is pronounced the same, but spelled differently - it's Polish - letters were added to make it spelled as it's said in English.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

OnTheRocks said:


> Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


For me, my family on both sides, moved a lot and were I was completely in the dark about where & who I came from. After I left the military, I became very interested in the Civil War. Researching it, tied into my interest in genealogy. My ancestors in America, were almost exclusively southerners. I had ancestors who fought for the Union and Confederacy. 

A lot of these people, like most people throughout human history, were simply forgotten. It is interesting to me anyways, to get a glimpse into their lives, struggles and world, where the effects can be seen in families generations later.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Twodecades said:


> If that's case, would you (and @Divinely Favored also) want to know and meet your offspring?


They would be 28-29. If their were some. I would not want to throw a wrench into the family dynamic they already had. If it came from the 2 in question, I could always say, hey I'm the guy your mom raped when she got pregnant with you.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

My dad and brother had theirs done. Most interesting thing is my great great great grandfather was adopted and his last name in the family tree appears from nowhere. It comes from a certain place so we had assumed that historical ancestry, however my father’s DNA was basically 100% not that (and the feeders). That was interesting, other than that my mom’s DNA was confirmed through my brother. Still makes me wonder about the last name although they did get around a bit in Europe in the 1500s.

I found a lot more interesting information from a genealogy analysis of the family tree back to the 1700s on my father’s side. My mom’s family is pretty boring until her father. He was the first probably “professional” like lawyer/doctor/etc… whereas my father’s family had much more interesting characters.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

OnTheRocks said:


> Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


To add to my reply: History has always fascinated me and like most people, history was confined to famous people and a very large overview of significant events. 

Take the Civil War, as an example. To see how it actually effect real people, my ancestors, was impactful. In fact, in the the spring of 2023 in Civil War Times, the story of my Tennessee Unionist family will be a major article. I am not the author, but have provided photos and source documents. 

For my family, the war continued for another ten years with reprisals between Unionist Republicans and Democratic Ku Klux Klan groups. Eventually, my branch of the family just moved west to start over and escape the never ending violence.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

OnTheRocks said:


> Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


I don't know, not that it matters to my genetics one bit, but my Dad's grandfather and his brother came to the US at 16 and 18 as orphans. I guess, once you start being able to apply stories like that to your own life, it can lend some perspective to people immigrating today. Everyone has a story.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

OnTheRocks said:


> Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


My Hawaiian ancestry is important to me and my family, it is part of our culture.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BTW aside from adopted folks there are always liars like cheaters and such which can mess up a previously good story. I was relieved to see all of my mom’s conspiracy theories didn’t show up in the DNA for her side.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Twodecades said:


> If that's case, would you (and @Divinely Favored also) want to know and meet your offspring?


The idealistic side of me says yes. 

The realistic side is not nearly as motivated. 



Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ikaika said:


> My Hawaiian ancestry is important to me and my family, it is part of our culture.


I'm Keoni
When I was in college, friend of mine was dating a Hawaiian girl. think her name was Alley, she was in college for Marine Biology. Strange as heck being SE Okla is nowhere near the ocean. Same college is also a big aviation college for pilots. One of my frat brother's dad was pilot for Cosby. The instructor now flies FedEx 747s.

Any who, she was crazy about him and started talking marriage and he freaked. I tell him he would have better off going back to Hawaii with her than the string of worthless ex wives he has had. Alley thought he hung the moon instead of being a paycheck to support her kids. 

Was thinking about him and her today and how decisions made charts your path to your destination.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Genealogy is somewhat of a myth. All it takes is one woman who strays, gets pregnant, and conceals the sperm donor from the husband. I know of a woman right now in 2022 who cheated on her husband and had a child. The husband thinks the child is his. He's very much into genealogy. The lineage through him will be incorrectly recorded. Eventually DNA will probably smoke it out, but for now, the written record is erroneous.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

"Genealogy is somewhat of a myth."

Say what?


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

ShatteredKat said:


> "Genealogy is somewhat of a myth."
> 
> Say what?


He means that you may not be related to Charlemagne by blood because of a waywarding woman in your ancestral tree. Your true genealogy might be that of a servant that served a family within that tree.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

UAArchangel said:


> He means that you may not be related to Charlemagne by blood because of a waywarding woman in your ancestral tree. Your true genealogy might be that of a servant that served a family within that tree.


I guess I need to work on my writing. I thought I was perfectly clear. Oh, well.


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## UAArchangel (2 mo ago)

Sfort said:


> I guess I need to work on my writing. I thought I was perfectly clear. Oh, well.


I thought you were clear.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Sfort said:


> Genealogy is somewhat of a myth. All it takes is one woman who strays, gets pregnant, and conceals the sperm donor from the husband. I know of a woman right now in 2022 who cheated on her husband and had a child. The husband thinks the child is his. He's very much into genealogy. The lineage through him will be incorrectly recorded. Eventually DNA will probably smoke it out, but for now, the written record is erroneous.


Genealogy is not just about genetic relationships. My niece has no idea who her biological father is, nor does my sister (her mother). However, her immediate family and step-father who adopted & raised her is who counts.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Ikaika said:


> My ancestry is all over the place, south pacific, Eastern and Western Europe, whereas my wife’s ancestry is Uchinanchu and Fukuoka Japan. She is both Nisei and Sansei. I have little information about my wife’s roots in Okinawa. I think a lot of records were destroyed in the battle of Okinawa (which my MIL lived through as a pre-teen/teen).


How is it that she is both Nisei and Sansei?


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Ikaika said:


> Some surnames are screwing in the US… when folks were processed through Ellis island and Boston, names were misspelled and often pronounce differently (often truncated) which ended up different than the origins.


Not only there. My sister thinks she traced our family to Sicily based on my paternal grandmother's maiden name. But it appears that the name is a common one among woodworkers in England. Apparently, some Sicilians did immigrate to England and were highly regarded wood workers and the name then began being used to describe others who were master wood workers.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Divinely Favored said:


> They would be 28-29. If their were some. I would not want to throw a wrench into the family dynamic they already had. If it came from the 2 in question, I could always say, hey I'm the guy your mom raped when she got pregnant with you.


In my case the rape charge is not too far from the truth, though I did consent to the "rape". 😁


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

My sister put together a family tree and according to that her research shows we probably have Sicilian background. Given our family tendency to dark skin color, that would be believable. I have a photo of my Father's mother where she looks like the stereotypical Italian upper class. WWII photos of him and his brothers in uniform look more like the Italian army.

My brother did the DNA thing and it came back with no references to Sicilian heritage. More likely the dark skin is Welsh? On the other hand, our daughter was born with a temporary birth mark common in the Mediterranean region.

Dunno, but having a unique dark skin with olive cast has made for interesting experiences as folks try to respond to the ethnicity they assign to me. Lotsa fun.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Julie's Husband said:


> How is it that she is both Nisei and Sansei?


My MIL was born and raised in Okinawa and my FIL was Nisei.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Julie's Husband said:


> In my case the rape charge is not too far from the truth, though I did consent to the "rape". 😁


Remember, "want to" is irrelevant, if you are intoxicated you can not give consent.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Sfort said:


> Genealogy is somewhat of a myth. All it takes is one woman who strays, gets pregnant, and conceals the sperm donor from the husband. I know of a woman right now in 2022 who cheated on her husband and had a child. The husband thinks the child is his. He's very much into genealogy. The lineage through him will be incorrectly recorded. Eventually DNA will probably smoke it out, but for now, the written record is erroneous.


Encourage the hubby to do a 23 and me for the child, so child will grow up knowing their extended family line.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Encourage the hubby to do a 23 and me for the child, so child will grow up knowing their extended family line.


Not a chance.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Sfort said:


> Not a chance.


You have no issue in him being made a cuckold?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> You have no issue in him being made a cuckold?


I don’t know what a cuckold is, but I’m not going to interfere in his personal business. It’s possible he knows and chooses to ignore it. I’m just telling you what I see as an outsider.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Julie's Husband said:


> My sister put together a family tree and according to that her research shows we probably have Sicilian background. Given our family tendency to dark skin color, that would be believable. I have a photo of my Father's mother where she looks like the stereotypical Italian upper class. WWII photos of him and his brothers in uniform look more like the Italian army.
> 
> My brother did the DNA thing and it came back with no references to Sicilian heritage. More likely the dark skin is Welsh? On the other hand, our daughter was born with a temporary birth mark common in the Mediterranean region.
> 
> Dunno, but having a unique dark skin with olive cast has made for interesting experiences as folks try to respond to the ethnicity they assign to me. Lotsa fun.


My grandfather and his twin both have dark completion and grey hair. Mom's side assumed high degree of Choctaw. Aunt took test that came back 40% Greek. That fits the bill also.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Guy who is on the side, while wife is screwing other guys. 
So he is not a friend, just an acquaintance? 

I am just a very justice oriented person, right from wrong. For me it would be wrong to allow that kind of injustice against him to continue without his knowledge.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Pops up "Husband-Wife", then "Third cousins".


Well there was no chance of that ever happening with my (Italian) wife and I.



















Plus no notable surprises, all of my kid are really mine, and I’m related to the people I’m supposed to be related to.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Julie's Husband said:


> My sister put together a family tree and according to that her research shows we probably have Sicilian background. Given our family tendency to dark skin color, that would be believable.


Not all Sicilians are dark skinned.

For example here is a picture of my Sicilian wife's skin, and she is quite pale. As is all of her family (almost all of whom still live in Sicily), who I have met in person and or seen in photographs.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Divinely Favored said:


> Remember, "want to" is irrelevant, if you are intoxicated you can not give consent.


Joking about my experience with aggressive women. My consent was almost an after thought.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Personal said:


> Not all Sicilians are dark skinned.
> 
> For example here is a picture of my Sicilian wife's skin, and she is quite pale. As is all of her family (almost all of whom still live in Sicily), who I have met in person and or seen in photographs.


It seems I'll need to review my stereotypes. I can get fairly pale, but not often that light.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

OnTheRocks said:


> Outside of adopted folks, I don't understand the high interest level some people have in genealogy. Why does it matter what type of mutt you are?


Try watching some of the TV shows like "Finding Your Roots" and you will begin to understand the interest. After you have learned of some distant cousins, find them on social media like Facebook and start communicating with them, you will find your feeling of family has changed. At least that is my experience. Sending photos of their family that your parents saved to them that they never had, will also open your eyes. And then getting family photos of your parents/grandparents that you never had will also change you.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Genealogy is not just about genetic relationships. My niece has no idea who her biological father is, nor does my sister (her mother). However, her immediate family and step-father who adopted & raised her is who counts.


One of the things some don't realize is the nature/nurture argument. The culture you grow up in is partially that which was embedded in your father by his parents and your mother by her parents. Culture, morals, ethics, attitudes toward work, education and saving are all major things in how one lives their life.

Yes, who the people are that raise you is very, very important. Genetics also has a large influence on who you are. For men, how tall you are can make you attractive to more women, help you do well in business, etc. That is often a combination of diet and genetics. Again, your health is also a function of genetics and lifestyle/diet/exercise.


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