# Lost my husband to a cult



## Dustball (May 16, 2012)

Long story short, he was the perfect man, free spirit with nothing but love to give. I am not a catholic (main religion in my country) and since our first date I said I would never consider converting, and he was very ok with it.

Then he entered a cult, he invited me, I went for a few months and was disgusted by many of the things I heard, so I stopped going. So he would go do his thing, then come home and lecture me for 2 hours on what he had discussed in his class. After a couple of weeks, I saw what he was doing and I had to stop him again. This went on and off for about 3 years, he would try to convert me, I would say no, he'd back off for a few months and try again. But the arguments started getting more heated and more frecuent. This year has been the worst. Just last month we fought 3 times about it, and he promised me he would never leave me no matter what, and he kind of dropped the issue. I thought I had finally made my point.

On monday he dropped the bomb. I either walk his spiritual path with him, or we don't walk at all. I had to say no. I can't buy catholic faith in a can. I just can't do it. It would be hypocritical of me to do it. I do have a relationship with God and I can't betray myself in such a way. And who does he think he is to give me such an ultimatum? The constitution in my country gives me the right to believe in papa smurf if I choose.

Deep inside I know it's for the best, right now he in no way resembles the man I married, he is controlling, manipulative and emotionally abusive, all under the religious disguise. I know I'm gonna be better off without him, but the first few days are really bad, I can't avoid crying and throwing fits every 5 minutes, and I have 2 young children that shouldn't see me this way. I don't know where to get the strength to get out of bed.

Thanks, I needed to vent.

Edit: Just for the record, I'm not saying catholicism is a cult, but this cult is sort of catholic based.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Dustball said:


> Long story short, he was the perfect man, free spirit with nothing but love to give. I am not a catholic (main religion in my country) and since our first date I said I would never consider converting, and he was very ok with it.
> 
> Then he entered a cult, he invited me, I went for a few months and was disgusted by many of the things I heard, so I stopped going. So he would go do his thing, then come home and lecture me for 2 hours on what he had discussed in his class. After a couple of weeks, I saw what he was doing and I had to stop him again. This went on and off for about 3 years, he would try to convert me, I would say no, he'd back off for a few months and try again. But the arguments started getting more heated and more frecuent. This year has been the worst. Just last month we fought 3 times about it, and he promised me he would never leave me no matter what, and he kind of dropped the issue. I thought I had finally made my point.
> 
> ...


It sounds exactly just that....you are saying catholism is a cult. No one from the catholic church would pressure you to join. Its your husband not the church. 

I'm not sure what it is that you would be disgusted by in services. Services are scripted from the bible.
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## Dustball (May 16, 2012)

I mean his cult hides behind the scriptures and the catholic doctrine. Things that drove me away: Not being able to donate blood or organs, adopt, help people, take medication or go to the doctor (because all of the above goes against the laws of karma), no orgasm, friendships, talk about the cult, leave the cult, etc.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Dustball said:


> I mean his cult hides behind the scriptures and the catholic doctrine. Things that drove me away: Not being able to donate blood or organs, adopt, help people, take medication or go to the doctor (because all of the above goes against the laws of karma), no orgasm, friendships, talk about the cult, leave the cult, etc.


I'm not sure what catholic church he goes to but I've never experienced any of that or heard of such a thing. I can assure you none of what you mentioned is the teachings of the catholic church even the part of no orgasm if you are married which is teachings of any christian church. As a matter of fact, there's lots of helping in the churches I've been in and there are no negative teachings about any of what you mentioned. Doesn't sound right to me. I'd say if your not comfortable and he's not wanting to leave, I'm not sure there's much one can do other than leave the marriage.
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## Dustball (May 16, 2012)

After 2 weeks of living in a very tense situation, he finally moved out last night. I hate this, divorcing is like many break ups, it makes you hit rock bottom when you talk about divorce, when one of the parties moves out, serving divorce papers, etc. I hate this.


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