# Husband views porn almost daily



## Arianna (Apr 1, 2009)

I love my husband of almost 30 yrs. very much and can't visualize life without him; however his almost daily porn viewing hurts, humiliates and denigrates our relationship as he lies about it. I can understand we are up in age (retired) me since 2 yrs. he since 8 yrs. I try to stay slender and take care of my appearance but an elderly lady 65 yrs. is what it is and I really feel confortable with who I am - nevertheless I feel hurt when he almost daily watches porn featuring 18 year olds and then he gets turned on and wants sex or he masturbates when I am not home. He tells me his sex drive is natural heightened by Flomax which makes one impotent to top it all off! Why does he insult my intelligence with his lies. This is not retirement he is 68 yrs. old and is very proud of his sexual prowess. He puts down the people who take Viagra and hates the viagra and Cialis ads. Isn't he doing the same thing with his porn viewing??? This has been going on for 5 years, I went for counselling which did not help (he refuses to go says he has no problem) I tried talking to him in a non confrontentional way with kindness and love, he just does not see any problem. He says he loves me and does not see any problem. His position is what you do not know won't hurt you. I beg to difer...
I talked to him about it lovingly, explained how it affects me, and he says he won't do it but continues to do it on a regular basis almost daily ( he walks in the living room pardon my french with an erection) and says it is caused by me when I have proof that he is watching Keez Movies and all sorts of porn ... it is especially the lying that hurts. I am at my wit's end - how can I save my marriage short of living parallel lives... that would be sooo sad!
Please share your thoughts and experiences. With appreciation and thank you so much in advance for your help.
Arianna


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Until your husband can truly empathize with you he is unlikely to stop. He sees the viewing of porn as an innocent pass time and not the demoralizing vice as you do. Daily use can pull an addicted partner further and further away for the wonder of the “real thing.” If he is unwilling to change or continues to deny, the next time he comes at you with his battery already charged, deny him and tell you are only interested in sex when you are the one starting his motor. As far as competing with the 18 year olds, don’t worry about it. Not even other 18 year olds can compete with the busty Betties and Jonnie hung latelies they recruit on those sites. As far as his sexual prowess at his age, good for him, but his day will come. It would be nice if he spent his remaining energy with you. Good luck.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Amp is right, at this point he doesn't see it as the destructive thing that it is and until he does, he won't stop.

First you have to get him to even admit he is doing it. He wouldn't be lying about it if he either didn't think it was wrong OR he didn't know that you hated it. Either way he feels guilty so he is lying about it to you.

Once you get him to admit it, then you have to get him to realize how bad it hurts you. 

Amp has a good idea, tell him you would love to have sex with him if you can "get him going" and not the porn.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I feel for you. I fought about porn with my H, too. And like you said, it wasnt the porn that hurt as much as it was all the lying. I pretty much told my H he had to go for help and stop or i was leaving. he said he stopped because he was afraid i would leave, but i think he also stopped because he really wanted too.


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## cherryberry52 (Mar 28, 2010)

I have walked in on my husband numerous times watching porn on the computer, and let me tell you its not the fact that he is actually doing its the fact of what he is watching. Like you said some eighteen skinny little thing. Makes me feel inadaquate


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## pinkprincess (Jun 10, 2008)

I feel for you as well, i am a fitish 26 year old and i would feel the same as you if my husband was watching porn on a regular basis. My husband and I like to watch it together have you tried this? if you dont feel comfy watching 18 year olds (which is fully understandable) maybe you could go to your local sex shop together and find something that is more mature in age.. I agree with the person that said that you should deny him untill YOU are the one charging his battery..


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