# Hi...new here....



## eyecare627 (Mar 26, 2010)

Hello, I am new to this site and in a desperate need to have some friends in this same situation. I have been living apart from my husband of 14 years for 6 months now and am miserable. Not to get into a long, drawnout story of our life, I'll get to the more important details. There had been an infidelity on my part over the last year. We had a rough last 2-3 years, not seeming happy together and finiancially strained. My husband had an affair 7 years into our marriage, which I never really got over so unfortunately I took that as my excuse for my stupidity over the last year. We mutually decided that it was probably the end for us and to move on. I left the house and moved into an apartment 2 miles away. We have two sons as well who took my leaving extremely hard. We share our time mutually and cordially with the boys. I am missing my husband desperatly and would do anything to try to work things out again. Only problem is, he doesnt know that because I'am so afraid of him telling me it doesnt matter and he's done that I just hold it all inside. I'am afraid that he may be seeing someone and it pains me with jealousy. I just want to get my family back and I don't know how!


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## fastclip (Mar 26, 2010)

hi
i am wondering why you left your home.i decided to leave becuase i didnt want my daughter leaving her home.your the mother your husband should be a man and leave you stay in the home with the boys.your husband is the one that ran out and had the affair.two wrongs dont make right.i feel for you .it must be difficult minding the two boys and also dealing with the emotional pain.its hard for you both.i had the support of lots of friends and i used the phone all the time.take care of yourself be good to you.i hope things improve.its a bit like no mands land but eventually the war subsides and there is peace.


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## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

I am sorry that you are in so much pain. If you truly want your husband back that you should confront him and tell him exactly how he feels so that he knows. Until you do, you may not know what he wants. If his decision is not to get back together then at least you know. At that point, you will have get over him and move on. Just let him know how you feel so you can begin talking. Who knows, maybe he's thinking the same thing.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

OK - just to clarify...

His affair was about 7-8 years ago and yours was within the last year?

Is your affair over? When and how did it end?

Did you take the kids to the apartment with you? If not, who is acting as the "primary" parent?

Without knowing much more, I would assume the first thing for you to do is talk to him. You guys survived this once when he strayed, so if you really wanted to work through it you know you could.

He may feel the same way you do. Try talking.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I think maybe you should tell him how you feel. 

Not so much for even the reason he may decide to reconcile. . .but it would give you closure either way.

If you tell him how you feel. . .this is the path that lays before you:

A. He says he feels the same way and you work towards reconciliation. Reconciliation won't be a given. . .but it offers a path for the future. . .a goal.

B. He says he doesn't feel the same way. In which case, I think you'll feel more relieved about moving on. This would be the closure.

Right now you are caught in this limbo.

Just hearing only this (and not an entire life story), I'd say your odds are 50/50.


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