# Do men get tired of the being the one to call all the time?



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Me and my husband have reconsiled from almost divorcing..he moved back home in January. NOw we have just started a long distance marriage for who knows how long



husband is working out of state. hes been there sicne Saturnday and today as his first day of actual work. Instead of him calling me after he got off work, he waited to text me until he was at dinner.

So after texting me at dinner and then not calling me on his way home from dinner, he texts me at home. Then I give the kids a bath and say that I'm getting them ready for bed. I tell him to call me when he is ready. ( he was very pissy in his texts before) Then he says he always calls.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

He just may be tired of doing all the chasing... if you gave him a call I'm sure it would be a pleasant suprise and make him feel more wanted ... long distance can be a real strain.. I know.. I've dealt with it a few times with my H in my relationship.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I have the reverse, blushing bride never answers my calls or texts or responds to voicemail or calls back. I seem to be the only person she does this too. But on those rare occasions she 'reaches out' to call me or text e.g 'you're not in my line of sight where are you and why aren't you here??' OMG if I don't answer or don't hear the phone, better wear a helmet.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Unhappy2011 said:


> When I read the title I thought you were in the early stages of dating.
> 
> So you are married but you never call him?


NO I haven't really called him a lot. Hes a texter and a private person. He has been laid off since the end of January, so I have not needed to call him. We did text all the time even though we were in the same home.Its a good way to send flirty texts and to let eachother know we are thinking of eachother even if we are at opposite ends of the house. 

He just left On saturday morning to travel for work. Before today I didn't know his work hours and its an hour difference to me. 

I did find out why he wants me to call him. He said that when he calls I might be busy with the kids or doing something else and not able to give him my full attention.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Call him because you know when you are free. This eliminates the "Sorry! Busy! Let me call you back!" stuff that may make him feel let down.

Just set a time to always call. 9pm or something.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Call him because you know when you are free. This eliminates the "Sorry! Busy! Let me call you back!" stuff that may make him feel let down.
> 
> Just set a time to always call. 9pm or something.


I never ever told him I was busy, but he did get the hang on type thing. 

I'm just getting used to what his schedule is like and we have not gotten into a schedule groove of when we can talk without kids fighting.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Or, better yet, call in the middle of the evening. Let the kids wait for something. Let the kids entertain themselves for a moment. Put him first.

If the kids are fighting, go to the bathroom and lock the door and laugh about it. Kids gotta learn that they aren't always #1. Daddy is a big priority. Make him one for you AND them.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Or, better yet, call in the middle of the evening. Let the kids wait for something. Let the kids entertain themselves for a moment. Put him first.
> 
> If the kids are fighting, go to the bathroom and lock the door and laugh about it. Kids gotta learn that they aren't always #1. Daddy is a big priority. Make him one for you AND them.


I agree with what your saying. My husband never felt like priorty before our seperation and now I try to make him feel like priorty.

Now that I know is schedule it might be a little easier. we have from 4:30 to 9pm and thats all Mon-sat


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Make him a priority. The kids won't melt. They will be fine. Their needs are met and they don't have to have everything at that moment. My 3 year old is learning patience. She hates it, but I have to teach it to her or she'll be some obnoxious, spoiled creature.

When Hubs gets home, he plays with her a bit and then it's our time to talk. Our older daughter is around too but into 'her thing'. My 3 year old interrupts but we just stop and say, "no, this is mommy and daddy time. Not your time." and she's learning to "wait her turn". It's a hard thing for these younger generations to grasp-- no, you aren't the center of the universe.

Just call him (when you know he's off work) and start out with , 'I was just thinking about you and thought I'd give you a call before my nightly duties"....talk a few minutes and then promise to call back when you get the kids in bed.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i think im going to go in another direction...

unfortunately the way things sound since your 'reconciliation', doesnt sound like he is much into it really and that is extending to this time of his absence of his.

sounds like you are putting up with a lot of crap in order to keep him around.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I agree with you, 2nd, however, she doesn't want to give up so I was trying to give her ways to deal with him since she did cheat too.

Sooo much dysfunction here though  Y'all need to back off, I think and work on yourselves.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I agree with you, 2nd, however, she doesn't want to give up so I was trying to give her ways to deal with him since she did cheat too.
> 
> Sooo much dysfunction here though  Y'all need to back off, I think and work on yourselves.


the thing is that women get past the cheating usually much easier than men.
men hold more of a grudge for it.
lots more marriages end over a woman cheating than the man.
i think that may be whats going on.
but there is definitely something going on where i dont think he is wanting to work on this and is creating tension purposely.


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