# Wife wants to do it all the time



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

She wants to do it seemingly constantly. When I came home from a long day, within an hour, she wanted to do it. A couple of days later, about the same thing, and sometimes she's in the mood even more than once a day. She seemingly wants to do it in various places, some quite inappropriate, and tried to do it in the car, at a party, even with my parents in the next room. Once or twice a week could be all right, but this. What do I do. No, it's not sex, (that would be great) but nagging. 
How do you tell her I am not in the mood and do not what to do this now. Women seem to be able to say I am not in the mood for sex, and men have to respect that; how do you explain the converse. 

And how do you explain that doing this in public is inappropriate and can be demeaning for the man. Any help from men or women would be appreciated.


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

im in the same boat. My wife is pretty reserved though and christian so no public issues. And its attention too, she seems to want constant attention which may be what much of the sex is about she wants more attention.
i have no idea what to do. i was told i need to suck it up among other varying responses (codependent and fear of abandonment) which im still considering. 
It isnt really a totally bad thing, some guys dont get sex and get no attention. I think it is a matter of the added stress on you from the constant neediness.


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## kansasdude (Jul 4, 2012)

Bobby5000 said:


> She wants to do it seemingly constantly. When I came home from a long day, within an hour, she wanted to do it. A couple of days later, about the same thing, and sometimes she's in the mood even more than once a day. She seemingly wants to do it in various places, some quite inappropriate, and tried to do it in the car, at a party, even with my parents in the next room. Once or twice a week could be all right, but this. What do I do. No, it's not sex, (that would be great) but nagging.
> How do you tell her I am not in the mood and do not what to do this now. Women seem to be able to say I am not in the mood for sex, and men have to respect that; how do you explain the converse.
> 
> And how do you explain that doing this in public is inappropriate and can be demeaning for the man. Any help from men or women would be appreciated.


tell her how you feel


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Compromise. Do it every other day...and do it awesomely WILD!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Bobby5000 said:


> She wants to do it seemingly constantly. When I came home from a long day, within an hour, she wanted to do it. A couple of days later, about the same thing, and sometimes she's in the mood even more than once a day. She seemingly wants to do it in various places, some quite inappropriate, and tried to do it in the car, at a party, even with my parents in the next room. Once or twice a week could be all right, but this. What do I do. No, it's not sex, (that would be great) but nagging.
> How do you tell her I am not in the mood and do not what to do this now. Women seem to be able to say I am not in the mood for sex, and men have to respect that; how do you explain the converse.
> 
> And how do you explain that doing this in public is inappropriate and can be demeaning for the man. Any help from men or women would be appreciated.


You don`t explain it.
The fact that you feel this needs to be "explained" is why you`re being disrespected.

What you do is "Don`t accept it".
This will build respect and she won`t do it anymore OR she`s just a horrible ***** that will give you no peace until you leave her.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Even more than once a day? Oh, the horrors!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Your post really had me going , I thought you meant SEX, that was a good one! 

She needs to understand MEN desire respect from their wives, this is wearing you down, you can not change her, but you can change your reactions TO HER and the nagging. 

But also, what is she wanting from you, what is she dumping on you about day after day...are their needs you are neglecting .....please also evaluate yourself in these things....work with each other - to please the other so nagging can be replaced with *gratitude* for what each brings to the marraige. 

9 Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife

Nagging - A Guide to the Opposite Sex


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Your post really had me going , I thought you meant SEX, that was a good one!
> 
> She needs to understand MEN desire respect from their wives, this is wearing you down, you can not change her, but you can change your reactions TO HER and the nagging.
> 
> ...


LOL!!

i totally missed that. i thought he meant sex!!!!
i should have watched the wording a little more carefully...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

bribrius said:


> LOL!!
> 
> i totally missed that. i thought he meant sex!!!!
> i should have watched the wording a little more carefully...


 Oh it happens!

That is why I clicked on it -cause I was LIKE THAT, I don't think I was ever too much of a outright irritating nagger (maybe he'd disagree in the past) ... but boy when I wanted sex if he didn't give it to me, I would have been. Ha ha ... I never needed to nag though -he was happy to oblige- thank God, or that would have gotten old and I would have been Pi**ed !

This would be a great book to read together, she needs to understand how important *RESPECT* is to a man.... everything hinges on this, even Love.

 Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs : Emerson Eggerichs: Books

Respect Revisited | Femina: For Wives


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

sounds like you have some issues, but you are in the right place for that. 

it was actually this "No, it's not sex, (that would be great) but nagging. "
i thought he meant it differently, as in the sexual advances were so bad it wasnt even sex but nagging.
But looking in the parenthesis he meant it for exactly what it is worded.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Speechless


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

My wife has never EVER nagged... if she did, I'd COMPLETELY ignore her....


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## DiZ (May 15, 2012)

Bobby5000 said:


> She wants to do it seemingly constantly. When I came home from a long day, within an hour, she wanted to do it. A couple of days later, about the same thing, and sometimes she's in the mood even more than once a day. She seemingly wants to do it in various places, some quite inappropriate, and tried to do it in the car, at a party, even with my parents in the next room. Once or twice a week could be all right, but this. What do I do. No, it's not sex, (that would be great) but nagging.
> How do you tell her I am not in the mood and do not what to do this now. Women seem to be able to say I am not in the mood for sex, and men have to respect that; how do you explain the converse.
> 
> And how do you explain that doing this in public is inappropriate and can be demeaning for the man. Any help from men or women would be appreciated.


Your wife validates herself with sex. I used to be that way and sometimes still am but it's getting better. I used to think if I am not attractive to him and if he doesn't want me then I am not woman enough and no good. Are you giving her enough attention? That may be the problem.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

bribrius said:


> sounds like you have some issues, but you are in the right place for that.


 No, I can't say we are having any issues, I just like to talk about marraige, we've been together 30 yrs (married 22) ... we've missed it in some ways (don't we all)... pretty much all sexual...and had this busted wide open in the last 3 yrs... .I only wished that happened many yrs earlier....

Like I say...I didn't have to nag, he wanted it too  ...even though he had a little bit of a struggle keeping up .... That was all a great blessing to our marraige in reality - brought us closer than we ever felt -like a Honeymoon revisted. Our 40's have been the best years yet.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Exactly what does it mean when you say she is "nagging?"

If she is bugging you about stuff you agreed to do, then you are not communicating clearly with each other. 

Wife: "Hey, could you clean up that mess you just made in the kitchen?"
Husband: "Yeah, ok."

3 hours pass.

Wife: "I thought you were going to clean up after yourself?""
Husband: "I said I'd get to it; would you stop nagging?"

VS. this:

Wife:" Could you clean up that mess you made in the kitchen within the next hour."

H: "yes" or "no, i want to finish xyz, but I will get to it before 2 pm."

Mean what you say and say what you mean.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

enoughisenough said:


> But do you stonewall? If I raise anything, my husband will not enter into discussion but will stonewall or shut down the conversation. But I have important stuff to share. In the face of the brick wall, voicing that, having a one way conversation because the other person will not engage, by default becomes nagging. I hate it.



Good point. I've never stonewalled, but at times have forgotten to do the task, but when she reminds me its sorta a "Sweetie... did you forget (task)"


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

It's about nagging. I was trying to be a little funny, but I'll let you guys decide if I was successful.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Bobby5000 said:


> It's about nagging. I was trying to be a little funny, but I'll let you guys decide if I was successful.


 You had me, and I thought it was pretty creative & yeah... funny too.  

But we all want to hear...or try to understand......WHAT she is nagging you about ?? are there things you are not doing that could reduce her nagging -- think a little critical now on yourself, examine yourself.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

This sounds great

but i understand where you are coming from there have been times when i want little sex and my wife wants sex. Its not fair i guess in a way women cant understand when a man does not want sex they get like upset (from my experience) but men are supposed to respect women when they dont want to have sex. 

Not fair we spend a good portion of our life being turned down by our loved ones than they reach their sexual peak and want it all the time and its not fair.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bribrius said:


> im in the same boat. My wife is pretty reserved though and christian so no public issues. And its attention too, she seems to want constant attention which may be what much of the sex is about she wants more attention.
> i have no idea what to do. i was told i need to suck it up among other varying responses (codependent and fear of abandonment) which im still considering.
> It isnt really a totally bad thing, some guys dont get sex and get no attention. I think it is a matter of the added stress on you from the constant neediness.


You were told by some, me included, that you have to suck it up because of your beliefs. You said that your belief system is that sex is an obligation/duty of marriage. That no was not acceptable ever from a spouse when it comes to sex. This is the standard to which you hold her. So you have to be held to the same standard.

For most people, who do not believe as you do.. who believe that spouses have individual rights, the advice would be to negotiate a frequency of sex that works for both of you.

For the extra attention your wife needs find none sexual ways to give her attention.

Also you would be advised to go to a marriage counselor, probably one who specializes in sex therapy, and have the therapist help the two of you deal with this. 

YOur wife probably also needs individual couseling as it seems that that she things sex is the only way to get the attention and love she needs. She needs to find new ways of handling her needs.


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## bribrius (Jun 29, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> You were told by some, me included, that you have to suck it up because of your beliefs. You said that your belief system is that sex is an obligation/duty of marriage. That no was not acceptable ever from a spouse when it comes to sex. This is the standard to which you hold her. So you have to be held to the same standard.
> 
> For most people, who do not believe as you do.. who believe that spouses have individual rights, the advice would be to negotiate a frequency of sex that works for both of you.
> 
> ...


that was a thread hijack. But im not asking her to go back to counseling. she doesnt want to go. But i do think i have part of the problem figured out. carry to other thread...


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I was fooled too. I had my cyber bat ready to hit you with it. Nice set up.

Nagging is turrrrrrrrrble.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Goldmember357 said:


> Not fair we spend a good portion of our life being turned down by our loved ones than they reach their sexual peak and want it all the time and its not fair.





> Its not fair i guess in a way women cant understand when a man does not want sex they get like upset (from my experience) but men are supposed to respect women when they dont want to have sex.


 It's not fair ! :iagree::iagree::iagree: Personally, given our mistakes in this, how we missed each other ... I feel both sexes should lovingly GIVE when the other is feeing it & craves that connection....unless one is too tired or physically ill. I still get mad at myself for not being there for my husband as much as he needed -but it wasn't all my fault.  

I have much to teach our daughter about this cruel Joke God plays on the sexes...to go out or her way to please her man in his youth....so when she steps into these high-driving shoes, he will happily be there to take care of her when she is in need. 

That is the way it ought to be...when we deeply love & care for our spouses.


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

My first thought was "cry me a river"

Then I read how seemingly excessive/thrill seeking her behavior was.

Sounds like an addiction/coping mechanism, is she a victim of past abuse?


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