# Is it normal for my husband to have contact with his ex-wife?



## hubbys baby

Hi, Im knew here....
I have a question, how much is normal for my husband to have contact with his ex-wife? They have a child together...but they seem to talk alot..even if its not about their child. she calls him alot, not sure if he calls her...I thought that when you had an ex you only talked about the kids...? Am I wrong in that, and please feel free to let me know. I need all the advice that i can get. Thanks.


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## euphoria

Why don't you know if he is calling her. Can you get his phone records? How long have you been married? Sounds like you have some snooping to do.


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## Sensitive

My husband has way too much contact with his ex. He claims the relationship is just for the daughter, and she is just a relative he dislikes. On the other hand, she is not remarried, and may be in love with him still. Recently, they joined a new hobby together. Now that the daughter is 18 and graduated, I still can't be relieved that the ex-wife is out of the picture. She now sees him 3 hours per week, without me, and without daughter. Now I feel pretty stupid. Maybe I was always second best. It is not uncommon or unhealthy to maintain friendly relations to co-parent. I just need to define where the line is.


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## GAsoccerman

I know two couples who are divorced, their kids are on my sport teams, but the ex-s all show up to the games and sit with each other and watch the games, so the husband is there with his girlfriend, the wife is there with her boy friend and they all sit there and watcht he gaems together.

I admire they get along and joke around to benefit the child.


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## dcrim

When my wife and I seperated...I didn't see her at all. 

Once, several years ago, she came to see our daughter in MD and stopped by my apartment. That was the only contact in 13+ years. 

She died this past January. 

Relationships with exs is up to the people involved. And, to some extent, their SOs. If SO is uncomfortable, then no contact. They're an ex for a reason.


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## humpty dumpty

To be honest as much as it hurts you ,they have to have contact .. children are so much happier if the adults can deal with seeing each with out fighting .

Id say its fine as long as you get youe time together alone .


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## preso

It really depends on the people and situation, also the ages of the kids.

My husbands kids are older so he has no reason to have any contact with his ex...
although back a few years ago when we met, she would often call him on his cell and ask he return her call. Each time he did it was total nonsense, so he stopped returning her calls.

I was fortunate his ex was so full of nonsense because if she were nice and real in her calls, he may have kept talking to her.
But because of how she was, he cut off all communication, which was fine with me.
I think lots of ex's use the kids to manipulate the fathers, cause trouble in their new relationships, so you should speak to your husband about that... and his feelings about it.
Its even better to do this BEFORE you marry someone.


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## msadorable

I don't see why he have that much to conversate about..unless they have kids...other than talking about the kids....Not so OKAY!


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## preso

I don't think I mentioned...
if my H was talking to his ex a lot... I'd be very perplexed about it... even if his kids were little.
The exception would be a newborn with health problems, then I could see it... but otherwise, that he hell is he talking to her for hours about?
thats kinda crazy !........... he needs to look at the fact he has a new life now and to live accordingly. I'm sure if it were reversed and it was you talking to an old boyfriend or husband for hours on end, he wouldn't like it

which brings to mind, I dated someone like that once, he was with me and for many months, always talking to some girl on the phone. Come to find out, it was an ex and I didn't like it and it was a source of problems for us. 

Guess he couldn't let go or something.
Who knows, but he was "creepy pathetic guy" in my book.. and how I will always think about him as that, because of the stuff like that he would do.
He was wacked out for sure.


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## hubbys baby

Thanks for all the replies,, I really appreciate it.. .Now, about his daughter, she is a very spoiiled 8 yr old. She always gets what she wants becuz they want her to be happy. I have an 8 year old daughter as well, who is a very caring child. They get along for the most part, but the other one is very jealous of all of us, and we try to include my stepdaughter in everything. I want to know how to get more balance in our lives and somewhat of a more peaceful home situation...as Im sure i am looked at as the Evil stepmother...
Are their any other step moms out here that have some suggestions for me? I am out of ideas.....


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