# Was it just a "drunk" text?



## JRE (Mar 8, 2013)

Ok this has been bothering me for a long time. I know we got to pick and choose our battles and all that, but for some reason I cannot get this out of my mind even though it has been like 8 months. I have been married for 5 months, and before we got married my husband (then fiance) texted his brother while very drunk this message "how did you get so lucky with your life and how did I mess up mine so bad?" This is from a man that was supposed to be in the happiest time of his life. Ready to marry me ect... and he texted that. I asked him the next morning about it and he said he did it cause we were fighting and he was drunk. We moved on to marry and seem happy, but for some reason I cannot get it out of my head. Why would he say that if he was truly happy with us?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

if everything's honky dory except for that one instance I'd treat it as a mood swing/alcohol induced depression and not worry. It may not even have to do with you at all, perhaps your BIL is more successful in is job or something else like that?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

That would REALLY bug me too!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> if everything's honky dory except for that one instance I'd treat it as a mood swing/alcohol induced depression and not worry. It may not even have to do with you at all, perhaps your BIL is more successful in is job or something else like that?


:iagree: definitely this. Have you ever written really negative stuff in a journal then went back,read it and thought "what the heck was wrong with me? my life was perfect when I wrote this"

I'd consider the text as just a bad moment that shouldn't be taken seriously UNLESS there are other things going on that would lead you to believe the text was a big deal.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

he said "he" messed his up...no mention of you. and if he was drunk and thats the worst he said you should be counting your blessings.

drunk, fighting with wife. it's either gonna be woe is me, my life sux, or forget my wife who's that chick at the bar.


you're over analyzing.


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## JRE (Mar 8, 2013)

lol thanks- I figured I've been over-reacting for 8 months


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Because people who are drunk often feel sorry for themselves and think everyone has a perfect life and they don't.

Assuming that situation hasn't resurfaced since, I would let it go.


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## ALWAYS TRYING (Mar 2, 2013)

Well I can see my son texting that same message today. Got a great gal but other things in his life suck. Did you ask him then what was so sucky about his life? Did he say anything to reassure you it wasn't you? 

Because this was before you married and he has not given you anything to worry about since (I'm assuming) then maybe let it go. But if you guys are having spats then I would get to the bottom of why life sucks. And once you have answers then you can work on them. Right now you are only assuming its you.


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## Blue Firefly (Mar 6, 2013)

He may not have even been referring to you. It could have been college, travel, career...anything.

I had a dream as a young man of being a professional drummer in a rock band. One of the thoughts that went through my head on my wedding day was "well, I guess I'll never be a rock star drummer." 

Marriage, for me, was about committing to a direction for my life (being a husband, father, working a steady job, etc...). That commitment also meant I was committing to giving up some of my youthful dreams (hiking through Europe with only a backpack, being a rock star, etc...). 

I wouldn't worry about the text.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Even if he was referring to your relationship you said at the time you were fighting so at the TIME he felt like he SCREWED up and being really drunk he was exaggerating /being a drama king by saying his "life"...

So maybe his answer that because you were fighting and he was drunk is the "correct" answer?..Having a "bad day or even week/ + really drunk can come out like its the end of the world/the sky is falling and everyone is going to DIE!


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

I wouldn't worry,how many big things have you done in life and 
have been some what afraid.For a male to have some second thoughts and fear before marriage is not unusual.

Its a big life changing commitment.If your marriage is good
don't worry and put your energy in being a good wife.

Put your energy into the here and now.Show him every day
he didn't make a mistake in marrying you.You think about
what he texted,but hes long forgotten it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

JRE said:


> We moved on to marry and seem happy, but for some reason I cannot get it out of my head. Why would he say that if he was truly happy with us?


Because he was drunk and upset when he said it.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

JRE said:


> he said he did it cause we were fighting and he was drunk. We moved on to marry and seem happy, but for some reason I cannot get it out of my head. Why would he say that if he was truly happy with us?


He was UNhappy when you were fighting. That doesn't mean his permanent state of mind is unhappy. As others said, he might have had other things that were also dragging him down at that time. Plus, he was drinking, which magnifies everything.

I wouldn't worry about it if it's months later and he seems happy otherwise.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> That doesn't mean his permanent state of mind is unhappy.


EXACTLY!! Especially if hes not permanently drunk and they aren't permanently fighting!


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## Fledgling (Feb 3, 2013)

It could even be that he felt like a big screw up and that he was letting you down. Not that you were the problem. Guys are just as capable of having low-self-esteem as women and, contrary to what women like to think of men, they do know often times when they've screwed up something really good. Let it go.


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## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

Blue Firefly said:


> He may not have even been referring to you. It could have been college, travel, career...anything.
> 
> I had a dream as a young man of being a professional drummer in a rock band. One of the thoughts that went through my head on my wedding day was "well, I guess I'll never be a rock star drummer."
> 
> ...


^^ This. Win.


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