# How is your marriage?



## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Are all of your marriages as troubled as those I read about here? As I posted elsewhere, coming here makes me sad. The worst that happened in my 40 year marriage was an argument that resulted in the silent treatment for two days. We had no drama like what I read here. I have to wonder if the fact that my wife and I fell in love at first sight; literally because we were engaged 3 weeks after we met, had something to do with it. 

I wonder if most people experience love as we do. It allows us to overlook each other's faults and the small stuff. It makes us want to compromise when we disagree. Perhaps the fact that we never had kids plays into this and we did not let other people's drama enter our lives. We also recogniE that we are human and are going to sometimes be lead by emotions and brain chemistry so we cut each other a little slack when it comes to monogamy. When you know that your spouse will never leave you, there is no jealousy or insecurity. 

My married life has been a fun adventure so maybe there is something wrong with us? Probably it is because this site attracts mostly the troubled. Still, it just seems that many things o read her should not happen to a loving couple. I need to find a place where the talk about marriage is more positive. :frown2: How is your marriage?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

My marriage is fine. However, that is partly because I proactively went looking for ways to improve it when it seemed to be going on a slight downhill trajectory; if I had remained unaware of the rules of intersexual behavior I might have ended up here in a much worse situation.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*What marriage?*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

My marriage is just fine, too. A fact for which I am grateful every day, partly because of some of the stories I've read here. Nothing like these kind of forums to make you more fully appreciate what you have.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
since this is a place where people discuss problems with their marriages, it gives a very biased idea of what most are like. Its like walking into a hospital and deciding that a lot of people are gravely ill.

To answer your question, my >25 year marriage would be fantastic if it were not for the unfixable problem with our LD/HD sex life.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> since this is a place where people discuss problems with their marriages, it gives a very biased idea of what most are like. Its like walking into a hospital and deciding that a lot of people are gravely ill.
> 
> To answer your question, my >25 year marriage would be fantastic if it were not for the unfixable problem with our LD/HD sex life.


"Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

ours it great, and we too are very flexible when it comes to monogamy.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

My marriage is the stuff of dreams. Still early days, I suppose - only 16 years. Had to dump the prior one to get here though, but it was worth it. The topic about long term success in marriage is one of the smaller ones here, but then, most people only come here when they need help with problems.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Great, except for the wife.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

john117 said:


> Great, except for the wife.


:laugh: Damn, beat me to it.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I have a great marriage and a great wife. The sex is a little low, but it's great when we do it. Celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in May.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Not so much of a marriage as much as a Mexican standoff - but i wouldn't have it any other way - the adrenalin does wonders for me. My wife is stronger than me anyway and scares the sh!t out of me sometimes.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Mine will be over in May, August the latest. I'm never getting married again! Suckers!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So you come here where people are obviously here for help with their marriages and brag about your 5000+ threesomes in most of your posts, how great your 40 yr marriage is, what a super stud you were, and now are complaining that the forum isn't positive enough?

I just don't see what your purpose is other than to tell everyone about your sexual exploits and relive the past.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> So you come here where people are obviously here for help with their marriages and brag about your 5000+ threesomes in most of your posts, how great your 40 yr marriage is, what a super stud you were, and now are complaining that the forum isn't positive enough?
> 
> I just don't see what your purpose is other than to tell everyone about your sexual exploits and relive the past.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think he's trying to say all of our marriages suck or failed because we didn't bang multiple people at the same time or have three girls on the side.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Good, 

boundaries in place, quality time together, dates, read His Needs, Her Needs, etc.

It just doesn't happen plus neither of us put up with any sh!t. 

No fvckbook


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

OliviaG said:


> My marriage is great, although midlife is throwing some curves our way (which is what brought me here). I'm very thankful for my marriage and family.


I share the same sentiments as @OliviaG. Main difference, she is entering the golden years of her life, I am not close yet >


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

GuyInColorado said:


> I think he's trying to say all of our marriages suck or failed because we didn't bang multiple people at the same time or have three girls on the side.


This seems to have worked wonders in my village in the old country...


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

We have overcome some seriously rough stuff into such tenderness, love, best friends, true partners that its almost hard to wrap my brain around where we were and where we are now.


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## Outside Again (Feb 1, 2016)

Mine has a lot of problems in the short time it's been (year and a half)

I want to throw up a post about it, but part of me is afraid that she'd find it. I guess oh well if she did,huh?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

a lot of people get married because that's 'just what you do'. it's the cultural formula that we follow without thinking it through as much as we should

a lot of people get married because they want to, or they want to 'posses' that person but they're really not marriage material.
they don't have the maturity, selflessness or seriousness to become a good husband or wife.

a lot of people get married thinking it will be wonderful, and marriage actually turns out to be 
much more difficult than they thought and they're not willing to put in the work it takes.

and a lot of people get married to the people above.

so, is it any wonder that there are so many marital problems? not really, in fact, it's a wonder there isn't more.

i think the basic success to marriage is finding someone 'compatible' to you. when you find someone truly compatible, it can be blissful and everything a marriage should be.

it's a lot harder to do than you might think, but then again, there are a significant amount of happy people out there, so something is working.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Vinnydee said:


> Are all of your marriages as troubled as those I read about here? As I posted elsewhere, coming here makes me sad. The worst that happened in my 40 year marriage was an argument that resulted in the silent treatment for two days. We had no drama like what I read here. I have to wonder if the fact that my wife and I fell in love at first sight; literally because we were engaged 3 weeks after we met, had something to do with it.
> 
> I wonder if most people experience love as we do. It allows us to overlook each other's faults and the small stuff. It makes us want to compromise when we disagree. Perhaps the fact that we never had kids plays into this and we did not let other people's drama enter our lives. We also recogniE that we are human and are going to sometimes be lead by emotions and brain chemistry so we cut each other a little slack when it comes to monogamy. When you know that your spouse will never leave you, there is no jealousy or insecurity.
> 
> My married life has been a fun adventure so maybe there is something wrong with us? Probably it is because this site attracts mostly the troubled. Still, it just seems that many things o read her should not happen to a loving couple. I need to find a place where the talk about marriage is more positive. :frown2: How is your marriage?


The site is "Talk About Marriage." That means all aspects of marriage. The good, bad and ugly. Not sure what you expected. Congratulations on having an argument free marriage. Maybe your W was just not up for arguing? 

You are free to roam the internet for a site that makes your all jello inside. :smile2:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

jorgegene said:


> a lot of people get married because that's 'just what you do'. it's the cultural formula that we follow without thinking it through as much as we should
> 
> a lot of people get married because they want to, or they want to 'posses' that person but they're really not marriage material.
> they don't have the maturity, selflessness or seriousness to become a good husband or wife.
> ...


Completely agreed. As I have said, we need to get to a point where everyone is not expected to get married, it is ok if you do not (and more importantly there are people who should never get married, nothing wrong with that). How many times does a couple get asked the question "When are you getting married?" (especially if they have been together a while but not married). It is just ingrained in our culture, for better or worse.

So we are at the point where there are a portion of people who get married b/c that is what "adults" do. Add to it the growing temptations in society and ease of which you can access (thanks to social media such as Tinder, FB, Pornhub, MILFHunter, etc...), and it is no wonder marriages that were already on shaking footing seem to fall apart that much quicker.

I also think a lot of couples don't truly understand the amount of time/effort in your relationship that gets reallocated to kids when you have.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Like Trump's hair.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

im_tam said:


> Like Trump's hair.


Beautiful and Vibrant?


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

More like no one can figure out what the hell it is.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

john117 said:


> This seems to have worked wonders in my village in the old country...


Dr. Nerdlove says before about 10k years ago, people lived in tribes and polyamory was common. Maybe like your village?


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

People generally come here that have problems with their marriages so perhaps you would be happier with a different sight. For many, many reasons my marriage has been awful and I've spent years trying to find a way to end it that would be tolerable for me financially and that would allow me to take the kids away from the toxic environment they face at home. Society views the man is always the source of martial problems, so when the woman is the source, they are no ways available for him to get out of the marriage that don't involve him risking his financial future for the rest of his life.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Pretty good. Regular ups and downs but very satisfying.

Managed to be happy without sticking my penis in other women or having her banged by another man or playing with another woman.

That would have made us sad. Your life makes me sad.

Glad you are happy though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Pretty good. Regular ups and downs but very satisfying.
> 
> Managed to be happy without sticking my penis in other women or having her banged by another man or playing with another woman.
> 
> ...



I wonder how that works?

"Honey, I want be home for dinner, I'm going out with the guy from work with huge wang."


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I am surprised to announce that our marriage is fantastic. Just like the old days! It's 2009 to early 2015 I have absolutely no explanation for .


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I love my wife and our marriage is good, as we define it. After 21 years it is still passionate. However passionate does not mean perfect. And, frankly perfect is boring. We have not had the huge and truly heart breaking issues of some folks on TAM, but we have had our moments. 

We both argue our cases passionately (not physically or unfair) just as much as we makeup and are sorry passionately. Folks I don't care about I am dispassionate with as opposed to those I truly love and would die for. So, perfect? No. Passionate? You bet. Is that good? For us it is, it works for us. Passionate also means keep intimacy for us alone. Again, that works best for us. 

One last thing, I discovered (recently), the best way for me to be a good father to my sons, is to first and foremost be a great husband to my wife. Of course that in and of itself can fill gigabytes of a server to define. It is not always what you think, but in the end it works for us. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Our relationship is very health, happy and loving. We have a wonderful life together.


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## Lukedog (Nov 18, 2015)

it's a lot harder to do than you might think, but then again, there are a significant amount of happy people out there, so something is working.[/QUOTE]


They found the compatible ones....


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## Annie123 (Apr 27, 2015)

im_tam said:


> more like no one can figure out what the hell it is.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have so much sex. Between my wife, Righty Tighty, and Lefty Lucy, I'm exhausted.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

jld said:


> Dr. Nerdlove says before about 10k years ago, people lived in tribes and polyamory was common. Maybe like your village?


Nah, we have TV and running water and all that.

People were doing it like bunnies and nobody cared.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

No, I say those things to people who feel they are morally superior and yet post about how lousy their marriages are living under their own morality. I have a message that much of what causes marriages to fail is an adherence to what we think marriage should be. I say that i can have sex with two women at one time, other girlfriends and still have a very good marriage and good life. I am trying to let people know that you can design your own marriage to fit you and no matter how you life it, it can be good, loving and fun. In the end, my message is that sex is not what makes a good marriage but yet, is one of the top reasons why a marriage is destroyed. I let people know that I am sexually free as is my wife and it has no effect on our marriage and love for each other because we do not elect to make it so. And yes, I am proud that I had that many threesomes and the love of two women and not have the problems some do with having just a one night stand. So many people are still hung up on sex and ownership of their spouses that they are trying to live a marriage under old rules that do not work that well these days. 

Naturally most of our friends led non traditional lives. I have left off a lot of things we did in our marriage not is not as mainstream as threesomes. What we all have in common is that we design our marriage to fit ourselves and set realistic requirements. We know that we will be attracted to others and will make made choices when emotions come into play. We also know that we can love more than one person and sex does not have to be just for making love. I get into people's faces and despite your opinion, I do get a lot of likes on my posts. My life is an open book and I AM proud of it. I have been very successful in my profession and in my personal/married life. I am not bragging, I am showing how outrageous you can be and still have a good and happy marriage. You sound a little jealous.


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## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> I have to wonder if the fact that my wife and I fell in love at first sight; literally because we were engaged 3 weeks after we met, had something to do with it.


That typically predicts marital failure, not success. We can predict (with near certainty) whether or not a couple will divorce, just by how they dated.

That said, statistics are just statistics.


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