# What Have I Done?



## Seth78 (Jan 6, 2017)

I don't know whats up with my wife lately but I don't have a very good feeling about it. Just one of those instinctual gut feelings you know? Well I guess it just comes along with being a husband the 'husband instincts', and they seem to be going off lately. I guess u could call it similar to a 'gaydar' She's been telling me about this guy she's recently connected with from her college days. I think is name was Arlo or something.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

Why is the title of this thread "What have I done?" ?

Did you _do_ anything?

Sounds like you just have a bad feeling about something. Unless she only talks about him in terms that are obvious the dude was friendzoned and she's talked about him before in passing or relating old stories, then I'd say your instincts seem healthy.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

can you explain a little more, for example, where is this located? is there a chance they will see each other? has her dressing up changed? is there missing time? is she on the phone and computer selectively ? how long have you been married, kids? how has your marriage been? has she done this in the past? how old is she?


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Arlo Guthrie?


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Seth,

Keep quiet and snoop check the phone bill, put a gps on her car, etc.

Play dumb for now. People from her past have an enormous charm which is quite powerful.

Tamat


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Seth78 said:


> I don't know whats up with my wife lately but I don't have a very good feeling about it. Just one of those instinctual gut feelings you know? Well I guess it just comes along with being a husband the 'husband instincts', and they seem to be going off lately. I guess u could call it similar to a 'gaydar' She's been telling me about this guy she's recently connected with from her college days. I think is name was Arlo or something.



Might be a sh*t test. Might be her trying to get in your head and make you feel jealous because she does not feel loved. That feeling could be your fault, or her own neurosis--you have not given much information.

The right way to respond to these test is to not fall for them. If you are falling short in doing your job as the man of the house and husband in any dimensions, fix that. But don't be jealous. It will satisfy her at first, but then leave you seeming weak.

If he does not fade into the background to the same level as all of her past friends, then that might be an EA or is certainly at risk of turning into one any minute. 

If she stops talking about him, but you know they are still talking privately and frequently--that would be worrisome.

Then there is thread. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

But a word of caution. Surveilling your spouse is a Pandora's Box.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Gonna need a lot more details to go on. 

in what circumstances did they reconnect? How often does she bring him up? Real life reconnection or online? Was a he friend or boyfriend? How long ago was her college?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

We won't have a clue until you tell us.

Want us to start guessing?


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Seth78 said:


> I think is name was Arlo or something.




Probably best not to give out real names; to protect your privacy and anonymity


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