# Returning to therapy and seeing a Lawyer next week. mrx



## JAYBLACK973 (Feb 21, 2011)

I'm returning to therapy next week and seeing a Lawyer. I tried to make things better between my Wife and I but the women I've loved for 16yrs is totally gone. She does nothing but lie and try a hurt my feelings at times and is truly unwilling to try.I asked her if she really wants to end things without knowing you exhausted all avenues before divorce and her response is i just dont feel like it. What actually gives them the right to toss their marriage in the trash like garbage. I feel so down at times even when my friends and family try their best to cheer me up. I don't sleep and when i do i really don't want to get out of bed. I feel like i need to get a lawyer because she has been lying a lot more lately and my trust for her has faded away. I had hoped that we could do things on our own but i dont think so


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Hey ,
Do not try to work things out on your own or between yourselfs without some sort of legal "stamp" , otherwise words between you and stbxw mean nothing , if it isnt on paper and confirmed by a lawyer or court, it will most likely disolve like fart in the wind if she decides to change her mind . 
Remember , your marriage is no longer there , she doesnt want it to work , now you are on your own , think whats best for you and your children (if any) because she will make things very difficult for you and trust me she will NOT feel bad about it. I am in the middle of separation agreement right now and it is like ..."who to fk is that person"? It just blows my mind what kind of BS they come up with just to get their way . Be strong , have some sort of plan , get a lawyer , ask,ask,ask what options do you have , have 2 ,3 scenarios of how do you see separation/divorce agreement , keep your face straight (thats the hardest part ) . I totally understand what you going through , we all do on here and when you read what others say here , Iam sure you will find some positive feedback and something that will make you feel better and something that will give you inspiration to fight and stand up for yourself , I found it and I am doing better than before l found this forum , Thank you TAM and all of you good people here!


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## SugarPlum JellyBean (Oct 10, 2011)

If I may offer a slightly different perspective.......my first marriage of 15 years ended in divorce.....and a $25,000 bill from my attorney when it was all over with. If I have to go down the road of divorce a second time, I will do everything I can to file on my own and use a mediator rather than suffer the devastating financial consequences of attorney sponsored divorce.


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