# Blocking People



## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

How many of you go as far as blocking people online, over the phone etc. Do you think blocking people is good or bad? Do you block or don't care to block? Thoughts?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

More context is in order.

Blocking is a last step, but when it's needed, it's needed. Narcissists and other personality disordered people won't respect boundaries. If you're dealing with one of them, sometimes that's all that works.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Did someone block you?


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> More context is in order.
> 
> Blocking is a last step, but when it's needed, it's needed. Narcissists and other personality disordered people won't respect boundaries. If you're dealing with one of them, sometimes that's all that works.



Agree with all this.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

I have only blocked my ex and the OW. I did so when I realized that things I saw had a negative impact on my emotional well-being. I refuse to allow them to have that power over me, so I blocked them. I am better off!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I don't block/ignore people on line. Some posters make for a powerful argument, though.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

This is critical to success in football ....


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

It's rare that I want to block someone. It's even rare that I want defriend someone on Facebook.

When I was in the UK, an ex FB continued to text me. So I asked UK t-mobile how do I block someone. they told me that they don't do that. I would have to get a new number. Something that I didn't want to do. UK t-mobile no longer exists. It's part of ee.

I block people who try to connect with me on skype. 

I know that I was defriended by one person on FB. I only knew this when I tried to look at her profile. Ergo, if you are not trying to contact him or looking at his profile, you won't know that you have blocked or defriended.

I always find it laughable when people say that they know that their ex is "looking at them" on FB. there is FB function that informs you of that nor is there an app that you can add. On LinkedIn however, it is possible.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> On LinkedIn however, it is possible.


I just learned over the weekend that blocking on LinkedIn is an option. I saw that the OW had looked at my profile, so I blocked her and my ex on there as well.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

TooNice said:


> I just learned over the weekend that blocking on LinkedIn is an option. I saw that the OW had looked at my profile, so I blocked her and my ex on there as well.


I'm sure it's possible to block an individual on many platforms online.

It's just that in another thread the OP claims to have not tried to contact her ex even though she knows that he has (boo hoo) blocked her.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

blueinbr said:


> I have blocked people online and "ignore"d people on TAM. But I always end up reversing it.


That's because you have no resolve and is par for you. If you did have resolve, you wouldn't be struggling so with your current predicament.


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## nataly87 (Apr 29, 2016)

I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


I'm not sure what would give you this impression. When I have blocked phone numbers, it has been two men I was talking to as potential dates who got out of hand. Nothing immature about protecting myself from their crazy.

As for the FB/social media side of things, I do not wish to see what is happening in my ex's life, or the life of the woman who helped pull him away from my marriage. The ability to see what is happening with them does nothing to enhance my new life, so they are blocked. The added benefit is that they cannot see what I am doing in my life, which is none of their business. Again, I see nothing immature about that. 

I guess it depends on your own circumstances and reasoning, but I never thought of it as immature.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


It depends, really. I have a cousin I blocked. He is toxic. I tried to look past it for quite awhile, but it eventually became evident that he wanted to wallow in his despair. So, after careful consideration, I blocked him. I have other family members who still speak to him, but rather than risk blowing up at him over something stupid, I chose to remove him. It isn't a sign of immaturity to block someone. Sometimes it is *more mature* to do so.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.



Blocking can be a sign of a person building a boundary for their self. Apparently, one who's blocking doesn't want any form of contact. Time to move forward and not figure out when blocking is or isn't necessary. The person doesn't want to carry out a conversation, doesn't mean they can't or can adult in a mature manner. Also doesn't mean they have to give an explanation to the blocked person. It's self explanatory, they don't want to speak with you.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I've blocked before everywhere, gone no contact with two guys who were toxic and wouldn't stop harassing me after we broke up. It is the best way to deal with a difficult break up or a toxic personality, IMO.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

The silent treatment is immature, blocking is the online equivalent of  removing someone from your life IMO. To me, the immaturity comes in when you block, then unblock, engage and then block again. To me, this is just more of the passive aggressive silent treatment.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


I actually understand that and somewhat agree with it. :|


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


Count yourself lucky that you've managed to live your life free of crazy. Many personality disordered people hide it well in the early stages. They suck you in before you figure out who they really are. They don't deal well with being dumped. Hard NC is often necessary.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


I think if you block someone it means they got to you and they win.

I had several people block me, or say they were going to block me when I chose a really annoying bright flashing avatar. 

I was actually trying to get as many people to block me as possible as a sort of silly game which probably makes no sense but I was bored at the time. 

The moderators told me to change it so that game went out the window but there's another side of blocking people.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

nataly87 said:


> Do you think blocking people is good or bad?


I've noticed you have a tendency to qualify things as "good" or "bad." But it's far more about enforcing boundaries when we block people on social media or out of our lives entirely. 

Why? Because it's just not as simple as being a matter of whether it's good or bad. I blocked my late husband the last year of his life. He was literally drinking himself to death. Alcoholics in the final stage of the disease are crazy. I didn't want to hear or deal with his type of crazy any longer.

Was I bad to block him? Some may think so. But I was blocking him for ME. It was "good" for me to cut him out of my life because it was in my best interests to get emotionally stable and healthy.

You are over simplifying things if you think blocking is nothing more than mature vs. immature or good vs. bad.


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

nataly87 said:


> I thought that if you block someone if shows immaturity, and you not as a mature adult, to have someone thats not blocked, like not having them blocked it shows you aren't adult enough to handle someone to not be blocked.


Well then count me as immature. I blocked my ex and the OW because it hurt me to see them. I don't actually care if they know what I am doing, but I really really don't want to know what they are doing, and by blocking them, I keep them from showing up in my feed. If they like a friends post or comment on it, I don't know about it. 

I will probably never unblock them, because I don't think I'll be ready until I no longer think about them, and if I no longer think about them, then it shouldn't occur to me to unblock them. 

I have blocked other people for posting racist/hateful things on Facebook. One person wasn't someone I really had a friendship so I blocked her and left it at that. Another person had been my friend, but I found his posts so offensive that I couldn't live with myself and not say something. So I sent him a message, told him I was going to block him, and told him why. And then I blocked him. 

There are lots of times when I have to deal with ugliness, like at work. But there are also places where I can choose to not have it around. If someone causes me emotional distress online, I see no point in allowing that to continue.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> The silent treatment is immature, blocking is the online equivalent of removing someone from your life IMO. To me, the immaturity comes in when you block, then unblock, engage and then block again. To me, this is just more of the passive aggressive silent treatment.


I agree completely.

There is a term "dropping the rope." It means you don't engage anymore. Dropping the rope and later blocking only if necessary isn't immature. OTOH, bouncing back and forth is only more crazy behavior on the behalf of the on doing the blocking.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

Mclane said:


> I think if you block someone it means they got to you and they win.


I respectfully disagree with this. I respectfully vehemently disagree with this.



Mclane said:


> I was actually trying to get as many people to block me as possible as a sort of silly game which probably makes no sense but I was bored at the time.
> 
> The moderators told me to change it so that game went out the window but there's another side of blocking people.


Although, I think that you are clearly talking about blocking people on a much more shallow level than blocking someone who destroyed a 20 year marriage.


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## TooNice (Nov 26, 2013)

BlueWoman said:


> Well then count me as immature. I blocked my ex and the OW because it hurt me to see them. I don't actually care if they know what I am doing, but I really really don't want to know what they are doing, and by blocking them, I keep them from showing up in my feed. If they like a friends post or comment on it, I don't know about it.


Yes. This.

There is a woman who now essentially has my life. She has my ex (which is fine, she is welcome to him - lol!), but she also has relationships with my children, with my in-laws, with people I still love. I don't need to see her interacting with them. The day I blocked both her and my ex was the day she became friends with my son on FB. Nope, I don't need to see that. Call me immature, too.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

TooNice said:


> I respectfully disagree with this. I respectfully vehemently disagree with this.
> 
> Although, I think that you are clearly talking about blocking people on a much more shallow level than blocking someone who destroyed a 20 year marriage.


I was referring specifically to anonymous internet forum posters.


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