# Resolution



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

When I joined this wonderful site in March, my H had just told me that he was not happy. Hence the name hesnothappy. It also provided cover for me as I had not revealed the current status of my marriage to many. I set out trying to change the mindset of this man and show him that we could be happy once again. It was not to happen. In March of this year I came home to a condo devoid of anything (practically) that belong to him. And I hurt, boy did I hurt. I was confused, humilated, devastated, in disbelief, angry, sad, hurt, and anything else that would describe a woman out of sorts. That went on for 2.5 months and then the sun started shinging through. I moved and moved forward. Even in my sorrow I was determined to keep me together, as that is all I had I could depend on. 

Well, I did and I am. I am no longer concerned about him not being happy, who cares ;o) And if anyone reading this knows how to change my name, I would appreciate a heads up. I am happy, and most of the time. My life is back to where it was pre him. I have a wonderful support system, and TAM is a big part of that. I am forever grateful for all those who took the time to read and leave an encouraging word in my posts. It is my pleasure to continue to come here everyday and console, encourage, share a laugh or some music with those still hurting as well as those who have SURVIVED :smthumbup: 

I am Vanessa, and I am known on the internet at Lexusv. That is what I will be addressing myself as I am hereby resolved to no longer concern my self or be connected to him not being happy. Not my problem. As we await divorce papers being signed I don't know what lies ahead of me,or when I actually see him or his daughter for the first time. But I know I got what it takes (God put it in me) to meet it head on and keep it moving forward, and I pray for the same for each of you as well.


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

You go Girl!!!

His happiness is not your problem and never was. You keep your eyes on the prize. It will all work out!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

I asked the moderator on another forum to change my user name and its was done in a day.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Thanks, Moderator can I change my name?


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

Thanks for the post Vanessa, its encouraging to see that the light at the end of the tunnel is reachable...


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

FL it is, and now I look back and wonder how I got ova (a gospel song ;o) But it does and you do and you move on with new things in life.

A friend from Florida sent this to me wondering if I had reached this point in life. It is a newly released song from Adele (just lerning about her) and it fits and it doesn't. I do not wish my H anything. I pray that he and his daughter are well. But this song is saying what a lot of need to hear that we will go on, and might cross the path of the leavers again.

Adele - Someone Like You (Live in Her Home) - YouTube

I love her voice.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Some of TAM moderators are:

mommy22
Deejo
Amplexor

These folks should have the administrator permissions to help you change your name.


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## Anewlife (Sep 15, 2011)

Vanessa...God bless you. I am not where you are...but I am getting closer every day. My name is Joe! My life is stuck until Jan 3 when we sign off on 13 years....1/3 of my life.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Thanks Vanessa, for your encouraging words. I am stuck in limbo land at the moment, but trying to move forward. Just taking each day one at a time. I'm happy that you are in a place of peace and hope that one day we all reach that same place.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Hi Joe...Great News to read. You will, I did and we are the better for it. And thanks, I need all the favor I can get ;o


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

JAW, you will I promise (pinky swear) You don't even notice the transformation happening. One day you wake up and realize you got it pretty good. But when you are healing, it does not prevent moments of great heartache and pain, I just deal with it differently and it does not get as severe. Different things work for different people, I only knew to turn to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and he ain't failed me yet. I will be praying for you as well.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I done surprised myself...I guess this is another moment of resolution. Today I sent the big headed azz H an email to tell him I would continue to provide HealthCare for him and his daughter. I had told him I would end it this month, but something got in my spirit andI thought I can do this and not be inconvinenced, so don't be mean or cruel. He can get his own, but they charge them so much for it, and mine is very reasonable for excellent coverage. I really don't have a problem with him, just what and how he did he dirty deed. They can really benefit from the plans, and I have no need to be in contact with him about any of it. He wrote me back just thanking me. Now I can't let anyone know of this, cause they will crack my head open to see what I am thinking with LOLOLOL but it is hard to turn your back on someone you have loved with everything in you. I got no problems with him and my SD, so have at it on me ;o)


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Good for you. You dont need to be an a-hole when dealing with this and its not like flipping a switch and the feelings you once had are just erased. You care for their well being and as its no inconvenience to you why shouldnt you help. Taking the high road and being the better person is always a better option IMHO


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