# Detail sharing.....Common????



## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

After doing some reading I am coming to the understanding that sex is talked about alot! Both here on TAM, between spouses and with friends.
Do you talk about sex more when your sex life is unfulfilling or when your sex life rocks?
I am pretty private. Work is work, personal life is personal life. It takes me a long time to develope a closeness with friends that I feel comfortable revealing intimate details with. I am not a casual chatter box. ie) the people at work don't know when my husband leaves the seat up, or when my MIL pisses me off. Therefore sexual chit chat is not something I find natural.

So.....There have been some events in my married life and while working through them other things have been brought to light...simple...nothing earth shattering.....but definately contradicts what my previous understanding was.

My husband and I have a great sex-life...4-5 times a week sometimes more.....has kept improving over the yrs...is experimental...not selfish....and often times mind blowing.

So.....during a discussion my H revealed to me (reluctantly) that with a certain set of friends he engages in dicussions about his friend's sex-lives. ie) his friend's partners/wives anatomy, preferences, sex-styles...details....very private details. We hang out with these people/women. They are my friends.!
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex. Sex is an important part of adulthood, is an intergral part of our identity and is a must in a marriage. I feel that if these friends of our are getting their rocks off and want to express how good it is that is awesome.

I just don't know how I feel about my husband getting their 
play by play. So I asked if my H shared our details with them? Keep in mind that these particular friends are not [email protected] heads. I respect them. They are kind, hardworking, respectful, family men. My H said NO. 
I said that I knew I was no genius when it came to men, but it seemed to me that for this type of relationship to develope with these male friends there must have been/ still be mutual detail sharing that they find SAFE for this to continue. My H agreed and said Yes. He added that he has had many convos with these friends pertaining to details with himself and other women.....ugh! Again I asked "why refrain from sharing ours?" His response "I am his wife and mother of his children, he would never do that"

I am baffled and wierdly jealous. I guess the conservative in me says that as his wife he is trying to protect my honour, but I go out of my way to rock his socks...he should be very proud of our intimate life....much more proud than the flash in the pan relationships he cared to share. 
I am irritated that he gets the pleasure of visual sexual imagery of our friend as she sits across the table while we are at a dinner party. I am childishly insecure that I am not worthy of detailed description. I also understand that if my husband spoke to everyone about our intimate life i would be angry that he didn't respect me. A contradiction I know!

So is he protecting my dignity or is he protecting his rights to me?
Is all this normal? Do close guy friends commonly share this info? Does it really mean anything?:scratchhead:


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

StoneAngel said:


> So is he protecting my dignity or is he protecting his rights to me?
> Is all this normal? Do close guy friends commonly share this info? Does it really mean anything?:scratchhead:


I feel he is indeed protecting your dignity since you are afterall like he said his wife and the mother of his children !! There is nothing wrong with being a " freak " in the bedroom and im certain he is proud of this of you but he feels he shouldnt discuss it with his buddies ...... since they too will have this " visual " of you ?? 

Each guy is different ..... some may be more comfortable in discussing his intimacy and then some like your husband may not ?? I myself have no issues with it ....... i'm very proud of my mrs " talents " and may had shared this with a friend or two already  ??


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I generally don't talk about our details or hear about others details. What may have come up a couple of times is a brief "Does your wife do XYZ too?" 

It may just be the people I know, wife and I very open about talking details (when together) but other than 1 other couple we know it freaks people out they change the subject quickly.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

TrustInUs said:


> I just did a whole long post and the thread moved lol.
> 
> I think it's common that men tend to not share details about their sex lives with their wives, or they limit the details out of respect.
> 
> I did want to ask if he currently still talks about his previous sex life with other women to your frienda or did that occur in the past before you married? I think I misunderstood that part.


First, sorry about moving the thread...I just thought this may be a better spot for it...and forum rules says that threads should not be placed in two spot. 

Second I don't think you are understanding my post. My H and I have been married for 15 yrs and have know each other much longer. Many of our friends are mutual given our ages when we started dating. At that time the spouses or GFs of my Hs guy friends very naturally became my friends and companions. My H has not been talking to my girlfriends about his past sexual encounters.
My H is having conversations with his guy friends about intimate details of his guy friend's partners. His guy frineds are offering details about the way their wives look, what is great about their bodies, how their partners give head, etc etc. so....at a dinner party with all of us together, My H has been afforded details that permit him at a dinner party to look at his firend's wife and fantasy about thier last sexual exploit (setting the stage...I am not sayig that he is doing that), but the idea creeps me out.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

I don't give details or even talk about sex. Boyfriend does though with his male friends. Not female. And yeah he goes into detail. I've gotten facebook messages about it that made me turn beet red. Hes got a female coworker than complains her bf wont have sex with her a lot, but thats about it.

I would feel uncomfortable if she actually talked details though!


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

Omgitsjoe said:


> I feel he is indeed protecting your dignity since you are afterall like he said his wife and the mother of his children !! There is nothing wrong with being a " freak " in the bedroom and im certain he is proud of this of you but he feels he shouldnt discuss it with his buddies ...... since they too will have this " visual " of you ??
> 
> *Each guy is different ..... some may be more comfortable in discussing his intimacy and then some like your husband may not ?? *I myself have no issues with it ....... i'm very proud of my mrs " talents " and may had shared this with a friend or two already  ??


This is the part that flares the esteem issues, He has had no problems discussing his personal intimate details when they have been in regards to other women, he is just mum when it comes to me.

And the double standard tickles my crazy a little bit.

When I tried to be really honest and explain just how foolish and insecure I felt about the whole 'visual' thing. I was told that he had a brain capable of fantasizing on its own and he didn't need to have his friends details to do that....Not Helpful!


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

kipani said:


> I don't give details or even talk about sex. Boyfriend does though with his male friends. Not female. And yeah he goes into detail. I've gotten facebook messages about it that made me turn beet red. Hes got a female coworker than complains her bf wont have sex with her a lot, but thats about it.
> 
> I would feel uncomfortable if she actually talked details though!


Again I didn't say that my H was talking to women out their sex lives.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

StoneAngel said:


> This is the part that flares the esteem issues, He has had no problems discussing his personal intimate details when they have been in regards to other women, he is just mum when it comes to me.
> 
> And the double standard tickles my crazy a little bit.
> 
> When I tried to be really honest and explain just how foolish and insecure I felt about the whole 'visual' thing. I was told that he had a brain capable of fantasizing on its own and he didn't need to have his friends details to do that....Not Helpful!


Duuuh ...... nope not a good thing to say to the mrs regarding bhis brain being able to fantasize on its own helloooo ?? 

It's probably best that he doesnt even discuss details of past gfs with any of the buddies which is what i think is also affecting you since why bother mention this since he's with you now ?? IMHO i think you're probably better off that he doesnt share the details of your intimacy .... no need to be insecure.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Are you going to open the fantasies can of worms?


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

kipani said:


> Are you going to open the fantasies can of worms?


No No No no!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

My guess would be he feels like he's betraying your trust if he divulges intimate details of his sex with you to his friend. If you are comfortable with him sharing those details them maybe it's only a matter of giving him the green light it's OK with you. 

It could spark a bit a competition with each of you trying to come up with a bigger and better experience for the husbands to share.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

TrustInUs said:


> No problem, I think I worded my ? Incorrectly. I didn't think he was talking to your girlfriends about his sex life, I was asking if he still spoke about his previous sex life to his guy friends now? You mentioned that they knew details about his prior sex life and so I had the idea that he was still talking about his prior sex life with he guy friends when they traded stories. I would feel uncomfortable with that.
> 
> Some guys/people in general are more open when talking about sex though, and among close friends they probably aren't thinking much about sharing info with you're husband about their wives. Or thinking your husband is now picturing their wives etc.
> 
> Just my take. I'm a woman though


There are lots of parts to my story. Like many here is presume. There is a lot I am uncomfortable with. This just seemed to be a good opener. I guess I have to think about how to shed more light and share why this still sticks with me.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Would not discuss sex about previous girlfriends (and name them) or about my wife with any of my friends. If the question came up, I would say that I have a satisfying sexual relationship (whether or not I did) and the rest is private.

I might mention "I was going with a girl once and ...." but would never mention her name.

I worked with a guy who would always talk about his sex life with his wife. We car pooled an hour each way and some mornings we just way over the top. I could never look at his wife again knowing the things they did.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Um, don't believe him. He spills. You know he does. He gave you the answer he thought would get him in the least amount of trouble. Look, you're a woman. You're not supposed to be piercing this veil. You're not supposed to be looking behind this curtain. I have a very very small handful of men who I feel comfortable enough with that I've had these kind of conversations. Well, 3 men. One is a very close friend of over 10 years. One is my brother. The other is my cousin who is so close to me that I named my first born son after him. And yes, the sharing was all mutual.


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

I have no problem with someone singing my praises, but theres no need to get absolutely graphic


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

My husband and myself are part of a large friendship group. 

When we were going out, my hubz told me about a conversation he'd had one night with his two best male friends, which involved sharing some personal details about the girlfriends and wives.

I was pretty p!ssed off. I'm not the kind of person to confide in anyone about much vaguely personal, and tbh I felt uncomfortable knowing these people knew that kind of stuff about me. I made it clear that if I wanted his best friends to know that kind of stuff about me, *I* would be the one sharing it. Otherwise, they can mind their own business and hubz can keep his massive gob shut!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

tobio said:


> My husband and myself are part of a large friendship group.
> 
> When we were going out, my hubz told me about a conversation he'd had one night with his two best male friends, which involved sharing some personal details about the girlfriends and wives.
> 
> I was pretty p!ssed off. I'm not the kind of person to confide in anyone about much vaguely personal, and tbh I felt uncomfortable knowing these people knew that kind of stuff about me. I made it clear that if I wanted his best friends to know that kind of stuff about me, *I* would be the one sharing it. Otherwise, they can mind their own business and hubz can keep his massive gob shut!


I suspect that what you accomplished is guaranteeing that he doesn't share the details of his conversations with you anymore. Congrats. You trained your husband to lie to you.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Sharing some details about sex with friends is all apart of the experience. If you have really good sex, you want to be able to tell someone about it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I have always heard that women talk about it more than guys.

but I think its 50/50 some do and some don't

I always say nice things like my wife is still as hot as when I married her ....and then follow it up with she also still as big a bi*ch as when we first married. that always get a big laugh in the lockr room.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Sharing some details about sex with friends is all apart of the experience. If you have really good sex, you want to be able to tell someone about it.


That reminds me of an old survey I heard about one time. When a bunch of men were asked to choose between being able to have sex with a celebrity of their choice and not be able to tell anyone or not have sex with that person and be able to tell everyone they did...most chose the latter. :scratchhead:


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I'm pretty open about sex, I'd share details with just about anyone I felt comfortable with. I don't know it just isn't a big deal to me.

Guys are already picturing you naked anyway, hearing details about how your husband banged you isn't going to really change that.

Now if someone started getting creepy about it or trying to arrange some sort of swap or something, then I'd be concerned.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Guys are already picturing you naked anyway, hearing details about how your husband banged you isn't going to really change that.


This *IS* hyperbole, right? Tell me this isn't factual......:scratchhead:


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

StoneAngel said:


> This is the part that flares the esteem issues, He has had no problems discussing his personal intimate details when they have been in regards to other women, he is just mum when it comes to me.
> 
> And the double standard tickles my crazy a little bit.
> 
> When I tried to be really honest and explain just how foolish and insecure I felt about the whole 'visual' thing. I was told that he had a brain capable of fantasizing on its own and he didn't need to have his friends details to do that....Not Helpful!


Not sure I read this correctly, but either way I don't think it is a double standard. He no longer has an emotional connection to his old GFs, so he can discuss it without emotion - or consequence. If you are referring to his friends discussions of their sex life, same applies - no emotional connection to their wives.

Not saying that's ok. I don't share those details with others (except *everyone* on TAM) and wouldn't like her sharing either. To me, that stuff is just for each other. Him living vicariously through his friends - that's another issue as well. To me, it probably depends on whether he engages in those conversations, initiates them or just listens. Only the last is within reason.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> This *IS* hyperbole, right? Tell me this isn't factual......:scratchhead:


It's not that far off.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

COguy said:


> I'm pretty open about sex, I'd share details with just about anyone I felt comfortable with. I don't know it just isn't a big deal to me.


This is me.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> This *IS* hyperbole, right? Tell me this isn't factual......:scratchhead:


It's probably more accurate to assume every man you pass on the street is picturing you naked, then to assume that no one is.

I've pictured all of my stbx's friends naked at some point. The hotter ones got into the rotation more frequently.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

This is something I can't let myself think about. I already feel competitive this would drive me nuts to be thinking about that. I won't say I am in denial I just would stay depressed thinking of him thinking like that every time we are around my friends.


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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

It's just a matter of comfort. Personally, my sex life is pretty much under wraps at work. I will casually mention some of the fun dates or vacations I take with my wife, but the bedroom stuff has a lot of pitfalls. Namely my professional reputation, the fact that it's "rubbing it in their face" that my sex life is pretty solid and they're single and lonely or in an insecure/sexless relationship, and most of all that my wife and I do some stuff that most people think only happens in books and movies.

With my close personal guy friends, I share from time to time. We discuss things... usually ideas that one of us wants to know more about. Chances are one of us has done - or at lest considered - just about everything, and it's neat to talk about what worked and what didn't. You gotta pick who you discuss what with, though. I wouldn't talk to my pal who's only been with 3 women about bondage. Yeah, he could live vicariously through it, but this isn't a gf I'm talking about, it's my wife, and he will be in social/party situations with us from time to time. Likewise, I also wouldn't chat with my buddy who makes $40k salary and lives in a studio apt about retirement investments and international travel. You don't want to hurt any egos, and you only get the best advice from people who are successful and experienced in the topic at hand. Pretty common sense.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Um, don't believe him. He spills. You know he does. He gave you the answer he thought would get him in the least amount of trouble.


This was my thought as well! I think he is covering because he thinks that this would be something that you are uncomfortable with.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I think your H gave you your answer right here:-



> I asked "why refrain from sharing ours?" His response "I am his wife and mother of his children, he would never do that"


He loves and respects you. What you share is special and not something he would want to share with his friends.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

Well, I have to say that with the exception of internet anonymity, my "sharing" of details like that... does not exist. Nobody I know IRL would I want to tell anything of the sort to. Nobody. I may have the right to talk about me... but NOT about the wife. That is for her and only her to decide. 

So the answer is... this man... does not. Would not really entertain it, simply because it's a matter of respect for my wife.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

oldgeezer said:


> Well, I have to say that with the exception of internet anonymity, my "sharing" of details like that... does not exist. Nobody I know IRL would I want to tell anything of the sort to. Nobody. I may have the right to talk about me... but NOT about the wife. That is for her and only her to decide.
> 
> So the answer is... this man... does not. Would not really entertain it, simply because it's a matter of respect for my wife.


:iagree:

There's a difference between anonymous sharing and sharing with people in our daily lives. Sharing intimate details about our partners isn't something that happens amongst my circle of friends.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> I think your H gave you your answer right here:-
> 
> 
> 
> He loves and respects you. What you share is special and not something he would want to share with his friends.


Lol. Hook. Line. Sinker.


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## Benevolence (Oct 8, 2012)

Do you really want the people you hang out with to look at you and imagine you doing ________? Your husband obviously doesn't. 

Be grateful he is protective and respectful towards you.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Um, don't believe him. He spills. You know he does. He gave you the answer he thought would get him in the least amount of trouble. Look, you're a woman. You're not supposed to be piercing this veil. You're not supposed to be looking behind this curtain. I have a very very small handful of men who I feel comfortable enough with that I've had these kind of conversations. Well, 3 men. One is a very close friend of over 10 years. One is my brother. The other is my cousin who is so close to me that I named my first born son after him. And yes, the sharing was all mutual.



I agree with WorkingOnMe. He spills. I have two friends that I share the "details" with, and they do the same in return. This conversation happens maybe once or twice a year...so it is not like common gossip conversations....or "girl talk" as my wife would call it. One of these people is my brother, and we trust each other 100%! 

I do like to share "details" on a board like this...with people who don't know me and can give me their honest opinions. 

I do love the details...especially the good ones!


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I suspect that what you accomplished is guaranteeing that he doesn't share the details of his conversations with you anymore. Congrats. You trained your husband to lie to you.


He still does share. He loves sharing a juicy conversation, he can't help himself!

I don't want to censor him, BUT...

When he is sharing details that pertain to solely me then I am very strongly against that. To me, to share myself and my body with him is special. Whatever info he wants to divulge about himself is fine. But when it is details about ME, personal stuff that he gets to know only as my partner, then it is massively disrespectful to me for him to share it.

After all, if I wanted his mates to know such stuff, I'd drop my kecks in the pub and just show them. But strangely enough I'm not sharing... so he doesn't get to do that either!


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

With friends, I am more prone to "share" details about ME rather than him; you'd have to be careful w/sharing "intimate details" w/folks about your significant other(s). They are human and have fantasies too, and I'm sure you don't want them fantasizing about what's yours! Right?? 

For instance, in sharing details about me, I'd say something like, "DAMN! That dinner my Babe cooked was sooo good last night, he deserved TWO blow jobs, but I ONLY gave him ONE"!! :smthumbup:


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> I do like to share "details" on a board like this...with people who don't know me and can give me their honest opinions.
> 
> I do love the details...especially the good ones!



Hahahaha!!!! I know that's right!


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

SexyChic41 said:


> With friends, I am more prone to "share" details about ME rather than him; you'd have to be careful w/sharing "intimate details" w/folks about your significant other(s). They are human and have fantasies too, and I'm sure you don't want them fantasizing about what's yours! Right??
> 
> For instance, in sharing details about me, I'd say something like, "DAMN! That dinner my Babe cooked was sooo good last night, he deserved TWO blow jobs, but I ONLY gave him ONE"!! :smthumbup:


I would have no problem with others fantasizing about my wife. Personally I want to have someone that other guys look at and fantasize about, to have someone that others want like that. I just don't know if any men do.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

rj700 said:


> Not sure I read this correctly, but either way I don't think it is a double standard. He no longer has an emotional connection to his old GFs, so he can discuss it without emotion - or consequence. If you are referring to his friends discussions of their sex life, same applies - no emotional connection to their wives.
> 
> Not saying that's ok. I don't share those details with others (except *everyone* on TAM) and wouldn't like her sharing either. To me, that stuff is just for each other. Him living vicariously through his friends - that's another issue as well. To me, it probably depends on whether he engages in those conversations, initiates them or just listens. Only the last is within reason.


For me there is a double standard. I know without a doubt that if I was engaged in conversations with my girlfriends that graphically described how my husband's guy friends bumped uglies, my husband would be upset. I know the last thing my husband would want is for me to have the opportunity, to take the opportunity and more importantly not walk away from that opportunity. My husband would question and be insecure about why his guy friend's sexual details would be of interest to me and it would be worrisome to him that I would find these details stimulating. As a result I refrain from these conversations. 
I think it is a double standard that he has no problem listening, offering feedback, etc etc when the details are about my girlfriend's (who just so happen to be partner's to my hubbies guy friend's) and I am supposed to feel comfortable with it because that is what 'Guys Do".

I do appreciate and respect that my husband doesn't share graphic details with his friends about my body and how I use it to pleasure my H. 
I do feel however that much of his motivation is based on that old double standard....there are those girls that you ph*ck and there are the good girls that you take home to mom. I think a lot of his "I don't share details because you are my wife and mother of my children" is routed in the socially acceptable idea of having to marry a "Nice Girl" and portray socialyl that his wife is wholesome. I think this idea is subconsciencous but nevertheless determines the manner in which many husbands speak about their wives.
My preference is that my husband not speak about anyone's sex life, (in any great detail) but if he must I would prefer it to be OUR DETAILS that come to he mind rather than the hot chick he scored with 16yrs ago.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

gbrad said:


> I would have no problem with others fantasizing about my wife. Personally I want to have someone that other guys look at and fantasize about, to have someone that others want like that. I just don't know if any men do.


I think there is a diffrence between...1. knowing you have a sexy, vivacious, confident girl on your arm, that turns heads and you know men can't help but want her.....2. You have told ten guys in the room the girl on your arm does X,Y,Z and those ten guys in the room just want to try her on for size.

#1 says something positive about you
#2 says you just opened the door to have your maleness challenged.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

Benevolence said:


> Do you really want the people you hang out with to look at you and imagine you doing ________? Your husband obviously doesn't.
> 
> Be grateful he is protective and respectful towards you.


No I don't want people I hang out with to look at me and imagine me doing........? 

Likewise I don't want my husband to be able to sit with the people we hang out with and imagine them/her doing........?


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Just have to say that I seriously doubt that your husband told you the truth about what he has told his friends. I think he gave the answer he thought you would want to hear or the one that would get him in the least amount of trouble. I have a hunch he has told them pleanty about you. 

It seems like you might get off on the idea of the others knowing what a "good" wife you are. Why don't you two have a talk about an experience you want him to tell them about.....and then have him tell them next time it is appropriate?


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

Telling details has an inherent danger attached. If a husband says too much about his sex life to male friends he is giving them the formula to sleep with you. A devious individual could use such information to betray him. Therefore OP your husband is protecting himself by not giving obvious details about you. Yes there will be subtle oneupmanship going on in terms of certain details - its a male locker room thing - but only a fool would reveal the deep down things that makes your love life rock.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

COguy said:


> I've pictured all of my stbx's friends naked at some point. The hotter ones got into the rotation more frequently.




I appreciate your honesty but I'm not sure if I'd like to be with a guy who pictures all my friends naked.
I'm not saying guys don't fantasize about other women naked, but NOT everytime they see just another girl ..
To me this is kind of sick.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I don't air my laundry to anyone (well maybe a little to you guys but thats different). I hear people I know talk about that stuff to each other. It is usually men that are trying to boost their own ego. I never do that. Apparently I am really a vulcan as I have no ego to boost!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I've made the mistake of trusting folks I shouldn't. Not good. Word got around. Thing is, I didn't tell the whole truth or the whole story. Only asked questions which led a certain direction, never the actual details, never. I tried to speak with as much generality as possible but, I wanted to learn something new. I wanted to know what I could do to spice things up or make them better. Big mistake. I don't know what the right way to go is.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

lovelygirl said:


> I appreciate your honesty but I'm not sure if I'd like to be with a guy who pictures all my friends naked.
> I'm not saying guys don't fantasize about other women naked, but NOT everytime they see just another girl ..
> To me this is kind of sick.


Not everytime we see another girl. But at some point in time all of the wifes more attractive friends, yes they have been pictured.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Not everytime we see another girl. But at some point in time all of the wifes more attractive friends, yes they have been pictured.


oh okay. I see it's common for all men.
So when I meet any friend of my future H, I'll make sure to picture them naked. I'll play around with my fantasies, all day as much as I want. With whoever I want. Sounds cool. 

Poor Hubby though. If he has many friends then I'm afraid I won't have time to fantasize/think about him. My mind would be busy with other men.


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## Happily Married Guy (Sep 26, 2011)

I Notice The Details said:


> I agree with WorkingOnMe. He spills. I have two friends that I share the "details" with, and they do the same in return. This conversation happens maybe once or twice a year...so it is not like common gossip conversations....or "girl talk" as my wife would call it. One of these people is my brother, and we trust each other 100%!
> 
> I do like to share "details" on a board like this...with people who don't know me and can give me their honest opinions.
> 
> I do love the details...especially the good ones!


I tend to agree, I enjoy sharing some detail on sites like this, but wouldn't feel comfortable sharing details with people who actually know my wife and I. Its interesting though I do think that my wife and her firends share much more detail about sex than I do with my friends. I don't mind her sharing, actually I enjoy it to some degree.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

lovelygirl said:


> oh okay. I see it's common for all men.
> So when I meet any friend of my future H, I'll make sure to picture them naked. I'll play around with my fantasies, all day as much as I want. With whoever I want. Sounds cool.
> 
> Poor Hubby though. If he has many friends then I'm afraid I won't have time to fantasize/think about him. My mind would be busy with other men.


If you are physically attracted to your husband then you probably wont do it all of the time and will have time for him. But it is still okay if you picture his friends some times.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Happily Married Guy said:


> Its interesting though I do think that my wife and her firends share much more detail about sex than I do with my friends. I don't mind her sharing, actually I enjoy it to some degree.


I agree with Happily Married Guy!

I have always wanted to be a fly on the wall when my wife goes out for "ladies night out". I would bet that my wife and her friends share LOTS of juicy details with each other....lots more than men would...just my opinion....and I am ok with that!

I never complain when she comes home and "jumps" me after these "ladies night out" evenings. :smthumbup:


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> I agree with Happily Married Guy!
> 
> I have always wanted to be a fly on the wall when my wife goes out for "ladies night out". I would bet that my wife and her friends share LOTS of juicy details with each other....lots more than men would...just my opinion....and I am ok with that!
> 
> I never complain when she comes home and "jumps" me after these "ladies night out" evenings. :smthumbup:


I don't know how true this is, mind you I don't do Ladies Night often, but the Sex and the City portrayal of Girl Besties has never existed in my world. 
Woman do have a way in close company of making sex shocking and often times it is gossipy like 'I heard Jenny and Bobby do this".... "Ugh can you imagine?".(yes it can still be that childish)...but in my experience most girls do not talk about themselves or their partners directly. 
IMO women avoid this type of talk because of terrible past experiences or programmed warnings from highschool. That info, in the hands of the wrong girlfriend can lead to labels, judging, gossip, and personal relationship damage for you and your mate as a result most women stay quiet.... unless of course it is about some famous actor that they would like to get naked. It all becomes a big joke that no one takes seriously.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am pretty open with people, some may say too much. If I feel comfortable around someone, I am liable to say anything. I am generally liked for this though... I have never lost a friend over them thinking "She is crazy, boundaryless" or just a bad person. 



Omgitsjoe said:


> Each guy is different ..... some may be more comfortable in discussing his intimacy and then some like your husband may not ?? I myself have no issues with it ....... i'm very proud of my mrs " talents " and may had shared this with a friend or two already  ??


My husband is like this. Now in comparison to me, he is less forthcoming...doesn't open his mouth starting these conversations.....BUT if someone asks the man a question, he'll answer it & he's not against adding a little shock value to make it interesting. 

The guys where he works...they figured it out early on...that our sex life "changed" suddenly - he used to join in when they'd whine about their wives never wantin' any... common topic among men... I guess he used to say...."Yeah.... we've only done it 6 times!" (hence...6 kids)..

Then...he stopped saying these things...probably had a bigger  on his face...







..they noticed his lunch was packed with extra care (all healthy & such)...before I just threw any old thing in there....and they put 2 & 2 together... & started grilling him...

He must have told them....."I don't know what the hell happened to her but she can't get enough!!".... The cat was out of the bag....... he's been razzed about this ever since...I mean to the point of hilariousness... a worker from out of town came in there, and because of the other men talking, went over & asked him for this autogragh and how he does it. He comes home with these stories... I just laugh. 

They even razzed me when a bunch of them got together -a work place dinner party out to get wings, put me in the HOT SEAT ....it was a barrel of fun really. We are not the type to act like this is irritating us, or put on a face of "you are pushing a wall here" ....we just go along with the flow, laugh along with them. It takes an awful lot to offend us. And if I was offended, I'd have a comeback. 

So one might say my own husband has given me a reputation. 

Then there is I....



> *I Notice The Details said*: I have always wanted to be a fly on the wall when my wife goes out for "ladies night out". I would bet that my wife and her friends share LOTS of juicy details with each other....lots more than men would...just my opinion....and I am ok with that!


Let's just say.. when I am around.. I get the ladies laughing... I dig up the juice, I may not be the 1st to mention this topic.... but if I see a crack to throw it in, test the waters... Yeah... I open it up....I've gathered a reputation the last few yrs.... Had a "Mops" party at my house, these are conservative christian women... it's a night they still laugh about & want to do again -because it was so much FUN!! On top of this, a # of them will come to me privately & confide about some issues at home, they trust me. 

Maybe some would find me obnoxious, I don't know, but I am who I am. If others don't like me for it, they sure are good fakers. People who are too private & politically correct, chances are, I wouldn't be their cup of tea. My/our close friends are all so easy to talk too, love them! 

Intimate details , for us are very MUSHY & vulnerable ....so NO these things are NOT talked about from my husband to other men, heck, they wouldn't want to hear that anyway!! 

But the funny stuff... he's game. My newest thread for instance >>
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/social...pted-caught-your-pants-down-stories-here.html .....husband purposely left out "the sheets" when telling the guys at work this one!


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## Hailey2009 (Oct 27, 2012)

This may be a naive answer, but you sound caught between wanting to be discussed and not. With a beer in me, I might drop a hint the next time we were together with at least a couple of his guy friends. Something like, "Don't make me break out the handcuffs," if one of his friends is acting rowdy. (Probably much better possibilities than that, but I'm drawing a blank.)

Gives his friends an opening to ask -- or to look at you a bit differently even if he doesn't talk.

Just a thought.


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