# How do you handle work when you have D-related meetings?



## gettingout (Jan 15, 2013)

Hi,
I'm just looking for input on how you've all handled this process when you work. I have a PT temporary job after being a SAHM and want it to turn into something FT (within the larger organization, not necessarily in my immediate area though). I'm pretty sure my boss likes me and I keep my personal life to myself. Word got around that I am getting divorced but I still have not discussed it with my boss but I am pretty positive she knows. The hours are mostly flexible - I come and go when I want (I'm limited how many hours I can work) but when they need me, they want me. How to set up ahead of time, "I'm unavailable to work on such and such a date" because of a meeting with lawyers? It just feels awkward.....I'm hourly and no benefits. I feel like I have enough strikes against me in the job market as it is!


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## backik (Mar 12, 2009)

From personal experience, there's nothing wrong with saying that you can't work at such and such time because you need to take care of personal matters. If you don't feel comfortable telling your boss that you're going through a D - you don't need to. 

Do you have a decent relationship with your boss? Would your boss be okay with letting you make-up the hours on a different day where you normally wouldn't come in? Like, offering a possible solution or alternative to show commitment?

My situation is different b/c I've been working at my company for almost 3 years (which is a long time at a tech start-up) and have a good relationship with my boss. When my separation happened I pulled the boss aside to tell them I what I was going through and asked them to keep it confidential. If I wasn't on my A-Game or unfocused at work, they knew why and understood. Because of this my boss lets me work from home when I have days where I don't want to go in (aka I'm emotionally tapped out). So, if you think your boss is understanding enough you can divulge as much or as little as you want.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

You could be going to the doctor or dentist or to see the tax guy or waiting to let the cable tv guy in or any number of reasons. 

If they give you a schedule ahead of time for particular hours then try to schedule lawyer meetings around that schedule. 

If they don't give you a schedule in advance then most employers understand if there is the occasional conflict. 

And I don't know your situation but during my divorce I didn't have to see my attorney that frequently face to face. 

Finally, you are getting a divorce. You aren't contagious. You aren't a criminal. You aren't doing something subversive. Talk with your boss.


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