# What do men really think of their wives getting older?



## Therealbrighteyes

Okay, those of you who have read my posts know that my husband turns 40 in one week. Me? I turn 27, I mean 40 a few months later. 
I have read up on a man's mid life crisis and it seems that this crisis isn't a man looking in the mirror and feeling old but rather he looks at his wife and thinks she looks old. Of course he fears age and death and every kind of emotion that surrounds that but he doesn't view himself per se as old. He views others around him as such, so he acts accordingly.
Anybody go through this and could weigh in and give me some advice? I am scared ****less. I know this fear isn't rational but for me, it is real. While he doesn't "show the signs" he already has told me that he sometimes fantacizes about younger women because they make him feel young again or at least make him feel he can do anything again as he put it "score the winning touchdown". What?! Yep, in a total honesty dump, he laid that on me. I appreciate that but it did/does bring me pain and confusion. 
Help! :scratchhead:


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## Deejo

Brennan said:


> While he doesn't "show the signs" he already has told me that he sometimes fantacizes about younger women because they make him feel young again or at least make him feel he can do anything again as he put it "score the winning touchdown". What?! Yep, in a total honesty dump, he laid that on me.


Here is your reality check. That isn't something you lay on your wife if it's an actionable item.

He desires you. He feels safe with you. That's why he told you. It's fantasy. He shared.

Don't go all Viking/Valkyrie on his ass by creating issues where you actually have a good thing.

Who are you concerned about having the mid-life crisis again?

Weren't you a skanky ho to a bunch of young bimbettes a week ago?

Out of the freakin blue a few weeks ago I was talking with the girlfriend about birthdays ...
She and the ex are a week apart. Both went to school for exercise science. Creepy ...
GF is six years ex's junior and she says:
"Your ex-wife is hotter than me, isn't she?"

I was like a deer in the headlights. But I successfully deflected. Younger does not equal better.


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## Halien

New here, but this one happens to be one my friends and I recently discussed. I think many women are the same, but guys often live in a completely different 'reality', in a sense, when it comes to the fantasy world as they would in the rational world. In the fantasies, such anchors as the bond with you, committment, shared experiences and tastes don't really apply.

In the real world, however, where he weighs the pros and cons, most guys would never throw this away. They would never even consider it. And some, maybe not all, begin to really appreciate the deep relationship that comes with a long relationship. It becomes the happily ever after if we choose to make it so.

If you consider all of that just a load of bs, just remember that guys are more turned on by self-confidence and a level of mystery and maturity. Especially when others see their wife as possessing these. A great a** helps too, but modern society tells us we're supposed to talk about the intangibles and pretend they make sense. (just kidding).


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## michzz

I don't think the aging itself gets to him as long as you both are in parallel.

Just don't go all grannie on him, ya know?


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## Trenton

Brennan love that you started this thread and you already know how I feel. I do think you may be projecting your insecurities onto him or at least that's what I think I do. You're beautiful, embrace it and try (for my sake) to dance with him in intimacy, drive him insane with desire and feeeed off of it.

michzz...so she should continue to wear the choo heals and not wear grannie panties? Come on, you know her avatar has you in a tizzie!


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## Trenton

Deejo, I think you're still in love with your ex. It wouldn't matter if the woman was 25 and your ex were 50...you'd still think...my ex wife is freaking hawt. That is love.

Maybe this is the aspect of men that women aren't seeing. We sum it all up by the games and the age and the insecurities we pile up on ourselves from the years of looking at perfection on the pages of Glamour magazine but when you get down to it, love does count in how we see our lovers.


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## Deejo

Trenton said:


> Deejo, I think you're still in love with your ex. It wouldn't matter if the woman was 25 and your ex were 50...you'd still think...my ex wife is freaking hawt. That is love.
> 
> Maybe this is the aspect of men that women aren't seeing. We sum it all up by the games and the age and the insecurities we pile up on ourselves from the years of looking at perfection on the pages of Glamour magazine but when you get down to it, love does count in how we see our lovers.


You're not the boss of me ...


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## WadeWilson

I can't speak as far as hitting the forties... But with me and my wife recently entering our thirties, all I could say was it isn't her that makes me aware of my mortality... Me and my wife we pretty much been together since 12/13... So we survived puberty, awkward teen years, and drinking age... All together... But through it I still only see the high energy, big smile (slightly goofy) 13 yo that I know... And love... Physically she just grew into a woman... That only stirred new attraction... But as a guy what gets me is... Realizing that favorite shows you enjoyed when you were younger airs on nick at nite.... When you say athletes of your youth are way better than today's... The music/artist today just grates on your nerves with annoyance... When your talking to some "kid" at work and you say A-Team was an awesome show... Their response "I thought that was just a movie, there was a show?".... Then you start to question your age...

So for me at least, my wife is the only person who makes me feel like time standing still, because we went through growth together... In various ways...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl

My husband thinks that young chicks are pin heads, they know little but clothes and looks, vanity is the main problem of these young girls, he said that he would not have liked me if he had met me in my early twenties. 

I feel the older I become, the more peaceful I become. And I feel I can have more interesting and deeper conversation with him. I am already four years older than him. He said that our looks are like our resume, but our good personality keeps our men. 

Biologically, I am 38 years old; but in my heart, I am always young. I play with my husband just like playmates, I climb on him like a monkey, I lie in his arms like a baby, I love him like a wife should! 

But I do my best to keep my young look. And I believe women who love to smile are the most beautiful!


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## alphaomega

My wife has the hottest a$$ I've ever seen. Nuff' said.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> You're not the boss of me ...


Just sayin'...give a girl a break!


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## surfergirl

Brennan said:


> Okay, those of you who have read my posts know that my husband turns 40 in one week. Me? I turn 27, I mean 40 a few months later.
> I have read up on a man's mid life crisis and it seems that this crisis isn't a man looking in the mirror and feeling old but rather he looks at his wife and thinks she looks old. Of course he fears age and death and every kind of emotion that surrounds that but he doesn't view himself per se as old. He views others around him as such, so he acts accordingly.
> Anybody go through this and could weigh in and give me some advice? I am scared ****less. I know this fear isn't rational but for me, it is real. While he doesn't "show the signs" he already has told me that he sometimes fantacizes about younger women because they make him feel young again or at least make him feel he can do anything again as he put it "score the winning touchdown". What?! Yep, in a total honesty dump, he laid that on me. I appreciate that but it did/does bring me pain and confusion.
> Help! :scratchhead:


If it's real to you it doesn't matter if it's rational to us 

Just keep thinking like that 27yo and you'll be fine. Me? I'm on my 24th year of being 25 - so far so good!


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## Night Owl

My wife's 39 and just had her first gray hair. she seemed worried but I still think she's amazingly attractive. Plus she's got a great a**!


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## Mom6547

My husband fantasizes about younger women. And older women. Women in swimsuits. Women in habits. Women ... just about any which way. I am glad he shares his feelings with me. He must feel very comfy with me to do that.

He says younger women look nice but are lousy lays. And ... they have this obnoxious tendency to open their mouths to speak when they know NOTHING about anything. (Obviously this is exaggeration for the sake of our joking.)

I know my husband is still wildly attracted to me. He says so with our 2 1/2 week long streak. (Sadly have to end today since he is not feeling well.) He tells me with those eyes he makes. When I call him on it, he says Yes I am objectifying your fine form. Get over it. 

I would bet my last dollar (and since I really am down to my last dollar... take this seriously) that your husband laid that total honesty dump on you because he trusted you to understand what it was. Totally non threatening because he wants YOU. 

Remember that biology has programmed men to spread their seed like wind spreads the corn seed. But his heart and his body belong to YOU.


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## Therealbrighteyes

Thank you guys for your responses. Deejo, I won't go "Viking" on his ass, unless that's a good thing?


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## Deejo

Brennan said:


> Thank you guys for your responses. Deejo, I won't go "Viking" on his ass, unless that's a good thing?


Depends. If it involves a spear and magic helmet ... I'd love it.


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## nice777guy

I turn 39 in a couple of weeks - two things come to mind.

Almost seems like my eyes have changed with my age. When I was 20, I didn't look at many 40 year olds. But now I'm just as likely to check out a 40+ year old as a 20 year old. I just see women in a different light now than I did when I was younger.

Plus - one thing that hanging around on this board has taught me - is that there are a lot of 40 year old experienced women whose sex drives are peaking. So, not only do they know what to do, they're even more willing to do it! Find myself looking around at women my age now - wondering which ones are the real freaks when they get home and turn out the lights!!!

I think the Judo thing is helping me too - I have every intention of being in better shape when I'm 40 than I was when I was 35. Should take some of the sting out of getting older.


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## nice777guy

One more thing - sometimes I feel like a bit of a creepy old pervert when I'm checking out younger women. Don't want to end up like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty - obsessing / drooling over some friend of my daughter's when she gets to high school.


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## nice777guy

Star said:


> Haha, sorry I couldn't resist this
> 
> 
> They are not the freaky if the lights have to go out
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's true. 

Brennan's a freak! She was recently having a public make-out session with a married man at a bar! And probably every guy in that bar was thinking - "That guy's getting laid tonight - lucky Ba$tard!!!"

And no one probably thought a thing about her age...


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## MarriedWifeInLove

Funny you brought up this thread.

Just the other day my husband looked at me and said:

I'm looking better as I get older.

You just look old.

And apparently that's what he sees. Let's not remind ourselves that he is totally gray (inluding mustache), is overweight, etc.

While I am at the same weight as when we got married - not gray, and no, it's not all hair dye and when placed side-by-side, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE thinks he is older than me when I'm actually the older one.

So - guess he sees something different in the bathroom mirror than I do.

I actually was okay with turning 50, but he's made me feel insecure and old, just by his thoughtless comments. While I think he says them in humor - clue - they're not funny to me!


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## nice777guy

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Funny you brought up this thread.
> 
> Just the other day my husband looked at me and said:
> 
> I'm looking better as I get older.
> 
> You just look old.
> 
> And apparently that's what he sees. Let's not remind ourselves that he is totally gray (inluding mustache), is overweight, etc.
> 
> While I am at the same weight as when we got married - not gray, and no, it's not all hair dye and when placed side-by-side, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE thinks he is older than me when I'm actually the older one.
> 
> So - guess he sees something different in the bathroom mirror than I do.
> 
> I actually was okay with turning 50, but he's made me feel insecure and old, just by his thoughtless comments. While I think he says them in humor - clue - they're not funny to me!


I'd like to apologize on behalf of all the reasonable men in the world. That's just pretty lousy...sorry...


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## Therealbrighteyes

Okay, so maybe the crisis I worry about is more mine? It still bothers me though that he checks out others. Gah, how to deal?

NG, a freak? Ha ha. If you say so. **Wink**


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## nice777guy

Brennan said:


> Okay, so maybe the crisis I worry about is more mine? It still bothers me though that he checks out others. Gah, how to deal?
> 
> NG, a freak? Ha ha. If you say so. **Wink**


So - has he just now started checking out other women? Or have you just now started making a big deal of it?

In which case - he's consistent - you're not!


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## MarriedWifeInLove

nice777guy said:


> I'd like to apologize on behalf of all the reasonable men in the world. That's just pretty lousy...sorry...


Yeah I know, but I do think he was joking - sometimes his sense of humor leaves a lot to be desired...I just ignored him.

And...thanks!


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## MarriedWifeInLove

Brennan said:


> Okay, so maybe the crisis I worry about is more mine? It still bothers me though that he checks out others. Gah, how to deal?
> 
> NG, a freak? Ha ha. If you say so. **Wink**


Just have to deal with it. It might be more of your crisis than his.

Just remember - all those young thangs have to get old too and unless he's very rich - they won't be interested!


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> So - has he just now started checking out other women? Or have you just now started making a big deal of it?
> 
> In which case - he's consistent - you're not!


He's always done it but I found out recently, after years of lying about it. Not sure if that is good or bad. Deejo brought up a good point though....perhaps it is now because he feels comfortable with me.


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## nice777guy

Brennan said:


> He's always done it but I found out recently, after years of lying about it. Not sure if that is good or bad. Deejo brought up a good point though....perhaps it is now because he feels comfortable with me.


I'm sorry - but that's almost like him admitting to you that he needs oxygen to live, or that he can't see very well in the dark!!!

Its pretty much a given that men's eyes will wander...


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> I'm sorry - but that's almost like him admitting to you that he needs oxygen to live, or that he can't see very well in the dark!!!
> 
> Its pretty much a given that men's eyes will wander...


Yeah well I believed him. Foolish? Probably. Hurtful to find out later in life? You bet. And it is/was more than wandering eyes. It was visually undressing them.


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## bluesky

Im with Niceguy.

I am 46.

I don't lust after 20 somethings, it seems perverted.

I do like woman generally a few years younger (3 to 5).

When I was 25, a 22 year old would be great.
Now a 42 year old would.

My body has changed ....and i certainly don't expect a 40 year old woman to be the same as she was at 20.
However, i dont look the same either.

CONFIDENCE is a big turn on.


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## nice777guy

Brennan said:


> Yeah well I believed him. Foolish? Probably. Hurtful to find out later in life? You bet. And it is/was more than wandering eyes. *It was visually undressing them.*


Still normal...

I think I recently admitted that I even undress avatars!!!

I forget where I heard this:
"If you could read our minds you wouldn't be able to stop slapping us!"


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## Therealbrighteyes

bluesky said:


> Im with Niceguy.
> 
> I am 46.
> 
> I don't lust after 20 somethings, it seems perverted.
> 
> I do like woman generally a few years younger (3 to 5).
> 
> When I was 25, a 22 year old would be great.
> Now a 42 year old would.
> 
> My body has changed ....and i certainly don't expect a 40 year old woman to be the same as she was at 20.
> However, i dont look the same either.
> 
> CONFIDENCE is a big turn on.


I think if I were to dig deep, my fear is that he doesn't expect my body to look like when I was 20 but perhaps secretly wishes it did.


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## nice777guy

At the circus - female clown walks by - yep, I'm thinkin' 'bout how she looks naked...

...but keep the wig, make-up and fake nose...just for something different...


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> At the circus - female clown walks by - yep, I'm thinkin' 'bout how she looks naked...
> 
> ...but keep the wig, make-up and fake nose...just for something different...


Okay, looking is one thinking but undressing? If he is so happy with what he already has, why do this? Why do you?


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## nice777guy

Brennan said:


> Okay, looking is one thinking but undressing? If he is so happy with what he already has, why do this? Why do you?


Don't know - don't analyze - just do.

btw - LOVE the new High Heel avatar!!!

:smthumbup:


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> Don't know - don't analyze - just do.
> 
> btw - LOVE the new High Heel avatar!!!
> 
> :smthumbup:


Ahem, ****ty Mc****muffin wore those out last weekend. 

So I am overanalayzing this? Okay, so how do I heal my bruised feelings then?


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## nice777guy

I don't mean to make light of this, as I can tell its really bothering you. But honestly, I've never really thought about "why" I do it. It really is a bit like breathing - its just kind of second nature, so you don't question it. Been doing it since I hit puberty.

I'm guessing/hoping that if you didn't realize this for years, then he's fairly discreet about it. I guess maybe that's one way to make yourself feel better - he could have been more obvious about it and made you uncomfortable. 

And yes - like you said - at least he's admitted it. Hard to beat someone up for being honest.

And it doesn't mean that we aren't happy with what we have. Look around the board at all of the stories about people who cheat - maybe that will make you feel better?


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> I don't mean to make light of this, as I can tell its really bothering you. But honestly, I've never really thought about "why" I do it. It really is a bit like breathing - its just kind of second nature, so you don't question it. Been doing it since I hit puberty.
> 
> I'm guessing/hoping that if you didn't realize this for years, then he's fairly discreet about it. I guess maybe that's one way to make yourself feel better - he could have been more obvious about it and made you uncomfortable.
> 
> And yes - like you said - at least he's admitted it. Hard to beat someone up for being honest.
> 
> And it doesn't mean that we aren't happy with what we have. Look around the board at all of the stories about people who cheat - maybe that will make you feel better?


He doesn't cheat so that makes it cool? Huh? Blah, it's because of my age that this is bothering me. I guarantee you it wouldn't have when I was 25. Perhaps he should have been honest back then when I asked him!  Now I just feel totally insecure.


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## nice777guy

Brennan said:


> He doesn't cheat so that makes it cool? Huh? Blah, it's because of my age that this is bothering me. I guarantee you it wouldn't have when I was 25. Perhaps he should have been honest back then when I asked him!  Now I just feel totally insecure.


He's only looking. He's married, but he's not dead.

He's been polite about it - not flaunting it - not flirting openly with other women in front of you.

And he's now being honest with you about it.

So its not JUST the "not cheating" thing.

And he's not doing it because you've aged. When you were 25 - he was looking at other 25 year olds, and 20 year olds, and 30 year olds.

Sounds kind of harsh - wish I had a nicer way to say it - but it really has nothing to do with you.

Not sure how to make you feel better - except to say that it has nothing to do with how attractive your wife is.


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## BlackMedicine357

Brennan said:


> Thank you guys for your responses. Deejo, I won't go "Viking" on his ass, unless that's a good thing?


I saw Deejo in his earlier post on "going all 'viking/Valkyrie on his a** " and just about fell out of my chair. :rofl:

But then brennan's response got me thinking, that really could be a good thing...especially with the horns on the helm, plate armor bustier...huhm...maybe some bearskin trimmed 6" spike heels....OH YEAH....add a mace for some prop action... and chain me to the oars...YES MA'AM...I'll be glad to stroke your boat............."kill da wabbit, killda wabbit, kill da wabbit!

But I digress. Seriously, my W is 43 this year and while I see a lot of younger 'eye-candy,' I can honestly say she is sexier now than all of them. First, I KNOW HER. She has been with me for 21 years and while she can be a pain with her attitudes, I'm rarely shocked by her. An unknown variable in a 20 year old body, while visually appealing, would probably put stuff on me mentally and emotionally I'd not be able to handle without imploding. Nope, glitter girls don't do it for me, I need my WOMAN. Second, SHE KNOWS ME. And all my buttons that when pushed in the right sequence can SLAY ME sexually, emotionally and intellectually! The 20 year old flawless body would not even get me up to ramming speed because she doesn't have fundamental life experience, much less experience peculiar to me. Just not there.


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## MarriedWifeInLove

And here's a SHOCK to you men out there...women look too.

Don't think I haven't ever looked at a guy who I thought was HOT and wondered what he looked like undressed and how HE would be in bed.

Not just an exclusive to just men - the only difference being that men are usually more obvious and brag about it with their buddies and us gals have a little more cooth!


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## Therealbrighteyes

BlackMedicine357 said:


> I saw Deejo in his earlier post on "going all 'viking/Valkyrie on his a** " and just about fell out of my chair. :rofl:
> 
> But then brennan's response got me thinking, that really could be a good thing...especially with the horns on the helm, plate armor bustier...huhm...maybe some bearskin trimmed 6" spike heels....OH YEAH....add a mace for some prop action... and chain me to the oars...YES MA'AM...I'll be glad to stroke your boat............."kill da wabbit, killda wabbit, kill da wabbit!
> 
> But I digress. Seriously, my W is 43 this year and while I see a lot of younger 'eye-candy,' I can honestly say she is sexier now than all of them. First, I KNOW HER. She has been with me for 21 years and while she can be a pain with her attitudes, I'm rarely shocked by her. An unknown variable in a 20 year old body, while visually appealing, would probably put stuff on me mentally and emotionally I'd not be able to handle without imploding. Nope, glitter girls don't do it for me, I need my WOMAN. Second, SHE KNOWS ME. And all my buttons that when pushed in the right sequence can SLAY ME sexually, emotionally and intellectually! The 20 year old flawless body would not even get me up to ramming speed because she doesn't have fundamental life experience, much less experience peculiar to me. Just not there.


I wasn't implying having a relationship with a 20 something year old. I seriously doubt that a man would have difficulty with a "flawless 20 something".
My question was more why need more if what you have is so great? I don't get it.


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## nice777guy

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> And here's a SHOCK to you men out there...women look too.
> 
> Don't think I haven't ever looked at a guy who I thought was HOT and wondered what he looked like undressed and how HE would be in bed.
> 
> Not just an exclusive to just men - the only difference being that men are usually more obvious and brag about it with their buddies and us gals have a little more cooth!


Trust me - I realize this. My wife acts like a screaming teenager when she sees Brad Pitt or Antonio Banderas.

I might get all excited about Selma Hayek - who is much older than 27 - but I TRY to keep my cool about it!


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## Trenton

Brennan, I get it. You feel betrayed because all you wanted was the truth and the chance to process the truth but now you find out he was feeding you lines until now he decides to drop it on you and now you're at a point in your life where this small truth disrupts your entire sense of self and where your relationship is.

OK. So we got that. Now what can you do about it? Do you doubt your husband entirely because of this? Do you think he's honest? Did he ever recognize the betrayal and how much pain the dishonesty caused you? Did he promise to come clean for the sake of raw honesty rather than not having to deal with how you respond? Did he explain to you why he did it?--was it out of his own insecurities in that he didn't think he should have those feelings or did he just not want to see your response?

Write down all these questions and hash it out with him so you can move on. I know you wrote about this very topic a few months ago I believe so I'm thinking this is still REALLY bothering you. You've got to keep at it so you can forgive him for it and stop resenting the crap out of him. BUT you really need him to be blunt honest with you as well.


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## okeydokie

i still crave my wifes body, no it isnt anywhere near where it was 20 years ago and neither is mine. so what. its all i really want, i just want it way more than i get it


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## MarriedWifeInLove

So how old are you this year?

I'll be 51 this year and it never really bothered me until last year. I guess hitting that 50 mark was affecting my psyche more than I thought. He always looked and never hid it (in fact, if you were large-breasted he would almost get whiplash) and it was never an issue until last year.

I worked through it and decided that the issue WAS MINE, not his. I had developed some insecurity and some self-esteem and self-confidence issues - he was still as he always was - I was the one that changed.

Here it is a year later and I'm feeling much more confident and my self-esteem is back and I am looking gooood for almost 51, he needs to watch out!!

So much so, that it was I that pointed out the hot gal with the big breasts on a TV show we were watching last night. That's how things used to be - and it's great that they are back to where they were. I no longer feel threatened, though I still haven't figure out why I started feeling threatened in the first place??


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## Therealbrighteyes

Trenton said:


> Brennan, I get it. You feel betrayed because all you wanted was the truth and the chance to process the truth but now you find out he was feeding you lines until now he decides to drop it on you and now you're at a point in your life where this small truth disrupts your entire sense of self and where your relationship is.
> 
> OK. So we got that. Now what can you do about it? Do you doubt your husband entirely because of this? Do you think he's honest? Did he ever recognize the betrayal and how much pain the dishonesty caused you? Did he promise to come clean for the sake of raw honesty rather than not having to deal with how you respond? Did he explain to you why he did it?--was it out of his own insecurities in that he didn't think he should have those feelings or did he just not want to see your response?
> 
> Write down all these questions and hash it out with him so you can move on. I know you wrote about this very topic a few months ago I believe so I'm thinking this is still REALLY bothering you. You've got to keep at it so you can forgive him for it and stop resenting the crap out of him. BUT you really need him to be blunt honest with you as well.


We have talked. I really think this is my issue and my insecurities with me getting older. Here's the truth: had he told me when I was 25, I wouldn't have cared. I looked awesome, felt awesome and had loads of confidence. I found out about this a few months ago though....at nearly 40. I still think I look awesome but my confidence is eroding just a bit as I creep towards my birthday. Now the thought of him undressing 27 years olds makes me panic. It's lame, I know.


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## Trenton

OK so you've got to squash it. Stamp it out and recognize how f'ing beautiful you are already!


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## Therealbrighteyes

Trenton said:


> OK so you've got to squash it. Stamp it out and recognize how f'ing beautiful you are already!


Eh, it's a difficult habit to break. If I can't squash it, maybe a new set of boobs will. Ring in my 40's with a new set of twins.  I am partially joking.


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## BlackMedicine357

Brennan said:


> I wasn't implying having a relationship with a 20 something year old. I seriously doubt that a man would have difficulty with a "flawless 20 something".
> My question was more why need more if what you have is so great? I don't get it.


 Brennan,

You asked what do men really think of their wives getting old. And my thoughts are that while the eye candy of younger women is enjoyable, I do not need them for a relationship because what I have is a great investment over time. Sure she is suffering from gravity droop in a couple places, but she is my CHOICE. I picked her over all the females that I could have had and continue to choose her over and over again because of who she is and who she is to me. She's not perfect nor am I. We are both aging, so what? The life we have together is a great deal for both of us, and though we are getting older I feel we are getting wiser. Intelligent men, (and that seems to be what I see on TAM), and intelligent women seek to find new info and strategies to make their marriage investment work and "pay better." 

So visually flawless 20 year olds appeal a little. My spouse? Growing old with her is what I signed on for, so my thoughts are good for her getting old. I refuse to believe that older is always worse. I'm looking forward to seeing her become better and enjoying a rich life into our 80s together.


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## Trenton

Brennan said:


> Eh, it's a difficult habit to break. If I can't squash it, maybe a new set of boobs will. Ring in my 40's with a new set of twins.  I am partially joking.


I actually have an appointment on March 9th to meet with a plastic surgeon to get a breast reduction. He told me insurance would most likely cover it given my frame and size. I had my measurements done...I've been wearing 38DDD or 36GG's, whatever fits sort of and when I got my measurements done yesterday, turns out I'm actually a 34I. WTH?!

I'm anxious, looking at before and afters scare me and I've read the surgery is really serious. I like my boobs but I HATE their size!

So anyway, I can really relate!


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## nice777guy

Trenton said:


> I actually have an appointment on March 9th to meet with a plastic surgeon to get a breast reduction. He told me insurance would most likely cover it given my frame and size. I had my measurements done...I've been wearing 38DDD or 36GG's, whatever fits sort of and when I got my measurements done yesterday, turns out I'm actually a 34I. WTH?!
> 
> I'm anxious, looking at before and afters scare me and I've read the surgery is really serious. I like my boobs but I HATE their size!
> 
> So anyway, I can really relate!


Just 

Don't 

Get it...


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## Deejo

Brennan said:


> We have talked. I really think this is my issue and my insecurities with me getting older. Here's the truth: had he told me when I was 25, I wouldn't have cared. I looked awesome, felt awesome and had loads of confidence. I found out about this a few months ago though....at nearly 40. I still think I look awesome but my confidence is eroding just a bit as I creep towards my birthday. Now the thought of him undressing 27 years olds makes me panic. It's lame, I know.


You remain both beautiful and youthful on the inside. That is what will continue to dictate that your husband only ever actually seeks out and desires one woman ... you. Confidence, enthusiasm and experience are far, far more appealing than youth. Red pumps FTW.


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> Just
> 
> Don't
> 
> Get it...


You would if you had a bra cutting into your shoulder blades on a daily basis. Or lower back pain.Or being gawked at because of your large breasts. Or being automatically viewed as "easy" because of something you cannot help. Or not being able to buy certain outfits or "pairs" because of the vast difference in your lower body frame vs. your upper. 

Go for it Trenton! I'd ask to steal your leftovers but I am good in that department as well. I just need them heading North a little more.


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## MarriedWifeInLove

Trenton said:


> I actually have an appointment on March 9th to meet with a plastic surgeon to get a breast reduction. He told me insurance would most likely cover it given my frame and size. I had my measurements done...I've been wearing 38DDD or 36GG's, whatever fits sort of and when I got my measurements done yesterday, turns out I'm actually a 34I. WTH?!
> 
> I'm anxious, looking at before and afters scare me and I've read the surgery is really serious. I like my boobs but I HATE their size!
> 
> So anyway, I can really relate!


I'm a 38DD and my husband would KILL for a 34I.

He'd kill me if I get a reduction - see, he's a boob man...

I'm thinking about ringing my 51st in with a boob job (lift and possible increase), and a tummy tuck!


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## Trenton

nice777guy said:


> Just
> 
> Don't
> 
> Get it...


Easy for you to say! Come on, if your penis was so big that it was hurting you to carry it around wouldn't you think something was wrong?


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## Trenton

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I'm a 38DD and my husband would KILL for a 34I.
> 
> He'd kill me if I get a reduction - see, he's a boob man...
> 
> I'm thinking about ringing my 51st in with a boob job (lift and possible increase), and a tummy tuck!


It leaves permanent scars, there's a chance of loss of nipple sensation, yadda, yadda. 

My husband is a boob & leg man actually. He is not really behind me on this and I am having him come with me in hopes it will help him get on my side.

The surgeon I'm going to does a lollipop boob reduction which has less scars and recovery time supposedly. Apparently with insurance they have to get a certain amount of weight out of each boob...this is really funny to me. I'll let you know what I find out. I can't ever, ever, EVER imagine going bigger. Ouch!!!


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## Trenton

Deejo said:


> You remain both beautiful and youthful on the inside. That is what will continue to dictate that your husband only ever actually seeks out and desires one woman ... you. Confidence, enthusiasm and experience are far, far more appealing than youth. Red pumps FTW.


Awwww Deejo you're so cute and cuddly!


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## nice777guy

Trenton said:


> Easy for you to say! Come on, if your penis was so big that it was hurting you to carry it around wouldn't you think something was wrong?


First of all WHO SAID ITS NOT!!!


(sorry, couldnt' resist)

And second - I apologize. I mis-read. I DO understand the reductions. 

Have just heard more than a couple of people lately talking about enlargements so I just kind of jumped up on my soapbox without reading closely.

Its enlargements that I don't understand.


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## Trenton

nice777guy said:


> First of all WHO SAID ITS NOT!!!
> 
> 
> (sorry, couldnt' resist)
> 
> And second - I apologize. I mis-read. I DO understand the reductions.
> 
> Have just heard more than a couple of people lately talking about enlargements so I just kind of jumped up on my soapbox without reading closely.
> 
> Its enlargements that I don't understand.



I think in later life implants or lifts, it's more about wanting your youthful perkiness back. I get it. It's not fun to age.


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## nice777guy

Trenton said:


> It's not fun to age.


But everybody does...


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## Trenton

nice777guy said:


> But everybody does...


Absolutely. For once, a statement I can't argue! Foiled again.


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## nice777guy

Trenton said:


> Absolutely. For once, a statement I can't argue! Foiled again.


Understanding Conrad's "use few words" approach now...


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## michzz

Trenton said:


> Easy for you to say! Come on, if your penis was so big that it was hurting you to carry it around wouldn't you think something was wrong?


A man would just buy a roller skate and keep on moving.


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## Trenton

LOL


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## michzz

Trenton said:


> michzz...so she should continue to wear the choo heals and not wear grannie panties? Come on, you know her avatar has you in a tizzie!


You caught me, it's all about the shoes? 

Um, nah, it's about enthusiasm!


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## Therealbrighteyes

Ha ha, you guys! So, NG is packing heat so large he has to sling it over his shoulder? Interesting. 
Eh, I probably will get my boobs done and by done I mean a lift....no implant. I want them back to pre-baby days. Hubby loves them as they are. Me? Not so much. He kind of has a history of telling me I look awesome but he tends to see things in his ideal and not what they really are. I guess that is a good thing.


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## Therealbrighteyes

nice777guy said:


> Understanding Conrad's "use few words" approach now...


Nobody understands Conrad. He is like the Oracle or the clitoris.


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## michzz

Brennan said:


> Nobody understands Conrad. He is like the Oracle or the clitoris.


Had me wondering for a minute where on the body the Oracle is.


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## Trenton

michzz said:


> Had me wondering for a minute where on the body the Oracle is.


That's OK, now every time Conrad posts I'm going to picture a clitoris. Thanks Brennan!


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## nice777guy

With a hood of course...


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## Rob774

vthomeschoolmom said:


> My husband fantasizes about younger women. And older women. Women in swimsuits. Women in habits. Women ... just about any which way. I am glad he shares his feelings with me. He must feel very comfy with me to do that.
> 
> He says younger women look nice but are lousy lays. And ... they have this obnoxious tendency to open their mouths to speak when they know NOTHING about anything. (Obviously this is exaggeration for the sake of our joking.)
> 
> I know my husband is still wildly attracted to me. *He says so with our 2 1/2 week long streak.*


I continue to bow to your greatness, and be jealous at the same time. YOu get 17-18 days concurrently, it takes me like 3 months to get that many times in.

TO the OP, i look at other women, its hard not to because the attractiveness of a curvy woman is just awe inspiring to me, i can't really put it in any other way. So i'm always going to check out curvy women from 18-80, but my heart only goes out to one woman... the wife.


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## RandomDude

The missus herself has been aging quite quick, and she's not even 30 yet. Despite all the maintenance and money it still happens. Personally I don't really give a sh-t, her body is still great regardless, and I didn't marry her for her bloody looks. I married her for her strength.

Besides, I'm still younger then her yet I have my white hairs already popping out - hairs in which she always likes to PLUCK from time to time. *pluck* *pluck* *pluck*... -.- It's become her hobby. Rather annoying really. But still, can't really talk, we're both aging.

When someone has become so important in your life, aging is a minor issue.


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