# How do i start this process on my own?



## Heavy Heart x (May 22, 2013)

Hi everyone. I know that you all have your own things to deal with, but I just really needed to hear from people who may have also experienced something similar....I need advice. Badly. This has gone on for much too long. I'm too emotionally-fragile for this...

I will sum things up to the best of my abilities. I'm 26. I got married when I was 21. The marriage only lasted about a year; he got deeper and deeper into drinking, abused me emotionally all of the time and abused me physically at other times-- when he would drink. He is really the most heartless person that I have ever come to know, but I was obsessed with him for so long and was blinded bleh bleh, so summed up: he was very manipulative; I am still very mentally screwed up from him. 

My problem is: he only cares about drinking-- he was supposed to take care of us getting legally divorced, and he has not. I have not heard from him in about 2 years now. We have been separated now for about 4 YEARS. No way of contacting him. He ignores me no matter what. I feel like this is his way of still having some control over me because he knows it bothers me. He isn't damaging his life at all because he doesn't have anything in his life (besides liquor). He is seriously really mentally-unstable. I just want to get divorced, cut off all ties, maybe get a restraining order against him, etc. 

We have no kids together, thank god. All I need is a divorce. But I have no idea where he is even living now!!! I am literally pretty much poor. I'm a full-time college student with many physical health conditions and having a hard time even working part-time right now. I don't have money for a lawyer. But what can I do? Anything? Where do I even start in this process if I have to do it all on my own? 

I live in Pennsylvania.

There needs to be SOMETHING that I can do even if I don't really have money. Is there? Anybody-- please help with any advice. He has had complete control over me since I was 19 years old, and I am 26 now. Enough is enough. I have too much stress in my life for a 26 year old-- and I don't need to keep carrying around this particular emotional burden. I have been in a serious, wonderful relationship with an extraordinary man for 2 years now, and being separated/not divorced by someone else is quite a damper to say the least. 

Thank you for anyone who reads this XO,

Heavy Heart


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

Have you tried legal aide services in your county?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Heavy Heart x (May 22, 2013)

I remember contacting a few offices back in the day. They didn't deal with divorce though. I have looked up more lawyers... found quite a few in my area. I will start by contacting one tomorrow. Just today, I heard about 'Divorce by publication.' I never even heard of that before! Getting an ad put in the newspaper to see if he contacts the number within a certain amount of days, and if not, a divorce is granted. I never knew there was such a thing, seems like that is what I'm going to have to do. Yeah, I had absolutely no idea where to even start. I come from a family of no divorces...


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