# Vacation Alone



## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away. 

This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


As someone who travels frequently for work, I am very comfortable eating alone in a restaurant. 

It does take a change of attitude if it's something you're not already familiar/comfortable with. 

Books or a laptop help. These days, having a laptop, tablet, or smartphone is completely accepted and nobody will bat an eye, so it's just up to you to get comfortable with it. 

Personally, I don't recommend the room service route for two reasons. First, holing up in your room just increases the sense of isolation (unless you are of a personality type that really cherishes alone time and needs a lot of it). Second, the food options are so much greater if you get out and about. Go try an exotic cuisine you're not already familiar with, or find a 5 star example of your favorite cuisine. Get waited on. Talk to the waitstaff and learn while you dine. Expand your palette! 

You've been through a huge jolt. It's great you're going to get out and treat yourself!!! Congrats and good on ya'!!! While you're at it, make the most of it. 

Maybe to early to eat at the resort bar... beware if you're not overtly looking to get approached.


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## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Maybe to early to eat at the resort bar... beware if you're not overtly looking to get approached.


Not looking to hook up but it wouldn't hurt my ego to get some offers. :wink2:


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## Wazza (Jul 23, 2012)

Another one who travels with work. I will usually have book or tablet computer when I eat. Gives me something to think about and a direction for my eyes to look in.

I eat in my room sometimes, and that’s ok, but you don’t want to just be stuck in your room.


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## Oldtimer (May 25, 2018)

Time for a change. If you’ve never eaten alone, bring a book, people watch. I would find a nice table with a view and have a lovely dinner by myself.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Me too, bring a book or a newspaper.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Book or paper......Do it every day


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

For variety when alone, I have used shuttle transport provided by place I was staying to go to near-by interesting restaurant and then to return. They were happy to make suggestions.

The more you do this, the easier it is. Same applies for theater, sports events, etc. BTW: I drink no more than a glass of wine when doing such as this away from place I am staying


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## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

sunsetmist said:


> BTW: I drink no more than a glass of wine when doing such as this away from place I am staying


Good advice!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I need to do this! A trip away, all by myself. Hope you have a great time. :smile2:

I read the book "Living Alone and Loving It" by Barbara Feldon and she talks about getting the hang of going out by yourself. One thing she suggests is taking a book until you feel a bit more confident. After a while, she didn't feel the need to take a book and would strike up conversations with all sorts of people as she travelled around by herself.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I wouldn't trust that snake of a husband of yours alone at your house while you're away as far as I could throw him. I think you said he finally 'moved out' but from the sounds of it, much like a parasite, he's still insinuating himself into your home and life like he still lives there.

In that vein, I'd be petrified to leave him alone in the house because you don't know what valuables he'll be taking without your knowledge. This is the type of guy who'd sell his own mother to a rogue band of gypsies if he got a good enough price for her.

One thing you _should_ do before leaving for your spa weekend is to ask Mr. Slimeball for a couple of those condoms he's got "hidden" in his briefcase so you can take them on your get-away. I mean that with all sincerity - ask him for a couple of them. I highly doubt he'll use all 12-15 of them before you go away so tell him not to be so damned stingy and to fork over a couple of them.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Whereas I agree kind of with the snarky but applicable condom question I personally wouldn't contribute to encouraging any malicious behavior because of something I was a smart butt about just before I left town for a few days. 

Caveat; he's going to do what he's going to do anyway, we all know that, but trying to keep the fires down while out of town and he's in your shared home alone with your stuff may be logical.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

When are you going? I’ll go with you!!!!

I would bring a good book to read. Get lost in a good story...really escape all the **** you’re going through right now. 

I agree about being careful about your ex. Hide that jewelry you were asking about earlier. 

And if he asks if you’re going with someone just say “not your business” 😄😄


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Maybe ensure you have pictures of your stuff before you leave.

I don't know, sorry for the negativity and we might be wrong, but it's a risk.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


This feeling of being alone will likely never leave you.

If it does, than you are doomed to being, becoming complacent.

Doomed to be a loner. By new habit.

A loner is a sad being, in a sad situation.

There is no better place to be, than being in the arms of the one that you love....
And they properly loving you.

This does not mean you cannot have some alone time, some down time. That is good for the soul. Especially, with what you are experiencing.
Just do not make a habit of it.

A wheel not greased, gets squeaky and stiff. It wobbles when it spins. Just like those supermarket carts.
Ah, that is from overuse and no lube!

Eat alone, walk alone.

See who God puts before you. This will eventually happen.
It may be the new 'one' right away or just a parade of bums.

I would wait until your divorce is final before getting serious with anyone else.

Being alone at this time is just dandy. Just do not get too used to it. And not to become numb to all the other 'arrangements'.
Habits are hard to break.





[THM]- Lilith


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## blazer prophet (Jun 1, 2019)

My wife and I both travel a bit alone. When I go somewhere alone and if the weather is decent, I like to get food 'to go' and find a nice spot to eat it. Maybe a park, maybe even eat in my car at an ocean overlook.... If I do go to a restaurant, I try and chose one with a view, go early so I know I can get a good seat, and enjoy the view. If nothing else, I like to read a newspaper when I eat.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I think its awesome you are going to get away and get some ME time! Take a book or tablet, or just use your phone to web surf or read. No one thinks someone eating by themselves is as odd as we are afraid they do, lol.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

From my experience of watching "The Love Boat", this won't be a problem. About 5 minutes after you arrive you'll bump into your perfect partner in a hilariously funny mixup and spend the whole time together. 

It is not at all odd to see single people scattered around a place like this. Maybe they came alone, or maybe they came with the family and are taking a bit of time for themselves. 

If this is a resort spa with a lot of patio seating, get a table outside. It will feel more open and people don't notice each other as much. Just make sure you put your purse on the floor a little away from your chair so a devilishly handsome stranger can trip over it.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


I eat alone while traveling all the time and really enjoy it. I usually bring my kindle. I have a friend who lives in Hawaii and she'll deliberately go to this one place alone to eat because she loves the view.

Eating at the bar can work out really well too if you enjoy casual conversation with strangers. (Or bury your nose in your phone if you don't.)

The first few times you eat alone you will probably feel conspicuous, but think about all the time you've eaten out -- were you noticing and wondering about people who were alone? Probably not.

Enjoy your vacation. I think it's a brilliant idea.


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## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I wouldn't trust that snake of a husband of yours alone at your house while you're away as far as I could throw him. I think you said he finally 'moved out' but from the sounds of it, much like a parasite, he's still insinuating himself into your home and life like he still lives there.
> 
> In that vein, I'd be petrified to leave him alone in the house because you don't know what valuables he'll be taking without your knowledge. This is the type of guy who'd sell his own mother to a rogue band of gypsies if he got a good enough price for her.
> 
> One thing you _should_ do before leaving for your spa weekend is to ask Mr. Slimeball for a couple of those condoms he's got "hidden" in his briefcase so you can take them on your get-away. I mean that with all sincerity - ask him for a couple of them. I highly doubt he'll use all 12-15 of them before you go away so tell him not to be so damned stingy and to fork over a couple of them.


It is over a month away so I will see how things are going then. I could always ask my mom to stay here.


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## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

notmyjamie said:


> When are you going? I’ll go with you!!!!
> 
> I would bring a good book to read. Get lost in a good story...really escape all the **** you’re going through right now.
> 
> ...


On my atty's advice, I am storing it all in a safe deposit box at local bank.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I wish more people would practice being alone, many are so dependant on others they never learn to enjoy their own company. 

I love to read while I eat so I always take a book with me. As far as traveling alone I love it, to be able to set my own schedule and itinerary is a vacation of its own! 

Enjoy spoiling yourself!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

wilson said:


> From my experience of watching "The Love Boat", this won't be a problem. About 5 minutes after you arrive you'll bump into your perfect partner in a hilariously funny mixup and spend the whole time together.
> 
> It is not at all odd to see single people scattered around a place like this. Maybe they came alone, or maybe they came with the family and are taking a bit of time for themselves.
> 
> If this is a resort spa with a lot of patio seating, get a table outside. It will feel more open and people don't notice each other as much. Just make sure you put your purse on the floor a little away from your chair so a devilishly handsome stranger can trip over it.


Or a real devil can steal it, your purse and your heart and your.....
Careful.

You are now vulnerable.

From hearing kind words, receiving kind gestures.

Keep in mind, kindness often comes with a price and a warning tag (line).
If it truly comes from another lonely place, heed, enjoy, but be watchful.

Butter on words, spell fat-trouble later.





THM]- Lilith
Stay away from the likes of The Typist I. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it.

With men, you watch their eyes, you watch what they look at, you watch what they avoid looking at (in your presence).
Then you blend the eyeballing together and find out their worth and their true intentions.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


Time to start hitting firsts. Go to dinner alone and bringing a book is a great idea. Many people dine alone. It just feels odd to you. Nothing wrong with folks who dine alone. Many people nowadays are not partnered. It is not weird. That is just an insecurity you need to conquer head on.


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

I appreciate that this was months ago - but how did you get on? Is there anything you learnt/experienced that might help others?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

20yr said:


> So, as I am going through my divorce, I am planning a spa weekend away.
> 
> This may be an odd question but I am wondering what to do at dinner time. Is it weird to go to the resort restaurant alone? Maybe eat at the bar? Do I bring a book? Or just get room service? I don't want to bring a female friend on the trip because I feel like I need some time alone and to be in charge of my own schedule. But, I have never eaten at a restaurant alone for dinner.


Book, magazines, iPad, or an Android tablet? Apple Mac? Chromebook? (Sorry, that's just my problem. I am a Chrome junkie! )


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