# The things that make me stop wishing he'd come back



## staircase (May 16, 2011)

This is just shameless b'tching but I don't care right now. I have had to keep a few painful things at the forefront of my mind so I don't fire up email/AIM/text messages to him.

1. I am prone to panic attacks-well now I'm on the right meds. Regardless way back when we were trying MC he went off on me in the counselors office. I was crying then I was crying harder and harder which made him come after me more. Finally I couldn't breathe and had to lay down on the floor, gasping for air like a fish out of water. He stormed out and the counselor went out to talk to him. She came back in to check on me and asked if I could get a ride home. Apparently he was FURIOUS I had a panic attack because it just showed what a "drama queen" I am. She actually told me his lack of empathy was the worst she'd ever seen and there was no way he would stop being mad and check in on me.

2. This is the third time he's left me.

3. When we were going to move out of state he told me that he doesn't want me to bring my son who is just shy of 19. He'd rather pay for him to stay here. Then he went on to tell me that he was nervous that something would happen and he would end up having to live with us. That was what finally ended the marriage. I told him that under no circumstances would I agree to leaving my son.

even typing out those horrible things, I'm still sad


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I can understand your sadness, even if it wasn't that great of a marriage. When your with someone for a long time, it's hard to adjust to life without them.

I couldn't leave my son either.

Oh and your H's behavior in the C office is despicable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

So where's the shameless b*tching.
I wouldn't put that label on it!
It just looks to me like you are spelling out reality here to see if it can be validated by others...and yes, I'll step up to say it's not shameless b*tching at all!

My kids and I are tight too, despite having cut the apron strings with the eldest who is a bit older than yours, we have a wonderful relationship and it is entirely by choice. Because we actually like each other and value each other's input and share common interests and history. Enjoy that and don't let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with it (like your H).

My H tried to alienate me from my son by saying things about my son's guy friends, that I wanted them (in a sexual way) and also made rude comments about my son's girl friends (not girlfriend, but girl friends, as in classmates...) who would give him rides or share text books with him (math text book was $200, good grief!) Anyway, H's can say weird things when they detect that you have something good going for you in the way of parenting. Especially if they are trying to knock you down to be in control of the marriage. Very maladaptvie, as is not accepting someone's illness or condition (BTDT).


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Stair it is good you have posted these things, specially if they help you to stop wishing he would come back. 

I have good reasons which I keep trying to bring to my mind , but then I just forget them when I am missing him.. Today I keep posting this on every thread I chip in on. What am I trying to achieve?


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

It's been a rough day even with these reminders. I cried my head off to my son and I feel terrible about it. He was rightfully like "um, I'm not sure what to tell you Mom."


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I'm glad you're going on that trip, sadand! It sounds like a lot of fun. 

Another thing-he hates my dog. That dog was here long before you and she's been here long after so suck it sbtx.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

That really should have been my first clue that he's really bad news.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

stair: Remember these moments they will strengthen your resolve to leave a callous person such as your STBXH. 

I reminded myself of this his taking off on me in April for 2 wks, May for 2 wks and end of this month for 2 wks. Not leaving any money and the cold selfishness. The EA that didn't pan out, his problem.

Yes remember this is not the person you had married and if he asked you to marry him today, would you?

I know I wouldn't marry this zombie who pretends to be happy 24/7. Small, f ing weirdo with a strange relationship with an inanimate object (motorcycle). 

Would you marry or even date this cold hearted, uncaring, selfish, wanna get rid of you person? NO


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

You are not *****ing at all, just seeing truths

truths can suck

You have inspired me to make a list...  I wish I knew that I was not being mean. My logical mind knows I am not mean. that I am too nice even now when he would speak as if I were so cruel.

why does my heart still hurt as if I were mean? lol my brain is broken


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

staircase said:


> 2. This is the third time he's left me.


GOOD RIDDANCE to him!!!!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Yeah, I think I have finally learned my lesson after 8 years of crap. I really just didn't want to give up on him but now I have no choice.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Think of it as a gift


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have you seen the movie "For Colored Girls?"

There is a woman in that movie who's guy leaves her a lot and ends up shacking up with an OW constnatly. SHe gets home from work some days after their relationship going smoothly and will sometimes find his stuff gone. It's a pattern.

So she tells him that it's going to stop, that either he picks her or leaves cause she is tired of coming home to find him gone and all his stuff gone w/ zero explanation. He says Ok and begs for her back, promising to change.

So she gets home one time with his birthday cake and all this other stuff ready to celebrate and realizes, he's left again. All his clothes are gone. Her heart breaks. But she realizes the truth for what it is. 

The next time he comes back begging her, apologizing, she tells him to F off. Means it this time. He says "So this is Goodbye?" And she goes "Like you've never seen it before" and closes the door in his face.

Goodbye!!!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

God I'd hate to go through that. At least I had some heads up before he dumped me on my @ss.

I was pretty much in pieces but I'm much better now. Not 100% but much better. It helped with my ego and dignity to be the one drafting papers and filing for the divorce.

Never again, stupid man. Never again.


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