# What I'm tired of



## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

everyone knows that spouse's have annoying habits, make choices the other doesn't understand. After infidelity though, it's like I have no room for more understanding. It's a continual choice to see if I can live with stuff. And not stuff in the past - things going on now. 

Hubby decided to be in a commercial for his friend and now he'll be in the living rooms of the BS's and his AP's. I would never do this. But I'm sure the thought never even occurred to him. So I just watch him make his choices and I decide if I can live with it. Why can't marriage be easier... To be clear, I'm sure he has these thoughts about me too - why can't she spend less money... or along those lines..


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> everyone knows that spouse's have annoying habits, make choices the other doesn't understand. After infidelity though, it's like I have no room for more understanding. It's a continual choice to see if I can live with stuff. And not stuff in the past - things going on now.
> 
> Hubby decided to be in a commercial for his friend and now he'll be in the living rooms of the BS's and his AP's. I would never do this. But I'm sure the thought never even occurred to him. So I just watch him make his choices and I decide if I can live with it. Why can't marriage be easier... To be clear, I'm sure he has these thoughts about me too - why can't she spend less money... or along those lines..


I think being considerate of each other and each other's feelings is just being human 101...you both made bad choices in cheating but compounding that with insensitivity helps no one. 

Here is something else i do not understand - while I understand the desire for revenge and consequences - there comes a point where it has to stop - since continuing to punish another person is also hurting yourself...by trapping themselves in a marriage where they continuously hurt their spouse - they are voluntarily placing themselves in prison


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

I'm not sure we're purposely hurting each other or if we should be hurt by these types of thing... I just don't know what the answer is... try not to care what the other does? Let them live their life the way they want to?


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> I'm not sure we're purposely hurting each other or if we should be hurt by these types of thing... I just don't know what the answer is... try not to care what the other does? Let them live their life the way they want to?


i say you need to talk to each other and be aware of what hurts the other one..being aware of what hurts someone you love and then not doing it seems like a sensible approach...


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## tpdallas (Aug 28, 2015)

It did occur to him. Men may be simple in their needs, but they aren't stupid.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tpdallas said:


> It did occur to him. Men may be simple in their needs, but they aren't stupid.


Some of us really are.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

tpdallas said:


> It did occur to him. Men may be simple in their needs, but they aren't stupid.


so why do it then?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Because...he cheated and you let him stay? So he has no fear now?


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

I would say he's been pretty fearful I would leave for 3 years. He's likely caught between living his life and making me feel safe. What I'm asking is: should I just let this be or make a big deal of it?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Why do you allow him to speak to the AP period let alone be in her living room?!?

If it's job related tell him to GET A NEW JOB. I think it's sad that this is even a question.

Doesn't occur to him? When he walks into her house, he's going to imagine fvcking her on the couch.


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> Why do you allow him to speak to the AP period let alone be in her living room?!?
> 
> If it's job related tell him to GET A NEW JOB. I think it's sad that this is even a question.
> 
> Doesn't occur to him? When he walks into her house, he's going to imagine fvcking her on the couch.


Wow, I really didn't explain this very well. HE'll be in her living room on TV because he's in a commercial and she and her BS would be watching! That's what I meant. He does not have contact with her.
No, it's not for his job.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> Wow, I really didn't explain this very well. HE'll be in her living room on TV because he's in a commercial and she and her BS would be watching! That's what I meant. He does not have contact with her.
> No, it's not for his job.


Hahaha... I thought you meant they were filming at her house. That makes more sense.

I mean, that's a little extreme. I doubt he sees it that way but if it bothers you then tell him. But he can't live in a bubble forever either.


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