# follow-up on man who had 2 affairs 35 yrs ago



## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

A few weeks ago I posted about a friend of mine who has been married nearly 45 years who had two affairs more than 35 yrs ago. He asked if he should tell his wife. My response was no. A lot of people didn’t like my advice. Well here’s the update. 

He talked to his wife about going to counseling. His thoughts were that this would be the best time to tell her of his affairs. They both agreed and he called on a Thursday for an appointment with their minster for counseling the following Monday.

On Sunday they went to church but before church services an announcement was made that the minister had been dismissed and was no longer the minister of the church. The assistant minister gave the sermon that morning. 

Afterwards when my friend inquired, he learned that a lady church member had filed a complaint against him for seducing her while counseling her. They were have sex in his office late at night when all were gone. Apparently, he had done this before at his previous church in another state when he was married to wife #2. He was now on wife #3 when this happened..

My friend decided to drop the whole confessional thing. Why ruin 35 year of good marriage. He’s happy. She’s happy. The kids and grandkids are happy. The church members are unhappy. 

If I told the name of the town in Missouri, there would be someone here who knows this to be true.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Bull.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Bull.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


C'mon Conan, don't you think it was God himself weighing in on the much debated topic of "to tell the truth">


----------



## imperfectworld (Jan 18, 2015)

I didn't see your original thread, but it is nice that you did a follow-up.

It is a fascinating and sad dilemma - to tell or not to tell. I don't even have an opinion on it. I suppose the dilemma could apply to a lot of secrets, not just marital ones. Is it best to tell? Is it best to know? All just various smudges spread out over time from the original wrong.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

romer said:


> Why did you write "Bull"?



Much like a child in the early stages of development, will point to the sky and say, "plane!" ...Conan was simply pointing out a male of aggressive breeding status! 

:laugh:


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Truth is stranger than fiction? or maybe not


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Why did the wife originally agree to counseling if they're so happy? And, is she wondering why counseling is no longer on the table now that the minister has been fired?


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I believe it.

I could actually name a slimy pastor that did just as you described, plus embezzled money from the church.


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

And as someone who said keep quiet...I stand by my vote.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yup. Fvcking other people and keeping quiet about it is as noble as it gets.

You are a paragon of virtue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I don't know why people have a problem believing this. It's not uncommon for a minister to be not quite what he pretends to be.

As for your friend not telling his wife about his affairs 35 years ago, I don't think he should tell. Not now. It think that it would hurt his wife more than help her.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I agree with Elegirl. What I got out of the original thread was that the OP's friend was going to confess to make himself feel better not really to help his wife.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Without getting mired down in the debate from OP's other thread, I will say this...

This slime (referring to the "minister", of course) has absolutely no business ministering to anyone anywhere ever again.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I find the story of the minister too convenient.

I know ministers. I know just how full of shyt many of them are.

I find the timing and convenient placement of a wayward minister to be a bit incredible.

The lack of integrity found in this thread and the other is still a shock to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

