# Hubby with possible ADHD



## girlsaveyoursoul (Feb 8, 2013)

We are waiting on my husband being assessed by a psychiatrist and he can't get in until July, but we are thinking a lot of the symptoms sound like ADHD. In the past he has been diagnosed with OCD and put on anti-depressants but they have never done anything for him and the symptoms of OCD don't sound like him at all. We are thinking they mis-diagnosed him. 

It is affecting him hugely at work to the point where they are writing up something formal and he may be fired in a few weeks time. We are hoping his current psychologist will write something up for him to stop this from happening. 

His "issues" seem to have gotten a lot worse the past few months and I get to the point where I don't know if I can take it anymore. At times it feels like a parent-child relationship and feels like I am doing everything around the home/dealing with the children etc...and the stress gets to me until I become extremely resentful, aggitated and sometimes lash out at him. 

Are there any other people out there dealing with something like this? What do you do to cope?


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Its very possible he has adult ADHD, however can you tell us some of his symptoms/behavior?


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## girlsaveyoursoul (Feb 8, 2013)

Jamison said:


> Its very possible he has adult ADHD, however can you tell us some of his symptoms/behavior?


I just recently became aware that people with ADHD are prone to infidelity etc...my husband and I have been together almost 12 years, but only married for 5 of those. There have been many times years and years ago that he was on dating sites, sexual chatting with other women, getting phone numbers/pics. He has kissed other women and the worst being that he slept with a hooker. I didn't find out about the hooker until February, he'd been holding that secret in since 2005. We have 2 young children now and sometimes I feel trapped.

He makes lists of things to do, things to remember etc. There are lists all over our house and on the computer. It gets to the point where there's so many things on the lists that he becomes overwhelmed and panics/freaks out or has a breakdown. He spends countless hours on the computer, downloading every game known to man. If he doesn't have them all he feels like he's missing out on something. He interrupts conversations, daydreams, he can't empathize or listen to how I feel. He often times chooses to do things on the computer rather than spend time with our kids or me. He over-analyzes everything at work to the point where he may be fired now. He has horrible road rage and daydreams a lot/easily distracted while driving. He's very unorganized and tells me that he wouldn't even be able to get up to go to work everyday if it wasn't for me. He talks a lot and will ask me the same question over and over again 5 or more times because he doesn't like the answer I give him. Or he rambles on about useless random facts and information.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Doesn't sound strictly ADHD to me although there is clearly some trouble with impulsivity. The hyper focus of video games is not really a symptom so much as a by product. he actually sounds more Bi-polar than ADHD. During manic stages, Bi-polar people tend to be both highly impulsive and one track or hyper focused. During depressed stages they can rage or seek solitude. Also, a bi-polar adult who has never been appropriately treated, tends to have much poorer executive functioning skills and less mature than peers.

Executive functioning can be adversely affected by a lot of things, namely learning disorders.

The bottom line is this: It doesn't matter what the correct dx is, in terms of saving his job or being a good husband/father. Being mentally ill is a reason why some people act the way they do, but it is not an excuse.

Google ADHD coaching adults.

If he is about to loose his job, now would be the time to stop making excuses and start learning to reign himself in. None of what you describe seems out of his control, difficult to control yes, but not impossible to control.


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