# How to get "sexy" back?



## Peaches2011 (Nov 29, 2011)

We just had a baby 2 months ago as of Thursday. I had a C-Section and it took some time healing. I gained 70lbs during pregnancy and am trying to still lose 30lbs of it, + some extra! 

I think part of my problem right now is the desire to have sex. Where is the desire I had before we got pregnant? (It was planned; we've been married over 6yrs and were trying to get pregnant 4.5yrs with fertility treatments) 

I am sleep deprived but I feel great. I'm a SAHM/homemaker. I love getting dolled up. But, I feel like I am uninterested in sex period and that is completely opposite of how I use to be. How do you get it back after having a baby? Since I was cleared 2wks ago to be intimate, we've had sex twice. Ugh. Right now I'm a walking buffet and my "girls" belong to my 2 month old daughter!


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

You have experienced massive hormonal changes that will affect your libido. Some women experience increased sex drive after giving birth, but most lose some.

As for getting it back, there are several strategies. First, you can just have sex. Sex releases chemicals in your brain that increase libido. Basically, the more sex you have, the more sex you want. Fake it 'till you make it. Second, you can wait until you get more sleep. When your body is sleep deprived, libido is one of the things that it sacrifices to make you more interested in sleep. Third, you can wait until you stop breastfeeding. Breastfeeding also tends to decrease libido.

Obviously, the second and third options are long term and not really available right now, unless you want to switch to formula. The most practical strategy is to get used to the idea of a decreased libido for a while, but commit to having a little more sex than you're currently comfortable with, but less than you were pre-pregnancy.

Good luck.


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## Peaches2011 (Nov 29, 2011)

Excellent advice. Thank you! 

I plan to breastfeed until she is a year, so switching to formula isn't an option. You made some valid points and I didn't even consider the hormonal changes from pregnancy to having a baby, etc and how it could affect my libido! 

Thanks!


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Peaches2011 said:


> Excellent advice. Thank you!
> 
> I plan to breastfeed until she is a year, so switching to formula isn't an option. You made some valid points and I didn't even consider the hormonal changes from pregnancy to having a baby, etc and how it could affect my libido!
> 
> Thanks!


You also went through major surgery. It takes time to heal, even when the doctor has given you clearance, and it can take time to be confident that it has healed. My wife has had mutlple C-Sections and admitted to me that it took 6 months before she came close to feeling liker her self (and she still hates the scar). She did "fake it" a bit in the beginning to get these started back up.


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## Peaches2011 (Nov 29, 2011)

Tall Average Guy said:


> You also went through major surgery. It takes time to heal, even when the doctor has given you clearance, and it can take time to be confident that it has healed. My wife has had mutlple C-Sections and admitted to me that it took 6 months before she came close to feeling liker her self (and she still hates the scar). She did "fake it" a bit in the beginning to get these started back up.


Not to be too graphic, but orgasming for me feels different compared to how it would before I had my daughter. I think I hold back because the muscles in your abdomen tense, and sometimes that IS a little tender. Overall though, I feel great. 

I am going to try this "fake it" thing tonight ... Maybe force myself to get in the mood and just go with it. When you are sleep deprived, you're wearing spit up, and you feel like a walking buffet, it's hard to feel sexy. LOL


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## Patricia B. Pina (Nov 22, 2011)

Congratulations on the kids.
Don't worry, your sex drive will go back


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Patricia B. Pina said:


> Congratulations on the kids.
> Don't worry, your sex drive will go back


Um... not necessarily


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