# wife habitually sexting



## lumwah (Dec 18, 2011)

My wife has been sexting for over two years now. She started doing it with a woman online and then would randomly sext people we knew. I confronted her and thought it had stopped. Six months later it happened again. She apologized and supposedly stopped. 

She got more bold and began doing it regularly with a male friend from high school. I got really angry, there were many apologies and tears. Supposedly it stopped.

Now over a year later, I discovered it happening again this time with multiple strangers through online games. She said that she does it because she feels the need for attention. She says its not because of lack of attention from me. She claims to have never cheated nor never will. After so many lies I don't feel I can trust her.

Married for 16 years. 3 kids. Feel like my insides are ripped out.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

So what have you done about it? Nothing it seems. She sexts, then you bust her, then she cries, asks for forgiveness, then does it again. Wash, rinse, repeat. On top of all this, you don't know if she's been in a PA yet.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I've been through this, it's horrible. I feel for you.

What she is doing is considered online affairs. She is cheating on you. You need to handle this as multiple affairs. 

Do you know what you want to do yet? Are you willing to work on your marriage or do you think it's over. There are some very definate steps you need to take and things you need to demand from her if you want to go on.

These things include...

She has to give you the passwords to every account she has online... and that's before she goes on to delete everything.

She has to agree to you installing a key stroke tracker on the computer(s) she uses. The reason for this is so to discourage her from doing the sexting. IF she knows she is being watched she will be much less likely to do it again.

She has to send no contact emails to each person she has an online relationship with telling them that she chooses her marriage, that she has done a terrible thing to you and that she will no longer be in contact with them.

If you need to unplug the computers in your home from the internet. That way she cannot get online. You can always reconnect them when you want to. If she's at home alone... take the internet connection with you.

Get her to agree to go to a doctor/psychologist. She is probaby suffering from some kind of depression, bi-polar, something that makes her feel a need for the attention. Like any addiction it's about the brain chemistry surges the behavior give her.

There are others here who will give you more info on all of this to handle the situation.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I see this as cheating. I can't imagine doing this to anyone other then my husband. There is no excuse for it whatsoever. I think you need to set stiffer concenquences or it's going to happen again. She surly is crossing the line. 

If that was my husband, I think it would be time to dig deeper and see if anything else is going on. I'd start with the phone, then head right to the computer. I'd even be tempted to buy a keylogger at this point.

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I've been through this, it's horrible. I feel for you.
> 
> What she is doing is considered online affairs. She is cheating on you. You need to handle this as multiple affairs.
> 
> ...


Print this out and read it over and over again until it becomes etched in your mind and leads you to action.

It up to you. You can either enforce these boundaries a move on if she violates them or continue to suffer in a one sided open marriage.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. If the roles were reversed and you were constantly sexting other women, would she be as accepting as you have been?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's not cheating. It's something like exhibitionistic OCD. Exhibitionism is a kind of compulsion, is often treated as an OCD disorder, IF it manifests as uncontrollable. Which it sounds like this is.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

bryanp said:


> No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.


Exactly. You can't make her stop. But you can change how you deal with it. Tolerating this seems to get you nowhere.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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