# Naomi Wolf On The Dangers Of Porn Addiction And The 'Kink Spiral'



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Naomi Wolf On The Dangers Of Porn Addiction And The 'Kink Spiral'

She seems to use words like "scientific" and "fact" rather haphazardly and this may subtract from her argument but I MAY have seen or heard of the things she describes. Do you guys agree or disagree?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'd love to contribute,Ntamph,but honestly I can't be bothered to listen to any more women talk about the dangers of porn.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

the little bit I watched only talked about visual porn, I starting to get sick of the double standard of what porn really is.

every definition I found also includes the written word that describes sex as porn!

while I think that visual porn can be abused and cause relationship problems I also think written porn can be abused and cause relationship problems equally.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> the little bit I watched only talked about visual porn, I starting to get sick of the double standard of what porn really is.
> 
> every definition I found also includes the written word that describes sex as porn!
> 
> while I think that visual porn can be abused and cause relationship problems I also think written porn can be abused and cause relationship problems equally.


exactly.In my previous marriage the issues of being with someone who wasn't right for me were made worse by my constant intake of erotic and romance novels and romantic movies.He couldn't measure up ever.

To me,it's less harmful to beat it to some porn every once in a while than it is to overdose yourself on rom-coms,romance books,and sh*tty romantic erotica.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Wolf is a zealot and has no credibility.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Seems like she had some valid points and even though she did not specifically talk about written porn anyone could certainly draw that analogy. (porn is porn) 

I don't know anything about her though, she seems to be a writer and not a sex researcher but maybe she researched the subject a lot. 

Anyway I doubt the porn industry will shut down because of her book or whatever.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Naomi Wolf and the liberal wonders or purdah, chador, niqab and sharia

Behind the veil lives a thriving Muslim sexuality - Opinion - smh.com.au


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> exactly.In my previous marriage the issues of being with someone who wasn't right for me were made worse by my constant intake of erotic and romance novels and romantic movies.He couldn't measure up ever.
> 
> To me,it's less harmful to beat it to some porn every once in a while than it is to overdose yourself on rom-coms,romance books,and sh*tty romantic erotica.


I would like to hire you to be my wife's therapist. Thank you.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Its really no different than a doctor or writer etc, putting info out there about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, eating the wrong kinds of foods etc, the list can go on. Its about getting knowledge on things thats out there in the world that could be harmful and/or dangerous. There are many people who love to drink and take drugs, I should know my ex was a hard core drug addict. It mattered not to her that they could be dangerous, and that it could not only effect her life but those around her that loved her. She loved them so much she wasn't willing to see there was an ugly side, and that was her right, and it cost her, her marriage to me and family. So putting info out there about porn and its possible effects/dangers is really no different, if you feel it doesn't apply to you or your life then you are free to indulge, its your right.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I think denying porn is an issue in today's society is to stick your head in the sand. 

To my mind porn doesn't value sex, sexuality, women or men, however women are overwhelmingly commodified used and abused. 

I'm not comfortable with societies treatment of women. That doesn't mean I don't like sex or am a prude. However to me porn is the worst type of junk , highly addictive and fed to everyone in so many different mediums. It creates unrealistic expectations for most and causes all sorts of issues. 

Porn is a very different world to what it used to be. People can say it's harmless, however I think that most just want to enjoy what they enjoy in life and don't mind who gets harmed as long as they aren't inconvenienced nor expected to give anything up. 

Written porn can also be bad, however there is a lot if evidence to suggest it's not nearly as harmful. But anything that makes your partner uncomfortable and impacts negatively on your relationship should be looked closely and considered carefully. 

Moreover just the sheer number of posts on online forums such as these about porn addictions and issues from both men and women are enough to tell me it's a huge problem. There s so much suffering in relation to pirn. And yes people could choose not to use it, but it's normalised so much that those that do ave an issue are made to feel like if they don't embrace pirn they are freak, or if their part dr uses porn 4 times a day and ignores them they must not be sexy enough. 
I think dismissing the real pain of people is an awful thing to do, just to justify your masturbation material. 

It's almost like unless you agree to almost everything porn wise and sexually speaking no matter how degrading or appalling then you are a prude or some other such thing. Most people have legitimate complaints against porn but ate made to feel like shyte for daring to disagree with a society that treats people and especially women like commodified cum receptacles. 

JMO


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

there is more and more evidence that written porn is just as bad as visual porn.

but as you say if its a problem for either partner then its a problem. sit down and creat some boundries or call it a day and move on.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I haven't come across many people on here saying it's harmless.Mostly what I see is people agreeing it should be used in moderation and only if your partner is comfortable with your usage. 

I don't personally agree with every thing porn wise and sexually speaking.But I think if you're going to tell people they have their heads in the sand you need to look at your own consumption first. Do you have cable tv? If so,cancel it bc your money is generating profits to companies that degrade women and make them into mere sexual objects. Have you ever shopped at a lingerie shop like Victoria's secret? If so,discontinue that bc they are one of the biggest culprits of unrealistic expectations and show half naked models on tv and in their catalogs at least a thousand times over. Like movies? think again.barely any strong female leads and even more objectification. Sue the makers of photoshop while you're at it too.

Every thing needs to be done in moderation,I think that's the most important message here. 

Also, how many women are unhappy in their marriages bc the man isn't sensitive enough? Isn't thoughtful enough? Doesn't give the perfect gift? Doesn't romance her enough. Doesn't call her enough. Doesn't give her an hour of foreplay. Doesn't rub lotion on her and give her a foot massage, doesn't enjoy watching lifetime with her,and whatever other fluffy head in the clouds reasons for being unhappy... Where do you think that sh*t comes from?? All the little rom-coms, romance novels,cosmo,glamour,fake erotica bs,etc. oh and disney movies...damn that cinderella.

So porn makes men have unrealistic expectations of their ladies...well all the media above makes women have unrealistic expectations of their men and relationships in general.

I guess there is more proof of porn being damaging bc most men won't come out and say how bothered they are by the things their wives consume. 

But no one wants to talk about that bc heaven forbid a man should tell a woman she can't continue reading her harlequin romance series with f*cking Fabio on the cover.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

ScarletBegonias said:


> But no one wants to talk about that bc heaven forbid a man should tell a woman she can't continue reading her harlequin romance series with f*cking Fabio on the cover.


So true, I agree. Its the same for porn too, I see a lot of people act like they fall to pieces when someone mentions something about porn possibly having a dangerous/ugly side, and they come to porns defense very quickly. Some people do not want to believe there are other sides to things. 

Some people believe they will die without the romantic fairytales of their romance novels and will wither away if their partner doesn't do whats in those books, just like some act like they will die if they can't have their porn and expect their partner to be like or do whats in those vids/pictures.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

CallaLily said:


> So true, I agree. Its the same for porn too, I see a lot of people act like they fall to pieces when someone mentions something about porn possibly having a dangerous/ugly side. Some people do not want to believe there are other sides to things.
> 
> Some people believe they will die without the romantic fairytales of their romance novels and will wither away if their partner doesn't do whats in those books, just like some act like they will die if they can't have their porn and expect their partner to be like or do whats in those vids/pictures.


That's all I was trying to say you nailed it.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

trey69 said:


> Its really no different than a doctor or writer etc, putting info out there about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, eating the wrong kinds of foods etc, the list can go on. Its about getting knowledge on things thats out there in the world that could be harmful and/or dangerous. There are many people who love to drink and take drugs, I should know my ex was a hard core drug addict. It mattered not to her that they could be dangerous, and that it could not only effect her life but those around her that loved her. She loved them so much she wasn't willing to see there was an ugly side, and that was her right, and it cost her, her marriage to me and family. So putting info out there about porn and its possible effects/dangers is really no different, if you feel it doesn't apply to you or your life then you are free to indulge, its your right.


:iagree:


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I think she was also talking primarily about young people raised with easy access to porn on the web. I did not actually see my first porn movie until I was 21 or so, the effect on me may be very different than someone who starts at age 14.

I do think that some individuals can become addicted to it with negative consequences but the same is true for high calorie food. 

It probably does raise expectations to higher levels but that is the case with almost everything today. I think people today are in general, more self centered.


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