# Just looking for someone who understands



## danztchr (Jun 17, 2015)

I got married for the second time back in April. I have 3 kids from my first marriage 13, 10, and 7. They've known my new husband for 2 years and he moved in with us a year in. Their dad also has a live in girlfriend (2nd one since he left me and those 2 relationships overlapped like the first girlfriend and our marriage. :|) My husband has never been married and has no kids though he's great with mine. It still is tough though, navigating new waters for us all. Main problem is the kids do not respect me nor my husband and fear my ex, don't talk to him. They do feel free to talk to me and my husband, but don't listen to or obey our rules well, kinda blow everything off until we get really angry. I feel like we spend most of our time punishing them while their dad wants to be good, fun times dad and says they're just so good and perfect over there! Frustrating! Anyone go through a similar thing, any advice?


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## MGD (Jun 19, 2015)

For me it is just insanity. He may want to take some momentary advantage.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

This is a common thing. You can't do anything about what happens at fun times dad's house, so don't pick that battle. In your house: when you have teens, it's best that the biological parent be the disciplinarian, but the parent and stepparent need to be united on what the rules and consequences are. And there need to be consequences. If they aren't obeying or listening, it's because there aren't effective and / or timely consequences.


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