# Calling out the Sweet, Innocent Ladies of these Message Boards!



## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

I posted this in the ladies lounge..but I thought maybe I could get some more answers/responses here..so here we go..

Alright, sweet, innocent ladies..are you the type that is always thinking about doing only the safe things? Are you so innocent that anything more than sex in missionary and basic doggy style is too kinky? Does giving Blowjobs feel like the name implies.."a job?" Does Anal sex seem too dirty for you that your unwilling to try it, or have tried it and dont wont to try again because the first few times just felt strange and uncomfortable? Do you not like your husband to go down on you when you dont feel 150 percent clean..even if he tells you that he kinda likes the natural smell down there, and prefers it over the smell/taste of soap? After giving a blowjob do you run to the bathroom quickly to spit out everything in your mouth, wash your mouth with soap..brush your teeth for the next 2 minutes before you can resume love making with your husband? 
I could go on and on and on and on...but perhaps the most important question is..
Do You never ever initiate sex with your spouse..because you feel like it may not be the perfect time to initiate or you just enjoy being taken 500 percent of the time and never ever think even once that maybe every once in a blue moon your husband might enjoy it if you were to take the initiative as well? That he might enjoy it if you were to make love to HIM and not always expect him to do ALL the love making in your marriage? 
Is this you?
Then I need YOUR help!
Because, while I have a very sweet and innocent wife, and she's great..but when it comes to sex, it's become very routine and she's not interested in spicing things up...and while it's not always to these extremes..it's pretty close to how it's in our marriage 95 percent of the time(she does initiate every once in a while).
So...are you SWEET? Are you INNOCENT?
Give me your advice...what is the best thing for a HIGH testosterone Male like me to do? What can I do to make my wife become a little less innocent in the bed? 
I love the sweet..I love the innocent....JUST NOT IN BED! 

Or were you at one time like this? What changed you to be more open to kinkier/crazier sex?

Thanks sweetie pies...


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## elhi13 (Apr 28, 2010)

Wow, I read your post and had to reply. Please understand that this is solely my opinion and what has worked for me. I don't understand why some women have hangups in bed or are prudish. It might be the fact that all of our lives "good girls just don't do that" is what has been told to us...I don't know. What I would sugguest you do is get your wife to relax....be a generous lover and be attentive to her needs. It needs to be about her, get to know what she wants, what she needs, what she is feeling and SECURITY. You got to get her to let go...not to stop the uncontrollable feeling that her body is feeling, take a deep breathe and let it go. Once you have gotten her to release, forget about everything ie. laundry, bills, kids, she will be yours. Then, you will be amazed on her prowlness after that. You need to be more attentive and let her know that everything is ok, let her moan, let her grab, let her do what she needs to do to release her own body. I am laughing now because I truly understand and I have been there until I said "**** it, not suppressing this feeling anymore" and letting go. Hey I have a non-existent sex but when I can get some, its about me also. I hope this helps...ahhh the memories...Good Luck!


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## gerrypony (Apr 14, 2010)

I don't quite fit the bill in terms of attitude, but my experience with my husband is pretty much limited to what you described for a sweet and innocent wife. Basically I'm willing to try anything with my husband, but he's the one not interested. 

Anyway, I got a few ideas. Does she read women's magazines like Redbook, Cosmopolitan, etc? These always have a sex article, telling their nice readers to be bad girls in bed. It's not about applying the tips, but about altering her attitude gradually. Maybe buy her a magazine and tell her you noticed it had an interesting sex article. You could also try books ... ones that have line drawings instead of photos (so she doesn't feel offended or embarrassed). 

Buy her some sexy lingerie ... stuff that she wouldn't normally pick. Go online and order some toys, perhaps tiny "beginner" stuff that you could use on her and yourself. How about a sex board game? May sound silly, but it could get you both doing things out of the ordinary. 

elhi13 is right that women will not relax enough for sex when they are thinking about the 50 other things they haven't done, so helping her with her chores could help you score.


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## MysteriousFelinka (May 1, 2010)

Maybe she thinks that you will not respect you if she does a "dirty" thing with you in bed? You need to explain to her that you will only love her more if she does!


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## pulse (Mar 24, 2010)

I am wondering if as women we would be more receptive, more inclined to want to initiate, fully participate, experiment and be more inventive, even "dirty" in the bedroom if our mates were more supportive of us emotionally. 

Gerrypony makes a good point about helping with chores etc so that your wife is not too physically tired. However on top of that how about honing up on your active listening skils, really talk to her about your innermost feelings thereby ALLOWING her the opportunity to support you emotionally too. 

As much as I think most men would like their woman to initiate sex more often, the woman conversely is longing for her man to initiate communication/talking. If men could do this, I think a couple can become closer/more bonded/more intimate/less inhibited sexually! 

I'm not speaking from experience here as unfortunately my husband is not the type to initiate talking and, much as he doesn't mean to, he too often interrupts me when I am trying to tell him something, finishes my sentences and tells me how to fix things when I just want a listening ear and a bit of understanding. If he were to support me more emotionally I think I would feel more secure and free of resentment which in turn would free me to more inclined "freak out" in the bedroom. 

I think I more or less fall into the category of woman your post is aimed at but, at the same time, I can think of dozens of things I might want to do around sex but am too timid to voice/get into, as I don't feel totally emotionally secure with my husband, if that makes sense. Lastly, I want to assure you it's not tit for tat - just dosen't feel safe for me to completely let go even if I want it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Oh MarriedGuy , I see you are getting a little beat up on here, I am sure you do very well in the communication/listening dept, no lack there I bet. (Love how you expressed what kind of women you seek to answer). I laughed when I read the title of this thread - I see you took my advice, asking ALL the sweet innocent women out there >> I am not one of those but I surely had my "hangups" in the past. 

I still suggest a Sexual board game some day. I love & own this one Amazon.com: Lover's Choice Discover Your Lover Game: Health & Personal Care

When the card instructs you what to do , instead of the Lover, it helps take some of the pressure off -for both in what they want from each other, and hopefully she will discover in the playing some new ideas, erotic/sensual ways of pleasuring you.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Thanks for the responses..keep em coming..
I've bought my wife a few cosmo's and she loves Cosmo, but the problem I think is..when I come home with a Cosmo, she takes it as "read the sex article now...and start freaking with me or else!"
Like she feels offended that I want her to read about sex, she feels then that she's not good enough for me, when all I want is for her to open up a little more sexually.

As far as listening, I think I am a good listener..but I could be better..the posts above made me realize that sometimes I do interrupt her..or I'll try to solve problems instead of just listening and understanding...especially lately because i've been frustrated with our lack of sex..so today I'll make that a goal for this weekend..to listen to her, dont give any advice..and just support her...
As far as house hold chores..I feel like I'm pretty good with that, maybe I'm not doing enough in her mind? I dunno..she's not the type that's gonna let me know with words..


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

thanks SimplyAmorous..I'll check into that game..she's gotta follow the rules of the game right? haha, we'll see.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

What I personally love about this game is the sheer # of cards -it has 6 decks. There is 3 "question/learning" Decks : 
1) Easy 2) Intimate and 3) Difficult quesetions (80 cards in each) - helps with learning about each other, guessing how our partner would answer & learning an awful lot about sex, marraige, history, zillions of things you might never think of. 

And then there is the 3 "Pleasure" Tasks Decks for performing Tasks : 1) Affectionate 2) Intimate and 3) Passionate Tasks - with massaging stops on the board as well. 

We usually do not even use the board (only the 1st handful of times) but just take turns grabbing cards & happily learning/trying new things. 

One thing is for sure, it always ends up in some sweet love making.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Can you give me an example what a few of the cards say/show? I tried ordering but for some reason I cant order it from where I live..maybe I'll try from ebay or something, or just find one in a sex shop somewhere..


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

marriedguy said:


> Can you give me an example what a few of the cards say/show?



Randam examples: 

*Easy Question*: What does Bondage Mean? Answer Bondage is the refined art of tying down your sexual partner to intensify the orgasm. Then it further gives an explanation as well on the same card saying: With bondage you can tie your partner down seriously,making escape impossible , But you can also do it symbolically, allowing the other to wrench loose as well.

*Difficult Question*: What is yohimbine? Answer : Yohimbine is an aphrodisiacthat improves erections. -then gives a paragraph explanation.


***They have these Tasks separated for men/ for women***

*Affectionate Task * Remove the clothing from the upper part of your partner's body & ask him to lie on his belly. Slowly kiss his spine from top to bottom , counting all the vertebrae (7 cervical vert, 12 thoracic vert, & 5 lumbar vertebrae). The Task has been succesfully completed once you have kissed all of the vertebrae.



*Intimate Task* Put some oil on your hands & ask you partner to lie on his stomach (with a bare lower body) . massage the area between his testicles & his anus. You may explore further if you wish.

Take it easy & experience the sensations he experiences . Also ask him where he likes to be touched the most & how you could improve it.

*Passionate Task* Sit on your partner's face with your lower body and use your body to carefully control his breathing by briefly covering his mouth and nose with your vagina. This is called Face-sitting. Ask your partner to lick you straight to heaven. 

Some of the "Passionate Tasks" show a small drawing of a position to get into, each card has a little time frame too. 

Even if you completely forget the game itself , just having these little task cards near the bedside & commiting to following just 1 every single night, could do some "spicing", some experimenting, ensuring some sexual connection ongoing -daily.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

sounds like good times could be had..and I will try this..but I will also try not to be disappointed when my wife shows no interest...
I doubt my wife would ever do that "face sitting" thing..not a chance she would want to do that..
I also dont think she would have enough interest to even try the spine kissing thing..
Hey, it's worth a try.
thanks.


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## VeryShyGirl (Feb 18, 2010)

I used to be like your wife... only missionary style sex, accepted but never gave oral, etc. I was in a relationship like that for many years. I knew my boyfriend wanted more but I couldn't imagine doing anything else. He tried rear entry once and I burst into tears, couldn't help it! We discussed the issue often and he tried to do what he could to bring me out of my shell. Every one of his actions reminded me of how inadequate I was in the sex department, they had the opposite effect than he'd hoped. 

Unfortunately I don't know the magic cure. That 9yr relationship ended and I eventually met my husbannd. Same behavior on my end; but he was too nice and passive to nag me about sex. Five years later I had a striking revelation (which may or may not have been sparked by hormones going crazy after quitting the pill). I was compelled to do some thinking and research... I realized that pleasing my H sexually was crucial for making him feel loved. It was very counterintuitive because the things that make me feel most loved don't have anything to do with sex. Now I have a whole new attitude. I like sex and make it a point to initiate sometimes even when I am not horny. I LIKE giving bjs (after 14 active sexual years where the thought grossed me out). I now am curious about other positions and even bring them up!

Maybe cool it on the suggestions and trying to help and concentrate on being the best husband possible so she will be compelled to show her love for you? Tough situation.

For the record, I am now open to pretty much anything... but I can't see ever being OK with anal sex. 



_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Thanks "VeryShyGirl"
I guess It'll be a while before my wife comes out of the shell..but I dont think it's as much of a shell as the one you had, like she'll go down on me..we've tried anal probably around 10 times..both had a good experience twice..but now that the "Honeymoon stage" in our marriage is over she isn't willing to try that anymore..

I just think that for the first two years of our marriage I was nagging too much for sex, for sex in different positions..and it seems like she feels like she's not enough for me..but I dont nag anymore..I initiate a lot less, but even then she will only rarely initiate...she hasn't in over two years brought up a new idea in our sex life...
When we first married she suggested handcuffs...was very open to do 69...we've only been married 3 years, and all those things are out of the question now.
Not sure what to do at this point..other wise me and my wife have a great marriage...she's like my best friend..although we dont have many similarities we love being together..love each others company..and we joke around all the time...
The only thing that seperates us from being "Just friends" is sex a few times a week(mostly because that's what married couples do) and the fact that we are attracted to each other...
But when it actually comes to intimacy we really dont seem to match..and that sucks bigtime..we haven't matched since we got married, even though she would suggest a few things..the interest for sex still wasn't there the way a normal married couple has when they first get married.


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

Heres a reverse psychology appraoch... in line with VeryShyGirl.... take away sex from your relationship period for like a month or 2... but be a very doting husband... romance her but do not initiate sex, do not ask for it or talk about it. She may ask you at some point why you have sropped it... that is a good thing! Your answer would be to focus on you and what you love (meaning her and what she loves). SInce you are such good friends, you know her pretty well. Do what you know she loves. Give her back massages that stay on the back and neck (no reach arounds). 

I know its counterintuitive, but it may just make her miss it... absence makes the heart grow fonder. As it does sound like she believes she is not enough for you... my husband feels the same way as I want it way more. I stopped and he is now initiating way more (like 2-4 times a week...) but anything is an improvement! Now if I can get him to try the kinky stuff... I will let you know what works... dont think he will be game for a car session or a hotel, or out in a field... he did allow me to ask for a blindfold! My point is, I stopped asking, and surpressed any resentment and it is working.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

God Bless you TOO LATE, It is good to hear what works for some situations. I do think this CAN have an effect on *some* women, if they feel their men have lost interest - I believe this happened to me in a way. ONe day in my 40's it hit me, my husband does not seem "as interested" as he used to be. It lit a fire under me. (but I think hormones were at play also- to be fair) - I can relate to VeryShyGirl.


But God ONLY knows how long this experiment might last -for some! My husband never pushed & I was perfectly content with once a week for 20yrs! MarriedGuy is surely looking for MORE than this. 

During this ever so frustrating waiting time he might choose to put himself through, he might need a punching bag, this forum more than ever before, prayer, then dealing with the rising resentment with each passing night. I think people can only stuff their own longings down for so long -some can do this woefully better than others. 

For the majority of guys out there, they will have to fight really hard to then not get addicted to porn or being sucked in with every beautiful woman who looks their way & shows attention -while waiting ever so patiently for their spouse to wake up & see what they are missing. 

It is worth a try though!!

You might as well exhaust all possibilites in the persuit of awakening her.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

I hope I dont have to do that for 20 years before my wife starts craving it more...
I'm not sure what would happen if I stopped initiating sex or anything sexual for a month...I usually cant wait longer than a week so I just initiate and we get it on...very rarely will she want it to the level where she will take the initiative...although I can tell she enjoys sex a lot more if we haven't done it in a while...but to go a month without it I think she would just get used to being without it, I would go crazy...I actually think I would really resent my wife..just going a week without it makes me resent her more..


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