# What conditions would make you want sex every day



## Chopblock

I've always wondered from seeing and hearing polls like this one: ABC News: POLL: American Sex Survey

There are respondents who say "well ideally, we'd have sex every day".

OK, most men would be FINE with that! They'd JUMP at that! Soooooo..... why aren't you having sex every day then?

I know life gets in the way, and its tough. I know its hard to get in the mood or make time when he hasn't done the dishes he said he'd do, or there are surprise bills that need to be paid.

So ladies -- especially those in a long term relationship or married: What would your life have to be like (what conditions must be met -- what must be done -- CAN it be achieved?) in order for you to have sex every day?


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## justean

well i think what helps me - is having a high sex drive.
i cant remember having a low sex drive, although i admit to times, through personal circumstances i.e H one night stand in april (enough to put you off).
were pretty much having sex everyday. i get more aggressive if i dont get it. 
conditions that help - touch and good feeling (mood) with eachother. H hands wander often and sometimes i see it as a chance to take. so i take it. 
simply taking opportunities and not having the children once a month. we all need time with partners . we sometimes let that go.
trying to maintain balance and equilibrium if when things arent going well. 
it can be achieved. depends on the way your marriage works for you. like im not in love with my H at the moment. but sex is better again for new reasons.


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## MarkTwain

justean said:


> i get more aggressive if i dont get it.


Now that's the kind of aggression that I can live with


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## Jenni

Mmm..interesting topic. Well, a guy should be aggressive enough to make a woman wanted but not so pushy to turn her off. Subtile gestures like being considerate and thoughtful is a good start. Listen to the things she likes about you and enhance them. Plan a weekend away to her favorite romantic spot. Make kinky movies and play them over and over. The more you have, the more you want so be open to all the fun stuff that turn you both on. The most important thing: Leave the stress and complains outside the bedroom. Call your best friend or your mom for that. Constant nagging kills sex.


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## justean

MarkTwain said:


> Now that's the kind of aggression that I can live with


all true, if i dont have sex. i get headaches. i get very stressed.
its very similar to all the symptoms of PMT and you know about them. well thats how i get without sex. 
once i've had sex. im fine - i can take on the world again.
during sex and after an orgasm i feel that i have had a release of all my internal aggression and frustrations and it feels like i can move again.
i suppose not smoking, i dont do drugs, i rarely drink.
well i use sex as my release.
sometimes i have to be a little forceful with my H for sex otherwise i feel i wil explode and yep we have had a couple of arguments over my forcefulness.


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## MarkTwain

justean said:


> sometimes i have to be a little forceful with my H for sex otherwise i feel i wil explode and yep we have had a couple of arguments over my forcefulness.


Jeeeeeez. Some men pay good money for such treatment. If he is over 25 (and I know he is), he would be better off not cuming more than 3 times a week if you want to keep him horny. If you can talk him into having sex and sometimes not cuming, you will turn him into a sex machine. Not all men go for it.

As you know from my previous posts, I have managed to get up to six weeks between ejaculations, while having sex every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. There is simply no way a man of my age (42) could do that without drugs - and I don't use any.

More info on my forum: Semen retention, the early days. - The sexuality support group forum

I must point out that men who cum less than once a week need to do kegels 3 times a week to keep the PC BC muscle groups toned.


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## Jenni

Well, guys...Oprah is having some really good shows about sex and couples lately. Watch them. I got some really good information out of it. Regarding the amount of sex, I think that waiting too long, at least for a woman, makes her lose interest. Oprah says it is something to do with keeping the blood flow moving there. As of having it every day, we have to deal with nuissances such as urinal tract infections, so ladies, if you are able to have that much fun, good for you! With guys, well, you need some time to recover right?


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## Chopblock

---all true, if i dont have sex. i get headaches. i get very stressed---

Wow.... yeah this is a problem that most guys wish their women had. Most men it seems more like the man WANTING sex is what gives the woman headaches and stress.

---I think that waiting too long, at least for a woman, makes her lose interest.---

Yeah its quite a vicious cycle. Whether she loses interest first and THEN has it less, or she just avoids it, which makes her want to go longer without it... either way its horrible. I'm sure having a man who starts to get cranky from deprivation doesn't help.

Thats kind of what I'm getting at here. I really want to understand why it is these women are saying that ideally they would like sex every day, when doing so is ENTIRELY within their power! If she chose to want it every day -- to make time for it, to make it special and important, the man would go for it.

It just seems hypocritical to say that the ideal frequency is daily, but then do absolutely nothing to bring it about.

Even if the reason is "I get home sort of in the mood, but then my husband argues with me about dinner and the dishes, and then he wants to watch football instead of put the kids to bed, I'm just not in the mood anymore" well if she said "you know honey, if you helped more with the dishes and chores, we'd have time for sex every day, do you think he wouldn't change?!?!?! Of COURSE he would!

What I really wish is that I could perform the survey myself, and whenever a respondent said "every day is ideal" i would say "what is preventing you from doing that now".


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## stepmomandwife08

Chopblock said:


> I've always wondered from seeing and hearing polls like this one: ABC News: POLL: American Sex Survey
> 
> There are respondents who say "well ideally, we'd have sex every day".
> 
> OK, most men would be FINE with that! They'd JUMP at that! Soooooo..... why aren't you having sex every day then?
> 
> I know life gets in the way, and its tough. I know its hard to get in the mood or make time when he hasn't done the dishes he said he'd do, or there are surprise bills that need to be paid.
> 
> So ladies -- especially those in a long term relationship or married: What would your life have to be like (what conditions must be met -- what must be done -- CAN it be achieved?) in order for you to have sex every day?


Hell I dont have sex once a day try no less than two times a day im a horny married chick and i love having sex with my husband!! ill be a b**** if i go without sex longer than 3 days.Hell my bday and is monday and im turning 23 and i told my hubby i want sex 23 times! he sure jumped on that invitation! I guess you could say im a nympho! :smthumbup: 

The only time we dont have sex is when we are stressed out, we respect each other if one is horny and the other one isnt we are good about satisfying the other one and then later when we have sex its hot and wild and very loving! :smthumbup:


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## themarriedguy

Well, in my happy marriage once a day is not the ideal amount, we often will shoot for twice or thrice a day!!! Thank god we both match in extremely high libido!!!

Honestly we don't get do it every day 7 days a week 365 days a year, but we probably easily surpass 365 times a year :smthumbup:

So i guess the easier question is when we don't hit the mark of everyday what is the reasons, thus what would need to be fixed to make it so we did?

1. STRESS!!! It's the #1 (sex) killer in America! Although sex is the best stress reliever if you're too worn down to get into the mood then you can't use it to relieve the stress...

2. Extremely tired, a rarity for us but you gotta be able to stay awake through it. 

I suppose our success is because of overall we love each other and we help each other (dishes, cooking, cleaning, money), we are sweet to each other and of course a very high natural libido always helps, and sleeping nude i think also has a lot to do with it, when you go to bed moderately in the mood and you are both naked and snuggling before your eyes close it sure makes it easier to happen


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## Jenni

Hello, Chopblock...In the ideal world, yeah...every day would be nice if you have that kind of sex drive. What prevents it? All the wear and tear of daily BS...work, cleaning, cooking, the kids, the nagging boss, bills, the in laws, traffic, arguments, getting sick, and all the stress that life has to offer! Still, if you are not too pissed off and tired at the end of the day, actually, sex can help release stress.


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## brenda

:iagree:


Jenni said:


> Hello, Chopblock...In the ideal world, yeah...every day would be nice if you have that kind of sex drive. What prevents it? All the wear and tear of daily BS...work, cleaning, cooking, the kids, the nagging boss, bills, the in laws, traffic, arguments, getting sick, and all the stress that life has to offer! Still, if you are not too pissed off and tired at the end of the day, actually, sex can help release stress.


Now the million dollar question ........... how do you get past the every day BS that puts you in a bad mood, and get yourself back in the right state of mind come bedtime?? I would like to mention that I have a 10 month old ..... and a 15 years old, so I'm up at 6:30 with my little one, and up until 10:30 with my oldest :sleeping: I'm tired


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## justean

MarkTwain said:


> Jeeeeeez. Some men pay good money for such treatment. If he is over 25 (and I know he is), he would be better off not cuming more than 3 times a week if you want to keep him horny. If you can talk him into having sex and sometimes not cuming, you will turn him into a sex machine. Not all men go for it.


well mark H is 40 in feb. he is already a sex machine. we dont need retention. it doesnt make n e difference in that department.
i only had probs after H started taking the depression medication and it made him impotent for a short while. 
personally for me, i felt very sad and frustrated at the time.
but with care and support we got over that. 

however and this is the truth also. if i dont make my H ejaculate. i dont feel like ive satisfied my man. when i dont have an orgasm, i feel the same. ok as a couple were prob lucky, because maybe 95% we do have an orgasm and he ejaculates. 

prob is my drive for sex got higher than his, but at the moment he seems to have the same drive as me


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## Chopblock

OK, seems everyone here is just really lucky -- you have partners that make sex a priority.

You know I think from now on, whenever I don't feel like doing something, I am just going to outright say "its not a priority to me". Might as well be honest.


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## justean

Chopblock said:


> OK, seems everyone here is just really lucky -- you have partners that make sex a priority.
> 
> You know I think from now on, whenever I don't feel like doing something, I am just going to outright say "its not a priority to me". Might as well be honest.


its ok thats its not your priority. you have other priorities in life that may be more important.

as for me sex isnt a priority , i feel its a need, like a physical counsellor to help me cope with issues and make life better.

my children are my priority .


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## okeydokie

very interesting topic. from what i can tell, the ladies who have replied, for the most part, like sex and seek it out from their husbands. most married men i discuss this topic with are not this fortunate, including me. it's the ages old debate between man and woman. not too many have ever solved it.


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## snix11

And then there are the women that want sex more than the men! My husband is quite satisfied with having sex less than three times a year. I'm a once a day plus kind of person. LOTS of fights over that one.

And he's only 41. As far as I'm concerned, life without a healthy active sex life is a waste of time.


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## MsLady

The thing that would make me want to have sex everyday is .... good sex. That simple.

In fact, I DO want to have sex everyday - but I don't have it, because I know my husband can't satisfy me and I just end up frustrated. I had enough of that. So now I take care of myself everyday and say "no thanks" when he offers.

My husband wouldn't mind having sex everyday, but what he wants is to get himself off. He would like for me to achieve climax, but only as long as it doesn't mean any effort on his part. He's wonderful in many, many ways ... but in the bedroom, he's LAZY! (so that now translates to no sex for either of us)


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## Chopblock

Justean, it IS important and a priority for me.

What I'm merely trying to get at here is WHY people who say they want it every day aren't HAVING it every day.

It seems the main reason for males and females is; "my partner doesn't want it every day". OK fine, that is an age old problem.

What I'm genuinely curious about are situations where the person who is saying "I want it every day" IS ALSO the one with the POWER to MAKE it happen every day. Example: I would want it every day. If my gf was constantly turning me down, but then said in a poll "ideally, we'd have sex every day", I'd be VERY confused!

If it is within her power to have it every day, and I am not preventing that, then what is?!??! Is it too many chores? Too tired, not enough time, frustrations preventing her from relaxing?

Or is it just not a priority enough to MAKE it happen?

I was just curious, thats all.


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## MarkTwain

MsLady, 

Your post makes me very sad. You are doing exactly what women on this forum accuse men of doing - whacking off to porn and not having sex with them. OK, you might not be using porn... But you are satisfying yourself so that you have no need of him.

Why don't you tell him this: I would have more sex with you if you took the trouble to touch me how I like to be touched, then show him. Be forceful, and get what you need. You are making a misery of your marriage when you could be having fun.



MsLady said:


> The thing that would make me want to have sex everyday is .... good sex. That simple.
> 
> In fact, I DO want to have sex everyday - but I don't have it, because I know my husband can't satisfy me and I just end up frustrated. I had enough of that. So now I take care of myself everyday and say "no thanks" when he offers.
> 
> My husband wouldn't mind having sex everyday, but what he wants is to get himself off. He would like for me to achieve climax, but only as long as it doesn't mean any effort on his part. He's wonderful in many, many ways ... but in the bedroom, he's LAZY! (so that now translates to no sex for either of us)


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## MsLady

MarkTwain, you are correct that I am, in that way, more like the guys than the gals around here (yep, even do use a little bit of soft porn and toys at times).

But ....



> Why don't you tell him this: I would have more sex with you if you took the trouble to touch me how I like to be touched, then show him. Be forceful, and get what you need. You are making a misery of your marriage when you could be having fun.


Been there. Done that. A thousand times. I put in many, many years of alternating between being forceful about what I need, teaching him gently and lovingly, having us both read books together about sex and positions and all the psychological stuff, or just laying there and faking it so his feelings wouldn't be hurt. Nothing.

I could go on and on with examples of all the effort I've put in to get a sex life that is satisfying to us both. But each and every sexual encounter ends with a man who either shrivels away or goes for his own pleasure fast in fear that he'll shrivel away (and then says, "sorry, hon. I'll get you next time" ). I have a lot of empathy for psychological impotence problems (though he's also lazy, IMO, b/c there's a lot more he could be trying to do), but I am DONE being the person left frustrated and feeling used at the end of each sexual encounter ... or the one scraping his ego off the floor when he can't keep it up. It gets old as hell.


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## gjbajaj

In my opinion Love and Sex are interrelated to each other. Create that feeling of love in the mind of your partner. To be very honest first love yourself right. Ultimately you have to take consistent efforts to maintain that romantic atmosphere in your surrounding. You would definitely need to grow your romance in your relationship. Eventually it is all the matter of emotions and sentiments that has to grow within the specified period of time.


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## Farfignewton

justean said:


> all true, if i dont have sex. i get headaches. i get very stressed.
> its very similar to all the symptoms of PMT and you know about them. well thats how i get without sex.


I am the same way and have been called a nympho by both of my husbands and they have both downed me for my high sex drive. I just wish that I could find a man who could keep up with me. My current did in the beginning and then he chose porn over me. I'm like, "what the hell? I'm the one that should be using the porn!", but I considered it cheating so when he didn't give me sex I wouldn't even masturbate. 

Now, I moved out and I can please myself whenever the mood strikes. It's sad when you're more sexually satisfied by yourself than you are when you live with the one you love.


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## Blanca

MsLady said:


> In fact, I DO want to have sex everyday - but I don't have it, because I know my husband can't satisfy me and I just end up frustrated.


Totally understand you. And trying to coach them and tell them how to have good sex all the time really kills the libido. It makes it more like a chore. I used to talk about it all the time. And i was frustrated, impatient, angry. but then i realized i was creating more hurdles. so I've completely backed off. I stand by what I feel (i.e i wont have boring, uninteresting, unfulfiling sex anymore), but dont push him to change. If my H wants it, he has the resources to find out how to have good sex. He's looked into it a little, which is good. So I have some optimism for the future. I actually shared with him MT's kegel exercises for semen retention .


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## MarkTwain

ljtseng said:


> I actually shared with him MT's kegel exercises for semen retention .


OMG!

I just hope you repeated everything accurately, otherwise God knows what you're done to him 

If you want more info, you know where I am...

But yes, with my techniques - which are probably 6000 years old - you can turn any willing man into a 24/7/365 sex slave. It is also especially good at curing impotence. Jeeeez I must get off this computer, it's getting hot in here.


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## MarkTwain

Farfignewton said:


> Now, I moved out and I can please myself whenever the mood strikes.


Good for you, I hope you meet someone caring.


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## Sprite

MsLady, I am right there with you. All I want is good sex....I don't care if it is every day or once a week, but good sex is a key issue. My H has failed at providing that and I have gotten to the point where I simply don't really want to have sex with him because like you, I am tired of being frustrated afterwards.

For me, it was not that even good in the beginning of our relationship, but I talked myself into believing it would get better over the years. How do you tell him he doesn't do it for you without hurting his feelings or ego?? You cant!

I bought books(Kama Sutra is my favorite) that he never looked at and I would buy magazines that had articles I thought he would benefit from reading, and would leave them on the table or on his pillow at night...but still...no effort on his part. He too is lazy and has gained a lot of weight(which contributes to the size and functionality of his unit), but seems to think it is all my problem because I can't relax enough to orgasm. He doesn't understand that orgasm, although we would like to believe it has to do with emotional needs being met as well as physical, is a natural bodily function and should not be so hard to attain.

He tried using a little blue pill..but he has high blood pressure and said they made him "feel funny" when he took them, so he stopped. Part of his issue not being able to last long enough to satisfy me was he was stressed out. Stressed about work, his racing, and our relationship. He eventually went to see a specialist about it and the doctor told him he has to "exsersize" it every day. It's like any other muscle...if it doesnt get used enough it gets weak. I had no idea stress could play that big a part in a mans life...that was the biggest contributing factor to bad sex life. He eventually went to see a specialist about it and they sold him this medication that cost like $800 for a 3 month supply....THAT didnt even work!!!

Anyways, he does much better now, and after sex one night(it was very good for a change) I asked him if he had been reading books or something...and he asked why? So I simply asked him...where has that action been hiding? He laughed and said that he can finally "read" me...he admitted that he never really paid attention to ME before cuz he didn't have time to. But now...all he wants to do is please me and he makes sure I get mine before he gets his...just in case he cant last. It's good now, but not great....yet! I am still waiting for that!

What really does it for me is when he spends time with me and doesn't expect anything in the end. Quality time spent with a little flirting and a few compliments go a long way.


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## snix11

Quality time spent with a little flirting and a few compliments go a long way.

Men of the world, take heed. Thems is some powerful talkin


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## 2gether4ever

Well in answer to the question, we have been having sex every day for 3 weeks now. I would say having non sexual physical contact (eg. hugs) and a high sex drive helps and trying different things. Also for me, my husband speaking to me and the kids in a pleasant tone of voice. My husband is 42 and he has had no trouble in coming every day, so I don't know what Mark Twain is talking about - sorry!


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## 63Vino

What conditions would make you want sex every day ?

1. Air.
2. Lungs moving in and out.


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## 63Vino

Star said:


> Erm for me just waking up does it.


HOT hahahah


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## 63Vino

Star said:


> Sometimes sleeping too


Interesting.. thats more of a man thing i thought.. I mean we are well known for waking "up" ready to go , so to speak!!

like i said then... air and functioning body


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## cherrypie18

i don't need special conditions lol i wanted sex every day but my husband didn't really. i would initiate it most of the time. he turned me down so many times accusing me of being addicted to sex or that sex is to important to me that i stopped trying eventually. i didn't know men could say no to sex until i got married.


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## Affaircare

I notice that a lot of the women who answered this post are women who are into sex. Whilst I think, "YAY good for you!" and suspect this may make your partners pretty happy, I think the OP is wondering about women who *DON'T* want it every day or maybe women who aren't in the mood as often. 

In our marriage we are a little older (but not dead ) and we don't have sex everyday. I think of the two of us I may have a little higher sex drive but it's pretty darn mutual. The things that prevent me from being "in the mood" are things like working all day at an 8-hour job, then chores at home, then work like balancing the checkbook... Our kids are teens and by the time dinner, dishes, chores and homework are done, and then the little household duties, I usually just want to sit, have some fun, read, or have a cup of tea! 

However, to PUT me in the mood when I'm not in the mood isn't too hard. First, it's not so much that I'm "not in the mood" as it hasn't crossed my mind much yet. Thus, I'm not opposed to sex--just not "there" yet  Things that help me to get there would be: 1) let me take a hot bath, 2) a little massage with some kisses, or 3) my Dear Hubby will read a book to me while I sit right by him and then we talk about the story for a minute. Yeah I know, not particularly sexy but it's like adult transition time..from "work mode" to "connecting mode" and that connecting mode is very important. Once I'm connected with him I'm up for anything his little heart desires.


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## SimplyAmorous

MarkTwain said:


> If he is over 25 (and I know he is), he would be better off not cuming more than 3 times a week if you want to keep him horny. If you can talk him into having sex and sometimes not cuming, you will turn him into a sex machine. Not all men go for it.


 My hubby is in mid 40's and I agree with this statement, he is MORE horny if a day or 2 passes before the next time. But I am not crazy about waiting days, so we do it anyway & his attitude is "as long as he can RISE to the occasion - let's make love"! Their have been times where I got mine before him and he was perfectly OK waiting till the next day. 

Having a naturally high sex drive almost assures wanting it every day, or having a seductive spouse who knows how to Arouse you -to get you there also. A willingness to tease & please & be seduced by your Lover = Alot of sex.


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## RunnerGirl

Conditions to make me want to have sex every day:

An hour each day where I know we won't be disturbed by children

That is IT. I love sex. Damn, it would be awesome to have sex every day.


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## DameEdna

*For me to want sex every day, I would have to have a closer connection with my husband, we would need to tell each other all our secrets and desires. We would need to be more tactile and loving with each other generally. It wouldnt just go from nothing to sex.... there would be a seductive build up to it.... Cuddling up on the sofa watching TV in an evening, being romantic every day. And being so totally in love with each other that nothing else mattered....*


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## MEM2020

I truly think this is absolutely the key. A mindset of openness. Wife and I are both open to allowing the other to get us all revved up. If she is tense and wants time by herself first, or if she wants to lie on the bed and have a nice long full body massage - whatever she wants to do so she can gradually transition into a sexual mode if fine with me. 

And if she is just truly dead tired - no sweat - I just tell her to get a good nights sleep so we can connect tomorrow. But in 20 years of marriage she has never asked me to wait more than a day other than when she was sick. And vice versa. 

I do think the idea of "I won't have sex unless I START OUT in the mood" harms/ends a lot of marriages. 




Affaircare said:


> I notice that a lot of the women who answered this post are women who are into sex. Whilst I think, "YAY good for you!" and suspect this may make your partners pretty happy, I think the OP is wondering about women who *DON'T* want it every day or maybe women who aren't in the mood as often.
> 
> In our marriage we are a little older (but not dead ) and we don't have sex everyday. I think of the two of us I may have a little higher sex drive but it's pretty darn mutual. The things that prevent me from being "in the mood" are things like working all day at an 8-hour job, then chores at home, then work like balancing the checkbook... Our kids are teens and by the time dinner, dishes, chores and homework are done, and then the little household duties, I usually just want to sit, have some fun, read, or have a cup of tea!
> 
> However, to PUT me in the mood when I'm not in the mood isn't too hard. First, it's not so much that I'm "not in the mood" as it hasn't crossed my mind much yet. Thus, I'm not opposed to sex--just not "there" yet  Things that help me to get there would be: 1) let me take a hot bath, 2) a little massage with some kisses, or 3) my Dear Hubby will read a book to me while I sit right by him and then we talk about the story for a minute. Yeah I know, not particularly sexy but it's like adult transition time..from "work mode" to "connecting mode" and that connecting mode is very important. Once I'm connected with him I'm up for anything his little heart desires.


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