# Unfair Treatment



## responsibledad (Dec 14, 2012)

My wife and I are recently married just a little over 6 months and I am starting to feel like these issues are really not me. I could be in denial and if understood that that is the issue, I will feel free to admit it. The issues have a lot to with the responsibility of the house as it relates to the different roles that the husband/wife play. Before we got married, we were living together. During that period, I was unemployed and would assist on the rent. My wife got sick just in a month of this period so it worked out that I finally was able to find a job. Three months go by, we decide to move to the adjacent city to closer to family. The worst decision ever. Nothing get done at all these days. Not to mention, now that we are married the respect that I thought would come with the territory is absolutely absent. I work. She stays home with our month old child. We have a four year from her previous relationship. Now to bullets:
-I work 40+ hrs/wk
-I also work 30 miles from home
-we share one car 
-I often take city transportation
-her father is always clocking my wallet
-while her daughter seats at home and does nothing.

Im tied of having to give my all in this and when I return home from a long day, dishes are pilled up, the same week old clothes are not washed nor folded. But because he thinks he runs something because he had to help us out on a bill twice now, he wants to claim territory and not show any respect. To give detail for detail is harder than I thought, but I know someone out there can read between the line to recognize what is happening. She stated she is unhappy but I have not gotten a warm and ready meal in months. She even complained last evening of the things she got to do now that she regrets she had to change. It took her so long to get a routine with just her and her son but now "I have to do what You want me to do on your time, take you to work and get you there on your time, fold clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer. People when I say she hs no sense of idea as to what responsibility is because DADDY has given her no room to grow mature nor be an adult. "you tell me jokingly and your might be serious you act like a child." And I have told her previously I will not hold in anything. Im real. "Your not gentle with you words." Your also an adult and what would hurt a child should not phase and adult. 
I do know how to stop this because it builds up and makes me frustated because I work hard and simpliest things that I asked for above, it usually take place weeks after. 
Last comment, This summer I got a job with the airlines and things went well. I was making money and sending it home. Not to my knowledge that she is doing nothing but eating with it and not paying the bills. I come home twice while still in training to become a flight attendant. When my training was complete, I CAME HOME. Once again, I CAME HOME. I did not go to my boys home, nor moms, nor gmas, but I came home to "What are you doing here?" Did not get a hug, kiss nor how was your training?" All the while Im looking at a nasty house and she still has not found work to do. This is before the baby arrived and she was still able to work and help. 
I want relief. I've fasted, prayed and read the scriptures. Even read those related to marriage out loud. WHAT THE HECK IS NEXT?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm confused, does her father live with you?

It sounds to me like she has checked out of the marriage.

You said that she has a 1 month old baby. She probably needs some TLC for a few months to recover from the birth.

HOw many hours a week do the two of you spend doing date-like things, just the two of you.. like going out to dinner, going for a walk, taking & cuddling?

Take a look at the links in my signature block for building a passionate marriage. The two of you can read them and then do the work. You can movitvate her to do this by informing her how unhappy you are and that things have to change or this marriage will not last much longer.


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## responsibledad (Dec 14, 2012)

In law does not live with us. I work just as hard to make sure that no one has to complain about anything. So when I arrive home, no I dont ask for a huge fanfare but I would prefer to welcomed back into the home. I enjoy coming home but when I get there I like to know Im not the only happy that the family is together again. Granted the four year hugs and says hello but nothing absolutely nothing from my WIFE. 
Taking her out and date night should not be the solution to a women performing her wifely duties. I have no problem doing it, but after thats done...


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