# Boyfriend filed for divorce,wife moves in



## Honestwoman (Jan 29, 2012)

Hello. I am writing this for some much needed advice. I started dating this very sweet man. He travels for his job and comes home on the weekends. He filed for divorce, but something is terribly wrong. 

We have only been dating a month, and he just aggreed to have his wife move in for about a month, only it will be during the week when he is not around. At which point, she will be gone during the weekends. He said she had been couch surfing because she has the dog, which he said they shared joint custody. I thought it was a little wierd, and he said he was doing it because the judge told him to do everything he can to make her happy. (She took him to court for alimony.) I think it's a bad idea. Then I went down to his basement and found that his ex wife had certificates in her name in the office, alone with a picture of the two of them still on the desk. He said he never goes down there. I have not met her. Of course, I am there only weekends.

This begs the question. Is he honest? A push-over? Getting set-up? A cheater? 

How do I approach him? What do I say? I feel like I am in a complicated situation, but I don't want to forfet out too early if there is a chance he is the right person for me.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes he’s a cheater. He’s still married and sleeping with you. That’s the definition of a cheater.

Judges do not tell people to keep their spouses happy during a divorce. Judges could careless. His keeping her happy will not lessen the amount of support he has to pay her. The laws and the judge determine that. How long has he been married to her?

Also, how does one couch surf with a dog? It’s hard enough to find people who will let a person couch serf when they are by themselves. But with a dog? Not many people want someone ‘s dog in their house. 

Are you and his wife in the house at the same time (or will you be?) with her down stairs and you upstairs? Or do you vacation the house when he’s not there?

Have you actually seen the legal papers for this divorce? Are you sure he’s getting a divorce?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Get out now. he's still married!! Geez.

His wife is staying there? She lives there! Are you sure he filed divorce? 

But that doesn't really matter. He's still married. Don't get involved.


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

You're dating a married man and don't see anything wrong and expect his wife (who is still married to him) to vanish somehow?!


----------



## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

Troll.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

> He filed for divorce, but something is terribly wrong.
> 
> he just aggreed to have his wife move in for about a month, only it will be during the week when he is not around. At which point, she will be gone during the weekends. He said she had been couch surfing because she has the dog, which he said they shared joint custody.
> 
> This begs the question. Is he honest? A push-over? Getting set-up? A cheater?


Your the OW, you know this yet your asking the question. 

As he is married , your having an affair.

If he has sex with his wife how will you feel then, or if you choose to be with him and he starts dating someone else where will you be. 



> How do I approach him? What do I say? I feel like I am in a complicated situation, but I don't want to forfet out too early if there is a chance he is the right person for me.


You dump him and after he has been divorced for a year or so he can contact you to see if you have any interest. 

Forming a relationship with a person who is divorcing implies you will be supporting him through his emotional baggage and taking care of him. When he recovers he will move on leaving you battered and scarred. 

Step away from him and let him sort his own cr*p out without any input from you.


----------



## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

> Troll.


 or an OW


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Troll/OW... there's a difference? :scratchhead:


----------



## Honestwoman (Jan 29, 2012)

I looked up the county records and found out he filed the day before we hooked up. I talked to him and told him I needed to back off until things are finalized between them, and now he is asking if he could wire me money for the emergency pill. :scratchhead:
I know. I'm an adult. I make my choices. What a mess.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Honestwoman said:


> I looked up the county records and found out he filed the day before we hooked up. I talked to him and told him I needed to back off until things are finalized between them, and now he is asking if he could wire me money for the emergency pill. :scratchhead:
> I know. I'm an adult. I make my choices. What a mess.


how long ago did you think he had filed for divorce? Do you know that a lot of people file for divorce but get back together before the divorce is final and call it off? It sounds to me like they might be thinking of getting back together.

The whole couch surfing, dog thing, makes no sense at all. Sounds like a lie to me. Do you now think you are pregnant?


That's what affairs are... a big mess.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

spudster said:


> Troll.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Na, just a pretty common OW story.


----------



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

wat emergency pill? are you pregnant?


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Honestwoman said:


> I looked up the county records and found out he filed the day before we hooked up. I talked to him and told him I needed to back off until things are finalized between them, *and now he is asking if he could wire me money for the emergency pill.* :scratchhead:
> I know. I'm an adult. I make my choices. What a mess.


Definitely a troll. Or an idiot.


----------



## Honestwoman (Jan 29, 2012)

When I met him, he said he filed for divorce in October. I looked up the records and it said he filed the day before we got together. The dog story is confusing. Some days he has the dog there, but where does the dog go? Why would he let the person he filed against move in, just to be nice? Is he really moving on? How do I find out for sure? I really like this guy, but I don't want an affair. I guess I'm just really hoping he's just telling me the truth.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

If he filed for divorce his intentions are known and he`s not cheating.

However he`s full of **** in many other ways, his story makes no sense and having the woman you just filed on move into your home is ..well pretty messed up.

Stay away from him.


----------



## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

Honestwoman said:


> Hello. I am writing this for some much needed advice. I started dating this very sweet man. He travels for his job and comes home on the weekends. He filed for divorce, but something is terribly wrong.
> 
> We have only been dating a month, and he just aggreed to have his wife move in for about a month, only it will be during the week when he is not around. At which point, she will be gone during the weekends. He said she had been couch surfing because she has the dog, which he said they shared joint custody. I thought it was a little wierd, and he said he was doing it because the judge told him to do everything he can to make her happy. (She took him to court for alimony.) I think it's a bad idea. Then I went down to his basement and found that his ex wife had certificates in her name in the office, alone with a picture of the two of them still on the desk. He said he never goes down there. I have not met her. Of course, I am there only weekends.
> 
> ...


 
OMG, what the h - - -........................ If that man is still married and doing that kind of BOLD lying and BOLDLY having you in their home while his wife is gone............. Girl you betta hope he ain't killed her got her in the freezer and collecting her alimony check or some other check......... I wouldn't confront nothing. After you saw that pic, you should have tip toed yourself right on to your car never to talk to or answer his calls again .


----------



## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

Honestwoman said:


> I looked up the county records and found out he filed the day before we hooked up. I talked to him and told him I needed to back off until things are finalized between them, and now he is asking if he could wire me money for the emergency pill. :scratchhead:
> I know. I'm an adult. I make my choices. What a mess.


 

OK, wait a minute :banhim:Ya'll do we need to throw up the BS FLAG on this one????????????????????????????????????


----------

