# What do you think?



## ausgirl (May 4, 2012)

Hi all, first time poster, so a little nervous. I would like to get something off my chest that has been bothering me. I am married 12 years, together 10 before hand. A few bumps in the relationship, most recently in the last 5, where my husband was retrenched and we relocated interstate. He is now employed. 

Anyway, recently I have had bowel surgery for bowel cancer. On the day of my initial scope, I discover while I'm in hospital, my husband is at home watching porn. I don't usually have a problem with this and realise it is stress relief etc. I needed a second scope a month later to see how far the cancer had spread. Again, while I'm in hospital he's at home watching porn. A few weeks later, when I'm having surgery, he goes home and you guessed it, watching porn again. I must say he does love me and is usually very caring and he has been worried about me. But a I can't help feeling he has been really insensitive and his timing incredibly in poor taste. Just wondering if I am over reacting?

As a side note, he gets cranky when I tell him to clear the history. Our 2 children (8 and 7 years old) share the computer and I do not want them clicking on these sites. He gets cranky when I mention this and I get the silent treatment. 

Thanks for reading and sorry about the long post.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

ausgirl said:


> Hi all, first time poster, so a little nervous. I would like to get something off my chest that has been bothering me. I am married 12 years, together 10 before hand. A few bumps in the relationship, most recently in the last 5, where my husband was retrenched and we relocated interstate. He is now employed.
> 
> Anyway, recently I have had bowel surgery for bowel cancer. On the day of my initial scope, I discover while I'm in hospital, my husband is at home watching porn. I don't usually have a problem with this and realise it is stress relief etc. I needed a second scope a month later to see how far the cancer had spread. Again, while I'm in hospital he's at home watching porn. A few weeks later, when I'm having surgery, he goes home and you guessed it, watching porn again. I must say he does love me and is usually very caring and he has been worried about me. But a I can't help feeling he has been really insensitive and his timing incredibly in poor taste. Just wondering if I am over reacting?
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Ausgirl,

First i hope your doing better these days.

And yes, what your husband has done in these two cases seems totally insensitive unless he needed to stay home and watch the kids (you couldn't find some one else to care for them?)

To be honest, I think that the two of you should explore counseling ASAP. If he'd rather watch porn than to be there with his wife, I'd also be concerned that he might have a porn addiction.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Have you talked to him about this pattern?

On one hand it does seem insensitive.

On the other hand he may be just doing it to release stress, because he's really worried about you and he loves you so much. Now not saying this is the best way to express that, but for him this isn't about expressing love, it's just him dealing with fear of something bad happening to you. Does he have a fear of hospitals in general?

That's just a theory though, talk to him.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Is watching porn a normal thing for him? I'm guessing he doesn't only do it when you are having surgery...right?

Regardless - HE HAS TO CLEAR THE BROWSER HISTORY!!!


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