# Need your opinion



## Jim3USMC (Mar 17, 2012)

Here it goes. My wife and I have been married for almost 12 years. I'm an active duty Marine and she has worked different jobs over the years. We've had our ups and downs like any marriage. Most notably infadelity once by each of us. After the last incedent. We had a heart to heart and decided that we loved each other and wanted to stay together. The job that I currently have is very stressful and I've always had a problem with bring my work home. When I had a bad day my attitude would be horrible at home. I would yell at the kids for no real reason and just wasn't a plesant person to be around. To be honest, my whole attitude sucked. I didn't do much around the house because up until the end of January she wasn't working but taking online classes. I didn't feel that I should have to clean house after working 14 hours!!! So needless to say I was pretty detached. My wife and I have never really argued or fought, maybe 4 big ones ever. We also haven't communicated very well through our whole marriage. I'm the touchy feely one and she is more reserved. Well for the last couple of weeks she seemed more distant than normal and I chalked it up to just being tired from work and school plus our 2 kids. Well Last monday morning I asked her if we were going to be alright and she said that she didn't know. Well, needless to say I was caught off guard. I've always know that we haven't had the perfect marriage but didn't thing it would come to this. I was content with the way things were and didn't realize that something needed to change. That and she never came out and said that she was thinking of leaving. After our brief conversation on Monday, I took off work and decided to look at our cell bill on a hunch. Sure enough there was A number on there that shouldn't of been at all kinds of weird hours. I called it and a guy answered. So I texted her and she called back and I asked who he was. Turns out he is a co-worker. Not to draw it out but she initiated the original contact and has not stopped talking to him since this all came to light. That monday, I tried to talk to her and she said that she doesn't love me anymore and wants out. She said the only reason she has stayed this long is due to the kids. Monday turned into a fight and Tuesday as well. I kept telling her that I can change the way I act but she says it's too late. We haven't talked about anything since Wendsday. I asked her about counseling and she said no. I'm trying to take the steps I need to fix myself through our pastor. She keeps saying that she doesn't know what she wants right now and that she needs room to breathe figure things out. But she's still talking to this guy 20+ times a day. She is still living here in the spare room and we haven't really spoke since Wendsday. I guess my question would be; Is our marriage over or do I continue to be patient and see how things play out. I love my wife more than anything and don't want to split up.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I think you need to let her go for now, as hard as it is. My H was doing the same thing-carrying on an on-line fling for months that finally came to me seeing the messages on his phone and confronting him about it. He became enraged and said he wanted a divorce. Months before this came to a head he had been acting distant and I knew something was up. When I asked him where I stood with him he said he didn't know. As hard as it is to let them go, we have to. We have to hope that they'll come back, but if they don't, let them go. As bad as I want my H to come back, I certainly don't want him here if he doesn't want to be here. If that makes sense.


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