# My daughter



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

My daughter is 10.
She's really quiet when her dad isn't here. She's so close to him. I just gave her a hug and she burst into tears. It just breaks my heart.
Should I tell WH or try and deal with this myself?
He said he wants to know if she's upset but I don't want him thinking I'm telling him to be manipulative or anything.
I suppose it's about picking the right moment I suppose and not txting him now saying his daughter is missing him while he's with the OW!!!
This is so difficult for her, she's always been daddy's girl!
I reasure her that daddy lives her. What more can I do!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Just to say, she does see her dad. He has her mon, tues and thurs evening and sleeps in my place those nights when I'm at work.
We are just sorting out weekends and it's more on a casual basis at the moment.
He's the 'fun' parent though and they have always been very close. It's difficult bring the fun parent when your heart is breaking though isn't it!
I'm trying though!
X
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

daisygirl 41 said:


> My daughter is 10.
> She's really quiet when her dad isn't here. She's so close to him. I just gave her a hug and she burst into tears. It just breaks my heart.
> Should I tell WH or try and deal with this myself?
> He said he wants to know if she's upset but I don't want him thinking I'm telling him to be manipulative or anything.
> ...


I share your dilemma, problem is you are damned if you do & damned if you dont... When my daughter is upset, I just comfort her I give her the chance to talk about how she feels. 
I can only reassure her that both Mummy & Daddy love her more than ever. 

For the moment, my daughter is lucky, my husband hasnt left yet but I am dreading it. She is already upset at the thought of what is coming because I am trying to be as honest with her as possible without messing her up. 

You are doing the right thing, give her an extra big cuddle from me xxx :awink:


----------



## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

I would suggest that your daughter call him everyday when she comes from school.. My daughter is 14 and she does it & I stay out there relationship. When she don't he reaches out to her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

My twelve year old son is also very close to his father and wants to be with him as much as I'll let him. With Dad it's all fun and rough-housing and eating out. With me he is quiet mostly b/c he knows I'm sad and he is unsure how to be. I've spent too much time in my room and not enough time engaging him.I'm trying to get out of my funk and be a little more fun mom but unfortunatly I'm the "mom" not the friend and I have to keep up the house and work and laundry and cooking and make him pickup behind himself and do his homework. I will nerver be able to compete with fun dad. I guess I'm lucky my stbxwh wants to spend lots of time with son. I've seen so many posts about deadbeat parents. I have to admit I get jealous that son wants to go to his dads so much.


----------



## ontheup (Mar 4, 2012)

It is really hard as each child is so different.i have 2 kids 13 and 15 and they cope so differently, both were devastated at the beginning, but have been apart now nearly two years, but my daughter (15) is now just beginning to lose the plot, her dad just told her he is engaged to the woman he left us for and i think this has triggered her off, school are concerned, i am on the phone daily with them to give them updates about how she is and vice versa. it is a total nightmare at the moment but i feel so bad for my son as i feel he is being pushed to one side due to all the attention my daughter is getting from everyone. As a parent left trying to hold all the peices together i sometimes feel like i have failed her as i do not know how to help her, she is shutting everyone out and shutting down, even her dad who she was very close too. She is in such a negative spiral at the moment that nothing is working, her dad has now said he is worried as she not speaking to him when he calls and he is concerned she is going down his road of depression etc. All i can do is to be here for her to try help her the best i can and i just let her know that i love her unconditionally and NOTHING she does will ever stop that, she knows all that, shcool are reinforcing that but not getting anywhere at moment. I am also trying to spend more time with son to make sure this does not affect him too much but it is hard. Like you say too busy to be the fun parent as too many peices to hold together. Just let her know you are there for her is all i can suggest.


----------

