# So just a question in case of what could be...



## Drayvius (Nov 30, 2010)

Ok, so I posted on here and got a lot of advice about how to get me wife to open up. We have since talked and she has told me that she would be more comfortable doing things if she was more comfortable with herself. So we are going to both work harder on weight loss. As a couple for more reasons then just sex. However I findmyself wondering....what if even after that she dosnt want to do anything like adventerous. Is there any advice on how to deal with the desire to do things that you wont get to do?? Just preparing myself for what could happen...and for helping myself until the day comes where it happens or not. Thanks


Dray


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Why bother worrying when you don't even know?

It will be a process for her to become comfortable with her self image. Lose the weight first, encourage her, tell her each and every time you notice an improvement. Don't sit there in a bubble of self absorption and forget to recognize steps taken toward the goal you want.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Drayvius said:


> Ok, so I posted on here and got a lot of advice about how to get me wife to open up. We have since talked and she has told me that she would be more comfortable doing things if she was more comfortable with herself. So we are going to both work harder on weight loss. As a couple for more reasons then just sex. However I findmyself wondering....what if even after that she dosnt want to do anything like adventerous. Is there any advice on how to deal with the desire to do things that you wont get to do?? Just preparing myself for what could happen...and for helping myself until the day comes where it happens or not. Thanks
> 
> 
> Dray



Regarding the adventurous stuff you mentioned in your other post:

Pics and Videos: In the new digital age of youtube and facebook and online porn, nude pictures and videos early on in a marriage to a lot of people are a terrifying thing.

Sex outdoors: This is much better not talked about until it has been done. Spend time together doing things outdoors and when it becomes romantic and the mood is there and the surroundings are right, go for it. Once you've done that and she has seen it work out for the better she may actually be willing to discuss further escapades to spice thing up.

Toys and Roleplaying: I'm a little surprised with being young in age and only 3 years into your marriage at the need for pics-videos-toys-roleplaying-sex outdoors etc etc. Is this due to a lack of excitement in sex or..??

Trying some simple things around the house may work in your favor like asking to her to a wear really low-cut shirt around the house or other sexy clothing, taking showers together, spending time laying and stroking her naked body or giving her massages.

There is a big difference between you getting off by her being naughty, and you two being naughty together. 
One is saying you are attracted to her and no matter what she does you two are in the same boat. The other is you saying "I'm a visual person but I'm more attracted to watching you be naughty than I am actually attracted to you."

Make sure she knows both of those things are true. Once she is certain you guys are in the same boat together she may very well open up more.


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## Drayvius (Nov 30, 2010)

Chef, I hear where your comming from and let me say this. At first, I thought I found this site and I made my post....then after reading other peoples post I felt kinda stupid, cause other people had far worse problems then I. When it comes to sex, me and my wife have a good sex life. Average of about 2 times a week and neither of us have much to comeplain about other then what I have talked about. I havnt really added much in the way of details so let me say this. When I say I am trying to get my wife to open up....I mean just that. We have been together for 3 years and I will say we have maybe taken 2 showers together, and had sex in a room other then the bedroom, possibly twice. Its because if I ask her to take a shower with me with intentions, she says no and just laughs a bit. So I kinda thought that if she only ever wanted to have sex in the bedroom, at night, before bed....then maybe we could do some different things there. Also, don't mistake interest for boredom. I am 28, she is 22, and while we have had the same amount of partners, I have more exp then she does. I don't know what it is taht you have done in your sex life, but I can say this. The most interesting thing that I have ever done is have sex in the living room. So, at almost 30, yeah I have some things I want to try, that doesnt mean that I don't like sex with my wife, it just means that I am comfortable enough with my wife to start trying to explore things that I have always wanted to try.

Dray


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