# Step daughter opened up to me today finally



## mrshannahj (Nov 5, 2017)

My step daughter opened up to me finally.It was two weeks ago I saw there was something wrong 2 weeks ago and asked her what is wrong.Said nothing.She is 14 years old and finally did decide to tell me,knows I am always there for her.Said a boy at school won't keep his hands off of her and I alerted my husband right away on it.Came forward and said he even put his left hand down her pants on Friday telling us who it is that did it.I told her that is sexual assault which that needs to be reported.Did call the cops and a report was filed which school is going to be notified of tomorrow.I am going make an appointment with my friend Danielle whom is a therapist whom deals with sexual abuse victims tomorrow.I see she is a little traumatized now.My husband agrees with me on this part as well.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Is pepper spray legal in your country? Brass knuckles? Maximum length of blades allowed? Do you think she would be interested in self-defence classes once she recovers? 

I believe you are doing right at the moment, I would have... however, had first asked her if she's ready for it be reported. It may have alot of social consequences at her school if word gets out when she's not ready, she may be shamed.


----------



## mrshannahj (Nov 5, 2017)

Said she was ready to report it,could not hold on to it anymore.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

And the pepper spray?

Report to whom? Just to you? Also to the police? How about the school? Needs to be handled delicately.


----------



## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

very sorry this happened, and definitely needs to be dealt with.

Teens are walking hormones, I know was a teen most of us(kids in my school) put our hands on girls in manners that were not proper. grab a boob here, a butt pinch there, etc... it was wrong, and most of us knew no better. Today's kids have even less comprehension of right and wrong, because they are so used to getting things their way. Based ONLY on the information given here I don't think he should spend the rest of his life branded a sex offender, but certainly he needs to be set straight and learn this is not socially acceptable behavior.

The older brother of a girl I butt pinched set me straight, I never made unwelcome contact again! No law/school was involved, just a much larger boy rattle my brain for a minute or two and literally knocked some sense into my head. I wasn't seriously injured, and we became good friends later on. Sadly this today would get the brother in big trouble too so you really have no choice but run it thru the proper channels.


----------



## mrshannahj (Nov 5, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> And the pepper spray?
> 
> Report to whom? Just to you? Also to the police? How about the school? Needs to be handled delicately.


Did call the police and they are going to contact the school tomorrow which the school will do something about it.Had 3 sexual assaults lately and the 3 boys that did it were expelled through a hearing also charged with sexual assault which they were convicted of.Reported it to the police


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

From the same school?!


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A guy at her school put his hand down her pants? How did he manage to get that close to her?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How did it go today?


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> And the pepper spray?
> 
> Report to whom? Just to you? Also to the police? How about the school? Needs to be handled delicately.


Brass knuckles are illegal just about everywhere in U.S. Most single-edged fixed or folding knives are legal to carry in public. Pepper spray varies widely by state and city. All of those will get you permanently expelled from school, regardless of circumstances.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Reporting to the police was the right thing to do. 

You might see if she wants to take a martial arts class. Its great for her health and confidence if a situation like that ever happens again. I say martial arts rather than "self defense" - I think the discipline and confidence from a real long term class are extremely valuable. 

Brass knuckles are probably not a good idea - violates school weapons rules.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Fozzy said:


> Brass knuckles are illegal just about everywhere in U.S. Most single-edged fixed or folding knives are legal to carry in public. Pepper spray varies widely by state and city. All of those will get you permanently expelled from school, regardless of circumstances.


Same here, yet I reckon it's BS laws and I'd encourage women to break it to protect themselves if they aren't proficient unarmed, just be smart about it. OP's daughter-in-law is already shaken from the attack, it could have been alot worse. Get expelled from school or get raped?

Best way is unarmed sure, and in that I recommend a simple basic self defence course, you only need a few techniques, honed and trained, to fend off an attacker. Depends on how prepared OP's DIL wants to be however.


----------



## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> Same here, yet I reckon it's BS laws and I'd encourage women to break it to protect themselves if they aren't proficient unarmed, just be smart about it. OP's daughter-in-law is already shaken from the attack, it could have been alot worse. Get expelled from school or get raped?
> 
> Best way is unarmed sure, and in that I recommend a simple basic self defence course, you only need a few techniques, honed and trained, to fend off an attacker. Depends on how prepared OP's DIL wants to be however.


 It's the OP's stepdaughter not DIL and she's 14. Advising her to take expulsion worthy weapons into her high school is bad advice ... period. A kid that age would eventually expose the weapon and get expelled from school. Pretty much ruining her life. Not even to take into account the decision making and skill set it takes to make the right decision in a self-defense ( or not) confrontation, which in the case of using a bladed weapon would be considered deadly force. If needed you would be correct in that it is better than being raped but if she overreacted to the threat at hand, her future would be ruined.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Your concerns are real, and should be heeded. However, my first GF was raped at 14, and myself I was already living on my own at age 12. Expulsion is serious, but rape is worse. I'm not so sure how the laws are in your country, in mine back in the day chances are it would be a fine and your juvenile record gets wiped at 17 - laws which has changed in recent years. I'd encourage observing the laws, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do, and make decisions by weighing up the consequences of each action. Hence I mentioned, she should be smart about it. 

In other countries justice is all about money, a friend's sister was raped but he found the guy, got him drunk, then knived him, paralysed him from leg down for life. The police arrested him, but his father was a colonel, paid the bribe. Went to visit the guy, and said to him "It was ME, I'm free, and you're paralysed" lol. Did well, knived him at the right spot. They say the BS line that "revenge doesn't bring peace" pffft, it sure as hell brought peace to his sister. Always admired the family loyalty in those cultures.

Sometimes when legal justice fails, you have to do what you have to do. That's all I'm saying.

In modern countries, best solution is always unarmed, and to control the situation not to leave damage to be sued over. Martial arts however, takes time, discipline, and not to mention interest to stick with it. If OP's stepdaughter can take up a martial art, then she can avoid all other options. Recommend JJJ for its grappling/controlling techniques.


----------

