# Setback on Valentine's Day



## PinkLady1 (Jan 23, 2013)

Days before Christmas, I found out that my husband had been cheating on me- again! Same girl as before, but difference is we now have a son. turns out he was cheating onme the entire time I was preganant and all the way up until I caught him (just before xmas). I came on to this site, it has helped A LOT!, but this valentine's Day thing is killine me. 

I did the hwole 180 thing and am focusing on my son and on the future I want, but the realization that my love-life has been a sham has set me back a few paces. I cannot be with a man who blames me for cheating- I asked what I had done to make him give himself away to another woman when our son was 2 weeks old and he had no answer just that it was my fault he cheated, yea idk?

Anywho, I have been strong and focusing on being happy, but how do you cope on a day like this? I have been crying all day and totally want to go out and drink my sorrows away. But, I can't!! I have a son to think about and am now having a hard time coping with this. I went for a 2mile walk and did some strength training, but the whole time was tearing up. 

Any advice on how to cope? :scratchhead:


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

PL, read thru both your posts and believe you are being incredibly strong, courageous and focused on your child and future. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal...it certainly is too early for you not to be feeling miserable and perhaps feeling not able to cope. Stay with the 180 and lawyers and until your husband begins to take responsibility for the selfish destruction he pulled, I would not even talk to him. Go dark as they say around here. 
I clicked on your post because of the reference to Valentines Day but realize what I am going thru today is nothing like your pain...my WH has always taken me for granted, couldn't be less concerned with my feelings and can't even get interest up enough to buy me a stupid card on VD and I was feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Please realize that VD is really just a single day like any other, if you have good days, where you feel strong and optimistic, you will have them again. Things WILL get better, whether you reconcile(only if he agrees to all the conditions you set, and do not set them low and easy) or whether you seperate. You are young, you can find someone who will love and cherish you properly! Have faith in yourself. Look into the eyes of your baby, feel his warmth in your arms, hear his little cries and coos and realize he is the purpose and joy of your life for now, realize that the pain or joy we feel at the events in our life are OUR choice to feel. Believe me, I know how hard it is but be easy on yourself, don't expect too much too fast when it concerns how long you need to grieve and let the tears flow if you must, it doesn't mean you are weak, it means you loved deeply...I will light a candle for YOU in my home tonight...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

When I was a single mom, Valentines day was all about my kids. One year, we went to the grocery store and bought 'everything chocolate' for supper. Chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate sauce, chocolate cookies, chocolate bars, whatever struck our fancy. They got an absolute kick out of it.

Then I would have a date with my dildo after they were in bed.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

I say you and your son make some valentine hearts together for eachother. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half, draw the half heart on one side and help him cut it...he will be so amazed at how it turns into a heart. Let him color it and decorate it. Put the date on the back and save it to show him when he gets older and ask him if he remembers making that. Sorry I'm a dork but was a preschool teacher and love crafts..it's relaxing making kid crafts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

oops I thought you wrote your son was 2 years old not 2 weeks old I'm sorry...but you could get some crafts and make something special for him...hey get some paint and paint his hands and put his hands on paper just something to save from him as a baby  make some foot prints too. Try to make today a good day. So sorry for what happened to you..there will be alot of grieving and hurt. I don't know you but will pray for ya.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ComicBookLady (Feb 28, 2012)

You're husband is full of Sh!t!!! (Excuse my french)

I am SO SORRY you have going through this. It's terrible enough to cheat on a woman, but he cheated on you during one of the most sacred parts of your life, while you were carrying his child, something he should cherish you for.

You did NOTHING to drive him away. He is just a cheater. The fact that he blames you is the ultimate insult.

I know it's the day after V-Day now, but I hope you made it through okay. You've got a little baby boy who looks up to you as the most wonderful and most beautiful woman in the world, and his love will NEVER change  

Happy late Valentine's to you, and BIG HUG


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