# Need help dealing with illiterate husband



## tiredofthis (Apr 4, 2011)

I never thought that I would be in this low time of my life. I have known that my husband only had up to grade 6 education when we met. At that time, he had a good job in a warehouse and never occurred to me the extent of his illiteracy. He was able to live on his own, got a well paying job and paid his bills on time. After our wedding, everything went downhill for me. I had to hide the secret from family and friends, and tell lies when he got laid off from one job to the next. I couldn't tell people that it's because he can't read or write, i say that it's the economy that's why they let him go, or that he hated his job and looking for a better one, but in fact it's his inability to follow rules and instructions very well. I thought that employers were lucky coz they can just fire him and he is out of their hair, but I am so unlucky as I cannot get rid of him that easily. He has to make my life hell in the process. I decided to finally work and get him to stay at home and take care of the kids, but that was a big mistake as I would come home to a very unorganized house after a stressful shift. After only a few months at my work, I got laid off and now we are both looking for work and I'm stuck with a man who can't keep a job for more than 3 mos at at time. I kick myself everyday for getting involved with him but there is nothing else I can do. I have kids to take care of and he is adding to my stress as he doesn't have the common sense to do the simplest thing, like putting a stamp on a letter before mailing it.. I seriously have to be his mom and hold his hand to do everything. His parents also could not read and write, but at their time, anyone could get a job and with no competition. Now, it's very competitive and even those who have education can't find jobs, let alone those who can't even fill out an application form because they don't know how. I've taken more responsibility since marrying him and I'm exhausted. I feel dead inside everyday that I see him as I don't see any good future ahead of us, only uncertainty and more job losses. I live day by day with this man and I know I need to get out but his kids need him too.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

What about looking into a free literacy course in your area and telling him you love him so much, you know he can learn if he puts his mind to it, but that you can't be his mum any more.


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## mc75 (Jan 23, 2011)

Perhaps he could study for some alternative credential? If you are in the U.S. there is the GED for those who did not finish high school.


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## Aiolanda (Apr 17, 2017)

You really can not blame your family because at one point in time you loved this man enough to sleep with him to get your beautiful family you have now. So, as for you being drained, i think it is the combination of everything happening to your life at the same time. There is this saying i came up with years ago "fix what you can now and move on to the next problem" before you know it you have fixed everything the way YOU want. Honestly, divorce is not always the right path. As women we are natural born fixers no, not the kind of fix it like a roof or a car but emotionally and inner-strength fixing. You should pick up the slack regardless and push him through try tough love. You obviously love him enough to come here and ask for help. Color code stuff leave recordings if he can not read make a game out of chores if you feel he is still a kid at heart. Once you find that niche in the fabric of reality you living in then you'll be able to fix things right up. Oh and by the way i am in your situation and my husband is struggling but i pushed him through college, color coded things left recordings, and made games out of things because i still loved him and believe in him. So yeah, give a go tough love, push him through, never give and believe in him, I'm pretty sure your children do.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Jesus was resurrected yesterday...symbolically.

This post was brought back from the Dead....in reality.
@Aiolanda is a newbie. She made the mistake that many others have also done !!

DEAD POST.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Zombie thread from 2011.

Closing.


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