# What is going on with my wife?



## micheal (Sep 4, 2012)

We been married for 7 seven years. She is someone that use to love sex, now a days, it seems like she wants nothing to do with me. I'm a guy that never cries over anything in real life, just sappy movies. but lately i've been crying so much about our relationship and sometimes in front of her. She Seems like she wants to argue or be defensive with me, anytime we talk about it, like there is something going on with her. Any help would be appreciated
Thanks,
Micheal


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

If she can't communicate with you, you'll never find out what is going on.

I don't know how your conversations/arguments go, but try to express how you feel and try to avoid anything that makes her defensive. Just try to get the conversation started and let her talk.

otherwise, I'd suggest marriage counseling.


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## RDL (Feb 10, 2012)

Look at the information on this site and come back with feedback if the issues presented resonate with you:

Infidelity, Cheating Wives - Women's Infidelity


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Micheal

Just a friendly bit of advice.

Go to the Coping with Infidelity section of TAM.

Spend some time going through the threads.

See if you see anything familiar to your situation.

I hope you do not.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> but lately i've been crying so much about our relationship and sometimes in front of her.


That ain't helping dude...


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Micheal, Not enough info, fill us in a bit more?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I agree with costa. Stop the crying and groveling and figure out what is going on with her

I would aslo suggest some QUIET investigatig to see if she's got something else going on

Get a keylogger for your PC, a VAR for her car and start looking at her cell phone usage/texting immeadiately!


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## Santa (May 31, 2012)

Mike, I hate to tell you, but listen to the wise souls on this site. The lessons learned came with great prices and they are showing you a short cut.

Also, STOP crying in front of her! She see's is as weak and a major turn off. You will lose her for sure, if you dont. 


Get the VAR or keylogger and find out whats going on, but dont tip your hand to her. Something is going on. Maybe its not as bad as you think, but the way you are going about it makes all the difference in the world!

These people care and they will give vast amounts of knowledge to help you thru this. Read what they tell you to read ASAP!!

Hang in there...


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## Incognito007 (Sep 2, 2012)

Santa said:


> Also, STOP crying in front of her! She see's is as weak and a major turn off. You will lose her for sure, if you dont.


This always confused me. So women want men who have feelings but they don't want them to show them? Why is it acceptable when a woman cries over grief but not a man? Look, I understand where you are coming from. I have dated women that thought men crying was weak. However, I find it to be a real double standard in how each sex is allowed to handle these situations. Men are not supposed to get angry, they are not supposed to cry. What are we supposed to do? Be Spock and treat every encounter with logic and without emotion?


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Incognito007 said:


> This always confused me. So women want men who have feelings but they don't want them to show them? Why is it acceptable when a woman cries over grief but not a man? Look, I understand where you are coming from. I have dated women that thought men crying was weak. However, I find it to be a real double standard in how each sex is allowed to handle these situations. Men are not supposed to get angry, they are not supposed to cry. What are we supposed to do? Be Spock and treat every encounter with logic and without emotion?


Yeah, pretty much! LOL

Seriously though. When women say they want a "sensitive man" it means they want a man who can show love, as in give attention and affection, showing his kids love, etc. It doesn't mean a blabbering cry baby. I cry over one issue any story/movie etc where a child dies or the relationship between a father and child is lost (to death). That's just me. Aside from that, I really try to never cry. I'm definitely a "sensitive man" but the key word in that is man, not sensitive.

Women are hardwired to want a provider and protector now the beauty of life is each woman will vary in her perception of what makes a man "manly" but I can guarantee it's not crying. The only woman who wants to see her man cry is the woman in leather, holding the whip demanding you call her Ma'am or Madam while she's wearing a strap-well you get the idea....


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## Incognito007 (Sep 2, 2012)

Dad&Hubby said:


> Yeah, pretty much! LOL
> 
> Seriously though. When women say they want a "sensitive man" it means they want a man who can show love, as in give attention and affection, showing his kids love, etc. It doesn't mean a blabbering cry baby. I cry over one issue any story/movie etc where a child dies or the relationship between a father and child is lost (to death). That's just me. Aside from that, I really try to never cry. I'm definitely a "sensitive man" but the key word in that is man, not sensitive.


People handle anger and stress in different ways. Some people cry. Some become violent. Others just shut down. I don't think there is anything unmanly about crying. I would rather release my frustration in the form of tears than in the form of violence. If a woman finds me unmanly because I may cry during moments of great emotion, then that may not be the best woman for me. A man can still cry from time to time and not be a blabbering cry baby.

I do, however, find it odd that you find it acceptable to cry over ficticious scenarios but not real life events. I understand that is just you and we are all different, put I would simply put more weight on real life events.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Everyone always jumps on he "SHE'S CHEATING!" bandwagon. Maybe, but it's probably a LOT simpler than that. It AMAZES me that in this day and age men still don't know that wives REGULARLY check out of marriages. Might as well spin your wheels spying. You'll get 5 "She's cheating" to every one "maybe it's something else". Go ahead and confirm.

Better to Google "Walk Away Wife" and read up. But ignore the parts about how to win her back. She's gone. Let her go. 180 time (and ignore the parts about THAT where they imply she may come along. It rarely happens).


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

7 year itch. I hope you can make it through!!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> *7 year itch.* I hope you can make it through!!!


:lol:

My goodness!

To the OP,
Stop crying in front of her, that is turning her off big time.

Sit down with her and have a man and wife talk.
Why are we not intimate.
If she refuses to respond,or if the answer does not make sense,
Then,
Do some sleuthing. Check her phones, facebook accounts and online activity.


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## Santa (May 31, 2012)

Incognito007 said:


> This always confused me. So women want men who have feelings but they don't want them to show them? Why is it acceptable when a woman cries over grief but not a man? Look, I understand where you are coming from. I have dated women that thought men crying was weak. However, I find it to be a real double standard in how each sex is allowed to handle these situations. Men are not supposed to get angry, they are not supposed to cry. What are we supposed to do? Be Spock and treat every encounter with logic and without emotion?




Women tell you they want something different than what the genetics in them really want.. I know its hard. I had a hard time coming to grips with this too. 

Go check out "Married Mans Sex Life" website too. Learn game and why you need you need it. Not to be a player or douche but to keep the woman you love with all your heart becaue your love alone wont keep her. 


"ou take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."




Take the Red Pill here: Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

Try some counseling.


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## Aggie (Sep 5, 2012)

micheal said:


> We been married for 7 seven years. She is someone that use to love sex, now a days, it seems like she wants nothing to do with me. I'm a guy that never cries over anything in real life, just sappy movies. but lately i've been crying so much about our relationship and sometimes in front of her. She Seems like she wants to argue or be defensive with me, anytime we talk about it, like there is something going on with her. Any help would be appreciated
> Thanks,
> Micheal


Has she by any chance recently started on the pill? The pill has some hormones in it that lowers her free testosterone levels which can really, really drive down her libido.

You also might want to consider any other problems you might be having. It is nearly impossible to turn on a woman if you are having other problems. Sex, for a woman, is almost completely in her head. If she is constantly thinking about something else and isn't relaxed, it will be extremely difficult for her to get turned on.

I can't fault you for crying about it, to be honest. Neurochemically, we men attribute sex to love. For her, love has a much looser connection to sex. So if she stops having sex with you, you feel like she doesn't love you anymore.

You might want to look into 2 books called "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain". Sometimes these problems can be attributed to misunderstandings. These books pretty accurately describe how the female and male minds work, and have helped me come to a better understanding of my wife.

Good luck


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