# He beat me one time over a year ago and now...



## JNC (Sep 12, 2011)

About a year and half ago my husband had beat me very badly while intoxicated. He spent a few days in jail and had to attend anger management and counseling before we could be together again. Why I stayed with him is beyond me. I do love him and he did change somewhat. From that horrible experience of my life, our marriage has since become an open one for several reasons. I wont go into the details of his cheating and being unprotected..Thank God I did not catch anything.. We are supposed to be honest and respect one another as a rule to our open arrangement, but he continues to lie and disrespect me. I catch him in lies all the time and he has absolutely no respect for me. Yet, he is very affectionate and shows emotion when we talk. I just feel like a marriage should not be like this. I truly think that I am pretty cool wife. I do not nag or constantly blow up his phone when he is out of town visiting friends. Just recently we went out with some friends and he got hammered. He was being really nasty to me and when he passed out I went through his phone..I was absolutely horrified to see what he had been texting to his friends about me. Not to mention, he still displays signs of aggression and anger toward me when intoxicated..He acts so different and distant when he is out of town working or with friends, but when he is with me he is so loving and warm. I have come to the point where I just want to quit. I do not think I can do this anymore. I am tired, stressed and just want it to be over...


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## hoohagirl (Sep 12, 2011)

JNC, 
I cannot condone his physical and mental abuse. I don't care why he is doing it, if he is, it's time to go. It's a healthy sign that you are ready to quit!!!!

xo.


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## looking4support (Sep 12, 2011)

Unfortunately is sounds like he already quit the marraige. He might just like having the handy cleaning wife at home, but not want to put in the effort any longer. I wouldn't blame you at all if you left. At this point it needs to be more about your happiness.
Good Luck!


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

The whole thing is unhealthy. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I do think you know what you need to do, and when you are ready I believe you will. Good luck.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think you can expect this pattern to continue if you stay with him.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

My signature might say it best for you. Hopefully you will take that first step and begin a new life for yourself without him. Once you know you deserve better and are ready to put that thought into action, you will.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

You have an abusive drunk on your hands. It won't get better. Expect it to progress. To heck with the jail time and anger management stuff. He beat you before; he is perfectly capable of beating you again.

You were a victim. Now that you know what he is saying behind your back and how he continues to abuse you, you have become a volunteer.


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