# Would you do it all over again



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I had a married friend ask me this the other day, knowing how the marriage was to end, if you had the choice would you do it all over again?


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Because of my children, yes.

Otherwise. NO FRIGGIN WAY.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Nope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

No


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

I used to think yes, but now I doubt it. The separation has proven that nothing lasts forever. I'd be happy in a new relationship (eventually), but not sure if I am ever getting married again. 

I might get a dog.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

No.


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## mike82 (Oct 24, 2011)

ill put it like this, if i could go back in time, i would stay home the night i first met her.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Because we had a beautiful daughter together, yes. She is the only good thing I have taken with me from our nineteen years together.

Otherwise, absolutely not.


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## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

i think those of us having children makes it worth going through again...maybe the question would be besides the children, would you go through it again? Me --- NO.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Yes I would but there are some things I would have done differently.
This whole experience has changed me a lot. I wish Id had the knowledge of what I have learned about sustaining a happy marriage all those years ago.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

If I could still have my son, he11 no!!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

hmmm interesting question - yes I think I would because I think he was right for me at the time

but I would have finished it five or six years ago


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

I would have went my way from her between 19-21years old and done things that made me happier. I would be in a different place, but I would have found someone else for sure by now, this and less questions that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I have had a pretty strange time with her.

I have been told my kids are a blessing. Without them, I would have left her 4months into our marriage.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I'm with Daisy, I'd do it again if I'd been better educated on how to deal with my depression; it really did a job on me and our marriage. Yes, I take responsibility for my actions and I'm appaulded at the way I behaved over the years. So yes, if given the chance I'd do it again and change alot if things...about myself.


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

Its a no for me too.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

Yes, I would. People enter and exit our lives for a reason. We live, learn, and grow. I refuse to believe that I "wasted" the last 9 years of my life. 

I just read somewhere that life is made up by chances and accidents...and what we choose to do with them. 

This is such a tough, tough, tough time in my life....and I am going through a tremendous amount of heartache--but, no. I would not have chosen a different path. This is what it is--no regrets. Our focus should be on moving forward--not looking back at the past with regret.


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## DownUnder (Jul 30, 2011)

Yes, i would do it again....but like Daisy there will be certain things i would do differently. I wish i know back then what i know now....but i believe there are certain things that i have learned only from going thru this, otherwise nothing can convinced me otherwise.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

She saved my life and helped me turn into a better husband by divorcing me. YES, I'd go through it all over again and I would appreciate her more for the changes the pain has forced me to make.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I would do it again and do it better. I would have been a better wife for the last two years. I would have been better at expressing my concerns that built up and came out all wrong. I would have done things differently. I have come up w/ a time limit for myself this week (of course it could change) that I am feeling good with and my kids seem okay w/ it... This has been so difficult but I will survive and one way or the other I will be happy again (and I will have sex again!) lol
Lots of it!


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

That really is a hard question....I feel like a lot of positives came out of the last nine years....but maybe they would of anyway....I overcame agoraphobia/anxiety disorder, became much more independant, went back to school, had my little angel Dylan...but I also found out what being abused is all about...physically, emotionally and mentally....the pain was excrutiating at times...but it made me the strong person I am now...so hard to say....I like me now...but maybe I would of done all that anyway and with someone who encouraged me without fear of being 'left'....


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

For those who said NO....why
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I think this is a good question. My first reaction was a big fat "NO". There are tons of things I would change, I kick myself that I fell in love with my first b/f, so in love I was blinded to everything, I was so naieve, and gave myself completely to this person, I think I lost myself at times. I wish I would have set up boundaries and not allowed him to treat me the way he did sometimes. Maybe he would have respected me more.

I wish I had been a better wife sometimes and he wouldn't have been so frustrated with me.

But I also loved him for many years, and had three beautiful children that I love with every once of my soul. I think I would have done it again...I think.

I also have nothing to compare him to, so who knows, maybe one day it will be a big fat "no" after all ...except for the kids.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I feel like my relationship with my stbxh changed me in a lot of positive ways, I became more assertive, self-assured, confident etc. I can't take that away from him....even if he's a jerk..lol


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

What is stbxh?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Yes. Had 15 years of a good marriage to my best friend. Two awesome kids. 

Problem was just in the last several years. If given a "do-over" I would likely let her go sooner.

Amazing how people can change...


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

par4 said:


> What is stbxh?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Soon to be ex husband.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

My answer would be yes, two great kids and most of 28 year together that I had a partner and friend, lived a great life with some bumps in the road, but overall it was great. I am sorry that we had such a difficult time over the last few years, that we didn't listen to each other sooner and that there wasn't enough trust in our love to keep this going. But I don't regret having done it. Meant a lot to me


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

Of course. This event has brought me closer to god. I also have a wonderful daughter that I get to spend the rest of my days loving and caring for.


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