# Never Did This Before...



## SevenXII (Jul 3, 2018)

I'm a figure it out type of woman. I like to find solutions on my own, but I think I need help with this married life stuff. 

I have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have actually been together for 13 years. Getting him to communicate is still a hassle. So I figured I would seek advice and get a different perspective on things. I consider myself pretty open-minded. I've always been told that I am a great listener and easy to talk to. I make it a point to avoid being a judgmental person and I try to just accept people for who they are, no matter what. I don't like to beat around the bush about things and I hate it when people do that to me. I always insist on complete honesty and straightforward communication. I'm really hoping I'll find that here.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Honest and forthright communication requires the ability to handle criticism with anger knowing yourself and husband is that possible or even likely?


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

Wanta swap spouses? 

Communication with my wife results in a nearly immediate shut down and a mental runaway. We're not talking critical comment, blunt talk or deep conversation. Nope. Anything remotely contrary to her world view, her digital outlook, her a priori knowledge, results in a shutdown, sullen behavior that can go for days, and the silent treatment. 

Geez. I really didn't sign up for this. I knew about 80 percent of the crazy, its the other 20 percent that kicks ass. 

Actively looking for a way out.


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## SevenXII (Jul 3, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> Honest and forthright communication requires the ability to handle criticism with anger knowing yourself and husband is that possible or even likely?


I think we both handle criticism pretty well. Even if I get upset, I try not to let my anger influence how I respond. My husband is a little different. When he gets upset, he can sometimes become a bit juvenile in his responses. For the most part though, he listens when I talk to him about things.


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## SevenXII (Jul 3, 2018)

23cm said:


> Wanta swap spouses?
> 
> Communication with my wife results in a nearly immediate shut down and a mental runaway. We're not talking critical comment, blunt talk or deep conversation. Nope. Anything remotely contrary to her world view, her digital outlook, her a priori knowledge, results in a shutdown, sullen behavior that can go for days, and the silent treatment.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear that. My brother actually has similar issues with his wife.


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