# Any advice for one who doesn't trust birth control?



## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

That would be me. I don't trust any form of birth control (period), because its all man-made (I have a very low trust for man, especially when he can't even guarantee something) and think its wrong to risk bringing children into the world that you cannot properly care for. This to me evidences a great lack of responsibility. I've about lost hope that someone will have a real solution, but I can still ask right?


As you can imagine, it impacts our marriage.


... help


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Don't have sex then.

Life doesn't have any sort of guarantee, for anything. Everything is a deliberation of risk/benefit ratio. What's the risk vs what's the benefit. How bad is the risk vs how great is the benefit. It's your call but I'm thinking your spouse may also want to weigh in.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Don't have sex then.
> 
> Life doesn't have any sort of guarantee, for anything. Everything is a deliberation of risk/benefit ratio. What's the risk vs what's the benefit. How bad is the risk vs how great is the benefit. It's your call but I'm thinking your spouse may also want to weigh in.


:iagree:

OP, you're correct--nothing is foolproof in life. The only way to guarantee no babies is no sex.

You can try to combine multiple forms of BC to reduce risk. Tubal ligation, vasectomy, condoms, pills, IUD, spermicide....mix and match, but yeah, there's still going to be that one in a million chance.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Basically man does not control mature. Make this about not trusting man (humans) is just silly because that assume that if man was just trustworthy, man could make a foolproof type of birth control. 

The only fool proof birth control is abstinence.

The next best ways are Tubal ligation, vasectomy.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

As others have suggested - double up on birth control methods - plus have access to pregnancy test kits, use them when necessary and live somewhere abortion is legal.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

With that world view, what are you doing here asking the opinions of us mere men and women?


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

Oral.
HJ.
BJ.

If you do these you can't get preggers.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

I appreciate all of your comments guys. Please keep them coming. This is the only forum that is active enough to get feedback to begin with, much less decent feedback. To answer some of you:

We aren't having sex, and that is the problem.

I'm asking you because I want help.

I already have a vasectomy.

I don't believe in abortion.

We do hj's and bj's, rarely though.

We've considered doubling up, and tripling up. We may go that route, but I'm like 

I married my wife because I love her and wanted to spend my life with her. I trust man to different levels, in different matters. The life of a child is a matter that I'm not willing to trust humans with.

*Part of what it is guys, is that there is this law of the universe that says that the only time in your life that you forget to take you drivers license with you, that you get pulled over. This same law also dictates life in every other aspect as well. I'm telling you, based on the authority of this universal law, that if we have intercourse, my wife will get pregnant. That's just the law man. I'm just looking for a legal loophole that will work.*


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It's call Murphy's law.

So here's how you circumvent Mr. Murphy and his stupid law.


Ready....?


Get Prepared for parenthood. Buy books, videos, cribs, blankets and start saving for college tuition. Then, according to Mr Murphy, you will never become a parent no matter what birth control you use.

Now let's get to the real issue that brought you here?

Shall we start with "not having enough sex" or shall we go with your anxiety NOS?


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

That's genius Anon Pink! Why didn't I think of that! Duh! You are so smart. Wow! I love it! THANKS SO MUCH!

As for my anxiety, I have none. The issue with me is irresponsibility, not anxiety.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

You've had a vasectomy?


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

Anon Pink... My wife and I discussed it, and we figured that your plan to beat Murphy's law will only work if we really want children. :S We are doomed!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

AxeofWar, you have a vasectomy.

You will be ok.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

AxeofWar said:


> Anon Pink... My wife and I discussed it, and we figured that your plan to beat Murphy's law will only work if we really want children. :S We are doomed!


If you use strong measures and you still get pregnant, give the baby up for adoption.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> AxeofWar, you have a vasectomy.
> 
> You will be ok.


To ~ 99.95% certainty.

1 in 2000 spontaneously reverses. I know personally of two vasectomy babies. 

Not to feed anyone's anxiety or anything.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Is this a way to convince your spouse to have anal or something. You had a vasectomy why are you so concerned ?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

AxeofWar said:


> Anon Pink... My wife and I discussed it, and we figured that your plan to beat Murphy's law will only work if we really want children. :S We are doomed!


Then you will have to go with the addendum to Murphy's law. Aka John Lenon's law; life is what happens while your busy making other plans.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I am sorry that you feel this way, when it comes to life there are simply no guarantees. Since you are unwilling to take any risks at all, the only solution is to never have sex.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

Wolf1974: 

No no... no anal anything. The concern is Murphy's law. The mathematical calculation of statistical chances is not what bothers me. Its the fact that Murphy's law almost overrides all law.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

Ebp123:

While I would adopt a child, I would never give mine up for adoption. I would never trust another human being with my child, saving for my wife, and that's pretty much only because I have to.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Here's some logic for you.

You don't trust man. I don't know if you mean "mankind" or men as opposed to women. 

IF you are avoiding having sex with her, then the probabiliity that she has sex with someone else and becomes pregnant is higher than you impregnating her. Especially considering the lack of trustworthiness of man.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

hicks said:


> here's some logic for you.
> 
> You don't trust man.
> 
> If you are avoiding having sex with her, then the probabiliity that she has sex with someone else and becomes pregnant is higher than you impregnating her. Especially considering the lack of trustworthiness of man.




Mind Blown

View attachment 29050


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Axe, in your first post you mentioned that this is causing stress in the relationship. Would you care to expand on that? Are you denying your wife sex because of Murphy's Law?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Okay, "worst case" scenario is that you have a kid. No problem. Just send him or her over to my house, because there's usually so many kids running around here that it may take me up to ten minutes to notice a new face at the dinner table.

Have to say, man, that your concerns don't appear to be terribly rational, and in fact are hurting your relationship.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

go through all the pain in your balls for a week but have none of the fun after?


don't drive a car, the chances of getting in a accident and dying are much higher than getting pregnant after a vasectomy

don't take a shower the chances of slipping and breaking your neck are higher than getting pregnant

I could go on

the point being is that life is full of all sorts of risk vs reward scenarios and this is no different than everything you do just to well, live


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What does your wife think about this whole "no sex" thing?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

If you've had a vasectomy, and had your doctor do the follow-up re-check(s) to make sure your sperm count is now zero, then that's about as good as birth control gets. If you're still worried about it, wear a condom, ask your wife to get on the pill, or use some other method of birth control as a second line of defense. 

Or you could fix whatever is actually wrong - with either yourself or your relationship - that has you rationalizing a sexless marriage with irrational paranoia regarding the possibility of pregnancy.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

The word paranoia comes to mind...

Seriously, how do you live if you don't trust man for anything?

How do you know someone won't run you over when you walk outside your house?


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## ahsorandy (Sep 10, 2014)

My wife and I have 4 children. Only 1 was planned! :smthumbup:

3 times I defeated the birth control measures!


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## justaguy123 (Aug 20, 2014)

OP - how about castration? Won't that guarantee 100% no babies?

You can do it the easy way via surgery, or the hard way by doing it yourself...since you don't trust "man"... best of luck.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

*Hicks:*

When I say I don't trust man, I mean mankind. I am confident that she won't lay with someone else.

*Anon Pink: *

Lolz!

*Fozzy:*

The stress in the relationship is that she wants to have it. She doesn't like that we don't. It is also hard on me because I don't feel like I have any connection with/to her at all. This is very frustrating to me, though I can deal. Yes... Murphy's law would be the reason.

*GTdad:*

Lolz! Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather watch them myself to make sure a good eye was kept on them. Irrational? Me? Perhaps yes. I don't know about you, but if I feel that I shouldn't do something, because as soon as I do it everything will go wrong, and the feeling is strong, and keeps pressing, and aggravates me, its always right. Isn't it?

*Almostrecovered:*

Yeah... you could put it that way... but it was more like two weeks for me, leaning on three. The reason I still drive and so forth, is because there no sense of warning that Murphy is out to get me. Look above at what I said to GTdad.

*PBear:*

She hates it wretchedly, though it hasn't effected us to much in a practical sense because she has had a yeast infection for months now.

*Rowan:*

We will probably end up going the tripling up on birth control route. And I'm NOT paranoid. It has nothing to do with this. It has to do with responsibility.

*TheCuriousWife:*

I never said that I don't trust man for anything. I said I don't trust man. Then I expounded upon that I said that I trust different individuals to different degrees regarding different things. How can I live? I trust my Father in heaven.


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## justaguy123 (Aug 20, 2014)

You are a very strange man. You don't trust man, and yet you trust some unknown entity that men invented, this "Father in Heaven"... you sound like a nut to me.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

*ahsorandy:*

Congrats!

*Justaguy123:*

Castration would work, but my wife will not vouch for that. If I am strange to you, then I am strange to you.


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## justaguy123 (Aug 20, 2014)

Just wait until your wife is 50 years old, after menopause. Then feel free to have all the wonderful sex you want. No worries about babies any more. Hope you don't have to wait for long, friend.


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

About 40 years ago, I was the third patient that Dr. Snip Snip performed a vasectomy on and it was a horrible mess. His attempt to corral my swimmers apparently was successful for my wife's eggs were not dated by my boys any more. Believe me, we have really put this vasectomy to the test.:smthumbup:

I believe if the vas deferens were securely tied off and a BIG chunk cut out between the ties the boys will be caged. This procedure did work for us.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

ifweonly said:


> About 40 years ago, I was the third patient that Dr. Snip Snip performed a vasectomy on and it was a horrible mess. His attempt to corral my swimmers apparently was successful for my wife's eggs were not dated by my boys any more. Believe me, we have really put this vasectomy to the test.:smthumbup:
> 
> I believe if the vas deferens were securely tied off and a *BIG chunk cut out* between the ties the boys will be caged. This procedure did work for us.


*wince*


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

if you have had a vasectormy, then just add a condom. 

If that still worries, seek some counselling. Sounds a tad OCDish to me.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

If she is on birth control, you have a vasectomy, you wear 2 condoms (although remember, doubling up condoms create friction and are more likely to tear --- so I'd suggest wearing one condom), she uses a female condom, she has her tubes tied and uterus removed, you both use spermicide as lubrication, you pull out before you orgasm, and after sex she washes out with douche immediately, I think you would be at 100% no chance of having a baby my friend.

So you are in luck. It is possible to guarantee you will never have a child, even with these man made products, if you use them together and do the mathematical equation. This way you wouldn't have to worry about castration.


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## AxeofWar (Mar 16, 2014)

*Coldie:*

LOLZ! For reals? Sex has already become very much of a pain to deal with. If we had to do all that every time, the both of us would vote for abstinence. LOLZ! 

I do however agree on the doubling and tripling up idea, but they would have to be reasonable things. If sex becomes a pain in the butt, it won't be a pleasure in the... yeah.

You made me laugh... thanks... had a rough day today.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

i believe you can crazy glue the tip of your....oh never mind


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