# This is for all going thru divorce and separation



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I subscribe to numerous blogs. Here is one I received in an email earlier today. It is from a website called Practical Happiness Advice That Works | The Positivity Blog
I think it is very topical to what most of us experience in the midst of the break up of our marriages. Enjoy!



The newsletter this Sunday is about something people often forget about or ignore.
And about a reminder that pops up in my head from time to time.

That reminder is this: put on your own oxygen mask first.

What do I mean by that?

Well, when you go flying and they do the little safety check before take-off the
steward or stewardess tells you that in the event of the oxygen masks dropping
down from the ceiling you should put on your own mask first. And then help children
and other people you are traveling with.

Why?

Because if you try to help someone first and you lose consciousness because of your
lack of oxygen then you’ll be no help to anyone.

I think this is a good reminder for life in general too. You have to take care of yourself
and help yourself first to be able to fully share your own talents and the value you can
give to your world.

If you do it the other way around and always put yourself last then you may burn
yourself out.

Or you may become resentful because you feel you have no time or energy just for you.
Or you find yourself in a position where your self-esteem slowly drops week after week
and you feel less and less motivated to help yourself or others.

But how do you use this reminder practically in life?

Here’s a few of the ways that I use it to take care of myself.

I make sure to eat healthy, get enough sleep and I work out 3-4 times a week.

I say no quite often to not be swamped by different activities or by fulfilling requests.

When I feel worried or negative then I let it out and talk it over with a loved one instead
of trying to keep it all on the inside. Just venting or talking it over with a level-headed
person can make a big difference for one's well-being.

I highly recommend keeping this reminder in mind as you go through your day, week
and month. 

Both for yourself and for the people in your life.

Because it will make it easier to make decisions about how you want to spend your
time, to take care of yourself but also to add value and help others in the best way you
can in the longer time-perspective.


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

Thank you for sharing.
It's great advice for people in difficult situations like a separation/divorce.
I try to occupy myself with activities that will take my mind off of my marital situation, but there are times I can't shove the pain aside. Like last night. I was getting ready for sleep, my toddler always cuddles next to me until she falls asleep and then I take her to her bed. As she hugged me tight, I suddenly remembered when her dad and I had bought her crib a month before she was due. We were so excited to put it together and even took pictures of the whole process...I distinctly remember tying the little bows of the crib bumper to each side of the crib. Suddenly I just started to cry, big tears that burst out and wouldn't stop. My little one just hugged me and said, "don't cry, I love you", which made me cry more.

It's hard because I am ending a relationship that has all these super-precious memories...there's no way to get through it except to literally take it day by day.


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