# Looking for constructive advice



## BDonna

Married high school sweetheart. Been together 34 years. I have big trust issues. Can’t figure out if he feeds off of it or is actually doing something. He has no sympathy or understanding on how I feel. Beginning to wonder if I am crazy.


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## SentHereForAReason

BDonna said:


> Married high school sweetheart. Been together 34 years. I have big trust issues. Can’t figure out if he feeds off of it or is actually doing something. He has no sympathy or understanding on how I feel. Beginning to wonder if I am crazy.


Were you going to ask a question in another topic forum? Welcome to the board but we'll need a bit more info to help out  Starting with example of trust issues you have and the reasons that lead to the trusting issues.


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## TJW

BDonna said:


> I have big trust issues. Can’t figure out if he feeds off of it or is actually doing something.


Obviously, I don't know your husband at all, and I only have 44 of your words to know you by. But none of these 44 words say to me that you are "crazy"..... and, it is the most common problem in marriage that the man doesn't "understand" the woman, and the woman doesn't "understand" the man.

This is not something which is done volitionally by either women or men. It's simply that neither of them have any experience at being the other gender.

If you feel comfortable, share some more specific examples with us.


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## Ms. Hawaii

BDonna said:


> Married high school sweetheart. Been together 34 years. I have big trust issues. Can’t figure out if he feeds off of it or is actually doing something. He has no sympathy or understanding on how I feel. Beginning to wonder if I am crazy.




We need more. I’m unable to “answer” your op due to the lack of information.


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## Beach123

Post the whole story you listed on the other thread. 

You have big problems in the marriage and you better start doing some things to change it instead of being a bystander who doesn't say/do anything.

Basically your house is on fire! You address the real issue to change it or you divorce knowing it's not working.


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## Laurentium

BDonna said:


> I am having a difficult time knowing if I am just crazy or going through midlife crisis. My husband has been working same job for 24 years with same coworkers. I am an educated stay at home mom that has a side business just to get out and do my own thing. My husband has texts every day from the same woman saying: " meet me/ what time is lunch/ what are we having for lunch/ I have a sandwich left over if you want it." They go to the local bar and many UAW events together. I have met many of his coworkers except for this woman. Just found out that only him and her are now going to Mexico for an audit. She is an attendance specialists what the hell can you do in Mexico when you don't speak Spanish? This has me feeling so uncomfortable and I am after years of asking to look this lady in the eyes feeling resentful towards him. Is it proper to go to lunch with a coworker and to make sure eachother is taken care of at work. we were on a family vacation and she was texting and calling hi because she was making his business cards. What in the heck do I do to let him know I am done and want to meet her and this lunch **** needs to stop.


So what happens when you try to talk to him about this?


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## EleGirl

Folks, go check out her other thread. She needs some support...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...husband-has-girlfriend-work.html#post19332825


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