# Ladies, my wife verbally and physically abuse me



## Jayson (Jul 28, 2011)

Hello. This is my first time here and I wanted to share my story. I am indeed in an abusive marriage. My wife hits me on my face when ever she gets really angry. It wasnt like this until I lost her respect when I called her a ***** in front of her cousins because I was so frustrated and angry. That was very wrong of me to do. I promised her that I would never call her that name ever again. I kept my promise. After that i noticed that our relationship has changed and gotten worse. 

I have a full time day job and currently studying to become an LVN. She is unemployed and just stays at home. 

I have responsibilities around the house like throwing the garbage away in the bathroom when its full. Refilling the soap dispenser when its empty. Clean the bathroom every 2 weeks. I also help her dad wash trucks every sunday. I do not accept payments because we are staying at her parents house for free.

When I dont get to do my chores because i forget to or not have time to do, she gets upset. I feel as if she's not doing anything, atleast she can do is to throw away the garbage herself or refill the soap dispenser. Its not like shes disabled. Her excuse is that shes teaching me how to responsible. I can understand being responsible about throwing it away when its full. Its how come she cant do it herself and help me. Shes not doing anything. I mean she does the laundry but she only does it 2 times a month or not even. She just watches TV, Eat and sleep the whole day. She's awake all night long and goes to sleep like 3,4,5,6, in the morning and doesn wake up until like 2 or 3 pm. Oh and also she pays for the bills. I actually make it, but she pays them online. Anyway the argument will lead to something else. It will lead to why I do not make love to her. Ive told her that maybe because you verbally and physically abuse me. My heart is broken by that. Tell me, who can make love or perform sex when their partners verbally and physically abuse them? ME!

I dont retaliate back. I just sit there and let it happen. One time we got into an argument. We were having a conversation in the car on the way to the movies. I got distracted for a second because i was trying to find parking and she got really upset. She said "you can give me the common courtesy and say hold on im gonna park real quick" I said my apologies and told her i didnt mean to do that. She then backhands across my face. She told me she didnt wanna watch a movie anymore so she told me to go home. I parked in a different place because she was hitting me again. And i didnt want to get into a car accident. She then started to put me down and call me names so i couldnt take it and stepped out of the car closed the door on her while she was talking. I got a cigarrette from a lady and wanted to walk away. But i thought about it and it was wrong for me to walk away so i went back to the car. She got really mad and started hitting me on my head over and over and over and over and over again. That night I went to the hospital because I had a really bad headache and I couldnt breath that good. What was supprising was she went to the hospital to be there with me. But she was just on her iphone playing games while sitting there not giving me sympathy or anything. Instead I get the blamed that it was my fault for causing all of that.

The reason why she's like that is because our sex relationship has been going down. It started before she started hitting me. We've been together for 10 years. She wants to have kids with me and I do too. Im not giving her any kids thats why she treats me like crap. I mean before all of this, she was very kind to me. She did all the things I wanted her to do. A perfect girlfriend. But as years went by our sex slowed down. This was probably 2 or 3 years after we got together.

Please tell me what to do. Ive already said to her to stop hitting me. She tells me if i dont change to be a better husband which is make love to her and charm her, then she will continue to hit me. PLEASE HELP ME!


----------



## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

You need to leave her. Darlin', why do you even question if this is normal? Several times in your post you say it's "wrong" for you to walk away or swear. You don't need to be perfect in order to be loved. 

Your wife is sick. She is a bully. 

I would try to find a counselor for yourself to figure out why you feel so bad about yourself. I think if you felt more confident, you would not tolerate her behavior even once. 

Did you have abusive parents (mentally or physically)? Did you grow up feeling like you were not good enough? I think this is why you have stayed with your wife - because deep down you don't think you are worthy. But you are. Not even an animal should be hit and demeaned. You don't deserve this!

Since you make all the money, can you find a place to stay for a while? Tell your wife that you won't reconcile with her until she completes an anger management class.

And it wasn't wrong for you to walk away when you are being hit. That is smart. That is protecting yourself. You had no obligation to get back in the car with her.

Please get some help for yourself. You are being abused and you deserve to protect yourself!


----------



## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

She really needs some help realizing what she is doing. Sounds like an anger management problem. I am speaking from experience. I used to resort to getting really angry and had to learn how now to do so. I was also suffering with depression which was messing me all up. She has to first realize she is in the wrong and go get some help, otherwise she will continue to do this and you will have to go.


----------

