# YouTuber wife



## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

Hello everyone, let’s say your wife was a really good singer and she decides to start a you tube channel. Knowing YouTube and knowing that guys from all over the world will see it you know that there are going to be guys saying “you’re so cute” “ I love you” and showing kisses and hearts emoticons from all over the world. What would your opinion be about this? Would you think nothing of it or would it seem as if strangers online are hitting on/flirting with your wife


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

If she isn't singing naked sure.


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## Imagirl (Aug 17, 2020)

If she's a great singer and she's doing it to share her voice who cares? Either turn the comments off or enjoy the fact that you have someone so pretty. If youtubers notice I'm pretty sure people at the gas station and grocery store notice too, so what's the difference?


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Most female singers have a following of that kind of thing.


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

Imagirl said:


> If she's a great singer and she's doing it to share her voice who cares? Either turn the comments off or enjoy the fact that you have someone so pretty. If youtubers notice I'm pretty sure people at the gas station and grocery store notice too, so what's the difference?


Thanks Imagirl I am trying to see it from another viewpoint but it’s so hard. The difference to me is that on YouTube people are actually saying it. To me it feels like I should be the only one saying those kinds of things to my wife not strangers. I want to understand why I feel this way and do the right thing. I want her to be happy but this is hurting me.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Somas said:


> Hello everyone, let’s say your wife was a really good singer and she decides to start a you tube channel. Knowing YouTube and knowing that guys from all over the world will see it you know that there are going to be guys saying “you’re so cute” “ I love you” and showing kisses and hearts emoticons from all over the world. What would your opinion be about this? Would you think nothing of it or would it seem as if strangers online are hitting on/flirting with your wife


Depends on the wife. Assuming the wife has been faithful then I don't see why it would be a problem. It's not her fault if guys come on to her. I am sure this is a pretty typical thing all women go through, particularly on line, singing or not.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Somas said:


> Thanks Imagirl I am trying to see it from another viewpoint but it’s so hard. The difference to me is that on YouTube people are actually saying it. To me it feels like I should be the only one saying those kinds of things to my wife not strangers. I want to understand why I feel this way and do the right thing. I want her to be happy but this is hurting me.


There needs to be some agreed upon boundaries. A lot of weird stuff can happen and it can start to affect her emotionally as well to where she could transfer loyalty to her fans. It can catch people off guard and it is addictive.

Maybe do some research into what can go wrong and what to watch out for first.

I know a lady who isn't even that popular with about 2000 followers, that is neglecting her family and has started treating her husband as a necessary annoyance.

She gets gifts from strangers and offers to be flown out to visit them.

These kind strangers are men of course.


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> There needs to be some agreed upon boundaries. A lot of weird stuff can happen and it can start to affect her emotionally as well to where she could transfer loyalty to her fans. It can catch people off guard and it is addictive.
> 
> Maybe do some research into what can go wrong and what to watch out for first.
> 
> ...


This is exactly the kind of stuff I’m concerned about. It starts off innocent but I foresee that it can catch any person off guard.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Somas said:


> Hello everyone, let’s say your wife was a really good singer and she decides to start a you tube channel. Knowing YouTube and knowing that guys from all over the world will see it you know that there are going to be guys saying “you’re so cute” “ I love you” and showing kisses and hearts emoticons from all over the world. What would your opinion be about this? Would you think nothing of it or would it seem as if strangers online are hitting on/flirting with your wife


If it just singing I don't think I'd care. 
You can disable comments, and is she really going to be reading many of the comments? 
If she started conversing with affectionate male posters then I may intervene and say something about it.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

The reason(s) for her starting the channel will give you a good indication of where it could go. 

Is it purely just to sing and for her to get her voice 'out there'? 

Is it just for fun? 

Is it for some sort of validation that she is not getting elsewhere?

Conanhub was on the money with the 'after effects' of this type of scenario. If you can look at the initial reasons for it wanting to happen, you can get a better idea of how to either support her decision, and/or, be open about your valid concerns with what could happen, and reinforce the fact that you will support this as long as it does not affect how she feels towards you, and the health of your relationship.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Let her sing.
See if she flies.

You married the woman.
Does that include her voice?

Find out if her voice carries.
Carries her away.

If she does fly, file.
She was never your canary.

Encourage her at every step.
You will have more luck being her manager, than her father.

Holding a person back from their dreams makes you soon, their nightmare horror.
You cannot hold tight any form, that is destined to morph, to grow wings and soar.


_The Typist-_


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

DISABLE THE COMMENTS!

And if she is not of a mind to do so it proves that the emotional charge she gets from these comments is her new candy.
Your level playing field has now become a slope.
A slippery slope.
At this point both she and you must proceed with caution.
I wouldn't hurt to bring this to her attention.
Then ask once more to disable the comments.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Disable the comments as other have suggested. But, some like to hear the accolades. Sure, there will be the anonymous post that is totally in appropriate. Can't stop that. But if you think about it, many women's daily life is men saying inappropriate things. These women just keep carrying on and ignore it.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Here is what will happen... Her YouTube channel will grow out of proportion and after monetizing it there will be overwhelming success. Her fans will demand she sing certain types of music that will get millions of views, but this will not be the music she feels the most passionate about. Meanwhile there will be so much money that life gets chaotic. If you want something you buy it! You get to where there is nothing left to want because you have already bought yourself everything. She is singing music she hates because that is what her fans demand. She tries to change but they get upset. 

Come Christmas time you will not know what gifts to get for each other because all that money has gotten you everything you ever want. You'll end up being lazy about even trying anymore. 

Here is a behind the scenes video of what your life will look like after youtube success turns your personal life upside down:






Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Let’s cut to the chase here - are you concerned about her cheating?

Are you concerned that that she will find fame and fortune and leave you behind to jet-set all around the world in private jets with her gazillionaire hollywood producer?

Are you afraid having all these admirers showing her with accolades and gifts and offers that she will basically treat you as disposable and chase after the attention and offerings of other people?

Here’s the thing - all of those things are dependent on her own core character whether she is a Hollywood starlet or a trailer park housewife. 

If she is an entitled, selfish, narcissistic attention w——re that views other people as resources to get her what she wants, then yes, she will probably cheat and dispose of you for other men that will be able to promote her and better provide her what she wants. 

But if that is her core character, she will do that anyway at some point whether it be some dude at the bar or a guy at work or Sven at yoga. 

What you need to determine is whether your concerns are based on her behavior and attitudes and character or whether they are based an unfounded insecurity on your part. 

Has she ever given reason to believe that she will chase fame and fortune and attention and accolades from other people and discard those in her life now? 

Has she ever cheated before?

Does she have a history of ladder-climbing and going from one man to the next as soon as someone else comes along that benefits her immediate wants and desires better at that moment? 

Do rules apply to others but not her? 

Are people just a resource to use to better her position in life and then discarded when they can no longer benefit her?

Those are the indicators of cheaters and walk-away spouses that will discard those in a quest for their own self interests. 

If she is nothing like I described above, then your chances of being discarded in the pursuit of the next bigger, better things are less.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Here is what will happen... Her YouTube channel will grow out of proportion and after monetizing it there will be overwhelming success. Her fans will demand she sing certain types of music that will get millions of views, but this will not be the music she feels the most passionate about. Meanwhile there will be so much money that life gets chaotic. If you want something you buy it! You get to where there is nothing left to want because you have already bought yourself everything. She is singing music she hates because that is what her fans demand. She tries to change but they get upset.
> 
> Come Christmas time you will not know what gifts to get for each other because all that money has gotten you everything you ever want. You'll end up being lazy about even trying anymore.
> 
> ...



OMG i watch two minutes and that is two minutes i will never gain back.....


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Let’s cut to the chase here - are you concerned about her cheating?
> 
> Are you concerned that that she will find fame and fortune and leave you behind to jet-set all around the world in private jets with her gazillionaire hollywood producer?
> 
> ...





hinterdir said:


> If it just singing I don't think I'd care.
> You can disable comments, and is she really going to be reading many of the comments?
> If she started conversing with affectionate male posters then I may intervene and say something about it.



Very good points.


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Let’s cut to the chase here - are you concerned about her cheating?
> 
> Are you concerned that that she will find fame and fortune and leave you behind to jet-set all around the world in private jets with her gazillionaire hollywood producer?
> 
> ...



Very good points


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Lostinthought61 said:


> OMG i watch two minutes and that is two minutes i will never gain back.....


You made it through two minutes???? 😮


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Here is what will happen... Her YouTube channel will grow out of proportion and after monetizing it there will be overwhelming success. Her fans will demand she sing certain types of music that will get millions of views, but this will not be the music she feels the most passionate about. Meanwhile there will be so much money that life gets chaotic. If you want something you buy it! You get to where there is nothing left to want because you have already bought yourself everything. She is singing music she hates because that is what her fans demand. She tries to change but they get upset.
> 
> Come Christmas time you will not know what gifts to get for each other because all that money has gotten you everything you ever want. You'll end up being lazy about even trying anymore.
> 
> ...


Holy moly!!!


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I have the same answer for many things and I think it is relevant here. Trust but verify. Trust your wife until she gives you a reason not to do so. For now, YouTube might just be a fun thing for her to do and that's all it is. However, there is also the chance that she gets addicted to all the attention from these other people and those inappropriate comments start to turn into inappropriate conversations. 

If I were you, I would just keep a close eye on her YouTube channel and see how things go. There is a good chance she just makes a few videos and gives up on it, making the problem go away on its own. If things do get out of hand though, at least you will be aware and able to act.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Somas said:


> Hello everyone, let’s say your wife was a really good singer and she decides to start a you tube channel. Knowing YouTube and knowing that guys from all over the world will see it you know that there are going to be guys saying “you’re so cute” “ I love you” and showing kisses and hearts emoticons from all over the world. What would your opinion be about this? Would you think nothing of it or would it seem as if strangers online are hitting on/flirting with your wife


Let's say that sounds somewhat jealous and controlling?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Also, appear on some videos with her as her faithful, loving spouse.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

We have the same issue with our _Typist._

He starts writing his schmuk and fidgets and waits impatiently for likes and accolades!

We every so often just lock him up in his furnished closet until he settles down.


_The HeadMates-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Also, appear on some videos with her as her faithful, loving spouse.


The best solution!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some folks, not all....

Have this fear that our _Significant Other_ will outgrow our shortcomings, see us as inferior, and leave us as dust, in that unneeded, in their past, space.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

wow...a little insecure there. let her express herself. DON'T read the comments.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> wow...a little insecure there. let her express herself. DON'T read the comments.


Insecure? How so? 

It seems like the OP is just asking for people's opinions/perspectives.

OP is being 'cautious' as I'm guessing he has heard/seen instances where this type of thing begins innocently enough, but can become a drug (i.e. Attention) and have a negative impact on his relationship.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I have seen plenty of ladies go down a dark path because of social media. It generally starts off as something simple, making a few videos/posts because they enjoy it. If a woman is just singing on Youtube, it won't take long before she realizes that very few people actually give AF and care to hear some random girl singing on YouTube. Then, she starts singing in her best outfits to get more likes. It works a little. Then she starts shopping for more revealing clothes for even more likes and that works. One day this might lead to Patreon or an OnlyFans page. 

That's not how it is for most people but it does happen.


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

Hi Enigma good point. I guess it goes back to Conan’s post from earlier on what their core character is and if they listen to that inner voice when something feels wrong?


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> I have seen plenty of ladies go down a dark path because of social media. It generally starts off as something simple, making a few videos/posts because they enjoy it. If a woman is just singing on Youtube, it won't take long before she realizes that very few people actually give AF and care to hear some random girl singing on YouTube. Then, she starts singing in her best outfits to get more likes. It works a little. Then she starts shopping for more revealing clothes for even more likes and that works. One day this might lead to Patreon or an OnlyFans page.
> 
> That's not how it is for most people but it does happen.



Hi Enigma good point. I guess it goes back to Conan’s post from earlier on what their inner character is and if they listen to that inner voice when something feels wrong?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Somas said:


> Hi Enigma good point. I guess it goes back to Conan’s post from earlier on what their inner character is and if they listen to that inner voice when something feels wrong?


I think that sort of thing could happen to many people. I remember I had a friend that was really into pole dancing. She got very good at it and started teaching pole to others. Then she started dancing at clubs with her clothes on, just so she could do what she loved. Then one day she was dancing at a strip club but swore she would never be a prostitute. Then, one day she is working as a fetish provider for her customers at the club. She eventually had sex with some of them for more money.

Attention, validation, and money can be addictive to many people. It's why social media is so popular.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Or as I like to call it, ... antisocial media.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Someone mentioned "insecure" but I think the right word is "realism". One does not need to look far to see how disgusting the music industry can be. I probably would not discourage someone if they have real music talent, but I would have one foot out the door! The truth is you will not know the real quality of your SO until she has been saturated in this little "fame" bit. Some people do quite well, but are usually the ones that were raised VERY right. However, even that can get contorted. Many 'little girls' get started innocent enough, then the power trip starts. 

I am not actually blaming all of this on women because men do the exact same thing! Personally, I probably would not be laying down a 'bunch of rules" and just see what she does. If she just soaks up all the attention like a sponge, and interacts with guys that hit on her, I would raise the flag or step closer to the door. It will be a perfect test of her real character. Sometimes you need to leave that low hanging fruit as a test. 

Some people just cannot get enough of the fame thing, it changes them, they then feel superior and worthy of 'better' and they end up going through relationships like I do my socks.


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## Somas (Sep 10, 2020)

Great feedback and perspective this is very difficult for me but I am sure we will get through this and everything will be fine


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Enigma32 said:


> I think that sort of thing could happen to many people. I remember I had a friend that was really into pole dancing. She got very good at it and started teaching pole to others. Then she started dancing at clubs with her clothes on, just so she could do what she loved. Then one day she was dancing at a strip club but swore she would never be a prostitute. Then, one day she is working as a fetish provider for her customers at the club. She eventually had sex with some of them for more money.
> 
> Attention, validation, and money can be addictive to many people. It's why social media is so popular.


and personal horniness too has a big role.

sure, one way to stay monogamous is to stay away from all temptation. Any sort of human contact, even just an innocent business discussion at work, can turn into a flirting or more session IF the people talking are horny.

It is a strong willed person who admits they are getting turned on, runs home, and satisfies that horniness only with their spouse!


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