# What is it about Facebook that grosses me out? Lol



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I am not that active on it but the odd time I comment on a post I always end up deleting it a few hours later. I find that after I post something that I always get weirded out about others seeing what I wrote then I emd up deleting my comment. For example a friend daughter passed away and in our community this was a well known case and I feel like the majority of the people posting condolences on Facebook r just 
doing it because the case is so public if that makes sense....

I wrote something out posted it and then ended up deleting it and instead sent a personal message.


I don't know how others can post such private stuff either about themselves or others in general on Facebook


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I think Facebook or social media in general just doesn’t fit some people’s personality. I’m like you; I feel strange posting comments knowing that everybody views them. I’m 51, so i lived a big portion of my life without social media and communicating in other more one on one ways. It’s just not my cup of tea.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I think there are a lot of things said on social media, that would have best been said to each other in person, over the phone, or in a card.


----------



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I agree!!! I know people that post every detail about their life..I don't get it!


----------



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Why do people post things to family members such as happy birthday to my son/ daughter ....was there not a time when u would call or say it in person?


----------



## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Social media is pure poison. Zuckerberg should be in jail


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Social media is like a lot of things: good and bad.

Good example: it helped me reconnect with old buddies I hadn't seen or heard of in decades. 

Bad: I knew a married couple that feuded on Facebook for over a year. They would exchange public barbs.
One time she said " me and danny havent been good together in a very long time". This went on for over a year back and forth. All their dirty laundry for the entire world to see. Finally, they did reconcile, again publically.

As for me, I lay low and only 'like' now and then, and almost never post. I like seeing what other people are up to,
But all the political crap flying back and forth every day i could do without. 

I can't stand Zuckerberg either, but he did come up with an arguably good thing.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

It's the ultimate tool of the narcissist. It's also by it's very nature lends itself to tribalism, to the worst in us. For many folks, it's like perpetual high school. That's not to say it can be used in a good way too, to keep contact with people and give news to your social circle. Everything in this world can be used for good or bad.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I've done a couple projects on Facebook for work. The kind that asks "yada yada yada wants permission to...". I understand what the privacy implications are. 

If you keep it simple it has great potential. My entire village in Europe seems to be on Facebook (municipal WiFi ) and I keep up with people I grew up 50 years ago. It's awesome.

Do I post everything about my life? No. About cats, cycling, and my local community (also very active). Food too.

Keep it simple and keep the drama low and it works great. 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I like FB because you can glean a lot about other people. I put up stuff every now and then. And it does simplify contacting people. When I go to London which I 've done a couple of times since we moved to the US, I contact everyone through FB and not through e-mail.


----------



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I find that I am now "friends" with people that I lost contact with but what I noticed is no real effort is made other than just an accept friend button, we are not involved in each others lives plus probably have nothing in common anymore anyway. So often other than a happy birthday post once per year that is about it.

I have some friends that post every pic of their kid, discuss that they didn't sleep good last night, etc. etc....I just find it bizarre.

I am debating leaving it but for some businesses, groups, etc. it is often the only way to obtain information so I am thinking should I just defriend everyone this way I still have access to the info. I need?


----------



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I also ended up unfollowing a friend because her life seemed so great...trips, posing for pics, etc. while mine seemed so boring...LOL!


----------



## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

What's the difference between posting on Facebook and having a TV in your home?

The television is more invasive. 

Or even a smart fridge. 

Those are really creepy!!


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Spicy said:


> I think there are a lot of things said on social media, that would have best been said to each other in person, over the phone, or in a card.


Thank you!

And those vague "you know who you are" passive aggressive posts.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

highwood said:


> Why do people post things to family members such as happy birthday to my son/ daughter ....was there not a time when u would call or say it in person?


My family does both.

I think hating social media is kind of like being proud one has never seen Game of Thrones lol. It's the new hipster counterculture....like 2019 goth.


----------



## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I don’t have too many people on my feed who do the “look how great my life is” thing. Yes people post about their kids’ successes, but they also post about the struggles of daily life like needing to find a tutor for math or whatever. I find it humanizing. And I appreciate the funny memes and videos. I rarely post myself 

You can also unfollow people instead of unfriending them if you don’t like what they post. My husband and I have two mutual “friends” from high school on FB that are total train wrecks. He unfollowed them because he could not stand the drama. I keep them as friends just to follow the drama (which probably doesn’t reflect well on me.)

This one woman...where to start? This saga was all posted on FB in daily detail. She was a SAHM with two early-teen boys. They had a nice house, a nice dog and what looked like a nice life. Then she had an affair with her husband’s brother and left the family. She was very proud of their love and posted about it endlessly (While her kids were friends with her on FB and got to read the whole thing.) Turns out the BIL was a drug addict and she became one too. Then she posted about how the BIL beat her up. Five days later she was living in another state and engaged to her high school boyfriend. Meant to be. Then however many months later she broke it off, moved back to the state her kids live in, went to rehab, met a guy at a meeting and married him two months later. By her 5-10 daily posts they seem happy and sober and she is attempting to reestablish a relationship with her kids that are now grown. Through this whole 5-year ordeal people like her posts and comment encouraging things at every step. I only saw negative comments once and that was when her FOO basically disowned her when her kids asked her to chose them or the BIL. 

It is like a soap opera and I want to know what happens next. There is part of me that knows this is a sad tale of substance abuse/mental illness that has destroyed lives and I should look away. I think I hang on because part of me also feels like I am better than her. “Well at least I didn’t do X”.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

personofinterest said:


> My family does both.
> 
> I think hating social media is kind of like being proud one has never seen Game of Thrones lol. It's the new hipster counterculture....like 2019 goth.


Pretty much.

Thru social media my village organized a collection of thousands of pictures of our village and it's people going back to 1900 or whenever. It's an amazing collection accessible online by the villagers and friends worldwide. 

That's the power of social media. 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I rarely post on Facebook.

We HeadMates have many faces.

....................................................................................................

Some people, especially those that you want to engage with, can only be reached via keyboards, those connected to the Ethernet.

Your worded pixels then are flashed in their face, touching their guarded gardened space.

Your feelings are mingled, with them getting briefly tangled with others delicate typing fingers; if, but for a moment.

Even those that choose to ignore you, rarely so, can do this.

Their eyes may skim over your posts, their hungry minds secretly reading every other word.
Ah, my Elegirl, she is like this. 





[THM]- The Typist I


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

My siblings are happy to see pics of some of the goings on in the family. I like seeing what is going on with the things my friends and family share. But some people don't know when to stop. My Mom was a lawyer before she retired. Socials were so often used to do something very dumb and very public. Not a good thing.


----------



## SecondWind (May 10, 2019)

highwood said:


> I am not that active on it but the odd time I comment on a post I always end up deleting it a few hours later. I find that after I post something that I always get weirded out about others seeing what I wrote then I emd up deleting my comment. For example a friend daughter passed away and in our community this was a well known case and I feel like the majority of the people posting condolences on Facebook r just
> doing it because the case is so public if that makes sense....
> 
> I wrote something out posted it and then ended up deleting it and instead sent a personal message.
> ...


I do the same thing. It feels weird reading personal things about peopled who are only acquaintances and I don't want to cause other people feel wierd reading about me.


----------



## redwingpentagon (Apr 10, 2019)

I don't like face book at all it opens to many doors that should be closed. Its manipulative not a place for free speech. Every one has these perfect profiles and families . I find looking at it has nothing but negative effects one me .


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

highwood said:


> I don't know how others can post such private stuff either about themselves or others in general on Facebook


Many, if not most, people on Facebook keep their timeline private. So the only people reading what they post are those who they consider friends and family. When a timeline is private, it's like a conversation with those who are close to you. 

That said, I don't like Facebook either. I've gotten to the point where is post almost nothing on there. Most of the people I know don't use it much either.


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

I closed my account 4 years ago, and have not regretted it once since. Just another distraction.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I've stopped posting on my timeline, and I've taken photos down and made everything as private as it can be. I've also pretty much unfollowed everyone.

For me, it's worth is in the groups, and I appreciate those.

Having said that, the complaining is astronomical, and every other person is being abused by a narcissist.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I’m on there though I don’t post very much. I like to see what my family posts, pictures and updates. If any of them start posting a bunch of political crap or other nonsense I just stop following them so I don’t see it in my feed.

I belong to a bunch of groups and since they are only the groups I choose I like the posts, information, pictures and so forth. 

There is one situation there which I wish I could figure out to get through to someone.

I found a letter my father wrote to my brother and I in 1977. In the letter, he told us about a train ride he took for 8 hours and on the ride he sat by a nice young woman and they had a nice conversation. When they got off the train she asked him if he would like to go with her family and see their part of the city. He said sure and went with her where her father and uncle picked her up. They welcomed him and took him around the city and he detailed all of it for us including how wonderful the whole family was. He gave her full name in the letter and the names of her father, brothers, sisters and uncles. 

After I found the letter I wondered if maybe I could find her on Facebook. Sure enough, I did find her! Complete with where she went to college which confirmed what he said in the letter also.

I reached out to her because I wanted to send her pics of this letter as it was a very sweet sentiment and was so complimentary of her and her whole family. I was sure she would remember my father as he was quite the character and they ended up spending 2 days together. I also wanted to thank her for being so kind to him.

She did not respond to the message. I also sent her a friend request but that went nowhere either.

I can’t blame her as I am a total stranger and she has no reason to open the message or accept the friend request. She also just may not even log in and never saw it.

I may try again just in case somehow I can get through. I know she would love to see this letter, it was so sweet and he was so expressive about how kind they all had been to him.


----------



## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Over a decade ago I toyed with the idea of starting a Facebook page.

Went over the privacy policy.

Nope, never gonna happen.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> Many, if not most, people on Facebook keep their timeline private. So the only people reading what they post are those who they consider friends and family. When a timeline is private, it's like a conversation with those who are close to you.
> 
> That said, I don't like Facebook either. I've gotten to the point where is post almost nothing on there. Most of the people I know don't use it much either.


I'm fairly sure your private conversations, photos, and videos aren't actually private at all, and is in fact a transfer of IP rights from you to Facebook when you post:


> For content that is covered by intellectual property rights, like photos and videos (IP content), you specifically give us the following permission, subject to your privacy and application settings: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook (IP License). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it.


Facebook sells it all to those that will pay for it, and their "security" is more like a wet paper towel than a locked door. There may be restrictions of what you can see in one facebook account from another facebook account, but if someone buys your data, then they get it all, and you agreed to it.

Just fair warning.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I have never used any social media but from everything I have seen it amazes me that anyone uses Facebook


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I deleted Facebook a long time ago and haven’t looked back since. You can complain all you want about what people post and whatnot but you are on Facebook reading these things so you aren’t any better then they are.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Marduk said:


> I'm fairly sure your private conversations, photos, and videos aren't actually private at all, and is in fact a transfer of IP rights from you to Facebook when you post:
> 
> 
> Facebook sells it all to those that will pay for it, and their "security" is more like a wet paper towel than a locked door. There may be restrictions of what you can see in one facebook account from another facebook account, but if someone buys your data, then they get it all, and you agreed to it.
> ...


We all know that Facebook is used to mine everyone's personal data and then they sell it. 

However, you seem to have missed my point. 

When a person makes their timeline private, only those who are "friends" can see the posts when they are on Facebook.


----------



## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> We all know that Facebook is used to mine everyone's personal data and then they sell it.
> 
> However, you seem to have missed my point.
> 
> When a person makes their timeline private, only those who are "friends" can see the posts when they are on Facebook.


It's been a few years, but a few times I've demonstrated to friends how to view their private/friend only posts while not even logged into facebook at all. For example, google for a while cached everything on facebook, if you knew how to get it to give it to you.

That's all I'm saying. It's "privateish".


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Don't forget to sign just about every one of the posts in this conversation with a hearty "Get off my lawn!".


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I love Facebook. what an easy to get to know what someone is about.

A long time ago on another relationship message board (yes, I'm addict) warned on the site about how taking quizzes would expose you and your friends. And now we know, this unknown was right.

I like the fact that you never where you're going to get the next piece of wisdom.

I did do a couple of key strokes on one or two quizzes as they pedantically asked for permission after permission. I decided this poster was right.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I love Facebook. what an easy to get to know what someone is about.
> 
> A long time ago on another relationship message board (yes, I'm addict) warned on the site about how taking quizzes would expose you and your friends. And now we know, this unknown was right.
> 
> ...


What is even worse is that some of them are mining your answers to try to get info they can use to break into your bank and other accounts. When they ask for your middle name and cat’s name, these are things a lot of people use for their security questions. And then of course they want your birthday too, which is also for financial info mining.


----------



## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

highwood said:


> Why do people post things to family members such as happy birthday to my son/ daughter ....was there not a time when u would call or say it in person?


Haha! Exactly! I noticed last year that mutual friends wished my daughter a Happy Birthday, but I didn't! I don't care if it looks bad to busybodies. I didn't wish her HB on FB because I told her in person when she came over to the house to celebrate with us. And although I took pictures, I didn't post them on FB because the important people were at the party!!

I hate FB. I use it to save good recipes, and to join groups that are interesting.


----------

