# My husband's financial mess has made me CRAZy!!!



## mjb33 (Oct 2, 2011)

We've been married for almost 3 years. When we met, he seemed ok financially. He rented a small house, had older vehicles, and pretty much seemed to have what he needed. He had worked almost 20 years at the same company and was able to take a 3 month lay-off yearly to go work in construction as a self-contractor for extra really good money. We got married in November 08, by January 09, he had quit his job at the factory (without consulting me 1st) and I was pregnant with our son. By Feb that year, his bike had been repossessed, and he had taken more that $10,000 in personal loans from friends, family, and loan shark institutions (cash express)...by April, a child support suit had been filed and by September, the state had taken his drivers liceanse. He continually makes big financial desisions without talking to me about them and then gets mad and turns it into my fault when I mention his talking to me 1st? What can I do? I am going crazy here??????


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## jas256 (Oct 3, 2011)

You are NOT crazy! I feel your pain. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. She stays at home with our 10 month old daughter (which I agreed to as well). However, even when she worked full-time, she never had any money. She spends what's in her wallet. We have a joint account, but consults me before spending any money - budget process.

My wife says she doesn't want anything to do with the finances, until she doesn't have any spending money! Drives me crazy!

I feel like I can't win to save my life. She yells at me and takes out all of her frustrations and hurt from her own family on me. I say nothing and do nothing right.

She always says she's going to "change" and not spend money, but it never happens. I have ways to keep us in the black, so I don't care anymore. if there's nothing there, there's nothing there. 

It's tough - I can understand money problems if he was trying to hide money from you AND him to save for future, but irresponsibility and laziness is unacceptable.


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## sad wife (Aug 19, 2011)

mjb33... I am in a very similar situation. I am sick over it and very very bitter. My thing is now my husband has terrible credit, which i found out AFTER we got married. Hes self employed now.. has barley any money to survive on week to week. I have tried to help him with ideas on how he can save money but... he'd rather waste it and let it cause us marital problems.

I read the marriage vows today in the bible. It broke my heart! For better for worse, for "rich or for poor". Somewhere in that clause it should say unless our spouse betrayed us and hid finanical difficulties. I want my marriage to work but I want my husband to be my provider ever once in awhile. I can take care of myself and children but it would be nice to know that he "wanted" to take care of me. 

When I married the second time around I was hoping it was my last and would last forever, but I am thinking, I had a sign on my back that said "screw me"!!! and the rest is history.. im getting screwed unless I walk away. 

Now thats where its catchy. If I walked away today, could he capture half of everything I own and worked for all my life before he came in my life? My attorney says..... "maybe"! So do I walk or do I live crazy.


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