# Addicts or just cheaters?



## ItsGonnabeAlright

I am starting to think there is no such thing as sexual addiction. Isn't it possible that some people just have higher sex drives than others and will satisfy their needs no matter what the cost?
If I drink coffee every morning, and feel that I get irritable or something without it, does that make me a coffee addict?
If I was told to stop drinking coffee by a doctor but did it anyways, would I be an extreme addict who does not care for myself or others?
If someone wants to watch movies all day and then they start to skip out on work and going to some events because they just want to sit around and watch tv, are they really a tv addict? Or simply someone who has become lazy and feels no need to get their ass off the couch? 

Of course if the term tv addict existed, many would say that is their problem. Are we giving these cheaters a crutch? A reason to say, this wasn't my fault, I was addicted. Why doesn't anyone ever get addicted to being honest with their family?, or become extremely faithful?, Are polygamists also sex addicts? Where do we draw the line, between an actual addiction and an excuse? 

What about mercy killers?, should they not be seen as killers simply because they had good intentions?

The so called, sex addict, didn't mean to harm anyone, they couldn't control themselves, and at the same time felt so guilty that they covered up their mess each time, willingly lie,etc. Is it possible they are just people who want to have their cake and eat it too?

What makes them less cheater, and more 'addict'? 
Why can't some people simply be promiscuous cheaters who lie to get what they want? Sort of a sexual go-getter with no regard to the emotions of others.


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## EleGirl

How much have you read up on sexual addiction?

They start calling it an addiction when the pursuit of sex interferes with most or all aspects of a person's life. Some lose their jobs because they are cruising from one spot for sex to the next all day long. There is no relationship involved with the people they are having sex with.

Most cheaters tend to have a relation with the person they are having sex with and are not cruising the streets, parks, bathroom, sleazy sex stores, etc tor sex.


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## EleGirl

Not all people who have the problem that is defined as 'sexual addiction' are cheaters. Many are single.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright

I've actually read a lot on the subject. I can't make heads or tails of it. I think we are too quick to label many people as 'addicts' when in reality, they just want to sleep around. 
I feel that there is no way to know if the people we label as addicts are simply taking advantage of the label.


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## Jamison

Some people are just cheaters plain and simple, something is wrong somewhere in their thought process and the way they feel about themselves. 

Then there are actual addictions, of all kinds. Hard to say who has a actual addiction who just cheats because they can. Bottom line, its all in what you will and will not tolerate.


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## Runs like Dog

The new DSM maintains there is no such thing as sex addiction.


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## Hope1964

My husband is a sex addict. Actually, the DSMMD does not say there is no such thing. It just doesn't say there is yet. Just because it isn't 'official' doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's a label that has enabled many to get the help they desperately need. There are 5 step groups for it and certified therapists for it.

As with any addict, a sex addict can either be in recovery and 'sober', or not. If they're not, then sure, they use the label as an excuse. Recovering, 'sober' addicts do not.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright

The next DSM is actually going to be borderline ridiculous, as some have asked, where do you draw the line? Will being too nice, be some sort of syndrome or disorder soon? Some things can't be helped. They are just part of people, and it will forever be in their nature. Just like some people can't see chocolate without putting it in their mouths, some humans are addicted to doing certain things with others. Some will use the term of sex addict to their benefit, the same way some people plead insanity, because it works.


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## confusedFather

There's no such thing as a sex addict. Would they cheat if you were there? No, they'd find the will power to not do it when faced with absolute certainty of being caught. If they think they can get away with it they make the *choice* to cheat.


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## Runs like Dog

The DSM also scratched Asperger's from the list. Well there goes a whole generation of 'special'.


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## Jamison

IMO I believe there are such things as true addictions, and yes there are some people who are not addicted they just make poor choices over and over again, probably for various reasons. One they may be a person who will never learn from continual mistakes. That right there is a problem within its self. 

Bottom line, its not so much about the person who may or may not be addicted, its more about why the other person chooses to stay in a unhealthy or toxic situation, that is also a choice.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright

Once the money is gone, the looks are gone and so are the women/men who live off of them in the streets, such as the hookers, strippers, etc. This magical addiction disappears. Too little, too late. 

Sometimes I think I am an oxygen addict, lol


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