# Handfasting and Pagan Marriages



## snix11

Since this is the religion and spirituality place to be, as I was so graciously reminded....

Does anyone here have experience with handfasting? How did it work for you or for someone you know?

We have looked at the pagan marriage rituals and most of them include a handfasting element. As we have already been together three years, I think it would be an interesting experiment.

I really like some of the pagan vows and promises. 

*(Note: For those not familiar with the term "Pagan", it is distinguished from the term "heathen". "Heathen" refers to anyone who is not the same religion as you. So a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu etc. - all could call each other a "heathen".* 

*The term "Pagan" refers to European religions that pre-date Christianity - so "Pagan" is considered a religion and those who practice such religion - call themselves "Pagans".*


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## T-Dub

I am not familiar with this.


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## snix11

well that was helpful T-dub. what are you familiar with?


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## GAsoccerman

Here you go...

Handfasting Info - Pagan Weddings, Celtic Ceremonies, Wiccan Marriage and more.

Celtic/Neopagan handfasting



Originally a Celtic tradition, Pagans were often referred to the Irish by the british "back in the day" when the church of England was spreading it's wings.

This was a marriage "contract" and often involve tieing rope or clothe around a couples hands for a ceramony and then sexual intercourse followed later...kind of like your original marriage ceremony, just no priest, just a local official.


hope this helps


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## snix11

thanks soccerman. I knew that part, but was looking for anyone with experience in it - how did it work for them?

Non-traditional alternatives to xtian marriages


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## GAsoccerman

I would imagine you would have more luck on a celtic board or a Board that deals in medieval times, etc.


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## snix11

Well, most people here are xtian... and I don't see them going to a medieval times "god" board... How relevant is a 1300's wedding ceremony to what people do today?

How to Cook Medieval - Medieval & Renaissance Wedding Feasts


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## voivod

what is "xtian"???


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## snix11

xtian like xmas is christian... they say it alot in texas for some reason


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## Deejo

My open marriage bisexual friends, who of course are still happily married after 15 years (to my knowledge) had a pagan wedding, including the hand-fasting ceremony.
And yep, it was done in full medieval garb, out in the great wide open of a state park. 
Without a doubt, it was one of the most memorable weddings I have attended. As we say in Massachusetts, "It was wicked bizzah." 
The ceremony itself was lovely. The handfasting was cool, and each recited their own written vows to the other ... none of this 'repeat after me' stuff.


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## snix11

that sounds perfect Deejo, thanks


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## Deejo

I should also throw in that we had friends have a traditional ceremony, gown, tux, and minister, but they incorporated hand-fasting into their exchange of vows.


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## snix11

interesting... so many ways to commit


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## Mpulse

snix11 said:


> interesting... so many ways to commit


And EVERYONE loves to be committed


M


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## marina72

snix,,, handfasting is actually part of a Christian sacrament called marriage, most likely originated from celtic traditions as did many traditions in the christian religion. I have personal experience with this, as I am Episcopalian (Christian) and at my marriage ceremony, at my church, our priest did the handfasting ceremony, after the vows...it simply has a symbolic meaning, that two have become one.... he wrapped my husbands and mine hand, in his robe scarf, and then said a blessing.... that's the experience I have with it.


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## marina72

Yes, you're right it is pretty much the same meaning, just with different materials. It was really neat, and he and I both really enjoyed it. It was neat to have it included too, since we are both of celtic ancestory. I didn't realize till talking to our priest , just how many people include the handfasting and unity candle in their ceremonies. It's a very popular thing, probably because it's so intimate like you said.


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## voivod

snix11 said:


> xtian like xmas is christian... they say it alot in texas for some reason


te-Christ-as???


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## JadedSarah

first off hand fasting is and was a pagan tradition that was incorporated into Christianity, kinda like Christmas at yule even though Jesus was born in the spring, and eggs and bunnies at Easter. I can show you tons of examples of this, but thats neither here nor there. 

The wedding ceremony is about your commitment to each other and pledging yourself to the other. The red cord that is often used symbolizes this commitment of your love visually. I have had friends that incorporated it into that standard civil ceremony so that it just seemed like the end cap to the ceremony. Both say i do, get wrists wrapped in cord together while the officiant says how this cord symbolizes your bond to each other, and then declares you man and wife. That seems to be the most common form of handfasting now a days because it does not make anyone feel uncomfortable at your ceremony but still allows you to incorporate your beliefs and cultures into it.


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## JDPreacher

The last wedding I performed had hand fasting and it was a debacle only because there were too many people tying...and very out of order.

They can be a very neat part of the cerermony if you keep it brief and you know what to do. The preacher ties first then the parents and there can be more in order of inportance but I would try and limit to maybe five people. And then the bride and groom do the final cord.

I wrote the ceremony for this wedding as well...

Preacher


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## HappyAtLast

Before my H and I separated, we had often talked about how cool it would be (if we had the $$$) to go over to Scotland-since we both have a lot of ancestors from there-stay in a castle,and renew our vows with a handfasting ceremony. Yes, it's a very, very old Celtic tradition.


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## IanIronwood

snix11 said:


> Since this is the religion and spirituality place to be, as I was so graciously reminded....
> 
> Does anyone here have experience with handfasting? How did it work for you or for someone you know?
> 
> We have looked at the pagan marriage rituals and most of them include a handfasting element. As we have already been together three years, I think it would be an interesting experiment.
> 
> I really like some of the pagan vows and promises.
> 
> *(Note: For those not familiar with the term "Pagan", it is distinguished from the term "heathen". "Heathen" refers to anyone who is not the same religion as you. So a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu etc. - all could call each other a "heathen".*
> 
> *The term "Pagan" refers to European religions that pre-date Christianity - so "Pagan" is considered a religion and those who practice such religion - call themselves "Pagans".*



I'm an ordained Pagan priest (Druid, Wicca, etc.) and have done nine official weddings and a dozen or so handfastings. I wouldn't say one is better or more secure than the other -- it depends on the people -- but I will say that Handfastings are fare more versatile and flexible to changing living conditions. 

But the parties tend to be pretty good, afterwards. Lots of mead.


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