# HiRoads christmas suprise, this is good!



## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

Ok needless to say my christmas was full of suprises, in order to fully understand i will walk you through the last four days:

12/23 - usually my day with the kids, but STBXW wanted to p/u the kids early to have a xmas with FIL and family early (since i have the emas eve and xmas morn). We see each other on the kid exchange, chat a bit about $$ and kids, not much to disucss there.

12/24 - I p/u kids at 8pm to go to my familys house, lots of us there about 30. My STBXW bought some gifts for her neice (my brothers kid) and a gift for me and my mom. I can tell she did this last minute b/c the gift for my niece is not wrapped she just hands it to me and says she did not have time to wrap it. Gives my my gift, which is folded in tissue paper, and a gift for my mom which is folded in tissue paper in a bag. both my mom and I is a pic of the kids. I call her on the drive home to tell her thanks, i can tell she is upset, we chat a bit, i ask if she is ok, she is clearly fighting emotions and says yes. She tells me that her mom is out of town for xmas say and she will be by herself, wierd.

12/25 - Kids has a great time opening gifts from santa (kids are 3 & 1.5). I text STBXW a pic of the kids opening gifts w/ merry xmas love boys. No response. My mom sends a text to say thank you for the gift, she responds merry christmas. I call STBXW later in the am to arrange a drop for her to see them. She tells me that she does not need them until later that night for dinner. I ask if she is ok, and she says she is fine i dont need to worry aobut her. Ok, so i take the kids to another family dinner, of course had a great time.

Here is where is gets juicy.

I text STBXW, about when she wants kiddos 1/2hr later she repsonds 'whenver is good for you', i say it is up to her. By this time an hour has lapsed. We agree to meet at 630 xmas night. I show up in at our meeting spot, wait 20min, no sign of her. I call she says she is coming. 15mn later she shows up, eyes blood shot, smells of alcohol. I ask if she has been drinking, she does not repsond. I persist, and tell her if you want me to drive the kids to her moms house i can. She denies. I persist, and say i dont feel comfortable her driving the kids. Keep in mind it was dark and stormy too. She finally unloads kids and loads them back into my car and tells me just follow me to her unlces house.

Ok, so i start to follow her. She calls and starts to defend herself. A discussion ensues, and she finally admits to having "1 beer before she left"!!!!! Wow, i am shocked, 1 beer = 4 or 5 drinks, ive seen enuff Cops episodes. I utlimately take the boys back to my house. She goes, whereever. She freaks out and starts calling everyone, my mom, her sister calls me, etc. Her sister and i talk for 10 min, good convo, i tell her what happened and she agress with me.

12/26 - We talk about divorce stuff, i ask her one last time (for myself) if this is REALLY what she wants? I know, I know, i slipped. So another convo ensues, she finally admits that she has been "going out on dates"!!!! The truth finally comes out, 3.5mnths into out separation and ultimate divorce. It all makes sense, now. I tell her that, it all makes sense, and of course she denies that she ever cheated, and says "i just started dating". I tell her good luck and i hope everything works out. She starts to ask why i care we are seperated, i tell her Right we are separated, and if i were in her shoes i would date too, good luck. 

I am am officially done with her A$$. I was really taking the bulk of the blame for the failed M, as she blamed me for everything. But now i can see it was her who messed everything up, i can ride off into the sunset with my kids knowing it was not me, she is jsut F's up in the head. pheeew.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

HiRoad said:


> I was really taking the bulk of the blame for the failed M, as she blamed me for everything. But now i can see it was her who messed everything up, i can ride off into the sunset with my kids knowing it was not me, she is jsut F's up in the head. pheeew.


Just because they are f'd in the head doesn't mean we are faultless though. Definitely not bulk of the blame, not even 50/50, but we must be responsible for what we have done if we do not want to repeat patterns.


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

I was not perfect, but i did provide her a good life. M is peaks and valleys, we were def. in a valley. still does not justify her actions.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Absolutely does not justify her actions. She gave up when it got rough and ran away. You clearly didn't or you wouldn't be here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

I pulled a Conrad and told her that " i was not ok with her bring the kids around the new man" I told her that i dont know him and he could have a record or be a registered sex offender.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

HiRoad said:


> I pulled a Conrad and told her that " i was not ok with her bring the kids around the new man" I told her that i dont know him and he could have a record or be a registered sex offender.


Papers for D w/kids in my state have a form both must sign promising not to bring that type of person around the kids without consent from the other party.


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

zillard said:


> Papers for D w/kids in my state have a form both must sign promising not to bring that type of person around the kids without consent from the other party.


thats good to know, i wonder if Ca. has that form.


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

today she is scambling trying to call my side of the family to save face! so nice to watch her squirm!


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

HiRoad said:


> thats good to know, i wonder if Ca. has that form.


Here's the text from the AZ form. You could always add something like this in as a provision if CA has nothing like it. 

According to A.R.S. §25-403.05, a child’s parent or custodian must immediately notify the other parent or custodian if the person knows that a convicted or registered sex offender or someone who has been convicted of a dangerous against children may have access to the child.

According to A.R.S. §13-705 (P) (1), “Dangerous crime against children” means any of the following that is committed against a minor who is under fifteen years of age:
(a) Second degree murder.
(b) Aggravated assault resulting in serious physical injury or involving the discharge, use or threatening exhibit on of a deadly weapon or dangerous instrument.
(c) Sexual assault.
(d) Molestation of a child.
(e) Sexual conduct with a minor.
(f) Commercial sexual exploitation of a minor.
(g) Sexual exploitation of a minor.
(h) Child abuse as prescribed in section 13-3623, subsection A, paragraph 1.
(i) Kidnapping.
(j) Sexual abuse.
(k) Taking a child for the purpose of prostitution as prescribed in section 13-3206.
(l) Child prostitution as prescribed in section 13-3212.
(m) Involving or using minors in drug offenses.
 Continuous sexual abuse of a child.
(o) Attempted first degree murder.
(p) Sex trafficking.
(q) Manufacturing methamphetamine under circumstances that causes physical injury to a minor.
(r) Bestiality as prescribed in section 13-1411, subsection A, paragraph 2.
(s) Luring a minor for sexual exploitation.
(t) Aggravated luring a minor for sexual exploitation.
(u) Unlawful age misrepresentation.

The parent or custodian must provide notice by first class mail, return receipt requested, by electronic means to an electronic mail address that the recipient provided to the parent or custodian for notification purposes or by another form of communication accepted by the court.

I/We have read, understand, and agree to abide by the requirements of A.R.S. §25-403.05(B) concerning notification of other parent or custodian if someone convicted of dangerous crime against children may have access to the child.


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## HiRoad (Oct 22, 2012)

This is good, i found Califnornia statutes 3030 that discusses similar items. I will indlude this into our child agreement. Thanks for the heads up. This is great!!


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