# stuck



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

my husband and I are separating soon, I know he has moved on and the marriage just on the rocks, why can't I seem to let go of the "Hope" I guess I will call it......There is nothing I can do about the situation and he seems set in his mind.......I want to act with integrity and dignity through this but just seem to do the same, a lot of crying I feel like I'm going in circles.....I don't have a lot of family or friends so the fact that I'm pretty much alone in this is hard......he is really dragging his ass telling his family I don't know why.....he must be embarrassed because of the PA he doesn't seem to want to have that be part of his story......I've given him a dead line so I can get my support system in place, so far i have been protecting him and her I guess giving him time, but It's been 10 days now, enough is enough......how do you let go it's so hard for me.......


----------



## Figs (Dec 2, 2009)

im telling you right now, there is no quick fix. keep coming on here and writing what you feel, it has definetly helped me, so far. there is always someone on hear who is willing to give advice and listen. dont loose hope just yet, good luck!


----------



## mchllecat (Dec 4, 2009)

sorry for your loss,I only wanted to tell youyou to try your best to let go,let him tell his family or if you are called and they ask for him ,just say he is not home and give number where he is,being polite is all you need to do, You have to realize your not a part of his life any more thats his business, I read some articles a while ago about why women stay with losers and such,and there is scientific proof that Our Brain chemistry is altered when you love someone,and your brains actually become synced,so its No wonder when you lose someone you love through death or divorce you feel "withdrawal" like symptoms,kind of like being addicted to a drug,thats what love is like.So just think of it that way,not the life together that could of been,thats just unhelpful.Take baby steps,one day at a time and realize it's not just you,its your hormones and brain chemistry working against you,But cheer up ,old as the hills this saying I am about to say is, Time does Heal all wounds,screw him in other words,take it day by day It will get easier!Good Luck


----------



## deanbert74 (Dec 9, 2009)

I'm a 'Hope' person too. You don't want to give it up, sometimes its all you have to hold on to. By telling his family, its real, he can't really take it back without looking bad if he chooses to stay. From what you have said, it sounds like he can't commit to ending it. I'm going through something similar, my husband says he wants out, but is talking about doing home inprovements? What? I have to hold on to hope at this point, its keeping me sane and functioning. I still believe in marriage, I cant become hopeless, and I hope you won't either.


----------

