# Does Being Upset About My Marriage



## Confused76 (Sep 17, 2007)

make me bipolar??? my husband tends to think so. i am an emotional person when it comes to fighting. my parents fought all thru my growing up and are still unhappily married. i have tried to explain to my husband about my unhappiness with the marriage and his kids. I never felt like his wife and now we have a child together, still feel like we're 2nd in his life. the stupid marriage counselor put ideas in his head thinking that i anm "clinically depressed" since i cried every time in therapy. Hello,,,,,,,,,i am upset that our marriage is on the rocks. can't i be upset about that??? so then she says last week, maybe your counselor didn't diagnose you correctly?? WTH. what a jerk. i do not have these ups and downs. i am normally an up beat person. so, thne he talks to his own therapist and confronts me last night and asks if i could be bipolar??? i take anti-dep b/c of my moods after the baby and from changing jobs and coping, but wasn't on them for years as my husband thinks. Damn him


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

LOL come down and back up.

Your husband is atleast looking to fix something even if he is doing it all wrong by shifting the ork and blame to you.

You might be depressed. But not from chemical imbalance rather social interaction.

draconis


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## evenow (Oct 15, 2007)

I agree with draconis. How convenient for him that you are clinically depressed/bi polar.  

Maybe you can turn it around. "I'm working on my issues. What did the counselor have to say about you? Do you need any support on anything?"


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

Confused76 said:


> make me bipolar??? my husband tends to think so.
> 
> ...the stupid marriage counselor put ideas in his head thinking that i anm "clinically depressed" since i cried every time in therapy.
> 
> ...



I am sorry that you are being classified Bi-polar or Depressed just because you cry at matters that have you upset. ((( hugs ))) 

Could it possibly be that you are FEMALE? - therefore you will tend to be emotional as it is just part of who you are... and as a female you will cry at things that upsets you or weighs heavy upon the heart (let alone it be a problem in our marraige).

Before I would declare Bi-polar on any female that is having mood swings - I would suggest talking to your prmary doctor about PMS or PMDD.... take notice if your upsets are more intense during the days before during or right after your monthly cycle (I take Celexa for these times).


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## Delphi (Nov 28, 2007)

I think some men have a hard time dealing with female 'emotions'. And some people confuse clinical depression with the normal sadness, frustration and upsets that life dumps on us.

Try talking to him when you are calm. In fact learning how to relax, manage stress and meditate might be more beneficial than therapy.


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## azaleaeight (Dec 28, 2007)

I know what its like to have "certain people" think you have a mental condition because you get upset when getting upset is actually the normal thing to do.

In fairness to your husband, though, if you're taking anti-depressants there's at least the chance he thinks you've been incorrectly diagnosed, and that they aren't doing any good.

Not long ago there was a news report about the number of people who are "just unhappy" because of things in their life but who get put on anti-depressants. If you have "issues" in the marriage maybe that's what has made you feel "depressed" - so maybe you need to talk to a counselor and/or your husband about those external things; and figure out if you're really clinically depressed at all.


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## berlinlife06 (Dec 26, 2007)

Well... I´d say consult a professional, and don´t pay attantion to your husband! He is looking to put the blame on you! And I don´t think the problem is there!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

A marriage counselor is not qualified to give you a professional opinion. It is like seeing a dietian about a possible broken finger.

draconis


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## maplechic (Mar 21, 2009)

Speaking as a person who happens to be bipolar I can tell you that you dont have to get upset and have mood changes to be bipolar or depressed- I am bipolar but dont always act that way. I have feelings, sure I do get upset at some things but I am not one for drama- but like anyone sometimes my husband does make me mad or upset and I apologize when I overact- he understands not only because he loves me but because he suffers too, he has more issues in the emotional/mental dept which he is working out- I am still working on fully understanding him- sometimes he acts or says things I dont know why he says or does it. We have realized we have to increase our prayers and study together. For us this is important, - as we have been very much forgetful and this is part of the reason our closeness has waivered but not too far. You dont have to be religous though finding "the basics" which work for you and your spouse, things you do together to be close, is what is needed. We are both human though and anyone who tacks on depression or bipolar to you with out a true medical assessment ( and that is only if you needed one), is just being judgemental and they dkw what they are talking about - looking for an excuse which isnt the answer. Even if you did have one of these it doesnt mean you are always mopey or over emotional.


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