# Any success stories of anyone that gotten married fast?



## cloudkicker

I would love to hear any success stories of any of you couples that went against the consensus and got married after only a short period of time of dating.

Feel free to link your thread if you made a story already and don't want to write it out again =P


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## LovesHerMan

My husband and I knew each other for only 4 months before we got married, and our marriage has lasted for 35 years, 36 next month.

We tied the knot after such a short time because he was starting his active duty career in the Navy after graduating college with the ROTC program. I had to decide if I wanted to have a long distance relationship with him, or take the plunge and get married. The Navy sent him to Pensacola, FL for flight training, and I lived and worked in Illinois at the time.

We were very much in love when we got married, but we really did not know each other as well as we should have due to our very short courtship. After we had been married for a few months, he first exhibited his volatile temper. Our older model car broke down, and he had a melt-down over not having the money to fix it. We borrowed money from my parents, and he later apologized for losing it over a common-place issue. I did not have any experience with temper tantrums, and I was frightened that he might someday hit me in anger. 

Not once during our courtship did he ever exhibit his temper. People are on their best behavior during the initial dating period, and we had never faced any stressful situations together. 

I am very lucky that his temper is limited to verbal explosions, and that he has never raised a hand to me or to our children. He gets over his anger very quickly, and I have learned to leave him alone until the blind rage dissipates. He has also never called me names or belittled me in anger.

As several posters commented in your other thread, it is very important to see your beloved in many different situations, to see how they react to stress, and to see how you two will handle the inevitable disagreements that occur in relationships.

I do not recommend getting married without knowing someone for 1-2 years. When you are first dating it is so easy to overlook red flags because the dopamine and serotonin brain chemicals of new love can cloud your judgment. I did find a good man, but I could have very easily have been a battered wife since I discovered his temper after we were married.

While the short courtship did work out for us, I think that you would be wise to wait and make sure that you two are truly compatible. Only time will reveal if you have chosen your partner wisely. Do not gamble on such an important decision in your life.


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## Convection

LovesHerMan said:


> While the short courtship did work out for us, I think that you would be wise to wait and make sure that you two are truly compatible. Only time will reveal if you have chosen your partner wisely. Do not gamble on such an important decision in your life.


Yes, this. Very wise.

My wife and I knew each other for four months before she moved in, and we got married 18 months later - and as LHM pointed out, you see things later that you don't see in the very first part of courtship, when both parties are on their best behavior. We both did some things post-move in that had the other going, "WTF?"

I think about my parents who knew each other for seven years from high school to the other side of college, and who dated off and on before they got more serious and finally married. They have been together 43 years and are still happy. They both also watched the other mature from high school kid to a post-college adult with a job and knew exactly what they were getting in the other one.

Living together isn't as binding as marriage but we never looked at it that way. My wife and I made it but I attribute that to equal parts dumb luck and blind stubborness on our parts; we were going to make it work if it killed us, and it nearly did a few times early on. We were lucky that it was never anything we couldn't overcome.; few people would stomach that approach and I wouldn't recommend it.


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## LovesHerMan

Romantic_guy has been married for 41 years, and his relationship started with a high school pregnancy. You might PM him and see if he will contribute his story here. They are both still very much in love.


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## romantic_guy

Ok...I will! Yes, that's right. We met in September 1971, had sex for the first time (we were both virgins) sometime in February of 1972, she got pregnant in March, and we were married July 15, 1972. We will celebrate 41 years this July. I has not all been "wedded bliss." There were many times that we were not in love...and times that we were not even "in like." I guess because of our faith and the fact that divorce was an epidemic in our families, we were determined to make it. We read many books together, learned about each other and each other's needs, went to counseling, and our relationship is better today than ever. 

I don't mind sharing anything about our marriage. If you want to know more, just ask.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My husband and I were married 1 year after meeting. We engaged 6 months after meeting also.

We've both been married before and both knew what we wanted out of our marriage. We talked and agreed about what was most important to us. We've been happily married 13 years now. I know it's not that long, but both my husband and I have no plans of ever exiting our union together. We are highly compatible and can easily compromise on everything.


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## Caribbean Man

My wife and I were married just one year after getting together.
But we knew each other as " just friends" before.
Never did anything physical when we were friends.
Been married 18 yrs now.


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## firefly789

My parents met at a roller skating rink on a Saturday. They were married 3 weeks later. Their marriage lasted 48 years, until my mom passed away. I guess that could be considered a success.

However, I wouldn't consider it a happy marriage. Lots of turmoil for my mom. I think they made the marriage last so long by sheer grit. However, it was not a pleasant childhood. Many times I heard that they were separating. They even made us pick sides one time. My brother couldn't decide because he felt bad for my dad since both I and my sister were going with my mom. That was the last time they did that since they felt guilty after watching my brother's turmoil. I still wish they had just divorced. My dad was not a very nice person.

I dated my H for two years before marriage. We've been married 24 years.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My parents married just a few weeks after meeting each other. My dad proposed on the second date. They've been going strong for 45 years. They are truly meant for each other.


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## unbelievable

My oldest brother met my SIL by accident at a church function. They were both ignorant kids and were engaged within a week and married about a month later. Nobody on earth would have given them a snowball's chance in hell. That's been about 35 years ago and they still are all goo goo for each other like a couple of 16 year olds.


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## betulanana

romantic_guy said:


> Ok...I will! Yes, that's right. We met in September 1971, had sex for the first time (we were both virgins) sometime in February of 1972, she got pregnant in March, and we were married July 15, 1972. We will celebrate 41 years this July. I has not all been "wedded bliss." There were many times that we were not in love...and times that we were not even "in like." I guess because of our faith and the fact that divorce was an epidemic in our families, we were determined to make it. We read many books together, learned about each other and each other's needs, went to counseling, and our relationship is better today than ever.
> 
> I don't mind sharing anything about our marriage. If you want to know more, just ask.


I just loved to read that. Like you guys we got married because I was pregnant. We did not plan to marry until we found out, neither did we plan to have a child.

Our little man is ten month old now. I would love to hear any advice or encouragement you would have to a young couple in our situation. Like I said in the other thread at times I feel like I suddenly had to much responsibility thrust upon me.

But I feel thankful and blessed to have my husband and child in my life.


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## bubbly girl

My husband and I got engaged 6 months after we started dating and married 5 months later. Never lived together before our wedding night either, and we've been married 16 yrs. now. Lots of ups and downs, but we're very much still in love and keep working at it and not giving up during the bad times. We still act like lovesick kids. lol


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## I got this

I was 31, wife 28 when we met in August. Married in Feb. 13 years ago. No pregnancy. Overwhelming love which we still have to date.


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## lamb

I have been married 40 years and do not consider my marriage a success... why you may ask? Well my husband began being abusive 6 months after we were married and I was pregnant with our first child. My husband was shoving me, throwing things at me and cursing at me, yelling at me and calling me the filthiest names. After we were married I saw things I didn't like, but did that mean I should have ended or run away from the marriage? As a Christian I believed marriage was till death do you part. I was put down all the time, which was a continuation from being in an abusive childhood home.

My husband always badmouthed me to his family and to our kids. He always referred to "his family" which was his mom, dad, sisters and brother. His dad was married 4 times. His first two wives were 13 when they married and one died during childbirth the other died shortly after. She hemorrhaged when he had her push the car shortly after giving birth. His mother was raped when she was 17. She was a high school drop out. His father was a womanizer and ended up marrying his mother who was 20 years younger. The dad was 38 and the mom was 18.

The father was going out and meeting with other woman and the mom was flirting with men to get him jealous. So the 4 kids had a poor example in the home. Eventually the dad had many strokes and was out of commission. The mom cared for him and then put him in a convalescent home where he was for 15 years before dying. The mom had an affair with her step daughter's husband. Then she lived with her daughters' boyfriend/husband's uncle (same man, who was related to both daughter's significant other).

My husband was always looking for other women during the marriage, just like his dad. After our kids left home and I took care of his mother for 4 years, he had an affair, which I forgave and they pretended to end. The woman kept telling everyone she was a Christian, but there is no such thing as a Christian harlot. I said she and he pretended to end their sexual affair, but 6 months later he was leaving the house in our motorhome saying he needed to fast, pray and go to church for our marriage. I didn't agree that he should leave and he didn't tell me he was leaving, I asked because I felt like something was going on.

His sister, Irene, used her 2nd husband who was molesting her daughters and other nieces to move her to Las Vegas where she became a call girl, booted him out and met and married another man, who died within the year of marriage. The other sister went to Chino Womens' Prison for selling narcotics to an undercover Federal Agent and the brother was living in his van on the streets and engaged with prostitutes in the streets. This man always told me how I was messed up and the problem in our marriage. I always told him I wasn't perfect and neither was my family; I never said they/I were. Yet he always told me how perfect and loving his family was, but they weren't. They stole stuff from their neighbors, had affairs and did drugs. Even though we talked and we both were going to take care of his mother before she died, it was dumped on my shoulders for 4 years, then his sister who was the prostitute came and took her and she had a stroke and then died within a couple months and his sister blamed me for everything. I was the one who got the mom on a schedule, going to the senior center, eating properly, out of the wheelchair, off using the walker, napping, sleeping through the night and got clothes, life insurance and a plot with the extras...

Three weeks after he left I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Renal Cell Carcinoma. I was supposed to be stress free. Didn't happen. On Mother's Day in the morning I found him shacked up with his Christian Harlot where he'd been all along. She knew he was married, had kids and grandkids, but she pursued the sexual affair with him anyway. They have been living together for four years. He took money and I didn't have an income, except a rent that paid for my mortgage after I got my loan redone.

They pretended, now he wants to divorce me--had me served with papers 2 wks ago and he wants to retire and marry her. I feel free for the first time in my life. My mother, who has written me off many times in my life treats me very badly. Now she calls me after I send her a Mothers' Day, Birthday or Christmas card, but she is real hateful toward me and has been all my life. she told me when I was 43 that she put me up for adoption, but her dad was upset so she got me back.

Well, I was beaten into submission along with my sister and brother for not being perfect and for my sister who was a year younger and my brother who was 4 years younger--I had responsibility for them when I was 5 and older because I was the oldest. My mom and dad had me out of wedlock when my mom was 17 and my dad was 18. So I was hated by my mom, dad, paternal grandmother and other relatives because I messed up my mom and dad's life. My dad went to prison and my mom was pregnant with my sister and divorced my dad. They got married 1 month after I was born. I look like my dad so that may be another reason my mom has hated me.

So just because one is married more than 10 years doesn't mean it is a successful marriage.


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## Caribbean Man

lamb said:


> I have been married 40 years and do not consider my marriage a success... why you may ask? Well my husband began being abusive 6 months after we were married and I was pregnant with our first child. My husband was shoving me, throwing things at me and cursing at me, yelling at me and calling me the filthiest names. After we were married I saw things I didn't like, but did that mean I should have ended or run away from the marriage? As a Christian I believed marriage was till death do you part. I was put down all the time, which was a continuation from being in an abusive childhood home.
> 
> My husband always badmouthed me to his family and to our kids. He always referred to "his family" which was his mom, dad, sisters and brother. His dad was married 4 times. His first two wives were 13 when they married and one died during childbirth the other died shortly after. She hemorrhaged when he had her push the car shortly after giving birth. His mother was raped when she was 17. She was a high school drop out. His father was a womanizer and ended up marrying his mother who was 20 years younger. The dad was 38 and the mom was 18.
> 
> The father was going out and meeting with other woman and the mom was flirting with men to get him jealous. So the 4 kids had a poor example in the home. Eventually the dad had many strokes and was out of commission. The mom cared for him and then put him in a convalescent home where he was for 15 years before dying. The mom had an affair with her step daughter's husband. Then she lived with her daughters' boyfriend & husband's uncle.
> 
> My husband was always looking for other women during the marriage. After our kids left home and I took care of his mother for 4 years, he had an affair, which I forgave and they pretended to end. The woman kept telling everyone she was a Christian, but there is no such thing as a Christian harlot. I said she and he pretended to end their sexual affair, but 6 months later he was leaving the house in our motorhome saying he needed to fast, pray and go to church for our marriage. I didn't agree that he should leave and he didn't tell me he was leaving, I asked because I felt like something was going on.
> 
> Three weeks after he left I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Renal Cell Carcinoma. I was supposed to be stress free. Didn't happen. On Mother's Day in the morning I found him shacked up with his Christian Harlot where he'd been all along. She knew he was married, had kids and grandkids, but she pursued the sexual affair with him anyway. They have been living together for four years. He took money and I didn't have an income, except a rent that paid for my mortgage after I got my loan redone.
> 
> They pretended, now he wants to divorce me--had me served with papers 2 wks ago and he wants to retire and marry her. I feel free for the first time in my life. My mother, who has written me off many times in my life treats me very badly. Now she calls me after I send her a Mothers' Day, Birthday or Christmas card, but she is real hateful toward me and has been all my life. she told me when I was 43 that she put me up for adoption, but her dad was upset so she got me back.
> 
> Well, I was beaten into submission along with my sister and brother for not being perfect and for my sister who was a year younger and my brother who was 4 years younger--I had responsibility for them when I was 5 and older because I was the oldest. My mom and dad had me out of wedlock when my mom was 17 and my dad was 18. So I was hated by my mom, dad, paternal grandmother and other relatives because I messed up my mom and dad's life. My dad went to prison and my mom was pregnant with my sister and divorced my dad. They got married 1 month after I was born. I look like my dad so that may be another reason my mom has hated me.
> 
> So just because one is married more than 10 years doesn't mean it is a successful marriage.



Your story is a very disturbing one.
Sorry to hear that you had to suffer these things almost all of your life.
But how are you coping / dealing with it?
have you ever been to personal counselling?


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## Zookeepertomany

My husband asked me to marry him one month after meeting. We married 8 months later.
We have been together almost 25 years. It certainly has not been a bed of roses but we keep plugging along. We have great times and bad times. We still love each other.


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## betulanana

lamb said:


> I have been married 40 years and do not consider my marriage a success... why you may ask? Well my husband began being abusive 6 months after we were married and I was pregnant with our first child. My husband was shoving me, throwing things at me and cursing at me, yelling at me and calling me the filthiest names. After we were married I saw things I didn't like, but did that mean I should have ended or run away from the marriage? As a Christian I believed marriage was till death do you part. I was put down all the time, which was a continuation from being in an abusive childhood home.


How horrible of your husband to do this! A Christian husband should love his wife as Christ love the church and yours was not doing that.
So sorry to hear. You did not deserve this!


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## betulanana

Zookeepertomany said:


> My husband asked me to marry him one month after meeting. We married 8 months later.
> We have been together almost 25 years. It certainly has not been a bed of roses but we keep plugging along. We have great times and bad times. We still love each other.


Do you have any advice for a younger couple?
What is the most important secret of a happy marriage to your mind?


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## shy_guy

We're ones.

I was a serviceman stationed in her country. She came from her hometown to the town where I was stationed the same day I arrived in that town. I met her the 4th day I was there. I've always had more nerve than good sense, and in my spirit of adventure, I set off with very little money tucked in my sock to see the city ... thinking it would be laid out like an American city ... well, it wasn't - not even close. 

I got myself so hopelessly lost, and nobody spoke English. I didn't know what I was going to do because I didn't know how I was going to get back. I went into a place to buy myself a coke, and after the people there had a little conference, she was sent up to take care of me. She was the only one who had studied any English, but the only English she had studied was in High School. Eventually, I was able to get across to her that I was lost, and needed to get back to base.

She didn't know how to get there, and when the people explained it to her, she couldn't translate all of it where I could understand her. Eventually, she suggested I take a taxi ... now, embarrassment REALLY set in because I had just spent the last of the money I had with me on that coke - I was parched. When she thought about it, she went back and got some of her own money and gave me money for taxi fare.

I felt like an absolute dirtbag on the way back. I didn't know how much money that was to her, and I kept thinking she may have just given me a day's wages just because I was stupid. I promised her I would come back to pay her back, but she didn't really believe I would.

The next day I did return, and because she didn't really believe I would return, I had to wait about an hour before she got there. She was really surprised. When I learned she wanted to improve her English, I made a deal with her - I would help her learn English if she would teach me her language, and about her country.

We became friends quickly, shopped together, etc. Two weeks later, she was assaulted and seriously injured. I arrived just a few minutes after the incident was over, and the people took me to the room where she was. I remember blood everywhere - it shocked the hell out of me, to the point it took me a minute to gather my wits and even do anything useful. We were forbidden to get involved in anything involving an injury with a local, but I ignored that order, and I managed to get her into a taxi and to a hospital. They sewed her up, but they mistook her for a "business girl" because she was with an American. Because of that, they refused to keep her thinking she could not pay, and even though she was unconscious, I had to take her out and take her back to her place. I stayed with her and nursed her back until she had enough strength to get up and around on her own (I didn't know how to contact her family at all, so she had nobody but me to look after her).

When she was recovering, I proposed to her. This was just over two weeks after we met. She accepted. We were married less than 3 months after we met.

We've been married for 28 years now. We have three kids: 2 biological and one adopted. Our two elder children are out of college and out on their own - one married and the other getting married later this year. We're on our 19th address in the 28 years we've been married. We've lived in 4 different countries, and in 6 different states in the US. 

We had a lot to learn about each other, each other's culture, and families, etc. It hasn't always been smooth, but I think it's been very, VERY good. She has been my best friend and my best buddy since the day she went and got about $2.50 to give to a stupid GI who had gotten himself helplessly lost. 

If I had it all to do over again, I would get lost the first day, rather than waiting until the 4th. There's nobody else in the world I'd rather be with ... and I'll make sure she knows I appreciate her.

(The previous paragraph is not advice. It's me stating how much I love being with my wife.)


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## bubbly girl

shy_guy, that is one of the sweetest stories I've ever heard.


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## Woodchuck

We married after about 4 months.....

She was a single mom, and came knocking on the back door of our business about 9:30 one night because her son was having trouble breathing......

I drove her to the ER, and looked her up the next day to see how he was doing (just the croup)...

I asked her out, and I'm sure she felt obligated to go, I wasn't about to miss the opportunity.......From day one we were inseparable..

We spent every waking non working minute together.....

She was very man shy, and I was determined...It still took me two months...She was more surprised than I at her totally sexual nature....absolutely mind blowing.......

Ten years of non stop sex would be a pretty accurate description, and after 47 years I am still totally in love with her.....

The kid never had the croup again, so it might have been fate, that brought two lonely people together that night....

He is as devoted a son as a step dad ever had, and a good man....

Not the stuff of movies, but a really great love story...

the woodchuck


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## masterclicker

My wife and I were dating only about 13 months, when she got pregnant with our first daughter. We married shortly after we found out. We were in love with each other, so we were happy to get married. She was still in high school at the time. This is a rather unremarkable story so far. Many couples begin their married lives in a similar set of circumstances. What IS remarkable about our story is that we celebrated our 47th anniversary a few months ago, and today we are still deeply in love with each other. Being so young, and starting our lives together with practically nothing, many people (including our parents) thought there was nearly zero chance we would have a successful marriage and happy lives together. In spite of our young ages, we both always respected each other's feelings and we always expressed our love for each other. Sure, we had some troubled times over the years, but one or both of refused to allow any of those problems to overcome our love. Neither of us has has ever allowed infidelity to spoil what we have. To this day, I still love to hug and kiss and caress my beautiful wife. I love her more intensely now than I ever have before, with a special kind of love that you can only have with someone you have shared so much with. I wish other couples could know the joy we have known. Try to hang in there, and try to focus on the good things about your spouse. Maybe, if you're lucky you can have a wonderful marriage too.


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## Bill Sanders

I dated a Russian woman online for about 9 months. She knew no English and I knew no Russian (we wrote through and interpreter). Flew to her for a first visit.... and marriage around month 10.

We just celebrated our 11th anniversary a short time ago. Best thing that ever happened to me.


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## livelaughlovenow

My husband and I dated for about 2months, moved in together, got married about 6 months later... have been married almost 11 years. I think we have been sucessful, but we have had jelousy, mental health issues, both of us are insecure due to our upbringing, and we wound up one time going to counciling. It just simply made us realize to talk to each other more. So we have been doing that. We have a sweet love story (I was done with men at the time) and my husband pursued me, it wasn't long before I was head over heels. (Am I still, no not to that extent, I love him on a much deeper level). We have two kids. and we continue to talk about any issues that arise, have a decent sex life, and work on things together. 

Someone asked for advice?? I would do premarital counsiling, I have seen that help so many people, becuase there are things that are discussed that most couples when courting fast just do not (as someone else mentioned the chemcials in your brain... and later the flaws come out). I would not recommend to my daughter to do the same thing I did, but I wouldn't think she was wrong if she did either.


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## kenken

my husband and i met in december,proposed to me in february got me pregnant in june,got married in july ..our relationship is still on going,despite of ups and down,i just dont know where this can lead us,as i feel the need of emotional attention,i cannot find from him...i dont know if you would consid this success but nevertheless,whenevr i talk to him i am relieved...at the mo we are living separate as he is studying in another country and i am studying in my country...ill let you know,i have posts here regarding past issues.


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## kenken

btw,we met in december 2008.


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## Rafters

lamb said:


> As a Christian I believed marriage was till death do you part. I was put down all the time, which was a continuation from being in an abusive childhood home.


Another reason for me to dislike religion that I had not previously considered.


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## I'mAllIn

My husband and I met and started dating at the end of September, moved in together in December, got ingaged in February, and married that July. We've been married 23 years now and I consider it a success.


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