# How to catch a cheater!!!



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

You're here and your suspicious. Something is going on, but you're not sure what. You are here looking for answers. You think you're going crazy and imagining things. You aren't 

Welcome to Talk About Marriage and I wish we could have met under different circumstances, but know we are here for you!

First and foremost - Keep your mouth shut, play dumb act like nothing is wrong, this is the hardest part. You want answeres, understandable, but dont say anything. You don't want to tip them off, you suspect anything. They won't tell you, they won't confess. You will need to gather evidence first and foremost. If you tip them off it will take an act of GOD, to find the truth. They will bury everything and they will deny, deny, deny and make you seem like you're mentally unstable and losing your mind.......... 

You are not crazy, nuts, paranoid or imagining things. Always follow your gut! Their behavior isn't quite right, you may not pick up on it right away, but there is that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is screaming at you, something is off. There actions tip this off. Listen to it, follow it. Dont bury your head in the sand. Follow it. 

You will litterly fight with yourself. Your head says they are, your heart says they aren't. Always believe what your head tells you, disreguard your heart. You will think you are going nuts. You won't know if you're coming or going. You will be in a roller coaster you can't get off of.

If you have already confronted. That is OK. This is a natural reaction, but don't do it again until you have enough evidence to confront again. Even then they may deny it and try to explain. They will say "its all in your head"

Defensiveness and blame shifting when confronted, is usually a dead giveaway of guilt. If they were innocent they would be shocked you think they are having an affair, instead of being defensive and turning it all around on you.

You need to figure out what you're going to do if your SO is having an affair. Will you try to work it out or will you file for Divorce? Have a plan. Will you stay in your home or will the WS. Always have a well thought out plan before confronting. Chances are they will still deny it, be prepared for that . listen to the evidence infront of you. Cheaters are very good liars.

Start digging - How?
You will have to dig in order to find anything. 
Be prepared for what you may find. 

*Laptop/computer*. 

Install a recovery program such as recuva -its free. You will need a thumb drive to transfer deleted files to, before you can recover them. It will not allow you to use the same drive for recovery. There is also a deep scan option. the regular scan will take a few hours, depending on how many files there are. Give you're self time. The deep scan will take double the time a normal scan does.

*Android phone - recovery*

Install DrFone on a laptop or desktop. You will need to open up the developer option on the phone first before proceeding. To do this you will need to open the developer setting on the phone. 

This is how -

Go to the settings menu, and scroll down to "About phone." Tap it. Scroll down to the bottom again, where you see "Build number." tap it seven (7) times. After the third tap, you'll see a playful dialog that says you're four taps away from being a developer. (If only it were that simple, eh?) Keep on tapping, and *poof*, you've got the developer settings.

Plug the phone into laptop/computer Dr fone is installed on. Follow the steps on computer screen. In order to recover deleted text messages you will need to root the android phone before plugging it in. Rooting I don't know how to do, yet, but google is your friend. 

You will be able to see videos/deleted videos, calls/deleted call history, pictures/deleted pictures, messages, message attachments sent / received and deleted. In order to save anything it costs approx 29.99, small price to pay.

If you have an old smart phone laying around collecting dust - 

Install "smart voice recorder" from google play store - its free. This will be used as a voice activated recorder. once installed check "skip silence" you now have a VAR and will only activate with noise/voice. Make sure the phone is fully charged and on silent before placing it. You do not need to activate the phone to use it for this purpose. If you want to put a GPS app on the phone as well, you will need to activate service. 2 birds one stone. 

If you don't have a spare smart phone. You can buy a voice activated recorder (VAR)

Most people feel safe talking in the car, away from prying ears. This method is very effective. Secure under the drivers seat. 

*GPS unit*
Track their location in real time. This goes in target vehicle. I dont have much experience with these, I've never used one. But a word advice. you get what you pay for.

Keyloggers-
There are several keylogger options. I would not recommend installing a free key logger on target phone. Keyloggers need to be hidden (however a keylogger can be found if they know what they are looking for) most free keyloggers or trial require you to buy the full version, in order to hide it. 

I have experience with mobistealth - calls, texts, pictures, video, email. Internet history ( only if the default web browser is used all of them are the same) You can record all phone calls or calls from 5 select numbers. You can even listen to conversations or surrounding goings on. you just have to send a code you make, to the phone through sms.

In order to use Viber , WhatsApp features, Kik etc. You will need to root the phone. See all apps installed on phone, GPS location tracking - GPS isn't always accurate, however. This app took me a while to install :-(. I almost got caught. You have to download the apk from the instructions video, once you purchase. You have to remove browsing history and the download from download history, after installation. You will also need to check mark allow 3rd party apps, before installing . here's how:

Go to Settings on phone and switch to the “general” tab, if needed.
Tap on the “Security” option.
Tick the checkbox next to the “Unknown Sources” option.
Confirm the warning message by tapping on “OK”. Walla, you can now install 3rd party apps.

The only issue I had after installation was lookout . I had to disable it, so it wouldn't throw out warning notifications .. You will also need to turn on the data controller for internet history there are step by step instruction in the internet browsing tab on your dash bored.. 

A key logger only works on the account it's installed on. If they are using a user account or a different account on the phone, the keylogger won't work. But there should be gaps in GPS tracking when they sign out and in to the the user account. (This is going on with my h and has been since he moved to days Every night in the early morning GPS stops tracking, it happens to frequently to be a glitch.) 

You can also install a seperate keylogger on computer or laptop. A free one is fine on a computer. You may have to disable antivirus software.

*FYI*- Please read the laws on using a keyloggers in your state. In most states keyloggers are illegal as well recording conversations without prior written consent.

Another thing -

Go to googles Internet history there will be an blue link at the top that says history.google.com, click on that. 

This is separate from the history tab - most don't realize that this has to be deleted seperatly from history.. this is called my activity to google and will only work if its enabled and uses their gmail account. If there is nothing there go to a website. Then try again it should show up, unless its been deleted.

Everything they do with google will be included here. Including talk to text, all calls if they use google contacts. You can even play back audio. 

See a number you dont recognize?

Put the number in google search
Usually you won't have to pay for the search to get a name. Or you can download a texting app such as sideline or textmeup to call the number and see who answeres. This way you won't give you're self away and/or your number. 

You can also go through files on the phone. Even if the app has been uninstalled, the file will still be here. Most people assume that everything will be wiped once uninstalled. It will leave a folder behind even though it will be empty. Unless its been deleted . If you are not sure what a file is google it .

You would be surprised what they leave behind without even realizing it. 

look for texting apps, messaging apps. I would recommend taking pictures with your phone of the ones you dont recognize to search for later. 

This is all for now. More to come.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*This sounds so very concise and well-thought out!

I never had access to her iPhone and PC because I had trusted her implicitly! But once the "trial separation" ensued, I found out all that I ever needed from her FB page, all with a little bit of help from some of my more PC-literate friends! 

No telling what other substantive evidence could have come to the forefront, but what little that I found out sickened me on its own sheer merits alone! *


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here is a link that will help.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## TryinToFindHope (Jun 13, 2017)

I really really wish I had read this before I confronted my partner. I'd have been in a much better place than I am now. Here's to hoping for an act of God.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

TryinToFindHope said:


> I really really wish I had read this before I confronted my partner. I'd have been in a much better place than I am now. Here's to hoping for an act of God.




I knew better and I confronted before I was ready! I've been here since 2010! It will take an act of GOD, now. But I have a few things up my sleeve, I haven't tried yet. 

If I were you I would place at least a var in his car.... I am getting ready to do that tonight. I've got my old smart phone updated and charged with the smart voice recorder app on it. I am just afraid he will find it :/.

The thing is, if you really want answers they won't just fall in your lap. You will have to actively search for answeres to your questions. I've been looking for almost a month now. 

If you need anything, please don't hesitate to pm me


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I suppose it would be good to bump this thread often 


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