# Drunk wife vs sober wife



## Korolover (10 mo ago)

Ok so often when we’re drunk we talk about toys. Straps , restrains, lingerie abs other stuff s d so in my drunken stupor I order a lot of things . Now the minute they come home she rejects them even when we’re drunk. I would really like to go ahead with those things but she just won’t cooperate. Is this normal ? Should I stop ordering ? We’re married 7 years now and yes things have slightly changed as in it’s only girl on top or missionary . What do I need to do ?
Ps I compliment her all the time and I Mean it
Also to add to this , I think it’s worth mentioning that we had an encounter with a female friend of mine some months back. Initially she talked about it in regret but now every time we are high she brings it up and says what a sexy encounter we had that night .


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

have HER order these things.
you might be buying things she is afraid of trying, such as dildos that are massively sized, when she just wants a tiny lelo vibrator.

hand her the credit card, and encourage her to go for it.

or another idea, both of you take the quiz on MojoUpgrade.com. if you find kinky interests you both have, then you have an excuse to buy that specific toy to enhance that one kinky sex act.

Like you both want to tie her up and have doggie style sex....so buying some harness to tie her to the bed she will probably then welcome to try that one act out.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Bugbug said:


> Ok so often when we’re drunk


I think you have your answer there...


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Bugbug said:


> Ok so often when we’re drunk we talk about toys. Straps , restrains, lingerie abs other stuff s d so in my drunken stupor I order a lot of things . Now the minute they come home she rejects them even when we’re drunk. I would really like to go ahead with those things but she just won’t cooperate. Is this normal ? Should I stop ordering ? We’re married 7 years now and yes things have slightly changed as in it’s only girl on top or missionary . What do I need to do ?
> Ps I compliment her all the time and I Mean it
> Also to add to this , I think it’s worth mentioning that we had an encounter with a female friend of mine some months back. Initially she talked about it in regret but now every time we are high she brings it up and says what a sexy encounter we had that night .


Stop manipulating her.
Only buy things (or believe her) when you talk when she’s sober.
Drunk people say and do stupid things.
And lose the drugs. (from other thread)


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Bugbug said:



Ok so often when we’re drunk we talk about toys. Straps , restrains, lingerie abs other stuff ....

Click to expand...

*I'm assuming "restrains" means *"restraints?" * When you say she "won't cooperate," may I _also_ assume you mean she's not into letting you tie her up and shove a ball-gag in her mouth? Well isn't she a party pooper?

Just because she talks about it in *fantasy* doesn't mean you need to blow the family fortune on spike collars, mattress restraints, and an expandable spreader bar with leather handcuffs. Sheesh.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

A fantasy is something that does not exist.

Once you purchased those items, the fantasy became real.

Many people fear such reality because, at that point, there is no escape, no waking up, no change of thought and the fantasy finds itself gone.

Your wife muses on being the naughty lady. Her sober self rejects muses.

Your wife is not ready to cross that bridge, accept that.

If you persist, you may flip her onto a side you might not be happy with.

She has boundaries, you do not respect them.

Now....

This FMF fantasy of hers, that one will likely doom your marriage if you (or she) pushes it.
The extra person in the room will massage and strip her away from her defenses.
She very well could, go over to the other side, into the boob loving world (forever lost).

Lesbians have had there fill of men and their pushing, prodding and poking antics.




_King Brian-_


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i do not think she is in danger of going full 100% lesbian on you. She married you, and continues to have sex, albeit not as kinky as you desire.

but she may be bisexual. she obviously has kinks, as she reveals to you when she is wasted, but when sober something holds her back.
sounds like she is not actually telling you the truth of her kinky fantasies because she fears you would object.

you somehow have to give her full reign to explore her kinks without forcing it too much, but while showing that you fully suppport ANYTHING she wants to try, and that you will not judge.
i am not saying you have to give her carte blanche....but she should feel fully at ease to ask you for almost anything.

THAT is how to kick start your combined sex life....have a sex life that coincides with her deepest and most secret kinky fantasies.

Also, what makes you think she has not hooked up with this female friend multiple times after the FMF session? Maybe that is why your sex life is getting boring, she is giving you obligatory sex, while saving the monkey love for her GF?

once again, she should feel free to discuss such a thing.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I realize there are people on here who think open marriages are great and the best way to go. I personally know a couple who have been together for over 25 years and have an open marriage. 

Be careful opening your marriage. These exceptions I believe are exactly that, exceptions. In many if not most cases, the marriage is over once you open it up.


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## MiaMia0930 (11 mo ago)

Bugbug said:


> Ok so often when we’re drunk we talk about toys. Straps , restrains, lingerie abs other stuff s d so in my drunken stupor I order a lot of things . Now the minute they come home she rejects them even when we’re drunk. I would really like to go ahead with those things but she just won’t cooperate. Is this normal ? Should I stop ordering ? We’re married 7 years now and yes things have slightly changed as in it’s only girl on top or missionary . What do I need to do ?
> Ps I compliment her all the time and I Mean it
> Also to add to this , I think it’s worth mentioning that we had an encounter with a female friend of mine some months back. Initially she talked about it in regret but now every time we are high she brings it up and says what a sexy encounter we had that night .


just because she talks about it while high/drunk, does not meanshe’s actually into it. I get a chemical “high” from being horny and I tell my husband all kinds of things during those moments (such as wanting a MFF threesome) doesn’t mean I plan to ever follow thru. It’s a fantasy and one I plan to keep that way, because real life is NEVER as good as what we’ve dreamt up in our minds. I think, you need to start talking to her about these things while she’s 100% sober. Then, let her order things she’s comfortable with.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I realize there are people on here who think open marriages are great and the best way to go. I personally know a couple who have been together for over 25 years and have an open marriage.
> 
> Be careful opening your marriage. These exceptions I believe are exactly that, exceptions. In many if not most cases, the marriage is over once you open it up.


in my limited experience online seeing people talk about it, it seems like 3/4 of such marriages fail withing 5 years. the rest are good to go forever.

if i were to guess, one of the pair develops jealousy that they did not expect to have going into it.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

MiaLancer69 said:


> just because she talks about it while high/drunk, does not meanshe’s actually into it. I get a chemical “high” from being horny and I tell my husband all kinds of things during those moments (such as wanting a MFF threesome) doesn’t mean I plan to ever follow thru. It’s a fantasy and one I plan to keep that way, because real life is NEVER as good as what we’ve dreamt up in our minds. I think, you need to start talking to her about these things while she’s 100% sober. Then, let her order things she’s comfortable with.


it DOES mean that she is thinking about it, and/or fantasizing about it.
it probably means she would be fine with Role Playing it out....maybe she dresses as one of her friends, wears a wig colored like her friend's hair, and lets her husband have sex with her playing that role. 

but in real life, it might just remain a buried subconscious thought--something she shys away from with some fear.

that is why it is important to get both partners to agree to new types of sex. it is no fun if one hates the new sex, but is forced into it.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> in my limited experience online seeing people talk about it, it seems like 3/4 of such marriages fail withing 5 years. the rest are good to go forever.
> 
> if i were to guess, one of the pair develops jealousy that they did not expect to have going into it.


I think it boils down to communication and what sex actually means to them. To many people sex is just a thing you do, a meaningless physical release. So it doesn’t matter if you include other people, none of it means anything. If sex is something with deep emotional significance, I don’t like the word “jealousy” but it doesn’t honor that bond to share it. It’s so important that people are on the same page.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think it boils down to communication and what sex actually means to them. To many people sex is just a thing you do, a meaningless physical release. So it doesn’t matter if you include other people, none of it means anything. If sex is something with deep emotional significance, I don’t like the word “jealousy” but it doesn’t honor that bond to share it. It’s so important that people are on the same page.


jealousy is def not the correct word.
it can be someone is not jealous of the other person brought in, but instead just generally feels bad about the change, and wants to get back to the original married sex life, without worrying about others.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> jealousy is def not the correct word.
> it can be someone is not jealous of the other person brought in, but instead just generally feels bad about the change, and wants to get back to the original married sex life, without worrying about others.


I can’t imagine going back. I know many do, but I know couldn’t. My feelings would be completely different, I couldn’t rugsweep something like that. I’m not judging those who do, nor am I saying that people like me are weak. I just know who I am. But marriage is between two people and people are different. As long as both partners are on the same page and everyone is a consenting adult, do whatever works.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Making decisions while intoxicated is certainly a good idea....😆


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## Korolover (10 mo ago)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm assuming "restrains" means *"restraints?" * When you say she "won't cooperate," may I _also_ assume you mean she's not into letting you tie her up and shove a ball-gag in her mouth? Well isn't she a party pooper?
> 
> Just because she talks about it in *fantasy* doesn't mean you need to blow the family fortune on spike collars, mattress restraints, and an expandable spreader bar with leather handcuffs. Sheesh.


No . Lol . No not at all. Restraints these days don’t necessarily mean u tie someone helpless. Straps are different mate . U need to look it up


Talker67 said:


> i do not think she is in danger of going full 100% lesbian on you. She married you, and continues to have sex, albeit not as kinky as you desire.
> 
> but she may be bisexual. she obviously has kinks, as she reveals to you when she is wasted, but when sober something holds her back.
> sounds like she is not actually telling you the truth of her kinky fantasies because she fears you would object.
> ...


no she has not met her separately because we both meet her together and we know exactly where everyone Is at any given point of time. As for being open believe me I am open with her and she has the freedom to do whatever she likes abs she knows that . On the contrary I have suggested to do it again ( under limits of course ) and she is game . There are other complications at play like common friends etc who we would like not to know so hence the chance of us 3 being again together alone are Always have been very slim. As for her comfort zone , even I am not very comfortable when I’m sober. It’s just one of those things that come out when we are drunk bonding. I guess that’s just the thing between us


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## Korolover (10 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> Making decisions while intoxicated is certainly a good idea....😆


Absolutely


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Bugbug said:


> Absolutely


So stop doing it.
When you're drinking, it's good to have fun. But let it stop there.
Don't start serious conversations or keep trying to drag secrets out of her.

And neither one of you get sloppy drunk, people say and do stupid things when drunk. 
You have kids to think about, be a role model for them


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