# Suspicious behaviour?



## Creggers (May 12, 2016)

My wife and I have been together 8 years and married for 1. We have had a bit of an up and down relationship due to her having possible depression, (not diagnosed). She has been going outo with people she wouldn't normally spend time with, she has become distant from me and her family (her mum and dad). We have sex on average once a month and I have to instigate it. She is constantly on her phone and takes it everywhere. I have asked to see her phone and she refused to let me see it on the grounds she has things on there about me she don't want me to see. I asked to show someone a picture she took on her phone and she would not let go of it. 
She never asks how my day was at work or how I'm feeling, I always ask when I'm back from work, how she is and how her day was. She always used to be really good with money but not anymore, she never seems to have any. She gets over dressed when she goes out, for example she went bowling with her gym mates and she was dressed to impressed. And now for the icing on the cake, on our 1 year anniversary she went out for dinner with her mate! We had spent the day before at a spa together, but our actual anniversary she went out! I asked if I could go with her as I knew the person she said she was going with, that went down like a lead balloon and made many excuses as to why I shouldn't go.
Am I over thinking it or could there be someting going on?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Creggers said:


> I have asked to see her phone and she refused to let me see it on the grounds *she has things on there about me she don't want me to see.*


^^ No doubt.



Creggers said:


> Am I over thinking it or could there be someting going on?


Is your question for real or do you just want to get 30 replies back that she is probably cheating?

So, what is your next question after that?


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## SofaKingWeToddId (Feb 7, 2013)

Dude. There are too many red flags to count. You should be Very concerned.

Head on over to CWI


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## Creggers (May 12, 2016)

I have asked her and she said she's not cheating, and her mum also thinks it's all nothing to worry about. But like you said there's just too much going on for it not to be cheating. She's going away with her single mate next week as well so goodness knows what she will be doing!


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Sounds like a crappy marriage. Took you 7 years to decide to marry her, were you 100% sure?

Can you access her cell phone bill? The answers will be there.

If no kids, just move on. She is wearing the pants in the relationship, you can't be happy.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

She is totally cheating.

Start investigating by planting a VAR, GPS, and get a keylogger.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Creggers said:


> I have asked her and she said she's not cheating, and her mum also thinks it's all nothing to worry about.


Good to here that. Are there any other questions we can help with?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Creggers said:


> I have asked her and *she said she's not cheating, and her mum also thinks it's all nothing to worry about*. But like you said there's just too much going on for it not to be cheating. *She's going away with her single mate next week *as well so goodness knows what she will be doing!


Come on dude. You knowing something is going down. Hanging out with a single girl is bad news. Almost as bad as hanging with divorcees. Sounds like your relationship is in some serious danger. 

As for her saying that she's not cheating, that is always what they say and her family are going to stand by their daughter regardless of the evidence.

The fact that you're getting a trickling of duty sex, tells me she's not into you and may be into someone else. You need to make sure that she's hanging with a her female friend without men, I doubt it. Her friend could just be a cover so she can be with whoever is getting her love.


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## Creggers (May 12, 2016)

It is a crappy marriage and it is all one way. We don't have kids but I do work for her dad so that complicates things. Her parents have very much been on my side as he behaviour has not been good, I guess her mum just don't think she would be a cheater. And deep down I'm hoping she's not but I know all signs point to something fishy.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Creggers,

You've only been married a year and have already been reduced to once a month sex, she has no regard for you of any kind. Please do not have children with this woman she is not a wife. It seems at best you are a paycheck to her or backup emotional support. Can you endure anohter 10 years of her dressing up like a hottie while you sit at home?

This alone is enough , you wrote, . *I have asked to see her phone and she refused to let me see it on the grounds she has things on there about me she don't want me to see* There should be no secrets between spouses.

Tell her you get all her passwords, or you divorce, then divorce her anyway, this is no way for anyone to live, it's going to destroy your health.

Tamat


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You keep referreing to her "mate", is this a man or woman??


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Why is it one sided? 

Why does she get what she wants and you get what's left? 

Do you see yourself in here? ---> No More Mr Nice Guy, Dr Robert Glover

Best


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Creggers said:


> I have asked her and she said she's not cheating


 If she is cheating, would you really expect her to admit it? A major study showed that only 7% (including the 3% caught in the act) ever admit to their spouse that they cheated. Bottom line, red flags are usually all that you will ever know about if your spouse is cheating, and that there is a 93% chance that the cheater will never admit to their spouse that they are cheating, no matter the red flags indicating otherwise.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Married only a year and it's already almost sexless. No kids too. Come on. Just get out. Maybe you can get an annulment. Don't stay married because of employment. If they don't understand, then bounce. 

With no children, you're not tied anywhere. Just file and go out and get a new beginning. If you have to move, then do it. I would see this as an opportunity for a new life. Why stay with a woman that obviously doesn't want to be with you.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

So yes, it's very likely she's got a fling going on. That said, even if she didn't do you really want to live this way? Having been in your shoes, I understand the need to know. The phone records and a key logger on your computer will probably tell you all you need. See an attorney and get educated on the divorce process where you live. Obviously stop having sex with her as you don't want to get her pregnant and you don't want to catch anything.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Up to you but if she goes on that trip your marriage is over if it is not already.

You need to get someone to follow her when she goes out with the mates and see what she up to, or do it yourself.

Get a couple voice recorders and install one in the car (attached to the seat frame with velcro), the other in the room in the house she is always in when she talks on the phone.

I don't now what to say about the trip. If you know where she is going then get someone to follow her. Or you can follow and see what happens.

Yes I believe she is cheating on you EA or PA I do not know, my bet is a PA.


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## Creggers (May 12, 2016)

Her mate is a woman who is her best friend. I say it's one way as u do everything and anything for her and gethe very little in return. You are right when you say even if she isn't cheating is this a life i want? Who would want this life.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Creggers said:


> Her mate is a woman who is her best friend. I say it's one way as u do everything and anything for her and gethe very little in return. You are right when you say even if she isn't cheating is this a life i want? Who would want this life.


Who says she is not cheating?


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Creggers said:


> ...on our 1 year anniversary she went out for dinner with her mate! We had spent the day before at a spa together, but our actual anniversary she went out! I asked if I could go with her as I knew the person she said she was going with, that went down like a lead balloon and made many excuses as to why I shouldn't go.


How late did this "dinner" go? How was she dressed? Does she go out with this mate often? Where do they go? What do they do?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Creggers said:


> Her mate is a woman who is her best friend. I say it's one way as u do everything and anything for her and gethe very little in return. You are right when you say even if she isn't cheating is this a life i want? Who would want this life.


 @Creggers

Ok, her mate is a women. That clears that up. Could her new bedmate be a women.....this women? We have no proof. We have only your tale, your post to guide us. We are going on past WW behavior.

Her dressing up to go out with this women does not lead me to that conclusion. If they were bosom buddies they would be happy with casual attire....I would think?

As others have suggested, you need to get at her phone {snoop it} and you need to record what she says on that phone when you are not around. Buy at least two voice recorders, one for her car, one for the house, placed at the spot where she likes to talk to people.

Does she carry a lunker purse? A huge purse, that is. 

If so, does it have a lining, or some compartment that you could place a VAR in. A purse goes everywhere a women goes, and her voice is almost always within 6 stretched out condoms away from her purse. That coksymety is in steamy earshot range. Note: this is very risky to do. Women are always rooting through their purse for something. You must hide it good. You will need to put a tiny piece of electrical tape over the "red" record light. It will be readily seen in her purse if she roots around and dislodges it.

Do the detective work. Put your mind, either at ease, or in {dis-ease}. Hopefully, you do not have to remove the colon between {that} word.

Good luck, Sherlock!


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## Twyer123 (May 13, 2016)

My father-in-law said he knew his wife was cheating 'again.' because she would not let him see her phone, and it finally came out that she was. So not letting someone see your phone is a definite RED FLAG.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

My dad's third wife left him for a woman. She was always gay or bisexual she just didn't know it until after she married him.

Started spending lots of time with this woman, at one point they'd be together in a locked bedroom.

Told my dad they were "just talking". He was in complete denial, although after being prodded by his children he confronted her and asked her if she was sexual with this woman. She angrily denied. Repeatedly. Until she left him for this woman.

That's what they do.

Don't insult yourself by asking a possible cheater if they're cheating. It's just really lame.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Creggers said:


> I have asked her and she said she's not cheating, and her mum also thinks it's all nothing to worry about. But like you said there's just too much going on for it not to be cheating. She's going away with her single mate next week as well so goodness knows what she will be doing!


cheaters always lie about it. If she has nothing to hide then why is she so secretive with her phone? Why the need to dress up like that?


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Creggers said:


> She gets over dressed when she goes out, for example she went bowling with her gym mates and she was dressed to impressed.


You are British? Over here, some of the bowling alleys turn into nightclubs after a certain hour on certain nights. 

How funny that you all, of course, scream "SHE'S CHEATING". Then when you find out the "mate" is a woman, you keep running the same play and now she's a lesbian????

She's a party girl dude. How could you not know that? How can all of you not see that.

VAR in her car and someone to follow her "pub hopping' with her wingwoman will give you all you need to know. In about a week you will understand it all.

Lesbian. Classic.


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## Annette Tush (May 4, 2016)

Creggers said:


> It is a crappy marriage and it is all one way. We don't have kids but I do work for her dad so that complicates things. Her parents have very much been on my side as he behaviour has not been good, I guess her mum just don't think she would be a cheater. And deep down I'm hoping she's not but I know all signs point to something fishy.


I would try to find another job if possible... so that If I have to make a drastic decision, (which I think you should consider), I am not held back by not wanting to fall out with my in laws who put food to my table. Cheating or not cheating, she is not into you. How do you spend a wedding anniversary with someone else, with no convincing explanation, and you don't feel remorse about it?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Creggers said:


> I have asked her and she said she's not cheating, and her mum also thinks it's all nothing to worry about. But like you said there's just too much going on for it not to be cheating. She's going away with her single mate next week as well so goodness knows what she will be doing!


Check your phone bill. 

Do you really think anyone's going to tell you? Cmon man you're smarter than this.

Blood is thicker than water.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

MachoMcCoy said:


> She's a party girl dude. How could you not know that? How can all of you not see that.
> 
> VAR in her car and someone to follow her "pub hopping' with her wingwoman will give you all you need to know. In about a week you will understand it all.
> 
> Lesbian. Classic.


Tongue in cheeky jowls it tis' from moi.

I too, think that she is airing out the bush while doing the Pub Hop dance with goil-friend, yea, hunting strange Male Mates. 

She is leaving OP in a stalemate, thinking of him as a Stale-Mate even though he is a solid Stable mate, not the horsey kind, 

Nae. tis not goot.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Well, you see, the one year marriage thing is a red herring.

They were together as man and wife and then at year 7 thought to make it official.

But then it all started to go wrong. But we have heard this before, yes? When a couple get married after years together and one "suddenly" decides they want to act like a teen again, partying with their mates, etc?

She celebrated your anniversary without you being there? :wtf: What the *very* f..k???

Creggers, she is cheating you out of a marriage. Oh, maybe she isn't physically or emotionally having an afair, but mark my words, young man, she is cheating you out of a marriage. _Ahem!_ Sorry. Sounded like my dear old gran, then! Mark my words, indeed!

But it is true. She is cheating you out of your marriage by cutting you out of 90% of it.

Right. Check with your FIL, see if the company has any private health insurance for dealing with counselling/therapy for depression.

If not, you, her mum and dad need to have her treated for whatever the heck is wrong with her on the NHS. (If you are in Britain.)


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

If she missed the wedding anniversary that's just awful. 
No respect for her own marriage. 
Sounds like her & the friend are more interested in alcohol that anything else! They probably dress up to get free drinks off of single men. 
She's needs to dump this friend or you dump her. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Uh, yeah, your marriage is over. See if you can get it annulled.

She's out on the town on your first anniversary?
Hmmmm.

She's overdressing, distant, no a ex to speak of, Gollums her phone (practically calls it "her precious"), going out without her man?

Geez, don't even wonder if she is cheating, just give her walking papers and go find another job.

She's gone, man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Evinrude58 said:


> Uh, yeah, your marriage is over. See if you can get it annulled.
> 
> She's out on the town on your first anniversary?
> Hmmmm.
> ...


After a year married and having regular sex? (Even if only once a month) I doubt an annulment would be possible.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

MrsAldi said:


> They *probably* dress up to get free drinks off of *single* men.


Just a little wording issue......



MrsAldi said:


> They dress up to get free drinks off of men.


...there you go. Spot on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

@Creggers

You dropped off our radar. Are you still in the air....talk to us.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> @Creggers
> 
> You dropped off our radar. Are you still in the air....talk to us.



Good call, @SunCMars! :smthumbup:
@Creggers, you still with us, mate? How's it going?


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