# Is this reason enough to leave him or am I being selfish?



## Ceci23 (Jul 21, 2011)

We have been married for 2 years. We now have twin daughters and we have gained custody of his 10 yr old daughter.

I loved him but over the last year I can't remember the last time he made me feel like he loves ME.

I have caught him lying to me on several occasions: secret realtionships with younger woman, contacting past girl friends, where he has been after work. I feel like I can't trust him any more.

Recently he was arrested for shop lifting, I don't even know how to react to this. I haven't spoke to him in 4 days. Usually I wont yell and scream but I feel broken and lost. I'm disappointed and disgusted. Hoe stupid and pointless. he hasn't tried to talk to me either.

I feel lost. I don't know if I love him or if I am just really hurt. I don't want to have sex with him. I can't trust him. We really dont do anything together. He doesn't compliment me or make me feel loved.

What does this all mean? Do we try counseling again? Or is this the end?


----------



## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Again? What is actually wrong with him? High risk behaviours indicate something. He needs a shrink, not a therapist.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

He doesn't sound very trustworthy, and that is a terrible foundation for a marriage.


----------



## onepotatotwo (May 17, 2011)

From what I went through with my exH, this stuff is what I consider 'deal breakers'. I think when this kind of thing goes on, you lose all trust and it can't be recreated. My exH did alot of the behaviors you're describing, and we went to counseling too...but we'd get home and he'd pick right up where he left off. In our case, exH had a personality disorder--not that it excuses the behavior and the consequences it had and still has on me, but it does help put it into perspective, at least for me, that the relationship was not fixable. Counseling is meant to address issues--like leaving the toilet seat up... It's not for the treatment of personality disorders. 
I don't know if your H has a disorder or not, but he's showing definite signs that something is seriously amiss.
I hope that you will continue to see a counselor on your own so you can try to figure out the next move that's right for you.


----------

