# my dryness & attraction issues



## anonymousdub (Feb 19, 2011)

my husband and me are married over 7 years, living together around 15 (now late 30s). throughout our relationship i have suffered from vaginal dryness and lubricants have been our fixer of choice. 

last year we started marriage counselling for a range of issues & we are still working on fixing things and moving forward.

i've become more concerned about the dryness issue because i find myself unaroused by him no matter what lengths we go to. when we watch erotic movies i become lubricated, when i read erotic books i become lubricated, when i fantasize and/or mastrubate i become lubricated but when it's just the two of us with no outside stimulation i remain dry.

in the past we discussed the dryness and i assured him that i was turned on, interested etc because there was a time when i truly fancied him and enjoyed sex but now i wonder was i being true to myself, was i just trying to make him feel ok, have i been unaroused by him for most of the relationship.

he likes to give cunnilingus but i don't enjoy it; i try to let go and enjoy it because it enables sex and he says he loves to do it. i've tried suggesting he use his fingers more, he stop & start oral rather than spending ages there trying to bring me to orgasm but he seems not to hear me. the only way i orgasm is through penetration when i'm on top; he is on medication and finds it difficult to orgasm himself so mostly i give him oral sex to finish him off after i become dry again during the act. 

we are working hard to improve all areas of our relationship to save the marriage but i wonder if it's possible to fix this particular issue through counselling. i dread discussing it either in private or with our counselor because he will be hurt, think i've been lying for years (which i don't believe to be the case) and i don't want to add to the stress we're under. 

is it possible there's a medical reason for this dryness? is there any way to become sexually attracted to someone when he doesn't arouse you? am i kidding myself that this is fixable? has anyone been through this and come out the other side in a better place?

i'm in a real bind here and would appreciate some input.
thanks.


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

Right before sex, just masterbate and watch porn.. Your lube should be enough for the sex


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## Whatshisname (Jan 12, 2011)

Dryness is a side affect of many drugs, especially anti-depressants.
If your on any kind of meds then you may want to talk to your Dr.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

From a medical standpoint you can try this and see if it helps.

A Woman’s Touch -

Also estrogen cream from your doctor may help.

You are a little young but its possible you are experiencing some early perimenopause. This is a good site for info - Women to Women — Changing women's health — naturally

Can't help you with the not sexually turned on by your husband issue - if he continues to not be receptive to your verbal suggestions you might want to try a sex therapist or marriage counseling.


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## anonymousdub (Feb 19, 2011)

thank you for your input folks, i appreciate that.


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