# What is the thing you want to tell your better half about your sex life?



## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Sometimes its hard for us to tell our husband or wife what we want or what we are thinking about our sex life or our sexual relationship. 

I would love to tell my wife I want to give her a day in a cabin where we I am her boy toy or slave. I am very much the Dominate one in the marriage when it comes to sex. I do most of the reading about sex and bring toys into the picture, I am the kinky one that brings along the ropes and oils and lubs. I give the massages and light the candles.

I would love to be toy. Told what to do and how to do it. Told what I need to do to please her. Treat her like a Queen and do as I am told for the day or weekend. I guess I am having Submissive fantasys which is opposite of what I am in our relationship.


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## CupidScrewedUp (Sep 21, 2012)

I want my husband to TALK about sex with me, he clams up for some reason. I want him to be more open to trying new things but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to go about expressing this to him. I guess in a way I am embarrassed. Its so weird, I can talk about sex with anyone but him. I want to tell him what I want but I just worry he would think I was a freak lol.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

That I'd like one?


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## notperfectanymore (Mar 1, 2012)

CupidScrewedUp said:


> I want my husband to TALK about sex with me, he clams up for some reason. I want him to be more open to trying new things but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to go about expressing this to him. I guess in a way I am embarrassed. Its so weird, I can talk about sex with anyone but him. I want to tell him what I want but I just worry he would think I was a freak lol.


Same here, but hubby is the same way  neither of us can talk about it....I know I just have NEVER been able to...with ANYONE...we were both brought up in very "conservative" homes

There is so much I wish we could talk about...if he would, then I MIGHT be able to :scratchhead: but even then I'm not sure...


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'd like to ask for a PM but I'm a bit embarrassed.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Toffer said:


> That I'd like one?


Lol. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have told him pretty much everything I want to. Now I just want him to DO it.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

CupidScrewedUp said:


> I want my husband to TALK about sex with me, he clams up for some reason. I want him to be more open to trying new things but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to go about expressing this to him. I guess in a way I am embarrassed. Its so weird, I can talk about sex with anyone but him. I want to tell him what I want but I just worry he would think I was a freak lol.


I have a similar problem, but my husband is the one who gets embarrassed. I wish he'd open up! Allow himself to be completely lost in the moment. I have no problem telling him what I want, subtly and directly....to no avail, at times.

I'd really enjoy more oral (without having to ask)...he knows I like this, yet he rarely, if ever, goes down...

Maybe we need one of those sex workshops.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'd like to ask for a PM but I'm a bit embarrassed.


Prime Minister?

Sorry.. Im being obtuse I know. Post Mortem? (Ugh)

Power Mower!... no...no.. Preventive Maintenance... no...


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

ahhhh... laugh _prostate_

Im such a goober. heh.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

See, I'm too shy to even type it out! But ya, prostate. Specifically during a bj. That's blow.... ok, well you probably know that one.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

I had a girlfriend in college that would do the prostate thing.. I never asked for it she just did it. It was um... very effective. Almost made me jump out of my skin when she first went for it from surprise - but she persuaded me. She was talented in a creepy kind of way. Creepy as in _wow... you have alot of experience with this, dont you..._

I would never ask my wife for it since I know she would think it is totally gross... justifiably so. Frankly - if she isnt interested, neither am I. No worries. Typically I get a fair percentage of my jollies watching someone else having fun.. so if she is just 'playing along' I have no interest really.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> I have told him pretty much everything I want to. Now I just want him to DO it.


take the reigns, as it were. 

Tell the boy to take the skirt off and go to town! Behave like he was in some kind of Boris Vallejo paintng.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

I's zip zero nada..get busy.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

We aren't spring chickens anymore!! Sex at almost 40 isn't sex at 18-22. Rip your clothes off passion doesn't stay sustained for 20 years. As much as I love you things slow down it's all part of the life cycle.

Oh wait...........we already had this discussion and agreed while laughing the whole way.

"Yeah....girl Big Daddy don't bring the heat like he used to...might have to call in some back up players"

"your crazy"


etc etc etc all that friendly banter. It truly is one of biggest pet peeves when people say they are physically just as good as they were at 20-25!! You aren't unless you were a big fatty and lost a ton of weight you just aren't.

Physical prowess peaks in the mid 20's for most, so if you're 40+ saying your the best you've ever been NOT!!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Baby, our sex life is amazing and I am looking forward to many years of great lovemaking with you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's been done to death, talked over and dead and buried. You're the one who proclaimed "Never Again" so stop grumbling about what you think 'people should do' or what you resent every time you come home from a glorious man bashing session with your kaffeklatch friends. 

Seriously, zip it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

currently my better half is me...so i'd tell myself "a little to the left next time dear.and don't forget to lock the dogs out of the bedroom,they ruin your focus."


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> currently my better half is me...so i'd tell myself "a little to the left next time dear.and don't forget to lock the dogs out of the bedroom,they ruin your focus."


:rofl:


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

I'd tell her that I love what we have, but I'm also rapidly getting bored with it and that a little bit of 'other stuff' that I have mentioned to you would be nice to get. I'm not old, but I'm not young anymore either, and I'd like to be able to look back on my sex life and say 'yeah, I did that' to most things people consider to be rather bland. I miss the enthusiasm, desire and dedication to our sex life you exhibited at the beginning, and wish that sex would become a priority for you again, not just something I feel is more and more becoming a chore for you, especially anything outside of the norm.


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## MYM1430 (Nov 7, 2011)

I want to talk about sex with you but I am too embarassed to start the conversation. I don't want to seem desperate or complaining but I know that you will be hurt if I expressed my true feelings. I already know the hurts that you would likely bring to my attention as the cause of our impasse, and I fear that there is nothing I can do to soothe your pain.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> See, I'm too shy to even type it out! But ya, prostate. Specifically during a bj. That's blow.... ok, well you probably know that one.


Getting my prostate massaged by my wife is one of my all time favorite wish list items to try...but I don't have the guts to ask for it...I know it would gross her out. 

About 11 years ago, a nurse did this to me during a physical exam and spent some extra time massaging back there. I couldn't belive how good it felt in a strange way. It was totally unexpected, and I had a raging erection because of it. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing to me. I asked her why it felt "good" and she just smiled saying that there are a lot of wonderful nerve endings back there that can bring pleasure. 

This Physical exam was what stoked my Nurse fantasy to this very day.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

I really do appreciate our sex life and I am always grateful for what we have. I know that nobody can be perfect and I certainly don't want to force you to do something that you are uncomfortable with and I don't want to change you from who you are. But with that being said, I'm getting tired of carrying the heavier load when it comes to our sex life. It is always me that has to come up with suggestions of different things to try (positions, toys, lingerie, etc). It is me that initiates (80% of the time) and no matter how many times I try to talk about one of my requests (especially around lingerie or dressing "sexy"), I usually get nothing in return or what I do see is very short-lived. 
I know that I have said some callous and insensitive things in the past that have hurt your feelings and caused your self esteem to drop. For that, I am truly sorry...and I've told you so on multiple occasions.
I also have a couple of desires (prostate massage, possible pegging) that I am too embarrased to bring up, though I know I shouldn't be. You are my wife of 23+ years and we should be able to talk about anything. We have made a lot of progress since we were first married and for that, I am very grateful. But, at 45 years old, I'm terrified to think that this is the best that it will get.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

What sex life =(

I will have to Google "sex" to find out what it means so i can respond to your question!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I think I would love to be taken to a hotel room and for once I was not in charge but a slave to my mistress wife. I want her to make all the kinky sex decission. I want her to push my limits and explore me in any ways she desires. I would love to be told what to do and to find out she can have as many kinky wonderful thoughts as I do. 

I remember I once called her up and asked her to be laying ready for me when I got home from work. That with in 30 seconds from me walking in the door I want to be making love and not one word is to be spoken. She was to be waiting and ready to receive. It was one of the hottest things we have done and not one word was spoken at the time.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> I think I would love to be taken to a hotel room and for once I was not in charge but a slave to my mistress wife. I want her to make all the kinky sex decission. I want her to push my limits and explore me in any ways she desires. I would love to be told what to do and to find out she can have as many kinky wonderful thoughts as I do.
> 
> I remember I once called her up and asked her to be laying ready for me when I got home from work. That with in 30 seconds from me walking in the door I want to be making love and not one word is to be spoken. She was to be waiting and ready to receive. It was one of the hottest things we have done and not one word was spoken at the time.


:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have never felt so loved and desired without any expectations. Wow.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> We aren't spring chickens anymore!! Sex at almost 40 isn't sex at 18-22. Rip your clothes off passion doesn't stay sustained for 20 years. As much as I love you things slow down it's all part of the life cycle.
> 
> Oh wait...........we already had this discussion and agreed while laughing the whole way.
> 
> ...


I disagree.....experiance trumps youthfullness everytime.

I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was:smthumbup:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

reciprocation is key!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

chillymorn said:


> reciprocation is key!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I agree always key.

This morning I told my wife about one of my fantasy's about going for a walk and finding an old abandon barn that was standing but the house was gone. I made up the entire story while we were playing. I talked to her about how hot it was in the barn and how I had her tied up with her arms above her head. The more I got into the details the hotter things became. I would suggest you share your fantasy that you may never really do in real life. Explain that its just a fantasy and a story you want to share. who knows she might come to you and ask you to make it real on day.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I would like us to be more spontaneous. For us, PiV is more like an event that has to be planned out, prepared for and organized. "Okay, we have to wash up. Do you want me to wear this? Do you have the lube and the lotion? Where's the towel?" I swear I've already memorized everything she's going to say. 

I would like some spontaneity to take the rust off things and make the act new and refreshing instead of predictable and nigh scripted. It would be awesome if she would give into her animal instincts every now and then so we could have exciting, carnal sex.

Oh! I would also like a foot job, so get a pedicure!


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## NelsonTrouble (Jan 5, 2013)

After 15 years of marriage I still want/need you to come at me with heat and intensity and carnal desire....


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## JWilliams (Jul 2, 2012)

Why does the exciting and spotanious sex have to end after being married 20 years. 

I don't get it. My wife and I have been married for 20 years and I want to do all those teenager things.. Making out in a movie theater, frisky playing under the table at a restaurant. 

I was surprised that on a recent flight home she put her jacket in my lap and teased me until we landed.

Just because we age doesn't mean there can't sometimes still be a spark of love and spotanious pleasure


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

To My Better Half [stbh],

*1* - I am SERIOUS about the things I told you I want. The jist of it - be more dominant. You don't seem to have any problem with the idea of it but you hardly ever even try doing the many little things I told you I would like.  It's worst because you gave your ex those things even though you claim she didn't try at all to please you in bed and I do.

*2* - Just because you're angry doesn't give you a right to try to shame me for my sexuality. The way I like things in the bedroom, the things I am eagerly willing to do to please you, the things I am intrigued by do NOT make me less of a lady outside of the bedroom. You (who has far more experience than I and have tried far more crazy things) of all people shouldn't judge, I certainly don't judge you. I know you know this, I know it's a defense mechanism, I know you have nothing but respect for me... but please try to control yourself better when you get angry. IT'S NOT COOL! The only thing you will accomplish if you keep it up is pushing me away and making me more inhibited and insecure.

*3* - I think I might be a nympho. <.< Well, maybe not really, but I do want sex a lot more often than you think I do. A lot a lot a lot. Like 3 quickies and 2 looong good sessions every day... at least.

*4* - But as long as we are together I will only be sexual with you.  I respect and treasure my body but I give it to you, I hope you won't take that for granted just as I don't take you for granted.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Can I have some more please? Seriously I don't know what's wrong with me. We are 3 to 4 times a week but everytime I'm in bed with H I want it BAD. Foreplay isn't even necessary anymore. I feel like a nympho  hopefully its just hormones out of wack and can be treated.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

"when you're with me, you shouldn't worry about, or have, a comfort zone"


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## JWilliams (Jul 2, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Can I have some more please? Seriously I don't know what's wrong with me. We are 3 to 4 times a week but everytime I'm in bed with H I want it BAD. Foreplay isn't even necessary anymore. I feel like a nympho  hopefully its just hormones out of wack and can be treated.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Can you bottle up whatever you are taking and send a 55gal drum my way please.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

JWilliams said:


> Can you bottle up whatever you are taking and send a 55gal drum my way please.


LOL! You can have it all! I aint trying to kill my H while he is currently working 75 to 80 hrs per week
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

"Umm Hubby, I'm over here. Put the phone down. No, that doesn't mean you can turn the computer or t.v on. Hey! Look! I have fancy underwear on.....hello? Where'd you go? Get back in here! You sure look good...stop licking my face. You're disgusting. Stop it!"

"I'm done!"


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## WaitForIt... (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm hurting and feel neglected. I'm way past angry and almost defeated. I've told you everything I want and need. You won't do the same. Nothing has changed and I'm terrified it never will. I'm afraid that the rest of my life will consist of once (twice if I'm lucky and aggressive) on a weekend morning, only after showers is all this will ever be. I crave passion, desire, spontaneity. Maintenance sex is killing me. Not talking about it, not sharing things, its all slowly killing me. I'm depressed and feel hopeless. I need your help. Why don't you care? Why won't you open up and talk? Why do you always accuse me of starting a fight when I need to discuss it? Do you know how often I cry about us? I'm hollow, losing my mind and losing my love. Help. Please. Before its too late.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

WaitForIt... said:


> I'm hurting and feel neglected. I'm way past angry and almost defeated. I've told you everything I want and need. You won't do the same. Nothing has changed and I'm terrified it never will. I'm afraid that the rest of my life will consist of once (twice if I'm lucky and aggressive) on a weekend morning, only after showers is all this will ever be. I crave passion, desire, spontaneity. Maintenance sex is killing me. Not talking about it, not sharing things, its all slowly killing me. I'm depressed and feel hopeless. I need your help. Why don't you care? Why won't you open up and talk? Why do you always accuse me of starting a fight when I need to discuss it? Do you know how often I cry about us? I'm hollow, losing my mind and losing my love. Help. Please. Before its too late.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



WaitForIt....life is too short. I would tell him exactly what you just wrote above...that is VERY WELL SAID. You have nothing to lose by NOT telling him. If verbal communication is hard, just write it down. Any real man would appreciate your straight forward, honest feelings. I wish you the best!!!!!! :smthumbup:


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

I love kissing you. Your lips are scrumptious. So full and soft. I would love to make out to you anywhere, behind any door, in any car, on any couch, step, porch, or backyard. I would love for you to be more receptive to taking me in your arms and kissing me silly. Look into my eyes even when I try to hide. Let me feel your breath across my cheek and your lips at the base of my ear....more. I feel ageless in your arms. 

After 19 years of marriage, you can still make my heart flutter, put butterflies in my stomach, get get my panties dripping wet. I just have to tell you...baby ima freak. There is just about nothing short of pain, kids, pee, poop, blood, and animals, sexually, that you couldn't get me to agree to try at least once. But my ego is fragile and your rejection is more than I can bear. But if you ask me, ill tell you everything you need to know


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Thank you :d


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

"What on God's Grey Earth is wrong with you?"


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> We aren't spring chickens anymore!! Sex at almost 40 isn't sex at 18-22. Rip your clothes off passion doesn't stay sustained for 20 years. As much as I love you things slow down it's all part of the life cycle.
> 
> Oh wait...........we already had this discussion and agreed while laughing the whole way.
> 
> ...


Last night the wife and I made out like teenagers, passionate kissing, carressing, touching, then we raced to get our clothes off....Married 47 years the 2nd of this month......

Speak for yourself...........


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

What would I say? Hmm...

I feel like you don't appreciate me because you have allowed yourself to gain 120 lbs. You aren't strong like you used to be. You get worn out quickly. You're so big, we haven't been able to have missionary style sex for probably 15 years. I want that...no, I NEED that. But you would literally crush me. I need passion and lust and closeness and experimentation. I am tiny, trim, fit, athletic. People tell you frequently that you're lucky to have a "hot wife" like me. It's not fair that I have kept my body in good shape for you, but you haven't done that for me. Our once a month sex for 10 minutes in the same BORING position sucks. I'm sorry, our sex life SUCKS. It could be so much better. Don't you want it to be? Am I not attractive enough that you want to get in better shape so you can enjoy me more? 

Well that about sums it up.


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## Cobre (Feb 24, 2013)

"Yes I want to spice things up hotter than a Mexican fiesta….I just need time."


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Just do it....


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## kittykatz (Feb 22, 2013)

I Notice The Details said:


> Getting my prostate massaged by my wife is one of my all time favorite wish list items to try...but I don't have the guts to ask for it...I know it would gross her out.
> 
> About 11 years ago, a nurse did this to me during a physical exam and spent some extra time massaging back there. I couldn't belive how good it felt in a strange way. It was totally unexpected, and I had a raging erection because of it. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing to me. I asked her why it felt "good" and she just smiled saying that there are a lot of wonderful nerve endings back there that can bring pleasure.
> 
> This Physical exam was what stoked my Nurse fantasy to this very day.


I understand theres nerve endings there and that it probably feels great and all... but...

Its still nasty. If my husband asked me to do this to him, the only way Id even consider it would be if I had on a pair of rubber gloves, and a gas mask... and even then I'd be hesitant about it.


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

kittykatz said:


> I understand theres nerve endings there and that it probably feels great and all... but...
> 
> Its still nasty. If my husband asked me to do this to him, the only way Id even consider it would be if I had on a pair of rubber gloves, and a gas mask... and even then I'd be hesitant about it.


 :slap: :banghead:

Why? It *is not* nasty. If he defecates on you, that is nasty. Have you any idea how many fluids are exchanged during sex: vaginal, sweat, saliva, semen, just to name a few! As a matter of fact, there is nothing wrong with using latex gloves for this (assuming he is not allergic, of course).


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

kittykatz said:


> I understand theres nerve endings there and that it probably feels great and all... but...
> 
> Its still nasty. If my husband asked me to do this to him, the only way Id even consider it would be if I had on a pair of rubber gloves, and a gas mask... and even then I'd be hesitant about it.


Honey? Is that you?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Daneosaurus said:


> :slap: :banghead:
> 
> Why? It *is not* nasty. If he defecates on you, that is nasty. Have you any idea how many fluids are exchanged during sex: vaginal, sweat, saliva, semen, just to name a few! As a matter of fact, there is nothing wrong with using latex gloves for this (assuming he is not allergic, of course).


Thank You Daneosaurus! 

Of course, I would be sparkling clean back there, and the "Wife/Nurse" would have a glove on. I still think it would feel great and be strangely erotic at the same time...but, it is still a fantasy that will most likely just stay a fantasy. 

They say the prostate gland is equivalent to the female clitoris. I am confident enough in my manhood to at least investigate the potential pleasure with my loving wife if she were up to it!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

kittykatz said:


> I understand theres nerve endings there and that it probably feels great and all... but...
> 
> Its still nasty. If my husband asked me to do this to him, the only way Id even consider it would be if I had on a pair of rubber gloves, and a gas mask... and even then I'd be hesitant about it.


I agree! Except I'm not even going to consider it.


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> Thank You Daneosaurus!
> 
> Of course, I would be sparkling clean back there, and the "Wife/Nurse" would have a glove on. I still think it would feel great and be strangely erotic at the same time...but, it is still a fantasy that will most likely just stay a fantasy.
> 
> *They say the prostate gland is equivalent to the female clitoris.* I am confident enough in my manhood to at least investigate the potential pleasure with my loving wife if she were up to it!


The prostate is not homologous to the clitoris, the penis is. The Skene's gland (aka G-spot) is the homologous equivalent of the prostate.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Daneosaurus said:


> The prostate is not homologous to the clitoris, the penis is. The Skene's gland (aka G-spot) is the homologous equivalent of the prostate.


You are correct....I mistyped this. That is what I was thinking at 4:42 AM but it didn't come out that way.

Thanks!


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I went out of town this weekend and one evening I called home around 10 pm. The wife was already in bed and our conversation became very open and a bit sexy. We shared a few secrete desires.

I am looking forward to getting home as I told her about my desire to be a weekend sex toy for her where I would treat her as a princess and do anything she desired. I would do what ever she wanted without any hesitation. She liked the idea.

I am excited to not take the lead for once and be the toy. Looks like I am going to be tied up for a while so to speak.


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## JFalwaysrunning (May 23, 2013)

That its ok for her to have fantasies and express them to me. In the 11 years we've been together whenever we talk about sex and I ask her if she has any fantasies I can fulfill I get nothing. We even have two books with thousands of fantasies and she can't come up with anything that turns her on. Its frustrating. It then makes me not to want to come forward with mine.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Please, please, please start talking to me about sex. I cannot read your mind and its way too easy to take your silence as disinterest and rejection.

Been married 18 years and all I want to do is go away with you for the weekend and have sex the entire time. So much we haven't done yet - loosten up, live a little!


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Your insanity, migraines, lack of passion for me and weight problem is starting to drive me away. Still after 20 years of ups and downs, I love you.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> Your insanity, migraines, lack of passion for me and weight problem is starting to drive me away. Still after 20 years of ups and downs, I love you.


how much does she weigh?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

scarletbegonias said:


> how much does she weigh?


210 5'6"


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I swear I'm not being sarcastic here... would her weight become a non-issue if she had tons of passion for you?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I swear I'm not being sarcastic here... would her weight become a non-issue if she had tons of passion for you?


Yes I would not even see it at this point.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> Yes I would not even see it at this point.


 thanks for answering,I really appreciate it!


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## BruisedGirl (Apr 4, 2013)

WaitForIt... said:


> I'm hurting and feel neglected. I'm way past angry and almost defeated. I've told you everything I want and need. You won't do the same. Nothing has changed and I'm terrified it never will. I'm afraid that the rest of my life will consist of once (twice if I'm lucky and aggressive) on a weekend morning, only after showers is all this will ever be. I crave passion, desire, spontaneity. Maintenance sex is killing me. Not talking about it, not sharing things, its all slowly killing me. I'm depressed and feel hopeless. I need your help. Why don't you care? Why won't you open up and talk? Why do you always accuse me of starting a fight when I need to discuss it? Do you know how often I cry about us? I'm hollow, losing my mind and losing my love. Help. Please. Before its too late.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I find myself feeling this way more often than I'd like to... you are not alone. =/

Best of luck.


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## BruisedGirl (Apr 4, 2013)

JFalwaysrunning said:


> That its ok for her to have fantasies and express them to me. In the 11 years we've been together whenever we talk about sex and I ask her if she has any fantasies I can fulfill I get nothing. We even have two books with thousands of fantasies and she can't come up with anything that turns her on. Its frustrating. It then makes me not to want to come forward with mine.


Everyone has fantasies. Maybe she is afraid you will judge her? Maybe sharing one of your own would open her up to sharing one of hers.


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## BruisedGirl (Apr 4, 2013)

Daneosaurus said:


> The prostate is not homologous to the clitoris, the penis is. The Skene's gland (aka G-spot) is the homologous equivalent of the prostate.


My G-spot has never been found. I feel like I'm missing out on something great. Don't get me wrong, I orgasm, but it's mostly from clitoral stimulation.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I want to know her fantasies. I have hinted subtly, I have hinted strongly, I have told her with absolute specificity. It would be easier to break into Ft Knox with a butter knife! Sometimes it depresses me that she won't confide in me.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

BruisedGirl said:


> My G-spot has never been found. I feel like I'm missing out on something great. Don't get me wrong, I orgasm, but it's mostly from clitoral stimulation.


BG, do you even know if you're capable of a G spot orgasm?

From what i understand, some woman have never experienced one and as you know, the G Spot is still a highly debated item


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> Just do it....


Actually, I'd like to modify this to:

Just do ME!


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

Reciprocate


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

You can spank me harder, a lot harder. Hard enough that I still have the mark in the morning. 

(But I'm afraid I'd freak him out . . . )


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> Yes I would not even see it at this point.


It still would be better for her health and for the both of them for her to drop about 50 lbs.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Stop talking to me during sex.

You always call me from your boyfriend's house and interrupt me when it's 3rd down, short yardage in a tight game.


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## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> Last topic inspired me.
> 
> Husband, when you hit the right buttons and make me feel like a queen, I'm absolute putty in your hands. I'm open and down for just about anything when you put in the effort to pay attention to ME for a few minutes. Whatever you want, whatever it is, all you have to do is focus on what I love for just a bit and whatever you want from me, it's yours. For days after as well. There is an adage "a man is like lineoleum, lay both right and you can walk on them for 40 years." I'm a man in that regard. I will put up with an extraordinary amount of BS if I'm having phenomenal sex. The flipside is that sub-optimal sex makes me very cranky, which is the part I think you understand now. So...quality over quantity any flipping day please.
> 
> Also, I wish you were more open to sensuality. I miss mixing food and sex. I miss candles. I miss handcuffs and incense and making dinner kitchen table sex. I miss body painting poetry. I miss our *****lights* and our canopy and everything fun and messy we've sacrified for practicality. I'm so low-key in every other regard that you've gotten the sense that I'm okay with practical low key sex, but I miss the hedonism. I really do.


Quoting myself from last year

Today I want to tell him:

Thanks for indulging your wife.  Also, thanks for making me a believer in the male multiple orgasm.


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## SweetAltina (May 30, 2013)

I'd tell him to be rougher with me. I've never had it all out layed on me.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Just come and sit on the stallion and grind away. I love to see and feel your passion!


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## CreekWalker (May 31, 2013)

....The way things are....I'm afraid my limits are low and I'm afraid of what will happen if things don't change. You are the only person I'm interested in right now...but you're not the only person who is interested in me. PLEASE please please...I'm right here wanting only you...Please want me back.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Today I want my wife to know that I been thinking about her all day. Undressing her in my mind and cant wait to get her alone at home when there are no kids around. I want to wake her up in the middle of the night and feed her desires. I want to know her secret fantasys and make them all cum true. That she can drive me nuts by doing nothing but preparing a meal or talking on the phone. 

So many time when she is stepping out of the shower I wish I was the Towel that was wrapped around her body! That I love when you ask to rub lotion onto your back or neck and that when we sit on the couch at night and you put your feet in my lap I enjoy rubbing them and giving you that foot massage.

When things at work get slow I pass the time dreaming about you. Today things are very slow and your on my mind,


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

.....that she needs to get a sex drive......


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

That I am sooooo glad we are empty nesters because I really enjoy watching your big beautiful naked tan body walk by with your afternoon snack. I may have to join you for my afternoon snack...bj..;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

Today I would tell her that I so enjoyed her waking me up last night. I was exhausted and was sound asleep when she came to bed. Being a very cold night I remember her snuggling up close and they her hands began to rub and caress. I didn't move but I really enjoyed her touch. I have to say I was at horny level at about a 2. Meaning I was preferring sleep over anything more. 

More came as she rolled me over on my back and just was enjoying touching and soon there was extra warm. It felt so good and I was not going to stop this but had no desire to go to the finish line so to speak. 10 min later I was moaning and twisting she took me to the edge and soon guided me over it. I told her how great that was and how much I enjoyed her waking me.

So I want to tell her how much I love her and how good it is when she take charge and initiates.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I got a message from her today that I should bring home a movie and that we are going to spend tonight in bed watching the movie eating pizza and listening to the rain. She was going to stop and get a bottle of wine. Sounds perfect to me after this week. I love my wife!


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

This is what I would like to tell my husband but I never would because I don't want him to feel worse than he does (he has ED and a low T count for 9 years)

I accept that we can't have intercourse with each other but I really wish you would put down your barriers and be more intimate with me, snuggle with me in bed without our clothes on, let us touch each other and kiss me passionately. I really miss that. I want to feel desired. I'd love for you to touch me more and I want to touch you without you feeling like it has to lead to anything and then get frustrated that you can't complete the act. I'd love it if you told me you wanted me to come to bed to snuggle with you instead of telling me to come if I want to. When I come to bed to snuggle with I'd love it if you acted like you wanted me to be there and tell me instead of feeling pressured. I don't want you to feel pressured. I just want you to hold me and make me feel like you want me to be there in your arms despite the fact you say you don't have the desire. You tell me I shouldn't feel rejected and that you are attracted to me but I still do feel rejected at times. I love you, I love being married to you but I wish we had had a more passionate love life.


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## onedge (Nov 27, 2013)

I actually just had a vent to husband last night about what I wanted. We have had so many of these discussions but obviously he still isn't listening.

He is LD (ED/low T) and I am the HD. I finally let him have it (not yelling) and let it all out there that it is he that has the hangup and expectations. That he needs to figure out in his head that play does not mean orgasm. It is just play and attention. That 20 minutes of frisky play feel just as good if not better. I really don't give a crap about the big "O" every time. What I love is the attention and feeling desired. The O last only a few minutes and that is not what I remember later. What brings a smile to my face the next day is how good I felt about myself. That when you snuck up behind me in the grocery store and gave a little rub was so spontaneous and took my surprise. I loved it.

I just wish he would get it through his head that flirting/play does not mean having an obligation for orgasm. That even intercourse doesn't mean it is our duty to have an ultimate ending. Quit telling yourself that I can't enjoy sex without being goal oriented.

Maybe I should have been gentle and supportive but I have been that for way too long. Doing nothing to help your situation is a choice. As far as any other goal oriented expectations go, those are his expectations and quit deflecting them on me. That while he is trying to convince himself that he has no control due to ED that he in reality has all the control. That my boundary is I will not be turned into a begging, needy person by his control. That he needs to figure out what part is his physical issues and what part is his laziness. I am tired of the crap of I enjoy being intimate with you but I don't think about it outside the bedroom. So it takes a concentrated effort to think about it and act. My nature isn't words of affirmation but I still take the time to do it.

I also did probably the big no no. I don't know if I gave an ultimatum or a threat but I told him that if he continues this mother/child relationship with me and not maintain a balance in our marriage then I will truly treat him like a roomate and that means equal chores and a life of my own. I told him that I refuse to be a doormat to his needs. Also, forget all those fruitless promises because I no longer trust them.

He quickly ran and got a paper/pen and asked for my boundaries.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I love you, dh, in every way. I love how you are open to all my fantasies. I love how open your mind is, and how willing you are to consider that you might be wrong. 

Thanks for doing things for me that you yourself don't need, just because I want them. A million thanks, my love.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

*Re: Re: What is the thing you want to tell your better half about your sex life?*



I Notice The Details said:


> Getting my prostate massaged by my wife is one of my all time favorite wish list items to try...but I don't have the guts to ask for it...I know it would gross her out.
> 
> About 11 years ago, a nurse did this to me during a physical exam and spent some extra time massaging back there. I couldn't belive how good it felt in a strange way. It was totally unexpected, and I had a raging erection because of it. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing to me. I asked her why it felt "good" and she just smiled saying that there are a lot of wonderful nerve endings back there that can bring pleasure.
> 
> This Physical exam was what stoked my Nurse fantasy to this very day.


Hmm this kind of shocked me, as that nurse was totally unprofessional and you were married... if a male nurse did (try) anything like this, I would make a scene and filed a complaint, married or not married, yuck...

I went on holiday to Egypt, the massage guy tried to go from my shoulders down to my butt, but I kept correcting him. After me, my friend got a foot massage , and got raped by him... She froze and didn't know how to cope. Men seem to think they get lucky if something like this happens to them....bah...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Oh, Catfan, that is terrible what happened to your friend! I am so sorry!


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## Jakobi Greenleaf (Sep 19, 2012)

*Re: Re: What is the thing you want to tell your better half about your sex life?*



ScarletBegonias said:


> I swear I'm not being sarcastic here... would her weight become a non-issue if she had tons of passion for you?


My wife and I have done a remarkable job keeping our weight on lockstep. I am 205, and I'd bet the contents of my bank account that she is between 200-205. The difference between us is that I'm 5'11 and she is 5'3. I'm not in good shape, I just have a larger frame to carry it on. I am totally in lust with my wife.


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## johnAdams (May 22, 2013)

The first thing that comes to mind is WOW....like 10 minutes ago.....yes I am bragging, but what the hell


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> currently my better half is me...so i'd tell myself "a little to the left next time dear.and don't forget to lock the dogs out of the bedroom,they ruin your focus."


awwww my little comment from 2012 when DH was on his own getting therapy 


DH you do it like you're reading my mind and know every thing I need. The past few days you've really been making a spectacular show of passion,enthusiasm and willingness to step outside your comfort zone. I know I've already said these things to you but typing it out makes me appreciate your ways all the more.


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## vcard (Nov 30, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> Getting my prostate massaged by my wife is one of my all time favorite wish list items to try...but I don't have the guts to ask for it...I know it would gross her out.
> 
> About 11 years ago, a nurse did this to me during a physical exam and spent some extra time massaging back there. I couldn't belive how good it felt in a strange way. It was totally unexpected, and I had a raging erection because of it. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing to me. I asked her why it felt "good" and she just smiled saying that there are a lot of wonderful nerve endings back there that can bring pleasure.
> 
> This Physical exam was what stoked my Nurse fantasy to this very day.


I thought doctors were the ones who did exams...no?


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