# Trapped in marriage with a cheater, no way out



## Trappedin (Jul 30, 2012)

my wife cheated on me for 6 months and i just found out a week ago. we have been married for 12 years and have 2 kids together (one d and one s). i love her dearly but this betrayal is hard to swallow. i found a text on her cell phone from a coworker telling her to meet him in a particular hotel and calling her babe. i went ballistic and asked her about it and she came clean right away. she told me that they had been good friends and then they began sleeping with each other 6 months ago. my world was crushed and i just tried to understand.

she said my main fault was that she was no longer in love with me, i was a poor provider and she was sick of the one always bringing home the paycheck. she felt burdened by the responsibility since i worked part time only. she had insisted to be the one to work full time and i work part time so that i can take care of the kids. it was best for her to work because she made more money but now she is telling me that i should have known that eventually she wanted me to start working more too. the sickest part is that on 3 separate occasions, she had sex with her coworker in the evening (5 or 6 pm) and later that night (12 or 1), she had sex with me! why would she do this? i almost threw up when i heard that my tongue and mouth had been in the same place that her lover had been in. i even yelled at her for this and she said that it was no big deal because she took a shower. oh, but the had unprotected sex! i asked her if she had gotten pregnant, what would she have done? she said that she probably would have never told me to keep her secret.

i can't leave now because of the kids and because it has been hard for me to find work in my field. i suffered a back injury earlier and have never been the same. my wife makes most of the money like i said and she would die rather than give me anything. she has not even apologized to me but has agreed to work it out with me if i start making some changes.

i am too embarrassed to talk to my friends so i decided to get some help without telling people who i am.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

I'm to tired to post much but your WW will have to NC, no contact with the OM this means WW will have to leave her job or OM will.

Your WW most likely will continue to sneek and meet with the OM to continue the affair.

To kill this affair you must expose it. Tell WW parents and siblings. Tell OMW, and HR and the CEO and the Board of Directors where they work.

Also the kids must be told in an age appropriate way that mom has a boy friend and has been going on dates with him.

Don't let WW blame you and don't leave the home it will only hurt you legally.

Do not tell WW that you are going to expose. Or threaten her with give up OM or you will expose. It will only warn WW and OM to do damage control before you expose.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Oh really, you and your wife mutually agree that you should work part time, plus you have an injury, and so therefore she gets to mentally justify sleeping with another man? And exposing you to STDs? I will tell you that most cheaters re-write marital history, often expect you to be a mind-reader, and engage in blameshifting, but she really is gunning for some type of record.

My strongest recommendation right now is to read No More Mr. Nice Guy and stop buying into the idea that you are at fault for her extremely poor choices.

I would tell her, that you'll _consider_ attending marital counseling and to work on the marriage, but she has a long list of things to do before that can happen, including for one to get tested for STDs, stop all contact with the OM (and any other men she's sleeping with), and to demonstrate transparency (show you all texts, email accounts, passwords, and account for her time, etc.).

She will likely say no, but whether she does or not, your very next step is a lawyer's office, where you need to find out what your rights are with respect to child support, custody, property, etc. Since she is the primary breadwinner, and you have an injury, it is just possible that your situation isn't as dire as you think. On the other hand, you may find out that your jurisdiction does not favor dads. But either way, find out where you stand so she doesn't hold all the cards, she appears to be lording that over you, which doesn't sound particularly remorseful to me.


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## skip76 (Aug 30, 2011)

First she cheated and now she has you convinced it was your fault and you have no options. She needs a wake up call because you hold all the cards. You need two things right now, trust and patience. You have to trust us strangers and not your wife. Patience because any changes will take time. You need to get prepared to be a completely different person, filled with self confidence and demanding respect. Now do exactly as these people say even if it seems extreme. You will need to spy on your wife and probably start a divorce to get her to realize that you have changed. Do not waver. Good luck , you deserve better. Oh ya. Get to the gym.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Sorry man.


> he would die rather than give me anything. she has not even apologized to me but has agreed to work it out with me if i start making some changes.


Good Lord. You don't change a damm thing. She belives she's superman here, she holds the power.
Let me tell you. She won't stop. As she's still working with OM there's NO CHANCE in hell she'll stop. Specially because she's not even a inch remorseful. She told you clearly She's not in love with you and obviously doesn't respect you.
Relpect yourself then. You need a plan. Lawyer up, find where you stand, file, go for full custody.
Kick out that unremorseful entitled b!tch! Pack her things and tell her to love with OM. Rock her world. 
Display the home snooping tools. Gather evidence
Is OM married or in a relationship? Find out his SO and expose the whole thing ASAP. Don't warn her about you are going to do it. Don't confront OM. He could be anyone.
Start the 180:
The 180 degree rules


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

Well Trappedin, put on your man-pants and grab life by the horns. If I were you I would save some cash on the side and hire the meanest divorce lawyer you can find. I don't know how alimony works where you live, but you may very well be entitled to it (and child support) if you're a stay at home dad that earns less than your spouse. Get some consultations ASAP.

Do you know who she's cheating with? Is he married/have a girlfriend? Expose this affair sky-high. There is no shame in exposing her disgusting betrayal. _She_ broke her vows and betrayed your marriage. What, _exactly_, do you have to be ashamed of? Tell your family, tell her family, and if you know who the OM's girlfriend/spouse is, tell her as well. 

Since she's dating a co-worker, you _may_ want to expose her affair at work. Be warned, however, that _might_ get her fired, and that might affect any alimony you get.

Do a hard 180. She wants to have an affair? Fine. Let her. Focus on _you_ and your kids. Take charge of your life, and don't let her dictate or control you.

Don't ever be embarrassed to ask friend for help. What good are friends for, if not for helping one another? See if they can't help you find a lawyer, or get better work. 

*Take charge*.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Inform the HR and this guy's wife. Gather more evidence. Expose her to her family and friends.Remove her from the position of power.

And don't even think about reconciling unless she begs you to


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## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

The problem here isn't you. It's her. She's trumping up justifications for her affair and blame shifting this crap to you. She wants you to up your game? Yee-ah. Typical. I call this the "Humiliating Dance of 'Pick Me'" -- that's when the oh so special cheater wants you to compete for the awesome chance to "win" them. 

Hell to the NO. You need to take your power back. You begin to do that by seeing a lawyer and figuring out your options, like child support and spousal support. Next you expose the affair. You tell the coworker's wife or HR. 

I would suggest you tell your wife if she doesn't like your terms, then fine, your lawyer will start taking depositions at her workplace, of her affair partner, of her coworkers, etc. 

Get independent of her. But don't internalize her judgment!


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this 
Just Let Them Go
No More Mr Nice Guy


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Please find your genitalia and get your head on straight ( I was going to say soemthing a bit more graphic, but didn't want to get banned).

Find a shark divorce attorney NOW!

File NOW!

You are likely entitled to spousal support, likely to get custodial parent status (given your circumstances) and give this Wh0r3 the boot!


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

I think I would have died if my husband responded to his affair like this.

The worst thing you could ever do is to accept that you must make changes. She is the one that needs to make changes.

My perfect world advice would be to start working full time, get a lawyer and let her have it. I would go after alimony, child support, make her pay for any daycare that will now be needed, the house, the best car, you name it.

Regardless of what you do, please know you have no responsibility for her affair and behavior. It must be very hard to be her.

My best to you. I hope she gets abducted by aliens. Really mean aliens.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Expose, expose, expose.

It's obvious that she doesn't respect you.

If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

Time to chuck your feelings for her aside and get to work on yourself *first*.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Yet another omega-ized cuckold SAHD, Mr. Mom (at the wife's instigation) get's to chow down on creampie and sloppy seconds. Take the red pill.

Then file for divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with exposing but....

with the current job market not at her place of employement.


Is the other man (OM) married or does he have a gf? If so expose teh affair to her. He will be so busy trying to save that relationship that he will most likely dump your wife. And his wife might very well put pressure on him to quit is job to get away from your wife.

Did your wife say anything to you before she started the affair about her wanting you to go back to work full time?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

If you're set on divorce, go 180 hard and start looking for work ASAP. Use the time allotted to get back on your feet so that you're in a position to divorce your wife.

Like others have said, expose the affair to HR and everyone else.

Her reasons for cheating are despicable and further highlights this double standard some women have, but that's for another time.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

I am so sorry that you're here. The marriage that you knew is dead. The wife that you knew is also dead. Bury them both. Mourn them. And then get ready to do battle with the stranger that's taken over your wife's body.

I find that what helps me in tough situation is to think about the absolute worst case scenario and work my way backwards from there. Believe it or not, things will eventually get better. Expose her lying cheating azz to all of your family and friends. Also, expose the OM to his wife or girlfriend. And be sure to eat and take care of yourself -- your kids are depending on you.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> think about the absolute worst case scenario and work my way backwards from there.


:iagree:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Your wife was punishing you for giving you exactly what she wanted you to give her.*

Can you have a marriage with someone who is such a contrarian?

She needs to be made to see that she is at fault. 

She has disrespected you and your children. However, that's another point. As well as getting checks for STD/HIV, you will need to obtain DNA checks on your children, even if just to squash any attempts by your wife to pretend you are not their father in order for her to crush you any further.


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

Trappedin said:


> my wife cheated on me for 6 months and i just found out a week ago. we have been married for 12 years and have 2 kids together (one d and one s). i love her dearly but this betrayal is hard to swallow. i found a text on her cell phone from a coworker telling her to meet him in a particular hotel and calling her babe. i went ballistic and asked her about it and she came clean right away. she told me that they had been good friends and then they began sleeping with each other 6 months ago. my world was crushed and i just tried to understand.
> 
> she said my main fault was that she was no longer in love with me, i was a poor provider and she was sick of the one always bringing home the paycheck. she felt burdened by the responsibility since i worked part time only. she had insisted to be the one to work full time and i work part time so that i can take care of the kids. it was best for her to work because she made more money but now she is telling me that i should have known that eventually she wanted me to start working more too. the sickest part is that on 3 separate occasions, she had sex with her coworker in the evening (5 or 6 pm) and later that night (12 or 1), she had sex with me! why would she do this? i almost threw up when i heard that my tongue and mouth had been in the same place that her lover had been in. i even yelled at her for this and she said that it was no big deal because she took a shower. oh, but the had unprotected sex! i asked her if she had gotten pregnant, what would she have done? she said that she probably would have never told me to keep her secret.
> 
> ...


you can probably get alimony and custody from here, you do realize that?


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

I had some of the same experiences you got. 

Same night, same F$^%&#* BED!!!

Anyway, you have been married for a while:
You will have a claim to alimony. She can fight it all she wants, you tell a court. 
And get a lawyer that fights for you. If the court tells you to get a joband work more, claim sexism. They wouldn't tell that to a female. 

And you can probably get custody since the kids probably relate more to you. 

Check your state laws though. Because if you live in like South Carolina I think it is, they don't look to kindly to cheaters. 
But if you live in Texas, I am sad to say it, but I think you will get shafted by the courts.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Juicer said:


> I had some of the same experiences you got.
> 
> Same night, same F$^%&#* BED!!!
> 
> ...


You are wrong if you think that an attorney will not tell a woman to get a job if a woman is in the same position that he's in.

Depending on the state, some have no alimony for marriages under 20 years.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

You are still living with her ?? I mean you are still letting her live in the same house as you and the kids ?? I would be on the row by now. She took a shower, but did she douch ?? Did you even ask ?? Ask her how she can do that to her children father and still call herself a DECENT, MORAL woman. Ask her why she hates you so much. Have you at least called her a few GOOd names ??

Wait a minute,, is this JB100 ???


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

To be truthful, you need to get evidence like yesterday. I would get them fired so DAMN fast it would make their head spin. PPL will say not to get her fired, but if she has done this for real, then I would rather eat from a food bank an flip bergers than be around this this this, AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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## shazam (Nov 7, 2011)

OldWolf57 said:


> To be truthful, you need to get evidence like yesterday. I would get them fired so DAMN fast it would make their head spin. PPL will say not to get her fired, but if she has done this for real, then I would rather eat from a food bank an flip bergers than be around this this this, AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


This is terrible advice, if he wants to get out he needs her job for alimony AND custody. DO NOT report them!!! A moral victory w/ a woman like her is meaningless. If you report them you really will be TRAPPED.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Trapped,

First of all you are not trapped in your marriage.

But you really need to take back control.

When you have a spouse that feels so entitled to cheat like your wife does it truly shows you just how selfish she has become.

It also shows you she has zero respect for you, yourfamily and the marriage.

You can decide if you want to R or D.

But no matter what you do you need to expose the A. To your family and most likely your friends. 

You cannot let her have that continued idea in her mind that since she is the main provider she can sleep with anyone she wants and spread STD's because her only responsibility is to earn more money than you.

Also, since you know who the OM is, if he is married you expose the A to his wife. You proviide some evidence such as emails or texts and you nail him too so the A is out in the light.

I would not expose at work since she is the main provider at this time.

Do not let her demean you. She is in the "fog". Do not let her cake walk through this Affair. 

Show her some consequences for her lousy actions or she will just do this again.

Reemember, your WW is no longer your best friend. She is a liar and a cheat. And will continue to do so unless you actively stop it the affair.

She needs counselling but not until she stops blaming you for all the problems. That is horse crap.

Also go see an attorney so you know your rights in case you lean towards D. Start collecting evidence just incase and secure it.

But most of all expose, expose, expose and do not tell her what you are doing.

It is time to rock her world instead of the OM doing it for you!!!!

Get busy and fight back.

HM64


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

shazam said:


> This is terrible advice, if he wants to get out he needs her job for alimony AND custody. DO NOT report them!!! A moral victory w/ a woman like her is meaningless. If you report them you really will be TRAPPED.


:iagree:

Getting her fired would at best be a Pyrrhic victory. Sure, it would feel good in the short run -- but you want to hit her where it really hurts -- and that would be in the pocketbook.


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## Ansley (Apr 5, 2010)

Call me naive but I believe there is always a way out. Once you get strong enough to say Im done and not being treated this way...she may change her tune. Especially if you tell her you will tell everyone what she did...family, coworkers, friends etc... I think you have alot more going for you (legally at least) than you think.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

happyman64 said:


> I would not expose at work since she is the main provider at this time.



That.

Go ahead and go nuclear, but she needs too keep her job.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Trappedin, as has been said you are likely not in such a desperate situation as you imagine. In most states the laws are set up to protect exactly your kind of problem, a stay-at-home parent.

First, go consult with a good divorce attorney to find out the FACTS in your state. Are you entitled to alimony? How much and for how long? How likely are you to get full custody of the kids? How much child support will she have to pay you (this you can probably find easily using an online child support calculator for your state). How does your back injury play into the finances of your situation? What might be expected of you in terms of finding full time work? Does infidelity make a difference in court? Is there an unofficial advantage to having proof of her affair?

Call several attorneys and ask them questions. Most attorneys will give you a free 10 or 15 minute phone or in-person consultation.

Secondly I would do nothing to try to end her affair. In my opinion I would divorce her. So with the goal being the best possible outcome in the divorce, your best strategy is to let her keep the affair going. Don't expose to anybody. But DO collect evidence! Let her think you are being meek, but in the background become the tiger. Read Sun-Tzu "The Art of War" and apply it. Very short book, very good read. Follow your attorney's advice. Gather evidence, keep a journal of your parenting activities, keep a journal of her cheating and her lack of parenting. In a short while you will be ready to file for D and to get custody of the kids.

dadsdivorce.com has some excellent information in the forums.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Count, I would live under an overpass before I let that that woman, never mind, you guys are right. I am just so glad I like the woods.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

cantthinkstraight said:


> Expose, expose, expose.
> 
> It's obvious that she doesn't respect you.
> 
> ...


CantthinkStraight,

I read your story several times.

I cried.

Sorry.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

What they said. 
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know how people can be so cruel. 
Get yourself into counseling ASAP. And get a lawyer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

Trappedin said:


> she has not even apologized to me but has agreed to work it out with me if i start making some changes.


She cheats on you but is willing to work it out if you make changes. If you accept that line you are more beta than your post suggests.

No matter what the circumstance is, your spouse cannot believe that divorce is not an option. If she does, you'll find yourself on the losing end of lines like "if I start making changes".


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

shazam said:


> you can probably get alimony and custody from here, you do realize that?


Also if you live in the US you should be able to get SSDI if you have a back injury. 

I think though going after her for alimony, is a good thing. 

You are basically a dependent and you have provided household services while she worked.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> You are wrong if you think that an attorney will not tell a woman to get a job if a woman is in the same position that he's in.
> 
> Depending on the state, some have no alimony for marriages under 20 years.


Even in those states, judges typically award rehabilitative alimony of about three years for a dependent spouse married less than 20 years.


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## gardensparrow (Mar 19, 2012)

So sorry you found this out about your wife. I'm sure you're feeling a bit in shock here and it's probaby hard to figure out how to react and what the future holds. And, I wouldn't rush into any decisions right away. In fact, I'd suggest getting some input from a counselor. I think a professional could help you determine how sincere your wife is about wanting to make your marriage work and where to go from here. It's certainly not impossible to restore a relationship after infidelity, but I do think there needs to true repentance and a clear desire to do whatever it takes to rebuild trust. If this isn't where your wife is at, it might be worth looking into a strategy like Love Must Be Tough. In my time working at Focus on the Family, I've heard a lot of spouses in your shoes say this really helped them deal with their husband or wife's affair. Just a thought. Well, I'll certainly be praying for you. I'm sure you're feeling at the end of your rope here. Hang in there though!


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> Even in those states, judges typically award rehabilitative alimony of about three years for a dependent spouse married less than 20 years.


It all depends on his exact location and circumstances. The back injury is a significant factor, as are the kids if he gets full custody.

In my state the alimony is year for year up to 20. Then it becomes permanent. OP has been married 12 years, so if he lives in my state he would be _entitled_ to 12 years of alimony minimum. I think we are a bit old fashioned here still.

Trappedin, you really really really needs to talk to an attorney asap. Whether you are entitled to 3 years rehabilitative alimony or something different, you need accurate facts to make a good decision.


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## Trappedin (Jul 30, 2012)

i asked my wife more and more questions last night to see why she cheated. this only made her angry and finally she told me that it was not for 6 months but for 6 years and some months! she even told me that the kids (twins one d and one s..1.5 years old) most likely are not mine. i don't know what to do. i still love them but does that make me a fool? i took care of them and help them with everything. i play with them and take them to the park. i can't sleep at all now. last night, i just sat in the kids room and watched them sleep. i cried for once. what did i do to deserve this?

this morning she skipped work and told me that it was best to get a divorce because she loves this other guy (her coworker) and wants to have a family with him. she said that we should get a dna test and if i am not the father, then she will want to put his name on the birth certificate. i don't know what to do? should i take the dna test? if it says i am not the father, what then? can she take my (his) kids away? at this moment, i don't want to lose them.

i sit here and type this and the two kids are eating a snack. i still love them but is it right for me to be their father if i am not really their father?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Trappedin, I am sorry for this turn of events. *You did nothing to deserve this*. No matter what, you do not deserve this. None of us is a perfect spouse, and so yes you have made mistakes. But none of your mistakes, whatever they were, justify what has been done to you.

I think you need to talk to a therapist for your own sake. It is a good outlet when in crisis. If you prefer, a clergy member may be a good alternative. You need to talk in person to someone who you can absolutely trust and who can provide you with some unbiased guidance.

You also need to talk to a lawyer. Right now you could sink your own ship legally speaking. *Do not sign anything, do not verbally agree to anything.* In a moment of confusion, anguish, or frustration you might agree to something which later you regret.

Should you do the DNA test? That is not a simple question. Emotionally these kids are yours. You raised them, you think of them as yours, and they think of you as their father. Nothing can take that away!

A DNA test has the benefit of you getting truthful data about the biological origins of the children. There is value in truth. Plus your kids have the right to know who their biological dna donor is if it isn't you. At least when they become adults it is my opinion they have the right to know for their own health monitoring.

The downside to DNA testing is if they are not yours, or if some but not all are yours. The biological father could potentially try to get custody. _This is one reason you need to talk to a lawyer asap_. I doubt a court would snatch the kids from you to give them to some other man, but your really need good solid advice from a lawyer about the potential outcomes of paternity tests.

If your wife wants a divorce there is likely nothing you can do to stop it. Did I say it yet? _YOU NEED TO TALK TO A LAWYER IMMEDIATELY_.

dadsdivorce.com has some excellent information, and the forums are good too. Get yourself some individual therapy right away. If you need them, get meds for the short term to help knock down the anxiety or depression. We're here to listen or to advise whenever you need it.

No matter what happens, you will handle it.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Wtf. Your wife is a terrible person, Trapped. I only hope that you show her ZERO emotion or attention from here on out. She is dictating how your life will play out, and calling YOU selfish in the process (???!!!).

As for the DNA issue, I'd absolutely do the test, get thee to a lawyer immediately and seek counsel from here on out. Can't imagine the thought of having to give up your kids for any reason...sorry. The fact that your soon to be ex wife is using them as chess pieces is horrifying. If you are the father I'd have your lawyer release the dogs for custody. If they're OM's kids, as hard as it would be, might just want to disappear from your wife's life and let the lawyer chew her up and spit her out in the financial front...Perhaps there something you can sue OM for as well...sorry this just makes me really mad. 

Stand up for yourself and don't let her make the decisions here. This is YOUR life, and she's playing off your beta side expecting you to do whatever she wants.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

What a monster. I'm so sorry man.


> she said that we should get a dna test and if i am not the father, then she will want to put his name on the birth certificate. i don't know what to do? should i take the dna test? if it says i am not the father, what then? can she take my (his) kids away? at this moment, i don't want to lose them.


Talk to a shark lawyer ASAP! Specialized in family law. Do you love them? Then fight for them. I'm sure there're a ton of potential outcomes here. You need to talk to a lawyer and make things right. They are you children nonetheless. They don't know this man at all, do you want WW take them from you and let her force them to "love" this POSOM?.

There's big chance POSOM bail from this. DNA test means likely moeny from him.

Don't let that cruel b1tch bully you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Trapped.

You desperately need to expose her cheating to friends, family and her coworkers. And you need to do it yesterday because your wife is setting you up. She didn't up and leave during the last six years, do why suddenly is she is such a hurry?

Exposure will severally disrupt her plans and put her on the defensive. Right nw she believes she can mentally abuse you and get you to leave. She wants you out so the OM cn slip right in. Exposing the two of them will disrupt things and give you back sone control,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Please leave your man card at the door. It is hereby revoked.


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## sick. (Jul 18, 2012)

How the Hell is the fact that you're a stay at home dad Any excuse for her to cheat on you!! This makes me mad, this hits close to home, as I'm a stay at home mom... and oh my the kids migjt not even be yours!?? Get a lawyer.. fast..


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Trapped,
Your wife is not Only a selfish monster but a wayward wacko!

Can you sue your own wife for alienation of affection???

After last night's bombshell you really need to see an attorney.

They have nice insane aslyum's for spouses like this.

Get to the damn attorneys office pronto and do a D&A test.

And please make yourself a promise. Put your wife on cheaterville so she does not screw up anymore guys or families. And out her to your entire family on both sides.

No man shoud keep this crap silent.

You made my prayer list tonight.

HM64
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

Inform her boss and co-workers, family, friends etc!!! Make sure the bubble is bursted and all see them for what they are!!


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Do not do anything about a DNA test until you talk to a lawyer.


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## missmolly (Jun 10, 2012)

:iagree:


theroad said:


> Do not do anything about a DNA test until you talk to a lawyer.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

In most States, a child (or children) born of the marriage is considered a child of the marriage which means that regardless who the biological father is, the husband is considered legally the father and thus responsible for the child. If you've bonded with the children and want to remain their father, then you may get a chance to do so. It is best to consult with a divorce attorney to find out what your parental rights and responsibilities are.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Thor said:


> It all depends on his exact location and circumstances. The back injury is a significant factor, as are the kids if he gets full custody.
> 
> In my state the alimony is year for year up to 20. Then it becomes permanent. OP has been married 12 years, so if he lives in my state he would be _entitled_ to 12 years of alimony minimum. I think we are a bit old fashioned here still.
> 
> Trappedin, you really really really needs to talk to an attorney asap. Whether you are entitled to 3 years rehabilitative alimony or something different, you need accurate facts to make a good decision.



Agreed. It depends on the state. OP needs to see an attorney pronto.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Trapped:

You need to see an attorney, YESTERDAY.

Stop questioning the situation.

This woman is trying to confuse you so she get create inaction in you and bamboozle you. 

Get your butt to a good attorney.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Do the DNA test, if the children are not your then why you want to grow someones illegal children. They are only 1.5 yrs so it may be easy for you to get rid of the emotions, but after few yrs it will be more difficult for you to detach from them, even if you wanted to.


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