# very hard to keep my cool



## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

My husband left me 2 weeks ago and took the bed out of the spare room, a chest of drawers, all my bags for life, teabags, coffee, cheese knife, large sieve and long mirror. Although these are only trivial things, each time I noticed something was missing I would get upset again. I suffer from depression, so I am up and down all the time. My husband has suffered from depression for years and brought me down with him.
I was just about to go to bed when I noticed that a large towel had gone missing. I texted my husband to ask him to bring any household stuff back with him tomorrow and we'll sort it out between us. He texted back to say that he hadn't got anymore household stuff and to stop accusing him of things he's not taken. I am trying very hard not to have a go at him and to remain happy every time I see him like I'm advised to do, but sometimes I'm finding it very hard to do.
I saw my counsellor yesterday who made me feel positive. I am having a bad day today, so I'm taking it out on my nearest and dearest, ie. the estranged hubby.
I said to him I didn't want my son to come from a broken home. He said it is hardly a broken home as he's nearly 20 this year. I told him not to be so heartless, he's not replied to that! 
My son may be 20 this year, but he's got high functioning autism and so he acts more like a 14 year old. it is mainly his social skills and his need for routine that affects his autism. My husband leaving has thrown his routine right out of the window and he's been misbehaving because of this. I just want things to get back to how they were before and be a happy family once again. My husband has some new found friends that I'm sure have had a big influence in his life, he's changed so much this year. I know we've had problems in the past, but he refuses to talk about them (he dumped me via text!), he won't go to counselling with me and has given up his faith. I was just about to go to bed, but now I'm so annoyed with him that I'm wide awake!!


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm so sorry, I'm sure you will get passed this as you are a warrior mom. Sending you and your son lots of hugs. Wish I can do more for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

You failed to mention your husbands reason for leaving.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

tacoma said:


> You failed to mention your husbands reason for leaving.


Who cares? Sounds like she just needed to vent.


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

Tacoma, he's not actually given a proper reason. He says we've grown apart and he doesn't feel anything for me anymore. We have had a rough patch in our marriage that my husband says has been going on for 4 years, but he's never spoken properly to me about anything that's upset him. He left earlier this year, but came back after a week saying that he's missed me. he's left me again now and although I want him back, he's going to have to sort himself out first and get proper treatment for his depression. I feel sure it's a midlife crisis he's going through as he wanted to go out all the time and stay out until 1am with his mates. He's now living with a mate, so he says anyway! I feel sure that he's not having affair, I've asked him and he's denied it. I think he would've told me by now if that was the case! It's only been 2 weeks so I'm not ready to sort anything out legally, but I just want him to consider my feelings a bit more! I still have to see him as he takes my son out and looks after him when he's at college. We still get on ok most of the time and I felt we were making progress. I think I've blown it though by accusing him of taking some stuff out of the house!


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

lol lady of the lake


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

Thanks for your kind words mablenc


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm sorry, lost. This is a really painful time. It's likely that being upset about the things right now is a bit of transference of emotions. It's easier to focus on those things than the emotions about the marriage ending. 

Unless the missing items are significant or have value, I would simply advise to let go. You have to find a peaceful place in your heart and allowing these occurrences to rock the boat will make this process even harder.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lostwithouthim (Apr 15, 2013)

You are so right Tcsredhead. I had a bad day yesterday and let my depressions and emotions run away with me


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

lostwithouthim said:


> You are so right Tcsredhead. I had a bad day yesterday and let my depressions and emotions run away with me


It's easy to have that happen. I hope it gets better for you. If it helps, there's a section here full of people going through separation and divorce that may be able to help?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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