# Why are some women so much better in bed than others?



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

This is in response to a post about men in bed and why some are much better than others.
Now I've seen many women who look so good that every man literally wants to climb them, however once behind closed doors you wish you'd picked up the geeky gal in solid framed glasses instead.....total DUD.
Even in relationships where some women stay the duration sexually while some just fade out. Or those that just lay there and expect their man to do all the work, have one orgasm and roll over.
What makes some women better in bed than others?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I always thought it had a lot to do with confidence and a little to do with your REAL personality..not the personality you show to the world,but who you are deep down inside where only the people you trust get to see.

Whether or not you're a naturally inhibited person would determine it too,at least from my point of view.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Because no bullsh^t and they want to have fun and pleasure their mate. Drive it like you stole it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Confidence, the man's response, the moment, the attraction, the passion between the two.

I dunno...


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

No idea. But the ones that lay flat like manikins kill any chance of a stiffy. 

I think it has to do with passion. Some seem like they're so bored I honestly just say "fvck it" and stop what I'm doing. 

communication is also key. Sex isn't like the movie with Mel gibson, can't read minds.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think women who are comfortable with their sexuality are also better because they have less inhibitions.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I guess for the same reason some men are so much better in bed than others, and involves:-

Desire to give maximum pleasure
Desire to receive maximum pleasure
Communication
Imagination
Passion

To name but a few...


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## JustAMan2 (Oct 28, 2011)

She figures out what her man wants and does everything in her power with that information to make him feel like he is the center of her universe. 

Oh, and he does the same for her!


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Givers.......Takers........and other kinds of lovers.
Some are givers, some are takers. Most of our marriage my wife was a taker. I was a student of her body! I studied, watched, paid attention and I learned what she loved! We were married for 20 years when finally one day she asked "what feels good to you?" I should have loved it that she asked but instead it killed me. I was like no kidding? We have been together 20 years and you have no idea and have never wondered before?

But whatever. She does want to please me now.


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## CrazyWoman (Jun 23, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I think women who are comfortable with their sexuality are also better because they have less inhibitions.


I find the older the woman the more she falls into this category. Experience = confidence.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Kasler said:


> No idea. But the ones that lay flat like manikins kill any chance of a stiffy.
> 
> I think it has to do with passion. Some seem like they're so bored I honestly just say "fvck it" and stop what I'm doing.
> 
> communication is also key. Sex isn't like the movie with Mel gibson, can't read minds.


I've been known to stop mid coitus/play, rub it out myself over one of her body parts and simply leave for this reason. Thats my version of "Fvuk it"...


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Because some women are more bendy than others and we know how to move our hips!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

aston said:


> I've been known to stop mid coitus/play, rub it out myself over one of her body parts and simply leave for this reason. Thats my version of "Fvuk it"...


HA! Don't think we can't tell when a man just wants to get off....

Bust a nut and leave? gross. :rofl:


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

For my wife, it was getting to know where all my right buttons were and then her willingness to push them. At the beginning, she let me take the lead and still basically does, but knows what to do that works for me. 

Before marriage, I would have to say that wildness was the scoreboard for me. If a girl wanted to be on top, suggested anal, swallowed or openly fantasized about being with another woman, that made me give her kudos in the banging department. 

It was just sex and no love behind the act, thus became a 'what can top that' type of thing. But with my wife, making love to her and hiw much she turns me on quantifies it as being good in bed for me.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Two factors.

The biggest is this one: Enthusiasm. If a women is into you and wants to have sex with you and wants to enjoy it (and have you enjoy it) she'll be awesome. An enthusiastic lover is almost guaranteed to be a great love.

The second one is experience. There's just some things that you get good at through practice, so past practice makes a better lover.

The biggest though is the first one. I was with a dead fish in my ex wife and am now with a partner who actually shows desire during sex. MASSIVE difference.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Two factors.
> 
> The biggest is this one: Enthusiasm. If a women is into you and wants to have sex with you and wants to enjoy it (and have you enjoy it) she'll be awesome. An enthusiastic lover is almost guaranteed to be a great love.
> 
> ...


This is pretty much the same as the response I gave in the "men good in bed" thread. I totally agree with it in reverse as well.

Enthusiasm is key. I am so into my partner, so enthusiastic about being with him. It is a 2 way thing and it is pure bliss.


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Brains. Smarter women can read your reactions and build from them.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ So in that case, one must not marry blondes 
Kidding kidding!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> ^ So in that case, one must not marry blondes
> Kidding kidding!


Someone's asking for a jolly good spanking!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I like the answer that being "smart" is important.

I really don't think looks have much to do with it, I used to think that way when I was younger though. I consider myself very average, average body, but pretty darn smart.

Like I said in the other post....."quick learners"


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Lack of gag reflex?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Two factors.
> 
> The biggest is this one: Enthusiasm. If a women is into you and wants to have sex with you and wants to enjoy it (and have you enjoy it) she'll be awesome. An enthusiastic lover is almost guaranteed to be a great love.
> 
> ...


I agree with " enthusiasm " 100 % !!! Any woman can be okay in bed but with enthusiasm she's the best lay ever !!! It shows she's enjoying herself and wants you too also enjoy !!!

One of the biggest turnon for me is watching my Mrs with this enthusiasm and her enjoying herself !!!!


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

just like the guy who is hung like a horse dosn't think he has to do anything but jam it in and go .

the very pretty girls think their so pretty that they don't have to do anything but lay there and look good.

but that only works for so long then any guy worth his weight says hay whats up there needs to be equal play here or I'm out of here.


a playful happy to please attitude is needed on both parties for good sex!

inside and outside the bedroom!!!!!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I was born this way. 

Learned to achieve orgasms by myself at a young age. 

I never let other people's prude moral thinking affect my sexuality. 

But I think the most important thing is that my husband is very good at exploring my body and he knows how to help me enjoy sex even more. He always tells me that watching me enjoy our sex is a lot of fun for him.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Experience perhaps or been around the block a few times jk I agree with above feel comfortable with their bodies, enjoys their partner etc


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

because they like it,...a LOT. find a nympho you can trust and you'll be a happy man .....well, most of the time.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

ATC529R said:


> because they like it,...a LOT. find a nympho you can trust and you'll be a happy man .....well, most of the time.


an oxymoron:lol:


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Kasler said:


> No idea. But the ones that lay flat like manikins kill any chance of a stiffy.


:lol:


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't think you can tell by looks. Could go either way. I think the expectation is high for beautiful women because they are so desirable. 

A good lover is made not born. Background is big, personality and a big one is how pleasurable sex is. 

I think that in adulthood, positive experiences can overcome a sexually repressive background. 

I'll use That_girl as an example, I hope she doesn't mind. She is a woman with a very positive attitude about sex. 

I have been influenced by her. She says what she says and it is natural. I think things that I would never say out of fear of the negative effect on my husband. 

She says some of what I think and the sky does not fall. In fact she gets a lot of very positive feedback. I have been a little bolder with my husband as a result and he likes it. So seeing her interaction with other posters emboldened me. 

My point is that some woman learn to be sexually open and positive by observing the interaction between men and women. That along with experience.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

it's all about the sex drive. Enthusiasm has been mentioned but you can't have real enthusiasm without libido. A recent study also showed that a woman's 'disgust illiciters' are suppressed when she's aroused. This means that her willingness to do sexual things will be much less if she's not truly aroused. I suppose that this is stating the obvious but it also supports the idea that perhaps much of 'being a good lover' is out of her direct control. Many of the responses here mention factors in a way that they can be controlled, e.g. 

-be more enthusiastic
-want to please the man
etc.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I like one of the answers above. If the guy is good, it can make the woman better in bed. I've read some books on how to give a better blow job and other similar books. I told my husband I read that book. I asked what I can do to make him feel better and he said nothing. great. I was hoping to get that same question in return but didn't get it now I'm trying to work up the guts to ask my husband to read one of the books on how to improve oral sex. although he thinks I'm good in bed it would be awesome if the feeling was mutual.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Fabulous lover, she was:
1 Totally unaware of what I expected
2 Had absolutely no self confidence in her sexuality
3 Had never had "good" sex with a man
4 Had been used and dumped by an abusive looser

She knew that when I touched her, I gave her pleasure

She knew I was patient, and did not want to rush her.

When we finally made love it was like a dam breaking, fireworks exploding, and angels singing for both of us....

And it stayed that way for 25 years......As I made love to her I looked for and felt signals she was giving. I matched her natural rhythm, and cared enough to make sure she had the sexual experiences she deserved....... 

There is no way she could have been "better in bed".


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

An







and a







to be there with her man.... a LUST for his physical touch and/or a craving for the Emotional connection in "making Love"...when those are both present... nothing is sweeter on this earth to experience...

A craving to playfully tease & please your lover...shake it up now & then, study new techniques, surprise him, add some new novelty ... her going above & beyond to light his fire. 

Every man wants a lady in the Street & a uninhibited Sl** in his bed.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Woodchuck said:


> Fabulous lover, she was:
> 1 Totally unaware of what I expected
> 2 Had absolutely no self confidence in her sexuality
> 3 Had never had "good" sex with a man
> ...


Love this







makes me think of this song >> Blessid Union of Souls- I Wanna Be There - YouTube


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

While we would all like sexual fulfillment with our significant others, the biggest thing that makes me want to make love to that special lady is the size of her heart, and the care and the love for me that she so ardently and unselfishly exhibits!

But if it ever came to the point in my physiological life that I couldn't either perform or feel anything, as long as that love stayed with me for her and for her toward me, I would do anything to pleasure her within my capability to truly show her the ardent love that I feel for her. To see her and feel her in her state of ecstacy truly defies description~ and is truly what love from the heart is all about!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

arbitrator said:


> While we would all like sexual fulfillment with our significant others, the biggest thing that makes me want to make love to that special lady is the size of her heart, and the care and the love for me that she so ardently and unselfishly exhibits!
> 
> But if it ever came to the point in my physiological life that I couldn't either perform or feel anything, as long as that love stayed with me for her and for her toward me, I would do anything to pleasure her within my capability to truly show her the ardent love that I feel for her. To see her and feel her in her state of ecstacy truly defies description~ and is truly what love from the heart is all about!


Oh Lord Arbitator, you made me tear reading this! Are you my husband ~~ he talks just like this - I really don't like growing older....as I worry about these things, but I know that I know that I know, so long as he has breathe... this is how he feels... and this gives ME great comfort. 

A man with a







like that, what a treasure... your soon to be X - what a foolish woman to give you up.


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## SelfTweaks (Nov 11, 2012)

Lack of experience, lack of confidence, hasn't had the right role model yet...I dunno.

That's kind of like asking why are some women so much better ________ than others?

You can fill in the blank with anything!


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

enthusiasm !


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

My ex was so into getting herself off she really didn't care. She kept her public personna in the bedroom as well. Never revealing herself to me was a turn-off and made me not want it so much.

So does this mean she didn't trust me? I guess so. I don't know why she didn't.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Sometimes it's not even what the woman does, but rather what she will allow the man to do to her that will make her 'good in bed.'


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## JTL (Dec 14, 2009)

kipani said:


> Brains. Smarter women can read your reactions and build from them.


I agree with pretty much every post in this thread except for this one above. Not that i don't think there is truth in it or it doesn't make sense, It's just we play with another couple from time to time and the female (while nice) is dumb as a stump. Yet she fvks like a champ. Just my limited experience (sexually) with the stupid. My wife is awesome as well, for almost all of the other stated reasons in this thread and she is smart and educated.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

This is gonna piss off a bunch of people. I am sorry for that. I have to reveal this.

For me, this goes back to the thread about the many partners and does it matter. At some point, I believe there is an issue with I just want to get off and I need a man or woman. When that happens, I think the quality of the sex suffers and the experience is only for gratification.

I am not saying that this makes one person less respectable than another. What I am saying is, just because you have a lot of experience, doesn't mean you paid attention and know what you are doing. In fact, I feel the opposite. Too much experience, in my opinion, produces a lack of interest in satisfying sex for both.

How do I justify, and I hate the word justify, this? Well, if part of the sexual experience in a good marriage is an intellectual thing for both, then you are not practicing that in ONS. That, in my opinion, can only be experienced through a longer term relationship. How long? I don't know. I am sure it varies with the individual.

Thanks for letting me get this out.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> I don't think you can tell by looks. Could go either way. I think the expectation is high for beautiful women because they are so desirable.
> 
> A good lover is made not born. Background is big, personality and a big one is how pleasurable sex is.
> 
> ...


 amg. I just saw this. It warmed my little heart because sometimes I feel like people just think I'm "Little Miss Perfect Life" or whatever...and I promise I'm not. I just am always working to be better. That, and I don't talk about the bad stuff, or harp on the things that irritate me. This site has taught me sooooo much. 

I'm happy that you are becoming more empowered with your sexuality. It truly is liberating to feel free in it, especially with someone else.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> *Because some women are more bendy than others and we know how to move our hips*!


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
I like this answer best!
This is what I like best about my wife in bed.
I like it when she just throws off all her inhibitions and 
" them hips don't lie.."

For me its all in the hips. Some women could work their hips, some can't.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Hasn't been the case with my wife.... There has to be recognition of the need to improve, and a desire to improve.


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree:
> I like this answer best!
> This is what I like best about my wife in bed.
> I like it when she just throws off all her inhibitions and
> ...


Also true for men.


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