# Want to Separate, but conflicted



## happyagain? (Mar 29, 2013)

I have been married for almost 6 years to my husband, whom I met about 8 years ago. We have a 3 year old son.

For the past 2 years I have been unhappy. I have had conversations and emails with my H about this several times, but nothing changes. He went straight from his parents to me and I feel like he has never grown up. He is also 4 years younger than me and we met right when he turned 21, which I feel contributes to the issues we have.

Essentially, I feel overwhelmed because I do everything. I worry about our bills, I take care of our son, I clean the house, cook the food, do the laundry. And this makes me feel like he is just a burden. 

Additionally, we are not intimate. We never really have been. Even on our honeymoon we only had sex once. (sorry if that is an overshare)

I am done being un-happy with my life. My son has seen me break down and cry hysterically because I am so unhappy and I dont want him to think of me that way.

I have been thinking that we need to separate, though I think I am really thinking that is just a gateway to divorce. I have spoken with friends about this. I have spoken with my parents. I am just worried about how this conversation will go with my H. 

Would like any advice on my situation and how this conversation might go!


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## muttgirl (Mar 23, 2012)

Just 1 question--what does he do to contribute? Teaching responsibility to a guy to be a father and husband takes LOTS of effort on his part and time. If he doesnt think he is doing anything wrong he will call you picky or nagging or crazy. HE has to want to change and if he wont then cut your loses and make sure child support is lined up for the time when your husband grows up.


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## justforfun1222 (Feb 6, 2013)

Sounds like you are somewhat in the boat I am right now. I am going to school, for law and my husband actually said to me tonight after he had to wash the dishes because I had been studying all day and taken 2 exams, that he did my work and cleaned the dishes up, I have 6 people living in my house 3 of them teenagers 4 of them men and i just cannot keep up with the load, I am on the verge of a nervous break down and when I am crying, I don't even get a hug.. just an I am sorry you are going through this. I used to be a strong person, but after what I have gone though with him, and some other issues the past few years, it takes everything I have to function. We have talked until I am blue in the face and I agree with Muttgirl.. if he does not change cut your losses and get out! I also have to add that they might change for a few weeks or months, but then it goes right back to the way it was, I think we establish a pattern within our marriages and once we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of, it eventually happens again.. Good luck with all of this and if you figure out how to tell him please let me know because i am having issues in that area myself!


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