# cpo



## luv2ivy (May 18, 2010)

i was wandering if anybody knew if you could have a restraining order terminated.i would like to have the one against my husband dropped but not sure how to go about doing it or if its even possible.


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

I believe you can but I would really really think about dropping it. I am not sure about your back story but I can tell you that it can makes you look not in the best of light sometimes.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Hi finally!!!


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## luv2ivy (May 18, 2010)

i know in my heart it is the right thing to do does my husband have to be there for it to get dropped?


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

Are you dropping it because you think it will change his mind on things or because you feel it is right to do? Do you have a attorney that you could ask about it?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

This day and age, usually a protective order is "the state vs. person" not "victim vs. abuser." Also in order for even a temporary protective order to be put in place, there has to be some evidence, more than hearsay or accusations, that some sort of harmful or abusive activity has occurred. Courts usually will agree to a temporary protective order based on what you put into a form and it's for 2 weeks to a month...then you go to court and have to provide REAL evidence for it to become a permanent protective order. (BTW, when I say "the state" I don't mean USA states but "the goverment" "the court" "the county" "the district" or whatever.)

If your protective order was a temporary one, then at the trial to make it more permanent, you can say then that you don't want it to be permanent. Don't present evidence, and try to tell the other side you want it to be let go. 

Now, if it is "the state vs. person" the police/district attorney may decide they have enough evidence for a conviction (so to speak) and override your request, but honestly that's fairly rare. That's moreso the lady who arrived at the hospital bruised and raped who has photo and medical evidence and because she's physically abused she decides she doesn't want to press charges--and "the state" does it for her. 

If you've gone beyond the trial and "the state" upheld the protective order and made it permanent, there are different statutes of limitations--it will run out eventually if you do nothing--but otherwise you can not stop it and allow him to contact you and be in your life. If it is temporary, I'd suggest just waiting until the permanent trial and letting it run out. 

The ONE HUGE CAUTION/ISSUE I have is that there was some reason why you filed this in the first place. Either there wasn't abuse going on and you were using it as a legal weapon...which is WAY NOT COOL and really damages those of us who were abused and need to use it for protection...or there really is abuse going on--in which case you need to find a support group for women who were abused and not end the CPO.


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## luv2ivy (May 18, 2010)

the night in question he did hit me which was a friday night that following mon i went to the court house and filed for the cpo i was granted an emergancy one and had i hearing 7 days after that,on that day he said he wanted to consult with his lawyer,but the cpo went into affect i dont know when it will be up so i just wanted to get it dropped he is going to alcohol counceling which is court ordered he has a much better side to him with me and the kids i just need some advise to how to go about doing this


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Get a copy of the protective order if you don't already have one and find out the judge who signed off on it and when/if it expires. That would be the court that you would petition or file a motion to dismiss (or whatever). If you get your copy that will tell you a lot of the information you need to know, so once you have your copy, get back to us and let us know okay?


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## luv2ivy (May 18, 2010)

i have lost my copy


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I honestly do not believe it is wisest for me to give any further advice then. If you are in the USA I would strongly encourage you to contact the folks at National Domestic Violence Hotline This is a non-profit group that has a national 800# hotline to provide help in a crisis, information about domestic violence, and referrals for local help for victims of abuse. If you are sort of wondering if you were abused, maybe you'd find this page a helpful place to start: Am I Being Abused?


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