# Need to Vent...



## PrivateTalk (May 27, 2011)

I'f I'm coming off like a B*tch than I'm sorry but like the title says I just need to vent then I'll probably calm down later...  P.S might be long.  

Okay so me and DH took our first vacation in years and we took *all *the kids, our daughter (10 months) and my SS (9) and SD (5), we went to Ontario so three days in a car with kids there and three days back...yay...lol we went for a total of three weeks and we left on a Friday night, so stick with me..

The month of July has 31 days in it we take SS and SD every weekend Fri, Sat, Sun, so we left on Fri the 8th and so in total for the month we had them the 1, 2, 3, 8 -> 31. The EX therefore had them the 4, 5, 6, and 7th (That's 4 Days total for the month) we get back into town and she asks us if we will take them on the holiday monday too and we say that we can't so she comes to collect them. when she gets here she actually asks DH if he had her child support for the month, he laughed thinking it was a joke because she didn't have the kids to need the support and we used it all getting groceries as we got back on the friday at the end of the month and had to feed us all. So things go on fine we thought she was kidding and then she texts him asking when we can have it for her he texts back that we had the kids for the month and so there is no child support for her she got in such a tissy....

Now I know what some of you my be thinking... well she needs that to do bills and keep a house for the kids to live... well news flash so do we, did she think or take into accound that previous to us having a child together I had no other children and yet we rented a 3 bedroom home when we could have gotten a batchlor pad, she has NEVER sent the kids with overnight bags WE are expected to still dress them and thus WE buy them clothing, they eat at our house too and so we keep extra food in fridge for a family of 5 instead of the 2 adults and one baby that live here permanent, so before anyone responds rash think that threw the non primary parent is to pay CS for the reasons of food shelter clothing etc, well we also pay that for them here and are expected to do so while paying her????? to me I'm slightly confused??? I know that she is a money grubbing s*ut and she uses the money not on the kids but her next tattoo or TV, that's what pisses me off and then when people have the nerve to say well she needs the money to suport the kids when there there, well we need the money too for the same damn reasons why the hell do we have to shovel out when we're expected to do the same things for the kids on our end????????

whew well thanks for letting me rant


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ughhh I can feel your frustration and anger and can empathize. Ex's with kids are hard. I dated a man with a daughter once. I loved his kid, but his ex! OMG! She sent me screaming into the hills!

I don't know your husband's ex, or what she does with the money, the only thing I can think of is rent.

When I was getting some money from my 1st daughter dad, he paid the difference between a 1 bedroom and 2 bedroom apartment because he made more money than me and I couldn't get a 2 bedroom alone. He had her for almost a whole summer but still paid that money because rent is rent.

But if you say she's spending it on her own crap-- well...that's wrong.

Is this court ordered child support?


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## PrivateTalk (May 27, 2011)

No it's not court ordered, my hubby has shared custody. up till recently in fact we were watching the kids 5 days a week yet she was still getting the CTB from government plus our CS payments.

It just drives me nuts, I see your point about rent for the extra room for the kids but we also have to have the extra room for them too and so we got the larger property to make sure they had bedrooms but since she's listed as primary she gets CS I just think it's unfair that we pay for her to be able to afford accomodations for them but then we have to do the same thing but where's our help, we're not an overly rich family but she only works part time and choses not to take a different job or more hours and yet both kids do go to school full time now so what's her issue, I had to get a second job so that we could survive but she's just like where's my money...? it just really sucks sometimes.

I'm trying to support my hubby with the fact that he loves to see his kids and spend as much time with them as possible but I'm really not seeing the upside to them living here half the time when we have to pay all our bills plus her's, and pay for clothing when isn't that also what we pay her for...  I'm just sad about the whole thing and I know in one of my previous posts I actually held alot or resentment toward the Skids but I am trying to work through that and move on, things have improved its just tough when you struggle to pay someone when your doing half the job too so I just don't get why we pay. I know your thinking it's just money but like I said we're not rich and we both have to work so hard just to stay afloat while she's aloud to screw around doing just part time employment....


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

No it's not OK to not pay your child support.

Holidays should be something done on top of the usual support paid (Because that is what most people do for their children/ family).

She could not take them on a holiday and then refuse to support them. 

Child support is an amount worked out that is fair to pay taken over the whole year and then divided monthly.

It's wonderful that you include the children on a family holiday (as you should) but that should come after the child support has come out. Just like you house payments and groceries for your family, if you can't afford those first then you shouldn't be going on a holiday.


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## PrivateTalk (May 27, 2011)

So then you think that it fair that my DH works full time, I worked full time and had a part time job (prior to my DD) and she works just part time but the kids are full days full time school? Why is it that I needed to work so hard to pay for her kids? the courts should also take into account that she CHOOSE'S to not get full time employment, as she was heard saying she gets more child support that way why should she work.

I understand the concept of CS, but what I don't think is fair is when it's abused. and trust me she abuses it we have had to get child services involved for some of the things she's done, she uses the money on herself not the kids. I just think that yes I got married to a man with kids I knew what that ment but I really didn't think that I would need two jobs to support her kids when she's not even willing to work full time for them, I'm just tired of it and now that I have a baby of my own and another on the way I will NOT put up with footing her bill anymore.


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