# addicted to vib



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

So can you become dependent on your vib or any toy where that's the only way you can orgasm?

And should you avoid them if you orgasm without them now?

I think it would be very disappointing to most men to realize that the only way your wife can come is to use toys. When she use to be able to without.

Similar to porn 


I starting to think both should be left out and just open honest communication and experiment with each other would be best.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Chilly....are you becoming addicted to yours?


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

They can be abused, like anything.

I dunno, it really depends on the woman I guess. My ex wife bought her first vibrator about 7 years into our relationship. Up to that point, she had never O'd in her life, with me, anybody else or herself. (well, not clitoral O's, anyway. Her and I figured out her gspot years before that).

After buying the vibrator, it was part of our sex life (as well as her own). Was she addicted? I don't know. But it seemed to be the only way to reach orgasm. Didn't bother me.

My current wife owns a few, but seems to rarely use them on her own, and it occasionally comes out during sex. It's definitely not a necessary tool for her, but she enjoys using it occasionally.

I'd only ever be concerned if its usage was far greater than the sex I was having with my wife. Like if sex was 2-3 times a month but she was using the thing 2-3 times a week or more. Even if she enjoyed the sex, if the solo use was that much more often than being intimate with her husband, there'd be an issue. There's a healthy balance.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

I am dependant on my toys. I have never been able to O with PIV. I was able to O with manual stimulation. I have neck problems and carpel tunnel, manual isn't an option now.

edit - I guess I should say the toys are used during PIV or during foreplay. On occasion I use it alone.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> So can you become dependent on your vib or any toy where that's the only way you can orgasm?


Yes. Every woman has a different set point for clitoral sensitivity. Some women need the very direct and intense vibration to reach orgasm. Some women don't. Some women find it difficult to orgasm pleasantly with a vibrator because it is too intense and almost numbs the area. 




> And should you avoid them if you orgasm without them now?
> 
> I think it would be very disappointing to most men to realize that the only way your wife can come is to use toys. When she use to be able to without.
> 
> ...



No, women should NOT avoid vibrators. IMO all women should freely experiment with all sorts of sex toys to see what brings pleasure and ways to enhance their sexual experience.

I can see your point that a man might feel a little redundant if his wife can only orgasm with a vibrator. Said man would probably need some reassurance from his wife that he is her erotic dream boat. But I don't think it is similar to porn. The presence of the vibrator along may or may not bring about an orgasm but it is the eroticism of the moment that allows the orgasm to happen.

You can incorporate her vibrator into your sex play. You can apply it, you can hold it, you can take control of it and therefo you are delivering her orgasm.

I completely agree about open and honest communication. But I disagree that vibrators be left out of sex play.




alexm said:


> After buying the vibrator, it was part of our sex life (as well as her own). Was she addicted? I don't know. *But it seemed to be the only way to reach orgasm. Didn't bother me.
> *
> 
> I'd only ever be concerned if its usage was far greater than the sex I was having with my wife. Like if sex was 2-3 times a month but she was using the thing 2-3 times a week or more. Even if she enjoyed the sex, if the solo use was that much more often than being intimate with her husband, there'd be an issue. There's a healthy balance.



:iagree:


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## Marriedwithdogs (Jan 29, 2015)

When we first got married we had a few toys, but I threw them out after having my own personal convictions about them. For our 20th a few months ago, we were away and stopped by an adult store.No dildos but we did get something that vibrates the clit area. I'll just say it was a fun and intense weekend for us. I jerked in ways I never knew I could.

We also bought some weird thing that seemed interesting at the time that was like a wrap around (his penise) dildo, and that insulted him. Of course he says this AFTER we buy it.

Since we have kids that like to hang out in my room often, it's in an inconvenient place so we rarely use the clitoral vibrator just bc I don't feel like going to dig for it. I can "o" with or without it, but I can definitely see how some women "need" it to "o". Toys should enhance love making, not replace!


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## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

i personally think sex toys are a great addition to a sex life. we try to change up my wife's forms of stimulation to keep her from getting too acclimated to one toy in particular. she uses different vibrators, her hand, my hand, and my mouth to orgasm. keep the variety and enjoy. she does orgasm easiest from a few toys in particular but it's not like those are the only things used. bottom line is, i would never do anything to deprive her of her orgasm(s) because of my own ego.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bubba29 said:


> i personally think sex toys are a great addition to a sex life. we try to change up my wife's forms of stimulation to keep her from getting too acclimated to one toy in particular. she uses different vibrators, her hand, my hand, and my mouth to orgasm. keep the variety and enjoy. she does orgasm easiest from a few toys in particular but it's not like those are the only things used. *bottom line is, i would never do anything to deprive her of her orgasm(s) because of my own ego.*



Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Anon Pink said:


> You can incorporate her vibrator into your sex play. You can apply it, you can hold it, you can take control of it and therefo you are delivering her orgasm.


My wife seems to have the most intense O's with PIV and her using a vibrator at the same time. Whatever makes it better for her makes it better for me. I'm involved and helping, so it's no blow to the ego.

That said, if this became a regular thing, I might not be totally okay with it. Currently this combination is 1 in 5 times more or less. Just right!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*There is nothing inherently wrong about a woman using toys as an aid in helping her to achieve O. As a male, it would not bother me in the least for my SO to use a toy either solo or in our very own lovemaking ... greatly provided, of course, that the toy wasn't attached to some other man!*


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

chillymorn said:


> So can you become dependent on your vib or any toy where that's the only way you can orgasm?
> 
> And should you avoid them if you orgasm without them now?
> 
> ...


I think it's similar to masturbation for men. What I mean by this is if I masturbate daily, it becomes very difficult or at least more difficult and less pleasurable to cum inside my wifes vagina. You may say this is because of frequency, however, if I were to masturbate once daily for a month, the orgasm would still be as intense as the first day.

To minimize this effect, I "try" to masturbate only once, the day after we have sex and then wait till the day after we have sex again. This cycle has worked perfectly for me.

Regarding the vibrator, I would simply try to minimize it's use to "wake" up the latent possibility of having an orgasm without it.
Just use it sparingly or maybe rotate the use of other toys that do not vibrate.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think you can become dependent on vibrators.

Many years ago I bought one for my wife just to add variety. She had always been able to orgasm easily from oral or PIV+fingers. She loved the vibrator but her ability to orgasm without it gradually decreased. Not really thinking about the issues we bought a variety of toys and stronger vibrators.

It is still just barely possible for her to orgasm without a vibrator if I use fingers and oral. A month ago I tried and it did work - but it was a pretty weak orgasm and she wanted another with the vibrator afterwards.

Its OK - I have no problem with sex toys (though it is inconvenient when traveling), but I think it does diminish sensitivity.

I find it a little unfortunate that my wife still sees sex as a bit of a race to the finish line: I can generally give her an orgasm in a few minutes and then she is done for the evening. She'll often ask me to do something that finishes her quickly. 

I haven't seen the sensitivity loss with dildos. We have a variety, and for a while played with some very large ones. She enjoyed the novelty, but eventually decided that they made her sore and prefers me or human-sized toys.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

If it helps her enjoy sex, I don't care if the damn thing has a kick-starter as long as she let's me drive once in a while. Always aim for the best sex possible, not some Amish notion of a technologically pure orgasm. 

Is our sex life cheapened by the bottle of Astroglide on the night stand? By that glass of wine we had after dinner to loosen up the mood? Or by the candles on the headboard that illuminate just enough to see but not enough to see everything? 

Not this guy. Give it all to me, in big gulps, and bring along a healthy supply of D cells if that's what it takes.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

askari said:


> Chilly....are you becoming addicted to yours?


only in the sense that using it on her is very fun it great to see a womans orgasm up close and personal contraction, wet and just yummy all the way around!!!!!!!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

there are a number of women advocating to stop and let your body get used to a personal touch and through communication and patience the sex is even better than using a vib.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Cletus said:


> If it helps her enjoy sex, I don't care if the damn thing has a kick-starter as long as she let's me drive once in a while. Always aim for the best sex possible, not some Amish notion of a technologically pure orgasm.
> 
> Is our sex life cheapened by the bottle of Astroglide on the night stand? By that glass of wine we had after dinner to loosen up the mood? Or by the candles on the headboard that illuminate just enough to see but not enough to see everything?
> 
> Not this guy. Give it all to me, in big gulps, and bring along a healthy supply of D cells if that's what it takes.


You might enjoy this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMH2hwI31fQ

It makes me laugh every time.


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## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> there are a number of women advocating to stop and let your body get used to a personal touch and through communication and patience the sex is even better than using a vib.


i cannot remember where i read this, but some call that a clitoral reset.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

bubba29 said:


> i cannot remember where i read this, but some call that a clitoral reset.


That just sounds wrong. Too many years of training that you push the big red button to initiate a reset, not leave it alone.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

My wife and I used a vibrator during intercourse for almost all our marriage. We used it because other than with oral sex, she could not achieve an orgasm during PIV. Well, I am a forward thinker because my young mind went into a sex shop, bought a small vibrator, and held it to the same place I would like while I penetrated her. This was years ago. Of course she orgasmed during sex at this point. This became a regular routine. After she had her O, I would then put her in various positions I felt comfortable, and we would kind of take turns, although sometimes we would orgasm at the same time. 

When she hit her mid 30s, she achieved an orgasm through sex without the vibe (or oral) for the first time in her life. Now she is about 10% of the time vibrator, 90% of the time PIV orgasm. 

So as far as you always needing a vibe to orgasm once you start, obviously that is not the case.

Some women are addicted to the male penis, so I don't see why you couldn't get addicted to a vibrator. If it gets you to that point, that's a fun place to be.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

then why not be addicted to porn if it gets to the point.

I see these things as different but similar.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Who cares what ANY WOMAN, other than your own wife, is doing with her body? Why make an open point about something like this as if you have a say about random women you don't even know? Why would you care?

I understand why someone cares about what their own spouse is doing...but trying to police the rest of the world is silly.


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

The only sex toy my wife has ever liked is the egg vibrator. She hates toys that get inserted, she says she feels like she's in a doctors office and they're probing her with medical instruments. Still, she says she prefers the tongue most of all over any toy so who am I to argue.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

it can reduce sensitivity to the "less vigorous" forms of regular sex. stopping once in a while will reduce that threshold back to "normal" non-vib action. i don't know of any permanent issues.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Who cares what ANY WOMAN, other than your own wife, is doing with her body? Why make an open point about something like this as if you have a say about random women you don't even know? Why would you care?
> 
> I understand why someone cares about what their own spouse is doing...but trying to police the rest of the world is silly.


who is trying to police the world?

:scratchhead:


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

chillymorn said:


> who is trying to police the world?
> 
> :scratchhead:


Team America World Police.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

*sneaks out the nearest exit...*


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

CincyBluesFan said:


> The only sex toy my wife has ever liked is the egg vibrator. She hates toys that get inserted, she says she feels like she's in a doctors office and they're probing her with medical instruments. Still, she says she prefers the tongue most of all over any toy so who am I to argue.


warm them up first... lol


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Well this post isn't your opinion about just your wife's vibe habits, or at least that's not what you wrote. So why do you GAF what any other woman does with her body? If not to try to shame or police women, then why even offer your opinion? Again, you did not specifically say this is about your wife so how am I supposed to read it other than some random man who doesn't know me expressing his opinion about something that's none of his business?


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## Threetimesalady (Dec 22, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> So can you become dependent on your vib or any toy where that's the only way you can orgasm?
> 
> And should you avoid them if you orgasm without them now?
> 
> ...


Yes, it can be addicting...I put Eric my Eroscillator away about a year ago...He was getting just too good...My husband hated him and I had to sneak my affair with him anyway...No regrets...I love man's fingers, tongue and sexual parts...


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Well this post isn't your opinion about just your wife's vibe habits, or at least that's not what you wrote. So why do you GAF what any other woman does with her body? If not to try to shame or police women, then why even offer your opinion? Again, you did not specifically say this is about your wife so how am I supposed to read it other than some random man who doesn't know me expressing his opinion about something that's none of his business?


?????
Are you talking to me?

Its a discussion. I don't care what women do if they want to vib away until there clIt gets so desenitsed that they can't orgasm from a mans touch then good for them. But just like most women would be not so happy that their husband trained himself with such a tight grip that he could not orgasm unless he used his right grip I think the two are comparable. In my opinion it would detract from the relationship.

Just a discussion!

Did I even respond to you and your viberator habit?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

guys can get a-d!ckting too...


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## Gert B Frobe (May 6, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> ?????
> Are you talking to me?
> 
> Its a discussion. I don't care what women do if they want to vib away until there clIt gets so desenitsed that they can't orgasm from a mans touch then good for them. But just like most women would be not so happy that their husband trained himself with such a tight grip that he could not orgasm unless he used his right grip I think the two are comparable. In my opinion it would detract from the relationship.
> ...


Geesh, she is a bit hard on you. I read it all again and I still don't know what she is talking about.


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