# "Initiate" defined.....



## Gemini79 (Oct 9, 2010)

Hi guys,

I am curious......in a long-term committed relationship/marriage with all it's usual baggage, what EXACTLY do you mean when you say you wish your woman would INITIATE? I am struggling with this issue right now and my husband writes it off as insecurity when I know it is not that. Thanks:scratchhead:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It'd be kinda cool if mine would give some hint or indication that she actually believes she is involved in a romantic or sexual relationship. Maybe kiss instead of be kissed, hug instead of be hugged, compliment instead of being complimented. Toss me a bone to let me know she's still in the game.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

initiate = anything from plan a date, to walking up and kissing him, to whisper "I'm yours" in his ear, to a wake-up HJ, or if that is all to subtle just jump his bones. It is simply being the one who first makes it clear what your intent is, and I guess could even apply to any non-sexual issues in the marriage too... I could go on...


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## frustated (Jun 24, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> It'd be kinda cool if mine would give some hint or indication that she actually believes she is involved in a romantic or sexual relationship. Maybe kiss instead of be kissed, hug instead of be hugged, compliment instead of being complimented. Toss me a bone to let me know she's still in the game.


kiss instead of be kissed, that would be something!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Anything a dead cat can't do.


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## rag39822 (May 20, 2011)

I'm not a guy, but I can tell you the things I do to "initiate" that seem to work very well:
* Random text during the day (content can vary from "I can't wait to see you later tonight" to being more explicit "I keep thinking about things I would like to do to you later")
* Lightly touching my husband (start out somewhere innocent then move towards his private areas without actually touching them)
* Kissing (more than just a peck, the type where you let it linger for a little while)
* Get out candles to put on table during supper (I don't necessarily change anything else, but my husband then knows I am thinking about something more than supper)
* Put on lingerie & come out while husband is watching tv, working on something else, etc. (Or can put on & ask husband to come help in room you are in with a task)

These are just a few of the methods I use routinely to "initiate." I also try to be creative and come up with new ideas. Even the ideas that are somewhat of a flop generally work out, as he just appreciates that I am trying.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

rag39822, your plan sounds like a dream come true.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I am not an aggressive initiator however I do dress in something I think he will like and find sexy. I also kiss him, hug him, and often touch him and rub him down there when he's driving or when we watch TV. 
I also send him sexy/ dirty text messages.
I have given him BJ's and started rubbing him and hopped on.
I have also given him BJ's while he was driving.

I do prefer him to initiate and be sexually aggressive but I do do those things above regularly when he's made me feel good and sexy by showing lots of interest in me. I like to return the favour.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Gemini79 said:


> what EXACTLY do you mean



*Turn me on*. It's not quantum chromodynamics.


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## Lovingwifewannabe (Feb 11, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Maybe kiss instead of be kissed, hug instead of be hugged, compliment instead of being complimented.


Sounds like heaven to me, and I'm the wife! LOL


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