# So frustrated!!!



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Im ranting here. My anger is swelling up. im in a pissy mood today. I havent had sex in a couple weeks. last night my H and I were watching a movie and he starts kissing me and touching me (we've actually never had sex anywhere but the bed before- in five years). Then he stops and goes back to watching the movie. GGRRRRRRRR!!! If he would just not touch me at all i think id avoid being so angry. So now im sexually frustrated and there's not a damn thing i can do about it. I could masturbate, but its not the same and doesnt do it for me. Im just in a really bad mood today. so frustrated! :banghead:


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Why did he stop?

Did you say anything to him about it -- right then?

Were you responding?


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

So, go grab him at your first opportunity and ravish him. Why wait for him?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

There's a million reason why he might have stopped. literally- a million. ive found them all and it doesnt make a damn difference what the reason is. sorry- i dont mean to take this out on you. im just angry. there's always a reason for it. maybe even a good one. who the hell knows. ya i was responding. hence me feeling so frustrated now. 

why wait for him? because i didnt wait for him for years and was later told he resented me for trying to make him have sex with me. that's his response to me trying to come on to him. he feels im forcing him. so i dont come on to him anymore. 

my sex life is a mess and there's no making sense of it!!! i know its not just him. but it is just a mess.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

HappyHer said:


> So, go grab him at your first opportunity and ravish him. Why wait for him?


:iagree:


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Hi Blanca!
It's not often you start a thread, you must really be hot under the ahem, collar 

How cum you guys have not done it for two weeks? I thought you two were normally more regular than that?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

So did you start touching him in his hot spots? If he started it , then by all means you could have turned up the heat , surely he would not accuse you of forcing him then. 

If you didn't, why not?


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

Would you care to elaborate what you meant when you said: why wait for him? because i didnt wait for him for years and was later told he resented me for trying to make him have sex with me. What were you doing if you didn't wait for him?


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

So, he can pursue you when he wants sex, but if you do it to him, you are "forcing" him? What does he do then when he's the one pursuing you and why is it different? It sounds selfish that sex is only an option for him to go for while you sit around and wait and hope that he will. Wait til' you calm down a bit and then start some serious negotiating go find out how you can both get your wants and needs met.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Why allow him to control and manipulate you like that?
And then do something so rude.
He did it on purpose.

Sure have to acknowledge his complaint being the total opposite of most men's complaints. LOL


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

MarkTwain said:


> Hi Blanca!
> It's not often you start a thread, you must really be hot under the ahem, collar


LOL...yes i was/am MT. i think its because im starting to workout again. im thinking about starting birth control because ive been hearing on here that it lowers libido. 

@*happyher*: once a week, on the weekend, he will start grabbing my boobs when we are in bed. He then asks me if i want to have sex. that has been the routine ever since he came out of his porn como. No doubt tonight he will try the same thing. He has hardly even looked at me today but im sure once we go to bed he'll start grabbing my boobs and humping my leg. Last week when he was in the shower i popped my head in and smacked his butt...he turned around with a scowl and said, "Do you mind?" Oooookkkkay. I can undress in front of him and i get nothing...literally. he looks at me like one would look at an inanimate object. 

I used to think he was incredibly selfish, too. but i might just not be his type. i cant really fault him, or hate him, for that. he's very inexperienced when it comes to relationships and he might not have known either. i know he's not doing it to intentionally hurt me or frustrate me. 

I have calmed down but i am forever at a loss on how to get my needs met in this area. i have resigned to not think about it since there seems to be no solution. This infernal frustration will absolve itself once the week starts. today was just a bad day. I never in a million years would have thought this would be my issue in marriage.

@*susan*: It could be about control but im not sure it is. he could just not be that into me (literally...haha). Im leaning more in that direction. 

@*kenmoore*: I used to dress up in lingerie, cook for him, do activities he enjoyed, even stripteased for him. ive done it all. now i dont do any of it.

@*simplyamorous*: you would think he wouldnt accuse me, right??? I KNOW!!! that's what i thought. when he told me he resented me for coming on to him in the past i was so dumbfounded. what women ever thinks those words will come from any man- especially her husband?!? never in a million years. i assure you i will not make that mistake again. If he cant man up and come on to me then i will certainly not go there again. he put the ball in his court with that statement.


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## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

WTF is with all these crazy guys?? 

I can certainly relate where my wife wants to control 100% when we have sex and she doesn't want to feel any pressure from me. She likes to be able to kiss me or make out and not have it mean we have to have sex. Maybe it's a little of that with your H? For some reason it's like I'm a bad person for getting turned on when my wife kisses me or starts touching me. And then you can't help but be fired up, super horny and pissed off that you're left high and dry! 

I end up taking care of business myself but even after doing that 2-3 times in a day I will want sex just as much. It's just not the same thing!


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

mike1-

Have you read my article:
Sexless Marriage?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

mike1 said:


> And then you can't help but be fired up, super horny and pissed off that you're left high and dry!


which after awhile becomes nonsensical since we know that's what's going to happen. you'd think after the 100th time of getting turned down we'd catch on. sometimes i think its just reverse psychology. not that our spouses are trying to use reverse psychology but it just happens to work out that way.


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## whynot (Apr 16, 2010)

I feel your pain {HUGS}. Smae boat here and its like I would have blue [email protected] if I had them. Sigh.....


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