# Did you verbally thank your wife/partner for pushing out (birthing) your children?



## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Men only.

Yes or No.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Did you verbally thank your wife/partner for pushing out your children?*

You mean, as in through the birth canal or off to college? 

No to the first. It's not a "thank you" event, and once the kid's up there, pushing him out is sorta no longer optional. Just like I don't thank her every day for breathing.


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Sorry, voted before I read. My husband never thanked me, that would have been weird?


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

WTF?! Errr, no

I did express my love for her though during it

Like Cletus said, it's not really a "thank you" event, it was a "ILU" event for me though


----------



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I have

I think many have, they are just not thinking they have.. I am sure many at one point or another have said thank you for this beautiful baby or something along those lines to their spouse..

I'm happy that you gave birth to the 2 wonderful boys we have..


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

When I think about it, I am glad I am male.

Hormonal changes, recovery, and the pain. No thanks. Not to mention you have to work hard to lose that extra weight. I wonder how many more men would be obese if they had to lose that extra fat. Oh, back pains, nausea, strech marks, and that is a big toll on the human body, not to mention a probability of it being life threatening as well.

If I ever have kids, I would tell my partner way to take one for the team.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hardtohandle said:


> I think many have, they are just not thinking they have.. I am sure many at one point or another have said thank you for this beautiful baby or something along those lines to their spouse..


Interesting perspective, I guess considered an expression of love more appropriate to express my thanks.

Just seems off ya know, "thank you for our baby", it was more like "i love you so much for bringing our baby" for me.


----------



## truster (Jul 23, 2015)

I don't really remember, but somehow I doubt I said 'thank you'. I mean, no doubt, there was tons of support and love, but for some reason it just doesn't seem like a 'thank you' moment. A 'you did amazing' moment, a 'you've been so strong' moment, but for some reason not a 'thank you' moment. I can't put my finger on why convincingly.

The only similar example I can think of is if the primary breadwinner comes home with a raise, or a particularly big bonus or something. Obviously, the whole family benefits, but that doesn't really seem like a "thank you" moment either.. 'congratulations', 'you worked so hard', maybe, but not just 'thanks for the more money'.


----------



## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

The reason I posted this question is my SO and I had a rather spirited discussion last evening (as we often do). She is an emotional extrovert (ENFP) and I am the cold/logical introvert type (ISTJ).

I have 3 older children from a previous marriage. She asked me if I ever thanked my ex-wife for birthing my children. I had to answer "specifically say 'thank you'? No, I don't think I have". But, like many men, I'm sure I showed my now-ex wife I appreciated it, other ways, back then.

My SO was relating a story to me last evening where her (early/mid 20's) best friend called her years ago, feeling overwhelmed with her two young children, and during the discussion said to her "Husband-Name has not said 'Thank you' to me once for pushing out these kids".

My reaction, naturally, was "uh, why would he thank her?" I mean, after all, unless she didn't want kids and had children strictly as a favor to him, I would think children are something they both wanted, and thus, it was a mutual effort. Why would he thank her for birthing two children, any more than she would thank him months or years after the fact for the semen deposit that conceived them?

Of course this is the cold logical Mr. Spock in me talking. What ensued was a rather lengthy (ahem) 'debate' on the topic.

Certainly, I can see why a new mother would feel overwhelmed, and need some type of verbal support/reassurance from her partner. As "fixers" though I think most men would instead try to do something for his partner to "help" her with the kids (take them off her hands for a while so she can relax, get her a gift certificate to a day spa, etc.), and show his appreciation that way, rather than simply uttering the words "thank you".


The purpose of the poll isn't to ask if you've "thanked" your wife/SO/incubator via deeds/actions/etc. but instead if you've actually said the words "thank you" specifically related to birthing your children.

I have to say I do not know many men who would. Frankly, it is counter-intuitive to me. That's just me, though.

At the end of the night, we simply had to agree to disagree. Its just one of those things I will never "get". Or, as I sometimes phrase it... "its a female thing".

No, I didn't sleep on the couch. I actually had some pretty hot sex


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I do recall telling the boy's mother what a great Mom she was and was going to continue being!

But I was so caught up in the spur of the moments activities just to make sure that the boys were safe, console,and overall just doing OK! A prouder father there never was ~ and still am!


And to God be the glory!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Did she thank her husband for providing semen?


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Constable Odo said:


> My SO was relating a story to me last evening where her (early/mid 20's) best friend called her years ago, feeling overwhelmed with her two young children, and during the discussion said to her "Husband-Name has not said 'Thank you' to me once for pushing out these kids".


My guess is that friend was feeling mighty _unappreciated _overall for what she does for the children in order to say that. 

Thank you's are free and go a long way to making people feel good, so why not express the words whenever you can? 

"Thank you for putting your body through 9 months of hell plus the torture of childbirth so we could have this beautiful, amazing child!" 

"Thank you for that awesome orgasm! You really brought your A game today!"

"Thank you for our wonderful vacation! I'm so happy we were able to put the work laptops away for a week to relax together."

Why is saying thank you so hard? It's not.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Tasorundo said:


> Did she thank her husband for providing semen?


Yeah, that will land you in the doghouse for sure if you ask that of a woman who is feeling unappreciated already, lol. You'll be getting the death glare for weeks!


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

norajane said:


> My guess is that friend was feeling mighty _unappreciated _overall for what she does for the children in order to say that.
> 
> Thank you's are free and go a long way to making people feel good, so why not express the words whenever you can?
> 
> ...


I agree. Over the years, I've heard a lot of men say that they wish their wife would express some appreciation for them being the sole (or even just the primary) breadwinner. Plenty of guys like to hear "Thanks for working so hard for our family!" from their wives now and again. So, I'm not sure why it seems quite so appalling to many to say "Thanks for bringing our son into the world!" to a new mother. What's so objectionable about thanking someone who's done something tough and dangerous and painful, even if it was really done for both of you or for the family?

And, yes, my husband did thank me for having our son.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I don't think I ever expressed it as "thank you for our children" I know during the pregnancies and before and after berth I was super supportive and said a lot of things like "You're amazing" "You're doing so great" "You were wonderful" etc. I guess those were my ways of being supportive and saying "thank you". 

Beyond this point I did a thread a while back asking about "push presents" I had overheard two women talking about the jewelry they expected as "gifts"? "reward"? for having a child. Gross.


----------



## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

On my birthday, I always send my mom an Edible Arrangement with a card that reads 

"Thanks for pushing me out."

Never understood why I should get gifts on my birthday, I just popped out, my mom is the one who did all the work.


----------

