# Where is the karma - my return to being single



## WillK (May 16, 2012)

Back in early 2012 I started posting here because my marriage was in trouble, by summer I thought I had it saved but by this summer, it wasn't and I filed for divorce. The divorce finalized in August. A week before a family trip to Disneyworld. By that time we had also closed on separate houses after selling the one we'd been living in, and my ex had started shacking up with a guy she started dating after I filed the divorce.

In September we had our son's 8th birthday party. We co-hosted, and it was my first glimpse of the ex's new boyfriend. He was along and brought his 2 kids. It was a laser tag party, I had a new friend with 2 girls of her own, but she didn't make it to the party. My ex wanted me to now participate in the laser tag because she thought it would be awkward.

Our daughter's birthday was in November, and the ex wanted to have separate parties, but a week later changed her mind because she couldn't afford it. This time my friend was able to come to the party as well with her girls.

My ex is at her boyfriend's house all the time, whether she has the kids or not. My birthday is next weekend, and part of the divorce agreement is that we each get the kids on the day of our own birthday... So, my ex is actually having me pick the kids up from her boyfriend's house...

Which is somewhat remarkable, she had kept the boyfriend a secret. I mean... before we moved away from each other, she'd ask for dating advice, but she blocked me on facebook so I didn't know who he was aside from being Army Reserve or what he looked like. And I know when they first dated she didn't really tell him much about me, notably that she didn't let him know that she wasn't divorced yet and neither did we live separately, nor did she let him know that we both were on the trip to Disney.

From the birthday party I could see he was already welcome with the ex's family.

Much of this is in parallel with how quickly I got close with my ex when we first started dating and how quickly she started spending the night with me and so forth.

... Mostly it's academic interest for me, but I think what I see is that a woman that will get close that quickly can do it with any man, and isn't to be trusted.

For my part... I met a woman I really like, we date, we have sex, but she doesn't want a relationship. I find it perplexing. But our kids are friends, and I enjoy her company when she has time for it.. She's puzzling because she says she's okay with the fact I want a relationship and understands I'm going to look for it, but she does get a little emotional when I start dating somebody else...

To be honest, I'm in a position where I need a while to get my financial house in order and I'm thinking I probably should get through that before trying to get into a relationship.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

We make our own karma.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Well, I think you have to get past the pain and bitterness a bit more, WillK.


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