# What do YOU look for in a man



## kendra2705 (Oct 31, 2010)

What do you look for in a man, and does your OH fill all of your needs , if so where did you find him ??? If not are you going to stay with him or can you not live with the emptyness so to speak???

I look for togetherness
kindness
good sense of humour
best friend type 
honest
cuddles that last not just for 3 months till it wears off . 
intamacy


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Well, I'm no longer looking, but what I looked for was

honesty
willing to take on a ready made family
sense of humor
intelligence
creativity
sensitivity
willing to work hard
supportive

My boyfriend does fill pretty much all of them, most of the time. If he didn't...I suppose it would depend on which needs he didn't feel as to whether or not I'd stay with him.

As for where I found him...on the ******* dating site. It's fun and free, and I am still so glad I went on there and e-mailed him that first time.


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## Tourchwood (Feb 1, 2011)

well ladies you just described the perfect human being. 

we are not talking dreams but reality, and noticed hot women would go with bad guys not sure why?
If a guy treat her as a princess she would leave him or cheat on him, and if he was a jerk she would stick with him, I seen it sooo many time in real life and in this form.


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## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

Met my hubby at a singles dance in Muncie Indiana. 

The things that "sold" me. He had friends and family relationships that were important to him. He was smart. He was not in debt. The first time I had to tell him it hurt my feelings the way he said something to me...he never ever said it again. He liked museums as much as I did. And well the sex as fantastic.


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## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

SaffronPower said:


> Met my hubby at a singles dance in Muncie Indiana.
> 
> The things that "sold" me. He had friends and family relationships that were important to him. He was smart. He was not in debt. The first time I had to tell him it hurt my feelings the way he said something to me...he never ever said it again. He liked museums as much as I did. And well the sex was fantastic.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I look for a personality that matches mine, something of a mind, eyes, and big smile.

he fits what I look for, does not fill all my needs but is working on it.


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## tpb72 (Feb 18, 2011)

It's pretty sad but I learned what I was looking for in a relationship while I was with my baby daddy - basically his opposite. I've found all these traits with my man - and am so happy:

- not lazy
- good communicator
- good sense of humor
- smart
- not violent
- not an alcoholic
- not a drug addict
- kind
- thoughtful

Another trait I didn't know I was looking for until I had it:
- a MAN - someone that can take control in such a way that uber independant control freak me isn't threatened - just feel protected and loved

This was without putting a heck of a lot of thought into it and I'm sure I could come up with dozens more.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Tourchwood said:


> well ladies you just described the perfect human being.
> 
> we are not talking dreams but reality, and noticed hot women would go with bad guys not sure why?
> If a guy treat her as a princess she would leave him or cheat on him, and if he was a jerk she would stick with him, I seen it sooo many time in real life and in this form.


Not true. My SO is not a jerk and if he was I would leave him.

There is no reason why a man can't be loving caring, thoughtful, and be a man, one who stands up for his beliefs but is not a narcissistic jerk. 

Men have to find balance and not allow women to walk all over them and so do women.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

honest
sense of humor
hard working
willing to take responsibility
independent
wide ranging interests
must love dogs


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Tourchwood said:


> well ladies you just described the perfect human being.
> 
> we are not talking dreams but reality, and noticed hot women would go with bad guys not sure why?
> If a guy treat her as a princess she would leave him or cheat on him, and if he was a jerk she would stick with him, I seen it sooo many time in real life and in this form.


I disagree. I don't feel I described the perfect human being. Had I done so, my boyfriend would not be able to meet those needs. While he may not meet them every single hour of every single day, he does meet them for the most part. And that's good enough for me. 

We have our arguments, and I have moments of extreme frustration with him, but he's not a bad guy. He's not a jerk or anything like that. 

My ex-husband was a jerk and a loser, and I did leave him. And I wouldn't hesitate to do the same if my boyfriend did end up acting like a jerk.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

In the long term, I want a man who I can look to, to be at my side at the worst of times. IF he can do that, then the rest all just comes natural (personal need to have that area of trust). That is my ultimate foundation that I think I need to build the lifetime relationship on


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

no sports

Panda: I would die without sports. I didn't know there were men out there that could live without it.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

You know, I've never looked for specifics, I generally try to see someone as how they are and proceed from there.

What I have decided is I want essentially a monogomous friend with benefits with potential to be a room mate for extend periods of time. 

Honest, responsible, and someone I can get along with. Ive yet to see that from any relationship I know mine or my friends as soon as 'love' is added into the mix. People just lose their heads. 

my no's are still the same. No hard drugs, No lies, and No cheating. as well I guess I added one, No potheads. theres nothing worse than sitting in a cloud of pot smoke in a room of "dude man" conversations. 

And even as simple as that sounds, it still seems like Im imagining the perfect man.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My wife has little interest in any sports. Will occasionally watch hoops or NFL or Yankees games. But oddly, and I mean really oddly, she loves bull riding.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Tourchwood said:


> and noticed hot women would go with bad guys not sure why?


 Hot women look for Hot men, and bad boys know how to give the persona of the "Hot guy" by dangling the carrot & not acting interested- probably read some books on getting laid too. Women like a little chase, a little tease, just like a man. Anything that comes too easy - some wonder - what is it really worth. And the hot women usually has more choice, don't they. But then so do the Bad boys, so they leave them in the dust when they find another beauty, when they get hungry for more variety. Also rumor has it they are more aggressive in bed & this is what most women want. 

Me personally (I think I was pleasant on the eyes but I didn't act "hot" in my youth), I already noticed the drama with the bad boy types, I didnt want them, smart enough to know the risk factor involved. I was always intreged by the shy sensitve types, wanting to uncover what they are all about -so long as they were good looking & was into me , a good sex drive, I find these types FAR superior. 

BUt Torchwood, you are right, women are not too bright many times. Here is a quote Big Bear did on another thread that sums this up well: 


> I always kinda thought that women would say they want the night in shining armor, then when he shows up she waives him on because her ex wants her back and this time his band will really make it and he can move out of moms house before his 35th birthday. My solution to this is to be the night in shining armor and ride BY the womans house. Tell her you are on the way to rescue the most fair maiden in all the land. She will weld herself to you and shoot the horse in the head all in under three seconds.





kendra2705 said:


> What do you look for in a man, and does your OH fill all of your needs , if so where did you find him ???


*1.* I want someone who I can be totally myself with (the good, the bad & the ugly) - and he still enjoys me , wants me & loves me in spite of "me. 

*2.* I want someone who is *HONEST* to the core. Hiding is never Ok. Lying is never Ok. I can handle ALL truths / sins / a little waywardness- I dont expect a perfect man, but I DO expect an honest one in all things. And he will get the same from me. 

*3.* I want someone *RESPONSIBLE* with $$, can live within his means, Responsible with employment, anything he puts his hands too, someone who finishes their projects & keeps their "WORD" in all things- to all people. Integrity.

*4.* No alcholics, No drugs, No cigarettes (he quit for me), no gamblers, No physical abusers, No porn addicts, no criminals, No untreated mental illness, No addictions -except to me of coarse. 

*5.* Someone who has a positive attitude, has similar goals & dreams, interests (kids, disclipline, where to settle down)

*6.* *Communication* - someone who does not use the Silent Treatment when angry but is determined to listen, try to understand anothers view, understands the meaning of Humilty & compromise when disagreements come -because they will come. 

*7. * Since he is a man, he requires a Healthy happening *Sex drive*. I need to feel "wanted" and desired by my man or I would grow bored & lonely from lack of touch & affection. Intimacy is something I NEED. Love the flirting, teasing, sexual play. My top Love language. 

*8.* *Religion & Beliefs *- they have to be somewhat "open" minded here - I would not enjoy being married to someone who had an all Black & white rigid mentality, not being open to shades of "gray" in life, or using 
scripture to judge me & control me. I need someone who values REASON along with Love, joy, longsuffering..etc 

*9. * *Carefree sense of Humor *in all things. Also being able to laugh at our mistakes, our blunders -the stupid things we do along the way in life & learn from them. 

*10.* I need a man who wants to be with me MORE than his friends, more than hanging with the guys after work, call me selfish but I want to be #1.


My husband is all of these things +. He was the sweet shy guy in school the girls just didn't notice. Glad he found me


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## Bachelor4Ever (Apr 4, 2011)

It has been my experience that women, especially attractive women, are truly only attracted to men who treat them poorly (i.e. like crap).

Of course women say they seek qualities in men such as honesty, intelligence, creativity, sensitivity etc etc but in reality women find these traits to be "boring" and "drama-free"........and it is relationship drama that women crave more than anything. Women love to tell other women about how poorly their man is treating them and how "she should leave him but can't because she loves him so much...........". 


Now of course there will be rightous indignation from the politically correct crowd about this statement of fact..........but all of "nice guys" on thise board know what I stated it accurate.


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