# Question 4 tha men lol help



## Lovinmyhubby (Sep 10, 2010)

Is there a reason why sometimes a guy would prefer oral from intercourse? Why is there such a huge demand for oral more? Just curious? My husband b confusing me n I jus wonder what others think 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ViperStorm (Jul 11, 2011)

Some of it can be personal preference. Personally, I would much rather have intercourse over oral. But to each his own. Also, oral can be a way of not having to worry about the other partner - not necessarily being selfish but you can enjoy your ride at the time and not worry about the other. It can also be an act of selfishness. It could also indicate an A of some kind. Oral is somewhat less of a commitment and make the WS not feel as bad. I'm not suggesting that but just covering bases. It can also be a phase - I'm not sure about others but I will admit to going through periods where a certain act stays in your head, you think about it a lot, fantasize about it, and ultimately want it. And if it is something your partner is really good at....well nuf said.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

It is also just really hot to watch.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

my husband likes oral over sex. we had a long talk about it, and i was told it was the most intimate act 2 people can do together....

he feels about oral is the way i feel about missionary...its very close and personal, and its close contact and bonding.

it took a long time for me to figure this out, and for him to find the right words to tell me.

[i am or course refering to bj's]


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Honestly I think it;s porn.

Men (and some women) have watched too much porn. 

don't get me wrong oral is fantastic, giving and recieving, but it is not the closest two people can get. 

I would be sad if my fiance thought oral was as good as sex, or was as close as a connection as actual sex. 

I know the pornification of everything has taught us that missionary is boring. I think that's just sad really and people are missing out on something so wonderful if they cannot just enjoy the sweet simple things. 

It's really hard to say how much it means when the person you love connects and unifies with you in this way.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Why Men Love Blowjobs? | Dating & Relationships for Women

Hope that helps. You also have to remember it's one of the few positions/acts that we are on the receiving end and can relax quite a bit. It's just our women taking care us with little physical pleasure for themselves. Preferred over sex is probably not the word I'd use. To me it's a totally different experience. In this particular act you're worry free without concern of taking care of your woman. Done right it can be mind blowing. My wife went through a phase of insecurity about the act like Syrum. Felt it wasn't really an act where a connection can be made and maybe I was just looking to get off. Thank God we got past that with communication.


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## e.p. (Jun 10, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Honestly I think it;s porn.


That is an incredibly simplistic view. 

Sex is one thing, one great awesome thing, but it is easy (for example in the missionary position) for the man to do all the work and for the woman to zone out. Or vice versa.

When you have someone performing oral on you it is incredibly intimate, regardless of whether it's the man or woman. Your most vulnerable, sensuous bits are inside the mouth of your lover, and that mouth has teeth! It takes a certain level of trust to allow that to happen. And to the giver, it takes a level of desire and love to take that part of your lover into your mouth. Traditional intercourse, the penis and vagina is several feet removed from your face, where the majority of stimulus is recorded (vision and smell tend to dominate sensory input). When you are going down on your lover, the stimulus is put right in your face, with the added sensation of taste... I'm also tall so in the missionary position I'm generally looking at a pillow since my wife is slid under me. Oral, I get to view most of her body. I enjoy that visual stimulation I normally don't get in traditional positions...

And there's certain things a tongue can do that neither vaginas or penises can accomplish.

Saying "porn" is a cheap cop-out. 

-e.p.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Great link, Kobo. This ties in with SimplyAmorous's thread about vulnerability.


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## fredless (Jun 12, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Why Men Love Blowjobs? | Dating & Relationships for Women
> 
> Hope that helps. You also have to remember it's one of the few positions/acts that we are on the receiving end and can relax quite a bit. It's just our women taking care us with little physical pleasure for themselves. Preferred over sex is probably not the word I'd use. To me it's a totally different experience. In this particular act you're worry free without concern of taking care of your woman. Done right it can be mind blowing.


+1

Sometimes, it's just really nice to lay back and not have to think/focus on anything but my own enjoyment. There's also a certain level of (for lack of a better word) dominance when my wife is performing oral on me and I'm just laying back and watching.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

It's been awhile since I've posted this.

Getting sucked off is simply about your partner's desire to please you. It's truly about the sex - and the fact that the one performing the act is truly "into" you.

What greater compliment could you get?

I've long felt that I'd be more distraught finding out my spouse blew another man than if she banged him.

Of course, I'd be devastated either way. Yet, the idea that she would be present for another man and desire to give to him what she gives to me in those moments... with basically nothing in it for her except knowing she rocked my world and the need for a drink of soda or beer afterward?

Think about it.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i guess it just depends on the person....i can see thinking, shes on her knees, and the guys is goin to town....

THAT NEVER HAPPENS IN OUR MARRIAGE

we are close, and touching, out legs are all inter-twined and hes is rubbing on me and taking off me shirt, and then off come our pants, our arms are all over one another, he takes my hair down..

plus, we laugh about things, and talk, we get silly..ok i get the giggles for no reason...

for us it has nothing to do with porn, husband has always said, cheating is bad no matter what you do..."just because some random chick wanted to cheat with him, oral is just as bad as straight sex in my eyes".

so if he wants oral to be a close bond, and to him it means something special that only we do, the way we do...then im willing to accept that we have different views on intimacy is, as long as we are doing things together...


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Ok I'm going out on a limb here to say

What's wrong with just wanting to get off. Sometimes. Let the passionate devouring sex happen. It doesn't always have to be about connecting.

I love to hear my H and watch the expressions on his cute face while he gets off.


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## ace4g (Jul 24, 2011)

Men are visual, at least I am. It's fun to see. Men like variety. It's different from the norm. Men don't like limits, at least i don't. it's virtually limitless. Men like foreplay too, at least I do. What can be better foreplay for us than a good BJ. I hope he's putting his mouth on you too. Oral rocks ;-0


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Honestly I think it;s porn.
> 
> Men (and some women) have watched too much porn.
> 
> ...


You are becoming very tiresome. Everything is not about porn. I thought missionary was boring way before I was exposed to any porn. Sometimes the answer is that is that certain sex acts or positions just feel better to a MAN then missionary. By the way I understand the there are large percentage of women that can only orgasm when on top. Is that because of porn too???


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## ManDup (Apr 22, 2011)

Lovinmyhubby said:


> Is there a reason why sometimes a guy would prefer oral from intercourse? Why is there such a huge demand for oral more? Just curious? My husband b confusing me n I jus wonder what others think
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Judging from your syntax/grammar I would guess that you are, shall we say, under 30? So as I understand it, the younger generation goes in for oral far more. In many cases they don't consider it sex, don't consider it cheating, etc. It is often their first (and many subsequent times) sexual experience. First experiences can have a profound effect on the rest of our lives.


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## ManDup (Apr 22, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Honestly I think it;s porn.
> 
> Men (and some women) have watched too much porn.
> 
> ...


A) Do you consider missionary to be more "natural"? Why, then, did missionaries have to teach it?

B) If you consider porn to be a harmful way of learning new sex techniques, what do you consider acceptable? Kama sutra is basically porn.

C) I agree that oral shows a true love and connection, especially swallowing.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

ManDup said:


> A) Do you consider missionary to be more "natural"? Why, then, did missionaries have to teach it?
> 
> B) If you consider porn to be a harmful way of learning new sex techniques, what do you consider acceptable? Kama sutra is basically porn.
> 
> C) I agree that oral shows a true love and connection, especially swallowing.


Quoted for Truth


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Enginerd said:


> You are becoming very tiresome. Everything is not about porn.


She seems to be rather obsessed with porn.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Both oral/playing and intercourse is pretty much intertwined in our routine. Oral kinda starts the session off with the first orgasm anyways. Kinda like canapes and entree, with the mains as intercourse and more oral/playing as the dessert.

As usual with 3 course meals, it takes a while unfortunately, which has got me rather annoyed that these have become standard.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

We don't pay hookers to come. We pay them to leave.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

Conrad said:


> It's been awhile since I've posted this.
> 
> Getting sucked off is simply about your partner's desire to please you. It's truly about the sex - and the fact that the one performing the act is truly "into" you.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I think the appeal is exactly that, the woman's desire to please her man. That's a huge part of it. I think the caveat is that she either initiates or is enthusiastic. Getting a pity/obligation BJ is awful. As is negotiating for one.


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

im in my late 30's and i have never really enjoyed oral for my entire life, it does nothing for me, a hand job would be better to me

but intercourse is my preference, so i guess its just a personal preference type of thing, kind of like if you asked 100 men if they prefer steak or pizza, lol


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

mikey11 said:


> im in my late 30's and i have never really enjoyed oral for my entire life, it does nothing for me, a hand job would be better to me
> 
> but intercourse is my preference, so i guess its just a personal preference type of thing, kind of like if you asked 100 men if they prefer steak or pizza, lol




Man card revoked..


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Man card revoked..


harsh.

Personally I like pizza AND steak, I could probably go for some of each in the same sitting.


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## Phoque (Aug 13, 2011)

I think that the main reason one would prefer oral sex over intercourse is because fellatio itself cannot cause pregnancy.

That, along with the fact of them just liking the feeling more.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

The OP asked why a man (presumably her man) would prefer BJ's to sex.

I love oral sex and I love giving BJ's but I would not say that either one alone makes me feel connected like mutually satisfying sex, where we both give and recieve pleasure. My honest opinion is that if my SO prefered and would continually choose BJ's over mutually satisfying sex between the two of us then I would not like it.

My favourite thing is for us both to give and recieve and feel pleasure and be satisfied.

I do believe porn has taught men that women should be there for their pleasure only, And unfortunately that is reflected in this thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Syrum said:


> I do believe porn has taught men that women should be there for their pleasure only, And unfortunately that is reflected in this thread.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Isn't that straw man getting a bit worn out by now?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

WorldsApart said:


> Isn't that straw man getting a bit worn out by now?


I dont see how my valid opinion is a stra man. Just because what I say doesn't suit you. 

And ManDup might like to do some reading up on missionary which is falsely believed to have been taught by missionaries. That actually made me lol.

It has been a mutually satisfying sexual position since well... Just about forever. There are ancient drawings of missionary and its in the karma sutra.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I love giving my husband oral and he loves how I do it.

I also orgasm while doing it (bonus) without any touching from him or myself. And it's easier to swallow now that he had the big V. His semen is much easier to deal with LOL

Lol! Guess I'm just weird.

And NO, it's not from sex.

(I love missionary too....  )


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## WorldsApart (May 5, 2011)

Syrum said:


> I dont see how my valid opinion is a stra man. Just because what I say doesn't suit you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The OP asked why her man sometimes wanted oral. She never said that's all he wanted, or that he even preferred oral over vaginal.

And yet your blaming porn as the evil that's causing her man to totally disregard her needs and desires, because it told him that she only exists to pleasure him.

Oz, as in Australia, right? That's actually a great study in how a society has disregarded the value of women long before porn was filmed. "Brace yourself Sheela" is still a great pickup line down there, right?


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Syrum said:


> I dont see how my valid opinion is a stra man. Just because what I say doesn't suit you.
> 
> And ManDup might like to do some reading up on missionary which is falsely believed to have been taught by missionaries. That actually made me lol.
> 
> ...


There are ancient drawings of every position including blow jobs. Saying porn is the influence for a man enjoying a blow job more than sex (if he in fact does) because of porn just jumps right over the possibility that he may just be a lazy lover. The reason your opinion is becoming invalid in the mind of many is because your reasons for almost every issue is porn. You've played the porn card too often and it's just becoming boring. Your belief that men are so weak that they can't seperate fantasy from real life rubs men the wrong way. Yeah, I know, you don't care. I can hear you roar.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Kobo said:


> There are ancient drawings of every position including blow jobs. Saying porn is the influence for a man enjoying a blow job more than sex (if he in fact does) because of porn just jumps right over the possibility that he may just be a lazy lover. The reason your opinion is becoming invalid in the mind of many is because your reasons for almost every issue is porn. You've played the porn card too often and it's just becoming boring. Your belief that men are so weak that they can't seperate fantasy from real life rubs men the wrong way. Yeah, I know, you don't care. I can hear you roar.


Yeah porn isn't a very bog problem at all, it only pops up here on these boards as huge a marital issue every single day. But meh.

Any man here can bang on about just about any topic ad nauseam. However if it's one they would prefer not to know about or want to ignore it.

I happen to believe it's a massive issue that is infiltrating the sex lives of almost everyone, except those who don't watch it.

I also just find it odd that anyone can feel closest to someone while being serviced, I feel closest to someone else when it's mutually satisfying, and my needs are not the only ones being met. And I absolutely love oral, plus my SO is fabulous at it, however I still feel closest when we are both giving and receiving pleasure. But I must be weird like that. :scratchhead:

Oh and I answer plenty of threads that are not about porn, but also answer ones that specifically ask about porn, as that is a very real issue for many people.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Syrum said:


> Yeah porn isn't a very bog problem at all, it only pops up here on these boards as huge a marital issue every single day. But meh.
> 
> Any man here can bang on about just about any topic ad nauseam. However if it's one they would prefer not to know about or want to ignore it.
> 
> ...




Do you realize you are on a board that is for marriage problems? And in everyone of those threads people chime in saying that porn doesn't cause an issue in their relationship. I'm just giving you a reason why people are posting what they have posted. Your first instinct to any sexual issues in a relationship seem to be porn unless of course the woman is the one that is being complained about. Either way you're not a man so you receiving oral probably doesn't give you the same feeling as what a lot of men get out it. See the link I posted for some more information. Have a good one.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Syrum! Syrum, listen to me, don't turn away... Usually what I discovered is people who have a problem with one subject is because that subject plagues them... Or at least have... If you have that big of a deal with it, it must be displacement...
Lie to yourself, but don't lie to us... Every guy has not destroyed their relationship with porn, maybe those you have met...

I have watched porn, and eventually I happened to grow tired of it, and my wife was understanding the whole time, *now I don't actively seek it, but if I stumble upon it, I'm gonna watch... As a matter of fact, WE will watch softcore together, and I think we are just fine...*

And FTR, I love a good BJ, and yes it's intimate for both of us, I make sure I give her emotional, physical and verbal support through the whole act...

Speaking of, STAY ON TOPIC...
Please and thank you, and if you have further concern... Please feel free to visit topics for such... Once again thank you.


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