# I wanted a boy I feel like an ass



## newguy

I just found out on ultrasound that I am having a girl. I said to my wife it didnt really mater it was just a preference. But I feel disappointed inside. I feel like an ******* because of it but what can I do?

I mean I dont relate to girl things at all. Not a big talker or interested in girl ovies and stuff. I am very sports minded and was really looking forward to playing around with my son.

Any dads outthere to give me some words? I know the women are goin to scold me


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## valium

you may get a tomboy


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## LaBella

That is so male thinking, you are discriminating against your baby girl even before she is born. I have 2 girls that love to play sports, they run track, have done baseball, basketball, XCountry and now they have settle into soccer. My oldest daughter was a total tomboy until she turn 15 so do not count girls out just because of their sex. Besides once she is born she will have you wrap around your little finger and you will forget all about your machism thinking that boys are to play sport and girls with dolls.

If I were your wife I will be mad at you for a long time.


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## preso

newguy said:


> I just found out on ultrasound that I am having a girl. I said to my wife it didnt really mater it was just a preference. But I feel disappointed inside. I feel like an ******* because of it but what can I do?
> 
> I mean I dont relate to girl things at all. Not a big talker or interested in girl ovies and stuff. I am very sports minded and was really looking forward to playing around with my son.
> 
> Any dads outthere to give me some words? I know the women are goin to scold me



If I were you, I would not share that with your wife.


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## newguy

I really would like to hear from fathers that have both sons and daughters. I just don't see a male having as close a relationship with their daughter as their son.
Especially as the child grows it is exciting to think about all the rough play you can have with your son and how could relate to the things he likes. 

I have a feeling most guys will not front up if they feel the same way for fear of the roasting. But I think most males would rather a son and most females would rather a daughter. You relate better to the same sex I would think.


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## preso

I dont know........... many men love having a daughter. 
and you have heard the saying:

a boy is a boy until he marrys a wife
but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life.

( thats an old saying)


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## jane.

I understand your disappoint, although I am a mother.

My husband already had a daughter from a previous relationship. When I first got pregnant I was hoping for a boy, at least a boy would be a first for the husband. When the tech at the ultrasound announced it would be a girl, I felt so disappointed. But still, I put on a happy face and went out shopping.

The disappointment soon faded though, as my due date drew nearer and the excitement of a new baby grew. We both fell in love with her as soon as she was born.

A year later I gave birth to a son. My daughter is 5 now, and my son 4. My husband joked with me the other day saying that he liked our son (he's been a very high-maintenance child), he's his fourth favorite (after our daughter, his daughter and me). 

So while I am not a male, I do understand your disappointment. But I am sure you will fall in love with your daughter once you meet her.


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## Mommybean

have a feeling most guys will not front up if they feel the same way for fear of the roasting. But I think most males would rather a son and most females would rather a daughter. You relate better to the same sex I would think. 

I have two SONS, and quite honestly, never felt that desire for a daughter you are equating to women. I have a blast with my BOYS, and that includes playing cars, building things, and all the normal boy stuff little boys do. It's not fair to generalize that way....it always irks me when people try to say they feel sorry for me cuz we are done having kids and I did not "get" a girl. 
Just worry about loving your child...don't get so hung up on gender. And, you really may not want to mention your dissappointment to your wife. Besides, its the MALE that determines the gender of the baby...so you have no one to blame but yourself ....LOL!!


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## amberlynn

I have to disagree with the "a mother would want a daughter rather then a son." My husband and I had our first child in Oct 07 and my family was hoping for a girl, my husband and I didnt care either way as long as the baby was healthy. My 2nd ultra sound showed it was a boy, and I must say, he's a momma's boy 100% and I wouldnt have it any other way, altho I grew up a tom boy, and loved doing out door things. I dont think it should matter what God blesses you with, just as long as its a healthy baby. I was the first born and was spoiled rotten by my grandparents, I was a country girl, loved tractors, fishin, watchin baseball games. Just because you're havin a little girl, doesnt mean she wont be into the out door things, just be happy that you're having a child, some people arent as lucky. If I were your wife, you would totally be in the dog house with me.


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## amberlynn

Mommybean said:


> And, you really may not want to mention your dissappointment to your wife. Besides, its the MALE that determines the gender of the baby...so you have no one to blame but yourself ....LOL!!


:iagree: :rofl: :lol:


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## Sandy55

Totally understand!

Our first between us was a son.
Our second was a daughter.

This is the scenario in the delivery room (no clue before hand what it was...):

Delivery happens.
Doctor says: "You have a beautiful daughter...."
My dh says: "WHAT???!!! That JUST CAN'T BE "
The doctor says: "Well, she's a she alright, Mr. S"
My dh says: "No!".
By this time I am looking at him, getting pissed.
The doctor hands the baby girl to the nurse, the baby goes on the warmer...
Then they wrap her up and hand her to me.
My dh actually TAKES THE BABY OUT OF MY ARMS AND UNDRESSES HER TO CHECK BETWEEN HER LEGS!:rofl::rofl:

My dh didn't think he had sperm with an X on it I suppose....

BUT, my dh has a thing about women...he thinks they are all from MARS.

He has a terrible relationship with our dd, it is SO SAD! 

SO, I would advise you to think: "Better luck next time, and go out and get some pink roses and tell your wife you love her and your new "loin" fruit...." .

The sperm decides whether it is a boy or girl anyway....women have ALL X's you need and XY to have a girl, and YOU either give her an X or a Y...... X+X you got a girl. X+Y you get a boy, dude. 

Need to practice rolling the dice better?


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## martino

hope for a healthy kid that is free of all the disabilities out there these days. Autism, Asperger, ADD, ADHD, you name it. I believe something has changed in the environment making all of this much more likely to all kids. Worry about your kid's health before what the dynamics of your relationship might or might not be, that relationship junk is all trivial in comparison.


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## michzz

You're out of your friggin mind. I have a son and a daughter. I love them both--period.

You are laboring under the mistaken impression that how you see the relationship is going to be NOW is how it will play out between you and your child.

Nothing is further from the truth.

My son hates sports, is a computer geek. My daughter loves sports.

Both do not do what i thought they might when they were born.

So my son doesn't like to toss around a football. So what! My daughter likes frillly things and sports. So what!

You have to let them develop their own interests and YOU be interested in what they like.

You can give it the old college try to get them to like what you like. However, that is just selfishness ultimately if they don't want to.

maybe you ought to try relating to the person your daughter is to become and not to your expectations.

Trust me, she will exceed your current impressions. 





newguy said:


> I really would like to hear from fathers that have both sons and daughters. I just don't see a male having as close a relationship with their daughter as their son.
> Especially as the child grows it is exciting to think about all the rough play you can have with your son and how could relate to the things he likes.
> 
> I have a feeling most guys will not front up if they feel the same way for fear of the roasting. But I think most males would rather a son and most females would rather a daughter. You relate better to the same sex I would think.


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## LaBella

:iagree: Michzz, well said, that is exactly what I tried to express earlier, my 2 "Girls" love sports and are very good at it. I have a few nephews that are not half as active as my 2 girls. I have 1 daughter that was a complete tomboy for 14 years. And my youngest will get in as much scraps as any boy is actually giving me gray hair from all the stuff that she does.

Just pray for a helathy baby with 10 fingers, 10 toes and helath all around eveything else will be extra. I can warranty that when you have her in your arms after she is born, all your thoughts of a boy will go out the wimdow.

My husband never wanted a boy to begin with he loves his 2 girls and told me from the beginning that they were going to be girls and he was happy with the outcome. He loves them just the same. :smthumbup:

The problem with you, newguy, is that you have no children, and probably have not been around couples with kids to see the interactions between the fathers and their daughters. My boss is a single father of 2 kids, a boy and a girl (the girl being the oldest) and he has the same affection/play time and problems with both of them without the hand of a "MOM" to help and would not have it any other way.


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## KSimpson99

You feel how you feel - you can't help it.

But I have two girls - wouldn't trade them for the world.


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## Dark Angel

Youre just worried about the future.

Once you hold that baby girl in your arms it will change you forever.

You will adapt. It will take time. Its so different whether its a boy or girl at first.

One day you will sit bolt upright and find yourself sitting at a little table playing tea party with your daughter and her dolls. You will remeber this and you will laugh!

Dont sweat it, be excited.

Besides, who says you cant have more than 1!!


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## GPR

Don't worry about it... and keep your mouth shut.

The second that baby is born, you won't remember that again....


(and you will immediately start hating boys...  )


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## newguy

GPR said:


> Don't worry about it... and keep your mouth shut.
> 
> The second that baby is born, you won't remember that again....
> 
> 
> (and you will immediately start hating boys...  )


Well my wife is quite fine about it. I know and she knows that I will love the baby no matter what. I have been teaching kindergarten for 8 years and am very well aware of not knowing what to expect as far as likes and dislikes.

Fact is though the chances are she will like girl things act like a girl and relate more with my wife. Even my wife is excited she will have someone to go shopping with and watch the girly shows on tv. Dress up and stuff to play around. Yes I know she may be a tomboy this and that. I am just saying what is going to be the more probable.

Are there any dads that can give there experience on this? yes I will love her just the same but I just don't know how well I will relate. I never am very good talking to girls about things, maybe this will teach me. My mates that have sisters have good relationships with their daughters but I see some of my friends without sisters not so close to their daughter. I dont have any sisters myself.

I think it is human nature to have this feeling but western culture tells us its eveil and to feel guilty and not to mention it or you will be called a jerk.


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## GPR

I think you are just feeling the natural scare and uncertainty of being a 1st time expecting father. Obviously, she will talk to Mom about "woman" things as she gets older... but the term "Daddy's little girl" is around for a reason. Little girls, even the most girly girls, will love their Dads. The shoulder to cry on, the one to impress, etc. etc. 

You are worrying too much. Just love her, be with her, and the rest will work itself out.


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## humpty dumpty

After having several miscarraiges and a stillbirth id say the fact that your baby is healthy is all that matters ..once she is born and you look into her eyes i know you will fall in love with her adore her and want to protect her  
Im sure you will be the best daddy to her enjoy every minute and good luck


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## MsStacy

I know you are looking for the "Dad" perspective, but I'm the mom. My daughter is 3 1/2 and I can't get her to do a "girly" thing to save my life. She likes to play cars and trains, roll around in the dirt and is already out running with her dad. She won't watch a princess movie, she prefers CARS, NEMO, THOMAS the TRAIN, or MONSTERS INC. She doesn't play dress up like her cousins, she'd rather be playing with her dinosaurs.

My point is, yes, there will be a time when you cannot relate to your daughter. It may be in toddlerhood, or teenage, it will happen. But just because a "son" would be the same gender as you does not automatically mean you would relate to him. As someone posted above, he may not be into sports, he could be a bookworm or computer geek. I'm female, I have a daughter, she doesn't do the "girly" things with me because that isn't her personality. We play cars, and dinosaurs and monsters....and NO, I don't get it, but I have more fun playing with her (no matter what we are doing) than anything else.

You may not exactly "relate", but that doesn't matter, because you will be extatic when you get to be the one to either teach her how to have a tea party, or throw a baseball.


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## raising5boyz

I have 5 boys as my screen name says. They are a lot of fun. They all love sports and are very active. The funny thing is, from the first child to the last I wanted a girl. Didn't happen. Of course now I wouldn't change it for the world. I was disappointed for a short time each time I found out I was having ANOTHER boy! Now I don't even know what I would do with a girl! Even the child I babysit is a boy! lol 

You're not horrible for feeling the way you do. And it sounds as though you will be a great father. Just love her with all you have and all will be good. I always wished I would of had a better relationship with my father....a good father for a daughter can save her in future relationships....so set the standard for what she will eventually look for in a husband. 

By the way...CONGRATS on your child! So exciting!


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## fairydust

As a mother I have three sons. Would have liked one girl but it didn't happen. When people say things to me about not getting a girl I say "I'll have 3 daughter in laws" They will be my three daughters that I didn't give birth to.

I think my H was hoping for a girl the last time but he never said. I don't think he's disappointed he's super close to our last son.

My best friend has two boys and a girl and her H has often said. I got two boys but my daughter is the athletic one. She even went to college on a partial scholorship and neither boys is much into sports go figure.


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## goatzwife

Wow some of the women in these forums know how to make guys feel worse and unwelcome. The solution is simple; keep your mouth shut, you will get over it. Let paternal instinct kick in. After the baby is born, hold the baby and look into her eyes, I know this sounds weird but smell her a deep relaxing loving breath (its a primitive/psychological thing). It will all be ok. I never wanted any girls either and never did but I know that if I did I would love them just as much and not treat them any better or worse than my sons.


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## kozzy

I'm a guy who was kinda wanting a little girl. We had a boy. 

As has already been stated several times, once she arrives, your preference will mean absolutely nothing compared to the emotions she'll stir in you.


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