# Science Vindicates “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life”



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Science Vindicates “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life”

May 2, 2016 by @chumplady

So here’s some good news from last week — a new study came out vindicating chumps everywhere.

Psychologists asked over 5,000 women chumps about their relationship break-ups. Turns out the chumps fixed their pickers, learned from the experience, and had better future relationships. They also experienced more personal growth outside their relationships.

And karma bonus — the Other Woman who “won” the cheater? They turn out to be the losers.

The study, led by Dr Craig Morris, an evolutionary biologist at Binghamton University in New York in conjunction with University College London, explored the experience of 5,705 women in 96 countries — and is the largest study ever on relationship dissolution.

(read the rest here)


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Well it's no surprise to me that a study proves something we all knew intuitively: Cheaters need to be kicked to the curb. Would love to read the entire study some day. This study focused on betrayed women, I'd like to see a similar study for betrayed men. I'm sure the results would be different for men given that most of the court systems are rigged against them (assuming the BH is likely to obey the court orders).


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

This is a good article on LIARS... called:

*11 Excellent Reasons To Consider Dating A Liar*


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Well it's no surprise to me that a study proves somethung we all knew intuitively: Cheaters need to be kicked to the curb. Would love to read the entire study some day. This study focused on betrayed women, I'd like to see a similar study for betrayed men. I'm sure the results would be different for men given that most of the court systems are rigged against them (assuming the BH is likely to obey the court orders).


Me too..I'd like to see the same study done for men...but the interesting aspect of the findings for me and I think key is *they fixed their mate pickers* - the BS does indeed have work to do after d-day and that should be first on the list - why did I pick this person - there are billions of people on the planet and all experience stress, disillusionment and problems of some sort in their relationships but yet many DON'T cheat - why did I get the good luck of finding one who did...the BS should work on their "mate picker" after d-day before moving on to any relationship....

I'd also like to see the differences and similarities as to how the BH and BW acts in light of d-day - who seeks revenge more often, who leaves more often, etc...
@chumplady is a wise woman and a treasure for BSs.......


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

TaDor said:


> This is a good article on LIARS... called:
> 
> *11 Excellent Reasons To Consider Dating A Liar*


Great article..loves this quote: "If there’s one thing a liar is good at other than lying, it’s being a victim. My boyfriend was always saying he felt misunderstood and abandoned, " So very true..read the Wayward section on SI and this is a theme that is repeated over and over and over again - [email protected] their victims too!!!!


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Yeah, when I saw the article I HAD to share it with you guys. I didn't want to make a special thread just for it - so it was perfect to put it here.

Liars, cheaters - same thing.


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Me too..I'd like to see the same study done for men...but the interesting aspect of the findings for me and I think key is *they fixed their mate pickers* - the BS does indeed have work to do after d-day and that should be first on the list - why did I pick this person - there are billions of people on the planet and all experience stress, disillusionment and problems of some sort in their relationships but yet many DON'T cheat - why did I get the good luck of finding one who did...the BS should work on their "mate picker" after d-day before moving on to any relationship....
> 
> I'd also like to see the differences and similarities as to how the BH and BW acts in light of d-day - who seeks revenge more often, who leaves more often, etc...
> 
> @chumplady is a wise woman and a treasure for BSs.......


To do this,I feel it is essential to learn about Cluster B personality disorders. Many cheaters are disordered,and,not only do they target a certain type of prey,but they are expert chameleons.


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

Very good read, loved it.... We should always learn from our negative experiences, it would be a shame if we dont

Sent from my SM-T700 using Tapatalk


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## drifter777 (Nov 25, 2013)

Of course there is no such thing as "universal" advice - but if I had to provide one and only one word of advice to a BS it would be divorce. Betrayed spouses need a fresh start for the best chance to heal. 

I strongly believe that while it may not be right for everyone or every situation, it is right for the vast majority of BS's. Why risk a living hell (reconciliation) when you can walk away and begin healing today?


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

I now fully agree a WS needs to be hit with D right away upon dday..no other option, and something I deeply regret not having the knowledge to do! The D doesn't have to be finalized but the strong and immediate message needs to be sent to WS loud noise clear. 
I would even say the BS should D if possible anyways and can always really start all over with a remorseful spouse at a later point remarry, kills the old marriage for good.
Again I did none of these things out of complete ignorance about affairs but if I were to go thru it all over again this would only be the way 

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