# I want a functioning family of respect ,honor and love



## Smeyerlms (Sep 22, 2013)

I am having huge issues with my wife about my adult daughters hating her and my wife despising them.
Divorced ten years remarried five,we have 5 children between us.
I have two adult daughters
My wife has three kids two sons that live with her ex and a teenage daughter that lives with us.
My wife and I had a miss carriage 4 years ago and she states the miss carriage was partially because if my one youngest daughters and ex letters e ails and stress.
She blames the stress from my ex and daughter caused the miss carriage.
Then my wife and daughters sued me for college twice and won twice even when i was laid off from work and between jobs.
This caused huge financial hardship to me and my wife.
My daughters tell me mom sued you we did not. 
My brothers sisters and mom now side with my daughters and hate my wife in different levels and even side with my daughters against her.
My wife wants nothing to do with any of them.
After a trip to see my daughters and individually try to straighten thing out and sit down and talk and explain things they want nothing to do with her.
They blame me for alienation as a dad and after putting my foot down and telling them my wife comes first they stopped all communication and as adults have decided to divorce me from there life's. 
Now my wife wants out calls me a door mat to my family and wants a divorce.
I want a functioning family of respect ,honor and love,
Help


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## ceejay93 (Jun 29, 2013)

So confused. Did your current wife or ex-wife sue you? How does anyone get sued for college? 

As for you daughters, you told them that your wife comes first and they've told you that their hatred for your wife comes first. What did you think would happen when you told them that they aren't the most important thing in your life?

You can't suddenly start earning respect, etc. 

btw, you're in the wrong place. This is for infidelity. Ask a mod to move you to a different part of the site geared towards rebuilding a marriage and family.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Could not follow that one bit.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

It's probably a case of your EXW creating drama and discussing this very frequently with your ADULT daughters.

Although your wife shouldn't blame people for a miscarriage..

It seems like everyone is on some type of drama/gossip high.

Your daughters need to realize that they are adults, and even if you made some mistakes they shouldn't use these as excuses to act out this way.. 
And as for college, well most people pay for college alone, without help.. it's hard but that's reality.

It sounds like you have a bunch of entitled kids and a wife that loves drama and conflict.

I suggest you stop being their pawn.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are your daughters?

What was the cause of your first marriage ending in divorce?

It sounds like you married two drama queens. The first drama queen produced drama queen daughters. And now you complain because you picked drama queens.

Your wife is way off base blaming her miscarriage on your children. Do your children know that she blames them? I know that miscarriages cause a lot of emotional pain. But to blame it on someone else it just wrong. Nature causes most miscarriages. You wife needs counseling to get over her irrational blaming of your children for this.

While it’s important for your wife to be the first priority in your life, your children came along long before your wife. They come first. I take it that our income and assets are high enough that your daughters did not qualify for federal financial aid. The law assumes that parents have the first responsibility to pay for their children’s education until age 24. 

The bottom line is that your current wife is not happy that your daughters exist. They infringe on her and thus she wants them out of your life. It seems that she has accomplished her goal. And that’s still not enough for her. She now wants to leave you to put the final flourish on her conquest.

You will never have love, respect and honor in your family as long as you are married to this woman. He will have her and her children. Yours have been discarded. 

She is divorcing you right? So get into individual counseling and see if you can get your daughters to attend as well and patch things up with them.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Smeyerlms said:


> .
> I want a functioning family of respect ,honor and love,
> Help


Then go find a women that can help you achieve this...cuz the chick your with now is only bring out the worst in you.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I think the OP is from NJ, and yes, NJ and some other states have forced non-custodial parents to pay for college and in some cases grad school.

Since I have not seen any mention of cheating, this is not the best forum for this thread.

Yes the stress of your ex and your daughters could have caused the boby to have been lost.

There have been very poor boundaries in your marriage and in your family. These types of dynamics are not uncommon. Your brothers, sisters and mom siding with your daughters is not uncommon either. If they liked your ex and don't like your current wife that will also add to the marriage strain.

You did not do well in working out the D with your ex and your children, nor did you do well in bringing a wife into this family dynamic. 

Even in the best of situations these types of marriages are stressful enough. Your ex did what she did for the kids, whether you like it, I like it, your wife likes it or not. She could not have done this without the courts involvement. It stinks, It stinks all around.


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