# On my Birthday! Really..



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

So ladies I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this bizarre behavior! 
I came back in town on business and contacted my wife as I arrived. Earlier in the week I had asked her not to buy me anything for my bday but we could go out to eat. Reason: We just bought a 3000 refrigerator and I really don't need anything. 

She then asked if I wanted to go out to eat so I said yes. Then she asked where? I said --- and she didn't really like it so I said ---- and she said ok.. SO really we go where she wants on my bday!

I arrived earlier than my son and wife at the restaurant. When they arrive at least she did lean across the table and give me a peck on the lips.

So after dinner we get home and they have a cake and gifts on the table. We do the cake thing, my son made it for me and he is 14 so I comment on the look and thanked him. I sit down to open the gifts which consisted of a belt and a couple shirts. Non of them fit and are too small so I said these are great but I will need a larger size for both. Next gift is a panini pan with a press (to replace the brick wrapped in aluminum foil I had been using). Honestly, I did not want to replace the brick. Secondly, a cooking pan as a gift for the average guy? I an not a chef nor do I really like to cook. 
SO I guess since I wasn't overly excited about the gift and my wife could read my expressions she says well I will just take it back....... and you need to loose weight so no cake for you! Then she tells me you didn't even look at the patterns on the shirts to see if you liked them so when I return for a bigger size I will know. SO I pulled them out and started looking at them. She said you better say you like them if you know what is good for you in a stern tone!

I in turn said "REALLY" you are mad at me because you got the wrong size? She just glared at me.

Then she cuts the cake and gives everyone a plate.. I said I don't need one because I am too fat but thanks! She leans over to me and says I better eat it because my son made it for me. WTF? I did and commented to him on how good it tastes.

Bedtime came and "NO" sex was even mentioned as she played on her facebook games. She knows that would be the best present she could give me!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME..


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

Whose bizarre behaviour am I commenting on? Yours or your wife's?

Because I mean, are you seriously so attached to a _brick wrapped in aluminium foil_ that you would open a panini press and make a face about it? I assume you make sandwiches that way already, so it's not going to turn you into a chef or a woman if you use it.

And the shirt size thing is either her passive-aggressive way of telling you that you've gained weight, or hinting that you need to lose some, but yes the communication is WAY off, for both of you, because you didn't handle it well either. A real sit-down and acknowledgement of this issue sounds like it is needed.

And the choice of restaurant, well that could be seen from either way. If she was 'taking you' to the restaurant, and paying, then yes she has every right to choose where to take you, but again, she asked you first, making it seem like it was up to you, then shot down your answer. So it could be a power thing. But if she legitimately doesn't like the food then it's strange that you'd still want to go there anyway.

Then, I think the sex thing is a symptom of the way you two communicate and behave towards each other. I'm really sorry you didn't have the birthday you envisioned, it really is a shame.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

After the exchange you two had I can't believe you'd want sex with her?

Good Lord you two need to learn to communicate. Those gifts were awful BTW! Nice, uses your birthday to send a message then pouts when you rightfully get pissed off! Your wife sounds like a real b1tch! Wonder why your son made the cake?Not because he was dying to learn to bake, but because he knew his Mom wasn't going to do anything for your Bday and he didn't want it to go uncelebrated. 

You have to stop *****footing around the very destructive issues in your marriage! From all the posts Ive read..
1. Your wife has lost interest in you.
2. Your wife doesn't have the vaginal strength to talk it out like an adult and instead sends these lousy conflicting signals all of which point to the fact that she is unhappy and blames you.
3. YOUR KIDS have picked up on this marital discord and are now entering the game to try to smooth things out!!! Warning Bells!!!

Your and your wife need to communicate. 5 Love Languages, His needs Her needs, Emotional Needs checklist. Since you are the one posting here it seems you are the one willing to explore what's going wrong and how to fix it. Start fixing communication.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

:iagree:

The panini cooker thing sounds great. She got something THOUGHTFUL for you...seeing that you were using a brick in foil....and the you weren't even grateful.

She picked out shirts and LOOKED AT THE PATTERN :lol: holy wow. And you complained about those too.

Nothing worse than giving gifts to someone like that. You'd be lucky if she bought you something again. I probably would just do gift cards.

I do think she thinks you've gained weight...wtf was that comment about you not getting cake? Dang. You're a grown man. 

I think the combo of your attitude and her nit-picking just really makes for a crappy time.


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

I think the OP had a off night starting with dinner. Hell, I can see why He got upset also. I have net received a card from my wife for Father's Day or my birthday for two years. 
He comes home, from a trip and doesn't even get a good kiss and hug. He doesn't get to eat at a restaurant of His choice, and gets flack over His awesome expressions for what I am sure had led up to such a great night already. 

Try having a man, your some of your men pull that on you for your birthday. Giving a belt and tie, or work stuff to a man for birthdays died about 20 years ago. 

Next birthday for Her, take Her to YOUR favorite place to eat, Get Her what YOU want, hint at HER weight, and I almost forgot, just about ignore the fact you havnt seen Her and don't worry about giving a hug or kiss. The , and only then, you get indignant when she has an attitude.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

that_girl said:


> :iagree:
> 
> The panini cooker thing sounds great. She got something THOUGHTFUL for you...seeing that you were using a brick in foil....and the you weren't even grateful.
> 
> ...


Considering she has not cooked dinner but 2 times in the last year I considered the cooking utensil as a slap in the face! Honestly, I am very tired of her not pulling her weight around the house! I should have mentioned that in my post.
Additionally, I asked her not to get anything for my birthday! I asked only to go to dinner with her... and she f-ed that up!


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

that_girl said:


> :iagree:
> 
> The panini cooker thing sounds great. She got something THOUGHTFUL for you...seeing that you were using a brick in foil....and the you weren't even grateful.
> 
> ...


Also I did not complain... I just held the belt and the shirt up and as obvious as it looked said I need a larger size.


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## Aunt Ava (Jan 24, 2013)

How horrible. Sorry you had such a dismal birthday. I don't care how old you are your birthday should be a special celebration. 

You should absolutely get you choice of where to have dinner! In our family everyone gets their choice of either dining out at their favorite place OR their favorite home cooked dinner. I agree with FlGator on your wife's birthday choose your favorite place or don't go out at all, get her something a size or two too small. Or maybe just a card, you know the day after.

Obviously there are bigger issues in play here. It seems your son is very well aware of tensions if he took the initiative to make a cake for you.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh, well that sucks.

If you're dissatisfied with her as a wife and mate, tell her in plain English how you feel.

Doesn't sound like a good place to be


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## Aunt Ava (Jan 24, 2013)

Okay, I took some time and read a few of your other threads. I just have to ask Why, Why are you still with this woman? Is there anything, anything at all she does that makes you feel treasured, special, loved or even liked? 

She doesn't communicate with you, she doesn't acknowledge your presence - when you return from a business trip after several days no kisses, no hugs, no nookie. She doesn't cook, she got a visible tattoo without even discussing it with you, sex is rare and unsatisfactory. What if anything, does she contribute to the relationship? How many more birthdays are you going to let her disappoint you? 

She treats you as an afterthought, from your writings it seems she is apathetic at best. She will continue to treat you badly because you let her.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Ya, why are you still with her?


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Let me just say that before posting this..I haven't read any of your previous posts so I have no idea what kind of relationship you and your wife have, and I'm only going on this one..

In my opinion, it's not her bizarre behavior..it's yours!!

Sorry but if I tried to plan something special for my hubby's birthday when all he asked for was going out to eat, yet I wanted to surprise him with at least a little something more..your wife and son were completely in the right and in fact..very sweet in trying to make you happy on your special day.

YOU opening the shirts and right away saying that they were too small..that would be a stab in my heart right there as I'm sure she tried. A simple "thank you honey" would have made her night. You could have tried them on a day or two later..told her they were too small..and exchanged them. 

Bringing it up that night was just plain rude and I honestly can't blame her for getting defensive. She tried to buy you something nice in addition to the Panini pan with a press to replace the tin foiled brick you were using at the time. 

Again she tried and while reading the disappointment on your face..I'd be a little defensive too. No wonder she said, "No cake for you" as she probably was trying to lighten things up a bit in front of your son.

You really put a damper on your whole birthday celebration..one you should have been thankful that your son and wife went out of their way for. You asked to just go out to eat..while your wife and son wanted to do something extra special. You kinda pooped on THAT parade!!

It's no wonder she just wanted to go to sleep that night and leave you without any sex. She could have read you the riot act and called you a real jerk..but instead she chose to keep silent. I give her credit as she probably cried her eyes out before she went to sleep.

Way to go buddy!!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Memyselfandi,

Is he also somehow at fault for not getting to go to his place for dinner and the lukewarm peck on the cheek?

This was not exactly his finest hour either, but _REALLY?_


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

a couple of jaded posters in this thread that might should leave their own bitterness at home when attempting to advise anothers relationship.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Prudence. You knew what would have happened if you made any half dealings. 

You should have left the discussion to the next day after you had your AFTER CAKE pie, if you know what I mean.

"Honey, oh darn, these shirts don't fit umm wow"



But honestly do you really need to lose weight?


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

flipflops said:


> At least you got presents, cake and dinner at a restaurant. I haven't had any of those things in years...not even a card. Occasionally, I'll get them the day or two after depending on how upset I am that year. :yay: for me!


Flip Flops ... why do you stay married to this guy? I've seen a few of your posts; most of them seem like you are very frustrated. 

I'd be interested to hear your story when you are ready to talk about it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

If hubby and I do decide to give each other gifts for our birthdays, we buy our own gift and leave it at that. Normally we don't exchange. When we tried in the first years of marriage, neither one of us liked what each other got. We were both disappointed in ourselves that we bought gifts the others didn't like. Not the other way around. We rarely exchange at all since we buy usually only what we need when we want it.

For dinner, we both hate going out to eat. We cook a special meal for all of us, including a new dessert. We cook the meal together as well. It's a great time and we've gotten candles out too.

Both hubby and I do not make our birthdays special. It's just another day, but we spend do most the day together on that day, just at home.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Ummmm... Happy Belated Birthday?

Sounds like it was stressful.
True, I wouldn't have wanted sex (on either wifes side or hubbys side) after a night like that.. but,
It sounds like you both could have benefited from a stress reducer like sex.


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