# He's coming to get his things Friday, but abandoned me for OW, need HELP!!



## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

I don't know what to do - and need some advice. 
To sum up again: my SO of 9 1/2 years left me two weeks for a woman he'd been having an affair with behind my back for 2 months. 2 months of elaborate scheming and lying - and no remorse. 

Unfortunately, we never married. He always seemed to "never have enough money" for the altar. This is the same man who'd lived at home until he was 41 (mother and sister), then me, and now - this new woman. 

He told me that he would pay the rent to help me until the end of March. Now, I've found out that he's going to Turkey on the 18th (he's a musician). He said he didn't care about breaking the lease. He's a broke musician and "you can't get blood from a stone" (he makes enough money - and he's getting $3,000 when he goes to Turkey).

Today, he texted me (I don't talk to him - it's too upsetting), and told me he wants to come by and pick up the rest of his things. It's February 20th and he's only paid half of this month's rent. I put all of his things in the storage unit downstairs and padlocked it. I'm afraid, if he takes everything, I'll never see another dime. On the other hand, he can also say, he won't pay another dime until he gets his stuff. 

Considering that it was I who invested in every stick of furniture, towel, utensil, he doesn't have alot of things of monetary value. If I had to add it up - PERHAPS a grand? IF I'm successful selling them. Not even a month's rent. The worth is more in sentimental, What's on his computer, his family's info, photos, birth, death certificates, or personal collections, or his amp, mic - not worth ALOT, but would be irritating to replace. 

I know this is terrible - but I took all the clothes back I gave him. He never, ever bought himself a shirt, coat, or even underwear or socks the entire time we were together. I told him SHE could buy his things for him now. 

I don't know what to do. 

Should I prepare I legal document saying he gets his things if he agrees to continue paying the rent until end of March, than half until end of June? and have it notarized? 

My friend who is a lawyer told me to take him to small claims court for breaking the lease, emotional distress, (easily proved by the financial losses of my company) and sue her for "tortuous interference in a contract". However, I don't know his address. I'm going to have to pay for a background check company to get the address (Intellius? US Search?). Do I tell him I'm planning this when he comes on Friday?

OR, do I tell him to NOT come on Friday AT ALL, it's too soon for me? I just don't know what to do. It's really painful - I need to get my ducks in a row, and I need the financial help. I'm not going to make it otherwise. 

I'm already struggling with trying not having a nervous breakdown and keep my company having revenue coming in. 

I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm desperate.

Advice?


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

He owes for half of whatever is left on the lease.

If you give him his stuff you'll probably never see him again.

Even if you sue him and win in small claims court, collecting against the judgment is another matter entirely.

Keep all his stuff under lock and key until he pays for his half of the lease.



harmonynme said:


> Unfortunately, we never married.


Why is it unfortunate? 

He still would have left, only you'd be stuck with the cost of a divorce and maybe you'd have to pay him spousal support on top of that given that you're the one with the money.


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## DumpedAgain (Feb 14, 2013)

I used to be a broke musician, it is a great excuse to be useless

Don't give himself his crap, hold firm


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

You say his stuff is in the building under padlock? Ya...you need to get that stuff to where he can't get to it to have any leverage...he breaks the lock (and he will) it's his and your done. Find another place to store it...he can pay you what you want/need to get it back...I'm not a legal person but this is the route I've taken in my marriage....

Stbxh wanted all his garage stuff tools etc....he!! No. All his stuff is where he can't get at it and he left me with thousands in debt...smartest move I made because now I have something to bargain with even tho legally he's responsible for half...

Store his stuff elsewhere until you can slow things down and think a bit clearly for sure....if he gets his stuff he isn't going to pay you a thing...why make things ez for him? No way. 

This is my take. Best move fast...and move it ALL...and change your locks....store anything else of value that's yours for now also...just to be safe....just a thought....


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

totamm said:


> He owes for half of whatever is left on the lease.
> 
> If you give him his stuff you'll probably never see him again.
> 
> ...


Thanks for that. I probably would be stuck with the lawyer. But I don't have any money - at all. That's the problem.

He's been paying the landlord (putting the $ in my bank acc't and then I pay) steadily, in dribs and drabs, but he's behind, and spending money cooking her dinners (he's famous for that).

I'm only worried that the landlord, because his name is still on the lease, may insist he's allowed to get his things in the storage. Especially since he's the one paying. The landlord has been under the impression we've separated, but seeing a counselor. The landord also lives down the street.

But I still think the $$ is going to stop the minute he gets his things. 

SHE's also been advising him on his rights (she changed his postal address). Previously, that had been my advantage.

"you need to get that stuff to where he can't get to it to have any leverage...he breaks the lock (and he will) it's his and your done". 

That's what I'm worried about. But I have nowhere to put it. The one person I have asked that I know who has a car, and storage, said they couldn't do it.

He's already threatened to tear the storage apart, to get to his things. 

Now, I do have one last option. I downloaded all of his invoices, and bank statements over the last three years. Since he gets benefits, he's lied to both social services, and the IRS about how much he makes. I even downloaded the doctored bank statements he made for it in the first place. I then made a copy, and sent copies of everything to Florida. So, there's that. 

This is a pied piper, and when he was romancing me, and I was doing everything for him, life was okay. But when I stopped, I was punished (he'd stay out late - or - find a woman who did). 

I left behind a 3 bedroom house in Italy to entirely rebuild a life, and have been left in the 'burbs in NY. He now has a better apartment, better furniture, and a better zip code - instantly. And has left me penniless.

He did take me food shopping a week ago, which yes, seemed decent - but, at the very same time - I tripped and fell in front him while we ran for the train, and I wrenched my knee, and my hand, and he said NOTHING. Not a "are you ok? are you hurt?", as I was holding my knee, and hand, in agony. NOTHING. He just sat in silence, as far as he could.

As we were walking back, he was walking a good 20 clips ahead of me (guess he was late), while I LIMPED behind. 

When he decides he's done, he won't show even a feeling of general empathy. We're talking cold - sociopath cold. 

With the small claims court, I know I don't have a chance in hell of winning the tort case against her, but he might be protective enough of her to just not want to drag her into it. 

I now have a day.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

harmonynme said:


> He did take me food shopping a week ago, which yes, seemed decent - but, at the very same time - I tripped and fell in front him while we ran for the train, and I wrenched my knee, and my hand, and he said NOTHING. Not a "are you ok? are you hurt?", as I was holding my knee, and hand, in agony. NOTHING. He just sat in silence, as far as he could.
> 
> As we were walking back, he was walking a good 20 clips ahead of me (guess he was late), while I LIMPED behind.


He left you for another woman who he now lives with, you're headed for divorce, he's not paying his share of the finances, you've got his stuff locked away in storage, he's threatening to break the place apart to get to it, you've download important papers of his to blackmail him with, you're planning to sue him in small claims court, and you're wondering why he isn't showing you any compassion?

I don't get why he took you food shopping. Probably to try to nice you into giving him his stuff back. It was probably the last place he wanted to be. Are you sure you tripped by accident? Where was he when you fell? How close to the edge of the platform where you?


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

FIRSTLY, we aren't married. I've not mentioned to him anything about small claims, nor the accounts, or the "blackmail". He knows NOTHING about ANY of this. This is JUST IN CASE - when he take his things - and stops paying. HE ALREADY BROKE THE LEASE, and said "so sue me. I'm a broke musician".

So, since he knows NOTHING of any of this - and I have given him EVERYTHING he has asked for up til now, INCLUDING his half-full COCAINE BAGS that I found in his drawers while I packed his stuff in boxes, I'm the one who's been pretty damn decent!!!!!!!

We're talking about survival here. How cruel of you.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

harmonynme said:


> I have given him EVERYTHING he has asked for up til now, INCLUDING his half-full COCAINE BAGS


You gave him two bags of cocaine?

Seriously?


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

totamm said:


> You gave him two bags of cocaine?
> 
> Seriously?


Yup. They were a 1/4 full. And I gave them to him. I WANT him to be using now. Let HER experience the pains of his drug use (well they use together, anyway - when she's isn't meditating, hiking, and eating vegan -SERIOUSLY).


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Should have called the cops on him. 

Let her experience being in a relationship with a convicted drug user.


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## All of a sudden (Jan 24, 2013)

Maybe post an ad for a roomate? Salvation army can help with utilities for one month. Sometimes churches or other organizations ( youll have to look in phonebook and ask ) will pay your rent for a month or two. Foodbanks, apply for emergency aid. Try and get some help. Scary being in a spot where you have no money and dont know what to do.

What a di&k.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

too bad you cant find a place where he can't get to his things...that's going to be your only leverage girl...hope your still working on that...you need to move his stuff or you will have nothing... 

you shouldn't have gave him his coke...shoulda either called the cops and busted him out or dumped it and let him tweak...lol. 

geez...move his stuff... ya gotta...cos he's gonna come get it...and be done...hang onto it until he pays...hmm....I understand the not having money thing...how about just being able to store some of the bigger things at a friends house? computer? favorite clothes??...'some' stuff??? At least move it for now?


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

too bad you cant find a place where he can't get to his things...that's going to be your only leverage girl...hope your still working on that...you need to move his stuff or you will have nothing... 

you shouldn't have gave him his coke...shoulda either called the cops and busted him out or dumped it and let him tweak...lol. 

geez...move his stuff... ya gotta...cos he's gonna come get it...and be done...hang onto it until he pays...hmm....I understand the not having money thing...how about just being able to store some of the bigger things at a friends house? computer? favorite clothes??...'some' stuff??? At least move it for now?


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

Stella Moon said:


> too bad you cant find a place where he can't get to his things...that's going to be your only leverage girl...hope your still working on that...you need to move his stuff or you will have nothing...
> 
> you shouldn't have gave him his coke...shoulda either called the cops and busted him out or dumped it and let him tweak...lol.
> 
> geez...move his stuff... ya gotta...cos he's gonna come get it...and be done...hang onto it until he pays...hmm....I understand the not having money thing...how about just being able to store some of the bigger things at a friends house? computer? favorite clothes??...'some' stuff??? At least move it for now?


I KNOW!!! I've tried!!! I don't know ANYONE willing to do it!! i spread all of his clothes out among all of my clothes in storage. But amp, is in there. The mic, mic stand, I put behind the fridge.

The PC, I can easily temporarily render useless again, and he cannot use it again unless he calls a computer repair person (it's a secret, but it's very, very easy, and does not harm the computer). 

He owes $825.00 for the rest of the month - DUE SUNDAY. He wants to come tomorrow. And - he leaves March 18th to play in Turkey for a month. 

OR:

I call him, and tell him what I have on him. I also have her physical address now, so I can serve her, as well. 

I began getting terrible anxiety starting late this afternoon, just at the idea of seeing him. The washing machine in my stomach, racing thoughts of fear, the future, him, her, him and her together, him, me, him and me together, he and i fighting, and not, yada yada yada.....i was blindsided by it. I didn't expect this wave of emotions to come at me. 

I've tried to keep myself as busy as possible, but it's difficult. 

I finally broke down and took half an anti-anxiety med. 

I DON'T want to be here tomorrow. The THOUGHT of seeing him triggers me, much less the actual act~! Then add on a potential explosive situation and.....

I asked a friend of mine if her husband could be present, but the chances of that are slim and none. 

What to do. I don't want to go dirty. I don't. But I can;t get more F'ed than I am now, either!!


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

totamm said:


> Should have called the cops on him.
> 
> Let her experience being in a relationship with a convicted drug user.


I see where he goes by my cell (tracks him by GPS, and records his texts - needed for collecting evidence - not stalking, I promise - I was an investigative journalist, I know how to do all this stuff) and how late he stays out. 

It's already starting. She waited for him to come back after he "made her a wonderful dinner" - with a "glass of wine and a kiss, after his gig"; he stayed out until 8 a.m. in the morning, instead.

I pay for the cell phone bill, by the way - I'm stuck in the contract, and dont have the extra $50.00 to buy out the contract.


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

All of a sudden said:


> Maybe post an ad for a roomate? Salvation army can help with utilities for one month. Sometimes churches or other organizations ( youll have to look in phonebook and ask ) will pay your rent for a month or two. Foodbanks, apply for emergency aid. Try and get some help. Scary being in a spot where you have no money and dont know what to do.
> 
> What a di&k.


I am trying. I've already been to social services - spending half days there, three times now, starting the process. 

I did get emergency food stamps. But it wasn't alot, and already half gone.

It's so hard trying to keep my business going, and a full time job trying to get to all these organizations, as well.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Post on craigslist what a pos he is.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

harmonynme said:


> I KNOW!!! I've tried!!! I don't know ANYONE willing to do it!! i spread all of his clothes out among all of my clothes in storage. But amp, is in there. The mic, mic stand, I put behind the fridge.
> 
> The PC, I can easily temporarily render useless again, and he cannot use it again unless he calls a computer repair person (it's a secret, but it's very, very easy, and does not harm the computer).
> 
> ...



Ugh! I understand that anxiety! I like a bit of Xanax myself on occasion but rarely use it now I no longer have to see my ex unless it's in a court room. Wow you got a GPS on his cell and the ability to record his texts? Kewl...lol..that's a trip. I wish I knew how to do that back in the day...woulda made me crazy though...now healing.. 

So 'no one' will help you with temporarily storeing his stuff? Dang...sucks cos that's the way to go. Sigh...I'm tellin' ya...for him to come around and he can't get a dam thing...you checked into storage places? I have my stbxh stuff stored and it's about 40 bucks a month...I spose...yea...you said money is tight...no deal huh?... 

I'm anxious to find out how this plays out when he comes over...


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

Stella Moon said:


> Ugh! I understand that anxiety! I like a bit of Xanax myself on occasion but rarely use it now I no longer have to see my ex unless it's in a court room. Wow you got a GPS on his cell and the ability to record his texts? Kewl...lol..that's a trip. I wish I knew how to do that back in the day...woulda made me crazy though...now healing..
> 
> So 'no one' will help you with temporarily storeing his stuff? Dang...sucks cos that's the way to go. Sigh...I'm tellin' ya...for him to come around and he can't get a dam thing...you checked into storage places? I have my stbxh stuff stored and it's about 40 bucks a month...I spose...yea...you said money is tight...no deal huh?...
> 
> I'm anxious to find out how this plays out when he comes over...


It was a blessing and a curse. But I've learned to use it in a way where I've simply trained myself not to look at the unpleasant things. I've had to. 

I'm going crazy, trying to think, t[email protected]!!!!

Heading to post office now to drop some customer packages off. Going to have to call him, and drop the "bomb". We'll see. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to be here or not. I don't know if I can take it.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

If he doesn't give you the money I say sell his stuff.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

Checking in...


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

Stella Moon said:


> Checking in...


He didn't show up all day, didn't hear either, I checked his phone, and saw that he was out all night - again. Then went back to Queens about 2 pm or so. Thought I was in the clear, he's be too tired. 

Then, at 5 pm, he walks in the door. My stomach dropped. I told him I asked him to call first, that we had to talk. "So, talk", he said, while he dismantled the computer (which I paid the repairs on) to take with him. 

I ask him, nicely, to please pay full rent, as requested, until end of March. Then - half until end of June. He thought it over, then said he couldn't. He;d lost too much work. But "we'll see". 

I insisted, told him no, "we'll see isn't good enough". That we have two years left on the contract, and asking to pay half the rent and letting him out July 1st was MORE than fair. And to please sign a document I prepared to that effect. He told me there was no way he was signing a document. 

He then ripped out all the cords, the modem, the phone, unplugged EVERYTHING connecting all the computers, leaving me with me a tangled mess and about an hour to reconnect my phone, my modem, just to get back on line again. I should've taken pics of the mess -I forgot. I'll just have to recreate the havoc.

He insisted on his things. I told him "no agreement, no things". He said he'd open the padlock with a crowbar. I told him I'd call the police if he did. He said I was evil, and now he REALLY understood it was the right thing to do in leaving me. 

I stayed calm, never, ever raising my voice. I asked him again to sign the document. He said "hell no", I then unpacked the rest of my info - I'd downloaded the statements, invoices, unreported income, doctored statements. etc. "Are you BLACKMAILING ME?" I told him I didn't want to. All I wanted him to do was the right thing.

He said he'd be back, and left. I then called Sprint, and had his phone reported lost. And he his now without a cell phone. Since I pay the bill, I'm tired of letting him use the phone. 

This is a guy that's used to getting what he wants. He also takes things for granted. He takes for granted he's been continuing using the cell - I'm paying the bill for, and he's not contributing to - this whole time. So,as of last night - he no longer has it. I have enough evidence off the tracking that I need in court, anyway. 

Sometimes the tracking is a bit behind on time, like last night - he'd gotten a ride over here by car. I'd not expected it. It was too fast for me to see he was on his way here. 

The only problem - I've no way to reach him, except her home phone. But so what. 

The other- I had made a new payment agreement with Coned, but he had to sign the letter. The problem? he put in a change of address. So, all the con-ed bills are being forwarded to the new address. (He'd let the con-ed bill go, too), and now, there's NO WAY, he'll sign it willingly.

Plus, with all of this triggering my disorder, my business is in the toilet. My bank account's frozen because ppl didn't get orders - I'm trying to get them out, but can't do it fast enough, it's a nightmare.

I cried myself to sleep at 9 pm, and woke up every hour on the hour, until now. 

I'm scared. I don't know what the next step is.


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

I also have to talk to the landlord today. I'm terrified he can come in at anytime, every time the door opens to the apartment bulding, it could be him.....He's EXTREMELY vindictive.


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

I spoke to the landlord. I was even crying. He's was an absolute jerk. All he said was "I WANT THE BALANCE, I'VE GOT TAXES TO PAY. IF HE'S NOT GOING TO PAY, I'M GOING AFTER YOU".


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

The landlord has a legal right to his money, and he's got overhead and bills to pay as well. Believe me, as a landlord myself, the last thing you want to do is have to chase tenants for rent money and start an eviction process that will cost him legal fees that he might not even get back. You seem surprised that he's not more sympathetic, given that you were "even crying" when you spoke to him. It's not his problem. All he hears is that the rent isn't going to be paid, and he's out that money through no fault of his own.

He'll go after you _and_ your boyfriend. If your boyfriend has money, which he apparently does, that he's spending on the new girl, then he may have to ultimately pay up. 

If you can't pay the rent, then you might want to consider moving out, so the landlord can rerent the apartment, in which case you "might" not be liable for any months left in your lease that the apartment was rented to someone else.

But you can't just stay there, not paying rent, expecting the landlord to be understanding, that's not his responsibility.

Not sure what you mean about landlord being vindictive, until a court says otherwise, you have the legal right to stay in the apartment and your lease probably limits or may prohibit your landlord from entering your apartment without good reason, I suggest you check.


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

totamm said:


> The landlord has a legal right to his money, and he's got overhead and bills to pay as well. Believe me, as a landlord myself, the last thing you want to do is have to chase tenants for rent money and start an eviction process that will cost him legal fees that he might not even get back. You seem surprised that he's not more sympathetic, given that you were "even crying" when you spoke to him. It's not his problem. All he hears is that the rent isn't going to be paid, and he's out that money through no fault of his own.
> 
> You know what? I've just been through hell these last 12 hours. I don't know why you bother to reply except to express your opinion about your positions. Have you EVER GONE THROUGH WHAT ANY OF US HAVE? Because you don't seem to.
> 
> ...


IF I WANT TO BE A REAL A*HOLE, I CAN STRETCH IT OUT 6 MONTHS. I KNOW THE TOWN'S BLDG INSPECTOR, I CAN KNOW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE, WHAT HE OWNS HOW MUCH HE PAYS, AND TURN HIS ASS IN TO THE STATE, AND FED, BEING A LANDLORD YOURSELF, HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT? 

BUT I'M NOT. AND HAVEN'T 

SO, JUST LIKE I'M SAYING TO HIM - BACK OFF!!!!!!!! I DON'T NEED THIS NOW. 

So do me a favor, and don't reply to my posts. It only makes it worse. 

You seem to have some anger with women, or are just hostile in general, I don't know, and I don't care. 

I'm looking for a sympathetic word, phrase, and some direction on this site, that's what I need, to keep me out of the damn hospital. Not to defend my damn self.


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## NoIssues (Oct 9, 2011)

If you keep his stuff he can call the police whom will tell you you have to give him his stuff. If he is still on the lease then he has the right to return. He isnt going to pay any more. Get over it.

Go talk to your landlord directly to see if there is any option they would grant you that is more appealing than going into default with them. 

Any advice that deviates from this is based on emotion not the law and is worthless setting you up for legal hassle and false hope. Wrap this chapter up and move on and dont date a man child ever again.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

totamm what is your story? I've searched to find an original thread on you to see what your back story is and to find out why your even here and I find nothing. 

harmony...your landlord sounds like an unworkable dooshbag. imo he could have been sympathetic and understood your trying to do what you can to keep a roof over your head and he didn't need to be such an azzwipe about it...his cooperation imo would be in his best interest...just my take...yes he has a business to run but people fall on hard times...sht happens and the girl is trying to keep her frggn home. 

as for your ex's stuff...screw what the cops 'might say'...dude owes you money...I stand by hiding/keeping his stuff till you get the cash...its working for me...my stbxh cant do shxt! Cops couldn't help him either...and he tried...and no one can make me give up anything until a mutual agreement is achieved...it's called negotiation. ..again...he owes me money...and unless I"m happy he's not getting his 'crap'... granted the difference here is were married...but some of this stuff is what he did come with...and I'm still not giving it up...it's in storage under someone else's name...and no one can make me do squat. It's my bargaining chip and being used as such...

You need to keep pressing on girl and keep trying to figure it out...it's going to be a long road...but keep stead fast...I like how you stood up to him...and good for you on the blackmail bit...smart...they guy owes you money...and he's backing out...you need a place to live...I don't see what the problem is in doing all that you can to hold onto a roof over your head...do what you got to do...

he sounds like a real piece of work...too bad you just can't bail...with all his stuff...try and keep holding onto all the cards you can for as long as you can... a girl has got to eat...and needs a place to live...

I reported my stbx's cell stolen as well...I was paying for it also...come to find out later...he i was still paying for his car insurance too...wtf...really? I cancelled that...told them to send the notice to my house...so he wouldn't even get it...screw him...screw them both... lol.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sell his stuff NOW for rent, etc. 

change the locks on your appartment for security reasons. 

Advertise for a roommate to help pay your rent. Or move out and stay with your mom until you get your life back together.

Right now you have to stop worrying about him and take care of yourself. He's gone. He has no money. Forget him. He was a huge mistake.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You say that you are getting info to take him to court? For what? It sounds like he has no money that anyone can get to. 

Stop spending time on this.


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## harmonynme (Feb 17, 2013)

I was waiting for your post! So glad you did! Just a kind -understanding "been there" response, man, jesus! That's whta I came to this site for! 



Stella Moon said:


> totamm what is your story? I've searched to find an original thread on you to see what your back story is and to find out why your even here and I find nothing.
> 
> I searched through threads as well on toamm, and my guess is seems to be a man with very little to do, with an anger issue. Because I've also seen the other threads. Nasty.
> 
> ...


I've reported lost at the moment. I'm going to send him an email, with the legal agreement attached, for him to sign. 

I don't care what the others say - I downloaded all of the bank accounts, his regular employers, and paychecks, his assets, the contracts, and if needed, I'll get the judgement to attach his wages. She owns her apartment, so, he's not paying rent. I'm going to Queens county on Tuesday to file 3 lawsuits.

In the meantime, I've put anything that's worthwhile on Craigslist, and eBay. 

Fighting to keep my mental wits about me to going to be difficult. I've not really slept in two days.

I took pictures, also of the wreckage he left - it at least shows how violent he can be. 

Isn't it awful, that I went to bed last night still missing the a*hole? 10 years......


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

oh honey...I've done my share of 2 X 4'ing and have been 2X4'ed...if thats what your referring too..haha! TAM is indeed an important place for me also...first place I landed for support and these guys kept me from being stupid and helped me get my balls back tell ya whuut...some of them have never even been on my thread yet I familiar with them and they've helped me!  

Sounds to me your on a mission..I like that about you..your taking action and I'm with Ele...since you can't store his stuff..sell the shxt...bet he thinks twice b4 screwing and walking out on a woman like this again...lesson learned. I bet mine learns one too...in a sense that he best move his shxt in one hoist man...lol! Cos now...oooh it's not been easy...for him...me either ...being broke and all but back to that bargaining chip...Idda sold my stbx's stuff too...yep. But was told I can't do that but I sure CAN hold it until there's a mutual agreement...so I am...best decision I ever made. 

I'm rooting for you...I think you should move though...relocate...do your thing and start fresh...how long did you say your lease was for? Will he release you from that by chance? ( your land lord) What if you went to him again and asked? What's your take on that? I also just reread you just had your mom move in to help you out...ok gotcha. I'm just trying to help you find ways to mend your heart...I wish I could move...yet I love my lake house but don't think I will will stay more than two more years maybe a year...sometimes I think even less because my heart is so broken and impatient to heal. 

I understand the missing him part...yep...hate that don't you? I wish we could be turned off to that...I hate missing him...thinking about him or craving him...ugh! As time goes on tho...TAM is right...you do get better/stronger/recover...I want someone who is good to me...I have no idea when or if I will ever be found...but I know I want to love again...I am worthy...and so are you...

How are the sales going? hear from him? update me!


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

by the way...you have to sleep...even if you have to take something to do it...over the counter benydryl (diphenhydramine) is cheap and safe...will aide in getting you sleepy...it's the same stuff in 'unisom'...or tylenol 'pm'....just a suggestion...I am an insomniac...I work night shift...(by choice) and I do take prescription ambien...works for me...I like it...

point is...get your sleep on...sleepy time tea helps...but of course...it can wake you up to make you pee...which it does me...then it just pizzes me off...haha!


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