# I'm just done.



## Snow Fighter (Jul 19, 2018)

She stole the entire tax refund a few years ago, found out she blew all the money we got as gifts from the wedding, she was unfaithful. 

No remorse from any of it. Now she breaks a part of my truck that I use to make money on and says "whatever" and hangs up me. 

It's finally sinking in that her words and actions do not show that she cares deeply and my presents is an inconvenience for her. I don't get an apology, I get deflection and blameshift, with a touch of gaslighting. All she had to do was say yeah I broke the tailgate on your truck and it was really immature of me to invalidate the problem by saying "whatever" and hang up. I can't have a normal full filling marriage when these are the adds stacked up against me and it's been this way for YEARS.

Not anymore.

I'm just freaking done.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

So have you filed yet?


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## Snow Fighter (Jul 19, 2018)

Not yet. I'm moving all of my stuff to a spare bedroom for now.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Snow Fighter said:


> Not yet. I'm moving all of my stuff to a spare bedroom for now.


In house separation is a good step until you can make it legal.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

If you are done then be done. If no action taken you'll just wallow.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It likely won't be easy to end this because she probably doesn't want to give up something that benefits her. She thinks you'll always be weak because that's been the pattern. Prove her wrong.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

See a lawyer.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> See a lawyer.


Now!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Are you asking for directions to a lawyer's office?

If so, you should have asked for those a long time ago!*


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I know you're going through a rough spot, but I had to share the humor I found in your post:

*"You can steal from me, cheat on me, but mess with my truck?!? That's it! I'm outta here!"*

I think you have the basis of a country song


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Most definitely see a lawyer now. Ask her to move out. 

Separate her from your finances, protect any items of value in the house. 

Now, now, now!

Know this for sure; as soon as she believes you're serious about separating she'll ramp up her exit plan to take all your stuff.

Her actions show she has no qualms destroying you emotionally, physically, financially, and including your future. 

All things point to a speedy filing will help future you recover quicker, once you're on the path to recovery.

The longer she has to stew and plan before actual legal action by you the more harmful her exit plans will be on you.

She's already thinking on it if not getting ready to throw some domestic abuse charges on you for made up reasons. 

Don't doubt it. She will be nothing but hostile. She will clean out joint accounts, sell your stuff, file police reports, and more.

No one here can stress enough that with info presented in your post your W is on a path to leaving with no care for your well being at all.

At all.

I'm stressing all this to try and get you to fully understand this concept. It comes as totally foreign to one thinking about their spouse but is absolutely reality. 

Sadly, if she has this much disregard for your best interests as your Wife, think about that times a hundred as you talk leaving to her. 

Her hostility has gears it hasn't hit yet. 

When she hits 4th gear then overdrive on you it may create problems you'll need years to recover from.

The best protection is talk quickly to a lawyer. Separate finances while doing. Use a VAR in all interactions. 

A false domestic abuse charge is a very, very real concern. That will get you out if the house. It's a common ploy.

Protect yourself across the board.

You have a great future. You'll get to enjoy a life.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

It sounds like it is well past time that you end this. From what you describe, she has zero respect for you or for the marriage. Contact an attorney ASAP. How long have you been married? And do you have children together? Does she work full time?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Make sure you separate finances NOW -- don't wait do this TODAY.
Move 1/2 your funds into an account that only YOU can access. Get rid of any joint Credit cards or ANY other method for her to take your funds. You already know that she has no qualms about stealing your money -- when she finds out you are done, it will go exponential if you have not protected yourself.
Also, any valuables, things you don't want to get taken -- MOVE them out of your house to someplace she cannot access (storage facility, family member, etc.).

See what Ragnar is telling you. DO ALL OF THAT before you talk to her.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out she is still cheating on you since she had no repercussions the first time...


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## Snow Fighter (Jul 19, 2018)

Yes my plow truck is off limits lol. 

It's got enough things that need to be fixed from the snows the past few weeks. 

She seems to have a grandiose sense of herself that she can screw over whoever and they should be happy to receive.

I cannot force her to move out so I'm setting up shop in a guest bedroom. I'm very familiar with false domestic assault accusations. I have a friend who simply restrained his wife from beating the crap out of him and he got arrested. Now he's on probation for a year, has to take classes, and is being forced to attend AA. His life went to hell in a matter of days.

We have a 3 year old daughter. We have separate bank accounts since she's a thief. 

I've put up with so much for so long, I got used to the dysfunction and considered it normal. 

No remorse when I caught her cheating, stole the entire tax return one year, or cleaned out the savings account that had the wedding gifts. I feel like a ****. I take all this crap and I'm supposed to say thank you, please do more. I lived in la la land b.s.ing myself that this is normal.

I feel like such an idiot.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

well, at least you have woken up and will stand up for yourself now. Her cheating and stealing shows such obvious disrespect. Glad to hear you are getting your self-respect back and ceasing to put up with this.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Snow Fighter said:


> Yes my plow truck is off limits lol.
> 
> It's got enough things that need to be fixed from the snows the past few weeks.
> 
> ...


I dunno do you really feel like an idiot? Give it ten years and see how you feel when she's teaching your daughter to treat men the way she treats you


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