# Polygamy?



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Not sure if this has ever been brought up here. I am not talking threesomes (that has been brought up, ad numerum, ad nauseum lol) but actually a polygamous marriage.

My best friend is well. . .let's say colorful. Kinda like a 60's hippy living in 2010.

Today, he was talking to me and suggested (and I am laughing as I write this). . .we get a big house and have a bunch of women in there and it would be like 2 roosters living in a henhouse (LOL).

He actually wants a polygamous marriage though (vs. a group marriage) and is semi-serious and has a girlfriend with sisters and they actually want to all live in the same house someday.

Interestingly enough, I remember watching an Oprah show years ago where she interviewed a man with 3 wives, who were all sisters and the women were happy to all have their sisters nearby and the shared childcare (and sex).

Now. . .I told him I couldn't handle 1 wife, what makes you think I could handle more than 1, lol?

But is there something inherently attractive in there for women, like having your sisters (or girlfriends) around all the time? I can't beleive his young girlfirend of 26 years old (and very attractive - cute ballet dancer) would be considering it. My ex-wife years ago suggested it actually and I was a bit taken back.

I get the idea of liking a big family but aren't you supposed to just give your body to one person?

Why do more women seem to want this more than men? (you can see what men get out of it - multiple pieces of tail)

Is it the sense of the loss of being cared for that came with feminism and Equal rights?

Is this like what a commune is?

Totally confused at you hip, swinging people so I thought I would post this in the Sex Forum, where everyone here is hip and swinging.


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## Mal74 (Dec 24, 2009)

It wouldn't interest me. I'm not that great at sharing. I guess if you looked at it from the whole "it takes a village" standpoint it could make some sense to have a group sharing responsibility for child rearing and the like. It makes more sense to me for folks living in remote areas for some reason. Don't ask me to explain, I'm too tired.


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

Have you been watching Sister Wives on TLC?

For me no way. No appeal in sharing a man.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

LOL. . .no I don't watch much TV believe it or not but when I have watched Oprah the few times I have I saw that one episode twice.

What? Is this a reality show with sisters all as wives to one man?

Well, what do they say? 

A man's definition of heaven is where you have all the women you have ever loved, tending to you, to your every need but not one bit jealous of each other.

I can't blame him for trying.

Sounds like a nightmare to me.

I think it was his way of telling me to "Dream Big" after my divorce.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Scannerguard,

It is a happy dream!

But it won't happen! 

A king in China could have as many women as he wanted, he was exhausted, his women were competing for his attention, most of them died lonely and miserably.

Few women can share! I don't think a man can share either. 

How many people can really share? How many percent of them?
And it needs a lot of regulation so the women don't get jealous of each other.

I believe in one man and one woman. 

A lot of couples become bored together after a few years, and then they start to seek fun in different ways, what is the outcome? I think most of them end in disasters.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I have no idea why this would be something a man would want, let alone a woman. I have never watched that show on TLC but have heard about him. He is just a jerk that seems to like seeing his wives get jealous of his attention to the other all under the guise of "religion"....basically his religion, where he is the Messiah. Apparently this guy is about as attractive as road kill and has the personality as well.
Now, if it were Johnny Depp, well that's a different story. Sloppy seconds be damned, it's Johnny Depp!!!!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I think that the highly sophisticated development of poisons is a result of polygamy.

Concubines and lower-level wives jockeying for status killing off their rivals.

Then some of them figuring out that knocking off the guy would ensure their progeny's future.

Maybe that's not Utah fringe Mormon-style polygamy, but definitely the sultanates and Chinese emperors.

As a side note, it is my understanding that women that live in close quarters start to have their cycles in sync.

What guy wants to deal with that much PMS!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Scanner,
Sorry, just saw the line I missed: Did you REALLY just bring up equal rights and feminism (and our "loss") in a post about your non-committal friend who wants to, in essence, nail anything in the hen house? Gawd. Where's my spatula?!


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Brennan,

LOL. . .well, I think you could relate, we all have friends like this.

I have one friend - sensible, teh best marriage (monogamous!) I have ever seen, no drama, a steady rock of a friend (best man in my wedding).

Then there's the friend who I went to high school with and somehow I ended up in trouble with him all the time. I would end up being called to the prinicipal's office with him. This is the guy who thinks polygamy is a great idea.

I value both friendship and they complement each other. In fact, he's kinda taught me how to be a bachelor again post-marriage.

Anyway, um. . .well, he's colorful but believe it or not, even with him, he honestly thinks it's a good idea beyond the sex. . .a big giant house of women and kids running around in one big Hippy Commune, LOL.

Yeah, he even joked we could name it a religion and live tax-free, LOL.

But yes, I did bring it up because there are women (and probably silent on this thread for fear of the feminists swooping in!) out there who actually would be open to this.

In fact, I am not surprised that a 26 year old woman would be interested since they would be "post-feminism" where as Generation X is Peak Feminism in values.

The "loss" I speak of is now. . .women have experienced the "responsiblity" that goes with freedom. You have been "emancipated" from the lifestyle of a wife/mother/childbearer. But with that came responsibility. I would imagine a woman (women) may long for the idea of a family unit and sharing the responsibility of a husband and feel cared for, rather than being so "independent."

If the guy leaves. . .they still have each other, you know? This is a generation who has seen A LOT of divorce.

HEy, I'll admit it - I am not all THAT independent.

In fact, I tend to be interdependent.

And it's a rolling pin, not a spatula 

Yeah, a perfect storm of PMS - polygamy. LOL.

Or triple the rejection of sex, triple the headaches. LOL.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I'm not sure why a woman would find a polygamous marriage appealing. As you mentioned, it's easy to see the appeal for (some) men. 

Personally, I could not share him with other women. Sexually or romantically. To me, when it comes to a romantic relationship, it's two people. Period. Relationships require dedication, work, feelings. To try to divide that between more than one other person, you're giving each of them less than your best, which means that really, no one has a full relationship. Why would I want only half a relationship? 

I can understand the shared childrearing, and the companionship that they might get from the other wives, but I think that can be gained just as effectively by having a close circle of good female friends with whom you can discuss anything and that you can count on to help you when you need it. I don't feel I need to share my man with those friends in order to get those benefits. Truthfully, I feel the friendships would be stronger in not sharing a man, as it eliminates the jealousy, the feelings of rejection, or the limited ability to get away from each other that would come from having to share my man, my kids, and possibly my home with these other women. 

But then again, I've never been one to share when it comes to men. I'm pretty selfish in that regard.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sounds like this fantasy is going to remain a fantasy! lol

I think this only works in some cultures were the young girls are born into it. It is simply a way of life. They view polygamy as many of us view monogamy as being the norm. Therefore, you won't find many women in our western culture who will go along with this. Thankful! lol


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

3x gifts... 3x giving attention... 3x nagging and complaining... 3x shopping expense 3x moodiness 3x not tonight 3x divisional asset splits... hmmm... Sounds like fun.. But NO THANK-YOU.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

j. depp now i want in lol i do watch sister wives i dont care how you get down but watching the show i dont know how they cope i am extremly competive by nature and always have to win to me i think everyone walks on eggshells around each other i like most women have an unattractive side but in that household you couldnt be free to be your self i would have a bedroom that is every mans desire i would do every thing you wanted and more cuz i have to win i have my b...h days i have weakness for the highest f... me shoes i want all the attention till i dont want it anymore i cuss more than a sailor i am addictaed to starbucks and i dont like to be touched i am silly at the worst times and am a little gross my h would say a lot ha ha these women look tired how could there be passion no alone time theres always somebody wating in the wings you would be scared to arguee or debate or just be plain old weird and yes i back talk like crazy we have fire and heat and passion and i make him work for just a little
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Scanner,
I respectfully disagree. I haven't been "emancipated" from anything. Women throughout time have had children and they don't expect kuddos for doing so. I am Gen-X and I pride myself on family first. The only difference now is that I am supposed to contribute to the bottom line and also be the mother they need. How did my situation start? His grad school student loans. $120,000. I won't bore you with details but I had to go to work (as he already did) to pay it off. Yes, this uneducated "bimbo".


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

I think it is very much a cultural expectation issue. If it's the norm in teh society you were raised in (and it is in many societies, and has been for thousands of years) it works, at least as well as monogamy does.

Having been brought up in a society that expects (or at least tries to convince itself) that monogamy is usual, I suspect I would struggle to do anything else, even if my wife could cope (and she probably couldn't.)

(Unless the second, third, nth wife was a good cleaner ...)


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