# i am starting to hate my husband....



## Coco

I am really starting to hate my husband and was so happy to find this forum and hopefully bring some sanity back into my head. He is not an awful person or abusive but he is loud and aggressive when he wants his way and won't ever listen to my side of things, just says to stop talking and snaps. As quickly as he blows up, he will calm down and be nice and then can't understand why i am mad at him! Since being married to him, we have gone into major debt, I have gained weight (i take responsibility for this too) but all in all, i dont see that my life has gotten any better by being with him. We have travelled loads and done some really fun things however, he can't handle money or responsbility and nitpicks me all the time lately - if i buy shoes, they aren't heels, if i buy sunglasses, what was the point, i wont wear them, why don't I suntan, why don't i want to do this, or that, etc. It's like he is not happy with how I look and would like to model me into his dream girl. He never take accountability and whines and blames everyone for all his problems and this is all going to get worse as his awful mother is coming to visit us soon. can it get any worse? i am starting to hate his guts. on the flip side, he is caring and compassionate and very loving and I am sure job and financial pressure are making this situation worse. sorry for such a long message and thanks for reading


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## dcrim

Do the two of you get enough alone time? Both together and separately? 

Can his mother stay at a motel?  

I used to work with a guy like that. He thought saying it louder would make it true or more understandable. Most of us learned to ignore him where possible.


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## Coco

we do get loads of time together as we don't have kids. he is esp busy with his hobbies and work, and tends to think his plans are more important than anything else and also complains we are not social enough, etc. you can just never make him completely happy, i honestly think if his life was perfect, he would be miserable because then he would have nothing to complain about, lol!

as for his mother staying in a motel, he freaked at the mere suggestion, its very important for her to stay with us although we don't have a spare room or proper place for her to sleep. she is very critical and argumentative and it will be a difficult month!


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## dcrim

Yeah, I understand that. 

I actually yelled at my MIL for critisizing my daughter's use of makeup. She (daughter) was a dancer and model at the time (just before starting HS). MIL left and never came back. Didn't miss her.


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## Coco

what an awful MIL! your daughter must have loved you even more for standing up for her like that


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## Coco

i have not become enormous and he thought i was too skinny before, i think the weight issue is more in my head than his but i could be wrong - 20 lbs maybe?


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## dcrim

Well, yes. 

After my wife & I separated, she accidently burned down the house. She moved back with her mom (in OH) and our daughter. 

The MIL was going to a company picnic and told my daughter to clean off the makeup or she was staying home (wife was working). Daughter didn't, MIL went without her. 

My daughter was around HS age. I was so POd at MIL. 

My son & wife went to visit their mom and were to bring daughter back to me (in MD). After a nearly 4 hour phone call with DIL (MIL listening on other phone), they all finally left (MIL said as they were leaving: if you leave, don't come back! They never did). I happened to be at the funeral of a (not real close) friend at this time. MIL was trying to get DIL to get me to say something that would justify daughter staying. 

My daughter refers to her as the ex-gramma.  BTW, wife died last January. Collapsed while doing dishes at home. Instant death. Still don't know the whole story. 

I got a 2BR apartment and daughter stayed with me through HS. She lives in TX now, I'm in MO, oldest son family in MD, youngest son family in MO with me (in their own place). 

So my daughter and I are very close. Talk daily, text frequently. She was the one I called when I found out about my xgf getting married behind my back. She said I talked funny for a couple of days (drunker than a skunk!).  That story is in this section if you want to read it.


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## Coco

what an incredible story! its great to hear that you and your daughter sound so close. my mil almost burned her house down, but that is just because she is clumbsy and a bit stupid! lol!


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## dcrim

Yeah. I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I just wanted to share a couple of horor stories.  MILs can be good or bad. 

and now...back to your regularly scheduled show..."hate my husband"


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## Coco

ok - the plot has def thickened now - my ******* of a husband created an adult friend finder profile, stating that he was attached and looking for a person in a similar situation for and excitement. I found it on the pc this morning - idiot went to he bathroom and I woke up earlier than usual and found it! he of course denies everything and says he was simply looking at nudie shots and was curious. what a mess!! hate him now full on!


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## Rhea

Sheesh what is it w/this adult friend finder site? It amazes me at the sheer number of f*ck stains in this world! Especially when they're ballsy enough to do it to start with then deny it like "Shame on you I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that!" Like you need to go shower the filth off of yourself for even daring to think they'd go to that site let alone sign up and make a profile.

Blasphemy I swear and I thought my situation was haneous.


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## SFladybug

Sorry to hear about your plight. Mine is sort of but not exactly similar. Do you have other ways (friends, hobbies, work, etc.) to see the positive side of yourself? Sometimes, I think I hate my husband the most when I don't respect myself. If you found that he actually set up a profile to look for someone else, I would go ahead and confront him on it. It is one thing to look (although that bothers me a lot) it is another to "hook-up". You haven't seen real hate until you've been involved in or he has been involved in an affair. Nip it in the bud or do as someone suggested to me and post on for yourself to see if you can "catch" him...I guess then it would be a shared fling?


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## Coco

thank you for the replies - i think i am going insane! I was lucky enough to chat to an old friend today who also went through the same thing - with - you guessed - that effin adutl friend finder!! 

So I did confront him, i wish I had been able to control my temper and try to set him up instead but I lost it - he claims he only signed up to look at photos of naked women. idiot and a liar! I asked him why on earth he happened to just write such a legit profile, complete with birthdate and hobbies, AND post pics of himself. He is now trying tomake me feel like I am the crazy one.

This is good in a sense because I have given up absolutely everything for him and made my life revolve around his and now he will see how good he had it for so long and how its all gonna end. I lack the self esteem and confidence at this point to leave him and have to get to that point on my own, but for the time being, I am going to get my life back - take up some hobbies and go out with my old girlfriends. 

How are you handling your sit?


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## Coco

lmao off at F* stains!! :lol: I have talked to THREE people today who have found out their husbands were engaging in affairs or posting on this dirt bag website. wtf?!




Rhea said:


> Sheesh what is it w/this adult friend finder site? It amazes me at the sheer number of f*ck stains in this world! Especially when they're ballsy enough to do it to start with then deny it like "Shame on you I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that!" Like you need to go shower the filth off of yourself for even daring to think they'd go to that site let alone sign up and make a profile.
> 
> Blasphemy I swear and I thought my situation was haneous.


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## Coco

oh yah, so idiot, can i just refer to him as that? its stress relieving! just came and apologized with clasped hands and said he would never cheat on me (of course not mr adult friend finder) and that was just for looking at pics. I want to dip his toothbrush in the toilet!!


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## amberlynn

my husband does that sometimes... be good as gold, then blow up at the smallest things.. then hes back to his normal self..happy go lucky.. his mom is bipolor and i sometimes wonder if he is too.. maybe your husband is bipolor? Its immature for him to nit-pick at you, he married you the way you are, why change you now?

dont dip it in the toilet... go find a dog and brush its teeth with his tooth brush...much better then a toilet seein how they lick themselves in nasty places!


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## Rhea

ohhhhh dooooo it  I'm a vedictive little B*tch tonite please accept my sincerest apologies (not really) LOL!


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## SFladybug

You aren't crazy. He is in denial. You didn't really need to set him up, your reaction was born out of hurt and it is just as well that you confronted. If he cares for you, he will delete the profile and realize that his method of 'stress relief" may be more stressful in the long run. It is funny how we can all find rationalizations for doing what we know is not right, but still want to do. I really hate it when mine says he is doing it to relieve stress (along with a number of other self-destructive habits) because I know he is not being completely honest. On the other hand, maybe you can use this to ask him what is giving him stress. Maybe talking about it with you would help???? Or maybe he is just a sleezebag.  Trusting someone with your heart is tricky stuff.


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## marriagehelp12

pee on it first.....


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## preso

Just don't let him start giving you broken hamburgers off the grill....


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## dcrim

LOL!! Use it to wipe your a$$ first.


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## voivod

hey wait a second...plenty of instances when a woman is found out prowling on the web or fliting at work or whatever...we say "well, she wasn't getting fulfillment at home. try to become the man she is seeking out and your problems are solved." 

then a dude "prowls" or "seeks" and we want to dip his toothbrush in toilet water or a nasty dog's mouth???

come on. give consistent advice. help this woman, don't just prop her ego up so she'll do something to destroy whatever threads of a chance at a good life with her man as she can.

sorry, i sense hypocrisy.


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## dcrim

It was all supposed to be a joke....things we'd all like to do...but would never.


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## voivod

dcrim said:


> It was all supposed to be a joke....things we'd all like to do...but would never.


oh man. i don't think the original poster was joking. but i'm wrong every day. if that's the case, i'm sorry


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## dcrim

I know the OP wanted help. We're here for that. But sometimes the thread gets going...We all know the pain, we've been there. Sometimes it helps to divert our attention a little bit. That's all I saw this going. I apologize to everyone if I seemed cavalier. I certainly wasn't doing/being so.


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## Veronica Jackson

I'm starting to hate my husband too! yay!


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