# Is hoarding grounds for divorce?



## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

Your thoughts


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

jlcrome said:


> Your thoughts


Yes.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Yes, but only if the person refuses to get help to overcome the problem, or has tried and failed.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I might be for me depending on how bad it is.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Anything is grounds for divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Depending on the extent of hording, it can be a valid reason for divorce. 

Why do you ask?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

In many states, it would fall under 'irreconcilable differences'. 

I think you're looking for a reason you can live with. That's on you and no one can give you justification.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

H's hoarding habits have greatly contributed to the demise of our marriage. His go-to for years was, "you knew I was like this when you married me." Well, I didn't know how bad it would get and that once we had children he would make it so difficult for me to even get rid of their stuff! It's both a learned behavior (his mother was the same way) and a symptom of OCD. Hoarders hang onto things because to let go of anything causes them great anxiety. I understand why he is the way he is, but the deal-breaker for me is that he knows how much it bothers me and increases my own anxiety and that it's also terrible for my dust and mold allergies, literally makes me sick. But he doesn't care enough about the effect on me to do anything about it. So, in answer to your question, if your spouse isn't making an effort to do something about the hoarding it shows that they do not care enough about you to at least meet you halfway on an issue you find intolerable. That shows a lack of love and support and is grounds for divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

blahfridge said:


> H's hoarding habits have greatly contributed to the demise of our marriage. His go-to for years was, "you knew I was like this when you married me." Well, I didn't know how bad it would get and that once we had children he would make it so difficult for me to even get rid of their stuff! It's both a learned behavior (his mother was the same way) and a symptom of OCD. Hoarders hang onto things because to let go of anything causes them great anxiety. I understand why he is the way he is, but the deal-breaker for me is that he knows how much it bothers me and increases my own anxiety and that it's also terrible for my dust and mold allergies, literally makes me sick. But he doesn't care enough about the effect on me to do anything about it. So, in answer to your question, if your spouse isn't making an effort to do something about the hoarding it shows that they do not care enough about you to at least meet you halfway on an issue you find intolerable. That shows a lack of love and support and is grounds for divorce.


Hording can lead to a lot of problems. My mother became a hoarder late in her life. It was terrible as it would get to the point that it the rooms filled with junk were no longer all that safe to walk through. It also led to some issues with not being able to keep things clean. My siblings and I got to the point that once a year we'd all go to her house and get rid of the things she was hording. She had a very hard time dealing with what we were doing, but would get over it in a few days.

There is no way that I could live with someone who hoarded like that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@jlcrome

How bad is the hording?

If it's bad, could you share some photos so that we can see what you are dealing with?


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

Since it will cause a rift in the marriage, yes. But I second that almost anything will pass as grounds for divorce these days.


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## perelectrical (Dec 24, 2019)

Anything around here is divorce but not every problem has to end in divorce. It’s difficult for me to get rid of things, my wife is more on the lazy side than a hoarder so I make it an event where I go through stuff with whoever it belongs to, In my case it’s the kids and I ask them what they don’t want and throw it out or donate it. Donation really works well because it’s helping the needy. Try that.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Absolutely. IMO, necessary if there are kids.


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

Yes. Its their issue to face, and a difficult one at that. Years of therapy

Children should NOT have to live in that situation.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

My ex-wife was a hoarder. That wasn't the main reason for our divorce, but it definitely added to the problems. I would do my best to purge the things I thought was trash. I'd put all the "trash" in a large Rubbermaid storage container and tell her the things I was going to toss and to take a look at it before I threw it out. I'd do the same with our daughters clothes she either out grew or didn't wear. 

I am somewhat of a minimalist a d during the divorce, I was happy to let her keep everything, which she did...

Personally, I think she was just too lazy to purge the junk. I see her place now and I am happy that I don't have to be part of that.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Yep.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Yes...

Question I know a guy who is married to a hoarding lady.

I've also seen that this lady "hoards" old boyfiends, keeps in touch on facebook, IRL etc.

Do you think the inability to let go extends to ex'es?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Hoarding and promiscuity are usually synonymous. 
So yes....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

StillSearching said:


> Hoarding and promiscuity are usually synonymous.
> So yes....


????? I don't think so.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> ????? I don't think so.


Here's a article on it.
https://www.returnofkings.com/55097/if-theres-a-mess-on-her-floor-then-shes

It's from my life experience as well.
That's if you don't get banned for citing other people's articles.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

StillSearching said:


> Here's a article on it.
> https://www.returnofkings.com/55097/if-theres-a-mess-on-her-floor-then-shes
> 
> It's from my life experience as well.
> That's if you don't get banned for citing other people's articles.


No, you cannot be banned for citing articles written by other people as long as you give them the credit.

That article is not about hoarders, it's about women who are slobs. There is a difference. 

Further, I would hardly call that site a valid source of information on human behavior.

The guy who wrote the article sound like a promiscuous prick. Yea, the women he picks might be messy and have low self esteem, but hey, he's the one picking them. Here's one of the gems in that article:


"A quick side note: I absolutely hate it when ****s accuse me of just wanting them for sex. I find it quite insulting and offensive because they always seem to overlook the fact that I thoroughly enjoy getting my **** sucked too. It bothers me when I see ****s forget crucial details; not to mention, selling themselves short and underestimating their value in such a way. They should have more confidence in themselves. Anyway, back to the story…"​
He's not exactly any better than the women he seems to have distain for.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I think that married couples have always fought and disagreed with what is consider clean and organized and acceptable living standards. My dad would be a hoarder if he wasn’t married to my mom. My mom always throws his stuff away. It use to be a constant fight with them then my dad just accepted it. But my mom would have so much anxiety over all the junk he was accumulating, and it wasn’t like he was the one always cleaning to make sure it was dust free. 

You can divorce him, or you can talk to him seriously and tell him that you will leave if he doesn’t change.


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