# Should I go to Philippines or stick it out at home?



## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

I'm 32 and I've only had 2 girlfriends. I don't lack confidence although I'm not the most outgoing guy. I'm good looking, intelligent, interesting, and I believe I have a lot to offer. It baffles me how someone like me finds it so difficult to maintain the interest of women. They treat me like I'm some kind of loser, but I don't feel like a loser at all. Either that, or they put me in the dreaded friendzone, which of course is not about being friends. My friends all think i'm cool, and I feel like a confident guy. 

I'm fed up that so many women I've met have shown more interest towards thugs with tattoos and other idiots, rather than a normal guy like me. I've tried to figure out why this is, and the only logical conclusion is that they're masochists. Many of them are ridiculously picky and cynical. 

A year ago I stumbled across a forum where they talk about women from various parts of the world. I thought it was a travel site at first, and so when I saw what it was about I ignored it. But then one day out of curiosity I checked it out, and I became intrigued. They were talking about the qualities that they believe foreign women have, and how happy a lot of men are when they travel abroad to meet them. 

At the time I had little experience or opinions about that, but what I did know is that different cultures give rise to different outlooks, and that the women that I tend to meet are incompatible with me, and they lack the qualities that I'm looking for. 

So, a few months ago I went to the Philippines. If I was to write about what that was like it would take pages and pages, but let's just say that it was amazing. Maybe it was the excitement of being in a different environment. I don't know. But I had a great experience, totally different from back home. It was very easy to meet women and they were very interested in me, and they appreciated me. I met a few girls that I would gladly see again. 

My philosophy is as follows. If you're not happy in your situation, take responsibility and change it. Let others do whatever they feel is right for them, and focus on doing what you think is right for you. Everyone has their own criteria for what they're looking for. It would make no sense to stay in a place where I don't feel fulfilled. 

I really want to go back there permanently. I realize that it's not a good idea to go and live there just to find women. I know that. That's why I've taken that into consideration. I don't have any commitments or responsibilities at home, and I don't feel like there's anything keeping me here. I've looked into the culture of the Philippines and it does seem like a place that I could get used to. There are other things about the country which I like and I'm willing to go down there a few times and see what's what. I am also willing to learn the language. I work from home, so I also have flexibility. What I'm saying is that if I go to live there, it will be a decision based on much consideration. 

Nevertheless, I'm not 100% sure. I always like to think long and hard before making decisions. So I'm here to ask for advice so that I can take it into consideration, and hopefully make a decision that is right for me.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Since you have no ties, I think it's much smarter for you to go live there instead of bringing a woman home with you. What do you have to lose?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

SydJones said:


> I'm 32 and I've only had 2 girlfriends. I don't lack confidence although I'm not the most outgoing guy. I'm good looking, intelligent, interesting, and I believe I have a lot to offer. It baffles me how someone like me finds it so difficult to maintain the interest of women. *They treat me like I'm some kind of loser,* but I don't feel like a loser at all. *Either that, or they put me in the dreaded friendzone,* which of course is not about being friends. My friends all think i'm cool, and I feel like a confident guy.


If you want to LIVE in the Phillippines, then you should live in the Phillippines.

But most likely, the women there were friendly and interested because you are an American. With a good career.

Figure out why women treat you like a loser. And why they all friend-zone you. That is the crux of your issue. Moving halfway across the world isn't going to fix that issue. If you don't figure this out, you'll just end up with Filipino women who friend-zone you and treat you like a loser.

I suggest visiting a qualified counselor. Get to the bottom of why women treat you this way. Or why you _perceive_ women treat you this way. THEN make a decision about moving to the Phillippines (or anywhere else, for that matter).


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You would probably have the same luck in Ukraine. The women obviously are trying to better their lives and marriage to an American is a prime way to do that. Some of those marriages succeed but many don't. So, yes, you can move to the Phillipines but be aware there will be many women who are likely to see you just as an ATM. Be very careful.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

My own experience of the Philippines (and I have relatives who have married Philippino women) is that it maybe nice to visit, but if you marry and live there, your life will become a living hell! Make sure you go there with no money to start with - try and get a job and see what happens. Else your money will be put towards supporting her family as will all your assets.

I agree with the comment that you would be better served by finding out why you are considered a loser at home. Work on that rather than going to the Philippines.


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> If you want to LIVE in the Phillippines, then you should live in the Phillippines.
> 
> But most likely, the women there were friendly and interested because you are an American. With a good career.
> 
> ...


No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy. 

The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them, and they prefer being with real losers instead of normal guys like me. That's why they consider normal guys to be losers. I know there's nothing wrong with me, the problem is them. 

Moving to a country like the Philippines will solve the problem because I will be around women who know how to spot and appreciate a good, normal guy.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SydJones said:


> No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy.
> 
> The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them, and they prefer being with real losers instead of normal guys like me. That's why they consider normal guys to be losers. I know there's nothing wrong with me, the problem is them.
> 
> Moving to a country like the Philippines will solve the problem because I will be around women who know how to spot and appreciate a good, normal guy.


LOL. Suuuuure.

Tell you what... you should go. Just go.

PLEASE go.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SydJones said:


> No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy.
> 
> The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them, and they prefer being with real losers instead of normal guys like me. That's why they consider normal guys to be losers. I know there's nothing wrong with me, the problem is them.
> 
> Moving to a country like the Philippines will solve the problem because I will be around women who know how to spot and appreciate a good, normal guy.



Hmm. Before you go, watch this: Love Me (2014) - IMDb

It's on Netflix.


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> LOL. Suuuuure.
> 
> Tell you what... you should go. Just go.
> 
> PLEASE go.


Thanks, I will.


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Hmm. Before you go, watch this: Love Me (2014) - IMDb
> 
> It's on Netflix.


Looks like a great film, thanks!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I am beginning to wonder if you too are another one of these "wind-up" artists who tries to push peoples buttons deliberately (we seem to be awash with them recently here on TAM).

They like you for your personality indeed. In that case try the local "massage parlours" - they will appreciate you even more for your "personality".


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

manfromlamancha said:


> I am beginning to wonder if you too are another one of these "wind-up" artists who tries to push peoples buttons deliberately (we seem to be awash with them recently here on TAM).
> 
> They like you for your personality indeed. In that case try the local "massage parlours" - they will appreciate you even more for your "personality".


They do. What makes you think they don't? Comparing the women from an entire country with prostitutes is pretty low.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

What makes YOU think they do?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

There is something wrong with American women, and women from another country are great. 

That's called black/white thinking. It is not reality.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

zillard said:


> What makes YOU think they do?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What makes you assume they don't?


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

zillard said:


> There is something wrong with American women, and women from another country are great.
> 
> That's called black/white thinking. It is not reality.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not saying that american women are inferior. I'm not like the growing many who think that.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

SydJones said:


> No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy.


Sure they were.

Uh huh.



SydJones said:


> The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them


:rofl:

And you wonder why women are passing on you.



SydJones said:


> Moving to a country like the Philippines will solve the problem because I will be around women who know how to spot and appreciate a good, normal guy.


As someone who knows a man who lives in Thailand just SO he can pick up as many 12 year olds as he wants and have them live with him and then kick them out when she hits 18 so he can go get another young'n, this whole topic just makes my skin crawl.

When my H goes there, women come up to him everywhere he goes and offer their daughters to him - because they KNOW he's an American, thus he's a billionaire compared to how THEY live, AND there's always a chance he might bring their daughter back to America, the Promised Land.

You're kidding yourself.

How about, instead, you look at yourself and YOUR problems and fix THOSE, so you can become more attractive to the women around you?

For starters, read No More Mr Nice Guy.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

SydJones said:


> I'm not saying that american women are inferior. I'm not like the growing many who think that.


... just the American women that aren't into you? Ahh. Makes total sense.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

SydJones said:


> What makes you assume they don't?


Did I? 

I'm questioning YOUR assumption. Tell us more. How did they behave differently from women here in order for you to believe they were interested in your personality? What was different from your experiences here?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SydJones said:


> I've tried to figure out why this is, and the only logical conclusion is that they're masochists. Many of them are ridiculously picky and cynical.





SydJones said:


> I'm fed up that so many women I've met have shown more interest towards thugs with tattoos and other idiots, rather than a normal guy like me.





SydJones said:


> At the time I had little experience or opinions about that, but what I did know is that different cultures give rise to different outlooks, and that the women that I tend to meet are incompatible with me, and they lack the qualities that I'm looking for.





SydJones said:


> No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy.
> 
> The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them, and they prefer being with real losers instead of normal guys like me. That's why they consider normal guys to be losers. I know there's nothing wrong with me, the problem is them.


In the first quote above, you say that American women are “ridiculously picky and cynical.”

In the second quote above, you show that you are cynical.

In the 2nd, 3rd and 4th quotes who show that you are “ridiculously picky and cynical.”

The fact is that the vast majority of women do not go for thugs. Are you looking for a lot of women to just have sex with? Or are you looking for a long term relationship and perhaps marriage?

You do not need all women, or a lot of women. What you need is one good woman. There are millions of very good women in the USA. But you stereo type all women to fit your jaded view.

How do you go about meeting women here in the USA? Could you share that with us?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Just keep in mind that it's the only country where divorce is illegal, and to get an annulment requires a lot of time, money, and bribes. So be careful if you get married there and live there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SydJones said:


> What makes you assume they don't?


Did you go to the Philippines by yourself or on a tour that introduces men to women?

What was the environment in which you met these women? Was it in parties put together by an organization that hooks men up with women? Was did you just bar hop? Can you tell us about that?


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

If you move to the Philippines, to find women you will likely become less interesting to them. If you go there with the intentions of bringing one of them back here with her entire family, you will be a rockstar. Do you get my drift? I'm not saying that is all the women there, just the ones you are meeting when you go there.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

IME, a nice, "normal" guy isn't going to have much luck, and will be blown off and treated like a loser... in clubs and bars. 

Because women there generally aren't looking for a personality to take home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> In the first quote above, you say that American women are “ridiculously picky and cynical.”
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The real great women are picky for the right reasons, not the scum surfer types. Girls like those guys, not women.


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

Oh dear. Seems like I've hit a raw nerve about american females. Do carry on, I'm enjoying this.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Obviously a dead end. Troll.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I've spent some considerable time in the Philippines for one of the companies I worked with...mostly in Manila and Cebu.

I also know a lot of men that worked for that company that met and married Philippino women and let me explain a few things to you.

One, these women often live somewhat sheltered lives. They don't have the same social maturity level of American women. And that's fine, you just need to be aware of it. They're often very needy...like children...and expect to be taken care of in every way, including financially.

Two, these women KNOW American divorce laws very, very well. They know that once they marry you, they're eligible for half of equity increases and half the marital property. I know of at least a dozen guys who married sweet, childlike Philippino brides who turned around in less than 3 years (once they got their citizenship) and screwed them out of half of everything they earned and alimony. A lot of them are trying to not only emigrate but they want to emigrate their whole family. 

I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with dating/marrying a woman from any culture, its your choice. But when you start making blanket statements about American women...I think you need to examine yourself...not the women. There are lovely, sweet American women aplenty to meet and marry that won't be after you for money and a green card.


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## SydJones (Jul 13, 2015)

EnigmaGirl said:


> I've spent some considerable time in the Philippines for one of the companies I worked with...mostly in Manila and Cebu.
> 
> I also know a lot of men that worked for that company that met and married Philippino women and let me explain a few things to you.
> 
> ...


You say that filipinas live socially sheltered lives. I say that american women are arrogant, stuck up, spoiled, materialistic and obnoxious. If you can generalize so can I. By the way, by talking about US divorce laws, you're making an excellent case for any man to go to the Philippines.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

SydJones said:


> You say that filipinas live socially sheltered lives. *I say that american women are arrogant, stuck up, spoiled, materialistic and obnoxious*. If you can generalize so can I. By the way, by talking about US divorce laws, you're making an excellent case for any man to go to the Philippines.



I disagree. There are plenty of lovely women here and in any country you go. Your same assumption applies here and in every other country you travel to in which to seek out your happiness. 

But is that your goal in this thread?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And, of course, as usual with Nice Guys who can't get a date, you ignore ALL the conversation about YOU changing and growing and learning and improving. Because it's always all those women's fault, right? Even though YOU are the common denominator. Think about it.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

SydJones said:


> No they were interested in me for my personality, not because I'm a foreigner or because they might have assumed I was wealthy.
> 
> The reason why so many women treat me like a loser here is because there's something wrong with them, and they prefer being with real losers instead of normal guys like me. That's why they consider normal guys to be losers. I know there's nothing wrong with me, the problem is them.
> 
> Moving to a country like the Philippines will solve the problem because I will be around women who know how to spot and appreciate a good, normal guy.


You should do more research. I know the Philippines and have had them work for me as employees. Let me tell you that many men like you rue the day they ever married a Filipino, because they are all nice, giving, gentle, ladylike, into their man, etc until they have the ring on and then you will be supporting not only her but her parents, her cousins, the kids she never told you about. 
I know I am generalizing but I have heard and witnessed too many cases for this to be a coincidence. The people there are dirt poor and girls are often brought up with the sole intention of hooking a rich 'kano" (they think all white people are rich) who will be forced to support all and sundry. heck my sis in law is Filipino but born in the UK and she says her relatives from the Philippines do the same thing to her as they think she has money. Her parents bought a house there and suddenly the relatives are demanding to live in it as they live elsewhere. 

So I would suggest you tread very carefully indeed. Incidentally the women aren't gullible either, so if you have issues having a relationship with a woman they will eventually chew you up and spit you out. Deal with your social skills first.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

zillard said:


> Obviously a dead end. Troll.


There is a troll who comes here every so often with this same theme. The goal is of course to get women to respond and then to insult them.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> You say that filipinas live socially sheltered lives.


Actually the dynamics are very different. The Philippines is heavily catholic and part of the religious requirement is for girls to stay virgins until marriage. 

Religious preferences in the US are far more diverse and this condition is less predominant.



> I say that american women are arrogant, stuck up, spoiled, materialistic and obnoxious. If you can generalize so can I.


I have no doubt that that may be true of the women you're attracting and dating. The question is why are you attracting those types of women. 

You attract what you put out. And by the way, if you think women from the Philippines are less materialistic...lol, that's pretty amusing. You're setting yourself for the perfect bait and switch.

The Philippines have a lot of U.S. marriage companies that are designed to link up American men (green cards & money) with women. These women are taught to appear sweet and submissive....its not necessarily reality.

That being said, I'm sure there are a lot of great Philippino women...just like there's a lot of great American women. The question is why do you need to travel half a planet away to attract a woman...if I were you, I'd be worried about the answer to that.



> By the way, by talking about US divorce laws, you're making an excellent case for any man to go to the Philippines


Sure and you can try to live in the Philippines but get prepared for an extreme amount of pressure from your new wife to want to move back to the U.S.

Frankly, if it wasn't for the kidnapping rates in the Philippines, its a lovely, beautiful place to live. I've travelled all over the world and it rivals Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam as the most amazing places I've ever been. But I certainly didn't need to go there to attract a mate.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> I know I am generalizing but I have heard and witnessed too many cases for this to be a coincidence. The people there are dirt poor and girls are often brought up with the sole intention of hooking a rich 'kano" (they think all white people are rich) who will be forced to support all and sundry.


Extremely true.

Like I said, these women know US divorce laws very, very well.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EnigmaGirl said:


> Extremely true.
> 
> Like I said, these women know US divorce laws very, very well.


One of the things that they know about US divorce laws is that if a foreign spouse accuses their American spouse of abuse, and can make it stick.. the foreign spouse no longer needs to have a sponsor for their green card. They become independent agents.

There are a lot of stories out there of this happening.

Are they all false accusations? No. But I have no doubt that a good number of them are.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

SydJones said:


> You say that filipinas live socially sheltered lives. I say that american women are arrogant, stuck up, spoiled, materialistic and obnoxious. If you can generalize so can I. By the way, by talking about US divorce laws, you're making an excellent case for any man to go to the Philippines.


First of all I speak from personal experience with members of my family marrying them and then paying the price!

Secondly are you saying that you will never come back to the USA ? Even if yiu don't they have ways of getting to your assets. And if yiu do you will be hit with division of wealth, alimony, custody, child support not to mention relatives moving in with you. But in your mind that's OK since they like your personality.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

EnigmaGirl said:


> Actually the dynamics are very different. The Philippines is heavily catholic and part of the religious requirement is for girls to stay virgins until marriage.
> 
> Religious preferences in the US are far more diverse and this condition is less predominant.
> 
> ...



It is a R. Catholic country still under the grip of the church but that is changing. Nevertheless, the amount of broken marriages, children out of wedlock, affairs, etc is astounding. Don't be fooled the West does not have a monopoly on this sort of thing.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> There is a troll who comes here every so often with this same theme. The goal is of course to get women to respond and then to insult them.


But how will we ever find out whether or not he's moved to the Philippines...?!?

:lol:


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

Is it some weird coinkydink that there's an ad for women from the Philippines, idateasia.com right there on my screen? ---->


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

This is easy my man. Those pinot women see you as an escape from poverty. I work in the PI a lot. The worst part is with a pinoy women you would never really if she is in to you are looking for better life. Many guys happily married to Phillipines women, and way more men find out the hard way things are not how they seem. It appears you have not been there enough to know how it works. No money, no honey.

There's a reason why they have raids for "sexcationers" in the PI.

Straight up advice, using the PI as a way to get women with low standards is a recipe for disaster.


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

Troll at the best, or someone with mental issues at the worst.


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Sounds like a troll.

This thread caught my attention because I presently live in the Philippines. I might as well share my experience. 

There are basically two kinds of Filipina women. The first is the one that most everyone on this thread has described. She is the woman who probably lives in the province or grew up there, is in love with stupid noon time variety shows and soap operas, cannot differentiate the movie "reel" from reality, and lacks education and social skills. She also has this massive extended family.

The other is an educated woman who has gone to a good university, whose parents are fairly well-to-do, hold nice jobs or have a business, travel, and speak fluent English. They also usually take with them some good old fashioned values. 

The latter, you don't find too many. The former are everywhere.

I can see why socially inept men are attracted to the countries like the Philippines for women. You can get laid in a heartbeat in this country, it's so easy. Most of these guys mistake sex for love. You see it all the time in Manila, some goofy looking dorky white guy with a "****ty" looking Filipina. 

I have two expatriate colleagues who are compensated quite handsomely. They have both come to me to share their woes when their Filipina wives start giving them problems. One is being forced to purchase a larger house so his sister-in-law can move in. The other hates the idea that a transvestite relative of his wife lives with them. He also hates the idea of having to educate her first son. 

I have no empathy for them.


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