# Cheating husband



## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

2 mo. Ago I caught my husband with a stripper @ the Knights Inn .. after that it was like they were coming out of the woodwork .... I was in complete shock!!
My question is: the most recent girl (His Thursday girl) I was able to talk to & it really bothered me that not only was he paying her a lot of money but that she knew sooo much about me .. private things, things from long ago & he even showed her pictures of me!!! 
Why Why Why would a man do that ????


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Cheaters, men and women, come in all varieties. And yet, most of their patterns behavior are consistent. One of those patterns is saying disparaging things about their spouse to their AP; in order to internally justify their behavior.

Things are a little different though when a man pays for a hooker. I suppose it was his way of normalizing, in his own mind, what he was doing. Just as bad though.

If you'll keep posting we'll try to help you through this. Sorry you're here.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

It's normal to question why a spouse cheats, but the reality is that it shouldn't matter. Just get rid of him and the problem disappears.


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## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

badmemory said:


> Cheaters, men and women, come in all varieties. And yet, most of their patterns behavior are consistent. One of those patterns is saying disparaging things about their spouse to their AP; in order to internally justify their behavior.
> 
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> ...




Showing them pictures of me? 
He told me because he was proud of me?


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## hurtinfinity (Dec 18, 2017)

@Uhenrcx0531 your story is very similar to mine (you can read under Consider divorce and separation "Confused what to do: Husband visited Strip Clubs, Asian Massage Parlours"). I am also reading your other thread "Husband having multiple affairs w/ strippers". 

After going through this hell for more than four months, consulting IC and reading tons of material, there is only one answer I came up with for "Why would a man do that?" THEY DO NOT RESPECT WOMEN, FOR THEM WOMEN ARE FOR THEIR ENJOYMENT, FOR THEM WOMEN ARE JUST OBJECTS. In opinion of these kind of men, we wife should be grateful because they are at least coming back home after doing their dirty stuff. 

My H is very similar to yours, "just forget everything and starts new year with new beginning". 

I am moving forward in the direction of D and trying to keep myself strong. But I am really concern about my DD, she is in high school, a smart kid, just afraid this D will not affect her ambitious academic goals. Though I know I can't tolerate this for another 3-4 years. I am done with this men. 

If you like you can private message me.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> Showing them pictures of me?
> He told me because he was proud of me?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I now see you have another post. 

Look, betrayals come in all sorts of forms besides physical and emotional. That was a betrayal of your marital privacy. It comes with the territory unfortunately. Just add that to the list of things you have to get past if you want to R.

I don't want to minimize it at all, but would you have rather he said bad things about you? How about if he gave her details about your sex life? That happens routinely.


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## Uhenrcx0531 (Jan 2, 2018)

badmemory said:


> I now see you have another post.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Oh he did! 


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> Oh he did!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Then he did the same thing my WW did. I can relate.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

I think this is just one of the millions of questions you will torture you about this situation in the coming weeks. Love yourself enough to incorporate the fact that the answers do not matter into your thinking. The more you try to make sense of this and get these kinds of answers, the more you torture yourself. You have been wronged, and no answers will heal that.

Your marriage is over. There is no coming back from this type of deception - sexual, financial, personal, emotional. Your husband is not capable of being a husband. 180 him. Cut your losses. Join a support group and create a support network and get on with the healing process.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

You can’t make sense or put reason to why you WH does what he does. Women are of no consequences to him, they are objects. This will not change.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

UHen,

If a guy sees a prostitute a number of times he my have a delusional fantasy that the girl is actually interested in him as a person and not just as a wallet. 

Get your H a polygraph and don't have sex with him for 6 months to allow time for whatever virus he might have to clear and STD testing. 

Tamat


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

HPV doesn’t always clear and can lay dormant for years


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I have no idea why you and other women like you try so hard to work out why your men have acted this way. They do it because they have no moral values, integrity or decency. Because they don't love you and have no intention of being faithful. Isn't that enough o show you that they are not worth bothering about???


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## VermiciousKnid (Nov 14, 2017)

He did it because he's a man of low moral fiber. You have two choices. You can choose to live with it or you can choose to divorce him and move on with your life. I'd encourage you to do the latter.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You will never have the answers you want regardless of what he says because you can't believe him -- either way. That's just how cheaters work, unfortunately.


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## hurtinfinity (Dec 18, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I have no idea why you and other women like you try so hard to work out why your men have acted this way. They do it because they have no moral values, integrity or decency. Because they don't love you and have no intention of being faithful. Isn't that enough o show you that they are not worth bothering about???


Very True.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Uhenrcx0531 said:


> 2 mo. Ago I caught my husband with a stripper @ the Knights Inn .. after that it was like they were coming out of the woodwork .... I was in complete shock!!
> My question is: the most recent girl (His Thursday girl) I was able to talk to & it really bothered me that not only was he paying her a lot of money but that she knew sooo much about me .. private things, things from long ago & he even showed her pictures of me!!!
> Why Why Why would a man do that ????


The vast majority of the comments are for you to not waste your time trying to understand/explain his actions. Yes what he did was beyond horrible. Move forward.

In your other post, I suggested that this focus of yours on "why could he do this" is just a mental diversion on your part to avoid making hard/painful decisions on what you need to do to move forward for you and your daughters.

Focus on what will help you in the future. Focus on your plan to make yourself whole and improve the lives of your daughters. Give yourself a deadline that you will have a plan for the future, by January 18th that includes the advice of a divorce attorney and input from your daughters. Give yourself a deadline when you will tell the rest of your family (parents, siblings, etc.), your close friends, your soon to be Ex parents, and lastly your H (probably best through an attorney informing him of your plan).

Good luck.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Unfortunately men see slu...t women such as strippers, and prostitutes, as their own personal therapist. He goes to them gets his rocks off then unloads his emotional bull****. Its fuc...ked up i know but that's the realities of it.


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