# Not sure if i believe him



## feelinghurt (May 22, 2013)

I will try not to make this real long, but dont really want to leave out any details so I can hopefully get an honest opinion. Been married for 10 years. We have 4 young kids together. My husb lies alot about little things and has very little communication skills. We have spent our entire time together arguing over the fact that he doesnt include me in his life or talk to me, usually just half listens to me. Very miserable. He works alot and is in school so we have hardly seen each other for the past couple months. It was very hard on our family, but it was only going to be 9 months of the hectic schedule so I was supportive. Everything seemed great, it seemed like we were working well as a team (very hard to do when you only see each other about 6 hours a week and have 4 kids) Then one night 3 months into school, he stayed after class for an extra 3 hours that are unaccounted for. Thats when the lies began. I checked his phone records and it turns out he was talking with a girl in his class for 3 months every single day, 20 and 30 minute conversations and texts every day. When I asked to see the texts, his text history was deleted. He claims it was all school related with the exception of a couple joke texts here and there (forwards). I can get that alot of the conversations could be about class, however, why did he not ever mention to me that he was studying or whatever with somebody from class? We talked on the phone every day and he shared with me information about class but he "forgot" to mention that? And she was there the night there is 3 hours unaccounted for (he claims with 2 other people besides them), but when I called to see where he was around 1am, it was silent, no background noise. He claims he walked away from everyone to answer my call. Now, this information didnt come easily, he was lying to me about all this, I had to dig it out of him/trick him to get him to admit to it. He knew her personal life, like that shes going through a divorce right now. If thats not bad enough, we had a similar situation in our marriage 2 and a half years ago which i forgave him for (no concrete evidence anything happened except what my gut told me) and now all I can think about is that he has done this twice and how I look like such an idiot for continuing to take him back. Please, please I need something to go on to forgive him. I cant shake it, Im physically ill thinking about it.


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## feelinghurt (May 22, 2013)

Please, can somebody tell me if im over reacting or if i really should not trust him? I dont know what to do.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

major red flags and very likely there's an EA or PA involved 

it definitely warrants investigation
get over to CWI and they can help you with that, also click the newbie link in my signature


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Shall it be three strikes before he is out? You decide.


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## feelinghurt (May 22, 2013)

i know, thats what is so hard about this


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