# Looking for some insight



## Jefro (Oct 26, 2011)

Hello all. I am in kind of a need for feedback here. Long story short: my wife cannot fully let go of her inhibitions. Short story long: We dated for almost three years before we got married. There was a rather healthy sex life there, until the last six months before marriage. We both made a vow of celibacy between the two of us and God, so it was for religious reasons. I have always been a believer but not always a practitioner of my religion. She has always been a practitioner as well as believer. she would go to church every sunday while i wouldn't. Anyway, she was beating herself up about all the times that we have had sex while she believed that sex before marriage was wrong. As i started going back to church, i shared in her belief, so six months before we got married, we vowed to be celibate till we got married. Well, now that we have been married for four months, (i know its not a long time) she still cannot let go of the thought that sex is a dirty thing. She tries, but i can see that she is pushing herself into almost. I wish the sex was more frequent as it has already been one and a half weeks since we have done the deed, which is about average. Is there anyway that ya'll know of i can do/say to help her break this?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, if she is a devout believer, then she will have heard of the word "forgiveness'. Confessing of your transgression to God, He will forgive you. So, now she needs to forgive herself and just let it go, because God surely has. 

God Bless.


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## Jefro (Oct 26, 2011)

That is very true. I just hope she can find the strength to forgive herself. Sometimes its hard and i told her i will be there to help in anyway that i can. Thanks for your time is responding


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi Jefro,

I see you didn't get many more responses on your thread. So, I want to elaborate a little bit more.

The issue of sexual respressions/inhibitions comes up very often. Not only in women, but also in men - so it is not uncommon. Our childhoods, our past sexual experiences, our morals/religion/upbringing can all contribute greatly to how we look at the sexual experience.

As a Godly man, as a husband, you have a very important role to play in your marriage and with your wife. You should maintain a calm, confident, and encouraging air with your wife. Let her know that her body and sexual intimacy with her are beautiful ... and Godly ... things.

God's Design for Sex - Focus on the Family

Here's a series of additional articles that you both may be interested in reading.

The Early Years - Focus on the Family

God Bless.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

Awesome advice Enchantment! Jefro, you mentioned she was trying to get over it, maybe talking to someone at your church would be helpful as well.


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## Jefro (Oct 26, 2011)

these look as if they will be very helpful. Thank you again Enchantment.


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