# This is so strange, what would you do?



## missagain (Dec 1, 2008)

Several years ago I started to notice that my husband "wasn't right". I caught him in a couple of lies about things, money matters mostly, he stopped telling me where he was working and what he was doing (he is a contractor), and at one point he told me he stopped loving me (I figured an affair) but even after that, we stayed together. I have worked very hard for 18 years and we have a beautiful little farm and a bautiful child who isn't quite grown yet. Personally, I was still in love with him and probably still am. OK, January this year, slam, I got divorce papers served to me at work. We had just purchased more property together and I thought we were working things out. I moved away from the farm last summer, into our rental to avoid domestic violence situation (which was going on) and this man has treated me as bad as you can even imagine. He is trying to steal everything through the divorce and manipulation and bully.

This weekend I was in the process of trying to price the things we own and I find on the internet this lady, 31 years old, (we are in our mid 40's.) She posted about their amazing magical relationship (new relationship) and how she is going to move in with him into his home (my home!) and how absolutely wonderful he is. (Yuck) She just knows this is meant to be because of some "coincidence" that they own the same stuff and like the same things. So this weekend she is at our farm, (for a visit, not moving in yet) my daughter goes and meets her, reports that she is a nice person. My husband is playing board games with them (he NEVER plays board games.) Heck, I still make half the mortgage payments every month. She posts how excited she is to live in the home with him, my home that I have spent 16 years building (old farm home we remodeled from the 2X4's). She hasn't even worked for 16 years. I am so angry I could scream but I am also concerned for her. Does anyone think I should warn her about what a fraud he is and that if she moves in with him, she might not be staying in the home because he isn't even divorced yet?
Does anyone think I am just being jealous and petty? Sure will appreciate your comments...oh Divorce Court is scheduled for February


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

You are not being jealous or petty. Don’t worry about her wellbeing, only your own. She has involved herself with a married man so she is not innocent in this. You left the farm because of physical abuse, your attorney should sue for ownership. Move on with you life and retain what is rightfully yours. You worked for your portion. As far as your husband goes, don’t look back. You deserve better.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Take care of yourself and your daughter first. Get through the divorce and move on with your life. Get a lawyer.

draconis


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## missagain (Dec 1, 2008)

Thanks, I wonder if it is possible that she doesn't even know he is still married? On his single's ad he posted that he is divorce. But, she has got to be really smitten to not realize he is still married, my stuff is still all over the property. ...I guess she thinks it is his....I mean, she thinks all the horses are his...man, she could be that nieve (sp?) I will take care of myself. I really, really need to, bp is off the charts lately.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

he's probably told her a bunch of lies. if you try and tell her the truth she'll just think you're lieing, and it might make your bp go up even further. stay away from her and him.


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## annmiller16 (Dec 1, 2008)

Dear missagain, Please don't worry about her, just make sure your husband can't hide any assets. Please retain a lawyer if you haven't already but don't let anyone convince you of anything that you don't believe is fair in the settlement. Find out all you can about your rights in your state and protect yourself and your property. Try not talk about your husband in a negative manner to your daughter because it will backfire on you and anyway, she'll find out later on what a rat he is and you'll look like a hero for bad-mouthing him.


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## annmiller16 (Dec 1, 2008)

to missagain, Sorry, in my previous post, I meant to say you'll look like a hero for not bad-mouthing him. Big difference.


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## DISOLUTIONED (Nov 29, 2008)

ok.... yup!! you sound just as torn up as me. i thankyou for your reply to my post. it took several days for me to post anything at all. i am sorry to hear of your situation also. i must say one thing though. i have found that i start "thinking" and my mind goes places all on its own. what i mean by that is, i worry about things that i realy have no proof or reason too. i hope in a way this is the case in your situation as i do mine also. i have found it best to just try my best to calm down, tell myself it will be OK no matter what happens, and let the chips fall where they may. one thing i have always tried to follow is to accept the things i can not change. the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I was taught that little prayer a long long time ago. and it may seem hard to follow at times. but, it is reality!! if he realy is trying to move someone into the house its not something you can change. it hurts !! and it hurts bad!! but guess what ? you dont have to worry about anyone that would shack up with a married individual. KARMA will get the best of both of them in the end. dont get me wrong... not that i wouldnt be half tempted to throw a sh!t fit myself if i find out something like this is what caused my wife to kick my [email protected] in with the divorce papers i got a few months back. stay calm. be the better person!!! you will prevail !!!
R.


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## CONFUSED83 (Dec 1, 2008)

in some states you can sue both the husband and the woman he was cheating on you with. all i can say is best of luck and get paid


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Some of your situation sounds similar to mine. There's no need to try to tell the other woman anything. She isn't going to listen to you. She will believe "Mr. Wonderful" over you. Please get a good lawyer. That's where I've been going wrong. It may be too late for me....a knowledgable friend is telling me to just sue my estranged husband in civil court. Good luck to you and your daughter.


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