# T minus 60



## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

I have a problem I need suggestions with. I'm 51 years old and became impotent 2 years ago.

Viagra works fine, but it needs an hour to become fully effective. The problem is, my wife refuses to tell me when the best time or day I should take my pill is.

She tells me she prefers "spontaneous" sex only. I was never a very spontaneous creature on the best of days, and needing to plan an hour in advance only makes it worse. 

Because of the kind of person I am, I actually prefer to have a fixed time slot once a week where sex is guaranteed to occur. That way, I can relax and anticipate, which improves my erections and the emotional impact.

She refuses to do this. She tells me scheduling sex is dehumanizing, and that I can't write computer code for life. She says I need to be content to wait until she feels like it, and then I can take my pill.

As a result, we only have hit or miss sex once per month which to me is now seldom satisfactory.

I've done my level best to make sex satisfying for her. She actually rarely has an orgasm through intercourse. I've found manual and oral techniques work very effectively on her.

She and I both know the intercourse is just for me, as I feel I need it for reinforcing the emotional closeness of the marriage bond. I last after about three to five minutes of slow movement, which I consider satisfactory under the circumstances, and which she especially enjoys even though she doesn't climax.

I'm not sure how to resolve this impasse.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Would she agree to letting one month be her way of spontaneous and the next month be your way of planned?

I until recently was against scheduled sex. When I gave it a try though I found I looked forward to it during the day and it also took pressure off the over nights as I didn't have to wonder when it was going to happen next.

In any case. Will she compromise with you on this or are you stuck with the way she wants it or no sex at all?


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

I've told her I wanted four times per month, and that I didn't trust in spontaneity to guarantee that would happen. She tells me she just doesn't have as much drive anymore. She's 42, going through early menopause, so this is believeable... up to a point. She may not feel like initiating, but when I do caress or kiss her in all the right placesher drive comes back like a bonfire.
I've asked if she has issues with me which make me less appealing, she claims all I care about in the marriage is "sex". I've told her in return what I really care about in the marriage is "making love to her". This is all very ironic given we were at each other like bunnies a dozen years ago.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Cialis.


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

What of Cialis?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

What have you read about menopause and perimenopause? Some women experience a nose dive in sex drive.

The thought that occurred to me was as soon as you two spontaneously get busy, you pop a Viagara, then take you time and bring her to orgasm many time over and hour. Long slow lovemaking, taking little breaks so she can catch her breath before you head down south for more... Yummmmm.

Also, maybe for her is can be spontaneous after you make some welcomed overtures you take your pill then slowly dance her to the bedroom, or the kitchen table, or the garage... You gotta mix it up if she's asking for spontinaity. 

Cialis low dose daily sometimes works. What you can do, if you're unsure of the effectiveness is to take it daily, but if it seems like a good time take another two doses then skip two days.

My H takes Cialis low dose daily but he will skip a day or so and pop the extras when I'm acting like a cat in heat. 

Also, it may be time for you two to do a sexual bucket list. List ten places you each want to have sex in the next year. Not just Paris or Rome but... Under a bridge in the country, on a trail, in front of a fire...can you do it on a bike on a hike at night?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Hell even I can tell when you're in heat and I don't even know you.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Aule said:


> What of Cialis?


CIalis is a pill you take everyday. While it is really to treat an enlarged prostrate, it also works for ED. I tried taking it for my enlarged prostrate, but it gave the squirts something fierce.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Like Anon, I suggest you pop the pill whenever you have both said "yes" and spend the next hour having some kind of foreplay, or even just have dinner and her for dessert! I mean, unless you are saying she says "now" and you are supposed to head straight for the goodies that moment at her command? That doesn't make sense. An hour is not very long to complete other tasks or have a glass of wine together or have straight up foreplay.


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## quandtrtle (Nov 22, 2013)

I until recently was against scheduled sex.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Thound said:


> CIalis is a pill you take everyday. While it is really to treat an enlarged prostrate, it also works for ED. I tried taking it for my enlarged prostrate, but it gave the squirts something fierce.


Isn't that the idea, making it squirt often....

Oh, you don't mean out there :rofl:


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## AlternateUniverse (Oct 2, 2013)

quandtrtle said:


> I until recently was against scheduled sex.


I use "Cialis for daily use". They come in 2.5mg or 5.0mg. The 2.5 worked well and the 5.0 was the same price, so I get the 5.0 and cut them in half. I sometimes take the full 5.0 on the weekend or when there is a better chance of needing it.

There was also an unexpected side effect. I an 58 years old and have damaged knees with a lot of arthritis in them. After less than a week of daily use the constant aching was gone. My feet have never had a problem with cold, but now they get too warm.

I also realized that my "junk" had never been functioning correctly. Can explain later.

The results so far have been good for sexual function with some wonderful side effects.

I also got a prescription for a high grade pump. The Dr. said practice, practice, practice. Have not used the pump for sex yet, but I think it will work well. When I found the correct size band it is very comfortable (feels a little odd) and will stay for the 30 min. they recommend as the time limit. I am now trying to get in better shape and lose weight so I can have what I think will be a better quality sex life than I have ever had.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I think Cialis can be taken daily....so she can be as spontaneous as she likes. Would that work?

Or, take your viagra before giving her a full body, erotic massage. Then, you will both be in the mood for PIV....right?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Staxyn is a very quick acting ED med. In less than 15 minutes it will be fully effective. The pill dissolves under your tongue and is absorbed into the blood stream in less than a minute.

Be sure your physical health is good. Lose some weight, eat healthy, cut out the smoking, reduce alcohol. Caffeine can irritate the prostate and contribute to ED. Low T is a big factor in ED. Get yours checked and then work with a qualified doc if it needs boosting. I would avoid a general doc or a urologist because they tend to go right to the gels. Gels work but they do not address the entire spectrum of chemistry going on. Estrogen can be boosted by the T gels, for example. An endocrinologist may be a better doc to see for T.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Aule said:


> What of Cialis?


Cialis Daily Dosage actually. This is a different formulation than regular Cialis. Once a day every day and you're good to go, tho if not covered by insurance the price could be ugly... It's a maintenance drug. 

There are some super funny Cialis bathtub commercials, look for them on YouTube


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

So, it's all about her feeling in the mood, and nothing about you. It does not sounds like a balanced relationship.

So, spontaneously divorce her! That should work fine for her. (No, not really, unless this AND other issues have you at that point.)


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

john117 said:


> Cialis Daily actually. Once a day and you're good to go, tho if not covered by insurance the price could be ugly... It's a maintenance drug.
> 
> There are some super funny Cialis bathtub commercials, look for them on YouTube


Yea, I have NEVER understood how two people sitting in two different bathtubs in the forest equates to good sex. Who came up with this advertising idea?????


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Hell even I can tell when you're in heat and I don't even know you.


Alright! Enough with the likes on this!!!!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Aule said:


> I have a problem I need suggestions with. I'm 51 years old and became impotent 2 years ago.
> 
> Viagra works fine, but it needs an hour to become fully effective. The problem is, my wife refuses to tell me when the best time or day I should take my pill is.
> 
> ...


Viagra probably isn't working good enough for you.
Or there are issues affecting it's effectiveness.

I second what the other guys recommend , Cialis.
I have used it a few times , recreationally. Never tried anything else [ don't have ED] but I've also heard other men who suffer from ED say that Cialis worked for them better than Viagra.
Cialis stays in your system for about three to four days.You only get erections when you want to. They are firmer and you last longer.[ Your results might vary, especially if you have issues like smoking , drinking etc. ]

There are a few precautions when taking any ED pills.
If you use nitrates or have heart disease,you might want to check your Dr. before switching , so that he prescribes the right dosage. They come in three different dosages.
Best used on a full stomach, and when using them stay away from greasy / oily foods, they reduce the effect of the pill.
Don't use grapefruit or citrus juices with them.
Stay from alcohol when using pill.

Are you a smoker?
Then that too might be contributing to your ED problem.

If you want Cialis [ or any other pill] to work really fast, instead of swallowing it whole, you can crush it and mix it with water or place the pill below your tongue for a few minutes and it will dissolve, then drink a glass of water.
[ Both methods taste awful , but work very quickly]

Have you been to your doctor about your ED issues?
Is it related to cardiovascular issues? If so then before you use Cialis , you need to check your doctor.
If you have not consulted your doctor on your ED issues , then please do so urgently. ED can be a warning sign of cardiovascular related issues.

Best wishes.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Have you checked how long Viagra stays effective for? I thought it was some 6 hours or so. In which case what is to stop you popping one on a day when you plan to engineer some "spontaneous" sex and then pick your moment to seduce her? She gets the spontaneity, you get the planning, win, win.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I believe Cialis advertises 'effective up to 32 hours' for 10 mg.
5 mg daily for maintenance so you're always ready.

I have taken Cialis for on again off again issues. Will go months without any issues, then all of a sudden, weeks with issues, then back again. Cialis has worked wonders getting through those times when ****ey just wants a vacation.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Aule said:


> *She and I both know the intercourse is just for me, as I feel I need it for reinforcing the emotional closeness of the marriage bond.* I last after about three to five minutes of slow movement, which I consider satisfactory under the circumstances, and which she especially enjoys even though she doesn't climax.
> 
> I'm not sure how to resolve this impasse.


So she recognizes that this is important to you for bonding, but is unwilling to bend a little on the scheduling issue? Either she really doesn't understand the emotional component here, or her being inconvenienced outweighs her desire to meet your needs.

Not cool, imo.


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