# Need advice quickly please????



## LoneRanger83 (Jul 13, 2016)

So this evening my wife went out with one of her close work friends (someone I have only met once in 9 years, yes once!) for drinks, and a meal... not a problem I thought, be good for her to get out and socialise. 

Well, something doesn't add up. She went to her house first around 7pm to check out her new living room make over which is fine, and then texted me at 8.40pm saying they were waiting for food in the Italian. I left her too it for a while to enjoy herself, and then it got late (1am) so I texted asking her where she was. She said still in the Italian so then I asked for the name, she said she couldn't remember so I asked again and she told me.

Now given she had texted me also at 10.25pm saying she was stuffed and they had finished food, are you telling me she's staying after at a restaurant for drinks (yes drinks happen but...) with her friend for a total of 2 and a half hours????

Not only this, but I google the effing restaurant (yes I'm angry!) and it says the opening times are till 11pm on a effing Thursday night not 1am!!!??? Do I phone and ask what time they closed tomorrow?

Really fuming, any advice?


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Check your phone bill first.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Did you not use the locator on her iphone to see where she was?


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

It helps if you stick to one thread.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Brace yourself.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

LoneRanger83 said:


> *So this evening my wife went out with one of her close work friends *(someone I have only met once in 9 years, yes once!) for drinks, and a meal... not a problem I thought, be good for her to get out and socialise.
> 
> *Well, something doesn't add up. *She went to her house first around 7pm to check out her new living room make over which is fine, and then texted me at 8.40pm saying they were waiting for food in the Italian. I left her too it for a while to enjoy herself, and then it got late (1am) so I texted asking her where she was. She said still in the Italian so then I asked for the name, she said she couldn't remember so I asked again and she told me.
> 
> ...




You are right something doesn't add up. She went out this evening (Thursday)? Are you having a premonition about this or something


----------



## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Clever catch, kristin


----------



## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Maybe he's overseas?


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

ThreeStrikes said:


> Maybe he's overseas?


Probably, the wording in his post is a bit off. His wife is "in the Italian", I guess that is better than an Italian being in his wife>

OP, call the restaurant when they open on Friday.


----------



## Diogenes1972 (Jul 15, 2016)

I have a similar issue. I always let my wife know what I am doing and where I am going as a courtesy. She however, edits her information. Her and her friends go to a movie and fours later they are eating and drinking. If she would have said, "We are going to eat at.... Be home around..." It would greatly ease my mind. I don't think she is doing anything wrong but, I feel disrespected since she never lets me know her intentions and I feel like a bad husband of I text and ask, "What are you doing? Where are you?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Just calling to see what time the restraunt closes won't help. If a group is still sitting there after closing time, the restraunt will let them sit. It will only help if she has some glaring physical characteristic. 

Check her bank statement? Should tell you WHERE she was buying drinks.

Do you have reasons that make you wonder what she was up to?


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

ThreeStrikes said:


> Maybe he's overseas?




Yes, he is in the UK. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

LoneRanger83 said:


> So this evening my wife went out with one of her close work friends (someone I have only met once in 9 years, yes once!) for drinks, and a meal... not a problem I thought, be good for her to get out and socialise.
> 
> Well, something doesn't add up. She went to her house first around 7pm to check out her new living room make over which is fine, and then texted me at 8.40pm saying they were waiting for food in the Italian. I left her too it for a while to enjoy herself, and then it got late (1am) so I texted asking her where she was. She said still in the Italian so then I asked for the name, she said she couldn't remember so I asked again and she told me.
> 
> ...


Advice?? Yes. You are a grown man. There are things you will accept and things you won't. Set clear boundaries on what is acceptable. If she persists on violating them...do something about it. Since you can't control another person...all you can do is control yourself. leave her. If you find this action to be unacceptable...and you simply want to nag and complain her into doing what you want...prepare yourself for a WHOLE bunch of disappointment. 

Simply put...You can';t tell her what to do...but you sure can tell her what you will put up with. However, if you falter...even once...a little bit. Its over. Always do what you say you will do...live your life that way...people (including your wife) will pay attention


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

LoneRanger83 said:


> So this evening my wife went out with one of her close work friends (someone I have only met once in 9 years, yes once!) for drinks, and a meal... not a problem I thought, be good for her to get out and socialise.
> 
> Well, something doesn't add up. She went to her house first around 7pm to check out her new living room make over which is fine, and then texted me at 8.40pm saying they were waiting for food in the Italian. I left her too it for a while to enjoy herself, and then it got late (1am) so I texted asking her where she was. She said still in the Italian so then I asked for the name, she said she couldn't remember so I asked again and she told me.
> 
> ...


*Hell, yes!

As is, there is a most foul, rotten stench in "Denmark!"*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> You are right something doesn't add up. *She went out this evening (Thursday)? Are you having a premonition about this or something*


He posted in the early hours of Fri morning so "this evening" refers to the evening before - he had been waiting all night for her and got really angry. Understandable.

Nothing off about his post - he sounds like he was genuinely upset about some really suspicious behaviour.

I have seen wives (including mine) go out for dinner with the "girls" and get carried away and stay on for some extra drinking getting progressively drunk while the waiters beg them to leave. This may not be the case here depending on the restaurant. Firstly, this wasn't an extra half hour after closing, it was more than 2 hours after closing time!!! Secondly, she didn't call him to tell him she would be late.

OP, this is very suspicious and you need to investigate (stealthily - do not tip your hand). It would be right to check with the restaurant what time they actually closed last night. You can say that you think your wife left her earrings or something behind on the table and see if they remember your wife staying there till late. But do it quickly before they forget about the evening.

If you find that they did stay there for whatever reason, then try and find out if they were joined by anyone at the restaurant or even who really went to the restaurant. Her friend may be complicit with her in this so you need to be clever about finding this out and some "bluffing" may be necessary. 

If they didn't stay there, then you really need to be careful and take the investigation underground to uncover where they were, who with, doing what etc.


----------



## rafaelandy (May 8, 2013)

loneranger83, 

your situation is very familiar. something is wrong when your wife lies to you like this. in my experience, my (soon to be ex) wife lied to me in the same manner - didn't answer my calls, told me afterwards that she's with her girlfriends having late dinner. fast-forward after 3 years, she admitted she was in a bar with "friends" (1 girl and 2 men) drinking...and slept with the 2 men they were with during that night.

keep your composure. observe and make a list of her "strange" behaviors. do not confront her yet without any solid evidence of any wrongdoing. i may be wrong about what i'm thinking, but this it's definitely a RED FLAG when your wife starts LYING to you.


----------



## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

OP

She is lying to you. And whoever this girlfriend is appears to be perfectly willing to cover for her

I suggest you do the following asap
(1) Google signs you wife is cheating on you 
(2) check your phone records to see if there are a lot of calls to a number you do not recognize
(3) put a GPS on her car . If she does not have phone locator your asking her to turn it on will only alert her
(4) put a VAR in her car if she drives 

Now you can hope you are all wrong but the old saying is is trust your gut . And your gut brought you to this forum.
If she is hooking up with someone who is NOT a co- worker that she has access to every day , then if she is cheating it is anONS or you will surely get the going out with girlfriend story again soon since she thinks you are clueless. 
The VAR in the car will tell you what you want to know in probably less than two or three days 

I strongly advise you not to fall into denial. That is what most guys do until they get whacked
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

LoneRanger, I, like you, am in the UK and am only too familiar with wives getting together to go out and not keeping their husbands informed.

Did you manage to find out anything else ? Where in the UK is this ? As you know London, Birmingham, Manchester are a completely different matter compared to, lets say, smaller towns.

Did she get home or spend the night at her friend's?

Hope you are ok.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LoneRanger83 said:


> So this evening my wife went out with one of her close work friends (someone I have only met once in 9 years, yes once!) for drinks, and a meal... not a problem I thought, be good for her to get out and socialise.
> 
> Well, something doesn't add up. She went to her house first around 7pm to check out her new living room make over which is fine, and then texted me at 8.40pm saying they were waiting for food in the Italian. I left her too it for a while to enjoy herself, and then it got late (1am) so I texted asking her where she was. She said still in the Italian so then I asked for the name, she said she couldn't remember so I asked again and she told me.
> 
> ...


If the restaurant is family owned and there are a table of high spending tippers in, closing time can be flexible.

Unless the restaurant is owned by a friend? Then they might have stayed behind as guests of the owners? That happened to me a couple of times.

However, now you know the name of the restaurant book a table there with your wife for the same day and time next week.

And see what happens.

By the way, do not be too reliant on what it says on the website, as this information can be wrong, as it might not have been updated in years.

I had to correct a entry on Google maps a couple of months back, it carried details of a restaurant that had been closed for two years.

Also, my wife and I relied on the website of a restaurant we arrived to find the place shut. They's changed their opening times and couldn't be arsed to change the website details.

Try not to get too angry.

Here's another idea. She was so drunk she had to go back to her friend's place to throw up and down some black coffee before she was "well" enough to go home?


----------



## oliamble (Jun 1, 2015)

Maybe also sometimes even if a restaurant closes they still let the patrons in finished their food or drinks but don't let anyone else in. The only way to find out is to call the restaurant to see if that's the case. 

Alternative#1 is that she maybe hiding something and after the restaurant went out with her friend for some drinks. 

Alt#2 that they met someone (a male) at the restaurant and from there they kicked it off to have some drinks (mire like a hall pass situation), likely this happened 

Alt#3 she was hiding it from the gedco and had plan to meet someone and used the "I have to see my friend" excuse to formulate the plan, then went out with this guy and perhaps more than enough happened. (Very unlikely unless she has a history of cheating or you are having trouble with your relationship)




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## flynpiggies1 (Jan 27, 2016)

Check the restaurants hours!!

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> If the restaurant is family owned and there are a table of high spending tippers in, closing time can be flexible.
> 
> Unless the restaurant is owned by a friend? Then they might have stayed behind as guests of the owners? That happened to me a couple of times.
> 
> Here's another idea. She was so drunk she had to go back to her friend's place to throw up and down some black coffee before she was "well" enough to go home?


I don't know the U.K., but here a restaurant that is family owned will allow some big tippers a bit of leeway, but not 2 hours +. It's plausible, but not likely.

If she was so drunk she couldn't get herself safely home and needed to worship the porcelain god and choke down 2 pots of black coffee, the correct and most usual behavior would be to explain that to her spouse. Or, if she was mid- worship, have her friend text her DH to let him know the situation.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Was OP banned?


----------

