# I've had it!



## blah (Oct 14, 2009)

Sorry about my rambling. I am just so upset right now. I have posted on here before saying I was going to try be a better wife. I have even gone so far to start the Love Dare book, trying to be the best wife I can be despite my husband being a huge jerk! I just found out that my aunt has cancer that has spread throughout her body. I want to drive to the city she is in for treatment to see her and the rest of my family. I asked my husband to come with me and this is exactly what he said, "no, if I come with you then we'll have to stay in a hotel" then I said I am going to stay in a hotel regardless if you are there or not, then he said "but I don't wanna go to (city)". No, sorry about your aunt, what can I do for you? It was all him! Ugh, I am just so pissed! This has been going on for so long, him him him! Even when I was stuck in the hospital after just giving birth he left me to hang out with his friends, and he wouldn't go to my only ultrasound with me, so his mother took me. What an a**hole! Please let me know if this jerk is worth sticking around for!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I can't tell you if he is worth staying with from what I know right now, but you are right about him being insensitive and a jerk. Have you both sat down and talked about what you expect from him and that you feel the only one trying to be nice and work on themselves is you??


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## blah (Oct 14, 2009)

Yeah, we have gone over this so many times. I don't know why he is still married to me. He treats me like garbage, and we have been to counseling. But when we actually talked about getting a divorce he got really upset. He leaves all the time to go and do his own thing, sometimes weeks at a time. I just want him to leave and not return. If I wasn't afraid that he would try to take my son from me I would divorce him in a second. He just disgusts me. When we go to church he puts on this show like he is this great husband. Hugs me and talks to me nicely and then when we get home it is not the same. My mother died several years ago and I shortly after she died I was laying on my bed crying and listening to music, later he told me I purposely put sad music on so that I can cry because I am dramatic. When I am upset with him all these memories start coming back reminding me of his insensitivity. I am only 26 years old and I feel like I have so much ahead of me. I am not looking for a man to replace him, but it would be nice in the future to not have to deal with a constant jerk.


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## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

Why would you think he would take you son from you? You are the mother, the only way he could take you son is either be kidnapping him or taking you to court to get custody but that will leave him with the burden of proof to show you are an unfit mother. That is very hard to do. I have seen courts award junkie moms custody.

Im thinking of going through with a divorce and my hubby always tells me he wants sole custody of his kids but he knows he wont get that unless the court awards them and he shows Im an unfit mother or I sign over my parental rights....no way in hell Im doing that. 

As for your other issues, why are you still married to him is the question you should be asking.


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## optimistvik (Aug 4, 2009)

Just get rid of him, take a divorce and look after you kid. there is no way he can take your kid away from you. you even have the strong evidence against him that he was not with you when you were in hospital during your delivery. so dont worry just push him out.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I would seperate right now. Give him a chance to see if he wants to fight for your marriage.. If he doesn't change follow through with divorcing him..


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I think Loving Husband has the right idea on this one. Get a seperation and see how BOTH of you feel during it. That seems to be the best route, and I wouldn't get too worried about his getting sole custody, like many of the others have stated, he would have to prove you are unfit. Best of luck honey!


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## *momof4* (Oct 25, 2009)

Loving husband has it right, leave him. maybe it will be an eye opener for him. We teach people how to treat us and it sounds like he has learned it is ok to treat you this way. I know how it feels to not have your husband in the delivery room while you are giving birth, mine went to the waiting room to go check on his other two kids from a previous marriage(6 & 12 years old) and missed the whole birth. He then blamed it on my mom b/c she didn't offer to go check on them! truth is, when you are as unhappy as you sound, it's time to take some action. Sit back and see how he reacts to it and that might help you decide where to go from there.


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