# Diminshed desire



## Gracie_Lou_Freebush (Jan 31, 2013)

Over the last yr my desire has drastically diminished. I suffered a loss and though I am at peace its hard to remain that way and give my husband what he wants. Of course there are times I truly do not want to either because I am ill and don't fell up to it or after a long arguement that is the last thing on my mind.

I am continually trying to communicate (until he turns it into a fight, yes I have done it too), i've expressed my stand point of also a need to be careful since we aren't ready for children. Though he does have a child from a teenage pregnancy and I am seeing first handed how that worked for them and for us as a couple, so I get scared. We do use protection of different sorts, but there are still
times that he may not want to. I get frustrated because he wants it his way but I don't feel "safe" about it and Im supposed to get over it. I've been through therapy in the past to help me emotionally and mentally but I'm just at a loss. Im starting to get into a "bubble phase", he is starting to genuinely annoy me
When he oversteps and pushes my last button!

Any suggestions on how to communicate this and get some of my desire for intimacy back?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Tell him until he agrees to always wraps it up, Gracie Lou's bush won't be very free.


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## Gracie_Lou_Freebush (Jan 31, 2013)

Good idea both of you! Thanks!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

I agree, whatever his way is (he thinks he'll pull out before he comes?) is NO WAY unless you are ready for kids. Don't let bully/manipulate you into having unprotected sex. Be firm on this but try to stay calm, as hard as that is when he pushes your buttons.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

First thing my wife and I talked about before we got serious, engaged and married. "Birth Control" Waited 6 months before we went all the way just to be sure with lots of oral before then. We've never had a "I'm late" in 13+ years. I've never worn a condom either. To me, wearing a condom is for couples that aren't seriously committed to each other "marriage". When I have sex with my wifee, its the entire experience or nothing for us. If I suddenly told my wife, I don't want to cum in you, she would feel like I'm not really into her, hurt, and what's wrong?!


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## goodwife4 (Jan 7, 2013)

there is no other safe way to not get pregnant and he is selfish for asking for that.

i fell preg with 3rd child during monthly....... yes that is NOT safe either..... although only 2% chance. i have a child to proove it iant safe.

also had a friend who had a child when her hubby was pulling out to finish.... thats not safe either

so cover it or dont have sex .... his options


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## not.a.fool (Jan 27, 2013)

personally I would tell him that you have no intentions of having a child at this point in your life and if he doesn't understand that, he should think about it long and hard and if he still doesn't understand that, you should realize that he is selfish and doesn't care about your wants and needs. I wouldn't think that a "talk" is what is needed, it should be an understood issue


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