# Need help from the gurus here!



## sickandtiredofthis (Aug 12, 2014)

Situation: Married for 20+ years, she's 42, I'm 45. She has cheated on me 3 times (this makes 4), I have cheated once. I just found out (through her admission) on July 20th that she was pining after a man at her job. I had felt something was wrong since late May. I think that's escalated now to a physical affair (not sure how, unless they did it in the car after work, or in a back room in the hospital. I doubt that because she wouldn't risk getting fired or losing her nursing license). What makes me think it's gotten physical are some of the texts I retrieved.

ANYWAY, regardless, I told her when she admitted it on July 20th, that I was divorcing her. The problem: We BOTH have custody of our granddaughter. We wrestled it away from the mother because the mother is NUTS. So when we go to divorce court, my granddaughter comes up for grabs again and anyone can put their hand in I'm afraid (including the nutso mother). My wife is worried as HELL about this. I am too, but she should have thought about this. 

But I'm divorcing her no matter what, I'm not taking this crap. So here's what I have set up:

-Apartment for me and my youngest (18) son
-Taking wife OFF of medical insurance BEFORE I file (the difference in the monthly premium pays my new rent)
-Can't afford an attorney because I just scraped up enough money to move and establish a new residence. So I have to draw up my own paperwork and go pro se.
-Drawing up divorce petition, request for temporary hearing for granddaughter's temporary custody, and restraining order.

The plan: I don't think my wife whoring herself out to a tatted-up man with a temper is any environment for my granddaughter. So when I move out next week, I'm taking her with me. If she knew I was taking the granddaughter, she would be livid. So I'm waiting until she starts her night shift at 7pm, then I also have to make sure my oldest son doesn't come around the house...so I'm executing the plan around 11pm one night next week. I have my son's friends lined up to help. 

She will come home and see my son's room empty, granddaughter's room empty, and our room mostly empty as well. She will come home to an empty house and then the poopoo will hit the fan. But I'm ready.

Question: Does anyone know of an attorney in Texas to take on a case and accept installment payments?

Also, have I forgotten anything?


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

You will need to speak to an attorney as the custody of the granddaughter will be an issue and also how you got custody whether it was a legal agreement or if the mother just agreed you could care for her. Where is the father in regards to the granddaughter? 

You will run into issues taking your wife off the insurance. Insurance coverage falls under the great abyss known as alimony and will come back to haunt you.

Your midnight move plan is not in your best interests either and taking the granddaughter without your wifes knowledge will almost certainly get you into legal hot water. You know she will be livid already and this will turn into a huge legal battle. You will be needing an attorney then for sure. Your best bet is to not leave your residence. Do you own or rent currently? 

While it seems like a good plan right now, its gonna bite you in the butt if you execute it that way


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Cool.

So the family is moving and you forgot to tell your cheating wife....love it!

What are you going to do with your wife's stuff? May I suggest you send it over to OM's place!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

honcho said:


> You will need to speak to an attorney as the custody of the granddaughter will be an issue and also how you got custody whether it was a legal agreement or if the mother just agreed you could care for her. Where is the father in regards to the granddaughter?
> 
> You will run into issues taking your wife off the insurance. Insurance coverage falls under the great abyss known as alimony and will come back to haunt you.
> 
> ...


With solid evidence or if WW is in love with OM.....the WW might be scared to raise a stink or be so deep in the fog to even give a crap.

The way I see it the WW and AP don't have to phuck in a car anymore, now they can phuck on the floor in an empty house/apt.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

the guy said:


> With solid evidence or if WW is in love with OM.....the WW might be scared to raise a stink or be so deep in the fog to even give a crap.
> 
> The way I see it the WW and AP don't have to phuck in a car anymore, now they can phuck on the floor in an empty house/apt.


This is her 4th affair that he knows of, I highly doubt love has much to do with her "urges". The picture plays well her coming home to an empty house and no kids and so many would like to do this, yet the next day when he has child services hounding him about stealing the baby or a judge yelling at him for hiding community property because the home furnishings he stole just isnt worth it. 

The expense of an hour or two at a lawyer right now would service him far better so he can cover his butt. I do think in TX adultery does have an impact for alimony.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

honcho said:


> The picture plays well her coming home to an empty house and no kids and so many would like to do this, yet the next day when he has child services hounding him about stealing the baby or a judge yelling at him for hiding community property because the home furnishings he stole just isnt worth it.


Yeah the plan is way too reckless. He'll look like a horrible person in the eyes of the court. 

And the health insurance thing? You can't simply remove your spouse from your health insurance and then divorce them. 

I bet if she got sick while uninsured the courts would make you pay the entire bill.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

lenzi said:


> Yeah the plan is way too reckless. He'll look like a horrible person in the eyes of the court.
> 
> And the health insurance thing? You can't simply remove your spouse from your health insurance and then divorce them.
> 
> I bet if she got sick while uninsured the courts would make you pay the entire bill.


A former co-worker of mine ex did this that exact thing, dropped him off her insurance right before filing. He didnt know and had an accident, the medical bills were huge. They both lost everything because "she had a brilliant plan"


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

YA let common sense prevail, but what if OP moved and took waywards stuff and *just* forgot to tell her?

At the end of the day the best revenge is to live life well!

But man wouldn't the look on his old ladies face be priceless when she comes home from work and everything is gone?

Shamwow split on his WW and they didn't have kids, The grand kid makes it complicated......that's for sure!

At the very least, it would be classic to pack all WW crap and send it to OM's place.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Not having the full story from OP...its easy to make all kinds of crap up in phucking with the WW.

At the end of the day it is reckless...enless OP has an ace up his sleeve.


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## sickandtiredofthis (Aug 12, 2014)

Both attorneys I visited with said I'm good with getting the child out of the situation since she told me herself that OM "has a temper". My ace up my sleeve is that I have screen shots (sent to me "somehow" from HER phone ;-)) of the sext messages between the two of them. 

But I really do feel that I'm removing my granddaughter from a dangerous situation. It's despicable for her to carry on with this man by text under our roof with her there.

In my "Dear John" letter, I'm telling her that I removed her from my health insurance the day before I filed, therefore, she needs to get on her employers health insurance plan NOW.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Wife has COBRA rights you can't destroy and one of them is the notice that her insurance is about to terminate.

Even if you convince your employer to drop her prior to filing, she can file and seek reinstatement of coverage. So you will look vengeful and get stuck with the bill anyway.


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

You are right - you do not deserve to be treated like this by your wife - this is certainly not a healthy marriage. Your plan, however, is going to come crashing down when she goes to court. You cannot just take-away her insurance and you cannot just take your granddaughter out of the house unless she consents. All that will be accomplished is creating an atmosphere of anger and vindictiveness. If you really care for your granddaughter as much as you say you do, then dealing with your wife honestly and openly is the best for everyone involved.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

sickandtiredofthis said:


> Both attorneys I visited with said I'm good with getting the child out of the situation since she told me herself that OM "has a temper".


That's rather surprising.



sickandtiredofthis said:


> My ace up my sleeve is that I have screen shots (sent to me "somehow" from HER phone ;-)) of the sext messages between the two of them.


Do you live in a state where the courts actually care about infidelity? I didn't think there were too many left. 



sickandtiredofthis said:


> But I really do feel that I'm removing my granddaughter from a dangerous situation. It's despicable for her to carry on with this man by text under our roof with her there.


It may be despicable but that doesn't make it dangerous. 



sickandtiredofthis said:


> In my "Dear John" letter, I'm telling her that I removed her from my health insurance the day before I filed, therefore, she needs to get on her employers health insurance plan NOW.


That doesn't mean you're within your rights to terminate her.


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