# Need brutally honest opinion...



## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

So, my H had an emotional affair and when he was working on coming clean we had a night of complete honesty. He was humbled and broken to the core - and revealed not only some details about this affair that I needed, but also confirmed my suspicions from a totally different, but very much the same affair from about 10 years ago.

Net net, that night he revealed a lot of very humbling and private information that he never thought he would have to face again.

Then, the next day - after more than a few drinks at a party (both of us) we had a HUGE fight. It climaxed with him saying that it was over and that he didn't love me anymore. He was really drunk, but he looked me in the eye and said "nope. nothing. i feel nothing for you anymore. you are a single mother and i am a single father. i'm calling my lawyer tomorrow." All this was said right in front of my 10 year old son, who pleaded for him to take it back.

It was by far one of the worst nights of my life. He was the one who cheated and betrayed me, yet I was the one who refused to let him go. After a few days he assured me and my son that he was not leaving, that it was the worst night of his life, and that he never never wants to think about it again. He also said he was so thankful that I didn't let him go.

We have been patching things up - and its actually going well. But I often think back to this night - was it true to the core? was it alcohol? was it just that he was completely humiliated/humbled by revealing so much the day before?
Please, anyone I would really appreciate your POV? His is only here for the kids and forcing a fit with me for their sake?


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

I would tend to believe that he was in obviously a very emotionally heightened state, fluctuating from pain to hurt. People say things they don't really mean but just to hurt. I know it was hard to hear and cut you to your core. If you keep replaying it in your mind you are continuing to tear yourself up over it.

I know I do this at times. It isn't a good idea for anyone. You will just have to let time heal the wound he inflicted in you and watch do things instead of not doing anything.


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

You are right. This is very difficult for me. Thank you for your POV.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

stillINshock said:


> It climaxed with him saying that it was over and that he didn't love me anymore. He was really drunk, but he looked me in the eye and said "nope. nothing. i feel nothing for you anymore. you are a single mother and i am a single father. i'm calling my lawyer tomorrow." All this was said right in front of my 10 year old son, who pleaded for him to take it back.


I wouldn't take this as how he really feels...he was emotionally drained from the night before and then drunk...

It's probably a difficult time for him (yes he brought this on himself) but in being open and honest with you, he runs the risk of having what he did thrown back in his face. My only advice would be to continue working through this and when all of your questions regarding the EA's have been answered stop discussing it....and NEVER throw it back in his face during an arguement.


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