# Kicking A Man When He's Down



## Mr Sad (Feb 18, 2020)

What are the chances, the man my wife cheated on me with and left me for after 30 years of marriage has the same birthday as me which was the Saturday just gone.
I found out my eldest daughter who i haven't spoken with since December who had moved away only last week actually made 3 hour round trip on Sunday to help celebrate this man's birthday....talk about kicking a man when he is down and rubbing his nose in it.

I couldn't believe it when she spent Christmas day with her mom and this man however considering when she spoke to my aunt a couple of days before my birthday and didn't mention me once this was the last thing i thought she would do as cruel as i know her to be.

He now has my wife and my eldest daughter and i guess it's only time before he has the rest of my family. I don't think i've got anything left anymore and i'm just about at breaking point as each time i take one small step forward i just get slapped in the face and humiliated even more.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Mr Sad said:


> He now has my wife and my eldest daughter and* i guess it's only time before he has the rest of my family*. I don't think i've got anything left anymore and i'm just about at breaking point as each time i take one small step forward i just get slapped in the face and humiliated even more.


ummm, no.

You make sure every one knows the truth.

Btw, keep venting, it does good for the soul.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The way to win the Turn Everyone Against OM game is to not play it. Be a good person and some good people will like you. As for the rest of them, being needy isn't going to bring them back and may drive some others away.

IDK what the problems w/ your daughter are about, but don't bring the OM into them.


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## Mr Sad (Feb 18, 2020)

I'm sorry i don't know what IDK or OM means.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

IDK = I don't know
OM = Other Man


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Mr Sad said:


> What are the chances, the man my wife cheated on me with and left me for after 30 years of marriage has the same birthday as me which was the Saturday just gone.
> I found out my eldest daughter who i haven't spoken with since December who had moved away only last week actually made 3 hour round trip on Sunday to help celebrate this man's birthday....talk about kicking a man when he is down and rubbing his nose in it.
> 
> I couldn't believe it when she spent Christmas day with her mom and this man however considering when she spoke to my aunt a couple of days before my birthday and didn't mention me once this was the last thing i thought she would do as cruel as i know her to be.
> ...


First of all, what are you doing to move on from your wife? Posting here on TAM, and sulking about your wife leaving you, isn't going to win her back. Accept that she is gone and begin looking for another lady to bring into you life.

Sitting here, lamenting your situation, and being all sad, isn't going to get her back either. No matter when his birthday is, your wife is wising him a happy birthday and not you!

As for the rest of your Family, make sure they know how hurt you are, then treat them better than you want to be treated. Your love for them will be riciprocated eventually, as long as you don't treat them badly, and act like a gumpy old man. Your display of misery will only drive them away.

As for your daughter, talk to her, and don't be nasty about it. She is likely really torn between her Dad and her Mom. She hurt you while trying to support her Mom. Forgive her and treat her with love.

Here you are with the opportunity to enjoy the hunt! Hunt well!


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

This is the internet, and you're welcome to vent here. Real Life is not the internet, so don't wear out your venting privileges w/ your friends and family.

It is natural to hope everyone tells you you were right and she was wrong. The bad news is, this may not happen. The good news is, it doesn't do you any good if it does happen. 

The best revenge is living well, so live well. It also has the effect of not making you care about revenge, or whether others validate you.


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## Mr Sad (Feb 18, 2020)

Thanks for everyone's wise words.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Tell your daughter what she has done.


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## Mr Sad (Feb 18, 2020)

My daughter knows exactly what her mother has done but unfortunately she doesn't care in her eyes i'm always the bad parent as we haven't got on since she was twelve years old. As such she hasn't showed me one single ounce of compassion and when i was at my lowest and attempted to hang myself her words was it was all fake.

She spent Christmas day with her mother and this man even though her mother only told us about the affair a couple of weeks earlier, she even spent fathers day with them and now his birthday.
When my Aunt messaged her the reply was that he's apart of her life now so for me it's the final nail in the coffin and i will never speak to my eldest daughter again.

I just hope one day they get to be treated the same way they have both treated me and get a taste of what pain really is.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Mr Sad said:


> My daughter knows exactly what her mother has done but unfortunately she doesn't care in her eyes i'm always the bad parent as we haven't got on since she was twelve years old. As such she hasn't showed me one single ounce of compassion and when i was at my lowest and attempted to hang myself her words was it was all fake.
> 
> She spent Christmas day with her mother and this man even though her mother only told us about the affair a couple of weeks earlier, she even spent fathers day with them and now his birthday.
> When my Aunt messaged her the reply was that he's apart of her life now so for me it's the final nail in the coffin and i will never speak to my eldest daughter again.
> ...


I know that this is hard. But look, you need to move on with your life. And you need to do it now. 

On day, maybe, your daughter will come back to you. And if not, you can grieve it.

But focusing on what you don't have really puts you in a down place. 

I know this all sounds so easy to say and so hard to do. 

Brother, you have to get busy living. Living a good life, improving yourself, that is the best revenge. And you don't have to even have revenge in your heart, just live your best life...


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