# Got married young



## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

I got married at a very young age. I am now 24 and my sex drive seems to never stop. My husband no longer seems to want me.

Lately I have been fantasizing about other men. I am truly lost. What do I do


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
There is nothing wrong (and a lot right) about having a high sex drive. 

Can you give a bit more info about your husband's response? Does he give any reasons? Does he turn you down, or just not initiate himself?


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

Every time I try to touch him he moves away or tells me he's not in the mood. On the rare occasion that it happens he gets his and completely ignores my needs.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

How old were you when you married? How old was he?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
was he like this before you were married, or has it changed over time?


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

I was 19 he was mid thirties


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

Changed over time


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

So at this point in your lives he is on the downhill slide and you are arriving to your libido.

A tough place to be.


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

So what do I do about it.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

SparkyWolf said:


> So what do I do about it.


There's no easy answer. He wants less sex due to his age and you want more due to yous. That's what you signed up for when you married a man so much older than yourself. 

You can try good communication and also seeing what will spark his 'attention' and work on that.

You can also try masturbation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

So now your H is nearly 40 and your 24. He denies sex and when he does consent he takes no time to ensure you have pleasure?

Will he talk about it?
Does he have erection problems?

If you were my daughter (I'd have NEVER let her marry at that age and NEVER allowed her to marry a man so much older) I'd tell you to back off from trying to have sex with him and give him an ultimatum. Fix this with me, or I'm out. You are far too young to be faced with this horse manure!


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
40 is not too old for men to enjoy sex. I am in my 50's and I very much enjoy frequent and exciting sex. Some men may start to develop physical limitations as they age, but that doesn't mean that they lose interest in sex or in pleasing their partners.

I think you need to try to find out why he has changed. Has he lost all interest in sex, or has it been transferred somewhere else: porn? other women? other men??

This is almost certainly not something "wrong" with the OP - she still wants an active sex life. The question is why did her husband change. 

Counseling might be reasonable. In the end it is very difficult to be happy in a marriage if your sex life is bad.


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

He helped me out if a tough situation and I love him. 
I've tried talkin to him and it does no good. He is a good man but doesn't treat me the way he use to.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

At around 40, some men begin to develop erectile dysfunction problems. Sometimes this is a result of unhealthy lifestyle, sometimes it is an emotional thing. I could see a man at 40 feeling his age and associated changes, seeing his young vibrant wife might make him feel like he won't be able to keep up with her...this causes the emotional part of ED. He is afraid he might not be able to maintain an erection so he avoids sex and those times he can maintain an erection he may ejaculate quickly and end sex rather than deal with his premature ejaculation. Which would explain how a once decent lover has turned into a one pump chump. In other words, your H is having erectile difficulty and instead of dealing with it he is avoiding it entirely.

MAKE him go to the doctor! Get his testosterone checked, his blood pressure, cholesterol and thyroid checked. And then TELL him he needs to be honest to his doc about avoiding sex and not being able to maintain an erection.

Tell him how hurt you are that he won't see to your sexual needs even if his pen is might not cooperate. He still has full use of his hands and tongue, right? Go buy some sex toys. I recommend this: Alise 2 Dual Motor Vibrator With Clitoral Stimulator
It is pricey but the dual motors make it an outstanding insert able toy!
By having insertables as part of your sex play, it takes the pressure of your H's penis to always be cooperating. Sex can once again be extremely pleasurable for you even when his penis decides to play dead.

Understand, a man first experiencing ED is very reluctant to talk about and commonly he avoids sex altogether. By purchasing insertables sex toys and making use of them even when his penis decides to show up, it takes the pressure off of him. By forcing him to the doctor, it shows your concern for his health and for your marriage.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

SparkyWolf said:


> He helped me out if a tough situation and I love him.
> I've tried talkin to him and it does no good. He is a good man but *doesn't treat me the way he use to*.



Explain this more please. Just sexually or all around. Please be specific and give a few examples.


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## SparkyWolf (May 21, 2015)

Lately it is sexually and emotionally. 

He says things like "I don't need u" and always says that he could be doin better without me and kids. 

It is very emotionally draining


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> So now your H is nearly 40 and your 24. He denies sex and when he does consent he takes no time to ensure you have pleasure?
> 
> Will he talk about it?
> Does he have erection problems?
> ...


AT 19, you could not prevent your daughter from marrying no matter what you wanted. She was an adult. But I do think from her posts that she married him to escape her circumstances. He married her to rescue her and now that its done, the attraction has lessened.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

SparkyWolf said:


> Lately it is sexually and emotionally.
> 
> He says things like "I don't need u" and always says that he could be doin better without me and kids.
> 
> It is very emotionally draining


Why do you want to stay married to a man who obviously doesn't love you and clearly has no respect for you? 

When he says things like that, how do you feel? Do you honestly think that at 24 and 40 his partner prospects are better than yours?

Sweetheart, your man is intentionally putting you down and tuning you out. He is stealing your youth and confidence in yourself. Maybe once he was a savior but now his is your jailer.

It is time to leave this prison and make a new life.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bkyln309 said:


> AT 19, you could not prevent your daughter from marrying no matter what you wanted. She was an adult. *But I do think from her posts that she married him to escape her circumstances. He married her to rescue her and now that its done, the attraction has lessened*.



On the bolded I think you are right.

Yes, I could have prevented my daughters from marrying that young, and in fact did so by providing them with enough self confidence and stability that they never considered, at age 19, anything more than getting through freshman year and having enough cash for pizza and beer night.


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