# New and in distress



## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

Hello, everyone. I am a 50-something married for 27 years, kids all out of the house, and really having some struggles. I would love to hear from others on my situation which I will post in the appropriate forum. Essentially, for almost a decade I have had the same issues which aren't getting any better. I am too embarrassed to talk with any friends about the whole thing. At this stage of life, everybody seems all about their grand kids or launching young adults in some cases, and some even retiring. My family and circles are of the "stick out no matter what" philosophy, but yet here I am, lonely, scared, and feeling so unheard. I am the polar opposite of friends who seem to be at a "normal" stage right now for our age and place in life, yet here I am thinking about whether or not I need to completely start over, which is terrifying. I have been reading posts for a while and feel that for the most part, people here seem very willing to help! Thank you for accepting me .


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

ButterflyGirl said:


> Hello, everyone. I am a 50-something married for 27 years, kids all out of the house, and really having some struggles. I would love to hear from others on my situation which I will post in the appropriate forum. Essentially, for almost a decade I have had the same issues which aren't getting any better. I am too embarrassed to talk with any friends about the whole thing. At this stage of life, everybody seems all about their grand kids or launching young adults in some cases, and some even retiring. My family and circles are of the "stick out no matter what" philosophy, but yet here I am, lonely, scared, and feeling so unheard. I am the polar opposite of friends who seem to be at a "normal" stage right now for our age and place in life, yet here I am thinking about whether or not I need to completely start over, which is terrifying. I have been reading posts for a while and feel that for the most part, people here seem very willing to help! Thank you for accepting me .


@ButterflyGirl Welcome to TAM from another 50 something!

I’ll be interested to read your post. I sincerely hope TAM can help bring satisfaction in and happiness to your life!


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

ButterflyGirl said:


> Hello, everyone. I am a 50-something married for 27 years, kids all out of the house, and really having some struggles. I would love to hear from others on my situation which I will post in the appropriate forum. Essentially, for almost a decade I have had the same issues which aren't getting any better. I am too embarrassed to talk with any friends about the whole thing. At this stage of life, everybody seems all about their grand kids or launching young adults in some cases, and some even retiring. My family and circles are of the "stick out no matter what" philosophy, but yet here I am, lonely, scared, and feeling so unheard. I am the polar opposite of friends who seem to be at a "normal" stage right now for our age and place in life, yet here I am thinking about whether or not I need to completely start over, which is terrifying. I have been reading posts for a while and feel that for the most part, people here seem very willing to help! Thank you for accepting me .


Welcome !


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Welcome aboard.

You might be surprised what one or two of your friends are experiencing versus what you perceive. Sometimes opening up to a close friend can really be worthwhile. Even if they don't relate to what you're going through, it can strengthen your connection with them and they may offer some thoughts that are helpful/challenging/supportive or just listen. Especially when you're coming from a place of questioning and figuring out yourself, and which even sometimes hearing yourself say some stuff out loud to another can also be helpful; rather than simply whining about your husband, I mean (not that you have). Anyway, whether you confide with a friend or not, perhaps writing out aspects here and seeing your words reflected back to yourself may offer something similar - along with reading a bunch of randoms commenting on what you have chosen to share 

Signed,
Random commenter #3


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## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> Welcome !


Thank you!


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## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

heartsbeating said:


> Welcome aboard.
> 
> You might be surprised what one or two of your friends are experiencing versus what you perceive. Sometimes opening up to a close friend can really be worthwhile. Even if they don't relate to what you're going through, it can strengthen your connection with them and they may offer some thoughts that are helpful/challenging/supportive or just listen. Especially when you're coming from a place of questioning and figuring out yourself, and which even sometimes hearing yourself say some stuff out loud to another can also be helpful; rather than simply whining about your husband, I mean (not that you have). Anyway, whether you confide with a friend or not, perhaps writing out aspects here and seeing your words reflected back to yourself may offer something similar - along with reading a bunch of randoms commenting on what you have chosen to share
> 
> ...


So glad to be here and thank you! YES - seeing or hearing back must be helpful. That's why journaling is so helpful for some, I would imagine (I am not a journaler, but maybe I should be!). I need to find my courage to talk about it IRL with a friend. I guess I am embarrassed. After this long, we should have it all figured out. That's what goes through my mind, anyways. And maybe there is a friend going through the same thing who I am totally unaware of - if I'm not talking about it, maybe they aren't either! I certainly have a lot to think about. Thank you for the welcome and thought provoking words


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## MichelleMyBelle (4 mo ago)

ButterflyGirl said:


> Hello, everyone. I am a 50-something married for 27 years, kids all out of the house, and really having some struggles. I would love to hear from others on my situation which I will post in the appropriate forum. Essentially, for almost a decade I have had the same issues which aren't getting any better. I am too embarrassed to talk with any friends about the whole thing. At this stage of life, everybody seems all about their grand kids or launching young adults in some cases, and some even retiring. My family and circles are of the "stick out no matter what" philosophy, but yet here I am, lonely, scared, and feeling so unheard. I am the polar opposite of friends who seem to be at a "normal" stage right now for our age and place in life, yet here I am thinking about whether or not I need to completely start over, which is terrifying. I have been reading posts for a while and feel that for the most part, people here seem very willing to help! Thank you for accepting me .


Hi Butterfly, and welcome! I joined recently too. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I can't advise you on anything, but I'm willing to listen if you want to share. 😊


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## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

MichelleMyBelle said:


> Hi Butterfly, and welcome! I joined recently too. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I can't advise you on anything, but I'm willing to listen if you want to share. 😊


Thank you, MIchelle! I appreciate the opportunity to be here and am sure I will learn a lot.


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## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> Welcome !


Thank you!


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## ButterflyGirl (4 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> @ButterflyGirl Welcome to TAM from another 50 something!
> 
> I’ll be interested to read your post. I sincerely hope TAM can help bring satisfaction in and happiness to your life!


Thank you. Just reading the other posts has already helped a lot. Thank you for the welcome!


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