# Is this right? On fitness tests



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

"So what do I suggest to put these **** tests to bed once and for all and to dispense with the PUA paradigms?

It’s simple: ask yourself the question “what do I want?”

What do I want now? What do I want in general? What do I want out of this relationship? What do I want in my career? What do I want in my life? What do I want? Start asking now and keep asking for the rest of your life. If you do it honestly, you might be surprised at how much of what “you” want is actually the voice of your father, or a reaction against the voice of your mother. And you might be shocked at how often you do things you actually don’t want to do.

What do women say they want? A guy who knows what HE wants, right?"


- See more at: http://www.realnaturalseduction.com/how-to-never-fail-a-****-test-again/#sthash.pVTd0jW7.dpuf


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

The link doesn't quite work. Choose the last topic in the list shown.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Link appears to be dead.

Here is another, hopefully works?

http://www.realnaturalseduction.com/how-to-never-fail-a-****-test-again/

Substitute sh*t where the asterisks are. Thank our language filters ...

When it comes down to these sorts of discussions, I'm sure no surprise to anyone who reads my comments ... and I think there are like 7 people ... context is important.

The concept of the 'sh!t' or fitness test is often discussed in the context of pickup ... but that obviously isn't the context under which most men reading here are going to wonder why their partner is becoming more challenging or disrespectful.

I try to break it down very simply; if your partner is happy with you. Loves you, respects you, and feels that you directly contribute to their sense of well being, then it is unlikely that you are going to be sh!t tested a great deal.

Now if we look at the other end of the spectrum, your partner doesn't feel attracted, safe, or respectful, and odds are, they are going to give voice to those feelings ... but perhaps not directly because at some level they know they shouldn't ... but it still leaks.

In my opinion, the biggest thing to recognize about fitness tests, is that not everything is a fitness test. This gets covered with distinction inMMSL.

But being able to recognize what IS a test is important, and it can and will vary from relationship to relationship.

Best advice I can give for passing, reducing or eliminating fitness tests?

Pay attention. Know thy self. Know what your boundaries are and maintain them ... across the board, not just with your S.O.

Without exception, I have found that the single best way to deflect, diffuse, or dissolve a fitness test is with humor.

The outcome of a fitness test shouldn't be a fight, but it doesn't have to end with smiles and hugs either. 

I don't need someone to like my decision or response, but I do require that they demonstrate respect for it.

Most fitness tests are piddling little things. 

Some, the ones that feel very big and heavy, are almost always an indicator of some other underlying condition than the test itself.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Deejo that is exactly what I wanted to understand. Thanks.


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