# Can Compliments & Affection Come to Late



## Lavender (May 14, 2008)

Hi Ladies.. Im very curious if others when dating were doted on with Compliments & sincere affection Only to have it shut off like a light switch after You became an item with your mate.. for me it seemed that initially this came umm naturally from my partner. I liked the attention so to speak when he was Pursuing.. but after the catch.. I felt released .. lol I dont know if that makes sense? 

anyway.. I have gotten frustrated & blurted outloud that Compliments & certain affection ( foreplay etc) disappeared .. I did wait til I was bitter & confused to point out .. I noticed this was Missing .. but in all Honesty ..

I didnt want to have to point it out ..kept assuming.. or Hoping it would return on its own / but it didnt Until I WAS Frustrated enough & started Pointing out it was missing!!

Now it has returned  thats a good thing other than I cant shake the feeling of why its returned.. Its really hard to feel sincere and believe the good things we hear & feel ..if we have to basically Ask for them.. 

( didnt ask for them initially when dating & thats made a huge diffrence in believing there return is sincere) 

He would disgree completly on this & says there just as sincere now as ever.. but it sure doesnt feel that way to me .. feels more like better late than never to have the comments and certain touch return more often.. but ofcourse I had to point out there exit to get there return so they dont create the same effect Now .. I hope this makes sense to someone..


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Male perspective and experience: It becomes increasingly difficult to openly, and regularly, compliment someone who either questions your sincerity, or intentions for giving the compliment. Even worse, the recipient doesn't believe the compliment themself.

Not a week ever went by in 13 years that I didn't in some manner or fashion tell my wife (even before she was my wife) that she was beautiful. And I meant it. Every single time.
But the charm wore off. She didn't believe it herself - which in a seriously messed up way, made her believe that I was full of it. Got to the point where if I said or did something nice, or complimentary, she simply assumed I was trying to get laid - and dismissed it.


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## Lavender (May 14, 2008)

Thanks 4 replying... I believed the compliments initially.. its when they abruptly went away without warning for a Long Period of time ..and only returned upon questioning ..pointing out they had stopped ....so sure they started returning ( not as frequent) but none the less just feels like obligation to remember now to be dutiful husband ,more that heartfelt spontanious... there was no as you described about yourself you complimented every week for years .. there was months during dating ... months of nothing .. now couple times a month ( after reminding) its not a major issue.. was just wandering initially if there ( compliments) being absent so long is the dead on reason they are not believed later ...I suppose both sides compliment way more in the beginning & it all falls into the comfortable married no need to chase what you have already caught category.

anyway Sincerly ..Thanks again for replying!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

From my lifes experience what I believe is: 
once resentment sets in, no amount of compliments of affection matter.

This may not be the case for you, but it is for me and many others I know.


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