# Advice welcomed...Am I a fool??



## kokopebbles (Aug 18, 2010)

Where do I start... 3 yrs ago I met what I thought was the love of my life. I was a widow at the time we met and was a little gun shy to get into another relationship. 

We had a wonderful relationship both emotionally and physically. Things were going great until he was involved in a very bad traffic accident in the southern U.S. I rushed to be by his side (I am from Canada). I was told by the doctors that he would have a very long hard road of rehabilitation ahead of him. Even though we had only been dating for a few months I didn't give it a second thought - I was not scare off. I felt that what we had was "that special" I would rather have him in my life with all his disabilities then the alternative and was ready to do what I could do to care for him and get him back on the road to some sort of normal life. 
We arrived back in Canada and proceeded to go through many hours of thearpy, operations and doctor's appointments. Due to the fact that he couldn't really do much by himself he came to live with me. Needless to say we ended up getting married after being together for a year.... Since then all hell has broken loose.
We have been married for 2 years, for the first 6 months of our marriage while he was home reccuperating he spent all of his time (even when I was home on the weekends) on the computer talking to women that he used to know and new friends he made on Facebook. He kept telling me that they were just friends but something inside me didn't sit well. It then came to my attention that he was having cyber sex with some woman that he spoke with on a forum that he belongs to. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I confronted him with this information and he didn't deny it. He apologized for treating me that way said I didn't deserve it and that he wanted to try make our marriage work. He deleted all the women on his facebook page and told me that he told the woman he spoke with on the forum that he did not want her to contact him anymore. He would make sure that he wasn't on his computer anymore during the time I was at home, so I thought maybe there was a chance for us.

You see when we first met we used to do that too (cyber sex) he was a long distance trucker and when he was on the road we would do that and it definitely kept the spark going. I think that is what hurt me the most was that he chose some stranger instead of his wife to do that with... I would of been more then willing to role play with him especially if it meant sparking a little fire in what I felt was a non existing sex life. Believe it or not he kept telling me he was doing it for us to see if he could get excited again but he said he couldn't - I don't believe it. 

In conclusion... I don't trust him probably because there is no intimacy in our marriage (hasn't been for a year). I don't know if it is me or him (he claims it is him still from the accident) I don't know if there is a positive ending to this marriage - not sure if he would be open to councelling (had said that he would rather try to resolve it on our own - kind of hard when he doesn't want to talk about it) 

I am at the end of my rope - I do think that if we could return to having an intimate relationship the trust might come back without it I just feel like his roomate. ..

I just don't know what to do....

For those of you that read this thanks for listening to my story...


----------

