# Feedback on my where I'm at now.



## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I'm gonna post my emails between my WAW. She walked June 1st then after a voice mail few days later asking for a divorce we had been talking more about R. She originally planned to wait till end of Sept till after her friends wedding, but we got excited an I had her a plane ticket for a few weeks ago. Then she talked to some Reiki/ psychic instructor that told her we should wait till the sept date. I was ok aslong as she was coming back. She had been invited for a weekend with her friends an was suggested to turn her phone off to avoid distraction. After not calling me that sunday I texted mon to ask if she was ok, she responded yes not back yet. so i left her alone. Then another week of no contact I was going nuts, she got a jury summons the friday so I sent her an email about it an it bounced. She had canceled her email an I couldn't get through on her phone anymore. So desperate I sent a message to her sister in law on facebook an looked up her reiki person on there too. What got her was I phone a phone record that had her best friends number on it an sent her a text asking what was up. That got her to start these emails. What I'd like feedback on is she sound mad, hurt, or she is being influenced. The last we talked she was in love with me an was anxious to come back. So what happened? Was it the needy desperate me that pushed her away like TAM says not to do. She won't answer my questions regarding her stuff, why? An comment about that address mean she is stalling till she gives me a new one? Just wondering what she's up to. I sent the last email last Wed an no response. That's when I came back to TAM to start following it's advice again. I went NC, but so has she.

Email starts now, but it's backwards so starts at the end:

You never sent any email about a divorce or link. The only time you said 
anything about it was the first phone call you made to me. I used 
washingtondivorceonline.com cause that is what I found. There is no cheap 
way to do it, $290 is a court filing fee. No my way or your way to it that 
is how it is. I'm sorry to inconvenience you, you should have been doing it 
yourself if it was so important. You could have told me while you where 
still here you wanted one so we could have done it together. If I filed 
without any contact info it would have cost more an took longer. They'd have 
to put ad in the newspapers down there to give you notice. Why aren't you 
talking to me about the other stuff I keep asking about? Why did you decide 
this now an not wait till the end of september? Why not come back to see if 
things are different? Did you ever mean the things you said about loving me 
forever? I can't comprehend how you can go from our texts together to this in 
such a short time.

----- Original Message ----- 
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2012 5:18 AM
Subject: Re: hello


>
> I don't know why you couldn't have used the link I sent you. If you didn't 
> have contact information you could still file uncontested. But as usual 
> you do it your way.
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
> On Tue, Jul 24, 2012 9:36 PM PDT Scott Harrison wrote:
>
>>From the looks of the papers I was emailed I will have to print them an 
>>send them for you to sign. One paper needs sign in front of a notary. So 
>>please make sure I have a address to send you the divorce papers. I'll 
>>send it all so you can look them over. You can sign it all now, an a 
>>second set of papers need to be sent after 80 days. So we can be done as 
>>soon as you send the papers back an come get your stuff.
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- 
>>Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 8:35 PM
>>Subject: Re: hello
>>
>>
>>> Nothing happened I had a change of heart. I'm not asking my parents for 
>>> money. I'm not the one checking up on you. So no I'm not messed up in 
>>> the head. Like I said leave my family alone.
>>>
>>> Scott wrote:
>>>
>>> So that's all the response I get? What happened to you? Why are you 
>>> making
>>> this worse than it has to be. I can't afford to finish the divorce so it 
>>> you
>>> want it that bad have your parents pay for it. You are messed up in the 
>>> head
>>> Suzanne. What do you expect me to do with your stuff still here? We are
>>> still connected so until we are divorced I still might need to contact 
>>> you
>>> about the separation. I contacted family because I wanted answers to 
>>> why? I
>>> deserve to know what happened, you went from "I love you" to this 
>>> hateful
>>> attitude. Was it all a game you play, sure as hell looks like I got 
>>> used.
>>> What are you after when you do this to men? Children? It's not us lady. 
>>> Get
>>> help cause your gonna keep repeating this cycle the rest of your life. 
>>> Yeah
>>> I'm still pissed, what did I do to you that you need to hurt me like 
>>> this?
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 7:46 PM
>>> Subject: Re: hello
>>>
>>>
>>>> Leave my family alone. Yes I did go to a reiki class. I'm not going to 
>>>> be
>>>> at that address for much longer if at all.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Scott wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Ok, if you decided against saving the marriage before we even tried 
>>>> then
>>>> ok,
>>>> can't force you to try. Just wish you stopped handling it the way you
>>>> are.
>>>> No reason to break contact an ignore me. I wasn't the bad guy here an
>>>> don't
>>>> deserve to be treated this way. I deserved to know you had changed 
>>>> your
>>>> mind about reconciliation. I got your hint when you deleted your email
>>>> account, another why, all you had to do is not read or respond to them. 
>>>> So
>>>> I
>>>> filed the divorce yesterday using the address you gave me at Simms 
>>>> Place.
>>>> Apparently the $250 I already paid online was just for the lawyers to 
>>>> make
>>>> up the documents an there's another $290 +$30 fee to actually file with 
>>>> the
>>>> court. So as much as we are ready for this there is no way I can afford
>>>> that
>>>> in my current situation.
>>>>
>>>> You also gave me a chance to think about us an you. Because of how you
>>>> broke
>>>> contact it showed me the kind of person you are an playing a game. I
>>>> didn't
>>>> know if the past month of us talking about trying again was all a setup 
>>>> so
>>>> you can hurt me again was on purpose or someone there changed your 
>>>> mind. I
>>>> didn't deserve to be ignored, that's made me very angry with you so I
>>>> decide
>>>> there was no way I could every trust a person like that. You still have
>>>> stuff here I didn't want to get rid of, I am a decent person an would 
>>>> feel
>>>> worse throwing everything out. You need to figure out what is keep an 
>>>> what
>>>> I
>>>> can throw away cause I can't leave it all in that room like that. I 
>>>> think
>>>> now I wouldn't mind letting you come an get your things so I had a 
>>>> chance
>>>> for us to say goodby an have a healthy closure to this marriage. It 
>>>> didn't
>>>> need to be nasty or hurtful. Yes I'm sorry I had to text pam I had to 
>>>> find
>>>> a
>>>> way to get answers to what happened to you, last I knew we we're 
>>>> looking
>>>> at
>>>> you coming back. Plus that stuff in Auroua was tearing me up worried 
>>>> that
>>>> you didn't think to text to say you where fine. I knew you couldn't 
>>>> have
>>>> been there, but I would always car about you. That's a bond we will 
>>>> always
>>>> have if you let us stay in contact. Even divorced with new lives I'd 
>>>> still
>>>> like to talk once in awhile.
>>>>
>>>> Ok you say you done some thinking would you care to elaborate so I know
>>>> what
>>>> made you change your mind before seeing if we could change an it to 
>>>> work?
>>>> That was a pretty big 180 flip from our chats an texts together. P.S. I
>>>> also
>>>> harassed Shari again so please don't break contact like that, let's be
>>>> cool
>>>> about this. Oh an did you really see a Reiki instructor? I looked one 
>>>> up
>>>> that fit yours exact description, but she said she didn't know you. 
>>>> Either
>>>> you lied about it or she said that so I'd leave her alone. The one I 
>>>> found
>>>> for that area is linnie krauland.
>>>>
>>>> An why should I save your ass with this jury thing? You really hurt me. 
>>>> Ok
>>>> on more so you do plan to change your name back then? Wouldn't think 
>>>> you'd
>>>> keep it, that'd more likely be if we had kids. Is that a reason why you
>>>> want
>>>> to move on? Because I didn't get you pregnant? I told you it shouldn't 
>>>> be
>>>> about money or where we lived cause I was ready to change that. So 
>>>> curious
>>>> why you gave up now.
>>>>
>>>> Ok had alot to say I guess, I also cancelled the flight I had done for 
>>>> you
>>>> to Utah. Don't get mad you couldn't have expected me to still let you 
>>>> have
>>>> that.
>>>>
>>>> Sorry not gonna spell chech or proof read.
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 3:02 PM
>>>> Subject: hello
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I got an email from Pam that you sent her a text. Just write on the 
>>>>> jury
>>>>> form that I have moved out of state.
>>>>> Also I've done some thinking about us and I think we should file for
>>>>> divorce.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Just got an email after a week. Just asked if I sold her car yet. She probably either wants money from it or if I can afford to file yet. So should I wait till she emails again before responding to that or just say no. Wouldn't that fall under not her concern anymore? Also the email came in at 3:30 am so what's she doing asking me that late? Maybe she's stressing an can't sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I bet she is stressed and can't sleep...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts... You're stressing too much about her and her thoughts. Start doing what's right for you. Think about sending an email that says "if your crap isn't out of her by next Friday, I will sell what I need to pay for your half of the divorce. Anything leftover will be donated to the local Goodwill store in your name. Get your car out of my parking lot, or I'll drive it to a local lot and leave it parked ther. You can then deal with the impound lot."

I have no idea what your back story is. But you're getting divorced. That means you take care of yourself, and she takes care of herself.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I already tried the threat with her stuff, but she has never responded to any ? About it. I'm in WA an she is in CO with her parents, so she just can't come over. She is a WAW an told me she wanted nothing an wasn't gonna fight so we could have a clean divorce. The stuff she left was family hierloom stuff I couldn't toss being the decent guy I am. I bought her the car an it was in my name since she destroyed her credit in her last marriage. It wasn't what she wanted so being in CO she isn't gonna take it. I'm good lately an working on myself, but still curious what she was upto sending an email like that. All I need from her is a mailing address an someone to come get her stuff.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Sad, I can see where that could be a up can't sleep found an excuse to make contact email.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Another round of emails. How am I doing? How does she sound in the last email? Sound unsure, like she is doing this to punish herself for not being open an honest with me. I don't think we should file yet after that. How would I respond to her? Either not to an wait till she emails me again or with a "then you need to get a job then don't you". Or tell her we should wait cause she doesn't sound ready.

Email starts here, backwords:

I told you I'm not asking for money from my parents. I'm not asking my parents for anything. I don't know if I'm going to be able to come get my stuff. Just sell it and deposit it into my checking account at HAPO. 
I don't think you will be able to trust me and I don't believe that it will work out. 

>You need to give me an address to send the papers for you to sign. I told you since this is what you want then you can pay for it. I also asked when will you come get your stuff you still have here. I'm not the bad guy so I still would let you have your xmas and other family stuff. Also let me know how much you will want so I can meet you with it somewhere.
>
>I tried talking to you, but you won't with me. I'd like nothing more to talk to you to make sure this is really what you want to do. Tell me you don't love me enough to give us time to work on this.
>Anything you can blame me for I can tell you it was because you never gave me a chance to trust you.
> 
>------Original Message------

>Subject: Re: hey
>Sent: Aug 2, 2012 12:42 PM
>
>I thought you already filed? I'm not going to argue. I guess we have nothing to talk about.
>>
>>I just tried going into the courthouse to get some paperwork to file the divorce, but their closed 12 to 1. You wouldn't answer any questions I asked. I'm not gonna argue back an forth with you.
>>
>> What do we have to talk about?
>>
>>------Original Message------
>>Subject: hey
>>Sent: Aug 2, 2012 12:02 PM
>>
>>
>>Are we not talking?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Anything guys, really tempted to respond tonight.
She needs counseling not a divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Hi Scott454 - 

How are you doing? Anyone would be baffled by the actions I see described in the email exchanges with your wife -- very odd indeed, but she seems to be in extreme passive aggressive mode, to say the least. So her departure came completely out of the blue, no clue as the why she left? How long were you together? In my case, we also have no kids, so that make it easier for him to walk out (together 7 years married 5), and I do know the reasons he left, which still hurts like hell when I allow myself to focus on it, but not even knowing why the person left or being able to have any sort of discussion about it would be gutting -- I am so sorry you are going through this!

Check in if you can and let us know how you are doing. Are you getting individual counseling to help you with the stress and grief?

Warmly, - A12


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

She's slept, is sleeping or is planning to sleep with someone and feels guilty about it so she wants to be divorced.

Simple as that.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

We where together 4 married for 3. Her parents retired an moved to CO an she saw that as a way out an soon left. She did distance herself as far as lack of sex the three weeks before, other than that no obvious signs of what was to happen. An yeah even now the only thing she's giving me is I would never be able to trust her. She had been lieing to me about smoking an other stuff since we first met an I never could trust her an alway was suspicious. She just sounds like she is doing this for me an to hurt herself.
If it was about her sleeping around it was only recently when she visited some friends. Would explain the sudden turn around.
I did end up emailing her last night an got a simple reply, but she still isn't giving me her address so I can send her the papers to file. Asked her plenty of times so why keep stalling if she is so sure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

Scott, you could also cold storage her stuff for 3 mos and send her the padlock combo and tell her it's her problem. That let's you move forward and doesn't solve or hurt things regarding her. 

I too have a WAW and it's just incredible how hard it is to fathom. Sorry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I had a weak moment an emailed her to once again ask for an address an thanks to Syn ask if it was someone else. Got this back

"I don't know if I can get back to get my stuff or not. No I haven't met someone else. I just have things I need to work on and I need to do it on my own. 
I've depended on everyone for too long. "

omg can't she just have her moment an after she fixes herself come back? Why does she feel the need to start over from scratch? I mean she wanted nothing from "us" but her clothes an the computer. 

Think on that note I'll go no contact for awhile.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> Think on that note I'll go no contact for awhile.


What you should have done from the very beginning and not stopped until she came back begging for your attention.

Come on man. Why are you being so weak? It's not like she's standing in front of you and her amazing looks/smell and tiger eyes are affecting your decision making power.

She's hundreds of miles away making you feel like a piece of crap with every sentence. Take that power away from her.

This whole unfairness of the game is entirely your fault. Not hers. You are allowing this as if you owe her something. 

Don't even give her a minute of your day. Ignore the f*** out of her for at least 2 weeks. NO CONTACT. 

If I could do it, anyone can.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

you need to stop contacting her period. I hate to tell you, she aint coming back. Sooner you accept it, the sooner you can begin healing. Don't text her friends and family members either. It makes you see very controlling and insecure. If she gets a letter for jury duty or anything else important, so what. It's not your problem.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I hear what people are saying an keep saying. Hard to let someone go without knowing why. So far all I can see was a woman confused that wasn't in a life she wanted. Hard to believe she can't have her time to rethink an become the person she'll need to be either way. She didn't leave for anyone else, or she stopped loving me, she left becuase we had stresses of money issues, lack of time together with her work, an me not helping with chores. I can't accept that is a final end right now. Not with her beating around the bush in her emails about closure. 
I am controlling an insecure. I'm also a good person an can't give her a reason to hate me an justify her leaving. 
I'm still connected to her until we are divorced. I don't want to burn bridges until we are. She has a lot of debt an with jury duty I don't want that coming back on me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

She doesn't need a reason to justify leaving. Her not wanting to be with you is reason enough. That's all it takes. You can't make someone be with you, you can't convince them to be with you. If one person chooses not to be with the other, then there is really nothing you can do about it. It sucks, I know. Been there done that. First step to healing is admitting to yourself it is over and there is nothing you can do about it.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

+1 to what MSC71 said.

plus, i played the "stresses" card too. until somebody pointed out that there are always stresses in marriage. and plenty of marriages thrive under duress. it's not the stresses that define the relationship.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Hi ScottH454 - 

I know this has been a terrible and unexpected blow (I feel the same way about my situation), but I learned we do not have to like something in order to accept it. As others have said, we have zero control over the spouse or how it will play out -- only ourselves and our attitudes. Just take it a day at a time, do what is in front of you to be done, keep things real simple and be very good to yourself. I struggle with the monkey mind, too, but the more I force myself to take my focus off of my marital situation and put my attention elsewhere, the better I feel. You will, too! But you have to force youself into positive action and out of moping. No moping allowed, OK bro?  

Cheers, - A12


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

between the last few posts an this post I think I understand now I have to let her go. Even if she came back now after the 4 years of her lying an dishonesty with me always insecure an suspicious of her every day I could never trust her. Heck I wouldn't even know how a relationship with her would be like with trust since we've never had it. So the person I married an knew is gone and I never can let that woman come back.

So I started getting the divorce papers signed an filled out so I can get them sent to her to sign this week.

I keep thinking back to past girlfriends an what I felt at the end of those relationships. I know they ended, but don't remember it. So if I got past them I can do it again.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

This is not just a relationship... failed marriages scars us deep.. as much as we don't want to admit it.

Don't deny yourself the grieving...


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I have been grieving, but I can't do it forever. I don't think I'm grieving over the loss of my wife, I knew she was a bad messed up woman from the start. It's the loss of someone to keep me company, the loss of knowing I got the family now I am ready to grow old. It's the being alone that is messing me up. I know my wife left to save me, she knew how she treated me was wrong.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

Maybe it's time to start dating again? At least go on ******* and check it out.. it's free so you can just just browse around...


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

ScottH454 said:


> between the last few posts an this post I think I understand now I have to let her go. Even if she came back now after the 4 years of her lying an dishonesty with me always insecure an suspicious of her every day I could never trust her. Heck I wouldn't even know how a relationship with her would be like with trust since we've never had it. So the person I married an knew is gone and I never can let that woman come back.
> 
> So I started getting the divorce papers signed an filled out so I can get them sent to her to sign this week.
> 
> I keep thinking back to past girlfriends an what I felt at the end of those relationships. I know they ended, but don't remember it. So if I got past them I can do it again.



That is why it is so important to concentrate on you. Only you. Time to be selfish and take control of your life and not let someone else dictate the path of your life. I'm sure you and her both had a hand in the end of the relationship. Just use what you have learned to make you a better person and when you do (and I know you will) meet someone you really like, you won't make the same mistakes. That's life. We all make mistakes, wether we learn something from them is the key.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I started going on those sites almost the day she left. Wanted to show myself there is other "fish" out there. Plus figured it help with self esteem to have women interested in me. Got suckered into match subscription thing a girl I winked at sent me a email. Turned out was some older lady tellimg me I must have been through hell. Put in my ad about always being the one dumped, cheated on, left for an ex, outright used, an consider I got played in my marriage.
But I need to get inshape an loose my love handles before I could be confident in dating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I know MSC, I know plenty of people that divorced an are happier in thier new marriages.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

ScottH454 said:


> Put in my ad about always being the one dumped, cheated on, left for an ex, outright used, an consider I got played in my marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi ScottH - Please consider: When you are actually ready to date, DO NOT refer to any negatives from your past experiences, nor talk about any of that stuff on a first or second date -- that will be a turn off for attracting a healthy woman. Remove that stuff from your profile immediately, and re-write it to include a positive outlook and perspective. You can still be working on ridding yourself of past pain, but when meeting new people that is not the side of yourself you want to showcase. You seem like a terrific and and a cutie pie, to boot! Let your awesomeness shine through, and you will magnitize positive, healthy women!

Hugs,- A12


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Well after a week she initiated contact through email again. This time she actually put more effort into it. Not sure how to take it, but doesn't sound like she understands what's going on. If we are divorcing why tell me about your family issues or hope I was ok or expect to talk to me later. Any idea what's going on in her head with this? Is the NC stuff working?

"I haven't heard from you so I thought I would email you.
I hope that you are doing okay.
My grandma has been in the hospital for almost a week. They can't find anything wrong with her but are keeping her. 
I'm sorry that I haven't been very nice or very talkative lately just a lot on my mind.
Where are the divorce papers so that I can sign them and send them back?
Talk to you later."

I'm didn't want to respond till she emails again, this email doesn't warrant a reply to me. She'll get the papers when she gets them, unless she has $300 to file an the next husband waiting whats the big hurry. Yes I have been stalling, want to hold out till the end of next week. Then include a letter stating this is what she wants so she need to take responsibility an pay for the divorce herself an not ask mommy.

I've been doing better lately, made the mental list of the pros an cons of R with her an cons are winning. Yeah being lonely sucks, but that's no reason to get her back.

I also realized today I was lucky she is a WAW in that she left wanting nothing. No divorce battle splitting assets or selling the house. I actually think I'm doing pretty good to have all this stuff still.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

No comments? She hasn't re-emailed an today I've been getting anxious. I know I shouldn't think about it but I still do. Weekends are the hardest for me. Yesterday I got to get out an went to the drag races with the guys. Today it's 4:30 an I've been trying to motivate all morning to get out an go to some stores. Money is super tight so I know I can't tempt myself to spend any an figure why go. 
I think I want to try the snt johns wart again that seemed to help before. I have never been a positive or motivated person so not only am I trying to change to heal from my wife leaving, but changing who I am.
So am I doing good dealing with the wife in not responding an waiting for to email again. I don't really know how to respond anyway. Was stalling the papers so she has more time to think, do I keep that up? Niether of us has the money to file anyway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Sorry it came to that so very quickly, I have only a brief comment --- keep your head up and things will look better soon, hopefully.

And feel free to tell her to file for the divorce, since she wants it. Seriously.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I already paid to have the papers written, thought it was for everything. So the other amount I want to hold her to, it's to much to ask me to be the one to file an pay for it.
I'm trying to be in a better place, it worked for a short time, but weekends arew killing me.
Hope I can get these vitamins to help my mood. So far walgreens buy one get on half off didn't help my mood. Six different brands all same sale, but only between two brands. So of course what I wanted was only in the wrong two brands to get the sale. Pretty stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

speak of the devil just got an email asking if I was gonna respond or not. Think I should this time, but don't know how to be in it. Short an just respond with "You'll get the papers when I send them. Didn't think there was a hurry since you don't have the money to file them."

Or add something more with "Sorry about your grandma, but your divorcing me so (need help with what to put here). Basically want her to hear that I'm not a part of her life, I'm gone that means I'm gone.

Could really use some help in how to respond this time. Whether to keep it simple an "over her" or put some emotion in it. thanks


Edit: think I can answer myself. If I learned anything from TAM it would be she's keeping me on the line with her previous email. So what I need to do is just respond straight up about the papers an that's it. If I showed emotion by responding about her grandma then she'll see I'm still here waiting on her. Right?


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

or, sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning. nothing pressing other than your desire.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Well so much for that, tried to send the simple response email, but it was returned as she closed that email address now. I'm really having a hard time believing in this NC theory. Seems to me it's doing more harm at this point.

Edit: no not deleted, I think she blocked my ip as spam. lol think she didn't like being ignored.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

why would she block you from an email address she'd tried to get a response from you about an hour ago?


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Might not be her that did it, the Spamhaus's list said I was put on it 8 days ago. So I sent one from my free service email address.
After 11 years not running antivirus one finally got me, lol.
Edit again: after further reading it's not even me it's my web hosting company that has the virus. So nothing I can do but wait for them to fix themselves.


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Ok got her responsen can't send it through email from phone yet. So here it is with my respone.

"the heck did i do to you to make you such a hurtful person. i still need a paper from court house, but can send you what i have to sign.*
*i paid to have the papers written up so you'll need to pay to file. you can get your parents to pay like everything else in your life. don't give me that bull**** about being independent, your parents are still raising ther 40 year old daughter.*
find away to get your stuff, after your last email your clearly done with us.

On Aug 13, 2012, Suzanne wrote:
It needs to be filed whether you do it or I do it. Get it started. 

"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

ScottH454 said:


> Ok got her responsen can't send it through email from phone yet. So here it is with my respone.
> 
> "the heck did i do to you to make you such a hurtful person. i still need a paper from court house, but can send you what i have to sign.*
> *i paid to have the papers written up so you'll need to pay to file. you can get your parents to pay like everything else in your life. don't give me that bull**** about being independent, your parents are still raising ther 40 year old daughter.*
> ...



You should not say anything to her other than business stuff about divorce. Your last email was nothing but putting her down and criticizing her. Maybe that was your intent? Regardless , she is done. It's over. Nothing you say or do will change that. Get the divorce over with and stop using money as a reason to delay it. You have to move on. Stop waiting for her to contact you. You truly are not focusing on yourself.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

Hi ScottH454 - 

I think you are doing really well by not responding right away to her email, and I like deejov's suggestion that since she is the one who wants to D, let her take responsibility for it! This was her choice, not yours and you are NOT her doormat! Also, good for you getting out with the guys! I agree, weekends are hard, when adjusting to living alone -- I have struggled with it, too, but found that it really helps so much to pre-arrange some weekend things to do.

As for myself, I have very recently started dating, and I dare say it feels great! Not planning to jump into anything or be physical quickly, just meet some nice guys to go out with, and if a spark develops with someone, well....you never know. Everyone has their process, and I was not sure if I would be "ready" or emotionally available for potential romantic interest someone else, but must admit feels nice to have positive attention from members of the opposite sex ;-) 

Hope you are having a good day, and stay strong! We will all look back eventually, and see that this has been all about growth and becoming happier more centered people  

Cheers, - A12


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Today I mailed her the papers to sign, so making progress. I'm feeling better with it, I know how we where together was not good. So I do need to think of it that way, that I have a chance to find someone else an isn't gonna have all her problems. I think I mention in a post when I joined that I was her 6th husband so odds where against me in the start.
Tonight I went through my backup hard drive to delete "her" from that, it hurt a little to delete videos, pictures, an the wedding folder. But no reason to keep that around.
I never sent that last email I posted, was angry an don't want to go there with her. I'll just not do anything an wait.
Thanks for the positive responses A12. Yeah thinking of it as a learning experiance. Now I won't be so quick to be with a woman just so I'm not lonely.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

Tough times and hard decisions. But some part of this is pulling you forward and looking out for you. You're doing a fine job Scott.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

I heard some lyrics today that I think fit us well. "A broken heart is blind" from the black keys. Don't think they meant it for us in this forum, but it does fit well. With a broken heart I was willing to overlook so much to get my wife back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScottH454 (Jun 3, 2012)

Just sold her car, wow that hurt. Got beat up, but more than I had. Asked $2500 an guy got it for $1560. Sucked for that an to see the car driving away.


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