# thank you morituri



## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

I just wanted to thank morituri who posted this reply several weeks ago. I kept coming back to it, re-reading it and finally understanding why I haven't been able to rid myself of the bitterness I felt after my divorce. Deep down in my heart I was unable to forgive and until I can do that the hurt will continue to eat at me...

These are his words:

What is forgiveness?

For a great many people, it means amnesty for the offender and of the consequences that would befall him/her. The problem with this definition is that it makes the offender the beneficiary while the offended getting nothing in return.

But to others, myself included, forgiveness means to accept - not condone - that what was done cannot be undone and to make peace with it, NOT for the benefit of the offender but for the benefit of the offended. This type of forgiveness does not remove the consequences that would befall the offender.

People who subscribe to the former definition of forgiveness are unable to achieve it because it is an emotionally daunting task. It is also dependent on the offender showing true remorse to the offended for his/her transgression(s) which may or may not be present or ever will be.

But those of us who subscribe to the latter definition, forgiveness is an acknowledgement that no matter what the outcome of the situation with the offender is, that in order for us to move on with our lives is to *make the decision that anger and bitterness are the toxic twins that will forever follow us and poison our lives IF we consciously allow them to. Here, forgiveness is a conscious choice for the benefit of the offended, not the offender.*

I divorced my wife not because I could not forgive her for her affair nor because I no longer loved her, but because at the time it was necessary for me to do so in order to emotionally and psychologically heal myself. And yes, I did forgive her because I subscribe to the latter definition of forgiveness.


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## Anymum (Jun 19, 2011)

Morituri, another thanks from me as well. PM sent.

AM


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Thank you Mrs T and Anymum. I truly hope that those words on forgiveness I posted helped you in your personal healing.

I remember a few years ago, I was watching a televised court room murder trial of a convicted serial killer. I happened to catch the part of when the victim's grieving loved ones were given a chance to address the killer directly prior to sentencing. As was understandable, the majority of the people lashed out at the killer with the general consensus being "I hope you rot in hell for all eternity". The killer maintained his poker face, icy composure until the last of the loved ones got his chance to speak. The man was an older gentleman who started out saying how much he misses his daughter and how the pain of losing her is sometimes too much for him to bear. But he ended his speech with "But as much as I miss my daughter, I know that one day I will be reunited with her through my Lord Jesus Christ who forgave me for my sins. You have earned your sentence but despite the tremendous devastation you have caused me, I choose to forgive you". After he said those last words, the killers cold hearted, icy demeanor CRACKED and he began sobbing uncontrollably like a child. I'm not a religious man but I will never forget that scene of the grieving father and the killer who took the life of his daughter. But most of all I will never forget the power of forgiveness.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

mori,
All of the links you have provided are teriffic, helpful information...the one on forgivness reached out of the screen and slapped me...told me that by letting go of the anger I was healing myself. It's hard to do but it really did help.

BTW...very touching story at the end of your post. I'm sure the last thing the killer expected was forgivness but the poor father had already found his peace in his faith, the faith that teaches forgivness.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I know that many people do not like Oprah, but her definition of forgiveness stuck with me. Forgiveness is when you stop wishing that the past could have been different.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Mrs. T said:


> mori,
> All of the links you have provided are teriffic, helpful information...*the one on forgivness reached out of the screen and slapped me*...told me that by letting go of the anger I was healing myself. It's hard to do but it really did help.


Hopefully it wasn't as painful as what this guy got.










:rofl::lol::rofl::lol:


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

morituri said:


> Hopefully it wasn't as painful as what this guy got.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:smthumbup: You are too funny! Thanks for the graphic imagery...I wish I could pop out of the screen and give Mr. T a slap or two when he is "surfing the net"!! Or maybe my foot up his a**...:rofl:


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

If everyone on here that owed Morituri a big thank you for guidance, wisdom dispersed....the server would crash...God bless morituri.


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