# What I should do to this bxxxx - 10 options to chose!



## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

I have a 'friend' who flirts with my partner heaps!!!
has been going on for some time now... even after we got married.

- laughs really loud and slaps him at his words
- tell him he is her stlye
- Super nice 
- Texting 

............and so on 

P.S My guy knows how i feel and is aware


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

I'd just quietly unfriend her. She makes you uncomfortable. Friends grow apart. Just let her drift away.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Get rid of her. Funny that you did not list that as an option.

She's certainly trying to freeze you out.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tell your man that it bothers you and see his reaction.
if he mimamizes it stand your ground and tell him its not acceptable. 

does he flirt back? if he doesn't then pull her aside and tell her to stop flirting with your man. that its make you uncomfortable if she mimamizes it tell her a true friend would understand and that if she doesn't stop you know where your friend ship stands.

do you flirt with your man? if not start! out flirt her! and see if she ups the flirting and if she does then your man should tell her to back off hes married!


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

essy said:


> I have a 'friend' who flirts with my partner heaps!!!
> has been going on for some time now... even after we got married.
> 
> - laughs really loud and slaps him at his words
> ...


It takes two people to text. Your partner should not respond to any texts from her and block her. If she has anything "important" to say, she can text you and you will respond (or not) accordingly.

Your partner and you should make a special effort to avoid her. When you invite people over, do not include her. When you are out and she is around, ignore her or freeze her out. Both of you. Together. You need to stand united. And since your guy knows how you feel, he should be happy to oblige.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

survivorwife said:


> It takes two people to text. Your partner should not respond to any texts from her and block her. If she has anything "important" to say, she can text you and you will respond (or not) accordingly.
> 
> Your partner and you should make a special effort to avoid her. When you invite people over, do not include her. When you are out and she is around, ignore her or freeze her out. Both of you. Together. You need to stand united. And since your guy knows how you feel, he should be happy to oblige.


Absolutely.... ^^^ You and your husband should be a united front. If not then I would seriously question his concern for you.

I did have a girlfriend who was jealous and so I know what it is like to be with someone like that. I don't think this is you but what do you think? Is it just this one girl or are there others that bother you with their behavior around your man?

Just something to think about.

My choice by the way was number 11 - where you punch her right in the face. No confrontation - just a cold down right sucker punch right to the face. After all that is what she is doing to you every time she comes on to your man...


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Unfriend her. Ask your partner to unfriend her as well. She's nothing, but bad news.


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

The last time a woman (not a close friend, but an acquaintance) flirter with my H, he did nothing. He swears he didn't "want to rock the boat."

So I rocked it. The next time she sat too close, flirted, etc., I came up behind her, put my arm around her and said "You must have forgotten he was married! I believe you're sitting in my seat (next to H)." She got up and moved.

If he won't pee on the proverbial tree, you should. Then have a talk with him about inappropriate activity. Inaction on his part *is* an action.

Note: when she got up and moved, she never came back in any shape, way or form. I also had two trusted friends keep an eye on her just in case. They verified that while she did indeed pull the "Tiki's just jealous of me!" cr*p, she also upheld the boundary I set: "Stay away from my _marriage_."


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## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

Hey Sparky Jim

Ye its just this one girl... never felt so much hatred towards a person ever in my life...

She knows how uncomfortable I feel and yet she continues


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## bevixnz (Nov 22, 2013)

It's probably easier for your other half to tell her to stop as she is your friend not his. But by all means, she needs to be told to back off either way!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

essy said:


> *I have a 'friend' *who flirts with my partner heaps!!!
> has been going on for some time now... even after we got married.
> 
> - laughs really loud and slaps him at his words
> ...


No, you don't have a "friend" in this woman. She is not your friend. Do not kid yourself. Any woman who does something so disrespectful to you and your husband/your marriage is not your friend.

I would have called her on it long ago. "Are you always this flirty with your friends' boyfriends/husbands?" I would have said it in front of him, too.

Your guy is either super passive or into it. It could be either/or. He should put his foot down. 

This chick is NOT your friend.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

TikiKeen said:


> The last time a woman (not a close friend, but an acquaintance) flirter with my H, he did nothing. He swears he didn't "want to rock the boat."
> 
> So I rocked it. The next time she sat too close, flirted, etc., I came up behind her, put my arm around her and said "You must have forgotten he was married! I believe you're sitting in my seat (next to H)." She got up and moved.


Perfecto. I had a "friend" who used to go ga-ga for Mr. Ex-Jelly. Really inappropriate flirting and staring and she came over to our home one day and was touching his thighs!! I started touching his thighs like how she did and looked at her and said "You sure are handsy." She never came back to my house.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

essy said:


> She knows how uncomfortable I feel and yet she continues


The more important question is if why you're still friends with her if she treats you this way? Why is it so hard for you to quietly dump the friendship?


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

essy said:


> Hey Sparky Jim
> 
> Ye its just this one girl... never felt so much hatred towards a person ever in my life...
> 
> She knows how uncomfortable I feel and yet she continues


Well I hope she has a black eye by now...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

My friends flirt with my H, but I'm okay with it. If I wasn't, they wouldn't do it. I like to see my H all red in the face when they flirt with him, it's adorable!

But you are not liking this, and your friend knows this? She is no friend!


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You need to end this "friendship". Why do you continue to socialize with her?


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## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

She is lurking to get into your bed with him. Tell her to take a hike.


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## LoveMy2Boys (Apr 16, 2013)

She needs to get the boot. A united front is the only acceptable option. He needs to say that she is making him uncomfortable, that he is happily married, and that her behavior is unacceptable.


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## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

Thanks everyone! All your comments were really heapful to me x 
I guess i wasn't just being senstive after all! Thought it was just me.. thanks heaps for the advise & comments.
She's got a bf now but she's always had someone by her side and rumor says that she's been bringing along other men to her place & bed while in a relationship. Said by her flatmate who's actually a friend of a friend. Small world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

*helpful* sorry
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I chose other.

There's harmless flirting - which is joking around but not meaning anything by it such as I suspect Anon's friends do to her hubby and then there is boundary crossing.

Since you've told her it bothers you and she continues, she doesn't belong in your life. A real friend respects your boundaries whether or not they agree with them. 

Don't slap her, call her a b!tch or anything of the sort. That stuff is low brow, low class and as an adult, you should behave like one.

The second she crossed the line, your husband should have called her out on it and told her he's married or only his wife should be speaking to him like that. Is it awkward? Yes. But it's also the right thing to do. Doing nothing is seen as an invitation by her to continue. Secondly, he shouldn't be texting your friend back and forth, especially since she's coming on to him.

I would confront her, tell her that you've told her that her behaviour is over the top and disrespectful and since she didn't listen to you, she is no longer considered your friend or a friend of the marriage. Wish her well and send her on her way. 

Don't continue letting people in that can't respect you into your life but don't stoop to their level by resorting to violence or trash-talk. Stay classy (San Diego).


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## Redpill (Mar 20, 2014)

If he won't do anything, then it's up to you to take action. 

Really though, he should be the one to speak up.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> My friends flirt with my H, but I'm okay with it. If I wasn't, they wouldn't do it. I like to see my H all red in the face when they flirt with him, it's adorable!


Lol...I have friends that joke around with my hubby too. Everyone loves Mr Frusdil, he's adorable  But as with AnonPink, if it bothered me, they wouldn't do it.

One friend in particular sweeps into the house announcing to me loudly "I'm having sex with your husband toooooonight!" and then plants a kiss smack on his lips while he stands there, arms firmly at his sides and eyes as wide as saucers looking terrified...it's hilarious! :rofl:


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

TikiKeen said:


> The last time a woman (not a close friend, but an acquaintance) flirter with my H, he did nothing. He swears he didn't "want to rock the boat."
> 
> So I rocked it. The next time she sat too close, flirted, etc., I came up behind her, put my arm around her and said "You must have forgotten he was married! I believe you're sitting in my seat (next to H)." She got up and moved.
> 
> ...


Yes. *Direct and not casual action*. Your H should have distanced himself immediately as well.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

frusdil said:


> One friend in particular sweeps into the house announcing to me loudly "I'm having sex with your husband toooooonight!" and then plants a kiss smack on his lips while he stands there, arms firmly at his sides and eyes as wide as saucers looking terrified...it's hilarious! :rofl:


That would annoy the heck out of me! LOL!


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Fenix said:


> Yes. *Direct and not casual action*. Your H should have distanced himself immediately as well.


It's true. Sometimes the men just don't get it right away do they? 

The wife of my H's friend was very flirtatious towards him until I nipped it in the bud. He said he felt that it was harmless, but once he realized it bothered me, he kept his distance and she got the message.


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## Pinkpetal (Jan 2, 2014)

For me, having a girlfriend flirting with my SO would make me uncomfortable. I just feel it's a no go zone.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Some women are just flirty and vivacious but that doesn't mean they are after him in any way - they may just wish someone LIKE him comes along.

But it is up to your H to tell her to please not text him anymore as it makes him uncomfortable and is inappropriate for a married man. And you should drift away from her. If you are in social situations with her that cannot be avoided, be pleasant but not chummy and if she tries to converse directly with H and not you, I would verbally redirect her to you. Only if she doesn't get the hint would I say to let her know that she's just a tad too flirty with your husband so please socialize elsewhere. 

If she says you are jealous, you can tell her that you are not jealous of HER, but that her actions are those of a woman who is a little too friendly with a married man and you'd appreciate it if she'd respect those boundaries.


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