# Getting Old.



## FirstYearDown

I will be 30 years old this spring. I know that is still quite young, but I am starting to see gray hairs and that scares the sh!t out of me. 

The cartoons of my childhood are called "retro" these days.

I am feeling too old for some of the clothing I used to wear. In my late teens and early twenties, I wore very skimpy outfits in the summer. Now that 30 is around the corner, I just don't feel comfy dressed like a party girl. I don't like jerks leering or trying to pick me up and I am no longer a size 3. 

I don't really share these thoughts with anyone, because it sounds strange for a 30 year old to feel like they aren't so young anymore.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

gawd dam youre old woman! 

sh!t, your still a spring chicken.

the hair may be from stress from something in your life.
but there aint nuthin wrong with that.

just be happy with the life you have now and be glad you have a great guy in it for you.

dont be one of those women who has a panic attack about not being like a teen any more.

youre in a great time in your life now.
just enjoy that and all you do have.


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## EleGirl

That's what hair dye was made for... 


I'm 62. Want to change places?


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## that_girl

People with black hair tend to get grays earlier.

Hubs has some and he's 29...almost 29. 

I'll be 36 this June. Kinda not wanting to celebrate...but thankful for the time I have here on earth to be with my family


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## waiwera

Yep I remember when I was a youngster I wanted to be a famous pop star or an olympic athlete... now I'm old enough to be a pop stars/olympians MOTHER.... sigh.

On the flip side every year I care less and less what other think of me..apart from those who matter, of course.


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## bubbly girl

FirstYearDown said:


> I will be 30 years old this spring. I know that is still quite young, but I am starting to see gray hairs and that scares the sh!t out of me.
> 
> The cartoons of my childhood are called "retro" these days.
> 
> I am feeling too old for some of the clothing I used to wear. In my late teens and early twenties, I wore very skimpy outfits in the summer. Now that 30 is around the corner, I just don't feel comfy dressed like a party girl. I don't like jerks leering or trying to pick me up and I am no longer a size 3.
> 
> I don't really share these thoughts with anyone, because it sounds strange for a 30 year old to feel like they aren't so young anymore.



I agree that what you're feeling is natural. I think the year I turned 30 was one of my best years. By 29 I was feeling old because, as someone in my 20's, I was lumped in the same category as people who were basically still kids. I was an old twenty something. Once I turned 30 I was a young 30 something! LOL If that makes any sense. 

I'll admit that now that I'm in my later 30's, I'm not all that thrilled about turning 40 in a couple of years. Oh, well, I'll get over it. I just try and remind myself that someday when I'm much older I'll be thinking 40 is young.

As far as not liking to dress like a party girl anymore, that probably has more to do with your relationship with your husband. You're happy and content with him and do not want the added attention from other men. You'd probably feel the same way if you were 25.

Try and enjoy your life, whatever age you are. And don't worry too much...it causes wrinkles! LOL


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

I started to get grey hair at 22, now half my hair is grey and I'm in my upper 30's. I highlight it blond, so you really can't tell the difference. Some of the grey hairs are thin and fine, while the others stick straight out, thick and wirery. Luckily for flat irons and good hair products, I can naturally make them flat to my head. Every new hair that is growing is coming in grey this year, now that took me by surprise! I'll start dying my entire head once that happens. I'll probably have to go brown. There are no good color blond hair dyes in the store. Right now I have my hair done at the salon.

My hubby is 45 without a single grey hair. It's so unfair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown

I am relieved that my twenties are over. What a difficult decade! So much to learn about life and love. 

This is not to say that now I know everything because I am nearly 30. I just feel that this new decade will be calmer and happier. There is more confidence, higher self esteem and a clear idea of what I will and will not tolerate. This leads to an easier life.

I am also no longer struggling with learning to be independent. I have paid my dues by living in crappy basement apartments, landlord problems and having crazy roommates. Now I know more about living on my own, so that if I ever need to again, there is experience to draw upon. 

I don't need to dye my hair for a few hairs; I can just pluck them. Seeing them is very sad and scary though. I thought I would have at least five more years until that happened. I am not worried about wrinkles because I don't have a single crease on my face; my parents still have no wrinkles and they are in their sixties. My age only shows in my hair.


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## SimplyAmorous

Grey hair is a genetic thing, some get it earlier than others, I had my very 1st before 20! Yikes , but It wasn't really noticable till my late 30's, then yeah, I think I'd want to crawl under a rock without dye! The hair has nothing to do with the health of your body anyway... thankfully. 

A few years ago, I felt like I was 18 and wanted to dress like a "party girl" to some degree (but kept it at home)... when I was 30, I was dressing like a "Little house on the Prairer "woman, in fact pretty much my whole marraige I dressed like that.... I guess we all go through a WILD phase, mine hit me rather late ! 

Probably good you got it out of your system- at the appropriate age- you'd look even more silly dressing like an 18 yr old when you are in your 40's. I did it anyway, at least at home. Had a little fun with it. 

But yeah, you're still pretty young, wish I could change places with you , my husband is almost 50, his grey hairs held off till about 45, kind of amazed by that , I am noticing them more and more though. 

The 40's have been the Best for us (all my fault), so feeling young can come upon you with a vengence as you grow older even.... my experience anyway. Unlike Trenton, I wish I could stop time right now, and hold it . Soon I'll be making quilts and going to Bingo I guess. I don't know.

You sound like you have a good attitude anyway about your future, just keep plucking those grey hairs ! We were all there.


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## chillymorn

I think grey hair on a women is sexy it shows that she has some experiance and confidence to be who she is and accept her self.

espically if she is in good physical shape.

funny my wife started greying in her 20"s and I'm just starting to get alittle grey and i'm 45.


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## Thewife

I m 36 and don't have any grey but H is 44 and has lots of grey hair ever since I know him........so grey hair is not a bad sign of ageing for me, its experience and sexy to me. Keep thinking young and you'll be young numbers doesn't matter


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## SimplyAmorous

Here is a very informative write up about grey hair - the facts, the falsehoods....in case anyone is interested...

What Causes Gray Hair?

.


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## Enchantment

Can I trade with you? 

I'll be 48 on my next birthday, and I would much rather be 30 again - as the 30's were great, but the 40's have all been a big pain. 

I'll just have to believe Robert Browning when he said "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be."


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## Hope1964

I am 47 and have never dyed my hair! It's still mostly dark brown but there are too many greys to pull now. A decade ago there weren't - hubby used to pull them out every few weeks, I remember him doing it before our wedding.

I remember feeling old when my 30th birthday was looming. Looking back now it was silly for me to feel that way, but there you are. It was very real then, and I commiserate with you, FirstYearDown


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## COGypsy

I joke (sort of) all the time that grey hair and age in general is just one more condition that I manage!

I take my meds for my thyroid.
I take my meds for my bipolar.
I watch my diet and my sleep.
I go to the dentist every 6 months.
I have my hair colored every six weeks, my forehead "refreshed" every 3 months and various waxes, peels and scrubs in between.

It's just nature. It's what you get out and do in the meantime that matters!


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## Almostrecovered

ah shaddup, 30 aint old, in fact for a woman your sexual peak is just about hit in the next few years, so enjoy and don't go cheatin'

now me, I'm old, I'll be 42 in 2 months. My pubes are going grey for chrissakes!!


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## Jellybeans

Oh no, get her headstone ready... time to throw a funeral since the old bat is turning DIRTY THIRTY.

Hehe, just kidding FirstYear.  Happy early birthday!


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## applelemon

I had grey hairs since I was about 15 or 16. I'm now in my late 20s and I have grey hairs primarily in the middle. I would pull them but there are just so many, I just pull them if it becomes noticeable. 

I understand what you mean about it showing your age because I look young for my age, but when I style my hair a certain way, all my greys in the middle become "shown to all"

As for being old, I think that's a natural feeling like everyone else is saying. My friend turned 30 last year, a good way to go through it is just keep yourself young. She doesn't go around to people ane mention she's thirty, that's for her to know and others to take a while to find out. She just acts like herself, age is just a number.


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## heartsbeating

Turning 30 was my best celebration yet!! I was hesitant about that year too but when it hit, and those years that immediately followed, were full of positive growth, confidence, accomplishments (in various aspects of life) and FUN. A wonderful time.

I had hesitation again of the milestone I just reached, which was 35. And yet on my birthday, I felt so incredibly humbled and blessed for the little things that mean so much. I thought over what's happened in my life in the last 5 years; considered the changes I've made as a person; then started thinking what I'd like to look back on from this time when I reach 40 (if I'm lucky enough to still be here). I don't make 5 year plans, but I do like to consider if I'm looking back from then, how might I see myself, how might I see my life? From there, I put into place changes to get there. Of course life always has a plan of it's own, so it's always a rough sketch, subject to change at any moment.

As for clothing and such, a couple of months ago, I was in the city wearing heels and I noticed a couple guys look my way as I passed.... [I seem to 'notice' these moments when I'm approaching a birthday milestone I'm feeling funky about. So it happens every 5 years or so lol]. Anyway, I mentally rolled my eyes and then an older lady, with sensible "old lady" shoes was walking in front of me and I thought, one day I might not be able to wear shoes that show off slender ankles. If I'm even fortunate enough to be on this planet long enough. One day I might not notice the glances. And I enjoyed walking in my nice heels and appreciating that I'm at an age whereby I can still wear them and not look ridiculous. One day I will be at an age where ankles and slipping on a nice heel isn't important to me. I normally prefer chuck taylors on a normal day anyhow, but still, just enjoy it all FYD


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## Conrad

The "5" birthdays are so much worse.

You can no longer say "early to mid"

AND... you have to use the next checkbox on the demographic thing when you do a questionnaire.


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## heartsbeating

^ thanks Conrad. Just when I was starting to feel better about 35.


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## FirstYearDown

Jellybeans said:


> Oh no, get her headstone ready... time to throw a funeral since the old bat is turning DIRTY THIRTY.
> 
> Hehe, just kidding FirstYear.  Happy early birthday!


Old bat?? Go away, you whippersnapper! And pass me my cane!

Have to go to the early bird special for the dinner buffet at 4PM.:rofl::rofl:

I love my TAM lady crew. :smthumbup:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

FirstYearDown said:


> Have to go to the early bird special for the dinner buffet at 4PM.:rofl::rofl:
> 
> I love my TAM crew. :smthumbup:


i fixed your last sentence 

another 2 or 3 years and you will have to be hitting the 3pm dinners. but you will need your wheel chair.


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## that_girl

Everytime I see this thread, my heart stops.

I'll be 36.

I was fine with 30, 31, 32, 33...there was a sophistication that was better than 29,28, etc.

But...36....holy shet.

I'm not ready!

I still think I'm 25.....but my body knows better LOL!


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## isla~mama

I'm in my 30s and loving it.  I dress much more conservatively than I used to but am more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was as a teen or in my 20s. I'm looking forward to 40s and beyond. Getting older has never bothered me. You'll be fine!!


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## FirstYearDown

Maybe if I didn't see grey hair, it wouldn't be so hard?

I love the wisdom of leaving my twenties.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

FirstYearDown said:


> Maybe if I didn't see grey hair, it wouldn't be so hard?


thats easy enough to fix


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## that_girl

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> thats easy enough to fix


Shave!


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

that_girl said:


> Shave!


:rofl:

thats right.


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## bellamaxjoy

I am 48,physically things aren't quite the same, but I love my 40's!! My kids are grown, hub is 51, I am 48. We bought our second Harley in our life(sold the first one when kids came). Life is good, we enjoy each other and our kids. Celebrate every age.


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## Freak On a Leash

FirstYearDown said:


> I will be 30 years old this spring. I know that is still quite young, but I am starting to see gray hairs and that scares the sh!t out of me.
> 
> I am feeling too old for some of the clothing I used to wear. In my late teens and early twenties, I wore very skimpy outfits in the summer. Now that 30 is around the corner, I just don't feel comfy dressed like a party girl. I don't like jerks leering or trying to pick me up and I am no longer a size 3.


:rofl::lol: Time to dye it. Two colors. And put a few earrings in your ear for good measure. 

Yes, that would be me and I'm a lot older than you. I don't feel old. I'm in as good as shape as I was 20 years ago. Probably better. I wear the same size clothes (yes, that would be a Size 3) as my 17 year old daughter and listen to the same music. Not to prove that I am "young" but because I like it. I never allow myself to get stuck in the past or think that I have to act or think a certain way because of how old I am. I dress the way I want to dress because I LIKE it. People compliment me on how I dress and look and the ones who think it's foolish can stick it where the sun doesn't shine. 

The good thing about getting older is that you really don't CARE what other people think because you have acquired the maturity and confidence to realize that (to quote Linkin Park) "In the end it doesn't even matter". 

Age is a state of mind. Just imagine that in 20 years you'll be saying "Damn, I sure wish I was 30 again". 

Do what you want, act as you want and be what you want BECAUSE you want to, not because of how old you are. 

Let's see since I was 30 I have raced cars, 4 wheeled in my Jeep Wrangler, driven all over the country, hiked, scrambled up rocks, camped, kayaked, skied (yeah, that was last weekend!) , gone to see more concerts than I can remember and drank a lot of really good beer (that would be the weekend before last!).


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## shy_guy

FirstYearDown said:


> Maybe if I didn't see grey hair, it wouldn't be so hard?
> 
> I love the wisdom of leaving my twenties.


Women worry about their hair turning grey.

Men don't mind if their hair turns gray, they just don't want it to turn loose.


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## Stonewall

At 52 I would give anything to be able to go back with what I know now. Me and my wife 30 again without the sexual repression? Whooooo Hoooooo. Or as we say down here YEEEEEE Hawwwwwww!

One other point, When guys try to pick you up or stare at you; take it as a complement. They don't do that to ugly girls honey! Yeah I know you don't want any part of them but take the compliment and own it. Its great for your self esteem if you let it be!


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## Halien

What's bad is feeling old enough that my 30th birthday was in the same old bucket as the college memories. I do remember that my wife was significantly gray then, and had learned all about coloring. She stopped recently for a while, in our forties, but then resumed with the coloring.


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## Jellybeans

that_girl said:


> I still think I'm 25.....but my body knows better LOL!


:lol:

You're funny. 

My grandmother has always told me that the 40s are the absolute best. I am just past my thirtieth year and feel more like a woman now than I ever have. I have better sense of myself, I feel more mature, more responsible and just in general... like a woman. It's great.


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## FirstYearDown

Stonewall said:


> At 52 I would give anything to be able to go back with what I know now. Me and my wife 30 again without the sexual repression? Whooooo Hoooooo. Or as we say down here YEEEEEE Hawwwwwww!
> 
> One other point, When guys try to pick you up or stare at you; take it as a complement. They don't do that to ugly girls honey! Yeah I know you don't want any part of them but take the compliment and own it. Its great for your self esteem if you let it be!


I wish I could back and have a long chat with myself at age 20. I would have told that naive little waif to learn to love herself more and stop placing so much stock in pleasing others.

I suppose it is a compliment to be hit on.  

I just don't like that kind of attention from anyone else except my husband. Since I don't want fools trying to get my number, there is no reason to dress to arouse their interest. When I see an older person dressing like they are half their age, I feel sorry for them because styles look different on people of varying ages. If I wore clothes meant for women who are 50+, I would look drab. Same goes for too far in the other direction.

Dressing for Your Age - Oprah.com

Glad that some of us have remained the same size.  Strangely, I feel sexier with all my curves than I did when I had small boobs and no @ss.


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## SimplyAmorous

Stonewall said:


> At 52 I would give anything to be able to go back with what I know now. Me and my wife 30 again without the sexual repression? Whooooo Hoooooo. Or as we say down here YEEEEEE Hawwwwwww!


There is the parallel again Stonewall - Ha ha - That'd be us too !


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## Therealbrighteyes

Not to rain on the fun parade but here goes. 30th birthday I was so sad and upset that all the things I had wanted to achieve hadn't happened. My husband was trying to be supportive but he couldn't since he had accomplished so much and really didn't know what it felt like to be a failure, albeit only in my mind. I went to bed at 7:00 pm crying feeling sorry for myself.
Next morning I go to work. I am on the phone with a dear friend/business associate as the Towers were hit. I was the last person to talk to him. 
I look back on my 30th and think what a selfish person I was. Just breathtakingly selfish. Embrace all birthdays. You are still here and many, many are not. You get to live and enjoy so much and boy oh boy was that a wakeup for me. You are turning 30!!!! Love it and live it!!!!!!


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## memyselfandi

I felt old when I turned 25..lol, and now I'm pushing 50!!

You'll have times like this when your body starts throwing all sorts of punches at you..and someone else will always be younger..just remember..someone else will also always be older! 

The older I get, the more I stop fighting it. Age gracefully and be comfortable in your own skin. I see people my age and younger that fight it day after day and unless you've got a fantastic plastic surgeon and tons of Botox (and whatever else it is that keeps all the movie stars looking younger and younger these days)..to me it looks ridiculous!!

As your body ages, you're going to get curves where you didn't have them before..wrinkles will appear where they weren't before, your boobs will no longer stay where you put them 5 minutes ago, and you'll be plucking hairs out of all kinds of strange places..but it gives a person character. I'm not saying that a person should just let themselves go..we should all try to eat right and take care of ourselves but there are some people out there that just refuse to let nature take it's course.

A nice glowing tan looks great but I've seen people that spend so much time in a tanning bed that their faces and skin look like a piece of old shoe leather. They try to cram themselves in jeans like their daughters while their guts hang out the front and their butts hang out the back. 

I have a friend like this and although I love her dearly, I just want to say to her, "Age gracefully" as she continues to want to make herself appear 20 years younger. Her hair is down to the middle of her back just like it was in high school and she wears it like a teenager. She drives a fancy convertible car, tans like a fiend, and if I could be honest with her, I'd just tell her to again..please age gracefully as she has a heart of gold..but doing what she's doing..it just makes her look soo damned much older.

I just wish that women like this would take into account that sometime in life, we DO become our mothers..gray hair and all. My mom was beautiful (RIP Mom!!) as her hair turned gray, and her body became softer and curvier. She wore her "Grandma loves her Grandkids" sweatshirts proudly, cooked in the kitchen and wore aprons. She wore a girdle to keep it all in place and there were times I caught her plucking the stray hairs from her face...(gee..I gotta quit being so poetic..lol).

But she was beautiful. 

Life is quite the journey and it leaves all kinds of little marks on us that give us character as we grow older. Accept those marks as marks of character..age spots and all.


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## 2sick

that_girl said:


> People with black hair tend to get grays earlier.
> 
> Hubs has some and he's 29...almost 29.
> 
> I'll be 36 this June. Kinda not wanting to celebrate...but thankful for the time I have here on earth to be with my family


Yup!!! Actually I inherited what I thought, at 17, was a cool trait from my father...graying early...Now (at 45..today) I just dye my hair every two months!!:rofl::rofl:

If we are lucky we get to grow old!! I say enjoy each day that you have been given and live life to the fullest with whatever circumstance! Life is truly too short to worry about what you used to be or used to do...Just go and do what you can TODAY and like that girl said be thankful!!!


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## Runs like Dog

Age and Treachery beats Youth and Enthusiasm every time.


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## Freak On a Leash

FirstYearDown said:


> Glad that some of us have remained the same size.  Strangely, I feel sexier with all my curves than I did when I had small boobs and no @ss.


Who says I have no boobs or ass?  

As far as dressing. I say to dress as you feel comfortable dressing. Don't be something you aren't. However, I'm amazed at how many women, when they hit middle age, dress like they are hitting OLD age.

Getting older doesn't mean you have to get frumpy and dumpy. So many women my age let themselves go. Their main wardrobe consists of sweatpants, they no longer wear make up and don't know where the nearest hair stylist is. That's fine if you LIKE being that way but don't let yourself go and then complain that you feel like crap or aren't feeling as attractive as you did 10 years ago. 

I have a friend who is 50. She used to be a pretty sharp dresser. Now she wears old lady jeans and sweatshirts. Her hair just hangs down and she never puts on make up and complains that men don't find her attractive! :rofl:

I tried to talk to her about this. Told her to get some stylish clothes, put some make up on and offered to take her to my hair stylish to get a blunt cut and some highlights. That's when she said "But I like the way I am." OK fine! But don't complain in the next breath that you feel unattractive and old! 

You can dress sharp and take care of yourself and throw a bit of pizzaz and funk in to spice things up. 

That said, I'm not big on middle aged women who dress like slu*ts They look like idiots IMO. You can be sexy and appealing without looking like you are "cougar on the prowl".


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## thalia

Freak On a Leash said:


> :rofl::lol: Time to dye it. Two colors. And put a few earrings in your ear for good measure.
> 
> Yes, that would be me and I'm a lot older than you. I don't feel old. I'm in as good as shape as I was 20 years ago. Probably better. I wear the same size clothes (yes, that would be a Size 3) as my 17 year old daughter and listen to the same music. Not to prove that I am "young" but because I like it. I never allow myself to get stuck in the past or think that I have to act or think a certain way because of how old I am. I dress the way I want to dress because I LIKE it. People compliment me on how I dress and look and the ones who think it's foolish can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
> 
> The good thing about getting older is that you really don't CARE what other people think because you have acquired the maturity and confidence to realize that (to quote Linkin Park) "In the end it doesn't even matter".
> 
> Age is a state of mind. Just imagine that in 20 years you'll be saying "Damn, I sure wish I was 30 again".
> 
> Do what you want, act as you want and be what you want BECAUSE you want to, not because of how old you are.
> 
> Let's see since I was 30 I have raced cars, 4 wheeled in my Jeep Wrangler, driven all over the country, hiked, scrambled up rocks, camped, kayaked, skied (yeah, that was last weekend!) , gone to see more concerts than I can remember and drank a lot of really good beer (that would be the weekend before last!).


There ya go! I turned 40 this year and feel better than I ever did in my 30s! I totally agree with all of this post. Life is just too short!!


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## OhGeesh

The aging process sucks that's my opinion. Gray is nothing just dye it......it's 100% genetic anyway.


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## waiwera

OhGeesh said:


> The aging process sucks that's my opinion. .


Really...even when you consider the alternative?


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## OhGeesh

waiwera said:


> Really...even when you consider the alternative?


Growing old sucks and the alternative is the worst part!!!!! I hate knowing that one day I won't be able to run, jump, play sports, that one day I'll be frail, weak, my wife says I have major issues in the dept. and she is right I do!!

I say put my brain on a computer I'll live forever


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## waiwera

OhGeesh said:


> Growing old sucks and the alternative is the worst part!!!!! I hate knowing that one day I won't be able to run, jump, play sports, that one day I'll be frail, weak, my wife says I have major issues in the dept. and she is right I do!!
> 
> I say put my brain on a computer I'll live forever


Ewww...what a thought!
Bit like the matrix!

No... nature intended us to become compost or ash.

Just keep doing the running and the sports... keep moving your body, everyday, it's built for it.
I'm sure the more you do...the more you CAN do!


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## OhGeesh

waiwera said:


> Ewww...what a thought!
> Bit like the matrix!
> 
> No... nature intended us to become compost or ash.
> 
> Just keep doing the running and the sports... keep moving your body, everyday, it's built for it.
> I'm sure the more you do...the more you CAN do!


Well, the digital part is coming believe it or not!!


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## valven

Greetings everyone, I'm a new member


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## FirstYearDown

Freak On a Leash said:


> Who says I have no boobs or ass?
> 
> As far as dressing. I say to dress as you feel comfortable dressing. Don't be something you aren't. However, I'm amazed at how many women, when they hit middle age, dress like they are hitting OLD age.
> 
> Getting older doesn't mean you have to get frumpy and dumpy. So many women my age let themselves go. Their main wardrobe consists of sweatpants, they no longer wear make up and don't know where the nearest hair stylist is. That's fine if you LIKE being that way but don't let yourself go and then complain that you feel like crap or aren't feeling as attractive as you did 10 years ago. :iagree: I don't like frumpy clothes at all. I never wear sweatpants and I wear makeup much more often than I did before; it makes a huge difference.
> 
> I have a friend who is 50. She used to be a pretty sharp dresser. Now she wears old lady jeans and sweatshirts. Her hair just hangs down and she never puts on make up and complains that men don't find her attractive! :rofl: Ugh! I've never had this problem.
> 
> I tried to talk to her about this. Told her to get some stylish clothes, put some make up on and offered to take her to my hair stylish to get a blunt cut and some highlights. That's when she said "But I like the way I am." OK fine! But don't complain in the next breath that you feel unattractive and old!
> 
> You can dress sharp and take care of yourself :iagree: and throw a bit of pizzaz and funk in to spice things up.
> 
> That said, I'm not big on middle aged women who dress like slu*ts They look like idiots IMO. You can be sexy and appealing without looking like you are "cougar on the prowl".This is what I meant in my last post.


I wasn't talking about you when I mentioned having more boobs and ass. I was _clearly _talking about MYSELF.


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## FirstYearDown

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Not to rain on the fun parade but here goes. 30th birthday I was so sad and upset that all the things I had wanted to achieve hadn't happened. My husband was trying to be supportive but he couldn't since he had accomplished so much and really didn't know what it felt like to be a failure, albeit only in my mind. I went to bed at 7:00 pm crying feeling sorry for myself.
> Next morning I go to work. I am on the phone with a dear friend/business associate as the Towers were hit. I was the last person to talk to him.
> I look back on my 30th and think what a selfish person I was. Just breathtakingly selfish. Embrace all birthdays. You are still here and many, many are not. You get to live and enjoy so much and boy oh boy was that a wakeup for me. You are turning 30!!!! Love it and live it!!!!!!


I have experienced the deaths of more than 12dear people in my short life; one of them lost to brutal murder, one from AIDS and another a nine year old child. Believe me, being grateful for life is not the issue here. I don't think I deserve to be admonished for experiencing what seems like normal feelings based on this thread.


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## Therealbrighteyes

FirstYearDown said:


> I have experienced the deaths of more than 12dear people in my short life; one of them lost to brutal murder, one from AIDS and another a nine year old child. Believe me, being grateful for life is not the issue here. I don't think I deserve to be admonished for experiencing what seems like normal feelings based on this thread.


I think you misunderstood me. What I was saying is you are so much better off than you know. Turning 30 is awesome and that we are all here to have another birthday is something we should celebrate. I was pointing out that I had a wake up call of epic purportions and I apologize that my tone came across as admonishment.


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## Runs like Dog

Probably a chick thing. Women no doubt feel that bio clock ticking a lot louder than men do.


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## FirstYearDown

Runs like Dog said:


> Probably a chick thing. Women no doubt feel that bio clock ticking a lot louder than men do.


:lol::lol::lol: You're so funny; talking about the bio clock for a childfree woman.


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## Runs like Dog

FirstYearDown said:


> :lol::lol::lol: You're so funny; talking about the bio clock for a childfree woman.


Oh I don't think the bio clock is a just child thing. You ladies seem to feel age a lot harder than we do. Always looking over your shoulder for a younger hotter you coming up behind. Men? we're worried about richer guys not hotter younger ones.


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## memyselfandi

Even though you're still very young....age gracefully!!

My worst birthday party was my 25th, while my best friend threw me the party of my life. Although I appreciated it....I felt really really old that day!!

I'm now 49 and close to pushing 50. 25 years later I've learned to appreciate the fact that I can't fight "old" anymore as my body changes, hairs grow out of all kinds of strange places (eww!!)..and I'm gradually becoming my mother..who was the most beautiful mom and grandma on the face of this earth!!

All I can say to you is...enjoy your youth. Your body won't always be what you want it to be anymore as it changes..but don't fight it. Instead..do what you can to stay healthy..and just take it all in stride as it changes. We all become our mothers someday..and that's a good thing~~!!


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## SimplyAmorous

OhGeesh said:


> Growing old sucks and the alternative is the worst part!!!!! I hate knowing that one day I won't be able to run, jump, play sports, that one day I'll be frail, weak, my wife says I have major issues in the dept. and she is right I do!!


Your post made me think of this :










I don't like getting older either. They say it is all in our head, I can live with this- sounds good! I still feel really young, I can talk to younger people like I am right along there with them, though I hate Rap music. 

My dad's health is falling apart in his 60's, I do like the way he & my step Mom handle it, they are never "down", they seem to be able to laugh & near make fun of the things that befall them, doesn't stop them from traveling, boating, camping & living it up - I see a healthy attitude embracing what comes no matter what, if they have to hobble their way to get somewhere, they will - with a smile on their face ! ...not depression, wallowing, giving up on life...just living the best you can despite what comes. 

But I could still see me hanging something like this on my living room wall when I am 70!


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## Goldmember357

FirstYearDown said:


> I will be 30 years old this spring. I know that is still quite young, but I am starting to see gray hairs and that scares the sh!t out of me.
> 
> The cartoons of my childhood are called "retro" these days.
> 
> I am feeling too old for some of the clothing I used to wear. In my late teens and early twenties, I wore very skimpy outfits in the summer. Now that 30 is around the corner, I just don't feel comfy dressed like a party girl. I don't like jerks leering or trying to pick me up and I am no longer a size 3.
> 
> I don't really share these thoughts with anyone, because it sounds strange for a 30 year old to feel like they aren't so young anymore.


congratulations you are older and 30 years have past by 30 years have past and lets hope you got all that you desired to this point. If not than oh well there are worse things in life that can happen to you.

it happens to everyone its part of the cycle of life and death.


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## metalb

I think at 30 your feelings are quite normal. I felt the same thing in my 30s. I am now 44 and I've never felt younger or more in my prime. Age is only a number, you're as old as you feel!


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## FirstYearDown

Runs like Dog said:


> Oh I don't think the bio clock is a just child thing. You ladies seem to feel age a lot harder than we do. Always looking over your shoulder for a younger hotter you coming up behind. Men? we're worried about richer guys not hotter younger ones.


I am eight years my husband's junior, so I am never insecure about him trading up for younger model. 

I do agree that many wives worry about a younger woman taking their hubbies away...just not this wife.

There are good things about turning 30. I like myself more than I ever did because my self perception is no longer twisted by abuse. I no longer allow my mother to control my life with guilt and shaming. I have enough confidence to stand up to people that try to use me or take advantage in some way. I also refuse to keep negative influences in my life, such as jealous "friends". 

When I turned twenty, I was horribly naive and sheltered with no self esteem. A manipulative and controlling older man saw these limitations and used them against me. I spent two years being pushed into sexual acts I didn't want, as well as being emotionally abused. The worst part was I found him HIDEOUS; this fool had skinny legs with a huge belly and he was short. I could only be physical with him when he badgered me into it-it is so hard to sleep with someone who is ugly. Sadly, I didn't think I deserved any better. 

If I was single as this stage in my life, I would have walked away on the first date without even batting an eye.


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## that_girl

I don't worry about hubs leaving for a younger woman...or else he would have married a younger woman 

Not someone like me, 7 years older


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## Runs like Dog

Famous.Last.Words.


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## suesmith

Now your twenty-something friends wont trust you anymore! 




(If that doesnt make any sense, ignore it... Its an old joke)


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## Freak On a Leash

FirstYearDown said:


> I wasn't talking about you when I mentioned having more boobs and ass. I was _clearly _talking about MYSELF.


One acquires a sense of humor as they age. Which is a good thing.  

Yeah, I KNOW that you were referring to yourself but I was trying to inject some humore into the situation by being funny, facetious, humorous, flippant, etc, etc, etc...

Have a few drinks and lighten up. You'll live longer.


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## tacoma

suesmith said:


> Now your twenty-something friends wont trust you anymore!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> (If that doesnt make any sense, ignore it... Its an old joke)


Yes and if you get it you are old.


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## Freak On a Leash

Runs like Dog said:


> Oh I don't think the bio clock is a just child thing. You ladies seem to feel age a lot harder than we do. Always looking over your shoulder for a younger hotter you coming up behind. Men? we're worried about richer guys not hotter younger ones.


That's cuz women go for the BUCKS and men go for the BOOBS and BUTTOCKS! 

Plus, there's a lot of societal pressure for women to look young and hot. No one is harder on women then a fellow female. 

The other night my husband and I were watching a program about all the captains on _Star Trek_. It was interesting to see how they all aged. Some aged better than others but I was REALLY horrified to see how badly the sole female captain (Captain Janeway in _Star Trek: Enterprise_) had aged. 

She looked terrible and I said something like "Wow, she's only 8 years older than me and looks like she's another decade beyond that? Why doesn't she go on a diet, go to the gym and do something with her hair?"

My husband laughed and said "You women are your own worst enemy. I'm glad I'm not a woman because damn, you are hard on each other." 

Well, it's true. Men seem to age more gracefully than women. It seems that you really got to WORK hard to look great the older you get if you are a female and we are indeed our own worst critic. Another example of Mother Nature's sick sense of humor. It's probably because Mother Nature is a woman too.


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## SabrinaLovesJeff

I am going thru the same thing. especially since my fiance is 25. I feel so ugly and old compared to his 21 yr old peers. Its very depressing and my insecurities are growing by the hour. I need help


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## HazelGrove

Yes, you're ancient. One day you'll be in your mid-40s like me, a real old crumbly. And then you might as well give up and wear dentures and walk with a stick and complain about youth 

Or not!

Because really, you're only as old as you act and feel. Do some sport, eat well, cover up those grey hairs with dye, laugh a lot and stay young in your outlook and you'll remain sprightly and young at heart - as well as physically younger than you fear. Every age has its joys - discover them and enjoy them, and you'll love your life. And nothing is more vibrant and attractive than someone who loves life.


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## Complexity

Meh, we'll all get there some day. As is life. 

The funny thing is when i was a kid, I would sit and wonder how would I be able to survive and make it on my own in this world. I remember looking at this homeless man and thinking, can you imagine the years upon years of him just struggling to live. Once my parents pass away and all the security they provided goes with them, would that be my fate too? Mind you I grew up in a very impoverished household so there allusions of having this comfortable life ahead of me or an inheritance for me to fall back on. 

I think as the years go by it gives me a sense of comfort in a way, that I made it on my own and can continue to make it.


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## FirstYearDown

Freak On a Leash said:


> One acquires a sense of humor as they age. Which is a good thing.
> 
> Yeah, I KNOW that you were referring to yourself but I was trying to inject some humore into the situation by being funny, facetious, humorous, flippant, etc, etc, etc...
> 
> Have a few drinks and lighten up. You'll live longer.


I have a wonderful sense of humour, my dear. 

Since I cannot hear your voice or see your face, it is hard to tell.

Drinks? No thanks, I have weed. :rofl:


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## KaTieM

I will be 42 this month, age is just a number, you're only as old as you feel and act. I look and act about 33-35 and am athletic(go to the gym, walk 3 miles every morning, race dirtbikes), I dress in modern type jeans(faded boot cut type),mostly t-shirts and hoodies and sport a kinda long ponytail in a ball hat almost every day. I am getting more and more grey hair, but do not plan on dying it. 

I agree with being in the prime of my life in my 40's, love it. I am very comfortable and confident with myself, and know what I want in bed and am not afraid to let it be known or use toys on myself to achieve climax, best ever feeling! Downside is, I am horny as hell and in a dead sexless marriage(19 years) with a man almost 9 years older than me who is 50 going on 60, looks, acts, and health wise. Freakin sucks. 

Honestly, my biggest fear is going through menopause and losing my desire for sex in my late 40's. I sincerely hope that does not happen, hoping staying active helps fend that off.


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## that_girl

I don't compete with other women. I'm just naturally hot.



whut.


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## sisters359

Conrad said:


> The "5" birthdays are so much worse.
> 
> You can no longer say "early to mid"


The "5s" are "late early" years. At 35, one is in their "late early 30s." Same for 9s, sort of; 39 is your "late mid 30s." It's all a matter of perspective 

Despite coming up with this way of talking about my age, I really never cared about getting older until I hit 50--and now, I'm almost 53. 10 days from tomorrow, in fact! 50 was really tough!

I think that being fully engaged in what is going on in your life NOW is the key to not worrying about aging. That way, there is no time or incentive to look back.

Another thing--as I've been approaching 53, I kept thinking, "Oh, my, 83 is only 30 years away!" But then I thought, wait--that's how long it has been since I was 23! Wow, that was a LIFETIME ago!!" So this has helped me gain perspective. 

And, just for the record, I went to college with a kid who was full-on gray haired at that age. It is genetics, nothing more. And if your body isn't spending resources (energy, molecules, etc.) on coloring your hair, it has more energy and resources for other things. So color your hair if you want, or don't. It is no reflection on who you are--that comes from inside you.

Good luck, OP!


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## FirstYearDown

:lol::lol::lol::lol: I love that. Thanks.

No hair down below...keep that shaved for my hubby.


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## Freak On a Leash

KaTieM said:


> I will be 42 this month, age is just a number, you're only as old as you feel and act. I look and act about 33-35 and am athletic(go to the gym, walk 3 miles every morning, race dirtbikes), I dress in modern type jeans(faded boot cut type),mostly t-shirts and hoodies and sport a kinda long ponytail in a ball hat almost every day. I am getting more and more grey hair, but do not plan on dying it.
> 
> I agree with being in the prime of my life in my 40's, love it. I am very comfortable and confident with myself, and know what I want in bed and am not afraid to let it be known or use toys on myself to achieve climax, best ever feeling! Downside is, I am horny as hell and in a dead sexless marriage(19 years) with a man almost 9 years older than me who is 50 going on 60, looks, acts, and health wise. Freakin sucks.
> 
> Honestly, my biggest fear is going through menopause and losing my desire for sex in my late 40's. I sincerely hope that does not happen, hoping staying active helps fend that off.


Wait a minute..this is MY post? Are you my long lost clone? :rofl:

Oh well..I do dye my hair and it's cut short. It's two different colors. I can't make up my mind.


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## Freak On a Leash

FirstYearDown said:


> I have a wonderful sense of humour, my dear.
> 
> Since I cannot hear your voice or see your face, it is hard to tell.
> 
> Drinks? No thanks, I have weed. :rofl:



Yeah, this whole internet, not seeing each other face to face rather sucks. It's not WHAT you say but how you say it but since you can only read and not hear...well..It makes for a somewhat confusing scenario at times. :scratchhead: 

Weed? Well that stuff mellows me out and makes me hungry and tired, both which I do fine on my own. Oh well. To each his own. 

I guess I'll have one for you.. :toast:


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