# I've been horrible to my husband, what can I do to fix it now?



## lola09 (Oct 16, 2010)

*GENTLEMEN, PLEASE ADVISE!!*

Being alone the past few days with him calling it quits before he left has really given me time to think about all the wrong I've been doing. 

I'm genuinely saddened and heartbroken when I step back and look at the way I've been treating my husband the past few weeks. He's tried hard to show me he's a changed man...and I took it for granted. 

I had to look deep inside myself and realize that I'm in the wrong and I want him to forgive me and give me another chance to prove to him that I love him more than my life. He's my world, he really is. I love him. 

What can I tell him? He says he's heard it all before, but I'm certain this time it's different. He really gave me a wake up call this time!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Give him space, and give him time, let him come back to you-don't rush him.


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## Franklin Tank (Oct 18, 2010)

In my opinion i dont think you should give him too much room. Guys i think tend to be more logical and if he says that hes leaving then there is a high chance (note i didnt say 100% chance) that he has made his decision. what i think you should do is talk to him but not to much. talk to him about what HE wants you to do to fix your relationship. If his requests seem like their impossible then let him know and come up with a middle ground but remember to take it slow. Tell him that you know hes heard it before and that your not prommising him anything but if he gives you the chance you will SHOW him a better reationship (Men are visually stimulated, if you tell him youll show him he'll take it into higher consideration). Good luck, I hope you ment it when you said your certain about this time.


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## ShuttleDIK (Oct 18, 2010)

Without specifics, it's hard to know what to say. But it is refreshing to see that post title! lol. Kudos for eatin' crow there.

... My experience with these cyclical breakups is varied. But my bottom line is: they HAVE to stop. You can't continue walking the line.. someone will have a heart attack.

If there was cheating involved on either side, my advice is to GTFO. The underlying reasons for that will be too much for a relationship, I believe. 

But my advice for keeping him interested: Just let him know how much you love him, how sorry you are. It's not about talk, it's about behavior... I think. Reminding him of what he loved about you in the first place isn't a bad idea either


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## Xander (Oct 20, 2010)

Groveling and pleading may work. And a lot of women play the vulnerability, "don't leave me alone" card. I recommend that... 

...BUT that's very manipulative -- and he may see right through it -- unless you also demonstrate to him that you're addressing whatever caused your bad behavior in the first place. E.g., if you had an affair because you're bored, you're getting a hobby, joining a gym with him, etc. If you were nagging him a lot because you're depressed or unhappy, show him you're changing that. 

My point: apologies without solutions don't help.

I'm assuming you cheated on him or something (sorry, I didn't understand what happened from your post). If that is the case, *then beware being overly sexual around him* in a bid to win him back. If cheating was your problem, then your sudden hyper-sexuality will intimidate him and compound his trust issues, even if he enjoys the benefits for the time-being. Don't get me wrong, you have to sleep with him. You just should think twice before you preemptively indulge his porn star fantasy.

Finally, no matter what happens, you're going to start a few steps back. That's going to mean rekindling your romance from the ground up in some respects.

Good luck!


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