# Would it bother you...



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

My husband always wants me to "gt mine" first. BECAUSE of the very reason you stated. For HIM, after orgasm he is somewhat spent and wants to sleep or relax and have a snack lol.

For me, I am not that way after orgasm. In fact, it takes me awhile to "calm down" (unless it's been one of those intense marathons).

So no....she is not making it up.

Why would you assume she is making it up just because YOU don't get it? You seem to have a problem with this. I've noticed you dismiss a lot of things if they don't make sense TO YOU.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

It makes no difference to me either way except if the person I'm with is too spent after his to take care of me. Haven't been with too many men in my life, but of the three, only one didn't seem to care about my needs and if he went first it wasn't going to happen for me. I was too young and naive and inexperienced to think anything of it. Now I'd know better and make sure I went first. Or in his case I'd be first out the door as his selfishness in bed was just a precursor to his overall selfishness in life. LOL

Much like @personofinterest mentioned, I need time to wind down afterwards so going first is never an issue for me. (if memory serves...it's been a while...sigh) I remember reading years ago that women and men secrete different hormones after orgasm and men's put them to sleep while women's wake them up. (no idea how accurate that is) It's very annoying. A super late night quickie when I have an early day is not a good idea for me as I know I'll be awake for another 2 hours at least.

I don't really care if he falls asleep right after...as long as he doesn't fall asleep during...now that might require some therapy on my part!!


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

My W always goes first, but she is still revved up and enthusiastic after to keep going until I finish, so never been an issue. If I went first, my enthusiasm would definitely decrease.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

> A super late night quickie when I have an early day is not a good idea for me as I know I'll be awake for another 2 hours at least.


Probably TMI, but when hubby and I first married, and he would wake me up for some nookie, he'd try to make it romantic and give me pleasure and all that. I told him (in a loving way of course) that if I get all wound up I can't go back to sleep, so if he wakes up "needy" it is perfectly fine to just "love on me" till he feels better. I don't have to have "mine" lol. The closeness is enough for me, and I can go back to sleep lol


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

personofinterest said:


> Probably TMI, but when hubby and I first married, and he would wake me up for some nookie, he'd try to make it romantic and give me pleasure and all that. I told him (in a loving way of course) that if I get all wound up I can't go back to sleep, so if he wakes up "needy" it is perfectly fine to just "love on me" till he feels better. I don't have to have "mine" lol. The closeness is enough for me, and I can go back to sleep lol




On a few occasions I've been known to say "sure, but don't make me orgasm or I'll kill you!!" LOL


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Usually we try for her's first, because it's not always so easy for her anymore. But we go with the flow, and if that leads to me first that's fine, I'll take care of her after I catch my breath.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Odd thread - but that is why learning how "other people" handle situations is fun.

Wife 'suffers' Orgasms till she calls a stop to the action - and then I get going and when it's over we both snuggle and she can fall asleep in 3 minutes! I wish I could nap-off that quick!

She has one of those "wonder-rabbit" toys which really get her off and one time is enough. Nice part for me is no work!
(ducking the flying dishrags) - and she is all wound up so I get my release and the snuggle scene follows.

Only way I can fall asleep that fast is having done physical labor for hours that day. Hmmm. . . did I just sort of insinuate her side of the experience is 'physical labor?'


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

InMyPrime said:


> Form another thread:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'd be sad if sex became a serial journey to orgasm. We just keep going until we don't want to anymore. Unless DH is a damned good liar, I am with your wife, as is he.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

notmyjamie said:


> On a few occasions I've been known to say "sure, but don't make me orgasm or I'll kill you!!" LOL


:grin2: Now THAT sentence will probably NEVER come out of the mouth of a guy.....


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> I'd be sad if sex became a serial journey to orgasm. We just keep going until we don't want to anymore. Unless DH is a damned good liar,* I am with your wife, as is he.*


 @InMyPrime Didn't realize you had opened up your marriage you sly dog >


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

We go in either order. I always make sure she gets an O one way or the other, unless she asks me to stop - which is rare.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

notmyjamie said:


> It makes no difference to me either way except if the person I'm with is too spent after his to take care of me. Haven't been with too many men in my life, but of the three, only one didn't seem to care about my needs and if he went first it wasn't going to happen for me. I was too young and naive and inexperienced to think anything of it. Now I'd know better and make sure I went first. Or in his case I'd be first out the door as his selfishness in bed was just a precursor to his overall selfishness in life. LOL
> 
> 
> 
> Much like @personofinterest mentioned, I need time to wind down afterwards so going first is never an issue for me. (if memory serves...it's been a while...sigh) I remember reading years ago that women and men secrete different hormones after orgasm and men's put them to sleep while women's wake them up. (no idea how accurate that is) It's very annoying.



Haha, yes, i have also read the reason they ‘designed’ a woman to moan loudly during sex is so that other males in the vicinity could be alerted to come and ‘finish’ the job properly when the first, ‘useless’ male falls off of her...
But that’s for another thread 

And yes, she normally always goes ‘first’, if we are doing ‘that’ kind of thing. The request is usually to arrive simultaneously, which is not always straightforward (logistically).



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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

personofinterest;19864563
So no....she is not making it up.
Why would you assume she is making it up just because YOU don't get it? You seem to have a problem with this. I've noticed you dismiss a lot of things if they don't make sense TO YOU.[/QUOTE said:


> you need to try and not read too much into my sometimes deliberately provocative phrasing. I am of course asking out of concern for her, not because I feel she is trying to lie and deceive me! (That would make so sense in this instance, I hope even you can see that...).
> 
> Ok, it seems most women ‘work’ similarly then...Next time when it’s my turn, I will be at peace knowing that she is not miserable, and not instead would rather fall asleep, make herself a sammich or watch a game of football!
> 
> ...


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

NobodySpecial said:


> I'd be sad if sex became a serial journey to orgasm. We just keep going until we don't want to anymore. Unless DH is a damned good liar, I am with your wife, as is he.



When you say ‘we’, how can you be so 100% in sync? Unless I misunderstood...What happens exactly if you ‘don’t want’ first but he still does?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I may be the odd man out, so to speak.

Once I come, I'm still really jazzed and plenty willing, eager even, to continue servicing her if she so desires. My physical release in no way diminishes my desire to keep her rollin'. 

And if I keep stoking the fire, it won't be long before I"m ready again, so why not? (well, because she's no longer up for twofers like when we were young)

Actually, I always wished she was a little more demanding in that area. She definitely likes the closeness, and swears that's all it takes for her to be happy, and is quite adamant that her having an orgasm isn't important. I suppose most men would love such an arrangement, and I don't mean to turn sex into a goal/performance driven exercise, but feel a lot more solid if I thought it was actually important to my wife to share her most intimate moment with me once in a while.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> When you say ‘we’, how can you be so 100% in sync? Unless I misunderstood...What happens exactly if you ‘don’t want’ first but he still does?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I took her post to mean that she doesn't want her sex life to be too rigid and predictable. IE. She has to go first every time. I could be wrong. I took it that way because I feel the same way. Doing everything the same every time is way too boring. LOL


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> My husband always wants me to "gt mine" first. BECAUSE of the very reason you stated. For HIM, after orgasm he is somewhat spent and wants to sleep or relax and have a snack lol.
> 
> For me, I am not that way after orgasm. In fact, it takes me awhile to "calm down" (unless it's been one of those intense marathons).
> 
> ...


Same here. It ebbs off slowly and could be restarted easily if he needs to be "taken care of" as put. Definitely not making it up. The only thing I have to do is to drink water. I get thirsty almost every time, but I keep bottles of water nearby.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> What I wondered is: how many orgasms is one very good/very strong orgasm worth, if that question even makes any sense
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I'm usually satisfied after just one. I can have more than one I just have no need for another. I get too sensitive.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

InMyPrime said:


> When you say ‘we’, how can you be so 100% in sync? Unless I misunderstood...What happens exactly if you ‘don’t want’ first but he still does?


Usually do whatever he wants. It's fun and sweet at the same time. Never did get the give to get thing.


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## Randy2 (Jul 19, 2016)

I may be mis-reading some of the jargon here "doing me" "taking care of". No one has mentioned the desire or aversion to tasting your own ejaculate. 

My wife orgasms 95% of time through oral, and I'm a happy licker. Maybe 5% of the time with my fingers while PIV. I'm 97% PIV , 3% between her breasts, and never orgasm when she BJ's me. We start with a lot of soft foreplay, then I'll go down on her for a while, then some PIV, maybe more go down on her, then more PIV, then I usually choose whether to finish myself, then finish her, or vice versa.

If I finish her first (and she's "one and done"), I sometimes feel guilty about extending my thrusting time...and I do like thrusting almost as much as orgasming. If I finish first, then I'm tasting some of my ejaculate as I finish her...and...well, I don't lick as deeply. Honestly, I don't hate tasting my ejaculate, but I do prefer to only be tasting her. Then there are the times when she grabs my hair, holds my head there, and says "Don't stop, don't stop". I don't stop.


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## I shouldnthave (Apr 11, 2018)

No, I don’t need a snack nor a nap after I orgasm

Neither does my husband apparently! Sometimes after a particularly draining marathon (pardon the pun!) we will both pass out. Snacks are never part of the equation- but some drydration often is. I will usually grab us something to drink, so we don’t get so parched. 

I usually come first and often, but honestly we don’t keep track. Sex is still good for me on the rare occasion I don’t come. Same goes for him (sometimes after holding back for so long he just can’t release). 

Both of us are into edging, so sometimes I simply enjoy toying with him, and eventually getting him off, and sometimes he does the same to me.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> That’s when Mr Hand has to take over


I thought in that capacity Mr hand is Mrs hand for the duration. Would you not be a little apprehensive if your mind said hand was a Mr?


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

NobodySpecial said:


> Usually do whatever he wants. It's fun and sweet at the same time. Never did get the give to get thing.


Same here. Just follow instructions which usually include "Go on your belly flat," as he stuffs a big pillow under my middle and gets on with what he needs to do, which I appreciate a lot. 

But for me sex causes me to need a drink of water. I do not drink much else normally. Water is my best drink.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

InMyPrime said:


> When you say ‘we’, how can you be so 100% in sync? Unless I misunderstood...What happens exactly if you ‘don’t want’ first but he still does?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I don't know what you mean. I am talking about not being super orgasm focused, and you go to who wants "firsts".


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> I thought in that capacity Mr hand is Mrs hand for the duration. Would you not be a little apprehensive if your mind said hand was a Mr?




For sure. This has caused me all sorts of troubles...questioning my sexual orientation for sure; I could never cum to terms with the idea that masturbation is basically a dude jerking me off. Unacceptable (sorry, I’m only mildly homophobic, as most gays are anyway).

And to tie it nicely with Randy’s post: yes, going down on wife after I finished in her is basically where I draw the line with my gayness.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

InMyPrime said:


> I meant, if you basically had enough and he still wanted more (or hasn’t finished yet or whatever), will it still bother you to ‘take good care of him’?


No. I love taking care of him.



> In your other post, you said you just keep going until ‘we don’t want anymore’. I wasn’t sure if you were using the royal ‘we’ or whether your husband is 100% synchronised with you. Which is amazing if he is.


Well it works because 9 times out of 10, his still wanting means WE still want or vice versa. Or one of us taps out. And then WE don't want to anymore.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

InMyPrime said:


> For sure. This has caused me all sorts of troubles...questioning my sexual orientation for sure; I could never cum to terms with the idea that masturbation is basically a dude jerking me off. Unacceptable (sorry, I’m only mildly homophobic, as most gays are anyway).
> 
> And to tie it nicely with Randy’s post: yes, going down on wife after I finished in her is basically where I draw the line with my gayness.


Still a fair bit of gayness though. Should we say 15%? 

Still those in the 50% range would say you are one of theirs while those in the 90% range would invite you to a march. 

I think men who are below 16% and above 2% are good for women. You can have a conversation with them without defaulting into football, fishing, or cars, the three ultimate interest in a man killers.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> Still a fair bit of gayness though. Should we say 15%?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I definitely am not interested in football...or most sports. I never understood why people get obsessed with ‘their teams’. Also not cars. So hopefully still below 20%..I did use to fish with my dad but not done that since.
I will go google for a cure. 


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

InMyPrime said:


> I definitely am not interested in football...or most sports. I never understood why people get obsessed with ‘their teams’. Also not cars. So hopefully still below 20%..I did used to fish with my dad but not done that since.
> I will go google for a cure.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


WAAAAAAAAAAAIT one cotton picking minute! MR. Hand...no cars...no football...very little fishing? I'm pretty sure your hetero man card is in jeopardy of being revoked...

...and in a very confusing way I think I may now QUALIFY for a man card. :scratchhead:

:lol: :rofl:


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