# frustrated, am I overreacting?



## cam1974 (Oct 24, 2015)

I became frustrated this morning after I saw some texts between my husband and the other woman this morning (see me thread on my husband sexting my best friend to get the back story). it was small talk she initiated, nothing bad. It just bothers me that she contacted him to see how he was doing. I want to say something but don't want to come off sounding like a crazed lunatic. Should I just let it go?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

No! You need to shut this down immediately, whatever that takes.
IMO, men and women can't just be friends, unless at least one of them finds the other physically repulsive.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Let it go? Hell no!

DEFINITELY say something.

No contact means NO CONTACT.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

technovelist said:


> IMO, men and women can't just be friends, unless at least one of them finds the other physically repulsive.


Thats a little extreme...DUDE


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

It would be so hard for me to remain with my husband after I found out about that. If he loves you, he knows how much it hurt you, and he's doing it again. He's disrespecting you, your marriage, and allt he while you are just letting it happen.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Saying nothing is condoning.


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## Florida_rosbif (Oct 18, 2015)

I caught my WS back in contact with the OM a month after the PA was finished. She said "It's innocent, just checking on how the other one is doing."

It's obviously NOT innocent, it's just a continuation of the EA. My WS finally agreed with me that the continued, "innocent" contact was messing with her head and stopped (long may it last!). NC is NC, no exceptions.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Definitely say something but not now. Keep monitoring his phone to see if there is more contact between the two of them. You don't want them to go dark before you have incriminating data, if there is any. You have the advantage in that they don't know you are monitoring his phone.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Woman up and crush them!!!!! Now


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## cam1974 (Oct 24, 2015)

I'm going to lay low for now and just keep watch. just frustrates me to no end after I told her to not contact my husband at all. trying to keep my cool is hard but I know I can do it.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

cam1974 said:


> I'm going to lay low for now and just keep watch. just frustrates me to no end after I told her to not contact my husband at all. trying to keep my cool is hard but I know I can do it.


What is your game plan? Are you planning to leave if you find that they continue the affair?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When you do confront him, tell him that he has to send her a no contact letter. Here's a link to what they should say. Note that there is not good bye.. nothing about the AP.. just that he's been unfair and cruel to you and there has to be no more contact. He has to show you the letter and then mail it with you there.

Sample No Contact Letters | AFFAIRCARE


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cam1974 said:


> I became frustrated this morning after I saw some texts between my husband and the other woman this morning (see me thread on my husband sexting my best friend to get the back story). it was small talk she initiated, nothing bad. It just bothers me that she contacted him to see how he was doing. I want to say something but don't want to come off sounding like a crazed lunatic. Should I just let it go?


Yeah. Just let him continue talking to his other woman. 

Oh! Sorry! That didn't come out right. Here's what I should have said:-

*No darn way should they even look at each other, never mind communicating with each other! Put a stop to this crazy stuff, NOW!!!!*


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## Locke.Stratos (Sep 27, 2014)

cam1974 said:


> I'm going to lay low for now and just keep watch. just frustrates me to no end after I told her to not contact my husband at all. trying to keep my cool is hard but I know I can do it.


No that's stupid, don't lay low. It's like you're not even reading the posts here. That's the exact opposite of what everyone here has written.

Why should you have to keep your cool and be frustrated? This is obvioulsy not cool so handle it. It seems that you're afraid to confront your husband and your _best friend_.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If your intention is to divorce him, leave it alone and let it go.

If you have any interest in saving your marriage, you must insist on absolutely NO CONTACT OF ANY KIND immediately.

If I caught my DH having an EA with a "friend", told him to go NC, told her to go NC, and there was further contact of any kind? Not joking, it'd get real ugly, real fast.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

technovelist said:


> IMO, men and women can't just be friends, unless at least one of them finds the other physically repulsive.


Bwahhahahahahahaa!!!

Thank you. Needed that laugh


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

No, stop this contacting nonsense immediately. You have transparent accounts do you not? If I see this on my husband's phone, I would immediately answer. I would say: "This is Roselyn, bug off you crocodile!" Don't be a coward.


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## cam1974 (Oct 24, 2015)

I have contacted her and ask to get together and talk. The only communication I've had with her is through text messages since I found out about the two of them. I am going to be very adamant about no contact. I am also going to confront her about the evidence that I have about her coming to my house when I was not home and her claim about nothing happening which I know is bull****. I know its not going to be pretty but I need closure on this


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

its like getting the matches out so you can have just one last drag of the cigarette…

If you have ever smoked you know that doesn't work


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

and by that I mean her "innocent" text to him (not YOUR contact with her to make it clear what the boundaries are)
Good luck


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## cam1974 (Oct 24, 2015)

*Re: frustrated, am I overreacting? updated*

Well, I did meet up with the OW (former friend) and we talked. I did reiterated the no contact. I did question her about my suspicion about physical contact between the two of them. She understood my reasoning for asking this because of how graphic the texts between them were. She still swears that nothing happened. She told me if it had, she would have admitted it. I still have this doubt though. I just can't trust anyone anymore..........I know I need to move on and live my life.....I cannot dwell on what happened anymore....I'm still frustrated....


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

*Re: frustrated, am I overreacting? updated*



cam1974 said:


> Well, I did meet up with the OW (former friend) and we talked. I did reiterated the no contact. I did question her about my suspicion about physical contact between the two of them. She understood my reasoning for asking this because of how graphic the texts between them were. She still swears that nothing happened. She told me if it had, she would have admitted it. I still have this doubt though. I just can't trust anyone anymore..........I know I need to move on and live my life.....I cannot dwell on what happened anymore....I'm still frustrated....


She's a liar.

Your husband is a liar.

If nothing happened and if it's not still happening on the down low, I'm a virgin (mother of 3 here, none were immaculate conceptions).

If you don't seriously do something to show them, not tell them, that this is an issue, they are just going to keep on with their bs because they know they can. And you're letting them.


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