# Our Goodbyes...to a Failed Marriage.



## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

Our divorce (after a 22 year marriage), will be final this coming Tuesday, after enduring a long, grueling (almost) two years of separation/divorce.

My Ex sent me the following e-mail: My response follows.

Hey David,

First, I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for any part I played in our marriage problems throughout the years. I know I wasn't always the perfect wife either. I hope everything works out for you and that you find happiness in your new future and that things continue to go well for the business. We had good and bad times throughout our years together and I am thankful for the children we have together. We do have great kids and I love them very much. Hopefully we can continue to be friends and to get along and continue to work together with concerns for the children. Thank you for keeping the bills paid throughout our separation. My goal is that we can both move on past our hurts and failures and make the future much brighter for both of us as we each make a new start. 

Sincerely,
Sherry


*My Response:*


Hello Sherry,

Thank you for the e-mail. Once again, I also apologize for where I have failed in our marriage. This whole separation/divorce process has been a real eye opener to me...including in regards to myself. We share the same goal, in putting the hurts & failures behind us, as best we can, and moving on. I agree, that even though we had our bad times, there were certainly good times as well, that can always be cherished...especially with our wonderful kids. I also agree about being friends as much as possible and getting along for the kids, as well as keeping open communication, regarding them. I also really appreciate you dedicating time to home schooling. I'll be happy to assist in any way possible.

I wish you the best for a happy, fulfilling future and as you move on to a new relationship(s). 

Here's to New Beginnings.


Sincerely,

David


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Now write the letter you really wanted to send Malibu17, or are you really "that fine" with the whole situation?

LIL


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## whattodo17 (Jan 12, 2010)

Malibu-I have to admit that is a very well written response. 

LIL-I'm sorry but I just had to chuckle at your response, too funny!


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

Actually, I wrote three or four letters so far thst will never be sent to my W. I just write them and then tear them up. Good therapy to write how how I feel about some of the things she did over the years. There is one thing you will realize after you do this and that is your x is just as much to blame.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

I could have certainly written her a nasty response letter, slamming her and bringing out all the unresolved issues I had with her. However, after almost two years of hashing and rehashing issues, I realize (and she does too), that "it is what it is"....time to agree to disagree, truly end the relationship and move forward, without one another.

I have forgiven her...if nothing else to keep my sanity...and move on.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Malibu17 said:


> I could have certainly written her a nasty response letter, slamming her and bringing out all the unresolved issues I had with her. However, after almost two years of hashing and rehashing issues, I realize (and she does too), that "it is what it is"....time to agree to disagree, truly end the relationship and move forward, without one another.
> 
> I have forgiven her...if nothing else to keep my sanity...and move on.


That's what I was looking for Malibu17. I figured a little vinegar was "back in the closet" somewhere. Good for you though, in realizing the healthier approach to take, and having the strength to take it.

Do you mind if I copy your letter? It'll work nicely for my situation as well. However, I doubt if I'll keep in the friends part. That bridge has been blown, although I do honestly wish her well in putting her life back together. 

LIL


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## hyndsight1 (Jan 28, 2010)

> I could have certainly written her a nasty response letter, slamming her and bringing out all the unresolved issues I had with her. However, after almost two years of hashing and rehashing issues, I realize (and she does too), that "it is what it is"....time to agree to disagree, truly end the relationship and move forward, without one another.


Well put Malibu, the best part:



> I have forgiven her...if nothing else to keep my sanity...and move on.


Whether 'fine' with it or not, we all know that dwelling in the past will only rob from the future. Best of luck with your new beginning.


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## Malibu17 (Nov 30, 2007)

LIL, I don't mind at all, if you or anyone else copies my letter. I'm glad you can find it helpful in your situation, even if you need to customize it.

hyndsight1, Thank you for the positive feedback and encouragement...in my New Beginning.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I have to say I am really jealous of you being at that stage of closure - I am somewhere in between the initial shock and closure.

Good for you.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

LIL - I agree with you on the "friends" part. My W assumes we can still be friends. She obviously is in denial over what she has done to our family.


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