# He has agreed to Retrouvaille this weekend; trying not to get my hopes up...



## nan809 (Aug 29, 2012)

Would love to hear any first hand experience with this. My husband wants to separate/divorce--he has the apartment to move into in June. He has agreed to this weekend, I think, to appease me and to help me feel that we have left no stone unturned. We have been in MC, IC & are still very kind/civil to each other and he still love me "but can't get the deep feelings back" that he had years ago for me. No infidelity--more of the we turned into roommates. We have two children, twins age 10.

thx


----------



## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

Some people use MC to help the spouse ease into a divorce easier, not really work on "fixing" the marriage. Other times, someone does it just so they can say they "tried" so the guilt isn't there to deal with later. Did he commit during the MC sessions? What signs did he give that he was working on fixing the marriage? Do you feel like any progress has been made? Are you just still in a fog from it all, and take any contact as a positive step and happy your getting anything at all from him? I'm not sure what a weekend can fix, if the issues are deep enough that the D word has been used. What are your goals for the weekend?


----------



## nan809 (Aug 29, 2012)

The D word has been used. That is how he wants to proceed. We have been in MC and the MC is very pro-marriage and really thought we have what it takes. H just wants to move on. He has never said he wants to save the marriage but "let's see where this takes us." So, yes, I am probably grasping at straws and hoping for a miracle. Pathetic, I guess. He does admit that "we have made tremendous progress" as a couple. But his feelings for me "have changed" and he can't seem to get the feelings back although "he has tried." I think Retrouvaille was eye-opening for him and he agreed with a lot of what was said. The whole idea of love being a "choice" or making a decision to love was something we talked about. He has agreed to do the follow-up Retrouvaille sessions. I just can't see to accept that he wants out but it is what I need to do. I have done the whole Divorce Busters thing too (phone counseling, etc) which helped a lot and I think got us this far--he was ready to move out last Spring but kept agreeing to work on things (seeing a MC, Retrouvaille, etc) think i have done a pretty good job of getting a life but I can't seem to detach. I just need to accept this but am struggling.


----------

