# Divorcing and trying to move on



## MVP (May 31, 2021)

Hi everyone. I‘m Maria. As I read your stories I connect with so many of you. Thank you for the opportunity to share my story. I am 53. Divorcing after 2 years of marriage. My husband, who I dated and have known for 6, decided he just “didn’t want to be married” any longer and wanted his independence. Although he still “loves me” he finds compromise in marriage too much of a “sacrifice”. He moved out, within a week rented a townhouse, and has filed formally for divorce. All within 4 weeks.

I am devastated. In truth, our marriage was on the rocks from the beginning. His resentment of having to adapt from an independent life (prior to moving in together and getting married we saw each other every other weekend and once during the week), was apparent. Emotional withdrawl, the unwillingness to connect with me, to put down roots, to develop a partnership became a constant battle. The harder I leaned in, the more the pushed away. He refused counseling, feels we are just not compatible And he simply cannot be the emotionally connected partner I seek.

I realize I should have left the relationship long ago, but I just kept at trying to make it work. I realized when you are chasing someone, you have to remember the other person is actually running away from you.

He refused counseling and simply wants his divorce. I am left sitting here still stunned, rejected and feeling lost.

Thanks for listening.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Sorry to hear that, but you'll come up better in the long run. 

Gray rock him. That's all you need to do. Block him out of your life. Do not hear from him and his excuses. Be strong on this. Show him that you have self respect, and that you don't need him in your life. 
Complete indifference is what will help you move on and at the same time show him that he can be easily replecible.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Why are you stunned? You saw it coming. You can't fix him. Don't let him break you. At least you don't have a lot of your life invested in this guy. Move on and get happy. You deserve it.


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## MVP (May 31, 2021)

Sfort said:


> Why are you stunned? You saw it coming. You can't fix him. Don't let him break you. At least you don't have a lot of your life invested in this guy. Move on and get happy. You deserve it.


Yes, I guess stunned is probably not the right word. Stunned it all went to **** so fast is probably more accurate.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

The pieces have disintegrated. There's nothing to put back together. What do you want for your life for the future?


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## MVP (May 31, 2021)

Rob_1 said:


> Sorry to hear that, but you'll come up better in the long run.
> 
> Gray rock him. That's all you need to do. Block him out of your life. Do not hear from him and his excuses. Be strong on this. Show him that you have self respect, and that you don't need him in your life.
> Complete indifference is what will help you move on and at the same time show him that he can be easily replecible.


Thank you. That’s inspiring and so very true. Thank you for your positive comment and suport


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## CN2622 (Mar 22, 2021)

I am so sorry to hear this all. My wife and I are struggling also but with different issues. This site has been very helpful and people are surprisingly helpful and respectful. I’m glad you posted on here as there are always people around to talk and listen.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

_Mating in captivity_ is the hardest thing humans can do.

Looking at your present situation, we can easily see how it unfolded.

You wanted to mate for life, he inevitably, felt otherwise. 

I blame him for this failure, much more that you.
He knew he was very independent, he knew his love for you was insufficient, yet he married 'anyway'.

He wasted 2 years of your life, actually 6 with his careless, carefree behavior.

At your age that is a long time (I speak as an older male, myself).

The solution is:

a) Cherish any good moments you had with him.
b) Learn from it.
c) Find a more needy man, someone who wants to properly bond.

The good thing is....

You will soon be free (again) to sample the manly wares again.
That is no small blessing. 
Life is short, living fully and freely can be rewarding.

Live not, in your past, find a new beginning.

Make this man a chapter in your book, somewhere in the trailing middle, not at the end!

New lips, new charms, and new arms are out there for you!



_Are N Dee-_


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## MVP (May 31, 2021)

Sfort said:


> The pieces have disintegrated. There's nothing to put back together. What do you want for your life for the future?





SunCMars said:


> _Mating in captivity_ is the hardest thing humans can do.
> 
> Looking at your present situation, we can easily see how it unfolded.
> 
> ...


that was a blessing. Thank you for taking the time to write such beautiful words of encouragement


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## MVP (May 31, 2021)

CN2622 said:


> I am so sorry to hear this all. My wife and I are struggling also but with different issues. This site has been very helpful and people are surprisingly helpful and respectful. I’m glad you posted on here as there are always people around to talk and listen.


Thank you for your kind words.


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