# Purchase Ex-Wife's friendship???



## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

We have been apart for 2.5 years. We havent spoken on the phone since Aug 8th. 
She sends "Lawyer type" emails occasionlly that are disturbing. My son (8) will start basketball in about five months which will put us in the same room together. Im nervous and she is very nervous also ( I think). She was all about miney during the divorce and in hind-sight, if I thought all this after-math was going to happen,, I would have just given her the house/car/90% of my income and walked away with just my shirt as she wanted. She refuses to be nice or cordial, no matter how hard I try. I have a rental prop that Im thinking about giving her or let her keep all of her pension just to see if that will make her happy. I cant live this way the rest of my life. We will be around each other forever Im sure. 
Any suggestions??


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I've found that being lenient/generous financially solves a lot of issues. If you aren't materialistic and feel confident in your ability to earn what you need for yourself, and it improves the co-parenting, it doesn't seem like a bad idea to me. 

If you give her a property, maybe you could put some kind of deed on it so that she cannot give it or will it to anyone other than your son. So that some guy can't come along and benefit from your gift by marrying her.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Don't put yourself in the poor house, but if you can afford it, it's a nice thing to do for your son too. 
I agree with making sure she cannot sell or give the property away. Making sure it goes to your son when she passes away.


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

I like your idea. She has mentioned wanting therapy bc she just cant talk to me or see me but I feel she wants therapy as a tool. She will show a therapist that we cant get along and communicate and then go to court and bring the therapist. She brainwashed my daughter (16 years old) into staying with her so she gets a lot of money there but we share my son and she wants him badly for the money. I was hoping to giver her a property or pension In Leu of.
Its money, money and more with her. I just want civil, un-stressed life.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You are thinking emotionally instead of logically, be careful. At the end of a marriage both parties are legally entitled to a fair distribution of assets. If you think giving her more than her fair share will win her favor and "friendship" you are probably wrong, she will just find other reasons to dislike you.

Learn how to treat any dealings with the ex as a business transaction, protect yourself emotionally, financially and above all protect and enforce your rights as a father.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

MOST people who said "I just want out" and give up their fair share come back five years later with an "I wish I hadn't give/let them have XXX". 

Yes, it's generous and your intentions are right but I don't know if this will solve the type of vindictive person she is. Maybe you should go to a family counselor to learn how to deal with the new dynamics. I found one to be VERY helpful - I learned how to explain things to my daughter in acceptable terms, how to deal with the ex under difficult conditions and how to stay true to myself all at the same time. And a bonus side-effect was the courts saw I was motivated to be a good parent. 

Most courts recognize that children NEED to see both parents and the custodial parent should encourage that relationship. 

I can see how mothers and daughters might want to be in the same household. Don't discuss any of this with the 16 y/o - she is still a kid even though that age might make it seem like she's old enough to be a confidant, she is not. So make your time with her positive - make good memories with both of them with whatever time you get.

Can't you use mediation or just go with whatever the Judge finds fair when it comes to dividing the assets? As long as you are agreeable then anything above and beyond she asks for just makes HER look greedy and unreasonable to the courts.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

She received what the justice system thought was correct. Treat her like an ex-tenant. Cordial but not chatty, all business.

You keep what you earned friend,
Stretch


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## BW1 (May 1, 2013)

Never reward bad behavior. No disrespect intended to the women, but most divorced women I have known, including my ex, felt they were entitled to the lions share ofeverything in the divorce. Fortunately, I lost my home to the bank, and she didn't get a penny out of something she never helped pay for in the first place. I would rather lose it all, then to see her get one dime, for what I sweated, and bled for.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Basketball gyms are big. Sit on the other side of the bleachers from her. That's what I do. All the other parents know we are divorced, so who cares?

Hold your head high.

Why would you give her money, just because she's acting the childish b!tch??:scratchhead:


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