# Planning a change...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's new year's eve, and we're heading out tonight to celebrate, but I know she's still hurt over what I said to her a few days ago and what has been going on in my head over closed doors. After some self-reflection I realised that if there's anytime to renew our vows and commitment to each other, it's before midnight. I've come to realise that I've made a mistake, I was weak and pathetic, and in the end dishonoring who I am and where I came from.

My problems shouldn't be an issue if I don't LET IT BE AN ISSUE yes? I should be stronger then this, self-reflection is stupid if that's all I do. I must act. I guess it's time to make a choice. My wife is not only beautiful, but VERY strong, intelligent, and the best friend and companion a man could ask for. I used to say to her that she has no competition, not even amongst my people, and none of our women that I've ever met or will ever meet can be as strong as she is, she represents the VERY best of us, and with that she IS already one of my people... and I will say that to her again. I used to say to her that I will protect her, defend her, keep her from harm against the world that hates us, stand firm for her against the sh-t that may break us, and I will say that to her again.

It's not going to be an easy road for me but nor was it for her in the past. She has invested so much in our marriage, she has always been strong, in ways that I never truly understood until later as well. It's only fair that I recipocate. I'm planning to tell her this tonight, before the fireworks erupt, hell I hope I time it right, and I'm going to do it sober, the first new years eve I will ever spend sober to tell her how I feel and she will know that it is not the alcohol talking. I'm just going to tell her I just "don't feel like drinking" until I spill the beans.

I'm tired of this, she's tired of this. She's come more then halfway for me and yet I haven't even started. F--k this alpha/beta BS, f--k the game, f--k my own BS problems, f--k the world for I have my wife, and the world can kiss our ass if they can't accept us, she deserves more then THIS, she deserves my commitment to treat her right as a real man should.

*sigh*
I think her willing to abandon her faith for me really made me realise what evil I have truly done. To this day I still don't know WTF love is, but I can't stand to see her like this anymore. I'm going to make the lights in the sky ours tonight, she deserves that much.

Damn the f--king snooze button it never works! I am waking up to this sh-t!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Congrats on reaching this point!

I do suggest dropping the "my people" bit...SHE IS YOUR PEOPLE 

That's all that matters. For better or worse.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:rofl:

We are sooooooooooo wasted lol! Good thing we came with friends lol! I was all set to spend the new years sober just to reassure my wife but as soon as I told her what I had to tell her she embraced me and we ended up getting f--king wasted to celebratee! lol

We had a few more glasses of champagne once we got home and put our daughter to sleep, and hell she was passing out lol (not before she threw up on our bed OMFG! lol), it was so great to see her hair down though! =D

Happy new year everyone!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

HAHA...gross.


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## johniori1 (Dec 28, 2011)

very nice and congrats to you


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