# Am I making things worse...



## NVRlose (Dec 14, 2015)

My wife and I have been together for 3 years. We have a blended family and never got that time most new married couples get. I have seen that my wife has a good heart, that's why I love her. But unfortunately it's been few and far between. She has been told she has Post partum depression and during the pregnancy of our baby together she had depression during the pregnancy. She had mood swings, crying a lot, angry and a temper, said awful things to me. I thought that if I just got through the pregnancy with her then every thing would be better and we could put that behind us. For weeks after the birth she was very loving and the woman I believe I married. Now she is back at work and since then she has moments where she cries and gets mad at the simplest of things. I have little patience now after going through the pregnancy. we have gone to counseling and I thought it would help. I know I need to have more patience but how do you have patience when you get treated with disrespect? I shut down and I am cold to her she says. I don't hug her or pay any attention to her when she is like this. She has told me she wants a D several times and she has given me back her rings many times. My commitment to this marriage is now shaky. I know she has depression and issues but I don't want to live my life like this. 

Thought I would put this out there.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

You knew you weren't going to get that alone time when you got married. Your wife has postpartum depression, a blended family, a job, a new baby and a husband who doesn't hug and pay attention to her. Gee I wonder if she is stressed? Are you doing your share of the child care, laundry, cooking and cleaning? You are surprised she is acting the way she is? 
Keep working on the marriage, your children don't need to go through another divorce and another family breakup.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Maybe if you were a little more supportive and affectionate when she is crying and upset it could help to change the climate in your marriage, just saying.


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## save marriages (Dec 15, 2015)

Marriage is between two people who are willing to stay in love with each other, Both of you should look for reasons to stay in the relationship not give-up on the relationship. Don't look for compatibility or perfection as indifference's make us unique.


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## Search_for_Happiness (Jun 23, 2014)

Being in a blended family is tough. I commend you for your joint decision to attempt counseling. Counseling is great if you are both committed to its success. It is important for each of you to deal with all issues - past and present. couples counseling is good but you may wish to implement individual counseling to deal with self. 

Only 3 years in neither of you have figured out how to deal with one another let alone the additional stress of children from a previous relationship and a child together. 

This is a lot for anyone to deal with. Commitment, step-up your game. Throwing the "D" word is hurtful to you I'm sure; but not responding to her in the right manner will spell disaster. Communication is key, elemental to the success of any relationship. That doesn't mean that all well communicated and well intended marriages work. That is just not the case, but living with the failure of a relationship with someone you love simply because of impatience and the lack of ambition to seek a resolve will haunt you.

Also, date night!!! Very important for just the 2 of you to go out without children to be a couple.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

What is she doing to treat her depression?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How many minutes or hours each day do you spend washing and putting away clothes, cooking, cleaning the kitchen, bathing the kids, helping with homework, and playing with the kids?


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

PPD is serious, I hope she is getting the therapy and treatment for this. What people don't realize, is that pregnancy is not only hard on the woman, but it's hard on the whole family. The husband suffers, the kids try not to make mom mad..it can be rough for a while. So I do believe you two need counseling so you can get your feelings out there. It sounds like she is upset by what you are not doing for her but she should realize that you are a person with feelings and that you have been trying as hard as you can to be there for her and to help. PPD shouldn't last forever, however, if she had issues with depression or anxiety before the pregnancy then most likely she will after PPD as well.


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