# Shld I leave him?



## aishah_28 (Feb 5, 2008)

I've been married for 3 yrs, and jus gave birth to my 2nd child 3 mths ago. My hubby have cheated on me before and he'll promise to change. After a while, he'll do it again. I did fought with him, argued, and even boycotted, yet there's no full stop. I always start afresh with him b cos I know he's a very good father. I'm very depressed and I got no one to share my woes to. My family members think that I'm happy with him. 

In fact, as a wife, I try not fail my duties. I practically do everything for him. Even cook for him lunch before leaving for work. I'm sick and tired to salvaging my marriage every time. I even lost weight & try to look gd for him. So that he'll not have any reason to start back his nonsense again.

Hubby is helping out my uncle on his off days. Whenever he's otw home, he'll inform me. Then if happened to call him at times, I've noticed that he's always on call waiting. When I asked him, he said its his friend. We had fight over this quite a few times. Then I also started noticing, the call duration. It can last up to half & hr. He doen't hang on the phone when he's at home with me & the kids.

When I question him, he said his friend, tat's all. After afew time, I've started noticing that call duration is 2 or 3 secs. I know there's something fishy. I asked him whether he's hanging on the phone with anyone else. Then he started arguing, and said he know I'll nvr change and will suspect him always. He asked whether I took his call details or what. If not guilty, then y the hell must he be so defensive? 

I want to leave him. I did my best and I'm on the verge of leaving him but I'm tied down wit my 2 kids. I don't want to deprive them of father's love. He's always home and no late nite outs. But even without these things he's capable of having an affair since he had done that before. 

Sorry for being so long winded... I'm confuse & depress...


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## sarahdale24 (Feb 3, 2008)

First- you are alot stronger than me for taking him back because with cheating I don't give second chances. You are better than that and so are your kids. 

Second- he can still be a good father w/o the two of you being together. You will not be depriving them of their father's love by staying there, IMHO, you are teaching them that its ok to live with someone who treats you the way he does. They will grow up and possibly think this is ok and it will be a repeat issue. You don't want that. You want to teach them to value theirselves, and by staying with a man who continues to cheat on you isn't teaching them the right thing. Again this is my opinion. 

Third- don't "fool" your family into thinking you are happy with him. They can not be the supportive and understanding person they need to be if they don't know whats going on. They can very well be your backbone through this difficult time. Talk to them and seek their advice too. 

Please come back and vent/share and I hope I have been some help.

Sarah


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## aishah_28 (Feb 5, 2008)

sarahdale24 said:


> First- you are alot stronger than me for taking him back because with cheating I don't give second chances. You are better than that and so are your kids.
> 
> Second- he can still be a good father w/o the two of you being together. You will not be depriving them of their father's love by staying there, IMHO, you are teaching them that its ok to live with someone who treats you the way he does. They will grow up and possibly think this is ok and it will be a repeat issue. You don't want that. You want to teach them to value theirselves, and by staying with a man who continues to cheat on you isn't teaching them the right thing. Again this is my opinion.
> 
> ...


I'm born in a Muslim family where divorce is a taboo. He is a gd father as well as a good husband. He practically does everything for me but I really don't know what he exactly wants. I've done what I could. Even look gd for him. His affairs are not serious ones. I've told him to leae me but he doesn't want. Even if I tell my family members, I don't tink they'll give me support. Saying that I shld tolerate since I'm already a mother of 2. 

I've forgiven him so many times and this time round, I just can't be bothered. My kids r very young. My boy is 1yr 7 mths and my girl is on 3 mths old. I'm a working mum, and I have a maid who takes care of the kids while I'm work.

On the day, I've married him, we run the family using the dual income, thus there's no savings for myself.


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## sarahdale24 (Feb 3, 2008)

hmm, then I have no words of advice. You have to take care of yourself, and in my opinion dragging yourself through this is not healthy. Do what you think is right...


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

aishah_28 ~ Since you can't or will not leave him then know this. It is not your fault, you have done nothing wrong nor dor you deserve to shoulder any blame. Heal yourself.

draconis


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