# Has anyone had their wayward spouse take a polygraph?



## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Has anyone had their wayward spouse take a polygraph? If so, we're they willing? What were their thoughts on polygraphs? What was your experience? How did everything turn out?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I had a wayward spouse once, I didn't muck around when I found out so thus ended that marriage, aside from this forum I didn't know polygraphing a wayward spouse was a thing.

Incidentally I have professional experience in conducting intelligence interviews and doing tactical questioning and can relate we never used polygraph machines. That said I really don't get why people bother using them with respect to wayward spouses, seriously if you can't trust them why bother with such nonsense?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Personal said:


> I had a wayward spouse once, I didn't muck around when I found out so thus ended that marriage, aside from this forum I didn't know polygraphing a wayward spouse was a thing.
> 
> Incidentally I have professional experience in conducting intelligence interviews and doing tactical questioning and can relate we never used polygraph machines. That said I really don't get why people bother using them with respect to wayward spouses, seriously if you can't trust them why bother with such nonsense?


*Having worked in the federal government for years, the lingo around our internal people was that lie detectors were incrementally expensive, full of bugs, and subject to both legal and scientific interpretation. Just the mere suggestion of employing one was usually good enough to evoke a confession out of a wayward employee! 

Now with regard to my RSXW, there would be absolutely no logical precept in ever giving her a polygraph test as she'd break the damned machine and have it turned into an irreparable smoking incindiary after only five minutes of tertiary usage!

Let's just say that skank's "lies" had lies!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

There's a poster here that asked his wife to take a polygraph. She agreed and passed. He still doesn't believe her so what good did it do him? Oh and he's never found any other smoking gun, he's just suspicious and/or paranoid.


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## billbird2111 (Feb 14, 2016)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> Has anyone had their wayward spouse take a polygraph? If so, we're they willing? What were their thoughts on polygraphs? What was your experience? How did everything turn out?


Any spouse, male or female, who wants their significant other to take a polygraph is in a marriage that is doomed to result in failure.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Look, Sally, you aren't going to get any different answer in this thread. Jack is lying to you. You know this. Why do you keep torturing yourself? 

But, to answer your questions, no, no polygraph here. I told him everything. I didn't "conveniently forget" whether something specific happened or not... unlike your husband. You have been told, MANY TIMES, on ALL of your threads, this exact thing. He is lying, trying to keep his tracks covered. WHY are you beating this dead horse? I thought you made a decision about your marriage. 

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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Maricha75 said:


> Look, Sally, you aren't going to get any different answer in this thread. Jack is lying to you. You know this. Why do you keep torturing yourself?
> 
> But, to answer your questions, no, no polygraph here. I told him everything. I didn't "conveniently forget" whether something specific happened or not... unlike your husband. You have been told, MANY TIMES, on ALL of your threads, this exact thing. He is lying, trying to keep his tracks covered. WHY are you beating this dead horse? I thought you made a decision about your marriage.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk



I am just curious if anyone knows how it actually works because it makes no sense to me. He was asked 8 questions. 

4 were questions he was suppose to lie on to get a baseline.

The other 4 questions were related to the affair.

The first 3 came back inconclusive. (Including the one about, did he have sex with her).
The last one was deceptive. 

He claims the last one came back deceptive because he was asked, "Did you have sexual contact with ***** after finding out ***** (me) was pregnant?" He answered no. 

He claimed he failed that one because he knows we found out I was pregnant on April 21 2015 but he does not remember the exact date the affair ended. 

I am not saying I believe him or not.

But the main reason is, why would the others be inconclusive just because one was deceptive? 

And why do I want to know so badly? Because his AP has twins 3 days after I had our son. 

He swears they never had sex. Now I need to know if this chick is going to come out of the blue one day claiming they are his.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Stick to the one thread please.

If you want help, be transparent on ONE thread.

You husband is an excellent liar and you are gullible. 

Go to counselling and find out why you are so dependent on your husband.

A healthy adult would not put up with this rubbish.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

poida said:


> Stick to the one thread please.
> 
> If you want help, be transparent on ONE thread.
> 
> ...


This is about polygraphs only. It does not require the whole story as I wanted OTHER stories and opinions about them. And I already made a decision. He has been packing all weekend and leaves in the morning. I said it in my main thread. Now get off my back.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> This is about polygraphs only. It does not require the whole story as I wanted OTHER stories and opinions about them. And I already made a decision. He has been packing all weekend and leaves in the morning. I said it in my main thread. Now get off my back.


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> This is about polygraphs only. It does not require the whole story as I wanted OTHER stories and opinions about them. And I already made a decision. He has been packing all weekend and leaves in the morning. I said it in my main thread. Now get off my back.


Actually, it has everything to do with the whole story. Even in your main thread, everyone has stated that the reason they came back inconclusive is because he is LYING. His claiming "amnesia" is because he is trying to cover his @$$, hoping you will buy it. 

I'm glad he's leaving, but if I were you, I would make arrangements to get a different place for yourself. I suspect his mother will not be happy about you living in her house, rather than her son.

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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Maricha75 said:


> Jacksgirl37 said:
> 
> 
> > This is about polygraphs only. It does not require the whole story as I wanted OTHER stories and opinions about them. And I already made a decision. He has been packing all weekend and leaves in the morning. I said it in my main thread. Now get off my back.
> ...


Are you a polygrapher? 

The polygrapher who gave the test said these exact words: "They did not score deceptive but cannot be reported as truthful in the report as one question was deceptive."

I do not understand that. So yes, this IS JUST about polygraphs themselves. Stop thinking you know everything. Unless you are, indeed, a polygrapher.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> Has anyone had their wayward spouse take a polygraph? If so, we're they willing? What were their thoughts on polygraphs? What was your experience? How did everything turn out?


I have never done it but I have read of people doing it. Other people on here have said "why bother if you don't trust your spouse." and that is a really good point. 

But I can still see using one if you are trying to recover your marriage and aren't sure your spouse is being forthcoming and you want to put lingering doubts to rest, or scare them into confessing. (Though it sounds like that didn't work in your case.)

I haven't read your other threads but it sounds like you do not trust him and neither does anyone else in this forum. (Which should tell you something.) That is something to think about - even if he is telling the truth (he's not...) and you are just crazy/paranoid - do you really want to be married to someone you don't trust?

As for what the polygrapher meant, can you call and ask them to elaborate? If not, I can tell you I have read that polygraphing is not an exact science and can be wrong, but that "inconclusive" means just that - his body's response was not conclusive for lying or telling the truth. Apparently that happens. If he's a practiced liar he may not react like a normal human to lying!

As for the OW's twins - Yikes. I wonder if there's any way you could get a DNA sample from one of them and do a paternity test... That idea could probably get you in trouble, but it would drive me mad not knowing, waiting for that shoe to drop. (Unless I left the loser husband then at some point I would not care.)


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Jacksgirl,

The willingness or not to do a polygraph can be taken as a sign.

A chronic liar will continue to invent lies about polygraphs. 

Also check their search history to see if they google "fooling a polygraph" or something similar.

As many have said the actual confession occurs when driving over to the appointment for the polygraph.

I took one, not for infidelity, and the polygraph operator knew what I was strongly truthful and untruthful about.

Tamat


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> Are you a polygrapher?
> 
> The polygrapher who gave the test said these exact words: "They did not score deceptive but cannot be reported as truthful in the report as one question was deceptive."
> 
> I do not understand that. So yes, this IS JUST about polygraphs themselves. Stop thinking you know everything. Unless you are, indeed, a polygrapher.


Omg. You really need to get a life. Believe whatever the hell you want. I really don't care. But, the fact is his ENTIRE story means EVERYTHING regarding this stupid polygraph. He's been freaking lying to you and you are GRASPING AT STRAWS trying to give him an "out". You have been told MULTIPLE times, by MULTIPLE people, WHY he got those results, and what he is REALLY doing. So, yes, I maintain that it DOES, still, have EVERYTHING to do with the entire story... you just don't want to accept it.

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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Maricha75 said:


> Jacksgirl37 said:
> 
> 
> > Are you a polygrapher?
> ...


OMG. Then why is he already moved out of the house, the deed is now in MY name and we are meeting with our attorney this afternoon to discuss everything and put into action a legal separation, temporarily giving over his parental rites except for supervised visits and there is already 10,000 in my banking account that he has no access to? Has is that me grasping at straws "trying to give him an out"? He is already out. 

No, my dear, this is called tying up lose ends and I want to make sure his little side dish does not get money hungry and come crawling to MY house for scraps. I left the scraps in a cheap apartment complex a few towns away and no, she cannot let the twins play with my son. 

Again. P-O-L-Y-G-R-A-P-H-S. Wow, you must be so popular with your Miss Know-it-all skills. Just because I do not share everything right away on the board, does not mean the mods do not know what is going on. EleGirl knew last week that my husband was moving out yesterday. Sorry we did not invite you to that table. Let me guess. You got left out a lot in school? Popular girls pick on you a lot, so now you feel you have to be rude to others behind your keyboard?

You see, I will not say anything online, that I am not willing to say in person. You want to Skype, meet for coffee somewhere? I am not afraid. I am not weak. And I sure the hell know what is going on in my own damn life. 

I appreciate the opportunity for Jack to be able to see that, no matter where he goes with "His story", no one will believe him. No one. I have not believed him since April 16th, 2016. 

But I do know a hell of a lot more about what is going on in my life, and the intentions behind my threads, than you do. I can promise you that. 

Now I will leave you with one last thought and then I will respond no more to your bored housewife bully tactics. 

Closed minds should come with closed mouths. 

Good day.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

TAMAT said:


> Jacksgirl,
> 
> The willingness or not to do a polygraph can be taken as a sign.
> 
> ...


He was willing to take that one, but he did not realize I was going to add one of the questions until we got into the office. That is the one he failed, and he told the polygrapher, while I was out of the room, that he was afraid he might fail that one. I think he prepared himself for the others and that is how he passed. The numbers were very close to the deception readings. He has always voiced how he does not trust them, believe in them...but I do, 100% and that is all that should matter. Had he been honest about everything, and took the test willingly because it was what I needed, he would have shown remorse and passed. And you are right. He is a very skilled liar.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Good god this story makes my head spin. 

And in all honesty, your attack of @Maricha75 is totally uncalled for and rude.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LosingHim said:


> Good god this story makes my head spin.
> 
> And in all honesty, your attack of @Maricha75 is totally uncalled for and rude.


I expected nothing less, LH.

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## oneMOreguy (Aug 22, 2012)

I see a huge disconnect between the persona just presented and a betrayed spouse coming to a web site for advice. It's truly odd.

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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> OMG. Then why is he already moved out of the house, the deed is now in MY name and we are meeting with our attorney this afternoon to discuss everything and put into action a legal separation, temporarily giving over his parental rites except for supervised visits and there is already 10,000 in my banking account that he has no access to? Has is that me grasping at straws "trying to give him an out"? He is already out.
> 
> No, my dear, this is called tying up lose ends and I want to make sure his little side dish does not get money hungry and come crawling to MY house for scraps. I left the scraps in a cheap apartment complex a few towns away and no, she cannot let the twins play with my son.
> 
> ...


Frankly, Sally, I couldn't care less about the intricacies of your relationship with that boy. And, yes, I do think of him as a boy. He only has 6 years on my oldest boy. Ugh.

No, I was not "left out in school". I was actually good friends with the popular kids as well as the less popular kids. Sorry to burst your bubble, there.

I did try to be nice to you... until you so "eloquently" intimated that I don't know wtf I am talking about. But, I will clear that up for you with no problem.

The reason I keep TRYING TO tell you that it ALL matters is because it DOES. Why? Because there is more to it than JUST the fact that it was "inconclusive". It was inconclusive for a reason. That reason is because he is hiding the truth from you. Or, at least, as far as your posts have shown, he is still hiding the truth. He found a way to "beat the test". That's his story and he's sticking to it. 

Good, I am GLAD you are getting things in order! I am GLAD the house is signed over to you. I am not sure why you think "giving him an out" means anything remotely resembling getting him out of the house, though. It actually means finding a way to squirm out of his story. But, good to see you're not doing that... at least it appears you are not, anyway. 

Meet for coffee? Seriously? Lol Sorry, but I don't meet up with random people I don't know. And the only peopke I will Skype with, IF I do it at all, are established friends. So, since I don't know you, and obviously there is no plan to become friends, I will have to pass on that one.

Bored housewife? Hardly. With three children and a child I am also babysitting, bored is so far from the truth. Nice try, though. :rofl:

As for your final sentiment:

"Closed minds should come with closed mouths."

Perhaps you ought to take that to heart, yourself, before attacking someone who is commenting *solely* on what you post on this board. I don't really care who knows how much of your story. I don't care that Ele knows so much more of the backstory. The advice I have given, the comments I have made, have been based on YOUR posts, Sally. You don't want to share the entire story? Fine, you don't have to. But you do NOT have the right to personally attack me because I have stated something based on what YOU have written. You called me a bully. Sorry, Sally, but your remarks toward me were much more indicative of a bully than were mine. You might want to think about that. 

Good day to you.

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## fleek (Jul 20, 2016)

My cheating wife took a polygraph. We were discussing the idea of her taking one and I researched examiners in our area. She scheduled the exam and had the report sent to me. From what I gathered, the quality of the poly examiners varies greatly. The guy we used gave polys to sex offender parolees. The government puts some faith in the process. I will say the guy gave her 20 baseline questions, some of them repeated. He asked the 5 questions several times too. I did notice a lot of the folks did not have the sex offender licensing or licenses in several states. I believe there were some equipment requirements too. 

Anyway, I felt like I had a better picture of what went on after the exam.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

There is a reason poly’s aren’t admissible in court. That tells me all I need to know should I ever find myself in a situation where I would ‘need’ one. 

I have a feeling I would fail a poly regardless of what they asked me. I have severe anxiety in a lot of situations, but especially when I feel like I’m under scrutiny, in the spotlight, all eyes on me. I could probably take a test of 20 questions like “Is the sky blue”, “Is water wet”, “do bears sh*t in the woods”. If I answered yes to all of them, I would probably fail due to my anxiety. Heck, I’d like to take one just ‘for fun’ to see if I could pass questions like that, based on the kind of anxiety I deal with……maybe then people would be able to see how very real anxiety is. 

But, I digress. To me, they are completely unreliable. As many have said, you have to have a skilled polygrapher, assume that the person being polygraphed has not researched how to beat one, etc. I don’t think I’d put much stock in them. Regardless of it it came back that he ‘passed’ all questions, I’d still always wonder if he WAS honest, or just knew how to beat them. To me, it just wouldn’t be worth it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jacksgirl37 said:


> OMG. Then why is he already moved out of the house, the deed is now in MY name and we are meeting with our attorney this afternoon to discuss everything and put into action a legal separation, temporarily giving over his parental rites except for supervised visits and there is already 10,000 in my banking account that he has no access to? Has is that me grasping at straws "trying to give him an out"? He is already out.
> 
> No, my dear, this is called tying up lose ends and I want to make sure his little side dish does not get money hungry and come crawling to MY house for scraps. I left the scraps in a cheap apartment complex a few towns away and no, she cannot let the twins play with my son.
> 
> ...


This post is just rude and uncalled for.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So his mother bought the house outright when the two of you married. And she has not gifted you the house? 

What does she say about him giving up his parental rights?


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

fleek said:


> My cheating wife took a polygraph. We were discussing the idea of her taking one and I researched examiners in our area. She scheduled the exam and had the report sent to me. From what I gathered, the quality of the poly examiners varies greatly. The guy we used gave polys to sex offender parolees. The government puts some faith in the process. I will say the guy gave her 20 baseline questions, some of them repeated. He asked the 5 questions several times too. I did notice a lot of the folks did not have the sex offender licensing or licenses in several states. I believe there were some equipment requirements too.
> 
> Anyway, I felt like I had a better picture of what went on after the exam.


Thank you for your response. Did any come back inconclusive and was there a reason given, if so? If you do not mind me asking?


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## fleek (Jul 20, 2016)

No questions came back as inconclusive or with any deception indicated. The dude giving the exam was pretty hardcore. Ex-cop older guy that was super professional. 

Also, polygraphs are admissible in court in some states under certain conditions. They are also given for security clearances, like top secret, etc., by government agencies. Law enforcement uses them internally too. 

Like most things, the technology has gotten better in recent years. They are not so easy to beat unless you're a complete psychopath. Make sure your examiner has the latest gear, is properly licensed, and has some experience and you're good to go. 

I think the attitude about the poly says something too.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

Maricha75 said:


> Jacksgirl37 said:
> 
> 
> > OMG. Then why is he already moved out of the house, the deed is now in MY name and we are meeting with our attorney this afternoon to discuss everything and put into action a legal separation, temporarily giving over his parental rites except for supervised visits and there is already 10,000 in my banking account that he has no access to? Has is that me grasping at straws "trying to give him an out"? He is already out.
> ...


For someone who "does not care" you put a lot of time into my business. I'm not flattered. Frightened a little though. :/


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Jacksgirl37 said:
> 
> 
> > OMG. Then why is he already moved out of the house, the deed is now in MY name and we are meeting with our attorney this afternoon to discuss everything and put into action a legal separation, temporarily giving over his parental rites except for supervised visits and there is already 10,000 in my banking account that he has no access to? Has is that me grasping at straws "trying to give him an out"? He is already out.
> ...


So was hers and unnecessary to the thread. We were both at fault and two wrongs do not make a right.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> So his mother bought the house outright when the two of you married. And she has not gifted you the house?
> 
> What does she say about him giving up his parental rights?


Yes. The deed is now in MY name solely. 
She said it was our decision and our choice to make.


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## Jacksgirl37 (Aug 10, 2016)

fleek said:


> No questions came back as inconclusive or with any deception indicated. The dude giving the exam was pretty hardcore. Ex-cop older guy that was super professional.
> 
> Also, polygraphs are admissible in court in some states under certain conditions. They are also given for security clearances, like top secret, etc., by government agencies. Law enforcement uses them internally too.
> 
> ...


Sounds a lot like this guy: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/use-abuse-polygraph
Anyone who thinks they truly understand polygraphs, just by what 'their friend said' or 'what they see on TV' should take a look at this and do more research. 

I am glad to hear you had a positive outcome. How was your wife's attitude before the test and about the test? How was it after? Were you nervous or anxious? Did you feel confident with your polygrapher?

I did not feel confident with ours to begin with. He seemed more all about the money and did not explain a lot. He was not really able to read either of us either and did not have a lot of experience. 

Thank you for your answers and again, I am so happy for you that you had a good outcome.


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