# Painful orgasms



## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

This is mainly medical and I am aware that I need to talk to a GP about this but I wondered if anyone else has experienced it. Google came up with nothing.

*Seconds before orgasm* I get a shooting pain from my groin to my right side. I am then left with mild back pain for a few minutes afterwards, it is tender rather than stabbing. The pain kills the orgasm dead or it becomes very weak and short. This has happened consistently about 6 times in a row. During the day there are no symptoms at all - just a second or two before orgasm. 

Anyone else experienced this.

(Yes I will visit a GP but I like to be armed with some possibilities to talk over with him).

TYx


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

peacem said:


> This is mainly medical and I am aware that I need to talk to a GP about this but I wondered if anyone else has experienced it. Google came up with nothing.
> 
> *Seconds before orgasm* I get a shooting pain from my groin to my right side. I am then left with mild back pain for a few minutes afterwards, it is tender rather than stabbing. The pain kills the orgasm dead or it becomes very weak and short. This has happened consistently about 6 times in a row. During the day there are no symptoms at all - just a second or two before orgasm.
> 
> ...


 @peacem, I'd get to a doctor immediately. 

I'm no professional, but it sounds (?) like something in the nervous system. Do you have sciatica by any chance? Shooting pains are its MO. 

If it's not something the doc is confident about diagnosing, he/she may recommend an MRI.

I hope there is a simple explanation. I have personally never experienced what you described.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> This is mainly medical and I am aware that I need to talk to a GP about this but I wondered if anyone else has experienced it. Google came up with nothing.
> 
> *Seconds before orgasm* I get a shooting pain from my groin to my right side. I am then left with mild back pain for a few minutes afterwards, it is tender rather than stabbing. The pain kills the orgasm dead or it becomes very weak and short. This has happened consistently about 6 times in a row. During the day there are no symptoms at all - just a second or two before orgasm.
> 
> ...



Is your back arched or is your pelvis tilted upward? These are opposing positions just to be clear.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Is your back arched or is your pelvis tilted upward? These are opposing positions just to be clear.


Arched


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> I get a shooting pain from my groin to my right side. I am then left with mild back pain for a few minutes afterwards.


A shooting pain that is then associated with back pain sounds like something is suddenly compressing a nerve. It is possible that the muscle contractions associated with an orgasm could be triggering nerve trauma associated with a back injury (herniated disc) that is otherwise dormant during the day. As someone else mentioned, the sciatic nerve seems rather suspect. 

Another possibility could be that if you are dieting to loose weight that your body may be low on fluids needed for electrolytes like sodium, potassium, and/or other salts. Before having sex again, try drinking a sports drink a half hour beforehand and see if that helps. A simple solution, but very possible. Muscle spasms (such as an orgasm) combined with mild dehydration are the perfect storm to cause a sudden cramp in you body's muscle/nervous system.

Hope that helps,
Badsanta


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

@Satya @badsanta

Thank you! Satya forced me to research the sciatic nerve and blow me down I have had pain in my tailbone for months, if I sit for too long it travels down my right leg. It appears that the sciatic nerve travels to the right hand side of the lower back - right where I get the pain. So googling 'sciatic nerve and orgasms' there are lots of other experiences of this sensation.

Off to docs tomorrow if I can get an appointment. H given me a rub over with the Doxy and it has helped with tailbone ache. Will also try with positions. Embarrassing thing to talk about with a doctor . Oh well.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

No reason to feel embarrassed, @peacem, they've heard it all. 

Keep us posted!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> Arched


Sciatica.

If you are seeing a doc today you will probably be sent for PT. Since the shooting pain only happens during extreme arch just as you reach orgasm and not during any other activity you will probably be sent for PT. 

But if the sciatica is killing your ability to orgasm, or orgasm fully, you might want to consider a chiropractor too. I hear chiropractors can achieve great results quicker, but without PT to strengthen core as spine gets realigned results won't be long lasting.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Satya said:


> No reason to feel embarrassed, @peacem, they've heard it all.
> 
> Keep us posted!


 @peacem Any updates?

Hopefully it is nothing. The funniest medical situation I ever got myself into was just a few days after a major surgery. I woke up to a really really bad pain in my left side. I tried rolling around and shifting positions and sometimes it would go away, but when I would roll back into certain position the pain would come back extremely strong. I just knew something was horribly wrong. I had a followup with the surgical team that day, and I told this story to my doctor and he looked really worried. But then he calmed down and died laughing once I told him that my kids had brought me a happy meal toy to help cheer up daddy and make me feel better. My two-year-old son placed it in the bed next to me so that I would find it when I woke up, but instead I rolled over and slept on top of it for half the night.

It was one that looked about like this, so you can only imagine the kind of pain it caused me!


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Priceless!




badsanta said:


> @peacem Any updates?
> 
> Hopefully it is nothing. The funniest medical situation I ever got myself into was just a few days after a major surgery. I woke up to a really really bad pain in my left side. I tried rolling around and shifting positions and sometimes it would go away, but when I would roll back into certain position the pain would come back extremely strong. I just knew something was horribly wrong. I had a followup with the surgical team that day, and I told this story to my doctor and he looked really worried. But then he calmed down and died laughing once I told him that my kids had brought me a happy meal toy to help cheer up daddy and make me feel better. My two-year-old son placed it in the bed next to me so that I would find it when I woke up, but instead I rolled over and slept on top of it for half the night.
> 
> It was one that looked about like this, so you can only imagine the kind of pain it caused me!


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

@badsanta - ouch!

Probably a slipped disc that is causing the pain (sciatica). I think I need to go back because I'm getting weakness in my right arm and weird twitching on my lip. Sometimes the pain will suddenly go to my left knee but just a quick stab that makes my leg buckle (attractive look as I'm walking down the street :surprise:.)

Heat mat takes the pain away but orgasms still painful. Laid off it for over a week now but this morning still the shooting pain. It kills it right at the crucial moment. Frustrated and going right off sex. I have been mustering up some enthusiasm for H but he knows I'm not that into it so has been sleeping in spare room. 

I know I shouldn't grumble....(bet you wished you never asked :grin2.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> @badsanta - ouch!
> 
> Probably a slipped disc that is causing the pain (sciatica). I think I need to go back because I'm getting weakness in my right arm and weird twitching on my lip. Sometimes the pain will suddenly go to my left knee but just a quick stab that makes my leg buckle (attractive look as I'm walking down the street :surprise:.)
> 
> ...


From all my experience with sciatica, and I had a rough few months with it so bad that I could almost not even walk, here is what I learned:



Stretches are probably the best thing you can do. Read up on all the stretches that help with nerve pain associated with sciatica. My favorite is one where you bend your knee and then pull your foot towards your face while laying on your back. While you are doing this you use your other leg to put additional pressure on the leg you are pulling towards your face, and you wrap your hands under the knee of your other leg providing the extra pressure and pull it towards you. The result is that it twists your leg as you foot comes towards your face and stretches out all the areas where the sciatic nerve travels. 
Eat anti-inflammatory foods like pineapple and ginger. Inflammation is the worst enemy for you nerves. So anything you can do to prevent that really helps. 
Pay extremely close attention to what chairs you sit in. Do NOT sit in any chairs that tend to aggravate this nerve. I found my office chair was likely the culprit of most of my problems, because it did not fully support my back while I was sitting. I invested in a much better chair that I sit in all day for work. It has about 20 levers underneath that let me make all kinds of adjustments, and the padding on my back is super firm and thick! 
At the end of the day, exercising your core muscles is what you need to do to help prevent things from coming back once yo get better.


Hope that helps.

Also if you are using a heating pad, you should alternate between hot and cold. So use an ice pack every so often as well.

Badsanta


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

badsanta said:


> From all my experience with sciatica, and I had a rough few months with it so bad that I could almost not even walk, here is what I learned:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Cheers will try that. Pain is not that bad just achy. But the orgasms really, really hurt but its just for a second or two. Problem is there is only one way to test if I am getting better. So I tried it this morning as my back is much better than it was - hoping to have sex tonight. But no, it nearly floored me. :frown2: 

After everything we have been through and everything going so well I can't quite believe we are back to separate beds. But I guess that is life and it will get better eventually. 

I don't think I am anywhere near as bad as you were - but can I ask how long it took to mend?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> I don't think I am anywhere near as bad as you were - but can I ask how long it took to mend?


If you have nerve damage/trauma that needs to heal, that can take months. 

Try being completely relaxed while you orgasm. Not easy but it can be done. Breath deep, relax your back, and as an orgasm approaches do the opposite of contracting you kegel muscles - push a little as if you are trying to make yourself pee faster. Don't over stimulate yourself and just be extremely gentle. 

It is also possible that it could make your orgasm super intense and instead of being floored by pain, you will hit the roof instead. In the event that happens this post is set to automatically delete and I will have no recollection of this advice.

Badsanta


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

sorry for your pain.

have some sciatica issues as well, and have had good luck with massage therapy (a licensed massage therapist specializing in therapeutic massage), stretching/yoga, and Turmeric supplements.

However, I don't have orgasm pain (anymore, since my IUD removal) or a slipped disc, so YMMV.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

sixty-eight said:


> sorry for your pain.
> 
> have some sciatica issues as well, and have had good luck with massage therapy (a licensed massage therapist specializing in therapeutic massage), stretching/yoga, and Turmeric supplements.
> 
> However, I don't have orgasm pain (anymore, since my IUD removal) or a slipped disc, so YMMV.


Thank you. You used to have orgasm pain from sciatica?


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## sixty-eight (Oct 2, 2015)

peacem said:


> Thank you. You used to have orgasm pain from sciatica?


no, i used to have orgasm pain that i'm 99% sure was caused by my mirena IUD. got it taken out, issue resolved. That's why i clicked through, i was curious.

I have unrelated sciatica pain, that's been an issue since i was pregnant with my oldest (now 8yo). It usually didn't interfere with sex or orgasms. Maybe it would have been an issue, in certain positions? but Ex was quick on the draw, so rarely was a problem. 

It's mostly under control now, as long as I keep up with my current solutions. I hope you find something useful!


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

sixty-eight said:


> no, i used to have orgasm pain that i'm 99% sure was caused by my mirena IUD. got it taken out, issue resolved. That's why i clicked through, i was curious.
> 
> I have unrelated sciatica pain, that's been an issue since i was pregnant with my oldest (now 8yo). It usually didn't interfere with sex or orgasms. Maybe it would have been an issue, in certain positions? but Ex was quick on the draw, so rarely was a problem.
> 
> It's mostly under control now, as long as I keep up with my current solutions. I hope you find something useful!


Thanks. I was reading about tumeric last night. Will give that a go.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Did your doc put you on a course of steroids? If not, ask. Steroids will absolutely help reduce inflammation.

Now you have weakness, numbness, and tingling in other places which means the nerve is swelling so the steroids are really something you doc should consider.

Nerve inflammation takes months to calm. Once the steroids have been tried, it might be helpful to take Lyrica which is specifically for nerve pain. I take lyrica but not every day. For me, it doesn't stop the actual nerve pain, but it kind of relaxes the muscle tension as a result of nerve pain. 

Physical Therapy is vital! You will not improve without it. You should have a PT specifically design a routine exactly for you. 

That is just so rotten that after everything your marriage and sex life have been through that your sciatica is killing your orgasm and causing painful sex. I don't think it's possible to learn to keep to a specific body position during orgasm, especially when it's not the position that naturally occurs. I arch too during orgasm and have tried, unsuccessfully, to not arch. Oddly, I feel no pain during orgasm or while aroused. But 15-20 minutes later I feel the pain. Still worth it, IMO. I rarely get the shooting nerve zing but when I do I am down for the count because once the zing is over there is a deep throbbing ache that doesn't go away.

Heating pads and laying down with back flat, knees elevated above the head and feet elevated above the knees is the only position that alleviates the sharper pain. Also, when you sit, if you sit at a desk during the day, make sure your knees are above your hips and the seat back positions you to support the lumbar region. I have this seat cushion that allows me to sit without putting any pressure on my coccyx, which prevents the lumbar area from being compacted. I take it with me when I fly. I also use my carry on bag as a foot rest so my knees are above my hips.

https://shop.baelwellness.com/produ...=18157812801&gclid=CMPi0tmQ1tACFY9MDQodnO8ETg


Welcome to middle age!


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Assuming you are female, I would have your ovaries checked.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Did your doc put you on a course of steroids? If not, ask. Steroids will absolutely help reduce inflammation.
> 
> Now you have weakness, numbness, and tingling in other places which means the nerve is swelling so the steroids are really something you doc should consider.
> 
> ...


I am going back on Monday if I can get an appointment. He never mentioned steroids - will talk about that but want to avoid it if I can as I have seen women balloon on steroids. I think the issue is that I have mild backache (the type you get if you have been stood for too long) and shooting pains that are moderate but not awful (I have been ignoring them for months). The really awful pain is only when I orgasm, and even then it is just a second or two. So I think he is thinking ibuprofen is enough for my mild symptoms. He also told me to exercise and not sit down so much. My mother had the same thing and she wasn't prescribed anything but painkillers and exercises.

There is a very good chiropractor in our village which I think might be quicker than waiting for PT appointments (everything other than emergencies takes forever on the NHS) but I will mention that to him and see what he says. I've been doing yoga and rubbing in devils claw - not sure if it helps.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> I am going back on Monday if I can get an appointment. He never mentioned steroids - will talk about that but want to avoid it if I can as I have seen women balloon on steroids. I think the issue is that I have mild backache (the type you get if you have been stood for too long) and shooting pains that are moderate but not awful (I have been ignoring them for months). The really awful pain is only when I orgasm, and even then it is just a second or two. So I think he is thinking ibuprofen is enough for my mild symptoms. He also told me to exercise and not sit down so much. My mother had the same thing and she wasn't prescribed anything but painkillers and exercises.
> 
> There is a very good chiropractor in our village which I think might be quicker than waiting for PT appointments (everything other than emergencies takes forever on the NHS) but I will mention that to him and see what he says. I've been doing yoga and rubbing in devils claw - not sure if it helps.



Yoga is excellent! I've heard very good things about chiropractors so that sounds like a good option for you.

The steroids would only be for 7 or 9 days. You take mega dose for 3 days, then each subsequent day you take less and less. Not long enough to swell up.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

there are devices designed to help people like you to have sex in different positions, positions that do not cause the pain.

One is a simple wedge shaped pillow. Another is a suspension harness that you sit in like a child's swing, and you have sex fwith him beneath you...with no body gyrations. And then you might just simply change the sex position...if misionary is screwing up your back, possibly doggie style, or cowgirl, or standing up...

My experience with such body pains is that your body it telling you to hit the gym, and start exercising. I had some serious arm movement limitations that caused a lot of pain. After lifting weights for years, that pain is simply a thing of the past. i have much more flexibility now, and my arm is much stronger.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Discovered that if I orgasm completely upright there is no pain - so that is something.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

peacem said:


> Discovered that if I orgasm completely upright there is no pain - so that is something.




Shower sex :smthumbup:

Get well soon, peace. I can testify to the truth of pinched nerves taking a very long time to fully heal. I've had one in my shoulder for 13 months now. I hover around the 97-99% recovered mark.


Like someone said upthread, you could look into sex furniture (Liberator), some of it is pricey; but might be worth it for you.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

I do this thing with my wife, when she is getting dressed. I sit on the edge of the bed, and that puts my mouth right at her nipple height when she is standing. I then alternately lick/suck her nipple while I play with the other one, and finger her between her legs. The combination is a quick but intense orgasm in no time at all. Have your partner try that!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> Discovered that if I orgasm completely upright there is no pain - so that is something.


So before you were mostly hanging upside down off the edge of the bed with your husband grabbing you from the ankles?

>

But seriously, I have read that some women masturbate almost exclusively while laying on their stomach. If that is something you have never tried before, it may help take stress off you back.

I Can Only Masturbate to Orgasm Face Down on My Stomach | Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

...oh wait, that does not sound like it will help. But I'll toss the idea out there in case it helps your creativity.

Badsanta


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

badsanta said:


> So before you were mostly hanging upside down off the edge of the bed with your husband grabbing you from the ankles?
> 
> >


Now you mention it, maybe it was that handstand sex that did my back in ...not doing that again :frown2:. 

Kinky upright sex from now on.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

peacem said:


> Discovered that if I orgasm completely upright there is no pain - so that is something.


Well done! So good of your husband to keep experimenting to find a work around.

I was wondering how you were dealing with randiness, guess I know now. >


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Well done! So good of your husband to keep experimenting to find a work around.
> 
> I was wondering how you were dealing with randiness, guess I know now. >


Actually I had discover it on my own. Once I worked it out (on my knees, legs slightly apart) I told him what to do. He was basically put off by me get hurt, I was going off sex because I wasn't getting an orgasm so we were sleeping in separate rooms (which is our number one rule - no sleeping separately). 

Going to Drs this afternoon will let you know what he says about steroids. Thanks for listening (feel bad because as I read about herniated discs I know there are so many worse off than me, my orgasms seem rather trivial).


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

peacem said:


> Actually I had discover it on my own. Once I worked it out (on my knees, legs slightly apart) I told him what to do. *He was basically put off by me get hurt,* I was going off sex because I wasn't getting an orgasm so we were sleeping in separate rooms (which is our number one rule - no sleeping separately).
> 
> Going to Drs this afternoon will let you know what he says about steroids. Thanks for listening (feel bad because as I read about herniated discs I know there are so many worse off than me, my orgasms seem rather trivial).


Don't underestimate your husband's desire to NOT hurt you. Even once you are better, he may still refrain from trying to connect to you out of fear that he could injure you. 

So don't hesitate to handcuff him to the bed and take matters into your own hands (pun intended).


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Different Dr now says probably a torn ligament leading to sciatica. He upped my painkillers to co codamol + ibuprofen as he said that would aid healing and would probably be better in 2-3 weeks. He said after that he would consider steroids and PT. 

Weirdly he wasn't interested in my sex life at all (I think I have been spending too much time on SIM) :grin2:. 

So I'll give it 3 weeks before going back and getting a chiropractor involved. 
@badsanta - ice packs seemed to take the ache away! Stupid me never thought of using ice.


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