# Well, he had move on



## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

Just found out last night from the company's driver (that used to drive me and my son too) that the OW had stayed overnight at the apartment. He was shocked when he saw both of them walked out of the lobby. They went to a bank first then the OW get off somewhere, H went to work. 

I felt numb when I heard the driver's confession but surprisingly no more tears...

What I don't understand is H still managed to say he still loves me in his email and he thinks there's still hope to fix our marriage, that the OW was just a 'friend' he used to confided about our issues who later started to have feelings for him and he's avoiding her. Sadly, I almost fell for that and was beginning to questioned if I should take him back for the sake of our son or not. 

Now that I know better, I feel like I can't bring myself to let our son spend a night with him at the apartment like he and I discussed before. Not only because his previous repeated threats to take our son from me, and that he holds both passports (our son is dual citizens) from me for 'security' he said, but the facts that girl was already there at the apt acting as she's the 'wife'. Am I wrong to feel this way? I told him he's free to come to my parents and see his son but that only made him furious and said I have no rights to dictate how he's going to see his son.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

I don't think you are wrong to feel this way. The child mediator in our case warned my wife about introducing the OM too soon. It has a negative impact on kids. She already introduced him to them the next day after getting me kicked out with a bogus restraining order. They basically live together now and I have no power to stop my kids from going over there because of the court ordered 50-50 visitation. She lied about him living there too......

....just be glad you have a choice right now.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

The passport issue complicates things. Perhaps you could exchange the passport when delivering your son--dad gives you the passport when he has the child, and vice-versa.

Yes, it is not healthy for kids to be exposed to a "revolving door" of partners--but it is more unhealthy for them to be deprived of time with a parent.


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## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

Thanks Help & Sisters,
Problem is his non-stop lying is making me sick to my stomach. Bout an hour ago he sent me an email basically saying he's not screwing around when he clearly is and has been continuing the affair with that girl.

Sisters, I like that idea of exchanging passports but now my parents are furious at him and since this is their first grandson and they've been financially helping so much they said they don't want their grandson to go there. I know it is important for my son to continues his relationship with his father...I just still can't stomach the thought of exposing him to his Dad's behaviors.


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## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

Help239 said:


> I don't think you are wrong to feel this way. The child mediator in our case warned my wife about introducing the OM too soon. It has a negative impact on kids. She already introduced him to them the next day after getting me kicked out with a bogus restraining order. They basically live together now and I have no power to stop my kids from going over there because of the court ordered 50-50 visitation. She lied about him living there too......
> 
> ....just be glad you have a choice right now.


That's what I'm afraid of, him being exposed to the OW so soon. He'd be confused especially since I do believe he sense something is not right. For a 3 years old little boy who cupped his mommy's face with both hands and said "Mommy's sad...wipe it Mommy!" just break my heart more than the affairs itself. 

I know I need to sit down and discuss about child custody as soon as I can. I have just started reading a lot more about child custody.

Thank you again.


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## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

He just sent me an email basically blaming everything on me and still denies any wrong doing on his part. Said I've been planning all this for months and he found a lawyer's name card. WTH? Even put on the last line "would it make you happy if I walked out on the balcony and just jumped?" 

I really am so tired of his mind games. He always done this before, making me feel bad and taking him back but not this time...I have made up my mind.


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