# Pregnancy and sex



## Cowgirlanne82 (May 27, 2012)

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately about our sex life. I am 3 months pregnant, in my first trimester and sick 90% of the time. I am also going through a stressful period, we moved in with my sister to take care of her kids because she has leukemia, and is gone a month at a time. It's a lot to deal with. Then add our almost 2 year old to the mix who isn't dealing with the changes well. I spend the majority of my day cleaning up after kids, and in the bathroom, running errands and taking care of every thing and everyone. 

Our sex life has been put on the back burner because A. it really hurts me. It really causes a lot of pain during, then after I cramp with contractions for 2 days. That takes away the mood. Well apparently my hormones are too much, and he's horny, like hornier than before. I was helping him get off, but feeling so sick at night, and then having our daughter in the room with us (small house) and many ears, I kind of feel uncomfortable doing it. So when he doesn't get it, he turns into a moody jerk. Another huge turn off for me. Instead of supporting me, helping me with our crazy hectic life he's adding to the stress. The more pressure I get from him, the further it pushes me away. I have assured him that this isn't going to last forever. That I am just pregnant. I can't help the way I feel. 

Should I give him pity sex, deal with the pain just to get him off my butt and case, deal with the pain? If I do that I feel like we are making sex a "chore" and it should be an action of our love and desire for each other. 

We are fighting so much now that I fear this is going to end in a disaster.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

No... don't just have sex to get him off your case. I understand where your comming from.. Have you told him that it causes you pain? Have you told him that since being pregnant your desire for intercourse has gone down? My hubby was frusterated at first with the first pregnancy until i told him WHY I didn't want to do anything sexual. He had a hard time understanding at first... but eventually he did. Sure he may get frusterated but he is going to have to learn that it is not going to be all about him... he needs to care about how YOU feel as well.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why are you having pain? It's not something I experienced in pregnancy so just asking. I would talk to a doctor about it to make sure everything is ok.

YOu two need to figure this out and it could lead to a lot more problems in your marriage. Could the two of you get away once in a while, even for a few hours.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Cowgirlanne82 said:


> My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately about our sex life. I am 3 months pregnant, in my first trimester and sick 90% of the time. I am also going through a stressful period, we moved in with my sister to take care of her kids because she has leukemia, and is gone a month at a time. It's a lot to deal with. Then add our almost 2 year old to the mix who isn't dealing with the changes well. I spend the majority of my day cleaning up after kids, and in the bathroom, running errands and taking care of every thing and everyone.
> 
> Our sex life has been put on the back burner because A. it really hurts me. It really causes a lot of pain during, then after I cramp with contractions for 2 days. That takes away the mood. Well apparently my hormones are too much, and he's horny, like hornier than before. I was helping him get off, but feeling so sick at night, and then having our daughter in the room with us (small house) and many ears, I kind of feel uncomfortable doing it. So when he doesn't get it, he turns into a moody jerk. Another huge turn off for me. Instead of supporting me, helping me with our crazy hectic life he's adding to the stress. The more pressure I get from him, the further it pushes me away. I have assured him that this isn't going to last forever. That I am just pregnant. I can't help the way I feel.
> 
> ...


You should tell your OBGYN that sex makes you cramp for 2 days after.. At this early I wouldn't think you should be cramping after sex. The Dr may tell you not to have sex.. That will get your H off your case about you not wanting to have sex.(I wouldn't want to have sex either)


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

ladybird said:


> You should tell your OBGYN that sex makes you cramp for 2 days after.. At this early I wouldn't think you should be cramping after sex. The Dr may tell you not to have sex.. That will get your H off your case about you not wanting to have sex.(I wouldn't want to have sex either)


Considering the stress of helping her sister, and everything else...it's no wonder she's having pain/cramping. Stress will do that too! I agree tho, go to the OBGYN. Tell him/her what's going on. It's likely the doc will say NO SEX..at least for now.


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