# From Amicable to Contested Divorce



## lady323 (Nov 12, 2010)

I apologize in advance as this will be long..but needed to write it down and get it out so I will try to summarize what has happened. 

We are a couple in the state of Massachusetts that have been married for 6 years. Husband told me he wanted a divorce November 2, 2012 and I told him I wanted to work it out but no go. He originally said he didn't want anything--just leave what he came in with and that he would sign any paperwork I needed. So that is what I went to the lawyer with.

During the 6 years we were married we have lived in the house that I bought prior to meeting him. When he moved in we did some renovations and he took $150K out of his retirement to renovate the house and I took out a loan for $40K. As I felt guilty that he paid for the majority of the renovations I did a quitclaim and added his name to the deed. He however, hasn't worked in the 6 years of our marriage and has not contributed to the mortgage or any household day-to-day expenses/bills.

So when I saw my lawyer in December for the start of the separation agreement, I told him we wanted an amicable divorce and that husband said he would sign any paperwork, i.e. quitclaim. The lawyer said that in Massachusetts all property has to be settled in order to have an amicable divorce. So when the separation agreement arrived it said "* The husband relinquishes any rights to the real estate which the parties own. The wife shall be responsible for all debts regarding such property as she owned it many years prior to the marriage. The husband has the right to remain in the property at the sole discretion of the wife.(I asked to have this put in as I knew he didn't have a place) The husband will convey to the wife any interest that he has in the above real estate forthwith". * 

He has been in Canada November 23- January 14 and then again since February 7th, so this is going on via email. I originally discussed with my lawyer the changes husband wanted on 2/14 and husband called this past Tuesday, 2/26 to ask what was happening. I told him and he asked me to scan and email him the agreement with my comments from the lawyer which I did. This morning husband emailed me back and one of the first sentences in the email was "Seems it took me a long time to send to me - as I am sure you know things WON'T BE ACCEPTABLE to me.

He then went on to say that the property would be settled at a later date and now he doesn't want to do the quitclaim and said "*Seeing I need to sort out the house issue NOW, he wants half of the current value which would be approximately $144K.* I do not have this kind of money as I just bought a new car which really has put me at my limit and I know I won't be able to get another loan. 

Husband has said if this is not acceptable then we don't have anything to talk about and will not discuss these matters with me personally anymore as I might accuse him of harassing or intimidating me to accept his terms, etc.

I just don't want this to drag out and I am constantly crying and not sleeping over this since November and I feel it’s now affecting my work and friendship with people. I have plans to call a counselor but in the meantime I just needed to vent and get input as to how am I going to deal with the $144K he wants as I don’t want to sell the house. Does my husband have a leg to stand on as far as forcing the issue of me selling the house and giving him half the value??

Thank you for your patiences and any input would be appreciated.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

What does your attorney say?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How much equity do you have in your house?

C


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

Also, do you have kids?

Is selling the house a consideration?


Pb.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

Current value -what is owed =? /2 =?


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Said she'd rather not sell the house, guys
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

old timer said:


> Said she'd rather not sell the house, guys
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ah, there it is... Sorry. I reread it three times just to make sure, and missed it every time. Blecch.


Pb.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If she's got equity in the house, she might not need to sell it. Get a loan based on the equity.

He can only get that much money from the settlement if there's twice that value in (assets - liabilities). So she needs to extract some of that equity out, preferably without selling the house.

As OT says... What does your lawyer say about this, OP? He should have a better idea of what's fair.

C


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

PBear said:


> If she's got equity in the house, she might not need to sell it. Get a loan based on the equity.
> 
> He can only get that much money from the settlement if there's twice that value in (assets - liabilities). So she needs to extract some of that equity out, preferably without selling the house.
> 
> ...


Good point... In most divorce cases, it's not the _value_ of the house that's important, but the _equity_.

A similar things had happened to me... My STBXW and I were going along nicely with an amicable divorce, when all of a sudden she decided she wanted everything, including the house.

She let it drop as soon as she talked to her lawyer and he explained to her how it works. She realized our house had negative equity, and how much it would actually cost to pay the mortgage, insurance, utilities, repairs, upkeep and other associated bills, and just as suddenly she wasn't interested anymore.


Pb.


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## lady323 (Nov 12, 2010)

Thanks for everyone's input. 

We do not have any children involved and the only issue is the property. There are no joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine which includes all bills including my credit cards and everything relating to the house - mortgage, electrical, gas, cable, etc.

My lawyer is in court this morning but I have left a message for him that I needed to talk to him today as in the husband's email he said "*If I don't hear "valid response" from me by end of day today he will take that as NO REPLY and he will then decide rest of actions from there.* BTW he has no lawyer as he didn't want one.

Again, I don't want to sell the house and the way the housing market is, I don't believe I have equity in the house.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

lady323 said:


> Thanks for everyone's input.
> 
> We do not have any children involved and the only issue is the property. There are no joint accounts. He pays his bills and I pay mine which includes all bills including my credit cards and everything relating to the house - mortgage, electrical, gas, cable, etc.
> 
> ...


If you have no equity in the house, then the value of it is zero. He is entitled to half of zero. Write him a check.

For example... If your house could be sold for $300,000, but you owe $250,000 on the mortgage, the amount of equity left is $50,000. That amount would be split in half, between the two owners. So somehow, you'd have to come up with $25,000 to buy him out of his half. In some cases, you could talk to your bank and they would loan you the money, possibly bumping up your mortgage to $275,000. 

But if there's no equity in the house, his claim for $144k is ludicrious, and I'd let him beat his head against a legal wall till he clues in. I think you're letting your STBXH drive things too much, and you need to start taking control. If you need to, tell him to talk to your lawyer. He can get his knickers in a twist all he likes, about "deciding his actions"... But right now, he's just trying to intimidate you with BS. And it seems to be working.

C


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

lady323 said:


> Again, I don't want to sell the house and the way the housing market is, I don't believe I have equity in the house.


Your just "believing" there is no equity won't cut it. You'll have to come up with some plausible supporting evidence as to market value. Obviously, a formal appraisal is best, but someone will have to pay for it.

The average suggested listing price from several qualified Realtors could possibly be acceptable. Ask your lawyer about this.


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

old timer said:


> Your just "believing" there is no equity won't cut it. You'll have to come up with some plausible supporting evidence as to market value. Obviously, a formal appraisal is best, but someone will have to pay for it.
> 
> The average suggested listing price from several qualified Realtors could possibly be acceptable. Ask your lawyer about this.


Real Estate, Homes for Sale, Recent Sales, Apartment Rentals - Zillow is a good place to start to get a general idea of the value of the home... Though, I wouldn't necessarily use it as the sort of evidence Old Timer is talking about.

Also, something I'm not clear on... _"As I felt guilty that he paid for the majority of the renovations I did a quitclaim and added his name to the deed."_ So, you both have your names on the deed... but it's just your name on the mortgage, yes?

Massachusetts's martial property laws look a lot like Illinois's where I live... Basically, if either or both of you acquires something -- property, assets or debt -- during the marriage, it's considered marital property and both of you have a potential claim to it. If you acquired it before the marriage, though, it's yours and yours alone.

You got an odd situation... You bought the house and got the mortgage on your own before the marriage. Normally, that means the house is yours, with no question. But... You later put his name on the deed and he paid for renovations, which could complicate things.

So yeah... Find out the actual value of your home. Double check the marital property laws. Ask your lawyer for advice. Kick ass.


Pb.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Yep, OP's adding him to the deed def complicates things.


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