# Evidence she leaves from work early



## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

My wife is supposed to get off work at 6pm.
I've been seeing on her clock out online portal where on Saturdays she will leave at 3pm. Or 4 pm.
And get home at 645 pm like she normally would if she left work at 6 pm.
When she gets home she doesn't even mention leaving early. 

She is a very shy homebody. Doesn't have female friends here. She has one make friend a co worker.

She told me last night he is out for two weeks with covid. So on Monday when she's off she said she wants him to text her his address n she can leave grocery shopping outside his door. As he can't leave his house cause of covid. 

When she leaves work early she isn't going to get her hair or nails done. Neither is she clothes shopping. And she will come home and eat. So I know she isn't eating out there on a date. Very hard to tell what's going on

My next step is GPS.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> My wife is supposed to get off work at 6pm.
> I've been seeing on her clock out online portal where on Saturdays she will leave at 3pm. Or 4 pm.
> And get home at 645 pm like she normally would if she left work at 6 pm.
> When she gets home she doesn't even mention leaving early.
> ...


Have you checked her phone logs to see if she is texting someone frequently?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You said she is shy...

Shy can be that sly.
The lady may be demure, cute coy.

It is too early to call her a cheat.
Put your detective hat on.

It is nice of her wanting to feed her 'friend'....

They may be too chummy.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Big red flag. Check your phone bill. Look for the truth. Not what you want to see.

*Shes spending 2-3 hours somewhere. *Right now you are in denial. Like most your heart does not want to believe what your brain is telling you. We’re just friends is the biggest lie told here. Better wake up !!!

Sorry you’re her but you’d better get on this ASAP.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I don't have a way of checking her phone log. Our phone company doesn't provide paper logs.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

The most expedient way of finding out where she goes is to plant a gps tracker. It can tell you her location better than the folks on this site. Make like Nike and just do it.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> I don't have a way of checking her phone log. Our phone company doesn't provide paper logs.


You don’t have an account to log onto?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Honestly, I'd hire a PI asap to find out where she goes for those three hours. Contact one tomorrow.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

shakazulu2420 said:


> My wife is supposed to get off work at 6pm.
> I've been seeing on her clock out online portal where on Saturdays she will leave at 3pm. Or 4 pm.
> And get home at 645 pm like she normally would if she left work at 6 pm.
> When she gets home she doesn't even mention leaving early.
> ...


She may not be eating but it’s still a date.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Yes she spending two hrs somewhere.
She mentioned before she finds her boss cute and joked she'd like to f*** him. But I don't see that being the reality.

This co worker is whom she has been mentioning a little more of late. 
This co worker has no family here. He is from another nation. 

I have to fit the GPS cause why not say I've left work at 3 or 4 and I'm going to swing by the grocery store or Lowe's to check on porting soil etc etc etc 
Why come home at 645 pm when you left work three hrs ago


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

shakazulu2420 said:


> I don't have a way of checking her phone log. Our phone company doesn't provide paper logs.


Go into the online account. The info will be there. Text, call and data usage.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Livvie said:


> Honestly, I'd hire a PI asap to find out where she goes for those three hours. Contact one tomorrow.


Wish I had the cash for that. I'll invest in a car GPS very soon


Marc878 said:


> Go into the online account. The info will be there. Text, call and data usage.


We use a smaller phone company. They don't have online logs


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> She may not be eating but it’s still a date.


True


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

VladDracul said:


> The most expedient way of finding out where she goes is to plant a gps tracker. It can tell you her location better than the folks on this site. Make like Nike and just do it.


Any suggestions on a good reliable one that's not expensive?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

If you’re gonna do a GPS I’d put a voice activated recorder in too. Velcro it under the front seat. You’ll get results fairly quickly I’d bet.

Sony makes a decent one thats not to expensive, get good batteries and turn off any sound indicators.
Do this quickly so you don’t linger in limbo.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> If you’re gonna do a GPS I’d put a voice activated recorder in too. Velcro it under the front seat. You’ll get results fairly quickly I’d bet.


Oh there are GPS with voice recorders???
Didn't know.
But how long is that effective for?
Can it run all day?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Yes, she is up to something. Get the facts prior to opening your mouth. Best advice I received five years ago was eyes open mouth shut. If you confront without the evidence, you drive the affair further underground making it difficult if not nearly impossible to prove.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

https://www.bestbuy.com/site/shop/voice-activated-digital-recorder



heres a list.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> So on Monday when she's off she said she wants him to text her his address n she can leave grocery shopping outside his door.


Why does SHE have to do that? He has no one else who can do it for him? What about grocery delivery from stores or instacart? There are so many grocery delivery options now and guess where they leave the groceries... at your door.



shakazulu2420 said:


> She mentioned before she finds her boss cute and joked she'd like to f*** him.


Yeah... um, nope. Normal people don't say that.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Yes, she is up to something. Get the facts prior to opening your mouth. Best advice I received five years ago was eyes open mouth shut. If you confront without the evidence, you drive the affair further underground making it difficult if not nearly impossible to prove.


Good advice. Mouth shut. Eyes and ears open. Workplace affairs are difficult at best.

Most will only admit to what you can prove. Hope we‘re wrong but it doesn’t look good.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Good advice. Mouth shut. Eyes and ears open. Workplace affairs are difficult at best.
> 
> Most will only admit to what you can prove. Hope we‘re wrong but it doesn’t look good.


I agree


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Good advice. Mouth shut. Eyes and ears open. Workplace affairs are difficult at best.
> 
> Most will only admit to what you can prove. Hope we‘re wrong but it doesn’t look good.


Yes it's very hard to catch work affairs


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

bobert said:


> Why does SHE have to do that? He has no one else who can do it for him? What about grocery delivery from stores or instacart? There are so many grocery delivery options now and guess where they leave the groceries... at your door.
> 
> 
> Yeah... um, nope. Normal people don't say that.


Eventually she did catch herself and mention that groceries do deliver. 
What struck me was when she said she'd ask him for his address of he was ok doing that, so she can drop off food to his house tomorrow Monday when she's off. 
He then text back saying he has food and appreciated the gesture


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> https://www.bestbuy.com/site/shop/voice-activated-digital-recorder
> 
> 
> 
> heres a list.


Thank you so very much


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Best indicator your spouse is cheating: you think they might be. 99.9 % accurate.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Yes, she is up to something. Get the facts prior to opening your mouth. Best advice I received five years ago was eyes open mouth shut. If you confront without the evidence, you drive the affair further underground making it difficult if not nearly impossible to prove.


Absolutely.

Never say anything till you have concrete backed up evidence. 
I'm not convinced she gets off three hrs early to sit in the work break room. 
Or to go gardening shopping.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Evinrude58 said:


> Best indicator your spouse is cheating: you think they might be. 99.9 % accurate.


Wow really?


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> Best indicator your spouse is cheating: you think they might be. 99.9 % accurate.


Standing ovation on this...Spot on!


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Torninhalf said:


> Standing ovation on this...Spot on!


Yeah. Pretty scary to imagine


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Eventually she did catch herself and mention that groceries do deliver.
> What struck me was when she said she'd ask him for his address of he was ok doing that, so she can drop off food to his house tomorrow Monday when she's off.
> *He then text back saying he has food and appreciated the gesture*


How do you know he texted that back? Doesn’t sound like he is into her much...


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She mentioned before she finds her boss cute and joked she'd like to f*** him. But I don't see that being the reality.


What makes you think she was joking?



shakazulu2420 said:


> Any suggestions on a good reliable one that's not expensive?


You can't go wrong with a Whistle or Fi pet tracker. It'll set you back about $130-$150 plus a monthly "tracking charge" of about $6-10. Either one will put you within 5-10 ft of its location and tracks in real time along with a history. I've used one on my Redbone hound for over three years and its neat to pull up a cell phone screen and watch her move about in real time on a map.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Absolutely.
> 
> Never say anything till you have concrete backed up evidence.
> I'm not convinced she gets off three hrs early to sit in the work break room.
> Or to go gardening shopping.


I’d bet she doesn’t bring much home from shopping does she?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Eventually she did catch herself and mention that groceries do deliver.
> What struck me was when she said she'd ask him for his address of he was ok doing that, so she can drop off food to his house tomorrow Monday when she's off.
> He then text back saying he has food and appreciated the gesture


At this time you just don’t know but he could just be a ploy for time and the boss maybe the main man.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

In android, there is “Google’s find my device” you will need the account’s id/pw. There is also a notification on the device when it’s been located. This notification can be turned off although it was hard to find and different on each of my devices. Make sure you test that this is off b4 locating her.
I have done this to my wife and my phones, not for any lack of trust but just for logistics.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> I’d bet she doesn’t bring much home from shopping does she?


Nope not much


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> At this time you just don’t know but he could just be a ploy for time and the boss maybe the main man.


Hmmmmmm good point there


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Do you have access to her phone?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Don't be fooled with the "need address to deliver food". She may actually don't know where he lives. Nevertheless, when I was in the business, it was common for married chicks to have a "love nest" at a girlfriends or even relatives residence. I had one client that maintained a location at her brother's apartment and another at her mother's condo,( who traveled extensively).


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

My advice is go into full investigation mode. Too many come here and wallow in denial, etc. keeping themselves in limbo hell. Some just don’t want the truth because then they might have to make a decision. So they stall, delay make excuses, etc.

She may have put you in limbo but it will only be you that keeps yourself there.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Torninhalf said:


> Do you have access to her phone?


Unfortunately I dont


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Does she leave it unattended at night, in the shower, etc.

If Shes guarding her phone this another bad sign.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Unfortunately I dont


She never leaves it sitting out? What does she do with it while she is sleeping?


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

The statement about her boss is quite telling. A piece of advice that I've always lived by - a woman will tell you what she's up to, you just have to listen instead of ignore. It's served me quite well over the years as has my gut.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Yep when women, like men, say they wants to f somebody, it mean they will f somebody if the opportunity presents itself. At least old Shaka gives himself some solace apparently believing the boss won't go down that road. That would be a real comfort level for me 
.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

All I can say is expect the unexpected in this situation. Gather intel, take action. Do not be afraid to learn the truth. Otherwise you will go nuts living in limbo.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Wish I had the cash for that. I'll invest in a car GPS very soon


If you activate location on your phone and use Google Map, it will give a run down of where she is/was.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

shakazulu2420 said:


> My wife is supposed to get off work at 6pm.
> I've been seeing on her clock out online portal where on Saturdays she will leave at 3pm. Or 4 pm.
> And get home at 645 pm like she normally would if she left work at 6 pm.
> When she gets home she doesn't even mention leaving early.
> ...


Yep.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Don't say ANYTHING to her until you have collected ALL your evidence.
That will just alert her to be more careful.

Rule 1: Keep your mouth shut.
Rule 2: Keep your mouth shut
Rule 3: Keep your mouth shut.

Read:

Weightlifer's Standard Evidence Post.


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

Why not simply ask her?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Wish I had the cash for that. I'll invest in a car GPS very soon
> 
> 
> We use a smaller phone company. They don't have online logs


She receives her phone bill somehow! Find out how to view her phone activity! 

Stop creating road blocks to get that info you really need. Instead find ways to access the info... there are ways - when you really want to!

Does she have her phone accessible? Or is there a password to get in? If so, figure out the passcode.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

gold5932 said:


> Why not simply ask her?


NO!
Did you not read the Weightlifter post? It tells you EXACTLY "why not".


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

Wolfman1968 said:


> NO!
> Did you not read the Weightlifter post? It tells you EXACTLY "why not".


I did not, I read OPs other posts from years ago.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

What is it with you and your wives???

Going over your other threads is eye opening. Is this the fiancé that you had trouble with?

I guess she is cheating on you as well. With her boss and coworker.


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## VBA (Mar 28, 2021)

shakazulu2420 said:


> My wife is supposed to get off work at 6pm.
> I've been seeing on her clock out online portal where on Saturdays she will leave at 3pm. Or 4 pm.
> And get home at 645 pm like she normally would if she left work at 6 pm.
> When she gets home she doesn't even mention leaving early.
> ...


You know what time she is leaving work, why not be there and find out where she is going, it may be completely innocent. Do not jump to conclusions unless you know where she is going and what she is doing.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Wish I had the cash for that. I'll invest in a car GPS very soon
> 
> 
> We use a smaller phone company. They don't have online logs


Can you get a hold of her phone and look?
Sorry just caught up.

Can YOU take a few days off, borrow a friends car, and then sit outside where she works and follow here from when she leaves?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@shakazulu2420 Is this the same wife as in your thread from 2014? Help--- wife spending too much time with single man, im...

She can't be trusted, can she?

You have children, how old are they? Still living at home?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Wish I had the cash for that. I'll invest in a car GPS very soon
> 
> 
> We use a smaller phone company. They don't have online logs


Hide a voice activated recorder in her car. Pick up her conversations on the phone.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She mentioned before she finds her boss cute and joked she'd like to f*** him.


JFC! She actually said that? To you, her husband?? WTAF?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> @shakazulu2420 Is this the same wife as in your thread from 2014? Help--- wife spending too much time with single man, im...
> 
> She can't be trusted, can she?
> 
> You have children, how old are they? Still living at home?


Google serial cheater.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I'm just trying to put this into perspective a little. When does she spend time with her female friends? When she does hang out with her female friends, does that make you suspicious?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

More than that ^^^ when does she carve out significant time with her family?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> @shakazulu2420 Is this the same wife as in your thread from 2014? Help--- wife spending too much time with single man, im...
> 
> She can't be trusted, can she?
> 
> You have children, how old are they? Still living at home?


It looks like there's a 2019 post that clarifies that him and his wife on that 2014 saga are divorced, so if that's the case then he's going through this same type scenario with a new wife, which makes me wonder how much of this is even valid.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It looks like there's a 2019 post that clarifies that him and his wife on that 2014 saga are divorced, so if that's the case then he's going through this same type scenario with a new wife, which makes me wonder how much of this is even valid.


So a man can't re marry? Jeeez. You think one would come here to write a tale? If you have nothing to add please you don't have to respond...


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Benbutton said:


> The statement about her boss is quite telling. A piece of advice that I've always lived by - a woman will tell you what she's up to, you just have to listen instead of ignore. It's served me quite well over the years as has my gut.


Interesting. This is what I was thinking.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Does she leave it unattended at night, in the shower, etc.
> 
> If Shes guarding her phone this another bad sign.


She has a pass code


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> If you activate location on your phone and use Google Map, it will give a run down of where she is/was.


You mean her phone. I'd have to get her phone to do that


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

gold5932 said:


> Why not simply ask her?


"Honey are you cheating? I suspect you are."
That only drives a cheater to hide even better and more...
And what's the answer supposed to be" yes I'm cheating".


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Google serial cheater.


That's a past marriage. Im focusing on my present situation.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She has a pass code


So what? She's your wife. You should know the code as well. You've never had to use her phone ever? Never texted someone for her while she was driving? There is a reason she doesn't want you on her phone...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

shakazulu2420 said:


> So a man can't re marry? Jeeez. You think one would come here to write a tale? If you have nothing to add please you don't have to respond...


The fact that you have married two cheaters is unfortunate, but not necessarily your fault. Cheaters rarely tell you in advance of their propensity to cheat.

Don't tip your hand monitor her carefully.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

shakazulu2420 said:


> So a man can't re marry? Jeeez. You think one would come here to write a tale? If you have nothing to add please you don't have to respond...


I don't mean that you're writing a tale. I mean that since the same saga continues with another woman, that you may be overly suspicious and imagining things. The women may therefore decide that the only time they could have to do anything else is to conceal that from you. It wouldn't necessarily be that they were cheating, but you'll never believe otherwise because of your suspicious nature. 
It's also possible that you are attracted to or attracting a woman who will cheat. Were either of these women cheating on other men when you met them? How are you meeting these women?

Your ex-wife that you say you divorced because she was cheating that had the big saga about the printer guy, was she cheating with the printer guy or someone else? I certainly did not get cheating from that printer guy scenario.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She has a pass code


Why don’t you have her pass code? She’s your wife ...


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> That's a past marriage. Im focusing on my present situation.


With a common denominator


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> So a man can't re marry? Jeeez. You think one would come here to write a tale? If you have nothing to add please you don't have to respond...


Hmmm, lashes out defensively when questioned….


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

DudeInProgress said:


> With a common denominator


And, a maybe common lady denigrater.

My word.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Shaka...

*That only drives a cheater to hide even better and more... *

Wise choice cheaters can be really skilled at denial and gaslighting, it's ok to wait a few months to gather evidence rather than wait years or decades with a sophisticated cheater. Eyes open mouth shut. 

Also if deep down your W thinks cheating is ok it's just a matter of time and oppourtunity before it happens, better to find out before too much emotional and financial entanglement.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You have some Red Flags.

Find out if they are out, lying and flapping.

You need proof.

Tail her, or get a friend to follow her trail when she gets off. 

Put a VAR in her car, under her seat. See who she is talking to/with.

Others have mentioned a GPS device.

What are your plans? 

Keep a low profile, do the patient cat-and-mouse action.


Saturday seems a likely day, in this instance


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## PreRaph (Jun 13, 2017)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Yes she spending two hrs somewhere.
> She mentioned before she finds her boss cute and joked she'd like to f*** him.


She said that?? You don't joke with your husband that you'd like to f*** another man.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> That's a past marriage. Im focusing on my present situation.


Dude..... really. I suggest you never get married again. There is of course the chance of bad luck...no doubt, but there comes a time you might have to look in the mirror.
What do you think it is that has allowed you to end up like this yet again.... and so quickly???


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Ok so I"m on board with the majority that say sounds like she is cheating. But I want to point out. I used to spend hours after work talking with a co-worker that I was friends with. But we didn't really meet up outside of work so sometimes we'd spend a couple hours just talking after work. It was a women FWIW.

But the tracker and the var should help clarify things


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

Grab her phone. Say “Hey babe my phone died and I need to make a quick call. What’s your passcode?”

If she refuses to give it to you, assume the worst, but don’t say anything. Plant multiple VAR’s, GPS trackers, the works. If she does give it to you, do a quick exam of her text messages but also check her phone at a later time to see if she’s now changed the passcode.

Critical to keep your suspicions to yourself until you have hard evidence.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I appreciate the advice guys. The VAR I shall get...
I appreciate the people on here who are uplifting and giving sound advice. It's really appreciated...


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

gr8ful1 said:


> Grab her phone. Say “Hey babe my phone died and I need to make a quick call. What’s your passcode?”
> 
> If she refuses to give it to you, assume the worst, but don’t say anything. Plant multiple VAR’s, GPS trackers, the works. If she does give it to you, do a quick exam of her text messages but also check her phone at a later time to see if she’s now changed the passcode.
> 
> Critical to keep your suspicions to yourself until you have hard evidence.


Great ideas


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

gold5932 said:


> Why not simply ask her?


Bwhahahahahaha. Seriously ?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

TAMAT said:


> Shaka...
> 
> *That only drives a cheater to hide even better and more... *
> 
> ...


Thank you


Marc878 said:


> Bwhahahahahaha. Seriously ?


Exactly Marc


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Afterwards you’ll get this so be prepared.

*Blame-shifting* is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Trust your gut. The gut rarely lies. It doesn't try to trick you the way your brain does, or lull you into a false sense of security the way your heart does. You know your wife better than anyone, and you know when her behavior is off, and right now she's giving off more red flags than a communist car auction. So like everyone says, go deep and go stealth. Investigate and probe as discreetly as possible. Gather as much evidence as you can (if there is any) and when and only when you have undeniable, tangible proof she is cheating, do you confront. 

Be patient. Trust your gut. Your gut will tell you when it is time to lower the boom.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Is it really worth living as the wife police? Why even go through the hassle? This isn’t what marriage is supposed to look like.


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## Williejay1975 (Feb 24, 2021)

Immediate talk to a counselor not him/her. It is time for you, Your Time, to get this worked out; get the counselor to counsel you:

How you feel that he/she should not had done it;
The insensitive defiance of the other person;
Home and/or work derailment or change.

And prepare for a divorce.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

How about a low-tech method... just wait outside her work on a Saturday afternoon and see where she goes.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There is no amount of monitoring that will stop cheating, so don't wear yourself out.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> There is no amount of monitoring that will stop cheating, so don't wear yourself out.


Great. A good idea and costs nothing


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Next Saturday I will... This weekend nothing will happen. Lady issues


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Next Saturday I will... This weekend nothing will happen. Lady issues


I hope "lady issues" isn't something you expect based upon your own feelings about sex at that time of the month. I can assure you that's not shared by all men.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> Does she leave it unattended at night, in the shower, etc.
> 
> If Shes guarding her phone this another bad sign.


Never


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

What's your next move Shaka or are you going to just let it ride?


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Anastasia6 said:


> Ok so I"m on board with the majority that say sounds like she is cheating. But I want to point out. I used to spend hours after work talking with a co-worker that I was friends with. But we didn't really meet up outside of work so sometimes we'd spend a couple hours just talking after work. It was a women FWIW.
> 
> But the tracker and the var should help clarify things



There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

ABHale said:


> There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.





ABHale said:


> There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.


While I have occasionally stayed late talking to a male never the same male for lots of time. It is usually a new employee that I'm simply helping settle in. And no it couldn't be done during work hours cause I"m a teacher. During work hours I teach.

Just curious. I missed the part where another male at work was mentioned. I saw he figured out that she got off work a couple hours before coming home. I was simply saying it is possible to get off work and spend a few hours before coming home. He has already ruled out Lowe's and shopping and such. I also can spend hours looking at plants. Sometimes I buy a bunch sometimes I buy none. 

But as I said sounds suspicious and he should check it out.

For me I used to carpool with my husband who got of later than me. I'd go visiting other teachers usually just my one good friend but often any new teacher as the first year can be overwhelming and you never know who to ask. It got to where he would come find me in my friends room cause I'd miss his text telling me he was on his way. It's a good thing he loves me so much


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Anastasia6 said:


> While I have occasionally stayed late talking to a male never the same male for lots of time. It is usually a new employee that I'm simply helping settle in. And no it couldn't be done during work hours cause I"m a teacher. During work hours I teach.
> 
> Just curious. I missed the part where another male at work was mentioned. I saw he figured out that she got off work a couple hours before coming home. I was simply saying it is possible to get off work and spend a few hours before coming home. He has already ruled out Lowe's and shopping and such. I also can spend hours looking at plants. Sometimes I buy a bunch sometimes I buy none.
> 
> ...


“She is a very shy homebody. Doesn't have female friends here. She has one make friend a co worker.”

I think “make” should be “male”. 

Loving someone has nothing to do with trusting someone. They don’t always go hand in hand. One can love someone else with every ounce of their being but not trust a word that they speak. 

Some also love another so much that they turn a blind eye to cheating and whisper “as long as they’re happy”.

I think most start out trusting blindly thinking that their spouse would never cheat, they aren’t that type. Then are broken to pieces when they find out. 

It isn’t because you are loved so much, it’s because your SO trusts you. Then again you’re SO could be saying “as long as she is happy”.

I am in no way saying that you are cheating. I am only saying loving and trusting someone doesn’t always go hand in hand.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

She worked in medical research n has done a lot of medical work in the past Including in countries where tropical diseases were rampant etc.
Her co worker has the Corona..

She wants us to swing by n drop off ensure shakes at his door step tomorrow.
She also mentioned going to check on him. I said why would you visit someone with Corona n get back In car with me n expose me.
Her reply was
" I'd not expose you. I'd probably stay therein another room".
I'm flabbergasted.
Someone explain this to me


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

And she's Sitting here as we watch a movie all happy.
It's like she's not thinking about her words.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

So did you ask to borrow the phone to make a call yet ?


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She worked in medical research n has done a lot of medical work in the past Including in countries where tropical diseases were rampant etc.
> Her co worker has the Corona..
> 
> She wants us to swing by n drop off ensure shakes at his door step tomorrow.
> ...


We already did, you’re just not listening


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

DudeInProgress said:


> We already did, you’re just not listening


Says who


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Says who


Have you secured access to her phone?
Do you have access to her devices?
Have you done any serious investigation?
Have you told her NO and established any boundaries?
Have you taken any significant ACTION to take control of this situation?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

You tell her to stop going over there at all!

Put your foot down! She is so wrapped up in him that she is risking her health and yours just to see him!

If she won’t respect this reasonable request - divorce her ASAP! She obviously considers his feelings more than yours! She doesn’t respect you!

You have big problems in the marriage.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She worked in medical research n has done a lot of medical work in the past Including in countries where tropical diseases were rampant etc.
> Her co worker has the Corona..
> 
> She wants us to swing by n drop off ensure shakes at his door step tomorrow.
> ...


Simple. She cares more about his well being than yours.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

You have a wife that is more devoted to him than she is to you.

Why don’t you tell her you’ll divorce her so she can marry him? The vows she took apply to him more than than they do to you.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She worked in medical research n has done a lot of medical work in the past Including in countries where tropical diseases were rampant etc.
> Her co worker has the Corona..
> 
> She wants us to swing by n drop off ensure shakes at his door step tomorrow.
> ...


It’s not that she has zero respect for you... no that’s too generous. She has actual disrespect in all things concerning you.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Brother the handwriting is on the wall. Wake up and smell the coffee. You are second banana now. He is first banana.
She never parts with her phone for a reason......she does not want you to access what lies within it.....got it.

I hope you have placed VAR’s in her car in in your house. Those will in all likelihood reveal the truth. Once you know the truth you are going to have to become a man of action and do what needs to be done to leave the dungeon of infidelity.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Says who


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Update.
*Update:
Yesterday she said she's not going to adopt him as in move on n care for him.*

Now don't get angry with me. I'm just reporting this to y'all my friends. 

We just got home from work and he ago. Now it's 745 pm. She was looking for a receipt to return some pots for some plants and s
ays they have to be returned today cause tomorrow will be thirty days.
She has left.
I'll update u when she returns


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I was waiting for payday to order the VAR.
In the mean time I'm posting here so that someone may give me an insight I hadn't thought about. And I thank y'all for ideas


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

What I'm suspecting is she left to call him to check on him. He is home from work cause of Corona. 
Any other ideas or things I can look for or do as I wait on this var


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Start researching local divorce lawyers.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Update.
> *Update:
> Yesterday she said she's not going to adopt him as in move on n care for him.*
> 
> ...


I don’t know how to say it any plainer than this. I’m glad you’re here but you’re still not getting it, at all.

It doesn’t matter what SHE decides. She doesn’t get any say in this. This is about what YOU will tolerate and what YOU will not. YOU need to tell her what your expectations are of her as a wife, and what you will no longer tolerate. And it’s not a negotiation, and SHE doesn’t get a vote on what your boundaries are. She will either choose to accept them or she will choose to no longer be your wife.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Yeah you can go wait as his house because she isn’t returning anything to the store....perhaps. Check your credit card for a refund


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

shakazulu2420 said:


> I was waiting for payday to order the VAR.
> In the mean time I'm posting here so that someone may give me an insight I hadn't thought about. And I thank y'all for ideas


Can you get corona through a BJ??? Asking for a friend.


*that friend is you. 

Psssst... put the VAR on credit. Along with the divorce filing.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

You are volunteering to be her chump.

She’s wiping her feet on you like you are her doormat.

Of course she went out to talk to him/see him. Why didn’t you offer to go with her - just to see her reaction?

You’ve made it SO easy for her to treat you like crap.

Divorce her - you can’t possibly recover from all your errors within this relationship ship.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

She has money to buy him food and Irma he needs but you don’t have money for a $40 item? 😳


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Susp


shakazulu2420 said:


> What I'm suspecting is she left to call him to check on him. He is home from work cause of Corona.
> Any other ideas or things I can look for or do as I wait on this var


suspecting?

that’s like suspecting Sylvester of eating Tweety when he’s standing by the empty bird cage with yellow feathers stuck to his whiskers......

Gotta get that head out of the sand and stop dragging your feet on finding the obvious truth, which you will likely allow her to spin so that you can stall on taking any action on things regarding her.

Don’t you understand that it doesn’t matter if he’s boinking her if he’s on your wife’s mind 24/7 and she’s putting his health before yours? I think there’s a good chance he isn’t even interested in your wife, OP. But for certain, your wife is interested in him, and likely any other man that will give her the time of day, excepting you.....

you really don’t need any more info than you have in order to just call it quits.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

All you had to do was drive by his home but you’re gonna wait for a VAR?

Sounds like you don’t want to know.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Do a drive by shooting with your outdated phone.

Or, drive by his place shouting, "Oh, crapski!"


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

shakazulu2420 said:


> What I'm suspecting is she left to call him to check on him. He is home from work cause of Corona.
> Any other ideas or things I can look for or do as I wait on this var


Have you checked the phone bill?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

VladDracul said:


> REDACTED


You can express your opinion that's fine. You don't know what job I have neither do I have to explain to you why I dont have a high paying job. That's bullying and I will not respond to issues like this. None of your business.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Marc878 said:


> All you had to do was drive by his home but you’re gonna wait for a VAR?
> 
> Sounds like you don’t want to know.


Drive by his house...WHO TOLD YOU I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?????


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

shakazulu2420 said:


> Drive by his house...WHO TOLD YOU I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?????


Slow deep breaths. We're all friends here, just trying to help.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

shakazulu2420 said:


> You can express your opinion that's fine. You don't know what job I have neither do I have to explain to you why I dont have a high paying job. That's bullying and I will not respond to issues like this. None of your business.


I think you’re jerking around people who are trying to help you. You either are not going to do squat, or you enjoy playing cat and mouse with your wife and her FB


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Thread to be closed by the moderators in 3..2...1...


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Not sure if it closed...

Did the VAR arrive?


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

re16 said:


> Not sure if it closed...
> 
> Did the VAR arrive?


My money is on no VAR arriving because it wasn’t ordered.


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