# Stuck and trying to find a way out



## Bryan729 (Feb 7, 2013)

Wife and I have decided its over between us. Problem is its been almost 2 years since we have made this decision. She doesn't work, quit about 11 years ago to stay at home with our kids. We have two girls (ages 16 and 11). She has very mild Crohns disease and Fibromyalgia and says she cant work a full time job. She is trying to get disability but has been turned down once already with a 2nd request still pending. She wont look for anything part time and just seems to want to sit around the house all the time now. I believe she could do something 15 or 20 hours a week because when its something she wants to do, she doesn't have a problem finding the energy to do it (like spending a week with a friend or taking a trip to see her family). I have agreed to be the one to move out so our children wont lose their home and what they are used to. I have been the only one paying everything since she quit work. Its getting so difficult to deal with this situation now. We don't argue or yell and curse in front of the kids because there is no need to put them through that. We have both been good parents to our girls, but our marriage is over. We tried counseling 3 times to no avail, just seemed to make things worse. Problem is I cant afford two house holds on my income, especially after child support and probably alimony. We have been married 21 years so she will get alimony too. What the heck can I do? The house is almost paid for (owe 20k principal). I'm sleeping downstairs and have my own bathroom. I also do my own laundry and cook for myself most of the time. I am so stuck I don't know what to do. Getting tired of the situation, I know she isn't happy about it either but wont budge about working, just wants to wait for disability so she can have insurance. I'll have to drop her from mine once we divorce. Any suggestions?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't have a single suggestion other than ask a lawyer. But I wanted to say your situation sound untenable. I hope you discover a way to make this separation happen.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Bryan,

My son suffers from Ulceratice Colitis (sp?) and he is a full time college student AND he works part time. UC is in the same family as Crohns and since you describe her Crohns as mild, I'm willing to be she's in better sahpe than my son

The Crohns is an excuse for her NOT to work. No need to talk to a lawyer. I'd talk to her doctor first!


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