# no drive do to medications



## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

Hi there! I'm new on the boards. 

My husband and I aren't as active these days partly do to his medications for heavy depression; now a disabled vet. Lately, we're dead in the pool! I mean, he doesn't see me as sexy and he doesn't get excited. I walk down the hall nude after the kids get to sleep...nada happens! He doesn't like taking showers with me; he hates hot water. He hates candles because he gets migraines. What else is there to do? Will I have to get a darn hose and spray him down on the couch to wake him up and see my body nude?! j/k!


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Medications are very tough because they really mess with your body chemistry. Some anti-depressants are killer on the libido which would seem to defeat part of their purpose.

Have you talked to your Dr. about this specifically? I understand that sometimes drugs such as ritalin can be used with anti-depressants to reduce the libido-killing effects of the anti-depressant. I'm not a Dr. but I've just been reading about this recently. I'd definitely recommend talking with your dr. about it. In fact, since your husband is the one taking the anti-depressant, I'd recommend you accompany him to the appointment and discuss it with the dr. yourself if that is at all possible.


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## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

I wish it was that easy as a disabled vet. The doctors aren't personal; you know? You are treated like a line up. It doesn't help that he also has a busted wisdom tooth that is a daily pain and no dental coverage. He's in bed right now coping the pain. I feel very alone lately.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

upbeatwifey said:


> I wish it was that easy as a disabled vet. The doctors aren't personal; you know? You are treated like a line up. It doesn't help that he also has a busted wisdom tooth that is a daily pain and no dental coverage. He's in bed right now coping the pain. I feel very alone lately.


I'm also a vet. Thankfully, I'm not disabled. My brother is a vet, and he is disabled. 

If I had a dr. that was not listening to me on something as essential to quality of life as sex, then I would look for another dr. What dr. is seeing him? Is it still at a military hospital? VA? If they cannot give proper care, then they should be willing to refer him to someone who can. I wouldn't take any excuses, that's for sure. They CAN do better, or they can refer you to someone who can.

I understand that fighting it can be a difficult process, though. Are you working? Do you have insurance? Is it possible for him to be seen under your insurance?


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## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

We're both disabled. I'm on SSI from an aneurysm and stroke. But, i'm active; if you know what I mean! Maybe we can talk to his primary dr. He's nice but over 90 miles away. She even sends meds in the mail.


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## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

Mostly, i'm looking for ideas to get him exctied...ideas?


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

upbeatwifey said:


> We're both disabled. I'm on SSI from an aneurysm and stroke. But, i'm active; if you know what I mean! Maybe we can talk to his primary dr. He's nice but over 90 miles away. She even sends meds in the mail.


I would encourage talking to his primary dr. Sexual problems are real problems, and a dr. should understand that ... but they only know if you tell them. Like I said, I'm not a Dr., I've just been reading lately how some drugs such as Ritalin can be used in conjunction with some anti-depressants to lessen the effects of libido loss. And, of course, not all anti-depressants are equal in that some cause libido loss more than others, and everybody reacts differently to different anti-depressants. I know from family experience that it is not unusual for anti-depressants to need to be changed or adjusted because the person doesn't tolerate them well, or isn't affected by some of them. I'd really encourage you to keep in contact with the dr. and be sure the dr. knows there are sexual problems that are really hurting you. I think your needs should be considered just as important as your husband's in this situation, and I think a good dr. will consider them as such and work with both of you to see if there is something better in your situation.

I wish you the best in this. I hope you guys can find a resolution with this. And may I ask one more thing: Please keep us up to date. So often, people go off and we don't know if the situation is ever resolved. It's nice to know how it progresses, and that includes both good and bad.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

upbeatwifey said:


> Mostly, i'm looking for ideas to get him exctied...ideas?


There are threads about spicing up your sex life scattered through this forum. I just posted in one about an hour ago. You might look at those threads. 

However; the reason I was keying in on the medication is because, with someone on an anti-depressant, it may be more than just needing spice. Here is a very quick, and non-comprehensive article that discusses this only from one angle, but you can see that it is taken very matter-of-factly that anti-depressants often cause loss of desire. 

Sexual dysfunction and antidepressants - MayoClinic.com


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## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

This forum is great. We will be active on the forum. We used to be in a very active forum related to our costuming and comic cons and other events. Feels nice to get back to a forum lifestyle again! And thank you so much.


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## upbeatwifey (Feb 23, 2012)

And he sure can't live without it at this point.


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