# Fighting back the anxiety



## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

My Ex H told me in Dec'10 that he wanted a D, moved out in April '11 and the D was final in May. I wanted nothing to do with it. I was shopping in Home Depot today and bang, anxiety attack. Just shopping for some screws to put a desk back together. I just kept thinking why am I doing this, this is my husband's job. DUH, I am capable of doing it, that is not the problem. I just feel so out of control all the time. What's next? I thought I had the world all figured out and then BAM, not so. How are you coping?


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## everafter (Mar 10, 2011)

Sorry to hear about the anxiety attack. Find your strength. Know that you can do just as well as others who don't have the inner resources that you do! 
In my case, it turns out that I was doing 95%+ of the day to day workload. I hope he appreciates me now. I'm sure that he is having to adjust more to being divorced than I am. Let's just say that I kept the tools, because they were mine.


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Counseling, an occasional Klonopin. I have Anxiety disorder, Depression, and ADD. Divorce was really hard on me and I had a point where I was not "safe." Meaning, I was planning my own demise. But with counseling, I have found that my life is now my own, and this divorce has actually freed me to be my own person for the first time in my 45 years. Scary, but exciting at the same time. If you are having anxiety attacks, though, definitely seek counseling. They can fix that. Your life is a lump of clay now. Make it whatever you want it to be. Peace to you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I'm sorry. 

With time, it gets easier. There is no magic button or pill to take to make the anxiety go away. It erodes with every day, little by little til one day you wake up and i'ts not the first thing on your mind. Or you realize you are turned off by the thought of being with your now-ex. Or you begin to flit with someone new or try something new or go somewhere new that is an experience you would have never had with your ex.

For a long time, I used to wake up in a panic every single day, or in the middle of the night, disbelieving it was really happening. Anxious, feeling out of my body, feeling sick.

That doesn't happen to me anymore.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Sorry to hear that madaboutlove.

I agree it fades with time and it can be controlled if you need help.

Without details of the outing I'm not sure but maybe a little spin on it might be thinking about how nice it was to be out and meeting new people. Did you strike up a conversation with the guy who helped pick out the correct screws you needed.

I once had a great conversation with one of the associates at Lowes. Turns out he used to be in the maple syrup business years ago. I found talking to and meeting people helps me.


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Sorry you had to have anxiety. I have done that before, myself. I've knocked the depression, but the anxiety is still kicking my butt. It has gotten better, but never goes away completely. I found that ativan helped when it was unbearable. I kind of figure I have to hang on and ride it out. It isn't unbearable anymore, but it's always there. It does get better.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Anxiety is often fear based....

It's normal to have it, especially when you have recently gotten a divorce. Heck..being on your own; feeling that you will be lonely; financial issues; kid issues; etc. It can be overwhelming. 

You don't want it to impair you functioning. 

The important thing is to NOT keep it to yourself. Vent to your girlfriends; get counseling (main) for coping skills and direction; take an active stance in your life (hobby; exercise; healthy diet; sleep).


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

You guys are great. I do go to counseling, ride my bike most days, have a great job and awesome friends. I guess I just keep thinking it will get better and it still shocks me when I get hit with it. It is not as often but more surprising. Lucky to have you all


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