# Looks like the end



## Go Time (Feb 26, 2012)

Well I guess this is the end. I decided to file for divorce on Monday from my wife of 23+ years.	

I posted a while back about my situation. I ended up catching them a few weeks ago,together coming back in his vehicle into the parking lot were they had left my wives car. She wouldn't say were they were coming from and refused to admit to anything "but good friends" and then proceeded to attack me about everything that she didn't like about me. Wow, didn't see it going like that. Blame shifting 101 I guess. The next morning she said that she was glad that we talked and it was hard to tell me some of those things.....WTF ????? She still won't admit to anything and shows no remorse at all. 

I hate to file because I'm sure that she will end up telling me that this divorce was my idea, but the few people that I've told about it and my councilor have told me that I'm doing the right thing. I'm pretty sure that this has been going on for over a year so I think that they must be pretty attached by now and she seems total checked out from our marriage.	

Thanks guys and gals for all your help. I'm glad that I found this site.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Some times you just have to let them go.

Does this dicision give you the feeling of a heavy wieght being lifted off you? Do feel this choice is a positive move for you?


If there is a yes to these questions then you are taking the right steps and will have no regret in the future.

Sure you will have regret she cheated but it sounds like you won't have any for divorcing her.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You are doing the right thing. She has made her choice and now she has to suffer the consequences. I would suggest the following:
1. Get an excellent lawyer
2. Expose this to the OM's wife or spouse
3. Get tested for STD's.
Good luck.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good for you. I'm sorry your wife lost herself to the world of lies and deceit. File and get on with your life and protect yourself. Start living for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Consult with as many lawyers as you can, this will minumize the amout of lawyers she has to choose from. when you do get a lawyer ask him who his compitition would if your wife were to choose them. then get a consult from the lawyers advisary.
Don't tell the lawyer they hate this b/c your consultations have a conflicting interest and they won't take your wife case.


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## Go Time (Feb 26, 2012)

I guess that I'm doing the "Just let them go" I told her that I won't be in a marriage of 3 people and I won't be her second choice and she hasn't said anything to let me know that I'm not. I guess that it is time to get on with my life. Oh, and I already have a lawyer and have the papers done up to the point were all I have to do is call him and he will file them with the court.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

bryanp said:


> You are doing the right thing. She has made her choice and now she has to suffer the consequences. I would suggest the following:
> 1. Get an excellent lawyer
> 2. Expose this to the OM's wife or spouse
> 3. Get tested for STD's.
> Good luck.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If I may playgerize "go time and time to go"

Pull the trigger on the lawyer!


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

the guy said:


> If I may playgerize "go time and time to go"
> 
> Pull the trigger on the lawyer!


Rights granted.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Go Time (Feb 26, 2012)

Wow Shamwow, Read you monster thread a while back. Thanks


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Thanks for the update, keep them coming. I've been wondering a long time about what happened. 

Go here for the 180. It is designed to get your life back on track.

The Healing Heart: The 180

Also, go to your doctor and get a some meds to help even things out a bit. They are no cure all but they help big time.

Go to the gym if you do not have any weights. A good workout really relieves me and has the added benifit of making your body feel better and look better. You can double your strength in no time.

Good luck and prayers

Chap

Come back for support and let the OM's wife know what your doing and why, this is most improtant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Go Time,
My H also denies the affair(s) and quickly blames me for any problems. The denials continue after being confronted with evidence of FB/texts/emails. Its a wonder he could tell. He dumped marriage counseling, verbally abused me and the children-but we were distant. Whatever. I agree with you- three people is one too many in a marriage. Lawyer up big guy, we can do better without them.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Its time for lawyer..........


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Get ready for the crocodile tears and begging and pleading to take her back and she'll never do it again. It was all a misunderstanding and she'll never see the guy again ever, please, please don't do this....

File away for your own health and sanity.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

most often the waywards have the same reaction when they get those pieces of paper


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## Go Time (Feb 26, 2012)

Well I just got back from signing the papers at the lawyers office. He said that my wives lawyer contacted him and said that if I didn't file then she was going to so I don't see this going to R. I guess I'll be moving to the facing D section. Thanks again for your help everyone.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Go Time said:


> Well I just got back from signing the papers at the lawyers office. He said that my wives lawyer contacted him and said that if I didn't file then she was going to so I don't see this going to R. I guess I'll be moving to the facing D section. Thanks again for your help everyone.


Have you told the OM's wife yet?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

GT,

I am glad you are moving forward with the D. Your wife checked out of the marriage a while ago.

Her affair is just proof of how selfish she has become. 

And you deserve better.

I do feel you should contact the other man girlfriend and give her a heads up if you can.

I know you are sad but like I said before your wife was already gone.

She was just too much of a coward to tell you to your face and your kids too!

Be strong.

HM64


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

expose hard now, expose to all, an make it for adultry and name him. I don' care if it's a no fault state. make it known legally.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

expose is wide and far - don't hide away from doing that because then you become an enabler of the affair - and that's a form of self abuse.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Well man, I was married for 10 years and together with her for 16, its not as long as yours but that pain and sense of deep loss was real. Expect it, go through it, and let yourself feel it. I know that all sounds corny but really, its your mind and emotions purging themselves of this event, because better days lay ahead of you. 
No more of this drama, washing your hands of it.
A future with unlimited possibilities where you are in charge of it all.

Allow yourself to step out from under that burden, because "you" are what matters now.


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