# Newbie From Alberta Canada



## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

Hello all, thanks for having me on. I have questions and concerns, and I hope you all can help me. Hopefully, in turn, I will also help others.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Royguy76 said:


> Hello all, thanks for having me on. I have questions and concerns, and I hope you all can help me. Hopefully, in turn, I will also help others.


Welcome to TAM!

What's on your mind? You can leave comments here or start a new thread in one of the forums.


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

Well, it stems from when the pandemic first started and my wife was temporarily laid off. Her company called to see if she wanted to clean their building once a week because they felt bad with her having absolutely no income coming in on her end and we have 4 children. Anyways she was given keys as the building is empty on weekends.

One morning as I worked Sundays and drive past her place of work discovered a blue truck parked beside her mini van. Found this odd but didn't think much of it. It was odd and was on my mind so when I was off the following Sunday I decided to take another look. Again the same blue Ford truck parked right beside the van. At this point red flags went up. The worst of it was just the two people in a building that I couldn't get into because off business hours doors are locked. I found that very convenient and even more paranoia set in. This continued for some time.

6 months later she started back to her regular job with the company and she informed me two days before she was going on a business trip in which she never had done before until that point her boss was picking her up. I was dreading that morning and was really going to start suspecting something if that blue truck came to pick her up and guess what it did. I still have no proof of any wrong doing but what would anyone think? 

Three months later she started her new job in another company but the boss she left continues to call to this day. She never picks up the phone and it is always on silent, never calls back but he calls once a month. She doesn't delete these calls that come in but she does not call going out according to her history. You would think she would delete all records of this. Now I am suspecting email communication or another phone or Sim card for contact.

Am I being paranoid or should I take this further? I need help and suggestions on ways of tracking her better to finally put it to rest. I need tips and tricks.

Thanks all.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Well Roy, I put the standard evidence link below, but I’m not so sure you need it. Maybe…but also maybe not. I’m not convinced.

What else was your relationship like? We’re there any changes in your sex life or intimacy levels when she went back to work (1 day a week or back full time)?

Does she say why the boss is calling her once a month? That definitely is odd.









Standard Evidence Post


VARs and Evidence Gathering The usual disclaimer of reverse the sexes if necessary, we get mostly betrayed husbands here. Do your legal research etc. Your wife is acting funny. Her phone and email suddenly have passwords you don't know. She shuts down phone apps or changes windows on the...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

I am staying silent on my suspension until I have proof and good representation. Sex life is the same but intimacy otherwise has decreased in this time. She doesn't know I know about the calls or that I even check her phone.

She has been very dedicated to her diet and is looking hotter then ever.

The days I suspect her, she goes to the drug store. 

She has random spotting a day or two after these days

She doesn't want me to initiate but it is fine if she k owned ahead of time.

She likes it deeper than she ever has in our 20 years of marriage

She snapped at me when I suggested I go shopping with her once and it was very odd. That same weekend we went camping she treated me like a POS.

So many little things but no actual proof. Thanks for that link, gave me good ideas.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Royguy76 said:


> I am staying silent on my suspension until I have proof and good representation. Sex life is the same but intimacy otherwise has decreased in this time. She doesn't know I know about the calls or that I even check her phone.
> 
> She has been very dedicated to her diet and is looking hotter then ever.
> 
> ...


“So many little things” is right. I can see why your spidey sense is tingling.

The shopping incident, have you suggested going with her since then? Is it normal for you to go sometimes?


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

if there is something going on, it's safe to say it predates the pandemic. The once a week after hours cleaning job sounds very suspect. Especially since her boss's truck was there during these times. Any chance of running a recovery program on her phone? Checking her car, purse, closet for a burner phone? There are a lot of red flags here.


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

The shopping incident was strange because she never had issues before. The phone she used at the time still exists so I may check it out as she doesn't use it anymore.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Royguy76 said:


> The shopping incident was strange because she never had issues before. The phone she used at the time still exists so I may check it out as she doesn't use it anymore.


Good to check that.
Also If it’s still linked to her current account (Apple) you can see real time messages that she might be deleting daily.


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

How do you recover deleted texts?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

On a scale of 1 to 10....is she cheating, or did she cheat, back then?

I give it a conservative 9.

Sorry.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Royguy76 said:


> How do you recover deleted texts?


Give it to a recovery expert.
Search online for one in your area.

You might ask a police detective who he might recommend.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Royguy76 said:


> How do you recover deleted texts?


Depends on the phone. Apple just added a feature to recover deleted texts in iOS16. But that’s short term. Not sure about old phones, recovery expert like Sun says might be it.









iPhone deleted messages - a new thing


Excerpt: < If your phone has iOS 16: Open the Messages app to the message list page. If you see Edit at the top left, tap on it then tap Show Recently Deleted. NOTE: This option will not appear if you have no deleted messages! https://discussions.apple.com/docs/DOC-250005690




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

Droid, unfortunately


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

How many are torn over it because life is so good otherwise? I am so confused about how I feel, especially since I've had a suspension for some time now. I think I need solid evidence before I can truly know.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Royguy76 said:


> How many are torn over it because life is so good otherwise? I am so confused about how I feel, especially since I've had a suspension for some time now. I think I need solid evidence before I can truly know.


Everything you said is a typical response when a spouse feels betrayed (whether real or imagined).

And the need for evidence varies widely... some men/women will separate just based on lack of trust, while others need video. In the end you have to do what's right for you.

Has there been any change since you started watching more and collecting evidence?
Anything adding to your suspicioun? Or taking away from it?

What steps are you taking to find out more info?
(You can have this thread moved to a private forum if you're worried she might read it)


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

Can we move this? Sorry, I am new to message forums.


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## Royguy76 (1 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Everything you said is a typical response when a spouse feels betrayed (whether real or imagined).
> 
> And the need for evidence varies widely... some men/women will separate just based on lack of trust, while others need video. In the end you have to do what's right for you.
> 
> ...


No change, she is still the same woman I married. It would just be easier if she did so that I wouldn't feel so bad looking into all of this


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