# No finger allowed



## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

My wife never allows me to put my finger inside her. This is the best way to hit her G-spot. Any one has a wife like mine? Any suggestion on how to talk to her about this?


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Does she have a reason for not wanting you to put fingers inside her? Will she let you during oral?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Don't you have a bunch of other sex related threads? I'm on my phone, but as I recall, your wife just isn't that interested in sex (with you). If that's the case, why would you expect that she'd welcome changing things up when she just is waiting for you to be done?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

PBear said:


> Don't you have a bunch of other sex related threads? I'm on my phone, but as I recall, your wife just isn't that interested in sex (with you). If that's the case, why would you expect that she'd welcome changing things up when she just is waiting for you to be done?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, yeah I looked at previous posts. You're right. 

OP, well there's your problem. You're getting a bit ahead of yourself here. I get it. I thought I could make sex good enough with the XW that she would want it more. It. Does. Not. Work.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

She loves oral and only get orgasm when I use my tongue and finger on the outside. Every time when I try to put my finger inside her, she does not like it and immediate tell me to take it out.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And then you ask why, and she gives you a reason... Which is?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

PBear said:


> Don't you have a bunch of other sex related threads? I'm on my phone, but as I recall, your wife just isn't that interested in sex (with you). If that's the case, why would you expect that she'd welcome changing things up when she just is waiting for you to be done?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Stop generalize everyone to fit your case. You don't know my wife is not interested in sex (with me). She just gets low drive and does not want sex that often.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

Do you have long nails, or rough skin?
Are you using lube?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

how do you know she is having a orgasm when you give her oral?

if its because she told you she might be faking so as not to hurt your feelings.

my opinion is that women who aren't getting there have a low sex drive.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Does she have any past history of sexual abuse fingers could be a trigger for her.


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## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

Just curous, do your hands look like this by any chance:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Visual said:


> Stop generalize everyone to fit your case. You don't know my wife is not interested in sex (with me). She just gets low drive and does not want sex that often.


Sorry, just trying to make a point that yes, she's low drive right now, and you're her only sexual partner. But it might be that she would be high(er) drive if her needs we're being met, or with someone who she didn't have a potentially negative history with. 

My question still stands, though... What does she give for a reason for telling you "no fingers"?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

If it doesn't do anything for her then it doesn't. If it goes farther than that, it's something she doesn't like, then why do you want to do it?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

MissScarlett said:


> If it doesn't do anything for her then it doesn't. If it goes farther than that, it's something she doesn't like, then why do you want to do it?


This is a good question. But I think we all have things we want to do sexually that if we can't then its a bummer. Like maybe she holding back and if she would just go with it then she would have more sex drive. What if you love kissing and lot of tongue action but your husband didn't care for it. He just gave a little tongue action. How or wouldn't you try to kiss him longer and sneak some extra tongue?


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> This is a good question. But I think we all have things we want to do sexually that if we can't then its a bummer. Like maybe she holding back and if she would just go with it then she would have more sex drive. What if you love kissing and lot of tongue action but your husband didn't care for it. He just gave a little tongue action. How or wouldn't you try to kiss him longer and sneak some extra tongue?


That is why I asked why he wants to do it if she doesn't like it. Is it for his benefit or is he under the assumption it would be to her benefit?

If someone was past the point of dislike with something I would have a hard time doing it. It would take the enjoyment out of it if I thought they were uncomfortable or disliking it.

And there is a lot I would like to do that I don't do because of that. Not that I am saying that's a great way to be.

In fact I'm opposite of this situation. I have a finger fetish pretty much and its not really DH thing.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I never see the point of my husband sticking his finger in my vagina like some tiny penis. He has tried stimulating my g-spot that way but it doesn't feel anywhere near as good as his penis or a dildo. I had to teach him that I really enjoy him caressing outside the vagina where I have many more nerve endings, the walls of my vagina feel no pleasure. Pumping a finger in and out of me is a major turnoff. 

File those nails as well.


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Visual said:


> This is the best way to hit her G-spot.


WHY? Because you read this somewhere? 

Information is good, but not always accurate for each person. Some women do not like the feeling of having their G-spot stimulated.

If you already know how to please her then be happy with that. As you said - she is low drive... but there is no magic button on her body which is going to change that. Her low drive is in her head - perhaps more accurately - in her hormones.

Stimulating her G-spot - which apparently she does not enjoy anyways - is not going to change that.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I agree with MissScarlett -doing something which your partner does not like is an extreme turn off. 

My wife does not particularly like my finger inside her. I do not know that there are any pleasure nerves in there -I do not think so. And the G-spot only seems to be effective for some people and then usually only when they are highly aroused.

Why in the world would I want to put my finger inside if it does not bring her pleasure? 

If I had to guess I would say that the OP has read that the G-spot is a great way to drive a woman into a "sexual frenzy" or something like that and is hoping to make his wife more sexual by doing it. 

Well bad news OP -there is no secrete spot that makes women more sexual.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

It doesn't have to cause pain to be annoying, though.

I hate how my husband chews gum. I leave the room. If we are in the car and he is chewing gum it's a chronic irritation. 

He has the right to chew gum any way he wants. I've never said anything to him about it, because I don't feel like my irritation should get in the way of how he wants to chew gum.

But when it comes to sex, if he insisted on doing something that annoyed me it would kill the mood. 

So the OP likes putting his finger inside - if she doesn't like it and he presses her to do it anyway that's not good for an increase in the OP getting laid.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

MissScarlett said:


> If it doesn't do anything for her then it doesn't. If it goes farther than that, it's something she doesn't like, then why do you want to do it?


Ya know it seems this board has a few regulars that always follow ea other no matter what. If it would of been a female asking why her lover does not like hand jobs. She would of got a pity party. Like use the other hand, Try different lotion, Why do you all just attract the guy. Maybe he has a history you all not like ??? I don't know ?? I have a wife that does not like fingers,Frenching , kissing,sucking breast, oral both ways, anal, foreplay, Sex more than twice a month, toys, But it never stops me from trying to make her like it. Why would you say well then stop doing it if she does not like it. She never said why she does not like it to him. He turns to this board for advice and a few of you regulars kick he's ass. Where's the love ??


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I am hardly kicking his ass. 

I'm a female in a relationship where I would like to do a ton of things my husband is uncomfortable with. 

Believe me. I've been having pretty much the exact same sex for over 10 years and it's all what my husband likes. 

Asking for anything new gets a response about being pushy and bossy. 

Also, fortunately men don't have the same finicky orgasms that women do. Whether he fingers her or not has no bearing on HIM getting off. Believe me, it's not the same the other way around. Women get turned off of orgasm for any number of reasons. If fingering her is turning her off to it then he shouldn't do it. Several people have asked why she doesn't like it including me (see page 1) 

Therefore I'm saying FOR ME I can't just do something anyway that makes my husband uncomfortable because then I can't enjoy it. I can't ask him to do something I know he doesn't like and move anywhere up the ladder to orgasm at all. Because I know he doesn't like it.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I re-read my post on Page 1 and perhaps phrased it in a way that seemed pointed. Instead of asking why she didn't like it I asked why he persisted if she didn't like it.

So yes, a) why doesn't she like it and b) what is his motivation for persisting after she said she didn't like it. 

The OP has never come back to clear this up.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Based on this thread and your other ones, it doesn't seem like you have sex at all.

I don't get why people marry if they want sex and their partner doesn't.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

MissScarlett said:


> I re-read my post on Page 1 and perhaps phrased it in a way that seemed pointed. Instead of asking why she didn't like it I asked why he persisted if she didn't like it.
> 
> So yes, a) why doesn't she like it and b) what is his motivation for persisting after she said she didn't like it.
> 
> The OP has never come back to clear this up.


Hey, I have had my coffee now ?? So I attack you for attacking him. Not my position now. Its just at times there are members of this board that all roll together. I understand you now. 
Lets talk ?? I love to perform oral sex on my wife. She over the yrs. has never really enjoyed it. Now she has come to the position in life that its no longer available to me. She feels its gross and thats it. I stand tall and say I want to, I need to ,Its one of my most important things on earth I like to do. But I can't have it. I will never stop trying. I don't try as often as I use to . So I as a human being have to go without oral sex for the rest of my life because she does not want it. What a stance?? If the roles were reversed and if it was her that had the desire to go oral on me, And I hated it. I think I could see to it to allow her to fulfill her needs and desires. I mean really I would just wipe it out and say have your way with me .


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Just Wondering said:


> Hey, I have had my coffee now ?? So I attack you for attacking him. Not my position now. Its just at times there are members of this board that all roll together. I understand you now.
> Lets talk ?? I love to perform oral sex on my wife. She over the yrs. has never really enjoyed it. Now she has come to the position in life that its no longer available to me. She feels its gross and thats it. I stand tall and say I want to, I need to ,Its one of my most important things on earth I like to do. But I can't have it. I will never stop trying. I don't try as often as I use to . So I as a human being have to go without oral sex for the rest of my life because she does not want it. What a stance?? If the roles were reversed and if it was her that had the desire to go oral on me, And I hated it. I think I could see to it to allow her to fulfill her needs and desires. I mean really I would just wipe it out and say have your way with me .


Me too, really. I wish that my H would try something new with me or say anything about anything that turns him on. I would roll with it. I might not like it enough to want to do it all the time but I'd give it a go.

It's the sad plight of too many of us on this board. I have trouble orgasming and have no idea how much of the cause of this is having to have sex the exact same way every time I have sex. Predictable. Monotonous. 

So I ask myself the same thing - do I go without x,y and z for the rest of my life? Well, what are the options? Find someone else, have an affair, keep trying to push the envelope. Pushing the envelope has it's parameters, though. The parameters being the enjoyable space between getting to try something YOU like and them having to do something they DONT like. 

I get it. Miss Scarlett pushed the envelope last night and it ended up with her in tears while DH drifted into the sleep of angels.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

I Don't Know said:


> Does she have a reason for not wanting you to put fingers inside her? Will she let you during oral?


I never ask her why she did not like it. I just don't feel like asking that question. I know she does not like it.

I have tried a few times where she was almost orgasm, but still no go.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> how do you know she is having a orgasm when you give her oral?
> 
> if its because she told you she might be faking so as not to hurt your feelings.
> 
> my opinion is that women who aren't getting there have a low sex drive.


I know because her body shiver and she often place my hand down there and feel it.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

xakulax said:


> Does she have any past history of sexual abuse fingers could be a trigger for her.


I asked her already and she said no. But she does has a lot of signs about it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Visual said:


> I never ask her why she did not like it. I just don't feel like asking that question. I know she does not like it.
> 
> I have tried a few times where she was almost orgasm, but still no go.


Dude... If you're in here trying to figure out how to improve your wife's sex drive, I'm pretty sure of one thing... Repeatedly trying to do something that's she's told you she doesn't like is NOT the best way to go about it. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> If it doesn't do anything for her then it doesn't. If it goes farther than that, it's something she doesn't like, then why do you want to do it?


My goal from this is that to give her multi-orgasms. Once she see how it feel, it may solve her low drive. That is my thinking.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> This is a good question. But I think we all have things we want to do sexually that if we can't then its a bummer. Like maybe she holding back and if she would just go with it then she would have more sex drive. What if you love kissing and lot of tongue action but your husband didn't care for it. He just gave a little tongue action. How or wouldn't you try to kiss him longer and sneak some extra tongue?


I tried the tongue and she does not mind at all. Well, she does not complains about me using the tongue.


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## Visual (Apr 12, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> I don't get why people marry if they want sex and their partner doesn't.


Here are the reasons for me.
She is a great wife beside the sex issue.
I have two young kids.
Money wise, it is a lot cheaper for me to stay married.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Visual said:


> My goal from this is that to give her multi-orgasms. Once she see how it feel, it may solve her low drive. That is my thinking.


This won't work. First, she doesn't want your finger in there. (Your lack of caring about what she wants or why is truly admirable, btw) Second, you don't even know if she is multi-orgasmic. Third, it just doesn't work. My x would have 2 or 3 most times, but it did not increase her drive. It could actually satisfy her longer and cause sex to decrease. Fourth, see #1!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

MissScarlett said:


> Me too, really. I wish that my H would try something new with me or say anything about anything that turns him on. I would roll with it. I might not like it enough to want to do it all the time but I'd give it a go.
> 
> It's the sad plight of too many of us on this board. I have trouble orgasming and have no idea how much of the cause of this is having to have sex the exact same way every time I have sex. Predictable. Monotonous.
> 
> ...


Maybe we should start a new thread.Nothing happening here. I get what your saying to the max. I mean really how do you look forward to a sexual event when its the same ea time. And all the boundaries and rules in place. You try and set the table for a nice evening and someone says hey lets just do this and get it over with. My wife does not like foreplay. She would rather get her done. Well I like foreplay and it increases my orgasm. Makes it better. But she not having it. Shall we ??


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Why would you insist on pushing something you know your wife doesn't like? Maybe that's part of the reason she doesn't want more sex with you: because she knows you ignore what she thinks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

lifeistooshort said:


> Why would you insist on pushing something you know your wife doesn't like? Maybe that's part of the reason she doesn't want more sex with you: because she knows you ignore what she thinks.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Sounds to me like you can relate to her ??? You know maybe you should not join the team if you can't be a team person. I could name ten different things She does not like about sex. Does that mean I go without those ten things. She like them all before I put a ring on her finger. Ya know maybe in stead of her making a stance on it. She should say She has become very inadaquite sexual and they she has no desire for sex.She has actually said it does ot matter who it was . She is not in to it. Not my fault. Your comments are like hers So Sorry Charlie. The bad thing about the whole LD thing is you all have the upper hand until we decide us HD people have had enough and wake up some day and say see ya.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I actually agree with lifeistooshort. I'm HD and was with a LD wife for a long time. I know the frustration. I'm saying doing things or pressing for things she has explicitly told him not to do will backfire. He thinks he can make sex so enjoyable that she will want it more. 

IT WILL NOT WORK. 

If she is already having orgasms then she enjoys sex. She just doesn't have a high drive. If anything try making the things she does like more enjoyable and better. I could see that working. Maybe.

OP, your responses in this thread make me think of the guy who just has no clue and won't listen. You think you know what's best and that's that. "I don't like brocoli." "What are you talking about? You freaking love it! Here eat some more!"

Imagine if your wife said she wanted to use a 9" dildo on you. You tell her that's not what you want but she refuses to listen. She keeps on and on and on. Maybe even tries to sneak it in every once in a while. How is that going to play out? Do you think that's going to increase your sex drive?


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Well first on all would it have to be the whole 9" or just half??? Ok I some what agree to a point. But I never mentioned anything painful. I am just wanting a well balanced sex life. Maybe a little thrill in it. A little excitement. You know if you don't like sex with someone then leave the relationship. Move to a island, Be alone, But don't try and make others life miserable. Your the one that changed. Just how many dates would a LD people go on if they told the OP the 1-2-3 date they hated sex. Really get a life.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Just Wondering said:


> Well first on all would it have to be the whole 9" or just half??? Ok I some what agree to a point. But I never mentioned anything painful. I am just wanting a well balanced sex life. Maybe a little thrill in it. A little excitement. You know if you don't like sex with someone then leave the relationship. Move to a island, Be alone, But don't try and make others life miserable. Your the one that changed. Just how many dates would a LD people go on if they told the OP the 1-2-3 date they hated sex. Really get a life.


Yeah, I hear ya. I was being a wee bit over the top. And I totally agree with every thing you've said here. But I still say the OP is going about things the wrong way, IF his goal is to increase her sex drive. If he just wants her to let him play, go for it. Tell her this is what I want to do and I'd like you to go along.

BTW, I am of the belief that LD is LD and can't be "fixed" unless it's medical. Best case is that your partner is understanding enough that she lets you play and experiment even if it isn't her cup of tea.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Just Wondering said:


> Sounds to me like you can relate to her ??? You know maybe you should not join the team if you can't be a team person. I could name ten different things She does not like about sex. Does that mean I go without those ten things. She like them all before I put a ring on her finger. Ya know maybe in stead of her making a stance on it. She should say She has become very inadaquite sexual and they she has no desire for sex.She has actually said it does ot matter who it was . She is not in to it. Not my fault. Your comments are like hers So Sorry Charlie. The bad thing about the whole LD thing is you all have the upper hand until we decide us HD people have had enough and wake up some day and say see ya.


Nice, just insult people that don't agree with you; particularly people you know nothing about. Actually my hb is quite caring regarding what I like and don't like and as a result gets lots of sex. Your nasty attitude says a lot. How's that attitude working out for you in the bedroom? Not so well I gather.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hartvalve (Mar 15, 2014)

Visual said:


> *My wife never allows me to put my finger inside her.* This is the best way to hit her G-spot. Any one has a wife like mine? Any suggestion on how to talk to her about this?


I don't blame her.  I have OCD and all I would ever think about if I allowed it, and I never did, is.. "Are those fingernails clean?" 

At any rate, I have no suggestions.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

Visual said:


> My goal from this is that to give her multi-orgasms. Once she see how it feel, it may solve her low drive. That is my thinking.


I'm extremely LD and can have multiple orgasms during intercourse, but it's never changed my LD. 
Orgasms in general, multiple or not, aren't that important to me. She may be the same way.

But ultimately, doing something she asks you not to isn't going to help the issue, no matter your motive.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I have met many HD women who don't orgasm and many LD that orgasm every time.

I do think a woman who feels like nothing more than a masturbation device for her husband isn't likely to want sex.

But that is not really related to the HD/LD set point which, I believe is an inate characteristic primarily.

Being a woman who likes sex and wants more sex and rarely orgasms, I don't find this fair of course, but that's life.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I also was not implying that anyone here treats their wife like a masturbatory device. I know this board is primarily full of men who would do absolutely anything to sexually satisfy their wives but are confined by their wife's parameters.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Besides, not all women can have multi orgasms.....I can't. I can have one really good orgasm, then if I rest for a day I can have another one. Heck, some women don't orgasm at all.....real life isn't porn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Visual said:


> Here are the reasons for me.
> She is a great wife beside the sex issue.
> I have two young kids.
> Money wise, it is a lot cheaper for me to stay married.


Ah, marriage. So romantic.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Ah, marriage. So romantic.


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

PBear said:


> Dude... If you're in here trying to figure out how to improve your wife's sex drive, I'm pretty sure of one thing... Repeatedly trying to do something that's she's told you she doesn't like is NOT the best way to go about it.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> :rofl:


I'm here all day, Pidge.


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