# the love of my life may be no more....



## done (Jan 31, 2010)

I married my best friend, soulmate, and prince. Now he is gone...he lives here with me and our son. He is a great Dad no doubt! I love this man with all I have, but he is gone. The man I fell for, the man I love, the man I would go thorough hell with...is gone. 

Let me explain...
My husband has slowly started to hate me. Yes, hate. He uses that word. He is no longer in love with me. He does not want me around and does not care if he hurts me. He started to hate me when he noticed I have trust issues (I am past them now) I had been divorced before we got married and I was cheated on several times in that 4 yr marriage. I tried to let him know that I was still scared and hurt, but he made me feel great, so I put it aside. My husband hates me becasue I gained weight after our son (13lbs), I do not understand him, and many more things. I wonder why the man I love now says (his words) I am fat, undesirable, crazy, no good and will never be good enough. 

I would try to swim the ocean for him. I love him more than he will ever know and now I do not know why. I have lost why I love him. I used to love him becasue he loved me and made me feel wonderful. He was caring and to him I was special. Now he feels trapped and hates me. I have let him have everything (insert fantasy here) he wants. I do everything and would do anything for him, but he does not love me. He pretends to (his words). I sit here and cry myself to sleep. I am alone...I gave up my friends, social life, and my family is 2700 miles away. I have no one, the one person who I counted on being there for me has jumped ship and wants out. Do I let this man go? This man who I love? Is love enough?? I always thought it would be but now I am seeing that maybe I am wrong. Is there a way to make someone see that you deserve respect even if you did gain weight after a child? Is there anyway to make all of my hurt and pain go away?? I do not want to lose the only person that I have ever truly loved and trusted, but is the fight worth it if he does not care. Is causing myself heartache worth what could be?? He wants out and it owuld be easier just to say fine. I wish I could at times, I wish I could just yell and say...FINE...I AM GONE AND I HATE YOU TOO...but I don't. Not becasue I do not have a backbone, but becasue I care about hurting people. I do not know why becasue my pain and hurt do not phase him. It is almost amusing to him. He thinks it is stupid that I get offened by his insults. I asked well just don't insult me then, he says I am too sensitve. I do not know anymore. 

Is it me...is it him...will I ever be happy. What do I do?
I am sorry for the rambling...I am just looking for advice anywhere but the cereal box.
Thanks


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## Sad Girl (Jan 31, 2010)

God i feel for you  really i do cause i was in those same shoes not too long ago then i theleft him i took my 5 kids and left...well for 2 1/2 years things were great but then we decided to give it another shot last august and that was the biggest mistake of my life i should of just left things alone, he is callin me a discusting w*ore now almost on a daily basis...i weigh 125 ive had 5 kids anyways i'm supposed to leave him like in 2 weeks if i get the balls i pray that i do cause i hate him for the way he talks to me... My advice to you, i know its hard but let him go once its done if he comes to his senses then he will realize what he had and maybe things will work out. But maybe by then you will have realized that your so much more happy without him or maybe the time will make you a stronger person all together. Dont be scared take chances.... Life is too short to be unhappy


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