# ED? It's about your health...



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

I found this this morning on the news.

11 Causes of Erectile Dysfunction -

ED is really all about the plumbing, and if the plumbing is not working then it is most likely that physics are involved.

Erections are caused and maintained by good blood flow, so it is important to take good care of yourself. I have read a lot of posts about getting testosterone supplements, and while this might be a good idea for some I think it might just be a bandaid for most.

Anyone who is concerned about their sexual health and future should check out this book written by Dr. Steven Lamm. It is called " The Hardness Factor" and it is about how your overall health will affect your performance in bed.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

For those with ED, is it something you have had for a long time or does it just pop up one day? 

Women: if you are involved with someone who has ED, how do you feel/what do you do, etc? What if they don't want to talk about it and don't think anythin is wrong.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> For those with ED, is it something you have had for a long time or does it just pop up one day?
> 
> Women: if you are involved with someone who has ED, how do you feel/what do you do, etc? What if they don't want to talk about it and don't think anythin is wrong.


That's the problem, Jelly. It doesn't pop up one day...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I stand corrected (pun intended).

But seriously - for those who have ED it, is it something that happens early on? or it is develops through time? I am so confused.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> For those with ED, is it something you have had for a long time or does it just pop up one day?


I don't have ED, but like almost every man, there have been a tiny handful of times over the years when my body just refused to cooperate with what I wanted to do. I would imagine that clinical ED is progressive with the body getting uncooperative on a more and more consistent basis. 

I think two things have to be differentiated though.

If a man is still getting erections during REM sleep like he's supposed to, but is gradually finding marital intimacy less and less arousing, then it is probably chemistry (Hormones) and not plumbing.

If a man still has desire, but his body consistently refuses to cooperate, it is definitely a red flag health wise.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ocotillo said:


> I don't have ED, but like almost every man, there have been a tiny handful of times over the years when my body just refused to cooperate with what I wanted to do. I would imagine that clinical ED is progressive with the body getting uncooperative on a more and more consistent basis.
> 
> I think two things have to be differentiated though.
> 
> ...


It's progressive.

It might not be ED with another person.

The mental ones with a cheating or spouse that treats you badly is that your confidence is just diminished to the point where you worry about it. And the worry becomes ED.

You don't feel a strong desire or reflection of confidence in you so your erections are weakened.

If you get with someone else who views you more strongly, the erection may be stronger.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

I had ED related to W's cheating. Nothing wrong with the plumbing any other time.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I don't have clinical ED either, but occasional not working due to stress or other stuff.

But, as I age, I notice recently I get night wood that is completely stiff and more than ready for duty, but not quite as hard as a few years ago. I remember times not so long (4-5 years) ago where it was so stiff I couldn't even pee when I got up at night. I would have to stand there for 2-3 minutes over the toilet working it down to where I could actually point it down enough to pee. It actually was very annoying.

I haven't had that bad at all so I attribute it to progressive aging.

Some day, it won't even get stiff at night. That's when I guess it's time to remember the old days.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Jellybeans said:


> I stand corrected (pun intended).
> 
> But seriously - for those who have ED it, is it something that happens early on? or it is develops through time? I am so confused.


It depends Jelly.

My issue started out years ago with difficulty urinating. It has since progressed to full blown BPH (Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia or Hypertrophy) and erectile dysfunction.

On top of that, I've always had a hill to climb to reach orgasm.

I still love sex. 

But at best, I am either very slow to respond to arousal, with a limited window for penetration, to at worst, I have c0ck coma ... flatline, nada.

The 'problem' for me occurs when a partner decides to take personal ownership of my erection and orgasm ... which they shouldn't do ... and it isn't on them. But, people like to take things personally.

I've been broken up with more than once on account of it. And I get it, the logic is simple. "Why should I have to worry about this aspect of a relationship, when I can go find someone whose plumbing works fine?" Can't argue with that, and I don't.

But, I will also state, that for me? Having ED has actually made me a far better lover, and I was pretty damn good before having it. 

I have had a couple of partners that were absolutely wonderful about all of it. It was a non-factor.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Deejo said:


> But, I will also state, that for me? Having ED has actually made me a far better lover, and I was pretty damn good before having it.
> 
> I have had a couple of partners that were absolutely wonderful about all of it. It was a non-factor.


One of my sex books (I forget which one now)..but it was written, in part , due to the man's not being able to do intercourse cause he had such a grave issue with Premature Ejaculation.. that he became the master at giving Oral ... and he had lots of women, they were happy/ satisfied ..and why he wrote the book.. what he learned from that.. . isn't it true that more women get off this way anyhow...and prefer it ?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

SimplyAmorous said:


> One of my sex books (I forget which one now)..but it was written, in part , due to the man's not being able to do intercourse cause he had such a grave issue with Premature Ejaculation.. that he became the master at giving Oral ... and he had lots of women, they were happy/ satisfied ..and why he wrote the book.. what he learned from that.. . isn't it true that more women get off this way anyhow...and prefer it ?


I can vouch for that.

Yet ... women still WANT intercourse, whether it results in an O or not.

To this end I benefit from modern chemistry. But I do not like the side effects. I get flushed big time, and my vision gets blurred and my nose runs like a faucet. Crazy what we put up with for sex.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I don't understand. Why all of the focus on Male "dysfunctions" ?

Our media, our pharma, TV,everyone and their mother is talking about it.

YET, no one is talking about about women not being able to get wet. Isn't that women's part of the deal?

Why don't I see commercials etc on that crap? Why don't I see men making big deal out of that crap?

It's a 50/50 deal I thought. We get hard, you get wet and off we go.

I'm sorry but it just feels like our entire society is relying on men's performance and completely ignoring woman's issue.

Thankfully I don't have this issue, and my wife doesn't have issues yet either (we both know it's coming), but we BOTH find that it's ridicules that our society thinks its on men's shoulders to always deliver.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

There has been some research into a female version of Viagra. That's about all I know about it...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

DoF said:


> I don't understand. Why all of the focus on Male "dysfunctions" ?
> 
> Our media, our pharma, TV,everyone and their mother is talking about it.
> 
> ...


Because whether or not you have the ability to become erect, perform, and please a woman is a mainline tap directly to the male psyche and how he defines himself.

I don't know of any man that didn't have some mental work to do and hoops to jump through when he found himself unable to achieve that simple state that is so definitively, male.

That and someone found a way to make money off it. Pretty much that simple.


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

These are all good things to watch out for (the clinical causes), but I think those are well WELL known and, honestly, obsessed over in the media. To the point where the *knee jerk* response in *any* situation is "go to the doctor!!!!"

Meanwhile male *mental health* is never a topic. Almost continually ignored.

I saw a bunch of interesting studies recently that indicated *many* men suffer from *psychological* ED at some point (sometimes temporary, sometimes not)

Erections aren't purely just blood flow and hormones (which so many women *and* men seem to believe)

Those are just the pre-requisites.

After that its *hugely* mental. Men aren't rutting dogs or robots.

I really wish, especially in an era when internet porn is rampant, and male body dimorphism is on the rise, both conspiring to really ruin young men, that more attention would be paid to the *non clinical* causes of ED.

At best they're generally an "oh yeah and btw this maybe too..." footnote in these articles.

We run to pills awfully fast in our society rather than examine our emotional health. Bad.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> One of my sex books (I forget which one now)..but it was written, in part , due to the man's not being able to do intercourse cause he had such a grave issue with Premature Ejaculation.. that he became the master at giving Oral ... and he had lots of women, they were happy/ satisfied ..and why he wrote the book.. what he learned from that.. . isn't it true that more women get off this way anyhow...and prefer it ?


I don't know many women that have O's through oral alone. Deejo, Viagra work?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

V works, although I suspect my results are different, based on what I've seen others post about taking it.

Basically if I use Viagra, I would describe my erection response as 'normal'.
I don't pop a pill and stand at attention for the next several hours. Flag only goes up if there is someone there to salute.

I've had several girlfriends who could not O through PIV.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

This is a great point, and it IS worth discussing.

Overuse of porn I don't doubt can impact the wiring in the male brain when it comes to feeling stimulated with an actual partner.

Stress is a huge factor when it comes to mental well being, and your junk.

But it's a double edged sword. I have to confess that I got to the point where I would get angry (I wouldn't display it, but it was there) when a partner would suggest that I have "Nothing to worry about, it's all in your head and will resolve itself when you're more comfortable and relaxed."

Actually, no. No it f*cking won't.

I just need you to be patient, and relaxed yourself, and not take it personally when I'm pushing rope instead of breaking cinder blocks with the strength of my erection.



Quantmflux said:


> These are all good things to watch out for (the clinical causes), but I think those are well WELL known and, honestly, obsessed over in the media. To the point where the *knee jerk* response in *any* situation is "go to the doctor!!!!"
> 
> Meanwhile male *mental health* is never a topic. Almost continually ignored.
> 
> ...


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Stress and mind movies have been my nemesis, now that I'm in my 50s. 

These can be overcome. But it's important for your partner to understand and not take it personally. 

I've had that happen, and it only deepens the problem, because now it's all about her, when really, it's not, honey. She gets mad, and now you're telling her it's OK, and it takes two weeks for you to get hard again.

And saying, "Well if you hadn't screwed OM and sent him emails about your deep, unrequited love for him while we've been together, maybe I wouldn't HAVE this problem." Doesn't help matters ...


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## Hammond_B3 (Oct 31, 2014)

My ED kind of snuck up on me. We went through years of my wife being extremely LD. I mean 6 months could go by. I survived by taking maters in to my own hands because I did not want to cheat on her. Finally, her sex drive kicked in to high gear and she can't get enough and guess what? My ding-a-ling will not cooperate. You think God doesn't have a sense of humor! I actually could perform sometimes but never achieved a very good erection. I first tried Viagra, and Holy Smoke did it work! I could crack walnuts with that thing, but I didn't like the lack of spontaneity. I went to Cialis for daily use and this is great. I don't get quite the quality of erection as with Viagra, but it does the trick. One added side effect is that it now takes forever for me to complete the task if you know what I mean. Before I was very quick, but now it takes a long while. No complaints from my wife though.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Hammond_B3 said:


> You think God doesn't have a sense of humor!


LOL - I've thought that many times during the last five years...


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## Csquare (Jan 14, 2014)

Many high blood pressure medications cause erectile dysfunction.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Blood Pressure Drugs…and How to Avoid Them | Weston A Price


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

OhGeesh said:


> I don't know many women that have O's through oral alone.


:scratchhead:

Plenty of women have O's through oral. Not sure what women you've been talking to.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

DoF said:


> I don't understand. Why all of the focus on Male "dysfunctions" ?
> 
> Our media, our pharma, TV,everyone and their mother is talking about it.
> 
> ...


Because generally speaking, lack of wetness requires only some over the counter lube to correct.

You can still have PIV sex with a woman who no longer gets wet, you just need to add lube.

If there's no erection, you (typically) can't have PIV. There's no over the counter remedy for this.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Csquare said:


> Many high blood pressure medications cause erectile dysfunction.


Many medications for other things do too. Nexium, for acid reflux is notorious for it.


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