# Her ex Husband is moving in



## iSitFate? (Mar 7, 2017)

Greetings everyone..

I am very worried, sad and troubled that I am here and actually made an account to post this in an effort to seek advice and wisdom from you guys. I have been dating my girlfriend that I love for 4 months now, (I am 20, she is 26) also we are on a long distance relationship and we met online) we sometimes have our argues but its pretty rare and they were always jealousy related from her and my side because we are both very jelly mostly but wich we resolved good everytime.

So here its where ill say whats going on right now, well as you guys can see as the tittle of my post, she is divorced and her husband is going to move on to her house. 
Her ex had asked her 2 days ago if he could move in to her house if him and his gf broke up, because him and his girfriend were not doing good and they could break up soon.

I didnt like this at all, she told me she refused and was telling him to go with his parents, wich they argued (my gf and her ex) and then nothing got resolved and he left without word. (he works at the same place as her so he told her around their work) so I just showed i was not okay with it and left that topic there, since she told me she would tell me if anything more happened.

This is having me overthink very bad and pretty worried.. and well this is happening because her ex is still into her and I also just simply dont like the idea at all, he once said he wanted to fix things back and gave the idea he wouldnt mind leave his gf to do so (me and her were dating at that too), they argued at that time and she got hurt because he hurted her in the past a lot, wouldnt defend her of his parents, care about her feelings and other things, (wich made them to broke up) and she told me she trully loved me and wouldnt go back to him and I did my best to make her feel better and I managed to do it but yeah...
(his dad in the past tried to hurt her and managed to, while her ex didnt stoped him btw, what an*#, this got putted in court)

Now today this happened, she went to court because of what had happened with his dad in the past and well her ex's dad got pissed because he will most likely lose the case, he had treatned her in past that she would regret if she screwed him with this and now she was thinking he could break in her house to make her pay (hurt her) (he lives close and he broke in once before to take something) the thing is with all this she is afraid of being alone at her house now because of her ex's dad so.. she told me she will let her ex move in so his dad will probably not do a move (wich i dont think so since her ex is a coward and didnt defend her in the past when they were married so why would he now).

I asked if it really was necessary that he moved in.. and that her ex will most likely attempt to do something.. if u guys understand were im going with this... well I said I was not okay with it but if its for her safety... well her ex's dad could try to hurt her thats true but.. and i also said that when he moves in that i hoped it wouldnt change our relationship and what if he tried something what would she do and she said she would deny him and his flirts /excuses /sexual attempts, this doesnt make me feel confortable at all and I think she will get distant of me... not to mention that with him there listening to us skyping it will be unconfortable for both of me and her and probably he will try to make "moves" so they get back together wich could lead to her leaving me or cheating on me in the worst case scenerios... she told me she would never leave me and that she really loves me and wants to be with me forever and I know that she wont cheat on me but he could force himself kissing for example.. and then lead to that, idk what to do and say, im already getting hurt just of thinking him being there with her...

This is killing me thinking i could lose her :crying:... I love her so much and I see a future with her and she is so special and I trully love her, we talk on me or her flying over to meet eachother in real in a close future and other things on our distant future too, *I really need your advice and opinions* about on what's happening and why she wants him moving in and *what you guys would do about it /what I should do about it* :frown2:, Should I be Okay with her ex moving in? and thanks for reading till the end. Please leave your opinions on this. :frown2: Thank you.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

You're 20 you should be dating lots of women not thinking about settling down with some 26 year old divorcee and certainly not so enamored that moving on would be a big deal. A week of sadness tops. Enjoy your youth don't waste it on drama.

Try dating some women in your area. Getting to actually touch them is a big bonus. Just saying.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Yeah, dude. You're really getting into some drama with an obviously crazy person. Who lets their ex move back in with them?
You're stepping into some deep stuff when you're 20?

Too many women out there to do something this crazy.
Are you crazy for continuing a long distance "relationship" with your gf who's letting her ex husband move back in with her? Yes.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

You've already lost her.

Put down the video games and date women in your area.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

No


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

iSitFate? said:


> Should I be Okay with her ex moving in?


Since you love her and see a future with her and she doesn't really give a rat's ass about what you think about her exhusband moving in, it appears you're going to have to be ok with it. 

I mean, there doesn't seem to be any other option for you. 

It's sort of like the mouse in the trap. You either find your way out of the maze or you die trying. In your case you don't seem willing to try to find your way out of the trap so hang in there and hopefully the cheese won't be all moldy by the time you get to eat it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Dump her and stay away from her. Understand...she does not have your best interests at heart. This woman will break your heart and throw it in the ground and stomp on it. She sounds like a nut. 

Best you beat feet now before you get hurt really badly.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Me?

I have a mean side. I do.

I have to wear heavy jackets so the bulge does not show.....

My answer...a dumb one for sure.

You move in. You tell your GF that you will protect her from Daddy Dear.

I suspect her tune will change. 

From her playing 'your' favorite Ditty to the Ex regaining his favorite Titty..........those pendulous beauties changing hands from your grasp to his...... happy gasps.

She is lying. She is getting back together with her same-age mate.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have a long distance relationship with this woman.


How much time have you actually spent with her in person?


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## iSitFate? (Mar 7, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> You have a long distance relationship with this woman.
> 
> 
> How much time have you actually spent with her in person?



I have never met her in person yet she lives in another different country from mine, we skype, use facebook and text eachother a lot and before all this happened we were planning visit eachother but now I dont know.. It would be hard to be with her in real life in future but I was still going to do it if everything kept going good as it was and I had hope, wich now its very blurry on my mind...


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## iSitFate? (Mar 7, 2017)

Thanks everyone for your opinions and advices, I really love her but in this moment I'm trying to analyse this with my mind instead of my heart and it hurts because I know what I should do but my heart is not letting me because I really care for her and this is making me very sad and worried, I still hope her ex doesn't go live with her and im thinking in talking about it with her before its too late, any sujestions of what I should say..? Once again thank you.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

iSitFate? said:


> I have never met her in person yet she lives in another different country from mine, we skype, use facebook and text eachother a lot and before all this happened we were planning visit eachother but now I dont know.. It would be hard to be with her in real life in future but I was still going to do it if everything kept going good as it was and I had hope, wich now its very blurry on my mind...


Oh come on! Talk about a perfect Jerry Springer episode! Maybe you should send her money so she can add better security to her home. Or maybe you should send her money so she can buy her ex a nice bedroom set to sleep in, since you know, he won't be sleeping with her. (sarcasm). I really like SunCMars suggestion, tell her you're coming to live with her, I would love to hear how she reacts to that.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

iSitFate? said:


> I have never met her in person yet she lives in another different country from mine, we skype, use facebook and text eachother a lot and before all this happened we were planning visit eachother but now I dont know.. It would be hard to be with her in real life in future but I was still going to do it if everything kept going good as it was and I had hope, wich now its very blurry on my mind...


So really you dont know if you love her because you have never met. A 26 year old who is already divorced is a big red flag. A women who is thinking of letting her ex move back is another red flag. The fact that you would hardly be able to spend any time together in person is another reason not to carry on. 

As others have said, just meet women locally, and someone of your age who hasnt got all this mess. You may well find that if you meet there is no chemistry anyway, that happens a lot.


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

You never met her and you love her so much that you can't even break it off because her exhusband is moving in with her?

This sounds either very sad or just unbelievable. One of those threads that just keeps providing additional information to keep people on the stringer is not one that I am prone to keep posting to. Unless it gets interesting, and this one isn't. 

Either way thanks for the additional information that makes me realize I've already spent too much of my valuable time on this particular thread.

Good luck.


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## CanadaDry (Jan 17, 2017)

If she really loved you she wouldn't let the ex move in, period. She knows he will try to have sex with her and she's not shutting him down. Move on. Look for women in your area.

Here's another fun thought - date a cougar, a woman in her 40s. Lots of older women love 20 somethings because of their stamina. You get the benefit of their sexual experience. It's a win win.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

iSitFate? said:


> Thanks everyone for your opinions and advices, *I really love her but in this moment I'm trying to analyse this with my mind instead of my heart and it hurts because I know what I should do but my heart is not letting me because I really care for her* and this is making me very sad and worried, I still hope her ex doesn't go live with her and im thinking in talking about it with her before its too late, any sujestions of what I should say..? Once again thank you.


Oh man o man....:surprise:

My friend you are one misguided and naive young man. I'm sorry but you are. What you are feeling for her is not love... at least not love in the true, self-sacrificing and nurturing sense.  What you are feeling is called "limerance", and it is 95% all in your head. 

You cannot fully know you really love someone unless you have met them in person and spent a good amount of time with them. I am sure you care deeply about her, and in an emotional way you have been in a relationship....of sorts. But she has been using your for emotional support and ego feeding, and you have done the same. What you have is a quasi-parasitic relationship, and it is not real nor is it healthy. Please end this with her. You are setting yourself up for major heartbreak if you keep going on with her, and you seem like a decent guy. I wouldn't want to see that happen to you.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Just tell her no sausage parties.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Didn't read your whole original post. Didn't need to. Dump her.


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

iSitFate? said:


> I have never met her in person yet she lives in another different country from mine, we skype, use facebook and text eachother a lot and before all this happened we were planning visit eachother but now I dont know.. It would be hard to be with her in real life in future but I was still going to do it if everything kept going good as it was and I had hope, wich now its very blurry on my mind...


Sounds more like a fantasy than a relationship.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Coming from a woman who was 25 years old at the time she married her husband, who happened to be 19 at that time, this is NOT a good match for you. On this one, I agree with the others saying to cut your losses and find someone local... or at least in the same country! Long distance is hard enough without adding in different countries, and her divorced status/now loving with her ex again. For your own sanity, please cut her loose.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

iSitFate? said:


> I have never met her in person yet she lives in another different country from mine, we skype, use facebook and text eachother a lot and before all this happened we were planning visit eachother but now I dont know.. It would be hard to be with her in real life in future but I was still going to do it if everything kept going good as it was and I had hope, wich now its very blurry on my mind...


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Move on. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Honey you are NOT in love with this woman. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER. Until you meet someone in person you don't know them.

Block her and find a girl in your own area to date.


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