# A Cheater's Confession



## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

To you all that is.. I have been cheating on my husband for over the past month now. I tell him that I am hanging out with girlfriends every weekend, which is not the case. I am hanging out with another man. I have not been able to say no to the other man because I am having so much fun. The funny thing is that I don't feel guilty about what I am doing. The reason this is true is because our marriage ended a long time ago. I stayed in the marriage trying to make it work, but I didn't prepare for this to happen this way. I am currently trying to divorce my husband and he is sad about it. He has not been approving of me hanging out and coming in at 9am. I tell him I am out with my girl and had too many drinks to drive, but that is a lie. I am divorcing him because I can not continue to lie. He has been trying to compromise with me in order to save the marriage. He said he would have no problem with it if I didn't stay out all night. So, once we were not able to work that out, he is now asking if I could just spend 2 weekends out a month with him and 2 weekends with my friend. I told him no. So, it keeps going back to square one. I told him I do not want to save the marriage. I want out. He is having a real hard time letting go.

So, I told the other guy I was divorcing my husband and have him under the impression that we are divorced. This affair started out as an emotional affair, which escalated. However, I don't think it would matter to the other guy whether we are divorced or not. He and I are not looking at a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but he told me he considered it a sexual relationship. I just considered him my boy toy, but whatever. I could never get serious with him. My big sis asked if it was serious because he invited me over every weekend, but I told her no. He is just a boy toy.

I am done with marriage and I just want to be single. My husband is hanging on to false hope. I just don't trust or respect men and I don't think it will work if we tried to fix things. My thinking about men has been altered and I don't think anything can change that. I know I have been bad and I am trying to get out of this as painlessly as I can.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

These are all things you should be telling your husband. He might be more willing to let you have what you want (a divorce) if you do. Or show him this post. Maybe that will open his eyes.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

superwoman said:


> To you all that is.. I have been cheating on my husband for over the past month now. I tell him that I am hanging out with girlfriends every weekend, which is not the case. I am hanging out with another man. I have not been able to say no to the other man because I am having so much fun. The funny thing is that I don't feel guilty about what I am doing. The reason this is true is because our marriage ended a long time ago. I stayed in the marriage trying to make it work, but I didn't prepare for this to happen this way. I am currently trying to divorce my husband and he is sad about it. He has not been approving of me hanging out and coming in at 9am. I tell him I am out with my girl and had too many drinks to drive, but that is a lie. I am divorcing him because I can not continue to lie. He has been trying to compromise with me in order to save the marriage. He said he would have no problem with it if I didn't stay out all night. So, once we were not able to work that out, he is now asking if I could just spend 2 weekends out a month with him and 2 weekends with my friend. I told him no. So, it keeps going back to square one. I told him I do not want to save the marriage. I want out. He is having a real hard time letting go.
> 
> So, I told the other guy I was divorcing my husband and have him under the impression that we are divorced. This affair started out as an emotional affair, which escalated. However, I don't think it would matter to the other guy whether we are divorced or not. He and I are not looking at a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but he told me he considered it a sexual relationship. I just considered him my boy toy, but whatever. I could never get serious with him. My big sis asked if it was serious because he invited me over every weekend, but I told her no. He is just a boy toy.
> 
> I am done with marriage and I just want to be single. My husband is hanging on to false hope. I just don't trust or respect men and I don't think it will work if we tried to fix things. My thinking about men has been altered and I don't think anything can change that. I know I have been bad and I am trying to get out of this as painlessly as I can.


Your post makes me very sad. So many of us hanging on by a thread, jumping through hoops trying to salvage our marriages and you're just done. Not judging you, sometimes I wish I could just stop caring too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

What did your husband do or not do to deserve this treatment?

He also needs to grow a Set of Ballz and kick you to the curb. Btw he's got to be a little stupid for even letting you in the house for coming in at 9 am. 

Grow up - divorce him! Good luck with your cheating. It will catch up to you eventually.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

superwoman said:


> To you all that is.. I have been cheating on my husband for over the past month now. I tell him that I am hanging out with girlfriends every weekend, which is not the case. I am hanging out with another man. I have not been able to say no to the other man because I am having so much fun. The funny thing is that I don't feel guilty about what I am doing. The reason this is true is because our marriage ended a long time ago. I stayed in the marriage trying to make it work, but I didn't prepare for this to happen this way. I am currently trying to divorce my husband and he is sad about it. He has not been approving of me hanging out and coming in at 9am. I tell him I am out with my girl and had too many drinks to drive, but that is a lie. I am divorcing him because I can not continue to lie. He has been trying to compromise with me in order to save the marriage. He said he would have no problem with it if I didn't stay out all night. So, once we were not able to work that out, he is now asking if I could just spend 2 weekends out a month with him and 2 weekends with my friend. I told him no. So, it keeps going back to square one. I told him I do not want to save the marriage. I want out. He is having a real hard time letting go.
> 
> So, I told the other guy I was divorcing my husband and have him under the impression that we are divorced. This affair started out as an emotional affair, which escalated. However, I don't think it would matter to the other guy whether we are divorced or not. He and I are not looking at a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but he told me he considered it a sexual relationship. I just considered him my boy toy, but whatever. I could never get serious with him. My big sis asked if it was serious because he invited me over every weekend, but I told her no. He is just a boy toy.
> 
> I am done with marriage and I just want to be single. My husband is hanging on to false hope. I just don't trust or respect men and I don't think it will work if we tried to fix things. My thinking about men has been altered and I don't think anything can change that. I know I have been bad and I am trying to get out of this as painlessly as I can.


I hope that your cheating really catches up to you. Did your husband beat you up? Did he abuse you mentally? What happened that he deserved this treatment by you?

From how you describe in your post you sound really, really selfish.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

I remember you, you're the one who came here in January posting of how you don't like your husband and acting like you were not already cheating with a guy from the gym.

You were lying then and now you want to tell us you are being unfaithful. Yet you don't want to tell your husband?

Your focus is all wrong.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Don't you feel remorse for any of this? Geez, a little guilt wouldn't be misplaced--and maybe an acknowledgement that you either should have left your marriage a long time ago, but were too cowardly, or some self-reflection on using other people and making decisions for them. 

So you had a bad marriage and want out. OK, a lot of us "get" that. But the way you have gone about is just so . . . embarrassing. Have some self-respect. Get some counseling to figure out how and why you can be so uncaring. The fact that you are "confessing" here and subjecting yourself to criticism says that maybe you have a tiny bit of guilt--so use that. Accept that you aren't happy with how you've been behaving (guilt won't kill you and it does go away, when you learn to love and forgive yourself). Then the shell of a person you seem to be right now will give way to a much better and much more truly happy human being.


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

You are throwing your marriage away for a boy-toy that by your own words "doesn't matter to you". Take a look at your actions viewed from a third party. If one of your female friends was doing this, or even your sister, what would think about it? 

Don't think your husband is clueless. He knows when yr not coming home until mid morning that something is wrong. That is why he is voicing his disapproval.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

i wonder what will happen when someone cheats on you. There is a 50% chance in a future relationship that it may happen. You will probably be unsettled in your relationships from now on since you yourself have cheated. 

When you need to trust, you can't because you see deceit wherever you go. Even if you are not betrayed, it will feel like you are every time you need to trust. That's the price you pay for being deceitful. 

Why don't you let your husband go. What did he do that was so bad that you humiliate and hurt him in this way? It would be kinder to get a divorce. Is the OM married? Does does he have children? His wife probably suspects something but can't prove it, poor lady. So because you can't disrupt your life to get a divorce you destroy the lives of others. 

I always wonder how a woman can betray another woman knowing how devastating this is? 

Many a cheater find themselves on the other side of the equation and grow to appreciate the pain they have inflicted on others. You'll see.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

superwoman said:


> I just don't trust or respect men and I don't think it will work if we tried to fix things. My thinking about men has been altered and I don't think anything can change that. I know I have been bad and I am trying to get out of this as painlessly as I can.


This is the paragraph you write that illustrates how off you are in your thinking. Your lack of respect is galling.

And you think that sneaking off without airing the truth is the "painless" way to deal with what you have done?

Painless for whom? Your husband? 

Oh wait, you wouldn't want to spare him pain. I mean, why would you?


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

Okay I saw your post and thought wow. I don't know you or your husband so I'am going to do the one thing no ONE has done and not judge you. For all we know your husband was a jerk or maybe both of you are. I don't know and all of you juding this person is not fair just because you post spething does not mean that is all the whole truth. So before you put a scarlett A on her and want to jude her at least she came here an maybe just maybe at least I feel by you talking about there is something you eant or need to change. I don't think your doing yourself or your husband any good. If your marriage was not a great one then the best thing would be to leave but not for this other guy. I don't agree woth what your doing but I'am not going to sit here and pretend that I'm a saint and call you names like the rest of the people here. It's time for a change so change it.


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## mr.miketastic (Aug 5, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Sweetie Pie, before you go mucking up your life, please get a complete neurological and physical exam. If there is some kind of underlying condition that is causing you to do things and you cannot put your finger on the reason, there is a STRONG possibility that it could progress from having mindless sex with a boy toy and no emotions for your husband, to not being able to take care of yourself.
> 
> If nothing else, you owe it to yourself to make sure you are competent to be out on your own before you take the plunge. Consider it looking after your future self, if you don't have it in you to look after your current self and your marriage. Try to picture the 80 year old you, with progressive dementia, in a government nursing home, eating pureed green beans left over from school lunches. (Yes that is an attempt at humor but I am serious.)
> 
> ...


There is the possibility that syphilis is in play here.


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Sweetie Pie, before you go mucking up your life, please get a complete neurological and physical exam. If there is some kind of underlying condition that is causing you to do things and you cannot put your finger on the reason, there is a STRONG possibility that it could progress from having mindless sex with a boy toy and no emotions for your husband, to not being able to take care of yourself.
> 
> If nothing else, you owe it to yourself to make sure you are competent to be out on your own before you take the plunge. Consider it looking after your future self, if you don't have it in you to look after your current self and your marriage. Try to picture the 80 year old you, with progressive dementia, in a government nursing home, eating pureed green beans left over from school lunches. (Yes that is an attempt at humor but I am serious.)
> 
> ...


I appreciate your feedback Homemaker, and the person who sounds like they have a psychological illness is you my friend. You need help for posting this bullcrap on here and at least I am on here sharing my life with you all so I can't be that mentally incompetent. So, just because you don't know the whole truth and don't agree with it does not give you the right to call me names. I do drive and do things thank you very much and I am in college, so your post is so ignorant!!


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

mr.miketastic said:


> There is the possibility that syphilis is in play here.


Take a stick and put it where the sun doesn't shine.


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

michzz said:


> This is the paragraph you write that illustrates how off you are in your thinking. Your lack of respect is galling.
> 
> And you think that sneaking off without airing the truth is the "painless" way to deal with what you have done?
> 
> ...


Ok and you don't know what your talking about so shut up!! This is the very last time I will come on here and post something.


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

Powerbane said:


> What did your husband do or not do to deserve this treatment?
> 
> He also needs to grow a Set of Ballz and kick you to the curb. Btw he's got to be a little stupid for even letting you in the house for coming in at 9 am.
> 
> ...


I am going to divorce him. I said that in my post. Well, I am not looking to get married again, so I will always be a cheater.


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

notreadytoquit said:


> I hope that your cheating really catches up to you. Did your husband beat you up? Did he abuse you mentally? What happened that he deserved this treatment by you?
> 
> From how you describe in your post you sound really, really selfish.


My husband put me through a lot and he hurt me in many ways. We are beyond marriage counseling at this point.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

superwoman said:


> Ok and you don't know what your talking about so shut up!! This is the very last time I will come on here and post something.


Pain avoidance for yourself only. Pain infliction for everyone else?


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## superwoman (Nov 27, 2010)

I just want to close this up by saying my marriage is over and I did like posting on here is getting great feedback, except for the morons who want to call me names. I will not even come back to read another post on here so don't even bother posting anything additional. Furthermore, I hope I have fun in my single life and my husband is going to be in for a rude awakening if he thinks I am going to try to patch through this marriage. I had a feeling it was over, but I tried to work through it. I wanted to save our marriage and I pressed my husband about this very issue, but never realized I would have to go this far to finally get his attention. Well, it's over!! It seems I come on here to share my life, and I am looked at unjustly before anyone ever knows the whole truth and no one even bothers to ask me about it before jumping to their own conclusions. Well, I don't feel I have to post a life story on here. I give a general description of what is going on and that is all that should be needed. 

While I have cheated on my husband, I do feel guilty about it, but it just tells me I need to move on and face what I have done. I couldn't even predict myself cheating on my husband by a long shot. I can't moap about it. 

I even spoke with my husband one night and he wanted to know if he had done anything wrong. I told him about what hurt me for many years and it made both of us cry. He said he would change to make it work, but I can't accept that. I cheated on him, I can't continue to stay married to him; knowing the possibility of it happening again. I can't continue to lie to him. And it took all of this for him to come to me, after I have been telling him for all of these years. I felt bad and I asked god for forgiveness, but I also asked him to lead me in the right path that is right for me. So, I am just taking it one day at a time and I feel divorce is the only answer at this point.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Your last post sounds alot like what my wife said and we worked it out.
Good luck and sorry you had to go though this painful deal. It sucks and I for one do not judge your self preservation in finding affection else were. 
So be gentle.. your H just doesn't know how to show love and lets just blame it on his parents.

I hope you find happiness and have fun with the boytoys, My wife had 20 at last count...before we desided to rethink our lives.

Again we worked it out


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## typewittyusernamehere (Feb 12, 2011)




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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

superwoman said:


> I felt bad and I asked god for forgiveness, but I also asked him to lead me in the right path that is right for me. So, I am just taking it one day at a time and I feel divorce is the only answer at this point.


So did God tell you to cheat? You know, the "right" path?


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Divorce and move on. In time I hope you forgive your ex-husband, and let go of the anger. Hopefully you will learn to trust and respect a man again, because they aren't all bad.

In the original post it sounds like you were bragging about the cheating. You were making a confession. I think this may have triggered the negative response.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I hope you feel the same way 20 yrs from now. Then you can tell this story to your 50 smelly cats.


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## mr.miketastic (Aug 5, 2010)

superwoman said:


> My husband put me through a lot and he hurt me in many ways. We are beyond marriage counseling at this point.


The thing is, judging from your lies in your other thread, and the lies in this one, you may have manufactured the hurt, and your poor husband probably had no idea he did anything wrong.

You sound like a spoiled brat actually. I suspect that what happened, is that you emotionally abused your husband and emmasculated him by constant nagging and temper tantrums. Once you got what you wanted, you discovered that you don't like the result of your labors and now want the bad boy-toy.

I mentioned the 'french pox" earlier because it does, in fact, cause mental illness if left untreated. I very strongly advise your husband and you to get tested for STD's and you should get your divorce as quickly as possible and let your husband have his life back. He will heal, but don't be too upset later on when he tells you to F-off when you want to come crawling back.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

F-102 said:


> I hope you feel the same way 20 yrs from now. Then you can tell this story to your 50 smelly cats.


:rofl:


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I know she's never coming back...but NOTHING justifies the behaviour I've read. Serious soul searching and a full STD workup is in order.


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

It's good your making progress and you chose to make the right choice. I appreciate your story because you came on here to tell a story not be judge. I'm a firm believer that there are two sides to every story. I mean seriously ye without sin cast the first stone. I'am sorry to read all these majoy a******** on here that called you names and wish bad on you not even knowing the full story. They might be upset because they old lady or someone they cared about stepped out on them so they feel to lynch you as a way to direct their anger and frustrations and dump them on you in which is not fair and not being objective. 

Good luck to you and you did the right thing by tellking him at least you told him some people wouldn't do that. But that is another thread. Again to all the jerks like seriously? Grow up.


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## mr.miketastic (Aug 5, 2010)

krismimo said:


> I'am sorry to read all these majoy a******** on here that called you names and wish bad on you not even knowing the full story.
> 
> Good luck to you and you did the right thing by tellking him at least you told him some people wouldn't do that. But that is another thread. Again to all the jerks like seriously? Grow up.


Irony much? Y so srs?


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

WOW! I hope that I dont run into that one. I hope she does go through with the Divorce no one need to be treated like that.


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