# Why emeralds are expensive and the book you have to read (if you're a guy)



## IH8theFriendZone (Mar 14, 2011)

This is a cut-and-paste from the Sex/Marriage forum...

OK...I'm going to write an op-ed here for what it's worth. I haven't explained my story yet on here and that's fine...I will eventually. Suffice it to say, here's a quick one-liner about me:
I'm a nice guy who married a girl who dated a-holes and would give it up for them by the truckload; with me, we had a good amount of sex until we got married, and it went downhill until after we had kids, then it was as though my role in her childhood dream of becoming a mother was fulfilled... now if I would just be so kind as to take out the trash and drop her package off at the post office and generally just stay the f--k out of her way while expecting nothing from her yet remain interested in every detail of her day...

My situation is progressing toward the positive as I crucify who I used to be (I have intense self-loathing regarding my past and who I used to be...I'm sick and f--king tired of being a nice guy and getting trampled and shafted) and I want to share some thoughts:

Most of you know why diamonds are so expensive. Actually, emeralds are the most expensive gem per karat weight in the world. But just to hit my point, I'm going to say why: because they're hard to find. Period. Dot. It's because they cannot be easily acquired that their value goes up. Emeralds are the most expensive because they're the rarest gem in the world. And this is why women generally are attracted to alpha males...anywhere from the confident, strong, and determined alpha to the cheater, the liar, and the abuser -- these men are harder to acquire. It's the same reason why Sharon Stone's character in Casino kept crawling back to her jerk boyfriend played by James Woods instead of throwing herself at the feet of her multi-million dollar earning husband played by Robert DeNiro...DeNiro's character was at her beckon call; Woods' character played by his own rules and she had to earn him.
If you're the nice guy like me, women gain interest in you because you're nice. Then, generally speaking, they become bored with you because you're nice. It's human nature...the achievements we find most rewarding are those that were the most difficult to accomplish. If you're easy to get, you're just as easy to dispose of and of little value. But if you're present, but not quite attainable, you provide a critical ingredient to many women: a thrilling, fun, and potentially rewarding challenge. And there's a name for this: it's called "cat string theory." I'll explain in a second.
I bought a book a short while ago that I read cover to cover. I should have read it again and taken notes it was so good, but I ditched it because the title alone would have thrown my wife into a fury. It's a book entitled, "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artsts," by Neil Strauss. It's the true story of a timid, geeky, nice guy who goes on to become universally recognized as the world's greatest pickup artist. And in detailing his story, he also details how he picks up women. Why on earth did I get this book? Not to have an affair. And not to pick up chicks. But to pick up my wife. Any man in this forum who has a wife who is disinterested in sex, IMHO, must read this book. If it won't work in your marriage, then it will certainly work after you're divorced.
In the book he explains being the alpha male and all its concepts. But two things I want to explain further here are "c o c k y funny" and the aforementioned "cat string theory."
****y funny is what it sounds. It's an edge and an aura of confidence mixed it with humor. I don't know a single woman who doesn't like a good sense of humor. And almost all women like a man with confidence. Mix the two together and you get ****y funny...a man who can use a sense of humor that sometimes you're not quite sure if that was a joke or a putdown...a compliment or an insult (and kind of a funny one at that). It is, by it's very nature, a lure and an instrument of social dynamics that is meant to establish attraction by making yourself feel difficult to attain and/or interpret.
Some of you like MEM have mentioned to keep your humor, your happiness (not letting anger enter your persona) while being a little bit playfully emotionally unavailable or difficult to attain. This is kind of the essence of ****y funny. The book explains it, and details many true story examples of how it works.
Cat string theory I can explain to a T. It works like this (and encapsulates my wife and every other woman I've known perfectly): dangle a string just out of a cat's reach and the cat will go apesh!t trying to grab it; but give the string to the cat and it'll toy with it for a few moments, then get bored and walk away. This is the essence again of why women find men who are a challenge often irresistible.
If you're easy, you're boring. If you're a difficult one to pin down, mysterious, and ****y with a good, playful sense of humor, it's MUCH easier to generate interest and attraction in you.
Not quite the expert here...still learning. But I wanted to share because it has helped me a lot in my transformation.


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