# New and needing advice



## lost41 (Nov 17, 2007)

I've been married for eight years and I'm so unhappy that divorce is all I think about these days. My husband and I have had many issues over the years mostly regarding finances. He thinks that money is our only problem. I have told him over and over that the problems are complicated by lack of money, but the real problem lies with us. There is no affection, no romance, no real conversation, we never do anything together anymore, I could go on and on. I know that I am under a lot of pressure right now because my daughter is very sick and facing surgery next week. I feel that I am breaking under the strain of this and a bad marriage and a husband who can't seem to be there when I need him. Am I being selfish to want a real relationship with my husband? Is divorce the answer?

Lost41


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

lost41 said:


> 1). Am I being selfish to want a real relationship with my husband?
> 
> 2)Is divorce the answer?
> 
> Lost41


!) Not at all, it is what you deserve.

2) Not always. Infact it is always a better idea to try to save the marriage first then go from there. At least you'll know you did everything you could.

draconis


----------



## Alan (Dec 8, 2007)

Yeah I agree,finances are a small part of marital issues when you have so many other ideas at hand.Try to talk reasonably with each other so you can both at least be on the same page.


----------



## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

It sounds like you need to be more assertive. Unfortunately this means you will become the social planner for the relationship, but you could find it quite liberating.


----------

