# memories from one year ago



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Hello old friends and many new names on here. I wanted to stop in and give an update on things. I took some time away because I had been having so many triggers when reading about all the newly betrayed spouses and hearing from all the cheaters who were posting on here. I couldn't take hearing about all the cheats in the world anymore. It was really getting to me. Well, it's been about a month now since I was last here. There are so many new names. I'm sorry you're here but it's a good place to be when dealing with what you are.
This month is a trigger month for me. One year ago this month my ex husband was eyeballs deep into his affair. I had my suspicions but had not yet made confirmation. All the obvious signs were there. He was hiding his phone from me plus had passworded everything. He was coming home hours late from work. He was disappearing from the house without reason or cause, and he was very much treating me like I was the enemy--you know, the nosey, insecure, jealous wife who couldn't mind her own business (gee, wonder why)
One year ago today stands out in my mind. One year ago today, I found a receipt for a gift. I thought it was for me, and that he would give it to me when he took me out for dinner that night. Well, we had dinner but there was no conversation. He spent the dinner with his nose in his phone texting away. When I asked him to put his phone down, he would refuse. Oh, and that present? I never got one. Later found out he had brought it for his other woman. What made it hurt all the more was that it was my birthday. The other woman's birthday is close to mine, and he had got her something but not me.
So today (Jan 21) is my birthday and I should be out celebrating (I do have plans for later) but right now, the haunting memories of last years tragic birthday are haunting me.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Good to see you today and Happy Birthday!!

I am sorry today is a trigger for you...but...it's been a year and you are still alive 

In future years, the triggers will become less and less. Promise.

At least you're not this girl:










:rofl:


----------



## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

Apple Ducklings, today is also my birthday and I'm also thinking about last year, when my WH was also entrenched in his affairs. Triggers and unhappiness in my own headspace, too, though he and I went out on a lovely date that night and I was totally in the dark about his deception so thinking of it makes me feel a little foolish. You're not alone about those triggers. I'm glad you're going to go out and celebrate. I don't think I can stomach a celebration, so, I'm hanging out at home all dressed up and made up for just myself and reading a book just for fun. Just thought I'd wish you a happy birthday, too, and say....Hang in there and try to have a great night for you tonight!


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Happy Birthday.
I had not completely caught up with how things went for you.
I remember we were both struggling to forgive and move forward in relationships. Gold stars for trying, all around. I think you did way more than I did, and I was super impressed with your fortitude and resilience (still am!) That's what I remember from that time, not all the sadness and hurt, but your resilience and your compassion and your fortitude. So you celebrate that while you're celebrating your birthday. You do have a gift, even though you didn't get one. I hope you know that. Your heart is perfect.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

desert-rose said:


> Apple Ducklings, today is also my birthday and I'm also thinking about last year, when my WH was also entrenched in his affairs. Triggers and unhappiness in my own headspace, too. You're not alone. I'm glad you're going to go out and celebrate. I don't think I can stomach a celebration, so, I'm hanging out at home all dressed up and made up for just myself and reading a book just for fun. Just thought I'd wish you a happy birthday, too, and say....Hang in there and try to have a great night for you tonight!


Happy Birthday to you too, Desert-Rose. I'll be reading tonight as well, alone, in bed. I'm taking a literature course and ironically the reading includes 'Tragedy' and 'The Unbrearable Lightness of Being' (which is what I'm reading tonight, and it's highly relevant). 

I went out earlier with my kids. Didn't feel like it and explained it to them and they were super supportive. I was mistaken by some people for a new friend of mine and her daughter, so that was amusing. Sometimes when you don't feel like doing something but know it might be good for you, you have to do it anyway. Light a candle and blow it out and make a wish. It's your birthday, you deserve it. I love your user name. Very pretty.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

desert-rose said:


> Apple Ducklings, today is also my birthday and I'm also thinking about last year, when my WH was also entrenched in his affairs. Triggers and unhappiness in my own headspace, too. You're not alone. I'm glad you're going to go out and celebrate. I don't think I can stomach a celebration, so, I'm hanging out at home all dressed up and made up for just myself and reading a book just for fun. Just thought I'd wish you a happy birthday, too, and say....Hang in there and try to have a great night for you tonight!


Happy Birthday to you too, DesertRose.

I have a new guy in my life, not anything serious, it's casual, but he came over last night and he made me a home-cooked steak dinner and we shared a bottle of wine, and he brought me a bouquet of flowers. My ex husband was very selfish and never did simple things for me like that. It was very nice to be treated well for a change.

Whatever the rest of your evening brings you, I hope it all goes smoothly.


----------



## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Happy Birthday to you too, DesertRose.
> 
> I have a new guy in my life, not anything serious, it's casual, but he came over last night and he made me a home-cooked steak dinner and we shared a bottle of wine, and he brought me a bouquet of flowers. My ex husband was very selfish and never did simple things for me like that. It was very nice to be treated well for a change.
> 
> Whatever the rest of your evening brings you, I hope it all goes smoothly.


I'm so glad that you have some happiness and company in your life!  Your post sounds really positive, despite negative triggers and memories. Maybe this will be the start of better memories as you overwrite the feelings of sadness that come with the hurtful past.

Cheers for you!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPLE!!! Put on some cute underwear, do your hair and get out there to celebrate. Make eye contact w a hottie and celebrate your birthday!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

BTW apple, I made you a Philly cheese steak sandwich.


----------



## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> *I have a new guy in my life, not anything serious, it's casual,* but he came over last night and he made me a home-cooked steak dinner and we shared a bottle of wine, and he brought me a bouquet of flowers. My ex husband was very selfish and never did simple things for me like that. It was very nice to be treated well for a change.


Good to know that you feel better than a year ago, although memories keep tossing up.

Take care. I must also tell you to take care in any relationship you will be building up in future. Take a real care.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Happy Birthday and welcome back. Just know that years from now you will look back and wonder why that POS made you sad in the first place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Happy belated birthday, Apple! 
Please know that many of the insights, emotions, and experiences that you have shared here have helped me enormously, and I thank you for it and wish you all the best in a better, brighter future. You surely deserve it.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

morituri said:


> BTW apple, I made you a Philly cheese steak sandwich.



it's not a _Philly_ cheese steak _sandwhich_

it's a cheesesteak


get it right dammit


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> it's not a _Philly_ cheese steak _sandwhich_
> 
> it's a cheesesteak
> 
> ...



True, but she can't eat the correct spelling, can she?


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm objecting to the use of "Philly" and "sandwhich", we just call them cheesesteaks

and this is how you order one-

"one wiz wit"


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I'm objecting to the use of "Philly" and "sandwhich", we just call them cheesesteaks
> 
> and this is how you order one-
> 
> "one wiz wit"


Duly noted for future reference.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> it's not a _Philly_ cheese steak _sandwhich_
> 
> it's a cheesesteak
> 
> ...


Happy belated birthday. :smthumbup:

I am in Philly and can get cheesteaks for the whole gang here and they will be authentic. Just let me know if you want me to go to Geno's, Tony Luke's or Pat's King of Steak because in my mind they are the best three cheesteaks places in town.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I prefer Jim's myself


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Truth is, Ive never before ever had a cheesesteak sandwich, ever.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes though. I'm an old lady now, lol but I did have a good day.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Aren't you in your 30s, Apple??


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Aren't you in your 30s, Apple??


yeah


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> yeah


For me the older a woman is, the more beautiful she becomes.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So now you're an "old lady" in your 30s? Girl, you need to check yourself. LOL


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

dirty thirties


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)




----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Old, hell Apple, you are quoting Guns and Roses for God's sake. You rock girl.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> Old, hell Apple, you are quoting Guns and Roses for God's sake. You rock girl.


\m/ >.< \m/


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> \m/ >.< \m/


OMG, LOL, understood the heavy metal horns but not >.< I knew you rock girl.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> OMG, LOL, understood the heavy metal horns but not >.< I knew you rock girl.


>.< is eyes and nose to make a "rocking out" face


----------



## JustaJerk (Dec 2, 2011)

30's... OLD?

I'm in my 30's(33). We're not getting old... we're only getting _BETTER_.

HAPPY _belated_ BIRTHDAY!



> \m/ >.< \m/


[email protected]#$IN' AY, MAN... [email protected]#$IN' AY!


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

JustaJerk said:


> 30's... OLD?
> 
> I'm in my 30's(33). We're not getting old... we're only getting _BETTER_.
> 
> ...


ha ha, rock on

and I'm 35 now.


----------

