# Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?



## NextTimeAround

I'd like to read about men's experiences when dealing with women.

I used to hear a lot that men prefer stability, but then I see situations in which the guy seems to like that edgy woman.

In my situation, I am amazed with my fiance's EA and how she asked about me a lot.... I was told that asking about the "competition" showed insecurity and therefore unattractive...... but some of the other things that she would say to him...... hmmmm.


and my ex husband seemed to favor edgy women as well.....

tell me about a situation in which you were had a relationship with a edgy women ---whether for a few months or a few years ---- what was he giving you that made you want to put up with this edginess?


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## Rob774

When you are young ... late teens, early 20's, who knows even mid - 20's.... the girl with the edge, you felt accomplished because alot of guys would avoid them, because they didn't want to be bothered with the drama that came with. And also, some of these "edgier" women would be amazing in bed, its hard to explain, but their edginess did not stop out side the bedroom. So you knew, if nothing else, you going to be engaged in some amazing s3x. 

Me personally... that get's old fast. These women...are not "wife" material to me. I don't have time for drama, i like calmness, stability, peace and quiet in regards to a wife. Give me regular s3x from my calm wife, then amazing s#x from a woman i can barely stand any day.


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## Faithful Wife

I'm pretty edgy and my husband loves me very much. 

He is also edgy.

Agreed that being edgy can sometimes cause drama...it doesn't have to, though. We have cleaned up the drama and just kept the edge.


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## Toffer

CALM

Got enough other drama and stress in my life as it is


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## nice777guy

I think everyone is drawn to "edgy" at times. But that doesn't always equal "drama."

Asking about the competition...??? That sounds like Drama. I would say most men are not drawn to Drama.


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## EleGirl

Every person is different.

I know guys who are the biggest drama queens.. I mean hetero men.

Some guys, just like some women, like a variety of experiences.

Some guys like stability all the time.


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## Playing Catch-Up

NextTimeAround said:


> I'd like to read about men's experiences when dealing with women.
> 
> I used to hear a lot that men prefer stability, but then I see situations in which the guy seems to like that edgy woman.
> 
> In my situation, I am amazed with my fiance's EA and how she asked about me a lot.... I was told that asking about the "competition" showed insecurity and therefore unattractive...... but some of the other things that she would say to him...... hmmmm.
> 
> 
> and my ex husband seemed to favor edgy women as well.....
> 
> tell me about a situation in which you were had a relationship with a edgy women ---whether for a few months or a few years ---- what was he giving you that made you want to put up with this edginess?


I'm married to an edgy woman and it's definitely a rollercoaster ride for me. We fought just last night about her need for drama, drama, drama, which to her signals that we still have passion for each other. She took a day off last week and spent it fighting with me rather than us doing what we planned, which to her was a great use of the day. 

I want and need calm, at least most of the time. She can have her drama, but then she needs to take a day off. If her A has any silver lining, it's that I've learned I can live without her and she knows this. I've made it clear that I will D if necessary if things don't get better, and part of that is her not being "edgy" 24/7. I'm sure mine is an extreme case though.


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## Cosmos

IMO, drama only becomes drama through lack of boundaries and / or communication. Making people accountable for their own behaviour can cut down on the amount of drama they're likely to create in the future.


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## 2ntnuf

I don't think I understand what "drama" means. I may never have. I always thought of drama as the normal things which cause distress between two people in a relationship. I don't mean just marriage relationships. I'm thinking along the lines of parent/child, sibling disagreements, relationships with old girlfriends/boyfriends, etc. I guess I am thinking of the normal things which we all have to confront in everyday life. They get multiplied by two in marriage. Is that what you are talking about?


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## Wiserforit

You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team. 

But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.


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## Ostera

We are currently attempting R.. my wife seems to thrive on drama/edgy.... It wears on me. But I love the heck out of her... it's weird.


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## 2ntnuf

Wiserforit said:


> You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.
> 
> But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.


Your first paragraph is full of life. Trying to work together toward marital and personal goals is filled with drama. Much of it is inherent to attempting to meet the goals. That is the stuff of life and I think unavoidable in whole.


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## Playing Catch-Up

Wiserforit said:


> You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.
> 
> *But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.*


Lol, my wife used to wake me at 5:30 a.m. to rant at me if it was raining. This is the kind of behavior I just can't do anymore. We're attempting R but I will never go back to putting up with that nonsense.


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## Caribbean Man

Wiserforit said:


> You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.
> 
> But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.


:iagree:

I want good drama, the kind that binds us together as a solid , unbreakable unit, and helps us bond.
The kind that we could look back on and see how we've grown closer.

Not the entitled BS.


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## Wiserforit

2ntnuf said:


> Your first paragraph is full of life. .


If you are doing it right in Alaska then a once-in-a-lifetime experience happens only every six months or so. At eight months pregnant our snowmachine broke down six miles from home, thirty below zero, pitch black from cloud cover, on a trail system I hadn't used for years. We could not go out the way we came in because it was far too long but I was a little confused taking the shortest route because the dog mushers had made new trails I was unfamiliar with and in thick forest everthing looks the same. 

What is so interesting about this life is how oppressive the dead silence is. It feels like this tremendous pressue squeezing in on you, and on that night it seemed very much the same as competing in front of 15,000 screaming fans where you can feel the building shake. You look at each other and not a word between you though, on through the night trudging in the snow. Standing at an intersection, not being certain, but you have to make a decision. Will this add hours going the wrong way and having to return? Will I have to build a snow shelter and leave her? But eventually you faintly hear a dog lot howling in the distance, and you know you are going the right way. But you still have a loooooong way to go, the dominant sound being the footsteps in the snow.

We have so many of these together on a somewhat lesser scale. Felling a hundred foot tree together when it has to go exactly the right way to clear the other trees so it doesn't kick back and squash the both of you. Bears popping out suddenly - what's this guy gonna do? A river rising after you barely crossed it the first time on your four-wheeler. Waking up to forest fires. Talk about moments of panic. 

But you're on the same team and there's no yelling at each other. All the bad drama is from being on opposing teams.


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## 2ntnuf

It kind of forces you to look at reality. The woman you are with depends on you for her very life and you depend on her. 

Yes, arguing is not going to help you stay alive in -30 degree weather. It will only cause death to come more quickly. 

Arguing is an essential part of life. We all argue. As long as healthy rules are followed, there is nothing wrong with arguing your point. There is only something wrong if you don't.

I assume you do not mean screaming and name calling when you say arguing. Screaming and name calling is not what I consider arguing.


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## tacoma

NextTimeAround said:


> tell me about a situation in which you were had a relationship with a edgy women ---whether for a few months or a few years ---- what was he giving you that made you want to put up with this edginess?


Sex, really, really, good sex.


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## Shadow_Nirvana

Well, I am a fan of being somewhere in between because I hate complacency. In fact, I hate it so much that I love it sometimes just to not get complacent about my hate of complacency. Crazy, yes? That's whay I'm writing from an insane asylum.

Okay. Got that little piece of stand-up off my chest.

I don't hate drama. It's a part of life. Without it, life could get pretty boring. On the other hand, if your whole relationship is based just on it, you can get too stressed out. Relationships are supposed to be comfortable, as well as passionate, exhilarating etc. Too much drama=too little comfort.


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## Lyris

My husband loves my passion and deep feelings, but he also loves my peace and calm-in-a-crisis. Drama is too tiring to live with. You can have passion without drama.


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## whitehawk

I reckon a lot of girls thrive on drama . They seem to like the tiniest thing to be talked inside out just for conversation.

Give ya one example.
I smoke right , again . Given up 3 or 4 times but the point is , buying smokes from women in a shop as compared to a guy.
I can promise you , every time it's a female , I have to repeat and walk through with them what I want 3-4 times from the firt ask , all the way to them getting the damn smokes out of the shelf and onto the damn counter to paying.
EVERY TIME . I hate buying smokes from women.
Where as if it's a guy , I'll just say can I have a packet of such and such , bang they're on the counter , price , outa there.
Every time.
So why do the women ask you step by step through the whole big fkg saga of buying a packet of ciggs , dunno but I reckon it's just anything to talk more.

I've also noticed this same thing with many other things when dealing with women. They seem to push for even just repeating something yet they have very sharp hearing. So what else could the unnecessary bs be ?

Edgy , depends in what way . Idiot edgy I can't stand , like this ex gf . Totally unnerved me.
A little edgy though works with me , kinda like it.


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## 2ntnuf

Maybe they are hoping you will talk about something besides cigs. I've had women ask things they know the answer to just to find out if I was interested enough to strike up a conversation. Of course, maybe they just have something else on their mind and aren't concentrating. You won't know unless you talk more and that is your choice.


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## richie33

Right now I will take calm and peace. I need my attention to be in the right places.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## romantic_guy

My wife is not edgy, she is not a drama queen, she is emotionally healthy. I love that about her. She is very low maintenance. That is not to say that she is a pushover. She has a strong personality; she is not afraid to let me know when she disagrees or when I have screwed up. She usually does this in a calm, non-combative way. We have learned in our 40 years of marriage how to communicate without getting personal. There is no way I would want to be with someone who was a drama queen.


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## SimplyAmorous

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm pretty edgy and my husband loves me very much.
> 
> He is also edgy.
> 
> Agreed that being edgy can sometimes cause drama...it doesn't have to, though. We have cleaned up the drama and just kept the edge.


Certain personality types are more edgy by their very nature... I am edgy ....my husband is not so much. But this works for us.....I adore the calm romantic gentleman, he likes the more assertive feisty type female...who can pull his chain now & then....He aims to please and I aim to shake things up from time to time. I mean this in an GOOD way/ it has entertainment value.... 

Yeah ...I've started a # of conflicts over the stupidest things...some end up being so damn funny, we wouldn't even take them back... we start laughing wildly..... then melt into each other ...on to some HOT make Up sex.... Can I call this part of our chemistry .... 

If I get too Hot headed over something that pi$$es me off (happens from time to time)....he knows just how to handle me, he almost finds it amusing being as naturally calm as he is....he'll stand there & make Great fun of me .... he might tell me I need valium or something & I know he is right [email protected]#$ He always gets me  or wanting to punch him ....then he'll grab me -- it's just priceless really. 

If I was with a man who couldn't stand a woman getting a little HOT now & then emotionally, he may FLAME me in a BAD way. 



I thrive on *dissecting* Drama... so I am not necessarily a DRAMA maker... Love bringing 2 people back in harmony for the romance to flow again. (including us !) 

So the pursuit to dig a little, stir the hormones, Banter lively & PLAY....this is my edginess...outside of a few heated moments where I may blow my top in irritation...& there he is ...my calming balm. 

They say women want MEN who are EDGY....this is an allure that holds our attraction....did a thread on that.... 

I'd assume a man who can handle a little of this in a woman ..but has the art & ability to calm her jets is going to have more "excitement" in his marriage/ likely the bedroom too! 

But if she walks all over him, is a motor mouth, complains nonstop, manufactures daily chaos & can't see her own hand in it....ya know ...that's some BAD DRAMA going on...would = miserable to live with. 
....
If my husband was with a calm well contained wall flower... yeah....that would be pretty darn uneventful for him.... he needs my type to rile him up once in a while.


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## southbound

2ntnuf said:


> I don't think I understand what "drama" means. I may never have. I always thought of drama as the normal things which cause distress between two people in a relationship. I don't mean just marriage relationships. I'm thinking along the lines of parent/child, sibling disagreements, relationships with old girlfriends/boyfriends, etc. I guess I am thinking of the normal things which we all have to confront in everyday life. They get multiplied by two in marriage. Is that what you are talking about?


i suppose people have different definitions of drama in life. For me, it's not the "normal" things that happen in everyday life, even though some may be stressful. When i think of people who are drama, I think of people who "always" have something going on or an issue to deal with; in my opinion, they make mountains of molehills. It's usually created by the "attitude" they display toward something. My x-inlaws were like that. they could have more drama in 6 months than I could have in an entire lifetime, seriously.

It's people that can take even ordinary situations and have issues. Some people can have a plumber over, and i assure you there will be something that can cause drama. I always wonder, why does this stuff never happen to me? How is it i associate with other people, drive my car, go to the stores, etc., and I rarely have any drama.

Some people have so much drama that they milk the issues quickly and move on. My x-inlaws had the police come by their house one time because someone had reported their child as a missing person. It was cleared up fairly quickly, but there was some investigating that had to be done. They have so much drama in their lives that they milked it about a week and then never mentioned it again, because more drama moved in to take it's place. If that had happened to my family, it would have been an event of a lifetime because we don't have drama.

there was a woman asked to sit by me at a luch table the other day because she needed to get away from the people at her other table. I asked why, and with a bug-eyed look she said because they were trying to run her life and she was tired of it. I thought, I wonder why nobody is trying to rule my life an causing me to move tables? I wondered what her contribution to the situation was. 

I may have been scattered in my explanation because drama can be expressed in various ways, but as for me, I like calm. I'm not looking for drama.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *Southbound said*: For me, it's not the "normal" things that happen in everyday life, even though some may be stressful. When i think of people who are drama, I think of people who "always" have something going on or an issue to deal with; *in my opinion, they make mountains of molehills. It's usually created by the "attitude" they display toward something.* My x-inlaws were like that.


My family on my Mothers side oozed alot of what I call unnecessary Drama...Oh it was LIVELY... sometimes good...then if too much time together....it'd hit the BAD.... I remember them on Holidays...sitting around the table yakking...we had the Religious Aunt who had to correct everyone who spoke something against the Bible...a little sermon coming our way....then we had my younger Aunt...the free spirited sassy one.. she'd tell her big sister what for. This led to some heated back & forths..

We had my Uncle & Grandpa who just ignored all the women jamming on their guitars...at least some music filled the background (nice memories there)... My Mom -she had her moments- kinda was caught in between the 2 Aunts, could see both sides... then my Grandma couldn't take it and would take off leaving the house, she did this once on Christmas day ...... Even as a young girl I thought to myself.. .they are all Freaking NUTS... I don't want to be like this.. How embarrassing. 

I distinctly remember them all ranting how their cousins would buy them gifts for christmas & they HATED this -like lividly cause then they felt OBLIGATED to buy for them... I was probably only 10...already dissecting how to fix this so I wouldn't have to hear all this ridiculousness over presents for God's sake. I told them all to just stop buying for them, no one wants Obligated giving with an inward SCOWL anyway... then they will stop buying for you.. Wallah ...

We can't help who our family is.. but we can try to learn from some of their behaviors how to not stir the Drama POT...to the point of unhealthy irritation.


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## southbound

SimplyAmorous said:


> My family on my Mothers side oozed alot of what I call unnecessary Drama...Oh it was LIVELY... sometimes good...then if too much time together....it'd hit the BAD.... I remember them on Holidays...sitting around the table yakking...we had the Religious Aunt who had to correct everyone who spoke something against the Bible...a little sermon coming our way....then we had my younger Aunt...the free spirited sassy one.. she'd tell her big sister what for. This led to some heated back & forths..
> 
> We had my Uncle & Grandpa who just ignored all the women jamming on their guitars...at least some music filled the background (nice memories there)... My Mom -she had her moments- kinda was caught in between the 2 Aunts, could see both sides... then my Grandma couldn't take it and would take off leaving the house, she did this once on Christmas day ...... Even as a young girl I thought to myself.. .they are all Freaking NUTS... I don't want to be like this.. How embarrassing.
> 
> I distinctly remember them all ranting how their cousins would buy them gifts for christmas & they HATED this -like lividly cause then they felt OBLIGATED to buy for them... I was probably only 10...already dissecting how to fix this so I wouldn't have to hear all this ridiculousness over presents for God's sake. I told them all to just stop buying for them, no one wants Obligated giving with an inward SCOWL anyway... then they will stop buying for you.. Wallah ...
> 
> We can't help who our family is.. but we can try to learn from some of their behaviors how to not stir the Drama POT...to the point of unhealthy irritation.


Good examples of drama. I wouldn't describe my family as sophisticated, we were just country people, but I suppose i was taught by actions that adults should act very mature and not make big deals of gifts and such. I actually wasn't around people who were very dramatic when i was growing up. Being around these types of people as an adult drives me insane.

I'm not a psychologists, but i think some people actually thrive on being dramatic, even though they might not admit or realize it. It makes them feel alive to turn a paper-cut into a trip to the ER rather than putting a band-aid on it and continuing with their day, so to speak.


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## SimplyAmorous

southbound said:


> I'm not a psychologists, but i think some people actually thrive on being dramatic, even though they might not admit or realize it. *It makes them feel alive to turn a paper-cut into a trip to the ER rather than putting a band-aid on it and continuing with their day, so to speak.*


Here is how I am when my kids get hurt... I go over... I say.."Do you know who I am, can you move your legs....Get up, can you walk? - if they do, I say..."your Ok ... you'll LIVE".... If I see Blood ....so long as it doesn't require stitches... I don't make a fuss.. I know what to look for to access the situation... read a lot of health books in my time...

I should probably be a little more lovey dovey as a MOM, I know I act more like a man in this respect with my kids.. I think my husband gets more bent out of shape over one of them getting hurt. 

Now if it was something REALLY serious /life threatening, I'd probably faint... but I don't make any fuss at all over the temporary ...this is to be expected, a bump in the road of living...it doesn't hurt my day...Temporary = BLESSING ..... just like when we are in the company of people we are not crazy about... you remind yourself... we don't live with them... so it's good, we get to go home! 

Speaking of a band aid... A few yrs back now, our youngest stumbles up the stairs all disgruntled, got that frustrated whining going on, he throws himself on the floor & says..."I need a bandaid" ...a few seconds later ..."I need surgery"... a few seconds later ..."I need an AmbEEance". 

I was utterly ignoring him... then I thought about what he said... how funny it was - such [email protected]#$% Milking it good.. but he was only 3 ! Must have been pretty minor, he got up, walked back downstairs & got into something else... 

We shouldn't cater to that...if teens are still doing this -it may lead into adulthood. Of course I kiss boo Boos & all though, I am not that bad. Ha ha


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## southbound

SimplyAmorous said:


> Here is how I am when my kids get hurt... I go over... I say.."Do you know who I am, can you move your legs....Get up, can you walk? - if they do, I say..."your Ok ... you'll LIVE".... If I see Blood ....so long as it doesn't require stitches... I don't make a fuss.. I know what to look for to access the situation... read a lot of health books in my time...
> 
> I should probably be a little more lovey dovey as a MOM, I know I act more like a man in this respect with my kids.. I think my husband gets more bent out of shape over one of them getting hurt.
> 
> Now if it was something REALLY serious /life threatening, I'd probably faint... but I don't make any fuss at all over the temporary ...this is to be expected, a bump in the road of living...it doesn't hurt my day...Temporary = BLESSING ..... just like when we are in the company of people we are not crazy about... you remind yourself... we don't live with them... so it's good, we get to go home!
> 
> Speaking of a band aid... A few yrs back now, our youngest stumbles up the stairs all disgruntled, got that frustrated whining going on, he throws himself on the floor & says..."I need a bandaid" ...a few seconds later ..."I need surgery"... a few seconds later ..."I need an AmbEEance".
> 
> I was utterly ignoring him... then I thought about what he said... how funny it was - such [email protected]#$% Milking it good.. but he was only 3 ! Must have been pretty minor, he got up, walked back downstairs & got into something else...
> 
> We shouldn't cater to that...if teens are still doing this -it may lead into adulthood. Of course I kiss boo Boos & all though, I am not that bad. Ha ha


Sure, I have no doubt you will take care of your kids. I was actually just using the "paper cut" as an analogy to show how some people turn the "paper cuts" of life into a big deal for the sake of drama. 

There was a pregnant lady at work recently, and that is all she talked about. She would enter a meeting talking about her aches and pains, and how pregnant she was, blah, blah, blah. She was driving everyone nuts, including her female co-workers.


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## whitehawk

2ntnuf said:


> Maybe they are hoping you will talk about something besides cigs. I've had women ask things they know the answer to just to find out if I was interested enough to strike up a conversation. Of course, maybe they just have something else on their mind and aren't concentrating. You won't know unless you talk more and that is your choice.



Yeah I mean it could be as simple as that. I spose we all encourage a bit more chit chat with what ever's at hand if we feel like some . Could be just that , have wondered for years though.


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## RandomDude

I've always liked a challenge, but there's a difference between a challenge and outright annoyance however.


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## NextTimeAround

RandomDude said:


> I've always liked a challenge, but there's a difference between a challenge and outright annoyance however.


Give some examples as to how challenging behavior can cross the line into annoying behavior.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My husband can not stand drama. We both like a calm environment, especially in our home.


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## SimplyAmorous

southbound said:


> There was a pregnant lady at work recently, and that is all she talked about. She would enter a meeting talking about her aches and pains, and how pregnant she was, blah, blah, blah. She was driving everyone nuts, including her female co-workers.


Yes met these types...everyone wants to RUN from that... honestly I've had friends who go on like this, I've been cunning enough to HINT HINT HINT....."Ok..Ok..we get it "....and state back to them in some humorous manner the onslaught of whining ......just to have the  come on....the subject needs changed.... 

I don't like obsessive talkers...we all need some "give & take"...some consideration. 

I try to always be sensitive to *the INTEREST of others* ...as I think we all appreciate this -as well. 

If I feel someone I am talking could give a crap about a subject...(the eyes give this away & their lack of feedback )..... this is when you shut up & ask them a question, or at the very least...change the subject.... it's such a simple concept really. 

Otherwise....yakking & whiney like that ...it's just wasted breath, wasted time (not like these people can help you)....and you end up not even being liked.. but someone to be ran from, avoided.


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## Openminded

Drama, to me, means "Look at me, look at me, *look at me*!!!"

I find it exhausting --- no matter who it's coming from.


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## southbound

Openminded said:


> Drama, to me, means "Look at me, look at me, *look at me*!!!"
> 
> I find it exhausting --- no matter who it's coming from.


Yes, I believe "look at me" is the purpose of it, and the ways they get there is exhausting to people around them. I don't think drama people actually realize it to a degree. I didn't grow up thinking my family was necessarily "calm," I just thought we were normal. By the same token, when someone grows up in a drama family, they just think it's a normal lifestyle. Whew! Drama drives me insane!


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## 2ntnuf

A thought just occurred to me. Do the men regularly on TAM like drama? Not trying to derail this thread. I just thought it is something to think about.


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## Jax10

For whatever it is worth, I am for "calm". Drama tends to lead to so much trouble and for no real reason. People often want to make more of things than they need too.


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## Ikaika

Calm... but of course that is just the way my life happens to be with my wife and I am goo with it. If I found myself single again (and with my boys here with me), definitely have to be calm, very very calm. My oldest ASD boys provides enough drama to last two lifetimes.


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## Wiltshireman

I would love more "calm" as my wife seems to be able to find drama at every turn and in her mind turn every drama into a crisis.

When one of the kids has a cold she thinks it’s the flu.
When there is a blackout she thinks it will last for days.
When she had a bump in the minibus she thought it was a right off.

I am the one who has to "stay calm, assess the situation and act accordingly". 

I wife thinks that I do not take her worries seriously which can cause tension.


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## Ellie5

Science has a lot to say about the influence of hormones - which I believe play a huge part in behaviour, for both men and women.

My H always prefers calm. So do I. 

However, I also know that on certain days in the month, as a woman, I can be prone to being a drama queen, and just like millions of other women, realize that hormones play a HUGE part in this. I can't help the fact I want to cry sometimes, for no reason. Yet I can also use logic and understand that it is often related to my hormones and therefore realize it's temporary - 

From a biological perspective, women nurture, talk, empathize. Men are possibly wired more to act, fix, do. I'm no scientist and no expert, but do believe that the more we simply try to *undertstand* gender differences, the more peace we can find away from what we individually interpret as *drama*. At least from an emotional perspective.


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## Sanity

As I get older I crave peace at home and the only edge I want is in the bedroom. Out of the bedroom lets keep it civil please or GFTO.


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## Sanity

NextTimeAround said:


> Give some examples as to how challenging behavior can cross the line into annoying behavior.



Anything said in a disrespectful tone or loud is one. 
2. Repeatedly 
Showing aggression 
impatience.


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## ScarletBegonias

not a guy but I prefer the calm.I realized how calm my home environment is from a while ago when SO and I raised our voices in tension.My dogs ran and hid under furniture,shaking and whining.Later, I realized they were not accustomed to tension coming from us.I consider that a good thing.


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## VermisciousKnid

I prefer calm. People who create drama are self-centered and generally boring. It's as if their connection to the larger world and all its real drama is non-existent so they have to create their own just for entertainment.


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## Rowan

My husband always told me how much he appreciated how "low maintenance" I was, how drama-free. But the truth is that he craves drama in his life. He's a knight-in-shining-armor type who also has a very short attention span. He required a regular stream of drama and he needed it to come from novel sources. He needed "new" and he needed that "new" to come with issues - drug addiction, abusive husband, eating disorders, family problems, emotional issues - that he could get involved with. After all, it's no fun saving the damsel if she's not in distress.

Intellectually, he liked that I was low drama, and would tell you that he prefers a lack of drama in his life. He knows that's the "correct" guy answer. But in reality, that wasn't what was attractive to him on a basic level. He needed the excitement of women with problems who need saving. Drama.


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## okeydokie

I have a man cave to escape the drama between my wife and 17 yo daughter, it gets quite outrageous at times


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## southbound

Rowan said:


> My husband always told me how much he appreciated how "low maintenance" I was, how drama-free. But the truth is that he craves drama in his life. He's a knight-in-shining-armor type who also has a very short attention span. He required a regular stream of drama and he needed it to come from novel sources. He needed "new" and he needed that "new" to come with issues - drug addiction, abusive husband, eating disorders, family problems, emotional issues - that he could get involved with. After all, it's no fun saving the damsel if she's not in distress.
> 
> Intellectually, he liked that I was low drama, and would tell you that he prefers a lack of drama in his life. He knows that's the "correct" guy answer. But in reality, that wasn't what was attractive to him on a basic level. He needed the excitement of women with problems who need saving. Drama.


Whew! I say I don't like drama, and I'm not just saying it to be correct. I don't need a damsel in distress to feel alive. I guess everybody is just different. I've never understood people who need drama, and I guess they don't understand the need for calm and sanity.


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