# Over Headed



## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

Materialism is bigger than King. I am off work and my wife immediately made it clear that if I am not bringing home steady money then she is not onboard for steady loving. I couldn't see it at the time but something bigger in me must have clicked. I was off work starting January 1st - actually December 31st.

She started acting out and not supportive immediately. I don't care for your fake sympathy, so I won't say why I was off work but let me say if I thought it was going to be like this I wish I never met her.

I am here because not a cheating spouse but one who does not love me. She has made it about the money and convinced me that she can't change anything about herself. She refuses to budge and is stuck on winning. I am just wondering how can you tell if a person loves you personally? 

Thank you for reading. I am unlucky for sure.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

lukeyandlost said:


> Materialism is bigger than King. I am off work and my wife immediately made it clear that if I am not bringing home steady money then she is not onboard for steady loving. I couldn't see it at the time but something bigger in me must have clicked. I was off work starting January 1st - actually December 31st.
> 
> She started acting out and not supportive immediately. I don't care for your fake sympathy, so I won't say why I was off work but let me say if I thought it was going to be like this I wish I never met her.
> 
> I am here because of a cheating spouse. I do not need to talk about it or prove anything. Thank you for reading. I am unlucky for sure.


So why are you here? What do you want?


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> So why are you here? What do you want?


Oops, I will edit my original. I am here because I am wondering if other perspectives exists. How should I feel if I say that I committed to for better or for worse. She was only in it for money and whatever fun she could have. We are on the eve of the actual failure but while I wait I am wondering if there isn't something more to consider.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

lukeyandlost said:


> Oops, I will edit my original. I am here because I am wondering if other perspectives exists. How should I feel if I say that I committed to for better or for worse. She was only in it for money and whatever fun she could have. We are on the eve of the actual failure but while I wait I am wondering if there isn't something more to consider.


So what is your focus then? Money? Or infidelity?
You posted this in the Financial forum is why I’m asking.

Whats your status? Are you going to divorce? Or something else?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lukeyandlost said:


> Materialism is bigger than King. I am off work and my wife immediately made it clear that if I am not bringing home steady money then she is not onboard for steady loving. I couldn't see it at the time but something bigger in me must have clicked. I was off work starting January 1st - actually December 31st.
> 
> She started acting out and not supportive immediately. I don't care for your fake sympathy, so I won't say why I was off work but let me say if I thought it was going to be like this I wish I never met her.
> 
> ...


More info is needed.

How long have your been married?
Do you have any children with your wife? If so, how many?
Does your wife have a full-time job?
What portion of your joint income does your wife earn if she has a job?

How long were you off work? What does "off work" mean? Does it mean that you were fired and cannot go back to work the job you had before 12/31/2021/

From what you wrote, it sounds like you have been unemployed since 12/31/2021. Is this right?

Is this the first and only time that you have been unemployed since you married her?

What have you been doing since you became 'off of work'? How much effort are you putting into getting back to work?


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

lukeyandlost said:


> I am unlucky for sure.


You create your own luck is what you do. If you have been sitting around on your ass then she might be growing tired of it. If you have been actively seeking employment and haven't caught any breaks, then it could be a case of her being unreasonable. 

Does she work full time? Do you have children? There is too little info in your initial post.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

lukeyandlost said:


> Materialism is bigger than King. I am off work and my wife immediately made it clear that *if I am not bringing home steady money then she is not onboard for steady loving.* I couldn't see it at the time but something bigger in me must have clicked. I was off work starting January 1st - actually December 31st.
> 
> She started acting out and not supportive immediately. I don't care for your fake sympathy, so I won't say why I was off work but let me say if I thought it was going to be like this I wish I never met her.
> 
> ...


I put the salient parts of your post in* bold*.
It appears very clear that she views you as a workhorse.
You are her meal ticket.
Her agenda is not served by you being home in your recliner with your hoofs in the air.
She has made her terms clear in that if you want nookie, you better bring home a paycheck.
You don't state why you aren't working? Were you laid off, injured or disabled? 
If the reason for not working is one of the latter two, does she assist you in any manner in restoring your health?
If not, at best, you are with someone whose love is "Conditional."
You have to decide if that is good enough for you.
It wouldn't be for me.


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

Tdbo said:


> I put the salient parts of your post in* bold*.
> It appears very clear that she views you as a workhorse.
> You are her meal ticket.
> Her agenda is not served by you being home in your recliner with your hoofs in the air.
> ...


Thank you for your response.


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

Benbutton said:


> You create your own luck is what you do. If you have been sitting around on your ass then she might be growing tired of it. If you have been actively seeking employment and haven't caught any breaks, then it could be a case of her being unreasonable.
> 
> Does she work full time? Do you have children? There is too little info in your initial post.


Okay then - best regards.


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> More info is needed.
> 
> How long have your been married?
> Do you have any children with your wife? If so, how many?
> ...


I get your drift. Take care.


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## lukeyandlost (3 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> So what is your focus then? Money? Or infidelity?
> You posted this in the Financial forum is why I’m asking.
> 
> Whats your status? Are you going to divorce? Or something else?


It isn't for me to shop an answer - I see that I put it in the finance section so that is interesting.


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