# am I overreacting??



## m4boyz (Feb 28, 2012)

yesterday was my husbands birthday and he has 2 children from previous relationships and he hadn't told me for sure if he was gonna be able to spend time with both of them....but when I called him yesterday after i picked up my 2 kids from daycare he notified me that he had his kids since about 3ish and was returning them to their mother around 6 and that his mother took him and kids to get some ice cream for his birthday and the kids got hungry so they ate Mcdonalds....which is fine don't get me wrong, I was at work and he only gets to see his kids every other weekend but it bothers me that we've been together for over a year now and he knows how hard it was for my kids to open up to him and get so that they're attached to him and now that they are it seems like it's still only his kids that matter to him, I guess what I'm getting at is that I wish he would've thought about picking up my kids too to celebrate his birthday with his kids since he knew he wasn't gonna wanna do anything when he got home...
I'm just wondering if maybe I'm overreacting or do I have reason to be hurt by his actions


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Just an oversight and poor planning in this case, I would think! Next special occasion, try doing something that includes everybody, and make sure everyone's aware of the plan.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> it seems like it's still only his kids that matter to him


"It seems" are the operative words here. That's how it may seem to you, but you do not know that is what he is really thinking. Please don't jump to conclusions or make assumptions.

To me, it seems like he didn't know whether he would be seeing his kids, it turned out that he did and his MOTHER ended up taking him and the kids out. So, this was not something he planned and specifically excluded your kids - it's something that ended up happening that way, perhaps because his mother ended up getting involved, too. Unexpectedly. 

I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but if it is bothering you, ask him whether he had considered picking your kids up from daycare to have them join the ice cream trip. Ask if it would have been possible to do so based on how things developed that day. And tell him that you would have liked if he had included them, too, but keep an open mind to his explanations on why it didn't.


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## m4boyz (Feb 28, 2012)

thanks everyone your advice is greatly appreciated!!!


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