# almost 19 daughter



## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

she is a smart well rounded girl... 

top of her class received scholar ships and working at a bank... oldest of 6 so lots to show...

ok she went back to bad for her guy... he dropped out in 10th no GED yet... troubles with the law.... no drivers license... works low jobs when he wants... she is in love...

dad very upset... she still lives at home and works and college and bought a puppy and well not home much comes to do her wash... he is mad since he knows she is dating a looser and there talking marriage... so he is making life very hard for her and i fear she will just leave... and not on good terms.

he said her dog her care... she pays sisters little bit to clean up after and feed when she is not home (boyfriend allergies so can't take the dog with her when she stays there) and sisters love and are ok with the arrangement he said last night they are not allowed to do it for her...? so it will fall on me or she will have give up dog (i am hopping they will end and she will have dog when she comes back... they broke up before he cheated and things not great so i can hope) but she may have to choose to get rid of dog (and rest of girls after 6 months with are attached to it) but dad says it is a point he is making...

and he is just nit picking everything about her room to well everything,,, last night she texted me and said she is tired of it and is just going to move in with boy friend... a few town away.. ;( and the dog she will give to your younger sister and if dad says no then she will give to a friend... she is i can tell getting very mad.... 

she does point out she has and pays her own car, her own insurance, full scholarship so never asked us to help with school... and not sure what else she can do to make dad happy i really don't know what to say... and it is putting a bad spot between me and him really bad.... and the next daughter who will be 18... wounders if she will be next target... he don't care for her boyfriend either... to young (one year than her) and lazy...

can i do anything?


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## Alexandra (Jan 9, 2010)

Is it possible to sit dad and daughter down together to civilly discuss the issue? If he really feels that she's making the wrong decision with this bf, then he should tell her straight - without anger but with love.

This is a difficult situation for you to be in. Momma bear trying to protect her kids, please her hubby AND take care of a puppy. Oi, that's a tough one!

Can the dad have a heart to heart with the bf? This may help him to feel like he's done something (and then he wouldn't feel like he has to put his foot down about the dog).

You really can't do much but mediate and try to support your family in the best way possible  Blessings to you!


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

there two much alike... i did talk to him last night and stated we will not always like what she does but we will always love her...
she is staying away alot these days so i think the cooling time is ok for her and him...
i know he will not sit down with bf she has known and like this boy for 7 years and at 1st he came around and my hubby would take him on jobs with him to clean up stuff and he would come home and say how the boy talked about "banging" a chick (not dating our daughter at the time) and things like "i could score in so many mins" and stuff my hubby did tell him he was a pig and that was not right to talk about a girl that way (being a father of 6 girls he is more sensitive to that) and then the run in with the cops (boy took a car and crashed it before he had his license) i just think my hubby knows the bad side of the boy.
but since with my daughter (i did tell her about the stuff) she said he's been working 2 jobs and never talkes to her that way.. i do think alot of his talk was that talk and for the "boys" but did wrong saying it in front of her father...
i said to my daughter maybe the boy should go to her dad "be a man" her father would respect that even if he don't like him???
i guess time will tell.


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

Well, speaking from a father's POV. I think your husband is scared.

He could be afraid that she's making a bad decision and she will get hurt in the long run. He's worried that she'll get dragged down with this guy and not live up to the potential that she has. He's worried that he'll wind up hurting her and won't treat her like she should be treated. Fathers can feel like they need to protect their little girls and it can be hard to let them out into the big bad world on their own. (I'm not there yet, my oldest is 8, but this is how I would likely feel)

Instead of dealing with this fear by talking about it with you and your daughter, he's lashing out with anger/frustration. He might not know how else to get his feelings across.

What was their relationship like before the boy? Were they very close? If so, he could be worried that she won't need him anymore.

The best bet is to have them sit down and discuss it like adults. He needs to express his concerns and she needs to hear them and provide her reassurance.

Having 'the boy' come around and be able to demonstrate that he's grown up since he was first coming around might help too.


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