# Legal issues...need advice



## marriedwoman (Apr 30, 2011)

okay, I asked my husband to move out 2 weeks ago from this past wednesday. I said I needed time and space to decide on what I wanted, whether or not I could see this marriage working. He said okay. I've given him time to move out... no rush, until about 2 days ago he said he's be moving back in with his parents. Then I started asking him more often when he was going to go and what was going to happen while we were separated.

He was suppose to go tonight.

When I came home tonight, he wasn't packed. He told me that he didn't know if I could legally kick him out, and that it was unfair of me to kick him out when he's been depending on me to support him. 

Crap! I own the house, and most of everything. He only works part time and has been going back on forth on school for the last year or so... he's been in school for 4 years actually, with no degree and no set plans. Hence a big reason why I'm unhappy. The only joint thing we own is our one car. We argued for about 30mins after he told me this was what he was thinking. Then talked for another 2 hours, during which he said he wanted to work on us still. I kept just telling him i needed time to myself because I haven't been happy in over a year. (We've only been married about 2.5 years) We've tried working on it together, and therapy, and nothing much helped. 

To be honest, I think I have completely checked out now, and now I just feel even more stuck. He told me if I want a divorce, that I will have to file for divorce, and then evict him. He said he will also be contacting a lawyer. But he is in no rush to move out, and that all of this should take about 4 months to do. 

He is completey able to work, just doesn't. Even though I've told him I want him to... another reason I'm unhappy. 
I only make about 55k a year. If I divorce him, what kind of "support" could he seek from me? Does it matter too that I would be supporting a house by myself? He went to school before we got married, and I bought the house about 2months before we got married. 

Help! Any advice from anyone? I feel afraid now, like I am completely stuck in this marriage now. I hate it. I definitely can't afford to go through a difficult divorce. I honestly was thinking of trying when he moved out, but now I honestly feel like he could care less about me and my happiness, and only himself and what I can do for him. I feel so horrible right now. 
and I almost can't explain the anger. =(


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You really need to talk to a lawyer, and things will likely depend on where you live. My initial thought is that you won't be able to kick him out, as it's the marital home. He might get some support from you, but due to the length if your marriage, it shouldn't last long. Around here, the fact that you're "supporting a house" would be meaningless, as you have the option of selling the house if it gets too expensive.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stoomey74 (Sep 20, 2009)

Not a legal person but is his name on the deed? Did you buy it when you were married? If not you may have a case, but usually it is a 50 50 arrangement and you can only legally make him leave if he is threatening you or causing you harm. Again not a lawyer


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have not provided enough information for a good response. How long have you been married? What state do you live in?


Generally one spouse cannot kick the other out of the marital home. It's his home as much as it is yours. 

As for home ownership, in most states he is entitled to 50% of any equity the house has earned since your marriage. Since you bought the house before you married, he's probably not entitled to any of what you put down to buy the house if that created equity.

As for spousal support, he could get interim spousal support until the divorce is final. Whether or not he can get alimoney after your divorce is very much dependent on your state laws and the length of your marriage.


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## marriedwoman (Apr 30, 2011)

I own the house, so no, his name is not on the mortgage. 
We've only been married about 2.5 years, with no children. 

He says that he wants to stay and work on the marriage without separating. I still feel I need space to decide what I want to do. Honestly, I don't even know if I like him anymore, and I'm asking myself that even more now that he's put me in this position. I love him, but am not in love with him. 
We get along great as friends, but there is no romance. 

I'm starting to think though that if he isn't such a bad guy, maybe I should just try to make this work. MC is something I would consider going back to, but it's so gosh darn expensive! ...less expensive than a divorce though, right? =/

Should I try to make this work? I don't want to have to leave my house, a house that I own and that I bought. 
I have some resentment towards him now, 

that is normal though right? 
Feel like a lot of the things he's done has caused me to build resentment towards him. And I think I could forgive him, but I almost feel like if I stay and work on it, that I'm giving in/giving him his way/letting him be a bum and not a man. 

I'm just so angry right now. 
But he's not a bad guy. He's just so friggin' lazy! I dont' know how to build a life with someone like that.


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## marriedwoman (Apr 30, 2011)

(When I say I don't want to leave my house... It's because I've considered going to stay with my parents, even if just for a few days.... and I don't like the position he's put me in, because now it's like i have to decide on whether to work on this, or get a divorce. There is not option to just have time to myself, and think. It's going to be a more rushed decision either way... but I guess in the end either ending is possible still, right?) 

yuck. 
Marriage is just a messy legal obligation to someone else. 
If someone ever asks me about marriage, I will tell them don't do it!


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

First thing to do ask him to see a therapist individually if he really wants things to work. The next thing to do is start documenting every expense you've had for him in the last 2.5 years. With it being 2.5 years, it is unlikely a judge would require alimony in your case. If you own the home free and clear and you bought it before the marriage you should be able to keep it without splitting anything.

Discuss this with a lawyer that is willing to do a free one hour consult. The one to see is the one right next to the courthouse. They'll be able to tell you how a judge will rule with your specifics. Then go and file. 

This will show your husband how serious you are and likely give him the push he needs to leave. You can postpone anything indefinitely. 

*You won't want to read the next part*

The more sticky question is why would you husband being lazy bother you? Do you have expectations you haven't told him about, a plan that he isn't living up to? Are your standards to high for the person YOU chose? A successful marriage isn't a my way or highway situation and that is what you are feeding him. Stop using the fact that you have a job to beat him into submission. Yours could be gone tomorrow. Then where would you be? The resentment you have you created. No one is holding the fact that he's working part time and considering going back to school against him but you. Oh and anyone else you've been able to convince to see it your way.

GearHead


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