# Papers signed today.



## Canada75 (Jan 15, 2017)

Just having a very sad day. 
17 years and a life time of memories erased by a stroke of a pen.
I will never understand why she would just throw it all away for someone new.


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Sir, for what its worth, she is a foolish woman. Go out and find someone better. Find someone who will not betray you for some strange.


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Canada75 said:


> Just having a very sad day.
> 17 years and a life time of memories erased by a stroke of a pen.
> I will never understand why she would just throw it all away for someone new.


 @Canada75 I signed on Friday was tough but a marriage takes two and she did not want to be part of it, It sucks I know it is terrible but you will move on you just need to get a new routine and life that does not involve her.

Are you in IC? the best thing I have done is avoid all contact and thoughts of my XW and talked to as many people as possible about how it all made me feel, the more you talk, the more you start to accept it and eventually you will be able to move on.

You dont want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, it is a scary time and very depressing but it will and does get better.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Trust me!

She might find herself in solitude at some quiet moment or another. It is then when she starts seriously thinking about what it was that she gave up, all for the new exciting piece of a$$ that she had found; when internally, she finds herself rueing the day that she ever elected to throw all of those dreams asunder, greatly in search of "perfection!"*


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

arbitrator said:


> *Trust me!
> 
> She might find herself in solitude at some quiet moment or another. It is then when she starts seriously thinking about what it was that she gave up, all for the new exciting piece of a$$ that she had found; when internally, she finds herself rueing the day that she ever elected to throw all of those dreams asunder, greatly in search of "perfection!"*


Funny you say this, one of my XW's friends told me 'she will regret this for sure' she wanted to set me up with a hot friend to give her a reality check.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

My uncle cheated on his wife for many years, years ago. She divorced him. 
He is now cheating on his mistress who he has been with for many years (karma, no-one in the family will tell her, neither will I. Everyone doesn't like her and liked the wife). 
However, he often says that he regrets cheating on his wife, it wasn't worth it. I think the mistress has her claws in. 
His kids are grown up but way closer to their mother, he regrets breaking up his family for what he has now. (My heart i bleeding,,, not!).


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Canada75 said:


> Just having a very sad day.
> 17 years and a life time of memories erased by a stroke of a pen.
> I will never understand why she would just throw it all away for someone new.


Let yourself be sad today. But tomorrow is a new day and the start of the adventure that will be the rest of your life. If you think its too hard and you just really would rather not. Then this is a wake up call and is why she left in the first place.

So what you going to do wallow in self pitty or be excited to start you adventure.

Plus you get to try some strange!


----------



## Canada75 (Jan 15, 2017)

chillymorn69 said:


> Let yourself be sad today. But tomorrow is a new day and the start of the adventure that will be the rest of your life. If you think its too hard and you just really would rather not. Then this is a wake up call and is why she left in the first place.
> 
> So what you going to do wallow in self pitty or be excited to start you adventure.
> 
> Plus you get to try some strange!


Yep, I understand. Move on and move forward.....just a low day. Guess knowing it is all signed and sealed hit me hard today. It is been a fast 7 months from the time she told me she needed some space to now....not fast actually, painful slow but it all rushed back today after the signing. Better times ahead I know, just going to take some time to get there and to get through the hurt and rejection of the women I have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to and whom I thought I would grow old with. 
At least I got my son 50% of the time, and I ended up getting child support....and the house....so it could be worse as I'm sure some of you know.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Canada75 said:


> Yep, I understand. Move on and move forward.....just a low day. Guess knowing it is all signed and sealed hit me hard today. It is been a fast 7 months from the time she told me she needed some space to now....not fast actually, painful slow but it all rushed back today after the signing. Better times ahead I know, just going to take some time to get there and to get through the hurt and rejection of the women I have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to and whom I thought I would grow old with.
> *At least I got my son 50% of the time, and I ended up getting child support....and the house....so it could be worse as I'm sure some of you know.*


*Trust me! Just knowing that you have your child and your house is sheerly worth the price of admission!

There will be much bluer skies ahead for you! By opening your heart, a good hearted woman will come to truly love and cherish you for the man and the father who you are!*


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Canada75 said:


> Yep, I understand. Move on and move forward.....just a low day. Guess knowing it is all signed and sealed hit me hard today. It is been a fast 7 months from the time she told me she needed some space to now....not fast actually, painful slow but it all rushed back today after the signing. Better times ahead I know, just going to take some time to get there and to get through the hurt and rejection of the women I have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to and whom I thought I would grow old with.
> At least I got my son 50% of the time, and I ended up getting child support....and the house....so it could be worse as I'm sure some of you know.


Many plus's here for you, you maintain a relationship with you son and gain 50% free time to do things for yourself. 

I lost my 401k, had to buy her out the house, pay alimony and child support and discovered she was cheating with a professional who i was funding while i was at home with our children and I am managing to smile again most days.

Trust me it gets better you just need to find out who you want to be and what you want to do and do it, probably the first time in 17 years you have that freedom.


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Canada75 said:


> Yep, I understand. Move on and move forward.....just a low day. Guess knowing it is all signed and sealed hit me hard today.* It is been a fast 7 months from the time she told me she needed some space *to now....not fast actually, painful slow but it all rushed back today after the signing. Better times ahead I know, just going to take some time to get there and to get through the hurt and rejection of the women I have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to and whom I thought I would grow old with.
> At least I got my son 50% of the time, and I ended up getting child support....and the house....so it could be worse as I'm sure some of you know.


Was it another man the entire time?


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Once again, let me reiterate what I see in my practice on a more than occasional basis: 40, 50 & 60ish women who tossed out the original hubby because, "the grass was greener". This is a nebulous statement, however, I have come to understand that it means, "a new lover", "a richer man", the potential to have a string of lovers. fun times, and the best one I heard, "I was scared of getting old and regretting". They figured there was a pool of guys just waiting to sweep them off their feet, or they had gone to another guy. 

Then reality sets in. Could be a year, could be five. They realize that the marriage was not even one tenth as bad as they made it out to be. Some come running back to hubby if he will have them, (one is five years and ten guys down, she asked hubby to come back, he replied; when you left you were my wife, now your just a used up old *****.) Most have had hubby go off and find someone else. Some have mental breakdowns when they hear hubby remarried, because somewhere in the back of their delusion was the thought that they could go off on their own and then hubby would be waiting...no dice.

Canada, a better life awaits you. Do not be surprised if she shows up on your doorstep a year or so down the road. My BF is on his third. His first admits that she thought that he'd be around after she went on her voyage of "discovery". She wrecked the guy, he moved on, first with a short rebound, and finally with the woman who has been his wife now for 20 years. At their daughter's wedding, when the parents danced, she had nobody. It was actually painful to watch.


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

:smthumbup::iagree::thumbup:


Taxman said:


> Once again, let me reiterate what I see in my practice on a more than occasional basis: 40, 50 & 60ish women who tossed out the original hubby because, "the grass was greener". This is a nebulous statement, however, I have come to understand that it means, "a new lover", "a richer man", the potential to have a string of lovers. fun times, and the best one I heard, "I was scared of getting old and regretting". They figured there was a pool of guys just waiting to sweep them off their feet, or they had gone to another guy.
> 
> Then reality sets in. Could be a year, could be five. They realize that the marriage was not even one tenth as bad as they made it out to be. Some come running back to hubby if he will have them, (one is five years and ten guys down, she asked hubby to come back, he replied; when you left you were my wife, now your just a used up old *****.) Most have had hubby go off and find someone else. Some have mental breakdowns when they hear hubby remarried, because somewhere in the back of their delusion was the thought that they could go off on their own and then hubby would be waiting...no dice.
> 
> Canada, a better life awaits you. Do not be surprised if she shows up on your doorstep a year or so down the road. My BF is on his third. His first admits that she thought that he'd be around after she went on her voyage of "discovery". She wrecked the guy, he moved on, first with a short rebound, and finally with the woman who has been his wife now for 20 years. At their daughter's wedding, when the parents danced, she had nobody. It was actually painful to watch.


:smthumbup::iagree::thumbup: even some in there 30's if married young :grin2:


----------



## Canada75 (Jan 15, 2017)

Malaise said:


> Was it another man the entire time?


Really not sure, there is one now and has been at least since March. It seems 4 months after a 17 year relationship seems too short a time to jump into dating again so I think the spark was lit before we broke up.


----------



## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

Canada75 said:


> Yep, I understand. Move on and move forward.....just a low day. Guess knowing it is all signed and sealed hit me hard today. It is been a fast 7 months from the time she told me she needed some space to now....not fast actually, painful slow but it all rushed back today after the signing. Better times ahead I know, just going to take some time to get there and to get through the hurt and rejection of the women I have dedicated the last 17 years of my life to and whom I thought I would grow old with.
> At least I got my son 50% of the time, and I ended up getting child support....and the house....so it could be worse as I'm sure some of you know.


I feel so sorry for you. Your wife did a horrible thing. I don't understand, with your case and Moving Forward's case, it is bad enough the wife is cheating, but she lies and tells you there is no one else, and you believe it until the very end when the treachery is revealed. But I think you and Moving Forward will recover after some time.


----------



## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Canada75 said:


> Really not sure, there is one now and has been at least since March. It seems 4 months after a 17 year relationship seems too short a time to jump into dating again so I think the spark was lit before we broke up.


Some of us suspected that. 

What added another level of bad to your situation was, IMO, she said she " needed space " and gave you ( or am I wrong ? ) the indication that it was a temporary thing. I remember you were in limbo, she would meet you for coffee and dinners giving the impression it was only temporary. You're right, I think, she had someone lined up and wanted to try him out.

She kept you hanging on as plan B.


----------



## Canada75 (Jan 15, 2017)

Malaise said:


> Some of us suspected that.
> 
> What added another level of bad to your situation was, IMO, she said she " needed space " and gave you ( or am I wrong ? ) the indication that it was a temporary thing. I remember you were in limbo, she would meet you for coffee and dinners giving the impression it was only temporary. You're right, I think, she had someone lined up and wanted to try him out.
> 
> She kept you hanging on as plan B.


I will have to agree, but really it makes me feel better to think there was someone else....now.
The thought of her just leaving without a reason would make me feel worse.


----------



## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

Canada75 said:


> I will have to agree, but really it makes me feel better to think there was someone else....now.
> The thought of her just leaving without a reason would make me feel worse.


I felt some relief oddly when i found out someone else, she had blamed me for it all and left me feeling guilty and confused and full of regret.

I still hate how it ended and how she treated me but it i what it is and i will survive and hopefully thrive.


----------



## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

@MovingForward good to see you are rebuilding in many healthy ways. Don't give your wife a reality check. Screw that, she gets nothing from you. Not you pain, not your joys, and damn sure not a reality check. Take what worked, take what you treasure take what you learned what works and does not. Expand your knowledge and be "this guy" 

This guy I knew had it all. Both he and exWS where mid-thirties, she was hot. His life was blown up. Meet a woman, cute/attractive a little over weight, a few years OLDER, with a child. Married, changed jobs, less money, smaller house, blended family. He treasures his wife, his blended family, his life. His ex, who the hell knows or cares.

You too Canada


----------



## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Oh I still know the guy but he is in another state. My brother sees him time to time. The divorce was 20 plus years ago. They have grandchildren and a great life. My SIL passed a comment; his wife could not understand how he could be so happy with a downgrade around 15 years ago. She was pissed he had replaced her with the downgrade!!!! LMAO!


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Trust me!
> 
> She might find herself in solitude at some quiet moment or another. It is then when she starts seriously thinking about what it was that she gave up, all for the new exciting piece of a$$ that she had found; when internally, she finds herself rueing the day that she ever elected to throw all of those dreams asunder, greatly in search of "perfection!"*


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Canada75 said:


> 17 years and a life time of memories erased by a stroke of a pen.


I WASTED a decade myself on my POSXW. Time I could of spent looking for and possibly finding a QUALITY woman.

Like being falsely incarcerated. Pisses me off sometimes... I take solace sometimes that it could of been MUCH worse.


----------

