# Shopaholic wife with big credit card debt.



## carlsmi88 (Apr 28, 2017)

It was just last week I realized that my wife is kind of a shopaholic. I knew she loved shopping, but never knew she shops too much. She uses her credit cards, 3 of them to do all the shopping, mostly clothes and cosmetics. 
How I knew about it was even worse. I am still paying for my education loan, so I wanted to make sure everything will be good for us to get mortgage approved for the new house we are looking. It was then, the mortgage lender mentioned about some problems with my wife’s credit score. I never thought of checking that myself before. After that only she told me about maximized limits on her all three credit cards.
I can’t believe she didn't tell me about it before. I would have understood her situation and would have tried to do something with it. But, now I am furious and confused about how to pay off all her credit card debts. Fortunately, I have a reasonable income and wife has a small job, but she doesn't earn a lot. 
Is it possible to reduce the amount payable if we try to do debt consolidation with her credit card debts? What all factors may ruin our chances of getting a consolidated debt approved? What’s our best way out of this situation?


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## Puny_T-Rex_Arms (Apr 20, 2017)

Tell her to knock off the shopping--_now_. It's hurting your future. Even Jimmy says so:


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

carlsmi88 said:


> It was just last week I realized that my wife is kind of a shopaholic. I knew she loved shopping, but never knew she shops too much. She uses her credit cards, 3 of them to do all the shopping, mostly clothes and cosmetics.
> How I knew about it was even worse. I am still paying for my education loan, so I wanted to make sure everything will be good for us to get mortgage approved for the new house we are looking. It was then, the mortgage lender mentioned about some problems with my wife’s credit score. I never thought of checking that myself before. After that only she told me about maximized limits on her all three credit cards.
> I can’t believe she didn't tell me about it before. I would have understood her situation and would have tried to do something with it. But, now I am furious and confused about how to pay off all her credit card debts. Fortunately, I have a reasonable income and wife has a small job, but she doesn't earn a lot.
> Is it possible to reduce the amount payable if we try to do debt consolidation with her credit card debts? What all factors may ruin our chances of getting a consolidated debt approved? What’s our best way out of this situation?


If you can cancel all of her cards and trust her to not get new ones then debt consolidation may be the way to go.Alternatively if you can arrange a personal loan,pay of the credit cards with it and then ensure you pay the loan every month the interest on the loan should be less than the credit card.You may need collateral or at least a a good credit score for this.If she refuses to cooperate then under no circumstances buy a house together,you could lose it after paying a mortgage for years.You don't say if you have children so suggesting she gets another job or does longer hours in the one she has could also help get the debt down.Think about a debit card which only allows her to spend whatever money is in the account associated with it.
Your biggest problem is that your wife's debts may fall back on you if she doesn't pay them and that will kill your credit score too.If she refuses to stop spending then you have a real problem my friend and you need to ensure you are not liable for her debts.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

First off, do NOT fix the debt without fixing the underlying issue. You consolidated, guess what happens? She runs up the bills again. It's a pretty big deal that your wife is spending money, you don't know about it, she didn't tell you, and you didn't realize it. Come on man, be more involved with your own life. 

The only way to fix this is wih a budget. If you consolidate, you need to cancel all the cards but 1 or 2 if there is an emergency. Then get a software program like Mint or whatever and make a budget. The budget is for both of you, so you both know these aren't constraints just on her. Stick to he budget or get divorced cause she lies and you will find yourself in a financial nightmare.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

carlsmi88 said:


> What’s our best way out of this situation?


Only one way out of this situation - cut the credit cards up into tiny pieces in front of her. Give her CASH each day/week/month depending on the severity of her problem. Get her to counseling - because reckless spending is certainly about underlying issues that often go back to childhood trauma. It fills a gap, makes a person feel momentarily loved. 

Then SHE needs to go to a financial advisor (in the UK there are many FREE charitable organisations that provide assistance and often communicate with the lender on behalf of the debtor).

SHE needs to go through this painful step because if you keep doing the work for her she will never learn. Tough love and all that. :frown2:

Edit to add: She needs to work out where the money was spent and sell most of the stuff on ebay/amazon. See if there are things she can return to the store (tags still on etc).


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## sincere2020 (Mar 25, 2020)

I think, that if you love somebody, even huge debt won't stop you. Are you agree?


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Zombie thread. This is from 2017


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Closing thread due to inactivity. 

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