# All Cried Out



## Onelonelywife (Jul 11, 2012)

My husband and I have been married for 3 years (together for 10yrs). We have three beautiful children together but the marriage is getting uglier by the day. I'm very lonely. My husband works a lot but when he has free time he finds excuses to hang out with his friends. I've suggested that we set a datenight but he told me that he couldn't committ to it because things may come up. Then he turned around and set a guys night out every Friday with his friends. You can't imagine the hurt. I often wonder why he chooses to stay with someone he doesn't want to be around. Anyway I've talked to him several time and he always finds a way to turn it around on me. I've always told him that I would never cheat on him, that I would leave. We don't talk anymore, the sex is passionless, we are barely in the same place at the same time. When he's home he talks on the phone all day and night (literally) with friends. If I didn't know any better I would say he's cheating but I have no proof. I don't really want to look for it I just want to be happy. I just want my children to be around a happy mom. I honestly think it's my fault for staying so long because I believed that he could or would change. We started our family so young but for some reason I thought we could beat the odds. I guess the jokes on me and now I have to figure a way out of this mess of a marriage. We are two people living separate lives in the same house and I'm exhausted. I'm in between jobs right now because I went back to school to finish my degree, which I did. I trying to figure out my next move. Should the kids and I leave or should I ask him to. Should I start planning to relocate out of the city. I just want a fresh start.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

I am guessing he has been like this for a while now. Have one last conversation with him and make sure he knows how serious you are. If things don't get any better, than make a plan about getting a job first...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Onelonelywife (Jul 11, 2012)

@Chiben,

Your right, it's been going on for years. I tried talking to him about again the other day. He just got this really important job so I'm trying to be sensitive to his feelings of pressure. (I feel so stupid saying that because he could care less about mine) 

I've already started job hunting and found more job opportunities in another city that's why I'm considering relocating. I would never knownly bring my children into an unstable situation. If anything I stayed in this marriage to provide stability. If I stay in my current city I may be out of a job longer, which may keep me here even longer.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

You arent the one bringing instability. I understand your worry about your children but they might better off with a happy mother then just miserable parents.
It is not easy and you dont have a quick solution. I hope he understands the misery he is putting you through.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Onelonelywife said:


> Should the kids and I leave or should I ask him to. Should I start planning to relocate out of the city. I just want a fresh start.


You and the children should not leave. You should ask him to leave. The children should not have to leave their family home because of his behavior. Think of them in your decision. When you give your H the ultimate, he should also consider the children and not expect them to leave their home.


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## Onelonelywife (Jul 11, 2012)

I finally mustarded up enough courage to bring up the topic of separation again. He claims that he doesnt want that and that we ( the kids and I ) are the best thing that has happened to him. I want to believe him but I have never been the type to hang on words. I believe seeing is believing, show me don't tell me. Anyway he says he's going through something but he didn't elaborate. He " came up with this brilliant idea" of a date night once a month. (you won't understand the joke unless you have read the original post.) I agreed but I'm bracing myself for the disappointment. Also the subject came up about who would leave if we separated and to no surprise he said that he wasn't going anywhere. I don't know how to take that. Does it mean he will fight for our marriage thus he plans on sticking around? Or does it mean the kids and I will be the ones leaving? I just left it alone for the sake of not arguing. I'm definitely going to prepare for the worst and work for the best.(hoping is not an option)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

I think he is implying that if you feel the marriage is so bad that you have to leave, that you should be the one to leave.

If I were you, I would not even consider leaving the house until you talk to an attorney.


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