# Hello. I'm a dad to girls. In dissolution.



## Girldad (Aug 25, 2020)

Hi everyone. I've been a long time reader of the forum. There is a great wealth of knowledge here so thanks! I'm recently separated and in the midst of dissolution. I love my girls with everything I have and am trying to make the best path forward for their success. 

The dissolution process has been a bit frustrating. I know our finances well and am trying to get through the process smoothly. There is a business involved which makes the process more difficult seemingly. Anyone else feel you should be able to sit down with your representation and your ex's and have this thing hammered out in a few hours?! It doesn't seem so that difficult. 

I'm living away from the family home and am doing ok. The past couple weeks have been a bit rough going back and forth between depression, sadness, feeling of loss and wanting to have someone loving in my life. It's tough for sure. 

I'm wondering how to meet new people and engage in meaningful conversation. Though I'm in my mid 30s, I've never really dated anyone as I've been with my soon to be ex for 15+ years. I'm a bit of an introvert and don't have a ton of close friends so this will be all new to me. Scary as hell and exciting at the same time. I'm really looking for friends at the moment and a potential relationship could come in sur6e time after much self reflection and love. 

I spend three days a week with my girls at my new home. They are adjusting well though it wasn't without some bumps in the road. They like their space in the new house and enjoy making the space their own. They're eating well and sleep is good minus the occasional overnight with their friends which is fun. 

Anywho. Any tips and advice for meeting new people is welcome. Any business owners out there who have gone through divorce, I'd love to hear any advice. 

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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I know you may feel like a loose wheel right now, but it sounds to me like things are going as well as can be expected. 

Don't get in a hurry to meet a woman here while you're at loose ends and vulnerable. 

Do you have some existing friends you can spend a little more time with? Or maybe a sibling you want to go visit. 

Active hobbies are probably the best way to meet friends because you can meet a lot of people but if you have no common interests you'll just go your separate ways. So if you have a hobby or sport maybe now is the time to get in a group or even maybe find people who share your hobby through the Meet-up app, especially if it's something a little more esoteric. 

There are groups you can join for jogging or any active thing as well as less active interest such as paranormal, craft beer tasting, stamp collecting. 

When the time comes that you want to try to meet women to date, you should just network with as many other single parents as possible. You can do play dates and take turns babysitting for each other sometimes. That's all after covid. I'm sure there are some zoom groups out there connecting via zoom rather than meeting in person. 

Just don't start getting panicky and get in a hurry about anyting. You're going to need some time to adjust and so are your girls. But you'll come out the other end okay.


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## misschris85 (Aug 22, 2020)

Man, you weren’t kidding when you said we had similar situations! 

Glad to hear that your girls are doing well. It does sound like you are adjusting as best you can 

I definitely hear you on the ups and downs of sadness. It sucks to have been with someone for so long (who you thought was the love of your life) and have it all come to an end. And yes, terrifying for all the new second firsts... dating, socializing as a single person, etc. 

Here to support you as well.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Don't rush, take it slowly. We'll be here for you.


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## Girldad (Aug 25, 2020)

Thanks for the input and suggestions. 

I started a fitness class recently to add to the jogging, biking and waking I've been doing on my own. Just to have other people around working on themselves is cool too see as well as a bit of camaraderie. 

I'm certainly going to take things slow in dating. I need to get past dissolution. Right I'm more looking for interesting people to share time with. I do have a decent support system with family and a couple close friends. I still struggle with lack of a physical connection which I'm sure is normal and will come in due time. 

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## PeteDavis (Feb 10, 2020)

Girldad said:


> Hi everyone. I've been a long time reader of the forum. There is a great wealth of knowledge here so thanks! I'm recently separated and in the midst of dissolution. I love my girls with everything I have and am trying to make the best path forward for their success.
> 
> The dissolution process has been a bit frustrating. I know our finances well and am trying to get through the process smoothly. There is a business involved which makes the process more difficult seemingly. Anyone else feel you should be able to sit down with your representation and your ex's and have this thing hammered out in a few hours?! It doesn't seem so that difficult.
> 
> ...


I have a friend who jumped into a relationship soon after his first wife ended it. I don’t know if this pertains to you but for some reason he could not be alone. He needed to take a break and clear his head. I’m older but these dating sites seem pretty cool. I kind of wish they were mainstream when I was younger


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

We owned a business together for 20 years. Trust me, you can't run a business with an ex, period. I got the business, I bought him out. If you have a partnership agreement, you may be able to use it but still 50% of everything is theirs. It's better to pay up front and not deal with them anymore. Did I pay more than I should, you bet but in my state he could of sued me for alimony and that was figured into the price of the business. Make sure you use a very good lawyer.


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