# HOW ON EARTH ROLE PLAYING WOKS???



## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Thats just it. I wanted to try it for long. Once i wore a nurse attire, but couldnt manage to "act" or anything.

Husband was "meh".

I tried reading articles, tried to find porn related to inspire me.

I still dont know how it works.

Just give me some idea and tips on how it done in real life.

I want to try with husband someday soon (actually i have wanted to try for years, but have no clue how ot works).


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You have to have a good imagination and be able to submerge yourself into the character.

Even if your husband has trouble with the concept, if you can do it, you should both still have some fun.

Costumes are just aids to the foundation which is linking your sexual animal to your imagined character.

You might be able to get some tips if you can find out how some good character actors submerge themselves in the role they are playing.

I advise working internally on it first, without costumes.

Pretend you are someone else in your head and that your husband is as well.

If you can do that successfully, during sex, you should experience some fun differences and maybe even more intensity occasionally.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Imagination! You need to both be in the scene. He's not helping with his 'meh'  

If you are wearing a nurse attire just pretend to be giving him a naughty checkup. Tease him though, don't give in to him, give into the act.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Well, yeah, imagination.

But i need to talk to him before? Like "hey, lets do this plot, i'll be said person and you will be said person?". Doesnt it lose spontaineity?

What are some good plots?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

moon7 said:


> Well, yeah, imagination.
> 
> But i need to talk to him before? Like "hey, lets do this plot, i'll be said person and you will be said person?". Doesnt it lose spontaineity?
> 
> What are some good plots?


What are some nono type stories or scenarios that make you tingle in the right places?

Getting it going in your head really is the first and most important step.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Spank him and stuff your thermometer up his butt the next time he says "Meh".


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Spank him and stuff your thermometer up his butt the next time he says "Meh".


Yeah, thats probably what i'll do next time he meh me.

I was such a people pleaser back then i though he sh!tted glitted, but as i reached my limit, he is not used to my "no bullsh!t" version 🤣


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

moon7 said:


> Well, yeah, imagination.
> 
> But i need to talk to him before? Like "hey, lets do this plot, i'll be said person and you will be said person?". Doesnt it lose spontaineity?
> 
> What are some good plots?


OMG NO! lol
Just act on the spot 

Start with naughty check up, something simple. With ex-wife a decade ago used to play superior officer 😅

You don't need props and stuff anyway with imagination. 
Like you can be spontaneous, for example I told a partner once there was a bug on her and not to move... she believed me, froze, and my hands went from there 😅


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

moon7 said:


> What are some good plots?


Easiest one is literally meeting up at the bar. Show up after him, "Hey there," then introduce yourself with a different name.

Roll with whatever happens, get tipsy, go do it in the car, or go to a hotel.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

moon7 said:


> Yeah, thats probably what i'll do next time he meh me.
> 
> I was such a people pleaser back then i though he *ted glitted, but as i reached my limit, he is not used to my "no *****" version 🤣


Hey you could always give him a lap dance! Get him into it and take the lead...drive him nuts!! Soany things to try, police officer,.post office worker, executive secretary...so many, just imagination is the limit!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

If you can act and STAY in character, your partner should be able to pick it up from there. I think what happens is people find it awkward then they laugh it away and never try again.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Try this, your husband is a level 2 chaotic neutral Warrior who has taken 3 hit points of damage from a sewer rat.

You find him clutching his wounded arm.

As a level 4 lawful good Cleric you use your best healing spell on him, but you roll a 1d20 and you get a 2, so it doesn’t work.

The only way you can think of to make him feel better is to use your womanly charms on him. You roll 2d6 and get a 10; so it works.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Just buy a wig.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> Try this, your husband is a level 2 chaotic neutral Warrior who has taken 3 hit points of damage from a sewer rat.
> 
> You find him clutching his wounded arm.
> 
> ...


Erm, wrong universe mate 😅


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It’s a good rehearsal to have a little fun on the phone first with it. After that the stage is set to play it out in bed…..or wherever


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

My wife and I love roll play, she still fits in her old school uniform and that is an instant lust inducer although I dread to think what that says about me 😳

My other favourite is the "wh0re look, short skirt, laddered stockings or fishnets.

Excuse me I am just going for a cold shower 🚿


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Kput said:


> My wife and I love roll play, she still fits in her old school uniform and that is an instant lust inducer although I dread to think what that says about me 😳
> 
> My other favourite is the "wh0re look, short skirt, laddered stockings or fishnets.
> 
> Excuse me I am just going for a cold shower 🚿


One reason I never complained about picking up a partner from her workplace was because she was already dressed up in heels and corporate attire


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Mr.Married said:


> It’s a good rehearsal to have a little fun on the phone first with it. After that the stage is set to play it out in bed…..or wherever


I sent pics in bikinis (looked kind of sexy, but was all normal stuff) and my husband got real embarassed and told me not to send it to him. I never managed to get him to sext or anything similar.

He is japanese descendent, just like his father and grandmother in the treatment of their own partners (at least its what looks like for me as an outsider): good and trustworthy, but zero on emotional levels (and in our casr, when i try sexy its like im hitting a wall).

I already tried some what people advised here this lastdecade, just naturally, not knowing roleplaying is only that, but didnt work 🤣🤣🤣

But i got some ideas here. Thank you all


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Try this, your husband is a level 2 chaotic neutral Warrior who has taken 3 hit points of damage from a sewer rat.
> 
> You find him clutching his wounded arm.
> 
> ...


Wrong D&D 😆


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

One way to maybe ease him into it would be to take an improv acting class together. I took one many many years ago, it was generally helpful.

The core tenet from the class is when your partner/fellow actor “gives you” something you take it, accept it, and then give something back. That keeps the scene going. Saying “no” or blowing off what you’re given destroys the scene. So no matter how insane or stupid it is, you accept it and then offer something in return.

So let’s say you’re playing a milk maid who went off to milk the cows only tragedy struck and you twisted your ankle. Now perhaps you have a prop which is a glass of milk. The tendency is for people to freeze up and go, “why is the milk in a glass?” or to try and reject what you’re offering. Instead an approach would be to acknowledge the situation, “Oh my, you seem to have twisted your ankle. I see you have some milk, where were you taking it?”

Try taking a class together.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

I think role playing works for some and may not work for others. Both my wife and I are rather sexual people but I know for sure it is not hers nor mine thing. We just cannot act, it would be weird and not enjoyable.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

moon7 said:


> Thats just it. I wanted to try it f byor long. Once i wore a nurse attire, but couldnt manage to "act" or anything.
> 
> Husband was "meh".
> 
> ...


Read through the rest of the thread. At first I thought you were having problems with RPG's. Then my thought was that you should try playing some RPG's, which would help you in learning how to move into that character mindset. But when you finally described your husband, I'm starting to think that maybe role play isn't his cup of tea.

What I recommend is that you look up play check list. You might used the term BDSM in the search, but keep in mind that BDSM is now an umbrella term that covers all kinks, including role play. I also have one that I use if you want to PM me for a link.

Print out two copies and then you and your husband fill them out. Indicate what you like, what sounds good and you're willing to try. Note what is a hard limit and what doesn't sound like you'd like it, but you would try it at least once for him. Write notes if there are details that the simple name of the play doesn't make obvious. Then compare lists and see what you have in common, and what the other likes or wants to try that you are willing to do.

Don't judge. Even if something he likes squicks you out, make it clear that is your repulsion and you don't love him any less for him liking it. Then discuss what things you might want to try together and when. In some cases you might want to seek out classes and learn to do the plays safely. There are lots of classes out there that don't require the students to be the ones who strip down, assuming that it is needed at all. I once taught a basics ropes class where the rope bunny (the demo model) was fully clothed in jeans and a t-shirt the whole time. But safety is important, for even with ropes you can cause some serious damage if you don't know what you are doing.

Good luck!


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Hmmmm....the times I have done it I can't really say it started out as a serious thing. It was more like having fun with a thought or joke that somehow ends up becoming a sexy role play game. With that said I don't know where you are from, but I think every culture has a holiday set aside for costume parties like halloween. For whatever reason when I come back home from a costume party I have always found it entertaining to be in character for a bit. Over the years costumes have been Jessica and Roger Rabbit (that was more fun than sexy). This year it was Joker and Harlequin, that was sexy and aggressive. I do think it's important to not take it too seriously, for me the cool thing is you can blame all the perverted things you do to one another on the character. Perhaps taking your hubby to a costume party would set the mood for an evening like this.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

maquiscat said:


> Read through the rest of the thread. At first I thought you were having problems with RPG's. Then my thought was that you should try playing some RPG's, which would help you in learning how to move into that character mindset. But when you finally described your husband, I'm starting to think that maybe role play isn't his cup of tea.
> 
> What I recommend is that you look up play check list. You might used the term BDSM in the search, but keep in mind that BDSM is now an umbrella term that covers all kinks, including role play. I also have one that I use if you want to PM me for a link.
> 
> ...


Thank you!!!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is why I like women with an imagination 😊



romantic_dreamer said:


> I think role playing works for some and may not work for others. Both my wife and I are rather sexual people but I know for sure it is not hers nor mine thing. We just cannot act, it would be weird and not enjoyable.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

ReformedHubby said:


> Hmmmm....the times I have done it I can't really say it started out as a serious thing. It was more like having fun with a thought or joke that somehow ends up becoming a sexy role play game. With that said I don't know where you are from, but I think every culture has a holiday set aside for costume parties like halloween. For whatever reason when I come back home from a costume party I have always found it entertaining to be in character for a bit. Over the years costumes have been Jessica and Roger Rabbit (that was more fun than sexy). This year it was Joker and Harlequin, that was sexy and aggressive. I do think it's important to not take it too seriously, for me the cool thing is you can blame all the perverted things you do to one another on the character. Perhaps taking your hubby to a costume party would set the mood for an evening like this.


I did some acting classes back in high school, wrote some stories. I can do my side, not perfectly as we never did it, but in theory yes. 

I think the advice about the list is a good one to easy the idea on him.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I'm not a fan of roleplay. It's just not my thing. If I want to bring a facet of my personality forward and have kinky sex then that's what I do. Since it doesn't seem like something your husband is interested in based on your comments then maybe don't role play at all. Maybe just be a different part of yourself.


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## Kput (3 mo ago)

I suppose there is a line where dressing up moves into role play we have done the dressing like a cheap wh0re in a hotel room which could be considered role play.

Whatever both feel comfortable or even better both are enthusiastic for is good


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> What I recommend is that you look up play check list. You might used the term BDSM in the search, but keep in mind that BDSM is now an umbrella term that covers all kinks, including role play. I also have one that I use if you want to PM me for a link.


BTW, my version is available to anyone who wants it. It's a Google doc, so just send me an email to send view and print permissions to. It can be a throwaway one.


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## umbluu (Jan 24, 2020)

Sorry if somebody has already said what I am going to say:

Think of the roles that you can play enthusiastically, that do not create mixed feelings in you one way or another (I could imagine some women may be upset about playing the role of somebody subordinate, or a h**ker, for example, and for some it may be the opposite).
Think what roles your husband, to the best of your knowledge, could play comfortably / enthusiastically. (Will playing a john make him uncomfortable? Does he hate Batman? etc)
Is there some overlap?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

moon7 said:


> Thats just it. I wanted to try it for long. Once i wore a nurse attire, but couldnt manage to "act" or anything.
> 
> Husband was "meh".
> 
> ...


Have not read the thread beyond this OP, but role playing for me just does not work. Can't get past the whole suspension of disbelief enough to make it work.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

I love dressing up for my husband!!! I have regular sexy outfits and role play ones as well, like nurse, maid and others. One thing I love to wear with a bedroom outfit are platform clear heels, they really amp up a sexy outfit! And they often stay on even if nothing else does!

So, I don't just throw on an outfit out of the blue and approach my husband while he's watching tv or something and say, hey look at me, you need me to check your temperature? No, no no...

My husband and I hang out for a bit, maybe have a drink together, listen to music, we will tease each other and build up sexual tension and excitement. As things get hot, I will talk dirty and ask naughty questions. If I'm wearing a sexy nurse outfit, for example, questions will be related to that. He will answer the questions and say things of his own to me.

Using the sexy nurse outfit as an example, we aren't role playing to the point where he needs to lie down in bed pretending to be sick and I stand over him checking his heart with a stethoscope. We're not acting in a play or a movie.

For us, a sexy outfit is just a playful element that's added to the good time we would have anyway.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

moon7 said:


> Yeah, thats probably what i'll do next time he meh me.
> 
> I was such a people pleaser back then i though he sh!tted glitted, but as i reached my limit, he is not used to my "no bullsh!t" version 🤣





moon7 said:


> I did some acting classes back in high school, wrote some stories. I can do my side, not perfectly as we never did it, but in theory yes.
> 
> I think the advice about the list is a good one to easy the idea on him.


My suggestion is that it should be consensual and a script and safe words agreed upon well before you start. Since your H sounds reluctant, a script will let him know what will happen ahead of time and a safe word(s) will allow him to slow or stop the action so he can regain his composure.

Use this as an opportunity to emotionally connect and communicate with each other. To learn more about each other. 

The Yes/No/Maybe list sounds like a great idea to share with you H so that the two of you will have some options to explore. Understand that he many not be into it in any fashion and if so, you need to accept it.

Good luck.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> Have not read the thread beyond this OP, but role playing for me just does not work. Can't get past the whole suspension of disbelief enough to make it work.


Besides, I am very much in the here and now with the wife, imagining we are other people, like the bar hookup scene, ehh...no, I do not even want to act like I am hooking up with some other random woman in a bar. To me it would feel like she is helping me to practice picking up strange women. 

Her just dressing in sex outfits Im good with.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)




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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Here ya go... @moon7


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Here ya go... @moon7
> View attachment 94412


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

BootsAndJeans said:


> Here ya go... @moon7
> View attachment 94412


That has to be one serious masochist!


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## Going Strong (1 mo ago)

I'm a terrible actor, and my wife doesn't always have the same imagination as I do, but we both enjoy it. What I do is send her an email or text in the morning, setting up the scenario, and ideas of how she might act, dress, etc. Sometimes I pick out and hide an outfit she should wear, hide it and leave a text telling her where to find it. This just gets us on the same page, and builds sexual tension throughout the day. We usually can't follow the script worth a damn, but we always laugh and have incredibly steamy sex during it. For us it's more about letting go of the normal and stepping out of character. A little alcohol helps! Just have fun


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

Zedd said:


> Easiest one is literally meeting up at the bar. Show up after him, "Hey there," then introduce yourself with a different name.
> 
> Roll with whatever happens, get tipsy, go do it in the car, or go to a hotel.


I was about to say this as well, Agree to go to the same bar have one arrive 10 minutes later than the other and see if he can pick you up. Use different names, careers and other stuff. Do not share any info ahead of time. If he is lucky enough to pick you up for a one night stand carry your new personas through the entire night. Just make stuff up as you go along. 

Try telling him your a sales person in town for a meeting and you work for a sex toy company. That should start a great conversation.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Always Learning said:


> I was about to say this as well, Agree to go to the same bar have one arrive 10 minutes later than the other and see if he can pick you up. Use different names, careers and other stuff. Do not share any info ahead of time. If he is lucky enough to pick you up for a one night stand carry your new personas through the entire night. Just make stuff up as you go along.
> 
> Try telling him your a sales person in town for a meeting and you work for a sex toy company. That should start a great conversation.


We did this some years ago. Left my wife a note before I left for work telling her where to meet me and what her fake name should be. I got a room at a hotel that had a lounge, arrived about 10 minutes before her. When she walked in, she sat at the bar about 3 or 4 seats down from me and ordered a drink. I told the bartender that the drink was on me and I moved next to her. Told her I was flying my plane across the country, had an engine problem and had to spend the night until repairs were done the next day. She was a wife who had an argument with her husband and was out to get away from him. Kept flirting back and forth and got tickled at the bartender trying to listen in. Finally told here that I had a picture of my plane in my room if she wanted to go see it. Pushed her against the wall and took her as soon as the hotel room door closed. Now that I think about it, we need to do that again. Maybe this time I can be a wine salesman and invite her to my room for samples.


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