# my husband of 18 years left



## brokenhearted1 (Apr 19, 2010)

I am so hurt and confused right now I do not know where else to turn to. My husband came home 2 weeks ago and told me his feelings have changed for me. I met him out of high school and have been with him ever since. We always lacked communication but I did not see this coming. I feel so lost and alone I have three children with him ages 14, 8, & 2 and I truly am broken hearted. He is not being a jerk about anything just the opposite, he takes full responsibility for this whole thing. What really hurts is HOW can he just turn off his feelings like that. He definitely had time to think this all through and he just threw this at me like a ton of bricks and expects me to just handle it. All I am doing is crying and I feel so alone. I am trying to be strong for my children but sometimes it is very hard. We own a business together which was also a very important part of my life and I have been taken out of that equation as well. I guess it would be difficult to work together now with the current situation it just feels like my whole world had been taken from me and I don't know how to cope. I have not even been able to tell anyone because I am so embarrased. I lost my dad a year ago so I do not have the heart to tell my family because they would be devastated. They are still trying to get over losing my dad so unexpectedly. Would love any feedback on how to handle this.


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## Hurtin' unit (Apr 13, 2010)

Wish I had some words of advice for you, but I don't really. Going through the same type of thing right now, my wife doesn't love me any more and doesn't want to try. So I have moved out, will be one week on thursday. All I can say is hang in there, it will be hard and you have to move forward bit by bit. When my wife told me, I said ok and just got on with things, but I would go back in an instant if I knew she would at least try, but she won't at the moment, so this is what I have to do. You just have to be strong for you and the kids right now and as things progress maybe he will realize that you were the best thing in his life, and want to get back together. Until then, just keep moving. Remember that it isn't your fault he feels differently, and you can't change how he feels. You should tell your family and friends, you need their support now, you don't need to protect them. Don't be embarrassed, why would you be? People change, and it is not your fault. Hang in there for now, you are not the only one even though it feels like it.


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

I am sorry to hear your story broken<3 . I am sure all of us here feel for you and your situation. Best thing I can tell you to do is first worry about your children. Regardless of what happens they are the most important and you and your husband should try your best not to burden them and fight in front of them. Next comes yourself. This is a difficult road filled with hurt , anger , and bitterness. If there isn't any reconciliation between you two , you will need to work to let go of this hurt. This takes time and you have to want better for you and your children. They will see exactly what you do and how you handle everything. So be the awesome mom you are.

As I said this road really bites big time. But we can't change how someone else feels. We can only see what happened , our part in it , and what we could of done better. And you might not have done anything wrong I am just saying. The only person you can change is you. Sorry your here.


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## brokenhearted1 (Apr 19, 2010)

thank you whoever responded. sorry you are here too.. :-( It it nice that I am able to talk to others about this there has never been a divorce in my family so I think that is why it is so difficult for me, this is not going to just affect me and my children it is going to affect alot of people. I come from a very big and very close Italian family who ADORE my husband. He came last night and when I asked if we could try and work it out he said he didn't want to, I know that is going to be everyones question, I just wish he didn't give up on us so fast, I know I would have fought for us :-( I promise I will be strong for my children I have to, they are my whole world right now. thanks for the support


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## danfig (Apr 7, 2010)

I am going through something similar. Here is a NYTimes article written by a woman who found herself going through the same thing that you are going through.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html?_r=1

It sure puts a different view on the situation. Maybe it will help you through what you are going through. It gave me some hope


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