# Anyone here practice shibari?



## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

I would love to get into this with my wife. The knots and ties can be beautiful. I suspect the actual act would also be very sensual and erotic. I'm not really sure where to begin. I have seen some beginner guides and obviously would need some quality rope. I'm curious if anyone here has any experience or suggestions.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Hi @mitchell

It took me a while to learn that asking people about shared fantasies and kinks is mostly frowned upon here at TAM. While you may think you have a problem, in reality you are likely looking for titillating encouragement and to engage in erotic discussions with people other than your spouse. 

Nonetheless I have also been fascinated with this topic as well, and in light of keeping this thread within the gray areas of being OK. 

I'll add this question... When it comes to approaching topics such as this, would it need to be handled with a higher level of communication even though you have a high level of trust with your spouse? I would imagine that a fantasy such as this would need to be clearly discussed ahead of time and certain things agreed upon. Or does that mess up the potential excitement of just being spontaneous and trying something new? My guess is something of this nature will require practice and patience from both spouses in order to have any chance of success. Other wise you will end up with this:










Badsanta


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

The act is definitely very sensual and erotic. I don't know where you live, but in most urban areas, the BDSM/kink scene is very active, and a big part of this is rope. Local clubs will likely have rope nights, demos, and classes. PM me, and I might be able to help you find something. Taking beginner classes with a rigging expert would be a good place to start, because then you have someone who can answer questions.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

mitchell said:


> I would love to get into this with my wife. The knots and ties can be beautiful. I suspect the actual act would also be very sensual and erotic. I'm not really sure where to begin. I have seen some beginner guides and obviously would need some quality rope. I'm curious if anyone here has any experience or suggestions.


Does your wife want to try it also? Isn't Shibari normally done as photographic (erotic) art? Is your wife cool with pictures being taken? All things to consider.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's knot in my repertoire, and as amazing as it looks, I wouldn't have the patience for it. We once met a guy who was an expert and taught the techniques (he gave a demo at a club), but had no interest in pursuing it.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

badsanta said:


> It took me a while to learn that asking people about shared fantasies and kinks is mostly frowned upon here at TAM. While you may think you have a problem, in reality you are likely looking for titillating encouragement and to engage in erotic discussions with people other than your spouse.


If this is the case, do NOT PM me.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

Shibari requires a practitioner who receives gratification from tying and recipient who enjoys the confinement of being tied. If your wife does not enjoy the loss of freedom and feel of confinement then she will not receive any gratification. You will be somewhat like a husband who wants to see his wife having sex with a woman when she clearly have no lesbian inclination. Clumsy attempt to tie without proper guidance will more likely then not turn your wife off to the whole deal as well.

You can bring this up with your wife but you need to assess:

a) how will you learn to do it right without involving another woman? Will your wife be comfortable with the knowledge that you practiced on another woman?

b) if you bring in another man into your marriage who can tie proficiently, will it encourage infidelity?

Just my two cents.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

KillerClown said:


> Shibari requires a practitioner who receives gratification from tying and recipient who enjoys the confinement of being tied. If your wife does not enjoy the loss of freedom and feel of confinement then she will not receive any gratification. You will be somewhat like a husband who wants to see his wife having sex with a woman when she clearly have no lesbian inclination. Clumsy attempt to tie without proper guidance will more likely then not turn your wife off to the whole deal as well.
> 
> You can bring this up with your wife but you need to assess:
> 
> ...


They don't need to introduce others into their dynamic. Assuming she is interested, they can go to classes together, and he can practice on her in the class. Doing it (learning and growing) together will only serve to strengthen their bond. Besides, she will likely need to ease into it as well, beginning with smaller, simpler ties, and then they progress together into more complicated ties and then into suspension.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

I'll be honest, I did not know what Shibari was till I opened this thread. Just BDSM, meh..........


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## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

FeministInPink said:


> The act is definitely very sensual and erotic. I don't know where you live, but in most urban areas, the BDSM/kink scene is very active, and a big part of this is rope. Local clubs will likely have rope nights, demos, and classes. PM me, and I might be able to help you find something. Taking beginner classes with a rigging expert would be a good place to start, because then you have someone who can answer questions.


Thank you for your helpful reply. We would not be comfortable going to a club or even a class. My wife does enjoy restraints and I have always been interested in the beauty of shibari. I think we could enjoy the exploration of some of the simpler beginner designs on our own with proper rope. It strikes me as a tender and erotic exploration.

I'm talking about starting with some simple wrist ties.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

mitchell said:


> Thank you for your helpful reply. We would not be comfortable going to a club or even a class. My wife does enjoy restraints and I have always been interested in the beauty of shibari. I think we could enjoy the exploration of some of the simpler beginner designs on our own with proper rope. It strikes me as a tender and erotic exploration.
> 
> I'm talking about starting with some simple wrist ties.


Wise choice


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

mitchell said:


> Thank you for your helpful reply. We would not be comfortable going to a club or even a class. My wife does enjoy restraints and I have always been interested in the beauty of shibari. I think we could enjoy the exploration of some of the simpler beginner designs on our own with proper rope. It strikes me as a tender and erotic exploration.
> 
> I'm talking about starting with some simple wrist ties.


You could, potentially, get private instruction. 

Or... OOOH!!! I just thought of this, there are instructional videos and beginner kits, with rope and stuff... and you definitely want to use the right kind of rope, and with a video, you'll be able to see how someone does it. I met a distributor at a club a little while back, and we were talking about production, and how the distribution works, etc. I have his card somewhere, you could email him and find out who carries the kits and oder one. (He doesn't do direct sales unless he's at a club or event.)

The thing I've noticed, when it comes to BDSM supplies/equipment (including rope/rigging supplies), regular sex shops generally sell pretty substandard stuff at a hefty markup. (I was looking for a crop, and I went to the local shop, and the ones that they had were $20+ and were mass-produced, bad quality, but I went to a club and there was a vendor set up there, and I got a really high quality crop for less than what the shop was charging.) Vendors (and stores) whose primary clientele are kinky people tend to have better stuff, and a better variety.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

FeministInPink said:


> The thing I've noticed, when it comes to BDSM supplies/equipment (including rope/rigging supplies), regular sex shops generally sell pretty substandard stuff at a hefty markup. (I was looking for a crop, and I went to the local shop, and the ones that they had were $20+ and were mass-produced, bad quality, but I went to a club and there was a vendor set up there, and I got a really high quality crop for less than what the shop was charging.) Vendors (and stores) whose primary clientele are kinky people tend to have better stuff, and a better variety.


OMG, I was at Home Depot not too long ago looking for some cabinetry supplies and I glanced at this rather attractive woman for just a moment. She was buying bundles and bundles of rope, while really seaming to pay close attention to how the rope felt. In her buggy was just rope, and out of my peripheral vision it looked to be about 200 feet of it.

Now I went on about my way wondering what kind of DIY project would use so much rope. I know for a fact that rope from Home Depot is not rated for use in climbing, so I just imagined her working on crafting some elaborate window treatments. 

Then I was shopping on Amazon and noticed that "shades of gray" kits come with almost the exact same type of rope. At that point I thought, well I do imagine most kinky people would probably just go shopping at Home Depot as the local novelty store is a joke!

Badsanta


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Then I was shopping on Amazon and noticed that "shades of gray" kits come with almost the exact same type of rope. At that point I thought, well I do imagine most kinky people would probably just go shopping at Home Depot as the local novelty store is a joke!
> 
> Badsanta


IDK, it is not unusual to see people at the Home Depot by me shopping with a gag ball and wearing as$less chaps, shopping for a dishwasher. That is nothing compared to what you see at Lowes ...


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

@badsanta and it's likely more reasonably priced, and available in longer lengths than in a local novelty shop. 10 meters sounds like a lot. It's not--you can hardly do anything with 10 meters!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

rockon said:


> I'll be honest, I did not know what Shibari was till I opened this thread. Just BDSM, meh..........


It can be done as BD, but not normally. It's done as erotic art, similar to body painting.
Hence normally the stuff a guy will end up hiring a professional woman to "sit" for him.


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