# I think separation is the next step.



## Cordie (Aug 23, 2015)

H and I have been together for 5 years, married for almost 4 years. A few mnths before we got married, I found a huge porn stash along with nude pictures of past lovers/girlfriends. I confronted him about it and he promised to delete everything and that it wouldn't happen again. (Back story, my first marriage ended partly because of porn addition) well, this has happened 4 times now. When I found another stash a year ago, I told him that if it happened again, I would leave. Three weeks ago I found another stash along wih pictues he pulled of Facebook of MY friends. We talked nd he said he felt like it was an addiction and that he needed to seek help. 
Three weeks in and he hadn't contacted anyone or done anything to make a change. Yesterday I found out that he is still looking at fb pics o my friends and then masterbaiting. Our kids and myself stayed with my parents latnight and he is acting like it is nothing, like I am just gonna get ver it and he will get to keep doing what he wants. I feel like this s it, I'm done. But should I keep trying for our kids sake? They are 3 and 1. I need advice!


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Nope. Leave now. You have set your boundary and he hasn't respected it. And while I am not anti porn, having pictures of an ex would be a deal breaker for me. And downloading pics of your friends is creepy. Leave now while your babies are still young.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Him downloading pictures of your friends is creepy. What kind of pics of your friends were they? If they were racy pics, how did he get racy pics of your friends?

How the is the rest of your marriage? Do the two of you do things together? Do you have a healthy sex life? Do the two of you work together well in supporting the family, doing house work, childcare, etc?


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## Cordie (Aug 23, 2015)

He works full time and I home with the kids babysit other kids. I do EVERYTHING around the house. Getting him to do anything is life teeth. He works full time out of the house, so I get that he tired, but he gets days off. It's very rare me. 
Our se life has been scant since the birth of our youngest. My sex drive just hasn't come back yet. He is always on his or computer. We rarely spend quality time together.


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Cordie said:


> Our sex life has been scant since the birth of our youngest.


Is he depriving you, are you depriving him, or is it mutual?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

What your H is doing sounds bizarre! he really needs help, but as with most addicts they will do nothing till the are about to lose everything. Your kids should not be around that, leave him and see what steps (if any) he takes.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

You might consider reading my post here that I just wrote for someone in a similar situation, with her discovering that her husband is addicted to porn:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/13489682-post31.html

I hope that helps!


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