# Pregnant and hubby relapsed



## texasteacher

Hubby is a "recovered" marijuana addict. Stopped smoking about 2 1/2 years ago. I was about to leave him for the drug use, but he stopped and started to go to AA. He has since stopped going to AA in the past 7 months. I was ok with that since he has been working 6 days a week, and 70+ hours a week. He has a beer every once in a while, but I did not like this. I said it would lead back, but he assured me it was ok. His problem was always pot, never alcohol, so I really didn't worry. I had told him that if he ever started smoking again, I would leave him. Well this morning, I went out to get breakfast for us, since we were out of a few items. I accidently dropped my garage door opener by driver side door, and found marijuana in a pill bottle. I am so upset, and don't know what to do. I am mad that he would start to do this again, and I feel like a fool because he admitted he had just started smoking again, and I did not notice. He is begging and pleading to come back, saying he does not want to lose his wife, his baby. He said he made a huge mistake and wants to do anything to make this situation right. I just don't know what to do. I am just numb, and really upset. If I allow him to come back, I am thinking about having him take drug tests, but I feel like the police, and shouldn't have to watch his every move.. What do you think?


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## Sparkles422

If you love yourself and him get yourself to Al-Anon. This will help you understand addiction and your emotional state.

Don't make any decisions at this point, you're too vulnerable and being pregnant heightens that intensely.

You are not a fool, you trusted the person you are married to. Perfectly normal feelings. You gave an ultimatum that you were unsure of carrying out so don't do anything now to confuse yourself further.

Try to relax and let some time go by (even a couple of days, this is not going anywhere) and then listen to your thoughts once they calm themselves, then decide what is in your best interest. What is best for you, not him.


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## CallaLily

If he is pot addict he should be in NA not AA, although I'm sure they follow the same guidelines. 

So now that he stopped going to AA maybe he can get into a NA program. 

You told him if he started it again you would leave him, stick to what you have said, pregnant or not.


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## trey69

Its up to you what you feel you need to do. Relapses do happen however, that shouldn't be used as an excuse for his behavior to keep on, nor yours to stay. 

You did say if he smoked again you would leave. The problem with that is, if you are not willing to back up what you said by leaving, then chances are, he wont take your seriously and will either keep smoking or he could relapse again. Yes that can happen to anyone at any time no matter if you stay or not. 

However, never throw out what you will or will not do and not be prepared for it if it were to happen again. Pregnant, or not he needs to prove himself to you. Pregnant or not, is also not a reason or excuse to stay. Weigh your options.


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## AgentD

If you feel like you're going to have to watch his every move for your own piece of mind, you might be in the wrong relationship. I understand WHY you would feel that way, however, that doesn't mean you should live your life feeling like you have to do that. Thats no way to live.


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