# Article: My Spouse Says He Forgives Me For The Affair, But He Still Seems Deeply Hurt



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

My Spouse Says He Forgives Me For The Affair, But He Still Seems Deeply Hurt

By: Katie Lersch: I sometimes hear from spouses who wish that their spouse, partner, or significant other had made progress toward healing after their affair. Although they know that the affair was all their fault and they have vowed to be patient and not to pressure their spouse, it can be a real challenge to be confronted with the pain and disappointment day after day.

To demonstrate what I’m talking about, I might hear a comment like: “I made a horrible mistake and I had an affair with my boss. It was a very short term affair and I told my husband about it the second I broke it off. I begged for his forgiveness. And I promised to do everything in my power to be the kind of wife who would one day make this up to him and to inspire his trust again. I believe that I have done that. For the last year, my entire mission in life was to be the kind of wife that my husband deserves. I left my job. The other man is entirely out of my life and I really want to put this behind us. Our marriage is relatively good, but I always feel like there is twinge of awkwardness and sadness between us now. It’s as if things might never be the same. I’m afraid that I’ve ruined things for good. Sometimes, when I look at my husband, I literally see a changed man. He’s not the confident and happy go lucky man that he used to be. It’s almost as if he occasionally has a haunted look in his eyes. He says that he forgives me and I can tell that he is really trying. But he still seems wounded and hurt. It hurts me to see him like this. When I see this look on my face, I almost find myself wanting to avoid him. It is like he is the walking wounded. Is this ever going to get better? Will he always be hurt by this for the rest of our lives?” (read the rest here)


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> He’s not the confident and happy go lucky man that he used to be.


Almost word-for-word what my wife said to me after her affair.


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