# I was understanding, he has not



## midupsndowns (Aug 16, 2014)

I've been married for almost 17 years. No its not perfect. But , I am a very sexual person. I love sex with my husband. But out of the blue, about a year ago he stopped being interested. Of course I assumed the worse, but payed attention before accusing.. Then I used to buy lingerie once to every three months. All I got was rejected, then when we tried he couldnt. Rise to the occasion. I was patient. But more and more it wouldnt work. But if he watched porn he could rise but as soon as I touched him . The rise would fall.
This , made me feel awful. I was honest. Yet not 100%.. I am faithful and was supportive. Yet inside I felt unattractive, un wanted.. we used to be so close even without sex we would stay up and talk and laugh. That dwindled. He was never home. I supposedly always new his whereabouts. Im not jealous and wont chase any man down. I mean he needed to come and at a decent time. Year of this and me feeling lonely, and in a flip, he hangs out but if I try to engage in conversation he gets annoyed. Now he can perform and I engage but with less enthusiasm. I know this, but he used to engage in non sexual touch, and wants me to touch him, everytime he touches me it nothing but about or trying get sexual. If I say not now kids are up or does it always have to be sexual, I told him I need basic contact. "HIS RESPONSE" YOULL SEE YOULL SEE "" YOU REGRET IT" WOW..... IM SO DEEPLY HURT .Plus my sex drive is not in tip top shape. I have Fibromyalgia, endometriosis and ovarian cysts. BUT THIS DOESNT STOP HIM FROM THROWING A FIT AND PUTTING ON THE GUILT, Me caving , cause a happy fulfilled husband is a faithful one. I guess...  anything?.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

midupsndowns said:


> "HIS RESPONSE" YOULL SEE YOULL SEE "" YOU REGRET IT" WOW..... IM SO DEEPLY HURT .


What does he mean when he says that you will regret it?

Why is he so angry at you?


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

I'm not sure I follow everything you posted... it feels like your writing get in half sentences and it's confusing to me. But, one thing stood out: you made the excuse that the kids are up. I hear that a lot and it has never made sense to me. I can't tell you how many times I walked in on my parents when I was going up. It didn't scar me or anything. I just figured it's normal for a Married couple to have sex often. Your hurt by him showing you that he desires you. I'm sure he is hurt by the fact that he keeps getting turned down by the one person he chose to be his sole sexual partner for life. 

Sit down and talk to him about sex. When and where you will be willing, so he isn't guessing all the time. And lighten up. Even if your kids walk in on you two going at it, it's not going to ruin them. 
Just don't teach them that sex is something to be hidden and denied, and to be ashamed of.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Something is certainly wrong.

I'd start with a very frank discussion with him about your feelings and go from there.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

his sudden change in sexuality might be him cheating with another woman, or if not that, erectile disfunction. If it is ED, then yeah, some men respond to that with hostility and depression. Like a little kid that can not reach the hoop with the basketball, but all his friends can. 

So, maybe cut him a little slack? If you are having so much trouble with PIV sex, maybe cut back the PIV frequency, but double the oral and anal frequency to keep him very happy. And DO a lot of foreplay with him, so maybe he will NOT need so much porn?

And you do know using the kids as an excuse is just a blatant cop-out on your part. Admit it.


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## 15and4 (Aug 19, 2014)

screw him. lady hes cheating on you. get a divorce lawer.i dont mean to sound like a jerk but he is cheating on you. if my wife was begging me for sex Ed or not we would be having sex. i know i have had ed before due to medicines. but he can pop a boner for porn and not you. its not ed its hes cheating and has used up his erection for the day, or hes saving it for porn or another woman.
sorry to hurt your feelings i really am. get a lawer soon as possible if nothing else it will call his bluff on that b.s. hes feeding you


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I'm going to speculate that he is probably addicted to porn. Excessive porn use will actually change the way the male brain gets arroused to the point where he needs the porn to get arroused and a real live woman does nothing for him. If this is the case. It's going to be a hard road ahead. He will not want to admit that he is in this deep or that it could effect him
In this way. Yourbrainonporn.com is an excellant resource

Good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fleet (Aug 26, 2014)

I agree about the porn. I watched the move Don Jon a few weeks ago, it dealt with the same issue


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

from a medical point of view, he might have Veinous Leakage...the ability to get hard, but the blood drains out quickly and it becomes Mr Floppy.

A few of those and he is going to shy away from sex.

But a pill like Viagra might help. 

And a c*ck ring ( a tiny tight rubber ring you slide down to the base of an erect penis) can help trap the blood in it for a 15 minute long ride to glory! Try the ring and see if it helps him. they sell them everywhere online, the type with the little built in handles to help pull it open are probably the best.


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