# Has Anyone Else Told Their In-laws Off ?



## Taurus94 (Dec 20, 2013)

Has anyone else told their In-laws off ?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

On more than one occasion and my wife had to confront her parents and sisters as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

More than once. Respectfully, but very firmly. They can be overbearing and quite insensitive and rude.

They're pretty good to us now though.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

After years of rudeness and disrespect from my POSMIL, i told her off and it was the best feeling in the world. She was a horrible, nasty, cruel, selfish person. Hated her. The day she died, I cried tears of happiness. :smile2:

My bad !!!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Not sure why this is in the Men's Clubhouse, but I'm a woman and I'm answering.

I have not told my former in-laws off and I'd never do that. I AM hurt by my former MIL completely dropping contact with me after my very last message to her, which was to tell her that her son abused me to the point of putting bruises on me. I guess mothers will defend their kids to the end, but I really did think she'd be on my side with that one since she's been vocal and sympathetic about her son's flaws. Aside from that, we had a really good relationship. I miss talking to her since she's so down to earth.

My MIL wears the pants in the family, and while I love my former FIL too, I miss the relationship with my former MIL more because we could really talk about anything.


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## Taurus94 (Dec 20, 2013)

It's in the Men Clubhouse because I'm running on almost zero sleep and I put it in the wrong forum.


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## Borntohang (Sep 4, 2014)

Yep! More than 20 years ago! Haven't spoken to them since...Neither has my wife!

Our son was born with disabilities. When asked why they haven't come to visit their grandson They told me "We wouldn't know how to act around someone like him"!!! (My innocent, blond haired little boy!)
I let em have it!
My son passed away 3 years ago at age 22. They never saw him. Nor my have they ever seen my other son! Their loss!


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

Oh yes. I refuse to be spoken to the way my partners dad speaks to me and any female friend I have over when he is there. Or to my children. He is one of the rudest people I have ever met so from the moment I met him I have been putting him in his place. He tries to get my partner to stand up to me for him but my partner tells him he is on his own. I did get fair warning before I met him though


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I have been very very very tempted since both my IL's are self-absorbed people who seems to be clueless as how to carry on a healthy family dynamic. And my MIL is just plain Batsh#t crazy.

But my wife has enough to deal with on her own with them and doesn't need me to make things worse or more complicated for her by me having a blowout with them. 

If she needs backup I'm there but otherwise, I just try to avoid making things worse. 

I have a very thick skin when dealing with people I don't respect but the potential is still there because I have to draw the line at my son.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Nope. My in-laws are awesome. They're divorced and completely different personalities, but they're each fun to hang with.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Yep. A couple of times. Each time was very much deserved. Some people wonder why I was so easy on them.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Fortunately my In-Laws live about 3 1/2 hrs away so I rarely see them. They are great people, but I don't know if I would be able to deal with having to see them frequently since I could see them wanting to be around us constantly (my wife and I value alone time). 

The only time I had an issue with my MIL, whenever my wife went into labor they drove up. With the 2nd and 3rd kids my MIL basically disregarded our kids, so it became my Mom/Dad/Sister's responsibility to watch our kids while my wife was in labor. For our 2nd and 3rd kid my parents were not at the hospital when they were born b/c they had to watch our kids. It wasn't even as if we let my MIL be involved during labor, she just sat in the waiting room the entire time. After our 3rd child was born I deliberately delayed letting anyone into the room to see our daughter which I know pissed off my MIL based on the text messages 

That day I had been at the hospital with my wife since 5am, and I didn't get home until 9pm. You would think logically, knowing I need to get up at 3am for work the next day, my MIL would help out getting the kids to bed when we got home. Nope, all she was interested in doing was going out to dinner lol.


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

Absolutely ! Once , in a very loud and rude way too. ! I had to tell my MIL (X now ) to stop letting my child 2yr old play with matches !

I told her if she ever wanted to see her grandchild again to STOP ! 

I even got an apology the next day. and it never happened again


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Nope. My In-Laws have treated my daughter just like biological family from the first day they met her and this was before I married their daughter.


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## QuietSoul (Feb 11, 2012)

Hahaha oh my gosh. This is the theme of my marriage right now.

I have been married eight years and have done well to keep my mouth shut. There were a few times I faltered under EXTREME AND PROLONGED pressure. Sometimes it was passive aggressive, coming out the sides. And sometimes more direct.

My husband's mum God love her is well meaning but can be extremely neurotic and controlling. She means well and i do believe she has a good heart, she is not mean spirited (that i have seen anyway) but there are times where she can not seem to help herself...

Since I had a baby in September (my first), she has been quite intense. In our first week at home, she visited, and approached me while i was breastfeeding. She asked how he was doing, i said he is great, except he had been fussy in his feeding that day, and she placed her hand on his head (he is on my breast!) and said "oh don't you listen to your mummy! She doesn't know what she's talking about! You're fine just the way you are"

...and that was the beginning of everything. I think before that, it was just me in my own feelings but I am an adult and if someone is a boundary pusher I can kind of deal with it. But now with a baby, it feels like things are much harder to contain and she is the most intense i have ever encountered her.

I put her in her place about six weeks ago in a way that I have never done before. I had made the mistake of telling her that his weight is a bit low and he is fussing on some of his feeds, and ever since i told her, she has been in my face about it constantly, and wanting to be the one to feed him. 

A few weeks after we told her (it was early/mid Jan), we met up at a place for lunch and she did her thing. "Is he due for a feed? When was his last feed? He looks hungry, is he hungry? Oh look, now he's sleeping, that means he's hungry. Where's the formula? Did the waitress forget about the hot water? I'll go and remind her"

I wanted to kill her but i held off. So anyway, hot water arrives, milk is warmed up, and she wants to feed him, so i move seats so she can be near the pram to feed him (because he is use to being flat or in his pram and doesn't like to be held when feeding). But she picked him up and darted the teat into his face and of course he began fussing, and this went on for minutes, he was screaming, I was asking her to put him in the pram because he doesn't like to be held when being fed, but i can't tell her anything because she says "well i've raised three children darling I think i know what i'm doing". Then she was talking to bub and saying things about H and me like "your daddy's stressed isn't he. that's not good for you is it". Then she kept shakign the bottle upside down, i swear she did it about 50 times. She thoguht it was blocked and i said it wasn't but she kept shaking milk all over our table where we were eating. Then I said "it's fine" more firmly and she looked at me and smiled and shook it while smiling at me and i murdered her wiht my eyes. Bub was still screaming and i ended up getting up without warning, taking him from her grip and going for a walk. I was so angry and i was shaking and just tried to get some fresh air and calm down and comfort bub.

After that we went up the road to a cake place for dessert and coffee and H went inside to check they had a table for us, and she came up to bub in my arms and started touching and talking to him and i drew away from her. I would never do that but i was so angry and i could not contain it anymore. Then she came up to me to "apolgoise" but it's never an apology, it's just her way of trying to prove her point. And that's when I lost my sh*t at her. I told her she was pushy, that she doesn't listen, that we have to say something 10 or 20 times and even then she doesn't listen and doesn't care what we say or ask her to do, and that she is really aggressive and manipulative.

She looked at me all hurt but i knew her better, she can be quite guilt trippy and i wasn't having it. Or, to be fair, she probably was hurt, but it wasn't my problem by then. 

I thought H was going to lose his sh*t at me later but he said he was supportive of what i said and that was the biggest surprise really because it's always been such a point of tension with us.

We have seen her once since, and next month are due to go on a 2 night holiday with her and H's sister's family, and I am dreading it with everything within me...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I had some things to say to my former MIL but i didn't. 

When her son and i divorced I sent her a very nice letter telling her she was a great grandmother, was always welcome, and that i was sorry our marriage hadn't worked out.

I also included pictures of my boys. 

Nowhere did I tell her that her son was a nasty pr!ck, even though he was. I did not ask her to take sides nor did I ask anything else of her.

She ignored it because I'd divorced her baby. I was the second one to divorce him but still her baby can do no wrong. 

My ex had the stones to ask me to send them pictures after that and I laughed, told him to get his own and send them. She wants to be a b!tch? Fine, don't ask me for favors.

She wouldn't even send my son a birthday card since he was with me. .... she had zero contact with her grandkids unless my ex brought them around. 

Which he didn't very much because the military moved him so he didn't see them much. And when he doesn't have then he really doesn't call.

One day they were visiting ex in laws during the summer; one of my kids is a summer baby and the other is a late fall baby. She gave birthday presents to both and told the older one she wouldn't have access to him on his birthday. 

Lie. She chooses not to, and I honestly have no idea why because I've never been anything but welcoming to her. 

Son told me about that (he was about 7 at the time) and I told him that was a lie. Told him that she doesn't like me and thus won't contact them while they're with me, but that she loved him and it had nothing to do with him. He said he'd wondered why she couldn't just mail something. 

He knew she was lying. He's a smart guy.... i never bad mouthed them but I'm not going to be silent while she lies and implies that it's my fault. 

She lost out on a lot with my kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

peacem said:


> I have a MIL and SIL double act from hell. But I have always tried to ignore their behaviour and preferred a more passive aggressive approach which is to make myself unavailable to their drama. For certain personality types being ignored disarms their negativity.
> 
> Ignore it where you can, when in laws start to try and come between you or put your children at risk you need to step in and speak up.


This reminds me of the one and only time in our relationship that my MIL actually blew up at me. We were at a family get together which a large number of people. I parked on the street like everyone else and she came and started screaming at me because she didn't like me parking in this particular spot for some reason. As she screamed at me, I had no expression, I slowly looked at her so she knew I heard her and then went about my business without saying a word, as if she didn't exist. 

To this day I think she thinks I'm a psycho, but she has never screamed at me again which is remarkable since it is her default means of communication when dealing with most people.


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## thebard77 (May 24, 2015)

Yup. With my first marriage  And no, it wasn't the cause of the breakup. My first mother in law was an incessant busy body. She would gossip about everyone and everything. At the time I was initially getting sober for the first time and she decided it would be a good idea to follow me to the doctor's office. I went in and all of a sudden she walked in with the doctor. She told him that I wanted her there tooo... My friggen mother in law. She started telling him all of the things that I was doing which "she didn't agree with." We had it out on the way home. The marriage was doomed to failure from the beginning. I damaged it due to alcoholism and prescription pill addiction and my exwife had emotional challenges stemming from childhood abuse that was never addressed emotionally or psychologically.


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## Lynne28 (Feb 17, 2016)

I told off my egotistical, conservative, pompous FIL. He hates me for being an atheist, HS dropout that found a career without a degree where I make good money. He's hated me since day one because I speak my mind and won't let him demean me like he does his kids. 
He got angry that my MIL (they're divorced) was the one that sent out a mass email asking his family for their addresses for our wedding invitations. He said he felt like he was being excluded and that it wasn't polite for us not to contact the family. I gave my MIL and SIL the duty of wedding invites.
He was also mad we were getting married at my MIL house and not a church.
Since he felt excluded, I asked if he'd like to host the rehearsal at his house and he declined. 
A month after the "RSVP by" date and still no RSVP from my future FIL. My H messaged him asking if he'd be attending and he responded with "I'll think about it". Once I got wind of his response, I let him have it telling Him I know he doesn't like me and I don't like him either but it's time to get over it, because his son asked me to marry him. That it's ridiculous that he "has to think" about attending his first born child's wedding. And that whether or not he showed, there will still be a wedding. Best decision I ever made. He showed up for the wedding and gave me his blessings and has treated me like a human being ever since! ?


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