# Children in next room inhibiting sex life



## Malky1954

Apologies if there are already threads on this subject.

Our eldest is now 11 and her bedtime and sleep time are getting later. Quite often she is still awake (reading) when W and I go to bed. Her bedroom is next to ours.

This is seriously inhibiting our sex life. We have tried to have 'quiet sex' when we think she is asleep but even the creaking of the bed and the occasional moan of pleasure are audible through the walls. To make things worse we used to have quite noisy sex (I won't go into to detail - but use your imagination).

Unfortunately we have no family nearby to whom we could send the kids for the occasional weekend away from home. In any case, we used to have sex three or four times a week - my W is quite highly sexed.

What do others do?


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## Looking4Solution

Sex in the bedroom doesn't always have to be in the bed. 

Do it standing up, put a quilt on the floor etc. For moans my wife used to grab a pillow and stuff her face in it when we had sex.


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## RandomDude

Oh I can't wait! My kid is going to end up rescuing me from "mum's tickling"!!! Come on, a few more years... can't come sooner!!!


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## Enchantment

I would first look into whether you can arrange the furniture differently. Ensure that the wall that is shared does not have either your bed or her bed along it. Try and separate them as far as physically possible. If there are wood floors, get an area rug and lots of pillows for her bed - anything upholstered will absorb noise.

Next - white noise. Get fans, air purifiers, or white noise machines for both rooms and have them running at night (we got our kids air purifiers that are pretty noisy and it was easy to tell them we just wanted them to sleep in rooms that had better air). 

If your daughter is in to music, she could also be listening to that (maybe with some headphones you get for her) while she is doing her reading. You could also have music playing in your room when you are getting to business.

Lastly, if the bed creaks, there's no reason you have to be on the bed.  Floors (especially in the closet where noise is muffled by all the clothes) or chairs (bring in one from the kitchen) are really great venues too.


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## magnoliagal

My kids all sleep with loud fans. I've done that since birth just so noises wouldn't wake them up.


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## Runs like Dog

Sell your kids. They'll get over it.


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## Lon

I never once in my entire life ever heard my parents having sex... now there may be one or two times when mom said dad was tickling her, but for all I still know that's all he would ever do. Also any time there was a birds and bees talk I go the dumbed down versions, was never allowed to participate in sex ed. Sex was never explained or demonstrated... We always had family night once a week: pizza and a movie every friday, when my brother and I were old enough to see pg-13 and there was a sex scene it quickly got fast forwarded, all we ever saw was bunny speed and my parents, mostly mom would be real ashamed and dad would sometimes make jokes.

So it basically made me feel shameful, sinful and guilty to think of sex, girls, dating, masterbating, etc etc. It affects my sex life now and thus everything about me. I always found some guilty pleasure if I'd stumble upon some stash of porn, or late night tv. Part of the thrill of sex comes from keeping things secret, it was a big part of the problem with my failed marriage.

Let your kids hear you having pleasure, the noise may concern them at first but they will get used to it, eventually they will come to understand what it is but I say your chance of scarring them is worse if they think you are both abstinent.


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## SimplyAmorous

Malky1954 said:


> Our eldest is now 11 and her bedtime and sleep time are getting later. Quite often she is still awake (reading) when W and I go to bed. Her bedroom is next to ours.
> 
> This is seriously inhibiting our sex life. We have tried to have 'quiet sex' when we think she is asleep but even the creaking of the bed and the occasional moan of pleasure are audible through the walls. To make things worse we used to have quite noisy sex (I won't go into to detail - but use your imagination).
> 
> Unfortunately we have no family nearby to whom we could send the kids for the occasional weekend away from home. In any case, we used to have sex three or four times a week - my W is quite highly sexed.
> 
> What do others do?


Do you have a basement with a locked door you could sneak down?

Doesn't she have girlfriends where she can *spend nights *over their house -this would give you ALL NIGHT LONG TO LIVE IT UP, get wild , scream in pleasure ! Let her do that at least once a week . Me & my girlfrinds used to live at each other's houses growing up. Weekdays, weekends, made no difference, we would get on the bus together. 

Can you go at it when she is at a friends house- maybe before she comes home ?? Gotta grab the time when the house is empty, every opportunity!

Maybe get her to stay down stairs let the TV running on some nights.

Let her have some pajama parties with girlfriends and let them use the living room all night long with the TV going, this would be like having your own little sex vacation -so long as you have a locked door.

Personally, I used to hear my dad & step MOm bouncing the bed my whole teenage yrs. It was an awkward thought for sure, but it is not like it is going to damage a teen. I would think more damage would be done to see parents fight all day & live a silent treatment existence before the kids. 


Where there is a will, there is a way. Even in the summer, if you have to pitch a tent outside , do it !


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## Soupnutz

Lon said:


> Let your kids hear you having pleasure, the noise may concern them at first but they will get used to it, eventually they will come to understand what it is but I say your chance of scarring them is worse if they think you are both abstinent.


I agree. We put a big sponge behind the headboard to keep it from beating against the wall, but as far as our noises, I don't care if the kids hear. Mine are 8, 6, and 3. If you havent had the talk with your 11 year old, you need to. I guarantee friends at school have, you should make sure they have the right info. They should also know that's part of a healthy adult relationship. My 8 yo has an idea of it, me and the wife gave each other a kiss and she says , "Ohhhh, you and mommy are having sex". We tried to talk to her about it, but she wasn't ready, got embarassed. We'll try again before too long, I don't want her to have to wait until they teach it in school and in the meantime whatever misinformation 2nd graders spread about it.


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## Runs like Dog

Mom, why did you guys get a motorhome and we never go anywhere?


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## [email protected]

Well that was interesting.

Ours are 8 and 7, and it is impossible to hide. Small place, with useless walls and floors insofar as noise blockage. And we're loud. We let them know in a light-hearted way that they need to go busy themselves with something. We sleep in the same bed, we have sex daily, but usually before they come up to bed. Never in front of them but they know and make jokes about it. 

The older one is extremely intelligent and very sensitive. He doesn't like it so much but it is his responsibility to go outside or put on Grand Theft Auto and make mayhem. The younger one, Geez he has been brazen about looking in. 

Sex is part of marriage.


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## Mr.Married

Note: Thread date....2011


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## MattMatt




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