# He doesnt want me around when he's in a bad mood....



## Truly Unloved (Jan 20, 2010)

We're going to be married and he's been doing this for awhile... having me go off when he's in a bad mood.. I don't really like it because it makes me wonder if I'm going to have to go home when we're married just so he can have space during a bad mood.

What do you think?


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Nothing just automatically resolves itself after marriage, so you are right to be so concerned. Think about how this makes you feel and also think about any other behaviors that make you feel badly. The last thing you want to do is ignore it and think it will magically go away or will get better after marriage. It won't.


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## Dean M. (Jul 4, 2010)

Men want to be alone when we're angry (in general). That's normal. There could be a lot of practical reasons for your guy does that. Maybe he has anger issues and he doesn't want you to see him at his worst. Maybe he's just worried he might say something that he doesn't mean and would hurt your feelings. Maybe he just wants to think the issue through and he can't do that unless he's alone.

Have you asked him why he wants to be alone when he's angry? He may not even know why he does it. 

Regardless, its something that should be addressed before you take your vows. If you can't work it through now, you probably won't afterward.


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

If he does not change now and prove he can maintain the change he will be worse once he is married, a *lot worse*.

Do not step into the marriage unless you fully understand how your life will be with his behaviour.

He is in a relationship with you, should be thinking of you, we all go though bad moods but we all need to deal with it. 

It must not in any way impact you or your relationship. If it does..


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

My boyfriend prefers to be alone when he's in a bad mood. His response is usually to go in the bedroom or for a drive or something. It's not that he doesn't love me or care about me; in fact, it's quite the opposite. He knows that when he's in a bad mood, he might snap at me or the kids, and he doesn't want to do that, especially when it's not our fault that he's in that mood. So, he separates himself from us so that he doesn't say something hurtful to us. 

The fact that he makes you go away is what concerns me. My boyfriend tends to remove himself. It also doesn't take him long to get over the mood. How long does he take when he sends you away? And have you asked him what he intends to do once you are married? I mean, once you're married, you won't have a "home" to go away to, since you'll be living together. And he can't realistically expect you to leave your own home every time he's in a bad mood...and you better not even think that it's acceptable for him to expect that. 

My boyfriend not wanting to be around me does not bother me. Having been in an abusive relationship before, I would prefer it, since otherwise it brings up bad memories. But...it bothers you, and you should trust that feeling. Talk to him and figure out why he does this. Take things from there.


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## wilie (Aug 3, 2010)

I myself ask for this. My thinking is, i KNOW i have a bad temper at times, so i can detect when i am feeling angry so what i want is to NOT damage my wifes feelings with some stupid rant that i really do not mean, which is why i want the alone time to calm down and put whatever it is into perspective, and to really have time to think about the issue that is making me angry. IT HELPS me.. I would say do not be bothered by this, and understand that he could just be asking for some time to help himself get over his anger.

Willie


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