# Newbie



## TooTrusting? (Feb 21, 2018)

Hey guys ~ so glad I found y’all!! Ok, here’s my issue: My husband and I have been together almost 15 years. It’s been good so far, however, sex has dropped off significantly the past couple years. I’ve talked to him about it...cuz I want to do it, but he doesn’t. He says it’s not me, it’s just that he’s not interested anymore and just doesn’t even think about it. That’s BS cuz he watches porn and/or reads craigslist personals...so I know he thinks about it! Our relationship is great other than no sex, I’m lucky if we do it once every six months. Lately I’ve been worrying because he’s been on his cell phone a lot more than usual and he always has it with him. He used to never keep it with him. I am very trusting and was never one to pry through his phone. Well now I have a gut feeling so I checked his phone one time and saw that he had an account on match.com and I also saw a deleted message that he sent to a lady on craigslist looking for a married person to cheat with, cuz she was married and not happy. All I could see was the first sentence of his response stating “I’m in the same boat.” Well of course that’s all I saw and I don’t know if she ever replied. I’m worried that he’s going to hook up with someone if he hasn’t already. He did tell me a few times that we should bring a second woman into our bedroom and was sure to tell me that that was “for me” and not him to spice things up. I never have requested that!!! Also, He hates when women check spouses phones, So it’s difficult for me to dig anymore than I already have without getting busted, and he deletes everything! What do you guys think I should do?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

A lot of red flags. I would say your H is getting sex from somewhere else and or self satisfying. Time to quietly gather evidence before confronting.


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