# Can someone please ban me?



## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

I am grateful for the opinions and advice given on this site but it has served its purpose and it would be healthier for me to break away from it.

I seem to relive my DDay over and over again when I read new threads of infidelity. TAM has become a trigger.

Can someone please ban me because I cannot delete my account. Taking a break doesnt help as I return shortly afterwards.


----------



## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

It won't matter if you are banned. You can still read threads as a "guest".


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

They can bad his computer altogether (IPN address?) so he can't even come in to read threads.


----------



## Coach8 (Jun 17, 2013)

No offense, but why not just stay out of the CWI section? I am sorry that you are having to deal with this, but is it that hard to just not click on something that looks likely to trigger you.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hibiscus said:


> I am grateful for the opinions and advice given on this site but it has served its purpose and it would be healthier for me to break away from it.
> 
> I seem to relive my DDay over and over again when I read new threads of infidelity. TAM has become a trigger.
> 
> Can someone please ban me because I cannot delete my account. Taking a break doesnt help as I return shortly afterwards.


Dear lady. Maybe your fella can help you stay away or maybe you could get some mild IC to help you stay away.
You must know well that even without an account, if you are creating addictive behavior with TAM, that you will still read and trigger.
Pull your sword, so to speak, and kill your monster! Do what needs done to destroy barriers to your fulfillment!
Your SO cheated and is remorseful. You have decided to R. He has a lot of work to do and so do you.

Marriage is still 2 people putting their all into something greater than themselves individually. Start totally investing and aggressively doing your part or your marriage will be weak or fail.
Get help to stop your addiction to TAM. If this site causes trouble for your fulfillment in marriage, then it is time to look at yourself and realize that you have a problem that could harm your marriage, not just your SO. 
Get the help you need to stop torturing yourself with this site. It actually is not TAM, but something inside you, that is causing you pain.
Now go do what you have to and post in 10 years on the long term success in marriage forum! 
Best wishes and love and hope!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

Well I am still healing from infidelity so yes there is still pain in me. But it is easing as time goes by. 

I know what I have to do. I just want someone to ban me then I wont have the desire to post on here any longer.

Nevermind. it was a silly request. I will stop coming here period.


----------



## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

Hibiscus do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

I just wanted to let you know your post have helped me, thank you


----------



## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Hibiscus,
I do understand what you are going through. I feel the same way its so hard to read these stories and not relive some of what has happened in my life. But it also helps me. It helps to comment on these things and help other people. I kept my pain bottled up for the last 6 years and I can tell you It did me no good to deal with it that way. I am not saying that is what you are doing or should do I am just saying I am trying to a different approach of handling and dealing with this trauma in my life and that is through trying to help others and confront my own pain. 

If you leave I truly wish you the best and hope you passed this. 

Clay


----------



## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Funny, I find the exact opposite now.
When I first hit this life, TAM was a lifeline, then traveling through , I too, had to turn away, as the stories of all us poor lonely broken souls were the same, except the details differ.

It ate me alive. Triggers each time. I would want to vomit, and lash out at all the man or women that resembled the fvcking actions of my ww huband. It kept me angry, hating every cheater out there, and hoping their fate would be met as the famous painting of the Sistine shows in the last-judgement day, the serpents taking the sinner by every open body cavity known to man. 

The stories of TAM made me angry, a mean person, and kept me this way. I had to stop reading, and reading I did. 

I sorta, thinking and looking back, stopped"banned" myself from it all. I just grew tired of the drama.

But, time forward, I've just returned to TAM recently, and I'm of completely different mindset than when I first jumped on here,& would never ever, believed when other who came before me told me I would get through this,that things will change, be different, I would see things differently, and would learn things differently. I do,and I'm back here, now on TAM. 

I'm ever so grateful for the men & women who offer there help.
I've learned a lot from them, & that goes for you too,hibiscus, so if you were banned, I'ld miss you ! 

~ sammy

I found this link deep inside someone's thread the other day. To me its is so worth reading , to others, maybe not. I'm returning to ic & mc w my hubs after close to a 3 yr separation to see if this marriage can be saved. There is so much more than meets the eye that the bs goes thur, and I think, if that really can be addressed to the ww, then,at least the bs has a chance to heal, and then,maybe,there a change to save the marriage. But, if the bs isnt happy, happy within themselves after all of this hurt, then nobody's happy. ((imho))

Link below:

Infidelity causes severe trauma, but it's not your fault


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Hope your future is better and that the pain will ease.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

You need to do the 180 on TAM. File for D from TAM. Kick TAM to the curb.


----------



## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

MrK said:


> They can bad his computer altogether (IPN address?) so he can't even come in to read threads.


There are tons of ways around this. 

OP just insult a WW. That'll get you banned


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Let me give it a shot...

hisbiscus, you're banned.


----------



## onestepatatime (Oct 23, 2013)

There does come a time where these boards can hinder the healing process. By that, I mean particular posters who seem to want to keep the drama going. The majority are fantastic, but there comes a time where you need to put it all behind you and walk away when it has served it's purpose.


----------



## hasekmpp (Oct 31, 2013)

I just want someone to ban me then I wont have the desire to post on here any longer.


----------



## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Many routers have the ability to block certain websites. If you can log into your router, you may be able to add TAM to the blocked sites and you won't be able to access it anymore.


----------



## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Well I am still healing from infidelity so yes there is still pain in me. But it is easing as time goes by.
> 
> I know what I have to do. I just want someone to ban me then I wont have the desire to post on here any longer.
> 
> Nevermind. it was a silly request. I will stop coming here period.


Yep. Just quit coming to TAM period. Delete the mobile app from your mobile devices. Clear your history and delete any bookmarks on any computers. Then take it a day at a time and reward yourself when you manage to stay away one day, two days, three days, a week, a month. Find other things to occupy your time and require your focus. And soon you will not even notice it is no longer part of your life. 
And if you just can't seem to stop, some counseling might be worthwhile. 
Good luck as you move forward.


----------



## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

If you REALLY want to just leave with the cleanest break possible, why don't you just PRIVATELY email a mod or use the 'Contact us' link to request account deletion or whatever.

I've noticed on this and other forums that public announcements of leaving the forum create a lot of attention, pleas to stay, "we don't want you to go", etc. And in the end, these kind of posts don't accomplish what you say you are trying to accomplish (unless it is attention seeking). In fact the result is the opposite of what's intended because the "caring" responses can make you feel more deeply attached to the forum community and you have yet another thread to stick around and check.

I don't mean any insult by this. It's just my suggestion based on observations in this and other forums.


----------



## tdwal (Jul 28, 2012)

When you figure out how to give this place up, sign back on and tell us how.


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

hib the trigger will fade in time. This site has triggered me as well on several occasions. But the more I am here the more it fades. The more is becomes about someone else and not me anymore. I wouldn't block yourself from tam instead use it to ask for help and advice and stay away from CWI and general relationship discussion. Go to the private section and stay there for awhile start a thread or two. Avoid what makes you trigger or don't and find a way to use your emotions positively.


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

You have my blessing to call me a raging c*nt b*tch...that should get you banned :smthumbup:


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

I come back from time to time when I feel the urge to do something I might regret again.


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

the fastest way to get banned is tell the truth about a woman on here. when i got banned it was for pointing out what one poster had said about her husband (well many things) and i just repeated that and the great wise mods here said i personally attacked her. 

so if you want banned just do that. dont lie dont make up stuff just point out facts that she SAID (has to be a woman) and the mods will ban you.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> I am grateful for the opinions and advice given on this site but it has served its purpose and it would be healthier for me to break away from it.
> 
> I seem to relive my DDay over and over again when I read new threads of infidelity. TAM has become a trigger.
> 
> Can someone please ban me because I cannot delete my account. Taking a break doesnt help as I return shortly afterwards.


But we'll miss you.


----------



## JadedHusband (Aug 17, 2013)

If you cant keep yourself from posting on a website you will have difficulty taking control of other aspects of your life. I do agree that reading people's stories makes me relive some of my darker days
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Vanguard said:


> OP just insult a WW. That'll get you banned


Just don't insult me. That gets you GOOD user points.


----------

