# ohwowohwowohwow…. take 2



## minnesota59 (Apr 3, 2015)

Well, it just took a twist again today. The SH was cancelled due to his atty becoming ill. HE left a message stating he was at his atty.'s office "formally requesting to drop everything. I want to stop this NOW, it is my sincere desire, and if I (me)wish to proceed there's not much I (he)can do about it". WTH??? After ALL of the crap he's done, he HONESTLY THINKS that I will roll over, smile sweetly, and welcome him back???!!! He's never mentioned missing our daughter(she's 21 and still lives at home), just that he misses "his house, and the property"
Guess reality must have smacked him up along side the head...Wondering what his gf thinks? (not that I really care…)


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Well the grass probably ain't greener. He had the better deal in your marriage.

As for the gf, he'd probably keep her on the side and learn to hide her better. Too bad she's so insecure and pathetic that she's willing to be involved with someone like this.

I've read some of your other posts and I think you're handling this like a champ. I tip my hat to you


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

minnesota59 said:


> Well, it just took a twist again today. The SH was cancelled due to his atty becoming ill. HE left a message stating he was at his atty.'s office "formally requesting to drop everything. I want to stop this NOW, it is my sincere desire, and if I (me)wish to proceed there's not much I (he)can do about it". WTH??? After ALL of the crap he's done, he HONESTLY THINKS that I will roll over, smile sweetly, and welcome him back???!!! He's never mentioned missing our daughter(she's 21 and still lives at home), just that he misses "his house, and the property"
> Guess reality must have smacked him up along side the head...Wondering what his gf thinks? (not that I really care…)


Im confused. In your other posting you said he filed for divorce. Did you file a counterclaim for divorce also? He can stop his filing at anytime, he doesn't need your permission unfortunately and Im surprised his lawyer wasted the paper to send you a letter unless you have filed a counterclaim.

It sounds like he got dumped by the gf and he is scrambling now.


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## minnesota59 (Apr 3, 2015)

yes, he filed for divorce, and I filed a counter petition. I guess I am surprised that after his being the initiator,moving in with the gf, and acting like this was the best decision he had ever made, that he would suddenly completely change his mind….


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It's not surprising at all. It hasn't worked (for whatever reason) as he felt it would. That happens to many who leave. Then they change their mind and miss their life and try to scramble back home. That's exactly what he's been leading up to in your other posts. He wants that life back and he assumes you'll let him come back. If you do decide to do that, he has a tremendous amount of work to do. R is a lot more difficult than D.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

minnesota59 said:


> yes, he filed for divorce, and I filed a counter petition. I guess I am surprised that after his being the initiator,moving in with the gf, and acting like this was the best decision he had ever made, that he would suddenly completely change his mind….


The old saying careful what you wish for, you might get it. He has probably learned that affair land turns into real life and its never what they "dream" it will be. Since you have a counterclaim filed he can withdraw his petition but all that will occur is the names get reversed. 

That's why you got the lawyer letter. He lost his perceived control and you run the show.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## minnesota59 (Apr 3, 2015)

He sought me out AGAIN tonight. NOW he says that because he has stopped the proceedings on HIS part, he's MOVING BACK IN! Oh my gosh, I am at my wits end…I can't even stand being around him for 2 seconds, let alone him LIVING here. I have a call into my lawyer, but now it's Memorial Weekend, so won't get any response until Tuesday. What the HE!! do I do????
He's just as snarkey as he's ever been, says I'M unstable, and yes I probably am. But gee,I wonder if emotion has ANYthing to do with it?? I told him that the house will go up for sale, and that he can't afford to buy me out, unless he borrows money from his gf.."and oh, I'm sure you're keeping her on the side,right?" grrrrrrrr…..
I am literally sick to my stomach…..


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You aren't divorced so I don't think that legally there's anything you can do when he shows up with his stuff and moves back in (obviously, your attorney will answer that for you definitively next week). Hopefully, he doesn't plan on moving back into your bedroom but he might. Be prepared for anything so that you aren't blindsided.


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## minnesota59 (Apr 3, 2015)

I feel like my life these past few months have been spent in a cesspool..
Yesterday after telling me how he is moving back "home", I went on a little fact finding drive…Saw his vehicle parked at a bar near me, then a few hours later, I saw the truck parked at the gf's house…thus my statement yesterday to him about keeping her on the side…. as my momma used to say "why buy the COW if the milk is free"….
My atty sent a letter to his ( on May 1),stating he needed "to stay away from the marital home, or be permitted only by advanced notice and mutual agreement.His stance is that because his name is on the mortgage, he can come and go at will." Is this suggestive, or is it null and void because of his stopping his side of the proceedings? HE said his atty said it wasn't effective.
I am really losing my grip with this. I feel like I am being backed into a corner with no means of escape….
I apologize if I am redundant in my posts. Clarity and a continuity of thought are severely lacking these days…..


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

First thing you need to do is take a deep breath. Ask your attorney on Tuesday if he can come back since he already abandoned the house. If he ends up moving back for a while ignore him and treat him like he's nothing.


Meanwhile, pursue a divorce from your end. He can't keep the house without buying you out so a judge will order it to be sold. He's burying his head right now in hopes you'll cave and take sloppy seconds. Do not show him any emotion and tell him if he attempt to move back in you will pursue him for every last dime you can get, and his gf may not want a broke scumbag.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Can you change the locks? Remove all extra beds from the house (so he has nothing to sleep on). Make it virtually impossible for him to be comfortable in the house. You have to go down to his level - he sounds like a right piece of work.

Tell his GF that he wants to move back into the house - he wants to cheat on her also - make it uncomfortable on him with her.

Pursue divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour- your lawyer will know what to do, just hold down the fort for the next few days.


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