# If not porn, then what?



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.

She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.

Now, um. . .this is not normally my modus operandi (I tend to be a more sensual lover and tend to like to mind sex). . .but I know how all the women here feel about porn, that it is Evil Incarnate, and any man engaging it is Evil Incarnate, so where I am to learn the psychological and physical dimensions of modeling this to please my lover?

Books? TV? Church? Star Trek?

Just give her hair a sudden yank and her butt a sudden smack?

I am interested in the Sign Holder/activists response.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

uhh..yea when you are doin the do...pull the hair or slap the ass, just go for it..

i love it missionary makes it hard to do those things..but me on top or dogy gives access to either or...but i dont like it to much when im going down below...


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Um, I see words.

Me man.

Me need pictures.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Scannerguard,

I'm not sure what is difficult to figure out. If doing doggy style just smack her but (or if she is on top, etc).

Won't say I understand it but I had a brief girlfriend in between marriages that actually had me use a belt on her, it was crazy but kinda fun too...


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Practice, lots of practice! 

The way those porno women love to be spanked may very well be different from the way your lady likes to be spanked. 

But, I don't think porn is evil. My husband isn't into it for whatever reason. I haven't had to think about it much.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.
> 
> She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.
> 
> Now, um. . .this is not normally my modus operandi (I tend to be a more sensual lover and tend to like to mind sex). . .but I know how all the women here feel about porn, that it is Evil Incarnate, and any man engaging it is Evil Incarnate,


All??!!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I like both kinky & mindful as well as heart-full.

When I shared with my husband that I wanted to get a little bit kinkier, he began searching sites that sold kinky things. Now we're collecting.

It's not really rocket science. You get the nipple clamps, the collar, the cuffs...you can even get the great gadgets that pull you into submissive positions. Experiment away.

Trial, error, success and experimentation are your friend Scanner.


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

Okay well.....this might sound like a kind of wild way of doing things Scannerguard - but you could always talk to her and ask her to show & tell you what she likes.

I know....I know.....this whole talking to each other business is a little bit "out there" in regards to what some men expect to do in their relationship - so I'm really sorry if my suggestion is offensive. 

(I did warn you it was wild concept though...so I have to get brownie points for that I reckon).


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.
> 
> She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.
> 
> ...


Let her teach you to have sex. Do what she loves and you are in trouble!  She will keep on thinking about you and wanting you and you can't leave! Ha ha ha ha ha.................................:rofl:


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I would ask her to point you in the right direction.. maybe she can give you a site to check out that will give you a clue? me... not into the smacking around, but there are plenty of other things to play out there... Ask her about it, let her show you, or tell you where to look.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Scannerguard said:


> Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.
> 
> She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.
> 
> ...


I don't think any man who watches porn is evil, and I have watched porn and I certainly don't consider myself evil.
But i know it doesn't enhance our sex life, and believe it harms it so we use our own imaginations.

In the bedroom, I like him to be a little rough too, I have just expressed how I feel, and he likes me to feel comfortable.

I tell him I like hair pulling for instance, or him to tell me what to do. I just don't think it's that hard quite frankly when your in the moment to get caught up in it and go for it.

I just don't understand why it needs to be watched first in order to do it. You can just figure it out together, and set the boundaries that way.

Some of the stuff we do in the bedroom i had never done or thought about doing untill I met my fiance, but now if he tells me hes interested in something, we try it out, and i don't watch porn to see how it's done, that's something we work on between the two of us.

Honestly though, if you can't have sex without using porn as a how to guide then you are in trouble. Porn is not educational. It would be like going to school to learn about Cambodian history so you could be a great leader and being given the Pole Pot version, and then swallowing that and trying to use it to make a great country. If you want to know what not to do, and how to be bad in bed, sure get some tips from porn.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.
> 
> She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.
> 
> ...


Scanner, go watch porn. You will learn plenty about rough sex, hair pulling and slappin her around. Wow, I typed all that while still holding my sign. Yes, yes I am Wonder Woman.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Heh, rough sex. I did not know how to have it. My gf didn't as well. It wasn't until some day she asked me to pull her hair that I reluctantly tried. Enjoyed it actually and she did as well  As for resources, quite a lot of sites on the Internet about it. If not your thing, porn might help but the best one was for us the Expert Guide to Sex series. The one to rough sex. Had such a great explanation if the types of slaps, locations, choking, how to pull hair, how to start, all that stuff and more. Even on being rough with men 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I love rough sex. 

I love it when my husband becomes a wild animal.................Wow, a lustful man, drool.......................

Pull my hair, slap my ass, do me hard.......................

But don't pull my hair off, or impose pain on me.....................

Have to make sure to be gentle when you want to be rough!!!


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## QuietCoolGeek (Feb 28, 2011)

So wait, is the question "how do I learn how to have better/different sex"?

Dude, there's a WHOLE aisle at the local bookstore with hundreds of books. After you've been through 50 of them you'll start seeing repeat info; but you'll be 50 books smarter. 

I also recommend material by David Shade. You can get his stuff online. Most of it is related to dirty talk and hypnosis kinda stuff, but it's a good audio book option.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

QuietCoolGeek said:


> So wait, is the question "how do I learn how to have better/different sex"?.



Imagination, fantasy. :smthumbup:


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Okay, I am with a woman right now who is, um, let's say high libido.
> 
> She told me she likes rough sex and butt slaps and hair pulls.
> 
> ...



You are either into rough sex or you are not. I don't think you can fake it. If you fake it just to please her she will know. Part of the excitement is you wanting to do it, and being into it as much as her. You act out the sex acts that you fantasize about. If rough sex isn't what you fantasize about or crave, then mostly likely you aren't into it.

You two may not be compatible, but certainly worth exploring.

You would be surprised what you can learn in church even choir boys like sex


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