# Husband has a really dark side to him what do i do?



## alivebutconfused (Jan 29, 2013)

I don't know how to really say this but it really concerns me so i will just go. My husband is a very good, sweet, loving and affectionate man towards me and our children. We have been together for 8 years and married for 3 and just had our first child a baby girl. All of these years we never had any issues and we have a good sex life and consider each other to be soul mates. However he has always been really secretive about what he does at work although i know what he does in general. He works for the government and used to have very odd hours for desk work, but now he has regular hours and a very flexible schedule but he can be gone a lot if he chooses with meetings in other cities. The other night we were having a very deep talk which we love to have but had not had in a while and he got very emotional saying having a daughter has made him think about changing jobs and his life. I asked what do you mean? and he talked for a while about how much he loves his us and how precious our daughter is how he wants nobody to hurt her and how cruel the world is. I felt he had more to say so i let him talk and sort of pried it out of him, he started to talk about his line of work and than he asked me if he can tell me something very serious and very deep. I said sure and this entire time he was scared and nervous to tell me but he eventually did. He proceeded to tell me about his views of the world and what the government does and what he does. In the end i must say it was very very dark and rather shocking. 

I don't know what to do. I love him more than anything and know he is a good man he treats me so well and our daughter with so much love he is extremely affectionate. I have never experienced so much love until i met him i cannot imagine being with anyone else. However at the same time i am very concerned of how he views people and the world and his line of work, now i am concerned about our government even more and the actions they take. 

I will not leave him but i want to help him, he seems open to leaving behind all that. I just am confused i feel i can fix him, he has so much love he shows us i want him to see others as good and view them as worthy of goodness not as people to be ruled, or removed should they be an obstacle.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Which side is he on? The one that wants to rule it's own people and remove the disobedient citizens?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

When you spend all day every day, dealing with the very worst society has to offer, you become jaded and disconnected from society. When you become a parent, you realize you must save the whole world so your child has a safe place to live, grow and love. No matter what your husband really does, he has just reached a milestone. 

I am my brothers keeper because I am my child's parent.

Welcome!


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Anon,
It could be that her husband is of the mindset that the gov't should rule and control the people, and eliminate those who get in the way.

This is my sense of it, waiting for OP to confirm.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

It sounds the opposite to me, Thoreau. It sounds as if he realizes that our government sees the sheeple within its borders as commodities that can be used as the government deems appropriate. 

I'd personally agree with him based on the exposures I've had to just MID-level military stuff. I dread to think of what really goes in behind closed doors in Washington!

I think it's a good sign that he's considering changing jobs, and that if he gets distance between himself and that, it can help him regain a different perspective.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Kathy,
Read her last sentence. It seems he is a part of that.

I too have been "exposed" quite far up the chain. Very enlightening indeed, and one of the reasons for my screen name, Civil Disobedience and all.

I do agree with your last sentence.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

If he wants to change the system, if he doesn't agree with it and thinks the government is up to no good, one good way to do it is from within. Then there are those like John Perkins, who walk away, go public and keep on truckin'.

Ultimately, your husband is going to follow his path. I don't think he has a dark side, I think he's realistic. There are a lot of legitimate issues to be worrying about, when it comes to society, and government!

He could get a plan, so that the change wouldn't be abrupt. I think you can probably be behind him 100% without too much worry, regardless of what he decides. It sounds to me like his concerns are rational, and he's had a sort of wake-up call.


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

it sounds like he should leave his line of work. i can't tell which side he is on, but it sounds like he's leading a double life and living with the paradox of his dark side and the goodness and innocence of your child is screwing him up. it's time for him to get out. it's great that he confided in you. i'm not even sure if you can influence him one way or the other, but it sounds scary and I'd be nervous every time he left the house.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

IsGirl3 said:


> it sounds like he should leave his line of work. i can't tell which side he is on, but it sounds like he's leading a double life and living with the paradox of his dark side and the goodness and innocence of your child is screwing him up. it's time for him to get out. it's great that he confided in you. i'm not even sure if you can influence him one way or the other, but it sounds very creepy and scary and I'd be nervous every time he left the house.


Right, but it doesn't sound like it's the sort of thing that can be done abruptly, and perhaps he hasn't even explored his own organization to see who might be like-minded with him.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

OP you shouldn't be posting that on this forum. And you definitely shouldn't be answering any more questions about his job.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Thoreau said:


> Anon,
> It could be that her husband is of the mindset that the gov't should rule and control the people, and eliminate those who get in the way.
> 
> This is my sense of it, waiting for OP to confirm.


I cerainly hope she doesnt confirm! Good Golly Miss Molly!

I prefer not to think on it Thoreau. Like Scarlett, tomorrow's another day; I'll think about it tomorrow. My head hurts...


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