# STBXW giving grief over concert



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Living separately since august '12 an hour apart. Kids with me during the week and her Fri-Sun until she moves here. She has some festival she wants to go to on Saturday the 27th so I agreed to keep boys all weekend. Her reasoning is just that it's not something the boys would be in to since there is a hour long speaker or whatever. I don't care. Found out my favorite band is playing on Sunday 28th. Asked if she would be willing to watch boys that night and take them to school monday morning (remember it's an hour commute).

Her first question is "are you going by yourself or is one of those ***** girlfriends of yours going with you?" Ok, so recently she figured out I was dating when I turned her down for sex. Point in fact I'm not going with anyone because tickets are 100 bucks easy and I can't afford to be treating anyone. So I respond that I'm going alone. I also say that if she can't or is unwilling to watch them I'd just find a sitter. Her response was that I'm "emotionally blackmailing her because I know she doesn't want some stranger watching them while I go ***** it up with girls and party" and that I'm "setting her up to only be able to say yes" because she apparently feels like she has the right to tell me I can't get a sitter even when she refuses to keep them.

Can she do that?

On a side note, I had attempted to negotiate with her and offered to mow the back yard on sundays when I pick up the kids since I know she despises anything resembling yard work. That got thrown back in my face too.


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

ok, how about just opinions? lol


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

She has NO right to tell you that you cannot get a sitter if she turns down keeping the kids. Thats ridiculous!


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

She sounds exactly the same

All control - all the time.

She has no earthly right to do this


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

3Xnocharm said:


> She has NO right to tell you that you cannot get a sitter if she turns down keeping the kids. Thats ridiculous!


That's my thought as well.


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Conrad said:


> She sounds exactly the same
> 
> All control - all the time.
> 
> She has no earthly right to do this


In all likelihood if I can't get her to take the time to watch her kids on her "off" night and drive them to school on her actual day off from work, then I'll just find a sitter.


----------



## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

Not that it really matters, but who left whom, and why?

But, no...she can't tell you what to do with the kids on 'your time'. Give her first dibs (which you did), and find an alternative when she turns down the offer. To hell with what she thinks.


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

HappyKaty said:


> Not that it really matters, but who left whom, and why?
> 
> But, no...she can't tell you what to do with the kids on 'your time'. Give her first dibs (which you did), and find an alternative when she turns down the offer. To hell with what she thinks.


I left her. I've lived on my own since last August and she gets them every weekend. Marriage just fell apart. The relationship was unsupportable. In my opinion she's just never emotionally matured. It's like she's still in high school.


----------



## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> I left her. I've lived on my own since last August and she gets them every weekend. Marriage just fell apart. The relationship was unsupportable. In my opinion she's just never emotionally matured. It's like she's still in high school.


Oh, so she's bitter, because you left her, and tries to make your life hell?

Sucks to suck.


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

HappyKaty said:


> Oh, so she's bitter, because you left her, and tries to make your life hell?
> 
> Sucks to suck.


yep, that's pretty much it...


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

HappyKaty said:


> Oh, so she's bitter, because you left her, and tries to make your life hell?
> 
> Sucks to suck.


She didn't wait until after he left.


----------



## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

You did right by asking her first, if she can't then that is fine. Get a sitter. Oh, and stop cutting her grass.


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Lol! I totally offered to do the back yard as incentive and she didn't go for it....lol told her good luck figuring out where the holes are with grass that high....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Get a sitter and don't ask her opinion.

Don't have her keep them...it's just one more thing to hold over your head.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

one_strange_otter said:


> Lol! I totally offered to do the back yard as incentive and she didn't go for it....lol told her good luck figuring out where the holes are with grass that high....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My old friend Banned-It often used one of my favorite lines.

The hell with the b!tch.

It applies here


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Don't know if this helps, but I know two former couples who give the other party the right to take the kids on an off night prior to getting a sitter. Silly, but they always love the opportunity to have more time with their children. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. You did the right thing and she is out of bounds.


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I'd get the sitter even if she says she'll do it. I just don't trust her....


----------

