# I think I hate men...



## PrincessMarie (Feb 22, 2012)

For some reason dealing with my husband and reading people's topics that relate to my situation make me hate men with all my being. It just seems like they are a bunch of low-life creeps that need to be removed from existance. All the cheating, not being able to keep from eye stripping every girl they see, not treating anyone but their **** with respect... I just really hope that someday everyone just rejects them until they get the idea through their empty skulls that they're screwing up their existance big time.

It's like them being nice is just so they get something out of it and they never do it just because they want to make you happy. Some guys aren't even nice and the porn addiction all of them seem to have... don't get my started.

Is anyone else fed up with the opposite sex (men)?
How do you deal with your crappy SO?
Does reading similar situations to your own help you or make you even more angry/upset/etc.?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Sorry you feel that way about all of us.I've always tried to be a decent person and I think I've achieved it to some degree.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Woah! I'm not into porn. I don't cheat. I treat women with respect. Ok, so maybe I kinda eye-strip a few of them....alright, most of them. Does that make me a bad person? If God didn't want them looked at, He wouldn't have made them so interesting. No fish bites an empty hook.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Is your gender any better? Read below



> dauntless said:
> 
> 
> > I started visiting this forum about three weeks ago, when I first suspected my wife was having an EA. I didn't have proof, but I knew she wasn't being honest with me.
> ...


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

crumbs! I've been out with some total as*hats in my life, truly

but I LOVE men, men are great - we are all beautiful flawed individuals, some of the finest and most decent people I know are men

don't tell me you've never looked at a hot 19 year old builder with his shirt off and stared dreamily off into the distance....


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

As a Princess you will of course be Perfect. And as such you will of course be a Saint in your own lifetime. Good luck to you finding a Martyr, a willing Victim of a man to live with you.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

You can't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. However if you flip it I personally know some women that are a-holes but I'm not going to go on hating every woman on earth. 

Yeah there are some sucky people on this here earth but we just have to learn to deal with them.

As for dealing with H when he is being a jerk? Well, depends on what has happened sometimes I find it easier to walk away from the argument. I have gone out for walks and have cursed out H (of course this is when he isn't around) once I have cooled off I talk to him about whatever it is we argued about.

And besides if we rejected every single man then how would we reproduce!!!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

BOTH our genders can bring out the sublime as well the hideous. Even lesbian have been betrayed.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

I DO understand your frustration, as I've been there.

Not all men are bad...but again..I do understand how angry you are. It stinks to be treated badly.

Do yourself a favor and stay single for a bit. Find yourself. Look elf for a man that wants you for for YOU and not for who he thinks you should be.

Not all men are jerks. There are many out there that have been hurt as badly as you have.

Choose your men wisely. Nobodies perfect, althought they may seem to be at first, yet once the wrappers come off...the real person comes out. Can you accept that person as they are?

If not, you have every right to move on to someone better..someone who suits you since right now..it's all about you..and when you find Mr. Right...you'll know it and the two of you will be soooo right for each other that meeting in the middile will be..not always easy..but you'll love each other enough to MAKE it easy.

Good luck in your seach.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

It’s not only a madness but a stupidity to project her experience of one man onto all men.


Still, the good news is she has a massive amount of growing and learning to do. If only she could get herself down from that exceedingly high Throne of hers then she may just be able to make a start.

Until then her life will forever remain the same as it is right now because she will forever remain the same.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

PrincessMarie said:


> For some reason dealing with my husband and reading people's topics that relate to my situation make me hate men with all my being. It just seems like they are a bunch of low-life creeps that need to be removed from existance. All the cheating, not being able to keep from eye stripping every girl they see, not treating anyone but their **** with respect... I just really hope that someday everyone just rejects them until they get the idea through their empty skulls that they're screwing up their existance big time.
> 
> It's like them being nice is just so they get something out of it and they never do it just because they want to make you happy. Some guys aren't even nice and the porn addiction all of them seem to have... don't get my started.
> 
> ...


You are what is known as pathologically embittered Anger, Rage and Pathological Embitterment: What Motivates Mass Murders? | Psychology Today.

You’re PE due to your projection of your anger and hatred of one man onto all men. If your anger and hatred were directed at children in a public place, you’d be sectioned, locked away to protect children from your revengeful ways and as a way of helping you.

I find these things truly amazing. My mother in law is a Scot living in England. One man at her work place took the mick out of her accent so for the next 50 years she hated all Englishmen. She taught her children to behave in these pathological ways of anger and hatred and one, through the expression of his anger and hatred became a mass murderer of totally innocent bystanders.


You need to find healthy ways of processing your hatred and anger. You could look to your childhood and see what you learnt there but when people do that they chase a lot of red herrings. So it’s often better to take stock of your current situation, see where you want to be in the future and make plans to get there. It does involve a lot of self work. Of course just keep treading the path through your life as it is now and you’ll end up being one lonely, angry and bitter old woman.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Do you REALLY believe, with all your heart, that all men are the way you describe, or might you think of some exceptions to your statement?


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## PrincessMarie (Feb 22, 2012)

There are exceptions to every rule, thank you to Homemaker who has been the only non-rude person thus far. I do not sit atop any throne and haven't for years. I use to be treated well, but that was until the person's will to pretend they were good broke. I am not projecting my view of one man, but several dozen men I have known in my life. Be it coworkers, classmates and family.

Also: As for the builder comment, eww. Muscles bigger than what is needed to lift every day objects are gross. I do not look at other men unless one walks in front of my vision, than I notice there is an obstacle in my way I have to walk around.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

You might want to look into anger management courses. While you may have a good reason to be angry; your degree appears quite over the top.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Stick with the exceptions, and grow your population of men that you choose to notice, from there.

I asked you exactly the same question my therapist asked me when I was in an abusive relationship and stated more or less the same sentiment that you did, in counseling. 

Since I changed my mind and allowed it to think of first one exception, then another, my world has become full of exceptions, and as for the 'rule' I don't let these men into my life in any kind of meaningful way. Sure they still exist, but I can choose to exclude them from my thoughts, and once excluded from my thoughts, they also get excluded from my conscious life. 

Just keep at it, you will get the hang of it. There will always be jerks, but you can make choices about how much importance you give them in your life. If you are feeling trapped by one in particular, then there are some choices you need to make about inclusion/exclusion. Reality and coping with it can be brutal.

Throwing the bathwater out with the baby is a convenience in terms of decision making, but it doesn't leave you with anything. It does take some work and effort to figure out what in your life is 'baby' and what in your life is 'bathwater' and to apply the filter. 

Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by having to think about who is a jerk and who isn't...just allow yourself to experience a true feeling about everyone you have any kind of relationship with...you don't even have to make any kind of decision about men that you might know but who can't affect you due to not being in your life. The only men you have to worry about are the ones you give the opportunity to hurt you or to be kind to you. The other ones, who cares whether they are jerks or not...it's not going to affect your life. Also, maybe someone is going to act towards someone else like a jerk and they are kind to you...maybe there is a reason they are giving someone else a cold shoulder...it might be deserved, you can only base your opinion on how they treat you (unless they are being criminal, etc. towards someone else, which is different than being a jerk...)

People who pretend, you can tell by how you feel that they're pretending. If someone is pretending to be nice then don't get confused and think you have to play along with them until they're exposed...treat them as a pretender, don't get close to them. This has happened to me, I used to think that I owed someone some nicety or whatever because I couldn't prove that their actions were pretense...now I go by my own emotional truth, not what can be proved. This keeps the jerks well out of my life.


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