# DDay Coming in 16 Days- Any Advice



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

It is going to be so final feeling. And wow, I really don't know about that. It is going to be very strange, feel like I am not on Earth.

I know I need to just live in the day but boy has anybody been in court. What happened to you as the hurting partner? Did you hold up? Did you need a box of Kleenex? 

I am scared that I am going to fall apart. He doesn't have to be there since I am the petitioner (as if that means anything, had no choice with his antics) but I think he may come. I had told him several times, he needn't be there but I think he may come just to make sure.

Any advice from an experience point of view?


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## ohprecious (Jul 3, 2011)

Sorry that I dont have any advice regarding court but I tell you one thing that has gotten me through the days that I had the most anxiety is that the night before and that morning I would meditate and really sit and visualize exactly the way I wanted the outcome to be, kind of like an athlete does before going into the game, and I try and visualize the best outcome.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

ohprecious: Thank you for your suggestions. I will try that approach. I know it is still 2 wks away and that means it actually gives me more time to work on acceptance.

Again thanks for the input.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

You will make it through. We will be here when you get back if you need someone to listen/vent with. Would however like to hear how you handled it/advice later. If its not to much to ask :/


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Sparkles, 
My court date is the end of august.
At some points I feel better, like its going to be okay, and my life will move on with more freedom, less obligation to someone unworthy of it, making my own decisions and choices based primarily on myself. Its been far too long since I have centered on "me".

And,,,, then a day like today comes along, where the unknown of my future grips me. When you can foresee nothing for sure, i.e., where will I live?, what will this be like? will i be able to afford it?, will I love again? Have I lost anything?
and its appears to be a pretty big mess of "unknown" to try to find a hope about.

I dont know how to cope with this, I was betrayed, and then asked by her for a divorce. No MC, no chance of R. 
She has now decided above all else, that "her feelings have changed". This is the explanation. This is the core of why everything happened.

Its hard to have everything I am and was be reduced to so very little impact or strength. Its hard to have it amount to so little.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I will definitely be posting no doubt that day. Now it is 13 really it is like a countdown to the Main Event.

I am going to be just fine. I feel fine because stbxh hasn't been around since 6/28 back in 3 days thought. But there have been big changes in me like I am not in love anymore! What about that people? 

It was lots of work tearing down the bs of dreaming but I did it and saw the Truth and feel free because of it. I still will have kleenex but may not use or need them.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> But there have been big changes in me like I am not in love anymore! What about that people?


Insane!:smthumbup:
I am happy for you and these big changes.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

shooboom: I understand your feelings completely. That is what my fears are, what is the future for me? where will I live? will I get a good job? will I be able to trust again?

But the good news for us in all of this is: not ONE question about stbx's feelings. I realized that and that is why I know I have begun the process of truly moving on because it is no longer about spouse but about me. YAHOO! I am free (like that Who song).

Look at it like the next great adventure. Isn't it? Let's take that fear reduce it to size and say I am excited again, who knows what lies up the road. I am excited at times. That's living. Haven't felt that way in a long, long time.


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