# If a woman feels pressured...



## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

My wife has a serious "burden factor" going on, she has been blamed for everything her whole life so even though I do not pressure her, she sometimes feels that way. 

I am getting a vasectomy, I told her I need to ejaculate at least 20 times before I take a sample to be checked. Well, she took this as it was all on her to make me cum 20 times in one week or something. I never said that. But I felt rejected bacause she seemed to get so upset by it.
She made a comment like "oh, but we could have sex to reach that goal also" it made me wonder, is oral or by hand a chore for her? Was the blow job I got the other night out of duty? or is all this just stemming from her perception of being pressured? I live a roller coaster. 

So, my question is: Women, if you feel pressured for sex at all, does it turn you off even if the relationship is healthy? Is it different for normal sex and oral sex?


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## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

I can tell you from my experience that women like the oral part to be reciprocal.. and normally they like it first but if you ge her off before she returns the favor her mood will likely lessen by the time it's your turn to receive. 69 is cool for both.. mutual masturbation is great handjob exercise so both partners feel 'appreciated' in the moment.. she may just feel like if she obliges you orally or by hand that you wont return the favor.. LOTS of slow and long foreplay is in order and the next step is to situp and face each other and while kissing guide her hands where you want them and put yours in place as well.. keep going until you both reach climax 

see if she's ok with you pleasing her orally and you take care of you solo at the same time ??

i hope this helps
mike


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## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

She knows I would orally please her anytime and all the time if she wanted me to. She seems to not want me to. I send her into lala land when I do, she says Im incredibly good at it. But she always says she hasnt had a bath or she's worried about her tummy or whatever. I sometimes think she just feels guilty because she doesnt want to do it to me. 

I am mainly wondering how a woman responds when she feels pressured though. 



daddymikey1975 said:


> I can tell you from my experience that women like the oral part to be reciprocal.. and normally they like it first but if you ge her off before she returns the favor her mood will likely lessen by the time it's your turn to receive. 69 is cool for both.. mutual masturbation is great handjob exercise so both partners feel 'appreciated' in the moment.. she may just feel like if she obliges you orally or by hand that you wont return the favor.. LOTS of slow and long foreplay is in order and the next step is to situp and face each other and while kissing guide her hands where you want them and put yours in place as well.. keep going until you both reach climax
> 
> see if she's ok with you pleasing her orally and you take care of you solo at the same time ??
> 
> ...


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## birdie (May 10, 2009)

i'm married to a man so yup i feel pressured 50% of the time!
of course it depends on the individual-but men often have a bigger sex drive than women- but i know you've said your wife feels guilty often. Perhaps by empathising with her you can get a better idea of how she feels- she may feel obligated to have sex, oral,but don't you feel obligated when you have to talk to her about her feelings when you just walked in the door? or perhaps she has some other characteristic that you might 'put up with' because you love her and thats what married people do. I feel pressured to have sex sometimes- because i'm tired, or cramping, or just plain don't want to- but its doesn't effect my feelings towards my husband. Men usually have a higher sex drive than some women, women talk more than men. I'm sure she doesn't feel forced to be with you sexually- which is very different to being pressured or obligated. Do you think she is capable of saying no to you? perhaps let her know that being satisfied sexually at the moment is a joint responsiblity and you'll let her know if you need her assistance if she is feeling guilty at the moment! Hope everything works out for you, all the best.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Short answer: yes. Add to the pressure a lack of interest in what SHE wants, and you have the recipe for disaster that is my marriage. Do you listen to what she says, including simply the noises she might make? Do you pay attention to the motions she makes, or the way she directs/redirects you subtly? These are the things a sensitive lover does. You should learn about her through these things. If she has to keep doing/saying the same thing over and over again, she will feel pressured to orchestrate her own pleasure, too, and sex becomes one more burden.


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