# wife ran away, gone 3 nights and left kids behind.



## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

so she's been gone for 3 days, after getting busted by her mom when she was supposed to be working. she was meeting another guy. we are still married. 

she got mad at her mom and left, left with out the kids. 

been talking to a friend of hers, and apparently she seems very confused about the situation. 

i'm thinking she is trying to find a way to move in with the guy, if she hasnt already moved in with him. or trying to make things work with him. of course that's the worst case scenario that i'm expecting. 

her friend tells me she is not with him, but i got serious doubts. 

i dont have enough cash to hire a lawyer, i live in wa state. anyone know what i can do to keep full custody of the kids. they dont need to see what she has done or what she will end up doing in the future, when her relationship fails. 

i decided i will man up and wont take scrappy left overs.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Get a free consult with a lawyer asap.
Sorry you are here.


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

tom67 said:


> Get a free consult with a lawyer asap.
> Sorry you are here.


I agree with Tommy.

You will have a small window to get everything you want. You must execute in order to protect the kids.

Find a way to gather money to draw up a settlement in your favor. A lot of times when they are in this state of mind they'll sign just about anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

well she came back running when i told her i was gonna take the kids away. so now we are back to 50 50. 

talked about r but she was in angry mode and didnt wanna talk about it. 

told her that she doesnt undertand and will not understand until it's too late and it kinda got in her mind. 

but after her cheating on me, i dont think i can forgive her. so it's all about me and the kids now. i think i deserve a person to love me as much as i can love them. and sadly our marriage i was the loving one and it was 80% from me and 20% from her. 

i feel i won the battle getting her butt back home to her parents, as she needs to assume responsability for the kids. 

whether she is still seeing the other guy i dont know and i dont believe her when she said no. but she swore on the kids that she would wait till after the divorce is final to start dating. 
so i feel i won another battle there. 

i feel much better now, than i did when she left. i guess my ego was hurt when left, and not my heart.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

How old is she? Does she read romance novels from the supermarket?


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

i talked to my sister about the whole problem and she pointed out that she is probably going through mid life crisis. and i think she is. sadly she cheated to achieve a better status, money wise.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

she is 30. before she went back to work and hang out with the wrong crowd it was all good, but then she became so self conscious, thinking about how she hasn't achived very much and so on.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

At 30 MLC... no
She is a cake eater plain and simple.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

well, it's time to better myself. work hard for my kids and move on. I dont think she deserves a loyal husband. I put up with so much bs over the years. I do love her but it's time to let go and move on to a better future. I wont rush into relationships with new women but i wont be holding on to her anymore. 

this was a wake up call for both of us, I did my part but she didnt.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

I suffered greatly for the past month, and i dont want to risk it again knowing that it can easily happen in the future. to those who can work it out, and have worked it out. blessings to you. but one can not do it alone and try to drag the other person against their will.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

100% focus on you and the kids now.

Separate your finances. Cancel joint bank accounts and credit cards.

Draw up a separation agreement for child custody/visitation purposes. Both of you sign it.

Only communicate with her about the kids. Don't talk about your relationship. At all. She will eventually come crying back to you. Don't buy it. It's an act. She just wants to keep cake-eating.

*Live as if you are already divorced.*

Get an attorney and file. Find the money. Use a credit card if you have to. It's worth it.

Read these articles:

How to Leave a Cheater

The Unified Theory of Cake


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

"Whether she is still seeing the other guy i dont know and i dont believe her when she said no. but she swore on the kids that she would wait till after the divorce is final to start dating."

Don't believe this for another second. Safe yourself the agony.

When someone swears on their kids - you best believe they are lying.

No relationship talk.

You have the upper hand right now. Take advantage of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

She's a liar. She proved that already. Do you think you can negotiate fairly with a selfish liar?

Follow the advice here. You take control of your life and get rid of that selfish cheating liar. The quicker the better for you. 

Don't get mad or even, get free! You'll thank her for it later and the best part is you won't even have to tell her.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

Thanks for the support. Every comment gives me ammo to continue. 

i slept very well last nite, my 6 year old came home with me. i came home, did my exercise, spent some time with my son and then i crashed. 

i'll keep posting as days go by and hopefully my story will help others move on.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

ReGroup said:


> I agree with Tommy.
> 
> You will have a small window to get everything you want. You must execute in order to protect the kids.
> 
> ...


He actually has "how to" example in Zillard's original thread.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

well, i been doing alright. there's my dark moments during the day when i think about her and the family unit. then moments when i think about the OM. such a roller coaster, sadness, happiness and rage. 

no i'm not bipolar.  

today she dropped off the kids and my son told me it was her friend(girl who lives 40 min away). 
so she's not going to work most likely and going somewhere to have fun. 

what a drag, pisses me off. i feel like a tool, as if she was saying, here watch the kids so i can go have fun. at times like this i feel like saying screw you. pay me for taking care of the kids. if you just gonna go out and have fun. 

i'm still exercising and eating a smaller meals than before and watching what i eat. sleeping good. 

but still have that rush of emotions that wont leave me alone. I know it will be a while, but day by day it should go away and just end up as a bad dream. 

while i was out smoking a cigarette a song came to my mind. 
"let it be" by the beattles. 

so i'm singing in my head and thinking, what ever she does from now on, let it be. comfort and inner peace come from God. 
but you cant find it until you renew your connection with God and accept what is, and make peace with your self.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

so she ended up going to the court, lol. 
got a call asking for my dl number and ss. 
she is filing for divorce. 

through txt i told her, and i rubbed it in her face that she bretrayed the family. i gave her the Judas example. 

How Judas sold Jesus for some money and when it was too late he realized his mistake. 

cause that's what she did, gave up the family for a guy with a better paycheck. 

we are getting 50/50 on the kids and assets she keeps hers and i keep mine. 

bankruptcy here i come. 

all though all this is going on, i dont feel anger in me. I feel a sense of relief. dont know why but i do. I feel like weight off my shoulders, and time to get up and fight for a better life.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Welcome to the club my friend. Here Members receive a TAM smoking jacket and matching fez.

You're not alone. Mine rejected and replaced me too. Hope she makes him as happy as her three previous husbands.

You said fight for a better life. Don't you know you were just given your freedom back all wrapped up in a nice fancy bow? In time you will be wanting to thank your STBXW. 

She can only continue to hurt you if you allow it to happen. She left you, she didn't kill you.

You mentioned Judas. Jesus washed his feet feet before the last supper, knowing full well what Judas was going to do.

Don't fight anymore. Let it go and feel good.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

thanks, I guess I will be able to thank her later on. 

and true i got my freedom back. Hold my head up, show confidence and put away all the memories/feelings in a box and lock it. 
then put it in the closet and forget about it.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Divorce her with a smile. She just gave you the gift of 'life'. Such women only serve to waste precious years of life. Sure, they may give birth to beautiful babies, but that's pretty much it. 

Thank her for the children, promise to be a good father and buy her a box full of anti-wrinkle night cream as she'll need them in a few years when the father of her children starts looking more and more attractive while her sorry ass wonders where it all went wrong.

Good luck to you mate. You deserve better than this sh1t.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

i'm gonna go and get a haircut and dress up nicely when it's time to meet . I should give her some anti wrinkle cream too. lol


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

so i been dressing better, got a haircut and posted some pics on facebook. lol 
she saw that i went to the casino with some friends. (i hated the casino cause she would take hundreds out of my pocket there)
that was on friday, saturday, i went to the casino again. 
i kinda messed up that one cause she txt me saying that she wanted to go out. so dumb ass me, offers to take her out. but i said i pick u up and drop u off there and you can go your own way, then let me know when it's time to go home. but still i wasnt supposed to do that. 

then i had a few beers and got too friendly with her. lol over facecam. but it seemed like she was gonna crack and then she stopped. lol 

truly messed up there and should have kept ignoring her. 

next day she is like, i'm gonna leave my parents house and take the kids. so i said who you going with and said my BFF. so i dropped the bomb on her and told her that her Bff(girl) was the one that got her busted with the AP. 

she got mad and told me i was lying, so i said. ask your mom and her mom didnt tell her the truth. instead i was told that i cant go in there house no more. 

so now, it's like everyone against me, but my family is full support for me. they have helped me alot through this process. 

anyways, sunday i told her i was gonna sign the divorce papers. 
told her to come to my house in the morning and we would get it done and over. because i was going out to watch a movie, she asked with who, so i said a friend, then she asked g or b. i said g. 
so i went out and pretended to go to the movies.
on facebook, i posted that i was at the movies, then after a few hours i went to the casino. and posted i was there. lol
she saw that and she unfriend me.  


after that I been ignoring her txts and just talking about the kids. Making it harder for her cause i dont pick the kids up anymore, and she has to drop them off at my place, lucky for her is in her way to work. 

staying strong, still working out and eating 1/3 of the big meals i used to. 

got a bit angry today but talked to my sis and vented most of it out.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

for some reason she is not bugging me about the divorce anymore. but i will have to ask her again. 

but i did put some doubt in her mind that i'm moving and have found another friend.


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## ICLH (Dec 26, 2013)

Ignore her completely unless it has to do with the kids.


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## tainted (Aug 16, 2013)

If you haven't already, post her on cheaterville. The OM too


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

yes man, you have to detach from her, ignore her for anything that is not kid's related, hang out with friends and family, enjoy social life, meet new people, distract yourself productively (hit the gym, jog, get a social hobby).

your wife is not worth your suffering, she is not even remorseful, she is probably more upset by the fact that OM surely throw her under the buss now the affair is publicly known.

focus in yourself and your kids


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

so she txt me early morning saying, let's fill the divorce papers on saturday. i txt back saying ok. be here by noon. 

she dropped off the kids again today, although i didnt see her face, i heard her voice. it kinda pisses me off to hear her. but at the same time it feels good. lol i'm going nuts. 

i think i need to take a vacation for a week or two and go out of state on my own. 

she is not remorseful about cheating, and if she is telling me the truth the other guy did throw her under the bus, so he could keep his job. but it seems like she is desperate to get him back or maybe not cause she still going to work there, even after everyone knows what happened. 

i dont wanna be plan b, and i cant wait for the divorce to be final, so i get some peace of mind. 

R is no longer an option, she would have to hit rock bottom before she understand what's up. but i'm sure when she does realize it will be too late.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

synthetic said:


> Divorce her with a smile. She just gave you the gift of 'life'. Such women only serve to waste precious years of life. Sure, they may give birth to beautiful babies, but that's pretty much it.
> 
> Thank her for the children, promise to be a good father and buy her a box full of anti-wrinkle night cream as she'll need them in a few years when the father of her children starts looking more and more attractive while her sorry ass wonders where it all went wrong.
> 
> Good luck to you mate. You deserve better than this sh1t.


Great Valentines day gift idea for the betrayed spouses, anti wrinkle cream.....................:rofl::iagree::rofl:


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## Heartbroken84 (Feb 2, 2014)

Sorry your going through this


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