# Another thing for the suspicous and newly discovered BS



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Go visit d-o-c c-o-o--l . com

read about the people having affairs, look for your wife or husband on there. Learn their tricks and games.

Realize that cheaters lie. They neither love nor respect their spouses they are cheating on.

Learn their game, and beat them at it. Bring them down.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Such as the following from that site:

My H, MM and I all work together. After out D-day my MM took a week off from work because he felt horrible and just didn't know how to handle the situation or how my H would react. They had been friends previously also so it made things harder. People at work were and still are suspicious of what is going on but no one knows the truth so it doesn't really matter to me what they say. We all do our jobs well so it just doesn't mean a thing to me. There are gossiping people in every workplace so I just ignore it. My biggest worry was that my H was going to contact MMs W and tell her because she didn't know what happened and if she found out our relationship turned physical she would probably leave him. Anyway its been almost a year since Dday for us and things at work are fine. People still make comments here and there but like I said they have no proof so we just ignore and do our jobs.

----

so from this you should learn:

1. Exposure is very effective and you WS fears it as does the OM.
2. Don't believe for a minute when your WS says it was just friends, and nothing happened.
3. Watch out for AP who sudden disappears for a while.

Burn the AP to the ground, and let them know it was due to the WS.

Tell the WS after you've exposed, and let them know the AP is suffering because of them.

And do not let up or back off because the WS tells you a sob story about the AP.


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## Arona (Jun 16, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Such as the following from that site:
> 
> My H, MM and I all work together. After out D-day my MM took a week off from work because he felt horrible and just didn't know how to handle the situation or how my H would react. They had been friends previously also so it made things harder. People at work were and still are suspicious of what is going on but no one knows the truth so it doesn't really matter to me what they say. We all do our jobs well so it just doesn't mean a thing to me. There are gossiping people in every workplace so I just ignore it. My biggest worry was that my H was going to contact MMs W and tell her because she didn't know what happened and if she found out our relationship turned physical she would probably leave him. Anyway its been almost a year since Dday for us and things at work are fine. People still make comments here and there but like I said they have no proof so we just ignore and do our jobs.
> 
> ...


Just learned all that the hard way
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Just like WS sometimes come here and find their BS looking for help, I think the BS needs to spend time search for their WS getting support and strategy from places like that. 

I didn't see one single post from a remorseful WS or a WS who was going to stop after DD. Every post was fearful for the AP, and figuring out how to keep together with the AP.

It's perhaps the most honest insight into the WS mind set there is. I guess we should be happy to have them documenting their true intentions and plans for us.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

This makes me want to commit mass murder.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Seriously. God damn those people.


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

WhiteMousse said:


> Seriously. God damn those people.


Stop reading their posts. 

I can only ever read those threads in short bursts. If I stay there for more than five minutes, I'm liable to put my fist through a wall.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So how often do they come here and then go back and talk about this forum?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

I think it's a bad idea to go on those threads whether you're a BS or someone in a faithful relationship. You'll just become paranoid in any relationship you go in and frankly, it robs any trust you'll have in someone you love.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Such as the following from that site:
> 
> My H, MM and I all work together. After out D-day my MM took a week off from work because he felt horrible and just didn't know how to handle the situation or how my H would react. They had been friends previously also so it made things harder. People at work were and still are suspicious of what is going on but no one knows the truth so it doesn't really matter to me what they say. We all do our jobs well so it just doesn't mean a thing to me. There are gossiping people in every workplace so I just ignore it. My biggest worry was that my H was going to contact MMs W and tell her because she didn't know what happened and if she found out our relationship turned physical she would probably leave him. Anyway its been almost a year since Dday for us and things at work are fine. People still make comments here and there but like I said they have no proof so we just ignore and do our jobs.
> 
> ...


4. After DDay, they usually take it underground and continue the affair. So you need to monitor.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

May be best to move this to the Private Section?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I think we provide more publicity to this site more than anything they pay for. This site is being referenced all too often here


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> I think we provide more publicity to this site more than anything they pay for. This site is being referenced all too often here


I have mixed feelings on this point. It's a very valid point. 

Opinion #1 - exposing it here and exposing it in general reduces the usefulness of it as meet up place for cheaters. If suspicious spouses find their WS there, then bingo! So by letting people know about it, we hurt their ability to coordinate.

Options #2 - the folks there are so far gone, it's like looking into an opium den full of addicts getting their last hits before the end. Sad, pathetic, and ugly to watch.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Wow, there's some messed up people over there.

"I used to be wild in bed with my husband. But I started feeling like a wife shouldn't do those things. So now I just do them with my affair partner."


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I would like to know... is this just apples and oranges? Two different but equally viable worldviews? Or are they just ****ed up?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

> I heard that this site has information and support for people involved in affairs, any advice you can give me is appreciated. Here is the background:
> 
> I’m a married woman in my early 40’s with one child, a 17 year old son, who will be going to college in 2013. My husband works for a large investment company and does very. We have a good life in general, but he works a lot and is constantly traveling. In February, I took our son to visit a local college and we had a private tour given to us by one of the students, a 20 year old junior. To make a long story short, after the tour I met this student again under the pretext of getting more information on campus living. We had a nice lunch and talk and we agreed to meet again. Fast forward, he and I are now involved in a Physical Affair and we meet between 2 and 4 times a month. There has been no real emotion on my part, just some incredible sex and major boost to my ego. I wanted this fantasy relationship to go on for the foreseeable future.
> 
> ...


Too bad they found the VAR in the van. It should have been velcroed underneath the seat where the OM won't find it. The BH here needs to get one of those pen shaped VARS that he can slip into her purse now since the van is now compromised. Or install a var in the dash with a microphone hidden somewhere else.

Sickening how this WW is a cougar banging some college kid in her van.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Wow, there's some messed up people over there.
> 
> "I used to be wild in bed with my husband. But I started feeling like a wife shouldn't do those things. So now I just do them with my affair partner."


Sounds like my ex - except she was never all that wild in bed with me. Scratch that. Yes, she became a total freak for about five months in 2009. I kept trying to figure out what was going on. Was it hormonal? Diet? I didn't know -- I just knew that I didn't want it to end. Alas, one day my freaky wife left and was replaced with the old blase' frigid one. It wasn't until last November that I learned the truth. She was having an EA with her old BF, which made her sexually excitable. Damn! That was the best sex of our marriage and it was all based on a lie.

As for going over to that site, I visited once and will never return. I agree that it's good to have the other side's playbook but since I don't plan on ever marrying again, what's the use? I've learned so much from CWI that if any of my future girlfriends start using the cheater's script, I would just kick them to the curb and get on with my life.

[I'm getting too old for this shiite.]


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

WhiteMousse said:


> I would like to know... is this just apples and oranges? Two different but equally viable worldviews? Or are they just ****ed up?


I vote for option 2, they're just ****ed up people.

It is fascinating to read how they think. The fog is powerful. It is important not to project our values and logic onto our spouses, because they have their own values, logic, and thought processes. So the lessons to be learned on cheater forums are valuable.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I do hope the skanky WW and her 20 yr old get busted and publicly humiliated like they deserve and fear. Hopefully the husband is playing it cool while he sets up her exposure and divorce. 

These cheaters make me so d#mn angry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Wow, there's some messed up people over there.
> 
> "I used to be wild in bed with my husband. But I started feeling like a wife shouldn't do those things. So now I just do them with my affair partner."


That quote from the cheaters site sounds like Madonna/Wh*&re syndrome in reverse. 

The MC's all told my STBEH that he had Madonna/who%re syndrome.

It sounds like this woman has the female version. 

Sad really.

This site also shows how society has come to almost glamorize cheating and how the internet has helped keep divorce lawyers office filled to the brim.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

> I didn't see one single post from a remorseful WS or a WS who was going to stop after DD


That's because poeple in that site and similar ones are not the average cheater. Too many people cheat but the ones who seek a forum to share their blessing, brags and get advice into how get it coming forever is not the "normal" cheater population. The mentality there is obviously biassed. I think betrayed make them a disservice just asuming thier waywards chare the "no guilt" at all and deluded rationalizations, even less the evilness who transpire in many stories there.
Many professionals write about affairs and how to evercome them. Their insight and research for years it, to me, more representative.
You won't read there a single "remorseful" story, even from former members because the abandon the mentality which let them there to begin with. If the are still there after DDay they are obviusly anything but remorseful. Didn't learn a single thing.

ETA
People there crossed way too many internal boundaires. For them cheating already become a chosen lifestyle more than a eventuality in their lives. They accept internally the infidelity as something perfectly natural, ingrained to their cores and embrace it. "Normal" cheaters go though the motions, barely manage to keep their betrayed ones off the loop and rarely think forehand, evaluate properly the risks... they are too busy compartimentalizing nad racionaliting the whole thing


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## MainMan#6 (Apr 28, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Too bad they found the VAR in the van. It should have been velcroed underneath the seat where the OM won't find it. The BH here needs to get one of those pen shaped VARS that he can slip into her purse now since the van is now compromised. Or install a var in the dash with a microphone hidden somewhere else.
> 
> Sickening how this WW is a cougar banging some college kid in her van.


I just read that story. Apparently she read this site so she could get a better understanding of how her husband may/is feeling. She ended the affair but she said she wasn't going to post here. I guess people are "too real" here lol.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

MainMan#6 said:


> I just read that story. Apparently she read this site so she could get a better understanding of how her husband may/is feeling. She ended the affair but she said she wasn't going to post here. I guess people are "too real" here lol.


I really wish I could find out what happens to her. I'd like to watch the husband's skillful execution of "Gee, honey turns out you're a real piece of trash. I've decided to upgrade to a faithful wife. Please leave now. You'll find your bags packed at the door, and an email just went out to our family and your Other-Boys family exposing your affair. Oh, I also contacted the school and let's just say it would be awkward if you showed your face there again."


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Too bad they found the VAR in the van. It should have been velcroed underneath the seat where the OM won't find it. The BH here needs to get one of those pen shaped VARS that he can slip into her purse now since the van is now compromised. Or install a var in the dash with a microphone hidden somewhere else.
> 
> Sickening how this WW is a cougar banging some college kid in her van.


Agreed. I've... changed in the past year, and I must confess I've become an extremely vindictive person. This ***** deserves to rot in hell, and she also deserves everything that comes before it.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Sara8 said:


> That quote from the cheaters site sounds like Madonna/Wh*&re syndrome in reverse.


That was my immediate thought. Plenty of men have thought the same way, this one was just played in reverse.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

She was another one that said:
"I did it only for sex, (granted, it was the best sex I’ve ever had)"


Similar to Empty Inside statement here.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

aug said:


> She was another one that said:
> "I did it only for sex, (granted, it was the best sex I’ve ever had)"
> 
> 
> Similar to Empty Inside statement here.


This would be like someone thinking the chocolate bar they stole tasted better than the same brand of chocolate bar that they bought.

It is very childlike thinking. But not in a good way.


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## YellowRoses (Jun 2, 2012)

Took one very quick look at that site

That's more than enough for me at the moment


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Briefly looked at that site Sunday night, when I first saw this post. Triggered a nice little anxiety attack that prevented me from even being able to contemplate going to sleep until about 2:30 am.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Grayson said:


> Briefly looked at that site Sunday night, when I first saw this post. Triggered a nice little anxiety attack that prevented me from even being able to contemplate going to sleep until about 2:30 am.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sorry for being part of that. My appologies.

I do think that BS shoud know their enemy for what they are, it will help prevent false R, and it will help focus their responses on things that can e effective.

Clearly being loving nice and forgiving doesn't help with WS. Instead you need to focus on totally destroying the affair, and even the AP to really end the affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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