# It's been six years



## darticus32 (Dec 26, 2008)

To all who reads this I'm looking for advice. My wife and I have been married for 14 years. We are the perfect match except for the sex area. I want it everyday, she doesn't care if we have it ever again. Six years ago my wife told me she had been cheating on me with several guys and it was just sex. I later learned that a few were repeat offenders. I couldn't understand that how someone who doesn't like sex so much, could do that. The sex for us during that time was better, later found out that was why. She had done things for those and during the time when that was going on for me as well, but once it came to light, she stopped. Keep in my I'm looking for advice and opinions. We are very happy today, but. She wants to get past what had happened and is very remorseful for what happened. My problem is when she told me back then for me to accept what had happened I needed to hear details, the dirty details, and usually during intamacy. so I would spin it in my mind and be able to handle it better. Problem is here we are six years later and I still feel like that is owed to me and she wants to get past it. This is our argument and it doesn't change. So when she doesn't talk about it I can't help but get uspet and feel diappointed. Am I wrong for wanting to keep twisting this so I can handle it? I do love her with all my heart.


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## tarheel68 (Sep 17, 2008)

Have youll been to counselling , maybe it would help . But sooner or later ,if you want to stop thinking about it , your going to have to forgive her . You say she has great remorse for all the things she has done ,but has she told you why this happened ? 

The key to fixing a problem is to communicate it openly and honestly . A counsellor will teach you how to do this productively. 

Youll need to get this problem behind you,if you want a healthy marriage. Not to say forget it ,but to forgive and start the healing


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

It seems pretty clear the reason she couldn't care about sex is that you make her feel like a ***** when you put her through this. You may love her with all your heart but this is probably your problem. If this is what you have to have and she is willing to go through it one more time video tape an interview with her about this. And tell her that she will never have to go through this again. You will never bring it up to her ever again. I only suggest this because if this is the only thing that is an issue between you, and counseling has not satisfied you (if you have gone). You can use this video to fill that need in you for closure. But I would then try to ween off of it. I mean if you have access to it at anytime. Why would you need to watch it. Get my drift.


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

impressive reply mommy 22


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

darticus32 said:


> Am I wrong for wanting to keep twisting this so I can handle it? I do love her with all my heart.


I watched a dr.phil once where the women had cheated and she was going to confess it. Dr.Phil told her to only tell him she cheated and to give him no details. 

I pushed for details too when my H deceived me. it didnt help. its just made it harder for me to move on.


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