# Same old song: "Its all falling apart"



## h0pe (Oct 29, 2011)

Nothing new here to you guys, but it is to me. I have no one to go to with this, so here I am. I dont want to bum my friends out and my sister is sympathetic but in another state.

My husband of 16 yrs has decided he is "tired of me" after only last week telling me I am "The Love of His Life". wahhhht???? 

He refuses counseling and says he wants a divorce. OK by me really since there is no love to speak of. He hasnt been able to complete sex in a long time and we dont cuddle even. Its not that important to me if he loved me. Everything is my fault (according to him anyway) so Im sure in his mind he blames me for that too. Or simply has no desire for me. He is a very severe and controlling/controlled person but has temper tantrums and lashes out at me (always has). He is a Veteran and it seems his tantrums got worse after back from last deployment. 

Anyway. I am filing for divorce and feel OK about that but have zero emotional support thru it all. Not that he ever was any emotional support (or financial or otherwise). He decided we should split the expenses of the house equally ... now its to the point where he wont split the food bill either. Some marriage huh. 

After my mother recently died, he decided that since I "would get an inheritance", he wasnt paying my health insurance anymore either. Chipping away at everything that kept the relationship (if you can call it that) together. There is nothing left. We sleep at opposite times, dont eat together, dont ever do things together. Today we had a "date" for lunch but he ended up screeching at me for some inappropriate infraction of his rules, so I asked to just be taken back home and forget about lunch together. That is when I called a lawyer to schedule a consult for divorce.

I ask God to give me strength and guide me, but its so hard to stay positive and not hurt and mourn a relationship of 16 years.
Can you help me at all?


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Sorry you are here and in need of help.

If he refuses to go to individual and/or marriage counseling, then you should at least go to counseling for yourself. It will help you get through the events. 

Many people get divorced and survive. Learn how to by seeking counseling.


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## h0pe (Oct 29, 2011)

Thx HerToo. I will do that. I just need someone to tell me Im not the crazy/stupid/ugly person that he tells me I am! Oh. and OLD>


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## firzakhan155 (Nov 11, 2011)

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