# Did your gut instinct help you discover evidence?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I was thinking this morning how leading up to DD#2..how my intuition kind of guided me...for a few weeks prior a voice in my head kept telling me I should check H's truck. Then I would think why I am not going to find anything anyway, this thought though kept coming into my head...then one Sunday morning I was up early and was going to the gym and I thought why not check it and lo and behold..under the backseat I discovered a laptop. Needless to say I did not make it to the gym that morning and instead H woke up rather quickly when I turned the light on and said what the hell is this?

My sister was amazed at how my intuition kind of guided me to the evidence...


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## keepmyfamily (Nov 16, 2012)

Yes.

Gut feelings are the one thing you can rely on in life and they should never be ignored.


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## AshS (Jan 11, 2013)

Intuition or higher power...either way I'm gratefull. I felt it in my gut when I first met OW (same day stbxh met her too so A hadn't started) that she was trouble. She wasn't attractive (still isn't IMO) but I had this bad feeling. The next time I saw OW in person I felt the punch in my stomach & I knew I needed to look into things.

That week leading up to my big d-day everynight I would go to bed and ask my deceased grandma to please send me a sign. I had nights where I would wake up at 2am with a thought of where to look next. Sure enough everytime I had these thoughts I would find something.

Look in their cars & trucks!!! I found a stack of pay stubs in his glove box (he was hiding from me what he was really making) & receipts for gifts he had bought OW.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Yup. My gut kept telling me what my brain kept trying to ignore. When my brain went along with my gut I found more than I ever dreamed.


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## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

My gut told me my wife was going to sleep with him within 1 week of her meeting him. She didn't believe me. 3+ months later was my dday.

She's mentioned to me and to our MC more than once how I had said that.

I've asked her "then I've got only one question for you: did I make it happen, or was I right?"

Objectively, she has never been able to answer that question (remorseless STBXWW).

Trust yer gut people.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Ovid said:


> Yup. My gut kept telling me what my brain kept trying to ignore. When my brain went along with my gut I found more than I ever dreamed.


Ditto. If I'd listened to my gut this would have come to a much quicker end one way or another.I will never ignore it again. Never.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Ovid said:


> Yup. My gut kept telling me what my brain kept trying to ignore. When my brain went along with my gut I found more than I ever dreamed.


I've referred to this as the battle between my heart and my head. My heart won out early on, then my brain took over- game ON.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

Before hubs and OW actually "hooked up" and were in EA, I said to him "if I didn't know you loved hockey so much, I would think you were having an affair".

I can only imagine now what he felt that that second....panic, but not scared enough to stop it from escalating.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

But then on one hand, I was thinking during lunch, he probably had that laptop in his truck for about 5 months or so..so why did this voice not tell me sooner to look in this truck?


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

highwood said:


> But then on one hand, I was thinking during lunch, he probably had that laptop in his truck for about 5 months or so..so why did this voice not tell me sooner to look in this truck?


because- like me- your heart was running the show. then your brain took over and - BAM!


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

canttrustu said:


> Ditto. If I'd listened to my gut this would have come to a much quicker end one way or another.I will never ignore it again. Never.


You are so right my gut was telling me for months something was up. Never again I will always listen to my gut.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

yup...

I had a dream a couple of months before he left.

I came out that morning. He was standing in the kitchen when I said, "I had a dream last night you were having an affair with SIL."

He replied, "Just a dream babe."

pfft


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I ignored my gut instincts for 2 years. During that time, my wife and I were having a real rollercoaster relationship. Some really really good times but also some really bad times as well. In hindsight - that was a time when her behaviour made my gut think something was up, but my head convinced me that we were just going through a typical 20 year marriage (two young kids 10 and 8 at the time) rough patch. I always thought we'd be able to work through anything. This was 2008.

Finally, during one of the down periods and when she and the kids went away (on a vacation to her home country - I was to join them one week later) I snooped on her computer, discovered that she had a secret gmail account (which I was able to get into) which had only one chat contact - the POSOM (who had a picture of him holding his 1 year old daughter as his avatar). Anyway went on the vacation, confronted - my wife confessed to this as well as all sorts of other stuff (including lying about her own girlfriends) and when we came back home we began our long, false R. Me, thinking the POSOM was just an EA contact and my wife letting me think this. This was 2010.

But during the false R - my gut kept telling me that something wasn't right. 

So after a long false R, we separated last Sept. My wife confessed that her 2008 EA had actually morphed into a PA in summer 2009, ending that same fall. This seems to make sense as I know the POSOM got re-married in March/April 2010 (yes, he cheated on his first wife during the EA with my wife and then his current wife before marrying her, with my wife).

So the lesson here, besides the fact that I was an idiot for 4 years with respect to what was going on (during her affair and during our false R) is to *LISTEN TO YOUR GUT FEELINGS.*


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

Absolutely 100% The late nite gaming got later. He started chatting on Skype and I just had a feeling.... I wish I wasn't right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AshS (Jan 11, 2013)

highwood said:


> But then on one hand, I was thinking during lunch, he probably had that laptop in his truck for about 5 months or so..so why did this voice not tell me sooner to look in this truck?


Because for some reason you weren't meant to find out about it 5 months earlier. It's a sucky answer to hear at first but I hope it makes sense to you. 
I questioned the same thing when I realized stbxh was probably close to getting caught 2 times before my d-day. On 2 seperate occasions I was out of the house & 2 different family members (one mine, one his we WERE a close family) had walked into our house thinking he was home since his car was in the drive way. Both times he didn't answer when his name was called so the family members left. When it was brought up to him he said "oh I was home I was taking a nap I must have not heard you come in" the other time his excuse was "oh I stepped out for a minute". After my d-day both of these family members thought what I was thinking he probably had her over, if I had found out while I was pregnant the stress could have affected my pregnancy & that's why I wasn't meant to find out then.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

AshS said:


> Because for some reason you weren't meant to find out about it 5 months earlier. It's a sucky answer to hear at first but I hope it makes sense to you.
> I questioned the same thing when I realized stbxh was probably close to getting caught 2 times before my d-day. On 2 seperate occasions I was out of the house & 2 different family members (one mine, one his we WERE a close family) had walked into our house thinking he was home since his car was in the drive way. Both times he didn't answer when his name was called so the family members left. When it was brought up to him he said "oh I was home I was taking a nap I must have not heard you come in" the other time his excuse was "oh I stepped out for a minute". After my d-day both of these family members thought what I was thinking he probably had her over, if I had found out while I was pregnant the stress could have affected my pregnancy & that's why I wasn't meant to find out then.


Thanks Ash....when you think about it that way...I could go back and look at a whole bunch of scenarios.....ouch....nevermind


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Yes gut feeling all the way. It raced through me as I walked in the house from a shopping trip. Spouse was on the couch with a laptop on his lap and his iPad on the seat next to him. I went to sit next to him and he panicked. He didn't know which device to shut down since their chat window was on both. I busted him right then and he was packing a bag within the hour.


Funny, he's a Internet security expert by trade but it was his body language that blew his affair up.


Always follow you gut even when you dread where it will lead you.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

When my STBXH pocket dialed my work extension, left a 4 min message with him and the OW talking, lied about being "friends", I could not ignore my GUT FEELING and being GASLIGHTED...but my gut not easing up, helped me discover his incriminating emails between him and the OW. TRUST YOUR GUT ALWAYS!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Yes, You don't go to bed together, wake up in the middle of the night to find your spouse gone..purse gone, car gone...just gone, only to wake up with your spouse next to you sleeping in bed.

Ones gut is always right, thats what justifies the spying.

Its like if you didn't have lip stick on your collar then I wouldn't need to wire tap you phone and palace cameras in the bedroom.


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

the guy said:


> Its like if you didn't have lip stick on your collar then I wouldn't need to wire tap you phone and palace cameras in the bedroom.


LOL :iagree:


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

My gut told me to check. I won't ever forget that weekend. I was eight months pregnant and the ex wanted to go up to the cottage with me and our oldest son. It would have been nice to go up to the cottage since it would be my last opportunity before the baby came but I decided to stay home and do some sleuthing in private instead. I had a feeling he was cheating on me and past conversations never got a confession out of him. 

I'm glad I found what I found so that I'm no longer being made a fool but I still wish I wasn't right.


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## Louise7 (Nov 8, 2012)

Even after my ex left, I just knew there was more to find than I had already uncovered. My mum kept telling me to look for a black brief case.

Months later I was clearing out the attic and wedged into the roof between two rafters was an old black conference folder belonging to the ex. It seemed empty and I tossed it out into the room. As I did this I noticed there was a split in the lining. Concealed behind the lining was a computer disc. 

I waited until the kids were out, loaded it on my computer and finally discovered the kind of animal my ex was.

Although I knew in my gut that my house hadn't given up all of its secrets, it was my mum who told me what to look for. Most odd as at the time my mum had already been dead for 20 years.


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