# Sad to see



## Parrot_head

This section has the fewest posts.. sigh..
Hopefully there are more success stories that are shown here to show there is happiness in 20 yr + marriages....

My wife and I will be married 20 yrs in June , 2 kids ..1 in university the other next year , she turned 42 this yr so we will most likely be empty nesters in our early / mid 40's..

Our friends , about 3/4 of them are still in relations of 10+ yrs , but some are teetering on collapse.. Still better than the national avg..


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## Gaia

Indeed. Congrats btw. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Parrot_head

Other facts of our 20 yr marriage..

Wife was a sahm.. We wanted that from the start .. I now want to be a SahD..

Kids are excellent in school , My son who started university may likely get an assistant to a professor job because of his marks..

Even though I am self employed 10 + yrs , I always stayed home Sundays.. 

Wife is Xcellent cook.. I have not lost the weight since our first child..

She still laughs at my humor.. 

She has always missed me and cant wait until I get home from work , even on a daily basis..

TBC


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## Gaia

That sounds wonderful parrot! I love reading stories like this. Im wishing you and a few others on here many more years of happiness. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lilith23

Congratulations!  I like to hear successful stories, they inspire me and puts a smile on my face. 

I guess that maybe the best things are rare and hard to achieve. It's normal that relationships has its ups and downs, but many couples might not last when they pass through the downs.

But it makes me smile every time I see an old couple holding hands. It's so sweet, and I believe that affection and love do last.


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## lilith23

Also, maybe we see more posts on other desperate sections since people usually go to forums for help, while the happy ones usually don't feel the need to go to forums.


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## Michael A. Brown

Good to know that you would able to maintain the strong bond of your marriage for a long time.


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## Parrot_head

Its been pretty good.. Wine helps:toast:


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## waiwera

Nice posting parrot_head


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## Athena1

Great to hear, I'd love to hear more! 

It seems natural that this section would have the least posts, since most people probably find this forum because they are looking to fix something. When our relationships are working well, we don't tend to worry about learning more about it! 

Anyways, really great to hear. And I would love to hear more about it.


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## Mavash.

I'm happily married - 21 years now. I don't post on this section because people come here for help not to read happy stories.

We got off track which was why I found TAM. I stick around to help others and because yes this forum is addicting. LOL


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## ChknNoodleSoup

Aw! I want that too. Congrats.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *Mavash said*: I don't post in this section because people come here for help not to read happy stories.


I did a happy post on here .... sappy / romantic / hand in hand stuff ..... then Mavash posted this right after....I suddenly felt this sense of embarrassment - like I am uncaring, braggish... so I immediately deleted it. I don't believe it was personal in any way - but she probably has a point and many DO feel this way. 

A question for you all ......

It is more







and a sense of







when you read of others HAPPY experiences / marriages and / or thrilling fireworks sex lives here on TAM ? 

I never forgot this thread by Romantic Guy - he felt almost guilty talking about the GOOD in his marriage because of all the pain spilled here ... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/39436-so-sad.html

I know even for me, I find myself *envious* reading certain posts ...we probably all have our triggers....but yet... I love the openness, the stories of overcoming, and the sharing of the good too.


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## Parrot_head

I feel no guilt posting this really , We have our issues as many do , but we find a way to fix things.. We try to never go to bed angry is one thing we do.. Don't get me wrong .. We have our bad times as well , but overall I do not regret anything..


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## CH

If you have a great relationship, you don't need to come to these boards


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## TCSRedhead

I love these kinds of stories - it gives hope.


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## SimplyAmorous

Parrot_head said:


> I feel no guilt posting this really , We have our issues as many do , but we find a way to fix things.. We try to never go to bed angry is one thing we do.. Don't get me wrong .. We have our bad times as well , but overall I do not regret anything..


We are like you Parrot_head....we try to never let the sun go down on our anger...(ya know a scripture says that ~ Ephesians 4:26).... I would say maybe 2-3 times in 23 yrs. I simply can't sleep if we are  

We are both utterly miserable & worthless to anyone when we are at odds... but in it's own way...this is helpful...as it brings us together - so we'll deal with it, get it all out & find our "Peace" again. Everybody has times of conflict.


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## Caribbean Man

Parrot_head said:


> * We have our issues as many do , but we find a way to fix things*..


^^^^^^^^^
This is our mantra.
And we have been married for 17 years.
What we have together is the most important thing to both of us.

Congrats on your marriage, and congrats on your son's prospect in university.
He must be really making you guys really PROUD!


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## life101

Congrats! Good to see you make each other happy.


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## jaquen

SimplyAmorous said:


> *We are both utterly miserable & worthless to anyone when we are at odds...* but in it's own way...this is helpful...as it brings us together - so we'll deal with it, get it all out & find our "Peace" again. Everybody has times of conflict.


So are we! Sometimes it just makes me sick LOL, like we just need to get over ourselves. But no, if we have a deep enough disagreement (and the word is disagreement, because my wife never argues), and things don't feel settled with us, it throws both of us completely off. We walk around all in a funk, all butt hurt over not being on the same accord.

We're such dorks in love sometimes.


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## Deejo

If you have a successful marriage, we need you on these boards.


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## Dewayne76

Deejo said:


> If you have a successful marriage, we need you on these boards.


:iagree:


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## SimplyAmorous

jaquen said:


> So are we! Sometimes it just makes me sick LOL, like we just need to get over ourselves. But no, if we have a deep enough disagreement (and the word is disagreement, because my wife never argues), and things don't feel settled with us, it throws both of us completely off. We walk around all in a funk, all butt hurt over not being on the same accord.
> 
> We're such dorks in love sometimes.


Oh Jaquen, should I be surprised you & wife are similar ~ can't say I am







...


.... Even if I slam a door to get away from him, trying to act all angry in the moment..(I generally start these stupid conflicts, over something I might be worried about).... I generally can't stay away longer than 20 minutes & end up marching right back to him.... cause I am miserable.....I can see the corner of a  on his face when I open the door..... even if he tries to hide it.... then I start smiling..(a softening started between us)...... I end up telling him ..."damn it, I'm so pathetic, I can't stay the hell away from you!!" (of course he likes this weakness in me)....he just eats that right up.... so we talk some more... we get it all out... then we're back in each others arms.... Storm over, the sun is shining again.









We've always been able to laugh about our fights ~ after the fact. 

My husband thinks one of the biggest problems in marriages is when we are too stubborn to admit we are wrong. We both try to be humble here... even me.


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## Parrot_head

I have been awol for a while..

I want to add my wife has had OCD her whole life. She is petrifed of infection/disease . Not for herself , but the kids..
3 yrs ago one of our friends mentioned that her brother got HIV from possibly a blood transfusion many years ago . After My wife heard that , she shut down completely. The summer of 2010 was particularly bad as she would not leave the bedroom for weeks.

It was so bad one time that after my son had a haircut , she was thinking that "what if " the person cutting the hair had HIV , and somehow it go onto a cut on his head.. etc..etc..
That was when she completely shut down . The only way I could get her out was that she insisted he get an aids test..
So I said ok , after that it was like she was a new person. The problem was the next haircut .. the next dentist appointment .. you know what Im getting at..

I had to password the intenet because all she did was search what ifs all day..


It was the most difficult time of our marriage forsure. 
We went to the doctor and after that episode it was treated..

She has now been medicated for over a year and she is completely a new person , no worries . No problems.
The only one was weight gain , she did tack on about 50 pounds in a very short while. If you search through my old posts spread on this message board , you will see mention of this . It still does not bother me as much as it does her . I still find her extremely sexy and attractive. She is the best thing that ever happened to me along with my 2 kids..

This post is here because although there is much goodness in our marriage , sometimes you have major bumps as well..

I also want to add , to both of us sex is very important. We are both HD , even though she is on SSRI meds.. I cant imagine what her drive would be if she was not. 
When people say sex isn't that important, I believe it's not true.

This June 12th is our 21st anniversary , I cannot imagine myself with anyone else...ever


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## Parrot_head

This guys should be posting in this topic..

A Letter From Fred - "Oh Sweet Lorraine" An Amazing Song Written by 96 year-old! - YouTube


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## Parrot_head

Hi Everyone , Just want to put something out there that just came to me..

Every morning in bed , before I go to work , we embrace for a good 1/2 hour ..

We have been doing this as long as I can remember.. It feels really good when we are both naked :ezpi_wink1:.. But we do it either way ..

I can't remember the last time we didn't embrace before we got up from bed..

a small thing to ponder .. It will strengthen your bond IMO


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## SimplyAmorous

Parrot_head said:


> Hi Everyone , Just want to put something out there that just came to me..
> 
> Every morning in bed , before I go to work , we embrace for a good 1/2 hour ..
> 
> We have been doing this as long as I can remember.. It feels really good when we are both naked :ezpi_wink1:.. But we do it either way ..
> 
> I can't remember the last time we didn't embrace before we got up from bed..
> 
> a small thing to ponder .. It will strengthen your bond IMO


That's a good habit to get into ... my husband sets his alarm a little early just so he can jump back in bed & we hold each other - maybe 10 minutes longer.. I've always felt very loved by this...and have told him so...

A great way to start the day... lying in each others arms..


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## ConanHub

Parrot_head said:


> Hi Everyone , Just want to put something out there that just came to me..
> 
> Every morning in bed , before I go to work , we embrace for a good 1/2 hour ..
> 
> We have been doing this as long as I can remember.. It feels really good when we are both naked :ezpi_wink1:.. But we do it either way ..
> 
> I can't remember the last time we didn't embrace before we got up from bed..
> 
> a small thing to ponder .. It will strengthen your bond IMO


I love it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Luvher4life

I haven't posted here because of respect for those others that don't have it so good. I mean, I see so many people that have broken marriages that it really bothers me. I've been through some tumultuous relationships before my wife, and I can relate to some of the problems others are having. I look back now, and think to myself, "If I would've married .... , I would likely be having some of these same problems." Thank God I didn't!

I was growing tired of searching for a woman in all the wrong places, so I joined a dating service, hoping that might help me find the "one". It was a service where you described yourself, what you were looking for, and what you were hoping to find in a date. Then, if they wanted to talk to you they could leave a voicemail for you return their call. After several dates that didn't lead anywhere, I had all but given up. I even cancelled my subscription to the dating service. Fortunately, they still kept me on file for a few weeks.

That's when it happened. A promising young lady liked what she heard and wanted me to call her if I was still looking. I called her back, and we talked and laughed on the phone for over 4 hours long distance. It was like we had known each other our whole lives! We decided to meet, and we were both like, "Wow!" We were immediately attracted to each other. Not only that, we could talk about any and everything because we felt so comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we communicated on a level that I had never thought was possible. We only dated for about 2-1/2 months before we were married. That's how sure we were!

We have now been married for a little over 19 years, with two daughters. We have been through some trying times, but we were both committed to making our marriage work. We're like two newlyweds that can't get enough of each other even after 19+ years. We hug each other, hold hands, kiss, and we say "I love you" no matter where we are. I have often been asked how do we do it after so many years. I always tell them because we are best friends who communicate, and actually DO love each other. If they persist, I tell them we have lots of really good sex.


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## Parrot_head

Luvher4life said:


> I haven't posted here because of respect for those others that don't have it so good. I mean, I see so many people that have broken marriages that it really bothers me. I've been through some tumultuous relationships before my wife, and I can relate to some of the problems others are having. I look back now, and think to myself, "If I would've married .... , I would likely be having some of these same problems." Thank God I didn't!
> 
> I was growing tired of searching for a woman in all the wrong places, so I joined a dating service, hoping that might help me find the "one". It was a service where you described yourself, what you were looking for, and what you were hoping to find in a date. Then, if they wanted to talk to you they could leave a voicemail for you return their call. After several dates that didn't lead anywhere, I had all but given up. I even cancelled my subscription to the dating service. Fortunately, they still kept me on file for a few weeks.
> 
> That's when it happened. A promising young lady liked what she heard and wanted me to call her if I was still looking. I called her back, and we talked and laughed on the phone for over 4 hours long distance. It was like we had known each other our whole lives! We decided to meet, and we were both like, "Wow!" We were immediately attracted to each other. Not only that, we could talk about any and everything because we felt so comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we communicated on a level that I had never thought was possible. We only dated for about 2-1/2 months before we were married. That's how sure we were!
> 
> We have now been married for a little over 19 years, with two daughters. We have been through some trying times, but we were both committed to making our marriage work. We're like two newlyweds that can't get enough of each other even after 19+ years. We hug each other, hold hands, kiss, and we say "I love you" no matter where we are. I have often been asked how do we do it after so many years. I always tell them because we are best friends who communicate, and actually DO love each other. If they persist, I tell them we have lots of really good sex.



What a great story , I am glad for you ..! Sex helps ..


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## jb02157

If you consider, though, all those who are in a 20+ year marriage as I am, but are trapped in the marriage and can't get out due to what would happen to finances in a divorce, the numbers drop off even more. If men were allowed to get divorced just as easily as women can, I think you would be very hard pressed to have any marriage last more than 20 years. Our's definitely wouldn't have lasted.


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## MattMatt

jb02157 said:


> If you consider, though, all those who are in a 20+ year marriage as I am, but are trapped in the marriage and can't get out due to what would happen to finances in a divorce, the numbers drop off even more. If men were allowed to get divorced just as easily as women can, I think you would be very hard pressed to have any marriage last more than 20 years. Our's definitely wouldn't have lasted.


Perhaps the answer is to make divorce harder for everyone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sun Catcher

We have 3 morning alarms, first one is so we can commence "the cuddle", second one (half hour later) is when he should get up and start getting ready but if "the cuddle" has developed into something further, then we have alarm number 3 which means, now you have to move quickly or be late! 

I wouldn't be able to start the day without the cuddle.:laugh:


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## jb02157

MattMatt said:


> Perhaps the answer is to make divorce harder for everyone?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Agreed, at least level the playing field so that if a woman wants to get divorced, she has the same financial considerations to navigate and can't count on a man to provide money to her for the rest of her life.


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## EllisRedding

jb02157 said:


> If you consider, though, all those who are in a 20+ year marriage as I am, but are trapped in the marriage and can't get out due to what would happen to finances in a divorce, the numbers drop off even more. If men were allowed to get divorced just as easily as women can, I think you would be very hard pressed to have any marriage last more than 20 years. Our's definitely wouldn't have lasted.


Do you know if there are studies that show most 20+ year marriages are only in existence b/c the spouse feels trapped? Just seems a bit grim to imply that most long term marriages are only in existence due to unfavorable circumstances.


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## jb02157

EllisRedding said:


> Do you know if there are studies that show most 20+ year marriages are only in existence b/c the spouse feels trapped? Just seems a bit grim to imply that most long term marriages are only in existence due to unfavorable circumstances.


Grim but true in my experience. I don't know of any study that has any data about this but I would think that the data would be skewed since alot of people wouldn't be telling the truth. I would be interesting to see data on this.


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## Luvher4life

EllisRedding is right. The vast majority of 20+ year marriages that I know of are very happy ones, usually being very obvious happy ones.

It's sad that there are those people that are staying married because the alternative is worse. Life is much, much too short to not be happy. Either work on making the marriage better, or move on, and that works for both spouses. Is she not willing to do her part? Either way, it's time to have the "talk", and the follow through if necessary, in my opinion.


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## EllisRedding

jb02157 said:


> Grim but true in my experience. I don't know of any study that has any data about this but I would think that the data would be skewed since alot of people wouldn't be telling the truth. I would be interesting to see data on this.


Thanks, I definitely understand with your experience. For me I have seen many people have happy/long marriages (from what I can tell of course) and others that didn't last (my parents got divorced probably close to the 20 yr mark). It would be interesting if people were truly honest how many would walk away from their marriage if they could easily without any repercussions.


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## jb02157

EllisRedding said:


> Thanks, I definitely understand with your experience. For me I have seen many people have happy/long marriages (from what I can tell of course) and others that didn't last (my parents got divorced probably close to the 20 yr mark). It would be interesting if people were truly honest how many would walk away from their marriage if they could easily without any repercussions.


I think the problem is definitely in the "repercussions". A marriage that has lasted that long easily has many areas that would be affected, life styles, careers, retirement, health care just to name a few. You can't easily end a marriage at this point without affecting all of them and so to not affect all these things you just put up the negative situations in the marriage. Also for men, the longer you wait, the more you owe your ex. If you all of the sudden took away all those considerations I would think alot of people would jump at the opportunity. This is why people aren't getting married these days, they have the flexibility to end a relationship without paying anybody anything. I sure wish I had that option now.


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## Married but Happy

Stats are hard to come by, but


> Divorce Author: “I Think 17% Of Marriages Are Happy.” Dana Adam Shapiro says talking to people about their divorces actually made him more optimistic about marriage — but he still thinks truly happy ones are in the minority.


( http://www.buzzfeed.com/annanorth/divorce-author-i-think-17-of-marriages-are-happ )

This agrees with a number (20%) that I read about years ago in a study of long term marriages - of those still together after 20+ years, about a fifth are quite happy in their marriages. That implies most range from very unhappy to content, and if normal distributions apply, then the majority are in the "good enough to stay and not bad enough to leave" category.


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## jb02157

Married but Happy said:


> Stats are hard to come by, but
> 
> ( http://www.buzzfeed.com/annanorth/divorce-author-i-think-17-of-marriages-are-happ )
> 
> This agrees with a number (20%) that I read about years ago in a study of long term marriages - of those still together after 20+ years, about a fifth are quite happy in their marriages. That implies most range from very unhappy to content, and if normal distributions apply, then the majority are in the "good enough to stay and not bad enough to leave" category.


However in this case normal distributions do NOT apply. There is significant financial pressure put on men to make them stay in the marriage even though they don't want to. If you take that away, I think you're probably looking at 10% or less are truly happy.


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## Married but Happy

^ Yeah, you're right - the financial pressures may indeed create an abnormal distribution, and coincidentally may prevent some women from leaving an unhappy marriage too. That would make the "not good enough to stay but can't afford to leave" category much larger.


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## Parrot_head

Hi Everyone!

I have been off the message boards for a while due to various things..



I am going to try and read some of the threads and see if I can help out

Some health issues have arisen for me and I have to take it easy ..
Put my mom in a home this week as her dementia is difficult for us to live with ..
I am close to my mom but not affectionate if that makes sense..

When I went to see her , I broke down and cried ..hugged her longer than I ever have done in my 50 year life..





On a more positive note ..
I'm glad to say , We will be hitting our 25th anniversary in the next 2 weeks!

Nothing has changed
Im still crazy for my wife ...

Got her a 25th anniversary diamond ring and having it engraved ..
Still unsure what to put..

Am thinking 

To 25 More Love W____


Maybe some thought from you fine folks..

Take care !


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## happyhusband0005

Parrot_head said:


> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I have been off the message boards for a while due to various things..
> 
> 
> 
> I am going to try and read some of the threads and see if I can help out
> 
> Some health issues have arisen for me and I have to take it easy ..
> Put my mom in a home this week as her dementia is difficult for us to live with ..
> I am close to my mom but not affectionate if that makes sense..
> 
> When I went to see her , I broke down and cried ..hugged her longer than I ever have done in my 50 year life..
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> On a more positive note ..
> I'm glad to say , We will be hitting our 25th anniversary in the next 2 weeks!
> 
> Nothing has changed
> Im still crazy for my wife ...
> 
> Got her a 25th anniversary diamond ring and having it engraved ..
> Still unsure what to put..
> 
> Am thinking
> 
> To 25 More Love W____
> 
> 
> Maybe some thought from you fine folks..
> 
> Take care !


Hi Parrot, I'm glad you posted and brought this thread back to life. First let me say I know how difficult dealing with a loved one with dementia can be, my wife's grandmother suffered for years, and really needed to be in a home with a very good staff to care for her. So I feel for you.

I have had a hard time relating to a lot of the issues here but try to give advice from my more positive perspective. I hope it can be helpful for people like us to be here to say happiness is possible and love can conquer all. I also think what I have discovered is that we have been lucky in that all people change over time, for those of us in happy marriages, I think we have grown together with our spouses while some couples grow apart. My Wife and I began dating in high school and have been together for 26 years, married 16 years last week. We grew together and I can honestly say we have never had more than minor arguments since we got married. I would say more than anything we have been very lucky. We just fit together perfectly. In our lives it has always been us, what's good for her is good for me and vive versa. We have always seen each others happiness as the key to our own. 

When I was finishing college (6 year degree) and she had graduated already she had the opportunity to move to London (we live in the states). She made a 1 week trip to meet the people she would be working with and in that week she felt very lonely. She was going to turn it down, but I knew it would be great for her in her personal growth to I talked her into going. Well it ended up being the best decision of her life. She got to travel through all of Europe made some really great friends we still go visit today and really grew as a person personally and professionally. She is still grateful to this day that I convinced her to do it. It wasn't to my benefit to have my girlfriend an ocean away but it was about her happiness and her having an opportunity of a lifetime. 

That has been our motto in our relationship, trust and support. When I decided to start developing commercial real estate 10 years ago, it was going to require me putting every single dollar we had on the line and we had just had a baby. I knew I had a talent but was still very nervous because of the risk. She gave me the confidence and support to do it. That was the best decision of my life and our family has benefited greatly. 

I tell these two little stories because they represent the main reason for our success. We both equate the others happiness to our own. If she is stressed out or down so I am so the two of us put forth the effort to get out of that state. 

About half of marriages end in divorce and of the marriages that don't not all are happy, so in reality truly happy marriages are the minority. 

some things we do that keep us together and happy.

1. We are very affectionate with each other, we really pass each other without a quick hug or a kiss.
2. We communicate about everything openly and honestly. There is no subject that is out of bounds.
3. We do little things for each other for no particular reason at all. If I know she has been online window 
shopping i might sneak onto her computer and buy what ever she added to her shopping cart without 
her knowing, the UPS guy just shows up with it in a few days. Stuff like that
4. We give each other our own time. I might take the kids off for a night so she can have the whole house 
to herself have friends over for drinks. Just time to decompress and unwind.
5. Since I graduated from college we have never gone more than 3 days with out sex. One exception was 
when she had a complication during a pregnancy and we were both to paranoid to have piv sex until the 
baby was born. 
6. We compromise as a rule. 
7. We have date nights every week, and take a few trips a year just the two of us. If the grandparents 
want to take the kids for the weekend we let them.

There's a million little things and they are things we just do, we don't have a checklist we follow it's just how we live. Every day we wake up we love each other a little more. 

I like the inscription you have, Simple and clear. I have seen one before that was A Diamond is for ever and so are we. But that is too long for a ring I think. 

Keep on keeping on.


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## Texican

PH
Thanks for posting this. It is good to read of other couples who have been together for long times.

Ms. gamboolgal and I are approaching our 37th anniversary.

It seems like the blink of a GD eye when I saw her for the first time......in Deep East Texas....
I can/do recall most everything on that day, Saturday, 13-Jan-79.

The chair she was sitting in when I walked into the living room, her posture, the colors of the sweater she had on, the color of her pants, and the look in her eye's when I looked into her eye's for the first time.

I was gut hooked deep from that instant.

We were inseparable from that moment on and married right at 3 year later.

My regrets are the things I have said and/or done to hurt her feelings.... boys and boys in mens bodies will do some dumb assszzzzz stuff for sure.

Ms. gamboolgal has followed me all over the world as I have been in the oilpatch from age 18. We moved 14 times the 1st 20 year of marriage....go to the job or go to hell.... We have been working international permanent married accompanied basis in Africa for 15+ years in not so nice locations.....no one vacations where we work....

As long as we are together we are happy.... That is one thing working international has taught us... home is being together with the lady you love. Nothing else matters too much.

While I will always see her in my minds eye as a barely 17 year old babe.... That was then and this is now....She is more beautiful to me now than ever....

I am thankful that I have been able to share life, living, loving and growing old together with her.

God willing, when I retire from the oilfield next year we'll have many more years for me to chase her around the house neckid.....

Lifes a Dance and You Learn As You Go....

gamboolman....


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## Parrot_head

happyhusband0005 said:


> Hi Parrot, I'm glad you posted and brought this thread back to life. First let me say I know how difficult dealing with a loved one with dementia can be, my wife's grandmother suffered for years, and really needed to be in a home with a very good staff to care for her. So I feel for you.
> 
> I have had a hard time relating to a lot of the issues here but try to give advice from my more positive perspective. I hope it can be helpful for people like us to be here to say happiness is possible and love can conquer all. I also think what I have discovered is that we have been lucky in that all people change over time, for those of us in happy marriages, I think we have grown together with our spouses while some couples grow apart. My Wife and I began dating in high school and have been together for 26 years, married 16 years last week. We grew together and I can honestly say we have never had more than minor arguments since we got married. I would say more than anything we have been very lucky. We just fit together perfectly. In our lives it has always been us, what's good for her is good for me and vive versa. We have always seen each others happiness as the key to our own.
> 
> When I was finishing college (6 year degree) and she had graduated already she had the opportunity to move to London (we live in the states). She made a 1 week trip to meet the people she would be working with and in that week she felt very lonely. She was going to turn it down, but I knew it would be great for her in her personal growth to I talked her into going. Well it ended up being the best decision of her life. She got to travel through all of Europe made some really great friends we still go visit today and really grew as a person personally and professionally. She is still grateful to this day that I convinced her to do it. It wasn't to my benefit to have my girlfriend an ocean away but it was about her happiness and her having an opportunity of a lifetime.
> 
> That has been our motto in our relationship, trust and support. When I decided to start developing commercial real estate 10 years ago, it was going to require me putting every single dollar we had on the line and we had just had a baby. I knew I had a talent but was still very nervous because of the risk. She gave me the confidence and support to do it. That was the best decision of my life and our family has benefited greatly.
> 
> I tell these two little stories because they represent the main reason for our success. We both equate the others happiness to our own. If she is stressed out or down so I am so the two of us put forth the effort to get out of that state.
> 
> About half of marriages end in divorce and of the marriages that don't not all are happy, so in reality truly happy marriages are the minority.
> 
> some things we do that keep us together and happy.
> 
> 1. We are very affectionate with each other, we really pass each other without a quick hug or a kiss.
> 2. We communicate about everything openly and honestly. There is no subject that is out of bounds.
> 3. We do little things for each other for no particular reason at all. If I know she has been online window
> shopping i might sneak onto her computer and buy what ever she added to her shopping cart without
> her knowing, the UPS guy just shows up with it in a few days. Stuff like that
> 4. We give each other our own time. I might take the kids off for a night so she can have the whole house
> to herself have friends over for drinks. Just time to decompress and unwind.
> 5. Since I graduated from college we have never gone more than 3 days with out sex. One exception was
> when she had a complication during a pregnancy and we were both to paranoid to have piv sex until the
> baby was born.
> 6. We compromise as a rule.
> 7. We have date nights every week, and take a few trips a year just the two of us. If the grandparents
> want to take the kids for the weekend we let them.
> 
> There's a million little things and they are things we just do, we don't have a checklist we follow it's just how we live. Every day we wake up we love each other a little more.
> 
> I like the inscription you have, Simple and clear. I have seen one before that was A Diamond is for ever and so are we. But that is too long for a ring I think.
> 
> Keep on keeping on.



So many good things you have stated apply to us as well! ( sex part especially )

people are focused on money , more and more.. I see it everywhere 
My parents saved , saved , saved

Rarely went on trips.. planned on going later in life
bad Health took it away from them..

I have always did family trips , and my kids have memories 
I have and always go away twice a year with my wife , we rent private houses in places like the muskokas in Canada and Pensacola beach .. We love it there

Thanks for all that you've wrote !


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## Parrot_head

Texican said:


> PH
> Thanks for posting this. It is good to read of other couples who have been together for long times.
> 
> Ms. gamboolgal and I are approaching our 37th anniversary.
> 
> It seems like the blink of a GD eye when I saw her for the first time......in Deep East Texas....
> I can/do recall most everything on that day, Saturday, 13-Jan-79.
> 
> The chair she was sitting in when I walked into the living room, her posture, the colors of the sweater she had on, the color of her pants, and the look in her eye's when I looked into her eye's for the first time.
> 
> I was gut hooked deep from that instant.
> 
> We were inseparable from that moment on and married right at 3 year later.
> 
> My regrets are the things I have said and/or done to hurt her feelings.... boys and boys in mens bodies will do some dumb assszzzzz stuff for sure.
> 
> Ms. gamboolgal has followed me all over the world as I have been in the oilpatch from age 18. We moved 14 times the 1st 20 year of marriage....go to the job or go to hell.... We have been working international permanent married accompanied basis in Africa for 15+ years in not so nice locations.....no one vacations where we work....
> 
> As long as we are together we are happy.... That is one thing working international has taught us... home is being together with the lady you love. Nothing else matters too much.
> 
> While I will always see her in my minds eye as a barely 17 year old babe.... That was then and this is now....She is more beautiful to me now than ever....
> 
> I am thankful that I have been able to share life, living, loving and growing old together with her.
> 
> God willing, when I retire from the oilfield next year we'll have many more years for me to chase her around the house neckid.....
> 
> Lifes a Dance and You Learn As You Go....
> 
> gamboolman....




You are Beautiful people!.. 
She is still a beauty ! Glad to hear you will retire soon ..

Blue label lol 


Thanks for your contribution!


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## Parrot_head

Parrot_head said:


> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I have been off the message boards for a while due to various things..
> 
> 
> 
> I am going to try and read some of the threads and see if I can help out
> 
> Some health issues have arisen for me and I have to take it easy ..
> Put my mom in a home this week as her dementia is difficult for us to live with ..
> I am close to my mom but not affectionate if that makes sense..
> 
> When I went to see her , I broke down and cried ..hugged her longer than I ever have done in my 50 year life..
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> On a more positive note ..
> I'm glad to say , We will be hitting our 25th anniversary in the next 2 weeks!
> 
> Nothing has changed
> Im still crazy for my wife ...
> 
> Got her a 25th anniversary diamond ring and having it engraved ..
> Still unsure what to put..
> 
> Am thinking
> 
> To 25 More Love W____
> 
> 
> Maybe some thought from you fine folks..
> 
> Take care !


I ended up engraving 

" time flies love stays "

Looking forward to our celebration in Niagara on the lake next week ( her absolute favorite place )


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## happyhusband0005

Parrot_head said:


> I ended up engraving
> 
> " time flies love stays "
> 
> Looking forward to our celebration in Niagara on the lake next week ( her absolute favorite place )


Love it!!


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