# Seeking Scriptural Advice



## sparky2263 (Oct 11, 2016)

I am seeking some scriptural advice on a recent event that happened in my marriage. 

My wife of 11 years accepted an invitation from a co-worker to go to a concert. The co-worker isn't somebody I know, and I don't know if she is christian or what her values are. I also think she is single. I didn't like the situation from the beginning but my wife had decided she was going. The day of concert came and she left at 4 pm in the afternoon and didn't return home till sometime between 1 am and 2 am the following morning. She returned intoxicated. I was not happy. The next day we barely spoke to each other, and finally she asked why I was acting the way I was, I replied that I was very upset with her for her behavior and that I did not approve of it. She accused me of pushing her away and not trusting her. We have barely spoken to each since.

I don't know what to do???? I want to know everything that happened that night but I don't know how to get her to tell me. I've asked her and she won't open up to me about it. Does anyone have any life and/or scriptural advice they can offer?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Has she ever done anything like this before?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Ask her how she would feel if you did the same thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

sparky2263 said:


> I am seeking some scriptural advice on a recent event that happened in my marriage.
> 
> My wife of 11 years accepted an invitation from a co-worker to go to a concert. The co-worker isn't somebody I know, and I don't know if she is christian or what her values are. I also think she is single. I didn't like the situation from the beginning but my wife had decided she was going. The day of concert came and she left at 4 pm in the afternoon and didn't return home till sometime between 1 am and 2 am the following morning. She returned intoxicated. I was not happy. The next day we barely spoke to each other, and finally she asked why I was acting the way I was, I replied that I was very upset with her for her behavior and that I did not approve of it. She accused me of pushing her away and not trusting her. We have barely spoken to each since.
> 
> I don't know what to do???? I want to know everything that happened that night but I don't know how to get her to tell me. I've asked her and she won't open up to me about it. Does anyone have any life and/or scriptural advice they can offer?


How old is your wife. I don't think you need to have scriptural backup to set up boundaries in your relationship. Is this an ongoing thing or a rare one time thing.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

If she says that she is a christian and she came back drunk, she's obviously having problems. I think that sooner or later she's going to blame that fact that she did what she did on you, to get back at you for something you did. My wife does the same thing. She claims to be christian but has recently taken up swearing. She blames it on me, saying that if I wasn't the way I was she wouldn't have been forced to do it. Beats me how this is at all logical but...


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## BradWesley2 (Jul 15, 2016)

sparky2263 said:


> I am seeking some scriptural advice on a recent event that happened in my marriage.
> 
> My wife of 11 years accepted an invitation from a co-worker to go to a concert. The co-worker isn't somebody I know, and I don't know if she is christian or what her values are. I also think she is single. I didn't like the situation from the beginning but my wife had decided she was going. The day of concert came and she left at 4 pm in the afternoon and didn't return home till sometime between 1 am and 2 am the following morning. She returned intoxicated. I was not happy. The next day we barely spoke to each other, and finally she asked why I was acting the way I was, I replied that I was very upset with her for her behavior and that I did not approve of it. She accused me of pushing her away and not trusting her. We have barely spoken to each since.
> 
> I don't know what to do???? I want to know everything that happened that night but I don't know how to get her to tell me. I've asked her and she won't open up to me about it. Does anyone have any life and/or scriptural advice they can offer?


I notice you're new here. You might want to ask one of the mods to move your thread to the Politics and Religion forum.
You may get more responses there.

The mods include EleGirl, farsidejunky, MattMatt, and MEM2020.
Best to private message (PM) any one of them to have your thread moved.

Welcome aboard.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

sparky2263 said:


> I don't know what to do???? I want to know everything that happened that night but I don't know how to get her to tell me. I've asked her and she won't open up to me about it. Does anyone have any life and/or scriptural advice they can offer?


As far as advice drawn from life experience, you are right that this is communication problem needs to be addressed. She might think that you are too rigid and controlling (I'm not saying that you are) and is lashing out because she is tired of it. You might want to very calmly that you want her to tell you what she is thinking/doing and that you will listen without any interruptions. Give yourself time to respond to whatever she tells you. 

As you might imagine, the bible doesn't have a lot of scripture regarding wives being able to go to concerts with their friends. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 seems to indicate that she wouldn't have much say in the matter.


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## Manchester (Oct 7, 2016)

Why do you need to give her the silent treatment and stew for a day or so and wait for her to ask you what's wrong before you tell her what's wrong rather then just telling her what's wrong immediately?

That passive aggressive childish nonsense is going to destroy your relationship if it's not already gone.

Do you often do this? Could be the root of the problem right there.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

Weren't you uncomfortable with her going out with someone whom you didn't know, but trust strangers here? Wouldn't asking advice of a church elder or a trusted friend who you know shares your same beliefs?


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