# What do you think about this reddit post ?



## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

Here is what I think. Your struggles and worries are none of your wife’s business and as a grown man, you must be 100 percent self reliant and if you need help, it shouldn’t be up to her to find a set of resources to help you. You should be able to help yourself. 

Sure, you don’t have to be perfect but you better be independent and self reliant. When you moved out of your parents house, got your college degree and started your career, that means you are financially and emotionally independent and should be able to be on your own with nobody by your side. Only rely on yourself. If you were in that reddit comment section I would tell you to not listen to this poster but what do you think ? 


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Here is what I think. Your struggles and worries are none of your wife’s business and as a grown man, you must be 100 percent self reliant and if you need help, it shouldn’t be up to her to find a set of resources to help you. You should be able to help yourself.
> 
> Sure, you don’t have to be perfect but you better be independent and self reliant. When you moved out of your parents house, got your college degree and started your career, that means you are financially and emotionally independent and should be able to be on your own with nobody by your side. Only rely on yourself. If you were in that reddit comment section I would tell you to not listen to this poster but what do you think ?
> 
> ...


I think you and @vintagetriplex hang out together.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

just curious do you also believe a woman's place is in the home and not out in the working world? or that children should be be seen and not heard. you are entitled to your opinion but there is no reason you can't be self reliant and independent and still communicative with your spouse on matters that may impact the relationship, finances and or lifestyle, keep your spouse in the dark of issues that you are dealing with but not talking about will eventually cause tension between you two, she will like you don't trust her to open up too and lead to other issues.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

So, if you were running your own business, but it wasn't doing too well due to one reason or another.
Would you pretend to your wife that it was still doing well when she asked, or would you tell her that it was none of her business?

How far would you take this secret? To the point that you are about to lose your cars/house/lifestyle/business etc, and she finds out from the bailiffs instead of you?
I realise that you probably won't entertain the idea that you would lose out financially during your lifetime, but I'm curious as to how far you take this idea of yours. As noble as it seems in some ways, it could impact your wife in ways you haven't accounted for. There might come a time in your life that a solution might involve a change to the family lifestyle.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> _*If you were in that reddit comment section I would tell you to not listen to this poster but what do you think ?*_


LOL..Reddit is where I spend most of my 'message board' time nowadays, but the "Christian Marriage" sub would make my brain bleed. 😂 It reminds me of having to sit through an hour of The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie. Ugh.

You ask what we think about the original post and your opinion of it?

I think I was right not to join the Christian Marriage sub on Reddit, that's what I officially think. 😃


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

So I believe as a man your wife should be like a best friend. For her and you for her. If that's true she knows everything of you you of her. But if you have this in your marriage she will know when to help you and when to let you solve your problems on your own. JMO


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

fulltimecaca said:


> Here is what I think. Your struggles and worries are none of your wife’s business and as a grown man, you must be 100 percent self reliant and if you need help, it shouldn’t be up to her to find a set of resources to help you. You should be able to help yourself.



Yep. That's what I think, too. Every time I have gone to my wife for "help", I totally regret it. I should have kept my mouth shut. Because all I got was criticism, complaining, many words, and no "help"....

Elvis had it right ...."....a little less conversation, and a little more action...."...

She is completely disinterested in DOING anything which would help ..... (like, get a job, earn another 50 grand yearly) .... her conclusion is always that "...you need to talk to somebody..."


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

TJW said:


> Yep. That's what I think, too. Every time I have gone to my wife for "help", I totally regret it. I should have kept my mouth shut. Because all I got was criticism, complaining, many words, and no "help"....
> 
> Elvis had it right ...."....a little less conversation, and a little more action...."...
> 
> She is completely disinterested in DOING anything which would help ..... (like, get a job, earn another 50 grand yearly) .... her conclusion is always that "...you need to talk to somebody..."


Yeah you are right. Don’t ever listen to people telling you otherwise. 
Females are not trust worthy like that. 
It’s better to help yourself and keep your mouth shut. 


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Sounds like you need to marry better women.


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

Tasorundo said:


> Sounds like you need to marry better women.


They are all the same. 


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> If you were in that reddit comment section I would tell you to not listen to this poster but what do you think ?


I would say that he's right and anyone who thinks otherwise either:

Has problems within themselves and is destined for a ****ty marriage with that attitude, or
Has a ****ty wife that needs replacing.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Tasorundo said:


> Sounds like you need to marry better women.


Correct.



fulltimecaca said:


> They are all the same.


🤦‍♂️


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> They are all the same.


Nah, that's just your picker bud.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Well if we're all the same you should probably just avoid us all.

Womankind will manage 

But before those snide remarks I was going to offer the opinion that you should always talk to your wife about what's going on but you should also be careful that you're clear in what you want from her and what you want from her is a reasonable ask.

No partnered person should suffer alone. BUT.....it may not be something your partner can reasonably fix. You fix your own problems but ask for what you need to help.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Yeah you are right. Don’t ever listen to people telling you otherwise.
> Females are not trust worthy like that.
> It’s better to help yourself and keep your mouth shut.
> 
> ...


It goes both ways. I can say the same about men. They are all pigs!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

lifeistooshort said:


> Well if we're all the same you should probably just avoid us all.
> 
> Womankind will manage


😆 Lol


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wait... aren't you the same guy who got embarrassed because you woke up from a nightmare and she wanted to help?


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Wait... aren't you the same guy who got embarrassed because you woke up from a nightmare and she wanted to help?


Yes. Why ? 


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

Was it about dream about a world where women were equals and they talked with men on an emotionally even level?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I think you should share to a point, but my job as a husband has always been to create an environment where my wife feels safe, part of that involves me being strong and not placing the burden of my concerns on her. That doesn't mean we don't discuss them, but I am careful in how I do. My wife is NOT my Mother, or my counselor.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Tasorundo said:


> Was it about dream about a world where women were equals and they talked with men on an emotionally even level?


It was a dream where women with hot women run around nekkid. No wait, that was mine.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Tasorundo said:


> Was it about dream about a world where women were equals and they talked with men on an emotionally even level?


Hahahahahhahahaahaha 😆 😆 😆 😆


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

sokillme said:


> I think you should share to a point, but my job as a husband has always been to create an environment where my wife feels safe, part of that involves me being strong and not placing the burden of my concerns on her. That doesn't mean we don't discuss them, but I am careful in how I do. My wife is NOT my Mother, or my counselor.


I think you should share nothing and keep everything to yourself. Otherwise you may be exposed. How do you know your wife won’t talk trash about you and make fun of you ? 


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

sokillme said:


> I think you should share to a point, but my job as a husband has always been to create an environment where my wife feels safe, part of that involves me being strong and not placing the burden of my concerns on her. That doesn't mean we don't discuss them, but I am careful in how I do. My wife is NOT my Mother, or my counselor.


Your mother is the only woman that truly loves you for real. 


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Your mother is the only woman that truly loves you for real.


So, women can be horrible, evil, master manipulators who go behind your back to trash talk you, but turn into amazing supportive, loving, trustworthy mother's, while still turning against her husband? 

Funny.


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

Lostinthought61 said:


> just curious do you also believe a woman's place is in the home and not out in the working world? or that children should be be seen and not heard. you are entitled to your opinion but there is no reason you can't be self reliant and independent and still communicative with your spouse on matters that may impact the relationship, finances and or lifestyle, keep your spouse in the dark of issues that you are dealing with but not talking about will eventually cause tension between you two, she will like you don't trust her to open up too and lead to other issues.


You should communicate about finance and lifestyle and any big purchases (I wish I didn’t have to) but anything that goes on in your own life such as work stresses, conflict between you and your own relatives or parents or even some friend group, a sick relative or parent, these things are not your spouses problems so you should keep those to yourself. Other then that you should definitely talk about child rearing, finances ect. 


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

bobert said:


> So, women can be horrible, evil, master manipulators who go behind your back to trash talk you, but turn into amazing supportive, loving, trustworthy mother's, while still turning against her husband?
> 
> Funny.


Yes exactly. It happens a lot. 


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Yes exactly. It happens a lot.


Sure 💤💤


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Man, iPod touches must be making a comeback. @fulltimecaca, @jeromewallas00, and @vintagetriplex are all loving theirs


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

fulltimecaca said:


> Yes exactly. It happens a lot.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


You DO realize how many ****ty mothers there are in the world, yes?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> Your mother is the only woman that truly loves you for real.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


OK. Sure.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> I think you should share nothing and keep everything to yourself. Otherwise you may be exposed. How do you know your wife won’t talk trash about you and make fun of you ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Frankly I really don't care what people say about me. I know who I am, peoples words don't hurt me, so there is that. Second I am pretty sure my wife won't. She has to much class, she would only be putting herself and her choices down. 

I can truly say that has never entered my mind ever.

Why did you even bother to get married when you have such little regard for women?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

fulltimecaca said:


> You should communicate about finance and lifestyle and any big purchases (I wish I didn’t have to) but anything that goes on in your own life such as work stresses, conflict between you and your own relatives or parents or even some friend group, a sick relative or parent, these things are not your spouses problems so you should keep those to yourself. Other then that you should definitely talk about child rearing, finances ect.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


You should really be single. 


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## fulltimecaca (Oct 5, 2020)

3Xnocharm said:


> You should really be single.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Why do you say that ? I didn’t say anything bad here. 


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

fulltimecaca said:


> Your mother is the only woman that truly loves you for real.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Are you really married or asking your questions for a friend?


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## OOPSIDIDITAGAIN (Oct 13, 2020)

fulltimecaca said:


> Here is what I think. Your struggles and worries are none of your wife’s business and as a grown man, you must be 100 percent self reliant and if you need help, it shouldn’t be up to her to find a set of resources to help you. You should be able to help yourself.
> 
> Sure, you don’t have to be perfect but you better be independent and self reliant. When you moved out of your parents house, got your college degree and started your career, that means you are financially and emotionally independent and should be able to be on your own with nobody by your side. Only rely on yourself. If you were in that reddit comment section I would tell you to not listen to this poster but what do you think ?
> 
> ...


I do discuss things with my wife. However, I have a Therapist that I like to vent to. However, my keeper (the wife) hates when I talk to my Therapist. She has even spied on me, made noises etc. Lately she has said " a real man" handles his own problems. she signed us up for Marriage Counseling and when the counselor said she needed to back off, she stopped the sessions and found another counselor. Then that Psychologist asked me how many times I have thought about leaving because of the way she is, she cancelled him as well. 
The point of my story is, it depends on the person you are married to. I would rather die then ever tell my wife anything about my struggles and worries.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

fulltimecaca said:


> I didn’t say anything bad here.


No, not "bad." Merely offensive.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

All gone!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> All gone!


 

L O L!!!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

@MattMatt - Thank you for removing this latest weirdo from TAM. Sock puppet troll remover spray did the job - BRAVO!!!!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> They are all the same.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Oh really so you have met them all?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> Your mother is the only woman that truly loves you for real.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Total and complete nonsense.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

fulltimecaca said:


> I think you should share nothing and keep everything to yourself. Otherwise you may be exposed. How do you know your wife won’t talk trash about you and make fun of you ?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk


Probably because most women arent like that.


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