# I cant do it



## let_me_go (Jul 3, 2009)

I have been with my partner for the past five years.For the first three years I was mentally and physically abused.
He would go out 6 nights a week,and kiss other wemon.He would end our relationship a mimumun of once a week,and I would get on my knees,and beg him to stay.I was hysterical,and thought that I would die without him,and that I couldn't cope.I put up with everything and anything he would throw at me,and he knew it.
Two years ago,we moved home-town,and as he was broken from his mates,and we we're staying at his dad,the violence stopped,but he would still be verbally abusive.
I had the courage to leave four months later,even though i was sad about it.
I packed all my things.But then I found out I was pregnant.
I decided to stay with him,and things were stable,and bare-able.
My daughter is now 8months old.
Even though i've been trying to leave him for the past four years,for over three of those I was too weak,but now I know that I dont need him,or want him.I do not love him,and everything he does pisses me off!
He gets up at 11am,goes on his xbox360 till 3pm,then spends an hour with us,before he goes to work till midnight.
On his day off,he will lock himself in the bedroom all-day, on his xbox360.He has only been swimming with us once,since my daughter was born, and that is the only thing he has done with us.
I do not love him,I want to leave,I pack our stuff all the time,but the next day I chicken out,due to the fact that I feel guilty on him for taking his daughter away,and I dont want him to be hurt.
If I do tell him that "this isn't working" and that I want to leave.He tells me that I am selfish.That i'm putting my feelings before our daughters,and do I just want to be another single mum,and that I can never take his daughter away from him.
He doesn't even put his dirty clothes in the wash,or his rubbish in the bin. He just leaves it all on the floor,on his side of the bed.He absolves any duties as he works F/T,even though I do2 days a week.
He infuriates me,and i cry all the time because I just want to leave,but i feel too gulity to.I want to go


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

let_me_go said:


> I do not love him,I want to leave,I pack our stuff all the time,but the next day I chicken out,due to the fact that I feel guilty on him for taking his daughter away,and I dont want him to be hurt.


That says it all there! You need to get a backbone and leave. Perhaps individual counseling can help. 

The other problem I see is the one where you are worried about taking his daughter away from him. Just because you exit the relationship with him doesn't mean the relationship with his daughter has to end. However, I'm not sure he needs to be around her with his tendencies towards abuse (verbal & physical).


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Go, and let the court work out his time with his daughter. I suspect he is using his claim to her to keep you under control, and once he has his visitation rights, he'll stop using them. This will be sad for, and hard on, your daughter--be prepared to help her cope with a father who just doesn't care. Be prepared to have to garnish his wages, too--to make sure you get child support. Do not let him guilt you into staying--this is such an unhealthy environment for a child and even with the absent father down the road (if that's what happens) she will be much better off being raised by a happy single mom!


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