# I need a suggestion..



## tygrelilly (Oct 22, 2010)

My husband went for his gig at a different state on tuesaday..while on his way.. he lost his phone.. he got into facebook to tell me he got there safe but lost his phone.. and that was it. Till today he has not called.. it's been 5 days since... i sent him a facebook message again asking him to call.. but his response was.."how to call you? i dowan to intrude on others plus john dont have a house phone.....i need a phone when i get back though..." that was it.... i mean there's public phone.. i'm very very angry.... when he get back i want him to pay for this... i know it sounds bad.. but just me getting back at him.. give him a taste of his own medicine... any suggestion... pls...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

His excuse is quite lame. But, you'll accomplish nothing with such a hostile homecoming. Well, I take that back--you will accomplish something--a big fight. I'm just wondering how old you both are and how long you've been married. My suggestion would be to call the cell phone provider and see if he is eligible for a free phone up-grade. Then begin reading some marriage/self-help books.


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## NickCampbell (Oct 18, 2010)

A "taste of his own medicine" is very childish and not something that belongs in a marriage. 

Honestly though - what difference would a phone call make? If you suspect he's being unfaithful, do you really expect a phone call to be a deterrent? I'm sorry but, if his mind is made up to cheat, phone or not, it's gonna happen. 

So try to keep your sanity as intact as possible, as you've got no other option than to wait till he contacts you...

Personally, him not contacting his wife for that many days is incredibly lame. There are phones everywhere, there's facebook chat, there's skype, there's spending the 30 minute's inside a sprint store (or whatever you have) and walking out with a brand new phone, etc etc. Just don't have an argument or fight with him, as that accomplishes nothing but makes your situation worse. Find other ways to vent.


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## tygrelilly (Oct 22, 2010)

to be honest this is a chain of action which lead to what had happened and how i feel. Anyway.. the whole reason is because he's been unemployed for 6 months now.. i'm literally supporting both of us.. i feel he's not trying hard enough. He got back after 4 days. His excuse was he's staying at a friends place which doesn't have a proper internet access or phone. He didn't want to trouble his friends to ask to borrow their phone..it is emergency..i don't know why he's so unwilling to ask...he also said well they didn't offer either...so ok..i accept it.. then i asked why isn't there a public phone..? he said he took a bicycle ride as far as he can go but no shops or pay phone.. hmmm... i dunno... i forgave him..the part if he's cheating..didn't cross my mind.. i know he's faithful.. just that sometimes i think he fails to think how i would feel... he says i dont understand how he feels... thats why i thought "he should taste his own medicine"... i does sound lame... and childish.. i'm 30 and so is he...and we're been married for just about a year now... maybe i need learn to be more tolerating... i get that... thanks anyway for your advices... appreciate it alot..


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Now that I've been given more details, I'm not sure you should be more tolerant. You may want to seek counseling. At age 30 he should be more mature than this. He's not wanting to get a job, hangs out at buddies' houses, and does the band thing. I wonder if you may have a "Peter Pan" on your hands.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

tygrelilly said:


> when he get back i want him to pay for this... i know it sounds bad.. but just me getting back at him.. give him a taste of his own medicine... any suggestion... pls...


That's exactly how i am! i have to get even when someone crosses me. i was never like that until i got married. 

what i realized, though, is no matter what i did i could not get back at him. and i tried. if i did something small or subtle it didnt even phase him so i kept escalating to try and get a reaction out of him. i turned into this horrible person that i didnt like. i was miserable and ticked off all the time. and on the rare occasion that i was successful at getting back at him, i felt horrible. hurting him back never worked out for me.


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