# I think cheaters are like people with new car fever



## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

Have you ever started test driving new cars and then start thinking only the bad things about your present car and it is worthless junk. My wife has been talking about every fault I have ever had for the last six months. BOOM I found out she was having an affair. As soon as my last round of chemo is over I am out of here. ( my insurance is through her work) Married 25 years


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

coolbreez - so sorry to read this.
Such a cruel and low blow.

I wish you the best for a happy and healthy future


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

coolbreez said:


> Have you ever started test driving new cars and then start thinking only the bad things about your present car and it is worthless junk. My wife has been talking about every fault I have ever had for the last six months. BOOM I found out she was having an affair. *As soon as my last round of chemo is over I am out of here*. ( my insurance is through her work) Married 25 years


She was cheating on you while you are battling cancer? What a peach she is.....:cussing:


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

How I found out was one day I was having treatment and instead of waiting in the lounge as usual she decided to pick him up for a quickie and somebody ran a red light and t-boned my car. OM was taken to hospital but she was unhurt. couldn't lie her way out of that one. His phone was still in my car. I still have it but for some reason he wont come get it from me.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Are you not tempted to text everyone in his phone about it? I would be hard pressed not to.


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

Kurosity said:


> Are you not tempted to text everyone in his phone about it? I would be hard pressed not to.


Already done


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

What is WITH the cheater who cheats when their spouse needs them the most? 

My ex's wife passed from cancer at 41. He had an affair. He explained it by saying that he and his wife had not had a very good sex life, and once she was diagnosed, sex pretty much stopped. He said he hadn't had sex in 5 years, and when opportunity arose, he grabbed it. 

Supposedly, there was emailing back and forth and they decided to consummate their relationship. He said that there was some kissing, but that when the AP got to the hotel, she 'chickened out'. (...which tells me that HE was still willing to go through with it)

I forgave him. Chalked it up to something that was sort of understandable...

Until he cheated on ME. I then realized that his whole history involved cheating and prostitutes. 

I no longer believe that he didn't go through with it the first time.

There must be a special place in hell for the cheater who cheats on their spouse when their spouse is sick/dying. 

Vega


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

Vega said:


> What is WITH the cheater who cheats when their spouse needs them the most?
> 
> My ex's wife passed from cancer at 41. He had an affair. He explained it by saying that he and his wife had not had a very good sex life, and once she was diagnosed, sex pretty much stopped. He said he hadn't had sex in 5 years, and when opportunity arose, he grabbed it.
> 
> ...


Trust me ..... there is.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

I guess i shouldnt complain about my husband any longer ?? 

He had purchased / lease a brand new car 7 times over the past dozen years or so ??? Its much easier to cope with this than him cheating on me  !! 

Sorry to hear about your situation though coolbreez


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Husband having chemo and wife banging someone in the car. 

may be she was lining up someone in case.........
Any way it will be worth living alone than with someone like this.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Who is the OM ? Atleast he got some of his karma.

How is the wife reacting to this ?


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My husband fvcked someone whose name he didn't even know in his car at a party. I wasn't at the party with him because I had been admitted to the hospital two days earlier with severe pregnancy complications. 

I'm sorry this has happened to you, OP. Sometimes, there just aren't enough words to describe the level of suck....


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Damn it man. What a piece of work. She kicked you while you were down. 25 years of love, trust, sharing, caring, damn it memories man, at the blink of an eye. Well the "KARMA" bus t-boned your car. I got a chuckle out of that one. That was divine intervention and you know that. I wished that crap would have worked for me. I had to read that part again. God does work in mysterious ways. Anyway good luck to you sir. I was in the same boat with my exw, and her cancer only to be left standing holding nothing while someone else was enjoying something. I know your hurt, 20 years, poof, gone. But I'm better for it and living a wonderful life with an absolute darling of a woman. That is the way it should be for people like us. I still can't believe sometimes why she like what I had to offer, late in the game. My current wife told me when I asked her that question. Her response was you are a good guy and who comes from good stock. She wasn't sold until she met my mom, all was well after that. So you see karma works in all kinds of ways. I want to hear more. It also sounds like that traffic collision took care of any investigation that you would put yourself through to find out if she was unfaithful.


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

She is trying to rug sweep. The guy is somebody from her work. It is going to be a sh^%storm because his wife is a popular writer for children's Sunday school classes. This AM I don't even want to continue any more treatments only 3 more to go for now. I am changing my life insurance beneficiary today. Just think 2 weeks ago I was terrified about death and now I just don't care about anything. I think I am almost more pissed about my car. I have had it 31 years and It was a 1969 GTO Judge convertible.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

coolbreez said:


> She is trying to rug sweep. The guy is somebody from her work. It is going to be a sh^%storm because his wife is a popular writer for children's Sunday school classes. This AM I don't even want to continue any more treatments only 3 more to go for now. I am changing my life insurance beneficiary today. Just think 2 weeks ago I was terrified about death and now I just don't care about anything. I think I am almost more pissed about my car. I have had it 31 years and It was a 1969 GTO Judge convertible.


Continue with your treatments.. get better. I can imagine you're enraged, but the best revenge is to get healthy. Restoring another GTO can be your motivation... I'm a few months out from discovering my wife had been cheating on me for half a decade.. i was crushed, my 25 year anniversary is coming up.. It will get better, know that.. I know it's hard to believe right now, but it will.. You're suffering an emotional trauma, it's normal to feel so low.. just don't do anything foolish, there's a GTO out there somewhere that needs you. Take care of yourself as best you can..


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

coolbreez said:


> She is trying to rug sweep. The guy is somebody from her work. It is going to be a sh^%storm because his wife is a popular writer for children's Sunday school classes. This AM I don't even want to continue any more treatments only 3 more to go for now. I am changing my life insurance beneficiary today. Just think 2 weeks ago I was terrified about death and now I just don't care about anything. I think I am almost more pissed about my car. I have had it 31 years and It was a 1969 GTO Judge convertible.


in pa you can't change your benificary with out the consent of your spouce.


sorry about your cancer.
what type of cancer do you have? and did they catch it in an early stage?

don't feel obligated to answer if you don't want.


as for your wife.....cold hearted woman there.

why was she driving your gto? did you have it insured?

as far as his phone cll some out of country places and run up his phone bill.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

When my wife was going through cancer I stood by her. She used to come home from her treatments telling me how another person in the waiting room was getting divorced, or that their spouse had left. The majority of the people getting treated were going through divorce/seperation. Then she would thank me for sticking by her and being such a good husband. When she got through her cancer and got her clean bill of health she cheated...


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP sorry for the spot you are in and best wishes for a speedy recovery and clean bill of health. 

Shame about the car I remember a friend in college with one in his family. Bright orange hard to miss on the road. I do not remember his being a convertible. Are they all orange? 

Ovid ouch I didn't realize your story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> in pa you can't change your benificary with out the consent of your spouce.
> 
> 
> sorry about your cancer.
> ...


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

coolbreez said:


> Already done


Love this!:rofl:


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

Ovid said:


> When my wife was going through cancer I stood by her. She used to come home from her treatments telling me how another person in the waiting room was getting divorced, or that their spouse had left. The majority of the people getting treated were going through divorce/seperation. Then she would thank me for sticking by her and being such a good husband. When she got through her cancer and got her clean bill of health she cheated...


My ex told me that the day his wife was diagnosed, she turned to him and said, "Now I suppose you'll want a divorce". He said that he told her that he wouldn't divorce her; that he was "in it for the long haul". 

That told me two things: First, that _she_* knew *_him_. She knew that he is the kind of person who doesn't really _want_ to take care of others. Second, when he had his affair, he got to look like the 'good husband' AND to have an affair on the side, "just in case". He admitted that he didn't want to be alone when she died. 

He also told me that he asked his wife if she thought he was a 'good husband'. Although he never told me what her answer was, I have wondered if he asked her BEFORE or AFTER he told her that he fell in love with another woman...and that he had been spending his evenings chatting with this other woman online...and that he had grabbed onto this "opportunity" to have sex with this other woman...

Talk about a sense of _entitlement_!

Vega


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I knew a woman who cheated on her husband with his best friend downstairs when her husband was upstairs dying from COPD.

She has never forgiven herself and never dated though she was a young widow.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> I knew a woman who cheated on her husband with his best friend downstairs when her husband was upstairs dying from COPD.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whoa...


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

It is amazing how fast ones perspective on life can change. One day I had a terrible fear of dying and leaving my wife a lonely widow and the next day dying means nothing to me compared to losing the woman I lived for and was my anchor for me to keep fighting. The only thing she pleaded for was for me to return the OM's IPhone. I mailed it back to him today minus all his information on it. I synced it to my MacBook pro and reset it back to factory settings. The only thing on it is ( I hope I don't get into trouble for ) a pic of my bare butt. As far as the cancer goes it has shrunk some and the doc said I have a 60-70 percent chance to make it 5-10 years maybe more. I know I will have a hard time ever finding anybody else because who wants a relationship with someone that may not be around a long time. oh well you have to play the hand you are dealt.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

coolbreez said:


> It is amazing how fast ones perspective on life can change. .


Yes, and ex's perspective became "Life's too short..." (to be 'deprived' of sex). He has _mis_-used his new 'perspective' to become totally self-involved. 



> I know I will have a hard time ever finding anybody else because who wants a relationship with someone that may not be around a long time. oh well you have to play the hand you are dealt


I would rather be with a _faithful_ man who knew he was going to die in three years, than to be with a _cheater_, who knew he was going to die in three years...

Vega


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## movin on (Jan 24, 2012)

You sound like one cool dude,coolbreeze. You seem to be handling this well. 

Make sure you take care of yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

movin on said:


> You sound like one cool dude,coolbreeze. You seem to be handling this well.
> 
> Make sure you take care of yourself.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is really hard to keep my cool sometimes when I am shattered inside. I think one of the things that hurt the most was reading one of her text to him I got off his phone. She was telling him how ugly I was now since I lost most of my hair and that it made my nose look huge and I was repulsive to her. I would have rather she shot me rather than read those words that I can never forget. I quit reading after that. I cant just divorce her now since my health insurance is through her work. I guess it was always too good to be true for someone as gorgeous as her to be married to me for 25 years. She is 46 and still looks 30. She is one of those ageless beauty types. But inside she is ugly. I still hope to wake up and this all be a bad nightmare. Thanks for the support everybody...


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

coolbreez said:


> It is amazing how fast ones perspective on life can change. One day I had a terrible fear of dying and leaving my wife a lonely widow and the next day dying means nothing to me compared to losing the woman I lived for and was my anchor for me to keep fighting. The only thing she pleaded for was for me to return the OM's IPhone. I mailed it back to him today minus all his information on it. I synced it to my MacBook pro and reset it back to factory settings. *The only thing on it is ( I hope I don't get into trouble for ) a pic of my bare butt.* As far as the cancer goes it has shrunk some and the doc said I have a 60-70 percent chance to make it 5-10 years maybe more. I know I will have a hard time ever finding anybody else because who wants a relationship with someone that may not be around a long time. oh well you have to play the hand you are dealt.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

You are a cool guy.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Ovid said:


> When my wife was going through cancer I stood by her. She used to come home from her treatments telling me how another person in the waiting room was getting divorced, or that their spouse had left. The majority of the people getting treated were going through divorce/seperation. Then she would thank me for sticking by her and being such a good husband. When she got through her cancer and got her clean bill of health she cheated...


Stuck by my AxW through 20 years of on and off again surgeries. After all her ailments were "repaired" found out she had been cheating on me for 10 years of it. Yea, I was far toonaive. I will never put myself last, to that degree, in a relationship again. I figure, God willing, I have another 20 years or so to my life. I would rather be alone, than go through this again.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Vega said:


> Whoa...


And she was probably the last person I'd suspect of being able to cheat. 

But she was were having a dinner party at her house and broke down and tearfully confessed to we guests. Talk about an awkward moment.


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

He is on now on cheaterville and has a new Facebook page. With links sent to elders at his church. No gloves here.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Are you separated, still living together?
Did you already talk to a lawyer?

Hang in there man.


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

Acabado said:


> Are you separated, still living together?
> Did you already talk to a lawyer?
> 
> Hang in there man.


We are still living together. I call it a quiet truce for now. 
I did talk to a lawyer. I live in Alabama and there are two types of divorce. No fault or I can file contested adultery. Usually in no fault divorce assets are split close to 50/50 with adultery the judge can split it how he wants. She is going to have a cow when she finds out her pension will have to be split with me. at least for the 25 years she has been with me. She has one of those good government jobs with a real pension. I on the other hand have a 401k worth about 5% of what hers is worth. The lawyer also told me she may have to keep health insurance on me also. As for now I am going to play it cool until chemo and surgery is over They cant operate until the tumor has shrunk some more. So far it is working But there is also the fact as stupid as it sounds I still love her and would give my life for her. As much as I try I can't turn love off like a switch. It is hard to believe one year ago today we were on a Disney cruise with the kids and I thought I was the luckiest man in the world.


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## coolbreez (Sep 6, 2013)

I can not wrap my head around how much this hurts. Several years ago mt little brother was killed in Iraq. They say he was burned alive. I feel i am a bad person because this hurts me more. I feel as if my soul has been ripped from my chest and stomped on in front of me. My brother was married to my wife's little sister ans his wife did the same to him.I remember a few months after his funural his ex mu sister in law said cheating on him was the worst mistake she had made in her life. My wife asked her how could be so stupid to cheat on somebody that was so good to her. Now my wife has done the same thing. I told her tonight I am stopping all treatment and moving out.. I just can't take anymore B.S. I was supposed to have treatment tomorrow but she said she couldn't drive me. It is a 3 hour drive. Her reason is she has an appointment to get her nails done. Yeah right. F.M.L.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey CoolB------your wife is one horrible person----you may have loved the woman you were married to prior to your being sick---but this ain't that woman

I drove a friend of mine to City of Hope for his infusions-----sometime I had to wait three hours, but it was a pleasure to do it for him----his wife runs three DUI schools here in the Inland Empire---and there were times she needed help

Call the hospital you are going to for the infusions, they may have a pick up service---also---your insurance should cover medical transportation if you need it---such as a taxi

Your wife is one nasty mean MF'er----I don't care how good the past was with her---you need to be rid of her, and yes do make things hot for her lover---what decent man would have sex with the wife of a cancer patient, while he was being treated----tell anyone and everyone you can, about him---open him up, and expose the can of worms he is--

-good luck to you

Also do me one favor---go on line and google----FROZEN LEMONS----you will be amazed by what you read


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

coolbreez,

I am just speechless, and so sorry for what your wife has done to you. Please take care of yourself.

I think you will find that your respect for her will soon start slipping away bit by bit, and with that slipping away you will find your love will turn to disgust and pity.

It sounds like cheating runs in her family, hopefully your kids will see your example and take a different path.

Let the consequences rain down on her head to what ever extent possible, your kids will need to see that.

Btw no body wants to be labeled a cheater, her little sister saying that it was a mistake actually tells you nothing about her, its easy to say at that point.. If he were still alive she might still be cheating on him.

My wife has suffered the debilitating effects of ms for years, we have had our ups and downs, but I respect her to much to abandon her the way your wife has you. Your wife's core is gone, mourn who she was and all that she meant to you, but realize that she is a very selfish person.

Take care!


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

coolbreez said:


> I can not wrap my head around how much this hurts. Several years ago mt little brother was killed in Iraq. They say he was burned alive. I feel i am a bad person because this hurts me more. I feel as if my soul has been ripped from my chest and stomped on in front of me. My brother was married to my wife's little sister ans his wife did the same to him.I remember a few months after his funural his ex mu sister in law said cheating on him was the worst mistake she had made in her life. My wife asked her how could be so stupid to cheat on somebody that was so good to her. Now my wife has done the same thing. *I told her tonight I am stopping all treatment and moving out.*. I just can't take anymore B.S. I was supposed to have treatment tomorrow but she said she couldn't drive me. It is a 3 hour drive.* Her reason is she has an appointment to get her nails done. Yeah right. F.M.L.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Please dont stop your treatment. She may not need you but your children, friends and family needs you.

I dont have anything to say about her nails appointment, if I say something I will be banned forever because i dont have anything good to say.

Take care of yourself.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Please dont stop your treatment. She may not need you but your children, friends and family needs you.
> 
> Take care of yourself.


This, please, cool down and think a little more ahead. Find a way to go to the treatment.
Ignore her, have no expectations of expect the worse, don't let her to get under you skin and have any control on your actions and future.

You can do it. Hang tough man.


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