# Step Daughter Marriage



## jsa750k (Nov 27, 2011)

We are an older couple,I'm 55 and she's 49. We married 3 yrs ago and have 2 of her daugfhters living here. One is 31 and mentally handicapped,the other is 26 . She never goes out,goes to school at night 2 days a week. She met a guy on line a little over a year ago. Over my protestations,she continued to let him stay over here on weekends,which of course became a lot more often and ,surprise,she's pregnant. They were planning to marry in March anyway. So now shes given up her plan to join the Air Force,,saying that she" probably would'nt be accepted anyway". I feel the whole thing is a mistake and a ploy by the Mormon kid to get himself married and have a child right away. Anyway,I digress. Today is the 33rd birthday of my daughter and her twin brother. We lost my son,her twin, to suicide 8 yrs ago. I blame myself still because of mine and his moms actions during his younger life. Which leads me to ask about this. 
Stepdaughter has asked me to walk her down the aisle at this church,and be the Dad she does'nt have. She has'nt listened to me before about this relationship or much else for that matter,and I honestly dont have any interest in this wedding or this pregnancy.Am I just a selfish ,horrible person,or should I grin and bear it ? I dont want to go through being the "proud papa" for something I dont believe in. My wife would hate me if I dont do it,I'm sure.


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## MoonHare (Jan 13, 2012)

Again so sorry about you son, how terrible. Just curious--was he your only son?

You should walk your stepdaughter down the aisle. No, you're not condoning it and you're right--she's making foolish choices. But it is what it is. At 26, you can't make her listen. And you can let her know (tactfully) how you feel. (But maybe after the wedding). It's a nice thing to do, and once the baby is born, she's going to need you guys.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

If you don`t condone this marriage and believe it is a serious mistake then you simply cannot walk her down the aisle.

I`m sorry but I disagree with Moonhare walking her down the aisle is symbolically "giving her" to this man, it is exactly "condoning" it.

You don`t want her married to this man so there is no reason for you to do this...it`s hypocritical.

The daughter and your wife aren`t going to like it but you`d be more of a father to her by refusing than by conceding.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

she is an adult and can make her own choices to live by the benefits and the consequences. I think its petty for you to refuse. She extended an honor to you by requesting you play such an important part in her big day. Our adult kids do lots of things we dont agree with. You know what, so did we. Walk your "daughter" down the isle and sincerely wish her the best, as her "dad"


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What is your objection to the young man she is about to marry? 

What do you want her to do? Raise the baby by herself?


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