# HELP! From the men... and maybe the ladies!



## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

OK. I have been quiet on here for a while but have been working on my life and my relationship, kind of keeping tabs on all going on here.

In some of my posts I have talked about llooonnngggggg dry spells..... 15 to 18 months actually (guess I have the patience of Job)

My SO and I have had many fights and tears trying to get through this whole thing and I have finally come to believe him when he says he has no interest in sex most of the time. The "plumbing" seems to be working ok for the most part. He hasnt watched porn in I dont know how long. 

Ive tried finding different lingerie, sexy tops, even lost a few pounds and got back into the jeans I wore on our first date....

So heres my question......

Can any of the guys, that may have had a low sex drive and gotten it back..... suggest something? How did you do it? Did you try herbal suppliments? 

I have heard that ginko works but havnt heard it first hand. I dont want to waste my time and money on junk that doesnt work.... and I have to say im getting desperate for a "normal" sex life! Im one of the few ( on this forum at least) that would be happy with sex 2 or 3 times a day..... now, I would be happy if I could have sex with him 2 to 3 times a week. I dont think thats too much to ask. Heck, I would be happy with once a week at this point!!!!!

Someone please help!!!!!! SOON!!!!! The DIY stuff just doesnt get it anymore.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I wish I could help. The last time I wasn't horny, I was 8 years old. Till I got on this forum, I didn't know such guys actually existed.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

When you say the plumbing is working, does that include testosterone count?

I don't ask this to be rude, but does he find you sexy?

Is there any chance he's been building up resentment towards you?

Is there a chance he's having an EA or PA with another woman? (I really hope not, but just trying to cover all bases here)

Is he stressed? Perhaps at work, or about something else?


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## regretful wife (May 6, 2012)

Well, my hubby was (and still is) a big supplement buff. 
And one time, he tried this supplement called "Horny Goat Weed," for...various reasons. 
He was considered a low drive person at the time (his libido fluctuates for many reasons). After taking that for two days, he couldn't keep his hands off me! It was unbelievable. He wanted it so much, it made me feel so beautiful, knowing he was chasing me all day .


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Has your H been tested for T levels?
Because if he is very low and gets on hormones your problem may well be sorted.

Natural ways to increase T...weight training (big muscles/compound exercises), eating red meat and good fats, increase zinc ( hence oysters often being suggested), get rid of hormone disrupters from your personal hygiene products (these mimic oestrogen...does your man have moobs?), get rid of excess bodyfat, limit booze and take a multi vitamin.
But most importantly he needs to get aroused often and orgasm if possible...this will increase his T levels.

My sis has just been through this with her man and is having results from these things.


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

We havnt done the testosterone count.... Ive only recently gotten him to talk to me about the whole situation,and he has refused to even think about a Dr.

He says he finds me attractive and alot of the clothes I try spark interest but when its time to go to bed its like theres not enough interest to keep the momentum.

He owns his own business and is stressed alot, and I think he may be depressed but again he refuses to talk to a Dr.

I work for a Dr that prefers the use of herbal and natural suppliments and we are working on the depression part which I think will improve the libido issue but to be honest thats a little more time consuming and id really like to get a little now.... I even told him I had thought of slipping him a micky... if it was a physical issue it would be no big deal.... i can get my hands on cialis or viagra.....

BTW... I have also heard the blueberry thing but havnt had the chance to try that out! lol But im going grocery shopping tomorrow!


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## PeasNCarrots (Apr 5, 2010)

Regretful wife..... I have heard about Horny Goat Weed too but like I said before, I didnt want to waste time and money on things that the vitamin store wants to offload this week. Know what I mean? Thats why I came here, I knew someone would have some firsthand experience!


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

One of the things that worked best for me was simply changing my perspective. When I first came here and saw all the hurt that the HD/LD stuff was causing, I decided to change my viewpoint. Instead of treating sex like an obligation and being afraid to tell my wife what I really wanted to try, I focused on being as open as possible and enjoying the intimacy of sex over the physical elements. There have bumps along the way, but when I finally got my head out of my butt and was able to relax, it became a lot more fun for both of us.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

How many years of frequent sex did you two have?

When did it drop off and how quickly?




PeasNCarrots said:


> OK. I have been quiet on here for a while but have been working on my life and my relationship, kind of keeping tabs on all going on here.
> 
> In some of my posts I have talked about llooonnngggggg dry spells..... 15 to 18 months actually (guess I have the patience of Job)
> 
> ...


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