# Think D-Day 3 is Coming Tonight



## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Well ****, just got back from vacay and a friend has something they want to talk to me about(WH). Uh I feel so sick!!!


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Ugh. Hang in there. If it is indeed a 3rd D-Day, remember it isn't you, it's him.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Acoa said:


> Ugh. Hang in there. If it is indeed a 3rd D-Day, remember it isn't you, it's him.


Thanks Acoa, I feel physically ill. I just got off the road from vacation with our 4 kids, driving over 3 days! I don't know what it is yet, but it's nothing good. I know I shouldn't believe him, but I had been checking up on him as much as I could and everything seemed fine. Then my friend needs me to talk, ugh!! Why are WS like this!! Seriously??!!!


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

It's hard not to get down on myself right now. I gave this man my life! I gave him 5 beautiful children(one passed), moved across country, and am about to turn 30 in 7 days and this is what he does to me??!!


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Maybe it's good news??? (crossing fingers)


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

doubletrouble said:


> Maybe it's good news??? (crossing fingers)


Nope it wasn't, multiple sources of him making out with a new OW while I was gone. Gonna talk more to my other source, but WH is going to be home soon tonight, do I confront ?, I can't hide my emotions, that's for sure!


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Pack him enough clothes for a few days, leave it outside with a 2 word note "I know" and lock the doors.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

I don't know what your story is, but a 2nd DDay is more than enough. (most think 1 is too many. But 2? 3?) 

Why is he still there?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

NeverMore said:


> Nope it wasn't, multiple sources of him making out with a new OW while I was gone. Gonna talk more to my other source, but WH is going to be home soon tonight, do I confront ?, I can't hide my emotions, that's for sure!


Only you can decide how much is too much, but if you don't confront, what are your other options? Keep on letting him cheat? He's obviously not going to stop on his own. What have you done the past 2 times when he was caught?

C


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Just went back and read your posts about D-Day #2 just back in March... You said you'd leave him if there was a D-Day #2. And you didn't. Now there's D-Day #3. Your boundaries are worse than useless if you don't enforce them, because all they're doing is showing him that you can safely be ignored.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/69252-how-common-dday-2-a.html

C


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## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

Try to follow the 3 strikes and you're out rule.

At this point he's confident he can get away with anything and you'll always be there for him.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Ugh, one source says they did see him making out, the other said they didn't. And supposedly he gave previous OW a bday gift back in beginning of May. Source wants to talk tomorrow, god this is crazy!


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## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

NeverMore said:


> god this is crazy!


It doesn't have to be crazy.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Don't talk to him, leave his stuff in a trash bag.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Sorry... I was being hopeful. 

I echo the other sentiments; you've given all you can possibly give. Toss his crap out in the street. no note necessary; he'll know why. 

Again, so sorry for you. What a piece of work.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

So spoke to WH last night, of course he denied these things. Said he had lots of time to think while I was gone and says he doesn't think he is built for monogamy, hmmm yah think?!!!, (That would have been nice to know 10 years ago) So we are done because I said I won't sit here and play house while you go screw other people. He has serious mental issues(narcissistic, sex addict, possible sexual abuse as a child) that he refuses to address by seeking treatment and so we are separating.


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## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

So after forgiving him 3x he finally tells you he's just going to continue seeing other women, and you can take it or leave it, so you're separating. That's a good start but why just separate?

This marriage is over. It's been over. The sooner you realize it and accept it, the better.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Start linning up those doks, plan your exit, detach as most as you can and get rid of him as soon as you can. Beat him up, lawyer up before him, take chargue.
You deserves way better, there's someone out there for you.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I am truly sorry for you. Yet part of me really does think this is a really good thing for you. I can't imagine living like that again; always wondering and never trusting. It is no way to live.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

talin said:


> So after forgiving him 3x he finally tells you he's just going to continue seeing other women, and you can take it or leave it, so you're separating. That's a good start but why just separate?
> 
> This marriage is over. It's been over. The sooner you realize it and accept it, the better.


The words could have 2 interpretations (will let the op chime in with their exact meaniing) as to Some people saying we are separating means the same thing as divorcing (just doesn't sound as harsh and ugly as divorcing does, sounds more amicable). In some states divorce is not allowed without separation. In my state you have to be separated "legally filed and on record" for a year before a divorce can be granted (and if you stay cohabit ate even one night in the same house during that separation the clock resets).


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

NeverMore said:


> So spoke to WH last night, of course he denied these things. Said he had lots of time to think while I was gone and says he doesn't think he is built for monogamy, hmmm yah think?!!!, (That would have been nice to know 10 years ago) So we are done because I said I won't sit here and play house while you go screw other people. He has serious mental issues(narcissistic, sex addict, possible sexual abuse as a child) that he refuses to address by seeking treatment and so we are separating.


Good for you. Now stay strong and stick to your guns.

I am so sorry this is happening to you.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Best wishes. D is a tough road but you will find happiness and peace again. Sounds like you have it more effort than I would have. 1 dday did me in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ImperfectMomma (May 2, 2012)

I just filed for D for the same reason. It took me a long time and a ton of bull to get to it. I never, ever want to live that life again. I read this and just trigger because I remember how terrible that is. Be smarter than me and move on, don't sit in limbo and allow him to keep doing it. Limbo stinks!! Cheaters stink. You and your kids deserve better. Think about what they will be learning from his actions, along with yours if you stay. You deserve to be treated with respect, he has none.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

We're just going to separate, I'm not ready to file for D yet, just can't handle it yet, but we are getting our own places and working out finances and the kids. Damn cake eaters !!!!!


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

Wow. "I'm not built for monogomy?" I feel for you. You give it all to a person and you're repaid with a knife in the guts.

Spare your kids from this person, spare yourself. What a terrible husband.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

awake1 said:


> Wow. "I'm not built for monogomy?" I feel for you. You give it all to a person and you're repaid with a knife in the guts.
> 
> Spare your kids from this person, spare yourself. *What a terrible husband.*


Poor excuse for one actually


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

How old OP? Average female once an adult lives to like 85. Do you want to be alone or merely separated for 40+ years?

D. Heal. and much later, find the man YOU DESERVE. One when you look into his eyes you see only his love not his betrayal.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Get your lawyer and talk through what the divorce process will look like. Make sure you protect your half of the assets. You know where this is headed, get legal advice. The process can be long in most states, filing is not irreversible (although I don't understand why you would halt it).


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

weightlifter said:


> *How old OP?* Average female once an adult lives to like 85. Do you want to be alone or merely separated for 40+ years?
> 
> D. Heal. and much later, find the man YOU DESERVE. One when you look into his eyes you see only his love not his betrayal.


Turning 30 on Tuesday, definitely not what I pictured for my 30th birthday.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Acoa said:


> Get your lawyer and talk through what the divorce process will look like. *Make sure you protect your half of the assets*. You know where this is headed, get legal advice. The process can be long in most states, filing is not irreversible (although I don't understand why you would halt it).


 Sadly we have none because he can't save a dime!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

55 years to go! DONT waste your life! It will take time but DONT waste your life! You are incredibly young and once healed you WILL make some great man a great wife. TAM will make you better at choosing and YOU will get the MAN YOU DESERVE.

Just imagine that intense sex right after the first I-love-yous with your new man... Pure person to person loving intimacy. No betrayal, just the intimacy.

No money? Maybe he will go with an arbitrator. There is no point to fighting over zero.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Wow, one more nail in the coffin, he can remember his wh0re's birthday enough to send her a gift but had to ask me the date when I reminded him of our daughters fifth birthday coming up!!!! We have 4 kids, he was there for the birth of all of them, and back in January per his request I texted him all their birth dates, guess it still isn't that important to him. My poor kids!


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

NeverMore said:


> Sadly we have none because he can't save a dime!


That's because he's spending the money chasing other women.


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

aug said:


> That's because he's spending the money chasing other women.


And buying her ****!!


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