# How to Know If a Lawyer is Good



## Pianocat (Jul 24, 2015)

Hi, I recently posted a thread titled "CA Separation Laws Questions" and it included some questions that can be be answered by those outside of California. Since I've only received one reply to that thread because the title is so limited, I thought I'd post my questions in a new thread that was labelled more clearly for the topic.

Background - I'm 53, married 28 years, 2 grown daughters. Youngest daughter completes college in June 2016, and we are supporting her until then. I have not worked in 25 years, but do make a few hundred a month (ave.) from a hobby. Husband makes good money as an executive.

I am looking into a separation instead of a divorce because I need to maintain health insurance coverage. I have had a short free consultation with an attorney who explained the amount of money I would get in a separation and how much it would decrease in a divorce. He explained that if my husband and I agree on finances and property distribution ourselves, the court will approve it, so long as an attorney looked at our agreement.

Neither of us are happy and I think it's possible we can handle dividing things amicably and fairly between ourselves. I fear that things turn uglier faster once lawyers are involved.

My questions now are:
1. We may be purchasing a new vehicle prior to separating. How would a car payment affect our finances? It would be our only debt aside from our mortgage.
2. I have heard about "preparing for separation", but what exactly should I do besides setting aside money for the first couple months? And, of course, being sure this is what I want.
3. How do you find out if an attorney is "good", "a pit bull", "is best for representing me in my situation".
4. Can I stay on his health insurance if we are legally separated? We are covered by one of the major national insurance providers.

From my reading, here are answers to questions you might aske me:
No cheating, abuse, gambling or drinking involved
Husband declined going to MC (fears being ganged up on and told he's wrong on anything)
Expect to have to wait a year until daughter graduates due to finances

Thank you for your help.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Pianocat said:


> Neither of us are happy and I think it's possible we can handle dividing things amicably and fairly between ourselves. I fear that things turn uglier faster once lawyers are involved.


Often this is true.
Have you looked at the California court self-help website? Is has all the forms and directions you need to do a pro se divorce. You can pay an attorney for just looking over the agreement, vs the attorney doing the entire case.
Divorce or Separation - divorce_or_separation_selfhelp



Pianocat said:


> My questions now are:
> 
> 1. We may be purchasing a new vehicle prior to separating. How would a car payment affect our finances? It would be our only debt aside from our mortgage.


Who is going to drive the car?

I’ve seen it work different ways. Once person takes the car and refinances it in their name. Or I’ve seen it done as part of the settlement where the lower income spouse got the use of the car and the higher income spouse paid it off. Once it’s paid off, it’s transferred to the lower income spouse.




Pianocat said:


> 2. I have heard about "preparing for separation", but what exactly should I do besides setting aside money for the first couple months? And, of course, being sure this is what I want.


Get copies of all legal, financial and personal papers and keep these in a safe place. Often times important papers disappear once the work ‘divorce’ is uttered. Remove all of your personal valuables from your home and put them in a safe place.
If you do not have a bank account in your name only, open one and start putting money in it. You might want to use an a address other than the home where your husband and you live right now.
Do things to get a job that pays something you can live on. Find a community college or trade school and get some skills. Or go get a college degree. Yes, I’ve seen women your age do that. 
Start making your hobby a real business NOW.




Pianocat said:


> 3. How do you find out if an attorney is "good", "a pit bull", "is best for representing me in my situation".


You ask people you know. Maybe join a divorce support group just to find people to ask that of.

If you live around the LA area I can give you the name of a good attorney (not pit bull) who will work very reasonably. I’ll explain more in a PM.. so PM if you are interested.



Pianocat said:


> 4. Can I stay on his health insurance if we are legally separated? We are covered by one of the major national insurance providers.


If you are legally separated, you are still married. So yes you can stay on his medical insurnce.



Pianocat said:


> From my reading, here are answers to questions you might aske me:
> No cheating, abuse, gambling or drinking involved
> 
> Husband declined going to MC (fears being ganged up on and told he's wrong on anything)
> ...


Use the time wisely.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*The best way to get information on attorneys is to get personal references from people who have employed them! Those folks will be able to give you a sheer wealth of knowledge, albeit good, bad, or indifferent!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pianocat (Jul 24, 2015)

Thanks for the advice. Regarding the car - it will be for my husband. I expect we'll buy it by the end of the year and it will be titled to both of us, as everything is. Since he will b driving it and he's the higher earning (only earning) spouse, it would make sense that he would have to make the payments and the amount of money I get each month would not be affected. But, just because something makes sense to me does not mean it is what would happen. I've read enough on here to know that things don't always work out that way.


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