# So he says he is finlly movin out and then this...



## mishu143 (Jun 20, 2011)

Hi all, 

My hubby is finally moving out. Things are so tense that I cant handle another day around him. We fight because I wont give him the answers he wants (me to say what a piece of crap I am and how awesome he is) and I'm tired of it all. When I finally buck up and get over the crying and fear, when I finally get over the hurt and I'm ready to go back to school and earn a career, while I work, cook, clean, and raise my kids all at the same time, I read crap like this on accident and remember all the thoughts I felt and still feel while torturing myself about leaving. This article explains how I feel as a woman who stays home with her kids.... to the da*n T. And before anyone hounds me with their opinions about girl power and feminism, this is my personal feeling on the matter for MYSELF and only for me. my home life was my girl power. I knew that once they were both in school I could finish my degree and work around their school hours. I wanted my family and home and now maybe someone who feels like me can advise me on how to clear away all the guilt, shame, an more guilt I feel for not being able to accomplish this one freaking goal! RAISE MY FAMILY so that no one else has to. 

So please be respectful of my feelings about my desires like I would respect any of yours who would prefer to work and make a career, feminism, and whatever homemaker hater comments you may have. This isn't why I posted it. Simply put I feel like I'm grieving someone's death when its really the death of my stay at home life with my kids being able to rely on me for their needs... Please, any guidance, any support, any anything would be greatly appreciated. 

No. 2.... how do I tell my kids ages (7) and (3) that e are no longer going to live as one family. I'm heartbroken because my son says to me a few days ago (as I was trying to prep him for the news with me going back to school)..."Mami, we don't need more money, let daddy keep working and you can stay home with me and sister. I don't want to go to daycare or have a sitter. I love you and I want to be with you mami." Let me also say, not as his mother, HE IS EXTREMELY BRIGHT and cant be played for stupid. How do we have this conversation with him and sister?

'Princeton Mom' Susan Patton to 20-Somethings: Find Love, Make Babies Now


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

At the time of my divorce my daughter was 12. So it was a little different. Ultimately my daughter knew the basic idea of what was up. Friends had gone through it, etc. SO it ended up being much easier than I led myself to believe it would be. I kept it age appropriate. I also kept it from being a blame game. 

I basically told her that...

Kiddo, we love you. Nothing changes that. Your mother and I don't get along well anymore. You've heard that. We want you to grow up in the best possible situation. That means without all the fighting. The only way we can give you that is to live apart. Your mother is still your mother. Nothing will ever change that. There's no need to blame anyone for anything. We just don't get along anymore. Like when we outgrow an old pair of shoes. (as luck would have it I had her out buying her new sneakers for school). 

The main thing was to let her know that she's still loved. That we're keeping her best interests at heart. That the other parent is still their best daddy/mommy. It's tough but we have to remember that no matter what happened between us and out partners, that's between us and out partners. We shouldn't let our experience with that other parent taint or mess up the child's relationship and affection with that parent. If the other parent is a crappy one, let them show that to the child. If you bad mouth the other parent, that's how the children will see you and the point you may try to make will be lost.


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