# Friendly advice please



## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

I have a 7 year old boy and a 3 year old daughter. In the past me and my son have our boys nights where he either sleeps over or we go do something. Basically I want to institute a daddy & daughter day or time to start spending quality time with her as well but I feel guilty about my son staying home. In the past it was always my daughter staring out the window and not thinking much of it. I am a single dad so when I have my kids they are alwyas together, When they are over on my weekends and we go to the park or the pool i spend alot of time with my daughter while my son goes off and plays. Basically the gist of it is that I am feeling guilty and I dont want my son who is older feeling cast away or jealous, how do I handle this. BTW, their mother rather than helping by taking my son somewhere and feeling good about maybe some mommy and me time will let him just sit home thats why i feel guilty. Any advice or ways to talk to my son, when i mention it that daddy needs to spend alone time with her as well, he gets sad and I hate to see him hurt.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Do you have other family around that could do something with your son while you have a daddy&daughter day? I realize school isn't in session right now, but once it starts up again, could you take a day off from work while your son is in school to have time with your daughter?

I have a 4yr old daughter, and a 2yr old son. What has worked for me when I see that they need some special mommytime, is to let one child stay with grandparents for the day (that way they get some quality time with them) while I take the other one out for the day. Or, I'll take one to daycare for the day, take the day off from work, and spend it with the other child.

For the most part we do things together, but they still need their special one-on-one time.


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## Rico (Jul 28, 2010)

Well the unfortunate part is that my family is all in florida so that wont jive. I really want to know what is the best way to break it to them, what are some consoling words to help my son. I dont want him to be sad and really just want him to look forward to having his daddy day and then being ok with my daughter having her day.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

My daughter, at 4, is pretty rational. I would guess that a 7 year old would be too. I'd explain to him that today is his sister's day for some daddy time, but next time it will be his turn. I'm not sure about your son, but with my daughter she's all about things being 'fair'. 

Not something that you would want to make a habit of, but maybe the first time you take your daughter for her day, you could also give him something (a token so to speak) of what he can look forward to on his day with you. <-- I'm thinking something like, "Today is Sister's day, but look I got us movie tickets for your next day!" of "Today is Sister's day, but guess what here's a new frisbee for when we go to the park on YOUR day."

I think once he sees that he's not going to lose HIS special time with you it will be much easier.


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## Mrs. Cruiser (Jul 25, 2011)

I would simply state it that he has his special days with you and since little sister is getting older it's time that she has special days with you as well. If he gets emotional just give him a hug and remind him that you love him. It's actually a good lesson for him that he has to share you and that it doesn't change how much you love him. 

I suggest you talk to your wife though and strongly encourage her to have one-on-one dates with your children as well. Whether they go out or stay home and do something special the benefits are huge for both parent and child! (as you know)


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

When you plan a day for your daughter, also plan a day (close after the daughter day) for your son.
Tell him all about the daddy/son day you have planned for him when it is his turn. Make sure you keep your word on this.
He may pout a little but giving him something to look forward to will take the edge of any jealousy he may feel when you take your daughter out.


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