# All this Valentine's Day stuff is killing me!



## Starfish girl (Feb 6, 2012)

One of my favorite days was Valentine's Day and we even renewed our vows on Valentine's Day about 8 years ago. I keep seeing all this stuff in the stores, on TV, cards, jewelry, etc. I know it's only a day and it's all just material but it was always a special day for us. I can't wait until it's over. But looming around the corner next month is a big milestone birthday for me. We were suppose to go to Hawaii, evert thing has been cancelled now. It is going to be devastating for me. I am so sad.


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## IfIwasYourVampire (Jan 5, 2012)

Same here... My first valentine in 10 years that i'm gonna be alone... And it hurts to know that my ex wife already has OM to spend the day with...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

Last Valentine's day he took me out for dinner, and I cried the whole time. This Valentine's day I am going to hang out with some friends, go to sleep early and get up for Divorce court in the morning, so not the happiest day for me either way. I will have other great Valentine's days in my future and so will you.


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## Starfish girl (Feb 6, 2012)

Last Valentine's day I was soooo happy. He surprised me with an iPhone, flowers, and candy. This year he's gone.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Starfish, I sure wish you could have kept your holiday in HI as planned. Is it possible to plan it again... as a gift to yourself after this hell is over or to lift your spirits before it's over?


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## Starfish girl (Feb 6, 2012)

I can't afford to now. And I would just be sad there by myself in Hawaii. It sounds nice when I say it but it was something we were planning together for a long time. I'm scared to fly alone. I would just rather not at this point.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I haven't liked Vday for years but for various reasons (materialism). Where I work the entire week is spent with people wearing red, pink, purple and everyone is in love! I am so glad that I am off all week! 

I don't always spend the day w/ my H so him not being here isn't such a big deal. He would often over spend on flowers for his absence. I would miss him, worry about the money, and try to appreciate the gift. This year... I am going in for a follow up drs appt and will try to show my kiddos the love ... and I will look forward to a love that I will have in the future (who knows who with!) or watch corny romantic comedies. I am feeling some Doris Day, Cary Grant or maybe I will make it Sandra Bullock in The Proposal.... Bad idea?


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## SailingSoloAgain (Feb 5, 2012)

I always loved V day, I'm the romantic type. I can't take the ads, haven't turned on TV all week. Unfortunately they're all over the internet too. Even afterwards it won't end, our anniversary isn't long after.

I got a V Day card from her yesterday. It says 'Do not open until V Day'. I'll wait although you can imagine the suspense. I held it under a bright light, I can see it's just a 'friend' card, "Thinking of You".


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## CSeryllum (Jan 23, 2012)

Ouch, that's cold to do to someone...send them a "friend" card during a separation? I'm sorry brother...

For me...i have to meet with a divorce attorney on valentines day, then remove my property from my house, romantic huh?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

That seems cold! Courts and lawyers should take the day off on V-day! Both CS and Madaboutlove have to deal with it on VDay- that's just wrong!!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

CSeryllum said:


> Ouch, that's cold to do to someone...send them a "friend" card during a separation? I'm sorry brother...


Yea, it's super rude. I'd probably write.."return to sender" on it and send it back.

i have enough salt to rub into my wounds.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

SailingSoloAgain said:


> I always loved V day, I'm the romantic type. I can't take the ads, haven't turned on TV all week. Unfortunately they're all over the internet too. Even afterwards it won't end, our anniversary isn't long after.
> 
> I got a V Day card from her yesterday. It says 'Do not open until V Day'. I'll wait although you can imagine the suspense. I held it under a bright light, I can see it's just a 'friend' card, "Thinking of You".





SailingSoloAgain said:


> I always loved V day, I'm the romantic type. I can't take the ads, haven't turned on TV all week. Unfortunately they're all over the internet too. Even afterwards it won't end, our anniversary isn't long after.
> 
> I got a V Day card from her yesterday. It says 'Do not open until V Day'. I'll wait although you can imagine the suspense. I held it under a bright light, I can see it's just a 'friend' card, "Thinking of You".


I don't take that card as a bad thing. I think she is thinking of you and not forgetting you on v day. I wouldn't expect a mushy one right now. I don't see it as that bad. I wish my husband would send me a thinking of you card.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

My stbxw just exchanged cards and spent some time together. She never liked to receive flowers. We kept our money for get-aways and trips, and I miss those very much. Not sure what I will be doing this V-day, and for trips this summer, for that matter. Right not I can only think one day at a time.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

canguy66 said:


> My stbxw just exchanged cards and spent some time together. She never liked to receive flowers. We kept our money for get-aways and trips, and I miss those very much. Not sure what I will be doing this V-day, and for trips this summer, for that matter. Right not I can only think one day at a time.


I was like that too. But my husband traveled on so many VDays that he would send flowers to work. It's nice that you spent time together... was it light or did you get a chance to talk?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I will be double posting this... on another thread but I think I am going to be adding Waiting to Exhale to the wkd movie list. I think it's fitting... or am I wrong with remembering the movie?

Any other light movies or movies where the BS comes out on top?


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## SailingSoloAgain (Feb 5, 2012)

sadwithouthim said:


> I don't take that card as a bad thing. I think she is thinking of you and not forgetting you on v day. I wouldn't expect a mushy one right now. I don't see it as that bad. I wish my husband would send me a thinking of you card.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm going along with your opinion sad. She took the trouble to send the card. It feels like there may be a letter in there, it's hard to tell. I can't imagine there'd be an FU letter in a 'thinking of you' card. Worst case it's a card, no extra writing, signed with no salutation and an initial.
Until I'm either crushed, snap or successful (equally likely either way) I'm going forward with the anti-180 and hoping for a reconciliation. I know the 180 fans are cringing but this feels like the right thing to do. If I can't win her back with love then she's not the person I want to win back. 
I have been practicing singing 'you are so beautiful' (the joe karker song. not really karker but this site has something against joe ****er) for a week now. I cant sing to save my life but hopefully I can sing well enough to save my marriage. I'll record that and send it to her v Day in the morning. 
If that don't pan out, then it'll be 180 to the 10th power, and at that point I won't give a crap how it turns out. 
I'll let you folks know how it goes.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

SailingSoloAgain said:


> I'm going forward with the anti-180 and hoping for a reconciliation. I know the 180 fans are cringing but this feels like the right thing to do. If I can't win her back with love then she's not the person I want to win back.
> I have been practicing singing 'you are so beautiful' (the joe karker song. not really karker but this site has something against joe ****er) for a week now. I cant sing to save my life but hopefully I can sing well enough to save my marriage. I'll record that and send it to her v Day in the morning.
> If that don't pan out, then it'll be 180 to the 10th power, and at that point I won't give a crap how it turns out.
> I'll let you folks know how it goes.


I did my own thing... showed remorse for not appreciating him, changed many things (and he noticed), quit griping things that I learned really bothered him for the first month. After that first month and many books read, I decided it wasn't working time to do something else... I's now been almost 3 wks of doing a soft 180, and he left the family/house. I have been doing a hard 180 and it seems it's being reciprocated. It's not getting better and I have many children to think about. I am not sold on the 180 and w/ not being able to work I don't know if it's working well on me either. 

Sailing, you know we are hoping it's something that will lift your spirits and turn things around for you all


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## Needin_help (Feb 11, 2012)

I understand your feelings. My wife told me on February 6th that she no longer wanted to be married. That was 2 days before my daughter's 5th birthday, 8 days before V-day and 5 weeks before our 11th anniversary. Just sucks... and I hate seeing all these happy-go-lucky love things. not sure what I am going to do on Tuesday. Probably just work and be alone as usual.


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## SailingSoloAgain (Feb 5, 2012)

I broke down and opened the card this morning. The text is in the "is it possible?" thread


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

SailingSoloAgain said:


> I broke down and opened the card this morning. The text is in the "is it possible?" thread


"Is it possible?" to .... be friends or to reconcile?

Ohhh I read your thread... sorry my eyes weren't quite open yet. 
Again...  it gives me hope that maybe someday...


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