# Finances



## buttersnips (Apr 17, 2012)

Finances 

Recently married, and our finances are a mess 

We are down to one car and our live's okay. I 'm not going to go on a pity party here.
However, we have been struggling together, and it is very difficult.
I am working on my credit in a program, and trying to keep things from self destructing.
He knows we need help, and at time's he's just not in the program.
Men need to know I think, that we are a team, and he has to be willing to work this out together. But at time's I feel as though 
he works against me, not with me.
As though we still dating-he acts independently, which leaves me in the dark, which is wrong.
How do you go about changing this before it's too late?

And there's the ex-who still wants money for past debt?

I just think sometime's that marriage is a money pit
and it ends up being something for the other person to blame the other person for doing!

I'd rather be single again


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

buttersnips said:


> Finances
> 
> Recently married, and our finances are a mess
> 
> ...


If you really would rather be single (IOW not just venting here) and he is picking up on that emotion, why would he NOT act independently? Why would he open up to you and be a team if he doesn't know you will be there tomorrow?

All the way in, or all the way out. That is from NMMNG but definitely applies here as well. Once you've made that decision, and assuming you choose to cherish your new husband, THEN you tackle the issue of oneness.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Not sure what kind of debt your EX thinks you have to pay him back for.... but if it's not something like child support... I'd tell him to **** OFF!!! As far as the other issues are concerned... have you ever communicated your feelings about the issue with him? Let him now how your feeling and how it's effecting you?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Gaia said:


> Not sure what kind of debt your EX thinks you have to pay him back for.... but if it's not something like child support... I'd tell him to **** OFF!!!


Maybe not - there could have been a division of debts along with a division of assets in the divorce settlement / order.

If you have debt when you divorce, it does not simply go away. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have no immediate money problems when they split up.


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