# I was a fat bride and I can't let it go.



## benjimom (Nov 9, 2011)

We've been married two years. I was a "fat bride" at my marriage and at the reception. I didn't even really participate all that much in my reception!!! I am so ashamed and I try to move on but I do have a lot of grief about this. I know I need counseling....I have a long history of depression and am currently depressed. It's chronic. I am currently on the Medifast diet, and maybe/hopefully when I am not fat anymore, I can start to heal. Thoughts?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Lose weight, and get new wedding photos!

I was a fat bride too....just had a baby. lol. My pics are...beautiful, but I was fat!

Try this site... Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal | MyFitnessPal.com

It has helped me lose a lot of weight this year. 

I don't recommend crash diets. Check into that site, it's just calories...check it out.

And....fix yourself now. Fat or thin, you'll be the same person with the same issues. You can lose fat, but you can't lose problems. Good luck!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

You have to work on your mental more than your physical. I know overweight women who can walk through the door and seize a room!!! Why??? Because of the way they carrry themselves. Losing the weight alone is not going to help your depression, sure it will make you feel a little bit better about yourself. But until you work on your overall self-esteem, its just a waste of time to channel all your power into you being fat.


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## allshookup (Nov 9, 2011)

I agree with the others, you need to get your head straight.

Thin doesn't equate to happy!

And how awesome that you got married when fat, that your hubby was more than happy to say his vows and marry his lovely wife regardless of weight. Please think on that to reassure yourself.

I was a 'fat' bride too, and my weight goes up and down. I have to lose 5stone now, which is coincidentally what my biggest dog weighs!! For very different reasons my wedding sort of passed me by. My dream is to renew our vows, and I want to plan every delicious inch of it, the canapes, the garden service, the ribbons, the pimms and lemonade, and have a beautiful flowing yellow chiffon dress, and and and..... that's the way I deal with it.

I understand depression, I live with it too, and it's really hard to break free of the circular thinking. Try some NLP or CBT as these can really help you in terms of adjusting your thought patterns. Also, practising mindfulness is awesome and really helps to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

I guess, at the end of the day, you are you, whether you have more or less fat, and it seems that it's become something to beat yourself up over. I really hope that you can find a way to kick it into touch and enjoy your marriage.

Take Care.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

As someone else said, thin doesn't equal happy (or necessarily healthy).

I am also wondering what you classify as being a "fat" bride. What makes you say that?

I would guess that your depression is at the root of your unhappiness. See a therapist, get some meds, stop drinking alcohol, and exercise every day for at least an hour (walking or anything else that gets you moving....it acts like an anti-depressant). Learning how to love and accept yourself is the key to happines.

By the way, diets don't work longterm for 95% of the people who do them because they don't address the reasons for overeating and they set up an unhealthy dynamic of deprivation, failure, self-hatred, and depression.


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## wickederthanyou (Oct 11, 2011)

:iagree:
I love me some Laurae, just sayin


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I don't think that being fat is the problem, but is a symptom of deeper issues like depression. I would get yourself to a good counselor. Start getting some sunlight, exercise, and appropriate social interaction.


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## Laura_ (Nov 16, 2011)

I feel that I have met my exact match. I cannot look at any of my wedding pictures without crying. I too was a "fat bride". On top of that, my dress wasn't tied properly so it looks like im spilling out of the top of it. It actually looks like it doesn't even fit. I feel humiliated that on the one day im supposed to look my best, I looked like a whale caught in a cream puff... =/. I too suffer with chronic depression and my wedding was a year ago and i still cannot bear to face them. On top of everything, i was diagnosed with firbromyalgia and the medication i was on made me gain even more weight. Believe me, i understand completely, and empathize to no end with you. IT is true though that your husband is just that for a reason my dear =). He loves you. The ONLY thing in the world that keeps me going IS my husband. We are very lucky though you know why? Because some people never find that kind of love. Some people may never get married. Fat or not, we were brides <3. You can definitely renew your vows darling, and have the dream day you wish you had, had from the beginning. Thats what i plan to do. Loosing weight is one of the most stressful things to have to deal with and if you need some help dont be afraid to ask for it. I hope you'll feel some comfort by this. Good luck health and happiness in your marriage. I am sending good karma your way =).


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