# my husband not showing remorse



## nola06 (Feb 27, 2010)

My story is sad, but true and I just discovered a week ago. My husband had an affair while i was 6 months pregnant with our second child. Unfortunately that wasn't enough, but my husband brought our 3 year old son into this mess which I'm not sure is forgivable. The other woman is our 3yr olds friend's mother. My son goes to school with her kid and now I have to see the woman and her kid on a daily basis which is tortuous. Approximately 2 months ago I started a "friendship" with this woman because our kids were friends and of course, little did i know that my husband had already slept with her. The whole situation is despicable and i can't believe it's happening to our family. My husband said the affair was over prior to the birth of our daughter in October of last year, but we just spent Valentine's day with the other woman and her 2 kids (she is currently going through a divorce.) My husband says that he just kept the connection with the other woman only because of the kids, but for obvious reasons cannot believe a word he says. Feel totally betrayed and need direction and feeling husband is justifying his actions because things weren't good in our marriage prior to all this happening....


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

nola06 said:


> My husband says that he just kept the connection with the other woman only because of the kids, but for obvious reasons cannot believe a word he says. Feel totally betrayed and need direction and feeling husband is justifying his actions because things weren't good in our marriage prior to all this happening....


I am sorry this has happened to you! A few things to note:

A) An affair _is_ a betrayal - so you are right to feel that way.

B) Nearly all affairs _are_ 'justified' because things aren't good in the marriage prior to the affair.

C) If those problems are not addressed, your marriage is vulnerable to more affairs and eventual destruction.

You need to talk to your husband about this. And most important - you need to stop all contact with the other woman immediately.

Resources:

Purpose of no contact.

How and why affairs occur.

Hope this helps you get your marriage on the road to recovery and more than that - to becoming immune to affairs.


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## MrsInPain (Feb 5, 2010)

I agree with Tan, the contact with the other woman MUST STOP. There really is no excuse to have her in your life. 

I have some questions:

Have you sat down and talked through with your husband how he will gain your trust again? 

Have you two discussed saving the marriage?

Are you willing/able to go to counseling?

If your marriage is worth saving and if you and your husband really are going to make this work, you must do whatever it takes. 

I wish you luck!


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