# How does the cheater feel about their AP now?



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This is a question inspired by another thread.

It's pretty clear that during an affair where there is a strong emotional connection between the AP's (affair partners), generally they feel that the other is their "soul mate" or some such thing.

My question can be answered both by people who were involved in affairs and those who were the BS and are aware of how their WS now sees the AP.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I felt/feel sorry for her. Yes, I know she was playing me (it transpired that she had wanted me as a father for her two children) but I still feel badly about what happened. She left town, heading back to her home town.

How do I know about how she wanted me as a father for her kids? Her daughter had met up with my wife (by chance) and the daughter said she was sorry about what happened, but her mother had told her children she was going to get me to be their new father.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You missed some options. I had two affair partners. One ended up as a reasonably good friend, when she wanted more of a relationship than I could offer her (she was separated). I provided a shoulder for her to cry on a couple times as she dated, and a guy's perspective. Eventually, she found someone, and we just stopped contacting each other. I hope she's doing well, but I won't contact her again because I don't want to disrupt her life.

My other partner... She was just after I told my wife I wanted out of the marriage, but before I moved out. She was recently divorced, and again, she wanted more than I was wanting to provide. She wasn't someone I saw a long term future with, and I just ended things with her. From my perspective, there was no hard feelings.

I never saw either one as a life partner, and although there was some emotional pain when the relationships ended, it didn't send me into a long funk or anything. They were like the end of virtually any other month long "dating" relationships.

C


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

I don't really know. I think she feels as if she lost her soul mate. She always defended him and refused to open up and answer my questions...I never got the truth from her. As far as I'm concerned...it never really ended. I have no prof that it did. I filed for D so I guess I don't really care anymore.

I'm sure it's all underground now and as soon as the divorce is final she will bring him out into the daylight for everyone to see.


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