# Can I forgive



## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

I am going to give a backstory:

I have been with my husband for 13 years, but we only got married 6 months ago. We have a preteen daughter so our life together has not been picture perfect, but we fully love our little family and it works. she is beautiful and happy and healthy and thriving in every way. I will not sit here and say we have had the most ideal relationship because knowing someone for that long we have had our issues. He cheated years ago and we were able to work through that and I was able to forgive. He has had a very hard life and has never had really anyone to love him. His dad is not around and his mother is a source of high anxiety for him. I have been the only consistent thing in his life.

A few days ago I found out that he cheated. The girl messaged me and told me she had no idea we were together. He told her that I abandoned our daughter and him awhile ago and was not in the picture. She sent me screen shots of text messages between them. He was using a text app so she didnt have his real number and they met on MeetMe. They had sex once (and the girl will not let me forget it) she has made multiple accounts to message me an remind me.

This hurt more than the first time he cheated. That was forgivable to me. We were young and life was scarier back then. This time was 6 months into our legal marriage. We have been happy. I would of never known if she didnt say anything because there were no flags. He went to work and came home and we would laugh and spend time with our daughter and spend time with eachother when she went to bed. I dont know how to work through the hurt to forgiveness. i dont know if its possible. i dont know if him saying he is sorry and apologizing and the excuse of him never knowing how to love after all the time we have been together because of his less than fortunate upbringing is forgiveable.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

YIKES...what a terrible betrayal for you to face...I'm so sorry...
Have you confronted him about it...? What was his response? Is the girl trying to get you to leave him...and how did she find out how to contact you if she never knew you were in the picture?

This sounds terrible, and if it were me, I'd confront him and be out of there the same day I found out, but you need to do what is best for YOU...although I will say that it's chilling that you would never have known...that means he could have cheated multiple times on you, and those women just never contacted you. If this is his pattern, can you live with him having this need to cheat and have sexual relationships with multiple women? Because I think that is HIM, for whatever reason, and he is unlikely to ever have an ability to be faithful. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with his love for you, it's just how he is. Can YOU live with THAT...??


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> YIKES...what a terrible betrayal for you to face...I'm so sorry...
> Have you confronted him about it...? What was his response? Is the girl trying to get you to leave him...and how did she find out how to contact you if she never knew you were in the picture?
> 
> This sounds terrible, and if it were me, I'd confront him and be out of there the same day I found out, but you need to do what is best for YOU...although I will say that it's chilling that you would never have known...that means he could have cheated multiple times on you, and those women just never contacted you. If this is his pattern, can you live with him having this need to cheat and have sexual relationships with multiple women? Because I think that is HIM, for whatever reason, and he is unlikely to ever have an ability to be faithful. It probably doesn't even have anything to do with his love for you, it's just how he is. Can YOU live with THAT...??


she messaged me on facebook and sent me their conversations. She found out because she was looking him up on there and clicked on his mothers facebook that has a profile picture of us on our wedding day. She is not trying to get me to leave him, but after our talk she reached out to him and proceeded to tell him that it was wrong for him to do what he did and she doesn't condone cheating, but if we are to get a divorce they can still be friends and he will always have a place to stay (i know it makes no sense to me either). he has blocked her and has not contacted her. I did confront him directly after I spoke with her about it and we sat and had a long conversation about it. He told me it wasnt suppose to happen like that and nothing did for a long time, but she kept pushing and eventually..it happened. he says he is sorry.our whole relationship he has been very dependent on me. We have one car and I have been a soul provider for a long time. He suffers from terrible social anxiety which is a result of his parents. Like I said his father has never really been in his life. His mother is a single mother of 4, my husband being the youngest and instead of loving and supporting him she sent him away to group homes because he was "acting out" and she didnt want to deal with it. Now she is just a constant source of tension so he has cut her out. So he has no one and hasnt for a long time; until he met me. This is his reason for doing it. He says it is because no one else has stuck around and there is no reason for me to and I am going to leave him one day anyways. In his heart he knows I love him, but in his head he doesnt believe it. So in our conversation i told him it feels like now he has been here for convience. I have made life so much easier for him given the alternative that for him to just leave would be stupid, but he wants to "have his cake and eat it to". And I cant sort out if given the betrayel if I am fighting for us because I feel responsible for him not to fail because he is my daughters father or if I can forgive and continue to love him


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

You absolutely can, and should, forgive your husband... _but_, forgiveness does not equal reconciliation. You can forgive someone and not stay with them. Forgiveness is for YOU, not the person who betrayed or harmed you. So, in time, you absolutely should forgive and move on (with or without him) simply because it's best and healthiest for you.

I think what you're really asking is if you are able to move forward with him and have a good, happy, loving relationship. The answer is still, "yes". However it is a long, hard journey and it takes a lot of work. Work that has to come from both sides. If he is unwilling or unable to put in the work to build a new marriage, then it won't work out regardless of how much you want it to. The same goes for you, btw, though he does have to do a lot of the heavy lifting in the beginning.

Your husband apologizing (for being caught), blaming the OW (how typical), and using excuses is NOT good enough. It's not. Words, especially a cheaters words, are meaningless. You need to see actions and real change before you should even consider reconciling with him.

So maybe he is sorry... what is he _doing_ about it? Is he going to therapy to work on his issues? Has he written you a full timeline of events? Has he confessed to _everything _or just what you know? And on, and on. There are a lot of things he could be _doing... _talk is cheap.

Something you need to consider is that it's possible the cheating never stopped... You know that he cheated "years ago", and you know that he cheated recently. It's entirely possible that he was cheating all along. This just happens to be the only time he was _caught. _

As for the OW, tell her to stop contacting you or will be reporting her for harassment. She has said what she needed to, there is no need for her to keep contacting you.


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

Has your husband had any therapy for his Fear of Abandonment issues?

I'm assuming that's what he struggles with.

How many other women has he been talking to on this dating app (for that is what it's often used for)?

To have the app in the first place means that he has been looking for women to chat to, and hope to meet.

I'm not sure you have the full truth yet.

Do you mother him? It's just that you seem very concerned about how poorly he was treated in the past. 
Even more concerned about his past treatment by others, than you are about how badly he has treated yourself.
His past life is not an excuse to then mistreat you.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

AALTERO said:


> I feel responsible for him not to fail


Your husband is responsible for himself and his own life, just like you are responsible for you and your own life. He is an adult and mental illness or not, he has to take care of himself and look out for himself. Trust me, I understand what it's like to be married to someone with mental illness, social anxiety, and FOO issues. But those are HIS battles to face. You can be there to support and encourage him, but you are not responsible for him.

You seem to be enabling him (not working) and you are making A LOT of excuses for him here. And I get it, it's easy to do, but none of those are valid excuses. They can help with the backstory, and are relevant in that sense, but he still had other options that didn't involve cheating.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

EveningThoughts said:


> Has your husband had any therapy for his Fear of Abandonment issues?
> 
> I'm assuming that's what he struggles with.
> 
> ...


I don't believe I mother him, but I get why it sounds like it I even thought that typing it, but no. I do have a strong wants for him to fail. I think with that aspect I am looking at it as our daughter is so used to things and I don't want her to see the bad part of him or im not really sure how to put it. I know she isnt the excuse to use because I understand my happiness affects her as well. its just half my life so I feel like half my life has been a lie and I was expecting signs. I was expecting like...him distancing or making excuses to not be home, but there was none of that so him hiding it so well terrifies me and knowing that i know i dont have the whole truth. but saying it out loud, or rather typing it i can see i am for sure letting his personal issues affect how i am handling it


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

bobert said:


> Your husband is responsible for himself and his own life, just like you are responsible for you and your own life. He is an adult and mental illness or not, he has to take care of himself and look out for himself. Trust me, I understand what it's like to be married to someone with mental illness, social anxiety, and FOO issues. But those are HIS battles to face. You can be there to support and encourage him, but you are not responsible for him.
> 
> You seem to be enabling him (not working) and you are making A LOT of excuses for him here. And I get it, it's easy to do, but none of those are valid excuses. They can help with the backstory, and are relevant in that sense, but he still had other options that didn't involve cheating.


I have always felt like I needed to understanding of the mental illness because it is a part of who he is, bu actually talking it out I am for sure making excuses to "reflect" the issues because of it. I have always told him he is not defined by his past, but he is throwing it in my face now to guilt in way? like you did a bad thing but its ok because your not stable. it helps to see all the views and not just my broken heart one so I appreciate it. He has agreed to go to independent and couples therapy. I just have been bottling all this up inside all week because I have not spoken about it to anyone


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

AALTERO said:


> He has agreed to go to independent and couples therapy.


So, great that he has agreed to go to IC. Time will tell if he actually _wants_ to change or not. If he doesn't really, really want it, it will never work unfortunately. 

As for MC (couple counseling), not right now. There is a time and place for MC but this isn't the time. First he needs to work on himself. You need to be two (reasonably) healthy people coming together _and _two people who have decided to reconcile. Right now, neither of those things are true. 

So for now, no MC. 

Just as an example, my wife's affairs started coming out in Nov 2018, and we didn't start MC until March 2019. In between those two dates she started extensive therapy for her mental illness, past traumas and FOO issues.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

just curious did you remain under the same roof together during this time or did you live seperately? and in either case did it help you personally heal doing it that way?


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

AALTERO said:


> just curious did you remain under the same roof together during this time or did you live seperately? and in either case did it help you personally heal doing it that way?


we have been having him come home after work and staying until our daughter is in bed and then he is at his brothers.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

AALTERO said:


> just curious did you remain under the same roof together during this time or did you live seperately? and in either case did it help you personally heal doing it that way?


Both. We were under the same roof but in different bedrooms for the first two months. After that she spent quite a bit of time hospitalized for mental health reasons, so we were not under the same roof. 

I think both situations have pros and cons. If you make the most of your time apart (ie, really work on you and figure out what you need) then that can be very useful. It can be hard to think clearly, move on/forward, see what life would be like without them, etc. when you see them all the time.

If he has the ability to be out of the house for a while, that would probably be for the best. It gives you the time and space that you need.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

AALTERO said:


> she messaged me on facebook and sent me their conversations. She found out because she was looking him up on there and clicked on his mothers facebook that has a profile picture of us on our wedding day. She is not trying to get me to leave him, but after our talk she reached out to him and proceeded to tell him that it was wrong for him to do what he did and she doesn't condone cheating, but if we are to get a divorce they can still be friends and he will always have a place to stay (i know it makes no sense to me either). he has blocked her and has not contacted her. I did confront him directly after I spoke with her about it and we sat and had a long conversation about it. He told me it wasnt suppose to happen like that and nothing did for a long time, but she kept pushing and eventually..it happened. he says he is sorry.our whole relationship he has been very dependent on me. We have one car and I have been a soul provider for a long time. He suffers from terrible social anxiety which is a result of his parents. Like I said his father has never really been in his life. His mother is a single mother of 4, my husband being the youngest and instead of loving and supporting him she sent him away to group homes because he was "acting out" and she didnt want to deal with it. Now she is just a constant source of tension so he has cut her out. So he has no one and hasnt for a long time; until he met me. This is his reason for doing it. He says it is because no one else has stuck around and there is no reason for me to and I am going to leave him one day anyways. In his heart he knows I love him, but in his head he doesnt believe it. So in our conversation i told him it feels like now he has been here for convience. I have made life so much easier for him given the alternative that for him to just leave would be stupid, but he wants to "have his cake and eat it to". And I cant sort out if given the betrayel if I am fighting for us because I feel responsible for him not to fail because he is my daughters father or if I can forgive and continue to love him


I'm having trouble understanding something...WHY does someone put a secret (from you) profile on MeetMe, and then blame the girl he meets for pushing him into cheating...? That sounds like a lie right from the beginning of his explanation. She is the only woman who you know he cheated with, because she is the only woman who contacted you. I would say that you cannot believe a single thing he tells you about this - his only interest is in protecting HIMSELF. 

As a matter of fact, it sounds like for your entire relationship, his only interest has been in getting what HE wants, no matter the risk. You listed a whole bunch of "issues" he has...and that IS sad for him, and I'm sure it's possible that is the reason for his inability to be faithful, but that only means you will never be able to trust him! You are using his difficult life as a justification for what he's done (and so is he), but even if that's true, that only means he is a slave to his urges, and you and your relationship will be the collateral damage of him pursuing what HE wants as long as you are with him.

Is that REALLY what you want...??

You know what...? When my kids were little, I also depended fully on my husband and needed him in order to have the life that I wanted...so do you know what I did...?? I spent as much time as I could taking care of him and loving him completely so he would know how much I appreciated him giving me the life I wanted...and I did it generously, with joy, so he never questioned my loyalty and love for him. Your husband is doing the opposite -- don't you think, if he really and truly VALUED you, that he would be much more focused on you and wanting to love you and make you happy??

If you have ANY chance at all, and if he is truly serious about committing to you and your marriage, you both need to get into marriage counseling as soon as possible, and HE needs separate counseling for his issues, and I'm sure you would benefit from individual counseling as well.

Unless he can show you with concrete actions that he is trying to fix his commitment problem, then I can't think of any reason that you should forgive and trust him ever again.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

bobert said:


> As for MC (couple counseling), not right now. There is a time and place for MC but this isn't the time. First he needs to work on himself. You need to be two (reasonably) healthy people coming together _and _two people who have decided to reconcile. Right now, neither of those things are true.
> 
> So for now, no MC.


I know why you believe this is best, but I think I disagree...
I think marriage counseling now (along with individual counseling) will help her work through her feelings of betrayal, and help her be able to express herself in a safe, objective environment with him. I wouldn't say the marriage counseling should be to attempt any type of reconciliation, but a place to find validation for her feelings and to learn successful ways to communicate with her husband.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

LisaDiane said:


> I know why you believe this is best, but I think I disagree...
> I think marriage counseling now (along with individual counseling) will help her work through her feelings of betrayal, and help her be able to express herself in a safe, objective environment with him. I wouldn't say the marriage counseling should be to attempt any type of reconciliation, but a place to find validation for her feelings and to learn successful ways to communicate with her husband.


Marriage counseling, by nature, is typically for the marriage. Right now they really don't have a marriage. 

She can learn better communication methods in IC. She can also have her feelings validated in IC. The IC can give her work to do at home as well.

It's also possible for her husband to join her IC sessions, on occasion when the IC thinks it would be beneficial. That way the focus is still on the OP, not them as a couple (which may or may not exist going forward). 

So I stand by what I said, no MC right now. Of the several therapists I've been to, all agree with that. Of course, the OP has to make her own decisions.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Of course he doesn't want you upset. He's a kept man. 
He went to MeetME. He signed up, He was there for a purpose.
No one forced him to have sex. No one forced him to say you weren't in the picture.

He planned to meet someone and have a relationship without you. 
He did that but got caught by the other woman he was lying to.

He should be right that you are going to leave him. Not because of some mythical childhood abandonment theory but because he is a cheater.
He treated you poorly and he is trying to deflect all responsibility for his actions.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

and thats what i told him. "You want your cake and eat it, too".


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

The real question is what are you going to do? 
What do you want to do?

He isn't appropriately remorseful for his actions which means they will likely be repeated. 
You are supporting him. Do you feel it is fair?
Obviously most people want to be in a loving relationship but that isn't what you have.

Do you fear being able to find someone who can treat you the way you deserve?


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

bobert said:


> Marriage counseling, by nature, is typically for the marriage. Right now they really don't have a marriage.
> 
> She can learn better communication methods in IC. She can also have her feelings validated in IC. The IC can give her work to do at home as well.
> 
> ...


Well, like I said, I know why you think no MC is best...and I would agree with you in some situations.
But I know from experience that 45minutes once a week (or less) of individual counseling isn't as effective for helping communication for your marriage as being together with a trained, objective person to mediate and guide you.
Especially if there is any part of communicating your feelings or needs with your partner that is intimidating for you - being in a safe space with a counselor you trust can be freeing and healing!!
IC is great to help with ways to communicate with anyone, MC is great to learn how to communicate within your marriage.

But that is up to YOU and what YOU need, OP...if you feel like you can express yourself and hold your husband accountable on your own, without a counselor's help to guide you in the moment, then you can focus on individual counseling alone.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> The real question is what are you going to do?
> What do you want to do?
> 
> He isn't appropriately remorseful for his actions which means they will likely be repeated.
> ...


I have been supporting him yes. recently we have been in the position where we have hit where we have been aiming for for so long. Like I stated we have been together half our lives. To dive in deeper a little I had my daughter when I was 20. We both worked but once I had her he worked 2 jobs so I could be home with her and life was rough, but we did it. Now he has a good job and so do I and we have really beat the odds. I believe that it is only not fair, but a complete slap in the face for every time I have had his back and been his rock when times got rough. 

I have, and I know it might not seem like it, but I have always prided myself on being a strong person. I have lived on my own and taken care of my daughter on my own (with my husband so not on my own, but we dont have much outside help) and climbed to where I am today in my career and life with minimal help. I don't fear finding someone who can treat me the way I deserve, I don't even fear being alone and doing it as a single mother I am more than capable and I fully believe that. What I do fear is that I am 30 and half my life I have spent with a person who has made me so unbelievably happy, made me feel so beautiful and cheered me on (because he has) has been a fake facade and I didnt even see it and I made this perfect picture in my head that wasnt there and that I will never be able to forgive him whether we go through therapy and it works or it doesnt.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Well, like I said, I know why you think no MC is best...and I would agree with you in some situations.
> But I know from experience that 45minutes once a week (or less) of individual counseling isn't as effective for helping communication for your marriage as being together with a trained, objective person to mediate and guide you.
> Especially if there is any part of communicating your feelings or needs with your partner that is intimidating for you - being in a safe space with a counselor you trust can be freeing and healing!!
> IC is great to help with ways to communicate with anyone, MC is great to learn how to communicate within your marriage.
> ...


i do think i need my own therapy. like i said its half my life invested in this relationship and there is A LOT that I need to work through myself as far as forgiving and all that. And I do think with the mental illnesses (he is diagnosed as mild bipolar and high anxiety) and probably some other things with abandonment. I appreciate all the input especially with dealing with the mental illness side. obviously, never been married before so thank you all for helping me categorize what is my upset feelings away from what is really in front of me.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Well this is his second time cheating so if I were you I'd be worried about spending the rest of my life wondering if it will happen again.

It can be tempting to forgive and forget because before you knew there was so much happiness. But usually without some work on his part it will just be repeated.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

AALTERO said:


> *I have, and I know it might not seem like it, but I have always prided myself on being a strong person.* I have lived on my own and taken care of my daughter on my own (with my husband so not on my own, but we dont have much outside help) and climbed to where I am today in my career and life with minimal help. I don't fear finding someone who can treat me the way I deserve, I don't even fear being alone and doing it as a single mother I am more than capable and I fully believe that. What I do fear is that I am 30 and half my life I have spent with a person who has made me so unbelievably happy, made me feel so beautiful and cheered me on (because he has) has been a fake facade and I didnt even see it and I made this perfect picture in my head that wasnt there and that I will never be able to forgive him whether we go through therapy and it works or it doesnt.


Oh no...it comes through very clearly, even from your original post, that you are a very strong person!!!

But your feelings about having a false image in your head of your relationship (and him), and wondering if you will ever forgive him, are all completely NORMAL -- you are coming to terms with the reality of your relationship, and grieving the loss of the beautiful dream you thought you had. It's a difficult, painful thing to go through!!! You don't need to pressure yourself to forgive him or to stay with him at all right now...just go through the feelings and try to remember that none of this is YOUR fault - you don't deserve this at all!!! And it is NOT on YOU to fix it or resolve any of it.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Brava, @LisaDiane. 

He sounds like a bit of a con man--knows how to get the end he desires. This also means he is untrustworthy and not genuine. THIS makes you @AALTERO feel even moreso the void left by his betrayal. You do not know who he is nor what he stands for because he has been deceptive and 'used' you.

Do not let him guilt you or influence your choices.

I would look forward, not back. It took him 12 years to marry you--why, if he was so happy? What do you want in your future? (He can find another honey to take care of him.) Do you want your daughter to use his integrity or lack thereof as her standard? 

You are strong--I have been in similar shoes to yours. Taking charge of your life now is NOT failure. You are young and have character and compassion. Take a DEEP breath what you decide now is huge...


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

This man has crapped on you so many times. He is lying to you about the last affair, he initiated it. Why are you still with him. You are young and can get someone who will respect you.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

aine said:


> This man has crapped on you so many times. He is lying to you about the last affair, he initiated it. Why are you still with him. You are young and can get someone who will respect you.


Yes he has lied and following up on another comment about enabling him i do. i never realized this before but upon speaking to my therapist who pointed out that anytime i say anything about him i add a "but" insert justification when there is none. its crazy how one persons actions can make me question myself as a wife and mother and women in general which i have decided to work on and fix on my own. and as far as him we talked and i have told him i cant fix him or this until he fixes himself and i cant hold his hand while he does it. so, just focusing on our daughter and work so i can keep my head clear until the next step


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

AALTERO said:


> its crazy how one persons actions can make me question myself as a wife and mother and women in general


Try to keep in mind that your husband's infidelity has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and how he sees himself.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

yes i have been telling myself that in the mirror for the past two days as a boost i guess. his appointment is next week and i know he is not happy about it because he is not the biggest believer in therapy. but if an attempt and to follow through with it is not made that is a definite deal breaker at this point. i had my 3 days of feeling crappy about myself and the situation and i know therapy will bring up awful feelings but i do not want to go back to that fully


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

AALTERO said:


> I am going to give a backstory:
> 
> I have been with my husband for 13 years, but we only got married 6 months ago. We have a preteen daughter so our life together has not been picture perfect, but we fully love our little family and it works. she is beautiful and happy and healthy and thriving in every way. I will not sit here and say we have had the most ideal relationship because knowing someone for that long we have had our issues. He cheated years ago and we were able to work through that and I was able to forgive. He has had a very hard life and has never had really anyone to love him. His dad is not around and his mother is a source of high anxiety for him. I have been the only consistent thing in his life.
> 
> ...


So he has cheated on you at least twice that you know of?

You can forgive him. Yes. But is he forgivable?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Let’s get real... he is dead weight and a mental termite on your life. Drop the weight and call Terminex. It will be the best thing you ever did for yourself.


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## AALTERO (Jun 25, 2020)

That’s a hard question and one I am not able to answer yet so I’m hoping therapy is going to help me straighten my heart wants to say yes but my head says no way it depends how seriously he’s taking his side of therapy right now it’s still so fresh for me even though I’m sure to him its not as fresh since he’s apparently been living a life I didn’t know about


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Therapist takes time. Is there enough substance in him to search for?

Stop making excuses. 

Ask him to come clean about IT ALL. Then multiply that by 100.

Hold on, be strong, whatever your decision.


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## Violet28 (Oct 4, 2018)

Do you want to forgive him? If he cheated a time when everything was going well in your marriage, can you trust him not to cheat when things are not going well? What if you get sick, can you trust to be faithful and take care of you if you can't take of yourself? That thought always goes through my mind when I'm 'evaluating' a man, would I trust the decisions he'd make for me if I couldn't make my own. Most of the time the answer is no.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

AALTERO said:


> and thats what i told him. "You want your cake and eat it, too".



Exactly, so what are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep him and show your daughter that this is how she can expect to be treated by the man in her life in future. What role model are you setting for your daughter. Your WH is a lousy leach, kick him to the kerb, why would you waste any energy on someone who doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, only excuses and cheats on you not once, but many times. You seem to allow him to place the blame on everyone else. If he is capable of signing up to Meetme and getting off with someone, lying about it, then he is capable of GTFO, finding a job and sorting his **** out. Divorce him sooner than later, why do you think so little of yourself to put up with that? you are only 30, can meet someone decent and live a good life.


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