# Mismatched plus compromise



## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

I have read a few posts which clearly describe mismatch sexual needs as a problem, which it is. I just need to add that we had the same needs near enough but we were still mismatched in that I am needy of him in the early morning and he is needy of me in the late evening. 

This has been the case from the onset. The first few years it was not a problem as we did not have children and could go to bed at whatever time. Then with children you plan your day a bit more. We go to bed early and he wants some nice attention. Early morning I want some. 

This is a mismatch that needs sorting. He also works further and has to leave earlier and if he goes before we do anything, Its frustrating. If we sleep without its frustrating for him. 

The compromise was both times but different days. But a lot of discussion and understanding.


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## bikermehound (Mar 24, 2017)

so sounds like you two are opposites just like us 

Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

bikermehound said:


> so sounds like you two are opposites just like us
> 
> Sent from my SM-N920P using Tapatalk


How do you deal with it? Does it cause problems?


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

MaiChi said:


> The compromise was both times but different days.


At times we have an AM/PM mismatch, 68 works for us fairly well. Why do you say “was”?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

68?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

My wife was a serious morning person. Me? Nope. Serious night owl.

Not only is she not interested in sex after 9pm, shes not even conscious at that time. 

So I learned to "rise and shine." 

I guess that was a "compromise" inasmuch as I wanted more sex and she was more willing to provide if it got with her time of day.

On weekends, we'd generally compromise time wise with a little afternoon delight.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

CharlieParker said:


> At times we have an AM/PM mismatch, 68 works for us fairly well. Why do you say “was”?


I say was because it is not much of a problem as it was then. These days we both know each other's preferences so the expectation is both times. 

When we were starting off (the bonding years as we call them) Its like sex is the only activity to participate in and apart from stoppages caused by cystitis and times of the month or illness, its a rat race and always seemed like a desperate cure, rough and frequent, day and night. 
These days we discuss it and sometime it is gentler. a lot more meaningful and done with confidence and taking longer. 

The mismatch is still there but it is well understood and worked round.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> My wife was a serious morning person. Me? Nope. Serious night owl.
> 
> Not only is she not interested in sex after 9pm, shes not even conscious at that time.
> 
> ...


there must be more of us morning people. I shall have to research it somehow. I have to have early morning, usually around half past five. I need to fall asleep again after.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> 68?


I'll do you now, you'll get me later. Or vice versa.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

CharlieParker said:


> I'll do you now, you'll get me later. Or vice versa.


Thanks. Makes sense.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I have had many a girlfriend tell me that if her husband could come home for lunch he'd be getting laid every day. Not sure if that would actually happen, but I will say that my desire does start to wane the later and later it gets each day. Around lunchtime I'd be thinking "I'd really like to attack him when he gets home this evening" which, of course, never happened because of the kids and by the time bedtime rolled around the thought was gone and all I wanted was to sleep. Based on conversations with many women over the years, I think this is true for a lot of us.

On the other hand, I have a guy friend who comes home every day for lunch with his wife. He's been waiting YEARS for his wife to answer the door naked. Still hasn't happened. I remember dating a guy many years ago and he told me that he really, really wanted to come home from work and find me naked and waiting. Such an easy request to fulfill, so I did and we had an awesome evening. I feel bad for my friend.


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