# Past relationships and Your computer.



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

More of a PSA than anything else.

I will relate a personal story..

I do computer forensics for a living. I would consider myself a bit more than just tech savvy.

I'm not fat, but neither am I skinny.. Semi flat stomach but not tight.. Need to work out for sure.. 

I'm not a bad looking guy and my smile, flirty nature and being a wisea$$ works very well for me with woman.

The current G.F. has dated body builders in the past. Long and short body wise they blow me away.. Even I am not a fool to dispute that. It seems she has dated at least 3 if not 4. 

I understand woman are very different then men. The current G.F. loves me. My contact on her phone is my picture in my dress uniform during a promotion and labeled the love of my life.. It can't be more announced than that I think to anyone around her.

She asked me to look at her computer and I ended up finding MANY pictures from past relationships and guys who might have sent her pictuers from online dating sites and maybe other guys she might have had a date or two in the past.

One man in particular stands out as I know he was her "rebound" about 2 1/2 years ago and it lasted about 1 year. He of course is a bodybuilder and personal trainer. 

Again I know women are different than men as my wife left me for someone older, shorter and of extremely less financially successful. So I know its not about looks or money with women or at least some. 

I can't help to be honest thinking about her with him sometimes when we make love. Its sort of an insecurity or intimidation I get. Again I am rational to know its retarded, but just can't help it. 

But what I can say is this. I have never seen any pictures of old boyfriends from previous relationships and I think that is what has thrown me off. 

Also looking at pictures on her computer has also thrown me off my game. Again nothing bad. No one was naked.. No penis pictures. At most a selfie of a man in his underwear. But I would have to say there were many, copies of images. Pictures of her again not nude ( think bikini style here ) but that I know she has sent out.

She felt uncomfortable as well having me see these pictures and asked me to stop and I did. 

Weeks later she tells me I deleted all those pictures and it took me 2 days to do it. You can look now and not find a single picture. 

I said are you sure ? Because I know I will.. 

I don't need to tell you that I did and she freaked out. I told her don't let a computer expert look at your computer and think stuff is gone. 

She can see it puts me tense. I admit it and can't hide it. It reads all over my face.. 
Even I told her, look I'm no body builder, it seems your out of your realm here. 

She wasn't calling me fat.. But did state she never dated a heavy set man before and wasn't calling me heavy set either. But I told her I used to be fat and heavy set.. She has seen pictures of me from my past. Of course my fear is reverting back to that state. Not because of her, for own well being.

So I think much of my issues, insecurities and mind movies are from seeing pictures on her computer. She is one of those users that knows how to email but has no clue about computers and such. Pictures go where ever, documents go where ever and everything is on the desktop. 

So with all of this I would suggest to those out here. Don't let your new BF or GF on your computer unless you know EXACTLY WTF you have on it.


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

Good advice, and I'd also add: don't go looking on a potential GF's or BF's computer unless you're prepared for what you might see.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

angelpixie said:


> Good advice, and I'd also add: don't go looking on a potential GF's or BF's computer unless you're prepared for what you might see.


Yes, this. I have no idea why you felt you needed to seek out all those pictures of exes and dates and whatever else. She had a life before you, and pics of it are on her computer. She even tried to delete them to the best of her non-techie ability so that you wouldn't stress out about it anymore. 

The only pic that matters is the one of YOU labeled "love of my life." Don't discount that in favor of your insecurities. Value that more than any old pictures of people who are no longer in her life or heart.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

norajane said:


> Yes, this. I have no idea why you felt you needed to seek out all those pictures of exes and dates and whatever else. She had a life before you, and pics of it are on her computer. She even tried to delete them to the best of her non-techie ability so that you wouldn't stress out about it anymore.
> 
> *The only pic that matters is the one of YOU labeled "love of my life." Don't discount that in favor of your insecurities. Value that more than any old pictures of people who are no longer in her life or heart.*


Perfect.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

So you were hoping she had no life before she met you? If you get married does she have to toss out all those old photo albums or keepsakes from her past? Erase her memories somehow? 

I think she went above and beyond trying to delete all those pictures, boy you sure taught her a lesson by still digging some out. One step closer to the exit for you my friend, people who search for bad will always find it and never understand why things never work out for them.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

I think you said she asked you to look at her computer? 

I'm going to try to put a positive spin on this. You showed your insecurities. She got to see that. Now, turn that into some motivation to better yourself. She's with you and not those other fellas for a reason. But, if you are insecure about it then that is on you. Means you aren't comfortable and happy with your own appearance. You lack confidence in yourself. You can choose to fix that and figure out what you need to do to make yourself happy or you can choose to allow it to affect you in a negative way and project that onto your gal. 

Your choice. I would hit the darn gym hardcore if I were you and worry about fixing yourself first.


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