# Who has the longest marriage on TAM?



## Riverside MFT

Is there anyone here who has been married over 40 years? 50 years? 60 years?


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## annagarret

Oh, I thought we might have something, we have been together for 26 years , married for 19 . Sorry.


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## BigToe

Together 29, married 25.


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## Runs like Dog

31. It only feels like 2,315


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## Clinging

31 years - doesn't look like we will make it to 32


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## meson

Only 21 years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous

Together 29 , married 21+


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## cherokee96red

Married 23, together 25. Was planning to renew vows for 25th anniversary, guess that won't be happening mow.


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## Mrs.G

8 months! :rofl: Together for four years. Such a long time, huh? 
:lol::lol:

Just because someone has a long marriage, it doesn't mean it is happy. People stay together out of desperation, because of being "too old" to get divorced and the all time favorite, because of the children.

Still others stay together because they are religious and feel that marriage is an unbreakable covenant with God.


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## unhappy still

40 years


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## Whatshisname

Together 29, married 22.


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## michzz

Runs like Dog said:


> 31. It only feels like 2,315


Same here


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## code7600

Together 38. Married 31.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF

28 years and loving it!


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## Kauaiguy

Just divorced but married for 33 Years.


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## VeryHurt

Married 28.......not sure if 29 is an option !!!


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## Pandakiss

together since june[?] 1993............married sept 2000


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## Nickitta

Personally I am only interested in the longevity of any marriage if it is a happy marriage. What's the point of 40 years of misery? 

My own parents stayed together 50 years (from the age of 17 to 67) until my mother died.  Unfortunately although the marriage was long it was dreadfully unhappy.


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## Mrs.G

Nickitta said:


> Personally I am only interested in the longevity of any marriage if it is a happy marriage. What's the point of 40 years of misery?
> 
> My own parents stayed together 50 years (from the age of 17 to 67) until my mother died. Unfortunately although the marriage was long it was dreadfully unhappy.


:iagree::iagree:


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## Mr. Nail

almost 23


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## Threetimesalady

Hi Brian: We are in all phases of life a success...and yes, I am going to add something that happened this morning that warms my heart...

We will be married 53 years this November...I adore him...He was in the Navy and we went together two years before we wed...During that two years and up to our wedding we saw each other only 47 days...The early days were rough as we didn't really know each other that well...He had to deal with a spoiled brat and I had to learn to shut my mouth...Unfortunately, I am still learning this...

In all as of tonight:

18,824 Days

451,752 Hours

26,818,080 Minutes

1,609,084,800 Seconds

And may I add that these have been the best years of my life...I am the luckiest woman in the world...Take care...


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## Mrs.G

:lol::lol: I have to learn to shut my trap too. I am too argumentative sometimes. My husband has the patience of a saint...he will just calmly tell me to speak to him politely or not at all. 

I hope that my marriage lasts as long as yours.


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## Threetimesalady

Hi Mrs.G....I am sure it will...It's funny as yesterday afternoon we were laying down on the bed just resting with the puppies when I commented to my husband that he never gets stressed or super PO like I do...I added to this that over the years that I think I have learned to control my machine gun mouth that speaks first and thinks after....He commented that the only time in life that he really was stressed was his last year at work...He had enough...Just plain tired...Then he added as far as me that I had learned to control my temper, but still had a short fuse to conquer....I figure that is between a B- and a C+...:scratchhead:

With God as my witness, I will never understand why he picked me out of all the women he could have had...I love him more than my own life...My best to you and your hubby.....C


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## cherrypie18

Wow so many people have been married for soooooo long...I almost feel as if I gave up too soon lol

It must be difficult to separate after being married for 20+ years..


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## mayatatia

known for 35 years.... dated 4yrs.... barried...ooops i mean married 24yrs.... but who's counting?:scratchhead:


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## canduojiu

Was planning to renew vows for 25th anniversary, guess that won't be happening mow.


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## GrannyMildew

44 years together; married 42. Three Times A Lady, you have us all beat. Congrats and wishes for many, many more!


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## ifweonly

Well, I just have to chime in here and sorry if it sounds like I am boasting -- I am not really. We met summer of 1961 and six months later (between semester break) we got married. Wife had a 4 year fully paid scholarship (Indiana U) and gave it up to move to West Lafayette, IN to marry me while I finished school. 

We will celebrate our 53rd anniversary January 20, 2015. Marriage is not a walk in the park but you may not believe that we are very much in love -- maybe more so than ever before! So we are not together today because of the kids, money or anything else but only for each other. 

We Love, honor & obey, it has been better & worse, have been richer & poorer, had sickness & health and are both very much alive! It has been a GREAT walk!!!!!!:smthumbup:


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## MedicWifeMom

We have been married for a year and 2 months. We are just starting off but the road is rocky  Hoping to make it to 50 happy years together, just not sure if it's going to happy


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## TDSC60

We have been married 42 years. 

My wife will talk to anyone about anything. She enjoys talking. 

I am just the opposite. I usually keep my mouth shut and listen. 

Maybe that is why we made it so long. 

We have had our ups and downs as with any couple, but we are both still happy with each other.

At least I am - she won't shut up long enough for me to ask her how she feels about out life together.


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## Lancer

wow, great to see all of these long term marriages!


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## Threetimesalady

GrannyMildew said:


> 44 years together; married 42. Three Times A Lady, you have us all beat. Congrats and wishes for many, many more!


Hi GrannyMildew: What a pleasant surprise it was in my first time revisiting this site and finding this thread...Your post made it very special...My sincere thanks to you...

Next month we will celebrate our 56 years together...Happy, God only knows...Our love is more passionate and deeper than it has ever been...Years have added to our closeness...For some reason these older years are like magic...The only problem is the worry we have for each other...Sometimes I really don't know if I could live without him...This is my secret that I keep within that tears me apart...

I believe older people in love can make time stand still...This is what we have done...We are like each other's guardian...If one turns over in his/her sleep and a sound prevails that they are uncomfortable, the other senses this...This is the part of life I do not understand...That and the fact that this older age that I have acquired means nothing...It as if age has passed me by...Bones and body age, but my mind races forward and for some reason this has halted my actually looking older....Maybe it's because I am so happy, or all part of learning life and understanding yourself...

Since I did the above post our statistics have changed...They now are:

Married: 20,385 Days

489,240 Hours

29,354,400 Minutes

176,122,640,000 Seconds

In all honesty we have never had any problem in our marriage...We are just so alike, yet different, that we are a great combination...So often I have referred to us as Allie and Noah in "The Notebook" and truly I am not too far off...After all these years he just plain drives me wild...Now to all the older women, don't ever think that what you feel sexually dies off...Believe me, it doesn't....and I will add that I am the catalyst in keeping him young and he loves it...

The one and only thing that threated our marriage and he said he wouldn't tolerate and would leave me (and thank God he did) was when our oldest child was around 13 or 14 was that if I let my Mother stick her nose into the bringing up of the other two as she had done with our first that he would leave me...He was right...Unfortunately, I was young and kind of a puppet and suffered for this mistake...

My best to you and your husband...Honey, forget your yesterdays...They can't be changed...Concentrate on today...It's much better than you think....All my love to you...Caroline...


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## Zouz

A great post !

Threetimesalady : wow ; wow ; I won't lie ; when I red your post ,





I cried ,

why 


Because if I had a dream , it will be to care and be cared of ....


Take care ...

You and your Hub are unique , God bless you .


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## Threetimesalady

Zouz said:


> A great post !
> 
> Threetimesalady : wow ; wow ; I won't lie ; when I red your post ,
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I cried ,
> 
> why
> 
> 
> Because if I had a dream , it will be to care and be cared of ....
> 
> 
> Take care ...
> 
> You and your Hub are unique , God bless you .


Hi Zouz...Thank you so much for your wonderful reply...I don't know if a person knows this or not, but when you reach near 78 years old and still feel such a need by your partner (who is near 79) and especially after all these years, it can overwhelm you....We were great lovers when we were young, but you find that when you reach these ages that the eyes alone can tell each other a story...They seem to awaken the soul and nature takes over...These being all the new discoveries of this age in life....

This morning he had to take one of our twin Yorkies to the Vet for a early minor surgery...He left early and stopped on the way back for coffee and a roll...This he did so the other twin would not have him eat in front of him...He fed him after he had taken his sister to the Vet....He lets me sleep late...I am a night owl...This morning I got up at 11 and here in our Guest Room where I have my computer set up he had my breakfast....He does this every morning...He says that I did this all my life for him and when he reached 64 and retired it was his time to serve me...There on my U shaped desk was this glorious Persian Roll and my orange juice...It had enough frosting on it to keep me high all day...I left half of it for him as I know he will love it...I just adore him...

This is the way you are as you age...You think of the other first and yourself second...Yet, saying this I can still and may I add do retain the "cat on a hot tin roof" image and never back away from an argument when I think I am right...Life can be really fun no matter the age...

My best to you...Stay safe and enjoy life...It goes by far too quickly and then you sit back and wonder where all the years have gone....Take care...Caroline....


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## Caribvistors

Married for 46 years, dated for 4 prior. I first met her when she just turned 14 and I was 16, started exclusively dating when she was 16 Her parents did everything to try to break up our relationship, right up until we were formally engaged. After we were married they became very supportive. 

Never had a "bad day" or what is referred to as a rough patch in our marriage One factor that contributed to that is, we never went to bed mad.

Communications is very important from the beginning, as we still talk all the time, even calls at work. There is nothing we cannot discuss. She has always been very understanding of me and my career and I think most other woman I know would never have been as tolerant. The concept of, forgive and forget has helped us on a number of occasions over the years. We do not endlessly bring up old issues (and there has been a few) to rehash.

Our intimate relationship has been outstanding from the beginning. She has always been very willing and open minded 

I have been a very fortunate man from that day I met her. My success is really attributable mostly to her.


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## ariel_angel77

Caribvistors said:


> Never had a "bad day" or what is referred to as a rough patch in our marriage


Like is this really possible???? Like if I know that a marriage even close to this could really happen at all I would never look back on my decision to leave my abusive husband.


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## Caribvistors

ariel

I have witnessed a number of abusive relationships and if your husband was not willing to significantly change (most guys don't) then you made the right decision by leaving.

To answer your above question, yes it is possible, but it takes; commitment, love, sex, communication, understanding, forgiveness, tolerance, sharing, etc on the part of both parties. Your in a serious relationship, for the long haul with another human being, who is not and never will be perfect. To keep it going requires "attention" by both parties.

We had only one "serious" issue in our marriage, about 40 years ago when she lied to me about her then boss at work. It wasn't the issue that upset me, but the fact she lied to me. After some "talking" she opened up and told me everything. We were able to quickly put this issue behind us. Somehow we are both missing an emotion in our personalities, jealousy. That green monsters has never interfered in our lives.

We still work at our relationship by doing those "little things" for each other. One example, we set aside an evening each week, usually Saturday for a "date night". We usually go to a nice restaurant and enjoy each others uninterrupted company, just like we did when we were teenagers. Even when our kids were young, we always arranged for a babysitter, either family or a local young girl.

I thank my wife everyday for raising our children to be the adults they are. She is primarily responsible, as I was so involved in my career, that I was often not home. Two of them graduated from college in 4 years, while the 3rd elected to join the military for a 4 year enlistment. All are now married, with children and enjoying successful careers.

I could go on, but I do not want to bore the membership. Needless to say, we have both been very lucky ever since we started our relationship as teenagers from different high schools.


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## SimplyAmorous

ariel_angel77 said:


> *Like is this really possible???? Like if I know that a marriage even close to this could really happen at all I would never look back on my decision to leave my abusive husband*.


Ariel_angel...you've had some really good advice here...from others who were in your shoes at one time ....please listen to those who've gone before you... you deserve so much better!.. Good men are out there....they exist...though it does seem they are dwindling in today's society, many no longer care to get married....I don't think I fully realize what the younger generation is dealing with today...

But remaining in an abusive relationship.... NO!!!....leave him....If you are a caring loving Woman, by all means you need to find one who wants* to give as much*..someone trustworthy....caring about your emotional needs, feeling they are as important as his own......you are so young...this is a cross roads in your life..don't wait till you are 35+ looking for a good man, they get snatched up in their younger years.. just seems to be the case.



> * Caribvistors said*: *Never had a "bad day" or what is referred to as a rough patch in our marriage One factor that contributed to that is, we never went to bed mad*.


 We, too, are a couple who doesn't go to bed angry ... oh we've stayed up fighting before.. I think in over 25 yrs we may have went to bed mad less than 3 times.. I can only think of 1 time within the last 6 yrs... 

None of this going on.... my H is a sensitive man, if he did anything to hurt me...he's just AWARE of it.. and wants to make it right...I appreciate this so much. 










Even if we tried to stay upset.. we can't do it...we come crawling back within a short period of time humbling our sorry selves...offering that olive branch....and airing it ALL out... listening to each other....we want our peace back so we can get back in each others arms again.. and FEEL IT. 

We too met very young ...in our teens .... 

We didn't have a lot of money, he just worked in a Grocery Store....got pregnant 3 months in.. we were on top of the world.. it's something we talked about & anticipated for years.. growing a family together.. 

Felt like this song.... Danny's Song by Kenny Loggins 



> People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one,
> And we've only just begun.
> Think I'm gonna have a son.
> He will be like she and me, as free as a dove,
> Conceived in love.
> Sun is gonna shine above.
> 
> And even though we ain't got money,
> I'm so in love with you, honey,
> And everything will bring a chain of love.
> And in the morning, when I rise,
> You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
> And tell me everything is gonna be alright....


Everyone has some trying times in their marriages, it's LIFE, so many things can HIT us.....losing a job, a health crisis, problems with our kids, coworkers, in Laws, too much time apart, & on & on it goes...we all have something...challenges will come ... 

Our most difficult (our monkey wrench )...was when we couldn't conceive after our 1st son.... dragging on for over 6 yrs.....many tests, months of clomid, an exploratory laparoscopy, tears on his shoulder..looked into adoption but my heart wasn't into it... it was the only time in our marriage I was "down" /loosing hope yr after yr....all of this leading to an "almost" In vitro attempt...

My husband was wonderful through all of this...

One thing we had...despite all of this.. was feeling "*on the same team*".. he was there for me in every way...came to the Docs, holding me, reminding me what all we had to be thankful for -just doing what he could.....he was WITH ME in pursuing our dreams together... not giving up...he loved me through it... 

Just as Caribvistors attributes his success to his wife, I feel this away about my Husband... not as many yrs as these couples on this thread....(33 together /25 married).... we hope to live so long to make it to our 50th someday , he likes to speak of us "rocking in our rocking chairs together" ...so long as I have my wits... I'll still be flirting with him too!


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