# He doesnt love me and he cheated. What to do?



## Godschild (Jan 23, 2012)

So me and my husband have been together for 12 years, married almost 5. We were high school sweethearts. About 2 years ago we decided to start a family , well sad to say we went through 2 miscarriages. Very tragic but we knew god had a plan. This past October we found out we were pregnant again and it was a roller coaster, very sick and weekly appointments for the first trimester. I am now 5 months pregnant and everything is great until the day after Christmas, my husband walked out on me. Left, wouldnt talk to on why , just left his pregnant wife. When he finally did talk he said he had no love for me and needed to find his self and soul search. Come to find out he was emotionally involved with someone else and had been for 2 1/2 months and he feels that he loves her. She ended their friendship because she wasnt gonna be blamed for a failed marriage and even if he left me for good that they would never be. He is so torn and heart broken over this girl that its killing him. He came back home last week because i said we should work on this together and help each other. He claims he wasnt unhappy just felt the void for loving me so he admitted to going out and making out with other women and calling them but nothing more. When he met this last girl he said they just clicked and got each other and his feelings grew for her. Over the past few days the more i find out like he had been on a dating site for over a year and talked to several girls on there too but never felt the desire to meet them. He claims our sex life was great but missing the emotional connection. I never saw this coming and i feel humilated. I keep asking questions and feel im pushing him further away. I wanna know now until later down the road. He keeps saying he wants to love his wife and that love is not a choice that its a feeling and a marriage should be easy and should never need worked on. He says that he cant see his self with me or ever loving me and that he has tried to love me but how can you try to love someone when you are out there being unfaithful. I told him I forgive him and would fight for our marriage but i feel like im fighting this alone. He also states that he doesnt wanna be a every other weekend dad but he keeps going like this than he will be. I have no clue what to do but to pray to God that He will change his heart and mind. God is in control and I know he has a plan and doesnt want us to be divorced. Maybe im pushing to hard and questioning him to much. Im so lost, im scared. Hes giving in way to easy and not wanting to try, hes starting to get more involved in church the past 2 weeks so maybe this will help him. ANy advice???


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You are being a doormat. He's cheating on you - HE is the one who's in the wrong here. Stand up for yourself and tell him to get out and not come back until he's ready to grovel. And if he really thinks marriage shouldn't need to be worked on, divorce him.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

It sounds like he's told you again and again where he's at in this relationship. Or perhaps more precisely that he's not in this relationship at all. Sitting around hoping for a different answer isn't going to change anything about him, only he can decide how he feels and where he wants to be.

Think of it this way, if your boss told you that you were fired, you got the "pink slip" from HR, AND there was someone new sitting at your desk--would you hang around the lobby everyday to see if they'd changed their mind?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Godschild said:


> He keeps saying he wants to love his wife and that love is not a choice that its a feeling and a marriage should be easy and should never need worked on.


I hope your not buying this stinkin' pile of bu!!sh!t he's shoveling, because that is precisely what it is. I don't think I generally post from an emotional position, but THIS has me seeing red. Love IS a choice; feelings come and go, and the "honeymoon phase" doesn't last forever. Marriage is darn hard work, and it takes two committed people to make it work.

You are married to an emotionally-stunted, immature jerk. Yes, God can change people. And people can also choose not to change and go on their merry way. I don't know what you mean by your husband "getting involved" in church. Ever heard the old saying that sitting in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Divorce him. He has told you STRAIGHT UP he can't make himself love you. He left you. And then came back after his sidepiece dumped him. Too bad for him. Not only taht but he was on dating sites trying to pick up other women. He very well may have met up with them. 

Say Goodbye. He doesn't love you.


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## DocHoliday (Jan 19, 2012)

He is wayward. He is in the fog of his emotional affair with this other woman. He also sounds extremely immature.

He is singing by the wayward choir book. Many marriages have recoverd, many have ended. Prayer is not a plan. You need a plan/path forward. (either together, up or out - you, young lady need a plan of action..)

You can recover, you can walk away. I don't know if I can advise another website, but marriage builders can help you understand what baloney he is shovin'.


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