# Questions...



## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

This is for those who have been left or hurt by a partner, and/or to those who left their partners because of infidelity or too much distrust.

From a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is your pain with 10 being the worst possible pain a heartbreak can create? Is there something specifically that you do to aliviate the constant heartache? What do you do when you find yourself thinking about this other person?

I really want to know how others are dealing with it. I know there are lots of threads with stories but I don't see any that actually describe how they are dealing with it day by day.

My pain right now is a 7.5. I think I'm mostly just angry that he was such a selfish idiot. That he wasted so much of my time by me cooking and cleaning for him when he didn't deserve it. I think if I let this anger go, I will be free again but I can't.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

can you keep all your posts to one thread? it will be easier for us to keep your story straight instead of us having to go to five different threads under your name we can just just go to one. 

As for how to deal with the pain...that of course can vary...even day to day. Some go to the gym ...TAM every day is a plus...meds...doctors...individual counseling..friends...diving more into our jobs...self help books...our pets...our kids...LOTS of different things help us with our pain. 

The key is to 'not dwell on it'...as in not sit there and rate it on a scale from 1 to 10. You need to stay busy and have the 'want' to recover and do things to help yourself to do so...and if your not doing well...you find ways that you haven't tried yet...and see if that works...
again...what you don't do...is sit and dwell. You need to motivate and move.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

When you find yourself in pain. Acknowledge it. Feel it. Let it out. Then put it in it's place and treat yourself. Do something that you enjoy. 

You've been betrayed. This pain is natural. Don't beat yourself up about it. Of course it hurts. But you can get through this. 

Say that to yourself. ^^^


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## soca70 (Oct 30, 2012)

Stella Moon said:


> As for how to deal with the pain...that of course can vary...even day to day. Some go to the gym ...TAM every day is a plus...meds...doctors...individual counseling..friends...diving more into our jobs...self help books...our pets...our kids...LOTS of different things help us with our pain.


:lol:All of these are great ideas and I have used almost all of them. 

The pain initially - unbelievable. One night I actually laid in bed hoping I would have a heart attack so as to escape it. I had trouble driving, eating, concentrating, sleeping, making a g**d**n peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I kept reading on TAM that it gets better and it does. Next up will be anger which proves to be a great antidote to pain.


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