# Wants to date but nothing serious



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Does this on a man’s profile mean nothing but sex and fun?
And if they have their city/and the ranch they visit often on weekends. 
This guy I’ve been chatting with online lives in my town and about 45/hour has a ranch he maintains and visits often.

He put the above for his headline and the 2 locations. 

Now of course I think player! Just wants to bed anyone from where he lives and the ranch lol

Trying to be open minded.
Any advice?


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

It means he doesn't want a relationship. But sex is cool!


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

With multiple people or one person?
A FWB situation


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> With multiple people or one person?
> A FWB situation



You would have to ask him that. 

If you are someone who gets attached, you might want to avoid this guy.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

It’s not so much attachment that scares me as the safety aspect. Condoms only do so much and it doesn’t feel as nice. Then to know that their mouth has possibly been on another prior?

Don’t most find that ick?


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> It’s not so much attachment that scares me as the safety aspect. Condoms only do so much and it doesn’t feel as nice. Then to know that their mouth has possibly been on another prior?
> 
> Don’t most find that ick?



I agree. I would rather be with one person at a time.

For me FWB would only work in exclusivity. But I'm looking for emotional interest also...

I have a friend that wants all of the sex he never had as a married man ...meaning multiple partners.

I'd prefer all the sex I never had with a single partner.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Same here. I like to find that one single partner that we can do all the things I didn’t in my marriage. But it seems like the men want no exclusivity in that. 
I would think if it’s good then stick with that one person. I dunno


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Unless you ask him, you won't know. I see the same thing on many women's profiles. I think it means that they are fine dating casually, _perhaps_ even _exclusively_ and long-term, but with no greater goal in mind (i.e., not getting serious, certainly not marriage). That often means FWB - some of which are long-term and exclusive.


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## Sukisue1234 (Jan 17, 2018)

I think if you are used to one person that is not your guy, FWB, IS HIS IDEA, ITS PLAIN IN HIS HAVE FUN NO REALATONSHIP HEADER,,


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I have to give the guy credit for being honest with his headline that he wants to date but he's NOT looking for a relationship. We all read about those guys who lie and pretend they want a relationship when they really don't.

If you're looking for an FWB or casual date here and there with no strings, he's your guy. If your goal is something more serious, he's not your guy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Random sex, without any kind of a sense of partner attachment and with a pronounced aura of seriousness, is nothing more than a unilateral ploy for using someone for a quick, thankless dose of dopaminic oxytocin! 

They're a player ~ Steer clear! If it's the dopamine fix that he so badly needs, then let him find himself a local cathouse and pay for it, along with any of the accompanying maladies of crabs, STD's, and the usually expensive prescription drugs needed to remedy its symptoms! *


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its great that he is honest. 

It could mean anything from hookups to fun dates (probably including sex, but maybe that isn't the goal), but isn't looking for a long term relationship.

That might make perfect sense for someone who has to relocate for a few months, and doesn't have a relationship back home.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Sue, l don't think your even giving yourself a chance yet. You know first learn to be ok by yourself then after a yr or so you can explore it differently then otherwise your on the rebound and that spell's disaster.


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## RubyRing (Jun 13, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> Does this on a man’s profile mean nothing but sex and fun?
> 
> *YES, that's EXACTLY what it means, so at least give him credit for being honest.
> *
> ...


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I have to give the guy credit for being honest with his headline that he wants to date but he's NOT looking for a relationship. We all read about those guys who lie and pretend they want a relationship when they really don't.
> 
> If you're looking for an FWB or casual date here and there with no strings, he's your guy. If your goal is something more serious, he's not your guy.


Exactly this. It REALLY is this simple.



Sue4473 said:


> With multiple people or one person?
> A FWB situation


What does it matter? You know you don't want that, you want an exclusive, committed relationship, so he's not for you.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

No it doesn’t matter, but the older I get I want that companionship. And yes I kay not be up to handle a FWB thing but it’s all men want it seems. I know that there is others that aren’t, but it’s not looking that way at all.

I consider myself a sexual person that needs or wants it often. I’ve learned that about myself with dating etc. and I don’t want to go to bars. But when it seems that men just want casual what do I do?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

You say, 'No thank you.' 



Sue4473 said:


> But when it seems that men just want casual what do I do?


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

A lot of women’s profiles have the same statement, but they go on to explain that they aren’t looming for fwb. I was wondering what that meant too.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

frusdil said:


> What does it matter? You know you don't want that, you want an exclusive, committed relationship, so he's not for you.


Most importantly, if that's what someone is looking for, don't even THINK of entertaining the idea of, "Well, I'll check, because maybe he/she isn't really set in their ways, maybe they're just using that as a safety screen" so you go ahead anyway.


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## datguy (Feb 5, 2020)

This is a common practice, you must either accept it or move on. I myself often looked for such options.
Online dating sites are well suited for this, for example, https://hookupmasters.com/adult-dating-sites/hookupgirlfriends-review/ or the Tinder that you know better. There, many people are looking for the same, and this is easy to recognize during communication.


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## delupt (Dec 1, 2014)

I have a different take. I want to "date but nothing (too) serious", but I'm not looking for a series of ONS or FWB. Neither ONS or FWB is dating; you don't date your FB, you go over, maybe drink a glass, have sex and leave (never go on a date nor a sleepover). 

I love dating. When I meet someone new I want it to last. I want to date regularly in restaurants, concerts, weekeders, meet their friends, etc. 
BUT I don't want anything (too) serious. I don't want a replacement wife nor a mother for my (grown-up) children. I don't want to cohabit, but happy to be mono if chemistry right and we're seeing each other regularly.

But I would not put it on my dating profile as it triggers the 'player' accusation from girls. 

You gotta discuss it with him.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

delupt said:


> I have a different take. I want to "date but nothing (too) serious", but I'm not looking for a series of ONS or FWB. Neither ONS or FWB is dating; you don't date your FB, you go over, maybe drink a glass, have sex and leave (never go on a date nor a sleepover).
> 
> I love dating. When I meet someone new I want it to last. I want to date regularly in restaurants, concerts, weekeders, meet their friends, etc.
> BUT I don't want anything (too) serious. I don't want a replacement wife nor a mother for my (grown-up) children. I don't want to cohabit, but happy to be mono if chemistry right and we're seeing each other regularly.
> ...


are you interested in developing an emotional connection to these women you date? I would call a situation like the one that you describe that includes no emotional attachment as a friends with benefits arrangement.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

Sue4473 said:


> No it doesn’t matter, but the older I get I want that companionship. And yes I kay not be up to handle a FWB thing but it’s all men want it seems. I know that there is others that aren’t, but it’s not looking that way at all.
> 
> I consider myself a sexual person that needs or wants it often. I’ve learned that about myself with dating etc. and I don’t want to go to bars. But when it seems that men just want casual what do I do?


Your initial statement is incorrect. There are men who want relationships.

You may be looking in the wrong place or attracted to men who want FWB.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> Does this on a man’s profile mean nothing but sex and fun?
> And if they have their city/and the ranch they visit often on weekends.
> This guy I’ve been chatting with online lives in my town and about 45/hour has a ranch he maintains and visits often.
> 
> ...


Yeah, he wants to date a few partners, but doesn't want commitment. I'm sorry to say that, but most men online are like that, even the men who write that they want a relationship in their profile.


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