# What is missing from your relationship?



## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

I'm just curious to know about others.

What is missing from your relationship that would make you completely happy?
What may the ideal situation for you?
If you could change something, what would that be?
Let's just imagine that you and your life partner both died together on your bed when you are 98 years old. What would put a smile on both of your faces if you look back?


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

Hey GTG

Thought I'd reply as it's a little  when you don't get any responses 

I'd like H to spend time with family / friends as we miss out on lots of fun. He likes to do his own thing. He's missing out on lots of love too (my family are very loving, he grew up an only child and can be incredibly selfish). We used to do lots of things together but gradually our marriage has eroded over the last year......he's out of hospital today and I'm hoping things will change over the coming weeks/months but not holding my breath....

How about you?


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## ALWAYS TRYING (Mar 2, 2013)

SEX. Really that is my number one complaint. We do things together we talk every day, finances are good. He just won't touch me. I want, need to be touched. 

Grow together. You didn't say what about you?


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## Leasel (Mar 30, 2013)

The only thing that is really missing from my marriage is that we don't get to go out very often. We go out to dinner or a movie or a concert maybe once a month, due to financial issues. Now that it's getting warmer, there will be more free stuff available for us to do, and we can go to the park and things like that, so that problem will be solved soon enough.

If we were about to die together all old and wrinkly, I'd be thinking about how glad I was that I didn't get too nervous to go through with our first date.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Leasel - same here. Finances! We both have decent jobs but the money never seems to stretch far enough. But we are also happy to do 'freebie' stuff like picnics and walks. I'm just hoping things won't be so tight in a few years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

More effort and energy invested. What we have is good but the quality and quantity could be increased 50%


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

A man.


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

IrishGirlVA said:


> A man.


:rofl:


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

growtogether said:


> I'm just curious to know about others.
> 
> What is missing from your relationship that would make you completely happy?
> What may the ideal situation for you?
> ...


I am very happy in my marriage, but I do wish we had more time together. Going back to work is taking its toll on how much time we spend in each other's company, and I feel it.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Sex. We are both on meds that make it hard to get aroused. We both don't really miss it though, as the desire is not there. We are affectionate in other ways and are both happy with that.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Nothing. I have been in bad marriages and this one is like some kind of fantasy dream.


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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

Missing:
Fulfilling sex life
Compatibility in physical fitness and activity level 
Affection
Emotional safety


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

growtogether said:


> What is missing from your relationship that would make you completely happy?


No relationship would ever make me completely happy. My happiness is not contingent on somebody else's behavior. I'm married to an addict. That's a special hell I wouldn't wish on my own worst enemy.



growtogether said:


> What may the ideal situation for you?


For me? Living alone. I enjoy the solitude. I can also regulate when I have contact with other life forms. I'm not cut out for marriage. Gave it a couple of tries, and failed miserably. 



growtogether said:


> If you could change something, what would that be?


I would have taken life far more seriously in my 20's. I would have focused more on my career and less on men.



growtogether said:


> Let's just imagine that you and your life partner both died together on your bed when you are 98 years old. What would put a smile on both of your faces if you look back?


If I lived with my alcoholic, I would be dead long before 98. For the sake of speculation, if I had married wisely, I would smile about the times we persevered through the I-don't-love-you phases.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Wiserforit said:


> Nothing. I have been in bad marriages and this one is like some kind of fantasy dream.


Well, rub it in, why don't ya.  

Happy for you.


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## jims1020 (Apr 6, 2013)

the little things. hand holding, cuddling, kissing, hugging etc.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Sadly, I have to say everything was missing.

In the scenario described, honesty would be my answer. It would have helped in all other areas, such as intimacy, finances, sex, and every thing else. Man, were we damaged.


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

SaltInWound said:


> Sadly, I have to say everything was missing.
> 
> In the scenario described, honesty would be my answer. It would have helped in all other areas, such as intimacy, finances, sex, and every thing else. Man, were we damaged.


uppy:uppy:
HUGS xxx


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