# Daughter walked in on husband watching porn



## Monster622

Ugh. Need some advice. My 11 year old daughter walked in on my husband watching pornography. He was not masturbating at the time but she saw WAY more than she should have on the screen. This question is about how to explain it to my daughter, not about the effect of this on my marriage. That is a whole other topic 🙄. Thank you in advance for any advice.


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## Diana7

What was he doing watching porn with your daughter around????? A lady I used to know found out that her husband was watching porn with their small children around. She ended the marriage and took him to court. The judge ordered that from that time on he was only permitted supervised visits with the children. Its serious stuff. Exposing young children to porn is seen as child sexual abuse in my country.(UK)
As for your daughter, has she said anything to you about it? Asked any questions? Has your husband said anythng to her?


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## AndStilliRise

Monster622 said:


> Ugh. Need some advice. My 11 year old daughter walked in on my husband watching pornography. He was not masturbating at the time but she saw WAY more than she should have on the screen. This question is about how to explain it to my daughter, not about the effect of this on my marriage. That is a whole other topic . Thank you in advance for any advice.


This is child abuse. Marriage aside, the fact that he would be looking at it while at home with his daughter is deeply concerning.


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## Mr.Married

As much as you could use some good advice I believe this topic may remain a little silent. That is a very difficult situation without a good answer.


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## frusdil

Full disclosure - I detest porn, I think it's gross. If he was watching it in the family tv room where anyone could walk in at any time, shame on him.

IF he were watching it somewhere private, and your daughter walked in without knocking, she needs a lesson in privacy.

I would tell her that he was watching an adult only movie, and you will explain more about them when she's older. For now, that's all she needs to know.


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## Diana7

frusdil said:


> Full disclosure - I detest porn, I think it's gross. If he was watching it in the family tv room where anyone could walk in at any time, shame on him.
> 
> IF he were watching it somewhere private, and your daughter walked in without knocking, she needs a lesson in privacy.
> 
> I would tell her that he was watching an adult only movie, and you will explain more about them when she's older. For now, that's all she needs to know.


Even if it was in his bedroom say, she was still around and could have come in any time (which she did). Cant he at least wait till the children are in bed?


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## jjandy

Hey there...first off..so sorry you are in this situation. How did you husband handle it? I think it is a good thing to have a good conversation with her and I think it should come from your hubby. Right now...he is the most important parent really in her life...as in she looks up to her daddy. Most girls value their DADS so much during the teen years and if they do not have a good relationship they turn to other boys. Does your hubby have a good relationship with her? Use this as a great learning experience. We all make mistakes..and he can chalk this up to a horrible mistake and talk about his wrongs and how this is not the things any real men should be looking at. It is good to confess sometimes our failures to our kids. You both should talk about porn, educate her on it and how prevalent it is and what that means to her to be careful not to view herself. I have some good resources that could help educate first before you might approach her. So many kids have already been exposed and seen it...and you might ask her that? Ask if her friends talk about it? Many kids her age are already addicted. I talk to my teen girls a lot about it...and most of their guy friends are addicted to watching. Def don't sweep it under the rug. Trust me....learning to communicate through the hard stuff now will help in a few years. They are just being bomparded by stuff. Having a parent confess they made a mistake shows them how they can do the same.


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## frusdil

Diana7 said:


> Even if it was in his bedroom say, she was still around and could have come in any time (which she did). Cant he at least wait till the children are in bed?


Of course he can, but if he was in the privacy of his own bedroom the girl still should have knocked first.


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## Evinrude58

Most people with kids have sense enough to lock the door when doing stupid ****.
He should be Brow beaten as much for laziness or stupidity as he should being an idiot and watching porn.
Overall, I don’t think the daughter is going to be too scarred over this thing unless crazy people prevail and turn it into some kind of **** show. The Dad should explain it was wrong for him to watch such things, explain why it’s wrong, make sure it never happens again, and move on.


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## happyhusband0005

Monster622 said:


> Ugh. Need some advice. My 11 year old daughter walked in on my husband watching pornography. He was not masturbating at the time but she saw WAY more than she should have on the screen. This question is about how to explain it to my daughter, not about the effect of this on my marriage. That is a whole other topic 🙄. Thank you in advance for any advice.


We found out our son saw some porn during a sleep over at a friends house when he was 12. (friends older brother showed them). I basically explained to him what he saw was not a healthy depiction of sex and it is not appropriate. Basically left it with that and double checked all our internet filters. 

Have you had any kind of talk about sex with your daughter? If so basically have Dum Dum Daddy have a talk that is a continuation of the sex talk explaining things. Then give your husband a very firm smack in the back of the head from me please.


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## AndStilliRise

happyhusband0005 said:


> We found out our son saw some porn during a sleep over at a friends house when he was 12. (friends older brother showed them). I basically explained to him what he saw was not a healthy depiction of sex and it is not appropriate. Basically left it with that and double checked all our internet filters.
> 
> Have you had any kind of talk about sex with your daughter? If so basically have Dum Dum Daddy have a talk that is a continuation of the sex talk explaining things. Then give your husband a very firm smack in the back of the head from me please.


Kinda hard to tell your daughter that when her father is the one wanking off to it.


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## CatholicDad

I’m so sorry. I hope at least this post will serve as a warning to other porn using husbands and fathers to just throw the stuff out.

The other issue is that websites leave all kinds of tracking data (even with private browsing) such that porn becomes easier to find for kids using Dads devices. I’ll bet for every dad caught there are ten more who’s kids catch dad without him knowing (I.e they see evidence on his devices).

Porn is such an epidemic these days and sex trafficking and so many parallel evils are on the rise. I think if hubby admits what he’s done is so wrong and makes a lifelong concerted effort to keep himself AND all devices in his home porn free then at least you could say he’s learned his lesson. You know, if Christian it’s pretty easy to recognize that Jesus spoke directly against porn with his own words (maybe this could help convince hubby what he’s done is wrong).

I would not sugarcoat it. Porn is wrong and I’d start the explanation to the child right there.


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