# How to handle EXW coming to collect personal items



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

My STBXW is coming in 2 weeks with a trailor to collect her belongings. She has already told me what she wants to collect. She mentioned that I or a friend/family member could keep an eye on her while she collects her...uhm stuff. At the time, I was fine with just me or a friend to keep an eye and be present. But could that open a can of worms when she starts seeing things she may have forgotten? Shouldn't matter, right?
Now I'm thinking...why not just box her stuff up and leave it on the driveway the morning she comes to collect? Will that make me look like a bitter EX? So the questions is: what's the noble thing to do? Or maybe a better question is what is the right thing to do? What did you do?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Houstondad said:


> My STBXW is coming in 2 weeks with a trailor to collect her belongings. She has already told me what she wants to collect. She mentioned that I or a friend/family member could keep an eye on her while she collects her...uhm stuff. At the time, I was fine with just me or a friend to keep an eye and be present. But could that open a can of worms when she starts seeing things she may have forgotten? Shouldn't matter, right?
> Now I'm thinking...why not just box her stuff up and leave it on the driveway the morning she comes to collect? Will that make me look like a bitter EX? So the questions is: what's the noble thing to do? Or maybe a better question is what is the right thing to do? What did you do?


Box them up and put them on the driveway.

Minimize interaction with her until she starts behaving like a human being.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Boxing up is fine. If it feels too harsh to put them on the driveway, then have them ready in the hall, and have a friend there with you to answer the door.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

If she is an ex then either supervise her or place her stuff in a storage facility. 

If you let her in without you being there it is almost certain some things will end up missing or damaged.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I agree

Box them up and have them ready to go.

this will limit your interaction time.

However, do not be a doormat and help her/them load the boxes up. If she asks about when you boxed everthing, tell her you did it weeks ago to make room for the new stuff you ordered (be vague!)


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oooh, Toffer, I like that!


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

HD, are you satified with the way you handled things so far ?? I remember others giving you advice, and you doing the opposite. AND NO this is not ah we told you so. I just remembered you saying you had to do somethings your way, and wanted to know your mind set at this time.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

box it up.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Box it up, but don't be neat about it. Then stack it in the driveway. Make sure you have your doors re-keyed so she can't get in the house. Then when you know she's about to arrive, go somewhere and have a beer. Why do need to be there?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Personally, I wouldn't put it outside. In the garage, in a hallway or spare room... Whatever. But putting it out on the driveway is just airing your laundry in public, and you're the one that is still living in the area.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

PBear said:


> Personally, I wouldn't put it outside. In the garage, in a hallway or spare room... Whatever. But putting it out on the driveway is just airing your laundry in public, and you're the one that is still living in the area.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bah! Let the neighbors see her loading up her own crap. Let them see her banging on the front door when she can't get in. Let the neighbors watch her drive away from the home she destroyed. It would be a good lesson for her. Hell, his status as an alpha male will shoot up in the neighborhood, not down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

houstondad, she's srewed you every step of the way, in your divorce..why would you even think of letting her in the house is beyond me! i would not only have a friend with you but also your friend video recording it also.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Sure, you could box it up and leave it on the drive way, show her how butt hurt you really are by the whole ordeal and be a big baby.

........OR you could take two doses of *Man-Up* and chose the higher road. Box everything up and help her load the trailer with a friendly smile on your face.

Completely confuse her by *DOING THE 180* and acting *"as if"* helping her move is exactly what you've been waiting for. 

As far as I see it, you could be the d!ck she wants to leave or the friend she misses. You're call buddy, but hell hath no fury like a woman scored.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Oh please......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I helped him do it - I wanted to make sure every last bit of his stuff was gone before he gave the key back
I let him have what he wanted - material stuff means sh*t to me
he got all upset when I threw the old cards and letters away, I think he expected me to keep a shrine to him or something 
got my house back though :smthumbup:


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