# Ex Spouse doesn't want to communicate about our son, child is in the middle.



## Ladieserene (Feb 13, 2016)

For the past year and half my son has lived on/off with his father. We just got divorced in November of 2015 after 18 years of marriage. two months later he re-married ( thats a joke). Anywho, on " good faith" from the ex-husband stated he would write up a joint custody agreement. PFFF! that went out the window the jerk that he is! So, now I'm stuck going to modify divorce decree because of ex-husband not putting the JC in the divorce in the first place Liked I asked. My ex blocked my e-mails and phone calls in regards to do with our son. He told my son" tell your mom that I should talk to my son about not him" no need too. At this point, I wish I could literally do bodily harm because I'm so angry and hurt that this man I thought I knew is literally doing this. I have a new relationship and am quite happy but, how can you successfully enjoy life when all you think about is getting this custody order, another day in my crazy life!


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Easy first question; why did you sign the final divorce papers if the custody clause wasn't spelled out? 

How old is your son? If your son is young I find it difficult to understand how a judge would have finalized the divorce without a custody agreement in place, that would be very unusual, courts always focus on the welfare of minor children. If your son is older than 15'ish that's a bit different, at that age a custody agreement can be a lot less formal. My guess is that's what is going on here, your son is probably at the age where your ex figured if you want to spend time with him just call the kid and set something up. 

Your hostility toward your ex is obvious, maybe he deserves it but regardless of that I'm going out on a limb here and guessing he doesn't want to deal directly with you because of that anger. I don't know what happened in your marriage and divorce but what I do know is you need to reach a point of tolerance when dealing with your ex, the time for fighting is past. Because of your child your ex will be a bit player in your life forever, learn to deal with that.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Why was it all up to "him" to make sure the custody agreement was fairly spelled out? Why didn't you have a part in it?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

In my state you DON'T get divorced without custody and support resolved, even by a temporary order that will be finalized.

You're a big girl, take care of your son and quit waiting for him to live up to some vague promise.

And also remember, you can't force him to be a parent and you can't force him to actually see his kid. You can get an order of support and enforce the best you can, but that's it. So if he wants to dump on you son-he can and will. It means you have to be an even better mom than you already are.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

Make it simply known to your ex that unless you and him can come up with a mutually satisfactory custody arrangement that you will be going to court to have the judge draw one up. Sounds like the only way to have structure in your life.


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