# Please help



## CrayinNH (Aug 7, 2011)

I posted the post below about a week ago. Since then I found out a couple of more things. MY husband is always lying. It could be about anything. Today I found more porn DVD's and then I found "hidden" in his watch container a couple of Viagra pills.

Please know that I realize I'm driving myself nuts over this. We haven't had sex for over a year. He doesn't want it. Yet, I find pills?

My gut tell me he's cheating. I'm sick over this and I can't concentrate. People tell me to leave. It's not that easy "for me". I don't know why. I'm seeing a therapist today.

I want him to admit he's cheating. We are high school sweethearts and together for about 22 years. I'm only 38. I know I deserve better and I deserve to be happy but this is so hard. We have separated in the past. I left him for his drinking, arrests, etc. He stopped drinking and he got his old job back as the director of operations. He wanted to get back together so I did.

I would love and appreciate your opinion, even men. Now I know the true meaning of a broken heart.

The former post is below.



I haven't had sex with my husband in over a year. I catch him watching porn on T.V and the answer I get is "it's different". Recently, he's been acting weird. He has this attitude about him that basically screams I don't respect my wife (which he admits). He's been coming home a little later than usual, he ignores texts or phone calls. I came across 2 charges on the credit card bill (VOD) and he said he had no clue how the charges got there. I'm pretty good w/ computers and just basic common sense. I researched and found the website which is porn videos and in order to log in you need your email address. So, I figured he must use his work email and our usual password. BINGO. I got right into his account. I viewed the history and it also states the video that was viewed, the date and time. He looks at the videos at home BUT somewhere else as well. The time frame is when he is apparently at work. Ok, so..where? I know he can't go on his work computer. Oh, during this time I also found a stain in his boxers when doing laundry(TMI I know but I want to give the facts). I just confronted him with all of this and he denies it! He said he looks at it at home.
In the past 4 days he viewed 195 videos just on this site.
I'm at the end of my rope with the lies. I'm thinking he's also cheating on me because he is so wrapped up in his little world. I need some opinions. Does this sound like porn addiction? Cheating? I'm so unhappy and I feel so neglected as a wife and I feel that nobody can really understand how I feel unless they have experienced this. It's a hopeless feeling.
Any feedback is appreciated.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

If in fact he is cheating and he admits it, then what?


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## CrayinNH (Aug 7, 2011)

I know this sounds crazy but this would be the push I need. I would leave his sorry ass or make him leave.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Why not MC? don't sound like an affair but more like one nite stand(s) if that. but if my husband did not have sex in a year he would be watching my porn then that.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

CrayinNH said:


> I know this sounds crazy but this would be the push I need. I would leave his sorry ass or make him leave.


Are you sure? He convinced you to come back after drinking and his arrests. Its not likely he will admit it, my guess is you need to find out for sure on your own. I think finding the Viagra is a red flag for sure.


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## CrayinNH (Aug 7, 2011)

I did confront him and he's hanging up on me, not answering my emails, or text messages.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

CrayinNH said:


> I did confront him and he's hanging up on me, not answering my emails, or text messages.


Not good!  Maybe you need to consult a lawyer and get your ducks in a row ahead of time. Unless you already know what your plan is.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Do you want your marriage? Because if he tell you the truth you leaving anyway so why don't you move on?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Porn addiction at the minimum!


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Whether its porn addiction, an affair etc, there seems to be some issues that need to be addressed with your husband, He has already been arrested for drinking etc. YOU are going to have to decide what you want out of YOUR life. Even if its not an affair but porn addiction, he needs some help, period. You will need to get to the bottom of what is truly going on though. No matter what it may or may not be, you have to decide what you will and will not live with. Its up to him to get some help for drinking, and porn addictions or whatever he has going on with himself.


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