# arranging dresser , thoughts?



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I posted months ago about some issues I had with trust, confidence , body image, etc.


the past 3 months have been great. Dh did something today he labeled as "helpful" that bothered me.

We both run and are training for a race. I mentioned I was prescribed an ankle brace after a bad sprain. It's a heavy duty brace. I asked if he wanted it. He said he no.

When I came home from work, he said he looked for the brace (ankle hurt) and then folded and sorted all my clothes. I had nothing weird to find or hide, but he's never (in 28 years) done that. Never put my clothes away at any time in our 35 years of knowing one another.

I felt violated that he all my clothes. 

Am I wrong in seeing this as really weird?

I fold his clothes, but he tells me to let him put them away. I've never put his away.

This bugged me, almost like what's he looking for?

FWIW... he's seen all my lingerie because I wear it several times a week. He's seen it all.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

snowbum said:


> I posted months ago about some issues I had with trust, confidence , body image, etc.
> 
> 
> the past 3 months have been great. Dh did something today he labeled as "helpful" that bothered me.
> ...


Maybe he's just someone who likes neatness and order. Maybe he jumbled up your drawer so bad he decided to improve it. Doesn't sound like anything to be paranoid about because if he was looking for something, he would have just left it like it was, not neatened it up so you'd notice.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

My question is why I shouldn't touch his clothes, put stuff away when he went through and folded 8 drawers of clothes he never cared about or looked at . IT was just weird to do that one time in decades. 

Again, I 've never called, texted, or written another man so there is no chance in 1000 he'd find anything. I just dont' need my bras , underwear, sweats, etc messed with.


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

You guys have never seen each other clothes or put clothes away? Seriously???

My husband and I fold each other's clothes all the time. And we put away each other's clothes as well. Even my mil and my parents fold our clothes if they are visiting while we are doing laundry. I thought that was the most normal thing in the world!

You guys are way too weird for me!


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

snowbum said:


> My question is why I shouldn't touch his clothes, put stuff away when he went through and folded 8 drawers of clothes he never cared about or looked at . IT was just weird to do that one time in decades.
> 
> Again, I 've never called, texted, or written another man so there is no chance in 1000 he'd find anything. I just dont' need my bras , underwear, sweats, etc messed with.


If he was looking for something, why would he bother to fold your clothes and risk you noticing? Better to just snoop through, and you’d not be the wiser.

Why not ask him why he doesn’t want you to put his clothes away? Maybe he doesn’t want to you to bother. Maybe he has the same concerns you do.

Why not tell him why you don’t want him to put your clothes away? And the reasons why?


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

We fold each others clothes weekly. We leave them to put our own away. my dresser is not military neat. I put things away the way I'm ok with them. He knows my clothes. It was the methodical folding , sortiing nd arranging of all my clothes that I found odd. I don't leave clothes laying around. They are put away. But to fold them crisp and clean for the only time in 30 years? What gives?
After folding his for 30 and telling me he'll get them and not to touch because he has his order.

I know what brand he wears, and all his clothes. I've never taken drawers of clothes out and resorted them. Ever. Maybe that's weird. I've figured he can put his clothes away.

I do wash all the clothes and sort all the clothes and iron when needed. But I stop at putting them way.


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I've never had to tell him to leave them because he never once put them away until today when he sorted my entire closet. I hang my clothes, No need to sort.


----------



## Lotsofheart73 (Oct 13, 2021)

> PieceOfSky said:
> 
> 
> > If he was looking for something, why would he bother to fold your clothes and risk you noticing? Better to just snoop through, and you’d not be the wiser.
> ...


Best response IMO. Sounds like you guys need communication. Sometimes people just do things they don’t normally do out of the blue for no real reason and sometimes it is for a reason. No internet stranger will be able to tell you why your husband decided to organize your dresser. Just ask him, non-confrontationally, see what he says and go from there.


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Snow, I don’t understand this “change” in your question.



snowbum said:


> Again, I 've never called, texted, or written another man so there is no chance in 1000 he'd find anything. I just dont' need my bras , underwear, sweats, etc messed with.


Why can’t he just be folding your cloths? Why are you convinced he’s up to something? Maybe he read the “How I Saved My Marriage” thread. Kidding, but why couldn’t it just be a nice effort?


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

He could. But since he's done laundry less than 10 times since 2000 (fine and I'm cool) it' s weird. That's all. Nice, but very weird.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Did you ask him?


----------



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

He was looking for my brace that wasn't in my dresser and he knew that because I told him. I didn't have laundry to put away because I did that yesterday. My drawers just "triggered him" and he had to fold clothes. Ok. But never ever before?

And sorry, but as someone that didn't have people put clothes away for 30 years, that was just odd. If I had loads/baskets of clothing laying around, needing to be sorted, folded , cleaned up it made since. Btu all my clothes were put away out of sight. His weren't . Just a weird way to spend the work day. That's all.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

snowbum said:


> My question is why I shouldn't touch his clothes, put stuff away when he went through and folded 8 drawers of clothes he never cared about or looked at . IT was just weird to do that one time in decades.
> 
> Again, I 've never called, texted, or written another man so there is no chance in 1000 he'd find anything. I just dont' need my bras , underwear, sweats, etc messed with.


He probably just did it without thinking about it after jumbling things up. No need for concern.


----------



## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

snowbum said:


> He could. But since he's done laundry less than 10 times since 2000 (fine and I'm cool) it' s weird. That's all. Nice, but very weird.


This is why guys don't try and branch out doing helpful things. 🙄🤣🤣🤣


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

CountryMike said:


> This is why guys don't try and branch out doing helpful things. 🙄🤣🤣🤣


Note to self: To hell with my wife’s clothes!!


----------

