# Husband makes me wear the pants constantly... I want them OFF!! Please help!



## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Hi Everyone,

I could use some help with this. I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is the mellow, submissive and money motivated guy (he busts bum at work & is a general manager!) I love him dearly, but some of his behaviors are causing me great grief. 
We purchased a duplex together and have a tenant living in the other side. Every time there is a problem over there, I seem to be the one that makes it a priority to get it done. I usually end up doing the project by myself (last week I installed a faucet). When I ask for him to step in - he will agree to but it's like he can't take on a job without me holding his hand and "helping" him. I am sick of being involved in EVERYTHING and could really use a break from it all! After a couple years of being the "go-getter" in the relationship and completing a ton of home improvements... I am seriously experiencing mental stress & panic because I work 2 jobs on top of all of the responsibilities at home. 
The kicker is seeing him put in serious hours, totally zoned in at work from time to time getting stuff done but why can't he take on that same kind of drive at home? Do you think he is just ultra lazy and pulling this crap to get me to do it all? Should I get out of home ownership if he isn't going to hold up his half of the work required?! He usually just wants to "have fun" on the weekends while I want to try to get at least some small task completed too! Should I let crap just all fall apart & let him see how much I do?! 
Thanks everyone... I love him very much but this is getting SO old!!! Anyone else have a husband or is a husband that turned things around at home?!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If the man works the hours you say, he's obviously not lazy. Maybe he isn't comfortable doing handyman projects because he lacks the skill to do them well. Maybe he has attempted similar projects in the past and received criticism. My wife is a much better painter than I am. When I paint, she rolls her eyes and corrects my work a lot. Guess what? I don't go out of my way to paint. I am pretty handy with electrical work and she isn't, so I jump to do any electrical job that comes up.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

yepp... u nailed it right.. he doesnt have skills but why does a man then avoid at least trying?! fear of criticism? thanks for your insight. good suggest on each doing tasks youre good at. 
Im thinkin we should bail on home ownership until we have means to pay people to do the work!!! =P
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I got a chuckle when I saw the title of your post. All I've got to say is be careful what you wish for....you just might get it. I used to get so annoyed because I had to take care of *everything* around the house (& life in general). As part of the estranged husband's destructive mid-life crisis six years ago, he said he would be "wearing the pants". It has been disastrous. Pretty soon there won't even be a pair of pants to put on!

My estranged husband couldn't do one thing around the house either. That was all left up to me entirely. Fortunately I am a farm girl with all kind of skills. Then whatever I couldn't handle, my dad and brothers took care of. My family said it was okay; they didn't mind because he made a good living for us. I mean the guy had it made! I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't think he is going to change on this one.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Guys have huge egos and if you stroke them, they generally do what you want. When he tries to do something handy, praise him thoroughly. Hey, guys have to go through the same routine when new wives learn to cook. You didn't actually believe that first meal really was the best thing he ever ate, did you? He really doesn't have to be expert at everything. Your carpenter probably couldn't be a General Manager. Elton John is a performer. Nobody expects him to install toilets and sinks. He's just good at what he does and that's enough. Maybe you're strong where he's weak and he's strong where you're weak. That's why we get married. To fill in the gaps.


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