# Confused co worker



## unsurelady (Sep 27, 2013)

Question;
About a year ago, I developed a friendship with a guy at work, we would take breaks togather and lunches it got to the point we were hanging outside of work the very first time we hung out was at the park with our kids he brought me a coffee and we just sat and talked the more we hung out the more we became more comfortable and I opened up to him that I had a crush on him but that I'm happy with my husband he than told me he had a crush on me we continued hanging out and he often would send me messages saying he was thinking of me and how hott I'd look in just bra and underwear... I did say to him many times that I'd have sexy if we both weren't married...but it all stoped when my hubby read the messages and his wife found out that we hung out from her kids, we stopped talking for a while because he said he lied to me he didn't have a crush on me but he still thought I was pretty but we started again as we sat close togather it's been
over a year and he now sits beside me, he's always making comments about me or picking on me we'll yesterday when I was bent over talking to someone he came up behind me and stuck a bottle cap in my back pocket and than was grabbing me feet when I sat down or reaching over to my computer later that day he dropped something and I put my foot over it he than grabbed the inside of my thigh I'm just not sure what to think he will not talk to me outside of work even if I send him something we've talked bout what's all this mean


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Longest run on sentence ever!

Except it doesn't officially end...no period.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Are you 12 year olds? Seriously, you can tell me. I Don't tweet everything people tell me. 

If you can't handle going steady cause some other 12 year old pulls your pigtails and makes you giggle maybe you should ask your teacher to move your Desk. 
.
Your poor husband... 

Stay away from the husband of another woman and grow the hell up, please, before you wreck two marriages.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

It means he wants to cheat with you, and he thinks you want to cheat with him too.

Based on them direction your previous relationship with him was goings it sounds very much like he get you to do it if he just keeps slowly pushing boundaries,

Are you ready to cheat on your husband and get divorced?


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## unsurelady (Sep 27, 2013)

No I'm not 12 I'm 31 and just looking for advice, I don't want to break a marriage bore do I want to get involved with him yes I did before but I think it was based on him knowing he liked me ...


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## unsurelady (Sep 27, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Longest run on sentence ever!
> 
> Except it doesn't officially end...no period.


I wasn't looking for some to beat apart my letter I just want advice


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

unsurelady said:


> I wasn't looking for some to beat apart my letter I just want advice


You have to remember this site is full of people who have been devastated by a cheating spouse. And there are quite a few people who like to troll this site to get a rise out of us. So, if your not a troll, you're quite naive to not be able to see that this guy is trying to get you to cheat.

What you need to do is tell this guy to leave you alone or you are going to HR and file a complaint, or better yet, you need to find a new job.

I hope the best for you.

PS: don't cheat on your husband emotionally or physically.


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## unsurelady (Sep 27, 2013)

Thound said:


> You have to remember this site is full of people who have been devastated by a cheating spouse. And there are quite a few people who like to troll this site to get a rise out of us. So, if your not a troll, you're quite naive to not be able to see that this guy is trying to get you to cheat.
> 
> What you need to do is tell this guy to leave you alone or you are going to HR and file a complaint, or better yet, you need to find a new job.
> 
> ...



I guess I'm naive cause I'm unsure what he's trying to do because he sayes he loves his wife and us happy


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

unsurelady said:


> I guess I'm naive cause I'm unsure what he's trying to do because he sayes he loves his wife and us happy


I'm sure he does love his wife, but to him it would awesome to have you on the side.


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## moto164 (Aug 4, 2013)

If you want to start fooling around get a divorce. Problem solved.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

unsurelady said:


> I guess I'm naive cause I'm unsure what he's trying to do because he sayes he loves his wife and us happy


He wants to bang the hell out of you, and make you feel things your husband never has. That's all he wants from you. He wants his wife for that, plus everything else.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

My experience says that any time someone raises this question they really want to be told just what she is bring told. She wants to hear that his actions tell a different story than his words. She wants him to like her back. And, she wants a place to talk about him so she can feed the fantasy. 

This is really immature infatuation but at an age where it is dangerous and foolish. 

Don't play naive, OP. You know the answer you want to hear. 

Now go tell your husband what is going on so he can babysit you while you play Jr. High with your little boyfriend. 

I am very annoyed with so- called adults who play these games. There are innocent people who you both made lifetime commitments to who will be nothing but devastated at what the two of you know is foreplay disguised as innocent fun. Tell your Husband and tell his wife of he doesn't leave you alone. 

If you don't do that you confirm my experience with these situations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

unsurelady said:


> I guess I'm naive cause I'm unsure what he's trying to do because he sayes he loves his wife and us happy


He's trying to use You for sex, what's there not to understand?


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

You are defintely naive. He want to f you.

Than probably have nothing to do with you ever again. I'm sure you're a nice woman but that's how these men operate. I'm sorry for your husband that you're falling for his BS.

A woman who isn't considering it doesn't give a sht what "all this means".


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

You do realize that you are involved in an EA with this person and therefore both of you have already cheated on your spouses. 

How in the world does your husband allow you to still work there with this person ?

Also, work EA's are very prone to becoming full PA's. If you really don't know this, I suggest you read the book that is quoted in my signature : Not Just Friends, Dr. Shirley Glass


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Unsurelady
Ask yourself: Why am I being so passionate over this man who is not my husband??
That is the real question, not what his action means. It could be he is bored at home and just wants to feel free.
It could be he knows you have no boundaries regarding your own marriage and he is using you to get his kicks.

A real man who has feeling for a married woman would leave her alone, until she is sure of what she needs/wants.

What do you want?
Is cheating viewed as acceptable with you or your family?
What is lacking in your marriage that this other man brings so many feelings?
Whatever you do, DO NOT cheat on your husband. Even if you condone cheating, it is one of the worst and devastating things anyone can ever do to someone else.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

unsurelady said:


> I wasn't looking for some to beat apart my letter I just want advice


Ok, the reason someone said something about your post being one long run on sentence is that it's hard to read. If you want people who read what you write here, it's a good idea to write clearly, use punctuation, paragraphs, etc. 

The person might has said that is a curt manner, but they were trying help you know that your post is hard to read.

If you want. You could hit the edit button and clean up your original post to make it more legible.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Generally, men only spend time with women they want to have sex with. That's what this guy is doing. As the others have said he thinks that you will one day have sex with him. He just wants the sex, not you.

So in the mean time he's playing around with you. His touching you the way he does is wrong. It's clear that he thinks that you are his for the taking.

He also thinks that you too want to have sex with him and will one day. After all you told him that you would like to have sex with him; you let him touch you in ways that only your husband should.

If you were serious about not wanting him to touch you and not wanting sex with you, you would tell him to STOP what he's doing. You would avoid him. 

I can only imagine what others at work say about the two of you behind your backs. Do any of them every say anything to you about it?

YOu need to tell this guy to stop it. Tell him that you are uncomfortable with his advances, his touching, etc. Be strong about it and firm. Good words to use are "I've thought about how you interact with me and it's wrong. Stay away from me."

HOw many employees are there where you work?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

He has decided things have cooled down enough at his hone that he thinks it is safe to have sex with you.

His actions are both to test your receptiveness to having sex with him, and to get you think about the idea of saving sex with him.

My advice - tell your husband that X is making advances on you, and tell X if he doesn't stop you'll be calling sexual harassment to the boss.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Ask your husband what this guys actions mean?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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