# What do you do when they try to talk about court with you?



## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

My STBXH told me he had to talk to me. Im sure its about court/child support. I dont wanna talk about that stuff. All that can get hashed out in court.

We are meeting half way on sunday so he can see his kids, its been 6 months since hes seen them. I dont even wanna talk about it sunday either. Its not about he and i, its about him spending time with his kids. 


Am i the only one who doesnt wanna talk about court stuff? Im just so sick of talking about it. I just filed for divorce a week ago. I have no paper work. He will get all the paper work and we will get a court date. 

So whats there to discuss?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, it's a choice. Tell him to call your lawyer if he has something to say.

Depends on how adversarial you want to be.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As the previous poster says, refer him to your lawyer if you don't want to talk about it. But the more you can work out on your own without lawyers being involved, the less it will cost you, and the less adversarial it will be. For example, my understanding would be that every time your lawyer has to touch your file (whether you initiate the action or your spouse does), you'll get dinged for whatever his minimum billing amout is (0.1 hours). So if your STBX sends 10 emails throughout the day, he'll be chewing up your money. But clarify this with your lawyer first.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It will save a heck of a lot of money to do it outside of court. Saving it for court is the pricey way to go. Lawyers will charge you for EVERYTHING. Every email, every phone call, everytime they even thought about your case, etc.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

You don't have to talk to him about court. If you are worried that mentioning this will cause some kind of inappropriate confrontation or are just worried about it in general, then exchange the kids at a police station or some other public forum. One thing WS hate is being held responsible for what they have done either legally or financially. Your deadbeat STBXH is probably angry that you are pursuing child support instead of thinknig about the best interests of his children that he has effectively abandoned.
Also, now that child support is in front of the court, expect him to want to get WAY more involved in the children's lives as he will want more time to pay less.


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

I dont like talking about court because we have agreed on everything already. We arent doing lawyers, he isnt moving up to Maryland so there's no fight for the kids. The only thing i want is the furniture and the car he bought me, which he gave me the title to already and sole physical and legal custody of the kids. He can come see the kids but there will also be rules while he has them (since my youngest has allergies,etc). He has agreed to it all. So i dont get why he always tries to talk about everything.

He did tell me today though that the army will pay to move my stuff back up here, but i have to tell him where i want them to drop it off at, so no wi need to figure that out.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The sooner y'all come to an agreement, the sooner you get to move on with your life. I'd welcome the chance to talk directly to him. If you work things out, expensive lawyers don't have to. I have better things to spend my money on.


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