# SICK OF HIS WAYS!!!! Letting it all out



## sbfrancis (Nov 28, 2010)

Let me start from the top.. My husband and I have been married for 14.5 years. We were foolish to get married at 18. People said it wouldnt last long, but it did and now is SLOWLY coming to an end. We have a 7 yr old little girl and a son that is due in Feb, if I make it that long. We've had our problems over the years. I'm being an ungreatful and selfish person that he is.. He has cheated on me from day one, came clean when he was caught red handed on his birthday in "08. Like a fool, I tried to forgive him when it all came out. Got depressed, lost 80 lbs thinkin that maybe he would like the smaller me. 

Last year, I ended up cheating on him. Something I'm not proud of and something I struggled with. I've always been the person who swore I'd never do anything like that and have always stuck by my guns. I have no excuses as to why I did what I did. It just happened.. I decided to come clean to him shortly after he left me back in June. We were trying to make things right and he came clean about his relationship he had with a co-worker while he was gone. NOTE: I was 8 wks pregnant and emotional and had already caught him in the bed with another woman weeks before this all came out. The night he came home to talk, he was down on his knees begging me to forgive him and telling me he was tired of all the lies and so, I decided to tell him what I had done. BIG MISTAKE. Its been on big roller coster ride from there own. 

According to him, every problem we have had since March of '09 is because of what I did. Its all my fault.. Lets not forget all the times he's been with other women and I pretty much knew what was going on, just didnt have the proof - up until Feb. '08. But it still all my fault.. Why is this?? I've allowed this monster to come back into my home over the past 30 wks of my pregnancy several times cause I really dont want to let him go. He is the love of my life, he is all I really know. Knowing good and damn well that his relationship with is little pizza driver never ended, yes never ended even when he was back in our home. But yet, I drove him to do what he did with her cause I cheated on him.. STRANGE..

When he first left, I contacted my laywer and started the divorce.. It has been stopped and started about 4 times.. I finally had enough of the emotional and mental abuse from him Nov. 2 and told him to get out.. It really got to a point that he was telling me he was gonna she her, like it or not. So, he left got him a small little apartment and pretty much has moved her right on in with him, excpet for her kids. He still tells me he hasnt givin up on our marriage.. Well, to me he has therefor I have. The day after I told him to leave I started the divorce back up. He had already been served the papers but was back in our home at the time. So the laywer had to renotify him.. He refuses to respond.. I'm sick of it.

This evening, he gets on the phone with our daughter, telling her that me, my mom, and my dad are all trying to keep him away from her. Which is totally not true. Why would anyone want to tell a child that? All I'm asking is that he doesnt take her to his work and around his "girlfriend".. Whats the big deal. Now, lets not forget about the days he has off and doesnt even bother to aske if he can see his child, lets not forget about Thanksgiving Day when I told him he could get her in the afternoon and chose not to, but chose to spend his afternoon with his father and new "girlfriend". Lets not forget about yesterday, when he didnt have to be at work until 5 pm and chose to play Mr. Rockstar in a little jam session.. But, I'm keeping him away from his daughter..

And so we now have another issue, Our unborn son that is due in Feb, on his birthday. Why in the world would I want him by my side when I deliver our son. He hasnt be here with me through this whole pregnancy. I know he has every right to be there when this baby is born, but why on earth do I want him there?? I went into preterm labor 2 wks ago (28 wks) and he damn sure wasnt by my side. I feel like he really doesnt care. Yes, he did bring me clothes but the first thing he said to me as soon as he came into the hospital room was, if you wouldnt kicked me out we wouldnt be going through this right now. That, of course started a big argument and got me upset, something that didnt need to happen. He left.. I've been on bed rest since, outta work, tryin to do my best with my daughter and thankfully my mother has stepped in to help out as much as she can. No help from him, with the exception of the 300.00/every other week for child support.

I can't stand him for what he has done and the person he has become. He makes me sick everytime I see him. He comes by acting like he wants to see his little girl, yet drills me as to what I'm doing and wants to always talk about us.. But never spends time with his daughter.. I know what his plans are. He thinks once hes son is born, he can come crawling back into our lives and everything will be alright.. Its just not gonna happen, not this time around. 

Sorry if this isnt a good post. I'm new at this whole thing. Really dont know where to start.. I'm just writing down what comes to mind cause it always seems to help.. I'd love to take any advise.. So please give it to me


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Wow that is some professional level "letting off steam"! Good job! I bet you feel better just getting that out!


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Very good to hear your mom is able to help hon. Also glad to hear he will be kicked right back out the doggy door should he make a run at it.

Get some good rest hon ::hugs::


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