# Feel like a married single mom!



## russetc (Jan 19, 2020)

Husband doesn’t help with kids, looking for advice.


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## russetc (Jan 19, 2020)

Looking for advice. I’m married with 3 kids. My husband works FT, I work PT but also take care of our kids 99.9% of the time. My husband doesn’t help, he says all he does is work and I don’t.. yet I do! He never takes our kids to their activities or anything they need to be at .. it always me. He will sometimes go with us but never will just take them in his own... it’s very strange! Don’t get me wrong I love being at my kids sports but a little help would be nice sometimes, I can’t do it all! however in his mind I have it so easy. He is not one I can sit down and discuss this, unfortunately it gets no where. Looking for some advice or if anyone else’s husband is like this?!


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## russetc (Jan 19, 2020)

*Divorce with kids question*

Does anyone know if your ex gets kids every other weekend and the kids have commitments ie - sports, can the husband just not take them? I’m afraid my kids would never be at their sports or anything they are supposed to be at on his wkend... is this something he would have to take them to or no???


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Divorce with kids question*

From your other thread, it sounds like you are still living with your husband and have not filed for divorce.

This is something that gets worked out during the divorce. Why do you think he would only have the children ever other weekend? It's getting more and more common for custody to be 50/50.

How many hours a week does your husband work? Does he do hard manual labor? Or does he work at a desk?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

What happens when you talk about this? What would happen if you just went out one night and told him he had to step up?


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

russetc said:


> Husband doesn’t help with kids, looking for advice.


Other people will likely chime in with request for more information, but I'm not going to do that.>

What is your situation? Do you both work outside the home, or does one of you work at home full-time or partially?

By doesn't help, what do you mean? Does he not change diapers or bathe them or help with night-night? 

Or is it other domestic tasks?


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

russetc said:


> Looking for advice. I’m married with 3 kids. My husband works FT, I work PT but also take care of our kids 99.9% of the time. My husband doesn’t help, he says all he does is work and I don’t.. yet I do! He never takes our kids to their activities or anything they need to be at .. it always me. He will sometimes go with us but never will just take them in his own... it’s very strange! Don’t get me wrong I love being at my kids sports but a little help would be nice sometimes, I can’t do it all! however in his mind I have it so easy. He is not one I can sit down and discuss this, unfortunately it gets no where. Looking for some advice or if anyone else’s husband is like this?!


You probably shouldn't start separate threads on the same subject.

It would help to know how many children, their ages, and what it is they are involved in.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Tell us a bit more about your situation, is he working long hours, travelling etc. Do you work? etc.
There should be a sharing of domestic responsibilities although in all fairness it usually falls to the female due to tradition, how the man is brought up etc. Have you talked to him about this. if he sits on his ass and watches TV while you slave then that is another matter.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@russetc

You started 3 threads on essentially the same topic so I merged them all into one thread. You will get better input with one thread on a topic.


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## jane jasmine (Dec 29, 2019)

I think you should try switching roles for a few days, so both of you can appreciate each others work. 
He's probably thinking it's normal for a woman to handle "family stuff", while he is working on more "manly stuff", i don't know

But yes, taking care of kids, the logistics, paying bills, etc.. is also work.

As I said, try switching responsibilities, and never insult each other by saying one or the other doesn't do any work. It is demotivational and destructive.


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