# Wife has POCS



## Myshadow (Aug 22, 2013)

I am new to this forum and have many things to discuss and would like to have an outlet.

My wife and I have recently discoverd that she has PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). Some information on our sex life can be found under Sex & Marriage.

We have planned on starting a family for sometime now pretty much about 3 years ago. We noticed that for some reason it wasn't working so we both went to the doctors, did all the testing than got the news. Now having PCOS isn't a death sentence, it just means that you need assistance in order to have kids.

For almost a year she has not made the effort to loss weight or take the steps needed to help us have kids. She has to take something called "clomid" as a first step but she is afarid of having an upset stomach or throwing up. 

Now I would assume that if a couple is trying to have a family they would do anything possible in order to have kids. I would sacriface and go through hell to have a family but it seems like it just isn't possible.

Does anyone have adivce on how I can make her get motivated to loss weight and start the first step? I have tried to workout with her but it seems she only wants to lose weight if she has to go to a wedding or vacation.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

If dieting were easy we'd all be thin.

Is she an emotional eater?


----------



## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Based on your other thread, ff you have a baby with her, you are really making a big mistake.


----------



## Myshadow (Aug 22, 2013)

lol yes Hicks I think about my decision and actions to a point it really effects my mood and work, social life which isn't good. Her body stores sugar into fat and she enjoys deserts. I wouldn't say she eats bad I just think she should be more active and cut out sugars. Keep in mind I do love her regardless of her weight however once weight is an issue heathy wise then thats when I step in.

It weird because I have a close friend who was in the same position sort of, had a kid thinking it would change things and it didn't so they got a divorce.


----------



## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

An ex girlfriend of mine has this and she and her now husband now have 4 kids (3 are triplets, one singleton). Hang in there.


----------



## Myshadow (Aug 22, 2013)

BrockLanders said:


> An ex girlfriend of mine has this and she and her now husband now have 4 kids (3 are triplets, one singleton). Hang in there.


Good for her, I am sure I will have kids just a long haul ahead of use.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I have POCS also. However, most people are getting away from referring to the condition as POCS. It is now recognized as an insulin resistance problem and treated as such. Clomid use for solving the infertility problem associated with POCS is old school. Your wife really needs to be seen by an endocrinologist.

While some people can control the problem with diet alone, many of us have to rely on medication. The medication I've been on the past 14 years has been a blessing. Your wife really doesn't need to become pregnant until she has the problem/weight under control. Most women with this condition have gestational diabetes and that adds another bunch of problems.


----------



## Myshadow (Aug 22, 2013)

827Aug said:


> I have POCS also. However, most people are getting away from referring to the condition as POCS. It is now recognized as an insulin resistance problem and treated as such. Clomid use for solving the infertility problem associated with POCS is old school. Your wife really needs to be seen by an endocrinologist.
> 
> While some people can control the problem with diet alone, many of us have to rely on medication. The medication I've been on the past 14 years has been a blessing. Your wife really doesn't need to become pregnant until she has the problem/weight under control. Most women with this condition have gestational diabetes and that adds another bunch of problems.



Yes I did think about Endocrinologist, however she said the doctor say seeing one is not recommend. I may get a second opinion. The thing is this doctor gives each patient the same diagnoses. She has a work colleague, going through the same thing with the same doctor. 

I will look into gestational diabetes and see if she has that.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Definitely change doctors. This doctor is about 15 years behind. 

Your wife wouldn't have gestational diabetes because she isn't pregnant. This type of diabetes only occurs in pregnant women who are insulin resistant.


----------



## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

I have this condition. Losing weight is difficult. We had two children biologically with no medical assistance, but adopted the two youngest.

We had the first two when I was in my early 20's and before I was diagnosed. 

While PCOD is not a death sentence, it does need to be monitored and appropriate meds need to be taken..it can lead, in part, to issues with the cardiac, urinary, etc systems.

Encourage her, help her, because she probably does not feel optimal.


----------



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

She doesn't have gestational diabetes YET... Gestational diabetes is diabetes that occurs in your body only due to the pregnancy. The extra weight and body stress of building another life inside you is too much for the pancrease to handle pumping out enough insulin.

The fear is that while pregnant, she will get diabetes and have to take insulin for a healthy baby. I had gestational diabetes. It usually completely goes away after the baby is born, but you have a much higher risk of becoming diabetic later in life (I became diabetic about 5 years later... much younger than most.)

But, I have a question. Did she "recently" get diagnosed with this PCOS? Maybe she is depressed about it. IF so, she needs to adjust to that... and if she has an increased risk of gestational diabetes from it, her weight needs to be under control FIRST. 

No. she doesn't have to be "skinny" or thin. She just needs to be able to have healthy eating habits, and exercize/walking habits. If she ends up needing to be on insulin during any pregnancies.. She needs to be able to have the mind-set to be able to do it. To be taking the medicine, not for HER life, but for the unborn babies life.

If she resists medicines now, I really do not think she is at a place in her life that she should be getting pregnant. Healthy eating regiments & taking all meds when you need to, are a MUST for gestational diabetes. And unless they've found new oral meds, you cannot take the diabetes pills while pregnant. The pills would cross into the umbilical cord to the baby. The baby could go into low blood sugar & have heart problems, and you have no idea. When the mother takes insulin, it only treats HER blood sugars.. it does not adjust the babies blood sugar or health risks.

Sorry... just a rant about gestational diabetes. It is something not to take lightly. If she is not emotionally healthy to accept seeing a second doctor, or accept taking medicines a doctor prescribes, then she should NOT be trying to get pregnant right now.

You have plenty of years to get pregnant and have a baby. Do not be selfish in wanting a baby "now" when your wife needs emotional help.


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

LonelyinLove said:


> I have this condition. Losing weight is difficult. We had two children biologically with no medical assistance, but adopted the two youngest.
> 
> We had the first two when I was in my early 20's and before I was diagnosed.
> 
> ...


Yes, and the condition has other symptoms. Depression, mood swings, joint pain and fatigue are also common. It can make a person miserable. It really does cause problems in a relationship. Proper diet and/or medications are IMPORTANT!


----------



## Myshadow (Aug 22, 2013)

Interesting. She was diagnose with PCOS this past January. Over the past year she has had more mood swings, pain etc. I will talk to her tomorrow about it. Thanks everyone for the advice


----------



## SteppingStones (Dec 20, 2010)

I have PCOS. I have had it since I was a teenager, but was only recently officially diagnosed with it. My husband and I also tried for 3 years to get pregnant and I am now pregnant with our first child. 

Losing weight when you have PCOS is HARD! It's harder than it is for people without the disease because of the insulin resistance others have mentioned. I take Metformin for my insulin resistance and it seems to help me control my weight - at least to not continually gain. I have struggled and struggled with my weight for years - even when I was a very active teen and a vegetarian, it was hard to keep the weight off. 

For baby making purposes - we tried clomid for a year or so, it did nothing even at very high doses. We finally went to a different doctor who specialized in fertility in women with PCOS. They recommended Femara (Letrozole). We used it for one month and conceived that very month. 

PCOS is frustrating as a woman. Yes depression and mood instability is also common. I have battled both along with my PCOS. There are meds that can help level out her moods too - like Abilify or Celexa (I take both, or did before I got pregnant and I think my husband would agree they made it easier to live with me).

I hope this helps, and good luck!


----------

