# Am I too sensitive?



## DiZ

I am going through the change. Was sensitive to begin with and now I am much more so.

My husband never ever compliments me. Never says I am pretty, smell nice, soft skin, o you know...the kinds of things us women like to hear from the men we love.

BUT he compliments everyone else! O she is pretty, I like what she has on... 

Sometime I let it go but this morning when he said someone was pretty I got upset. He asks why? I say it is because you never compliment me and when you compliment a complete stranger it hurts me. If he would compliment me once in awhile it wouldn't matter when he does others.

So of course then I got tons of compliments but I know it won't last. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?


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## lamaga

You are NOT. My ex was this way -- even worse, he bragged about how he simply would not be manipulated into "meaningless" compliments -- and then he'd compliment a female friend in front of me.

Not saying that's what your guy is doing, maybe he is just oblivious, but yeah, it's really hurtful. I'm so sorry, Diz.


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## Toffer

DiZ,

Hopefully he got the message this time!

I always laugh whenever I hear my wife come home and the dog (really her dog) runs to greet her. The dog is hugged, loved and fussed over.

Occasionally, when I hear her come in, I run downstairs, wag my "tail" and jump around like the dog to try and get some of that level of attention too!


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## SunnyT

With my ex, I never got compliments....and the cat got all the lovin' when he came in from work. 

With my now H (6 years) I had to LEARN how to take a compliment. I figured he was just blowing smoke every time he said something nice. It was hard to trust his words, since I thought he was just ....I don't know, flirting? Lucky for me, he understood. He still gives me lots of compliments. Of course, I often think he is crazy or blind... but it sure is nice to hear!!!


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## daisygirl 41

Toffer said:


> DiZ,
> 
> Hopefully he got the message this time!
> 
> I always laugh whenever I hear my wife come home and the dog (really her dog) runs to greet her. The dog is hugged, loved and fussed over.
> 
> Occasionally, when I hear her come in, I run downstairs, wag my "tail" and jump around like the dog to try and get some of that level of attention too!


Sad and funny at the same time Toffer!
Visions of you behaving like a puppy to et attention!
Sometimes we dont realise what we've got until its gone!


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## daisygirl 41

DiZ said:


> I am going through the change. Was sensitive to begin with and now I am much more so.
> 
> My husband never ever compliments me. Never says I am pretty, smell nice, soft skin, o you know...the kinds of things us women like to hear from the men we love.
> 
> BUT he compliments everyone else! O she is pretty, I like what she has on...
> 
> Sometime I let it go but this morning when he said someone was pretty I got upset. He asks why? I say it is because you never compliment me and when you compliment a complete stranger it hurts me. If he would compliment me once in awhile it wouldn't matter when he does others.
> 
> 
> So of course then I got tons of compliments but I know it won't last. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?


No you arent. its very hurtful behvaiour.
Feeling mischevious today, just start commenting on good looking, buff men you see around you and on tv. See if he likes it!
Get yourself a nice George Clooney/hunky guy calender and comment on the lovely new pic every month!

whats good for him....


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## CandieGirl

No you're not being too sensitive. I wouldn't like it if my husband said stuff like "Oh she's pretty" or "Oh I like what she's wearing". Unwritten rule is that you can think what you want, but don't always say what you think. I couldn't exist with him in marriage if he had that kind of verbal diarrhea.


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## Seawolf

You're not too sensitive, and hubs should go out of his way to compliment, in fact all partners should do this. However, allow me to point out that far too many women don't know how to take a compliment. Far too often the response we men get to a "you're beautiful" comment is "no I'm not". Exactly what are supposed to do with this?! Of course we say, "yes you are!". At which point we get the, "I'm fat" or "my hips are too big"....at some point it just becomes easier, not to mention less dangerous to say nothing.

So, for all me out there, if you recognize yourself in the comments above, please learn to just say, "thank you", or if that is too much, "I love you too". And if you don't fell like saying anything is appropriate, a nice BJ will always gene appreciated!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess

My husband does this, too. :sigh:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DiZ

lamaga said:


> You are NOT. My ex was this way -- even worse, he bragged about how he simply would not be manipulated into "meaningless" compliments -- and then he'd compliment a female friend in front of me.
> 
> Not saying that's what your guy is doing, maybe he is just oblivious, but yeah, it's really hurtful. I'm so sorry, Diz.


Thanks. Sometimes I wonder if I am going crazy.

Right now he cannot find a file he kept from 1987! Who keeps things that long? Men kill me.:scratchhead:


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## ScarletBegonias

Like the others I don't think you're being too sensitive.Compliments are an important part of keeping that "in love" feeling going.

Nothing is better than getting a text out of the blue with something like, "baby you looked great when you left for work this morning."

My exhusband was the extreme opposite of the non-complimenting guy. He complimented me SO much than i began to doubt his sincerity and the meaningfulness of the compliments began to die.

Current boyfriend,doesn't compliment me constantly but when he does I KNOW he truly means it.

And I agree wholeheartedly with Seawolf. When your man compliments you...don't fire back with a denial or contradiction.It's discouraging.

I use the compliment to a compliment method. If my boyfriend says, "you're so sexy baby." I'll say "ooh thank you I think YOU'RE sexy my love!"

We both walk away smiling and feeling great


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## Katiebird

Oh Diz - I certainly understand. When first dating H used to say how beautiful I was, how good I smelled, compliment hair, eyes, etc. I am a professional and I work and still have to dress decently, fix my hair, etc. However, I never get a compliment . . . about anything. How I look, how I cook, anything . . . someone mentioned the attention that the dog gets - sometimes I would love to be the dog. . . And yes, I do compliment him. While he doesn't blatently talk about how other women look, he has commented recently on how much "fun" someone else was. I so hear you . . .


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## SoxFan

Well I certainly see myself here. Not very complementary to my wife either. This thread is a good wake up call for me. Sort of just got out of the habit over the years I guess. Time to make a change and I wouldn't mind it if I heard one now and again from her either. Maybe I should show her this thread.......Think if I start there will be some reciprocation??


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## Bellavista

My husband always made comments about other women on TV or sometimes even to the extent of calling other mothers 'Yummy Mummies'. I recently asked him to please stop doing this & he was astounded that it upset me. I don't like it, because like you I am going through the change & it is not just my hormones that are changing!
I could have continued to silently stew about this & expect him to read my mind, but by saying something to H, he now knows this behaviour is hurtful to me.
Your husband may have been unaware of how his comments were upsetting you, take him at his word when he compliments you, don't throw it back & for goodness sake, don't dismiss his compliments with a "Well you are only saying that because I made you feel bad or because you have to."


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## EleGirl

Toffer said:


> DiZ,
> 
> Hopefully he got the message this time!
> 
> I always laugh whenever I hear my wife come home and the dog (really her dog) runs to greet her. The dog is hugged, loved and fussed over.
> 
> Occasionally, when I hear her come in, I run downstairs, wag my "tail" and jump around like the dog to try and get some of that level of attention too!


I work outside the home. My now exH does not. He has never acknowledged me when I come home. If he stops playing his computer game long enough to say "hello" it's a miracle.

My dogs.. all three of them are like your wife's dog. They even fight over who gets to get the most attention from me when I walk in the door. Were it not for them I think I would have stopped coming home a long time ago.. well there are the kids as well.. but they are in their 20's and very busy with college and jobs.


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## EleGirl

SoxFan said:


> Well I certainly see myself here. Not very complementary to my wife either. This thread is a good wake up call for me. Sort of just got out of the habit over the years I guess. Time to make a change and I wouldn't mind it if I heard one now and again from her either. Maybe I should show her this thread.......Think if I start there will be some reciprocation??


Do it with no expectations of her doing the same. Just let her know what you like about her looks, her personality and the things she does. We tend to respond to positive things. When we get nothing positive for a behavior it kills the behavior.

If after a few weeks she has not caught on, then talk with her and tell her how you too would like to hear positive things about yourself from her.


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