# eHarmony & other dating sites...



## mm04

To start out with, I want you say that I did NOT meet my H on a dating site. I met him though a friend.

Before I met my H, I went onto eHarmony to find someone. Everyone I had ever met and dated just didnt seem like THE ONE. Well 1 month into looking though my matches, I found someone. He seemed almost perfect. We chated for quite sometime and it really felt REAL. Then we finally exchanged numbers and began talking on the phone & texting. I was ready for a serious relationship and so was he. Only problem, he seems too ready. He immediately began calling me sweetie, darlin, babe ect. It really was too fast for me. We didnt live in the same town, let alone the same state. I really wanted to meet this guy but he scared me how 'clingly' he got in a short amount of time. I told him that I really wanted to slow things down. 

Well then I met my H. He was in the same state and we talked alot. He was ready to commit but was also respectful of being slow. We got engaged and married all in about 2 years. 

In these two years, I still talked to the guy I met online, and he knew I met a more 'local' guy and that I was getting married. And during a vacation, my husband and I ended up meeting this guy because we were passing though his hometown. To tell you the truth, wow this guy is 100% truthful and just a true gentleman. Dont get my wrong I LOVE my H but this guy from eHarmony, he definatly WOW'D me. 


NOW, my question for you all is, Do you think there is a real truth to eHarmony and other dating sites? That the matches are 100% true chemistry? 

Again I love my husband dearly and we are BOTH friends with this guy now, although we dont talk and go visit him regularly which would be really weird anyways if we did; But sometimes I wonder if that guy would have been a better match for me than my H. The issues my H and I have been though have been really tough, and have lead to the thought of separation many times, although we never did separate. 


Im really courious on how many online matches are a true match made in heaven, or if its the same chance as meeting someone though a friend, at a bar or where ever.


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## lamaga

I'd say it's a crapshoot. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I do think you should be careful with where your fantasies take you.


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## SadSamIAm

I think you should give up this guy friend you met on E-Harmony. Sounds like you think too much about him. That you have thoughts that he would be better for you than your husband.

Step away from the fire.


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## lamaga

I used eHarmony once, filled out the questionnaires as honestly as I could, and got matched with someone that I never, ever would have gotten along with -- not as a friend, much less as a lover.

Yep. It's just luck, mostly.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

I don't put much stock in it. You might be compatible, but if you don't actually want to like, mate with the guy, how compatible is that?
Vive la difference!


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## jh52

mm04 said:


> To start out with, I want you say that I did NOT meet my H on a dating site. I met him though a friend.
> 
> Before I met my H, I went onto eHarmony to find someone. Everyone I had ever met and dated just didnt seem like THE ONE. Well 1 month into looking though my matches, I found someone. He seemed almost perfect. We chated for quite sometime and it really felt REAL. Then we finally exchanged numbers and began talking on the phone & texting. I was ready for a serious relationship and so was he. Only problem, he seems too ready. He immediately began calling me sweetie, darlin, babe ect. It really was too fast for me. We didnt live in the same town, let alone the same state. I really wanted to meet this guy but he scared me how 'clingly' he got in a short amount of time. I told him that I really wanted to slow things down.
> 
> Well then I met my H. He was in the same state and we talked alot. He was ready to commit but was also respectful of being slow. We got engaged and married all in about 2 years.
> 
> In these two years, I still talked to the guy I met online, and he knew I met a more 'local' guy and that I was getting married. And during a vacation, my husband and I ended up meeting this guy because we were passing though his hometown. To tell you the truth, wow this guy is 100% truthful and just a true gentleman. Dont get my wrong I LOVE my H but this guy from eHarmony, he definatly WOW'D me.
> 
> 
> NOW, my question for you all is, Do you think there is a real truth to eHarmony and other dating sites? That the matches are 100% true chemistry?
> 
> Again I love my husband dearly and we are BOTH friends with this guy now, although we dont talk and go visit him regularly which would be really weird anyways if we did; But sometimes I wonder if that guy would have been a better match for me than my H. The issues my H and I have been though have been really tough, and have lead to the thought of separation many times, although we never did separate.
> 
> 
> Im really courious on how many online matches are a true match made in heaven, or if its the same chance as meeting someone though a friend, at a bar or where ever.


Stop contact with this guy or you will be drawn into an EA. Concentrate on your husand. We all make choices in life -- and we all have some doubt if we make the correct choice -- but saying that is also people don't dwell on their decision. You and your husband met him and became friends -- which just makes it easier for you to continue to think about OM and even stay in contact.

I did not read if you told your husband the whole story -- and that would include thinking about the OM and and if you made a mistake. If you did -- IMO he wouldn't be friends with OM.


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## england 75

I found happiness through meeting a partner through an online travel dating site and to be honest it can work, on the flip side, with dating sites you really don't know the person's background and many people will lie or use dating sites for a quick flink as there is no comeback.

I'm sure if you vet people closely you can end up happy. It slightly takes away that fate connection, but these days life is too short to wait for mr or mrs right to fall on your lap at a work party etc.

*edit, found this site too which is free: Free UK Dating Site. it's pretty new but looks ok.. is there such a thing as free though?


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## DDC

The grass is always greener...

You have a long-term relationship with your husband which involves exploring the good, bad, beautiful, ugly, warts and all.

With the other guy, you have a snapshot of a brief meeting. What he is, in reality, is simply a fantasy.


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## aug

In your thread and in your post:


mm04 said:


> My sister and her ex H didn't either... But their reason was because the honeymoon suite wasn't wHat my sister wanted and she threw a fit...
> 
> With my H, he didn't want to because we had so protection (condoms). That simply made him not want to do it... We did it anyways but he didn't finish... It wasn't what I had expected...at all. Now being married, I have repetively told him that I enjoy the sex and that's because he's the only man I've ever been with to give me an orgasim.. Many of them. So why such a rejection to sex. Being married just about a year and it's only once a month, and he's been taking care of his sexual needs himself when I'm gone away at work or something, do that he doesn't have sex ... I don't understand. I'm honestly very hurt.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Several things are happening here.

First, you got your husband to meet a potential lover of yours, someone you kept in touch with all this time, someone you had your husband accept as friend.

Second, I have the feeling that he knows something is up with you.

Third, I think your husband knows you're not totally into him.

You're 23 years old and your marriage is young. There are pitfalls to avoid. One of them is dont cheat. Dont commit adultery.


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## keko

mm04, that guy is not 100% truthful as you make it out to be. Those guys are called PUA(pick up artist). Meaning they'll be able go into your pants much easier then your husband's type can.


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## Revel

I realize that this is an old thread, but I thought that I'd comment for anyone else that comes along later. I met my wife on eharmony. Eharmony makes no claims about them being able to match you with someone with good chemistry. They only try to match for compatibility. I met several women from eharmony before I found my wife. Most of the others were nice people, but there wasn't chemistry, or there were other issues.


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## Stella Moon

what are the best dating sites out there? I mean the good cleaner most likely successful ones if that question can even be answered? Who has the best reputation for matches? Anyone know or have stories to swap? Sites with good honest quality people?


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## Malcolm38

It's a thread from the summer, but $10 says that she is having a lot of "WOW" moments with the eHarmony Mr. Perfect.


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