# Looking up exes?



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Anyone here look up their exes to see what they are up to and to see how their life turned out? Not to contact them, but just to look? By googling?

Me, I can't stand my ex h. I hope to never come across him ever again. He was abusive and unfaithful. I actually hate him and there are only 2 people whom I hate. He is one and my old next door neighbor is the other.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

No. I actually don't. Yuck, how disrespectful would that be to my husband?

PS - I hate my exes too.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

I have done that and I'll check out their profile or read something on Google about them and I think "what the he!! was I thinking?". It's therapeutic at times - Reminds me how good I have it at my own home now  And how thankful I am for my current life! 

I don't think it's disrespectful unless you plan on pursuing an ex or a former fling. If an ex has an open profile, I'll share it with my H if he's interested.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Absolutely NOT.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

By looking up I mean Googling the name to see what the person is doing. I'm not contacting them via Facebook, text or email. If that's what you mean then yes, I have. My husband knows it too. I've looked up old girlfriends of his just to know what they're doing. I look up people I went to high school and grad school with, co-workers who left the office, old neighbors, cousins I've lost touch with, old teachers and so on. I'm inquisitive in case you couldn't tell. I don't have an active Facebook account so I use Google. 

I have no desire to contact these people. I'm just curious about what they're doing.


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Seems like a potential way to stir up trouble. Not worth it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Unsure in Seattle said:


> Seems like a potential way to stir up trouble. Not worth it.


I completely agree with this.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My exes are pretty stealth (only 2). I dig that about them. Couldn't find them online even if you tried to. I don't look them up either. My exH, on the other hand, likes to broadcast every fart, beer or skank he happens to have sitting on his lap for the world to see. I did FB stalk him for awhile (not gonna lie) but I realized it was hindering my recovery so I had to stop doing that. (In my defense, our break up was very recent compared to the other 2). I haven't been in a relationship since so I can't answer for looking up exes while in a current relationship.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Bad bad juju in anything associated with old Ex's. No good can come from this. 

Of course I'm a poster child for what bad can happen when Ex's look you up on facebook out of the blue. Bad Bad Bad.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

I have, but it was in the context of looking up people that I had hung out with in high school or college. Not to contact them, but more like something happened that made me think about a particular group that I did things with, one of whom I dated for a time.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

of course...doesn't everyone? it's just harmless curiosity if there is no contact.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

It's a very slippery slope. Why tempt fate?

Or said another way. Curiosity killed the cat. And in the case of old Ex's, satisfaction most certainly does not bring him back, all it does is run the poor bastard over along with everyone around him.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yep, curiosity is not a sin.

I managed to fight off the temptations of that slippery slope


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

couple said:


> of course...doesn't everyone? it's just harmless curiosity if there is no contact.


No, I personally don't. Like I said before, I really can not stand my ex h.lol

Luckily I've been divorced 17 years from him. I found a wonderful man that's the polar opposite from my ex. 

Actually my husband now is my very first true love.


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Anyone here look up their exes to see what they are up to and to see how their life turned out? Not to contact them, but just to look? By googling?
> 
> Me, I can't stand my ex h. I hope to never come across him ever again. He was abusive and unfaithful. I actually hate him and there are only 2 people whom I hate. He is one and my old next door neighbor is the other.


My wife has looked up ex-boyfriends in the past and I'm okay with that. I think if she went beyond looking them up, seeing what they're up to and such I'd have a problem with it. But just simple curiosity is fine, though of course I'd prefer she didn't look at all. I guess it's no big deal when it comes down to it though.


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## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

Funny how most here think looking up an ex is putting yourself in trouble or is trouble.
I'm friendly with all my exe's (3). I'm best friends with an ex from high school (but we are both gay m/f). And I recently got in contact with my ex husband who I've had no contact with for 18 years.

I have no desire to be in a relationship with any of them. There is a reason they are "EXE'S". But just because our relationship didn't work doesn't mean the friendship aspect isn't there.

And yes, I've hung out with them while in the relationship I'm in now.
I'm upfront and honest about it. Nothing to hide. I even let my spouse read the emails from my ex husband. I was a bit annoyed by it 'cause I've never given a reason for her to even think I would cheat. I think there should be 'some' privacy where emails are concerned.
But it made her feel better and showed we were talking about nothing but catching up on each other, my disabilities, my garden, my animals, my spouse, his travels, his job, etc. No biggie.

He may even visit me (all my exe's are in Cali). And of course my partner would hang with us until she got bored. lol I don't think she would want to drive for miles on end to visit all the sports stadiums in NC or go to basketball or football games. But who knows.

I'm told people who are given a chance to cheat will cheat. I don't believe that. I believe you can't stop your spouse from cheating on you if they want to cheat.
And people who know me know I don't approve of cheaters. I think it's tasteless and cowardly. And I think if you worried over every little thing your spouse does and think it could be "cheating", you must not believe your relationship is that solid.


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

I look them up all the time
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> My exes are pretty stealth (only 2). I dig that about them. Couldn't find them online even if you tried to. I don't look them up either.


This is me to a T. I've had old friends try to find me and can't. There is nothing online about me. Nothing.

If they look hard enough they find me only because my sister-in-law has the same name as me and it's a HIGHLY unusual name. They get my info from her (with my permission of course).

So that means to find me you'd have to know the married name I've had for 20 years and if you know that you aren't an EX. I don't talk to Ex's


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't have ex husband....I talk to my ex about our child.

My ex boyfriends...no need to look them up as they are still friends with our mutual friends, etc. We don't talk or hang out but it's not like they have the plague lol. I hear about them sometimes in passing.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Anyone here look up their exes to see what they are up to and to see how their life turned out? Not to contact them, but just to look? By googling?
> 
> Me, I can't stand my ex h. I hope to never come across him ever again. He was abusive and unfaithful. I actually hate him and there are only 2 people whom I hate. He is one and my old next door neighbor is the other.


You know, I've only had one girlfriend even before my wife, and we were never in the situation where I would now feel that I need to call her "ex." In fact, I never had sex with her - my wife is my only sex partner. I broke up with that girlfriend when she became pregnant - I'll leave it to your imagination how that happened since I stated I had never had sex with her ... 

I know the name of the daughter that was born to that girlfriend after we broke up, so a while back, I ran across the name when viewing news in our old hometown. I wasn't looking for it, but my curiosity was piqued when I saw the name. I checked on the public information on that name, and saw her mother is my first girlfriend. She's never moved out of the same town ... don't know any details other than that, and really don't have any curiosity about her past what I found. I guess I looked her up, but only when I saw the daughter's name and wondered if it was the same person. So I guess I have to say I looked her up with no intent to contact her ... but what you read is the extent of it.

I've had over 27 years married to my wife. Sure, we've had a rough spot or two, but overall, they are the best years of my life. When I think of all the best memories in my life, the things the I think define me, the memories I want to look back on when I'm old, all of those are with my wife. My life has been SO MUCH BETTER with her than what it would have been with that first girlfriend. My wife has partnered with me to push me to higher heights than I could have achieved by myself. She has stood by me and embraced me during my tragedies. I've held her during her tragedies. We heard our children's first cries together. We've celebrated together, cried together, fought together, argued together and made up, stood together ... I just can't imagine anything else. I have no desire for that old girlfriend, and other than what happened when I ran across her daughter's name in a hometown anouncement, I have no real curiosity about her. I don't really have anything in common with her culturally anymore.

Not trying to potificate, I'm just saying, I looked her up one time in a special circumstance, but I have no desire or feelings for her, and no real ongoing curiosity. I have something better.


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

I have a couple of ex's on facebook as friends. My wife knows of them and we sometimes interact, comments, chat etc. As does my wife, there is no problem with being in contact with an ex, they are an ex for a reason, they were/are not what you wanted or need full time. They are past flings, does not mean they are bad people, just not right for me!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I google my ex's and look to see if they are on facebook. It's just curiousity. I have desire to contact anyone. There is a reason why they are ex's


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

I have thought in the past how they are doing, even what old friends are up to. But I don't do facebook. And I would never actually look an ex up because it's letting information back into your life when the past is your past. We all moved on for a reason. I just focus on the wonderful man I have now.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I once thought about reconnecting with my bf from high school. So that would from an era of more than 30 years ago. I could find where he was working, some awards that he won from work; his family tree. I couldn't anything that indicated whether he was married; had ever been married or had children.

Then I did risk assessment. What if after my contact he rejected me? Or if he wanted a relationship and I rejected him? When I didn't like the answers to both of those questions, I gave up on the idea.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

I sort of lost contact with most people from my past after I graduated. I hear stories here and there but I don't know how most of them look like 10 years on.


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## CrazyGuy (Dec 30, 2011)

I have looked up ex-girlfriends but wished I did not. Curiosity got the best of me and I am here, so face the facts my marriage was sucking for a long time. The one I have fond memories of died early at the age of 25. All the others are actually now married to millionaires... no kidding. But they say money does not always buy you happiness. For those ex-girlfriends that is probably true. And wow how to ruin my memory too. They were so hot but aged so badly.


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