# breastfeeding



## RECHTSANWALT (Oct 5, 2011)

Dear All
We have a boy aged 7 and a girl aged 6 months. The girl is being breastfed by my wife. I do not spend much time at home to help my son with his homework (because of work hours), so my wife does this and has to take care of the baby.

The thing is she breastfeeds the baby in full view of my son. 

Should I be worried about this? How are other women / families coping with this?

Many thanks!


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

why would you be worried? The breast isn't being sexualized at all by your wife and I highly doubt your son even thinks of it beyond his sister's food supply.


----------



## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Sorry to be crass but what's the worst thing that's going to happen here...your son will grow up to view breasts as a food source rather than a sexual object? I think you might get widely differing opinions on this but I view it as something completely natural and not offensive at all. It is common for my kids to see women at the playground or mall or wherever breastfeeding and ask me about it...I explain to them plainly about it. No need to make a big deal out of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

No, you should not be worried. It's not a bad thing for a child to know/see that breasts have a biological function.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RECHTSANWALT (Oct 5, 2011)

well, I saw a recent article on Time (which showed a woman suckling her son) that polarised women. Apologies if this is against the rules and sounds explicit/crass, but it is not the breast that is in view but the nipples as well. Isn't this "wrong"? I am bit nervous about this.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

RECHTSANWALT said:


> well, I saw a recent article on Time (which showed a woman suckling her son) that polarised women. I am bit nervous about this.


it was polarizing because the child was 5-6 years old who was getting fed not observing it


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

RECHTSANWALT said:


> well, I saw a recent article on Time (which showed a woman suckling her son) that polarised women. Apologies if this is against the rules and sounds explicit/crass, but it is not the breast that is in view but the nipples as well. Isn't this "wrong"? I am bit nervous about this.


If she's breast feeding, the nipple won't be on view because it is in the infant's mouth.

I don't believe there is anything wrong in a mother breastfeeding in front of her 7 year old son. That's what breasts are for, so I wouldn't worry about it.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It will only be a big deal if you make it be one. I nursed all 3 of my kids in full view of each other. They are older now and get that milk comes from boobs. At this point they still have no idea boobs are sexual. LOL They are 12, 9 and 6.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I really doubt it's going to cause any issues at all.
Trust in nature, women are designed biologically to have a series of births during which time the children who are born first are witness to the rearing of the remainder. 
If I recall, humans come out of the womb without clothing.
So according to this reasoning (applies to all of humanity), rather than your own social conditioning (applies to one person), the propensity of evidence points to "harmless" at worst, and pro-social at best. The breasts are designed to be sexual organs so that breast feeding will be a nice experience for the woman, rather than painful, and they do need to be connected to the sexual organs because breastfeeding releases chemicals that contract the uterus after birth. 
Next, people will wonder if their little girls can be turned into lesbians by looking in the mirror, or watching their moms breastfeeding, or breastfeeding their daughters when they are mature and give birth. The answer to all of this is no. You are way overthinking the situation, humans are just not that complicated, until someone starts talking and thinking too much.


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I wouldn't worry about this at all. It's just the way it has to be, and nature intended for it to be this way anyway. 

Plus, it would be very uncomfortable for your wife and for your baby daughter if she was having to hide breastfeeding. It would become stressful for the both of them.

Don't worry about it and allow your wife and daughter to enjoy the time they have together while they have it. It's a good thing.


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> it was polarizing because the child was 5-6 years old who was getting fed not observing it


Wow!!









_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

No need to worry. It has been going on for thousands of years. Most women usually wear nursing blouses/nightgowns and/or nursing bras. In this case, very little can be seen.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

All three of my kids were breastfed. My oldest is now 11 (boy) and he watched me feed his sister (5) and brother (4) until they were each 1 1/2 -2 years old respectively. So, he was in full view of his mother breastfeeding from the time he was 5 years old, until two years ago, age 9. And, he saw me do it at home, at the store, at church...everywhere. There is nothing wrong with a child seeing the breast as a food source, not just a sexual plaything. And, with my....uhhh... ample breasts , He likely got quite an eyeful, especially at home! LOL But guess what? It didn't even affect him poorly. He doesn't fixate on a woman's breasts. I never covered up the baby's head, nor the breast when feeding. He saw it all... breast, areola, nipple.

That clear things up for you?


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I doubt your son will be messed up because he viewed his mothers breast doing it's job, nurturing his baby sister.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wiigirl said:


> Wow!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


whoops I see now it's a 3 year old


I'll just link to the pic instead of posting the pic here in case someone gets offended-

http://blogs-images.forbes.com/forbeswomanfiles/files/2012/05/time-cover-breastfeeding.jpg

DO NOT click if you don't want to see a 3 year old get breastfed


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

It's very much an individualistic thing. Breastfeeding is not only a food source, but also creates a bond between mother and baby (and onward..), which can be a difficult thing to stop for some women. Including the woman in that magazine.


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

There is nothing wrong with a child seeing their sibling being breast fed. Breasts, by nature, are meant to feed babies, which is better than him only viewing breasts as sexual in nature. Also, when a woman breast feeds, the chemical oxytocin is released in the woman's brain, which is the "bonding hormone", which is what somethingelse is talking about. It helps the mother with breast feeding when the baby might be teething or when breast feeding is painful, so that she feels she can keep going.


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I nursed my daughter until she was 3. She was my last baby and I did what I thought best for her. And I won't ever feel bad about nursing her for so long. For the most part, she's a normal 6 year old girl. Well, she's MY offspring, so she might not be completely normal, but she's healthy and sound of mind so far


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think the controversy stemmed more with the picture being on a cover than the age of the child


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I think the controversy stemmed more with the picture being on a cover than the age of the child


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I personally see nothing wrong with ANYONE seeing someone else's breasts. ESPECIALLY breastfeeding breasts. I think it's totally ridiculous that men's nipples are fine but women's breasts are considered 'dirty', ESPECIALLY the nipples. Talk about a double standard!!!!!!

PLEASE don't teach your son that women should be ashamed of their breasts and have to hide them.


----------



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I see it as being a positive experience for your son. It's when kids see the adults are running around freaking out that they grow up to be uptight about things.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Think of it this way... every other mammal out there breastfeeds their offspring in plain site... why? Its natural.. its the way nature intended things to be. Your son will no doubt grow up, find a womann of his own and have kids with her... and no doubt witness her breastfeed as well. Its how the offspring survive at that age. If your going to freak out about that then make sure he never witness a pup nursing from its mother... or a calf from a cow. Seriously... humans are the only ones who seem to twist something completely natural into something evil... geeze.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I was asked one time to go feed my daughter in the bathroom. Really? Well, why don't YOU take your Big Mac and go eat it in the bathroom, you stupid, old, fat, bald man. You think I want to watch you oink your food down? Oh I was soooo angry. I think I would of hit him if my ex husband hadn't of told him to mind his own damn business and stop trying to peek at his wife's tit. And my breast was always well hidden, I wasn't flashing people.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Fricken pervy old man!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> I was asked one time to go feed my daughter in the bathroom. Really? Well, why don't YOU take your Big Mac and go eat it in the bathroom, you stupid, old, fat, bald man. You think I want to watch you oink your food down? Oh I was soooo angry. I think I would of hit him if my ex husband hadn't of told him to mind his own damn business and stop trying to peek at his wife's tit. And my breast was always well hidden, I wasn't flashing people.


I love this!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I had an older woman direct me to the bathroom when my oldest was hungry in Walmart. I was a new mom and didn't know any better. That was the first, last, and ONLY time I EVER fed my baby in a public restroom. If anyone wanted to complain, I would have gone off after that incident. When out in public, I would show MINIMAL breast. At home, I did it the way I was most comfortable. And, if people came visiting and didn't like it, they could leave. MY house, not theirs!


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> I had an older woman direct me to the bathroom when my oldest was hungry in Walmart. I was a new mom and didn't know any better. That was the first, last, and ONLY time I EVER fed my baby in a public restroom. If anyone wanted to complain, I would have gone off after that incident. When out in public, I would show MINIMAL breast. At home, I did it the way I was most comfortable. And, if people came visiting and didn't like it, they could leave. MY house, not theirs!


We Americans get so bent out of shape over nudity (especially breasts). I think the top most annoying breastfeeding incident ever was the day I got out of the hospital, we went to Denny's for dinner and my ex brother in law and his family was there. Well I started to nurse my daughter and Big Mouth BIL said "Hey, can I have some too?" I was incredibly embarrassed cause ALL of the kids heard him say that (his 3 and my stepkids and my oldest son, and my twins who were only 15 months old, so they didn't understand) his wife and my stepsons girlfriend. I wanted to die. Thankfully my ex would stand up for me. I had a lot of issues with him, but he wouldn't let people bad mouth me or embarrass me.


----------



## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

Don't worry about your son watching his baby sister eating lunch......That is Gods/Natures plan...... WORRY about his internet access and watching porn, now or in the very near future. Porn access will twist a young persons mind.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

What is the problem? It's normal. Your son seeing your wife breastfeed is no big deal. IT'S NOT SEXUAL.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> It will only be a big deal if you make it be one. I nursed all 3 of my kids in full view of each other. They are older now and get that milk comes from boobs. At this point they still have no idea boobs are sexual. LOL They are 12, 9 and 6.


I have 3 boys age 9, 12 and 15. Do your kids go to public school? I assure you, your 12 year old knows. Probably the 9 year old too.

lol just sayin.


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Agreed with all.

Heck, I even breastfed in front of my mom and sis. Drew the line in front of anyone else, (except hubby).

I will repeat what's already been said: there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Your son doesn't see his mother's breasts like YOU see your wife's breasts. This is actually good for him to witness for so many reasons. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I have 3 boys age 9, 12 and 15. Do your kids go to public school? I assure you, your 12 year old knows. Probably the 9 year old too.
> 
> lol just sayin.


True.

My just turned 12 year old has a good case of Peter Pan syndrome. He may be aware but he presently has his fingers in his ears when the word S E X is mentioned. He covers his eyes when people kiss on tv and visibly cringes if I say the word "puberty". A required reading book for the summer had boyfriend/girlfriend issues in it. He was totally disgusted. He cracks me up. LOL

My girls on the other hand know about boyfriends, kissing and what it means to be gay.  Cleavage has not yet been discussed in a sexual manner...well at least not in my presence. LOL


----------



## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

Some amusement parks even have places for breastfeeding moms to go with rocking chairs. My first child I nursed for 7 months. My second I nursed for 13 months. It's making a come back. Nobody can provide food like mother nature. It's perfectly normal for him to see. Make sure you make it a normal activity and don't make a big deal out of it. Everyone walks around half naked in my house except for me. I'm the only female it's not fair. We never made our children ashamed of their bodies. They do cover up when someone else is around.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Now, what's your wife going to do when/if the older one asks for a taste?

My older two did. They were both 2 years old. So I gave them a taste. They screwed up their face and spit the milk out and said YECH!!!!!! And they never asked again. If I'd refused, it would have turned into a whining fest.


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Now, what's your wife going to do when/if the older one asks for a taste?
> 
> My older two did. They were both 2 years old. So I gave them a taste. They screwed up their face and spit the milk out and said YECH!!!!!! And they never asked again. If I'd refused, it would have turned into a whining fest.


Hahaha!!!! Mine never asked, but I imagine if there was a breast or a bottle filled with formula and my kids had a tast of each, they'd definately take the breastmilk over the formula. To this day, I can still remember how vile the formula smelled. My daughter tried it once and the look on her face (she was about 4 months old) made me think of the look she'd get from eating a turd or something equally as appalling.


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I agree on how sick formula smells.. Breastfeeding is the best hands down. Nothing beats it!


----------



## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

I think i have breast fed nearly every where, including a packed beach and 29,000 ft  

There is nothing wrong with being seen to breast feed it is the most natural thing and if others feel uncomfortable then they have the issues.


----------



## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I think the thing you risk doing if you make a big deal about it, and start instilling in a seven year old that breasts are "wrong" and shouldn't be always hidden, is that he'll internalize that in some way. Why not have an honest conversation with him if he brings it up about how this is how mothers feed their young babies? Why make it weird and unnatural sounding or taboo?

My concern would be it would shape his own future views on breastfeeding, thus potentially discouraging his own future partner from engaging in it because it's embarrassing/wrong/sexual. We really need to break this cycle, maybe it will end our cycle of producing allergy-ridden, obese children. 

When you see cleavage in public do you start screaming and demanding that women cover up to save your son's eyes? Why do only breasts serving their natural function create this issue?


----------



## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

The only thing that is wrong and is going to mess with your son's head is your unhealthy attitude towards the female body. There is nothing more natural in the world then a mother breastfeeding her child. 

Shame on you for turning it into something negative to be judged, sexualised, disgusting and needed to be hidden away. You should be proud that your wife is able to provide the best possible nutrition to your baby and you should teach that to your son instead of your own ignorant views on the matter.


----------



## tiredandout (Jun 1, 2011)

Agree with all the previous posters. There is absolutely nothing strange or sexual about this. Making it such will only serve to build insecurities and twisted views about the body's natural functions both in your son and your wife.

Where I come from, it is socially accepted for women to breastfeed their babies practically anywhere and everwhere (it is possible to do so in public in bright daylight without giving bystanders a full frontal you know). Personally I don't think every adult man (and woman for that matter) should be able to behave themselves when someone is brestfeeding in their presence. So don't turn it into something weird for your son and your wife.

We have already estranged from nature in so many ways. I think it is crucial to teach your child that the human body and all it's bodily functions are perfectly natural, normal and beautiful as they are.


----------



## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

Anomnom said:


> The only thing that is wrong and is going to mess with your son's head is your unhealthy attitude towards the female body. There is nothing more natural in the world then a mother breastfeeding her child.
> 
> Shame on you for turning it into something negative to be judged, sexualised, disgusting and needed to be hidden away. You should be proud that your wife is able to provide the best possible nutrition to your baby and you should teach that to your son instead of your own ignorant views on the matter.



No need to berate the OP. He was just asking a question. You do not know what his beliefs are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No worries at all. I breast fed in public, but I draped a blanket over me. This is very normal and natural. The baby gets the best nutrition from the mothers breast milk. Feeding in front of siblings is totally normal.


----------



## RECHTSANWALT (Oct 5, 2011)

All
Many thanks for your enthusiastic answers.


----------



## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

I am going to teach my son that it is not impolite to be naked but it is impolite to notice when someone else is.


----------



## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

this is so very much not a big deal, I wouldn't waste even one microsecond thinking about it. 

many moms breastfeed and continue to do so up to toddlerhood. I did. it was no big deal. I am supportive of all moms and their breastfeeding. I do not consider myself weird or a breastfeeding nazi. 

it's just natural. and I don't waste time on thinking about things that are natural.


----------



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

No. 
Why would you be worried.
It is very natural.
It will teach him that his baby sister is being fed 
the best of all.
What does your son say about it?

I believe when he gets older it wont teach him to sexualize the breast so much but instead teach him for what the breast are really suppoed to be used for!!!


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

This is such a NORTH American thing.... 

I am Canadian but my mother's side of the family hail from Finland and Sweden. At our family reunion, I remember being appalled when my from-out-of-the-country relatives got naked at the beach to go swimming lol (thank goodness it was a private beach). I was thirteen at the time and found it very embarrassing then but know now that it's a cultural thing. Nudity isn't sexualized and turned into something perverse and to be ashamed of there like it is here... 

Here we have outrage over something as natural as feeding a child. I think it's sad really. I am pretty conservative with public nudity but I do sometimes think about how liberating it would feel not to have to be.

I'm having a baby in three weeks. My son (aged 8) was breastfed for the first year but I do admit to feeling worried about having to breastfeed in front of him now when his brother arrives. I'm going to get over it and hope that if I don't act awkward about it, he won't either. It really isn't a sexual act and I think it's healthy for kids to learn that breasts have a function that have nothing to do with sex but with feeding/bonding with babies.

We've already discussed that this baby will be breastfed and he likely will see it happen. (I have no plans of covering up in my own house). I hope in doing so, he will also have a positive attitude about/be supportive of his future wife if she decides to breastfeed any children he may have.

I also think it's better that he learn about breasts for their function in a healthy way, at home before he learns about their aesthetics/sex appeal from the media or friends.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> This is such a NORTH American thing....
> 
> I am Canadian but my mother's side of the family hail from Finland and Sweden. At our family reunion, I remember being appalled when my from-out-of-the-country relatives got naked at the beach to go swimming lol (thank goodness it was a private beach). I was thirteen at the time and found it very embarrassing then but know now that it's a cultural thing. Nudity isn't sexualized and turned into something perverse and to be ashamed of there like it is here...
> 
> ...


Here's what you do:
If your son appears curious about it, explain what you're doing. If he wants to taste the milk, let him... not straight from the breast lol. But express a little into a cup for him to taste. Just reassure him that it is perfectly natural...and tell him that he used to eat that way as well. I have to say... my oldest was intrigued when I tried pumping. I never was able to pump very well, but the babies got what they needed each and every time lol. Anyway, just make sure your son knows it's natural...and it's what they were made for.


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> I was asked one time to go feed my daughter in the bathroom. Really? Well, why don't YOU take your Big Mac and go eat it in the bathroom, you stupid, old, fat, bald man. You think I want to watch you oink your food down? Oh I was soooo angry. I think I would of hit him if my ex husband hadn't of told him to mind his own damn business and stop trying to peek at his wife's tit. And my breast was always well hidden, I wasn't flashing people.


Some folks are so uptight, it's ridiculous. Good for your ex. 

I am very pro-breastfeeding (especially as a pediatric nurse) and I really hope that our society becomes less rigid, more comfortable and more natural (less hyper sexualized) with the human body. To ask a mother to go and hide in a bathroom while she feeds her child is just so out there to me. It's not as if women are walking around shopping malls with their shirts and blouses off. Even if they were - so what? Children need to learn about nature, life and caring of babies so why not let them see mommy feeding their little sister/brother? I'd much rather them see that than some violent crime scene/murder mystery t.v. show that comes on during prime time.


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Miss Taken - it sounds like those early experiences were actually a good thing. Even as uncomfortable as it was at the time, it sounds like it opened you up a bit. Your attitude about breast feeding is positive and as long as you keep it that way - natural and calm - your son will see it that way too. Early congrats on your new baby!


----------



## Rosemary's Granddaughter (Aug 25, 2012)

It's nice to see so many people supporting breastfeeding!

All of my children have watched me breastfeed their younger siblings. My oldest is almost 9 years older than our second baby, and it did not affect him negatively at all~I think your 7-yr old will be more than okay!


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

At home amongst family it is fine. As long as the child is not too old. Seriously, some people keep it going waaay too long. Get past it, move on, and start feeding the child regular food. Out in public, thats different. I think a bottle should be used in public.


----------



## Danaerys (Aug 20, 2012)

Before I had children, breast feeding in public made me uncomfortable. But after having a baby of my own that totally changed! I BF'd my son in public whenever I was in public and he was hungry. Why in the world is it okay to see someone in a string bikini with a ton of cleavage but not someone bf'ing? 

Bottles are a PITA, it's so much easier to nurse.


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Danaerys said:


> Before I had children, breast feeding in public made me uncomfortable. But after having a baby of my own that totally changed! I BF'd my son in public whenever I was in public and he was hungry. Why in the world is it okay to see someone in a string bikini with a ton of cleavage but not someone bf'ing?
> 
> Bottles are a PITA, it's so much easier to nurse.


Yes, bottles may be a PITA, but they provide for the opportunity for the father and siblings to create bonds with the baby while feeding them, instead of just the mother.


----------



## Danaerys (Aug 20, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Yes, bottles may be a PITA, but they provide for the opportunity for the father and siblings to create bonds with the baby while feeding them, instead of just the mother.


There are plenty of other ways to bond with baby other than feeding. Babies who are BF still bond with dad (and siblings if that's the case). And if a family wants to give a bottle, as long as the baby is being fed, then great. But there is nothing wrong with feeding your infant in public, regardless of if your method is breast or bottle.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Yes, bottles may be a PITA, but they provide for the opportunity for the father and siblings to create bonds with the baby while feeding them, instead of just the mother.


And... what do you say to the women who can't express any milk? Hmmm? Oh, that's right, FORCE the baby to drink formula. Yea, tried that a few times with my kids. They wouldn't drink it. There is NOTHING, and I mean absolutely *NOTHING* wrong with breastfeeding in public. I covered up as best I could. But you know what? It isn't MY fault that some pervert got a cheap thrill out of seeing my child EAT! It isn't MY fault that someone is too prudish to acknowledge something that is perfectly NATURAL! There are plenty of ways for fathers and siblings to bond with the baby. Guess what? My husband is, and always HAS been, very close to our children. And he OBVIOUSLY didn't nurse our babies! It makes me sick when I hear of women being told to take their babies into the bathroom to eat or to STARVE them until they get home. Good greif! If my mother, who bottle fed us girls didn't have a problem with my being the only one who could feed them for those first few months, and if my dad wasn't embarrassed to see me feed them, as well as ALL my friends and family, including those who never had kids and were squeamish... if they ALL had no problem with it... then a prude can just look the other way if it bothers them! Good GOD!


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I agree that there's nothing at all wrong with breast feeding in public. I also think fathers get the short end of the bonding stick when it comes to feeding. I personally insisted on getting a share of the feeding time. No, not half. But a share of it. Don't like it? Tough sh!t.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I agree that there's nothing at all wrong with breast feeding in public. I also think fathers get the short end of the bonding stick when it comes to feeding. I personally insisted on getting a share of the feeding time. No, not half. But a share of it. Don't like it? Tough sh!t.


I guess I was lucky then that my husband put what was best for our kids before his feelings. It's not about what is fair or equal for the parents. Or it shouldn't be.


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Maricha75 said:


> And... what do you say to the women who can't express any milk? Hmmm? Oh, that's right, FORCE the baby to drink formula. Yea, tried that a few times with my kids. They wouldn't drink it. There is NOTHING, and I mean absolutely *NOTHING* wrong with breastfeeding in public. I covered up as best I could. But you know what? It isn't MY fault that some pervert got a cheap thrill out of seeing my child EAT! It isn't MY fault that someone is too prudish to acknowledge something that is perfectly NATURAL! There are plenty of ways for fathers and siblings to bond with the baby. Guess what? My husband is, and always HAS been, very close to our children. And he OBVIOUSLY didn't nurse our babies! It makes me sick when I hear of women being told to take their babies into the bathroom to eat or to STARVE them until they get home. Good greif! If my mother, who bottle fed us girls didn't have a problem with my being the only one who could feed them for those first few months, and if my dad wasn't embarrassed to see me feed them, as well as ALL my friends and family, including those who never had kids and were squeamish... if they ALL had no problem with it... then a prude can just look the other way if it bothers them! Good GOD!


We are sharing opinions here, do you have to get so defensive. I am giving my side based on my experience. I don't feel it has anything to do with being prudish. I think it is out of practicality. I fed my younger sibling while growing up (I'm the oldest). My mother never breast fed while in public, always had a bottle along. That way anyone could do the feeding it wasn't just for her to do. Feeding, changing diapers, taking naps with, playing, you know name it, I did it as the older sibling. I formed a great bond. 
Do I think it should be completely covered up in public, in most cases yes. But mostly it goes back to thinking that feeding a baby should not just be a moms job.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Probably true. Doesn't change my mind though and I would insist I take part in every aspect of raising my sons again every time. I won't be excluded. 

It's easy for you to judge. Your the one with the breasts after all. There's nothing exclusively for the father, but plenty exclusively for the mother. And I reject any assertion that pumped breast milk is not as good for the baby.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

gbrad said:


> We are sharing opinions here, do you have to get so defensive. I am giving my side based on my experience. I don't feel it has anything to do with being prudish. I think it is out of practicality. I fed my younger sibling while growing up (I'm the oldest). My mother never breast fed while in public, always had a bottle along. That way anyone could do the feeding it wasn't just for her to do. Feeding, changing diapers, taking naps with, playing, you know name it, I did it as the older sibling. I formed a great bond.
> Do I think it should be completely covered up in public, in most cases yes. But mostly it goes back to thinking that feeding a baby should not just be a moms job.


I get defensive when it appears that someone is telling a mother that she has to feed her child a certain way. As I stated, I was unable to express milk. I tried, but never got more than one ounce when I did it. It didn't matter if I tried for 10 minutes or 60. I still never expressed enough. We tried to give them formula, both premixed and powder. They wouldn't take it. My husband got to do most of the feedings once they were on solid foods, at 4 months (cereal). My oldest is 7 years older than his brother, 5 years older than his sister. My oldest... there was no way I would let him feed, not even baby food and cereal. He couldn't comprehend how to do it correctly (trust me, I know/knew my son). He played with them. He helped in baths. He cuddled them. My husband fed them when they didn't need to nurse. He was always doing fun things with them, ALWAYS. He and I both changed them. He and I both would bathe them. As I said, there are plenty of ways for the father and siblings to bond without forcing a baby to take a bottle. Fortunately, my husband completely understood that and supported the choice for exclusive breast feeding.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Probably true. Doesn't change my mind though and I would insist I take part in every aspect of raising my sons again every time. I won't be excluded.
> 
> It's easy for you to judge. Your the one with the breasts after all. There's nothing exclusively for the father, but plenty exclusively for the mother. *And I reject any assertion that pumped breast milk is not as good for the baby.*


Pumped breast milk IS just as good for the baby... Unfortunately, I was one of those mothers who was unable to do it. And formula was not an option. We refused to force them to drink it. And that's what it would have been, forcing, had we continued to try to get them to take it. When they rejected it, my husband said no problem. And no, he didn't look hurt. He wasn't hurt.

But, WOM, what would you have done had your wife been unable to pump, but was able to feed them, with no issue, exclusively from the breast?


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I would have been ok with it. I only ask for an honest effort to include me in everything. Lucky for us the issue didn't come up.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I would have been ok with it. I only ask for an honest effort to include me in everything. Lucky for us the issue didn't come up.


Fair enough. But at least you didn't make her stay in hiding when she was nursing. I have to admit... I had more problems with my kids when I tried putting a blanket over them. Seriously, they were more apt to pull the blanket off and push up on the shirt that way! LOL... Besides, even with bottle feeding, part of that bonding experience is being able to make eye contact with the baby while he/she is eating. You absolutely cannot do that if their heads are covered up. Just sayin' ... Plus, my kids tended to sweat a lot. =/


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Lmao... wow... there seems to be some jealous dads here? Ok I personally don't care if people breastfeed in public... honestly... they do have clothes and cover up blankets for that. As far as bonding time with daddy... well if your wife is breastfeeding at home... you could reach out to stroke the babies cheek ya know... talk to the baby.... make funny faces... ect. You don't have to wait until you bottle feed to bond.... just saying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Gaia said:


> As far as bonding time with daddy... well if your wife is breastfeeding at home... you could reach out to stroke the babies cheek ya know... talk to the baby.... make funny faces... ect. You don't have to wait until you bottle feed to bond.... just saying.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



And burp the baby, rock the baby, change the baby, play with, cuddle and kiss the baby, bring the baby to mom when he/she needs to be fed, put baby back to sleep after night feedings, wear the baby in a carrier, give the baby its bath, nap with the baby on his chest, spoon-feed the baby when starting on solids.... outside of feeding directly from the breast the only thing a man can't do is give birth. There are plenty of other things that can be done to encourage daddy-child bonding. If you're doing all of those things, I don't really understand why you'd feel excluded in parenting. :scratchhead:

Not to mention, bottle/nipple confusion is also an issue for many breastfed babies, including my son. With him, switching even for short periods from bottle to breast left him frustrated and gassy and us tired and miserable to be dealing with a fussy and cranky baby despite trying several different bottles/nipples. Just because doing both works for some babies, doesn't mean it will work for all. We would have done both (and boy were there times where I could have used the break!) had our son been more adaptable/agreeable to the idea.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Lol oh yeah.... breaks definately needed! Hell I would love for my man to just take the baby and bottle feed her sometimes... but with his work hours... nope!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Probably true. Doesn't change my mind though and I would insist I take part in every aspect of raising my sons again every time. I won't be excluded.
> 
> It's easy for you to judge. Your the one with the breasts after all. There's nothing exclusively for the father, but plenty exclusively for the mother. And I reject any assertion that pumped breast milk is not as good for the baby.


You can reject it all you like, doesn't change the facts. Expressed milk begins to lose vitamins and other elements the moment it leaves the breast. It loses more if it is frozen, and more during the reheating process. 

Breastmilk changes during the course of a feed, it's more watery at the beginning and creamier at the end. It also changes during the course of the day, so that the richest, creamiest milk is late at night. Milk at night contains a sleep- inducing hormone that is not present during the day.

If a baby is being exclusively or primarily fed expressed milk from a bottle the hormone feedback between mother and baby is disrupted and the mother is less able to produce antibodies to illnesses the baby has been exposed to which would otherwise be passed through the milk. 

Babies regulate their intake from the breast . They don't from a bottle in the same way as they don't have to work so hard. The muscles developed from breastfeeding, particularly into toddlerhood, support speech development. 

And really, it's four to six months that babies are fed milk only. You can't suck it up (pun intended) for that short amount of time for the good of your child? That's pretty insecure.


----------



## Rosemary's Granddaughter (Aug 25, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Probably true. Doesn't change my mind though and I would insist I take part in every aspect of raising my sons again every time. I won't be excluded.
> 
> It's easy for you to judge. Your the one with the breasts after all. There's nothing exclusively for the father, but plenty exclusively for the mother. And I reject any assertion that pumped breast milk is not as good for the baby.


Your wife exclusively gave birth to the baby--were you jealous of that aspect, too? 

"I won't be excluded"?! What an attitude.


----------



## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I agree that there's nothing at all wrong with breast feeding in public. I also think fathers get the short end of the bonding stick when it comes to feeding. I personally insisted on getting a share of the feeding time. No, not half. But a share of it. Don't like it? Tough sh!t.


That is a totally ridiculous attitude no wonder your user name is *WorkingOnMe* i take it is still a serious work in progress.

Now i breast fed my new born's every hour, well on demand really no more than 2 hours ever went past before they needed feeding again, i co slept with all my babies so the breast was always available, it would be impossible to give you what you asked and unfair on the baby, babies need to learn to latch to the breast not a bottle, you could actually hinder your baby by doing so.

There are so many other ways to bond, feeding is only one aspect, cuddling, comforting, bathing and changing nappies, why be so focused on feeding, you sound like if you don't feed your children they wont love you, a bit like a parent that comforts an older child with only food. 

I think personally if you feel that strongly you should take hormones to lactate, now us ladies know how much breast feeding actually hurts the first couple of weeks, but be our guest and knock yourself out with it


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Men can lactate. It's all there, for anyone who wants to put the work in.


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

There is no reason to jump on WOM. If you read his reply to my question, he said he absolutely would have been fine had his wife been unable to pump. The fact is, she WAS able... it was the decision they made TOGETHER. Had he badgered her into it, that would be different. But in no way did he imply that was the case.

My real issue is with those who think a woman needs to hide herself when she is feeding her child. It is complete and utter bullsh!t. I would never tell someone to cover his or her head when eating a cheeseburger (and trust me, I have seen my fair share of disgusting eaters)...so don't tell me to cover my baby's head when he or she is eating. I did it ONCE with my oldest... after that, I made sure there was no breast showing around their little heads.


----------



## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I breastfed both my kids for a year. It was really hard and I have scars on my nipples from breastfeeding. I could scrub pots now with them, but glad I did it. I also could not express milk, but since I have horrible allergies, I wanted to do everything I could to help my kids. my eldest did not like to be covered up since he wanted to look around at everything while nursing. The only time I experienced disapproval for nursing in public was when I was in the UK for a holiday. He was 9 months at the time. Neither kid would take a bottle even with the little amount of milk I could express. I was a SAHM at the time, so it worked for me. My H was not jealous, but very encouraging since we both viewed it as a health related issue for the kids.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

In Ireland it's illegal to breastfeed a baby over six months in public. I don't see how you'd really enforce that though - "how old is that baby?" "7 months" "okay, you're under arrest then". 
I've breastfed both my girls in public often. I've never had anyone say or do anything negative and I don't use covers, they hated them and would pull them off immediately. Anyway, those covers just draw attention to what you're doing, may as well have a big neon sign.


----------

