# Help - Again - And Again



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

My wife told me, that she enjoyed sensual talk, as much, if not more than our love making. Back story...

Been having problems with s-x frequency in our marriage. She finally, after years tells me that she's not really into s-x. I mean, it was good to hear, because up till then, i just blamed her disinterest in me physically. I'm 39, she's 36, 3 kids, she's a SAHM. 

Right now, we make love about once a week. She's fine with this, and it would probably go longer, if i didn't initiate. When you add in her monthly friend, we go about 3x a month. I would like to do more, probably could do more if i pushed for so. But know, that at times i pushed for more, i could boring, uninspiring chore-sex. I started a thread here once, hoping, that she'd hit her peak soon, as the late 30's / early 40's comes around.

Back to the reason i'm here. I now know how important Love Language is... but how do i go about this, without it sounding so rehearsed? Am I going to have to say what i say, pressing record first, and just hitting play, every time i need to make love to my wife. 

Any advice, will be beneficial, probably won't be able to respond till tomorrow.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

why don't you flirt in texts for starters?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Sensual talk... That means she wants the seduction.

Sexy flirty text messages through out the day.
Naughty notes in her underwear drawer, in her purse, on her car windshield, under her seat in the car then send her a text to check under her seat.
Whisper in her ear about her soft skin, about her luscious curves, about her tantalizing peaks.
Bury your nose in her hair line at her neck and take a long slow inhale through your nose, then tell her she smells yummy.
Undress her on a regular basis and as he progressively becomes exposed, you start to whisper how sexy, soft, beautiful, lovely, etc she is.

Is this what you were asking cause I could go on and on but if I'm on the wrong track...?


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I think your wife has told you she wants to be seduced, romanced, etc... read some romance novels and see what women like to hear. 
I can tell you it would be wonderful if my husband pointed out something new I was wearing and said I would love it if you only wore that to bed tonight. Do you tell her what parts of her body you like? What you would like to do to them? Verbalize it first to her, you'll probably have a totally different response then you are getting now.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> why don't you flirt in texts for starters?


After reading what Anon just wrote...i think you guys are right.
Thanks.



Anon Pink said:


> Sensual talk... That means she wants the seduction.
> 
> Sexy flirty text messages through out the day.
> Naughty notes in her underwear drawer, in her purse, on her car windshield, under her seat in the car then send her a text to check under her seat.
> ...


This is exactly what i was asking about, and it what i thought it was, but because i'm an old dumb male, i really did need help from you guys to confirm it, thus that is why i'm here.

The fellas board would be like, "Man Up! ... and take your woman to the bed... caveman style.
Thanks



livelaughlovenow said:


> I think your wife has told you she wants to be seduced, romanced, etc... read some romance novels and see what women like to hear.
> I can tell you it would be wonderful if my husband pointed out something new I was wearing and said I would love it if you only wore that to bed tonight. Do you tell her what parts of her body you like? What you would like to do to them? Verbalize it first to her, you'll probably have a totally different response then you are getting now.


I have told her what parts i like, she knows what parts i like, but i need to do a better job, romancing her. THis is know, i have failed a bit more. Its just that, i've found out about this stuff... so late in the game. This would of helped... say like 7-8 years ago.
Thanks


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Pfffft..."Man up..." stuff is bunk in a situation like this. You got good suggestions by the others.

Sometimes it really is just as "easy" as remembering why you fell in love to begin with, and WHO you fell in love with. 

I'm 45 and Regret is 43. Before and then during her LTA, our sex lives were pretty cruddy. I flew private jets and was away a lot, but once every month or two was just so f'ng bad. We BOTH see it now. We BOTH know why now...even if she was only seeing the xOM every couple months it still obviously impacted us.

Since last year's Dday and our "newfound" communication, our sex life is thriving. We have FUN!! We explore our sexuality and aren't afraid of it. She found me again. She remembered it was ME who she loved. I've always loved her and complimented her - she just wasn't in a place to hear or appreciate me. She is now and that's the only reason we are able to keep moving forward.

Give her romance, but not because SHE wants it or anything. Do it because YOU want to and it will make all the difference.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

"what are you wearing?"


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> "what are you wearing?"


... and "what color are your panties"...


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Seems like dirty and sensual talk is foreplay to her. 

That's cool.

Don't go overboard with it, but if this is what turns her on, go for it. If you need any suggestions, I am sure the fine ladies of TAM will provide you some suggestions.

(And if they do, I want to know about it!)


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Rob774 said:


> I have told her what parts i like, she knows what parts i like, but i need to do a better job, romancing her. THis is know, i have failed a bit more. Its just that, i've found out about this stuff... so late in the game. This would of helped... say like 7-8 years ago.
> Thanks


Okay here is an area that Mr. Pink tends to over look too.

You've told her nice things, she knows what you like about her... You have to keep telling her, keep mentioning, keep saying it because each time you see....you are struck ANEW with her beauty! 
You like her smile, tell her when she smiles, "you dazzle me!"
You love her curves, tell her frequently," you are rocking those jeans!" 
You love her femininity and softness, tell her frequently, "you are such a feminine woman it just turns my knees to jelly!"

*Notice the formula? You mention an attribute and THEN mention what that specific attribute makes you feel, or think, or want to do. *Those are the kind of things a man forgets to do and they are so easy ..love you boobs honey, they make me feel like holding you all night long!


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