# What turns you off about man's personality?



## Begin again

There's an interesting thread in the Men's forum about the personality traits in women that are turn offs for men. So, I thought it would be good to have one going over here (and I didn't find one, so hope this isn't a dupe). 

Here are some things for me:

Conspiracy theorist - anyone who thinks the government, the media, or any other entity has some ulterior motive and negative agenda.

Thinks he can impress me with his stuff - he drives a porche, or a VP title, or owns a big house or goes on expensive vacations. Really? Good for you but you don't need to brag about it. 

Doesn't know what he thinks - he gives in to your choice of restaurant, or movie, or whatever. Have an opinion, please.

Thinks he's really smart/funny - I once went out with a guy who did stand up comedy as a hobby. One of THE MOST BORING dates I've ever been on. Can't imagine what his routine was like. And also dated a professor who just thought everyone was stupid and that he had to suffer through existence along side all the knuckle draggers of the world. 

Too serious - lighten up, already! Have a bit of fun!

Veiled racists - if you make comments about how black people talk, or Muslims dress, or how we have to endure ATMs that offer text in English and (heaven forbid!) Spanish, then I got nothing for ya!


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## Herschel

oh, realize it said "personality"


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## farsidejunky

I would answer this, but I'm too angry at the people conspiring to take away my sense of humor...

Wait, what was I thinking again?

(I'm not touching the racist one with a ten-foot pole, even in jest...)


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## Herschel

farsidejunky said:


> I would answer this, but I'm too angry at the people conspiring to take away my sense of humor...
> 
> Wait, what was I thinking again?
> 
> (I'm not touching the racist one with a ten-foot pole, even in jest...)


You mean 10-inch...


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## Lila

I'll play. ..

#1 biggest turnoff are men who are sexist and/or bigots.



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## MrsAldi

1. Abusive Behaviours 
2. Lack of Respect (people or animals) If you don't like cats, you're not for me! 
3. Arrogance
4. Narcissistic 
5. No sense of humour
6. Takes life too seriously
7. Lack of Physical Affection (I need it, it's my love oxygen!) 
8. Insecurity
9. Controlling
10. Inability to understand the opinion of others


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## Herschel

MrsAldi said:


> 1. Abusive Behaviours
> 2. Lack of Respect (people or animals) If you don't like cats, you're not for me!
> 3. Arrogance
> 4. Narcissistic
> 5. No sense of humour
> 6. Takes life too seriously
> 7. Lack of Physical Affection (I need it, it's my love oxygen!)
> 8. Insecurity
> 9. Controlling
> 10. Inability to understand the opinion of others
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


None of this makes sense to me.


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## MrsAldi

Herschel said:


> None of this makes sense to me.


How does it not make sense? 

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## Lila

MrsAldi said:


> How does it not make sense?
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Mrsaldi, he's messing with you. See your #10. 

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## MrsAldi

@Lila  how did I not get that! Maybe I should have more coffee! @Herschel good one! 

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## 3Xnocharm

MrsAldi said:


> 1. Abusive Behaviours
> 2. Lack of Respect (people or animals) If you don't like cats, you're not for me!
> 3. Arrogance
> 4. Narcissistic
> 5. No sense of humour
> 6. Takes life too seriously
> 7. Lack of Physical Affection (I need it, it's my love oxygen!)
> 8. Insecurity
> 9. Controlling
> 10. Inability to understand the opinion of others
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Our lists are almost identical! I will add:

11. Easily angered

I will never again tolerate another angry man!


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## heartbroken50

1. Self-centered... I need to feel like my needs matter to him.

2. Too serious. I love to laugh and be playful. Sense of humor is a must.

3. Not able to carry on meaningful conversation... I'm a deep thinker and love an intelligent man (not a know-it-all, but a thinker)

4. Lack of passion. Must be able to match my passion in creative ways. Also being threatened by my sexuality... I worked too hard to get over my shame and fear in that area to stifle that side of me ever again. 

5. Racist or sexist. Won't make it through one date.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## tropicalbeachiwish

Not in order, but here goes: 

1. Lack of sense of humor. I try to laugh at life as much as possible; it's a coping mechanism for me so I like to see others laugh as well. 
2. Arrogance especially thinking you're smarter than everyone else. 
3. Closed minded. 
4. Not liking animals.
5. Controlling. 
6. Lack of empathy.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

@MrsAldi Very good list you have there! 

This kind of reminds me of Build A Bear, except with men.


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## Faithful Wife

Men who mock women in subtle ways, and sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it because it is just so deeply ingrained in them that they don't recognize it themselves.

Example...when a man is re-telling a story about "what his wife said", and in re-telling it, when he is saying the words she said, he will use a b*tchy or whiny or otherwise horrible sounding tone. But when you ask "gee, did she really say it like THAT in that tone?" the answer is "no, I was just saying it that way for effect". I see this a lot. I think it is a bad habit a lot of men have. Don't put a spin on her tone when re-telling something she said, it is immature and shows he isn't truly listening to her, he just wants her to shut up.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Men who make mean remarks about people for no reason, just out of the blue. He or she is fat, stupid, ugly, or things like that, speaking about a total stranger and without provocation.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Racism is hard to define but I can't stand it. It can be shown in very subtle ways and sometimes isn't obvious, but when it is there, even a little bit, I cringe.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Men who think women are there for their own viewing pleasure and no other reason. Again, this is not always obvious, but eventually it will come out of them.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Men who support Trump.


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## Begin again

So, we are starting to get a consistent picture here so far. 

Turn offs:
Racist
Closed minded
Sexist
Insecure
Angry
Unkind to animals
Too serious/no sense of humor
Arrogance/know it all
Disrespectful to others

Great list. Actually, for me this list applies to any person in my life, not just the man I'm with!!


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## lifeistooshort

Men who think they know better than me what I think and want.

Men who are narrow minded. If you want to have a political discussion that's fine but do not quote talk radio to me. Please explain how you came to your conclusion; even if I disagree I will appreciate that you put a lot of thought into it. And please do not name call.....it makes you look ignorant.

Men who demand what they can't reciprocate.....ie a fat guy demanding a fit woman. 

Men who think they are entitled to sex with little investment in our partnership.

Easy to take offense. I have a limited filter.

Men who say mean and nasty things and then claim I'm too sensitive and they're just being honest. 

Men who feel the need to brag about their sexual past. It makes them look pathetic and insecure.

Men who want a mother to do for them instead of a partner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Independent

.


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## UMP

Since my penis is an indentured servant to my wife for life, I now equally dislike men and women for the same reasons.

There is something very liberating in that, I think.


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## 225985

Herschel said:


> You mean 10-inch...


I wish.....


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## 225985

spinsterdurga said:


> 1. Being controlling
> 2. Insecurities
> 3. Men who bad mouth their exes
> 4. Men who like to police other people's bodies --people who are overweight are disgusting etc...--- Why care when it doesn't affect your life?
> 4. Men who are threatened by independent women.
> 5. Men who think women are after a ring.
> 6. Men who have no imagination when it comes to sex
> 7. Men who can't cuddle naked without wanting sex
> 8. Being closed minded
> 9. Racist, sexist, homophobe, being mean and rude.
> 10. Fun suckers
> 11. Moody, always angry, likes to criticize
> 12. Wanting to know how much I spend on things
> 13. Saying beautiful women are dumb
> 14. Cursing at people when angry
> 15. Being unable to argue/debate like an adult
> 16. Yelling-- unless the person is deaf, there's no need to yell--
> 17. Think that women dress to please men or other women



Is 11 out of 17 a passing grade? :grin2:


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## Max.HeadRoom

spinsterdurga said:


> 1. Being controlling
> 2. Insecurities
> 3. Men who bad mouth their exes
> 4. Men who like to police other people's bodies --people who are overweight are disgusting etc...--- Why care when it doesn't affect your life?
> 4. Men who are threatened by independent women.
> 5. Men who think women are after a ring.
> 6. Men who have no imagination when it comes to sex
> 7. Men who can't cuddle naked without wanting sex
> 8. Being closed minded
> 9. Racist, sexist, homophobe, being mean and rude.
> 10. Fun suckers
> 11. Moody, always angry, likes to criticize
> 12. Wanting to know how much I spend on things
> 13. Saying beautiful women are dumb
> 14. Cursing at people when angry
> 15. Being unable to argue/debate like an adult
> 16. Yelling-- unless the person is deaf, there's no need to yell--
> 17. Think that women dress to please men or other women
> 
> My Tapatalk has been acting up, please excuse any mistakes!


Wow #7 is a tough!


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## Mr. Nail

Yep, When I hit #7 I kind of relaxed and stopped worrying because while we may inhabit the same planet we are obviously in different worlds.

But honestly I find the thread depressing, and I am certain that the women find the corresponding thread to be as depressing. I took a stab at listing things I was attracted to, but eventually got sucked into answering how I defined high maintenance. 

In the end, at this point of my life I like being with people, but whether I'm attracted, or attractive doesn't matter too much. 

I probably shouldn't add that I do have an opinion and know what I like, and that includes political stances, social issues, pets, and many other annoying things.


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## Begin again

Mr. Nail said:


> Yep, When I hit #7 I kind of relaxed and stopped worrying because while we may inhabit the same planet we are obviously in different worlds.
> 
> But honestly I find the thread depressing, and I am certain that the women find the corresponding thread to be as depressing. I took a stab at listing things I was attracted to, but eventually got sucked into answering how I defined high maintenance.
> 
> In the end, at this point of my life I like being with people, but whether I'm attracted, or attractive doesn't matter too much.
> 
> I probably shouldn't add that I do have an opinion and know what I like, and that includes political stances, social issues, pets, and many other annoying things.


Actually, I found the thread on the Men's forum rather encouraging. The only strike against me was from BetrayedDad, who said he's turned off by liberals. Other than that, I got an A! And I don't want a conservative, so all is well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail

Thanks that makes me feel better. honestly


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## browser

spinsterdurga said:


> 4. Men who like to police other people's bodies --people who are overweight are disgusting etc...--- Why care when it doesn't affect your life?


Obesity is a MASSIVE epidemic in today's society and yes pun intended.

Obesity accounts for economic losses in the billions due to missed work days, healthcare cost additional expenses that we all share through increased premiums, disability costs that we all pay for in taxes, and let's face it if you ever got stuck next to an obese person on a long airplane flight you would NEVER have included that in your post.


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## WorkingOnMe

spinsterdurga said:


> 7. Men who can't cuddle naked without wanting sex


Tease.

Actually I'm fine with doing that, but to know it's being done on purpose seems like some kind of cruel test.


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## Begin again

browser said:


> Obesity is a MASSIVE epidemic in today's society and yes pun intended.
> 
> Obesity accounts for economic losses in the billions due to missed work days, healthcare cost additional expenses that we all share through increased premiums, disability costs that we all pay for in taxes, and let's face it if you ever got stuck next to an obese person on a long airplane flight you would NEVER have included that in your post.


We are talking about turn offs. You can feel strongly about the obesity epidemic in America. I do! But I would not negatively critique a stranger or someone I know behind their back about how disgusting their body is. Two different things.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Begin again

Mr. Nail said:


> Thanks that makes me feel better. honestly


The only depressing thing, to me, is how many women listed racist/sexist/closed minded/angry/arrogant. If many women say the same, they have met or know enough men like this to say they don't want a man like this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Independent

.


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## 225985

Begin again said:


> The only depressing thing, to me, is how many women listed racist/sexist/closed minded/angry/arrogant. If many women say the same, they have met or know enough men like this to say they don't want a man like this.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe the women are just copying what the other posters wrote. Or they SAY this because it sounds good but do not mean it. Look at how many women show up at NASCAR events? Or Church? :grin2:


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## Miss Independent

.


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## Lila

spinsterdurga said:


> 4. Men who are threatened by independent women.


I liked your entire list, but this one gets a LIKEx100. 

I think the other extreme, _needy men_, is also a turn off. I've got a child. I want a partner.



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## Begin again

WorkingOnMe said:


> Tease.
> 
> Actually I'm fine with doing that, but to know it's being done on purpose seems like some kind of cruel test.


I think she meant "expecting" rather than "wanting." Certainly could be wrong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Independent

.


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## Begin again

blueinbr said:


> Maybe the women are just copying what the other posters wrote. Or they SAY this because it sounds good but do not mean it. Look at how many women show up at NASCAR events? Or Church? :grin2:


Turn off: men who think women say things to gain approval from others, don't know their own mind, and can't think for themselves. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe

spinsterdurga said:


> How?? What???? Why is it cruel?
> 
> I enjoy physical touch. Naked cuddling is fun and makes me feel good. I don't get how it's cruel?


Naked cuddling is fun. That part's fine. It's expecting him not to, and judging him for getting turned on that is cruel.


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## Begin again

WorkingOnMe said:


> Naked cuddling is fun. That part's fine. It's expecting him not to, and judging him for getting turned on that is cruel.


If he didn't get turned on... that would bother me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Independent

.


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## Lila

Begin again said:


> The only depressing thing, to me, is how many women listed racist/sexist/closed minded/angry/arrogant. If many women say the same, they have met or know enough men like this to say they don't want a man like this.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My bosses boss is like this. Objectively speaking, he's a good looking, relatively fit, single man in his early 50s with grown children and lots of money yet his personality makes him incredibly unattractive. 

Apparently I'm not the only one that thinks this. He can't find a girlfriend and has given up looking. 

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## Begin again

Lila said:


> My bosses boss is like this. Objectively speaking, he's a good looking, relatively fit, single man in his early 50s with grown children and lots of money yet his personality makes him incredibly unattractive.
> 
> Apparently I'm not the only one that thinks this. He can't find a girlfriend and has given up looking.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


Yeah. I know a guy like that, too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Miss Independent

.


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## GTdad

spinsterdurga said:


> Why?


Because unless I'm dead tired, my little brain is going to get some ideas about what it would like to do to that women lying naked with me, and my big brain is likely to agree with that plan.

And hell, I'm an old guy. The above process would've taken 1.17 seconds 35 years ago, if that long.

We may not be compatible, Spinsterdurga. :frown2:


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## Lila

GTdad said:


> Because unless I'm dead tired, my little brain is going to get some ideas about what it would like to do to that women lying naked with me, and my big brain is likely to agree with that plan.
> 
> And hell, I'm an old guy. The above process would've taken 1.17 seconds 35 years ago, if that long.
> 
> We may not be compatible, Spinsterdurga. :frown2:





WorkingOnMe said:


> Naked cuddling is fun. That part's fine. It's expecting him not to, and judging him for getting turned on that is cruel.


I read posts like this and get depressed. 

This might be TMI but I sleep in only underwear (g strings most nights) and get no 'response' from my husband even while laying on top of him (I use him like a body pillow sometimes). Reading posts suggesting the opposite is a gut punch. 

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## bandit.45

Define arrogance please.

Don't you think that self-confidence can sometimes come across as arrogance? I sometimes have that problem in my work life. Several of my female coworkers have chided me for coming across as a bit arrogant, when to me I'm just sure of myself. 

I'm also very opinionated and I tend to not back down from my opinion... if you all haven't noticed.


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## bandit.45

Lila said:


> I read posts like this and get depressed.
> 
> This might be TMI but I sleep in only underwear (g strings most nights) and get no 'response' from my husband even while laying on top of him (I use him like a body pillow sometimes). Reading posts suggesting the opposite is a gut punch.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


See, my hands each have there own brain. If my woman does what you do, she would be getting massaged and groped, without me even being cognizant that I am doing it. My love language is physical touch, and my hands certainly do know how to love...with or without me.


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## MrsAldi

bandit.45 said:


> Define arrogance please.
> 
> Don't you think that self-confidence can sometimes come across as arrogance? I sometimes have that problem in my work life. Several of my female coworkers have chided me for coming across as a bit arrogant, when to me I'm just sure of myself.
> 
> I'm also very opinionated and I tend to not back down from my opinion... if you all haven't noticed.


My definition of arrogance is when a person has a superiority complex. 
I'm better than you, your opinions mean nothing, I know everything. 
That was my ex. 

Self confidence and arrogance are two different things for me. 



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## Begin again

MrsAldi said:


> My definition of arrogance is when a person has a superiority complex.
> I'm better than you, your opinions mean nothing, I know everything.
> That was my ex.
> 
> Self confidence and arrogance are two different things for me.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Totally. An arrogant person talks past you or at you, but not with you. And they don't really care what you have to say.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Begin again

Come to think of it, arrogance is really feigned self confidence.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## peacem

bandit.45 said:


> Define arrogance please.
> 
> Don't you think that self-confidence can sometimes come across as arrogance? I sometimes have that problem in my work life. Several of my female coworkers have chided me for coming across as a bit arrogant, when to me I'm just sure of myself.
> 
> I'm also very opinionated and I tend to not back down from my opinion... if you all haven't noticed.


 Confidence is when a person is self assured enough not to have to be overly opinionated or 'right' all the time. Confident people know they are OK and don't need to make a song and dance of it. They don't need to control what they think other people should be or should think. They are happy with diversity and autonomy.

Arrogant people go to great lengths to convince you they are extraordinarily brilliant and right about everything. They compete when there is no need to compete and are smug when they do the most okay-ish of things that the rest of us wouldn't think twice about. They try too hard and out themselves as not being 'quite right'. They are aloof and come across as lacking empathy or sensitivity. They don't seem to look at the world beyond their own. They can't imagine how anyone else but themselves would feel about a certain situation.

This is a huge turn off. Nobody can make arrogance look sexy. Though arrogant people would beg to differ. They tend to be rather delusional. :wink2: (the wink doesn't mean I'm hitting on you).


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## Hope1964

He MUST like football and beer. And sex.
Other things that aren't as important:
Men should not:
- avoid eye contact
- flit from one topic to another
- lack chest hair
- take better care of their car than their house
- think women have to wear make up to be attractive
- mind floppy boobs
- ignore my kids
- have no inclination to earn money
- think everyone's out to GET them


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## WorkingOnMe

Hope1964 said:


> He MUST like football and beer. And sex.
> 
> Other things that aren't as important:
> 
> Men should not:
> 
> - avoid eye contact
> 
> - flit from one topic to another
> 
> - lack chest hair
> 
> - take better care of their car than their house
> 
> - think women have to wear make up to be attractive
> 
> - mind floppy boobs
> 
> - ignore my kids
> 
> - have no inclination to earn money
> 
> - think everyone's out to GET them




Mind floppy boobs! Lol

Seahawks!


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## Mr. Nail

spinsterdurga said:


> Post # 7 or #7 on my list?


#7 on your list SD. Cuddling naked IS sex.


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## browser

MrsAldi said:


> My definition of arrogance is when a person has a superiority complex.
> I'm better than you, your opinions mean nothing, I know everything.
> That was my ex.


Sometimes those feeling of being superior are valid.


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## Begin again

Mr. Nail said:


> #7 on your list SD. Cuddling naked IS sex.


Then there are a lot of Christians who think they are marrying virgins who are NOT!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Begin again

browser said:


> Sometimes those feeling of being superior are valid.


Removed as it could be deemed offensive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## browser

Begin again said:


> And here we have the definition of arrogance.


You're welcome.


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## MrsAldi

browser said:


> Sometimes those feeling of being superior are valid.


Please describe to me the benefits of superiority? 

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## Mr. Nail

Begin again said:


> Then there are a lot of Christians who think they are marrying virgins who are NOT!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Giggle. You finally cracked me up. There was a time years ago when I would have agreed with said Christians. Now I understand sex as an emotional need, and not as a biological process. Dr. Alex Comfort would argue that virginity is a state of mind not a physical history. But to return to the subtopic of Naked Cuddling. since you have established the emotional vulnerability and the physical vulnerability that allows the emotional bond, you are sexually connected and at that point slipping into intercourse is just having dessert after a nice dinner. The only reason to avoid the dessert, is if you already have all of the love you can take. And That is Why I'm in a different World than @spinsterdurga . Her emotional needs differ from mine.


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## GTdad

Lila said:


> I read posts like this and get depressed.
> 
> This might be TMI but I sleep in only underwear (g strings most nights) and get no 'response' from my husband even while laying on top of him (I use him like a body pillow sometimes). Reading posts suggesting the opposite is a gut punch.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


I'm very sorry, Lila. I don't get your H at all.


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## browser

MrsAldi said:


> Please describe to me the benefits of superiority?
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Let's face it, the average person isn't all that bright and most people live from paycheck to paycheck with little to no reserve cash. Some are REALLY dumb and some are like Einstein. 

The smarter people have greater potential to make more money. Some of us just get lucky and get a lot of money by winning the lottery or by having rich parents or striking oil or gold in their backyard.

However they get there, the filthy rich who live in mansions and go on exotic vacations all the time and who have their own helicopters are living a life that is vastly superior to the rest of us.

I see that sort of lifestyle as a huge benefit.


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## MrsAldi

@browser 
I'd rather be poor than look down on someone from a mansion. 
Money doesn't give anyone a right to believe that they are better than someone else. 
But I guess the saying "it's lonely at the top" comes from that sort of thinking. 

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## browser

MrsAldi said:


> I'd rather be poor than look down on someone from a mansion.


Or from a helicopter.


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## Vega

3Xnocharm said:


> Our lists are almost identical! I will add:
> 
> 11. Easily angered
> 
> I will never again tolerate another angry man!





Lila said:


> My bosses boss is like this. Objectively speaking, he's a good looking, relatively fit, single man in his early 50s with grown children and lots of money yet his personality makes him incredibly unattractive.
> 
> *Apparently I'm not the only one that thinks this*. He can't find a girlfriend and has given up looking.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


Yup! It's a shame that so many people who are like this can't/won't see it in themselves. Too egotistical to believe that anything is wrong with _them_.


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## Begin again

Mr. Nail said:


> Giggle. You finally cracked me up. There was a time years ago when I would have agreed with said Christians. Now I understand sex as an emotional need, and not as a biological process. Dr. Alex Comfort would argue that virginity is a state of mind not a physical history. But to return to the subtopic of Naked Cuddling. since you have established the emotional vulnerability and the physical vulnerability that allows the emotional bond, you are sexually connected and at that point slipping into intercourse is just having dessert after a nice dinner. The only reason to avoid the dessert, is if you already have all of the love you can take. And That is Why I'm in a different World than @spinsterdurga . Her emotional needs differ from mine.


I'll let the men here answer about whether naked cuddling = sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CatJayBird

Turn Offs:
Anger
Dishonesty
Intolerant
Narrow Minded
Conceited
Flamboyant
Suspicious


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## DustyDog

Begin again said:


> There's an interesting thread in the Men's forum about the personality traits in women that are turn offs for men. So, I thought it would be good to have one going over here (and I didn't find one, so hope this isn't a dupe).
> 
> Here are some things for me:
> 
> Conspiracy theorist - anyone who thinks the government, the media, or any other entity has some ulterior motive and negative agenda.
> 
> Thinks he can impress me with his stuff - he drives a porche, or a VP title, or owns a big house or goes on expensive vacations. Really? Good for you but you don't need to brag about it.
> 
> Doesn't know what he thinks - he gives in to your choice of restaurant, or movie, or whatever. Have an opinion, please.
> 
> Thinks he's really smart/funny - I once went out with a guy who did stand up comedy as a hobby. One of THE MOST BORING dates I've ever been on. Can't imagine what his routine was like. And also dated a professor who just thought everyone was stupid and that he had to suffer through existence along side all the knuckle draggers of the world.
> 
> Too serious - lighten up, already! Have a bit of fun!
> 
> Veiled racists - if you make comments about how black people talk, or Muslims dress, or how we have to endure ATMs that offer text in English and (heaven forbid!) Spanish, then I got nothing for ya!


You have described my wife....


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## Vega

browser said:


> Let's face it, the average person isn't all that bright and most people live from paycheck to paycheck with little to no reserve cash. Some are REALLY dumb and some are like Einstein.
> 
> The smarter people have greater potential to make more money. Some of us just get lucky and get a lot of money by winning the lottery or by having rich parents or striking oil or gold in their backyard.
> 
> However they get there, the filthy rich who live in mansions and go on exotic vacations all the time and who have their own helicopters are living a life that is vastly superior to the rest of us.
> 
> I see that sort of lifestyle as a huge benefit.


Just because someone makes more money than others does NOT mean (s)he is SUPERIOR to others or that he or she is living a life that is "superior". 

It's all in perception. 

And yes, there are SMART people who don't _want_ to be monetarily rich, own mansions or go on exotic vacations. Instead, they've happily dedicated their lives to helping others as social workers, nurses, teachers, ministers and missionaries (for example). 

They may not make a lot of money, but they may be happy with what they have.


----------



## browser

DustyDog said:


> You have described my wife....


Was she like that when you met her and decided she was the woman you want to spend your life with?

Or did she change AFTER it was too late?

Or did she just hide her true colors until she had you hooked?


----------



## browser

Vega said:


> Just because someone makes more money than others does NOT mean (s)he is SUPERIOR to others or that he or she is living a life that is "superior".
> 
> It's all in perception.


Ok, I'll rephrase. It is my _perception_ that the guy who is living in a 10,000 square foot mansion with a helicopter and a 200 foot yacht that looks like something out of a science fiction movie, that he takes around the world is living a life that is superior to a guy living out of a cardboard box and getting his meals in the soup kitchen.

I understand that my perception may vary from others.


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## Begin again

DustyDog said:


> You have described my wife....


And is that ok for you? Does it affect your relationship?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Begin again

One thing I've found that seems mostly an issue for men that is a turnoff for me are obsessions. Not hobbies, but real obsessions. Like guys who are so into their sports team that they have the game on during the birth of their child, or will schedule their lives around the game on TV. I've seen similar with guys into things like re-enactments or ham radio. If your focus is that narrow, then I'll have little to talk to you about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## meson

One upsmanship

Sports centric

Status name dropping


----------



## MrsAldi

Begin again said:


> One thing I've found that seems mostly an issue for men that is a turnoff for me are obsessions. Not hobbies, but real obsessions. Like guys who are so into their sports team that they have the game on during the birth of their child, or will schedule their lives around the game on TV. I've seen similar with guys into things like re-enactments or ham radio. If your focus is that narrow, then I'll have little to talk to you about.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is my husband. 
He gets grumpy over soccer. 
But he's a lovely, kind man.  

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


----------



## Begin again

MrsAldi said:


> This is my husband.
> He gets grumpy over soccer.
> But he's a lovely, kind man.
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Grumpy is one thing... obsession is another.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrsAldi

Begin again said:


> Grumpy is one thing... obsession is another.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Is wanting to name your future child after a soccer team obsessive? 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## brooklynAnn

If he broods constantly. A few hours I can take, but constant moodiness, will drive me nuts.


----------



## bandit.45

peacem said:


> This is a huge turn off. Nobody can make arrogance look sexy. Though arrogant people would beg to differ. They tend to be rather delusional. :wink2: (the wink doesn't mean I'm hitting on you).


Yes I guess I can be delusional.


----------



## Max.HeadRoom

spinsterdurga said:


> Why?


Why? Lying with a gal I desire and find beautiful, and my mind is not supposed to go there! Not easy.

As a ”Hands on” kind guy, my mind is there a lot & I feel it’s my job to keep the loving department running smoothly.


----------



## Begin again

MrsAldi said:


> Is wanting to name your future child after a soccer team obsessive?
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Does his daily life revolve around who the future players are, the stats, the history, the coaches, the tournaments, online blogs, live streaming...? Does he want to spend money you don't have to go to games?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## peacem

MrsAldi said:


> Is wanting to name your future child after a soccer team obsessive?
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Accrington Stanley would make a great name :grin2:


----------



## peacem

I needed to have a little think about this - here's my list

Arrogance (no brainer)
Quick to get angry over trivial things
Poor manners
Lack of intelligence (being uneducated is fine, but need to have a decent conversation)
Bigotry
Being good to his mother is endearing, being clingy and needy for her approval is a huge red flag.
Stingy with money, heavy bread head
Excessive spenders who are always looking to borrow money from people for the mortgage, taxes, car repairs
Heavy drinkers - real turn off
Grown men who play video games
Wears too much aftershave (yuk)
Spends more time than me to get ready, looks over 'groomed'
Poor hygiene, unkempt 
Compulsive lying
Poor, dangerous, aggressive drivers

(these are for starters....)


----------



## Begin again

Players/pick up artists
Pouty/moody
Passive aggressive
Conflict avoidant
Complainer rather than problem solver
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notmyrealname4

Cruelty to animals.



[I know it's already been said a couple of times. But I wanted to say it again for myself.]


----------



## Begin again

Bad manners has been said before, but it's definitely one for me.

Say please and thank you
Put your napkin in your lap
Don't pick your teeth at the table
Don't talk with your mouth full


All the things your mom should have taught you, in other words!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish

Not a personality trait, but I find a tattoo kind of sexy. Just one or 2 and nothing obnoxious. Oh, and a man shouldn't have a butterfly tat either; it has to be manly. But a lot of tats would be a turn off for me.


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## SimplyAmorous

It's easier to stress what I would particularly love in a man over what would be a huge turn off.. 

*1*. I love honesty, willing to show some vulnerability, so if I get the feeling he is faking things to be more appealing.. this would be hugely discouraging to me, red flags.. I'm tough... caught in one lie.. my trust would plummet and I'd question everything he said after this. 

*2. * If he wasn't the serious type (meaning values commitment, marriage) but just enjoyed going from women to women to women- until he got bored (relationship history would be very telling) ... I wouldn't want anything to do with him.

*3.* If he hangs out at bars, did any sort of drugs, been in trouble with the law.. immediate disqualifiers. 

*4.* Acted like Donald Trump in any way (Narcissist , thinks his sh** doesn't stink, puts others down, even people who were born a certain way)...OMG.. what an A$$hole... Goodbye!

*5.* Passive aggressive behavior...if troubled, going Silent on me...I wouldn't be able to swing with that.. talk to me.. let's get to the bottom of whatever it is.. 

*6.* I need a man who loves the country.. if he was a City guy...it would never work...

*7.* Any addiction (Video games, porn, sports fanatic, etc) that would suck his time (& $$) away from building a romantic relationship....

*8.* Money Management is huge...how much a man makes is not as important to me as *how* he manages it.. can he live within his means / does he have something to show for it / does he have money saved for a rainy day?...if a man lives paycheck to paycheck & is always broke...this would not be working for me.. 

*9.* Beards are a turn off to me.. stubble is sexy...

*10*. Talks too much without the natural "give & take"... I dearly love communication.. but I don't want to be steamrolled by an obsessive talker. 

*11*. A Fundamentalist in any sense, whether Political / Religious.. I need someone I can REASON with, who is open minded enough to see various sides of an issue...


----------



## UMP

browser said:


> Ok, I'll rephrase. It is my _perception_ that the guy who is living in a 10,000 square foot mansion with a helicopter and a 200 foot yacht that looks like something out of a science fiction movie, that he takes around the world is living a life that is superior to a guy living out of a cardboard box and getting his meals in the soup kitchen.
> 
> I understand that my perception may vary from others.


With this reasoning we can now deduce that Hitler was living a life that was far "superior" to that of Jesus Christ.

Well now, that clears everything up for us. Thanks!


----------



## Lila

bandit.45 said:


> See, my hands each have there own brain. If my woman does what you do, she would be getting massaged and groped, without me even being cognizant that I am doing it. My love language is physical touch, and my hands certainly do know how to love...with or without me.


Oh, my husband likes touching and petting but he won't get _sexually_ excited from it. That's the depressing part. 

On that note....

This is a personal turn off for me but men who won't show affection in public whether it's holding hands or hugging or even kissing. 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding

I can't stand dudes who don't cuddle :soapbox:


----------



## sixty-eight

1. Too well maintained physically. When i see a guy with really cut muscles, very tailored or tight clothing, overly groomed hair (facial or head hair) It makes me cringe. Narcissistic douchebro types. Checking their hair in every available reflective surface (decorative mirrors, spoons, rear view and side mirrors in cars) ::shudder:: 

2. Men who diet. very closely related, but not exactly the same. If we go out to dinner, and you are ordering a plain chicken breast and plain broccoli, weighing things and talking about calories. My libido does an auto shut down. No idea why. I'm not talking someone who watches what they eat, and tries to make healthy choices. I'm talking skipping meals and won't eat a slice of cake at a birthday party. who visibly recoils at the mention or sight of carbohydrates.

3. Men who could cuddle naked. If you can cuddle naked, or get an erection that you don't try to do anything about, then you are not for me. I want to be pursued early and often, and I want someone who is attracted to me. I can't imagine being attracted to someone and being cool with just laying there (Unless you've already had sex, and this is post-coital naked snuggling). I cannot fathom why anyone would just lay there next to a partner with a hard on you don't do anything about. Nope, my sex starved brain can't handle it.

There is no way I personally would be able to cuddle naked and not initiate, not at this stage in my life anyway. To me, that would be cruel, to ask me to cuddle naked but not want more. Like putting a cheeseburger in front of a hungry child and telling him to only cuddle it all night. 

4. Consistently using words incorrectly, and continuing to do so. Not just a one time mistake, or a typo. Malapropisms, mispronunciations.
examples: Pacifically/specifically, ax a question vs asking a question, intensive purposes instead of intents and purposes. 

Even worse, insisting that I'm the one saying it wrong instead, when i use the word or phrase correctly. Needing to look it up to prove to someone that it is incorrect. argh! just no.

5. Telling me about myself without asking, and being incorrect. I include an example from a recent email from my ex:
"I know you ladies have your own thing going on for Thanksgiving."

Do you know? How? We haven't discussed anything like that. There is no way you could know my plans/my thoughts about a particular topic definitively without asking me or hearing me discuss it with someone else. That is a guess, use the correct word.
I guess you ladies have your own thing going on for Thanksgiving. Might I assume you ladies have your own thing going for Thanksgiving? I suppose you ladies have your own thing going for Thanksgiving.

Other examples. "I know you have a boyfriend" "Your lawyer told you to stop talking to me, I know it"

So annoying.

6. Any sign of an addiction problem. nope.
No drugs at all.
I'm fine with a couple of beers here and there, a glass of wine with dinner. Maybe getting tipsy on your birthday and needing someone else to drive or calling a cab. Sure. To me, that is within the realm of reasonable behavior.

Drunk on a Tuesday afternoon? no. Needing someone else to drive every time you are out at a function? no.


----------



## sixty-eight

Lila said:


> snip
> 
> This is a personal turn off for me but men who won't show affection in public whether it's holding hands or hugging or even kissing.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


Yes! 
Or the opposite end of the spectrum, men who show too much affection in public or are inappropriately sexual. I'm not an exhibitionist. If i feel like other people can see us, are watching. I'm not having fun.

I also don't want to be forced to watch the exhibitionism of others. I'm talking places where you can't walk away. Trains, the subway, a movie theater, etc.
Grope your woman at home, or be more subtle :wink2:


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## naiveonedave

Begin again said:


> I'll let the men here answer about whether naked cuddling = sex.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


most definitely sex. Shocked if the men would not agree with me 100%.


----------



## naiveonedave

Lila said:


> Oh, my husband likes touching and petting but he won't get _sexually_ excited from it. That's the depressing part.
> 
> On that note....
> 
> This is a personal turn off for me but men who won't show affection in public whether it's holding hands or hugging or even kissing.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


I just can't fathom that. w/o threadjacking, it almost has to be low T or something.


----------



## bandit.45

sixty-eight said:


> Yes!
> Or the opposite end of the spectrum, men who show too much affection in public or are inappropriately sexual. I'm not an exhibitionist. I don't want to be forced to watch the exhibitionism of others.
> Grope your woman at home :wink2:


I'm with you. I think it is inappropriate to make out or pet or cuddle in a public place. Now holding hands? No problem. And I think it's okay to give your love a quick peck if you are dropping her back off at work, but other than that....no. 

One of my pet peeves is when I see a guy walking down the street with a woman with his arm around her neck. I despise that and unfortunately I see it all the time, especially with young guys. It's like they are protecting their real estate. Very irritating.


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## Herschel

bandit.45 said:


> I'm with you. I think it is inappropriate to make out or pet or cuddle in a public place. Now holding hands? No problem. And I think it's okay to give your love a quick peck if you are dropping her back off at work, but other than that....no.
> 
> One of my pet peeves is when I see a guy walking down the street with a woman with his arm around her neck. I despise that and unfortunately I see it all the time, especially with young guys. It's like they are protecting their real estate. Very irritating.


I agree with this mostly, though, hidden pdas are good. Like, making out in public in private.


----------



## sixty-eight

bandit.45 said:


> I'm with you. I think it is inappropriate to make out or pet or cuddle in a public place. Now holding hands? No problem. And I think it's okay to give your love a quick peck if you are dropping her back off at work, but other than that....no.
> 
> One of my pet peeves is when I see a guy walking down the street with a woman with his arm around her neck. I despise that and unfortunately I see it all the time, especially with young guys. It's like they are protecting their real estate. Very irritating.


Im ok with it if i can move, leave, be in another spot without too much trouble.

At a party and there's a couple making out in the kitchen? cool. i can go to the backyard or the living room. It's unpleasant, but it's not my problem.

However. If i'm on public transportation or at the movie theater and getting away is impractical or impossible. Now i'm forced to be in your direct vicinity. and i'm uncomfortable.
Same goes for it's happening to me. I'm on a date and he's being handsy. Hard to get away without starting a big dramatic thing. I mean, i will make a big scene if i have to, but i'm not going to enjoy it.
no thanks.


----------



## Lila

naiveonedave said:


> I just can't fathom that. w/o threadjacking, it almost has to be low T or something.


I have a very long thread in private detailing our adventures in identifying whether it's low t or something else. Based on the test results....it's something else. / end thread jack 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


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## sixty-eight

Begin again said:


> I'll let the men here answer about whether naked cuddling = sex.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i want to answer (I'm a woman)

Context is important.

Example 1: A young girl is a virgin. her and her boyfriend have not had intercourse yet. They have laid in her bed with some clothes off, and gotten to third base. If her girlfriends ask if they have had sex yet, saying yes is a little dishonest. There has been no penetration yet, and she still has her technical virginity/hymen intact.

Example 2: A woman is having an affair. Her husband has found out. He asks if they have had sex. She says no, since they've performed oral on each other and been together naked but no PIV has occurred. They were only hampered by constraints of a vehicle and timing, the intent was there. Totally dishonest.

Example 3. My husband has asked me for a BJ. I do so, and we are both naked. He orgasms quickly and falls asleep while mumbling that he will take care of me later. He does not, unless later means weeks from now. I lay down next to him on our sides ( he is the little spoon.) We are cuddling naked, have we had sex? I maintain that no, we have not. Nor does our naked cuddling equal sex, at least not for me.


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## uhtred

If only my wife believed that.....

That is a completely reasonable list. 



sixty-eight said:


> snip
> 3. Men who could cuddle naked. If you can cuddle naked, or get an erection that you don't try to do anything about, then you are not for me. I want to be pursued early and often, and I want someone who is attracted to me. I can't imagine being attracted to someone and being cool with just laying there (Unless you've already had sex, and this is post-coital naked snuggling). I cannot fathom why anyone would just lay there next to a partner with a hard on you don't do anything about. Nope, my sex starved brain can't handle it.
> 
> There is no way I personally would be able to cuddle naked and not initiate, not at this stage in my life anyway. To me, that would be cruel, to ask me to cuddle naked but not want more. Like putting a cheeseburger in front of a hungry child and telling him to only cuddle it all night.
> snip


----------



## SimplyAmorous

bandit.45 said:


> I'm with you. *I think it is inappropriate to make out or pet or cuddle in a public place. Now holding hands? No problem. And I think it's okay to give your love a quick peck if you are dropping her back off at work, but other than that....no.*
> 
> One of my pet peeves is when I see a guy walking down the street with a woman with his arm around her neck. I despise that and unfortunately I see it all the time, especially with young guys. It's like they are protecting their real estate. Very irritating.


 I must not get out much.. I haven't seen the hand around the neck thing much at all.. 

What you said is how my husband IS / feels....the most he would do out & about is a quick kiss.. no lingering tongue in public.. NEVER...he always reaches for my hand.. he is actually Very high in physical touch...both of us are... but nothing our kids would call inappropriate in public... 

Our daughter is 13 now... one of the things she says on a regular basis (like if a Viagra commercial comes on the Tv).. she'll look at us & say "That's inappropriate"... (we've gotten a chuckle out of this)....if she sees the title of one of my sex books on the shelf, she may tell me to hide that so no one sees it, again "Mom.. that's appropriate"... .. 

We're a pretty Open bunch at our house, not really ones to shield our kids from what we're talking about, like they have to leave the room.... yet still our daughter feels this way.. and will say these things.. 

Our barometer in public would probably fall within the lines of what she would consider "inappropriate"...


----------



## WasDecimated

sixty-eight said:


> 1. Too well maintained physically. When i see a guy with really cut muscles, very tailored or tight clothing, overly groomed hair (facial or head hair) It makes me cringe. Narcissistic douchebro types. Checking their hair in every available reflective surface (decorative mirrors, spoons, rear view and side mirrors in cars) ::shudder::


Well, I'm a guy. 
The first part of your description sounds like me except the exaggerated checking of the hair thing. I see nothing wrong with taking some kind of pride in ones appearance, staying in shape, and wearing nice clothes when the occasion calls for it. 

Now I have to wonder: Do random women think I'm a douche-bag because I care what I look like?


----------



## farsidejunky

If they, they aren't for you. 

Be the man you want to be.


----------



## bandit.45

sixty-eight said:


> Im ok with it if i can move, leave, be in another spot without too much trouble.
> 
> At a party and there's a couple making out in the kitchen? cool. i can go to the backyard or the living room. It's unpleasant, but it's not my problem.
> 
> However. If i'm on public transportation or at the movie theater and getting away is impractical or impossible. Now i'm forced to be in your direct vicinity. and i'm uncomfortable.
> Same goes for it's happening to me. I'm on a date and he's being handsy. Hard to get away without starting a big dramatic thing. I mean, i will make a big scene if i have to, but i'm not going to enjoy it.
> no thanks.


Tharl be no patty fingering going on now....:nerd:


----------



## bandit.45

SimplyAmorous said:


> I must not get out much.. I haven't seen the hand around the neck thing much at all.


I'm just going to come out and say it: young Latino men. They do it a lot. You will literally see them hanging off their girlfriends. I feel like asking them "Hey why don't you make a big basket you can crawl in, with some shoulder straps, and your little lady can just carry you around on her back!"


----------



## Herschel

Decimated said:


> Well, I'm a guy.
> The first part of your description sounds like me except the exaggerated checking of the hair thing. I see nothing wrong with taking some kind of pride in ones appearance, staying in shape, and wearing nice clothes when the occasion calls for it.
> 
> Now I have to wonder: Do random women think I'm a douche-bag because I care what I look like?


Only if you care to look like a *********, which is the implication that look has to her.


----------



## sixty-eight

Decimated said:


> Well, I'm a guy.
> The first part of your description sounds like me except the exaggerated checking of the hair thing. I see nothing wrong with taking some kind of pride in ones appearance, staying in shape, and wearing nice clothes when the occasion calls for it.
> 
> Now I have to wonder: Do random women think I'm a douche-bag because I care what I look like?


Perhaps, but it's just a preference. Some woman go nuts over that, i know. I've heard them talk about how hot whoever is, with those v-lines or 6 pack or bubble butt created by lots of sportsing. One of my cousins is married to a pink popped collar, frat bro, beer can smashing neanderthal who tells jokes in public(in front of my grandma) about boobs and butts. He uses a lot of product in his hair, and they have season tickets and go to tailgate parties. They are so in love. She doesn't put butter on anything, eats exactly 15 plain almonds for a snack and runs triathlons. They work a lot and have a lot of nice things, and get up early to go to a nice clean gym and that's important to them.
They're nice people. That works for them, and a lot of other people i know.

I guess to put it plainly, i'm not into preening fancy peac*cks. If you happen to look good, great. If you look like you spent a lot of time to look that way every day, that's very unmasculine to me. 
Jocks, and suit/ties work for a lot of women. I guess i'm a weirdo, but that junk does absolutely nothing for me. I would totally go for Clark Kent, and ignore Superman for instance.

And those types probably aren't attracted to me either. I don't work out and I don't diet. I hike a lot, and do some yoga, but because I get personal enjoyment out of it not for the workout. On weekends I usually do projects around the house with my dad, or I go to a concert with one of my brothers. I like melodic hardcore/metalcore, we saw Stick To Your Guns and Stray From the Path a few weeks ago in Philly. I don't fit in there either, physically. I have one (hidden by normal clothing) tattoo, and i took out my few piercings when i had kids. The last few weekends have been spent mowing with the tractor/ splitting and stacking wood for winter /cleaning out the garage. I own steel toe boots and Carhardt coveralls. I usually wear my glasses instead of putting in my contacts, and i'm a geeky book nerd. I'm not into romance books either, I like thrillers and mysteries,classics or smart comedies. I see personal care as something to get it over with, not as a fun activity (shopping/haircuts/manicures) I'm a practical girl, i don't wear a lot of makeup and i'm not fancy. I can get ready to go out in 10 minutes. I wear jeans and band tee shirts and converse or (not fancy)boots and sweaters. I don't own high heels. I'm an introvert, and a wallflower. I'm attracted to my counterpart, not my opposite.

I put all that there, to emphasize that i am by no means the average early 30's woman, and catering to what i like will put you in a niche that potentially very few may like. I would continue on, if that's you. My unofficial survey of the general female population says that you are on the money with the being well groomed and the gymming/sportsing and the nice clothes. I am the outlier.


----------



## WasDecimated

sixty-eight said:


> I put all that there, to emphasize that i am by no means the average early 30's woman, and catering to what i like will put you in a niche that potentially very few may like. I would continue on, if that's you. My unofficial survey of the general female population says that you are on the money with the being well groomed and the gymming/sportsing and the nice clothes. I am the outlier.


I see where you are coming from now. I'm 20 years ahead of you. The women in my age range seem to be more attracted (visually) to more professional types but with a masculine edge. Don't get me wrong, I'm a jeans and T-shirt guy around the house.


----------



## sixty-eight

Decimated said:


> I see where you are coming from now. I'm 20 years ahead of you. The women in my age range seem to be more attracted (visually) to more professional types but with a masculine edge. Don't get me wrong, I'm a jeans and T-shirt guy around the house.


I hear that. What i'm saying is the women in _both_ mine and your age ranges seem to be more visually attracted to professional types with a masculine edge.

I am well aware that some of my (visual) preferences veer off away from the norm, 
not just for other women my own age, but also simply
in general 
:grin2:


----------



## SimplyAmorous

sixty-eight said:


> Perhaps, but it's just a preference. Some woman go nuts over that, i know. I've heard them talk about how hot whoever is, with those v-lines or 6 pack or bubble butt created by lots of sportsing. One of my cousins is married to a pink popped collar, frat bro, beer can smashing neanderthal who tells jokes in public about boobs and butts. He uses a lot of product in his hair, and they have season tickets and go to tailgate parties. They are so in love. She doesn't put butter on anything, eats exactly 15 plain almonds for a snack and runs triathlons. They work a lot and have a lot of nice things, and get up early to go to a nice clean gym and that's important to them.
> They're nice people. That works for them, and a lot of other people i know.
> 
> I guess to put it plainly, i'm not into preening fancy peac*cks. If you happen to look good, great. If you look like you spent a lot of time to look that way every day, that's very unmasculine to me.
> Jocks, and suit/ties work for a lot of women. I guess i'm a weirdo, but that junk does absolutely nothing for me. *I would totally go for Clark Kent, and ignore Superman for instance*.


I have said the same thing before a # of times... I am usually referring to a more sensitive man, over one who is stoic, can't be hurt by a woman, type thing...I love the human side, wouldn't want it taken from my man. 

I have never worked out or belonged to a gym.. neither has my husband ...through all our years.. weight was never an issue for either of us (a little high cholesterol was though) ...I'd say we both do enough work around the house and on the job (still exercise getting the heart pumping) & love nature walks.... Just could never see paying money for anything else... 

For a time we tried working out in our home when the kids were in school... buying sexy work out videos to keep it interesting, a little spicy..... but still it got old after awhile.. Personally I wouldn't care to live up to that lifestyle.. if those things were important to someone....

This doesn't always mean a couple wouldnt care how they looked out & about though.... I very much enjoy dressing up, dresses & all.... he lets me pick out his clothes for outings.. saves him the aggrvation... I do love my heels though.


----------



## sixty-eight

bandit.45 said:


> Tharl be no _*patty fingering*_ going on now....:nerd:


patty fingering? What is that?

Don't google it, every link was porn of someone named Patty getting fingered, or someone getting fingered on St.Paddy's day. etc.
(unless you like that sort of thing)


----------



## bandit.45

sixty-eight said:


> patty fingering? What is that?
> 
> Don't google it, every link was porn of someone named Patty getting fingered, or someone getting fingered on St.Paddy's day. etc.
> (unless you like that sort of thing)


LOL....

It's an Irish term. Back in the old days, two dating people had a chaperone who went with them everywhere to make sure there was no "patty fingering" or holding hands going on. 

Haven't you seen The Quiet Man with John Wayne?


----------



## Herschel

I think, to an extent, that most women want a man who's got it going on but doesn't look like he tries to have it going on. Very few of those guys exist, and most of them are Navy Seals. I'm growing the beard for the first time and I am doing my best to keep it trimmed and looking good, but I have to work even harder to make it seem like I am not doing that. It's quite the conundrum.

On a side note regarding nude cuddling (that word is on the same level as moist to me), I am almost never nude, but almost always just in my boxers...does that count? Given those circumstances and being physically close to a female and rocking a rock, the desire for sex is high, but it's feasible to not have sex under the circumstance that the sex life is good in general. If I had sex the previous 2 days and right now we are nudish cuddling, then I am square with that.


----------



## Faithful Wife

sixty-eight said:


> 3. Men who could cuddle naked. If you can cuddle naked, or get an erection that you don't try to do anything about, then you are not for me. I want to be pursued early and often, and I want someone who is attracted to me. I can't imagine being attracted to someone and being cool with just laying there (Unless you've already had sex, and this is post-coital naked snuggling). I cannot fathom why anyone would just lay there next to a partner with a hard on you don't do anything about. Nope, my sex starved brain can't handle it.
> 
> There is no way I personally would be able to cuddle naked and not initiate, not at this stage in my life anyway. To me, that would be cruel, to ask me to cuddle naked but not want more. Like putting a cheeseburger in front of a hungry child and telling him to only cuddle it all night.


This was an interesting one to hear your perspective on, because I've never even pondered cuddling naked without sex being on the table either before, as a result of, or after. I hadn't thought about those who would/could cuddle naked but not want or have sex (or even get aroused).

As for erections and not doing anything about them....hmmmm.....that's a tough one because he gets about 20 erections a day and we only have time for sex maybe 3 times per day.....although honestly he does try for sex during all 20 erections, so I guess that's still within your guidelines. :grin2:

I'm just being cheeky by saying, no way could I handle 20 times per day. Lol!

Oh and another cute note on this specific topic....

When I first had the birds and bees talk with my (now adult) son at about age 4 or 5, I had a little book to go through with him that helps the kid understand. At the "end" when the mommy and daddy are having sex (apparently), we see the bare shoulders of mom and dad under some covers and they are smiling and looking into each other's eyes.

I did explain what was going on under the covers but of course he was too young to really get it, that kind of understanding eludes them at that age, but I was setting the stage for future conversations.

Anyway, after that talk, anytime the subject of where babies come from was mentioned my son would say "babies come from cuddling naked!" It was so adorable hearing him say that, he was so cute!


----------



## Faithful Wife

Herschel said:


> On a side note regarding nude cuddling (that word is on the same level as moist to me), *I am almost never nude*, but almost always just in my boxers...does that count? Given those circumstances and being physically close to a female and rocking a rock, the desire for sex is high, but it's feasible to not have sex under the circumstance that the sex life is good in general. If I had sex the previous 2 days and right now we are nudish cuddling, then I am square with that.


So you're a never nude, eh? 

(1000 internet points to the first poster who knows what I'm referring to)


----------



## wild jade

-Braggarts and show-offs, guys who are always competing to one-up each other -- or anyone
-Mean or disrespectful to others (like other posters, I'd include animals in that)
-Sexist, thinks women have a place and should be put in it or that our value is our appearance and that's what we should care most about
-Racist, any form of it
-Arrogant, always needing to be right
-Guys who can't ask for directions or admit to a mistake
-Easily threatened, freaks out when the slightest thing goes wrong
-Worried about being manly

-And another poster mentioned this, but I agree 100%. Trump supporter. Wouldn't touch that with a 10 ft pole.


----------



## Herschel

Faithful Wife said:


> So you're a never nude, eh?
> 
> (1000 internet points to the first poster who knows what I'm referring to)


I look great in daisy dukes. What can I say.


----------



## wild jade

The idea that naked cuddling = sex just makes me LOL. A way to boost your numbers, I guess? :scratchhead:

My husband and I naked cuddle all the time without having sex. Part of it, I suppose, is that there really is only so many times a day you can have sex. Not to mention how much time you devote to naked cuddling.


----------



## wild jade

oh, and aftershave. Of any kind. Yuck!


----------



## Faithful Wife

wild jade said:


> And another poster mentioned this, but I agree 100%. Trump supporter. Wouldn't touch that with a 10 ft pole.


I've been on the dating market for about 7 months this year. Any guy I actually planned on going on a date with, I asked him about Trump. This was a deal breaker question, and I would set it up that way. "I have to ask you this one very important question...I hope it doesn't mean we can't see each other..." 

They were always intrigued and I'm sure they thought it was something more like "do you want more kids" or "do you want to get married". But the real question was "what are your thoughts on Donald Trump?" I did not reveal my own thoughts on him when asking the question.

Luckily I live in a very liberal area and most people are not likely to be for Trump, so most guys don't support Trump around here and their answers ranged from "I think he's a raving lunatic" to "I fear for our country if he wins" (this one was several months ago, obviously). One guy had a sort of wishy washy answer that sounded like he was for Trump but didn't want to say it....he got excluded from the line up.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

So envious am I FW... my husband doesn't get erections like that.. (20 a day!!.. maybe in his youth!)... I never noticed this till 9 yrs ago...I used to take it personal... when my drive skyrocketed .. this was very hard on me.. why I ended up HERE...I did send him to get his Testosterone checked.. all that.. had to downplay WHY we were really there.. Nympho wife here...He was OK.. but yes.. lower Test than the average male his age...

I had to read so much to NOT take this personal...the fact he loves to cuddle naked, behind closed doors...and IS always up for it.. his motto : "If I can get it up, I WANT TO USE IT"...though yeah...I'd have to take some charge over that... I can live with it as I know he loves to be there.. he loves the intimacy.. if he didn't get off... I think I'd have issues though.... 

I would not disqualify a man for voting for Trump.. only if he acted like him.. I am more conservative.. this wins me no points with most posters here....so many has stereotyped the da** word to be almost evil & on par with the religious right (many of those make me cringe, I am embarrassed & ashamed) ...yet there are things I AGREE with that Republicans support but there are also things I surely disagree.. same with the Democrats... I am somewhere in the middle.. 

Most of the people I personally know.. since we're in a more conservative area - seem to be voting for Trump.. how in the world they overlook this man's character is beyond me.. I can't do it [email protected]# Colin Powell called him a "disgrace".... I couldn't agree more so..... they are doing it all for the party...but still ... he should have never been allowed to get this far... He will NOT WIN...he has handed this election to Hillary.


----------



## Faithful Wife

SimplyAmorous said:


> So envious am I FW... my husband doesn't get erections like that.. (20 a day!!.. maybe in his youth!)... I never noticed this till 9 yrs ago...I used to take it personal... when my drive skyrocketed .. this was very hard on me.. why I ended up HERE...I did send him to get his Test checked.. all that.. had to downplay WHY we were really there.. Nympho wife here...He was OK.. but yes.. lower Test than the average male his age....


I am a lucky girl for sure....however, I know he couldn't actually have sex 20 times per day, just to be clear! 

There is quite a difference between just being aroused and having the energy and interest to actually have sex. 

The fact that he tries every time is just cute and fun. Even he knows it couldn't actually happen every time.

And by saying "he tries", I don't mean a full court press. He just says "hey baby look what you did to me, are you going to touch it now?" or something like that. The full court press comes when he knows we both have the time and energy to actually have sex.


----------



## sixty-eight

Faithful Wife said:


> This was an interesting one to hear your perspective on, because I've never even pondered cuddling naked without sex being on the table either before, as a result of, or after. I hadn't thought about those who would/could cuddle naked but not want or have sex (or even get aroused).
> 
> As for erections and not doing anything about them....hmmmm.....that's a tough one because he gets about 20 erections a day and we only have time for sex maybe 3 times per day.....although honestly he does try for sex during all 20 erections, so I guess that's still within your guidelines. :grin2:
> 
> I'm just being cheeky by saying, no way could I handle 20 times per day. Lol!
> 
> Oh and another cute note on this specific topic....
> 
> When I first had the birds and bees talk with my (now adult) son at about age 4 or 5, I had a little book to go through with him that helps the kid understand. At the "end" when the mommy and daddy are having sex (apparently), we see the bare shoulders of mom and dad under some covers and they are smiling and looking into each other's eyes.
> 
> I did explain what was going on under the covers but of course he was too young to really get it, that kind of understanding eludes them at that age, but I was setting the stage for future conversations.
> 
> Anyway, after that talk, anytime the subject of where babies come from was mentioned my son would say "babies come from cuddling naked!" It was so adorable hearing him say that, he was so cute!


This was in sort of response to an earlier statement:


spinsterdurga said:


> 7. Men who can't cuddle naked without wanting sex


 and


spinsterdurga said:


> I see .
> 
> No I meant expecting sex. I don't mind a man having an erection but naked cuddling helps me bond and feel close to my partner. If a man expects sex EVERY time we're cuddling naked, that's a turn off.
> 
> He needs to be able to get an erection and not act on it.


Not post sex cuddling and not as foreplay. Just the cuddling.

If i'm with someone capable of naked cuddling on a no sex day, then we are not very compatible. I want sex every day. There will probably be no day in the near future, that i will be capable of naked cuddling and not initiating at least some sexual activity. If I and a partner are in bed, naked cuddling, and he gets a hard on, i cannot fathom continuing to naked cuddle and ignoring it and wanting him to ignore it as well. Just as i wouldn't want him to be holding me naked and see that i'm aroused, and to just continue to hold me only. If i'm naked cuddling, and i'm aroused, but I know that my partner is not open to sex, then i'm probably not capable of continued naked cuddling. And maybe that's the difference, for low drive people, it would be fulfilling. For me, a high drive woman coming out of a SSM, it would be frustrating, and upsetting.

This is not, he's got morning wood and you are trying to get up and make the kids breakfast and go to work so you make plans for later. This is a day where you have time to cuddle naked, and you just don't want him to take it any further. I guess I've just never been sexed up enough to where my head can wrap around that. Maybe after I had sex for a few days in a row? I guess i could answer that question if i ever get to have sex on consecutive days.


That is such a cute story:grin2:
I purposed to talk to my girls and to teach them to correct names for all of their lady parts. Now they are that kid from kindergarten cop who tells everyone that babies get pushed out of vaginas.


----------



## Faithful Wife

sixty-eight said:


> I guess I've just never been sexed up enough to where my head can wrap around that. Maybe after I had sex for a few days in a row? I guess i could answer that question if i ever get to have sex on consecutive days.


I hope you do get to have this someday. It is awesome, I promise. 

I'm sorry I don't know your situation...are you still in a sexless relationship?


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## sixty-eight

spinsterdurga said:


> What makes you think that I'm low drive?
> 
> You know when you don't get something it's better to ask to try to understand.
> 
> I'm neither low drive nor dangling sex in a man's face.


oh no no. i did not say that you were low drive. no.

i said that i'm high drive. I said that I would not be able to do this.

i meant that perhaps a low drive man would be happy and fulfilled to naked cuddle with me, whereas i would be upset.


----------



## sixty-eight

Faithful Wife said:


> I hope you do get to have this someday. It is awesome, I promise.
> 
> I'm sorry I don't know your situation...are you still in a sexless relationship?


no i'm out. Just single now, and a single mom


----------



## sixty-eight

spinsterdurga said:


> What makes you think that I'm low drive?
> 
> You know when you don't get something it's better to ask to try to understand.
> 
> I'm neither low drive nor dangling sex in a man's face.


And on that note, you didn't ask or try to understand what I said, when you didn't get something. I would not and did not suggest either of those things. I simply represent an opposing view.

Everyone likes what they like, and that's fine. I just wouldn't happen to choose a partner that likes to naked cuddle with no sex.

Considering we both identify as heterosexual females on this forum, and are not likely to be partnered up sexually, I didn't anticipate that being a big deal.


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## Fozzy

bandit.45 said:


> One of my pet peeves is when I see a guy walking down the street with a woman with his arm around her neck. I despise that and unfortunately I see it all the time, especially with young guys. It's like they are protecting their real estate. Very irritating.


Are you talking like a sleeper hold, or more of a camel clutch?


----------



## Fozzy

Faithful Wife said:


> I hope you do get to have this someday. It is awesome, I promise.
> 
> I'm sorry I don't know your situation...are you still in a sexless relationship?


The clue is in the name.

Sorry sixty-eight


----------



## Mr. Nail

@spinsterdurga , Sorry I made a deal about it. I hope I got the message across that I firmly believe that Naked cuddling san sexual intercourse is an emotional need for you. Just because it is somewhat unusual does not make it non valid. It is not the most outlandish need I have ever seen. In fact it is quite similar to some other needs I am more familiar with, if I am interpreting the need correctly.


----------



## bandit.45

Fozzy said:


> Are you talking like a sleeper hold, or more of a camel clutch?


Drunken rugby player one-arm dangler....


----------



## Faithful Wife

bandit.45 said:


> Drunken rugby player one-arm dangler....


I guess I know what you mean...but I don't generally see it as a guy staking a claim on his property. Or maybe it is just that I love it when my man stakes a claim on me, so I don't see just having his arm around my neck as the defining thing that stakes his claim.

We don't go around like this a lot but there are plenty of times he has his arm around my neck/head in what might look to others like he's about to give me a noogie. I just think its cute and fun. Once in a while he actually does give me a noogie.


----------



## bandit.45

wild jade said:


> oh, and aftershave. Of any kind. Yuck!


What about cologne?


----------



## bandit.45

deleted


----------



## sixty-eight

spinsterdurga said:


> You said this:
> 
> 
> 
> And
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So I asked you what made you think that I was low drive to clarify your comment and maybe help understand where I was coming from.
> 
> Lol it's not a big deal.


I respectfully disagree.
clearly, it's generating some discussion.

You said naked cuddling is something you need. Also, that during the naked cuddling "He needs to be able to get an erection and not act on it."
To me, a man who wanted naked cuddling without sex would be a cruel tease and a turn off. Also, that I don't understand ignoring a partners arousal on a day you haven't had sex, and at a time where you would be available for it. I won't understand where you are coming from, unless my drive lowers, or frequent sex is happening at other times. I would also not understand a partner of mine being ok with not acting on their own arousal while cuddling naked, unless they were low drive or their was some other health issue.


My offense at your post, was when you incorrectly summarized what i said, and then in the same post told me to ask if i didn't understand something.
To me, those are conflicting things.


----------



## Mr. Nail

Their should probably be a thread about cologne / aftershave. Perhaps it is too much a matter of personal taste for a discussion to be of much use.


----------



## Hope1964

There's nothing that TAMmers can't disagree on, is there? :rofl::rofl:


----------



## Hope1964

I don't have an opinion about kinds of cologne/aftershave/perfume/smelly stuff, but I DO know when I DON'T like it, and it's always when there's WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much of it.


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## GTdad

spinsterdurga said:


> The funny thing is that cuddling naked is actually tied to my cycle and explaining that would be TMI.


Is there such a thing as TMI at TAM??

That makes a little more sense, though.


----------



## Andy1001

Explain what women mean by saying they are independent.I really would like to understand this.Is it financially or is it that they don't need a man in their life other than for sex.


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## Herschel

I don't like the scented man. If you smell like something, take a shower.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Faithful Wife

spinsterdurga said:


> The funny thing is that cuddling naked is actually tied to my cycle and explaining that would be TMI.


Well, of course we don't cuddle completely naked on those days. Just need panties though, for obvious reasons.


----------



## EllisRedding

Faithful Wife said:


> So you're a never nude, eh?
> 
> (1000 internet points to the first poster who knows what I'm referring to)












Separately if I cuddled with my W naked, if (a) I did not get an erection and (b) did not work it into sex she would think there was either something wrong with me or that I didn't find her attractive. What is the point of lying naked with someone if you aren't going to enjoy it to the fullest ...


----------



## sixty-eight

sixty-eight said:


> I respectfully disagree.
> clearly, it's generating some discussion.
> 
> You said naked cuddling is something you need. Also, that during the naked cuddling "He needs to be able to get an erection and not act on it."
> *To me*, a man who wanted naked cuddling without sex would be a cruel tease and a turn off. * Also, that I don't understand ignoring a partners arousal on a day you haven't had sex, and at a time where you would be available for it.* I won't understand where you are coming from, unless my drive lowers, or frequent sex is happening at other times. I would also not understand a partner of mine being ok with not acting on their own arousal while cuddling naked, unless they were low drive or their was some other health issue.
> 
> 
> My offense at your post, was when you incorrectly summarized what i said, and then in the same post told me to ask if i didn't understand something.
> To me, those are conflicting things.





spinsterdurga said:


> Ok? Where did you get the above? I never wrote that.
> 
> I felt that you made an assumption, and I called you out on it. I don't see the issue.
> 
> I asked you what made you think I was ld to understand what led to your conclusion and to make it clear that I wasn't.
> 
> Honestly I don't get why you're offended.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The funny thing is that cuddling naked is actually tied to my cycle and explaining that would be TMI.


I didn't say you wrote it. I wrote it. Faithful Wife asked me a question about my post, and i was responding to her.
I quoted yours and hers in my response to her, because i was explaining what got me thinking about my completely opposite opinion about what would turn me off about a man.
*


spinsterdurga said:



What makes you think that I'm low drive? 

You know when you don't get something it's better to ask to try to understand. 

I'm neither low drive nor dangling sex in a man's face.

Click to expand...



This ^^ is the post that offended me, because you gave me advice that was far more applicable to you. When you presumed to incorrectly summarize what i said, in a way that I would have never written it, and then followed that by instructing me about the best procedure for if you don't understand something instead of assuming. Which you clearly didn't feel the need to follow.

agree to disagree.

i feel like I've explained it a few times, and now we're getting into the realm of beating a dead horse.*


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Do we need to set up a tub of jello in here?


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## Lila

bandit.45 said:


> What about cologne?


Count me in and one who loves, loves, loves cologne on a man just as long as he didn't bathe himself in it a.k.a smells like a man wh0re 

My second favorite scent on a man is Old Spice Swagger shower gel and aftershave.

Funny story.....I once followed a guy clear across campus because he smelled so good. No, I'm not weird... okay, maybe just a little. 


Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


----------



## Lila

Andy1001 said:


> Explain what women mean by saying they are independent.I really would like to understand this.Is it financially or is it that they don't need a man in their life other than for sex.


Here's my description. They have their own fulfilling lives and are with a man because they _want_ to be with him not because they _need_ to be.


----------



## Andy1001

Lila said:


> Here's my description. They have their own fulfilling lives and are with a man because they _want_ to be with him not because they _need_ to be.


So you can be a married woman and still class yourself as independent?


----------



## Lila

Andy1001 said:


> So you can be a married woman and still class yourself as independent?


Can't see why not. 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


----------



## wild jade

bandit.45 said:


> What about cologne?


Same response. Men's scents don't' smell quite as much like a woman's bathroom as women's scents do, but still yuck.


----------



## Celes

Turn offs:

- Self-proclaimed "nice guys". If they need to tell you they're a nice guy, chances are they aren't 

- Momma's boys. I'm all for a man to have a good relationship with his mom, but if she's over at his house doing his laundry every week, we have a problem 

- Men who sl*t shame women but don't reserve the same judgment for men or are promiscuous themselves 

- Men who can't take the lead. Example, a man asks me on a date then asks where I'd like to go (so you want me to ask me out and have me plan it?). Or a man who's too afraid to make the first move sexually. 

- Men with low self confidence and who need a lot of reassurance 

- Insecure/Controlling/Angry/Arrogant men

- Men who are intimidated by career women 

- Men of low intelligence. I don't care how hot a guy is, if he's as dumb as a bag of rocks then I'm immediately turned off.


----------



## bandit.45

wild jade said:


> Same response. Men's scents don't' smell quite as much like a woman's bathroom as women's scents do, but still yuck.


Wow. Interesting.


----------



## bandit.45

Celes said:


> Turn offs:
> 
> - Self-proclaimed "nice guys". If they need to tell you they're a nice guy, chances are they aren't
> 
> - Momma's boys. I'm all for a man to have a good relationship with his mom, but if she's over at his house doing his laundry every week, we have a problem
> 
> - Men who sl*t shame women but don't reserve the same judgment for men or are promiscuous themselves
> 
> - Men who can't take the lead. Example, a man asks me on a date then asks where I'd like to go (so you want me to ask me out and have me plan it?). Or a man who's too afraid to make the first move sexually.
> 
> - Men with low self confidence and who need a lot of reassurance
> 
> - Insecure/Controlling/Angry/Arrogant men
> 
> - *Men who are intimidated by career women *
> 
> - Men of low intelligence. I don't care how hot a guy is, if he's as dumb as a bag of rocks then I'm immediately turned off.




I don't mind a career woman. What I do mind is a career woman who puts her career before marriage and kids. Some women...some I say... want to throw all the responsibility of house and home on the husband, and if he's working also, that is not fair. There has to be a balance. And I would say the same for men who put their career above all else. It cannot work that way. 

There are also women who think that just because they make more money than their husband that they are somehow superior and can run roughshod over their husband's feelings and viewpoints. That really gets my spinal ridges up.


----------



## sixty-eight

wild jade said:


> Same response. Men's scents don't' smell quite as much like a woman's bathroom as women's scents do, but still yuck.


i agree with this as well.

i like subtle scents, like fabric softener or soap/body wash, but if i can smell you from any sort of distance, it can have an adverse effect. It hurts my eyes and forces me to be a mouth breather. Sometimes someone has loaded it on so much that you can almost taste it.

I really dislike it if it's clearly supposed to be covering a bad/not ideal smell, and not doing a great job. like smoking. I can tell if someone smoked in their car and then loaded the body spray over top. My brother really doesn't get that when he sprays air freshener everywhere, that now he just smells like pot _and_ air freshener.


----------



## Celes

bandit.45 said:


> I don't mind a career woman. What I do mind is a career woman who puts her career before marriage and kids. Some women...some I say... want to throw all the responsibility of house and home on the husband, and if he's working also, that is not fair. There has to be a balance. And I would say the same for men who put their career above all else. It cannot work that way.
> 
> There are also women who think that just because they make more money than their husband that they are somehow superior and can run roughshod over their husband's feelings and viewpoints. That really gets my spinal ridges up.


I agree that there needs to be a balance. My H and I both split household duties fairly. There's no my money, your money going on either. We have one joint account. All large purchases are discussed. As to your last point, men are guilty of the same. Especially in the case of a SAHM, and it annoys me as well. 

As an example though, my ex started treating me very badly after he lost his job. Right around that time, I got my first job out of university and it paid as much as his old job, and he was a few years older than me. He finally admitted that he hated that I made more money than him, that it made him fee less like a man. I never judged him at all for his situation, so his insecurity really hurt. He would always make comments where he assumed I would just quit work and stay home if we ever had kids.


----------



## lucy999

Faithful Wife said:


> So you're a never nude, eh?
> 
> (1000 internet points to the first poster who knows what I'm referring to)


Has this been answered?? My all time fave show Arrested Development! Tobias Funke.

And to answer the original question I have no time for men who are rude to wait staff, valets, and other service people. Also Men Who reschedule or cancel their visitation with their children to go on a date. Lastly, men who are rude to elderly people.


----------



## bandit.45

Lila said:


> Count me in and one who loves, loves, loves cologne on a man just as long as he didn't bathe himself in it a.k.a smells like a man wh0re
> 
> My second favorite scent on a man is Old Spice Swagger shower gel and aftershave.
> 
> Funny story.....I once followed a guy clear across campus because he smelled so good. No, I'm not weird... okay, maybe just a little.
> 
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


I'm the same way with women. There is a lady who works as a receptionist for one of my clients. She is very pretty, but the thing I like about her is her smell. Dammmmmmn she smells good. I love to just sit in the waiting room of her office and snort that air. :grin2:


----------



## bandit.45

sixty-eight said:


> i agree with this as well.
> 
> i like subtle scents, like fabric softener or soap/body wash, but if i can smell you from any sort of distance, it can have an adverse effect. It hurts my eyes and forces me to be a mouth breather. Sometimes someone has loaded it on so much that you can almost taste it.
> 
> I really dislike it if it's clearly supposed to be covering a bad/not ideal smell, and not doing a great job. like smoking. I can tell if someone smoked in their car and then loaded the body spray over top. My brother really doesn't get that when he sprays air freshener everywhere, that now he just smells like pot _and_ air freshener.


I smoke cigars...about twice a week, and I always bathe profusely afterwards. It doesn't work. :laugh: That damn cigar smell permeates everything.


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## Faithful Wife

lucy999 said:


> Has this been answered?? My all time fave show Arrested Development! Tobias Funke.
> .


Yes, Ellis beat you to it....but I'm still happy to hear you loved that show. Great minds.


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## wild jade

sixty-eight said:


> i agree with this as well.
> 
> i like subtle scents, like fabric softener or soap/body wash, but if i can smell you from any sort of distance, it can have an adverse effect. It hurts my eyes and forces me to be a mouth breather. Sometimes someone has loaded it on so much that you can almost taste it.
> 
> I really dislike it if it's clearly supposed to be covering a bad/not ideal smell, and not doing a great job. like smoking. I can tell if someone smoked in their car and then loaded the body spray over top. My brother really doesn't get that when he sprays air freshener everywhere, that now he just smells like pot _and_ air freshener.


That's the worst when you can taste it! Yuck.

I don't care for fabric softener either, or scented laundry detergent. I do like the more subtle scents of spices, of flowers, and of other things like amber and sandalwood. But most colognes, air fresheners, detergent scents smell like a women's washroom to me. Solvents and chems. Blech.


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## wild jade

bandit.45 said:


> I smoke cigars...about twice a week, and I always bathe profusely afterwards. It doesn't work. :laugh: That damn cigar smell permeates everything.


I much prefer the scent of cigars to that of cologne or aftershave. I'm probably the only woman in the world who would say that though.


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## sixty-eight

bandit.45 said:


> I smoke cigars...about twice a week, and I always bathe profusely afterwards. It doesn't work. :laugh: That damn cigar smell permeates everything.





wild jade said:


> I much prefer the scent of cigars to that of cologne or aftershave. I'm probably the only woman in the world who would say that though.


no, me too. But i'm picky. I only like the smell in the air, or when you can smell it on a person. 

stale smoke smell inside a house or a car is awful.


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## MrsHolland

Love aftershave, my go to fave is Paco Rabanne. MrH is a white collar man so suit and tie 5 days a week. As if that is tough enough to resist in the morning then when the aftershave goes on I want to jump him. Or the mornings he is leaving me to have a sleep in and he comes in to kiss me good bye, I just want to grab his tie and pull him back into the bed. 

Naked cuddling, well I guess it is every night for us as we always sleep naked.


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## memyselfandi

MrsAldi said:


> 1. Abusive Behaviours
> 2. Lack of Respect (people or animals) If you don't like cats, you're not for me!
> 3. Arrogance
> 4. Narcissistic
> 5. No sense of humour
> 6. Takes life too seriously
> 7. Lack of Physical Affection (I need it, it's my love oxygen!)
> 8. Insecurity
> 9. Controlling
> 10. Inability to understand the opinion of others
> 
> 
> Your list is almost identical to mine.
> 
> What the previous poster refused to understand is #10. The Inability to understand the opinion of others..is that it means that (IMO), he always has to be Mr. Right. Mr. Know it All.
> 
> I don't know what there isn't to get about this. Who wants to be with a guy that always thinks he's right?? In a conversation, he's got all the answers.
> 
> Major turnoff..along with all the above!! On the flip side, if a guy I dated made bad comments about my dog, he'd be history. Love me..love my dog!!
> 
> One more..if my dog doesn't like him..that's an easy clue. My dog loves my hubby to pieces!! He loves dogs almost as much as I do, so no worries there. He once climbed into a mucky dirty ditch and was up to his knees in mud, just to save a dog that couldn't climb out. To me, that made him a keeper!!


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## EllisRedding

memyselfandi said:


> Major turnoff..along with all the above!! On the flip side, if a guy I dated made bad comments about my dog, he'd be history. Love me..love my dog!!
> 
> One more..if my dog doesn't like him..that's an easy clue. My dog loves my hubby to pieces!! He loves dogs almost as much as I do, so no worries there. He once climbed into a mucky dirty ditch and was up to his knees in mud, just to save a dog that couldn't climb out. To me, that made him a keeper!!


Let's be honest, the above is really the only thing that matters.


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## sixty-eight

wild jade said:


> That's the worst when you can taste it! Yuck.
> 
> I don't care for fabric softener either, or scented laundry detergent. I do like the more subtle scents of spices, of flowers, and of other things like amber and sandalwood. But most colognes, air fresheners, detergent scents smell like a women's washroom to me. Solvents and chems. Blech.


I probably should have mentioned that I usually make my own detergents/soaps/softener (scented with essential oils) or try to buy naturally scented things. My kids have sensitive skin, and all the chemical scents and dyes started giving everyone a rash. I also enjoy burning (naturally scented) candles or using our essential oil diffuser.

I really dislike scents that are "supposed" to smell like something and almost never do. Like fake watermelon smell, smells nothing to me like an actual piece of watermelon would, not even close. The perfume counter at the department store with it's many clashing chemical smells is not a fun place, in my opinion. I'm not sure if the "man" scented things are better or worse. Just labeled "sport" or "fresh" instead of pretending it smells like apple/cotton candy/glitter. cringe.

I respect that other people really like those smells, and that usually it only bothers me. If i happen to be seriously dating someone who overuses it, i might try to tactfully say something, but usually i just let it go. everyone has their own preferences. :smile2:


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## EllisRedding

Speaking about smells, when I was a kid we were at one of the big department stores. I decided it would be a good idea to go sniff every perfume/cologne on display. Afterwards I proceeded to get ill and vomit lol. Since then I am very sensitive to any sort of strong/overpowering fragrance. All that chemical to my brain at such a young age could also explain some of my posts here :grin2:


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## tropicalbeachiwish

EllisRedding said:


> Speaking about smells, when I was a kid we were at one of the big department stores. I decided it would be a good idea to go sniff every perfume/cologne on display. Afterwards I proceeded to get ill and vomit lol. Since then I am very sensitive to any sort of strong/overpowering fragrance. All that chemical to my brain at such a young age could also explain some of my posts here :grin2:


:rofl:

Well, there you go!


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## notmyrealname4

memyselfandi said:


> One more..if my dog doesn't like him..that's an easy clue. My dog loves my hubby to pieces!! He loves dogs almost as much as I do, so no worries there.* He once climbed into a mucky dirty ditch and was up to his knees in mud, just to save a dog that couldn't climb out. To me, that made him a keeper!!*



Yes, absolutely.

Whenever I see a commercial for the HSUS or the ASPCA and it shows a clip of a man rescuing dogs from a pupply mill, (or some such misery)----without thinking, the words, "now that's a *real* man", go through my head.


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## bandit.45

notmyrealname4 said:


> Yes, absolutely.
> 
> Whenever I see a commercial for the HSUS or the ASPCA and it shows a clip of a man rescuing dogs from a pupply mill, (or some such misery)----without thinking, the words, "now that's a *real* man", go through my head.




Hey I have a manly man story...

I rescued a redtail hawk from a golf course water hazard once . The ponds at this particular course are stocked with lake trout. He somehow thought he would try to be an eagle and so he swooped down on a trout but didn't negotiate the weight to lift ratio correctly and he ended up taking a nosedive into the drink. 

Ever see a hawk treading water on the surface of a pond? Pitiful. 

I had just made a brilliant putt for par and looked over and saw what happened. The hawk was flapping around and trying to get up on to the embankment but the pond was lined with vertical logs around the perimeter and he couldn't raise up high enough out of the water to get onto dry ground. So... I walked over, took my expensive Polo golf shirt off, and threw my shirt over his head to keep him calm. I reached under him and pulled him out of the water and took him over to a patch of rough where he could dry off. He did and eventually flew off. 

I wrung out my shirt...put it back on and smelled like wet mold for the remainder of the game. But I felt pretty proud of myself I must say. My golfing buddy, who usually goes out of his way to find ways to insult me, was actually complimentary to me for once.


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## heartsbeating

Itemizing bills - granted it's rare to experience this. Just split evenly, whatever (with friends not dating, I'm married obviously). 

This extends further to how I feel about hospitality and consideration in general.


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## *Deidre*

Men who make generalized statements about women ''Women shouldn't be working outside the home.'' ''All women are manipulative.'' ''All women want a guy with money.''

I'm engaged to a great guy, but my advice to anyone who is dating and runs across this type of guy...run for the hills 

Men who chronically complain about their exes or women in general...also...RUN for the hills.


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## heartsbeating

With scent being discussed, smoking cigarettes would be a turn off. Strangely I don't mind cigars so much - smoked outside. Although I'm likely to partake too. Last time was a few months ago, friends brought a couple cigars for sharing with hubs outside. And hubs shared his with me. He enjoys a cigar once in a blue moon. 

We have dogs but even I don't like when there's a strong smell of dog in hubs' car. Sure dogs are part of the package and I love 'em to bits but I do appreciate when he gets his car date-ready to take me out in when that's needed. I love cologne and perfume as well as essential oils - they are in the vaporizer at home daily.


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## moth-into-flame

spinsterdurga said:


> I see .
> 
> 
> 
> He needs to be able to get an erection and not act on it.


That's hard.


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## moth-into-flame

Hope1964 said:


> He MUST like football and beer. And sex.
> Other things that aren't as important:
> Men should not:
> - avoid eye contact
> - flit from one topic to another
> - lack chest hair
> - take better care of their car than their house
> - think women have to wear make up to be attractive
> - mind floppy boobs
> - ignore my kids
> - have no inclination to earn money
> - think everyone's out to GET them


I don't think lacking chest hair is a personality flaw.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

bandit.45 said:


> Hey I have a manly man story...
> 
> I rescued a redtail hawk from a golf course water hazard once . The ponds at this particular course are stocked with lake trout. He somehow thought he would try to be an eagle and so he swooped down on a trout but didn't negotiate the weight to lift ratio correctly and he ended up taking a nosedive into the drink.
> 
> Ever see a hawk treading water on the surface of a pond? Pitiful.
> 
> I had just made a brilliant putt for par and looked over and saw what happened. The hawk was flapping around and trying to get up on to the embankment but the pond was lined with vertical logs around the perimeter and he couldn't raise up high enough out of the water to get onto dry ground. So... I walked over, took my expensive Polo golf shirt off, and threw my shirt over his head to keep him calm. I reached under him and pulled him out of the water and took him over to a patch of rough where he could dry off. He did and eventually flew off.
> 
> I wrung out my shirt...put it back on and smelled like wet mold for the remainder of the game. But I felt pretty proud of myself I must say. My golfing buddy, who usually goes out of his way to find ways to insult me, was actually complimentary to me for once.


That's so sweet! 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## MrsAldi

moth-into-flame said:


> I don't think lacking chest hair is a personality flaw.


I have a weird attraction to guys with nice arm hair! 
Like to run my fingers along my husband's arms when he cuddles me. 










Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## becareful2

Can anyone fill me in on why the OP got banned?


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## farsidejunky

User requested a permanent ban. I urged her to take 48 hours to reconsider. Her mind did not change, so I accommodated her request. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## tropicalbeachiwish

MrsAldi said:


> I have a weird attraction to guys with nice arm hair!
> Like to run my fingers along my husband's arms when he cuddles me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


Yummy. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## Hope1964

moth-into-flame said:


> I don't think lacking chest hair is a personality flaw.


It is if they shave it off.


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## Cosmos

Lack of integrity
Lack of ambition
Lack of personal morals
Disloyal
Immaturity
Selfishness
Greediness
Laziness 
Pessimism
Poor work ethic
Financially irresponsible
Low self-esteem / confidence


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## MEM2020

Totally a cross gender home run. 




bandit.45 said:


> Hey I have a manly man story...
> 
> I rescued a redtail hawk from a golf course water hazard once . The ponds at this particular course are stocked with lake trout. He somehow thought he would try to be an eagle and so he swooped down on a trout but didn't negotiate the weight to lift ratio correctly and he ended up taking a nosedive into the drink.
> 
> Ever see a hawk treading water on the surface of a pond? Pitiful.
> 
> I had just made a brilliant putt for par and looked over and saw what happened. The hawk was flapping around and trying to get up on to the embankment but the pond was lined with vertical logs around the perimeter and he couldn't raise up high enough out of the water to get onto dry ground. So... I walked over, took my expensive Polo golf shirt off, and threw my shirt over his head to keep him calm. I reached under him and pulled him out of the water and took him over to a patch of rough where he could dry off. He did and eventually flew off.
> 
> I wrung out my shirt...put it back on and smelled like wet mold for the remainder of the game. But I felt pretty proud of myself I must say. My golfing buddy, who usually goes out of his way to find ways to insult me, was actually complimentary to me for once.


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## Dulsura

An explosive behaviour, the show offs, the liars, selfishness

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