# What turns you on???



## imhereforadvice (Apr 11, 2011)

I'd like to initiate some new things in the bedroom with my husband, and was wondering what turns guys on. I obviously realize I will get different responses, but I'd like to hear some opinions, especially from the guys out there.

When you kiss a woman... what do you prefer she taste like? I know that question sounds silly, but I'm curious. Toothpaste? As in, she just brushed her teeth? Cinnamon (Big Red?)? Strawberries? Nothing at all? 

How do you prefer your wife's bikini area? Completely shaved? Natural? 

Oh, another weird question, do you prefer oral sex before actual sex? Sometimes I wonder if my husband gets weirded out about me giving him a blow job, and then kissing him on the mouth. I've never asked him, and he's never refused to kiss me, but do most guys think about that, or do they just want the blow job?  I like to use a lot of tongue, and my husband likes that, I just hope he doesn't mind french kissing me afterwards. Hmm... 

And lastly, I saw a post about this recently, but how many of you guys/ladies out there enjoy lingerie? I recently bought a garter belt, stockings, and a nice bra. I thought I'd try and wear it underneathe a dress, and then surprise him when I take off the dress, having not the usual underwear on  Or maybe wearing a short skirt so that you can see the stockings.

Any other ideas about turning a guy on? :scratchhead: 

I welcome and appreciate any advice from men or women.

Thank you!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

1) Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream
2) I like the completely shaved look just because it's easier to eat
3) yes
4) I dont get skeeved by a kiss post BJ unless she spits the semen back at me
5) love that idea and outfit, plaid skirt would be a bonus


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i dont care for a taste like something is trying to be covered up when kissing, as long as its not nasty i like it. dont even mind morning mouth.

bikini area? surprise me. i like it changed up from natural to shaved and all in between.

i like oral before, after or during. for both.

agree with ar on the skirt.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Walk up to him wear heels or boot , stockings, garters red lipstick and perfume and nothing else and he will turn into a drooling puppy dog.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

What turns me on? My wife naked.

Oh and no taste would be fine for kisses.
Trimmed down there is best. Love the look of both. But the occasional hair will get in the mouth when eating downtown if not trimmed a little.

Oral is good anytime and all the time.


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

What turns me on?
A woman in _heat_ who trusts me enough to allow that to show. I want a woman who is comfortable enough with me and her own sexuality to be primal.

Taste?  Never gave it much thought.

Bikini Area? Shaved

Oral before? 
Before, during and after please. No, my own bodily fluids do not freak me out.

Lingerie?
Fun sometimes. Your thought, however, of wearing it underneath clothes and surprising him would ABSOLUTELY work for me. I would interpret that as a woman who'd been anticipating making love to me. See above about what turns me on LOL.

In general, I think it's all about attitude. Clothing and the like is window dressing. It's fun but not really the important part. The important part for me is her being female to my male.


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## some_guy (Dec 29, 2011)

If you ever need to find another spouse, let me know...


What turns me on?
Just caring about these things would turn me on. Just ask him what turns him on and he will be, well, turned on.

Taste?
Just not bad breath. Strawberry sounds good though.

Bikini Area?
I prefer shaved.

Oral before?
Sure, whenever. If I think you are enjoying it, that really turns me on.

Lingerie?
Yes! Please!


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

Turn on: Playful joy during foreplay, passion & desire during intercourse
Taste: as long as it's not bad breath
Bikini area: don't care, all ways have their own beauty
Oral before: anytime is the right time 
Lingerie: Yes for special occasions, I have a soft spot for camisoles and lace on undergarments. I like the fabric to be soft to the touch.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> And OP...if you REALLY want to get your man going...I just ordered a stripper pole!! I'm totally serious. I'll give you the link if you want. I am so excited to learn how to do it!! Can't wait to see dh's face!


I might be odd, but I find the poles to be a turn off.

I've never seen one in person though so maybe I'm totally off base. 

But as shown on tv/movies... ugh I'll pass.

It just seems like it gets in the way of my touching my wife, and well... I like to touch not watch. Guess I'm a hands on sort of guy.


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## imhereforadvice (Apr 11, 2011)

Thank you so much for the responses, you guys! They really help! :smthumbup: 

It's been a while since my h and I have been intimate, and I figure it's my turn to initiate things. When I say a while... I mean about 7 months or so :scratchhead: ... as embaressed as I am to say that. Well, whatever - it's kind of been a choice of mine for the past 3-4 months. He's tried once or twice to initiate things, but that was after being distant for 5 months. 

We are sooo completely different when it comes to our sexual levels. I want to have sex all the time, it seems - and he rarely does. I'm bored with our sex life and I really want to spice things up.

:sleeping:


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

imhereforadvice said:


> Thank you so much for the responses, you guys! They really help! :smthumbup:
> 
> It's been a while since my h and I have been intimate, and I figure it's my turn to initiate things. When I say a while... I mean about 7 months or so :scratchhead: ... as embaressed as I am to say that. Well, whatever - it's kind of been a choice of mine for the past 3-4 months. He's tried once or twice to initiate things, but that was after being distant for 5 months.
> 
> ...


Good luck!


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Enthusiasm. And a willingness to try new things. Pretty much it. Keep it interesting. You can be the hottest woman in your area code, and if we're doing missionary every time and you're not into it, well, "this" won't last very long.

Be excited about your sex life with your S/O. Try new things outside of your comfort zone (not crazily outside of it, but enough to be exciting). Change things up all the time. 

Just as you ladies hate the "kiss on the lips, kiss on the neck, kiss the boobs....okay, she should be warmed up now, put it in" stuff after so many years and guys (so predictable on our [men's] part), we can grow bored as well. 

Grab my azz and control my speed. Dig your nails in my back. Surprise me by throwing me down on the couch and giving a bj or start fondling me when we're watching a movie. Surprise me by initiating. By saying "my god, I REALLY am horny, and I've been thinking about you going down on me all day". I don't think we're a great deal different from women. Show us you're interested, want it (us), throw something a little different at us (or be willing to accept something a little different from us) every now and then, and we're happy clams. Ecstatic actually. 

Interest, excitement, and stay out of "the rut". We're golden.


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## imhereforadvice (Apr 11, 2011)

Donny64, 

Love your ideas! I think I'll combine them with the plaid skirt idea from Almostrecovered 

It's funny that you mentioned not doing it in the standard missionary position, because I was somewhat curious about that. I myself like to get on top from time to time, but I never really knew if my husband preferred it or not. I suppose I could just ask him, but I guess sometimes I get nervous about being too dominating in the bedroom.

Do you, or any of you guys out there, prefer that? I can definetely try to make it a point to get on top more, if that is a turn-on for most guys. 

I'm glad to hear about the post-bj kissing, because that one was bugging me. To be honest, I know how much my H, and most guys, love BJ's, and knowing how much my H loves it makes me love doing it. If someone didn't really seem into it, I dont see why I'd even bother. But it actually turns me on quite a bit to give a BJ. 

I could also appreciate adding some more dirty talk. It sounds as though most of my problems in the bedroom are due to my own lack of self confidence. I worry that my dirty talk would become "too dirty" or weird my H out. He doesn't ever really talk dirty to me, and I really wish he would. Instead he makes me feel like a little girl - and I hate that. Hate hate hate it.  He also always askes me if we should go into the bedroom. STOP ASKING ME AND JUST TAKE ME THERE OR GET STARTED RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!! You know?!! Sorry. If I'm sitting on the couch bored out of my mind and you ask me this question that seems like everyday modern conversation, uhh, BORING! Put your hand down my pants, GEEZ!!! 

I personally would rather he initiate this, but I guess it's my turn. I used to LOVE initiating sex. I mean, LOVE IT. Now I just feel lonely, desperate, and almost forced. I guess all of the things you (donny) are mentioning to do to him, i wish he'd do to me. Too many times have I been the one to randomly throw him on the couch and initiate things. 

I guess I wouldnt mind being desired a bit myself, having someone grab MY ass, and dig their nails into my back, throw me on the couch and go down on ME. You know? But I guess I can't be so selfish...or maybe my expectations are just unrealistic. My H just isn't like that, and he never really has been, I guess. But at least I'm trying here. I can't say the same for him. 

Last questions....

Guys, do you prefer your lady to dominate you and be on top, or be the quiet type who remains in the missionary position? I think i already know the answer to this one, but I'm curious. 

How many of u agree with Donny about the nails in the back, ass grabbing intiation? Because I think it sounds great :smthumbup:

Also, do you guys like foreplay and when women take their time with you before having sex? IE: Maybe a little dance, strip tease, foreplay, buildup - THEN sex? Sometimes I could use a bit more foreplay. 

And lastly, specifics on giving a BJ, do guys like it when you cup or lick their "boys" too? I dont think I do that very often, but if it's something that's a real turn on I wouldnt mind including it. Hmm, just curious. I use a lot of tongue, I hope guys like that. How about teeth? Do you like it when your lady lightly drags her teeth against you, or does that tickle or hurt too much? I wouldnt mind perfecting my BJ


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I can tell you that when my ex wife dressed up in stockings, garter, sexy panties that really did the thing for me. I like your idea of wearing it under a dress, or a short skirt.

Kissing wise, I loved having make out sessions with tongue involved, whether she tasted like toothpaste, gum didn't matter to me.

Another thing I always wanted would be sexy text messages from my ex.

Hope this helps
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I must be part Ferengi. My ears are erogenous. Touch my ears I will climax and then kill for you.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> I must be part Ferengi. My ears are erogenous. Touch my ears I will climax and then kill for you.


I guess you don't wear ear buds/phone to much.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

ATTITUDE! ATTITUDE!ATTITUDE!

and you seem to have a great one just by comming here and asking indicates so!

when she is so firied up and horny that she is soaking wet before we start. HOT


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

imhereforadvice said:


> Thank you so much for the responses, you guys! They really help! :smthumbup:
> 
> It's been a while since my h and I have been intimate, and I figure it's my turn to initiate things. When I say a while... I mean about 7 months or so :scratchhead: ... as embaressed as I am to say that. Well, whatever - it's kind of been a choice of mine for the past 3-4 months. He's tried once or twice to initiate things, but that was after being distant for 5 months.
> 
> ...


Well I certainly wish you the best with an LD husband.. I have tried everything under the sun that I can think of to get my LD wife to loosen up... nothing ever worked! 
Hope yours goes better.


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## Johnnyboy (Apr 2, 2012)

Hi, I've discovered through trial 'n error that what I actually like is just about anything my horny female partner wants. So if the gal gets me to do something or wear something, or what ever and she gets turned on by it, I become aroused too. Earlier in life I associated me getting horny with the 'something' a gal wanted but now I believe it was the gal getting excited that was the real turn on for me.

I made the mistake of doing something (I'm not sure it would be okay to mention the explicit act here) in front of a new girlfriend that my previous girlfriend had liked. My new girlfriend flipped out and I was so embarrassed. So really, it's not the act or item but the play between lovers that's the big turn on.

jb


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

imhereforadvice said:


> Guys, do you prefer your lady to dominate you and be on top, or be the quiet type who remains in the missionary position? I think i already know the answer to this one, but I'm curious.


I'm a woman but wanted to chime in. I hope it gives you something to consider.

I don't relate being on top as dominant. For the most part, I think dominance is more about intention/role play than an actual position. My H and I both favor him being the dominant. This can vary with his ability (and decision) to move me into various positions during sex; to role-playing whereby we're sharing a fantasy where I'm submissive. He 'reads' me well in doing this. We both like me being on top, he enjoys reverse cowgirl too, depending on the mood of our interaction. But even with me on top and facing him, he is still dominant. He can still control the rhythm, or by moving his knees/legs, encourage me to lean forward and be close to him or to lean back etc.... as well as including other factors that make up a dominant/submissive interaction.

Are you able to talk with him about what he likes? Are you able to experiment together? 

Even though I knew this was our dynamic, I flipped the script on him one night during our sexual dialogue. I said one sentence to tell him that I was actually the one in control *cue crickets* .....afterwards he started gently laughing "What was that about?" and I bust out laughing too "I was trying something different!" And we were giggling together as I recapped seeing his expression change and how it felt like the moment had gone into slow motion and the words were out there just lingering lol. Experiment..! But know it's okay to laugh at yourself. Trial and error  Switching things up can certainly inspire one another though. He slowly scratched his nails down my back recently and it was so damn hot. Perhaps mostly because it was unexpected. 

You asked about foreplay. My husband is a fan of teasing and subtlety. I'd lost this approach along the way and became too obvious. He's told me I don't need to try that way. Some of the sexiest things to him are simply being myself ....just wearing a t-shirt and undies, no make up. In saying this, I also think switching things up is good. The other night I decided to wear a top to bed that I'd been wearing during the day. It's a sheer undershirt. Beneath clothes it prevents my outfit being see-through but just worn by itself is a different matter. Anyway, he hadn't seen this top before and his eyes lit up when he saw me wearing this to bed. He's used to me wearing makeup nearly every day, so he likes seeing the more relaxed and natural side to me. Granted, sometimes while wearing high heels lol.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

imhereforadvice said:


> Too many times have I been the one to randomly throw him on the couch and initiate things.
> 
> I guess I wouldnt mind being desired a bit myself, having someone grab MY ass, and dig their nails into my back, throw me on the couch and go down on ME. You know? But I guess I can't be so selfish...or maybe my expectations are just unrealistic. My H just isn't like that, and he never really has been, I guess. But at least I'm trying here. I can't say the same for him.


I have a tendency to think about threads after I've posted. I came back with more thoughts.

Does he like you being assertive? And is there a chance that your sexual needs have changed - to wanting something that he isn't right now? Does he need gentle encouragement? Maybe he needs to feel trust and secure with you, to know that his approach will be appreciated and enjoyed?

Despite all of this speculation .....how are other things in your relationship? Be sure to address the emotional side, that each others needs are being met outside the bedroom, to help ensure each others needs are being met inside the bedroom and vice verse or something like that


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

sometimes I like to be assertive and take control

sometimes I like to be pinned to the bed and taken hard

it really depends on my mood!


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## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

It's really quite simple for most men

Just tell us what you want, we are not mind readers, tell us what you like best don't leave us to guess, everything else is down to preference


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Thinking about him turns me on.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Something hit is to have the woman start out in the session as dominant and controlling, but over time get do lost in the lust of the moment that she ends up surrendering herself to the please and turns submissive.

Gives the guy a major turn on and ego boost knowing he turned her like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Dolly I think I need to book a flight to London and take you out on a date. I'm 6ft 1 inch, 225lbs, blue eyes, brown hair, goatee, with an amazing smile. Oh when I hug you, you will feel safe!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Unhappy2011 said:


> I love a woman in a dress and heels.


and glasses and hair pulled on top of her head


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> @Dolly I think I need to book a flight to London and take you out on a date. I'm 6ft 1 inch, 225lbs, blue eyes, brown hair, goatee, with an amazing smile. Oh when I hug you, you will feel safe!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


DAMMIT!

EVERYBODY wants dolly


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

is this to do with the pokey bum blow job?????


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Dolly,
For me it's the accent, women with accents DRIVE ME CRAZY


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

oh well I've definitely got one of those! well, to you I have ha ha


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Dollystanford said:


> is this to do with the pokey bum blow job?????


The what?


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

clearly you need to take a trip to the blow job thread....


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Dolly talk dirty to us in your accent
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Dollystanford said:


> clearly you need to take a trip to the blow job thread....


Don't have to tell me twice!!!


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

imhereforadvice said:


> .....Any other ideas about turning a guy on? :scratchhead:.....


Do this and he won't be able to resist you...

Romance him (and yourself) by creating an ambiance:

Fragrant flowers everywhere
Candles and fireplace lit
Something delicious and aromatic on the stove
Red wine and dark beer (red and dark are sensuous to me but go with whatever you like)
Music you both love

Then...

Greet him in nothing but a pair of sky high stilettos (with your hair down if you have long hair).

And say something provocative... 

Try it...he'll love it! 

I'm a clothes-horse so I have a fair amount of pretty lingerie and erotic ensembles but the men I've known have always preferred nothing but high heels. 

Good luck and have fun!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You could recite the instructions for disassembling a garbage disposal in French, it would still be hot.


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> You could recite the instructions for disassembling a garbage disposal in French, it would still be hot.


LOL

Yes, hot, very!

French has magical effect on me...

You might enjoy "Je t'aime... mon nun plus" by Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg. 

Edit: It's a bit dated and "cheesy?" but sweet in a French way - nonetheless.


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## imhereforadvice (Apr 11, 2011)

Thanks everybody! Love the suggestions! :smthumbup:


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> is this to do with the pokey bum blow job?????


i know thats mah reason


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## runningman1 (May 7, 2012)

Personally if my wife were to wear stockings and 5 inch black patent shoes in the bedroom I would probably explode !!

But never been that lucky despite repeated requests.


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## Helpme1 (Apr 24, 2012)

What turns me on is my wifes scent / taste. Once while driving home she touched herself and put her finger to my lips. Needless to say we never made it all the way home. Variety is always good. Sometimes shaven sometimes natural. Kissing post bj isnt a huge deal. I wish she would kiss me post cunnliness. I prefer my wife naked or pantyless.


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## estherdim (Nov 8, 2010)

The truth is that men could be different on what turns them on, In my own case with my husband. What turns him on whenever we are together is the time we have our bath together, he enjoy it a lot. 
Bikini Area, he loves it when there is a little hair on it that he can touch and feel anytime that we are together.
In fact we kiss almost everytime and he always enjoy it.


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

My H loves the taste of my lipgloss. Like he really likes it. 

He does get funny about me giving oral then trying to kiss him. I love pleasing him that way it is a huge turn on for me but i know the risk im taking of not getting kissed after doing it. So what i have tried is when he is in the shower and i want to give him good head... As he is getting outta the shower i brush my teeth with a strong minty toothpaste. before he drys off and dresses. I push him on the bed and have my way with him. I love love love the reaction i get!  The reason i brush my teeth is because is because of the heat of the shower and the tingling sensation from the mint in your mouth is intensefied to the extreme for him. If you really enjoy giving oral. I like to clean up the mess i made after we have sex. I get all the kisses i want and i still please him in the process. :smthumbup: 

every guy is different about the bikini area. I like mine shave. try new things taking off more and more hair and see if he seems to care or notice. 

The only time i wear stockings and sexy undergarments are under a dress or outfit he finds sexy and after a date or night out i always ask him to help undress me. Like unbuckle my heels and unzip my dress. It always gets him going. 

As for turning him on... after we put the kids down. sometimes not all the time ill crawl in his lap and have a talk about our days... which leads to be building him up about how much i love and appreciate him. which leads to kissing and a lap dance... going from there. Joining him for showers is fun. I think that is all i have for now.


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## MrsKy (May 5, 2012)

Perhaps your husband needs to have his testosterone levels tested. Just a thought.

Have you tried asking your hubby what turns him on? Everyone is different as you can see from the responses to your questions.


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