# not even married quite a year yet...



## justme86 (Dec 3, 2010)

...and my husband is driving me crazy. he is incredibly jealous, if i even just talk to another guy, i'm "cheating" on him, i can't take it. he has anger issues. when he gets angry, he flips the couch over or slams the door, he hit my car w/ someone else's when he was angry one time. this last time he threw a heavy bag against the refrigator, and then kicked his foot against the door, after he promised me he'd gotten it under control. he's pissed b/c i was looking at some guy's profile on facebook (how effin stupid is that??) and now acting like i "cheated" on him. that's why he threw the bag against the refigrator. he was going out of town for a week, and he told me that he wasn't even going to take his cell phone with him! what am i supposed to do, just wait around for a week with no contact from him while he's out of town? we have other issues too, but this is just one thing. i don't know what to do when i got angry he told me he's never been more miserable in his life, that he wants to die and that "i don't have to go to the funeral so don't worry" i just don't know what to do, i'm at the end of a rope here. i'm scared for him as well, i don't want him to do that. he made me cry when he said that. i just don't know what to do anymore...


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

and did you just find out about his temper and jealousy? have you cheated on him before?


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## justme86 (Dec 3, 2010)

i didn't find out about his temper and mood problem until we lived together, after we got married, and NO i have not cheated on him or given him any reason to think i am doing so.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

How long did you guys date before you got married? Did you ever have any indication at all that he was jealous and possessive? Did he ever get even mildly angry over something insignificant? 

I'm really not sure what to tell you to do here. I agree that he's unreasonable in his definition of cheating, but it does sound like there has to be some underlying reason for it. It sounds like someone in the past has cheated on him and it's caused him to have massive trust issues. If that's the case, counseling might help him, if he's open to it. 

Other than that, I'm really not sure what to tell you. But I do hope it all works out for you.


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## justme86 (Dec 3, 2010)

His mother used to cheat on his father, and i honestly think that's where he gets his insecurities from. but i'm not his mother, and i don't want to be punished for her decisions. his violent outburst are too much, too. and no, we didn't date too long before we got married, it was a long distance relationship as well so, yeah. i also found out he left his wedding ring here, which i'm more pissed about. i think he's made his choice...


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## HM3 (Aug 18, 2010)

His issues with his parents need to be sorted out. Like you said, you are not his mother. He needs to clear this up own his own.

The angry outbursts and violence are the scary things. All the things you've described are typical abusive behaviours - kicking things, throwing things, abandonment. Please read Lundy Bancroft's book - Why does he do that? In the minds of angry and controlling men. See if you see the signs.

Take care.


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