# "Formerly" abusive husband wants to kiss and make up.



## funnyhaha (Dec 1, 2012)

I have been married for seven years, in those seven years there has been incidents of abuse. This year along there has been two physical incidents and numerous verbal situations. All this has led to my lack of physical attraction(naturally) to him, my love, my desire, all of it is gone. I have nothing but disgust for him and can't stand to be around him any longer than necessary.

I am currently finishing up school and want to decide to move on. I cheated on him over a year ago and it kept on on and off and the last time I cheated was July. He found out about it and he has been upset about it(though he has cheated on me  ) it is just a disaster and I am so sick of him.

There are children involved(2 sons) and this is where I guess I second guess myself. I do not want anything further to do with him, but am I truly justified in my decision to be completely done and not give him another chance to change? I feel like he has had more than enough chances and if I were already done with college he would be my ex-husband by now. Anyone had similar experiences?

Thanks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How much longer do you have before you are done with school?

What happened in the physical abuse incidents? Just so that we get an idea of the level of the problem. 

Where they in response to him finding out that you were cheating?

Your marriage sounds topic. He's abusive. And both of you are cheaters. It sounds like separating and sharing custody of your sons would be the best bet. How old are your sons?


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## funnyhaha (Dec 1, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How much longer do you have before you are done with school?
> 
> What happened in the physical abuse incidents? Just so that we get an idea of the level of the problem.
> 
> ...



The incidents of abuse go back way before I ever cheated, but to keep it recent I figured I would talk about this year, both incidents which were not because of cheating, just him getting mad.. There has been times where he has slapped me, he has spit on me before, grabbing, pushing.

One incident I pressed charges, he went to jail and had to take classes. 

Sons are 6 & 3.

Unfortunately I have another year of school left, prior to getting to the program I was accepted into for college I looked for ways to leave now and none of those worked.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What ways did you look to leave now?

Have you spoken to an attorney? Depending on where you live you might get child support and rehabilitative spousal support. Plus you would very likely qualify for a lot of student aid. There are also federal work study jobs.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

He's abusive, you're cheating, you are disgusted by him...you should start getting a plan in motion to leave this man for both of your sakes and especially for your kids. A broken home is better than one full if battering and abuse. Besides, it's divorce is not stigmatized as much and your kids will adjust. Hopefully, they'll have time with you both and it will be better this way for all involved.


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