# Need some advice



## troubledhubby (Jan 28, 2009)

Let me lay out my problem...

I have been married for almost 6 years now and have two wonderful kids with my great wife. I was recently contacted by an old flame I haven't talked to in 12 years. My heart jumped and I realized I still have strong feelings for her and she seems to feel the same about me. 

I'm not even pondering an affair (old flame lives about 1900 miles away). My concern is how bad these feelings have turned me upside down inside. We are going to be back in that area in May and I fear wanting to see her or her wanting to see me.

Anyone else faced this or have any advice?


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

Think back to the day before you got the message. How much did you think or feel about this person?

How much contact have the two of you had?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Tell your wife. I'm guessing it isn't so much about feelings for the 'old flame' as it is about the dynamic of your marriage becoming diminished and mundane. Tell the wife - and frame it that you are telling her because *she* is the one you love. Tell your wife that you would much rather put your energy and emotion into loving her, and feeling loved by her, and you take away the power of the feelings turning you inside out. 

That is the response from my light side ... now onto the dark ...

Still tell your wife. And if she flips out and is unreasonable about the fact that you wanted to open up to her about _your_ feelings - then you can blame her and pursue the old flame.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

She's an old flame = You are playing with fire. Do the smart thing and end all contact before it is too difficlt. 1900 miles will not stop an emotional affair that could ruin your marriage.


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