# guy and his phone



## pirouline (Jan 23, 2011)

If a husband does not let u near his phone..would that be suspicion for infidelity? or this just him wanting his privacy and space...?


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Lol yep, there's something he doesn't want you to see. The only privacy in a marriage is when he's on the toilet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pirouline (Jan 23, 2011)

speaking of the toilet, he is in there A LOT. with his phone.  I already know what to do, but i'm scared to do it. I just wnat proof first before i go do something stupid. We've been fighting about that stupid phone for 3 years now. gaaahh!!! He won't let me use it to call anyone, we were in the middle of an argument and i grabbed his phone..and he took it back and threw it to ground where it broke. 
I already told him if he's so fudgin unhappy then we should just divorce..and he's just all stoic..and ... just not responding to any kind of communicating whatsoever.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I would be very suspicious. 

If a man doesn't have anything to hide, he will have no problem letting you check his phone. 

And going to the bathroom a lot means he is sending text messages that he doesn't want you to know.

Breaking his phone tells me that his phone has something he doesn't want you to read. 

You are in a tough situation!


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Sbrown said:


> Lol yep, there's something he doesn't want you to see. The only privacy in a marriage is when he's on the toilet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think people should have the ability to have more privacy than that. People need some of their own space at times. No matter how much you love someone you still need to have some things that are your own. As protective as this guy is of his phone there probably is something he is hiding.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

I have tons of things that are "my own" but that rarely includes secrets from my wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

The OP's husbands actions do sound suspicious to me but as a general rule I think we should all be allowed some privacy unless we have shown we are not to be trusted.

N.B. I know people who will take a book or newspaper into the cubicle and sit there for half an hour reading it. Never appealed to me.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Whilst there is a "privacy" point in all relationships. I belive (just my opinion) that when you committe to a person especially through the vows of marridge (or civil partnership - got to be seen to be politically corrrect) that once I sign that licence it means as the phrase goes "we two are one". Therefore everything is up both parties to see and know with full transparency.

When someone becomes very protective of their phone, ipad, laptop or work station and clearly is blocking the partner from seeing whats on there then I hear warning bells and see red flags being raised over the yardarm.

You need to look at the phone bills without his knowledge. Here you can look to see where and to whom the calls and texts are going to. Web based transmissions are difficult to monitor. However, there are applications out there that can help, but, you have to get at the phone to be able to install these. 

You could now even consider using a VAR in the bathroom incase voice calls are made. Its not a nice place to have to record for obvious reasons but you are clearly very alert to something not being quite right.

In all cases if you your gut tells you something is not right you have no option but to listen to those feelings and act on them. Monitor, record what you find, keep your own council and look for things that are unusual. There is an old saying "give them enough rope and they WILL hang themselves".


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

He' either spanking it to porn on his phone in the toilet or 
Most likely, texting / messaging some other woman.

Have you ever noticed anything else remotely suspicious?


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I would say that the issue of access to each other's cell phones is one of those that varies widely between couples. However, whatever those boundaries may be, if he would rather *break his phone* than have you see it....that is DEFINITELY a big red flag.


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## pirouline (Jan 23, 2011)

I cant track his phone bill because his phone is from work.


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## pirouline (Jan 23, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> He' either spanking it to porn on his phone in the toilet or
> Most likely, texting / messaging some other woman.
> 
> Have you ever noticed anything else remotely suspicious?


He has now changed his setting so i don't know the location from which he text from.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'll give you a alternative option  is he a control freak? Like has he always been a control freak? 

I'm quasi OCD as my wife says in many behaviors like grocery shopping, people in or driving my car, people in my garage, people with my phone, computer, or going through my toiletries.

I've also been like that for 20 years, and it's that I would give my wife my phone I would, my point is it's always by me, as is my wallet too. 

My question is if he has always been like this that may be a false alarm if this is new behavior then that might be different.


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## pirouline (Jan 23, 2011)

OhGeesh said:


> I'll give you a alternative option  is he a control freak? Like has he always been a control freak?
> 
> I'm quasi OCD as my wife says in many behaviors like grocery shopping, people in or driving my car, people in my garage, people with my phone, computer, or going through my toiletries.
> 
> ...


NO, i used to be able to just grab his phone when i need to look at the time or just browse through it. Sometimes he'll give me his phone when we are driving somewhere so i can navigate....

*sigh* 

i dont understand the secrecy...why keep me around if he wants to do stuff i'm not supposed to know about ?? i keep asking him that question...and he just looks at me wierd and say "what?" 
guess maybe he's just doing that to drive me crazy so i'd leave him....and it won't be his fault...i can't communicate with him...in any way, shape or form...i get a lot of "i don't know" and one word answers. i ask about his day..he says "fine" I ask "what happened at work today" he says "work." I ask him about a possible career move i want to make, he says "oh yeah? what ever u want to do." just sort of robotic...no life...and ..


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

pirouline said:


> NO, i used to be able to just grab his phone when i need to look at the time or just browse through it. Sometimes he'll give me his phone when we are driving somewhere so i can navigate....
> 
> *sigh*
> 
> ...


I don't understand the dynamics of your relationship.
Doesn't seem healthy at all.
You need to have a serious talk with him.
If he refuses to treat you with respect, then be prepared to make some life changing decisions.
You deserve better.


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## Claufjdia (Sep 26, 2013)

You are in a tough situation!


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