# Ex husband sending mixed messages



## really confused (Nov 5, 2013)

Hello everyone. I'm new here and am in need of some advice. My ex husband and I have stayed friends after our divorce. Recently, we both admitted that we still love each other, but we have our own issues that we need to take care of. He's had the worst childhood ever that's made him miserable and I can express my emotions enough to the point people think I'm just an unpleasant person.

Very recently, we started having sex again, with the agreement that that's all it was, just a release and to have fun. I'm keeping my part of the agreement, I don't get clingy and act like a girlfriend. However, he sometimes does. When we're sitting on his couch watching tv, he'll cuddle. He's always so concerned about me. When we say goodnight, he hugs and kisses me like we're a couple.

I've talked to him and he keeps insisting that he's so miserable and I deserve much better. I just don't understand him. He knows I would get back together with him if he wanted, but I'm keeping my distance to be on the safe side.

Can anyone give me a clue to what might be going on in his mind?


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

really confused said:


> Hello everyone. I'm new here and am in need of some advice. My ex husband and I have stayed friends after our divorce. Recently, we both admitted that we still love each other, but we have our own issues that we need to take care of. He's had the worst childhood ever that's made him miserable and I can express my emotions enough to the point people think I'm just an unpleasant person.
> 
> Very recently, we started having sex again, with the agreement that that's all it was, just a release and to have fun. I'm keeping my part of the agreement, I don't get clingy and act like a girlfriend. However, he sometimes does. When we're sitting on his couch watching tv, he'll cuddle. He's always so concerned about me. When we say goodnight, he hugs and kisses me like we're a couple.
> 
> ...


Your ex loves you. He will cling to that love like a life preserver. Look into the "Anxious-Avoidant Trap". You said both of you are dealing with your issues. Do not do anything that distracts either of you from doing this work. Kindest Regards-


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My advice is to not sleep together until you both sort out what it is that you want and delve into what split you up in the first place.

Having sex isn't going to clear any of that up.


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