# The house has ruined us



## joyless (Oct 28, 2010)

My spouse and i over the past two years have not gotten along well at all. i can't pinpoint an exact start to it all but we are now about done. 

Some stress background, my spouses brother passed away at 2 yrs ago and her mother was pretty ill for about 6 months for , since been resolved. After those two events she was not feeling well (nothing defined)and has been a long road to find someone to help her figure out what appears to be GI problems. She is being attended to now. 

Anyways I had lost a favorite dog just before these events and mentioned getting a couple of dogs to breed one litter. Next thing you know she has accumulated 4 dogs at the house. Well obviously 4 dogs in a small home is alot of work. She recently rehomed her "fav dog" and still blames me for not rehoming one other. in the meanwhile she has gone on this bender fixing every room in the house at once and yet none are completed and we have basically rebuilt the living space to be undog friendly as in not to be damaged by dogs so restricted. So she brings them home for me, decides they are too much , wants them out or wants us to spend 20k to build out our porch as an all season room for them when we just took 40k out to fix stuff in the house 2 yrs ago(that is not done).

We are not getting along great and the money would be coming out of 401k to do the porch and i am not thinking this is the best idea but i can not believe she wants the porch done or the dogs gone.

She says since she is not well its obvious i do not love her enough or i would have resolved the dog problem so she would not be stressed that contributes to her illness. She is tired of having to fix the dog damage and clean. i am in debelief that she has brought these animals home and thinks you just give them away. I also tried to rehome one at one point to a select few people i knew without sucess yet she likes to think i only asked one person. UGH, never can get my say without it getting twisted. 

Furthermore we have not had sex for 5 years and i don;t forsee it again, initially blamed on menopause and now ill health. I feel very sad thinnking i may never know intimacy again and we are certainly not feeling it emotionally. 

THe whole focus on the house has brought up how different we are as i care about my home but i do not want to spend every earned dollar on it at the sacrifice of an occasional vacation or never having time for friends because for two yrs i have been working on it most weekends. THe only vacation we ever do now is to visit her daughter from a previous marriage, never just a vacation somswhere new for us. family visits are not vacations.

anyways just some thoughts and please ask q's, it takes two i know.


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