# Betrayed by the two most important men in my life...What should I do?



## brknhrt (Feb 17, 2012)

I will try to keep this as short as possible if I can. I have been lurking on this forum for a few months now because I suspected my husband was being unfaithful to me. We have been married for a few years now and we have 2 beautiful daughters together. He started acting strange a couple months ago by not wanting to have sex with me and wanting to be alone a lot more. I thought he was cheating on me so I have been monitoring his email and phone and he has not called anyone out of the ordinary. I have never been that close to my parents but my husband has always been closer to them and they seemed to like him. 

On Valentine's day, I got the news. When I came home from work, my husband was sitting on the couch with my father. I thought it was awkward because I wanted to be alone with my husband on Valentine's. They told me to sit down because they had something to tell me. I sat down and nothing could prepare me for what I was about to hear. MY husband told me that he has been sleeping with my father for the past 4 months and that he was in love with him. At first I thought it was a joke but they were both dead serious. Once I realized they were serious, I freaked out and started going crazy. My father calmed me down but I spit in his face. He tried to make it seem like everything was going to be ok and I should accept their relationship if I really love them. Words cannot describe how much this has hurt me. I had no idea my husband was gay and even then, I would never expect for him to sleep with my father. My father is separated right now because of the situation but my mom had no idea this was going on either.

After fighting and screaming, I finally left the house and I am staying with my girlfriend. My little girls are with that monster now but when I talked to them, they were safe and didn't know about the situation. I talked to my husband on the phone today and he says that he wants to move out and get a apartment with my father to start a new life. I swear they are both like 2 brand new people to me and I am devastated. He also said that he wants to give him custody of the girls so they can stay with him. I said hell no and he threatened to make things much harder for me if I don't comply. 

What should I do? I am totally lost and the past 2 days have been a nightmare. I could have never saw this coming and I would have much prefered my husband to cheat with another woman than to violate me like this. I totally hate my father now and I have not spoken to him since that day. MY mother doesn't seem to surprised since she said that my father had a similar episode before in their marriage. I have no idea what that means because she didn't give me the whole story. Please somebody help me with some advice.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Neither of them should be allowed to be with children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Neither of them should be allowed to be with children.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My thoughts exactly. Not as punishment, but the confusion of the kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Sorry, but is this for real? REALLY?!?!?! And again, sorry if it is but I've NEVER came across a situation like this, and to be honest, I would have taken the girls with me! Is your Dad still married to your mother?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Did your husband post here a while ago?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Did your husband post here a while ago?


Yes, I remember a husband with a story about how he and his father in law got into a PA and 'fell in love'. Troll.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I remember that story too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

But dd he get the iPad?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Different dude Shaggy.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Consult with a lawyer, it's utter nonsense that he can keep custody of your children. This destructive turn if events is not good for children.

This is not a "it's ok to be gay" thing.

It is a sick betrayal by husband and your father.

No family court in the country will consider that to be a good place for your children.

Get a lawyer immediately!

Protect your children.


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## brknhrt (Feb 17, 2012)

The reason why I haven't had my girls with me is because I don't know how I can be strong in front of them. I don't want to hurt them but I have been a emotional mess for the past couple days. I have been looking around for a lawyer but anyone can tell you that everything happened so fast that I feel misled and disoriented.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Sleep with your mother in law. Troll post


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Wonder why does someone do stuff like this? "troll posting"

What function does it do?

Are they trying to be funny or just lead people on?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I don't believe it's a troll.

I'm very sorry. I'd be very upset. Get your girls and file for divorce. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> I don't believe it's a troll.
> 
> I'm very sorry. I'd be very upset. Get your girls and file for divorce.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you sure? I like the other heard the same story awhile back. But they never post again. Now a new person with two posts is doing it again. Some computer wize can tell if it is coming form the same ip address or not.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Oh wow I remember the previous post...

If this is true - and I really hope it isn't - get a lawyer ASAP. For the sake of your children I would return, (under the guise of acceptance), especially if you feel that you would not be in any danger. Your children may wonder why you left them. On the other hand, you don't know what kind of state of mind these two are in, to have crossed such extreme boundaries.

Not that I would ever condone anything illegal, (like "kidnapping") but sometimes you have to do what you can to protect your babies.

You are going to need a counselor to help you with this, and possibly for your children as well...

I really hope this isn't true. Please tell me you are messing with us here.   
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ok here's advice:

Go to the bank - take every dime you can lay your hands on and move it to a private account.

Open a new CC in your name.

Contact a laywer - explain that you want your husband out of the house, but to continue paying bills.

get your kids and get them away from him.

see if you can get a restaining order against the two men - this isn't an anti gay issue - it's a issue of a situation that children should not be exposed to of cheating, betrayal etc.

get your mom to do all the above - but only after you have done it so she can't warn them.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Oh, and expose it all publically to whatever it is they call friends and family. Make the affair publically costly for them to carry on.

then dump them both out of your life.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Odds that the story line is true?
Slim

Odds that her husband would find this site and post his story several weeks ago?
Slim Slim.

Odds that she would then find this site today and post herself?
Slim Slim Slim.

Add up six slims and what do you get? Odds that this is legit are virtually nonexistent. 

Regardless there are only two answers. 1. OP if it's legit get a lawyer and get loose. Save your money for the counseling that you and your kids will need. There is no salvaging this. 2. OP if this is not legit and it is indeed a troll post - get more creative and change your story line.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

surprised this thread is still open


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

amp is taking an old guy nap


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Odds that the story line is true?
> Slim
> 
> Odds that her husband would find this site and post his story several weeks ago?
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Clairebear/Cantbelieve/Bleeding and now this one.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I really wish I could find that original thread by the "husband." I swear I think the title of this thread is virtually a direct quote from my post in it.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

This must have happened during my banning. I don't remember those posts at all. Is it possible this is real? Why is everybody so convinced this is fiction?


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

It was longer ago than that - like back in 2011 I think. Everyone remembers it because the story was so far out there that the same troll accusation was made then.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

how could anyone forget that thread?!? 

I think it was deleted.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

The original post couldn't have been more than 6 weeks ago or so. I just moved, and I shared the story with my husband at the start of it, in our new house. Has the thread disappeared? I can't find it, either... :/

If this is true, I'm not sure how helpful it would be for her to see the original thread anyhow. This is a devastating enough situation. I really hope this is a joke... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

sigma1299 said:


> It was longer ago than that - like back in 2011 I think. Everyone remembers it because the story was so far out there that the same troll accusation was made then.


Was probably banned back then too!

Now everybody is talking about the Ipad thread and I was banned (this time) during it and don't have a clue what is going on. Booo.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Was probably banned back then too!
> 
> Now everybody is talking about the Ipad thread and I was banned (this time) during it and don't have a clue what is going on. Booo.


Awwww you missed the iPad thread - talk about entertainment!!! A "wife" posted that her husband had given some dude a BJ in a bathroom stall at a Starbucks because the recipient promised him an iPad. You can fill in from there with your imagination. Needless to say he didn't get the iPad as promissed. :scratchhead:


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## brknhrt (Feb 17, 2012)

Thanks for all the positive comments. I have talked to a few lawyers and my husband doesn't want to take anything from our relationship except for the kids. On the other hand, I am willing to give him everything except for the kids so it looks like there will be a battle. As far as exposing their relationship, I'm not sure I want to do that because it would bring more shame to me and my family. How can I tell everyone that my father and husband are having a affair? I also don't know how I can move on from this. Thanks God I'm feeling better now but even 10 years from now, I still don't think I can get over this. I don't know how I can look my daughters in the eye and tell them that their monster of a dad is sleeping with their grandfather. For now, they are clueless and I'm still sick to my stomach.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> This must have happened during my banning. I don't remember those posts at all. Is it possible this is real? Why is everybody so convinced this is fiction?


Would you have believed it if it was a husband who came here with a story of how his wife and mother had a PA, fell in love with one another and now want everybody they betrayed to bless their unholy union?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

If they want to be together it's going to come out in the open sooner or later...

:rofl: They want the kids. FAT chance.

What have the lawyers suggested to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

morituri said:


> Would you have believed it if it was a husband who came here with a story of how his wife and mother had a PA, fell in love with one another and now want everybody they betrayed to bless their unholy union?


Don't you watch Jerry?? Happens ALL the time! :rofl:

However, I've heard stranger stories, so you never know. If this were indeed true I'd hate to think we weren't helping someone who needed it...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> If they want to be together it's going to come out in the open sooner or later...
> 
> :rofl: They want the kids. FAT chance.
> 
> ...


To give him a BJ and get a new iPad. :rofl:


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

:lol: That's just naughty!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Friday entertainment thread. Yay :yay:


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> Friday entertainment thread. Yay :yay:


:lol::rofl::rofl:


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## Speed (Dec 9, 2011)

Shouldn't there be a "piss of ****" somewhere in this post?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

Speed said:


> Shouldn't there be a "piss of ****" somewhere in this post?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
Said very well


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

OMG. I can't believe I just checked this thread now. Holy Jerry Springer Batman!


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## brknhrt (Feb 17, 2012)

So I've had the chance to speak to a few lawyers and I had to repeat my story to each one twice because they couldn't believe it. According to what I've been told, no judge in the country will allow my daughters to stay in that house and I was told that their best shot at keeping them would be for my husband to prove that I'm emotionally unstable. I called him earlier and told him how hurt I was and he did say he was sorry he messed up my life. When I told him that I'm keeping the girls and the law is on my side, he got angry. I hung up the phone and he text me many hurtful things. He said that he's glad he met me so he could meet my father and he also sent me many explicit things about their ongoing relationship. He also said that he was blowing my dad's back out while me and the girls were in the house playing on the wii. 

After this, I lost it again. I don't know how I can get over this and I feel like my whole life is a lie. I have not told anyone except for my friend I'm staying with but im thinking about telling our pastor since I know that will really shame my husband. Also, is it possible that I can use these horrible texts in court to ensure I keep my daughters? They are both sick monsters and i don't know how I can get over this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Give it up brknhrt, nobody believes your story. Just let it go and find something else to do. It's annoying now.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

you sure you ain't from the south?


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## brknhrt (Feb 17, 2012)

Wow seriously? This was the top forum on Google for getting relationship advice so I didn't expect to be ridiculed or accused of being a pest. Thanks to the 3 people that actually gave me some useful advice and the rest of you don't have to worry about me posting on your precious forum again!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

brknhrt said:


> Wow seriously? This was the top forum on Google for getting relationship advice so I didn't expect to be ridiculed or accused of being a pest. Thanks to the 3 people that actually gave me some useful advice and the rest of you don't have to worry about me posting on your precious forum again!


You do have to realize that this forum has recently been trolled with a story just like yours, and a few even worse!


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