# Sex... what sex?



## NewlyWedMomy (Sep 10, 2011)

So, DH and I have been together for almost 2 years now. In the begining the sex was AMAZING and PERFECT! We never talked about it, it just HAPPENED and it was great!

In the last 6 months it's been AWEFUL! We have sex roughly about once a week, and I am a HUGE sexual person, so, this is SOOO hard for me! I've talked with DH and he isn't sure why things are lagging... any ideas on how to get things okay again?!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ebbs and flows are natural...however if you think there is a problem, then I guess there is.

Are you under more stress? Is he? Stress is a killer of lovin' in this house.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

NewlyWedMomy said:


> So, DH and I have been together for almost 2 years now. In the begining the sex was AMAZING and PERFECT! We never talked about it, it just HAPPENED and it was great!
> 
> In the last 6 months it's been AWEFUL! We have sex roughly about once a week, and I am a HUGE sexual person, so, this is SOOO hard for me! I've talked with DH and he isn't sure why things are lagging... any ideas on how to get things okay again?!


You just wrote about some discord with your 3 year old. What's that about? Sounds like some low level anarchy going on.


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## NewlyWedMomy (Sep 10, 2011)

Not in the slightest Runs like dog and I don't appreciate that. Me and my hubby are struggling on a lot of things! It all started once he came back from truck driving. If you look under the topic of "thinking os seperating" You'll get the bigger picture. 

My hubby and I have been having a BEYOND hard year this year and things with OUR relationship are going grey and as are the relationship he has with my daughter. We are under MAJOR stress and I can't seem to figure a lot of things out in our relationship and I don't appreciate being judged! I'm here for advice and some guidance cause we are both not clse with our families. We are young and trying to get a grip on things!


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

NewlyWedMomy said:


> Not in the slightest Runs like dog and I don't appreciate that. Me and my hubby are struggling on a lot of things! It all started once he came back from truck driving. If you look under the topic of "thinking os seperating" You'll get the bigger picture.
> 
> My hubby and I have been having a BEYOND hard year this year and things with OUR relationship are going grey and as are the relationship he has with my daughter. We are under MAJOR stress and I can't seem to figure a lot of things out in our relationship and I don't appreciate being judged! I'm here for advice and some guidance cause we are both not clse with our families. We are young and trying to get a grip on things!


Here's your answer about the sex. If things are rough enough that you're considering separating, I'm surprised you are asking this question. Sex is highly psychological; when a relationship is strained, the people won't connect as well physically.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Roooth said:


> Here's your answer about the sex. If things are rough enough that you're considering separating, I'm surprised you are asking this question. Sex is highly psychological; when a relationship is strained, the people won't connect as well physically.


:iagree: Sex can be used as an indicator of a succesful marriage.


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## NewlyWedMomy (Sep 10, 2011)

I am thinking of seperating but i still have questions about other things like maybe we can work it out. Im in the middle about it all because im not sure if im jumping the gun with giving up. But i totally understand what your saying... good sex life plays a huge part in a relationship...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

NewlyWedMomy said:


> I am thinking of seperating but i still have questions about other things like maybe we can work it out. Im in the middle about it all because im not sure if im jumping the gun with giving up. But i totally understand what your saying... good sex life plays a huge part in a relationship...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ive been on these forums for a few months now, and based on historical evidence, Id say you ARE jumping the gun.

Too many people fall into this belief that Love conquers all, but its simply not true. To make marriage work, you need to work on your marriage. You need to communicate and work hard. Times are tough, and with the invent of the dual-income household "marriage" issues are usually left on the back burner with sex.

Is divorce a consideration soley due to the poor sex? If thats the case, and your Hubby still wants to have sex with you, then its a relatively quick fix.

You mentioned how sex always just happened. Thats normal for dating and the early stages of marriage, but after that you need to communicate your desires to your H. It might make you uncomfortable, especially if you have never had to "ask" for it, but I assure you, if this is the case, there is virtually no risk involved for a wife asking her husband for sex.


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## loiue (Sep 7, 2011)

I'd say try and stick with it, dont give up yet.
It seems you are going through some of the issues I am (not that Ive read into your situation). But we have had a stressful few years lately. It has impacted our intimacy, I do get frustrated as well. But in spite of our many problems we realise that we love each other, we get along on many other levels besides physically. So as upsetting as it can be if you love each other its better to stick around and get through everything togeather.

A relationship is more worthwhile and rewarding when you try your hardest to make it work. I gave up for a while with mine and it didnt help anyone especially myself.


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## NewlyWedMomy (Sep 10, 2011)

Sock puppet- I'm never going to leave him just because of the sex. I've thought of leaving him because of the lack of respect for me and along with a whole list of issues we are having. I've talked with him about how the lack of sex makes me feel and how I want more sex... I've talked to him more times than I can count and it always leads back to this once a week thing and he can never give me an answer as to why it is the way it is.... it's discouraging 

Loiue- I'm trying my hardest to stick things out... but we are having so many other issues aside from intimacy... just feeling overwhelmed like I'm the only one making the effort to make things work for us...


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## Elliott (Sep 13, 2011)

You're only the third wife that I've met in my life that wants more sex than her husband. :smthumbup: I like women like that 

I say oral sex is the bandage solution. Your words aren't getting through to him much, so I think you should use oral sex which leads to vaginal sex as a way of relaxing him (and you getting yours . I (and many other men) are very relaxed while receiving oral sex. If you want to encourage him to talk about what troubles him while he's "in that relaxed mood" that might help.

I'm in the same boat as you (sexual desire issues). Personally my wife is easily stressed, and thus sex is the last thing on her mind. But in our early years that was her way of relaxing me after work (and getting hers). Like that good booty I was getting from the wife,...that eventually stopped.


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