# Sex with the Ex? Anyone give in to it?



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I posted about my situation already but thought I would start a more generic thread for everyone else. Who continued having relations with their stbx or ex for that matter? Tell me your stories. I haven't fallen for it....yet....but everyone has their limits...lol


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

I created a thread about this. It's complicated. Both have to be past any emotional ties in order for it to work. When one is still attached, or perceived by the other as still attached, then chances are nil.

Physical reaction would be awesome. It's the after mental/emotional reaction that would wreck me.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Almost did a few weeks back. She was up for it and made the first move. She had on the tight pants that she knew would send me over the moon. I somehow had strength to run like Joseph outta there.


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## mommyofthree (Jan 7, 2012)

I did years and years ago. I was I think 21 or so.
We broke up but stayed friends since we had mutual friends.I also bought our car from him so I had to make payments to him.

I went over one day and we got to talking and well.....I did not have sex with him but I did give a BJ. I remember because he told me I was awesome and if he ever saw my future boyfriends smiling he would know why.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

When my "soulmate" ex broke up with me, we started a FWB situation about a month later. I was so desperate to feel loved and hoped he would change his mind. In the end, it just hurt and made me feel dirty and manipulated. Plus, I had an STD scare because he finally admitted while we were FWB that he had slept around on me while we were still together (I had suspected and he always gaslit me about it).

We're talking scared of having AIDS STD scare because my Celiac (autoimmune disease) kicked into gear.

Was absolutely not worth it for me.


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## KDS0422 (Apr 4, 2012)

One time, years ago. I had fallen down some stairs, sore back, and asked him to come over to help get the kids in bed. We were still on good terms and it wasn't a big deal. After kids in bed, he offered to rub my back, one thing led to another, ya know. We had both been alone for a while and the familiar was pretty easy to fall back to.

We kinda laughed about it the next day but nothing much was said. Two weeks later my ex-MIL (who I am still very close to) called me and said he was planning to ask me to marry him again and she begged me not to, lol. (We are both healthier and happier when not married to each other!!) He said nothing to me about this, I assured her there was nothing going on, we just made a mistake during a weak moment. It was never mentioned again.

We are still on good terms, this would have been 10 years ago this happened. Ya just smack yer head and go on.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have done this before. I don't recommend it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> Almost did a few weeks back. She was up for it and made the first move. She had on the tight pants that she knew would send me over the moon. I somehow had strength to run like Joseph outta there.


Hilarious :rofl:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

My Ex has made the offer on a few occaisions.

Seems strange though - since we didn't have sex during the last 6 months or so of our marriage!

She claims she hasn't been with anyone else - and I tend to believe her. So - at least she'd be "safe." 

Still though - seems like a firm, clean break is best all around.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

I love getting laid.

that being said, I'd rather never have sex again than put myself through that kind of emotional beat up.

been there, done that, drank that bottle, have that t-shirt. No thank you!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Hilarious :rofl:


I could have pounded a nail through an oak plank with Little Bandit after that. Sheesh!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Aileron (Mar 24, 2012)

Longtime [6 years] ex-girlfriend broke up me and moved 4 hours away. I got over her after a few months and decided not to date for a while. We spoke on the phone weekly and after a while she would visit every other weekend just to have sex. This lasted over a year. It was great and I don't regret it one bit. When I met my now current wife, we agreed to stop seeing each other for good.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I don't think it's ever a good thing, the sex is one thing, but if two people are trying to move forward then re-connect emotionally and sexually, it's just like moving back again.

I think I'd rather have random sex with a stranger than go through that crap.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

working_together said:


> I think I'd rather have random sex with a stranger than go through that crap.



where does the line start?


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> I posted about my situation already but thought I would start a more generic thread for everyone else. Who continued having relations with their stbx or ex for that matter? Tell me your stories. I haven't fallen for it....yet....but everyone has their limits...lol


To me the idea is impossible to conceive of. I don't have sexual attraction to people who are not my mate or my prospective mate.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

I think I'd rather die a slow miserable death than to be subjected to that again....


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Me, personally, no. Too much baggage with MY ex of 30 years. Zero sexual attraction, and the sex was nil near the end anyway. I had a running affair with myself for half of the marriage. Needless to say, I didn't feel run back to her to scratch an itch.

Having sex with an ex MIGHT leave an impression with your next significant other … even though the past is out of reach, one DOES have some control over the present -- and the present becomes the past soon enough. 

My new wife had sex with her ex not that long before she met me. She shared this before we had any intention of becoming partners (we were in the infamous insisting-we-should-be-just-friends-it's-too-soon-after-divorce-tell-ALL timeframe. And, we told ALL. ). There was, apparently, a strong physical attraction/friends with benefits thing that persisted with her ex despite a history of infidelity on his part, even after they hooked up again. She said she accepted him for what he was. He just wasn't a good husband. For my part, I was no angel. I shared that I had had sex with well over a dozen women before my first marriage, sometimes rather casual hookups during a time I was dating several women. This was in the pre-AIDS era, there was a LOT of casual interactions and there was a very strong acceptance of friends-with-benefits in my social groups. I remained faithful to my ex wife until the end, but came to my new marriage with an admitted history of casual sex, though long in the past. I had remained chaste after my divorce, and really had no intent of getting into any relationship for quite a while. *Of course, that kind of thinking leads to a rapid falling in love. *

All this aside, the knowledge that she DID succumb to sex with her ex pops into my mind at times of self-doubt, despite all efforts to put things in context.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

not yet, dont really want to, but sh!t happens in life.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

one_strange_otter said:


> I posted about my situation already but thought I would start a more generic thread for everyone else. Who continued having relations with their stbx or ex for that matter? Tell me your stories. I haven't fallen for it....yet....but everyone has their limits...lol


What would be THEIR motivation for wanting to have sex with the ex (you)?

You might think you've got yourself covered and in check, but no guaranteeing what may really be going through their head.

Sounds like a big recipe for a lot of potential heartbreak and headaches.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Sorry! Just don't think that I could bring myself to eat that much cocaine!


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## colingrant (Nov 6, 2017)

Just once. Wasn't planned, at least not on my part. On her end, probably, since she was trying desperately to reconcile after cheating. There was no chance of that. I think she came over just to see my new apartment. I should have known better. I think I agreed to it to show her I'd moved on to bigger and better things. I met her outside, since I had moved to a different part of the city and thought it would be easier for her if I met her out front.

I see her pull up and park directly in front of the building, which was unusual in downtown Wash. D.C. I walk around to the drivers side to greet her. I notice her skirt is loose and high on her thighs. Not abnormal for a woman driving though. When she swings around, I get a glimpse of home plate. The rest of the afternoon, was defined at that exact moment, as she was in control without saying a word. She knows me. I don't do drugs, alcohol, beer.. I have no vice. Except women... (married now and infidelity free, 20 plus years, but still not 100% sober, if you know what I mean.)

......Anyway, she gets out the car, looking way to good for just stopping by, since she was in the area, to see my apartment. This is around 1:00 in the afternoon. When she gets out, I see that her skirt is both short and wide. The type where if you're behind a woman on an escalator, you can see it all. Her skirt is also closing in on a foot above her knees. Not inches. A foot.... and she doesn't have long legs.

... and then the clincher.... No stockings. FKKKKKKKKKK... Not good for me. Not good at all for a guy trying to move on. If I was into drugs, what I just saw, that made my heart pause and my and thoughts in a race to raunchiness, was equivalent to a two inch pile of cocaine sitting on a table. I'm done. She knows it..... D-O-N-E. Her entire being shouted sex. She had four articles of clothing that could slide off in 15 seconds top, sandals, skirt, top .. underwear. I've NEVER been able to sit next to a woman who's wearing a short, wide skirt and no stockings and remain poised inwardly, knowing the barrier to home plate was a thin piece of material that's fractional of an ounce.....

.......fk........is what I said to myself. Still playing her appearance off...... or at least tried to. Fact is, she looked 100% edible, Got on the elevator to my apartment. Just the two of us.... I'm uncomfortable because I'm lusting and don't want to be, but she caught me off guard. I'm trying to look away as she's talking and smiling, knowing my eyes will be a dead give away to what I'm thinking in my mind... which has traveled to the gutter and back in a very short time span.

Went up to show her the apartment. Who are we fking kidding here? I couldn't for the life of me continue playing it off. At the end of the day, she ended up tapping out. .... waved the white flag. Bit off more than she could chew. By this time, the sun has gone from high in the sky, to almost setting. Turns out she came over on the wrong day and wearing the wrong skirt.

I'm just glad she didn't end up pregnant, as it would have changed the course of my life. I don't know how she did not end up pregnant though, as it was marathon-ic. Never allowed her to come over again. She tried to however, when her new fiance' was out of town on a CHURCH retreat!!!!!! See, this is why we had to part ways. She wanted to get together while engaged. Not good!


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

colingrant said:


> Just once. Wasn't planned, at least not on my part. On her end, probably, since she was trying desperately to reconcile after cheating. There was no chance of that. I think she came over just to see my new apartment. I should have known better. I think I agreed to it to show her I'd moved on to bigger and better things. I met her outside, since I had moved to a different part of the city and thought it would be easier for her if I met her out front.
> 
> Turns out there was a parking space directly out front of the apartment entrance. I see her pull up. I walk around to drivers side to greet her. I notice her skirt is loose and high on her thighs. Not abnormal for a woman driving though. When she swing around, I get a glimpse of home plate. The rest of the afternoon, was defined at that exact moment. She knows me. I don't do drugs, alcohol, beer.. I have no vice. Except women.
> 
> ...


I am glad you enjoyed it... 

In my case, I threw up in my mouth a little thinking about this quesiton... Gross...


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Years ago my best friend and his fiance broke up and called off the wedding. A few months later he told me she stopped over and they had sex but aren't going to get back together. But that sex resulted in a pregnacy, with twins no less, which lead to a reluctant wedding and 15 years of hell. 

DON'T DO IT!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

*This thread is eight years old. 
ZOMBIE. *


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Openminded said:


> This thread is eight years old. ZOMBIE.


True, but it could be said to be a topic of perennial interest, not limited to the OP.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie thread. Closed.


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