# Anxious, help/views appreciated



## Foxy_boy (Jan 16, 2014)

Hi there, I am new.

I have been married for some years now but I fear that my anxiety may damage my relationship.

I used to be a happy, go lucky kind of bloke - I still am a lot of the time but I do now suffer with anxiety and I am back on the meds following a bit of an episode. 

My main trigger is my wife's best friend. Now she is actually a nice person but very outgoing and a real influence on my wife. They see each other nearly every day and used to go out quite a lot in pubs and clubs in mixed groups until fairly recently when her friend realised that I was less than happy with this behaviour. To make matters worse a guy from the mixed group was very over familiar with her when I was around and this along with the best mate situation has sparked off another bout of my acute anxiety.

I have apologised to my wife and my wife's friend but there is now a real disconnect between my partner and I. I would never make her choose between me and anyone and I am genuinely pleased that she has mates (as I do). I accept that friends are important as are other interests out of the relationship (my hobbies seem to take place mainly during the day) but I don't hang out in mixed groups or stay out too late very often.

I know I am ill. I imagine scenarios that are just not there (I have been assured that nights out are usually uneventful) and this has not been helped by a recent admission the my wife lied to me to meet her friend as she knows I do not trust this woman. Just the mention of this woman's name can trigger my anxiety as can the name of the guy who tried to hit on her. 

Need some help and views please

Foxy


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