# What now ....



## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

My life fell apart in a heap after finding out about my husbands affair. That was in 2012. we had a huge mortgage and just could not afford to separate even if we wanted to.

Fast forward to now. things have been ok. However last week we sold our other house so can virtually pay off our mortgage. This gives us choices. for me I have been very quiet and pondering my future. Not a day goes by when I think about the affair. I am still even now shipwrecked. When we got married 17 years ago I had his great aunts wedding ring. About 2 years ago I thought that his sister should have it to keep it in their family. I have asked a few times since then if my husband can get me another one. He has yet to do so. I am not interested in an expensive one, just a token of his commitment. He has never worn one. 

I will never come to terms with his affair. I can't forgive him. We are just plodding along as "normal". I know we need to talk , just not sure I want to. 

Thanks for listening.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It isn't fair to either of you to remain in a relationship like this.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Forgiving infidelity is very difficult. Some R successfully and some don't. The commitment has to be total on both sides. If it isn't, time to move on.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

I know the impending talk will be difficult, but I can assure you that you will feel so much better after you do it. 

The longer you wait, the more you will detach.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Do not pay off the mortgage. Split the cash from the sale of the other house, sell this house too and split the proceeds, and get out of this mess.

You are not living, you are just existing. Life is too short to be this unhappy.


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