# Texting - oh it's no body



## MissMe (Feb 26, 2013)

This happens alot. My SO and I will be doing something, cooking , watching tv, shopping, in the car, talking, having a ****tail etc. He' ll get a text, respond, text respond text respond. He'll say nothing. If I get a text, I'll usually say Oh it's JaneDoe. I'll respond to the text. If the texting continues, I'll explain briefly what is up, as I find it rude that we are in the middle of something and my attention is now diverted every 30 sec to respond to a text. I'm acutally just as likely to ignore the text until I'm no longer doing something, but that's me.

If I ask, after the 3 or 4th round of texting, who is texting you, is everything ok? He'll say....No Body. 

No, he is not having an affair. It's just that he doesn't think it's important enough to tell me who is blowing up his phone. I can see who is texting by looking at the phone bill, although he probably doesn't know that. I just find it so curious he gets so many texts from NoBody.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Is No Body a man or a woman? 

It's disrespectful to do that repeatedly. Have you talked to him about it? Once you two figure out what is acceptable and isn't acceptable, BOTH of you stick to it. 

Our rules are that if we're specifically spending time together as a couple, out to dinner, movie, going for a walk, etc., only one phone goes along for emergencies and it is IGNORED until we are done. We all managed to survive without constant electronic contact prior to cell phones, it's a healthy thing to disconnect.


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## MissMe (Feb 26, 2013)

NoBody is always a man friend unless it's his daughter or xwife (who I actually like quite a bit). 

Great idea on the one cell!


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

It's just a commitment thing - we're committing to focusing on each other for that time period. 

I'll bet he's not even aware that he's doing this as much as you're seeing. 

Frame it in the 'When you do this, it really makes me feel this way. Can we both do this instead?' and see if that makes it easier.

I used to do the 'You always x and it's rude' - never gets good results.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

That would drive me mad.We're very open about texts and calls.It's just a small courtesy we give each other.
I agree with TCSRedhead,unplug unless it's an emergency.And definitely make it a "we" thing instead of a "you always" thing.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My H would never accept me saying "oh nobody" to the question "who is that?" calling or texting me. He would tell me that "no body" is not allowed to have secret text messages with me.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> My H would never accept me saying "oh nobody" to the question "who is that?" calling or texting me. He would tell me that "no body" is not allowed to have secret text messages with me.


exactly.SO and I would likely respond in a similar fashion.


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## MissMe (Feb 26, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> That would drive me mad.We're very open about texts and calls.It's just a small courtesy we give each other.
> I agree with TCSRedhead,unplug unless it's an emergency.And definitely make it a "we" thing instead of a "you always" thing.


I agree with you. On the other hand, if he were to ask me who is that and I replied "oh, no body" he'd shrug and forget it. I wish I could forget stuff, life would be so simple.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

MissMe said:


> This happens alot. My SO and I will be doing something, cooking , watching tv, shopping, in the car, talking, having a ****tail etc. He' ll get a text, respond, text respond text respond. He'll say nothing. If I get a text, I'll usually say Oh it's JaneDoe. I'll respond to the text. If the texting continues, I'll explain briefly what is up, as I find it rude that we are in the middle of something and my attention is now diverted every 30 sec to respond to a text. I'm acutally just as likely to ignore the text until I'm no longer doing something, but that's me.
> 
> If I ask, after the 3 or 4th round of texting, who is texting you, is everything ok? He'll say....No Body.
> 
> No, he is not having an affair. It's just that he doesn't think it's important enough to tell me who is blowing up his phone. I can see who is texting by looking at the phone bill, although he probably doesn't know that. I just find it so curious he gets so many texts from NoBody.


He may feel that he has to reply or will make the person feel bad. I'd ask him if that's the case.

Myself, I despise texting. Some people text to the extreme! This could be your hubby's friend. I have people that have texted me for no apparent reason. No, I don't really care where you are at the moment...They don't receive a response and I really don't care if they think I'm a d!ck for doing it. lol I'm not responding to gibberish crap. My time is important and so is my wifes. 

We have similar rules. No phone at the dinner table, date nights, spending quality time together, etc.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MissMe said:


> I agree with you. On the other hand, if he were to ask me who is that and I replied "oh, no body" he'd shrug and forget it. I wish I could forget stuff, life would be so simple.


well if we were all the same life would be boring.You can't change that it does bother you and I'm sure you do many things to show him he's respected...it's a small thing to ask for him to show the same to you.Telling you who this "nobody" person is serves a few purposes.one,it shows he trusts you to be reasonable in your reactions to things.two,it shows he understands your need to be kept in the loop and he respects that need.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Is the problem more about that he's not mentioning WHO or that he's texting while you're wanting his attention. If it's about the latter, it's a great opportunity to open up the conversation about what you both prefer in spending time together. 

It's not unreasonable to say tell him: 'When we're spending time together and you are texting someone else, it makes me feel like our time together isn't important. I love you and want us to spend that time focused on each other. I have done this on occasion also and will make sure I don't do that either'.


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## MissMe (Feb 26, 2013)

I'd have to say it's probably both.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

If it's both, be sure to talk about both of them when you do talk to him. It's better to be clear about what exactly is bothering you than to let it fester.


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