# Found on bank info



## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

Well, I was right, I recently had to get info for housing from bank account and found that my stbx had bought something from a little boutique near us for someone for Christmas. It wasn't me. He has lied to everyone even his own mother about what has gone on. I cannot believe that I had 15 years invested in our marriage to a liar. I should have seen the red flags in the beginning. Please do not be like me and make excuse after excuse for someone who doesn't even want to be in the marriage.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I am so sorry...betrayal hurts! Have you decided what you are going to do about this?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Sorry. It hurts. But you have made the right decision and will soon start a new and better phase of your life. I won't say I understand what you are going through, but I do know you can be happier if you believe in yourself. No man can make you happy. Only you can. Not a cliche. Stay strong.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

That's got to hurt, but be thankful that you finally know the truth and you didn't spend more than 15 years with an ungrateful person.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We have ALL ignored red flags in the hope that things will improve or change.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

Yes, betrayal hurts, but I would rather know the truth than to live with a lie. Thank you all for your support. We are already in the process of getting a divorce, so this just confirms why I left to begin with...besides the domestic violence.


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## anewstine (Mar 23, 2016)

Anony2
I am so glad that you are terminating your relationship. Domestic abuse is unacceptable as well as the betrayal. What an a double s. I too have been married for a little over 15 years and have a 5 year old son. I have stayed mainly because of my child...I didn't want to break up the family. Then out of the blue he tells me about 6-8 weeks ago that he cheated and wants a divorce. No warning. Things haven't been great. Living more like friends/roommates for a while, going to couples counseling, but never thought in a million years that he would have done this to my son anyway. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced. The support of others is the only thing that is getting me through so I hope to support you with this response and validate the betrayal and your anger. It is totally normal and valid. Why do people just think they can crap all over the ones they supposedly love and why do we stay? But on a positive note at least it is happening now and we can move on with our lives. I keep reading that it gets better and that I will be happier. I am holding onto the hope that it will get better sooner vs. later. Sending you positive thoughts.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

I feel for you-I ignored THE BIGGEST RED FLAG OF THEM ALL: I was husband #6!!! Love makes us do the wacky, right? After sifting through the ashes I figured it out-she got bored once the "shiny new" wore off. Things were amazing-for the first six months. Then it started going down hill. I won't deny that I had some culpability in the disaster, I will own it. SOME of it. But I will also stand and say I wanted to fix things, I wanted to go to counseling.

As for DV-I wished I could help. I work in that arena and HATE to see it happen. You know, it is amazing how clumsy those animals can get. They always manage to trip over something and fall head first against the squad car. I hate that for them...


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

WhyMe66 said:


> I feel for you-I ignored THE BIGGEST RED FLAG OF THEM ALL: I was husband #6!!! Love makes us do the wacky, right? After sifting through the ashes I figured it out-she got bored once the "shiny new" wore off. Things were amazing-for the first six months. Then it started going down hill. I won't deny that I had some culpability in the disaster, I will own it. SOME of it. But I will also stand and say I wanted to fix things, I wanted to go to counseling.
> 
> As for DV-I wished I could help. I work in that arena and HATE to see it happen. You know, it is amazing how clumsy those animals can get. They always manage to trip over something and fall head first against the squad car. I hate that for them...


Husband #6?

I'd say there were 5 red flags.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I know how you are feeling and really is not a good feeling, it is a gut-wrenching reality and you feel bewildered and confused at first but with time you understand who this person really is and what they are capable of and you can then see them in a different light. It help us detach.

Husband #6? I would say there is some history here. Were you sucked into/manipulated by the charms of a narcissistic relationship?


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

ReturntoZero said:


> Husband #6?
> 
> I'd say there were 5 red flags.


 The Big Red Flag is her serial divorcing.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

WhyMe66 said:


> The Big Red Flag is her serial divorcing.


I'm husband #3 for my woman.

Let's just say it's been an adventure.

There's a reason why the first two didn't make it.

If you're looking for people who are going to work on relationships and take care of each other, a serial divorcer who has "finally found the one" isn't much of a candidate.

Past is prologue. She cuts and runs. It's what she does and it's who she is.

BUT, that has nothing to do with you.

What are YOU doing for yourself today?


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

ReturntoZero said:


> I'm husband #3 for my woman.
> 
> Let's just say it's been an adventure.
> 
> ...


Nothing, sitting here. Praying, hoping for the new job in another town so I can GTF out of here. Hating life. The usual...


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

WhyMe66 said:


> Nothing, sitting here. Praying, hoping for the new job in another town so I can GTF out of here. Hating life. The usual...


Are you a member of a gym?

What are you eating?

Have you sworn off alcohol for now?

Are you in therapy?


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