# Infedelity



## Lovebug2 (Nov 29, 2020)

I am 29 and when I was 27 and pregnant with my son I was hit by a car while walking and left for dead. My recovery was not easy I couldn't walk broken back and the side of my face sewn on and bald broken hand and broken leg. I suffered many injuries my husband (boyfriend) then took care of me very well washed me went to the doctors the whole nine. But through out my recovery he was saving multiple female pictures on his phone and flirting with females. I had left him and he came back promising to change thought he had changed and he purposed. Again I wasnt my best self as I was pregnant and had a bald spot droopy eye and a broken hand and broken back still. I thought he had changed and said yes. We got married and he still has over 100 images of naked females playing with themselves and 167 videos of porn and the worst part was it was all hidden as it was before. I voiced to him that it hurts me a lot cause they look nothing like me and I am unable to workout or get back how I used to. I just don't know if I'm being dramatic or is this the time to leave. He also goes on instagram and Facebook and won't even let me know. He had paid for virtual sex on instagram before so I just feel real uneasy. At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. I love him tremendously but if I stay I know I will hate myself way more than I do now. What should I do u try talking to him and he just lies and says I'm controlling or that I downloaded it.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

You might want to see a marriage counselor who will hold him accountable. They're experienced in dealing with these issues. It's possible that you're overreacting to the pictures, but it's your right to do so if you choose. I hope you can have a full recovery. Being worried about your husband's behavior is probably not going to help.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Lovebug2 said:


> _*At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. *_


^^^ This says it all, right here. ^^^

He has shown you several times now EXACTLY who he is.

*When someone shows you who they ARE, you need to believe them.*

Yet here you are, not willing to believe it and actually wondering if you put your hand on the hot stove if you'll get burned again or if you'll somehow magically not get burnt this time.

I'll save you the trouble of wondering - no, it *won't *be different. And deep down, you KNOW that.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over - and expecting different results.

It won't be better this time and it won't be better the next time, or the time after that.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

What attracted you to him in the first place? What qualities does he have that you thought it a good idea to have a kid with him? Do you think there's a possibility he would NEVER act out on his impulses with other women, or is this something you fear you'll have to watch for as long as you're with him?

You say he just lies when you talk to him about this; do you have the evidence right there for him? I'm not sure that it really matters though. You know the truth, and he knows the truth, but he isn't willing to own that truth.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Lovebug2 said:


> I am 29 and when I was 27 and pregnant with my son I was hit by a car while walking and left for dead. My recovery was not easy I couldn't walk broken back and the side of my face sewn on and bald broken hand and broken leg. I suffered many injuries my husband (boyfriend) then took care of me very well washed me went to the doctors the whole nine. But through out my recovery he was saving multiple female pictures on his phone and flirting with females. I had left him and he came back promising to change thought he had changed and he purposed. Again I wasnt my best self as I was pregnant and had a bald spot droopy eye and a broken hand and broken back still. I thought he had changed and said yes. We got married and he still has over 100 images of naked females playing with themselves and 167 videos of porn and the worst part was it was all hidden as it was before. I voiced to him that it hurts me a lot cause they look nothing like me and I am unable to workout or get back how I used to. I just don't know if I'm being dramatic or is this the time to leave. He also goes on instagram and Facebook and won't even let me know. He had paid for virtual sex on instagram before so I just feel real uneasy. At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. I love him tremendously but if I stay I know I will hate myself way more than I do now. What should I do u try talking to him and he just lies and says I'm controlling or that I downloaded it.


He is a porn/sex addict. He will only change if he wants to and there is a very high incidence of relapse. You need to decide if this battle,either between him and you over it, or him and it trying to stay in recovery, is something you are willing to live with the rest of your married life. It will never go away due to it being an addiction, but it can be controlled if he wants help. 

Check out nofap.com . There is a lot of support for spouses and significant others of porn/sex addicts there.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Lovebug2 said:


> I am 29 and when I was 27 and pregnant with my son I was hit by a car while walking and left for dead. My recovery was not easy I couldn't walk broken back and the side of my face sewn on and bald broken hand and broken leg. I suffered many injuries my husband (boyfriend) then took care of me very well washed me went to the doctors the whole nine. But through out my recovery he was saving multiple female pictures on his phone and flirting with females. I had left him and he came back promising to change thought he had changed and he purposed. Again I wasnt my best self as I was pregnant and had a bald spot droopy eye and a broken hand and broken back still. I thought he had changed and said yes. We got married and he still has over 100 images of naked females playing with themselves and 167 videos of porn and the worst part was it was all hidden as it was before. I voiced to him that it hurts me a lot cause they look nothing like me and I am unable to workout or get back how I used to. I just don't know if I'm being dramatic or is this the time to leave. He also goes on instagram and Facebook and won't even let me know. He had paid for virtual sex on instagram before so I just feel real uneasy. At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. I love him tremendously but if I stay I know I will hate myself way more than I do now. What should I do u try talking to him and he just lies and says I'm controlling or that I downloaded it.


Your husband is a pig and you should never have married him cause he showed you the first time who he was. I am not sure if your physical injuries impact intimacy but he has no right to treat you like this when he knows how it hurts you. You are still very young. I assume you did not have a child? Time to divorce him and be free to live a life of fulfillment not constantly looking over his shoulder. it will not get any better as the relationship grows older. Run!


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## beautifulauthenticself (Nov 2, 2020)

Lovebug2 said:


> I am 29 and when I was 27 and pregnant with my son I was hit by a car while walking and left for dead. My recovery was not easy I couldn't walk broken back and the side of my face sewn on and bald broken hand and broken leg. I suffered many injuries my husband (boyfriend) then took care of me very well washed me went to the doctors the whole nine. But through out my recovery he was saving multiple female pictures on his phone and flirting with females. I had left him and he came back promising to change thought he had changed and he purposed. Again I wasnt my best self as I was pregnant and had a bald spot droopy eye and a broken hand and broken back still. I thought he had changed and said yes. We got married and he still has over 100 images of naked females playing with themselves and 167 videos of porn and the worst part was it was all hidden as it was before. I voiced to him that it hurts me a lot cause they look nothing like me and I am unable to workout or get back how I used to. I just don't know if I'm being dramatic or is this the time to leave. He also goes on instagram and Facebook and won't even let me know. He had paid for virtual sex on instagram before so I just feel real uneasy. At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. I love him tremendously but if I stay I know I will hate myself way more than I do now. What should I do u try talking to him and he just lies and says I'm controlling or that I downloaded it.


He's still doing the same thing even after you guys got married, and he's constantly lying when you catch him in the act or gas lighting you by telling you that you're controlling or that you downloaded it. I think it's time to look for a marriage counselor or seek divorce. There's no point of staying with someone who's constantly disrespecting you.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Lying and gaslighting are two hallmarks of adulterers.

In my mind, what your husband is doing is adultery. As such, I think you have every good right to end this marriage. That's what I'd advise. Keep your child away from him as much as possible, going forward. Children learn what's "right" and "wrong" from the behavior of their parents.


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## neotrinity (Dec 9, 2020)

Lovebug2 said:


> I am 29 and when I was 27 and pregnant with my son I was hit by a car while walking and left for dead. My recovery was not easy I couldn't walk broken back and the side of my face sewn on and bald broken hand and broken leg. I suffered many injuries my husband (boyfriend) then took care of me very well washed me went to the doctors the whole nine. But through out my recovery he was saving multiple female pictures on his phone and flirting with females. I had left him and he came back promising to change thought he had changed and he purposed. Again I wasnt my best self as I was pregnant and had a bald spot droopy eye and a broken hand and broken back still. I thought he had changed and said yes. We got married and he still has over 100 images of naked females playing with themselves and 167 videos of porn and the worst part was it was all hidden as it was before. I voiced to him that it hurts me a lot cause they look nothing like me and I am unable to workout or get back how I used to. I just don't know if I'm being dramatic or is this the time to leave. He also goes on instagram and Facebook and won't even let me know. He had paid for virtual sex on instagram before so I just feel real uneasy. At this point I'm disgusted with him and idk if I want to make this work as I tried before but I keep getting the same pattern. I love him tremendously but if I stay I know I will hate myself way more than I do now. What should I do u try talking to him and he just lies and says I'm controlling or that I downloaded it.


Wow, disgusted is a strong word maybe you should tell him face to face how you feel instead of on the internet to a random bunch of strangers.


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