# Need thoughts from those who have been there



## Clueless in wv (Apr 20, 2014)

It's on the eve of my temporary/final divorce hearing. My divorce hearing will by this Monday, May 19 and I am so overwhelmed with great grief and sadness. I was the one who filed for divorce, a divorce I did not want with my heart; but at the time I felt no other way. I'm so overwhelmed with sorrow and grief as I did and do truly love my wife. We were practically newlyweds, only being married for four months and I'm still scratching my head as to why she wouldn't even try after professing how she loved me and couldn't imagine life without me. No, there was no infidelity on my part anyway; but don't ask me if there was on her part as I don't have a clue to that. There was no physical abuse, drug abuse or anything like that. I'm looking for comments from both sides. Those who wanted divorce and those who didn't want it as to whether both parties feel this overwhelming grief during divorce. Please keep me in your prayers for Monday, May 19 as I need them. I would hope for a marriage miracle, but I've not had much evidence in miracles happening.


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## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

Clueless in wv said:


> It's on the eve of my temporary/final divorce hearing. My divorce hearing will by this Monday, May 19 and I am so overwhelmed with great grief and sadness. I was the one who filed for divorce, a divorce I did not want with my heart; but at the time I felt no other way. I'm so overwhelmed with sorrow and grief as I did and do truly love my wife. We were practically newlyweds, only being married for four months and I'm still scratching my head as to why she wouldn't even try after professing how she loved me and couldn't imagine life without me. No, there was no infidelity on my part anyway; but don't ask me if there was on her part as I don't have a clue to that. There was no physical abuse, drug abuse or anything like that. I'm looking for comments from both sides. Those who wanted divorce and those who didn't want it as to whether both parties feel this overwhelming grief during divorce. Please keep me in your prayers for Monday, May 19 as I need them. I would hope for a marriage miracle, but I've not had much evidence in miracles happening.


Im so very sorry for your situation clueless. I have read your other posts though and you made the right decision in filing for divorce. I know you love her and I know the "marriage miracle" you speak of is your hope that she comes to her senses. She won't. You know that or you never would have filed. I'm sorry for the pain and heartache you are going through but I'm confident that at the end of it, you will have a much happier life. You've been married for 4 months... you've only known her a year. She is who she is and she isn't going to change that. This is supposed to be the "honeymoon" period of your relationship/marriage... if the problems are already there, they aren't going away. You deserve better and you will find it. So, on May 19th, hold your head up and know that this is the start of something better. Because it truly is. 

From one of your previous posts I gather that your first divorce was NOT your decision. It seems to me that you rushed into this marriage to quell the hurt from your first marriage failing. You've only known your current wife for a year and there are enough problems to divorce. You married for the sake of marrying and didn't get to know the person you were marrying. Don't make the same mistake again. IC is a good idea for anyone suffering loss. In this case, I think you are still suffering from the first divorce moreso than the current one.


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