# Tomorrow is the end



## NShine (Mar 19, 2013)

Well, more or less. Needing to sign the filing papers. It's been one year exactly and now the moment of truth is here. How much last second regret is normal? I keep thinking it would have been so easy to just talk and verbalize some of the fears and rambling in my brain when we were still together and then we'd still be together today. Yet there's too much hurt over the past year of separation to actually ever reconcile, even if she wanted to.


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## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

If it has been a year, it is likely the right thing to do. Time to move ahead. If you are meant to be together, it can still happen. But sign the papers and give yourself a chance at a new life. Good luck.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Commiting to big change is always a second guess situation.

Take your situation and pretend it was happening to a close friend...how would you advise them?


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## NShine (Mar 19, 2013)

bobzis said:


> well, i can tell you right now. it is not an easy task. even though you have been through all the hurt and pain. divorce hurts.
> 
> what brought you to your final decision?


It was the culmination of a lot of things, a few years of various stress. Final straw was a hectic move and huge fight after we arrived in our new city. I think on my part it was fear that the move wasn't going to make things better and just wanting to give up.



SamuraiJack said:


> Commiting to big change is always a second guess situation.
> 
> Take your situation and pretend it was happening to a close friend...how would you advise them?


I think I'd tell them to go through with it. Especially from her perspective. I was the one who left so I don't think it's fair to yo-yo back. There's a blank slate for both of us ahead I hope. If our paths are meant to cross in the future then that will happen. Stopping the divorce when it's simply dotting the i's and crossing the t's doesn't really deal with the toughness of forgiveness, repairing the hurt or, dealing with the root issues that caused the split in the first place.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

NShine said:


> It was the culmination of a lot of things, a few years of various stress. Final straw was a hectic move and huge fight after we arrived in our new city. I think on my part it was fear that the move wasn't going to make things better and just wanting to give up.
> 
> 
> 
> I think I'd tell them to go through with it. Especially from her perspective. I was the one who left so I don't think it's fair to yo-yo back. There's a blank slate for both of us ahead I hope. If our paths are meant to cross in the future then that will happen. Stopping the divorce when it's simply dotting the i's and crossing the t's doesn't really deal with the toughness of forgiveness, repairing the hurt or, dealing with the root issues that caused the split in the first place.


Sounds like you both realized that the change of city wasnt going to be the magic wand. Clean Slate is s good way to look at it.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

> Re: Tomorrow is the end


..or you could look at tomorrow as a beggining.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Today IS the beginning.


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## NShine (Mar 19, 2013)

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I talked stuff over with a couple of divorced friends last night and yah, apparently this last second second guessing stuff is pretty freaking normal. You can't just whitewash a huge chunk of your life. 

I sent the papers back and then sent an apology email. Above all it's just sad things didn't work out. The apology was as much for me to recognize my place in things and learn from them as it is to genuinely admit my failings, something I wish I'd done before. 

There's no coming back for us now though, so best to try and end things with honesty, dignity and respect.


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