# cant bear apathy anymore



## soni (Jun 9, 2010)

hi.i m married for 3 years ..now has one lovely daughter..love marriage..after persuading my parents a lot..almost rebelling...but i feel i lost my love with the marriage. before it we used to go out for dating..talking for hours on mobile..could not live without listening each other voice..but now there is hardly any talk in the whole day.
soon after marriage i felt that the only thing he is interested with me is sex. he openly confess this and all his romance revolves around this only. when i ask y he was different before marraige he says because earlier i did not allow him...now as we r married this is the biggest pleasure and centre of life.
he is a very very nice guy n any woman will be luckiest if she is his wife because of his cool and joyful nature...but we two r quite different..perhaps he doesnt know and doesnt want to listen even if i tell him what i want..little bit pampering..some sweet and personal talk in loneliness..some genuine show of care 
(even if actually false). he is simply indifferent and apathetic to me. he says he will get bored if he goes out with me only. it may be that husbands in general are like this but this gives me a great pain when i know that he was my lover at some point of time and i still unconsiously start looking a lover in him.
perhaps he is not happy with me because of my not so good performance at sex... partially i want other aspects of romance also..sometimes my health is not good...but all these things he knew earlier also..
i feel we both r killing ourselves just to accomodate each other...me by facing stokes of his apathy on each occassion...he by getting not enough sexual pleasure..
if we separate he can do any other arranged marriage and can get full satisfaction from a housewife...and as i have always been a loner since childhood (i am very introvert and dont have any friend) i can again live on my own and hopefully with my 2 year old daughter..at least one of us will live happily and i will get rid of daily strokes of apathy and heartburning..
pl give me your opinion...i know decision is tough...but its only one life not to be wasted in tears...


----------

