# good for nothing



## Uselessmale (May 20, 2017)

Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Having a small mind and no heart are far worse than your problems. Sorry you are in such a damaging relationship. I would not stay with anybody who enjoyed being cruel.😢 Best of wishes for a happier future for you. Sorry I don't have better advice. Cruel people completely shut me down and I can't deal with them at all.


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## AlastairfromSupernatural (May 20, 2017)

;(


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## AlastairfromSupernatural (May 20, 2017)

Divorce her. You are in an abusive relationship. Since you seem to be the breadwinner, you can get the last laugh by forcing her to work for something once in her life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does your wife have a job?

I agree with you that its time to file for divorce.

Has she always treated you like this? Or did this behavior start more recently?


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
If this woman is so shallow that to her your condition is laughable then I regret to inform you that any serious, mature relationship with her is not possible. Understanding that there are certain expectations with sexual intimacy she could have explored other options and still had a satisfying encounter. Her approach was/is juvenile and uncaring. I would hope that by journey you mean the marriage and not your existence because to allow a person of her obvious lack of depth to cause you to feel so worthless so as to entertain suicide would be tragic indeed.

She lacks the intellect to have sensitivity and to "end your journey" over such a person is simply not prudent, unless of course you were referring to the marriage, in which case I wholeheartedly agree with you. There are caring females out there who would cherish a good man regardless the condition (size) of his penis. Find one and know what it is to be accepted, and cared for, for who you are and not just a paycheck.


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## Celtic (Apr 7, 2017)

Would you put up with this same level of disrespect from anyone else? Of course not. Our partners should stand by our sides and treat us with respect, kindness and support but if your wife is unable to do that OP, then she's no longer partner material. Get the divorce proceedings started ASAP. 

You're not useless for having health issues, though I know all too well how much of an impact they can have on our self-esteem, so try looking at yourself as a whole person rather than just being one with back problems, one with ED, one who is only good for working etc. Put focus on yourself and your own needs first and rebuild your life from there. If the wife can't support you with this task, as you would expect a spouse to, then serve her the divorce papers and cut out the venom she's been infecting you with. 

My trigger for divorcing my first wife was her selfish attitude regarding my own health issues. Upon driving me home from the hospital (after serious brain surgery to remove a tumour) she demanded that I pay her for the gas/petrol, complained about how stressed she was having to come visit me, whinged about not having a vacation and gave me a list of 101 jobs she wanted me to do around the house to "apologise" to her for me being ill. Forget that nonsense, you don't need it either my friend.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*First off, change your name from something as demeaning as @Uselessmale ~ having that does you absolutely no earthly good!

Get to a good urologist to have them assess your situation with Pyrenees! They can work miracles with men like you!

Unless your W changes her tune, you need to dump her high and dry as her behavior toward you is totally inexcusable!

Sorry to see you here at TAM, but you've come to the best possible place for help and advise!*


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Useless my man, you can write in a get sympathy, but only you can do something about it. You can't be like a lot of folks and hope that complaining will make the other person stop. You're 100% responsible if you stand around and let her treat you like crap. You may be gutless for not doing anything, but you're not useless. As far a your size goes, it may be like the plumber said, "you can't place a 4 inch industrial size coupling on a piece of standard residential pipe".


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Uselessmale said:


> Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.


My advice is to run the divorce lawyer and put in for a divorce. Your wife is just a low life piece of ****. You don't need to be with someone like this. Better to be alone. She is not worthy of you. Get rid of her and find your best life and live it. Good luck.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Spot on Brook. One of the best treatments for ED, LD, failure to reach orgasm, low self esteem, frustration, et cetera, for both men and women is to jettison the spouse and replace them with one with lower maintenance and more utility.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Most anything on a Male car body can be "fixed". You need to go the the right specialist.

Surf the web, talk to your doctor(s), break open your wallet, kick the door down, enter the sunlight and fix this problem.

In the "mean" time with her, get the divorce papers started, stash some cash away for the doctors. 

Separate your finances. If no children at home, move out.....but, check with your attorney on all moves and plans.

I would talk to the likes of the The Cleveland Clinic. Beware of scams, scam outfits, groups....they are rampant in Men's Health. 

The best revenge is one served...cold? Nope, buy a convertible, with the deluxe and optional good looking and warm bodied new GF sitting next to you...after your divorce. 

Your EXW will be scratching her head, wondering what the heck is going on. If she asks, tell her my doctors took care of my issues. Everything is back to normal.

Let her stew. Her pot belly will boil over, me thinks!


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

Uselessmale said:


> Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago *she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. * I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.


I'm sorry you are going through this and you absolutely have my sympathy. 

Something that struck me about your post is that it isn't factual per se - more what you _think_ your wife thinks and does. Openly laughing may be her way of trying to make light of it, to ease your frustration and anxiety, but she is doing it in a really bad way that is making things worse. How do you know she has told her friends? How do you know she thinks it is funny? Have you actually had a conversation about it? 

Sometimes humour can be taken the wrong way, some people are very insensitive but not necessarily mean spirited.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Uselessmale said:


> Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. .


Ugh. Peyronies is kind of the kiss of death for medical help. Things like viagra or trimix injections are contra-indicated.

I believe you CAN safely use a vacuum penis pump and a rubber restriction ring. Perhaps the combination can get you hard enough, and keep it up long enough for her to orgasm?

Of course there are a TON of other sexual things you can do that do NOT require a hard penis. Such as oral sex, bondage, role play, S&M, etc. There are a TON of vibrators and dildos available. 

Her humiliating you actually IS a form of sexual act. Small penis humiliation is something that you might actually get into if you have a submissive nature, or want her to act like a Domme. But, it is not for everyone, obviously.

Try to get her into some non-PIV sex, and see if the sex life improves greatly!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

peacem said:


> Openly laughing may be her way of trying to make light of it, to ease your frustration and anxiety.


I do agree somewhat. If she treated your ED like it was WWIII, that would be bad. Trying to find the humor in it all is actually the only way it will work. Just so long as she is not mean spirited or vindictive about it. She has to be of the "looks like Mr. Happy is asleep today, guess we will have to try again tomorrow" mind set for it to ever work

BTW, you are DEF NOT "good for nothing". You were a wonderful husband for 30 years. You unfortunately are learning about the "in sickness and in health" part of the deal now.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Uselessmale said:


> Been married 30 years, over the past couple of years have lower back problems and peyronies. Last time we tried sex she couldn't tell I was in that was at least a year ago she thinks that the small penis and ed are funny and openly laughs at me. I think she has even told her friends about me. I feel I am not good for anything except working and making money. Don't know if its worth continuing the journey. Any thoughts, I need advice.


Sorry you are going through this. Your wife is a heartless beatch!
You should stand up for yourself, do something to getnto better health, more exercise. Maybe if you have the money, appoint an image consultant to have a make over, one that will have your wife and her friends jaws hitting the floor. It will also help wonders with your self esteem. Show your wife that you will not be disrespected and tell her so.


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## Uselessmale (May 20, 2017)

I have seen a good urologist, suggested vacuum pump daily or radical reconstructive surgery. No good answer. She always told me I was the marrying kind not the fun date kind, guess I got her when she was finished sowing her oats


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## Uselessmale (May 20, 2017)

My self esteem has never been high, but this situation and being laughed at has really hurt.. Are there really women out there that would have a man with a short pebis?


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Uselessmale said:


> My self esteem has never been high, but this situation and being laughed at has really hurt.. Are there really women out there that would have a man with a short pebis?


Yes there are OP. The smallest I've seen was a pinky sized guy at a swingers', and he was with his wife. They seemed very much in love. I was quite surprised by the size, and pleasantly so as the man/nor his wife seemed the least bit phased by it. 

PS: I'm 5'2 with very small hands!


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I have not had intercourse with my wife for the last 15-20 years. It was so long ago that we can not remember. I am sterile as is my wife, so we have no children. With weight gain and old age, my penis has shrunk considerably. My wife is bisexual and had a live in girlfriend for most of our marriage until 7 years ago. My wife can orgasm quickly with me but not with any other male. She prefers women sexually because she likes the kind of sex she has with them with no guilt about not wanting itercourse due to medical issues and preferences. I have diabetes and medication induced ED and sometimes am anorgasmic. I have degenerative disc disease which limits my physical movement. My wife has my penis locked into a custom made stainless steel chastity cage that is only 1 1/4" long. It has been that way for the last 4 years. I get 3-4 orgams a year since my wife does not need my penis for her orgasms. She gets them with her vibrator or sometimes from oral. As usual we took a negative and made it a fun sex game of teasing and denial which has some Tantric sex overtones to it.

Despite all of this, we are still very intimate and madly in love with each other. There are lots of ways to be sexually intimate with your wife without intercourse. Oral is one way and a vibrator as you kiss and fondle her is another. My wife gets turned on by sexually teasing me. She edges me which is playing with me and then stopping right before my orgasm. She does it over and over until I am moaning in sexual frustration. She also teases me every day and loves how I lust for her when I am kept sexually aroused all the time. She feels like she is the sexiest girl in the world because I make her feel that way. 

We have had, and still have a great sex life. When obstacles got in our way, we found ways to get around them; even sharing a girlfriend when my wife could not and did not want to have intercourse anymore. She asked her girlfriend to have sex with me; not a threesome, just her girlfriend and me, just to make me happy. I was the one who asked my wife to join in, not her. That turned into a poly threesome with each of us sexually satisfying each other in ways that no two of us could. When sex got boring, I found a new fetish to try. There are a lot of fetishes where an orgasm is not the result. 

I forgot to mention that I have suffered from PSTD and depression for most of my adult life and still take medication every day. I have four shelves of pill bottles in my medicine cabinet and yet I love life and am still exploring sexual acts that we have not tried yet and running out of options. My wife just had a hip replacement and needs another. She cannot get into many sexual positions so we adapt. I have always lived out of the box since I was 18 and left home. I have bent life to my will most times. Despite my small penis, I had 30 sex partners and was considered a hottie because of my looks and was very good at sex and giving girls intense orgasms. Even now my wife will orgasm in less then 3 minutes with me, something she never does when having sex with women. girls great mind shattering orgasms. 

As a commanding officer once told me in Vietnam, I have a knack of finding fun and happiness no matter where I am. That is certainly true. So no more talk about giving up. Talk about finding ways to get around your problems, life hacks if you will. Only you stand in the way of happiness in your life. There are many ways to give women earth shattering orgasms without intercourse. Did you know that most women do not orgasm during intercourse. They need direct clitoral stimulation. Look it up if you do not believe it. Oral or manual sex is great for that. No one ever complained about my penis size, except two that I broke up with. Typical attack from jilted lovers no matter your size. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find ways around your obstacles. If you cannot do it yourself, see a Psychologist as I once did. Even my regular doctor gave me a page of sexual positions that do not hurt my back or neck. There are always ways. Guys with no legs in wheelchairs have good sex so there is no excuse for those of us who are not so handicapped.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

It's great that you used your problem to an advantage. I also suffer from ED but my wife climaxes everytime by manual caresses. These days I prefer to climax through her spanking which she is very comfortable with. Letting the intercourse go has seen other benefits although I think I have benefitted the most which makes me feel a bit guilty sometimes. She never seems to ask for anything but I instinctively know how to bring her to climax. She is probably wondering what is all this fetish after so long a marriage, but it has always been there deep down.


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## Notself (Aug 25, 2017)

Tony, stop perving on these long-dead threads. There are better avenues to get your rocks off on the internet.



Tony Conrad said:


> It's great that you used your problem to an advantage


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