# don't know if it is game over or not can anyone help



## scoobyone (Apr 30, 2015)

I'm new to this forum and to be honest I am in really bad place so thought I'd give it a try. I have been married for 26 years, I got together with my wife really young, perhaps to young. things have been ok but it has been a tough ride. From the beginning my wife has suffered from depression and it has been difficult to deal with but with help we have got through it. She has had two breakdowns and I've tried my best to support her through it all. Ten years ago we had a massive blow when she suffered a huge bleed on the brain and to be honest although she has made a full recovery she has been very cold ever since. The whole time we have been together she has never worked and I have always supported her and her nursed her through some long illness. we now have tow beautiful children 10 and 5 who we both love immensely. 
The problem is I feel she does not really love me. She shows no affection to me and has never. initiates sex. She cannot bare it if I kiss her. Whenever I ask her about any of this she changes the subject or tells me there is no problem. years ago when she was very low she told me she saw me as more of a brother than a lover. I learned to put this behind me as she was ill at the time but can't help wondering.
Recently I feel real contempt from her and feel out marriage might be at an end. Whenever we do have sex it is a real soul less act and it makes me feel dirty.
I have always said I would never divorce as it would destroy my kids and I love them dearly but is it time up. I just don't know what to do but I know one thing and that is that I am so unhappy.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

She doesn't love you. She even said so. It happens in most marriages. Welcome to the club.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Have the two of you ever been to counseling together?


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

She has lost the connected portion of the marriage. Marriage is not survivable if left on auto-pilot. You must find out where the disconnect stems from. I quite certain it is not from a head trauma. Perhaps the change in her behavior following the subdural hematoma was cause by what she perceived as your not being very supportive? Just a guess on my part. What has cause the disconnect? This is where you need to start.


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