# How to get through the day?



## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

I know in my head I am the one who makes me feel. But my husband of 20 years is moving out because he found another. I feel so hurt. He comes home after being with new women and wants to have lunch with his daughter as if nothing has happened. He chats with her on phone and tells her about this other women and my daughter asks can I go see her with u? Breaks my heart! He is going to move out and we will separate but it doesnt make it easy. I love him and miss him but I cant make someone love me. How do you let go and move on? It hangs over my head like a big dark cloud. I am greatful there is this chat so I can just ramble on and let someone know how I feel. At least I got out of bed and found my way to work. Now if I can only concentrate?


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

This isnt an easy situation but the best way is to cut all of your ties with him. With kids, thats not easy. You need to enjoy the life thats out there. Focus on other things, like work or hobbies. Go out and enjoy...


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

I have been having very bad day and called my doctor to increase my medication. I cant get ahold of myself today. I feel so defeated like I have lost everything. I know in my mind I should be looking at this as a new beginning? When does that become a reality????? I just need to know others have survived this?


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I've battled depression in my life and it's not easy. Talking to your doctor about your medication may help. Maybe going to talk to a counselor could help. Keep busy. Talk to your friends and family. Use your support systems. Just let them know how hard this is for you and that you need their support. Listen to music, go for a drive, participate in your hobbies. Sometimes you just have to FORCE yourself to get up and do something. I know that is very difficult at times and easier said than done. Been there.

I've only been married 2 years. I am 31. I am separating from my h. So, I can't say that I know what you are going through, but I do understand falling into that deep hold of depression. I do know how difficult it can be. And it's not always something that you can talk yourself out of.

Do you have kids? Maybe spending time with them would help. There have been times when I spend time around my nieces or nephew to cheer me up. Take one of them to the zoo or something.

:smthumbup:

Hope you find some support! Keep posting!


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## Rawrdonstein (Jun 14, 2012)

squeeky said:


> I have been having very bad day and called my doctor to increase my medication. I cant get ahold of myself today. I feel so defeated like I have lost everything. I know in my mind I should be looking at this as a new beginning? When does that become a reality????? I just need to know others have survived this?


You will survive this, accept it, forgive, and let go. In the end you will end up the stronger one, and the happier one. I promise you.


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

Well I got home and he was acting as if nothing has ever happened between us. watching TV mowing lawn. When I confronted him he said he just didn't know what he wants to do?
It took all I could to muster up "You need to move out untill you make a decission." Then he started saying how he didn't plan for this to happen and the other Women would leave him alone if he wanted to work on the marriage. I asked him if that is what he wanted and he said he didn't know if he could give her up so I said again. We need to start planning and go our separate ways I don't want to live like this. So now we will see what he does. If he doesn't move out I will need to see the lawyer. Thanks for listening everyone


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, Squeeky. Even as scared and upset as you are, you are still being strong. YAY SQUEEKY! I know it wasn't easy for you, but you did the right thing.

Keep posting, we're all cheering for you.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

But try to stay on one thread so we can follow-please.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

squeeky said:


> Well I got home and he was acting as if nothing has ever happened between us. watching TV mowing lawn. When I confronted him he said he just didn't know what he wants to do?
> It took all I could to muster up "You need to move out untill you make a decission." Then he started saying how he didn't plan for this to happen and the other Women would leave him alone if he wanted to work on the marriage. I asked him if that is what he wanted and he said he didn't know if he could give her up so I said again. We need to start planning and go our separate ways I don't want to live like this. So now we will see what he does. If he doesn't move out I will need to see the lawyer. Thanks for listening everyone


It is not easy but it sounds like you are building enough courage to control your own life. Dont let him decide where your life will go. Obviously there are other things like finances to think about. There is a solution to everything though.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Squeaky
I've been exactly where you are honey. You are doing all the right things. 
Sound like H is confused and doesn't know what he wants. This is very painful for you I know. He sounds just like my H. Wanted me to make all the decisions. Just make sure the decisions you are making are in you and your daughters best interests.
Ask him not to talk about the OW in front of your child. Very disrespectful and confusing for her.
Hang on in there honey
Xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

Well husband says he wants to try and make our marriage work and then he remains texting and calling ow behind my back. He is at home all day with daughter and I am at work and I went to our phone detail report and found he still is keeping in contact with ow. When I am home he acts as if nothing is wrong. I feel so hurt.


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

After swimming Husband and I went into house to start dinner and daughter was still inpool and when I went to get her for dinner she was crying. Said the sad song mad her think about daddy and you and it makes me so sad. This is hurting my daughter so much. It breaks my heart to see her sad. I can't believe husband doen't care. He is being so selfish right now and not making a decission keeping everyone on a thread? I guess it really is time to get the separation papers drawn up and see the lawyer?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Have you read up about the "Fog"?
Hes deep in it.
My H adores our daughter and would do anything for her, but when he was dep in his fog he couldnt see how his actions were affecting her. It absoulutely flabbergasted me. Now he is deeply ashamed of his actions.

Your H is cake eating, he has the best of both worlds at the moment. I know how much this is hurting you, ive been there.
I think its time to make some decisions though honey. Put you and your child first now. This limbo has to stop for all of you
XX


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

no limbo anymore husband is leaving says he doesn't want to be here anymore. He will move out and we need to get a lawyer. No more sitting on the fence for me. Just like that 20 years down the drain and now at age 54 I have to start all over again? i new chaper in my life.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You're going to be fine, Squeeky -- it's better to not be in the limbo anymore. Please do keep posting, we care about you!

(And I'm 53 -- there is still life in us yet!)


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

Reality is the lawyer can't see me for two weeks, but I downloaded the divorce papers and will start to complile them, unitil we meet. I do have to tell you H is very underminiding with my daughter. He told daughter that he has a destaney with ow in california, Mommy has her own destaney and Katelyn has her own destaney and when the time comes you can come to California and live out here if mom is OK with that and this was all to be a secreate from me. This to a nine year old? Then she asked if she could go to the water park with dad in the morining while I was at work not wait until the weekend when I can go. I didn't say anything bad about any of this but feel like husband is turning my daughter against me? I will dicuss with the lawyer.


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## squeeky (Jun 22, 2012)

Ireally wish things could be different for my family. husband now wants to go to california to see if he can get a job. I know he would want to take daughter and if he asks her I know she would want to go. It would break my heart. He says he loves this other women and feels he is trapped because he wont be happy with either choice he makes. He even mentioned he wishes he was dead. I just need to let go and start a new life with new dreams and hope this all doesn't hurt my daughter so much. My lawyer appointmnent is next wednesday I just need to go and start a new future.


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