# Scared of the Embarassment of a failed marriage



## Idkwtd2009Nov (Nov 8, 2009)

One of my fears is the embarassment I am going to have if I ever have to tell my friends and family that my marriage has failed and my husband left me for another woman. Or even the embarassment of telling people we have separated. (Hasn't happened yet but I think it might).

I am starting to have panic attacks of the thought. He is still with me but is thinking about his OW alot lately. He hasn't contacted her but he sees her at work every few days. 
He is not sure at this time if he wants her or if he wants to work it out with me. 

How do you get over the thought of the embarassment?
Very scared right now.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Why are you embarrassed? He is the one who is contemplating leaving the union for another woman. From my vantage you haven't done anything shameful, so there is no need for embarrassment. 

My wife has recently began the process of filing for divorce. I assure you I am not ashamed in the least bit. I'm sorry for our kids. Pissed at being betrayed, but embarrassed, not in the least.

LIL


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## Idkwtd2009Nov (Nov 8, 2009)

Not too many people know we are having problems. The shock people are going to have and we will be the talk of the town. A few people I work with I do not consider friends at all. When they find out it I can picture them laughing. I hate the thought of people thinking I didn't satisfy my man and that is why he went to another woman. Which I don't think is the case. He loves the thought of having her toys. Money is tight for us. He hasn't realized it yet but he loves the thought of her four wheeler, she hunts so she has guns,etc. We don't have these things and can't afford them. If she knew how broke he was, I'm sure she wouldn't want him. 
I'm really scared for my son.


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## JSmith30 (Mar 3, 2010)

All your son needs is two loving parents, doesn't matter if you are together or not, as long as he has you both in his life.

Money is always going to be a issue in life, but you can't let it hold you back from what can make you truly happy.

If he is openly admitting to thinking about someone else then he is not 100% committed to you. That is something you should have in your life.

You and your son are what counts, if you appear embarassed then people will think that way too, if you are strong, put up a strong front, then people won't laugh, and if they do they were never worth worrying about in the first place.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Just be up-front and matter-of-fact, and don't share details others don't need to know. "We're getting a divorce." "Yes, well, it didn't work out. That's the way it goes."


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

The only thing that really matters is how you percieve yourself! I was embarassed about my situation as well, both with the way people percieved me and with myself for letting my marriage fail.

But I'm starting to realize that SHE is the one that should be embarassed. She vowed to stick with me, for better or worse, and as soon as things got a little choppy she ran to an old boyfriend. I stood my ground and tried as hard as I could to fight for my marriage and for us. 

Don't let him make you feel ashamed or embarassed. As long as you know/ feel that you have done everything you can, and you can look yourself in the mirror every morning, than you have nothing to be ashamed off. He, on the other hand, does.


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## christmaslady (Dec 21, 2009)

Know that you can not control everything. You tried your hand with someone you loved. That is never anything to feel embarrased about. Things don't always work out as we want them, but they always work out. Keep your head up. You have no reason to be embarassed. You can not make everyone happy...remember to make yourself happy first and foremost. Remember who you are and what you want and focus on that. There will be "haters" and people talking, but that happens with everything etc. in life...

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally or spiritually. (or for you to offer the same FOR or to
THEM). They may seem like a godsend and they are.. They are there for
the reason you need them to be. Then,without any wrong doing on your
part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they
walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we
must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their
work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is
time to move on.

Some people come into your life for aSEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you weather it is for a reason, season, or lifetime 
To thine own self be true "
People Come Into Your Life for a Reason | Scribd


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

This is where I am at right now none of our family knows and the idea makes me really sick. We have played the part of the 'happy family' really well for a very long time and the idea of people knowing just scares me. The day people finally know I think will be as bad as the day he left


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