# Is it me or what? Confused.



## Stickybeak1 (Nov 5, 2010)

My husband and I have been married for approximately 20 years. In the past I liked to wear sexy things to bed but in the past year or two I've felt, well, silly wearing them. Like they're really meant for younger, fitter women. Is there such a thing as 'outgrowing' the need or desire to show yourself off to your husband? Not too long ago he remarked that I didn't wear stuff like this very much anymore. I said "I know"--but I still don't do it. Then, the acting out of fantasies--I'll go along with it but I feel like a fake sometimes and secretly would rather curl up and go to sleep. That being said, my husband is good in bed, I like to please him but I can't seem to enjoy dressing up and acting all va-va-voom. I bought a new outfit this morning in anticipation of this weekend but felt so down about wearing it I bought a new purse too..
Has anyone had this problem? Is there something wrong with me? I think there is! I need advice. Thank you.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Stickybeak,

You have been married for 20 years, it doesn't mean you are old. From what I read, I know it is important for us to keep a young heart forever. No matter how old we are, if we are able to keep a young heart, that's something great to have in life. 

You have been wearing sexy stuff for so long, you stop it, you husband misses it. It means he likes it that you put on sexy stuff for a show. 

My husband gets wild when I wear sexy stuff. I don't do it often, normally I just give him my sexy body, he gets excited looking at me when I just wear socks. They are men, something is there we can't deny, they are visual animals.  When I do put on sexy stuff, I know what kind of animal my husband will become. He just gets wild................ 

As I grow older, my preference about color changes, so it is natural for us for change. But please never stop doing the good stuff which makes you and your husband happy!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

I think it all starts from how you see yourself. I'm 25 and i have nearly the same problems as you. Except change "Like they're really meant for younger, fitter women" to "Like they're really meant for more sexual, confident and experienced women". I'm perfectly fit yet i still feel exceptionally silly wearing stuff like that. That's because i'm not very confident in how i look or my body. That's the problem, not age, not looks...

I think it's all about feeling beautiful and being at peace with the way you look. Greenpearl is exceptionally right with feeling young inside and keeping your confidence and happiness. The last two are much more attractive than anything else (tried out, tested, it definitely works). 

If i were you (and i had any courage right now - which i don't but working on it), i'd actually compensate on feeling "older" by getting a schoolgirl outfit and i'd try to have fun with it and not feel awkward.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Stickybeak1 said:


> My husband and I have been married for approximately 20 years. In the past I liked to wear sexy things to bed but in the past year or two I've felt, well, silly wearing them. Like they're really meant for younger, fitter women. Is there such a thing as 'outgrowing' the need or desire to show yourself off to your husband?



I don't think there is anything wrong wiith you. Maybe you are just feeling "older" -maybe empty nest syndrome coming around, the body doesnt feel as good as it used too, or look as Hot, and somewhere along the line, through subtle messages from others, you have fallen for the belief that Exhilerating Sex with all it's little things to spice it up starts wearing down as you age & this has contributed to your "thoughts" lately. 

And if so, work on changing this "mindset". 

I am the complete opposite of you, when I was younger, I was off in the clouds somewhere sexually (I needed such advice THEN), and now that I am older, I feel "younger" - finally found that Va-Va-Voom, I didn't start getting into lingerie till I was 42 !! No , never too old!! 

If your husband misses this, please keep wearing it, fake it until you make it -as some would say. Buy a good romance novel and read this before your love making, this will give you the Va Va voom feeling back. Think on things that will put your mind in the mood for Romance, buy a sex book, rent a Romantic movie. 

Never tire of pleasing the husband.


----------



## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

We've been married for 17 years and my wife went through a stage of buying sexy outfits for bed and then stopped. She's concerned that her body isn't what it used to be. Hell it's not...it's better. And she's a grown up with a grown up attitude now. When she's sleepy she wears pj's, when she's horny (most of the time now thanks to everyone's help here) she's nekkid. We got to our problem by not talking and we solved our problem by talking. Talk with your husband and see what he thinks, I'd bet he'd love you either way if you'd let him.


----------



## Stickybeak1 (Nov 5, 2010)

Well thank you all for the encouraging suggestions. I'll try them and try not to feel so discouraged when I look in the dressing room mirror and think "who am I trying to kid?" with my salt and pepper hair and my-butt-that-refuses-to-go-away-despite-daily-jogging-and-workouts. Bumpgrind, you're right, I haven't talked to my husband about the outfits yet. He tells me that I look the same to him as I did when we first met--and my body was pretty hot, even IMHO--but then I see myself today and think no, I don't look the same and neither does he but that doesn't matter. Whoever said sex is largely in the brain was right. Thanks again and good luck to all of you, you were a big help.


----------

