# BROKE LEFT JOB LOVE WIFE SAW HERE 1st TIMe in a month TOTAL LOSS and AT END



## marshsc

I saw my wife ar a bar after she kicked me out of house.sent me to utah and expected me to die there while she took house my dead mom put three hundred thgousand down on. We b oth crying saying we loved each other. But her family rules thoughts while I came b ack from job on disability living in truck to try and stop forclosure of house that she will not allkow me at no matter what. I am on probation from issues and have to frly b ack monthly. All that has been done has killed me inside but I still love her and why. I have a heart. She moved back in a week before I left after 10 month seperation and I talked to other girls. Was getting nothing from her and she wonders why I talked , not ****ed but talked. No we arwe at a total war. All will be lost. I am alive and she knows I am living in truck 2x days but does not care. Why do I care. Becauyse I love the woman.I said I will come home find a new job but miss home. UTAh alone in tent trailer 2 months was not home. I am lostand bad. Everything going over greed. She has family amd mom and I have 3 kids I have lost now and no home and no job and hurt to the opoint I want to go there. Scared. Gurt. Amazed depressed. GOD help Me.
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## marshsc

It rained all night, Was cold and at 3am had to go find a restroom as eating from the 99 cent store is not good. I have to stay here timm the 4th of Dec and wonder how i will live. Disability did not pay and I am Forked. Wow andd she sent me a text on the New # that she changed to and then called me last night and I did not get6 the call as I am taking 5 sleeping pills a night to sleep. Life reallllllllly suckkkkkkkks now.


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## marshsc

Broke hand Probation. Lost everything, Sorrow, Missing her, missing the love we had. Not sure will ever replace, Sure I can never replace. WTF happened. i think she said it the last time I was there. Shje said I should never have left. That is it. I would never have talked to other girrls if she was there
I would never have left california if she was there. I would never have done anything but loved her if she was there. I AM SQAD COLD TIRED OF LIVING IN TRUCK. TIRED OF LAWYERS. TIRED OF IT ALL. All she had to do was say IO love you and support u, come home and I would have worked 3 jobs. SIGNED LOST


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## marshsc

Now I sit here at the beach the day before thanksgiving, broke, no home, no kids. She is upset over multiple things. Job, talk, this web site. What did she think I would do when I was kicked out of house I just let her into afterr 9 month seperation and me being stranded in UTAH and she kicks me to the road and cuts off her phone. Sit there in utah an hope everything is ok at the house my mom paid for. I call bank and am amazed. I left work come back. Told not to come to house anymore.tried to have me arrested multiple times falsely. And I let her back gladly seeing she was evicted from her apt and within two months I am treated like this. I had no choice. My heart will be broken forever after this. Miss seeing the dogs, the kids. The parties Remember the walks we used to take. Times at work making love at lunch. River trips for tatoes. She has my name on her back and I have her on my arm. This is really the saddest time of my life and I am sure hers also. There will be nothing left from house after lawyers bail. Bonds bills. Realestate guy. Don't want to go back to utah , might take job here. Could have done that in the beginnibg but now I just feel like I am dead. More to follow. Love u wife.
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## swedish

Do you have family that could help you right now? Meaning, brothers, sisters, dad, etc.? I am sorry to hear you are at such a low point right now. Hang in there.


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## marshsc

No. Mom and dad dead. Sister dead. I make it day by day. Shower at gym. I have to checkin with probation once a month on the 3rd so can't go back now. Can't afford room so I am truck bound. Have a few friends I stay at here and there but don't want to bring drama to them. I did not file divorce I filed seperation if that says anything. All she had to do was say come home. Ur not happy. I am at a total loss and can only express my feelings here. I so love this woman and she stated same to me when I saw her at the b ar. fork I miss her. I inhereted over six hundred thgousand and it seem when that was gone we were but I know in my heart I will always wait and hope someday when kids are gone as she always said. If she did not care then why did she hit this site 70 pluss times after she kicked me out for talking to girls. Wha did she expect after 9 month seperation and no nothing but she says I so loved u. Why did u not show it. Why.so now sale house. Seadoo. All is lost.
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## marshsc

No. No one. Me. I am dead.
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## marshsc

Well not dead b ut feel like it. I can take a jo b here but no insurance for kids and 13000 lower. Ihave to return to utah. Dec 3. I will do nothing but look for work once there to get back to my kids and hope I get to see her. 
I hate my life. Cry daily. Wonder daily. Stopped facebook as no one wants this pain. I don't. I am so forking sad
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## marshsc

I don't eat. Don't sleep. Worry. Depressed. Destroyed. Once she said " just stop". I did. I wanted to come home. She has the choice. Divorce or seperation. I know what I want. But I know her family and daughter rule. Time will I hope heal this but I am not sure. Signed. Lost without you.
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## marshsc

Thanksgiving tomorrow. I have nothing left to be thankful for. Like she said last convesation on the phone. I ****ed up. I left to utah. But I thought she was coming. Now all is dead. I am scared
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## marshsc

Every moment of my day thinks of u.
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## marshsc

Just kill me it would be easier than this
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## Powerbane

marshsc said:


> Just kill me it would be easier than this
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dude that may seem like an option but it's not. 

Your life is a gift. I know you're hurting out there. It will get better. I've been there too. Living in a damn shed for 6 months. Working 3 jobs no sleep incredible pressures. 

It got better. Work on yourself. Get straight with the law, yourself and God. It's easy to sit around and throw pity parties for yourself. The hard part is getting up and making the effort to live. 

Read through threads here on this site. There is so much useful information and people willing to help. Just ask. Go find a local church or charity. Volunteer yourself. I guarantee you will find others 10 times more worse off. 

I wish you well but you have to pull yourself out of whatever mess you're in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marshsc

Police say I can press charges since she stole my zip drive and accessed all accounts and I know she did over 70 hite on this site. 1st five were with my old password but I changed it and the site sent me her ip. Traced right to her knot knowing it weas her. But do I press charges for identity theft like the officer said I should. No. I would rather die first. Might be close. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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## marshsc

I don't want to go to utah. I want to sale house. Get apt. Have wife I don't have family guilding me. I have my head and my heart. Right now they are all forked up. 4 days of holiday in truck. Wow.
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## marshsc

I hope u read this. 38 days or so in truck. I hope u look around at dinner and think where I am. I would never in my life on my death bed put u there. But I am there. Think all I have done for u. Not against u. Against was only because I was left to die in utah. 2 or 3 years of no river. Jail. No family. No nothing and now THANKSGIVING in truck.look what I gave. My mom gave. How many times I asked u to forget. Now we loose it all. Blame me because u cut phone. I will take it all as I am taking it harder than u could ever handle and I don't know how I am handling it now. Not much a care about anymore except u and kids. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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## marshsc

Tent by the river. Haha. No a lifetime of regret is what WE have at 48.
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## marshsc

Funny thing is all it takes with me is one statement. I would say in a moment. But I know u can't. Family.
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## marshsc

Gave u car. House. Dogs. List ew verything else. Lost kids.
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## marshsc

U forked me. U killed me.
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## marshsc

I just ate dinner at coast christian for dinner. Thank u hunny
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## marshsc

I forking hate my life. Thankful for me leaving state to nothing. Remember crying the day I was going to leave and didnt to comfort u.Wishing I would have never lelt. Worst thankggiving I have ever had. Don't want to live.
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## marshsc

I guess I just need to sleep. I am sad and destroyed. That is it.I so miss your voice.
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## marshsc

My heart is wasted to the max. Holidays and all I want to do is crawl in a hole.
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## marshsc

And now find out she asked my. Best friend to go to high school reunion with her whil$e I was in utah. Great plan
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## marshsc

I loved u so much. I should have never went to uta
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## marshsc

U say brother was going to get job. What after high school reunion with my best friend
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## marshsc

Either pay lawyers everything to go over small stuff. House still could be saved. But u won't talk. There is mediation center that is 25 an hour I think and the paralegal said. Its a lot better than 400 an hour.was it worth it to just kick me out. U blame me for all of it but what would u have done if I told u to not come home from utah and cut off my phone. Talk or loose it all faster as I just got the notice of intent to accelerate. Think please. Mediation. I do love u
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## marshsc

Pastor chris would like to talk. Make the call.
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## marshsc

I guess in about a year when its all gone. We will look at kids gone and regret all. I know I regret all now. I will always love u
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## marshsc

Well I will be in the same church tomorrow. I so pray that she would show. I know a moment does not go by without us both thinking on this. Make the right call.
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## marshsc

Guess no church either.
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## marshsc

I guess I go back to utah since wife has not even let me come to house in 40 days. I will get a dog there. A big house and ski and li e good. The plan was for two but I guess ur on your own. Exept for house sale and hidden jrski. All will come in exparte this week. Thanks for forking everyones life.
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## marshsc

Its cold and I hate what has b een done. There is no heart whatsoever in this person. There used to be. But its gone.I don't hate u. I hate what u have become
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## marshsc

In the end. Years down the line. U will think. Sorry u could not do that now. To late for everything. Look deep inside and place blame then. What as it said. I should have never left. Not me. I stayed. Love ya.
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## marshsc

Your loss. Friday I go to UTAH. Sk, have fun, work, make bank. Support kids. 2 could have been better than 1 at age 48. But then again u ask my best friend to ur high school reunion. Wow. And u blame me. Nights are active I am sure. Who I am not sure. Don't care anymore. All is destroyed
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## marshsc

Down to 10 dollars. Checks screwed up I am ready to end it all. Never been this low in all my life. How can one person do this to another. I couldn't. I feel like I want to die. But won't. Will make it back to utah from friends. But only after court. That is what I came here for and I will finish my part if I get nothing. U have to live with what u have done. 
Thanks.
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## marshsc

Up and shower. I will say today that I regret all that has happened. I so loved this woman. And don't think I will ever come close to replacing the good side of her or the good memorires. I forgive.
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## marshsc

Mitigation today at one. Wow. She has car I put 5000 on. House my mom bought. Dogs I kept care of 9 months seperated. 78 in big screen tv I bought. All everything and I have lost 3 kids, not hers, mine. Living in truck 45 days. Tent trailer 2 months in utah and u want to make a deal. Not allowed at house 45 days. No income.And u want to deal. WTF. Here is a deal. I pray GOD forgives u for what u have done. I will.
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## marshsc

I am completelyand fully devistated
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## marshsc

Welli am in uTAH. Miss her no matter what. We have talked. I wish more but this is in gods hands now
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## marshsc

I drove to UTAH and am staying in a basement room and really hate this place. I dont get paid from work now till Jan and never recieved disability. I hope I do next week. Hav Dec 26th thru the 2 off but have to be back in LA on the 3rd to check in with probation. I so miss my wife I so do. I told her I was forced to file a Seperation as I knew she would calm later and talk but now she said Divorce. Really Kills me. Coming for a job in UTAH ****ed up my whole life to the point that i am gfoing to either leave where i work and take a position in LA at anything just so I can be home. I am miserable and want to stay in the bed all day. Work is supper slow here and I just dont see me here long. 

Signed missing you and the Dogs and Home.


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## marshsc

Being here is not worth the pain that I have here. back and forth for a few more dollars and not seeing kids or my home. I say my wife twice in a 2 month period and cant wait to I see her again. Even if by accident . At lieast if I waas there I would have a possibility of maybe seeing here. I hurt.


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## marshsc

I hate uTAh. But have to find a job first
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## marshsc

I am getting a room today. Been here a week with friend. My heart bleeds daily. Alone 1100 miles from what I know. Wife was going to come out first two weeks I was here but I think there was a bigger plan and I was to stupid to see it. So now I ponder wtf to do. I Hate this place for what has happened to me from making the call to come here. I really despse it more than anything on earth. This blog is the only outlet I have. Wife won't listen or have feelings as nothing has changed for her. Its only gotten better for her. More money. Class. House. Dogs all the kids there all the time. Its like she has a spot in her heart that can blot out the pain I knows she knows I ha e here. Just did oil change and two used front tires and brakes soon I feel. But my truck is my home now in a big way. 5 months now and she does not care at all. Dogs are ok and daughter. She has many family to support her. I ha ve nothing
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## marshsc

So what do I do. People say buck up. I have 5 months thru a hell no one wants. How do I stay strong from here. How do I sit christmass alone in my room. Hotel. I am low of low these days 

Job or not. Its not worth it
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## marshsc

My truck is packed to the hilt and I ****ing hate this life here. If it was my wife for now telling me this I woul go on disability as she did before and we lived off what my mom left me to cover that time off when she had throat problems. But when it comes to me her husband that gave up kids ans all house property and house there is no remorse. If I look back, we both have parts. But now its all me. I am told u have to do some things u don't want to sometimes ,xxxxx. Well if I really look back. No christmass last 3 years. No nothing. River parties. Nothing at all. How can u fork someone so hard he looses 3 kids and house and job. How can u look ans see where u are and place everything on others an lie alway. Yes lie. Over and over and still smile on the outside. Destruction to the point the person wants to die and has 3 kids and does not carre. "Crying now yes I am".
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## marshsc

I sit and think all day alone. Daily alone. Miss kids, dogs and wife. Wife first. I think to the good days and wonder. What destroyed it all. What devistated me. I in my heart think it was me. Yes me. I kicked out a boyfriend of daugjter that led to her moving out so her daughter could have a live in bf at 16. I have kids 4 that includes her daughter. But allowing that when I had a felloney and he was a runaway would send me to prison. Not happening. So I kicked out after wife told me to mind my own biz when I asked about him and then lied when I asked if his parents knew where he was. So who is at fault. Awaf live in. Who allows that. Not I.
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## marshsc

I don't blame her. I filed seperation and she filed divorce in the reply. Broke me heart really as I txted her after a long drive I do monthly and live in truck when rthere even though I bought house. How can this be u say. A wonan can get a now harraement r order over a word. Then the man looses all even though he is a good man and still loves even though 1100 miles away. She sits with everything he did for he. TV. CAR. HOUSe. Painted rooms and wished and hoped. KILLED to be forced to live 1100 miles away from even his kids. Will update dailt. Signed. LOST
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## marshsc

I am still sitting here. 3 hours now waithing for a forking hotel room. **** this really. I would rather make less and go home. Yes a apt since wife won't allow me in house my mom bought
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## marshsc

I am hit. Depressed. Damaged. Destroyed. I ****ing hate my life. I wish I was dead. Living in a motel room. 1100 miles from home. Thank you hunny I want to kill myself.
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## marshsc

If anything happens to me. Please make sure my oldest son gets my truck
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## marshsc

I think back to everything and ev en my wife took my phone and my flas drive. She gave my phone to her daughtys BF and my # so I had to go buy a new phone. Also turned off my sons at the same time. I know some day I will be past this all and I hope it is soon as its killing me now.
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## marshsc

Well its monday and the weekend is past. Thank god. I can't handle these days alone. Wife now says fork the mod and let the house sell. We could save it but she gets mad b ecause I say somethin. Like she always has said. She holds all the cards. I hold nothing. Its always been this way.
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## marshsc

So now no modifificatio and house and all goes unless she comes to her senses. Sad it is. I will never see home again unti its sold and have to move it all.
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## marshsc

I think I may have to pack and leave. I cant take Christmas and all alone.


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## marshsc

I am dying here in UTAH. I am going to more than likely take a job in la to see my kids. I can't live my life sitting in one room alone. Either that of I will self destruct. To much damage. To much hurt. Why did I come here. With the hopes wife would follow. I am just fo freeking at a loss. I feel so bad. Christmass and house and kids gone. No family. Nothing
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## marshsc

Someone please tell me how to carry on
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## swedish

Do you have any family/friends in the LA area that can put you up for a few months? I know you are feeling really low, and it sounds like staying in Utah will do nothing to help your situation. Why not go back to LA and look for work there? At least you have your kids nearby? Also, if there is any way you can get some counseling, do. Things will look up when you are able to look forward...but I understand you are in the midst of a really bad time right now and still wondering why...but it will get better....please trust in that for now & please call a hot-line if you are thinking of ending your life...1-800-273-8255...you still have three kids that love you very much.


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## marshsc

No I am in UTAH only looking for work. That is it. I have a room now and I am talking to my wife which is good. I dont really understand why this all happened also other than 3 things. 1. we were seperated for over to months and I talked to 3 girls that were going thru kinda a situation that was close. 2. She was hired and we were not talking alot on details and I talked to a girl at work about it. 3. She accessed my computer while I was in the shower and saw that I posted two things on this site and that started the spiral. She cut off her phone and toldme to stay in UTAH. Yes it has been hard and I pray that in 6 months she does not follow thru the Divorce and we both get past this and get the house modified and I find a job in cali so i can come home. I MISS HER SO. She is my best friend and the most beautiful woman that i ever met and smart also. So I can only go to my room now and have faith that there is a GOD watching and seeing this and he can fix anything. Maybe redue the vows and mean it this time and stop the fighting that has destructed us. I really dont know anything other than I will never replace her. I MISS YOU BABY, if you reading this.


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## marshsc

No my kids are in Cali and I am in UTAH.


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## marshsc

I see that are alot of people reading this story of pain. Yes its bad SO BAD. I so want to leabve but cant till I have a job in cali. Just about died there in my truck and had to borrow to live. Now I am drinking close to a fith a night. WTF. I sit in a room alone and talk here and look for work. Dont want a DIV
had to get her attention
But now I am in like solitary confinement in a one room motel that is in Salt Lake City, morman town. Everyone is nice but this is not me. one person responded and thank you. I only know that I love my wife. We are both at fault and its way bad as I am so far away. Next big hit may push it. Drunk going to storte for smokes.


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## marshsc

what a great life


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## marshsc

Driving Have to get out of this cage. **** this


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## Powerbane

Get yourself together. Stop burying your pain in the bottle. 

Get yourself a Plan and work your plan. Nothing is lost if you have Hope. Don't lose Hope fella.
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## marshsc

I thank u for that. No more bottle. I get boxes, get packed and set an average of 3 of any combination resume to a company or job site. I got a great call yesterday for the new sky sraper in la as a tech. I may have to leave utah again to interview next week. B ut the pay is right. Not txting wife, not calling even knowing I want to. Get organized.
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## marshsc

Blackeballed I am.
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## marshsc

If it was a test. Done. Gone. No more calls. I am packing and finished. I don't want to talk to u anymoe or see u as all u do is kill me. Left work. To stressed. Blackballed. Earn what u get my mom taught. All u have is bro and house and I am dead. **** u.
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## marshsc

If it was a test. Done. Gone. No more calls. I am packing and finished. I don't want to talk to u anymoe or see u as all u do is kill me. Left work. To stressed. Blackballed. Earn what u get my mom taught. All u have is bro and house and I am dead. **** u. I hope some day u feel my pain.
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## marshsc

If it was a test. Done. Gone. No more calls. I am packing and finished. I don't want to talk to u anymoe or see u as all u do is kill me. Left work. To stressed. Blackballed. Earn what u get my mom taught. All u have is bro and house and I am dead. **** u. I hope some day u feel my pain.
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## marshsc

She called a few times. I don't want to talk any more. I loved her job or none. She does not love me. No more talk as it only opens the wound. 5 sleeping pills and a few shots of vodka and I sleep. Work I will try and make thru jan but that is it. Got another call today on a cheap job in cali where my kids are. First one over 20 I take. I will die here drinking if I stay. Work in cali and go if I have to live in the truck till I sav e the money. She I hope some day relizes the man she gave up. I am done trying and being blackballed because the managers know her brother. I won't fight anymore to save job there. 26 years gone and I don't ****ing care. If it wernt for sleeping pills and vodka I feel I would have been dead by now. So the best way to have a plan like the guy that responded is stik to the plan. No talk unless absolutely needed. It hurts ne to much. Effecting my job while I have it. I told her last statement is " I love u. Job or no job and that is the difference you don't love me". No tv 5 months. Here alone. No friends. No kids. No christmas no home. No property. Nothing but truck and me. So tomorrow I get boxes to pack the bags of stuff I have and start getting ready to leave as it could happen any time. I will not go on unemployment and will ony do disdability as its 70 percent pay which is more than I will make in cali now but I will see my kids. If not I will end up dfead and tjat is good for no one. Love my 3 kidids. 19. 17. 8. None by her and that is why she does not care. She supports her daughter and her daughters boyfriend at age awaf and allowed that to kill our marriage truthfully as I kicked out the bf and my wife moved out with her mom supporting the behav ior. In two years when they are gone she will look back. But now and for past few year has been daugjhter. The life she has or had is from my moms 600.000 and now from her brother getting her jobs twice. I have to start completely over at 48. Dead I am. 3 kids I have are same. Sad yes. Regretful no. I tried what I was taught. YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR PARTNER. Movie fireproof. Meen a hard day. I will make two weeks till I drive back to cali 1100 miles one way. Not sure I will make it back to utah though. Thank u all for reading this blog. This is only way for me to express myself over this extremely hard point in my life. Oh ya. She said she did have my flas drive she took when I was in the shower last time there. You want issues u look for them. Some day she will log back in here as she did nov something wheb she kicked me out of my own house and read and thik of the man she really had and whayt she has now. I hope she finds one that loves her lik I DO. A bit stumbly now. 5 sleeping pills and vodka. I will sleep well, - really hope she can also with all going on. No more talk from me I am done and I am sure will be fired or disability soon. Thanks fore listening. I reaaly do appreciate a site that let's me create this life aultering experiance. XXXX. I do love u honey
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## marshsc

Sorry forr spelling. Pills kicking in. Maybe more in morning. Nite all, nite baby I miss ur snoring. 
Sined I don't know how to recover, but trying.
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## Brewster 59

Wow I hope all this venting is helping you. I think you should worry less about your x is doing and figure out what you want to do to go forward as I dont think she gives a fk about your circumstances. 

I do have to say I know what it feels like being what I call being a dead man walking and how it feels to be dead inside.


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## marshsc

Yes it helps and I am doing nothing but looking for work in cali


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## marshsc

Its borring at work. No one really here. I miss everything and go home to my room I have put a lot of job apps in and am getting calls. Just need to reallyu be there to interview and its hard when I am here in UtAh. I miss her so much. I want to talk. Smile. Laugh. Go home. Hold her but I can't. I am a walking dead man
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## marshsc

I think this will be the hardest christmas of my life. I hurt. Keep job hunting. Packed up the stuff I have to boxes. I am ready to leave at anytime. I so want to leave but have to have a job before I leave 26 years at this job. Oh well. **** it all really. I need a drink.
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## marshsc

Go back to la and live in a motel 4 days even though wife wants to stay at house till june. This all is so ****ed.
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## marshsc

Go back to la and live in a motel 4 days even though wife wants to stay at house till june. This all is so ******.
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## marshsc

Someone please shoot me. I would rather be in truck home than this room. Hate this life.
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## marshsc

All day alone. Can't live like thi
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## marshsc

Sat and sunday I sit all day. I go to work to put in jobs and try to figure how I am going to sleep at night.wife. Soon to be x is not talking much at all and wants the div. Just very sad and alone. Only look forward to day I drive back home.
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## marshsc

I have a possible option for work back home. I want out of here. I hope some day six months from now my wife will still be my wife. I am very depressed here. Snowing and just so far away and lost my best friend for life by coming here. Truck was broke into again. I hate this place. Will be driving to az monday night to see daughter and then two days later to cali and then back to utah for the last time
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## marshsc

Hi. I left utah. Going to az to see daugter. Then to cali. Live in truck. I don't think I will go back to utah
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## marshsc

Well what has life done. Regrouping I'don't get it but I will make it. I sit here farther away than I was andd there is no end in sight. I hurt daily. Close to broke again and on my way back to cali. This time I do not know that I will return to UTAH. I asked my boss for a layoff so that I can collect severance pay and look for work. I have had 4-5 interview options and could not take any of them because of me being so far away. I hate it in UTAH, job or no job I hate UTAH Truck ripped off twice. Lost home, lost Marriage, lost kids, room I had there was ripped off for all the food when I left and I just cant live like this anymore. I am drinking daily to hide all the pain. Christmas was sleeping in truck on the way back to home. I have never had a worse year or 5 months in my life and I thought that going there was going to improve my life. It only made it worse 10fold and no end in sight. Everyone says for me to buck up. Well I have and have tried by renting a room in UTAH, cold and lonely and a shared bath and kitchen and living like a bum making good money because I have to drive back to cali once a month because of probation issues. I LOVE MY WIFE, FORK!!!!!!! God I ask you why has all this taken place. I have tried over and over to do the best that I can by my kids and my wife. My brakes are out on the truck now far away and tires are low and I am low on funds. I just wish I would be allowed to go home. I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!


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## marshsc

I am here in cali. Got a storage. Gym membership to shower. Truck reg is due 500 and wife is demanding money I don't have. Just got a bill collector taking me to court on the 12th and I was supposed to go back to UTAh on the 3rd. So I am going out on disability again. But this time its till I find a new job.
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## marshsc

Forgot. I am not drinking anymore. A few days now. I have to recover or I am going to die like this
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## marshsc

I need advice. I will die in utah driving back and forth. In cali now. Wife did not pay house payment for dec. I called her lawyer since she is in house. Her mom just called and said" I just thought u should know the god damn house payment was paid and I hope u get drowned in a snowbank " and hung up
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## swedish

Do you have a lawyer? It really sounds like you are just going in circles with everything but I am glad to hear you stopped drinking...hang in there...I hope 2011 brings you stability, a new job, a new start so you can begin to look forward again.

And remember, her mom is only hearing her side of the story so take it with a grain of salt, ok?


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## marshsc

Thank u. I was just told they oked the modification on the house and payment is 2997. And the want one payment up front. I told her to sale the seadoo but she refuses eveything now. I could sale my truck to make the two payments needed fast and keep the house. But that would mean me go on disability and get room mates back in and find new jobs here fast.
I could do it and save my house. But I know she will not go for anything now as she won't talk. I have a court date set for her on the 12th to address this same issue. I am sure all will be lost when there is a chance to save. All I can do is pray
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## Brewster 59

I would be careful before giving your X money or giving her permission to sell items. It may not help your wifes disposition and you may just be out the money. 

Is the house upside down? if so it may be best to walk away, has the soon to be X ran up credit debt? if so it may be best to be unemployed during the divorce. 

If your X has already filed for divorce and has an attourney the odds of working anything out are slim and the divorce is alll about money and property division and if she has an attourney, if their is anyway you can get one you should do so or you risk getting really screwed.

Do not get suckered by the lets still be friends crap, or think things will be better if you are nice. Be true to yourself, people doing divorce amicalbly go through mediation or diy, once an attourney is involved it is an adversarial situation.


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## marshsc

Love ya. Long story. Yes she will kill me with out a thought. Sorry. Sons bday tofday anmd I sleep in thu ck again.
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## marshsc

I am in church. Told wife I was here. She is in denial of the mess that she has creatrd along with I. Take the house. Ask to do a mod on house and now there is no talk. Its all lost. Everything. I go back to UTAH empty and hurt. Court dates coming and I am in utah. I am forced to loose job in a way unless I can do remotely. Its all such a waste. Take house and move in kids alone and watch everything die. I feel dead. Its just so hard to take. One day at a time I guess.
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## marshsc

Living in truck from state to state with no home.How can one person do this to another and have no feelings in it. I am alone and empty and will set a goal till the end of jan and then start on my own here with nothing.
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## marshsc

I can't understand the destruction. What did she think was going to happen. Take everything and leave me to die. I hate UTAH. I miss home. I have one goal here. Get a job at home. Torrance. See my kids. Have a relationship that means something. I want it with one and one day when its all go she will look back and regret the love she lost as she only has it for her daughter and the kids and dogs. Been here a week and did not even see her. Its very sad
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## marshsc

Living in truck now.in the rain and snow.
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## marshsc

**** u wife
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## marshsc

I slept in the rain all night. Have to empty some stuff from my storage spot and dive to Utah. **** this. In probation office now just waiting. I hate my life
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## marshsc

I can't do utah anymore.
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## Fordsvt

First off-you need to stop using this site as a diary. You've noticed that you have not received to many responses. What's the history of issues before she left??
Jail for one...
Why did she kick you out??
Be more specific.


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## Powerbane

And what can we do to help guide you?


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## major misfit

Fordsvt said:


> First off-you need to stop using this site as a diary. You've noticed that you have not received to many responses. What's the history of issues before she left??
> Jail for one...
> Why did she kick you out??
> Be more specific.



I don't see the title of moderator under your username. That means you don't have the right to tell someone what or what not to do with this site. If admin has a problem with these posts, I'm sure they're perfectly capable of handling things. I've seen them do it. Really. 

OP...I've read each and every post you've made on this thread. I haven't offered any advice, b/c I don't have any to offer. In all honesty, you sound a lot like my ex. And that puts me at an immediate bias. Hope things work out for you.


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## marshsc

Well I went to utah and lived in a tent trailer for two months. She got a job here and was comfortable with the house my mov gave 30000 down on and room mates I left her with and her dogs and her daughter and her daughters boyfriend. She did not need me anymore. We were seperated 10 months and I was at my house. She came back a week before I left. I was nice she was evicted from fer apt. In the end. I am li ving in and out of truck. Used is what I c all it. So now I have a court date next week and then0 another to get me off a bull**** probation call that sheis using to keep me away. This was the plan all along. I will go into court next week to have probation reduced so I dant have to drive from utah to cali every month because that is 400 in gas and I can't rent and pay that. I have till feb 9 to keep position in utah as I am in cali now to take care of this court issue and a 10000 credt card court date she ran up with new laptop for her daughter and camera. My 16 year old left because she was mean to him. Lost custody of daughter over a bull domestic violence that her and her daughter teamed up and lied. Now this is the tool used to stay at house while it goes under and loose all. So I do court dates and go back. But I am looking for work here as an option. Its a mess for me not her. She sits at house while I liv e in truck. She could go to her moms but she would rather let me die on the street. That is my plan.
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## marshsc

She kicked me out so her dogs and her daughter and boyfriend could have run of the house. I talked here and two two girls in different states in same position o ver a 10 month seperation. That is why.
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## Fordsvt

major misfit said:


> I don't see the title of moderator under your username. That means you don't have the right to tell someone what or what not to do with this site. If admin has a problem with these posts, I'm sure they're perfectly capable of handling things. I've seen them do it. Really.


I think your missing the point.
How about tell the story in a clear concise manner so it's easy to make an informed suggestion.


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## marshsc

She sits in the house with a 4500 payment a month now. Pays 1500. Refuses to leave and reduce 10000 every 15days so I get something out of it.onlything I can do is exparte and force her out so it sales and all is not lost. She has me on prob ation where I have to drive back and forth to utah once a month I can't do it anymore. I have to ask court to move probation or I stay here in cali and live like a dog. I am trapped
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## marshsc

Fub
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## marshsc

Transition. Fork I hate my life. She has not been effected other than a move. I am devistated but doing the best I can day by day.
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## marshsc

I hate her. Lost kids. Lost house. Lost job. Lost dog. Lost friends. I hope u remember every night what u did to me as u sleep.
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## marshsc

To my wife I loved so much. Thank u
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## marshsc

I just wrote like a. Book and lost it
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## marshsc

U lived for kids and allowed anyrthing daughter said and stole all u could from camera to tape recorder to your moms chairs and dishes. I don't hate u. I despise what u let urself stoop to.
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## marshsc

PV does not mean **** besides u cheated ur way to the top as u told me ur brother would put in job and get u the class to save u. No effort in that other than pull. I don't hate u. I miss the real u I met long ago. She is gone
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## marshsc

U would rather let man that gave u bed and dogs die than help.
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## marshsc

I think god wants me to stay and ride it out. In truck or not.
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## marshsc

Erin. I love u. Miss u. Regreat all past. Remember AVI. The last week crying together. Sad it gone. I miss u.
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## marshsc

Erin. U so hurt me.
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## marshsc

Erin. U so hurt me. And now everything changed because u can't face what u have done
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## marshsc

But in the end. I will be ok. U will always remeber what u gave up for ur daughter. And paying thru those for dogs. U ****ed up. Bye
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marshsc

Ha ha.
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## marshsc

can some one tello me how to view who has viewed my posts< please


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## marshsc

Hold on tight. Its coming from all angles. Watch and learn.loved u. But I am past u. I am so much better away from u. Ur the train wreak. Watch mm. I tried. U lost. Money does not replace love. U will never have the love I gave. Drink up. I know u will. I am ok this time. Have a great night I will. Its all good
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## Powerbane

It's nice to see you in a little 'up' mood Marsh!


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## marshsc

Yes. Thank u. I think I just had to hit the point that its her loss. Even though I lov ed her more than ever. There are athers that will give what u get. She didn't and I al past it I feel. More to come. Ty again. Much love!!!
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## marshsc

Yes. I feel better. Sorry took so long. Really loved her
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## MarriedWifeInLove

Powerbane said:


> It's nice to see you in a little 'up' mood Marsh!


I don't know why but for some reason this really tickled my funny bone!


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## marshsc

Yep married is the word. LMAO
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## marshsc

Soon the reality will hit. I have already been thru the worst and actualy life is much better and had some fantastic days. 
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## Bcando

I have read through your "diary" and even though it is nice to see you a little bit more ...as one poster said "upbeat"...it sure seems as if you are still angry and a bit threatening?
Your a little wishy washy...I have read you "loved" her so much..but then you are into threatening her...
I have been there done that and you will get no where...especially with your own peace of mind...
After reading "ALL" your posts...it seems there were a lot of issues in the marriage to begin with...
Most about what you ""didn't do"...but the truth is written "in between the lines"..and you have somethings against you...even ones you admit...in not so many words....Move on...settle it as a gentleman...not the A-hole you are preceived to be...


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## marshsc

I I will move on once all is settled. But setling with ta thief is like working with a terrorist.


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## marshsc

Have u ever seen MAN ON FIRE?
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## marshsc

Dear X.its going to cost u what it costed me.
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## marshsc

I am still alive and will catch up slowely.


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## marshsc

First of all she is a thief and a Liar


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## marshsc

She calls me over and over now wanting to talk from a blocked # not happening. Complete honesty or nothing. What should I say. Thank you for forking me and my kids and my life under to the point I cant live. Not talking to you. You did all of this with your kids and you want to be all nice now. I have nothing to say at this point. Leave me alone.


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## Bcando

marshsc said:


> She calls me over and over now wanting to talk from a blocked # not happening..


Oh... she doesn't want to talk...she wants a divorce.. since you let the case be dismissed..pay your filing fee's...stop moaning about what she did and move on...I am sure you have done PLENTY..

She also calls because you call EVERYONE she knows..."harrassing" all of them...if you don't like the blocked number calls ...then don't do them yourself...

Yes I am on here as HER voice...


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## Catherine602

M are you drinking again?


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## marshsc

NO. I am surviving


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## keko

So what happened with the house? Who's name is it under and is she making payments to it?


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## Bobby5000

Good luck and our prayers are with you.


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