# Wife's Mid Life Crisis?



## confusedneedadvice (Jun 7, 2011)

Hoping to get some feedback form the members here. I'll try to be concise on the facts (Not too long)

Married 12 months, dated 3 years. Both Divorced prior.
Wife's father died last fall, had to put down her dog she had 11 years in Feb 2011.

She's a travel nurse. She took a contract in USVI, due to circumstances we were never able to visit each other during these weeks. Upon her return she was home 1.5 days. The first day she spent running errands, getting a pedciure with a friend and mother. Didn't see her til 5pm and she left noon the next day for her next trip. This is after I told her I took the whole day off to be with her. Wasted day.

Two weeks later I flew out to CA to see her. She indicated she needed the time in USVI to work through her grieving. She partied most every night. Everything she posted on facebook was another party. When I got to CA, she declairs that she know knows what she wants (Sexually) She was only focused on herself (Which is a 180 from the prior 4 years) She wants me to be aggressive. She got off but didn't care about me. It's like she's a teenager again.

My son and I came to visit her two weeks later. She indicated that she was going out with friends the day we arrived. When I told her that wasn't right..to ditch us the day we arrived. She got mad, but cancelled the night out. The next night she came home from work for 5 min, then went out with friends and stayed out til 430am. Texted her a couple times I was worried and was she ok. She texted me at 4am she's on her way. I was up all night worried about her and she just blew it off.

She is planning on going out the 3 and/or 4th night we are here...with friends to go dancing and drinking. Said she'll stay with girlfriends cuz she doesn't want to drink and drive. Got mad when i suggested she is putting her friends ahead of her family.

She says she doesnt have any friends back home who like to go out, cuz they all have kids and she doesn't. She's turned into a party girl. Even my 14 year old son asked why she goes out all the time and comes home so late.

Don't know what to do. I don't want to acuse her of cheating, but am not sure right now. Should my son and I just leave, cuz she's too busy with friends? When I try to talk with her, it's like talking to a 15 year old girl. All about her, her friends, the fact that she's happy now. Been apart since Feb 2, 2011. Saw her 1 day in april, 4 days in May, and here 3 days and seen her 5 minutes. (she did work two of those days. 10-10)

UPDATE: Talked with wife. Told her she is being selfish and acting like a rebelious teenager. First denial, then justification, then blaming me. Says she's happy. Said she would never do anything to jepordize the marriage. Last night she said we should go bowling after she's done working 10p. I said she was just doing this because there was not another better deal. Her party got pushed off to today. This morning she said she'd stop home after work 10pm, before she left for the party. It's a party at a friends house (Two females) and they are doing karaoke and drinking, so she's spending the night there, to avoid a DWI. Said she still didn't get it that she is putting her fun and friends in front of family. She denied it and tried to blame it on "my inscurities" She did clear her schedule for 1 week starting Monday. I said she should be wanting to come home from work and spend time with us. She says, youd just be ready to go to bed and she wants to unwind. Then she says either I am with her or against her


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

take your kid and go! Do not expose him any more to her destructive behavior and rejection.

Presume she is cheating and feeling no price for being incredibly disrespectful towards you and your kid.

Begin divorce action. 

Get tested for STDs.

Separate your finances.

She is a lost cause as a wife.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

^^^^ this

And if she realizes what she is doing, lay out the ground rules that need to be followed in order to make the marriage work. But unfortunately I don't think you will need to do that.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

You never mentioned her age, i am just curious. 

Be wary of any women that spends any sort of significant time away with you... having "new ideas" of sex. To me, this is a potential RED FLAG once you add in all the details about her going out all night when you are and are not around. She didn't wake up one day with an "epiphany" - more than likely she's come across some more experiences out there in the bedroom. Now you have no solid proof, but coupled with the fact that she doesn't seem to have time for you all of a sudden. The handwriting is all over the wall bro. This mistreated might be in a way to force your hand to split up, because she doesn't have the guts to call it quits.

I'd be on a flight this morning, without saying any more to her, and she'd have to beg my forgiveness for her behavior.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I just want to be sure you understand what this type of "going out" is all about. She likes to meet new, strange men. Many men every night. In a sexually charged atmosphere where EVERY man on the prowl for some action. Those men have every reason to believe the women there are looking for the same. Your wife, guaranteed, puts out the vibe that she's available and the men come to her like stink on ****. She eats it up. Parties, dances, slow dances surely. Minimum she's sucked face with a few. Those overnights at her "girlfriends"...you've got to be kidding me. The men surely come with. 

This has nothing to do with space, or freedom, or anything besides what it is. They don't call these places "meat markets" for nothing. Next time you are alone with her, scare the living crap out of her. She needs to stop this. NOW. And get your son away from this horrible, toxic woman. She'd rather have her ass grinding into some strange boy's crotch than spend time with her son. 

These nights out are cheating time. Full bore infidelity. Nip this in the bud NOW!!!


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## confusedneedadvice (Jun 7, 2011)

confusedneedadvice said:


> Hoping to get some feedback form the members here. I'll try to be concise on the facts (Not too long)
> 
> Married 12 months, dated 3 years. Both Divorced prior.
> Wife's father died last fall, had to put down her dog she had 11 years in Feb 2011.
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## confusedneedadvice (Jun 7, 2011)

Rob774 said:


> You never mentioned her age, i am just curious.
> 
> She turned 37in febq
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Yes. She is having a lot of sex with a lot of men.

Sorry. Bail out. This is the nightmare scenario.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

Duck and cover....


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## mikey11 (May 31, 2011)

so you are just waiting around and willing to take her back whenever she chooses she wants to come back?....lol....divorce....NOW!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Since she is in such denial, I strongly recommend a PI. For some reason it takes the full color of a picture with her and another man to make the DS realize how screwed up they are behaving.

I read about it time and time again...even thought the DS is out all night and gone all the time they will never ever admit to there bad behavior until the proof is stearing them in the face. Even then some DS will continue to deny, but for most when they realize that their behaviors is finaly exposed then the behavior can be addressed.

IDK it seem once the behavior is brought to the light of day then this crap can then move forward to either a divorse or a R.

So my advise is take the steps do your own investigation or hire someone to bring her behavior to light. Once you get her to accept the facts and the reality of her unhealthy behavior then the both of you can either fix or disolve the relationship

And by the way, of course she values the marriage where else is she going to get a free baby sitter. You offer security and stablity when she needs to recoupe from a night of ....well we all now what she's up to except for confusedneedadvice.

Please go get the proof that she needs to see what is really going on. Stop being managed by her! She is deep deep deep into fantasyland, so deep she stopped realizing that she bore a son.


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