# Feeling hopeless; first session tomorrow



## CherryBomb

So, I talked about the main issue here: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/40824-didnt-used-like.html#post609270.

I got really upset with him on Valentine's Day. I got all dressed up in high-heel leather boots and a miniskirt with red lipstick and pigtails, figuring that it would be a 'sure thing' and we'd have sex. (Sex on Valentine's Day is like a law, right?? ) Well, at 9:30pm after our date he declares he is tired and drops me off at home! We wound up in an argument about it afterwards; he insisted he didn't think I wanted "to be intimate" because we had gotten into an argument the day before. Something just kind of switched in me after years of trying to get our sex life back and feeling unwanted. Suddenly, I just didn't even want to see his face, much less subject myself to any more pity sex born of his feelings of obligation.

I have only seen him twice since Valentine's Day because I just wanted the space. I will be meeting him tomorrow for our first couples therapy appointment. I'm nervous. I don't know what to expect in the first session. I don't know if she can help us. How can I ever get my confidence back around him? Ugh.

He insists that he desires me and thinks about sex with me regularly and misses the sex life we had, but his actions over the past few years have spoke louder to me. His indifference towards sex has made me feel hopeless.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Has anyone tried therapy for something like this? Is there hope? I don't know. Any advice or works of encouragement and comfort are appreciated.


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## Fella81

wow read your post really feel bad for you....just you explaining how you took the time and got all derssed up in red yet geez my thoughts would be ask yourself what happened sounds like you guys use to hit off in the bedroom what changed how long have you been together? and just so you no your rite vday is the biggest sexual day of the year maybe he was serious about you guess arguein but if you were dressed like that wtf was he thinking dont really no much about the therpy part but i do no if both of you want the samething it will go fine keep your head and push on hope i helped you 

good luck......


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## 827Aug

I'm sorry I haven't read your other posts, but I'm wondering one thing.....Is he seeing someone else? Your date night sounds a lot like some I tried to have with my husband. Although he denied seeing someone else, his behavior was very similar to the way your husband is behaving towards you. And yes, my husband was seeing a lot of women.

Couples counseling did nothing for our situation. First, my husband only agreed to counseling for the sole purpose of getting an amicable divorce. Second, the therapist was incompetent. MC can work if both partners are there to sincerely work on the marriage. I later went to individual counseling and greatly benefited from it though.

Wish you the best.


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