# Silly dilemma



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Okay, first off, this will probably piss off those of you who don't have sex, or don't have good sex, so I apologize! To many of you, this might sound like a "first world problem"... 

For those of you who have read some of my posts, my wife and I have sex, and good sex, but it's 1-2 times a month, sometimes 3. Luckily, it's good enough that I don't complain TOO loudly.

The thing is, it's rarely "sexy" beforehand. It's rather planned (not forced), and there's very very rarely an element of excitement or surprise leading up to it. I crave these things. I SO wish it could be a fly by the seat of your pants thing, or in the moment, rather than "business time" (google "Flight of the Conchords, Business Time" if you're not familiar with it. Hilarious!)

So my dilemma is that. When it's business time, it's always good to great, sometimes mind-blowing, but it's almost always on the same night of the week (even the same time!) and there's never really any seduction. It's just implied that it's going to happen, and I already know that it will happen when I make my move. That's another thing, it's always started by me. On the odd occasion I am too tired or not feeling well, we will snuggle up in bed, but if I don't start kissing or caressing her, she won't take the lead.

So basically, the sex is boring, even though the ACTUAL sex is not boring, does that make sense?

She will have 2-5 O's every time, without fail. She will participate and reciprocate, it's not all about her. There are usually several position changes, a lot of alternating between oral and piv and hands, a lot of kissing. And it's different every time. Except for the actual day/time.

Basically, there's no challenge for me. I know it's going to happen (as long as I make it happen), and until we are both in the act, it's actually boring. I miss the anticipation and build up and excitement. It's like having xmas morning 3 times a month for the rest of your life. You no longer wake up excited to open your presents, even though opening your presents itself is still fun.

Yes, we have kids. (but they're self-sufficient enough that they don't need constant supervision). Yes we both work and are tired. There's not an unholy amount of stress in our lives. Yes, I have discussed it with her, and she doesn't disagree, but it never changes. She doesn't take charge (until we're into it, then we're both in charge, alternating), and she won't initiate. Some sort of mental block. Said she's never been like that. Her past, as some of you recall, is longer than mine, but because she was a sexually available woman, it always came to her, she never had to chase it.

My wife has never been a sexual being, outside of actually having sex. Get her into the act, and it's like porno. Seriously. I am content enough with the amount we have, because as I said, it's that good. I would rather it more often, but that's not going to happen. What I DO want/need, is the build-up and anticipation 

Is this uncommon?


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

alexm said:


> Okay, first off, this will probably piss off those of you who don't have sex, or don't have good sex, so I apologize! To many of you, this might sound like a "first world problem"...
> 
> For those of you who have read some of my posts, my wife and I have sex, and good sex, but it's 1-2 times a month, sometimes 3. Luckily, it's good enough that I don't complain TOO loudly.
> 
> ...


Wow, so not uncommon. I feel the same way about my husbnad. I always have had a difficult time initiating as well but love being with my husband as well. It's always great and at times gets boring as well. He will say let do it and I always say yes and it's always very nice but....... and we don't have sex that often. Maybe every two to three weeks. Sometimes when we are on a roll once a week.

But I totally get what you are saying. Just as in life, things I guess get boring. I have similar issues but from a women's perspective.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Our sex life isn't spontaneous much.it's rarely a surprise.But that works for us bc we both realize it doesn't really matter in the big picture.
He knows that when he gets home from work I will be in our bedroom naked and waiting for him. He would be more surprised to come home and find me preparing dinner first or lounging on the couch.

Try some flirtation through out the day.We text a lot of naughty stuff back and forth when we have time during our work days.Keeps sex on the brain so you're anticipating it all day.We're also very handsy during our weekends and evenings.VERY flirtatious and touchy all the time.
So while the sex is predictable it's also hot.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Our sex life isn't spontaneous much.it's rarely a surprise.But that works for us bc we both realize it doesn't really matter in the big picture.
> He knows that when he gets home from work I will be in our bedroom naked and waiting for him. He would be more surprised to come home and find me preparing dinner first or lounging on the couch.
> 
> Try some flirtation through out the day.We text a lot of naughty stuff back and forth when we have time during our work days.Keeps sex on the brain so you're anticipating it all day.We're also very handsy during our weekends and evenings.VERY flirtatious and touchy all the time.
> So while the sex is predictable it's also hot.


My sex life is more or less scheduled too. Not so much that it's penciled in on a calender or anything, but generally we have a predictable pattern of when we will have sex. It doesn't mean that it's not hot and boring in the least. I think more spontaneous sex will happen as the kids leave. Our kids are also self sufficient, but they still tend to interrupt in unpredictable ways. That's life with a wife and kids.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Does she have a history of sex abuse or sex assault?

How was she with you before you were engaged?

How was she with previous boyfriends?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

alexm said:


> *My wife has never been a sexual being*, outside of actually having sex. Get her into the act, and it's like porno. Seriously. I am content enough with the amount we have, because as I said, it's that good. I would rather it more often, but that's not going to happen. What I DO want/need, is the build-up and anticipation
> 
> Is this uncommon?


This is what I never understand about these threads -- you knew how she was when you married her and yet you expected her to change or be different? I don't get it. 

You said you have talked about ti and nothing changes so it seems the status quo will stick unless you leave her or she herself decides to make a change. It has to come from within her.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I think alexm has a few issues that will need to be resolved between him and his wife. TBH, I'm not sure what to make of the situation. She seems to like sex and has plenty of experience, but why only 1 - 2 times a month and she's so "to the point" yet so good at it makes it seem odd to me IMHO.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/137978-reasoning-behind-not-being-open-about-past.html


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I hate predictable scheduled sex! You make your moves, she makes her moves, you do this, then she does that... Yes it's good but it becomes boring! I need it to be new much more frequently than he does. I completely get how you feel.

Assuming you are into seduction and assuming you wish she would seduce you AND assuming she is (for whatever reason) inhibited about seducing you...

When she gets dressed in the morning, take away her bra and panties and instead insist she wear something else. Maybe a new bra/panty set you surprise her with, or something she already has. Tell her you plan to be thinking about her, in this sexy lingerie, all day long. Obviously don't pick out a red bra when she's wearing a white blouse!!!

Send her a text just before lunch and tell her take a pic of JUST her nipple, super close up, and send it back. Take a pic of your index finger and thumb in a pinch pose, showing a little bit of space between as the reply to her pic.

Once at home, keep showing her your finger and thumb in a pinch motion. Brush up against her as often as possible and pat her bottom in a possessive way. Remove her from the room with the kids and pull her blouse up (slowly as you just stare into her eyes with that manly determination) so you can see what she's wearing underneath. Pull the hair off the back of her neck and kiss her there. Whisper in her ear, "I want you tonight!"

You are slowly putting her mind on sex through out the day. 

So just writing that got me hot!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Why can't you just discuss it with her? "Hey baby...we need more flirting and fun times! Lets sit down and talk about some ways we can be sexy when we're not having sex."


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## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

What can YOU do differently? You say it is predictable, same days, time, implied it will happen. What if you approached things by mixing up your approach? Things otherwise sound good, so if she sees you doing something new, it is likely she will go with it. 

I am with Anon Pink on the "keep it on her mind all day" school of thought. If you stir things up, she might get worked up and things may be more spontaneous otr she may kinda take the lead from you.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I hope it didn't come across as me wanting HER to change! I'm not like that, at all.

But as Pink and yourself have said (with some great detail from Pink, lol! Hope you've calmed down by now!) I have tried some of these tips. The issue I've found is that she isn't in the mood until these more or less preset times. It's like she's off the clock from being a working mom, I guess! No hard feelings to her, it's justifiable, understandable, and not uncommon I gather.

I was more curious as to what others have done, or are doing to get out of this cycle.

It's funny, because the opposite was true of my ex wife. Unpredictable schedule, a little bit more often than with my current wife, sometimes just drop everything and go. BUT, it wasn't good sex (not for my lack of trying) and there was no passion from her end. I am MUCH happier now, trust me! But I do hope having an empty nest (someday... kids stay home so much later than they used to... sigh) will make a difference.




walkingwounded said:


> What can YOU do differently? You say it is predictable, same days, time, implied it will happen. What if you approached things by mixing up your approach? Things otherwise sound good, so if she sees you doing something new, it is likely she will go with it.
> 
> I am with Anon Pink on the "keep it on her mind all day" school of thought. If you stir things up, she might get worked up and things may be more spontaneous otr she may kinda take the lead from you.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> She seems to like sex and has plenty of experience, but why only 1 - 2 times a month and she's so "to the point" yet so good at it makes it seem odd to me IMHO.


Please explain...


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Jellybeans said:


> This is what I never understand about these threads -- you knew how she was when you married her and yet you expected her to change or be different? I don't get it.
> 
> You said you have talked about ti and nothing changes so it seems the status quo will stick unless you leave her or she herself decides to make a change. It has to come from within her.


Where did I say I expect a change from HER? I don't think that was even implied.

Furthermore, "how she is" sexually did not have much in the way of any reason that I married her. I love HER. The sex with her is great. It's not often enough, for MY tastes, but I believe I've made it clear that I've accepted that.

Not everybody is here because they are contemplating leaving their spouse because of something. I am here for advice in some threads, and tips for a healthy relationship in others. It's not always about "R" and "D" and infidelity and such.

We are great in all regards except when it comes to our communication. I talk too much, she talks too little. I have tried to get her to meet in the middle, but it ain't happening. She's happy with the way things are (as am I, save for this) and she's not hiding anything or covering up for something.

It bothers me enough to ask for advice, that's it. It's not something I would leave over, and it's not (yet) at a point where counselling is necessary. Not sure it'll ever get to that point, either.

Most of you "old dogs" have lots of great advice and things to say, but I find a lot of you quite jaded and negative at times. Reading the same stories over and over can't help, I understand that, but try not to assume that because the story is similar, or you've heard it before, that it's the same thing.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

alexm said:


> Please explain...


Just trying to help, don't think I deserve the sarcasm. Here goes: Your wife seems to talk pretty freely about her sexual past with her friends and others, yet you are the last to know about anything. You said in your other thread that she doesn't seem to be ashamed of her past, yet for some reason it's off limits to you knowing. You've experienced some situations where her past "came out" while you were there talking to with her best friend. To me, that comes across as her not having a whole lot of trust in your or maybe not respecting you enough to want to open up to you to allay your concerns.

On top of that, you two don't have much sex. When you do, the way you described it as it's like a switch turns on in her and she's ravenous, you two finish and she's done. Switch goes off and no more intimacy from what you wrote. My concern would be that she's maybe on into you sexually, but she can "get into character" for you once or twice a month. Maybe I assume too much and you never really meant it to come across like this.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Thor said:


> Does she have a history of sex abuse or sex assault? *Not that I know of, but it's possible. Happens to most women at some point, unfortunately. She had a wild past when she was in her late teens, early 20's, and from what I gather, it ended abruptly, and not because she met someone to settle down with. She dropped the friends she was hanging out with during those years, save for a couple of good ones. Made me wonder if she either had one bad experience too many, or she simply "woke up" and realized the unhealthiness of it all.*
> 
> How was she with you before you were engaged? *Same*
> 
> How was she with previous boyfriends? *From what little I know, pretty much the same. She did not speak glowingly of her ex (of 3 years) in the bedroom. Without a lot of detail, he was a wham-bam kind of guy. Any others, I haven't heard about in those regards. If it matters, she has outright said that she's never had as good sex as she's having with me, and that she was lucky to O even once in the past. With me, it's 2-5 times per session. I didn't ask her this, she volunteered it.*


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think some people are more sexually driven and excited and I think some people are not. It could be hard for someone who is not in that mind frame to be spontaneous. 

However those of us who do think about sex all the time have no issue with doing it anytime, anywhere. 

It just might not happen for her or you. Can you accept that?


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Just trying to help, don't think I deserve the sarcasm. *Sorry  *
> 
> Here goes: Your wife seems to talk pretty freely about her sexual past with her friends and others, yet you are the last to know about anything.
> 
> ...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

For the record... I took care of things and am better focused now.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

alexm said:


> Does she have a history of sex abuse or sex assault? Not that I know of, but it's possible. Happens to most women at some point, unfortunately. She had a wild past when she was in her late teens, early 20's, and from what I gather, it ended abruptly, and not because she met someone to settle down with. She dropped the friends she was hanging out with during those years, save for a couple of good ones. Made me wonder if she either had one bad experience too many, or she simply "woke up" and realized the unhealthiness of it all.


This is consistent with some form of abuse as a child involving sex. Though it is not at all 100% diagnostic. Just because she was sexually free as a teen/20's does not prove she was sexually abused.

The reverse, though, is common. The sexually abused girl will become very sexual as a teen and early 20's.

Your description of how she is now, plus how she suddenly stopped being so sexual in her 20's, is a bit worrisome that there is some form of trauma related to sex in her past. You can try bringing the subject up, but don't expect an honest answer.

Also, you're not her shrink. It is up to her to bring a healthy mindset to the relationship, not your responsibility to diagnose and cure her.

Having said all that, if there is a childhood sex trauma in her history it would explain her current attitudes. My wife is only capable of sex at 10 pm on Saturday nights. A drink or two helps a lot, too. Any kind of sex play at other times is either ignored by her or visibly makes her uneasy. Sexting, suggestive comments, jokes, etc. Yet once we get in bed she is fairly unrestrained (though not as unrestrained as she was before we were married).

It can be confusing. How is it she was so sexually free before, yet with her husband she is struggling? Having an answer does help understand it, but it does not fix it nor reduce the frustrations.

I think an indirect approach may be useful to you. Tell her you enjoy playfulness outside of the bedroom, yet she seems uncomfortable with it. Then STFU and let her talk. Ask questions, listen to her answers. If she says something, follow up with "what do you mean by that?", or "so it makes you uncomfortable?". Basically try to be the dispassionate reporter who is trying to get her to tell you stuff, but you have no agenda to tell her anything.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Your wife seems to talk pretty freely about her sexual past with her friends and others, yet you are the last to know about anything. You said in your other thread that she doesn't seem to be ashamed of her past, yet for some reason it's off limits to you knowing. You've experienced some situations where her past "came out" while you were there talking to with her best friend. To me, that comes across as her not having a whole lot of trust in your or maybe not respecting you enough to want to open up to you to allay your concerns.
> 
> On top of that, you two don't have much sex. When you do, the way you described it as it's like a switch turns on in her and she's ravenous, you two finish and she's done. Switch goes off and no more intimacy from what you wrote. My concern would be that she's maybe on into you sexually, but she can "get into character" for you once or twice a month. Maybe I assume too much and you never really meant it to come across like this.


Thanks for linking to his other thread about reasons for not opening up. I'd seen the thread but not connected it with this thread.

You point out some important things in your post quoted above, which worry me. There is a big gap in OP's marriage somewhere. She has some walls up which are not healthy.

alexm, you need to find out now everything which you want to find out. If you have a need to find out if she had group sex, for example, ask her now. Actually, what I recommend is that you start writing down in a secure place all your questions and concerns. Write down what you think may be a problematic activity (group sex on video?), vs what is not a problem (had sex with previous boyfriends alone in her apartment). Visit your journal regularly for about 2 or 3 weeks, adding to it but not erasing anything you wrote before.

You'll feel pretty confident in a short while what it is you need to know vs what you want to know vs what you have no interest in knowing.

Then you should sit her down and talk about it.

Why do I say all this? Because one of these days you're going to stumble on information and it is going to send you into a spiral. For me it was reading my wife's high school year books. It showed she lied to me about some things, and really misled me about others, and completely "forgot" to tell me about some things. Her reasoning was she did not know how I would react, i.e. she thought it would be beyond my limits if I found out.

Finding out now decades later makes it harder, not easier, to find these things out.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Anon Pink said:


> For the record... I took care of things and am better focused now.


lol!!!! :smthumbup:


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

No, I won't do any of that, but I do see your reasoning behind it. Thing is, if she didn't want to tell me anything that could hypothetically change the way I view her, then she's probably right in doing so. That wouldn't be fair for her.

I also don't think she did anything quite like that. Could be wrong, you never know, but there's nothing indicating she was THAT wild. And if she was, it's not my business.

Yes, the gap is in communication. I speak to her about that subject on a regular basis (without coming across as whiny or condescending, or anything negative - I think). We were together in our teenage years, and she was no different back then, either.. 

Fact of the matter is, I truly do not think her "wild" past was all that wild. She's had 4 long term relationships (2 of them with me), and about a year after we broke up after school where she didn't date, but had nsa, ons, casual sex. Then it stopped, she eventually got together with a guy for 3 years, broke up, and did the casual thing again (but not the bar scene) and dated a few guys here and there for a few weeks or months. Then into a one year relationship, back on the dating scene for another 2 years or so, then into a 3 year relationship that resulted in kids, and a jealous partner. Then a year off entirely (no sex, no partners), then me. It's obvious she was, um, easy, I guess, but that's about esteem more than sex. And that's why it's not an issue for me. Apart from that one year, it's not like she was bedding a new man every week, or even having sex constantly. There were long breaks in most cases. It's just that sex to her was what you do when you want somebody to stay with you. I believe that now that she's found me, she realizes she doesn't need to do that, and perhaps has taken it a little too far in that direction. As I've said, when we do have sex, it's usually great. That's partially because her experience has taught her much, and partially because it's relatively infrequent. Basically, the last 9 years of her life have been with 2 partners.

The other things I pick up on are her body language or sometimes even verbal language when it comes to sexual things that are "out of the ordinary". Her brother recently went through a short phase in which he was hooking up with swingers and/or multiple partners. Her reaction to that was "gross", and she wasn't okay with it. She couldn't understand why people do that in the first place. Told him as much. I also once asked her a few years ago if she'd be into videoing us one night... That didn't go over very well. The reaction seemed to indicate someone who would not be comfortable, nor ever was comfortable, with that. Not one of "been there, done that, didn't end well".

So in reality, nothing too much different than most people, men or women, in their 20's. The year doing the bar scene is the part she's not willing to discuss, nor are the various short relationships in between the long ones. And that's okay. People usually don't want to bring up the small mistakes they've made over the years. I'm sure there were lots of "I can't believe I dated/slept with that guy" moments, and those don't need to be rehashed for my sake. It added to her "number", and she's of the mindset that the number doesn't matter. I don't disagree, though I've always thought that if the number is low, one is more than happy to divulge what it is if asked. Higher than they'd like, then they pull the "none of your business" card. All good. C'est la vie.



Thor said:


> Thanks for linking to his other thread about reasons for not opening up. I'd seen the thread but not connected it with this thread.
> 
> You point out some important things in your post quoted above, which worry me. There is a big gap in OP's marriage somewhere. She has some walls up which are not healthy.
> 
> ...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

alexm said:


> I was more curious as to what others have done, or are doing to get out of this cycle.


My approach has always been to wait until she initiates or at least shows a receptive mood. It means a lot less sex than I would like, but it also means I know she's in the mood and the sex is generally better.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> ...He knows that when he gets home from work I will be in our bedroom naked and waiting for him. He would be more surprised to come home and find me preparing dinner first or lounging on the couch.
> 
> Try some flirtation through out the day.We text a lot of naughty stuff back and forth when we have time during our work days.Keeps sex on the brain so you're anticipating it all day.We're also very handsy during our weekends and evenings.VERY flirtatious and touchy all the time.
> So while the sex is predictable it's also hot.


YOU are an AWESOME and LOVING wife. Incredible!!!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> YOU are an AWESOME and LOVING wife. Incredible!!!


thanks  It helps that I get home from work a half hour earlier than he does.

He's a good man. He deserves my best.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

alexm said:


> Thing is, if she didn't want to tell me anything that could hypothetically change the way I view her, then she's probably right in doing so. That wouldn't be fair for her.


I really disagree with your statement there. If she intentionally hides her real self from you, it is not fair to *you*. You have the right to your opinions about a person's past actions. You have the right to know the true facts of who she is, which includes her past. She has the obligation to be truthful to you.

Rugsweeping only makes it worse when the real truth comes out later. It puts _everything_ into question for your entire relationship when you suddenly learn she intentionally hid something important from you.

It says a lot about her that she won't tell you the truth about her past.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Thor said:


> I really disagree with your statement there. If she intentionally hides her real self from you, it is not fair to *you*. You have the right to your opinions about a person's past actions. You have the right to know the true facts of who she is, which includes her past. She has the obligation to be truthful to you.
> 
> Rugsweeping only makes it worse when the real truth comes out later. It puts _everything_ into question for your entire relationship when you suddenly learn she intentionally hid something important from you.
> 
> It says a lot about her that she won't tell you the truth about her past.


Okay, let me rephrase: If she doesn't want to tell me, I don't want to know. That's the thing, I'm actually cool with that. Again, the whole issue is about being closed up. It's not what it's about that's the issue. And again, there are VERY few things one could have done in their past that could have prevented me from continuing in the relationship. It's also been long enough that we've been together, that really NOTHING about her past at this point will turn me away.

As for "hiding something important", give me an example. What could she, or anyone, have done in the past - with someone else - that could impact anything now, in the present?

FWIW, I actually think that if I were to sit her down and ask her to tell me everything, now, she would. At the beginning of the relationship, she didn't. Now that we're solid, and I've stuck with her, I honestly believe she'd (reluctantly) answer any questions I have. But that's the thing, I don't care anymore. I cared THEN, when I DID want to know what I was getting with her. I've told her as much, and she understands where I was coming from back in those days. We had a recent discussion about our relationship and how it was going (always good to check in with each other!) and I brought up that topic at one point, and I got out my old frustrations with her about how she reacted at that point. I told her exactly what it made me think, and she understood. I told her that I was out of bounds when I asked those questions, however it was coming from a place of wanting to know what's what, NOT prying into her life. Again, she understood.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

alexm said:


> As for "hiding something important", give me an example. What could she, or anyone, have done in the past - with someone else - that could impact anything now, in the present?


The list of possibilities is very long.

What if she was pregnant at some point? What if she adopted out the baby? What if she had an abortion? What if she had a number of miscarriages?

All of those things would have an impact on who she is today. If you are unaware of those facts you will not be in a position to accurately evaluate her reactions to situations. What if she becomes suddenly depressed due to a friend having a miscarriage?

Something serious such as child sex abuse will affect every aspect of her life. You would not be in a position to effectively deal with parenting problems, for example, if you do not know of her abuse history.

Furthermore, what is really a fundamental problem is that she hides important things. There are gaps in what you know. Large gaps. You do not know the real her. You only know the person she makes visible to you. This is not real intimacy.

If some fact comes to light in the future which is huge, it can throw your entire relationship into doubt. Plus, any little issues can take on the possibility of being far more than they appear to be. Because you know she hides and misleads about important past things, it becomes believable that she is hiding or misleading about something current.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Thor said:


> The list of possibilities is very long.
> 
> What if she was pregnant at some point? What if she adopted out the baby? What if she had an abortion? What if she had a number of miscarriages?
> 
> ...


*Well, maybe, maybe not. I still can't think of anything that she could have done in the past that would make me want to leave her now, despite your examples. If she, for example, had an abortion in her younger years, so what? I'm not opposed to them, and it would have been her choice. That kind of thing doesn't impact my relationship with her, and shouldn't. If she had a child and gave it up for adoption, that would have been her choice. 

I keep saying this, but there's not a lot of things that would have kept me from continuing our relationship going back then, and really nothing at all at this point. If she admitted, when we first started dating, that she was in the swinger lifestyle, I probably would have split. If it came out now, 5 years later, that she was into that before we started dating, meh. I wouldn't be thrilled to hear something like that, but it wouldn't make me divorce her.*


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## kilgore (Dec 14, 2012)

alexm said:


> Okay, first off, this will probably piss off those of you who don't have sex, or don't have good sex, so I apologize! To many of you, this might sound like a "first world problem"...
> 
> For those of you who have read some of my posts, my wife and I have sex, and good sex, but it's 1-2 times a month, sometimes 3. Luckily, it's good enough that I don't complain TOO loudly.
> 
> ...


i don't think you should complain


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