# My definition of a sexy alpha.



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I view an alpha male as the kind of man I'd like to have a chess like conversation with. A man who is smart and educated. His wit makes me curious. What is he talking about....I'd like to hear more. He disagrees with me and I do him. We spare verbally. He shows me with his intellect that he is brilliant. 
I have never been more turned on than from a man who bested me. He schooled me in epic fashion and it was the most incredible foreplay of all time and the hottest sex. It's like the sexiest dance, the Tango. Two people moving to the motion of each other. The foreplay, the mystery, it's all there. The moves are secondary, it's the build up. We danced that Tango and it was hot. 

If you want to be an Alpha, capture your wife by being interesting. Be the kind of guy that your wife wants to come home to and wants to hear. If you ignite passion between her ears, you ignite passion between her legs. You will dance the Tango.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

My wife’s best friend once told me, “why” my wife absolutely loved me was that I was the only guy who would call her out on her sh!t and challenge her. Because she was absolutely gorgeous, most guys just tolerated her actions and words. I didn’t, challenged her thoughts, and that was attractive to her.

Works for dating... Yet it sort of morphs. I believe that has more to do with our own personal baggage of what being “married” means: A married couple should be this way or that. A husband or wife should be this or that. 

So, I (we) defaulted to the old adage: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.

Once married, I picked my battles. Honestly, I shouldn’t have changed the rules between dating and marriage.... This is how alpha’s become beta: They change how they react based on relationship status and preconceived ideas of their roles rather than their gut. I didn’t agree with her, but didn’t challenge or try to change her mind out of respect for “keeping the peace” in the marriage; Something I wouldn’t do if we were just dating. It was the idea that it is “us” and giving to her my “self” that led down that road. So, this led to the downfall of how “attractive” I was to her. She was attracted to “me”, but I was trying to focus on “us”. I became more and more beta doormat trying to appease rather than sparing mentally with her. My excuse was only because I believed that is what a good husband should do.

So therein lies the conundrum; Women want a “good husband”. They also want someone confident and passionate about their ideals. Those two roles often conflict in marriage. It really comes down to the type of man you would date, and your expectations of how a good husband should be. If you are honest with yourself, are they defined as the same man?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Racer said:


> My wife’s best friend once told me, “why” my wife absolutely loved me was that I was the only guy who would call her out on her sh!t and challenge her. Because she was absolutely gorgeous, most guys just tolerated her actions and words. I didn’t, challenged her thoughts, and that was attractive to her.
> 
> Works for dating... Yet it sort of morphs. I believe that has more to do with our own personal baggage of what being “married” means: A married couple should be this way or that. A husband or wife should be this or that.
> 
> ...


I can only speak for myself. I don't want a yes man any more than I want a man who tries to change me. I want a man who challenges my convictions. Two equals with differing views but makes me think about everything I have ever held near and dear to my heart and I get to reevaluate. A discussion so changing that I would be willing to adopt a new viewpoint. 
Don't confuse yourself in to thinking Alpha is the guy who doesn't move and the beta is the guy who always does. Everybody (men and women) moves a bit and if they don't, they aren't worth any time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I like the man who challenges me but I also like when we can back down from each other sometimes too.

I'll take the alpha/beta balanced combo please and thank you,it gets my motor running


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Racer said:


> So therein lies the conundrum; Women want a “good husband”. They also want someone confident and passionate about their ideals. Those two roles often conflict in marriage. It really comes down to the type of man you would date, and your expectations of how a good husband should be. If you are honest with yourself, are they defined as the same man?


I suspect that many newly married men (and women for that matter) would benefit from realizing that their spouse getting mad at them is not always bad thing. Sometimes, enforcing your boundaries, even in a healthy way, will mean making your spouse mad.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

R,
The language below which I often see in various forms on TAM, is self emasculation. I know that you know that now, so this is for the folks that don't. 



>>>>>>>>>
So, I (we) defaulted to the old adage: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.





Racer said:


> My wife’s best friend once told me, “why” my wife absolutely loved me was that I was the only guy who would call her out on her sh!t and challenge her. Because she was absolutely gorgeous, most guys just tolerated her actions and words. I didn’t, challenged her thoughts, and that was attractive to her.
> 
> Works for dating... Yet it sort of morphs. I believe that has more to do with our own personal baggage of what being “married” means: A married couple should be this way or that. A husband or wife should be this or that.
> 
> ...


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

SPAR, TRBE... SPAR

spare is what you carry in your trunk 

Am I sexy alpha now?

:rofl:


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

My definition of a sexy alpha.

Posts under the name of WyshIknew in a forum called Talk About Marriage.

Do I win?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> If you want to be an Alpha, capture your wife by being interesting. Be the kind of guy that your wife wants to come home to and wants to hear. If you ignite passion between her ears, you ignite passion between her legs. You will dance the Tango.


I really like this description. 
Reminded me of one of your old threads.



MEM11363 said:


> R,
> The language below which I often see in various forms on TAM, is self emasculation. I know that you know that now, so this is for the folks that don't.
> 
> >>>>>>>>>
> So, I (we) defaulted to the old adage: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.


I remember when I used to nod and chuckle at statements like that.
Now if I hear a guy say something similar, I wince. It's like a tender old scar.


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