# Going through separation



## Raj2022 (7 mo ago)

I am going through separation forbthe 2nd time in my life. My first marriage was to my long time love which ended in 5 months as my in laws were very conservative and i am not. He raised his hand in the 1st 15 days which was the end for me of the 10 years worth relationship. Left that marriage to live my life. 2 years later my sister in law's brother came to my life and asked to marry me. I knew him, he was a good decent man. Said all the right things. I proceeded with my divorce to my 1st husband and got married to him in the 11th month. Then started the real scenario. He is a introvert and egoist. He would not talk for days and weeks. And when he talks, its after i bow my head and say sorry regardless of whose fault it is. I never wanted to live with in laws but his mother and brother started to live with us. Then his whole family was living with us. His sister in law was getting abused. His brother was an alcoholic. Being a child of an abusive alcoholic father i couldn't bear it. I gave him a choice to take care of his brother while i live with my mom. So he chose to ask his brother to leave. We kept on fighting and he kept on going away from me. No natter what we did, we could never have a normal conversation. We kept on hurting each other with words. Finally in November i couldn't keep quiet and supported his sister in law against his brother and mother. He couldn't tolerate that. I voiced my concerns that same thing will happen to me if things keep going this way. Left the house and lived with my mom. After some day i cooled off and wanted to go back. He didn't want me to. Kept on asking me not to come to his house. Ignoring his whims I went back to him. We did not talk for 20 days even in the same house. He would want space and more space. I felt loneliest and kept on asking him to talk to me. I gave my gold to pledge, gave my savings and more all in the name of supporting my husband. He kept on asking me what was my contribution even after all that. In the end he wanted to take a bigger loan on my name for which I said no. He was really taken aback and disappointed. And when i visited my mom again, we fought again and separated. Now i keep missing him and he doesn't. I am also not sure if I should fight to go back to him. I cannot trust him. I am so ashamed to face my family. Ibam so angry for why he has disturbed my life like this. I am so confused on how i will get over him again and how i will move on.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

You should not fight to get him back. This was unhealthy from the get go. 

You will get over him & you will move on because that is what people do. Try making a pros & cons list. When you finally see clearly how bad this is, that will propel you forward. 

Good luck.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Self respect and dignity is the key word here. You need to have those two in order for you to be able not to tolerate such disrespect and disregard toward you from your husband. We only live one short life, stop wasting yours on a relationship where you are nothing. Leave and divorce immediately.


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