# I told him I liked him when drunk and now I feel totally mortified.



## aroundtheworld9 (May 1, 2017)

I have seen a guy a few times at some gigs I go to where there is a regular crowd, and ever since I saw him I had a massive crush on him. He talked a lot the first night and a few of my friends commented they thought he found me attractive also because he kept looking, and he came back over to me at the end of the night to talk again. 

After that night I added him on Facebook and he accepted. I saw him again at an event on Friday night and he saw me, introduced me to his friend and told the story of the last event (how we met etc), and when he saw me he literally looked me up and down and kept looking at me again. 

So I got really drunk that night and after I left I sent him a message. I was surprised at how together it was baring in mind I was hammered, and I just said that I’ve had eyes for him since the moment I saw him and i’d love to get coffee with him if he was interested. I then went on to say I didn’t want to make it awkward as we were going to be at the same events and if he didn’t feel the same there were no hard feelings, and he replied back with “definitely not feeling uncomfortable, and I am truly flattered and love your straightforward approach, however, I’m taken.” 

I thought his response was really nice and it could have been a lot worse, but now I feel absolutely mortified because I’m supposed to be going to an event on Saturday that he will be at; and I honestly feel at this point I can never go to any events again that involve that crowd. 

I just have it in my head I totally embarrassed myself and he has probably told all his friends and it’s just not good and they probably just think of me now as totally cringe. 

I also found his message of emphasis on truly flattered and loved my approach as encouraging, but I think he was probably just being nice because I put myself out there. 

I know this probably sounds trivial, but I feel so upset about it all I’ve been depressed for days.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Eh, you took a shot and it missed. No big thing going forward, unless you keep contacting him knowing he is taken.


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## aroundtheworld9 (May 1, 2017)

Yeah but don’t you think his reply seemed cringe? I don’t know.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

aroundtheworld9 said:


> Yeah but don’t you think his reply seemed cringe? I don’t know.


No I thought his reply was perfect.


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## aroundtheworld9 (May 1, 2017)

But you agree he was just being nice, right?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

aroundtheworld9 said:


> But you agree he was just being nice, right?


Yep.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I thought his message was perfect too. No need to be embarrassed, just laugh it off and move on. I wouldn’t say anything to him about it except for a wave and a hi.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, he was just being nice.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You went for it just fine. Nothing wrong with your pass and his pass block was classy as well.

Neither of you have anything to be embarrassed about.

Everyone has awkward moments like this. I have dozens.😁

Keep on keeping on!


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

You had no idea he was taken, he was flirty, so you sent the message. NOTHING at all to be embarrassed about.
He responded well to you, and that's it. Don't beat yourself up. If you had done this KNOWING he was taken, then that would be a different story, but you didn't...


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

You dodged one. He was taken, yet looked you up and down and kept looking at you?


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

aroundtheworld9, I assume this is the same guy, same band as your earlier thread last December.

Now you have your answer on why he did not reply last time. 

Don't lose sleep over it.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

don't worry about it too much. A simple conversation thanking him for handling a delicate situation so well and it only proving why you needed to take your shot. Admit your a little embarrassed at the moment, but that too will pass and thank him again.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

manwithnoname said:


> You dodged one. He was taken, yet looked you up and down and kept looking at you?


They have a phrase for this. "Married, not dead" applies for both sexes. I think I would be a bit bothered if my wife never ever found any guy attractive. If she didn't find any other guy even remotely handsom at all? Never did a double take and say "oh he's cute!" I would start to wonder if she felt the same about me but was putting on an act. 

The other side is when you are a bit smitten, you read way to much into things. How many women complain about how men think they are into them and flirting just because she was being nice to him? Lol. Sometimes people aren't flirting at all, but when you are a little punch drunk with the hots for someone, you take every casual conversation as flirting. Other times, men and women do some harmless flirting with zero attraction or intentions to get with one another. Nothing wrong with that either. 


OP, you are fine. How many times have you done the asking out when you were unsure what the answer would be? You got rejected, not the end of the world. I wouldn't feel weird around you at all in his shoes. Unless You are acting weird about it. No reason to at all from what you wrote here. You were respectful, he was respectful, not a big deal. Act completely normal like it never happened. After that initial interaction is over, you will be fine. I think you are dreading the worst. If you act strange, you might create the worst yourself. Shrug it off. You didn't do anything to be embarrassed of at all.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

How many forums have you posted this to?


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> They have a phrase for this. "Married, not dead" applies for both sexes. I think I would be a bit bothered if my wife never ever found any guy attractive. If she didn't find any other guy even remotely handsom at all? Never did a double take and say "oh he's cute!" I would start to wonder if she felt the same about me but was putting on an act.
> 
> The other side is when you are a bit smitten, you read way to much into things. How many women complain about how men think they are into them and flirting just because she was being nice to him? Lol. Sometimes people aren't flirting at all, but when you are a little punch drunk with the hots for someone, you take every casual conversation as flirting. Other times, men and women do some harmless flirting with zero attraction or intentions to get with one another. Nothing wrong with that either.
> 
> ...


I agree with you point of people being attracted to others, but for a spouse to keep it to themselves out of respect.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

aroundtheworld9 said:


> Yeah but don’t you think his reply seemed cringe? I don’t know.


His reply was measured and polite and respectful. He could have simply ignored you and said nothing or been rude. You really have no need to feel embarrassed. You simply said what was on your mind to a nice guy and he accepted how you felt and regretted that he is taken. Now look elsewhere. is thi not how men feel all the time when we tell them we are taken?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Broken_in_Brooklyn said:


> aroundtheworld9, I assume this is the same guy, same band as your earlier thread last December.
> 
> Now you have your answer on why he did not reply last time.
> 
> Don't lose sleep over it.


I thought this story sounded familiar.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

aroundtheworld9 said:


> I saw him again at an event on Friday night and he saw me, introduced me to his friend and told the story of the last event (how we met etc), and when he saw me he literally looked me up and down and kept looking at me again.


 Well, you KNOW it must be _true_ _love _when some mouth-breather from a garage band is so classless that he blatantly looks a female up and down like he's eying a porterhouse steak on a meat hook. Be still my beating heart! And I'll assume you're very young OP, because you think that's actually flattering. Just shows you how classless this buffoon really is.

Surely you have better things to do than obsess over this ass-clown?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Well, you KNOW it must be _true_ _love _when some mouth-breather from a garage band is so classless that he blatantly looks a female up and down like he's eying a porterhouse steak on a meat hook. Be still my beating heart! And I'll assume you're very young OP, because you think that's actually flattering. Just shows you how classless this buffoon really is.
> 
> Surely you have better things to do than obsess over this ass-clown?


Wait just a minute!!!!

Are you trying to imply that women aren't there for me to appraise like choice cuts?????

Are you trying to spoil my world view????>


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

happens to guys all the time. You took a shot, and got shot down. I applaud you for trying. It isn’t personal he just isn’t interested. This won’t be a big deal next time you see him just say hi and be cordial. It will be less ackward than you think.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Well, you KNOW it must be _true_ _love _when some mouth-breather from a garage band is so classless that he blatantly looks a female up and down like he's eying a porterhouse steak on a meat hook. Be still my beating heart! And I'll assume you're very young OP, because you think that's actually flattering. Just shows you how classless this buffoon really is.
> 
> Surely you have better things to do than obsess over this ass-clown?


This could have been a lot worse.
He could have waited until she asked him out,then looked her up and down and said no.😳


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Andy1001 said:


> This could have been a lot worse.
> He could have waited until she asked him out,then looked her up and down and said no.😳


Quelle horreur!!

Could have been EVEN worse......he did all this while wearing a MAGA hat!


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

OnTheFly said:


> Quelle horreur!!
> 
> Could have been EVEN worse......he did all this while wearing a MAGA hat!


Or worse yet, a pink ***** hat.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

OnTheFly said:


> Quelle horreur!!
> 
> Could have been EVEN worse......he did all this while wearing a MAGA hat!


 Pffft.

That's the only thing I'd find good about him if he were. :grin2:


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