# She Comes First



## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I have seen several people here recommend "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner, and since the wife and I had the house to ourselves yesterday I decided to give it a read beforehand (actually, speed read as I was short on time). Very interesting read, at points a bit boring (gets a bit philosophical which I could give two craps about lol). Some of the items I read I knew about but others were new concepts. Well, I put the book to work and my wife give it an emphatic "2 Os up" :grin2:. Right after we were done she asked me right away where I got all those new tricks that I had added to my toolbag, so the gig was up pretty quick lol. Would definitely recommend.

- Cliff notes: The vagina is a very mysterious place ...


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Seconded. A worthy read.


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

Hmmmmm....should I purchase this on my Hs kindle and leave it open???


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

CatJayBird said:


> Hmmmmm....should I purchase this on my Hs kindle and leave it open???


Haha.

My wife actually asked me if there was an equivalent book for females, although I think the point is that it requires a lot less work/know-how when handling a guy.

I also did give my wife the below disclaimer after we were done:

"Past performance does not guarantee future results!"


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Haha.
> 
> My wife actually asked me if there was an equivalent book for females, although I think the point is that it requires a lot less work/know-how when handling a guy.
> 
> ...


I'm pretty sure he wrote a companion book for the ladies. There are several on the market from other authors also.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I treat Mrs.CuddleBug as my equal. She has access to all bank accounts, credit cards, line of credit, passwords, everything.

I lead, make decisions and get things done, but she is my equal.

I don't spoil her but I always help her without being asked. I just do it. Obviously I'm not taking away her dirty plate or drinking glass. But if I noticed the darks in the hamper need to be washed, I'll run them in the washer and same with the dishwasher getting full. Then she notices these things are done and is very grateful. I do stuff like this because we are a team and she is my equal.

Mrs.CuddleBug doesn't spoil me either but helps and gets things done.

I don't come first but she doesn't come first either.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

CuddleBug said:


> I treat Mrs.CuddleBug as my equal. She has access to all bank accounts, credit cards, line of credit, passwords, everything.
> 
> I lead, make decisions and get things done, but she is my equal.
> 
> ...


Lol huh? Guess you are reading the word "come" differently


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

A woman's orgasm is like voting. Early and often and you'll win.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> Haha.
> 
> My wife actually asked me if there was an equivalent book for females, "


There is but its only a few sentences.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> A woman's orgasm is like voting. Early and often and you'll win.


And if you push the wrong button, you could be in deep sh*t for years.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> There is but its only a few sentences.


I don't even thing a sentence would be needed, maybe just a couple pictures/drawings!


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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

are there pictures/diagrams that would not come across well on the kindle? No pun intended. And there are many books that are not well translated to the kindle for this reason so just want to know before considering buying.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't even thing a sentence would be needed, maybe just a couple pictures/drawings!


A few sentences and a bunch of pictures.
@Fozzy, beware the wrong button!


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

MRR said:


> are there pictures/diagrams that would not come across well on the kindle? No pun intended. And there are many books that are not well translated to the kindle for this reason so just want to know before considering buying.


I viewed using my Kindle App on my Android phone and everything came through fine (no pun intended ).


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't even thing a sentence would be needed, maybe just a couple pictures/drawings!


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

You guys are too funny. I'm cracking up here.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
it seems to vary a lot. My wife is "one and done". She somewhat loses interest after she has had hers - though she will generally try to do something for me. Tends to work better if she gets hers second if we can't manage simultaneous. 



Anon Pink said:


> A woman's orgasm is like voting. Early and often and you'll win.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Anon Pink said:


> A woman's orgasm is like voting. Early and often and you'll win.


Yes and no. If she wants one yes. If she really doesn't want one then no. Sometimes my wife either knows it isn't going to happen because of things she is worried about or because she would rather not devote that much time to clearing her mind and forcing herself to relax to the point that foreplay can get her there.

While I believe that She should come first if at all possible or desirable, it should not be to the point that it puts pressure to perform on her.

Just my 2 cents.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

she comes first is great unless she never returns the favor.

then its never mind.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It you both come often enough, it doesn't really matter who comes first - you both get yours, and perhaps second or even third helpings.

In our case, she can take a while to get there, so if I go first, she can then relax and have a bunch, and I can have another by then. Multiples for us both - win-win.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Lol huh? Guess you are reading the word "come" differently




Comes.......

Cums......

:grin2:


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## NoSizeQueen (Sep 9, 2015)

chillymorn said:


> she comes first is great unless she never returns the favor.
> 
> then its never mind.


That's why the name of his follow-up book is "He Comes Next"!


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

NoSizeQueen said:


> That's why the name of his follow-up book is "He Comes Next"!


Or sometimes:

"He Comes Alone"


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Or sometimes:
> 
> "He Comes Alone"


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

I own this book. I bought it and another book called "Blow Him....Away." Which is an opposite book. 

I gave them both to my husband for our anniversary two years ago. The Blow Him....Away was intended for me to read of course. 

I read them both. He read two random pages in the "She Comes First" book. He went down on me exactly once since reading that book and he didn't even try anything new. 

The Blow Him book had a lot of information in it. I was a bit disappointed, but also pleased to learn that there was only one technique that I had never tried before. It was a hand move and I implemented it immediately. 

I recommend both books. It could be a good refresher, like it was for me, to open up the door for some old forgotten moves. Or it could open up a whole new world for you if you haven't experimented much.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> Or sometimes:
> 
> "He Comes Alone"


One of the mantra's I said to myself during my sex starved marriage was inspired by Glover and it was "I am responsible for my happiness. My wife can make me happy, but I am responsible for making myself happy, not her." 

As they say "masturbation is having sex with someone who truly and will always love you."

:surprise:


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have never read the book, and as I am pushing the 50th anniversary mark I doubt if it ill do a great deal of good....

I had only limited experience with women when I encountered the woman I eventually married......

Getting into her bed took forever, and I determined to give as least as good as I got...

Going through my mental check list, I made it through all the steps of foreplay, and after installing the condom, I proceeded in my attempt to slay the dragon....

Knowing it could take hours??? I applied all the skill an 18 year old horn dog could muster, and commenced to enter the great unattainable...

Something was just not right.....While the sensations were beyond blissful, the object of my passion was behaving in a heretofore un encountered manner.....

Her breathing was rapid, her arms wrapped around me, and her hips began rolling like a boogie board in heavy surf...

After what seemed like seconds, but must have been at least 5 minutes, Her vocalizations changed from an un interrupted string of groans, moans and (ladylike) grunts to a long drawn out whispered declaration of undying love....over and over and over....

I had already cashed in my chips back at the boogie board, and was just trying to hang on.........

Rolling off to my side, I waited till her eyes were able to focus, and asked...

So, you ready for seconds? (Not really)....

Somehow Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world...

We had met....(Actually we were both too young to drink)....

From that day on, I would race to her apartment after work.....

We would collide just inside her kitchen door, and begin tearing off clothes....

Sometimes we would just hook up in the kitchen, standing in the middle of the floor....Sometimes we would make it to the big chair in the living room, and sometimes all the way to the bed......

I really miss that big chair....

I guess sometimes, two people meet, and just get it, from the first time....

So after 50 years, and thousands and thousands of orgasms....I think my wife would say....We'll pass on the book....

That was some great chair...:wink2:


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't even thing a sentence would be needed, maybe just a couple pictures/drawings!





Young at Heart said:


> Yes and no. If she wants one yes. If she really doesn't want one then no. Sometimes my wife either knows it isn't going to happen because of things she is worried about or because she would rather not devote that much time to clearing her mind and forcing herself to relax to the point that foreplay can get her there.
> 
> While I believe that She should come first if at all possible or desirable, it should not be to the point that it puts pressure to perform on her.
> 
> Just my 2 cents.



If I wrote a book, it would be called, "Nobody Comes First" and it would be just about fiendish teasing. Then my companion books would be, "...Oh You Very Bad Boy!" and "...Oh You Very Bad Girl!"

>

Badsanta


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

I've never read that book, but I agree it is nice to cum first. Being the lady that I am, I think of course I would think that, but it does seem to heighten my experience with PIV afterwards, and make me "hungry" enough that my H is glad he indulged me a little. If geting yours first is what you like then go for it, if getting your 2nd is what you like go for it. Do what works for you. Thats just want works for me.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Haha.
> 
> My wife actually asked me if there was an equivalent book for females, although I think the point is that it requires a lot less work/know-how when handling a guy.


Depends on the guy. Some are not easy to handle or they have specific needs and preferences, just like some women.

http://www.amazon.com/Tickle-His-Pickle-Hands-On-Pleasing-ebook/dp/B0096CG0L6


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> Depends on the guy. Some are not easy to handle or they have specific needs and preferences, just like some women.
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Tickle-His-Pickle-Hands-On-Pleasing-ebook/dp/B0096CG0L6


Yeah, honestly I am not too hard to please and my wife never has issues giving me a bj as often as needed, so really no complaints there. However, if she wants more in her arsenal to tickle my pickle I ain't gonna stop her


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Since she asked if there's a book for women, why not put it in her stocking for xmas?


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> Since she asked if there's a book for women, why not put it in her stocking for xmas?


I should probably pick a better spot to place it, my kids are more likely to get into her stocking before she does, not quite ready to have that talk with them or why Daddy is always trying to rush them to bed lol.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

That's why married couples need a special, separate stocking to hang in the bedroom to put in xxxmas presents.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> That's why married couples need a special, separate stocking to hang in the bedroom to put in xxxmas presents.


Which actually reminds me, in my wife's nightstand one of the drawers has an assortment of "toys & such". A few years ago one of my sons (I think he was probably about 4 or so then) started rummaging through her nightstand, it was impressive how quickly my wife leapt into action to protect that drawer lol.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Does this book have any tips for anything other than oral on a woman. My wife has a real aversion to receiving oral.


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## woodyh (Oct 23, 2015)

Mine never asks for it and it always resistant to me going down on her. Usually, when I get started though, she enjoys it. Wish she was more open to receiving and even ask for it occasionally.
I think most men enjoy giving oral to their wife.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

for my wife, an orgasm triggers her ability to have orgasms from PIV sex. we have never read the book, but I have learned a lot of ways to clear her mind, turn her on, get her to O, etc.

sometimes I get a little carried away though. I am capable of having multiple orgasms without a refractory period, each one taking a bit longer than the last and being more powerful. usually, I stop at three. that's about the point where my wife starts to get exhausted and lose her coherence. if I keep going till five or more(rare), she usually passes out at some point. then again, so do I...

that's the kind of difference that foreplay makes for us. no foreplay means no orgasms for her and usually one for me. add foreplay into the mix and she might go half an hour with back to back orgasms, and I come several times too. 

making sure she comes first is a win win....

win...win... WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!!!!!!!


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

I got he book last spring and found it interesting, nothing really new though. Wife hadn't seen it until one night I brought it to bed and was reading. After a few minutes she asked what I was into and I showed her the cover. She was immediately quite interested and then asked to read the back cover. 

As she is reading the back I see her smile go blank and then turn down. She then says "so this whole book is about licking me?" With great disappointment on her face. 

I have not opened it since.


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## thebirdman (Apr 5, 2014)

I got, "OMG! Where did you learn to do that!?" I'd call it a win. Good book.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I dont know of its a good book or not. My wife wont let me practice what I have read.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pumpk1n (Dec 16, 2015)

I read a review that mentions that the philosophical part was actually helpful. I wonder if it would help someone who believes that their "performance" has to do with how long they last during PIV as opposed to... other things.


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