# Tit for tit for tit for TAT!



## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

I was only married for a year, well we still are. Me and my husband we're together for 5 1/2 years. We have two young children. We have only been separated for a month and he begged for two weeks. Went to counseling for one week. Said he accepted it, then went back to being angry. Then for a week and a half he made it seem like he was doing just fine.. and this pleased me. I never wish bad on him but it seems like he wants me to crumble. I moved out from my sis's apt and now I finally have my own place. Ever since I got my own place his whole attitude has changed. His card got stolen he went far to say that It was me and now the police are investigating. I know he's jealous, he's always been controlling so I kNOW he's having a hard time.

The physical abuse was lingering in our relationship but of course I'm not around to get hit. But his words hurt me so much. I wish he could just move on but still be around for his kids. he makes me feel so powerless and no matter how easy I try to make this for him he is trying all he can to make sure I don't succeed. Even when before I left him he would tell me "your never going to be anything"..."your just a little girl".."you could never be by yourself",,"your stupid and dumb and you always will be" "I'm the only one who loves you"...

Those arent even the worse I've heard form him, I just want to be able to be civil with him so are kids don't end up getting hurt in all of this. My son is already acting out against both of us. I don't know how to talk to him without arguing. I dont know how to stand my ground without him acting like a big azz BRAT control freak! I don't want another screaming match. I just want peace and stability for everyone! I know he'll never respect me, but he needs to hear me and realize he cannot run my life. How can someone say they love you but wish bad on you??


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## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

I know it's hard when there are children involved, but........tell him you'll only talk to him if it's about the children and if he'll be civil. If he gets abusive, verbally or physically, leave...hang up the phone...etc...

If all else fails....get a restraining order.


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## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

Right now he's in his sweet stage, appearing civil. i just hope he can keep up this "act" untill our kids B-day party. I just want to make it through the bday party then I dont have to converse with him unless there is something he needs to know. After all the hell he put me through on monday (his card was stolen and he told them they should investigate me)....he had the nerve to say "I love you" at the end of us trying to sort all of this out on the phone. I just hung up, I wanted to come through the phonE!!!


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## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

Lostandconfused said:


> :iagree:
> 
> And ... document, document, document. Everything, his actions, his words, the times, the place, who was there, everything. IF this continues you will have to use the court to end it. I can't imagine they will allow him to continue to see his children if this is how he's acting/speaking in front of them.
> 
> ...



I'm trying to do this without the court but it looks like I might have to go there with him.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

And ... document, document, document. Everything, his actions, his words, the times, the place, who was there, everything.

been there, done that. eight long years. DOCUMENT IT.


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## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

Thanx for the advice, I started documenting today. because I can see he is being very petty like asking ME for the money he had to use to feed HIS OWN children dinner because I had to work late and he had to get them from school on my day to have them. Even though I picked them up from him. I told him if thats the case I will only work till 5 and he doesnt have to go get them or feed them. he still is not satisfied. So now I'm gonna document the times he ask me to keep them on the weekend when he has something to do. I DONT HAVE A PROB if I'm asked with notice and I'm not busy. If he wants to be petty so can I....I have a feeling he's gonna try to say he has them more than me if we do have to go to court!


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