# Ladies: How often do you truly want sex?



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Not how often are you willing to have sex if he initiates, or because you planned it.

How often do you actually crave sex, for your own sake and satisfaction?

I really think it could help a lot of guys on here understand, from the female perspective, how often some of the women out here actually want sex for sex sake.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Depends on time of month, wish men would 'get that'.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

indiecat said:


> Depends on time of month, wish men would 'get that'.


That doesn't answer the question. This isn't a thread about what men need to "get". It's a simple question about frequency of desire. 

Care to actually offer some specifics related to the topic at hand?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

3 times a week with the odd BJ thrown in.
H and I are 7 months into R so we went through about 3 months of hyper bonding but we seem to have settled down now!
I'm happy with this amount but I don't resist too much if he wants more!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Great idea for a thread. I am curious as to how the responses go. If I were a betting man, I'd say the average is once per week.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

When we're on vacation and do it every day or twice a day, that's about right. I can't get into it that often at home, but about every second day would probably be right. On weekends I like it twice a day both days to make up for all week when I usually don't get any. I usually only get it once a day on weekends though, which leaves me wanting it all week again.

It isn't just sex or an orgasm I want, though. It's my husband. If I don't get to have him, I wait, rather than use a vibrator or something. Usually.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

It depends on my mood and if my partner puts me in the mood. Generally 2-4 times a week depending on my schedule on my own....but if my partner starts kissing and pytting the moves on me I rarely say no.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

' It isn't just sex or an orgasm I want, though. It's my husband. If I don't get to have him, I wait, rather than use a vibrator or something. Usually.'
Same here hope. It's the closeness to my H that I like'
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

If work is normal work week 5-6 times
I working 16 hour days 2-3 times (quickies)
when ovulating 2-3 times a day


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

I don't crave sex at all right now for my "own sake and satisfaction." Honestly, my sex drive is so dead at this point in time that I don't think I'd miss sex if I never had it again. For me, I think this is due to a combination of factors--taking a low-dose antidepressant, breastfeeding, homeschooling, and caring for four young children day in and day out while I work part-time from home. At this point in my life I am so tired/overwhelmed that I would rather do my hair (for once during the week) or recharge by myself rather than have sex. 

However, I'm not happy about my lack of drive, and I know it's a problem. I think (hope) that if I COULD get some time to myself I would feel more sexy. But it's hard to think about sex (for me at least) when I'm in survival mode all the time. And there's my brutally honest answer.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Honestly? I have no drive at all anymore.


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

1-3 times a day.


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## RunawayP (Sep 28, 2012)

Daily


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

momtwo4 said:


> I don't crave sex at all right now for my "own sake and satisfaction." Honestly, my sex drive is so dead at this point in time that I don't think I'd miss sex if I never had it again. For me, I think this is due to a combination of factors--taking a low-dose antidepressant, breastfeeding, homeschooling, and caring for four young children day in and day out while I work part-time from home. At this point in my life I am so tired/overwhelmed that I would rather do my hair (for once during the week) or recharge by myself rather than have sex.
> 
> However, I'm not happy about my lack of drive, and I know it's a problem. I think (hope) that if I COULD get some time to myself I would feel more sexy. But it's hard to think about sex (for me at least) when I'm in survival mode all the time. And there's my brutally honest answer.


Gee sounds like my wife minus the young kids


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

indiecat said:


> Depends on time of month, wish men would 'get that'.


This is so true. When I am ovulating I cant get enough.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

jaquen said:


> That doesn't answer the question. This isn't a thread about what men need to "get". It's a simple question about frequency of desire.
> 
> Care to actually offer some specifics related to the topic at hand?


It's perfectly reasonable to answer your question with 'it depends'. Things change, lots of women's desire fluctuates depending on where they are in their cycle.

For me, I can't say, yes, once per day/week/month or whatever. It's not regular like that. 

If I had to put a number on how many times I felt spntaneous desire in the absence of my husband dong something to elicit it, I would say two/three times a week, more often around ovulation.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

I WANT sex every single day. Haven't had it in a few months, though. The sex we do have is pretty bad so I have become accustomed to taking care of myself.

Now CRAVE, as in I really NEED it, that would be about 3 times per week. 

Personally, I really enjoy sex during my period, hubby refuses though.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think about sex every day.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

WANT it a minimum of 3 times a week. I GET it once a week... the last couple weeks it hasn't been even that frequent though. 
But that is because of his back. His doctor finally ordered physical therapy... he feels better during and for an hour or two after, but then it starts hurting BAD again. 

Oh, and IDK if I'm weird or what, but I want it right after my period. I always want it the day before I start (tho I don't always know I will be starting the next day lol. And ALWAYS the day after. I hope he's up to it in a couple days....


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Right now at this point in my life I think about sex a lot and would be happy having it daily. 

The reality is I am having it a lot less, only on the days I am with my SO but at those times we can do it 2 or 3 times. We do engage in phone sex and mutual masturbation though which is enjoyable. 

When I have my period then I do what I can for him if it is the first couple of days, I crave him and like giving him BJ's  In the last part of my period we have sex.

In my marriage to a LD man I had sex rarely and I'm not talking once a month, it was far less than that. I had to turn my sex drive off to survive, it killed our marriage.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

How often does a 13 year old boy think about sex....that's probably how much I want/need it. 

I do have a couple of days when it's that time, I just don't want to be touched. The mere thought makes my skin crawl. Husband picks right up on that and starts getting involved with my breasts. 

I just wanna jump outta myself. He just has to settle for the most awesome blow job. 

But it's rare I don't want sex or think about sex. He got a blow job yesterday morning, and it's been on my mind since, like every 5 minutes. Grrr


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Being 100% honest.

I really only have that spontaneous desire (I need it now!) About 1-3 days a month. I have to assume that it is linked to ovulation, although I don't track it. On those days, I can easily go 3-4 times in a day.

Outside of that time, I have zero desire. My H has to do some work to get me in the mood. Usually, he doesn't approach me for sex, even though I know he wants it more often than me, so in trying to be a good wife I write myself a mental note to initiate every X number of days. The thing is, I know H can tell when I am coming from a place of spontaneous desire vs. the remind-myself-to-do-it sex. No matter how much I act like I am into it, my body doesn't even cooperate the same way, not as wet and can rarely O. So, I think he really just prefers to wait for my peak time when he knows my desire is more....genuine? I dunno.

I look forward to those 1-3 days every month. I went off BC because on BC, I had zero drive period. It seems kikemy natural body state is to still have low drive except for that time, but at least off BC I get those couple of days I didn't get before.

Before I had kids, my health was much better (mental and physical) and I wanted sex at least once a week. After kids, I am exhausted and feel like sh!t much of the time, suffering from a number of physical and mental ailments and it really makes it near impossible for me to fully enjoy sex.

H knows I am not OK and I am fairly sure that is why he won't initiate ever, and waits for me to do it. Makes me sad though because if I knew he desired me, it would help get me in the mood. I have told him as much, but he still never initiates so I have to think either he doesn't listen, he doesn't have desire, or he is lazy. Don't know what it is. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> I think about sex every day.


Oh, me too!
To bad I can't have it. lol.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Every day.... all those years (23) with ex, once a week was never enough. Never thought I'd be 49 and getting plenty and loving every minute! 

Life is good!!!!


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Any more than about 3 days without sex and I start getting crabby. I'm happy with some sort of sex-play most days.

Have to admit...I don't relate when people talk about stress and life commitments putting them off sex. I find sex is a great distraction to life troubles and the stress release is unbeatable.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I want sex daily.

We make love 3-4 times a week, at least twice a day if we are on vacation.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Trenton - ya know your post has me wondering.... I don't know if I'm able to differentiate between physically wanting and emotionally wanting.

I just want  

Hummmm....:scratchhead:


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Yep.. give me a pat on the arse and i'm ready to go!

But then I spend my whole life in the physical world. I have physical hobbies, a physical job. I'm a active relaxer.
Even my books relate to what I do physically.

So i think you may be right! 

Here have a wine on me :toast:


(friday evening here... in case I'm drinking wine while your eating your cornflakes lol )


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> This is so true. When I am ovulating I cant get enough.


I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE when she is ovulating....by far my favorite time to do whatever she wants to do in the bedroom!!!!!!


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## GinnyTonia (Jul 31, 2012)

Practically speaking, I think having sex every other day would be great. 
In reality, I want it pretty badly every day. 
I'm not in a good relationship, so I don't know how all this would play out realistically. 
I'm in my mid-thirties.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Trenton said:


> I'm about 60% emotional, 30% cerebral and 10% physical.


I haven't had my coffee yet, so I may be missing the point, what's the difference between emotional and cerebral?


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Lyris said:


> It's perfectly reasonable to answer your question with 'it depends'. Things change, lots of women's desire fluctuates depending on where they are in their cycle.


That was not a perfectly reasonable answer to my question. 

This is a perfectly reasonable response:



Lyris said:


> For me, I can't say, yes, once per day/week/month or whatever. It's not regular like that.
> If I had to put a number on how many times I felt spontaneous desire in the absence of my husband dong something to elicit it, I would say two/three times a week, more often around ovulation.


You actually addressed the fluctuation, and proceeded to answer the question within that context. You contributed to the point of the thread, which I thank you for. You didn't roll up in a thread offering absolutely no details, in a thread asking for specifics, and then give a quick man bash about wishing men would "get" what you didn't even bother to expound on.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

4 - 5 times. Certainly on Fri, Sat, Sun and a couple of nights during the week thrown in when we can get kids to bed and don't have other committments.


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## mountainmaniac (Oct 5, 2012)

Can I speak for my wife?? (she would NEVER participate in a forum like this...hence the reason I have begun!).

3x/week is "acceptable" but just from a "willing to participate/put out" perspective. She only desires an orgasm 1x/every 6 weeks or so.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> I haven't had my coffee yet, so I may be missing the point, what's the difference between emotional and cerebral?


Thoughts and feelings. Intellectual thinking...emotional thinking.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

waiwera said:


> Have to admit...I don't relate when people talk about stress and life commitments putting them off sex. I find sex is a great distraction to life troubles and the stress release is unbeatable.


:iagree: I'm not sure why the women I've known (except for one) don't feel this way. I personally find the stress release a huge plus and in no way does this lessen the romantic significance of making love. If I'm in love, making love ALWAYS makes me feel closer to my partner, allowing me to put the rest of life in perspective. As long as I have a loving partner to share things with, stresses of the world don't seem all that stressful.


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## TheMonogamista (Oct 5, 2012)

I think I naturally want it a lot. I go through periods of wanting sexual release with my husband at least three times a day, sometimes more even. And the more I get, the more I want. But if I feel hurt or betrayed or not listened to or spoken roughly to, it puts out my sexual fire just like that. I'm sensitive in that way. I can't separate my sex drive from my emotions. They're completely intertwined.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

TheMonogamista said:


> I think I naturally want it a lot. I go through periods of wanting sexual release with my husband at least three times a day, sometimes more even. And the more I get, the more I want. But if I feel hurt or betrayed or not listened to or spoken roughly to, it puts out my sexual fire just like that. I'm sensitive in that way. I can't separate my sex drive from my emotions. They're completely intertwined.


Oh my ! Your husband is very 
Iucky !!


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Ok, I'll play nice. Crave....a couple times a week, 2 times a day during ovulation!


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

jaquen said:


> That was not a perfectly reasonable answer to my question.
> 
> This is a perfectly reasonable response:
> 
> ...


Asking a question on a forum like this and specifying the types of responses you want is annoying. Only mildly annoying, but it makes you come off as pompous and controlling. 

Anyway, I see you've been banned, so see you in a week!


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Daily


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Not how often are you willing to have sex if he initiates, or because you planned it.
> 
> How often do you actually crave sex, for your own sake and satisfaction?
> 
> I really think it could help a lot of guys on here understand, from the female perspective, how often some of the women out here actually want sex for sex sake.


I crave an orgasm every day. If I'm single,I find myself craving sex maybe a few times a week...then it passes
I've been all over the board with my sexual cravings while in a relationship.With my exhusband I was really LD bc he wasn't meeting my emotional needs even though we discussed it and went to MC to try and fix it. With my exSO I wanted it every single day,not just for the orgasms


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I have times when I want it daily, times when 1X a week satisfies me and all things in between. So many variables go into it. Time of the month, my mood, my husband's mood, stress level, energy level, how often I work out, etc.

For the record I love sex so all my husband has to do is initiate and I'm totally game.


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

This is my first post..gotta start somewhere right?

In my mind there are 2 answers to this question..before we had kids, all the time, probably every day more than once or every other day (I used to always be horny as hell, hubby loved it). After I had our son, my sex drive took a nose dive, but leveled out after about a year. I just had our daughter 4 weeks ago so I'm not sure what it's going to do this time but it'd be really nice if I went back to wanting it all the time..highly unlikely though.


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## CO_MOM (Sep 14, 2012)

I would like it everyday, or more right now, but my husband says he usually needs at least a day in between to recover...he says I have the drive he had when we first got together when he was 17, and I think he may be right!


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

All day.. Everyday!

Im a b*tch when I don't get any. The key to my good mood is sex sex sex!!!


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