# New Here..husband of 3 1/2 years is an acloholic



## MD1963 (Nov 7, 2010)

I should have really 'heard' him when he told me while dating that he had his 'drinking under control'. He never drank around me until we were married, and then the fun began. Top that off with a crazy ex wife (yes- I am sure he helped her get there) and one of the vialest teenage girls- his daughter- that I ever met, and it has been a disaster.

I am devastated..hurt beyond words..but it comes out as anger..I feel kind of lost. He is in denial..he wont leave the house and neither will I. I am furious he brought this into my life..and now I want to make him 'pay'. He is so indifferent now to my feelings that that aners me even more!!

Its a no win situation and there doesnt seem to be much help or advice....

This simply sucks..


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Im sorry you're gong through this. There is a great support group called Alanon you can look in to. Alanon is for family and friends of alcoholics. You will find people there that know what you are going through and can relate to you. I went to some meetings myself and found the advice extremely helpful. 

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen


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## MD1963 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi Blanca, thanks for the response. I know of AlAnon quite well...though I haven't been in many years.. might be something I should check out again. I am currently seeing a counselor. 

I had 12 years sobriety myself when I met my husband. After we married and he started to drink heavily, and we started to have extreme issues withhis ex and daughter, I drank too. That went on for 14 months and was a nightmare. I am now 1 1/2 years sober again and it has not been easy with his drinking...but I never want to go back there! 
I took my wedding rings off today. i asked him to take his off tonight. He wouldnt. He doesn't know that I have though I told him I was going to. Between his continued drinking, and his refusal to see that no -now 18 year old girl- should ever say the things she has called me and said to me- and "while she's sorry it happened- she's not sorry she did it"..I have at LEAST come to the realization, that I deserve better than that. 
I have patiently tried to deal with his drinkin..but I think may patience is all done.
I will consider AlAnon..
Thanks for responding.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

its not really surprising that he's not asking his daughter to be accountable for her behavior. You expect as much from others as you expect from yourself. But in all of this im extremely sorry for his daughter. She has probably never in her life witnessed a healthy relationship or known what it means to be loved. i dont mean to be offensive, but considering the level of disfunction she has had to endure her behavior is not surprising. children are only a reflection of their environment. You might consider taking her to alanon with you to give her a slim chance at happiness.


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## rebecca1 (Nov 6, 2010)

While I do not know what your step-daughter said to you I must say this. Even though she is 18 she has prob not really grown up yet. Take that with the fact that she most likely grew up in a dysfunctional family I think you should try to forgive her. While what she said was hurtful it was probably stemming from her own pain, remember she has most likely dealt with the same problems from her Dad her entire life, so the frustration and anger you have she does as well, but she also has the extra stress of whatever problems her mother has. Reach out to her maybe beneficial to you both. Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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