# So he said we would have A speration and now he says he wants a Divorce!



## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

_Okay I have wrote a few posts on here .. Okay so I am going to get right to it . because, At this point I can't even think straight so here it goes. My husband and I where going to get a divorce.. I think I have signed those damn papers Like 3 time's and you would think it would get easyer but NOOO! So anyways YaH I said 3 time's but only one of those times we turned them in okay ... after 3 days of them being turned in you can tell we both were hurt because of that fact. and we Just wow .. I would say were not there you know . since the plan was to have me come home to washington because of the divorce the ticket for me to go home was already set. but 2 weeks before i was to go home .. he came over and we had a moments of crying or sorrys and all this so todays before I was to come here to washington he was like you want to try this again and i was like YESSSS and he said okay so he went to counsel the divorce and came back and said okay it's done so here is the plan . you go home still and we will be like seperated and you go home and work on such and such things and I will be doing the same here and when its time for me to leave alaska ( which is for work ) ArmY* we will be back together and start fresh you know .. so in all i was to come to washington until Nov ... so I came here and things where good . but then he started going back in fourth on what he wanted... on the ups and downs of wanting it to work or not okay .. that eats u up like nothing =[


So heres my thing now .. Okay so on msn messenger he writes I still love her thro the ruff times. so I read that and felt good. and then out of no where like a few days later hes saying he wants a dirvorce!! So i have been a reck! he doesnt call me .. I call him and beg for him to stay with me and hes like noo and all this . and i tell him i love him and he doesnt say anything!


WHAt happend?? I cant lose him! 

hes my life my love and my other half . I cant sleep nothing! Im scared =[

please anyone get back to me I need anyone to talk to .. I do nothing but cry. _


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

When relationships are at this stage there seems to be a lot of vacillation from one day to the next. At least this has been the case in my experience. The obvious problem is that there is typically a lot of deep hurt and resentment on both sides at this point, and some days you tend to get closer to the "f" it /divorce button than others. If I could change one thing about my relationship, it would be that I would have never even brought up the concept of divorce. As I have, it is now a larger option on the horizon for us. As you two have already filled out papers several times, you have even moved closer to the edge than I have. Thus your position is likely a little more precarious. My advice for you would be two-fold: point one being ascertain exactly what it is your husband wants. Tell him it is unfair to waver from day to day about divorce. For the sake of fairness alone tell him that you deserve to know if he wants to work towards the relationship, as you obviously still do. Then, decide if reconcilliation or separation is appropriate, and lay out a timetable for each. This is the hard part and I don't think I can help you here, as this is where I am currently struggling with my wife. Point two would be grant some concession as a sign of good faith and love. What we began with was one simple change made by either party that would help to show good intent to the other spouse. I simply prefaced the question with "I love you and I know we both are upset. It will take some time and effort to change our relationship, but what one change could I make that would help to demonstrate that I am still very much commited to us". She then asked the same question of me. Our respective answers are irrelevant to your situation, but it has helped immensely to thaw the ice and reopen our lines of communication. Wishing you the best with your marriage.


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

this is what I wrote in an email to him .

Michael,
I know I told you I was going to let you be . If this is what you want But, you know what This is not what I want for us and I'm Not going let you go like your nothing with out a fight. . I don't want to lose the love of my life. you are the meaning to my life. I have Alot to work On and I want to do that with you by my side. I want to show you all the love in the world. I DONOT want to talk about what I did in the past I want to talk about the changes I am Now working on and the things I am doing now to better myself. the things I have done to you there's not even a word I can pin point on how wrong it was of me to do to cheat on you .

I am going to say One last time. I am sorry for cheating on you michael there is No Excuse for me doing that. What I had Done and I can't ever take that Action Away . All I can do Is move past that Action in which took place and take two steps forward and move on.

I know your hurt Hunny I want to take every bit of that pain away from you. I want to be by your side forever . theres no other way to put that. I know you are anger so how u take this email I don't even know . but, what I do know is I am trying . I ask of you to Just give me another chance Michael . Please think about this .

I want to be a better wife to you . I want to give you the love that you have always Deserved.

things will be different . I would give you the world . I would help you in all this and not back down . I would work and have you trust me again . Please don't just let this go . god I want to tell you so much but, I can't word it all out .

Michael marriage is for better or for worse and baby Please lets get past this Bad patch and move on . I love you so much michael and I will never love another. Im waiting for you . I have hope for us.

with this said please think about this .

I love you forever more. I wrote this for you

The water comming from my eyes
They are all the lies I kept inside
I love you
I sure had a funny way of showing it eh?
I cheated I lied
I went behind your back
But I hope its not to late
Youre already hurt
The pain is there
You dont know this
But its hurting me too
I know Im the one
That caused us to suffer
But will you take me back?
and move on from the past?

Michael I am not going anywhere.. please think about this .


and this is what he wrote to me


No I am done I'm don't deserve this and what u did was wrong and will always be remember. I will learn from you and your misatkes n I will learn from mine. But I want to be happy by myself. I'm not doing this to you any more trying to be with you. I am done


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## angiesh2 (Aug 26, 2009)

I read all these posts and it reminds me very much of where I was less than a year ago. I was the one getting dumped and it felt like it was something I would never recover from. It’s amazing how much we beat ourselves up, usually after WE were the ones getting dumped on to begin with. I ended up going to a life coach, because it seemed the breakup was spilling over into every avenue of my life and I had no idea how to move on and move up. Part of me didn’t even want to. But, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. She taught me how to heal, move on, and (probably most importantly…) how to seek out people who were not just good for me – but great for me. I guess I did find I had some insecurities and things from the past that I had hung on to which put me in a stuck place with no idea how to grow past the pain of being dumped. I now have an awesome person in my life who doesn’t MAKE me who I am, but compliments my life and it feels great! I guess I would encourage you to find someone, whether it’s a close friend, life coach, mentor, etc., who can help you walk on in your life and make good decisions so you can get the most out of the short time we all have here. Good luck to you!!


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