# It is me who wants to leave now



## Tired101 (Sep 15, 2011)

I have been in what I would call a disfuctional marriage for over 5 years. Within that time, DH asked for a divorce and I declined. He stayed and h
we had some years of hell, some of indiference and some of potential reconciliation. We have two beautiful children. I have stayed this long for them.

All this time, he has refused to go to therapy (It is not for him) or seek any other type of help. I have been in individual therapy for over 3 years.

This year, it became unbearable for me to continue living in a loveless marriage and I asked him for a divorce. He said he now wants to work on our marriage.

I agreed to give it one more try, but there is no progress on the fundamentals that make a relationship work. I feel disapointed and hopeless. 

I need encouragement to stay!


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

Tired, you must do what's best for you and the children. I have always said that people who stay in a marriage for the "Kids" never end up doing right for the kids. The loyal spouse is dealing with an emotional catastrophy and the wayward spends every free second in the affair. That leaves very little "Quality" attention for the kids. Also, kids aren't dumb. They know SOMETHING is going on and they will eventually find out what it is. It may be months or years but they WILL find out. What example is that setting for them to follow in THEIR future relationships?

If there has been no true effort to reconcile by your spouse, you have only 2 choices. The same 2 you had all along. Move on, or stay with it and take whatever the marriage becomes, good or bad. If the spouse works at it, it can become a relationship, a marriage again. If not, well that's where you are now. 

Q~


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## dontKnowMe (Jun 1, 2011)

Do you really believe things will change? If you think so then give it one more shot WITH A DEFINED END DATE. If things aren't better by that date then leave.

If you think there's no hope then don't waste time -- it's too precious.

p.s. This advice is EASY to give and VERY hard to follow. I wish I could do it myself.


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## MrQuatto (Jul 7, 2010)

dontKnowMe said:


> p.s. This advice is EASY to give and VERY hard to follow. I wish I could do it myself.


Amen to that!

Q~


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## Tired101 (Sep 15, 2011)

Thank you! I wish it was easier.


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