# Could you date a porn star



## xakulax

Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


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## Machiavelli

One day me and my wife were working around the house and some MTV BS was on the TV in "background mode" about rock star marriages. At the end they said 

MTV: "here's Alice Cooper married to the same women for 100 years, Alice what's your secret to staying married?"

Alice: "Dont' marry strippers and porn stars."


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## Anon Pink

Sure I could. As long as he tested clean and was no longer in the flesh trade.

Oh...you were talking about men dating female porn stars... Is there a difference?


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## xakulax

Anon Pink said:


> Sure I could. As long as he tested clean and was no longer in the flesh trade.
> 
> Oh...you were talking about men dating female porn stars... Is there a difference?




Nope it's a gender neutral question


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## Sandfly

No, IMO, you'd be kidding yourself.



Once they're ruined, they're ruined. 

Sounds harsh, but that's how it is.

What's your take, Akula, or are you staying neutral?


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## the guy

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

Sandfly said:


> No, IMO, you'd be kidding yourself.
> 
> 
> 
> Once they're ruined, they're ruined.
> 
> Sounds harsh, but that's how it is.
> 
> What's your take, Akula, or are you staying neutral?


What ruins a woman? Exactly how much sex does she have to notch on her bed post before she is ruined? And why does this ruin her?


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## Sandfly

Anon Pink said:


> What ruins a woman? Exactly how much sex does she have to notch on her bed post before she is ruined? And why does this ruin her?


I know, it's not very charitable of me.

If you don't mind, would you have a go at your questions first, then I promise I'll give my version after that.


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## honcho

How would they be "ruined"? If a person worked as say a stripper back in college 20 years ago I dont think I would sit in judgement of them based on a decision made long ago.


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## the guy

Ya it is but.....one has to face the reality of what they are committing too. And that also goes for theSO that isn't in the biz.

I phucked my leg and my old lady got into video/chat to make ends meet, it screwed up the M big time but we got our sh!t together afterwards.

I phucking hated it! Started slapping her around. A very sad part of my life.

I fixed my crap and she fixed her own crap... Faced the demons together and made it work!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

Sandfly said:


> I know, it's not very charitable of me.
> 
> If you don't mind, would you have a go at your questions first, then I promise I'll give my version after that.


I don't think a persons sexual past should be an important piece of the compatibility scale. Unless their sexual past included rape and child molestation... Obvi.

I don't know why it would be important for anyone, honestly. The only thing that might bother me would be comparing myself to his multiple past encounters. But anyone can do that, right?


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## the guy

honcho said:


> How would they be "ruined"? If a person worked as say a stripper back in college 20 years ago I dont think I would sit in judgement of them based on a decision made long ago.


If your old lady *was* a stripper well then she is wired that way.....after college are you wired to handle your stripper?

Your chick has to be handled different then the Stamford chick..that's how it goes and if a guy thinks his old lady is any different now then she was when she was strippen well he is a fool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sandfly

Mmmmm, I don't know that you answered your own Qs, but maybe you mean to say that women are never ruined, and numbers play no part in it, is that so?

I'm focussing on women, but there are things that ruin men too, like misogyny arising from a very bad relationship with their mother.


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## Anon Pink

But I did answer my questions. I don't think a persons sexual past ruins them. But you do, so.....


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## soccermom2three

No, I couldn't and it's not really about how much sex or how many women. It's more that I think there is something "off" or "not right" about a guy that would participate in the porn industry. I think most people would agree that a large majority of women in porn have mental and emotional issues. I also think the men do to but probably not as severe. I wouldn't want any part of that.


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## the guy

Being a porn star isn't being ruined.

Being a sl^t is not a bad thing, being dishonest with your SO and your self is!

Own who you are and you will never be "ruined"! Be honest and stop being some pure being that should be dressed in white on your wedding day.

If he or she likes being a sl^t then be honest about it...there are folk out there that like sl^ts and shouldn't be judged.

My point is be honest with what your needs and wants are and commit to and share that with your spouse.
Why hide and be a shamed and find it else were so your SO thinks your some pure being when your not wired that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

soccermom2three said:


> No, I couldn't and it's not really about how much sex or how many women. It's more that I think there is something "off" or "not right" about a guy that would participate in the porn industry. I think most people would agree that a large majority of women in porn have mental and emotional issues. I also think the men do to but probably not as severe. I wouldn't want any part of that.


I get that and on a certain level I agree. However, I think there are a ton of CEOs and executives who also have mental disorders..they just function better.

I watch porn and enjoy porn on occasion. I couldn't watch it if I would refuse to have anything to do with those people IRL. That's exploitation.


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## Sandfly

Well, anon, we agree on a lot, but here's something which might divide us into two opposing and hostile camps... or not 

For me, sex is not a thing to be sold or bargained with for gain, which is what a porn star does.

I could never be sure that such a person was not simply doing what she has grown accustomed to doing, with me.

I see other men are basically very easy lays, but I've never been interested in just the body parts divorced from the personality.

If she is capable of that, she's not for me. She can have her fill of the fools who think they're getting a bargain, and she no doubt will.

I don't divide the world of women into angels and wh*res, but I do divide them into sincere vs. users.


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## Anon Pink

Well that makes sense, if that's the value you live by.

I'll safe the hostility for some other thread tonight.


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## the guy

I think I'm exploited ....or my wife is...either way we are commited to exploiting each other and oh each other.

After 24yrs one goes thru a lot of sh!t together....judging each other just brings resentment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WhiteRaven

I'm FWB with an ex-pornstar these days. Sex is awesome.


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## the guy

Sandfly said:


> Well, anon, we agree on a lot, but here's something which might divide us into two opposing and hostile camps... or not
> 
> For me, sex is not a thing to be sold or bargained with for gain, which is what a porn star does.
> 
> I could never be sure that such a person was not simply doing what she has grown accustomed to doing, with me.
> 
> I see other men are basically very easy lays, but I've never been interested in just the body parts divorced from the personality.
> 
> If she is capable of that, she's not for me. She can have her fill of the fools who think they're getting a bargain, and she no doubt will.
> 
> I don't divide the world of women into angels and wh*res, but I do divide them into sincere vs. users.


At the end of the day it's just a job!

The world needs ditch diggers just like sl^t so don't judge but except the fact that we are all wired differently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

I have met a number of sex workers. They have had a hardened attitude. A cynicism if you will. Certainly, that can come from a bad relationship, particularly if your partner betrays you or forces you to do something you dislike (even pros and porn stars have things they hate to do).

Here is where I think that anon pink sort of misses the boat. A housewife can be 'hurt' by her one partner. Maybe she accepts the abuse for a while. Maybe a LONG time. At some point, she says 'enough'.

With some help, most (certainly not all. We've seen women who still admit to having projection problems on all men...just like a lot of the men project on all women here as well) can say "Yes, Frank was an ass...but MEN are okay."

Porn Stars and sex workers have 'partners' every day. And if one bad seed is enough to almost ruin a woman on relationships, what about 5? What about 20? Isn't it likely that she will someday say "MEN are horrible, so I need to protect my self and get what I can."

Because, I don't think I am making a stretch here, the guys who act in porn, produce porn, or are 'johns'...well...they aren't exactly wonderful relationship material... More of the 'let's use the sex object' kind of guys.

The 'sex object' has this ground into her soul several times a year. And considering how degrading some porn is turning, the emotional damage has got to be worse.

So, it isn't the 'sex' that hurts the sex worker, it is the soul killing nature of the business, turning something intimate into a commodity in less than respectful or humane ways.

It is a lot less "Julia Roberts" and a lot more 'Jodie Foster'.

That being said, I treat them like regular human beings with needs and wants. And at the end of the day, even these jaded women are likely to have a spot in their hearts wishing for a Richard Gere to swoop into their lives.

So I am not big on the fire and judgment aspect of things.


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## Anon Pink

Well thought out post JCD. Can't disagree with any of it. 

However, people change. They learn and they heal and they grow. At 51, should I find myself single and an ex porn star wanted to date me, I should think he had already done the hard work to heal, learn and grow.


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## JCD

Anon Pink said:


> Well thought out post JCD. Can't disagree with any of it.
> 
> However, people change. They learn and they heal and they grow. At 51, should I find myself single and an ex porn star wanted to date me, I should think he had already done the hard work to heal, learn and grow.


I hope and pray that people change as well. But the level of mistrust in both partners, 'normal' and 'sex worker' would put a strike into the relationship column from the get go. But I wish them the very best of luck.


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## StayInIt

I have friends who are sex workers. Totally fine with that. However, I had a super frank OBGYN aunt to gave me my sex education and boy did she ever put a fear of STD's in my head. I also watched an uncle die from AIDS. The though of having sex with high risk people really, really freaks me out and I don't think I would be able to date a porn star.


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## JCD

Anon Pink said:


> Well thought out post JCD. Can't disagree with any of it.
> 
> However, people change. They learn and they heal and they grow. At 51, should I find myself single and an ex porn star wanted to date me, I should think he had already done the hard work to heal, learn and grow.


I think you have a key idea here. One could more easily date a FORMER porn star. Dating a current one would be...difficult. Their relationships don't seem any more stable then those of Hollywood actors...and are probably worse.

And someone who has a history of growth and change (not to mention a clean STD screening) would change the whole relationship dynamic. I would focus more on the job history than the relationship one. There is a flaw in character to take THAT job vs. others...unless one is dirt dirt poor. And even they get trapped into the easy money aspect.


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## CharlotteMcdougall

The only difference between a promiscuous person and a sex worker is money. 

People who are not involved in the sex trade can also be high risk sexual partners. 

I am disgusted by the thought of my husband's ass coming up if someone Googled him, which means that I wouldn't be comfortable dating a porn star.


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## StayInIt

CharlotteMcdougall said:


> The only difference between a promiscuous person and a sex worker is money.
> 
> People who are not involved in the sex trade can also be high risk individuals.


True. I suppose it wouldn't matter if they were a pro or not. Lucky for me I got married. We have out ups and downs, but monogamy suits me to a t- sex is much more fun for me now tha ever.


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## tainted

I could date someone doing legit nude modeling. Not the webcam live show stuff. 

I find stripping and porn more degrading, and my fragile little mind couldn't handle my SO coming home from work everyday smelling like other men.


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## LongWalk

Dating a porn star might be different that just the average actor or actress. A star might have qualities that distinguished them beyond appearance. They might actually be good at acting. A few have made the transition from porn to drama. There was one star whose first films were illegal because she was underage.

A lot of pornography is based on rapid destruction of women. During the period that they are fresh, innocent and naive, they can be attractive. After a few months of mistreatment their misery shows and they lose the power to generate income. Their careers do not last long. They must actually learn to act. There are women who can do it well, but they are in the minority and it still brutalizes them.

Male porn stars must have looks and an attitude. Most of all they have to stay hard. They are for sure weird and f'd up if they are in that business for long.

Most of the people in porn are not stars. They are people with problems. That is one reason they get into drugs.

It must be a killer for women in porn or prostitution to on occasion like a partner but then know that "saying I love you" to them will not mean anything.

Surely brutalized people can love again and they can be true. But for them the obstacles are significant. 

There was a mainstream media article about a Duke University woman who was earning tuition money by acting in porn movies. She was outed. She has since been on the morning news circuit selling her story. She dropped out of Duke. So much for keeping RL and acting separate.

A true porn star would be rich. There are many people who could accept a rich partner. Think of all the people who are jobless. Many could live with the compromise of marrying a rich porn star, former or active. A relationship with someone who emerged from the porn industry penniless would very different.

I would not want to sleep with someone who had murdered.


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## ReformedHubby

Anon Pink said:


> What ruins a woman? Exactly how much sex does she have to notch on her bed post before she is ruined? And why does this ruin her?


It isn't so much that porn ruins the woman, its really that most are damaged before they got into the business. In my mid twenties I became very close with a young lady in this business. She aspired to be a "star" but the reality is they are few and far between. Most are just adult film actors not stars. 

We would casually hang out whenever she was in town, until she told me she was married (I had no idea). Turns out she had a loving husband that just wanted her to come home, porn was actually her idea. She was obsessed with becoming the next big thing. Sadly, she never left the business. I certainly don't talk to her anymore but I looked her up out of curiosity. Now she is just an escort, touring the country. Who knows, maybe she was also doing that in addition to films when I met her. 

All I know is based on my interactions with her I don't think she would ever be comfortable in a relationship with a man who loved her. I have a feeling she doesn't think she deserves it.


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## richie33

I don't know which one would be more difficult...dating a porn star or one of the real housewives.


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## Caribbean Man

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


Interesting question.

Sunny Leone
Sarah Jay
Brandon Aniston
Barry Scott
Crissy Moran
Asia Carerra
Belladonna
Remy La Croix

Those are just a few pornstars who are actually _married_. 

All you have to do is enter " married pornstars" in the search box on Youtube and you will have access to some interesting vids of interviews with married pornstars.

Now we must remember that there is a difference between a porn actor/actress and a pornstar.

Most pornstars are actually either married or in long term relationships. And most times their marriages are open marriages , where they have sex with a select tight group of regulars partners. The culture of the industry is one where the stars only have sex with other people involved in porn, because of the risks of std's and the fact that many of them have herpes. 
Their husbands / partners are either other actors or sometimes even their managers, as in the case of Crissy Moran and Belladonna , both now ex stars.

Could I date or marry a pornstar?

Not at this stage in my life where I understand things for what they are.
When I was single , I once " dated" a girl who was into nude modelling. Very pretty party girl, with a hot body and very extroverted personality. Very flirtatious , she was always the life of the party.
It was hard to really define our "relationship " so I tried not to get too close although she told me from the beginning that she " loved " me. Anyway, that aside, we ended on very amicable terms and were good friends until we lost contact. Even after the relationship ended and we were " friends" she still wanted the sex between us.

I always declined.

What I've realized in hindsight and having a better understanding is that the problem isn't really with the sex or the different partners, rather,it's the mindset that led to the person making the decision to live that lifestyle.

It all comes down to values.

If two people have the same values than their relationship can work, much like the list of pornstars I've posted above. People in the adult industry compartmentalize sex and don't attach much emotional significance to it. They attach higher value to the money , hence to them, the sexual objectification is a worthwhile trade off.
The only problem is that compartmentalization is really a defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance . Cognitive dissonance occurs if one has serious inner conflicts when their values and actions aren't aligned. It doesn't occur in a vaccuum . It is usually the end result of a long chain of *events* including backwards rationalization, dissociation ,vulnerabilities, denial and sometimes even personality disorders.

Hence it is extremely difficult for a person who places high emotional value on sex to bond emotionally with a person who compartmentalize sex.

Therein lies the problem


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## JCD

CB, from the few glimpses I've seen inside the sex worker, what they REALLY WANT TO BELIEVE is that they can compartmentalize 'all that stuff' away from the real 'them'.

That she can do her scene, and walk away from 'Asia Carerra' and be good old Plain Jane again who has the cute little dog, and a boyfriend and NO ISSUES from 'that thing' violating her 'real life'.

As the Duke girl found out...it doesn't work out that way. When the illusion shatters, they can either embrace it, run from it, or go into substance abuse.

None are particularly pretty options.


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## Jellybeans

I could, but I won't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man

JCD said:


> As the Duke girl found out...it doesn't work out that way. When the illusion shatters, they can either embrace it, run from it, *or go into substance abuse.*
> 
> None are particularly pretty options.


:iagree:
Yes.

That's why drug abuse and suicide is high among that subset.

Not that it isn't high in other areas of society, but like you said, the options aren't particularly pretty.


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## RandomDude

My ex had a past, though not in porn itself. As for the question, I have, even married her and had a child with her.

Can I do it again? Errr... NO!


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## LongWalk

And sex can never be completely compartmentalized. Prostitutes, contrary to popular wisdom, can at times enjoy sex and get off. This may or may not make their work easier.

I think read somewhere that some porn actresses do have orgasms. But they would say that, wouldn't they?

The Duke star.


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## LongWalk

Can't type fast enough. People with the same observations are beating me to the punch.

But I do have one. Cheaters who love their spouses and are just after sex or an emotional boost also believe they can compartmentalize. And even if they do to some degree with LTR affairs. They still find their lives blown up when discovered.


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## RandomDude

I wonder if OP is refering to active or ex-porn stars, cause I'm sure not many would be happy dating an active one. 

Heh, try to initiate sex when she comes home from work and then:
Her: "I just had an entire football team inside me today at work, sorry sweetheart no sex tonight I'm sore and dripping with many other men's stuff"

lol


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## ReformedHubby

LongWalk said:


> And sex can never be completely compartmentalized. Prostitutes, contrary to popular wisdom, can at times enjoy sex and get off. This may or may not make their work easier.
> 
> I think read somewhere that some porn actresses do have orgasms. But they would say that, wouldn't they?
> 
> The Duke star.


Well for my former friend according to her it really depended on whom she was working with. There were guys that she was cool with off camera too, but there were others that she had to work with that she hated. She really wasn't in a position to choose who she'd work with. As far as sex goes she definitely liked it a lot, she had to have, she did it a lot even when she wasn't working.


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## MSP

I once asked an adult movie actress how she got into it. She said that she had been molested at a young age (the majority of sex workers have, by the way), but once she got used to sex she thought it was a fun way to earn money. Sex had no real intimacy for her. She couldn't really bond with people through sex at all. She had sex with more and more guys, trying to find that intimacy, but it only made matters worse. What a loss for her.


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## MSP

LongWalk said:


> Most of the people in porn are not stars. They are people with problems. That is one reason they get into drugs.


The drugs come for a couple of reasons. One is that on set drugs are readily available to numb the mind or make you feel like you're having more fun than you are. The other reason is that once you're having sex as a job, where do you get your dopamine rush? Drugs. But once you decide that drugs are ruining your life, what is left? Nothing thrills you anymore and that emptiness drives people crazy.


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## MSP

the guy said:


> At the end of the day it's just a job!
> 
> The world needs ditch diggers just like sl^t so don't judge but except the fact that we are all wired differently.


I'm not sure that I've ever heard this conversation:

"I'm sorry honey, but I'm going back to ditch digging. We need the money and I did it in college. But don't be jealous. Even though I'll be digging with other guys, I'll still come home to you--well, eventually, when I want some security in my life. Don't worry if other guys recognize me from my ditch digging when we're out together. They won't think less of you, just because I dig with other guys. And I'll get myself tested every month to make sure you don't pick up any ditch diseases from me."


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## JCD

Here is an issue that sex workers seem to have to face in pretty much every culture: how do they escape without being painted scarlet forever.

By denying them a chance to 'be normal' again, we as a society sort of trap them in a ghetto of people who 'understand' i.e. other sex workers and the criminal element.

Some places are worse than America, but even from a reading of this unscientific poll, we aren't that much more open minded.

BUT...how can I take a shot at people playing the odds and using their judgment? The industry is full of daddy issues, substance abuse, narcissism, and STDs etc. Just playing the odds out of personal safety is not a negative for us, but it has negative repercussions for them.

So I sympathize about the 'trap' that these people find themselves in...but that is why we, as a society, warn people from making that choice in the first place. 

Except for the rare person, it is a one way trip.


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## Anon Pink

I have never met nor spoken to a sex worker, at least not that I'm aware. But it goes without saying that sex workers have a different view of sex and boundaries and that the vast majority of sex workers came to this perspective through a trauma of some sort. Yes, so broad a statement it can't possibly be wrong.

I have seen interviews with sex workers and I've read one or two autobiographies of porn stars, most notably Linda Lovelace of Deep Throat fame.

In this thread it seems a consensus that they are permanently tainted and I think that is wholly unfair, particularly for men who enjoy watching their work. It's hypocritical. You participate in their exploitation then passively participate in their excommunication from mainstream society by judging them too tainted to have a relationship with.

Lots of people compartmentalize sex from emotion. I do it regularly. This is not to say I don't love my husband but I find the cuddles afterward and the atmosphere before sex to be the loving and emotive aspects to sex. But maybe I'm doing it wrong?


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## Anon Pink

ReformedHubby said:


> It isn't so much that porn ruins the woman, its really that most are damaged before they got into the business. In my mid twenties I became very close with a young lady in this business. She aspired to be a "star" but the reality is they are few and far between. Most are just adult film actors not stars.
> 
> We would casually hang out whenever she was in town, until she told me she was married (I had no idea). Turns out she had a loving husband that just wanted her to come home, porn was actually her idea. She was obsessed with becoming the next big thing. Sadly, she never left the business. I certainly don't talk to her anymore but I looked her up out of curiosity. Now she is just an escort, touring the country. Who knows, maybe she was also doing that in addition to films when I met her.
> 
> All I know is based on my interactions with her I don't think she would ever be comfortable in a relationship with a man who loved her. I have a feeling she doesn't think she deserves it.


This kind of damage regarding being able to love and be loved is very common. Hell, there are many members her who grapple with being able to love and be loved in return. Women who are consistently involved with lying cheats, men who abuse or go to the other extreme and allow themselves to be abused. Do these people cancel themselves out of mainstream society for their inability to love without compartmentalizations?

I think it's because women who spread their legs demonstrate their demons and damage while those who just flit from one disastrous relationship after another appear "normal."


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## MSP

Anon Pink said:


> I have ever met nor spoken to a sex worker, at least not that I'm aware. But it goes without saying that sex workers have a different view of sex and boundaries and that the vast majority of sex workers came to this perspective through a trauma of some sort. Yes, so broad a statement it can't possibly be wrong.


I've known quite a few. I've also been friends with guys who've dated them. I even dated one myself. I also dated a second girl whose mother worked as a prostitute and whose father worked as a photographer for adult magazines. I've also met Christians who had left the adult industry to start new lives. And I've counselled sex addicts. 

I'm not speaking from hypothetical scenarios in this thread. 



Anon Pink said:


> In this thread it seems a consensus that they are permanently tainted and I think that is wholly unfair, particularly for men who enjoy watching their work. It's hypocritical.


Who says the guys here hate sex workers and yet watch porn or visit strippers? That's quite the major assumption there, Anon.


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## Machiavelli

Never knew any porn stars, but I did know some strippers back when I was playing music and then had dealings with some in a government capacity. Only one of them could dress normally and behave appropriately in public. Their constant need to be the center of attention was pretty high. Lots of issues and lots of dope. Lots of money, too. Briefly.


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## ReformedHubby

Being hypocritical and discriminatory is never good, but in general I give people a pass when it comes to dating. If someone doesn't agree with someones past, religion, size, not attracted to a certain race etc. etc. I don't think its my place to tell them that they need to reconsider. 

As for the young lady I spoke about, we definitely had a connection but even if she were single there ain't no way she could have ever become Mrs. RH. I would not want an adult film actress to be the mother of my children. As judgmental as that sounds I'm alright with it, primarily because I don't believe that political correctness should factor into choosing a mate.


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## ReformedHubby

MSP said:


> Who says the guys here hate sex workers and yet watch porn or visit strippers? That's quite the major assumption there, Anon.


Hate, is too strong of a word. Just because you don't want to date one doesn't mean you hate them. I honestly don't think that most men would seriously date one. I do however think that most men would sleep with one. I don't think I'm too far off the mark with this opinion.


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## Trickster

While I was in the Navy, My gf became a stripper... i didn't know until, my ship came into port and we all went to a strip club and there she was dancing on stage... it was such an ego bust when I went home with her...i had the biggest grin...those were the days...

I have no idea how I ended up with a LD virgin woman...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

MSP said:


> Who says the guys here hate sex workers and yet watch porn or visit strippers? That's quite the major assumption there, Anon.


Alright then, of the men who have posted in this thread how many don't ever watch porn?

And I didn't use the word hate, nor did I suggest it.


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## JCD

Anon Pink said:


> I have never met nor spoken to a sex worker, at least not that I'm aware. But it goes without saying that sex workers have a different view of sex and boundaries and that the vast majority of sex workers came to this perspective through a trauma of some sort. Yes, so broad a statement it can't possibly be wrong.
> 
> I have seen interviews with sex workers and I've read one or two autobiographies of porn stars, most notably Linda Lovelace of Deep Throat fame.
> 
> In this thread it seems a consensus that they are permanently tainted and I think that is wholly unfair, particularly for men who enjoy watching their work. It's hypocritical. You participate in their exploitation then passively participate in their excommunication from mainstream society by judging them too tainted to have a relationship with.
> 
> Lots of people compartmentalize sex from emotion. I do it regularly. This is not to say I don't love my husband but I find the cuddles afterward and the atmosphere before sex to be the loving and emotive aspects to sex. But maybe I'm doing it wrong?


I get more a read of 'while I admit they are human beings and perfectly valid people, I PERSONALLY would not like to take the risks of (enter valid reason to worry here)'. There is a higher statistical probability of issues due to the damage of the industry.

And I take exception to men being targeted. There are MANY entertainers whose work I enjoy (Prince, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Michael Jackson et al) but I would not probably enjoy a friendship with on a personal level.

To borrow a phrase from a recent poster, many men can compartmentalize sex from emotion  We can 'watch' a sex act without falling in 'love' with the starlet.

Men like having hot chicks around as a general rule. So some (not all) of the motivation of men for 'excluding' such women is how they will be viewed by 'normal' women...and their dating prospects as a result of him being known as a 'wh*re monger'. I would talk and even be friends with a pro...except for the fact of how it affects MY reputation ,and more importantly, and how it would trickle down and affect my wife.

But I will admit to being a hypocrite. I can watch porn. I'd be friendly to porn stars. I would NOT date or marry an active porn star. I MIGHT be open to a relationship to a FORMER porn stars...but it would be eyes WIDE open. Remember that 'one strike already'? There it is...and I won't apologize for that.

Edited to add: I do jump to the defense of these type of people (to a certain extent). I think it's a horrible career choice and the addiction to fast money is bad for them. But I won't let people slam them as EVIL.


----------



## MSP

Anon Pink said:


> Alright then, of the men who have posted in this thread how many don't ever watch porn?
> 
> And I didn't use the word hate, nor did I suggest it.


Well, disdain, then. Let's not quibble over semantics. 

In either case, I still don't think it's hypocritical, like you say. Being hypocritical, in the context of the thread, would be to date a stripper yet feel like she was tainted and not any good for anything other than sex. Unfortunately, there are actually plenty of guys who do this.

And FWIW, I am not into porn.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Anon Pink said:


> Alright then, of the men who have posted in this thread how many don't ever watch porn?


I'm having a hard time understanding how watching pornography would make me obligated to give a porn actress a chance if she were interested. No one is expecting a virgin anymore, but at the same time we don't want her past out there for the world to see either. I am proud to be seen with my wife, to me she is beautiful. I couldn't have that same level of pride walking around with a woman that would always get that "I think I know her from somewhere stare " from men.


----------



## Sandfly

So on the male side there's not much disagreement, bar one person,

On the other hand, from the women, there are mixed messages about whether a male porn star is acceptable.

It seems to me, that 'as long as he is good _to me_' then the past is forgiven.

Is this ambiguous attitude not precisely how the playboy is able to continue in business?


----------



## always_alone

Anon Pink said:


> In this thread it seems a consensus that they are permanently tainted and I think that is wholly unfair, particularly for men who enjoy watching their work. It's hypocritical. You participate in their exploitation then passively participate in their excommunication from mainstream society by judging them too tainted to have a relationship with.


I agree. Calling it "just a job like any other" and enjoying the exploitation, then going on how about how tainted and risky these women are, and how embarrassing it would be to be seen with them, is hypocrisy in the extreme.


----------



## xakulax

Sandfly said:


> No, IMO, you'd be kidding yourself.
> 
> 
> 
> Once they're ruined, they're ruined.
> 
> Sounds harsh, but that's how it is.
> 
> What's your take, Akula, or are you staying neutral?




Personally I couldn't do it the simple logistics of day-to-day life with someone with that kind of past would be just too much for one person to deal with let's just look at some real quick first you have to deal with the fact that everyone is going to hit on them that's a guarantee any guy with internet and eye's has sens your SO naked and more so therefore every guy going to think they have a chance at getting some and that means your going to have to kick a lot ass 


Second is going to be hard to deal with the fact that every single time you meet anyone who used to work with her in her past is going to *give you that look * if your wondering what the hell is that look well that look is basically a guy insinuating that he’s shared a bed with your SO in a Biblical sense It’s the worst look a guy can give another man that would just piss me off to no end.


----------



## SurpriseMyself

Anon Pink said:


> What ruins a woman? Exactly how much sex does she have to notch on her bed post before she is ruined? And why does this ruin her?


I know a woman who used to be a call girl. Is there a difference? You get paid to have sex. 

Pretty Woman anyone?


----------



## MSP

always_alone said:


> I agree. Calling it "just a job like any other" and enjoying the exploitation, then going on how about how tainted and risky these women are, and how embarrassing it would be to be seen with them, is hypocrisy in the extreme.


You're referencing several different posters to amalgamate them into one giant strawman.


----------



## ReformedHubby

always_alone said:


> I agree. Calling it "just a job like any other" and enjoying the exploitation, then going on how about how tainted and risky these women are, and how embarrassing it would be to be seen with them, is hypocrisy in the extreme.


Well...I might as well just put it all out there. But only for the sake of making a point. Yes I slept with her (the adult film actress), but that was before I knew she was married. Also, I wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her in general. However, she still wasn't wife material. I think that all people (men and women) look for different things in short term versus long term relationships. Is that so wrong?


----------



## WorkingOnMe

In theory I'd say, yes not problem. But there are two issues that would worry me, one of which I'm not sure I'd be able to get past. That is, I doubt that I'm secure enough in myself for a long term thing with a porn star. She'd have to be showing some genuine enthusiasm on an epic scale and even then watching her on screen with a John Holmes wannabe would make me doubt her sincerity. 

The other thing that would worry me is that she might have been conditioned to view all sex as transactional. I'd be on the lookout for that and would likely end it the first time she went down that road.

Then there's that whole issue of doing for others what you don't for me. If she only does anal when getting paid? No, I couldn't live with that.

Of course these are all just hypotheticals. I can see a path where an ex porn star evolved and changed her views of sex and made me truly #1 in all ways. I think it's probably a pretty small percentage that would do it though.


----------



## CuddleBug

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.



If your wifee or hubbs to be did work in porn, stripper or nude modeling, I would really have to sit down and think this through carefully.

My reasoning, He or she obviously love and need all that sexual and physical attention and from many people before they met you. They are very broken in and used. After getting married, they may not want sex much anymore because of their past and you get very little sex and wonder why? Or since they have high sex drives and loved to be the center of attention and had sex with so many people, they could easily cheat on you!! I personally wouldn't of married Mrs.CuddleBug if she was a porn actress because she chose to have sex with many other people, get around, and everyone can see her having sex, vids. Not cool in my books. I thought we were to kinda save ourselves for our wifee or hubbs to be and not purposely sleep around for money and have everyone see our sex acts world wide - 'net, for the rest of our lives together.....If he or she does a 180, never, ever thinks or does that again, and they give us the best sex ever, then I would possibly marry a former porn star and forgive her past. We all have pasts we aren't proud of.


----------



## ReformedHubby

WorkingOnMe said:


> In theory I'd say, yes not problem. But there are two issues that would worry me, one of which I'm not sure I'd be able to get past. That is, I doubt that I'm secure enough in myself for a long term thing with a porn star. She'd have to be showing some genuine enthusiasm on an epic scale and even then watching her on screen with a John Holmes wannabe would make me doubt her sincerity.


Well....I certainly didn't experience that. It was just normal sex really. Only speaking for myself but I doubt you'd see what you saw on film in your bedroom, even if you were married to a porn actress. That would definitly be a issue for what we on TAM refer to as the RJ boys.


----------



## Cosmos

Anon Pink said:


> What ruins a woman? Exactly how much sex does she have to notch on her bed post before she is ruined? And why does this ruin her?


Because a high number of sex partners in a man is perceived as sign of his virility. In a woman it is perceived as a sign of her lack of virtue....


----------



## WorkingOnMe

ReformedHubby said:


> Well....I certainly didn't experience that. It was just normal sex really. Only speaking for myself but I doubt you'd see what you saw on film in your bedroom, even if you were married to a porn actress. That would definitly be a issue for what we on TAM refer to as the RJ boys.


Well whatever you want to call it, it's a deal breaker for me. I can't be with someone who does things with others that she doesn't with me. It's a complete non starter. Not that it has to be every time, but it MUST be on the menu or I'm out.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Cosmos said:


> Because a high number of sex partners in a man is perceived as proof of his virility. In a woman it is perceived as a lack of virtue....


You won't get any arguments from me on that. Its a double standard. However, just because _I know_ its a double standard doesn't mean I can just change the way I feel about it. It still doesn't feel right for me to marry a women that worked as an adult film star. I have two boys and a girl. Honestly speaking I think my daughter is better off learning how to be a women from my wife. A college educated women with two degrees, as opposed to an adult film actress.


----------



## CuddleBug

WorkingOnMe said:


> Well whatever you want to call it, it's a deal breaker for me. I can't be with someone who does things with others that she doesn't with me. It's a complete non starter. Not that it has to be every time, but it MUST be on the menu or I'm out.



Agreed!!! I'd expect all her sexual experiences to be done with me and rock my world.:smthumbup::smthumbup:


----------



## Sandfly

Cosmos said:


> Because a high number of sex partners in a man is perceived as proof of his virility. In a woman it is perceived as a lack of virtue....


That's reality, and it's not going to change. 

RH, There's no double standard. 

The first element is what _women _perceive...

Another man's virility matters nothing to me!


----------



## ReformedHubby

Sandfly said:


> That's reality, and it's not going to change.
> 
> RH, There's no double standard.
> 
> The first element is what _women _perceive...
> 
> Another man's virility matters nothing to me!


I agree its a reality that won't change but I can't say it isn't a double standard. I personally don't care how much of a stud the next guy is, but I WOULD care if my wife was a porn actress in the past. 

To be honest this whole conversation is absurd to me. I'm sorry but I don't believe that a porn actor would be the first choice of any women I know, and I ain't apologizing because its not my first choice in a mate either. This really isn't one of those gotcha type threads where people can point out hypocrisy. Literally nobody wants to be married to a porn actor (ok, maybe a small percentage).

Let me kick it up a notch, would you want your son or daughter to be a porn actor/actress. Of course not!!! Call me a hypocrite all day but I'm sending my baby girl to the ivy leauge. And yes I will still watch porn with my wife. And?????


----------



## tacoma

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


I did.

15 years together, three kids raised, pretty happy today.

Guess that counts as meaningful.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Well it is a double standard, and it is just one among the many, many double standards between the sexes .

The problem with how it's being portrayed on this thread is that it doesn't only apply to men.

Women love to see male strippers dance , strip . They love to rub the oil , whip cream on their bodies and manly parts just for the excitement of it.

But how many women would consider investing in a serious relationship, or marrying a man is/ was a male stripper?

The answer is NONE.

First of all, male strippers make considerably less than female strippers. Beside the emotional baggage, he is BROKE.

Secondly, most of them are either bisexual or gay.Which woman wants to take a chance at that?

The double standard actually flies both ways,men and women, but the male strippers , just like the male pornstars get the shorter , messy end of the stick.

They always end up broke.

Females stand a better chance of getting married and settling down.
Males on the other hand , can't afford the luxury of such dreams.

Females enter the adult industry for the money.
Males enter for the sex.


----------



## xakulax

tacoma said:


> I did.
> 
> 15 years together, three kids raised, pretty happy today.
> 
> Guess that counts as meaningful.



Which professions was it if you don't mind me asking


----------



## ReformedHubby

Caribbean Man said:


> Well it is a double standard, and it is just one among the many, many double standards between the sexes .
> 
> The problem with how it's being portrayed on this thread is that it doesn't only apply to men.
> 
> Women love to see male strippers dance , strip . They love to rub the oil , whip cream on their bodies and manly parts just for the excitement of it.
> 
> But how many women would consider investing in a serious relationship, or marrying a man is/ was a male stripper?
> 
> The answer is NONE.
> 
> First of all, male strippers make considerably less than female strippers. Beside the emotional baggage, he is BROKE.
> 
> Secondly, most of them are either bisexual or gay.Which woman wants to take a chance at that?
> 
> The double standard actually flies both ways,men and women, but the male strippers , just like the male pornstars get the shorter , messy end of the stick.
> 
> They always end up broke.
> 
> Females stand a better chance of getting married and settling down.
> Males on the other hand , can't afford the luxury of such dreams.
> 
> Females enter the adult industry for the money.
> Males enter for the sex.


I really wanted to take it there but didn't. Honestly speaking I would think the over whelming majority of women view male strippers as only good for one thing. These people have chosen livelihoods that are all about objectivity. So we're saying its not okay to objectify them? Even though its their job to be an object? :scratchhead:


----------



## Wolf1974

Date yes

Marry never


----------



## LongWalk

CuddleBug said:


> Agreed!!! I'd expect all her sexual experiences to be done with me and rock my world.:smthumbup::smthumbup:


I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.

There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


----------



## sidney2718

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


I think so. There certainly are men who fit the designation. They are often called "players", but that word doesn't carry the bad connotations that slvt does.


----------



## Sandfly

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


Player, gigolo, cad.

There's a bunch, but the negativity won't stick, because it doesn't stop women from marrying them.

There's women on TAM who boast that their husband used to have a lot of partners, but they captured and tamed him. 

Reflected glory, that of all the women in the world who wanted them, they were his chosen one.

These women view it as they married a prize, not a sl*t. Are they deluded?


----------



## Caribbean Man

ReformedHubby said:


> I really wanted to take it there but didn't. Honestly speaking I would think the over whelming majority of women view male strippers as only good for one thing. These people have chosen livelihoods that are all about objectivity. So we're saying its not okay to objectify them? Even though its their job to be an object? :scratchhead:



I like to compare it to the garment industry in America.

The bulk of American brands are manufactured in Bangladesh , India , Pakistan and China , under exploitative , slavery conditions. These workers are usually young , uneducated females and to a lesser extent males who earn less than US $2.00 / day.

Would any American in their right mind leave the comfort o their homeland, go to Bangladesh , marry an uneducated girl to lift her out ot the endless cycles of poverty her clan is trapped in because of capitalistic greed?

Absolutely not.

But they wear the GAP , Levis and other brands with pride.

We like to think of ourselves as morally upright and good human beings, and rightly so.
But there's a personal limit to what each one of us is willing t do and everyone has the right to set their own limits.

Collectivism can be good, but it sometimes goes to far.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Sandfly said:


> Player, gigolo, cad.
> 
> There's a bunch, but the negativity won't stick, because it doesn't stop women from marrying them.
> 
> There's women on TAM who boast that their husband used to have a lot of partners, but they captured and tamed him.
> 
> Reflected glory, that of all the women in the world who wanted them, they were his chosen one.
> 
> These women view it as they married a prize, not a sl*t. Are they deluded?


You are one contentious dude!:rofl:


----------



## chillymorn

Just one date and then I think I might be like na this isn't going to work.


Hey babe how was you day? Great I got to sux some really big stuff and he was really nice I didn't feel bad afterwords but now my jaw kinda of hurts because he was much bigger than you! sorry I not really int he mood tonight. maybe after my pu$$y heals up form the stallion I banged this morn.


----------



## xakulax

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?




I agree there should be word for male slvt my recommendation 


Player 

[email protected]

lecher

Jiggalo


----------



## Sandfly

Caribbean Man said:


> You are one contentious dude!:rofl:


lol!

I'm just pointing out that the _so-called_ double standard resides with the bulk of womankind who prize the men who wh*re around, rather than with the man who finds this behaviour distasteful.

We've got our moral compasses pointing north on this one.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Sandfly said:


> lol!
> 
> I'm just pointing out that the _so-called_ double standard resides with the bulk of womankind who prize the men who wh*re around, rather than with the man who finds this behaviour distasteful.
> 
> We've got our moral compasses pointing north on this one.


Well you made me laugh at myself, because my wife and I fall squarely into that category!

I was the wild guy and she did the taming.

Double standards galore, but it is what it is.

Life is full of them.


----------



## Machiavelli

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


Not all knives cut both ways.

A master key is valued because it opens all locks
A lock that is opened by any key is worthless.

Is it going to bother Frank Sinatra if you call him a slvt?


----------



## Machiavelli

xakulax said:


> I agree there should be word for male slvt my recommendation
> 
> 
> Player
> 
> [email protected]
> 
> lecher
> 
> Jiggalo


Stud

or if you want to be pseudo-scientific

Alpha


----------



## StayInIt

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


High Risk. I would call that dude high risk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## FormerSelf

I wouldn't date one still in the business, but I wouldn't hate on someone who maybe had been in porn in the past and moved on. At the same time, it would suck going out in public...and have her be recognized all the time.


----------



## richie33

I am sure there are plenty of porn stars male or female worthy of love and marriage.


----------



## tacoma

xakulax said:


> Which professions was it if you don't mind me asking


My wife was a stripper.

A rather successful stripper when I met her.

Society stands on a poor foundation when making judgements about these professions.

She tried for years to make it as a CNA for $8 an hour struggling to raise two boys.

She went to work one shift stripping at the goading of a friend and made more in a 4 hour shift than she could in 2 weeks as a CNA.

Why work 80 hours for what she can earn in 4 with the added benefit of not having to pay for child care and getting more time with her family?

If we want these professions gone we're going to have to re-evaluate what we value.


----------



## LBHmidwest

Yes, I have tiger blood! Charlie Sheen


----------



## jld

Sandfly said:


> There's women on TAM who boast that their husband used to have a lot of partners, but they captured and tamed him.


Well, life is long, and they may not always be glad they are with him.

And sometimes "players" come to their senses, and upon reflection, regret some of the things they did in their past. Some women are able to overlook all that in their partners, and love them anyway. This is good, because everyone needs to feel loved.

And now that women are overtaking men in financial achievement, we may see a lot of reversal in how we have traditionally viewed these things.


----------



## jld

tacoma said:


> My wife was a stripper.
> 
> A rather successful stripper when I met her.
> 
> Society stands on a poor foundation when making judgements about these professions.
> 
> She tried for years to make it as a CNA for $8 an hour struggling to raise two boys.
> 
> She went to work one shift stripping at the goading of a friend and made more in a 4 hour shift than she could in 2 weeks as a CNA.
> 
> Why work 80 hours for what she can earn in 4 with the added benefit of not having to pay for child care and getting more time with her family?
> 
> If we want these professions gone we're going to have to re-evaluate what we value.


Exactly. This is all an economic problem.

I think you must be a very kind and mature man, tacoma, to look beyond what society seems to say, as hypocritical as it is. I am very happy that your wife has someone who loves her just as she is.


----------



## xakulax

tacoma said:


> My wife was a stripper.
> 
> A rather successful stripper when I met her.
> 
> Society stands on a poor foundation when making judgements about these professions.
> 
> She tried for years to make it as a CNA for $8 an hour struggling to raise two boys.
> 
> She went to work one shift stripping at the goading of a friend and made more in a 4 hour shift than she could in 2 weeks as a CNA.
> 
> Why work 80 hours for what she can earn in 4 with the added benefit of not having to pay for child care and getting more time with her family?
> 
> If we want these professions gone we're going to have to re-evaluate what we value.




I think with nude modeling or stripping I could move on and get past it pretty quickly but with porn not so much its one thing to deal with nude pics or dancing on stage but seeing your SO getting it from somebody else or more is just to much for me to handle. like I said before in an earlier post the biggest problem I would have would be getting that look from her past pron buddies.




If your wondering what the hell is that look well that look is basically a guy insinuating that he’s shared a bed with your SO in a Biblical sense It’s the worst look a guy can give another man that would just piss me off to no end.


----------



## Shoto1984

Going to agree with Xakulax. Nude modeling or stripping is different then porn. Sex means something to me and thus I wouldn't want to be with someone who's sex didn't mean anything to them.


----------



## jld

Shoto1984 said:


> Going to agree with Xakulax. Nude modeling or stripping is different then porn. Sex means something to me and thus I wouldn't want to be with someone who's sex didn't mean anything to them.


And then this is not the kind of girl for you.

But everyone needs to be loved, Shoto. And I really hope there are some men out there who can overlook a woman's perceived shortcomings and just love her for the good inside of her. 

I just have to believe there are men like that, for these women surely need them.


----------



## xakulax

jld said:


> And then this is not the kind of girl for you.
> 
> But everyone needs to be loved, Shoto. And I really hope there are some men out there who can overlook a woman's perceived shortcomings and just love her for the good inside of her.
> 
> I just have to believe there are men like that, for these women surely need them.




I hope so to.


----------



## committed4ever

Sandfly said:


> lol!
> 
> I'm just pointing out that the _so-called_ double standard resides with the bulk of womankind who prize the men who wh*re around, rather than with the man who finds this behaviour distasteful.
> 
> We've got our moral compasses pointing north on this one.


Aww damn Sandfly!

Not all of us women who married former players take pride in it. Actually my H considered himself a REFORMED player when we started dating (or at least undergoing reformation). But I don't find it something to boast about. To me it is a story of a man who found the life empty after a time and regretted having lived it and wanted to be a better person. 

And I don't look at it as taming him at all. Sometimes I wonder why me? I mean, I'm beautiful and voluptuous and sweet and all, but I was a virgin who knew nothing about men or sex. I guess in our case he decided to tame himself. Truthfully though I did view his behavior as reprehensible (I knew about it because I was friends with his sister and in a position to observe it) but I guess I was able to compartmentalize that side of him and still drool over him from afar before he ever gave me the time of day. The reason for this is elsewhere on TAM but nevertheless I separated his behavior from him successfully in my mind and I must say it doesn't bother me at all that this was his past.

And yet, I could never ever consider marrying a male porn star or stripper. Hypocritical me. I guess we all have our flaws.


----------



## ReformedHubby

WorkingOnMe said:


> Well whatever you want to call it, it's a deal breaker for me. I can't be with someone who does things with others that she doesn't with me. It's a complete non starter. Not that it has to be every time, but it MUST be on the menu or I'm out.


Well...to be honest there are quite a few things that occur in adult films that I have no interest in doing.


----------



## JCD

tacoma said:


> My wife was a stripper.
> 
> A rather successful stripper when I met her.
> 
> Society stands on a poor foundation when making judgements about these professions.
> 
> She tried for years to make it as a CNA for $8 an hour struggling to raise two boys.
> 
> She went to work one shift stripping at the goading of a friend and made more in a 4 hour shift than she could in 2 weeks as a CNA.
> 
> Why work 80 hours for what she can earn in 4 with the added benefit of not having to pay for child care and getting more time with her family?
> 
> If we want these professions gone we're going to have to re-evaluate what we value.





jld said:


> Exactly. This is all an economic problem.
> 
> I think you must be a very kind and mature man, tacoma, to look beyond what society seems to say, as hypocritical as it is. I am very happy that your wife has someone who loves her just as she is.


Read 'Freakenomics' which covers the economics of escorts. A high end escort makes a lot more than an architect...because a lot of women dream about becoming an architect. Few dream about being an escort.

It isn't the skill set: it's the willingness to do the work AND being attractive enough to do it. Both are rarities.


----------



## bandit.45

I would not marry an ex-porn star.

But if it was Gianna Michaels, and she was retired for good, I would definitely date her.


----------



## over20

richie33 said:


> I don't know which one would be more difficult...dating a porn star or one of the real housewives.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## Sandfly

ReformedHubby said:


> Well...to be honest there are quite a few things that occur in adult films that I have no interest in doing.


For example, all that conversation that they put in at the start?


----------



## over20

Sandfly said:


> For example, all that conversation that they put in at the start?


:rofl::rofl:


----------



## over20

chillymorn said:


> Just one date and then I think I might be like na this isn't going to work.
> 
> 
> Hey babe how was you day? Great I got to sux some really big stuff and he was really nice I didn't feel bad afterwords but now my jaw kinda of hurts because he was much bigger than you! sorry I not really int he mood tonight. maybe after my pu$$y heals up form the stallion I banged this morn.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


All you guys crack me up!!!!

My hubs would NOT want his woman coming home to him for sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths...fifteenths, sixteenths.......


----------



## xakulax

bandit.45 said:


> I would not marry an ex-porn star.
> 
> But if it was Gianna Michaels, and she was retired for good, I would definitely date her.





I actually meet Gianna Michaels once she would be the exemption to my rule under all that sexiness lies a very smart and creative women.


----------



## JCD

jld said:


> And then this is not the kind of girl for you.
> 
> But everyone needs to be loved, Shoto. And I really hope there are some men out there who can overlook a woman's perceived shortcomings and just love her for the good inside of her.
> 
> I just have to believe there are men like that, for these women surely need them.


It's like anon pink said: they don't have to STAY porn stars. They can change their lives.

Asia Carerra married a man, seemed happy, had two kids with him and moved FAR away from that lifestyle.

Unfortunately, he died in a car accident and such men are in short supply. Which is sad.

I very much think that at least half (if not more) of the animosity is female driven. There are HUNDREDS of men who go to Thailand or other places where the 'cultural norms' of the West don't apply...and they seem to marry bar girls.

So part of my education from the results from such pairings comes from that. The men seem willing to do this when away fro the opprobrium of the homeland.

And in many cases, the women are so damaged (and culturally different) that it seldom works out. Some friends of mine who are well informed on these matters write blogs about this.

But...a nude model isn't a stripper isn't a porn star isn't a prostitute. (Which is my least to worst scale)

So if some drop dead gorgeous woman met single me and decided I was the one...I think I'd like her to keep her past to herself until the two monthor so...so I can measure her as the woman she is now and THEN add her past.


----------



## xakulax

JCD said:


> It's like anon pink said: they don't have to STAY porn stars. They can change their lives.
> 
> Asia Carerra married a man, seemed happy, had two kids with him and moved FAR away from that lifestyle.
> 
> Unfortunately, he died in a car accident and such men are in short supply. Which is sad.
> 
> I very much think that at least half (if not more) of the animosity is female driven. There are HUNDREDS of men who go to Thailand or other places where the 'cultural norms' of the West don't apply...and they seem to marry bar girls.
> 
> So part of my education from the results from such pairings comes from that. The men seem willing to do this when away fro the opprobrium of the homeland.
> 
> And in many cases, the women are so damaged (and culturally different) that it seldom works out. Some friends of mine who are well informed on these matters write blogs about this.
> 
> But...a nude model isn't a stripper isn't a porn star isn't a prostitute. (Which is my least to worst chances arc)
> 
> *So if some drop dead gorgeous woman met single me and decided I was the one...I think I'd like her to keep her past to herself until the two monthor so...so I can measure her as a woman and THEN add her past*.




I would have to agree you must give a person time to weigh who you are now as suppose to who you were then the worst thing someone could do in that situation would be to not say anything about their past at all and for there SO to find out years after the fact from a 3rd party.


----------



## U.E. McGill

Ironically I'd consider it way before I'd date a virgin. There's some baggage I'd deal with, others no.


----------



## over20

Machiavelli said:


> Not all knives cut both ways.
> 
> A master key is valued because it opens all locks
> A lock that is opened by any key is worthless.
> 
> Is it going to bother Frank Sinatra if you call him a slvt?


Only one key opened my lock .....and his IS "The Master" in my eyes. :smthumbup:


----------



## committed4ever

U.E. McGill said:


> Ironically I'd consider it way before I'd date a virgin. There's some baggage I'd deal with, others no.


Why would you assume a virgin has baggage? I was a virgin when my H and I started dating but I didn't have any. I guess I was kind of young though -- just 18.


----------



## ReformedHubby

JCD said:


> It's like anon pink said: they don't have to STAY porn stars. They can change their lives.


Of course they can change, but there are not many happy endings. I think we are projecting what would make us happy in life on to adult performers on this thread. Granted I have a sample of one and only her hearsay to go on about others, but I don't think she was looking for the white picket fence. I think what people are missing in this thread is that many porn actresses choose to reject the "normal" life. I don't think they'd be happy with the guy who works a 9 to 5 and wears wingtips. At least not when they are in the business.


----------



## treyvion

JCD said:


> It's like anon pink said: they don't have to STAY porn stars. They can change their lives.
> 
> Asia Carerra married a man, seemed happy, had two kids with him and moved FAR away from that lifestyle.
> 
> Unfortunately, he died in a car accident and such men are in short supply. Which is sad.
> 
> I very much think that at least half (if not more) of the animosity is female driven. There are HUNDREDS of men who go to Thailand or other places where the 'cultural norms' of the West don't apply...and they seem to marry bar girls.
> 
> So part of my education from the results from such pairings comes from that. The men seem willing to do this when away fro the opprobrium of the homeland.
> 
> And in many cases, the women are so damaged (and culturally different) that it seldom works out. Some friends of mine who are well informed on these matters write blogs about this.
> 
> But...a nude model isn't a stripper isn't a porn star isn't a prostitute. (Which is my least to worst scale)
> 
> So if some drop dead gorgeous woman met single me and decided I was the one...I think I'd like her to keep her past to herself until the two monthor so...so I can measure her as the woman she is now and THEN add her past.


Much of the damage is how they potray sex and emotional closeness. Also how they have to compartamentalize their actions. Much of what they do in mass produced porn is "degrading" to them, so they have to fight through that aspect.

It wouldn't take someone a week or a month to get over it, but several years.

Also they would have to move away from the lifestyle and the people in it.

Also their choices in their personal life could not seek to gain advantage of any fame or any whorish ways that were required to be in there in the first place.

It's something about the values system of people in extreme lifestyles or degrading lifestyles that always gets you into trouble.

Alot of them are bi-polar as a result. It means a part of their psyche is literally a completely different person.

What about the ego built up in there? That they can degrade their bodies for money, but yes should be viewed as almost a "god" in comparison to a "normal" man? How about that? 

It's not easy, but I wouldn't discount one, as long as they were out of it. They had made the choice to be out of it before me, and went through the time required. Also I could look back over the last 3-5 years of their life and their choices and situaions they allowed themself to be involved in, reflected that it was a different person who is not like that anymore.

If you look at the ways of the world, male getting with porn star, former long term *****, etc... It usually ends VERY VERY badly. It's been going on since the end of time and is even written about in the bible about these types of demons taking a man into the pits of hell with them.

I still believe they can change, it's just not likely.


----------



## treyvion

ReformedHubby said:


> Of course they can change, but there are not many happy endings. I think we are projecting what would make us happy in life on to adult performers on this thread. Granted I have a sample of one and only her hearsay to go on about others, but I don't think she was looking for the white picket fence. I think what people are missing in this thread is that many porn actresses choose to reject the "normal" life. I don't think they'd be happy with the guy who works a 9 to 5 and wears wingtips. At least not when they are in the business.


Not while they are in, nor several years afterwards either. That value system would not change. They would prefer an actor, athelete, someone in music, a drug dealer, some high image person, probably wouldn't appreciate a more "normal" person who works hard for what they earn and is not on the edge of life...

That would be normal.

However a minority want to get out of it all together, so they would prefer this safe "island" of a normal person who is away from all their former vices.


----------



## Sandfly

treyvion said:


> It's been going on since the end of time and is even written about in the bible about these types of demons taking a man into the pits of hell with them.


I recognise this: One of the best bits of the bible  :

"For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. 

Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell....

Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, 

... lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, 

lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.

At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent."

Sounds pretty bad!


----------



## Caribbean Man

ReformedHubby said:


> Of course they can change, but there are not many happy endings. I think we are projecting what would make us happy in life on to adult performers on this thread. Granted I have a sample of one and only her hearsay to go on about others, but I don't think she was looking for the white picket fence. * I think what people are missing in this thread is that many porn actresses choose to reject the "normal" life. I don't think they'd be happy with the guy who works a 9 to 5 and wears wingtips. At least not when they are in the business.*


:iagree:

I think what we are also missing is that people tend to pair off / marry other people they consider their equals.

So the career woman would hardly like date and marry the sanitation worker. As a matter of fact, no sanitation worker exists in her social circle/ dating pool.

An engineer would date get married to a woman in a similar educational bracket, because that's they type of person he is most likely to meet in his social circle.

A successful stripper / pornstar would most likely hook up with an entertainer ,pro athlete ,rapper or someone along that subset of potential mates who could afford to hang out in the VIP of the most exclusive clubs and so on.

Have you ever noticed that when high profile men get caught cheating with prostitutes, they are usually the $1500.00 / hour type?
Tiger Woods was married to a supermodel, but he kept a secret harem of high priced escorts.

My mind goes back to the former New York Governor , Elliot Spitzer who spent over $16,000.00 in six months on high priced escorts from and exclusive agency called " The Emperor's Club VIP." It is alleged that he paid an escort, 22 yr old [email protected] Dupré , $4300.00 cash, to spend a few hours with him.

People tend to want to have sex, date ,and marry whom they feel are their equals.


----------



## treyvion

Sandfly said:


> I recognise this: One of the best bits of the bible  :
> 
> "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword.


In English. This ***** who is adapted to be a apex predator in the world, through her physical image, her voice and actions and her sexuality. Who can seduce almost anyman...



Sandfly said:


> Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell....


If you taste her oils, her seduction and folllow her, she will drag you into hell.



Sandfly said:


> Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,
> 
> ... lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,
> 
> lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.
> 
> At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent."
> 
> Sounds pretty bad!


She's literally going to let others feed off your wealth, your hard work, your spirit and your body. She doesnt' care about you, only what she can get out of you. And you like a dummy "think" you love her. You love her image, and her sex, which was designed to catch dummys like you, while she allows those and others of her house to kill you and steal from you over time.

When she cheats on you and you act surprised, when you are hurting and you think it's weird why she shows you no compassion.

That.


----------



## treyvion

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I think what we are also missing is that people tend to pair off / marry other people they consider their equals.
> 
> So the career woman would hardly like date and marry the sanitation worker. As a matter of fact, no sanitation worker exists in her social circle/ dating pool.
> 
> An engineer would date get married to a woman in a similar educational bracket, because that's they type of person he is most likely to meet in his social circle.
> 
> A successful stripper / pornstar would most likely hook up with an entertainer ,pro athlete ,rapper or someone along that subset of potential mates who could afford to hang out in the VIP of the most exclusive clubs and so on.
> 
> Have you ever noticed that when high profile men get caught cheating with prostitutes, they are usually the $1500.00 / hour type?
> Tiger Woods was married to a supermodel, but he kept a secret harem of high priced escorts.
> 
> My mind goes back to the former New York Governor , Elliot Spitzer who spent over $16,000.00 in six months on high priced escorts from and exclusive agency called " The Emperor's Club VIP." It is alleged that he paid an escort, 22 yr old [email protected] Dupré , $4300.00 cash, to spend a few hours with him.
> 
> People tend to want to have sex, date ,and marry whom they feel are their equals.


I doubt the politician viewed the ***** as his "equal", it's more among the lines that they viewed they should be able to consume this level of commodity. If it was viewed as their equal, they would like to be seen marrying it.


----------



## Sandfly

treyvion said:


> If it was viewed as their equal, they would like to be seen marrying it.


I agree.

They want to _secretly _use the prostitute, ergo, they don't think much of her.

Though I totally get that they want the _best _tart they can afford.


----------



## RandomDude

$1500?! Now THAT is overpriced! Normally those guys spend that money on VIRGINS! lol

Check this out: World's Most Expensive Virginities (virginity for sale) - ODDEE

Wow!


----------



## xakulax

RandomDude said:


> $1500?! Now THAT is overpriced! Normally those guys spend that money on VIRGINS! lol
> 
> Check this out: World's Most Expensive Virginities (virginity for sale) - ODDEE
> 
> Wow!



Why would anyone spend that kind of money for awkward sex :scratchhead: just so they can say I WAS FIRST that I know of lol.


----------



## Cosmos

LongWalk said:


> I don't think this is what love is all about. I don't even think BH should expect WW to replicate affair sex to be even. You cannot get parity.
> 
> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


My father had a name for them - "wh0remongers." Even so, the term implies that any woman such a person sleeps with are automatically slvts/wh0res and therefore responsible for the term in the first place!


----------



## Machiavelli

tacoma said:


> If we want these professions gone we're going to have to re-evaluate what we value.


That's never going to change. I knew girls making $100,000 part-time at the club Clinton went to in Dallas (while president) back in the early 90's. I met them via their boyfriends, who are still guests of Uncle Sam. Having a stripper girlfriend is a great way to launder your cash earnings from other....financial transactions.


----------



## Machiavelli

Cosmos said:


> My father had a name for them - "wh0remongers." Even so, the term implies that any woman such a person sleeps with are automatically slvts/wh0res and therefore responsible for the term in the first place!


That would be a pimp. Monger = seller, as in fishmonger, ironmonger, cheesemonger, etc. Whøre = prosititute. So, a whøremonger is a seller of whøres, or a pimp in modern English.


----------



## Machiavelli

Sandfly said:


> I recognise this: One of the best bits of the bible  :
> 
> "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword.
> 
> Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell....
> 
> Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,
> 
> ... lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,
> 
> lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.
> 
> At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent."
> 
> Sounds pretty bad!


The King James English is very poetic isn't it? In the new translation it just says "The Effing you're getting is not worth the Effing you're getting."


----------



## Caribbean Man

treyvion said:


> Much of the damage is how they potray sex and emotional closeness. Also how they have to compartamentalize their actions. Much of what they do in mass produced porn is "degrading" to them, so they have to fight through that aspect.
> 
> It wouldn't take someone a week or a month to get over it, but several years.
> 
> Also they would have to move away from the lifestyle and the people in it.
> 
> Also their choices in their personal life could not seek to gain advantage of any fame or any whorish ways that were required to be in there in the first place.
> 
> It's something about the values system of people in extreme lifestyles or degrading lifestyles that always gets you into trouble.
> 
> Alot of them are bi-polar as a result. It means a part of their psyche is literally a completely different person.
> 
> What about the ego built up in there? That they can degrade their bodies for money, but yes should be viewed as almost a "god" in comparison to a "normal" man? How about that?
> 
> It's not easy, but I wouldn't discount one, as long as they were out of it. They had made the choice to be out of it before me, and went through the time required. Also I could look back over the last 3-5 years of their life and their choices and situaions they allowed themself to be involved in, reflected that it was a different person who is not like that anymore.
> 
> If you look at the ways of the world, male getting with porn star, former long term *****, etc... It usually ends VERY VERY badly. It's been going on since the end of time and is even written about in the bible about these types of demons taking a man into the pits of hell with them.
> 
> I still believe they can change, it's just not likely.


It takes an epiphany for someone involved in the adult industry at the professional level to leave it, and start over their lives.

Some of these women who leave successfully, either finds God / Religion and joins a church. Others return to school , get themselves qualified and try to land a normal job , but it is very difficult, because of society's double standards.
Very few make the successful transition into the mainstream film industry.

There is a well known female politician / Political activist /feminist in our country who was a former stripper / prostitute. She left the industry, returned to school and studied law.
She got involved in politics, ran for office and won. People voted for her.

There is another well known female pastor down here who was a former high priced escort , and her epiphany came when she was addicted to crack and found out that she was pregnant.She ruined her life with drugs. She decided to join a church, got cleaned up , and finished school. Eventually she married a pastor , and they now have an NGO offering help to sex workers who _want_ to get out of that business.

I think a change of personal value system is possible , it takes quite a lot, individual counselling etc to accomplish this.
But it takes an epiphany.
For some that revelation usually comes when they hit rock bottom and are at their lowest emotionally.

Others go and go until the industry kicks them out , because beauty fades, and there are younger ones coming up.


----------



## Caribbean Man

treyvion said:


> I doubt the politician viewed the ***** as his "equal", it's more among the lines that they viewed they should be able to consume this level of commodity. If it was viewed as their equal, they would like to be seen marrying it.


I wonder if he ever spent $4000.00 on his wife in one night?


----------



## JCD

treyvion said:


> Not while they are in, nor several years afterwards either. That value system would not change. They would prefer an actor, athelete, someone in music, a drug dealer, some high image person, probably wouldn't appreciate a more "normal" person who works hard for what they earn and is not on the edge of life...
> 
> That would be normal.
> 
> However a minority want to get out of it all together, so they would prefer this safe "island" of a normal person who is away from all their former vices.


In the former case, she wouldn't even be a factor because she wouldn't be LOOKING for normal me. Our paths would not cross.

It is the later that MIGHT be a factor. And as I said, in any analysis, she would have to show that she HAD changed.


----------



## JCD

Sandfly said:


> I recognise this: One of the best bits of the bible  :
> 
> "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword.
> 
> Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell....
> 
> Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,
> 
> ... lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,
> 
> lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.
> 
> At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent."
> 
> Sounds pretty bad!


"Go forth and sin no more."

That is the Gospel of the Christ: that one might have been a horrible person but could be made clean.

Are we to gainsay God that it CANNOT happen? I think it unlikely, but I am open to it happening.


----------



## techmom

Caribbean Man said:


> I wonder if he ever spent $4000.00 on his wife in one night?


That's deep and it is something to think about. As a wife, I would find it telling that my hubby would spend that type of cash on someone he deemed a *****, or someone beneath him. This thread opened my eyes a bit.

I have a question though, would guys spend their last dime on someone who fulfills their every sexual fantasy, or their wife who stays home, raises the kids, has sex with the hubby enthusiastically but doesn't fulfill every fantasy?


----------



## Caribbean Man

JCD said:


> "*Go forth and sin no more*."


Interesting quote.

That quote was made by Christ when he was speaking to a prostitute he rescued from certain death at the hands of men.

Although Biblical historians debate it, some think it was Mary Magdalene, one of the followers of Christ.

The town of Magdala on the Sothe Western coast of Galalee, where she was from was famous for prostitution.


----------



## over20

Christ also told the group surrounding....Mary M..about to stone her..."He who hath not sinned cast forth the first stone"....a lesson on judging others and extending mercy instead


----------



## xakulax

techmom said:


> That's deep and it is something to think about. As a wife, I would find it telling that my hubby would spend that type of cash on someone he deemed a *****, or someone beneath him. This thread opened my eyes a bit.
> 
> I have a question though, would guys spend their last dime on someone who fulfills their every sexual fantasy, or their wife who stays home, raises the kids, has sex with the hubby enthusiastically but doesn't fulfill every fantasy?



I would rather spend my money on the one I love the most, trust the most, and have the most history with rather then some escort that's just me.


----------



## Caribbean Man

techmom said:


> That's deep and it is something to think about. As a wife, I would find it telling that my hubby would spend that type of cash on someone he deemed a *****, or someone beneath him. This thread opened my eyes a bit.
> 
> I have a question though, would guys spend their last dime on someone who fulfills their every sexual fantasy, or their wife who stays home, raises the kids, has sex with the hubby enthusiastically but doesn't fulfill every fantasy?


Well therein lies the problem.

No one is entitled to have their every fantasy fulfilled by their wife / partner in a marriage. It is something that is given willingly and is an act of love.

A man or even a married man who would spend _that_ amount of money on a prostitute is obviously wired badly.

What " service " could a prostitute give that is worth $ 4000.00 / hr?

What fantasy could another woman provide which your loving wife can't?

I think it's better and cheaper to spend the time and money on your relationship with your wife , and she would gladly fulfill all your fantasies.


----------



## Sandfly

He also said:

"Canst thou do this? I can. Behold!"

(*walks on water*)

I think whenever Christ forgave a sin, it was only the sins of those who truly regretted whatever it was they'd done.

How would you know if a person has regretted anything, or if it's just a show for your benefit? We're not God, so we can't just look into their eyes.

So we have to judge by behaviour over a long time.

I don't have time to gamble my years of 'getting to know' you on a slight chance they've had an epiphany, so I'll still pass.


----------



## over20

Touche Sandfly......nice


----------



## Mmdog60

I'm a strong no on that.


----------



## JCD

Sandfly said:


> He also said:
> 
> "Canst thou do this? I can. Behold!"
> 
> (*walks on water*)
> 
> I think whenever Christ forgave a sin, it was only the sins of those who truly regretted whatever it was they'd done.
> 
> How would you know if a person has regretted anything, or if it's just a show for your benefit? We're not God, so we can't just look into their eyes.
> 
> So we have to judge by behaviour over a long time.
> 
> I don't have time to gamble my years of 'getting to know' you on a slight chance they've had an epiphany, so I'll still pass.


It isn't implied that you suddenly had to marry such a person (though if the Bible is to be believed, God did order that one Prophet to marry a ***** as a symbolic lesson).

However, you are no longer allowed to treat this person as garbage.

"All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

This is a very prickly verse. It means that Sandfly is as big a sinner as Jenny Jameson...however big a sinner she is.

How...horrifying a verse. That for all our judgment and good works, for our cleaving to 'decent society', we are, in some clearly measureable ways, no better or worse than Ivan the Terrible, who destroyed cities.

I am not here to banter verses. However, if one wants to use them to paint someone has horrible, there are a few pretention pricking verses which serve.

So...I treat them all the same. Or as much as I can. If someone is going to bring me low, I avoid them. Everyone else gets a fair shake.


----------



## bandit.45

xakulax said:


> I actually meet Gianna Michaels once she would be the exemption to my rule under all that sexiness lies a very smart and creative women.


She really is a beautiful woman, possessing may what be the most smoking hot body of any female in existence.


----------



## Machiavelli

JCD said:


> "Go forth and sin no more."
> 
> That is the Gospel of the Christ: that one might have been a horrible person but could be made clean.
> 
> Are we to gainsay God that it CANNOT happen? I think it unlikely, but I am open to it happening.


6000 extra points for "gainsay!"


----------



## over20

bandit.45 said:


> She really is a beautiful woman, possessing may what be the most smoking hot body of any female in existence.


IDK...I am still partial to Shannon Tweed or Pam Anderson...even though they aren't porn actresses....but stunning nude models.


----------



## bandit.45

over20 said:


> IDK...I am still partial to Shannon Tweed or Pam Anderson...even though they aren't porn actresses....but stunning nude models.


She is not as pretty in the face as they are, but her body is 100% all natural.


----------



## techmom

Caribbean Man said:


> Well therein lies the problem.
> 
> No one is entitled to have their every fantasy fulfilled by their wife / partner in a marriage. It is something that is given willingly and is an act of love.
> 
> A man or even a married man who would spend _that_ amount of money on a prostitute is obviously wired badly.
> 
> What " service " could a prostitute give that is worth $ 4000.00 / hr?
> 
> What fantasy could another woman provide which your loving wife can't?
> 
> I think it's better and cheaper to spend the time and money on your relationship with your wife , and she would gladly fulfill all your fantasies.


The "Madonna /wh*ore " complex comes to mind...


----------



## over20

bandit.45 said:


> She is not as pretty in the face as they are, but her body is 100% all natural.


What about Jesse James? I think she is very pretty, a little spinner, married and looks "normal"....:scratchhead:


----------



## WorkingOnMe

over20 said:


> What about Jesse James? I think she is very pretty, a little spinner, married and looks "normal"....:scratchhead:



This may be the first time I've heard a woman use the term spinner in this context.


----------



## bandit.45

I'm not into porn. What is a spinner? 

I saw a pic of Michaels on some poster and had to find out who she was. Wow!


----------



## over20

Really.....I mean, she is though....nice and tight, she married another porn star, they have a child...she is very grounded...IDk..I am blonde maybe that's why I like other blondes......Jesse just seems pretty hot and normal?


----------



## over20

bandit.45 said:


> I'm not into porn. What is a spinner?
> 
> I saw a pic of Michaels on some poster and had to find out who she was. Wow!


Hahaha...funny guy....a spinner is so nice and tight.....well...you what she does......she spins around and around and around...


----------



## bandit.45

over20 said:


> Hahaha...funny guy....a spinner is so nice and tight.....well...you what she does......she spins around and around and around...


Oh...


----------



## over20

You baited me....... ;-)


----------



## over20

Anyway...getting back to the OP....

No ,I totally think it is wrong....unless your lovely wife will become one for you....and that is all I have to say tonight!


----------



## kilgore

over20 said:


> Anyway...getting back to the OP....
> 
> No ,I totally think it is wrong....unless your lovely wife will become one for you....and that is all I have to say tonight!


+1


----------



## kilgore

over20 said:


> check mate, is a lovely wife who spins around and around and around....


i'm dizzy


----------



## over20

Hahahaha.....no the woman is suppose to spin on you....dang......

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## kilgore

over20 said:


> Hahahaha.....no the woman is suppose to spin on you....dang......
> 
> :rofl::rofl::rofl:


oh...

where the hell is my new avatar...?


----------



## over20

What kind of Avatar did you want to change too?


----------



## kilgore

over20 said:


> What kind of Avatar did you want to change too?


isn't it condi rice? i know you hate that one, but i think it's funny


----------



## over20

Ok...no ,not porn star category...hence the thread title?


----------



## kilgore

over20 said:


> Ok...no ,not porn star category...hence the thread title?


no, i'd be a bad porn star. furry with a small penis is not the ideal, i'm guessing. lol.


----------



## tacoma

jld said:


> Exactly. This is all an economic problem.
> 
> I think you must be a very kind and mature man, tacoma, to look beyond what society seems to say, as hypocritical as it is. I am very happy that your wife has someone who loves her just as she is.


No more kind than the average man. I don't think.
I simply have never held my cultures "ideals" in general as rational or desireable to begin with.

Not only do I love her just as she is I couldn't love her if she was anything other than exactly what she is.


----------



## jaharthur

LongWalk said:


> There is no word for "male slvt". Should there be?


Absolutely.


----------



## JCD

Caribbean Man said:


> I wonder if he ever spent $4000.00 on his wife in one night?


Sure he has. It was that time he paid for their kids birth. It was that time he signed the paper to buy that house for his family. It was one of the MANY times he signed on the line that was dotted to purchase a family car.

Let's not dismiss the contributions of men. Frankly, $4000 is chump change compared to the incredible amounts of time and effort that a husband of any wealth level invests in his family.

This is not to defend Spitzer, whom I do not like, but to provide a valid context.

Spitzer didn't stay up late at night taking care of a sick kid for the prostitute. He didn't go to her dad's funeral. He didn't take her on a vacation to southern France which he personally loathed, but his wife adored.

Men do things for their wives that they do for no one else and women dismiss this fact at their relationship peril. And it is same for the wives too!


----------



## JCD

Caribbean Man said:


> *What fantasy could another woman provide which your loving wife can't?*
> 
> I think it's better and cheaper to spend the time and money on your relationship with your wife , and she would gladly fulfill all your fantasies.


Being a twenty year old C Cup different person.

Sorry, just playing devil's advocate.

He shouldn't do this, but you asked.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Caribbean Man said:


> No one is entitled to have their every fantasy fulfilled by their wife / partner in a marriage. It is something that is given willingly and is an act of love.
> 
> A man or even a married man who would spend _that_ amount of money on a prostitute is obviously wired badly.
> 
> What " service " could a prostitute give that is worth $ 4000.00 / hr?
> 
> What fantasy could another woman provide which your loving wife can't?
> 
> I think it's better and cheaper to spend the time and money on your relationship with your wife , and she would gladly fulfill all your fantasies.


I agree with this. I used to work with execs that spent ridiculous amounts of money on mid level escorts. Being honest if I were in a sexless marriage I probably would do it. But I'm not. So its a complete waste of money. 

Whenever I spend money on something I can't help but look at the opportunity cost of it. Let me see $1500 for two hours with an escort, or should I buy that fancy new mountain bike and take the wife out someplace nice. Or should I invest it instead. I just don't see how one can even rationalize spending that much money on something so temporary. For that type of dough I'd rather have something that lasts longer. One could even fly his wife to any city in America and have an awesome weekend.


----------



## Anon Pink

kilgore said:


> no, i'd be a bad porn star. furry with a small penis is not the ideal, i'm guessing. lol.


Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that Kilgore has a very small penis and he wants Over20 to make a comment on his very small penis? Two threads now I've come across their exchanges! Yuck! 
ETA: make that 3 threads!

Kilgore, give it a break.

You have a tiny little winky! Bravo! Hooray for you! ......or did you want some sort of humiliating insults thrown at you? Kilgore's small penis....:rofl:

Better now?


----------



## ScarletBegonias

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


I think it's possible but it depends on the individual and their reasons for choosing the career path they chose.

My thought is I don't think I could date someone in a "showy" career like the ones listed.I feel like it takes a certain kind of personality to pursue those paths and typically those personalities don't mesh with mine.My favorite types of people are the more subtle folks.The ones who sort of fly under the radar of everyone else. 

I'd love to be acquaintances with someone who had a past like the op listed! They'd have fascinating stories I bet!


----------



## Caribbean Man

JCD said:


> Being a twenty year old C Cup different person.
> 
> Sorry, just playing devil's advocate.
> 
> He shouldn't do this, but you asked.


Lol,

Shucks, never thought of that.

I guess I take some things for granted because my wife still has hers.
We haven't got kids.
And I'm more of a legs and hips kinda guy.


----------



## Anon Pink

JCD said:


> Being a twenty year old C Cup different person.
> 
> Sorry, just playing devil's advocate.
> 
> He shouldn't do this, but you asked.


But your wife can provide this, if you can pay the plastic surgeon.


----------



## RandomDude

$4000 to bang a lady that doesn't even want to be banged by you - she wants ur money! HA!

If they really have such limited game, they should invest that money on themselves, buy new clothes, get their age spots removed, hair grown back, gym trainer, charisma classes, etc etc -> then they will have a multitude of ladies for FREE!

Bah, some people just have no financial management skills


----------



## ReformedHubby

RandomDude said:


> $4000 to bang a lady that doesn't even want to be banged by you - she wants ur money! HA!
> 
> If they really have such limited game, they should invest that money on themselves, buy new clothes, get their age spots removed, hair grown back, gym trainer, charisma classes, etc etc -> then they will have a multitude of ladies for FREE!
> 
> Bah, some people just have no financial management skills


I think you misunderstand their motives. If a man has $4000 to spend on a hooker. He is definitely somebody with influence and power (unless of course he inherited his dough). He could probably have a mistress or even a couple of them if he chose to. However mistresses tend to demand more of your time, and also can blow up your family. If you're not a public figure its less riskier to go the call girl route.

The game is changing of course, if you _are_ a public political figure high priced call girls have been known to break the code of discretion so they can have a few seconds of fame, hire an attorney and black mail you into some sort of settlement.


----------



## Wolf1974

techmom said:


> That's deep and it is something to think about. As a wife, I would find it telling that my hubby would spend that type of cash on someone he deemed a *****, or someone beneath him. This thread opened my eyes a bit.
> 
> I have a question though, would guys spend their last dime on someone who fulfills their every sexual fantasy, or their wife who stays home, raises the kids, has sex with the hubby enthusiastically but doesn't fulfill every fantasy?


Depends on the fantasy I suppose and how badly they want it fulfilled is my guess


----------



## xakulax

bandit.45 said:


> She really is a beautiful woman, possessing may what be the most smoking hot body of any female in existence.




Another name worth mentioning would be sophie dee a very attractive woman and down to earth her accent does take some getting used to tho.


----------



## bandit.45

RandomDude said:


> $4000 to bang a lady that doesn't even want to be banged by you - she wants ur money! HA!
> 
> If they really have such limited game, they should invest that money on themselves, buy new clothes, get their age spots removed, hair grown back, gym trainer, charisma classes, etc etc -> then they will have a multitude of ladies for FREE!
> 
> Bah, some people just have no financial management skills


This is a little off track, but I seem to recall a couple years back there was a male poster who, after having learned of his WW's LTA just a month or so before their 25th anniversary, took the $10,000 or so he had been saving up to take her on a two week European holiday and used it to fly to Vegas and spend four or five nights at the Bunny Ranch?

I cannot remember if that was here or SI or MB. It's been so long. 

Anyway, he sent her pics and videos of him screwing most of the girls there. She was so devastated that she ended up in the hospital.


----------



## JCD

Anon Pink said:


> But your wife can provide this, if you can pay the plastic surgeon.


Point anon pink.

Well...half a point. He can nip and tuck her so she LOOKS different and drag the girls back north. He cannot make her 'new'.

There is nothing like that first kiss. Which is why affairs are so pernicious.


----------



## Anon Pink

JCD said:


> Point anon pink.
> 
> Well...half a point. He can nip and tuck her so she LOOKS different and drag the girls back north. He cannot make her 'new'.
> 
> There is nothing like that first kiss. Which is why affairs are so pernicious.


I wouldn't know about that first kiss, been married so long... I imagine it's similar to really great make up sex.

So when you're tired of the old wife, pick a fight, give the silent treatment for a day or so, agonize over it, then make up. Aaaaand you're welcome!


----------



## JCD

Anon Pink said:


> I wouldn't know about that first kiss, been married so long... I imagine it's similar to really great make up sex.
> 
> So when you're tired of the old wife, pick a fight, give the silent treatment for a day or so, agonize over it, then make up. Aaaaand you're welcome!


I do one better. I travel like a maniac. So when I get home, it's like coming home to a stranger who knows what meals I like and isn't a total idiot to converse with. New all the time with the comfort of experience. No taking one another for granted either. But I wouldn't suggest that for everyone.

Oh...and thank you.


----------



## xakulax

bandit.45 said:


> This is a little off track, but I seem to recall a couple years back there was a male poster who, after having learned of his WW's LTA just a month or so before their 25th anniversary, took the $10,000 or so he had been saving up to take her on a two week European holiday and used it to fly to Vegas and spend four or five nights at the Bunny Ranch?
> 
> I cannot remember if that was here or SI or MB. It's been so long.
> 
> Anyway, he sent her pics and videos of him screwing most of the girls there. She was so devastated that she ended up in the hospital.




Wow talk about retaliatory strike $10,000 for five nights i'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack afterwards or could walk.


----------



## JCD

xakulax said:


> Wow talk about retaliatory strike $10,000 for five nights i'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack afterwards or could walk.


I think just dumping her vacation money would put her in the hospital.

The fact it was with other women was just icing on the cake.


----------



## DoF

Dating a porn star?

No, not even if I was looking for fun. Way too much risk for me to get emotionally attached.....and WAY too much STD risk.

I know myself all too well....


----------



## treyvion

What if your choice was to be celibate and sex starved vs porn star girlfriend done with the biz and really liked you and wanted to show love and appreciation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xakulax

treyvion said:


> What if your choice was to be celibate and sex starved vs porn star girlfriend done with the biz and really liked you and wanted to show love and appreciation?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Put it that way id go with option B


----------



## Cosmos

ebp123 said:


> I know a woman who used to be a call girl. Is there a difference? You get paid to have sex.
> 
> Pretty Woman anyone?


Very little difference, IMO. I also see very little difference between them and the people who pay to have sex with them.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Cosmos said:


> Very little difference, IMO. I also see very little difference between them and the people who pay to have sex with them.


I honestly hadn't thought about it this way. A very thought provoking post for me. For the most part outside of work I was a complete train wreck in my twenties. How would I feel if others judged me based on this? What if I was unable to get the kind of woman that I wanted because she saw me as tainted. To be honest, it would hurt. I wouldn't want to still be stuck dating other train wrecks, I would want people to accept that I have changed.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I haven't dated one myself, but I have friends who are porn stars, sex workers and strippers. My H has dated some, and I've dated other guys who have. Where I live there are a lot of sex workers and it is very liberal here...people don't look down on it like they do elsewhere. Both of my kids have friends they grew up with who are now sex workers or strippers. My son has dated some.

It seems that a lot of this depends on what your cultural attitudes are. I haven't dated one but I wouldn't rule it out. My H is so good at sex I have accused him of having a career at it before me.


----------



## samyeagar

Faithful Wife said:


> I haven't dated one myself, but I have friends who are porn stars, sex workers and strippers. My H has dated some, and I've dated other guys who have. Where I live there are a lot of sex workers and it is very liberal here...people don't look down on it like they do elsewhere. Both of my kids have friends they grew up with who are now sex workers or strippers. My son has dated some.
> 
> It seems that a lot of this depends on what your cultural attitudes are. I haven't dated one but I wouldn't rule it out. My H is so good at sex *I have accused him of having a career at it before me. *


Funny this...my STBW has accused me of the same thing


----------



## Created2Write

JCD said:


> It isn't implied that you suddenly had to marry such a person (though if the Bible is to be believed, God did order that one Prophet to marry a ***** as a symbolic lesson).
> 
> However, you are no longer allowed to treat this person as garbage.
> 
> "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."
> 
> This is a very prickly verse. It means that Sandfly is as big a sinner as Jenny Jameson...however big a sinner she is.
> 
> How...horrifying a verse. That for all our judgment and good works, for our cleaving to 'decent society', we are, in some clearly measureable ways, no better or worse than Ivan the Terrible, who destroyed cities.
> 
> I am not here to banter verses. However, if one wants to use them to paint someone has horrible, there are a few pretention pricking verses which serve.
> 
> So...I treat them all the same. Or as much as I can. If someone is going to bring me low, I avoid them. Everyone else gets a fair shake.


:iagree:

We can take a firm stance against marrying a porn star without judging them as being untrustworthy or somehow less deserving of love and acceptance than the rest of us.


----------



## Cosmos

ReformedHubby said:


> I honestly hadn't thought about it this way. A very thought provoking post for me. For the most part outside of work I was a complete train wreck in my twenties. How would I feel if others judged me based on this? What if I was unable to get the kind of woman that I wanted because she saw me as tainted. To be honest, it would hurt. I wouldn't want to still be stuck dating other train wrecks, I would want people to accept that I have changed.


And, unfortunately, there are some who would judge - I know I did. 

When I was in my 20s I was dating a _really_ nice guy. I liked him, my parents liked him and I'd met his parents and liked them too. Unfortunately, he casually told he me about a 'fun trip to Amsterdam' and that was the end of him as far as a long term relationship was concerned. I was a virgin and there was no way I wanted to be with a man who treated sex so casually.


----------



## hookares

I've dated two ladies who have been "exotic dancers" in their past.
Unlike my cheating ex-wife, neither of them have lied to me and both were truly sorry when I told them I had no plans for matrimony.


----------



## JCD

Cosmos said:


> And, unfortunately, there are some who would judge - I know I did.
> 
> When I was in my 20s I was dating a _really_ nice guy. I liked him, my parents liked him and I'd met his parents and liked them too. Unfortunately, he casually told he me about a 'fun trip to Amsterdam' and that was the end of him as far as a long term relationship was concerned. I was a virgin and there was no way I wanted to be with a man who treated sex so casually.


And this is the thing: when the regular threads about sexual history come up, the women usually want that history to be TOTALLY off limits. And yet some 20 y.o. fun on his part somehow disqualifies him. So the obvious rejoinder is that MALE sexual history should ALSO be off limits. 

Either that or women should start pushing porn stars 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TiggyBlue

Cosmos said:


> Very little difference, IMO. I also see very little difference between them and the people who pay to have sex with them.


:iagree:


----------



## Anon Pink

Cosmos said:


> And, unfortunately, there are some who would judge - I know I did.
> 
> When I was in my 20s I was dating a _really_ nice guy. I liked him, my parents liked him and I'd met his parents and liked them too. Unfortunately, he casually told he me about a 'fun trip to Amsterdam' and that was the end of him as far as a long term relationship was concerned. I was a virgin and there was no way I wanted to be with a man who treated sex so casually.


But you were very young and inexperienced. How would you feel now?


----------



## xakulax

hookares said:


> I've dated two ladies who have been "exotic dancers" in their past.
> Unlike my cheating ex-wife, neither of them have lied to me and both were truly sorry when I told them I had no plans for matrimony.




Funny how someone you would think would be a high candidate for cheating could turn out to be the most loyal in a relationship I guess sometimes to say about sewing your oats early in life


----------



## JCD

Cosmos said:


> Very little difference, IMO. I also see very little difference between them and the people who pay to have sex with them.


So there is no difference between a person who occasionally grabs a toke and someone who constantly pushes weed or works as a mule to ensure supply?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DoF

JCD said:


> So there is no difference between a person who occasionally grabs a toke and someone who constantly pushes weed or works as a mule to ensure supply?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unless you are talking Coke....Heroin....Meth.....what does it matter.

Weed? Come on now.


----------



## always_alone

JCD said:


> So there is no difference between a person who occasionally grabs a toke and someone who constantly pushes weed or works as a mule to ensure supply?


Supply and demand are interconnected. If one is tainted, so is the other.


----------



## Faithful Wife

"pushes weed" :rofl:


----------



## DoF

Sounds to me like a toke session is in order for TAM


----------



## Created2Write

While there is a difference between someone who occasionally uses weed and someone who sells it, I think Cosmos point is, when it comes to their ability to still be successful in life, there's no difference. The person who tries it at a party, and the person who distributes it, have the same potential to make something of themselves in life. Same as someone who has slept around, compared to a porn star, while in different lifestyles, aren't going to automatically fail in their relationships because of that lifestyle.


----------



## Cosmos

JCD said:


> And this is the thing: *when the regular threads about sexual history come up, the women usually want that history to be TOTALLY off limits. * And yet some 20 y.o. fun on his part somehow disqualifies him. So the obvious rejoinder is that MALE sexual history should ALSO be off limits.
> 
> Either that or women should start pushing porn stars
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I must have missed those threads... I don't recall any women on TAM saying that their sexual history should be "off limits."

It's up to each and every one of us to decide whether or not someone is compatible with our value system. A man who pays for sex is incompatible with mine.


----------



## JCD

Created2Write said:


> While there is a difference between someone who occasionally uses weed and someone who sells it, I think Cosmos point is, when it comes to their ability to still be successful in life, there's no difference. The person who tries it at a party, and the person who distributes it, have the same potential to make something of themselves in life. Same as someone who has slept around, compared to a porn star, while in different lifestyles, aren't going to automatically fail in their relationships because of that lifestyle.


I think there is a huge difference. Hugh Grant still makes movies. Charlie Sheen still works.

The women they used? Since they came from a different socio-economic sector, not so much.

But more importantly, Cosmos' fiancé or potential fiancé wasn't graphically emotionally changed by his 'experience'. He had a decent career one assumes.

Hence my analogy of weed use and drug dealing. There is a lot of stress, fear, law breaking and moral tarnishing to actually DEAL vs. a person who only lights up on occasion.

Look at Breaking Bad or Weeds. A casual user does not face that kind of (dramatized) nonsense. that a manufacturer or dealer does. So the degree of internal change for a sex WORKER vs. a sex USER is substantial.

Your opinion may differ.


----------



## Created2Write

I get that there is a difference in their choices, and the extremity at which they're breaking the law, and the difference in their boundaries/morality, and I don't disagree with that. Same with the promiscuous vs the porn star. 

However, I maintain that they are(in both cases) still human beings, and they still have potential to be successful in their lives and relationships.


----------



## JCD

:I agree:

I think (and correct me if I am wrong) that the comparison was made in a pejorative snea and not a career comparison.

Which goes back to a favorite TAM topic: how much does sexual history matter? If I am supposed to give a girl a pass for a six month relationship to a Hells Angel named Thor because she says it was 'in her past when she was stupid' how is dismissing a guy for a weekend in Bangkok any different?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Machiavelli

bandit.45 said:


> Anyway, he sent her pics and videos of him screwing most of the girls there. She was so devastated that she ended up in the hospital.


The poor lady! Of course she had a breakdown. What a sorry @sshole not to understand that her LTR was different and was never meant to hurt him! [/SARC]


----------



## Machiavelli

Cosmos said:


> A man who pays for sex is incompatible with mine.


That would be a low sexual value male on the Greek alphabet; not Beta, definitely Delta and/or Gamma.


----------



## Machiavelli

Faithful Wife said:


> My H is so good at sex I have accused him of having a career at it before me.





samyeagar said:


> Funny this...my STBW has accused me of the same thing


The more you do it the better you get. More stamina, more control. When you've got a steady supply for a good period of time, you see that practice makes perfect. I suppose that's why women value experienced males more than vice versa.


----------



## JCD

The difference between a mistress, a prostitute and a wife:

Mistress: "Are you finished honey?"

Prostitute: "You are finished!"

Wife: "Green...I think I'll paint the ceiling green..."


----------



## Faithful Wife

Machiavelli said:


> The more you do it the better you get. More stamina, more control. When you've got a steady supply for a good period of time, you see that practice makes perfect. I suppose that's why women value experienced males more than vice versa.


Gee sam...I guess your stbw doesn't value you because you don't have enough experience and my husband doesn't value me because I do.


----------



## xakulax

Machiavelli i'm curious what's your opinion of the new omega male type 



Urban Dictionary: omega male


----------



## bbdad

When I was single, I dated a couple strippers. We both knew going it that it was not long term. It was just college fun. 

I'm not sure I could be in a long term relationship with a stripper / porn star / escort / etc that was still working in that field. If it was in the past, who really cares.

But, dating for fun..sure, why not. I was getting for free what many guys were putting dollars in g-strings and going home with nothing.


----------



## JCD

xakulax said:


> Machiavelli i'm curious what's your opinion of the new omega male type
> 
> 
> 
> Urban Dictionary: omega male


Now, brought to you by Xakulax 


*The Machiavelli/Faithful Wife Show! *

Wimper.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Don't bring me into it, I have no interest in what anyone thinks of that stuff.


----------



## Don-Juan

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


For me the answer is no.


----------



## RandomDude

bandit.45 said:


> This is a little off track, but I seem to recall a couple years back there was a male poster who, after having learned of his WW's LTA just a month or so before their 25th anniversary, took the $10,000 or so he had been saving up to take her on a two week European holiday and used it to fly to Vegas and spend four or five nights at the Bunny Ranch?
> 
> I cannot remember if that was here or SI or MB. It's been so long.
> 
> Anyway, he sent her pics and videos of him screwing most of the girls there. She was so devastated that she ended up in the hospital.


Wow... what can I say? Except that revenge is best served cold! Haha


----------



## LongWalk

Louis Theroux made a great BBC documentary about prostitution in Nevada.

And he also interviewed people in Twilight of the Porn Stars.


----------



## xakulax

JCD said:


> Now, brought to you by Xakulax
> 
> 
> *The Machiavelli/Faithful Wife Show! *
> 
> Wimper.




huh :scratchhead:


I was curious because Machiavelli seems to be the aficionado in Greek culture and the omega male is relatively new male construct


----------



## Caribbean Man

LongWalk said:


> Louis Theroux made a great BBC documentary about prostitution in Nevada.


Yes , I remember looking at that documentary.
I think it was shot on location at the Bunny Ranch.

The girls in that documentary seemed very articulate and well manicured and highly paid.

Interesting documentary!


----------



## LongWalk

I am listening to it now in the background. Very moving. Weird. Sad.


----------



## Machiavelli

xakulax said:


> Machiavelli i'm curious what's your opinion of the new omega male type
> 
> 
> 
> Urban Dictionary: omega male


I have a low opinion of that definition. Omega Ωμέγα is the last letter of the Greek alphabet, basically a Grade-Z male within our context.

Vox Day's definition of Omega Man is a pretty good one:
_Omega: The truly unfortunate. Omegas are the social losers who were never in the game. Sometimes creepy, sometimes damaged, often clueless, and always undesirable. They're not at the party. It would never have crossed anyone's mind to invite them in the first place. Omegas are either totally indifferent to women or hate them with a borderline homicidal fury.

Lifetime sexual partners < 2_


----------



## SurpriseMyself

ReformedHubby said:


> Well...I might as well just put it all out there. But only for the sake of making a point. Yes I slept with her (the adult film actress), but that was before I knew she was married. Also, I wasn't embarrassed to be seen with her in general. However, she still wasn't wife material. I think that all people (men and women) look for different things in short term versus long term relationships. Is that so wrong?


Ah... so the porn star is attractive while the prostitute is not. That is what makes it ok to sleep with a woman who gets paid to have sex. Interesting...


----------



## alexm

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


I think the answer is simpler than most people are making it out to be here: it all depends on you and her, and how you are together. Really no different than any other relationship.

I'll admit, my knee-jerk reaction was "hell no", but then when I started to think about it, what does it matter what one person did in a previous life?

One of the recurring threads here over the years is the guy (or girl) who is dating or married to somebody who has a complicated or abundant sexual past. The majority of responses to those threads are "get over it" and "as long as he/she is committed to you, it's all good", etc.

A lot of us have made some interesting choices in our pasts, and/or we are with a partner who has done the same. Whether it was once or twice, or there was a period of time where we continually made poor choices. People change and grow, and can settle down and be excellent partners, regardless of their pasts.

From where I'm standing, there's little difference between a former porn actress/actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners (or whatever is considered "high" to each of us). So one got paid, and the other did not. I understand the implications of being paid to do something like that, but don't dismiss the similar mental state one must be in (or have been in) to have had X number of partners prior to settling down.

So what I see here is a stigma about sex workers, and a hierarchical ranking of them, to boot. I don't disagree that this stigma exists, and it comes from somewhere, but at the end of the day it's irrelevant when two people love each other.

You don't have to be in porn to be "broken", either. Broken people can be fixed, or fix themselves, and go on to lead happy, normal lives.

Saying you'd never date a porn star because they're inherently broken (or more apropos, WERE broken, past tense) is no different than saying you'd never date someone who used to be addicted to gambling, or drugs, or anything else that society looks down upon. People often think "once broken, always broken" and that's just not the case.

As many here repeatedly say in the same old threads, holding someone's past against them is YOUR problem, not theirs.


----------



## over20

ebp123 said:


> Ah... so the porn star is attractive while the prostitute is not. That is what makes it ok to sleep with a woman who gets paid to have sex. Interesting...


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## kilgore

Anon Pink said:


> Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that Kilgore has a very small penis and he wants Over20 to make a comment on his very small penis? Two threads now I've come across their exchanges! Yuck!
> ETA: make that 3 threads!
> 
> Kilgore, give it a break.
> 
> You have a tiny little winky! Bravo! Hooray for you! ......or did you want some sort of humiliating insults thrown at you? Kilgore's small penis....:rofl:
> 
> Better now?


yikes


----------



## over20

Yikes....back to dating a porn star.


----------



## over20

Wow


----------



## LongWalk

There are some porn stars with small penises. Ed Powers was very successful with his amateurs.


----------



## xakulax

alexm said:


> I think the answer is simpler than most people are making it out to be here: it all depends on you and her, and how you are together. Really no different than any other relationship.
> 
> I'll admit, my knee-jerk reaction was "hell no", but then when I started to think about it, what does it matter what one person did in a previous life?
> 
> One of the recurring threads here over the years is the guy (or girl) who is dating or married to somebody who has a complicated or abundant sexual past. The majority of responses to those threads are "get over it" and "as long as he/she is committed to you, it's all good", etc.
> 
> A lot of us have made some interesting choices in our pasts, and/or we are with a partner who has done the same. Whether it was once or twice, or there was a period of time where we continually made poor choices. People change and grow, and can settle down and be excellent partners, regardless of their pasts.
> 
> From where I'm standing, there's little difference between a former porn actress/actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners (or whatever is considered "high" to each of us). So one got paid, and the other did not. I understand the implications of being paid to do something like that, but don't dismiss the similar mental state one must be in (or have been in) to have had X number of partners prior to settling down.
> 
> So what I see here is a stigma about sex workers, and a hierarchical ranking of them, to boot. I don't disagree that this stigma exists, and it comes from somewhere, but at the end of the day it's irrelevant when two people love each other.
> 
> You don't have to be in porn to be "broken", either. Broken people can be fixed, or fix themselves, and go on to lead happy, normal lives.
> 
> Saying you'd never date a porn star because they're inherently broken (or more apropos, WERE broken, past tense) is no different than saying you'd never date someone who used to be addicted to gambling, or drugs, or anything else that society looks down upon. People often think "once broken, always broken" and that's just not the case.
> 
> As many here repeatedly say in the same old threads, holding someone's past against them is YOUR problem, not theirs.





I hear what you're saying and I agree with some points but I think your missing one big factor their past sexual history is well documented via the internet for life.There is a difference between a former porn actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners the later doesn't televise it for the world to watch that's something you cant just "get over it" it will be there and a part of the relationship if you think mind movies are bad think what would happen with an erred Google search of your SO would do.


----------



## JCD

xakulax said:


> I hear what you're saying and I agree with some points but I think your missing one big factor their past sexual history is well documented via the internet for life.There is a difference between a former porn actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners the later doesn't televise it for the world to watch that's something you cant just "get over it" it will be there and a part of the relationship if you think mind movies are bad think what would happen with an erred Google search of your SO would do.


I agree to a certain extent. While some of us like to believe we are high minded, and I include myself in there, there are serious issues. Sure IF she fixed herself/himself, that is grand. However, unlike a recertified computer from Best Buy, there aren't any ways to 'test' if the person IS fixed and not just fooling themselves. And if you DO prod and poke the person in question, they will resent this eventually, fixed or not.

So I also won't judge someone for not taking a chance. Because it's all fun and games until you see your wife in a threesome with three ripped guys, or her coke using best friend for the old days drops by because of her abusive BF....and then she proposes her own threesome to reward you, appalling both of you.

Takes the glow off the relationship
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RandomDude

You just have to look at the effort one has taken to fix themselves and the amount of time since their past; but that's just my opinion. Still, it burnt me.

Ex was seemingly fixed, until the skeletons fell out of the closet during marriage anyway. Still, she was very loyal even though a sex addict. If one man can satisfy her insatiable desires then yay for her cause it ain't me regardless of the struggle over the years.


----------



## alexm

xakulax said:


> I hear what you're saying and I agree with some points but I think your missing one big factor their past sexual history is well documented via the internet for life.There is a difference between a former porn actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners the later doesn't televise it for the world to watch that's something you cant just "get over it" it will be there and a part of the relationship if you think mind movies are bad think what would happen with an erred Google search of your SO would do.


I hear you. But stuff like that wouldn't bother everybody.

It would bother me much much more if somebody I was married to or in love with, had a video of her having sex with an ex posted online, either accidentally or on purpose. And that sort of thing happens in this day and age.

In other words, it would bother me more knowing other people (and myself) had seen the person I'm with having real, actual sex with another person, as opposed to the staged, "fake" sex in a movie. It would still bother me either way, of course, but I think if I knew what she had done in the past, I could get over it. I think I'd have a VERY difficult time getting over seeing a "real" sex tape of my partner, even if it was before me.

In short, I would not be comfortable with it, but I would have previously known about it, expected it, and if I saw a future with this woman, I would deal with it. It would depend on how strongly I felt about this person, and vice versa.

And fwiw, rightly or wrongly, it would also depend a lot of what TYPE of porn this person had done. One on one stuff, "normal" porn, whatever you want to call it, or like 10 guys and a donkey. I think we all have our thresholds for what we can accept about our partners pasts, porn star or not. For me, I would rather my gf/wife have had 30 sexual partners individually than one instance of 5 guys at a time, for example. To me, the amount of sex is more or less irrelevant, but the TYPE of sex is a different story.


----------



## xakulax

alexm said:


> I hear you. But stuff like that wouldn't bother everybody.
> 
> It would bother me much much more if somebody I was married to or in love with, had a video of her having sex with an ex posted online, either accidentally or on purpose. And that sort of thing happens in this day and age.
> 
> In other words, it would bother me more knowing other people (and myself) had seen the person I'm with having real, actual sex with another person, as opposed to the staged, "fake" sex in a movie. It would still bother me either way, of course, but I think if I knew what she had done in the past, I could get over it. I think I'd have a VERY difficult time getting over seeing a "real" sex tape of my partner, even if it was before me.
> 
> In short, I would not be comfortable with it, but I would have previously known about it, expected it, and if I saw a future with this woman, I would deal with it. It would depend on how strongly I felt about this person, and vice versa.
> 
> And fwiw, rightly or wrongly, it would also depend a lot of what TYPE of porn this person had done. *One on one stuff, "normal" porn, whatever you want to call it, or like 10 guys and a donkey. I think we all have our thresholds* for what we can accept about our partners pasts, porn star or not. For me, I would rather my gf/wife have had 30 sexual partners individually than one instance of 5 guys at a time, for example. To me, the amount of sex is more or less irrelevant, but the TYPE of sex is a different story.




I agree completely with what you're saying one on one sex I can wrap my head around that but Fetish porn,gang bangs,or anything to do with animals is simply a no go.


----------



## Caribbean Man

JCD said:


> So I also won't judge someone for not taking a chance. Because it's all fun and games until you see your wife in a threesome with three ripped guys, or her coke using best friend for the old days drops by because of her abusive BF....and then she proposes her own threesome to reward you, appalling both of you.
> 
> Takes the glow off the relationship
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

But some guys have no problem seeing their wives being banged by three ripped guys.
They think it makes them more open minded and secure.

In fact, some wives ,also have absolutely no problem seeing three ripped guys _banging their husbands._

They say it gets them going...


----------



## xakulax

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree:
> 
> But some guys have no problem seeing their wives being banged by three ripped guys.
> They think it makes them more open minded and secure.
> 
> In fact, some wives ,also have absolutely no problem seeing three ripped guys _banging their husbands._
> 
> They say it gets them going...




Which brings up that old saying different strokes for different folks


----------



## Wolf1974

alexm said:


> I think the answer is simpler than most people are making it out to be here: it all depends on you and her, and how you are together. Really no different than any other relationship.
> 
> I'll admit, my knee-jerk reaction was "hell no", but then when I started to think about it, what does it matter what one person did in a previous life?
> 
> One of the recurring threads here over the years is the guy (or girl) who is dating or married to somebody who has a complicated or abundant sexual past. The majority of responses to those threads are "get over it" and "as long as he/she is committed to you, it's all good", etc.
> 
> A lot of us have made some interesting choices in our pasts, and/or we are with a partner who has done the same. Whether it was once or twice, or there was a period of time where we continually made poor choices. People change and grow, and can settle down and be excellent partners, regardless of their pasts.
> 
> From where I'm standing, there's little difference between a former porn actress/actor and somebody who has had many sexual partners (or whatever is considered "high" to each of us). So one got paid, and the other did not. I understand the implications of being paid to do something like that, but don't dismiss the similar mental state one must be in (or have been in) to have had X number of partners prior to settling down.
> 
> So what I see here is a stigma about sex workers, and a hierarchical ranking of them, to boot. I don't disagree that this stigma exists, and it comes from somewhere, but at the end of the day it's irrelevant when two people love each other.
> 
> You don't have to be in porn to be "broken", either. Broken people can be fixed, or fix themselves, and go on to lead happy, normal lives.
> 
> Saying you'd never date a porn star because they're inherently broken (or more apropos, WERE broken, past tense) is no different than saying you'd never date someone who used to be addicted to gambling, or drugs, or anything else that society looks down upon. People often think "once broken, always broken" and that's just not the case.
> 
> *As many here repeatedly say in the same old threads, holding someone's past against them is YOUR problem, not theirs.*



Not sure I agree with this part. As I look objectively at woman for a long term relationship I do hold into account their past. Have they ever cheated, ever done drugs and so on.

When it comes to the issue of sex I lean toward the conservative. I don't expect a woman I date to be be a virgin but same time if they are pulling out a calculator to figure out their past sexual number that's going to be a major turn off. Now if they were paid for it or not doesn't matter..... it's the treating of sex cavalierly that I would have an issue with.

Just my opinion


----------



## JCD

I don't know. Which would be better: a partner who had a 'normal' job but never had a relationship longer than three months...or a porn actress who had been in a married relationship for 6 years to another porn star before she cut loose of both because of the negatives of the industry?

This isn't an 'either/or' answer. I would probably not consider either a first choice pick...but the later probably would not be cut from the list. I've done my own stupid stuff
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Machiavelli

xakulax said:


> Which brings up that old saying different strokes for different folks


Bell curve: there's always one in a million, no matter what the topic.


----------



## JCD

Caribbean Man said:


> :iagree:
> 
> But some guys have no problem seeing their wives being banged by three ripped guys.
> They think it makes them more open minded and secure.
> 
> In fact, some wives ,also have absolutely no problem seeing three ripped guys _banging their husbands._
> 
> 
> 
> They say it gets them going...


While this is no doubt true, characterizing fetishes and open marriages such as this as a 'normal' marriage is not even in the same book. When going to that extreme, the idea of dating or marrying a porn star is a mere detail.

Even polygamy is not that 'open'. And a marriage with no boundaries is not a marriage at all.

You should stop with the 'shock jock' stuff. We've all heard of this before.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Machiavelli

Here's a pretty good real life example of the post-porn fallout.

Crissy Moran


----------



## LongWalk

Linda Lovelace rejected porn
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xakulax

Another story of post-porn fallout to add

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/26/stacie-halas-former-haydo_n_2019466.html


----------



## alexm

Wolf1974 said:


> it's the treating of sex cavalierly that I would have an issue with.


Exactly, it's YOUR problem, not hers.

And I agree with the way you feel about that - I do, too. But I'm just saying, it's us who can't/won't wrap our minds around it. Some people can, either because they don't care, or they just make themselves blind to it. 

There's always a risk one takes when selecting a mate. My relatively inexperienced ex-wife cheated on me. She wondered if there was something better out there, and apparently there was, lol! My experienced current wife has not, and I don't believe she ever will. She already knows what's out there, and it doesn't compare to me.


----------



## Faithful Wife

This "fallout" stuff won't happen for long. Soon it will be no biggie to anyone.


----------



## Wolf1974

alexm said:


> Exactly, it's YOUR problem, not hers.
> 
> And I agree with the way you feel about that - I do, too. But I'm just saying, it's us who can't/won't wrap our minds around it. Some people can, either because they don't care, or they just make themselves blind to it.
> 
> There's always a risk one takes when selecting a mate. My relatively inexperienced ex-wife cheated on me. She wondered if there was something better out there, and apparently there was, lol! My experienced current wife has not, and I don't believe she ever will. She already knows what's out there, and it doesn't compare to me.


I understand more clearly now what you're saying.

I'm very happy to have a problem with who I choose to allow in my life and daughters lives


----------



## Machiavelli

Faithful Wife said:


> This "fallout" stuff won't happen for long. Soon it will be no biggie to anyone.


Because we're all going to die?


----------



## Faithful Wife

Because so many people do porn of various types now and so many people watch, that it will just be so common that someone did some at one time that eventually we'll all stop shaming each other for that kind of crap.


----------



## JCD

The pendulum swings. I would not expect this very loose and free society to maintain forever. All my kids are much more conservative than I am
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jaharthur

Faithful Wife said:


> Because so many people do porn of various types now and so many people watch, that it will just be so common that someone did some at one time that eventually we'll all stop shaming each other for that kind of crap.


Color me dubious that "so many people do porn" and that it will be so common that nobody will care.

Boy, I sure hope we don't get there.


----------



## Faithful Wife

It already is like that where I live.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Lol,

Pron has ALWAYS been around.
The streets of the city of Pompeii every other building was a brothel.
Live sex shows were very common and every single type of kink.
Child prostitution was rampant.

Society today cannot compete with the attitudes towards sex of ancient civilizations.
The temples of Khajuraoh in Nadhaya Pradesh , India, known as the temples of eroticism , are filled with carvings and reliefs of every , single sex act one can think about. Beastiality , orl sex, anal sex , homosexuality, lesbianism, group orgies ,threesomes , watersport [ pissing] and much , much more. Can't post the pics here , too explicit , but you can go to this link to see it:

Khujaraho Temple Erotic Temples Images.

The temples of Khajuraoh are more than one thousand years old.

The Angkor Wat , the Egyptians , and many other civilizations also had the same.
The Roman senators and upper class men were known for their sexual appetite for young boys.
Roman Emperor Gaius aka , "Caligula" of the Julio-Claudian dynasty was known to throw lavish banquets for the roman elites and they would swap wives, have sex with animals and children. Caligula also openly boasted of having an ongoing sexual relationship with his sister. 
The wives of Egyptian Nobles were known to be sexually voracious and had an insatiable appetite for physically fit young men. Reference the biblical story of Joseph and Potiphor's , the Prime Minister of Egypt ,wife.
There is an interesting set of reliefs found in a small cave in 
" the valley of kings", that Egyptologists have confirmed as a drawing of Hatshepsut the fifth Pharoah of the eighteenth dynasty, and the only female Egyptian Pharoah , being taken sexually from behind, "doggie style", by one of her scribes.

The point is ,human beings have always had an appetite for the visual replica of sexual acts.
Doesn't mean that they want to live that lifestyle or that it was " no biggie."
If it was, then why would they waste time keeping a record of it?

Would anyone be interested in a vid or people brushing their teeth?

Erotica has always been with us and it has always and will always have a special place in society.The majority of people have always decided not to partake of it,either directly or indirectly by being married or association with those so involved, most times based on their socio economic backgrounds and religious/ moral persuasions.
Those that did partake were always a tiny minority, that's why it was noteworthy enough to record.

And that , isn't going to change anytime soon , based on the fact that we are quite tame in comparison to our ancestors. In addition we now have much more added risk factors , 
Including life threatening , sexually transmitted diseases.

Our ancestors didn't have _that_ to worry about.


----------



## Lyris

Anon Pink said:


> Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that Kilgore has a very small penis and he wants Over20 to make a comment on his very small penis? Two threads now I've come across their exchanges! Yuck!
> ETA: make that 3 threads!
> 
> Kilgore, give it a break.
> 
> You have a tiny little winky! Bravo! Hooray for you! ......or did you want some sort of humiliating insults thrown at you? Kilgore's small penis....:rofl:
> 
> Better now?



Yeah it's gross enough in Social, can you please keep it off the main boards.


----------



## jaharthur

Faithful Wife said:


> It already is like that where I live.


Really? And here I thought that the San Francisco Bay area, where I am, was a trendsetter. That's certainly not the case here.


----------



## hookares

Anon Pink said:


> Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that Kilgore has a very small penis and he wants Over20 to make a comment on his very small penis? Two threads now I've come across their exchanges! Yuck!
> ETA: make that 3 threads!
> 
> Kilgore, give it a break.
> 
> You have a tiny little winky! Bravo! Hooray for you! ......or did you want some sort of humiliating insults thrown at you? Kilgore's small penis....:rofl:
> 
> Better now?


Your compassion for this guy is overwhelming. Would you do the same if he said he was born without any arms?


----------



## Sandfly

Faithful Wife said:


> Because so many people do porn of various types now and so many people watch, that it will just be so common that someone did some at one time that eventually we'll all stop shaming each other for that kind of crap.


I don't know why you are obsessed with the word 'shame'.

Is TAM full of ex-catholic girls?


----------



## Fordsvt

No I could not. Too much baggage!!! Ask Tito Ortiz!!!

I'm also porn free for six months too. It almost ruined my marriage. No more of that for this guy


----------



## thummper

Good heavens, no! I'm sure *they* would be monumentally disappointed!


----------



## Caribbean Man

jaharthur said:


> Really? And here I thought that the San Francisco Bay area, where I am, was a trendsetter. That's certainly not the case here.


Just a side question,
Doesn't San francisco have the largest LBGT and Poly populations in the US?


----------



## lfortender

I only would date a pornstar if we agreed to have a open poligamic relationship!


----------



## ConanHub

xakulax said:


> Another story of post-porn fallout to add
> 
> Stacie Halas, Former Haydock Intermediate School Teacher Fired For Porn Star Past, Fighting To Get Her Job Back


I feel truly sorry for her. There will always be repercussions for our past in one way or another.


----------



## ConanHub

As long as she was up front about her past and her view of sexuality had done a 180, I could. If we became serious, we would have to do some serious identity changing, possibly including relocating.

I would not want to have to pull up stakes and change our identities after we had kids because one of our acquaintances or one of our Childrens schoolmates identified her in a video.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

I haven't been following this thread... but early on...there were posts / judgments that if one enjoys a little porn that they are a hypocrite ...if they would not be open to wanting to date or marry a former porn star... 

Can I reason this a bit...

Now obviously something within a vast majority of us, let's say even human nature...is greatly attracted to looking at the act of Sex...should we feel dirty about it.. that we enjoy it...... a fit healthy body is highly erotic ... should I apologize for being honest? 

I was against watching porn for 19 yrs of my marriage...though I still loved a HOT rated R scene that left so much to your imagination.. when I was younger I used to complain that all those scenes were Unmarried people , I would bi*ch about it even!! ..... I wanted to see EROTIC scenes with Romance between 2 married lovers...this is almost unheard of.. 

Can People change their sexual views.. Yes they can...and many porn stars have ... Do I think it would be an easy road... No, I don't ...someone said in one of these posts...it probably takes YEARS to undo the emotional separation they have become accustomed to ...it was a lifestyle...to fully embrace a loving mutually bonding Romantic relationship as it was intended... I agree with this. 

If they HAVE worked through this, however.. in my adult life, Maybe I would be open to it....who is to say..there would be a whole host of other compatibility issues to wade through..have they changed in all of those too? 

My husband... I know... would not.



Caribbean Man said:


> *Hence it is extremely difficult for a person who places high emotional value on sex to bond emotionally with a person who compartmentalize sex*.


I find sharing our bodies -when the man enters as the most beautiful and breathtaking act God has given us... .I see it as making a couple "one"...so yeah.. I agree with this statement.. I could only be with the types who feel as I...or it would be a monumental mismatch ...because my emotions & expectations in Love are tied almost spiritually to this act...

...I want my sex to be Romantic, DEEP, soul enriching, getting lost in each other with Forever written on our hearts and basking in the afterglow each & every time.. 

Now that would be way Freaking over the top for a porn star...they'd want to run like mad from me !!


----------



## jaharthur

Caribbean Man said:


> Just a side question,
> Doesn't San francisco have the largest LBGT and Poly populations in the US?


Yes, but still a minority. And we're aren't talking about sexual preference, but whether so many people have been in porn that people no longer look askance at a porn star.

We haven't reached that point here, and if this area hasn't reached it, I have trouble thinking that, say, Tulsa Oklahoma is there.


----------



## SpinDaddy

xakulax said:


> Is possible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who used to be in the adult entertainment industry either nude modeling, stripping, or porn could you date or marry someone with that in there past.


Date one – hell, I married one. Well that’s my story at least and I’m sticking with it.

More seriously, I believe there’s a lot of unfortunate collateral effect on the people engaged in these professions (e.g., drugs, sex and rock and roll) and I believe that would hamper any kind of a meaningful relationship for me.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Caribbean Man said:


> Just a side question,
> Doesn't San francisco have the largest LBGT and Poly populations in the US?


I don't know, Atlanta might be pretty close. These days just being straight and having a job goes a long way in Atlanta as far as a man's dating potential is concerned


----------



## xakulax

Caribbean Man said:


> Just a side question,
> Doesn't San francisco have the largest LBGT and Poly populations in the US?


According to Wikipedia California at 4.0% and Texas 3.6% are highest in the U.S.


----------



## Machiavelli

Caribbean Man said:


> Lol,
> 
> Pron has ALWAYS been around.


Absolutely.



Caribbean Man said:


> The streets of the city of Pompeii every other building was a brothel.


That's what I was taught 100 years ago, as well. But, somebody did the math and they realized 99% of these were ordinary houses, lacking the built in cribs characteristic of the brothel. Imagine XXX threesome scenes permanently frescoed on the wall of your formal dining room.



Caribbean Man said:


> Live sex shows were very common and every single type of kink.
> Child prostitution was rampant.
> 
> Society today cannot compete with the attitudes towards sex of ancient civilizations.


Totally correct.


----------



## Caribbean Man

Machiavelli said:


> That's what I was taught 100 years ago, as well. *But, somebody did the math and they realized 99% of these were ordinary houses, lacking the built in cribs characteristic of the brothel. Imagine XXX threesome scenes permanently frescoed on the wall of your formal dining room.*
> 
> .


Yes!

I remember seeing that in a documentary.

Las Vegas or Amsterdam can't even begin to compare with Pompeii.
It was a filthy rich society

Back then everything it was only live performances , no internet or DVD, or magazine required.

The colleusseum in Rome wasn't only used for gladiators, but live sex shows as well.

And spectators were allowed to join in the fun.

I should also mention the ancient Egyptians and their 
" _Turin Erotic papyrus _." When it was first discovered, it was kept secret because the authorities thought it as way too explicit.

But even back then, it was a minority of the population that practiced that type of lifestyle.


----------



## ConanHub

And now..... they are gone....


----------



## JCD

Caribbean Man said:


> Yes!
> 
> I remember seeing that in a documentary.
> 
> Las Vegas or Amsterdam can't even begin to compare with Pompeii.
> It was a filthy rich society
> 
> Back then everything it was only live performances , no internet or DVD, or magazine required.
> 
> The colleusseum wasn't only used for gladiators, but live sex shows as well.
> 
> And spectators were allowed to join in the fun.
> 
> 
> But even back then, it was a minority of the population that practiced that type of lifestyle.


So I visited Las Vegas for the first time a couple years ago. The streets were literally PAPERED with these little business cards of escorts. Hundreds of people just stand around passing out these cards to thousands of people...and they throw them away.

Now, imagine that they all died in one day and were buried in rubble. What conclusions would archeologists make about us? Or Macao? Or Bangkok?

I think there were more prostitutes because of a lack of job opportunities for women. But I would be VERY leery of taking the Roman 'Vegas' as a statement about the wider culture. 

As far as the kids go...how many people bring a baby on vacation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man

JCD said:


> So I visited Las Vegas for the first time a couple years ago. The streets were literally PAPERED with these little business cards of escorts. Hundreds of people just stand around passing out these cards to thousands of people...and they throw them away.
> 
> Now, imagine that they all died in one day and were buried in rubble. What conclusions would archeologists make about us? Or Macao? Or Bangkok?
> 
> *I think there were more prostitutes because of a lack of job opportunities for women. But I would be VERY leery of taking the Roman 'Vegas' as a statement about the wider culture. *
> 
> As far as the kids go...how many people bring a baby on vacation?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Agreed.

I guess we are both on the same page.


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## inman

I couldn't date one.


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## soulseer

I think that although I like the fantasy of being with a porn star I think that I wouldnt be able to see them as committed partners in a deep meaningful longterm relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dayhiker

I'm sure some men are fine with that, but for me the answer is no.

I might play with one or just be friends with one, but committed would be out of the question.


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## Entropy3000

Trickster said:


> While I was in the Navy, My gf became a stripper... i didn't know until, my ship came into port and we all went to a strip club and there she was dancing on stage... it was such an ego bust when I went home with her...i had the biggest grin...those were the days...
> 
> I have no idea how I ended up with a LD virgin woman...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Navy days ... so my roommate / squadron buddy fell for a French Hooker. Our duty in port was Shore Patrol and we had the hooker bars. So we got to know the hookers fairly well. My call sign was Hooker BTW. 

It was a blast hanging out in port and even spending some time in the hooker bars was a lifes lesson. At that time I enjoyed the strip clubs as well. BUT, I got to know these women just enough to see this is a horrible life style. To this day, I do not enjoy strip clubs. Dead eyes some say. Maybe not the noobs, but they get there. Mainly I feel sorry for them. Yeah, their choice. But I see single moms and women with a drug problems. Damaged goods? Sure. Whatever. Them working in the sex industry is a symptom of the damage but it re-enforces it.

It was actually easy for me to see these hookers as real people and not just objects for sale. A few I grew somewhat fond of. This is what really turned me off to the whole thing. But my buddy actually fell for one. Totally F'd up for sure.

She came to the US for a month. I moved out during that time. She had to have sex constantly. It was creepy because she got upset with him because his shipmates would not go with her. Anyway, he finally realized this was messed up. French Hooker -- check. Go Navy.

-------

Me? Yes. Once. Last day in port. Had lost my GF during that cruise. I was 20. This one French Hooker had been after me all the while during the cruise. My last night in Barcelona.  I love Barcelona. 

We had actually had conversations when the money got slow. I had intended to never have sex with a hooker ... but I was getting ready to go back home and I was quite broken up that I was not going home to my GF.

Yes, I had grown fond of her none-the-less. We connected on a personal level. We had talked about my GF on and off over time in several ports. But this one night in port I was very very down. Finally she said lets go Jim ( cute French accent btw ). I laughed. I said no to her for the hundredth time. But she knew where my buttons were by this time. She called me by my first name again ... Jim ... in a rather sexy French girl way and grabbed my hand and said in a decided way ... we go Jim. Just for fun. You and moi. Just because this is your last night ... she like some other women before her knew to just grab my hand and lead me off.  I was just a puppy then.

"VF41 Black Aces -- First to Fight, First to Strike"


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## JCD

Entropy3000 said:


> Navy days ... so my roommate / squadron buddy fell for a French Hooker. Our duty in port was Shore Patrol and we had the hooker bars. So we got to know the hookers fairly well. My call sign was Hooker BTW.
> 
> It was a blast hanging out in port and even spending some time in the hooker bars was a lifes lesson. At that time I enjoyed the strip clubs as well. BUT, I got to know these women just enough to see this is a horrible life style. To this day, I do not enjoy strip clubs. Dead eyes some say. Maybe not the noobs, but they get there. Mainly I feel sorry for them. Yeah, their choice. But I see single moms and women with a drug problems. Damaged goods? Sure. Whatever. Them working in the sex industry is a symptom of the damage but it re-enforces it.


I was in the military on deployment. The street outside of the foreign base was a line of bars and tailor shops.

So, this one bar had...um...girls working there. Three of them had been around the block a time or two. You could see it in their eyes and demeanor. They knew what buttons to push and it was as offhanded as reading a newspaper.

But this one girl was very young. New. Barely legal. I spoke to one of the girls and she said they were working hard to keep her out of the industry. This woman looked sad when she looked at this fresh faced 18 year old.

Once in a while, you see behind the curtain of their lives. People say that cheaters and 'bad people' don't get it or are so broken that they don't even understand what they lost.

Maybe some. Not all. So would I take a chance on someone who is trying hard to redeem herself? That is a tough one but as stated, I'd consider it. But I wouldn't 'rescue' a person from that. They had to have started to pull themselves up by their bootstraps already.

Because they are fvcked up people just like the rest of us.


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## Refuse to be played

It would be hypocritical of me to say I wouldn't date a woman with a high partner count. Lots of sex for fun or lots of sex for money, doesn't really make a difference to me. I wouldn't date an ACTIVE porn star but I wouldn't mind dating a retired one if I were single.


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## Machiavelli

Entropy3000 said:


> She came to the US for a month. I moved out during that time. *She had to have sex constantly.* It was creepy because she got upset with him because his shipmates would not go with her. Anyway, he finally realized this was messed up. French Hooker -- check. Go Navy.


You're not supposed to notice that.


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## Entropy3000

JCD said:


> I was in the military on deployment. The street outside of the foreign base was a line of bars and tailor shops.
> 
> So, this one bar had...um...girls working there. Three of them had been around the block a time or two. You could see it in their eyes and demeanor. They knew what buttons to push and it was as offhanded as reading a newspaper.
> 
> But this one girl was very young. New. Barely legal. I spoke to one of the girls and she said they were working hard to keep her out of the industry. This woman looked sad when she looked at this fresh faced 18 year old.
> 
> Once in a while, you see behind the curtain of their lives. People say that cheaters and 'bad people' don't get it or are so broken that they don't even understand what they lost.
> 
> Maybe some. Not all. So would I take a chance on someone who is trying hard to redeem herself? That is a tough one but as stated, I'd consider it. But I wouldn't 'rescue' a person from that. They had to have started to pull themselves up by their bootstraps already.
> 
> Because they are fvcked up people just like the rest of us.


While not religious these days the following hits home with me :
_
But for the grace of God there go I ..._

I want to believe that good people make good decisions most of the time. But I also wonder just how close any of us have been to life changing choices or circumstances that we were just flat lucky.

So yeah this is what I am saying. I am a compassionate person. I have empathy. I can connect with people across the spectrum of life. It is a shades of grey world. We all bring something to the table. Some more than others. Some folks pull others down. While you can care for them and even love them, they may be toxic to you. We have to make choices.

I feel sorry for those that went down a certain path. I can have empathy for them. I do not hate them by any means. But I cannot fix them and hanging ith them is likely going to cause me pain. I should invest my time elsewhere.



> The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl" (you're a fine girl)
> "What a good wife you would be" (such a fine girl)
> "Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea"


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## Broken at 20

Date? 

Hell yea! Sounds awesome. 

Assuming she passes STD test. 

Female porn stars make good money. (hoping she retires though...I don't think I could date an active porn star) And hopefully, she is super hot (and probably 50% silicon)

And she could show me all kinds of stuff! And teach me things. It would be awesome! 
And she is probably some kind nympho. So my 21 year old hormones that have been bottled up for so long could finally be released! 

But serious dating? No, probably not.


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## U.E. McGill

I seem to remember a HBO documentary (?) where they were following around a couple of porn stars. One scene in particular was a female star getting asked out, by a "civilian". Cut away to a later scene and she was crying because the date went wrong. All he wanted was sex, when it became obvious that she wanted a real date he just walked away.


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