# Not giving up



## GodlyMan (Apr 26, 2012)

First i a very sad for everyone here that is going through these difficult and painful times.

I have been married for 9 years. We have boy that just turned 3 and we have been seperated for 18 months next week. We lost our house as i could no longer afford it on my own. My wife lives with her parents and i have been blessed with an apartment 5 minutes away from both work and our son.

No infidelity, porn, alcohol, drugs, etc. She just says i am not kind and caring enough to her at times. I use to have a critical spirit but i have been in so many classes, therapy, etc and have corrected that. 
I am 43 and she is 42. She has a son whom i have raised since he was 5 and is now 14. About 4 months ago, she called me wanting to reconcile, but said she didnt like me right now. Wanted to be obedient to God, tired of living with regrets, tired of living with her parents. But she didnt know what to do. 
I suggested a weekend to remember retreat which i was going to attend regardless. But once reading about it, she said she wasnt ready for that.
All this took place while her parents were out of town. Her mother is very controlling. Once they came back, she became distant. I asked her about it and she said, its not you, its me.

Just after the new year, she filed for divorce. I told her i did not want that, but i was not going to fight her about it. I just want you to be happy.

Well the court date was on the 16th, and she didnt show up, which she has to and with a witness. Her lawyer was pretty ticked and told the judge she botched up her calendar.

The judge said, "Counsel, i would think this is a pretty important date that someone would botch up their calendar, if they really wanted to be here, they would." He was pretty mean to me after that saying "Did you really think you had a speaking role here?"
I replied, i wasnt sure, but i would think the judge would be gracious enough to let me say something since i was here. He didnt say anything.

So he rescheduled for the 30th, this Monday.

I really do not want this to happen. I believe this can be fixed. She has said repeatedly going through her journals, we did not have a bad marriage. I hurt so much for our son. My stepson as well.
When she expressed reconciliation, my stepson said he wanted me to be his dad again and wanted us to be a family. He started lashing out after that, and my mother in law suggested he be sent away. he is now in a military school 4 hours away.

I think i have done everything i can possibly do. While away on a mission trip, i wrote her a 13 page apology letter for every way i hurt her that i could possibly think of., She opened up briefly after that. I even asked her out on a date with our son. She said yes that would be great, then backed out at the last minute.

I want to be obedient to God and do the right thing and be a model for our son.  I really am at a loss now, just praying and fasting.

Any input or encouragement would be appreciated.

Blessings.


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## reggis (Apr 11, 2012)

She seems rather conflicted.


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

I have started praying again since my ordeal started. I will pray for you and your family.

Really sounds like it is your wifes issue at this point. Affraid you are just along for the ride like me. My kids are only 3 and 5. I feel the worst for the children, yours and mine.

God bless you and keep you. Amen


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## GodlyMan (Apr 26, 2012)

Thanks for your prayers. I will lift your family up as well. Struggling a little this weekend, I have my son and trying very hard to be joyful and bless him. Anxiety because of court Monday probably. I'm just going to be supportive and say something kind and loving if I get to talk. 

This can be fixed, but she just gives up too easily. She gave up on her son and sent him to a military school. I miss him so much. I really wish there was something I could do. 

Blessings


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