# Shared page, nothing individual?



## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

If you have a Myspace account or FB account, or any other social networking site, do you have your own page or do you share one with your spouse?

If you do not have separate ones and you have one together, what is your reason behind it? 

I'm friends with a married couple I went to school with. Any social networking sites they belong to, they both have one page they share between them. They don't have their own individual anything. I asked my friend out of curiosity why, she replied with there was no reason to have individual anything. To each their own, I'm not knocking it, but was just wondering why if you had a joint one with your spouse.


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

for accountability...

there was a whole radio program devoted to the topic of how those social network sites have been a big problem to relationships, and then, the whole issue of..if you have seperate ones, should you have each others password, etc. I think for some couples they would just rather avoid that and so they share a page


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

H and I have separate FB accounts. He hasn't checked his in over year, though 

I use mine to keep up with friends who have moved out of state/town. It's nice to be able to communicate with them easily and share photos of our kids.

Accountability has just never been an issue for us, we've never seen the need for separate accounts.


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## nicole2009 (Apr 26, 2011)

H and I have separate accounts. We play games on Facebook together so we know each others passwords. He gives me his password to everything. We have nothing to hide but I do like having my own account.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

A co worker of mine ran around on his wife a few years back. They both agreed they wanted to work things out. One of the things they did and the counselor pushed this as well, was for his wife's own peace of mind and to show that he was sincere in working on things and had nothing to hide, they had joint accounts for FB and other things as well. They even had a joint email account. Basically they had joint everything, she had all passwords to everything etc. 

IMO, people should be able to be individuals. Not all things really need to be joint.However, if something like an affair has occurred I can see why that accountability needs to be in tact. if the spouse that cheated wants to work on things and truly isn't in an affair anymore then if he asked to do this, they shouldn't have an issue with it.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

Social networking sites can be poisonous to relationships. One way to avoid the pitfalls is to have a single account that is shared.


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## unknownuser (May 11, 2011)

I have a family friend who shares a FB account for religious reasons. Their Church recognized that social networking was causing unnecessary strains on relationships and counseled everyone to not put themselves in toxic/risky situations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My dog has one. I do not.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Everything between my husband and me is transparent, it provides trust and security. 

He can access to all of my internet accounts, email, face book, TAM, anything you name. He knows the password and he can pretend to be me at any time. 

I can access to all of his accounts if I want to. I know his password. 

It reminds us that we can't do anything secretly. It helps us in self-control area. 

We don't check on each other. I seldom use his email account or access to anything of his, he seldom checks on me. 

Our finance is joined together, too. 

I think trust and security are very important to a marriage, if everything is transparent, it provides the utmost trust and security. Intimacy builds up this way!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Everything between my husband and me is transparent, it provides trust and security.
> 
> He can access to all of my internet accounts, email, face book, TAM, anything you name. He knows the password and he can pretend to be me at any time.
> 
> ...


Green pearl, I think that's a good way to be.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Syrum said:


> Green pearl, I think that's a good way to be.


We believe after we get married, there is no "his" or " hers", there is "ours". 

A lot of people may disagree, but we don't feel that we need that privacy. I think a couple shouldn't build up walls between each other, they should tear down the walls between them. 

When there are no walls, bodies connect!


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I rarely go on it but I have my own page. You couldn't get my husband on FB unless you paid him to do it. He hates FB.

I'm all about trust, openness and all that but I also like some things to be private. So if I'm chatting with my girlfriends on FB I'm not sure I really want him to see all that. No I'm not saying anything bad about him it's just big brotherish to me. I don't want to be "monitored".

We've also been married almost 20 years and have no trust issues.


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## steph78 (Jun 2, 2011)

H and I have seperate accounts and I HATE it. Yes there are trust issues because I have dealt with him and other women having inapproriate conversations, text, pics, ect. I am a firm believer in where there's a will, there's a way and that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. 
I am slowly becoming a person who hate's technology in general because of the problems my marriage has suffered due to it, but i understand it's not the iphone, fb, or computer, it's the person behind it. 
I vote for share!


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I am forever frustrating my husband by accidentally making my dorky comments while he is still signed on. We have different accounts but the same computers. We spend most of our time responding to each other or our common friends.


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## Edge (Mar 30, 2011)

I have facebook and my wife does not. She hates it. However I she knows my pass and can log into it whenever she wants (not that she ever wants to). Facebook (and all online social networking) is dangerous to relationships. It is far better to be open about it. If you have nothing to hide there should be no problem sharing it.


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## borninapril (Jun 6, 2011)

It all about what works for you. My wife and I have separate accounts but can log on to one another any time. One of my best friends growing up has an account that he shares with his wife. That works for them but I hate not knowing who exactly is reading and responding to my messages sometimes. For example, earlier this year I feel into a deep depression and withdrew from just about everyone. After I finally got help I really wanted to apooigize to some of the people that I had withdrawn from. He had changed phone numbers so I wrote him on FB and got a nice reply. Several weeks later I ran into him at our kids field day, his daughter and mine go to the same school, and I started talking to him and he knew nothing about my message or what I had been going through. It kind of upset me that she hadn't told him about the message and had responded on her own in his place. If your going to share at least let people know about that.


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## mollymai17 (Oct 11, 2010)

steph78 said:


> H and I have seperate accounts and I HATE it. Yes there are trust issues because I have dealt with him and other women having inapproriate conversations, text, pics, ect. I am a firm believer in where there's a will, there's a way and that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
> I am slowly becoming a person who hate's technology in general because of the problems my marriage has suffered due to it, but i understand it's not the iphone, fb, or computer, it's the person behind it.
> I vote for share!


My H and I had the same issue. He was sneaking on facebook for at least 2yrs, and had been posting to women pics and chatting and th whole nine yards. We went to a counselor after we had the biggest fight over it and almost seperated (stupid to me) and she said that he should reopen his fb account and add me as a friend :scratchhead: I totally disagreed. Athough I am on there as his wife and his friend I still have trust issues,because he still chats and everything and he don't hide anymore, but I have lost a lot of trust because of his actions on the computer and crossing bounderies. He shows me some of his post and pictures and tell me who they are. but some trust has been lost


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## CoffeeTime (Jul 3, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Everything between my husband and me is transparent, it provides trust and security.
> 
> He can access to all of my internet accounts, email, face book, TAM, anything you name. He knows the password and he can pretend to be me at any time.
> 
> ...




I love this, we do the same thing. It was never a forced issue or demand either, we just felt very comfortable doing it. Shared accounts are not for us since we both enjoy our individuality.


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## idunno (Jul 7, 2011)

My husband and I have separate accounts. We both have an FB and Myspace account but I hardly ever go on those. A shared account wouldn't work for us because he friends way more people than I care to communicate with and there would be way too much junk to sort through. I don't even post on FB while he lives through it. We've had several conversations before about how I have to check his FB status just to see what's going in his head. He'll post on his wall that he's feeling sad or stressed or whatever but would never talk to me about it. And he'd leave these sweet declarations of love for me on his wall for all to see but I wouldn't see it for weeks because I don't go on FB at all. Sometimes I wonder if he's putting up a front or posts those things because he feels guilty (I just posted about his lying and cybering with other women in another thread). He says I know the passwords to all of his accounts but the passwords he normally uses don't work for FB or his email. And he also uses a lot of other online things that I don't know the username or password for, like Twitter (I think he got rid of that one), AIM, YIM, MSN, etc. He doesn't know my passwords by heart but he knows where he can access them. Plus, I leave everything logged in on my computer and ipod while he usually logs out on his electronics.


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