# Beauty and Sex



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I posted the same in the men's lounge, but thought it would be interesting to ask ladies as well

For casual sex (assuming that is something you might do in the right conditions), would you prefer a stunningly attractive partner who was average in bed, or a stunningly good lover who was just average in appearance. 

Here by "average" I mean someone who is on no way off-putting, or bad, but who wouldn't stand out at all in a crowd.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I'm not into casual sex, have never had it, but if I did, I would choose the second choice. I would much rather be with a man who was a great lover than a "hot" guy who had no clue what he was doing.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
thanks for the response

just to be clear, by "average" lover, I don't mean someone clueless, just a typical person between the sheets - nothing special, but not actively bad in any way. 

As an aside, I've had very few partners myself. Its possible that there aren't a lot of "average" lovers. Maybe there is a big split between good and bad lovers. 




Anonymous07 said:


> I'm not into casual sex, have never had it, but if I did, I would choose the second choice. I would much rather be with a man who was a great lover than a "hot" guy who had no clue what he was doing.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> good evening
> thanks for the response
> 
> just to be clear, by "average" lover, I don't mean someone clueless, just a typical person between the sheets - nothing special, but not actively bad in any way.
> ...


My choice would still be the same. I have never put a whole lot of stake in physical looks, as I would prefer a man of character, intelligence, kindness, etc. A great lover would be > a hot looking guy.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

I suppose that depends upon your definition of "casual". If you're talking about someone you know, but don't want to be in a relationship or if you're talking about a person you don't know and you meet just the one time. Either way, I would prefer the above-average experience over the above-average appearance, but, in a once-only situation, how would you know anyway?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Really hot doesn't mean squat if he can't make my lady parts sing!


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

For a casual lover I would say hot guy but average in bed. Because more than likely the reason I would be wanting to sleep with him is for his looks.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good point, its not clear how you would know beforehand. (is there an online review site....:smile2

Its interesting that both men and women seem to not view appearance as extremely important. 

People spend a lot of effort trying to be more physically attractive. I wonder how much effort they put into trying to be excellent lovers?




calmwinds said:


> I suppose that depends upon your definition of "casual". If you're talking about someone you know, but don't want to be in a relationship or if you're talking about a person you don't know and you meet just the one time. Either way, I would prefer the above-average experience over the above-average appearance, but, in a once-only situation, how would you know anyway?


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I posted the same in the men's lounge, but thought it would be interesting to ask ladies as well
> 
> For casual sex (assuming that is something you might do in the right conditions), would you prefer a stunningly attractive partner who was average in bed, or a stunningly good lover who was just average in appearance.
> ...


I'd prefer the better lover, no doubt!


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

I think you are getting these answers because you are asking women who've lived a little and know what they want. If you asked this question to college aged women I think most assuredly they would say a hot guy. I think for a lot of young women sex is mostly about validation when it comes to anyone casual. I think they want prove to themselves that they can get the hottest guy or "perceived" high value man. I think older women understand that that has little to do with how well a man can make her toes curl. Not to make blanket statements though. I think a lot of women who have a mid life crisis or "rebirth" are also just trying to prove they are still sexy by sleeping with very attractive men.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow...what a weird response, FK.

Welcome back, btw.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I posted the same in the men's lounge, but thought it would be interesting to ask ladies as well
> 
> For casual sex (assuming that is something you might do in the right conditions), would you prefer a stunningly attractive partner who was average in bed, or a stunningly good lover who was just average in appearance.
> ...


I think the only way to actually make this choice is in the past. If a woman had one each of these two types of sexual encounters, then she could say which was was preferable. Trying to decide this upfront with the limited parameters of your question makes it impossible to answer, for me anyway.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Wow...what a weird response, FK.
> 
> Welcome back, btw.


Why do you say that? Thanks though.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I think you are getting these answers because you are asking women who've lived a little and know what they want. *If you asked this question to college aged women I think most assuredly they would say a hot guy.* *I think for a lot of young women sex is mostly about validation when it comes to anyone casual.* *I think they want prove to themselves that they can get the hottest guy or "perceived" high value man.* I think older women understand that that has little to do with how well a man can make her toes curl. Not to make blanket statements though. *I think a lot of women who have a mid life crisis or "rebirth" are also just trying to prove they are still sexy by sleeping with very attractive men*.


Why do I say that?

Well...because, why would a woman need to be either young and needing validation, or old and needing validation, to have the preference of the hot guy over the average more skilled guy?

I agree some people want to be with hot people for validation, both men and women. But some don't need validation, they simply have a preference for more visual turn on than other ways of being turned on.

Just thought it was weird that you would try to qualify a woman as having this preference as also needing validation.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Why do I say that?
> 
> Well...because, why would a woman need to be either young and needing validation, or old and needing validation, to have the preference of the hot guy over the average more skilled guy?
> 
> ...


Why would you do that to me? You have this interesting point but I have to ask you to share it?! That's like making a delicious treat but hiding it when the company comes over:nono:

I'm thinking more in the line of some women wanting to have sex with a boss, a famous guy, the star athlete and things like that. And i'm saying hot guy as the same in the sense of it being a status symbol. And sometimes the sex is really bad but they don't care. 

But I wasn't trying to discount that women just want to have sex with attractive men. I can see your point with how that came across.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> Why would you do that to me? You have this interesting point but I have to ask you to share it?! That's like making a delicious treat but hiding it when the company comes over:nono:


0

I really didn't mean to...but I see how it looks like that. Sorry!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I'm thinking more in the line of some women wanting to have sex with a boss, a famous guy, the star athlete and things like that. And i'm saying hot guy as the same in the sense of it being a status symbol. And sometimes the sex is really bad but they don't care.


Sort of like some men wanting to have sex with their secretary or hot boss, the famous actress, the head cheerleader, and things like that? And sometimes the sex is really bad but they don't care? I don't see any gender difference here. The status part may seem like a difference, but men have other types of status that turns them on. Both men and women can be particularly preferential toward hot looks, though, with or without it being tied to their need for validation.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Sort of like some men wanting to have sex with their secretary or hot boss, the famous actress, the head cheerleader, and things like that? And sometimes the sex is really bad but they don't care? I don't see any gender difference here. The status part may seem like a difference, but men have other types of status that turns them on. Both men and women can be particularly preferential toward hot looks, though, with or without it being tied to their need for validation.


I honestly think it's more about looks though with men. All of those things are assuming that those are attractive women. Famous actresses that men find attractive they would still find attractive of those women weren't famous. I don't think it's that simple with women a lot of times. Can you give examples of men wanting women that has nothing to do with looks? Discounting emotional connection? I think a lot of women would brag about sleeping with Meatloaf or even old ass Stevie Tyler. Do you think men would be fist bumping if they hooked up wth Rosie O'Donnell?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> Do you think men would be fist bumping if they hooked up wth Rosie O'Donnell?


Sure, I know many who would be fist bumping about having sex with someone who resembled her. Especially if they themselves look like say, Tom Arnold (when heavier) or John Goodman. Lots of big men appreciate big women, very much. 

About Rosie specifically, there are star f*ckers for every star.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

I still believe social value on the average means more to a woman than man.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I still believe social value on the average means more to a woman than man.


Could be true but I think any difference is slight. Gilbert Godbey says he doesn't believe them anymore when women say they love a funny man. A non famous non rich no status but very hot man will get picked over Gilbert a large percentage of the time. Of course he has his star f*ckers too.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Could be true but I think any difference is slight. Gilbert Godbey says he doesn't believe them anymore when women say they love a funny man. A non famous non rich no status but very hot man will get picked over Gilbert a large percentage of the time. Of course he has his star f*ckers too.


I don't think men and women are always attracted to the same things and don't always have the same motivations when they do things. I could easily make a post about things i've observed predominantly in men. I believe that social status can be a deciding factor if a woman is willing to sleep with a man. I do not think on average it matters to men in to the same degree. If you agreed with this it would not be in someway admitting men are better than women.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

FalconKing said:


> I don't think men and women are always attracted to the same things and don't always have the same motivations when they do things. I could easily make a post about things i've observed predominantly in men. I believe that social status can be a deciding factor if a woman is willing to sleep with a man. I do not think on average it matters to men in to the same degree. If you agreed with this it would not be in someway admitting men are better than women.


Oh hon, there's no "better" between the genders. I did not ever think you meant there was, and I have never felt there is. Don't misunderstand me, please, it has nothing to do with that.

The question here was about casual sex between an average better lover or a hot hunk....it is going to always depend on WHY a woman is having casual sex at that time and on WHO that woman is for her to decide which of these would be more appealing to her. You said you felt that women wanting the hot dude would be most likely needing validation, and I simply said I don't think there's any reason to assume that would be the case any more often than it would be for a man. You are the one who brought status into this, which really wasn't part of the question at all.

There is a thread in mens with the same title. Most of the guys are saying they would take the better lover over the hot chick, which is what I would have expected. Though some would not choose that way, I don't think anyone has answered otherwise, thus far.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> The question here was about casual sex between an average better lover or a hot hunk...*.it is going to always depend on WHY a woman is having casual sex at that time and on WHO that woman is for her to decide which of these would be more appealing to her.* You said you felt that women wanting the hot dude would be most likely needing validation, and I simply said I don't think there's any reason to assume that would be the case any more often than it would be for a man. You are the one who brought status into this, which really wasn't part of the question at all.


I brought status into it simply because I was saying a hot guy is a variation of that. I still stand by it that most young girls having casual sex are doing it for validation that they are sexy and that validation comes from having men perceived as having some type of status. And I said older women going through a MLC could engage in the same behavior. Maybe because they want to feel like they're 20 again. I'm using words like "some", "can", "i think". I'm not speaking for all women and i'm speaking this based on observation and general life experience. I am just going to say we respectfully disagree because this seems to be about semantics now.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

peacem said:


> And sex appeal is not necessarily about physical good looks. .


I wholeheartedly concur! A great Sense of humor is an aphrodisiac to me. Make me laugh, watch my panties drop.

To answer the OP, give me average looking, and stellar in bed.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FalconKing said:


> I brought status into it simply because I was saying a hot guy is a variation of that. I still stand by it that most young girls having casual sex are doing it for validation that they are sexy and that validation comes from having men perceived as having some type of status. And I said older women going through a MLC could engage in the same behavior. Maybe because they want to feel like their 20 again. I'm using words like "some", "can", "i think". I'm not speaking for all women and i'm speaking this based on observation and general life experience. I am just going to say we respectfully disagree because this seems to be about semantics now.


I don't have a problem with what you are saying.. IF I was into Casual sex.. I would go for the HOT HOT HOTtie.. why not.. the best looking is what turns our heads isn't it?...compare that with doing it with a nerd... come on now.. there is some validation, if not to ourselves.. what our friends think. 

Why not choose the hottest if it's FLING anyway...so long as he didn't have a disease, you'd entertain trying him out...

Though I don't like the idea of casual sex..I'd long for a genuine "give & take" emotional relationship, all strings attached.... I want to be SPECIAL in a man's eyes...this in itself would enhance the intimacy, the thrill, the orgasm.... or it is worthless to me.. it would leave me feeling "hollow" inside...longing for more -if he was so Good, so HOT.... why set yourself up for that sort of disappointment.. that's how I see it.. 

I have never put any stock in really HOT guys.. I assume they have bed more women than one could count.. I don't see snagging one of those realistic - for something long lasting.. though it would be great to be proven wrong!...


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

SA, 

When I got a notification that you responded to this thread I was actually on your profile seeing if you were still active here!


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## Julius Beastcavern (May 11, 2015)

lucy999 said:


> I wholeheartedly concur! A great Sense of humor is an aphrodisiac to me. Make me laugh, watch my panties drop.
> 
> To answer the OP, give me average looking, and stellar in bed.


Knock, knock.......>


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FalconKing said:


> SA,
> 
> When I got a notification that you responded to this thread I was actually on your profile seeing if you were still active here!


That's kinda cool.. probably half crazy to still be posting here.. after all this time... been a bit of a rough year ...(not with me & H, things are wonderful) but relationship crap with our sons.. all normal "rights of passage" I suppose... break ups, betrayal.....watching son struggling to get his footing again... feeling his devastation.. pain.. regret.. anger. 

[email protected]#$


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