# Preparing for separation... :(



## IsThisReal (Jun 6, 2011)

I am new to the site and new to the idea of separation.  
I wish I wasn't here in the first place. 
My H and I have decided to separate for a 2 month (trial) period. I am taking our child to another state (to visit family) during this period. 
Though we both agree that a separation may be what we both need inorder to fully appreciate one another again, I am also very nervous that he will decide that he enjoys his "new" life without the worries of a W and child. 
At the end of the 2 month period, I am to return home to decide whether or not we can make it work.
I don't really have a question... I guess I am just looking for advice or suggestions or maybe just support? I am nervous and scared and don't have a support system where I currently live. My support system is in the state I am moving to for the 2 month period... I leave in 2 weeks.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

ITR,

If the marriage isn't working and you need the space, take it. I have been separated for two months now and that is because my wife decided to leave. I used the time to get my life together and she did not, so she is still sure she wants a D. I would make sure to lay out all of the ground rules for the separation. Amount and frequency of contact. Dating rules. Money. Etc. Make sure you have a plan in place and you both agree. You may find out that you don't want him back, but be prepared if he decides that he doesn't want to go back to the marriage even if you do. It will be painful, but hopefully you can make it through. My W and I had no plans or guidelines and it has been awful for me. Just protect yourself and your child. Right now that is all you can focus on.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

Oh, and lean on all of us. I have found this site as one of my best venting/support places around. And lean on your friends and family. They will be there for you even if he is not.


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