# seperated and wife thinking of divorce help please



## lostandconfusied (Mar 17, 2010)

im not living at home my wife asked me to leave we had a big fight about 8 days ago she was texting a guy in the middle of the night and i checked up on her it wouldnt have come to this but ive checked up on her before 2 times actually i know she wanted me to leave because i wasnt giving her the privace she needed but i felt betrayed im a very jealous person i know that is a big factor in our problems but im a very nice guy now im scared im going to lose my wife of 10 years and dont know what to do now she says she dont have feelings for me i asked her to give me a couple of months to get my problems under control and see where we stand we agreed to stay faithful in that period i know she still has love for me but i think she buried it under hate because my jealousy im not sure what to do how to kick this awful habit please help


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## Believe (Aug 27, 2009)

No More Jealousy Program
check this out. They also have a free email mini course.
I have to ask. Why was your wife texting someone during the night?


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Sir, you can't loose what you don't have. If she is secretly texting people, do you really have the relationship you want to have? Do you even have a relationship at all?

If she say she doesn't have feelings for you, then that is sort of game, set, match fella. I realize it hurts, but you can't make someone love you. However, with about 1/2 the energy your currently using on worrying about her, you can find someone else who will.

LIL


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## lostandconfusied (Mar 17, 2010)

i believe she was texting him because i was neglecting her and she needed someone to talk to mabye she text him at night cause she wasnt tired im not sure i dont want lose my wife i love her very much and there 2 childern involved can i save this marriage


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## lostandconfusied (Mar 17, 2010)

i understand this but when this happened i realized what i am losing i understand it does hurt and i dont want to move on to other life i want my family is it possible she told me she has no feelings for me just to make me fell bad about how i have benn neglecting her or is she really not there anymore


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## Believe (Aug 27, 2009)

I know exactly how you feel. In the beginning everyone told me to just move on and I will meet someone even better. But still to this day I do not want to move on. I want my family together and I want to share my life with my husband. 
I suggest reading "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman and 
"Getting back together. How To Reconcile With Your Partner - And Make It Last." by Bettie B. Youngs, Masa Goetz (Author), Suzy Farbman (Author)


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## lostandconfusied (Mar 17, 2010)

so we have decided to giv it a couple months she is so mad at me i think her anger is covering her feelings so im trying to give her some space i came out to my dads house about 3 and a half hours away so i could let her be i so badly want to call her and see how her day was,ect,ect but if i called her would i just be sabatozing myself or is it ok to call not sure if im being to needy or not


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

lostandconfused, you really chose your name well. First off, I admire your strong desire to work to save your marriage. That is truly admirable Sir. However, from my vantage point you seem a tad on the wishy washy or is that wishy wussy side.

To better understand what I mean, simply re-read your last post. Is it really that difficult to choose a single course and stay with it? I don't want to be cruel but, you sound like a teenage girl trying to work up the courage to ask your heart throb to a Saddie Hawkins dance. 

For God's sake man, she's your wife. If you want her, take her. Show her you're strong enough to deserve her. If you want to call her, call her. Don't fret, just do it, and take that approach with every other aspect of your life as long as your actions are of reasonable benefit to her, do them. That is not called sabotage. It's called being a man. It might just be what she's looking for.

LIL


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