# Why am I so wishy washy?



## SaraTall65 (Feb 25, 2011)

My husband and I started dating in highschool and got married 3 yrs ago. A month before we got married, I cheated on him. Realizing what a mistake it was, we got back together and got married. Three yrs later (about 6 months ago) I cheated on him again and confessed to him because he said if I were cheating on him, he would divorce me. After I told him, he wanted to work on our marriage. I didn't want to but agreed to it. (Now we've been together a total of ten yrs and have a 1 yr old child) I told him I wanted a divorce, then changed my mind. Then told him I wanted a divorce again. I gave him the reasons I am not happy with the marriage, but did not tell him i am cheating again with the same person from a few months ago. We decided that we could afford to divorce when the taxes came back and I've been eagerly awaiting this time. Well, I can file for divorce now, but dont feel as strong of an urge to do it as before. I am terribly afraid of being alone as I have never been before. He has lived with me since I was in highschool. (Yes, my mom allowed that). I thought I loved him, but if I can continue to cheat without remorse then maybe I don't. I think that the fact that I cheated on him 3 yrs ago shows that I was unhappy and our marriage began with problems that were ignored and our relationship continued to deteriorate. Do I keep changing my mind about the divorce because I'm afraid? Shouldn't I know for 100% certainty what I want?


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

You need to get PC or MC. Figure out what you want before you go through D. 

Which Marriages Are Worth Saving?


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## SaraTall65 (Feb 25, 2011)

whats pc or mc? marriage counseling?


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Personal counseling or marriage counseling, yes.

I can't begin to tell you how unhealthy your behavior has been, both with the cheating (for everyone involved) and in your repeated back and forth. I'm sure a lot of it does have to do with your fear of being alone, but it sounds like there are a lot of issues in your marriage that both of you have likely been ignoring for a long time which I bet is the root of your being susceptible to other men. Simply put, it has to stop. I firmly believe that you could save your marriage in marriage counseling if you would truly commit to giving it a long, committed effort. Honestly, you owe that to your husband, your child, AND yourself. You wouldn't regret it, even if it did end in divorce. I would never ever recommend to anyone (who isn't in an abusive relationship) to turn to divorce, but if you can't do the right thing here, then you owe it to your husband to allow him to be rid of you.


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