# Marriage Counseling Horror Stories Thread. Bad advice at $150 an hour. Please share



## Hurts (Dec 30, 2012)

Dear friends,

I don't know if y'all remember but I posted about two weeks ago. Wife had a physical and emotional affair after 83 days of marriage. Also revealed that she made out with a different guy a year and a half ago. Also revealed she has known and deep rooted issues of attention seeking and validation from other men. Very likely is a "Love Addict".

I am hoping the get a divorce/annulment within the month, but STBXW and her family is pressuring me not to "rush" anything and wanting and prescribed a bunch of counseling for both of us.

We just had a few MC sessions so far, and the counselor is totally thinking its a good idea for me to give her a second chance. We have no property, children, or debt together. Been married for around four months.

I feel like a half decent analogy is this: You have a POS beater car with 250,000 miles on it, literally falling apart. You take it to a shady and "hungry" mechanic. This car is pretty much total loss and not worth putting a dime in it. The mechanic, wanting to "help" you and encourage you to use his services, will suggest a lengthy, and very costly repairs. Sinking $10,000 worth of repairs and parts into a $500 beater.

So, I bet in a lot of cases, where marriage counselors see a hopeless and cut and clear situation, where intimidate divorce/separation is the best thing for both parties, they will tend to offer hope when there is none, diagnosis when there are none, and literally years upon years of very costly billable hour advice when they know the success rate is like %5 (just pulling numbers out of my a$$ here). 

Please note, this is not a bashing of one on one counseling or marriage counseling overall thread, but personal stories of bad experiences of marriage counseling that you had in the past or present.

Lets hear your sad, enraging, misguided, misinformed, mean, unintelligent, costly, hopeless stories with marriage counseling.

Thanks and really looking forward to read your input!


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Dude, stop the counselling. Waste of money if you intend to divorce. And your in laws have the agenda of R because being divorced for cheating after two months of marriage is only going to give their little princess a bad rep. And the counselor is loyal to no one but himself( reads money money money).


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Let me guess, it were your in-laws/wife who arranged that particular MC too?


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## Hurts (Dec 30, 2012)

You guys, thanks for your concern,

I am pretty much dead set on divorce or annulment. Her parents are paying for %100 percent of all counseling. Doesn't cost me a dime. I am not going to be swayed. I think it could be revealing experience to hear her side of the story if nothing else than for future relationship insights.

I don't want to deal with my situation, just want to hear your stories regarding MC. I know it will be very beneficial for a bunch of folks that are thinking/currently seeing MC. What are common pitfalls, what to be careful about, your success rate, did it help or not, where are you right now and etc.

Thanks again and looking forward to hear from you,


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Hurts said:


> Dear friends,
> 
> I don't know if y'all remember but I posted about two weeks ago. Wife had a physical and emotional affair after 83 days of marriage. Also revealed that she made out with a different guy a year and a half ago. Also revealed she has known and deep rooted issues of attention seeking and validation from other men. Very likely is a "Love Addict".
> 
> ...


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

I'd also be interested to know if anyone here has had a MC who actually RECOMMENDED divorce.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Sounds to me like the parents perhaps know what a train wreck the daughter is and don't want you to leave her because she will end up living back with them ! Probably why the are footing the MC bill. Divorce / annul immediately and move on with your life. This woman and her family are nothing but dead weight anchors.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Couple bad ones... My WW’s IC who also tried to do MC for us.
My wife started using her for IC. As far as I can tell, it was just an opportunity for my WW to bash on me. Her IC, without ever meeting me, diagnosed that I was Narcissistic and had a video game addiction. Totally fed my wife’s victim mentality...

Then we started MC. The affairs were finally revealed to her (yes, my wife hadn’t shared that with her own counceler). Immediately, the counceler started in that playing video games after the kids went to bed was “just as bad” as my wife out screwing other men. She also told me that not respecting the privacy of my wife and “stalking” her was a very serious problem. Basically she was brushing aside my wife’s adultery to focus on my issues. Oh really? I gave her 3 sessions. Oh, btw; Her office was next door to the OM’s apartment complex where my wife would go... Not the best move for my WW since I would be triggering hard before each session.


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

Went to our first session after finding out about my wife's affair. I arrived first and told the counselor what I knew and why we were coming to see her. When my wife arrived to the appointment, the first words out of the MC's mouth were, “So, what were you missing in your marriage that compelled you to seek fulfillment from another man?” She immediately pinned my wife’s actions on me. I was stunned!

I told the counselor my wife was lying to her about what had happened and with whom she was involved. She responded that I was “seeking a confession,” and that I wasn’t entitled to a confession, that my wife was within her rights to lie and withhold from me the identity of her AP. After that session, I walked out and told her secretary to cancel all of our appointments and I never went back. I ran into her once socially after that; it wasn’t pretty and there was a rather tense moment between myself and her husband.

We’ve been to two other counselors since then, both of which were better, but neither of which helped me very much. I’m not impressed with the occupation, as a whole. I think you can get more out of doing your own research.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Our first MC was a disaster. She was part of my wife's company's EAP.

We met over 5 or 6 sessions. My stbxw was lying throughout (I learned later). While telling the MC how I was "controlling" and "didn't like her going out with friends", my stbxw was in the midst of her EA with the POSOM. When I would explain my version of events (not controlling at all, that my stbxw would never introduce any of her friends to the family (not once), or include them in anything - they were like a separate life), the MC would turn to me and say: "You just have to accept that your wife has her own life". She also met separately (and secretly) with my stbxw for IC at the time, and during our false R, my stbxw would say that the MC was telling her she should separate if I am so "controlling". 

1 year later my stbxw's secret EA had morphed into a PA (still secret) and we went to a second MC. This time, our problem was communication. So we worked on communications exercises. Meanwhile my wife is having a PA with this POSOM and communicating all of her unhappiness to the other man.

Now we are into our 4 month of separation and the punchline is - my wife KNOWS she is screwed up and is seeing IC - but only every other week. And guess who she is seeing? Yes, that's right - the same person we saw for our first round of MC. And my stbxw's weird and entitled behaviour just gets worse and worse. Her fantasy of being a "modern, confident woman" keeps getting validated, as evidenced by her bizarre choice to bail out of her daughter's birthday last Saturday to go out.

My stbxw is totally messed up.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Is there even licensing or certification to become a marriage counselor or do you just attend a few seminars and buy a couple of ferns for the office? It seems like a profession that lacks professional standards, kind of like psychics.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Is there even licensing or certification to become a marriage counselor or do you just attend a few seminars and buy a couple of ferns for the office? It seems like a profession that lacks professional standards, kind of like psychics.


I'm fairly certain that ANYBODY can hang out a shingle and advertise themselves as being a "life experience counselor".
The OP's first visit was to a woman who was probably interested in a relationship with his cheating wife.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I think it's important to know if your MC is experienced in infidelity. I also think it's important that you BOTH feel comfortable with the MC. Our first "MC" was an EAP counsellor. So she dealt with everything from work stress, marital breakdowns due to work stress, etc. I think the whole bias for the company is to get the worker back into a productive frame of mind. 

Of course, my wife was lying thoughout our MC - so maybe nobody could have helped, although I still believe a skilled counsellor would have been able to direct the conversations to reveal more truths.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Jasel said:


> I'd also be interested to know if anyone here has had a MC who actually RECOMMENDED divorce.


My MC doesn't "recommend" divorce, but does frequently include it in her toolkit of available options. It depends on the goal. If the goal is happy healthy lives, divorce should be considered an option. If the goal is to save the marriage, then it's not.


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

Hurts said:


> Lets hear your sad, enraging, misguided, misinformed, mean, unintelligent, costly, hopeless stories with marriage counseling.


During our rough time in our marriage where we both had been unfaithful we wanted to make our marriage work and went looking for a councilor. First one we went to was a man I had already started to see and he was good. My wife wanted to see another councilor so she started seeing a woman. A good councilor but she was not seeing a big part of the problem was my wife's drinking.

My councilor was in the same group so both councilors talked. Then my wife wanted to see one together but wanted to try a new councilor. That was a nightmare, the first guy was talking abstract and triangulation all kinds of odd ideas. That was one time we both walked out of a office and had to laugh. We saw one other one together but ended up both seeing the guy I had started to see.

He was very good and we both saw him alone and together and after a year or so things got better. Once she stopped drinking things really improved and we re-bonded and spent the last 20 years of our marriage pretty happy. There are some real nut case councilors out there, takes a little effort to find a good one.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Jasel said:


> I'd also be interested to know if anyone here has had a MC who actually RECOMMENDED divorce.


Mine has said, "You are both free to leave the relationship at any time" and "If....you just might not make it"

She also said we could reduce our visits to every other week instead of every week.

I think I got lucky with my MC.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My husband was seeing an IC who was so good she never caught on to the fact he'd cheated on me with a hooker despite being in the midst of treating him for 'cybersex' addiction. Which she had him believe was separate from 'sex addition' (cybersex addiction is a form of sex addiction) Less than a month after he did that, she declared that he was doing so well he didn't need to see her any more.


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## Hurts (Dec 30, 2012)

Racer
"Immediately, the counceler started in that playing video games after the kids went to bed was “just as bad” as my wife out screwing other men."

That is just ridiculous. I am angry for you, brother. WTF?

JustGrinding
"I was “seeking a confession,” and that I wasn’t entitled to a confession, that my wife was within her rights to lie and withhold from me the identity of her AP."

That is just enraging. Yes, please, lets go to this expensive professional and even then not be finally truthful with each other.

"I’m not impressed with the occupation, as a whole. I think you can get more out of doing your own research." 

Your own research, as in what? Books and forums? Therapy groups? Could you please elaborate?


Cedarman
"1 year later my stbxw's secret EA had morphed into a PA (still secret) and we went to a second MC. This time, our problem was communication. So we worked on communications 
exercises. Meanwhile my wife is having a PA with this POSOM and communicating all of her unhappiness to the other man." 

Holy $hit, that is terrible. I always assumed couples go to MC and totally "surrender" to the process and not actively committing adultery during.

"And guess who she is seeing? Yes, that's right - the same person we saw for our first round of MC."

I think they call it "doctor shopping". Meaning, you go and see five different counselors and then cherry pick the one that is the most sympathetic to your destructive behavior. Instead healing, which takes a bunch of work, tears and unpleasant truths about your self, people tend to pick temporary happiness, as in, the problem is not in you, and if it is, it is way smaller in scope. Lets talk about fun activities you can do on your weekends!

VermisciousKnid

"Is there even licensing or certification to become a marriage counselor or do you just attend a few seminars and buy a couple of ferns for the office? It seems like a profession that lacks professional standards, kind of like psychics."

That's the thing, It seems like they need to read maybe 4-5 books, and use a nice and complex terms to describe simple and plain actions. They know that no one will be held liable by faulty advice, because people are so different and complex and you can't just formulate a scientific procedure to handle a lot of those decades worth of upbringing.


Code-Welder

I appreciate your positive story.
"There are some real nut case councilors out there, takes a little effort to find a good one."

How would you suggest folks can separate the nut cases from the legitimate competent professionals? It seems very poorly regulated, and often, expensive counselors are not automatically good ones.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Our MC was very good. My wife refused to participate or do the homework, so after 3 sessions we quit.

My IC years and years ago gas lighted me. He wasn't specifically a MC but he was a licensed clinical psychologist. I went to him with a lot of stress over my new marriage and the fact my wife wouldn't have sex with me more than once every few months. Knowing what I know now, the profile is classic for her child sex abuse. This guy should have at least been more interested in digging into the issue.

Instead he told me she would get back to normal when her grad school calmed down. "Something, something, breathe deep, don't worry about it", is what I remember of the few sessions I went.

He was a bigger Nice Guy than I was!


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

I had a couselor tell me that my snooping to determine if I was being lied to was just as bad as my ex's cheating, while my ex sat there smugly nodding her head and trying to look wise. I seem to recall laughing at them.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Another "marriage counselor" (50+ yr old unmarried woman with no kids) we had said within the first 10 minutes of our first session that "if we didn't end up working it out, that's okay!" Excuse me, but what are we paying you for?


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

we had pretty good luck in MC my advice would be to check out local universities or colleges and see if they have a marriage and family institute which consists of counselors in training that are overseen by local professionals these student counselors are very very thorough in my experience and they charge on a sliding scale like 20.00 a visit versus professional fees helped save my marriage


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

I will say our first MC was good. Even though my wife was lying through her teeth about her “friendships I was overreacting about”, he worked really hard at getting us to see the awful dynamics of our communication and how we were only focusing on what the other was doing wrong. So he worked with us at how to have a conversation, stay on topic, and avoid the escalations. He worked with us essentially forcing us to own our own mistakes without blaming each other... But my wife found him “too judgemental” and refused to go anymore...


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

I believe that it was Upton Sinclair who said that: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!" 

That's marriage counseling in a nutshell.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

On such a short marriage I wouldn't even consider MC. If your W has done this in the 'honeymoon stage' of your marriage, what is she going to do later on? Frankly, I wouldn't even go there!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Count of Monte Cristo said:


> I believe that it was Upton Sinclair who said that: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!"
> 
> That's marriage counseling in a nutshell.


I like that. Where did you find it? I only read part of The Jungle.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Thor said:


> Our MC was very good. My wife refused to participate or do the homework, so after 3 sessions we quit.
> 
> My IC years and years ago gas lighted me. He wasn't specifically a MC but he was a licensed clinical psychologist. * I went to him with a lot of stress over my new marriage and the fact my wife wouldn't have sex with me more than once every few months. * Knowing what I know now, the profile is classic for her child sex abuse. This guy should have at least been more interested in digging into the issue.
> 
> ...


What was like before you married her?


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I like that. Where did you find it? I only read part of The Jungle.


I also read the Jungle (10th grade), but I think that quote may have been from another of his writings.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In the US it takes very little to be a certified licensed counselor. A few certificate courses a test or two and you hang out your shingle. People rarely do due diligence on their therapists because they're embarrassed at being perceived as challenging them. You should ask a few questions of them first to get a read on how experienced, educated and capable they are.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> What was like before you married her?


Great for the first 2 years +-. She was sexually uninhibited when I met her, I was a virgin. Age 18. While I was definitely a bit intimidated I was also jealous of her. She'd had the high school experiences I wished I'd had. When we met in college it was a white hot romance including lots of sex. She initiated several on the days I didn't. She was up for most anything, certainly pushing my comfort zone. She was quite active with her previous boyfriends, too.

When we got engaged things cooled a bit. I made some excuses for her, such as it was a stressful time for both of us. Senior yr in college, her applying to grad schools and me applying for jobs, trying to find a common location. The last 3 months before the wedding the sex was almost zero.

After the wedding it nearly stopped. She refused almost every time I approached her. She would no longer do most things we used to do. I thought it must be something wrong with me which caused her to change, because she was sexual when we met and she was sexual with me for a couple of years. So that was one of the major drivers of my turmoil which led me to IC.

The IC basically said I should not expect more from my wife while she was in grad school. He worked on getting me to suppress my expectations and to not communicate my needs/desires/fantasies/hopes/disappointments with my wife.

I admit that at times I have looked back and wondered if he was an AP! He was a recent grad of the same psych program my wife was in, so they were nominally connected but no real reason to think they would ever meet. Still, his actions were so bizarre looking back now.


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## Standing2014 (Mar 31, 2015)

Jasel said:


> I'd also be interested to know if anyone here has had a MC who actually RECOMMENDED divorce.


Our first couples counselor told my husband when i wasn't present that our "marriage was dead". Then when i confronted her she totally back-peddled. Still standing for my marriage and holding on through separation even though my husband totally bought into her negative message.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

So in my state I was advised by a lawyer before going that attending marriage counseling after you're aware of infidelity could be seen as your condoning the affair - just something to be aware of if you have filing on grounds of adultery in mind.

Anyway, we went to one session with a marriage counselor my husband selected who was from a pro-marriage camp, in other words, he wouldn't counsel divorce under any circumstances. It was ok I guess except he saved a massive guilt trip about the woes of divorce and terrible effect it will have on children until the close of the session, which struck me as true, but a somewhat passive aggressive way of closing, after seemingly being impartial. I pretty much knew I wanted to separate before going, but my husband made it a condition of his moving out that I attend a MC session first. I won't lie, I hated it. If I had it to do over again I would refuse to go and let the chips fall where they may. If you are dead set on divorce, my advice would be to skip it.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

I chalk up this story to my own personal stupidity:

My wife, after she forced me out of our new place (new location due to her new job and I didn't have one yet) causing me to live with my parents and my tail between my legs...finally started seeing a counselor after I confronted her on her EA and her life started falling apart with me out of the picture. She, in good faith, started seeing the counselor as a part of her meeting my demand requirements necessary for reconciliation.

Don't know what she told the guy, as specialist in sex addiction, but after some time she calls crying that she had done everything I asked and even counselor suggested I return to be a part of her therapy support. I reluctantly acquiesce after 6 mos separation...only to get forced to leave 3 months later!

This is why when she asked for a divorce this time around (4 years after all of that craziness) that I just shrug about it.

As for counselors, there are some very good ones out there...but a great number are in it to work on their own unresolved issues, thus involve a high degree of cross-transference toward the sympathized spouse AND a bias of extreme prejudice against the secondary spouse.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Marriage counseling is a misguided genre of a stranger trying to shed light on the obvious. It is sad that a third party must be used to teach people the basic principles of a relationship. If it gets that far the ending is right around the corner and the one who makes out in this deal, win or lose, is the therapist. 

You can't free a fish from water!!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Remember the counsellor who managed to get the husband to cheat with her?


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> Remember the counsellor who managed to get the husband to cheat with her?


Or perhaps my husband's OW who *is* a MC? (we've never been clients, though).


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

bb1984 said:


> Or perhaps my husband's OW who *is* a MC? (we've never been clients, though).


We had a BH here a couple of years ago whose WW was a marriage and family counselor. I think it was either DevastatedDad or SomedayDig. Perhaps someone can help me out with that one.


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

3putt said:


> We had a BH here a couple of years ago whose WW was a marriage and family counselor. I think it was either DevastatedDad or SomedayDig. Perhaps someone can help me out with that one.


Is that the one with the phone as the VAR? That one was rough, I think I replaced Sheetrock after reading that thread. 

Cheers,
V(13)


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Voltaire2013 said:


> Is that the one with the phone as the VAR? That one was rough, I think I replaced Sheetrock after reading that thread.
> 
> Cheers,
> V(13)


That was DD. Actually heard his wife screwing her OM over the phone. Yeah, that was brutal. Right up there with Morituri. Glad I wasn't here then as I may have been going to Home Depot for some sheetrock myself.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

3putt said:


> We had a BH here a couple of years ago whose WW was a marriage and family counselor. I think it was either DevastatedDad or SomedayDig. Perhaps someone can help me out with that one.


Yes, SDD, it was.

Mind you, I forgot momentarily that my FWW was a counsellor. Though in fairness to her, she was never a marriage guidance counsellor.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Jasel said:


> I'd also be interested to know if anyone here has had a MC who actually RECOMMENDED divorce.


Not divorce, but my MC actually told my WW that if she was unable to open up and deal with my concerns about the affair, the relationship would effectively be over.

Didn't recommend it, but made it clear what the likely outcome would be. A more professional approach and probably the only approach I would expect a professional to take.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

3putt said:


> We had a BH here a couple of years ago whose WW was a marriage and family counselor. I think it was either DevastatedDad or SomedayDig. Perhaps someone can help me out with that one.


That was DD. Dig's wife (Regret) was/is a teacher.

I think that DD's wife has posted here as well...? EI mentioned them in another thread recently.


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## 2asdf2 (Jun 5, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> That was DD. Dig's wife (Regret) was/is a teacher.
> 
> I think that *DD's wife* has posted here as well...? EI mentioned them in another thread recently.


She turned out to be another asset to TAM. ChangingMe. I miss seeing her contributions. Not here since 01-03-2014.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

BjornFree said:


> And your in laws have the agenda of R because being divorced for cheating after two months of marriage is only going to give their little princess a bad rep.


And a major concern is she's likely going to want to move back in with them.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

My WW picked her IC on recommendations from Pastor. IC called me and said that aside from our 2 Insurance payments there would be an additional $35.00 co-pay. I promptly called her, speaking directly, "You can either take the Ins payments, or no deal."

She agreed. We later used her for MC, I still think sitting on a couch and listening to people blab on for an hour at $100+ and hour is scam worthy.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My wife got in a fist fight with a family counselor during the session.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Hurts said:


> You guys, thanks for your concern,
> 
> I am pretty much dead set on divorce or annulment. Her parents are paying for %100 percent of all counseling. Doesn't cost me a dime. I am not going to be swayed. I think it could be revealing experience to hear her side of the story if nothing else than for future relationship insights.
> 
> ...


Asked wife to go for IC many times, and asked her to share with me or we could go together. Why did I ask her to go? Silly me, I confronted a guy and did not think we could make it unless she talked with someone about her issues. I then thought she was so committed to our marriage, and this was just a mistake, that she was going to talk about what happened and try to get help to never cheat again. We talked about that. We did not get into detail. I told her I wanted to go to MC after her IC and if I needed to go to IC, I'd go. Of course, I wasn't thinking she can't tell me everything she was talking about, and, truthfully I didn't ask for everything, but I did ask her to talk generally about it. She did for a while. We talked at home and things were getting a little better. I agreed with things. I started to think we should make a list of things to work on. Silly me, I was so happy. Then, she stopped talking. She said it was none of my business and if I wanted to go to counseling, I should find one. My mouth dropped open sorta like this 

I knew we were done. It took another year or two to convince my x2 that we weren't right for each other. I was evil, bad, whatever she said. I really don't know. All I know is my wife lost respect for me. I lost my libido slowly around the same time. Things were slowly falling apart. 

Guess who suggested she go to this woman counselor? Me! Never suggest she see the same one you went to see. This counselor saw my own mother and I think my sister as well. She was with the county and had an office in the convent's basement. Yeah. 

I went to two sessions and x2 left. First one, I was told how rotten no good evil etc. etc. I was. I said okay. I said, let's work on it. Where do we start? The next week, I was told x2 couldn't put up with it any more. I said what? What can't you put up with? Just forget it. Huh? What do you mean? What exactly are you talking about? What are the issues? She never told me. 

A week later, she left. Yeah, WTF. And that was the second guy. There were others and one in particular when she left, and I had no idea of the last one or how many in total. Yeah wtf.

Go get your own counseling. Figure yourself out. You can't help your marriage on your own. You can become a better you, no matter what happens. You will have someone to talk with, too.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> My wife got in a fist fight with a family counselor during the session.



You tease, tell us more.......


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

For someone that is deeply hurt, there isn't anything a counselor can say. For someone that caused the hurting, anything the counselor says is pure hope for the one hurting.


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## BrutalHonesty (Apr 5, 2015)

> Wife had a physical and emotional affair after 83 days of marriage. Also revealed that she made out with a different guy a year and a half ago.





> and the counselor is totally thinking its a good idea for me to give her a second chance.


Can your MC count? I see that not as a second chance at all. She cheated on you more than once. The fact that you were not aware of it doesn't make it one incident. 

Anyway, with 83 days into a marriage and you having this sort of issues i would totally pull the plug on the marriage. Before she can get her hooks on whatever you own. And don't even think about having kids with this woman.


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## HHB (Nov 21, 2014)

Over two years we saw five counselors. Now-XW would go until one agreed with me and the quit and search for a new one. I was in hang in there till the last kid leaves for college mode so indulged it. 

Meanwhile, My golf buddy, a PHD clinical psychologist, quickly diagnosed our problem. "Your wife is bat sh!t crazy." Yes. Yes she was and still is.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> You tease, tell us more.......


She started screaming at the therapist & calling him a momma's boy then got out of her chair lunged at him, pulled him up out of his chair and started hitting him with one hand. He cowered and started screaming and I had to pull them apart. This was court ordered BTW and he signed the form, threw it at us told us to leave and never come back. 

Mind you she's 5'8" and weighs 120lbs soaking wet. 

But to be fair the counselor was pretty terrible at his job. He seemed to have formed all his opinions in the first 10 seconds of the visit.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

We had one marriage therapist who in the first visit said, and I quote "Some relationships end with hate-f^ucking, yours might too"


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## Tubbalard (Feb 8, 2015)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gitsoms (Apr 7, 2015)

Hurts said:


> Dear friends,
> 
> I don't know if y'all remember but I posted about two weeks ago. Wife had a physical and emotional affair after 83 days of marriage. Also revealed that she made out with a different guy a year and a half ago. Also revealed she has known and deep rooted issues of attention seeking and validation from other men. Very likely is a "Love Addict".
> 
> ...


I know you have had a bad experience here, and I know what you are trying to say here, but I am not a paid counselor and I would be happy to advise you on how you can try to deal with this, a divorce being the final option.


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## lucasred (Oct 26, 2016)

I know this is at least 3 years since you were betrayed by a new wife.
How did you make out?
Are you back together, Divorced, dating, friends, or is she just somebody that was in your past?
What was the bombshell she couldn't tell you on the phone?
Just curious.

Good luck.
Jim


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