# My text tonight.....



## ann87 (Apr 16, 2015)

My husband text me tonight from his moms where he has been staying for the last 2 weeks with..."he doesn't think he wants to be married anymore, and he doesn't feel in love with me. Although it doesn't mean that he hates me." 

Yea....I received that tonight after cleaning pee off the floor from my 3 year old.

He said all these feelings for me went away around Dec/Jan when he couldn't take my yelling, telling him how to drive, and my controlling over certain things. 
Let me tell you the stress we have both been under in the last year. He got out of the Military after 10 years of active duty, and 5 deployments last July. He didn't want to get out but because of downsizing he had to. He also had major intestine surgery before we moved NC to FL, huge drop in income, we both gained weight, depression, ups and downs. He went through 3 jobs until he realized school was the way to go. We just fired our crappy real estate agent and are in the process of hiring a new one for our home in NC. I suggested counseling and he won't go, even by himself. I know he has PTSD. I have no insurance for myself and have contacted multiple counselors and nothing is in my price range.
He is just a shell of what he use to be, how can you go from loving someone who is the mother of your 2 children to just....not loving them after ALL we have been through.....Our communication problems are 100% fixable.... YOu don't just crap out on someone.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

So, he has started school? If so, sounds like he's met someone there....

As far as counseling, are you religious at all? The counselor I go to is only $25 because her church (not my church) allowed her to use a conference room in their building for free and we meet there. You could contact some churches to see if they have any counselors?


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

He sounds depressed and not sure what to do with his life. No he shouldn't just crap out on his wife and children. Could he be seeing someone else and is just blaming your behavior for his leaving so he doesn't have to take the blame? Men who leave their family usually have someone on the side. There is really nothing you can do but take care of yourself and your children. If he isn't sending you money to support you and the children then get a lawyer and maybe file for separation to the court will force him to pay.


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## M0M_SDG (Apr 7, 2015)

I'm sorry you had to get that message, he should be talking to you in person!! If he is PTSD does the VA help at all? there has to be some resources. Also seems a bit extreme are you sure there isnt anyone else? Why does he want to just quit on you like that....


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Why do you all assume he is seeing someone else? I don't sense that at all. Think carefully before saying something like that. OP-you are likely in for one of two paths.........you will have a lengthy roller coaster ride of ups and downs in your future with an uncertain outcome or you get tough and chart your course and cut your losses and move on and spare yourself a lot of pain......only you can determine which path you should pursue......stay with us and we will help guide and support you.........peace....D


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## huffmani (Apr 16, 2015)

Ugg. This in not conversation to have via text. I hope you have good support in your life! Military Life is stressful. Young kids are stressful. It sounds like you have a great deal of things that are challenges. I wish you the best in the weeks ahead.


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## ann87 (Apr 16, 2015)

Sorry for the delay in responding. I type, erase, type, erase. Just trying to get the facts and my feelings across.
We have been married for almost 9 years, together for 10. He is financially taking care of us even though he is living at his moms, and he is 100% there for our girls too.
He has told me he isn't interested in going to counseling for himself, I'm not going to push him. I grew up in a Christian home, and haven't been to church in a long time, I need to find one for me and the girls. I'm feeling the need to part of a church more than ever now. 
I'm pretty positive he isn't cheating either, he did that several years ago. 

He has been staying at his moms since 4/2, every day that passes I feel myself getting a little stronger and crying less. My girls are so use to him being deployed or training that they really don't ask why he isn't there. I've been thinking about everything he has put me through over the years (cheating physically, emotionally, lying.) I feel myself letting go of him, why do I want to subject myself to more possible pain? 

It's a huge roller coaster, I find myself letting go, and then I try to reason with myself that I still do love him and want to make it work. He comes around and we joke, laugh, but when it's time to talk about us he just won't talk about it. He says his mind is just too busy to even let himself think about that right now with exams, papers, and about to start another part time job. I'm not forcing him to talk about it. 

I never dreamed of getting married to only divorce and become a single mother. . . . I'm sure no one does. With that said, I have enrolled my almost 4 year old in Pre K starting in August and I go Tuesday to talk to a college counselor about enrolling in the dental assistant program.


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## ann87 (Apr 16, 2015)

I'm on my cell, sorry in advance for the typos! I had written a post in reply to everyone a few days ago and I swear it said it was waiting admin moderation? However, I don't see it.
Anyways, I will try to answer the questions that were asked and divulge more info.

We haven't gotten involved in a church yet, we moved here to FL less than a year ago. Live has been crazy busy. I know, sorry excuse! I have very much been feeling myself need church and worship more than ever. I need to just go with my girls!!
I contacted quite a few counselors, the cheapest intern was $50 per session, I even submitted a financial paper to another place and heard absolutely nothing back from them.
We have been married for 9 years in July, and together for 10. I'm not sure why I'm ashamed to say that over the years he has lied about a lot. He cheated on me 2 years ago, we went to any counseling sessions. I always said once I was cheated on I'd be gone! Well it happened and we had 2 young girls, and the pain was so much, but even worse when he wasn't there.
I really don't feel he is cheating......he is a blank shell right now. He has been at his moms since before Easter. He 100% helps financially, and is there for his girls. The girls are SO use to him being gone bc he was deployed or training a lot.

We have so much stress right now, let alone our marriage problems.
I am going back to school in August, my little peanut is enrolled for PreK starting in August. I'm 900+ miles from my family, who I haven't told what is going on, they have a lot going on. My older brothers cancer, my younger brothers suicide attempt, my 90 year old grandma that my mom takes care of. I have my (newly divorced) MIL (my husband is staying with) she adores me and the girls though.

I'm just trying to paint a better picture of everything that's goinng on.

He says he can't begin to talk or discuss us bc of the stress from school. Exams, papers, about to take on another part time job. He can't let those thoughts in and be distracted. 

Some days I want him back other days I'm ready to pack up and head to NC if he isn't going to communicate about us or our future at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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