# 50 shades of grey on valentines day



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Fifty Shades Darker. 2nd installment coming out. Anyone going as a couple? Maybe learn some new tricks?


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Why won't 50 Shades just die already


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

The entire series is just silly ... the books and the movies. The author clearly doesn't know what consent means or how a D/s relationship actually works.


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> The entire series is just silly ... the books and the movies. The author clearly doesn't know what consent means or how a D/s relationship actually works.


Or how to write.....

tedious


----------



## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> The entire series is just silly ... the books and the movies. The author clearly doesn't know what consent means or how a D/s relationship actually works.


But the author does know how to make money... :smile2:


----------



## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Have not read the book. Watched the movie, didn't get very far. I don't think they could have made it any more awkward. A bit too deer in the headlights for me.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

The book needs to be read to be, ehem, appreciated. It is BAD.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Talker67 said:


> Fifty Shades Darker. 2nd installment coming out. Anyone going as a couple? Maybe learn some new tricks?




I still haven't figured out how a poor kid that was used as a sex toy managed to become a billionaire, build an office skyscraper, and learn to fly before 27 yo. 

I'd rather have a root canal than watch it but if wife wants to see it i will go. 

I won't get any sex for taking her.


----------



## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

If the ideas of the book piqued your or your spouse's interest, I suggest reading up on real Dom/Sub relationships and the BDSM culture. The story of 50 shades is ok, at least it opened the eyes of many individuals who may be interested in such a sexual manner, but it is far from accurate. Though if both you and your partner like the books/first movies then you should definitely go see it together especially if it will lead to more adventurous love-making. The books are crap in reality - it's the kinky content that gets most people interested. I suggest having a real go at it sometime... It's quite fun.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Not my thing. I have heard its rubbish and I am not into S and M anyway.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

The first movie was also released on Valentine's day the year it came out and my ex-h and I went to it that night. I had not read the book but had a pretty good idea of it because I read so much ABOUT the book. I'm not into the BDSM type of stuff portrayed in the movie, but I am kinky and wanted to see it...even knowing it would be totally stupid (and it was). It was a fun date. We had great sex afterwards though we would have anyway. I would never ever read the books now that I saw the movie, but I'm not sorry I saw the movie. It was amusing and like I said, a good date night.

This year I don't have a date. I might go see the new one with a girlfriend if one is interested. Mostly to make fun of how wrong everything is.


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> I still haven't figured out how a poor kid that was used as a sex toy managed to become a billionaire, build an office skyscraper, and learn to fly before 27 yo.
> 
> I'd rather have a root canal than watch it but if wife wants to see it i will go.
> 
> I won't get any sex for taking her.


1000 pages on your root canal experience would be a better read


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Saibasu said:


> The books are crap in reality - it's the kinky content that gets most people interested. I suggest having a real go at it sometime... It's quite fun.


Ever since the books soared in popularity the lifestyle has attracted crowds of young so called "doms" that prey on the community. These guys are clueless and have wrecked havoc on the BDSM community.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Keke24 said:


> Have not read the book. Watched the movie, didn't get very far. I don't think they could have made it any more awkward. A bit too deer in the headlights for me.


The movie was basically porn which doesn't interest me in the least. Maybe the new movie actually has a plot...but it's probably going to horrible anyway.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I would consider myself as someone that enjoys reading and learning about sexuality, but the 50 Shades book and movie have never even peaked my interest. 

I'm more of a non-fiction kind of guy. There are so many good reads on kinky sex that are based on real life experiences as well as scholarly research on almost every topic imaginable.

For example I find it extraordinarily fascinating to learn that it was a prostitute during rule of the Roman Empire invented the first reliable way to measure short periods of time. This was to resolve disputes among her clients that some men took too long. Her success of being fair with time made her very well known among the men. She had a brass bowl with a small hole drilled in the bottom. She would float it in a larger brass pot filled with water. Gradually the bowl would fill with water and eventually sink. Upon hitting the bottom of the pot, it would chime! 

...now imagine some nerdy historian getting his hands on that bowl and getting to see exactly how long it floats. Odds are it would still have the exact same accuracy today as it did during ancient times!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Nobody admits to liking it, but the lady got filthy rich somehow...


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Nobody admits to liking it, but the lady got filthy rich somehow...


My wife read all three. I think she liked them enough. Not like omg these are great books, but teehee these are naughty. Also never hurts that its ultimately a sappy love story with a 27 year old adonis billionaire.

Couple times my wife said I benefited from her reading the books in the bedroom around her Aunt I believe. Stupidly i was like WTF? I did? Now when she says that I just go along with it. :smthumbup:


----------



## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> Ever since the books soared in popularity the lifestyle has attracted crowds of young so called "doms" that prey on the community. These guys are clueless and have wrecked havoc on the BDSM community.


I agree. These "Dom's" are a joke and they are making the whole BDSM community look bad. But what can you do? Yah know? I just try and shed light on the real lifestyle that many of us share when someone asks a question about it. Honestly, all of these inexperienced "Dom's" ( and I use that word lightly) have the potential to seriously hurt someone.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Fozzy said:


> Nobody admits to liking it, but the lady got filthy rich somehow...


Well, I REALLY didnt read them, sex is more important to me than that rubbish.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jb02157 said:


> The movie was basically porn which doesn't interest me in the least. Maybe the new movie actually has a plot...but it's probably going to horrible anyway.


Yes is IS porn, we dont watch porn either. I think of sex as important and special, these things just make it sordid and seedy.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Saibasu said:


> If the ideas of the book piqued your or your spouse's interest, I suggest reading up on real Dom/Sub relationships and the BDSM culture. The story of 50 shades is ok, at least it opened the eyes of many individuals who may be interested in such a sexual manner, but it is far from accurate. Though if both you and your partner like the books/first movies then you should definitely go see it together especially if it will lead to more adventurous love-making. The books are crap in reality - it's the kinky content that gets most people interested. I suggest having a real go at it sometime... It's quite fun.


 I guess it depends on what you call fun. :surprise:


----------



## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> I guess it depends on what you call fun. :surprise:


Well it actually varies quite a bit I've heard.

I myself am willing to at least TRY most things with my WIFE as long as they dont involve peeing, pooping or other people.


----------



## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Nobody admits to liking it, but the lady got filthy rich somehow...


Brand licensing? The Romantic Depot has HUGE flag/banner for officially licensed 50 shades "gear", I hope it's true and she gets a cut.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

CharlieParker said:


> Brand licensing? The Romantic Depot has HUGE flag/banner for officially licensed 50 shades "gear", *I hope it's true and she gets a cut*.


Or a spanking, amirite?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Middle of Everything said:


> Well it actually varies quite a bit I've heard.
> 
> I myself am willing to at least TRY most things with my WIFE as long as they dont involve peeing, pooping or other people.


 As I see it, the need to hurt or be hurt to get aroused often shows that the person is sexually scarred and damaged.


----------



## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> I guess it depends on what you call fun. :surprise:


People who partake in the BDSM culture all do so willingly and there are many who only partake in say just the B &D or just the B stuff. Not everyone in the life takes part in all facets of the culture. And most have no underlying abuse/neglect at its root like in the books I'm sure some do because there are many people who do it. Different strokes for different folks you know? 

As well any sexual encounter, be it BDSM themed or vanilla, has the potential to be quite scary if you are with the wrong person. It's the trust shared between the two partners that make it as amazing as it is. It allows a couple to explore the depth of their unique connection. Make sense? I'm probably rambling, it's hard to put into the right words.


----------



## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Middle of Everything said:


> Well it actually varies quite a bit I've heard.
> 
> I myself am willing to at least TRY most things with my WIFE as long as they dont involve peeing, pooping or other people.


You are absolutely right. The variations are endless. You won't like some and others you will probably love! I suggest asking your wife about it and do some real RESEARCH, that book isn't a how to Manuel. When done the right ways it can be amazing, when done the wrong ways it can be dangerous. So make sure you read up before just heading to your local sex store and buying a flogger


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

jb02157 said:


> The movie was basically porn which doesn't interest me in the least. Maybe the new movie actually has a plot...but it's probably going to horrible anyway.



THAT is the whole point. It is Porn that is_ socially acceptable _to be seen going to watch. You can spice up your marriage sex, or if you are whining about a sexless marriage, try to jump start it, by just buying two tickets and a box of popcorn! Time to get off your azz and do something about that HD/LD relationship


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> THAT is the whole point. It is Porn that is_ socially acceptable _to be seen going to watch. You can spice up your marriage sex, or if you are whining about a sexless marriage, try to jump start it, by just buying two tickets and a box of popcorn! Time to get off your azz and do something about that HD/LD relationship


You dont need porn to have a good sex life, unless you have no imagination.


----------



## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> You dont need porn to have a good sex life, unless you have no imagination.


I agree. Tapping into ouur imagination can take your sex life to a whole new stratosphere.


----------



## ZDog377 (May 31, 2015)

My wife is going with a couple of her friends to see it tonight. There were good results after she saw the other one....


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

This sums up my thoughts perfectly....


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I wonder why this particular movie / book succeeded. I haven't read but other people have indicated that the writing isn't very good and it doesn't portray BDSM well.

Of course its quite possible that what is desirable in *fantasy* BDSM is very different from what is desirable in *real* BDSM. This isn't really surprising - a movie about real espionage wouldn't be as much fun as a Bond movie.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It succeeded because there is/was an overall wave of more open sexuality spreading among us as we shake off the shackles of our puritan ancestors. This particular book was helpful because it helped a lot of people imagine something new in that realm, even if what they imagined was not really true as far as BDSM reality. There were many other books, movies, websites and mass consciousness shifts that all occurred in the past 10 years, but which began much earlier.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Faithful Wife said:


> It succeeded because there is/was an overall wave of more open sexuality spreading among us as we shake off the shackles of our puritan ancestors. This particular book was helpful because it helped a lot of people imagine something new in that realm, even if what they imagined was not really true as far as BDSM reality. There were many other books, movies, websites and mass consciousness shifts that all occurred in the past 10 years, but which began much earlier.


People had shaken off those shackles long ago. I think its sad that such an awful badly written book and film were so popular.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

uhtred said:


> I wonder why this particular movie / book succeeded. I haven't read but other people have indicated that the writing isn't very good and it doesn't portray BDSM well.
> 
> Of course its quite possible that what is desirable in *fantasy* BDSM is very different from what is desirable in *real* BDSM. This isn't really surprising - a movie about real espionage wouldn't be as much fun as a Bond movie.


It started out as fan fiction. It's based on Twilight. She started writing it on one of those fan fiction sites and it took off. She had thousands of readers waiting for the next installment. I'm not sure if she decided to put in book form or if she was approached by the publisher.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I don't know if that is true. A lot of people seem to have fantasies about various forms of sexual coercion. Some want to keep it as pure fantasy, others find it fun to act out those fantasies in a safe situation. 

The popularity of movies like this, and of light bondage gear in mainstream sex shops suggests that this is pretty common.

I think you are right that some abused people may develop an unhealthy interest in this as a result of their abuse, but I don't think its a majority.




Diana7 said:


> As I see it, the need to hurt or be hurt to get aroused often shows that the person is sexually scarred and damaged.


----------



## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Speaking as a moderator:
@BradWesley2, that is enough.

Continuing this unwelcome line of questioning will result in a ban.

Be cordial, folks.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

farsidejunky said:


> Speaking as a moderator:
> @BradWesley2, that is enough.
> 
> Continuing this unwelcome line of questioning will result in a ban.
> ...


 Thank you. I wasn't going to answer such a crude question anyway.


----------



## RosaMimosa (Feb 4, 2017)

I heard it's gash... people were bursting out laughing.... it might have a positive effect though.... 

i'll be following some of the ideas from this article... and who know maybe 10 out of 50 shades.... 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/gorzauni/romance-is-dead-anti-valentines-day-ideas-for-c-2sfg0


----------



## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I have heard the movie isn't very good (50 Shades, not the new one). Neither myself or my wife have seen the original and I don't see us watching the new one either. I did enjoy 9 1/2 Weeks back when it came out, but just don't have an interest in these new ones. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> As I see it, the need to hurt or be hurt to get aroused often shows that the person is sexually scarred and damaged.


I'm sorry if it seems like I'm picking on you. I am picking out your comments because they reveal a lack of awareness of the broad range of human sexuality, not to mention the judgemental narrow minded attitude about sex.

We, human beings, don't know exactly why some things arouse while other things don't. Trauma may or may not have something to do with sexual fetishes but trauma also impacts many other areas of our lives. 

Are people who are afraid of heights reacting to a previous trauma?
Are people who dig bungee jumping reacting to previous trauma?

Maybe to both questions. The point is being afraid or being totally into it are all on the spectrum of normal human experience.

I dig lots of kinky stuff and I also have a history of sexual trauma. But my enjoyment of kinky stuff couldn't get beyond a very tightly held secret until AFTER, I healed from the trauma. Which shoots your theory all to hell. Not only that but there are LOTS of kinky people who have zero history of sexual trauma.

We just are and just aren't. 

Are we crazy or are you a prude? 

Maybe both, maybe neither.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I refused to read the books until the price dropped significantly and it took a long while for that to happen. Prior to reading those books I had been reading, writing, and editing BDSM type erotica for a few years. News flash: none of it is good writing! LOL! 

It's not meant to be anything more than scintillating, and it succeeded for a lot of women.

When I finally read the books, kindle sale all three for $9, I wasn't impressed with the eroticism at all. I was expecting to be aroused at least a little. Nothing. It wasn't until book 2 that the story became interesting and by the end of book 3 I got a headache from rolling my eyes too much. 

BDSM was actually a plot devise and it was poorly used. Consent was sought, limits were discussed, safewords were issued and there was one spanking scene. That was the extent of BDSM in all 3 books! It really was nothing more than a cheesy romance that used props from BDSM. That's it.

When the movie came out, I saw it and wasn't impressed. The guy who plays Christian Grey was awful! But I thought Dakota Johnson was adorable. The music....the music was HOT! 

Ya'll are making a mountain out of a mole hill. I got more aroused watch James Bond, with Daniel Craig.


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

So the wife and I went to see 50 Shades Dumber yesterday.

No plot. Seriously, zero plot. At a couple of points I thought there might BE a plot, but they let those moments go completely to hell and didn't develop the story at all. Continuation of bad acting and poor dialogue. Not erotic in the slightest, and the soundtrack was off-putting. Timing the thrusting to crescendos in the music? Seriously?

Best things I can say about it are that they made Dakota shave her legs this time, and they had an awesome Falcon Crest moment with Kim Basinger.


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> The first movie was also released on Valentine's day the year it came out and my ex-h and I went to it that night. I had not read the book but had a pretty good idea of it because I read so much ABOUT the book. I'm not into the BDSM type of stuff portrayed in the movie, but I am kinky and wanted to see it...even knowing it would be totally stupid (and it was). It was a fun date. We had great sex afterwards though we would have anyway. I would never ever read the books now that I saw the movie, but I'm not sorry I saw the movie. It was amusing and like I said, a good date night.
> 
> This year I don't have a date. I might go see the new one with a girlfriend if one is interested. *Mostly to make fun of how wrong everything is.*


Let me know when you make one of those Youtube videos called, "Everything Wrong with 50 Shades Darker in under 20 Minutes." Because I really enjoy that kind of stuff! 

In one of my books I read about sex, a PHD researcher was rather upset about these movies because in many scenarios the concept of sexual nonconcurrence is portrayed as "this is as good as it gets!" As in one loosing all control of their sexual response without inherently even being aroused by something mentally. 

I have not seen any of these movies, nor read the book. But I have to imagine that it comes across like this one scene in "Masters of Sex" season three where this wife is desperate to make love to her paralyzed husband. Masters and Johnson did some research and showed her the possible ways to make her husband's body still respond sexually and even get a viable erection for sex. The problem was is that he had no control over this, nor any physical enjoyment, and it was just emotionally challenging for him to witness his wife really getting off on that. 

...anyway, hope you find a date!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> So the wife and I went to see 50 Shades Dumber yesterday.
> 
> No plot. Seriously, zero plot. At a couple of points I thought there might BE a plot, but they let those moments go completely to hell and didn't develop the story at all. Continuation of bad acting and poor dialogue. Not erotic in the slightest, and the soundtrack was off-putting. Timing the thrusting to crescendos in the music? Seriously?
> 
> Best things I can say about it are that they made Dakota shave her legs this time, and they had an awesome Falcon Crest moment with Kim Basinger.


Do Not Pick on Dakota! She is adorable!

Kim Bassinger played Mrs Robinson? Awesome!

No surprise about the dialogue, but this is where the story finally got interesting. 

The first movie really played up the budding romance which is what I found boring, while the first book also had a slow build to questions about just who Christian is and how did he come to be so "cold and distant." (And frankly this is were the book failed because he never really was cold and distant, brooding and intense ain't cold and distant.) The second book revealed back story that was continually alluded to in the first book so it kind of makes sense that the second *movie* wouldn't work at all because the continuation of the story would feel too disconnected.

Say it ain't so that the sound track was off-putting. I was really hoping for more of what the first offered. That first sound track was very erotic.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Let me know when you make one of those Youtube videos called, "Everything Wrong with 50 Shades Darker in under 20 Minutes." Because I really enjoy that kind of stuff!
> 
> In one of my books I read about sex, a PHD researcher was rather upset about these movies because in many scenarios the concept of sexual nonconcurrence is portrayed as "this is as good as it gets!" As in one loosing all control of their sexual response without inherently even being aroused by something mentally.
> 
> ...




Masters of Sex, excellent series!


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> Masters of Sex, excellent series!



@Anon Pink not when my wife cheats on me and watches about four more episodes without me in the middle of the night on a regular basis. In order to keep up with her, I only got to watch about half of each season. 

Imagine me having to watch Homeland the same way and try to keep up with the plot. 

Why do women cheat on their husbands with regards to binge watching really good TV shows? Do you do the same?

Badsanta


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

The only way my wife and I will get into 50 shades...


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

badsanta said:


> @Anon Pink not when my wife cheats on me and watches about four more episodes without me in the middle of the night on a regular basis. In order to keep up with her, I only got to watch about half of each season.
> 
> Imagine me having to watch Homeland the same way and try to keep up with the plot.
> 
> ...


Yes, I do. But our TV viewing habits are drastically different. I almost always prefer a book to TV so when I do watch TV it's generally a binge. Whereas he is always in front of the TV especially on weekends and has ample opportunities to catch up. He watches TV shows only about a third of the time, the rest he is watching sports especially golf. And by the way Golf TV announcers...it is AmaTEUR not amater!!!! Like saboteur not saboter, sure not ser! God dammit idiot announcers say it right or shut up!

But now that I think of it, of all the TV shows he does record and watch later, not one of them are continuing stories. Each episode can be seen pretty much without bothering with the previous. Whereas the only TV shows I watch regularly, Walking Dead, House of Cards, Vikings, American Horror Story.. all continuing stories.


----------



## Sixlet (Apr 26, 2016)

ugh No thank you,please. I couldn't get through the books and barely made it through 20 mins of the first movie. I might watch Secretary though


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Do Not Pick on Dakota! She is adorable!


I didn't even touch on her Ronald McDonald lipstick!


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> Fifty Shades Darker. 2nd installment coming out. Anyone going as a couple? Maybe learn some new tricks?


Why not just watch porn together, it's the same thing


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

How about a 50 Shades Cooking party Valentines Day dinner? Yes, it is a real book and really is on the NYT best sellers list. Check out the intro to the 50 Shades of Chicken Cookbook on YouTube.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

jaysus, now i am HUNGRY!!!


----------

