# Should we have a second baby when we have intimacy problems?



## marriedm (Aug 25, 2012)

Hi.
First, apologize my english.
Ive been married for 3 years now and living with her 3 more years, and we have a daughter with 9 months.
Before we had any children, the sex was occasional, and started to fade in the third year when we were not married. 
It was something that started to fade for both sides i guess. Im not a romantic guy and she is.

But nowadays we make sex once in two month or three!
Now she talks that she wants to have a second baby.
I really don't know what to do. I don't know if we love each other anymore. I enjoy having sex and now i look to other women and feel the need, if u know what i mean. I rejected an offer from a women, because i am married. But at the same time i wanted to do it.

I fear that our relationship gets worse with second child. But she don't. I talked to her about us, and she thinks that our relationship is normal.
But being married without having sex, and start to look for prostitutes or other women is bad for everyone. Now she wants another baby, but i think she doesnt see our relationship. She just sees the need to have a baby. I dont know what to think really.

THank u for ur time reading it.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

I wouldnt recommend having babies in any "troubled" marriage..No matter what the issue..

Its not fair to the cherabs..


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

marriedm said:


> Im not a romantic guy and she is.


If she's a romantic guy you've got bigger issues than intimacy.

Unless you already knew that.


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## marriedm (Aug 25, 2012)

She is romantic, im not


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

marriedm said:


> She is romantic, im not


Perhaps you are not being romantic enough (?) You say you want more sex and she needs romance. Could there be a connection?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

donders said:


> If she's a romantic guy you've got bigger issues than intimacy.
> 
> Unless you already knew that.


Smart alec. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Marriedm you could check out the five languages of love, his needs/ her needs, and married mans sex life. I think they might help you... also... you and your wife could take the free online quiz for the five languages of love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

if you think your sex life sucks on,have another kid and see what happens. seems to me all she's using you for is a sperm donor.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

No, you shouldn't have a second child if you are having problems in your marriage. What you should do is work on your problems, first. Another child will just muddy things that are already cloudy.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

It got worse after each kid we had. Don't believe her when she says it won't, I assure you it will unless she works on this now.

Does she speak English? If so I'd recommend you have her come here.


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## marcgaugha (Aug 27, 2012)

you and your wife could take the free online quiz for the five languages of love


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## CaptVere (Aug 27, 2012)

marriedm said:


> Hi.
> First, apologize my english.
> Ive been married for 3 years now and living with her 3 more years, and we have a daughter with 9 months.
> Before we had any children, the sex was occasional, and started to fade in the third year when we were not married.
> ...


Definitely do not have another baby until you resolve this problem first. 9 months though is still pretty soon for a baby. Breast feeding and babies does affect a woman's libido. In this case you need to discuss these issues with her and give it a bit more time I think.

You need to figure out what the issue is. Has her libido gone forever? Was she ever really into you or does she just want to make a family and then cut you off except for the occasional duty sex? Is this just a temporary lull because of the baby?


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

Do NOT have another baby. It is unfair to bring another child into a relationship that has serious problems, it will only make the problems so much worse.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

No no no

a thousand times no!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

The answer to your question is NO NO NO and NO.


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