# How did you find out about your spouses Affair ?



## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

About 6 months ago my best friend found a burner phone in his wife's shoe , in the closet after she arrived home from a business trip. He discovered her affair because she didn't silence the notifications / put the phone on silent. 

If not for the BP he would have never known . 38yr marriage ( yes it was her boss )

How did you find out ?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Gut feeling one day that something wasn’t right so I looked at his credit card statement (which I had never done before). My guess is that she wasn’t the first one but she was the first one I had proof of. I had been much too trusting.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

Timeline - first thing I noticed is time elapsed from when leaving somewhere with the "next stop" should be home.
Well, 30 minute trip taking over an hour? Then checking mileage on car - did not jive with the normal commute to school from home and back. 

Before Cell phones (remember the first ones weighed several pounds and hand a carry handle?  Internet didn't exist other than ARPA. So - I check the phone bill. Back then all calls were listed if there was a charge and "there it was" - lots of calls to a number that didn't make sense. So, I call it up and the AP answers. Life went downhill quickly.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Openminded said:


> Gut feeling one day that something wasn’t right so I looked at his credit card statement (which I had never done before). My guess is that she wasn’t the first one but she was the first one I had proof of. I had been much too trusting.


I don't know if you had been too trusting or more was he much to deceitful , lucky I have never been cheated on and I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HER 
I have known of a few people that got caught but all of them cases are people I just know in passing , 
I have worked with some men that I know are cheaters as they some times boosted about it , and knowing them and not knowing their wife's about all I thought their wife's know but turned a blind eye 

THERE WAS ONE guy that was calming he was inspecting us once, gov guy that used that time to see his married mistress, we found out as the mistress told my wife he used the gov car and time during work to cover it , his wife never found out as he never paid for anything by card , and all time spent was during work time , 

there IS a saying women are better to hide it than men , why they say this I don't know ,
but I think most charters don't get found out and a lot of people seem to turn a blind eye


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Gut feeling on a few.
E-mails once.
Had people tell me a couple times.
And, yup, I caught him in comprmising situations a couple times, too.

Did I mention I am thrilled I left that jackass?

Eternally grateful for DH.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jimi007 said:


> About 6 months ago my best friend found a burner phone in his wife's shoe , in the closet after she arrived home from a business trip. He discovered her affair because she didn't silence the notifications / put the phone on silent.
> 
> If not for the BP he would have never known . 38yr marriage ( yes it was her boss )
> 
> How did you find out ?


😡😡😡

I hope he is doing well and her.....not so much.


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## Hurthusband77 (May 9, 2021)

I had feelings a few times over our marriage that my wife was / had cheated. I had snooped her phone and email a few times but never found anything.

One day, I was home alone with my son and decided to snoop her email on her tablet. I didn’t have any real reason to look, I just had a feeling and started to snoop. I wasn’t really expecting to find anything but to my surprise, the did, found a smoking gun. There were only 2 emails to the AP but the 1st one I read had more than enough to confirm that she had cheated. Worst day of my life.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

ConanHub said:


> 😡😡😡
> 
> I hope he is doing well and her.....not so much.


He was totally devastated....He had no idea...It was going on for at least a yr and a half....I should post Arty's story.. He went scorched earth in a big way...


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ex. Wanted a divorce, I told my story here. Immediately about ten people said cheating.
I google searched a couple of usernames I knew she liked….. boom. 
she got her divorce.

a couple of months ago my oldest boy (who discovered her cheating before I did), told me she told him that I divorced HER or we might still be together……. (We rarely if ever discuss any of that, kinda came out of the blue)….

am she had a whole string of guys online. Lol


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## Chillidog (Nov 5, 2020)

Came across a facebook search for her ex boyfriend still in her browser search history from 3 years prior.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

First husband was a gut feeling and phone records. This was the early days of texting and our plan covered some limited amount of messages. He went over that, when asked he said he was texting guys at work (he was a SAHD who only worked seasonally P/T on weekends). Like a chump I upped our monthly plan for him so he could text more without a second thought, even though money was tight because I was the only one with a steady income. When he went over the increased plan the next month I looked at the phone bill detail. Same number over and over for months including at 2am, didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. The next morning after our kids had gone to school I asked “do you want to do this now?” holding the print outs of the last five months of bills with all the texts and calls highlighted. He tried a few lies while I just stared at him, until he finally confessed. Boy, I wish I had remained as badass calm in the aftermath as I was in that moment.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> He was totally devastated....He had no idea...It was going on for at least a yr and a half....I should post Arty's story.. He went scorched earth in a big way...


After what I found out as an adult, what my mother did to my father in 1973 and how she has been since then, is why I have the no mercy, no forgiveness, nuke from orbit mindset I have.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Don’t know ….. that day has never arrived in my life and I hope it never does. Humans are humans though and amongst the species there are no absolutes. Your best bet is to pick and choose as best you can and carry on with full faith….. until reasons otherwise.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Don’t know ….. that day has never arrived in my life and I hope it never does. Humans are humans though and amongst the species there are no absolutes. Your best bet is to pick and choose as best you can and carry on with full faith….. until reasons otherwise.


It is character that counts. Everything, for everything.


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## GoldenR (Jan 6, 2019)

AP was pressuring her to leave me. She was playing him, saying soon soon soon. 

My XWW never had her own email address. She didn't want one. Anytime she needed to use an email address she used mine. One time at his place she was complaining that she was sure she had payed a bill but she couldn't find proof. She told him how the receipt would be in my email. He then convinced her to change her email address on all her accounts to his email address

Over about a half hour period I got quite a few notifications that the email address on her accounts were changing to "[email protected]"

I recognized the name, knew who he was (a co-worker) . And all of a sudden sooooo much made sense.


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## GoldenR (Jan 6, 2019)

The results added = 145.5%

Wtf?


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## EastCoastNative (4 mo ago)

GoldenR said:


> The results added = 145.5%
> 
> Wtf?


I had to look twice too but it's because multiple votes are allowed


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

@Jimi007 You left off the wayward confessing.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Gut feeling. Joined this site expressed what I knew. Got advice what to look for as well as “eyes open mouth shut”. Searched the house and found lingerie I had never seen before in the closet of one of the guest bedrooms. Went to her company’s open house she did not invite me to.......BUSTED her with POSOM......


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Gut feeling. Joined this site expressed what I knew. Got advice what to look for as well as “eyes open mouth shut”. Searched the house and found lingerie I had never seen before in the closet of one of the guest bedrooms. Went to her company’s open house she did not invite me to.......BUSTED her with POSOM......


I hope you Marined up and brought the pain!


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

BootsAndJeans said:


> I hope you Marined up and brought the pain!


Well.....lets say she did not know what hit her and POSOM was “sun Tzu’ed“ by this ol E-5.
I rained hell down on each of them. My approach is what allowed for reconciliation.


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## BootsAndJeans (4 mo ago)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Well.....lets say she did not know what hit her and POSOM was “sun Tzu’ed“ by this ol E-5.
> I rained hell down on each of them. My approach is what allowed for reconciliation.


H3ll yeah. .. oorah


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Hurthusband77 said:


> _*I had feelings a few times over our marriage that my wife was / had cheated. I had snooped her phone and email a few times but never found anything.*_
> 
> *One day, I was home alone with my son and decided to snoop her email on her tablet. I didn’t have any real reason to look, I just had a feeling and started to snoop. I wasn’t really expecting to find anything but to my surprise, the did, found a smoking gun. There were only 2 emails to the AP but the 1st one I read had more than enough to confirm that she had cheated. Worst day of my life.*


Are you actually still with her? I ask because you're not calling her your ex-wife. 😬

In either event, I'm sorry you had to deal with that.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Years ago on an infidelity board I used to read, there was a guy who was long past dealing with his own infidelity issue, but had hung around the board to help others. To make things easy, I'm going to call him "Hank." One day for whatever reason, members were discussing what had brought them to the board initially, and Hank had quite the story to tell.

Several years before, Hank had found out his wife was having an affair with some married guy from work, so Hank found out the number of the married guy's wife and immediately contacted her to let her know what was going on.

Of course, both Hank's cheating wife and her married boyfriend were working overtime to get back in the good graces of their respective betrayed spouses and were desperate to avoid getting dragged into divorce court. Hank stayed in touch with the betrayed wife so they could compare notes as more and more trickle truths came out of both cheaters because it was hard to decipher what was truth and what was a lie.

Eventually, Hank and the betrayed wife became closer and closer - until they ended up having a full-blown affair of their own - while their cheating spouses cried the blues and got a good taste of their _own_ medicine. Both Hank and the betrayed wife filed for divorce from their cheaters and ended up marrying each other a couple of years later.

Not surprisingly, Hank's wife didn't end up with her married boyfriend once they were both single and free to mingle. Go figure.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I was on a business trip a couple of weeks before my 40th birthday party was going to happen. We weren't getting many RSVPs yet, which were going to her email address.

So I went into her email to see if we got more RSVPs, while away on the trip.

That's when I saw the damning email exchange between her and OM.

If I'm being completely honest with myself, I had some weird feelings about them in the past, and would occasionally snoop around. The RSVP check was legit, but I also looked to see if he had sent her any emails while I was in there.

Of course, I was lambasted for snooping in her email, and was completely unaware of TAM at the time. Did everything wrong. But had I not done that, I never would have caught it, or, it would have been too late to rescue. It was still early, thankfully.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Gabriel said:


> I was on a business trip a couple of weeks before my 40th birthday party was going to happen. We weren't getting many RSVPs yet, which were going to her email address.
> 
> So I went into her email to see if we got more RSVPs, while away on the trip.
> 
> ...


Was it a PA ? Did you stay with her ?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Gabriel said:


> I was on a business trip a couple of weeks before my 40th birthday party was going to happen. We weren't getting many RSVPs yet, which were going to her email address.
> 
> So I went into her email to see if we got more RSVPs, while away on the trip.
> 
> ...


I've read your story and it is quite amazing and informative. A good reconciliation story. Now that you are 10+ years past Dday, how are things with your and your wife?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Gut feeling--->text messeges--->video--->arrest----->prison---->divorce. 

All in about 14 months.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I've read your story and it is quite amazing and informative. A good reconciliation story. Now that you are 10+ years past Dday, how are things with your and your wife?


Thanks. I'd give our marriage a B right now. It's good, not great. We are honestly fairly co-dependent, but treating each other well enough.

We've gotten to the point of our lives where we moved to the city where we really enjoy ourselves, and are aligned. We have a couple of lingering adults living with us which causes some stress in our relationship still, but we have a lot of fun together.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Jimi007 said:


> Was it a PA ? Did you stay with her ?


Not a PA. Yes. We had been married 16 years. Now 27.

It wasn't out of the blue either. She was very communicative with me about what I wasn't providing in our marriage for a long time, and I didn't change, so she started talking to her friend about it. Feelings developed, but they hadn't gotten physical yet when I caught it.


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## MovingFrwrd (Dec 22, 2015)

I was pretty well blindsided since I was way too trusting. Accidentally found text messages letting me know something off, and later I used a program to recover deleted messages and phone calls from her phone's backup-file which showed everything I didn't want to but needed to know.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Noticed OM and WS were communicating a lot. Decided to look at the phone history. She was talking to the OM constantly more than myself, her mother, and kid combined. Broke it up before it got physical found out that they had just gotten to the point of meeting in public on "accident".


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## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

By sheer chance. I think she mentioned the OM one too many times because she felt sorry for me for having cheated with so many dudes for so long. She wanted to get caught. I mean, when she found out I was onto her she did try backtracking but it was already too late.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

BoSlander said:


> By sheer chance. I think she mentioned the OM one too many times because she felt sorry for me for having cheated with so many dudes for so long. She wanted to get caught. I mean, when she found out I was onto her she did try backtracking but it was already too late.


Did your STBX ever admit to anything? Also, do you have proof there were other men or is it just a deep suspicion. I remember she tried to cry and threaten to cut herself when you caught her. Did she eventually come clean?


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## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

Gabriel said:


> Did your STBX ever admit to anything? Also, do you have proof there were other men or is it just a deep suspicion. I remember she tried to cry and threaten to cut herself when you caught her. Did she eventually come clean?


Nope. She still contends that it was all “mildly playful” but never adultery. I mean, I literally heard her last fling saying to me, to my face, that he was getting blow jobs from her every other day and that she used to kiss me with the same mouth he had just creampied 10 minutes earlier. Her ex is a dead giveaway from the texts I was able to extract out of her old flip phones. There’s sexual stuff going on that denote plenty of sexual encounters. And then there’s her ONS…

She’s going back to work after New Year’s, so that’s when I am going to press the issue.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

BoSlander said:


> Nope. She still contends that it was all “mildly playful” but never adultery. I mean, I literally heard her last fling saying to me, to my face, that he was getting blow jobs from her every other day and that she used to kiss me with the same mouth he had just creampied 10 minutes earlier. Her ex is a dead giveaway from the texts I was able to extract out of her old flip phones. There’s sexual stuff going on that denote plenty of sexual encounters. And then there’s her ONS…
> 
> She’s going back to work after New Year’s, so that’s when I am going to press the issue.


That guy said that to you directly? Jesus.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

I am embarrassed to admit I was oblivious. Our teenage daughter found texts and online event ticket purchases when he was supposed to be somewhere else, that was the beginning of the end.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

BootsAndJeans said:


> H3ll yeah. .. oorah


Improvise Adapt Overcome


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

MovingFrwrd said:


> I was pretty well blindsided since I was way too trusting. Accidentally found text messages letting me know something off, and later I used a program to recover deleted messages and phone calls from her phone's backup-file which showed everything I didn't want to but needed to know.


And you handled your situation admirably sir. I hope you all are thriving now.


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

Mine happened way back before cell phones. She was acting out of sorts, then I snooped and found some incriminating e-mails. Then one day I switched cars with a friend and followed her to his lair and busted them.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Jimi007 said:


> About 6 months ago my best friend found a burner phone in his wife's shoe , in the closet after she arrived home from a business trip. He discovered her affair because she didn't silence the notifications / put the phone on silent.
> 
> If not for the BP he would have never known . 38yr marriage ( yes it was her boss )
> 
> How did you find out ?


How sad, she must have been coming up for retirement as well. He must be devastated.


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## mickybill (Nov 29, 2016)

I was waiting for her in the car when she ran into Border's to get something. Her phone was on the passenger seat and it rang with a odd area code. I hit answer and a man's voice said "Good morning gorgeous, how's your day?" I said fine how's yours...Click. I then went into detective mode for a couple days, saw that there were many calls every day. Asked her about it, she made up a story...blah blah blah.


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## Rmac2180 (1 mo ago)

Wonder if I can get some perspective:
I have had a gut feeling for a couple years but no concrete proof. I have stated it, to denial(always with eyes darting around) and now if the feeling ever returns(about the past event) my wife owns a biz, I was main bread earner and was docked over and fired. I handled this poorly and we almost lost our house. My wife’s biz was growing and she was paid thousands by a single dad to set up a party for his daughter. I was present at the party breakdown and got the vibe the minute I walked in. He was rich, older and I was unemployed(technically) and in a funk. Anytime it has been brought up she always says “he’s an asshole.” Which I find strange. Also, he would text her (once a year about party for his daughter ) but always after 9 pm or even 10:30. She wouldn’t respond in the moment “until normal biz hours” she would say. I am losing my mind over the fact that this is intuition or my own shadow/trauma threatening to do damage to my relationship. I get this feeling that if I bring it up one more time I can get the truth. But always denial. Any insight or perspective would be appreciated. I want to trust her but this won’t leave my awareness. It’s been 2.5 yrs and I can’t drop the feeling…


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> How sad, she must have been coming up for retirement as well. He must be devastated.


Yes he was / is devastated 😢 💔 
His D is almost finished. I should post his story, maybe ot could help someone else going thru it


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

STBX’s best friend’s ex-wife called and told me. She divorced due to the best friend cheating on her (again) 2 years prior. I’m thankful she finally found out because a LOT of people knew and said nothing. “None of their business” they said.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Rmac2180 said:


> Wonder if I can get some perspective:
> I have had a gut feeling for a couple years but no concrete proof. I have stated it, to denial(always with eyes darting around) and now if the feeling ever returns(about the past event) my wife owns a biz, I was main bread earner and was docked over and fired. I handled this poorly and we almost lost our house. My wife’s biz was growing and she was paid thousands by a single dad to set up a party for his daughter. I was present at the party breakdown and got the vibe the minute I walked in. He was rich, older and I was unemployed(technically) and in a funk. Anytime it has been brought up she always says “he’s an asshole.” Which I find strange. Also, he would text her (once a year about party for his daughter ) but always after 9 pm or even 10:30. She wouldn’t respond in the moment “until normal biz hours” she would say. I am losing my mind over the fact that this is intuition or my own shadow/trauma threatening to do damage to my relationship. I get this feeling that if I bring it up one more time I can get the truth. But always denial. Any insight or perspective would be appreciated. I want to trust her but this won’t leave my awareness. It’s been 2.5 yrs and I can’t drop the feeling…


The absolute worst thing you can do … is exactly what you are doing. Every cheater on the face of the earth will deny. The more you talk about it the better they will hide it. If you haven’t done something as simple as check her phone bill than the truth is you probably just don’t want the truth.


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## cocolo2019 (Aug 21, 2019)

Rmac2180 said:


> Wonder if I can get some perspective:
> I have had a gut feeling for a couple years but no concrete proof. I have stated it, to denial(always with eyes darting around) and now if the feeling ever returns(about the past event) my wife owns a biz, I was main bread earner and was docked over and fired. I handled this poorly and we almost lost our house. My wife’s biz was growing and she was paid thousands by a single dad to set up a party for his daughter. I was present at the party breakdown and got the vibe the minute I walked in. He was rich, older and I was unemployed(technically) and in a funk. Anytime it has been brought up she always says “he’s an asshole.” Which I find strange. Also, he would text her (once a year about party for his daughter ) but always after 9 pm or even 10:30. She wouldn’t respond in the moment “until normal biz hours” she would say. I am losing my mind over the fact that this is intuition or my own shadow/trauma threatening to do damage to my relationship. I get this feeling that if I bring it up one more time I can get the truth. But always denial. Any insight or perspective would be appreciated. I want to trust her but this won’t leave my awareness. It’s been 2.5 yrs and I can’t drop the feeling…


OP, I recommend you open a new thread and follow the instructions, letter by the letter, from the veterans here. If something happened, I can guarantee you will find out. But first, mouth shut and put your poker-face hat on.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

Rmac2180 said:


> Wonder if I can get some perspective:
> I have had a gut feeling for a couple years but no concrete proof. I have stated it, to denial(always with eyes darting around) and now if the feeling ever returns(about the past event) my wife owns a biz, I was main bread earner and was docked over and fired. I handled this poorly and we almost lost our house. My wife’s biz was growing and she was paid thousands by a single dad to set up a party for his daughter. I was present at the party breakdown and got the vibe the minute I walked in. He was rich, older and I was unemployed(technically) and in a funk. Anytime it has been brought up she always says “he’s an asshole.” Which I find strange. Also, he would text her (once a year about party for his daughter ) but always after 9 pm or even 10:30. She wouldn’t respond in the moment “until normal biz hours” she would say. I am losing my mind over the fact that this is intuition or my own shadow/trauma threatening to do damage to my relationship. I get this feeling that if I bring it up one more time I can get the truth. But always denial. Any insight or perspective would be appreciated. I want to trust her but this won’t leave my awareness. It’s been 2.5 yrs and I can’t drop the feeling…


Why on earth would you or anyone inquire of the suspected cheater. Do you expect the truth? Shut up and start investigating.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

First wife, I started keeping track of her nights out for 6 months(112/180). Nice, eh? We had two toddlers, one disabled, and I was, virtually, raising them alone.
Found her journal and there it was: " I,want to stop my destructive habits: smoking, drinking, sex with strangers ".
Second wife started assenting herself at night , also. She got super nasty. Started a lot of fights over nothing.
This time there was the internet. I got a lot of suggestions. Got my PI friend to investigate. He busted her right away.
She came home at 8 or so one morning.,Out all night. Claimed she fell asleep at her girlfriend's. 
She had lost her wallet. Nastily, she asked if Imhad seen it.
I inquired if she had been anywhere other than her friend's house as she might have dropped it there. Again, she was nasty and gave me an angry " No, I told you Imwas only at Jody's".
So, I casually asked if she thought she might look for it at 7322 Third Ave, South in Richfield ( the OM'address mu friend had followed her to and verified she had spent the night).

Her initial reaction was shock, deer in the headlights. 
Remarkably, she gathered her thoughts, and then became indignant that she had been followed. 
The incredible temerity to be completely busted yet summon up,righteous indignation. Just remarkable.


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## Rmac2180 (1 mo ago)

cocolo2019 said:


> OP, I recommend you open a new thread and follow the instructions, letter by the letter, from the veterans here. If something happened, I can guarantee you will find out. But first, mouth shut and put your poker-face hat on.



How do I start a new thread, sorry.


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

At the top of this page, click on the link “Coping with Infidelity”. Then click the button in the upper right of the page labeled “Create Post”


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Years ago on an infidelity board I used to read, there was a guy who was long past dealing with his own infidelity issue, but had hung around the board to help others. To make things easy, I'm going to call him "Hank." One day for whatever reason, members were discussing what had brought them to the board initially, and Hank had quite the story to tell.
> 
> Several years before, Hank had found out his wife was having an affair with some married guy from work, so Hank found out the number of the married guy's wife and immediately contacted her to let her know what was going on.
> 
> ...


 *I love a happy ending.*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She told me she was going to have an affair, but as she had told me in advance, well... that wouldn't be cheating, would it?

We are now in our thirty-third year together, but it's not always been easy.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> She told me she was going to have an affair, but as she had told me in advance, well... that wouldn't be cheating, would it?
> 
> We are now in our thirty-third year together, but it's not always been easy.


You have quite the unique infidelity story. How long did your wife stray?


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Started with gut feelings, less sex, and too frequent late GNOs, but one small event really tipped me off to start digging hard. We were sitting in our back yard listening to music on her phone on a speaker that you had to leave your phone plugged in to. The speaker was sitting on a counter above our patio fridge. I went over to get a beer out of the fridge, and skipped the song while I was there. She apparently didn't know you could skip songs without unlocking the phone, and her reaction told me I should be checking her phone. I spotted the unlock code a few days later by looking over her shoulder, and started checking it when I had chances. She came home from the gym one morning a few days later, and I found her phone under the seat in her locked car while she was showering for work. She had locked the screen with an IM app up where she and Sancho were professing their love for each other.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You have quite the unique infidelity story. How long did your wife stray?


I think it was a week or so. Maybe a month? I blocked it out, to be honest.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

MattMatt said:


> I think it was a week or so. Maybe a month? I blocked it out, to be honest.


Absolutely don't blame you for not wanting to remember. Had to be hard pretty much stuck watching it unfold.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

My ex simply left the light on in the bedroom too long. She didn’t close the door. Gut told me to go up there. I did. Pulled covers down and she was naked. The rest is history.


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## Sierralyn20 (Dec 4, 2020)

I'd had suspicions for a while but my ex husband vehemently denied everything. He was asleep one night and his phone pinged. I unlocked it and chatted with the OW #1 skunk for an uncomfortable, painful hour biting my tongue and being composed while pretending to be him attempting to schedule another rendezvous.

Boy, did she sing. She even sent their nasty pictures together reminiscent of their good times. Still not sure if she knew it wasn't him and just felt like blowing up his marriage. 

6 months later, I caught him again (voice activated recorder placed in his car) arguing with OW #2 about OW#1. He was professing his love and begging not be dumped by OW#2. A 2 hour argument between the two lovers. Boy, did they both sing!!

I filed for divorce immediately.


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## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

Sierralyn20 said:


> I'd had suspicions for a while but my ex husband vehemently denied everything. He was asleep one night and his phone pinged. I unlocked it and chatted with the OW #1 skunk for an uncomfortable, painful hour biting my tongue and being composed while pretending to be him attempting to schedule another rendezvous.
> 
> Boy, did she sing. She even sent their nasty pictures together reminiscent of their good times. Still not sure if she knew it wasn't him and just felt like blowing up his marriage.
> 
> ...


6 months later? You hung around?


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## Sierralyn20 (Dec 4, 2020)

Megaforce said:


> 6 months later? You hung around?


I was in denial and in complete shock. Sat my bottom in marriage counseling with my ex, attempting to "fix" the marriage. Then he got very violent and broke my arm after I filed.


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## MovingFrwrd (Dec 22, 2015)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> And you handled your situation admirably sir. I hope you all are thriving now.


Thank you! Life has been far better the past few years, I feel we've turned a corner and have been walking together with the same goals again. Now I've gotta focus on getting my cholesterol down. When did I get old? lol.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Lol. I turned 60. All my football injuries have come back to haunt me. Ankles and knees hate cold weather.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

BootsAndJeans said:


> After what I found out as an adult, what my mother did to my father in 1973 and how she has been since then, is why I have the no mercy, no forgiveness, nuke from orbit mindset I have.


Do you still talk to your mom? I have a feeling I would ghost her for that, she would be dead to me. I know of one guy, as teen, he caught his mom cheating and never spoke to her again. Would not even go see her in the hospital 20-30 yrs later on her death bed as she was already dead to him.


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