# I am thinking of a separation after 23 years of marriage



## Yennee2808 (Jun 9, 2020)

I have tried to forgive him after his infidelity but eventually afterwards, I found he has been lying although I put all my trust in him. He abused me psychologically, was blaming me and even hit me several times. I stayed with him 23 years but I have realised that I deserve to be treated better. I have realised that the fear of uncertainty will always be there as trust has been broken. I thought of marriage being till death do us part but I was blind. I stayed mainly because of my two children but now they are grown ups. What would you do in my place?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Run!
Get a lawyer and seek out a group for abused women (he hit you!).
have you a job? Are your financially independent?
Start working on an exit plan.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

This seems like the easiest question I have ever seen on TAM


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

See a lawyer now and figure out what you need to do to get your ducks in a row before telling your husband you plan to leave him. He sounds very manipulative so make sure to make copies of all financial documents so no money will "disappear" after you ask him for the divorce. Make sure to separate your own private papers, ie. social security card, insurance papers, etc so he can't steal them. I'm sure the lawyer will have lots more to tell you. 

As for whether you should leave him...I can easily say without any hesitation that you should. You have many more years left...don't waste them with him, please.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Hitters are most dangerous when you go to leave. Contact a violence center and check out what resources you have. Talk to a lawyer. And YES you do deserve better. No one deserves to be hit or cheated on.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

When I got out, I had been married twice as long as you. Was it easy? No, but it was worth it.

Go.


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