# How What



## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

Short history my wife was a run away in December of this year. Had a PA going on and moved in with the OW. I got on TAM took the advise of the pros here. Started the 180 and filed for a divorce two days later. I have been in IC and have started working on me. I have had little to say to WW however she as started calling me ever morning on her way to work. I will not talk to her about anything except our 19 year daughter. STBXW has never shown any remorse nor believe she has any fault. Why is she calling and how do I deal with this new phase. I think the affair fog may be lifting somewhat but an affair was a deal beaker for me. Looking for a wise way to let her know I am not interested in talking with her anymore.


----------



## Goofball (Mar 24, 2013)

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, I would simply not accept the calls anymore if it was me. If you have to, only respond to text messages if they pertain to your daughter.


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

You caould also simply text her saying "Please do not contact me unless it is about our daughter or financial issues related to our divorce"


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Why is she calling? Maybe the grass wasn't so much greener after all and she's keeping tabs on her back up plan(you).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Ignore the call. Or answer it. Nothing to read there whatsoever, a phone call doesn't necessarily mean anything is up.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Tell you STBXW straight up, 

"Since (daughter's name) is AN ADULT, the ONLY thing you and I have to discuss is if (daughter's name) has a problem physically, emotionally, mentally or financially. I will remain active in (daughter's name)'s life by interacting DIRECTLY WITH HER. YOU AND I ARE DONE. I will be civil, but I will not be 'friends' with you. 

If this is NOT perfectly clear to you *right now*, please let me know because this is the ONE AND ONLY TIME I will be discussing this with you."

The next time she calls you about ANYTHING ELSE, interrupt the story as soon as you realize it's NOT about your daughter and say, "HOW does this pertain to (daughter's name)? It DOESN'T; I'm not having this discussion." Then hang up.

Repeat as necessary.


----------



## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

Thanks for the thoughts I do not want to talk to her any more.
She is just using our daughter as a way to keep tabs on me. I was less than friendly when I talked to her Monday. I will not be plan B OM can man up and take care of her. I feel very good about the fact that the two of them deserve each other a match made in heaven I am positive.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Arked: Tell her that when she calls next. Or, if you're far better with the "pen and paper," as I often am, then just send her a "Dear Jane email" requesting that she not ever call you again, and that you will ignore any such calls from her in the future!

Sorry that you're going through this, brother ~ but welcome to TAM!


----------

