# How do I fix marriage via email (hubby on 4m tour)



## scottishgirl (Mar 14, 2013)

I am new to forum and this is my first post but I have been reading posts in the 'reconcilliation' looking for advice - 

My hubby told me the 'i love you but not in love with you' back in Oct 2012 two weeks after i gave birth to baby No3, i was devestated as oh had always been so loving and caring for the past 16y. 
I asked him to move out and he did but i could tell he was hating living back in a one room back in the barracks and he was due to go on a 4 month tour in Jan. I met up with him to go to mc (he did not want it but wanted someone to tell him how he could break the news to the kids) he only lasted 5 mins in the meeting and walked out, he was in a state and i asked him if he wanted to move back in for Christmas/New year which he did, he said he was going out himself for NY we had always spent it together, i went to my parents and after NY went home again it was like having my hubby back again, he was flirting with me and we ended up talking and he said he wanted to come back home but didnt say he loved me we 'got back together' but still have not slept togther for 8months and there was no affection from him. 
Saying goodbye he didnt say he loved me but did give me a kiss........so it has been 8 weeks and we been emailing i will write long emails about how kids are doing and he sends a few lines back, a few days ago it was our 11y wedding anniversary and he didnt even write to me and mention it so i sent a really long email talking about us, our wedding and my hopes for the future but he didnt respond only when i sent another email saying how our dd was doing at school did he resond to that....i feel really angry and have not wrote for a few days dont know what to do....any ideas? should stop writing to see if he misses me or keep up the friendly comms????


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Hi scottishgirl
Yes if I was you I would stop emailing him so much and cut right back on the relationship talk. He sounds confused to me. He needs to have a chance to miss you and sending him lengthy emails about your feelings all the time isn't going to achieve this.
Don't be first to initiate and wait until he emails you before you respond. Keep it to the point, talk about the children and sign off. I know it's difficult but you really need to try.
Get yourself a journal and pour All your emotions into that, or write him letters but don't send them. Keep them for yourself.
Just quit the relationship and feelings talk for a while and see how it goes

Is there a chance there is someone else involved?
Regardless, pull back, concentrate on yourself and the kids and just leave him be for a while.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ostera (Nov 1, 2012)

OP, let him miss you. If you are smothering him with emotional emails he may be pulling back.. give him time to 'think' about what he has adn could possibly lose.


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## scottishgirl (Mar 14, 2013)

I am not sure about ow I did think he was haing an ea as he works with a lot of woman in his job but my jealousy was one of the reasons he said he wanted to break up with me so i didnt want to ask him too much about it once we had split up. 

I have been trying to stop contacting him but normally only last a few days at most, i also skype with the kids twice a week but i guess i need to stop that too.

I was okay for the first 8 weeks he was gone, coping with kids convincing myself that i could be a single mum to 3 kids if the worse came to be but also felt good that everything would work out when he got back but now that it's counting down 8 weeks till he is back I am feeling very anxious again esp as he emails back less maybe he is anxious too?


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