# Second thoughts about marrying lower libido woman



## iliketohike (Sep 21, 2017)

I could really use some help and advice here. I am a 44 year old long time divorced man. I have the most wonderful Fiance'. We have dated for a little over 2 years. I am a business owner and she is an engineer. She is quite a bit younger than I am at 27 but we get along very well. I have never met another woman who I had so much in common. She is good to my 3 teenage children and they lover her. I am truly in love with this woman. We get along great and never fight except for one thing...sex; and this we fight a lot about.

We met three years ago while she was in graduate business school and I was giving a lecture. We became friends and that friendship blossomed. She is originally from Indonesia. Her parents still live there and while she is hardly a devout Muslim; they are. I have already resigned myself to the reality that in order to marry this woman I need to convince her parents that I have converted and I am OK with this and they seem to be OK with me.

OK so here is the problem, I have a higher than normal sex drive. I suffered with Low-T throughout my twenties and early thirties until I was diagnosed and began low dose testosterone therapy maybe 10 years ago. This may be part of the reason that my libido has always been high at least for the last 10 years. I am not a sex maniac but in a perfect world I would have sex every day, in a good world I would have sex 3x per week. other than this, I see myself as normal. I am not a kinky type of guy. I love sex. I love foreplay. I love giving and receiving oral but probably enjoy giving more than receiving as it makes the whole sexual experience more exciting, playful, and fun.

My fiance on the other hand would likely be happy with sex 1x per week. She does not like foreplay. She does not like receiving oral at all. She will give me oral for maybe 30 seconds and then says "just stick it in". She does not like me to touch her private parts with my fingers and when I do, she does not like me to use those hands to touch her face as she says it is gross. She does not allow me to use saliva to lube myself in between a position change because she says saliva is gross. She has never had an orgasm in her life either through sex or through masturbation.

She is aware that her drive is lower than mine and she does try. Sometimes she is genuinely horny and is really in to the sex. She has a little kinky side to her and likes it when I tie her hands up and dominate her and am a little bit rough (not abusive). This is not my kink, but I do not mind indulging this for her and actually enjoy these encounters. Most of the time though it is obvious that she is "allowing" me to have sex with her. When we discussed this recently she told me "sometimes when I turn you down for sex its because I know you got sex from me yesterday and I feel that you don't need it two days in a row and I plan to let you have sex with me tomorrow".

She says to me that she has never really been "into" sex. She has had lovers in the past and she says that with them it was the same, she was just never really that sexual of a person. She keeps saying she will try to improve. She says that she will try to remember to have more sex with me or she will try to schedule days to have sex with me. She says she will try to work on her squeamishness as well. While I appreciate her efforts and I see that she is genuinely trying, I can not help this nagging feeling that we are not sexually compatible and while I love her with all my heart, a lifetime of this level of intimacy may be challenging for me.

Lately she confided to me that part of the reason she may be the way she is is that deep down inside she feels guilty about having sex. While she enjoys it very much, she feels that she is being sinful and that someday she will likely be punished for it. She tells me that she thinks that after we get married she will feel no guilt for having sex and will then be able to really open up. She said that the reason she has never had an orgasm is that she feels that even masturbation is a sin and while she does masturbate often, she can never reach orgasm because she knows what she is doing is wrong.

So, I am lost. I do love this woman very much. The anecdotal research that I have done has led me to believe that if her baseline appetite for sex is 3x per month today (once per week except while on her period) 2 years after marriage it is far more likely to go down than it is to go up especially if we decide to have children.

I welcome any advice on this matter.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

she is lying. Once you get married it will decline even further. Don’t you think you deserve to be with someone who loves you to do something about your happiness?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

You're on a train heading for a cliff. As WoM said--it WILL get worse with children. If you're already unhappy with how things are, you're going to be in a world of hurt later on.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

iliketohike said:


> So, I am lost. I do love this woman very much. The anecdotal research that I have done has led me to believe that if her baseline appetite for sex is 3x per month today (once per week except while on her period) 2 years after marriage it is far more likely to go down than it is to go up especially if we decide to have children.


It's probably more likely that she's only showing interest to your advances 3x/month. I would guess that if you didn't initiate, it would be more like 1x or 0x/month. It will only get worse after marriage, and even worse than that after kids. Right now she's more willing to go along with your advances because you're dating, but that will likely decline after marriage. Once she has the security of marriage, expect her to push back more often. 

How did your first marriage end? How much dating did you do? From the dating threads, it sounds like you would be a good catch and be able to meet a lot of women. Is there a reason you are hooked on this woman rather than wanting to look around more? There are two big red flags here (low drive and different culture) that indicate it will be harder to have long-term success.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

She has told you straight up that she is not a very sexual person. And you have seen this for yourself. She is not going to change.

Do you love her enough to marry her if the sex you have now will never get any better or more frequent? That's the choice you are faced with.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

First off - good for recognizing a possible problem down the road. 

It will be a problem that comes up during your entire marriage if you go through with it. 

It will very likely get worse and you'd have a very slim chance of it getting better. 

There are many women who have more of a need for sex. Dating is finding out if you're compatible with your needs and wants. If you aren't, move on to someone who is. It's not fair to either of you if you ignore your needs and try to settle without them.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

iliketohike said:


> 1} Sometimes she is genuinely horny and is really in to the sex. She has a little kinky side to her and likes it when I tie her hands up and dominate her and am a little bit rough (not abusive).
> 
> 2} Lately she confided to me that part of the reason she may be the way she is is that deep down inside she feels guilty about having sex. While she enjoys it very much, she feels that she is being sinful and that someday she will likely be punished for it. She tells me that she thinks that after we get married she will feel no guilt for having sex and will then be able to really open up. She said that the reason she has never had an orgasm is that she feels that even masturbation is a sin and while she does masturbate often, she can never reach orgasm because she knows what she is doing is wrong.


The two plucked quotes give me hope. How about you?

She liked sex when she was tied up because it was "out of her hands" she was being "forced". Not really, but the thought was there.

On the sex getting better after marriage? I believe her.
Having said that, I would tell her that sex after marriage 'must' get better. And to be more frequent. You 'expect' this to happen.

A women in strict Muslim countries are the property of her husband or her father. They are not sexual creatures, no, they are baby makers [preferably boy babies] and nothing more.

Wow! Converting to Islam...I could not do this. Even giving it lip service. Faking it. I will not comment further.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Please listen to what these good folks are telling you.


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## Yorkie_Lover (Jul 25, 2013)

Go read Sam R. Hamburg's "Will Our Love Last" to determine your compatibility with your fiance. You two are clearly incompatible in the sexual arena and as the other posters have stated, it won't improve after marriage. And you have a cultural incompatibility, likely as well. 

If you are successful as a man, the sea is deep and wide with available women. While it's fun to boink a woman 17 years younger than yourself, when you are in your 40's, 50's or 60's, long-term prospects of staying together are not rosy. You are way more mature and experienced in life than she is. 

Willard Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs" book lays out the usual number one "emotional need" for a man is sex and I think most men will agree. If your not satisfied now with her performance, face it, she's just too much of a priss and you won't be able to change that. 

I know it is hard to decide to let go, fall out of love and move on to find another, but if you don't, it's likely you'll wind up divorced for a second time or stay in a very unfulfilling and frustrating marriage. 

Live is too short for that.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I think you'd be hard pressed to find a single person who would encourage a union under these circumstances. Many of us have been there and it has yet to work out well for anyone.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

I wouldn't be surprised if the sex would be good for a short time right after you get married--perhaps several months to a year. She probably would be more relaxed and would be more eager during this honeymoon period. But I don't expect that to last very long. I expect once the initial excitement wears off, the desire will quickly fade. 

But don't worry! There are thousands of threads here from husbands wondering how to increase the drive of their wives. You will have an unlimited amount of material to educate yourself on the issue. Unfortunately, none of those threads have the answer, but maybe we'll figure it out by the time you're in that situation


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Run, if you don't run see a lawyer and have him draw up an ironclad pre-nup.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

You're not wrong.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Only get married if you will be *happy* even if sex declines significantly from where it is now. Don't expect it to increase, there is no reason to think it will get better than it is now. 

If you are not happy with that, then let her know in the nicest way that it isn't her fault, but that you cannot be happy that way. Don't accept promises of her changing, if she could change, she would have done so already.

No one is served by being in a marriage where you will always resent her.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

The real issue here is why are you so desperate for female attention that you are even dating her let alone even considering marrying her?

I was having a better sex life when I was young puke in high school and shortly there after. Why are you as a fully developed, adult man settling for someone of a completely different culture in which you will never be accepted and whith whom you are so sexually incompatible???

This doesn't add up or make sense. 

I am no Adonis or lady's man or anything, but if I had sex ONCE with some and they refused oral and told me to "...just stuck it in.." There would not even be another date.

The whole purpose of dating is it is an interview and probationary period to spend time with someone and get to know them so that you can determine if they are the right one for you.

If the answer is 'no' then each party can end the probationary period without repurcussion and go back on the market.

This person is clearly not compatible for you in several very critical areas even though you may enjoy the same movies, love for puppies and enjoy philosophical discussions. 

Why do you as a grown man have such a bad case of Oneitis and feel that this person who is clearly not a match for you, is your one last shot at love?

That is the question you need to be addressing and working on.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm not sure what kind of advice you think you'd get other than "don't marry her."

So, I'll throw in my obvious 2 cents.

Don't marry her.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Have to second, third etc that....dont marry her. If sex is that important to you, think in a few years what will happen...maybe once every 3 months, down to once every 6 months. 

How about in 10 years?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

brooklynAnn said:


> Have to second, third etc that....dont marry her. If sex is that important to you, think in a few years what will happen...maybe once every 3 months, down to once every 6 months.
> 
> How about in 10 years?


 That's when the prenup is needed0


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Your title says lower libido woman, but what you described isn't just lower libido. No oral, no foreplay... why are you thinking that a long term relationship is going to work out? It's a serious question. What in you has allowed you to continue and move forward with such a mismatched and sexually unfulfilling relationship?


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Holdingontoit's 2 rules for libido mismatch:
1. Do not marry someone while you have a libido mismatch. It isn't fair to either of you.
2. Do not have kids with someone while you have a libido mismatch. It isn't fair to the kids.

Libido mismatch is more than a good enough reason to dump someone. Sex problems is one of the major reasons people divorce. Why get married when you already have a problem that makes it likely you will end up divorced?

Sex is the one need we vow to rely solely on our partner to satisfy during marriage. If your wife does not like to go bowling, she will probably let you join a bowling league without her. If you hate sushi, you will probably allow her to go to lunch at a sushi restaurant with one of her girlfriends. But if you want sex and she refuses to provide it, most likely she is not going to allow you to get that need met elsewhere.

You are correct that if you break up with her, there will be mismatches with any other woman you date. Absolutely right, there will. But take the advice of every poster on TAM and have that irreconcilable difference be about something OTHER THAN sex. Differ in what kind of music you like or whether you like spicy food or roller coasters or chick flicks. All those distinctions can be accommodated in a happy marriage. Very rarely can substantial libido mismatches be resolved to both partners' satisfaction. Fight about something else.

You will be doing both of you a favor if you break up. She may think she wants to be with you. Well, she might want to be with the version of you that exists today. I promise she is not going to want to be with the version of you that will exist in 5 or 10 years if she continues to reject you sexually. And you won't wan to be with that version of you either. So be smart and prevent that version of you from coming into existence. Break up with her now. Your future self will thank you.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> she is lying. Once you get married it will decline even further. Don’t you think you deserve to be with someone who loves you to do something about your happiness?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


*Count on it: After the "I Do's," and at best, it will get a hell of a lot worse!

If reciprocity, and loving, married sex is what makes you happy, then why on earth would you even entertain marrying someone who has more than proven that she would make your life a living hell! *


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## Spitfire (Jun 6, 2015)

There's an enormous difference between a person who needs sex and one who is willing to have sex.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

iliketohike said:


> She does not allow me to use saliva to lube myself in between a position change because she says saliva is gross. She has never had an orgasm in her life either through sex or through masturbation.
> 
> She is aware that her drive is lower than mine and she does try. Sometimes she is genuinely horny and is really in to the sex. She has a little kinky side to her and likes it when I tie her hands up and dominate her and am a little bit rough (not abusive).


Saliva as a lubricant? ewwwww. Of course she does not like that, buy some friging lube in a bottle!

And what the heck is your problem with bondage. If THAT is what turns her on...you need to become a dungeon master! Make your bedroom a snuggery and give her all the bondage she can take! 

Jeez, this is not rocket science. LISTEN to what her body is telling you


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Does she take any prescription medicines? They could be killing her libido.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> Does she take any prescription medicines? They could be killing her libido.


Really? You think prescription medication is behind the general "sex is gross" vibe?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its not crazy. I saw a study recently where sexual arousal desensitized people to "gross". It is possible that something that killed her libido would also cause her to find sex gross.

That doesn't mean it *is* the case, but investigating medication is not a bad idea. 



Livvie said:


> Really? You think prescription medication is behind the general "sex is gross" vibe?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

uhtred said:


> Its not crazy. I saw a study recently where sexual arousal desensitized people to "gross". It is possible that something that killed her libido would also cause her to find sex gross.
> 
> That doesn't mean it *is* the case, but investigating medication is not a bad idea.
> 
> ...


Re read the OP. This isn't a case of: I'm on a medicine that decreases my libido therefore I have these attitudes about sex. Heck... right after childbirth and with a postpartum infection that required a hospital stay and IV antibiotics, I'd say my libido was ZERO, as low as possible, and even at that point I didn't have the attitudes about sex this woman does.


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## iliketohike (Sep 21, 2017)

Hi everyone. Wow I am amazed at all of the thoughtful responses I have on this post and I thank all of you for taking the time to help me. What an incredible thing we have with technology where people can come together as a community to help people. I am thoroughly impressed. 

Regarding the medication, she is not taking any. 

However there is a piece that I did not include as I did not want anyone to judge her harshly nor get the wrong Idea about her.

Now to begin, neither of us does any kind of drugs at all. It is just not our thing. A couple months ago it was our 2 year anniversary. We went to Vegas. Unknown to me she took a dose of an illicit drug called Molly which is a form of Ecstacy. I asked her why and she said she heard it makes you uninhibited and will make you have great sex. after a few hours she began to act kind of wild and crazy and by the end of the night we spent 3 hours having the most amazing sex of my entire life. I failed to mention this before because its not like she can take Molly all the time nor would I want her to. It does show the lengths she will go to self treat the problem that she admits that she has. Afterwards she said that when on Molly she was so horny and did not care about things being gross. She said it "quieted" the terrible thoughts she had in her head about sex that makes it less enjoyable. 

Anyway, just an extra dimension

Thanks


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

iliketohike said:


> Hi everyone. Wow I am amazed at all of the thoughtful responses I have on this post and I thank all of you for taking the time to help me. What an incredible thing we have with technology where people can come together as a community to help people. I am thoroughly impressed.
> 
> Regarding the medication, she is not taking any.
> 
> ...



Alcohol has been doing the same thing for thousands and thousands of years. 

But I think you are missing the point of what people are trying to say here. 

Yes, she can take some drug (or get drunk on her arse) and have sex with you. But she could also do that with any other dude that happened to be there when she was drunk or stoned. But more importantly read your own words above. Do you really want to be with someone that has to take illicit drugs off the street to make love with you?

Do you want to be with someone that admits a problem with sex to the degree she's buying drugs off some dealer in Vegas? 

Do you want to be with someone that needs illegal drugs so they don't think sex with you is "Gross?"

Do you want to be with someone that has "terrible thoughts she has in her head..." about sex that can only be quieted with illegal, mind-altering chemicals?

Normal, healthy women have sex lives because it's fun, exciting, pleasurable and bonding for them. 

This gal is train wreck.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow she took Molly and didn't even tell you first? That seems so odd.

However, what you do on Molly sexually may not ever transfer to your sober sex life.

Are you willing to do some with her sometime? As a once in awhile sex weekend resposible adult treat, I think it's great fun. If you both actively work to keep alive the fun thoughts and ideas you played with while you were high, then it can transfer into your sex life. It's a deliberate choice though. It has to be developed in normal waking life. If you just let the experience die afterwards without mining your memories for and re-enacting some of it, you will lose it soon enough. But if you talk about and re-do some of your fun Molly playing ideas, you should feel them coming to life.

Also in many people the deep level of love and intimacy they can feel on Molly trumps the sexual feelings. That can open doors later when you are sober too, but you do still have to bring it out in each other and practice it.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm sure the fact that she has to resort to ecstacy to have passionate sex with you does wonders for your ego... 

I'd say the same of anyone who had to drink quantities of alcohol to illicit the same "courage."

That's not a real solution to a problem. Either she doesn't like sex (in which case she should have therapy to deal with that) or - and I'm sorry to be so blunt here - she doesn't like sex with you.

Seriously, do you really feel loved and adored when your SO says that she got DRUGS so she could have a passionate night with you? Ugh...


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

OP,

Do not marry this woman. You sex life is less that great now. After marriage it may pick up a hair for about 6 months, but don't count in it. In fact, you can count on it to drop in half or more. After a child, expect it to drop by half or more again. You could easily find yourself at once a month or less in a very very short time. I would actually bet big money on it.

Throw in cross cultural issues and you could be lucky to get any at all in a year's time. DO NOT DO IT!


And just for the record, a corpse would come to life on X, so I'm not sure how that even adds into the equation. Regardless, if she keeps doing X, she could find herself becoming a corpse as well. Do the right thing and let her go.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

You guys realize that people have been known to die after taking Mollly. This should not be a drug you use for a recreational weekend of fun. 

Find a woman who wants to **** your brains out ...not one that needs to take drugs to do it. That is just plain bad.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

brooklynAnn said:


> You guys realize that people have been known to die after taking Mollly. This should not be a drug you use for a recreational weekend of fun.
> 
> Find a woman who wants to **** your brains out ...not one that needs to take drugs to do it. That is just plain bad.


I wish I could like this a thousand times.


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> The two plucked quotes give me hope. How about you?
> 
> She liked sex when she was tied up because it was "out of her hands" she was being "forced". Not really, but the thought was there.
> 
> ...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Pffft!

Join a rogue offshoot of Mormonism.

That way You, your new Wife and Molly can all have fun together.
....................................................................

How does she do on wine?
Many women get mellow, some receptive.

Ach!.....alcohol, another Muslim taboo?
...................................................................

I would give her a shot at marriage, if everything else about her is good.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

iliketohike said:


> Regarding the medication, she is not taking any.
> 
> However there is a piece that I did not include as I did not want anyone to judge her harshly nor get the wrong Idea about her.
> 
> ...


actuallly that sounds somewhat good news. Obviously taking a strong illegal drug is bad. but she took it WANTING to get over her psychological issues with having sex.
Hmmmm. I wonder what the deal in her mind is. She might truly love you, but just have some reall demons in there that need to be vanquished. maybe past sexual abuse (abuse victims act the way you are saying she is). 

She needs INDEPENDENT COUNSELING. someone trained has to get into that brain and see what is bounding around in there. 

and what do you have to lose?


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

You don't push her buttons. Let her go so she can find somebody that does. You then find a woman who you match better with and you don't have to spend the next 30 years trying to figure out the combination to her lock.


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## Renlec (Nov 7, 2017)

so what have you decided on.
I have been in a relationship for 22 years. Not enough sex. It just gets worse. Listen to what you are being told by all the posters and get out. If you have not already, all I can say is good luck from someone who is living it and it is hard, and it stays hard. It really spoils a lot of the things you do in life because of the constant nagging feelings. I want a [email protected]#k with my beautiful wife who is right there in front of my face driving me nuts. They are just not interested mate, it is not you, it is not something tobe "fixed" its a mismatch. Move on.


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

Yes. She's not "low libido." She's sexual dysfunctional. You aren't going to fix it. Can you visualize a happy life with no sex? And maybe you ought to drop by a local drug rehab and ask them about the long term effects of that drug use. How about brain damage, depression, bizarre behavior, and an array of physical maladies. If she won't get into serious therapy BEFORE marriage, walk away and don't look back.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Maybe she is thinking about when you were 27, she was...10.

I get it, you are midlife and she probably has a young tight bod. Her head isn’t in the game. That’s why she is with you. Cause other guys her age recognize it. Find a grownup and don’t marry someone you are goofing off with.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Given the gap in both age and sex drive, I’ll echo what I’ll assume everyone else has already told you —

Get.

Out.

Now.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

dadstartingover said:


> you don't have to spend the next 30 years trying to figure out the combination to her lock.


It's miserable. Don't do it. Get out now and find a woman whose "lock" is open to you.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

iliketohike said:


> I could really use some help and advice here. I am a 44 year old long time divorced man. I have the most wonderful Fiance'. We have dated for a little over 2 years. I am a business owner and she is an engineer. She is quite a bit younger than I am at 27 but we get along very well. I have never met another woman who I had so much in common. She is good to my 3 teenage children and they lover her. I am truly in love with this woman. We get along great and never fight except for one thing...sex; and this we fight a lot about.
> 
> We met three years ago while she was in graduate business school and I was giving a lecture. We became friends and that friendship blossomed. She is originally from Indonesia. Her parents still live there and while she is hardly a devout Muslim; they are. I have already resigned myself to the reality that in order to marry this woman I need to convince her parents that I have converted and I am OK with this and they seem to be OK with me.
> 
> ...




- My advice is to move on and not marry this woman.


- Once married, her low sex drive will remain the same and drop even more.


- You have the opportunity to move on, so move on and find a woman with a healthy adventurous sex drive like yourself. Lots of them out there today.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

(I am a woman responding.)

After all the years I have read here, and all the posts started by men who are in sex starved marriages, I can only say, DON'T MARRY HER!! (The majority of posts men start about sex are about how unhappy they are because they aren't getting the amount of sex they need to feel satisfied.)

You will be unhappy for the rest of your life. No matter how much you love her, how smart and pretty she is, how good of a cook she is, how good she is to your children, etc. If you aren't having at least 1/2 the sex you would like to have, 
YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. There are men on TAM who are miserable because they only have sex twice a week. There are other men who are miserable because they have sex once a week, or once a month, or once a year, or haven't had sex for more than a year.

The bottom line is: Sex is very important to people who need sex. You need it, she doesn't need it (as much as you do.) Don't minimize your need. Sex is like air. A person needs as much as they need or they feel like they can't breathe.

You will never be able to suppress your sexual desire without a great amount of resentment or frustration.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OP, I am your future self. I had one chance to send a message back in time to fix my, our lives. Don't marry her. Its not her fault, its not your fault, but you will never be happy together.

Oh, and before I go, buy some shares of Zen.......


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

iliketohike said:


> I could really use some help and advice here. I am a 44 year old long time divorced man. I have the most wonderful Fiance'. We have dated for a little over 2 years. I am a business owner and she is an engineer. She is quite a bit younger than I am at 27 but we get along very well. I have never met another woman who I had so much in common. She is good to my 3 teenage children and they lover her. I am truly in love with this woman. We get along great and never fight except for one thing...sex; and this we fight a lot about.
> 
> We met three years ago while she was in graduate business school and I was giving a lecture. We became friends and that friendship blossomed. She is originally from Indonesia. Her parents still live there and while she is hardly a devout Muslim; they are. I have already resigned myself to the reality that in order to marry this woman I need to convince her parents that I have converted and I am OK with this and they seem to be OK with me.
> 
> ...


Run forest run you will be miserable with this sexually stunted woman


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

The best romantic relationships start from a point of uber lustfulness and lots and lots of sex. You want to start from that high-sexualized point, because a relationship inevitably gets familiar and comfortable... and those two things naturally lower the libido. So if you're already starting from a point of "Meh" with your partner, it's just going to get worse.

You're good friends. So what? Doesn't mean you're good romantic partners.


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