# I really need some hope.



## Freya (Jan 15, 2013)

N/A


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

I had to re-read that first sentence. Please tell us again what is so amazing about him.


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## Freya (Jan 15, 2013)

It is rather irrelevant, and should not be of any concern to the board. The thing is I want to fix this, has anyone else had experiance in this, and had help fixing it.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Sorry, because this is not what you want to hear- but I fixed a similar situation with divorce papers


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Freya said:


> It is rather irrelevant, and should not be of any concern to the board. The thing is I want to fix this, has anyone else had experiance in this, and had help fixing it.


It all depends on what your "end-game" (future) is with this man-child. Do you want him to be a self-supporting adult who will be there to protect you and your child? Or do you want to be his new mother? What are you willing to do to get there? Would you be willing to leave him to his mother until he grows up?

You see, it all depends on the "fix" you had in mind. Temporary or Permanent?


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Do you love him? Or do you pity him?

I it's love, focus on those things that you love. Do activities that keep you happy, healthy nod fit. Happy times will start to outweigh sad and as he works on his issues life will slowly get better.

If its pity, then you may need to let go of the relationship. Your pity for him will cause more shame and feed his depression. You will both be stuck in a never ending cycle.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

You are full of excuses for him. You asked if anyone else has had this experience before, yeah and they are mostly women who sit by and take back their cheating husbands again and again and again. Believing all of their bull****. Your story isn't new or unique unless you decide to stand up for yourself and realize you deserve better by leaving him. I'm not saying all women should leave but most stay for all of the wrong reasons (which sounds like your situation) and get cheated on repeatedly.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

You are getting a clear picture of your future if you choose to stay. Is that the life you want for yourself and your daughter? Lies, betrayal, deceit? Just because this guy is slightly better than your last guy doesn't make him amazing. It sounds to me as though you haven't got a very good idea of what constitutes acceptable in people even, let alone amazing. Ditch the guy, torch the 'friendship' (with friends like that, who needs enemies?). Seek councelling at school, there is probably something available on campus at little or no cost. You have to take time to get your self straightened out, improve your self worth, and stop picking or settling for people who take advantage of you. Don't be afraid of being alone, it's better than being abused. You owe it to your daughter to expect more, to not rush into things as huge as a relationship (I mean come on, less than a year, he has cheated twice, his life ambition is to play video games and [email protected], and you think its good to let your daughter attach to him?). You have a daughter! You need to grow up. It's just the harsh reality.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

Freya said:


> broke up with me out of shame and guilt, he said he could not beg for me to take him back as he wasn't worthy. He was so sad he even wanted to commit suicide, he just couldn't deal
> *LIE! He played you and got what he wanted - you to take him back*
> 
> He began to talk about being more depressed then usual, then stressed then about 5 days ago he brough up being suicidal. He was so upset. I became very upset, stressed and sad myself. I was worried that what he did last time would happen again especially since I introduced him to an old friend of mine and he was texting her. (I sneaked and it was never anything sexual just mostly how is your daygoing, good yours, how are the kids. It was like a friendship.) *Lie. His "depression" was him just setting you up again knowing that if you found out what he was doing with this chick he had a built in excuse*
> ...


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## Freya (Jan 15, 2013)

Wow this is just all bitter. Talk about bull**** from people on this forum. I am sorry, but I know my partner is not lieing to me, I am not an idiot. I asked for if someone has been through it not your opinions if he is lieing or telling my how much of an idiot I am. Obviously everyone here is bitter, you do not know my relationship with my partner or anything about him. There are differant types of cheaters, he is not the type you are describing. I am not returning to this site.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Truth hurts


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## ManUp (Nov 25, 2012)

Wow


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## Freya (Jan 15, 2013)

Doesn't make it truth. :/


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Right, you and he are special, unique, just star crossed lovers weathering a rough patch.

And we are all so ****ing bitter and jaded, we have nothing better to do than go online and anonymously mess up other people's precarious relationships for ****s and giggles.

Seriously, not one person on this forum has anything invested in your relationship. You present your story, you get advice from outside observers that is not clouded by feelings, or sunk costs. What you choose to do will have no effect on anyone else here but you. But it will affect you, and your daughter profoundly. If your story is true, then you need help, desperately, because frankly, your decision making with regards to people is failing you. The truth hurts, hiding from it hurts a lot more in the end.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

Freya said:


> Wow this is just all bitter. Talk about bull**** from people on this forum. I am sorry, but I know my partner is not lieing to me, I am not an idiot. I asked for if someone has been through it not your opinions if he is lieing or telling my how much of an idiot I am. Obviously everyone here is bitter, you do not know my relationship with my partner or anything about him. There are differant types of cheaters, he is not the type you are describing. I am not returning to this site.


I never said or thought you were an idiot. I was merely trying to break it down for you from an outside perspective that he is a lying POS. I tried opening your eyes because you are being manipulated. You chose the parts of your story to tell for a reason, because you know they aren't honest but you want to believe him so badly that you hoped coming here you could get affirmation of his good character. You didn't and now you know the reality of the situation and it hurts. You can lash out at me if you want but that anger would be better directed for you to stand up for yourself with your husband.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Soifon said:


> *I never said or thought you were an idiot.* I was merely trying to break it down for you from an outside perspective that he is a lying POS. I tried opening your eyes because you are being manipulated. You chose the parts of your story to tell for a reason, because you know they aren't honest but you want to believe him so badly that you hoped coming here you could get affirmation of his good character. You didn't and now you know the reality of the situation and it hurts. You can lash out at me if you want but that anger would be better directed for you to stand up for yourself with your husband.



I'm not going to say it, but I do think it.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Everybody has their idiotic lapses. Doesn't mean you have to remain idiotic all the time.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Sorry you didn't find the support you were looking for. Not sure if you will see this or not as you don't plan to return. 

You don't have to agree with the responses generated by your post. But don't be so quick to dismiss them. You are correct, there are a lot of bitter hearts here. They are here because they either trusted the wrong people, made mistakes in their life or more likely both. 

There may not be truth in every response, but there is wisdom if you care to look for it. Feel free to argue back and make your point. We are all here to share our stories and learn from each other. 

Hope comes from understanding. No two situations are the same, but by reading others perspectives of how you describe your situation maybe you will begin to understand your situation better. 

No one on this forum will ever have all the information you have, so "jumping to conclusions" will happen. Take what you like and leave the rest.


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