# Is there someone else ???



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

My ex-husband (yes, we're divorced) told me he wants to try to reconcile....

We're living together with our two children.

We had the occasional sex, but otherwise he didn't show any other affection like hugs, kisses, etc.

He was nice and sweet, but no affection.

I have to admit I gave him a real hard time by making accusations about other women (he had an EA) and last week he slept 2 nights in the spare bedroom because of a fight we had about it.....

The days after we got along well....he was talking nicely and all and after a dentist visit and a whole bottle of whine he was drunk one night and tried to have sex with me.....I didn't respond to it and he went to sleep.

The next day he was fine with me, but when I awoke in the middle of the night, I found him in the spare bedroom again...

When I asked him why the next day he said "To avoid things (sex)"....I said "Why ??" and he answered "Because it's not right"....

I'm totally confused....

My first thought is he's found someone else, but why did he want to have sex with me the night before then ???

And why is he so nice and caring all of a sudden...

He tells me when he's leaving to go somewhere (didn't do that before)....he asks me if I want things from the store....he asks if I can eat when he's making lunch for the kids and him (I have a fat cheek from and abscess)....he hangs out by me when I'm on the computer goofing off with the kid or the dog (he used to not even look at me and just walk by)....he looks me in the eyes when he's talking whereas before he would just talk and not waste one look at me.....

All that speaks against another woman, but the sleeping in the spare speaks for it.....

Wouldn't you think if he had someone else, he would also be like pre-divorce (when he had the EA), where he hardly looked at me and was constantly annoyed with me.....

It's all so contradicting.....

What do you think ???

Did any of you had experiences like this before ???


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Had you guys planned for one of you to move out soon (post-divorce)? I imagine being divorced and living together is making things even more confusing. 

If he has someone else, it is best not to sleep with him as you are putting yourself at risk if you do that (for STDs, etc).

Only you can decide whether to give it another go or not. If he has someone else he's involved w/ though currently, I'd caution against giving it your all. The relationship with other people has got to end before you guys can work stuff out.


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## friendly (Sep 21, 2010)

If you don't give love and attention to him, it won't be his fault to look for someone else. You're divorced. There's no such term that call EA after divorced. It's a right thing for him to date and move on.
He's hesitating though because he still cares about you the most.
So, you have to decide.
Just remember you're not husband and wife anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Had you guys planned for one of you to move out soon (post-divorce)? I imagine being divorced and living together is making things even more confusing.
> 
> He wanted me to move out and pay for my apartment, but then felt he *does* still love me and wants to try to reconcile....
> 
> ...


No....that's the problem....it's not my decision....

I would want nothing more than to be with him again....he knows that....

I'm not sure if he wanted to reconcile for real and I messed it up by making these damn accusations, or what.....


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

friendly said:


> If you don't give love and attention to him, it won't be his fault to look for someone else.
> 
> I see your point....I wasn't very lovable when I made these accusations....maybe he felt like I wasn't giving him love and attention....who knows....
> 
> ...


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Aaahh, well....he just left for work without telling me good bye....

I'm not going to chase him anymore...

He thinks he's better off with someone else.....good riddance....

I am done with this whole BS.....

I love him with all my heart, always have and always will.....

I've been trying to analyze his behavior almost all day today, where I should have been doing my homework, tended to my kids and taken care of myself since I'm sick....that's just ridiculous 

I can't change him....I can only change myself.....

And that I will do.....full power from today !!!!!!!

:smthumbup:


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

rome2012 said:


> Aaahh, well....he just left for work without telling me good bye....
> 
> I'm not going to chase him anymore...
> 
> ...


You can do it! Change yourself and get some attention from some other men. He divorced YOU.


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