# Husband’s abusive anger - need input



## DrinkmeAlice (Apr 10, 2021)

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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I came from a house like this, the difference being that it was much, much worse than what you describe. 

The one thing I can tell you is that I understand why women don’t leave. But I don’t understand when women try to tell their kids that their father really does love them. 

Always, always find a way to let your kids know they are loved and that you’re on their side. And never tell them what they should see, or make excuses for him. They will see what they see, and what they feel is what they feel. Your job is to show them how a mother loves her kids. How you do that, is your thing. They may resent you one day more than they resent him, that’s very common. Be ready and accountable when this happens. Unfortunately, the anger is often directed at the mother (or father of the wife was the angry one), it’s a painful reality that the abuser is rarely held accountable and it often falls on the other parent to bear the brunt of the pain. As well as any others who looked away. 

I am very very sorry for what you’re dealing with, it’s awful and I’m on your side. 

And don’t let him break you down, don’t hide your light. Let your light be stronger than his anger, your kids will remember that light more than his anger. The good will always outshine the bad. He can fix his demons himself, you get up and put on your best face and hit that world running.


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## DrinkmeAlice (Apr 10, 2021)

Thank you for your response and kind words! Whatever I decide I will keep trying to be the mom my amazing kids deserve. 


Luckylucky said:


> I came from a house like this, the difference being that it was much, much worse than what you describe.
> 
> The one thing I can tell you is that I understand why women don’t leave. But I don’t understand when women try to tell their kids that their father really does love them.
> 
> ...


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

What do the children say about his anger? Are they afraid of him? Do they have to always walk on eggshells?
Do they ever say you should end the marriage?


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