# How do I go about telling my Husband that I want a divorce!



## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

I want to keep this message short and sweet! I have always realized that my marriage wasn't going to work but I never wanted to give up as soon as something bad happened. I should have stopped at all the warning signs from the jump. He was cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship! I have now come to grips that you can't force something to work out if it was never meant to work from the jump. I want to get a divorce but have been wracking my brains on how to approach him with the subject. He knows how I feel but I feel that he thinks I won't leave him since I've threatened to leave after each infidelity but have yet to go through with it. I've had a separation agreement put together and now, I need to have this conversation. What's the best way to have this discussion? Thank you in advance!


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

It's not a discussion. It's an announcement. You get your ducks in a row. Then you tell him you have consulted a lawyer & you are moving out. If you have a proposal on how to handle various practical issues that will have to be addressed, talk to him about those too. Then you move forward in your life. 

If you make it a discussion that implies that you are willing to talk about reconciliation, marriage counseling etc. He's a serial cheater & you know that is not going to change. So there is nothing to talk about. Make your announcement & be done.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You say “I’m getting a divorce” (at least that’s how I told my serial cheater that I was finally done).


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

You are looking for an easy way to say it. There isn't one, you just have to gather your courage and say it.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

"In reality, you divorced me the moment you first strayed. Now the time has come to make it official. I want a divorce." 
How's that for a starting point?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Just say that you are no longer going to put up with his serial cheating and you are divorcing him. Surely it won't come as a complete surprise to him?
Oh and good for you for finally seeing sense and ending it.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

You say, "I've made honest attempts to make this work but my life has more value to me than staying with someone who will never be committed to me." 

Is the separation agreement necessary? Why not just get to the divorce. It seems like you're looking to find baby-steps toward this. Pulling the bandaid off quickly is the better analogy...


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Don’t tell him ****. Just have him served.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

If he’s been cheating, why hasn’t he done the hard work and divorced you first?

I get really mad when I see story after story of the irresponsible cheaters who just won’t leave! And won’t take the hard steps to make the appointments, have the conversations and organise their future living arrangements. 

I wouldn’t have any conversation at all, just go and quietly do your research, plan your exit and then let him know once everything is finalised. Eg I’m leaving in a week, I’ve seen a lawyer, it’s over.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

See a lawyer. Determine what you want as far as property and asset division, file the proper paperwork with the court and have him served. 

No discussion necessary.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Tested_by_stress said:


> "In reality, you divorced me the moment you first strayed. Now the time has come to make it official. I want a divorce."
> How's that for a starting point?


I like this. Very true too.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

*blessed18*




oldshirt said:


> See a lawyer. Determine what you want as far as property and asset division, file the proper paperwork with the court and have him served.
> 
> No discussion necessary.


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

D0nnivain said:


> It's not a discussion. It's an announcement. You get your ducks in a row. Then you tell him you have consulted a lawyer & you are moving out. If you have a proposal on how to handle various practical issues that will have to be addressed, talk to him about those too. Then you move forward in your life.
> 
> If you make it a discussion that implies that you are willing to talk about reconciliation, marriage counseling etc. He's a serial cheater & you know that is not going to change. So there is nothing to talk about. Make your announcement & be done.


So true! Thank you so much 💜


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## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

Tested_by_stress said:


> "In reality, you divorced me the moment you first strayed. Now the time has come to make it official. I want a divorce."
> How's that for a starting point?


Love it lol Thank you 💜


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

blessed18 said:


> I want to keep this message short and sweet! I have always realized that my marriage wasn't going to work but I never wanted to give up as soon as something bad happened. I should have stopped at all the warning signs from the jump. He was cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship! I have now come to grips that you can't force something to work out if it was never meant to work from the jump. I want to get a divorce but have been wracking my brains on how to approach him with the subject. He knows how I feel but I feel that he thinks I won't leave him since I've threatened to leave after each infidelity but have yet to go through with it. I've had a separation agreement put together and now, I need to have this conversation. What's the best way to have this discussion? Thank you in advance!


What is there to discuss? He has cheated on you many times. If he had been a decent husband then you owe him the courtesy of a discussion. You owe this man nothing except a surprise divorce petition or maybe a divorce party! You have been his doormat long enough.
See the lawyer, see what your options are and tell your unfaithful husband how it is going to go down. He should have absolutely no say in what you want for the rest of your life as he will not be in it.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

blessed18 said:


> .....I have always realized that* my marriage wasn't going to work but I never wanted to give up* as soon as something bad happened. I should have stopped at all the warning signs from the jump. *He was cheating on me from the beginning of our relationship!* I have now come to grips that *you can't force something to work out if it was never meant to work* from the jump. I want to get a divorce but *have been wracking my brains on how to approach him with the subject. He knows how I feel but I feel that he thinks I won't leave him* since I've threatened to leave after each infidelity but have yet to go through with it. *I've had a separation agreement put together* and now, I need to have this conversation. What's the best way to have this discussion? Thank you in advance!


*Dear Melinda French Gates;*

My heart goes out to you. You sound like you have thought things through and gotten good legal advice. I was particularly horrified about how Bill asked his permanent girl friend (he goes off to see each year) for permission to marry you. I feel that your decision to get nearly $2 billion in stock transferred to your name at the time you file your divorce papers was very smart.

If for some reason you are not "the Mrs. Gates," then I advice you to do much of what she has done. Keep the message short and sweet, be friendly but a hard negotiator with the help of good attorneys and get your half of the estate of this cheater and poor excuse of a husband.

Good luck and set a goal for yourself of continuing to grow as a person and human being.


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