# Sex with husband?



## babygirl23 (Nov 30, 2012)

My husband is being very h0rny towards me these days. Hes always been sexy towards me but nowadays its getting a bit too much..
There are times when I just want to snuggle up to him and rest my head on his chest but he will be unzipping my clothes and feeling me all over.. I tried to tell him that i just want to be with him but he doesnt listen. He pins me to bed and does it till he can.
Hes large and too much sex results in my thighs getting bruised and sometimes i can barely walk. And I am petite while hes very tall and a bit on muscular side. He is very good looking but keeps saying i am very cute and lovely.

If i am cooking, he ll come and fondle me intimately. And we end up kissing. Same at restaurants. He sits real close to me and he always keeps his face really close to me.

We married two years ago. We are 11 years apart in age, hes thirty four and i am twenty three. He has a 5 year old whose custody he has.
I told him my feelings, but he was hurt.. He told me I don't find him desirable. I had to make puddings for him and have sex with him to make him normal again.

Is it related to his past? He was on substances for 8 years, was a player and had a bad materialistic first marriage. I pressured him into medication and rehabilitation for substances so hes off it now and committed to me.
I dont want to push him away because he might get hurt and thats the last thing I want to do.

What should i do?


----------



## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

He has boundary issues. It's great that he's just NUTS about you, but he is overbearing.


----------



## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

overbearing??

a man has his needs...having said that..maybe ur not compatable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Weathered (Dec 15, 2009)

You two need to talk about it.
How much is OK for you two to get what you need without it becoming excessively distracting to your lives.
Talk openly, honestly and lovingly.
This is a problem you can solve together.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Can you expand on your last paragraph... He was on what substance? And, what medication is he on?


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

You need to explain to him that non sexual touch is very important to a woman.

As another poster said its great he's do into you but there needs to be balance and he needs to respect your boundaries. 

You will be repelled by him if you feel you can never touch without it being sexual. To have a good connection you need both.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

The boundary discussion definitely needs to take place. It can be done in a loving, mature and respectful manner. 

There is his side to look at as well. If he is HD and you shut him down he is definitely going to resent it. Is the sex horrible? Are there other positions that you could use that would not cause the bruising?

If I am reading correctly you are saying he forces you and that is not ok married or not. That is the first thing that has to stop. No means no even when you are married.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

If you dont set some boundaries on this, you will end up resenting the hell out of him. He needs to meet some of your emotional needs too, this cant be all one sided. You arent just a thing to have sex with.


----------



## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

It shouldn't hurt - if it does there's a problem - and he should be sensitive to that.
(Not the same as feeling a bit worn through frequent use. So long as it doesn't become painful.)

First up - maybe some positional changes - if you're getting bruising because he's much bulkier than you - maybe you could try going on top, or finding another position where his weight isn't impacting so much. There are many options.

And boundaries - yes - you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable.

That said, it's nice that he desires you so much (I know the feeling - I have the same desires for my wife - have had to channel them into appropriate times/places ... it can be hard at times - double entendre intended!)


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

There are tons of deprived women on this website who would kill to be in your shoes. I guess some people just can't be pleased.


----------



## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

I have never heard of pudding soothing anyone's ego who is over the age of five.


----------



## larcenciel (Nov 28, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> There are tons of deprived women on this website who would kill to be in your shoes. I guess some people just can't be pleased.


That's really insensitive and you should know better than to post something like that in this forum.

I am HD and my husband very LD right now, and you know what, I would not trade that for him forcing himself on me against my wishes, treating me like a plaything, and making me feel guilty about making him feel undesirable when I try to express my discomfort with it. 

They both have needs and their needs differ, so what's wrong with her expecting to have hers met and to not be forced to meet his needs regardless of her wishes?


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

How mant times a week do you have sex?

How mant times a week would he want sex?

How mant times a week would you want sex (Really)?


----------



## babygirl23 (Nov 30, 2012)

RClawson said:


> The boundary discussion definitely needs to take place. It can be done in a loving, mature and respectful manner.
> 
> There is his side to look at as well. If he is HD and you shut him down he is definitely going to resent it. Is the sex horrible? Are there other positions that you could use that would not cause the bruising?
> 
> If I am reading correctly you are saying he forces you and that is not ok married or not. That is the first thing that has to stop. No means no even when you are married.


He doesnt force me, just acts mushy and then begins what he wants.
I like to keep him happy and pleased so I give in. And thanks I ll tell him my feelings and I hope he understands this time.

Someone asked about what substances. He was on drugs 3 years back and before it too, but now hes off it and he still goes to therapy.


----------



## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Damn, guy gets happy with pudding and loves you a bit too much... Shoot that abusive bastard...


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> There are tons of deprived women on this website who would kill to be in your shoes. I guess some people just can't be pleased.


I don't think that any woman wants what she is going through on a normal basis.. to be held down and have him go at it until her legs are brused? And while she's telling him to not do it... 

yea every women wants to be all brused up from sex...


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Well maybe I need to read the op a little closer. Anyway, happy I could help Trenton. We always seem to see eye to eye.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Well maybe I need to read the op a little closer. Anyway, happy I could help Trenton. We always seem to see eye to eye.


Here let me help...



babygirl23 said:


> My husband is being very h0rny towards me these days. Hes always been sexy towards me but nowadays its getting a bit too much..
> 
> There are times when I just want to snuggle up to him and rest my head on his chest but he will be unzipping my clothes and feeling me all over.. I tried to tell him that i just want to be with him but he doesnt listen. *He pins me to bed and does it till he can.
> 
> ...


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'd be very interested to hear his perspective in all this. There's two sides to every story. I wonder if the people crucifying him have the ability to put themselves into his shoes. 

But the jury has spoken I guess.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'd be very interested to hear his perspective in all this. There's two sides to every story. I wonder if the people crucifying him have the ability to put themselves into his shoes.
> 
> But the jury has spoken I guess.


Yea, there must be a good excuse to hold his wife down and bruise her like that... Look I know that bruising can happen sometimes but this sounds extreme.


----------



## babygirl23 (Nov 30, 2012)

He isnt abusive. I think you are reaching on the point a bit earlier. He is very affectionate. It hurts because of his size and because he likes to do it a lot with me.

Any thing I could use so that its easier for me???. I told him to be gentle and hes fine with it.


----------



## babygirl23 (Nov 30, 2012)

And yes I love making him happy. Hes been through a lot and hasn't had a normal simple life. I want him to experience that so I yield to what he wants, so that hes happy.
He has never hurt me. As I said the only issue is him wanting a lot of sex and sometimes I get sore from it.

Thats all.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Are you always on bottom? Have you tried cowgirl so he doesn't have his weight on you? Do you mix it up with oral and hj's to give, um, the rest of you a break?


----------



## babygirl23 (Nov 30, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Are you always on bottom? Have you tried cowgirl so he doesn't have his weight on you? Do you mix it up with oral and hj's to give, um, the rest of you a break?


Hes mostly on top. He is a bit muscular, not much though. nope, I have not tried cowgirl


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

There is a book called His Needs, Her Needs. I recommend it to just about everyone.
It details a woman's need for affection that is non sexual. My H did not get it until he read this book. He always thought a cuddle was another word for a grope.


----------



## mikeyb (Jul 8, 2012)

Trenton said:


> I wouldn't find it attractive one bit regardless of his needs, he's not recognizing that your needs are also important and that's the actual problem. A man who does not care whether his wife is being pleased is setting himself up for failure eventually whether his temporary sexual needs are being met or not.
> 
> You do deserve to be happy in the relationship and those who told you that you need to set boundaries are correct.
> 
> In my opinion, your husband absolutely needs to consider not just his own enjoyment but your own and you shouldn't be afraid to guide him so that he can become not only a lover with a ferocious appetite for your body but also a lover who genuinely enjoys satisfying you and has the knowledge to do so.


I agree here..., He needs to RESPECT you as his wife. Not treat you like his toy and property.

Sex is good but you're obviously having issues with him and how he's treating you.

And the theory that you'll end up "resenting him" are spot on. You need to find a way to get this across to him. Maybe if he thinks you'll end up hating and despising him in the future he'll take it a little easier on you.


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

babygirl23 said:


> My husband is being very h0rny towards me these days. Hes always been sexy towards me but nowadays its getting a bit too much..
> There are times when I just want to snuggle up to him and rest my head on his chest but he will be unzipping my clothes and feeling me all over.. I tried to tell him that i just want to be with him but he doesnt listen. He pins me to bed and does it till he can.
> Hes large and too much sex results in my thighs getting bruised and sometimes i can barely walk. And I am petite while hes very tall and a bit on muscular side. He is very good looking but keeps saying i am very cute and lovely.
> 
> ...


At your age, you are not yet at your sexual peak, whereas your husband is just slightly over the hill...Your needs will come into balance with time, in the interim, perhaps an unsolicited HJ or BJ on occasion wouild let him know you are "in" to him.....


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

I think you should relax and enjoy it. All his ex-wifes ex-friends will be jealous of you all over again.


----------

