# Need a Man's Opinion Bad!



## nicam (Jul 20, 2011)

Please help! I posted in the general discussion area but then realized a man's opinion may be more in order.

OK, so my boyfriend and I have the most amazing sex, and although we've been through some really tough times in the past year and 1/2 we finally made it through! I thought everything was great until...

Monday I came home from work and he was acting strange (attached to his phone, sketchy, seemed annoyed and short with me). He told me 2 of his military academy classmates died as well as his father's friend. None of these people were close to him, but he seemed really dramatic and freaked about it. My instincts were telling me something was not right.

So, he asks me for some "alone time" which I thought was strange. I didn't want to go anywhere (I am working 2 jobs the past month or 2 to support us right now while he is waiting to start his new job). But I went. Gave him his alone time.

Well, the next day I come home from lunch and open the computer to find he had joined and uploaded photos to several online x-rated dating sites (where people find singles in their area to have casual sex with). He exchanged email addresses and sent this one local woman several emails asking what her interests and fetishes were, etc.

He did this all while I was out of the house against my own will so he could have "alone time". 

He says he was drunk and it was just a stupid mistake and he never would cheat on me. Said he did it for validation, or an ego boost. He feels emasculated because I am supporting us, etc. But he lied about certain things (claimed he visited a porn site and they auto-signed him up for these dating sites, LIE, because I saw emails from the dating sites approving his recent photo submissions).

Should I just get out? He is begging me to stay, saying he could never dream of being with another woman, and that it was just one stupid mistake and will never happen again. God knows where it would have ended up had I not caught him.

Please help! Any input is greatly appreciated. We just signed a year lease together on a beautiful townhome and I'm thinking about breaking it off and living together as friends. Ugh! 

Should I just cut and run? He will cheat eventually if he is doing this, right?


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

He made up a crazy story so that he could try to meet other people. Leave him


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If he was feeling grief and shock from the loss of these people, I seriously doubt he would be needing casual sex with trashy women to deal with it, and if that is really his response to a little stress then you will have to deal with the issue every time he faces a challenge.

More likely, as Kobo said, he just made up a really crazy story to get some space to hook up, so give him that space permanently and end the relationship and let him support his own sorry @ss.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Lon said:


> More likely, as Kobo said, _he just made up a really crazy story to get some space to hook up, so give him that space permanently and end the relationship and let him support his own sorry @ss_.


:rofl: You men on here crack me up sometimes. Your advice is spot on but tongue in cheek!


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## fredless (Jun 12, 2011)

Each person has to decide if s/he wants to "cut and run." Were I in your place, as you described the situation, I would be done. As a man, I've been drunk in the past--I've never decided when drunk to sign up on x-rated dating sites for casual sex. Simply put, his utilizing alcohol as an excuse for his behavior is BS.

For me, trust is paramount in a relationship. You have to ask yourself how important it is to you and if you feel that this relationship is worth it.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

He's a liar, and a cheat.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

:iagree: with all of the above.


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## nicam (Jul 20, 2011)

Thanks guys, not what I wanted to hear of course but...

I did think of staying, only because this WAS really out of character for him. We are usually really open and honest, and I have all the passwords to his email accts., etc. 

I also opened our computer yesterday and found he posted in a forum asking how to win me back after doing something so stupid. Then, I created a fake email account with a name almost identical to the girl he had emailed, sent him a provocative email, and he deleted it without checking.

I guess that doesn't really change anything though, still a liar and a cheat... so devastated by this!


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

You could break up move on, and if you want call him for the amazing sex. Make sure afterwards you shove him out the door. Don't let him get cozy, that way he will know he is there only for sex. Above all don't cook and feed the man.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

4sure said:


> You could break up move on, and if you want call him for the amazing sex. Make sure afterwards you shove him out the door. Don't let him get cozy, that way he will know he is there only for sex. *Above all don't cook and feed the man*.


...because then he'll try to stay. LOL :rofl:


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