# Advice Please...little bit of panic



## Tonic (Jan 11, 2012)

Hello – this is my first post. Any advice would be great.
So, my GF and I were together for 2.5 years. We broke up on NYE. She is 30 and I am 34. After 1 year we moved in together. She was pushing for us to move in. I agreed and we moved in. 
We live in Australia. We then moved 1200 kms to a new city at the beginning of 2011. Last year (2011) we had lots going on – the move, new jobs, she was away with work for a bit, two overseas holidays, a few weddings (interstate) etc.
The whole time she was pushing for the relationship to move forward. She couldn’t settle and releax into it because she wanted more to be happening. Every 4 or so months since we have been living together, she would have these almost hysterical chats with me about her need to have children and get married. I would tell myself this is not what I wanted (marriage, kids etC) but then I see other couples with kids etc., and think how wonderful that looks. Now, I think a little person(s) with her would be great. 
I was late going to University and only completed when I was 28 or so, and so since then I have felt like I am catching up (career wise and also perhaps life wise). So I’ve always felt a little under pressure (more own pressure) to be doing more (and I’m not actually sure what more is).
For the last 18 months I’ve felt like I want out of the relationship. I’ve felt more relaxed when she was interstate visiting family or away for work. I would be at home and just feel like I had space again. When she would return, although it was nice to see her, I’d begin to feel tense or suffocated or something.
She is moving out tomorrow (11 days after break up). We chatted last night about where we are, what happened etc. She thinks that this is the right decision. I agree (although I absolutely hate admitting it – I I don’t use the word hate very often).
So, I figure if we’ve been together for so long, I’ve felt like I wanted out of it for so long, and now that it is over I feel some relief (when I have moments of clarity such as when running (exercising)) then that must be a good thing.
So, the complicating factor for me…I think she is as close to the perfect person. Her personality is amazing – she is funny, intelligent, caring, generous, has a great career in front of her, will be a brilliant mother etc., etc., and so on. The problem is that is I started thinking the grass might be greener somewhere else (I think) or that somewhere I lost being as attracted to her as I thought I should be. Oh, and I think I stopped being attracted to her for some reason, but when I see photos of her I think she is actually quite good looking and she is, and is all class. 
So, anyway, last night we chatted. She said she thinks this is the right decision. I have to agree with her and besides, it is too late now. But, there is something there that is making me think I am crazy for letting her go. And, now of course, I am absolutely scared witless that this is the mistake of my life. But then I remember the previous 18 months I felt like I didn’t want to be in it. Wow…
Any thoughts? And thank you very much for reading this and excuse the length.


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## Tonic (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi everybody. any thoughts?


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