# Married Men: Do you feel sorry for you Single Friends?



## matt82 (Jun 28, 2012)

I read this quote in an article recently and it got me thinking:



> None of the married men I know envy single men – they pity them. The longing for long-term intimate connection is a near-universal impulse. Even the most inveterate playboys eventually get married. The only people who escape these yearnings are people (usually men) who are in some way autistic, or asexual. We are born and bred to be pair-bonded.



To the married men on here, *do you pity or feel sorry for your single guy friends?* I never did when I was married. And now that I'm single again, I can't imagine ever going back to being married.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Yes and no....
When happily married, having that level of commitment to each other and knowing I wasn't going to wake up alone was a great feeling. Basically I really, really like knowing I'm loved, wanted and desired by someone I feel the same about. I'd see my single friends struggling to find that connection and feel sorry they couldn't find it. 

Then the marriage went bad. Now I 'envy' the single guys. It's not because of the lifestyle, it's because they have choice and might find that right girl; Hopeful. My wife is no longer 'the right girl'... just a consolation prize that comes with the kids, house and lifestyle I'm unwilling to give up.... part of the package I do my best with. It's not bad, but the 'why' I married her in the first place was destroyed; The feelings of being single and alone without the potential to find the right one or fun in that pursuit.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Good question.

Yes I pity them.
I know two guys around my age [ 43] who are single and they are not as happy as they used be when we were all younger and dating.

I feel sorry for them because even they always have women they seem lonely. They always ask me what makes my wife and I so happy together.

Serial monogamy, ONS, casual sex or dating can be rough after crossing 30.
Not everyone if emotionally fit to be married though, so I guess they suffer the consequences of their choices.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

matt82 said:


> *do you pity or feel sorry for your single guy friends?*


While I would never willingly give up my marriage without just cause .... I don't feel sorry for them at all. They are having a ball. Not one of them said "I wish I have what you have".


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## matt82 (Jun 28, 2012)

I guess it depends a lot on your marriage then. During mine, I felt like I was in prison and really resented her.

Then, after years of accusing me of cheating, she cheated on me. I saw my "out" and took it and haven't regretted my decision one bit.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

So it all depends doesn't it? If you're happy in your marriage you're a lucky person as it takes two to make it work and you only have control over half of the arrangement. If you're not happy the then grass over on the single side begins to look pretty good. I have single friends in their 40's who wouldn't change a thing. "Its all relative" as they say...


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

No, not if they are happy and at peace with themselves.

Anymore, most of my men friends are through sports and camping programs I participate in with my children and that, by default, pares my friendship circle into men of certain character, values and morals.

So for those who are single I respect them for stepping up and being involved in their children’s lives, the ones I feel bad for are the those who have to deal with ugly divorce (or in some cases marriage) situations.

It just so impacts the children in a negative way I wish the parents could step back and objectively look at what it does to the children.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I pity my single girlfriends.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I pity the men who never get married, never have a good solid long term relationship, and who never have kids. They really miss out on a lot.

But most of my single friends are divorced, with a few not yet married but looking. Those men seem to have a pretty decent lifestyle. Being single today looks a lot less lonely than it was 30 years ago.


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