# Some Statistics on divorce I found



## matt (Apr 2, 2009)

Divorce in the United States
Divorce statistics reveal that divorce is becoming fairly commonplace in the United States. Consider the following statistics from Divorce Magazine: 

In the United States, 49% of marriages end in divorce. 
Although 82% of all married couples will reach their fifth wedding anniversary, only 52% will celebrate 15 years of marriage. 
The median duration of first marriages that end in divorce is slightly less than eight years. 
Most people will wait about three years after a divorce to remarry. 
Most divorce proceedings will take approximately one year to complete. 
World Divorce Statistics

In case you were wondering, divorce rates do vary substantially in different countries. Check out these world divorce statistics: 
In Sweden, 64% of marriages end in divorce. 
In Canada, 45% of marriages end in divorce 
In France, 43% of marriages end in divorce. 
In Israel, 26% of marriages end in divorce. 
In Greece, 18% of marriages end in divorce. 
In Italy, 12% of marriages end in divorce. 
The Economic Impact of Divorce
If you review current divorce statistics, some of the most shocking facts relate to the economic impact of divorce. While it’s not uncommon for a father’s standard of living to rise after a divorce, the end of marriage often leaves women and children in poverty. Consider the following divorce statistics: 
Divorced women with children are four times more likely than married women to have an income that is under the poverty line. 
A single mom is nine times more likely than a married woman to have an income that is less than half the official poverty line. 
Although 10% of families in the U.S. are headed by a woman, 40% of poor families have a female head of household. 
Of course, divorce also results in a higher cost to society as a whole. According to one study, a single divorce can cost state and federal governments more than $30,000 in court fees, increased bankruptcies, food stamps, and public housing benefits. 
Children and Divorce
The effects of divorce on children have been widely studied. Consider the following divorce statistics: 
The number of children living with both parents decreased from 85% to 68% between 1970 and 1996. 
About half of all children will witness the breakup of a parent's marriage. Of these kids, nearly half will also witness a parent's second divorce. 
Children who are raised in single-parent homes are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce. 
Teen girls from single parent homes are twice as likely to drop out of high school or give birth to an out-of-wedlock child. 
Preventing Divorce
According to Barbara Whitehead and David Popenoe's The State of Our Unions, the following factors help reduce a person’s risk of getting divorced: 
If you have an annual income of over $50,000, your risk of divorce decreases by 30%. 
If you wait to marry until you’re over 25 years of age, your risk of divorce decreases by 24%. 
If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14%. 
If you have strong religious beliefs, your risk of divorce decreases by 14%. 
If you’ve attended college, your risk of divorce decreases by 13%. 
________________________________________


Initial Author: Danahinders



Learn More
General Happiness

Marriage is good for women -- N.Y. Post editorial on Linda Waite study
What's Marriage Got to Do With It? by Glenn Stanton. Comprehensive, well-footnoted summary of Health and longevity effects of marriage and divorce on men, women and children 
Divorce equals higher levels of unhappiness

"The proportion of married Americans that are not happy with their marriage has not changed, but the [proportion] that are happy has dropped sharply from more than half to less than two-fifths."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 107, citing Norvall Glenn, "The Social and Cultural Meaning of Marriage," in The Retreat from Marriage, Bryce Christensen, ed. 

"The proportion of kids that are living with unhappily married parents has not changed, but the proportion of kids living with happily married parents has fell from what was in the seventies a majority, is now at 40%."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 107, citing Norvall Glenn, "The Re-Evaluation of Family Change by American Social Scientists" (1994), Figures 1 and 2. 

Religious Involvement
Divorce lowers the likelihood of remaining involved in communities of faith for all religious groups studied. However, this was least pronounced for conservative Protestants. Lawton, L. E., & Bures, R. (2001). Parental Divorce and the "Switching" of Religious Identity. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 40, 99-111. Synopsis by Scott Stanley, on the Smart Marriages Archive 2/25/02, modified.
Divorce -- Mental and Physical Health Effects on Divorced People

Part of the Divorce Statistics Collection, from Americans for Divorce Reform
Legislation | Statistics | Articles/Opinion | Quotations | Polls | Other family-related articles
Send Us More Statistics!

**Attention, Users: Dead Links Aren't Really Dead 
Marriage and Children's Health and Longevity 
What's Marriage Got to Do With It? by Glenn Stanton. Comprehensive, well-footnoted summary of Health and longevity effects of marriage and divorce on men, women and children 
How Divorce Hurts Children and Adults, by Glenn T. Stanton 
Marriage is good for women -- N.Y. Post editorial on Linda Waite study x 
Summary of Linda Waite study 
Being a Single Parent is a health Risk 
Marriage Benefits the Elderly x 
Marriage adds years to your life 
Marriage for a healthy lifestyle 
Ties between men's longetivity, marriage, and "hands-on fathering" Article -- (11/23/98) 
Marriage Improves Health 
Marriage Good for Australian Men's Health 
Love provides good health
Divorced Men more likely to commit suicide 

Joan R. Kahn and Kathryn A. London, "Premarital Sex and the Risk of Divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family 53 (1991): 845-855.

Cf. Ingrid Waldron, Christopher C. Weiss, and Mary Elizabeth Hughes, "marital Status Effects on Health: Are There Differences Between Never-Married Women and Divorced and Separated Women?" Social Science & Medicine 45 (1997): 1387-1397

I.M.A. Joung et al., "Health Behaviors Explain Part of the Difference in Self-Reported Health Associated with Partner/Marital States in the Netherlands," Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 49 (1995): 482-488

Peggy A. Thoits, "Gender and Marital Status Difference in Control and Distress: Common Stress versus Unique Stress Explanations," Journal of Health and Social Behavior 28 (1987): 7-22

Janet Wilmoth and Gregor Koso, "does Marital History Matter? Marital Status and Wealth Outcomes Among Preretirement Adults," Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (2002): 254-268

Karen F. Parker and Tracy Johns, "Urban Disadvantage and Types of Race-Specific Homicide: Assessing the Diversity in Family Structures in the Urban Context," Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency 39 (2002): 277-303.

See Lee Lillard and Linda Waite, "Til Death Do Us Part: Marital Disruptions and Mortality," American Journal of Sociology. Vol.1 (1995), pp. 1131-1156.

A book by E. Mavis Heatherington indicates that 20 years after divorce, only 20 percent of individuals indicated that their lives had improved, while in 70 percent of cases, the individuals were in the same or worse emotional and social condition. [Gallagher, Maggie. (2002) Third Thoughts on Divorce. National Review v54 i5 p50. Retrieved June 9, 2004 from Expanded Academic ASAP.]

"Divorced adults are more susceptible to severe emotional and psychological problems, plus early death from an assortment of causes, than for married individuals. The suicide rate for divorced white men, for example, is four times higher than for their married counterparts. The situation for divorced adults is such that Harold Morowitz of Yale University contends, 'Being divorced and a non-smoker is slightly less dangerous than smoking a pack or more a day and staying married.'"
Quoted in Bryce J. Christensen, "In Sickness and in Health: The Medical Costs of Family Meltdown," Policy Review, Spring 1992, p. 71. Cited in Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum.

"Adults and children are at increased risk for mental and physical
problems due to marital distress (e.g., Cherlin & Furstenberg, 1994;
Coie et al. 1993; Coyne, Kahn, & Gotlib, 1987; Cowan & Cowan, 1992;
Fincham, Grych, & Osborne, 1993).

"Married men and women in all age groups are less likely to be limited in
activity (a general health indice) due to illness than single,
separated, divorced, or widowed individuals (National Center for Health
Statistics, 1997)."
-- From a September 25, 1998 posting on the Smart Marriages Archive, probably by Scott Stanley

Divorced men and women suffer to a much greater degree than married persons early death from cancer, cardiovascular disease, strokes, pneumonia, hypertension, and suicide. According to researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health, "The single most powerful predictor of stress-related physical, as well as emotional, illness is marital disruption."'
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum. citing B.M. Rosen, H.F. Goldsmith, and R.W. Rednick, Demographic and Social Indicators from the U.S. Census of Population and Housing: Uses for Mental Health Planning in Small Areas (Rockville, MD: National Institute of Mental Health, 1977). Cited in Susan Larson and David Larson, M.D., M.S.P.H., "Divorce: A Hazard to Your Health?" Physician, May/June 1990, p. 14. 

"Divorced adults, particularly divorced men, experience early health problems to a much greater extent than married individuals. Premature death rates for divorced men double that of married men from such causes as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and strokes. The premature death rate from pneumonia is seven times larger for divorced men than for married men. ... The suicide rate for divorced white men was four times higher than for their married counterparts."
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum. citing J.J. Lynch, The Broken Heart: The Medical Consequences of Loneliness (New York: Basic Books, 1977). Cited in Susan Larson and David Larson, M.D., M.S.P.H., "Divorce: A Hazard to Your Health?" Physician, May/June 1990, p. 14.

"Divorced or separated men undergo inpatient or outpatient psychiatric care at a rate of 10 times more than married men; divorced or separated women's usage of such care increased fivefold."
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum. citing B.R. Bloom, S.W. White, and S.J. Asher, "Marital Disruption as a Stressful Life Event," Divorce and Separation: Context, Causes and Consequences (New York: Basic Books, 1979). Cited in Susan Larson and David Larson, M.D., M.S.P.H., "Divorce: A Hazard to Your Health?" Physician, May/June 1990, p. 14.

General Happiness

Marriage is good for women -- N.Y. Post editorial on Linda Waite study
What's Marriage Got to Do With It? by Glenn Stanton. Comprehensive, well-footnoted summary of Health and longevity effects of marriage and divorce on men, women and children 
Divorce equals higher levels of unhappiness

"The proportion of married Americans that are not happy with their marriage has not changed, but the [proportion] that are happy has dropped sharply from more than half to less than two-fifths."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 107, citing Norvall Glenn, "The Social and Cultural Meaning of Marriage," in The Retreat from Marriage, Bryce Christensen, ed. 

"The proportion of kids that are living with unhappily married parents has not changed, but the proportion of kids living with happily married parents has fell from what was in the seventies a majority, is now at 40%."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher page 107, citing Norvall Glenn, "The Re-Evaluation of Family Change by American Social Scientists" (1994), Figures 1 and 2. 

Religious Involvement
Divorce lowers the likelihood of remaining involved in communities of faith for all religious groups studied. However, this was least pronounced for conservative Protestants. Lawton, L. E., & Bures, R. (2001). Parental Divorce and the "Switching" of Religious Identity. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 40, 99-111. Synopsis by Scott Stanley, on the Smart Marriages Archive 2/25/02, modified.
Children of divorce: All kinds of problems

Part of the Divorce Statistics Collection, from Americans for Divorce Reform
Legislation | Statistics | Articles/Opinion | Quotations | Polls | Other family-related articles
Send Us More Statistics!

Our statistics collection is divided into specific topics, but many studies look at a host of problems experienced by children of divorce. Here are some direct links to such studies, followed by links to our pages on specific problems, which include links to, and excerpts from, other studies.

**Attention, Users: Dead Links Aren't Really Dead

Links to abstracts of studies on Children of Divorce and:
--Divorce Rates in families with children
--Child Abuse
--Poverty
--Crime (incl. Rape statistics)
--Psychological, psychiatric, behavioral problems and suicide
--Children of divorce getting divorced, becoming teen moms, single moms
--Educational achievement
--African American Children
--Religion
--Teen Smoking
--Shortness
--Grandparents' divorce

_______________________________________________________________________________
For years scholars discussed only whether or not divorce "damaged" children
by creating mental illness in them.

As if, any form of pain we inflict on our children that does not produce
mental illness does not "count." The fact that many children of divorce
report great suffering, and yet are within the normal range psychologically,
was somehow taken as evidence that the suffering did no damage, and the
divorce was somehow justified.
...
Surely it's good news that most children of divorce are not clinically
depressed. Does it matter that most children whose parents divorce report
lonelier, less protected, and more stress-filled childhoods? ...

- Comment by Maggie Gallagher 11/7/05 on
iMAPP.org | Institute for Marriage and Public Policy
_______________________________________________________________________________

"Sex Between Young Teens and Older Individuals: A Demographic Portrait"
By Jennifer Manlove, Ph.D., Kristin Moore, Ph.D., Janet Liechty, M.S.W., Erum Ikramullah, and Sarah Cottingham
Child Trends Research Brief
September 2005; Publication #2005-07

..."Sex between young teens and older individuals increases with the number of famiy disadvantages...[The teens] lived in a family structure other than one headed by two biological or adoptive parents"...

..."Trends created an index of family disadvantage. We found that as the number of family disadvantages increases, the likelihood of sex between young teens and older individuals increases correspondingly..."

Figure 4, summarized below, showed the prevalence of sex between young teens and older individuals, by number of family disadvantages (family disadvantages include low parent education, family structure other than two biological parents, and son/daughter of a teen mother.--Source: National Survey of Family Growth 2002. 

"Among females, 7% of those with no family disadvantages first had sex with older individuals when they were 15 years old or younger, 12% with one disadvantage, 20% with two disadvantages, and 23% with all three disadvantages. Among males, 2% of those with no family disadvantages first had sex with older individuals when they were 15 years old or younger, 5% with one disadvantage, 8% with two disadvantages, and 10% with all three disadvantages."

The research source for this brief came from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG 2002), conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS). For additional information on Child Trends visit Child Trends. For the latest information on child and youth well-being indicators visit Welcome to the Child Trends DataBank. 
______________________________________________________________________________
Children of divorce are twice as likely to drop out of school as those from intact homes, three times as apt to have a baby out of wedlock, five-fold more likely to be in poverty and 12 times more apt to be incarcerated. Judith Wallerstein followed 100 children of divorce for 25 years after parental divorce. Only 60 of the 100, now aged 27-43, had ever married vs. 84 percent of those from intact families. And 25 of the 60 had already divorced, leaving only a third who built lasting marriages. McManus: Ethics & Religion Sept. 14, 2004 Column #1,203 Advance for Sept.18, 2004 Mutual Consent Divorce Reform by Michael J. McManus. Cited in a posting from Smart Marriages Listserv on Sept. 15, 2004.

Bridget E. Maher, "The Benefits of Marriage" (2005)
Summary: Children raised by their biological married parents receive
numerous social, health, and economic benefits, and these gifts benefit the
whole of society. Includes policy recommendations.
Family Research Council i=IS05B01&f=PB05C01&t=e

Divorce damages infants too
Health24.com - Cape Town,South Africa
Babies who spend nights at the different homes of separated or divorced
parents have problems making secure attachments to their parents. ...

The damage done by the decline of marriage
Forty years ago, 90 percent of children were reared to maturity by their married, natural parents. Today, that figure is 68 percent. More than one in four children are living in a sole-parent family or step/blended family from which one natural parent is absent, nearly always the natural father. The proportion of children born to unmarried mothers has increased six-fold since the 1960s. Rates of child abuse are eight to 10 times higher in step/blended and sole-parent families than in natural, two-parent families. Divorce has increased four-fold since 1960. About 46 percent of marriages will end in divorce, and about 50,000 children are affected by divorce each year. Cohabitation has increased rapidly, but cohabiting relationships are even more unstable than marriage. Cohabitation does not lead to stronger marriages. Six percent of children live with cohabiting parents. Forty years ago, 10 young male adults out of every 100,000 of the population killed themselves. Today, it is 40 out of every 100,000. Suicide is associated with loss of family bonds, social isolation, drugs and unemployment. "The damage done by the decline of marriage" The Age (AUSTRALIA), By BARRY MALEY Saturday 8 December 2001. Cited in a posting on the Smart Marriages Listserv Dec. 14, 2004.




Children raised by single parents more prone to difficulties in adulthood

The sons of single parents are more prone to commit suicide as adults than others, and daughters are more likely to have abortions and more children. The risk of suicide doubled if sons were raised by single parents. When compared with people who grew up in a traditional family with both parents, children of single parents are hospitalized more often due to injuries and poisonings. The sons of single parents also commit more crimes. Licentiate in Medicine Anu Sauvola studied some 11,000 young people, two thousand of whom came from families with one parent or guardian. The lives of the children are followed from before birth to 32 years of age. The study revealed that the family background of childhood is connected to problems in adulthood, such as physical illnesses, premature death and crime. Helsinki Sanomat: "Children raised by single parents more prone to difficulties in adulthood" April 20, 2001, Cited in a posting from Smart Marriages Listserv on April 21, 2001.


Why We Don't Marry , by James Q. Wilson 2001 (discusses many studies, and questions of correlation and causation, especially relating to poverty)
How Divorce Hurts Children and Adults, by Glenn T. Stanton
CHILDREN OF DIVORCE -- P.B.S. Documentary with Fred Barnes
Children of Divorce becoming less likely to marry, divorce than in the past
Marriage and Divorce Stats for Children of Divorce
What's Marriage Got to Do With It? by Glenn Stanton. Comprehensive, well-footnoted summary of Health and longevity effects of marriage and divorce on men, women and children 
Prescence of father is best thing for daughter 
Australian Parliamentary Report on divorce rates, costs, and numbers of children affected x 
Rapists, murderers, lifers, dropouts, abuse victims: mostly from broken homes
Statistics on children of divorce, illegitimacy, and child abuse (Fagan & Hanks 1997) x 
Economic effects of no-fault on women and children (Parkman)
Effects of divorce on low-income boys (1994 Cornell U. study)
Kids twice as likely to be JDs, teen moms if father not in home
Fact sheet on how Divorce Hurts Women, Men, and Kids x 
Bill establishing committee to study divorce (passed; includes provocative statistics)
Fact Sheet on Divorce in America by Glenn Stanton includes numbers of divorced people in U.S., several effects of divorce on adults and children.
Facts About Marital Distress and Divorce by Scott M. Stanley & Howard J. Markman. Divorce rates, marital conflict, predicting and projecting divorce, effects of divorce and marriage, lots of references to studies.
Census Bureau Facts on Single Fathers and their Children
Splits harder on boys than girls


A new study conducted by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University indicates that men who grew up in broken families are less likely to wed and have a lower opinion of marriage and of parenthood than those from intact families. The survey of 1010 men aged 25-34 revealed that:

"* Among married men, 63% grew up in two-parent homes vs. 37% in
non-traditional families.

* 54% from traditional homes say they'd ''be ready to marry tomorrow if the
right person came along'' vs. 43% of men from single-parent or step-parent
families.

* 22% of singles are ''not the marrying kind.'' These are more likely to be
from non-traditional families (59%) vs. 41% from homes with two biological
parents."

The findings suggest that the experience of growing up with both
parents is an important factor influencing young men's desires for, and
confidence in, marriage," said David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociology professor
and co-director of the National Marriage Project.

[From a posting to the Smart Marriages listserv 6/24/04, Subject: Family
Time/Teens of Divorce/Refugees -6/04; THE MARRYING KIND - USA TODAY by Marilyn Elias and The Marrying Kind press release.]

"Children living with a single parent or adult report a higher prevalence
of activity limitation and higher rates of disability. They are also
more likely to be in fair or poor health and more likely to have been
hospitalized (National Center for Health Statistics, 1997).

"The "triple threat" of marital conflict, divorce, and out-of-wedlock
births has led to a generation of U.S. children at great risk for
poverty, health problems, alienation, and antisocial behavior."
-- From a September 25, 1998 posting on the Smart Marriages Archive, probably by Scott Stanley

Religion: Children of divorce (whose parents divorced while they were children) are 62% more likely than children of non-divorced parents to no longer identify with the faith of their parents when they grow up. Catholics were 1.7 times more likely to switch to a moderate
Protestant denomination, 2.6 times more likely to switch to a conservative
Protestant denomination, and 2.2 times as likely to apostatize.
For moderate protestants, parental divorce doubles the likelihood of
switching from that faith to Catholicism. The authors interpret this as a
seeking of a stronger religious community. This group is 2.2 times more likely to reject religion altogether than children of intact families with similar faiths.
For conservative Protestants, the increased risk is about 1.5 for changing
to a more moderate denomination, and 2.7 times for rejecting the faith altogether. 
Lawton, L. E., & Bures, R. (2001). Parental Divorce and the "Switching" of Religious Identity. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 40, 99-111. Synopsis by Scott Stanley, on the Smart Marriages Archive 2/25/02, modified.

See generally Growing up with a single parent : what hurts, what helps 
By Sara McLanahan, Gary Sandefleur.
Cambridge, Mass. : Harvard University Press, 1994.
196 p. 
HQ777.4 .M39 1994


Grandparents' divorce

"Nearly half of U.S. families with children have at least one set of
grandparents who have been divorced, compared with just one-fifth in the
mid-1980s, said Merril Silverstein, a professor of gerontology at the
University of Southern California. ...
"... parents who divorced in the 1970s and 1980s are increasingly realizing
that the repercussions are not over: if divorce has distanced them from
their children, they also are less likely to enjoy close ties with their
grandchildren."
From "Generations of love evolve from divorce" By Amy Harmon in The New
York Times March 23, 2005, found at
<http://www.indystar.com/articles/3/231239-3893-010.html> 

SINS OF THE GRANDFATHERS
A new study by Paul Amato and Jacob Cheadle in the February Journal of Marriage and Family is the first to find clear links between grandparent divorce and grandchild outcomes. The study followed 2000 families over 20 years, focusing especially on the 691 adult grandchildren. After taking grandparent education into account, grandparent divorce was associated with an average 9-month reduction in education for each grandchild. Grandparent divorce was also associated with significantly greater marital discord and poorer parental relations. These effects are not large. But nor are they trivial. As the authors point out, "given that fewer than 10% of (grandchildren) had been born at the time that their grandparents divorced, the existence of these connections is remarkable. These findings suggest that parental divorce has consequences, not only for the children of these parents, but also for subsequent generations not yet born at the time that the divorce occurred." "SINS OF THE GRANDFATHERS" Cited in a posting from Smart Marriages Listserv posting Feb 28, 2005.
"With This Ring...A National Survey on Marriage In America" is a national telephone survey of 1,503 Americans age 18 and older conducted late in 2003 and early in 2004 that asked questions about attitudes toward marriage, aspirations for marriage, and past experience with marriage.
National Fatherhood Initiative. Please see National Fatherhood Initiative ::: fatherhood.org for the complete study.
Appendix A: Marriage Questionnaire With Responses (pgs 29-35)

Part of the Divorce Reform Page, sponsored by Americans for Divorce Reform
Polls | Legislation | Articles/Opinion | Quotations | Other family-related articles



Attitudes Toward Marriage and Divorce

I am going to read you a list of statements. After I read each statement, please tell me whether you strongly agree with it, somewhat agree with it, somewhat disagree with it, or strongly disagree with it.

1. In the absence of violence and extreme conflict, parents who have an unsatisfactory marriage should stay together until their children are grown. 
Agree 43%
Disagree 56% 

2. Divorce is a serious national problem in the United States today.
Agree 94%
Disagree 7%

3. Society would be better off if divorces were harder to get.
Agree 59%
Disagree 41%

4. Couples who marry should make a lifelong commitment to one another, to be broken only under extreme circumstances.
Agree 88%
Disagree 12%

5. Couples who have children together ought to be married.
Agree 74%
Disagree 26%

6. Given how long people are living these days, it is unrealistic to expect a couple to remain married to one another for life,
Agree 21%
Disagree 78%

7. Fathers are as important as mothers for the proper development of children.
Agree 97%
Disagree 3%

8. If they are determined to do so, divorced couples can parent as can most parents who live together.
Agree 47%
Disagree 53%
9. It should be harder for parents of children under age 18 to get a divorce than it is for couples who do not have young children.
Agree 41%
Disagree 59%

10. Either spouse should be allowed to terminate a marriage at any time for any reason.
Agree 29%
Disagree 71%

11. Most married couples I know have happy, healthy marriages.
Agree 73%
Disagree 27%

12. There should be a waiting period of about a year between divorce filing and the time when a divorce can be granted to give the couple a chance to reconsider their decision to divorce.
Agree 73%
Disagree 25%

13. All things being equal, it is better for children to be raised in a household that has a married mother and father.
Agree 89%
Disagree 11%

14. Marriage is an old-fashioned, outmoded institution.
Agree 13%
Disagree 88%

15. All couples considering marriage should be encouraged to get premarital counseling before they marry.
Agree 87%
Disagree 14%

16. All couples considering marriage should be required by law to have premarital counseling before they marry.
Agree 47%
Disagree 53%

17. It is a good idea for couples considering marriage to live together in order to decide whether or not they get along well enough to be married to one another.
Agree 40%
Disagree 61%

18. Which of the following is in your opinion the more important characteristic of a good marriage. It:
Promotes the happiness and well being of the married individuals. 13%
Produces children who are well adjusted and who will become good citizens. 10%
The two are about equally important. 74%
Neither is an important characteristic of a good marriage. 4%

Marital and Relationship History

1. Did your two biological parents marry one another?
Yes, before I was born 91%
Yes, after I was born 4%
No, never married 5%

2. If yes, before or after respondent was born...Have your parents divorced one another?
Yes 23%
No 77%

3. If yes...How old were you when your parents divorced? (Exact age recorded in data set)
Under age 16 75%
Age 16 or older 25%

4. Are you currently married, widowed, divorced, separated, or have you never been married?
Married 60%
Widowed 9%
Divorced 11%
Separated 2%
Never married 18%

5. If widowed, divorced, separated, or never-married...Are you now romantically involved with someone, a man or a woman you think of as a steady, a lover, a partner, or the like?
Yes 39%
No 61%

6. If yes...Do you live with that person?
Yes 38%
No 62%

7. If married, widowed, or separated...Have you ever been divorced?
Yes 23%
No 77%

8. If yes, or if currently divorced...How many times have you been divorced?
Once 75%
Twice 18%
Three times 5%
Four times 2%
Five times 0.2% 
Six times 0.5%

9. Think about your divorce (or your first divorce if divorced more than once). Who filed for the divorce, you or your spouse?
Respondent 66%
Spouse 34%

10. Who was more motivated to end the marriage, you or your spouse, or was the motivation about equal?
Respondent 54%
Spouse 21%
Equal motivation 26%

11. About how many years were you married before you separated? (Exact number recorded in data set)
Fewer than seven 45%
Seven to nineteen 44%
Twenty or more 11%

12. I'm going to read you a list of reasons why marriages fail. Tell me whether or not each factor was a MAJOR reason your marriage (or you first marriage if divorced more than once) failed. Select as many factors as apply.
Getting married too young 46%
Little or no helpful premarriage preparation 41%
Financial problems or economic hardship 28%
Religious differences between partners 13%
Conflict about who should do what around the house and/or with children 22%
Domestic violence 29%
Infidelity, extramarital affairs 55%
Too much conflict and arguing 56%
Lack of commitment by one or both persons to make it work 73%
Lack of support from family members 19%
Unrealistic expectations of marriage by one or both spouses 45%
Lack of equality in the relationship 44%

13. Looking back at your divorce (or first divorce) do you wish that it had been more difficult-from a legal standpoint-to get a divorce?
Yes 20%
No 80%

14. Do you ever wish that you, yourself, had worked harder to save your marriage?
Yes 26%
No 74%

15. Do you ever wish that your spouse had worked harder to save the marriage?
Yes 62%
No 38%

16. Did you have any kind of premarital counseling before you married?
Yes, provided by a church or other religious organization 34%
Yes, provided by a secular marriage counselor 3%
No 63%

If currently married...I'm going to ask you a few questions about your marriage.

17. How long have you been married to your spouse (current spouse)? (Exact number of years recorded in data set) Taking things altogether, how would you describe your marriage? Would you say it is very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?
Very happy 69%
Pretty happy 28%
Not too happy 4%

18. All in all, how satisfied are you with your marriage? Are you completely satisfied, very satisfied, somewhat satisfied, not very satisfied, or not satisfied?
Completely satisfied 50%
Very satisfied 39%
Somewhat satisfied 9%
Not very satisfied 2%
Not at all satisfied 1%

19. Would you marry the same person if you had it to do over again? 
Yes 93%
No 7%

20. Do you expect to be married for life?
Yes 97%
No 3%

21. Since you married (married your current spouse), have you ever considered filing for divorce?
Yes 13%
No 87%

22. Would you attend marriage strengthening classes if they were made available to you at no cost?
Yes 57%
No 43%

23. If widowed or divorced...Would you like to remarry?
Yes 39%
No 61%

Would you attend pre-marital education classes if they were made available to you at no cost?
Yes 73%
No 27%

*Note: Agree percentage equals combined percentage of Agree and Strongly Agree.
*Note: Disagree percentage equals combined percentage of Disagree and Strongly Disagree.
*Note: Respondents who refused to answer, who said "don't know" in response to the question, or for which the question was not applicable are excluded from the base for percentages.
Children of divorce: Unpopularity and Social Skills

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Studies show that children in repeat divorces have lower grades and their peers find them less pleasant to be around.
Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1981), 71. Cited on page77 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

Children of divorce were four times more likely than children in intact families to say they had problems with peers and friends.
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher p. 65, citing Dorothy Tysse and Margaret Crosbie-Burnett, "Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families: A Qualitative and Quantitative Analysis," Journal of Early Adolescence 13, no. 2 (May 1993): 168-182. 

Dr. Wallerstein, both in her own studies and in a review of similar studies, found that there were significant groups of children who, even six years after the breakup of their parents' marriage, were "impulsive, irritable and socially withdrawn" and tended to be "lonely, unhappy, anxious, and insecure." 
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum, citing Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., "The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children: A Review," Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, May 1991, p. 352.

"Two researchers have discovered, for example, that children from disrupted families are more isolated than children from stable marriages, that they depend more on teachers, counselors, and baby-sitters for support while at the same time perceiving these 'outsiders' as sources of family conflict. The children from disrupted families are also more dissatisfied with the support they receive from friends.
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher p. 27, citing Sylvie Drapeau and C. Bouchard, "Support Networks and Adjustment Among 6- to 11- Year Olds from Marital Disrupted and Intact Families," Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 19 (1993): 75-97. 

"A number of researchers also found that children of divorce, especially boys, were more aggressive than children whose parents stayed married."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher p. 35, citing Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce, and Children's Adjustment (Newbury Park, Calif.: Sage Publication, 1988), 50-54.
Children of divorce: Educational achievement

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-Rapists, murderers, lifers, dropouts, abuse victims: mostly from broken homes
-Effects of divorce on low-income boys (1994 Cornell U. study)


On June 4, 2002, USA Today reported on a new study, "which uses a
government-sponsored database, examined nearly 10,000 adolescents at four
points in time: at three years and at one year before the divorce, and one
year and three years after it. The study finds that the psychological
damage builds before the divorce and dissipates after it, but academic
progress continues to weaken. The researchers, at Ohio State University,
speculate that the children initially may fall behind academically and not
be able to catch up, or that once they fall behind, they lose self-esteem
and motivation. The study appears in the current issue of the Journal of
Marriage and Family."
--Smart Marriages listserv's summary of "DIVORCE DETRIMENTAL TO KIDS' ACADEMICS"-- USA Today June 4, 2002

High school counselor Barry Ham of the Academy School District in Colorado Springs, Colorado, has recently concluded that parental divorce hurts female high school students more than it hurts their male peers. In parsing data collected for 265 high school seniors, Ham established that "those students from intact families outperform those students from divorced families across all categories." More specifically, in multi-variable statistical analysis Ham calculated that students from intact families maintained grade point averages (GPAs) 11% higher than those of peers from divorced families (p < .05). The lower grades probably reflect, at least in part, differences in attendance: "the high school seniors from divorced households missed almost 60% more class periods than did those from intact families." "The most surprising finding," Ham remarks, "was that these results were most pronounced for females." Ham's analyses indicate that "for both grades and attendance ... females were more greatly impacted negatively by divorce than were males." 
-- (Source: Barry D. Ham, "The Effects of Divorce on the Academic Achievement of High School Seniors," Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 38.3/4 [2003]: 167-185.) Abstract above is from the World Congress of Families, Family Update Online, Vol. 5, No. 17, 4/27/04


Dr. Dawson's review of the National Health Interview Survey of Child Health found that "children from disrupted marriages were over 70 percent more likely than those living with both biological parents to have been expelled or suspended."
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum, citing Deborah A. Dawson, "Family Structure and Children's Health and Well-being: Data from the National Health Interview Survey on Child Health," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, p. 578. 

A 1993 study by Dr. Nicholas Zill, et. al., found that children of divorce were twice as likely as children from intact families to drop out of school. This pattern remained even years after the divorce.
Brian Willats, Breaking Up is Easy To Do, available from Michigan Family Forum, citing Nicholas Zill, Donna Morrison, and Mary Jo Coiro, "Long-term Effects of Parental Divorce on Parent-Child Relationships, Adjustment, and Achievement in Young Adulthood," Journal of Family Psychology, 7:1, pp. 91, 100. Cited in Glenn T. Stanton, M.A., The Social Significance of the Traditional Two-Parent Family: The Impact of Its Breakdown on the Lives of Children, Adults, and Societies (Colorado Springs, CO: Focus on the Family, 1995), p. 13. 

"[A] University of Rhode Island study found that boys without fathers at home scored lower on achievement tests even after controlling for IQ and socioeconomic status."
Henry B. Biller and Richard Solomon of the University of Rhode Island, Child Maltreatment and Paternal Deprivation: A Manifesto (Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1986). Cited on page95 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher 

"A 1988 University of Illinois study of [2,500] young men and women concluded that, even after adjusting for family income, the absence of a father significantly reduced the educational attainment of boys."
Study by Sheila Krein and Andrea H. Beller of the University of Illinois. "Educational Attainment of Children from Single Families: Differences by Exposure, Gender, and Race," Demography 25 (May 1988): 221-234. Cited on page 95 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"One recent study of [9,000] Swedish families found that, even after controlling for parental education, teenagers living with only their mothers scored lower in educational aptitude and achievement than those with two parents."
The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher p. 241, citing Asa Murray and Karin Sandovist, "Fathers' Absence and Children's Achievement from Age 13 to 21," Scandinavian Journal of Education Research 34, no. 1 (1990): 3-28. 

"More than one in three children of broken families drop out of school."
R.F. Doyle, The Rape of the Male (St. Paul, Minn: Poor Richard's Press, 1976), p. 145, citing Starke Hathaway and Elio Monachesi, Adolescent Personality and Behavior, p. 81. Cited in Amneus, The Garbage Generation, page 253

"Studies show that children in repeat divorces have lower grades and their peers find them less pleasant to be around."
Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1981), 71. Cited on page77 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"Teens from single-parent homes are twice as likely to drop out of high school [or to] become teen parents, and one-and-one-half times more likely to stay at home has young adults."
McLanahan and Sandefur, Growing Up. Cited on page34 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"Children [who] are close to their stepparents are more likely to be satisfied with their family and do better in school. But children from a family that consists of both biological parents are still more likely to be more satisfied and doing better in school."
Furstenberg and Cherlin, "Divided Families," 14. Cited on page76 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"Stepparents and noncustodial parents are far less willing to lay out cash for college than parents in intact marriages."
Gary D. Sandefur, Sara McLanahan, and Roger A. Wojtkiewicz, "The Effects of Parental Marital Status During Adolescence on High School Graduation," Social Forces 71, no. 1 (1992): 103-121. Cited on page71 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher. See also Barbara Grissis, "Effects of Parental Divorce on Children's Financial Support for college." Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 22, no. 1/2 (1994): 155ff. 

'"In Judith Wallerstein's study only one-third of affluent divorced fathers chose to help pay for college. Ten years after their parents' divorce, 60 percent of young adults were on a downward educational course compared with their fathers." p. 156-157. Thus "White, educated, upper-middle-class children - the very class for whom divorce is thought to be least a problem, because the kids are least likely to end up on welfare or in jail-may be among those hardest hit by the collapse of marriage." ... children with chronic emotional disturbance or severe learning disabilities were screened out. At the time of the divorce, the children were all doing well in school and had never been referred for mental health services.' The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, page 44
________________________________________
Examining the Effects of Parental Absence on the Academic Achievement of
Adolescents: The Challenge of Controlling for Family Income
By William H. Jeynes ([email protected])
Journal of Family and Economic Issues Vol. 23, Num. 2, Summer 2002, pp.189-210
Journal website: Journal of Family and Economic Issues
ABSTRACT:
Increasingly, researchers are concerned about how to best control for
family income when examining the effects of parental divorce and the death
of a parent on the children's academic achievement. Some researchers have
argued that a predissolution control is preferable over a postdissolution
control for family income, because parental divorce or the death of a
parent nearly always causes family income reduction. Using the National
Educational Longitudinal Study 1988-92 data set, this study has examined
whether using a predissolution control for family income yields a different
pattern of effects from when a postdissolution control is used. The results
indicate that using a predissolution control rather than a postdissolution
control for family income does yield a different pattern of effects.
________________________________________

Fawson, Bosworth, Davidson, "More Than Money: The Influence of Family
Structure on Prosperity and Educational Attainment", 2005 Sutherland J.L.& 
Pub. Pol'y L24, at http://www.sjlpp.org/documents/fawson.pdf
Does divorce reduce children's exposure to family conflict?

Part of the Divorce Statistics Collection, from Americans for Divorce Reform
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"Research seems to suggest that the marriage must be under intense and consistent conflict before it can be considered better for the children if the parents get a divorce."
Joseph Hopper, "The Rhetoric of Motives in Divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family 55 (November 1993): 806. Cited on page101 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"Significantly more child behavioral problems are found in those families that have an unsatisfactory marriage than in those with a happy marriage, but the behavioral problems from the single-parent families are far worse than in unhappily married families."
"No-Fault Divorce: Proposed Solutions to a National Tragedy," 1993 Journal of Legal Studies 2, 22, citing Carolyn Webster-Stratton, The Relationship of Marital Support, Conflict, and Divorce to Parents' Perceptions, Behaviors, and Childhood Conduct Problems, 51 JOURNAL OF MARR. AND THE FAMILY417-430 (1989).

"Children from divorced families are caught in the middle of parental conflicts
significantly more often and experience more stress than children from intact homes. "
Kurkowski, K., Gordon, D.A., & Arbuthnot, J. (1993). Children caught in the
middle: A brief educational intervention for parents. Journal of Divorce and
Remarriage, 20, 139-151. Cited at Divorce Education Programs For Parents and Children


----------



## matt (Apr 2, 2009)

70 % of divorces end "low-conflict" marriages
"Wallerstein and others who stress the high cost of divorce raise hackles
among those committed to the view that children are better off when a
bad marriage ends. But a new study of family upheaval by sociologists
Paul Amato of the University of Nebraska and Alan Booth of Pennsylvania
State University underlines some important distinctions. According to
their research, reported in their 1997 book A Generation at Risk, the
worst situations for children are high-conflict marriages that last and
low-conflict marriages that end in divorce. And it turns out that most
divorces fall into the latter category: A whopping 70 percent of
divorces end "low-conflict" marriages. "For children's sake," Amato and
Booth conclude, "some marriages should not be salvaged. But in marriages
that are not fraught with severe conflict and abuse, future generations
would be well served if parents remained together until children are grown."
From "The Anti-Divorce Revolution" in the Weekly Standanrd, Dec. 1997, http://www.smartmarriages.com/weeklystandard.html

"Constance Ahrons's 1994 book The Good Divorce is a decidedly optimistic
account of middle-class divorced couples. Yet she found that just 12 percent
of divorced parents are able to create friendly, low-conflict relationships
after divorce. Fifty percent of middle-class divorced couples engage in
bitter, open conflict as "angry associates," or worse, "fiery foes." Five
years afterwards, most of these angry divorced [couples] remain mired in hostility.
Nearly a third of friendly divorces degenerate into open, angry conflict."
Gallagher in "End No-Fault Divorce?" (Maggie Gallagher debates Barbara Dafoe Whitehead) in First Things 75 (August/September 1997) Citing Constance Ahrons, The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart (Harper Collins Publications, 1994)

"These statistics are matched by what Judith Wallerstein found in her
(nonrandom) sample of mostly middle-class couples: Ten years after the
divorce, fully half the women were still very angry at their ex-spouse. "True,
some couples were no longer standing in the same kitchen screaming at one
another; they were screaming on the telephone instead," points out Wallerstein
in her 1989 book Second Chances."
Gallagher in "End No-Fault Divorce?" (Maggie Gallagher debates Barbara Dafoe Whitehead) in First Things 75 (August/September 1997)

"Here is a question few have bothered to ask: Does divorce lead to less conflict? One reason very few inquiring minds wanted to know the answer is that the assumption that divorce ends marital conflict is built into the very language of social science. "Marital conflict" is a label that implies its own solution: To put an end to marital conflict, you only have to put an end to the marriage. But of course what really bothers the children is not that two spouses are fighting, but that their parents are fighting. Yet divorce advocates frequently compare angry marriages to low-conflict divorces on the magical assumption that a piece of paper called a divorce will put an end to parental fighting. In other words, they compare an exaggerated vision of bad marriage with the phantom virtues of the ideal divorce."
Page102 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"Divorce often causes a bitter dispute between the parents, even worse than before the divorce was decided upon. Two-thirds of angry divorces remain that way after 5 years of being separated, and one-quarter to one-third of those divorces that were initially in good spirits had degenerated to open conflicts."
Wallerstein and Blakeslee, Second Chances. Cited on page103 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"The more one learns about the crime of domestic violence, the less likely
it seems that the formal mechanisms of divorce law have much influence one way
or another in helping women escape their batterers. For one thing, most
batterers are not husbands. A 1991 Justice Department survey, for example,
found that more than two-thirds of domestic violence offenders were boyfriends
or ex-spouses, while just 9 percent were spouses. Cohabitating women,
according to one review of the literature, are four times more likely to
suffer severe violence than married women."
Gallagher in "End No-Fault Divorce?" (Maggie Gallagher debates Barbara Dafoe Whitehead) in First Things 75 (August/September 1997)

"A third of friendly divorces turn into bitter disputes, often sparked by the remarriage of one or both of the ex-partners."
Constance Ahrons, The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart (Harper Collins Publications, 1994), 52-59. Cited on page103 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher

"A study conducted at the University of Washington divided 117 households into three categories: "maritally distressed", "maritally supported", and "unmarried mothers," and found that children of the families that had marital distress had significantly higher disciplinary problems than children from families that reported a happy marriage, but those children of unmarried mothers had a considerably higher amount of disciplinary problems that those who were from the other two categories."
Carolyn Webster Stratton, "Marital Support," 417-430. Cited on page106 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher
Fact Sheet on Divorce in America
Glenn T. Stanton
The following data is taken from Stanton's book, Why Marriage Matters: Reasons to Believe in Marriage in Post-Modern Society, September 1997, Pinon Press with permission.

"[T]he fastest growing marital status category was divorced persons. The number [of] currently divorced adults quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 17.4 million in 1994."
-Arlene Saluter, Marital Status and Living Arrangements: March 1994 , U.S.. Bureau of the Census, March 1996; series P20-484, p, vi..
In 1970, 3% of all people over 18 years of age were divorced. In 1994, that number had climbed to 9%.
Ibid. ,table A-1
The Journal of Marriage and the Family reports that "no-fault divorce law had a significant positive effect on the divorce rate across the 50 states." ensuring America's place as the unrivaled leader in the worldwide divorce race.
. Paul A. Nakonezny, Robert D. Schull and Joseph Lee Rodgers, "The Effect of No-Fault Divorce Law on the Divorce Rate Across the 50 States and Its Relation to Income, Education and Religiosity," Journal of Marriage and the Family , 1995, 57:477-488; Ailsa Burns and Cath Scott, Mother Headed Families and Why They Have Increased , (Hillsdale, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers, 1994), p. 5,9.
Divorce and Alcoholism
Marital Status % of Lifetime Prevalence
Intact Marriage 8.9
Never Married or Cohabited 15.0
One Divorce or Separation 16.2
More than one Div. or Sep. 24.2
Cohabited only 29.2
Lee Robins and Darrel Regier, Psychiatric Disorders in America: The Epidemiologic Catchment Area Study (New York: Free Press, 1991), p. 103.
Divorce and Suicide
The relative risk of suicide for each marital status falls as follows:
Marital Status Relative Risk
Married 1.0
Never Married 1.9
Widowed 2.8
Divorced 2.9
Jack C. Smith, James A. Mercy and Judith M. Conn, "Marital Status and the Risk of Suicide," American Journal of Public Health , 1988, 78:78-80.

Divorce and Depression
The National Institute of Mental Health found that women in cohabiting relationships had much greater rates of depression than women in married relationships (second only to those twice divorced). The numbers fall as follows (annual rate of incident of depression per 100):
Married (never divorced) 1.5
Never married 2.4
Divorced once 4.1
Divorced twice 5.8
Cohabiting 5.1
Lee Robins and Darrel Regier, Psychiatric Disorders in America: The Epidemiologic Catchment Area Study (New York: Free Press, 1991), p. 64.

Divorce and. General Mental Illness
Robins and Regier found that the prevalence of suffering from any psychiatric disorder over a lifetime was significantly lower for those in a legal marriage.
Marital Status Lifetime Prevalence
Married, never div/sep 24
Single, never cohabit 33
Divorced/Separated 44
Unmarried Cohabiting 52
Robins and Regier, 1991, p. 334.

Divorce and Loneliness
One random sample of over 8,600 adults revealed the specific percentages of those who felt less lonely:
Marital Status % Lonely
Married 4.6
Never Married 14.5
Divorced 20.4
Widowed 20.6
Separated 29.6

This finding is even more striking given the author's definition of loneliness being the "absence of satisfying social relationships" as opposed to merely the close presence of other people.
Randy M. Page and Galen E. Cole, "Demographic Predictors of Self-Reported Loneliness in Adults," Psychological Reports , 1991, 68:939-945.
Divorce and Child Well Being
A. High-School Drop-out:
According to each of the four surveys analyzed by Drs. Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, with each data set adjusting for race, sex, parental education, number of siblings and place of residence, the percentages of risk for high school drop out according to family type are as follows:
Source Two-Parents Single Parent
National Longitudinal
Survey of Youth
(NLSY) 13% 29%
Panel Study of
Income Dynamics
(PSID) 15% 25%
High School and Beyond
(HSB) 9% 16%
National Survey of
Families and Households
(NSFH) 9% 17%
Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps , (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 41.

B. Idleness (a precursor to crime)
The percentages for males and females at risk of being out of school and out of work fall as follows and all the differences were statistically significant:
Study Population Two-Parent Families Single Parent
Males
NLSY 12% 17%
PSID 19% 29%
HSB 9% 12%
Females
NLSY 16% 28%
PSID 26% 41%
HSB 18% 24%
McLanahan and Sandefur, 1994, p. 50.
C. Pre-Marital Births
The risks for teen births for unmarried women are as follows:
Study Population Two-Parents One-Parent
NLSY 11% 27%
PSID 14% 31%
HSB* 14% 19%
NSFH 20% 30%
* [Adolescent girls who became pregnant in school are less likely to finish high school. This accounts for the smaller disparity between the two family forms in a school-based survey like The High School and Beyond Study (HSB).]
McLanahan and Sandefur, 1994, p. 53.
D. General Health Measures
Dr. Dawson found among the different family types:
* ...health vulnerability scores from 20% to 35% higher than those for children living with both biological parents.
* ...predicted risk of injury was about 20% to 30% greater for children from disrupted marriages than for other children.
* Children living with formerly married mothers had a 50% greater risk of having asthma in the preceding 12 months.
* ...an increased risk of speech defects among children living with never-married mothers.
* ...the observed proportion reported to have received professional help for emotional or behavior problems in the preceding year varied from 2.7% for children living with both biological parents to 8.8% for children living with formerly married mothers. For children living with never-married mothers or with mothers and stepfathers, the respective proportions were 4.4% and 6.6%.
Deborah A. Dawson, "Family Structure and Children's Health and Well-Being: Data from the 1988 National Heath Interview Survey on Child Health," Journal of Marriage and the Family,1991, 53:573-584.
E. Divorce and Adolescent Mental Health
Relying on data from the 1988 National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Deborah Dawson found that the percentage of children receiving professional help for emotional or behavioral problems in the year preceding the health interview were as followed:
Children living with % receiving help
Both biological parents 2.7%
Formerly married mothers 8.8%
Never married mothers 4.4%
Mothers and Stepfathers 6.6%
Dawson, 1991, p. 578.








Does Divorce Make People Happy? 
Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages

By Linda J. Waite, Don Browning, William J. Doherty, Maggie Gallagher, Ye Luo, and Scott M. Stanley 
	Press Release 
	Read the report: PDF version | Text Only version 
	Tables: Table 1 | Table 2 | Table 3 | Table 4 | Table 5 | Table 6 | 
	USA Today Article 7-11-02 


Press Release


Major New Study:

Does Divorce Make People Happy?
Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages

Call it the "divorce assumption." Most people assume that a person stuck in a bad marriage has two choices: stay married and miserable or get a divorce and become happier.1 But now come the findings from the first scholarly study ever to test that assumption, and these findings challenge conventional wisdom. Conducted by a team of leading family scholars headed by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, the study found no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. 

Even more dramatically, the researchers also found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later. In addition, the most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later.2

The research team used data collected by the National Survey of Family and Households, a nationally representative survey that extensively measures personal and marital happiness. Out of 5,232 married adults interviewed in the late Eighties, 645 reported being unhappily married. Five years later, these same adults were interviewed again. Some had divorced or separated and some had stayed married. 

The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. This was true even after controlling for race, age, gender, and income. Even unhappy spouses who had divorced and remarried were no happier on average than those who stayed married. "Staying married is not just for the childrens' sake. Some divorce is necessary, but results like these suggest the benefits of divorce have been oversold," says Linda J. Waite.

Why doesn't divorce typically make adults happier? The authors of the study suggest that while eliminating some stresses and sources of potential harm, divorce may create others as well. The decision to divorce sets in motion a large number of processes and events over which an individual has little control that are likely to deeply affect his or her emotional well-being. These include the response of one's spouse to divorce; the reactions of children; potential disappointments and aggravation in custody, child support, and visitation orders; new financial or health stresses for one or both parents; and new relationships or marriages.

The team of family experts that conducted the study included Linda J. Waite, Lucy Flower Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago and coauthor of The Case for Marriage; Don Browning, Professor Emeritus of the University of Chicago Divinity School; William J. Doherty, Professor of Family Social Science and Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy program at the University of Minnesota; Maggie Gallagher, affiliate scholar at the Institute for American Values and coauthor of The Case for Marriage; Ye Luo, a research associate at the Sloan Center on Parents, Children and Work at the University of Chicago; and Scott Stanley, Co-Director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. 

Marital Turnarounds: How Do Unhappy Marriages Get Happier?

To follow up on the dramatic findings that two-thirds of unhappy marriages had become happy five years later, the researchers also conducted focus group interviews with 55 formerly unhappy husbands and wives who had turned their marriages around. They found that many currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness, often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals. 

Why did these marriages survive where other marriages did not? Spouses' stories of how their marriages got happier fell into three broad headings: the marital endurance ethic, the marital work ethic, and the personal happiness ethic.
•	In the marital endurance ethic, the most common story couples reported to researchers, marriages got happier not because partners resolved problems, but because they stubbornly outlasted them. With the passage of time, these spouses said, many sources of conflict and distress eased: financial problems, job reversals, depression, child problems, even infidelity. 
•	In the marital work ethic, spouses told stories of actively working to solve problems, change behavior, or improve communication. When the problem was solved, the marriage got happier. Strategies for improving marriages mentioned by spouses ranged from arranging dates or other ways to more time together, enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws, to consulting clergy or secular counselors, to threatening divorce and consulting divorce attorneys. 
•	Finally, in the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to change that much. Instead married people in these accounts told stories of finding alternative ways to improve their own happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage. 
The Powerful Effects of Commitment

Spouses interviewed in the focus groups whose marriages had turned around generally had a low opinion of the benefits of divorce, as well as friends and family members who supported the importance of staying married. Because of their intense commitment to their marriages, these couples invested great effort in enduring or overcoming problems in their relationships, they minimized the importance of difficulties they couldn't resolve, and they actively worked to belittle the attractiveness of alternatives. 

The study's findings are consistent with other research demonstrating the powerful effects of marital commitment on marital happiness. A strong commitment to marriage as an institution, and a powerful reluctance to divorce, do not merely keep unhappily married people locked in misery together. They also help couples form happier bonds. To avoid divorce, many assume, marriages must become happier. But it is at least equally true that in order to get happier, unhappy couples or spouses must first avoid divorce. "In most cases, a strong commitment to staying married not only helps couples avoid divorce, it helps more couples achieve a happier marriage," notes research team member Scott Stanley. 

Would most unhappy spouses who divorced have ended up happily married if they had stuck with their marriages? 

The researchers who conduced the study cannot say for sure whether unhappy spouses who divorced would have become happy had they stayed with their marriages. In most respects, unhappy spouses who divorced and unhappy spouses who stayed married looked more similar than different (before the divorce) in terms of their psychological adjustment and family background. While unhappy spouses who divorced were on average younger, had lower household incomes, were more likely to be employed or to have children in the home, these differences were typically not large.

Were the marriages that ended in divorce much worse than those that did not? There is some evidence for this point of view. Unhappy spouses who divorced reported more conflict and were about twice as likely to report violence in their marriage than unhappy spouses who stayed married. However, marital violence occurred in only a minority of unhappy marriages: 21 percent of unhappy spouses who divorced reported husband-to-wife violence, compared to nine percent of unhappy spouses who stayed married. 

On the other hand, if only the worst marriages ended up in divorce, one would expect divorce to be associated with important psychological benefits. Instead, researchers found that unhappily married adults who divorced were no more likely to report emotional and psychological improvements than those who stayed married. In addition, the most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later.

More research is needed to establish under what circumstances divorce improves or lessens adult well-being, as well as what kinds of unhappy marriages are most or least likely to improve if divorce is avoided.

Other Findings 

Other findings of the study based on the National Survey Data are: 
•	The vast majority of divorces (74 percent) took place to adults who had been happily married when first studied five years earlier. In this group, divorce was associated with dramatic declines in happiness and psychological well-being compared to those who stayed married. 
•	Unhappy marriages are less common than unhappy spouses; three out of four unhappily married adults are married to someone who is happy with the marriage. 
•	Staying married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships. Eighty-six percent of unhappily married adults reported no violence in their relationship (including 77 percent of unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated). Ninety-three percent of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce reported no violence in their marriage five years later. 

Endnotes

1. Examples of the "divorce assumption:" In a review of Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well by Ashton Applewhite in Kirkus Reviews, the reviewer writes that "if Applewhite's figures are correct, three-fourths of today's divorces are initiated by women, and if her analysis of the situation is correct, they are better off, at least psychologically, for having taken the big step." The book's publisher describes the book this way: "Cutting Loose introduces 50 women . . . who have thrived after initiating their own divorces. . . . [T]heir lives improved immeasurably, and their self-esteem soared." In an oped in the New York Times, Katha Pollit asks, "The real question . . . [is] which is better, a miserable two-parent home, with lots of fighting and shouting and frozen silences and tears, or a one-parent home (or a pair of one-parent homes) without those things" (June 27, 1997). In a review of The Good Divorce by Constance R. Ahrons in Booklist, we are told that Ms. Ahrons "offers advice and explanations to troubled couples for whom 'staying together for the sake of the children' is not a healthy or viable option." 

2. Spouses were asked to rate their overall marital happiness on a 7-point scale, with 1 being the least happy and 7 the most happy. Those who rated their marriage as a 1 or 2 were considered to be very unhappy in their marriages. Almost 8 out of 10 adults who rated their marriage as a 1 or 2 gave that same marriage a 5 or more when asked to rate their marriage five years later. 

The Top Ten Myths of Divorce
Discussion of the most common misinformation about divorce
David Popenoe
________________________________________
1 Because people learn from their bad experiences, second marriages tend to be more successful than first marriages. 
Although many people who divorce have successful subsequent marriages, the divorce rate of remarriages is in fact higher than that of first marriages.1 [Sources]
2 Living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the chances of eventually divorcing. 
Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have a considerably higher chance of eventually divorcing. The reasons for this are not well understood. In part, the type of people who are willing to cohabit may also be those who are more willing to divorce. There is some evidence that the act of cohabitation itself generates attitudes in people that are more conducive to divorce, for example the attitude that relationships are temporary and easily can be ended.2 [Sources] 
3 Divorce may cause problems for many of the children who are affected by it, but by and large these problems are not long lasting and the children recover relatively quickly. 
Divorce increases the risk of interpersonal problems in children. There is evidence, both from small qualitative studies and from large-scale, long-term empirical studies, that many of these problems are long lasting. In fact, they may even become worse in adulthood.3 [Sources] 
4 Having a child together will help a couple to improve their marital satisfaction and prevent a divorce. 
Many studies have shown that the most stressful time in a marriage is after the first child is born. Couples who have a child together have a slightly decreased risk of divorce compared to couples without children, but the decreased risk is far less than it used to be when parents with marital problems were more likely to stay together “for the sake of the children.”4[Sources] 
5 Following divorce, the woman’s standard of living plummets by seventy three percent while that of the man’s improves by forty two percent. 
This dramatic inequity, one of the most widely publicized statistics from the social sciences, was later found to be based on a faulty calculation. A reanalysis of the data determined that the woman’s loss was twenty seven percent while the man’s gain was ten percent. Irrespective of the magnitude of the differences, the gender gap is real and seems not to have narrowed much in recent decades.5 [Sources]
6 When parents don’t get along, children are better off if their parents divorce than if they stay together. 
A recent large-scale, long-term study suggests otherwise. While it found that parents’ marital unhappiness and discord have a broad negative impact on virtually every dimension of their children’s well-being, so does the fact of going through a divorce. In examining the negative impacts on children more closely, the study discovered that it was only the children in very high conflict homes who benefited from the conflict removal that divorce may bring. In lower-conflict marriages that end in divorce—and the study found that perhaps as many as two thirds of the divorces were of this type—the situation of the children was made much worse following a divorce. Based on the findings of this study, therefore, except in the minority of high-conflict marriages it is better for the children if their parents stay together and work out their problems than if they divorce.6 [Sources]
7 Because they are more cautious in entering marital relationships and also have a strong determination to avoid the possibility of divorce, children who grow up in a home broken by divorce tend to have as much success in their own marriages as those from intact homes. 
Marriages of the children of divorce actually have a much higher rate of divorce than the marriages of children from intact families. A major reason for this, according to a recent study, is that children learn about marital commitment or permanence by observing their parents. In the children of divorce, the sense of commitment to a lifelong marriage has been undermined.7 [Sources] 
8 Following divorce, the children involved are better off in stepfamilies than in single-parent families. 
The evidence suggests that stepfamilies are no improvement over single-parent families, even though typically income levels are higher and there is a father figure in the home. Stepfamilies tend to have their own set of problems, including interpersonal conflicts with new parent figures and a very high risk of family breakup.8 [Sources]
9 Being very unhappy at certain points in a marriage is a good sign that the marriage will eventually end in divorce. 
All marriages have their ups and downs. Recent research using a large national sample found that eighty six percent of people who were unhappily married in the late 1980s, and stayed with the marriage, indicated when interviewed five years later that they were happier. Indeed, three fifths of the formerly unhappily married couples rated their marriages as either “very happy” or “quite happy.”9 [Sources] 
10 It is usually men who initiate divorce proceedings 
Two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. One recent study found that many of the reasons for this have to do with the nature of our divorce laws. For example, in most states women have a good chance of receiving custody of their children. Because women more strongly want to keep their children with them, in states where there is a presumption of shared custody with the husband the percentage of women who initiate divorces is much lower.10 [Sources] Also, the higher rate of women initiators is probably due to the fact that men are more likely to be "badly behaved." Husbands, for example, are more likely than wives to have problems with drinking, drug abuse, and infidelity. 
Sources 
1 Joshua R. Goldstein, “The Leveling of Divorce in the United States” Demography 36 (1999): 409-414; Andrew Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1992) [back to text] 
2 Alfred DeMaris and K. Vaninadha Rao, “Premartial Cohabitation and Marital Instability in the United States: A Reassessment” Journal of Marriage and the Family 54 (1992): 178-190; Pamela J. Smock, “Cohabitation in the United States” Annual Review of Sociology 26 (2000) [back to text] 
3 Judith Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis and Sandra Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (New York: Hyperion, 2000); Andrew J. Cherlin, P. Lindsay Chase-Landsdale, and Christine McRae, “Effects of Parental Divorce on Mental Health Throughout the Life Course” American Sociological Review 63 (1998): 239-249; Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, A Generation at Risk (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1997) [back to text] 
4 Tim B. Heaton, “Marital Stability Throughout the Child-rearing Years” Demography 27 (1990): 55-63; Linda Waite and Lee A. Lillard, “Children and Marital Disruption” American Journal of Sociology 96 (1991): 930-953; Carolyn Pape Cowan and Philip A. Cowan, When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples (New York: Basic Books, 1992) [back to text] 
5 Leonore J. Weitzman, “The Economics of Divorce: Social and Economic Consequences of Property, Alimony, and Child Support Awards” UCLA Law Review 28 (August, 1981): 1251; Richard R. Peterson, “A Re-Evaluation of the Economic Consequences of Divorce” American Sociological Review 61 (June, 1996): 528-536; Pamela J. Smock, “The Economic Costs of Marital Disruption for Young Women over the Past Two Decades” Demography 30 (August, 1993): 353-371 [back to text] 
6 Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, A Generation at Risk (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1997) [back to text] 
7 Paul R. Amato, “What Children Learn From Divorce” Population Today, (Washington, DC: Population Reference Bureau, January 2001); Nicholas H. Wolfinger, “Beyond the Intergenerational Transmission of Divorce” Journal of Family Issues 21-8 (2000): 1061-1086 [back to text] 
8 Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up With a Single Parent (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1994); Alan Booth and Judy Dunn (eds.), Stepfamilies: Who Benefits? Who Does Not? (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1994) [back to text] 
9 Unpublished research by Linda J. Waite, cited in Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000): 148 [back to text] 
10 Margaret F. Brinig and Douglas A. Allen, “’These Boots Are Made For Walking”: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women” American Law and Economics Review 2-1 (2000): 126-169 [back to text] 
The Top Ten Myths of Marriage
David Popenoe
1. Marriage benefits men much more than women.
Contrary to earlier and widely publicized reports, recent research finds men and women to benefit about equally from marriage, although in different ways. Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives when they are married. Husbands typically gain greater health benefits while wives gain greater financial advantages.1 [Source] 
2. Having children typically brings a married couple closer together and increases marital happiness.
Many studies have shown that the arrival of the first baby commonly has the effect of pushing the mother and father farther apart, and bringing stress to the marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.2 [Sources]
3. The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love.
Rather than luck and love, the most common reasons couples give for their long-term marital success are commitment and companionship. They define their marriage as a creation that has taken hard work, dedication and commitment (to each other and to the institution of marriage). The happiest couples are friends who share lives and are compatible in interests and values.3 [Sources]
4. The more educated a woman becomes, the lower are her chances of getting married.
A recent study based on marriage rates in the mid-1990s concluded that today’s women college graduates are more likely to marry than their non-college peers, despite their older age at first marriage. This is a change from the past, when women with more education were less likely to marry.4 [Sources] 
5. Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.
Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up. One reason is that people who cohabit may be more skittish of commitment and more likely to call it quits when problems arise. But in addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest "there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills." (One important exception: cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the near future have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don’t live together before marriage).5 [Sources] 
6. People can’t be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.
Unless our comparison goes back a hundred years, there is no basis for this belief. The enormous increase in longevity is due mainly to a steep reduction in infant mortality. And while adults today can expect to live a little longer than their grandparents, they also marry at a later age. The life span of a typical, divorce-free marriage, therefore, has not changed much in the past fifty years. Also, many couples call it quits long before they get to a significant anniversary: half of all divorces take place by the seventh year of a marriage. 6 [Sources] 
7. Marrying puts a woman at greater risk of domestic violence than if she remains single.
Contrary to the proposition that for men "a marriage license is a hitting license," a large body of research shows that being unmarried—and especially living with a man outside of marriage—is associated with a considerably higher risk of domestic violence for women. One reason for this finding is that married women may significantly underreport domestic violence. Further, women are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce a man who is violent. Yet it is probably also the case that married men are less likely to commit domestic violence because they are more invested in their wives’ wellbeing, and more integrated into the extended family and community. These social forces seem to help check men’s violent behavior.7 [Sources] 
8. Married people have less satisfying sex lives, and less sex, than single people.
According to a large-scale national study, married people have both more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts. Not only do they have sex more often but they enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally.8 [Sources] 
9. Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without "the piece of paper."
Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits—in physical health, wealth, and emotional wellbeing—that marriage does. In terms of these benefits cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the wellbeing of their partner.9 [Sources] 
10. Because of the high divorce rate, which weeds out the unhappy marriages, people who stay married have happier marriages than people did in the past when everyone stuck it out, no matter how bad the marriage.
According to what people have reported in several large national surveys, the general level of happiness in marriages has not increased and probably has declined slightly. Some studies have found in recent marriages, compared to those of twenty or thirty years ago, significantly more work-related stress, more marital conflict and less marital interaction.10 [Sources] 
________________________________________
1 The research on this topic is reviewed in Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000): Ch. 12 [back to text] 
2 Carolyn Pape Cowan and Philip A. Cowan, When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples (New York: Basic Books, 1992); Jay Belsky and John Kelly, The Transition to Parenthood (NewYork: Dell, 1994); Tim B. Heaton, "Marital Stability Throughout the Child-rearing Years" Demography 27 (1990):55-63; Linda Waite and Lee A. Lillard, "Children and Marital Disruption" American Journal of Sociology 96 (1991):930-953 [back to text] 
3 Finnegan Alford-Cooper, For Keeps: Marriages the Last a Lifetime (Armonk, NY: M. E. Sharpe, 1998); Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee. The Good Marriage (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1995); Robert Lauer and Jeanette Lauer, "Factors in Long-Term Marriage" Journal of Family Issues 7:4 (1986): 382-390 [back to text] 
4 Joshua R. Goldstein and Catherine T. Kenney, "Marriage Delayed or Marriage Forgone? New Cohort Forecasts of First Marriage for U. S. Women" American Sociological Review 66 (2001):506-519 [back to text] 
5 Alfred DeMaris and K. Vaninadha Rao, "Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Instability in the United States: A Reassessment" Journal of Marriage and the Family 54 (1992):178-190; Pamela J. Smock, "Cohabitation in the United States" Annual Review of Sociology 26 (2000); William G. Axinn and Jennifer S. Barber, "Living Arrangements and Family Formation Attitudes in Early Adulthood" Journal of Marriage and the Family 59 (1997):595-611; Susan L. Brown, "The Effect of Union Type on Psychological Well-Being: Depression Among Cohabitors Versus Marrieds" Journal of Health and Social Behavior 41 (2000):241-55; Catherine L. Cohan and Stacey Kleinbaum, "Toward a Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Communication" Journal of Marriage and the Family 64 (2002): 180-192 [back to text] 
6 Norval D. Glenn, "A Critique of Twenty Family and Marriage and Family Textbooks" Family Relations 46-3 (1997):197-208 [back to text] 
7 Jan E. Stets, "Cohabiting and Marital Aggression: The Role of Social Isolation" Journal of Marriage and the Family 53 (1991):669-680; Richard J. Gelles, Intimate Violence in Families, 3rd ed. (Thousand Oaks, CA: 1997); Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000): Ch. 11 [back to text] 
8 Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner, "Emotional and Physical Satisfaction with Sex in Married, Cohabiting, and Dating Sexual Unions: Do Men and Women Differ?" Pp. 239-269 in E. O. Laumann and R. T. Michael, eds., Sex, Love, and Health in America (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2001); Edward O. Laumann, J. H. Gagnon, R. T. Michael and S. Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 1994) [back to text] 
9 Stephen L. Nock, "A Comparison of Marriages and Cohabiting Relationships" Journal of Family Issues 16-1 (1995): 53-76; Amy Mehraban Pienta, et. al., "Health Consequences of Marriage for the Retirement Years" Journal of Family Issues 21-5 (2000):559-586; Susan L. Brown, "The Effect of Union Type on Psychological Well-Being: Depression Among Cohabitors versus Marrieds" Journal of Health and Social Behavior 41(2000):241-255; Susan L. Brown and Alan Booth, "Cohabitation Versus Marriage: A Comparison of Relationship Quality" Journal of Marriage and the Family 58 (1996):668-678. [back to text] 
10 Norval D. Glenn, "Values, Attitudes, and the State of American Marriage" Pp. 15-33 in David Popenoe, D. Blankenhorn and J. B. Elshtain (eds.) Promises to Keep: Decline and Renewal of Marriage in America (Lanham, MD: Rowman and Littlefield, 1996); Stacy J. Rogers and Paul R. Amato, "Is Marital Quality Declining: The Evidence from Two Generations" Social Forces 75 (1997); Stacy J. Rogers and Paul R. Amato, "Have Changes in Gender Relations Affected Marital Quality?" Social Forces 79 (2000):731-753; General Social Survey, National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago. [back to text] 
Before you throw in the towel - do you know:
- Remarrriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages.
We think if we just change partners, our problems will be solved. Not so.
And if there are children involved, you get remarried and turn some perfectly nice person into a stepmother or 
stepfather. In remarriages with children – stepfamilies – the divorce rate is even higher. 
- Men, women and children all do better in intact FIRST marriages -
on all measures: health, wealth, satisfaction and success. 
Work things out and you'll all be better off - in the long run.
As summarized by columnist Maggie Gallagher: "Even among advantaged, middle-class
white children, divorce doubles the risk that 20 years later these adult children will experience
serious social, emotional, and/or psychological dysfunction." 

Mavis Hetherington, a respected psychologist/researcher, found that the adult children of 
divorce had twice the divorce rate of kids from intact families, and that only 20 percent of the adults (the parents) who saw their marriages end felt their lives have been enhanced by the experience. 
- 1/28/07 Virginia Free-LanceStar
At the statistical level there is evidence to associate growing up in single-parent families and
stepfamilies with greater risk to well-being – including a greater risk of dropping out of school,
of leaving home early, or poorer health, of low skills, and of low pay. (p. 23) Child Poverty in Perspective 
- Marriages, like everything else, go through slumps - down times. And, with time, things often get
better on their own. The Case for Marriage points out that many who report that
their marriages were at the bottom of the scale on marital satisfaction, when asked again five years later,
reported being at the top on marital happiness. When asked what changed, many had no idea. It seems that
keeping your vows – hanging in through the "for worse"– even the "for boring" or when you feel all out 
of love – can, eventually, be what gets you to the promised land. Get married, stay married – what a concept. 
Recent follow up research, Does Divorce Make People Happy? fleshes out the earlier research. People going through unhappy periods in their marriage fantasize about getting out of their marriage and gettin happy by falling in love with someone new. It turns out that the surer route to happiness – in the long run – is to fall back in love with the person with whom you have children, extended families, and a history – someone who will enjoy the grandkids with you and has been there to know what you've done for others.

- The new relationship is only going to be *new* for a few years, then you're back at trying to figure out
how to make marriage work. And, don't kid yourself that single life is exciting, doesn't get old, lonely, and boring. 
- You CAN get past boredom & disappointment, and also affairs, substance abuse, porn addiction, emotional and physical abuse, betrayals, and come out better and stronger than before. Click for
must read articles and resources on recovering from infidelity, anger management and on "dating your mate". 
- Or, perhaps you're already in a remarriage and are struggling to avoid divorcing
for the second, third, or fourth time. The classes, skills and information that work for first
marriages, will also work for you. Visit the Directory of programs. Take a basic marriage skills course and also search for
special stepfamily programs and resources. Many are available on DVD to watch at home. See the "at a distance" section.

Our research estimates that 55-60% of marriages that end in divorce fall into the category of "good enough marriages". These marriages appear to be functioning well only a year or so prior to the divorce. From a child's perspective, these divorce are unexpected, inexplicable, and unwelcome and are thus most likely to harm children. These marriages are significantly more likely to divorce because of infidelity, citing explanations of "drifting apart" or "communication problems". They are unlikely to mention abuse because these were not highly conflicted marriages. - Paul Amato, Smart Marriages keynote
- The point is that Marriage Education classes aren't just for engaged couples or newlyweds. They work for
couples on the brink of divorce – hopeless couples in the deep end of the ocean who feel they've fallen out of love - are drifting apart. The courses also work for cohabiting couples. These are relationship skills.
You CAN learn new ways to interact, to connect – and by so doing, can become "masters of marriage" – gain the confidence
to marry or, if you're already married and facing disappointment, to fall in love again.
Divorce causes a decrease in wealth that is larger than just splitting a
couple’s assets in half. Divorce drops a person's wealth by an average of 77%. 
And, contrary to popular belief, the research shows that the wealth status of 
divorced men wasn’t significantly better than that of divorced women, in terms of real money.
Divorce devastates your wealth. By the same token, married people see an increase in wealth that is more than just adding the assets of two single people. If you really want to increase your wealth, get married and stay 
married. - Jay Zagorsky, Ohio State, Journal of Sociology, Jan 2006

And, when it comes to the kids, it's not just single unwed mothers whose kids struggle.
"Most researchers reported that STEPCHILDREN were similar to children living with
single mothers on the preponderance of outcome measures and that stepchildren
were at greater risk for problems than were children living with both of
their married parents." - The Journal of Marriage and Family

- Anyone even thinking about divorce should read these essays:

"Marriage" by Frank Pittman

"When a Family Man Thinks Twice"(about divorce) - by Josh Coleman

"A Father's Reflections"

"How Marital Therapy Can be Hazardous to Your Marital Health" - Bill Doherty, Smart Marriages Conference 

The Top Ten Myths of Divorce - by David Popenoe

Also, read these Before You Divorce quotes 

Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt. $16.47 on amazon. To order, click:
Amazon.com: Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce: Elizabeth Marquardt: Books

Divorce's Legacy Often Financial Ruin
The Logistics of Post-Divorce Parenting

Co-Parenting Guidelines


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Matt,

Regardless of statistics, its your life.

10 years of trying will not be recovered there is no bank account of life. There is no credit card to recover a decade of life.

But one has to make the decision there are many couples in pure misery today due to indecision.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

god that depressed me


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## tryingtocope (Apr 10, 2009)

Marriage is hard, no matter what. Even good, emotionallyhealthy, well adjusted people people find marriage hard. My first marriage was brutal, but the divorce was even more so, and the effect it had on my children was devastating to watch - it took me so many years to forgive myself, and even yet I find myself regretting it (my kids are grown and we have come through much forgiveness and healing). I wish I would have worked harder and I wish I would have stayed - yes it was painful but I can't even express how much worse divorce was. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If there is any hope of life left for the marriage, it is worth it to try try try until it's on the rails or completely bled out.

My second marriage has been much better in many ways and I am thankful, in general, to have been given another chance to do better. But if I had to do do over again I would stay in the first one. Things are tough right now in this marriage and I hope things can change but you won't see me leaving again.

Matt, I appreciate and respect that you are working so hard to keep your home together. Ten years, two years or forty years - none of it has been a waste and you are right to fight for it. Thanks for your research and showing people that there are men willing to make great effort to contend for their families.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Trying good post,

But there is a limit to the trying as once it fails there is regret on years lost opportunties missed etc. There is the fact increased hate and anger from cheated on spouse.

Once again life is not a bank account, lost time is just that lost.

A human cannot be in a state of limbo indefintiely not healthly.


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