# He Left and now wants to know things



## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

So H called it quits on Dec 30th, found out that he was having a EA on the 19th of Jan. He still doesn't see it as a EA but he was having an A with his brothers wife. She last Saturday called and finally admitted it to me.

Anyways , last week my daughter was here and I got a call from PA which was a friend from a forum I belong too. She went and told her dad about it. Being that in 2005 I had a EA with a guy from PA, I had my EA after I moved out of the house. So last night he sends me a message on Face Book asking me " You can be honest or not but who do you talk to in PA" I called him and asked what this was about. He said my daughter told him I had got a call from a PA number and he wanted to know if I was talking to the guy that I had my EA with. I explained to him that I was not talking to him that I have a friend from there off my forum! He said okay I was just wondering if maybe you were talking to him again! 

I don't understand why would he care if he is so done with our marriage. There is a few signs that he is starting to miss home, he doesn't eat, he said he doesn't sleep well. And financial he is having a hard time paying for this house and his apartment. 

Yesterday Donna the one he had a EA with meet with him to pick something up and she asked him what was wrong. He said he was not feeling well. He told her he doesn't eat cause he can't afford to buy food. And that he came here on Tuesday for supper and it was so nice to have a home cook meal again

So what do you think? Why would he care who I talk to if he is so DONE?


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Oh and she told him that he could have a meal like that every day , she said" don't you know your wife does all this cause she loves you and wants this to work" He told her yeah I know , I didn't realize how much she did love me. Now I sit there and think about all I have done in the past 4 months and she still loves me ! 

So maybe he is waking up , maybe not ! I don't know and I won't ask him cause I don't want to mess it up if he is thinking about coming home. I wonder though if he is letting his pride in the way !


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Jaded Heart said:


> Oh and she told him that he could have a meal like that every day , she said" don't you know your wife does all this cause she loves you and wants this to work" He told her yeah I know , I didn't realize how much she did love me. Now I sit there and think about all I have done in the past 4 months and she still loves me !
> 
> So maybe he is waking up , maybe not ! I don't know and I won't ask him cause I don't want to mess it up if he is thinking about coming home. I wonder though if he is letting his pride in the way !


Jaded I am praying so hard that he is finally comming out of his fantasy

It sounds promising, only keep doing what your doing don't croud him let him ask to come back. Ask him to join you for a meal when ever he is around at mealtime or if he ask, let him experience what he is missing. 

Remember, don't call him, text him, or ask him anything - let him close the gap it will be the best way for him to come back. Is Donna and his brother doing well in their reconnection, does she realize that she is better off concentrating on her husband? 

The very best to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Catherine, thanks for replying. Yeah I won't call or text him! I don't want to crowd him or say something that would make him think he is doing the right thing. 

As for his brother and Donna, yes they are trying to mend their marriage. I didn't know about my brother in law. But he is not doing well since the EA, he is very broken and damaged. As I know how that feels I can relate to him. I thought I was the only one that was thinking how messed this was, but his brother is having a hard time and is on meds now for panic attacks and things. But yeah they are trying and even went on a 1 night little holiday which is great ! I truly wish them the best, when she called to say sorry I at first was like F you! But I talk to her and I hope that I can trust her. She is worried about my H cause he does not look well or doing well at all!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It concerns me that she is so worried about your husband when her husband is in such bad shape. She should stay away and concentrate on her husband who she damaged. 

I hope things work out for them and they fall back in love and she realizes how selfish she and your husband were. 

I hope she will of her own accord stop contacting him for her poor husbands sake. If she is so sorry she could at lest do that. Leave your family alone and concentrate on the one she decimated.


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

I agree, she told me last night she wanted to offer some help to my H but then thought that my H has to learn from his mistakes. She was worried about her H last night cause she was going to have to tell him that she went to go get the park pass from him! 

Which right there doesn't make sense to me, cause if she is worried about the way her H would handle that why would she not wait to get the park pass when her H was with her.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Jaded Heart said:


> I agree, she told me last night she wanted to offer some help to my H but then thought that my H has to learn from his mistakes. She was worried about her H last night cause she was going to have to tell him that she went to go get the park pass from him!
> 
> Which right there doesn't make sense to me, cause if she is worried about the way her H would handle that why would she not wait to get the park pass when her H was with her.


I agree that if she was truly engaged in reconciling with her husband she would do anything to avoid hurting. Her husband should tell her no contact and I think you have to set boundaries. If he wants back he has to have no contact with her or he can have her dropping into his cheap miserable life every now and again just to make sure he is still interested. 

She is playing you, your husband and her husband. She is a horribly destructive person. Tell her to stay away no one needs her advice. Why has his brother not kicked your husbands ass for destroying him and his family? She is the one who is enjoying the attention and the drama. She has two men pining for her, one fool (H) and one poor sap. Her husband needs to man up and throw the beoch out then let see her play games. who is she to be going around worrying about everyone. She visiting the scene of the carnage she made and enjoying it. 

Your H has Zero to offer her so why is she playing with his emotions. I am not saying your husband is not culpable but she sounds like a price of work. Tell her to take care of her husband and kids and stop being so cruel. She will get her's Jaded. When her husband recovers and a couple of years pass she will get the rebound he may think about what she did and decide to ditch her. bide your time her future can not be bright she is too self centered and she won't see it coming. 

My advice - dont take your husband back too quickly let him twist in the wind and tell him if he even sends her a card he is out for good. You have to stop being a push over.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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