# Life Bomb approaching - need some quick advice/thoughts



## Hindenburg (Jun 22, 2013)

So I have a plan in place to leave my W on Friday. I think I can handle packing my stuff and moving while she is at work. It's when she comes home and I have to tell her what's going on that has me completely terrified. 

I'm scared of her reaction both, toward me and herself. I have been playing it cool for the past few weeks, no real big arguments or anything so i'm sure she will be completely surprised by my departure.. 

Do people really write "dear john/jane" letters? I kinda want to but also feel like it should be done in person. I'm just VERY nervous about it all. She is extremely controlling and I think mentally unstable at times. I'm sure this news will either cause her to implode or explode or quite possibly both.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Uuummm.. considering what this forum is about this is an odd request.

Would you care to elaborate on why you're leaving her?

I'll tell you this, as a person who's husband went to work one morning and was told when he came home from work that night that he was leaving - it's a horrible thing to be blindsided with. It devastates a person.

If you want to move out then handle it like an adult. Sit down with her and explain what you're doing and why. You owe her that. If she freaks out and threatens physical harm to you then leave the house right away. You need to expect some reaction, short of physical threat, you have to deal with the fallout.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

smallsteps said:


> Uuummm.. considering what this forum is about this is an odd request.
> 
> Would you care to elaborate on why you're leaving her?
> 
> ...


Oh yes! :iagree: Might communication be one of the issues in your marriage? If you are THAT afraid of her, keep a VAR on you to record any abuse.


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## somethingnewmaybe (May 12, 2013)

Mine dropped small hints of "maybe we made a mistake" which were paving her path but she never ONCE said "if this doesn't change then I'm leaving". I NEVER thought I married such a self centered quitter. If you're REALLY done, be upfront. Mine drug me around for months until I was done. Don't be a coward. Being a coward will get you ZERO respect. Unless you don't care about those things.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

If you are concerned about violence, get someone else to be present as witness and possibly to intervene if necessary. You should deal with her face to face, rather than just leave.


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