# Wife watches too much reality tv



## Alan512 (Feb 12, 2013)

Some of the shows she watches are just a huge turn off to me. I can handle some shows but its mostly the ratchet trashy TV shows like bad girls club, Atlanta housewives, love and hip hop, basketball wives and a few more. She watches it when I'm around and its super annoying. I don't like to come home from work hear that crap on TV. Is it too unreasonable to ask her to watch it while I'm at work or in another room? Does this bother anyone else?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I would go nuts if I had to listen to that trash all the time.

Do you have children?
Does she work outside the home?

Do the two of you spend any time together? It sounds like you don't.

Would you be watching something else if you could use the TV?

It's reasonable to ask her to not hog the TV. It's reasonable to ask her to not fill the air with that noise the entire evening, every evening.

You could get her a wireless head set to use. AT least you would not need to hear it.


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## Alan512 (Feb 12, 2013)

We have a kid on the way which worries me. I don't want him being raised around that. She works at home. We spend plenty of time together. We have two TV's but she refuses to watch TV in the other room.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How many hours a day does she watch these shows?

You need to have a heart to heart with her about this.

I guess she can watch any nonsense she wants to. But if you do not want to hear that stuff then you should not be forced to. So maybe the cordless headset might be a good idea.


Maybe you can negotiate that for 1 or 2 hours a day the two of you watch something together. Then she can use the headset the rest of the time.

What do you do while she's watching these shows?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm confused... Are you disabled and unable to go to the other room?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Actually, when you think about it, TAM isn't much different than those trash reality shows...


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## Vivid (Aug 28, 2014)

I really like trashy tv. It's a guilty pleasure. My husband indulges me by sitting with me and reading or whatever while I'm watching. 

I love that he doesn't make me feel bad about something I like. Maybe you could take a similar approach and it could become more of a bonding thing?


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

PBear said:


> I'm confused... Are you disabled and unable to go to the other room?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Im also confused... is she?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

OptimisticPessimist said:


> Im also confused... is she?


She's not the one complaining about the situation. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

PBear said:


> She's not the one complaining about the situation.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Of course not- she gets the TV she wants whenever she wants. 

My point was that they should be mindful of each other's position on the TV and on the shows watched. Why not tradeoff what is watched or what TV each person uses?

She should care that her husband doesnt want to watch these shows and try to accomodate him. He should care she does want to watch these shows and try to accomodate her. This should be a center point of discussion- trying to make sure the other spouse is content with the situation.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I think there has to be a level of acceptance here, on the side of both spouses.

My wife rolls her eyes at my taste in movies. I quick sampling of some I have watched recently: Sharknado II, Jaws (for the 39,726,183th time), Army of Darkness, and the Dirty Dozen. Her tastes run more towards anything with Tom Hanks and Johnny Depp.

I think her facsination with "House Hunters" is pretty weird.

We only have one TV, by choice, and we compromise and find other things to do if we've reached our toleration level.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

OptimisticPessimist said:


> Of course not- she gets the TV she wants whenever she wants.
> 
> My point was that they should be mindful of each other's position on the TV and on the shows watched. Why not tradeoff what is watched or what TV each person uses?
> 
> She should care that her husband doesnt want to watch these shows and try to accomodate him. He should care she does want to watch these shows and try to accomodate her. This should be a center point of discussion- trying to make sure the other spouse is content with the situation.


They have two tv's. In general, in my world whoever settles in an area first gets to control the clicker. If I come into an area and don't like what's on, my choice is to stay anyway and tune out whatever's on, or go away to another part of the house. 

My thought is that there's a bigger picture issue. As in, he "looks down" on her because of her choices in entertainment. I predict much bigger battles in the future. So yes, I agree that they need some discussions about things. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

GTdad said:


> I think there has to be a level of acceptance here, on the side of both spouses.
> 
> My wife rolls her eyes at my taste in movies. I quick sampling of some I have watched recently: Sharknado II, Jaws (for the 39,726,183th time), Army of Darkness, and the Dirty Dozen. Her tastes run more towards anything with Tom Hanks and Johnny Depp.
> 
> I think her facsination with "House Hunters" is pretty weird.


Army of Darkness is one of the greatest movies of all time- true story.



GTdad said:


> We only have one TV, by choice, and we *compromise* and find other things to do if we've reached our toleration level.


Yeah, this is what I was trying to say, though you said it better by example.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I watch Love & Hip Hop because that is a guilty pleasure of mine. Fortunately, my H will watch it with me & talk trash about everyone on the show. He doesn't like the show, but I think he secretly finds it fun to pass judgement on the ridiculousness you see.

Now that football season is coming up, I am not looking forward to it. My H will be glued to the TV in the living room. I don't complain, I sometimes will sit on the couch next to him & read. Or I take our toddler outside to play. As much as I hate football, I don't get upset at my H hogging the TV to watch it. If I want to watch TV that bad, I'll just go to the other room.


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## changedbeliefs (Jun 13, 2014)

There are bad TV shows, sure, and there are bad movies, yes.....but the genre of "reality TV" that *Housewives* and Jersey Shore and The Bachelor, et al.....SMH....it's deplorable. They just do nothing but show the absolute worst of people, for sport. I can't stand even a minute of any of it.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Alan512 said:


> We have a kid on the way which worries me. I don't want him being raised around that. She works at home. We spend plenty of time together. We have two TV's but she refuses to watch TV in the other room.


What kind of work does she do? Some people with intense or stressful jobs need to decompress and can do it more easily watching silly trash tv than something they have to think about. Not that there is much on tv in the latter category.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

I can relate...good luck with that, bro.

My ex would watch crap TV all day and all night. My kids were in school all day, but she couldn't work or keep the house clean. It's boring. I would try to get her to do anything else. She was too lazy and tired...tired from sitting and watching TV! Pathetic.

I ended up working out more and more, running, or basically anything OFF the couch. We grew apart. Nothing in common.

To this day, she's still on that couch. Still watching TV. There's a new guy with her now, and he is in the next room watching a different TV. They must be perfect for each other, and perfectly alone. That life is not for me.

Don't get me wrong, I watch TV too...after I exercise, shower, make dinner, and hang out with my kids. It's fine, in small doses.

If she's very pregnant, maybe she's too heavy to do much else. Try to encourage going for walks together. Try YOGA together. Also, try talking to her about the crap she watches, and let her know what you really think about it. See what she says.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PBear said:


> I'm confused... Are you disabled and unable to go to the other room?
> 
> C


Yes he could go to another room. But the reasonableness of this depends on who their house is set up.

For example in my house I have a room that is designed to be the family room.

I use it as my everything room. It is the office, has the big TV, exercise bike. My H was on the computer watching movies, playing gams, etc. The noise was hard to put up with. And no I'm not rearranging the house so that I can get peace and quiet when I'm working at my desk. So I bought him a high end set of ear phones. We were both happy with that solution.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PBear said:


> They have two tv's. In general, in my world whoever settles in an area first gets to control the clicker. If I come into an area and don't like what's on, my choice is to stay anyway and tune out whatever's on, or go away to another part of the house.
> 
> *My thought is that there's a bigger picture issue. As in, he "looks down" on her because of her choices in entertainment. I predict much bigger battles in the future.* So yes, I agree that they need some discussions about things.
> 
> C


To me that is the major issue.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Cancel cable, it's worthless.

I like some reality shows and all, but they are becoming WAY to predictable. I've become a physic over time, I know what's coming.

But the shows you are talking about, sorry I could not watch.

I just don't understand at what point has it become a norm to watch and be interested in watching other people's "scripted/made up lives".

There isn't much reality on these shows. It's bunch of directors telling bunch of underpaid HORRIBLE actors to create drama.

TV has always been toxic and addictive, now days, it's at an all time high. 

Wife and I find ourselves watching the most ridicules BS at times........# of times we looked at each other and said "WTF just happened and why in the world are we watching this garbage".

And once you are pulled in, hard to get out/ignore.

We mostly watch American PIckers and Pawn stars. Drama/made up BS aside, I simply like the historical aspect of it/what things are/how it was made/when etc etc.

Pawn stars is just totally scripted and predictable. Wife gets upset when I tell her what's going to happen next hehe.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

There are a few things my husband does not like that i watch.... If he does not want to watch them he goes watches it on the t.v upstairs..

He likes a lot of football, Me and the younger kids hate it, so he watches it upstairs, hes really not fussed.

I suppose he could ask me to go upstairs, but he never does, if he did i would, but hes happy to go upstairs and lay on the bed ( Lazy git).....


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Secretly, go out and get another TV controller... You'll know what to do.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Would drive me insane OP but I am old and cranky like that.

I tend to agree with PB in that is is a looking down on her thing and a sign of bigger issues, all of which needs to be addressed. TBH I would have little tolerance for a spouse that was so into trash TV, sure a little bit would be fine but mindless crap for the mainstay of entertainment would not be something I could live with and sorry but yes I would look down on them in so much as I would question their intelligence level / lose respect for them.

We only have one TV by design as we don't agree with TVs in the bedrooms. I would rather sit with my partner and watch TV or a movie, constantly needing to be in different rooms watching the idiot box would be a bad sign for the relationship.

As for the footy, yeah I love it, we watch at least one game a weekend either at the game, at home or out at the pub. But it is a major common interest even though we follow different teams.


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## Vivid (Aug 28, 2014)

I'm really glad my husband doesn't judge me and look down on me for liking silly tv shows. I have a couple of degrees, I am in no way stupid, but I like bad tv. 

When I used to watch the Bachelor, he would find them online for me, download them, watch them with me AND THEN DISCUSS THEM. That's love.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So she works at home, but you expect her to watch her shows when you're not home? Isn't she supposed to be working? And you say that you two have "plenty of time together". So how much "reality tv" are we tming about, per week?

Just trying to see how the pieces fit...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Holland said:


> Would drive me insane OP but I am old and cranky like that.
> 
> I tend to agree with PB in that is is a looking down on her thing and a sign of bigger issues, all of which needs to be addressed. TBH I would have little tolerance for a spouse that was so into trash TV, sure a little bit would be fine but mindless crap for the mainstay of entertainment would not be something I could live with and sorry but yes I would look down on them in so much as I would question their intelligence level / lose respect for them.
> 
> ...


For My husband and I, we watch lots of movies together, every evening in fact we watch something or other.....

Friday its family movie night us and children.... we have popcorn....

But on occasion there are things that my husband likes to watch that i do not enjoy and vice versa, so its no biggie for one of us in our case ( my husband) to go and watch the t.v upstairs.....

But there are definitely no bad signs at all in our relationship.....


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

melw74 said:


> For My husband and I, we watch lots of movies together, every evening in fact we watch something or other.....
> 
> Friday its family movie night us and children.... we have popcorn....
> 
> ...


What you are talking about sounds like normal life. What the OP seems to be alluding to is that his DW spends a lot of time watching trash TV. I can see where that would be a source of irritation for the other spouse not only because of the type of programs but the time that it would take from the relationship.

We watch plenty of movies here but life is also very balanced when it come to time spent doing other things.

ETA it is winter here so we have marshmellows on the fireplace. Love popcorn though and it is low cal


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## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

Alan512 said:


> Some of the shows she watches are just a huge turn off to me. I can handle some shows but its mostly the ratchet trashy TV shows like bad girls club, Atlanta housewives, love and hip hop, basketball wives and a few more. She watches it when I'm around and its super annoying. I don't like to come home from work hear that crap on TV. Is it too unreasonable to ask her to watch it while I'm at work or in another room? Does this bother anyone else?


I am with you all the way - I hate these friggin shows. But then again I really like Swamp People and sometimes Duck Dynasty so who knows. God help us all.


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## JASON56 (Aug 28, 2014)

My wife watches these shows its so annoying, i go in the bedroom and shut the door...i cannot take all the bickering on tv ..women like the drama i guess, even though everything is scripted.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

norajane said:


> What kind of work does she do? Some people with intense or stressful jobs need to decompress and can do it more easily watching silly trash tv than something they have to think about. Not that there is much on tv in the latter category.


My exH who was a management consultant liked watching Star Trek, the X files and the Australian soap opera "Neighbors."


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

Alan512 said:


> Some of the shows she watches are just a huge turn off to me. I can handle some shows but its mostly the ratchet trashy TV shows like bad girls club, Atlanta housewives, love and hip hop, basketball wives and a few more. She watches it when I'm around and its super annoying. I don't like to come home from work hear that crap on TV. Is it too unreasonable to ask her to watch it while I'm at work or in another room? Does this bother anyone else?


I LOVE bad reality TV. Some of my shows, my husband cant stand (like Keeping up with the Kardashians). If he is home, and I want to watch KUWTK, then he will go in the other room and put his head phones on. He can't even stand to hear it. Then I have a choice to make. I can either A.) watch my annoying shows alone, or B.) wait until my husband is out of the house to watch my shows and watch tv with my husband beside me. I usually choose to watch TV with my husband, because I like spending time with him and don't want to annoy the guy. 

Does your wife know how you feel? What kind of TV shows do you watch and enjoy? 

I suggest getting a PVR, and asking her to record her annoying shows and watch them at a later date, when you are not at home. 

As far as your kid being raised around crappy TV, I suspect there will be more kids shows on your TV by the time your child is born. Kids hate boring adult TV, and your wife probably wont get away with watching too much crap with a little child running around.


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

GTdad said:


> I think there has to be a level of acceptance here, on the side of both spouses.
> 
> My wife rolls her eyes at my taste in movies. I quick sampling of some I have watched recently: Sharknado II, Jaws (for the 39,726,183th time), Army of Darkness, and the Dirty Dozen. Her tastes run more towards anything with Tom Hanks and Johnny Depp.
> 
> ...


OH my gawd I just had a JAWS marathon the other weekend. I watched all 4 JAWS movies, although not in chronological order. I frikin LOVE JAWS 3 so, so much! It is my all time, favorite Dennis Quaid movie.


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## Lillie (Oct 10, 2013)

We have a similar situation. Like Ellegirl all entertainment stuff is in the living room. Mine & DH's computers, all his video games he has surround sound for games and movies. He loves watching a lot of action movies with all the violence and cursing and high action movies with surround sound. I hate violent movies, can't stand to hear or see the violence. So I will go to our bedroom and watch what I want for a little while. Just recently he noticed me doing this every night. I told him that something about the movies he watches is just something I cannot sit and watch. So we compromise. When we get home from I watch a couple hours of my dvr'd shows, then shower and get ready for bed. Since he stays up later than me it works out well. 
My advice would be to talk to her but don't insult the shows or her for watching them. Even though I agree with you, it would be unfair to put down something she enjoys. Take turns. Maybe like in my situation, either you or her goes to bed early, then the other one could have the main tv to watch.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Alan512 said:


> Some of the shows she watches are just a huge turn off to me. I can handle some shows but its mostly the ratchet trashy TV shows like bad girls club, Atlanta housewives, love and hip hop, basketball wives and a few more. She watches it when I'm around and its super annoying. I don't like to come home from work hear that crap on TV. Is it too unreasonable to ask her to watch it while I'm at work or in another room? Does this bother anyone else?


Does she pause to see you when you get home / is there mutual affection upon seeing one another?

When do you spend time together in the evening?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

There's a few guilty pleasure shows I like that my husband can't stand. He ribs me about it and we end up laughing. New season of Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Hell! Sometimes he'll sit and watch them with me, sometimes he requests if I can watch another time and we'll watch something we both enjoy. We only have one TV.


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## arman (Jun 4, 2014)

Alan512 said:


> Some of the shows she watches are just a huge turn off to me. I can handle some shows but its mostly the ratchet trashy TV shows like bad girls club, Atlanta housewives, love and hip hop, basketball wives and a few more. She watches it when I'm around and its super annoying. I don't like to come home from work hear that crap on TV. Is it too unreasonable to ask her to watch it while I'm at work or in another room? Does this bother anyone else?


This must be a woman thing. My wife was into a lot of reality shows until I ditched cable. All we subscribe to now is Amazon Prime and we are considering netflix both of which can be streamed on your computer, xbox, or something similar. I didn't really care for shows like Big Brother, Survivor, and Jerry Springer to name a few.



As long as you are spending enough quality time together. I would not consider it unreasonable to ask her to watch her shows in another room or while you are at work. If all she does all day long is watch TV and it is affecting your relationship then she may have an addiction then you may want to try ditching cable, satellite, or whatever you have and focus your time on mutual interests.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

OP I know the feeling. My wife watches all the shows you listed and a more. I cringe whenever I am home and they are on. I hardly ever get to watch what I want when we are home together. 

However my wife is a cop so I let her watch whatever as she has a stressful job. Still, it sux watching that junk.


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