# Need advice on oral sex



## georgia girl (Oct 17, 2012)

After 26 yrs. of marriage I am finally over my hang ups on giving my husband a bj. The problem now is that I have a very sensitive gag reflex. Can anyone recommend something that will help. I have tried Comfortably numb spray. It was ok but does not last very long.:scratchhead: This is not a joke to me so PLEASE HELP!!


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Check out this thread...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/57810-art-deep-throating.html?highlight=deep+throat


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

I would say the opposite, but Im only a guy!

if you are gagging too much - relax and dont go too deep. Use your hands to assist... maybe put a little twist in it. Slippery is good. Dry is bad.

Whatever happens - even if you gag a little - dont get embarrassed. It happens. If it happens, just ease up a bit - breathe, and relax. Rest assured that he is enjoying himself if you are as well. You DONT want to have anything unfortunate happen, like blowing your dessert - so be patient. If you need to keep control - keep him on his back to you can control what happens and when and how much - that way you can also compensate if he is overcome with the need to thrust... which he will I suspect. Its hard not to sometimes.

I love the fact that you are interested in trying. 

The spray thing.. not so sure about that. Numbing and tastes icky. My guess is it is more about your body getting used to the unusual muscle pressure/response and numbing isnt really going to help that much. But then again - that isnt my field of expertise.

Practice on the lucky guy! Im sure he will not mind in the slightest way and will endeavor to 'assist' all he can.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

dormant said:


> Check out this thread...
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/57810-art-deep-throating.html?highlight=deep+throat


That and/or

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1592333850/ref=mp_s_a_1?pi=SL75&qid=1350493222&sr=8-1 









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Go slow. Keep things moist. While he's inside, stick your tongue out a bit near the base. Don't go down all at once, do it in stages. In, remove, in a bit more, remove, repeat, etc. My wife can take several minutes to work her way to the base. 

Don't forget to breath. Make sure you keep it wet and moist. You may drool, use your hands to spread the drool up and down the shaft. Try a flavored lube, but not a numbing one. Some have said that taking a deep breath as you go down helps. 

The throat numbing thing is not a good idea. If things hurt, you should be alb to feel it and stop. Numbing things in oral (or anal) can be a bit of a hazard in that you might continue past a safe point and cause some damage. 

On top of that, anything that numbs you will numb him. What's the point of being numb during a BJ?

Also, some times there is not a good fit, so don't force things if they don't fit. My ex couldn't get past the head without her teeth getting in the way.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

You don't have to put it in far for it to feel good. And slow and steady is a good pace. Speeding up as he gets closer to orgasm. And be sure to involve his testicles and anus. A little hand/tongue play on those two areas go a long way in making the BJ a winner.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

My advice is to breathe through the gag. I have a horrible gag reflex. Try and relax. If you are tense it will close your throat. Ask him to rub you on your nipples or side boob. 

I like it when we lay on our sides that way he gets a nice visual and he can touch me. It's a different angle and I find it easier to get used to the feel of him and in my mind it goes down farther and easier. 

Just trial and error things. I found if I don't eat I gag more. Take breaks to lick around the head and the shaft and his balls. That can sometimes give your jaw muscles a chance to relax and you can breathe. 

As with anything practice and patience. Keep communication open. Listen to his non verbal cues. Give him non verbal cues as well. If he dosent pickup on them ask him later if he noticed what you were doing and tell him when you put your hands here it means slow down or speed up.

But practice and talk about it.


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

The more you do it the further you'll notice you can take it in each time. Just go slow with it. Make sure that he doesn't just lay there, try it so you are both laying down so that he can pleasure you as well, either 69 or with his fingers (or play with yourself while you do it). The more excited you get can help take your mind off the possiblity of gagging then it is easier to relax your throat and it will go in further.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

just suck as deep as you can and use your hand for the rest no reason to be uncomfortable giving your man pleasure.

don't forget to cup the boys


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## williamjones (Oct 12, 2012)

georgia girl said:


> After 26 yrs. of marriage I am finally over my hang ups on giving my husband a bj. The problem now is that I have a very sensitive gag reflex. Can anyone recommend something that will help. I have tried Comfortably numb spray. It was ok but does not last very long.:scratchhead: This is not a joke to me so PLEASE HELP!!


use your hands on his shaft. only take the tip into your mouth.
i think if you stroke him hard and fast and only suck the top 2-3 inches of his **** that he will be thrilled


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Soifon said:


> (or play with yourself while you do it). The more excited you get can help take your mind off the possiblity of gagging then it is easier to relax your throat and it will go in further.



Yes. Yes.

My wife sometimes plays with herself as she is giving me a BJ. When she does, she often slips me all the way in just as she finishes, down to the root. She is a major screamer. She gets more and more excited the longer she plays with herself, and her throat seems to relax, and she says she gets turned on by me getting turned on as this is happening. 

There is NOTHING like the feeling of her screaming with her mouth full of me. 

I luckily managed to finish just about the same time as her once or twice, what an amazing feeling. (though it took her a bit by surprise … apparently I get a bit bigger around just before the end, so the fit becomes very tight, especially if she is vocalizing … 
)


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## controlledchaos (Oct 14, 2012)

You don't HAVE to deep throat to give a really good blowjob. That's just a bonus.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife gets much more into the BJ when it's part of a 69. When she is just doing it for foreplay or being super nice to me, she doesn't want me poking around her. 

So, yes, I agree that some type of stimulation on the woman makes it a much more pleasurable experience for both participants.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

I used to gag all of the time, it was awful. Even now, the only way I can give H a BJ is if he has had a shower & is thoroughly clean, or else he will be wearing what I last ate all over his stomach.
Try putting your hand around the base of the shaft & just taking the first portion of the penis into your mouth, as you get more used to it, you will find it easier.


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## georgia girl (Oct 17, 2012)

I am soooo dumb when it comes to men. I have been reading a lot of erotica books lately, trying to find out how to please him. None of them have said anything about playing with (the boys). I didn't know he would like that. Do men have a so called G-spot like women.
Is there one spot that will drive him WILD?


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

My husband loves having the area between the scrotum & the anus stroked gently


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## georgia girl (Oct 17, 2012)

Playing with myself is out for now. Have to work on that. I am 45 and last night was the first time that I have ever been able to masturbate. I will have to work up the nerve to do it in front of him.
I was raised to believe that it was a sin. But lately I want sex 24/7 but my hubby is out of town during the week for awhile. He brought me a toy Friday night and used on me during sex and OMG that was the best sex we have ever had. We have always had great sex but that was awesome. I want to return the favor and thought going deep would be the best way.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

georgia girl said:


> Playing with myself is out for now. Have to work on that. I am 45 and last night was the first time that I have ever been able to masturbate. I will have to work up the nerve to do it in front of him.


laugh. first things first. Maybe dont worry about putting on a show jut yet. ;-)

I had a fair dose of 'big catholic guilt' growing up, but I didnt find it hard to discard. At all. Not so for everyone though.

Good for you.
:smthumbup:

Eegads. 45 and just getting around to masturbation? That, honest, blows my mind. No kidding.

oh.. and 'welcome to the club'.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

georgia girl said:


> ...Do men have a so called G-spot like women. Is there one spot that will drive him WILD?


Not exactly. You will find some information on 'prostate massage', but getting fingers up the anus is not everyones cup of tea. 

I would say just take your time and not worry about doing 'everything' right away. Just enjoy and do whatever seems to come naturaly between the 2 of you. If you find the ideas in the books you are reading interesting - have at it.. but there is no rush... and keep in mind - books are not always a clear reflection of real life. 

first time masturbator to jamming up her hubbies bum all in a couple days? Girl - what kind of books ARE you reading? :rofl:


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## controlledchaos (Oct 14, 2012)

With respect, how have you gone through 26 years of an adult relationship without A) giving a blowjob B) masturbating? On top of that you say your sex life was always good before, but now you're suddenly reading books etc and want it more. 

May I asked what changed? Kids out the house possibly?


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

controlledchaos said:


> With respect, how have you gone through 26 years of an adult relationship without A) giving a blowjob B) masturbating? On top of that you say your sex life was always good before, but now you're suddenly reading books etc and want it more.
> 
> May I asked what changed? Kids out the house possibly?


I have been married for 24 years & have never felt the need to masturbate. Still don't.


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## controlledchaos (Oct 14, 2012)

Bellavista said:


> I have been married for 24 years & have never felt the need to masturbate. Still don't.


I guess that's why I was asking her what changed.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

georgia girl said:


> After 26 yrs. of marriage I am finally over my hang ups on giving my husband a bj. The problem now is that I have a very sensitive gag reflex. Can anyone recommend something that will help. I have tried Comfortably numb spray. It was ok but does not last very long.:scratchhead: This is not a joke to me so PLEASE HELP!!


Lots of good advice here. I just wanted to thank you for giving me hope. Maybe I'll have to wait another 8 yrs, but now I know it's possible.


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## LastUnicorn (Jul 10, 2012)

georgia girl said:


> I am soooo dumb when it comes to men. I have been reading a lot of erotica books lately, trying to find out how to please him. None of them have said anything about playing with (the boys). I didn't know he would like that. Do men have a so called G-spot like women.
> Is there one spot that will drive him WILD?


You getting excited and passionate is the #1 thing that will drive him wild. Even if there are things you don't like or aren't willing to do, be sensitive in that arena. Saying 'ewww!' at any point is an ego killer in a major way. On bj's, just work on what you know and keep experimenting with positions and methods. Keeping a grip on the base & asking him not to thrust is helpful too if gagging is problematic.


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## Kari (Feb 17, 2012)

rj700 said:


> Lots of good advice here. I just wanted to thank you for giving me hope. Maybe I'll have to wait another 8 yrs, but now I know it's possible.


My friend's mom gave her H a BJ for the first time after 50 years of marriage (they are in their 70's). The mother actually called up her 50 year old daughter (my friend) and asked, 'I don't know how to do it, I'm nervous, can you give me some tips?' LOL

The parents were very religious and are finally loosening up. My friend says her parents are much more romantic than they ever used to be and it is like a second honeymoon stage for them since they retired to Florida.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Kari said:


> My friend's mom gave her H a BJ for the first time after 50 years of marriage (they are in their 70's). The mother actually called up her 50 year old daughter (my friend) and asked, 'I don't know how to do it, I'm nervous, can you give me some tips?' LOL
> 
> The parents were very religious and are finally loosening up. My friend says her parents are much more romantic than they ever used to be and it is like a second honeymoon stage for them since they retired to Florida.


Awkward....


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## gumby0811 (Oct 14, 2012)

someone kind of said it earlier, but i have found that different angles make all the difference too. Play around with the angle and find one that works for you


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Girl trick.... cup his boys, and kind of hold the base of his penis at the same time.... so when you go down your lips touch his boys and I guess he feels like you've gone all the way down.


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

Regarding the gag reflex - try touching the back of your tongue with your tooth brush to find the point where you gag. Massage that area of the tongue for a few minutes with the back of the brush until it is desensitised. Do the same thing every day and you will find that after about a week you'll be able to pretty much touch the back of your throat with the brush with no gag. It's all about desensitising the area, trick I learned a looong time ago for the same reason and it was never a problem again after one simple week of tongue training! lol


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