# Do you believe in Destiny?



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I'm talking about the type of destiny that brings 2 people together........................like "destined to be together". Whether they're someone from your past, or the person you're currently with.

Your thoughts?


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I have some thoughts on that.... particularily around "knowing someone" in a past life, or being old souls, or needing to learn a lesson in this life.
The saying that people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. 
Yes, I believe.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

But what if someone from your past.................keeps appearing (run into) in the present. :scratchhead:


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Well, same answer. Destiny would mean there is a reason, lesson, or something you need to learn from that person, or something they need to learn from you. 

Sometimes it's your mind helping you solve what was wrong in the past relationship, which is supposed to help you solve what is wrong in your current one. (Like a past bf that cheated on you, but you were too blind to see your part in it)


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Maybe , maybe not.

I sometimes ask myself that same question about my wife & I.
There were so many obstacles , and everybody saying things.

Recently,I asked myself if things were to go backwards to the start, and I had an opportunity to choose all over again, knowing all the things we went through.
Will I still say yes to her again?
And surprisingly the answer was yes.

So then is it rhat we were " destined " to be together?

I tend to be very careful of what I believe,
so,
Maybe , Maybe not.


----------



## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Sometimes I do. My wife and I met under some unique circumstances that could have went a million different ways and we wouldn't have.


----------



## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

Without a shadow of a doubt. Things have happened in my life - it would take a book to tell all - that made it absolutely clear, even to a simpleton like me, 'this was meant to be'.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I never believed in destiny until I found myself collared and married before I realised "wat the fk just happened?"


----------



## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I dont....but I also dont believe in coincidences either








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Every time I walk into a wall, I'm convinced of it's density....



Sorry SW... I had to...it was my destiny


----------



## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

I don't believe in "destiny". Call me a cynic, but things happen or we make them happen. I think that life is made up of millions of coincidences. At one time, I kind of believed in so-called destiny, but as I've gotten a little older, I don't see anything as being the product of destiny. 

We might find ourselves in situations that seem right for us at that time and call it 'destiny', but what was really going on was that a series of chance happenings brought you there. End of mystery.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I don't know how to put this so I'll just free-write. I met my ex at a university. I did not expect to. I prayed quite a bit to find someone that would be right for me. We made a connection. We took a chance. It seemed wonderful. We got married. A whole bunch of misscommunication occurred while life was at it's busiest. She left. Nothing good happened. We got a divorce. Destiny? Chance? Fortune? God? Who the he** knows. I didn't want this. It happened. Destiny? God? I think tm84 has some pretty interesting thoughts on the subject.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I believe our choices bring us to where we are.

I believe that things happen for a reason...so always try to find the lesson in it.

But destiny? Hm...Perhaps. But then you get into the thing about free will vs. mapped out life. Hm. Had I not had chosen to move to Los Angeles, would I have met my husband? Probably not.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I was working at a job that I needed to leave (he was a crooked attorney). Ran into this woman who worked at firm closer to home....not once, not twice but THREE times. On the third time I got the hint. I asked her if she was hiring and she said why yes she was. Ended up working for her for several years. 

In hindsight I see the purpose she had in my life.


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

Wife and I were in college taking a foreign language together.

I ditch class alot and she got sick so we got put together into a study group by default. Asked her out and the rest is history 22 years later.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I got down on my knees and prayed to meet a good guy at the age of 15....I hated my home life & I was a born Romantic ... within a few months, I met HIM at the lunch table of the new Vocational school we attended, both of us new that year.... we became fast inseparable Best friends, he was looking for the same things I was looking for...we fullfilled something in the other, even though we were very different. *Me* bubbly ~ mouthy -*him* introverted ~ a patient soul. 

If there is such a thing as "*Destiny*", I am very pleased with our story of it, it played us a beautiful hand... but chances are it is just "an illusion" we humans build in our heads to make us "feel good" - just like hormones play a furious role in sexual attraction & Love, kinda throwing a wet blanket of science on the Romantic... and Religion -it helps calm the soul for many. 

Looking around at others in my life....many friends, family, the majority, it seems they have been given a BUM hand in *destiny*......a good friend of mine lost her BF in a car accident shortly after I met my husband..... he was "the love of her life", she was crushed... she was not a popular girl -not wanted by the guys, but this one treated her like GOLD.... because her mother didn't allow her to see him that night, he got in the passenger side of a drunken friend driving & it all went to ashes.... She went on to have a series of heartbreaking relationships, 2 fathers leaving the children they created... only to NOW, at age 46 find a man who might be comparable to the one she lost at age 17....

Just doesn't seem right to me..or OK. I don't feel because my story has went smoothly in love ....that this = destiny... As much as carefully working with what one has in front of us...choosing wisely along the way, opening up to those who have earned our respect.... giving & appreciating the true who have crossed paths in our lives. 

I may call my husband my *soulmate*, but I don't necessarily believe in that concept, I feel it has hurt many to think they missed "the one" somehow and not "love the one they're with"- trying to overcome barriers that have blinded them to miss what could be with each other. 

All in all, we need to find someone who we are astringently compatible with.







Then it will *feel *like this thing we call "Destiny".



















And some... stay till the very end.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Not so much destiny but I believe in following your intuition and thus being in the right place at the right time. There is a buddhist saying that God/Higher Spirit creates opportunities but if you miss the opportunity then there's more like it for the taking. <3

I think destiny is a matter of following your heart, and having confidence in that, despite what conventional logic might say. 

I think some of the worst decisions that can be made are the ones that have surface defensibility, whereas the best choice are often the ones that are explained with 'because I felt like it.'

I don't really want to share my story because it's so personal, but I did make a choice to be with my best friend and gave up a sort of dream/interest in being with someone else on account of him. I ended up saving his life, but the romantic relationship could not survive functionally after his brain hemorrhage. So now I am with this other person, and last Saturday night, we were driving home, eating pizza on a rural highway, and the blue moon really did turn blue when I was wishing it would for real, on account of a turn of the road, me watching for it and imagining it, and the help of the tinting on the upper edge of the windshield. Coincidentally, I had just finished my summer reading which is a book about spiritual connection of two souls, 1Q84, in which the moon factors largely and at the end the two main characters who are soul mates, are looking at the moon together. 

It's difficult not to believe in something like destiny when it's a huge part of your every day life. I also had a strange occurrence career-wise this summer. 

Some things are so obvious that there's no way they could be coincidence. I don't think it's so much destiny, as a sort of connection spiritually with the world so that one achieves a harmony with it, and others who are also striving to do so.


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Whenever I see "destiny", I think of the verbal/adverb "destined". I don't know what Webster's says, but I think of destined as... a product of your prior circumstances. Example: Willow & Jaden Smith (Will Smith & Jada's children) are described by some to be destined for great success as entertainers (which is based off their parents' success). I wouldn't call their situation destiny; I would say they have an advantage based on their circumstances. 

I guess my answer is no. Destiny sounds exclusive/special, when... IMO everyone has it (prior circumstances that gravitate us to various future circumstances). 

Hope my post is somewhat understandable.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Yes I believe in destiny, fate, ect. The greatest destiny one has is to live, experience, and grow imo.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I do believe in destiny. I think things do happen for a reason and people come in and out of our life for a reason. It doesn't just happen.


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Yes I believe in destiny, fate, ect. *The greatest destiny one has is to live, experience, and grow imo*.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Just curious, so if everyone has it (and everyone does have a chance for those 3 things to occur)... is it destiny? I always adhered to destiny being something unique. I guess to me, destiny and opportunity are synonymous.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

The way I see it is... destiny is unique indeed as each persons life is unique. I know I probably sound korny but I see the journey one makes through life as an ever unfolding destiny/ fate. I hope I'm making sense.... lol. Sorry if I'm not... having a bit of a hard time concentrating lately.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

It's like a lot of things that would make me feel better or more special to believe. In reality though no I do not believe in destiny.

I believe in "chance" and "luck" and "odds" and "hard work pays off often" but not destiny. It would make me feel arrogant to think I deserved the good things I have just because I am me.


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Not corny, interesting. I like expanding my perspective and having an open mind. 

Not trying to make a blanket statement (well, actually I am) but I think all of us, even those who disagree... are really on the same page. We may call it a different name but still have the same general opinion. It's like speaking in a different language... it may sound/look different but it's the same word/concept.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

recent_cloud said:


> what we see
> 
> the way we see things
> 
> ...


Buy ANY car and see how many you magically see all of a sudden.


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

^Very true, I've been window shopping for a different vehicle and now I see that vehicle everywhere.


----------



## Aggie (Sep 5, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I'm talking about the type of destiny that brings 2 people together........................like "destined to be together". Whether they're someone from your past, or the person you're currently with.
> 
> Your thoughts?


I can't say that I believe in destiny - sorry. If destiny even did exist, would it matter? Everything you do is "destined" so it doesn't matter if you believe in it or not.

I wouldn't look for signs from the universe. Follow your heart and mind.


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> Not corny, interesting. I like expanding my perspective and having an open mind.
> 
> Not trying to make a blanket statement (well, actually I am) but I think all of us, even those who disagree... are really on the same page. We may call it a different name but still have the same general opinion. It's like speaking in a different language... it may sound/look different but it's the same word/concept.


Totally agree with this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

Aggie said:


> I can't say that I believe in destiny - sorry. *If destiny even did exist, would it matter? Everything you do is "destined" so it doesn't matter if you believe in it or not.
> *
> I wouldn't look for signs from the universe. Follow your heart and mind.


I really am liking this thread. IF it exists, it can't be "controlled" but it can be "altered". No one can control what it will be (can't know for certain the outcome) but the outcome can/will be altered by our choices (even if we can't see that far ahead).


----------



## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Yes  
When I met my partner I got a wonderful feeling from him. Unfortunately he was in a relationship with someone else. I told several people that if he was single he would be the guy for me. 

Then they broke up (it was a short relationship) and he contacted me asking me out. I jumped at the chance and it was like meeting the person you allways hoped you would, as for me he ticks every box.

The amount we have in comman is astounding, right down to being born in the same hospital and growing up close to each other, despite meeting in a completely different city. My parents were also best friends with his uncle and aunt and yet we had never met. 

I feel like it is part of my destiny and I'm sure there's much much more in store for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Yes, but I believe that just because it's your destiny to meet someone, doesn't mean that person is your soulmate. In fact, he or she may be far from that ideal.

Everything happens for a reason. What we do in life, echoes in eternity. EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY.


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Nope.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I’ve a rather strange tale to tell. My wife and I had separated and were living apart in 2006. I had my elder son visiting me and got to hear that she’d been in a serious car accident. We drove 20 odd miles to the hospital she’d been taken to by ambulance for a check-up, her car was totalled. I still felt a terrific need of care for her and was trying to balance my wife and two sons wrt emotions etc.

After I'd gotten a handle on the situation I went to the rest room where I actually passed blood. I told the receptionist what had happened, told her I thought it urgent to see a doctor but she put me in the queue. I’m a very calm guy even in my own emergency.

I went through from reception to the A&E ward to see how my wife was doing, she was shocked, bruised by the seatbelt but got out of the accident exceedingly well. I made no mention of the blood at all. While standing in the cubicle talking with her as she sat on the bed I came over very faint, told my wife and then collapsed on the floor as I lost more blood. It turned out I’d lost three pints.

Ever since I first saw her I’d thought for over 40 years that my wife and I were destined to be together and saw the car accident and my loss of blood as whoever controls these things way of getting us back together again.

Imagine that, losing three pints of blood right there in the A&E of a major hospital, two feet away from an emergency bed, not even in the reception area, surrounded by doctors and nurses and all the equipment of a modern hospital with your wife and two sons with you and brought there because your wife had a car crash.

Was it destiny at work? I do believe there’s something there. I think “life” gave us another chance to live together, unfortunately it just didn’t work out and some three years later we parted.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I think in these things people will believe in what works for them. Like the guy who asks his brother “Why do you believe there’s a God and have so much faith in him?” and his brother replies “Because it works for me”.



My belief is that there is most certainly something there that interconnects all of humanity and I’ve experienced these things. For example the message someone or some thing sent to me in a dream the night my Grandmother passed when I was 3,000 miles away from her. Who or what carried that message to me without using a phone, radio, the tv, post etc. And who or what woke me up out of my dream such that I sat upright in bed and knew for certain my Grandmother had passed such that when I called my mother in the morning she started with “AFEH I have some very sad news for you …..”.


I’m of the belief that we have lost a lot of our abilities to see and understand these things in today’s “noisy” modern life, tv, phones, radio etc. and I think on centuries ago when humans were living more or less in the wild and therefore very much more in touch with nature and all its wonders around them.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

If I’d been awake when I received the message my Grandmother sent me it would have been called telepathy. What she sent was an image, not words so I came to think that telepathy is effected by images from which we decipher the message. I can still recall the image very well some 30 years later. A picture really does speak a thousand words.

Since being separated from my wife I’ve woken up after feeling her presence by the door of my bedroom on a few occasions. She’s just standing there, very passively looking in at me. I live in a very nice house and went sat on the couch I occasionally get the feeling that she’s standing in the hallway looking into the room. All these are images while I’m awake and I think on it as telepathy (maybe I really don’t know), she’s sending me the message something like “I’m here waiting for you, why don’t you call”. Or maybe she’s just checking me out to see if I’m ok or what I’m up to.

Sometimes I respond very passively, other times in my mind I push her away, that’s the message I send back. If she wants back with me she knows what she must do.

I think between loved ones we can connect through another world, another dimension. For example I had sudden impulses to phone my mother, go to the phone, pick it up to dial and there she is saying Hi AFEH, how’s your day?

What’s going on there then? Nano seconds of a “coincidence”? She wanted to talk with me, dials and before my phone actually rings I pick it up to call her and there she is. Or was it that she thought I’ll call AFEH now, I get that message via telephony and hey presto there she is on the phone.


I think there’s far more at work through “nature’s spirit” or whatever it is in our lives than perhaps most of us will ever realise or maybe even want to accept. Destiny I think is one such thing, as is for example the “power of prayer”. Unless a person has actually prayed in heartfelt earnest and had their prayer answered they’re very unlikely to believe in it.


----------



## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

AFEH said:


> I think there’s far more at work through “nature’s spirit” or whatever it is in our lives than perhaps most of us will ever realise or maybe even want to accept. Destiny I think is one such thing, as is for example the “power of prayer”. Unless a person has actually prayed in heartfelt earnest and had their prayer answered they’re very unlikely to believe in it.


I totally agree with you AFEH (sorry to be back). I remember so well when my new-born daughter was at death's door (literally). You have never seen anyone pray the way I did then. Unbelievable. Now 22 years on, she is beautiful and thriving. She is literally a living miracle. Sadly not everyone has the same outcome. The reasons why? Beyond our comprehension.


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

southern wife said:


> But what if someone from your past.................keeps appearing (run into) in the present. :scratchhead:


Some call it destiny.

The cops would call that stalking. 

Just kidding.

I've had two instances of "destiny". One was good, one was bad


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Dad&Hubby said:


> Some call it destiny.
> 
> The cops would call that stalking.
> 
> ...


Maybe they were karma and not destiny at all .


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Dad&Hubby said:


> Some call it destiny.
> 
> The cops would call that stalking.


:lol: I knew that was going to surface at some point! :rofl:


But let me give an example of what I'm trying to get at. I was in a long-term relationship many years ago (1989-1995) and it ended. This person was my first real "crush" when I was a teenager and he is 6 years older than me. So when I was in my late teens/20s is when we had our relationship. We were head over heels for each other. But like I said, it ended.....for various reasons.

Fast forward to 2006. I was temporarily separated with my husband for a few months (my choice), and I contacted this person from my past to get some closure on our situation. Lots had gone unsaid..............and needed to be said. We met and talked.............that's it. Nothing happened other than talking, closing things out emotionally, and giving each other a hug. 

Then we ran into each other at a cookout - both our spouses were with us.

Then at a funeral for one of our childhood friends that took his own life - both our spouses were with us.

Then, this past Friday - the day of the 'Blue Moon' - we ran into each other at the bank. Strange coincidence that we were there at the exact same time, not at lunch time or anything, but later in the afternoon. I just thought it strange. We talked, gave each other a hug, and went our separate ways. I did notice that the attraction is still there for both of us. Eyes and body language speak volumes. Being married and him being married, neither of us would act on this. But we are nice to each other when we run into each other.

But the thought of being with him again in the future, should anything happen to our marriages/spouses, is an exciting thought. Would that be destiny? :scratchhead:

And keep in mind that neither of us are looking to leave our spouses; we're both happy in our life. Maybe it's because I was so young when I met him, and had very strong feelings for him at that time......


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I think you are both doing really well to stay away from it, to keep it at a distance. Those young loves are immensely “attractive”. I went to the funeral last year of a friend I’d know for over 50 years, she was a second mother to me. Her daughter and I had dated in our teens and her parents thought we were to be married. She’d been drinking a little and was a little tipsy and came up to me very affectionately and started rubbing my back and holding onto my arm. The air was absolutely charged and I looked up to see a very sad expression on her husband’s face.

Those feelings between us from our teenage years instantly returned the moment we were together again. I’ve since had a nice letter from her that I haven’t responded to as much as I want to even though I’m now separated. I know her husband as a good man and I know he loves her and has taken care of her so I just don’t go there.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SW--stay away from him. 

I do believe in fate and all that and that everything happens for a reason but if you go out of your way to reach out to him, you will be playing with fire.

I agree with Afeh--those young loves are "immensely attractive." They are laced with nostalgia and sugar and spice.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

AFEH said:


> I think you are both doing really well to stay away from it, to keep it at a distance. Those young loves are immensely “attractive”. I went to the funeral last year of a friend I’d know for over 50 years, she was a second mother to me. Her daughter and I had dated in our teens and her parents thought we were to be married. She’d been drinking a little and was a little tipsy and came up to me very affectionately and started rubbing my back and holding onto my arm. The air was absolutely charged and I looked up to see a very sad expression on her husband’s face.
> 
> Those feelings between us from our teenage years instantly returned the moment we were together again. I’ve since had a nice letter from her that I haven’t responded to as much as I want to even though I’m now separated. I know her husband as a good man and I know he loves her and has taken care of her so I just don’t go there.


:iagree: Our current spouses love us immensely and take care of us. We are both happy in our lives, so that makes the difference I think. But ya can't help but wonder............"what if"... :scratchhead:


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> SW--stay away from him.
> 
> I do believe in fate and all that and that everything happens for a reason but if you go out of your way to reach out to him, you will be playing with fire.
> 
> I agree with Afeh--those young loves are "immensely attractive." They are laced with nostalgia and sugar and spice.


No worries, my neighborly friend! Not going there!  It just helps to talk about it here and get it out of my system..........figure it out, so to speak.

:toast: to you for your support!


----------



## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I feel that destiny had brought me and my wife together, first as friends, then as lovers, broken up, together and married, now rocky again.

But each time, I think we've learned something about ourselves. 

This time is a big one. Whether we get back together or not is something that time will tell. If it DOES work out, it means there was a lesson to be learned and after we learned it, we were drawn back together again.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I speak from experience so I am telling you, don't go there! 

"Neighborly!!!"


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I speak from experience so I am telling you, don't go there!
> 
> "Neighborly!!!"


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

southern wife said:


> But the thought of being with him again in the future, should anything happen to our marriages/spouses, is an exciting thought. Would that be destiny?


Okay I don't think this is destiny this is a test. Okay test is probably a strong word but it's the only one I can come up with at the moment. I think many relationships are tested. I know mine has been and I've been married 21 years. 

That hot guy at work that you click with, the one that got away that you run into a few times, etc. I react to these situations as a sign that I need to focus MORE on my husband not as destiny. I believe in darkness not wanting me to be happy with my marriage. I've had thoughts of what it would be like to be married to someone else but I'm smart enough to know it's not destiny talking it's just a fantasy.

If it were my destiny to be married to an old boyfriend I'd be married to him but seeing as I'm not I put that completely out of my mind. Period end of story.


----------



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

If SW was at all tempted to pick up where they left off, have a kiss and a cuddle, to tempt him back into her life or whatever then it was very much a test.

All the values we hold dear to us in our value system (loyalty, dedication, openness and honesty, credibility and integrity, patience and tolerance, empathy and compassion, duty of care and protection, emotional management and control etc.) and perhaps most of all our love will for certain be tested during the course of our marriage. 



I believe wives get tested in these ways, with other men, far more than husbands get tested by other women.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

AFEH said:


> If SW was at all tempted to pick up where they left off, have a kiss and a cuddle, to tempt him back into her life or whatever then it was very much a test.
> 
> All the values we hold dear to us in our value system (loyalty, dedication, openness and honesty, credibility and integrity, patience and tolerance, empathy and compassion, duty of care and protection, emotional management and control etc.) and perhaps most of all our love will for certain be tested during the course of our marriage.
> 
> ...


:iagree: But I don't want that. I want what I have now with my husband, and our daughter. If it was a test of some sort, I think I passed it with flying colors. There's no harm in a nice chat, catching up briefly on our happy lives, hug and move on. There was no kissing and no cuddling.  In no way did I "tempt" him with anything and neither did he. For god's sake we just ran into each other at the bank!! 

And starting this thread has helped me see it for what it was.


----------



## kgirl (Sep 5, 2012)

I think... yes. I don't believe in coincidence. I believe all things happen for a reason, even if we don't know why at the time.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

recent_cloud said:


> 'Our current spouses love us immensely and take care of us. We are both happy in our lives, so that makes the difference I think. But ya can't help but wonder............"what if"...'
> 
> the
> 
> ...


Nope, you must have read it wrong, or gotten the wrong vibe from what I was saying. :scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

recent_cloud said:


> 'Our current spouses love us immensely and take care of us. We are both happy in our lives, so that makes the difference I think. But ya can't help but wonder............"what if"...'
> 
> t*he
> 
> ...


No,
I don't see it like that.
I've had some times in our marriage where I asked myself " what if " I had married lady X instead of my wife.

We meet up unexpectedly, laugh , chat blah ,blah,blah.
Then I might see some longing or whatever in her eyes/expression.
Then we say nice meeting you, bye , bye!
I might ask myself later " what if things had worked out between us and we got married.?"

Then reality hits,and other questions come, what if you had married her instead,and today she had walked into another one of her ex bf , with that same longing look in her eyes?

See why I am neither here nor there with it?
am responsible for everything that goes on in my life.

But sometimes I do wonder how different things would have been if I had not taken certain decisions etc.
We just never know!
And human beings always want to know the unknown.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

recent_cloud said:


> 'Our current spouses love us immensely and take care of us. We are both happy in our lives, so that makes the difference I think. But ya can't help but wonder............"what if"...'
> 
> the
> 
> ...


I didn't get that either. I think everyone at one time or another has the "what if" thoughts. They are fleeting, they pass and they mean nothing.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> No,
> I don't see it like that.
> I've had some times in our marriage where I asked myself " what if " I had married lady X instead of my wife.
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree:


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Mavash. said:


> I didn't get that either. I think everyone at one time or another has the "what if" thoughts. They are fleeting, they pass and they mean nothing.


:iagree: :iagree:


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

I also want to add something to this thread, because to me.....dreams (your subconscious mind) mean something.

Well, for the LONGEST time my hubs has not been in my dreams, and since this "run in", and this thread, he has returned to my dreams. Not sure what that means, but it's a good thing!


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I also want to add something to this thread, because to me.....dreams (your subconscious mind) mean something.
> 
> Well, for the LONGEST time my hubs has not been in my dreams, and since this "run in", and this thread, he has returned to my dreams. Not sure what that means, but it's a good thing!


Then I need to figure out what I'm dreaming about. I wake up and remember a dream about once every five years.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

southern wife said:


> I also want to add something to this thread, because to me.....dreams (your subconscious mind) mean something.
> 
> Well, for the LONGEST time my hubs has not been in my dreams, and since this "run in", and this thread, he has returned to my dreams. *Not sure what that means, but it's a good thing! *


Maybe he saying,
"..Hey, YOU! Time to get me back into your dreams!":rofl:


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

recent_cloud said:


> as shakespeare wrote:
> 
> 'the lady doth protest too much, methinks'
> 
> ...


Thank you!  I knew posting this thread topic would help! That's why I love TAM so much!


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Maybe he saying,
> "..Hey, YOU! Time to get me back into your dreams!":rofl:


:lol: :iagree: My hubs is a great man..........has a great heart, is a wonderful hubs and father!  I couldn't ask for anything more.

..............Well, maybe a Corvette!  :rofl:


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I don't know what i believe anymore.i used to believe in all of it.Fate,Destiny,Soulmates,the afterlife...now I really don't know.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Satya said:


> I don't know if I believe in "destiny" but I do believe that all things (good and bad) happen for a reason.


I wish I saw it that way Satya. I see "bad things happen to good people" and "good things happen to bad people" pretty often. I think it's cause and effect with some chance thrown in there. 

More times than not good people do things that have positive effects so it seems like a reward for them being good. It kind of is I guess.

But I don't think me or anyone else is destined or fated or anything. I don't even think karma exists. It's just more cause and effect that we notice and take pleasure in seeing.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Satya said:


> I know exactly what you mean. None of us are perfect but I am forever the optimist and can only seem to see the good in people. This is still the case after 8 years of a challenging yet happy marriage which came to an abrupt end because my ex declared he wanted a sex change. No warning signs. No cheating drama. Not your typical tale here on TAM. It was as though my husband died, and I did mourn.
> 
> Not sure if I will share my whole story as I discovered the Site when everything was more or less over and done.
> 
> My view is that I prepare for chaos and bend like the reed if it does come, because you never know when something may disrupt your perfect little world. I try to see "bad" things in a different light, adjust the sails, then they're not so bad and I can carry on.


Sorry about that situation. Amen on the defensive pessimism though. I do the same. Prepare for the worst so I'm pleasantly surprised and even feel blessed when it does not happen. And not devastated so bad if it does.

I still have an optimistic outlook on many things though.


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Maybe he saying,
> "..Hey, YOU! Time to get me back into your dreams!":rofl:


Get outta my dreams and into my car!!


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Its tempting to believe

but its absurd and one of the most illogical things to believe. I am very romantic and was a hopeless romantic until i met my wife i do believe god exists and am a christian. However i feel its narcissism at its finest to believe that "God" or some "magical" force gave you your loved one yet ignores so many others who suffer and never gives love to so many who desire it. 


How convenient that i meet my would be wife at this moment i am tempted to believe that the highest power in the universe set this up through "Destiny" 

yet so many others miss that opportunity? 

what makes me special as to indulge in destiny?


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Goldmember357 said:


> Its tempting to believe
> 
> but its absurd and one of the most illogical things to believe. I am very romantic and was a hopeless romantic until i met my wife i do believe god exists and am a christian. However i feel its narcissism at its finest to believe that "God" or some "magical" force gave you your loved one yet ignores so many others who suffer and never gives love to so many who desire it.
> 
> ...


Exactly my thoughts. Why did destiny or fate decide I was worth something to be healthy, happy, comfortable, content, etc, but some kids are born into starvation or disease or abuse or all of the above.


----------

