# Wife says I want the best for both of us but for the first time i need to put my self



## aguyinpain (Jan 26, 2011)

first...

Hi,

I'm new to the forums and I'm in dire need of help!

My wife and I have been married for two years. We dated for about two years. We have no children together, but I do have a four year old daughter that I see every weekend. Basically my wife saw my daughter grow up with me.

I really don't know where to begin. Well we both decided to separate on Sunday, she graved her clothes and left to live with her brother. 


We didn't have a huge argument and we both agreed to the separation as she felt I wasn't the person she was looking for. I felt if I'm not the person she looking for we shouldn't be together. Funny thing is that we spent the weekend together and we had a great time, got take out, watched TV, went to the movies and just hung out. At the end I helped her move in to her brothers house.


-Realized I'm not the father she wants for her kids
-Doesn't feel I support her the way she wants
-Feels I don't try as hard as her in regards to work.
-Finally Sex has just dwindled away

Well when we separated we agreed we would keep an open communication, that she could stop by the house anytime, that we could call each other etc.

Here is just a little text...

I love you too, aguyinpain, and that is hurting a lot right now. I dont want to fight either, but I dont want to work this out to go back to the same place one more time. Things haven't changed in two days, things changed a long time ago... and we tried and tried couldnt fix them. love has NEVER been a problem. I think were great roomates. and that is scary. I really want the best for both of us but for the first time, i need to put my self first, i needed to know everything we said this weekend and realized once and for all how much you refuse to step up to make a change, and you're (again) right on this: you wouldnt be yourself anymore... probably youre right also about me idealizing this person that I married... I thought that if somebody (me)would give you a free pass you would do wonders with your life, but instead I feeel you just laid back and relaxed to watch a movie... I feel sad because i feel unacommplished. I feel disappointed on all this trying. I know i helped you reach goals you tought you wouldnt reach...(not sure what she talking about).Now i need to help myself because i'm fading away. I cant find beauty on what I once did.. and I dont know where I'm standing anymore.. for a long time now....

so thats what replied... that kinda sums up what are arguments have been about mixed in with my disagreements.


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