# What about my children??



## Julia90 (Jan 4, 2012)

Hi, I came across this site in a desperate attempt to find some answers!!

I have been married for 11 years - just celebrated year 11.. We have two beautiful children aged 8 and 6, nice house and car and basically everything a couple married that long would have. 

For the past couple of years my husband has become increasingly distant, less sex and intimacy - he says i demand too much from him, wanting a cuddle and a kiss is a chore for him, this hurts mt feelings because i love him so much.. last year i cried so much, i cry myself to sleep because he ignores me and my needs, he makes me feel like i am the most ugly woman in the world. Why? i ask myself why? i have been a good wife, our children are good children - i gave up my career to stay with them, i try my best to look for him, i have done everything with the best intentions, yet i have a man that doesn't show any appreciation or respect. 

Today after weeks of misery i begged him to tell me what was wrong with me, to give a straight answer.. He replied.... I don't find you sexually attractive anymore! i can't have sex with you because i don't enjoy it, i don't love you that way anymore... this has hurt me beyond belief! i keep asking myself why? what went wrong? why me? i dont know what to do!! i cry for my children, i cry because i adore him, i cry because not being loved by him hurts to much and i cry because if it fails it's me who broke it off! what do i do? i am so confused... i dont want my children to grow up without a dad but i would have to sacrifice my happiness... is it possible for him to find me attractive again? has anyone heard of this ever happening? please someone give me some advice!!

J


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

It seems that you demand too much in the sexual way and this makes him reject you. Some men dont want so much. They dont enjoy it as you put it. You must realise you cant just force it. You have to sit down again with him and try and work out a plan to what he would agree to. Or perhaps go for counselling over it.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Julia90 said:


> He replied.... I don't find you sexually attractive anymore! i can't have sex with you because i don't enjoy it, i don't love you that way anymore... this has hurt me beyond belief! i keep asking myself why? what went wrong? why me? i dont know what to do!! i cry for my children, i cry because i adore him, i cry because not being loved by him hurts to much and i cry because if it fails it's me who broke it off! what do i do? i am so confused... i dont want my children to grow up without a dad but i would have to sacrifice my happiness... is it possible for him to find me attractive again? has anyone heard of this ever happening? please someone give me some advice!!
> 
> J


You need to find out whether or not he is having an affair. This is your most important task before you do anything else. Ask him straightforwardly "Are you having an affair". Believe him if he says yes, otherwise keep looking. Get a look at his cell phone if he ever leaves it unguarded. This is how I learned about my wife. Check your phone records, look for any suspicious comings or goings, new clothes, new friends, increased computer activity. Take your time and check all this stuff out. Let us know the results and we'll guide you from there.


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