# Is my wife lying or am I being jealous?



## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Ok here goes. My wife has more than one time in my opinion lied to me about what she is doing or where she is at. 

Example 1. 

Telling me she is going to walmart, then 6 hours later telling me she is going to walmart and never went before. 

Example 2. 

Telling me she is at walmart and talking to a girlfriend, when actually she called the girlfriend to meet her at walmart she says, leaving walmart going to her friends store and drinking and coming home at 530 in the afteroon after telling me she had been at walmart talking to her there the whole time. I found this out because she couldnt explain the drinking part to me because she said she was at walmart lol. 

Example 3.

Telling me she is leaving the house to go to her moms, me being 10 mins from the house and saying wait ill be home in just a minute so i can tell her hi and bye in person (was at work all day and had to pick up her son on my way in from work since he was at his dads) she asks where I am and then she says oh i just passed that and i have left the house already. 

Am I crazy or what is the deal lol??


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

No, you're not crazy.

Either she is:

- Having an affair
- Getting out of the house to drink because she has a drinking problem

Or, wants time to herself and feels like she can't tell you the truth so she "makes up" stories about where/what she's doing.

All I know is - she's acting like a 2-year old. 

Does she feel as though you act like her father?

Something is up, might not be a big something - but something.


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## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Well I am stressing big time. I look at this and remember my ex wife doing something similar and come to find out she was having an affair with someone who I thought was a great friend.

I try not to live off my past and things that others have done to me but this is really weighing on me big time.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> No, you're not crazy.
> 
> Either she is:
> 
> ...


:iagree: Or she's a compulsive liar. Do you catch her telling lies that wouldn't affect anyone? (i.e. "I just ate the best snickers bar!" and you notice there's an M&Ms wrapper in the trash.)


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## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Well she is a pretty honest person on somethings, on other things she isnt. I have nobody to talk to really because all of my army bud's will just tell me aww she is cheating dude leave her lol, which I understand the thought process there but I am not one to give up easily on anything ever. 

But what she is doing, and the fact that it bothers me and she doesnt seem to care, or get that it bothers me (how she wouldnt know it bothers me as bad as it does is beyond me lol).

We dont have facebook anymore, her choice and I dont mind, but her son tells me the other day for no reason that she was on facebook, she told him it was her neices, he told me he got on his facebook and seen her profile and even looked at her pics, so he logged into facebook and did a search for her, her name popped up but the page wouldnt open.

So I asked her about it, she got on him for lying, got on her facebook account (reactivated it) and she hasnt been on there since march....well she had a post on her wall from 4 MAY 2011. How is that possible I ask? She says she hasnt been on there and doesnt know how that happend. 

I feel I am being petty but when you tell me something that is what i go by. I dont read into things unless I feel a need...I just feel that I am being lied to and I dont deserve that.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

soldierneedinghelp said:


> Well she is a pretty honest person on somethings, on other things she isnt. I have nobody to talk to really because all of my army bud's will just tell me aww she is cheating dude leave her lol, which I understand the thought process there but I am not one to give up easily on anything ever.
> 
> But what she is doing, and the fact that it bothers me and she doesnt seem to care, or get that it bothers me (how she wouldnt know it bothers me as bad as it does is beyond me lol).
> 
> ...


You're not being petty. She's trying to make you feel guilty so she can keep doing whatever she'd like without facing consequences. Stop saying you _feel_ like you're being lied to, it's a fact at this point.

When did she request that you both get rid of facebook? Was she acting suspiciously around that time as well? I ask because if there was another man and his wife found out, she could have told her H that she was going to contact you.

I'd certainly look into the situation further. Do you have access to phone records?


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## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Well I am just totally confused, and me being a military person I should be able to just make a decision and be done with it but this isnt mission related this is life related and the two are different and sometimes the same as well.


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## Androus (May 16, 2011)

It is very important for the individuals to understand the fact that there exists a world outside one's . It is wise and wonderful to dwell within a family bonding with caring, sharing and understanding, and also by giving room for the partner to breathe without throttling him or her in the name of possessiveness.
Think about it...


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Well, it has been my experience that lies are created to cover something up. You know for a fact she is telling lies. It isn't the product of an overactive imagination (powered by past events) when you have caught her in at least one lie. Now you need to figure out the reason for the lies. 

You may want to mix your schedule up a bit and actually show up at home unexpectedly a few times. If she isn't at home when you get there, give her call. See if she says she is home. I actually nailed my estranged husband with that. He kept telling me he was working late at our store. One night he didn't come home. I went to the store and called him. That was priceless when he told me he was at the store. Nailed!


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

I, of course, would not totally rule out an affair, but it sounds like she just is a little embarrassed about wanting to spend time alone. I know, I just LOVE being by myself for a day, with no one else I have to consider, just me, and even though my wife agrees and even encourages it (we're both a bit independent and know that alone time is very important), but I sometimes still feel like a selfish jerk when I do it.
Or, perhaps she had issues with her parents about "where were you and who were you with?"-type 3rd degrees when she got home, and she feels like you may do the same to her, or maybe she's seeing a friend (not an OM) who may be having issues between her and her H and feels that maybe you think that she is toxic and giving her "ideas" about stepping out or just going out to party without you.

Being an ex military guy myself (hey, we were always trained to visualize the worst case scenario, and to this day I still "prepare to meet a division, when I may just meet a rifle team").

But, still, do not totally rule out the possibility of an A.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I too think lies are meant as a cover up for something. But like MWIL said it could be something little like she just wants alone time with friends or it could be something huge like an affair.


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## Anthony8858 (Mar 30, 2011)

The Facebook thing is a major red flag for me.
Too many people are making it too convenient to use Facebook as a way to hook up with old flames, or potential ones ( ask me how I know) .

Are you home at all?

If so, download a key logger, and record her activity on that computer.
It's one way to see if she's facebooking in her spare time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Dude you've been throught this before so take what youv'e learned and apply it. Its hard to believe it and except the possiblity but you know first hand would could be going on.

You know if you ask she will deny, so do your research and quitly investigate her activities and find the real truth before you confront her.

We hopes its nothing more then a break down in communication, but the possiblity is always there and it is hard as hell to admit and that you even have to go down that road(again), but do it now. As we all know it will get worse so take the action needed to prove your self wrong (hopefully). 

You know the cell account, credit card statement, computor hacking, social sites, and even the voice activated recorder under the car set and in the bed room. Start looking and and validate her loyalty (hopefully). Its suck but don't bury your head in the sand,b/c you are afraid of that pain that comes with all the betrayal. You might get lucky and catch her before it goes full blown EA and or PA.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

People who make no effort to cover up their lies probably aren't lying about anything they care about very much. Or, they don't care about you very much. So it could something very small or something huge.


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## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Well me and my wife have discussed this, and in her eyes she didnt lie. She instead turns this against me and says im just going on and on about it.

In my mind im not going on and on about it, im trying to work out the issue and keep it from happening again. I have no answer from her or aknowledgment that what she did is not right in my opinion.

She is willing to admit that she wouldnt like it if I did this, but yet she says she did nothing wrong? 

I am losing my mind lol.

You know it is a lot less stressful being shot at and things blowing up all around you than this....at least i know the enemy is present and not hiding or lying their intentions lol.


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## militaryman79 (May 18, 2011)

well for one, i do have to say thank you for your service. Secondly i myself am former army. thridly yes i would either 1 tell her straight out and ask her what is up. fourthly i would lay down terms, simply stipulating that if she keeps lying than you will leave. when you find out she lies again, leave. She is hiding something, with this day and age 9 chances out of 10 it is an affair.


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## soldierneedinghelp (May 16, 2011)

Thank you for your service too brother. I am stressing big time, I can't talk to her period. All it does is end in a fight and her telling me I am this or that or god knows what else. 

I handle stress very well but I feel that stress is delt with on equal terms...you shoot at me I shot back and more accurate....you yell at me, well its my wife I dont want to yell back or cuss or anything I want to work it out instead.....but damn how far does someone have to be pushed before they call it quits?

I don't want a divorce I think that is the easy way out, but my god I feel that I am being punished for my past or something being married to her right now is like my own personal hell. 




militaryman79 said:


> well for one, i do have to say thank you for your service. Secondly i myself am former army. thridly yes i would either 1 tell her straight out and ask her what is up. fourthly i would lay down terms, simply stipulating that if she keeps lying than you will leave. when you find out she lies again, leave. She is hiding something, with this day and age 9 chances out of 10 it is an affair.


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