# Growing weary



## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

I really love the advice on this forum. It has helped me in so many ways. I am just so tired of all of this $hit. I just want it to go away. If I didn't have kids I would pack up tomorrow and move to Colorado. I am tired of questioning every word she says. Frankly I am tired of looking at her. I am going to see our MC myself Monday. Maybe I am done. I am just so lost.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigLiam (May 2, 2012)

What does your lawyer say about your chances of custody and re alimony?
My life is much happier now that I am out. It took a couple years, though, to start feeling alright.


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

You dont have a time machine, you cant go back and prevent any of it from happening. All you can do is accept where you are and ask yourself what you can do to make the situation better, and in what way, if any, your partner can help you.

Using your kids as an excuse/justification for staying in a relationship you have no real desire to fix will only lead to pain and suffering for you and your partner, and lots of therapy for your children in the future.

Things do get better with time, whether your partner is by your side or not. Hang in there.

-P


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

slater said:


> I really love the advice on this forum. It has helped me in so many ways. I am just so tired of all of this $hit. I just want it to go away. If I didn't have kids I would pack up tomorrow and move to Colorado. I am tired of questioning every word she says. Frankly I am tired of looking at her. I am going to see our MC myself Monday. Maybe I am done. I am just so lost.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How long ago was your dday?

I know you want it to go away man, we all do too. But we also all
know that it won't, yet it will get better. Give yourself time to heal yourself properly.......

Don't worry about the things she's saying... pay more attention to the things she doing... 
her efforts... only you can judge whether or not it's enough for you to be able to heal from it.

At first, I too wondered if it would've been different if we didn't
have 2 of the most adorable kids on the planet together... maybe. 
That's not what the situation was, so I can't answer honestly.

I too have days where it kills me to look her in her eyes.
Sometimes I think "this is the view HE (OM) got." or some other self-defeating thought.

It's hell.

Again, try to pull strength from any sources you can right now.
It's all about you and your kids well being. 

Let your WW flap in the breeze like a stale and tattered rag...
and then laugh as she tries to catch up to the *new* you.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

There's no shame in saying its over. R is difficult even under the best circumstances and the WS is 100% committed and doing the heavy lifting. It's darn near impossible if they aren't even doing that. They say only a third of marriages survive infidelity, and a significant percentage of that one third of couples, they aren't happy. 

If your WW is doing her best, then perhaps you should take a vacation from this forum and infidelity sites in general because they can be a major trigger and affect you badly if you aren't sufficiently healed. I know in the first year after DDay, I would really trigger from reading all the tragic stories of infidelity on the many websites I go to, and sometimes I would project that anger on to my fWW.


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

JB100 said:


> Slater:
> 
> Reading through your old posts, I have a few questions:
> 
> ...


answers;

1) I really don't know. there were probably months in the beginning they had sex 10 times. Near the end it may have been 6 months between encounters. After 2 or 3 it doesn't really matter.

2) She does not blame me- she takes full responsibility. The reason is he made her feel good about herself- then she felt trapped by it.

3) I am not a stay at home dad, but yes she earns more than me...though this year it may be close. In the past she earned about 2 times what I earned- and I earned a good living, enough to support a family. But she had no financial dependency. We live in TX- no alimony.

4) never got the post- nup done, though the reason wasn't that she was opposed. I have been reluctant to spend the 3-5k to get it done.

In Texas, even if we go "Fault", at most I will get 55% of the assets. Most go "no fault" because of this. She does travel a lot , so the chance of me getting primary I think is good. But Texas loves their mothers.

thanks for your input.


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## slater (Feb 3, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> There's no shame in saying its over. R is difficult even under the best circumstances and the WS is 100% committed and doing the heavy lifting. It's darn near impossible if they aren't even doing that. They say only a third of marriages survive infidelity, and a significant percentage of that one third of couples, they aren't happy.
> 
> If your WW is doing her best, then perhaps you should take a vacation from this forum and infidelity sites in general because they can be a major trigger and affect you badly if you aren't sufficiently healed. I know in the first year after DDay, I would really trigger from reading all the tragic stories of infidelity on the many websites I go to, and sometimes I would project that anger on to my fWW.



I think I may try this. I may take a LOA from this site if I can. Thanks everyone for your support. CTS- I am one month ahead of you dday was 2-1-12. Good luck.


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