# Child abuse



## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

Ok, I was just reminded of some facts depending on who u ask 10-25% of boys are molested and 30-50% OF GIRLS are molested. Understand IF you have 2 daughters odds are 1 has been or will be abused and usually by a family "friend" sometimes its a sleepover or someone u ask to drop them off somewhere or anything. Don't shoot everyone and lock ur kids down but be careful and ask questions. NOW if you are someone this happened to, this says NOTHING about you. At most that you need to be more careful who u trust but I guess you have found that out by now. So did this happen to me? No Why am I posting about this? Because children who are molested grow up to be adults with problems and issues. Not only do they have problems and issues, they don't know how to deal with them, they can't or won't get treatment and sometimes the treatment either doesn't work or doesn't work they way they like. So they are wondering around the world affecting everyone not just themselves. They don't think they deserve to be happy so they punish themselves by making everyone "hate" them, they use and abuse family and friends because they can't trust anyone. Granted it takes a lot of work to overcome and not just bury it deep where u think no one will see. Trust me some of us know without u saying a word. And yes its worse when ur mind and body come up with thoughts and feelings that make no sense (yes that's normal so your, not a freak) And there is help. Hell if you don't mind that I don't have a degree I will help you just stop inflicting pain on your family and kids because they really are innocent. Cuz if you really don't think u deserve to be loved there are easier ways than screwing everyone u know. So do us all a favor and ask someone, anyone for help. Ur not that bad and we dont deserve it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Blaine said:


> Because children who are molested grow up to be adults with problems and issues. Not only do they have problems and issues, they don't know how to deal with them, they can't or won't get treatment and sometimes the treatment either doesn't work or doesn't work they way they like. So they are wondering around the world affecting everyone not just themselves. They don't think they deserve to be happy so they punish themselves by making everyone "hate" them, they use and abuse family and friends because they can't trust anyone.


The above is a bit of an overstatement. While it's true in some cases, it's not true for a good number of those who suffered CSA. I now people who have been able to put their CSA in perspective and therefore it does not cause them to act out in the way you describe here. They do go on to have a healthy adulthood. Some sought help with counselors, etc. Some are just survivors who figured it out.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Holy MASSIVE oversimplification and WILD outcome assumptions. HOLY empathy. The PERSON are not "that bad"? And YOU don't deserve it. I know someone who needs "help".


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

This is the most disgusting and offensive and accurate painting of people with a broad brush that I have red in a very long time period I don't even know where to begin to point out how inaccurate this generalization actually is.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

EleGirl yes you are correct it is an oversimplification to make a point. And I do NOT think everyone who suffered CSA acts out it does seem to me that most everyone that acts out suffered CSA. BTW I greatly admire someone who has dealt with it especially by themselves without just "to stop feeling" Its my belief that if you just bury it that it seeps into other parts of ur life. The reason for my post is I know so many people who suffered then went on to sabotage themselves for something the DIDNT do that is NOT their fault. It was not meant as a judgment on anyone that suffered CSA.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> EleGirl yes you are correct it is an oversimplification to make a point. And I do NOT think everyone who suffered CSA acts out it does seem to me that most everyone that acts out suffered CSA. BTW I greatly admire someone who has dealt with it especially by themselves without just "to stop feeling" Its my belief that if you just bury it that it seeps into other parts of ur life. The reason for my post is I know so many people who suffered then went on to sabotage themselves for something the DIDNT do that is NOT their fault. It was not meant as a judgment on anyone that suffered CSA.


Whether you "meant it" or not, it was a massive victim blame. Not nice.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Perhaps emotional intelligence is not your


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

Yes Nobodyspecial a person who suffered CSA is not as bad as they CAN make themselves out to be in their own mind that they need to be punished 24/7 and they DONT deserve that type of punishment. And some people need help to overcome their experience because some people walk around believing that every bad thing that happens to them is because they are "bad" or they deserve it.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Blaine said:


> Yes Nobodyspecial a person who suffered CSA is not as bad as they CAN make themselves out to be in their own mind that they need to be punished 24/7 and they DONT deserve that type of punishment. And some people need help to overcome their experience because some people walk around believing that every bad thing that happens to them is because they are "bad" or they deserve it.


Honestly, you should just stop talking about this. You have no clue, and it is just offensive.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> Yes Nobodyspecial a person who suffered CSA is not as bad as they CAN make themselves out to be in their own mind that they need to be punished 24/7 and they DONT deserve that type of punishment. And some people need help to overcome their experience because some people walk around believing that every bad thing that happens to them is because they are "bad" or they deserve it.


Don't go into counseling. And don't back pedal. You said "*we *dont deserve it."


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

personofinterest said:


> This is the most disgusting and offensive and accurate painting of people with a broad brush that I have red in a very long time period I don't even know where to begin to point out how inaccurate this generalization actually is.


Yes personofinterest this IS a generalization based on a large group of people I have dealt with. And yes it is disgusting and offensive that a human life can be destroyed because of another person's action. Yes I know people who have had a loving and caring relationship that help them overcome what happened but I also know people who sabotage themselves by choosing a partner who will use their past against them for selfish reasons


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> Whether you "meant it" or not, it was a massive victim blame. Not nice.


So it is victim blaming to point out that some people operated every day of their life like everyone is out to get them? So is it victim blaming if you point out someone with ptsd and recommend they get help? If you were in a relationship with a vet that slept every night with a gun in their hand, it would be blaming to suggest they not do that and get help or would u say its ok thats just what they need to feel safe?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> Yes personofinterest this IS a generalization based on a large group of people I have dealt with. And yes it is disgusting and offensive that a human life can be destroyed because of another person's action. Yes I know people who have had a loving and caring relationship that help them overcome what happened but I also know people who sabotage themselves by choosing a partner who will use their past against them for selfish reasons


So, what? You are venting on behalf of these poor people? Don't vent on mine. I don't appreciate your badly framed, misguided and misunderstanding generalizations.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> So it is victim blaming to point out that some people operated every day of their life like everyone is out to get them? So is it victim blaming if you point out someone with ptsd and recommend they get help? If you were in a relationship with a vet that slept every night with a gun in their hand, it would be blaming to suggest they not do that and get help or would u say its ok thats just what they need to feel safe?


Recommend. Is that what you call it? Despite the fact that some people are not well helped when they do? Would you call this quote of yours either a recommendation or in the slightest bit helpful?

" So *do us all a favor* and ask someone, *anyone *for help. Ur not that bad and *we dont deserve it.*"

It does not sound like you are venting on THEIR behalf at all. But YOURS.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

personofinterest said:


> Perhaps emotional intelligence is not your


perhaps you are correct but CSA doesn't go away and it seems to be ruining more lives today. And I admit I have no proof but I believe a large number of addicts who end up dying from overdoses are victims of CSA


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

personofinterest said:


> Honestly, you should just stop talking about this. You have no clue, and it is just offensive.


OK please inform me


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> perhaps you are correct but CSA doesn't go away and it seems to be ruining more lives today. And I admit I have no proof but I believe a large number of addicts who end up dying from overdoses are victims of CSA



Unreal. In addition to having no clue and offensively spouting about CSA, you tap a total lack of understanding of addiction as well. Just. I can't even.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> Don't go into counseling. And don't back pedal. You said "*we *dont deserve it."


victims of CSA dont deserve to blame themselves because they are NOT a fault for what happened


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> victims of CSA dont deserve to blame themselves because they are NOT a fault for what happened


Interestingly though, that is very much not what you said.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> OK please inform me


There are studies, there are many stories of both childhood sexual abuse survival and addiction recovery. The journeys have similarities. But also each is unique. They are there to find. No one person could "explain it to you" in a neat and tidy way. It is quite and extensive topic.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Seriously, what really WAS the purpose of this post?


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

personofinterest said:


> Honestly, you should just stop talking about this. You have no clue, and it is just offensive.


So if you stumble across ignorance ur solution is to move on and not disturb it because as long as they dont know they are ignorant its ok?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> So *if you stumble across ignorance ur solution is to move on and not disturb it* because as long as they dont know they are ignorant its ok?


This is clearly not the case as I am trying to help you with your ignorance.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> There are studies, there are many stories of both childhood sexual abuse survival and addiction recovery. The journeys have similarities. But also each is unique. They are there to find. No one person could "explain it to you" in a neat and tidy way. It is quite and extensive topic.


So your point is its not ur job but I should shut up because it offends u? So u deny anyone who suffers addiction have EVER been the victim of CSA?


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> Recommend. Is that what you call it? Despite the fact that some people are not well helped when they do? Would you call this quote of yours either a recommendation or in the slightest bit helpful?
> 
> " So *do us all a favor* and ask someone, *anyone *for help. Ur not that bad and *we dont deserve it.*"
> 
> It does not sound like you are venting on THEIR behalf at all. But YOURS.


I recommend that ANY victim of CSA who lives every day blaming themselves to GET help. Do you recommend they self-treat?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> So your point is its not ur job


What is not my job? To participate in and support support groups for victims of CSA? To support dissemination of good information on the topic? To participate in studies about CSA? Those things ARE my job. And I do them. If a person wants information on the topic, it is easy to find. But I doubt your motives, as I have seen many people with questionable motives as indicated by your first post.




> but I should shut up because it offends u? So u deny anyone who suffers addiction have EVER been the victim of CSA?


I could not care less if you shut up. I said no such thing. And I am not offended. I am calling your post out on its merits alone. And where do you think no addiction suffer has ever been a victim of CSA? 

So I guess I return to what WAS your point in posting this thread?


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> Seriously, what really WAS the purpose of this post?


The purpose of this post was to say to someone who suffered CSA who blame themselves (not you) and act out with family and friends to STOP and let someone in, let someone help, to trust someone, to have faith. And maybe the reason life has been harder than it needs to be is because you are acting to punish urself with some of ur choices. (victim blaming if u want) So you dont know anyone who suffered CSA that punishes themselves? They push loving people (family and friends) away and they surround themselves with enablers and abusers. If you dont know anyone like that can I introduce you to some. Now I'm thinking its u that dont know what ur talking about.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Blaine said:


> OK please inform me


People are individuals and react differently to trauma. You are obviously projecting your own sense of being inconvenienced or annoyed by someone's response to CSA. You are talking out of your hindquarters, probably because you feel slighted by a victim of trauma who you feel slighted you.

You have no empathy that I can see, you are wrapping your disgust for victims in some thinly veiled attempt to "help" that just comes across as "do us all a favor and get over it or isolate yourselves so we don't have to deal with you."

I have rarely ever encountered someone who was actually this clueless and biased and.....just offensive.

It would be best to never speak of this topic again.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

NobodySpecial said:


> I would recommend you remedy your ignorance by doing a self study before you speak publicly in a very offensive way on a topic about which you know nothing. The material is there.


Thank you but I have and stand by what I say even though I am very sarcastic. IF YOU SUFFERED CSA AND BLAME URSELF (not everyone) and act that way then get help. You disagree?


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

Nobodyspecial-Its not ur job to inform people on a subject you care about was the question. Its fine if you question my motives, trust is hard to come by and I do not ask you to trust me.

personofinterest- you are very insightful and yes I know people deal with trauma in different ways and never intended to imply all victims of CSA are the way I described but I do not have disgust from them. On the contrary I love some of them very much and feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall and it is hard to watch them destroy themselves becasue someone trusted hurt them. But since you suggest I shut up and never speak of it again.

Does anyone know a chat room that allows Free Speach and freely expressing opinions and feelsing?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Blaine said:


> Thank you but I have and stand by what I say even though I am very sarcastic. IF YOU SUFFERED CSA AND BLAME URSELF (not everyone) and act that way then get help. You disagree?


You are not sarcastic. You are rude, offensive, and without empathy. So who in your life hurt your feelings, and why are you blaming it on CSA? YOU need help at least as much as any CSA surivivor I have ever seen.

That you don't SEE how appalling your entire demeanor is makes me wonder if you are mentally ill or sociopathic, honestly.

This is surreal.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> The purpose of this post was to say to someone who suffered CSA who blame themselves (not you) and act out with family and friends to STOP and let someone in, let someone help, to trust someone, to have faith. And maybe the reason life has been harder than it needs to be is because you are acting to punish urself with some of ur choices. (victim blaming if u want) So you dont know anyone who suffered CSA that punishes themselves? They push loving people (family and friends) away and they surround themselves with enablers and abusers. If you dont know anyone like that can I introduce you to some. Now I'm thinking its u that dont know what ur talking about.


Ok. I politely suggest that your manner of doing that was not very helpful. On a number of levels. It would be very difficult to sum up why and how in a post reply. But I suspect that is what PoI may be referring to when she suggest you stop. Do you really think just saying don't blame yourself and btw you are suffering from the consequences of your choices is going to be helpful to them after telling them to basically cut everyone ELSE a break? 

I think you are upset at the injustice and stomping your feet ineffectively. But that post was ineffective and your approach VERY unhelpful. Luckily, I doubt any struggling victim of anything would identify with your supposed advice. (Maybe even just based on you lack of logic skills.)


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

> Hell if you don't mind that I don't have a degree I will help you just stop inflicting pain on your family and kids because they really are innocent.


That's not always true. As we know now, sometimes it's a family that is the perpetrator. Or it's a family member that refuses to believe that the local priest, teacher, doctor, whatever would do those things ... or would do those things without adequate provocation. Imagine that some people think that 11 year olds are asking for it

Did you know that number of child brides is increasing in the US. Religious parents tht don't want to deal with the fact their daughter has been raped, just gets her married off. You're going to tel that one to just get over it......


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> Thank you but I have and stand by what I say even though I am very sarcastic. IF YOU SUFFERED CSA AND BLAME URSELF (not everyone) and act that way then get help. You disagree?


I will try to be quite clear about what I disagree with about your post, though I doubt you will get it.

1. I do not think it likely that your original post had the motivation that you later claimed it did. I think you were venting about the victim's impact to others.

2. Giving you the benefit of the doubt about your motive, the tone of your message was less than helpful and was more likely to put someone's back up. 

3. I disagree that a victim of anything should seek what you say, help from ANYONE. It is unfortunate but victims need to be careful to get the right help.

4. I think a victim (vs a survivor to use the lingo) who read your post would see what I and PoI likely saw in your words which is the blame. But also, that person is very likely not walking around consciously thinking day in and day out, gee I think I blame myself. Upon seeing your post, they are unlikely to think EUREKA! I am not to blame! And gee, my protective shield has downstream negative effects on me and others. Yah, just not seeing it.

I have tried to sum up. If I were concerned as you claim, I might have the card of support group to hand someone. But if I were you, I would keep my MOUTH shut and my ignorant opinions to myself.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> Nobodyspecial-Its not ur job to inform people on a subject you care about was the question.


I do consider it my job to inform people on a subject that I care about. That is why I am replying to you. 




> Its fine if you question my motives, trust is hard to come by and I do not ask you to trust me.


I am not operating on trust or lack thereof. I am operating on the words you wrote.



> personofinterest- you are very insightful and yes I know people deal with trauma in different ways and never intended to imply all victims of CSA are the way I described but I do not have disgust from them. On the contrary I love some of them very much and feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall and it is hard to watch them destroy themselves becasue someone trusted hurt them. But since you suggest I shut up and never speak of it again.
> 
> Does anyone know a chat room that allows Free Speach and freely expressing opinions and feelsing?


Free speech is a funny thing. It does not guarantee that people agree with you. Like PoI I hope you choose discretion over speech on this topic with your loved ones.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

The OP’s post disgusts me. I wouldn’t let you speak to my dog let alone one that has been a victim.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

Blaine, I think I feel what you are trying to express. You posted because someone is suffering in some way and you would like a remedy for that. (in my opinion) 
Who is suffering and what do you wish you could do to ease that suffering?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

PigglyWiggly said:


> Blaine, I think I feel what you are trying to express. You posted because someone is suffering in some way and you would like a remedy for that. (in my opinion)
> Who is suffering and what do you wish you could do to ease that suffering?


Actually, if you read the OP, the deal is that whoever is suffering is making HIS life difficult, so he needs them to get a grip....not because of THEIR pain, but because their pain is getting to HIM.


There is a VERY distinct difference. The antagonism was palpable.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Actually, if you read the OP, the deal is that whoever is suffering is making HIS life difficult, so he needs them to get a grip....not because of THEIR pain, but because their pain is getting to HIM.
> 
> 
> There is a VERY distinct difference. The antagonism was palpable.


I hear you but I don't want to cast that judgement.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

personofinterest said:


> Actually, if you read the OP, the deal is that whoever is suffering is making HIS life difficult, so he needs them to get a grip....not because of THEIR pain, but because their pain is getting to HIM.
> 
> 
> There is a VERY distinct difference. The antagonism was palpable.


Actually they are making their lives difficult. Every time they get close to happiness and success they shoot themselves in the foot and its heartbreaking to see. They risk a life that took years building, with memebers of their family that count on them and believe in them when they are told they are loved only to find out that person has lied about important things and so the family member doubts that they are loved. I'm glad that you have never loved someone like that.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

PigglyWiggly said:


> I hear you but I don't want to cast that judgement.


Thank you


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Blaine said:


> Actually they are making their lives difficult. Every time they get close to happiness and success they shoot themselves in the foot and its heartbreaking to see. They risk a life that took years building, with memebers of their family that count on them and believe in them when they are told they are loved only to find out that person has lied about important things and so the family member doubts that they are loved. * I'm glad that you have never loved someone like that*.


You might actually be able to use your own posting style to gain some insight as to why people act this way and would not take your mode of delivery kindly. Trauma reaction very often results in coping mechanisms, as you see not very good ones. But they work to do something for the person using them and provide them with some comfort, so they continue to use them. I would venture that you are using once such coping mechanism in this thread by misunderstanding, misrepresenting what other people are saying. There is no information at all to suggest that the person you are responding to has not "loved someone" in a manner that would break her heart to see them in pain. Yet for some reason, it comforts you to conclude that. There is no information to come to several of the conclusions about the methods, responsibilities or desires of posters on this thread.Yet one has to conclude that making such remarks have some value to you despite not being terribly effective.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

This place does have freedom of speech. You just did not expect disagreement. 

First hand knowledge may be used in a court of law, but it is hardly scientific or reliable testament to facts. FACTS. It may be a personal truth to you, but not for many. 

I understand your perspective and have met a few who act as you have outlined, but they are not the majority of the observations I have had. 

I think you were triggered by these people and events in your life and are having a very impatient response. You lack tact with your tone to your posts. 

i have little tact in my posts. I try, but I tend on the blunt side.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

threelittlestars said:


> This place does have freedom of speech. You just did not expect disagreement.
> 
> First hand knowledge may be used in a court of law, but it is hardly scientific or reliable testament to facts. FACTS. It may be a personal truth to you, but not for many.
> 
> ...


I wonder if English is not his first language?


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

NobodySpecial said:


> I wonder if English is not his first language?


please go down that road with caution and compassion........


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

PigglyWiggly said:


> please go down that road with caution and compassion........


OP. I did not mean to insult your language skills. I apologize sincerely for that post. Very rude and unkind.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Actually, if you read the OP, the deal is that whoever is suffering is making HIS life difficult, so he needs them to get a grip....not because of THEIR pain, but because their pain is getting to HIM.
> 
> 
> There is a VERY distinct difference. The antagonism was palpable.


I gotta go with Poi's take on orig post. That also was my first and still my understanding. Imho.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I gotta go with Poi's take on orig post. That also was my first and still my understanding. Imho.


That was my initial impression as well. At the end, it felt more like someone venting and not expecting to be met with any pushback. I suspect the lashing out in his posts is a dim reflection of some sort of suffering he's experiencing,


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Blaine said:


> Ok, I was just reminded of some facts depending on who u ask 10-25% of boys are molested and 30-50% OF GIRLS are molested. Understand IF you have 2 daughters odds are 1 has been or will be abused and usually by a family "friend" sometimes its a sleepover or someone u ask to drop them off somewhere or anything. Don't shoot everyone and lock ur kids down but be careful and ask questions. NOW if you are someone this happened to, this says NOTHING about you. At most that you need to be more careful who u trust but I guess you have found that out by now. So did this happen to me? No Why am I posting about this? Because children who are molested grow up to be adults with problems and issues. Not only do they have problems and issues, they don't know how to deal with them, they can't or won't get treatment and sometimes the treatment either doesn't work or doesn't work they way they like. So they are wondering around the world affecting everyone not just themselves. They don't think they deserve to be happy so they punish themselves by making everyone "hate" them, they use and abuse family and friends because they can't trust anyone. Granted it takes a lot of work to overcome and not just bury it deep where u think no one will see. Trust me some of us know without u saying a word. And yes its worse when ur mind and body come up with thoughts and feelings that make no sense (yes that's normal so your, not a freak) And there is help. Hell if you don't mind that I don't have a degree I will help you just stop inflicting pain on your family and kids because they really are innocent. Cuz if you really don't think u deserve to be loved there are easier ways than screwing everyone u know. So do us all a favor and ask someone, anyone for help. Ur not that bad and we dont deserve it.


 Wow, this is so wrong. I know many people who were abused as children, some in my own family, who are lovely, kind, caring, decent people living good and productive lives. Many happily married with happy kids. 
Maybe you have or have had an unhappy marriage, but don't assume its the same for everyone.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Blaine said:


> Actually they are making their lives difficult. Every time they get close to happiness and success they shoot themselves in the foot and its heartbreaking to see. They risk a life that took years building, with memebers of their family that count on them and believe in them when they are told they are loved only to find out that person has lied about important things and so the family member doubts that they are loved. I'm glad that you have never loved someone like that.


Many people lie, its not an child abuse victim's thing.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

Diana7 said:


> Wow, this is so wrong. I know many people who were abused as children, some in my own family, who are lovely, kind, caring, decent people living good and productive lives. Many happily married with happy kids.
> Maybe you have or have had an unhappy marriage, but don't assume its the same for everyone.


Diana7 I'm sorry if you thought that was about all survivors of CSA it WAS NOT. This was about a vocal minority, the ones that ask for advice because their life doesn't ever work out the way they want, then don't take it. They believe everyone has it out for them, they secretly blame themselves for their assault, even IF they were preteens when it happened, and they think they don't deserve happiness. This is the group I was speaking of (one person in particular that I know) So if you survived CSA I salute and admire you for ur strength and ability.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

Blaine said:


> Diana7 I'm sorry if you thought that was about all survivors of CSA it WAS NOT. This was about a vocal minority, the ones that ask for advice because their life doesn't ever work out the way they want, then don't take it. They believe everyone has it out for them, they secretly blame themselves for their assault, even IF they were preteens when it happened, and they think they don't deserve happiness. This is the group I was speaking of (one person in particular that I know) So if you survived CSA I salute and admire you for ur strength and ability.


Blaine is there any way that you can help or get help for "one person in particular that i know of" ? What is it that you want or need to be free from the anguish that you are feeling?


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

PigglyWiggly said:


> Blaine is there any way that you can help or get help for "one person in particular that i know of" ? What is it that you want or need to be free from the anguish that you are feeling?


I have tried everything I know from loving support to dispassionate advice. The other problem is she is very smart so she knows all the right things to say and knows what to do until urges overcome her own best advice. The only way to be free is to not feel. (i'm still working on that) Everything else is just helplessness.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Blaine said:


> I have tried everything I know from loving support to dispassionate advice. The other problem is she is very smart so she knows all the right things to say and knows what to do until urges overcome her own best advice. *The only way to be free is to not feel.* (i'm still working on that) *Everything else is just helplessness.*


Inability to feel is not freedom. It's a curse. 

Emotions are tricky. They have no on-off switch, you can't keep them from applying to certain people or situations. You have them and won't ever get rid of them. 

You can't lose your ability to empathize without losing everything else.


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