# Looking for Opinions



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I'm looking for objective opinions on a decision I'm trying to make. My 16 year old daughter is looking for experience in a field which my sister happens to work in. My sister lives an airline flight away so in order to volunteer at her clinic my daughter must to go live with my sister during the time she's volunteering. For some background my sister is married with two kids ages 9 and 4. 

I'm looking at sending my daughter there for a few weeks this summer. I have a couple reasons for doing this. One, all my family lives in that part of the country so my daughter will get a chance to visit. Two, she will get an opportunity to get some volunteer hours. My question is what is a reasonable length of time to send her?

My daughter would be volunteering at the clinic four days a week (matching my sisters work week). Other than that she wouldn't have much to do besides hang out at my sisters, read and play on the computer. 

My ex is pushing for me to send my daughter there for four weeks. I'm thinking, although she denies it, this is quite an imposition on my sister. She's got two busy little girls and a husband to consider. At some level she's going to feel like she needs to entertain my daughter as well. My thoughts are two weeks are plenty.

I'm getting a lot of opinions from people around me with vested interests. I am hoping to get some from disinterested third parties.

Thanks,


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Your daughter is old enough to make herself an asset rather than a liability for your sister. You could send your daughter for 4 weeks and if things just don't work out she could come home early.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

What does your sister say?


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

Definitely talk to your sister and see what she thinks. Being that your daughter is old enough she can definitely pull her own weight while there. Be it helping with your sisters kids, cleaning, cooking or whatever else.


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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

I'm in the minority but I'd say 2 weeks is acceptable....enough time to get some experience to see if she likes the field, as well as time for visiting without over imposing on your sister. If your sister is like me and it were for my niece, I'd say 4 weeks was okay even if it was a bit of an imposition. If it goes really well, you can always book it again the following year. I don't like to step on anyone's toes.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Thanks everyone for your input. It helps to hear what other people have to say.

Of course my sister says she's OK with it but I kind of feel like I'm putting her on the spot. I also offered to give her money so she's not out of pocket for food, TP etc. but she turned that down as well. I think I'll get her some kind of gift certificate for a night out with her husband somewhere if she won't take cash.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Just from a job perspective, I don't think 2 weeks is much of a learning experience. If your sister says she's OK with 4 weeks, I'd do that.

But make sure it's OK with both your sister AND her husband. Also make sure there is an understanding of your daughter's responsibilities while there, such as babysitting.


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## MyrnaLoy (Apr 23, 2013)

I agree with Chris Taylor-- 2 weeks is not a long time to get good experience at the clinic. I guess it depends on what type of person your sister is-- does she normally say yes to things she doesn't want to do. Some people (women especially) do that but many don't, so if she says it is not a problem, it probably isn't. As a mother with young kids, I'd be delighted to have a *helpful* teen around the house. As long as she contributes to the household (playing with the kids, doing her own laundry, helping with meals, etc), then I don't think it should be a hardship on your sister. 

As someone else said, you can always just compromise on 3 weeks. It's possible your daughter might get homesick too. Does she know your sister well? Does she like kids?

Good luck! Sounds like you have a nice sister and a good opportunity for your daughter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Thanks again for your replies. I really appreciate it. 

My daughter is pretty independant so I don't anticipate her getting homesick. Both her and her brother are as lazy as can be when they're with me however adults from outside the family tell me all the time how polite and helpful they are so I think it's just at my place that they're lazy. 

Both her mother and I will be giving her a talk about how she is to keep her room tidy, help around the house and offer to babysit to give my sister and her husband a chance to go out.


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