# newly wed already unhappy



## unhappywed6m (Mar 23, 2011)

Hello Everyone,

So I have been married to my husband for about 6 months now. We have been together for 5 years. I feel like I have been unhappy for a long time but I didn't want to hurt anyone by braking it off or letting anyone know of my unhappiness. Lately I just cant take it anymore so i decided to tell my husband about it. I feel like the only way to be happy is to move out because I feel like I am in his space. We live in this parents basement apartment and we don't have any kids or anything joint so it would be easy to walk away at his point. We don't have sexual attraction anymore and we never really had that great of a sex life. I have told him that I will consider counseling but I don't really know if it will work. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice?


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## canidothis (Mar 21, 2011)

You really should have said something before you got married! I understand it's hard to talk about things especially when you know it's going to hurt the other person..but you can't live an unhappy life. What kind of things are bothering you? Are they things you can work on together? Maybe if counseling won't be necessary if you two can sit down and work out a plan together.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Can you get it annulled?


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## days (Jul 26, 2010)

You were afraid to hurt the people around you, so you forced yourself to go on with it, hoping that it would make things better. And I don't care what people or society says...that is a real issue that exists in the marriage world. It's not something that people make up because they are trying to find a way out. Our life experiences make us do crazy things and sometimes those things are wonderful and sometimes those things are mistakes that we need to find ways to deal with. 

The only thing you can do is to be honest. It sounds so cliche, but it is the only way. Don't let your happiness be bound by fear. 

Be honest with yourself and maybe write down everything that you feel. make it simple and easy with an outline. just write something down on paper so you can see it. It's easier to believe something you can see. Analyze yourself. Don't be afraid. Sometimes the truth is hard, but that's okay because that's life. and don't hold anything back because you think it's going sound stupid, or can't be justified, or it's simply going to hurt you and your spouse.. No name calling of course...that's just a waste of breath and regardless of what decision you make, it will be best in the long run that you give the risk of anger and bitterness as little wiggle room as possible. Although there will be pain in this process.
There is a way to be happy. Go find your quiet place and think about what life means to you. And don't doubt yourself. you can stop forcing yourself. you can be free. just be honest.


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## unhappywed6m (Mar 23, 2011)

Thank you for all of the comments they are very helpful. 
We have been talking about it for three days how things arent going well. I feel like all I can do is repeat everything I have to say like he is not hearing me. I am at the point where things have gone so far that I dont know what to try anymore. He understands he needs to change but I have stoped asking him to do anything with me or for me so long ago it is hard to ask him again he always used to say no. He came home yesterday and I was not all loving and all he had to say was "Your still not happy?" We didnt change anything all we did was talk about it.


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## unhappywed6m (Mar 23, 2011)

The things that are going on is that he never really does anything with me we dont even eat dinner together the same thing or the same time. It is just like he does his own thing and I do my own thing and put on a good face for everyone.


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

See if he himself will get help! I was that way and it was me not my wife! I had things eating at me from the inside out. Things that I had no idea about. It worked! I feel better about me and that has changed alot to me for me. Get him help and then soon you will be asked to join in and GO. It will change more then you think and its not hard at all. I bet the hardest thing of all will be getting him to go! Also look up "Walk-Away Wife Syndrome"! Google it, read it, print it, and then hand it to him so he will read it. I wish that someone would have done that for me and I would not be in the mess that i am


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## unhappywed6m (Mar 23, 2011)

Thank you.


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