# Need some advice please!



## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

I'm getting ready to leave my husband and I need some advice from those of you who have gone through a divorce. I've been looking at apartments and I have been planning on getting one and getting it all set up for me when I decide to make the move. I plan on seeing an attorney but thought I'd check for any advice here in the meantime. Here are a few questions I need answers to:

(1) If I walk out of my situation and leave the house am I forfeiting rights to my house? (I wouldn't think so and I hope not! We are upside down anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter.)

(2) Will our bills be split evenly or does it depend on our income (he makes more than me).

I am trying to figure out how much I can afford on my own. Any advice is appreciated.


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## sherri1997 (Jul 9, 2013)

Hello -- it really depends on what state you are in about the house. If you leave the house, you might not be able to get back into it, if you decided to. If you have kids, then it could also impact the custody if you take them away from their home.

With the bills, it also depends on what state you are in. If you had these bills before marriage,ect. In my state, the debt is split 50/50

Good luck with everything ... this is a very hard road so if you are ready to leave and I don't know your situation, make sure you are 100% certain that you want it over.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Most attorneys offer a consultation for a minimal fee; some are free. I suggest you make a list of questions and schedule an appointment. 

1) it depends. I did but I didn't want the house anyway.
2) it depends - different states have different laws just as different countries do. Often it's based on income but only an attorney can answer that.

Don't rely on this forum for legal advice. You don't have to hire the attorney and drag it through court - sometimes it's just good to have a few answers so you can plan accordingly.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

It really depends on so much.
MOST of the time, if you leave the house you don't forfeit any interest in the house, but you might forfeit future possession. Again it depends on what's happening with kids.
Bills and property are all marital assets. The court has to figure out what is marital versus what is separate property, then figure out how to divide it all "equitably" which in a lot of states is not the same as 50/50. That's why you really have to check with an attorney in your state to see what factors a court will consider when splitting everything. 
Also check with the local bar association. Many have a pro bono section and attorneys may be able to provide some information for you.


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## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

Thank you all for responding to my post. I am definitely going to see a lawyer (hopefully a free consultation).


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

confusedchloe said:


> (1) If I walk out of my situation and leave the house am I forfeiting rights to my house? (I wouldn't think so and I hope not! We are upside down anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter.)


Moving out will not change your rights to ownership of the house. They will be what they are now.

However if you move out, you can lose the right to have access to the house.
If your name in on the mortgage, you are legally responsible for 50% of the payment. If he stays there you can make an agreement that he pays for the mortgage… basically he’s paying you rent to cover yoru portion of the mortgage.


confusedchloe said:


> (2) Will our bills be split evenly or does it depend on our income (he makes more than me).


This depends on a lot of things.
The state you live in. Do you live in a community property state or an equitable distribution state?
It can matter whose name the bills are in and who will get possession of anything that were paid by the bills. For example is there are charges for furniture and you get the furniture.. you will most likely get the bill for that furniture regardless of the state you are in.
Student loans are not community debt. The person who got the loan take it with them in the divorce.


confusedchloe said:


> I am trying to figure out how much I can afford on my own. Any advice is appreciated.


There are many things that impact all of this.

What state do you live in?

Do you have children?

How long have you been married?

What % of joint income do each of you earn? If his income is a lot higher than yours, you can probably get interim spousal support during the divorce. If you have children you can get child support. After the divorce you might be able to get spousal support and child support. You need to check into all of this.

You need to see an attorney. You can also use Google (or some search engine) to find out info on divorce in your state.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Forgot to say...

Do not move out until you have spoken to an attorney and have everything planned. There are things that can backfire if you do not do this the right way.


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## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

Thank you! Need to see a lawyer soon! I also am going to talk to him about leaving without saying anything because I am concerned about my safety. He has mellowed over the years, but I just don't know what could trigger something in him and he has firearms. I know it's probably very cruel to leave this way, but I have to watch out for myself.


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## rcgray60 (Jan 24, 2013)

my spouse do drugs and i am tired of it. im renting a house and i paid all the bills and now he want to fraud the insurance and do something crazy is there something that i can do he asked me about it and i already told him no but he think he will help us and now after i told him no he think im not helping him at all i been helping him for 7 years so enough is enough think cause he got bad tires think that is my responsible i feel he had money but he blew it what can i do. trying to blame me for his mistake, when i left for work today he call his self trying to talk to me which is unnormally for him looking groofy i need some advice on what i should do


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