# Announcing secret sexual fetish to SO



## cbachinger (Sep 13, 2007)

Most of us have secret fetishes that could actually make our SOs more attractive and also feel more appreciative.

For example, I have a bulge fetish - for those who dont know, this is when you love the sight of the woman's fleshy pubic area when wearing underwear, etc. and is what is also 'made' where the pubic hair is.

How would women react to such sexual fetishes? Would they think that you are really crazy (but a 'good' crazy) or would they get so excited that they have an easy opportunity to look sexy for you? Some may even have a beautiful body but they are quite conservative. Could this also then be a way how they were brought up? 

I mentioned this to two of my ex's and they took it quite well


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## juls (Apr 1, 2008)

When I finally announced that I loved being tied up blindfolded and teased beyond all belief...He loved it..Well he actually LOVED it....At first I was a little embarressed to say something but he said to me one day "ain't nothing you can tell me you like sexually that is going to make me feel any different about you"....It really helped me open up..


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I think it could go either way, depending on the woman. I guess 'Announcing' it sort of sounded like standing on the bed and shouting it loudly, lol, but for me personally if I knew the person well enough and we shared other intimate things, talking about sex and fantasies wouldn't scare me away and does make for a more interesting sex life when you feel more free to try new things. Fetishes could go either way...hearing about it would be one thing but if it were something that sounded really strange to me (for example, wearing diapers...read that in a forum somewhere) I would be concerned if they expected me to go along with it or wouldn't be satisfied otherwise. Yours actually is safe...easy for a woman to excite you without having to do anything outside of their comfort zone. Timing is everything for me...also fairly conservative when I was dating, if a man started talking sexual before I got to know them it was a major turn-off for me...but that's just me.


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## juls (Apr 1, 2008)

swedish said:


> ...hearing about it would be one thing but if it were something that sounded really strange to me (for example, wearing diapers...read that in a forum somewhere) .


:iagree:


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Yea timing is everything that is for sure. Not sure if I have any fetish, I don't know Maybe my wife is my fetish?? :rofl: I like to try new things sexually I am a very curious person by nature, always exploring everything and anything. But I learned over time and of my curiousities that I want to bring to my wife has to be done at the right time of month, which after 18 years I ahve picked up when to say something or keep my mouth shut  

I am turned on my wife by the simpliest of things, like a school boy dating for the first time.

I find some fetishes completely gross some are interesting. I also learned when I ahve seen the craziest thing out there....something else shocks me.

But my wife is very submissive, I ahd her dress in leather one time and some hot leather platform boots, and had her be a dominating woman, she LOVED it, it gave her a rush to have full control over me, to make me do what ever popped in her head, it totally goes against her nature as a person. But it was a fun role play experiment that we were both comfortable and had fun doing, because we love and trust each other.

So bottom line if you got a fetish, find someone you can enjoy it with.


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## demora (Jan 22, 2008)

Be careful with fetishes. They can be fun and exciting, but if it gets to the point where your SO feels that the fetish is more important then they are, it's not so fun anymore. I can't tell you the last time my husband made love me and not his fetish. I always have to pretend to be someone I'm not to fulfill his fetish, or he's not interested.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

that is true, you need to have a fair balance. 

My wife and I like to Role play, but there is a time and place for it. 

As long as I am with my wife I am happy, but she stated that as well.....

Role playing is fun, but mostly I want it just "us"

I got the point and the role playing is once in a blue moon,hitting on my hot wife....daily


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## mollyL (Dec 31, 2007)

I guess that it really depends on your fetish. It seems that some of you guys have a "secret" fetish that basically can be pleased without the conscious assistance of your SO. Some I suppose are simple, but the more complicated fetish (costumes, props) you've just got to have a willing partner. Those guys who have their wives as their fetish, good on ya.


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## cdy (Apr 20, 2008)

My fantasy has always involved my wife, and it is so weird and specific, that it almost seems more difficult to explain than some kinky bondage fetish. I have gently attempted to nudged her in this direction, but she laughed it off. We have been married 20 years, and she is amazing to me in every way. This fetish does not interfere with our sex life, which i consider wonderful (i think she does too). So, here it is; I am turned on by the idea of her orally worshipping my body (not my genitalia). I have used pictures of myself, or (here comes the weird part) internet pictures of guys who could broadly resemble my look/physical traits, and i fantasize that they are pictures of me. The mental image for me is of her being the aggressor on these pictures. I feared for a while that i was perhaps a latent gay, because researching this fetish has brought me to many gay websites. This fear has actually kept me up at night. I thought, "my God, what if?!?!" But i have ruled that out; NO WAY! I am not turned on by men, period. This seems to be a bizarre narcissistic fixation, and i think i need professional help to address it. I usually entertain this fantasy in the early morning hours before getting ready for work, then i am done with it for a few days; it does not interfere with my job or family time.
I attempted to reveal this to her a week ago, including the gay part. I have always felt tremendous guilt about it, and God forbid she or one of my kids walked in on me one morning. BIG MISTAKE! She was mortified, and remains so a week later. My revelation, was, in hindsight, selfish. Should have kept my mouth shut. Funny, the idea of revisiting my fantasy is, under the current situation, too bizarre for me.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Let me get this right CDY...

Your fetish is her Orally worshiping your body....via kissing and doing things to pictures of your body? Am I getting this right? But not physically on you? and what is witht his gay part, doesn't sound gay to me at all.

If I am correct, this is how I would have proposed it...One day when you and the kids are not home. You do a Photo shoot, 1 of your body, and then 1 of your wife's body.

Print out some of the pics, then see if your wife would do your fetish while you watched her, she could actually have fun with it, maybe give her a drink or two before hand to loosen her up.

Anyway, good luck in trying to fix the damage, for some reason you are feeling guilty about all this, and trust me there are far worse fetishes out there, I've seen some really gross stuff. Your's, not bad at all, my wife would do that for me no problem.


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## cdy (Apr 20, 2008)

GASoccer
thanks for getting back.
My fantasy is of her actually doing it to me in bed, and i have gently suggested it to her, and she laughed it off. So I have entertained this fantasy by using photos of myself, photos that show my bod or (the really weird part) pictures of other guys who I pretend are me, and get off on the idea that she is doing her thing on me (or the fictitious me). That's the part i thought was indicative of something gay or bi. But it cant be; i think of sex all the time, but it is sex with her ONLY. I am not a homophobe, but the idea of a man in bed is nasty to me. 
Let me get more specific; my fetish is over her worshipping my legs. Cant explain why. But i have always gotten complements from women (as far back as high school) on my legs, and it has always turned me on a lot.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

well all the sick People live in NJ anyway...LOL (I used to live there)

Anyway, This is what I tell you to do....First Do tit o your wife, what you want.

Then ask her to return the favor.

I think she will be game....Maybe a drink or two before hand would help.

Good luck, not that weird at all. trust me far worse out there


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## Green-Moo (Feb 5, 2008)

I would want to know if my partner had a fantasy. How else could I help fulfill it? If it wasn't something that I'd feel happy actually doing then perhaps he could get some satisfaction from talking about it.


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## Fritz (Apr 3, 2009)

I guess everyone has a fantasy.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

My fetish/fantasy satisified 28 yrs ago, now to seek higher more orgasmic.


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## Fritz (Apr 3, 2009)

I guess everyone has a fantasy.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Green-Moo said:


> I would want to know if my partner had a fantasy. How else could I help fulfill it? If it wasn't something that I'd feel happy actually doing then perhaps he could get some satisfaction from talking about it.


me too, if i thought my wife had a fetish or fantasy it would drive me wild and i would do anything to fulfill it (within reason of course).


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## Miss Sunshine (Apr 4, 2012)

I have two very secret fetishes that I would not reveal to my husband. I am not sure why I have them, but when I am alone, I think about them and masturbate to numerous explosive orgasms. The ones I have revealed and we act out I only allow them to be done every so often, it keeps them fresh and drives him wild. Same with his.


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

Everything is a matter of degrees. Fetishes to me are on a scale of 1-10.... My wife is comfortable about sex, but fetishes she has trouble with anything over a 1 or 2 on the fetish scale.

Tying up and restraining to a bed post can be fun (maybe a 2), then you push and ask that they tie you up restraining 100% or in all sorts of funny positions (google as my description does not do it service), which may be too much for some.

Then there are fetishes such anal, threesomes, s&m, cross-dressing, gay fantasies, rape fantasies, cuckold, swinging, lingerie, watersports........ All of which mean different things to different people,

Let's just say tread lightly with sharing.


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## Johnnyboy (Apr 2, 2012)

Hey cbachinger, I absolutely LOVE the bulge too. I' not so sure it's a fetish but merely loving a particular body part. I've noticed that the bulge grows larger as a woman gets hornier and hornier. The bulge is probably a design feature to help facilitate intercourse and we, being males who are vision oriented, probably intuitively associate the bulge with imminent activity. If it's a fetish, then I have, as I've joked about, a p-ssy fetish.

I told my SO that I loved the bulge and she said that she hated the way it looks or was embarrassed by it. I love to make love in the daytime primarily so I can see more. The fetist may be me wanting to stare at it as long as possible.

j


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

3 year old zombie thread alert...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LemonLime (Mar 20, 2012)

Miss Sunshine said:


> I have two very secret fetishes that I would not reveal to my husband. I am not sure why I have them, but when I am alone, I think about them and masturbate to numerous explosive orgasms. The ones I have revealed and we act out I only allow them to be done every so often, it keeps them fresh and drives him wild. Same with his.


well, now you have to tell us!


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## Fed up (Apr 9, 2012)

I am not saying what my fetish is, but at first my husband was weirded out. Then was for it and liked it, then used it agianst me to degrade me.


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Fed up said:


> I am not saying what my fetish is, but at first my husband was weirded out. Then was for it and liked it, then used it agianst me to degrade me.


that was a low blow


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Fed up said:


> I am not saying what my fetish is, but at first my husband was weirded out. Then was for it and liked it, then used it agianst me to degrade me.


I think it is fear of exactly this sort of situation that holds people back from discussing not just fetishes / fantasies but even quite mild degrees of sexual exploration.

That anything you say will be taken down and used against you in evidence at a later date...


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## Fed up (Apr 9, 2012)

Sawney, yes, that has crossed my mind.

I am about to the point of packing my bags. My husband is not a real vengfull person. But I am afraid if crap hits the fan he would use that knowledge against me to hurt me.

My family is very religous, I grew up in church, private school ect. Although I have not been going to chruch, I still have my familys beliefs, and values ingrained in me.
And my fetish, and pretty much most of what my husband and I have done in bed is a no no.
It would cause a lot of issues with my family should those things be brought to light.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Fed up said:


> Sawney, yes, that has crossed my mind.
> 
> I am about to the point of packing my bags. My husband is not a real vengfull person. But I am afraid if crap hits the fan he would use that knowledge against me to hurt me.
> 
> ...


I would say this represents the worst case scenario, where someone has done a u-turn and decided to use a behaviour they willingly participated in against their partner.

I'm lucky in that Mrs Beane and I are quite happy to discuss sex, and we have (more or less) very similar limits. Generally, we have been more than willing to have a punt, once or twice at least. Even if there's something one of us fancies that the other doesn't, we are able to be polite and reasonable about it and say something to the effect of "OK, fine, but it's not my cup tea, sorry". Unless it's out where you wonder if your partner ought to up before the courts, we're see eye to eye and can act like partners, not adversaries.

However, I suspect that at a lower level there are a great many people who won't reveal to their partners that they fancy something really quite pedestrian like oral, doggy, having the lights on or or just being uncovered because they fear (quite possibly with reasonable grounds) that such an admission will get them cast as a pervert and bring their sex life to a grinding halt.

The discussion of sex in some marriages is on a knife edge. I'm glad mine is balanced across a big, flat rock.


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## Antigen (Apr 9, 2012)

Fed up said:


> I am not saying what my fetish is, but at first my husband was weirded out. Then was for it and liked it, then used it agianst me to degrade me.


Why won't you say what it is?

No one knows who you are on here and it would be helpful.

Some urges ARE unhealthy and immoral.


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