# The Truth is not for you



## amIcrazy (Aug 22, 2010)

The Truth is not for you. "Tell me the truth, don't hold back anything from me. I can take it"

Bull!!!

That was you 8 months ago. Pleading with me to let you hear my inner most thoughts. You wanted to know what made me tick. You thought that we would be stronger. You thought you knew me.

I knew you were not ready. No one is. No one wants the un-abridged version of what rambles around in this head. I'm ... unusual.

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I got game. I'm good at manipulation, stroking the ego, victory in spite of concession. I ain't had plenty of women but the quality of what I have had surpasses the quantity that others have. Because I know how to keep a woman happy. I've got you at my beck and call and you don't even know it. You were as happy as any one man could make you. But the key to that happiness was mixing truth and tale. You take that away from me and I'm ... clumsy and inadequate.

Yes, I go to the strip club and have naked women dance on me, but I'd never sleep with anyone but you. See, I never told you that I went to strip clubs. But I always told you I was 100% faithful. You were extremely happy with this, proud that your man was one of the few. Now you know the truth and you feel betrayed and you don't "like" me anymore, love even further away. But you wanted that truth, you "needed" it.

No, I don't really care for family vacations and would rather travel with other guys or with you, leaving our children with some else. What I told you: Sure, a Disney cruise sounds great, let's book that and a trip to Vegas for us. 

Now that you heard the truth, you don't want to take vacations at all. I have yet to figure out why, I suspect it's because you feel guilty that I don't feel guilty for leaving our sons at home. 

Yes, I don't feel a need to wear a wedding ring, I don't need you to wear yours. It's a piece of jewelry and even without it I know you are mine and I am yours. 

But you took this as an assault. How could I not know "Why" I gave you a ring. I gave you a ring cause that is expected. I asked you to marry me cause you are the only woman I want to be with.

Yes, I get my way. I tell you I want to do "this" and I need you to do "this and this" so I can do it. You push back and I "talk" you into it. I get over on you. It's been that way for 10 years. The truth is you don't have to give in. But I never shared that with you...before today. I saw it in your face today, 10 years of repressed anger for making you bend. Now you wish to see me bend but find I am not as easy to manipulate. 

You can not be me and be with me. One more time....YOU can not be ME and be WITH me. I do not want to be married to me. If that is the road you want to travel it will not end well for us. You are not capable of thinking as I think. Caring and Not Caring for things the way I do. In your anger you think this is the perfect revenge, "feed me my own actions". The truth is I will not react as you reacted to me. What you perceive as insult, I perceive as normal. What you perceive as insult, I see as normal. There can not be two Kings in a house and I am no Queen.
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So, I'm at a that crossroad again. At the corner of "Bend" or "Break". She's not even asking for a large change, it's silly really. But it's another straw on the back.

Life is about change, but man I like the way I am.

This was written after my wife told me the following:
* that she will "do me" like I "do her"
* I don't want a wife, I want a roommate
* We don't need to take trips together, we can just go with our own friends and do our own thing.

We've been ... evolving ... for about 8 months now.
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I'm just venting but thoughts would be nice.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

You know what? I would much rather a man be honest and say they went to strip clubs, didn't want to go on certain trips w/certain people and say "hey....love the ring, but I don't wanna wear it all the time".....

Question is....if you started your relationship like this, a manipulator etc....how do you expect her to react to this other man showing up? 

If you were honest and told it like it was from the "get-go" then I'd say it's her problem....so?


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

wow... I wish my husband had been so bold as the locks on the house would be changed and I would never have to look back...

I would love it to be so clear that he could care less...

If I am reading this right, you are going to be just fine on your own.

It is not the strip club or the lack of ring or the vacation but I hear (I question my perception) a real my way or the highway tone. That is what trips my...
for me I am thinking it is the you can't be me and be with me. Maybe it is just that I am hearing things I hear over here. I have no idea what it is to be my husband. WHAT he does not get yet is what it is like to be me...

Do you get what it is to be her?


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## amIcrazy (Aug 22, 2010)

JustAGirl - I don't think there is another man. 

Honest from the get go huh...never tried it...I suspect that we would never have gotten past the boyfriend phase. I suspect a lot of folks wouldn't.

Shianne - "a real my way or the highway tone."...Your perception is right, this is the way I naturally feel. I am fighting this urge as I do think she complements me in a great way (the whole stronger for our differences thing). 

Do I get what it is to be her?
No, no one can understand another person fully. And once you do, the person you are understanding has changed to something else. 

However, can I understand some particular emtions she has, sure...she's frustrated, she feels betrayed, she feels used...I can understand that. I knew the truth would make her feel that way. I guess that is the truth. I've blocked her desires, betrayed her trust and used her subserviantness to my desire.

But life was ok, outwardly she appeared happier to me in the past then she does right now.

Perhaps she is happier today. She did mention that she felt "liberated" by standing up for herself. She just does it in such a condecending, mean spirtied, vengefull way that it offends me.

I don't want to stop her from doing the things that makes her happy. But when her happiness and my happiness collides something has to give. In the past she always gave, recently I've given. But it feels like she is never going to give again...and once I know this is true, it will be downhill from there.

I think...


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

While I do not understand her aversion to the strip clubs having been a stripper for a few years... I know that you are very unlikely to get much from those girls. 
The hiding it because you were sure she wouldn't want to know. Well, you have built a house of cards. If you knew that to be honest you would not have gotten past the boyfriend phase then I would guess you were never really "all in"... and saw this coming...?

Might need a new girl to push around as that seems to be more the goal. You need a more submissive woman that will take your requirements and like them. They are out there but you might want to try being honest about who you are and intend to be so that your next marriage will be more based in reality... The hiding and all that can't be all that great for you either.... 
maybe the hiding can be good if you are into that thrill... in that case I would stop wasting your money on marriage and buying rings because it is expected. Just be you and enjoy. Seems that was the paln anyway.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

amIcrazy said:


> JustAGirl - I don't think there is another man.
> 
> Honest from the get go huh...never tried it...I suspect that we would never have gotten past the boyfriend phase. I suspect a lot of folks wouldn't.
> 
> ...


"I don't think there is another man." LOL ok

"Honest from the get go huh...never tried it...I suspect that we would never have gotten past the boyfriend phase. I suspect a lot of folks wouldn't." Well how's that working out for you now? Seems to me, it would have been easier to find a woman who wanted you for the REAL you... But first you must be honest with yourself....


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Get in personal counseling. you seem mad and selfish. You are going to lose a good thing soon.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Dear AmICrazy:

I have been married for 28 years to someone I believe has sociopathic tendencies. 

Would you be willing to answer some questions for me?

I have read all your posts and so may things that you said are so similar to what my husband has said to me.

I would appreciate your help.

Thank you ~


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## Confused-Wife (Jan 26, 2011)

anx said:


> You are going to lose a good thing soon.


:iagree:


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