# I want out, but dont know how.



## abbylee (Apr 20, 2011)

I am beyond the point of being here. I want out of my longterm marriage, he is abusive and controlling and I just cannot take this anymore. But I fear the unknown more than I fear staying. I know that there is more for me out there, I know that I can take my kids and have a more peaceful life but what is that doing to them? Is my short term peace worth their long term happiness? I know they see what happens in this house and are not blind to the tension.. But do I take them from the only thing they have ever known? My teenager is showing signs of depression and that is scary for me. I know what he is doing in this house, he is controlling it. I need to be free of the demands and control. I have really tried, for 20 years i have tried, and nothing is ever ever right. I know I took a vow but I do not believe God meant for me to live like this....


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

When I was growing up my dad psychically abused my mom, he didn't care who was in the house. My mom let it happen for all those years out of fear of her life. I was 12 when we packed up and left while he was at work and moved 300 miles away.

When I was 14, I met a guy. I got pregnant within 3 months. We were together off and on for 4.5 years. Within these 4.5 years. He treet me the same way my dad treet my mom. He beat the crap out of me. Cheated on me. Made me feel like i was not worth anything. He claimed to love me. 

I was afraid to get away from him for good. He told me he would kill our son and make me watch if i ever left. He started abusing our son, when he was a little over a year. This is when i had enough of it. You never do that to a child!!! I didn't care what he did to me any longer. 

Everyone fears the unknown. You children deserve better then watching their father abuse you for all these years. If you do not take the steps to leave, more then likely your children will follow the same pattern as you and your husband. Do you have daughters, they will more then likely be in a relationship with someone who abuses her. Your son will more then likely be in a relationship when he abuses a woman. It is a pattern. A learned pattern.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

You are a free human being, you live in a free country.


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## abbylee (Apr 20, 2011)

He has never physically touched me in anger, just all of the mental games that he is so good at. And that is what scares me because now I watch my daughters cringe when they know he is coming home, the are so peaceful when he is working. He holds all of the cards, all of the finances, the car, the insurance.. I do not work, when the kids were born I stopped working to become a sahm, and now am disabled w a hereditary disease that has made it impossible for me to be employed. So here I sit, afraid to leave because I don't want to disrupt their lives, or make them go without something that they may need because I felt their father made my life hard. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he would just leave us..


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