# Wife diagnosed



## JamesLB (Oct 29, 2013)

Hi all. new here. 

My wife has been depressed for several years. Some good reasons for it such as physical pain from back issues. Family problems with closest sister and her husband are dead broke and begging. Fighting the INS which was trying to deport her over something really trivial. Sisters health sucks too. And I'm not a model husband as I disappear for months at a time to Thailand to play golf to escape the depression she has been in for 10 years.

Finally, after begging and threatening I got her to see a therapist. She was told she is near a nervous breakdown. 

One would think she would continue seeing the therapist and try to get better. but she resists returning. Instead, she is hyper-sensitive to anything I say that might be critical and difficult to have any fun with.

If anyone has advice on how to get someone to continue therapy I'm all ears. (No, I don't look like Obama ). I'm not convinced therapy will fix everything. Her early childhood has some horror stories in it and maybe nothing will help. But at the rate we are going I will seek divorce soon as I don't intend to live with a depressed person the rest of my life and I've given it 10 years and resolved the INS issue and many other nagging problems. heck, maybe the first 18 years of marriage she was depressed too and I just lost myself in my work and didn't notice. SInce I retired 10 years ago tho things are bad.

So, I'm open to how to get her to get therapy and comments on if I'm a bastard for thinking of leaving her when everyone else in her life has left her in the past too. Guilt much? You bet.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I believe people can suffer from depression, but I also believe people can keep themselves where they are by not trying. I'm not sure if shes on any depression meds or not, but even that can only help but so much. It may come down to you having to dish out an ultimatum. However, you really can't make someone go into therapy, they have to want the help. You may have to make a decision for yourself, if you feel you have tried everything, and that is either continue to stay in the relationship or move on.


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