# Fiance doesn't like my perfume?



## Anon220 (Jun 11, 2020)

Hi y'all! I'm new to this and wasn't sure what forum to even post under, but I suppose I'm looking more for men's opinions on this.

I will try and keep it short.
I feel kind of silly even posting, but it struck a nerve and even hurt my feelings a bit (which makes me feel even more like an idiot lol)

After getting ready for work this morning, my fiance mentioned maybe installing a fan in our half bath. Said my perfume smell was way too strong - which, granted I probably went a little overboard today, but it's hot out and I work very closely to my clients. Anyhow - fast forward to tonight, he brings it up again. Asks if the brand was different or maybe they changed their formula, etc. Mind you, I've worn this scent since we met and he used to LOVE it. Wanted me to spray it on his pillow when I would leave, he loved it that much! He says he thinks it smells different and out right said he doesn't like it anymore. Like I said, not gonna lie - for some reason it hurt my feelings. Then he goes on to say, maybe your hormones are different and it's messing with the scent? That struck me wrong cause I know the whole thing about being attracted to your partners by their scent and I've always had older women tell me if they don't like your scent, they don't like you! Perhaps I'm reading waaay too much into it and it's simply he doesn't like it. You can't help what you do and don't like and I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt my feelings and I appreciate his honesty, but man...my feelings are hurt and my mind is playing those tricks of - he's not attracted to you anymore! He's lost the affection for your scent! 

Ugh. Bless y'all if you've read this far! Am I just worrying over nothing?


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Anon220 said:


> You can't help what you do and don't like and I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt my feelings and I appreciate his honesty, but man...my feelings are hurt and my mind is playing those tricks of - he's not attracted to you anymore! He's lost the affection for your *ARTIFICIAL* scent!
> 
> Ugh. Bless y'all if you've read this far! Am I just worrying over nothing?


Do you only wear one perfume?

Not alot of guys wear perfume on the worksite, but if I had to work in close proximity with an overwhelming perfume/cologne, I'd get a pretty bad headache.


----------



## Anon220 (Jun 11, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> Do you only wear one perfume?
> 
> Not alot of guys wear perfume on the worksite, but if I had to work in close proximity with an overwhelming perfume/cologne, I'd get a pretty bad headache.



Yes, I only wear 1 perfume. And I totally understand the whole headache thing - that's exactly why I wear what I do. Most others give me a headache as well, so I try and be mindful of dosing myself lol. I don't think he has that issue though - he just outright said he didn't like it anymore.


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Anon220 said:


> Yes, I only wear 1 perfume. And I totally understand the whole headache thing - that's exactly why I wear what I do. Most others give me a headache as well, so I try and be mindful of dosing myself lol. I don't think he has that issue though - he just outright said he didn't like it anymore.


Is it a fruity or spicy scent?

Perhaps an afternoon out shopping for a new scent together could help the situation?


----------



## Anon220 (Jun 11, 2020)

OnTheFly said:


> Is it a fruity or spicy scent?
> 
> Perhaps an afternoon out shopping for a new scent together could help the situation?


It's a musk. He did mention he thinks it smells "fruity-ier" than normal - which to me, musk has no fruit to it whatsoever. 

I like that idea! I'll bring it up to him and see if he'd like that.

I really, really love my perfume and the thought of changing it kind of annoys me, if I'm honest. But I don't want the man I love to hate the way I smell either!


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Anon220 said:


> It's a musk. He did mention he thinks it smells "fruity-ier" than normal - which to me, musk has no fruit to it whatsoever.
> 
> I like that idea! I'll bring it up to him and see if he'd like that.
> 
> I really, really love my perfume and *the thought of changing it kind of annoys me, if I'm honest*. But I don't want the man I love to hate the way I smell either!


Understandable.

Scents can be a tricky area to navigate. I prefer fruity perfumes, but the one my Mom wore was musky. It brings a wave of sentiment if a catch a whiff of it.......not sure where I'm going with that, haha

Anyway, if he's not being a total **** about it, grace from both sides will go a long way. I just hope nobody has to die on this hill.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Well my wife picked out a new cologne for me to wear (Polo Red) and REALLY liked it in the store.
After about two weeks, she HATED it. I wouldn't be offended. See if it really IS the scent. Spray it on cloth (like he did with his pillow) and after a few minutes, see what he thinks.


----------



## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

There are so many perfumes out there, from light to heavy, sweet to citrus, floral to green smelling. Can you go to your local department store and get a few samples to try over the next couple of weeks? You will be surprised that there are many scents out there that you will like as much or more than your favorite, and that your fiance will also like. (I'm embarrassed to admit that I probably have 20+ perfumes. I wear them for different seasons, moods, activities, etc. I LOVE good smells.) Maybe you each can get new scents together and turn it into something fun?

My husband doesn't like one of my perfumes, and I have to admit that it is rather an unusual scent: Elixir, by Lancome. I only wear it once in a while in the winter, but not when I am going to be around him since he doesn't like it. There are a couple that he really likes, and I wear those especially for him, but not often, since they are heavy.

And it is true that scents can repel or draw a person closer. If he isn't liking your perfume, definitely quit wearing it and find something else that you both like. It doesn't mean he will always not like your old perfume. You might try wearing it again after you have worn other perfumes around him. If he gets used to you smelling different, but always good, he might be open to the old one again.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

OnTheFly said:


> Not alot of guys wear perfume on the worksite, but if I had to work in close proximity with an overwhelming perfume/cologne, I'd get a pretty bad headache.


Yep, a lot of people are allergic to perfumes or just find them irritable.

I used to wear perfume but cannot anymore because I have an allergic reaction.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Anon220,

How long have you dated him?

Does he complain about other things? If so what?


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Anon220 said:


> Hi y'all! I'm new to this and wasn't sure what forum to even post under, but I suppose I'm looking more for men's opinions on this.
> 
> I will try and keep it short.
> I feel kind of silly even posting, but it struck a nerve and even hurt my feelings a bit (which makes me feel even more like an idiot lol)
> ...



1. You say it is hot out, is it possible the perfume has gone off, perfumes only last a few years and less in hot weather. If you store it in a bathroom with no ventilation, maybe worse.
2. When we wear perfume we do not really smell it because we become desensitised. I have a colleague who gets headaches with strong perfume and will point it out if any of us overdo it.
3. I don't think this is a personal issue of your BF not liking your scent per se. Is it a strong musky perfume? 
4. Perhaps go with another more delicate perfume for day wear.


----------



## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Anon220 said:


> I've always had older women tell me if they don't like your scent, they don't like you!


That could be true, if "your scent" means the natural scent of your body, but not true for the stuff you buy from the store. 

I guess you are noticing that things change, and that a relationship does not stay static. It won't always be at that first intense bonding stage. Which is not entirely a bad thing. Are you noticing other changes in how things are?


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Yep, a lot of people are allergic to perfumes or just find them irritable.
> 
> I used to wear perfume but cannot anymore because I have an allergic reaction.


Yup, my wife the same.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Scent and taste preferences change throughout our lives. When I was a kid I HATED peas. Hated. With passion. By my mid-20's I loved the lil green bastards. In my 20's I HATED seafood. Period. Ick. By my 30's I'd found a lot of seafood and even sushi to be delicious. It's entirely possible his taste in perfume has changed.

We humans are chemical engines. Women's hormones change over time. It's possible your natural scent has changed and your perfume just doesn't mesh well with your natural scent anymore.

Of course, a lot of manufacturers change the recipe or how ingredients are sourced and don't excatly advertise that fact, so that could be why.


Anon220 said:


> I've always had older women tell me if they don't like your scent, they don't like you!


They aren't referring to your perfume, dear. Natural scent plays a role in physical sexual attraction.


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

My husband has cluster headaches and perfume or strong smells are a major trigger.

Before getting headaches he used to buy my favorite perfume and he liked it. He still likes the smell, but it is a trigger. He also used to wear cologne and I loved the way he smelled.

We both enjoy a fragrance free life now. I use a scented lotion but I have to stay away until the smell evaporates a little bit. 

I've gotten so used to not using any fragrances that I get a little headache when I'm around people wearing strong perfumes. 

I think perfume has nothing to do with attraction.


----------



## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

If my husband no longer likes my perfume......

I stop wearing it.

Duh


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Fragrances change with differing weather conditions, changing body chemistries and with time. Also, fragrance houses alter their products over time to comply with new regulations, deal with price increases or supply issues, or even just to "freshen" the scent for a more modern audience. A 3-year old bottle of fragrance will smell different to a new one off the shelf. That same bottle will also smell different, hopefully subtly so, to the way it smelled when it was new. 

So, what are you wearing? How many sprays of it? How long have you had that bottle? Is it a flanker or a "redesign" of your old fragrance? Has your diet or your medical situation changed recently? Are you layering scents that might be competing - old perfume, new shampoo or body lotion? 

Is him being around you when you first apply a relatively recent thing? Maybe he loves the dry-down he experienced when dating you but can't stand the loud sharp top notes he's now getting immediately after you apply.

Also, if the weather if warming up, you may find that you need to wear less - not more - of your perfume, or that a lighter version (edt instead of edp) or even a different scent with similar notes, would be better.


----------



## Anon220 (Jun 11, 2020)

secretsheriff said:


> If my husband no longer likes my perfume......
> 
> I stop wearing it.
> 
> Duh


Yeaaah - maybe a no brainer to some, but I like my perfume and it's about the only one I can stand. We'll find a compromise I'm sure.


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

My husbands fav perfume (on me, lol) is Beautiful, by Estee Lauder. He goes absolutely wild when I wear it, so needless to say, I wear it often even though it's not my favourite.

My fav is Rive Gauche, by YSL. I used to wear it all the time until once when we were dating, I ran out of it, so wore Beautiful instead, and he went crazy rofl. I thought to myself "Hell yes, I be wearing this one from now on!" 🤣


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Anon220 said:


> Yeaaah - maybe a no brainer to some, but I like my perfume and it's about the only one I can stand. We'll find a compromise I'm sure.


It's a no brainer to stop wearing that perfume. There are hundreds of different perfumes out there... have an open mind. That can't be the only one you like. If it is, then maybe you should just stop wearing perfume all together. Personally, if you're working closely with other people/clients you shouldn't be wearing it anyway 🤷🏻‍♂️ Certainly not heavily.

Why don't you try a perfume subscription box like Scent Box? You get a few different perfumes each month and may find something else you like without wasting a ton of money.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Anon220 said:


> Said my perfume smell was way too strong - which, granted I probably went a little overboard today, but it's hot out and I work very closely to my clients.


are you sure you are not putting too much of that perfume on? When it’s hot out -we all sweat more. Heaving more perfume does not fix that, it often makes it worse. Your clients might not be too happy either about you spraying yourself so generously because it is hot.
It bother him apparently. My husband has asthma and allergies, I had to give up in all fragrant body or face lotions. I love Bath and Body Works but I do not shop there anymore. It can be done.


----------



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

OnTheFly said:


> Perhaps an afternoon out shopping for a new scent together could help the situation?


That'd be a good Idea, OP.



Anon220 said:


> It's a musk. He did mention he thinks it smells "fruity-ier" than normal - which to me, musk has no fruit to it whatsoever.


Usually, fruitier/flowery perfumes are prone to become boring quicker and give headaches, but in case of a musky perfume, usually it's more relaxing so you either might be putting on too much or you've overused the very same perfume over the years that your H got bored with it. 



EleGirl said:


> Yep, a lot of people are allergic to perfumes or just find them irritable.


I don't think "allergic" applies in this case. OP's H used to like the perfume but now doesn't anymore, so if he had been allergic to perfumes, he would've *never* liked it in the first place.



bobert said:


> it's a no brainer to stop wearing that perfume. There are hundreds of different perfumes out there... have an open mind. That can't be the only one you like. If it is, then maybe you should just stop wearing perfume all together.


Oh c'mon! 
It's not that she should simply stop wearing that perfume. 
You know difficult is to find one perfume that really matches your personality type, skin scent, skin type, skin's natural odor ...and so on??? It's not that easy! Especially if she's been wearing it for so many years, she identifies herself with that perfume. 


OP, try spraying less of it at a time. See if you're putting on too much. If you're into musky odors don't go for fruitier/flowery ones, otherwise they'll give both of you headaches. 

Maybe, "float" around the musky types and see if you can buy a similar one or maybe try the_ eau de toilette_ version of this perfume and not an _eau de perfume _(which is heavier).


----------



## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Anon220 said:


> Hi y'all! I'm new to this and wasn't sure what forum to even post under, but I suppose I'm looking more for men's opinions on this.
> 
> I will try and keep it short.
> I feel kind of silly even posting, but it struck a nerve and even hurt my feelings a bit (which makes me feel even more like an idiot lol)
> ...


I'm sorry, I bet that would take the wind out of your sails a bit. 
It is odd that he used to like it and now doesn't. Does it smell the same to you?
I guess, unless you love the stuff and do not want to change you can take him with you some time and sample some fragrances and pick out another one that you both like. 
Plus, it wouldn't hurt to have one he really likes that you wear just for him and only on date nights with him....it sounds like you wear stuff everyday for everyone you are around.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Girl, girl, girl. Please stop obsessing LOL, and understand that YOUR scent is not the perfume you wear. YOUR scent is your natural body fragrance. It's the fragrance that is produced by your hormones (and the foods you eat). We all have pheromones, which are chemicals that excrete outside our body. When they excrete, they act like hormones, which our body use to attract the opposite sex. Those are the hormones and body scents the older women were talking about. 

So lighten up and go ahead and change perfumes since he doesn't like it anymore. And honestly, it might just be how heavily you spray it is what he doesn't like. Even the best scents smell terrible when they are too strong. But change anyway. The best idea is to spray very little at a time and then freshen it throughout the day, maybe every 3 or 4 hours, but still just a little at a time.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There are a couple of possibilities. He used to like it but now it smells offensive to him. So maybe the perfume is old, but the biggest possibility is that it no longer smells good on you and is no longer the right perfume for you. We had this problem with a member of our family, and it's the family's duty to let them know. She smelled awful, sharp, pungent, just horrible. And she's a narcissist, so she can't take any criticism at all from anyone and would fly into a rage. I don't think her perfume (an expensive designer brand) ever did anything but ruin her scent. She was smoking at the time, so that was doubling the problem, of course. I mean, it was an ugly smell every time she wore it. She bought a new bottle, and it still was the same. It was her body chemistry and the smoking combined, I think. She hasn't smelled bad once she gave it up and also quit smoking. But it wasn't just the smoke smell, because at that time, I smoked too. It was the whole package and the way it reacted to her body and the smoking that did it. 

I don't believe any perfume smelled good on me when I was young, very rare that it stayed smelling good longer than 30 minutes. And I think that's true of a lot of people. Perfume goes sour on a lot of people. You could try a scented shampoo instead.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

A persons smell just changes. When i met my wife she wore 5th Avenue. Now it seems too strong for me. We went perfume shopping and i could not put down the cards sprayed with Elizabeth Arden's Provocative Woman. I buy her bottles of it now. Also Provocative Interlude with its hint of orchids. She liked Armani Mania for me.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Anon220 said:


> Yes, I only wear 1 perfume. And I totally understand the whole headache thing - that's exactly why I wear what I do. Most others give me a headache as well, so I try and be mindful of dosing myself lol. I don't think he has that issue though - he just outright said he didn't like it anymore.


How about you and your guy go out some Saturday and Sunday and shop for different perfumes,HE LIKES. Buy 2 or 3 that he likes that don't give you a headache. You need to ask yourself what is more important, What you like to smell like or what the makes you smell the most attractive to the man in your life?

Periodically, when you change perfumes, ask him if it makes it seem he is going out with another woman. Tease him a little, ask him if it reminds him of dating an old girlfriend. Play with it. Ask him you can be "the other woman in his life." His brain is his largest sex organ.

Good luck.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

yeah, it is a thing. Some men are turned on by certain smells, and equally turned off by others.

For one christmas, i went to a good quality fragrance outlet store, and got to try a ton of different fragrances. you know, they put a drop on a paper strip, wave it around, and let you smell. I was actually surprised at how many of them i did NOT like.

bring him along to such a store, try various ones that you like, and let him smell them. i am sure you can find a mutually agreeable scent.

While you are at it, get him some fragrance too....one that YOU love to smell.


----------



## Dadto2 (Aug 11, 2020)

Not sure if you wear an expensive perfume or not, but my wife likes one scent that is quite expensive. I usually buy it at a big name department store, but saw Amazon had it for much less. But a lot of the reviews complained it didn't smell the same and may be a knockoff. Maybe that's the issue with yours, maybe not.

Regardless, if your H doesn't like it, you should find one he does. But he could have been more tactful in how he told you.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Dadto2 said:


> Not sure if you wear an expensive perfume or not, but my wife likes one scent that is quite expensive. I usually buy it at a big name department store, but saw Amazon had it for much less. But a lot of the reviews complained it didn't smell the same and may be a knockoff. Maybe that's the issue with yours, maybe not.


perfumes go bad over time too, and start smelling nasty....
if it is an expensive big bottle, you might be trying to make it last beyond its expected use date?


----------



## jhyerichardson02 (Mar 4, 2021)

Dolce and Gabbana pour femme is wonderful as nicely, raspberry and marshmallow.


----------



## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Anon220 said:


> Hi y'all! I'm new to this and wasn't sure what forum to even post under, but I suppose I'm looking more for men's opinions on this.
> 
> I will try and keep it short.
> I feel kind of silly even posting, but it struck a nerve and even hurt my feelings a bit (which makes me feel even more like an idiot lol)
> ...


Just change your perfume. Or if you love it, wear it when he's not around. My ex used to wear this cologne, every time he would wear it, we would get into an argument. I don't know why, but it must have been something with the cologne, maybe it triggered something...sometimes smells do that, not that I hated it. It was weird. It didn't happen with any other cologne but this one. Lol.


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

well it is pretty darned clear you have to change your perfume.
maybe even stop wearing one.

the best compromise is you take him along to find a scent you both like.


----------



## llanosline (3 mo ago)

Perhaps you don't know how to choose perfumes and don't feel that your perfumes have a strong aroma that can confuse people living with you. It is best to start tasting with the freshest and lightest flavors.


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Not saying this is the case, but there are a lot of fake perfumes out there. Perhaps the last one you got was counterfeit and you just didn't know it. Bottle looks the same, but smell is usually more potent. There are a lot of counterfeits on Amazon and at local perfume chains.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

First you should try a new bottle of perfume. And then you should have someone like a friend or relative smell it on you and after it's been on you for a couple of hours and see if they think it smells good or not.

Body chemistry changes can make perfume just stop working on you. I never have been able to wear it without it turning on me. My sister used to use a lot of a certain designer scent and it's just smelled sharp and offensive on her.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Zombie Cat says: "This doesn't smell like perfume. It smells like dead zombie threads! Yuk!"


----------

