# Fair, Unfair, I don't know what to do.?



## armyy_wife (Mar 8, 2011)

I've only been married about a month now. Everything was fine with me and my husband when we were dating, but still had some bumps in it. 
Recently we been fighting a lot. I try to resolve the issues up front, but he just likes to sit around and not try to fix anything. Not only is that one of our major problems, he also hurts me, emotionally really bad. I don't do anything to deserve the way I get treated. He recently started bringing up past girls and how they looked and what they did "in the bed" and all kinds of information I honestly don't care for because number 1, it's really none of my business, and number 2, it's in the past so I really don't care.
Well, yesterday while we were in the car, he said something that just triggered what I had been holding inside. . . which yes, I did lie about in the beginning of our relationship, but like I said before, it's none of his business and at the time I didn't know him.
So after he told me about him and this other chick, I was like yea well that's why I did sleep with so and so. This so and so character is someone who works in the same company as my husband, and me and him got together one time when I first moved up here to ny. Once he found this out he said "**** you you stupid *****, I want a divorce, you're a ***** a liar and blah blah blah.". But get this right, he lies about EVERYTHING! And, I was tired of hearing about him and other females so, I figured I'd hit him where it hurts.
Well, now he won't talk to me, he is about to deploy in 5 days for a whole year. I keep telling him it's the past, I didn't know you at the time, it's none of your business honestly, and you know what, I was tired of hearing your bull**** stories. And it's not like I cheated on him.

SO what I'm getting at, is it right for him to be acting like this about something that happened before me and him even met? 


PS : he also feels his stories are different compared to what I told him because he's a male and I'm a female. BULL****.


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## Sunsh1n3 (Mar 8, 2011)

Hi there, 

i know exactly what it feels like to get hurt emotionally. My boyfriend cheated on me and after i gave him a second chance he somehow thinks he has the upper hand! I think he actually enjoys it when im upset. 

Its not right for him to constantly throw these other girls in your face, how is that a good marriage! it sounds like hes hurting over sumthing and ud need to get to the bottom of it before he goes. It does sound like hes abit paranoid and equally wants revenge. But if uve done nothing wrong then u shouldnt be made to feel like this. 

men are good manipulators so try to stay strong and ull get threw this. just listen to him and have ur say also. But if he continues like this then i really dont see the point in staying with sum1 who makes u feel like this! hope ive helped!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hi and welcome to the forum. Sorry you are having a tough time in your marriage though.

What your husband is doing absolutely isn't right. Since your husband is leaving in a few days, you may want to focus on YOU while he is away. Find and individual therapist and read marriage/self help books. You will have time to really explore this relationship and be better prepared for when your husband comes back home.


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