# Communication



## sweetsouthern1025 (Sep 30, 2013)

Me and my fiance have been together a little over a year, when we first started talking he would communicate with me but since then he has shut down.. I had a miscarriage and that made things harder, but not long after the miscarriage I got pregnant again and the whole time I was pregnant he was distant. Our son is now 2 months old and he barely has anything to do with him and still doesn't talk to me. He is always on his phone and talking to everyone else.. I need advice on what I should do. I love him, but I hate not having communication....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

A relationship is nothing without communication.

Talk to him. 

But honestly, it sounds like he's just not that into you. You just had your baby and he should be treating you with happiness and in a loving way, not like you are a nuissance to him. That's pretty messed up, considering you just had your kid.

What is it that made him shut down? Have you asked?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

sweetsouthern1025 said:


> Me and my fiance have been together a little over a year, when we first started talking he would communicate with me but since then he has shut down.*. I had a miscarriage and that made things harder, but not long after the miscarriage I got pregnant again and the whole time I was pregnant he was distant. **Our son is now 2 months old and he barely has anything to do with him and still doesn't talk to me. He is always on his phone and talking to everyone else.*. I need advice on what I should do. I love him, but I hate not having communication....


It doesn't sound like he wanted to be a Father...was having a baby ever talked about before you had the miscarriage?


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It doesn't sound like he wanted to be a Father...was having a baby ever talked about before you had the miscarriage?


Not necessarily... Maybe he really wanted to be a father and literally saw the misscarriage as the death of a child. So he also fears the new baby, mortality, etc. and it's hard to talk about. He might be hurting still and too proud to admit it.

And well... during times of intense stress or trauma, we rely on our spouses for that support. You can seriously blow it changing the relationship from that of "together we stand" to "all alone". Or maybe, like myself, does something that paints a target on his forehead that my wife wasn't able to forgive.... Which really changes how she interprets everything I say as some sort of attack; I learned not to feed her mind with any more intimate knowledge of me to use to hurt me. The result was shallow and superficial conversations; everything else is a debate or information sharing. No deep conversations at all, no sharing of passions or struggles... I have others for that.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

You've only been together for a year and have a 2 month old and had a m/c before that? You must have gotten pregnant before you barely even knew him, and you are perhaps not a long-term match. When did you get engaged?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

You're together a bit over a year, let's say 14 months. Your son is 2 months old, which means you got pregnant for the second time 5 months after you met.

It's impossible to get pregnant immediately following miscarriage, figure at least 2 months in between which means you had a miscarriage perhaps 3 months after you met. 

Which means that you got pregnant within about a month or so of first meeting him, is that about right?

You don't even start to really know a person for at least 6-8 months after meeting them. 

My advice, although a bit late.. is not to get pregnant within a few months of meeting someone.


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