# How do I deal with it



## brocklyt (Aug 9, 2009)

Our marriage has seen alot of trials and tribulations i admit i have not been the most responsive husband in the world. Generally we fight and make up we are that type of couple recently we have had some new members in our family move into our house stemming from her abusive marriage i was more than happy to invite them into a better situation which was our ultimate demise i'm not gonna lie i am not the best with stress so i just made myself my own prisoner all i did was work and then too my room which was hurting my wife i couldn't handle more family so i decided to talk to my wife about splitting up which i should have never brought those words up i just dont know how to say the most effective way of whats on my mind. that next day while i was at work (her birthday) she and a friend went over to some guys house i tried calling no answer she just told me she would be home in the morning she got home and told me it was over and she had sex with another guy i was crushed to say the least i still begged her to stay because i still think its my fault because of how i was acting through the years of not paying as much attention to her as i should. well on tuesday we partially made up and wednesday she goes back over the guys house and just kisses him she says which i was more forgiving about and then last night after i got off of work she and her sister went out and i was going to catch up with them a little later when i got there she was already drunk and told me she doesnt love me and if that guy was here she would be all over him we talked ouside for about 5 minutes or actually she griped for about 5 i give her, her space and went to another bar knowingly she would end up there when she seen me it angered her to say the least and she went home with a random guy she finally came home around noon and said its over after a hour of begging and pleaded she said she would think about it. thats where im at i love her with everything i am its been a rough 6 years but i want this to work


-HOPE-


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## JAE (Jul 17, 2009)

I'm sorry but it sounds like the 2 of you might be done with. Try to stick it out if you love her. I don't know how much help I can provide, but you have to give it your all. It has been a month since I found out, I have tried to be here for her but she continues to talk to that piece of s***. We are probably done with, but I can say that I have tried. An entire month of knowing that my wife has these feelings for another guy and sitting through it until she decides. Pretty f***** up. I say last as long as you can, then at least you know you tried. Not much help, sorry.


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## brocklyt (Aug 9, 2009)

well update its over she told me about 5 minutes ago what now


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Brock. If its over, its over. But I would tell her (when she is sober), that "breaking up is one thing. But doing two different guys in one week, says nothing about me. But speaks volumes about you". You wanted to break up anyways. First off, shut her off of all joint bank accounts. She needs a taste of the tough part of being single. This may even make her want to reconcile. If you are even considering that. Then have as little contact as possible with her. She is a serial cheater now, and wants to end your marriage (she thinks). Try the financial end of it first. Do not leave the house. By pulling away, you create an emotional vacuum with her. This may pull her back in, so you can work on the marriage (if you want).

Another thing you can tell her is "You have obviously lost respect for me. But you could at least respect your marriage and yourself as long as you are in it. You will regret sleeping around one day".


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## foolz1 (Sep 5, 2009)

Just my opinion and a little experience, but someone may say something while intoxicated or in the throes of passion, then later think about what they have said or done and have a completely different outlook on the situation. 

If you really care and are committed to this relationship, you may want to give it a bit of time to run it's course. You cannot control anyone, but you can be patient and wait it out.

Best of Luck to You!


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