# Roller Coaster



## MisterRitter (Sep 1, 2012)

Today started off as a decent day. I have recently quit drinking (sometimes a lot and sometimes not a lot but always there) and I felt almost happy on my commute this morning. As I drove, though, and for a better part of the day I thought about my wife, some of the things she said, and that night she didn't come home.

I managed to get some work done and spent a lot of time reading on here and posting some too. As I left for my car I had a lot of trouble not bursting into tears. And I did a bit as I drove home.

And I considered something on my way home that is so out of character for me and something I never thought I would seriously consider. I was thinking about how I would have felt if I had beat the crap out of her that night and how I would feel about myself now if I had. I would never do something like that but, I am not sure I would feel bad right now if I had. 

I know this isn't healthy and I am working on it, but I see this creeping out of me even though I don't want to acknowledge it: that I want to hurt her the way she hurt me.

Good things she is literally half a world away .

I have a lot of issues to work on, but for now, its time to give the heavy bag a workout.

Sorry just venting, feels a bit better now.
Hope everyone else had a better day than me.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

I understand the anger, it's normal. There is no justice in these situations, I've decided that I just have to let her go and build a new life. Consider the women we were married to as dead, they really are in a sense, and find a better one.


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## how was your day? (Oct 10, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> I understand the anger, it's normal. There is no justice in these situations, I've decided that I just have to let her go and build a new life. Consider the women we were married to as dead, they really are in a sense, and find a better one.


im in the same boat as you


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