# Sex situation - sex but nothing for her. Weird.



## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

*Sex situation - Wife doesnt enjoy but still does it...*

My wife and I do have sex now. Not as often as I'd like but hey.

Only problem is she doesnt get anything out of it at all, if you know what I mean. She says I still need to lose weight because its not happening for her but she does it because she loves me. She says sex with me is nice in a loving kind of way but thats it.

OK. Fair enough I aint lost much weight. But any comments on this because its kinda weird for me.

Is this the sign of a loving wife who is making sacrifices for me? But just doesnt fancy me until I lose weight?

I do wonder how she copes without. But her sex drive was always very low since we met so I dont think she cares that much. Hmmm

Anyone?


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

Hi Sage,

thanks for the input. We've been together 20 years now (married for 14).

Relationship has had its ups and downs but at the moment probably the best its been for the last year or so. So not sure if its that.

Wife has been nagging me about my weight for a while to be honest so I cant say she hasnt told me. I understand where shes coming from to be honest.

Like someone said, you can love someone but not fancy them. Seems fair.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

From another thread...


psychocandy said:


> Hmmm. I see where Jeffreys coming from here a bit.
> 
> Like I said, I'm the large person in the relationship. Some people on the forum will probably remember that for years the lot of you have been advising me to lose weight. I have some but not enough.
> 
> ...


What is holding you back from losing more weight? I am amazed that the lure of more sex has not motivated you in the past. Before you could have said lack of sex was making you depressed. Now that your wife is trying her best, you say she is weird for doing it, but not liking it. Is it not you who is weird for not doing the one thing that is in your power? 

I have a low metabolic weight, and I like nice food. So I have no choice. I *have *to exercise and watch the portions. In fact, I do not really worry about the portions all that much. For me exercise is the magic bullet; the more I do, the better I look.

Cycling was a good fat buster. When I combined that with weights - just 10 mins a day of barbells - I really started to move towards lean. Not actually lean but getting there. It's a great feeling when you're 43 and you walk down the road and you look better than most of the other men your age and younger.

I do massage. I massaged a movie-star the other day (well he looked like one anyway). The minute he left I did a long workout. I just wanted to look like him, and I knew all it needed was a few more crunches...

Same thing happens when I get a really fat client. It makes me feel so glad to be slimmer, I hit the weights to "drive home my advantage".

If you don't do something you will dies young. Obese men tend to have trouble getting it up as they get older, so sex will get more and more difficult. Your wife will be pulling her hair out - or breathing a sigh of relief...

All you need to do is:

Eat healthy food.
Exercise.

That's it. There is no mystery beyond that. No burgers no chips no doughnuts and plenty of exercise.

In fact you can have junk food once a week if you are strict about it.


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## marga88 (Jun 17, 2010)

> What is holding you back from losing more weight? I am amazed that the lure of more sex has not motivated you in the past. Before you could have said lack of sex was making you depressed. Now that your wife is trying her best, you say she is weird for doing it, but not liking it. Is it not you who is weird for not doing the one thing that is in your power?
> 
> I have a low metabolic weight, and I like nice food. So I have no choice. I have to exercise and watch the portions. In fact, I do not really worry about the portions all that much. For me exercise is the magic bullet; the more I do, the better I look.


:smthumbup: :iagree: A loving wife would always sacrifice for the happiness of her husband, Is it fair if you think she is weird by doing that?


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

This is not about weight, this is about sex. It only seems weird to you, there is nothing unusual or weird here at all. She doesn't want to like having sex for whatever her reason is, probably shame about her feelings and fear that if she liked it, she will be inclined to feel good about it in general and want it or want to have it more.


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## psychocandy (Apr 28, 2008)

marga88 said:


> :smthumbup: :iagree: A loving wife would always sacrifice for the happiness of her husband, Is it fair if you think she is weird by doing that?


Yeh. I guess you're right. It is nice of her to think like that.


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