# Pretty sure wife is on her second Emotional Affair this year



## Bob99 (Jun 6, 2013)

She told me about the last one last summer just after he tried to get physical. She stopped and felt guilty and told me the details. We spent a lot of time working through issues and she was ready to leave multiple times but it looked like things were getting back on track (we've been married for 18 years). Last month she started getting distant and barely communicating. I saw on her laptop that she had chatted with an old boyfriend (was never serious back then 20+ years ago) and deleted the chat. Started to get suspicious so this morning I checked our cell phone records and found a few messages to numbers I didn't recognize to an area code she used to live in back then. Called the first number and it was my daughter-in law (relief) and then called the second number and it was his voicemail. There were calls of 47, 70, 18,12,11,67 and 21 minutes to his number (incoming and outgoing). Feeling a wreck right now. I know there are facebook messages that are going on. I feel that I need to put together more info before I confront her with this. Really sick of this crap


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

First calm down. Stay in control. If you're mad or in a rage go away somewhere until it passes. When you eventually calm down ask yourself: is she worth making you feel the way you do now?


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## Bob99 (Jun 6, 2013)

Calmly gathering information. We have 3 kids still at home, she has 4 kids from a previous marriage that I adopted. The older kids have all married and moved out of the house. I have fought the keep this marriage and family intact but it's becoming more clear to me that it was a one-sided fight. I won't end it myself but I'm done fighting for it. If she wants to salvage this, she will need to do all the heavy lifting.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I am so sorry. Please read the newbie link in my signature. There's a lot of good info in there, including info about The 180, which you should implement. You also may want to consider asking a mod to move this to the Coping with Infidelity section.

When you say you're gathering info, do you mean on her or about cheating?


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