# Resentment & Lack of Respect on Both Sides



## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

How does a marriage get over years of resentment? How do we begin to respect eachother again?

If we could begin with those two things, I think we could start trusting eachother.


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

Get over resentment one day at a time and the same with respecting each other. Those are two huge issues, but they are workable if you are both committed to overcoming them together.


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## OneMarriedGuy (Apr 5, 2010)

Truly a large but very doable task if both partners are interested in making things better. I'm going to throw in communication into the mix as well.

It's kinda like reading for school. If you are a good reader and comprehend-er, all subjects, even math  are just so much easier than if you are not too good with reading and comprehension.

Communication is that core subject in a relationship. It is very hard to work on the others until this one is at least working half way decent.


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## ResentMe (Apr 30, 2010)

You don't "get over" resentment, you "let go" of it. Respect is developed with patterns of behavior that elicit a natural sense of admiration for those actions. Resentment is a barrier to realizations of respect.


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## seahorse (Apr 10, 2010)

Resentment is easier to let go after you realize it takes two people to have an argument, and two people to resolve it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You also discuss it, so that all views of the problem are aired, looked at, discussed, and agreed upon.


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## lisakifttherapy (Jul 31, 2007)

First of all, if you have "years of resentmen" built up - I suggest you get some counseling together. Couples who come in to see me with this level of toxicity built up between them rarely have the ability to effectively communicate about their issues. 

It sounds like you two need to clear the slate and get down to the process (emotions, wounds,) over the content (the details of things you've both done). 

If you still have love for each other - you can do it. But again, I'd find a good couples therapist in your area to assist.


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