# In Need of Some Advice



## blondie7 (Sep 19, 2011)

Hello everyone,

I am 20 years old and in college and am extremely happy right now. BUT there is a huge problem. My parents absolutely despise my boyfriend and have never met him. When my boyfriend was 16 years old he had a very bad car accident that killed one of his buddies on his high school lacrosse team. If you have ever seen the movie "The Fifth Quarter" that is the story of my boyfriend's accident. 

We did not live in the state at the time when it happened and my mom found out by researching him online. She always researches the guys that I like online and looks on their facebook profiles etc. He never tried to run away from what he did like some of the newspapers said. He wrote the family several letters of apology, even from juvie and he tried several more times to contact them. His parents protected him from a lot of the media and never told him that they tried to contact him which he was very upset about. 

My boyfriend is now 22 and is one of the most excellent people I know. He treats me wonderful and is very respectful as his parents raised him to be. His father died when he was a sophomore in college and the family of the boy that he killed sued for his father's life insurance money so he had to drop out and come home. He loves his mother and sister very much and does all that he can to make them happy. He always goes over every Sunday to have dinner with his mother now that his sister is off to college. He has a steady job and is quickly moving up into management as well as taking online courses at one of the state universities to complete his college career. 

The community that the accident happened in forgave him for his mistakes and his widely respected and many people have a high opinion of him despite the accident. Our friends and their parents absolutely love him and are upset to see my parents being very judgmental. I love my parents so much and I know that they are very wise but I do know that we are also a very close minded family. My mom does not want him in our family because of his checkered past just from that one accident because she is afraid people will dislike our family because of it. She is afraid that if I made him angry he'd get me in a car and crash it. He is the best driver out of my group of friends and is the safest having learned from his accident. 

My family is also conservative and he is a liberal which makes my mother very angry. She also does not appreciate the fact that he is two inches shorter than me. She told me that he does not look like he belongs in our family because we are so tall and good looking. I am upset because I feel that I should be able to make my own decision and I feel like they should meet him so that they can at least get to know him. He is very well spoken and respectful and I know that they would like him if they met him but they refuse to. 

Also my mother says that I'm 'latching' on to him because I've never had a serious boyfriend and I'm desperate for one which honestly is not true. She always says that about the boys that she does not find handsome or smart enough. She also told me that of course I would believe him about his story on the accident because I like him. I have done research and many other people have affirmed his character. I do not condone what he did, he made a careless mistake and was being irresponsible despite his friends asking him to take it a little slower. 

I know my parents will kick me out of the house if I choose to be with him unfortunately and I don't understand. Many people love him and he is not solely remembered for that accident. 

I was just feeling a little beneath the weather about this and wanted to know what you all thought!


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## lady1 (Jan 31, 2012)

I am not sure how you can get your parents to change their mind about him if they won't even met him. Have they liked boyfriends of yours in the past? Are they actually giving you an ultimatum (dump him or move out)? (When will parents learn, that just pushes us deeper into the arms of men). Well, I think your parents are wrong to not at least meet him. Judging him based on one past mistake from when he we still a teenager doesn't sound fair. But they might not like him even if they did meet him. 

I think that if you think this is the guy for you, it doesn't really matter what other people think. My parents hated by boyfriend, and I ended up marrying him - and we have vastly different political/religious/life views. But keep in mind that it is much harder to be in a relationship with someone if you parents hate them - especially if you are still living at home.


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