# Lack of privacy with mum and her bf



## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

OK, here goes - bit embarrassing this.

Hubby and I live with my mum (who is divorced). Not long ago mum's bf moved in. It's a small house (two bedrooms - next to each other).

Well, there's not much insulation between the two rooms - and, yes - not much privacy. It's also made me realise how much mum (and now her bf) can hear when hubby and I get intimate.

Hubby and I like sex a lot - at least once most days.

I'm not sure whether it's something I should worry about, or not?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Maybe it's time to move out?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So she's had to listen to you and hubby rattle the headboard daily for the last few months (or however long you've been living there) and not complained. You could try keeping the noise down on your side. But considering it's her house, seems it would be pretty inconsiderate to complain about her getting her fun now.

C


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

well... everyone is different, but I couldn't handle that. My husband's parents live in an apartment and when we spend the night there on holidays and such, the bedroom where we sleep is right next to theirs. Nothing has EVER happened on those nights!! Just too weird I guess. But if everyone is okay with it... then I guess no harm done?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

mablenc said:


> Maybe it's time to move out?


Ding ding ding

I can't imagine sexing up all the time next to my parents' bedroom.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

mablenc said:


> Maybe it's time to move out?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I wish we could. We're saving for our own house but can't afford to move just yet.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

omega said:


> well... everyone is different, but I couldn't handle that. My husband's parents live in an apartment and when we spend the night there on holidays and such, the bedroom where we sleep is right next to theirs. Nothing has EVER happened on those nights!! Just too weird I guess. But if everyone is okay with it... then I guess no harm done?


Abstinence works for occassional visits but not when you live together. We don't have a lot of choice really - and mums never really made an issue of it with us.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Shazz1991 said:


> I wish we could. We're saving for our own house but can't afford to move just yet.


Would it move up the time frame if you just saved for a deposit on an apartment instead of buying a house? Assuming you are paying rent where you are anyway, it wouldn't make a huge difference and you could still keep a goal of buying a house for the future. 

I can't imagine your Mom and her BF wants to keep their sex life um... guest friendly... for very long. I for one am quite excited about the kind of sex I could have with no children in the house :smthumbup: A new relationship would be even more likely to want some more privacy IMO.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I can't imagine your Mom and her BF wants to keep their sex life um... guest friendly... for very long. I for one am quite excited about the kind of sex I could have with no children in the house


:smthumbup::iagree:


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

What's worse your mom hearing you or you hearing your mom? I would get a 2nd or 3rd job to not have to deal with that.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Would it move up the time frame if you just saved for a deposit on an apartment instead of buying a house? Assuming you are paying rent where you are anyway, it wouldn't make a huge difference and you could still keep a goal of buying a house for the future.
> 
> I can't imagine your Mom and her BF wants to keep their sex life um... guest friendly... for very long. I for one am quite excited about the kind of sex I could have with no children in the house :smthumbup: A new relationship would be even more likely to want some more privacy IMO.


Our presence doesn't seem to be holding them back!


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Shazz1991 said:


> Our presence doesn't seem to be holding them back!


Unless they are going at it on the kitchen table at any time of the day, they are likely holding back. Bedroom with door closed is what I mean about being guest friendly


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

richie33 said:


> What's worse your mom hearing you or you hearing your mom? I would get a 2nd or 3rd job to not have to deal with that.


I suppose I always really knew that mum could hear us - just not quite so much. Hubby says I shouldn't worry myself about it. Mums had occassional bfs home in the past. I suppose I find it quite strange that I find myself reacting to it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

richie33 said:


> What's worse your mom hearing you or you hearing your mom? I would get a 2nd or 3rd job to not have to deal with that.


 Yep!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

My STBW and I visit my parents every few weekends and have a similar setup. The first time we stayed there, she made it clear that we wouldn't be doing anything because she'd never felt comfortable doing it in a house when the parents are there. I had actually never had sex in my parents house before, so it wasn't a big deal. Well, by the next time we visited, her mindset had changed, and now we don't worry about it at all. Just try to keep the headboard from slamming too hard


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> My STBW and I visit my parents every few weekends and have a similar setup. The first time we stayed there, she made it clear that we wouldn't be doing anything because she'd never felt comfortable doing it in a house when the parents are there. I had actually never had sex in my parents house before, so it wasn't a big deal. Well, by the next time we visited, her mindset had changed, and now we don't worry about it at all. Just try to keep the headboard from slamming too hard


Do you worry about them hearing you? And do you hear them?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Shazz1991 said:


> Do you worry about them hearing you? And do you hear them?


Not really. We're aware and try and be polite, but don't really worry about it. We don't really hear them probably because we are busy ourselves


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## Malky1954 (Jul 11, 2011)

Does them hearing you and you hearing them turn you on or off?


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

Malky1954 said:


> Does them hearing you and you hearing them turn you on or off?


To be honest I find myself listening and trying to work exactly what they are doing - especially if I am in bed alone waiting for hubby to come home (he works late). Is that weird?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Malky1954 said:


> Does them hearing you and you hearing them turn you on or off?


For me, neither really. Not sure I'd actually want an audience, but it doesn't bother me if people know when my STBW and I are having sex. My STBW on the other hand has a very slight voyeuristic streak in her in that it kind of excites her to know that other people know. She doesn't want to be on display, but if for example, we were sharing a hotel room with another couple, as long as the lights were off, she'd have no problems going at it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

samyeagar said:


> For me, neither really. Not sure I'd actually want an audience, but it doesn't bother me if people know when my STBW and I are having sex. My STBW on the other hand has a very slight voyeuristic streak in her in that it kind of excites her to know that other people know. She doesn't want to be on display, but if for example, we were sharing a hotel room with another couple, as long as the lights were off, she'd have no problems going at it.


Even if you were sharing a room with your mother or her mother?

Listening and trying to "figure out what they're doing" seems to be a bit over the "weird" line to me... And this is coming from someone who's had sex on a table with 4 other strangers whilst in a sex club with his partner... Family and sex don't mix. 

Then again, I'm not from Arkansas...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Shazz1991 said:


> I wish we could. We're saving for our own house but can't afford to move just yet.


There are affordable ways to sound proof a room, you can even get sound proof quilts you can hang over the walls. Or put some music.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> For me, neither really. Not sure I'd actually want an audience, but it doesn't bother me if people know when my STBW and I are having sex. My STBW on the other hand has a very slight voyeuristic streak in her in that it kind of excites her to know that other people know. She doesn't want to be on display, but if for example, we were sharing a hotel room with another couple, as long as the lights were off, she'd have no problems going at it.


Think I must have a voyeur/exhibitionist streak too!


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Shazz1991 said:


> Hubby and I like sex a lot - at least once most days.
> 
> I'm not sure whether it's something I should worry about, or not?


Maybe try turning on the television or the fan, or something else to make noise to drown out the sounds while you have sex?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I would be freaked out if my parents knew I was having sex next to them. That would kill my libido completely, definitely not turn me on!


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