# Help with Mens Wardrobe?



## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Ladies, I apologize for invading your lounge but I need help. Im 44 years old, I was about 60lbs overweight (already lost 24 thanks to what Ive been through this last two weeks), and never really had much care about fashion or trends. I live and grew up in a rural (country small town) in the South U.S. It has always been blue Jeans and pull over shirts with 1980's white tennis shoes, or jean shorts and Crocs, etc.... My work wardrobe has been Khaki pants, dress shirt. I want to make a change, but not be so extreme it appears that I have gone Metro. What are some current things clothing wise I should do? First I want to do this for me so I dont look like a 44 year old trying to look 24. The added bonus will be my stbxw get the picture that I have made changes and confident to move on without her making the proper changes. Any help please. Here is your chance and you ladies are the experts. Guys, if it has worked for you, chime in.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Mid fifties here and work in a casual office. Summer garb for me is often a comfy silk or cotton camp shirt or Hawaiian pattern (Subtle), pleated and cuffed poly blend slacks and huarache style shoes. No Socks!!!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Post Script: Camp shirt cannot resemble anything that Charlie Sheen would wear on on 2 and a half. Douche!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Hi Hunter,

My husband is also 44 and grew up in Europe & I love the way he dresses & I think it fits his age but still always looks sharp and in style. Jeans are always good but the style/color can make the difference between looking in style or out of date. I prefer darker denim but a faded pair of levis & t-shirt still looks good to me!

Here's a few things I like:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Good for you, Hunter! Congrats on your continued weight loss!

As a female, I think jeans and khakis (or dockers) are fine -- you could work on your shirts. For summer, get some short sleeved shirts in cool fabrics (cotton only!). I'd also ditch the tennis shoes and white socks, get some rockports or something like that that's comfy but a bit more grown up looking. Or Timberlands, or boat shoes (topsiders, but with those, no socks ever...as Amp said.)

For weekends, I'd do cargo shorts and can you handle sandals? Some men can, some men cannot, but a good pair of leather sandals on a man can look very sexy and confident (but no socks with sandals EVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER.)

Also, honey...Crocs? No. Not unless you are camping and need to go take a shower. 

Also, on your pullover shirts, be careful -- a nice solid color polo looks good on almost anyone, but if you get the ones with stripes, especially if you are at all overweight, you can look like you are eleven years old. (Again, just my opinion as a female, I'm sure others may differ.)

Good luck! And always, a good haircut never hurts. Sounds like you are making wonderful changes, keep it up!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

lamaga said:


> Also, honey...Crocs? No. Not unless you are camping and need to go take a shower.


:iagree: I had a vision of Mario Batali when I read that, and it wasn't good! I've just never been a fan of the crocs for anyone, anywhere, anytime


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

So far, we all agree that you should avoid this look:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

LOL, Swedish. If there's one thing worse than Crocs, it's Crocs with Socks!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Here are some casual shoe choices that I like (Apparently, I like leather shoes on men!):

































And I agree with the others on the NO SOCKS with the last 2 pairs!!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I like this casual look too...and works for all ages:


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

swedish said:


> I like this casual look too...and works for all ages:
> 
> View attachment 1056


Yes! My all time favorite casual look on a guy. My husband rocks this look. The t-shirt and jeans combo is a classic look.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Coffee Amore said:


> Yes! My all time favorite casual look on a guy. My husband rocks this look. The t-shirt and jeans combo is a classic look.


Mine does too....he has the same bod so when I posted this pic I started wishing he was home from work


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

In all fairness to Hunter, though, this look doesn't work on guy with a little tummy, so let's give him some other options for the time being.

Just curious, Hunter, you still around?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Nice, clean, tailored clothes are the way to go. Get things that FIT you, not too big, not too tight.

A nice pair of jeans = winning.
Get some basics: nice t-shirts, a nice dress shirt, good shoes. Do something different with your hair.
Get a new wallet.

When you look good, you feel good.

And don't forget to smile.

I love a man that can dress well and for his body. It's such a turn-on. And it doesn't even take a lot. You just need to know what works best for you and stick to the basics/classics.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

lamaga said:


> In all fairness to Hunter, though, this look doesn't work on guy with a little tummy, so let's give him some other options for the time being.
> 
> Just curious, Hunter, you still around?


Actually, the picture of Mario Vitali...lose the crocs, socks, vest and murse and I think the shirt and shorts would look good. 

I think button down collared shirts look good on all body types...solid/stripes/checkered depending on individual taste...I am tame with color but my h is not afraid to wear bright colors and he looks good in them! Main thing is the fit and I think in most model pics the fit is 'slim' but even a t-shirt with an unbuttoned collared shirt over it looks good w/a nice pair of jeans


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)




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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

hunter411 - You do realize that if they had a picture of you they would being making a paperdoll out of you and dressing you up right now, right??  

Seriously though, I completely agree with everything posted so far. 

AND... please post evidence that you have destroyed your crocs, because crocs are not shoes to be worn unless you are a gnome.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

StatusQuo said:


> hunter411 - You do realize that if they had a picture of you they would being making a paperdoll out of you and dressing you up right now, right??


Who? Us?

Hunter


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Indeed!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Hunter, where are you? We mean you well, I promise!


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Yes absolutely. I got a good laugh at some of the posts which I havent done in a couple weeks so thank you... Any help would be appreciated. I am very comfortable in khaki shorts. I just need to invest in some new shoes and shirts I guess. The problem, like you said, is Im still about 40 lbs overweight but Im just a big framed guy to begin with (football player type). Some things just look really stupid on me. Im still confused but trying and listening so please dont give up on my fashion ignorance.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I cannot stress enough (along with the others) no crocks don't wear socks with flip flops (although I would stay away from those too). 

Flat front dress pants. I will say it again. Flat front pant only. 

Dark wash straight leg jeans. Levi's look best. 

Button up shirts in normal colors. Stay away from certain stripes they tend to look like pajamas. 

Not every guy can pull off a square toe casual shoe. Not every guy can pull off a pointed toe casual or dress shoe. 

I think gym shoes are ok. My husband has a pair of Adidas. There are casual. Don't do shiny pants with a shiny shirt with a shiny tie. (by "shiny" I mean with a "sheen")

Screen tees are ok. But stay out of the "boys" dept. it should be a subtle design and one color. Stay away from logos. 

Get a great watch. 

Get a few great belts. 

Someone else said it...get a grown up wallet. No Velcro. Black or brown are the only acceptable colors. 

I think skinny ties ate for younger guys. But don't get a wide or long one...unless you are Donald trump and must instill fear in the underlings. 

A velvet jacket. 

A few nice black jackets, like paired with a white button down and dark jeans. 

Match prints and patterns to your size. If you are 6 feet with broad shoulders, go for larger patterns. Not little skinny stripes on shirts. 

Browns black tan are neutral colors. They generally go with anything. If your dress pants have a pin stripe don't match your shirt with it. 

Buy pick out the most subtle color and find a tie to match. Don't be afraid of saturated color in ties, meaning wow that tie is purple, or that is a yellow. 

Make sure the shirts fit great. If the pants are a little long (the hem of your pants should just cover the top of the shoe) take them to the cleaners. For about 5 bucks they can hem up or drop a hem. 

They can also Taylor jackets. If the cuff it long or you found a great shirt in a great color, but maybe in the shoulders it's a little big, easy fix. 

Buy clothes for the size you are and not the size you think you are. 

Now here is the part men hate and this is the hard part.....you have to go into the store, and not just one, and use the dressing room. 

You also have to try on shoes. Find the right style for you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Look for a good tailor and stick with him.
BUY a Tux and have an occasional need to wear it.
Consider having shirts made or at least tailored.
Ties are silk belts are leather.
Shoes are black or buck.
Suede shoes are for weekends.
Shawl lapels are retarded unless you're James Bond or a pimp.
No pleats no box fronts.
No useful jacket is linen.
No cords.
No logos no slogans no screen prints. Grow the hell up.
No baseball caps.
No backwards hats of any kind. 
Cotton, cotton poly blend, or oxford weave shirts.
Suits are wool or wool cotton blend*
No black suits
No white suits
No Steve Harvey suits






*Shatnez....if you have to ask, don't worry about it.


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Oh my god, thats why women are so good a this. I think I have a good idea now, but wow, I have so much to learn. I already threw out my comfortable crocs. Im listeneing. Thank you so much for the tips. You have no idea what it means to me.....


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Holy crap, I read all the post's and I almost got a nosebleed I was laughing so hard. It felt good to get a good laugh for a change. The paperdoll thing did me in. I truly mean thank you for the advice. So do you really have to put the clothes on in the dressing room?:smthumbup:


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

hunter411 said:


> Holy crap, I read all the post's and I almost got a nosebleed I was laughing so hard. It felt good to get a good laugh for a change. The paperdoll thing did me in. I truly mean thank you for the advice. So do you really have to put the clothes on in the dressing room?:smthumbup:


Yes, our dear paper doll, you MUST try the clothes on!

So proud of you for tossing the crocs! YAY!

Now, if you need a quick confidence boost, try getting a different hairstyle (assuming you have enough for a new style, hard to style a shaved/bald head).

Stop stressing about that 40lbs, if your're working in losing it great, in the meantime don't focus on it. try stuff on, if it fits great, if not, move on to the next thing. don't setttle, only buy it if it fits well, looks good, or can be tailored.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

hunter411 said:


> Holy crap, I read all the post's and I almost got a nosebleed I was laughing so hard. It felt good to get a good laugh for a change. The paperdoll thing did me in. I truly mean thank you for the advice. So do you really have to put the clothes on in the dressing room?:smthumbup:


Hunter,

Thought you might like another middle aged guy's perspective, too, because its not easy finding clothes that aren't made for a twenty-something out there.

Once you are comfortable that you know your size in different styles, I think it becomes almost necessary to pick a few online stores with good return policies. I live in a midsize city, but everybody just wears identical clothes, and for a southern guy in a midwest city, they look like they came out of the 1950's to me.

In my forties, I want shoes that are comfortable as well as nice. Can't get that without spending a little money. Enlist in Zappos VIP program, and wait in line to get approved (I found that if you return a pair of shoes, but talk to customer service, and be NICE, they'll offer VIP service). With this, you get your shoes next day. Returns are free and next day too.

Pants- its hard to get a variety locally. For me, I use a variety of stores. If I wear jeans, Target or Walmart usually have plain jeans. Local stores might have Wrangler's Angler or JRiggs that look like work pants, but online you can find them in casual styles. These are jeans that look good, cost a couple of dollars more than walmart wear, but will look new until the cows come home. Mostly, I wear casual pants when going out, but flat front. Also, my wife LOVES the carhartt washed Twill dungaree in khaki - she can't keep her hands off my legs.

I'm more comfortable in a button down shirt. Frankly, though, I'm big framed, but low body fat, so I often just throw on a light gray t-shirt, not tight, and not tucked. This year, our local superstore had a great buy on Izod cargo shorts, too.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> Yes, our dear paper doll, you MUST try the clothes on!
> 
> So proud of you for tossing the crocs! YAY!
> 
> ...


I forgot something.... This is the easiest one, and I can't believe I forgot it!!! Smile, whether you want to or not, it's sexy, it exudes confidence, it feels good, and it's free!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Several have mentioned it, but no one has said why- flat funny pants vs pleated...

do pleats make you look fat? Personally, flat fronts seem a little to, um, revealing to me... Crotch bulge?


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> I forgot something.... This is the easiest one, and I can't believe I forgot it!!! Smile, whether you want to or not, it's sexy, it exudes confidence, it feels good, and it's free!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I spend lots of time grubbing in the dirt, working in the yard, etc, and a good portion of my wardrobe are clothing fur that purpose.... Not sexy, imo.

I have been loosing weight, working out, and working on my "presence" around others. I'm very confident, but usually lost in my own world. I have been making myself stand and walk straight, and look people in the eyes as I walk around, and especially when i talk to them, and it it's amazing the difference I see in how people react. Confidence is more key than clothing.

Friday I took some critters to my sons classroom as they were having a pet day at school. Since I was dealing Animals, I had on the absolute grungiest clothes, and a very worn carhart coat. I mean, I've seen homeless people dressed better. Since this is an area of expertise for me, I am very confident and was having fun, despite looking like I was drug in off the street.

surprise to me, when I had a cute teacher at the school, and one very hot mom flirting with me as we were all hanging out in the classroom that morning. Both are ladies that I would never pursue based on looks, because I would have considered them out of my league 6 months ago.

Wearing confidence shows just as much as great clothing.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

swedish said:


> So far, we all agree that you should avoid this look:
> 
> View attachment 1051


OMFG :rofl::rofl:
I just spat wine everywhere! the orange! why the orange!


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Thanks everyone, I feel like an idiot in these matters. @Halien, thanks, that is more my type style and I will start ordering some things tomorrow and actually go inside some of those stores I have just been walking by for the last 20 years.


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> OMFG :rofl::rofl:
> I just spat wine everywhere! the orange! why the orange!


At least mine were green, but they are gone. I had a short funeral service for them two days ago.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

humanbecoming said:


> Several have mentioned it, but no one has said why- flat funny pants vs pleated...
> 
> do pleats make you look fat? Personally, flat fronts seem a little to, um, revealing to me... Crotch bulge?


Many guys I know have the typical middle aged belly - pleated pants just don't go with that at all. For me, I just don't like them, but maybe part of that is because my wife is pretty fashion conscious. Like you, I'd rather pants be comfortable, and durable enough to wear when I'm doing chores. Don't know if they design the typical pants sold at Walmart or Target for guys with no butt, even the relaxed ones, but I can't wear them for the reasons you mentioned. The casual line of some of the brands I mentioned are comfortable. The ones below are really soft, yet durable (carhartt twill). I'll wear something like that if we are going out for a simple dinner, then the park.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Hunter -- re the dressing room thing. As Halien explained, once you get a bit more familiar with brands/sizes, you may not have to try everything on.

Now -- depending on how much time you are willing to spend, there is an option. If you simply HATE using dressing rooms, as I do, just go ahead and buy what you like. Go home and try things on at home (leaving on the tags!), and then return the ones that do not flatter you. It often means an extra trip if you picked some duds, but I find it's worth it when I simply cannot face those fluorescent lights and three way mirrors one more time


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Halien said:


> Many guys I know have the typical middle aged belly - pleated pants just don't go with that at all. For me, I just don't like them, but maybe part of that is because my wife is pretty fashion conscious. Like you, I'd rather pants be comfortable, and durable enough to wear when I'm doing chores. Don't know if they design the typical pants sold at Walmart or Target for guys with no butt, even the relaxed ones, but I can't wear them for the reasons you mentioned. The casual line of some of the brands I mentioned are comfortable. The ones below are really soft, yet durable (carhartt twill). I'll wear something like that if we are going out for a simple dinner, then the park.


Yeah, I love carhart! I also wear lots of slacks, but I always go with pleated. I don't have a belly, and don't plan on it. It drives me crazy that mens shirts are cut to fit a keg rather than a 6 pack! I get slim fit whenever possible because I don't like looking like a tent! 
On the pants, well I have been gifted with the opposite of a flat butt, so no worries there


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

ok...go to macy's...pick out 3 pair of pants...one without pleats, one with 2 pleats, and one with 4 pleats...

stand close to the mirror. the more pleats, there is a noticable "bump". flat front looks wayyyyy hotter, and grown up.

a mirror is a must when dressing...full length. 

men, leave the pleats in the 80's. please. just look at the difference.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I forgot to add. Tom Ford is an idiot with bad taste and is probably handicapped with a pair if scissors. Living proof that if you do something poorly enough some moron will call it a dynamic new art form.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In America, people wear camo....to be noticed. Which is so painfully stupid, it's precious.


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## singnangel_0 (Jun 15, 2012)

When it comes to feeling successful losing all that weight, why not go for a new wardrobe which shows off your confidence! 

Clothing is all about attitude. If you are a humorous, free-spirited middle aged man no matter what others may think you could pull off a Grinch tie around Christmas or a bold striped polo. 

But one thing, try not to flag anyone down with construction orange or neon colors, do not wear mid-calf socks etc. Use looks that are casual, comfortable with a little bit of you. If you're not a humorous, free-spirited man try solid colors with a little of "you" in the style.


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## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Im taking all of this into consideration, listening and making notes. Now the only problem is I have to slow down on the weight loss. 31 lbs in 2 1/2 weeks isnt healthy. Im afraid to buy clothes now because I dont know if they will fit in a month. Im now on a sensible diet and excercising. Maybe Ill wait a little while longer, Im in no rush to play the field yet thats for sure.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yay, Hunter, glad you checked in! And you are right, that kind of rapid weight loss is NOT healthy, so slow it down and relax.

You clearly have a charming personality, and that's ultimately worth more than the right clothes, anyway.


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