# Addictive personalities and the effects on relationships



## the wife1962 (Mar 9, 2016)

Obsessiveness?
Personality disorders?
Past relationship histories?
Compulsiveness?
Neediness?
People Pleasers?

I know that these things do have an effect on relationships. 
People tend to behave in ways that keep them in their comfort zones. 
They have no idea the CAN change-even if it is to improve life for the better.
Bad behaviors that have turned into repeated bad habits. 
Inability to step back and look at the negative behaviors that had contributed to past failed marriages/relationships.

We each come into a relationship with our own experiences and ideas on how to proceed. 
What do we want from a relationship?
Can we communicate our wants and needs?
Can we just plain communicate?

I don't have any links to back up my experience...just have my experience. 
My 2nd marriage is far better than my first. It really has not much bearing on this new life. Other than the fact that that marriage existed for 23 years. That is my experience.

We live and learn. Hopefully, we do manage to learn from the good things as well as the bad.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Hi @the wife1962

Yes your past marriage does matter in your new marriage. Our past is our future unless we change it. Your past marriage ended for a reason. Why? (I am not asking for you to list them here) how are these reasons impacting your current marriage? Not just the obvious but the subtle. For instance how are you protecting yourself from being hurt like you where in your marriage.

For example I had a relationship that my GF had serious body image issues. Her ex, to control her demeaned her body. As a result she always felt uncomfortable with nudity anytime and anyplace. She had a huge issue letting anyone see her butt. I mean like getting up out of bed after sex and backing into the bathroom. To me it said "I don't trust you" and denied me a comfort level I need in a LTR.


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