# Don't know how to do the next step (Really stuck)



## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

So obviously I have to move out, but its not that easy, I'm broke like going to struggle getting lunch this week broke. Everything gets paid I'm on a good wage, but I can't afford to get deposit on a rental, I don't even know of I can get a rental with my credit history. This isn't my home Country, all the stuff I've done here, has been with her. (8 years) we live in a tiny cramped house, and I can't let my kids, or me be put through this situation anymore. She makes me angry, so it's hard not to 'bite' especially as I've found my strength, she breaks it.
I can't afford to move for a while, and its not easy staying put.
I can't kick her out, her name is on the lease, plus she'll play the cops out here in a heartbeat, they'd be easy for her to twist. I have no option there, and she came so close tonight.
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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Don't put yourslef in a situation where you run into legal trouble. Can you stay with a friend for a little while we you sort things out? I don't know your story; but, I do know how vindicative spouses can put you in a bind if you have trouble controlling yourself or if they are willing to lie.


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

She's that bad, has in the past, and will happen again.
No I have a mate, that would probably let me crash on his couch, but it'll be a long time before I can my own place. I don't think I even can with my credit (all her bloody fault too, she chewed through my inheritance over the years, too the *****)
Can't believe I was stung by a piece of **** like her, 8 years, 2 kids, played from the start. she's good I'll give her that.

I have work tomorrow, thank god, and if she doesn't run away with them tomorrow, (been there a few times) I should breeze through the week. I have a lawyer and when it comes to the children, I know where I stand. If she does run, it'll do her no favours.

All I have to do is get out..
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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

It's like a complete trap, like she knows how to keep me at my lowest point, although I'm not this time, the less time I spend around her the better. As soon as I'm out this time, I'll not even be 'grieving' I'm past that, went to the bottom. NC with her unless its about picking the children up. When I finally get to walk away its going to be great.
My kids are dead excited about coming to 'your house' and it helped them sleep after being put to bed under the impression that their 'mother' was calling the police to get rid of Daddy..

This is not who I am, I cannot believe I've got here, makes me sick, I shouldn't be going through this, let alone the innocent little things that I'm supposed to protect. Makes me sick.

There is pain, it does hurt, but only because (i thought) she never used to be like this. Of course she was, when we met she was just spitting the bones of her last one out. The pain is now from the situation I'm in right now.

And I can't see a way out clearly...
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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Have you thought of geting a second job and putting that money aside for ur future? This will also keep you away from her and give you some peace, keep you exhausted to the point of not focusing on marital issues


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

Walkonmars that's not a bad idea, find something for the afternoon, would be able to get out a lot faster, and wouldn't have to be there so much. Will look into that today I think. 

Sat at the bus stop waiting for work, I wonder if they'll be there when I get home :/
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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

I know someone that has 3 jobs. Try hotel nightdesk, fast food, pizza delivery, or do what ur reg job on the side if possible. You'll be making money instead of moping around being hostile w u kno who


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

Moping around the house, haha yeah that's about right. Get 'home' at 6 and then it's knife edge tension till the kids go to sleep. There's nothing productive to do there except sit on my phone with the tv on.
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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Are there things you can sell on ebay for extra cash? Used iPhones iPods ?


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

Not really, she's been going through selling everything to bring in mor cash week to week..

There's bound to be a few bits and pieces that I can let go of though, love your thinking!


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

What country are you in? If you have Craigslist where you are start from there. Some land lords don't require a credit check. I got lucky and found two in a row who didn't. 
The other option is find someone who is renting out part of their house. Some people will rent out their whole basement suite if it's a walk out. You might find something where you have more privacy than just a roommate. 
I would be extremely careful about any roommate situation because of your kids. Do your research on people and good luck.
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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

I can't live in a roommate situation, I have to have my own space, and obviously when I have my kids, so do they..

I've used this Countries equivalent of Craigslist to put up a posting, fingers crossed, something comes up..


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Which country are you in? I have some website addresses for housing in the UK, if you are in the UK.


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## BeenHurt (Sep 19, 2012)

Im in freaking New Zealand, although I'm from the UK


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