# Insecure About Moving Home After Separation



## uncertain95 (Mar 4, 2012)

I have made really bad decisions about men since I started dating. My worst decision, by far, was getting married at 19 to a man who was completely unwilling to work towards building a future together. He was extremely controlling and emotionally abusive throughout our relationship. I finally got up the courage to leave him when I found out that he had spent ALL of our rent and food money on drugs and was planning on providing for us by asking his parents for help. It was so humiliating that I could see no other option but to leave. 

Now I am only 22 and separated. I am moving back in with my parents while I am in graduate school and I am nervous because I grew up in a very small town...everyone knew I was married and everyone will know I'm getting a divorce. I am so ashamed that I married him in the first place, but I feel like I won't even be able to move past it because I will be living in the same small town he and I met in and I will constantly be surrounded by people who know that I was the one who left..and facing their judgment on a daily basis. 

It doesn't help that while I have been avoiding dragging mutual friends into our drama by keeping to myself, he has been going around spreading lies about me to anyone who will listen. He has also started dating again and we have only been separated for a month. I am losing the momentum I had when I first left. I feel extremely lonely. My STBX isolated me from all of the friends I used to have so the only people we ever hung out with were either mutual friends or his friends...I literally have two people that I can talk to. It's difficult to move forward when I feel so isolated and ashamed. Any advice??


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## dazed/confused (Jan 18, 2012)

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have been married for almost 13 years and I moved home yesterday. I'm twice your age. You are doing the right thing to take care of yourself. Being lost and isolated is where I am too. The rudder is off the boat and wind has really picked up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Be Proud.. In school @ 22 you are on schedule for a great life minus a bum husband..

It will be hard emotional but your future is so *BRIGHT*


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Hi Uncertain sorry you are here who cares !!! You did what you had to do for yourself !!! If they dont understand that then to heck with em !!! 

Good Luck


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Maybe you just aren't ready to be dating again and need this time to heal. If you rushed into another relationship you could end up feeling regret and reboounding from person to person.

There's nothing you can do or say that will keep your loser ex husband from spreading lies to make himself feel better, so let him. It won't make a difference when people see that none of this is true and he is the druggie liar. It's usual to be gaslighted but you can't let it get to you. Any whispers or stares from his friends are just further reasons they aren't real friends of yours.

Further more he has tried to control you by keeping you away from friends that could have kept you from him. You could use friends at this time who will be understanding to your situation and hear you out when you just need to talk. I know single friends aren't always the best at this and will just use hindsight to prove all their points but married and divorced friends are completely understanding if you can find the time to talk.


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

just give it sme time the pain will heal also dont worry about the dmall town, they judge everyone no matter what good or bad they do. just focus on your degree and bettering your life, you are young ad have many bright years ahead.


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