# Adjusting



## Hopeful Heart (Apr 23, 2017)

When do you start to feel "normal" again?

I just joined today. I've been looking around a bit and reading some of the forums. Some people seem lost, like me. Then there are others in the singles forum who seem to have it all figured out. When do I get there, how long does it take?

I've been married for 15 years separated for about 8 months. I'm just now getting used to the fact that my house doesn't get dirty anymore. lol Groceries do not cost $500.00 a week. Oddly, the lights are never left on anymore and I'm not kept awake by snoring. I sometimes find myself standing in my living room looking around thinking of something to do. That's how I ended up here. 

I was so afraid to be alone, but it doesn't suck.


----------



## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Everyone is different it all just takes time, just try to keep yourself busy with things you like to do. 

Buy something for yourself with the money you are saving paying less for bills and food, it doesn't have to be anything expensive just something that makes you feel good.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Separated. Still married waiting on divorce?

Does that mean no dating?

If it does, do both agree?

Where are you taking us?


----------



## Hopeful Heart (Apr 23, 2017)

Yes waiting on divorce.

Dating? Hadn't even thought of that. As of right now, I have to figure out who I am. Don't even know me anymore. I have done everything my husbands way and the things my husband has wanted to do for so long. I'm not sure.

He is free to do what he will. Doesn't matter one way or the other to me.

I was just wanting to hear from others how long it took them to adjust and become someone they recognized again. Feeling kind of empty.


----------



## bwent (Oct 20, 2016)

You have good days and bad days my friend. I've been separated 1.5 years. I am in the middle of divorce stuff. I'm having a really bad night tonight... Just feel lost and lonely. But I didn't feel like that yesterday while I was out having a drink with my coworkers and stuff. I don't feel lost when I hold my baby nephew or I walk my dog. It just creeps up on you.

No matter how common it is, we never think divorce will happen to us. It's ok to feel overwhelmed by it.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Hopeful Heart one day you're going to laugh out loud at something silly, or your going to catch yourself singing and dancing for no other reason than it feels good! There's no set time frame, and it won't happen like flipping a switch, but the happy moments keep getting closer and closer together and one day you're just over it.


----------

