# My own bedroom?



## Snow Fighter (Jul 19, 2018)

I've been contemplating about taking some of my bonus money and buying a new bed for one of the spare bedrooms. 

Maybe if I can make this my sanctuary, I can delay the inevitable until my youngest is 16. 

I've been doing the gray rock method when she starts picking at me and so far it's been a good tool. She talks to me in such a demeaning manner, like I'm a 3 year old. 

I can't stand this.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So did she cheat on you or what?

A word of caution, I have a friend whose wife grew up in a house where the parents did this. He says as she states it she never saw any affection in her house, but her parents pretended like they had a good enough marriage. So she learned that marriage was about practicality and work around the house and stuff. She has no instincts to touch him and all affection is initiated from him. It's like she has not instincts for it and doesn't even know how to. It's not natural to her. Meanwhile he is dying inside as far as I can tell when he talks to me. I think he is ready to leave her. By the way her parents got divorced anyway once she grew up.

My point is her parents stayed married for the kids thinking it would protect them but all it did was do damage to her and cause issues in her marriage. Don't assume you are helping them by staying.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Snow Fighter said:


> I've been contemplating about taking some of my bonus money and buying a new bed for one of the spare bedrooms.
> 
> Maybe if I can make this my sanctuary, I can delay the inevitable until my youngest is 16.
> 
> ...


If you're ready for your own bedroom, you're ready for your own life.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

If you think your kids aren't aware of what's going on, you're dead wrong. If you think it doesn't affect them, you're dead wrong. If you think that a divorce at any age is going to be easier for the kids, you're dead wrong. 

Just do it, pull the trigger and get this overwith. No matter what age they are, it's going to be tough on the kids, you're not sparing them anything, just delaying their pain. The thing to do is not to not end the marriage, it's to do it in a way that makes the transition as smooth as possible for the kids - no ****fights with the ex, no badmouthing her to or around them, assuring them that this is all about and between the two of you and that they have done nothing wrong.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Snow Fighter said:


> I've been contemplating about taking some of my bonus money and buying a new bed for one of the spare bedrooms.
> 
> Maybe if I can make this my sanctuary, I can delay the inevitable until my youngest is 16.
> 
> ...


I'd like to suggest you read 482's thread--especially how to deal with harpy-wife (turnera). Gives you relief from verbal abuse which is also emotional abuse even if you do not want to stay in marriage.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Learn to spank her?😁


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Learn to spank her?&#55357;&#56833;


Spank the wrong woman and you may end up getting smacked upside the head :wink2:

A guy spanks me at his own risk.....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Spank the wrong woman and you may find up getting smacked upside the head :wink2:
> 
> A guy spanks me at his own risk.....


Mileage definitely varies by user. That is why I suggested learning.:grin2:

What works with me won't fly with everyone.

This chick sounds like her bum could use a good purpling however!

I also only spank the brat I love!>

I'm kind of rough though so when Mrs. C gets feisty and physically rough with me, I eat it up and kiss her into submission! LOL!

It ticks her off so bad because she can't keep up whatever onslaught she launched when I just keep kissing 💋 her softly!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The separate bed sends a message.

"I can sleep alone, be comfortable, just fine....alone".

At the side of the bed put a grey rock.

One taken from a park, or a stream bed.
Not taken, borrowed.

When she comes in and asks about the stone, tell her nothing and do not smile.
Do not be surprised is she tosses it out.

Get another, and another.

On harpies, most are females, but some one of them had to get the buzzard knocked up.
Some sport diks.





[THM]-


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## Clockwork (May 2, 2018)

I can totally understand if you want a den to yourself. A lot of men do. Heck, I do. Have a TV there, a couch, etc. Your own little hangout. But yeah, if you are married, you should be sleeping in the same bed as your wife every night.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

I just read all this thread and comments and felt very sad about some points. 

1 why two people who got together voluntarily and were once so happy together cannot just discuss their problems and choose a point in their past to reference and go and start again at that point because it was a happy point.

2 How all of us look at the situation and recognise it as a hopeless situation and give advice to terminate. Not one is suggesting anything positive for the marriage, possibly because the evidence presents shows there is no hope. 


Just to say from my perspective that if my husband made a bed for himself and moved out of our bed, it would be a very strong and possibly final statement to me. I would not need to ask any questions after that other than to ask which one of us should file for divorce. 

There are many couples with one party talking down to the other like talking to a baby, all or most of the time. I think this is inherited from family behaviours where they grew up. It also increases as frustration over the lack of response sets in when the other party increases resentment at being talked at in that manner. 

I have always advocated the use of a detailed diary. instead of fighting back in verbal, detail the event in writing. Never blame the other person directly. Only focus on how you were made to feel. When you are not is your spouse will read your diary and a measure of whether there is hope or not is from how they react to how you feel. Most abusers are not aware of their abuse and its effects. Some even see it as love.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Spank the wrong woman and you may end up getting smacked upside the head :wink2:
> 
> A guy spanks me at his own risk.....


Some of the more dangerous things in life are simply worth the risk...

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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