# just need to sound off



## needinghelp37 (Oct 4, 2012)

I recently told my spouse of some 19 years together that I was thinking of leaving. We have children together and have been together since I was quite young. At the very bginning of our marriage I was wooed by him, an older man by a lot at the time. After we were together a while I became the chaser, the one always looking to please him, he took away affection and started to say he didn't know how to love. He needs validation in sex, but besides that there is no real intamicy. He can not even look me in the eye never mind holdmy hand. It has gone on to the breaking point for me. Since I have told him I was thinking of leaving things have started to spiral out of control. I am seeking counseling for both of us. He is acting frantic in his emotions, and I know that I am the only support he has. He has never carried lasting friendships since I have known him. 1 friend at a time then they fade away (he stops answering calls) he feels threatened by the world, questions my and our kids "loyalty" I have looked on line and am starting to believe he has a personality disorder. I just found out through all this he had some severe childhood trauma and I know he came from a very abusive home. I want to leave..I am sick to my stomach and do not want our kids living on eggshells like we all have to. I have a very good support system, but now I am very afraid of what will happen to him if I go. I am angry by this and angry at him for not going to counseling the last some odd years I have asked. I feel like he is calling out for help but when I try to talk to him or hug him to reassure him he literally pushes me away and will just not speak. I know he sees me as the enemy..I can feel that. Hoping counseling calls today.. I just needed to vent this. There is a lot more involved than all this..I feel so sad for anyone suffering the way I have seen my husband suffer all these years...


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## Jemm (Sep 18, 2012)

I'm sorry all of you have to go thru these feelings. Think about reading co dependant no more. U can be co dependant on more than addicts. Stay strong I'm praying for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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