# Online relationships????



## RoseMel

My husband and I just got back together after being seperated and living seperatly for 10 months, after I found out he was having online relationships with other woman. We were together 11 years prior to this with 2 children. The relationships were mostly sexual in nature, but a few were just talking (the latter I think hurt the most). I can see that he is really trying since he's been back home he deleted Facebook and other social sites. and he has really been trying to work on things at home. But I can't seem to get these conversations he had with these woman out of my head, (spyware on the computer, when I knew something was up) And I cant seem to look at him the same. Why do men and woman want to have relationships online in the first place. I get it, everyone wants to feel attractive, interesting, wanted, sexy you can go on an on. But I didn't ignore my husband, we had our normal relationship issues, but all and all we were happy. So why do men and woman do this, when they have a loveing spouce at home? (NOT saying it's ok if you have a jerk spouse)

I'm trying to make it work, but I'm struggling!
Rose


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## Hope1964

It will be a struggle, whether you stay with him or not. Our stories are similar (link in my sig to mine if you're interested) but we are together today and we are doing very well.

It took MC and IC for both of us to work through things - we're still in MC but I wouldn't have gotten clarity without IC. My husband is a sex addict and attends a 12 step group (he's there tonight  ) and is very remorseful - there's very little he could be doing better. But without that, we'd have nothing.

If you are looking for the WHY, stop. There are as many answers to WHY as there are cheaters. He made a choice, simple as that. Internet sex chats, porn sites, webcams, they are all VERY accessible and the temptation just proves too much for some. If he's truly working things out with you and is truly remorseful, then you have a shot. But he will need to do almost all of the heavy lifting.

There are many excellent posts in the coping with infidelity forum - take some time to read them and know that you're not alone.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

andwilson said:


> Rose, tell me one thing, how many times you did romance with your husband, after marriage. Rarely!
> 
> But, why? Do you not love your husband, anymore? if answer is no, then why don't you show it.
> 
> This could be the one reason, why your husband is trying to make an online relation with some other lady? If you don't want to lose your husband, then start showing your love towards him.


thats kind of presumptuous, isnt it?
automatically its her?
it couldnt be on the guy?
why is that?


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## RoseMel

andwilson, 
believe me my husband wasn't being neglected in that area. This started when my husband was laid off a couple of years ago.(he been back to work now, for over a year) he had a very nice job and was gone a lot. I was a stay at home mom so I went back to work until he found something. I ended up working for 2 years (and stayed working even when he went back to work) while he stayed home and i believe went though a depression and mid life crisus (can u go through those at 30) I worked, took care of kids, cleaned the house, took care of his needs and NEVER rubbed it in his face! During that time he started his flirtations online. So I'm sorry if I struggle with takeing the blame for my husbands wondering eyes.


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