# My lonely anniversary



## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

In about twenty minutes it will be Halloween, October 31st, my 2nd anniversary of the day I got married. I have spoken to my husband face to face or on a phone for 5 months and ten days and 6 hours. My pain was becoming bearable. I thought I was fine until I saw him. Then he sent me my pictures of our past three years together in the mail.It brought it all back. I also had to attend a small puedo-high school reunion of a musical production of Les Mis during which we had fallen in love. He wasn't there, but the others were and that music was. I sat in my car afterwards and cried as though my heart would bleed. I feel so alone. How can he live with himself after walking out me like that, no reasons, no warning, just gone. Some days I feel like my marriage never happened. Like I was dreaming. Other moments I keep expecting to see his face when I wake up, I can feel him right there. But he is gone. I can't accept it. I know he is never coming back, I know he isn't the same person, but that pain. It is scorching and numbing and cold. I need to scream and cry and will myself to shut off my emotions in order to feel some semblance of order in my life. I love him. I hate him. Happy anniversary to me. But I do not feel sorry for myself. As a favorite quote goes...

I have learned silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant
and kindness from the unkind.
I should not be ungrateful to those teachers.
- Khalil Gibran[/CENTER
Not really looking for any answers here, just a place to vent. Thank you.​


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Vent away, thats what this board is for. We all have ups and downs as we go through this painful process. Use the board as a tool to vent your frustrations and let it all out!


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Great quotation Gabriel, thanks for sharing.

Why did your h send pictures to you? I refuse to look at any pictures from my soon to be over marriage. Maybe someday I will but not now. Where are the pictures now? 

What about avoiding situations that remind you of your ex? I know it's probably not healthy to do for the rest of your life but just until you have your strength back and your head on straight it might help.

You have a great attitude. And as Sod says, let it all out here. This site has been a sanity saver for me.


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

I'm sorry that you're having to go through all of that. 

My WH and I are separated at the moment. Every morning when I wake up, it hits me all over again that this is real life and really happening and I can't just do something to change it because it isn't in my hands. And I never know what's going to trigger the emotions. I'm about 2.5 months in, but I definitely understand how you're feeling.

Hang in there!


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