# How to call it quits



## happysong (Jun 18, 2010)

So I am at a place where I dont see any long term reconciliation whatsoever. 

I have tried so hard for so long. Me and my H continue to have so many problems; lack of connection, finance, children (I want kids and he does not), in laws. One minute my H is so nice and calls me the nicest woman on earth and the other he mentally beats me down, and says I am the most difficult, horrible person to live with. We decided to have kids before marriage but he went back on his word and has finally told me flat out he wont have any. That having children is too restrictive on his freedom and too much responsibility as well as a financial burden.

I cant force him to have kids with me, but he cannot force me not to. So I have told him "I want it Out" and he beats me on that (mentally). I think the thought of me calling the shots, hurts his ego. He wants to be the one to call divorce, which is fine with me, as long as I can get out unscathed. I want to end to be smooth. I am willing to split half way where he can keep whatever he owns and I get whatever I owned. We dont have any kids or joint property. But it seems he is just not willing to let me go.

We are currently living in a rental apt which is leased for another year. He wants to finish the lease, but I dont want to live under the same roof and constantly fight. I also want to move on, and dont think we should keep pretending to be husband and wife. I have a feeling he wont let me go without making it very bitter and I just want things to end smoothly because in my mind I see no solution. 

We both make good money, I dont see how having a child is such a big financial burden in our circumstance. It seems he is just not willing to work with me on anything. Its his way or the highway. I am tired and scared. I am also alone here, as my family is back at home in my country. What should I do? I need strength and courage to do the right thing. But what is the right thing?

It breaks my heart the call it "quits" as this is my second marriage. I really wanted to make it work, but cannot keep living a life where I have to constantly please my H, go through his extreme mood swings where he loves me one minute and then hates me the other, or hates the thought of raising kids with me. I am in my mid 30's and dont have time for him to change his mind...just so tired...

I guess it would hurt for a while but be better for the long run to call "quits"


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