# He told me he does not want to see my mom



## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

and stepdad. He does not want them to say anything to him. I totally understand, I told my mom not to say anything but she won't listen. If she does say something when we do see them I feel like that might get him very mad or want to leave.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

So what is the issue? You understand so:

- see them alone and explain why your husband isn't there, or

- don't see them and explain why you aren't.


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

my kids want to see their grandparents and will ask why daddy is not going.
And if I have to see my inlaws everyday(i live with them) he should suck it up and go over with us.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

This is one of the consequences of having an affair. He doesn't get to close his eyes and wish it away. He has to deal with the fallout. It's not fair at all for him to hide and let you handle the fallout of his actions.

That said, this should be primarily between you and your husband. Yes, I'm sure his actions have hurt your mother. But nowhere near as much as they have hurt you. And if you have made the decision to work to forgive him, she doesn't have the right to try to sabotage it.

So talk to your mother and tell her to either be supportive of both of your efforts, or just hold her tongue completely. And then tell your husband that he is expected to put on his big boy pants and deal with this.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

O K.....What's the back story here?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Got it now!

If he's the cheater he SHOULD suck it up and deal with the sh*t strm he caused


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Got it now!
> 
> If he's the cheater he SHOULD suck it up and deal with the sh*t strm he caused


yes he is the cheater and he should put on his big boy panties and deal with it


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

that being said my mom should mhob and keep her mouth shut


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I agree with both of your last posts... Your husband should suck it up, face the consequences of his actions, and deal with it. And your mom should mind her own business at this point. If the two of you are working through things, and are ok with where things are at, she needs to observe some boundaries or she'll have to face the consequences of HER actions, which might include not seeing her grandkids for awhile.

What kind of stuff is your mom saying? Does she understand where the two of you are at in your relationship? Has your husband apologized to her for the damage he's done to your marriage? He has had an impact on everyone surrounding you, even if it's not a direct impact. 

C


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