# playfull sexts



## wiseDOM (Aug 30, 2014)

Hey all, first off I have gotten some good info from TAM. I think for most guys we fall in life with the domesticated Tom cat after marriage and we then need to regain our feral nature so to speak. So thanks to the wise souls that help bring it back.

I've always been a good alpha beta mix and an EXTREMELY HD. It helps that she is my banging senorita. She however is lower drive. I'm not gonna go into our life's story other then we are both busy. I travel ALOT. we have kids and she works and is in her master's program. Alright background shield turned back on.

I like to sext, sometimes graphic sometimes you almost wouldn't realize it was sexual, but cmon, what adult couldn't catch some inferences.

IE. Talking about my day and how good it was.

Her: sweet
Me: me or you
Her: that your day was freaking awesome petah. ( family guy reference, yes we both love family guy)
Me: ? You said sweet, I said me or you, who is sweet.
Her: you then
Me: oh, so what are you?
He: sour and sweet.
Me: how man licks does it take to get through the sour part.
Her: none I'm a sour patch kid.
Me: to bad, guess I''ll need to do and exchange for something sweet.
Her. Oh, what kind of candy do you like?
Me: (i know all you witty people have some way better responses, but it was a long day on a tower in the Sun so not at my best). Not sure, I don't know what kinda candy likes to get ****ed.
Her: oh..........that's what you were talking about.
Me: sounds of hatches closing and bomb proof doors shutting.


she goes on to tell me all the excuses why she isn't feeling into my type of playfully. And down hill from there.
So I'm wondering Wtf, I'm attractive fit, blue collar alpha. Attentive but no butler. It don't push every day for sext, average is once maybe twice a week. 

In my searching, I've seen some guys say their SO is....misguided about what they think a good girl should be like and sex is bad.

I guess in curious about A. Are there any thoughts of how to help get her more involved. And B. I would like to think that playful sext would be pretty common and liked by most healthy, attractive coupes. And that may be the issue right there.

Thoughts?


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Yeah, my problem exactly. My hubby won't do it either, I have already given up


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## wiseDOM (Aug 30, 2014)

Lila said:


> A) Some people are just not interested in sexting; others are just not good at it. If your love life is good IRL, then don't worry so much about the sexting.
> 
> B) There is no correlation between the quality of sexting and the health of a marriage or attractiveness of couple. For reasons why, see A).


A.I agree some aren't. The issue is when she shows she likes receiving them but not giving. So I'm not that into things that aren't reciprocated. You want something I do it for you because I care, I want something guess what should happen. 

B. I'm not establishing a link between sexting and marriage health. However I enjoy it. And it is one way of showing passion and desire when separated for weeks. Showing her romance in her love language or not showing it, let's say flowers, doesn't correlate to a healthy marriage. But must people would argue that doing so helps. It shows a willingness to respect other people wants.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Ummm, does she seem put off by the more overt/graphic texts? Or is it just this type of "playful" texts that she seems to struggle with? 

I ask because, frankly, she may simply have been distracted and/or not realized where you were going with that string of text until you introduced the fvcking bit near the end. Hard to imagine, I know, but she simply may not have sexual innuendo on her mind 100% of the time. It reads like she was being playful but not necessarily overtly sexually playful, and that may be what she thought you were doing as well. 

A good percentage of what makes face-to-face communication effective is totally absent in texts. There's no body language, facial expression, tone or nuance. Sometimes it can be tough to convey meaning through text unless you're willing to be very upfront. 

Let me ask this: How do you think she "should" have responded? What were you looking for?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Lila said:


> Again, some people are into it and some are not. Your wife doesn't seem to be that into it, which is not unusual BTW. I too don't feel comfortable sexting. It's not something that comes naturally to me and it ends up feeling awkward. It also makes it doubly awkward when my husband attempts to sext while I'm working. The starts/stops make it even more difficult to keep the "storyline".
> 
> But if this is a big deal to you, then ask her to google 'sexting tips'. There are websites out there that have scripted language she can use to help with awkwardness.



I agree.

My wife likes sexting, and she is usually very graphic.
If I posted some of the screenshots here it would make others blush.

But somehow I'm just not into it. Sometimes I respond in kind and play along with her , but really it just doesn't do anything for me.

Over the phone or Skype works for me, and we have done it lots in the past when we aren't physically together.


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## wiseDOM (Aug 30, 2014)

Rowan said:


> Ummm, does she seem put off by the more overt/graphic texts? Or is it just this type of "playful" texts that she seems to struggle with?
> 
> I ask because, frankly, she may simply have been distracted and/or not realized where you were going with that string of text until you introduced the fvcking bit near the end. Hard to imagine, I know, but she simply may not have sexual innuendo on her mind 100% of the time. It reads like she was being playful but not necessarily overtly sexually playful, and that may be what she thought you were doing as well.
> 
> ...


This was just one example, happened to be more innuendo then overt sexuality. I know everyone is different, and it may not be her bag. I think the issue that grinds my gears..... ....hehe........is if she wanted something that I wasn't a fan of like she may not be for sects, I would really on care if I had a moral issue with it. To me as long as a side isn't taking advantage of the other,fitness tests what have you, then I don't care. But expect the same. How crappy is it if everyone said well I'm nut comfortable with that so no. Not washing the kids, or anything else that may not be the highlight if your interest.


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## wiseDOM (Aug 30, 2014)

Lila said:


> Again, some people are into it and some are not. Your wife doesn't seem to be that into it, which is not unusual BTW. I too don't feel comfortable sexting. It's not something that comes naturally to me and it ends up feeling awkward. It also makes it doubly awkward when my husband attempts to sext while I'm working. The starts/stops make it even more difficult to keep the "storyline".
> 
> But if this is a big deal to you, then ask her to google 'sexting tips'. There are websites out there that have scripted language she can use to help with awkwardness.


I could see helping to educate her as helping her feel more comfortable.


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## wiseDOM (Aug 30, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> Lila said:
> 
> 
> > Again, some people are into it and some are not. Your wife doesn't seem to be that into it, which is not unusual BTW. I too don't feel comfortable sexting. It's not something that comes naturally to me and it ends up feeling awkward. It also makes it doubly awkward when my husband attempts to sext while I'm working. The starts/stops make it even more difficult to keep the "storyline".
> ...



See the difference is sometimes you play along. And you also enjoy bring on the phone, assuming she us okay with that it works for you. I can't even get that far. Oh she likes dirty talk, if she's in the mood. And I'm the only one doing it, try to get something out of her tho.....fawgeta bout it.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Some women may like the tit-for-tat/ challenge-riposte style of banter...as the push-pull can trigger sexual power-play interest.

Others, such as your wife, may not be into power play...and if she is LD, her sexual desire may preferentially build through romantic, intimacy building endeavors. Not saying that she NEVER will get turned on by your playful aggressive style, but intimacy is probably her preference and requires it as a touchpoint. 

Otherwise, she may just feel like a seal being playfully tossed about by an orca before being devoured. It can be exhausting:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> I agree.
> 
> My wife likes sexting, and she is usually very graphic.
> If I posted some of the screenshots here it would make others blush.
> ...


Be careful, remember service provider has all those pics etc......

:scratchhead:


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
my wife and I send coded texts.
XOXNENssGGGQQFQFQ**Q*Q*QYQYQ**
would be a VERY nice evening
(and no, I'm not going to give away the code...)


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Stop texting, you are not a teenage girl.

Problem solved.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Ummm, does she seem put off by the more overt/graphic texts? Or is it just this type of "playful" texts that she seems to struggle with?
> 
> I ask because, frankly, she may simply have been distracted and/or not realized where you were going with that string of text until you introduced the fvcking bit near the end. Hard to imagine, I know, but she simply may not have sexual innuendo on her mind 100% of the time. It reads like she was being playful but not necessarily overtly sexually playful, and that may be what she thought you were doing as well.
> 
> ...


IMO texting is an absolutely horrible way to communicate all but the most basic things. There is no tone, inflection, or body language to interpret. With just the words, the actual meaning behind the words can easily be misunderstood.

How is your ACTUAL sex life?


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