# How does one live in sexless marriages?



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

My wife and I are in the sh-tter, so now it's a system shock of having sex multiple times a day to nothing at all with not much hope of reconciliation. But I'd rather have nothing at all then to put up with her again. Still... I'm curious

How did you guys survive for years at a time? Just the hand? How to handle the temptation of cheating especially when there's so many women out there waiting for love? Also if it is just the hand, is it just me, or have you guys noticed erection problems during intercourse with later dates after being too used to the hand? I suffered that during long draughts/fights with my wife, or STBXW whatever.

Anyways, I don't know if I can survive a year seperation without finding a new woman on the side in the meantime if my wife and I decide to call it quits. Stupid law, can't even divorce without seperation.


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## Tango (Sep 30, 2012)

I have been wondering the same thing myself. I personally won't screw around on him, so I take matters into,my own hands.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

How about during seperation?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> How about during seperation?


Well, I started seeing someone shortly after separating, but I was very sure my marriage was over. But many people don't agree with that mindset. I think you really run a risk of complicating things, if reconciliation is on the table later. 

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Damn... then that's going to mean it's going to be a while before I get anything at all then at this rate. One mistake in my life is bad enough, not living another so I won't cheat, but it may take a while before I'm sure that it's over, unless my wife helps me out a little and mention the D word again or something... now that would be fun

Just hope it's not something like a year or something, but would definitely be one hell of a break!


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

I manage by working the issue and see sexless as a temporary state in our marriage.... been almost three years with very little sex I feel we are almost back to a sexual marriage... takes time to recover. Shes getting closer everyday just a matter of time. I will not cheat becuse of lack of sex... instead I learn to love my wife in different ways until she comes back around sexually.

The hand helps.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

My penis has had more of my hand time than anything else. Has it affected intercourse? No. I've been in a 13 year marriage that has slowly dwindled down to a couple times a month. I do think it has slightly affected BJ's & HJ's...or my wife is just really bad at them...I think it is a combination of both. So, I masturbate about 16 to 20 times a month and only get nookie a couple times a month. That sounds like fun, right? 
While masturbating has kept me from going outside the marriage, I have had it up to my bald head with touching myself...I have a beautiful wife that could be taking care of my needs, but she doesn't quite see it that way. Things are about to change.
I refuse to live this way much longer. Either she adjusts and meets her marriage commitment, or she will have to find someone else to roommate with.
That really bothers me at night...laying there, desiring sex, knowing I have a perfectly capable wife to share intimate time with, yet she is content on starving me...


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## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

A bit confused here - sounds like you are saying you are about to separate and you expect to be a good boy while separated. That seems to contradict the reason for separating entirely. I would just assume that separation is the green light to go do whatever you want...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

live in a sexless marriage? Or just without sex?

For me, I wasn't living in a sexless marriage, i was slowly dying in it.

As for going without sex while not in a relationship, well it's no fun but you realize that you don't need it to survive, in fact there are lots of other things that still bring some joy. Some people can still get sexual needs met by others while not in a relationship, but I just don't work that way, so when I need I take care of my own pleasure, but it's not entirely satisfactory and I'd rather just get to the point where I feel confident being in a relationship again.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm not getting any and I'm HD.I orgasm daily...sometimes twice or thrice on weekends You do what you have to do til you're ready for intimacy with another person.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> But I'd rather have nothing at all then to put up with her again. Still... I'm curious
> 
> Anyways, I don't know if I can survive a year seperation without finding a new woman on the side...


Read your 1st line above again. That should help you get through. And, yeah, you'll survive. I didn't think I could either, but then the Army sent me to Saudi for 7 months. Not a whole lot of ways to get in trouble over there.  I survived.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yeah, I guess I can hold out, slowly getting into the new routine... my brain has been going all over the place recently... think I'm calming down now


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> My wife and I are in the sh-tter, so now it's a system shock of having sex multiple times a day to nothing at all with not much hope of reconciliation. But I'd rather have nothing at all then to put up with her again. Still... I'm curious
> 
> How did you guys survive for years at a time? Just the hand? How to handle the temptation of cheating especially when there's so many women out there waiting for love? Also if it is just the hand, is it just me, or have you guys noticed erection problems during intercourse with later dates after being too used to the hand? I suffered that during long draughts/fights with my wife, or STBXW whatever.
> 
> Anyways, I don't know if I can survive a year seperation without finding a new woman on the side in the meantime if my wife and I decide to call it quits. Stupid law, can't even divorce without seperation.


I survived years of total drought. I mean complete. I will NOT cheat, so that left only one relief - polishing the bayonet  And I polished the heck out of it!  My porn collection was diverse and thorough :smthumbup:

I believe that if I am married, if I want to play the field and give up on the marriage, the first order of business is to dissolve the marriage, assuming it is dead on the vine and not merely in need of some TLC. Once it's dissolved, then and only then will I find someone else. Even if she cheats, which my ex didn't, by the way.

And no, whacking off all those years had no effect on performance later with other women. Maybe because I wasn't trying to kill it


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

I've yet to read a post on TAM of anyone who went longer than I did without. And yet here I sit, still breathing. Make no mistake...it bites big time. But I survived. For several years. Focused on raising my younger kids, started a side business, bought a motorcycle......


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

My sex life has been a work in progress for a majority of my marriage. I used to place all the blame on the fact my wife is LD. Although that was still the primary cause, there was plenty I could be doing.

This site has been great for me. I have changed things about myself that I never really noticed I was doing. I took on some of the blame for our lack of sex. I become more assertive about our sex life. I didn't beat a dead horse, but I kept the topic on the forefront. I started doing the things again that I knew my wife liked.

We started branching out a little sexually. Experimented with some toys. Found a great one that helps her reach orgasm while we are having sex. Its amazing what regular orgasms will do for a woman's sex drive. it is also amazing how providing those orgasms, with help or not, take a load off...both literally and figuratively. 

Our sexless periods depressed me. I felt sorry for myself and almost quit trying. I kept at it. Continued to try to make improvements. During our first pregnancy and after my child was born, there was a 15 month period of no sex. Through effort by both of us, woith me taking the lead, we are about once a week.

It sucked...but it can change and be worth it.


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

ARF said:


> My sex life has been a work in progress for a majority of my marriage. I used to place all the blame on the face my wife is LD. Although that was still the primary cause, there was plenty I could be doing.
> 
> This site has been great for me. I have changed things about myself that I never really noticed I was doing. I took on some of the blame for our lack of sex. I become more assertive about our sex life. I didn't beat a dead horse, but I kept the topic on the forefront. I started doing the things again that I knew my wife liked.
> 
> ...


Thanks for posting this. This is what I'm working toward. I need to focus more on what I'm going to do. Tonight I will purchase the Married Man's Sex Life Primer. We'll see where it gets me.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Funny really, I tried porn, didn't do it for me

But then I thought of my STBX and the good times when we actually had good sex and away I went - yay. Then afterwards, I kicked myself and had a shower and threw up, disgusted with myself.

Bleh, never doing that again


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

I would suggest sexless marriages (unless mutually agreed-upon) rarely survive over the long term. The reason is that too much frustration and resentment over the mismatch in effort and expectations build up for them to last.

Based on personal experience and what I've read, the following is a typical series of events in a sexually unsatisfying marriage:

1. At some point in the marriage, one spouse alone cuts back sex (frequency, variety, and/or enthusiasm) to unacceptably low levels if not refuses sex althogether. For a variety of reasons, it becomes unimportant.

2. The refused spouse will try to manage the situation by trying to earn sex, appease the refuser, or just waiting it out. But, the sex does not return, so efforts to manage the situation fail.

3. The refused spouse starts to distance himself or herself from the refuser. This can be out of anger or out of simple self-preservation (avoiding a painful situation). And the distance can take several forms: less together time, more time out with friends or at work, less contribution to the household, perhaps even an EA or PA.

4. The refuser sees this distance forming and becomes angry about it. The refuser is self-centered and/or lacks empathy, and does not understand or refuses to acknowledge that failing to meet his or her spouse's physical need carries negative consequences. As a result, the refuser thinks he or she is being punished unfairly ("you should treat me the same even if we don't have sex") and may retaliate in response.

5. (3) and (4) repeat in a vicious cycle until a crisis point is reached and the relationship is fixed or ended.

The key here is the refuser's expectation that they should suffer no negative consequences as a result of that refusal. This expectation is simply unrealistic.

I recall only one gentleman here on TAM is managing to make this work while feeling okay about it. But, IIRC that is due in big part to his wife accepting a significant amount of distance and accepts visible reminders of his unhappiness. He uses porn to meet his needs and does his own thing to a large extent - most refusing wives would not tolerate this (esp. the porn). Also, he is able to stay positive despite not having his wife - something not all guys are able to do.

So, back to you (the OP). The mere fact you are asking "how you people do it" says to me that you will not be able to tolerate the current situation forever. That being the case, you (knowing what comes next) need to resolve this issue to your satisfaction before resentment sets in further (which makes resolution more difficult if not impossible).

Or, you need to develop an exit strategy as favorable to you as possible. If you can't go happily without sex indefinitely, your unhappiness will manifest somehow in your relationship. If your wife is obtuse or indifferent enough to deny sex for long periods of time, she almost certainly will not tolerate you pulling back from her. Without eventual resolution of the sex problem, she will at some point bail on you even if you decide to tough it out and do your own thing.


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## russ101 (Jan 8, 2010)

I agree with DTO, in my case, my wife's refusal to have sex, has caused me to really not care about her needs, and in return she is definitely noticing the difference. She used to really enjoy foot and neck massages from me after a long day of work. I stopped them completely. She knows why too. I told her as long as were acting like roomates, I wouldn't give a roomate a foot massage, so any massages are out of the question until we start acting like husband and wife again. She also wants me to fill up her gas tank and generally take care of her car. I told her I wouldn't fill up my roomates gas tank, so handle it yourself (I still change her oil, only because she would run the car into the ground if I didn't and we would be stuck buying a new one!). There are more, but you get the idea. Is this good for a marriage, NO but neither is denying a spouses biggest need indefinitley. DTO is right on with their analogy.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Random, in my opinion, I think if you and your wife are officially over, one of you moves out, and the thought of R is not in the picture, then having sex with other people causes no harm. I know many think that they should wait for the divorce, but really? what difference does it make, it's just a paper finalizing what was already over. I only waited a couple of months, but I also knew I didn't want anything serious, I just had needs like everyone else.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

RD, if you're going to be_ legally _separated, I see no reason why you can't discreetly date other women. If there's any hope of reconciliation, though, this is obviously not a good idea.

I'm really sorry that things didn't work out between you and your W...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

working_together said:


> Random, in my opinion, I think if you and your wife are officially over, one of you moves out, and the thought of R is not in the picture, then having sex with other people causes no harm. I know many think that they should wait for the divorce, but really? what difference does it make, it's just a paper finalizing what was already over. I only waited a couple of months, but I also knew I didn't want anything serious, I just had needs like everyone else.


Thanks for this, and I'm giving it time until I know I'm ready for another woman in my bed, and when I don't have my conscience telling me "don't do it!". But thanks, at least now I know I don't have to suffer for a full year.



LearningLifeQDay said:


> RandomDude...I feel for both of you. The disconnect's going to be hard, but you only live once. When you're 6 ft. under then you can ponder how your life was. I've been down the path before you. My first marriage was pretty much sexless...Do you know what I called that? Brother - sister. The second was fulfilling sexually. Do you know what I called that? A marriage. Some couples can handle and really enjoy a marriage where it's 'brother - sister.' I couldn't.
> You don't know when you're going to meet that lady, but you can't if you don't go out and increase your chances. See above 'working together's' quote.


I don't know mate, there was no one else I wanted to love. But I couldn't love her anymore no matter how much I wanted to. We grew apart, 2 years honeymoon, 5 years of struggling. I'm interested only in NSAs and FWBs for the rest of my life. Especially considering how much I'm losing over all of this, I am unable to see the point of even loving someone anymore.

Only one I'm going to allow myself to love is my daughter. I'm incapable of loving anyone else again, it's just a dream for me, a fantasy now. I don't see it happening anymore.



> RD, if you're going to be legally separated, I see no reason why you can't discreetly date other women. If there's any hope of reconciliation, though, this is obviously not a good idea.
> 
> I'm really sorry that things didn't work out between you and your W...


Thanks mate, I should be fine. Once I settle into the new routine and lifestyle of single-daddyhood, maybe I can smile again. Reconcilation is impossible.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

*sigh*

"I will never love anyone again" How many times have I said that in my life...

Guess other folks can be lucky, to find it, and be able to keep it. I've realised now I can't do it. I've given myself to the woman I thought I loved and in the end nothing mattered but my c--k. So ok, I'm nothing but a c--k, and I'll never be anything more than a c--k. So hey I'm just going to get girl A, girl B, girl C, to treat me like nothing but a c--k because hey, that's all I deserve.

I don't deserve love


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

DTO said:


> I would suggest sexless marriages (unless mutually agreed-upon) rarely survive over the long term. The reason is that too much frustration and resentment over the mismatch in effort and expectations build up for them to last.
> 
> Based on personal experience and what I've read, the following is a typical series of events in a sexually unsatisfying marriage:
> 
> ...


Dang! This is on the MONEY (unfortunately)!!!:allhail:


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

I'm in a 25 year sexless marriage. The secret to survival is that the couple gets along fine except for the sex. With the sex you simply masturbate and carry on with your day. Sometimes it would be nice to have skin to skin contact with a woman but for me I'd rather keep the family together and not risk having sex outside the marriage. And with porn so plentiful and easily available online you don't have to go out to get sexual release. If the couple is yelling and screaming then they should get a divorce. I like sexual variety and without it can't get aroused so the irony is I had to give up sex in order to get married. The older you get the less you feel the need for sex with someone although the drive to orgasm still stays strong for many. We tried therapy for years but nothing worked so we just accepted the situation.


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

Mr B said:


> I'm in a 25 year sexless marriage. The secret to survival is that the couple gets along fine except for the sex. With the sex you simply masturbate and carry on with your day. Sometimes it would be nice to have skin to skin contact with a woman but for me I'd rather keep the family together and not risk having sex outside the marriage. And with porn so plentiful and easily available online you don't have to go out to get sexual release. If the couple is yelling and screaming then they should get a divorce. I like sexual variety and without it can't get aroused so the irony is I had to give up sex in order to get married. The older you get the less you feel the need for sex with someone although the drive to orgasm still stays strong for many. We tried therapy for years but nothing worked so we just accepted the situation.


Sounds awful. I'm sorry!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Mr.B, sounds like single life too, except you have all the other responsibilities.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Ive been married for 14 yrs. Im 38, my wife is 53. We have not had sex for 2 yrs. We have had alot problems, and we have been separated for 7 months now. We are going to counseling and are trying to work things out.My wife said yesterday that she doesnt think we can ever have sex again, and things are not gonna work out. She said it doesnt feel right when she thinks about us having sex again. In the beginning sex was great, I didnt last super long, which I was always embarrassed about,but we made it work. couple years ago I made the mistake and told her that her junk smelled funny, and she got very upset, and said thats it, sex never again. So here we are 2 yrs later no sex. She doesnt think a sex counselor or any counselor can fix it. I know she loves me to death, and im still sexually attracted to her, but I dont know how to fix it. thats the biggest hurdle between us right now. I cant live in a sexless marriage, we have to figure this out!! Any advice.thanks


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

FishKing said:


> couple years ago I made the mistake and told her that her junk smelled funny, and she got very upset, and said thats it, sex never again.


She has some kind of really serious issues. 

THAT is not a reason to simply shut off the sex train and walk away. 

Not a clue what, but she has something else going on, something big and bad. Years ago, the wife said she didn't like the taste of sperm. Hey, I can understand that. Never really bothered me any. Annoyed at the lack of certain things, because of it, but that's not that big of a deal. And, once she had a hysterectomy, SHE developed a bitter smell and taste I just can't handle much of. It didn't explode her brain to hear it. 

She shaved to see if it would help. 

Like I said, common sense says she's got something serious going on. And it needs to be found.


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## I am Jeannie (Nov 24, 2012)

I thought I was the only one not getting it. But now I know the truth... I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and we have only had sex 10 times. Very sad. I lay in bed heart broken. I sometimes get up when he falls a sleep and go sit in the living room crying my eyes out. I feel so rejected in so many ways. I've had millions of talks with him and he says he does not have a sex drive anymore. Ok I get it, but do something about it. So he tells me he will call the Dr. and make an appointment, this never happens. Its just the same bologna over and over. I Love him very much, but he must not feel the same way if he doesn't care about how I feel and he doesn't follow thru on what he says. I'm not a cheat, but.. I'm really thinking about have a NO STRINGS ATTACHED relationship. I have had many offers but always say no. I really don't know what to do at this point. I sick of the talks, I need action.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

I am Jeannie said:


> I thought I was the only one not getting it. But now I know the truth... I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year now and we have only had sex 10 times. Very sad. I lay in bed heart broken. I sometimes get up when he falls a sleep and go sit in the living room crying my eyes out. I feel so rejected in so many ways. I've had millions of talks with him and he says he does not have a sex drive anymore. Ok I get it, but do something about it. So he tells me he will call the Dr. and make an appointment, this never happens. Its just the same bologna over and over. I Love him very much, but he must not feel the same way if he doesn't care about how I feel and he doesn't follow thru on what he says. I'm not a cheat, but.. I'm really thinking about have a NO STRINGS ATTACHED relationship. I have had many offers but always say no. I really don't know what to do at this point. I sick of the talks, I need action.


Sorry for yuor situation Jeannie however you're not married to him ......... please let go while you still can and look for someone more compatiable. 

Sex isnt' the most important thing in a relationship but it's very much needed since intimacy provides trust and love. It's not going to get any better and you do deserve better. Good luck !


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Lon said:


> Mr.B, sounds like single life too, except you have all the other responsibilities.


Are you kidding me!?

When I was single I never went without sex. I put off marriage until I was 40 and dated for 25 years before I finally did it in order to be part of a family. Paid a really high price but got a couple of great kids out of the deal. Not every marriage is happily ever after but I think leaving some kind of legacy is important.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

oldgeezer said:


> She has some kind of really serious issues.
> 
> THAT is not a reason to simply shut off the sex train and walk away.
> 
> ...



I dont know when things turned bad with the sex. I know after a while it was really ackward, we use to laugh alot during sex, i think it was my insecurities of not lasting long enough, and her being disappointed(even though she never said she was). Like I said before we have other trust issues, and dont always get along.A while back I lied to her about how much I owed on my credit cards,thats all cleaned up now. There is a 15 yr age diff between us, Im 38, and she is 53. Our counselor notice that the dynamic between us is she has taken on the mother roll, and me the kid roll in a way. I was 24 when we got married, and at the time I was living with my parents. So I moved in with her in her house. She feels that I never had that experience of living on my own and being 100% dependent on myself. well these past 7 months I have lived on my own.She is naturally a take charge person, so I guess I have always let her take charge in a way. She says she feels like I am family,and we get along great etc,this may sound weird, but I wonder if she feels that having sex with me again, would be like having sex with your son!?? Gross huh? My thing is that im 150% committed to this relationship, and I think we can get through this!! I just cant see how we could just throw away a 14 yr marriage just like that..Sure I can easily re- marry a hot piece of ass my own age, and have sex all day every day, and start my own family,but thats not what I want to do!!! She even said she is not gaining anything from us divorcing, she is obviously alot older, and could possibly remarry but wont be able to start a new family as she cant have anymore kids. I told her our counselor now, or even a sex therapist could help us, she says you cant force someone to have sex, I said we need to find out why you feel this way, and we can work at it. For now we have a few scheduled counseling appts this week, and were gonna tell the counselor we she said to me, and see what she says..I am so lost about all this!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

First off, everyone lies. Whatever they're shouting at you is maybe 20% true. The rest is something else. Second, most people are 3/4th narcissist - perhaps as low as 60% if they're feeling altruistic. Third, whatever nonsense reason they're telling you, they don't even believe it. They don't even respect you enough to spit on you. 

My wife at least was direct albeit a crushing boor and insane water buffalo when she stated flat out "No No No Not Ever, I hate it and mostly hate you so don't bother ever asking for it or about it."


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

FishKing said:


> I dont know when things turned bad with the sex. I know after a while it was really ackward, we use to laugh alot during sex, i think it was my insecurities of not lasting long enough, and her being disappointed(even though she never said she was). Like I said before we have other trust issues, and dont always get along.A while back I lied to her about how much I owed on my credit cards,thats all cleaned up now. There is a 15 yr age diff between us, Im 38, and she is 53. Our counselor notice that the dynamic between us is she has taken on the mother roll, and me the kid roll in a way. I was 24 when we got married, and at the time I was living with my parents. So I moved in with her in her house. She feels that I never had that experience of living on my own and being 100% dependent on myself. well these past 7 months I have lived on my own.She is naturally a take charge person, so I guess I have always let her take charge in a way. She says she feels like I am family,and we get along great etc,this may sound weird, but I wonder if she feels that having sex with me again, would be like having sex with your son!?? Gross huh? My thing is that im 150% committed to this relationship, and I think we can get through this!! I just cant see how we could just throw away a 14 yr marriage just like that..Sure I can easily re- marry a hot piece of ass my own age, and have sex all day every day, and start my own family,but thats not what I want to do!!! She even said she is not gaining anything from us divorcing, she is obviously alot older, and could possibly remarry but wont be able to start a new family as she cant have anymore kids. I told her our counselor now, or even a sex therapist could help us, she says you cant force someone to have sex, I said we need to find out why you feel this way, and we can work at it. For now we have a few scheduled counseling appts this week, and were gonna tell the counselor we she said to me, and see what she says..I am so lost about all this!!


Does anyone think its possible to get past this hurdle of my wife feeling uncomfortable having sex with me. I may be not acting very sensitive, but she is acting as though she was raped or something, and cant fathom the idea of having sex again with me.....


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> *sigh*
> 
> "I will never love anyone again" How many times have I said that in my life...
> 
> ...


Those words sound awful. If you truly feel that way you should talk with someone much more qualified than any of us. 

As for the sexless marriage, we all go through stretches of no sexual activity. And it can be caused by a variety of reasons. However, if you're both willing to work on the issues together your marriage should survive and thrive. But, if one party is totally unwilling to work on the isssues the marriage will fail. The lack of sex is a symptom, not the illness. To quote a totally non-qualified relationship expert on the radio (who is 100% correct on this), sex and intimacy is the glue that keeps a relationship together. It may not be the most important part, but without the rest will fall apart. 

We only live once, and if you're with someone who no longer considers you a priority you have to make yourself the priorty (children not withstanding - they will always be the top priority). But, do not wait for someone else to make you happy. Make yourself happy. Choose a direction that will lead you to happiness. Sometimes, that means starting over with a clean slate.


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

Thunder7,

Those words are incredibly true & painful for some of us. I feel like I'm in a VERY good marriage, but our sex life is just so infrequent (less than once per week), drab & totally stalled. I pray for my wife to sexually awaken, because the longer this lasts, the more problems crop up elsewhere (both of our self-esteems, confidence that she loves & desires me at all, patience levels, mis-prioritizing, lagging friendship, etc.).

Okay, so she's LD/ND, but she could do many things to increase or try to increase this. She does nothing, except try to appease me & offer "duty sex."

How does one awaken their spouse to this importance? I can't just tell her - I've tried that. She either thinks I'm full crap our just pathetically horny, I guess.

Sorry if I'm thread hijacking, but Thunder7's post really triggered something.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

The only thing I can say is marriage counseling. If both parties are committed to making the marriage work, both parties should/would be amenable to seeking professional help to get to the root of the issue(s). If not, then one side is not as fully on board as they are letting on. Good luck.


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## Elk87 (Oct 8, 2012)

Well, we did MC over a year ago, which also led to some individual counseling for her, but I don't think it had much long lasting impact. I hesitate to recommend it again because she feels as I do (like it didn't work/last). 

Plus, frankly, I'm tired of feeling like it's my problem. That I want to be intimate with my wife 2 - 3 times per week is NOT my problem, and I just don't understand how she can be so apathetic about it.


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