# Good-bye



## a_new_me (Dec 27, 2012)

Just read the new rules of the platform.

Been a pleasure. Be well all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What? what new rules did you read?


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

a_new_me said:


> Just read the new rules of the platform.
> 
> Been a pleasure. Be well all.
> 
> ...


What did you read and where did you read it?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

a_new_me said:


> Just read the new rules of the platform.
> 
> Been a pleasure. Be well all.
> 
> ...


Where can I get this information?

It sounds like something different from forum rules.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Does this have to do with the terms of use?

I scanned them and found a couple of possible concerns.

What are yours please oh poster with the broken ankle?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Does this have to do with the terms of use?
> 
> I scanned them and found a couple of possible concerns.
> 
> What are yours please oh poster with the broken ankle?


Where did you find the terms for use?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

EleGirl, the very bottom banner of the page has a "Terms of Use" link. ConanHub, what in particular did you object to (there is the normal -- we record your id, the IP of the ISP, and browser you use", but i think EVERY website does that for the most part now).


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Terms of use was what I surveyed. I'm waiting for the OP's concerns.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

If I was to guess I'd guess this:


> You agree to grant to TalkAboutMarriage.com a non exclusive, royalty free, worldwide, irrevocable, perpetual license to reproduce, distribute, transmit, sublicense, create derivative works of, publicly display, publish and perform any materials and other information you submit to any public areas, chat rooms, bulletin boards, newsgroups or forums of TalkAboutMarriage.com or which you provide by email or any other means to TalkAboutMarriage.com and in any media now known or hereafter developed. Further, you grant to TalkAboutMarriage.com the right to use your name and or user name in connection with the submitted materials and other information as well as in connection with all advertising, marketing and promotional material related thereto, together with use on any other VerticalScope Inc. web sites. You agree that you shall have no recourse against VerticalScope Inc. for any alleged or actual infringement or misappropriation of any proprietary right in your communications to TalkAboutMarriage.com.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

I can't wrap my head around this new format....Very hard to follow. I believe it is going to ultimately hurt participation.


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

I'm not going anywhere over a format change. It was a little confusing at first but I've gotten the hang of it. Been through a few before.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

How do you find your user control panel with your saved threads?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

This:

Further, you grant to TalkAboutMarriage.com *the right to use your name and or user name *in connection with the submitted materials and other information as well as in connection with all advertising, marketing and promotional material related thereto, together with use on any other VerticalScope Inc. web sites.

This is a little disconcerting. It may be a typical disclaimer but it reaches pretty far.


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## .339971 (Sep 12, 2019)

ButtPunch said:


> How do you find your user control panel with your saved threads?


My profile>latest activity should pull it up.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

ButtPunch said:


> How do you find your user control panel with your saved threads?


I THINK those are bookmarks now, BUT I never had saved threads in the old system...


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Further, you grant to TalkAboutMarriage.com *the right to use your name and or user name *in connection with the submitted materials and other information as well as in connection with all advertising, marketing and promotional material related thereto, together with use on any other VerticalScope Inc. web sites.
> 
> This is a little disconcerting. It may be a typical disclaimer but it reaches pretty far.


Yeah, that is a bit excessive.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Laurentium said:


> Ragnar Ragnasson said:
> 
> 
> > Further, you grant to TalkAboutMarriage.com *the right to use your name and or user name *in connection with the submitted materials and other information as well as in connection with all advertising, marketing and promotional material related thereto, together with use on any other VerticalScope Inc. web sites.
> ...


I think that using the username is not that big a deal since most here do not use their real name as their user name. It's certainly highly discouraged.

Also, for the most part, no one here knows the real name of other posters, or at list they are not recorded in user profiles.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I think that using the username is not that big a deal since most here do not use their real name as their user name. It's certainly highly discouraged.
> 
> Also, for the most part, no one here knows the real name of other posters, or at list they are not recorded in user profiles.


We're not using our real names because we don't want to be outed, this is a site to talk frankly. Or it was. l'm not worried about another user here finding out my real name but I believe we were required to give our real names when we registered, so these terms and conditions are removing the privacy aspect from this site. That needs to be changed or I'm going to be out too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Nucking Futs said:


> We're not using our real names because we don't want to be outed, this is a site to talk frankly. Or it was. l'm not worried about another user here finding out my real name but I believe we were required to give our real names when we registered, so these terms and conditions are removing the privacy aspect from this site. That needs to be changed or I'm going to be out too.


No, there was no requirement to give your real name when you registered.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> No, there was no requirement to give your real name when you registered.


In the old forum platform there was no requirement to give your real name.
There is no such requirement on this new platform either. Here is a screen shot of the new registration form...


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

I think it's against the rules to dox someone on this site (as it should be). Therefore it's odd that we're agreeing to the site itself doxing us if it ever wants to. Especially as most people are sharing very private things here. I would rather hear that the site understands the sensitive nature of topics being discussed and commits to respecting our privacy. Not that it can disclose our real name along with our posts whenever it can and it wants to!!!! Yikes.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JustTheWife said:


> I think it's against the rules to dox someone on this site (as it should be). Therefore it's odd that we're agreeing to the site itself doxing us if it ever wants to. Especially as most people are sharing very private things here. I would rather hear that the site understands the sensitive nature of topics being discussed and commits to respecting our privacy. Not that it can disclose our real name along with our posts whenever it can and it wants to!!!! Yikes.


Since your real name is not used here (I assume your name is not JustTheWife), how can you be doxed?


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Since your real name is not used here (I assume your name is not JustTheWife), how can you be doxed?


If they don't have our real name and it's not an issue it shouldn't be an issue for them to remove that part from the terms.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> Since your real name is not used here (I assume your name is not JustTheWife), how can you be doxed?


We're giving the site permission to dox us - that's the issue. With respect, the issue is not "how can we be doxed" How is anyone doxed? For starters, you have email addresses, no? I'll have to defer to a technology expert to comment on how a site operator can determine identity with today's technology and any future technology. But even just email address plus posts and PMs is gold.

Let's turn this around. If it's impossible to do anyway and crazy to worry about, why would this site explicitly make you agree to being doxed. It's not hard to imagine people and companies willing to pay for some indication of your identity plus all of your posts and PMs? Insurance companies, lenders, paid "look up" services, divorce lawyers, private investigators, etc.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JustTheWife said:


> ave t





JustTheWife said:


> We're giving the site permission to dox us - that's the issue. With respect, the issue is not "how can we be doxed" How is anyone doxed? For starters, you have email addresses, no? I'll have to defer to a technology expert to comment on how a site operator can determine identity with today's technology and any future technology. But even just email address plus posts and PMs is gold.
> 
> Let's turn this around. If it's impossible to do anyway and crazy to worry about, why would this site explicitly make you agree to being doxed. It's not hard to imagine people and companies willing to pay for some indication of your identity plus all of your posts and PMs? Insurance companies, lenders, paid "look up" services, divorce lawyers, private investigators, etc.


Definition of dox: search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the Internet, typically with malicious intent. 

The policy stated by VS is basically the same as is used by almost very forum (if not all) on the internet. I'm not defending this, just stating that this is the way it is. For this reason anyone who is concerned about this should look into how to become anonymous. 

For example, a good start is to create an anonymous email account for all your online accounts. Some people make one anonymous email account for each forum and/or social media account they create. Gmail, yahoo, hotmail, etc allow this. 

There are sites that tell how to do this.









This is how Facebook uses your data for ad targeting


You’ve got questions. We’ve got answers.




www.vox.com


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JustTheWife said:


> Let's turn this around. If it's impossible to do anyway and crazy to worry about, why would this site explicitly make you agree to being doxed. It's not hard to imagine people and companies willing to pay for some indication of your identity plus all of your posts and PMs? Insurance companies, lenders, paid "look up" services, divorce lawyers, private investigators, etc.


Just wanted to reply further to this. There is a good reason for a forum like TAM to not promise to protect all of the data a user provides to the site. The type of firewall that would be needed to prevent them being hacked is very expensive, far more expensive than what this site will ever generate in income.

Now, are they saying that they plan to sell whatever private data they have? Maybe. Maybe that part of how they make money off their forums. I don't know.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Since your real name is not used here (I assume your name is not JustTheWife), how can you be doxed?


Email and IP address.
It would appear from the recent influx of spam in my inbox that they very well may be selling our email addys.

Do you have a copy of the original terms of service?
Was this in the old one as well?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Email and IP address.
> It would appear from the recent influx of spam in my inbox that they very well may be selling our email addys.
> 
> Do you have a copy of the original terms of service?
> Was this in the old one as well?


I do not recall the exact wording of the original terms of service. And I do not have access now. I, and there other moderators, were not consulted or involved in the design, development, or deployment of the new forum platform. We are finding out about all this at the same time all other members are.


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Email and IP address.
> It would appear from the recent influx of spam in my inbox that they very well may be selling our email addys.
> 
> Do you have a copy of the original terms of service?
> Was this in the old one as well?


I've recently started receiving emails trying to get me to "renew my TV licence" (it's a UK thing) - they are not from the licencing authority and my licence has some months to run. Co-incidence?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@Yungster can you respond to the issue of the privacy terms for the site?


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## oldtruck (Feb 15, 2018)

a_new_me said:


> Just read the new rules of the platform.
> 
> Been a pleasure. Be well all.
> 
> ...





EleGirl said:


> What? what new rules did you read?


say elegirl's posts are discovered by a publisher, or hollywood wants to offer
her a contract to do a movie called elegirl, either way elegirl is going to make
millions.

TAM steps in and says we own the rights to that name, we will take the milllions
or they will not give permission to use the name elegirl, or her stories.

far fetched?

i have seen many posters told they should write books because they write so
well and had very interesting things say.


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## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Lila said:


> @Yungster can you respond to the issue of the privacy terms for the site?


Nothing has changed. The site has rights to what you post so that we can display it on the site. 

VerticalScope takes privacy VERY seriously.

- Cricket


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Betrayedone said:


> I can't wrap my head around this new format....Very hard to follow. I believe it is going to ultimately hurt participation.


Does this new format make things look different on phones? I thought my phone was having issues.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

southbound said:


> Does this new format make things look different on phones? I thought my phone was having issues.


I'm sure it does. It's built on completely different forum software then what was used to implement TAM before.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Concerns about the user agreement are a big negative to me as well. Why even mention names in the user agreement if the site doesn't know them? There may also be people who signed up with their real names, not realizing that they would not be kept private. Privacy is vital on a site like this - people's lives can be turned upside down by the release of information posted here. 

The new format has much more invasive adds for me - making it difficult to use. Perhaps it now bypasses the add blocking I use. I'd be happy to pay, but there is no anonymous way to do that. 

I am sorry to loose contact with a lot of friends here. I wish you all well.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

uhtred said:


> Concerns about the user agreement are a big negative to me as well. Why even mention names in the user agreement if the site doesn't know them? There may also be people who signed up with their real names, not realizing that they would not be kept private. Privacy is vital on a site like this - people's lives can be turned upside down by the release of information posted here.
> 
> The new format has much more invasive adds for me - making it difficult to use. Perhaps it now bypasses the add blocking I use. I'd be happy to pay, but there is no anonymous way to do that.
> 
> I am sorry to loose contact with a lot of friends here. I wish you all well.


What about using one of the reloaded cards. I've seen them sold at Walmart, Best Buy and even grocery stores. You don't have to use your name for those.


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