# Quick question for the ladies



## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

Hello everyone, I just had a quick question, I am planning on going to visit a friend next weekend for the first time, we met online ( cliché I know) and we have been talking every day for over 3 months now. She does get anxious an worried about being hurt and she is very nervous about us meeting for the first time. I just want her to feel happy and at ease, can anyone offer any ideas about how to make her feel less anxious, less worried about meeting in person ?


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## imhisbeautifuldisaster (Nov 15, 2013)

Soveryalone said:


> Hello everyone, I just had a quick question, I am planning on going to visit a friend next weekend for the first time, we met online ( cliché I know) and we have been talking every day for over 3 months now. She does get anxious an worried about being hurt and she is very nervous about us meeting for the first time. I just want her to feel happy and at ease, can anyone offer any ideas about how to make her feel less anxious, less worried about meeting in person ?


I met my H online also. We met on a silly chat room and just hit it off. We talked everyday for almost a year before we met, but we were serious about our relationship and were "dating" when we decided to meet. Now H lived in Virginia and I am in Canada, so our meeting was a country away. I felt very comfortable meeting my H. I was nervous of course, but more or less just wanted to see him. Is this more of a friendship or relationship? I think that makes a difference as you know what to expect. When I first met H, I was really nervous and he came right up to me and hugged me. It was nice. We didn't really ever have an awkward moment which was even better. Do you think she is ready to meet? Maybe 3 months is not enough? Is she pushing the meeting? Or are you? Give it time. Get to really know each other and let her come to you.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How are you getting there? flying?

Some things I can think of...

Start out slowly.. go someplace low key, like a coffee house to talk. This will easy you both into the idea of seeing each other in person.

Preplan some activities so that you are not wondering what to do once you get there.

If you don't know the area, check out Find your people - Meetup and find things to do. Also check the what's happening sites in her area.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also realize that once you meet one or both of you might find that while it worked on the internet it does not work in real life.

I've known people this happened to. They knew within the first half hour that they had made a mistake. Have a way out.

Do you plan to stay at her place? You can offer to go stay at a hotel if she's uncomfortable. Or if you are.

If have a friend call you with an emergency so you can have reason to leave asap. (I know a classic way to end a bad date).


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Meet her someplace public.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I would not recommend staying at her place. You have never met this woman before. Stay at a hotel. And I agree with Ele that what may seem cool online may not be in person...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Lol, Rowan. It's interesting reading this thread and the other one about the driving an dating at the same time.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

imhisbeautifuldisaster said:


> I met my H online also. We met on a silly chat room and just hit it off. We talked everyday for almost a year before we met, but we were serious about our relationship and were "dating" when we decided to meet. Now H lived in Virginia and I am in Canada, so our meeting was a country away. I felt very comfortable meeting my H. I was nervous of course, but more or less just wanted to see him. Is this more of a friendship or relationship? I think that makes a difference as you know what to expect. When I first met H, I was really nervous and he came right up to me and hugged me. It was nice. We didn't really ever have an awkward moment which was even better. Do you think she is ready to meet? Maybe 3 months is not enough? Is she pushing the meeting? Or are you? Give it time. Get to really know each other and let her come to you.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_



This is very similar to my story. Except there was an airport kiss that was amazing and he was a gentleman, carrying my stuff, opening doors, keeping the conversation going, etc.... It was awesome. I did have a Plan B tho. I was prepared to leave or at least stay somewhere else if it just felt wrong. Turned into a looooong naked weekend....Just celebrated 9 years together yesterday! 

Sooooooooo..... I'd tell her that if she is uncomfortable then you can wait to meet. Or meet somewhere neutral. (We met in a city halfway between our towns/states.) If you are not too particular, ask her what would be her ideal circumstance for meeting you....and do that. (If this seems like a real love interest) Going to her home might be awkward for her, or even her town..... some people are more uptight than others. 

If you are going with any expectation of sex, I'd let her know, out loud, that you can take that off the table. Maybe you'll get lucky maybe you won't.... I guess this all depends on what your motives are.


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