# Am I reading too much into this?



## Worried wife (Nov 3, 2019)

My husband and I have been married 22 years. Our marriage has had it’s ups and down and we got married young so I would say our immaturity lead to a-lot of our problems. I always felt that the reason my husband married me was because he was very physically attracted to me. I never really saw it then, I just knew he wanted me and would do anything for me. In my young mind I thought he loved me, which I sure to some extend he does. 

Fast forward 9 years. We have 3 kids. I find out that my husband has been looking at porn. While I am upset about this I realized that my lack of attention to him and my lack of sex drive did contribute to his actions. When we talked I told him I could not compete with porn stars and he told me he doesn't expect me to but that he is not as attractive to me as he use to be because of my weight. I was crushed. It made me look at our marriage and realize that he really didn’t seem enthusiastic to take me anywhere and on a couple of occasion when we would run into someone he knew he would never introduce me. 

I let this go goes frankly he was not a terrible husband just not overly affectionate and frankly would only become overly nice or affectionate to me when he wanted sex and I was more focused still on my kids. After the birth of my fourth and last child I finally lost all the weight and all seemed well. 

Well in the last 6 months I had a health issue and ended up gaining back 25 pounds. I am not feeling all that great about myself and frankly I am unsure if this is my unhappiness with myself making me feel this way or if it my husband comment years ago about not being attracted to me while I was heavy that is causing me issues.

Now that you have a little back ground, on with the issues. We went out a couple of weeks ago to a play. Went to dinner first, evening was going great. We were sitting in the theatre on aisle seats holding hands when all of a sudden my husband pulls his hand out of my hand with no explanation or reason and as I look up, coming up the aisle is an attractive woman. I instantly felt like he didn’t want this woman to know we were together, or that he is ashamed of me. Of course this makes me think of that comment and ends up making me feel like ultimately I am not enough or that his attraction to me is dependant on how I look and that worries me as we both age together about what is going to happen. 

I don’t want to jump to conclusions or say anything to him if this may have all been just a simple action. I have confronted him before about the comment he made but he says he doesn’t remember saying it and then reassured me that he is attracted to me but in an email he sent to me once after the first incident he used the past tense and said “ I do love you and found you very attractive” which i dismissed at the time but now it has me thinking.


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