# Wife having lunch!



## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I have posted on here before. 

My wife goes to lunch with a co-worker who is her boss at least once a week. They are both sexually attracted to each other and they have been going to lunch regularly for 8 months. Around November they started talking sexually to each other at work and through texts. 

I finally voiced my concerns and she said she would stop going to lunch with him. That didn't happened. She says they are just friends and that she isn't going to do anything. 

Well if this was the first time and nothing had ever happen then I would back off a little. However this isn't the first time and I'm not as trusting as before. She continues to see him and believes there is nothing wrong with it. She doesn't think that it's disrespectful or anything. It's her friend and she is going to do what she wants. Those were actually words she has said. She guess around at her job telling people I'm an a-hole because I bring it up every week but she leaves out that part that she wants to have sex with him. 

She has threatened me twice that should was going to do it the next time they went out if I didn't shut up and grow up.

I don't know but she has cheated before and she has walked our on our family before. I say our family because she left the kids with me and was gone until the other guy dropped her after he was done. I forgave her for that and the past is that past. All that's in my other post. 

Any advice is helpful. If important wrong and being controlling or an a-hole please let me know. 

By the way I do love my wife and she is the most beautiful women in the world to me.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

txcouple903 said:


> I have posted on here before.
> 
> My wife goes to lunch with a co-worker who is her boss at least once a week. They are both sexually attracted to each other and they have been going to lunch regularly for 8 months. Around November they started talking sexually to each other at work and through texts.
> 
> ...


They're f*cking.

Divorce.

ETA: Just found your other thread. Definitely file for divorce. ASAP.


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## NGWife (Sep 27, 2014)

I went through a similar situation with my husband last year. He left me for 2 months and started a relationship with her. They slept together. For months before this happened, they were texting all day and night. I begged him to stop and even blocked her number. She definitely needs to respect how you feel about this and stop.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

NGWife said:


> I went through a similar situation with my husband last year. He left me for 2 months and started a relationship with her. They slept together. For months before this happened, they were texting all day and night. I begged him to stop and even blocked her number. *She definitely needs to respect how you feel about this and stop.*


Yeah, but she's not going to do that. She does what she does because she knows that OP isn't going to do anything about it. After all, she did it before -- for years! -- and OP was all too willing to take her back the moment that OM dumped her.

OP, stop settling for sloppy seconds. Break the cycle and file for divorce ASAP.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

That's good advise!


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I plan on doing just that.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

txcouple903 said:


> I plan on doing just that.


I might sound callous but good for you, it's called tough love. You must sit her down and confront her and tell her that if she will not put an end to this inappropriate relationship (it is probably already gone beyond that) and if she will not respect you and her marriage then the marriage cannot be saved. If she refuses to see your point of view or change then you have little choice. I know this is probably so difficult for you as you don't want to end the marriage, it's easy for us outsiders to give this kind of advice as our hearts are not involved. But if she has no respect for you then what kind of future with her do you have?


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

txcouple903 said:


> By the way I do love my wife


I disagree. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself FIRST and you have some ways before you that becomes a reality.



> and she is the most beautiful women in the world to me.


Wrong. A truly beautiful woman would never behave in such an ugly and disgusting fashion.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

You misunderstood I do love myself. My Wife has problems that have nothing to do with Me personally. I'm very confident and I have high self esteem. 

My wife struggles with depression and has since she was young. She takes after her mother who had a worse history then she did. To her everything is normal.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

If you don't divorce her, you can always wait to see if she respects you more by the time the 3rd, 4th and the 5th guy show up? I'm sure things will be better by the 6th affair partner? NO?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

you "voiced your concerns"?

like the "concern" that she is in an extra-marital affair right under your eyes and nose and doesn't even care if you notice?

What you are to her is a reliable room-mate that provides free babysitting for her kids (yes I know they are your children too).

My advice? Lawyer up, seek divorce and find someone that will actually respect some basic relationship boundaries.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

So far it's only been one guy but I'm not waiting to find out if this guy is the second. I'm going to ask her to go through marriage counseling before I do that. 

Last time I tried to divorce her she tried to commit suicide. Was in a behavioral clinic for 5 weeks.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I also already have a lawyer. He recommended marriage counseling first because in Texas a judge will mostly order us to do that first. If I have gone through it with her before that then I look better in the judges eyes.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

Isn't Texas a "no fault" divorce state? I think what you may need is a new lawyer.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I'm not sure on that. I will look into that one on my next off day.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

You are to be commended for your efforts that helped your wife when she attempted suicide, they speak volumes of your character and humanity. Still, you mustn't allow her to emotionally blackmail you IF you decide that divorce is the right thing for you.

Unfortunately your wife is a cruel and selfish woman who does not care how much her previous betrayal hurt you and how much her latest one is opening old wounds. She cares nothing for you.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> Last time I tried to divorce her she tried to commit suicide. Was in a behavioral clinic for 5 weeks.


Did she actually commit suicide but was unsuccessful in killing herself or she simply made it look like she tried? Very different things and almost always the latter.

People like her don't commit suicide. They slowly kill their loved ones by holding them hostage. They're parasites. Your wife is a parasite. A cheating one.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

txcouple903 said:


> I also already have a lawyer. He recommended marriage counseling first because in Texas a judge will mostly order us to do that first. If I have gone through it with her before that then I look better in the judges eyes.


Eh... I don't think that's correct.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

She took over 20 tylonel pills ( I spelled that wrong ). Luckily my brother saw the open bottle in the living room. It had been only 5 minutes and I called 911. She was lucky she got help quickly. 

She had a therapist for a year and was doing better till I got a new job and we had to move.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Ditto on seeing her suicide attempt as a desperate attempt to control you. If she ever makes any threat of suicide, call 911 immediately.

She sounds personality disordered, possible Borderline. There's generally no fixing that.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Have to tell you friend. Your fault, your fault, your fault. If she did it once before without consequences then why not a second time or a third.

She makes a comment like the one she made about going through with it then you pack her stuff up, put it front of the door and let her know that she can screw him as much as she wants but from a different location.

She's got you in a real good hold and if it was me, I would let her know in a way she understands that you aren't putting up with her crap any longer and tell her that you will file this time and if she goes nuts over it then she's going to have a hard time seeing the kids without supervision because of her instability.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

6301 said:


> Have to tell you friend. Your fault, your fault, your fault. If she did it once before without consequences then why not a second time or a third.
> 
> She makes a comment like the one she made about going through with it then you pack her stuff up, put it front of the door and let her know that she can screw him as much as she wants but from a different location.
> 
> She's got you in a real good hold and if it was me, I would let her know in a way she understands that you aren't putting up with her crap any longer and tell her that you will file this time and if she goes nuts over it then she's going to have a hard time seeing the kids without supervision because of her instability.


:iagree::iagree:
Read "No More Mr Nice Guy"
TODAY!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

GusPolinski said:


> Yeah, but she's not going to do that. She does what she does because she knows that OP isn't going to do anything about it. After all, she did it before -- for years! -- and OP was all too willing to take her back the moment that OM dumped her.
> 
> OP, stop settling for sloppy seconds. Break the cycle and file for divorce ASAP.


:iagree:


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I agree with you because it is my fault. I gave in to all her demands because I was afraid she was going to take the kids from me. That was one of the main threats she used to get her way. All the advice I'm getting is really helping.


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## txcouple903 (Sep 29, 2012)

I agree with everyone. I just needed to her it from other people other then my family.


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## delta88 (Mar 9, 2015)

txcouple903 said:


> I agree with you because it is my fault. I gave in to all her demands because I was afraid she was going to take the kids from me. That was one of the main threats she used to get her way. All the advice I'm getting is really helping.


My wife plays this game with me. The kids are the first to go when it gets serious. Yet claims she would never stop me from seeing them. If you think about its easy to see we have allowed ourselves to be passive observers when being prevented access to our children. Actions like this are illegal and immoral but you can do something about it.

Hang in there, you're a great dad.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Well, a good lawyer will get the medical records introduced. While affairs only matter in specific states, mental issues can be show in custody orders. I am not saying it will work, but it may help.

Get a better lawyer.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

This template is getting old.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

OMG stop being a doormat and FINALLY divorce this woman!


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