# Ready to Live in my truth



## Llb84

I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs. I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man. This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness


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## OnTheFly

Out of curiosity, why did you have kids with and marry this man?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

It's best to make this tough decision to act sooner than later.

Sorry you're here, but welcome!

There are a lot of posts and forum members that help bolster spirits, help and share experiences and advice as you kick around some of the tough decisions in this process.

There is a brighter future for you. 

You'll move through natural grieving steps for things lost, begin to enjoy greater confidence as this moves forward, and look at the future getting brighter.

You have a good future ahead of you!

Ragnar


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## ConanHub

Llb84 said:


> I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs. I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man. This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness


Good choice!


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## personofinterest

OnTheFly said:


> Out of curiosity, why did you have kids with and marry this man?





Llb84 said:


> I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs.* I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man.* This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness


So to sum up:

Your 2 children are 8 years and 7 months. So since you have been together for a decade, you probably didn't know he had issues when the first was born.

The part I bolded, italicized, and underlined says you *RECENTLY* found out. So, if your youngest is 7 months old, that means they were conceived around 16 months or so ago (about a year and a half. At that point you had been married 6 months. Your husband may or may not have shown signs of betrayal by then.

In other words, you DIDN'T decide to marry and have kids with a cheater. You began a relationship with a man you thought was a good choice, had a child, stayed together, got married, had a baby, and then *RECENTLY* discovered he is not the man you thought you knew.

I just clarified because sometimes reading comprehension is an issue....

I applaud you for deciding not to put up with betrayal and for focusing on your children. I wish you the best of luck.


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## OnTheFly

personofinterest said:


> OnTheFly said:
> 
> 
> 
> Out of curiosity, why did you have kids with and marry this man?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Llb84 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs.* I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man.* This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> So to sum up:
> 
> Your 2 children are 8 years and 7 months. So since you have been together for a decade, you probably didn't know he had issues when the first was born.
> 
> The part I bolded, italicized, and underlined says you *RECENTLY* found out. So, if your youngest is 7 months old, that means they were conceived around 16 months or so ago (about a year and a half. At that point you had been married 6 months. Your husband may or may not have shown signs of betrayal by then.
> 
> In other words, you DIDN'T decide to marry and have kids with a cheater. You began a relationship with a man you thought was a good choice, had a child, stayed together, got married, had a baby, and then *RECENTLY* discovered he is not the man you thought you knew.
> 
> I just clarified because sometimes reading comprehension is an issue....
> 
> I applaud you for deciding not to put up with betrayal and for focusing on your children. I wish you the best of luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks Mom, but I did see the word “recently”. I was more geared towards the phrases “on again and off again for ten years” and “on going problem”.


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## Llb84

I had been in a 5yr relationship prior to meeting him. Had been single for about 3yrs meet him through my grandmother. We started as friends and later developed. I would day he totally different from what was use to and I have life a chance.


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## personofinterest

OnTheFly said:


> Thanks Mom, but I did see the word “recently”. I was more geared towards the phrases “on again and off again for ten years” and “on going problem”.


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## Llb84

It's slot of in between details I left out because I was trying to sum up the post we have been on n off because I leave after discovering the lies I walked into the relationship with the state of mind that no problem too big and I can help anyone, plus I had issues too(main reason why I tried to forgive and I stayed) I shortly found out about how deep his issues stem and they were there long before me but the image he displays is that he work through his issues and he doesn't have problem due to his foundation(childhood)


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## Llb84

OnTheFly said:


> Thanks Mom, but I did see the word “recently”. I was more geared towards the phrases “on again and off again for ten years” and “on going problem”.


It's slot of in between details I left out because I was trying to sum up the post we have been on n off because I leave after discovering the lies I walked into the relationship with the state of mind that no problem too big and I can help anyone, plus I had issues too(main reason why I tried to forgive and I stayed) I shortly found out about how deep his issues stem and they were there long before me but the image he displays is that he work through his issues and he doesn't have problem due to his foundation(childhood)


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## OnTheFly

Llb84 said:


> OnTheFly said:
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks Mom, but I did see the word “recently”. I was more geared towards the phrases “on again and off again for ten years” and “on going problem”.
> 
> 
> 
> It's slot of in between details I left out because I was trying to sum up the post we have been on n off because I leave after discovering the lies I walked into the relationship with the state of mind that no problem too big and I can help anyone, plus I had issues too(main reason why I tried to forgive and I stayed) I shortly found out about how deep his issues stem and they were there long before me but the image he displays is that he work through his issues and he doesn't have problem due to his foundation(childhood)
Click to expand...

So, to sum up.....(see what I did there, POI? Lol)

When I asked why you had children with and marry this man....the answer is there were issues early on (from both of you) and you had forgiveness in your heart and tried to make it work.

Fair enough, I appreciate the honesty.


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## StillSearching

Llb84 said:


> It's slot of in between details I left out because I was trying to sum up the post we have been on n off because I leave after discovering the lies I walked into the relationship with the state of mind that no problem too big and I can help anyone, plus I had issues too(main reason why I tried to forgive and I stayed)* I shortly found out about how deep his issues stem and they were there long before me but the image he displays is that he work through his issues and he doesn't have problem due to his foundation*(childhood)


Sorry, but you ain't fixing this problem.
It's time you "Catch the next train out".....


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## TJW

Llb84 said:


> I had issues too(main reason why I tried to forgive and I stayed)


That we have issues, too, is perfect reason to forgive, but not at all a reason to stay. I think now you understand. Your title is exactly right. Live in your truth, and welcome the improvement of your truth which will come.


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## NobodySpecial

Llb84 said:


> I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs. I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man. This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness


Good on you!


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## MattMatt

Llb84 said:


> I am a soon to be 35 yr old single mother of 2 beautiful children ( 8yr and 7months). My husband and I have been together on and off for about 10yrs and married 2 yrs. I recently found out that he had been living a double life between a single and a family man. This has been an ongoing problem for us and I have recently decided that I stepping away to focus on myself and children..... optimistic for a brighter future and pursuing my own Happiness


Well done. Better now than later with more water under the bridge.


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## Rubix Cubed

StillSearching said:


> Sorry, but you ain't fixing this problem.
> It's time you "Catch the next train out".....


 This tune should resonate with a lot of folks here.


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