# Need to vent, I'm getting madder than a wet hen



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Why can't my ex be polite and answer my simple text message. It's not as if I'm asking him to f_ _ _ me. I just want my cookbook that was given to me 30 years ago with ALL my recipes!

This is what I text:

Hi. Hope ur doing well. May we make arrangements so I can pick up my cookbook. Michele

What's so bad about that? What the heck is he so angry about? He's that one that cheated. Yes, I filed and divorced him but come on, he's 65 years old and should understand the rudiments of behavior.

If the situation was reversed, I would make an arrangement, leave it on the porch or wherever and not be home. 

I want that cookbook, guess I'm not going to get it.

Any ideas as to why the silence?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Based on your history with this man and the way he treated you, I wonder why you would want to to make any overtures towards him for anything worth less than a million dollars. you are giving him a chance to get you angry and hurt again all over a cook book. I'd take it burn it before bring the thing in my house if he had it. 

Turn over a new leaf get a better cook book browse in Williams and Sanoma there are wonderful well illustrated ones. Learn new recipes and let the past go. Don't contact him and ask him for anything. The best revenge is to live well. 

Ohh one thing you can do is to make him holiday cookies in the shape of the 3rd finger left hand with a liberal amount of dog poo. Leave it on the porch. 

I must warn you that I am rather vindictive when it comes to decievers and i can think of mean things to do. But is it probably better to leave as a fantasy. :{
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Control? Just doing something stupid to pi$$ you off because he can?

Hope you get your book back...really sounds just childish on his part.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Buy a new cookbook and start over. Sucks, but...stop dealing with him.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Thank you all.

I'm letting it go. It's hard because my sister gave it to me and it had alot of my mother's recipes in it and she's at an age that she doesn't remember.

But I did start a new one and I'll start adding to that.

Oh it didn't open anything that has healed, that's why I had waited but he is unreasonable and evidently vindictive. And that is his problem. Screw the stupid book.

Subject closed.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Is he still living where you used to live? Can't you just go over and get it when you know he's not home? 

Or if you don't have access to where he lives just go over and politely ask him for the book and SAY NOTHING ELSE. 

I guess it depends on the situation. I'd stop texting him though. Puts the power in his hands. Take things into your own hands or let it drop.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Hi freak on a leash: It was the first text/contact since early August that I made.

I'm dropping it. Guess it's a form of angry control but that doesn't matter what ex's headset is. I'm moving on from this, no big deal.

Thanks for the input.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

It's a control issuse. My ex would of thrown anything I wanted in the garbage. Anything to have control. I hope you get your cookbook back! I'd be devastated. I make up a lot of my own recipes, but I keep them online where it's easy access.

If you possibly don't get it back, allrecipes.com is a very good website and could very well have what your looking for.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

It's a shame he has to be such a penis head, it's your book and it has sentimental value and you deserve to have it. Personally I would work at getting it back but you need to take all emotions out of any contact, treat it like a business transaction, if you can't do that you may as well just let it go. 

Do you have anything to trade? It may seem silly but maybe there's something you took with you that he would like back. 

Or....hire a couple of thugs to go take it!!


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Dean: Thanks but there is nothing to win here. I don't understand the anger (he's the cheater & I divorced him, he didn't MC) but he ran away from everything. Perhaps, it's hitting himn now. But that is all his problem none of my business any longer. I dealt with my stuff and am moving on.

cooper: Nah, nothing to trade. It was even but in my haste to leave the torture chamber, I left photos of family (one of my dead brother) and this cookbook (and some other things. He stated he doesn't have the photos (fine my mom sent me replacements) & now the last thing the cookbook.

Perhaps it truly is a control thing. Whew...what a character.

Love to all of you.


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## cyan (Dec 4, 2011)

Well, I understand your anger and frustration. In the big picture though, it's only stuff.

My STBX has ALL of our Christmas decorations including the card list and addresses. So badly I want to storm over to his house and demand what's mine, but I won't. I realize it's only stuff and not worth it.

Why are they such a$$holes though? Amazing.


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## nowthinkpositive (Jun 18, 2011)

I always wondered why I would email or text my ex about this or that (while married and now while no longer married) and he would NOT RESPOND. Just no answer. Crickets. Always bugged me (and still does). Never realized it was about control. Just thought he was being a douc&e bag! Makes sense now.... he wanted the power to give me the virtual finger. I LOVE THIS FORUM


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## Lowlife (Nov 27, 2011)

I'm new here so I don't know everyone's situation, but from the perspective of the ex that never responds...I decided that a NC policy was best. We have no reason to communicate so I don't. She at times thinks we need to but there is nothing to talk about. I just want her out of my life and I have made that perfectly clear to her. It's not about control, it's about moving on.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Different situations. control, moving on, mean spiritedness. Doesn't really matter at this point. Just don't behave in the same manner: civility not anger or resentment: no longer feel that anyway so it's easy now. Not worth being anything but thoughtful, remember what goes around comes around.


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## Lowlife (Nov 27, 2011)

I know similar things are being said about me in regards to needing control. In our old circle of "friends" I have been portrayed as the bad guy. It has nothing to do with being civil or thoughtful. She's trash and I have no need for that in my life. She is most certainly finding out about what goes around comes around, not me. I'm reaping the rewards of being honest and hard working. 

My point is there are various reasons why people do what they do. It's best to just live your life and not think about what the x is doing or not doing. I'm not defending anyone just offering a different perspective.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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