# WTH with the friend thing.....



## whattodo17 (Jan 12, 2010)

So, 

Ever since he moved out he has been acting a little strange. He will find some reason to text me daily. Even if it's just a question. For example, I forgot to pack our daughters coat and got a text message letting me know I forgot her coat. Or, he will call me every now and then to talk...well he says he has a question yet that question turns into another question and then another. He is sooo hard to read! 
I will be picking up my daughter tomorrow and we were supposed to meet instead of one driving to the others house. Well, he then text me saying we can just meet up and have lunch together. WTH?! He has said before that he has no feelings and wants to be friends...he knows I don't want to be friends. What is this? Why is he doing this? 
I found it strange that when he came to pick up our daughter Monday and I didn't let him in that he said he had to go to the bathroom then stood around trying to talk until he could see on my face I wanted him to go. 
He was the one who wanted it over....he was the one who then wanted me out of his life. Maybe he thought I would beg? Maybe he's noticed I'm not laying around agonizing over his every move?


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## morningdew (Jan 14, 2010)

That is kinda strange...maybe he sees that you had move on with your life and he's starting to realize what he's missing? 
Whatever it is stay strong, if you had made up your mind to really move on then stick with the plan, I know it's hard and it is confusing when he's giving you mixed signals.


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

Well it sounds like he is second guessing his decisions. From what I have read when men make this decision (however irrational it is) they sometimes start to realize early on just what they have done and begin to wonder. It sorta all depends on you if you want your husband back or not. I , myself , as a glutton for punishment ; would like to go to counseling but I have been and was told I am not the one with the issues. Got to have a willing participant to make it work.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Please do not read anything into this. He wants to be friends so he is acting friendly--partly to assuage his guilt.

Remind him that you do not want to be friends. Always be business-like with him. Tell him you prefer him to be business-like, too, and if he has any shred of decency, he will comply. 

Good luck.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It's exactly what he said..."he wants to be friends." Sisters is right...it's part of the guilt and helps him feel better.

After 25 years of marriage, my ex wanted the same. I told him I couldn't at this point. He was upset. During the separation, he did the same thing...cooked dinner; hugs; said he loved me; chit chat. All the time, I was thinking he starting to turn around. No he didn't. He wanted a friend. Afterall, I was his best friend.


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

I agree entirely. It's just a way to make themselves feel better about what they are doing. I have decided to keep my distance and not make it appear to our children that mom and dad are "friends" because I think it would send the wrong message - that I'm ok with what their mother is doing to the family.


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## whattodo17 (Jan 12, 2010)

Well, we didn't go out to eat because his mom whom was in the hospital came home today. 
However, when I got out of the car he pinched my breast and grabbed his crotch and told me he was ready when I was. Real man here ladies! LOL
After I left he sent me several texts as to how he was going to "give it to me" on Monday. When I replied that I wasn't interested he then text back that if I don't give it to him he will go elsewhere. 

Thanks for the replies....you all are right...I guess I was trying to read too much into it. Just don't see how someone can go to being just friends.


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## Hurtin' unit (Apr 13, 2010)

Sorry to say it, but what a putz. I would tell him to go get it somewhere else, and to piss off. But being a guy, that's just what I would do. Does he just expect to be friends with benefits now? I think that if he was serious when he did that and said that, that is truly a sign that you should move on. I can't imagine saying that to my wife, even after all the hurt we have had. Nobody would say that to someone they love, only someone they wanted to control. 

Just what I would do........sorry you have to deal with that.


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## Carefulthoughts (Jan 21, 2010)

I read somewhere " saying we can still be friends is like your parents telling you your dog is dead but you can still keep it"


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