# Is this wrong or do I need to chill out?



## HiltonHonors (Sep 5, 2010)

We bought a house after lugging 25 plus years worth of stuff to the new house and working 36 plus hrs a week plus babysitting for my daughter, running all the family errands, cooking, cleaning, ect you get the point (very busy), I had not gotten our bedroom together stuff everywhere. Okay the point is I was up at 8am to get ready for my grand daughters birthday party we were having at our house, cooking and making stuff from scratch, she had spent the night and my husband took his work buddy, wife and whom ever else would follow into our bedroom as I did not have time to clean it before everyone arrived as I was still cooking. So I told him it upset me and his response was "thats what you get for not keeping it clean" am I wrong for thinking that is a bad response on his part?


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## frustratedinphx (Dec 29, 2007)

Ouch. That was kind of a zing. Maybe you might remind him that is "your" (collective) bedroom. Did he say this in front of everyone?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you're baking from scratch, you aren't lazy. Maybe your priorities aren't the same as his. Kids eat box mix cake, too, and it takes a lot less time. Most wouldn't know the difference. You didn't say how long it's been since you've moved. If the bedroom was the last place to get squared away, does that say something about your romantic relationship with your husband? Is he at liberty to put the bedroom stuff away? If so, what prevents him from doing it? What he said was a bit sharp, but it might be his passive-aggressive way of complaining about a larger issue.


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## bmd (Aug 19, 2009)

my wife & i recently moved also, but not with as much stuf as you have. she was putting stuff away as fast as i could bring it in. i would rather move one room at a time(bedrooms 1st) and put stuff away together. i just move the heavy things around, but not set any thing up, because it probably wouldn't be where she wants it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

we moved into our house 13 years ago and "our" bedroom looks worse then the day we moved in (alot worse). its simply not a priority with my wife, in fact i think she likes it that way. however, i dont so i moved out into another room. its a matter of priorities, living areas should be clean and clutter free for adults (imho). i dont know how long it has been that way but in my case (not saying its your case) all i ever get are excuses as to why she cant get to it to clean it. reality is there isnt any excuse not to clean it. also, i am not allowed to touch any of the crap and junk that is in there.


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## mommyof31982 (Sep 6, 2010)

yeah...my bedroom is one place I ALWAYS keep clean. that is my place to relax and ya cant do that with clutter.

Perhaps that was your husbands last ditch effort to tell you to make it a priorty. Although I indeed would have been peeved that he showed my bedroom to anyone clean or not- I just dont think guest have any right to see my place of solitude. I actually dont even let me kids in my bedroom.


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

It was a bad response.

Isn't it his bedroom, too?

Unless most of the clutter is yours then really he has no room to say anything such as that. Even then, if he's not helping out around the house with keeping things tidy - I'd say that was a low blow. 

I still occasionally get some zingers thrown at me from my husband - who is just as messy as me, but he likes to keep it "separate." So he thinks it's within his right to take jabs at me if I complain about how the bedroom is messy or the bathroom is messy.

"It's your makeup." or "It's your clothes." Used to shock me into silence - as I wasn't asking him to take care of those few minor things, but the other collective things (he and I both contribute) to. Now I realize, he doesn't see it that way. He only sees what he's done to make a mess and what is mine specifically.

I cleared that up quick. Especially when he lost his job and I was working full time while he sat around a dirty house and would invite people over. Now he cleans up a bit, but still not nearly enough for my liking!

It was nice of you to cook from scratch. My grandma does that for me for my birthday. Next time while you're cooking ask him to pick up some of the stuff around where he's going to show the guests just so it looks nice. Hopefully he won't argue with you. ray:


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