# Rolled out the red carpet, got the brillow pad.



## Mtbikethings (Dec 29, 2011)

Hey guys. I need a gents perspective on this. My W and I have been together for 10 years now. The first couple Months were great, the typical see whenever wherever thing now questions asked....but no BJ's. So I lived with is because she was just a great chick and I didnt want tO jeopardize things
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mtbikethings (Dec 29, 2011)

Doing these things from your phone has its hazards
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mtbikethings (Dec 29, 2011)

My wife and I had an amazing relationship, prior to us being married.
I received "pro" photos while I was on deployment, the whole nine... But now that we are hitched she puts no effort forth in trying to flirt with me. At all. I have told her she is It for me and I have made ever wish come true for her but I'm at my wits end with this, how long does a man go not getting what "he" needs outta the relationship and just keep bowing down?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

We fondly refer to this as the, "bait and switch".

How long do you just keep bowing down?

Until you decide that someone who isn't invested in the relationship shouldn't be 'It' for you, or ... put up with it for years, until she grows tired of having a doormat for a husband and starts looking for something different on the side, while you dutifully continue to provide security, stability, and a paycheck.

I'm summarizing of course, but that's how it will play.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Mtbikethings said:


> My wife and I had an amazing relationship, prior to us being married.
> I received "pro" photos while I was on deployment, the whole nine... But now that we are hitched she puts no effort forth in trying to flirt with me. At all. I have told her she is It for me and I have made ever wish come true for her but I'm at my wits end with this, how long does a man go not getting what "he" needs outta the relationship and just keep bowing down?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So - you've been together 10 years and only the first few months were good? Or did I mis-read?

Also - any kids?


----------



## Mtbikethings (Dec 29, 2011)

We have been together for 10 years, married for 8, and we have a 2 year old.

The issues really began when we got married, before that it was everything either of us could have wanted we were happy and the our sex life was healthy. Then once we got married it turned into me not giving her things she needed in the relationship which she translated into not giving me the things that I needed (not sure if it was a subconscious thing or not). We have since had many talks on the subject and I have (for the most part) fixed everything that she felt was lacking. In these conversations I have also expressed my concern over things that I felt were lacking, she generally just agrees that there are issues and then its forgotten.

I think in my original post I made it seem a lot worse than it is, neither one of us "walks on" the other, or anything like that but through all of the talks and me expressing my feelings over the subject...nothing has been resolved. We have a a generally good marriage.

One of the things that I said prior to our kid being born was that we needed to work on our relationship and sex life first just because once she came into the picture that would obviously bring its own set of challenges. She agreed and again in one ear and out the other.

I have just reached my wits end with the subject and had really no other place to turn. So I figured I would see if anyone had been in a similar situation.


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'm not trying to tell you that you have a bad marriage and that you should leave.

However ... if nothing gets resolved, and you both simply accept, or convince yourselves that you have a good marriage; you are setting the stage for a bad marriage, and eventually one of you will want to leave.

I have a very good awareness of what you are referring to, regarding things being discussed but not resolved.

It's toxic. Trust me. Refer to Nice777Guy's signature line.

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.” - George Carlin


----------



## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Look for the "married man sex life" blog. Google it. Start reading. It works. Not really about sex, but how to make your wife hot for you all the time. Sorta.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Start making yourself a bit more scarce. Start working out if you aren't already. 

Worry about yourself. Not saying you should ignore her - but show her the same love and respect that she's showing you.


----------



## Mtbikethings (Dec 29, 2011)

@nice77guy I have been doing that for about three weeks now. its obviously a very new tactic so we will see how it works.

@machiavelli I have read the blog a few times but just picked up the book. Lets see how it goes.

And finally @Deejo Man do I hear you. I have thought about walking away so many times. I just can't bring my self to give up, and now that our daughter is her its worse. Being the product of a divorce I do not want to take that route unless I have exhausted all my options.


----------

