# Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?



## Ano

My husband and I have used some toys for years so its nothing new. He even occasionally will finish me with my dildo if he can't hold up long enough till I get off.

Anyway, I've never owned the infamous Jack Rabbit...so I decided to order one. 

I told my husband and his response was "what if I ordered a fake vagina"..... I said "well I did buy you a fake mouth" (years ago I bought him a jerk off toy that was in the shape of a mouth)

I told him that as long as he's still able to please me, I don't care what he does.

He said that its not fair because I can just pretend that I'm into it even if I'm not horny...where as he cant fake to be into it if he got caught up playing with himself to the point where he didn't want it or couldn't keep it up when I want it.

I asked him if it really bothered him that I ordered one. He said "you can do whatever you want to do". I told him that's not what I was asking, I was asking if it bothered him. He never did end up answering the question but I could tell he was uneasy about it.

Sex toys have never been an issue with us..so why is this one making him uneasy? I didn't mean to offend him and I didn't think it would offend him considering we already have vibrators and dildos.

What's your take on your wife getting new toys?


----------



## Stonewall

Have absolutely no problem with it at all. Infact I bought all of the many toys she has. Id like to get her a sybian at some point but boy do they think a lot of those thiings.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ano

Stonewall said:


> Have absolutely no problem with it at all. Infact I bought all of the many toys she has. Id like to get her a sybian at some point but boy do they think a lot of those thiings.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The sybian looks amazing...but the price tag isnt so welcoming. Lol


----------



## geek down

everyone needs toys!!!


----------



## romantic_guy

We have many toys and I have purchased them all. If she actually took it upon herself to order one I would love it!! Don't get me wrong, we have a good sex life, but she is not the one who usually thinks about things like that. I would love to come home and catch her using it. Mmmmm!


----------



## PBear

I buy about 90% of the sex toys in our relationship (speaking as a man). 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ano

It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?

I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.

I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.


----------



## Thor

Two comments.

First, I would welcome my wife having any toys she wanted as long as they did not replace time with me. Using the toys during our lovemaking would be fine, too.

Second, perhaps this is more about his issues with staying hard long enough. As a man, it is devastating to the ego to not be able to stay hard. Once the difficulty starts during a lovemaking session, it puts a lot of stress and work on the situation to try to stay hard. My wife was very positive and supportive when I started having age related issues, but it was still a very difficult thing emotionally.

So perhaps your husband is reacting out of fears related to his own performance. He should see his doc for a good health screening because ED can be caused by things like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostate disease, etc. He needs to be sure there isn't something serious going on. If his general health is ok, a light dose of one of the ED meds may be what he needs. The pills can be split into halves or even smaller. They sell little guillotine thingies at the pharmacy which do a nice job. I like Staxyn, which is a form of Levitra. It dissolves in the mouth and it takes effect in 12 minutes for me. So it can be taken on the spur of the moment without planning hours ahead.


----------



## Ano

Thor said:


> Two comments.
> 
> First, I would welcome my wife having any toys she wanted as long as they did not replace time with me. Using the toys during our lovemaking would be fine, too.
> 
> Second, perhaps this is more about his issues with staying hard long enough. As a man, it is devastating to the ego to not be able to stay hard. Once the difficulty starts during a lovemaking session, it puts a lot of stress and work on the situation to try to stay hard. My wife was very positive and supportive when I started having age related issues, but it was still a very difficult thing emotionally.
> 
> So perhaps your husband is reacting out of fears related to his own performance. He should see his doc for a good health screening because ED can be caused by things like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostate disease, etc. He needs to be sure there isn't something serious going on. If his general health is ok, a light dose of one of the ED meds may be what he needs. The pills can be split into halves or even smaller. They sell little guillotine thingies at the pharmacy which do a nice job. I like Staxyn, which is a form of Levitra. It dissolves in the mouth and it takes effect in 12 minutes for me. So it can be taken on the spur of the moment without planning hours ahead.


It isn't so much ED. Though in the past 6 months we have had 2 separate occasions of ED, both times while switching positions. The first time I didn't say anything...and the 2nd time I burst into tears (I know bad idea..but I felt so unwanted..and I know that made the situation worse). I have noticed that now when we switch positions he is always stroking himself (he never did this before) and my guess is to make sure he stays hard cause he's so conscious of it. So I guess sex puts pressure on him.

But what I meant when he finishes me with my dildo is that he doesn't last very long. Never has and unfortianutly I don't think he ever will.


----------



## Thor

Sounds like some stress related ED. The meds help me last forever before finishing. Idk if that is a common side effect, but it is a good side effect!

If he starts getting soft the best thing you can do is something different. The worst thing is to put the spotlight on him being soft and then working to get him hard again. So just move on to something different than what you are doing at the moment. If you say anything to him, be sure it is something supportive about him. Never ever make it about your pleasure or your orgasm or his ability to please you. Make it about him having fun. So if he gets soft, your concern is that he still has fun. Convey that you have zero concern that you will have fun. Convey that you are having plenty of fun no matter what, and so it is not a "failure" or a "problem" that he is going soft.

I am sure that his ED has nothing to do with whether he finds you sexually attractive. It isn't that he doesn't want you, the problem is that he too much wants to please you. Perhaps your sessions are too much geared to pleasing the other person. You might try agreeing to each be more selfish, in that you are responsible for taking action to get whatever it is that you want. He is not responsible for you having fun, nor are you responsible for him having fun.


----------



## one_strange_otter

I would rather she use a toy than another man for her pleasure.


----------



## PBear

Ano said:


> It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?
> 
> I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.


Well, I for one won't be going out and buying her a dildo that's twice my size, as an example... Pretty much anything else is fair game. We've got a dildo (about my size ), a bullet vibe that she really enjoys (often while I'm inside her), a vibrating c0ckring (which doesn't get used much), and a rabbit vibe.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## StatusQuo

We have toys. I've bought most of them, H has but a couple for me. He's not fond of the idea of me using them when he's not around, but enjoys them together. The last one we got was a rabbit style, and he was a bit intimidated by that one because of the size of it, but quickly got over that.


----------



## Ano

Thor said:


> Sounds like some stress related ED. The meds help me last forever before finishing. Idk if that is a common side effect, but it is a good side effect!
> 
> If he starts getting soft the best thing you can do is something different. The worst thing is to put the spotlight on him being soft and then working to get him hard again. So just move on to something different than what you are doing at the moment. If you say anything to him, be sure it is something supportive about him. Never ever make it about your pleasure or your orgasm or his ability to please you. Make it about him having fun. So if he gets soft, your concern is that he still has fun. Convey that you have zero concern that you will have fun. Convey that you are having plenty of fun no matter what, and so it is not a "failure" or a "problem" that he is going soft.
> 
> I am sure that his ED has nothing to do with whether he finds you sexually attractive. It isn't that he doesn't want you, the problem is that he too much wants to please you. Perhaps your sessions are too much geared to pleasing the other person. You might try agreeing to each be more selfish, in that you are responsible for taking action to get whatever it is that you want. He is not responsible for you having fun, nor are you responsible for him having fun.


I used to put A LOT of emphasis on sex. I held it high on my list of importance in my marriage. 

About a month ago I was speaking with a friend and they made it aware to me that I put too much importance on sex. And this was true. I always wanted to have sex (and still do). In fact I get moody when I don't. 

I have since realized that sex is not as important as I held it. It is important, but it is not a matter of getting angry over when my husband falls asleep early or whatever the case may be.

I don't bring it up anymore. I can't even bring myself to hardly every initiate anymore because of those 2 occasions of ED. I wait for him to make the move. (Both times of ED I was the initiater) Which is usually anywhere from 1-3 days. Generally never more then 3 days in between. And when my husband leaves for work in the morning (he leaves the house 1.5 hours before me) I do my own thing. If and when he wants it at night, I'm always more then willing regardless of if I masturbate or not...a couple times I have not been able to cum due to this...and I did sense that he was a bit upset because of this...but he still got his.

Maybe this new me..not complaining about sex and simply taking care of my own needs is upsetting him.

I do agree that we focus maybe too much on pleasing each other instead of pleasing ourselves.

If he ever does have ED in the future. I will react differently for sure. I will be supportive and positive.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

It obviously bothers him. But he probably feels it will make him look weak if he expresses it, which is why he refused to answer your question. For me, I prefer to be the one to buy the toys. I suppose I would be ok with her buying a toy under certain circumstances. But if, for example, she bought a dildo that was much larger than me it would be pretty upsetting and disrespectful. But a toy that is primarily for clitoral stimulation I would be fine with.


----------



## Ano

WorkingOnMe said:


> It obviously bothers him. But he probably feels it will make him look weak if he expresses it, which is why he refused to answer your question. For me, I prefer to be the one to buy the toys. I suppose I would be ok with her buying a toy under certain circumstances. But if, for example, she bought a dildo that was much larger than me it would be pretty upsetting and disrespectful. But a toy that is primarily for clitoral stimulation I would be fine with.


My husband is well endowed. In fact when we don't have sex ..on my period for example...after its over and we have sex, if I go ontop, it actually hurts because it pokes me too deep. Same with doogy... but eventually I get used to it again.

If I waited for my husband to buy toys, it would never happen. We've been to a sex shop together like twice. I usually go with my girlfriends or my mom. He's just not adventurous.

I'm always looking for new ways to spice things up. After 5 years things get dull and sometimes you fall into a routine. I hate routines where as he is content with it. He doesn't like to put effort into it.

We had spoken about it so many times with no improvement. I even got to the point where I was totally honest with him and I told him that I did not enjoy our sex life and that it was just duty sex on my part because there was no connection. He got so lazy that he didn't even try to arouse me. Screw the foreplay, he just wanted to stick it in.

I'm sure I zapped his ego a bit with that. But he was not listening when I tried telling and begging him the nice way for months and months.

Since then he has made improvement and I definitely have made it a point to let him know how much I am enjoying him.


----------



## Inside_Looking_Out

Not a guy, but...

My husband has bought quite a few toys for me, and I have purchased quite a few for myself. You name it, it's in my toy box. lol

We have had a lot of conversations about the toys, and only once, early in our marriage, did he have a bad reaction to one of them. He was downright insulting about it actually, it was larger than him. After his reaction, I tried to always stick to toys that were much closer sized to him. 

Fast forward more than a decade later...he described a toy he wanted me to go purchase, and it was certainly girthier and longer than any that I had ever purchased. I was surprised by it, and very cautious. But, once we used it in the bedroom a few times, and no bad reactions, I felt comfortable enough to talk to him about it and how his reaction made me feel so long ago. He admitted to me that when he was younger, he certainly had less confidence then when it came to things like that. Nowadays, the enjoyment is in blowing my mind and him knowing that he can do that. It makes no difference to him how he makes my toes curl. It's just a tool to get the job done! He said he even gets a kick out of watching said tools of various styles and sizes in action. It's stretchy btw...it bounces back to size, and I have amazing muscle control to boot 

With all that being said, if he is good with using the toys during sex to assist...why not use them in the reverse order?! We do that all the time. He uses the toy on me to get there...and then to get me close to there again, and then he takes the helm himself! He gets excited and gets to anticipate, which makes it better for him, and by having a mostly clitoral orgasm for the first one, and then getting me close to a second one, when he takes over and we get in the right position, I can have a wonderful g-spot orgasm the second go around. And he knows, that is way more fun than any rabbit or any other vibe can do for me personally.


----------



## Dr. Rockstar

Ano said:


> Though in the past 6 months we have had 2 separate occasions of ED, both times while switching positions. The first time I didn't say anything...and the 2nd time I burst into tears (I know bad idea..but I felt so unwanted..and I know that made the situation worse). I have noticed that now when we switch positions he is always stroking himself (he never did this before) and my guess is to make sure he stays hard cause he's so conscious of it. So I guess sex puts pressure on him.
> 
> But what I meant when he finishes me with my dildo is that he doesn't last very long. Never has and unfortianutly I don't think he ever will.


If you felt rejected from ED, think how he must feel. Even if it's three or four times a year, it can be devastating for some men. And now you're buying another vibrator (I'm guessing you didn't mention it to him before you ordered--that may be part of his anger too). It doesn't matter if you have plenty already. It only matters that you bought a new one. If he can't pleasure you enough by himself and the toys you already have, I can understand why he'd be upset.

If I were in your position, I don't know if I'd return it, but I'd definitely not bring it out (for anything--not sex or masturbation in private) until he's more comfortable with it being there.


----------



## 40isthenew20

My wife has no problem with toys but won't buy them herself. If I order one, she's all for it. I just got the Wet Rabbit for her and a fleshlight for myself. Waiting until te weekend to break them out when we can have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves. I'm sure she'll think I'm a nut for mine, but why not? She can enjoy them and do can I.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ano

Dr. Rockstar said:


> If you felt rejected from ED, think how he must feel. Even if it's three or four times a year, it can be devastating for some men. And now you're buying another vibrator (I'm guessing you didn't mention it to him before you ordered--that may be part of his anger too). It doesn't matter if you have plenty already. It only matters that you bought a new one. If he can't pleasure you enough by himself and the toys you already have, I can understand why he'd be upset.
> 
> If I were in your position, I don't know if I'd return it, but I'd definitely not bring it out (for anything--not sex or masturbation in private) until he's more comfortable with it being there.


No, he didn't know about it. I told him after I ordered it. But all the other sex toys weren't discussed before I bought them. I just buy them and show him what I got.

The toys I have are getting boring...so I wanted something new. Especially since lately he's been finishing me with a dildo quit often, which is fine with me, but I figured id purchase something better for this occasion.


----------



## StatusQuo

We use toys first. I get mine, and then he gets his...


----------



## Ano

> We use toys first. I get mine, and then he gets his...


This is a good idea. Since he doesn't last very long, we could start with toys until I'm close and then we can finish together.


----------



## Stonewall

Ano said:


> It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?
> 
> I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.


No I am not the east intimidated by her toys or any that I have looked at. While I do have insecurities they have never been about any toys or any other person taking my place. Any insecurities I have are based in my on performance perfection expectations.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Stonewall

the size of any toy she bought would not bother me. as long as it pleases her I am happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sandc

romantic_guy said:


> We have many toys and I have purchased them all. If she actually took it upon herself to order one I would love it!! Don't get me wrong, we have a good sex life, but she is not the one who usually thinks about things like that. I would love to come home and catch her using it. Mmmmm!



Ditto for my situation. Pretty much the same attitude as my wife.

I don't mind them. I think if it got to the point where she couldn't orgasm with me, I'd not like them so much. And this is why she doesn't want to use them too much.


----------



## OhGeesh

You name it I've bought it.........medium, big, OMG, over $1k  only the best.

While it's always fun to add a little something.........she still says she prefers me and never uses anything unless we are together.


----------



## costa200

WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something


----------



## Ano

costa200 said:


> WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something


Lol oh come one! You've never thought about doing like double penetration to your wife?

Not like you and another man...but you and a dildo at the same time!?


----------



## Ano

OhGeesh said:


> You name it I've bought it.........medium, big, OMG, over $1k  only the best.
> 
> While it's always fun to add a little something.........she still says she prefers me and never uses anything unless we are together.


I do prefer my husband...

BUT...

I have to admit that since he's been finishing me quite frequently with a dildo lately....I am finding it harder to get off with him.


----------



## costa200

Ano said:


> Lol oh come one! You've never thought about doing like double penetration to your wife?
> 
> Not like you and another man...but you and a dildo at the same time!?


Not really into that. So no...


----------



## chillymorn

costa200 said:


> WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something


well all men think that they are the best lovers in the world.


and maybe you are but a vib on her clit while your banging her might open your eyes


----------



## Ano

chillymorn said:


> well all men think that they are the best lovers in the world.
> 
> 
> and maybe you are but a vib on her clit while your banging her might open your eyes


Men cannot vibrate. Mmmmmmm!!!


----------



## MaritimeGuy

If my partner showed up with a toy bigger than me I'd be excited by that. I'd love the idea of watching her play with it. I want to see her completely inhibition free ...not worrying about whether or not something is going to hurt my fragile ego.


----------



## costa200

chillymorn said:


> well all men think that they are the best lovers in the world.
> 
> 
> and maybe you are but a vib on her clit while your banging her might open your eyes


Maybe, but i can do it easily enough without the toy, so i'm going to keep all the thanks for myself.


----------



## Mavash.

costa200 said:


> WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something


You're not weird. I don't have any either. My husband is enough for me and I prefer to keep it that way.

I don't like vibes because then it becomes hard to O without one. Yes I've been down that road and won't go there again either.


----------



## Nicole01

We have a special fireproof locked boxed where we keep our goodies!

I love shopping at adamandeve.com. They have a 90 day return policy for any reason! Plus they give lots of free goodies too.


----------



## jlock111

Ano said:


> It isn't so much ED. Though in the past 6 months we have had 2 separate occasions of ED, both times while switching positions. The first time I didn't say anything...and the 2nd time I burst into tears (I know bad idea..but I felt so unwanted..and I know that made the situation worse). I have noticed that now when we switch positions he is always stroking himself (he never did this before) and my guess is to make sure he stays hard cause he's so conscious of it. So I guess sex puts pressure on him.
> 
> But what I meant when he finishes me with my dildo is that he doesn't last very long. Never has and unfortianutly I don't think he ever will.


Why doesn't he use a condom to start with? it will help him last longer, I know I have had my moments but when I am feeling like I want to last longer I throw on a condom that does the trick for me.


----------



## one_strange_otter

jlock111 said:


> Why doesn't he use a condom to start with? it will help him last longer, I know I have had my moments but when I am feeling like I want to last longer I throw on a condom that does the trick for me.


I wish it was that easy for me to get a few more minutes out of it. Condoms never slowed anything down for me.


----------



## Ano

one_strange_otter said:


> I wish it was that easy for me to get a few more minutes out of it. Condoms never slowed anything down for me.


Same with my husband. They don't make him last longer at all. :thumbdown:


----------



## Nod

I learned the hard way (no pun), never introduce anything larger than you!! Not only will her vag get loose, she'll start enjoying it more than you! That was an ex g/f.

My wife now prefers a rubber dildo & rabbit vibrator. In fact it has become increasingly hard to make her cum any other way, not that i don't try for at least an hour. She sometimes likes to read the kindle (erotica) as well while I'm down there. It all is pretty hot. I can tell when she gets to a steamy part...


----------



## Thor

one_strange_otter said:


> I wish it was that easy for me to get a few more minutes out of it. Condoms never slowed anything down for me.


A man's skin sensitivity reduces with age. I went from being too quick at 20 to being able to last as long as I want at 50. It makes me think that those desensitizing creams might help, but idk for sure because I never tried one.


----------



## OhGeesh

Ano said:


> I do prefer my husband...
> 
> BUT...
> 
> I have to admit that since he's been finishing me quite frequently with a dildo lately....I am finding it harder to get off with him.


My wife is much the same, but always has been it doesn't hurt my masculinity at all. My wife is very "clitoral" that's the key to everything with her. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times she has finished from just sex even her on top controlling it we've been together for over 15 years it's not for lack of trying ............lol.

She needs very direct stimulation.............I almost prefer toys we've got some OMG stuff and its' always a blast.


----------



## Clever

Not only would I be ok with you having toys, I'd take you shopping for them and pay the bill!

Sounds to me like something else is happening. Stress, emotional stuff, performance issues, etc.


----------



## Fight4IT

My wife love it when I use my fingers..she can go for 30 min or more with multiple O's. So I bought her a dildo/dong ?? Its penis shaped, contoured but flexible.(Silicone i think) I bought it without her knowing and she hated the idea when I showed it to her but Ive used it a few times now and she enjoys it I can tell but she will not ask for it or use it herself. My hands just need a break sometimes..lol


----------



## RandomDude

We currently have too many and she keeps wasting my money on them - and once, included certain toys I've banned (handcuffs/restraints). Our bedroom ends up being like a porn set if we take everything out too

She's the type to want to have someone to 'play with her' however, so it's not like having toys robbed us of our sex life. However, for other couples as it may portray a message "my toys are better then your equipment"


----------



## Jane_Doe

When H and I were dating, we were in different countries, and the flights he or we would take to meet up used to give him severe jet-lag, so he had a couple of ED issues from that. On one of our vacation/date things, he brought along a rabbit. Apparently the security guys at the airport who X-rayed his bag got a real kick out of it lol.

I did like the feeling of the rabbit while he controlled it and he seemed to have a great view while he was down there. I don't know where that thing ended up but as soon as he was back in action we really didn't need it any more. We joke about getting a new one, but man they're expensive, and he is just as good if not better at pleasing me anyway. I mean that loud, pointy rabbit-eared thing vs. soft, strong tongue action? I have to say the latter wins


----------



## anony2

I think when your husband asked you "what if I got a replacement vag?" he was telling you he felt replaced or that you liked the toys more than him. 

You have said yourself that he is using the toys to finish you off more frequently. So again, it is _replacing_ him (or how he would see it since he is feeling insecure about his abilities). 

I think that your husband needs more foreplay to start with and I also think that his feeling replaced would add to the ED. I would reassure him that you aren't getting the sex toy to fill in where he falls short but to continue sex play for a longer period of time for both of your benefits. 

It also sounds as if you are needing more foreplay also if it is taking you that long to finish off. You also might want to check into multiple orgasms so that would not happen.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

My husband has no desire whatsoever for me to buy toys, he'll let me do what I want of course ...but it seems he has a lurking worry I might decide they are better than him.... which is very very silly to me. As if that would ever happen.... Is he crazy!

It wasn't until 19 yrs into our marraige that I bought my 1st vibrator & dildo -feeling I need to give the poor man a break... when he couldn't keep up... then he turns around & tells me he still wanted me to come to him....every time. That was so freaking sweeeet.

Honestly... I didn't care for those much anyway, absolutely no comparison in this world to a real man! So it was music to my ears he still wanted me to bother him ! At least I felt invited. 

I think the only toys we'd get in the future are things we can use to heighten our pleasure "together"....we just haven't opened "this box" yet in our marriage. Maybe someday. 

Adam & Eve is a nice site though, I enjoyed reading the reviews on there before I bought my only 2 purchases. What an amazing selection!


----------



## anonim

I think every female should be given a dildo/vibrator at age 14.

It would go a long way to stop repression of sexuality, which would benefit them when they got older and their men too!


----------



## donny64

I love using toys on my wife, and REALLY love it when she uses them on herself. It's just a "thing" for me to watch a woman get herself off. If she's using a dildo, all the better! I'm not sure why, but early on in life I just had a belief that women really did not like sex, and only did it to please their man. So, the idea that a woman actually loved it, and would even please herself when there was no man around was (and still is) an incredible turn on for me. I've always dreamed of having "such a woman". Well, as I matured, I realized women love sex every bit as much as us guys do, but, the fantasy remains. And it turns me on no end to watch the W do herself with a dildo and have orgasms while I watch. Probably a top 3 fantasy that I get to actually enjoy on a regular basis!

We don't use them a lot, as we really just love to go at each other, but every few weeks or so, we'll bring one out. She doesn't use them alone much at all, as she prefers her own hands to going in the toy drawer and digging something out, but every once in a while, she'll do it just because it turns me on to know she's home alone, and using a toy on herself. And that in turn, turns her on.

I can't comment too much on the "size factor" because I'm fairly well endowed at 7" and 5.75 girth (measured while trying to find a toy to "take my place" when she was alone during her move). I never thought of myself as such, but the women tell me different. Yes, I bought her one...the "cyberskin dream dildo" which I thought would approximate my size by the description, but is a bit bigger. I saw that thing when it arrived and was like "oh, my god, it's close, but it's a donkey ****!!!" I had no idea a 1/2" difference in length and a 1/4" difference in girth was so...big! So I purchased a smaller one that is very close to my size. We've not used the smaller one. The big one is very realistic looking and feeling, so I tried that on her. And she loved it. As did I (using it on her, not on me, lol). I don't get worked up about it at all, and actually enjoy watching her enjoy an even larger size. But again, I'm not self conscious about my size, so take it with a grain of salt. If I was below average, I suppose it could bother me? I don't know.

We recently went to a high end sex shop where she lives. We perused all that was there, and she didn't seem greatly interested in much....until she saw the "we-vibe". It's a "u" shaped vibrater designed to stimulate the g-spot and clitorous at the same time, while the man is inside of her...giving him sensations too. I'd seen it before, but thought it too, I don't know, "strange" or "wild" maybe for her tastes. It looks a little "odd" shall I say? Well, she saw it and was drawn to it. We bought it last week. One of these days, when we can stop going at each other like teenagers, we're hoping to give it a try. Maybe tomorrow! We're also hoping it works as a "public toy" that she can wear while we're out, and with me having control of the remote. We've done that twice with a remote controlled bullet. She says having orgasms while people are sitting five feet away and unaware to what's going on is a tremendous turn on for her.

So, as to the "size inferiorority" thing, I can't really comment. Other than that, toys...YES! Together, and when she's alone. We have such awesome sex that I know they're not a "replacement" or a "substitution" from me, and it never takes away from us, so I have zero issues, and actually encourage them.


----------



## 2ntnuf

Ano said:


> It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?
> 
> I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.
> 
> I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.


Maybe he finally feels like the toys are more pleasing than he is?


----------



## 40isthenew20

Men should take a step back and come of their ledge if they feel that a toy is replacing them. Watching your wife use one on herself should be a huge turn on to you and she should reciprocate by using them on you, as well. 

I wish that I would walk by the bedroom one day and "catch" her with the rabbit I bought her. That would be better than using it together.


----------



## Dr. Rockstar

donny64 said:


> I can't comment too much on the "size factor" because I'm fairly well endowed at 7" and 5.75 girth (measured while trying to find a toy to "take my place" when she was alone during her move).


7" by 5.75"?

Pfft--amateur.


----------



## jelichmann

Clearly you can see that a lot of guys, if not the majority, are perfectly fine with sex toys.

But you underestimate the effect that ED or PE can have on a man, especially once a problem like that starts getting worse. For him, all of these inferiority issues that have laid dormant for so long seem to be bubbling to the surface. 

There are really only two possible reasons that he could be bothered by you buying a sex toy:

Reason 1. He doesn't like sex toys. This obviously isn't true, because he's used them on you in the past.

Reason 2. He is jealous of the sex toys because in his eyes they bring you more pleasure.

If your husband IS bothered by your purchase, which he clearly is, then obviously it's for the second reason.

Any updates on this? Has your husband tried things like Kegels or Jelqing to increase erectile function? There are certainly ways for a man to improve in that area, even the more...uh...seasoned men.


----------



## ladybird

I bought a toy. My husband and I used it a couple of times together, come to find out later that he had "issues" with it WTF. So i threw it in the garbage. My h would never buy me a toy


----------

