# Shared asset costs



## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

My stbxw is basically a dead beat at this point. Now among everything else, she is expecting me to pay the property taxes because I'm living at the house, she moved out 2 months ago. She won't get a job other than waiting tables 2x a week, has gone on state assistance, and contributes nothing to pre school or health insurance. She lives for free at a friends. The house is in her name and though we talk very day about our DD, she won't respond to any emails about money related issues. It's diabolical. I think it's part of a manipulative plan that if she doesn't respond I'll just pay everything 

House is in her name only, what's reasonable? I think it's a shared asset that should be split 50/50 in terms of maintenance costs as she will get tax refunds for it in the spring

Anyone else dealing with this?


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

She's not living in it anymore and from what you've described, there's little chance of her paying anything. So either you pay the taxes or let a lien be put on it.

Who's going to get the house in the divorce? If you are going to get it or sell it and split it, you definitely need to get the taxes paid. If she's going to get it, let it go and it'll become her problem.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Life aint always fair. Your wife has been living "free" for two months at a friend's house. That's not fair to her friend. Taxpayers are helping support your wife even though you work and she can. That's not really fair to taxpayers. If you get the crap end of the stick and pay property taxes on a house you are living in, I figure you have been exploited the least. Pay the taxes and chalk it up as tuition to the university of life.


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## Memento (Aug 23, 2012)

Linguist said:


> My stbxw is basically a dead beat at this point. Now among everything else, she is expecting me to pay the property taxes because I'm living at the house, she moved out 2 months ago. She won't get a job other than waiting tables 2x a week, has gone on state assistance, and contributes nothing to pre school or health insurance. She lives for free at a friends. The house is in her name and though we talk very day about our DD, she won't respond to any emails about money related issues. It's diabolical. I think it's part of a manipulative plan that if she doesn't respond I'll just pay everything
> 
> House is in her name only, what's reasonable? I think it's a shared asset that should be split 50/50 in terms of maintenance costs as she will get tax refunds for it in the spring
> 
> Anyone else dealing with this?


Hire a lawyer and let him do the talking.


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## Hermes (Oct 8, 2012)

Did she buy the property prior to your marriage?

Did you ever declare homestead exemption on the property?

Are you on the mortgage and note, and not the deed?

Have you had a MSA prepared? What is the equity distribution for the property?


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

You're the one living there.

Pay the bills or sell it.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Linguist said:


> we talk very day about our DD, she won't respond to any emails about money related issues. It's diabolical. I think it's part of a manipulative plan that if she doesn't respond I'll just pay everything


No, it is just like her recording your phone conversations, evidence. She does not want to give you anything in writing to use against her. She obviously knows what she is doing. If she does not want to respond to email, I see no reason you need to respond to her phone calls, unless it is an emergency with your child.



Linguist said:


> House is in her name only, what's reasonable? I think it's a shared asset that should be split 50/50 in terms of maintenance costs as she will get tax refunds for it in the spring


Lots of good questions above that you need to consider. 

If the house is a pre-marital asset of hers and you are not on the deed or the mortgage, in most areas it is _her_ house. I realize that you are living there for the sake of your child, but if you have no stake in the house, I would be looking for a new home of your own. Let her take the fall. At the least, don't pay the taxes and have the lein put on the house. She will not be able to sell without paying.

If the home is a marital asset to both of you, pay the bill to avoid a hit to your credit score. Take it as a lesson learned, but move forward to separate yourself financially from your stbx.

As I mentioned in another post of yours, you cannot control her actions. Stop worrying about what she does and worry about what YOU are doing. Don't enable her any more. At the rate you are going, you will never get anything done towards your divorce since you are constantly _waiting on her_. 

Again, I recommend you retain a lawyer to get you primary custody of your child and write you a bullet-proof document. File with the court, regardless if she likes it or not. She is no dummy and she is JUST allowing you to take care of her problems.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Is there any equity in the house that you can pull out somehow? Alternatively, talk to a lawyer and see if you can get something set up where payments you make now will come out of her part of the asset distribution when it happens. 

You do have a lawyer, right?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

It's all in her name.

There are some good responses and I thank you all. We have an agreement on custody and she is ready to sign a legal document on it, or so she says. Regardless she has agreed to it on q signd paper with witness whih i kno isnt binding but she has also agreed in email on many occasions. All good evidence although not a deal sealer.

I'm standing up to her now finally, we will see how that goes tomorrow when I tell her I'm not paying her bills. I really have nothing to worry about in my opinion. She can't threaten custody as I've been a superbly involved father and shed have a hard time explaining that to family and friends, besides even the multiple lawyers I interviewed all said she wouldn't end up with it. 

As for CS, she has chosen to not get a job and go on assistance, she will be pressed by the state to answer why eventually, and she gets money from school in the form of living expenses as well as her one or two days a week waiting tables. Regardless, at 50/50 custody and her income being average college graduate plus some, my CS should be affordable. 

Our assets are minimal, it's a question of if I want the house, which I haven't decided on. It's in her name nd I guarantee you if it was in mine she would stick me for all she could, so I don't feel bad about any decision I make.

What I'm not going to do is pay her bills anymore, but she can't afford a lawyer and she wants out fast and cheap with as much CS as possible. If she files alone, that will extend the process and get costly. We can file jointly once and get it over and done cheap and fast if we agree on everything 

It feels [email protected] fantastic to finally be out of the fog of emotional abuse and stand up for myself.


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