# The Big Talk



## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

So I'm planning the big talk but probably above all else he doesn't like 'upset'; which of course is entirely down to his definition. So how can I broach all I need to ... who (or maybe both of us) is the more toxic, where did it go wrong and can it be put right, is he prepared to go to counselling, does he really want to be with me or is it just our son, blah blah (not bored, just frustrated)..????? How can I do this without it being 'upsetting'?


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## Brioli (Sep 6, 2010)

searching for your posts....cause I don't have a clue what is going on....:scratchhead:


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

Brioli said:


> searching for your posts....cause I don't have a clue what is going on....:scratchhead:


Ok sorry it's a long story & I was trying to avoid yet another thread being ignored! If possible, just take the post for what it is. A couple who are very near the end of the road but she (I) is in doubt about how to approach the decision-making conversation because his first comment is likely to be I don't want any more upset... ie '...whatever you're going to say will cause me stress so I'll be on a hairtrigger as soon as you start...'

Yet I've got constructive as well as sad things to say, I now realise stuff about toxic relationships, being made to feel you're the one at fault, etc., etc., yet really do think in theory we have a future IF he's prepared to put in the work on his oversensitivity. That's not to say I'm perfect, but honestly I do think most of our problems have hinged on his reactions.


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