# Should I stay or should I go?



## marriageordisaster (Feb 10, 2015)

i rewrote this to cover more of the picture.


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## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

You're a military guy. What did you do before you started blowing **** up? You got solid, reliable intel. If it were me I'd want to know what I was up against. If it's ends up being nothing, let it go. If it's what you fear, blow **** up.

For what it's worth I think you've got two other problems. 1) You swept what was/is your wifes affair under the rug and kissed her ass. 2) You may want to consider that you're a "nice guy". I don't have the links to a couple of books (easy reads) but I'm sure others can provide them. No More Mr Nice Guy. & Married Mans Sex Life Primer. 

I wish you luck. And thank you for your service.

~ Passio


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

I am one for trusting your gut feeling. 

You have a history of rug sweeping with your wife. Has she really had to come clean about her actions with this other guy? You took his word that it was just an EA and when you confronted her about it _she got upset at you being embarrassing for calling the guy *she was sending half-nude pictures to*. _

Then she got to put a list down of things she wants you to do to change?

What about your demands? What changes have you asked of your wife, if any at all?

Earlier you also said:



> I told her if she has cheated on me I can forgive, despite the movies that will go on in my head. I have plenty of that from my military service.


Followed up by:



> ...guess my underlining question is, am I being ridiculous in thinking she is doing something behind my back. I dont want to get a key logger or a vr, I feel if I need to go that far it might as well be over anyways.


So you were willing to forgive her then but not now. But you also didn't have her come clean about anything. So why would she change her behavior (outside of being even sneakier with her cheating) if you already told her you would forgive her for it?

You are all over the place on where the 'line' is.

What reading have you done on this forum so far?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

why the crap was she sending him photograph!?


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## marriageordisaster (Feb 10, 2015)

I have been kissing her ass, I think it is about to stop however. All I think about now is divorce, and how I am unhappy. Its not even truly about her as much as its about me. I dont even know if I care anymore. I know I love her but this **** is killing me either way. I made a few demands of her that she has followed through to the T. Last time I went through her phone she had sent a text msg to her friend telling her that she is done with this ****. Her friend said to her that I am just insecure and dont know what I am talking about. The messages were pretty clear, even the deleted ones. She went on saying that if I dont stop acting like she is cheating she is going to do what I keep accusing her of. I used forensic explorer to read everything she has deleted. I am going to read the two books recommended prior. I wont be a door mat, but if this continues I might stoop to her level and prove a point by screwing her friend. I have never cheated on her but this crap is making me think of it pretty bad.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

First of all...thank you for your service. 

Second, now that you have made the changes you need to follow through with them from this day forward. In short, your W might believe this new you will dwindle to the old you. She wants to be prepared for that. 

Third, the pictures and OM. What gives? You ask point blank if he is banging your W. Of course he will say no. Did you ask him why your W was sending pictures? Did you ask your W why the sending of pictures? It appears this portion of the strife was swept under the rug. All fingers were pointed at you as the problem and you changed. But all along your W is sending pictures, caught and did not suffer any consequences. See what is wrong with this portion of the entire picture?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

yeah - what did each of them say about the racy pictures she sent him????

Without any other solid evidence, this is what I would have nailed both of their a$$e$ to the wall with!!!


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I hate to use military terminology, but in this case you know what i mean, you are in a losing battle to keep this marriage afloat if she is not 100% committed...no one person can keep a marriage together if both parties are not committed, by your own words and apparently hers she has one foot out the door. you will end up driving yourself crazy, you will end up no good to your children, but more importantly to yourself...some where deep down inside of you, you know that she is not someone you could ever trust completely, there are beautiful woman out there that you could trust, you could have a future with and build a life together, she is broken, do not allow her failures bring you down to her level, rise up and take command of your life and your kids life....and walk away...if she follows make sure she is following for the right reasons and not the wrong ones. good luck


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