# Not sure anymore....



## Lucky1126 (Aug 7, 2011)

Hi. I have been married for almost 4 years (next month) and we have a child who will be 4 next month. We have known each other for 10 years. We were seperated for a year and a half and got back together. Now I am questioning why I even missed him or if i just missed having someone sleep in the same bed. I started thinking this about 2 weeks ago. I went and visited my parents for a week and half and during that time he barely spoke to me. He saw us once. When he picked me up and got home we talked for a little bit because I felt something was wrong but he just keeps telling me that he is tired, busy at work and stressed. I understand all of this because his job can be hard. Well since I didn't get to see him much the other night I wanted to sit next to him while he watched tv and I was going to read my book, well he got up and sat somewhere else. It hurt my feelings but I didn't say anything but it shocked me because he normally doesn't act that way. Another day went by hardly said a few words to each other. This morning I get up and I look through his phone. I've been doing this since we got back together because the girl he was seeing tries to cause problems with us. Well I didn't see anything that was suspicious. I accidentally hit his internet button and found that he has been looking at porn. I really don't care about that but it hurts my feelings because of the way he is treating me. We do not have sex awhole lot but when we do it's great. We share a room with our child and live with his parents so privacy is something that just doesn't happen. He seems really distant. When we don't have our son we might have sex once during the weekend. What bothers me is when we were seperated I had sex a lot with the person I was seeing and I don't with my husband. I masterbate more than we have sex. There is so much that I am just tired of with him. We have gone to counseling and it didn't help at the time because I didn't want to forgive him. I really feel like I have a roommate that sleeps in the same bed with me. Ugh, I'm really not even sure what I am asking for. I just know I need some advice. I'm tired of feeling lonely.


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I think if your living arrangement were different, so might be your relationship... I can only guess, though. I would give it some time, and I think you should talk to him openly and honestly... even if he isn't reponsive, it may give him something to think about.

If you can't or don't want to forgive him then there isn't anyway things are going to improve. You BOTH have to want to make this work, and you BOTH have to put forth the effort.


----------



## Lucky1126 (Aug 7, 2011)

Sometimes I feel they would be better if our living arrangement were different but we can't help that right now. He shouldn't take his frustration out on me. We ended up talking last night, not sure what good it will do but I was honest about how I felt and of course I already knew his answer. I'm just not sure if I got through to him. I always feel better after telling him but he just seems like he is dodging what he really wants to say or doesn't know how to say what he wants. I am a very open and honest person with him and I wish he could feel the same way. He has said numerous times he wants to get help but he never gets any. I've been to therapy by myself and came out so much better, stronger and happier. I try to give him tips that I learned but that doesn't seem to help either. But, maybe our talk last night had some kind of effect on him...maybe i'll see a slight difference when he comes home tonight.


----------

