# I have nothing left!



## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

It has been a very long road for me to come to this. My marriage is over and I am no longer hopeful that things will ever change or can be fixed. It has gone on way to long. I am to the point where I no longer want to be around my husband. I am so disgusted by him, being around him makes me ill. I am sorry for bringing a precious, innocent child into this mess. I had no idea any of this would happen, if i would have, i never would have gotten pregnant. I have become very bitter and angry, this is not the person I am.

As much as I loved him once, I would have done anything for him. I am afraid there is nothing left I have left to give. It has been a very long process, trying to fix my marriage for the last 2 and a half years, countless nights of crying my self to sleep, depression, heart break, sleepless nights, emotional torment and psychical pain just wanting to die because the man i was so in love with wanted nothing to do with me. There is no hope left.

I still don't know what in the hell happened and I probably never will. He has caused me so much pain I am numb. Enough is enough


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

While I applaud you for this decision, I'm so sorry you are in this situation 

It won't be easy...but you tried and got no response. Why stay when he doesn't give a rats arse? 

I'm sure you'll get his attention though when you say you're leaving...


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## Jwayne (Dec 4, 2011)

lady bird: Life is too short to have to deal with the kind of pain and sadness you are experiencing. Get away and find some happiness.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

that_girl said:


> While I applaud you for this decision, I'm so sorry you are in this situation
> 
> It won't be easy...but you tried and got no response. Why stay when he doesn't give a rats arse?
> 
> I'm sure you'll get his attention though when you say you're leaving...


I think it will be easier then living my life like i have been the last couple of years, to be free and way from him.

I don't think he will care much when i do walk out the door. I want to be out of here by the beginning of next week. I still have to call my mom and talk to her about me and my son staying with her and her hubby.

I haven't been talking to him at all, when he leaves for work i don't kiss him goodbye and I haven't answered the phone when he called today. So i think he knows i am serious this time, and if he doesn't oh well.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

Don't put off the call to your mother. Your son needs a happy, stable mom. Take care of you.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Jwayne said:


> lady bird: Life is too short to have to deal with the kind of pain and sadness you are experiencing. Get away and find some happiness.


I totally agree. You can only be broken so much before you wake up and realize you deserve a whole lot better then what you are getting.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Sorry...


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

It is only the end of one chapter of my life, and the beginning of another. I am not afraid to be alone.. I haven't been alone since I was 14 years old! 

I tried to make things better to what it used to be like, but i have failed in doing so.. I can't say that I just gave up at the first sign of trouble because I didn't. I have struggled for the last 3 years. The first time I thought about divorce was last year.

I won't make the same mistakes again that I did this time around. I was young and dumb and maybe a little nieve. I married a man after only 8 months, but for a lot of years it was great. Maybe i was blind and didn't see it or didn't want to see it. 

We were happy once, once apon a time.. I though I had found my happy ending fairy tail that you read about when you are a kid. Then you walk into a nightmare and all you can do is look to the past to find some type of happiness, because that is all you have left, are memories. 

I never thought that this would ever happen to my husband and I, (who really does) Then something changed, what I am not really sure what exactly.. The only thing I can think of is we had a child.. Things started changing while i was pregnant.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Two of my friends' husbands became assh0les when the kids came.

One is planning to leave her man beacuse of it too.

The babies were planned, so they don't know what the problem is.

I wish you well!


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Lady bird how old are you. How did u and your husband become so distant
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

par4 said:


> *Lady bird how old are you. *
> I am 33, will be 34 in July
> 
> *How did u and your husband become so distant.*
> ...


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Two of my friends' husbands became assh0les when the kids came.
> 
> One is planning to leave her man beacuse of it too.
> 
> ...



Ours was planned also, getting pregnant was somewhat of a shock though. After alot of years trying to get pregnant. We finally gave up. Then 3 months after my 30th birthday i found out i was pregnant. At that point i was fine If i didn't have kids, then bam i find out i am pregnant..


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Some men have a hard time with their wife being pregnant. I did and she was pregnant 4 tTimes. But after each we did resume normal activities. You are young enough to kind of start over. Do you feel this way
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

par4 said:


> Some men have a hard time with their wife being pregnant. I did and she was pregnant 4 tTimes. But after each we did resume normal activities. You are young enough to kind of start over. Do you feel this way
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know if i want to start over. I mean my son is 3 years old and he will be my top priory. Dating scares me a lot

Things never got back to normal, things have gotten worse.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

He called before i went to the store today, I answered it, wanted me to call him when i got home.. I didn't call him back when I got home, so he called back.. Asking why I didn't call him.. WTF. He is being overly nice and it pisses me off, he is usually an A**. But as soon as i say I am done he goes and does this crap. Then at the end he says I love you. Yeah freaking right, my a**. I almost said whatever. but he was at work and i didn't want to cause him to have problems there.

I really haven't said much to him since Sunday.

I think when he gets home tonight we are going to have a talk, (once i get our son to sleep, if i am not to tired.) and tell him that I am leaving. And if he doesn't like it he can F off. It's a little to late for I'm sorry. I know that if i do stay (again) that it will all end up in the same exact spot 6 months from now anyway..

Sorry i am venting...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

So very sorry LadyBird... you deserve happiness, someone to love & receive his love in return, someone who needs as you need, and to care for you. I hope you find (again) in this lifetime if this is what you thirst for, never give up hope, no matter how tragic the 1st loss. You have likely been grieving for 2 yrs now ----it is time for a new chapter. Hold your little boy tight. 

YOu are going through the darkest hour now... but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> So very sorry LadyBird... you deserve happiness, someone to love & receive his love in return, someone who needs as you need, and to care for you. I hope you find (again) in this lifetime if this is what you thirst for, never give up hope, no matter how tragic the 1st loss. You have likely been grieving for 2 yrs now ----it is time for a new chapter. Hold your little boy tight.
> 
> YOu are going through the darkest hour now... but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.


Thank you!!

For the longest time, I thought it was me. I rally did. That i wasn't good enough, I was getting to old for him. It has been complete chaos for me the last 2 years. I lost all self-confidence for a time.. I realized that it is not me, It's him and he is selfish and doesn't care about anyone but Him.

I have regained some confidence in my self again. not much but it is there.. I am not going to mope around the house, like i used to. I am going to hold my head up high and move on.. And try not to be miserable, because i am miserable now.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

And buy some cute undies and do yourself up


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

humanbecoming said:


> Ladybird,
> 
> Hold fast to that hope that things will get better! You deserve to feel like you have grabbed life by the horns, shaken it until it cried uncle, and stood victorious
> Over it! You have created a child. From your body, new life emerged. No man can do that. A new generation continues because of YOU!
> ...


Thanks. I really needed to hear that. Not that it gave me a big head or anything :smthumbup:


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I don't know your whole story but I can relate in terms of my exH. There's only so much you can do and there is a time when you realize that a marriage has to include two people. You can't do it yourself. My self esteem was so eroded by my ex's lack of interest in me, and outright emotional abuse. It's a hard road and a long process to get through but you deserve to be happy and feel good about yourself! Best of luck to you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Well. I told him that I wanted to talk to him when he got home about a few things.. He he flew off the handle, again!! Now i am ****ing the neighbor.. WTF really, that is all he could come up with.. That is the obvious reason i want to leave him, he hasn't done anything wrong!!! WTF is wrong with him.. He won't take responsibility for anything nor is he accountable for anything he does..He said he was going to call the cops if i didn't answer the phone to him, and tell the cops i kidnapped our son.. He is ****ing insane..

My feelings are petty and stupid!!

I called my mom after i got off the phone with him. She is going to talk to her hubby about me staying there.. I can't take this crap anymore.. I shouldn't have to.. He just keeps going at it, like everything is my FAULT!!!!

I just hope that i don't give in again. IT will be just the same old **** 6 months from now... and 6 months from then and so on and so fourth.. Then he said he sold his computer for 50 bucks.. RIGHT.. Its not the computers fault.. All because of me... he says..

Do you see blameshifting, or is it just me.. Trying to make me feel guilty?? Well i have nothing to feel guilty about.. I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

You need to get away from him quick.


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## lovinmyhubby223 (Jan 31, 2012)

Ladybird, OMG! I can feel your pain in just those few beginning paragraphs. It brought tears to my eyes. Bless your heart, no one should go through life feeling that bad. If you’ve done all you can do and he is still unresponsive then the problem lies with him not you. You need to move on and find the happiness that you deserve. 

And let me tell you from experience that your child will come out less scathed from your separation than he would if he grew up in a home with parents who don’t get along. A lot of people think that they should stay together for the children but I disagree. People can pretend all they want but the children know, they can feel the loss of love and even hostility between their parents when it’s that bad. Then before you know it your problems are affecting the child. Unlike love hatred and animosity are contagious. Even if you’re the happiest of jolly fellows if you live with those negative energies on a daily basis pretty soon you’ll find you too are nothing but negative.

My heart goes out to you. I know how it feels to love someone so deeply only to have them give you an “I’m sorry” with the blank look on their face like your just some stranger on the street that they’ve bumped into.

Good luck to you and I do hope everything works out. Keep your chin up!


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

My heart goes out to you LB. No one wants to be in that situation. The most important thing is that you take care of your child and yourself. It doesn't seem logical how couples who were once much in love and would do anything seem to go 180 and do exactly what will break up a marriage and then claim its the other person's fault. Dating is scary, starting over is scary. Take slow and concrete steps to resolve the current relationship, heal and move on. There are plenty of good men out there that will not look at your son as an obstacle to a relationship. Good luck!


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

phantomfan said:


> My heart goes out to you LB. No one wants to be in that situation. The most important thing is that you take care of your child and yourself. It doesn't seem logical how couples who were once much in love and would do anything seem to go 180 and do exactly what will break up a marriage and then claim its the other person's fault. Dating is scary, starting over is scary. Take slow and concrete steps to resolve the current relationship, heal and move on. There are plenty of good men out there that will not look at your son as an obstacle to a relationship. Good luck!




No doubt on that, any good man would see your son as another part of you, another part to love and cherish......

good luck to you, you should be so very proud of yourself, Taking care of you, scary and exciting all at the same time
, beginning a new life, fresh start, so many good possibilities....


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Is it just you? NO!!!!!!! He's nutty, psycho, wrong, trying to keep it from being his fault. I suggest when
you leave taking all your important papers:taxes, birth certificates, everything. If you can't take all
your stuff take pictures of everything of value and make a written list. Let him know that you did this after you are gone. 
If you have anything fragile that is irreplaceable take it with you. 
People like this escalate more when you are leaving. That way he can't break it, throw it away, destroy it, or sell it. 
Prepare yourself legally and financially. Look into legal help, legal aid, counseling, and protect your finances. Apply for child support ASAP. 
He sounds like the type who is going to make this ugly. Protect yourself! 
My ex was convinced I was having an EA online a d started trying to sign up to private forums I belonged to. He
couldn't accept that I just wanted to be away from him. 
I moved in with my mom too and my ex tried to have me arrested for kidnapping. The sooner you can document that you are living apart the better off you are, that's why I suggest filing for child support. Good luck to you. 
It will be hard at first but children are better off in a loving home than a dysfunctional one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I also agree that there are men who don't care about dating someone with a child. Looking back I don't know that I could have jelled with someone who didn't have kids too. I now have two amazing cute smart wonderful stepsons. And I get to parent with a man who truly wants to be a father.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Screenp2 (Dec 4, 2011)

Pack all of your bags and then put them in the trunk. Get yourself ready to leave.. call mom, get the bills in line, take all legal documents you need and prepare his favorite meal for when he gets home. 

You have to forget something for the meal, something that you can run to the store quickly for. Say you will be right back, grab your son and hit the road. Get a call blocking ap for your phone and block his number and never look back until you have to deal with lawyers over the divorce paperwork. 

Good luck in your new life.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Screenp2 said:


> Pack all of your bags and then put them in the trunk. Get yourself ready to leave.. call mom, get the bills in line, take all legal documents you need and prepare his favorite meal for when he gets home.
> 
> You have to forget something for the meal, something that you can run to the store quickly for. Say you will be right back, grab your son and hit the road. Get a call blocking ap for your phone and block his number and never look back until you have to deal with lawyers over the divorce paperwork.
> 
> Good luck in your new life.


If i take my son to the store he will know something is up.. He gets home at about 11:30 pm. I will leave when he is at work, but he is off for the next 2 days after today.. I hope i hear back from my mom tonight..


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

ladybird, sorry to hear you are going through this.

I am finding this thread really hard to read through because it is triggering me hard... when my W announced her intention to leave all I could fathom in my mind was the horror that she was feeling so worn down like you are... I know I was depressed and ineffectual and not able to meet her needs, and she was depressed and seemed to not even care about my needs either, then coming to the realization of everything we were and werren't doing, but mostly for myself what needed to be done to make the marriage work, it made me even more depressed and more innefectual.

I have come to the realization that my passiveness was a direct cause to the unhappiness in our marriage, she was away from the home too much so I was doing less hoping that she would see she was neglecting it, and then hoping if she started to take some action to make an effort to be around more, do more with the chores take on more of the parenting that I would reward her by also stepping up. It's almost as if we were trying to manipulate each other to behave more like the partner we wanted instead of just being the partner each of us could be.

Then I found out how messy it all got when she chose to get a taste of the single life, started having affairs and liked it so much she chose to leave me to pursue that. It makes it all so confusing because I can't tell how much of our problems were blame shifting, if I let her down like your H has let you down, or if she was just always to selfish and immature... I do know that I acted poorly to cause a lot of unhappiness, and I actually feel for your H, if he is anything like me, because he sounds depressed and paralyzed with fear, afraid of volatility not knowing how to change his inaction.

My recommendation to you is do what you know to be right... if you are done then tell him you will seek a divorce and actually do it, don't sit on the fence about it, you know whether you are all n or not. But like I said in another thread to a woman going through this, when you plan your exit don't sneak around, be loud about it and remember to keep looking back for the man you fell in love with because he is still there somewhere under several layers of rust and your leaving him is going to shake that corrosion off him whether or not there is a chance to save this.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi ladybird ~

Sorry it has come to this - and wishing you strength and courage in the coming days ahead.

Have you consulted with an attorney? Tried to get all of your ducks in a row? Sounds like your husband goes back and forth between being nice and being not so nice. Document every interaction or altercation that you have so that you can protect you and your son, if necessary.

Do you have anybody besides your mom that you can lean on? Got any close friends that you can confide in?

Take care of yourself.

Best wishes.


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## abandonedcompletely (Dec 21, 2011)

ladybird said:


> *Well. I told him that I wanted to talk to him when he got home about a few things.. He he flew off the handle, again!! Now i am ****ing the neighbor.. WTF really, that is all he could come up with.*. That is the obvious reason i want to leave him, he hasn't done anything wrong!!! WTF is wrong with him.. *He won't take responsibility for anything nor is he accountable for anything he does.*.He said he was going to call the cops if i didn't answer the phone to him, and tell the cops i kidnapped our son.. He is ****ing insane..
> 
> My feelings are petty and stupid!!
> 
> ...



Wow, your husband sounds like mine and I, also, will be leaving when I'm able.

Be thankful your leaving. Because, by his response to you about you leaving, saying that you must be sleeping with someone, it shows you that he doesn't get it and nothing will change.

You'll feel so much better when your out of the situation.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Lon said:


> ladybird, sorry to hear you are going through this.
> 
> I am finding this thread really hard to read through because it is triggering me hard... when my W announced her intention to leave all I could fathom in my mind was the horror that she was feeling so worn down like you are... I know I was depressed and ineffectual and not able to meet her needs, and she was depressed and seemed to not even care about my needs either, then coming to the realization of everything we were and werren't doing, but mostly for myself what needed to be done to make the marriage work, it made me even more depressed and more innefectual.
> 
> ...


I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is a very hard thing to live through and deal with. 

I have told him i am done. I am not sitting on the fence about it, it is the real deal. 

I have held on the last 3 years!!! The man i fell in love with 15 years ago, is gone and there is no sign of him coming back.. I have held on for as long as i can.. Hoping that he would see how much pain i am in.. I can't take anymore hurt. I have done everything I can do, I have been the only one trying to fix everything, it takes two ppl, not just one. He has more chances then i said I would give anyone, and things keep going in circles. 

I am not acting selfishly I am far from immature.. It is not because i want someone else, it is for my own well being.. I can not take the emotional bull****, head games, just plain disrespect from him anylonger.. I am much better then that to be treat like ****.

You can feel sorry for him all you want, but he made his bed, now he can lay in it.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

abandonedcompletely said:


> Wow, your husband sounds like mine and I, also, will be leaving when I'm able.
> 
> Be thankful your leaving. Because, by his response to you about you leaving, saying that you must be sleeping with someone, it shows you that he doesn't get it and nothing will change.
> 
> You'll feel so much better when your out of the situation.


He doesn't get it and nothing will change.. It was the same thing 6 months ago.. I can't talk to him about anything, without him getting into a fit of rage, he always gets pissed off and says that I am always attacking him and puts everything on me.. 

There is a part of me that does want to stay and try to work it out again, but i know deep in my heart that things will continue to be the way they are in 6 months from now. I don't want to walk out, but i have no other choice.. I don't want to look back 5 years from now and be in the exact same place i am in now.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I just got off the phone with my mom. I have a green light.. I am going to start packing, but now h is off for the next 2 days =(. I was hoping she would have called me earlier.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

ladybird said:


> You can feel sorry for him all you want, but he made his bed, now he can lay in it.


Please understand I wasn't taking his "side", you are not enemies, you are both on the same team, just can no longer work together. Also I realize I am projecting my own situation onto yours, and you have suggested that he is not all that passive as I was, that he is actively abusing you with threats of violence and fits of rage - in which case don't hesitate from putting distance between you, your safety comes first.

I know you said you've "told him" you are done but words mean nothing without the corresponding actions. And for 3 years you've "held on" which to him may be perceived as fence-sitting. Anyway since you have the green light none of that applies, so I sincerely wish you the best through this.

ps. what is up with your signature? That could be construed as spam and could get you banned here.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I left monday!! He keeps calling me wanting to talk. I am done talking! I feel some relief, but not much.


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

I am so sorry you are hurting.  It sounds like you made the right decision, and I wish you the best. You deserve to be happy.


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

Very sad for you also. I just do not get how two people who loved each other can't mutually agree to drop the bull$hit and make things work. Not necessarily a commentary for the OP but a general statement. I truly don't understand that.


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## ValNTine (Feb 27, 2012)

Please be very careful, hun.... Men with those kinds of rage issues are the same ones that come back and hurt the kids or wife out of spite. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I sincerely hope that peace comes to you and your son in the upcoming months, right now it's going to be tough. But make sure all of your ducks are in a row, and stay on the silent side. Do not talk to him, because he'll just say the things you want to hear. You've seen it yourself, and you are smart enough to understand the cycle he'll go through. 

Keep us updated, and again, be safe.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

If you are afraid of retaliation, get yourself a gun.
I didn't figure out I had been dead for twenty years until
two years after the divorce was concluded.
Sure is a lot better now.
Good luck


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

I love my wife to death, but I'm feeling pretty much like ladybird. I'm frustrated, things suck, I'm reaching out, but I'm the evil sex monster. What do you do when you love someone and they throw everything back at you? I feel like giving up and very much alone at this point. How much lower can one go? :-(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

phantomfan said:


> Very sad for you also. I just do not get how two people who loved each other can't mutually agree to drop the bull$hit and make things work. Not necessarily a commentary for the OP but a general statement. I truly don't understand that.


I am thinking the exact same thing.. He just didn't want to make things work. He wanted things the way they were.. I think he stopped caring about me a long time ago.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

ValNTine said:


> Please be very careful, hun.... Men with those kinds of rage issues are the same ones that come back and hurt the kids or wife out of spite. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I sincerely hope that peace comes to you and your son in the upcoming months, right now it's going to be tough. But make sure all of your ducks are in a row, and stay on the silent side. Do not talk to him, because he'll just say the things you want to hear. You've seen it yourself, and you are smart enough to understand the cycle he'll go through.
> 
> Keep us updated, and again, be safe.


You are absolutely right! He will tell me what I want to hear, and even if he does i know better. I will just be the same damn cycle it has been the last 2 or so years!! I know it will get easier, it has to.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

phantomfan said:


> I love my wife to death, but I'm feeling pretty much like ladybird. I'm frustrated, things suck, I'm reaching out, but I'm the evil sex monster. What do you do when you love someone and they throw everything back at you? I feel like giving up and very much alone at this point. How much lower can one go? :-(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am sorry you are going through this!! It is very hard. But some times love isn't enough.. My husband would do the same thing, everything was my fault, throwing everything in my face.. He would take no responsibility for anything.. And the worst thing is that when i got really upset he wouldn't do ****.. You will get to a point where you will think there has got to be more to life then being someone door mat.. I have no self worth, i just want to crawl under a rock and die. My son is the only one keeping me from doing just that!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

phantomfan said:


> I love my wife to death, but I'm feeling pretty much like ladybird. I'm frustrated, things suck, I'm reaching out, but I'm the evil sex monster. What do you do when you love someone and they throw everything back at you? I feel like giving up and very much alone at this point. How much lower can one go? :-(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ah, phantom... sorry to hear this. Thought things were going a little bit better for you.

But, if things have been on a downward spiral for some time, it may take some amount of time to try and get the traction to move them in an upward motion, and it can be so hard to feel like staying the course.

Two euphemisms about horses come to mind that my dad always said to me (I grew up on a working cattle ranch). When I would fall off, whether it was literally or figuratively - "get right back on that horse and ride" and "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make 'em drink". Guess only you can tell how long you're willing to wait until they drink...I do know that a doggone stubborn mule of a horse will eventually drink something in their own sweet time - and I know that only because I was more stubborn to wait them out. 

Hang in there.

Best wishes.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

****UPDATE****

I am still staying at my mothers house. I have been unable to find a job other then making a couple hundred a month online (the job market sucks right now.) Other then that I am doing alright.

H wants to work things out. Wants to go to counselling and the entire 9 yards. I am not sure if I want to. I don't want to be in the same ****ty situation 6 months from now kicking my self in the ass for not staying gone... 

I did tell him the weekend before last that I wanted a divorce. He got rather upset about it.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

ladybird;796777
I did tell him the weekend before last that I wanted a divorce. He got rather upset about it.[/QUOTE said:


> I understand how crappy it is to tell your spouse over and over again what you need and be the only one doing anything to help the marriage (this is where I am at) but is there any room left for him to respond to the incredible wake up call you have given him?
> 
> I don't think my situation is quite as dire but I do have a spouse who is affectionless and sucks at communication (if I try to talk about anything she gets immediately defensive and starts yelling, almost like she is punishing me for bringing something up so I won't do it again) and though I'm not on the verge of leaving, I don't see myself living like this forever.
> 
> But if I did leave and she said "hey, I get it, I need to work on things and I want us to work" I would probably come back in a minute.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Paulination said:


> I understand how crappy it is to tell your spouse over and over again what you need and be the only one doing anything to help the marriage (this is where I am at) but is there any room left for him to respond to the incredible wake up call you have given him?
> 
> I don't think my situation is quite as dire but I do have a spouse who is affectionless and sucks at communication (if I try to talk about anything she gets immediately defensive and starts yelling, almost like she is punishing me for bringing something up so I won't do it again) and though I'm not on the verge of leaving, I don't see myself living like this forever.
> 
> But if I did leave and she said "hey, I get it, I need to work on things and I want us to work" I would probably come back in a minute.


Nothing like beating a dead horse!!

He will have to prove that things will be different, I have given him many many chances in the past, just for him to go back to the exact same way. To many sleepless nights on my end, crying myself to sleep while he slept like a baby. There is also A LOT that i will have to get over. I have so much resentment and anger towards him, granted it has faded over time, but not completely. 

He is willing to go to MC but i am going to have him set the appointment.


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