# Are women and wives in today's hyper-sexual society more sexually adventurous, inclined to bring their own kinks and sex play into relationships?



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Compared to 20 yrs ago sex before sex and specific focus on sex in marketing in ads, internet, and tv etc were absolutely prevalent, are today's sexual social environment created women more openly sexually adventurous, and bring their own kinks into relationships and Ms?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Compared to 20 yrs ago sex before sex and specific focus on sex in marketing in ads, internet, and tv etc were absolutely prevalent, are today's sexual social environment created women more openly sexually adventurous, and bring their own kinks into relationships and Ms?


That all usually stops AFTER the marriage. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Yes


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Today's younger women are basically willing to do anything and everything.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

You guys pretend like the 60's and 70's didn't exist. No. Nothing is different, just more information in your face about it and less public shame surrounding it.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

No. Because of the anonymity of internet forums, it may be talked about more freely. But no.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Relationships, yes. Marriages, no.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I am not sure, I have heard stories that as a result of freely available and abundant porn the baseline expectations of men and women are different now than back in the day, but I am not old enough to be REAL back in the day.

I still had enough access to VHS tapes and apparently so did my girlfriend.

We need some youngsters in here.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> That all usually stops AFTER the marriage. 🤣🤣🤣🤣


I know. That's what I'm trying to get at. It seems that a more openly sexually environment for at least a generation would bring more sexually adventurous attitudes and less shrewish demeanor to relationships.

But you're right, maybe not or no change.
So I thought I'd ask.

Edit: don't beat me because I used the word shrewish. It was the best I could come up with this morning.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> I am not sure, I have heard stories that as a result of freely available and abundant porn the baseline expectations of men and women are different now than back in the day, but I am not old enough to be REAL back in the day.
> 
> I still had enough access to VHS tapes and apparently so did my girlfriend.
> 
> We need some youngsters in here.


This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Not likely to with their husbands. 🤷🏼‍♂️


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

red oak said:


> Not likely to with their husbands. 🤷🏼‍♂️


I don't think this is true. If you are younger or you are dating younger women who are more sexually free they generally stay that way after marriage.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I know. That's what I'm trying to get at. It seems that a more openly sexually environment for at least a generation would bring more sexually adventurous attitudes and less shrewish demeanor to relationships.
> 
> But you're right, maybe not or no change.
> So I thought I'd ask.
> ...


It just depends if they like it or not. That's not going to change. So you may get somebody who really likes role play if that's not unpleasant to them but doesn't like a bunch of the more painful or unpleasant stuff. Just because it's out there saturated and guys are wanting to try everything isn't going to make women start enjoying things that hurt or taste bad. It's going to be the same thing where they try it when they're young because they're curious about it and decide what to keep and what to throw out. And that will vary by person.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

I vote no. I agree it's more in your face now with social media but I still remember the 80's - which is now 40 years ago - or some of it.. . Maybe most the guys here were too cool (or couldn't get in) to go out dancing and partying in the Disco era but I find it hard to imagine things now are any crazier, free-er, women more openly flaunting their sexuality and willing to play. Conservatives stayed away and the cops turned a blind eye to blatantly illegal and "indecent" activities openly done. What fun...


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


Hey, I think I look good in paper thin leggings and a tankini.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

2&out said:


> I vote no. I agree it's more in your face now with social media but I still remember the 80's - which is now 40 years ago - or some of it.. . Maybe most the guys here were too cool (or couldn't get in) to go out dancing and partying in the Disco era but I find it hard to imagine things now are any crazier, free-er, women more openly flaunting their sexuality and willing to play. Conservatives stayed away and the cops turned a blind eye to blatantly illegal and "indecent" activities openly done. What fun...


 I remember the 70s and 80s, that's true. A more sexually free time and let's say more carefree certain substances almost lackadaisical time would be hard to beat. The 80s were one of my most favorite decades.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I remember thinking more and more women were clean shaven in nether regions as time passed.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I remember the 70s and 80s, that's true. A more sexually free time and let's say more carefree certain substances almost lackadaisical time would be hard to beat. The 80s were one of my most favorite decades.


People on the '70s seemed a lot more bolder than they do now but then I am not dating now, so...

I did plenty of crazy stuff in the '70s, but that doesn't mean I did anything that hurt more than once.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

There seems to be a historical ebb and flow around sexuality. Just because it’s happening now doesn’t mean it’s new. The 20s were CRAZY.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> There seems to be a historical ebb and flow around sexuality. Just because it’s happening now doesn’t mean it’s new. The 20s were CRAZY.


I wouldn't doubt it!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I remember thinking more and more women were clean shaven in nether regions as time passed.


Definitely true. But nobody complained.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> There seems to be a historical ebb and flow around sexuality. Just because it’s happening now doesn’t mean it’s new. The 20s were CRAZY.


****, all the way back to the Greeks and Romans. Probably before that too.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Definitely true. But nobody complained.


So much more comfortable. Just saying.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Zedd said:


> ****, all the way back to the Greeks and Romans. Probably before that too.


As long as there have been people, I would imagine.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> less shrewish


Maybe she'd be less shrewish if she was gettin' more 🤣


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


Well that is very dependent upon where you grew up.

In the 1970s in Australia, there were regular daytime shows like Number 96, which had full frontal nudity. Or Alvin Purple and others, in fact nudity and toplessnes, sexual innuendo was pretty common on Australian television. As a kid I also recall topless and even nude bathers in the 1970s and 1980s being far more common back then. Not forgetting all the Carry On movies they'd run on on the tele on the weekend. Plus the topless page 3 girls in the afternoon papers my grandad would buy. Plus newsagents in the 70's and 80s weren't at all shy about selling porn magazines. Sure they sold them to adults but, when I was a kid, you'd see them when you were in there to buy a Matchbox aeroplane kit. Not forgetting the skimpy shorts we all wore which covered less than a pair of boxer shorts would that were like a uniform back in the day.

My wife also recalls TV in Sicily back then which had plenty to ogle at as well, which was also just par for the course.

Now I know a lot of Americans were horrified when Janet flashed some nipple, but over here whoopee so what. Plus growing up back then, the things my parents generation were up to! I mean they were the ones showing their tits, sunbathing nude (in the yard), buying furry penis warmer thingies (they'd just chuck it in the laundry). I saw my first sounds like dock (penis) ring (you know to keep the erection longer), when I was 6th grade in Primary School. 'cause one of my school mates flogged all this stuff out of his parents bedroom. So us guys and girls, giggled while playing with the stuff together in the bush strip and girls toilets.

And porn wasn't just found on magazine shelves at the newsagent in the 70s and 80s. As kids we'd find stashes of it down the creek or at the quarry and in our parents cars and bedrooms. Plus being in the 70s, except for the non English immigrant kids who were on a very short leash. The rest of us were free range as long as we were back by 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening. No mobile phones, no parents knowing where we were or what we were doing. Which carried on when we became teenagers and then there'd always be some older friends who'd get us alcohol for our parties, not forgetting the parents who would get us alcohol and let us get drunk (since they claimed we'd do it anyway).

Plus on this idea of 20 years ago, things being so demure back then. Again where you live makes a difference.

I can relate that back when I was an 18 year old in 1989, I already had experienced doing penetrative anal sex. Likewise I also was practiced at giving cum facials. I was even experienced in giving and receiving golden showers, I had also shared sex in parks, at parties, on a stairwell in a block of flats during a lunch break, on public transport and some other places as well.

Plus I had also shared sex in front of friends when they were also having sex and on one occasion when they weren't. I'd also shared sex with a few friends at the same time as well. I had also been on both the receiving end and giving end of analingus. Then there was all the oral sex I had given and received, along with plenty of finger banging. And of course I had also shared sex fully clothed and in various states of undress through to nudity. Or shared sex with a partner wearing lingerie, and at other times she wore crotchless skimpy cut, short-short jeans. The number of positions that I had tried was also considerable. Oh and before I forget there was the fun of seeing how much we could fit inside my partner, toes fingers, and some other object. Then there was the food sex play, and the touching, licking and the biting, hair pulling, scratching and, and, and.

It's amazing how vociferous ones sexual drive and appetites can be when young, especially with partners that are as wanton and wanting as you. But we didn't have mobile phones, or social media, and our computer games weren't as flash as they are now.

I also recall reading on here that some posters were scared of AIDS and other STDs back then, yet I can't recall my non-gay friends sparing AIDS a thought (even with the bowling ball ad). Way back when the only worry for most of us was getting pregnant.

Was every young woman up for what I experienced up through my being 16 through 18, no they weren't (my wife of today wasn't at the time). Yet lots were, and plenty of them were the instigators of that stuff and more in my experience. And of that experience having been married twice, that rich variety and wanton lust didn't go away going forward with who I have been and am with.

That said younger people today certainly haven't invented sexual variety, just as my generation didn't either. Plus after reading plenty of books and papers on the history of sex, my parents generation born in the 1940s and 1950s didn't invent it either. It's simply all part of being human, and women lusting after sexual variety isn't new, since it's been with us for thousands of years.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> are today's sexual social environment created women more openly sexually adventurous, and bring their own kinks into relationships and Ms?


I certainly hope so!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Compared to 20 yrs ago sex before sex and specific focus on sex in marketing in ads, internet, and tv etc


Sex has always been used in marketing. 

The only true new medium in the last 30 years in the internet. 

The language was just more watered down and more subliminal. 

Today in marketing they use actual words like 'sex' and 'erection' and 'tampon' etc. 

I'm not sure if TV advertisement if they are even using the words penis or vagina etc yet today.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> Sex has always been used in marketing.
> 
> The only true new medium in the last 30 years in the internet.
> 
> ...


If I hear the words - if you experience vaginal itching- one more time in a Vagisal commercial.....

I'll be thinking hell, next just use more slang terms for a cooter, more folks will remember.

Sorry for the crassness.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


I don’t know but I think the person who designed Lululemon yoga pants must be a guy. Thank you designer!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


I don't know. I mean all the clothing is different, but in the 1950s, my sister was a teenager and her and all her friends wore short shorts. And I mean they were no longer than granny panties. If you were a woman with a round butt, it would hang out a little.

Then there were scarf tops and tank tops in the sixties and seventies. Common not to wear a bra unless you were really big which since there were no fake boobs to speak of back then hardly anyone was big.

I remember wearing a see-through white top with big balloon sleeves over a camisole in the 70s and early 80s.

I had a leopard print half mini slip that I wore over thickish black leggings out clubbing and it had a slit all the way to the top almost.

And then in the 80s it started to be mainstream to wear corsets and all that although I only did that maybe once because I really don't have the body for it.

I had a couple of skate skirts I wore in the late '80s that were short but had built-in shorts under them. My favorite one was covered with motorcycles.


Since I don't go clubbing anymore I don't see what's being worn out there for the most part, but my favorite restaurant got rented out one day for what I now know was a rap party, and I saw some pretty revealing clothes just in the time I was in the parking lot. The most memorable one was this girl he was covered with flesh colored obviously fake leather, real thin so you can see every jiggle. And that was the first time I had seen short shorts a
In a good long while so apparently they're back. Her boots matched and everything.

I like crazy clothes. I wish I could still wear them.

But yeah you do see an awful lot of really thin leggings with nothing on over them the last 10 years. I don't know if they realize because it's noticeable more from the back but I just saw something like that this morning in a parking lot.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> Today in marketing they use actual words like 'sex' and 'erection' and 'tampon' etc.


So just like the olden days.

*Sex*










*Erection*










*Tampon*


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personal said:


> Well that is very dependent upon where you grew up.
> 
> In the 1970s in Australia, there were regular daytime shows like Number 96, which had full frontal nudity. Or Alvin Purple and others, in fact nudity and toplessnes, sexual innuendo was pretty common on Australian television. As a kid I also recall topless and even nude bathers in the 1970s and 1980s being far more common back then. Not forgetting all the Carry On movies they'd run on on the tele on the weekend. Plus the topless page 3 girls in the afternoon papers my grandad would buy. Plus newsagents in the 70's and 80s weren't at all shy about selling porn magazines. Sure they sold them to adults but, when I was a kid, you'd see them when you were in there to buy a Matchbox aeroplane kit. Not forgetting the skimpy shorts we all wore which covered less than a pair of boxer shorts would that were like a uniform back in the day.


Hahaha I used to sneak into the living room and put a VCR cassette on record in secret when a show called "sex-life" was on (It was on 10pm+).

Then I watched it when my parents weren't around. 😁


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I had a couple of skate skirts I wore in the late '80s that were short but had built-in shorts under them. My favorite one was covered with motorcycles.


Skorts! Oh, I remember those. I loved them. When I was first working, I would wear them over black tights. I was tech support, so I was always having to crawl under desks to deal with computers and I could wear a "skirt" without worrying so much about southern exposure.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Skorts! Oh, I remember those. I loved them. When I was first working, I would wear them over black tights. I was tech support, so I was always having to crawl under desks to deal with computers and I could wear a "skirt" without worrying so much about southern exposure.


No, it wasn't what I think of as skorts. I think of skorts as sort of a skirt with two legs. But this was more like a shortish bike pant with a short attached skirt. I really liked mine.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No, it wasn't what I think of as skorts. I think of skorts as sort of a skirt with two legs. But this was more like a shortish bike pant with a short attached skirt. I really liked mine.


Oh I see what you mean. I have some that are capris. I wear them when I scuba dive, because there is no graceful or ladylike way to fall off a boat backwards. I'm trying to limit who all sees the goods, it's not college any more, after all. 😉 😏


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. *Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.*


Some of this is the majority throwing off what a minority wanted to limit. We also have what @Zedd pointed out of more information being available, thus an equal amount gets talked about more. Finally we have not so much more women who want to do these things, but more women who are not being held back from expressing these wants.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No, it wasn't what I think of as skorts. I think of skorts as sort of a skirt with two legs. But this was more like a shortish bike pant with a short attached skirt. I really liked mine.


I would have thought of them both as skorts, but they are still relatively new historically speaking. It might still further break down.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I would have thought of them both as skorts, but they are still relatively new historically speaking. It might still further break down.


I know they were called skate skirts when I bought them. The skirt part is short and swingy. I think the closest thing to them would be a tennis skirt.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I am not sure, I have heard stories that as a result of freely available and abundant porn the baseline expectations of men and women are different now than back in the day, but I am not old enough to be REAL back in the day.
> 
> I still had enough access to VHS tapes and apparently so did my girlfriend.
> 
> We need some youngsters in here.


Being old as dirt, would submit not much has changed. In fact, reading history I would contend human sexuality hasn't changed much for thousands of years.

Specifically, in the early sixties things were pretty wild. Not for me personally but for most of the "kids" I grew up with. And porn actually had nothing to do with it.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Being old as dirt, would submit not much has changed. In fact, reading history I would contend human sexuality hasn't changed much for thousands of years.
> 
> Specifically, in the early sixties things were pretty wild. Not for me personally but for most of the "kids" I grew up with. And porn actually had nothing to do with it.


Not that it is a blanket statement on the state of things but I had better sex last night then I did during the whole of the 90's so I think we are making progress.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Edit: don't beat me because I used the word shrewish. It was the best I could come up with this morning.


Not unless you like being beaten!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is my point. Not even using porn itself as a benchmark but overall. Just one component that boggles my mind sometimes is clothing. When all is exposed as in paper thin legging, tops see thru super short, and on and on. Things on regular tv even, that would never fly 20 years ago much less 40 yrs ago when I was growing up.


Hell it was scandalous that Carole and Mike Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch.

We live in a time now, where people 'experience' things via media. Whether it be YT, Instagram, TikTok, OnlyFans, TV, magazines ... books ... movies. I follow a lot of manosphere stuff, and somebody will put up a IG story about some independent young woman who posts a TikTok about being proud that she ran a train of guys. Like trying to be a guy ... it's baffling. Worst still, is that social media then takes her vid, and shares it with the online profiles of her parents. It's all just very toxic.

But I do find the how and why interesting.
Why did women shaving their genitalia become a big thing? Why did anal become a big thing? Threesomes? (as comically evidenced with posts to this very board)

Sexuality, it's conduct and context is ABSOLUTELY far more in our faces (pun there) than it ever has been in the past.

I had the most sex both from a quantity, quality, and adventurous perspective between my mid-forties and mid-fifties than ever in my life. A lot of that had to do with me of course, and what I both expressed what I wanted, and brought to the table with a new partner. My experience was consistently, that women coming out of divorce in their early to mid-forties were like kids unleashed in a bouncy house for the first time. The excitement, newness, etc. all factors in. And again, anecdotally, even from my marriages, there were things my then girlfriends enthusiastically did with me, that as they settled into being wives, slowly began to evaporate and eventually dried up like an oasis in the Sahara. Occasionally, a rogue storm would blow through (pun again) bringing life to the arid desert, but it never remained in that vibrant, brilliant state.

I miss the rains down in Africa ...

The other point I wanted to make about my rant above, and having done some research, is that in our social media driven world, particularly for younger people, having an experience 'shared' online, is often more gratifying than being in that moment enjoying the actual experience itself.

For example, why is Kim Kardashian famous again? Anyone?

@Ragnar Ragnasson I don't know at this point if I actually addressed your question, or hijacked your thread.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I cited a poll years ago, asking women if they were interested in practicing the kind of kink expressed in the 50 Shades of Gray series of novels. Overwhelmingly the answer was 'yes'. The idea of experiencing that kind of sexuality was thrilling.

The followup; would you want to share those experiences with your husband or current partner? Overwhelmingly the answer was not, 'yes'.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Deejo said:


> Hell it was scandalous that Carole and Mike Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch.
> 
> We live in a time now, where people 'experience' things via media. Whether it be YT, Instagram, TikTok, OnlyFans, TV, magazines ... books ... movies. I follow a lot of manosphere stuff, and somebody will put up a IG story about some independent young woman who posts a TikTok about being proud that she ran a train of guys. Like trying to be a guy ... it's baffling. Worst still, is that social media then takes her vid, and shares it with the online profiles of her parents. It's all just very toxic.
> 
> ...


All great comments!

Kim Kardashian quip is a great example of today's sad social media environment. 👍👍


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Laurentium said:


> Not unless you like being beaten!


_Clippy appears_ It looks like you are trying to negotiate a BDSM session. Would you like some help?

Some of you will be too young to get that.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Deejo said:


> Hell it was scandalous that Carole and Mike Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch.


You're a somewhat prudish bunch.

Meanwhile through part of the time that the Brady Bunch was being filmed and aired. in Australia at 8:30pm on weeknights people were watching Number 96, which was set in Australian suburbia. Featuring sex scenes, full frontal nudity, homosexuality and a trans character as well.

And my wife relates when she lived in Sicily, back then. She remembers it being normal to seeplenty of women with their tits on show including other nudity on daytime and evening television.

Maybe you guys are just catching up?



> We live in a time now, where people 'experience' things via media. Whether it be YT, Instagram, TikTok, OnlyFans, TV, magazines ... books ... movies. I follow a lot of manosphere stuff, and somebody will put up a IG story about some independent young woman who posts a TikTok about being proud that she ran a train of guys. Like trying to be a guy ... it's baffling. Worst still, is that social media then takes her vid, and shares it with the online profiles of her parents. It's all just very toxic.


I share your opinion on that toxicity.



> But I do find the how and why interesting.
> Why did women shaving their genitalia become a big thing? Why did anal become a big thing? Threesomes? (as comically evidenced with posts to this very board)





> Sexuality, it's conduct and context is ABSOLUTELY far more in our faces (pun there) than it ever has been in the past.


Not where I live, yet I don't doubt it is like that where you live.



> I had the most sex both from a quantity, quality, and adventurous perspective between my mid-forties and mid-fifties than ever in my life. A lot of that had to do with me of course, and what I both expressed what I wanted, and brought to the table with a new partner. My experience was consistently, that women coming out of divorce in their early to mid-forties were like kids unleashed in a bouncy house for the first time. The excitement, newness, etc. all factors in. And again, anecdotally, even from my marriages, there were things my then girlfriends enthusiastically did with me, that as they settled into being wives, slowly began to evaporate and eventually dried up like an oasis in the Sahara. Occasionally, a rogue storm would blow through (pun again) bringing life to the arid desert, but it never remained in that vibrant, brilliant state.
> 
> I miss the rains down in Africa ...


Except for the part about the quantity, quality and adventurous sex, drying up after marriage in both instances. I experienced all of that enthusiasm and more from the beginning of my sexual journey. In large part because I expressed my desires without apology or reticence. Of which if you and some of your then mid-forties and mid-fifties partners were like that or were with people like that when younger. You and they would have experienced the same way back when as well.

Now on the problem of sex devolving after marriage, that just hasn't been my experience. Seriously what I get to share remains very very wow! Of which the fact that it has been that way through two marriages, I figure that experience isn't down to being a fortunate accident.



> The other point I wanted to make about my rant above, and having done some research, is that in our social media driven world, particularly for younger people, having an experience 'shared' online, is often more gratifying than being in that moment enjoying the actual experience itself.
> 
> *For example, why is Kim Kardashian famous again? Anyone?*


I figure it's probably because there are lots of people who are kinda stupid.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

thunderchad said:


> Today's younger women are basically willing to do anything and everything.


Many of the younger women and men I know..also do not think STDs are such a big deal either today. I work in a hospital and see alot in the ER..and they dont even give it a second thought when they get diagnosed w something...treatable or non treatable. 😒 Its also important to remember the exposure to all sorts of porn is widely available to very young kids because of phones, wifi, etc. Not just the playboy or hustler mags that were around when I was a kid..these kids watch women get gang raped, raped by animals, choked and even murdered. This I know for a fact because my oldest SS and his friends on basketball team all got busted watching that type of crap in school. And he said to us "what?? Everybody watches it..we send it thru snapchat" . So I imagine it can and does affect their view on sex and relationships as they get older.. teen girls are no exception .


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

thunderchad said:


> Today's younger women are basically willing to do anything and everything.


There were several teen boys at my SSs HS who got in trouble for trying to do anal sex on their 15 and 16 year old gfs who told their moms.. 
It may seem exciting for men that girls have become more adventurous..but at what cost? As a parent to a daughter or daughters..it makes u cringe to think whats "expected of her"..and the fact it is now expected so young from boys is even more concerning. Another thing kids do today is secretly record sex with their phones and send them thru snapchat...again..HS boys I know got in trouble for recording girls they had sex with that were passed out and sent the video to a 100 friends. It makes u wonder how infinte access to porn of all sorts has affected our youth..is that the reason young women are more "adventurous"? Because thats whats expected of them?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> _Clippy appears_


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Personal said:


> You're a somewhat prudish bunch.


For sure some of us


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> There were several teen boys at my SSs HS who got in trouble for trying to do anal sex on their 15 and 16 year old gfs who told their moms..
> It may seem exciting for men that girls have become more adventurous..but at what cost? As a parent to a daughter or daughters..it makes u cringe to think whats "expected of her"..and the fact it is now expected so young from boys is even more concerning. Another thing kids do today is secretly record sex with their phones and send them thru snapchat...again..HS boys I know got in trouble for recording girls they had sex with that were passed out and sent the video to a 100 friends. It makes u wonder how infinte access to porn of all sorts has affected our youth..is that the reason young women are more "adventurous"? Because thats whats expected of them?


Not to mention they treat pregnancy like no big deal. There's an epidemic of single moms, way more than there used to be 10 or 20 years ago.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> There were several teen boys at my SSs HS who got in trouble for trying to do anal sex on their 15 and 16 year old gfs who told their moms.


That is called the poophole loophole in religious schools around here.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Personal said:


> You're a somewhat prudish bunch.


For sure some of us were/are. Wife and I grew up and lived much more conservative sexually than you, and probably most in this country. It just happened that way mostly because of FOO and the friends and relatives we have been around. H3ll, I didnt know some of the acts you experienced young even existed until was in my 40s. And the wife would be scandalized to learn even today. We have a couple we are friends with and the woman is shocked at naïveté of my late 70s wife.

So us prudes exist even in these times. I suppose we ought to apologize, but we just live and enjoy our quiet lives.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

thunderchad said:


> Not to mention they treat pregnancy like no big deal. There's an epidemic of single moms, way more than there used to be 10 or 20 years ago.


yeah, this isn't true. The last 20 years the rate of single mothers has been relatively stable, even falling a little. There was a giant uptick between 1970 and 2000, but that had nothing to do with teen pregnancy, as that rate has fallen at a reasonably steady rate since 1960. It's more likely due to women finally not giving a flying fk about the stigma associated with divorce and single motherhood and not marrying a bad partners just because they became pregnant.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Rus47 said:


> For sure some of us were/are. Wife and I grew up and lived much more conservative sexually than you, and probably most in this country. It just happened that way mostly because of FOO and the friends and relatives we have been around. H3ll, I didnt know some of the acts you experienced young even existed until was in my 40s. And the wife would be scandalized to learn even today. We have a couple we are friends with and the woman is shocked at naïveté of my late 70s wife.
> 
> So us prudes exist even in these times. I suppose we ought to apologize, but we just live and enjoy our quiet lives.


Some people find this a contradiction but it is the most healthy attitude on sex.
From my circumstance, raised conservative in a rural area, raised on a farm - all my group are wildly sexual because we've been around sex all our lives, observing that sex is necessary, healthy, and not an unlearnable mystery. Yet, we're supposed to be conservative and prudish because of how and where we were raised.

Yet nothing could be farther from the truth.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Some people find this a contradiction but it is the most healthy attitude on sex.
> From my circumstance, raised conservative in a rural area, raised on a farm - all my group are wildly sexual because we've been around sex all our lives, observing that sex is necessary, healthy, and not an unlearnable mystery. Yet, we're supposed to be conservative and prudish because of how and where we were raised.
> 
> Yet nothing could be farther from the truth.


This^^^ People look and think one thing then are suprised at what happens behind closed doors.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

Rus47 said:


> So us prudes exist even in these times. I suppose we ought to apologize, but we just live and enjoy our quiet lives.


There's literally nothing wrong with that, so long as you're happy, though. That doesn't make you or your wife prudish.

What would (and I'm not saying it applies here) would be if you then expected everyone else to conform to the standards that are acceptable to you.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

thunderchad said:


> Not to mention they treat pregnancy like no big deal. There's an epidemic of single moms, way more than there used to be 10 or 20 years ago.


Got to thank those trashy mtv shows who glorify teen pregnancy..making it look cool and easy and fun.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

thunderchad said:


> That is called the poophole loophole in religious schools around here.


Whatever its called...I will cut off any little boys ding dong and shove it up his poophole if he tries to sodomize my daughter because he saw it on a porn site.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Nope.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> For sure some of us were/are. Wife and I grew up and lived much more conservative sexually than you, and probably most in this country. It just happened that way mostly because of FOO and the friends and relatives we have been around. H3ll, I didnt know some of the acts you experienced young even existed until was in my 40s. And the wife would be scandalized to learn even today. We have a couple we are friends with and the woman is shocked at naïveté of my late 70s wife.
> 
> So us prudes exist even in these times. I suppose we ought to apologize, but we just live and enjoy our quiet lives.



I was referring to TV and other media, not what you guys personally share with those you love.

That said, it doesn't matter what age or how many partners. What matters is that you and who you are with, feel safe to enjoy sharing your sexuality with each other at any age and any experience and comfort zone.

And there's nothing to apologise for, just love each other.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Personal said:


> It isn't always that black and white.
> 
> Way back in the dark ages (1987-1989), when I was 16 and in Year 10 in High School, a just turned 18 year old in Year 12 who was a friend. earnestly asked me to to take her virginity (of which I was also a virgin) and to consider also becoming her boyfriend. Now I turned her down because I wasn't attracted to her that way, yet she wasn't reticent in asking me a few times again later on, and she also expressed a level of expectation from me.
> 
> ...


I agree with you..lots of young girls initiate sex and enjoy touching..I was one of them when I was a teenager. I am speaking from the experience of recently raising 3 teenage boys who are now young adults. Girls can be very sexual, especially when they are young and for lack of a better word..horny. My point is that I think the access to all sorts of porn has upped the game..and from my experience raising boys and being around so many of their friends...their perspective and expectations of sex can be pretty twisted at a very young age. Also, back in early 2000s when I was a teen..most girls didnt watch porn..today that has changed..young girls watch porn just like boys do...and it is a proven fact in psychology that over use of porn can and does affect not only your performance but your expectations and perceptions on relationships and sex...male or female.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

I agree with you as well @The Narcissist's Wife, except on the porn thing about performance etc.

That said I deleted my post, because I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this venue.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Personal said:


> I agree with you as well @The Narcissist's Wife, except on the porn thing about performance etc.
> 
> That said I deleted my post, because I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this venue.


I have read studies about men and women who overuse porn having issues with performing..that is why i referenced that..there are many articles and some studies about how porn use has affected person to person performance. Also studies on how overuse or addiction to porn has affected perceptions, relationships and expectations.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Personal said:


> I agree with you as well @The Narcissist's Wife, except on the porn thing about performance etc.
> 
> That said I deleted my post, because I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this venue.


Alot of my thoughts and perspective is from a parent's POV. I have 5 kids, 4 boys and 1 girl and as the boys got older and had access to things we didn't know about..it was a huge learning curve. I have alot to say about how forward and adventurous todays youth are, because it starts in middle school. It starts w your 13 year old daughter being pressured to send nudies or feeling like she has to for a boy to like her. It starts w your 12 year old son being shown websites where girls get raped or sodomized from an older kid on the bus. Apps like snapchat and whatsapp, wifi access, social media, etc.. have helped and allowed our kids to live a secret underground life that parents have no idea about. It starts much earlier than most people know..if u dont pay attention..or snoop thru your kids stuff. Its hard to protect your kids from these things and even harder to limit access since many schools give them chromebooks and require them for classes.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I have read studies about men and women who overuse porn having issues with performing..that is why i referenced that..there are many articles and some studies about how porn use has affected person to person performance. Also studies on how overuse or addiction to porn has affected perceptions, relationships and expectations.


Yeah I've also read academic studies that debunk those claims. So pick your poison, because I'm sure you can point me to those studies as I could do the same?

And on that since it's late here and I'm trying to finish something else. I'm not going to roll out those studies now, especially since I have done that in years past here on TAM.

That said since you apparently have an interest in such things the following is an interesting albeit brief discussion related to some issues with pornography.






Watching Porn, Defining Addiction & Sorting Arousal From Desire | Secular Sexuality 09.12


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Its hard to protect your kids from these things and even harder to limit access since many schools give them chromebooks and require them for classes.


Yep, there are lots of things to be seriously concerned about as a parent, in terms of what children can access today and this extends far beyond just pornography.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Personal said:


> Yep, there are lots of things to be seriously concerned about as a parent, in terms of what children can access today and this extends far beyond just pornography.


That I cant disagree with..even in us small rural communities we have to worry about drugs, sex trafficking, kidnapping, etc... cant even turn your back on your kid in a parking lot here in michigan.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I have read studies about men and women who overuse porn having issues with performing..that is why i referenced that..there are many articles and some studies about how porn use has affected person to person performance. Also studies on how overuse or addiction to porn has affected perceptions, relationships and expectations.


Well there aren't many women who look like porn stars. Even porn stars don't look like porn stars for more than 7-10 years.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Well there aren't many women who look like porn stars. Even porn stars don't look like porn stars for more than 7-10 years.


True..and i wouldnt want to..lol. i have better things to spend my money on rather than fake boobs or bleaching my butthole...lol. i mean unless your man looking like dwayne johnson..then tell them good luck finding pam anderson or jenna jameson for a wife...lol.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> True..and i wouldnt want to..lol. i have better things to spend my money on rather than fake boobs or bleaching my butthole...lol. i mean unless your man looking like dwayne johnson..then tell them good luck finding pam anderson or jenna jameson for a wife...lol.


Too many men I know..think they hold all the cards. Raising the bar and expectations for their wives like they are something special. Well aint nothing special about a pen*s..most look the same and do the same job..and there certainly isnt anything special about man boobs, receding hairlines or beer guts. Thats a dime a dozen.. so i feel sorry for any good woman who has lost her husband's attention to porn stars..those girls need to tell their men to pack their bags and go see if candy cane or sparkle farts wants to take them in...🤣🤣🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> True..and i wouldnt want to..lol. i have better things to spend my money on rather than fake boobs or bleaching my butthole...lol. i mean unless your man looking like dwayne johnson..then tell them good luck finding pam anderson or jenna jameson for a wife...lol.


Even Pam Anderson and Jenna Jameson have aged and don't look like they used to. No one can be 23 forever, but that's the expectation nowadays.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Too many men I know..think they hold all the cards. Raising the bar and expectations for their wives like they are something special. Well aint nothing special about a pen*s..most look the same and do the same job..and there certainly isnt anything special about man boobs, receding hairlines or beer guts. Thats a dime a dozen.. so i feel sorry for any good woman who has lost her husband's attention to porn stars..those girls need to tell their men to pack their bags and go see if candy cane or sparkle farts wants to take them in...🤣🤣🤣


This is reason #6893485030 why women need to be sure they have their own money. "Every woman should have her own purse." When a man supports you financially, you lose the right to any say in how you're treated. Financial independence is the only way women can expect to be treated with any sort of respect or dignity. Without it, men treat you like a slave or a pet. Sorry, I know that's an unpopular truth, but it continues to be the truth.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> True..and i wouldnt want to..lol. i have better things to spend my money on rather than fake boobs or bleaching my butthole...lol. i mean unless your man looking like dwayne johnson..then tell them good luck finding pam anderson or jenna jameson for a wife...lol.


"Bleaching my butthole" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Numb26 said:


> "Bleaching my butthole" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


I mean its fine if a woman wants to do these things..but it should only be because they want to..IMO..lol..plus not many of us can compete w the blown out orfices that u see in porn..idk many women who can fit watermelon sized objects or multiple objects into ANY hole..hahaha.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

TexasMom1216 said:


> This is reason #6893485030 why women need to be sure they have their own money. "Every woman should have her own purse." When a man supports you financially, you lose the right to any say in how you're treated. Financial independence is the only way women can expect to be treated with any sort of respect or dignity. Without it, men treat you like a slave or a pet. Sorry, I know that's an unpopular truth, but it continues to be the truth.


#truth 100%


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I mean its fine if a woman wants to do these things..but it should only be because they want to..IMO..lol..plus not many of us can compete w the blown out orfices that u see in porn..idk many women who can fit watermelon sized objects or multiple objects into ANY hole..hahaha.


The proverbial "Hotdog down a Hallway" syndrome


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I mean its fine if a woman wants to do these things..but it should only be because they want to..IMO..lol..plus not many of us can compete w the blown out orfices that u see in porn..idk many women who can fit watermelon sized objects or multiple objects into ANY hole..hahaha.


OMG. It's an inappropriate conversation, but RIGHT? That stuff is freaky to me. Yikes.

I do get waxed. It's not the same as bleaching (the lights are always off anyway) but it is invasive and pretty painful.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

TexasMom1216 said:


> OMG. It's an inappropriate conversation, but RIGHT? That stuff is freaky to me. Yikes.
> 
> I do get waxed. It's not the same as bleaching (the lights are always off anyway) but it is invasive and pretty painful.


Lots of us get waxed..and its fine to get bleached or whatever if it makes you feel good about yourself. Wives should never have to compete w porn stars or be expected to look or act like them.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Lots of us get waxed..and i*ts fine to get bleached or whatever if it makes you feel good about yourself*. Wives should never have to compete w porn stars or be expected to look or act like them.


I feel the same. I'm never going to be against any beauty stuff, I get Botox and have implants and am planning a facelift once we get the house all straight.

Perhaps wives shouldn't have to compete with porn stars, but the world isn't a perfect place and we do.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Well there aren't many women who look like porn stars. Even porn stars don't look like porn stars for more than 7-10 years.


Although with the rise of the internet, all the fetishes come out to play and the commonality of people who want other than the industry stereotype are getting their attention. The number of men who prefer more realistic female body types is surprisingly large, at least compared to what the older porn industry would have you believe. And there is a significant portion that are into the older generations, whether they are of that same generation or not.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Personal said:


> You're a somewhat prudish bunch.


Immoral heathen ...

You're not wrong. Sex occupies an odd space in the American zeitgeist. It is abundant and unavoidable regardless of your media of choice. We live in a time of sexual advocacy and empowerment. Yet ... a whole lot demonizing and shaming as well.

Regardless.

Folks Fekk.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> We need some youngsters in here.


I for one can't think of any reason young people wouldn't frequent a boomer echo chamber.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Deejo said:


> For example, why is Kim Kardashian famous again? Anyone?


Because OJ (allegedly)killed Nicole and Ron. Only reason, nothing more.


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