# Wife depressed, gave me ILYB, prescribed Citalopram



## hombre (Jul 7, 2009)

Hi Forum,

My wife (T11,M8,D5) recently gave me the ILYB speech and we are trying to save our marriage - a couple of setbacks but it is still looking quite positive. 

She went to the doctor last week and was prescribed Citalopram and counselling - since she has been taking Citalopram she has become very depressed, I understand that increased anxiety/depression is a side effect but I would love to hear from anyone who has experience of this drug? What should I do to support her? How long will it take to help her?

I also have depressive thoughts which I am trying to block out as they will just drag me down which will push her away.

She is on a 10mg/day dose.

Thanks,


Hombre


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

They presecribed that for my H, and it was HORRID. He is on Wellbutrin now, and it works much better for him. I know of a lot of people who have had issues with Citalopram. The increased anxiety/depression she is expereincing worries me, especially if a week in she is still feeling that way. It often takes 2-3 medicine changes or more to find the right med. If she is still feeling this way, she may want to talk to her doc about switching.


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## marriedlife (Aug 2, 2009)

I was prescribed citalopram. I was taking it for a couple of month and it didnt do anything good to me and then stopped working at all. I was very depressed and spent a couple of days in bed crying. Now I am off it and not taking any medicine. It is really hard , but I am trying to control myself. I dont want to take anything because I tried so many drugs and I didnt notice that it helped me at all. Try to be patient to your wife. Try to hug her and support her, say that you love her and help her to go through this. I know what she is going through. It is tough and it is the time she needs you the most. Good luck to you.


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

Is that the same as Celexa or Lexapro? I took many antidepressants and quit because of adverse side effects. Doctors always say to wait 6 months for the drugs to take effect. I believe antidepressant work best with talk therapy and if there is severe depression. If life circumstances are stressful, I don't think a magic pill will solve anything. If you want the marriage to work, I hope you are both going to marriage therapy together. 

P.S. What is (T11,M8,D5)?


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

i weaned myself off citalopram because of exactly what you describe.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

I took Citalopram it will take it 6-8 weeks to start working....... (my experience)... It worked great for me, but after about 2 years or so, its effectiveness will start to poop out. Once on it, it is very hard to get off, you must tapper off slowly over a period of months.It takes a long time for brain chemicals to adjust...Citalopram will ruin your sex drive


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Citalopram is the generic for Celexa. My husband started taking it a few months ago, so far so good. They started him out on 10mg for a few weeks then upped it to 20mg. I think that max dose for that is 40mg. 

Different medications work differently with different peoples bodies. Sometimes you have to keep trying until you find something that works for you. With all medications, at some point they either need their dosage levels checked and changed or changed to another medication. I do think too, over time some medications can build up and immunity to our bodies and need to changed.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Bad side effects inside of a week are bad. Swap it out for a different compound.,


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I think all medications have some kind of side effects. Some more than others. Hopefully you can find one that gives you the right balance.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I suffer from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), am always on edge, anxiety attacks, insomnia, can't turn off my brain, you get the picture. I was prescribed Celexa and it did nothing for me. One side effect was my whole body broke out in hives. It was to the point that I was using a wire brush and scratching my skin until it bled. I looked like I was attacked by 100 angry cats!

Also, it is no wonder you are depressed. Living with someone who is depressed is an awful experience. I am going through that right now, my H is EXTREMELY depressed and is a major alcoholic. He refuses to get help so I live in hell. So I am very depressed as well. It's like my house has a black fog all over it, so thick you can taste the ash.

Perhaps you should speak to someone about YOUR feelings. You matter too ya know. It can't always be about her feelings, her depression, her issues. Take it from someone who knows, nothing you do or say is going to make her feel better. Hopefully the drugs she is on now will help her out of the abyss, but until that happens, you must take care of yourself emotionally. Depression is very contagious, especially if you live in the same house with one. The attitude of "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT EM, JOIN EM" makes sense sometimes and I did exactly that. Worst mistake I ever made.

Again, please remember that you and your feelings matter just as much as hers. Please don't put your emotions second thinking you are helping her. For one, she won't notice your efforts which will hurt you. Second, she could notice your efforts and take great offense. 

Keep coming back to TAM, rant and share as often as you can. Purge yourself of negative and sad feelings. Keep telling yourself THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.


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