# trying to get dh to try testosterone.need help



## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

Try tomake this short my husband has suffered with ed issues. He got viagra and cealis, which worked better. We had a very rough summer, after 26 years my husband found himself in an emotional affair. We are both Christians and wanted to save our marriage, and things are wonderful. Except his lack of libido. I asked him to speak to our Dr.who said it is all a bunch of hooey meant to sell meds. Dh is on pristique and Dr felt libido would come back as we moved forward in our marriage.
I have since been awakened you may say, and it is so important to finish our recovery by feeling sexually desirable again. If I initiate I can mane things work, but I NEED to feel wanted again. I asked if the thought of models or other woman does it and he just doexsnt feel desire.
What I am asking is to share with me your stories, he said he would read experiences from real people. I cant thank you enough in advance. By the way I am 48 and he is 52. We used to enjoy sex, but it has been a few years of sporadic sex. Thank you


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Find a doctor who will do a testostrone level check. 

One thing that might help is a supliment called DHA. Look it up. My sister's husband was having a very hard time emotionally and otherwise. He's in his mid 50's. She crushed it up and added it to his orange juice. The change in him has been remarkable. He's out going again, happy and sexual.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

bellamaxjoy said:


> after 26 years my husband found himself in an emotional affair.


Sorry to butt in the mens clubhouse but my bet is this is more at the root of his problem than testosterone.

My hunch is what you need is therapy not testosterone.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

bellamaxjoy said:


> Try tomake this short my husband has suffered with ed issues. He got viagra and cealis, which worked better. We had a very rough summer, after 26 years my husband found himself in an emotional affair. We are both Christians and wanted to save our marriage, and things are wonderful. Except his lack of libido. I asked him to speak to our Dr.who said it is all a bunch of hooey meant to sell meds. Dh is on pristique and Dr felt libido would come back as we moved forward in our marriage.
> I have since been awakened you may say, and it is so important to finish our recovery by feeling sexually desirable again. If I initiate I can mane things work, but I NEED to feel wanted again. I asked if the thought of models or other woman does it and he just doexsnt feel desire.
> What I am asking is to share with me your stories, he said he would read experiences from real people. I cant thank you enough in advance. By the way I am 48 and he is 52. We used to enjoy sex, but it has been a few years of sporadic sex. Thank you


Does your husband have or has he had high cholesterol? High cholesterol levels can damage the pituitary gland and can cause a disruption in the production of testosterone. Your husband should see an endocrinologist and have a complete hormone level checkup. For his doctor to say its all hooey is so damned wrong. I can't begin to say how much that p!sses me off.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

stritle said:


> has he had his levels checked?
> i wouldn't just throw artificial test in the mix if it isn't medically needed
> his levels are probably diminishing, but that's normal for his age.
> there could be much more to it than just testosterone levels, people with true low levels usually have quite a few symptoms, not just a lack of libido.


I didn't even have a lack of libido. I was just exhausted all the time. It was my only symptom. My doctor commented that he was surprised I could still sexually function with levels as low as mine. I told him he hadn't met my wife.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Normal T levels are also crucial for bone and brain health.


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

We have therapy,thank you. He is tired a whole lot as well. When we talked he said it seems as if he just doesn't think about it. I have offered to do anything at all,fantasy wise ect. We cuddle ect, but it is always me initiating and I can usually get him semi hard,sometimes even hard,but I need him to start wanting me and sex again. He used to initiate it was about 50/50.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Normal T levels are also crucial for bone and brain health.


So that's what happened to me. My wife has been vindicated.


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

He at one time had cholesterol problems with dietary changes as well as fish oil put home down to one fifty!


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

bellamaxjoy said:


> He at one time had cholesterol problems with dietary changes as well as fish oil put home down to one fifty!


That's excellent. I too worked very hard to eventually get my cholesterol under control. However my pituitary gland had already been damaged to the point that it couldn't produce enough testosterone to keep me going. I give myself injections every week to keep my levels normal and believe me it has made a huge difference in my life.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

I can't supplement with Testosterone due to prostate cancer (something now associated with low testosterone), but a bodybuilding style program of heavy weightlifting greatly boosts my t levels. My libido maxes out 36-48 hours after heavy leg presses.


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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

Beowulf said:


> I didn't even have a lack of libido. I was just exhausted all the time. It was my only symptom. My doctor commented that he was surprised I could still sexually function with levels as low as mine. I told him he hadn't met my wife.


This was my situation as well. No drop in performance or desire, but felt tired and drained, depressed for no reason etc, all the other symptoms. I too think it was my wife that kept things going. She know how to motivate me. Feel 100% better now. It's definitely a benefit to me to use the test supplement.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just wondering what his numbers are.....if/when you get him tested .??

I sent my husband to get his #'s checked when he couldn't keep up with me, I did question his desire off & on ...but I was REALLY pushing it too, he wasn't a young stud anymore. 

I just wanted to see where he was at -hormonally... He had 9 morning tests over a 6 month period (this was 3 yrs ago)... they ranged from the lowest being 323 -to the highest being 503... His Encronologist scared the daylights out of me saying his #'s were normal for a man in his 60's (he was only 45)... I worried about that darn comment for months, feeling he is an old man now, it is all going down hill.

He didn't need treatment though. Not yet anyway...she did tell me he might someday. He doesn't fall asleep after work, he has never been depressed. And we manage to go at it alot considering -but I often have to get him going, except for mornings. (Mornings are the best time for aging men ). 

During that time he had some stress at work... so maybe his numbers were lower than normal, I don't know. I started watching more carefully how he ate, making sure he got enough sleep at night.....giving him vitamins every day, we exercised for a time together....He started lifting (I can't say this did anything though.). 

Vitamins I give him every day...

Fish oil 1000mg
Ginkg Biloba 120mg
c-500mg
a Men's Multivitamin
Vit D
DHEA 25mg
ZINC 25mg
B-12 100mcg


The whole cholesterol thing worries me as cholesterol is what makes TESTOSTERONE and when you take statins, it lowers production...we near stopped his taking it ... he has no family history of heart disease.... not sure we are doing the right thing, life is a risk. 

It seems one drug corrects one thing, then it screws with something else. You can't win! 

IN the meantime, here is a link on how to raise levels naturally...

How to Increase Testosterone Levels Naturally

.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Just wondering what his numbers are.....if/when you get him tested .??
> 
> I sent my husband to get his #'s checked when he couldn't keep up with me, I did question his desire off & on ...but I was REALLY pushing it too, he wasn't a young stud anymore.
> 
> ...


l-arginine,and l-lysine are also good to add to the mix.
started taking it recently for heart health and have noticed a plesent surprise.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

bellamaxjoy said:


> Try tomake this short my husband has suffered with ed issues. He got viagra and cealis, which worked better. We had a very rough summer, after 26 years my husband found himself in an emotional affair. We are both Christians and wanted to save our marriage, and things are wonderful. Except his lack of libido. I asked him to speak to our Dr.who said it is all a bunch of hooey meant to sell meds. Dh is on pristique and Dr felt libido would come back as we moved forward in our marriage.
> I have since been awakened you may say, and it is so important to finish our recovery by feeling sexually desirable again. If I initiate I can mane things work, but I NEED to feel wanted again. I asked if the thought of models or other woman does it and he just doexsnt feel desire.
> What I am asking is to share with me your stories, he said he would read experiences from real people. I cant thank you enough in advance. By the way I am 48 and he is 52. We used to enjoy sex, but it has been a few years of sporadic sex. Thank you


Hi bella ~

My H takes injections for low testosterone. He started them back last fall, and it has helped him a lot. BUT, low T is something that your H would need to get tested for by a doctor and the dosages and his response to it need to be monitored by a doctor. My H will be on injections for the rest of his life, so he will always need to have some level of monitoring/adjustment by a physician.

My H did not have libido problems, he still desired sex and we continued to have sex 2 - 3 times a week. He also did not have ED, although the quality of his erections has improved on the testosterone. Mostly, he was extremely fatigued. He also felt like he had 'brain fog' and was not very alert. He noticed that he did not respond to exercise and his weight training as readily - muscle mass did not increase like it used to. Initially, he had been convinced it was just normal aging (he just turned 50!).

So, if your H's doctor is unwilling to test him, find a new doctor who will. I don't much like doctors that are willing to brush off people's legitimate concerns and symptoms.

My H's doctor seemed like he was going to be reluctant to test him too because my H didn't have very strong sexual problems, but because of the other issues, the doctor tested him -- and are we glad he did. My H had very low levels - well below the normal range low of 300, and way, way below the normal of around 600 for a 50 year old man.

Also, your H should have his thyroid checked and his vitamin D levels checked. They also can cause the same kinds of symptoms.

You said that your husband is also on Pristique. How long has he been on that? The side effects for Pristique do have sexual implications for men. He may need to explore whether that medication is contributing to part of his issue as well.

After you look at and eliminate all of these physical possibilities, you will need to consider the emotional/relational ones. You said that he was in an EA, so that indicates there has been something in himself emotionally going on. What has he been doing to work on that aspect of it? Have you two been going to any counseling - alone or together?

Best wishes.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Just wondering what his numbers are.....if/when you get him tested .??
> 
> I sent my husband to get his #'s checked when he couldn't keep up with me, I did question his desire off & on ...but I was REALLY pushing it too, he wasn't a young stud anymore.
> 
> ...


Funny, I already take everything except the DHEA. But I did try that at one point. Did nothing.

In my case I was already lifting weights and exercising well. I was probably in the best shape I'd even been in. But I was always tired. Always. My cholesterol was over 500 at one point when I was younger. It seems my body just produces too much. Diet didn't matter. I started taking cholesterol lowering drugs and now my levels are fine. But when it was over 500 is when the doctor said my pituitary probably was damaged. It wasn't the drugs statins that caused the testosterone issue. My test levels were so low that nothing would have raised them into the normal range without the supplement.


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

Thank you for all replys. Is DHEA the same as DHA? Someone mentioned DHA. We have been in therapy and are committed Christians and getting help there as well. My husband basically had a mid life crisis, and with help heis getting better. He was on lexipro but he couldn't even get slightly hard. The pristique doesn't bother him there he says. Mostly we do it in the morning anymore because he gets harder easier,,but sometimes he cant o.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> The whole cholesterol thing worries me as cholesterol is what makes TESTOSTERONE and when you take statins, it lowers production...we near stopped his taking it ... he has no family history of heart disease.... not sure we are doing the right thing, life is a risk.


Of course, the biggest problem with statins is that they increase the overall death rate.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

chillymorn said:


> l-arginine,and l-lysine are also good to add to the mix.
> started taking it recently for heart health and have noticed a plesent surprise.


Believe me, I was a reading machine in my search to boost my husband's libido, both of those were on my Puritan's Pride shipment, but in my readings of L-arginine...I came across conflicting data on whether it may RAISE his glucose levels (causes them to be extra sensitive).... and my husband is near pre-diabetic, the man could not loose any more weight, he only weighs 150, and I last thing I want to do is give him something to throw him into diabetes -cause then Metformin lowers TEST too ! 

L-Arginine?

I don't know what the truth is ...for a time I was pricking his finger after meals to test him, it escalated my worry. His last  A1C  was 5.8 , itching up there. 

Metformin Lowers Testosterone How Much?

And the side effecfs for l-lysine -didn't sound good to me, sounds like it should only be taken temporarily.... or it could mess with your kidneys and cause stomach issues, he already has a weaker stomach, at least in comparison to me. LYSINE: Uses, Side Effects, Interactions and Warnings - WebMD

I aslo had him try tried Tongkat Ali ....that made his skin crawl where I couldn't touch him, that was the end of that experiment, that one is suppose to decrease Blood sugar levels, that is why It appealed to me. Most of the stuff I read claimed this, who knows!

Tongkat Ali - What You Need to Know About Tongkat Ali

Like I say...one thing might help, then screw something else up , where he needs another drug . I need to be extra careful with him cause he is already a Lower Test man.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Enchantment said:


> My H did not have libido problems, he still desired sex and we continued to have sex 2 - 3 times a week. He also did not have ED, although the quality of his erections has improved on the testosterone.


I bet he would have if you was trying to get as much sex out of him as I was my husband , ha ha , I was trying for 2 times a day. I learned once was pretty much his limit, though on 2 occasions , without any help, I managed to get him twice in a day. I was very excited about that, like I just won the freaking lottery or something. It was a HUGE deal to me-- that he is OK. I was very disturbed that other men his age had a refractory period of just an hour or so, where for him it seemed he needed a nights rest or an erection med to do it again. 

I would have never even noticed a thing if all I wanted was 2 -3 times a week. 

Alot of men in their 40's still desire sex at least once a day, some even masterbate on top of that, so I figured...what is wrong with him, doesn't he NEED IT ? No, he didn't need it....I wanted him to NEED it....so off to the Doc to get his hormomes checked, I didn't waste any time. He wasn't upset about it. 

One of his Free Testosterone levels was LOWER than the accepted guidelines -that worried me too but the Encron said he was fine. Even one of his thryroid tests was low, then the next one was normal...... I always get the lab report sent to my house, I want the results in my hand... so I can worry and obsess about it , I guess. Ha ha


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I bet he would have if you was trying to get as much sex out of him as I was my husband , ha ha , I was trying for 2 times a day. I learned once was pretty much his limit, though on 2 occasions , without any help, I managed to get him twice in a day. I was very excited about that, like I just won the freaking lottery or something. It was a HUGE deal to me-- that he is OK. I was very disturbed that other men his age had a refractory period of just an hour or so, where for him it seemed he needed a nights rest or an erection med to do it again.
> 
> I would have never even noticed a thing if all I wanted was 2 -3 times a week.
> 
> ...


lol... My H DID want it everyday ... even with his low T. 

It's me that cannot manage that. I had to laugh at him - how we were such a sorry lot in our 40's - getting all the problems that are more typical in older age at middle age. When I got to be 44 all I started to have were health problems - one after the other after the other - and I had always been thin and fit and healthy as a horse prior to that. But when my thyroid konked out and perimenopause hit - it was like I had been hit and run over by a train. Still working at it to get my legs back under me, so to speak.

We might have been able to detect his low T sooner if I had been able to be more active about things. Instead, I know he had to forego a lot in order to accommodate me because of all of my health issues - which I appreciate SO much from him that I can't even say in words how much that makes me love him. Oh well - as you say - water under the bridge now. Like I tell him - well I don't have to worry about getting THESE problems when I'm old - I've already had to deal with and learn to live with them.


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