# 10 months later, AP shows up at my house asking for answers...



## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

Hello everyone. I haven't been on here for awhile, but my ex husband had an affair with his married co worker last year. I found out in December and kicked him out that day, filed for divorce in December. In June my ex and I had a fake reconciliation and well he was in a relationship with her still. She put spyware on his phone and he came clean to me about it. Only out of fear she would tell me. I honestly had no idea he was still involved with her. I ended our relationship AGAIN. And I changed my phone number etc. Well today I'm walking out of my garage, and I run right into her. 

I am so angry, although I handled myself in a very calm and mature way. I have taken the high road since our marriage ended and will continue to. She wanted answers about my relationship "with her boyfriend". Imagine that! She has an affair with my husband, and she leaves her husband, and now doesn't trust him? 

It's amazing how people can totally forget their part and blame everything on someone else. Basically she told me "she wasn't the reason for my divorce, she didn't cause the affair and she's a victim". Come on! She knowingly slept with my husband, went on about how she couldn't wait for them to be together all the time and how she told him she loved him first". They are both guilty! It wasn't just him. I don't need her to relieve her guilty conscience. I've moved on! If she doesn't trust him, that his fault and her fault. It has nothing to do with me. She needs to get her answers from him. And if she doesn't trust him, that's something she should look at as a red flag. 

I'm so glad they both screwed up their marriages for each other. I'm happy to know this is working out for them. I told her I had no respect for her or him. And the look of shock on her face was hilarious. Should I have handled this differently and spoke to her. After I said what I said, I turned around, told her I had nothing to say to her and asked her to leave. I still can't believe the balls on her. She didn't care when she helped destroy my life. She was fine with it. So yeah! I don't owe them anything... Thanks for any comments or for just reading this and allowing me to vent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Well played Kaya62003 - they deserve no more of your precious time. Good luck for the future.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

Horizon said:


> Well played Kaya62003 - they deserve no more of your precious time. Good luck for the future.


Thank you for saying so...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mzflower (Aug 3, 2013)

Wow! They deserve each other. You handled it well and with class!


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Kaya you handled it perfectly!

It's astounding that she was shocked with your reaction. It just goes to show that she's living in a fantasy world. 

You're doing great. They'll both reap what they've sown. Mistrust will consume them. Keep on keepin on.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

walkonmars said:


> Kaya you handled it perfectly!
> 
> It's astounding that she was shocked with your reaction. It just goes to show that she's living in a fantasy world.
> 
> You're doing great. They'll both reap what they've sown. Mistrust will consume them. Keep on keepin on.



Thanks you two! I'm trying to let it be what it is. She doesn't want to admit she had an equal part in this. They definitely deserve each other and I'm glad I'm getting over it. It's amazing how that "fantasy girl" loses her pizazz when you move in together and she starts acting like your wife. I appreciate everyone's encouragement and support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Bravo Kaya!
I bet the cold shoulder hurt her deeply. I am so glad you didn't give her the satisfaction of watching how much their actions hurt you!!
You are a strong, wonderful, and amazing woman.

So glad the OW is living in hell, well deserved!!!


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

You are a strong, tolerant, smart woman. Me? Id be getting out of jail right about now.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

You all are awesome! I appreciate ALL of your kind words of wisdom. This has been a nightmare. It sucked very bad and I'd not wish this experience on my worst enemy. But I feel I've grown stronger because of it and I'm happier with me, because of this experience. 

With that said, it was kind of pathetic of her to come to me. I almost feel pity for her. But I don't care enough anymore. That's how I know this chapter is almost over in my life. Thank you god!!! Ha! 

My wish for anyone going through this, is they will stay strong, do the 180, do not compare yourself to OM/OW (because obviously their more threatened by you) and the best revenge is moving on and being happy. Everything will get better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Thank you for posting this. Someone will be inspired by your power.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

illwill said:


> Thank you for posting this. Someone will be inspired by your power.


Thanks for saying so. I hope anyone going through this will be persevere through this and realize it's for the best. I know I have...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Actually, I would have thrown in the monkey wrench. Something like, I'm glad you've got him , he's always been unfaithful to everyone he's been with...... And could you keep is cheatin ass away from me, I absolutely don't want him back.
Or, he's still with you, I thought he was going with Suzy.
She deserves much worse.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

nah, I'm going to have to give you a solid F, you had a duty of care to sort this arrogant woman out 

I think it's clear what her actions show was the level of contempt she actually had for you. You were beneath her, so she had no trouble coming to your house and confronting you like that. The high road takes a lot of strength to travel, but for a cheater like her, she will never know any peace or true happiness, even if she fakes it. She wanted a rise out of you and didn't get it. Well done


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I hope she leaves you alone now.

They will both cheat on each other. The unicorns in fantasy land will get them with the end.

Hope you find happiness in your future.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She is looking for closure to a future failed relationship..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

_I'm so glad they both screwed up their marriages for each other. I'm happy to know this is working out for them. I told her I had no respect for her or him. And the look of shock on her face was hilarious._

Sweet!


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Wow, Kaya

You handled that perfectly. They are still searching for happiness and will never find it together or apart because they haven't grown like you have. Although I suspect you were already more mature and wiser than either of them from the start. You're already better off and its just going to get better for you. For them....not so much.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

You should have implied something was going on and told her it's not your fault her relationship is failing.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Kaya62003 said:


> You all are awesome! I appreciate ALL of your kind words of wisdom. This has been a nightmare. It sucked very bad and I'd not wish this experience on my worst enemy. But I feel I've grown stronger because of it and I'm happier with me, because of this experience.
> 
> With that said, it was kind of pathetic of her to come to me. I almost feel pity for her. But I don't care enough anymore. That's how I know this chapter is almost over in my life. Thank you god!!! Ha!
> 
> ...


She is so delusional I think she has been watching too many lifetime Movies

Thinking she can get relationship advice from you
WTF


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

^^^ Funny!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Kaya62003 said:


> Hello everyone. I haven't been on here for awhile, but my ex husband had an affair with his married co worker last year. I found out in December and kicked him out that day, filed for divorce in December. In June my ex and I had a fake reconciliation and well he was in a relationship with her still. She put spyware on his phone and he came clean to me about it. Only out of fear she would tell me. I honestly had no idea he was still involved with her. I ended our relationship AGAIN. And I changed my phone number etc. Well today I'm walking out of my garage, and I run right into her.
> 
> I am so angry, although I handled myself in a very calm and mature way. I have taken the high road since our marriage ended and will continue to. She wanted answers about my relationship "with her boyfriend". Imagine that! She has an affair with my husband, and she leaves her husband, and now doesn't trust him?
> 
> ...


What a shame she did not step foot in your garage. Then you could have peppered sprayed the intruder.

Oh well.....

You handled yourself well, like an adult and you should be proud of yourself.

HM


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

How is your daughter taking the up/down relationship that occurred this summer? Still on good terms w/her dad? Any fallout for you from her?


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

Hahaha! It was surprisingly healing to have her come to me last night. She has no hold or power over me anymore. She showed me how pathetic, insecure and unhappy with her choices she is. She can live in denial and have her delusions. How I handled it proved I'm healing. She isn't worth anything to me.

Walkonmars- my daughter is my best friend. She has 2 hearts next to my name on her phone. She is very loyal to me. Ex hubby quit talking to her because it makes AP feel threatened. His loss not ours...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2yearsago (Jun 28, 2013)

That was absolutely perfect. You should feel amazing about yourself. I applaud you!

To your point it is amazing when people will not take responsibility for their own actions. It's a coping mechanism I guess but it is just ridiculous. Being a "victim" must be easier.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

They are both cheaters....telling her you and he had a brief R probably wouldnt have done much, they would have fought and moved forward together

but leaving her in the dark is so much more rewarding...imo...I would have told her "welcom to my world...being in the dark and not knowing...I aint telling you S-H-I-T"


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Have you thought about what you will do, when your H, seriously does come crawling back to you, and tries to manipulate you back into a relationship--

--he will you know, cuz the thing with her---it ain't working, already---and in all reality, even tho he threw you away, it is you he knows best


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

You all crack me up so much. Thank you for all the humorous and thoughtful responses. She's very delusional in very sad pathetic way. I heard from a coworker of theirs he is cheating on her already. It's very good I'm out of this relationship. Even though I'm dating a few AWESOME men, I'm happy I'm on my own. It's nice to be over this. I would like comeuppance to pay him a visit. Because it seems like she is getting it. It's not very fair for only her to receive it when they're both involved equally in destroying so much around them.

She has a huge set of lady balls, because I believe her "sure thing soul mate relationship" has started to sour. And she doesn't know who to turn to for answers. Oh well! If you have an affair, and things go south, you need to consider how the relationship started. And if you're too stupid to notice that, then you deserve what you get.

Anyway! Thank god I don't have to go through this anymore. There is no way I'd take him back. Hell would have to freeze over and we'd have to be ice skating home. And I would still not take him back then. I'm done! I love the man I thought he was. And he is nothing that anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

The reason she could approach you like that is the reason she could have an affair with a married man without a qualm. Entitled princess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Ironically, relationships that come out of A's statistically have a high failure rate. In this case both engaged in lies, deception, etc. A very poor foundation to begin a relationship.

So she wants answers. I would have been tempted to say, you are the thrid woman today that contacted me asking me questions. I really don't care who Suzie or Brenda are and told them the same thing. Ask my ex.


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## disconnected (May 30, 2013)

mattmatt said:


> the reason she could approach you like that is the reason she could have an affair with a married man without a qualm. Entitled princess.
> _posted via mobile device_


e x a c t l y !!!


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## disconnected (May 30, 2013)

I've spent the past week packing and preparing to leave Asia. I wish I had read this thread when it started.

F A N T A S T I C tactics!! Wow. If I could have managed to read this thread from the time it was posted it would have really lifted my spirits, and made the roller coaster emotions GO AWAY!!

Haha, the future looks great for her, doesn't it.

I loved reading your thread just now. I hope there is more to come. Thanks for lifting my spirits just now.

Quick update ... I've just arrived back in Australia from living in Asia. I found the last week incredibly hard but now that I am home I can see that things can only get better.

Kaya, I hope you have more updates along the same lines. How incredible that these OWs or APs see themselves as blameless in these 'friendships'. They need to be held responsible/accountable for the pain they cause BS and children.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

If you see her in your driveway again, you could very quickly back your car out of the garage. Those things happen you know. 

Just kidding, I would hate for you to dent your car. 

Keep them both in the past. You owe neither of them anything and have more constructive things to focus on like your daughter, yourself, your new life minus the cheating partner, etc. 

All the best
Wad
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Kaya62003 said:


> If you have an affair, and things go south, you need to consider how the relationship started._Posted via Mobile Device_


A boat built from crap will float, but it's still mad out of crap.

It's nice to hear that the SS Doody is already taking on water.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

If I had the OM come to my house demanding answers I would tell him to GTFO my property or i'm calling the cops for tresspassing. The nerve of some people.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> A boat built from crap will float, but it's still mad out of crap.
> 
> It's nice to hear that the SS Doody is already taking on water.


True, but no matter how much you polish it still won't shine.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> A boat built from crap will float, but it's still mad out of crap.
> 
> It's nice to hear that the SS Doody is already taking on water.


Yeah and we all know who's swabbing the poop deck.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Lol. Was it a gas pocket that caused the leak. 

I know this response needs to be flushed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## livinfree (Sep 7, 2012)

You rock with class


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

workindad said:


> Lol. Was it a gas pocket that caused the leak.
> 
> I know this response needs to be flushed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Off topic but, the reason we call it sh!t Today is, manure was shipped all over the world(fertilizer for places that couldn't support cattle, i.e. manure) in the days of yore.

The problem that they found was if manure was stored to low in the ships cargo hold, it tended to get wet in transit(as wooden ships back then tended to always leak a little).

When you added sea water to the manure you got something extra out of the dampened dung - METHANE GAS!

The next crew member to get too close with an oil lamp and BOOM!

To bails of manure were then marked with a warning label.

*S*hip *H*igh *I*n *T*ransit.

Now you know your sh!t.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Thorburn said:


> I would have been tempted to say, you are the thrid woman today that contacted me asking me questions. I really don't care who Suzie or Brenda are and told them the same thing. Ask my ex.


Oh yes!!!!! Lololol!!!!


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

Sanity said:


> If I had the OM come to my house demanding answers I would tell him to GTFO my property or i'm calling the cops for tresspassing. The nerve of some people.


not me...Id invite him in

and then remind him that the state WE live in has "THE CASTLE DOCTRINE" adopted as law...and that I can legally put many many bullets in his head..then I would show him the handgun with said bullets just waiting to be in his head

then I would ask him to leave...:smthumbup:


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Kaya, sheer panache and style. 
Beautifully handled. :smnotworthy:

May they live happily ever after. :rofl:


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

I am just happy to be free of both of them. They can have their delusions and petty bs. It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me anymore. THANK YOU GOD. 

I have heard he has been cheating on her too. So who knows. At this point, I do not give an eff anymore. This chapter of my life is over and I am on to bigger and better things...


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> Off topic but, the reason we call it sh!t Today is, manure was shipped all over the world(fertilizer for places that couldn't support cattle, i.e. manure) in the days of yore.
> 
> The problem that they found was if manure was stored to low in the ships cargo hold, it tended to get wet in transit(as wooden ships back then tended to always leak a little).
> 
> ...


hahahaha! thanks :rofl:


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## brokenhearted2 (Aug 23, 2012)

C


Kaya62003 said:


> hahahaha! thanks :rofl:


This is a real " feel good" post. Someone should start another karma thread on here! I love those. 
Best of luck to you, OP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nancy.ramos (Oct 16, 2012)

Kaya62003 said:


> Hello everyone. I haven't been on here for awhile, but my ex husband had an affair with his married co worker last year. I found out in December and kicked him out that day, filed for divorce in December. In June my ex and I had a fake reconciliation and well he was in a relationship with her still. She put spyware on his phone and he came clean to me about it. Only out of fear she would tell me. I honestly had no idea he was still involved with her. I ended our relationship AGAIN. And I changed my phone number etc. Well today I'm walking out of my garage, and I run right into her.
> 
> I am so angry, although I handled myself in a very calm and mature way. I have taken the high road since our marriage ended and will continue to. She wanted answers about my relationship "with her boyfriend". Imagine that! She has an affair with my husband, and she leaves her husband, and now doesn't trust him?
> 
> ...


You handled it well Kaya! i agree with the above poster that this is a happy post


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

Thanks! I'm glad you two think so. We need to hear some "happier" stories after the hell we all have been through. I agree with the Karma thread needing to be started again...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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