# Feeling empty



## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

My life feels so empty without children. 

I know everyone is going to say do something else etc, but it just doesn't work that way. There is just such an emptiness inside me right now.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You are 18 years old. Go get an education, go learn about life. Go to Paris. Hell, go to Philly.

A child does not make you a full person. Being a full person makes you a full person. I don't know why you have this fixation, but it's a pretty huge burden to place on a small infant.

Be a person. Go figure out how to be a person. And then you can reproduce. But not before.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

lamaga said:


> You are 18 years old. Go get an education, go learn about life. Go to Paris. Hell, go to Philly.
> 
> A child does not make you a full person. Being a full person makes you a full person. I don't know why you have this fixation, but it's a pretty huge burden to place on a small infant.
> 
> Be a person. Go figure out how to be a person. And then you can reproduce. But not before.


Excuse me? I am not 18 years old, I HAVE an education, and I know all about life, what it has to offer, and what I can bring to it. I have traveled my fair share in my short life.

I will place NO burden on my child. I do not expect to instantly become a full person when my child arrives, as I already CERTAINLY feel like I am a full person. HOWEVER, there is still an emptiness that sits in my heart, longing for a child.

I am a person, I know how to be a person, and I will try to reproduce when I damn well feel ready, and that time is now.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

you stated in your other post that you were 18 years old when you got pregnant. So wow, maybe you are 19.

You are still too young.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

lamaga said:


> you stated in your other post that you were 18 years old when you got pregnant. So wow, maybe you are 19.
> 
> You are still too young.


I am not 18, or 19, I am 23 years old, going to be 24 in a few short months. 

Go reread my post, I never said I was 18 when I got pregnant.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Unhappy2011 said:


> Spoken like a true teenager.


Except, I am not a teenager.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Unhappy2011 said:


> I could not resist saying that.
> 
> Really I don't think Lamaga's suggestion is so off base.
> 
> ...


I personally do see it as VERY off base when they have no idea who I am.

I am married, we have been struggling with infertility for 5 years.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Infertility sucks no doubt about it no matter how old you are.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Infertility does suck and I'm sorry you are experiencing it 

It's saddening and angering and frustrating. 

I hope your time comes soon. You still have lots of time...I know, I know...you want a baby now. I know. But you still have lots of time.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

that_girl said:


> You still have lots of time...I know, I know...you want a baby now. I know. But you still have lots of time.


Actually I don't. I have cysts on my cervix, which can make my cervix incompetent with time, and I may have to have a partial hysterectomy because of the amount of cysts on my ovaries. My time is quickly closing in. I don't have a normal system.


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

Sorry you reached out and got attacked. As I man, I can't put myself in your shoes. But there are alternatives. How does your husband feel about it? I was lukewarm, but W really wanted it, so took a home equity loan & went the IVF route. If that didn't work, we would have looked at adoption.

I can only suggest you don't let it consume you.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

We are going to see a reproductive endocrinologist next month tu discuss options.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Tikii said:


> Actually I don't. I have cysts on my cervix, which can make my cervix incompetent with time, and I may have to have a partial hysterectomy because of the amount of cysts on my ovaries. My time is quickly closing in. I don't have a normal system.


Do you want children in your life, or do you want to give birth?

Because your options for raising children are not limited to giving birth. There are many children out there who need homes and loving parents.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

I am not open to the idea of adoption at this point. I don't feel it is the right thing for my family. Being pregnant and giving birth is extremely important to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

So.. are you currently pregnant or not? I'm a bit confused on that part...


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

No, I'm not pregnant...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Tikii said:


> Actually I don't. I have cysts on my cervix, which can make my cervix incompetent with time, and I may have to have a partial hysterectomy because of the amount of cysts on my ovaries. My time is quickly closing in. I don't have a normal system.


Ok.. so you want to get pregnant but there's a problem with your ovaries and.... this problem is putting a time limit on you being able to get pregnant? Is that correct? 

You haven't found any treatment options for this problem?


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Basically, and we have tried medications and have had no luck. We are seeing a specialist next month to discuss options.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I hope you find something that helps. If you can't then don't discount adoption.. even adopted kids can be a great joy. Good luck next month Tikii.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Probably the cysts are mechanically preventing sperm from reaching your eggs. I bet seeing a competent reproductive specialist will set things right. It sounds like you are well aware of your issues and desires and have a plan. Give it your best shot and if you don't reach success on that path, switch to Plan B and if necessary Plan C, all of which I'm sure you have up your sleeve. In the meantime, do all you can to make sure you will have time with your child/ren when he/she/they arrive. I don't think there is anything wrong with strongly desiring children in your life and feeling afloat at sea without them. Biologically and spiritually, we are designed to have children. Some choose not to, or in spite of everything, can't, but invariably children cross their paths in one way or another, and so everyone contributes one way or another to the next generation.
I bet whether you have your own children or not, you will come across at least one youngster you will feel a bond with, Native Americans and others call these spirit children/spirit parent relationships. They are very special. You will feel a sort of instant recognition, that's how you know. It's even more so when the spirit child is your own. So may that happen to you.


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

Thanks. I'm just not sure adoption is what's best for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tikii (Jun 21, 2012)

My main problem is that I a am not producing mature eggs. Thanks!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Knicknaks (Jun 30, 2012)

hey tikii i understand ur desire to get pregnant and do it naturally! i had my son when i was 19 and it was planned as it was all i ever wanted, being a mother is the most wonderful thing in life and i hope u are succesful in your path to conceive!

I am now married and want more children but mu husband dosent want anymore and i feel lost and alone as he dosent understand how important it is too me to have another child, be a mother and the feeling i get knowing a child is inside me! 

i wish you all the luck in the world and hope and pray you are blessed!


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