# please help...any advice is welcome



## leaster928 (Feb 13, 2012)

My Husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We met in high school aand stayed in touch. We have two children together a 3 yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. We have been having problems with fighting over money, friends due to him wanting to go out and party, me having control issues, and discipline. I feel like I pushed him away and didn't respect him, I made it hard for him to.live with me, I didn't even like myself.
In October he decided he wanted to end things. I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, begged and pleaded with him pushing him even further away. He was still in the house but made it clear that he was done. He stopped coming home staying out and partying. On Thanksgiving he moved out saying he just needed sometime to clear his head and think. The beginning of December I found out he had started a relationship with another girl and that she was 6wks pregnant. They are now living together. My husband says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now and that was the original plan until she ended up pregnant. Now he says he doesn't want to end it bc he doesn't want to be the heartless guy that kicks out a pregnant girl.
He tells me that he needs to see that I've changed for the long term but if he's really interested in getting back together I say he needs to end it with the other girl and he says he can't. 
I may sound stupid but I love this man and want to work things out. Yes, I know that he cheated and is having a baby with a mother woman. I know that its going to be hard work and we will always have a reminder of what happened. But, I love him and I know deep down he loves me too, I just don't know how to get him away from her to be able to work on us. 
I have started to love myself again, taking care of me and am happier than I have been in awhile. But I know I want him back and that we once were so happy and I can't help but have hope that we can be together again. Please help me. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Not only has he cheated, but she is knocked up, and he is puting his energy into her.

He is lost and frankly unworthy of your love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howtofigureitout (Feb 9, 2012)

Yah this is a rough one, its one thing if he just cheated, which is bad. But to get another woman pregnant. She is probably going to be in his life some way or another. Its a very difficult situation to be in. 

As you said you were not happy with yourself. Its good that you are working on yourself and you have to be happy with the person that you are. Keep focusing on yourself and your kids.

Sorry I don't have any great advice, him saying that he is done with the relationship and that he can't end it with the other girl is somewhat telling. He says he doesn't want to be a jerk who leaves a pregnant woman, but he is the one who left the mother of his two children and had an affair.

I hope everything works out for you and encourage you to keep finding things that make you happy and to focus on your kids. Its a rough time ahead, that is for sure. But you will come out on the other end.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

When someone says they "can't"

It means they "won't"


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