# i think my therapist needs a therapist of her own!



## ladybug16 (Sep 4, 2010)

I just got back from my therapist appt and I have had enough! She is not helping me at all, and frankly I think she is trying to help my husband and I move farther apart from each other! When I ask her, shouldn't my husband and I be talking by now and seeing each other face to face, she says, well I can see. Its torchering you so I would only want him to talk to you for that reason! Are you freakin kidding me?? Wouldn't a therapist that sees you and your husband individually be encouraging us to speak, even if we don't end our marriiage in a divorce? I don't get it! My husband is so built up with anger and won't face me, I just think this therapist should be helping us come together like two adults!

Sorry, I had to vent this out. If you want to read my story I am on this board under "confused, maybe in denial" just so you can get a better idea. 

I feel a little better now after venting!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadsoul (Aug 10, 2010)

Im going through the same thing. When my wife and I went to our last therapy visit together, the therapist said we would eventually come in together some time in the future. I said that I would like to schedule that now because I didn't believe it was going to happen unless it was scheduled. The therapist said that I was trying to do her job and she would decide when she felt like we were ready. The sad thing is that your spouse may never be ready or volunteer. The therapist can schedule it but who knows if your spouse will come. In my case I still bring it up from time to time. The therapist still agrees that it will happen soon. I know when I get my chance I will stay positive regardless of what my wife says. In our last couples therapy my wife pretty much said that she didn't love any more. I acted very negative to the whole thing. I was hurt and I let it show the wrong way. Im going to look at what she says in a more constructive manor. Instead of being negative I will work on being more understanding. Let her know that I accept how she feels but still love her and want to work through our differences in therapy. Ask her to *CHOOSE* to work on our relationship. Ultimately we can *CHOOSE* to work together to get through the rough spot in our marriage. Nothing has happened that can't be repaired. She just has to *CHOOSE* to work on it. If she is not ready now, I guess i'll be patient. I will eventually have a breaking point but don't see it happening any time soon.


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## ladybug16 (Sep 4, 2010)

sadsoul said:


> Im going through the same thing. When my wife and I went to our last therapy visit together, the therapist said we would eventually come in together some time in the future. I said that I would like to schedule that now because I didn't believe it was going to happen unless it was scheduled. The therapist said that I was trying to do her job and she would decide when she felt like we were ready. The sad thing is that your spouse may never be ready or volunteer. The therapist can schedule it but who knows if your spouse will come. In my case I still bring it up from time to time. The therapist still agrees that it will happen soon. I know when I get my chance I will stay positive regardless of what my wife says. In our last couples therapy my wife pretty much said that she didn't love any more. I acted very negative to the whole thing. I was hurt and I let it show the wrong way. Im going to look at what she says in a more constructive manor. Instead of being negative I will work on being more understanding. Let her know that I accept how she feels but still love her and want to work through our differences in therapy. Ask her to *CHOOSE* to work on our relationship. Ultimately we can *CHOOSE* to work together to get through the rough spot in our marriage. Nothing has happened that can't be repaired. She just has to *CHOOSE* to work on it. If she is not ready now, I guess i'll be patient. I will eventually have a breaking point but don't see it happening any time soon.



I take comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this situation. I am not returning to this therapist anymore, plus I feel like she might know things my husband tells her and can't disclose to me, so I am seeing someone different. I think it's the best idea for me right now. I like how you said you will let your wife know that you accept how she feels but that you still love her, cause I feel exactly like that with my husband. I think I might use your advice about "choosing", cause like you said about your situation, it's not like it can't be repaired, and that's the same with mine. Patience is the key word here, and unfortunately, I don't have a lot of it.  but I will be forced to have it right now and see what happens in time. Thanks for your post!


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