# Walking the road to recovery



## Wideopn Dave (Apr 11, 2013)

Hey all,

Its been a long while since i have posted here. A lot has happened in such a short time; this time last year was 6 weeks post d-day.

Two days ago, I moved house. My daughter and I had discussed selling our family home (ground zero) and I took the plunge 2 months back and the house was sold in 2 days.

We have rented a home on the same secure estate; a very nice place with stunning views and we moved in 3 days ago; April fools day:rofl:

Anyway, here's the thing. To me, living in the old house didn't (I thought) really worry me and I had thought of selling more because my daughter didn't want to live there anymore.... Well, all I can say is that when I woke up in the new house on the morning of 2nd April, for the first time in 11 months, I felt HAPPY. Like a huge weight had been lifted off me.....like I'd finally walked through a "portal" into the next phase of my life.

My relationship with M is getting stronger every day and I realise now what it is to be truly loved by someone.

I feel truly blessed. There is life after infidelity and divorce..... and its a wonderful feeling.

Take care y'all

D


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

I'm so glad to read:smthumbup: such a wonderful update Wideopn Dave!!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What is your relationship with the ex-wife now?

How are you doing financially?

Did you get the rings back?


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## Luvmyjava (Feb 9, 2014)

I like to hear this.. I can't wait to get to where you are.

Thanks for the update.


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## Wideopn Dave (Apr 11, 2013)

Hey Warlock, financially I'm fine. The divorce was disposed of last year quickly and cleanly; I was lucky I guess that my XW decided not to contest.

She is seeing Karate Kid openly despite all of her denials and lies to me for the better part of the whole of last year. So be it....

No, she never gave the rings back and frankly I never wanted them back. To me they represent pain.

I am focusing on my future now. I have found a wonderful woman in M. We are taking it slowly but she has been absolutely awesome and loves me very much. Its only now that I have this that I realise what I didn't have in my marriage yet I thought my marriage was "perfect". It was far from it because it was totally one-sided...I invested completely emotionally and my XW took what she needed and only gave my crumbs back...-like a fool, I lived off those crumbs when in fact I deserved a whole lot more.

I have gained a sense of self worth and my self esteem which was shattered is being rebuilt. I am a wonderful man and I have a wonderful woman who appreciates me! 

I'm free!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wideopn Dave (Apr 11, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> *What is your relationship with the ex-wife now?*
> 
> How are you doing financially?
> 
> Did you get the rings back?


Sorry didn't comment on this aspect.

There is no relationship between my ex wife and I. 

Don't speak to her except to do with our daughter and then by email as is necessary. 

Cheers
D


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Man, I think you said those rings were expensive. Should have sold them or donated them to charity...


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

You know, there are quite a few threads that show there is not only life after betrayal but that life is a danged good one. Thanks for the update Dave. I'm so happy for you.


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Wideopn Dave said:


> Hey Warlock, financially I'm fine. The divorce was disposed of last year quickly and cleanly; I was lucky I guess that my XW decided not to contest.
> 
> She is seeing Karate Kid openly despite all of her denials and lies to me for the better part of the whole of last year. So be it....
> 
> ...


:smthumbup:

Hey Dave 

*Rock the fk ON!*

I remember your tale mirrored my own on some respects although I'm still on my own (not ready for anything yet)

You've done great and yes the blinds do come off when you realize how one sided your 'perfect' marriage was ....but wasn't ! How you now see that you never really 'knew' them.

Your comment here *"I invested completely emotionally and my XW took what she needed and only gave my crumbs back...-like a fool, I lived off those crumbs when in fact I deserved a whole lot more."* ... resonates 100 % with me, I'll remember it.

________

I do have a couple questions for you given your situation now. 

How does your 'new' lady deal with / feel about the crap that went through your life and your ex? and 

How is your daughter dealing with it all now?

Don't feel you have to answer, just wondering.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Dave, if you haven't, read bff's thread when you can.


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## Wideopn Dave (Apr 11, 2013)

Hey folks,

An update from my side.

Found out yesterday that the XW apparently moved in with the 60 yr old boyfriend about 2 months ago already.:scratchhead:

Weird as part of the settlement was that I had to pay her rent for a year which was up until end July this year. I paid her a lump sum in cash last year when she moved out but I guess that ran out early:rofl:

In a sense, this does give me a bit of closure although I can't help thinking about those stats that say something like only 4% of relationships that start as affairs are successful (??)n ; maybe I misunderstood

Whatever the situation, i have to keep looking forward even though it still hurts sometimes; I guess that's normal after 23yrs together.....

Take care y'all

D


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## WhiteRaven (Feb 24, 2014)

Wideopn Dave said:


> Hey folks,
> 
> An update from my side.
> 
> ...


Your ex is ex for a reason. Don't waste words for her. Tell us more about how you're doing.


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