# Helpful Tips for Getting Back into the Dating Scene



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Whether you’ve gotten divorced, separated from your partner, or become a widow/widower, getting back into the dating scene is never easy. There is no rule for how long you should wait before you start to date again – it’s all about what feels right to you. When you feel like you are ready to meet someone new, the following tips will help you reenter the dating scene with confidence.

*1. Make a List of Your Wants *

Before you set out to find a new potential partner, you should take some time to think about what you want in a relationship and in a significant other. While re-entering the dating scene can be challenging, you have the benefit of experience and you already know to some degree what does and doesn’t work for you. Make a list of qualities you want in a partner and what you want in a relationship using this experience to inform your decisions.

*2. Pare Down Your List *

After making your list of wants and needs, go through it with a fine-tooth comb and pare it down a little bit. You should keep the things on your list that are very important to you as well as any deal-breakers you might have, but you also need to be realistic – you’re not going to find the “perfect” person who checks all of your boxes without having any quirks or weaknesses. You should by no means settle for someone who doesn’t make you happy, but you need to be realistic as well. 

*3. Be Patient and Take Your Time *

No matter what brings you back to the dating pool, you need to be patient with yourself and with the process. You may find it difficult to open up to someone new emotionally and physically after a long-term relationship has ended. There is nothing wrong with taking your time – it is important that you get to know someone before you enter a relationship with them. You might have to go through a number of duds before you find the right match. 

*4. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No*

In addition to knowing what you want when you start looking for a potential partner, you need to pay attention to your feelings as you start dating. You shouldn’t be surprised if sometimes you come across someone who seems to fit the bill on paper, but the physical chemistry simply isn’t there. In cases like this, you need to be able to stick to your guns and move on – you don’t want to settle for someone that doesn’t make you completely happy.

*5. Take a Risk *

When you get back into the dating pool, one of the hardest things you are going to have to do is open yourself up and be vulnerable with a new potential partner. You won’t know until you really open up to each other whether the potential for a long-term relationship is there. It can be scary to do, but it’s a necessity if you want to find something that is going to last. 

As you get back into dating, it’s normal to be a little nervous or even uncomfortable at times. At times you may even feel like you are betraying your previous partner by moving on, but the truth is that everyone deserves to be loved. It may take time for you to develop your confidence and to find someone who is right for you, but if you keep at it you’ll eventually be successful. 

VS Glen, Community Support


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