# How soon is too soon?



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Okay, you have met someone new. How long should you wait before sex in a new relationship and what is considered too quick? What are the negative effects on a relationship of having sex too quickly?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

When both are ready for it, then go for it.

Be safe, use protection, be sure you're on the same page, all that jazz.

Your handle name is "Married in VA" so I am assuming you are married... if that is the case, don't have an affair.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Sex is a great way to say "Hello".


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or "Goodbye."


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Or "What's for dinner?"


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or "Let's not have dinner, just dessert."


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Which would lead to the next question "Where's the Whipped Cream?"


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Mistys dad said:


> Which would lead to the next question "Where's the Whipped Cream?"


eww, i like mine plain and natural


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think the OP has run off...


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Or it could be he/she decided that now was soon enough......


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## mikeydread1982 (Oct 7, 2011)

Sex: M_ F_ Yes Please X


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Huh?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Mistys dad said:


> Or it could be he/she decided that now was soon enough......


:rofl:

hopefully she waited at least long enough to exchange names :scratchhead:


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Nope, didn't run off and not having an affair either. Just looking for thoughts as I ponder future relationships as I am currently sepearated. I guess my name is misleading. I know people who have sex and cohabitate too soon tend to have more problems but I was looking for real life, after the honeymoon phase, examples.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

OK a serious answer.

Only you and the person that you are with can decide. Nobody here can tell you realistically how you should decide.

The joking above is just a silly way of expressing that.

As long as you are honest with your partner about what is taking place anything is OK. If you just want a sport f***, that's cool, as long as you are upfront about it. If you are looking for something fun, fine, just say so. The same applies to something long term.

Don't play games, and don't hurt anybody as you go.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

If you want a relationship, wait at least 12 dates and exclusivity agreed upon.

Just looking to have fun? It doesn't matter when.


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

You know, I have not dated as an "adult" so to speak. But If two grown adults feel like having sex after meeting each other. Then so be it. They are adults, not children.

Life is too short to be hung up on should I wait until such and such time. If both of you feel now is the time. Go for it.


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

To me as long as both people understand the trajectory of the relationship, whenever is fine.

By that I mean if you have sex on the second date (or earlier) their might be a risk that one party thinks it's fun & just sex, the other thinks it indicates the start of exclusivity, etc. That's a recipe for someone to be hurt. 

So that's why I say as long as both parties understand where things are or aren't going, then whenever is fine.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Nothing childish about waiting for sex.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

For me personally would be at least a minimum of knowing/dating someone for at least 6 months before sex would even be on the table...

So far I have never waited longer then a month.. and that has gotten me no where...

But you are the only one who can decide how long is long enough.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Gah...I'll take a blasting for this one...given our current circumstances ;-)

I had sex with H the first night...I don't know what came over me. I had never done anything like that before. We met at a party in December '09, so I knew him prior, but he only asked me out in June '10. It was that first date in June...

I wasn't expecting anything, especially after THAT; I figured I'd never hear from him again, actually! But we started seeing each other, were inseparable, and didn't get another chance to fall into bed again for a good 3 weeks after that first time. Actually, we fell in love quite sweetly, despite our first night of bonking each others brains out.

Who knew I'd end up marrying the first guy I had sex with on the first date?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ Were you guys on a date that first night? LOL


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## SecondTimesTheCharm (Dec 30, 2011)

How soon? The sooner, the better! ;-)

Although I think my wife would've put out on the first date, as we really hit it off, had a few drinks, were making out for a couple hours, and she invited me to spend the night at her place, because I am a gentleman, I refused the invitation to spend the night and, instead, kissed her good night at 1am and went home, likely driving my car with no hands and my hard penis. ;-)

Being old fashioned, and all, I didn't put out until the second date, the very next night...not really even a date, but rather her coming over to my place to collect. 

Personally, I found when dating that if there was no sex (at least oral) by the third date, that there usually was not a fourth date. I was dating in my mid-30's and dating women anywhere from late 20's to mid-30's, so it's not like I was dating any virgins so why should anyone put up any fronts? Either the chemistry is there or it's not. Plus, how are you going to know if he/she has her ex-lovers name tattooed on his/her body unless you get him/her naked as soon as possible?! lol


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Eh i disagree about "the sooner the better"

For me personally, it's better to get to know someone than to jump into bed with them straight away.

But to each their own.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> ^ Were you guys on a date that first night? LOL


Technically, no...we 'met up' at mutual friend's place (a couple we both know). They have a baby, and went to bed early, leaving the two of us alone. One thing leads to another...

I slept over, he went home. The next morning, my girlfriend laughs and says "Good morning, Mrs. B"...I said, "Mrs. Who???" - yup...shamefully I didn't even know his last name...Oh GAWD. So embarassing! :lol:


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Eh i disagree about "the sooner the better"
> 
> For me personally, it's better to get to know someone than to jump into bed with them straight away.
> 
> But to each their own.


:iagree:

Some guy tried to use the old "you're not a virgin" line on me.

I looked him in the eyes and said: "Virginity has nothing to do with being careful and selective." 

Easier to weed out the men who only want sex this way.


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