# Marriage counseling questions



## frustated (Jun 24, 2011)

I am setting up an appointment for marriage counseling.

Lack of sex and my drinking too much. 

We did it once before about 6 years ago we saw him separately and then together, together was very uncomfortable.

I did not have favorable experience last time.
I remember the counselor saying something like “so your wife does not give you sexual pleasure so you get your pleasure from drinking beer. He then advised me to jack off more. Any advice on counseling and how honest/ graphic I should be with the counselor.
Looks like It will be a female counselor this time.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Make sure you find one you both are comfortable with and who is actually giving you the help you need... I imagine there are a WIDE variety out there. In my case all my IC's have also been female, but our MC was also a feminist and a lesbian (I should have clued in to the innefectual advice she gave us) and beware that you are not automatically going to get "professional" expertise just because they are paid to do what they do.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Word of mouth is the best way to find a good marriage counselor. Ask friends, co-workers, or your local pastor. Most counselors would be willing to meet with you for free for 15 minutes before the initial appointment so you can make sure they are a good fit for you. Ask them how long they have been doing counseling and where they got their degree. Ask them if they consider themselves to be pro-marriage. Ask if they have special training in marriage counseling. Ask them about the theory they use for practicing (saying ecclectic is usually a bogus answer).


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## frustated (Jun 24, 2011)

Riverside MFT said:


> Word of mouth is the best way to find a good marriage counselor. Ask friends, co-workers, or your local pastor. Most counselors would be willing to meet with you for free for 15 minutes before the initial appointment so you can make sure they are a good fit for you. Ask them how long they have been doing counseling and where they got their degree. Ask them if they consider themselves to be pro-marriage. Ask if they have special training in marriage counseling. Ask them about the theory they use for practicing (saying ecclectic is usually a bogus answer).


Thanks,

The counselors are provided through the job 5 free sessions for each of us to start.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

If you are not comfortable, getting the help you need or not seeing improvement in your marriage within 5 sessions it's time for a new counselor.


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