# Ever been caught masterbating by your mate



## thunder65 (May 28, 2011)

I was just curious if there's anyone out there that's ever been caught by thier mate masterbating and if after you where caught did it help or hurt the relationship. Any other input/advice greatly appreciated. I'm in kinda that situation here and would like to know another person's experience with this.

thunder65


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## marriedwithkids1 (Nov 10, 2010)

I have never been "caught". What are you getting at? Everyone's different. Were you cought of did you catch your spouse. Are you thinking of arranging to "be caught?

My hubby did admit to wanting more sex. He admitted to masturbating in the middle of the night (he has trouble sleeping) and explained to me how the lack of sex thing is bad for his mood etc. He also indicated if he had his choice he woudl be having more sex with me. 

Now we have a sex more frequenlty. If i am not in the mood and he is he says he is "going to hang out downstairs". He still is a little shy about it but, we laugh about it. That is code for he is going to have time with his hand. In that sense for us it is all good. 

If there is one thing that has helped our marriage is to laugh about stuff. Gets you through stuff easier.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Being "caught" implies that the spouse isn't aware and may not approve. So, as such, no, I have not been "caught." My wife and I are each aware that we both masurbate sometimes. Neither of us is threatened or offended by it. We've each found one another indulging ourselves when we didn't expect it, but either let the one doing it to about their business or joined in.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Caught?!?!?!?! It would have to be wrong for me to feel caught. And since it is not wrong, there is nothing to catch.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

nope..however when im feelin it and my wife isnt into it i just pull it out in bed right beside her while she is asleep and i am not quiet about it either..at this point i couldnt care less about her finding out..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I used to do this once in a while when I got horny in the middle of the night & felt my husband would rather be sleeping. I always seemed to have more energy than him, stayed up later, etc. 

I always WANTED to wake him up -half the time I did , half the time I didn't. He never knew I did it -so I was never "caught". 

He was shocked when I opened up about it later in our marraige -just a few years ago. Here I masterbated & he didn't !! He would have HAPPILY taken care of me any hour of the night - he was always wanting it (and I did not know how much he suffered here). 

His lack of going out of his way to say "Baby, you can wake me up any time for this !!" is probably all I needed from him but he was always very QUIET in sex. This did us no favors and I was inhibited to talk about it much also. 


Basically we "missed" each other by not expressing ourselves in what we loved, missed, wanted , all of that. I felt he would rather be sleeping , how wrong I was. I questioned his sex drive for goodness sakes & he thought I didn't have much of one!! How rediculous we were, many wasted years. 

Thankfully, those days are long gone. We dont miss a beat in expressing ourselves now. 


If you have talked to your wife about wanting more to no avail, let her discover you ! Why not! 

If you are like us, and not expressing these things to each other out of inhibitions, etc - you might be surprised she does it too! And you are both missing each other.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I would never masturbate in the midst of a fulfilling relationship.

Never in a million years.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/26509-getting-caught-self-pleasuring-yourself.html
> 
> what is your obsession with this topic?? really.


He had another thread where he recorded his wife in the shower because he thought she was masturbating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Sometimes, when i self-serve, I would love for her to walk in on me-and finish me off!


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## arkguy (Apr 27, 2011)

Yes, many years ago after we married, we didn't have enough sex for me at all, so I was secretly masturbating 2 or 3 times a week. 

Wifey got pregnant and couldn't have sex anymore after about 6 months. She was gone to work one day, I was spread eagle, completely naked on the bed and no joke, just as I came, she opens the bedroom door, she had left work early that day. First she was startled and then she laughed and said it was ok, she understood. Kind of surprised me she said that, because she is one those that never ever masturbates or so she says and I believe her.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Nope, just by mom. That was awkward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Yeah, RLD...it was awkward when your mom caught me, too. ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

like I wrote..now I do it right beside my wife while shes sleeping..because of it she thinks i am
a sexual freak..she thinks thats gross and discusting..that she would never touch herself
except to clean..
Thank god for these message boards..feel like I married the most Conservative woman
on the planet..and because of it I feel like a horny..sex craved wild animal..
forgive my spelling..typing on mobile can be a biatch
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

marriedguy said:


> like I wrote..now I do it right beside my wife while shes sleeping..because of it she thinks i am
> a sexual freak..she thinks thats gross and discusting..that she would never touch herself
> except to clean..
> Thank god for these message boards..feel like I married the most Conservative woman
> ...


And this is supposed to help your relationship with her how? :scratchhead:


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

THis helps my relationship with her because if I get myself off then I dont get as frustrated when she doesnt give me affection...


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> And this is supposed to help your relationship with her how? :scratchhead:


Rock and a hard place here. By doing it in bed next to her, he triggers her disgust, by doing it somewhere else, he reinforces her view it's dirty and sordid. Tricky...


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> Rock and a hard place here. By doing it in bed next to her, he triggers her disgust, by doing it somewhere else, he reinforces her view it's dirty and sordid. Tricky...


Well, there is an another option, like what my H did with me way back when. He was able to persuade me to participate with him (he was persistent, but not pushy about it) - at minimum by just laying down next to him and holding him while he did it. Until I could be persuaded, he didn't just jerk off next to me because he was frustrated.

I don't know why you would want to do something that would trigger disgust in your wife, if you know it would disgust her. Why wouldn't you try to approach it in a different way to trigger delight instead?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I doubt I could resist with the assist.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Well, there is an another option, like what my H did with me way back when. He was able to persuade me to participate with him (he was persistent, but not pushy about it) - at minimum by just laying down next to him and holding him while he did it. Until I could be persuaded, he didn't just jerk off next to me because he was frustrated.
> 
> I don't know why you would want to do something that would trigger disgust in your wife, if you know it would disgust her. Why wouldn't you try to approach it in a different way to trigger delight instead?


This will work if she's prepared to "tolerate" him masturbating at all. It might be worth trying a few times, but you need a backup plan in case she says something along the lines of
"Which part of 'I find this utterly revolting and want no part of it whatsover' do you not understand?"


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## Prometheus Pyrphoros (Jun 16, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> This will work if she's prepared to "tolerate" him masturbating at all. It might be worth trying a few times, but you need a backup plan in case she says something along the lines of
> "Which part of 'I find this utterly revolting and want no part of it whatsover' do you not understand?"


Absolutely correct. If she's not very open about sex then this will be counterproductive and disgust her even more, no doubt.



marriedguy said:


> like I wrote..now I do it right beside my wife while shes sleeping..because of it she thinks i am
> a sexual freak..she thinks thats gross and discusting..that she would never touch herself
> except to clean..
> Thank god for these message boards..feel like I married the most Conservative woman
> ...


Please don't be insulted but it does sound a bit creepy...

I have never been caught by her, I do it alone and in private. She does it when she initiates and I absolutely go crazy when I see her do that and just dig right in.

--
Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

I agree that "caught" is not the right word because it implies that you were doing something wrong . . . 

However, my extremely conservative (and generally, guilt-driven) wife recently "discovered" my occasional practice of masturbating in bed after I thought she was asleep. To my utter and complete surprise...she lit up like a Christmas tree. Turns out, she REALLY gets turned-on by watching me make myself shoot! It's been a nice addition to our sex life...yet, she remains extremely inhibited and uncomfortable about letting me watch her (which, in the grand scheme of things, is really OK).


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Star said:


> Um yeh, one time he walked in on me, I could have died at the time because of the position I was in, but he joined in so it was all good!


Must admit - I don't really vary positions much when I'm alone!!!

Its usually just me on top of me...


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Star said:


> Well I like variety.........whether alone or with my H


I usually even use the same hand!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Fast Times at Ridgemonth High










"Doesn't anybody F#ing knock?"


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## Rough Patch Sewing (Apr 18, 2011)

If a husband's attempt to get his wife "in the mood" doesn't work, he could, with the acknowledgement and agreement of his wife, masturbate in front of her. 

Wives have any issue with a plan like that! 

There have been times when having that happen did the trick to get her in the mood.

Either way it is a win-win!


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Rough Patch Sewing said:


> If a husband's attempt to get his wife "in the mood" doesn't work, he could, with the acknowledgement and agreement of his wife, masturbate in front of her.
> 
> Wives have any issue with a plan like that!
> 
> ...


What if she doesn't agree? Or not merely doesn't agree but thinks the man is some kind of sicko twisted sexual deviant for even suggesting it?


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> What if she doesn't agree? Or not merely doesn't agree but thinks the man is some kind of sicko twisted sexual deviant for even suggesting it?


Say you're sorry and leave it alone. But, I WOULD take that opportunity to let her know you enjoy taking care of your own business occasionally. That way, at least she won't be floored if she walks in on you in the future.

Who knows? She might be more receptive to the idea than you think.


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## moo (Nov 22, 2010)

Amplexor said:


> Fast Times at Ridgemonth High
> 
> 
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moo (Nov 22, 2010)

Oh my!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Malky1954 (Jul 11, 2011)

thunder65 said:


> I was just curious if there's anyone out there that's ever been caught by thier mate masterbating and if after you where caught did it help or hurt the relationship. Any other input/advice greatly appreciated. I'm in kinda that situation here and would like to know another person's experience with this.
> 
> thunder65


We both masturbate - sometimes together and sometimes alone - and sometimes both of us use porn. Getting 'caught' usually leads to a good spanking!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Yes one time. Then we had sex.


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## Marky2 (Jul 21, 2011)

It would probably be a lot less embarrassing if the pair of you became comfortable with your own sexuality through dialogue - sounds clinical but it really does not have to be. The best way I can express this is by telling our story: After good but unadventurous sex for 10 years of marriage for some reason one Sunday afternoon during exceptionally arousing love making I just slid my hand between us and started pleasuring myself simultaneously with our sex. It just seemed the most natural thing and before too long my wife started participating by doing the same to herself. It was probably the most fantastic sex we had ever had and afterwards we just started reinforcing our feelings and experience with tender words of affirmation and love. As I moved on in my job and became successful it became necessary to travel a lot keeping us apart for sometimes a few weeks at a time but now after 32 years of marriage we talk about our masturbation and fantasizing about each other while separated and it has reinforced our love and actually enhances our arousal and appreciation of each other. I often masturbate even while I'm at home and I know she does but we don't actually talk about these self encounters - if however if I did catch my wife in the act I would certainly just act naturally and express appreciation at encountering such an arousing scene and ask if I could participate. I am sure that this gentle reassuring approach would enhance the immediate sexual experience and in the future because it would provide a talking point that would once again be highly arousing.


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

i just lay in bed get close to her and start to masterbate she feels the movement and join in .same with her if she feels like it that just what we do we dont even talk about it it just happen like that


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

Caught may not be the right word.
But she's found me at my desk masturbating.

The last it happened she grabbed me by the erection and led me to bed. Other times she's just said "Oh! I'll let you be!"


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

As others have said, "caught" is implying that you are doing something wrong. Early in our marriage, "caught" would have been the right word, but not today. She understands that I need sex more than she does. There have been times that I start masturbating in the morning while she is getting ready for work. When she sees me, she will come over and help by caressing my testicles, or rubbing my chest. She enjoys pleasing me (she gives awesome hand-jobs too!!!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Nope, just by mom. That was awkward.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Stephen Lynch - talk to me dad (lyrics) - YouTube

nsfw


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## TallJeff (Nov 1, 2011)

I walked in on my college roommate once. He thought I was in class but my class got canceled and I returned home early.


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## Parrot_head (Sep 28, 2011)

My wife and I are very comfortable together naked.. 
We are slightly overweight , but I see her as sexy as ever..

Sometimes when she uses a viabrator .. I will masturbate concurrently with her.. She usually closes her eyes , but when I do this she keeps em open and gets really horny..
I will masturbate until I cant hold back , I will shoot right onto her toy , hand and vaj and that always get her to cum as well..

Ima dirty ol man lolzz


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

I dont go out of my way to tell her I am rubbing one out with out her. But it happens a few times a week.

When she is out of commission ( you know what I mean) and I am really wanting it. I take her shirt off and masturbate on her boobs. She doesn't mind, I know it kind of gets her going but there is no way I can convince her to have sex that week.


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## Meg (Oct 12, 2011)

I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show. 

Gets his attention EVERY time! :awink:


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

Meg said:


> I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show.
> 
> Gets his attention EVERY time! :awink:


Ahh, if you excuse me for a moment......


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Meg said:


> I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show.
> 
> Gets his attention EVERY time! :awink:


Would HOPE so!

We used to wrap our legs together when we would do that so that we would have some physical contact. Good times! Good memories.

:smthumbup:


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

Meg said:


> I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show.
> 
> Gets his attention EVERY time! :awink:[/QUOTE
> damm that sound so horny
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

just for fun said:


> Meg said:
> 
> 
> > I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show.
> ...


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

damm that souds horny .have to go and see if my wife is in bed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

We've never had that happen when we didn't want it to happen.


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

Meg said:


> I like to plop in bed and pull the covers up like I'm gonna read for awhile. He's usually watching Letterman or something on TV. So, I start-out with some very soft rubbing under the sheets. But, after a minute or so of that, though -- I just throw back the covers and let him see the show.
> 
> Gets his attention EVERY time! :awink:[/QUOTE
> .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

mmmm have to leave for a wile after this one to ....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

Meg said:


> I hope you're a little more slick at "that" than you are at posting on this board.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## just for fun (Nov 10, 2011)

just for fun said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


sorry Meg i struggle with my celphone ,but have to say the way you discribe it works in my mind
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

Some of the responses on here make you laugh!! And we all need a good laugh these days!

I do it...because I enjoy it, it relieves stress and tension and its MY toy! I also do it because my wife really isnt 'in to' sex. So it boils down to taking car of myself or going for a 'happy ending' massage. 'DIY' is cheaper and isn't 'unfaithful' (as such)!

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my wife caught me...if she was a little bit more tuned in to my needs then I wouldn't have to.

If I caught her doing it, yes I would be pi$$ed off because if she is feeling horny and 'wants some' then as her husband I feel it is my 'job' (pleasure) to 'help her out'.

Everyone masturbates....but only half of us have the courage to admit it!!


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## Wantsmore (Sep 13, 2011)

Hell, I couldn't take waiting till her friend left this weekend and did it on her boobs last night. She was happy to "help" once I started. My wife doesn't "get"it either. She always wonders why I can't wait a few days till she is back in action. I can't understand why she isn't a little more helpful when she can't.


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