# What do you think of being "shown off?"



## Janis (Nov 21, 2014)

I'm debating with a friend about this and I'm curious about other people's opinions. 

If your partner wanted to bring you around their friends to "show you off" would you take that as a compliment or an insult? 

You could view it as being treated as a new car or outfit or as someone simply being really happy and proud to be in a relationship with you.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Neither. I would think that that is one very young and immature person. I would not choose to be with that person. Nor would I choose to be insulted.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> Neither. I would think that that is one very young and immature person. I would not choose to be with that person. Nor would I choose to be insulted.


x2

That's childish, BUT I would go and see how F'ed up the friends are as a confirmation.Should be a good show/comedy.


----------



## Janis (Nov 21, 2014)

DoF said:


> x2
> 
> That's childish, BUT I would go and see how F'ed up the friends are as a confirmation.Should be a good show/comedy.


haha it probably would be if you were to point it out.


----------



## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

I think it depends on the context. I would probably see it as a compliment if I were in an actual relationship with someone. If it was someone I was dating or even just friends with, and "showing off" was the only motive.....that would seem ****y and immature to me.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

That depends. Do you have a bionic claw? Because a bionic claw would be pretty cool.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Janis said:


> as someone simply being really happy and proud to be in a relationship with you.


This is how I would see it.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

He has told me how proud he is to be seen with me on his arm, if that is showing off then it is all good by me.


----------



## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

It depends on if all he sees is your physical qualities. If he also loves your heart and mind, it is very much a compliment .

When I was single, I dated a man for a few weeks who said that to me one night when we went on a date. I took it as a compliment because I knew that it was not the only thing he liked about me. There were some people I met, while dating, that it would have been a huge YUCK!


----------



## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Neither compliment nor insult .. it says nothing about you. Unfortunately, it does say a lot about the partner (externalized self-esteem .. never healthy in excess)


----------



## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

I 'show off' my girl all the time. Any woman who thinks that is insulting isn't worth showing off anyways. 

In my circle of friends, my buddies need to get approval from the guys when they first start dating the girl. They have to be at least a 7 appearance wise or he's getting sh*t from us. The girls who keep care of themselves get brought out and along at all times; however, the girls who let them selves go--their partner (one of the buddies) doesn't bring her around.

It's an ego thing. Yes, showing off your girl is like showing off clothes, cars, etc. However, women seem to do it on the flip of things. They enjoy showing of their men in conversations or on facebook status's where other women respond with 'best husband ever' etc.


----------



## casey66 (Jan 25, 2015)

Back in my reckless college days, I dated two kinds of girls: Those who were fun to be around in a mutual social arena and those who I knew would get the approval of my parents. There were often times I brought a girl to a party as a guest date but never thought of it as being an exhibitionist because most everyone knew each other already. For the first few years of college, my mother began worrying that I wasn't interested in women and often suggested that I give consideration to dating certain girls. However, I could never find the heart to tell her she would find my college girlfriends a little on the trashy side. When I met my wife (now of 23 yrs) she met my family in less than two weeks after we began dating because I knew this was the kind of girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and proud to make the introduction. 

So my point of the matter is contingent upon intent. If the BF is trying to prove to his friends that he can land a date with a good looking girl this indeed demonstrates his insecurity and imaturity. However, if it is that he is truly proud to have you by his side in order foster your relationship with support of friends and family, than I don't see anything wrong with that.


----------



## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

casey66 said:


> If the BF is trying to prove to his friends that he can land a date with a good looking girl this indeed demonstrates his insecurity and imaturity.


I don't understand how this is considered immature and one being insecure. Nobody is high fiving a guy when he lands anything below a 7 on the appearance scale. It is just a matter of fact. There is nothing wrong with 'showing off' your new girl/girlfriend/wife to show your friends how good looking she is. 

Having standards on what you want out of a woman and proving them to others is not one being insecure. It is something he wants. Many men aren't attracted to 6's and below and they have every right to not be.

On the immature thing; most things a group of guys do is considered immature. This is what many guys do. It is not immature; it's just being a man with an ego.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm just another beefcake for all her friends to drool over! Life is tough sometimes. &#55357;&#56841;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

I do this with my husband, but I recognize that it has little to do with him and a lot to do with me proving to those a-holes from high school who picked on me and shoved me around that I grew up to be successful with a big, loving family and a smoking hot husband while they're a divorced loser who drives a bus for a living. Even if no one from high school is even involved in whatever event I'm flashing him around at.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wise said:


> I 'show off' my girl all the time. Any woman who thinks that is insulting isn't worth showing off anyways.
> 
> In my circle of friends, my buddies need to get approval from the guys when they first start dating the girl. They have to be at least a 7 appearance wise or he's getting sh*t from us. The girls who keep care of themselves get brought out and along at all times; however, the girls who let them selves go--their partner (one of the buddies) doesn't bring her around.
> 
> It's an ego thing. Yes, showing off your girl is like showing off clothes, cars, etc. However, women seem to do it on the flip of things. They enjoy showing of their men in conversations or on facebook status's where other women respond with 'best husband ever' etc.


:scratchhead:


----------



## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

wise said:


> I don't understand how this is considered immature and one being insecure. Nobody is high fiving a guy when he lands anything below a 7 on the appearance scale. It is just a matter of fact. There is nothing wrong with 'showing off' your new girl/girlfriend/wife to show your friends how good looking she is.
> 
> Having standards on what you want out of a woman and proving them to others is not one being insecure. It is something he wants. Many men aren't attracted to 6's and below and they have every right to not be.
> 
> On the immature thing; most things a group of guys do is considered immature. This is what many guys do. It is not immature; it's just being a man with an ego.


So let me get this straight: if you married a woman you thought was a "7" but your friends thought she was a "6", you wouldn't "bring her around" them. Yeah, can't see why that would be seen as insecure or immature...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

batsociety said:


> I do this with my husband, but I recognize that it has little to do with him and a lot to do with me proving to those a-holes from high school who picked on me and shoved me around that I grew up to be successful with a big, loving family and a smoking hot husband while they're a divorced loser who drives a bus for a living. Even if no one from high school is even involved in whatever event I'm flashing him around at.


Beefcake braggart!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> I'm just another beefcake for all her friends to drool over! Life is tough sometimes. &#55357;&#56841;
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I share your pain brother. It's a burden isn't it.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bfree said:


> I share your pain brother. It's a burden isn't it.


LOL! If this was a super serious thread, I'm sorry. Beefcake husbands do have to stick together. &#55357;&#56841;&#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

ALL about context....

I can't speak for everyone, but if I ever wanted to "show off" my SO or wife, it would be because I'd be very proud of THEM - not about showing how accomplished I was.

If you think your SO is really "all that", you should WANT to show them off - kind of like finding the prize egg at Easter. Not because you want to boast, but because you really think they are super-duper!!

On the other hand, if you're wanting to brag about your prowess, or to make others envious of your "property", or how YOU are the greatest (because you can land "them"), that's BS.

ALL about context...


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My feeling is that

people who need to "show off" their partners / children / whatever to others will also be very sensitive to their people's opinion about how to live their lives.

I don't want to be approved by some guy's friend(s) and then find out that his / her / their opinon looms large in the decisions that we make for ourselves as a couple.

People can say all the nice things that they want to me, but that does not give them licence to criticise me later on the choices that I make and, worse, to expect me to honor those opinions in whatever way.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

batsociety said:


> I do this with my husband, but I recognize that it has little to do with him and a lot to do with me proving to those a-holes from high school who picked on me and shoved me around that I grew up to be successful with a big, loving family and a smoking hot husband while they're a divorced loser who drives a bus for a living. Even if no one from high school is even involved in whatever event I'm flashing him around at.


This. The way I feel with my wife. I do not want no guy looking at my wife, im not showing her off to no guys! Its more a thumbing your nose at the HS girls that did not give you the 2nd look but went after the popular ***** mongers. Now they are divorced or hubby is fat in low paying job or rehab. I look at these women now and I thank God he never answered those prayers. They did not turn out to look so good, I just kept improving. Its more for showing how great my wife and my relationship is and saying you should have looked at the shy unpopular guy if you wanted faithful, loving, lasting relationship. But that's for class reunions. Otherwise I'm just proud she said. YES!


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bfree said:


> I share your pain brother. It's a burden isn't it.


bfree/Conan: Granted that it being the tough duty that it is, the only real difference between you guys and me, in that regard, would be that if I were being summarily hauled off by a SO to some gathering in order to "show me off," I'd probably be forced to have to bring along a 
"Take-A-Number" machine with me!


----------



## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

You probably noticed people under 30 look at this question from a different perspective than those over 45. Such is the nature of life ... walk your path. If you ask me to show you where some of the rocks in the road are, I might give you some ideas. You need to walk you own path, authentically. 

The issue with showing off is that it lacks authenticity. Your partner is not an appendage; their looks, intelligence or social nature say nothing about you. Be who you are, and grow as you were meant to.


----------



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Definitely a compliment and I don't see the problem. The issue becomes the other side, when your boyfriend or husband does not want to be seen with you in some context. Honey the work dinner is pretty much for the people at the company, no one is taking their wives and you find out from several people that wives came and you wonder why you were not invited.


----------



## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

wise said:


> I 'show off' my girl all the time. Any woman who thinks that is insulting isn't worth showing off anyways.
> 
> In my circle of friends, my buddies need to get approval from the guys when they first start dating the girl. They have to be at least a 7 appearance wise or he's getting sh*t from us. The girls who keep care of themselves get brought out and along at all times; however, the girls who let them selves go--their partner (one of the buddies) doesn't bring her around.
> 
> It's an ego thing. Yes, showing off your girl is like showing off clothes, cars, etc. However, women seem to do it on the flip of things. They enjoy showing of their men in conversations or on facebook status's where other women respond with 'best husband ever' etc.


how old are you???


----------



## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

wise said:


> I don't understand how this is considered immature and one being insecure. Nobody is high fiving a guy when he lands anything below a 7 on the appearance scale. It is just a matter of fact. There is nothing wrong with 'showing off' your new girl/girlfriend/wife to show your friends how good looking she is.
> 
> Having standards on what you want out of a woman and proving them to others is not one being insecure. It is something he wants. Many men aren't attracted to 6's and below and they have every right to not be.
> 
> On the immature thing; most things a group of guys do is considered immature. This is what many guys do. It is not immature; it's just being a man with an ego.


It's actually quite sad that people have these beliefs without any knowledge of the reality and science behind it all...

It's been shown that men actually prefer, psychologically and socially, "average" women... it's also known that most men see female beauty in relation to their own attractiveness.

Women tend NOT to pair with partners of lower, or even equallly perceived attractiveness... If you want a "7", you're going to have to be an "8" to most women... at least on the SUPERFICIAL qualities.

Also, beauty is not a linear, but rather a normal distribution, a "bell curve".... so your understanding of a "7" is really a scientific "5". You're picking average, as science has already confirmed.


----------



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

My ex H used to show n brag how capable I am n I earn a lot 

Fast forward 

He abused me financially n his family too. TheY spend including my income! 

Now I realised my Ex H may have issues, I read somewhere my ex may be something likeep they idolise you then got jealous of you then felt entitled to your success


----------



## Joe Cool (Feb 24, 2015)

I would think my spouse was a pathetic loser shallowly distracted by pursuing the approval and validation of the equally shallow and I would lose all respect for her values.

People are not for show unless your ****ed up in the head. But then I don't show off anything else either. That behavior sickens me.

There is no need to call attention to good fortune. It comes with the territory subtly and is consistently down played by those with class and a humble nature.


----------



## FatherofTwo (Dec 6, 2014)

When Im out ans abot with my wife and she's gotten herself looking very attractive and sexy then of course Im proud to be with her. Id be proud to be with her when you go to the gym and she's in sweatpants or better yet those yoga pants 

I dont think its necessarily " showering her off " but just feeling blessed to be with her.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

If the man treats you with respect and you feel loved and cared for, the fact he loves to have you on his arm.. it comes back to him that he has a prize.. I see it as a compliment... Maybe it's not something that should be spoken out loud.. but none the less.. a MAN feels this way.. and that's a beautiful thing.. 

You wouldn't want the other side of this... it would be wholly crushing.


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife has been showing me off to her family and friends for years. I suppose it's to be expected. A woman isn't going to marry a studly piece of beefcake and then keep him hidden. She'll have to rub her good fortune under everyone's nose. You kinda get used to it.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Jung_admirer said:


> The issue with showing off is that it lacks authenticity. Your partner is not an appendage; their looks, intelligence or social nature say nothing about you. Be who you are, and grow as you were meant to.


I disagree. While my partner is certainly not an appendage, her intelligence, compassion, and kindness reflect well on me because she chooses to be with me. And vice versa. I am proud of my wife and want the world to know she is wonderful. She is not just a sexy hottie on my arm to shore up my self-esteem.


----------

