# Sticky  Need Advice? Give some to others as well...



## Chris H.

Here on Talk About Marriage, we get a lot of new people every day who are looking for help with very difficult problems they are facing.

Thankfully, we have a bunch of regular members who post responses to people relatively quickly. Lately, most posts usually get a few responses within a day or two. We really appreciate the advice and opinions that these generous people have to offer, they can brighten someone's day or shed some additional light on a confusing situation.:smthumbup:

But you don't have to be a "relationship guru" or "marriage counselor" to give people your opinion here... This is a public forum, and it helps to get opinions from people with different perspectives.

One of the remarkable things about listening and responding to the problems of others, is that it momentarily takes us out of our own problems and frustrations in life.

So I just wanted to take a second to encourage everyone seeking advice here for the first time to please post a response to someone else's plea for help. I'm sure they will greatly appreciate it; and who knows, you might get something out of it as well!

Thanks for visiting Talk About Marriage!


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## mollyL

You have a unique forum here, I think. There are several posters who blow me away with their intuitive answers and willingness to help other people. If some of us can shed a little light for other people who are experiencing problems that perhaps we have gone through ourselves, it feels very good. Thanks for presenting this website.


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## Chris H.

Thanks MollyL!


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## Goodkatt

I sincerely appreciate this web site and all the caring comments. It minimizes the experience of isolation, loneliness and hopelessness that can be experienced in a troubling relationship. It is comforting to be able to communicate discreetly and to receive and give support. The benefit of writing and coming back over time to read additional supportive comments a few days later is that it allows me to get clearer perspective of the problem and what roll I am playing. It allows me to recognize my own avoidance and who I am being and what I am allowing by not being active in resolving the conflict. It is amazing how one can be lonelier in a marriage then when not in a relationship at all. This forum is extremely beneficial. I believe this site can help people discover and develop a healthier relationship by sharing their experiences and perspectives. This site is a wonderful gift to society. Thank you, thank you to all of you.:smthumbup:


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## bluebird

I am glad I found this post. Sometimes I am hesitant to reply to a post because I am not expert on marriage or other issues. BUT, sometimes I find it helpful just to let somebody know you can relate to their problem, even without giving advice.


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## Chris H.

bluebird said:


> I am glad I found this post. Sometimes I am hesitant to reply to a post because I am not expert on marriage or other issues. BUT, sometimes I find it helpful just to let somebody know you can relate to their problem, even without giving advice.


Sure, and "experts" aren't always right, either. IMHO, the more points of view, the better.


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## lisakifttherapy

I am a relationship professional - and it's been a pleasure to be able to contribute to this site via my articles in the way I do. My intention is to get more active on the forum as well as I think it's populated with a number of very kind, wise and helpful people - therapists/counselors or not - who are providing sound assistance and advice to a lot of people in need. I'm looking forward to becoming more of a consistant presence here.

Keep up the great work Chris! 

Lisa


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## MarkTwain

Chris -
This is a fantastic forum, I'm learning a lot from reading all the posts, and it's great to see the diversity of people's experience.


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## justean

i accidentally stumbled across this site, when seaking guidance myself. i appreciate ppl allowing me into their problems , whilst it has helped me with my problems.
thanks .


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## lostluv

I try to post where I can but I also kinda feel like a hypocrite giving someone else advice when I can't keep my own life straight.


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## swedish

Please don't let that hold you back from posting. Everyone has ups and downs in their lives, but the important thing is that if you feel you can shed some light, show empathy and support for someone in a bad spot they will probably appreciate hearing it. Sometimes just knowing you are not alone...you are not crazy...helps!


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## Amplexor

lostluv said:


> I try to post where I can but I also kinda feel like a hypocrite giving someone else advice when I can't keep my own life straight.


You are not being a hypocrite in trying to share some of your sage with others in need. The mistakes we make in life, are many times, more important in the long run then the victories. If you can help someone benefit from your experiences be they good or bad, it is a wonderful thing to share.

And besides, you know the forum. If we think you’re full of crap, we’ll tell ya.


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## lostluv

Amp,
I have seen that here enough to know it true. That is one thing I enjoy about this forum...the open discussion.


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## Jessica5971

I will definitely do my best to give as much feedback as I can to other posters/members.


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## LoriFrank

I appreciate the help I received when I posted about our marriage problem. I knew some of the answers but was not strong enough to stand up for myself. The way some of the answers were written, I was able to stand up for myself and admit my part in the problem and move forward. I credit this site for helping save our marriage.


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## Wyst

lostluv said:


> I try to post where I can but I also kinda feel like a hypocrite giving someone else advice when I can't keep my own life straight.


I have just joined this site. I was looking for somewhere to write what I needed to about my situation and "dump" it. I ended up answering someone else before writing my own story.

Lostluv, I doubt very much that you will find a single person here - even the happily married ones and the therapist ones, who have it all together all of the time. We are all wounded healers and bring our own experiences, frustrations, and things we have learnt to the mix. Just finding others with similar stories helps to ease the sense of isolation. So chin up. I have no doubt that you input is as valuable as anyone else's.


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## MarkTwain

lostluv said:


> I try to post where I can but I also kinda feel like a hypocrite giving someone else advice when I can't keep my own life straight.


You personally have solved mysteries for me, that no one else has so far has even come close to


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## seshu_sreenivas

Chris H. said:


> Here on Talk About Marriage, we get a lot of new people every day who are looking for help with very difficult problems they are facing.
> 
> Thankfully, we have a bunch of regular members who post responses to people relatively quickly. Lately, most posts usually get a few responses within a day or two. We really appreciate the advice and opinions that these generous people have to offer, they can brighten someone's day or shed some additional light on a confusing situation.:smthumbup:
> 
> But you don't have to be a "relationship guru" or "marriage counselor" to give people your opinion here... This is a public forum, and it helps to get opinions from people with different perspectives.
> 
> One of the remarkable things about listening and responding to the problems of others, is that it momentarily takes us out of our own problems and frustrations in life.
> 
> So I just wanted to take a second to encourage everyone seeking advice here for the first time to please post a response to someone else's plea for help. I'm sure they will greatly appreciate it; and who knows, you might get something out of it as well!
> 
> Thanks for visiting Talk About Marriage!


u r welcome


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## moogvo

Thank you for a wonderful place to come and discuss such important topics. I have had many qweb forums in the past, mostly automotive related and fun stuff, but this forum is truly a service to the global community. I was able to come here to "vent" my issues out and in doing so has brought many of the answers to light for me. My marriage is back on track and I greatly appreciate you for having a venue like this one for people to come together and to care for each other.

while I have learned that marriages take continuous work, I have began to walk the path of healing, I look forward to coming back several times a day to see what is new. Hopefully my experience will prove to be beneficial to others here, as others have been helpful to me.


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## marina72

I feel the same way, I have already learned so much about my marriage, and life in general. I love to read others posts, and don't always post a response, then sometimes I do, but I do learn a lot from reading them. Of course ,my marriage isn't perfect either, who's is? But after reading some things, I really feel it will help me with some of the issues my marriage faces, and to become a better person maybe. Anyway, it's a great place to connect with people.


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## BlueRoseRed

I was searching for a place to get some advice from regular people because I know that I could learn alot from others. Also, I don't like talking to family or friends about relationship problems. I hope to learn alot, and possibly give out some wisdom of my own.


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## findingpeace

this site is great my divorce has been hell on me and it is good to know i am not the only person who is going threw really hard and painfull times i think it is wonerful for people to reach out and give a helping hand to those who are just trying to find some answers to there confusing and painful situations thank you for creating this site God bless everyone


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## Bobby

I am posting this because there are people that need to know. My wife and i have been married for 19 years now. I have always known that I loved my wife. I used to travel for a living for many years, I never worried about my wife being unfaithful to me not once. Back in November of this year I noticed something was off in our relationship. There have been days that I just wondered about things I have never worried about before. I never questioned her because I was afraid of accusing her and then it becoming worse. I am a regular guy, I like to look at pretty women, I never try to do that where it will be offensive to my wife, but I can hang out with my buddies and say all kinds of things about women and what I would like to do and so on. i even said a time or 2 when a friend asked what if she was doing that I would say if she wants to go let her I dont care. Let me tell you how wrong i was. My wife had met someone on the net, she started having normal conversations with him and it became much more than that. Luckily they have never met, he lives out of state, and I caught on before it came to that. We are currently struggling with all of this, but I cant begin to tell you how I hurt so bad when I found all of this out. I know now just how much I love her and I want her here with me. I am willing to fix our problems and I will go to any distance to save our marriage. This is the problem, I was caught up in my own world working, and I neglected her, she found some comfort in a idiot on the net that was only wanting to hook up and he played her like a fool. Now none of that matters and i can only tell you that as mad as i became with her, I am willing to fight for her, and i will not ever take her for granite again. I just wanted to share this because if you love your spouse, then you should make it known every day. A good solid marriage isa hard to find, and you have no Idea how hard it is to deal with this kind of thing. i love my wife, and we are gonna make this work. the funny thing is neither of us wanted this to happen, we just looked the other way for a minute. if you love them you make damn sure they know it, Never let them be alone to feel unwanted!!!!


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## Sensitive

So far, I love this site. I have read many threads of problems I have. It actually helps me to reply to a post and write something from my personal life. I hope this helps others, as I really think it is easy to not see solutions when you are deeply entrenched in your own situations.


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## sophie30

Can someone help me with a marriage problem in this forum i am new to this


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## Relationshipexpert

This is a unique forum whereby everybody is welcome to share his/her problem and give advice to each other.This type of open platform is very useful as you never know that when you can get solution to your problems as well while giving others advices.


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## Relationshipexpert

What type of problem are you going through?


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## Oswald

Good thought........
It is always good help others. Even i feel the same..
I do my best.. to help others,,,,
Even i got a suggestion from these threads which really helped me..thanks a lot....
Hope for the best!!!!!!!


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## Quentin

LoriFrank said:


> I appreciate the help I received when I posted about our marriage problem. I knew some of the answers but was not strong enough to stand up for myself. The way some of the answers were written, I was able to stand up for myself and admit my part in the problem and move forward. I credit this site for helping save our marriage.


Really!!
That sounds great! By seeing this post even i have decided to discuss my problem. Soon i will get back to you..
Thanks.


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## timeagain

I really like this web site, I wish I get some feedback on my problem, I have....


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## DAWNDEE

Hi there. I stumbled upon this site and I am hoping to get and give some advices. Sometimes it takes just another perspective from someone who is not involved into the situation, to help a person see a resolution.
I am divorced with children and now I want to get involved in a relationship. But I seam to have develop a fear of intimacy. Whenever someone gets close, I put on heavy barriers around me. I want them to get through, but my fear and hesitation eventually burns them out. Should I go after him, explain my fears and ask him to keep trying? He was definitely interested, but now he hesitates. Does his hesitation mean that I should go after him or that he is done with trying to get close to me. Will my trying make me look desperate? Will I have internal peace if I just watch him lose interest? Any advice?


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## Chris H.

Dawndee, post a thread in the going through divorce section, I'm sure you'll get some responses there. These threads don't get looked at as much.


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