# Is it me? I need some advice!



## dilemma1 (Jun 2, 2008)

I have been together with my husband for 2 years, dating for 1 and married for the other. We talked about marriage while we were dating but we decided to take it slow. That's until I got pregnant with my son. We decided to get married legally, and have a ceremony when we were financially stable. Lately, all I can think about is having a divorce. He's a sweet guy most of the time but he has a marijuana habit. He has a prescription from the doctors but it's just an excuse to smoke. When I first got with him, he mentioned that he smoked occationally and because I didn't know him well enough I let it slide. He quit cold turkey when we got together officially but after a couple months he started again. He's really quiet when he's high...and as nice as he is, when he doesn't smoke, he's a mess. He's really grouchy and ansy. I asked him to stop smoking while I was pregnant because it stressed me out, but he couldn't do that for me or his son. I guess all the times he promised to stop and didn't has gotten me bitter. Even now he's set on not quitting even if I ask him. I must mention that we haven't been physical for a long time..and I don't know if it's because of the weed or because he see's me as a mother to his child..or if he's just lost interest. We're both really young and I tell myself that he's still young and he needs his time to be free and what not..but it kills me how our love turned so cold. What should I do? It is me? We currently live in different cities because we are both working. All the lies and broken promises are bottled up inside and when I look at him..it makes me cringe...I don't see him the same and everytime we try to have a conversation..we argue. I get really defensive when he says something to me and when we talk..it's always about him. I guess im being selfish...I just don't know what to do. I'm still young so I know there's plenty of time to change and heal...i'm only 21. Should I change my ways..because it is me too..


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I don’t see that there is anything you need to change. He is the one with the habit. It is not that he can’t change, but that he won’t. He is engaged in an activity that bothers you and alters the way he deals with you. Also how he will deal with his son, now and in the future. If he has a medical condition that requires him to use the ganja he needs to use it in proper quantities. If he has lied to you about it you need to communicate very clearly what it is that you are asking him to do and ask him if he can commit to you to change. Living apart will make trusting him difficult so you must communicate regularly and he needs to get his habit under control. Best of luck.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Some of his meanness might have been withdrawls but those can pass. Have you sat down with him and told him what you need and want out of this marriage?

draconis


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