# Scared



## Livimia (May 20, 2020)

Good evening; I have been married for 19 years and have been chronically ill for the last 8. My husband has not handled it very well and misses his healthy wife. He finally reached his breaking point and has filed for divorce today. We have two 16 year old girls and I haven’t been able to work in 7 years. I am terrified. I will have to live with my parents and see a life of loneliness, continued illness and dependence ahead of me. I have never been so scared.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I'm sorry that you're in this position and having to deal with this.

Have you talked to a lawyer yet? Most will do free consultations and many are still working via phone calls, or may have opened up recently. You really should consult a lawyer, or two (second opinions are always good), and see where you stand. You need to protect yourself and talking to a lawyer may help with _some_ of the worries you have.

You have been married for a long time and your husband has been providing for you, chances are he will have to pay alimony. That alimony may or may not have a time limit on it, that varies by state and circumstances, but it will likely help with some of your expenses.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Livimia said:


> Good evening; I have been married for 19 years and have been chronically ill for the last 8. My husband has not handled it very well and misses his healthy wife. He finally reached his breaking point and has filed for divorce today. We have two 16 year old girls and I haven’t been able to work in 7 years. I am terrified. I will have to live with my parents and see a life of loneliness, continued illness and dependence ahead of me. I have never been so scared.


I am sure that you are scared. You need to build a support system. I don't know what your disability is, but are there support groups for people with our disability?

I agree with Bobert, you need to get an attorney to represent you. Since you have no income of your own, ask the attorney to petition to court to order your husband to pay for your attorney.

Since you are disabled and have been married for a long time, you should be able to get spousal support (alimony). It would be interim alimony and child support until the divorce is final. Then after the divorce is final you might very well get alimony it for life and of course child support until your children are of age. You should be able to get at least 50% of your community assets, which includes 50% of any retirement accounts (401K, etc) that he has.

Have you ever applied for Social Security Disability?


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