# Mom hates my fiance who has had an issue but cleaned up



## Viz (May 21, 2013)

I've been with my fiance since March 2009.

My mom hates my fiance. She claims that my fiance is a junky that stole my dad's painkillers before he died. I know this to not be true because after he died, I found the painkillers that my fiance supposedly stole when going through my dad's stuff. They were in a sealed baggie in his sock drawer. Same exact number and same type they claimed she stole. My parents actually tried to frame her to give me a reason to break up with her.

My mom has told me she didn't like her from the first minute she met her and has never given her a chance. When my dad was dying of cancer it got worse.

My fiance has had trouble with drugs recently (which I didn't know about til xmas eve 2012, she got depressed over the holidays over this) but got help and has been clean for almost 6 months, and it wasn't painkillers. She blamed the fact that my parents, (just my mom now) hate her as the reason for her depression and subsequent descent into drugs. 

I love her because she's a good person, and treats me very well. She's had some bad breaks in the past, such as a marriage to a husband that dodged taxes (divorced 3 years now), but has been really good to me and loves my son. 

I love her very much. My mom thinks she's taking advantage of me and has given me an ultimatum. She's gone as far as telling my ex wife (who I have a son with) that I'm cohabiting with a drug user to try and put pressure on me from a custody viewpoint. This happened before my fiance ever actually had any issues.

I'm really sick of it all and it's really starting to turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.

I'm ready to break off ties with my mom because it depresses my fiance when I go there for xmas and other holidays without her. However I don't feel it's fair to my son to deny him a relationship with his grandmother, whom he knew before the relationship started.

If it was just me I'd have told my mom to screw off a long time ago and I wouldn't be speaking to her any more.

What makes it even worse is I got my mom a job where I work, and we go out to lunch a lot. Lately it seems as though all she wants to talk about is talking me out of my relationship. I'm ready to file an HR complaint and am looking for a new job already.

I think I'm going to cut ties with my family. Give me a reason why I shouldn't.

The irony in all of this is that my brother had a 10 year cocaine problem where he lost everything and had to file bankruptcy, with countless rehabs. You'd think my mom would understand that people make mistakes sometimes and it doesn't always mean they are scumbags. 

I'm a grown man and don't feel like my mom should be making judgement calls on who I am with and trying to mess with the custody of my son to pressure me into doing what she wants. I find the fact that she claimed my fiance stole from them reprehensible. I know she didn't because I found the evidence which showed they were making the story up.

My fiance has done _nothing_ to deserve this treatment and it is putting a strain on our relationship.

I've told my mom to drop it and never talk about it again or she'll never see me or her grandson again. I feel bad but I think I deserve to be the one that makes up the ultimatum, since my fiance and I are the ones being victimized.


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