# Think my wife is Bi



## hec (Jan 14, 2012)

We've been married for over 6 years and have 2 small children. After the first year in marriage, she wanted to watch lesbian porn before we got intimate. It didn't bother me because she told me the women were more sensual and nicer to watch than the men. Early last year she told me she fantasizes with being intimate with another woman. She described what she would look like and all the things she wants to do with her. I later asked her about this fantasy and she got defensive so I let it go. A short time after, she told me if I wanted a threesome with another girl. I never asked for one and was never into lesbian porn. She came out of left field with that one. She said she'd do stuff and I'd watch. She then changed her mind and told me it was just a fantasy and she misspoke. A few months ago she started to tell me more about her female fantasies and started to give more details about the sex. She wanted to go to the strip club with me (our first time) to see other women and she had a lot fun. She was touching other women, she wasn't shy, and very flirty. 

I'm open minded and I'm starting to believe she is bi. I know there's a spectrum and every situation is different. I don't know if I'm wrong for thinking she is bi, am I wrong for allowing her to continue to express and want to act out her fantasies, or should I keep things the way they are and have her continue to open up to me and eventually when she's ready she'll tell me exactly what she's going through. 

Just would like help in how to handle this from anyone with experience...thanks!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I know my wife has bi tendencies as I`ve seen her with other women before marriage.

She absolutely denies this here and now though but there`s no disregarding what I`ve seen.

My wife is also interested in bringing a woman into bed with us.
I simply won`t do this for numerous reasons and none of them are pretty.

Let her have her tendencies and even use them as fantasy fodder for your sex life but don`t allow her to explore these fantasies in reality because chances are it`ll harm your marriage.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yeah, as long as she's staying in fantasy land, no harm. But draw the line at actually doing anything, or her doing anything. Going to a strip club with you should be ok if you're ok with it, but even going there by herself might be across the line.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

For starters, she may be bi, bi-curious, just plain open-minded in her fantasy life...labels don't matter.

Simply put, the two of you will need to sit down and determine if this fantasy is to stay just that, or to become reality. If the latter, you'll need to mutually decide on boundaries and decide whether or not you both are prepared to face any consequences that might come from making the fantasy a reality. After all...if it does become reality, that hypothetical "other woman" is no longer an abstract concept, but another living breathing human being who has been introduced into your relationship.

Several years ago, my wife opened up to me that she'd long been curious about being with another woman. After discussing it, I told her that she had my blessing, as long as I at least got to be in the room. She began semi-actively looking for a woman who was interested and agreed to our conditions. Since then, we've faced some problems in our marriage, including an EA and a PA on her part. Since we began rebuilding our marriage, she has told me that she has discontinued her search for a woman to experiment with...despite my never having revoked my permission, she has concluded that, while I may think I can handle seeing her with another woman, she doesn't. So, she's content with it remaining a fantasy, and enjoying the scenery during our monthly trips to our favorite strip club.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

In my experience it is safer to simply assume most women are bisexual.

Keep it in fantasyland, and don't shirk on showing her the benefits of being with a strong, dominant, sexual MAN often.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Even if she is it would still be cheating for her to hook up and have sex with another person- man or woman or even Chaz.


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## SoCalHubby (Jan 7, 2012)

Based on what you've described, I'd say yes, your wife is definitely bi. Join the club. My wife recently discovered she's bi, but she's not inclined to do anything about it, other than enjoy it in fantasy mode, which I thoroughly enjoy. I've encouraged her to explore this realm, but she's reluctant. It's all good. Enjoy the ride.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hec (Jan 14, 2012)

Thanks so much for your replies everyone, I greatly appreciate it. It helps with putting things in perspective when you've never dealt with something like this.


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## lonesomegra (Dec 11, 2011)

I know this may seem silly but out of the blue after a few years of marriage my wife took a huge interest in sucking my nipples. I enjoyed it a while and then tackled her about lesbian tendencies. She denied having any desire in that regard. But it really threw me.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My personal theory based on no evidence whatsoever is that a 100% hetero or homosexual person is rare, if it even exists. I think we all fall somewhere along the spectrum, whether we want to admit it or not.


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