# What can you do WITHOUT a lawyer?



## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

After somethings that happen today I decided I had to get a lawyer to make sure the child support is enforced.  I was wondering what you can do WITHOUT a lawyer? I am going to probably have to ask family for help and I haven't even told them we were having any problems. I can tell you right now that there is no way for him to get an attorney and his family is not going to help me. Can I file any papers at all on my own to just let him know I am serious?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

You can file any paper you like on your own, finallyseewhy. Here is a resource: How To File For A Legal Separation. In fact, I would definitely suggest that you learn all you can on court, court proceedings, filing, motions, etc. Knowledge is strength! 

However you know the old joke, right? "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client" (~Abe Lincoln) :lol: My advice would be to think of your lawyer the same way you think of your doctor. NO ONE knows you, your situation, and what you need and want better than YOU. Thus you direct them what you want and make sure that's what they do. You ask them for counsel and wisely consider what they suggest, but in the end the decision is YOURS to make, not theirs. 

Lawyer does not equal "now I'm not responsible." So learn all that you can, and let your lawyer know that you are interested in doing as much of the paperwork yourself as possible. Maybe you can fill things out and have him review/okay them for errors or suggestions.  That saves you lawyer fees but covers your heiney.


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## cmf (May 21, 2010)

yes! My first step was to contact a lawyer- she recommended we first try collabrative divorce. She sent him a certified letter letting him know I had contracted her services and wanted to start the collabrative process( it is cheaper and does not involve court dictating settlements) he was also to contact a collabrative divorce lawyer and she included a list for him. He had 30 days to respond. He did not respond and lied to me that he had. After the 30 days, my lawyer filed a complaint in court asking for full and permanent custody of the children, child support, alimony and payment of all my legal fees. She cited abandonment and infidelity and stated his home was immoral as he was living there with his mistress. It cited his drinking, verbal mistreatment and failure to provide support for the children and I for several months. It was pretty brutal and it was hand delivered by the sheriff's department. He took attention then and was furious with me for several months. He finally got a lawyer ( I have no idea how he is paying for it- probably some relative is helping him)and his lawyer advised him to enter collabrative divorce process. Most lawyers in the US require a retainer before they will even take a case. I think my husband may have used money he should have given me for support to pay the lawyer. It is not a pleasant process and in my state one must attend a "parenting children of divorce" class and a court orientation class that really will make you want to avoid going before a judge at all costs. Judges do not care about personal or moral issues in most cases. It is very business like and support and visitation/custody are 2 separate issues completely. Hope this helps somewhat.


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## finallyseewhy (May 1, 2010)

Thank you sooo much!!! If anything like you guys said I am going to educate myself as much as possible on everything!


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