# Newbie



## Van23 (29 d ago)

Hi, everyone.















I'm a 55 yo man who has been married about 19 years. My wife and I have a 15 yo daughter.







My wife and I are both in agreement on how we are raising our daughter and we share very similar values. 



What's REALLY beginning to grate on my nerves is how much of a "right fighter" she is and how critical over petty crap she can be!



Anyway, I'm glad to be here and I hope to help and learn from others here. 



Thanks!


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Van23 said:


> Hi, everyone.
> 
> I'm a 55 yo man who has been married about 19 years. My wife and I have a 15 yo daughter.
> 
> ...


Welcome to TAM!

So how do you handle the conflict when she makes a mountain out of something 'petty'?


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## Van23 (29 d ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Welcome to TAM!
> 
> 
> 
> ...
















Try to keep quiet and not say anything!







She is such a right fighter, i I agree with her even if she says something I know is wrong because she will insist she's correct and will not let it go! It's not worth arguing about.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Hola Van23! Well welcome to long term marriage. Enough years together and many things we do can grate on each other's nerves!


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## Van23 (29 d ago)

I hope that's all it is.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Old saying in marriage, would you rather be right? Or would you rather be happy? Lol


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

My approach… be smart and pick your battles.

But do battle. If she’s wrong, she needs to know it. She doesn’t have to agree with me, but she needs to know it.

There was a day when I didn’t fight back hardly at all unless it was something really big. She could have told me the sky is green and I’d just agree. Those days are over.

I think agreeing _too_ much to stupid stuff will damage her view of you and she won’t respect your leadership.

Sorry @Van23 if I’m going down a road you didn’t intend.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Welcome to TAM, Van - are the arguments related to something in your marriage, or just her random opinions about other things that she wants you to agree with...or both?

Some things aren't worth arguing over, that's true, but if you have an opinion and it's never being heard, or you're simply not ''allowed'' to have your own voice, that's not healthy. I'm surprised she's not bored with constant agreement. lol


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Are you talking about political opinions leaning toward the liberal left?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Van23 said:


> I hope that's all it is.


What does this mean? Do you have other concerns? What else could it be?

Are you thinking she has some growing dislike for you that is contributing to her argumentative state?


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