# Shoud I give up????



## j5309 (Mar 26, 2009)

Hi im having problems in my marriage and need some help. Alright, here it goes. Ive been with my husband 7 years married for 4 of those. He is almost 28 im 26, we have no children. We are currently living with my Grandmother and my sister due to the fact the my Grandfather past away last September, so we are here to help financially. Weve lived here five months and before that we lived with my parents due to our own financial issues, and we lived with them for a year and a half. So we have not been on our own for almost 2 years. My husband is great he works hard and loves his job. I have never wanted to leave him, I love him, I find him attractive. But ive been really depressed lately I am very unhappy about not living on our own, I was so close with my grandftaher he had alzheimer's/ dementia I helped him alot and he was around my whole life he was like my father. Since ive been living here ive been really mean towards my husband, I dont know why. I call him names and tell him I want a divorce and if he touches me I turn away. I know I dont mean it, I feel so guilty. So anyway the other day we got in a stupid argument then he told me hes unhappy with our relationship and thinks it would be best for both of us to get divorced. He says he still loves me and cares about me and likes me and he finds me attractive. That was a few days ago. Hes known that im not happy here and im depressed. A few weeks ago we were talking about moving to our own place. My b-day was a couple weeks ago he made me a wooden plaque with pictures from the weekend getaway we had right before my b-day. I know he loves me and he would never cheat on me. Ive asked for another chance at our marriage Ive told him i know ive been pushing him away and im sorry, i told him im sorry for everything ive ever done. So I asked if he would stay and get our own place together and see what happens, and try to work this out. At first he would just say im tired of trying, and he doesnt ever see things getting better. Well now hes staying but I dont know if its right. I think one of the things that makes him unhappy is we havent had a child yet, I know he wants to or he did but I wasnt ready. He said hes only happy at work. And last night we were just talking he calls me honey and baby. I just need advice will this possibly work? Or should I just let him go. We love eachother, care for eachother, find eachother attractive. Is he just depressed to? Or have I done too much damage?? Someone please help me?????


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## KitchenVixen (Mar 24, 2009)

if you both love eachother, than there is grounds to work at it, but sometimes you can't always do it just the two of you if you don't know where to start.. my suggestion... try going to a marriage counsellor.. im sick of this stigma aganist going for help regarding anything... but hello!!! it will help you communicate and figure out the first steps to get your marriage back in line..


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

definitely try to work it out. you need to focus on fixing your anger towards him. anger is usually pain that you are afraid to express. you must not like being vulnerable around him. 

there is a lot you can do. there's a lot on the web about communication, anger, there are books you can buy, and you can go to counseling. just take it one day at a time but keep trying something new. remember the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results. it'll be worth it in the long run.


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## kimberly (Apr 8, 2009)

I am asking this same question we've been married eight years on hte 23 and he says's he isn't in love anymore but he has a drug problem weve been together ten years and i don't want to let go hes the love of my life but he says he doesn't feel the same. he says i dont turn him on anymore and he wants me to let him go. im 28 hes all ive known hes 35 what do i do.


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## briannak (Mar 12, 2009)

Maybe the reason your mad at him is becuase you feel he is not providing for you like you feel he should. When my husband lost his job two years ago, we almost lost everything. I was juggling two jobs, had to move in with his parents (which i hated), and come home to him everynight watching him play video games and not have a care in the world. I told him how unhappy I was that we were living there but he didn't really get how unhappy I really was. That made me angry with him. I started to call him names, gross out when he touched me, made me want to spend time away from him. I wanted to have children with him before, but slowly I stopped seeing him a reliable and I kind of got turned off by the idea of any future with him. So I basically told him to get his act together or I was going to leave. He got a job right away and we were able to buy a house six months later, it took alot of dedication on his part though.


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