# I have filed for divorce, but he won't leave. Advice needed.



## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

I finally got the divorce filed, 2 days ago. 

He won't leave. He's still living here in the house. I'm safe, but agitated. He has told me that he goes through my laptop bag daily.

My question is... How can I make him go? He is on the title of the house, but I don't want to be living with him until the whole thing is finalized.

We have 2 children, a home we own, and lots of stuff (like everyone else that has been married 15 years).

Anyone know?


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Unless you feel threatened and can get a restraining order, I don't think you can make him leave until the divorce is final and ownership of the house is awarded. Until that time he has just as much right to live there as you do.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Actually that's ALMOST correct but not quite. If he's on the title you can't make him leave, but in the Temporary Orders you can request that the judge award you *"Exclusive Use."* This means you ask the judge to determine in the Temp Orders who stays in the house and who moves out, and if he is ordered to move out, at that point you can change the locks because it is court-ordered. 

Between now and the Temp Orders, you'll have to hang in there, but I personally suggest moving to another bedroom, putting a lock on that bedroom door, locking your possessions in that room, and wearing the key on your person at all times! Make a copy and keep it at the office or give it to a neighbor you trust in case he tries to "break in." Or leave your laptop at work if you have a professional office or locker where you can lock it. 

Finally, please do not go the route of filing a temporary restraining order unless there really is physical violence or threats to harm you. So many people use that as a legal "weapon" to kick their spouse out, and it's intended to protect either spouse if they are in an unsafe situation.


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

Thanks for the replies!

I was all over google when I wrote this, and found out about the Motion for Temporary Exclusive Use of the Family Home. 

So, I started with a letter to his attorney, telling him that I'm prepared to file the motion, and simply asked him to encourage H that separation (with a week's warning to the children) is needed. There were other things, too, so we'll see.

I have been sleeping in a different bedroom for months, so that continues.  I have now password protected my laptop and cell phone... I don't lock the bedroom, though, but it's a good point. Might get to that.


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