# Ever have dreams of your ex?



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I have been divorced for seven years, the ex and I rarely communicate since the kids are out of school, heck I haven't seen her in over two years, our lives are completely detached, truthfully I rarely even think about her.

A couple weeks back she sent me a text about a fund raiser they are having for her brother to pay hospital bills, he's a 45 year old alcoholic dying of liver failure. That contact seems to have triggered my thoughts and suddenly I'm having all these dreams with my ex in them, and none of them are good! lol

Last night I dreamed we were divorced yet still living together and she wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday. My dream mind knew she was with someone else and I told her I wanted her to move out, we are divorced there's no reason she is still living with me. She instantly goes into "poor me" mode arguing about how hard she's trying and I don't understand....blah blah blah. When I wake up I feel emotionally drained and depressed from having to deal with her again, then I come fully out of my dream fog and lay there relieved thinking "thank god it was only a dream" 

Seems kind of silly to even post this, maybe even a tad embarrassing. I guess I'm just looking for some solidarity from others so I know my mind isn't snapping!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Yes, I do. 

When we were still living in the same house earlier this year and things were just awful, I had dreams that things were just fine and good and I'd wake up sad that it wasn't the case. Even after I moved out, I probably had one or two. But now when I dream about him, they are like yours. Not good at all. In my dreams, I've been forced to be back together with him, or we're living in the same house but not together, and it's horrible. I just want him to get away from me. I don't have any GOOD dreams about him anymore. The other night I had a dream I lived in a house with a lot of woods behind it and I was outisde; all of a sudden people--men and women--started falling to their deaths from tree stands in the woods. Like 50 people or so. My ex has two tree stands in the 10 acres at his house and hunting season is coming.....was this some kind of prediction? I have a lot of dreams that come true.....maybe I should warn him.....

I have good dreams about my ex from college, though. Probably because there was a good and amicable kind of closure there and I have a lot of respect and admiration for him as a person. In those dreams we're always reconnecting/getting back together. (No desire at all for that, though. He's happily married with 2 kiddos). 

I also have great dreams about my dad <3.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

The first year of the divorce I had a repeated dream that I was at my favorite vineyard with my friends and my ex storms in the room and kills me. When I woke up, I honestly considered that a possibility (he has a bit of a temper but never hit me). Then I thought about it and realized he would never make that much of an effort for anyone.

I also read a few dream interpretation books that said being murdered can be a sign of change, that I wanted to escape or leave my old self and make a new start. I liked that.

Its not surprising that some contact after a long period of no communication would trigger some of the old feelings. It put you right back to the feelings you had in the divorce. Those were your last emotions of her.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Very rarely, but I'd call them nightmares, not dreams.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Sometimes, but I can chase her away with fire, holy water, and garlic. She sucks the life out of me when she is around.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Periodically, but rather infrequently, I do have dreams of both of my cheating ex-wives!

XW#1 comes into view whenever I dream of my boys as children, but they aren't what I'd call dreams of a negative connotation~ it's just her being a mother to them at various stages of their lives! Early post-divorce, when she had occasional BF's, I always thought that she'd be flaunting them in my face ~ which never really occurred! I did have a dream about her once where she tearfully confessed that I was "the best thing that ever happened to her in her life and that her stupidity and pride let her succeed in tearing our family apart and that she hoped that I could come to forgive her for her actions. Strangely enough, some six months ago, she caught me making one of those long night drives back home where she actually did beg for my forgiveness and say that she wished that we could find it in out hearts to reconnect as partners and as a family; leaving me rather speechless! Truth be known, however, "that ol' dog ain't gonna hunt" because I will not even dream of reembracing her bipolarism and her painful mental abuse of both me and my boys in their childhood and adolescence!

Now as far as my RSXW#2 is concerned, I only dream of her in sequences of whenever I am having dreams of being romantically involved with another female party ~ she and her paramours come into view telling me all of their advices for keeping her and chiding me for being the lack of man that I am! These "nightmares" really wake me up in a cold sweat, and then they just seem to go away! Communication-wise, I haven't spoken to the woman since our final divorce hearing back in 2013, and that's the way I want to keep it.

This depressing "mind-movies" of her feverishly boinking both of her BF's while we were married to each other have long since gone away! So I feel that I've made some real progress there!


*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Very rarely do I have dreams about any of my ex's. One of my more frequent dreams (tho still kinda rare...) is of my mom and dad getting back together...NOT a good thing! I can remember waking from those with the most horrible feeling in my stomach. Just, ICK....


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I do and one of my observations is that often times the dreams come about whenever I have some small epiphany or breakthrough. It is almost as if my ego goes into open rebellion against my self in order to maintain the drama and feelings of victimhood. If I read something or discover something one evening, I typically wake up the next morning having dreamed about my ex the night before. Usually in relation to and in opposition to whatever tidbit of clarity I had acheived the day before.


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## anewstart60 (Sep 24, 2015)

I have dreams about my ex every once in a while. They are usually triggered by some reminder of her that day.
I used to be a bus driver and years ago I was retrained into the IT world.The money, hours, work and all around job is much better. It doesn't happen much anymore but I used to dream that they made me go back to driving a bus and no matter how hard I tried to explain that I wasn't dong that job anymore they made me do it anyway. In the dreams I would really panic that I might have forgotten how to drive the bus but the worst was always dreaming I lost the bus. I would dream I couldn't find my bus and would just panic that they would find out, it always seemed quite real after I woke up even though I knew it was a dream.
This is the best way I can describe the dreams about my ex, they always involve me going back and freaking out about what a huge mistake I had made. Sometimes they involve having sex with her and those are really bad ones, the feeling of "what did I just do?" and how this would really make things worse freaks me out.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Well I'm glad it's not just me!

Most of the time I enjoy dreams, it's fun how your mind takes all the bits and pieces of your life and mixes things around in crazy dream scenarios. But dreaming about my ex is never good, I think they call them anxiety dreams, like dreaming of not being able to find your classroom back in your school days. Funny how my dreams of her have changed though, when we were married I always dreamed of her cheating or being stupid drunk (which turned out to be visions, lol). The dreams I have been having the last couple of weeks are of her being back in my life and me being depressed as hell about it.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Cooper said:


> I have been divorced for seven years, the ex and I rarely communicate since the kids are out of school, heck I haven't seen her in over two years, our lives are completely detached, truthfully I rarely even think about her.
> 
> A couple weeks back she sent me a text about a fund raiser they are having for her brother to pay hospital bills, he's a 45 year old alcoholic dying of liver failure. That contact seems to have triggered my thoughts and suddenly I'm having all these dreams with my ex in them, and none of them are good! lol
> 
> ...


There's a lot of baggage and memories attached to Exes so I bet most people have the occasional dream dealing with some of that baggage. I think it's normal. Annoying but normal.


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## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

I've had plenty of dreams where I argue with my ex, and I say even worse things than I ever did in actual fights. Raw emotion: grief, rage, pain, disappointment, feelings of abandonment. The really vivid dreams tend to happen if there's a problem with my CPAP unit, like me crimping the air tube by rolling over wrong. Lack of oxygen drives up stress levels, leading to intense, often aggressive dreams.

I also sometimes have the dream where we're together, either because we reconciled post-divorce or because we never split up. I always know during the dream that it isn't real. Most of the time I wake up from those feeling profoundly sad. But lately I've been staying away from her (which also means not seeing my kids, and I hate that) and trying to clear my head. Let go of the harmful emotional patterns I've built up around her, focus on acceptance and something close to tranquility. After I stopped going around her, I had one of those false "we're together" dreams, and I woke up from it saying to myself "it wasn't real, and I'm okay."


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Nightmares....
That she is back in my life or trying to take my kids


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Mr.Fisty said:


> Sometimes, but I can chase her away with fire, holy water, and garlic. She sucks the life out of me when she is around.


:lol:


Brilliant! 

Bibi


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

For the first eighteen months after my divorce, I didn't dream of my ex-husband at all but for the past six months I have now and then. 

In those dreams, we're still living together but he knows I'm divorcing him and although he's dating (which he actually started doing before I filed in real life) he doesn't want the divorce (which was also true in real life). In other words, a very similar situation to what I lived. 

I'm always glad to wake up and realize all of that is done and over with. I'm free of his drama.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

I have nightmares 2-3 times a week almost always about being rejected. The OW is also in the nightmares and she is insulting me.
Extremely vivid. Horrible.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

My nightmares were triggered by contact.

I would dream of performing sexual acts on her, during the acts I would come to realize she had just recently had intercourse with somebody else and I unknowingly cleaned him up.

Immediately I would wake up and a few times vomited. Since going no contact the dreams haven't reoccurred. Even as I think of them often, it isn't reoccurring, but once she initiates contact via text, and dumps her drama, the nightmares are certain to follow.


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