# To leave or hurt and stay



## babigirl.90 (Sep 27, 2014)

So, i'm 24 years old have been with my husband for 8 years married for 5.. 
I guess you could say ive fallen out of love with him.. theres no attraction and no feeling of love anymore.. yerh i love him and care for him but im not in love with him and it feels like this isnt right anymore and most of the time im numb to emotions. 
So last year i decided to leave i told him that ive fallen out of love and i dont want to hurt him so we split... in this talk i watched his heart break right in front of me and in return that broke mine right along beside him.. 
I then lived by myself for a week and cried every day and had nobody around me.. soo yep we ended up getting back together and i got that feeling of ''Love'' back again... at least for a few months.. 
Its now like a yr and a half later and im depressed due to the fact im not happy where i am but also dont want to hurt him again but am hurting myself while staying here.. 
I know my parents would support me and my family and friends as they were there last time... i just dont want to deal with his pain...


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> i just dont want to deal with his pain...


Yeah wouldn't that be convenient!

Leave him but please leave him for good. Don't crawl back to him when you find yourself lonely while he's moving onto better partners who might be more loyal.

Don't try to be his friend either. 

Just leave and divorce asap. He deserves better.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

Leave him and for both of your sakes I would suggest you both go no contact. No contact will give you the space a d time you both need to move on with out the other.


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

babigirl.90 I feel your pain. Getting married young is not a successful long-term strategy nowadays.

Your big enemy here is indecision. You're young enough that you still have good choices, so, really, I just suggest that you pick either "stay" or "leave" and go with it.

Leaving is pretty straightforward. In that case, I agree with synthetic- go, and go for good. No backsliding. Get on with your life, and go get some experience while trying to find some other man that will be loyal to you and not just see you as a sex object.

If you decide to stay, well, you can always leave later.

Ha ha just kidding. Actually, get some counseling on yourself and the relationship. Spend some time figuring out what you want in life, how to get there, and whether or not you can get there with your husband.

Marriage can be a tough row to hoe, but it is worth it.

Just remember that you won't always be a young woman, and good men remain hard to find. Think carefully about what you're tossing aside.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

I say leave. If you do not love him there is little reason to stick around. Hopefully he would meet a woman who will love him and vice a versa.


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## IcePrincess28 (Aug 4, 2014)

Leave and divorce. But here's a different way to think of it. 

You may think it's him that's making you unhappy. This could be true. Or it could be that you're feeling unfulfilled in life and need to rediscover yourself. 

Either way. In leaving him- you'll be able to find out what it is that is truly wrong. And it's wrong to have someone waiting around for you while you figure something like that out.

You got together at 16. That's soooooo young. You don't know a life without him and possibly could resent him for this. He shouldn't be punished for things that are out of his control. So yes. Definitely let him go.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

There is only one thing to do here... Go and stay gone, coming back to him is only adding salt to the wounds. Yes its horrible for him... he loves you and he does not want to lose you.... But you cant give him the same in return... Your making things worse by playing with his feelings. I am not saying nastily, but your not in love with him.. so staying with him because you feel sorry for him is wrong.

At first its going to to be hard for him, but as time goes on it will get better for him in the long run. I do not think that staying with someone because you feel sorry for him its the right thing to do, your man deserves to be happy. I think it was wrong of of you to leave and then come back, Only to be in the same predicament.


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