# Blew my 180 today!



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

I was doing very well with my 180 until today. For the last 2 weeks, I have made myself unavailable to my H. Brief text about kid pickup times. Nothing more! I "forced" my H to start taking my D every other weekend to spend some quality time with her. D went to H last night and returned today at 4. I went to food store so I would not be there when he dropped off. Unfortanetly, I was unloading groceries when he pulled up. Have not seen or talked to him in weeks. He tried to help me with the bags and acted like he still lived there. Came in and fed the fish and drank a sode. My daughter told me he took her to a gym last night with his tramps kid and then they had breakfast this morning with the tramp. I was livid. I went outside and argued with hime about having his reamp around my kid. Then I started yelling and broke down and started crying. He said I was acting CRAZY and I just walked away. Then I calmed down and sent him an email. I told him I was trying to raise my D with morales and values. We were both brought up Catholic and somehow he took a detour from his beliefs. I did not want his tramp around her and she would not be spending anymore time with him if his tramp was anywhere near by. This girl has been texting my H for 1 year and has 4 DUIs. She has been evicted from 2 homes, fired from job and works at these low life bars. Not an example of someone I want my child around. 

I will start my 180 again now and try to move forward without him affecting my every moment. I am so mad I could spit nails!!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sorry you`re hurting but keeping your husbands daughter away from him is probably a bad idea.

I know it would send me straight to the nastiest lawyer I could find.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Sorry you`re hurting but keeping your husbands daughter away from him is probably a bad idea.


I agree with tacoma..


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

You need to start looking at the terms of the divorce. Concentrate on that. 

Start putting a formal plan together. Give you something to concentrate on.

Don't worry about busting the 180 . We all do it. Just deep breath and start again.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Try modifying the arrangements with your husband, set up a firm child schedule, nominate an intermediary to filter out the communication , set a drop off location for your daughter , your parents or have her picked up directy from school . You have to create distance between him and yourself, you don't communicate with him , he does not communicate with you, every time he sees you he gets stronger and you weaker , he subconsciously tells himself your behaviours are why he had an affair.

As for the OW speak to attorney to stipulate in writing that the OW is not allowed to have any contact with your daughter, if your husband declines go to court and have it formalised . Don't accept it if your attorney tries to suggest otherwise , this clause is often part of a separation agreement.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> As for the OW speak to attorney to stipulate in writing that the OW is not allowed to have any contact with your daughter, if your husband declines go to court and have it formalised . Don't accept it if your attorney tries to suggest otherwise , this clause is often part of a separation agreement.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

The morality clause can definitely be incorporated into any separation agreement and divorce decree. Quite a few people do that.


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Thanks for everyones input. I am a lot calmer today 

I had been hoping that my H and I could try to reconcile and was under some false dillusion that he was actually sorry for the affair and lifestyle choices lately. His emails have been very confusing..

First he loves me and miss me, then he admits to making so many mistakes and apologizes to me and states he is scared of everyones reaction if we tried again, then he brings his tramp around my daughter and tells his brother that tramp would love to meet the family. 

His brother, sister and mother have told him that she will NEVER be accepted by the family and that what he did was wrong on so many levels. 

I am starting my 180 again today and will file for divorce once I get some funds together. The retainer is what is stopping me at this point. 

My heart has been ripped out and shredded by all the things he has done in the marriage to destroy our love and commitment to each other. No longer hopeful of reconciling, just to cash poor to file this very moment.


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## useable (Aug 31, 2011)

good for you, go dark or you can ignore him for your good


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

> Don't worry about busting the 180 . We all do it. Just deep breath and start again


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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