# Should I accept or reject this proposal?



## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

Please give me your advise or share some thoughts on this.

I finally met up with the husband yesterday to talk about the steps we need to take to move ahead. His proposal is that - we put the house up for sale as soon as possible, and split all assets. He wishes to give me financial support for up to 1 year, or until I find a decent job, whichever comes sooner. He's in a great hurry to leave the country to start his business abroad. 

And THEN (this is the part that troubles me) - he said, he will look me up probably 1 year later or so to officially file the divorce. The thing is, I am also planning to leave the country next year to do my studies abroad, and my chance of coming back to this present place is remote. 

He is so fixed on me accepting this proposal. I am totally lost on what to do. I can't afford attorneys right now, so please don't tell me to go seek attorney's advise. Oh, and I have been crying buckets lately, I feel so fragile.


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Each country has their own laws so its hard to say. Normally there is some kind of residency requirement to file for divorce so be prepared to deal with that if you are in different places if you decide to wait. Also, 1 year of support may or may not be reasonable depending on the length of the marriage. 

Personally, I dont do limbo well so its either reconcile or divorce for me.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Are you allowed to file the divorce yourself where you are. Where I am at we can file pro se (self representation). No attorney involved. I think the only time you should need an attorney is when either of you can not agree on things or have a contested divorce. It sounds as if you both are in agreement with terms so I would check your local laws to see if you can file pro se. Just be certain that you don't overlook anything such as retirement funds, life insurance, stocks, other investments, etc. Best of luck to you, sorry you are giong through this.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

What he is proposing is an interim agreement while you're separated. If you have no kids and depending on your state (assuming your are in the US) this is a fairly standard offer. Most states would have you sell the home if it has equity or one buy out the other. The splitting of assets is also fairly routing. The fact that he is putting off the divorce is strange.

Let's put if this way, if you were divorcing with no children, no contest, no adultery etc. then this would be a very likely result. Support for a year to get your on your feat is about what you could expect if you are marketable.

I see a couple of caveats. Him leaving the country could mean enforcing the agreement could be hard. Him waiting for the divorce is also strange. Maybe he hopes to be in another country and take advantage of divorce law there. Some times people move to another state, for instance, and just wait. After a period of no contact, they file and post an announcement in the paper of the last place they knew their spouse lived. After a few weeks of no response they get a divorce because the spouse never contests. 

You can talk to a lawyer for free on your first visit usually. It's worth listening to.


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