# What arouses the ladies?



## Cletus

And now for something completely different. 

Dudes - keep your clothes on.

7 weird things that turn women on - Salon.com


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## Runs like Dog

Cletus said:


> And now for something completely different.
> 
> Dudes - keep your clothes on.
> 
> 7 weird things that turn women on - Salon.com


In order to get a column published by Salon at all you have to be a 32 year old alcoholic divorcee who thinks she's bisexual and who hates white people especially if she's white. Salon is for crazy people too crazy to write for Slate and too poor to write for HuffPo.


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## Married but Happy

This just proves that at the end of the day, we STILL have no idea what turns women on. It's one of the insoluble mysteries of life.

Maybe I should do some experiments of my own. Perhaps I'll start with bonobos wearing cologne ...


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## ConanHub

And here I have been trying catnip....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GTdad

I'm really disappointed and surprised that that thing I do where I pretend I'm a towel rack wasn't mentioned. Neither was the "helicopter" dance.


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## Amplexor

Well I guess that buzzing noise and moans coming from the bathroom really were from her electric tooth brush. Who knew?


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## BradWesley

I guess that explains the numerous blow jobs in movie theaters, courtesy of a big box of Good 'n Plenty.


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## Jellybeans

_2. Ten-day-old beards. A study published in Evolution and Human Behavior in April of this year found that straight women are more attracted to men with beards, specifically 10-day stubble and full beards. _

For me, a stubble is sexy as hell. Not so much the beard, but the stubble that's been there a few days. Scruffy is so sexy.

The toothbrush thing on that article is stupid. I have never had an O from toothbrushing.


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## SimplyAmorous

> As we’ve mentioned before, women have been shown to be capable of orgasming from simply THINKING about it, nipple stimulation, exercising, and even giving birth!


 ...I've only read of women like this...reading something erotic, for instance, can do crazy things to my body.. but I still need touched....tooth paste, that's new... exercising ...must be nice! 








....

Cologne does nothing for me either ...too much might even give me a headache...the good'n plenty is odd...she is obviously already turned on... cant say I have ever felt aroused by smells.. 

Before Mid life, could have cared less about seeing a Penis.. I only seemed to notice faces & the up & down look of a body.... once mid life hit...and my hormones surged, suddenly I was checking out bulges and greatly enjoying porn...the close ups & all...(just like a guy!)... so that seemed to be directly tied to my hormones or something..



> *Jellybeans said*:* For me, a stubble is sexy as hell. Not so much the beard, but the stubble that's been there a few days. Scruffy is so sexy*.


:smthumbup:

Beards ...a complete turn off.. take a good looking guy, grow a beard ...just ruins it for me... STUBBLE however.. 

Mmmmmmmm...







...much preferred over clean shaven ...

The thrusting... my results are more in line with the Prostitutes.. not the feminists.


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## Lone Shadow

SimplyAmorous said:


> ...I've only read of women like this...reading something erotic, for instance, can do crazy things to my body.. but I still need touched....tooth paste, that's new... exercising ...must be nice!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ....
> 
> Cologne does nothing for me either ...too much might even give me a headache...the good'n plenty is odd...she is obviously already turned on... cant say I have ever felt aroused by smells..
> 
> Before Mid life, could have cared less about seeing a Penis.. I only seemed to notice faces & the up & down look of a body.... once mid life hit...and my hormones surged, suddenly I was checking out bulges and greatly enjoying porn...the close ups & all...(just like a guy!)... so that seemed to be directly tied to my hormones or something..
> 
> :smthumbup:
> 
> Beards ...a complete turn off.. take a good looking guy, grow a beard ...just ruins it for me... STUBBLE however..
> 
> Mmmmmmmm...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...much preferred over clean shaven ...
> 
> The thrusting... my results are more in line with the Prostitutes.. not the feminists.


Well sh!t SA, that guy is just... pretty.:rofl:

Now then. What arouses the ladies? 

Me.

:smthumbup:


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Well sh!t SA, that guy is just... pretty.:rofl:
> 
> Now then. What arouses the ladies?
> 
> Me.
> 
> :smthumbup:


:facepalm:


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## Holland

Sorry SA but that guy is way too effeminate, not my type at all.

Love facial hair on men as long as it is not a long beard or silly looking bits of fluff stuck in odd places for no reason.

Rock hard abs are a bit meh.

Apart from that pretty much everything does it for me, I am a very visual person and can be thinking about sex while doing 5 other things.
I love aftershave contrary to the article.
I can almost O from giving a BJ and nipple stimulation.

As for my immediate life, there is so much that he does that arouses me, those shoulders and long legs. His voice, his smile. 
And here is a strange one, watching him brush his teeth gets me going (not that I need much to get me going). We are odd in that we often hug while brushing our teeth, maybe it is part of the getting ready for bed/sex routine that triggers me but yum I love it when he brushes his teeth


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## Lone Shadow

Holland said:


> Sorry SA but that guy is way too effeminate, not my type at all.


See? I'm not the only one. He's too cute to go to prison.

I like my Van ****, but I have to keep it trimmed close because my mustache likes to handlebar on it's own. I'll shave most days, though I like some stubble on my face. The neck beard is just something I have no patience for though.

Shaving isn't just something that has to be done. It's an experience. It's an experience that I enjoy.


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## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> :facepalm:


Hehe.

Confidence without c*ckiness. That's what it's all about, yes?

Mods- I need a smiley with aviators please. When you've got time. Thanks.

:smthumbup:


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## thenub

I read the title of this thread and all I could think is "certainly not me"


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## SimplyAmorous

> *Lone Shadow said* : *Well sh!t SA, that guy is just... pretty*:rofl:





> *Holland said*: *Sorry SA but that guy is way too effeminate, not my type at all*.



I've been told this NUMEROUS times when I post photos of the type of men I find sexy.. and that picture grabbed my attention over quite a few...oh what can You do ... 

Biggest turn on to me is a young male pretty boy who can rock a Guitar with long hair...if he has a hairless chest, all the more! Doesn't matter how old I get.. this will always be a turn on to me.. So the manliness is still there in other ways.. 

Or the Pretty boy in dirty levis , all greased up working on his Truck, doing construction.. working those tools/ jack hammers ...you get the idea.. that's HOT !!!

Add some stubble & a little unkemptness...all the more. (Kurt Cobain comes to mind... though his lifestyle I would want to shoot..as it ended up killing him anyway. 

I may like the pretty boys. but nothing in me has any lesbian tendencies ....gotta at least point this out.

It's good there are strange women like me who also prefer their men tipped a little Beta over Alpha.. those guys need some women wanting them too !


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Hehe.
> 
> Confidence without c*ckiness. That's what it's all about, yes?
> 
> Mods- I need a smiley with aviators please. When you've got time. Thanks.
> 
> :smthumbup:


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## Holland

thenub said:


> I read the title of this thread and all I could think is "certainly not me"


And that is exactly what men do not understand and what prevents many from having a good sex life. 

Yes women are visual, yes we have our preferences but there is more depth to women than that.

I love a very tall, broad, good looking *yet balding middle aged man that has a bit of a tummy*, some men here would say he doesn't have the magic triangle or whatever other misnomer men believe because other men tell them too. 

I love him and have sex with him daily plus because he is an amazing person with an exceptional EQ. Many men will disregard the EQ thing because they are told by other men that it isn't important and that only men know what women want. 
But from ALL my discussions on this with other women it is very clear we want men with high EQ's.

You may be short, balding, not muscular but if you have a high EQ, a good SOH and are generally a decent human being then you too can be a beacon of arousal for the ladies.


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## Lone Shadow

thenub said:


> I read the title of this thread and all I could think is "certainly not me"












There, now that the happy feel good meme is out of the way...

Confidence, I think, is a lot like courage. You can't be courageous if you aren't afraid.

With everything I've got going on in my life, I have yet to allow myself to feel pity for myself. I just put on the big girl panties and face the next challenge. The confidence, the courage, to do that despite everything, yeah.. that's what arouses the ladies.


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## TiggyBlue

SimplyAmorous said:


> I've been told this NUMEROUS times when I post photos of the type of men I find sexy.. and that picture grabbed my attention over quite a few...oh what can You do ...


LOL I was looking at that photo thinking "damn she has good taste" 


I'm not sure what I think of most of the list (however I do really like the name Jack).


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## Holland

SimplyAmorous said:


> I've been told this NUMEROUS times when I post photos of the type of men I find sexy.. and that picture grabbed my attention over quite a few...oh what can You do ...
> 
> Biggest turn on to me is a young male pretty boy who can rock a Guitar with long hair...if he has a hairless chest, all the more! Doesn't matter how old I get.. this will always be a turn on to me.. So the manliness is still there in other ways..
> 
> Or the Pretty boy in dirty levis , all greased up working on his Truck, doing construction.. working those tools/ jack hammers ...you get the idea.. that's HOT !!!
> 
> Add some stubble & a little unkemptness...all the more. (Kurt Cobain comes to mind... though his lifestyle I would want to shoot..as it ended up killing him anyway.
> 
> I may like the pretty boys. but nothing in me has any lesbian tendencies ....gotta at least point this out.
> 
> It's good there are strange women like me who also prefer their men tipped a little Beta over Alpha.. those guys need some women wanting them too !


All good SA, it just shows how different we all are and that we know what we want, we don't need anyone especially men telling us what we want.
Like men, women are all different and that is fantastic.

I am a sucker for a hairy chest, hairless is a turn off here. I love well dressed men. A well kept man in a quality suit certainly does it for me.


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## Lone Shadow

On second thought... I actually thought.


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## FeministInPink

Holland said:


> And that is exactly what men do not understand and what prevents many from having a good sex life.
> 
> Yes women are visual, yes we have our preferences but there is more depth to women than that.
> 
> I love a very tall, broad, good looking *yet balding middle aged man that has a bit of a tummy*, some men here would say he doesn't have the magic triangle or whatever other misnomer men believe because other men tell them too.
> 
> I love him and have sex with him daily plus because he is an amazing person with an exceptional EQ. Many men will disregard the EQ thing because they are told by other men that it isn't important and that only men know what women want.
> But from ALL my discussions on this with other women it is very clear we want men with high EQ's.
> 
> You may be short, balding, not muscular but if you have a high EQ, a good SOH and are generally a decent human being then you too can be a beacon of arousal for the ladies.


:iagree:

I love a sponge-worthy as much as the next hot-blooded woman, but like SimplyAmorous says, the personality is much more important than whether or not you look like a movie star. 

Not just EQ, but also confidence (like Lone Shadow said), having a passion/personal interests (which will make you interesting), and attentiveness to her needs/desires--all these are factors in what a woman will find appealing. When a woman finds a man's personality appealing, her physical attraction to him grows.

As a side note: That's not a permission slip to disregard health, fitness, diet, or hygiene... as these factors do reveal much about a man's personality as well. For example, I (and most women) like a man with good hygiene, because it says "I respect and care about myself, as well as the comfort of the people around me."


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## Lone Shadow

Comfort? I'm a Taurus. Comfort is essential.


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## MEM2020

Holland,

Whenever I read your posts - that song: 'out of the darkness and into the light' starts playing in my head.

You deserve this crazy chemistry after the long winter of your discontent.....


QUOTE=Holland;11589305]Sorry SA but that guy is way too effeminate, not my type at all.

Love facial hair on men as long as it is not a long beard or silly looking bits of fluff stuck in odd places for no reason.

Rock hard abs are a bit meh.

Apart from that pretty much everything does it for me, I am a very visual person and can be thinking about sex while doing 5 other things.
I love aftershave contrary to the article.
I can almost O from giving a BJ and nipple stimulation.

As for my immediate life, there is so much that he does that arouses me, those shoulders and long legs. His voice, his smile. 
And here is a strange one, watching him brush his teeth gets me going (not that I need much to get me going). We are odd in that we often hug while brushing our teeth, maybe it is part of the getting ready for bed/sex routine that triggers me but yum I love it when he brushes his teeth [/QUOTE]


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## SimplyAmorous

Holland said:


> I love a very tall, broad, good looking *yet balding middle aged man that has a bit of a tummy*, some men here would say he doesn't have the magic triangle or whatever other misnomer men believe because other men tell them too.


 Boy are we ever opposites Holland... you have just laid out here everything I wouldn't find attractive.. 

Feminist Pink called it "I love a *sponge-worthy* as much as the next hot-blooded woman"... never heard that term before...

I've told my H if he gets a stomach on him.. I'd try to starve him.. the flat stomach IS a huge turn on to me...

Every time I see Daughtry sing...







.. I think to myself.. if only he had hair ... I can't help it.... I LOVE his voice.. but I do not find him the least bit attractive...

I also think younger is ALWAYS hotter.. I guess this is a problem since I am aging.. 

I also don't like grey...No George Clooney look for me... 



> I love him and have sex with him daily plus because he is an amazing person with an exceptional EQ. Many men will disregard the EQ thing because they are told by other men that it isn't important and that only men know what women want.
> But from ALL my discussions on this with other women it is very clear we want men with high EQ's.
> 
> You may be short, balding, not muscular but if you have a *high EQ*, *a good SOH *and are generally a decent human being then you too can be a beacon of arousal for the ladies.


 What is a good SOH ? (I never get the abbreviations , sorry!)

This is another area women are different, some really don't care as much about looks.. but a man's PRESENCE.. even his social status can UP something in her.. or his Intelligence (EQ), his charisma.. 

I thought I'd google EQ .. and found this.. it is often spoken in regards to high earners... so I guess according to EQ's.. that's what separates men then?? 











I was thinking more along the lines of *>>* "how they love & treat a woman, their friends, family, co-workers ...have they earned others respect....are they ethical, can they be depended on for their word.. decent advice givers...holding a Job is very important , I just never put an earning figure on it before.. but living within one's means.. and managing that well ... 

So I looked for something else.. I think this gives more insight to what you are meaning..


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## Holland

Hi SA, yes we are very different in our tastes but how great is that? You know I enjoy your POV.

EQ for me is summed up well with this wiki quote


> Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.[1] There are three models of EI. The ability model, developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, focuses on the individual's ability to process emotional information and use it to navigate the social environment.[2] The trait model as developed by Konstantin Vasily Petrides, "encompasses behavioral dispositions and self perceived abilities and is measured through self report".[3] The final model, the mixed model is a combination of both ability and trait EI. It defines EI as an array of skills and characteristics that drive leadership performance, as proposed by Daniel Goleman.[4]
> Studies have shown that people with high EI have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills. Markers of EI and methods of developing it have become more widely coveted in the past few decades. In addition, studies have begun to provide evidence to help characterize the neural mechanisms of emotional intelligence.[5][6][7]



And thank you Mem, I will look up the song but the title rings true. I am the epitome of a woman that has bloomed with love and intimacy. It is an absolute to me now that the most important thing is a good match, nothing will work otherwise. Well that is what I will impress upon my kids anyway.


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## WandaJ

SimplyAmorous said:


> ...I've only read of women like this...reading something erotic, for instance, can do crazy things to my body.. but I still need touched....tooth paste, that's new... exercising ...must be nice!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ....
> 
> Cologne does nothing for me either ...too much might even give me a headache...the good'n plenty is odd...she is obviously already turned on... cant say I have ever felt aroused by smells..
> 
> Before Mid life, could have cared less about seeing a Penis.. I only seemed to notice faces & the up & down look of a body.... once mid life hit...and my hormones surged, suddenly I was checking out bulges and greatly enjoying porn...the close ups & all...(just like a guy!)... so that seemed to be directly tied to my hormones or something..
> 
> :smthumbup:
> 
> Beards ...a complete turn off.. take a good looking guy, grow a beard ...just ruins it for me... STUBBLE however..
> 
> Mmmmmmmm...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...much preferred over clean shaven ...
> 
> The thrusting... my results are more in line with the Prostitutes.. not the feminists.


I had actually had orgasm in the gym, many times. There is this one machine...... And some stomach exercises are orgasmic too!


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## FeministInPink

SimplyAmorous said:


> Boy are we ever opposites Holland... you have just laid out here everything I wouldn't find attractive..
> 
> Feminist Pink called it "I love a *sponge-worthy* as much as the next hot-blooded woman"... never heard that term before...


I missed a word in my phrasing, I was getting distracted... I meant to say a sponge-worthy hottie/hunk/man-meat....

It's a Seinfeld reference. I'm not a huge Seinfeld fan, but it's such a great phrase, I can't even...

Urban Dictionary: sponge-worthy


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## Holland

Oh sorry SA, SOH is sense of humor


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## FeministInPink

WandaJ said:


> I had actually had orgasm in the gym, many times. There is this one machine...... And some stomach exercises are orgasmic too!


I need to, ah, go to the gym...


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## Lone Shadow

I think (ha!) my EQ is fairly decent. I just don't do social conventions very well. Sure, I understand the rules of the game, but the rules chafe. If I have to play the game, I prefer to play by my own rules.

That's part of where my confidence comes from. Knowing that I can take the rules, stand them on end, and come up with new ones on the fly is a powerful thing. Having said that though, I hold myself to a very high ethical standard, and some things are just a no-go.


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## Lone Shadow

Most importantly, to arouse the ladies, you first have to attract the ladies. Poor grooming does nothing for attraction, and so I give to you:


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## heartsbeating

Jellybeans said:


> For me, a stubble is sexy as hell. Not so much the beard, but the stubble that's been there a few days. Scruffy is so sexy.


Amen. That 'I've just rolled out of bed looking all kinds of sexy' scruffy look... goodness me. 

Although, my husband isn't a hairy kind of guy and I find him sexy as hell too. He isn't buff either - he is conscious of keeping trim to a point though and I am attracted to that. He has slightly long hair and rocks a pair of slouchy jeans as well as a fitted suit. When I picked him up from the airport recently, I was waiting and seeing all the suits (mostly men) walking through and then I spotted him, wearing his suit jacket, with this distinctly relaxed stride he has. Hot. 

Falling asleep wrapped up tight in his arms and against his chest - him wanting me close is sexy. The goofiness and laughter we share, also sexy. I do appreciate a nice cologne. Whether it's natural scents such as sandalwood or cedarwood, or cologne that I find pleasant. I walked the dogs this morning, and detected a hint of his cologne as I came back inside. mreow. Then he was there in his suit looking all delicious. 

Speaking of delicious, how'd Nutella get ruled out of the article?


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## heartsbeating

Flossing is where it's at, absolutely!


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## Lone Shadow

I love my aftershave.


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> I love my aftershave.


Mmmm, that stuff smells good. It would definitely do the trick.


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## SimplyAmorous

Holland said:


> *Oh sorry SA, SOH is sense of humor *


Oh yes.. we all need a man who can MAKE us laugh and bring out the best in us.. who "get" us.. 

But even with sense of humors, much like attraction... people are different ....I do NOT appreciate some people's sense of humor.. they are trying too hard or something... they annoy me more than they may even realize.. . but then other people's I might be falling on the floor laughing -where someone else might think - well that's wasn't anything!.... 

For instance.. I walked into Walmart not long ago, this guy wanted to sell me & my family some portraits.. (I am a sucker for pictures!)... it was that old Antique type where they dress you up in their clothes .. anyway.. 

All I wanted to know is some specific details -before I signed that paper & handed him my $20..... I don't like surprises.. I wanted to know if THEY choose the pic (generally they do -this is how they make their $$)..., how much it would cost if I wanted to buy one LARGE portrait if I didn't want their choice...bla bla.. I didn't want to spend $300 for some huge package either...but buy 1 large family portrait......

Well this Jack a** thought he was going to be funny.. and kept interjecting ....avoiding my questions or near making fun of WHY I was asking...like I don't trust him -he's not trying to shyster me... I found him Obnoxious!!.... he was walking backwards making a big show...he was loud, other people came over ... oH he was having FUN with me !!.. (my H was amused as well but he KNEW I found his guy a total jack a**)...

Oh our sons was having a ball with this..laughing right beside me... I felt like knocking him out.. (mentally of course)..steam should have been coming out of my ears at this point... I ended up walking away from him because he was too busy yakking - he refused to answer my darn questions.. I said to my H.. had that been another salesman, he would have sold me that deal. ..but not that ______! 

I don't know that people are humorless.. what we find funny, however... just like attraction.. can vary from person to person...

Unless they are depressed, or on meds or something... but yeah...its important for our sense of Humor chemistrys to "hit it off"...

I prefer men with a Dry sense of humor.. not one cracking jokes all the time.. I prefer real stories , bantering -even if we have a little fight.. we find humor in the radical honesty we dish out......it's hard to describe.. it's very important for a couple to MESH in humor though.


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## Lone Shadow

I received some unscented glycerin soaps for Christmas. They are slippery enough to be used as shave soap, so I just need to melt them down into a mug. 

I bring it up, because I'm trying to figure out what essential oils to buy, to scent the soap with. I've been thinking a lemon/lime type, or maybe a lavender. There's just so many choices, and the last time I looked at them I just couldn't figure out what I wanted.

ETA: My sense of humor is.. can be.. very dry, and dark. You may want to bring a flashlight.


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## Holland

We just rejoined the gym this week. He can perv on the women while I concentrate on that elusive gym orgasm.


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## Lone Shadow

Now see Holland, that's the difference between women and men. If a man were to have an "elusive gym orgasm," there wouldn't be any way of keeping it discreet. Then he would have to go find a new gym.


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> I received some unscented glycerin soaps for Christmas. They are slippery enough to be used as shave soap, so I just need to melt them down into a mug.
> 
> I bring it up, because I'm trying to figure out what essential oils to buy, to scent the soap with. I've been thinking a lemon/lime type, or maybe a lavender. There's just so many choices, and the last time I looked at them I just couldn't figure out what I wanted.
> 
> ETA: My sense of humor is.. can be.. very dry, and dark. You may want to bring a flashlight.


Since you're going to be using it on your face, you might want to consider not just the scent, but the skincare properties of different oils:

The top 10 essential oils for skincare | Body Unburdened

And there's nothing that says you can't combine oils. For example, lemon+lavender would be really nice.


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## Lone Shadow

I was thinking of a lemon+lavender. I also really like sandalwood. The current shave puck I'm using now is sandalwood.


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## Lone Shadow

One more thing to keep in mind:


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## tangled123

All too interesting and funny to read. 

I can't stand younger men, not even the same age turns me. 

I like them rugged in jeans, not too proper, mysterious and a little hairy.......just like my H. Sh**t I keep falling for the same guy again

It would be so much easier if married men stopped wondering "what women want" and wonder "what their wives want"

Just my thought!


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## Runs like Dog

I just finished watching "The Fall". Apparently women like to be choked and spat on, tied up, photographed and abandoned. And many of them are bisexual and get off on domination.


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## SimplyAmorous

Lone Shadow said:


> ETA:* My sense of humor is.. can be.. very dry, and dark. You may want to bring a flashlight*.


This is Probably exactly what I would like.. I also LOVE a deep thinker -and one who can show emotion..(if none of that is present, it all dies for me)... although my brain is on fire much more so than his....he has told me on occasion...."You think too much!".....though I know he still loves me the way I am.. he's gotten me to near pee my pants at some of the things he has said ...love those moments.. 

I also don't mind bathroom humor where others may feel that's gravely immature ... so go figure.

Did a humor thread to lay out the various styles yrs ago here...

Post #2 lays these out ..with more explanation.....



> *1.* Laugh-at-life humor
> 
> *2*. Bonding-in-the-moment humor
> 
> *3*. Slapstick comedy
> 
> *4.* Sarcasm: Bitter much?
> 
> *5.* Self-deprecating humor
> 
> *6*. Dry/Deadpan humor
> 
> *7*. Highbrow/ Witty humor
> 
> *8*. Jokes at others’ expense
> 
> *9.* “Bathroom” humor.......
> 
> *10*. Quirky cultural references





> *tangled123 said *: *I can't stand younger men, not even the same age turns me.*


 it's not that younger men are better...so many are highly immature, can't settle down (nothing attractive about that AT ALL)...... I am just speaking *PURELY VISUALLY* when I write about this.. 

I would not even date someone too many yrs younger because I'm realistic.. what happened to Demi Moore & what she is inviting again into her life... I wouldn't find that worth it...a hot roll for just a season.. she's grasping for something not sustainable.... all that heartache when they leave her for a younger woman.. .. Wouldn't want to deal with that no way, no how!!...I wouldn't feel his equal.. but lessor. 

I do believe in keeping the ages as close as possible (my H & myself are 3 yrs apart).... anything more than 10 yrs older would be out of the question for me, I'd feel like he was an old man...


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## Lone Shadow

tangled123 said:


> All too interesting and funny to read.
> 
> I can't stand younger men, not even the same age turns me.
> 
> I like them rugged in jeans, not too proper, mysterious and a little hairy.......just like my H. Sh**t I keep falling for the same guy again
> 
> It would be so much easier if married men stopped wondering "what women want" and wonder "what their wives want"
> 
> Just my thought!


Tangled, the problem with understanding what wives, let alone women as a whole, want is simple. The only people on this earth that understand women less than men, are women. 

This thread has been great fun, but all kidding aside, this is what it boils down to:

I'm going to do my thing. If me doing my thing happens to be what a woman wants, terrific. If not, then oh well, it wouldn't have worked anyway. The biggest personal growth type thing that I am able to take away from my failed marriage is this: I will not, under any circumstances, for anyone, compromise or sacrifice who I am. It's not my responsibility to figure out what a woman wants. That's her responsibility. My responsibility is to be true to myself. Through simply being true to myself, and going after *what I want,* the right women will be attracted to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Wolf1974

Sure am glad women's view on men's attarctivness is varied. When I became single again those twlight movies were wildly popular. I Was actually nervous that women now only liked "pretty men" in skinny jeans and no hair.....anywhere.

I'm an old country boy. Tall, big shoulders, and have sruff on the face when not at work. I would never get in skinny jeans. Found many a woman who liked my look although it took me years to update my wardrobe......who knew that cut off jean shorts weren't in style anymore. And jeans that were once popular are now called dad jeans.....


----------



## ConanHub

tangled123 said:


> All too interesting and funny to read.
> 
> I can't stand younger men, not even the same age turns me.
> 
> I like them rugged in jeans, not too proper, mysterious and a little hairy.......just like my H. Sh**t I keep falling for the same guy again
> 
> It would be so much easier if married men stopped wondering "what women want" and wonder "what their wives want"
> 
> Just my thought!


I had the same thought. Every woman is an individual. Mrs. Conan is turned on by many smells but none of them are candy or gasoline. She is extremely visual and loves looking at me naked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Lone Shadow said:


> *I'm going to do my thing. If me doing my thing happens to be what a woman wants, terrific. If not, then oh well, it wouldn't have worked anyway. The biggest personal growth type thing that I am able to take away from my failed marriage is this: I will not, under any circumstances, for anyone, compromise or sacrifice who I am. It's not my responsibility to figure out what a woman wants. That's her responsibility. My responsibility is to be true to myself. Through simply being true to myself, and going after what I want, the right women will be attracted to me.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I LIKE what you say here ...Yes, it does boil down to this.. :iagree:...it should be this EASY, this simple, shouldn't it.....how can we know the














's of incompatibility if we've selectively held back parts of ourselves to appease another person??.... these things too often come back to BITE down the road....we can only fake it for so long, no matter our quirks / our weaknesses/ personality habits .. Some will find these things "endearing".. or at least "livable" while another may find them maddening...causing much heartache... 

What you laid out here Lone Shadow ..(and we've discussed this) really was my H's attitude when he was younger & we met.. though clincher here* >>* *HE is a bonafide authentic Nice guy*...that wasn't an act to win me...ya know the type they say always finishes last...(he was dumped twice before me)

In regards to a "nice guy"...one should still be able to use this phrase without meaning "unauthentic groveling puzzy whipped manipulator" these days...(I did enjoy the book though! )

He was WHO HE WAS, if a girl didn't appreciate what he had to offer...his being considerate, loving and affectionate, being there for her...then what could he [email protected]#$ That's the type of guy he IS, how he is wired... . he wasn't one to play games, or be peer pressured into something to win some tail....

I had the same feelings, I HAD TO BE ME [email protected]#.....which his way of being gave me that "welcoming" ...to let it all loose with him.. we didn't fear being vulnerable, we embraced it early on.....so I look back & feel this simple sharing authenticity with each other.. gracing any/every subject ..this was GOOD..... .things just grew from there...we did have a tremendous amount in common though... from what we enjoyed together to how we looked at marriage / children...to $$...to the type of friends we had..

Yes.. be who you are ! If that needs some tweaking for the better... work on it.. but never " masquerade" ...


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> I'm going to do my thing. If me doing my thing happens to be what a woman wants, terrific. If not, then oh well, it wouldn't have worked anyway. The biggest personal growth type thing that I am able to take away from my failed marriage is this: I will not, under any circumstances, for anyone, compromise or sacrifice who I am. It's not my responsibility to figure out what a woman wants. That's her responsibility. My responsibility is to be true to myself. Through simply being true to myself, and going after *what I want,* the right women will be attracted to me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is such a breath of fresh air. Too many people are obsessed with trying to become what they think the opposite sex wants, which also takes their energy and focus away from being who they want to be and getting what they want. And it results in so many unhappy relationships... because when you peel back that layer of someone's facade, it frequently turns out that they aren't someone you want to be with, after all.

Some people don't get what you're saying; it's beyond their comprehension. I was talking to a colleague at work about this topic a few weeks ago (paraphrased for clarity and the fact that it was several weeks ago): 

HIM: I always try to be the best version of myself on the first couples dates, don't you?
ME: No, I just be myself.
HIM: But don't you really want to impress the guy? Don't you want to present the best ideal you?
ME: That sounds like a bait and switch to me.
HIM: No it's not, everybody does it.
ME: The me I am all the time IS presently the best version of me. I'm not going to pretend to be something other than that to impress somebody. If he doesn't like me for who I am, it's a waste of both our time.
HIM: But don't you want to impress the guy to get a second date? I feel like I really have to impress the girl to get a second date.
ME: That sounds like a personal problem.

There really wasn't much point to that, but I wanted to share because I thought it was funny


----------



## Jellybeans

SimplyAmorous said:


> Every time I see Daughtry sing... .. I think to myself.. if only he had hair


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That seriously made me almost spit out my coffee, SA. Lol.



SimplyAmorous said:


>


Thanks for posting this, SA. That is an important list and good tool to use when assessing someone. I had an ex who fits a lot of the "low emotional intelligence" to a T. Egads.


----------



## TiggyBlue

Runs like Dog said:


> I just finished watching "The Fall". Apparently women like to be choked and spat on, tied up, photographed and abandoned. And many of them are bisexual and get off on domination.


Jamie Dornan's Hot


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Tangled, the problem with understanding what wives, let alone women as a whole, want is simple. The only people on this earth that understand women less than men, are women.


There's a reason for this... as women, we're socially conditioned to neglect our own needs so that we can prioritize those of others. We are taught to be obedient daughters, girlfriends, and wives... much of it is subconscious, and many of our social constructs and behaviors are designed to be pleasing to men. Many women don't know what they want because they've been told by our culture and society that _what they want is irrelevant_, and if they even know what they want, _to pursue it is selfish_.

It can be hard to break out of these constructs and to live life on your own terms, and even when you do, it can be difficult to define what exactly it is that you want when you don't have the language or the terminology to define your wants and your needs, because no one taught you and you have no good role models. In my life, nearly all of my female role models were unhappy because their needs and desires for their lives were subsumed by the needs and the desires of their husbands, so they never taught me to be any different... there was no dialogue about it to help me understand. I had to learn that on my own, through trial and error.

My point is that if, as an individual you've always been taught to repress or ignore your needs and wants, you never really learn how to identify them or articulate them. If you can't identify/articulate your needs, you can't actively seek them out or convey those needs to a partner.


----------



## Cletus

Personally, I was glad to see that gorillas were arousing, at least to the sympathetic nervous system if not the cerebral cortex. It means there's hope.


----------



## Married but Happy

Cletus said:


> Personally, I was glad to see that gorillas were arousing, at least to the sympathetic nervous system if not the cerebral cortex. It means there's hope.


It means there's hope the gorilla will get laid?


----------



## Jellybeans

heartsbeating said:


> Amen. That 'I've just rolled out of bed looking all kinds of sexy' scruffy look... goodness me.
> 
> Falling asleep wrapped up tight in his arms and against his chest - him wanting me close is sexy.


Amen!



heartsbeating said:


> I do appreciate a nice cologne.


Me, too, girl. Nothing sexier to me than a yummy-smelling man with some delicious cologne on. _"Can I eat you, please?" _ :smthumbup:


----------



## Miss Taken

5' o clock shadow is definitely aesthetically pleasing to the eye for me but for...ahem..."practical applications" I do prefer a smooth shave. I'm not a real fan of mustaches or beards. 

I hate strong cologne/body sprays. Especially cheap colognes. Over cologne, or especially cheap cologne I'd prefer a guy that smelled like soap, clean laundry, sawdust (yes I am weird). Gasoline is true for me. 

Chest-hair I can take or leave. If it's hairy, I will rub your chest. If it's bare, I will rub your chest. Don't have to completely shave but at least trim the armpit hair please. 

Keep fingernails short. 

Slap on some moisturizer once in a while. This was a peeve of mine ever since I had my first job as a drive-through cashier as a kid. I would have to take money from people's hands/give change with so many "Edward Sandpaper Hands" coming at me lol. 

Watching my spouse tinker with the car, the stereotype of seeing him laying on the floor under the sink - tools in hand, doing any kind of reno/building/remodeling etc., chopping wood, turns me on. As does watching him lift weights but he does get self conscious if I drool lol.

Watching my spouse when he's tender with the kids. Seeing them cuddling or all sprawled out on the pull-out sofa. Watching him cook. 

Crows feet around the eyes when he smiles. The wrinkle in the middle of his forehead when he makes certain expressions or the back of his neck... adorable. Those v-lines near the hips/pelvis area are very sexy. A nice, hairless v-shaped back, strong shoulders and nice biceps are also very sexy.

Other random turn-ons:
Laughter, lots of laughter and jokes. with good wit and timing. Long conversations/idea sharing. A little rough housing - all in good fun of course. Playfulness and friendly competition like a game of basketball or blackjack with a little smack-talk thrown in on both sides.


----------



## SimplyAmorous

TiggyBlue said:


> Jamie Dornan's Hot


I didn't know who this was so I looked him up.. Oh the Shades of Grey Man.. 










I seen this being advertised on TV, hitting the theaters Valentines day .. I got all excited.. told my H he is coming with me.. I can't wait to see it.. I never did read the book..
and Yes. he is fine...


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Lila said:


> L*OL on the bolded sentence. To make matters even more complicated, women can be aroused by different types depending on their moods. So what might have been the flavor of the week yesterday may be a dud today.*
> 
> You're taking the right approach. Just be yourself.


What you said makes me think of this "Bridge to Hawaii" joke.....



> A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
> 
> The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
> 
> The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, “*Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.*”
> 
> *The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.*”


----------



## Jellybeans

Lila said:


> I'm so disappointed that Charlie Hunnam backed out of that role. He was the perfect 'Christian Grey.'


I think Charlie realized the movie is going to be horrible (even if it sells a ton). He probably didn't want the insta-insane fame that is going to come with it. Good artistic move/decision as an actor who doesn't want to reach fangirl hysteria on that inevitable level, IMO.

The trailer looks so bad. So bad. And the two leads look like the have the chemistry of oatmeal together.


----------



## Rowan

Jellybeans said:


> The trailer looks so bad. So bad. And the two leads look like the have the chemistry of oatmeal together.


:iagree:

I saw the trailer and my first thought was 'it looks like the movie will be almost as bad as the book....', which was so bad that I gave up trying to read it within the first 30 pages.

I'm guessing that's not the reaction they were aiming for.


----------



## Miss Taken

I will wait for a Netflix or other streaming site to release it. I am kind of disappointed with the recasting. I know he's attractive but I'm not attracted to him. Boo. 

Anyway, I actually never read the books. Hoping the movie provides an abridged version of a book I never cared to read.


----------



## Middle of Everything

Wolf1974 said:


> Sure am glad women's view on men's attarctivness is varied. When I became single again those twlight movies were wildly popular. I Was actually nervous that women now only liked "pretty men" in skinny jeans and no hair.....anywhere.
> 
> I'm an old country boy. Tall, big shoulders, and have sruff on the face when not at work. I would never get in skinny jeans. Found many a woman who liked my look although it took me years to update my wardrobe......who knew that cut off jean shorts weren't in style anymore. And jeans that were once popular are now called dad jeans.....


I dont think cut off jean shorts or even made that way jorts were ever in style. 

Well daisy dukes on a hot woman are fine. But men? Uhh no.


----------



## ConanHub

Middle of Everything said:


> I dont think cut off jean shorts or even made that way jorts were ever in style.
> 
> Well daisy dukes on a hot woman are fine. But men? Uhh no.


Yeah. I was clueless until my youngest son had a talk with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runs like Dog

TiggyBlue said:


> Jamie Dornan's Hot


I see he's the '50 Shades' guy. I don't see 'hot' but I guess to each their own.


----------



## Lone Shadow

SimplyAmorous said:


> What you said makes me think of this "Bridge to Hawaii" joke.....


4 lanes please. 

I'm scruffy when I roll out of bed, but the only thing on my mind is coffee. If she brings coffee, I might let her bask in my scruffiness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> 4 lanes please.
> 
> I'm scruffy when I roll out of bed, but the only thing on my mind is coffee. If she brings coffee, I might let her bask in my scruffiness.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How do you take your coffee?


----------



## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> How do you take your coffee?


Just like my women. Hot, strong, and able to fight back. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tangled123

SimplyAmorous said:


> it's not that younger men are better...so many are highly immature, can't settle down (nothing attractive about that AT ALL)...... I am just speaking *PURELY VISUALLY* when I write about this..
> 
> I would not even date someone too many yrs younger because I'm realistic.. what happened to Demi Moore & what she is inviting again into her life... I wouldn't find that worth it...a hot roll for just a season.. she's grasping for something not sustainable.... all that heartache when they leave her for a younger woman.. .. Wouldn't want to deal with that no way, no how!!...I wouldn't feel his equal.. but lessor.
> 
> I do believe in keeping the ages as close as possible (my H & myself are 3 yrs apart).... anything more than 10 yrs older would be out of the question for me, I'd feel like he was an old man...


I totally agree with you SA (BTW I have read your posts a lot and am your fan)

maximum 10 for me too, my H is 8 years older than me.


----------



## Wolf1974

Middle of Everything said:


> I dont think cut off jean shorts or even made that way jorts were ever in style.
> 
> Well daisy dukes on a hot woman are fine. But men? Uhh no.


They certainly were where I grew up in the 80's. Just never got the memo they went out lol


----------



## tangled123

Lone Shadow said:


> Tangled, the problem with understanding what wives, let alone women as a whole, want is simple. The only people on this earth that understand women less than men, are women.
> 
> This thread has been great fun, but all kidding aside, this is what it boils down to:
> 
> I'm going to do my thing. If me doing my thing happens to be what a woman wants, terrific. If not, then oh well, it wouldn't have worked anyway. The biggest personal growth type thing that I am able to take away from my failed marriage is this: I will not, under any circumstances, for anyone, compromise or sacrifice who I am. It's not my responsibility to figure out what a woman wants. That's her responsibility. My responsibility is to be true to myself. Through simply being true to myself, and going after *what I want,* the right women will be attracted to me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I feel that in the real world the probability of finding someone who enjoy 100% of what we want is slim, based on my experience, if one partner is fully happy that he/she gets to be 100% the way they want, the likelihood of the other partner suffering at least a little is very high. 

I am old fashioned and believe that marriage is to share our life with another not just the room or the house, its two people becoming one yet remaining who they are. Its easier to just be ourselves and not worry about our partner's needs but to be ourselves and yet fulfil each other's needs a lot more commitment and skills. Without some giving and taking this is not possible. We may find someone who wants to do all that we want to do but what are the chances that they will remain the same and will not grow and evolve? After all "change is the only constant in life". 

Before marriage, I don't watch soccer and its H important hobby. I can easily let him watch it for days and go find my own things to do but to do that I don't have to be married, we could have just been friends. I wanted to share his interest so learnt to watch it, not that he compelled but was totally over the moon that I actually can watch an entire game with him and truly enjoy it and the resulting reward in the bedroom was epic for me. I believe "the more you give, the more you get". 

I know many of you will not agree with me, our prior experiences have shaped who we are and that's okay. There are no right or wrong way. I am 38 and grew up reading romance fictions set in the 17th/18th century and so may have these beliefs. Divorces are on the rise because we can't give and take anymore? There are many successful marriages that allow each partner to be who they are without changing a single thing and there are successful marriages that has two people who share and evolve together, the later is not easy and I salute those who have made it. Either way, being happy is most important thing in life so it makes perfect sense to want to remain as who we are if that is what will make us happy.


----------



## Holland

SimplyAmorous...........
it's not that younger men are better...so many are highly immature said:


> PURELY VISUALLY[/B] when I write about this..
> 
> I would not even date someone too many yrs younger because I'm realistic.. what happened to Demi Moore & what she is inviting again into her life... I wouldn't find that worth it...a hot roll for just a season.. she's grasping for something not sustainable.... all that heartache when they leave her for a younger woman.. .. Wouldn't want to deal with that no way, no how!!...I wouldn't feel his equal.. but lessor.
> 
> I do believe in keeping the ages as close as possible (my H & myself are 3 yrs apart).... anything more than 10 yrs older would be out of the question for me, I'd feel like he was an old man...


I don't see younger men as hotter, never have. I enjoy perving on men my own age or older, younger men are a complete turn off.

Have to agree with the age gap, never dated or married a man more than 10 years older. Had a FWB that I made an allowance for because the sex was amazing, he was 11 years older.
Only once dated a guy that was younger and it was a 2 year age difference, that was when I was 20 and ever since then it put me off younger men.


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Just like my women. Hot, strong, and able to fight back.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, like Wonder Woman? Have you noticed my avatar? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

Holland said:


> I don't see younger men as hotter, never have. I enjoy perving on men my own age or older, younger men are a complete turn off.


I can't say I see younger guys as hotter either.


----------



## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> Oh, like Wonder Woman? Have you noticed my avatar?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Maybe. Or maybe Cat Woman. Something so enticing about leather and a whip. 

Holland- actively crushing the dreams of cougar-hunters everywhere.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

The hottest thing about Cat Woman is.... Batman.


----------



## Pooh Bear

Intelligence. Totally hot! I love geeky guys.


----------



## ConanHub

Well this young man snagged a 31 year old cougar when he was 20. I had several lovers that were 5 to 10 years older than me before I met Mrs. Conan. As a rule, I generally agree with the age difference thing. 

I am a rebel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lone Shadow

Alright ladies...


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Maybe. Or maybe Cat Woman. Something so enticing about leather and a whip.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There are some leather Wonder Woman costumes out there... and she does have that lasso...


----------



## Lone Shadow

SimplyAmorous said:


> ...words words words... Funny test... words words words...




This thing says my humor style is clean/complex/dark. Dark is a given. Complex? Synonymous with dry, mayhaps? Clean? Ha! I can do clean, but my mind tends to live in the gutter.


----------



## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> There are some leather Wonder Woman costumes out there... and she does have that lasso...


Leather Wonder Woman costumes? Oh! Xena! Mmmmm Xena...


----------



## FeministInPink

Holland said:


> I don't see younger men as hotter, never have. I enjoy perving on men my own age or older, younger men are a complete turn off.
> 
> Have to agree with the age gap, never dated or married a man more than 10 years older. Had a FWB that I made an allowance for because the sex was amazing, he was 11 years older.
> Only once dated a guy that was younger and it was a 2 year age difference, that was when I was 20 and ever since then it put me off younger men.


I think going younger presents less of an issue when you're 35 than it does at 20. When I was in my late teens and 20s, I was only interested in dating older men. My XH was 6 yrs my senior, and it was like living with an old man... since the divorce, everyone I've dated has been my age or younger, with one exception. And I would not repeat that exception. Now, I prefer slightly younger... 2-3 yrs younger, 5 yrs max.


----------



## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> Now, I prefer slightly younger... 2-3 yrs younger, 5 yrs max.


Well hi there. How you doin'?

Anybody tell you that I prefer older women? If not.. well.. I prefer older women.


----------



## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Well hi there. How you doin'?
> 
> Anybody tell you that I prefer older women? If not.. well.. I prefer older women.


Oh, really???

It's a shame, then, that I'm taken


----------



## Thundarr

I was going to read all of the comments before adding anything but I'm on pages 2-3 and the gym orgasms. Thank you TAM ladies for sending my mind into perv mode. Now I'll think about this thread when I go to the gym.


----------



## Lone Shadow

Story of my life. Day late and a couple dollars short. 

Guess I'll go diving. By the by, did you know.. Divers do it deeper?


----------



## Hopeful Cynic

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Chivers a few years ago and discussing her research with her. One theme was that men are turned on visually by sexual characteristics that match their preferences, while women are turned on by the ‘idea’ of sex, even if it’s triggered by something they don’t personally find stimulating, such as the wrong gender preference or bonobos. (This accounts neatly for the popularity of pornography for men vs erotic literature for women, by the way.) So the women turned on by apes mating is not because they find the apes desirable, but because it reminds them of the ‘idea’ of sex that they might like to have in the proper context. One of her theories about why this may be was that it developed to protect women’s bodies during rape. Even if they mentally did not want sex, if it happened anyways, their bodies would lubricate to prevent injury. 

Her research also contrasted anatomical differences - that men are always very aware of their arousal level because it’s external, but women are not because it’s internal. With her gizmo that measured female arousal, she found that women’s verbal reports sometimes disagreed with their actual physical arousal. So women can look at the bonobos mating and mentally know it’s not sexy to them, but their bodies are going “uhoh, sex is in the vicinity, and might happen to YOU so get ready.” 

So the lesson I took from this is that for a woman to turn on a man, all she has to do is parade around provocatively, preferably nude or nearly so. For a man to turn on a woman, he has to make her think of sex. Put on a romantic movie in which other people have sex (doesn’t have to be actual pornography), chat her up about the great sex they had that other time, start with lots of foreplay, catch her after she’s just read the sex scene in her novel, etc. Problems develop when each gender expects the other to behave and respond the same as them. 

Or put it completely another way – a man sees his wife coming out of the shower in the morning, presto, he wants to drop everything and take her. A woman sees her husband coming out of the shower in the morning, she’s thinking “okay, have to remember to bring my food bank donation to work today, do we have enough bread to make all the lunches, better have cereal this morning instead of toast, hope the kids aren’t lollygagging or we’re going to be late, what earrings will go with this outfit, why is he taking so long to dry off I’m just going to have to do all the work, etc.”


----------



## Lone Shadow

Hi there Cynic. 

ZZ Top said it best. Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Jeans and a T-shirt? Yeah, I can be sharp in that. Black tie? Think I've got one of those around here. Nice thing about the tie though, is it's dual use. It doesn't just have to go around the neck. Silk ties are wonderful around wrists.


----------



## Hopeful Cynic

Lone Shadow said:


> Hi there Cynic.
> 
> ZZ Top said it best. Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
> 
> Jeans and a T-shirt? Yeah, I can be sharp in that. Black tie? Think I've got one of those around here. Nice thing about the tie though, is it's dual use. It doesn't just have to go around the neck. Silk ties are wonderful around wrists.


I agree but now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head. Thanks!!

I was going to just hit like, but didn't want to give the wrong impression, lol!


----------



## Lone Shadow

It's a song worthy of being stuck, you're welcome.

You don't have to worry about giving the wrong impression. There has been some very blatant flirting in this thread. It sort of evolved from an academic question about what women want into a practical exercise on the discovery of what women want.


----------



## MountainRunner

Lone Shadow said:


> I love my aftershave.


I'm an "Obsession For Men" kinda guy myself. I get more compliments on that than any other cologne I've ever worn. I actually wear it for me 'cuz I really love the scent.


----------



## Lone Shadow

I still have half a bottle of the original Old Spice. They changed the formula a few years ago though.


----------



## lucy999

MR and LS you guys get an A+ for actually wanting to smell good.:smthumbup:

Nothing like a man who smells good. Nummy.


----------



## homerjay

I guess it depends....i don't think there is a single thing out there that can turn every woman on....


----------



## Lone Shadow

lucy999 said:


> MR and LS you guys get an A+ for actually wanting to smell good.:smthumbup:
> 
> Nothing like a man who smells good. Nummy.


Lucy! You got some 'splainin to do!

I have 4 different aftershaves that I cycle through at the moment. My current favorite is the bay rum. I like the old school barbershop scents. I'm a wet shaver. None of that cartridge razor crap, give me a double edge safety razor, a soap puck, and a badger brush. Shaving should be an experience that you enjoy. I don't shave every day, but I always feel that much more confident in the days that I do shave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Forest

This whole thread could have been avoided by one glance at the Infidelity forum. The answer is:

1.Attention
2.Compliments

(optional, but beneficial)
3.Lies


----------



## FeministInPink

lucy999 said:


> MR and LS you guys get an A+ for actually wanting to smell good.:smthumbup:
> 
> Nothing like a man who smells good. Nummy.


:iagree: Wholeheartedly.


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## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> :iagree: Wholeheartedly.


Smelling good is just the finishing touch. No point in looking good if you aren't going to smell good. Besides, I like being considered "nummy." 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Smelling good is just the finishing touch. No point in looking good if you aren't going to smell good. Besides, I like being considered "nummy."
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Nom nom nom...


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## Lone Shadow

FeministInPink said:


> Nom nom nom...


I'll bring the peanut butter.


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## Holland

Forest said:


> This whole thread could have been avoided by one glance at the Infidelity forum. The answer is:
> 
> 1.Attention
> 2.Compliments
> 
> (optional, but beneficial)
> 3.Lies


Yep because all women cheat, apparently it is our DNA.


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## Forest

Holland said:


> Yep because all women cheat, apparently it is our DNA.




No one ever said, or inferred that. (about all women being cheaters. Other than you, that is.)

Oh wait, all men think this or that about women...DNA....generalizations.

Ah...No humor shall be injected at The Men's Clubhouse. Keep those PC straightjackets on at all times. There are thin-skinned ladies present.


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## Lone Shadow

And now back to our regularly scheduled, light hearted banter. I much prefer the practical exercise on the discovery of what arouses a woman that we had been enjoying. 

Peanut butter. Crunchy or smooth? 

I'm also wondering if I can find Sandalwood essential oil at the store I shop at. I'm not going to waste brain cells trying to google it though. I'll check the next time I go in.


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## ocotillo

The Good & Plenty thing struck me as funny. My wife and I have had a friendly "Feud" going on about licorice/anise for decades. (She hates it in any form whatsoever.)


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## Anon Pink

Hopeful Cynic said:


> I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Chivers a few years ago and discussing her research with her. One theme was that men are turned on visually by sexual characteristics that match their preferences, while women are turned on by the ‘idea’ of sex, even if it’s triggered by something they don’t personally find stimulating, such as the wrong gender preference or bonobos. (This accounts neatly for the popularity of pornography for men vs erotic literature for women, by the way.) So the women turned on by apes mating is not because they find the apes desirable, but because it reminds them of the ‘idea’ of sex that they might like to have in the proper context. One of her theories about why this may be was that it developed to protect women’s bodies during rape. Even if they mentally did not want sex, if it happened anyways, their bodies would lubricate to prevent injury.
> 
> Her research also contrasted anatomical differences - that men are always very aware of their arousal level because it’s external, but women are not because it’s internal. With her gizmo that measured female arousal, she found that women’s verbal reports sometimes disagreed with their actual physical arousal. So women can look at the bonobos mating and mentally know it’s not sexy to them, but their bodies are going “uhoh, sex is in the vicinity, and might happen to YOU so get ready.”
> 
> So the lesson I took from this is that for a woman to turn on a man, all she has to do is parade around provocatively, preferably nude or nearly so. For a man to turn on a woman, *he has to make her think of sex. *Put on a romantic movie in which other people have sex (doesn’t have to be actual pornography), chat her up about the great sex they had that other time, start with lots of foreplay, catch her after she’s just read the sex scene in her novel, etc. Problems develop when each gender expects the other to behave and respond the same as them.
> 
> Or put it completely another way – a man sees his wife coming out of the shower in the morning, presto, he wants to drop everything and take her. A woman sees her husband coming out of the shower in the morning, she’s thinking “okay, have to remember to bring my food bank donation to work today, do we have enough bread to make all the lunches, better have cereal this morning instead of toast, hope the kids aren’t lollygagging or we’re going to be late, what earrings will go with this outfit, why is he taking so long to dry off I’m just going to have to do all the work, etc.”


Just wanted this to be quoted again because it is smack on the money.


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## Lone Shadow

Anon, I'm sorry. I've seen some of your posts in other threads and I have to say, your sig catches my eye every time. 

I would just like it to be known that I love multi-orgasmic women.

Having said that....

Your signature makes me think about sex, and if I'm thinking about sex, it's not difficult to get _her_ thinking about sex.


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## Anon Pink

Lone Shadow said:


> Anon, I'm sorry. I've seen some of your posts in other threads and I have to say, your sig catches my eye every time.
> 
> I would just like it to be known that I love multi-orgasmic women.
> 
> Having said that....
> 
> Your signature makes me think about sex, and if I'm thinking about sex, it's not difficult to get _her_ thinking about sex.




Of course you do darling, everyone loves talent and dedication to ones calling.


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## Lone Shadow

Careful with who you call darling. It might just make me hot, then I'll have to run around looking for someone to bother.


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## Lionelhutz

I always get a kick thinking about the writing process and research behind so many of these articles. So much of it seems like just expanded on a conversation she had with her friends on the weekend. During the week she picked out of a portion of some "study" and then maybe grabbed a comment from some "authority" but just as often quotes a friend or co-worker described as something like "Jill, a 28 year old graphic designer....etc"

From my observation, in this area women seem more diverse than men so I really don't see any meaningful way to end the sentence "What turns a woman on is......." 

There just seems to be so much variation between women and even for an individual woman it is often a moving target. One of my wife's friends spent most of her 20s being fairly non-sexual and even finding male genitalia repulsive. In her 40s her repulsion seems to be turned into obsession and no matter the topic of conversation she somehow manages to fit in a joke or reference to sex.


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## lucy999

Lone Shadow said:


> I'm also wondering if I can find Sandalwood essential oil at the store I shop at.


YES! I'll repeat: NUMMY. You have great taste.


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## Lone Shadow

lucy999 said:


> YES! I'll repeat: NUMMY. You have great taste.


I've been told that I have a great taste before. Thank you. :FIREdevil:


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## Cletus

Lone Shadow said:


> I've been told that I have a great taste before. Thank you. :FIREdevil:


Put it away, son. You run around the place showing it to everyone and one of these ladies is going to give it a good hard smack.


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## Married but Happy

As for smelling good, my wife picks colognes she likes on me that turn her on. I'm smart enough to use them most days, whenever I'm home. But that's just an enhancer, not a necessity.

Two things arouse my wife. Tickling the back of her neck with end of day stubble always gets a great response, as does just dropping my pants - that always leads to good things! So I would say specific tactile and visual stimuli work for her arousal.


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## Lone Shadow

Cletus said:


> Put it away, son. You run around the place showing it to everyone and one of these ladies is going to give it a good hard smack.


You're right, that one was over the line.:iagree:


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## Holland

Forest said:


> *No one ever said, or inferred that. (about all women being cheaters*. Other than you, that is.)
> 
> Oh wait, all men think this or that about women...DNA....generalizations.
> 
> Ah...No humor shall be injected at The Men's Clubhouse. Keep those PC straightjackets on at all times. There are thin-skinned ladies present.


TFF

you said 



> This whole thread could have been avoided by one glance at the Infidelity forum. The answer is:
> 
> 1.Attention
> 2.Compliments
> 
> (optional, but beneficial)
> 3.Lies


So the answer to what arouses the ladies is in the infidelity forum, please explain.


----------



## Middle of Everything

To quote Lord Helmet.

Druish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have both

And Tony Montana

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the woman.

And a sense of humor too. They love that too.


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## john117

Six out of seven (ink printer he said? I have a freaking PLOTTER in the lab)... No cologne (how un European of me), stubble, etc. All except the name... 

Maybe scented 3d printer resin....


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## ocotillo

Forest said:


> This whole thread could have been avoided by one glance at the Infidelity forum. The answer is:
> 
> 1.Attention
> 2.Compliments
> 
> (optional, but beneficial)
> 3.Lies


LOL - From _Blast From The Past_

*EVE:* Go say hello, Romeo. Looks like a healthy non-mutant to me.

*ADAM:* Okay. All right. And what do I say?

*EVE:* Say something surprising. And funny. Lie, if need be.

*TROY:* Yes! Lying is always a very effective dating tool.​


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## Forest

Holland said:


> TFF
> 
> you said
> 
> 
> 
> So the answer to what arouses the ladies is in the infidelity forum, please explain.


If you can't understand the joke, more than your PC straightjacket is too tight.

It was said as a joke, in a Men's forum. Everyone understands that, but for some reason you feel the need to wear your indignation on your sleeve. 

Make a joke about men sometime if you like. The world will not end, and we will not give a shlt, or ride you arse about it.


----------



## convert

Jellybeans said:


> _2. Ten-day-old beards. A study published in Evolution and Human Behavior in April of this year found that straight women are more attracted to men with beards, specifically 10-day stubble and full beards. _
> 
> For me, a stubble is sexy as hell. Not so much the beard, but the stubble that's been there a few days. Scruffy is so sexy.
> 
> The toothbrush thing on that article is stupid. *I have never had an O from toothbrushing*.


hmmmm, are using the toothbrush right?




I agree the toothbrush thing was stupid, probably should not have been in the article


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## Marduk

Since buying Aqua Di Gio I've had my wife nuzzle into my neck just to smell it, wear my shirts around the house, and comment on it to her friends.

I've had more than a few women comment on it favorabably.

I've tried other colognes, but never had that reaction. Now I wear it often.

I'm not sure every woman like it, and you have to be careful not to overdo it... but damn. Smell is important.


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## Lone Shadow

Apparently being halfway decent looking, and riding a Harley, requires beating women back with a stick.


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## GusPolinski

Lone Shadow said:


> Apparently being halfway decent looking, and riding a Harley, requires beating women back with a stick.


It would seem that you're ready for the final step in your journey...

Grow a beard.

:smthumbup:


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## FeministInPink

Lone Shadow said:


> Apparently being halfway decent looking, and riding a Harley, requires beating women back with a stick.


Don't forget smelling good


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## John Lee

Over the years I've noticed that she is more sexually interested in me when (1) I'm working out more (2) I'm showing ambition at work (3) I'm getting a lot done around the house and showing a lot of competency. Not really surprising.


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## Lone Shadow

GusPolinski said:


> It would seem that you're ready for the final step in your journey...
> 
> Grow a beard.
> 
> :smthumbup:


My beard has too much grey in it. I'll stay with the van ****. If I let my mustache grow out though, it will handlebar all by itself.











FeministInPink said:


> Don't forget smelling good


 Never forget that. I don't look good enough to get away with not smelling good. Maybe if I was pretty, like Blue Eyes a few pages back...


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## Cletus

GusPolinski said:


> It would seem that you're ready for the final step in your journey...
> 
> Grow a beard.
> 
> :smthumbup:


Having mastered the Art of Harley Maintenance and grown the beard to boot 30 years ago, I'm here to tell you it's not a sure bet.


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## Cletus

Lone Shadow said:


> Apparently being halfway decent looking, and riding a Harley, requires beating women back with a stick.


That is the correct approach to many of the women I've seen on the back of a Harley.


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## Lone Shadow

I know exactly what you're referring to Cletus.


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## jaquen

Holland said:


> Apart from that pretty much everything does it for me, I am a very visual person and can be thinking about sex while doing 5 other things.
> I can almost O from giving a BJ and nipple stimulation.
> 
> As for my immediate life, there is so much that he does that arouses me, those shoulders and long legs.


Once again I wonder, are you sure you're not my wife? It's eerie how similar you guys are when it comes to some things.


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## lucy999

Lone Shadow said:


> I'll stay with the van ****.


Had to google that one; never heard of that term before. 

Nice job on the facial hair!:smthumbup:


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## Middle of Everything

Screw the Harley.

My Vespa pulls the ladies in like a magnet.:smthumbup:

But seriously give me a Triumph Bonnie or an old Honda cafe bike.


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## Cletus

Middle of Everything said:


> Screw the Harley.
> 
> My Vespa pulls the ladies in like a magnet.:smthumbup:
> 
> But seriously give me a Triumph Bonnie or an old Honda cafe bike.


Fine for you, but if you REALLY want to impress your lady and she's game to ride with you instead of simply swooning when you climb off, get a full dresser. A Goldwing or an Ultra Glide or equivalent.

My wife rides in the luxury of a two wheeled barcalounger while my neighbor's girlfriend is always complaining about a sore butt. I have it on good authority that the harmonics of a large bore two cylinder four stroke engine at highway speed have a certain appeal.


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## john117

Middle of Everything said:


> Screw the Harley.
> 
> 
> 
> My Vespa pulls the ladies in like a magnet.:smthumbup:



If it's a real Vespa by Piaggio especially!


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## Lone Shadow

If any are still confused on the subject, I present to you... _Lessons in Unmanliness from Victor Frankenstein_. Courtesy of The Art of Manliness


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## WandaJ

A day without angry comments, pouting and sh...t testing. Then I am all ready!


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## MountainRunner

Cletus said:


> Fine for you, but if you REALLY want to impress your lady and she's game to ride with you instead of simply swooning when you climb off, get a full dresser. A Goldwing or an Ultra Glide or equivalent.
> 
> My wife rides in the luxury of a two wheeled barcalounger while my neighbor's girlfriend is always complaining about a sore butt. I have it on good authority that the harmonics of a large bore two cylinder four stroke engine at highway speed have a certain appeal.


True dat. I have two "scoots"..A Goldwing and a Honda VTX1800R. My wife enjoys the ride of the Goldwing much more than the VTX. The VTX may scream "badass", but my vintage mint condition Goldwing Aspencade is my daily "go to" ride...


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## heartsbeating

Middle of Everything said:


> Screw the Harley.
> 
> My Vespa pulls the ladies in like a magnet.:smthumbup:
> 
> But seriously give me a Triumph Bonnie or an old Honda cafe bike.


Do you have an Italian accent and are you carrying fresh bread and olives on said Vespa?


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## heartsbeating

I'm getting attracted to motorbikes... have discussed getting one the year I turn 40. 

If there's to be a bike in the picture, then I'm riding my own. 

Hello potential mid-life crisis!


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## Thundarr

heartsbeating said:


> I'm getting attracted to motorbikes... have discussed getting one the year I turn 40.
> 
> If there's to be a bike in the picture, then I'm riding my own.
> 
> Hello potential mid-life crisis!


I think it's cool for a couple to have two bikes but I've noticed after the new wears off they usually ride two up on one bike while the other collects dust in the garage. Maybe it's more about having the choice than anything else?


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## john117

heartsbeating said:


> Do you have an Italian accent and are you carrying fresh bread and olives on said Vespa?



A Vespa is a cerebral experience that tells people you understand design and taste... If it's the real Piaggio not a clone of course.

Italians have big bikes too, Moto Guzzi and Dukati and a bunch of smaller and motocross type stuff...


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## Forest

I saw a good cartoon the other day:

A man and woman are standing in front of a shoe store, with Cupid hovering above. Cupid has fired his arrow, but it struck one of the pairs of shoes, rather than the man. The woman has a giddy look on her face, with "hearts" rising around here. 

The caption read "Missed Again".


----------



## Middle of Everything

heartsbeating said:


> Do you have an Italian accent and are you carrying fresh bread and olives on said Vespa?


Was joking about the Vespa. Cant stand scooters. If you want the open air feel two wheel experience with good fuel economy, at least get a 250cc bike.

I can understand their usefullness in Europe and in east coast cities that might have similar streets. But where I live right now a pot hole would swallow a scooter. Plus highway or interstate? Hell no.

My heart will always pull towards Hondas (dad had a Goldwing almost exactly like MountainRunner's) and to a degree Triumphs as again my dad had a 69 Bonneville that he talked of frequently.

Makes you wonder if Italian women would swoon the same for an American accent and a guy on a big V-twin bike?


----------



## Lone Shadow

Middle of Everything said:


> Makes you wonder if Italian women would swoon the same for an American accent and a guy on a big V-twin bike?


Italian women, Spanish women, you name it. It's got something to do with the rumble, and harmonic resonance.


----------



## john117

The Piaggio / Vespa are available with a 250cc motor and have been since I was a teenager. My uncle had one, awesome.... There are some models with 40 hp and 500cc engines. Here's a recent incarnation.

http://modernvespa.com/forum/wiki-gts-250

Not sure about Italian women and big bikes but it's a good suggestion.


----------



## Zouz

I have a yamaha 1985 ,jog 50cc ,great for traffic in city ; no female collegue up to date have resisted to leave her car at work and reach home in 7mn instead of 1.5 hrs .

Whn I am driving it and cross by the cars in traffic ; I make sure to raise my head especially when a porshe or lambergini is near by


----------



## heartsbeating

Middle of Everything said:


> Was joking about the Vespa. Cant stand scooters. If you want the open air feel two wheel experience with good fuel economy, at least get a 250cc bike.
> 
> I can understand their usefullness in Europe and in east coast cities that might have similar streets. But where I live right now a pot hole would swallow a scooter. Plus highway or interstate? Hell no.
> 
> My heart will always pull towards Hondas (dad had a Goldwing almost exactly like MountainRunner's) and to a degree Triumphs as again my dad had a 69 Bonneville that he talked of frequently.
> 
> Makes you wonder if Italian women would swoon the same for an American accent and a guy on a big V-twin bike?


I think it's more about the fresh bread and olives, personally.


----------

