# Is it really possible?



## binary (May 16, 2012)

My wife and I are on the outs and she says she doesn't want any child/spousal support after 13 years of marriage. Ironically, she doesn't make enough money to support herself, let alone our 4 kids. She also said that she'd be fine with 50/50 custody of the kids.

I've always been the breadwinner to the tune of about 85% of our household income, plus the part of CA we live in has a pretty high cost of living, so I'm in disbelief that she's willing to walk away so easily. The only conclusion I can draw is that there's something she's not telling me about her financial situation, or she's setting me up for a 180 when it's time for her to actually commit to not receiving any support from me.

Of note is that things have been very hostile between us as of late: we've been arguing a lot over money since I've essentially demanded she contribute to at least one of the household expenses (groceries). This makes it even more unbelievable that she'd forgo support post-divorce now that she's learning what it's like to have to spend her own money.

Anyhow, has anyone else been able to get a divorce w/o a support agreement _with kids in the picture_, or am I just being naive?


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

You and your wife have no control on child support, it's what the state and court demands. So, she cant waive child support. What she can waive is spousal support and if she is going to do that, get it in writing and signed.

I don't know what she is up to maybe, she just wants things to be over with as quickly as possible. Maybe, the two of you can sit and draw up an agreement on what you both are agreeing to. Leaving the child support out and asking the court to rule on that Or agreeing on what amount you will give to her for child support. Check out your state website for the child support calculator.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Either she's hates you so much that she rather struggle than accept anything from you or she has a sugar daddy that's promising her the good life. The fact that she's talking about 50/50 custody leads me to believe the ladder. It allow her to spend more time with Mr Big Bucks.


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## EVG39 (Jun 4, 2015)

Probably not what you want to hear but I would take her at her word. The terms she is talking about seem very favorable to you. I would get myself to a lawyer ASAP and have him/her seal the deal now.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

brooklynAnn said:


> You and your wife have no control on child support, it's what the state and court demands. So, she cant waive child support. What she can waive is spousal support and if she is going to do that, get it in writing and signed.
> 
> I don't know what she is up to maybe, she just wants things to be over with as quickly as possible. Maybe, the two of you can sit and draw up an agreement on what you both are agreeing to. Leaving the child support out and asking the court to rule on that Or agreeing on what amount you will give to her for child support. Check out your state website for the child support calculator.


Actually, after the court/state has figured out child support, a claim can be filed by the person receiving the support, that they want it to be stopped. My sister did this, as she no longer wanted support from her daughters father, but at any time she could file a claim to have it reinstated.


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## binary (May 16, 2012)

Thanks for your input, everyone.

When my uncle divorced, he agreed to a certain amount with his ex in child support. When his finances got shaky, he went back to court to ask for a reduction and was denied due to the previous agreement. I don't see why the same rule wouldn't apply to a spouse who declined child support at the outset.

Either way, I think I'll just have to believe it when I see it and plan for the worst.


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