# My faith isn't as strong as it should be for my marriage. Please help!!!



## FaithMatters

My wife has a strong faith in Christianity than I do. Because I haven't asked God for answers I feel that my marriage is going to end. Recently I have been asking God to show me how to be a better man for my wife and son. I feel this time it might be to late. And thinking like that destroys any attempt most times with asking God for help. I really wish I could be more positive. Can anyone relate.


----------



## Pooh Bear

FaithMatters said:


> My wife has a strong faith in Christianity than I do. Because I haven't asked God for answers I feel that my marriage is going to end. Recently I have been asking God to show me how to be a better man for my wife and son. I feel this time it might be to late. And thinking like that destroys any attempt most times with asking God for help. I really wish I could be more positive. Can anyone relate.


Are you saying there have been problems in in the marriage that you haven't addressed? I need more information. Is your wife talking about leaving? Are there things you haven't addressed and because of that you think she will leave? It sounds like you are trying to do things yourself rather than giving them to God. Faith in God doesn't necessarily guarantee the outcome that you want. If your wife is willing to work through things then the marriage could continue.


----------



## 2ntnuf

As a believer, I have to say that in all my life, I can't remember when I asked for something like that and a voice told me how to be a better man. If I wanted to be better, I had to find a counselor, whether religious or secular to teach me, and do the work necessary to change. Praying will take some of the weight off your shoulders. It will help you to be more grateful and less self-centered. It will help you by giving you an outlet for emotions, but miracles are few and far between. That's not to say I don't believe they don't ever happen. 

Find a spiritual counselor and/or a secular one to help. Do the work and offer your pain and frustration as a sacrifice in prayer. Good luck. 

Don't know if Pooh is religious or not, but she gave good advice.


----------



## Pooh Bear

2ntnuf said:


> As a believer, I have to say that in all my life, I can't remember when I asked for something like that and a voice told me how to be a better man. If I wanted to be better, I had to find a counselor, whether religious or secular to teach me, and do the work necessary to change. Praying will take some of the weight off your shoulders. It will help you to be more grateful and less self-centered. It will help you by giving you an outlet for emotions, but miracles are few and far between. That's not to say I don't believe they don't ever happen.
> 
> Find a spiritual counselor and/or a secular one to help. Do the work and offer your pain and frustration as a sacrifice in prayer. Good luck.
> 
> Don't know if Pooh is religious or not, but she gave good advice.


This is good advice also. And yes, I am a Christian who attends church regularly.


----------



## 2ntnuf

intheory said:


> By all means, pray as much as you like, and "ask God" to show you the answers.
> 
> But, you know, the answer has already been provided.
> 
> Answer part one: You have a brain.
> 
> Answer part two: You can ask questions of your wife.
> 
> Answer part three: Your wife can tell you what she needs; and you can tell her what you need.
> 
> Answer part four: You have willpower. Use it to make changes, based on what you and your wife have talked about.
> 
> Sorry, if that came across as too blunt. But, I do not believe God will just make all the bad stuff go away for you.
> 
> Marriage _is_ difficult sometimes. You'll both have to work at it and compromise.
> 
> As to having faith? I think you are supposed to read the Bible more, go to church more: then put what you learn into practice. If you are a Christian, that should strengthen your faith.
> 
> *Do you think you are a Christian, deep in your heart?*
> 
> Good luck to you.


WTF? What kind of question is that? :scratchhead:


----------



## Pooh Bear

Well he did say that his wife is a stronger Christian than he is. It's a valid observation. I think the guy is gone though.


----------



## 2ntnuf

Pooh Bear said:


> Well he did say that his wife is a stronger Christian than he is. It's a valid observation. I think the guy is gone though.


What does valid mean when you write it? Is a question an observation or a query leading to a discussion?


----------



## Pooh Bear

2ntnuf said:


> What does valid mean when you write it? Is a question an observation or a query leading to a discussion?


I don't understand your question 2ntnuf.


----------



## pana1089

Pray and read the bible as you seek God's guidance. As Christians we walk by faith. Our faith tells us that God will guide us through hi word by his Spirit. I believe this, and I have seen it in my life. God most often will not get rid of the problem, he usually gets us through it. Be open with your wife. Share your thoughts with her. Let her know what you are doing to draw closer to God and that you are open to compromise with her to work things out. Then do what you said.


----------



## Yeswecan

FaithMatters said:


> My wife has a strong faith in Christianity than I do. Because I haven't asked God for answers I feel that my marriage is going to end. Recently I have been asking God to show me how to be a better man for my wife and son. I feel this time it might be to late. And thinking like that destroys any attempt most times with asking God for help. I really wish I could be more positive. Can anyone relate.


My W faith is much stronger than mine. I do not ask God for answers, by and large. I never felt my marriage would end as a result. Does God really want to see your marriage end? Of course not. That perception is yours. Why is that? 

Yes, ask God to show you. Guess what? God will answer when He is ready. He will answer...do not doubt that. My W asked God to make be a better H to her for close to 20 years. One day over a year ago God provided. My marriage took a complete 180. Within a day my life completely went upside down and for the good! My W's prayers answered. God answered in His own good time. 

Until that answer comes....make your W your #1 priority. Meet her emotional needs. Be there for you child. Provide for all.

You are not the first to question their faith and marriage. Many have before you and these folks lived on to have wonderful marriages.


----------



## arbitrator

* Always keep in mind that while God loves each and every one of us beyond measure, knowing that each of us are one His unique creations, He primarily uses us for His purposes in furthering His kingdom. 

That being said, pray not so much for what we need to persevere on this earth as his creations, but how that we might be able to help Him in His work and goals. Read and study passages from your Bible. Pray from your heart, alone, and in solitude. Take a walk out in the woods or off in a park and just listen intently to the wind gently blowing, the birds happily singing, or the water softly babbling in a brook. Or in even listening intently to what it is that other people might be saying! That's how God talks to us!

And pray for nothing of a concrete or personal nature, because one of God's truest gifts are those of unanswered prayers! He knows all too well what it is that we need, and do not need in order to persevere!*


----------

