# Need advice on bedroom issues



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Hello all,

I'm new here and wanted to say hi, plus jump into my problem. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, lately our sex life has become very routine, so I suggested we add a few new positions in the bed room. My wife is fine with it but we've always had challenges making things work and that's frustrating.

We're larger people, I'm 275 and she's 190, so my question is. for the larger folks here, what positions work best for you?

Thank you,
Tony


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

sex swing, or one of those wedge shaped sex pillows


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> sex swing, or one of those wedge shaped sex pillows


I like the idea of the wedge shaped pillow, the swing, not so much. We have young children, don't need them playing on it


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

NJHubby47 said:


> I like the idea of the wedge shaped pillow, the swing, not so much. We have young children, don't need them playing on it


My wife and I aren't overweight, but I will second he wedge. Lots of fun and easy to stash away. The Liberator is the go to, but is expensive. Cheap but very good one from amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Drive-Medical-Folding-Bed-Wedge/dp/B00NGKWKRC

I'm not sure what positions you have tried, but all are variation of just 3, missionary, doggy style and woman on top. One I can se as good for someone overweight is butterfly. It is missionary but you wife has her butt at the edge of the bed with you standing. Spoon is good too, doggy style on your sides. You don't have to hold up any weight, so you can stay more relaxed. If "alignment" is off a little you may need to use a pillow. 

Here is a great site for advice and they have a few very inexpensive product to help spice up your sex life. Worth a look...






Products Archive - Uncovering Intimacy







www.uncoveringintimacy.com


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> My wife and I aren't overweight, but I will second he wedge. Lots of fun and easy to stash away. The Liberator is the go to, but is expensive. Cheap but very good one from amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Drive-Medical-Folding-Bed-Wedge/dp/B00NGKWKRC
> 
> I'm not sure what positions you have tried, but all are variation of just 3, missionary, doggy style and woman on top. One I can se as good for someone overweight is butterfly. It is missionary but you wife has her butt at the edge of the bed with you standing. Spoon is good too, doggy style on your sides. You don't have to hold up any weight, so you can stay more relaxed. If "alignment" is off a little you may need to use a pillow.
> 
> ...



Thanks for the advice, I like the idea of the pillow and might just order one today.

Positions, well these days she's on top. Nothing wrong with it and she's great on top but I need a change. Missionary is one we used all the time in the past. It works fine but every time we are in that position, she gushes a huge amount, like someone poured a glass of water into the bed. We've tried doggy and I enjoy it but my wife and I can't get the right angle unless she puts her head in the pillow. We've tried butterfly but our bed is too high, or i'm too short . She doesn't like spoon, but she doesn't know why.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

NJHubby47 said:


> Thanks for the advice, I like the idea of the pillow and might just order one today.
> 
> Positions, well these days she's on top. Nothing wrong with it and she's great on top but I need a change. Missionary is one we used all the time in the past. It works fine but every time we are in that position, she gushes a huge amount, like someone poured a glass of water into the bed. We've tried doggy and I enjoy it but my wife and I can't get the right angle unless she puts her head in the pillow. We've tried butterfly but our bed is too high, or i'm too short . She doesn't like spoon, but she doesn't know why.


The wedge may help with the doggy style. 

What is the problem with gushing, lol? My wife does that on a rare occasion, I think it is amazing. Put a towel or something down. 

For butterfly, get a step, like one of those for doing step-ups during a workout. 

Maybe try variations of the spoon. Instead of both of you being on your side have her on her back. A bit more like a T than a spoon.

You may also want to consider losing some weight. I lost about 40lbs years ago and it made everything easier, including sex.


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> The wedge may help with the doggy style.
> 
> What is the problem with gushing, lol? My wife does that on a rare occasion, I think it is amazing. Put a towel or something down.
> 
> ...


LOL, I love when she gushes, she on the other hand hates a wet bed lol. Even with a towel down under her she makes a mess.

And we are working on loosing weight, but until we shed the pounds, we still plan on having fun


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

We're not overweight, but another vote for the wedge pillow. Also good to sleep on.

Aside from that, roll play, fantasies, etc are good for any size and age.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

NJHubby47 said:


> Hello all,
> 
> I'm new here and wanted to say hi, plus jump into my problem. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, lately our sex life has become very routine, so I suggested we add a few new positions in the bed room. My wife is fine with it but we've always had challenges making things work and that's frustrating.
> 
> ...


Your heights?


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Divinely Favored said:


> Your heights?


She's 5'6" with ample breasts, (36D I think) and I'm 5'10"


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

SCDad01 said:


> We're not overweight, but another vote for the wedge pillow. Also good to sleep on.
> 
> Aside from that, roll play, fantasies, etc are good for any size and age.


I just ordered one, let's see how it goes


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

NJHubby47 said:


> She's 5'6" with ample breasts, (36D I think) and I'm 5'10"


At that weight i would bet DD. My wife is 5'04" 170. Im 6'05 280. 

Several come to mind. Both standing with her bent over bed. 

Her on back at edge of bed in laid back sitting position with you standing between her legs. 

If she needs alot of direct stimulation, her lying on back with legs closed and you straddling her on all 4s so you can move back and forth and not put all your weight on her. Give your shoulders a good workout.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

NJHubby47 said:


> ........ I suggested we add a few new positions in the bed room. My wife is fine with it but *we've always had challenges making things work and that's frustrating.*


I was told by a sex therapist that really good sex should be playful, fun and exploratory. You should view it like looking forward to grade school recess where you get to play with your best friend. Far to often there is performance anxiety where you spend too much effort on trying to make things go exactly as you want them to. Sex should not be "frustrating." Don't count orgasms or see a lack of orgasm as a huge failure. However, make sure you please each other.

Relax and play with her. Let her play with you. Don't over-script things, improvise and if something doesn't work, laugh about it and next time try something different.

Good luck. 

P.S. a human's biggest sex organ is not between their legs, it is between their ears. Instead of figuring out positions to place your and her genitals, figure out how to stimulate and pleasure all her senses and her mind. You might find that is mixing things up enough.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Young at Heart said:


> I was told by a sex therapist that really good sex should be playful, fun and exploratory. You should view it like looking forward to grade school recess where you get to play with your best friend. Far to often there is performance anxiety where you spend too much effort on trying to make things go exactly as you want them to. Sex should not be "frustrating." Don't count orgasms or see a lack of orgasm as a huge failure. However, make sure you please each other.
> 
> Relax and play with her. Let her play with you. Don't over-script things, improvise and if something doesn't work, laugh about it and next time try something different.
> 
> ...


I couldn't agree more. I used to be worried about everything being just right and all it did result in frustration. Having a relaxed and fun attitude that it is all good has had much better results. When trying something new, or even an old standby, and it doesn't happen as expected we just smile, laugh it off and roll with it. Over thinking it is counterproductive.


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Thanks all, great advice!


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

So the pillow arrived last night. We haven't had any time to try it out ( and we won't for a couple of days between work and kids)

However she did play around with it, just hoping on, getting some ideas for positions that might work. Which is a great sign!


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

this (wedge pillow) can be the start of something special!


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I like my wedge and I have a platform and esse too. The platform is nice for me when I’m on top as it helps me. I can get my feet under me and get more leverage. 

I never found a swing we like.

never found missionary that great but the wedge helps. Now facedown missionary with my vibe that I like.

feet on shoulders good.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I like the wedge for missionary as I can get an angle I like better because I am a foot taller than my wife. We rarely use it, she doesn’t get anything out of it and I can get the same thing by having her at the edge of the bed.


----------



## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

I think we'll have some fun with it but I might need to order a shorter one. I got a 10" tall one which looked good on paper but might limit us. I may buy a 6" one as well.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

NJHubby47 said:


> I think we'll have some fun with it but I might need to order a shorter one. I got a 10" tall one which looked good on paper but might limit us. I may buy a 6" one as well.


yes I have them both.  Liberator has made a fortune from us LOL


----------

