# Does anyone ever feel they married the wrong person?



## LADoll (Aug 28, 2017)

Just wondering if any of the married people here ever feel as if they got married to the wrong person, that they made a mistake or that they settled with their choice of a spouse.

Is it a common feeling? Does it pass? Do people stay married even if they know that they married the wrong person?


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Good question that got me thinking about our 45 year marraige. 

PROS:
- wife was raised to cater to her husband's needs. Old fashioned type wife.
- held down the homestead so I could travel 3 months of the year to build my career.
- was OK with relocating 13 times so I could advance my career and make us a lot of money.
- has decorated 9 houses we lived in and never complained every when we moved within a month of moving into a new home. 
- is 4' 11" and 90 lbs with 36C breasts. She is like a hot little doll. 
- tried every sexual fetish we could find.
- is bisexual and shared everyone of her girlfriends with me, even her living in one.
- been in over a thousand threesomes.
- wife shows her love to me by word and deed every day of our lives. 
- turned out that we are both sterile so no one to point a finger at. 
- supported me the first year of college.
- is OK with me buying any toys that I want. 
- together our income was in the top 5% of the nation until we did not need her income anymore to maintain our lifestyle. 
- asked everyone of her girlfriends to have sex with me. She liked showing me off. All three accepted her offer. 
- has cared for me during illnesses and disability. 
- puts up with me as I have a very high IQ and tend to not see things like others do.
- was up for fun and willing to jet away to a tropical island in the middle of a NYC snowy winter with a day's notice. 
- thought that she married above her league and saw me as a hottie. She still cannot understand why I even asked her out on a date.
- Fell in love with me at first sight, gave me her virginity at 20 and accepted my proposal of marriage 3 weeks after we first met. 
- has made my life wonderful and I cry when I think of her dying before me.

CONS:
- I will get back to you on this.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Would be good if others read your other thread so they know what you are actually asking. I.e.: I have a crush on a married man and I'm hoping he will decide he married the wrong woman and pursue me for an affair.


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## LADoll (Aug 28, 2017)

Yes, I am experiencing a mutual connection/attraction for over a year with a man who happens to be married. 

And yes, I would like to know if some married people have ever felt as if they married the wrong person. Or discovered that they had a stronger/deeper connection with someone other than the one they married. 

I am not trying to be disrespectful of other people's marriages but I just wanted to hear from people who have felt that they say "I do" to someone who wasn't "the one" and found their "one" after marriage to someone else.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

LADoll said:


> I am not trying to be disrespectful of other people's marriages but I just wanted to hear from people who have felt that they say "I do" to someone who wasn't "the one" and found their "one" after marriage to someone else.


It's called an affair.


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## Works (Apr 3, 2016)

I have read your other thread. Stay away from him! I do not care if he says he is unhappy in his marriage, so many do these days, and most of the time it is all talk. That is NONE of your business. How would you feel if you were married and this was done to you?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Ask your supervisor if you can transfer to a different department. Today. 

Better yet, quit.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Would be good if others read your other thread so they know what you are actually asking. I.e.: I have a crush on a married man and I'm hoping he will decide he married the wrong woman and pursue me for an affair.


You got to be kidding me?

If this is the case: Message to the OP


Can't get your own man is it? Need to steal someone else's and destroy a marriage and family, how bloody sickening! :banhim::banhim:


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You're really asking the wrong board such a question.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I think YOU are attracted to the wrong person.... someone else's husband!!!


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## Jamie296 (Apr 15, 2017)

I married the wrong person and stayed with her for 12 years. I finally called it off and ask for a divorce. I met back up with my first and only love and we got married. I love her to death. She is my world. 
You ma'am, have some issues. You can't just take someone else's man. That's not right, its not that he's not happy, hes in a rut in his marriage and you come along and you're new so he's having fun. He will twll you whatever you want to hear. I work with a guy now that left his wife because he wasn't "happy" I'm not so sure he feels like he made the right decision anymore. 
I think you need to sit down and talk to your husband and worl out your problems. If talking doesn't solve then separate until you see what you need but don't strong him along. No one deserves that. 

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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

LADoll said:


> Just wondering if any of the married people here ever feel as if they got married to the wrong person, that they made a mistake or that they settled with their choice of a spouse.
> 
> Is it a common feeling? Does it pass? Do people stay married even if they know that they married the wrong person?










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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, as a matter of fact, but the real question is whether your potential AP feels he married the wrong person and what -- if anything -- he plans to do about it. 

You would be well advised to stay far away from him under the present circumstances.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

He doesn't have a stronger, deeper connection with you. It's in your head. You interpret his actions to make yourself think he's in love with you. 
Has he ever told you he wants to be with you? Or has a connection with you? 
You have made up an entire relationship with this man you know nothing about and barely speak to. 

Because he looks at you, brushes up against you and sometimes looks angry when other men talk to you? 

And he isn't a saint, clearly he has poor boundaries here and would likely cheat on his poor wife whenever given the chance. For sex, not love btw, but this is not a relationship, it's not a connection. He did not feel love at first sight with you like you think you did him. 

What do you even know about him? His family? His hobbies? Life goals? 

Fantasy relationships are perfect because you're so compatible and in love and everything is meant to be. 
But he is a real person that you know nothing about.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LADoll said:


> And yes, I would like to know if some married people have ever felt as if they married the wrong person. Or discovered that they had a stronger/deeper connection with someone other than the one they married.


Let me guess.

Mr. Wonderful has exchanged 'meaningful' glances with you and has sent out vibes that he's interested.

Golly, it MUST be _true love_ because married men *never* act like horse's asses when they're not around their wives. _*Never*_. Why, this is the first time I've ever heard of a married man acting like this.

In the last 3 minutes.

The only 'connection' Romeo is looking for happens below the belt.

Jeez, what are you, 16? I feel like I'm reading some teenage kid's diary with this nonsense.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I soon realized that my first wife was the wrong person to marry - not that I knew anyone else that I should have married, but things rapidly deteriorated. Just the same, I tried to make it work for over 20 years, and then divorced her. I soon found someone who is clearly the right person - we're still very happy together after 17 years. It's best to finish one marriage (at least permanent separation), before seeking a new relationship.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

LADoll said:


> Yes, I am experiencing a mutual connection/attraction for over a year with a man who happens to be married.
> 
> And yes, I would like to know if some married people have ever felt as if they married the wrong person. Or discovered that they had a stronger/deeper connection with someone other than the one they married.
> 
> I am not trying to be disrespectful of other people's marriages but I just wanted to hear from people who have felt that they say "I do" to someone who wasn't "the one" and found their "one" after marriage to someone else.


Here is the thing you need to seriously ask yourself.....are you seeing this married man because you are emotionally finished with your marriage and want out? Are you hoping to latch onto another man to help you out of your marriage? Or is this hormones racing and you are lots in your own thoughts? When you have your thoughts on a person other than your spouse you do not do the marriage justice, you are not giving the marriage a chance.

My ex husband was always after some other woman and I was nothing but his housekeeper and cook. If he would have spent his time pursuing me and put his energy into our marriage we might have made it. I was pretty darn miserable in the marriage knowing what he was doing but I didn't want to tear up my family by leaving this man. For the last 5 years of our 24 year marriage I slept in the spare bedroom with all kinds of thoughts, dreams and fantasies running thru my head and I guarantee you they were not about my husband (now ex). He had not treated me well and I could not longer even think of him touching me. However, with all the thoughts and desires and all the years of being rejected by my husband I never looked around or cheated on my husband. I was faithful to the very end.

I know your thoughts may be confused but you have to get real with yourself and ask why you are staying in the marriage. If you are hanging on to another man in hopes he will throw you an anchor it is very likely you will wake up and realize you do not love this man either. If you are unhappy in your marriage to a point of wanting to be with another man, my suggestion is to get out. I know I made a wrong choice by marrying the man that I did. Perhaps you are not identifying what is going on in your marriage that has you so unhappy and maybe that is what you need to address with yourself or with a counselor that can help you thru.


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

I know I married the wrong person. We're totally different, she's an extrovert and loves a loud social life, I'm more introverted and a home body, I like sex daily, she likes it twice a week. I'm obsessed with talking through things, she closes down and won't discuss things due to her childhood. I have a ton of real hobbies, she has Facebook, I have 6 friends I've known for 20+ years, then a bunch of people I keep on the periphery (friendship and trust is earned), she has a bunch of users who come into her life, then leave it when she has nothing to offer them. But I would never cheat on her, it's not in my character (another way we're different). And you wouldn't want a guy who cheats on his wife, it's a character flaw, he's not a good man and not marriage or settling down material, he would just cheat on you down the line.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

No one is perfect. The question to ask yourself is whether overall you are happy. If not, then leaving is a good plan. 

I love my wife and most of our relationship is wonderful, but our sex life is really bad and there isn't any way to fix it. I often wonder what it would have been like if I'd married someone sexually compatible - but at the same time I'd miss everything else about her. 




LADoll said:


> Just wondering if any of the married people here ever feel as if they got married to the wrong person, that they made a mistake or that they settled with their choice of a spouse.
> 
> Is it a common feeling? Does it pass? Do people stay married even if they know that they married the wrong person?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

knobcreek said:


> I know I married the wrong person. We're totally different,


Those two are not mutually exclusive. My wife and I are completely different in most ways, including most of those you mentioned. We compliment each other perfectly, just like that little yin/yang drawing. I'm the social one and she's very reserved, but that makes for a good dynamic. I'm a risk taker and she's very risk adverse; she keeps me from going off the deep end and I liven up her life. 

Other than the HD/LD thing, all our differences are more beneficial than detrimental.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

If you marry the wrong person, you DIVORCE them. You don't cling on until something "better" happens to brush up against you. JMO.


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## seabeeken123 (Aug 16, 2017)

Vinnydee said:


> Good question that got me thinking about our 45 year marraige.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




And then you woke up right?........


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