# Ladies, can you teach orgasm?



## diydude (Nov 5, 2010)

For you ladies that can "take care of yourselves" when your mate isn't around, can you provide some possibilties for those who haven't had one yet?
My wife has never.
Nearly 40 years old she says she has never.
She says that maybe our sex life would increase if she could learn how to do it.( how to reach an orgasm)
I am willing to try anything and everything to save our marriage and better our sex life and she tells me she she is willing to try things also.
So one of those "things" is for her to figure out how to reach an orgasm.
This subject reminds me of the latest statistics, 
the last I heard, one out of 100 women have ever had one or can reach one regularily. That is sad.
I assume most just don't think it is proper or moral, and the rest just don't know how or haven't experimented enough.
So ladies, how did you get your first, on purpose or by accident.
I got my first like most guys, climbing the rope in gym class.
I had no idea what the hell just happened but I wanted it to happen again, and again, and again,...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

You are making me share with you my secret.

I was in high school( 17 years old), had an affair with this physics teacher. He was experienced. I didn't know much about sex. The first time with him I didn't find it special. The second time he did something different, he was rubbing himself on me, I got very excited, and a few minutes later, I experienced my first orgasm, it was like flying..............The third time, I was about to come, but then he lost, so I just climbed on top of him and did what he did to me the second time, I came within seconds. 

From then on, I figured out how to come by myself! I have enjoyed sex since then.


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## Kingrat (Nov 6, 2010)

diydude said:


> For you ladies that can "take care of yourselves" when your mate isn't around, can you provide some possibilties for those who haven't had one yet?
> My wife has never.
> Nearly 40 years old she says she has never.
> She says that maybe our sex life would increase if she could learn how to do it.( how to reach an orgasm)
> ...


My recomendation is this:

1.- Don't talk about it with your woman again (for a while). Sex is 100% mental for women so talking about it will only increase her "performance anxiety", which will drive you away from your mutual goal.

2.- Develop and work on 2 biggest elements of your relationship: Trust and Respect. Make her feel and know that she is your hot babe.

3.- Buy and read very carefully the book "The secrets of Female Sexuality" (I'm not pluggin this book) by David Shade. This man is a real expert on what WORKS, not what people say it works.

4.- After you have done 1,2 & 3. You will realize that you have an amazing power. Use it for good.


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## LousyRiverdalePunk (Nov 10, 2010)

Buy a vibrator. If that doesn't work...by a different kind of vibrator....if that doesn't work....hey, there are lots of kinds of vibrators. Yeah, yeah, I'm a guy and probably shouldn't over advice on this...but, yeah, just get vibrators. One will work eventually. 

And feel free to use them during couples-time as well. I am positively baffled by people who don't dare bring one into bed with their partner. It pretty much means she'll have an orgasm and it makes the guys job that much easier. For those to macho or find it insulting...just keep it to the side in you yourself aren't able to deliver.


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## diydude (Nov 5, 2010)

I am a little surprised?
I thought for sure I would find most ladies here had to achieve an O by themselves before they could get one during during intercourse.

So is it true that some ladies can rattle through more than one during one session with your partner?(as long as he allows enough time)


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Get a hand-held shower attachment and tell her to let the warm water spray on her clit, and within a couple minutes she should have an orgasm. That is how I accidentally had my first when I was 13 yrs. old. I think it is very easy, because you don't have to decide what kind of vibrator to buy, or where to hold it, or worry it is too loud, or worry about becoming desensitized (which I worry about when I use a vibrator). 

I have a good friend who has many orgasms just during IC (one after the other), and needs no clitoral stimulation at all. Her H thinks he's a god, but if he were to be with most women he would fall way short. The odd thing is, she avoids sex and only likes to do it a few times a year, even though they have a very close loving relationship.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Oh, I thought this was a thread about lady instructors teaching orgasms and needing sign-ups. . .carry on. . .


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

Sara Ann said:


> Get a hand-held shower attachment and tell her to let the warm water spray on her clit, and within a couple minutes she should have an orgasm. That is how I accidentally had my first when I was 13 yrs. old. I think it is very easy, because you don't have to decide what kind of vibrator to buy, or where to hold it, or worry it is too loud, or worry about becoming desensitized (which I worry about when I use a vibrator).


Exactly this ^^ I didn't start out my orgasm experience like this but it's by far the easiest and best way to do this. If my husband ever, ever wants to change that shower head with 5 water spraying modes, he'll have to get me another one that's exactly the same. I've grown too fond of it....


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## sntdwn2ufrmhvn (May 20, 2010)

buy her a vibrator, and use it on her during foreplay....all she really needs to do is play with herself, some women feel like this isn't something a woman should be doing...screw that..lol. go toy shopping, you can do it on the internet and get it secretly shipped to your door.


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## az_wife (Nov 18, 2010)

Wow! Didn't realize that some women don't have the big O, how sad!! I will agree with all the above, it works and I can achieve the big "O" with IC and clit stimulation...not uncommon to have multiples..- would tell u to just take it slow and she has to feel comfortable totally with u and trust is a big thing also. Good luck...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ysobel0612 (Nov 22, 2010)

Sometimes when I think too much about it during sex, like when he's asking if I've come, I almost always never came. I don't want to be hurried but I can't help it if my husband has reached it before I do. It makes me feel disappointed at times if I hadn't have an orgasm. Other times, I just brush it off. I hope this will not create a problem for me in the future (i.e. my lack of interest in sex).


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

K, well, for me its mental. 

My ex had no experience and did not know what he was doing. My current hubby, focused on me and what he was doing to me and it worked 

figure out what she gets off on. I get off on the idea of being so incredibly wanted he cannot stop him self, being man handled, mauled, and then theres the kinkier bdsm element that plays in too. So long as it all plays in together I go time and time again without fail. Hubs has almost always given me multiples except on the occasion he cant hold back as long as normal.

theres only one I specifically remember, and he had me so in a mental sexual trance I completely um..for lack of a better less offensive word, exploded. it was amazing.

Vibrators do little for me, they feel nice, but alone, I really don't do it for myself, I'd rather have sex and focus on pleasing the other person, while they focus on pleasing me, it makes it like a war almost. 

so while my suggestion seems to be the odd one here, get into her head and play around with her dirty little fantasies/kinks.


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## MissMoneypenny (Nov 22, 2010)

Teasing helps, and by that I mean physical teasing. Try and get her turned on first - that really needs your input to see which areas turn her on most.

I would suggest that when she's excited you pretend to enter her, then pull away. Then kiss her and distract her, then pretend again... just by pushing slightly and maybe entering slightly but not all the way. Basically play little games and see if that works and at the same time, get further and further in until she can't take it anymore and you achieve your own release.

A confident man is always a bit of a turn on - it doesn't matter if you have experience or not, but you should try and figure out what makes her tick.


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## sntdwn2ufrmhvn (May 20, 2010)

let me add that i'm 25 and i never had an orgasm DURING sex until i was 22...and i had been with 8 men. but then i met my now EX b/f, and he was AMAZING. here is the main problem with men, and you may not want to hear this, but MOST men are not willing to take the time during sex to figure out how to make THAT particular woman orgasm, some women need it fast, some slow...for me i need slow, with teasing b/c it builds up the excitement, basically i need him to just stop and let me guide things for a little while. i love it fast, and hard, etc etc...but that is NOT what gives me an orgasm. Also, most men that don't last very long will sadly NEVER get a woman off.


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