# What do you have to offer to your marriage



## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

I went to my 3rd counseling session today and we talked about the things we can offer our marriages. 

I came up with 

*Honesty* - even if you know it might hurt to tell them 

*Compassion*- You might not like things your spouse does or vice verse , but you have to stand by your spouse even if you have to do things that you don't enjoy

*Trust* - Pretty basic 

*Unconditional Love* 

*Communication*- This is huge to me right now , my H and I never had this and this is why we are struggling right now 

*Affection*- This I think is also important. I know myself I love the little things more the big things 

*Unity -*- I was bad for this , I always felt I had to make the decisions in our life and I hated it. Now anything that can effect our family will be decided together.

*Understanding-* To listen and understand my H. I never use to, it was always just about me !

Do you have anything to offer , I want to write this up and give it to my Husband !


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Pretty much like what's running in my marriage now but I'm adding 2 more in it:
Chemistry- the heartbeating fast and the flush in the romance.
Great sex- not just to have regular sex but great sex. This is something both husband and wife have to offer and reach maximum sexual satisfaction together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

A very wise divorce attorney once told me to add *memories/history together *. I now see where he was going with that one as it relates to a long term marriage (with children).


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## Jaded Heart (Jan 5, 2011)

Thanks Girls, I'm going to print these things out and put them on my fridge. 

Anyone else have some input?


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Everything you posted plus;

*Devotion* - I am completely and wholly devoted to my wife and she is to me(no kids)

*Respec*t - I respect my wife as a person and as my partner. Her thoughts, ideas, decisions are important and worthy of my respect, even if I disagree sometimes.

*Fight fair* - A married couple is going to have disagreements. Don't bring the past into it. Settle what the problem is here and now. If there is another lingering problem, now is not the time to bring it up with a_, "Yeah, but last month you ________, and it really made me mad."._


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Forgiveness.


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## Zammo (Aug 9, 2010)

Let's be more precise here...

What do you offer in the marriage _that is important to your spouse_?

If the things you list are only important to _you_, then you've got the wrong list.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Zammo said:


> Let's be more precise here...
> 
> What do you offer in the marriage _that is important to your spouse_?


1. * Honesty *-even if I did something that he might not like (it's happened more than a few times!), he knows I keep nothing from him. Anything that has the potential to come between us, I would tell him about. I am not perfect but I am HONEST to the core. He says their is no woman like me in the world. 

2. *Communication* - the bedrock of our *understanding* each other starts here. I despise the silent treatment & he can count on me always to humble myself if I am at fault (usually), listen to him, try my darnest to understand , and *respect* him if we have differences. And *forgive* when necessary .

3..* Verbal Affection *- this he loves & helps him thrive emotionally

4. *Physical Affection *- including much love making with enthusiam & desire. This he loves & enjoys as much as me, makes him feel especially loved.

5. *Memories /History together *- nice one- I like this. ONe of my hobbies is photography, I have a HUGE mountain of pics, beautiful memories. very very very important to both of us. 

6. *Acceptance*- I accept him for his flaws & shortcomings, even weaknesses and he accepts me for mine.

7. *Acts of Service * Since he is working & I am not - he appreciates what I do during the day to make his life easier >> Cooking of meals, cleaning, laundry, the children's needs, scheduling all appointments, paying bills, most planning-vacations, cutting the grass etc. That way he only needs to concentrate on the things I can not physically do. (fixing cars, leaky roof, etc). 

8. *Living within our Budget*- This takes much stress off of our marraige, so we have extra $$ if we need it. I coupon, I rebate, I search for sales, I use Ebay, I enjoy Flea Markets & Consignment Shops for clothes. 

9. * My Devotion & Time* I always show my husband he is #1 in my world. He knows I look forward to him coming home every day after work & his days off are a treat, we look forward to them & our moments alone -when the kids are in school. We do most everything at each others side. 

10. *My Happiness*- I offer my husband my happiness because MY Happiness *IS* his happiness. Which in turn works on the whole family. This is what he lives, works & breathes for - to make his family HAPPY.


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## Zammo (Aug 9, 2010)

> I always show my husband he is #1 in my world.


This should be the first in the list.



> I offer my husband my happiness because MY Happiness IS his happiness.


And this, the second on the list.

The most miserable situation for a husband is when a wife refuses to be happy.


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