# is this cheating or not



## Nvp (4 mo ago)

So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley. 
One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.

My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


Without know if she talks to him on work issues and trusts his advice , it is hard to say , she is seeing him on work time so it is work related until other is proved , it could be all innocent and you could be right , the only way to know is pay a pi 

but you been "always suspicious she did it so that i so not question." could drive a wadge between you two 

you have to trust her up to the point that you are wrong to trust her , not easy , once trust is gone or never in place there is no relationship


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


Stop talking to her, and start investigating. Start watching everything and saying nothing. Snoop on her phone, where she goes, what she does, check your phone bill.

Her behavior has plenty of red flags to make me think she's in an EA or maybe PA. My wife calling a guy in the middle of the night while I am away would be enough to start WW3 even without all the other red flags.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You already know the answer…. You don’t need us to confirm it for you.

It’s blatantly obvious


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

frenchpaddy said:


> Without know if she talks to him on work issues and trusts his advice , it is hard to say , she is seeing him on work time so it is work related until other is proved , it could be all innocent and you could be right , the only way to know is pay a pi
> 
> but you been "always suspicious she did it so that i so not question." could drive a wadge between you two
> 
> you have to trust her up to the point that you are wrong to trust her , not easy , once trust is gone or never in place there is no relationship


Yeah because all those deleted text, heart, and kiss emoji don’t mean anything…..right ???


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Your gut is warning you something is off here, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here to begin with.

Always, always trust your gut. It's a self-protection instinct that picks up on finer details and works faster than conscious-mind.

Time to shut your mouth and keep your eyes and ears open as far as your wife is concerned. Once your gut screams, it's time to investigate.

Recover those texts. Get some recovery software and recover the contents of her phone to your computer to start with.

Search this site for investigation techniques, you will find references to VARs, Google Location Monitoring and much, much more.

Good luck OP, I hope it's nothing, but the gut unfortunately is rarely wrong.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

If you have been fine with all of her other male friends but this one has your spidey senses tingling, then that's something to pay attention to. 

But, she said you have always been suspicious, is that of everyone or did that accusation start after she met the new colleague?

Does she only delete texts from him, or everyone? Some people do like to keep their phone cleared out, other people keep everything. The pattern is important. 

Dressing differently is not necessarily proof that someone is cheating. In this case, it could be explained by the new job role. Visiting a sick colleague is also not a proof, neither is doing it a couple of times without you knowing (most people don't know their spouses every move). Deleting texts, that depends on what her normal pattern of behavior is. Red flags, for sure, but not hard proof. 

Visiting him on her birthday, calling him at midnight is more suspicious, especially the midnight call. And the text flirting does show that at minimum, boundaries are being crossed. 

So stop talking to her about it and investigate.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> You already know the answer…. You don’t need us to confirm it for you.
> 
> It’s blatantly obvious


I second this.

Also, who is saying you are always suspicious? Her? Or is this a self observation? If it's coming from her I'd chaulk it up as a crazy making tactic designed to throw you off her trail.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Definitely get the VAR....they are fairly cheap. Put one in her car and every other place she makes call. Mouth shut eyes open as others have said...

Lot of women go for older guys
...don't kid yourself


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Jimi007 said:


> Lot of women go for older guys
> ...don't kid yourself


Yep, and don't let them kid you either.


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## dermking (5 mo ago)

Hiding it means she knows she does not want you to find out. Either she has been cheating or wants to.


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## blackclover3 (Apr 23, 2021)

@Nvp from a manager/director prospective here, she is involved emotionally if not physically with the guy. 
there is no such team building without everyone present. Management 101 - any activities inside or outside work must be done as a team (group) and not individuals. 
visiting his home during work - means she is banging him during business hours. 
deleting messages - means she is hiding her actions and involvement

I would continue investigating, and then report it to her HR so it is in the open.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Benbutton said:


> I second this.
> 
> Also, who is saying you are always suspicious? Her? Or is this a self observation? * If it's coming from her I'd chaulk it up as a crazy making tactic designed to throw you off her trail.*


Aye.

This is DARVO

Deny, attack, reverse victim, and offender

It is undeniably, a relationship, her and this man are having.

If the man is in an inch, or all the way into her.........um, (heart!), that makes it an affair.

Add in the secrecy, this puts it in the 'no doubt', they are lovers, yes, and consummated.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

When I had cancer and was out for months (both times) my manager did come to my sister's house where I was staying and brought me gifts from the team. That said, she didnt call me at midnight or text often-- possibly there were some texts about my condition and timeframe for coming back. There would have been no reason to delete them and definitely were not heart emoji texts.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


Yeah, she’s a cheater. I’m 49 and a boss has never made house calls. That’s ridiculous. Deleted texts. Midnight calls, heart emojis.
You have been trained well by your wife.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

I tore up my knee and was off work for 3 months. My manager never came by to see me and I didn't expect him to. Those visits would make me believe that something fishy is going on.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

The whole thing stinks to high heaven.
Managers don't go to workers homes while they are on sick leave.
Very inappropriate that a female manager goes to a coworkers house of the opposite sex alone.
Doubt there was any need for communication that couldn't have been dealt with over the phone.
You need to go into investigative mode. Many good suggestions already made here for that.
Be quiet, and watch her every move.
If you can snatch her phone and run a recovery program, do it.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

100% cheating. Deleting texts and calls is the obvious sign.

Said it before...married women should not have a relationship outside of work with a male without their husband being fully aware and invited to all get togethers.


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## statuscheck (4 mo ago)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


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## statuscheck (4 mo ago)

If this were just a male friend she would simply tell you she'd gone to visit him, talked with him, etc. You would know details about this man like why he's on leave, what's likable about him, etc. She'd mention him to you in passing conversations. Going to his house is very personal. She's not clergy or a medical doctor or nurse or physical therapist I'm guessing. 
She is hiding the relationship as much as possible so hiding her feelings for it from you.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Take a step back and think about this:

Your wife was deceptive and secretive about her one on one visits to another man's house.

Sorry this happening, but this is pretty much a no doubt situation...


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

People who have nothing to hide, don't delete texts and calls. There's no need to go visit this male coworker at his home, injured or not. If he were in the hospital, that would be totally appropriate. Something is going on, not sure to what extent, though. But, she's hiding something. Calling you to see when you’ll be home and then calling that number right after, is suspicious.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

Diceplayer said:


> I tore up my knee and was off work for 3 months. My manager never came by to see me and I didn't expect him to. Those visits would make me believe that something fishy is going on.


I am not saying that OP wife doesn't have something going on. It is not uncommon at all at my company for managers to do this when someone is on leave. Often they are delivering items their colleagues got them-- gifts. Also, during COVID all of our managers spent an entire day bringing stuff to team members' homes. Nothing "fishy" happened in any of these instances. 

The midnight phone call and deleted texts are more than enough for me to suspect OPs wife though. I would be upset too (and probably D right away to be honest).


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> I am not saying that OP wife doesn't have something going on. It is not uncommon at all at my company for managers to do this when someone is on leave. Often they are delivering items their colleagues got them-- gifts. Also, during COVID all of our managers spent an entire day bringing stuff to team members' homes. Nothing "fishy" happened in any of these instances.
> 
> The midnight phone call and deleted texts are more than enough for me to suspect OPs wife though. I would be upset too (and probably D right away to be honest).


No D without proof....Suspicious yes , proof No


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

After reading so many threads with this common theme, not sure why many people get married. If you want to date and still be single, why get married. Sneaking around, secret phone calls and texts, etc...if you want to be single, be single.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

*Deidre* said:


> After reading so many threads with this common theme, not sure why many people get married. If you want to date and still be single, why get married. Sneaking around, secret phone calls and texts, etc...if you want to be single, be single.


Well yes, and then why beg and plead to save the marriage when you are found out.....?


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## ArthurGPym (Jun 28, 2021)

*Deidre* said:


> After reading so many threads with this common theme, not sure why many people get married. If you want to date and still be single, why get married. Sneaking around, secret phone calls and texts, etc...if you want to be single, be single.


Because most singles can't afford rent.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

uwe.blab said:


> Well yes, and then why beg and plead to save the marriage when you are found out.....?


I know, right? In those cases it sounds like they want the benefits of marriage, without the responsibility.


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## So far so good (7 mo ago)

Is the OM married?


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

She rang him midnight when you were not there. She must have been thinking of him especially at that time. This is not good. Investigate and don't let her know. I'd be pissed off if this was me.

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


As far as I'm concerned, deleting texts for any reason is enough to cause concern. If I found out my wife was deleting texts from other guys, I would have to question our marriage.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married *7 years now with 2 kids. *
> 
> .....One of her colleague had an accident and *was home for 6 months.* She had started *texting and talking to him*, first time She *visited him at home* as she was his manager. .... But the *second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there.* .....There were *calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period*.
> 
> ......Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the *guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP*. There was one time *she made a call at midnight*.......Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.


A few thoughts.

It appears through reading between the lines that you have discussed these obvious red flags with your wife. One the one hand that is good. On the other hand, if she is cheating on you she will be much more careful.

To me the important issue is once you brought these things up (where were you on your B-day when I dropped by.....why have you deleted some of his texts?....Why did you call him at midnight?), did you make sure you set or reset boundaries with her? Did you tell her that if you ever learn of her cheating on you, it could destroy your marriage and the hearts of your two small children? You should have used those conversations to remind her that she is a married woman with a husband and two small children and you find her behavior going beyond what you expect from the mother of your children and the woman you married. She really needs to consider how things look from your perspective, if she values her marriage.

So let's go to the heart of your questions. Do I think she is cheating on you? Honestly, I don't know. I do believe that she is putting herself on a slippery slope where cheating is more and more likely as time goes by. 

I always find is so ridiculous when a woman says that she just flirted with a co-worker, went out for drinks at a local hotel bar, ended up getting drunk, going up to a room her co-worker got and then "one-thing-let-to-another" and she didn't know how it happened. It happened because it was the predictable outcome for a series of exciting decisions that lead step by step to infidelity. That is what going down a slippery slope looks like. You wife is positioning herself on a slippery slope. Some spouses do this to test themselves on how much they love their spouse. They pride themselves on each test they pass. Actually, they are sabotaging their marriage on a step by step basis until they fail their test and realize that they don't love their spouse.

Good luck to you. Set her down and make sure she understands where you draw the line on inappropriate behavior. So far you have seen her try to explain her way out of everything you have found out. She needs to understand that if she is playing games, the consequences will be for keeps.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

*Deidre* said:


> After reading so many threads with this common theme, not sure why many people get married. If you want to date and still be single, why get married. Sneaking around, secret phone calls and texts, etc...if you want to be single, be single.


Read an article the other day that said younger crowd (20-30's) are just shacking up and not getting married. Main reason was financial, but also in case things went South, they could part ways easily. Coincidentally, less people are going to church then ever before too.


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## DamianDamian (Aug 14, 2019)

Being ok with her male friends, this was always going to happen. Read not just friends by Shirley glass.


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## bygone (11 mo ago)

It is always a problem to delete messages knowing that it will disturb you.

She goes to the man on her birthday.

There are night calls.

change in clothes, make-up, underwear began to be different, she determines her style according to the man she cares about.

place "var" in the house

then you check the records


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


We’re just friends is the biggest lie told here. Wake up to your new reality.
People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Stop being naive.
You can only be a chump if you allow it.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Jimi007 said:


> No D without proof....Suspicious yes , proof No


You only need enough proof for yourself.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Zero boundaries = no marriage.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

SCDad01 said:


> Read an article the other day that said younger crowd (20-30's) are just shacking up and not getting married. Main reason was financial, but also in case things went South, they could part ways easily. Coincidentally, less people are going to church then ever before too.


Many will eventually get married in my experience, if it lasts


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## Newbies (Sep 23, 2018)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


She’s cheating.
She called you to see when you will be home then called him, for a quickie.
I would have said I wouldn’t be home
for hours then watched the house and caught her red handed.
Get proof and catch her so she can’t deny it. In the mean time get your stuff in order so you can file for divorce. She’s cheating.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

It sounds like a budding Emotional Affair. You have two ways to handle this. Your choice.

1) Do as some others suggest and stop talking about it and turn into a spy. Gather intel.
2) Confront her head on, and tell her this is totally inappropriate, bad for your marriage, and it stops or you call a lawyer.


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## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

Yup, it's definitely more than friendship, that's for sure. And the fact that your wife is making unannounced visits and deleting texts means she is most likely is having a PA with him. 

Sorry.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Nvp said:


> So my wife and I are married 7 years now with 2 kids. She changed her job and her dressing changed , her reply was that she is a manager and needs to dress apporiatley.
> One of her colleague had an accident and was home for 6 months. She had started texting and talking to him, first time She visited him at home as she was his manager. But then after that she had visited him twice without me knowing. She did it during work hours , so i had no idea and never questioned. But the second time it was her b day , so i went to surrpise her to her office and she was not there. When i called her she said she had to go out and she went to meet this colleague. There were calls of about total 2 hrs over a month period. they were made before work and during and afer work which she says work related and then they became good friends so it was just builing up on that. The colleague is about 15 year older than her . She had alwways deleted texts and call which i found out but never seen, she said as i am always suspicious she did it so that i so not question. Some texts , i have seen are normal banter. But the guy sent heart kiss emojis and mentiones that she looks pretty anything she wears on one of her DP. There was one time she made a call at midnight which wen to Voice mail , that time i was out with my mate and she called me to ask how long i will be and then straight after that she made that call. Upon asking she said , she does not know why she did it but the colleague told her off next day for doing so and asked her not to call the next day according to her.
> 
> My wife has always had male friends and she has been cool so i never had any doubt but this time , i am not sure if its just friends or more.


Going to see your employee once at their home after an accident I can see.

Multiple times? Especially knowing she deletes communications so you can't see them, etc.... I'd bet good money she is doing him. There is no reason for her to go visit multiple times.

So yes, I'd say she is cheating.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

Whatever is said here, remember this. As a couple who married and made promises to each other, without coercion or reservation, anytime one hides something from the other or keeps a secret from the other, then the the boundaries have been crossed! None in a relationship of love keeps secrets or hide things. Today's relationships have so much more added land mines with the technology of the day. The anti- social media social media. Texting and emails. People so easily, without conscience violate boundaries. Then with a lack of maturity and respect for the SO, PROCEED TO HIDE OR LIE ABOUT IT! Question is why?


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