# Baby steps...any ideas?



## Lanilla (Jan 20, 2012)

My h recently expressed to me that we may be able to work through our marriage difficulties, I'd get excited, but I'm not tryin to be disappointed. He said that his main reason for struggling with staying in the marriage is b/c he feels that I ALWAYS get my way & when I don't, there seems to be hell in the household... AND that he's heard me say many, many, many times b4 that I'd step back... but with no good results. I did let him know that I wanted to work through everything and take babysteps, b/c eventhough he says this is his issue, everyone knows it takes two to tango and constantly blaming me won't help. He wanted to know what baby steps we could take to work through this, any ideas?


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Lanilla said:


> My h recently expressed to me that we may be able to work through our marriage difficulties, I'd get excited, but I'm not tryin to be disappointed. He said that his main reason for struggling with staying in the marriage is b/c he feels that I ALWAYS get my way & when I don't, there seems to be hell in the household... AND that he's heard me say many, many, many times b4 that I'd step back... but with no good results. I did let him know that I wanted to work through everything and take babysteps, b/c eventhough he says this is his issue, everyone knows it takes two to tango and constantly blaming me won't help. He wanted to know what baby steps we could take to work through this, any ideas?


Hi Lanilla

Can you state what some of the issues between you are so that goals can be made to work on those issues.

Are you both in counseling? He needs to own up to his mistakes as well.

Praying for you two.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Lanilla,

While I'm not really clear on what your husband says the issue is (do you become angry or sullen when you don't get your way or do you give him the silent treatment?) I would say that baby steps would be to get both of you to a counselor (marriage counselor?) and try to discover what issues the both of you have.

I also want to note that you seem very defensive and very ready to pin something on your husband even though you seem to agree that you have said you'll step back but you haven't.

While you're correct that both people shoulder some of the issues in a marriage, sometimes the only issues one spouse shoulders is that they didn't speak up soon enough or often enough


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