# If you were a guy for a day???



## Jamestone

Ok ladies. If you were a guy for one day. What would you have to do or try? What would you want to do sexually as a guy and experience? 

Cant wait to hear everyones answers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

masterbate, pee standing up or write my name in the snow(if there happens to be snow on that day)leave the tolit seat up,forget to replace the tolit paper.masterbate again,

oh wait a minute I am a guy.......time to masterbate!


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## Giro flee

I would lift really heavy stuff to find out what that is like. It is so frustrating not being able to open jars or lift things without great effort.
I would go jogging without worrying about what I was wearing or what time it was. 
I would want to know exactly how that much testosterone feels and how difficult it is to control.
I would want to compare male and female orgasms. My husbands never seem to last as long or be as intense as mine.
I would love to be able to play football, hockey, lacrosse with my boys at a much closer level. I could keep up when they were little, but now that they are teens they are way beyond me. I end up watching them play two on two most of the time now.😢


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## Jamestone

Great ones Giro. And yes our orgasms are good but they dont seem to last as long or be as intense as some women's.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pepper123

I would want a BJ. They appear to be magical


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## Jamestone

Pepper123 said:


> I would want a BJ. They appear to be magical


Haha Pepper and who would you want giving it too you. LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias

I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


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## ScarletBegonias

If I could pick the guy I was being for the day I'd pick DH so I could go down on me and see how awesome it is. Only,it wouldn't be me bc I'd be in DH's body...it would just be my body...with what personality?? *headache*

I'd walk around bare chested outside.


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## DoF

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


Good one!!!

But even men get screwed.....it comes down to knowledge vs gender.

THose that have the knowledge and have SOME ability to pick up tools simply do it themselves.

I won't take my car for an oil change as in the past even "the best" dealer/place managed to screw it up.

General rule of thumb, stay away from strealers or "oil lube" places. 

Finding a good mechanic is HARD, that's why I do EVERYTHING myself.

It also saved me WELL over 15k past 20 years.......


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## Anonymous07

I want to be able to pee standing up(always jealous of that ability when we're hiking out in the woods) and see what it's like to have a male orgasm.


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## ScarletBegonias

I'd go out and see just how difficult or easy it is to pick up a decent female.

i'd stand in the middle of a store and adjust my d**k.Just because.

I'd masturbate like 5x a day.


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## TiggyBlue

Masterbate obviously, inspect my new man bits in the mirror for about a hour, maybe watch monty python to get some understanding why some find it funny.
Always got stuck on whether I would sleep with a guy or a girl though, I don't really want to sleep with a girl but don't really like the thought of giving a guy anal.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Jamestone said:


> Ok ladies. If you were a guy for one day. What would you have to do or try? What would you want to do sexually as a guy and experience?
> 
> Cant wait to hear everyones answers.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Once I had a dream that I woke up and had a penis and discovered said penis when I went to use the toilet. I didn't know what to do with it, it was erect, I was like WTF, what a nuisance! Thankfully I woke up to discover it was just a dream.

I have no problem figuring out what to do with a penis that I own but isn't attached to my body. 

As for the rest, gender makes no difference at all. I live most of my life in some kind of gender neutrality, but I'm glad I have the option to wear a dress or skirt without worrying about judgement.

Personally I find it more fun to be a woman, and to be able to look at your body and think, now, if I were a man, what would I want me to wear today?

Oh, shaving, unless I'm wearing something that requires it, I don't do it, so I think the shaving thing evens out as some men have to shave every day or at least tidy up (although I'm sure there are loads who don't care and go all natural, same as some ladies do.)


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## WyshIknew

Dang, so not donating my body to this experiment.

Y'all would break it.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


That's horrible. Where I live I've often only been charged for parts, labor has been free. Even in the city where they don't know me I get huge discounts and they overlook some minor inspection items that would cost 500 useless dollars to fix.


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## ScarletBegonias

I'd find out if they're really telling the truth when they say "OUCH!!!!You're hurtin ma balls!!"


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## ScarletBegonias

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's horrible. Where I live I've often only been charged for parts, labor has been free. Even in the city where they don't know me I get huge discounts and they overlook some minor inspection items that would cost 500 useless dollars to fix.


Here if you want that treatment you'd have to show some cleavage and have a HUGE smile along with a breathy flirtatious voice.


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## Anonymous07

ScarletBegonias said:


> Here if you want that treatment you'd have to show some cleavage and have a HUGE smile along with a breathy flirtatious voice.


:iagree: Yup. 

I always get mechanics who try to rip me off(think I'm a dumb girl who will fall for repairs that don't need to be done). Luckily I know just enough about cars to say no to things and take my car somewhere else.


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## ScarletBegonias

I'd take up stereotypically girly activities and dare other people to judge me. 
Yeah,I'm a hot dude sitting here knitting in the park. So? You want a piece of me??


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## In The Dark

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd find out if they're really telling the truth when they say "OUCH!!!!You're hurtin ma balls!!"


That is one thing you don't want to find out. I can promise you they do hurt when hit, grabbed or grazed! Ha!


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## TiggyBlue

In The Dark said:


> That is one thing you don't want to find out. I can promise you they do hurt when hit, grabbed or grazed! Ha!


Yes but we need to compare it to the boob punch.


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## Catherine602

See what it's like to have orgasms with every sexual encounter. Of course. :rofl:


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## Racer

You ladies make me lol. Based on what I’m hearing so far, you horndogs will also get to experience the inappropriate and unplanned boner because you haven’t trained your mind to ignore how hot the kindergarden teacher is and you’ll be standing in a group of kids with a hardon. 

You will also find those bits snag, bend funny, and itch… You’ll be spotted in an instant since you’ll be the dude constantly scratching and adjusting his junk who’s always hard as a rock.


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## pidge70

The whole world would be my urinal....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn

you would never want to go back to being a woman!

orgasm with every sexual encounter.
leave the toilet seat up.never change the paper,burp,fart,scratch,play dumb in social situations.forget birthdays,holidays,anniversaries,

and number 1 finally get paid what your worth!


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## FrenchFry

See, looking at it sexually, I'd be totally unsatisfied being a dude. I mean, I've had days where I had several dozen orgasms. So, I think it would be awesome to see what one and done is like but only as a novelty.

Same with being gross in public. Not my thing, I'd be a metrosexual, well-groomed polite guy. 

As a dude, I want to see what it is like to not think about being intimidated by men. That would be pretty awesome. Also, what it's like to have people not tune you out while you are talking to them.


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## Racer

Catherine602 said:


> See what it's like to have orgasms with every sexual encounter. Of course. :rofl:


lol... and that same discovery will make you paranoid of your "bedroom skills" when you return to being a woman. 

It's the opposite for men... We have to focus on not climaxing and not thinking about sex to last. You fake O's; We fake that we're really into it without really being there mentally for awhile and distracting ourselves with stuff like long division in our heads or sports stat recollection


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## GettingIt_2

Have lots o' sex with women to see what it feels like "from the other side." 

Other than that, I'm at a loss . . . maybe see if I'm any better at driving a stick shift?


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## Hope1964

I would visit mens change rooms at places like the pool to get a look at as much male junk as I could, just so I could see how big real guys really are and what they look like just hanging there.


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## chillymorn

Hope1964 said:


> I would visit mens change rooms at places like the pool to get a look at as much male junk as I could, just so I could see how big real guys really are and what they look like just hanging there.


you might get your a$$ kicked doing that! big no no looking at others junk in the changing room! or you might find a date from some gay dude.


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## Nynaeve

I'd ask for a raise and/or negotiate a salary.

Go into a men's locker room and see if guys really do talk the way they say they do when no women are around.

I'd do a pull-up. I've never managed one of those. 

I'd go golfing and see if I could hit a drive 300 or more yards.


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## over20

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd go out and see just how difficult or easy it is to pick up a decent female.
> 
> i'd stand in the middle of a store and adjust my d**k.Just because.
> 
> I'd masturbate like 5x a day.


Yes! I'll add I would want to know what it feels like to have a morning wood.


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## over20

chillymorn said:


> you might get your a$$ kicked doing that! big no no looking at others junk in the changing room! or you might find a date from some gay dude.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## larry.gray

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


If you're a dude, why would you need to take it to a mechanic?


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## larry.gray

pidge70 said:


> The whole world would be my urinal....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It never, ever gets old.


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## larry.gray

over20 said:


> Yes! I'll add I would want to know what it feels like to have a morning wood.


Have you ever REALLY wanted to pee and just physically couldn't?


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## over20

larry.gray said:


> Have you ever REALLY wanted to pee and just physically couldn't?


Oh my........that must be awful...... I take it back


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## Sandfly

Racer said:


> You ladies make me lol. Based on what I’m hearing so far, you horndogs will also get to *experience the inappropriate and unplanned boner because you haven’t trained your mind to ignore how hot the kindergarden teacher* is and you’ll be standing in a group of kids with a hardon.
> 
> You will also find those bits snag, bend funny, and itch… You’ll be spotted in an instant since *you’ll be the dude constantly scratching and adjusting his junk who’s always hard as a rock.*


Lol, reminded me of that film 'Hot Chick'

The Hot Chick (2002) - IMDb


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## InOverMyHeart

I would love to be waited on hand & foot while drinking beer/watching ESPN (the guy drama network)!


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## over20

InOverMyHeart said:


> I would love to be waited on hand & foot while drinking beer/watching ESPN (the guy drama network)!


That's a really good one!...and receive a Bj during the commercials!


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## WyshIknew

FrenchFry said:


> See, looking at it sexually, I'd be totally unsatisfied being a dude. I mean, I've had days where I had several dozen orgasms. So, I think it would be awesome to see what one and done is like but only as a novelty.
> 
> Same with being gross in public. Not my thing, I'd be a metrosexual, well-groomed polite guy.
> 
> As a dude, I want to see what it is like to not think about being intimidated by men. That would be pretty awesome. Also, what it's like to have people not tune you out while you are talking to them.


Hmmmm, sorry, missed what you were talking about at the end then.


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## soccermom2three

I would try to get laid and I hope I get lucky.


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## Anon Pink

I know it's been said, but it would love to pee where ever the hell I wanted! That's really the only thing that I would want to know being a dude for a day. I love being a woman. But I don't think any dude could handle being a woman for a day!


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## Pepper123

Jamestone said:


> Haha Pepper and who would you want giving it too you. LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No one in particular... just someone attractive with big full lips :smthumbup:


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## Stonewall

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd find out if they're really telling the truth when they say "OUCH!!!!You're hurtin ma balls!!"


trust me its the truth. you would also find out that hurting them hurts your lower stomach terribly too!


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## Jellybeans

It would be very interesting to experience morning wood or what sex feels like for a man.


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## Racer

Anon Pink said:


> I know it's been said, but it would love to pee where ever the hell I wanted!


And you'd also learn pretty quick that peeing in public within 200 yrds of any educational facility isn't just indecent exposure, it's your name on a sex offenders list... welcome to manhood!


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## SadSamIAm

But what if you were a man and was married to you. 

Then what would you do?

Would it have anything to do with sex or peeing?


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## ScarletBegonias

SadSamIAm said:


> But what if you were a man and was married to you.
> 
> Then what would you do?
> 
> Would it have anything to do with sex or peeing?


I said I would go down on me and see how awesome it is. 

I'd strip me and bang me against the wall while telling me I'm the hottest woman on the planet.


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## larry.gray

Catherine602 said:


> See what it's like to have orgasms with every sexual encounter. Of course. :rofl:


I think you happen to hang out with different men than some of the other women here:



FrenchFry said:


> See, looking at it sexually, I'd be totally unsatisfied being a dude. I mean, I've had days where I had several dozen orgasms. So, I think it would be awesome to see what one and done is like but only as a novelty.


My wife would be much more like FrenchFry. As an example, yesterday was 5 to 2 for wife vs me. On the _very rare_ occasions where my wife doesn't orgasm in one of our encounters, I'm not going to feel particularly guilty about it. I'm going to make an earnest effort, but giving my any grief like you're throwing out would piss me off.


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## Anon Pink

Racer said:


> And you'd also learn pretty quick that peeing in public within 200 yrds of any educational facility isn't just indecent exposure, it's your name on a sex offenders list... welcome to manhood!



That doesn't seem fair! If they caught a woman squatting behind a bush, as I used to have to do when it played tennis, they wouldn't charge her with anything! Oh man I'd be spitting mad! First, lemme finish peeing! Second, why the hell are the bathrooms always locked! Third, behind a bush is indecent exposure to who, the squirrels?


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## Lordhavok

You chicks are weird


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## WyshIknew

They might count one extra squirrel.


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## Jellybeans

ScarletBegonias said:


> I said I would go down on me and see how awesome it is.
> 
> I'd strip me and bang me against the wall while telling me I'm the hottest woman on the planet.


:smthumbup:


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## Dad&Hubby

InOverMyHeart said:


> I would love to be waited on hand & foot while drinking beer/watching ESPN (the guy drama network)!





over20 said:


> That's a really good one!...and receive a Bj during the commercials!


I want to be THAT guy too!


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## 6301

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd go out and see just how difficult or easy it is to pick up a decent female.
> 
> i'd stand in the middle of a store and adjust my d**k.Just because.
> 
> I'd masturbate like 5x a day.


 As a guy, I thought about the differences between men and women and your comment about "adjusting yourself" reminds me of a conversation I had with a lady friend once.

A guy at the mall the day before Christmas. Place is packed with people. The guy picking up some last minuet stuff and while he's walking. the dreadful itch bug strikes and you guessed it, square between his ass cheeks.

Well. What's a man to do? He reaches back with his hand and starts excavating his back side until the itch is gone and if anyone says anything to him, he just looks at them and says that "It's my ass, my itch and my hand and if you don't like it then you scratch it."

Now the itch bug leaves and goes hunting for another victim and this time it finds a sweet, well mannered lady and hits her square in the butt.

What's a woman to do? Think she's going to do the same thing the guy did? HA!

First her eyes get as big as saucers and she finds a place to sit and scoots a little on the chair to get relief but if that doesn't work, she's high stepping it to a ladies room or her car but to reach back and scratch her ass in public? Ain't no way. Ahh, to be a guy.


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## Racer

Anon Pink said:


> That doesn't seem fair!


It's not fair... You'll learn that as a guy, you are really nothing more than a felony crime that just hasn't happened yet; It's a life of creating credible alibi's. You are the potential rapist, molester, serial killer, druggy, angry, violent person who's gonna get them.. Distrust towards you is the normal first impression. Slugs and snails and puppy dog tails...


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## SadSamIAm

ScarletBegonias said:


> I said I would go down on me and see how awesome it is.
> 
> I'd strip me and bang me against the wall while telling me I'm the hottest woman on the planet.


I would think that if my wife was a man for a day. And she was being me, she would:

1) Clean the house
2) Put away dirty dishes
3) Talk to her more

Because these are the things she wants me to do.


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## Mrs Chai

Totally want to experience sex as a guy. And a blowjob.

And peeing outside. Standing up. 

Maybe go out and try and pick girls up, see how hard/easy that is.

Maybe get in a fight, feel what it's like to punch like a man!


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## Jamestone

Seeing several answers about women getting to be a man for a day and trying to pick up women to see how difficult it is. This is a great one because there is no comparison in this between genders. 
Assuming we are talking about sober people. 

ANY woman can go to a bar and pick up a guy in less than an hour. Most could do it in 5 min. 

Many guys could spend all night trying to pick up women and not be successful. 

There is a huge difference. If a woman wants sex she can find a guy at any bar or club to have sex with her. No problem. This does not work that way with guys who want sex and need to find a woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink

Racer said:


> It's not fair... You'll learn that as a guy, you are really nothing more than a felony crime that just hasn't happened yet; It's a life of creating credible alibi's. You are the potential rapist, molester, serial killer, druggy, angry, violent person who's gonna get them.. Distrust towards you is the normal first impression. Slugs and snails and puppy dog tails...


Wow, that seemed a bit harsh at first. But as I thought about it some more I realized you're right. 

In the animal world, some male offspring are solitary by nature and leave their mothers on their own once their hormones begin kicking in, like bears. While other male animals get kicked out well before the hormones kick in, like lions. It is the species with the most violent offspring eating males where they get kicked out. Chicken or egg I wonder?


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## chillymorn

what nobody said they would run out and get a prince Albert pericing!


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## soccermom2three

chillymorn said:


> what nobody said they would run out and get a prince Albert pericing!


I had to google it and got an up close picture. Yikes, who would do that?!


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## hawx20

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd find out if they're really telling the truth when they say "OUCH!!!!You're hurtin ma balls!!"


I've never been hit hard there, but I can tell you that they have been slightly grazed before and the pain was tremendous


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## hawx20

Jamestone said:


> If a woman wants sex she can find a guy at any bar or club to have sex with her. No problem. This does not work that way with guys who want sex and need to find a woman.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Truth.

This is why a woman who sleeps around is known as a **** while a guy who sleeps around is a player or ladies man. Men have to get in the hole. Women have to open the door to let us in.

I always wondered if it would be a good thing or bad thing if the role was reversed. There would be pregnant women and unfathered babies everywhere.


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## over20

chillymorn said:


> what nobody said they would run out and get a prince Albert pericing!


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:



None of the guys on the sister thread said they would get a nipple or clxt piercing either!


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## doubletrouble

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


Ugh...



ScarletBegonias said:


> Here if you want that treatment you'd have to show some cleavage and have a HUGE smile along with a breathy flirtatious voice.


And you know this from other women who have told you, right? I konw YOU wouldn't do such a thing. 



Anonymous07 said:


> :iagree: Yup.
> 
> I always get mechanics who try to rip me off(think I'm a dumb girl who will fall for repairs that don't need to be done). Luckily I know just enough about cars to say no to things and take my car somewhere else.


I worked as a car mechanic back in, oh hell let's just say a efw decades back. I know the stereotypical car wrench trying to rip off women. Because I tend to go aganst the grain, I would walk around the car with the woman, telling her how things work, describing the mechanisms, how they relate to each other, what typically breaks, what her best-to-worst options were, and let her decide what to do (or help her if she still couldn't decide). I got and kept a lot of female car owners during that time. I would get cards from trips they were on, even, saying how nice it was to have their car in good running condition. It was pretty satisfying. And good for business. 

As an experienced mechanic, who over the years has worked on everything from toys to tractors to helicopters to 747s, I've had car shops try to rip me off, too. I never go back, and tell anyone I know, what they did. I do walk in acting ignorant, just to test them.


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## Accipiter777

For those in a sexless marriage... It would be interesting to see those people switch and see exactly how each other feels sexually.


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## larry.gray

Mrs. John Adams said:


> So is having a baby...lol


It can't be as bad. Countless women sign up to have another baby. No man sign up for "kick me in the nuts again."


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## Anon Pink

larry.gray said:


> It can't be as bad. Countless women sign up to have another baby. No man sign up for "kick me in the nuts again."


True! But if after that kick in the nuts you were simply flooded with the most amazing all encompassing bonding hormones as you held this little bundle of pure perfectness (while your brain was still too zapped so you didn't actually feel pain in that moment) ...you would!


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## I Notice The Details

I wonder how the women would handle the fact that there is no privacy in the men's bathroom. Just walk in, pull it out, and pee....even with another man standing right next to you doing the same thing. My wife is so used to privacy in the bathroom. This would shock her.


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## I Notice The Details

I also wonder how women would handle walking thru the grocery store, and suddenly realizing they are getting an erection. Their stallion is growing fast, and making their pants leg look odd all of the sudden. 

I wonder how they would handle erections in public? Would women be embarrassed or proud? Stallions can have a mind of their own at any moment.


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## I Notice The Details

:rofl:


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## I Notice The Details

It is interesting for sure!


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## doubletrouble

Can I just pause for a moment and say ... "ewwww!"


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## hawx20

I Notice The Details said:


> I wonder how the women would handle the fact that there is no privacy in the men's bathroom. Just walk in, pull it out, and pee....even with another man standing right next to you doing the same thing. My wife is so used to privacy in the bathroom. This would shock her.


Forget privacy, how would women handle the nastiness of a mens restroom? At my old workplace, I had to use the restroom but the janitors were cleaning both. They were just about to start the womens so he told me to go in there.

There was a damn sofa in there! It was nice! Still dont know why you need a sofa in a restroom though, but thats beside the point.


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## JCD

InOverMyHeart said:


> I would love to be waited on hand & foot while drinking beer/watching ESPN (the guy drama network)!





over20 said:


> That's a really good one!...and receive a Bj during the commercials!


You will have to tell us guys where we can find a magical princess like that. 

This woman doesn't need a mechanic because she obviously rides a unicorn wherever she goes


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## JCD

larry.gray said:


> It can't be as bad. Countless women sign up to have another baby. No man sign up for "kick me in the nuts again."


:iagree:

There is no upside to a kick in the balls.


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## JCD

A Lesbian author did this. She masqueraded as a man for several weeks.

To 'embrace' the male experience, she did four things:

1) She joined an all male bowling league.

2) She became a high pressure 'coupon book' sales man.

3) She tried to date women as a man (worth reading just for that)

4) She joined a monastery (which is where I had to stop reading the book. It was such a betrayal of these innocent men that I found the act totally despicable)

Granted, she didn't get to pee standing up or understand blow jobs...but she got a taste of what it is to be shot down a dozen times a night and laughed at during dating.

And (sigh) she also probably scored more than some men do.


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## I Notice The Details

Wasn't there a movie a while back were a girl dressed up as a guy and went to High School...I think the title was something like "Just One Of The Guys"?


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## 66impala

I would love to see my wife switch with me. She could:

Carry everything you need in a wallet only.

Pack for a vacation and only need half a suit case for your stuff.

Understand we arent able to read minds at all.

Work a 12hr shift and come home to some new pintrest project that needs to be done that nite.

Blue Balls.

What its like to be 100xs more horny than on any given day a woman is.


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## larry.gray

Mrs. John Adams said:


> I wonder how guys would feel if they discovered a tiny little piece of toilet paper is still stuck to their urethra after wiping the pee off?


Guys discover this all the time. They just stick their tongue out, pick the piece off and go back to work on their wife. 

No big deal :rofl:


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## I Don't Know

66impala said:


> I would love to see my wife switch with me. She could:
> 
> Carry everything you need in a wallet only.
> 
> Pack for a vacation and only need half a suit case for your stuff.
> 
> Understand we arent able to read minds at all.
> 
> Work a 12hr shift and come home to some new pintrest project that needs to be done that nite.
> 
> Blue Balls.
> 
> *What its like to be 100xs more horny than on any given day a woman is.*


That's a big one. Ladies you know when you're really really really horny? That's how we feel 5 minutes after sex. It just gets worse from there.


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## moco82

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd go out and see just how difficult or easy it is to pick up a decent female.


Gwyneth Paltrow described how isolating and depressing it was to go out off the set (as an experiment) in her costume from _Shallow Hal_. You'd be in for a similar experience, at least in an average dude's body.


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## Pepper123

I'd much rather use the men's room at my office than the women's room... There are 7 men and 38 women!


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## Oldfaithful

Id go get a raise.


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## just got it 55

Pepper123 said:


> I would want a BJ. They appear to be magical


You have no idea 

55


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## just got it 55

Anonymous07 said:


> I want to be able to pee standing up(always jealous of that ability when we're hiking out in the woods) and see what it's like to have a male orgasm.


Peeing in the woods is the only advantage men have over women.Not really much to it I would think of someting else

55


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## just got it 55

I Notice The Details said:


> Wasn't there a movie a while back were a girl dressed up as a guy and went to High School...I think the title was something like "Just One Of The Guys"?


Yes and in the end she had great boobs

55


----------



## Battle_Cats

Oldfaithful said:


> Id go get a raise.


Yup. Cuz it's that easy, especially in some of those really high status plush jobs so many of us privileged men get to do. Like these lucky guys:

Breathless and Burdened | Center for Public Integrity

"This yearlong investigation examines how doctors and lawyers, working at the behest of the coal industry, have helped defeat the benefits claims of miners sick and dying of black lung, even as disease rates are on the rise and an increasing number of miners are turning to a system that was supposed to help alleviate their suffering."


----------



## tacoma

Jamestone said:


> Ok ladies. If you were a guy for one day. What would you have to do or try? What would you want to do sexually as a guy and experience?


I think all women should spend a week getting testosterone injections equivalent to the levels running around in the body of an 18-25 year old man.

It would totally blow their minds and instantly create a greater understanding of men by the fairer gender.


----------



## I Notice The Details

tacoma said:


> I think all women should spend a week getting testosterone injections equivalent to the levels running around in the body of an 18-25 year old man.
> 
> It would totally blow their minds and instantly create a greater understanding of men by the fairer gender.


:iagree:


----------



## kilgore

Hope1964 said:


> I would visit mens change rooms at places like the pool to get a look at as much male junk as I could, just so I could see how big real guys really are and what they look like just hanging there.


you'd be disappointed


----------



## doubletrouble

Women would learn why sometimes it's difficult to hit the toilet bowl at the start of the stream. 
Sometimes it doesn't shoot where it's pointed. 
Can't help it.


----------



## chillymorn

what nobody mentioned going golfing,hunting fishing or playing poker!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

chillymorn said:


> what nobody mentioned going golfing,hunting fishing or playing poker!


I can do that already.  Well..not the hunting part but that's just a choice.


----------



## always_alone

moco82 said:


> Gwyneth Paltrow described how isolating and depressing it was to go out off the set (as an experiment) in her costume from _Shallow Hal_. You'd be in for a similar experience, at least in an average dude's body.


Despite popular misconceptions, most women already know exactly how this feels. We're not all Gwyneth Paltrow.

My bet is that SB discovers it's no harder for herself as a man to find a decent woman than it is for her as a woman to find a decent man (assuming comparable attractiveness in both bodies).


----------



## always_alone

tacoma said:


> I think all women should spend a week getting testosterone injections equivalent to the levels running around in the body of an 18-25 year old man.
> 
> It would totally blow their minds and instantly create a greater understanding of men by the fairer gender.


I wouldn't want to be injecting myself with hormones, but if I were man for a day, this is what I would be most curious to experience.


----------



## I Notice The Details

doubletrouble said:


> Women would learn why sometimes it's difficult to hit the toilet bowl at the start of the stream.
> Sometimes it doesn't shoot where it's pointed.
> Can't help it.


That is so true! They could finally experience that....and even worse, waking up with a boner that won't go down and trying to pee first thing in the morning with it pointing at the ceiling. 

NOT easy at all.


----------



## Middle of Everything

always_alone said:


> I wouldn't want to be injecting myself with hormones, but if I were man for a day, this is what I would be most curious to experience.


And the first thing you would think is, damn i want some [email protected] Then a couple minutes later, damn I want some [email protected] you jerk off (or get some if you're lucky)

rinse and repeat.


----------



## always_alone

Middle of Everything said:


> And the first thing you would think is, damn i want some [email protected] Then a couple minutes later, damn I want some [email protected] you jerk off (or get some if you're lucky)
> 
> rinse and repeat.


Okay, I've changed my mind.

Not too interested in giving up my ability to see other people as people instead of body parts.


----------



## Middle of Everything

always_alone said:


> Okay, I've changed my mind.
> 
> Not too interested in giving up my ability to see other people as people instead of body parts.


JOKING. Exaggerating a bit to give an idea of what testosterone flowing through you makes you feel like at times. 

Funny haha?


----------



## doubletrouble

always_alone said:


> Okay, I've changed my mind.
> 
> Not too interested in giving up my ability to see other people as people instead of body parts.


It's not quite that extreme, aa 

But in a man's younger years, there sure are a lot of juices flowing. 

Now, if you were 50-something and were changed into a man, you'd see the world a little more calmly.


----------



## always_alone

Middle of Everything said:


> JOKING. Exaggerating a bit to give an idea of what testosterone flowing through you makes you feel like at times.
> 
> Funny haha?


Oh, okay. Didn't get it. Sorry.

I really do wonder if being horny all the time is really all that different for a man and a woman. It does sound rather more extreme, but I have to say there are already times where I think I can relate.


----------



## tacoma

always_alone said:


> Oh, okay. Didn't get it. Sorry.
> 
> I really do wonder if being horny all the time is really all that different for a man and a woman. It does sound rather more extreme, but I have to say there are already times where I think I can relate.


You probably can relate to an extent.

The trouble of it is the fact that it's a constant thing for years 24/7/52 for years.
It never really stops in youth after puberty.

I really considered myself "coming of age" when I got to a point where it wasn't a factor I had to account for in nearly everything in my life.
I'd have to literally analyze almost every situation against the hormones in my system.

"Does this guy really deserve an ass kicking or am I just over reacting?"
"Do I really love her or am I confusing my desire for love?"

I hadn't really entered manhood until I learned to master my biology.


----------



## bandit.45

I'm about to post a picture of a bloody dead animal I killed.


----------



## tacoma

bandit.45 said:


> I'm about to post a picture of a bloody dead animal I killed.


See?

What did I tell ya?


----------



## bandit.45

tacoma said:


> See?
> 
> What did I tell ya?


I swear to God I will....


----------



## tacoma

bandit.45 said:


> I swear to God I will....


Do I really want to see a bloody dead animal or is that the testosterone talking?

It never ends


----------



## bandit.45

tacoma said:


> Do I really want to see a bloody dead animal or is that the testosterone talking?
> 
> It never ends


Killing animals for meat is a manly man thing to do. 


Actually there are alot of women hunters now too.


----------



## moco82

always_alone said:


> Despite popular misconceptions, most women already know exactly how this feels. We're not all Gwyneth Paltrow.
> 
> My bet is that SB discovers it's no harder for herself as a man to find a decent woman than it is for her as a woman to find a decent man (assuming comparable attractiveness in both bodies).


I'd take that bet. That would be a great academic social experiment (with a reality show sequel).


----------



## Surviving This Marriage

I would show some respect to women.


----------



## Surviving This Marriage

And then I'd masturbate.


----------



## larry.gray

Pepper123 said:


> I'd much rather use the men's room at my office than the women's room... There are 7 men and 38 women!


I work with the opposite. 34 men, 4 women. I've asked one of my female coworkers if they put their names on each stall and reserve them.


----------



## tacoma

Surviving This Marriage said:


> And then I'd masturbate.


See this is the disconnect.

You'd have to masturbate first just so you could show respect to women.


----------



## always_alone

tacoma said:


> "Does this guy really deserve an ass kicking or am I just over reacting?"
> "Do I really love her or am I confusing my desire for love?"


Well, stats on violence are for sure much higher for men, but if you think that women don't confuse lust for love on the regular, then you're not paying attention.

I'm pretty sure we're just as bad at that as you are -- maybe even worse because we're not "supposed" to think that way.


----------



## just got it 55

I Notice The Details said:


> That is so true! They could finally experience that....and even worse, waking up with a boner that won't go down and trying to pee first thing in the morning with it pointing at the ceiling.
> 
> NOT easy at all.


Still no excuse for sloppy technique

Ted Williams never blamed his bat when he struck out

55


----------



## just got it 55

chillymorn said:


> what nobody mentioned going golfing,hunting fishing or playing poker!


Does anybody know that G O L F is actually an acronym ?

10 points to the first to get it



55

ETA: Did the word "golf" originate as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden"? That's a common old wives' tale. Or, in this case, more likely an old husband's tale.

No, "golf" is not an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden." If you've ever heard that, forget it immediately. Better yet, find the person who told you and let them know it's not true.


I should have looked it up first Minus 10 points for me


----------



## Entropy3000

ScarletBegonias said:


> I'd take my car to a mechanic and see what it's like to get a fair deal.


My wife has paid her dues holding the flashlight while I change a starter or adjust the rocker arms.

One day I was so proud of her. We were in Autozone. I was looking at some ... stuff. I forget what we needed but I let her be the one to tell the clerk. He asked if it was for a Windsor or a Cleveland. And what car and year. 

She told him and he laughed at her. I smirked because I knew he was about to get spanked. She very calmly explained to him that this vehcile also came with a Cleveland and that it indeed did have the slanted plugs. His partner looked it up and of course she was correct. He was owned. 

That said, I always check out what she gets told. But she holds her own pretty well.


----------



## Entropy3000

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> That's horrible. Where I live I've often only been charged for parts, labor has been free. Even in the city where they don't know me I get huge discounts and they overlook some minor inspection items that would cost 500 useless dollars to fix.


Yes. This can work both ways.


----------



## SurpriseMyself

I'd spend all day in "guys only" conversations to hear what they really talk about, secretly hoping its not all sex, sports, and work.


----------



## Entropy3000

over20 said:


> That's a really good one!...and receive a Bj during the commercials!


Ok even I want to be that guy.


----------



## Entropy3000

soccermom2three said:


> I would try to get laid and I hope I get lucky.


Indeed. This may be the most important take away.


----------



## Entropy3000

Oldfaithful said:


> Id go get a raise.


Good luck.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> I wouldn't want to be injecting myself with hormones, but if I were man for a day, this is what I would be most curious to experience.


Think desperately trying to suppress the desire for sex and violence.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

I think one thing I would have a woman experience is having sex, feeling ready to c*m, but having to hold it back in order to give her more time to get there... and sometimes, she never does. When that happens, its all kinds of sucky.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Think desperately trying to suppress the desire for sex and violence.


Explain to me how that's different than my everyday experience as a borderline female?


----------



## Entropy3000

ebp123 said:


> I'd spend all day in "guys only" conversations to hear what they really talk about, secretly hoping its not all sex, sports, and work.


This varies with guys. 

The guys I hang out with do not talk about sex per se. That happens when the ladies join in and get flirty.

Definitely work and sports. Humorous observations perhaps. Cars / hobbies. 

Now there may be comments about women. Not usually sex though. If that makes sense.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I think one thing I would have a woman experience is having sex, feeling ready to c*m, but having to hold it back in order to give her more time to get there... and sometimes, she never does. When that happens, its all kinds of sucky.


You solve a bunch of that by getting her to come first, don't you?

If I were a guy, that's how I'd go about it.


----------



## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> You solve a bunch of that by getting her to come first, don't you?
> 
> If I were a guy, that's how I'd go about it.


How long can you teeter on the edge of a sneeze?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> Explain to me how that's different than my everyday experience as a borderline female?


:lol: The only difference is how much harder it is to get the sex and how much harsher the reactions are to the violence.


----------



## doubletrouble

Entropy3000 said:


> This varies with guys.
> 
> The guys I hang out with do not talk about sex per se. Thta happens when the ladies join in and get flirty.
> 
> Definitley work and sports. Humorous observations perhaps. Cars / hobbies.
> 
> Now there may be comments about women. Not usually sex though. If that makes sense.


:iagree: This is about what I've always experienced too with guys. Even with close/old friends, sex doesn't come into the conversation much, if at all. 

Add music to that list too.


----------



## Racer

Entropy3000 said:


> This varies with guys.
> 
> The guys I hang out with do not talk about sex per se. Thta happens when the ladies join in and get flirty.
> 
> Definitley work and sports. Humorous observations perhaps. Cars / hobbies.
> 
> Now there may be comments about women. Not usually sex though. If that makes sense.


Ditto... and it baffles my wife cause she'll ask me questions about their kids and wives and can't seem to believe those subjects never came up. So.. for the women, think about the things you know your guy likes or is into; That is really what we talk about.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I think my husband thinks I'm the one talking sex and trash about women with my friends or when he isn't around.

oh wait...


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> You solve a bunch of that by getting her to come first, don't you?
> 
> If I were a guy, that's how I'd go about it.


Treading deadly waters now... you gotta be really careful not to give her the impression that you expect her to orgasm. The pressure, you see. Sometimes, she's just not going to O and there is in fact nothing you can do about it short of giving her a xanax and going to town with a vibrator for 30 minutes. If she's in her head good luck getting her out... and that's that. Could be her mind is just too busying planning tomorrow's dinner, her next vacation and next year's taxes. I have no idea... just joking.

But seriously, when we get there, we get there... but we're regarded as better lovers if we can hold out till she has time to orgasm. When we get there before she does, the rest of the sexual encounter is a PITA dance of trying NOT to enjoy yourself too much so she has time to get the orgasm she may even already know she's not in the right mental state to have, but doesn't bother to tell you. How's that for f'd up?


----------



## doubletrouble

Sometimes the kids come up in conversation. Or the wife's bad back, or something like that. But mostly we like to talk about "stuff" not people so much. 

Frankly, it's one of the reasons I always liked women for company over men. A little deeper conversation. There are a few men who will go into something deep with you. But not beer-drinking buddies; these guys you have to be able to trust with your life, pretty much. 

And no man will talk about something deep for hours on end. Women love that sh!t more than men, in general. They want to know how you feel, how other people feel, what happened that made you feel that way, etc etc. 

I once had a gal friend (long term platonic friend) who told me I was maybe too in touch with my feminine side. Not gay, but the fact that I could talk on a level like women do. Then again, I was raised by an intellectual mother and had one sister, so I spent more time in that environ, with women, growing up. Too bad that didn't help me divine who would cheat. I'm pretty bad at that one.

I'm still jealous of those completely consuming, body-shuddering, multiple orgasms women get to have. However, I wouldn't want to trade that for having periods and have to deal with some assfart men. lol


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

doubletrouble said:


> Frankly, it's one of the reasons I always liked women for company over men. A little deeper conversation. There are a few men who will go into something deep with you. But not beer-drinking buddies; these guys you have to be able to trust with your life, pretty much.
> 
> And no man will talk about something deep for hours on end. Women love that sh!t more than men, in general. They want to know how you feel, how other people feel, what happened that made you feel that way, etc etc.


I think most guys open up when they feel really secure with who they're talking to, which means - not with most other guys. C'mon... they might think you're a wimp. There's a macho competitive thing to maintain to keep respect. You can't go pouring yourself out left and right. Handle your sh*t mang. Right? 

I have a few close male friends who I'm open with. Guys I would go to battle for and who have shown me loyalty beyond measure. The guys that have your back even when you're wrong - fight the fight with you - only to call you out and tell you how wrong you were AFTERWARD. When the sh*t hits the fan, these are my brothers. These are the people I can tell anything, and get back not the empathy or sympathy you tend to get from women, but an ability to truly relate. Even better, while so many women take on a caretaking posture of concern - they tend to withhold the things you don't want to hear. My boys will tell me straight, "Dvls, you're being a d*ck. Stop getting in your own way. I'm not going to give you any sympathy, you stirred up all this sh*t yourself. You need to get right..." etc etc etc. or "Yeah, I worry about that too... you can't let it get to you. You gotta put that away and just do what you do and be happy with it." Everything from my affairs to drug use when I was younger, to insecurities, to bitterness and hurt... it is an awesome thing to have at least one guy friend to relate to... and sadly, from what I gather... pretty damn rare.

Admittedly, it is a lot easier to be emotionally open with women.

btw... having the orgasms they do would be pretty cool to try out, but mostly I'd want to have that ability some of them do to flip their hair, squeak and giggle and get guys tripping over themselves to do them favors. And they say they have no power... that's a ton of power. "Hee hee... can you work my shift? I really need this. You would be doing me such a huge favor, I would reeeally appreciate it. (batting eyelashes)" When I waited tables in college I knew a girl who always got some guy to do her sidework and she wasn't sleeping with any of them. That would be a nifty ability to take for a spin.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> But seriously, when we get there, we get there... but we're regarded as better lovers if we can hold out till she has time to orgasm. When we get there before she does, the rest of the sexual encounter is a PITA dance of trying NOT to enjoy yourself too much so she has time to get the orgasm she may even already know she's not in the right mental state to have, but doesn't bother to tell you. How's that for f'd up?


You know, when you talk about women, I almost start wondering if I really am one. I so cannot relate to *anything* you say about us.

And so what, you pop off before her. So take some time to get her there afterward.


----------



## Entropy3000

always_alone said:


> You solve a bunch of that by getting her to come first, don't you?
> 
> If I were a guy, that's how I'd go about it.


I have anxiously waitd for this day to do this always_alone.

:iagree:

Because once you do that she may have several orgasms. It is not always just her then you. If the planets align she goes 1 or more ( or 50+ ) times and then she may have several more along the way.


----------



## Entropy3000

doubletrouble said:


> :iagree: This is about what I've always experienced too with guys. Even with close/old friends, sex doesn't come into the conversation much, if at all.
> 
> Add music to that list too.


Music. Yes ... absolutely.

But no dancing.


----------



## Entropy3000

Faithful Wife said:


> I think my husband thinks I'm the one talking sex and trash about women with my friends or when he isn't around.
> 
> oh wait...


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## Entropy3000

doubletrouble said:


> Sometimes the kids come up in conversation. Or the wife's bad back, or something like that. But mostly we like to talk about "stuff" not people so much.
> 
> Frankly, it's one of the reasons I always liked women for company over men. A little deeper conversation. There are a few men who will go into something deep with you. But not beer-drinking buddies; these guys you have to be able to trust with your life, pretty much.
> 
> And no man will talk about something deep for hours on end. Women love that sh!t more than men, in general. They want to know how you feel, how other people feel, what happened that made you feel that way, etc etc.
> 
> I once had a gal friend (long term platonic friend) who told me I was maybe too in touch with my feminine side. Not gay, but the fact that I could talk on a level like women do. Then again, I was raised by an intellectual mother and had one sister, so I spent more time in that environ, with women, growing up. Too bad that didn't help me divine who would cheat. I'm pretty bad at that one.
> 
> I'm still jealous of those completely consuming, body-shuddering, multiple orgasms women get to have. However, I wouldn't want to trade that for having periods and have to deal with some assfart men. lol


I had to double check on this post because it sounded like I wrote it. I like guys ( in a manly man kinda way ). But I can have very different conversations with women that are deeper on their own level. One on one or a group. Or mixed.

Feminine side? I can't go there. I will call it my soft side.  I have a real soft side but laugh at me all you want, there is still a level of sexual tension and it is still a woman / guy exchange. It's nice.

With my colleagues it is just as likely I will be sitting at a table with a group of ladies and me as with a group of guys. Sometimes it feels like holding court.  

I almost never sit down at their table. They usually find me. Why? Because I am fun and engaging in those settings. I have suggested I am safe and anytime I suggest that I get told NFW. Whatever. I think I respect them for who they are. If anything I tend to be self deprecating. Indeed I can tease ( neg? LOL ). Call it a neg but it is really just being engaging. The repsonse is usually a closed eye significant laugh that indicates, yeah you got me there. Women can be so awesome at times. They like a guy who can mae them laugh ... in a good way.


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> How long can you teeter on the edge of a sneeze?


Well, I imagine that if you're a young buck, you pop off once and are ready for more a few minutes later. And if you're a less young buck, or are slower on the draw for whatever reason, you already have more time to play with, no?

I mean if you're sitting around while she gets you all ramped up with bjs or fondling or whatnot, then of course you'll be on the edge sooner than her and have to hold it in. That's why it helps to put her on the edge first (or at the same time).

Or, like I said to Dvl's, if you can't contain, then take care of her after. No big deal, is it?


----------



## Faithful Wife

But always....the things you mention would require communication. Don't you know sex is all supposed to happen without speaking our needs and wants?

(sarcasm)


----------



## always_alone

Entropy3000 said:


> Because once you do that she may have several orgasms. It is not always just her then you. It the planets align she goes 1 or more ( or 50+ ) times and then she may have several more along the way.


Exactly! Now *that's* what I'm talking about.


----------



## Faithful Wife

It is also quite a stretch to imply that PIV is "the way" she would have an O, anyway. Some women do/can, most don't. But again, you'd have to actually talk to each other about sex to know this.


----------



## Entropy3000

always_alone said:


> Well, I imagine that if you're a young buck, you pop off once and are ready for more a few minutes later. And if you're a less young buck, or are slower on the draw for whatever reason, you already have more time to play with, no?
> 
> I mean if you're sitting around while she gets you all ramped up with bjs or fondling or whatnot, then of course you'll be on the edge sooner than her and have to hold it in. That's why it helps to put her on the edge first (or at the same time).
> 
> Or, like I said to Dvl's, if you can't contain, then take care of her after. No big deal, is it?


This seems to be your topic. When I was a puppy. Not sure I was ever a young buck. Yeah, I could go several times so the first time, no big deal. Recover while attending to her more and then the next times it would be great but much easier to control.

This is why many of us go off very soon if we have not had sex in a while. Regular sex can allow a guy to control better.


----------



## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> Or, like I said to Dvl's, if you can't contain, then take care of her after. No big deal, is it?


I suspect it probably depends on the couple and how well they communicate. I wouldn't think it would be a big deal myself, but as an example of the opposite end of the spectrum of thought, there was a lady right here on TAM awhile back who was loudly proclaiming that any man who couldn't get his partner there from PIV alone was simply selfish. I doubt if that idea originated in a vacuum; it probably has roots in popular culture.


----------



## Entropy3000

always_alone said:


> Exactly! Now *that's* what I'm talking about.


Some women do not orgasm every time. Guys can get hung up with that I think. 

It is more than ego. But I will concede it can be.

Truly satisfying sex for me personally is when I can rock her world. However that happens. It is completely secondary to me getting off myself. That may sound hard to believe. I am not alone here either.

But also I am about the journey. I do not want to be Leonard from Big bang ( King Of Foreplay ) but my enjoyment is not about getting off. Yes I want that. But I do NOT want to race to that. I want the intimacy. 

I guess I am a wuss 

But sometimes what my wife really likes is for me to lose myself. To see my urgency. That she drives me crazy. In a good way. So I let myself get a bit out of control. I let myself enjoy it.


----------



## arbitrator

*I think that before ladies, who get to be named as honorary "men for a day," that they fastly need to spend just a little bit of time being horny little 12-13 year old's, going through puberty, hoarding Playboy's underneath their beds, getting boners in public and getting rejected in their initial moves toward those young gals whenever their hormones start getting all stirred up!*


----------



## Faithful Wife

arbitrator said:


> *I think that before ladies, who get to be named as honorary "men for a day," that they fastly need to spend just a little bit of time being horny little 12-13 year old's, going through puberty, hoarding Playboy's underneath their beds, getting boners in public and getting rejected in their initial moves toward those young gals whenever their hormones start getting all stirred up!*


Um...this describes me exactly.


----------



## Entropy3000

arbitrator said:


> *I think that before ladies, who get to be named as honorary "men for a day," that they fastly need to spend just a little bit of time being horny little 12-13 year old's, going through puberty, hoarding Playboy's underneath their beds, getting boners in public and getting rejected in their initial moves toward those young gals whenever their hormones start getting all stirred up!*


<tmi>

I was in sixth grade. So 12. I was in Catholic school. We wore unifroms. My zipper broke. So I just sat at my desk. But then for whatever reason we as a class had to all stand up and freaking sing. I told the teacher ( sister ) my zipper had broken. She said that is ok just stand up and sing. 

Sigh.

So of course I stand up. I was already a bit at attention because back then that was the default state.
So there I am standing and singing and can feel the coolness and I was at full mast by mid song. I have no idea if there was a wet spot or not. She took notice and went full red in the face. She acted very embarrassed. I thank God that I did not end the song with fireworks. This is the absolute truth.

Embarrassing horny Catholic boy moments.


----------



## arbitrator

Entropy3000 said:


> <tmi>
> 
> I was in sixth grade. So 12. I was in Catholic school. We wore unifroms. My zipper broke. So I just sat at my desk. But then for whatever reason we as a class had to all stand up and freaking sing. I told the teacher ( sister ) my zipper had broken. She said that is ok just stand up and sing.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> So of course I stand up. I was already a bit at attention because back then that was the default state.
> So there I am standing and singing and can feel the coolness and I was at full mast by mid song. I have no idea if there was a wet spot or not. She took notice and went full red in the face. She acted very embarrassed. I thank God that I did not end the song with fireworks. This is the absolute truth.
> 
> Embarrassing Catholic boy moments.


*Bless your heart, Entrop! I guess that the only possible thing that might have saved me might have been those "tighty-******" BVD's that I had on underneath!*


----------



## Entropy3000

<more tmi>

About 12 years ago. I am teaching at the University. Actually filling in on a Saturday class for someone else.

The guy says I need to give you a heads up. He says he has a lady in the class who is breast feeding. That do not be shocked if she starts playing with her nipples during class. She had told him that her nipples get dry or some explanation like that. What the heck do I know?

I figured he was having me on.

That morning I get the class started and sure enough. in the second row there is a young woman in her mid to late 20s wearing a light grey t-shirt. I immediatley know this was the one he was talking about. I am betting that she was used to going braless at times, but that since she was breast feeding she was ... ummm, swelled up more than usual. I am amazed he let her get away with that in his class.

So the day goes along. We come back from lunch. I am into one of those dissertation periods and low and behold OMFG, she is playing with one of her nipples. I mean pulling on it and twisting it in her fingers. So when I saw that I may have taken a short pause in speaking but I think I covered it ok. So my attention was now split. I now have this internal monologue going. For the love of God do not think about what you just saw. Where is that damn podium.

So I made it through. But I made sure the podium was there just in case. When I spoke to him he thought it was very funny. But he said ... I know. It is distracting. I am glad he gave me the heads up.

This is NOT a Dear Penthouse. This is just another guy moment.

Embarrassing horny recovering Catholic guy moments.


----------



## Entropy3000

arbitrator said:


> *Bless your heart, Entrop! I guess that the only possible thing that might have saved me might have been those "tighty-******" BVD's that I had on underneath!*


Yes. You are right!!!! Exactly. OMG if I wore boxers. What an education that might have been.


----------



## Cosmos

Entropy3000 said:


> <tmi>
> 
> I was in sixth grade. So 12. I was in Catholic school. We wore unifroms. My zipper broke. So I just sat at my desk. But then for whatever reason we as a class had to all stand up and freaking sing. I told the teacher ( sister ) my zipper had broken. She said that is ok just stand up and sing.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> So of course I stand up. I was already a bit at attention because back then that was the default state.
> So there I am standing and singing and can feel the coolness and I was at full mast by mid song. I have no idea if there was a wet spot or not. She took notice and went full red in the face. She acted very embarrassed. I thank God that I did not end the song with fireworks. This is the absolute truth.
> 
> Embarrassing horny Catholic boy moments.


I hope you did an hour's suitable penance, Entropy?


----------



## Entropy3000

Cosmos said:


> I hope you did an hour's suitable penance, Entropy?


I think I had to do the stations of the cross.

But you got it. 

Once they get in your head they never really leave.

I was an alter boy then. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.


----------



## always_alone

Faithful Wife said:


> It is also quite a stretch to imply that PIV is "the way" she would have an O, anyway. Some women do/can, most don't. But again, you'd have to actually talk to each other about sex to know this.


Yeah, I don't get the fixation with this --at all! And yet, it seems a popular one.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> You know, when you talk about women, I almost start wondering if I really am one. I so cannot relate to *anything* you say about us.
> 
> And so what, you pop off before her. So take some time to get her there afterward.


You can't relate to a having a guy finish before you got yours or never getting yours? Hmm.. more than one woman has come here complaining about it. Preemptively avoiding any such complaint is the primary reason I usually make sure she gets at least one before PIV even begins.

Not all sex is an escapade of foreplay and post play however. Sometimes its rapidly taking off clothes and jumping right into PIV. But besides that, after my orgasm all I want to do is be mellow and eat a sandwich. It happens before PIV, during PIV or not at all. I don't think Ive ever met a guy who can't relate to the feeling of trying to hold off his O at some point or another.


----------



## always_alone

Faithful Wife said:


> Um...this describes me exactly.


Can't say I've ever had a boner, but I can sure relate to the horny kid getting rejected constantly part.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> It is also quite a stretch to imply that PIV is "the way" she would have an O, anyway. Some women do/can, most don't. But again, you'd have to actually talk to each other about sex to know this.


And not at all my intention to imply such. I don't care if she needs something battery powered to get of before PIV and I have no expectations of her PIV orgasm, or think anything an out how she "should" orgasm. However , the single most common sexual experience I've had is with women who don't seem to care about getting their O prior to PIV, at least in the beginning. Most of the time I'm such a woman and she doesn't get an O before PIV, its because SHE shut down my play saying something like "I want you inside me". Now it all rides on my stamina. Maybe some guys are down with doing things post orgasm, I'm not, and to be honest Ive never heard anyone talk about it. After PIV, I'm hot, sweaty, and exhausted. I gave my best go and the game is now over. If she wants another go, oral or piv, she's just gonna have to wait awhile for another session, cuz I'm tired, she's not getting anything else right now.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> You can't relate to a having a guy finish before you got yours or never getting yours? Hmm.. more than one woman has come here complaining about it. Preemptively avoiding any such complaint is the primary reason I usually make sure she gets at least one before PIV even begins.
> 
> Not all sex is an escapade of foreplay and post play however. Sometimes its rapidly taking off clothes and jumping right into PIV. But besides that, after my orgasm all I want to do is be mellow and eat a sandwich. It happens before PIV, during PIV or not at all. I don't think Ive ever met a guy who can't relate to the feeling of trying to hold off his O at some point or another.


No, what I can't relate to is the way you depict women, what we're thinking, how we act, what we want, what turns us on.

But I can see that, of course, if you make the sex is all about you, then you'll have many more difficulties with women struggling to orgasm or her mind wandering during sex.

If a man left me hanging like that, I'd be wanting to lop it off, for instance.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Entropy3000 said:


> This seems to be your topic. When I was a puppy. Not sure I was ever a young buck. Yeah, I could go several times so the first time, no big deal. Recover while attending to her more and then the next times it would be great but much easier to control.
> 
> This is why many of us go off very soon if we have not had sex in a while. Regular sex can allow a guy to control better.


I have decent stamina regardless of how recently or often I've had sex, but recovery time has always been a solid hour or two. I want rest during that time, not continuing to fiddle with her after all that exertion.


----------



## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I have decent stamina regardless of how recently or often I've had sex, but recovery time has always been a solid hour or two. I want rest during that time, not continuing to fiddle with her after all that exertion.


This is something that has changed over the years for me.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> No, what I can't relate to is the way you depict women, what we're thinking, how we act, what we want, what turns us on.
> 
> But I can see that, of course, if you make the sex is all about you, then you'll have many more difficulties with women struggling to orgasm or her mind wandering during sex.
> 
> If a man left me hanging like that, I'd be wanting to lop it off, for instance.


Oh, the women going on about thinking about shopping lists or all their todos during sex? I was of course using hyperbole, but the unfocused mind of some women during sex is a common trope, not one I made up. I have no idea what women are thinking during sex. I have no idea why sometimes its easy for you to get off and other times nigh impossible. I have no idea why some women don't seem to care about an O at all, and still describe it as good sex. I can't imagine good sex without an orgasm. No thanks.

Are you saying the trope is outright false and scatterbrained thoughts and planning don't interfere with a woman's ability to focus on what she feels and orgasm? Ive read its not uncommon.

I don't really see why you'd feel the need to throw out the not so veiled attack that I make sex all about me. Did I attack you in any way?


----------



## always_alone

Entropy3000 said:


> Some women do not orgasm every time. Guys can get hung up with that I think.
> 
> It is more than ego. But I will concede it can be.


Guys? My experience is that some guys can be pretty indifferent to female orgasm, and as long as they get theirs, don't worry much if she got hers.

I was super surprised when I came to TAM and saw how many women seemed nonplussed about orgasm-less sex. 

No way, I say. 

Don't get me wrong. The journey is wonderful ... but a really good story needs a climax, IMHO.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Guys? My experience is that some guys can be pretty indifferent to female orgasm, and as long as they get theirs, don't worry much if she got hers.
> 
> I was super surprised when I came to TAM and saw how many women seemed nonplussed about orgasm-less sex.
> 
> No way, I say.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. The journey is wonderful ... but a really good story needs a climax, IMHO.


Like for the latter part, don't know about the first part. Most guys I know are pretty high on getting her off it would seem by the way they talk. Its so weird to me that men are criticized for focusing on her orgasm, AND for being indifferent to her orgasm. Is that weird at all to you?


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Like for the latter part, don't know about the first part. Most guys I know are pretty high on getting her off it would seem by the way they talk. Its so weird to me that men are criticized for focusing on her orgasm, AND for being indifferent to her orgasm. Is that weird at all to you?


I've never criticized a guy for focusing on my orgasm, and I honestly do not understand why some women would feel that as unreasonable pressure. I can only think that they've checked out on their sexuality or are with crappy lovers. But I'm probably being unfair, and they would be better people to ask. 

Point being, these criticisms are coming from different people.

As for guys? They will all talk the talk, but not all necessarily walk the walk. An awful lot of the talk is self-serving macho bluster.


----------



## always_alone

Entropy3000 said:


> Embarrassing horny recovering Catholic guy moments.


It's no doubt true that women are far better equipped to conceal our arousal, but what we do have to contend with is growing breasts, which is basically like hanging a bulls-eye on your chest for every creepy predator, endless leers, rude comments, random grabs, and shaming comments.

A different kind of embarrassment.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> I've never criticized a guy for focusing on my orgasm, and I honestly do not understand why some women would feel that as unreasonable pressure. I can only think that they've checked out on their sexuality or are with crappy lovers. But I'm probably being unfair, and they would be better people to ask.


I wasn't referring to you specifically, just the huge contradiction of voices. The commonly leveled complaint is that such focus creates pressure to orgasm that makes orgasm more difficult. Then you hear women like you complain that men are so indifferent. Those sorts of contradictory choruses are maddening to someone like me. lol

Entropy even mentioned orgasm seeking as an ego thing, and I agree to a degree. Do you think the indifferent guys are without ego?


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Do you think the indifferent guys are without ego?


No, I think they're completely full of it.


----------



## tacoma

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't think Ive ever met a guy who can't relate to the feeling of trying to hold off his O at some point or another.


I do it often enough..

After 16 years I'm pretty good at getting her off but those times when I know she's close just not as close as I am that I start going over the 2003 superbowl play by play in my head.

It just sucks when you're right on the edge and ..then it stops.

Yeah, I can finish her other ways but that takes switching positions, breaking momentum, and then getting her back where she was.

I don't want to do that to her.

There's this movie called One Night or One Night Stand (something like that )can't find it or remember exactly.

This couple who just met is in bed and going at it hard when the guy gets that look on his face and there's a voiceover of what each of them are thinking.

The girls is "OH yes,Oh yes, almost,ALMOST oh YES!YES!YES!!"

And the guy is thinking.."4 eggs beating thoroughly, add the sugar and whip for 5 minutes before adding the flour...." with this pained expression on his face.

I burst out laughing because I so seriously "got it" my wife was clueless she's like "What? I don't get it"

Had to explain it to her.


----------



## tacoma

always_alone said:


> I've never criticized a guy for focusing on my orgasm, and I honestly do not understand why some women would feel that as unreasonable pressure. I can only think that they've checked out on their sexuality or are with crappy lovers. But I'm probably being unfair, and they would be better people to ask.


No it's not like that.

I kind of relate it to a guy who is having ED problems.

The more he thinks about it the worse it's going to be and the worse it gets the more he thinks about it.

The more she "tries" to get off the less likely it is that she will.
The longer it takes the more she "tries".

It's like that, women really aren't as straightforward orgasmically as guys are.

There have to be a 5-10 different ways to get my wife off and any given night 6 of them won't work and it's never the same six that don't.
Depends on her mood, how much foreplay, how long she's waited, how much alcohol she's had, how many times has she already gotten off.

It can be a bit like string theory at times to figure it out.


----------



## always_alone

tacoma said:


> No it's not like that.
> 
> I kind of relate it to a guy who is having ED problems.


I expect your explanation holds for some women, but truth is, there are lots of things that can interfere with women's free expression of her sexuality --in particular past abuse and shaming, insecurity, etc. These can be difficult hurdles. I get that.

But honestly, this "recipe" sex you describe is what I define as crappy. My SO does this too. He thinks there are a couple of ways to get me off, and so that's what he does. Sigh. When it doesn't work, it's because I am bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

I like teetering on the edge! When I'm there I often wish it would never end, and I don't get why you wouldn't want to break things up, switch positions, ramp up, fall back and ramp up again. The O at the end is always worth it, IMHO.

And again, the fixation on PIV only seems to me to be about half the problem.

ETA: my SO has some ED problems himself, and I can tell you that recipe sex virtually never works for him. It sometimes takes my full bag of tricks, plus one new one. So it's not just women, and I'm not just talking out my a$$


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Those sorts of contradictory choruses are maddening to someone like me. lol


It's really only a problem if you're trying to be all things to all women without talking to any of them.


----------



## TiggyBlue

always_alone said:


> Can't say I've ever had a boner, but I can sure relate to the horny kid getting rejected constantly part.


:iagree:
Replace playboy for free internet porn and boner's for changing underwear twice a day and I can totally relate.
Would be interesting dealing with a boner in public though.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> It's really only a problem if you're trying to be all things to all women without talking to any of them.


I have no interest in being all things. I have interest in knowing the most common preferences so I'm not acting blindly. I don't know about you, but when I've met someone and we're about to have sex for the first time, there's no discussion of "ok, so, do you want me to really focus on making sure you orgasm... or do you want me to just focus on my own enjoyment even if it means I reach my end before you? Just so you know, after PIV, I'm tired and done... so that's that." Nobody does this do they?

That kind of conversation happens out WAAAY later in relationships in my experience, and the most common side I've heard is to not focus on her orgasm so much -ie - "I don't have to orgasm every time to enjoy and have satisfying sex. Sometimes its just not going to happen and its nothing you're doing wrong... but if you're hell bent and going all out to make sure I orgasm, I feel like I *have* to orgasm, and I can't with that kind of pressure."

Now I'm being totally sincere and genuine when I ask: can you see the problem for men in this scenario? Guys who don't trouble themselves with getting her off are "indifferent, selfish a-holes", but guys who really put effort into making sure she gets off are "creating too much pressure". Now, I have no idea what's the more common scenario really... and for the most part, I go to town before PIV and get that first orgasm down regardless - mostly because I want her to feel good, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also to cover my own @ss from judgment (if my performance is potentially being judged, I'm damn sure going to cover my bases), but its not a universal concern. However, its one I've heard more than once, and it has a definite "damned if you do, damned if you don't" aspect to it don't you think?

Its something else if you've been with someone long enough to know that preference - aside from my EW and my current gf, I haven't been. I've been with my gf for like 8-9 months now and only recently heard from her that she loves how much effort and attention I give her up front and that I'm so interested in getting her off. Yet, she still doesn't feel like she needs to get off every time. I don't get it, but that's what she says.

My preference is to make sure she gets off before PIV, and I sense that women place a high value on extensive oral and foreplay, yet weirdly, the first few sessions with a new girl - she almost always stops me from continuing the play and wants to get right to PIV. Even my gf did this. I went to go down on her and she pulled me up before I even got started. She said since that it was less about her wanting an orgasm and more about her wanting the "one body", filling feeling. She got off, but said she wouldn't have cared if she didn't.

A lot of these things seem contradictory to me. I have difficulty making sense of them. Focus on me, but I don't care if you don't focus on me. :scratchhead: 

And it seems there's a lot of judgment heaped on men whichever way he goes.


----------



## Faithful Wife

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I have no interest in being all things. I have interest in knowing the most common preferences so I'm not acting blindly. I don't know about you, but when I've met someone and we're about to have sex for the first time, there's no discussion of "ok, so, do you want me to really focus on making sure you orgasm... or do you want me to just focus on my own enjoyment even if it means I reach my end before you? Just so you know, after PIV, I'm tired and done... so that's that." Nobody does this do they?


Yes, some of us do.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Also, I have no interest in knowing the most common preferences. I have an interest in knowing my date or potential bf's or potential make out buddies preferences ONLY. Why would I care about the preferences of all the rest of the people I am NOT in bed with or about to be in bed with? :scratchhead:


----------



## FrenchFry

Straight up, when we were talking about getting married, the biggest and item on my list (yes, I wrote a list) was:

Before we had sex for the first time, FrenchFrysHUSBAND sat the down and asked what I liked/loved/needed sexually. 


Kinksters seem to get the notion of talking about sexual wants and needs so much better than their vanilla counterparts. Imagine if you could have those conversations first and skip a good chunk of the first time fumblings that go on--it's magical. 

Maybe I'm more practical-minded, maybe I just expect too much but I'd never had an orgasm having sex the very first time until my husband and I slept together and it all came down to "he asked questions and listened to my responses and gave me the opportunity to do the same." 

I'm less about the woo and more about the O. All day, any day.


Oh, if I was a guy for a day I'd probably end up doing drag by the end. Life without red lipstick is not for me.


----------



## Anon Pink

FrenchFry said:


> . Life without red lipstick is not for me.


There's your new sig line! Love it!


----------



## Faithful Wife

My H and I had many discussions about sex and about our preferences long before we actually had sex. Those were some really great conversations, so hot! Fun!


----------



## FrenchFry

:rofl: It's not a bad one! I'm doing it.


----------



## doubletrouble

TiggyBlue said:


> :iagree:
> Replace playboy for free internet porn and boner's for changing underwear twice a day and I can totally relate.
> *Would be interesting dealing with a boner in public though*.


I've had my boner dealt with in public before. :smthumbup:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Yes, some of us do.


Alrighty then... I just get all the women who don't. 

I would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, I have no interest in knowing the most common preferences. I have an interest in knowing my date or potential bf's or potential make out buddies preferences ONLY. Why would I care about the preferences of all the rest of the people I am NOT in bed with or about to be in bed with? :scratchhead:


Ah, well see, I generally get laid way before I know a damn thing about her sexual preferences. So I play the odds of what most prefer. 

You've previously mentioned sleeping around, having ONS and short lived relationships have you not? You're telling me you had these kinds of conversations with all these guys? 

I genuinely would like to observe such a conversation in real life, because I can't imagine anything less sexy and insecure sounding than, "so... how would you prefer I do this...do you want me to do this or that... do you like it this way? How about that way?" ... and even kinda presumptuous at the same time... "uh... who even said I'm going to sleep with you at all?"

Are you gonna be like "okay, I'll sleep with you... lets lay out the rules and preferences"? In my experience sex happens when it happens and preferences dribble out here and there when they need to be said because the other person isn't doing them. Corrective rather than preventative.

I'm fascinated by your experience FW.


----------



## Faithful Wife

You've actually read me a bit wrong about "sleeping around" and having ONS. Short lived relationships? Yes, you have that right. But most of the "sleeping around" I did, was actually just my make out buddies. I've described that a few times, but you are mixing that up with me saying that I have nothing against ONS or casual sex. I've had very little casual sex in my life. (Lots of casual mashing, though).

The "uh...so how would you...?" way you are describing things is not what happens in my experience.

Highly sexual people (and kinksters as FF pointed out) have no problem stating their needs and wants.

My H and I had many discussions like..."So what are you into? Really? Wow, tell me more! What else? Mmm....that's sounds fun even though not my thing". And on like this for quite a while, hours sometimes. WITHOUT having sex, yes these discussion are still on the cusp of having sex and are quite sexual in nature...but not like naughty talk, just direct, honest, open communication about preferences and desires. 

For my make out buddies, no, didn't have these discussions because I knew I wasn't going to have sex with them.

But the short relationships and anyone I actually had sex with, yes usually several conversations occurred first. I even started those conversations many times. I'm curious, even nosey. If I'm sizing a guy up to decide if I might actually have sex with him, YES I'm going to initiate conversations with him if he doesn't do it first.

I'm a highly sexual woman, I believe I've explained that a few times now. 

I don't leave all the sexual stuff up to my partner to figure out in the dark. I want to KNOW where we're going if we have sex. I'm not going to risk having crap sex just because I didn't bother to make sure we were on the same page first.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

FrenchFry said:


> Kinksters seem to get the notion of talking about sexual wants and needs so much better than their vanilla counterparts. Imagine if you could have those conversations first and skip a good chunk of the first time fumblings that go on--it's magical.


Ah, I'm not kinky now, I'm vanilla? lol... you ladies. I'm gonna go out on a limb that most people don't bust out with their foot fetishes and creepy dom/sub desires on first date... hell, 10th date.

But hey, if you do, I'm fascinated by how that conversation goes down. I'll play the odds that say talking about nitty gritty sexual details too early in a relationship causes most chicks to wig out and think I'm some kind of sexual deviant, perv, or that I'm only interested in sex.

If you're to the point of talking about that stuff, to my thinking you're already at the point of being comfortable enough with someone to have sex - which is when I *have* sex, not start talking about sex.

So did you start this conversation or did your hubby?


----------



## always_alone

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, I have no interest in knowing the most common preferences. I have an interest in knowing my date or potential bf's or potential make out buddies preferences ONLY. Why would I care about the preferences of all the rest of the people I am NOT in bed with or about to be in bed with? :scratchhead:


Yes. This.

The only person's preferences who matters is the one in bed with you. The rest are irrelevant.


----------



## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> You've actually read me a bit wrong about "sleeping around" and having ONS. Short lived relationships? Yes, you have that right. But most of the "sleeping around" I did, was actually just my make out buddies. I've described that a few times, but you are mixing that up with me saying that I have nothing against ONS or casual sex. I've had very little casual sex in my life. (Lots of casual mashing, though).
> 
> The "uh...so how would you...?" way you are describing things is not what happens in my experience.
> 
> Highly sexual people (and kinksters as FF pointed out) have no problem stating their needs and wants.
> 
> My H and I had many discussions like..."So what are you into? Really? Wow, tell me more! What else? Mmm....that's sounds fun even though not my thing". And on like this for quite a while, hours sometimes. WITHOUT having sex, yes these discussion are still on the cusp of having sex and are quite sexual in nature...but not like naughty talk, just direct, honest, open communication about preferences and desires.
> 
> For my make out buddies, no, didn't have these discussions because I knew I wasn't going to have sex with them.
> 
> But the short relationships and anyone I actually had sex with, yes usually several conversations occurred first. I even started those conversations many times. I'm curious, even nosey. If I'm sizing a guy up to decide if I might actually have sex with him, YES I'm going to initiate conversations with him if he doesn't do it first.
> 
> I'm a highly sexual woman, I believe I've explained that a few times now.
> 
> *I don't leave all the sexual stuff up to my partner to figure out in the dark. I want to KNOW where we're going if we have sex. I'm not going to risk having crap sex just because I didn't bother to make sure we were on the same page first.*


I like this whole post, but especially the bold.


----------



## Entropy3000

always_alone said:


> Guys? My experience is that some guys can be pretty indifferent to female orgasm, and as long as they get theirs, don't worry much if she got hers.
> 
> I was super surprised when I came to TAM and saw how many women seemed nonplussed about orgasm-less sex.
> 
> No way, I say.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. The journey is wonderful ... but a really good story needs a climax, IMHO.


Yes they exist too. But there are a certain group of guys that feel that it is one them for their wife to orgasm all the time. 

That would be nice. But many women are fine with not having an orgasm everytime. They do enjoy the intimacy of sex anyway. These women do have orgasms regulary. I am talking about this scenario.

I am not talking about the guys that are only interested in themselves. I do not think of them because they are foreign to my thinking.


----------



## Entropy3000

always_alone said:


> It's no doubt true that women are far better equipped to conceal our arousal, but what we do have to contend with is growing breasts, which is basically like hanging a bulls-eye on your chest for every creepy predator, endless leers, rude comments, random grabs, and shaming comments.
> 
> A different kind of embarrassment.


Yes. I am aware.


----------



## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I wasn't referring to you specifically, just the huge contradiction of voices. The commonly leveled complaint is that such focus creates pressure to orgasm that makes orgasm more difficult. Then you hear women like you complain that men are so indifferent. Those sorts of contradictory choruses are maddening to someone like me. lol
> 
> Entropy even mentioned orgasm seeking as an ego thing, and I agree to a degree. Do you think the indifferent guys are without ego?


I think you know what I meant. So we are good. Also, a man is not a man without that ego. But I concede that for some guys it is a power trip. More about them and less about her.

Nothing wrong with confidence and helping your woman to orgasm. But does a man really "give" an orgasm to a woman? LOL. Perhaps in some ways but I think this has to do with two people. At least what I am talking about.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I have no interest in being all things. I have interest in knowing the most common preferences so I'm not acting blindly.


Point is, if you're playing sex by the odds, you *are* acting blindly. You've no idea what you're getting into and are afraid to talk about it. What good can that possibly do?

Some random thoughts:
When I first had sex with my SO we didn't talk much. I told him at one point in the evening that it was too soon for me, then changed my mind and made that clear with a bit of body language. At the time, we both had a fair bit of pent-up sexual energy, and so were both a bit ravenous, but again communicated through body language, guiding hands, and of course some words. Words, not long boring technical manuals.

Personally, I would assume at the outset that an orgasm (at least one) is on the menu for every session. But by "focus", I don't mean throwing a hissy fit if she's taking "too long", or refusing to listen if she says "you know what, it ain't happening for me", but checking in that what's going on is pleasurable at all times, and that there's actual ramp up happening on both sides, not just one. (eg does that feel good? Or Wanna try this?)

Honestly Dvl's, the way you described sex earlier in this thread (PITA, "fiddling", and "shopping lists") made it all sound like an extremely unpleasant experience. I can't imagine that attempting to communicate with your partner could be worse than that --and you may even find it helps you


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> You've actually read me a bit wrong about "sleeping around" and having ONS. Short lived relationships? Yes, you have that right. But most of the "sleeping around" I did, was actually just my make out buddies. I've described that a few times, but you are mixing that up with me saying that I have nothing against ONS or casual sex. I've had very little casual sex in my life. (Lots of casual mashing, though).


Ah ok... I misunderstood.



Faithful Wife said:


> Highly sexual people (and kinksters as FF pointed out) have no problem stating their needs and wants.
> 
> My H and I had many discussions like..."So what are you into? Really? Wow, tell me more! What else? Mmm....that's sounds fun even though not my thing". And on like this for quite a while, hours sometimes. WITHOUT having sex, yes these discussion are still on the cusp of having sex and are quite sexual in nature...but not like naughty talk, just direct, honest, open communication about preferences and desires.


You might not intend it, but I find the labels highly offensive. I have no problem stating my sexual wants... but I'm still not going to do so 10 minutes into a relationship. Its just weird. I love kink, and introduce it gradually. I have the types of conversations you're referring to way after having sex the first time. If you're at that sexual point with that person to talk about all that, why not just have sex already? You've already decided you're going to have sex with this guy right?



Faithful Wife said:


> But the short relationships and anyone I actually had sex with, yes usually several conversations occurred first. I even started those conversations many times. I'm curious, even nosey. If I'm sizing a guy up to decide if I might actually have sex with him, YES I'm going to initiate conversations with him if he doesn't do it first.
> 
> I'm a highly sexual woman, I believe I've explained that a few times now.


Perplexing. I'd just have sex already. Maybe I don't understand your definition of highly sexual in spite of everything I've read. Perhaps change the quantitative terms "highly" or "very" to something more qualitative. I'd be totally down with a woman initiating such a conversation, but I already know that excessive sexual talk (although not so much in the matter of fact manner I think you describe) is a damn fine way to get a woman to lose interest. I suspect AA syndrome - "Ugh. He just wants sex." Few respond positively to it... its is a major turnoff to the majority of women. I've received a sense of "just like a guy to be talking about sex already." Not a good thing.



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't leave all the sexual stuff up to my partner to figure out in the dark. I want to KNOW where we're going if we have sex. I'm not going to risk having crap sex just because I didn't bother to make sure we were on the same page first.


That's very interesting. Its not that I see anything wrong with it, but I don't think most women are this way. Talking about sex while she's still undecided has been a sure fire way to not have sex in my experience. By the time she's decided, we're having sex. I decided a about a quarter of a second after seeing her.

I don't really know what crap sex is. Even the worst of it is still good imo. I don't think anyone I've been with has ever been displeased. It sounds like you put more effort into making sure sex is just right than I do. I dunno... the fumbly parts are all part of the process imo. On the job training. I get the appeal of playful sex talk and interests, but if I'm to that point... I just have sex already. Holding off after we're both comfortable enough to have sex would just be frustrating to me.

I don't know if I get your definitions, but I certainly wouldn't characterize myself as not highly sexual or kinky. I think those definitions need some refinement.

Its truly amazing how little we relate on. No wonder we're always arguing.


----------



## Anon Pink

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Ah, I'm not kinky now, I'm vanilla? lol... you ladies. I'm gonna go out on a limb that most people don't bust out with their foot fetishes and *creepy dom/sub desires *on first date... hell, 10th date.
> 
> But hey, if you do, I'm fascinated by how that conversation goes down. *I'll play the odds that say talking about nitty gritty sexual details too early in a relationship causes most chicks to wig out and think I'm some kind of sexual deviant, perv, or that I'm only interested in sex.*
> 
> *If you're to the point of talking about that stuff, to my thinking you're already at the point of being comfortable enough with someone to have sex - which is when I *have* sex, not start talking about sex.*
> 
> So did you start this conversation or did your hubby?


I know you directed this post at FF but decided to give you my opinion cause I'm just nice like that. 

Bolded:
1. Creepy? Seriously you find that creepy? You simply don't get it but that's okay. Different strokes for different folks.

2. Probably true. But it is important so be a man and tell her sex is important and talking about sex is just as important. Talking isn't doing.

3. Talking about sex is hard to do for a lot of people. Being confident enough to risk talking about sex shows...confidence, maturity, and a healthy amount of concern that you both are on the same page and ultimately have an excellent experience when it happens.

4. I know I didn't bold 4 things... I am the one who brings up sex and discussions and new things. I wish it was my husband but it's not.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Dvls, I don't really care if you get what I'm saying or not. My terms are mine and other highly sexual people know what they mean. I'm not trying to make you understand anything, you are asking questions. Do what you like with my answers. Or don't.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Yes. This.
> 
> The only person's preferences who matters is the one in bed with you. The rest are irrelevant.


This is the perspective of already having a solid relationship I think - already having someone. I take the perspective of getting someone.

All the meticulous sexual preference talk in advance is fine, and it might result in a great first sexual experience, provided it actually ended in sex at all. It however violates one of the principles I learned - don't lead sexually focused conversations. Comments that create sexual tension, sexual innuendos, even crude comments... these are all in bounds, but detailed sexual conversations or excessively sexual conversations almost always cause a woman to rabbit. So if excessively sex focused conversations usually causes a woman to rabbit, resulting in no sex at all, why on earth would I think it a good idea to have such conversations? To wait for "just right" sex, when I could have been having sex this entire time and making it better and better as I go?

Also, are you all waiting a really long time before these conversations happen? What kind of time frame are we talking about?


----------



## always_alone

Entropy3000 said:


> That would be nice. But many women are fine with not having an orgasm everytime. They do enjoy the intimacy of sex anyway. These women do have orgasms regulary. I am talking about this scenario.


Well, I'm sure it's not my place to say this, but I believe these women need to be shown the light.

This is not to say it's all on the man to make this happen, as she has to want it and be willing to work for it. But he could surely help.


----------



## Created2Write

A thought from me: DH and I had a few conversations about sex before having it. As I was a virgin, I really had no idea what I was into, but I knew there were some things I wasn't open to, like anal and porn. As for what I liked, I didn't really know. And at the time DH had told me he was a virgin to(even though he wasn't), but he'd had OS before, so he didn't say much about what he liked either. When we had actual intercourse, it was a very emotional as well as physical experience, and I think we focused on _us_, as opposed to just one of us. 

After the first time, though, we _did_ start having sexual conversations, and that's when my need for verbal admiration and connection really became apparent to me. I can get so, so aroused just through talking about sex, and that includes likes and dislikes, personal tastes, turn ons and turn offs, fantasies, etc. The beginning of our sexual relationship are the steamiest memories I have because the sexual tension rippled into every aspect of our lives. 

If I had to approach a new relationship with a new potential sexual partner, I would revile in sexual discussion. Talking about ones likes and dislikes, and getting to know an individuals sexual nature, doesn't have to be tedious and boring. If a guy made it like an interrogation to find out what I was into, then yeah, you bet I'd be turned off. If he looked at it as an inconvenience to his immediate sexual pleasure, then yeah, I'd be turned off. But if he was creative and flirty with it, my initial reaction wouldn't be "he's only interested in sex", my initial reaction would be, "he's only interested in sex _with me_", a much more appealing first impression. 

I like for my mind, my imagination, to be totally mindf*cked before any PIV or OS takes place. I'm a writer, my imagination is powerful. But, that's just me.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Also, are you all waiting a really long time before these conversations happen? What kind of time frame are we talking about?


Read my other post for my thoughts on those questions.


----------



## Faithful Wife

always_alone said:


> Well, I'm sure it's not my place to say this, but I believe these women need to be shown the light.
> 
> This is not to say it's all on the man to make this happen, as she has to want it and be willing to work for it. But he could surely help.


I disagree with this, but only on a technicality.

Some women don't want or need an O with every sex experience and also, some MEN don't want or need an O with every sex experience. For some, the O is not the pinnacle of sex. It is a matter of preference. So to say these women need to be shown the light isn't correct. Some of these women (and men) simply choose to focus on other amazing aspects and feelings during sex than reaching an O.


----------



## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> I disagree with this, but only on a technicality.
> 
> Some women don't want or need an O with every sex experience and also, some MEN don't want or need an O with every sex experience. For some, the O is not the pinnacle of sex. It is a matter of preference. So to say these women need to be shown the light isn't correct. Some of these women (and men) simply choose to focus on other amazing aspects and feelings during sex than reaching an O.


I'm this way. I don't need an orgasm every time to have a very satisfying, fulfilling, sexual experience. Sometimes DH and I just get into this mood where there's very little foreplay, if any, and we dive right in. I may or may not orgasm from PIV, it's not a guarantee every time, but in these moments, I'm not focusing on an orgasm. I'm focusing on fun...I'm focusing on how great my husband feels...I'm focusing on positions we don't usually try...sometimes we're in a risky place where we could get in trouble if caught, so I'm focusing on the risk and the heightened pleasure there...A lot of things play into the times when I don't really need, or even want, an orgasm. They're not overly common, but they're not dull, lustless, unsatisfying sexual trysts. Just different.


----------



## always_alone

Faithful Wife said:


> I disagree with this, but only on a technicality.
> 
> Some women don't want or need an O with every sex experience and also, some MEN don't want or need an O with every sex experience. For some, the O is not the pinnacle of sex. It is a matter of preference. So to say these women need to be shown the light isn't correct. Some of these women (and men) simply choose to focus on other amazing aspects and feelings during sex than reaching an O.


Point taken. Tantric would be a good example, I think.

My original statement came more from the perspective that all too often women have been sold this idea that their orgasm isn't important, or have been shamed so severely for their sexuality that they have trouble enjoying it.


----------



## Faithful Wife

One of my highly sexual female friends had a boyfriend once (I actually set them up so I knew him, too) who she said was her best sex partner ever. She said that he did a lot of personal sexual tantric practice, and part of his practice was to not have an O with every sex or MB encounter...he only allowed himself an O every 3rd or 5th encounter. Granted, they were highly sexual so the 3rd or 5th encounter could still happen within a span of a couple of days, but the point being, he claims his sexual prowess is due, in part, to his special tantric practices.

That's just one example of sex without O by choice.


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> Point taken. Tantric would be a good example, I think.
> 
> My original statement came more from the perspective that all too often women have been sold this idea that their orgasm isn't important, or have been shamed so severely for their sexuality that they have trouble enjoying it.


This is definitely a different kind of situation than mine. Some religious sects actually punish women who enjoy sex, even if married and faithful.


----------



## always_alone

Created2Write said:


> .A lot of things play into the times when I don't really need, or even want, an orgasm. They're not overly common, but they're not dull, lustless, unsatisfying sexual trysts. Just different.


I'm greedier than you are, I think. I always want one. At least.

Yep, greedy!


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> I'm greedier than you are, I think.


Haha. Don't get me wrong, if DH and I aren't in "one of those moods", you'd better believe I want, and need, my O. Usually, two. Otherwise I get irritated. I don't like making out and getting aroused, and then not having my wonder era fondled in some way. I've told DH that, unless I specify no MS or OS, he'd better do one or the other. If he gets his, I should get mine. He enjoys giving OS, so it's not an issue, thankfully.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Dvls, I don't really care if you get what I'm saying or not. My terms are mine and other highly sexual people know what they mean. I'm not trying to make you understand anything, you are asking questions. Do what you like with my answers. Or don't.


I don't see why you're all dismissive. Is anything I've said unfair or antagonistic? I've intended no such thing.

I'm asking questions because I don't get you. This is what a forum is for, no?

There's that familiar back hand, "other highly sexual people know what they mean". You're anything if not predictable. So I'm not in your highly sexual club. :'( So its clearly not about sexual frequency... its not about how many partners... its not about how much you want to have sex... its not about how kinky sex is... I'm kinda left wondering what it actually means and I don't think I'm being unfair. Its about talking? How about highly sex-talkative people, or highly fantasy-sharing people?

Genuine curiosity here... if someone is deathly embarrassed to talk about sex, but is a total sexual freak, are they highly sexual? I really don't understand, because when I see you trot it out, its more a matter of your own personal subjective stamp of approval certification, not an actual set of objective standards. Do I have that about right?

Wait, I have one definitive standard - knowing the definition of "highly sexual", even though it doesn't apparently have to do with frequency, desire, multiple, or kink. Highly sensual person perhaps? Grasping at straws.

I was initially hoping we could have a decent conversation for once... but you throw out those backhands, then I mock you, then you mock me, we quibble back and forth, do the hoki-poki and we turn ourselves around... and that's what its all about. 

Unfortunate. Your "Highly sexual people" talk about sex before deciding whether to actually have sex. Ok. My "highly sexual people" were already having sex. No wonder I can't understand you.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> That's just one example of sex without O by choice.


Thank you for the example. 

This sounds absolutely terrible to me. O every 3rd or 5th time? OMG! That would suck, 2 out of 3 or 4 out of 5 times!! 

If my girl doesn't O, I'm going to say this... "its tantric practice". I'm going to edge you and deny you orgasm 4 times straight. Uh... no I'm not, I don't want my throat slashed after the second occurrence!


----------



## Faithful Wife

Sure Dvls....however you want to define highly sexual for yourself is great, go for it. Notice that I have no desire to understand your way? Not sure why you even care about mine since you are so befuddled by it.

And yes, it is not surprising that tantric practices sound absolutely terrible to you. I get that.


----------



## Created2Write

Butting in: I think by "highly sexual people", FW only means "someone who knows what they want, what they like, and aren't afraid to say it." I think it's a mistake to assume that that has "nothing" to do with frequency, desire, how much one has sex and how much one thinks about sex. Obviously someone who doesn't want sex, doesn't like sex, and doesn't have sex, isn't going to be sexual at all, let alone highly sexual. 

Knowing one's sexual desires, including fantasies and fetishes, and being open and confident and willing to discuss them with someone, is "highly sexual" in my opinion. You risk being judged, rejected, made fun of...Someone who can look in the face of those possibilities and still own their unique sexuality is a highly sexual person, imo. Satisfying sex is clearly more important than acceptance or number of partners. 

If this is what FW meant, I don't know. But I had to offer my two cents.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Thank you for the example.
> 
> This sounds absolutely terrible to me. O every 3rd or 5th time? OMG! That would suck, 2 out of 3 or 4 out of 5 times!!
> 
> If my girl doesn't O, I'm going to say this... "its tantric practice". I'm going to edge you and deny you orgasm 4 times straight. Uh... no I'm not, I don't want my throat slashed after the second occurrence!


If you read the example, the man _chose_ that, it wasn't forced on him. His gf didn't dictate, "You shall only orgasm once out of every five times". 

It might help you understand FW's perspectives a bit more if you actually...ya know...read her posts.


----------



## Faithful Wife

I'm really fine if Dvls never understands this stuff, ya know? I have no investment in the outcome of these discussions.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Point is, if you're playing sex by the odds, you *are* acting blindly. You've no idea what you're getting into and are afraid to talk about it. What good can that possibly do?


hmm... apparently a lot. Reviews have been good.



always_alone said:


> When I first had sex with my SO we didn't talk much. I told him at one point in the evening that it was too soon for me, then changed my mind and made that clear with a bit of body language. At the time, we both had a fair bit of pent-up sexual energy, and so were both a bit ravenous, but again communicated through body language, guiding hands, and of course some words. Words, not long boring technical manuals.


I'm down with the body language and unspoken communication. Details come later. I don't think one way or another makes anyone more sexual or less sexual than anyone else. That's just so judgmental imo.



always_alone said:


> Personally, I would assume at the outset that an orgasm (at least one) is on the menu for every session. But by "focus", I don't mean throwing a hissy fit if she's taking "too long", or refusing to listen if she says "you know what, it ain't happening for me", but checking in that what's going on is pleasurable at all times, and that there's actual ramp up happening on both sides, not just one. (eg does that feel good? Or Wanna try this?)


You know, I thought that exact same thing until I heard a couple women dismiss the importance of their own O. I'm of the opinion that an O is par for the course. For many women, its not and they don't care for it to be. I can't explain what I don't understand myself.

The rest of your paragraph doesn't remotely apply to me. Hissy fits make no sense to me... I'm getting laid. Woo hoo, what's to throw a fit about? She takes how long she takes, and I give how long I give. That's kinda the point behind my post that started this discussion - virtually every guy knows the feeling of having to hold back his own orgasm so she has more time... and it kinda sucks. 

I count myself extremely fortunate that most of my longer relationships have been with women who tend to orgasm at the same time as I do... or their orgasm triggers mine. I absolutely hate the feeling of holding back my orgasm to get hers in cases that precluded pre-PIV orgasms. I hold off and she gets hers, and it still kinda sucks. I don't hold off and she doesn't get hers, now I feel guilty or underperforming and it kinda sucks. That potential lose-lose scenario is the primary reason I'm so foreplay focused.



always_alone said:


> Honestly Dvl's, the way you described sex earlier in this thread (PITA, "fiddling", and "shopping lists") made it all sound like an extremely unpleasant experience. I can't imagine that attempting to communicate with your partner could be worse than that --and you may even find it helps you


If I had to fiddle with her after my orgasm and PIV exhaustion... damn right it would be an extremely unpleasant experience. If she's thinking about shopping lists or whether she left the garage door open, yeah, that's probably going to be an unpleasant experience too no? Yet women say these things go through their mind during sex. I've even read it on this forum.

Don't get the wrong idea, sex is awesome. But trying not to enjoy yourself too much when you've reached critical mass and she hasn't sucks. Its all kinds of bad, and if you go before she does, now you also potentially face judgment or your own feelings of failure. I think it would be insightful for women to experience it if they were a guy for a day.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> If you read the example, the man _chose_ that, it wasn't forced on him. His gf didn't dictate, "You shall only orgasm once out of every five times".
> 
> It might help you understand FW's perspectives a bit more if you actually...ya know...read her posts.


I actually... ya know... read her post, thanks.

I didn't say it was forced on him. I said I think having an orgasm only 1 out of 5 times would absolutely suck. I don't care if he chooses it, I still think it would suck. lol

Some people like to hang from hooks into their flesh. They're not forced to. I think that would pretty much suck too.


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> You know, when you talk about women, I almost start wondering if I really am one. I so cannot relate to *anything* you say about us.


Same here!



> And so what, you pop off before her. So take some time to get her there afterward.


QFT!! My husband has done this before, given me OS or a HJ after sex, if we didn't do it beforehand.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I actually... ya know... read her post, thanks.
> 
> I didn't say it was forced on him. I said I think having an orgasm only 1 out of 5 times would absolutely suck. I don't care if he chooses it, I still think it would suck. lol
> 
> Some people like to hang from hooks into their flesh. They're not forced to. I think that would pretty much suck too.


You made an example of forcing your gf to only orgasm 1 out of every 5 times. It sounded like you thought the gf in FW's example forced her bf to go without an orgasm 4 out of every 5 times. 

I do not get your communication style whatsoever.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> The rest of your paragraph doesn't remotely apply to me. Hissy fits make no sense to me... I'm getting laid. Woo hoo, what's to throw a fit about? She takes how long she takes, and I give how long I give. That's kinda the point behind my post that started this discussion - virtually every guy knows the feeling of having to hold back his own orgasm so she has more time... and it kinda sucks.


For the record, whining about the amount of effort you have to put into foreplay, how awful it is to have to hold off orgasm, and outright refusing to consider her needs once yours have been met is very much like throwing a hissy fit, where it's all about you getting your woo-hoo and not giving a rat's a$$ about hers.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> Butting in: I think by "highly sexual people", FW only means "someone who knows what they want, what they like, and aren't afraid to say it."


So, not being afraid to say "I like missionary sex only, once a month exactly" is highly sexual?

She's judged me to not be highly sexual because I don't understand her definition. Definitions are sexual? Tell me you honestly don't actually see this as just a backhand?



always_alone said:


> Knowing one's sexual desires, including fantasies and fetishes, and being open and confident and willing to discuss them with someone, is "highly sexual" in my opinion. You risk being judged, rejected, made fun of...Someone who can look in the face of those possibilities and still own their unique sexuality is a highly sexual person, imo. Satisfying sex is clearly more important than acceptance or number of partners.


Great definition, but wouldn't that more appropriately be termed "open and confident" person, as you used? Even then I'm wondering...is someone not open and confident if they don't reveal those things until later in a relationship? Do I really have to tell you about my panty sniffing fetish on date 3 to qualify as "open and confident"?

Thank you for your 2 cents.

When I think highly sexual... I just think of someone how has a lot of sex. It could all be missionary if that's what they want. They may talk about it, they may not. They may have it all with one person or 20 people. What I don't really get is the idea of highly sexual people NOT having sex... big long delays before having sex while ironing out all the details and preference. To my thinking, highly sexual people would get right down to business. Taking your time, being cautious, planning... etc... these are prudent people maybe, but who's more sexual, the person who just can't wait to have sex and gets right to it, or the person who can stand a long delay?

That's my 2 cents. I didn't really mean to talk about her VSPs anyway. I got distracted haha.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Also, one reason tantric practices are used for men is so that a man can increase his ability to hold off. This is a learned practice, and over time it helps a man not just pop off in an instant or have to fight themselves not to pop off. Whining about how difficult it is to hold back just shows that a person hasn't learned enough about their own body and what it is capable of. My H can go for hours, or he can go for one minute. This is because he has practiced his abilities so that he can then CHOOSE when he goes or doesn't go, which is required for many of the types of sex acts we have.


----------



## FrenchFry

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Ah, I'm not kinky now, I'm vanilla? lol... you ladies. I'm gonna go out on a limb that most people don't bust out with their foot fetishes and creepy dom/sub desires on first date... hell, 10th date.


I'm not putting a label on you. I consider myself vanilla. However, I'm not unaware of how practitioners of BDSM operarate: munches, websites, signals.

Yeah, these people tend to talk about their fetishes even before the first date. Doms negotiate with subs before their first scene so they can have a safeword before they start the flogging. People who like to be vaccumed into rubber bags pretty much need to figure out a symbol and a limit before they jump in and get to sucking.

The conversations are interesting. Sometimes they are sterile, sometimes they are hot, sometimes they are awkward--but they happen a lot. Go to a munch and ask questions.



> I'll play the odds that say talking about nitty gritty sexual details too early in a relationship causes most chicks to wig out and think I'm some kind of sexual deviant, perv, or that I'm only interested in sex.


If you aren't looking for a one night stand, this probably isn't a first night conversation. Or it can be, and it could be lots of fun.



> If you're to the point of talking about that stuff, to my thinking you're already at the point of being comfortable enough with someone to have sex - which is when I *have* sex, not start talking about sex.


I have this picture in my head, which I know is incorrect, of you on dates talking about fly fishing, investment strategies and Game of Thrones then all the sudden pouncing on your date because you are comfortable. :rofl:




> So did you start this conversation or did your hubby?


He totally did because I wasn't used to having these kind of negotiations. 

To roll that into the previous quote: we'd been on a few dates by that point, we had decided on exclusivity and we'd had a few awesome ass makeout sessions and sleepovers. All my husband did, which was so brilliant, was take a step back from the inevitable and ask what I liked before it went down. I had gotten hints and clues as to what he like, but to have a map laid out beforehand was bonding and mature.

It was a little awkward but it wasn't like the conversation was going to stop me from having sex with him. It was also insanely hot to be talking in the middle of the day, eating ice cream, about what we were going to be doing later on. 

And after, when I was laying in his bed trying my hardest not to tell him I loved him--totally worth the little bit of awkwardness.

It's not that all I thought he was after was sex. Maybe if he did it on the first date, maybe. But we were talking about sex on our second date before we had even kissed. No, it was just him discussing the inevitable.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That's kinda the point behind my post that started this discussion - virtually every guy knows the feeling of having to hold back his own orgasm so she has more time... and it kinda sucks.


This sounds so selfish to me. My husband loves BJ's. After only a few minutes of one, my entire face _hurts_, as in aches and even cramps up, especially if I'm really trying to make it a _good_ BJ. But it "doesn't suck" that I have to go through that so he can experience a lot of pleasure. I really can't imagine being inside your partner, and being on the edge of an orgasm "sucking" just because your partner isn't "there" yet. 

I can't even relate in my sexual experience. My husband has been on the edge of an orgasm and told me to slow down because he wasn't done...he wanted me to have a vaginal orgasm first. I do not get it. I don't really want to, frankly.



> If I had to fiddle with her after my orgasm and PIV exhaustion... damn right it would be an extremely unpleasant experience.


I don't get this either. My husband has done this before, and he enjoyed it. We were in the mood to get down and didn't really focus on foreplay before PIV, but during PIV I became very aroused, didn't orgasm vaginally, so afterward, he made sure I got an orgasm. He offered it, he enjoyed doing it, and I enjoyed getting it. Why does it have to be an unpleasant experience for sex to be about _both_ people, before, during and after?

I like cuddling after sex sometimes. I'm already feeling close to him, intimate, happy...anything else after that that adds to those things is going to make the overall experience the ultimate sexual encounter.



> If she's thinking about shopping lists or whether she left the garage door open, yeah, that's probably going to be an unpleasant experience too no? Yet women say these things go through their mind during sex. I've even read it on this forum.


I don't relate to this either. If I'm turned on and aroused, nothing but sexual thoughts go through my mind. 



> Don't get the wrong idea, sex is awesome. But trying not to enjoy yourself too much when you've reached critical mass and she hasn't sucks. Its all kinds of bad, and if you go before she does, now you also potentially face judgment or your own feelings of failure. I think it would be insightful for women to experience it if they were a guy for a day.


I'm glad my experiences with my husband have been contrary to this, because the amount of pressure this places on both people is ridiculous. You're unwilling to pleasure your partner after sex because it would somehow interfere with your pleasure(how the hell can eating a sandwhich even compare to giving your partner OS?), which means she _has_ to orgasm either before PIV or during, which really isn't always possible. This puts you, her, and the sexual encounter into a box, and pretty much leaves her sexual pleasure up to chance.


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> For the record, whining about the amount of effort you have to put into foreplay, how awful it is to have to hold off orgasm, and outright refusing to consider her needs once yours have been met is very much like throwing a hissy fit, where it's all about you getting your woo-hoo and not giving a rat's a$$ about hers.


This is also how it seems to me.


----------



## FrenchFry

Oh, I missed all the after sex getting an orgasm talk.

My husband loves this. If that makes him weird, I'm going to take it.

It's pretty awesome, I recommend it. Ladies, if your man is all tired, they have chairs (First pic is safe, last is probably NSFW) to rectify the situation :smthumbup:


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> For the record, whining about the amount of effort you have to put into foreplay, how awful it is to have to hold off orgasm, and outright refusing to consider her needs once yours have been met is very much like throwing a hissy fit, where it's all about you getting your woo-hoo and not giving a rat's a$$ about hers.


1) point out where I whine about foreplay? I love foreplay. I absolutely love making a woman shudder with my head between her legs. Its about the most gratifying thing I can think of.

2) it is awful to hold off orgasm... sex is fun right, would you enjoy trying to NOT enjoy something? See, you can't even relate. Exactly why I think it would be awesome for women to experience it.

3) I outright refuse to consider her needs after PIV. I'm effing exhausted. That's no hissy fit, its downright practical necessity. If she's cool with giving me time to relax and cool down.. awesome... which is what I referred to as a second session. As one session... absolutely not. I'm tired.

4) Do I need to mention again that I'm crazy about getting her off before PIV in order avoid this scenario in the first place? Don't put your issues on me and tell me I don't give a rats @ss about sh*t. I want to get her off. I get as much a rush out of it as she does. I f'ing consider going down on a woman a standalone sex act and do so completely unsolicited or attached to anything I get. So don't tell me I don't care. Even if she didn't get off, I still like eating p*ssy. The scenario I describe occurs when SHE eliminates foreplay, or pre-PIV orgasm is not feasible. That nook downtown that I got busy with my girl in last week after leaving the club for example - virtually no foreplay... doggy from the start with a hand reaching around. She was feeling mighty good but I reach my point first. Begin hold-off. From this point forward, sex pretty much sucks... but I'm doing my duty... I've got it down to last as long as I care to, and a good few minutes later she gets hers, I've all but mentally disabled mine and I get a significantly less satifisfying orgasm shortly thereafter. No bones about it... its kinda sucky.

I think if women were men for a day, they should experience this, certainly if she's the type to bish about him popping early. You should know just how much it stucks to have to O, and then force yourself not to. That's all. Its a uniquely male experience.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> So, not being afraid to say "I like missionary sex only, once a month exactly" is highly sexual?
> 
> She's judged me to not be highly sexual because I don't understand her definition. Definitions are sexual? Tell me you honestly don't actually see this as just a backhand?


I clarified this later in my post. My whole point is that her definition of highly sexual isn't necessarily a stab at you, and certainly not because you don't understand her definition. I would call you a sexual person because you place a high value on sex. I wouldn't call you "highly" sexual because there are many aspects of sex, especially as regards female sexuality, that you do not understand, and often it sounds like you don't _want_ to understand. 



> Great definition, but wouldn't that more appropriately be termed "open and confident" person, as you used? Even then I'm wondering...is someone not open and confident if they don't reveal those things until later in a relationship? Do I really have to tell you about my panty sniffing fetish on date 3 to qualify as "open and confident"?


I think the openness and confidence are essential to being a highly sexual person, so no, I don't think those are more appropriate terms. If someone's behavior fits under the definition of cautious and timid, how can I call them anything but cautious and timid? No, I don't think you, or anyone, needs to say, "I like sniffing panties" right away, and certainly not in such a brash, unattractive way. But there are other flirty ways to discuss fetishes that don't make them out to be creepy or strange, and that won't scare the woman off. But you'd have to be willing to even learn how to operate on that level for it to work for you. 



> Thank you for your 2 cents.
> 
> When I think highly sexual... I just think of someone how has a lot of sex. It could all be missionary if that's what they want. They may talk about it, they may not. They may have it all with one person or 20 people. What I don't really get is the idea of highly sexual people NOT having sex... big long delays before having sex while ironing out all the details and preference. To my thinking, highly sexual people would get right down to business. Taking your time, being cautious, planning... etc... these are prudent people maybe, but who's more sexual, the person who just can't wait to have sex and gets right to it, or the person who can stand a long delay?


You're taking things out of context and making grand assumptions. Having a lot of sex is one aspect to being a sexual person, but it doesn't make someone "highly" sexual. And it's not about "delaying" things. You're putting words in FW's mouth. Anyone can jump into the sack with someone and have sex. That's not being highly sexual imo. The "delay", as you called it, isn't about caution or planning, it's about adding an uncommon level to a potentially new sexual relationship. 

Like I said before, I'm a writer, so words are extremely important to me. I thrive off of _hearing_ and _reading_ what my husband thinks of me. Sexually, words are some of the strongest initiators of my arousal. So, if a man really wants to get me into bed, it *must* start with words. Flirting, yes. Admiration, yes. Even flattery, yeah. But sexual discussion is a guaranteed flame ignition when done the right way.

It's not about delaying to be careful, or delaying so you can plan out what you're going to do...it's about adding sexual tension beyond just the physical or superficial. The physical lust and sexual desire is unbelievably common in sexual encounters. It's nothing new or extraordinary. Taking the time to get to know the individual one is wanting to copulate with by discussing fantasies, fetishes, likes and dislikes, and using that as a platform to build an extra layer of sexual tension, is what I call highly sexual. It's not just about the immediate sexual pleasure, it's bout making the immediate sexual pleasure as wonderful as possible *for both people*. 

For the record, I don't personally see someone who only wants/has sex once a month as a highly sexual person, but it's not just for the lack of frequency/desire. I doubt that someone who wanted sex so little would even be willing to have a discussion about sexual fetishes and fantasies so early into a potential sexual relationship. 

Like I said, I want to be mindf*cked before I'm f*cked. A man who can make that happen is highly sexual in my mind. Something I'm working on with DH.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, one reason tantric practices are used for men is so that a man can increase his ability to hold off. This is a learned practice, and over time it helps a man not just pop off in an instant or have to fight themselves not to pop off. Whining about how difficult it is to hold back just shows that a person hasn't learned enough about their own body and what it is capable of. My H can go for hours, or he can go for one minute. This is because he has practiced his abilities so that he can then CHOOSE when he goes or doesn't go, which is required for many of the types of sex acts we have.


I didn't say its difficult. I said it sucks. Its not difficult. I can go for about 2 hours, or I can go in 5-10 minutes. It sucks and is dissatisfying to be ready and force youself not to... or to mentally regulate the pleasure you're willing to accept in order to not feel too good.

Your husband doesn't have some special ability honed from years of sexual monk training in the mountains. Virtually all guys are easily capable of suppressing their orgasm or mentally numbing out until its the right time to go. I had it down before I was 20. Whether you're ready to go and suppress, or you numb out enough to avoid reaching critical mass, it still sucks.

Its not about practice, talent or ability, its about sensation... quality of feeling. Its about the manner in which it is deliberately pleasure depriving and we are expected to deprive/deny ourselves in this way to be thought good lovers. If you're going to be male for a day, its an important experience that is uniquely male.


----------



## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, one reason tantric practices are used for men is so that a man can increase his ability to hold off. This is a learned practice, and over time it helps a man not just pop off in an instant or have to fight themselves not to pop off. Whining about how difficult it is to hold back just shows that a person hasn't learned enough about their own body and what it is capable of. My H can go for hours, or he can go for one minute. This is because he has practiced his abilities so that he can then CHOOSE when he goes or doesn't go, which is required for many of the types of sex acts we have.


I agree!!


----------



## Faithful Wife




----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> 3) I outright refuse to consider her needs after PIV.


Oh yeah. That sounds just like a man who _wants_ his partner to get off...well, as long as she does so within the parameters _you_ set, then I guess it's true.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> You made an example of forcing your gf to only orgasm 1 out of every 5 times. It sounded like you thought the gf in FW's example forced her bf to go without an orgasm 4 out of every 5 times.
> 
> I do not get your communication style whatsoever.


Unfortunately I don't have tone of voice, facial expression and hand gestures at my disposal. It was a joke about how frustrating it can be to edge and not orgasm.


----------



## Created2Write

So...being at a point where you _could_ orgasm...but you hold back because your partner hasn't orgasmed yet..."sucks"...because you're withholding pleasure from yourself...even though you can go for hours at a time and it's not difficult...but it still sucks because you're not getting your pleasure...even though you *will[/i] get it eventually...and your sacrifice is supposed to be in an effort to please your partner...who may or may not get her pleasure from all of this...

Yeah....it sounds like a drag. *


----------



## ocotillo

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, one reason tantric practices are used for men is so that a man can increase his ability to hold off. This is a learned practice, and over time it helps a man not just pop off in an instant or have to fight themselves not to pop off. Whining about how difficult it is to hold back just shows that a person hasn't learned enough about their own body and what it is capable of. My H can go for hours, or he can go for one minute. This is because he has practiced his abilities so that he can then CHOOSE when he goes or doesn't go, which is required for many of the types of sex acts we have.


--Sigh..


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> Oh yeah. That sounds just like a man who _wants_ his partner to get off...well, as long as she does so within the parameters _you_ set, then I guess it's true.


Wah. I'm exhausted. Spent. Done. Overheating. F anyone who would makes demands of me in that condition. THAT is selfish. She can wait and start round two later if she wants more. For the time being, this shop is closed.

But yeah, anyone I have sex with has sex in the parameters I set - that's true for everyone in fact. Its called personal preference. Its pretty cool. If she doesn't like it, she can find someone else. If I don't like that she won't suck c*ck, I'm for damn sure going to find someone else. See how that works? Isn't that neat?


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## Faithful Wife

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Your husband doesn't have some special ability honed from years of sexual monk training in the mountains.


Actually, yes he is.


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## FrenchFry

And he's sworn to secrecy about the name and location. I hear it's somewhere in Outer Mongolia!


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## Created2Write

It _is_ neat. I'd never have sex with a man who controlled or tried to control when I did or didn't orgasm. No man is that special or important. I've never demanded that my husband give me OS after PIV. You like putting words in people's mouths, and using hyperbolic examples to illustrate your points. He's been the one to offer it. And sometimes he even stops in the middle of PIV to give me an orgasm, of his own free will. *gasp* The horror!


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Actually, yes he is.


:lol:

Gotta admit, its cool that you speak so highly of him... and a little creepy. I always see the overly attached gf meme when you say these things. But let me assure you, we pretty much all figure out how to control our orgasms. Its still self-depriving and kinda sucky to do so.


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## Faithful Wife

FrenchFry said:


> And he's sworn to secrecy about the name and location. I hear it's somewhere in Outer Mongolia!


It is actually far more adventurous and exciting than that. People wouldn't even believe me if I did talk about it! That's why I don't bother.


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## Created2Write

It's self-depriving and sucky to control one's orgasms so their partner can have a satisfying sexual experience?

Wow. I don't ever want to be a guy, then.


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## Faithful Wife

And do you want to know what meme makes me think of YOU, Dvls? No? Didn't think so. Not sure why you think your petty insults make any difference to me. I know mine don't to you.


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## Created2Write

Faithful Wife said:


> It is actually far more adventurous and exciting than that. People wouldn't even believe me if I did talk about it! That's why I don't bother.


It sounds awesome!!  And as long as it didn't involve flying monkeys, Godzilla, or zombies, I'd believe you.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> So...being at a point where you _could_ orgasm...but you hold back because your partner hasn't orgasmed yet..."sucks"...because you're withholding pleasure from yourself...even though you can go for hours at a time and it's not difficult...but it still sucks because you're not getting your pleasure...even though you *will[/i] get it eventually...and your sacrifice is supposed to be in an effort to please your partner...who may or may not get her pleasure from all of this...
> 
> Yeah....it sounds like a drag. *


*

Exactly my point. You can't relate. You'd have to be a man to have any idea what I'm talking about. The idea of avoiding orgasm is completely foreign to women. Half of y'all have to really focus and get in the zone to have one at all.

All the ways in which we change sensation or adjust focus, in order to prolong sex beyond the point were we would naturally orgasm, all produce a lesser orgasm and overall sexual experience. Its not as much fun if you're denying yourself. Believe me, don't believe me, its something I think women should experience in their "day as a guy."*


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## doubletrouble

So if I were a man for a day... Oh wait, I already am. 

I love talking about sex, what turns W on and such. She, not so much. It's a little embarrasing for her, although for whatever reason, it didn't use to be. Like when she was having her affair, she was hot hot hot all the time. Hmmm ...

But I digress (I do that a lot). Foreplay and afterplay are both intrinsic parts of great sex, for both partners. Every woman I've been with, with two exceptions (who had CSA), love to receive oral. How did I know those two didn't like oral? Asked, with a smile, said something like "I would *so *love to go down on you right now." That's sex talk. Those women said they weren't comfortable with that. But they were both OK with doing me orally. OK.... We talked about it.

I'd say about 10% of the women I've been with love anal sex. Hmmm, you don't just slip it in the back door without asking, so there must have been talk about it at some point. 

And I, for one, don't dive on a muff without being comfortable and familiar in an intimate way, with the woman. That requires some conversation, too (and it's not first date stuff!). 

It's not formal, it's not a checklist, it's just sex talk. No big deal. But it's sure good to know. In for a penny, in for a pound(ing) (lol). I want to know what she wants, likes, hates, etc. 

And then I give it all I got, in those areas.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> It's self-depriving and sucky to control one's orgasms so their partner can have a satisfying sexual experience?
> 
> Wow. I don't ever want to be a guy, then.


I'll take it over having periods, mood swings and random bouts of crying... and god forbid someone try to pick me up at the gas station. 

Don't get me wrong... I'd never want to be a woman. lol


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## Created2Write

I really don't believe you. Everything I've read about how to intensify a man's orgasm involves prolonging it...getting to the place of nearly orgasming, and then coming back down from that and continuing on as before...to do that many different times during intercourse. This not only helps the man learn how to last longer, but also helps him have the strongest, most mind-blowing orgasms. When I've tried this with DH he has always rated those orgasms as being stronger, more intense, and having more satisfying builds than when we start and finish quickly. 

My guess is that this leaves you feeling unsatisfied because of the attitude you bring to the sexual table.


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## FrenchFry

Erotic sexual denial - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia<wikipedia link, totally safe.

This is mostly done to women.

I'm vanilla, I swear.


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## doubletrouble

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> :lol:
> 
> Gotta admit, its cool that you speak so highly of him... and a little creepy. I always see the overly attached gf meme when you say these things. But let me assure you, we pretty much all figure out how to control our orgasms. Its still self-depriving and kinda sucky to do so.





Created2Write said:


> It's self-depriving and sucky to control one's orgasms so their partner can have a satisfying sexual experience?
> 
> Wow. I don't ever want to be a guy, then.


Hold on there, cowgirl!

This guy isn't reflecting all men, as you can tell. 

And I think all men are glad you're not one


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## ocotillo

Created2Write said:


> It's self-depriving and sucky to control one's orgasms so their partner can have a satisfying sexual experience?
> 
> Wow. I don't ever want to be a guy, then.


I wouldn't use the word, "Sucky." --Not in a committed relationship anyway. Generally speaking, the more satisfying it is for your partner, the more she will want to do it. And so the sacrifice is well worth it. 

Neurologically, the bodily function most closely related to male orgasm is a sneeze.

There's a tipping point with a sneeze, beyond which, your control is gone. It just happens. Anyone who doubts this has only to snort a little ground black pepper 

There are ways around this and one of the most effective is simply not to snort so much pepper at a time. (Metaphorically speaking of course.)


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## doubletrouble

FrenchFry said:


> And he's sworn to secrecy about the name and location. I hear it's somewhere in Outer Mongolia!


It's actually western Montana, but I'll deny i ever said that if you hold me to it.


----------



## FrenchFry

:rofl:

shhh, you have to throw people off the trail!


----------



## doubletrouble

Faithful Wife said:


> It is actually far more adventurous and exciting than that. People wouldn't even believe me if I did talk about it! That's why I don't bother.


Wait, what? PM me then dammit!

I'll NEVER learn too much!


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## Created2Write

doubletrouble said:


> Hold on there, cowgirl!
> 
> This guy isn't reflecting all men, as you can tell.
> 
> And I think all men are glad you're not one


LOL. Thanks double.


----------



## TiggyBlue

FrenchFry said:


> Erotic sexual denial - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia<wikipedia link, totally safe.
> 
> This is mostly done to women.
> 
> I'm vanilla, I swear.


I stopped seeing you as vanilla the moment I found out you twerk in grocery stores


----------



## Faithful Wife

doubletrouble said:


> Wait, what? PM me then dammit!
> 
> I'll NEVER learn too much!


Can't, but tell ya what...if we open our own Sex God School, I'll let you know.


----------



## Created2Write

ocotillo said:


> I wouldn't use the word, "Sucky." --Not in a committed relationship anyway. Generally speaking, the more satisfying it is for your partner, the more she will want to do it. And so the sacrifice is well worth it.
> 
> Neurologically, the bodily function most closely related to male orgasm is a sneeze.
> 
> There's a tipping point with a sneeze, beyond which, your control is gone. It just happens. Anyone who doubts this has only to snort a little ground black pepper
> 
> There are ways around this and one of the most effective is simply not to snort so much pepper at a time. (Metaphorically speaking of course.)


I get the comparison you're trying to make, I can not reconcile that to the pleasure and satisfaction of sex. If it's really as awful as Dvls says it is, I'm surprised he has sex at all. If you don't want the obligation of satisfying your partner, just stick to masturbating. But don't say your partner's pleasure is important when you dread the moments when you have to hold off your orgasm(which you _will_ still get) for them. Cause, clearly, your pleasure is more important than theirs.


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## Faithful Wife

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_gratification

A growing body of literature has linked the ability to delay gratification to a host of other positive outcomes, including academic success, physical health, psychological health, and social competence. Walter Mischel has led the research on delayed gratification, most notably the Stanford marshmallow experiment, which shed light on the long-term results of a person's ability to delay gratification.

A person's ability to delay gratification relates to other similar skills such as patience, impulse control, self-control and willpower, all of which are involved in self-regulation. Broadly, self-regulation encompasses a person's capacity to adapt the self as necessary to meet demands of the environment.[2] Delaying gratification is the reverse of delay discounting, which is "the preference for smaller immediate rewards over larger but delayed rewards" and refers to the "fact that the subjective value of reward decreases with increasing delay to its receipt."[3] It is theorized that the ability to delay rewards is under the control of the Cognitive Affective Processing System (CAPS).[4]


----------



## ocotillo

Created2Write said:


> I get the comparison you're trying to make, I can not reconcile that to the pleasure and satisfaction of sex.


Look at it like walking a tightrope with PE on one side and ED on the other. Holding off orgasm in PIV sex means deliberately moving in ways that are less pleasurable for you. (But hopefully still pleasurable for her.)



Created2Write said:


> But don't say your partner's pleasure is important when you dread the moments when you have to hold off your orgasm(which you _will_ still get) for them. Cause, clearly, your pleasure is more important than theirs.


That's not fair at all because it's just not that simple.


----------



## Faithful Wife

ocotillo...for some men, it is not uncomfortable to hold on to the edge. Some LIKE it because it means a much bigger, better O when they actually let go. (I'm referring to tantra).

Also, the best lovers I've known were always very good at delayed gratification. Delaying it doesn't always mean there is pain or discomfort during the delay. Some people get off on being deprived, too. (I'm not saying that deprivation or delaying are something that everyone would like or should like...just saying some do).

Just some comments.


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## ocotillo

Faithful Wife said:


> Also, the best lovers I've known were always very good at delayed gratification. Delaying it doesn't always mean there is pain or discomfort during the delay. Some people get off on being deprived, too.


--No disagreement here. I'm just pointing out that in can be a delicate tightrope. If a man goes too far in one direction he'll start to lose his erection (Which we have no more control over than goose bumps) and if he goes too far in the other, he'll "Pop" too soon, which an awful lot of women regard as less than steller sex.

It took me a full year to wear down my wife's puritanical aversion to oral (i.e. Cunilingus) After that, things were much, much better.


----------



## Created2Write

ocotillo said:


> Look at it like walking a tightrope with PE on one side and ED on the other. Holding off orgasm in PIV sex means deliberately moving in ways that are less pleasurable for you. (But hopefully still pleasurable for her.)


"Less pleasure" doesn't mean "no pleasure." From my perspective, yes, if my husband pounds me like crazy, he will ejaculate very strongly, very quickly. Is the pounding "more" enjoyable? Yeah. It's pretty clear. Does that mean that by not pounding me his pleasure is drastically limited? No. Sometimes he prefers the longer, slower, more intimate movements. Sometimes he wants _me_ to be the one doing the pounding. 

Dvls is making it out to be some kind of martyrdom to hold out on his own orgasm while his partner gets her own. Based on what I have experienced with my husband in the bedroom, and based on what I have read and studied, this isn't suffering in any form. 



> That's not fair at all.


When someone complains that it "sucks" and is "self-depriving" for them to have to hold off on their own orgasm for their partner, even though they've said that it's not difficult and they can go for hours, then yes. I would say that it's a fair conclusion.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> This sounds so selfish to me. My husband loves BJ's. After only a few minutes of one, my entire face _hurts_, as in aches and even cramps up, especially if I'm really trying to make it a _good_ BJ.


Uh... cuz that sounds pleasurable? I don't even know what you're trying to say. But you know what? Is a bj about your pleasure? Is your pleasure even relevant to a bj? No. My tongue goes numb, my jaw hurts, my neck hurts, my fingers get pruned and sensitive and I get all kinds of weird craps going down on a woman. Think its hard sucking a protruding thing? Try getting down on a woman. Thank goodness for putting pillows under her ass. Compare the fatigue of your jaw to the fatigue of my tongue... a much smaller muscle... but its all good, because my going down isn't about my pleasure.

Intercourse however, is at least partly about my pleasure. If she's taking forever to O, why the hell is it the guy's burden to keep denying himself? I have a rough guess of a length of PIV time I'm good with and which keeps my satisfaction good. Beyond that, sorry for ya... we're not compatible. I'm not going to make sex suck for me so it can be good for you.

I'm soooo selfish. 



Created2Write said:


> so afterward, he made sure I got an orgasm. He offered it, he enjoyed doing it, and I enjoyed getting it. Why does it have to be an unpleasant experience for sex to be about _both_ people, before, during and after?


Its not that I'm some kind of ideologically opposed to post PIV work. Its that I'm physically... DONE. Exhausted. I just ran a marathon that gave her more than reasonable time to get there... I'm hot, I'm sweathy... I'm tired. I want to rest. Maybe we're having a differint kind of sex. If your hubby does anything other than catch his breath afterwards, we're talking different things. Maybe you're talking lovey dovey slow sex. I could see doing something after PIV if so... but to be honest, but tbh, same problem. I'm not into lovey dovey slow sex... especially near the finish. When I finish, I want to be exhausted. That's the best sex.



Created2Write said:


> I like cuddling after sex sometimes. I'm already feeling close to him, intimate, happy....


So do I - this is rest. That session is over.



Created2Write said:


> I don't relate to this either. If I'm turned on and aroused, nothing but sexual thoughts go through my mind.


Are you familiar with the trope? Do you think its just a made up thing?



Created2Write said:


> You're unwilling to pleasure your partner after sex because it would somehow interfere with your pleasure


That's not what I said. I'm tired. Exhausted in fact.



Created2Write said:


> This puts you, her, and the sexual encounter into a box, and pretty much leaves her sexual pleasure up to chance.


I've known all of two women I couldn't get an orgasm out of before PIV (and those women simply NEVER orgasm... as in, they say they'd never had one at all... ever... I'm sure you won't believe me here either). There's nothing up in the air about it. I'm a lock before PIV. If she shuts down the foreplay or we can't do it for whatever reason (my downtown example), then I have a rough limit of time I'm going to go at PIV and a certain amount of time I'll even deny myself to give her a shot to get there. If she doesn't get there in this amount of time - which I believe more than reasonable, I've done my due as far as I'm concerned and she's having a bad day. I'm not solely responsible for her ability to orgasm... she can or she can't. I'm not going to delay my orgasm forever. I'm not going to deny myself. Why have that sex at all? I think if that's happening with someone often, I wouldn't think they're compatible with me and I'm probably going to break up with her. She can go find someone with whom it isn't as hard for her to get off. I'm not gonna be the best lover for every woman and I don't care to be. Her compatibility with me is going to make for the best sex. As I said before, most of the time PIV orgasms are simultaneous in every one of my long lasting relationships, including my current one. Its usually her second orgasm, and it triggers mine... everyone is happy.

But the bottom line is that denying yourself when you're ready to orgasm kinda sucks. Pacing yourself, adjusting sensation and mental numbing to keep yourself from getting there also kinda sucks. Its a uniquely male experience that if you were a guy for a day, you should experience.


----------



## ocotillo

Created2Write said:


> When someone complains that it "sucks" and is "self-depriving" for them to have to hold off on their own orgasm for their partner, even though they've said that it's not difficult and they can go for hours, then yes. I would say that it's a fair conclusion.


Well, all I can say is that TAM would probably disappear if we could each walk in the others path for a week.  I understand what Dvls is saying. Words don't really express it properly though.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ocotillo said:


> There are ways around this and one of the most effective is simply not to snort so much pepper at a time. (Metaphorically speaking of course.)


The pepper in this case being pleasurable sensation, so by definition not "snorting" so much is LESS pleasurable... or as I term it, "kinda sucky."

Like being only able to have one spoon of icecream, while the whole bowl sits in front of you. Good spoonful... and still kinda sucky experience.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> I get the comparison you're trying to make, I can not reconcile that to the pleasure and satisfaction of sex. If it's really as awful as Dvls says it is, I'm surprised he has sex at all. If you don't want the obligation of satisfying your partner, just stick to masturbating. But don't say your partner's pleasure is important when you dread the moments when you have to hold off your orgasm(which you _will_ still get) for them. Cause, clearly, your pleasure is more important than theirs.


Well yeah, if I thought of it as badly as you mischaracterize me, I *wouldn't*want sex.  Or, I'd just be the totally indifferent guy that AA mischaracterizes me as. My goodness... how do I even have a gf... much less a hot one? You ladies crack me up. Splitting... its not just for BPDrs!

No matter how you slice it, denying your own pleasuring for some indefinite period in which a woman may or not orgasm, kinda sucks.

Case dismissed. Move on to other things that women should experience if they were guys for a day.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Uh... cuz that sounds pleasurable? I don't even know what you're trying to say.


Sometimes it's not about _me_, sometimes it's about _him_. To be a generous lover, I can't always consider my own pleasure. 



> Intercourse however, is at least partly about my pleasure.


Yes it is. My husband has told me many times that it's not just the orgasm that gives him pleasure, it's the journey to it. There are different kids of orgasms for him and, depending on the kind of sex we're having, the journey will be different. Why make something that has the potential to be wonderful from start to finish into something that sheer obligation? 



> If she's taking forever to O, why the hell is it the guy's burden to keep denying himself?


You stuck it in, dude. You can't then complain about giving to her what you expect yourself. And with the right mindset, "denying yourself" the orgasm for a little longer can absolutely be satisfying and pleasurable. Sex is about more than the end goal. Even ONS's can be intimate, wonderful experiences if the people engaging in sex are focused more on the journey and less on the finish line. 



> I have a rough guess of a length of PIV time I'm good with and which keeps my satisfaction good. Beyond that, sorry for ya... we're not compatible. I'm not going to make sex suck for me so it can be good for you.


Your view of sex makes me very sad. You're missing out on a really wonderful aspect of sex by having such a narrow view of it. 



> I'm soooo selfish.


It's how I see it. It's your loss, though. Not mine. 



> Its not that I'm some kind of ideologically opposed to post PIV work. Its that I'm physically... DONE. Exhausted. I just ran a marathon that gave her more than reasonable time to get there... I'm hot, I'm sweathy... I'm tired. I want to rest.


I'm not saying that the first thing he should do after orgasm is get up and start getting her off. My husband usually waits a few minutes, no more than five, cleans himself off and then starts. If it's been a particularly long, enthusiastic tryst, then it's usually a little bit of a longer wait. 



> Maybe we're having a differint kind of sex. If your hubby does anything other than catch his breath afterwards, we're talking different things. Maybe you're talking lovey dovey slow sex.


Nope. I'm not. I'm taking enthusiastic, energetic, pounding away like crazy sex. And yes, he catches his breath for a few moments. But he's not rendered useless just because he's orgasmed. 



> I could see doing something after PIV if so... but to be honest, but tbh, same problem. I'm not into lovey dovey slow sex... especially near the finish. When I finish, I want to be exhausted. That's the best sex.


I pity you there, too. "Lovey dovey" sex can be just as passionate, just as powerful. We don't have this kind of sex very often, but when we do it's magical. Wonderful. And, by no means, vanilla or wussy. 



> Are you familiar with the trope? Do you think its just a made up thing?


No, I don't think you made it up. I've known women who think about a lot of different things during sex. I am not one of them. 



> That's not what I said. I'm tired. Exhausted in fact.


I've already mentioned that my husband has given me oral after PIV before, and no, not "lovey dovey" PIV. But for a nonsexual example: my husband has come home from over two hours of working out, been sweaty, exhausted, hungry, says he could fall asleep in minutes if he had the chance, and when I come onto him, he rallies. And yep, given me oral. 



> I've known all of two women I couldn't get an orgasm out of before PIV (and those women simply NEVER orgasm... as in, they say they'd never had one at all... ever... I'm sure you won't believe me here either).


Oh please. Stop whining. I'm well aware that there are women who don't orgasm. 



> There's nothing up in the air about it. I'm a lock before PIV. If she shuts down the foreplay or we can't do it for whatever reason (my downtown example), then I have a rough limit of time I'm going to go at PIV and a certain amount of time I'll even deny myself to give her a shot to get there. If she doesn't get there in this amount of time - which I believe more than reasonable, I've done my due as far as I'm concerned and she's having a bad day.


Poor attitude to bring to sex, imo. 



> I'm not solely responsible for her ability to orgasm... she can or she can't. I'm not going to delay my orgasm forever. I'm not going to deny myself. Why have that sex at all?


There have been many studies on the benefits of prolonging orgasms. But even all of that aside, I think it drastically limits the sexual potential of a hook up, or of a sexual relationship, to see sex as nothing more than a release and a good time. Take commitment and romance aside, and you still have the potential for strong, passionate, energetic, dynamic, varied sex if you don't put the individuals in a box. Dictating to a woman when and how she will orgasm, or go without, is a sure-fire way to wind up sexless. 



> I think if that's happening with someone often, I wouldn't think they're compatible with me and I'm probably going to break up with her. She can go find someone with whom it isn't as hard for her to get off. I'm not gonna be the best lover for every woman and I don't care to be. Her compatibility with me is going to make for the best sex. As I said before, most of the time PIV orgasms are simultaneous in every one of my long lasting relationships, including my current one. Its usually her second orgasm, and it triggers mine... everyone is happy.


Focusing on simultaneous orgasms is the number one warning I've seen when researching how to have better sex. Too many people place a much too high value on this, because it is SO difficult to manage most of the time. Failure to do this makes people irritated, disappointed and angry, when you don't _need_ simultaneous orgasms to have a great sexual encounter. And no, simultaneous orgasms are NOT "the best". Mutually satisfying and selfless sex is the best. And having that requires an open mind. 



> But the bottom line is that denying yourself when you're ready to orgasm kinda sucks.


For YOU. 



> Pacing yourself, adjusting sensation and mental numbing to keep yourself from getting there also kinda sucks.


Again, for YOU. 



> Its a uniquely male experience that if you were a guy for a day, you should experience.


I don't think it's a uniquely male experience, I think it's a uniquely YOU experience. And I'll pass.


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> Neurologically, the bodily function most closely related to male orgasm is a sneeze.
> 
> There's a tipping point with a sneeze, beyond which, your control is gone. It just happens. Anyone who doubts this has only to snort a little ground black pepper


I often hold back on my orgasm. I enjoy doing so because it prolongs the pleasure and intensifies the end result. Those moments that I'm on that edge, I want to last forever. But sometimes, of course, it cannot be contained.

Do you suppose the experience is so totally different?

Sometimes when my SO backs off to change position or whatever, he will go quite soft. Then ramp up again. Sometimes rinse and repeat. My impression is that his experience is certainly no worse for the variations in stimulation and focus on his pleasure centers, and indeed that it often results in a much more powerful O.

He of course tells me that it's all good.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> This is the perspective of already having a solid relationship I think - already having someone. I take the perspective of getting someone.


Why is that Dvl's? It's as if the only moment that ever matters to you is the one where you are trying to entice a random woman into bed with you.

I understood it more when you were single and that was your primary concern regarding women. But don't you have a gf now?

So why still the preoccupation with the statistical odds that strange women can be conned into bed?

Either way, I think you would find better connections if you treated them as individuals instead of horses you're betting on. But maybe it isn't connection you're seeking?


----------



## Nynaeve

chillymorn said:


> what nobody mentioned going golfing,hunting fishing or playing poker!


I mentioned golfing.


----------



## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> I often hold back on my orgasm. I enjoy doing so because it prolongs the pleasure and intensifies the end result. Those moments that I'm on that edge, I want to last forever. But sometimes, of course, it cannot be contained.
> 
> Do you suppose the experience is so totally different?


That's the million dollar question isn't it?  So much misunderstanding would evaporate into thin air if we really knew. Based on your prefatory observation, I would lean in the direction of substantial difference though. 

I suspect orgasm is more of a mechanical process for men inasmuch as it is a natural function of a healthy sexual apparatus that a man will periodically experience regardless of whether he has a partner or not. If that is not understood, then the analogy to a sneeze or a blink or hiccup or some other function the body at an autonomic level, desperately wants to do, will likely fall flat.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> Sometimes it's not about _me_, sometimes it's about _him_. To be a generous lover, I can't always consider my own pleasure.


And when I'm going down, its about her. PIV is mutual. She has a certain amount of time to get there, and if she doesn't, its on her. Nobody is going to last forever, and even if you could, that would suck. The irony here is I once had your viewpoint. What changed it is that some women just aren't going to get off sometimes. Some get off every time, others are hit and miss no matter how long I make it last. That's reality. Besides that, if I go too long, I might slip into jackhammer mode and never be able to finish. Ive learned there's a reasonable amount of time for PIV, she usually doesn't want a marathon anymore than I do even if it means no O for her. It may be foreign to you, but its not uncommon. Some women in fact never get off from PIV, am I supposed to still hold off because this encounter precluded foreplay? You're being absolutely unreasonable here just to argue with me.



Created2Write said:


> My husband has told me many times that it's not just the orgasm that gives him pleasure, it's the journey to it. There are different kids of orgasms for him and, depending on the kind of sex we're having, the journey will be different. Why make something that has the potential to be wonderful from start to finish into something that sheer obligation?


Not sure what obligation you're talking about, but you're also comparing apples and oranges. When you edge your hubs in a bj is a far cry from what I'm talking about. Most women I've been with require a certain pace and build up of thrusting to get over the top - the same pace that is likely to get me there. So, slow down and change it up such that I don't O - the equivalent of my edging... which doesn't move her toward O, or mentally numb out and keep sprinting for hers? In other words, make the finish suck for me so she gets hers... MAYBE... because, as I said, some women don't O by PIV every time, and some, at all.

The journey isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about not enjoying yourself to the fullest - holding back and lowering your own enjoyment in hopes she gets off - and maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. It kinda sucks.



Created2Write said:


> You stuck it in, dude. You can't then complain about giving to her what you expect yourself. And with the right mindset, "denying yourself" the orgasm for a little longer can absolutely be satisfying and pleasurable. Sex is about more than the end goal. Even ONS's can be intimate, wonderful experiences if the people engaging in sex are focused more on the journey and less on the finish line.


Again, you're not on the same page. I generally focus on getting her off before PIV, because in my experience, its the only surefire thing. When foreplay is shut down (BY HER) or not possible, is where this scenario can occur. I'm not talking about intimacy, and slowing up/stopping as in edging isn't gonna get her over the top. The whole point is she's not getting off, and I am wanting to... from that point forward, all effort to get her off comes at a sacrifice of my own enjoyment... and there's only so long I care to do that before I'm frustrated. Maybe a bigger dude would be better for her... I don't care, but you can be damn sure I'm not going to stay interested if I'm not enjoying it or reach that numb point of no return where now I'm not gonna orgasm. Such sex lasts forever and eventually I'm going to be frustrated with it. That's not a matter of unwillingness to please, that's incompatibility. If her taking an inordinate amount of time to get over the top takes my pleasure out of it, why would I want to stay in that relationship as opposed to finding a more compatible partner? 



Created2Write said:


> Your view of sex makes me very sad. You're missing out on a really wonderful aspect of sex by having such a narrow view of it.


Mischaracterization yet again. I'm pointing out one specific thing and you and the lady brigade take it to town and straw man it into some ridiculous overreach.  





Created2Write said:


> I'm not saying that the first thing he should do after orgasm is get up and start getting her off. My husband usually waits a few minutes, no more than five, cleans himself off and then starts. If it's been a particularly long, enthusiastic tryst, then it's usually a little bit of a longer wait.


You have your preferences, I have mine. I'm not interested in continuing after my PIV sprint to the finish. If that's a problem, again, she can find someone more compatible with her preferences. If she doesn't do oral, I'm damn sure going to find someone more compatible with mine.



Created2Write said:


> Nope. I'm not. I'm taking enthusiastic, energetic, pounding away like crazy sex. And yes, he catches his breath for a few moments. But he's not rendered useless just because he's orgasmed.


Awesome. I'm not interested. 



Created2Write said:


> I pity you there, too. "Lovey dovey" sex can be just as passionate, just as powerful. We don't have this kind of sex very often, but when we do it's magical. Wonderful. And, by no means, vanilla or wussy.


Pity? How condescending. I like what I like. You like what you like. Should I pity you for what you like?



Created2Write said:


> I've already mentioned that my husband has given me oral after PIV before, and no, not "lovey dovey" PIV.


I'm not doing oral after PIV. Your husband can enjoy that all he wants.



Created2Write said:


> Poor attitude to bring to sex, imo.


Who are you to judge my preferences? You're not even on the same page as what I'm talking about.



Created2Write said:


> There have been many studies on the benefits of prolonging orgasms. But even all of that aside, I think it drastically limits the sexual potential of a hook up, or of a sexual relationship, to see sex as nothing more than a release and a good time. Take commitment and romance aside, and you still have the potential for strong, passionate, energetic, dynamic, varied sex if you don't put the individuals in a box. Dictating to a woman when and how she will orgasm, or go without, is a sure-fire way to wind up sexless.


I'll dictate whatever I damn well please... because in the end, its my choice. I'll have sex exactly as I want to with who I want to, if they don't like it, they can find another partner. Finding a match is a wonderful thing. Edging is awesome, prolonging my orgasm makes a stronger orgasm... and neither is what I'm describing Mrs. Judgey. 



Created2Write said:


> Focusing on simultaneous orgasms is the number one warning I've seen when researching how to have better sex. Too many people place a much too high value on this, because it is SO difficult to manage most of the time. Failure to do this makes people irritated, disappointed and angry, when you don't _need_ simultaneous orgasms to have a great sexual encounter. And no, simultaneous orgasms are NOT "the best". Mutually satisfying and selfless sex is the best. And having that requires an open mind.


You decide what's best now too? Simultaneous orgasms are the best for me, and I definitely prefer women I sync up to in this way over others. Doesn't happen every single time, and it doesn't have to... but what I'm not happy with is a prolonged session of self denial for a woman who can't get out of her own damn head.



Created2Write said:


> For YOU.


How you gonna bust out with that only a sentence after telling me what's best? lol



Created2Write said:


> I don't think it's a uniquely male experience, I think it's a uniquely YOU experience. And I'll pass.


Lmao... awww... guess it was a good thing I didn't take your Skype invite. With shots like that, I totally understand why your best friend bailed now. Don't PM me again.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Why is that Dvl's? It's as if the only moment that ever matters to you is the one where you are trying to entice a random woman into bed with you.
> 
> I understood it more when you were single and that was your primary concern regarding women. But don't you have a gf now?
> 
> 
> So why still the preoccupation with the statistical odds that strange women can be conned into bed?


The majority of my recent experience has not involved the discussion you refer to. I'd date someone for a little while and decide she's not it and move on. Now I'm like 9 months into a relationship, and we have had some sexual discussion - mostly on kinkier things. The basics have all been automatic. We're very compatible. The context of the discussion was having detailed sexual discussions before even having sex.



always_alone said:


> Either way, I think you would find better connections if you treated them as individuals instead of horses you're betting on. But maybe it isn't connection you're seeking?


Hmm... I have an awesome connection with my gf and amazingly I didn't talk about sex before we had it. Talk about sex with a new girl before she's even decided to have sex with you, and she's not likely to have sex with you - believe it or don't, I've been around enough to know. But come now, AA, you have to agree with that one... you want him to like you for you, and are allergic to his sexual intentions aren't you? 

A compliment gets a woman's guard up. What do you think sex talk does?


----------



## minebeloved

If I were a white male, I wouldn't bath or shave. It seems as though women go for dirty guys.


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> I suspect orgasm is more of a mechanical process for men inasmuch as it is a natural function of a healthy sexual apparatus that a man will periodically experience regardless of whether he has a partner or not. If that is not understood, then the analogy to a sneeze or a blink or hiccup or some other function the body at an autonomic level, desperately wants to do, will likely fall flat.


And that's all it ever is for you? Just a quick little pop off, no mind-blowing, no super intensity, no enjoyment in prolonging the experience and riding the wave? Just wham bam, that's all she wrote?

Am very, very glad not to be a guy, then.


----------



## Catherine602

Simultaneous orgasms, is there such a thing? 

You haven't been reading that romantic trash have you? It doesn't sound like you are talking about sex. Intellectual, cold machine-like passionless action on cue. 

How do you synchronize - surveil each other and look for signs of an upheaval? It's always exactly the same, is that how you can tell??? You don't get lost in the moment. 

There is soooo much talking and thinking. It's not a show, competition or an audition. Just get into, get some passion heat and feeling; forget yourself and lose yourself. You are like a virgin, you haven't even scratched the surface.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Catherine602 said:


> Simultaneous orgasms, is there such a thing?


Is this a serious question? Most def.



Catherine602 said:


> You haven't been reading that romantic trash have you? It doesn't sound like you are talking about sex. Intellectual, cold machine-like passionless action on cue.


? Have I been reading romantic trash or am I passionless? You get all that from simultaneous Os and not continuing after O?



Catherine602 said:


> How do you synchronize - surveil each other and look for signs of an upheaval? It's always exactly the same, is that how you can tell??? You don't get lost in the moment.


Zero strategy on that sorry. Its there or its not.



Catherine602 said:


> There is soooo much talking and thinking. It's not a show, competition or an audition. Just get into, get some passion heat and feeling; forget yourself and lose yourself. You are like a virgin, you haven't even scratched the surface.


[/quote]

You must be mistaking me for them. They're having the lengthy discussions, not me. Omg you ladies make some amazing leaps. I'm like a virgin because I'm not a fan of slow lovey dovey sex, prefer someone I sync up with and dont enjoy anything sexual after PIV finish? lol I'm sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to like what you like. Awesome thing is, my gf likes passionate, physically demanding rough sex with slow interludes... exactly as I do... and most of the time we O together. (she's not a fan of multiples past 2 or 3, she says she gets too sensitive).

Why the focus on my sexual preference anyway? This "hold back" I'm talking about is a real thing. Its not just me. Virtually every guys can relate to it at one point or another. Its not a matter of ability or talent... thats just you ladies' desire to insult talking. Keep it classy, my preferences shouldn't elicit such hostility and over the top assumptions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> And that's all it ever is for you? Just a quick little pop off, no mind-blowing, no super intensity, no enjoyment in prolonging the experience and riding the wave? Just wham bam, that's all she wrote?
> 
> Am very, very glad not to be a guy, then.


I knew this was coming. And this is one of the reasons I think "Guy for a day" and "Girl for a day" would be illuminating for us all. It's so easy to take the observations of the opposite gender and ram them through the lens of our own perceptions and experiences and come up with a negative impression. But it's really not like that at all. 

I mentioned a "Tipping point" beyond which the average man will lose control. Why do you think I care about that? Wouldn't the most charitable assumption be that it's not just a quick, "..wham bam, that's all she wrote?" And that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for it not to be like that? And that even if that makes it less pleasurable for me in the process, I think it's well worth it for her sake? What's wrong with that?


----------



## samyeagar

always_alone said:


> And that's all it ever is for you? Just a quick little pop off, no mind-blowing, no super intensity, no enjoyment in prolonging the experience and riding the wave? Just wham bam, that's all she wrote?
> 
> Am very, very glad not to be a guy, then.


From everything my STBW says and how she reacts, I would love to be a woman for a day just so I could have sex with me 

When it comes to male orgasms, they really are quite different than female ones. While it is possible for a guy to stay in the plateau stage without going over, it takes a skilled partner to really make that fully enjoyable. If I have to be the one focussing on keeping myself there, that mental energy is taking away from the over all pleasure. Unlike women, once we go over and O, there is no indefinite return to plateau possible. There have been times with my STBW that I have kept her between plateau and orgasm for nearly an hour, to where she is sweating and completely exhausted all while barely moving at all...the best of those is when I had gone first, and am able to get back up and go again through the course of taking care of her.


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> I mentioned a "Tipping point" beyond which the average man will lose control. Why do you think I care about that? Wouldn't the most charitable assumption be that it's not just a quick, "..wham bam, that's all she wrote?" And that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for it not to be like that? And that even if that makes it less pleasurable for me in the process, I think it's well worth it for her sake? What's wrong with that?


I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say -- or maybe I misunderstood you.

I described attempting to ride that tipping point as much as possible, even though there are absolutely times that I can't hold it back. And you seemed to think that this was completely alien to the male experience, and that holding off is inevitably less pleasurable for the male. 

Well, holding off for me also involves less stimulation, or a break, or a shift in focus that causes me to not be totally lost in the sensation. However, I would never really describe this as sacrificing my pleasure for his, or as less pleasure for me. I'm holding back specifically to prolong pleasure for both of us.

I was under the impression that men did the same, especially those into tantra and other forms of maximizing ecstasy. Sometimes, for example, I will bring my SO up close to that point, then ramp down again, then bring him back up. He seems to really enjoy this, and have pretty awesome orgasms from it.

But what you seem to be telling me is that any decrease in stimulation or effort at holding back is for her pleasure only, and inevitably at a cost to your own. That there is nothing gained from anything but driving it home from the male POV.


----------



## always_alone

samyeagar said:


> Unlike women, once we go over and O, there is no indefinite return to plateau possible.


My understanding is that men can have multiple orgasms too. I keep trying to get my SO interested in this, but he won't have anything to do with it.

Too bad, I say. Multiples truly are the bomb.


----------



## samyeagar

always_alone said:


> My understanding is that men can have multiple orgasms too. I keep trying to get my SO interested in this, but he won't have anything to do with it.
> 
> Too bad, I say. Multiples truly are the bomb.


Male multiples are very different from female multiples. There really is no comparison. I am able to have multiples and can only really describe it as I am able to mentally stop my orgasm in it's early stages, and then build it back up, wash, rinse, repeat. The things is, none of them are nearly as pleasurable as a full single one. If you consider having multiple full orgasms in a singe session, then yes, I can do that too if conditions are right, having an O, continuing on, then maybe having another one 15-20 minutes later after going through refractory. I can sometimes span the time between orgasms without going completely soft, but that doesn't happen very often.

My STBW, most of the time, her multiples are full and a few minutes apart, though sometimes she will hit that wave of one after another after another, but can only take it for a few minutes before she is too exhausted to keep going.


----------



## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> I described attempting to ride that tipping point as much as possible, even though there are absolutely times that I can't hold it back. And you seemed to think that this was completely alien to the male experience, and that holding off is inevitably less pleasurable for the male.


I don't think I've used the word, "Inevitable" but I would use the word, "Common." In that regard, Sammy's comments above might be more helpful than anything I've said. 

A skilled partner may indeed be able to make a plateau in lovemaking pleasurable. I wouldn't know anything about that. For a great many of us as men, we're expected to be responsible for both orgasms. Our and hers. This isn't a criticism of either gender. That's what we're all taught in books, movies and other popular media.

But the reality is that most men *can* identify in one way or another with the pressure to hold off their own orgasm as long as possible, not because it's more pleasurable, (Engorgement of the urethral bulb prior to orgasm can feel like fingernails on chalkboard. (Or black pepper up the nose)) but because there is embarrassment and shame in not lasting long enough.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Well, holding off for me also involves less stimulation, or a break, or a shift in focus that causes me to not be totally lost in the sensation. However, I would never really describe this as sacrificing my pleasure for his, or as less pleasure for me. I'm holding back specifically to prolong pleasure for both of us.


The difference between you holding off and a guy holding off is that at a certain point, we are ramping up trying to get you off... slowing up or whatever may make it last, but its generally not going to get you off, and its not a certainty that this woman will get off at all... a lot depends on her state of mind. So there's a sense of indefinite prolonging. Ive even had circumstances where Ive had a sort of "half-orgasm" in trying to hold back beyond a certain point. It involves a smaller ejaculation and almost none of the big orgasmic feeling. When that happens, no big orgasm is in store at all... that was the orgasm, and most guys are going to get soft shortly thereafter. Some kinky people are really into doing these sort of "ruined orgasms", but I think they're terrible.

None of that is related to the rest of the character of sex. I'm referring to a very specific scenario where even if we last past that point and she gets off, it kinda sucks... and if we don't last and she doesn't get off there's a sort of fail-y feeling that kinda sucks too.

Why such hostility to my expressing it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> For a great many of us as men, we're expected to be responsible for both orgasms. Our and hers. This isn't a criticism of either gender.


Does this responsibility include pushing her head down for a bj?

I know that sounds flippant, but I mean it as a serious question. My experience is that women are *always* expected to provide male pleasure, but the reverse is not necessarily true. 

And now you're telling me the opposite.


----------



## FrenchFry

always_alone said:


> My understanding is that men can have multiple orgasms too. I keep trying to get my SO interested in this, but he won't have anything to do with it.
> 
> Too bad, I say. Multiples truly are the bomb.


a_a, it's a lot of effing work _for you._ It's fun, but it's so much more work.

My husband describes it like I would with mine, "the waves" and whatnot, but more physically draining to the point that after the second one, it's like draining blood. Mine are like regular waves, his are like tsunamis with the receding water pulling allll the way back.

I honestly do not know if it is possible for all men to do so, it really is a lot of work but I will never ever forget the look on his face the first time it happened. Like, I think he got just a tiny taste of being a highly orgasmic woman and his whole life changed. :rofl:


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> (Engorgement of the urethral bulb prior to orgasm can feel like fingernails on chalkboard. (Or black pepper up the nose))


Huh. I wonder if my SO would tell me that I'd actually been torturing him all these years. 

Hope so.

Am also wondering if there aren't some serious advantages to some amount of ED, as that sure seems to mean there's no longer any need whatsoever to "hold off".


----------



## always_alone

FrenchFry said:


> a_a, it's a lot of effing work _for you._ It's fun, but it's so much more work.


I'm okay with the work, but he's read something (not sure what) that's made him afraid of health consequences around semen retention. And I'm pretty sure I can't do it without his cooperation.

Lord knows I've tried.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> Does this responsibility include pushing her head down for a bj?
> 
> I know that sounds flippant, but I mean it as a serious question. My experience is that women are *always* expected to provide male pleasure, but the reverse is not necessarily true.
> 
> And now you're telling me the opposite.


Funny you say always, because that's never been the case in any of my experiences. Ive never pushed her head down or even asked for oral, and never had my head pushed down or been asked for oral. Both situations have been entirely voluntary. 

I do feel how ever that both of our orgasms are primarily in my hands, with every woman ive ever been with. With the exception of bjs to completion, its pretty much my job to get us both off.

Edit: Oh wait, some women occasionally do the work riding cowboy, but its by far the less common case.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Why such hostility to my expressing it?


Well, Dvl's, you seem to have a unique ability to make something that virtually everyone loves, and wants to do, sound like a chore slightly worse than clearing an outhouse.

Not only do you seem to resent the effort you put into her pleasure, and any demands she may have of you, you also have this super strict set of parameters of how it should all unfold - a set that is far removed from what actually gives women pleasure.

When you're tired, she's completely SOL, and she's also supposed to time to your schedule and always magically orgasm simultaneously, even though PIV doesn't even really do much for most women. She does get foreplay, but you seem to only want to do it to avoid complaints, and describe efforts to get her off as "sucky" and "fiddling".

All in all, it sounds completely unpleasant to me. 

Now maybe you just mean that those times where you have to hold out a bit longer than you like to give her the better orgasm are challenging, in which case I can sympathize, as I often have to go the extra mile (which is not always comfortable or fun) to do that for my partner as well.

But I'd still advise that you best not quit your day job to take up writing erotica literature.


----------



## Catherine602

always_alone said:


> Well, Dvl's, you seem to have a unique ability to make something that virtually everyone loves, and wants to do, sound like a chore slightly worse than clearing an outhouse.
> 
> Not only do you seem to resent the effort you put into her pleasure, and any demands she may have of you, you also have this super strict set of parameters of how it should all unfold - a set that is far removed from what actually gives women pleasure.
> 
> When you're tired, she's completely SOL, and she's also supposed to time to your schedule and always magically orgasm simultaneously, even though PIV doesn't even really do much for most women. She does get foreplay, but you seem to only want to do it to avoid complaints, and describe efforts to get her off as "sucky" and "fiddling".
> 
> All in all, it sounds completely unpleasant to me.
> 
> Now maybe you just mean that those times where you have to hold out a bit longer than you like to give her the better orgasm are challenging, in which case I can sympathize, as I often have to go the extra mile (which is not always comfortable or fun) to do that for my partner as well.
> 
> But I'd still advise that you best not quit your day job to take up writing erotica literature.


But he attracts many real woman who fit his requirements. 

It's a minor miracle that he can find so many women willing to be tried out, let alone get themselves tangled up in something like this. 

They need to be attractive, by his criteria, enormously compliant and self-sacrificing, orgasm easily and reliably vaginally, be willing to do it under his control, and a low maintenance type. 

Harlequin publishing is missing out on some serious profits from romance paperbacks for men. Might I suggest a tittle for the first book? "A King of Dreams" I ask for only 5% of the gross.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Type me however you like, but none of what you're saying fits with the emphasis I place on foreplay. I dont know where anyone gets the idea I think foreplay is sucky or a burden - thats absurd. I absolutely love eating at the Y for one. If she pushes the jump to PIV, then she's eliminating my most reliable way of getting her off. Fortunately, my LTRs have always gotten off from PIV the majority of the time as well... usually a second time if she didn't forgo foreplay. Excuse me for my preference to not continue after PIV in a single session. Thats my prerogative. You dont like that, and I'm the one with the picky standards? lol Pretty much everything else being said about me is wrong, but don't let me interupt a good bs story. 

Its pretty impressive how far you ladies can leap. Have you considered the olympics?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Btw AA, sex that can be described as "uncomfortable or not fun", as you say, is exactly what I would describe as "kinda sucky". Holding off an orgasm or modulating my pleasure for an inordinate amount of time is not much fun at all. So yeah, if she's a hard c*mmer and she jumped to PIV and taking forever to O, there's only so much time in going to deny myself before it becomes uncomfortable or not fun. I almost never skip foreplay except for less common sex in odd places, quickies or the physical"take me" -rapey sex- which you also object to but my gf loves. Women put the stops on foreplay way more often than I do. I take personal pride in going down in particular - its sometimes all I want to do given the time I have. Im good at it, most love it, so no doubt I enjoy the hell out of it.

So while thinking I'm selfish, consider how often you get unsolicited oral with no expectation of reciprocation. Its something almost every girl Ive dated has remarked on as a rarity that makes me pretty awesome and generous.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ocotillo

always_alone said:


> Does this responsibility include pushing her head down for a bj?


I wouldn't know, AA. Fellatio is not something I've ever experienced personally. 

Obviously our observations here are colored by our own life experience. Mine, for a good chunk of my life has been a fairly typical HD/LD relationship. The pleasure and reward of sex has always been her elusive 'O'.




always_alone said:


> Am also wondering if there aren't some serious advantages to some amount of ED, as that sure seems to mean there's no longer any need whatsoever to "hold off".


--Probably depends on the couple and whether or not going soft is taken as a personal insult and/or commentary on her attractiveness. But yes, that would take the 'Balancing on a knife edge' thing away.


----------



## Faithful Wife

DvlsAdvc8;So while thinking I'm selfish said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_[/size]


Not a rarity, dude.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Faithful Wife said:


> Not a rarity, dude.


:smthumbup:

Apparently those who've told me this haven't had your experience then, including my present gf who prior to me, had never received oral as the main and only event... period. Her exact words were "guys never do that without expecting something back or being a warm up for sex".

Aww... now I don't feel special. :'( 

lol


----------



## doubletrouble

It's not a rarity for the women I've been with. I absolutely crave going down on my lover.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> And when I'm going down, its about her. PIV is mutual. She has a certain amount of time to get there, and if she doesn't, its on her. Nobody is going to last forever, and even if you could, that would suck. The irony here is I once had your viewpoint. What changed it is that some women just aren't going to get off sometimes. Some get off every time, others are hit and miss no matter how long I make it last. That's reality. Besides that, if I go too long, I might slip into jackhammer mode and never be able to finish. Ive learned there's a reasonable amount of time for PIV, she usually doesn't want a marathon anymore than I do even if it means no O for her. It may be foreign to you, but its not uncommon. Some women in fact never get off from PIV, am I supposed to still hold off because this encounter precluded foreplay? You're being absolutely unreasonable here just to argue with me.
> 
> 
> 
> Not sure what obligation you're talking about, but you're also comparing apples and oranges. When you edge your hubs in a bj is a far cry from what I'm talking about. Most women I've been with require a certain pace and build up of thrusting to get over the top - the same pace that is likely to get me there. So, slow down and change it up such that I don't O - the equivalent of my edging... which doesn't move her toward O, or mentally numb out and keep sprinting for hers? In other words, make the finish suck for me so she gets hers... MAYBE... because, as I said, some women don't O by PIV every time, and some, at all.
> 
> The journey isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about not enjoying yourself to the fullest - holding back and lowering your own enjoyment in hopes she gets off - and maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. It kinda sucks.
> 
> 
> 
> Again, you're not on the same page. I generally focus on getting her off before PIV, because in my experience, its the only surefire thing. When foreplay is shut down (BY HER) or not possible, is where this scenario can occur. I'm not talking about intimacy, and slowing up/stopping as in edging isn't gonna get her over the top. The whole point is she's not getting off, and I am wanting to... from that point forward, all effort to get her off comes at a sacrifice of my own enjoyment... and there's only so long I care to do that before I'm frustrated. Maybe a bigger dude would be better for her... I don't care, but you can be damn sure I'm not going to stay interested if I'm not enjoying it or reach that numb point of no return where now I'm not gonna orgasm. Such sex lasts forever and eventually I'm going to be frustrated with it. That's not a matter of unwillingness to please, that's incompatibility. If her taking an inordinate amount of time to get over the top takes my pleasure out of it, why would I want to stay in that relationship as opposed to finding a more compatible partner?
> 
> 
> 
> Mischaracterization yet again. I'm pointing out one specific thing and you and the lady brigade take it to town and straw man it into some ridiculous overreach.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You have your preferences, I have mine. I'm not interested in continuing after my PIV sprint to the finish. If that's a problem, again, she can find someone more compatible with her preferences. If she doesn't do oral, I'm damn sure going to find someone more compatible with mine.
> 
> 
> 
> Awesome. I'm not interested.
> 
> 
> 
> Pity? How condescending. I like what I like. You like what you like. Should I pity you for what you like?
> 
> 
> 
> I'm not doing oral after PIV. Your husband can enjoy that all he wants.
> 
> 
> 
> Who are you to judge my preferences? You're not even on the same page as what I'm talking about.
> 
> 
> 
> I'll dictate whatever I damn well please... because in the end, its my choice. I'll have sex exactly as I want to with who I want to, if they don't like it, they can find another partner. Finding a match is a wonderful thing. Edging is awesome, prolonging my orgasm makes a stronger orgasm... and neither is what I'm describing Mrs. Judgey.
> 
> 
> 
> You decide what's best now too? Simultaneous orgasms are the best for me, and I definitely prefer women I sync up to in this way over others. Doesn't happen every single time, and it doesn't have to... but what I'm not happy with is a prolonged session of self denial for a woman who can't get out of her own damn head.
> 
> 
> 
> How you gonna bust out with that only a sentence after telling me what's best? lol
> 
> 
> 
> Lmao... awww... guess it was a good thing I didn't take your Skype invite. With shots like that, I totally understand why your best friend bailed now. Don't PM me again.


I've been responding to everything YOU have said. If I'm "not on the same page", then examine your communication style. You contradict yourself all of the time. It makes understanding you impossible. But given you're extremely hostile jab at the end of this post, I'm going to venture a guess that I'm hitting closer to home than you'd like. Because that was really low. And really silly. As if my opinion of you has ANYTHING at all to do with the people in my life. rofl.


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> My understanding is that men can have multiple orgasms too. I keep trying to get my SO interested in this, but he won't have anything to do with it.
> 
> Too bad, I say. Multiples truly are the bomb.


My husband has had a couple of multiples in one session. He loves them.


----------



## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> Well, Dvl's, you seem to have a unique ability to make something that virtually everyone loves, and wants to do, sound like a chore slightly worse than clearing an outhouse.
> 
> Not only do you seem to resent the effort you put into her pleasure, and any demands she may have of you, you also have this super strict set of parameters of how it should all unfold - a set that is far removed from what actually gives women pleasure.
> 
> When you're tired, she's completely SOL, and she's also supposed to time to your schedule and always magically orgasm simultaneously, even though PIV doesn't even really do much for most women. She does get foreplay, but you seem to only want to do it to avoid complaints, and describe efforts to get her off as "sucky" and "fiddling".
> 
> All in all, it sounds completely unpleasant to me.
> 
> Now maybe you just mean that those times where you have to hold out a bit longer than you like to give her the better orgasm are challenging, in which case I can sympathize, as I often have to go the extra mile (which is not always comfortable or fun) to do that for my partner as well.
> 
> But I'd still advise that you best not quit your day job to take up writing erotica literature.


Exactly. All of this. 

Dvls, I couldn't care less about your preferences and I'm glad you have a woman who meets all of your criteria. But the sex you have sounds....cold. Very, very cold and rigid. That's not hostility, that's the honest truth. I don't know why you're so up in arms over a few women's opinions about your sexual desires?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

No, your extrapolations are cold. I'm up in arms about your opinions because you people are in lala land with your mischaracterizations. Its obnoxious. I haven't contradicted myself even once. I challenge you to point out even ONE contradiction. You and the lady brigade jumped off a cliff into obnoxiously off base JUDGMENTS of my sex life based on two entirely innocuous descriptions of PHYSICAL REALITY.

I've stated 2 distinct things. 1 - most men have experienced this "hold off" I refer to, and its not very fun, and at its worst its somewhat uncomfortable. Its kinda sucky. Men participating in the thread confirm its existence and undesirablility. Its one of the reasons I put so much emphasis into foreplay - to ensure she gets off at least once, and its more likely to get off a second time during PIV. Either way ensuring more pleasurable sex for both of us. The scenario where undesirable "holding back" may become necessary is where SHE ended foreplay or its not possible given other constraints - and even then only if she's taking an inordinate amount of time to get there. 2 - that I don't do anything sexual after PIV finish. Even my gf thinks continuing while she's leaking me out of her is gross - whether it would be my mouth, fingers or otherwise. Maybe your hubby is down with oral after that, more power to him, I'm not. Your judgment of this is the equivalent of judging someone who doesn't give bjs because they don't like to. That's pure preference and you should rightly be called out for being so obnoxiously judgmental and then jumping to all sorts of bogus conclusions. 

The cold you describe is completely foreign to me... a wild leap of your own imagination. Do my descriptions of physical reality need romance? I'm not describing emotional detail. I'm talking about physical phenomenon: Her orgasm and the feeling of holding one back or denying sensation an inordinate amount of time - period. This isn't a romance novel, I'm not sure why anyone would expect it to sound like one. When I'm referring to a very specific thing, why on earth would I involve all sorts of warm and fuzzy mumbo jumbo? It would be irrelevant and beside my point.

Also, if someone tries to give me multiples, I'm going to gouge their eyes out and cuss them out in every known language. When I'm done, I'm done... continuing feels torturously horrible. Different strokes for different folks, except you, you know what's "best".


----------



## ScarletBegonias

doubletrouble said:


> I absolutely crave going down on my lover.


awww that reminds me of things my DH has said regarding how he feels about me  so sweet!!


----------



## ScarletBegonias

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I've stated 2 distinct things. 1 - most men experience this "hold off" I refer to, and its not very fun, and at its worst uncomfortable. Its kinda sucky when this happens. Its one of the reasons I put so much emphasis into foreplay - to ensure she gets off at least once, and its more likely to get off a second time during PIV. Either way ensuring more pleasurable sex for both of us. The scenario where undesirable "holding back" may become necessary is where SHE ended foreplay or its not possible given other constraints - and even then only if she's taking an inordinate amount of time to get there.


DH and I talked about that just today actually. He didn't express that it was unpleasant to hold out though. He said he does it to make his orgasm more intense and to see if he can make me end via PIV more than once He's VERY big on making me O via oral before he'll do anything else. The reason is twofold. 1.because I love it. 2.because it gets him turned on more than anything else.

ETA I tend to O pretty fast from what I understand based on reading tam stuff.So he's not holding out for a ridiculous amount of time so maybe that's why it isn't uncomfortable or sucky for him?


----------



## ocotillo

ScarletBegonias said:


> ETA I tend to O pretty fast from what I understand based on reading tam stuff.So he's not holding out for a ridiculous amount of time so maybe that's why it isn't uncomfortable or sucky for him?


That's one of the things I've wondered about since coming to TAM. If you open up a college level textbook on human sexuality or go to WebMD or a similar site, you'll get estimated averages in the 7 to 14 minute range for PIV, which sounds about right. (But what do I know?)

My impression from reading TAM has been different. Apparently this forum attracts sexual virtuosos and their spouses.


----------



## ScarletBegonias

ocotillo said:


> That's one of the things I've wondered about since coming to TAM. If you open up a college level textbook on human sexuality or go to WebMD or a similar site, you'll get estimated averages in the 7 to 14 minute range for PIV, which sounds about right. (But what do I know?)
> 
> My impression from reading TAM has been different. Apparently this forum attracts sexual virtuosos and their spouses.


lol maybe

I was thinking of thread,can't remember the title,from a loong time ago that talked about orgasm times. It seemed ladies who O'd in less than 10mins were not the norm.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

ScarletBegonias said:


> ETA I tend to O pretty fast from what I understand based on reading tam stuff.So he's not holding out for a ridiculous amount of time so maybe that's why it isn't uncomfortable or sucky for him?


Some women accelerate like rabbits, and others accelerate like tortoises... and time varies even with one woman from time to time. Oral is so awesome because of the feeling it gives me to make even most tortoises turn into rabbits. If there's no foreplay and she's being a tortoise... there's only so long before hey, this is getting old... effing O already, I'm tired of keeping mine back.

Any woman who thinks I'm being unreasonable here has only to have a guy who can't get over the top keeping going at it to the point that you begin to get raw and sore... at some point, it stops being fun. Not a 1 for 1 comparision, but its the closest women can get. Eventually, no matter how long you went or how wonderful it was getting there, a guy gets to a point where he wants to be done.... but you hold out longer for her... and you hold out... and you hold out... and you hold out... I can keep on doing this... but it kinda sucks even if she does finally get off. If she doesn't, well you were holding off and getting lesser enjoyment for no reason and get a dose of failure for good measure.

Somebody else can prefer all that jazz. I'm going to look for someone more compatible. I wouldn't stay with a woman who I difficulty getting off and regularly have to experience this - its not very fun. I don't care if its my not liking what she likes or if its entirely her own difficulty with everyone... its irrelevant - I enjoy getting her off. Its a nice part of my sexual pleasure and I want it. Sexual compatibility is as important as any other kind.


----------



## Created2Write

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> No, your extrapolations are cold. I'm up in arms about your opinions because you people are in lala land with your mischaracterizations. Its obnoxious. I haven't contradicted myself even once. I challenge you to point out even ONE contradiction. You and the lady brigade jumped off a cliff into obnoxiously off base JUDGMENTS of my sex life based on two entirely innocuous descriptions of PHYSICAL REALITY.


A physical reality that none of us has experienced with our husbands. If that puts me in la la land, then fine. You care way, way too much about what we think. 



> I've stated 2 distinct things. 1 - most men have experienced this "hold off" I refer to, and its not very fun, and at its worst its somewhat uncomfortable. Its kinda sucky. Men participating in the thread confirm its existence and undesirablility.


What I have is my experience with my husband, and it is exactly contrary to what you've described. It also goes against everything I've researched about the male orgasm. I'm sorry, but a few men on a forum doesn't change what I have experienced and researched. If it kinda sucks for you to hold off on your orgasm so that your partner can get one, then I'm sorry that it kinda sucks. I don't think it has to based on what I've read, which is really my only point as far as that is concerned. 



> Its one of the reasons I put so much emphasis into foreplay - to ensure she gets off at least once, and its more likely to get off a second time during PIV. Either way ensuring more pleasurable sex for both of us. The scenario where undesirable "holding back" may become necessary is where SHE ended foreplay or its not possible given other constraints - and even then only if she's taking an inordinate amount of time to get there. 2 - that I don't do anything sexual after PIV finish. Even my gf thinks continuing while she's leaking me out of her is gross - whether it would be my mouth, fingers or otherwise.


Then you guys are compatible. Why freak out over what I think? 



> Maybe your hubby is down with oral after that, more power to him, I'm not. Your judgment of this is the equivalent of judging someone who doesn't give bjs because they don't like to. That's pure preference and you should rightly be called out for being so obnoxiously judgmental and then jumping to all sorts of bogus conclusions.


And by "rightly" calling me out, you throw out an irrelevant insult by saying that I deserved to be abandoned by one of my closest friends during the single most painful experience of my life? Look, I'm cool with you calling me obnoxiously judgmental. I absolutely think your attitude is selfish and entitled, and yeah. That's judgmental of me. No argument there. But you are WAY out of line bringing *my miscarriage* into all of this. There is absolutely no reason to be so immature and sensitive. And I bet you'll pretend you didn't even say it. 



> The cold you describe is completely foreign to me... a wild leap of your own imagination. Do my descriptions of physical reality need romance? I'm not describing emotional detail. I'm talking about physical phenomenon: Her orgasm and the feeling of holding one back or denying sensation an inordinate amount of time - period. This isn't a romance novel, I'm not sure why anyone would expect it to sound like one. When I'm referring to a very specific thing, why on earth would I involve all sorts of warm and fuzzy mumbo jumbo? It would be irrelevant and beside my point.


What the heck are you talking about? I didn't say anything about romance. Look, you have a gf who is satisfied with your sexual stipulations. I really am glad. You wouldn't give OS after sex, fine. Your preference. I wouldn't have sex with someone who tried to tell me when I could orgasm. 



> Also, if someone tries to give me multiples, I'm going to gouge their eyes out and cuss them out in every known language. When I'm done, I'm done... continuing feels torturously horrible. Different strokes for different folks, except you, you know what's "best".


I know what's best for me, yes. Look, there's nothing wrong with your preferences. And since your gf likes them, you have no reason to be so upset.


----------



## ocotillo

Created2Write said:


> What I have is my experience with my husband, and it is exactly contrary to what you've described. It also goes against everything I've researched about the male orgasm. I'm sorry, but a few men on a forum doesn't change what I have experienced and researched.


Men who actually suffer from PE are often willing to apply a numbing preparation to their member and wear a condom during intercourse. (So the preparation doesn't rub off and numb her too..)

Could we agree that this (At least) would be sucky?


----------



## Created2Write

ocotillo said:


> Men who actually suffer from PE are often willing to apply a numbing preparation to their member and wear a condom during intercourse. (So the preparation doesn't rub off and numb her too..)
> 
> Could we agree that this (At least) would be sucky?


Absolutely.


----------



## larry.gray

Catherine602 said:


> Simultaneous orgasms, is there such a thing?
> 
> You haven't been reading that romantic trash have you? It doesn't sound like you are talking about sex. Intellectual, cold machine-like passionless action on cue.
> 
> How do you synchronize - surveil each other and look for signs of an upheaval? It's always exactly the same, is that how you can tell??? You don't get lost in the moment.
> 
> There is soooo much talking and thinking. It's not a show, competition or an audition. Just get into, get some passion heat and feeling; forget yourself and lose yourself. You are like a virgin, you haven't even scratched the surface.


Prior to giving birth, wifey and I had mutual orgasms at least 50% of the time. It wasn't a challenge - it almost seemed automatic. Usually one of us going off would set off the other. Mostly she'd start and I'd go as she was.

Post childbirth the rate dropped quite a bit because she became less orgasmic from PIV. We can do this maybe 20% of the time now. A lot of it depends on how long it is between sessions because the time I take changes so much. At the two day mark it is almost always that we do.


----------



## always_alone

ocotillo said:


> I wouldn't know, AA. Fellatio is not something I've ever experienced personally.
> 
> Obviously our observations here are colored by our own life experience. Mine, for a good chunk of my life has been a fairly typical HD/LD relationship. The pleasure and reward of sex has always been her elusive 'O'.


. I'm sorry, ocotillo.

You are right: vastly different mindsets and experiences. 

Unfathomable.


----------



## always_alone

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Any woman who thinks I'm being unreasonable here has only to have a guy who can't get over the top keeping going at it to the point that you begin to get raw and sore... at some point, it stops being fun. Not a 1 for 1 comparision, but its the closest women can get. Eventually, no matter how long you went or how wonderful it was getting there, a guy gets to a point where he wants to be done.... but you hold out longer for her... and you hold out... and you hold out... and you hold out... I can keep on doing this... but it kinda sucks even if she does finally get off. If she doesn't, well you were holding off and getting lesser enjoyment for no reason and get a dose of failure for good measure.


You see, this is exactly where, if I were a guy, I would just pop off and take care of her after. Win/win, I say, because you get what you want and she gets what she wants.

Indeed, I have done similar in your analogous situation. I can't take anymore PIV, I stop it and go for something else.

I think what some of the women here are suggesting is that you have rather exacting and stringent standards of sexual compatibility, which all sound rather difficult and unpleasant to meet. But I guess you're doing fine, so who cares what we think?


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Created2Write said:


> A physical reality that none of us has experienced with our husbands. If that puts me in la la land, then fine. You care way, way too much about what we think.


Are you in his mind? 



Created2Write said:


> What I have is my experience with my husband, and it is exactly contrary to what you've described. It also goes against everything I've researched about the male orgasm. I'm sorry, but a few men on a forum doesn't change what I have experienced and researched. If it kinda sucks for you to hold off on your orgasm so that your partner can get one, then I'm sorry that it kinda sucks. I don't think it has to based on what I've read, which is really my only point as far as that is concerned.


You're confusing desired self-denial in the ramping up process to undesired self-denial when ramping up is complete and the guy is sprinting to get hers. He can last as long as he wants to even if only by changing the pace or slowing down... but that doesn't generally get her closer to hers. At some point or another, a guy is ready to be done... and is trying to get her off. If he's close, the harder he goes for hers means the more he has to hold back and last if she's not getting there. The purpose is to push her over the top, not slow down and start again - that's likely already happened... repeatedly. This edged state isn't much fun unlike the one you've done all your research on. This edged state isn't totally voluntary, its somewhat compelled by our desire to get you off. Its simply not very enjoyable to be on the verge of climax and needing to hold it back trying to get her over the top. Its not an all the time occurrence, but women have absolutely nothing that relates to it and experiencing it might provide a little insight into the conflict between male desire to meet performance expectations vs his own sexual enjoyment.



Created2Write said:


> Then you guys are compatible. Why freak out over what I think?


You're judgmental and blatantly mischaracterizing. 




Created2Write said:


> And by "rightly" calling me out, you throw out an irrelevant insult by saying that I deserved to be abandoned by one of my closest friends during the single most painful experience of my life? Look, I'm cool with you calling me obnoxiously judgmental. I absolutely think your attitude is selfish and entitled, and yeah. That's judgmental of me. No argument there. But you are WAY out of line bringing *my miscarriage* into all of this. There is absolutely no reason to be so immature and sensitive. And I bet you'll pretend you didn't even say it.


I brought your MISCARRIAGE into it??? I brought your former best friend into it. I can't even describe a less than desirable physical sensation in a very specific scenario to you without you going into a tirade about my selfishness, entitlement and cold sex. You not only judge, you invent the majority of what you judge and are carried away by your own inventions. I wouldn't be your friend either.



Created2Write said:


> I wouldn't have sex with someone who tried to tell me when I could orgasm.


Oh... I'm telling someone when to orgasm now? I'm not just selfish, entitled and cold... I'm totalitarian now. Where exactly am I telling someone when they can orgasm? I try to get her orgasm before PIV and am usually successful. I try to make her orgasm during PIV. If she wants an orgasm after PIV, she can do it herself. I already gave her ample opportunity. If she turned down foreplay or OS in advance then that's on her if PIV is unreliable for her. After PIV, I'm tired. Finished. Not interested in continuing. I'm damn sure not interested in tasting myself on her... maybe your hubby enjoys doing so, I don't. To each his own.



Created2Write said:


> I know what's best for me, yes. Look, there's nothing wrong with your preferences. And since your gf likes them, you have no reason to be so upset.


Oh please. When you blatantly mischaracterize, stigmatize and dramatize the nature of my sex life for seemingly no reason but to insult me for describing the sensation of holding back an orgasm while needing to thrust away trying to get a woman off... something I have no idea why you'd react with such hostility to... I have *every* reason to be.

I'm no longer going to be however, because I'm done talking to you. Its a good day.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> You see, this is exactly where, if I were a guy, I would just pop off and take care of her after. Win/win, I say, because you get what you want and she gets what she wants.
> 
> Indeed, I have done similar in your analogous situation. I can't take anymore PIV, I stop it and go for something else.


Yep, that would be a win/win if that situation was okay with me. Its not. In addition to being exhausted, I find the whole post PIV process to be an awkward mess that I'm not a fan of. I'm leaking out of her or she goes and cleans up, I'm fumbling with a towel myself. I'm catching my breath, I'm hot, I'm sweaty. She's sweaty and gooey. None of this says sexy moment to me that should be continued. The sexy times are over. I brought this subject up to my gf after women freaked out about it here, and she thinks its absolutely gross. She wouldn't want me down there after PIV. She's all puffy, super sensitive and has all manner of natural lubing substance and my semen down there. Her response was hell to the no she wouldn't want to continue - whether she got off or not. In fact, she says I go too long on rare occasion trying to get hers when she really wants me to finish. She can't explain why, but she knows on these rare occasions that she's not going to be able to get off and my continuing for her benefit doesn't matter. Says if she wants another go she'll hit me up later for a second round and after we shower.



always_alone said:


> I think what some of the women here are suggesting is that you have rather exacting and stringent standards of sexual compatibility, which all sound rather difficult and unpleasant to meet. But I guess you're doing fine, so who cares what we think?


What is so exacting or difficult about not continuing after PIV? Is it any different from a woman choosing not to give blowjobs to completion? I make no demand that a woman orgasm during PIV. I pointed out OS prior is my go to... and doing so usually even makes it more likely she'll go again during PIV. But at some point, I'm going to orgasm during PIV... whether she has or not. I've never had a PE issue - I generally last as long as I desire to. If I wait too long, I might have a delayed ejaculation issue - going forever; or a ruined orgasm. Its not fun. I'm providing more than enough time for most women who can get off PIV to do so. If she wants something after PIV, we're not compatible. I very much don't. If either of us regularly has a hard time getting off, we're not compatible. I either of us doesn't enjoy and have fun, then we're not compatible. Common preferences and full satisfaction are the definition of compatibility no? If I can't get her off, or she has a hard time getting off... I wouldn't be satisfied any more than she was.


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## ScarletBegonias

DH would jump out of bed so high he'd be stuck to the ceiling if I tried to touch his dong after he came already. Nothing exacting or stringent about that sh*t LOL


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## Catherine602

larry.gray said:


> Prior to giving birth, wifey and I had mutual orgasms at least 50% of the time. It wasn't a challenge - it almost seemed automatic. Usually one of us going off would set off the other. Mostly she'd start and I'd go as she was.
> 
> Post childbirth the rate dropped quite a bit because she became less orgasmic from PIV. We can do this maybe 20% of the time now. A lot of it depends on how long it is between sessions because the time I take changes so much. At the two day mark it is almost always that we do.


I didn't know that was possible. 

Your wife is uncommon maybe? So many women can't orgasm by PIV and it not 100% of the time. I've never had a PIV orgasm. Not for lack of trying.


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## kilgore

but, what if u were a guy for a day and, for that 1 day, you had a really small ****. wouldn't u be like, "wtf?!"


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## Faithful Wife

Like in Bedazzled!


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## ocotillo

Faithful Wife said:


> Like in Bedazzled!


LOL - "Damn the devil to hell.."


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## EasyPartner

Catherine602 said:


> I didn't know that was possible.
> 
> Your wife is uncommon maybe? So many women can't orgasm by PIV and it not 100% of the time. I've never had a PIV orgasm. Not for lack of trying.


:scratchhead:

Learning new stuff by the day here... in my experience: 

-most women I've been intimate with (a select few, so this may be all coincidence), WANT or sometimes even NEED PIV to get to O. Even ex-wife, LD and all;

-coming together is hardly exceptional;

-foreplay, although greatly appreciated, especially oral, is often cut short because she wants that P in her V NOW! 

-because of this, I find myself kinda continuing foreplay while PIV (you know, like teasing and going slow just past the entrance) because once I reach cruise speed in there, there's no stopping and a few minutes later (the above mentioned 10 to 14 minutes seem accurate), even while changing to different positions, I will pop. 
Especially doggy style (which has become GF's way of saying "come in me now! Im ready for the motherload!)

To all of you men who can hold it off indefinitely and/or can have multiple O's (except if you're still in your twenties or early thirties), more power to you.

Oh yeah and I agree with Dvls... when I'm done, I'm done. Cuddling and some kissing OK, but that's it. Not going down there anymore in any way.


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## ScarletBegonias

Faithful Wife said:


> Like in Bedazzled!





ocotillo said:


> LOL - "Damn the devil to hell.."


:rofl::rofl::rofl: I love that movie


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## NobodySpecial

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> A
> You're confusing desired self-denial in the ramping up process to undesired self-denial when ramping up is complete and the guy is sprinting to get hers. He can last as long as he wants to even if only by changing the pace or slowing down... but that doesn't generally get her closer to hers.


Does for me.


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## bkaydezz

A guy for a day...

Just grab my darn self in front of everybody. 

Yep. That one always gets me. 

OH! Show my buttcrack. :toast:


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## Created2Write

We don't have to be friends, Dvls. Your opinions about me make absolutely no difference to my personal life. You can always put me on ignore if I really am mischaracterizing you so badly. btw. You choose to keep engaging me in conversation. But no worries. You're on ignore for me now so you won't have to worry about it. I can't take the contradictions and hypocrisy of your posts any longer.


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## doubletrouble

Guy for a day... oh wait, I'm already a guy. Wrong thread. 

I love cuddling after sex. Yum. Get me all gooey and mess me up, baby! Finest cologne on earth is my woman's scent.


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## Catherine602

EasyPartner said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> Learning new stuff by the day here... in my experience:
> 
> -most women I've been intimate with (a select few, so this may be all coincidence), WANT or sometimes even NEED PIV to get to O. Even ex-wife, LD and all;
> 
> -coming together is hardly exceptional;
> 
> -foreplay, although greatly appreciated, especially oral, is often cut short because she wants that P in her V NOW!
> 
> -because of this, I find myself kinda continuing foreplay while PIV (you know, like teasing and going slow just past the entrance) because once I reach cruise speed in there, there's no stopping and a few minutes later (the above mentioned 10 to 14 minutes seem accurate), even while changing to different positions, I will pop.
> Especially doggy style (which has become GF's way of saying "come in me now! Im ready for the motherload!)
> 
> To all of you men who can hold it off indefinitely and/or can have multiple O's (except if you're still in your twenties or early thirties), more power to you.
> 
> Oh yeah and I agree with Dvls... when I'm done, I'm done. Cuddling and some kissing OK, but that's it. Not going down there anymore in any way.


I'm not an outlier, I am in the majority. 70% of woman are like me - they have clitoral orgasms primarily or solely. 30% have PIV orgasms primarily or solely. 

Simultaneous orgasms would not be possible for anything other than PIV, right? 

That's the way the real would is apparently. Those stats don't seem to hold up here in the TAM universe. 

Where you aware of the differences in women's road to orgasmic and the anatomic variations?


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## EasyPartner

Catherine602 said:


> I'm not an outlier, I am in the majority. 70% of woman are like me - they have clitoral orgasms primarily or solely. 30% have PIV orgasms primarily or solely.
> 
> Simultaneous orgasms would not be possible for anything other than PIV, right?
> 
> That's the way the real would is apparently. Those stats don't seem to hold up here in the TAM universe.
> 
> Where you aware of the differences in women's road to orgasmic and the anatomic variations?


Wasn't trying to offend you Catherine. If you're in the majority, that's fine. It's no contest.

Point was, these stats do not match my experience. At all. By now, I think I should have met at least one woman who couldn't O from PIV. So I had my doubts about the stats is all.

Then again, like I said, this may be coincidence... last 16.5 years, I only slept with three women. Not a sufficient sample to compare with stats.

And before them, only women in their twenties (or even younger in my early days), without children. Maybe this has some impact as well.

What do you mean by the anatomic variations in this context btw? Because, _basically_, P's and V's, respectively, are pretty much all alike (disregarding the extremes on the bell curve, as usual).

Tightness may be a bit down after childbirth, but I have honestly no idea if this affects a woman's capability to O from PIV.

Ludicrous analogy: V's are like cars... some are bigger, some are smaller, some are shinier, they come in different colors and trims, some are younger or faster than others, some need more lube or take more time to get to optimal working temperature... 

But they all get you where you want to go. Except if their broken


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## always_alone

Catherine602 said:


> I'm not an outlier, I am in the majority. 70% of woman are like me - they have clitoral orgasms primarily or solely. 30% have PIV orgasms primarily or solely.
> 
> Simultaneous orgasms would not be possible for anything other than PIV, right?


If I were a guy who was bent on simultaneous orgasms, I would choose positions that allowed for both PIV and clitoral stimulation (by either partner) at the same time. 

If I was very successful getting there with PIV alone, I would worry she was faking it. 

I know that technically it's possible (been there myself on rare occasion, but it's definitely is not the norm).


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## doubletrouble

Catherine602 said:


> I'm not an outlier, I am in the majority. 70% of woman are like me - they have clitoral orgasms primarily or solely. 30% have PIV orgasms primarily or solely.
> 
> *Simultaneous orgasms would not be possible for anything other than PIV, right? *
> 
> That's the way the real would is apparently. Those stats don't seem to hold up here in the TAM universe.
> 
> Where you aware of the differences in women's road to orgasmic and the anatomic variations?


Well, there's always 69....


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## Hello_Im_Maddie

I would want to experience what it is like to make love to a woman.


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## I Notice The Details

Hello_Im_Maddie said:


> I would want to experience what it is like to make love to a woman.


It is glorious to give her pleasure and see her body completely overcome by it. You could witness this first hand if you were a man...:smthumbup:

It is awesome!!!!!


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## bestwife

I want to know, what exactly man feel when he got a orgasm. This could be fantastic experience.

Is there someone who can transform me to the guy for one day?


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## I Notice The Details

bestwife said:


> I want to know, what exactly man feel when he got a orgasm. This could be fantastic experience.
> 
> Is there someone who can transform me to the guy for one day?


This can only be done on TAM....:rofl:


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## DvlsAdvc8

always_alone said:


> If I were a guy who was bent on simultaneous orgasms, I would choose positions that allowed for both PIV and clitoral stimulation (by either partner) at the same time.
> 
> If I was very successful getting there with PIV alone, I would worry she was faking it.
> 
> I know that technically it's possible (been there myself on rare occasion, but it's definitely is not the norm).


Agree, and yeah, if she orgasms too easily I do always wonder if she's faking. I also agree PIV orgasms are not the norm. It's about 75/25 for me, but that's including oral/foreplay (and surely some fakers, I'm not naïve - but most of the time you have a good idea). Absent foreplay its more like 30/70. Still, its usually women who put an end to foreplay (counterintuitive if that's the way most orgasm most easily, no? Never understood why they do this). In fact, my impression is that most women don't put that much emphasis on their orgasm - I often wonder if I'm more interested in their getting their orgasm than they are. A bonus for me is that if I get her off early, there's no pressure on me during PIV which makes it all the more enjoyable; plus, she's more likely to have another. A good percentage of the time her O triggers my O and there you have it.

I'm a big fan of doggy for the very reason that my hands are free to reach around. Yet most of the women I've been with still prefer being face to face.

Just speaking from my own experience, but women seem to be a lot more willing and content with going without an orgasm. I'd be totally displeased, and so I assume the same of a woman. Yet virtually every woman I've been with still will still say it was great even if she didn't O. That's as difficult to believe as believing the easy orgasms are real... but its what they say when it happens.

Funny story about compatibility: sometimes, its not difficulty reaching orgasm that is a sign of incompatibility to me. One girl I was with orgasmed too easily. She'd go within 2-3 minutes of starting PIV and I ALWAYS thought she was faking. I brought it up and she was embarrassed... if not hurt by it... and all I was saying was that she didn't have to fake or yuk it up for my ego or anything. She insisted they were real, but she'd have 4+ in a 10-15 minute session (foreplay or not). About half the time, she'd reach a point of oversensitivity before I'm even close and we'd have to stop entirely. That sucked. When women don't orgasm - this feeling I had is what I imagine they feel. She'd offer to finish me off other ways, but I honestly didn't want her to have to do that (makes me feel a weird sort of guilt, tough to explain), so I'd go without. It wasn't that anyone was doing anything wrong, but that sex was just dissatisfying. More than anything else, not being on the same page sexually is why I couldn't keep that relationship. I think people sync up sexually just like some personalities sync up. I don't believe everyone is supposed to work for everyone. Some people fit together better than others.


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## DvlsAdvc8

doubletrouble said:


> Well, there's always 69....


Some people swear by this, but my experience is just the opposite. Everyone is distracted. Nobody O's. lol

For me, I have to sort of neglect one or the other. Either I'm somewhat ignoring what I'm feeling, or I'm totally neglecting my work. haha


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## Created2Write

always_alone said:


> If I were a guy who was bent on simultaneous orgasms, I would choose positions that allowed for both PIV and clitoral stimulation (by either partner) at the same time.
> 
> If I was very successful getting there with PIV alone, I would worry she was faking it.
> 
> I know that technically it's possible (been there myself on rare occasion, but it's definitely is not the norm).


Even with clitoral stimulation during PIV, it takes an incredible amount of focus to actually orgasm, and entirely takes away from the heat and passion of the moment. I orgasm easier PIV without clitoral stimulation than with it. It limits the positions you can use, some of which are kind of uncomfortable for extended periods...I don't need a simultaneous orgasm to have a mind-blowing sexual experience with my husband. They're nice when we have them, but we don't try to have them...we don't force them. We let them happen naturally, which takes all the pressure off to perform a certain way, and makes for truly satisfying, intimate, passionate, wild, crazy, rough sex.


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## ocotillo

Created2Write said:


> ...it takes an incredible amount of focus to actually orgasm, and entirely takes away from the heat and passion of the moment.


Somehow, it's reassuring in a way to know that at least some ladies fight their own version of this.


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## ScarletBegonias

ocotillo said:


> Somehow, it's reassuring in a way to know that at least some ladies fight their own version of this.


yup,it sucks lol

it's like "OK everything be PERFECTLY non distracting.Birds stop chirping.Neighbors stop mowing your lawn. kids stop screaming in your back yards. dogs stop barking. Now,DH keep doing that EXACT thing you've been doing and do NOT change it,slow down,speed up,or vary in ANY WAY or I WILL have to start all over again. ok.GO!"


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## Created2Write

ocotillo said:


> Somehow, it's reassuring in a way to know that at least some ladies fight their own version of this.


Haha!


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## heartsbeating

Late to the party. If I was a guy for a day ...predictably, I'd experience receiving oral and making love. 

I'd walk the dogs at night.
I'd rock a karaoke bar and sing The Doors as it should be done.
I'd see how it feels to lift weights at the gym.
I'd try not to be a creeper in the men's change-room.


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## EasyPartner

"A bonus for me is that if I get her off early, there's no pressure on me during PIV which makes it all the more enjoyable; plus, she's more likely to have another. A good percentage of the time her O triggers my O and there you have it."

Exactly. Especially in doggie position. Somehow, I dunno why, I can "decide" more when to come then than in other positions.

So it's a mutual buildup process. She gets closer to O, then so do I. She feels that - P reaches maximum size, thrusts get more vigorous, overall more stimulation. And boom. Simultanious O. No magic to it.


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## Sunburn

Pepper123 said:


> I would want a BJ. They appear to be magical


Done right yes they are. 

My X was sooooooo good at it that I didn't care if we had intercourse. In fact she was so good at it that if she wanted I would have let her give my best friend a BJ just to let someone else feel what perfection is like!


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## ScarletBegonias

Sunburn said:


> Done right yes they are.
> 
> My X was sooooooo good at it that I didn't care if we had intercourse. In fact she was so good at it that if she wanted I would have let her give my best friend a BJ just to let someone else feel what perfection is like!


Sounds like how my ex describes the BJ's he used to get from me. Yet my DH can't seem to get into Bjs at all. I don't even bother trying anymore.


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## Ditch

Entropy3000 said:


> This seems to be your topic. When I was a puppy. Not sure I was ever a young buck. Yeah, I could go several times so the first time, no big deal. Recover while attending to her more and then the next times it would be great but much easier to control.
> 
> This is why many of us go off very soon if we have not had sex in a while. Regular sex can allow a guy to control better.


Ladies, I can not emphasize this enough, practice makes perfect. It doesn't have to be seven times a day, but once a month, what do you expect. Also, I would like to see a guy's string on what they would do for a day or a month for that matter as a woman.


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## memyselfandi

Hmmm..not so sure I'd like to venture into a guy's can, nor use a urinal as there seems to be a certain "art" to that??

I guess if I HAD to be a guy for a day..that might be something I'd need to learn. Plus I'd probably throw a handful of Cheerios into the toilet bowl and see if I could do better than my hubby and the rest of the male population in our household does regarding hitting the "target"

One other thing. Does being a guy mean that you have to "adjust" often during the day..especially in 90 degree temps??

After a day of THAT stuff..I think I'd be happy to go back to being a girl..

BTW...it WOULD be kinda fun to try to write my name in the snow...for just a day..that would be enough for me with that "thing"...HA!!


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## chillymorn

all you ladies would have to get hit at least once right in the old nut sack. So you would under stand why we fall to the ground and roll around for 20 mins and then feel a dull ache for awhile after that!

make it at the end of the day so as not to ruin any fun you might want to have.


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## 6301

memyselfandi said:


> BTW...it WOULD be kinda fun to try to write my name in the snow...for just a day..that would be enough for me with that "thing"...HA!!


 Knew a girl that tried that. She went in the woods, found fresh snow, dropped her jeans and proceeded to try to write her name. 

Problem was she was so hell bent on doing it that she didn't give herself enough cover and all we saw was her ass moving in all kinds of directions and she finally figured out what the laughing was all about when she started pulling her pants up and she saw all of us. Good thing there were no cell phones back then. We never checked to see if she completed her task.


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## Angela Goodnight

This is a very frustrating blog. I spent about thirty minutes replying to this thread and when I posted it it never appeared and I can only assume that it was rejected because it contained a link to the item I had been referring to which is far too long to repeat here.

Anyway, on our blog we did a post about the differences between male and female orgasms, ejaculations (both) and our feelings about swapping sides for a while. I won't put the link on here again, but I can tell you how to find it. 

Go to my blog which you can search for through my name, Angela Goodnight, and add the word blog. On the right of the site you will see a search box. Enter "Do male or female orgasms" and hit return and that should find it. 

Enjoy.
:smthumbup:


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## Angela Goodnight

Easier way to find that post. Click my name at the left and select 'go to my home page' then search "Do male or female orgasms" in the search box on the right of the site.


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## Sunburn

memyselfandi said:


> Hmmm..not so sure I'd like to venture into a guy's can, nor use a urinal as there seems to be a certain "art" to that??


From what I have heard men's restrooms are often cleaner than women's. I dated a woman for a while that ran a cleaning service and she would comment on how even at places like banks, where most of the tellers were women, the areas around the teller stations and the break room were always trashed. Maybe it's because when a person knows they don't have to clean it they are less inclined to care for it........more so for women it seems.

Oh and there's no art to using a urinal, it's like a camera, just point and shoot. However.......there is a man rule to not wear khaki colored pants on a first date because of the possibility of splash.


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## RaiderGirl

Serious: I want to walk at night in an unfamiliar place and not feel the kind of fear only a woman fears.

Sexual: I would like to feel what shooting a load feels like. I know its not like mine. I want to know what its like to be inside someone. Like IN their body.

Other: I want to be happy with 3 pairs of shoes.


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## memyselfandi

I'mmmm not so sure I'd wanna be a guy for a day to be honest since that thing has a mind of it's own..

Itchy sweaty balls, re-adjusting, complaining about jeans with no "ball room", knowing where to stand in the guys can, urinals, boxers or briefs, hitting the so called, "target" in the toilet so you don't have to wipe the seat afterwards (not to mention forgetting to put the seat down), morning wood, etc.

How the heck do you men survive??

HA!!


----------



## memyselfandi

But then again..besides the whole "weiner" things that comes with being a guy your whole life..

I often wonder what it's like to be able to belch, fart, itch and scratch, etc. in public while most people don't give you a second glance...

Bad enough when you do it at home while most wives just laugh and roll their eyes..(yep...that's when we KNOW the wrappers came off and if you're just in a relationship and not married..know that THEN you're "for keeps"..)

HOWEVER..if it were a woman doing those things..LOL..and LOL again!!!!


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## VermisciousKnid

Sunburn said:


> Oh and there's no art to using a urinal, it's like a camera, just point and shoot. However.......there is a man rule to not wear khaki colored pants on a first date *because of the possibility of splash.*


Really? I never heard that one. If you aim straight back at the wall of the urinal of course there will be splash. But if you aim down to where the wall meets the water you are usually good, no?

But judging by the amount of pee on the floor below urinals I'm guessing that a fair number of guys stand a few inches back because of the feared splash problem. In so doing, they trade it for a pee splash on shoe problem.


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## Unique Username

I just thought of something and it made me chuckle

I would find my ex-husband in a dark alley and I would kick his ass up one side and down the other until he pleaded for mercy.

The other thing that would be interesting is to see if I were paid more at my jobs or offered other perks for being a different gender.


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## DvlsAdvc8

The urinals will get you. If you stand back, you splash more and look like a retard. If you're in close, you can be hit whether shooting at the wall or at the hockey puck. There's no winning. The pee will get you when it wants to. It most wants to when you're wearing light colored pants and have to look good.


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## skype

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> The urinals will get you. If you stand back, you splash more and look like a retard. If you're in close, you can be hit whether shooting at the wall or at the hockey puck. There's no winning. The pee will get you when it wants to. It most wants to when you're wearing light colored pants and have to look good.


This is why I love TAM. Where else can you find such intimate details about the life of men?


----------

