# I need advice on taking back my husband...(long, sorry)



## Tangled (Nov 11, 2010)

Hi I am new here I have been married since May of 2009 and on Sept.30 2010 my husband left me. He left that morning to work and then called me and said he was on his way to alabama cause his grandmother and mom were veryy ill and grandmother might die. Well I begged him to come back for me, I even bought a plane ticket to meet him there but he refused to take my calls or answer my txts, and when he did it was only to insult me or he would call from a bathroom which is highly unusual for him. I then found out from his ex who is a manipulative crack head that he was out there with another woman and therefore the reason he wasnt taking my calls and why he didnt take me. he denies it to this day. We have a home that is only in his name, I have been here still and he's been staying who knows where since he left but more recently started calling me wanting to come home. now its been well over a month and during his absence he cut off my cell phone, cable,home phone, internet, and car insurance, refused to deposit money into the bank so I could pay my car and have gas to look for a job because I have been a stay at home mom to my children,we don't have children together but we were actively trying to concieve as we just had my tubes reversed this past May. Aside all that I didn't know what else to do and my kids dad who is a good friend to me and was to my husband as well, gave up his place and came to stay with us so he could pay our bills. Thing is we have been looking for a new place to stay because my husband had been calling me (on the new phone my ex got me) and saying to me that we need to give him his house back and making all kinds of threats about how he's gonna send the police here to throw out my ex,well I told him I couldn't just throw him out because he didn't have a place to go immediately I asked for 2 weeks to get a place and he's been talking to me sweet this whole time and saying how wonderful things will be but in the mean time I have been packing all our things and have put a deposit on a home that we plan on moving to My kids,kids dad,and I. now here's where it gets tricky,I do love my husband and want things to go back to normal but I can't screw over my kid's dad, he has been there for me so much and kept me sane and kept me from killing myself when I got left by my husband. He was no super husband himself when we were married for 12 years but him and I have become close friends and he works hard to keep everything paid. Unlike my husband who has a decent job but has not paid the mortgage in over a year. Well I know this is long but any advice would help I am confi=used as to what to do we need to be out by tomoro and still waiting on the final paperwork to be drawn up on the new home..


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

It would be best for you to get a place for yourself and your kids with no men - get some counseling. Figure out what to do about your husband - either keep him or jettison him.

Having several men involved with one woman won't allow you to see clearly and will convince both of them they're being jacked around.


----------



## Kaitlin (Nov 10, 2010)

It does sound as though your husband was up to no good, but trusting his "crack head" ex? Doesn't sound right to me. I would never take the word of any of my husband's ex girlfriends over his. And bringing your ex into the family home while he was gone was not acceptable. I understand he left you destitute, but there are plenty of other ways to go about this--women and children's shelters even that would provide you with a place to live, food to eat, and assistance with job placement. It sounds to me like you need to cut ties with both men and figure out what you want. The instability this situation is causing your children to no doubt feel could do irreparable harm, so please put them first.


----------



## Tangled (Nov 11, 2010)

Kaitlin said:


> It does sound as though your husband was up to no good, but trusting his "crack head" ex? Doesn't sound right to me. I would never take the word of any of my husband's ex girlfriends over his. And bringing your ex into the family home while he was gone was not acceptable. I understand he left you destitute, but there are plenty of other ways to go about this--women and children's shelters even that would provide you with a place to live, food to eat, and assistance with job placement. It sounds to me like you need to cut ties with both men and figure out what you want. The instability this situation is causing your children to no doubt feel could do irreparable harm, so please put them first.


OMG a shelter?? are you serious? no that's not an option.. I have teenage children and And i am putting my kids first thats the reason why their dad is here helping. I was stupid to ask for advice here. and that was his ex wife who has 4 kids with him , no I don't trust her but she has been a big factor in ruining us. aside from all that I have made up my mind and no the kids dad will not be disposed of as he is the only one there to help me even more so than family, I am not used to having to work and in my condition emotionally I couldn't work anyhow, yes I may be spoiled but I am a good mom and I keep my children well clothed and fed, No I won't go to a shelter and no I wont get rid of their dad they need him more than I do and I am doing this for them.


----------

