# The Day and Night Guy that Doesn't Talk?



## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Since joining a few online dating websites like ******* and Plenty of Fish, I have come across some guys, I have talked too. One of them, him and I hit it off, and he told me on the dating site, that he'd like to hang out, and wanted my number. He also mentioned that he worked night shifts, so he would sleep during the day. BUT I can still see him on the dating site on and off throughout the day, so he's up and sleeping I guess?

Anyway, we exchanged numbers, and this is how it played out, after giving him my number June 17th, I figured he would text me all night or at least a couple of hours, while he worked at night, but he did not. The next day he texts me at 9AM and that was it for the whole day when night fell, he texted me twice and that was it.

Why go and tell me, that you want to hang out, and want my number and then you barely talk to me at all? And then his schedule is weird so that makes it more difficult to chat as well.

What to do? Keep talking to this guy or cut him free?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Cut him loose.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Do both. Chat with other guys. If he comes back great. If not continue with other guys. 

Do not invest emotionally in him. Wait until many in person dates for that. MANY people are not what they say there are. 

BTW. I am very rich and look like Brad Pitt. I am only here on TAM because I own the company. ?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Anyone who's words don't match up with their actions (even in the little things) is a red flag waving... unfortunately you'll probably find more of those on dating sites -by far over the authentic.. just see it for what it is.. and move along... more fish in the sea.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Hey, Nataly, how goes it?


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Hey, Nataly, how goes it?


I was just thinking the exact same BL. 
The tone & storyline is eerily familiar... 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"There *might be *some truth that women are smarter than men."

Might be? :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Just kidding.:wink2:


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Could be married....I think I would let him go and not make contact again. Someone who is really interested will make the effort.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> Why kind of music do you listen to? What do you have in your dating profile? Maybe we can help with that to get you better quality men.


From memory she liked punk type music and her men 'goth'. :grin2:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Kylie84 said:


> From memory she liked punk type music and her men 'goth'. :grin2:


Then she should send him some links to her favourite music.

OP, do you look like this?









If so, he'd be putty in your hands!


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Then she should send him some links to her favourite music.
> 
> OP, do you look like this?
> 
> ...


I wish I did, she looks better than me. And this is what I look like -


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

musicdiva said:


> I wish I did, she looks better than me. And this is what I look like -


Oh. You look much better than her.

Gosh.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Ha her style is what I'd like to be but I can't pull it off that well.


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## mitchell (May 19, 2014)

Nataly, you're beautiful. Why did you change your username?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I think that many people like to take it slowly and if he doesn't know you, he may not be that invested in you, so why bombard you with tons of texts? Maybe he just wants to take it slowly. Maybe he's talking to other people too, like you should be.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

musicdiva said:


> He also mentioned that he worked night shifts, so he would sleep during the day. BUT I can still see him on the dating site on and off throughout the day, so he's up and sleeping I guess?


You're too needy... He's not your boyfriend so he can talk to whoever he wants. You're already stalking him online. I agree he shouldn't of lied but technically it's not like he's doing anything wrong by talking to other women. You should be talking to other men too.



musicdiva said:


> after giving him my number June 17th, I figured he would text me all night


Woah, woah, woah, slow your roll a little. Texting all night?!? Way too needy..... Texting is for scheduling the date. Is their some reason you're putting your eggs in one basket and mentally planning your future already with this guy.

You sound like you REALLY need to be alone for a while and are clearly not ready to start dating.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I am ready to start dating. Not my fault these guys don't want to take interest in me.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

They wont take interest in someone who comes across as needy, most guys hate that. Most PEOPLE in general hate that actually.
And I totally agree with Blueinbr, saying you need to get a job as it will help your life. My own experience when I got my first proper job was very positive in terms of self confidence and independence and that in turn helped my social life wonderfully.
Even if you took something as a volunteer to start you off?


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## Pinksapphire (Jun 18, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Do both. Chat with other guys. If he comes back great. If not continue with other guys.
> 
> Do not invest emotionally in him. Wait until many in person dates for that. MANY people are not what they say there are.
> 
> BTW. I am very rich and look like Brad Pitt. I am only here on TAM because I own the company. ?


Oh that is good advice 😄


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I would get a job, but my parents are picky with what job I get. Like for example, I told them "let me drive for Uber" they say "No, what if your late picking up the person, or get into accident and we get sued, or you get stabbed or hurt, like the news reports". Then another job I asked them about "What about dog walking, walk other people's dogs or take care of their pets". They reply with "What if the dog, your walking, gets off their leash and hit by a car, and we get sued or this happens, or you get bit by the dog, or the animal gets lost, you will be responsible" Other similar job instances were like "I could work at a retail store, but it would be graveyard shift" there reply was "If your working 1AM until 5AM, who will pick you up? You driving home that early is dangerous so early in the morning, a hobo could attack you, or something bad could happen". Another job was "What about being a crossing guard, helping the kids cross the street before and after school". They replied by "The intersections are crazy in the area, you may be working at, what if you get hit by a car, or the kid disobeys you etc."

It's always like this, when it comes to my parents, they have also told me, IF I were you ever get a job, they would let me drive the car, I do have a driver's license, but since I am a new driver, their insurance would be pricey, and they are afraid I may get into an accident or something bad could happen. Or they offer to give me a ride or tell me to take the bus, never allowing me to ever drive, even though I have a driver's license.

So you see, I can get a job, but my parents always point out what could happen and shut it down. So not sure what to do about it, so I don't work. Only do my freelance writing and photography online for different websites, magazines, and newspapers but it doesn't pay.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Seriously?

You're choosing a job based on what your PARENTS say?

Time to grow up.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

turnera2 said:


> Seriously?
> 
> You're choosing a job based on what your PARENTS say?
> 
> Time to grow up.


I pick the jobs I want, and they always tell me ways it won't work out. Its not my fault.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

musicdiva said:


> I pick the jobs I want, and they always tell me ways it won't work out. Its not my fault.


How old are you?! This is what 16 year olds say.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

turnera2 said:


> How old are you?! This is what 16 year olds say.


I am 28 and since it's their house, their rules.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It seems nothing is your fault. Can't get a job because of parents. Can't get a date because they don't like you. Waaaa! 

At 28, your virginity is pretty much worthless to you. At 40, it's going to be a joke. Take hold of the reins of your life and start living.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I am trying to make my life, my own, but it just isn't going the way I want it too.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Find a roommate or three and move in with them at the same time you start your new job. End of problem.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

turnera2 said:


> Find a roommate or three and move in with them at the same time you start your new job. End of problem.


Ha, I am never going to work.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What do you mean?


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

spinsterdurga said:


> Why???


Because she seems to WANT her parents to object to every possible career so she can focus her time on finding a singular male to assume her parents responsibilities.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

I think she's looking for a sugar daddy. Good luck with that. I have no respect for people like this.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Why can't you just get a job at a normal, non-night shift job? What about sales or daytime retail? There should be plenty of easy jobs to get, even for someone in their 20's with no college degree.

Why are you parents so paranoid about you doing something wrong and them getting sued?

If I were you, I would try to accomplish the following, in this order (assuming you currently have NO money)

1. Get a job..doesn't matter what. ANY Income is better than nothing. Work at a local Fast food or Grocery store if you need to.
2. Save up enough money to buy your own car (again, assuming you don't have one)
3. Find a cheap place to rent with roommates.
4. Move out and work on gaining your independence (also, get a better job/career eventually).

After you hit Step 3 or 4, I think you'll be more prepared to pursue the relationships you're after.

EDIT: After posting this, it looks like you really DON'T Want to work, and use your parents concerns as a crutch to support your lack of desire to find a job.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I cannot get a job, because I hardly have ANY experience in the work field. No place will hire me with no experience. YES I know go volunteer, that will get you experience blah blah blah. BUT I DO NOT want to work for FREE. I already work for FREE as a freelance writer and it sucks. Why work for free elsewhere on top of that? I live in California, rent here is $1,200 plus for a apartment, room mates or not. I can't afford that, plus the regular bills, with a fast food or regular retail job. I DO NOT want to go back to school and be in debt either. Waste of time and money. And I can't handle those classes, they are too hard. And school is just not for me.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)




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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

musicdiva said:


> I am trying to make my life, my own, but it just isn't going the way I want it too.


I'm going to put it to you this way... In today's society it takes TWO incomes to be independent. 

As for the housewife thing on your other thread, I was once out of work for a year and focussed on helping to raise the kids. OMG that was an eye opener!!!!! Here are a few things you run into with that:

• Can you heat a baby bottle when the microwave breaks?
• Can you baby proof everything in your house?
• Can you clean baby poo off of the bathroom cabinets, mirror, and floor?
• Can you stand watching Barney 24/7?
• You know that stretchy string that will keep pulling out of your socks when one comes loose and it will keep pulling and pulling and pulling. Can you pull about six feet of that string from your child's digestive system when he/she starts choking on a sock hanging half way out of their mouth? 
• When your child has a high fever and is throwing up everywhere, you OK sitting for three hours in the pediatrician's office with other sick kids?
• Can you plan and prepare your household taxes?
• Can you assemble a Bouncy Bouncer Step 1 Super Playland from Toys R Us?
• Can you disassemble a Bouncy Bouncer Step 1 Super Playland from Toys R Us and return it when you find out it is defective?
• Can you learn to go to the post office with: extra diapers, bottle, child seat, stroller, play toys, change of cloths, wipes, trash bags, and a back up binky?
• Disassemble a stroller and run parts with vomit through the washer.
• Clean rice pudding off the ceiling?
• Respond to a 911 emergency room situation when your child stops breathing due to severe congestion.
• Remember to NOT let you child get his/her hands on a lemon under any circumstances that came with your ice water at a restaurant. 
• Scold your parents when they try to insist your child is ready to go to the lake without a life vest. 
• Take your child for swimming lessons.
• Replace binky when binky is officially lost and there are no hopes of finding another anywhere.

*...ummm yeah, it is way the **** easier to just get a job!!!!! *This is what men learned a long time ago. We go into the office where everything is quiet, orderly, and our very attractive assistants help take care of us!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

How old were you when you started dressing like a woman?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

badsanta said:


> I'm going to put it to you this way... In today's society it takes TWO incomes to be independent.
> 
> As for the housewife thing on your other thread, I was once out of work for a year and focussed on helping to raise the kids. OMG that was an eye opener!!!!! Here are a few things you run into with that:
> 
> ...


How about, I never have to worry about that stuff, because I AM NEVER having kids. BOOM


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> Ok, you do not "work" as a freelancer writer. You blog. It is not work. You do not get paid so that is not work as we are talking about.
> 
> Nearly every poster her got there first job, maybe minimum wage. I worked in a deli, minimum wage, slicing bologna and cheese. Great job. It was right next to the bakery where all the girls worked. So so many people my age and potential friends.
> 
> ...


That is BS. I have applied to 10 McDONALDS, JACK IN THE BOXES etc. AND NOT 1 CALLED ME BACK SO. SO MUCH FOR YOU SAYING ENTRY LEVEL NO EXPERIENCE CAN GET YOU THIS JOB BLAH BLAH.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

@badsanta- Yep you missed the post where she had specified she just wants to sit on her a$$ all day at home, and NOT have kids.
This is a 10year old trapped in a 28 year old female's body.

Im not saying that because she doesn't want to have kids, actually I for one am relieved that gene pool will cease to exist...

She is saying she doesn't want to work EVER, for ANYTHING, even in trying to find a hapless man willing to support this type of crazy she is being lazy. This man has to do more than bend over backwards, she is searching for a prince charming that doesn't exist.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Gee, I wonder why they won't call you back. Maybe it's because you should have been working 12 years ago and the fact that you've sat on your butt for 12 years tells them you're not worth hiring.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

musicdiva said:


> That is BS. I have applied to 10 McDONALDS, JACK IN THE BOXES etc. AND NOT 1 CALLED ME BACK SO. SO MUCH FOR YOU SAYING ENTRY LEVEL NO EXPERIENCE CAN GET YOU THIS JOB BLAH BLAH.


When applying for entry level jobs (McDonalds, etc.) you still need to show ambition. That you want the job. That you are willing to work hard.

Nobody hires people that don't want to work.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

musicdiva said:


> That is BS. I have applied to 10 McDONALDS, JACK IN THE BOXES etc. AND NOT 1 CALLED ME BACK SO. SO MUCH FOR YOU SAYING ENTRY LEVEL NO EXPERIENCE CAN GET YOU THIS JOB BLAH BLAH.


Wow. Ten. Better quit trying, right?
Normal people try until the get a job. 50,100 job applications filled. Dress in a nice shirt and pants and do resume drops at all retail outlets. Sign up online to job seeker websites and apply apply apply.

You say you don't want to work anyway, and your motivation to get anywhere backs up your words.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Maybe you could work for free for a psychiatrist. You know it's bad when McD's won't consider you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> That is BS. I have applied to 10 McDONALDS, JACK IN THE BOXES etc. AND NOT 1 CALLED ME BACK SO. SO MUCH FOR YOU SAYING ENTRY LEVEL NO EXPERIENCE CAN GET YOU THIS JOB BLAH BLAH.


You blog & write. So monetarize your blog and promote it. Lots of people make a living off their blogs.

Go to the hoote suite site and get certified in their on-line software tool. Learn how to use social media to promote people, products, companies, etc. And the sign up with them as a social media consultant.

There are things you can do to make money.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So... quick question. Why don't you want to work?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

musicdiva said:


> How about, I never have to worry about that stuff, because I AM NEVER having kids. BOOM


How about you marry a guy and he forgot to tell you he ALREADY has a kid that just shows up one day! 

BOOM!


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Omg make it stop...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> I am 28 and since it's their house, their rules.


Will they be OK with you going back to earning a technical degree? That would land you a better paying job in very little college time. Most of these vocational/technical schools offer grant and loan programs. You can pay back your student loans once you graduate and get a job.

Some careers only take about 6 months to complete in these type of schools. 

Have you tried that? You are being way too passive in the decisions over your future. Your parents will not live forever. You need to take control of your own life and destiny. Their fear is crippling you. You are not a baby. You are almost 30 for crying out loud!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

You know what, your parents' description doesn't make sense with the type of people you hang out with. Your concert type of dudes are pretty darn shady. They allow you to go to these concerts, but won't even let your cross the darn street?

Something is weird here!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Please restrict your posting to giving the OP support. All other posts will be deleted. Anyone persisting on talking about the OP in third person, calling her a troll, etc will get a time out ban to cool off.


(speaking as a moderator)


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Just forget it. Maybe I will find a guy and maybe not.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> Just forget it. Maybe I will find a guy and maybe not.


That is a better attitude. It's not the end of the world if you can't find a guy now or ever. You still have you, the most important person in your life. What interests you. What goals in the near future do you want to accomplish? Focus on what you can change! It will make you feel better and direct your attention to something more attainable.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> That is a better attitude. It's not the end of the world if you can't find a guy now or ever. You still have you, the most important person in your life. What interests you. What goals in the near future do you want to accomplish? Focus on what you can change! It will make you feel better and direct your attention to something more attainable.


No your wrong and not right. I am miserable and depressed than ever and my life is never going to change. Everyday it get worse and I am just going to be alone forever.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> No your wrong and not right. I am miserable and depressed than ever and my life is never going to change. Everyday it get worse and I am just going to be alone forever.


And how does this defeated attitude help you? If you are already taking medication for anxiety and depression, you need to consult your doctor because what you are taking is no longer working. Please seek medical attention. We really can't help you with that. That has to come from within you and from a professional. I don't think posting here is helping you achieve anything at all. You are beyond the scope of what TAM can truly offer. You sound more and more suicidal. Please, please seek help from people in real life.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

blueinbr;16039521[B said:


> ]Meds are not for everyone and there are alternatives. [/B]
> 
> *She is hurting about relationships,* just like many of us here, and TAM is good for that.


While I agree that meds are not for everyone, that is for the professionals to decide though. I am taking both anti-anxiety and anti-depressants due to my mother's death. It's been very overwhelming for me. I am still very sad and miss her, but I feel much better than 2 months ago. I wanted her to take me with her. I would go visit her grave and cry every day. The medication really helps.

I had to take medications when my X left me years ago too. Medications take the edge off. I was having suicidal thoughts and I was never like that. I was also waking up at night in a cold sweat. I was having anxiety attacks along with suicidal thoughts.

I took medications for about a year in a half and then my doctor slowly got me off of them. 

On several occasions Nataly has expressed suicidal tendencies right her on a public forum full of strangers. That is why I am concerned. I knew something was very wrong with me when I couldn't let mom go. Believe me, she needed to go; she was very ill. That's why I kept asking her to take me with her. Those are suicidal thoughts too. I just know better than to off myself! :frown2:

I don't think that way anymore.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

blueinbr said:


> Actually Nat is going quite good on the anxiety and depression. Meds are not for everyone and there are alternatives. The way she feels is understandable. She feels lonely and with OLD it is much easier and quicker to feel rejected vs when I was dating. Pills probably won't make her feel less lonely.
> 
> She is hurting about relationships, just like many of us here, and TAM is good for that.
> 
> ...


She is miserable, defeatist, and hopeless because she isn't DOING anything with her life.

OP, you see that, don't you? You're an adult but you don't work. You're an adult but you let your parents dictate your life. You have nothing to show for the last ten years, the whole of your adulthood. And the longer you go without living life as an adult, the less appealing you become to the men out there looking for a partner. No guys wants to date a girl who still lives at home, has no job, and doesn't even want one.

So what's the solution? Get a degree if you don't have one, get a job, make some friends or hang out with your friends and not at home, find someone to be roommates with, volunteer somewhere, and basically just start living your life. Once YOU are happy with your life, men will see that and you'll become attractive and desirable.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Everyone just leave me alone.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Is there something that interferes with your learning Musicdiva. Maybe a learning disability and that is why college is very difficult for you. 

That happens girl, some of us were not college material and some of us are. How about a vocational or trading school career? You live in America, the land of opportunity. You just need to find a good fit. 

Please don't put all your eggs in a relationship basket to make you happy. You deserve better. But you will have to do the work to get out of this funk. Stop thinking that others are lucky, partnered and happy and that you deserve that too. 

We make choices and those choices affect our lives and relationships. You are choosing to have a pity party. You are choosing to contact your X partners. That is hurting you. Move on and never look back. Those people are gone from your life. Block them from social media. 

Seek new places to hang out. Maybe a new singles church group will help you meet like minded friends. How about forums that discuss what you enjoy? Your new friendships don't have to start as love interests. Friendships are a safer option when you are feeling so down.

I wish you well. I hope you find a healthier place emotionally real soon. We all deserve that.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

My best friend was the sweetest girl on the planet, but she couldn't figure things out to save her life. She got a job before I did, and then went on to ring up million dollar sales, over and over, cos she just couldn't figure out the cash registers. It happens. She ended up being a housewife and having 8 kids and that suited her just fine.

But diva, if that's your goal, you first have to become someone guys would like to pursue. Did you know that men's top emotional needs are usually (1) having fun and (2) admiration. So be someone who's fun to be around and does fun stuff, and make sure you spend time being all about him, let him know you're into him. If you talk more about yourself...he won't be around long.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> Everyone just leave me alone.


Well you know you are posting on a public advice forum, right? If you want to be left alone, don't start a thread asking for advice. :|

Now, if you do not like what we are saying, then say that.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I don't like what your saying you are bullies and saying mean stuff. So stop it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I'm not saying mean stuff. I'm giving you the psychological background behind both what you are doing and what the guys are doing. Psychology is a science and it's based on human nature; you can't outrun it. I'm trying to help you.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

turnera2 said:


> I'm not saying mean stuff. I'm giving you the psychological background behind both what you are doing and what the guys are doing. Psychology is a science and it's based on human nature; you can't outrun it. I'm trying to help you.


What the **** are you talking about?


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

turnera2 said:


> I'm not saying mean stuff. I'm giving you the psychological background behind both what you are doing and what the guys are doing. Psychology is a science and it's based on human nature; you can't outrun it. I'm trying to help you.


That's the thing Turnera, she just DOESN'T GET IT. You can't help her, none of us can. Music you need to seek help via a trained professional. Us mere mortals have nothing left to offer you sorry.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

musicdiva said:


> What the **** are you talking about?


Wow, see this type of behaviour is why you cannot attract someone. 
You do not listen, learn or seem to have any empathy for others. 
Rudeness is very ugly. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I don't understand what any of you are saying, sorry for being an retard?


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Yeah, ok.


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