# Thank you!



## Naivenomore (Jan 28, 2020)

I want to thank each of you for getting me through a very difficult. I was ashamed and humiliated with nowhere to turn. Somehow I found this site and you people. My situation is no better, but of course you all predicted that. I'm waiting for this "shelter at home" situation to change before deciding what to do, as I feel it would be inhumane to force a guy out with no income, no car, and no place. Boy would his friends and family be surprised that he's not the epitome of success. He's quite the salesman, but I'm having a hard time listening to him and believing even a word he says. One of the best items shared from this fantastic group was https://www.emotionalaffair.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Understanding-Your-Betrayed-Spouse.pdf. This was enormously helpful. I asked my SO to read and even shared it with the therapist I've started seeing. Now that my SO has been caught over and over again, all means of communication with the many other women have ceased, but I just don't look at him the same way. I didn't sign up for a relationship where I have to force him to be faithful and I think dishonesty can manifest in other areas. I am way too gullible to have be a gatekeeper for the rest of my life. Peace and love to all of you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

You claim you're not going to be this cheating liar's gatekeeper for life, but you completely NEGATE every word of that with all your weak excuses for why you couldn't *possibly* kick his worthless ass out the door where it belongs.

You claim that the Covid virus situation apparently somehow _prevents _you from deciding what to do with your serial cheater once this is all over. Hell, the way I see it, now is the perfect time to figure out how you're going to handle booting his ass out the door the second the shelter-in-place rule is lifted.

Your next excuse is because he's jobless, car-less and penniless - all by his *own* lazy choice, mind you - that it would be "*inhumane*" to send him packing. Good lord, so because his lazy ass refuses to get a job and has no qualms about letting a woman support hm, that means you're stuck with him for life? He's chosen to be a jobless, car-less, penniless loser. You're NOT his damned mother and he's NOT your ne'er do well teeanger. He's a grown ass MAN making stupid, lazy choices and that's NOT your problem!

You know what's really "inhumane?" Some lying, cheating ass-hole who thinks it's perfectly *fine* to lie through his teeth to you every single day while he's betraying you. Know what _else_ is "inhumane?" Some ass-hole who has so damned LITTLE respect for you that he has no problem letting you bust your ass supporting him *while* he disrespects you and lies to you through his teeth every single day.

Time to cut those apron strings and let this loser go.


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## Naivenomore (Jan 28, 2020)

You are absolutely right. Some days I can't even stand see him in my house, much less share a bed with him. I just smile and keep hoping he'll find a job or a place to go. The worst is having to listen to him tell me how he knows that I love him and that he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I've heard it so many times, I'm numb to it. I wish I had your strength.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> You claim you're not going to be this cheating liar's gatekeeper for life, but you completely NEGATE every word of that with all your weak excuses for why you couldn't *possibly* kick his worthless ass out the door where it belongs.
> 
> You claim that the Covid virus situation apparently somehow _prevents _you from deciding what to do with your serial cheater once this is all over. Hell, the way I see it, now is the perfect time to figure out how you're going to handle booting his ass out the door the second the shelter-in-place rule is lifted.
> 
> ...


OP:
She'sStillGotIt tends to give very gentle advice, as you can see.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

jlg07 said:


> " They are not together anymore but she met her current boyfriend who she now lives with and he was her mentor in her new job, in this new career. "
> 
> Umm, WHAT? She feels bad and wants to come back BUT SHE IS LIVING WITH HER BF from her Job?
> The logic escapes me. You should know she is STILL not trustworthy -- I BET she didn't tell her BF she wanted to leave and come back to you. So, if she is still hiding things, why do you think she is honest with YOU?





jlg07 said:


> Umm, WHAT? She feels bad and wants to come back BUT SHE IS LIVING WITH HER BF from her Job?
> The logic escapes me. You should know she is STILL not trustworthy -- I BET she didn't tell her BF she wanted to leave and come back to you. So, if she is still hiding things, why do you think she is honest with YOU?





Wolfman1968 said:


> OP:
> She'sStillGotIt tends to give very gentle advice, as you can see.


Yeah she does. And she is usually right on target with her gentle advice.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Sorry, The two quotes by @jlg07 above are from another thread. I am still trying to figure out the new site.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

This new site really sucks!!!!! Please bring back the old one.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I agree with @She'sStillGotIt OP's empathetic nature has enabled this geezer to treat her like **** the way he has. Time to use that empathy on yourself OP and kick his ass to the kerb. He doesn't care about how he has hurt you. Don't listen to words, he will do everything to keep the gravy train going, he is nothing but a parasite.


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## Buffer (Dec 17, 2019)

very difficult position to be in. Hard 180 on him, make him accountable. He will gaslight you, love bomb you, even blame you. But to predict the future, look at his past.
Seek legal advice, get tested for STDs, cheaters lie a lot. IC now for you, no MC as he has to fix himself first. He has lost all of your trust and respect. You are the bunny on the spot. Don’t take anything from this, it is all on him.
one day at a time.
Buffer


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Naivenomore said:


> You are absolutely right. *Some days I can't even stand see him in my house, much less share a bed with him*. I just smile and keep hoping he'll find a job or a place to go. The worst is having to listen to him tell me how he knows that I love him and that he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I've heard it so many times, I'm numb to it. I wish I had your strength.


SO, One thing that can help you down this path: STOP SHARING A BED WITH HIM!!! Let him sleep on the couch, chair, floor, etc.. You DO NOT have to share a bed just because you are stuck in with the corona shut-down.
If you are really leaning towards kicking him out asap, then start detaching from him -- 180, make him sleep elsewhere, STOP the interactions with him. DO NOT listen to him tell you this stuff -- just walk away and close the door.


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