# How do I live alone?



## justsolost (Mar 11, 2012)

So we've been separated a week now. Had a marriage counseling session today. She said she is not ready or is currently not willing to work on our marriage, although she agreed to another session in 2 weeks.

She said she didn't know when or if she would be ready as "once we work on our individual problems, we'll be strangers to one another". What a kick in the gut, we've been together for 14 years.

Anyway, I have found out that I can survive without her, but how do I LIVE without her? I have no idea...

Gah, I hate this situation.


----------



## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Get some hobbies start exercising work on yrself
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

have you ruled out she's having an affair? you will be able to live without a spouse who will not work on their marriage--we all have to. find your passion, what are you interested in. this is your time to be good to yourself, take a class, join a club, not to dwell...if anything doing that will make her lose all interest. but in the end you're not doing it for her, you're doing it for YOU.


----------



## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

justsolost said:


> So we've been separated a week now. Had a marriage counseling session today. She said she is not ready or is currently not willing to work on our marriage, although she agreed to another session in 2 weeks.
> 
> She said she didn't know when or if she would be ready as "once we work on our individual problems, we'll be strangers to one another". What a kick in the gut, we've been together for 14 years.
> 
> ...


Sounds familiar to my situation. She announced the sep Dec 11th, moved with her parents January 1st and to her new place in February. I asked myself the very same question - how do I live without her?

There is no easy answer. In my case, I'm still adjusting, but the good news is that it does get better, slowly. It's not just about time, but about what you do with the time. Although I wish you the best and hope you two can reconcile, if that's meant to be, if it doesn't work out I recommend you:


See a counselor to vent and rebuild
Spend time with family and friends.
Exercise - walk, work out, do something physical every day.
Don't beat yourself up - it's a tough thing to take when a spouse want to leave, but see it as her loss.
Read self-help books.
Get your sleep. If you can't, see your family doctor for prescription sleeping pills - huge help for me!
Focus on what you CAN control, which is you.
Do something you enjoy that your wife didn't. In my case, rediscovering music and playing it loudly, watching non chick-flick movies (no offense anyone) and making the meals I like.
See this as an opportunity to heal but also to better yourself in the process.

In time, you will feel better, but there will be some rough patches ahead. When the roller coaster rides start up, hang on tight. Mine are way fewer now, and don't last as long. The toughest part was going to bed and waking up without her, but I've adjusted to that too. 

Wish you the best and know you're not alone.


----------

