# To tell, or not to tell...the family of the cheating husband



## Mary1214 (Mar 19, 2013)

Hi Everyone,
I would love to hear opinions on whether or not to tell the family of my cheating husband why I am leaving him. I am really close with his family, but I don't know if it is overstepping my boundaries if I tell his family. I don't want them to hate me, and I'm sure he is going to feed them some bullcrap about what a horrible person I am and make up some other sorry excuse for why I am leaving. 

Thanks in advance!!:scratchhead:


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Mary, 

I can only speak from my experience. When my exH left me, our kids and our business to move to another state with his mistress, he didn't tell anyone anything. He SURELY did not tell his family he had been cheating on me! So a few days after he disappeared, his mom called and asked if I knew where he was. I did tell her the truth but did not drag his name through the mud or rant and rave. I said, "I have not had confirmation but I do believe I know where he is. <name> has been having an affair with a woman and he told me it was between him and I so I had not said anything. I believe he has moved to <state> to be with her." 

Namely, I kept it factual and didn't speak in anger, but also was no longer going to hide what he was doing to help him do it better. If he wanted to cheat that's his choice but he'd be doing it in broad daylight rather than in secret.


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

If they will hate you because of your husband's actions, start running now. Nobody comes up with some story of infidelity out of the blue.


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## Mary1214 (Mar 19, 2013)

I know they won't hate me. They already have a good idea of what type of person he is and I know they will always love me as I will them. I just don't want them to think that I am "trashing" him. I don't know if it is inappropriate for me to involve them.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Here's the way I see it, Mary. You are not "trashing him." You are speaking the truth as factually as you can. It is his ACTIONS that are "trashing him." Make sense? You just tell them a statement like "I wanted you to know we are divorcing because I found out he was cheating. I would have considered reconciliation if he stopped cheating but he did not want to do that. I love you and will always consider you family by choice, but sadly we won't be family by blood any longer."


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Tell them, especially if they came to the wedding


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