# How to tell her...



## Bigpat27 (Apr 4, 2020)

...that I’m pretty grossed out by her. I know not a good start but hear me out. My wife has poor hygiene. Meaning she only showers once a week, brushes her teeth every other week, and maybe changes her clothes (including panties) every three to four days. She also may wash her hair every other shower at that.

I love my wife. She has a very beautiful soul. However I’m not physically attracted to her anymore. I spend a lot of time on my hygiene. I shower & brush my teeth everyday, I tend to my facial hair, and change my outfit on a regular basis. But her on the other hand does not.

Im not asking her to wear a face full of makeup and a sexy outfit everyday. I’m just asking that she take pride in her looks.

I don’t think that’s selfish of me or is it?


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## adbad16 (Apr 5, 2020)

Has she always been this way? How old are you guys? Do you have any kids? Does she work? I am not like this at all, but If there is ever a time I don’t feel like doing any of these things it’s lack of motivation and makes me think maybe your wife is depressed or soemthing?


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## Bigpat27 (Apr 4, 2020)

adbad16 said:


> Has she always been this way? How old are you guys? Do you have any kids? Does she work? I am not like this at all, but If there is ever a time I don’t feel like doing any of these things it’s lack of motivation and makes me think maybe your wife is depressed or soemthing?


I’m 27 she is 26. We both work full time. We don’t have kids but she desperately wants too. She’s not showing any other signs of depression. I think I would’ve noticed because I’ve had depression since I was 11 years old.


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## adbad16 (Apr 5, 2020)

Has she always been this way or is this new behavior?


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

What's her excuse for not caring about her personal hygiene?

What does she do for a living?

Brushing her teeth every other WEEK? Really? (Gross!) 

I don't care how beautiful a person's soul is. Sleeping with someone who smells like a garbage disposal is not my thing.

How can you live with someone like that?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Yeah, this is super odd. Especially of someone that is employed. Gross, I wouldn’t want to be you OR her co-workers. What happens when you gently discuss it with her?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I literally cannot understand this. There is NO excuse for an able bodied adult not to shower daily. They don't have to go full hair, make up etc. or shave for the blokes, but they DO have to be clean at a minimum.

Gross.

How do you tell her? You say "Honey, I love you, but you stink. Please have a shower."


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

If this is relatively new behaviour, then there is something more going on here for sure. People dont just quit doing these things unless they stop caring about themselves.

Also, depression looks different for each person afflicted with it. Some people cry a lot, some get angry, some people lose all motivation, some people self harm, and others again act out. So I wouldnt rule that out just yet.

Have you tried to talk to her about yoru concerns and her lack of self care?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Not be to a jerk but she sounds incredibly immature, and has a very low iq. 

Does she know that she will lose all her teeth by 40 if she doesn’t brush them? 

I have have any words except that your dealing with someone who have very low intelligence. Be blunt and have a serious conversation with her.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Gross. Why are you still there?? How have you not been repulsed out the front door? There is no excuse for this. I had a former coworker who was like this and we ALL complained about her ALL the time! No one wanted anything to do with her. 




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Bigpat27 said:


> ...that I’m pretty grossed out by her. I know not a good start but hear me out. My wife has poor hygiene. Meaning she only showers once a week, brushes her teeth every other week, and maybe changes her clothes (including panties) every three to four days. She also may wash her hair every other shower at that.
> 
> I love my wife. She has a very beautiful soul. However I’m not physically attracted to her anymore. I spend a lot of time on my hygiene. I shower & brush my teeth everyday, I tend to my facial hair, and change my outfit on a regular basis. But her on the other hand does not.
> 
> ...


I'm not even going to read the other responses. They will all be in the same vane.

Sit her down, take a deep breath - the hell away from her -, and tell her,

"Listen, sugar-tits, you are, well, - disgusting. I don't mean to offend, but we are not short of flowing, treated fresh water nor are we deficient of soap (let the Kung-Flu mal-reactions continue, and we will be short on soap soon). Wash your hands, wash your hair and pits.

You're soul is beautiful. It needs a ****ing bath, though.

Also, brush your teeth.

K thnx bye"


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## AandM (Jan 30, 2019)

Vein, not vane.

F-cking autocorrect.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

You know some of it might be cultural. She might have some French ancestry. (before you flame me, understand that different cultures view proper hygiene much differently.)

‘Unclean’ French continue to flout basic personal hygiene rules, study suggests



> A third of French people don’t wash their hands after going to the toilet and less than half before eating, while a fifth of Frenchmen change their underwear twice a week at best......
> 
> ......Women were less negligent than men, with 81 per cent washing every day compared to 71 per cent of males. Rural Frenchmen only managed such daily ablutions in 60 per cent of cases while the worst offenders were the over 65s, on 57 per cent.
> 
> ...


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

In UK there are lots of people both men and women, who do not shower daily or wash their hair daily. Once I find this out, I try not to go near them at all. You hear a woman at work proudly announcing that tonight she will wash her hair like it is some sort of event. Some people open their mouths to speak and you can smell their breath across a two and half metre desk. 
Someone came to our work place once and talked about unacceptable behaviours at work. Among them were 
1 poor hygiene (bad breath, BO, cheap perfumes, farting in the office, Smelly foods, untidy desk, Dandruff on keyboards, stealing chocolates/fruits, stc)
2 discussing personals on phones
3 trailing wires
etc. 
The lady said that people who smell are not aware that they smell so it is polite to tell them and at some level the smell does not go away with more regular washing because the smell is from the excreta of bacterias whose habitat is the body. The way to kill them is to use vinegar on parts that sweat. wet with vinegar, leave it a while, then go and shower. Once someone tells you you have BO you can get rid of it that way then its another few weeks with a good smell. 

Also drinking more water improves your body smell all other factors being in place. 

Then you get some who are the opposite who have a shower every time they have sex. In my mid twenties, I would have has some sort of skin erosion if I had started doing that extreme behaviour. 
But I would rather one who over-cleans than one who under-cleans. 

She needs help. At that age she cannot do that. Maybe you should tell her you fancy a shower together as a sexual thing, then have it together every evening or morning. Or maybe you like scrubbing her back in the bath. Reward her somehow if she lets you. But get to the bottom of the issue.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

It's definitely a depression issue. 
Absolutely talk to her about it.
Help her to start a daily hygiene routine. 
Take her out for shopping. Get nice hygiene items that she likes and enjoy using these.

But not brushing her teeth is seriously a problem and will be very expensive very soon as well. Not ok.


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## luxxlife (Apr 22, 2020)

Compliment her when she is fresh looking to encourage that behavior. Buy her a spa membership so she receives facials, hair blow outs, waxes, nails etc and say you got it because she deserves it and some time to relax and be pampered. I agree she sounds like she may be depressed..


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"Wife, I shouldn't have to explain to you why brushing your teeth, showering, and putting on clean clothes daily is a requirement to stay healthy, attractive, keep your job, and keep your husband. If you're depressed, let's talk about it and get you some help. If you're not, then I'd like a different explanation."


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## SayItRight (Apr 23, 2020)

Does this mean she is too much used to you and feels a bit too comfortable?


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