# Patience is running thin...



## 67Donzi! (Jun 28, 2018)

Hi everyone. I’m sure I’m in the same shoes that many of you have gone through. Not sure where to even begin. Well, I’ve been married 5 yrs, together for 8. Without going into details...I feel like I have become her best friend as a wife/husband should be. The problem is I feel that’s all I am now. The romance, the advances, the stairs of anticipation, the physical attraction has vanished from her end. We’ve had a lot happen over the years. Some have been great, some have been bad. We gone to counseling...she says those feelings are still there just that she’s not interested in them now with everything going on. Well it’s been about two years since this started and nothings changed. When do I say to myself this it...I am a friend only... I’m extremely depressed feeling unwanted, like a roommate. I’m losing hope things will
Change. Well that’s enough for now.


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## lorenfer_fenix (Jun 26, 2018)

67Donzi! said:


> Hi everyone. I’m sure I’m in the same shoes that many of you have gone through. Not sure where to even begin. Well, I’ve been married 5 yrs, together for 8. Without going into details...I feel like I have become her best friend as a wife/husband should be. The problem is I feel that’s all I am now. The romance, the advances, the stairs of anticipation, the physical attraction has vanished from her end. We’ve had a lot happen over the years. Some have been great, some have been bad. We gone to counseling...she says those feelings are still there just that she’s not interested in them now with everything going on. Well it’s been about two years since this started and nothings changed. When do I say to myself this it...I am a friend only... I’m extremely depressed feeling unwanted, like a roommate. I’m losing hope things will
> Change. Well that’s enough for now.


I have gone through that for 1.5 years after my second kid. Sex became rare along with the feeling of being unwanted. Some times later all turned back to usual even got better than ever. The unexpected came all of a sudden during the calmness; after the storm... If you want to know seek my last post on this thread. Man, womens are beasts, they act and think randomly, they are utterly lead by emotions and instant feelings.


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## lorenfer_fenix (Jun 26, 2018)

Tell me, do you have kids? By and large, how are your relationship with her?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

It continues as long as you tolerate it. 

You have to do a few things, in order:

1. Be the best possible version of you, every day, from here forward

2. Work on identifying and then meeting her emotional needs

After a few months of no change:

3. Inform your wife this current arrangement is no longer working for you, and if it doesn't change, you will be left with little choice but to move on.

4. Stop meeting her emotional needs entirely as you look to fill your time with more fulfilling things.

And if there is still no change:

5. Accept the situation or divorce. 

Sorry you are here. 


Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Do you believe that marriage is for better and for worse? Do you believe that you made vows to her that you should keep? if yes, then there is your answer. Hang on in there and carry on working on things. 
A large part of marriage is being very best friends and companions. Things do and will change over the years depending on what is happing in your lives. The initial romance and lust will fade to some extent. 

Get the book called the 5 love languages and read it together.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Tis' the Seasons.

Spring brings New Growth.
From the heart, from the loins.

Summer brings the Heat.
A flowering, fruitful journey.

The Fall starts too soon.
The leaves turn brown, love leaves

The Winter brings discontent.
Brings dissolution to marriage. Dissolves all green pastures.

Move to a warmer climate.
A marriage with little or no seasonal change.

This climate is found in the Land of Compatibility.
A land, both close and far. Sometimes, out of reach. 

Or so it seems.....



SunCMars-


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

67Donzi! said:


> ...she says those feelings are still there just that she’s not interested in them now with everything going on.


This is a a very big problem. An aversion to sex is one thing, but a refusal to try to fix the problem due to a simple lack of interest is pure selfishness. 

If your wife can watch you suffer with such callous indifference, what hope could you have?

Like the military, I'll carry the wounded but court martial the deserters.


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