# Is he bs'ing me again? Using hidden chat app?



## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Good morning!

Is here anyone who knows the most preferred hidden chat apps?

I woke up this morning and my husband was sitting with his back facing to me on the bed edge.
I looked and saw that he typed in a pin.
All I saw were light gray pin dots that he pushed.

It opened up something that looked very similar to facebook notifications.

He clicked on one of these notifications and a chat window opened up.

He then got up and went to the restroom. I wasn't able to figuring out what app he used.


Now I am trying to find out before I confront him.

There sooo many hidden apps out there 

Does someone know which hidden app uses a gray pin dots to log in?


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Why worry about the app, confront him. Make him show you if you don't it will get worse.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Tilted 1 said:


> Why worry about the app, confront him. Make him show you if you don't it will get worse.


How should I confront him?
He will deny. I can't even tell how the app looks like.
In no way he would pull up the app and show me.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Tell him show you or divorce, and then follow through, if he has nothing to hide all's good but if he's playing footisy with another. You might as well know the truth.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

And in case you don't know Cheaters lie, lie , lie... He has another he's playing with and because he can't go out and meet her! He has no choice but to use his phone. Is his phone locked?


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Prepare yourself.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Tilted 1 said:


> And in case you don't know Cheaters lie, lie , lie... He has another he's playing with and because he can't go out and meet her! He has no choice but to use his phone. Is his phone locked?



No, his phone is not locked because we had problems 5 years ago and we had since then the agreement that all our devices are unlocked from each other.
But I barely get a chance to look at it. It's always on him.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

You don't need to check his phone in secret, especially if this is repeat behaviour. "Hey, give me your phone. Im checking up on you because I got a strange feeling." Period. If he says no, be prepared to walk away. Might sound drastic but cheaters LIE constantly, and you are well within your rights if he has done this before. If you dont, you will never trust him, and he will only get bolder. Take the phone, right in front of him and see what he has been up to.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Bd2014 said:


> No, his phone is not locked because we had problems 5 years ago and we had since then the agreement that all our devices are unlocked from each other.
> But I barely get a chance to look at it. It's always on him.


5 yrs ago and you know it's starting over again. Use this app to hopefully recover info....






[OFFICIAL]FoneLab for iOS - 100% Recover iOS data from device/backup


FoneLab for iOS lets you easily recover deleted or lost SMS, contacts, photos, WhatsApp, etc directly from iPhone/iPad/iPod or get back data from iCloud or iTunes backup.




www.fonelab.com





I guess he has nothing to hide do it.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Saibasu said:


> You don't need to check his phone in secret, especially if this is repeat behaviour. "Hey, give me your phone. Im checking up on you because I got a strange feeling." Period. If he says no, be prepared to walk away. Might sound drastic but cheaters LIE constantly, and you are well within your rights if he has done this before. If you dont, you will never trust him, and he will only get bolder. Take the phone, right in front of him and see what he has been up to.


This^^^^


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

He has an android. 
Does fonelab work for iphones only?

I will have to wait all day long until I can officially check his phone.

I read that there apps that deletes the messages automatically.
Ugh.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Well, he claims now he was checking bank, bills and reading up on coronavirus updates. He has no idea what I saw.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> Well, he claims now he was checking bank, bills and reading up on coronavirus updates. He has no idea what I saw.


Yeah, well i have a Bridge to sell you really cheap...

Why are you putting up with this ********? You have not really answered that question.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

He did check these apps, but none of these were the app that I saw.
He is trying to play dumb.

He said I am welcome to go through his phone once he is back home.

So I already know I won't find it. And the fonelab is for iPhones only in my understanding. 

So how do I look for hidden apps?
I am sure he cleared his play store app already.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

hannahleon said:


> You could as well hire a private investigator to legally put a tab on him and his hidden activities, you can try xxxxxxxx dot com and you'll be amazed.
> I was in a similar situation few weeks ago, just got what i needed exactly... Goodluck dear


I can't afford a private investigator 
I can't find your suggested website.


Thank you.


hannahleon said:


> You could as well hire a private investigator to legally put a tab on him and his hidden activities, you can try xxxxx dot com and you'll be amazed.
> I was in a similar situation few weeks ago, just got what i needed exactly... Goodluck dear


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Fonelab does work on Android, but that's not really the point here. And if you need a PI, then it's time to save that money and put it towards a divorce instead. 

You know that he's lying. You know that he's cheated in the past. You know that he's cheating now. And yes, you DO know that. If he had nothing to hide, he would hide nothing. Simple as that. 

So, what are you planning to do with whatever information you find? Are you going to use that to keep torturing yourself and trying to get him to pick you, or do you need that confirmation to be able to allow yourself to leave?

Unfortunately your husband is clearly never going to change if this is repeat behavior. Whatever the last "incident" was happened 5 years ago and if you leave now, maybe that feels like it was all for nothing. Maybe you feel like you HAVE to try and save this. Well, you don't. It's better to waste 5 years, or however long, than the rest of your life. 

I have no issues with people wanting to reconcile after infidelity (I'm doing it) but you have to have something to work with. You don't. You have a husband who continues to lie, hide and cheat, and has no desire or intention to be faithful.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Fonelab does work on Android, but that's not really the point here. And if you need a PI, then it's time to save that money and put it towards a divorce instead.
> 
> You know that he's lying. You know that he's cheated in the past. You know that he's cheating now. And yes, you DO know that. If he had nothing to hide, he would hide nothing. Simple as that.
> 
> ...


I just want to make sure I didn't misinterpret this morning.

Don't want to throw in the towel if I am not a 100% sure.

I will go through his phone.

He didn't try to clear things up since my last response. Pretty quiet now.
Probably busy with deleting stuff.

If I have proof, that's it then.
Can't put up with more. I am a non trusting wreck already.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> I just want to make sure I didn't misinterpret this morning.
> 
> Don't want to throw in the towel if I am not a 100% sure.
> 
> ...


Of course you are a non-trusting wreck! You're married to a man who isn't trustworthy. After an affair, the cheating spouse needs to _prove_ that they can be trusted again. It doesn't sound like your husband is doing that. Removing his phone password is meaningless if his phone is still glued to him.

Let me ask you this, how was the first affair dealt with? I have a feeling it was swept under the rug... 

Personally, I would want to grab that phone from his hands. You cannot do that now because you let him know that you're suspicious and he is most likely deleting things. He's a cheater, and cheaters lie. You cannot ask what he's up to and expect an honest answer. 

So, if you need that confirmation then I'd recommend dropping the subject for now. Let him think you forgot about it, aren't suspicious, whatever. Give it time until he drops his guard and slips up again. He's trapped at home with you, he's going to keep contacting his side piece(s).

Can you get his phone while he's sleeping? 

Does he ever go sit in the car, garage, shed, etc? Or does he go for drives? If he does, you may want to consider buying a VAR (voice activated recorder). It could pick up any phone calls. Do you have access to his phone records? 

If the phone has been totally wiped, is _that_ enough proof for you? You may have to read between the lines.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Of course you are a non-trusting wreck! You're married to a man who isn't trustworthy. After an affair, the cheating spouse needs to _prove_ that they can be trusted again. It doesn't sound like your husband is doing that. Removing his phone password is meaningless if his phone is still glued to him.
> 
> Let me ask you this, how was the first affair dealt with? I have a feeling it was swept under the rug...
> 
> ...


Yes and no. We dealt with it, he changed certain things, everything was open to me, and we moved on.

He does sudden errands, but he comes back with the bought items. So I didn't think much of it. 

We have "straight talk", and he has full control over our family plans and automatic set up payments. I dont even know how to access the records?

He does disappear in the restroom quite a while sometimes. Of course with the phone. But (!) he watches a lot of sports shows and silly video clips on Facebook. So I couldn't really tell.

I wonder if there is a way to access our orbi netgear thing to check what activities he is doing online.

I will check his phone for the login in pattern and app that I saw this morning. Won't be pretty if I don't find it.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> Yes and no. We dealt with it, he changed certain things, everything was open to me, and we moved on.
> 
> He does sudden errands, but he comes back with the bought items. So I didn't think much of it.
> 
> ...


There may be better (discreet) options, but Circle Parental Controls will connect through that router you have. The basic package is free, or maybe it was $12.99/month but with a free 1-month trial.
Circle Feature: History

With that you can see his browsing history as well as any apps that connect to WiFi (facebook, reddit, whatsapp, etc.). For the apps, it will show the app icon beside the timestamp. It bypasses incognito as well. It will also show his exact location (for those sudden outings, etc).

The problem is that the app is not hidden. So he could see it on his phone (I'd put it in a folder of apps not used often, like the Samsung or Google folder), but if he'd get pissed or violent from seeing it then DO NOT do it.

If you DO install it, you will need his phone and yours. After it's installed, go to the "filter" section and switch it to "adult". Then go through the menu and make sure everything is turned to "allowed". That way he isn't prevented from accessing any apps, porn, etc.

When it asks to set up time limits, limit websites, etc. skip that.

After that's done, go into the phone's settings and turn OFF the notifications for the Circle app. That way he doesn't get push notifications if you track his location (which works very well, btw).

But again, it's not discreet. I really don't like suggesting it at all but it is for that router.

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure you cannot access call/text records with the phone plan you have. You would need to be the account holder, I believe, and have a specific reason for needing them. Have you been using that provider for a long time, or did he suddenly switch?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bd2014 said:


> I can't afford a private investigator
> I can't find your suggested website.
> 
> Thank you.


Be careful about hackers who post like that. That user is now banned as he is a Nigerian spammer. Chances are if you paid him, he's probably not do the work. But he'd have access to your computers and online accounts.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Bd2014 said:


> He has an android.
> Does fonelab work for iphones only?
> 
> I will have to wait all day long until I can officially check his phone.
> ...


Yes there's one for Android systems


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

bobert said:


> There may be better (discreet) options, but Circle Parental Controls will connect through that router you have. The basic package is free, or maybe it was $12.99/month but with a free 1-month trial.
> Circle Feature: History
> 
> With that you can see his browsing history as well as any apps that connect to WiFi (facebook, reddit, whatsapp, etc.). For the apps, it will show the app icon beside the timestamp. It bypasses incognito as well. It will also show his exact location (for those sudden outings, etc).
> ...


Wow , great advice for this gal. I never knew such things exist.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> There may be better (discreet) options, but Circle Parental Controls will connect through that router you have. The basic package is free, or maybe it was $12.99/month but with a free 1-month trial.
> Circle Feature: History
> 
> With that you can see his browsing history as well as any apps that connect to WiFi (facebook, reddit, whatsapp, etc.). For the apps, it will show the app icon beside the timestamp. It bypasses incognito as well. It will also show his exact location (for those sudden outings, etc).
> ...


We actually have some kind of this parent control on our devices. I will ask him for the logins. He has control over everything. That needs to change.
We also use the life 360 app on each others phone but you know that can be altered and manipulated. 

We have our phone plan for quite a while. And yes he is the accountholders. 

I will try to get smarter with the parenting control for our routers.


Thank you for your ideas and inputs.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> I will ask him for the logins. He has control over everything. That needs to change.


You do want to have access to all the accounts, bills, etc. Even just for a worst case scenario situation. What would happen if he died suddenly? Or if he got this virus and wound up sedated in the ICU? You wouldn't have access to things you may desperately need (bills, banking, etc) and no way to get it. He should also be making you an authorized user on every account, so that you can cancel or deal with things in the event that he cannot. Companies can really give you the runaround, even after a death.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> You do want to have access to all the accounts, bills, etc. Even just for a worst case scenario situation. What would happen if he died suddenly? Or if he got this virus and wound up sedated in the ICU? You wouldn't have access to things you may desperately need (bills, banking, etc) and no way to get it. He should also be making you an authorized user on every account, so that you can cancel or deal with things in the event that he cannot. Companies can really give you the runaround, even after a death.



You're totally right!!!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Bd2014 You mentioned problems from five years ago. What exactly were these problems?


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

MattMatt said:


> @Bd2014 You mentioned problems from five years ago. What exactly were these problems?



Sexting, lying, meeting females from the internet, going to strip clubs, looking for hook ups on craigslist ...

I never recovered from this.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Bd2014 said:


> Sexting, lying, meeting females from the internet, going to strip clubs, looking for hook ups on craigslist ...
> 
> I never recovered from this.


Neither has he , that's why he still doing it. Sorry


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

So just finished going through his phone.

Of course, the app that I saw isn't there. He plays dumb.

I found porn in the history, and I ran a recovery for pictures and files.
A bunch of porn pictures came up.

He says , these are pop up ads.

The recovery app couldn't find files nor apps. So I gave up on this one.

I installed a key logger.

I told him that he is a liar. He wasn't mad.
He tried the attempt to make me feel bad by saying ... " I am working hard to provide for our family and YOU accuse me".... I shut down his little line real quick, and he knew he needs to shut up.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

He is not sorry. But he is a sorry excuse.

Why put up with his lies?


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

He isn't sorry because he is trying to confuse me. He actually tried to tell me that I dreamed about this ...
He asked me why I didn't ask him about it right then when I saw it. 
And why he would do this in the bed.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)




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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)




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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

The live sex chat happened on my birthday. 
Just before he went to work.
I guess he made himself a gift too.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

It's gaslighting at work here.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

It's your move what are you going to do now?


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Tilted 1 said:


> It's gaslighting at work here.


Yes. He barely looked at me. He tried to show me a bunch if apps he was using that morning but none of them resembled the open app that I saw.

I went through his play store. It didnt show any suspectious apps that me may downloaded. I really wonder what he were using that disappeared that good.

I went through the files, pictures and all.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Tilted 1 said:


> It's your move what are you going to do now?



I have to prepare myself to leave.
I am a stay at home mom and do homeschool.

It hurts us all.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> I have to prepare myself to leave.
> I am a stay at home mom and do homeschool.
> 
> It hurts us all.


I'm sorry that you're in this position and found things you didn't like. 

Have you done any schooling, training, etc. that will allow you to find a job? Do you have any access to funds or does your husband control _everything_?

I would highly suggest consulting at least one lawyer, second opinions are always good too. Most will do free consultations. This will let you know where you stand and what you can expect going forward. It just lets you be prepared and maybe have some piece of mind.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> I'm sorry that you're in this position and found things you didn't like.
> 
> Have you done any schooling, training, etc. that will allow you to find a job? Do you have any access to funds or does your husband control _everything_?
> 
> I would highly suggest consulting at least one lawyer, second opinions are always good too. Most will do free consultations. This will let you know where you stand and what you can expect going forward. It just lets you be prepared and maybe have some piece of mind.


The plan was for me to join law enforcement as soon as my youngest is older. 

I have no access to anything. He gives me a certain amount of money for groceries and that's it.

Lawyers offices are all closed right now. 
So I have to wait until covid backs off!


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

How can I rebuke his claim that these were pop up ads and pictures?

Is there the possibility that the recover apps show random pictures?


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

You know the answer to that question. He was jerking it to LIVE women ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. He is a piece of **** that doesnt deserve you.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Serial cheaters repeat their character it's only a matter of time or if you catch them. They lie, gaslighting, shift blame, care only for their needs before all others. Be cautious hell do some hysterical bonding with you to keep there game going. Has he or is doing this already?


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Tilted 1 said:


> Serial cheaters repeat their character it's only a matter of time or if you catch them. They lie, gaslighting, shift blame, care only for their needs before all others. Be cautious hell do some hysterical bonding with you to keep there game going. Has he or is doing this already?


No. We don't talk. I told him to get already what he been looking for, and to leave me alone.

But he were trying to confuse me. Like I may was "just dreaming", and that these websites were just pop up ads etc. 
This really saddens me. He couldn't be honest.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)




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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> The plan was for me to join law enforcement as soon as my youngest is older.
> 
> I have no access to anything. He gives me a certain amount of money for groceries and that's it.
> 
> ...


I've seen some lawyers ads on tv saying they were still operating. With Skype, Facetime, others; even via plain phone, it may still be possible.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

So, either I am being gas lighted bug time or I am plain crazy. I don't know .

Husband found several viruses on our macs , claims that's why these s3x websites showed up in his history. Saying that all his google stuff are linked. Which is true.

He also couldn't explain what I saw that one morning. 
Saying that I saw it wrong and I should have addressed it right then.

I feel like an idiot.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Bd2014 said:


> So, either I am being gas lighted bug time or I am plain crazy. I don't know .
> 
> Husband found several viruses on our macs , claims that's why these s3x websites showed up in his history. Saying that all his google stuff are linked. Which is true.
> 
> ...


Porn being "pop-ups" or a virus is the first excuse in the book. He is gaslighting you. You know what you saw and no, you did not see it wrong. He told you that you were dreaming about it for God's sake! He has you right where he wants you.

Has he put you as an account holder on all accounts? As an authorized user? If not, WHY?

Has he made your bank account shared so that you have access to the FAMILY money? If not, WHY?

Look, he HAS cheated in the past and that was never dealt with properly. It still causes issues and your marriage will not survive, certainly won't thrive, with those issues from the past being unresolved. So, what is HE willing to do to right those wrongs? Why hasn't he done it? Why isn't he making you as comfortable as possible and doing EVERYTHING possible? It doesn't matter one iota that it was X amount of years ago. It was unresolved and now it has to be resolved.

Why is his phone glued to him? He wouldn't do that if he had nothing to hide.

You looked through his phone, was it wiped clean? If so, WHY?

Did you run recovering software on his phone? If you found deleted stuff, WHY was it deleted? If you haven't done that, why not?

Have you been looking at the key logger?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Bd2014 said:


> So, either I am being gas lighted bug time or I am plain crazy. I don't know .
> 
> Husband found several viruses on our macs , claims that's why these s3x websites showed up in his history. Saying that all his google stuff are linked. Which is true.
> 
> ...


LOL.

Your husband is one of the biggest lying sacks of **** known to man. I actually laughed out loud at the sugary, appeasing BULL-**** he wrote in the text he sent you.

Coupled with the fact that you've *already caught him in the past* - and God only knows how many times you HAVEN'T caught him and he got away with it - then all bets are off as to his supposed innocence.

Are you saying you feel like an idiot because you're trying to DELUDE yourself into believing his nonsense so you can stay with him? Because that's the impression I'm getting. Sounds as though you're gearing up to just take a big bite of the latest **** sandwich he's serving up to you. I would think by now you'd be tired of this diet.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Bd2014 said:


> So, either I am being gas lighted bug time or I am plain crazy. I don't know .
> 
> Husband found several viruses on our macs , claims that's why these s3x websites showed up in his history. Saying that all his google stuff are linked. Which is true.
> 
> ...


Have had 4 macs running in our house for 10ish years.

Number of viruses we've had is zero. 

Not saying macs are invulnerable to viruses, but you do kind of have to work at it to get one. What I am saying is that I'm not buying his story at all.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

@Bd2014, 

Viruses do not just magically appear on a computer. A computer is a machine just like an engine--it's not like it has a personality and "goes out" at night and catches a disease! I have both Windows and Mac computers at home, and I can't tell you the last time I had a virus unless I did something stupid or went somewhere stupid. Some examples of ways you get viruses: you click a link on a questionable email--you open a disreputable site--you play a game that is infected with malware--you install a corrupted browser extension. See the common denominator there? YOU DID SOMETHING. You clicked or opened or installed or somehow or other told your computer to go somewhere and do something. 

Thus, if there were "several viruses on (your) macs" that means that somewhere along the line someone click, opened, or installed ... 

There is a kind of malicious software that can execute "on its own" that is called a worm, but again, to get a worm on your computer, you have to click on a link or open an attachment on an email, etc. About 9 times out of 10, whatever you've been browsing gets stored and similarish website advertisings will pop up. Now that doesn't necessarily mean PORN sites...a lot of torrent sites use explicit content advertising to make money, as do some of the less popular online gambling sites. Could be one of those clickbait sites that does cute videos or a gossip rag that talks about the Queen, the Royals and the Kardashians too! 

My point is this: computers are machines--they do what they are told to do. In order to get a virus, something has to have been clicked, opened, or looked at.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Look into blocking sex chat sites at the router level without telling him, and see if he complains about how the internet is working.

That will tell you with fairly high certainty if he's lying.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

bobert said:


> Porn being "pop-ups" or a virus is the first excuse in the book. He is gaslighting you. You know what you saw and no, you did not see it wrong. He told you that you were dreaming about it for God's sake! He has you right where he wants you.
> 
> Has he put you as an account holder on all accounts? As an authorized user? If not, WHY?
> 
> ...


I will try to answer all the questions from each response:

No he has not. I don't know why. I kinda hesitate to ask because I don't want to look like a greed. I have my own bank account and he transfers the money over if I need to get groceries.
But I am agree.... it is not a good situation.

We had a long discussion last night until we fell asleep. We did another recovery run on his phone. He was willing to restore deleted apps, but we could not really find an app just for that purpose. Which ones are legit and to recover deleted apps? 
The recovery found some folders with pictures of his KODI app (he programs fire sticks sometimes and uses this app). Well, KODI does has ALL KIND of channels...also porn hub etc. Recovery found all those pictures of the KODI app and the channels. No private, inappropriate pictures of other females. Recovery was not able to recover deleted videos or messages. Maybe the app I chose wasn't that great. The keylogger had just his google searches and messages to me on it. Nothing bad. But I took it down because I was concerned about his bank information to be exposed. Not sure if these keyloggers are trustworthy or compromise online banking. 

He did offer I can ask for his phone anytime, said he wished I would have asked right then when I saw the suspicious activity. 

I saw him running the virus program on phone, mac laptop and desktop. The virus scanner found viruses and 1 IP number hacked in our system from another country. I saw him running the program, the results and him deleting the faulty files. I don't think this can be faked?

He told me I have to provide proofs to make my case against him, that I can't just accuse him of something he did not do. He insists that I saw it wrong in that morning and that I should have asked him right then. 

He does suggest that we seek counseling (again). We do have the Life360 app for me to see where he is. But that doesn't show his online activities though.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

I did this. But since we have mobile services on our phones... turn off wifi and there you go. I tested it.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> @Bd2014,
> 
> Viruses do not just magically appear on a computer. A computer is a machine just like an engine--it's not like it has a personality and "goes out" at night and catches a disease! I have both Windows and Mac computers at home, and I can't tell you the last time I had a virus unless I did something stupid or went somewhere stupid. Some examples of ways you get viruses: you click a link on a questionable email--you open a disreputable site--you play a game that is infected with malware--you install a corrupted browser extension. See the common denominator there? YOU DID SOMETHING. You clicked or opened or installed or somehow or other told your computer to go somewhere and do something.
> 
> ...



He does uses torrents websites and KODI. He deleted KODI from his phone last night. I posted a snip from his history in the comments on here. Do pop ups show up like that? His argument was that he would have deleted ALL if he would have visited the sex live chat or the one website. He asked me " why would I just leave the website in the history but not delete it all?"


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Ah ha! Now I think we are getting somewhere!

KODI is a free and open-source media player software application. In other words, it's an app that can play movies either on your phone or on a big, flatscreen TV. You can play and view streaming media--so like he could watch Twitch using KODI on his big TV. 

KODI has plugins and addons--those are like extensions that work with KODI to display unauthorized access to copyrighted content. And there are TONS--literally TONS--of KODI porn add-ons. Just do a Google search of the term "KODI and porn" and you'll see "Top 11 Best Free Kodi Adult XXX Sex Porn Addons" and "Best Kodi Porn Addons: How to Watch Adult Movies on Kodi"--many, Many, MANY live porn cams. 

Thus here is my educated guess. You saw what looked like he was logging onto an app (grey dots for the PIN), and then a notification chat kind-of-thing popped up. I suspect he looks at porn on KODI, and in the addons he had installed was an option to "chat" or private message or something along that line. To get into KODI, he has to log on. To get into the porn addon he probably has to log on with a PIN and maybe had to prove he was over 18yo. And if he watched a live cam, he may have been able to "chat" or PM with the person on the other end of the line. 

Now, though, he has managed to delete KODI under the guise of "cleaning up the viruses." And honestly, if he develops things in KODI or writes code for it, the chances of you catching him are slim to none. He is knowledgable and tech savvy and you just are not. 

What I will say is that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are it is a duck! He acts like a cheater. He talks like a cheater. Chances are, he is a cheater--he's just very good at covering it up and hiding it from you.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> Ah ha! Now I think we are getting somewhere!
> 
> KODI is a free and open-source media player software application. In other words, it's an app that can play movies either on your phone or on a big, flatscreen TV. You can play and view streaming media--so like he could watch Twitch using KODI on his big TV.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your knowledge. Helps a lot.
I just logged into our NETGEAR router orbi and I see that the ONLY device that isn't attached is his phone.


Do you have any screenshots of chats in KODI by any chance?
I need to find it for my OWN sanity. 

It would make sense... that explains why he keeps comfortably saying that I should have asked him right then... he would have sold me this as "checking the KODI app" ....


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

This is just an example of what I saw.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

This is just an example from layout of notifications and chat window that I saw. I pulled this from google in hope to find the exact same thing that I saw, no luck so far. The KODI chat rooms look very different. They mostly black and have a weird chat layout/design. But of course...there millions of them.... I just looked through some google results.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> Ah ha! Now I think we are getting somewhere!
> 
> KODI is a free and open-source media player software application. In other words, it's an app that can play movies either on your phone or on a big, flatscreen TV. You can play and view streaming media--so like he could watch Twitch using KODI on his big TV.
> 
> ...



He didn't delete KODI from our TV. Now granted it's the same logis ... how do I look up history and stuff on there?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Bd2014 said:


> ...
> Do you have any screenshots of chats in KODI by any chance?
> I need to find it for my OWN sanity.
> ...


Are you asking if I have screenshots of porn chat on KODI? LOL Ummm...I don't use KODI myself, and I don't watch porn, so I'm afraid I don't have a screenshot of web chat inside a KODI porn addon.

However, here is a youtube video about how to install a certain XXX KODI add-on for free porn. That one add-on has free adult/xxx/porn entertainment including videos, web chat, movies, pictures, and comics. Thus, you could watch a web cam and then chat...

There's another KODI add-on called Chaturbate... obviously you masturbate while you chat with someone.

There's a whitecream add-on that includes chat rooms for snapchat.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

KODI looks something like this. See how it has icons, so if you wanted to open YouTube you'd click on that little image?

On the left side you'd click on Add-ons, and then the icons for the add-ons would open. But I will bet you money that he's cleaned a lot of this already.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Bd2014 said:


> View attachment 69205
> View attachment 69205
> This is just an example of what I saw.


An Android phone has the option to have a PIN that's a number or have a pattern to unlock your lock screen. This is an example of a pattern used to open the lock screen on an Android phone. So you know how your phone goes blank/closes after it's been sitting there a while? If I walked up to it in that sleep mode, it would not just open for me. It would show me the lock screen, which says "Okay, unlock your phone...  " Well, he opens his phone with a pattern.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it.

I also appreciate any recommendations on which parental apps for me to install (and use) are the best ones, same for recovery apps and how to deal with this Netgear Orbi router app. I am trying to learn and to make adjustments until I know where to go from there. Most importantly, I need to know I am not cray cray! The self doubts are killing me right now.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> An Android phone has the option to have a PIN that's a number or have a pattern to unlock your lock screen. This is an example of a pattern used to open the lock screen on an Android phone. So you know how your phone goes blank/closes after it's been sitting there a while? If I walked up to it in that sleep mode, it would not just open for me. It would show me the lock screen, which says "Okay, unlock your phone...  " Well, he opens his phone with a pattern.


No, his phone is completely unlocked. We both have unlocked phones. He was already using his phone and checking news and stuff right BEFORE he used this kind of unlocking. I was wondering that moment...like where is THAT coming from and for what? That's why I actually kept looking through his armpits (he sat with his back to me, sitting on the bed edge).


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Okay, what I mean is that the pattern you are showing there is sort of like a PIN. It's a way of unlocking something...like a password. 

For example, no mac that I know of uses patterns as a security method, but android phones give you the option of facial recognition, a PIN, a password, or a pattern. 

So make sense? That pattern image you showed is an example of a way to unlock .... something. What? We don't know...yet.


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## Bd2014 (Apr 7, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> KODI looks something like this. See how it has icons, so if you wanted to open YouTube you'd click on that little image?
> 
> On the left side you'd click on Add-ons, and then the icons for the add-ons would open. But I will bet you money that he's cleaned a lot of this already.
> View attachment 69207


Kodi is gone. Also from the TV.
Couldn't check it.

I looked up your suggested add ons, but this is not what I saw.
They all look very obviously.


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