# making out... weird question maybe t.m.i



## youngmother09 (Apr 21, 2010)

so im on my period and laying in bed with my husband. and i wanted to like make out..or kiss ya know..just cause.. i dont know i love him i didnt know i needed a reason to wanna kiss him..and he was like no. whats the point its not going to go anywhhere you are on your period im not gona get anything out of it.
what the heck?! i got really mad and left the room and slept in the living room... and the next day he said i took it outta proportion and overreacted and it wasnt a big deal......

i dont even know what to say to him anymore i feel like the romance is gone there is nothing i can do to get it back. or the old him, hes gone.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Unfortunately, I think a lot of guys think this way, whether they express it or not. It doesn't sound like your husband was intentionally trying to be mean or hurtful. I think it's the way they're wired. They really are a domino effect with physical contact, and kissing/making out is really a means to THE end...unlike many women, who want to kiss, make out, cuddle, for the physical and emotional comfort, whether it leads to sex or not.
you say it's like the romance and "old him" is gone...is this something youve been feeling for awhile, or is it a lot worse right now because you're more emotional on your period?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

credamdóchasgra said:


> Unfortunately, I think a lot of guys think this way, whether they express it or not. It doesn't sound like your husband was intentionally trying to be mean or hurtful. I think it's the way they're wired. They really are a domino effect with physical contact, and kissing/making out is really a means to THE end...unlike many women, who want to kiss, make out, cuddle, for the physical and emotional comfort, whether it leads to sex or not.


This is definetly true, when men do these things , they instinctively DESIRE MORE every single time .

With women, the majority is satisfied with JUST kissing, cuddling, this frustrates many many men, so they try to avoid this, they do not like getting all hot & Bothered so the wife can then say " OK honey, time to go to bed now". Then they are left laying there wanting you, and having to take matters into their own hands. 

Here is how to handle this situation in the future, let him know you understand, it might have hurt a little, but that you want to give him what he desires too, flirt a little & happily "go down on him". Trust me when I say, he will be more than happy to kiss, cuddle & hold you when he feels soooo loved in return.


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## changehappens (Sep 14, 2010)

Well, I have to say that I'd have given almost anything if I could have figured out how to get my wife to just want to makeout with me. In fact, it's probably one of the few big reasons why the relationship is on the rocks now. She stopped wanting to just makeout about 20 years ago. I kept hoping it would come back - maybe if I did things different - you know, like doing it 'just' the way she liked. Well, nothing worked and to this day, the kissing thing is a thing of the distant past. She even refuses me going down on her. I quit trying a long time ago. And "happily go down on him"??? Wow, would that ever blow my mind, so to speak!

So, it's not always the 'men' with the problem.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

changehappens said:


> So, it's not always the 'men' with the problem.


 :iagree:Oh I so agree with you! Is it possible SHE does not want to "make out" cause she knows you will want to finish in SEX, as most men do? I agree lots of women do this!! 

Many times I want to get physical when I start kissing & Cuddling and IF my husband left ME high & Dry, I would be AS UPSET as any man in such a situtation.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I would be p/o if my H and I made out and he walked away at the end. That sucks!!
I know you are on your period, but you guys can't have shower sex or something?? I honestly can't blame him, I would have said the same thing. 

I can see your need to be able to kiss him and stuff without him NEEDING sex, but I think you both are going to have to agree on what kind of kissing that is. If you want deep passionate kisses, then I would side with him. If you want cute and small kisses, I might be with you. All depends really.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Maybe I'm weird. There's not much better than some prolonged, heavy "making out". When I was 15-16, I'd eagerly spend hours at it without the remote possibility of sex and almost 35 years later, it's still great fun. If he doesn't like kissing, maybe he's just not doing it right. If we weren't supposed to make out, then why did God give us moonlight and porch swings?


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

I hate to say it to the OP, but i think she is over-reacting. Sure, her husband choose his words poorly. But storming out... that's now how you make a point either. My wife knows not to make out with me ... in bed while she is on her period, because that is a green light for anal.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

When we were dating and first married, it didn't matter if I was on my period, pregnant, whatever - he wanted it and wanted it bad.

But, from what I hear from friends, some men are "grossed out" by the period thing and don't want to get things started when they can't be finished.

Selfish - IMO - yes, unusual - no. I tend to get very horny when its around my period time - hormones I'm sure.

I wouldn't get too upset over it - unless he turns you down on a regular basis, then, that's a whole other thread.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Maybe a little more perspective is due.

if you have sex regularly and on an acceptable (to him) basis, then he certainly over reacted. 

but if sex is less frequent and he views making out something from which he will have no sexual release for days, I think he had a right to decline (although he could have done it a bit more diplomatically).


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I never had a problem making love to my stbx 2nd wife when she was having her period, her flow was usually light and she was horny. Regrettably, during the last few years, a lot of fun activities came to an end. If her flow was heavy she would often give me a BJ if she wasn't hurting.

We had a lot of happy years, alas they are behind us, not just because her libido has gone to 0.




MarriedWifeInLove said:


> When we were dating and first married, it didn't matter if I was on my period, pregnant, whatever - he wanted it and wanted it bad.
> 
> But, from what I hear from friends, some men are "grossed out" by the period thing and don't want to get things started when they can't be finished.
> 
> ...


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

I don't understand this situation. You're married? And you WANT to kiss your husband? I don't get it. Please clarify. :scratchhead:


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## CaptainPicard (Nov 10, 2010)

I can completely understand why you'd be pissed off in this situation. IMO this is no better than when a man wants to have sex & his partner can't get interested or turns him down. I think this was a stupid move on his part. If a guy doesn't understand that kissing/making out is a huge part of a woman's sexual attraction to her partner, he's a dip****. The important thing is here that he's not thinking long-term. His refusal to make out with you just because he won't get sex in the end means that he doesn't realize how much more you are going to want to have sex with him when your period is over. You need to explain to him that spontaneous making out, even if it doesn't lead to sex, is part of what keeps you sexually attracted to him in general and over time. If he's at all interested in keeping that attraction going, he needs to find pleasure in sex-without-release. It sounds like a joke, but maybe you should try to get him into practicing tantra. Ultimately, it's supposed to lead to more fulfilling sex anyway.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

:


Chris Taylor said:


> Maybe a little more perspective is due.
> 
> if you have sex regularly and on an acceptable (to him) basis, then he certainly over reacted.
> 
> but if sex is less frequent and he views making out something from which he will have no sexual release for days, I think he had a right to decline (although he could have done it a bit more diplomatically).


:iagree:


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

You should have said to him..."Why can't it lead to more?" 
Then you could have made your way to giving him a blow job or started kissing him passionately while moving your hand to begin stroking him. This would send a clear message that your needs can be met while his are also being met and your intimacy would be intact rather than the division and resentment that resulted.

I'm not saying you over reacted because your husband's words were cruel and blunt but you could have addressed this afterwards with something like, "I think you underestimate us." 

This way you find a way to navigate around them and keep the relationship flying in the right direction.


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