# We are on separation our anniversary is next month



## Kanemajohnson74 (Jul 4, 2021)

Me and my wife have been separated for three months now...we got married two years ago after dating for a year and it’s been ups and downs she caught me talking to different females before marriage and found a text to a female after marriage saying she looked good but forgave me...... we always been fighting n 90 percent of the time it’s her cause but I have a temper I would end up saying bad things to her sometimes I would threaten to leave her .... I had lost interest in her and we started living like roommates even though I loved her..... three months ago she asked for a divorce,,,I begged twice she turned me down ...we living together don’t have kids together but her own who I still treat the same as before..... she went two weeks without talking to me n because I decided to give her space concentrate on work I’m only home 11pm to 12 pm .... she sometimes tells me to be hanging out with the other kid and how I should keep doing what I’m doing she might reconsider but the problem is she wants us to go on family date night but she’s always nice then goes back to not trying to talk to me...this weekend we spoke for more than two hours she was helping me remove the carpet in our house but later at night it was 4th July I sent a text saying happy fourth she didn’t respond even though the last text she has been responding....haven’t had an argument for 3 months and our anniversary is next month and she knows I booked tickets to Miami where she has been trying to go ..... crazy thing is she had a trip with the kids for same time but when the youngest asked if they where going she didn’t wanna answer.....she has started wearing my jackets again even though her Facebook still says separated..... do you think I should ask her to come with me on vacation later when it’s about time to go ..... I’m thinking she might turn me down and I don’t want to feel that before vacation


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

You certainly need to find out if she is going on the trip with you ( I would do this NOW)--- if not, then either cancel them or just cancel hers.
Honestly, sounds like you caused a lot of damage and she is pretty much done with the marriage.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Cancel the trip. Right now you are over analyzing every little thing she does looking for signs. Stop the hopium.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

If your desire is to fix your marriage you have to talk. Silence makes things worse not better. 
You need MC not whatever you are doing, which isn't working Some trip isn't going to get to the root of the problem. The money you spent on the tickets would have been better spent on a counselor.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

The problem is that you’re separated and not doing anything productive or effective to improve the marriage together.

Your current situation is not productive and probably just drying out a decision to divorce until SHE is more prepared.

i’d suggest it’s time to be decisive. 
Tell your wife that you love her and that you want to improve your marriage and stay together as a family. Tell her that you’re willing to do the work to rebuild the marriage you both want - but you need to do it together. Tell her you’re willing to be all-in, but she needs to be also.

That means the separation ends and you live together and work on your marriage together. If she’s not willing to commit at this point, it’s time to move forward with divorce.


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