# Custody



## meadenurse (Aug 9, 2011)

Does anyone know if infidelity is a reason a judge might award custody to the other parent? In other words, if the wife has an affair is that cause for the husband getting full custody?


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Usually not - unless children were abandoned or endangered. For whatever reason poor morals and judgement doesn't seem to come into play when it comes to being good parent in court's eyes.
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## meadenurse (Aug 9, 2011)

Im sorry but, although it is wrong, I don't believe that it has anything to do with being a good parent. Unless the kids are old enough and know what happened, it doesn't have any bearing on being a parent. It's not like it would be something that would be being taught to the children that it is okay and normal behavior.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

It might be different in different states. Your best bet is to contact a lawyer and ask their opinion on the matter. 

I would think, the only real reason a parent might lose custody would be if the parent was deemed unfit. Such as abuse, or child endangerment etc. However, I'm not real sure, just check with a lawyer.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

meadenurse said:


> Im sorry but, although it is wrong, I don't believe that it has anything to do with being a good parent. Unless the kids are old enough and know what happened, it doesn't have any bearing on being a parent. It's not like it would be something that would be being taught to the children that it is okay and normal behavior.


Usually with an affair, it's covered by lying, hiding and sneaking. A poster here had his wife check in 2 room suite with her kids in one roof - I see her affair as directly affecting her ability to parent.
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## meadenurse (Aug 9, 2011)

So she had an affair with someone with her kids in the next room? If I am understanding that correctly, that is irresponsible and quite disgusting if you ask me. I am not talking about anything like that. I am talking about a one time thing that would happen, somewhere else, not in the home......and you are right an affair is covered by lying, hiding, and sneaking, I agree, and I agree that it is wrong but that doesn't mean that one is teaching their kids to lie, hide, and sneak around, that it is okay.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

meadenurse said:


> Does anyone know if infidelity is a reason a judge might award custody to the other parent? In other words, if the wife has an affair is that cause for the husband getting full custody?


Totally up to the judge's discretion. And local laws.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

The story I was referring to was as you guessed. Mom took tweens for mother/daughter shopping trip and her affair came to hotel after kids fell asleep and had her way with him.
There's a difference between a lapse in judgement and a plotted out affair. Most situations I hear of in no-fault jurisdictions advise that an affair has no bearing on someone's ability to parent. Unless you left your toddler in a car with a bag of chips and soda while you were checked into a one-hour motel, most judges wouldn't put a lot of weight into that.
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