# Am I to blame?



## sm8r (Aug 19, 2009)

I need help. I feel like I'm to blame and maybe I am. I'm a 33 y/o male happily married to my wife who's 30 for over 12 years. we have two children almost 8 and 4. I feel like I'm the driving forced behind our sex lives. She was raised in a very proper house. Sex was like a bad word around her house. She was a virgin until I came along. She never masturbated or had an orgasm until I came into the picture. Now she has sex with me but I think she only does it to keep me happy. I'm fascinated with making her orgasm. That's all I want to do. I'd rather watch her masturbate sometimes than have sex. I buy her dildos and vibrators and anything else I think would make her have a better orgasm. But sex has always been a problem between us. Sometimes more than other times, but lately it's been pretty bad. I tell her what I want like, to watch her masturbate. Usually this occurs after one of our sex fights and then she masturbates for me. Then she won't do it anymore. It's like I have to get mad before she does the things I like. I ask her all the time what she wants me to do for her, but she never has an answer for me. I feel like she won't open up sexually. So am I some sexual freak?


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

No, you are not a freak, but you are working against her upbringing. She was taught to be uptight about sex. She is conflicted, and likely giving in and masturbating for you because she wants to make you happy, even though it probably makes her very uncomfortable. Why are you so fascinated by her masturbating?


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## sm8r (Aug 19, 2009)

I don't know really. I guess it's just a way for me to feel she's opening herself up sexually to me. I would love for her to be more adventurous. A wise woman once told me you can't love someone if you can't love yourself. Maybe I read into that too much.


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

The thing is, if she is doing that ONLY to please you, even if she gets a sexual release out of it, it's tainted. Maybe you guys could make sex a little more fun, try to take some of the pressure off of her to "preform"...go to an adult toy store and get a dice game or something (one of those where you roll the dice and do whatever sexual act/favor comes up when you roll). Do you ever let her watch YOU masturbate, or do it while she is doing it?


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## sm8r (Aug 19, 2009)

She doesn't like watching men. She doesn't get arroused watching porn or me for that matter. She says women don't get turned on my visuals like men do.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

sm8r said:


> She doesn't like watching men. She doesn't get arroused watching porn or me for that matter. She says women don't get turned on my visuals like men do.


Not all true.

My wife, once she's turned on even a little bit, gets extremely horny by visuals, whether its soft core porn (we don't like the hardcore) or her watching me masterbate, whatever, it definitely turns her on even more.


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Yeah, I am a very visual person, especially when it comes to my husband. I LOVE watching him...


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Mommybean said:


> Yeah, I am a very visual person, especially when it comes to my husband. I LOVE watching him...


Yup, my wife has got to the point where she doesn't really want to give me a hand job anymore, it turns her on more to watch me do it.

Of course she does, but she would rather watch me do it.

And I don't complain, because sometimes it turns her on so much (watching me) that she starts giving me oral...


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## Mrs. Switzerland (Aug 15, 2009)

It almost seems as if you are talking about me! I love watching my husband getting pleased, whether he is masterbating or I am looking in the mirror at his face when he is giving it to me hard from behind.
So I understand your facination with wanting to watch her. I also think the suggestion of playing a sex game that the two of you purchase at a novelty store would be a great way of getting her to open up.


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