# Life is a lemon and I want my Money back!



## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

had g friends all my life, some official and some not. 

worked my as$ off for some woman that tricked me into forming a family and then 6 years later she cheats on me and betrays me. 

What else is there to life? 

I dont care about money, I want peace of mind. 

I want to be happy. but what is the price of happiness? 

I pretty much kill myself to live? 

I need to see the light.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Stop looking for happiness with others and find it with in you self.

Counting on others for your own happiness will just get you disipointed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

the guy said:


> Stop looking for happiness with others and find it with in you self.
> 
> Counting on others for your own happiness will just get you disipointed
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




I agree with you.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

has anyone seen the move "into the wild"

I kinda would like to explore that part of life.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Screw that hermit crap
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Very few men actually care about money, so you're not alone. They only make it to give it away, or to get control over people.

Films won't really help you much at the mo. You said in another post about how films had led you astray on how romance works. Swapping romance fantasy for 'living in the wild' fantasy isn't going to help.

You've done all the recommended reading?
You've started your fitness regime?

If you really wanted to live the wild life, you could get two steps closer by taking a carpentry course, or learning a bit of masonry or plumbing. Or learning to make home-brew.

Point is, women can wait. They'll come along when you're busy doing other things. Apparently they're attracted to goal-setters and dreamers _who are taking steps _to fulfil them, no matter what the actual goal or dream.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I prefer these ones BTW:

Meat Loaf - Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad - YouTube

Meat Loaf - You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth - YouTube

Oh you were lickin' your lips
And your lipstick shinin'...

etc


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

Right on, Fan too. 

I like i'd do anything for love. lol 

I'm a handy man in life. I have no career. If i want to learn it I research non stop and learn. 

At this point i'm a very confused individual. I'm not a train wreck. 

I just want to know what else is there. 

I dont care about money. I just want peace and happiness. 
If i owned land and could grow my own food I would. 

and true, chicks happen when you are a hard working man. with a goal in mind. 
that's how i fell into a trap with my x. 
I was very hard working. but got chopped bit by bit until I became unemployed. 
now i need to get back up in my feet and start the fight again. 

now i wonder, do women with same likes exist?


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

I wonder the same thing, friend. But that's just the withdrawal talking.

We both 'know' that there are plenty of women who value practical men like ourselves, over the stockbroker type.

More in fact!

But we are in a funk. Partly it's the economy/society, it doesn't value the manly type as much as the java programmer. 

But this is on the surface. A similar comparison could be the way that on the surface, our society values the career woman and the single mother, but you and I both know that this has nothing to do with what men are attracted to. They don't want some other bloke's kids, they don't want their wives pulling in (much) more money than they do, and spending all their time with male colleagues, working alone with them after-hours.

In fact, they are even minuses. Once again, there is propaganda telling us what is 'good' and the reality of what people are looking for in their partners.

So, realise that everything passes, and you will feel differently in time, and you will also remember that practical men always trump geeks - just that artificially, there is more demand for geeks than there is supply, so their wages are higher just now.

It won't last. Nearly every 15 year old could now become a programmer, and far fewer will have your skills - Change is coming.

In the meantime, work on your own stuff. Also remember that women are not a scarce resource. Men with more money than sense are also ten a penny. A man who has his own goals and ambitions in life, good physique, no hang-ups, this is a rare find. Keep that in mind every time you meet new women, that on the surface it looks like a good woman is hard to find, but believe me, a with-it bloke is unbelievably rare, even rarer among the financially successful men (ironically).

It's _normally _a sellers market for us... just some temporary circumstances and withdrawal hormones means we have the opportunity and necessity to work on ourselves for a while, instead of wasting energy looking for anyone.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Your feeling sorry for yourself, but reality is the only respect you need is your own. You say you worked hard, sounds like you had/have the right work ethic, so let me be blunt.. F*ck what anybody else thinks. Do you.

You get screwed over life becomes a lemon, but when you find a good woman everything becomes sweet.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

DiamondsandRust said:


> had g friends all my life, some official and some not.
> 
> worked my as$ off for some woman that tricked me into forming a family and then 6 years later she cheats on me and betrays me.
> 
> ...


I would advise professional counselling.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

DiamondsandRust said:


> has anyone seen the move "into the wild"
> 
> I kinda would like to explore that part of life.



Have you seen the movie? It's a good movie Hollywood version of a real story. (great soundtrack)

Interesting way to "live" but it didn't seem like a cakewalk. And the end...well. I get that you are feeling life can be cruel and hard it does get better.


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## rubpy3 (Nov 19, 2013)

Man talk about movies, Rocky always gives me the best inspirations.

Back in Rocky 1, when Little Marie gives Rocky the finger and yells at him "Screw you, creepo!" Could his life sink any lower? All the guy cared for was boxing, Adrian, and doing good.. but Adrian didn't give a damn for him at the moment, his locker got taken away, and he got called out a creepo. Yet the guy rolls with the punches, or just literally takes the punches with a cast iron jaw and proves himself eventually.

Or the speech he gives to his son in Rocky 6.


> Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! ... But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

DiamondsandRust said:


> now i wonder, do women with same likes exist?


Differences are what make the world go around. Men and women are as different as cats and dogs. What you have to find is a woman that also knows that.

I'm still trying to find out what the excuse of "He didn't support me emotionally," means. My first thought at that remark was , she needs to take a rest in a mental hospital, I still think that when I see it here. In the past women had mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, cousins, and friends close by to constantly talk to. Men aren't wired for that, proven over and over by research studies.

In the playground for instance, girls chatter unendingly. Boys on the other hand say little, grunt and yell, and they used to fight/wrestle a lot. This ended with modern thought unsupported by realistic research.

The favorite advice I have heard a million times is a man must just listen to his wife, do not offer solutions just listen knowingly and nod occasionally. Offering comments mean you are not supporting your wife. I wonder if that's what women do to each other.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Sandfly said:


> I wonder the same thing, friend. But that's just the withdrawal talking.
> 
> We both 'know' that there are plenty of women who value practical men like ourselves, over the stockbroker type.
> 
> ...


Well this needs repeating!


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

A better movie is SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. You can buy it on dvd now. Its also playing on Showtime now.

*spoiler alert*

This is about a man that finds his wife cheating, and now that I think about it getting even with her OM and getting away with it. I have already said too much. Do not bother with the book, it is one of the few movies that is much better than the book, especially the ending.


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

DiamondsandRust said:


> had g friends all my life, some official and some not.
> 
> worked my as$ off for some woman that tricked me into forming a family and then 6 years later she cheats on me and betrays me.
> 
> ...


Well - I was where you were 2 years ago ---life gets better.
It is good you are looking at things - for me, I feel better now than before. Figured out who the heck I am. I like my own company now. I am just returning from a trip and you know what - I enjoy travelling alone now. 
Realized there was something wrong with my selection process - felt I did not deserve commitment from others...until I got/get that crap straightened away within myself - does matter who I am with...I will not get happiness..we train people how to treat us.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

DiamondsandRust said:


> has anyone seen the move "into the wild"
> 
> I kinda would like to explore that part of life.


You wanna end up in Alaska and starve to death in an old bus?


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## Quixotic (Jan 22, 2014)

We are strange animals. We are not comfortable really being alone. We form bonds with the people we encounter who say what we want to hear. It is no wonder most people marry someone who lives within a few miles of them. It is no wonder our friends and lovers betray us. 

Start being pickier. Start being comfortable in your own skin. Stop giving "fun" power. Stop being self-involved, and focus on being self-improved.

This is my advice to me. I don't know if it might help you too.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

OUR ILLUSION 
ABOUT OTHERS​*
So if you stop to think, you would see that there’s nothing to be very proud of after 
all. What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about? 
A young man came to complain that his girlfriend had let him down, that she had played 
false. What are you complaining about? Did you expect any better? Expect the worst, 
you’re dealing with selfish people. You’re the idiot—you glorified her, didn’t you? You 
thought she was a princess, you thought people were nice. They’re not! They’re not nice. 
They’re as bad as you are—bad, you understand? They’re asleep like you. And what do 
you think they are going to seek? Their own self-interest, exactly like you. No difference. 

Can you imagine how liberating it is that you’ll never be disillusioned again, never be 
disappointed again? You’ll never feel let down again. Never feel rejected. Want to wake 
up? You want happiness? You want freedom? Here it is: Drop your false ideas. See 
through people. If you see through yourself, you will see through everyone. Then you 
will love them. Otherwise you spend the whole time grappling with your wrong notions 
of them, with your illusions that are constantly crashing against reality*

This is an excerpt from "Awareness" by Anthony DeMello. I suggest you read it. Here's the link:

http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Chaparral said:


> A better movie is SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. You can buy it on dvd now. Its also playing on Showtime now.
> 
> *spoiler alert*
> 
> This is about a man that finds his wife cheating, and now that I think about it getting even with her OM and getting away with it. I have already said too much. Do not bother with the book, it is one of the few movies that is much better than the book, especially the ending.


Kind of agree Ch but the through line of coming out of the self delusion - making it to the other side hit home to me. The OM bit was just a vehicle to get him to rock bottom - something powerful to recover from. This movie made me feel great. It was telling that the night I put my WS onto "SLPB" (just after Xmas) she went off her head that it was about losers / f**k ups. It was only 30 minutes into the movie - she must of so desperately wanted top go back to ER re-runs. I interrupted her by building her up to share this great movie together. Obviously she couldn't get past the cheating part early on. She later apologised.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

ThreeStrikes said:


> OUR ILLUSION
> ABOUT OTHERS​*
> So if you stop to think, you would see that there’s nothing to be very proud of after
> all. What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about?
> ...



I'm reading, thank you.


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## lostmyreligion (Oct 18, 2013)

DiamondsandRust said:


> has anyone seen the move "into the wild"
> 
> I kinda would like to explore that part of life.


My wife's a professional artist (painter). A few years back the two of us went to see an exhibition at a major gallery. I can't remember what they called the show, but it was essentially the evolution of North American landscape painting, from the early 1800's through to current.

I was lagging behind, taking in the early works - up to about the 1840's. They were mostly east-coast-idealized western vistas of tranquil seas of grass (or lakes), backed by majestic mountains and illuminated by 'God's own light' bursting through the clouds. 

W had just stepped into the next room when I heard her start laughing. Came around the corner and she pointed at the piece in front of her 

She said "That's a plein air painting! That guy actually went out there, said 'Holy Crap!' and painted what he saw!"

It was a piece depicting an ugly stretch of rapids in a nasty narrow canyon, with hugely foreboding sky and mountains in the background. He completed it with a snarling wolverine on a rock in the foreground.

Maybe a little melodramatic, but I've worked alone in the bush a fair amount and I can honestly tell you from experience that the painting was a hell of a lot more accurate than what I had been looking at earlier.

Despite Hollywood, I can't say I'd want to be out there trying to make it on my own with a pi$$ed off wolverine running around in my head...

Life's a continuous blind corner on a road strapped to a cliff face. You're gonna hit some major potholes. I wouldn't let this one steer you off the edge into opting out of society. At least not until you've dealt with the damage to your front end.

I'm done with all the crappy metaphors now...


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

ThreeStrikes said:


> OUR ILLUSION
> ABOUT OTHERS​*
> So if you stop to think, you would see that there’s nothing to be very proud of after
> all. What does this do to your relationship with people? What are you complaining about?
> ...



Great book, i'm still reading and trying to understand. A while back I was listening to "the power of now" and " A new earth" by Eckhart Tolle.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

well, I have read the book. 

I feel different now. my emotions have changed. I dont let the anger and resentment take control of me anymore. I dont let the depression and the sadness control me. they are still there but as a cloud in a sunny day, it covers the sun the sun but passes me by and it's sunny again.

I do not need her to be happy. 

I dont need a family to be happy. 

If you desire to change your point of view, and feel better then read the book. 

No it's not a magic key, and no it will not do miracles. but If you are willing to read, it will help you. Dont block yourself to new ideas. 

I found it helpful, not just for my divorce situation but for other situations in life. It's a process, it's not instantaneous.


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## DiamondsandRust (Jan 21, 2014)

when i say, i dont need a family to be happy. I mean, i no longer have a picture in my head of my xw, me and my 2 kids. 

I have my 2 kids and they make me happy.


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## illwill (Feb 21, 2013)

Get busy living...


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