# Mail order brides?



## Cooper

So a few weeks ago I joined match.com and since have received about a dozen messages from young women interested in me.lol I'm 51 and when a 25 year old claims she's interested I know it's a scam. Just for the heck of it I set up a yahoo email account and started messaging one of these girls, she claims to live in Russia but who knows, the scam possibilities are endless. She sends me lots of pictures and of coarse she's beautiful, and she ask lots of questions which I answer very vaguly. I'm waiting for the "I need money" message but it hasn't happened yet, but I know it's coming.

I also notice there's all these adds attached to dating sites for mail order brides or such, has anyone actually done something like that? Actually contacted or met one of these women? I mean it's on the internet so it can't be fake right? And they're all so beautiful......

Anyway....just curious if any one has any stories about mail order brides.


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## Darkhorse

My stepdad put an ad in the newspaper for a wife.

He was married 4 months later to some woman. I hated that woman. Still kinda do. lol. Just ew.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My grandmother was a mail order bride. They had 14 children and 13 lived a full life. One child died at the age of 1. There was a big age difference. Like 16-20 years I think. They lived on the farm. My father says that my grandparents were never in love, they just tolerated other. I guess my grandpa was a grump. He died when I was young at 81 years. My grandmother lived to 96 and died a few years ago. All the kids ended up being alcoholics. My dad quit drinking when I was 3. We were never close to my dads side of the family.

My grandma came from Germany 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 827Aug

A pharmacist in our area got a mail order bride from Russia. That was more than 12 years ago. The man had been divorce twice. After being around him for only a short period of time, I could completely understand why his wives left him. He was a major male chauvinist and a compete jerk....among other things. 

I saw the couple a few months ago--they are still together. The lady is definitely not eye candy. However, she worships the ground he walks on and is quite submissive to him. I guess he found what he was looking for.:scratchhead:

Not sure this arrangement would work for most. Cooper, sometimes being alone really isn't that bad.


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## Therealbrighteyes

827Aug said:


> A pharmacist in our area got a mail order bride from Russia. That was more than 12 years ago. The man had been divorce twice. After being around him for only a short period of time, I could completely understand why his wives left him. He was a major male chauvinist and a compete jerk....among other things.
> 
> I saw the couple a few months ago--they are still together. The lady is definitely not eye candy. However, she worships the ground he walks on and is quite submissive to him. I guess he found what he was looking for.:scratchhead:
> 
> Not sure this arrangement would work for most. Cooper, sometimes being alone really isn't that bad.


My husband's uncle bought a woman from Thailand. That was wife number 3. He is on wife number 5 and swears up and down that women are all b!tches. Yup, no common denominator there.
The only positive thing I can say about a thread like this is that your cat is adorable. So, so cute!


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## Soccerfan73

My co-worker friend a number of years ago had a yahoo personals profile, and got a message from some hottie from Russia.

He was all giddy and wanted to show her picture to me that she e-mailed to him. 

Of course, she was stunning. 

Eventually it got to a point where she wanted him to send her money so she could come over and visit. 

He was contemplating it, so I just suggested he try something. I told him to tell her that he lost his job and wouldn't have any money for the next few weeks. 

Shockingly enough, that ended her e-mails.


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## Arnold

The postage to get one of these brides over here must be astronomical. I'd contact UPS or Fed Ex and see if they can do better.

I have two very nice cats, bright. They are males, however, so inherently evil.


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## Jellybeans

Therealbrighteyes said:


> My husband's uncle bought a woman from Thailand. That was wife number 3. He is on wife number 5 and swears up and down that women are all b!tches. Yup, no common denominator there.


Loooooool :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Arnold

Why does he keep marrying *****es? This needs to stop before he loses faith in women.
MEN,PLEASE, DO NOT MARRY *****ES


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## Hope1964

Off topic but I just have to say it still floors me that my husband, who is not a stupid man, was sucked in by these scammers on the dating sites. He actually sent over $3000 to these 'women'!!! Unbelievable.


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## Arnold

Is your husband interested in buying some lunar property?


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## Therealbrighteyes

Arnold said:


> The postage to get one of these brides over here must be astronomical. I'd contact UPS or Fed Ex and see if they can do better.
> 
> I have two very nice cats, bright. They are males, however, so inherently evil.


Two female dogs who drive me nuts and three cats. The boy cat is the awesome one. Naturally I beat him daily because he is male.  Really Arnold, just really?


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## Hope1964

Arnold said:


> Is your husband interested in buying some lunar property?


No doubt eh? I'm embarrassed to even admit what he did. I can't imagine how he feels! (besides really really dumb)

We have two male cats and a female. The female is the evil one. The males are just........males.


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## Arnold

My cats are somewhat gay, I believe(or at least bi). They are still male, however, so I beat them less than I would a hetero male.


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## DeadlyNightshade

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> My grandmother was a mail order bride. They had 14 children and 13 lived a full life. One child died at the age of 1. There was a big age difference. Like 16-20 years I think. They lived on the farm. My father says that my grandparents were never in love, they just tolerated other. I guess my grandpa was a grump. He died when I was young at 81 years. My grandmother lived to 96 and died a few years ago. All the kids ended up being alcoholics. My dad quit drinking when I was 3. We were never close to my dads side of the family.
> 
> My grandma came from Germany
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A mail order bride from Germany? 

Isn't Germany too first-worldish to have mail order brides?


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## UnwantedWife

My only experience knowing a mail order bride was when I was a pre-teen. My church took in a Russian woman (mid-to-late 30s, but looked older and sadder than she should for her age) and her teenage daughter (I believe 15 at the time).
Apparently the woman had been a mail order bride, a man paid to have her and her daughter brought over from Russia but they ended up not getting married. I don't know the details of why not but suffice it to say, the guy was not a good guy and I believe there was some issue with the teenage daughter. Lets leave it at that.

I don't tend to get along with other females (perhaps a by-product of having been raised by a single father who essentially treated me like a boy until the day I sprouted breasts, then wanted nothing to do with me at all? who knows...) so thats why I only have male pets in the house. Male cat, male dog, heck even our hamsters are all male!
That said, I'm currently pregnant with our second child and ultrasound says this one is a girl so I guess I'm going to have to get used to not being the only one in the house with ovaries.  Its kind of exciting, finally have an excuse to look at pink hot wheels cars for a change when we go toy shopping, lol!


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## UnwantedWife

DeadlyNightshade said:


> A mail order bride from Germany?
> 
> Isn't Germany too first-worldish to have mail order brides?


This would have been Germany during a rough political time, no? Not current first-world Germany.


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## As'laDain

i know an old retired green beret that ordered a wife from cambodia. he has a great marriage, they both love each other very much. of course, he spent many years in cambodia during and shortly after the vietnam war...

it makes sense that such a marriage could work if you know everything about and respected their culture. he even took the time to brush up on his Khmer first so she wouldnt have as much trouble learning english.


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## UnwantedWife

As'laDain said:


> it makes sense that such a marriage could work if you know everything about and respected their culture.


:iagree:

Respect for the culture which they come from is probably a large deciding factor in whether or not a marriage started this way is successful or not.
Another deciding factor is probably also expectations. Does he feel he is buying a sex slave and housekeeper, or is he looking for someone who is mutually interested in the companionship that a marriage of convience provides? Is she looking for an easy meal ticket, or does she understand that both parties will have to make efforts for a successful relationship to grow?


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## YinPrincess

Does it ever work?

It humors me that my husband contemplated this for awhile, (we were just friends at the time). He was really lonely apparently. I wonder if these relationships ever work out? It just seems like such an obvious set-up - one in which the man is likely to lose...

Then again, he's also said he sees nothing wrong with paying for sex... That's a different thread altogether, though. :rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sparkles422

Sounds so hollywoodish. 

Are there any "male order grooms"? 

I think, myself, I would be a leetle concern in this day and age. In days of yore, it was done because there weren't alot of women in the early days of our country but not the case now.

If it is meant to be it will happen.

Just be savvy my friend.


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## CalifGuy

In my wife's culture (she is Christian from the Middle East but has been in the USA for about 25 years), many of the men still return to the Middle East to select their wives.

More often than not, the men are able to do better than they would, otherwise, as these women, naturally, want to come to the USA and will marry a guy who either is much older than they are, shorter than they are or is not so great looking in order to do so.

One of my wife's uncles is about 55 years old but a tall good looking man and relatively successful and about 7 years ago, he went back to his home country and at 48 years old, he picked himself up a 20 year old wife. They have like 3 kids now and seem happy and she is still a knockout and I guess he's held up well for his age but, still, it doesn't seem right to me.

My own brother, who has always been socially awkward, had the equivalent of two mail order brides. While they were not mail order brides, they were each undocumented aliens (alien from Mexico or Central America, not alien from another galaxy) at the time they got together. This was so odd to me as we grew up surrounded by privilege and, although, we are latino, all his friends were white growing up and he didn't speak a word of Spanish.

He never had even a casual girlfriend or date in high school or college but she was basically a housekeeper that worked for a relative that set her sights on him--a floundering, fat, awkward 22 year old still living at home but with a nice car, a good job/career, a family with a little money and, most importantly, a U.S. citizenship! 

Well, it didn't take long for him to learn Spanish fluently and it wasn't long before he married her, only for the marriage to come crashing down a few years later when another similar woman came after him and he couldn't resist, or so I am told.

Didn't marry that woman (although he nearly got killed in his pursuit of her by her pissed off Salvadoran boyfriend) but he did win another Salvadoran woman as a consolation prize, a decent looking, although unremarkable woman who probably has no more than a 4th or 5th grade education but who now has her own nanny, her own housekeeper, drives around town in her Mercedes and has my brother wrapped around her finger and who continues to feed him and feed him, although he is nearly ready to explode (300+ pounds) while she keeps herself fit...she'll be damned if he is desirable enough for any other similar woman to come after him...lol.

I see where the attraction could be in going after a mail order bride or other similar desperate type woman yet it would never work out for me...I am too much of a snob, I guess, and believe that I can find almost as good on my own from an American woman who is not desperate. (my wife has been a citizen since she was about 13 years old, 16 years before I met her!) I don't want to be anybody's husband just because my wife was desperate to improve her situation.

But, to think I could go to Ukraine or Russia and come back with a 5'9" 135 pound bombshell of a wife, half my age (20 to my 40) sounds half tempting, but not really. What the hell would we even have in common? It is frustrating enough when my wife or I think the other one of us should know something and be familiar with something that we are not, and that is from two people who grew up less than 10 miles away from each other and separated by just 7 years, but imagine how bad it would be to be divided by 20 years and growing up in entirely different cultures? No thanks.


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## CH

You get to sign a pretty 10 year contract with the US government when marrying someone from another county to bring them here.

Divorce, they go on government assistance, you get a pretty bill for every penny they pay out to her.

My brother married a girl from China (not mail order) and he had to sign a contract, show proof that he made enough money to support her here....

I was like wow, I'm not sure that's worth it with the divorce rate at 50% or more in the US.


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## Cooper

So anyway.....back on the track we go.....

I have no intention of getting a mail order bride, at this point I'm to lazy to even date my neighbor let alone someone from the other side of the world! Besides I'm sure she would get damaged during shipping and turn up at my door all broken and tattered, and we all know how hard it is to get money from a claim against UPS! 

I posed the question just to see if any of these women are real or just some sort of money scam lurking on sad and lonely men. And I guess the answer is yes to both kinds.

And girls...picking on a man and his pee wee is only funny when he just got out of the water and there's some shrinkage, otherwise it's just mean! How would you like it if I described your breast as 34 long? Oh boy, derailed again! Now I can't stop thinking of granny boobs!


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## Trenton

Cooper said:


> So anyway.....back on the track we go.....
> 
> I have no intention of getting a mail order bride, at this point I'm to lazy to even date my neighbor let alone someone from the other side of the world! Besides I'm sure she would get damaged during shipping and turn up at my door all broken and tattered, and we all know how hard it is to get money from a claim against UPS!
> 
> I posed the question just to see if any of these women are real or just some sort of money scam lurking on sad and lonely men. And I guess the answer is yes to both kinds.
> 
> And girls...picking on a man and his pee wee is only funny when he just got out of the water and there's some shrinkage, otherwise it's just mean! How would you like it if I described your breast as 34 long? Oh boy, derailed again! Now I can't stop thinking of granny boobs!


I think some are real and some it's a scam but either way you know they want to be with you for an ulterior motive. If you're OK with that ulterior motive than go for it. The worst thing that could happen is you lose some money. The best thing is that even though your relationship started out because she wanted a free ride and you wanted a ride with a hot chick...you both fall helplessly in love with one another.


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## RandomDude

I despise mail order brides or any 3rd-world country *****s considering what one filipina chick did to my father who unlike my mother is still struggling to find himself company as he retires. Then again, our people themselves have that problem, spread your pretty legs and find yourself a man from a rich country.

I've always wanted to settled down with a woman of my own race but I was left with only 2 types; materialistic *****s, or extremely proud and nationalistic types. I highly respect the nationalists, because they wouldn't go for me unless I'm committed to their country as they are, not to mention they are extremely loyal to our cause, but I stand for our people, I don't stand for our 3 nations because I simply do not believe us being minorities in our own land and not having much say gives us enough reason to be committed and loyal to those who have subjicated us for centuries.

But that's beside the point. I simply don't see mail order brides as anything more then prostitutes. But as my father put it rather eloquently "who cares? I can enjoy her for 2 years and once I get bored she'll end up leaving on her own anyway! win win!" Dirty old bastard he is


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## As'laDain

in the case of my green beret buddy, he lived in cambodia for 7 years. i think he prefered their women.


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## At wits end

I don't know what it is like now, but I actually met my wife on Match.com about 12 years ago. Sure we are having problems now but has nothing to due with meeting online. 
There are certain ones you just know to stay away from because they are just looking for meal ticket and visa. Lived in Hawaii for a while and cannot tell you how many times I was asked if I wanted to marry someone's neice from the Phillipines, heard to many horror stories about that to fall for it.
Point is , it is possible to find someone on the web , but you gotta sort through alot of hay before you find the needle!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhGeesh

What's the point again? If you want to score ridiculously hot chicks go join a * sugar daddy * site and fork over some coin. 

One of the many hobbyist websites.

Mail order bride why waste your time. If you don't know of the websites I speak PM me.


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## Seraphina

Soccerfan73 said:


> My co-worker friend a number of years ago had a yahoo personals profile, and got a message from some hottie from Russia.
> 
> He was all giddy and wanted to show her picture to me that she e-mailed to him.
> 
> Of course, she was stunning.
> 
> Eventually it got to a point where she wanted him to send her money so she could come over and visit.



LOL, we must know the same sucker or this is a common Russian scheme. My co-worker (in his mid-40s) was in the same predicament with a Russian girl (20s) he was communicating with on one of the online dating sites like match or eharmony. She e-mailed him photos of herself in lingerie which he proudly showed to the guys in the office. From what the guys tell me, she's very pretty but the pics look like they were taken in a photo shoot so it wasn't a spontaneous pic of self in mirror. Everyone except the sucker thinks she's e-mailing lots of suckers and waiting for someone to take the bait. If she were a US citizen, she would be way out of his league. They talked about her visiting him in the US and after a few weeks she asked if he could pay to fly her over to see him. When he said he couldn't do that, we never heard him talk about the Russian girl again. For now he's sticking with women in the US but he hasn't gotten a second date with anyone yet.


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## moco82

I've read about police in Russia and other countries arresting the most egregious scammers who got too greedy and stopped covering their trails. It's amazing how many men, from Norway to New Zealand, fork over the money for "visas" and "tickets". How lonely must you be? To test the waters, if you're corresponding with a lady (BTW, photoshoots are more common in some countries, so professional-grade photos are not necessarily a sign of a scam), find one from the same country/region in your area (who's been there for a while and is immersed in your culture) to just hang out and talk to see if there is a flying chance you'll get along with someone not accustomed to your local lifestyle.

On the other side of the equation, examples of older mail-order brides were mentioned. They seem to envision a happier life than their previous marriages, but sometimes end up in ******* backwaters with less-than-perfect husbands. And then you hear in the media of stories of domestic violence and/or child abuse that involve various countries' diplomatic corps. Are those women so myopic that they can't stop and think: if this guy can't find companionship in his own culture, how hard would it be for you, a foreigner, to get along?


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## hookares

There's no end to the number of lonely women who are interested in companionship right here without the need to send money off to some scammer in Nigeria.


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## moco82

The real issue is the demographic/economic equivalent of diffusion in biology. Imagine a matrix showing countries' wealth and their genetic make-up as far as the northern hemisphere's idea of female beauty goes. In some countries the ratio of attractive women to middle-class men is very high; in others very low. In the former, attractive women's expectations of men are lower; in the latter, well-to-do men's expectations of women are lower. In a globalized world with easy travel, where national-security considerations such as visa regimes are the only real barriers, it is only natural these polar opposites would find each other. And scammers would feed at this nexus.


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## *LittleDeer*

I never met a man with a mail order bride that I've respected.

If he has done it to make her life better and help get her out of an unstable country and a bleak future then maybe I'd look at it differently.

Every man I've ever met who has done this has been a pig, who cared only for himself and thought he would be getting a woman who should do whatever he wanted. 

Gross.


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## 67flh

a guy at work has made 3 trips now to china looking for a wife, first trip after e-mailing for quite awhile once he got there he quickly realised they hated each other so he basically bummed around china for a week. 2nd time over he hooked up with a gal and they got along great,went over 1 more time to made sure,and she's presently on her way in a couple months,we will see how this pans out---and no he don't have a boat load of money,just a regular guy.


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## Seraphina

My brother is in his 40s, has no luck with women in the US, and prefers younger women. He went back to the Thailand area to seek a wife. Two years ago, he was chatting with some Thai girl nearly half his age every night. She eventually sent a photo of herself and he liked what he saw so he went overseas to visit her. He was treated like a king, got engaged, gave away thousands of dollars, and threw a fancy engagement ceremony. He returns and tells us she's not as attractive as the picture she had sent and thinks her friend is prettier. 

Fast forward a year, he's keeping his options open and returns to Thailand and he calls to tell us he's engaged to a girl he just met. Again, he throws a lavish party, buys gold, gives her family $20,000 (keep in mind the average ANNUAL income for her area is $500 so $20K is like marrying a millionaire for them) for her daughter's hand in marriage. He takes her and her family on an all-expense trip around Asia and apparently she really knows her way around. The village she is from is very small so a lavish engagement ceremony is sure to be noticed so several of villagers contacted us in the US to give warning that his fiance is a prostitute and her mom is the madame. This was confirmed by multiple people in the village. When my brother returned, we told him what we discovered. At first he said if it were true then he wants to break off his engagement. A week rolls by and he says even if it's true, he doesn't care because she can still become a good wife. Wow. If a guy doesn't care that his fiance is a hooker, there isn't much else I can say to change his mind. My sisters and I tried to talk him out of it for a full year but to no avail, my brother successfully petitioned to marry her and she's arrived in the US today for the first time as his wife. I have disowned him and not going to her welcoming party.

She isn't credible either. In fact, her age changes from 21 and then another time, she said she was in her mid-23. After further digging, we find out she's been engaged to a Canadian before but the guy rejected her because he found out she was a prostitute. There are also women from the area who say she's slept around with their husband. It's been reported she's been gambling away the monthly money my brother was mailing her while he was waiting for her US marriage visa to go through. She goes around telling her hooker friends what a stupid pig my brother is and he is under her complete control. When this news was passed to my brother, he refuses to believe she thinks that little of him and lives in a state of denial. He brags about how her and her mom treated him like royalty when he was visiting.

I just want to knock him over the head! This situation is so ridiculous, I can't believe it's happening within my own family! His self-confidence is so low that I don't think he will ever leave her no matter what or WHO she does. She would be the one most likely to leave him when a better catch comes along. Once that happens, he'll save up money and return for another mail-order bride. He's a lost cause.


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## *LittleDeer*

Seraphina said:


> My brother is in his 40s, has no luck with women in the US, and prefers younger women. He went back to the Thailand area to seek a wife. Two years ago, he was chatting with some Thai girl nearly half his age every night. She eventually sent a photo of herself and he liked what he saw so he went overseas to visit her. He was treated like a king, got engaged, gave away thousands of dollars, and threw a fancy engagement ceremony. He returns and tells us she's not as attractive as the picture she had sent and thinks her friend is prettier.
> 
> Fast forward a year, he's keeping his options open and returns to Thailand and he calls to tell us he's engaged to a girl he just met. Again, he throws a lavish party, buys gold, gives her family $20,000 (keep in mind the average ANNUAL income for her area is $500 so $20K is like marrying a millionaire for them) for her daughter's hand in marriage. He takes her and her family on an all-expense trip around Asia and apparently she really knows her way around. The village she is from is very small so a lavish engagement ceremony is sure to be noticed so several of villagers contacted us in the US to give warning that his fiance is a prostitute and her mom is the madame. This was confirmed by multiple people in the village. When my brother returned, we told him what we discovered. At first he said if it were true then he wants to break off his engagement. A week rolls by and he says even if it's true, he doesn't care because she can still become a good wife. Wow. If a guy doesn't care that his fiance is a hooker, there isn't much else I can say to change his mind. My sisters and I tried to talk him out of it for a full year but to no avail, my brother successfully petitioned to marry her and she's arrived in the US today for the first time as his wife. I have disowned him and not going to her welcoming party.
> 
> She isn't credible either. In fact, her age changes from 21 and then another time, she said she was in her mid-23. After further digging, we find out she's been engaged to a Canadian before but the guy rejected her because he found out she was a prostitute. There are also women from the area who say she's slept around with their husband. It's been reported she's been gambling away the monthly money my brother was mailing her while he was waiting for her US marriage visa to go through. She goes around telling her hooker friends what a stupid pig my brother is and he is under her complete control. When this news was passed to my brother, he refuses to believe she thinks that little of him and lives in a state of denial. He brags about how her and her mom treated him like royalty when he was visiting.
> 
> I just want to knock him over the head! This situation is so ridiculous, I can't believe it's happening within my own family! His self-confidence is so low that I don't think he will ever leave her no matter what or WHO she does. She would be the one most likely to leave him when a better catch comes along. Once that happens, he'll save up money and return for another mail-order bride. He's a lost cause.


I am sorry yo are having trouble in your family. 

However a man (your brother) who is willing to treat women like commodities and basically buy a bride, should not be worried if his wife were a prostitute as that would be a hug double standard IMO.

Consider this though, if his wife is a prostitute she probably didn't have much say in it, given a lot of the conditions for women over there. Her best prospect was marrying a strange man for money. That's very sad. Sadder yet is the men who take advantage of the unfortunate position of these women. 

Perhaps treat her with kindness and respect, as she is still a human being. You never know what may happen in the future but at least you ill have behaved with grace.


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## Caribbean Man

Lots of Czech mail order brides/ girlfriends down here!
That seems to be the " in vogue' thing for the rich and famous.


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## Illbehisfoolagain

Seraphina said:


> My brother is in his 40s, has no luck with women in the US, and prefers younger women. He went back to the Thailand area to seek a wife. Two years ago, he was chatting with some Thai girl nearly half his age every night. She eventually sent a photo of herself and he liked what he saw so he went overseas to visit her. He was treated like a king, got engaged, gave away thousands of dollars, and threw a fancy engagement ceremony. He returns and tells us she's not as attractive as the picture she had sent and thinks her friend is prettier.
> 
> Fast forward a year, he's keeping his options open and returns to Thailand and he calls to tell us he's engaged to a girl he just met. Again, he throws a lavish party, buys gold, gives her family $20,000 (keep in mind the average ANNUAL income for her area is $500 so $20K is like marrying a millionaire for them) for her daughter's hand in marriage. He takes her and her family on an all-expense trip around Asia and apparently she really knows her way around. The village she is from is very small so a lavish engagement ceremony is sure to be noticed so several of villagers contacted us in the US to give warning that his fiance is a prostitute and her mom is the madame. This was confirmed by multiple people in the village. When my brother returned, we told him what we discovered. At first he said if it were true then he wants to break off his engagement. A week rolls by and he says even if it's true, he doesn't care because she can still become a good wife. Wow. If a guy doesn't care that his fiance is a hooker, there isn't much else I can say to change his mind. My sisters and I tried to talk him out of it for a full year but to no avail, my brother successfully petitioned to marry her and she's arrived in the US today for the first time as his wife. I have disowned him and not going to her welcoming party.
> 
> She isn't credible either. In fact, her age changes from 21 and then another time, she said she was in her mid-23. After further digging, we find out she's been engaged to a Canadian before but the guy rejected her because he found out she was a prostitute. There are also women from the area who say she's slept around with their husband. It's been reported she's been gambling away the monthly money my brother was mailing her while he was waiting for her US marriage visa to go through. She goes around telling her hooker friends what a stupid pig my brother is and he is under her complete control. When this news was passed to my brother, he refuses to believe she thinks that little of him and lives in a state of denial. He brags about how her and her mom treated him like royalty when he was visiting.
> 
> I just want to knock him over the head! This situation is so ridiculous, I can't believe it's happening within my own family! His self-confidence is so low that I don't think he will ever leave her no matter what or WHO she does. She would be the one most likely to leave him when a better catch comes along. Once that happens, he'll save up money and return for another mail-order bride. He's a lost cause.



The poor girl was *****D out by her own mother, and you blame and judge her! Thats terrible, shame on you! OF COURSE the girl was engaged before, she's probably been dying to get away from her sicko mother. I am wondering, if you have disowned your brother, how do you know what this woman is saying to her "hooker friends" anyway? Likely your brother is happy to have you out of his life anyway, sounds like you are really into "he said she said" games anyway.


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## Seraphina

Illbehisfoolagain said:


> Shame on you!...Likely your brother is happy to have you out of his life anyway, sounds like you are really into "he said she said" games anyway.


Ummm...you have some issues to hit below the belt like that. I don't play games like you accuse. Sometimes those who care the most are the ones willing to tell their loved ones the hard truth instead of sugar coating things. Some people can't handle the truth and in that sense, my brother has some relief if I no longer want to talk to him because he would rather live in a state of denial.

I concur it's very sad how his bride was treated by her mom and surely there is psychological trauma that will remain. In no way am I minimizing what she's gone through. I am all for people wanting to change their life and would be more accepting if all she wanted to do was escape and find a better life. But the manner in which she carries herself - by going about bragging about her great con speaks volumes about her character. Either multiple people are lying about her character or she's the one lying (and she's had inconsistent stories). If everyone is lying then I will owe her an apology but everything is pointing towards a user who will continue to manipulate. She's confronted some of her accusers from the local village to taunt people that they can talk all they want because he's wrapped around her finger and will do anything she tells him. This doesn't sound like a very sweet SO now does it? My brother isn't innocent either but since he's my brother, I tried to look out for him. They're equally guilty of marrying for the wrong reasons. This is a marriage not built on any respect or love. It's all about using each other and that disgusts me.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Hope your brother doesn't become a victim of a greedy wife cleaning him out financially or, worse yet, deciding she'd rather have his life insurance money than him. How long until wife starts bringing MOM & various relatives over here to start leeching off of him.

Sorry state of affairs, but he doesn't want to hear it.


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## Seraphina

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> Hope your brother doesn't become a victim of a greedy wife cleaning him out financially or, worse yet, deciding she'd rather have his life insurance money than him. How long until wife starts bringing MOM & various relatives over here to start leeching off of him.
> 
> Sorry state of affairs, but he doesn't want to hear it.


Knowing my brother, I'm sure he's already offered to send her mom money overseas and bring mom-in-law to the US ASAP. He has a tendency to overextend himself to make himself look better. People see through it so those who aren't users are put off by his behavior and opportunists see him as a cash cow. He desires companionship and having his own family but with the way he puts on airs, I've always predicted he'd end up with a user because they're the ones who aren't in it for his charm, or lack thereof. I hope I am wrong about her but I doubt it. Her coming to the US is just the tip of the iceberg. I predict she'll milk him until he has nothing else to offer.


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## unbelievable

If men shouldn't be married to women who have motives of financial gain, there will be very few weddings in the future and over 90% of us are headed for divorce.


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## RandomDude

One has to be very careful with mail order brides. I know both sides - I've met women of my people looking to move to a first world country and marriage is their instant green card. Of course they still want the same thing, as all of us -> to love and to settle down, the only difference is that they see no future in their country and want to move.

As I was born in a first-world country, I've had alot of proposals from women of my ethnic, but truth is - they were all shallow. I knew what they wanted, and the genuine women of my people are too patriotic to 'escape' the plights of our people, let alone intermix racially and dilute our people's future any further. It's mostly materialism unfortunately with the former, and there's ALOT of them. But it's no different then local women who want men with 6 figure salaries etc - materialism is everywhere, in developing countries it's just more visible

It's funny though, those of my people wanted me to marry a woman of my ethnic, even if I had to import her. But wait a second, I have a woman here who isn't part of my ethnic, but who genuinely loves me and not my money or visa, why would I choose a mail order bride over her?

So now many of them are p-ssed I'm diluting our people's future by intermixing. There are two types of women among my ethnic, the materialists and the patriots. The former we've discussed, the latter won't go for me unless I move THERE. So in the end, fk it!

I'll stick to my local wife thank you! lol


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## hrdhtnmn

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeachGuy

I have a co-worker that found his current wife on one of those websites in the Phillipines. They are happily married now (6 years I think). He said "American woman don't know how to treat their husbands anywhere close to women in other countries. They appreciate their men who take care of them way more than American women. American women are spoiled."

Not saying I agree or disagree. I have no idea as I've never dated a woman from another country. But that's what he says.


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## aston

Darkhorse said:


> My stepdad put an ad in the newspaper for a wife.
> 
> He was married 4 months later to some woman. I hated that woman. Still kinda do. lol. Just ew.


Isn't that what we do in politics? it's just a 4 yr marriage though...lol and then sometimes we renew the vow or file for divorce.....but no one takes half LOL


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## aston

827Aug said:


> A pharmacist in our area got a mail order bride from Russia. That was more than 12 years ago. The man had been divorce twice. After being around him for only a short period of time, I could completely understand why his wives left him. He was a major male chauvinist and a compete jerk....among other things.
> 
> I saw the couple a few months ago--they are still together. The lady is definitely not eye candy. However, she worships the ground he walks on and is quite submissive to him. I guess he found what he was looking for.:scratchhead:
> 
> Not sure this arrangement would work for most. Cooper, sometimes being alone really isn't that bad.


Two former co workers had brides from Thailand..one is still married and appear content (difference between content and happy). The other would be his THIRD mail order bride.
I find it disturbing that they would treat women like catalog items...

New Jersey is the WORST state regarding mail order brides. Immediately after marriage she owns half...needless to say many eastern european brides sitting pretty right now lol.


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## aston

arnold said:


> why does he keep marrying *****es? This needs to stop before he loses faith in women.
> Men,please, do not marry *****es


lol amen


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## aston

Hope1964 said:


> Off topic but I just have to say it still floors me that my husband, who is not a stupid man, was sucked in by these scammers on the dating sites. He actually sent over $3000 to these 'women'!!! Unbelievable.


I've got a bridge with a unicorn galloping over a lake thats got sharks with frickin laser beams attached to them. IS he interested? :rofl:


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## Ikaika

Of course picture brides (old school form of mail order brides) date back hundreds of years in Hawaii. Immigrant farm labor were left with either marrying into native population or saving up money to have a picture bride sent from the homeland. I did some ancestry digging on my wife's fathers side of the family. My wife's grandmother was a picture bride from Japan. 

Description, she came from a poor farming village in Japan rode in steerage for almost 40 days. Arrived at Honolulu harbor with the equivalent of $2 to her name. Three days later she was married to my wife's grandfather. They remained married till the grandfather died. Old school... I guess new (picture) mail order brides don't have the same code of values. 

From those very humble beginnings, my wife's side of the family is made up of 40+ relatives very close and loving. I am fortunate to have married into such great people.


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## thunderstruck

I have a neighbor, 50+ yo, overly nice guy. He brought his new and younger 6' model-looking Russian bride over to meet me one day. They quickly had a couple of kids, and then she wanted him gone. I was coming back from dinner one night, and saw him cuffed in the back of a cop car. I asked him about it later. He claimed that she was punching him all the time at home, and when that didn't work she started calling the cops on him. He moved out, and they recently finished a $$$ divorce.

Poor guy is now broke, and trying to rebuild his life.


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## aston

thunderstruck said:


> Poor guy is now broke, and trying to rebuild his life.


I keep saying this.....if a one legged blonde took Paul Mcartney for $200 million, you can imagine what a woman on two legs (or any woman if you asked me lol no offense I'm just saying) from eastern Europe is capable of :lol:


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## Enginerd

I've seen many engineers import and marry Asian women over the last 20 years. Some foolishly take them right out of the bars. There is one common denominator among these men. They all couldn't buy a date in the US. Most lacked confidence and when they received attention from a desperate 3rd world women they gained some kind of false confidence and feel like real men. Some end up finding jobs as expats and live their lives thinking their wives truely love them. Most end up supporting the whole extended family during this process. I use to tell young engineers that these women only see $$$$$ on their backs.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

I think the only safe kind is the kind that Lars got himself in Lars and the Real Girl. What was her name, Veronica or something like that? She was hot, and everybody loved her.


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## thunderstruck

Enginerd said:


> I use to tell young engineers that these women only see $$$$$ on their backs.


I'm an engineer, surrounded by engineers, and I see this a lot. Several guys here are paying big dollars to support their wife's extended family in the Philippines. Some of these guys had literally never been on a date with a woman, so maybe it's worth it at any price.


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## CH

BeachGuy said:


> I have a co-worker that found his current wife on one of those websites in the Phillipines. They are happily married now (6 years I think). He said "American woman don't know how to treat their husbands anywhere close to women in other countries. They appreciate their men who take care of them way more than American women. American women are spoiled."
> 
> Not saying I agree or disagree. I have no idea as I've never dated a woman from another country. But that's what he says.


Does she send money back to her family all the time? Some of these do work out, but alot of them know the 10 year mark where they can get 1/2 of the assets and alimony checks for a very long time, especially if they don't work or work in min wage jobs.

As long as the money keeps flowing, they stay happy. When the money stops flowing, that's when all hell breaks loose.


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## Catherine602

Doesn't mean these men are not happy. They have a woman that other men envy. They would never have attracted such a woman in their society. 

Maybe it is worth the price. Their self esteem increases, they get to have hot sex. They may have to pay for it but they would have to pay to maintain a home anyway.

I don't think it's impossible for these shy men to be loved with time. Some men who are shy are gems, if a woman takes the time to get to know them. But these women are human and not totally immune to feelings. 

I think the mistake these men make is not to study the culture. If they did, they would be able to pick out the good women and not the predatory ones. It is exactly the same in American culture. 

I think it is sad for the men and women. Maybe the few years they do have together are at lest satisfying.


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## moco82

Caribbean Man said:


> Lots of Czech mail order brides/ girlfriends down here!
> That seems to be the " in vogue' thing for the rich and famous.


Nice, borderline First World! Must be something upscale about importing mail-order brides from a country that consistently ranks in the top 20-30 in the Human Development Index.


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## Xtine000

Do not, not, NOT marry a mail order bride. My mother was a mail order bride from Finland(now Finland is a wonderful place- it wasn't for her back then, it was a poor country). She met my father while she was traveling in England, not through a "service", but she only knew him for 2 months before they got married, he was looking for someone, she was escaping poverty...same scenario, same dynamic.

If I could only convey the full extent of the misery that ensued. He treated her as an indentured servant. He beat her. I was born a year later, he beat me for 16 years until I got big and strong enough to beat him back. He wouldn't teach her English because he didn't want her to have friends. He drank. He controlled the house. He screamed and threatened to kill us. He walked naked in the house on a regular basis and exposed himself to me, his daughter. He moved us every year because he lost jobs due to drinking. I had to live in a different place every year till I was 10 years old.

She cheated on him after 10 years with someone she met whom she truly loved and got pregnant with that other guy's kid, but THAT guy wouldn't marry her because he was already married and had kids. My materialistic mother didn't want to be a single mother of two kids, so then had the psycho ******* raise the new daughter also rather than "move into a smaller house with no garden", in her own words.

I moved out at 18. I wasn't allowed back except for a couple days or so here and there. There was no "failing and moving back in with mom and dad" for me, it was do or die. 

My sister now doesn't speak to me, more problems with having different fathers creating problems within the family. 

I suffer flashbacks and emotional problems from abuse and being raised as an indentured servant rather than a child and watching my mother be degraded, attacked, sexually abused and then ignored and treated as a second class citizen by the culture she aspired to belong to. 

I was raised away from my Finnish family and as a consequence are not very close to them, although I'd like to be. He forbade her to teach me Finnish so it was hard to speak to them back when I was growing up, so he deprived me of a wonderful family. 

Do NOT, WHATEVER YOU DO, Marry a Mail Order Bride.

The thing to remember is that she does NOT want to be tied to you, she just wants to be here. My mother told me every day how much she hated my father and wished he would die, or that she could kill him, etc.


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## DocHoliday

The son of a really good friend of mine (former now) ordered himself up a Philipino gal. (He visited her once before bringing her over).

The marriage did not last, so to expidite her going home, he called the police on her (for domestic abuse). She barely understood the language, let alone laws, so she nodded to everything, she went to jail, then on the streets.

They did not deport her, she new nobody in this culture, she was living behind a church, when friends and I got wind and found her.

She was very much shunned by the Philipino Churches/networks in this area, they see this (being a mail order bride) as lower than prostitution. She had nothing. 

Even tho he signed a "deal", nobody made him take care of her. It was a mess. NO greencard (can't work), abuse allegations (cant get under the table in home care - not even cleaning) - had a "restraining order" NOT to go near her husband/home...

What a fricking mess that was. In the end, the judge believed her, set her lose, they got divorced - but she did get a green card. 

WE have found out she has a mental disorder (she hears people talking who are not around her)... what a mess.


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## Xtine000

My mom also has mental problems, this was confirmed when I was finally able to visit my mom's family at age 35. Her sisters said that she was "born old" and had always been "different" and "strange" and have "strange fears" the rest of them did not have. I always suspected something was wrong with her. Not only was she not worldly at all, the result of having grown up on a farm in Finland far removed from most city culture, she was also overly emotional about the smallest thing and would start crying at the drop of a hat. She firmly believed that if she left my father that not a single person would help her and she'd be living in the street with her children. I don't know why she thought that, Finland does not do this to their citizens. It's the best country in the world as far a social services is concerned, its' a Democratic Socialism and people want to move there because of that. I'm not sure where my mother's fears came from but they prevented her from leaving an alcoholic man who beat and sexually abused her and her child and caused massive problems. She is still with him now! He is 70 now and is too slow to do the things he did when he was young but it's obvious he has mental problems as well. I will never forgive her for making me have to exist under those conditions till I was 18. She is in denial about a lot of it and claims "she can't remember". She now has epilepsy that destroys her short term memory and is on medication. But I know she remembers but just doesn't want to talk about it. She does talk about other things that happened back then.

The last time I spoke to her I was struck by how strong her denial really is. She really wants to believe that "everything is ok now", even though one of her daughters(me) needed therapy for years and still never got married or had children as a direct result of the situation (who would want to get married when they were raised in a marriage from Hell?), and the other daughter got married right away to a controlling man and now almost never sees them, she doesn't know her real father's family and has no idea of medical history etc and her real family doesn't even know she exists and that the children from that family have a half sister, and in addition the two daughters don't speak to one another.

They have very few friends as seniors (my father would drive away most friends) but they have a neighbor from Peru who speaks to my dad and my mom has a cousin in Baltimore, and she now gets to travel to Finland about once a year to see her sister. That's the full extent of their social lives unless you count speaking to the grocery store clerk. My sister visits and I visit with my current boyfriend. My sister's husband is 300+ pounds and finds it hard to travel. My sister weighs about 110 lbs- yes, her husband is 3 times her size or more. I'm sure there's a story there with that psychology but I won't go there.

The situation is as good as it CAN be, it very easily could have ended up with the daughters as alcoholics or drug addicts or some other really bad malady, or with one or more of us dead or severely wounded from all the violence that used to go on, but we have good genes and good heads on our shoulders. I was able to recognize that I needed therapy and get it. But the toll has been enormous- no children? My mother with no friends and no life- HER WHOLE LIFE? A whole family that if I want to see them I must fly to Finland? It's a strange and terrible situation to be in, the one bonus is that I got duel citizenship from Finland which turned out to be a great country so if I wanted to I could ditch the USA and go live in a place that truly takes care of it's citizens. But after being raised here, I would be leaving good friends, my boyfriend and business. WTF? It's a confusing and bad situation.

I remember when neighborhood mothers saw what was happening to me and approached my mother one day and begged her to leave my father. She cried, and her response was to, that year, go and get pregnant with some other man's kid and then attempt to get THAT man to marry her. She COULD NOT imagine life without some man. This F-ed things in our "family" up even more.


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