# Feeling guilty because my son got hurt



## losing_hope (Dec 1, 2011)

Yesterday, when bringing my 2 and a half year old son home, he was playing with some alphabets in the car. As usual, he had not napped during the day, so he was tired. 

So he dropped some of his letters in the parking lot as I was walking with him home. He wanted to go get them now, but instead of letting him, I wanted to take him inside, and go pick up the letters at some later point.

But this did not bode well with him. He threw a big tantrum. And just as he threw himself on the ground, I heard a car coming. Normally, when he throws a tantrum, I would just let him lie on the ground and see if it subsides. But this time, since I heard the car, instead of letting him on the ground, I pulled him up.

Unfortunately, that hurt him.

I didn't realize it at first. It wasn't until later, when I realized that instead of a tantrum, he was in pain. 

There was no visible damage. We gave him some pain killer, and tried to ice the hand. He could move his whole arm, although he didn't want to and protested.

This morning, he was still complaining about the arm. So he went to the doctor. The doctor said the arm was probably OK, but that it should be x-rayed. Still waiting for the x-ray results.

But now I feel so guilty about it. There are a lot of things I could have done differently. Pick him up. Realize he was hurt, etc. etc. The car stopped for us. Of course I didn't know it would. 

My conscious mind says that accidents happen, and still it's better that his hand hurt rather than have him being run over by a car. 

But I just feel so guilty. Not to mention I wonder what other people are going to think of me now.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Why do people have to think anything? You don't owe an explanation. Kids get hurt.

It sucks that you know you caused his pain but..it was an accident and you didn't mean to hurt him. Snuggle him and love him. It's ok.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

I can't stand it when my H picks one of our toddlers up by their arm... And I get on to him if he starts to do it. I put myself in their position, and being picked by a body part seems painful. That said, you made a mistake and hopefully you won't do it again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mark Val (Mar 2, 2012)

losing_hope said:


> Yesterday, when bringing my 2 and a half year old son home, he was playing with some alphabets in the car. As usual, he had not napped during the day, so he was tired.
> 
> So he dropped some of his letters in the parking lot as I was walking with him home. He wanted to go get them now, but instead of letting him, I wanted to take him inside, and go pick up the letters at some later point.
> 
> ...



---You just did it in Human Impulse ( Esp a Maternal Impulse as of here) at the Context, viz an Act of Care against The Act of Car...


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Why would you feel guilty when you protect him from getting run over by a car? That makes no sense.


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## losing_hope (Dec 1, 2011)

Thanks... Turns out he had Nursemaid's elbow, no fracture. The doctor pulled the elbow to its place, and he was better immediately...

I still feel guilty, but not nearly as much, after reading that it is a common thing to happen, and even to the doctor it seemed to be routine...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Cherry said:


> I can't stand it when my H picks one of our toddlers up by their arm... And I get on to him if he starts to do it. I put myself in their position, and being picked by a body part seems painful. That said, you made a mistake and hopefully you won't do it again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It was in a situation where she thought she was getting him out of harm's way.

I'd pick my kid up by the hair if it kept her from getting hit by a car.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My BIL was playing with his daughter (toddler aged, can't remember how old she was at the time) and was swinging her around by her arms when the same thing happened to her. she loved getting swung. We were all surprised to learn that this can happen, and that its also more common for girls... I swing my son around all the time, and he loves it, so I will continue to, but I think he is now old enough that this wouldn't happen.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

The same thing happened to me as a child playing with my grandfather, I would swing back from him while he was holding my hands and he would pull me back up and then it just happened. It happens, I guess, a lot. I did not even know this type of injury had a name even though it happened to me

It is too bad that you are struggling with the idea that you hurt him. I would have done the same thing no questions about it. You did what needed to be done to protect your child.

@cherry~ I see your point but in this case there was a chance at life being lost. It is one thing to pick them up like that just because or to move them or whatever, but if it is the possiblity of a little harm to my child vs. their death or seriouse injury, I am picking them up by whatever I can get my hands on at the time.


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