# The R expiration date



## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Milk has it, beer has it, and it looks like Relationships have it also.

The common thread here is the lack of sexual activity between couples AFTER the romantic period of the relationship.

1-5 years in after the comfort level has been attained it seems that people, and I hate to say it but mostly the woman, lose their site of what captured his heart in the first place.

Now everything has to be even here. He cant be some beer guzzling slob that spends zero quality time with his wife and spends every minute of his free time on x box or in front of ESPN. He has to be responsible also.

IF all things are even why can the spouse not understand the importance of this in our relationship?? Is there an expiration date where its just time to move on? So many on here are staring down that barrel of either D or separation or a massive loss of respect and it is all the same story. The mate will not, can not, and refuses to be sexually active with the partner on any type of regular basis.

I explained it to my GF like this after she said I wanted it to much. I eat at 6am and in about 4 hours I am hungry again. Then 4 hours after that. I need food to sustain myself. 

I also need sex to sustain my relationship. Maybe not every 4 hours and maybe not every 24 hours. But after 48 hours I am hungry and if you make me wait 7 days my hunger is extreme. do you want our relationship to starve???

That is why I bring up the expiration date. Call it non committal, call it selfish, call it what you want. But there is a definite theme here and a lot of unhappy people that have let the expiration date expire and are still trying to figure it out.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

and I would like to add this:

It would be interesting to hear from couples, men and woman, who are on the same page sexually from the START and CONTINUE to be. What do they do to keep it that way? Were they just so compatible from the start and stayed there.

How do you know you have an HD partner that will stay that way?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

well now that you figured it out. time to pitch it in the trash and go shopping!

If you explained and talked to her and she is indifferent then time to move on espically if your not married.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Well, I'm the woman and he shut down the sex long before I let myself go and gave up.

When I pulled myself back together it was not for him, it was for me.

I think relationships do reach stale points and it is up to both parties to make an effort to keep things pleasurable and rewarding.

It is very hard to step out of a vicious circle and turn things round. Unless both parties truly want to make it work, it won't. Even if they stay together for whatever reason.


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> Milk has it, beer has it, and it looks like Relationships have it also.
> 
> The common thread here is the lack of sexual activity between couples AFTER the romantic period of the relationship.
> 
> ...


"I explained it to my GF like this after she said I wanted it too much"

There's your answer. She's complaining about too much sex. Your HD, and she's either LD or low average. 

Time to move on and find someone more compatible,


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I don't believe there is an expiration date on a relationship so much as a point in time at which a relationship will start to loose it initial momentum if nothing is done to keep it up. The problem is that eventually most couples will get caught up in the day to day hassles and forget about their spouse. When we first started dating we went out of our way to do things for them a make sure they felt loved and appreciated. This behavior is not just for new couples. It's necessary for the duration of your relationship or marriage if you want it to last. My wife and I personally experienced this and eventually healed our marriage by simply choosing to care more for each other and making each other more of a priority. 

In my experience most long term successful marriages involve couples that still treat each other like they did when they first met.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Rayloveshiswife said:


> I don't believe there is an expiration date on a relationship so much as a point in time at which a relationship will start to loose it initial momentum if nothing is done to keep it up. The problem is that eventually most couples will get caught up in the day to day hassles and forget about their spouse. When we first started dating we went out of our way to do things for them a make sure they felt loved and appreciated. This behavior is not just for new couples. It's necessary for the duration of your relationship or marriage if you want it to last. My wife and I personally experienced this and eventually healed our marriage by simply choosing to care more for each other and making each other more of a priority.
> 
> In my experience most long term successful marriages involve couples that still treat each other like they did when they first met.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree.

I would imagine if you went to your wife and explained something you felt was lacking in your relationship instead of saying "well you dont do this or that" she would probably say "what can i do to make it better"

In other words she cares enough to try and do things that make you happy even if she has to go out of her way to do it. 

And I would imagine you would do the same.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Cyclist:
Please tell me/us you returned that ring....


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## mankerlia (Dec 18, 2013)

I think relationships do reach stale points and it is up to both parties to make an effort to keep things pleasurable and rewarding.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Animals are programmed to find a 'mate' and have offspring so continuing the species.
There are many species who once the male has impregnated the female either die or get eaten by the female.

We humans are animals albeit at the top of the tree.

We are on our 'best' behaviour whilst on the 'hunt' and during the courtship period. But once we have had children, and so ensured the continuation of the species, our blueprint is that we've done our bit for mankind and thats it.

So we have a slight conflict going on...our blueprint says 'you're done now, no need to work at it' yet because we are intelligent (!) we realise we need to keep working.

Marriage after children needs work to keep it alive...work by both sides.
Sadly I think the 'animal' instinct in many people is too strong and once they have children they tend to give up.
Applies to man and woman.

Afew become real tigers or cougars! ;-)


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

No expiration date, per se, no. But it does need maintaining.

We've had slightly slower patches, or slightly more active patches, but generally things have been pretty good, because we both put effort into it, make time for each other, and focus on each other's needs/wants to a significant degree. (If I'm feeling frisky, but she isn't, she'll make an effort to get in the mood, or be accommodating at least. If she is, she knows she can get me interested very easily...)

And we still have date nights, time without the children, interests together and interests apart.

I guess we're still in love.


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

Rags said:


> No expiration date, per se, no. But it does need maintaining.
> 
> We've had slightly slower patches, or slightly more active patches, but generally things have been pretty good, because we both put effort into it, make time for each other, and focus on each other's needs/wants to a significant degree. (If I'm feeling frisky, but she isn't, she'll make an effort to get in the mood, or be accommodating at least. If she is, she knows sh
> 
> ...


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## RaiderGirl (Jul 3, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> and I would like to add this:
> 
> It would be interesting to hear from couples, men and woman, who are on the same page sexually from the START and CONTINUE to be. What do they do to keep it that way? Were they just so compatible from the start and stayed there.
> 
> How do you know you have an HD partner that will stay that way?


"]We have been married a really long time. We had sex on our first date and its been good ever since.. We vowed to do whatever it takes to keep it good.

What we do to keep it that way?
Sex is a priority. At a reasonable time every evening he starts lock down to go to bed. We don't wait for fatigue to set in. 

Foreplay begins early in the day. Long kisses, ass pats, help with chores, kindness, sexy talk. 

Variety: positions, sex toys, self videos, couples porn, lingerie, whatever..... Every time does not have to be epic either. Touching, oral , hands are all good . 

Seduction 
: Tell me what your going to do , make me think about it. HIM: " When Im working today I willl be thinking about how you taste" ME: ( speechless) but Honest, that kept me thinking of it all day.

We each also agreed that sexlessness is equal to infidelity. Whats the difference? Its a betrayal just the same.:rules: 


[/SIZE]


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## Cyclist (Aug 22, 2012)

RaiderGirl said:


> "]We have been married a really long time. We had sex on our first date and its been good ever since.. We vowed to do whatever it takes to keep it good.
> 
> What we do to keep it that way?
> Sex is a priority. At a reasonable time every evening he starts lock down to go to bed. We don't wait for fatigue to set in.
> ...



You have hit the nail on the head.....MAKE IT A PRIORITY.

It takes flirting and touches and nice comments and being close but you both have to make it a priority.

Ive said to my GF 50 times...when 8:30 rolls around I want the door closed and us looking at each other like we cant wait to get naked.....

Imagine if that could happen 3-4 times a week??? Both of you hungering to be that close and have that intimacy. Thinking about it during the day...building up anticipation of what will happen tonight..

Obviously you and your husband have lite the flame and have kept it going. If more of our spouses on here would react like both of you have this section of the board would be filled with great sex stories instead of stories of not enough....


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> and I would like to add this:
> 
> It would be interesting to hear from couples, men and woman, who are on the same page sexually from the START and CONTINUE to be. What do they do to keep it that way? Were they just so compatible from the start and stayed there.
> 
> How do you know you have an HD partner that will stay that way?


I have always thought men need sex often. We have abstained for a while after the birth of a child, or an illness, but other than that, anytime is fine. I find it kind of funny to read about people "scheduling" sex. And I think it is incredibly sad to hear some people only have it a few times a year. Still can't wrap my head around that.

Dh is very caring and listening, so that certainly helps me to want to please him in general. But I think there is also the expectation that there will be frequent sex, and I comply with that.

It is really helpful if you make expectations clear at the beginning of a relationship, and hold to them. It is sad to think that marriages can unravel over this one issue.


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## RaiderGirl (Jul 3, 2013)

Cyclist said:


> You have hit the nail on the head.....MAKE IT A PRIORITY.
> 
> It takes flirting and touches and nice comments and being close but you both have to make it a priority.
> 
> ...


I think its important to be real too . When expectations are not met, disappointment sets in, and then comes dissatisfaction. That heat we have when we first met changes. The passion morphs with each decade you two are together. It grows from heat to a desire and a need. You want your mate , you need your mate, your feel connected, loved, satisfied, physically good with each sexual encounter. But to be truthful with you, -that OMG, I will die if I dont touch her/him- kind of fire does not stay past a few years. Which is a good thing, I would never get anything done. :rofl: I like what you said about the flirting and hunger. Does your GF feel the same? If your GF is not passionate now it WONT-EVER-HAPPEN. Marraige doesnt fix that and neither will the passing of time.


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