# Back after Three Years (Post Natal Depression)



## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

Well, didnt think id come back on here but here i am.
Ended up getting divorced 2 and a half years ago 

met a new partner, been together 2 years....lifes great

had a baby 3 weeks ago, now partner is a shadow her former self ( i understand that) but sick of getting abused non stop which she has never done

look im very understanding etc and have a previous child with ex wife, but im struggling to cop the abuse i am getting the last 2 weeks.

She is a glimpse of herself and as my ex wife did, im seeing major signs of depression 

Everything i say or do is attacked, which she has never done.
I still see my first child, 3 days every 3 weeks which has been the case the last 2 years and now my new partner is playing the first child against the second child card...wtf?

Constatantly saying i should worry about daughter and she will worry about our son, also so scared of my ex wife and doesnt want us to do drop offs anymore....shes losing it.

she has no support and limited family around which isnt helping at all.

anyway, about to call midwife and see if they can visit her, i work full time and she is at home....ill get blamed and abused for that tonight too.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Post-partum depression is a profound, debilitating, out-of-control, hormonal imbalance. It is overwhelming. Life-altering. And the worst part is, you never think (as a woman) it will happen to YOU.

I envisioned the new baby phase as a Johnson's baby shampoo commercial... sunlight, rocking chairs, smiles, tickles... instead I got a black cloud, mood swings that would rival a bipolar maniac, debilitating depression, and being totally "checked out" of my real life.

Get her some medical help pronto. This is not within her control. A good shrink and some short-term anti-depressants will do wonders.

*DO THIS FOR YOUR CHILD.* This is not a healthy place for either of you to be.


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

thanks, very very sad.
I get home from work...i do all the house work, cook tea every second night, go down the st get the groceries, do the washing....which is bareable.
but to be talked to like crap for a full 14 days for the first time in our 2 years im not tolerating for much longer.
I have called the hospital and arranged a check up for her, ill get abused for this but i dont care.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

brendan said:


> I have called the hospital and arranged a check up for her, ill get abused for this but i dont care.


Good move! The thing is, she is not thinking clearly right now due to the postpartum depression. She will be majorly p*ssed at first; then she will thank you when the cloud lifts.

No one can predict who will get PPD. Women with bad PMS (or even worse, premenstrual dysphoric disorder) are more prone to it.

I know it's hard on you, but with luck and some appropriate medical care, this too shall pass.


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## anonfrank (Apr 18, 2013)

Having gone through this, I advise you to find a good psychiatrist ASAP, perhaps by hooking up via the hospital your child was born at. You will be vilified by her for doing so, but the fact is this is a medical condition. You wouldn't stand by if her appendix popped and she needed a doctor. This is the same.

You are doing the right thing...stand strong.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

brendan said:


> thanks, very very sad.
> I get home from work...i do all the house work, cook tea every second night, go down the st get the groceries, do the washing....which is bareable.
> but to be talked to like crap for a full 14 days for the first time in our 2 years im not tolerating for much longer.
> I have called the hospital and arranged a check up for her, ill get abused for this but i dont care.


Like others have said, you HAVE to get help for this woman. I've never had PPD, but I have had D and when you're IN it, you're simply NOT thinking clearly and are sometimes unable to make rational decisions about your own care.

Also, please don't give up on her. I know you're hurting with the way she's treating you, but try to hang in there!!!


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

had a big talk, told her not to talk to me like crap and its normal for her to feel down in the dumps a month after birth and be irrational, i said if doesnt approve in the following week i will call a counsellor from the hospital.


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## anonfrank (Apr 18, 2013)

brendan said:


> had a big talk, told her not to talk to me like crap and its normal for her to feel down in the dumps a month after birth and be irrational, i said if doesnt approve in the following week i will call a counsellor from the hospital.


Waiting another week won't help. Do it now, for her sake and yours.


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

yes, i should have done it straight away, but didnt.
just done it then and they are contacting her later.

she continues to run me down and complain about my daughter that i never see mind you.

I was seeing DD every third weekend as we are 4 hours away, but changed it as current partner wasnt coping with new born and helping me look after daughter.

i now see her 10 days a term in school hols/when a family member can bring her up.

well my mother is coming up for a couple of nights this weekend an i said to partner "should we ask my mum if she can bring her up for weekend," wellll.

she lost it and said NO. WTF?
because i would have to conatct ex wife to organise it....


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

went to counselling together,

+was good

+counsellor feels so bad for current partner in the way she has been treated my my ex wife for 2 years.

+counsellor is concerned about how with each argument, my partner reverts back to the first day of our new borns life.


I rang up my daughter straight away and got my mopther to bring her to hospital to see her new brother, after partner and i spoke months before how we will just have us 2 and the baby for first 48 hours.

i couldnt help it and was excited got ppl to come up, partner hates me for it....


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