# how to get the other woman to confess what my husband actually did?



## underrain (Apr 24, 2012)

My husband had a texting emotional affair but i couldnt read all the messages. my husband passed a polygraph that he never intended to leave me, never had sex with anyone, and never fell in love with anyone. However the nature of the texts is very emotional and flirty. both deny anything. there are over 200 texts a day betweeen them. "you make me happy" " i love being around you" cant wait to c u" are some of the texts along with complaining about their spouses. 
however ny husband does send her pics of me and our son? weird. My husband will never tell me the full truth he just shuts down when i mention it. and ive called the girl and emailed her but she denies anything but being close friends. 
how can i get her to confess the real truth? with out a restraining order? i dont think her husband knows....


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds to me like your husband might have been having cyber sex with this woman. That's a very different thing from in-person-physcal sex... but it's sex.

A restraining order will not help you get any info from her. You would not be able to talk to her once you took out a restraining order.

You should tell her husband. He might be able to get more info. The two of you could share info.


----------



## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

Polygraphs aren't reliable

200 texts a day is highly indicative of much more than you are aware of

Most importantly the problem is with your husband not the other woman.

Him "shutting down" when you ask him questions should be unacceptable. The fact that you let him get away with that and then go after the other woman for answers is totally the wrong way to handle this.

You're a doormat.

More like a punching bag.

And hubby knows it too.


----------



## underrain (Apr 24, 2012)

but why would he take a polygraph and she and another coworker say everything is innocent


----------



## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

You keep missing the point.

Your husband is LYING to you!

He isn't TELLING YOU THE TRUTH and he NEVER WILL

You know this so you are trying to get information out of the OTHER WOMAN.

Don't you see how pointless this all is if he won't come clean?

He doesn't CARE how you FEEL!


----------



## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

Leave the OW alone.

Focus on the person that you can influence.

YOUR HUSBAND!


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I have a newsflash for you. You will never get the OW to do anything. You can't control other people--even your husband. 

The OW is a person who knows your husband is married and flirted with him anyway. The OW is a person who covered up her wrongdoing and justified sending hundreds of texts a day to a married man by saying they were "friends." The OW is a person whose moral compass is broken and she has shown willingness and ability to lie to your husband, you and herself. 

WHY, all-of-a-sudden, would she tell the truth? And of all the people to suddenly start telling the truth to, why would it be you? 

:scratchhead: 

I'm just saying....it's not gonna happen.


----------



## JustWaiting (Jun 28, 2011)

I read and reread the polygraph questions. If the test was accurate, he probably didn't love her and probably had no intention of leaving you. He may not have progressed to a physical affair, but it certainly sounds like it was headed that way. But let's be blunt about the answer saying he hasn't had sex with anyone. Have they held hands? Kissed? Fondled? He may believe that is not sex. My wife once told me that BJs are "just flirting". 

Your bigger concern is that it sounds like he is on the prowl. Avoid the other woman. And don't focus so much on the other woman that you miss signs of his next target.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Leave the other woman alone other then to expose the A to her husband. If you do this don't let the OW or your WS know you are doing this.

The fact that he is not sharing is exactly what my wife did in 2010. She had a sexual EA with a stranger she met on FB. Thousands of texts. I had to get all the information and she would lie, lie, lie. If I did not have the hard evidence she would not admit to anything. Even when I had the evidence she still lied. I asked her if they talked on the phone. She told me no, three times. I would come home and we would sit and talk and I would ask her. After two days of no we never talked on the phone I showed her on the third day the phone records. She said, oh yea, we talked on the phone, he wanted to hear what I sounded like. 

Then my wife thought I got all the texts from the phone company. I could not get them. I would need a court order and you can't get one for this. She to this day thinks I got them. Anyway, she did start answering questions only because she thought I knew more but even then I had to play games like, I know you did this (when I was only fishing) and she would says yes I did. But she never ever gave more details or admitted to anything without me asking her over and over again.

Your husband will hide and lie. My wife is now more open to coming clean after her PA but if your husband is like my wife was in 2010 you may never ever get anything out of him. He is rug sweeping.


----------



## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

you were there and saw _him_ take this polygraph? you heard the questions and verified everything?


----------



## In The Dark (Aug 24, 2011)

Your husband may or may not be having sex with her, but he is making you uncomfortable by investing so much time and energy into this "friend". That being said, if he knows it makes you uncomfortable(obviously he knows since he took a polygraph) and he won't do anything about it, then you've got problems. Tell him to drop her or you will be dropping him.


----------

