# Need logistical advice on moving out from those who've been there



## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I feel ready to move out, and now that I do, I feel anxious about doing it as soon as possible. But I don't want to make choices without thinking them through and make a mistake either.

When dealing with a separation, in your opinion is it better to find a place you can easily afford so you can save $, or better to find a place you actually like to help with the inevitable depression? (Saw a rental online I loved, and several apartments that are just ok but about $150 per month cheaper).

I have bills I need to pay off. I make decent money, not a ton.

I moved to a town I would never have considered if my H didn't live here already. My current plan is to stay a year (I cannot file for divorce until a year of living separately in this state), and if he wants to get counseling and will pay for it (he does not work now, so he'd have to actually get a job for that to happen) I will go.

Most likely I'll be leaving this area for somewhere else after the year is up- who knows where- I have no kids and am free to do pretty much whatever I want within my financial bounds.

I would like to move my stuff out of his house gradually. Or is it better to get movers and get it over with in one shot?

What has your experience been? Grateful for any input.


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## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Sorry I didn't see this or I would have answered earlier.

With my first divorce, I was just happy to have gotten accepted into any place. I was so beaten down with him telling me I wouldn't never be able to do anything without him.

I would go for the one easily afford and add your own touches to it. You will be amazed how free you feel once you have moved out.

I would move out in one shot and be done with it.

Once the burden and stress was gone, it was wonderful how good my life could be.

good luck


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I did not see this thread earlier either. Wonder how it slipped by. :scratchhead:

When I moved out is was in one move. It was a clean cut so to say.

When do you plan to tell him of your plans?


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

Since you have bills to pay off and plan on moving in a year or keeping that option open...go the affordable/cheaper route and add your own touches...everything tigger said...and yes all one move...definitely. 

Good luck and good for you!


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## DumpedAgain (Feb 14, 2013)

I think moving can be freedom, not only from getting on
With your life but finding a state or part of town that has greater
Advantages , lower taxes,more jobs, better ratio
Of men to women etc

Personally, when I move after the big D I am going to get the 
Heck out of Illinois , an economically dying state


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## SecretTears (Jul 18, 2010)

I went for option B - an apartment that I LOVE that is $200 more than what I wanted to spend. I am so happy with my choice. Every time I come home it feels cozy and warm and in my opinion it made such a huge difference coming home (alone) to a place I really like. Also for me $200 isn't THAT big a deal, I just had to put a budget together. It is amazing the $ that you find you have if analyze your spending and tighten your belt a little. I had to give up/pare down some frivolous spending but for me the trade off is worth it.

As for the move, do it asap and all in one go. Unfortunately I didn't do that because the first time I went to pack up my things I was an emotional wreck and so was only able to get about half of all my things. Now it's been almost 3 months since I moved out, half my stuff is still at his place, I don't have the key anymore and after my emotional melt down last time I don't even have the courage to go back to get the rest. Just thinking about it makes me anxious. Wish I'd just done it all then and there even though it was hard. 

Good luck!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Since you're talking about moving again once your separation period is up, I'd probably go for the cheaper place and save some money for that period. Make it "yours" by decorating it. 

And get your stuff out at once, rather than dragging it out over time.

C


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