# Disposed



## hollydoll (Jan 19, 2013)

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. He left me on Christmas Eve '12. In the past year, I have come to the conclusion that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Even knowing this, my despair and devastation is intense. I can't let go. To be completely honest, he is making a fool of me. I have allowed myself to be convinced that this is all my fault, and if I try hard enough I can fix it. The more time I have to think, I understand that his manipulation has influenced me to feel this way. Still, I obsess over how to get him home. I feel like half of me is missing. I would do almost anything to have him home again. Is this textbook for a victim of a narc? I have never been the bottom in a relationship before. Men were very replaceable to me until him. Why is this so HARD?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's so hard because you have remained engaged in the game with him. 

While he may or may not have NPD no one should take your 'diagnosis' seriously. You are not qualified to make it. I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it so that you let go of whatever has you hanging on this this idea that you are sucked into the NPD and his game.

You are 100% incontrol of ending this. From here on out treat him according to the 180 (see link below). Go no contact with him if at all possible.

Get into some IC (individual counseling). With those two things you should be on the road out of this.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

If you think it would help I got a pdf copy of "I hate you, don't leave me" and "walking on eggshells", and also "dissarming the narcissist" on audio tape. If you want I could send the to you through email. They may not help your marriage, but the tools such as defining and keeping boundary will. 

Also if he is very narcissistic, enough so to leave you on Christmas eve and blame you for all of his problems..... He did you a favor removing himself from the relationship. Take it from me and many on here who have been married to crazy-making exes who made us feel we did EVERY-LITTLE-THING-WRONG in the marriage. You may not see it now, but you're free.... and not too far from being happy again. 

And men are replacable, at least the bad ones are..... Good men are like precious diamonds. Once you find one worth the price you don't ever let him go.


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