# Any advice would be appreciated.



## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

Long boring story, but I am so lost I have nowhere to turn. I just moved five states away from home with my family. My husband came down a month after I got here and set up the house. His second day home, I found out through the laptop that he has been having an affair with a woman from ****** ******* for six months. He has in that time met and had oral sex with others from the site. The main woman is my primary issue, as I read the 6 months of Yahoo chats with her. I have spoken to her, which is stupid I know. He has admitted to having 5 emotional affairs and two sexual ones over the last 4 years. He said that moving away was a blessing he was looking forward to so he could start over. 
I am alone here, and I have no idea what to do. He swears that it's over, and that it meant nothing, he was just looking to "feel better about himself". I am lost.. any advice would be helpful.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

to be honest, your husband is a serial cheater and very unlikely to change

get a lawyer


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## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

I know.. I agree. I find myself stuck in some sort of uncontrollable denial. 
Thanks for the response though!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I'm always to first one to recommend R here too, so you know when I say it's bad, it is bad
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

5 emotional affairs? They couldn't have been all that emotional if he could just jump through them that quickly.

Your husband sounds like someone in deep need of therapy, because he is not able to understand or stick to boundaries in relationships. It isnt just that he is cheating, it's that he's hyper cheating, living life as a single without regard to his real life.

I would say both divorce him, and have him get some serious therapy to deal with his obvious emotional problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

I'm so sorry. A little confused though.

What happened when you discovered the other affairs? Or did you find out about them all at once.


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## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

When I found the communications between him and the long term girl, I asked him whatelse I didnt know. He was like a waterfall, every thing he has ever done came flying out of his mouth. 
I think that I actually feel bad for him on some level. I had no idea that he had so many issues.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

wow, it usually doesn't all come out at once (most get trickle truth), makes me wonder what he hasnt told you


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## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

he's in therapy and cries constantly. I am positive there is more to this, but I can't prove anything.
I feel like I am being stupid for even speaking to him. Some days I feel like nothing even happened. How awful is that?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

dmb41 said:


> he's in therapy and cries constantly. I am positive there is more to this, but I can't prove anything.
> I feel like I am being stupid for even speaking to him. Some days I feel like nothing even happened. How awful is that?



denial is a common coping mechanism, what you need is the anger


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## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

I know.. It's just hard to be mad at somone who is so pathetic.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well there's a start (calling him pathetic)


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## dmb41 (Nov 8, 2011)

Thank you all, I am glad I found this place. I will be back!! I feel better and not so alone now.


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