# Affair with younger men ?



## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Hi,
What would be reasons a 46 year old female have an affair with a 22 year man ? I ask because my wife done that.
thanks,
Ricky


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hi,
> What would be reasons a 46 year old female have an affair with a 22 year man ? I ask because my wife done that.
> thanks,
> Ricky


I guess the same reason the man would do it. It's more about the sex than the experience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

thanks for your reply Treyvion.. I was hoping it be other reasons then sex.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Like what? True love? Destiny? That he made her feel special like she hasn't felt in years? 

What reason would be justifiable?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

The sex. She wanted rabbit lovin. And she wanted validation from a younger man that she is still desirable at her age. No matter how good a husband you are to her, you cannot give her that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

treyvion said:


> I guess the same reason the man would do it.


Just that simple.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Validation, perhaps. Maybe as she gets further into middle age it's like a mid-life crisis. Maybe getting a young man makes her feel like she still has "it" - whatever that may be (sex appeal, attractiveness, etc.). Agree with bandit.45.


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## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

What did your wife say about it?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Ricky2424 said:


> thanks for your reply Treyvion.. I was hoping it be other reasons then sex.


It may be the fantasy and exploration of the younger mind. Greater impulses, adrenaline, etc but that's all sex and fantasy. They still could come to love each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Now...what do you want?


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> ...she wanted validation from a younger man that she is still desirable at her age.


That's about the long and short of it. At least, from what I have seen with friends and from myself. Although, when I had my cougar moment (I was 36, he was 21) I was single. Not in any type of relationship. It happened on a cruise. But truth be told, had it not involved sex but rather just flirting, I would have been satisfied with that. For me it was about having someone young and attractive find me young and attractive.

Single or not.... I was broken inside. 

Your wife is broken inside. 

I'm sorry.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

IrishGirlVA said:


> That's about the long and short of it. At least, from what I have seen with friends and from myself. Although, when I had my cougar moment (I was 36, he was 21) I was single. Not in any type of relationship. It happened on a cruise. But truth be told, had it not involved sex but rather just flirting, I would have been satisfied with that. For me it was about having someone young and attractive find me young and attractive.
> 
> Single or not.... I was broken inside.
> 
> ...


Might not be broken. By some people's way of life it's ok as an option .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> Now...what do you want?


She said it just happen that he was 22 years old.. Said they had a lot in common.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

OM was 5 years younger than my stbxw.....


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

Ricky2424 said:


> She said it just happen that he was 22 years old.. Said they had a lot in common.


It doesn't matter if he was 22 years old or 77 years old. She cheated. She betrayed you. She's broken no matter how you look at it. 

So back to thunderstruck's question --- What do *YOU* want?


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

be cautious ricky, she wanted validation for men still wanting her, the 22 yr old gave it to her she may not stop with him


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

You should know 'why' by now. 

She likes to be with more than one man! 

Why didn't you throw her out when she cheated over a year ago?

Get rid of her and find a woman that wants to be with just you.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

No. She was attracted by what they did not have in common. It is no mystery....which is more attractive to you? 22 or 46? But that honestly is the least of your problems. Good luck sir.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

IrishGirlVA said:


> It doesn't matter if he was 22 years old or 77 years old. She cheated. She betrayed you. She's broken no matter how you look at it.
> 
> So back to thunderstruck's question --- What do *YOU* want?


Yes your right Irish..thanks.. I missed read Thunder's question,I dont know what i am going to do yet about finding the reasons..She promise she never will do it again so have to take her word for it.


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## Ricky2424 (Jul 23, 2012)

Thanks all for your replies...


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Ricky2424 said:


> She said it just happen that he was 22 years old.. Said they had a lot in common.


Baloney. Look, I'm not quite in my 40's yet, but close. I'm single now, no kids, have a great career, get to travel, see lots of festivals and shows, and go out pretty much whenever I want. My life is a lot more carefree than most women my age, I'd imagine. Let me tell you what I have in common with 22 year olds. 

Jack.

Bupkiss.

Nada.

Zip.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Ricky2424 said:


> She promise she never will do it again so have to take her word for it.


Okay.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Ricky2424 said:


> .She promise she never will do it again so have to take her word for it.


Didn't she tell you that the last time she cheated? 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/51879-wife-having-affair-co-worker.html

Why would you believe it now? 

Will you take that answer the next time she does it too?

Geesh Ricky, don't you have any sense of self worth? 

Are you just her doormat? 

Stand up for yourself man!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ricky2424 said:


> thanks for your reply Treyvion.. I was hoping it be other reasons then sex.


It could be for other reasons than sex. 

Ultimately, it happened because she chose it to happen. It was a choice. 

Maybe she felt adored, validated, has low self-esteem, maybe she connected with him emotionally in a way she hadn't with you in awhile, maybe she just wanted to have an older woman/younger male fantasy, maybe she is nuts.

Many variables here.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

A 22yr old is naive and impressionable. I think they are easier to manipulate than a more experienced the same age person. I don't think it validates the person. It's too easy. I don't think the reason such a young person would have an affair with a married person so much older might not be about sex appeal but money, nice dinners, learn about sex. That's not flattering or validating to me. 

I agree with other posters, your wife wanted validation and maybe the experience of a nice young body and youthful stamina. Some of the same reasons older men persue 20 something's.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ricky2424 said:


> Yes your right Irish..thanks.. I missed read Thunder's question,I dont know what i am going to do yet about finding the reasons..She promise she never will do it again so have to take her word for it.


Really? She promised?

Didnt she already promise to be faithful when you got married? So why do you think this promise will be kept any better than the last time?

You do not have to accept and trust her, you should be addressing the why, how, when, where etc and putting in place checks that she isn't cheating more.

1. Std test for her
2. Polygraph test
3. Full timeline of affair, including how they met, how they communicated, what friends knew, where they did it, what they did.
4. All friends that knew and did nothing are gone forever
5. She's no longer going to go where she met him, or places like it.
6. Transparency - her phone, texts, emails are wide open for you to read any and everytime you want without question.
7. Anything sex that she did for him, but denies you is on the table for you now too.

All for a starters

See, there are things you can do,


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## steve71 (Feb 5, 2010)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hi,
> What would be reasons a 46 year old female have an affair with a 22 year man ? I ask because my wife done that.
> thanks,
> Ricky


To be spared the complicated demands of a fully grown-up relationship between equals?


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

she wont do it again..............i have some AWESOME ocean front property for sale here in idaho ricky! real cheap


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

Ricky2424 said:


> Hi,
> What would be reasons a 46 year old female have an affair with a 22 year man ? I ask because my wife done that.
> thanks,
> Ricky


because she's a slvt?? i.e. she has no character. she's not a very good person. maybe the 22 yr old was simply her best available option..... any of this ring true????


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Might not be broken. By some people's way of life it's ok as an option .


Then that makes it an even more broken way of thinking , and a broken way of life.


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## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

I fully disagree with shaggy. Why would you like to know all details? It only makes you suffer. Just promising that she won't do it again will not help, because the root of the problem is still there and there may be a lot of reasons why she did that, maybe your behaviour was a part of it. See should not try to search outside (like happiness) what she can only find inside, and that does not mean your marriage, she must search inside herself.


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