# My Child Is Driving Us To Divorce



## elrose06 (Apr 17, 2010)

Please help, my husband and I are on the verge of divorcing. My 7 year old from a previous relationship who has never known her own father continues to ignore my husband even after we have been together for 5 years. Although I and our 2 year old adore him, he does not feel comfortable in our home. He says he doesn't want to be where he's not wanted and would rather be alone. This has been an ongoing issue and we have no ideas what to do to get through to my 7 year old since discussions do not seem to matter. We just told her that we are planning to proceed with the divorce and although I was crying, she showed no emotion. What is it? She says she cares and he's never hurt her but there's no real response.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

This doesn't even make sense. Two adults are divorcing because a 7 year old is being naughty? Come on! It is ridiculous to allow a 7 year old to rule the household like this, and if he's willing to leave the rest of a good family over this, I'd have to say I suspect something else is going on. 

So the 7 yo "ignores him"? Why in the WORLD is this justification to divorce. I don't buy it.


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## marcy* (Feb 27, 2010)

Your daughter was a baby when he came in your life, and she knows only him as her father. She didn't show any emotion maybe because she doesn't understand what a divorce is. My son is 6 and he doesn't know what the word ''divorce'' means.
Your husband had 5 years to establish a good relationship with your daughter, but he failed. She adores him. If he still doesn't feel comfortable with your daughter, then there is something wrong with him. Don't blame your daughter. It looks like he is finding a reason to get out.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

elrose06 said:


> Please help, my husband and I are on the verge of divorcing. My 7 year old from a previous relationship who has never known her own father continues to ignore my husband even after we have been together for 5 years. Although I and our 2 year old adore him, he does not feel comfortable in our home. He says he doesn't want to be where he's not wanted and would rather be alone. This has been an ongoing issue and we have no ideas what to do to get through to my 7 year old since discussions do not seem to matter. We just told her that we are planning to proceed with the divorce and although I was crying, she showed no emotion. What is it? She says she cares and he's never hurt her but there's no real response.


ok so your husband wants divorce only because your 7 yr old ignores him ? WTF ? how old your husband & you are ? 

come on , your 7 yr old didn't show any emotion because she doesn't understand what exactly a divorce is like . Ask your husband to grow up it is not really a big issue , you need counselling it might help .


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I would strongly suggest family therapy. The fact that you presented this to your daughter with expectations of how she should react, and the fact that you place the blame for the divorce on her are very odd. It's like you are treating her as an adult and have no understanding of what a 7 year old is supposed to be like. Furthermore, no one other is responsible for the break down of a marriage than the two married people themselves. 

If you have told your child that her behavior is contributing to the divorce, you have made a mistake. This actually has nothing to do with her. Your husband is the one whose behavior needs to be questioned--why hasn't he insisted on family counseling if his efforts to connect with her haven't worked? And what does he mean, she ignores him? She won't behave for him? She acts like he is not there, ever? In either case, he is the adult and HE is responsible for figuring out how to connect--with help, if necessary.

Why haven't y'all done family therapy?


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## christmaslady (Dec 21, 2009)

seek counselling. This does not make sense to divorce over the fact that a seven year old is ignoring you husband. If there are other issues in the marriage or with your child that needs to be discussed and worked out. Regardless it is not grounds for divorce..if you play into that now, when does it stop? when are you allowed to be happy with a man that is not her father?


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

You all are the adults and she's the kid. If she was a 2-year-old when you got married and still feels no relationship with him then somebody dropped the ball. Do you REALLY think a toddler is so aware that she was deprived of a biological father that she'll go out of her way to ignore the "new dad" for 5 years? She didn't even know where babies came from at that age and might not now. Kids are smart but they're not THAT smart. Come on now...


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## InAPickle (Jun 4, 2010)

Elrose, how are things going?


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