# How would you react to this school discipline issue?



## SecondTime'Round

This is not at all related to divorce or marriage, although one of the boys (mine) is from a divorced family and the other one (his BFF) is not. But, has nothing to do with the story so skip it if you don't want to weigh in.

My son is in 7th grade. He is quite tall and weighs about 115 and his BFF is small and weighs under 100. Maybe 90-95.

Last Friday was their first Friday at school (their school starts late). So, 3rd day of school and 3rd day for a new teacher, their theater teacher. (She is also their science teacher). They go to a very small private school. 

For some reason I don't quite get, theater class was outdoors. There were plastic PVC chairs. My son and his BFF were fooling around at some point, both sat in the same chair, were told to get out of it, and in doing so, the chair broke. There may have been more to the fooling around than this, but my son is not at all good at telling a story (and is getting worse which is a whole 'nother concern!). They definitely were not fighting though. 

My son described it as a "50 cent lawn chair," but I did not see it.

My son told me about this incident as soon as I picked him up, telling me he may get a detention for it. 

About two hours later, an email from the teacher came through to my son's parents (my ex and me), his BFFs parents, and copying the principal. The email said the boys were not disrespectful to her in any way, but had broken the chair, and we should expect a call and maybe conference from the principal.

This morning, an email from the principal. (Side note: I saw ushering at church yesterday, but chose to not approach him  ). He said he had heard about the issue and talked to the boys about it in his office, understood the boys were not purposefully trying to break the chair, and they came to an agreement that the boys will reimburse the school for the $18 chair and they will split it, and each boy is to personally deliver the money to the principal. 

Since that email I found out that toward the end of the theater class, the teacher left the classroom with the two boys and walked them down the hall to immediately try to find the principal to discuss this, but she was unsuccessful. I guess she was then advised to send an email.

I'm curious to your reactions as to how this was handled. The mom of the BFF (who called me tonight after attending Back to School Night) and I had totally different reactions and I'm not asking who is "right," but I am questioning myself and my judgment.


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## Middle of Everything

I see nothing wrong with the way it was handled.


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## Newlywed718

I too see nothing wrong with how the situation was handled.


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## kokonatsu

That seems like pretty logical consequences if you ask me. 

Fooling around or not, they have to respect others' belongings. 

I would not be upset with these disciplinary actions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl

I agree, they handled it well.

What's your opinion?


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## EleGirl

Oh, and were this my kid, since I was buying the chair, I'd ask to take possession of it. I'd want to see if it was really a $2 chair, or a chair that was so worn out that it was one kid-behind away from falling apart.


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## phillybeffandswiss

> Fooling around or not, they have to respect others' belongings.


Yes and they also have to respect others. She told them to stop and they did not.
They broke school property and the kids are required to reimburse the school. Everything sounds correct to me. Since you didn't say, what are you questioning?


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## SecondTime'Round

Thanks to those who weighed in.

My reaction yesterday was to kinda roll my eyes because I felt it was an overreaction to a chair that would have broken anyway. It sounds like it was an old chair and if a 200 pound person had sat in it (which is how, by the way, the teacher was described to me), it would have broken regardless. BUT I gave her credit for being a new teacher trying to assert her authority and position. I immediately responded to the email kindly saying I'd heard about it from my son, and to let us know if what we needed to do to replace the chair, etc. This was Friday night and my son and I talked about it a few times over the weekend and I told him that no matter what, he needed to be respectful. After the email came this morning (which included a thank you to the parents for being so quick in response and kind about it), I said I'd send a check in tomorrow, and I got a thank you back from the principal.

However. 

My friend (BFFs mom) took it so differently. She called me on her way home from Back to School Night (that I did not attend). Now, I was not privy to the information (b/c my son left it out) that they were escorted out of the classroom by this teacher to go search the halls for the principal (leaving the rest of the class alone), as if she could not handle the issue on her own when they were NOT a threat and just two hyper boys.....THIS I have an issue with. But, she takes issue with all of it, the overreaction, being made to pay for a chair that she also found out tonight was obtained from some kind of grant (they are wealthy and can afford the nine bucks). I love this woman and adore her son....I'd adopt him if he was up for adoption lol. But I think she's mostly overreacting to what she's projecting what MIGHT happen with this teacher this year.....everu time these boys act like boys are they going to be hauled to the principal's office? Maybe I'm desensitized to it since that was our life when he was in K-3 grades and I got used to it and so did he....I don't know. I just thought she was being a bit oversensitive to it. And maybe catastrophizing it, which I can totally relate to because I do that in many areas of my life, just not with school stuff I guess.

*But, I am having a lot of issues with questioning my judgment about everything after all I've allowed in my life and all I've been through. So I was wondering if this was another one of those things....was I completely letting us get walked on or treated unfairly? It's kindof sick that I really cannot tell with something so small.*


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## SecondTime'Round

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Yes and they also have to respect others. She told them to stop and they did not.
> They broke school property and the kids are required to reimburse the school. Everything sounds correct to me. Since you didn't say, what are you questioning?


Actually they did stop when she told them to, but the chair broke as they both exited it as I understand it. I think, from what both boys have said, it was a very old plastic chair to begin with so it was easily broken. It was not an excessive amount of weight in it. BUT, they were fooling around to both sit in it at the same time when I assume they were told to find their own chairs. Teacher even said they were not disrespectful when she told them to stop doing what they were doing. 

My whole point is that I think the teacher overreacted by taking the matter to the principal/as far as she did, but not to the extent of being as upset about it as my friend. I was just like "eh...yeah, she overreacted, but she's a new teacher, they broke the chair and I can afford nine bucks..." Told my son to just calm down in her class and behave and that was the end of it. She won't let it go.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Gothcha.

I'm older so, I can't grasp the problem with a teacher leaving a classroom. Is it a public or private school? I am asking because I want to give you a decent perspective from my experiences.


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## SecondTime'Round

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Gothcha.
> 
> I'm older so, I can't grasp the problem with a teacher leaving a classroom. Is it a public or private school? I am asking because I want to give you a decent perspective from my experiences.


Very small private school. But, I think if were another parent I'd be like, "seroiusly? You tried to find the principal because two boys sat in a chair at the same time and it broke and left all the other kids alone in the class??" (Not that I think something is going to happen to them....it's just an overreaction). 

Still, the issue is whether I was underreacting/not standing up for my child or if my friend is overreacting. 

I'm mostly asking because my personal judgment of situations is something I'm really struggling with in my life/in counseling so I was wondering if I underreacted here and should have "stood up" more for my son or something, like my friend seems to be doing.


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## SunnyT

Your friend is over-reacting. You handled it well, the school handled it well, no one was disrespected, etc.....

Call it done and take it as a positive step where you begin to trust yourself.


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## SecondTime'Round

SunnyT said:


> Your friend is over-reacting. You handled it well, the school handled it well, no one was disrespected, etc.....
> 
> *Call it done and take it as a positive step where you begin to trust yourself.*


Thank you. I have a long ways to go and tonight I realized I can't grasp the concept of me having better judgment than someone who is not a divorced mom.


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## phillybeffandswiss

SecondTime'Round said:


> Very small private school. But, I think if were another parent I'd be like, "seroiusly? You tried to find the principal because two boys sat in a chair at the same time and it broke and left all the other kids alone in the class??" (Not that I think something is going to happen to them....it's just an overreaction).
> 
> Still, the issue is whether I was underreacting/not standing up for my child or if my friend is overreacting.
> 
> I'm mostly asking because my personal judgment of situations is something I'm really struggling with in my life/in counseling so I was wondering if I underreacted here and should have "stood up" more for my son or something, like my friend seems to be doing.


Did the teacher overreact? Maybe. We have no clue what rules she has to follow. Destruction or defacing of property, in some schools, are immediate principal problems.

I didn't break anything, but it was horseplay when we tried to sit in the same seat. So, whatever we want to say as parents, they were misbehaving in class. Even if it wasn't disrespectful, he broke school property. Bffs mom sounds like she is overreacting, way more than the teacher. IMO, this is not a situation to stand up for your child.



Good night, you said the type of school in your OP. Need to stop watching Football and posting. 

Sorry.


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## meson

It's standard procedure to escalate to the principal/assistant principal for things like this. It teaches kids about consequences for actions and often helps keep the environment in control. It is a whole lot better for some of the other students to have things like this delt with rather than ignored while kids disrupt the class. One of my boys could handle the distractions his teacher just ignored habitually and his grades suffered as a result of the lack of control in the class. 

You should consider yourself lucky that the teacher cares enough to do something. Your friend is over reacting. Some people just can't take any form of statement that their kid can make wrong decisions or act up at times. They are kids it happens like you said you are used to it before. Your judgement is fine.


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## ConanHub

The teacher didn't do too bad.

I wouldn't have left the class but she will hopefully learn.

It sounds like an excellent school with good boundaries.

You break it you buy it.

You are a good woman. Not perfect but good.

It is ok to make mistakes in judgment from time to time and you just make changes when you realize a better way than you were previously practicing.

Trust that you aren't incapable and a woman who can learn.

I'm learning all the time! LOL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl

Were I you, if this comes up again between you and the other mom, I'd just tell her that it's $9. You son learned that horsing around in class is not a good idea. $9 for an important lesson is cheap. So you are just going to let it slide.

In the school where my children went to middle school, kids who did that would have been charged with destroying property, arrested and had criminal charges brought against them. I kid you not. I watched the school do horrible things to kids... criminalizing everything.

Now that's over reacting.


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## SecondTime'Round

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and validation. You guys all had really great things to say from different perspectives. Thank you!


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## Satya

I went to a small private, all girls HS and you can be sure that any shenanigans required immediate reporting to the principal's office, which was pretty equidistant to most of the main classrooms. Usually the teacher would pause class to escort the guilty.

I'd marvel that the chair was worth that much, though!


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## SecondTime'Round

Satya said:


> I went to a small private, all girls HS and you can be sure that any shenanigans required immediate reporting to the principal's office, which was pretty equidistant to most of the main classrooms. Usually the teacher would pause class to escort the guilty.
> 
> I'd marvel that the chair was worth that much, though!


With the obvious depreciation it seemed to possess to break under the weight of 200 pounds, I agree. However, I'm giving the principal the benefit of the doubt that he made a phone call to Walmart or looked up online how much it costs to replace a plastic patio chair. (After I typed that sentence, I looked it up online and it's a tad over the prices I found, but perhaps taking tax and gas money into account it's fair....regardless, I'm not making an issue out of a couple bucks.)


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## arbitrator

*It was handled extremely well, IMHO! But since I'm one of the resident "old farts" around these parts, all that I can really add to this that if this had occurred to us in our day, say back in the 50's or 60's, not only would we have being paying for a new chair, but we also would be subjected to a meeting with the "board of education" over in some secluded quarters from the principal who would light up our backsides and then would assign us "bleacher duty," for a couple of days, as we'd be running those things repeatedly until our legs fell off! Then when we got home, Dad would enter the fray and give us "a big hand" of his very own for what we had done! Punishment like this really makes a perpetrator think twice before engaging in such foolishness ever again!

It isn't some damned old $18 dollar chair that is at issue here, it's the boisterous misbehavior of two adolescents that led to their seemingly unapologetic destruction of the property of others!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round

arbitrator said:


> *It was handled extremely well, IMHO! But since I'm one of the resident "old farts" around these parts, all that I can really add to this that if this had occurred to us in our day, say back in the 50's or 60's, not only would we have being paying for a new chair, but we also be subjected to a meeting with the "board of education" in some secluded quarters from the principal who would light up our best kaiser and then would assign us "bleacher duty," as we'd be running those things repeatedly until our legs fell off! Then when we got home, Dad would enter the fray and give us "a big hand" for what we had done! Punishment like this really makes a perpetrator think twice before engaging in foolishness like this ever again!
> 
> It isn't some damned old $18 dollar chair that is at issue here, it's the boisterous misbehavior of two adolescents here that led to their unapologetic destruction of the property of others!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Always love the way you word things, arb . Have to disagree about them being unapologetic, however. These were the exact words from the teacher:

While we were outside for class, the students were asked to take a seat. _____ picked a seat and sat down. Another student then decided to also sit in that same seat. I then told the boys by motioning to the other seats to each take their own seat. In the process of the other student getting up, the boys broke the chair that they were sitting on. I questioned ______ about the event afterward, and he was very truthful, and displayed a great attitude. He told me that he was part of the problem, since he did not ask the other boy to move and let him sit there. Unfortunately, the chair cannot be fixed. Dr. ______ will be meeting with the boys on Monday to further discuss this issue with them. 

I am sorry that this happened and I felt that _______ genuinely did not mean to break that chair, and he was not being disrespectful, but unfortunately, the broken chair now will need a further resolution with Dr. ______ on Monday.


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## arbitrator

*I said that because back in high school, two of our star football players were intentionally horsing around on a fixed wooden picnic table and tore the damned thing up! One of them was very unapologetic for his actions! After a hasty "Come to Jesus" meeting with our head coach, they both got their asses busted and had letters sent home requesting payment for the table! One of the kids was poorer than dirt, the other kid was the son of a well-to-do orthopedic surgeon. Both ran bleachers after football practice for a week!

It ended up that the surgeon paid for the table and had both boys do work for him out at his ranch/farm offseason like pulling weeds, thistles and whatnot, until the entire sum was paid off!

I might also add that they were both model gentlemen ever since! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar

SecondTime'Round said:


> Very small private school. But, I think if were another parent I'd be like, "seroiusly? You tried to find the principal because two boys sat in a chair at the same time and it broke and left all the other kids alone in the class??" (Not that I think something is going to happen to them....it's just an overreaction).
> 
> Still, the issue is whether I was underreacting/not standing up for my child or if my friend is overreacting.
> 
> I'm mostly asking because my personal judgment of situations is something I'm really struggling with in my life/in counseling so I was wondering if *I underreacted here and should have "stood up" more for my son or something, like my friend seems to be doing*.


Too many parents stand up for their kids in situations where they should not. They are doing a huge disservice to their kids by doing so, even in situations where the kid may have been treated unfairly. Life is not always fair, people are different, some teachers are more strict than others, and kids need to learn these lessons, and that mommy and daddy won't and can't always come running to help.


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## samyeagar

As arb eluded to, it's not about the chair, and how old it was, and it was going to break anyway, or even the fact that it was an accident, with ZERO malicious intent. It is about the fact that the boys' actions led directly to the destruction of the chair. Even accidents have consequences, and just because it was old, and they didn't do it on purpose does not give them a get out of jail free card and absolve them of repercussions.

And even the talk of depreciation in cost because it was old seems to be trying to skirt responsibility, to place blame elsewhere....


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## EnjoliWoman

Seems fair to me. Seems like the other parent is in a bit of a rush to say her poor baby was mistreated/misjudged.

If two boys, totaling over 200 pounds both PLOPPED down in the same chair, that would mean even more force placed onto the chair. Likely the momentum PLUS the weight of 2 boys was closer to 250 pounds and likely not straight down on it, either (I'm imagining musical chairs-type silly race of the chair?) So under that treatment a chair can be expected to bend/break vs. calmly simply sitting down.

Sounds like it was no huge deal to the principal and merely reimbursing the school sounds fair and appropriate. It can be difficult for a young female teacher to command respect and setting an example is understandable. Seems like she involved the principal due to broken school property, whereas has they only been horsing around with no damage she might have handled it herself. Being new, she might have felt broken property should be reported.


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## SecondTime'Round

samyeagar said:


> As arb eluded to, it's not about the chair, and how old it was, and it was going to break anyway, or even the fact that it was an accident, with ZERO malicious intent. It is about the fact that the boys' actions led directly to the destruction of the chair. Even accidents have consequences, and just because it was old, and they didn't do it on purpose does not give them a get out of jail free card and absolve them of repercussions.
> 
> And even the talk of depreciation in cost because it was old seems to be trying to skirt responsibility, to place blame elsewhere....


Not trying to place blame elsewhere at all, but it does bring up a question in my mind about the safety and stability of these chairs they got from some kind of "grant." 

You're totally right that even accidents have consequences. Just yesterday while I was waiting for my kids in the pick-up line another car backed into me. Accident, but for that driver, consequences!  (That reminds me that I still have not heard from his insurance company and we did not call the police....)


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## NobodySpecial

samyeagar said:


> As arb eluded to, it's not about the chair, and how old it was, and it was going to break anyway, or even the fact that it was an accident, with ZERO malicious intent. It is about the fact that the boys' actions led directly to the destruction of the chair. Even accidents have consequences, and just because it was old, and they didn't do it on purpose does not give them a get out of jail free card and absolve them of repercussions.
> 
> And even the talk of depreciation in cost because it was old seems to be trying to skirt responsibility, to place blame elsewhere....


And that their PREaction of horsing around was not correct for a class.


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## Fozzy

I kept waiting for the part in the story where someone got expelled or a lawyer was contacted. I actually think everything was handled as close to ideally as one could expect. My kids break and lose stuff pretty frequently, so shelling out a few bucks for breakage is old hat for me.


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## NotEasy

OP, your judgement seems balanced. Relax and trust yourself. Damage must be paid for. A cheap price for an important lesson, hopefully your son has learnt.

The other mum is over-reacting.

The teacher and school reacted near perfectly. One detail not mentioned, hopefully a class president or prefect was put in charge while the teacher was away.


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## brooklynAnn

NotEasy said:


> OP, your judgement seems balanced. Relax and trust yourself. Damage must be paid for. A cheap price for an important lesson, hopefully your son has learnt.
> 
> The other mum is over-reacting.
> 
> The teacher and school reacted near perfectly. One detail not mentioned, hopefully a class president or prefect was put in charge while the teacher was away.



The school took appropriate action. Your initial reaction was right on cue. Trust yourself. As parents none of us are prefect. Just because you're a d mum, does not make your decision any less reliable than the other non d mum. She was over reacting. 

My daughter once told me, you don't need to be perfect, just good enough. That's has been my mantra. I am good enough. 

You go girl and call the insurance company and file the claim. Don't listen to the guys who say not to.


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## turnera

SecondTime'Round said:


> Thanks to those who weighed in.
> 
> *My reaction yesterday was to kinda roll my eyes because I felt it was an overreaction* to a chair that would have broken anyway. It sounds like it was an old chair and if a 200 pound person had sat in it (which is how, by the way, the teacher was described to me), it would have broken regardless. BUT I gave her credit for being a new teacher trying to assert her authority and position.


So...you have a habit of making life easy for your son so he doesn't have to think ahead about consequences? That's what this sounds like. The proper thing to do is to sit your son down, without electronics going on of any sort, look him in the eyes, and say 'so, were you paying attention to what you were doing and being respectful of the teacher, or were you more concerned about having fun?'

And then you should have said (I haven't read the rest yet) "This is how life works. We all run into responsibilities and it's how we approach them that determines who we really are. I know you're a good person and I know you'll fulfill your responsibility like the good-hearted person that you are. Now, what are your ideas for how you're going to work off the $9 to cover your half of the cost?"

And guess what? Your son was watching you to see your reaction. Even if he didn't see it (the eye roll), he SENSED it. Which helped teach him to 'weigh' responsibilities on whether or not YOU feel it's earned or due or not. That's not how life works.


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## SecondTime'Round

turnera said:


> And guess what? Your son was watching you to see your reaction. Even if he didn't see it (the eye roll), he SENSED it. Which helped teach him to 'weigh' responsibilities on whether or not YOU feel it's earned or due or not. That's not how life works.


Excellent point! Lesson learned .


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## turnera

The most important thing I ever heard was a guest speaker at my daughter's elementary school PTA meeting. He said he'd been there all day, watching kids and adults come and go. He'd watched parents show up with forgotten lunches, sweaters, and homework. He said you all have a responsibility to your kids: to teach them how to be productive, happy adults who know how to navigate life without butting heads against it.

He said if your kids forgets his lunch in elementary school, what happens? He gets a PB&J. He doesn't go hungry. But he DOES remember the next day not to forget his lunch so he doesn't have to go through the hassle (or embarrassment) of getting a school PB&J. But what if you rush up to school to give him the lunch he forgot? He never learns to remember his own responsibilities - mom will always make sure I get it. So when he reaches high school, or college, or work, it won't occur to him to remember his own responsibilities.

So what if he makes a 0 on a homework in 3rd grade? Is it gonna keep him from getting into college? No. But if he doesn't learn the embarrassment of getting a 0 in third grade - cos mom or dad will show up with the homework - you can bet he'll be getting 0's in high school, when it DOES matter what he gets a 0 in.

So basically, the earlier you teach your kid to own his own responsibilities, the happier of a life in general he'll have.


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## SecondTime'Round

turnera said:


> The most important thing I ever heard was a guest speaker at my daughter's elementary school PTA meeting. He said he'd been there all day, watching kids and adults come and go. He'd watched parents show up with forgotten lunches, sweaters, and homework. He said you all have a responsibility to your kids: to teach them how to be productive, happy adults who know how to navigate life without butting heads against it.
> 
> He said if your kids forgets his lunch in elementary school, what happens? He gets a PB&J. He doesn't go hungry. But he DOES remember the next day not to forget his lunch so he doesn't have to go through the hassle (or embarrassment) of getting a school PB&J. But what if you rush up to school to give him the lunch he forgot? He never learns to remember his own responsibilities - mom will always make sure I get it. So when he reaches high school, or college, or work, it won't occur to him to remember his own responsibilities.
> 
> So what if he makes a 0 on a homework in 3rd grade? Is it gonna keep him from getting into college? No. But if he doesn't learn the embarrassment of getting a 0 in third grade - cos mom or dad will show up with the homework - you can bet he'll be getting 0's in high school, when it DOES matter what he gets a 0 in.
> 
> So basically, the earlier you teach your kid to own his own responsibilities, the happier of a life in general he'll have.


Generally a very good lesson that I'd abide by. However, in the case of a divorced family it can be so difficult to remember stuff going back and forth to the two houses, let alone taking stuff to school. I'd never rescue my kids with delivering lunch or a basic homework assignment, but I have been known to deliver major projects left in the back seat. Especially for my daughter who has ADD.


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## JohnA

Hello STR,

I think the Boys were playing that game were one chair was removed at a time. It reminded me of the old Texan joke about the English lord who bought a cattle ranch in Texas and moved there. One day he decides to see if his employees would like to learn how to play soccer. To keep it simple he explain that the goal was to kick a ball though a net. He warned them it was a very rough sport since you were only allowed to kick the ball, a lot of times guys missed the ball and inadvertently kicked and the other player and that was not a foul. He asked if he should send to England to get a ball. The hands considered and finally one said "sure but one question, why do we have to wait for the ball"???? 

Yes, 7th grade boys need to be civilized. The true value of the chair really not important. Perhaps in addition you could require your son to earn the money doing litter clean up at a park, but that is it. If it is not a pattern and does not escalates beyond a chair or broken glass while horsing around in the kitchen don't go any further. Because of some of the stories I've read and only because of that I would treat your friends comments as a very minor concern. 
would treat your friends comments as a very very minor concern.


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## Bobby5000

Overreaction????? I could see some crazy teacher attributing the worse and a kid getting detention or suspension. They were mild and handled this sensibly. If anything they were on the mild side.


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## SimplyAmorous

samyeagar said:


> As arb eluded to,* it's not about the chair, and how old it was, and it was going to break anyway, or even the fact that it was an accident, with ZERO malicious intent. It is about the fact that the boys' actions led directly to the destruction of the chair. Even accidents have consequences, and just because it was old, and they didn't do it on purpose does not give them a get out of jail free card and absolve them of repercussions.*
> 
> And even the talk of depreciation in cost because it was old seems to be trying to skirt responsibility, to place blame elsewhere....


On the same note but a bigger scale... what you said here brings back memories...when we had the neighbors from hell, drunken party one night.. riding quads , then one of them wrecked into my older chevette -in my driveway ...gashing in the door.. but "Oh since my car was old".. and it was "just an accident" - they didn't want to pay.. 

Let me tell you.. I was pizzed.. first of all .. if I did that, I would never be that disrespectful to another person & their property --even if my cars were newer & Daddy bought me the house (those neighbors were spoiled rotten)...I would be very humble & feel it my immediate obligation to make that right...to fix the damage, whatever needed done.. 

I'm one of those parents , who upon hearing anything my child did in school from someone in authority.. I would be the 1st to grill my kid.. not make excuses for him/her.. 

I want my kids to be critical to their own behavior & why such consequences come upon them.. if we don't do this.. it will breed more narcissitic behaviors in our youth... feeling they are so special, they get a free pass...not being held accountable...too much of this.. and the entitlement mentality grows. 

Many times the broken object / chair, whatever it may be WILL BE FORGIVEN, understanding it was just an innocent accident.. where my beef is.. we should never allow our kids to EXPECT THAT from others but be willing to pay for the damages.. understanding their role in it...


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## Malpheous

If you were at my house and sat in a chair and it broke, I'd be embarrassed and apologize profusely. If you were playing around with your best friend and both in the chair and broke it, I'd be bothered and expect some sort of reimbursement. Regardless the original condition of the chair.


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## jb02157

Seems like the normal lame way that schools react to things. Anything out of the ordinary is always taken as disrespect to the teacher which is subsequently blown out of proportion by the school/principal. Seems to me that the principal has more important duties that being concerned over who broke a damn chair. True, horsing around should not be tolerated, but it since this a provate school that no doubt charges the parents way too much anyway, I'm not sure why there was so much insistance on the payment of the $9 per student. I would be more inclined to deal with the root cause, which was the horsing around and give both the boys a detention.


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## turnera

The payment was a form of education of children about owning responsibility for things that you do that affect others. Something sorely lacking in most schools, for sure.


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## EleGirl

turnera said:


> The payment was a form of education of children about owning responsibility for things that you do that affect others. Something sorely lacking in most schools, for sure.


I agree. If it were my son, he'd have to do extra chores to earn the $9 to pay the school back. I think it's a much better lesson than just detention.


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## SimplyAmorous

Malpheous said:


> If you were at my house and sat in a chair and it broke, I'd be embarrassed and apologize profusely. If you were playing around with your best friend and both in the chair and broke it, I'd be bothered and expect some sort of reimbursement. Regardless the original condition of the chair.


Here is another thing I've had to deal with.. our family has hosted many large bonfire parties, out door movies for teens.. we have (4) hammocks.. 2 are chair hammocks and (2) of those over sized cotton hammocks that cost over $100 .. I've lost count over the years how many times after a party , cleaning up the next day..... one of these would be be ripped, one was like sliced down the middle .. once the heavy dowel rod on the hammock was cracked in half.. (still waiting for husband to fix that).....these weren't old... it came to the point I put a weigh limit sign above them & stating only 1 person at a time .... but people are just so irresponsible.. they still don't seem to use common sense.. in no time.. 4 are on there goofing off.. 

Once I caught (who I call our 6th son) piling himself on there with another 2 people and I laid into him asking if he wanted to buy me a new one.. I never made anyone pay .. but I did start taking them down before our parties..... which is a shame really... 

I guess we can't expect much from kids.. they don't always think. and do horse around.. but if we don't teach them to be mindful of others property.. they'll just never learn...


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