# I nearly had sex with my sister's fiance (now ex fiance)



## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

Several weeks ago, I committed the unthinkable on my sister's now ex fiance's bachelor party. 

We ended up making-out for several moments, he started unbottoning my shirt (by then I was in just bra on the top) and slowly taking out my pants and we began having a petting session. There was no excuse because even on the state we were both in after several drinks, he didn't force himself on me. It was just then I quickly snapped out of it, though about my sister in that instance and explained to him this can't be happening. I left in total disgust and couldn't believe what had just happened. If I haven't stopped him it would have led to sex. 

Even though both us felt extremely guilty the next day and promised to each other to never say one word about it and pretend it never happened, I couldn't take it anymore. Against the advice of two of my friends in keeping my mouth shut, yesterday night I ended up confessing it all to her. She was understandably devastated, broke up her engagement, ended up crying and even slapped the heck out of me. She kept asking why a bunch of times. As of now she said she'll speak to me on her own pace and to get out of her life for now. 

Should I have really told her or was that a mistake on my part? Just that I had a gut feeling that if he cheated with me, what's to say he can't cheat on her with someone else and I couldn't handle the guilt anymore. Her ex fiance is upset with me as well too.

I'm at lost at what I can do to get my relationship back with my sister. I wonder how long she'll not speak to me. Does anyone knows what I can do to gain her trust back?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

You did the right thing in confessing. She had a right to know.

She'll need time to heal. Be patient and let her heal at her own pace.

Honestly, though... _why_ were you at your sister's fiancé's bachelor party?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Why were you at his party? That gives me questions about YOU, actually.

But you did the right thing - he obviously would have ended up cheating on her with any woman who offered, so you helped her avoid a life of misery. 

Respect her need for alone time. And consider writing her a letter of apology.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

You did the right thing by telling her. If he can be unfaithful so easily with you just because he's drunk, I'm pretty sure he would do it any good opportunity he got, and you sister was about to marry that.

As for when will your sister forgive you - I would give her time. What you did was really bad, but if you two were close before she will hopefully realize over time that while you did mess around with her fiance, you risked her wrath by telling her the truth and protecting her from marrying that guy. 

And you can use that time to think about what weakness in you let it happen at all, and make sure you are prepared and never get into that type of situation again. Too much alcohol? Flirting to get attention? Not emotionally prepared to say "back off" to a guy coming onto you unexpectedly? Competing with your sister on some level? If you can figure it out you can prepare yourself to not have a repeat.

Over time I think she will forgive you. You made a mistake but you're her sister and you came clean immediately. And, not that it excuses anything, but you were drunk...


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Nothing but time and space. 

Most men are going to be attracted to their wife's/ girlfriends sister. I would say they would be the number one girl that men imagine when they masturbate. Very few men will pass up the chance to have her in real life. You as the gatekeeper have to be stronger.

You need to stay away from this guy. Having gotten so close to heaven's gate, he will approach you to try to close the deal. Count on it.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

So what do the other members of the family think about what happened?

Is your sister the only one that is disowning you?

Will you seek the ex fiancee again? Why did you two end up almost screwing? Have you known him long? Did you hang out with him before? 

How old are you and how old is your sister and her X?


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> You did the right thing in confessing. She had a right to know.
> 
> She'll need time to heal. Be patient and let her heal at her own pace.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the reply. Since I knew two of my closed female friends were stopping by, a waitress and a stripper I decided to come along. Though, my friends and I weren't really planning to stay long.

Ages:
My sister and her ex fiance are both 25 years old with their college degrees (she has a Master in health care and he in engineering).
I'm a 21 year-old college junior majoring in marine biology.

Our parents are obviously very disappointed and they hope we patch things up eventually. The other few family members that know don't want to get involve at all.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

No, I will not seek him again. I want nothing to do with him. He's the one that has been writting me an angry message calling me a snitch and that I ruined it all. I've known him since the day my sister introduced me to him but nope I have never hang out with him alone until that happened. 

As to why I ended up almost screwing him, I know you all have heard of the ''I was drunk'' excuse probably indefinite by now but that's all I can come up with. Under normal circumstances, I would have never pictured myself being that intimate with him, much less hang out with him.


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## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

Sometimes we don't really know ourselves until we're put to the test. We all think we'll do the right thing, but then we find ourselves in that situation doing the wrong thing. I hope you learn something about yourself from this incident. The potential for this type of mistake exists within you. You'll need to be consciously vigilant to avoid situations like this or else you could easily slip into the same mistake again. It may not have just been the alcohol. The allure of forbidden attraction may have also been a factor. That can affect you when you're married, so be very careful.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

jsmart said:


> Nothing but time and space.
> 
> Most men are going to be attracted to their wife's/ girlfriends sister. I would say they would be the number one girl that men imagine when they masturbate. Very few men will pass up the chance to have her in real life. You as the gatekeeper have to be stronger.
> 
> You need to stay away from this guy. Having gotten so close to heaven's gate, he will approach you to try to close the deal. Count on it.


Oh really? What happened to all the love and meaningful sex with the wife. 

Stay on message? Didn't you get the script.

End of jack. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MelbaB said:


> Since I knew two of my closed female friends were stopping by, a waitress and a stripper I decided to come along.


What is a Marine Biologist major doing with a waitress and a stripper as close friends? What would those two be doing at your sister's fiancee's bachelor party? Are they close friends to the bride or groom to be as well?

And what's with all the grammatical errors too? Is English not your primary language?


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

jsmart said:


> Nothing but time and space.
> 
> Most men are going to be attracted to their wife's/ girlfriends sister. I would say they would be the number one girl that men imagine when they masturbate. Very few men will pass up the chance to have her in real life. You as the gatekeeper have to be stronger.


Ummmmm. No, not necessarily. No, I disagree. No, not necessarily. And "the gatekeeper" what is this? Ghostbusters? You must not cross the streams.



jsmart said:


> You need to stay away from this guy. Having gotten so close to heaven's gate, he will approach you to try to close the deal. Count on it.


"Heaven's gate" are you living in la la land or something?


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> What is a Marine Biologist major doing with a waitress and a stripper as close friends? What would those two be doing at your sister's fiancee's bachelor party? Are they close friends to the bride or groom to be as well?
> 
> And what's with all the grammatical errors too? Is English not your primary language?


It's not. 
We were 5 girls: my female friends whom I came with, a waitress someone hired for that day, a stripper and me.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

You definitely did the right thing. You love your sister enough to expose your wrong doing and save her from the pain of marriage to a deceptive man. 

He is angry with you? Go NC with the creep. He betrayed the woman he claims to love in the worse way possible having sex with her sister. He does not deserve her. 

Their relationship is unlikely to be over perminantly. He may succeed in working he way back in. He may tell her that you almost raped him. 

They may still marry and she may blame you more than she does him. She will not want you around. 

Your relationship with your sister has suffered a perminant blow. It will never be the same. In time, you may be able to rebuild but it will take time maybe years. 

You must understand that you did a monstrous thing. Instead of having your sisters back, you stuck a knife into it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MelbaB said:


> It's not.
> We were 5 girls: my female friends whom I came with, a waitress someone hired for that day, a stripper and me.


OK, this makes a little more sense. 

So English is indeed not your primary language then. 

I don't know how long it is going to take for your sister to forgive you. She may never trust you again though. Trust is given freely until it's broken. When it's broken it needs to be earned.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Catherine602 said:


> You definitely did the right thing. You love your sister enough to expose your wrong doing and save her from the pain of marriage to a deceptive man.
> 
> He is angry with you? Go NC with the creep. He betrayed the woman he claims to love in the worse way possible having sex with her sister. He does not deserve her.
> 
> ...


If you see this (the parts in bold above) happening, @MelbaB, do everything that you can to help your sister to realize that, if he'd cheat on her w/ you, _her own sister_, he'd cheat on her w/ pretty much anyone. A future w/ him would mean wondering what he's up to -- and who he's with -- pretty much every time work takes him out of town for a day or two.

And please understand that, though it may have sounded like it, I didn't intend that as an insult to you, but rather as commentary meant to underscore how blatantly stupid and arrogant this guy is.

Your actions showed poor judgement, but your confession and willingness to be held accountable to your sister for your transgression showed character. In time, your sister will realize that.

Oh, and also? Anyone that advised you to keep silent on this matter did little more than encourage cowardice, and you should give serious consideration w/ respect to whether or not they should be in your life. 

God forbid that you find out many years from now that one of them was making out (or worse) w/ YOUR fiancé/husband at his bachelor party... and never told you.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

God, this thread sounds slightly familiar. 

I'm not going to beat you up about what you've done. I'm going to agree with @turnera and say write your sister and letter and give her some space. This is probably going to be the hardest thing she's ever gone through because she has been betrayed not only by the person she loves, but by her own sister as well. The fact is - you and he both caused her suffering and so you both need to back off and let her come to you.

But a little hint for next time... going to your sister's fiance's bachelor party is never ok if your own sister isn't going to be present as well.

OP I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you and your sister are able to mend your relationship at some point. You've learned some hard lessons and my heart goes out to you.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

For the life of me I don't understand how things like this happen. I swear some people have no moral compass. 

Your sister may speak to you in time but how can she ever forget and forgive? How can she ever trust you again? Something like this isn't just a little opps, that five minutes of groping changed the coarse of peoples lives.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

I would like to ask the OP a question...

Are you in love with this man?

The fact that you even turned up at his bachelor party, stayed, got drunk and the events after the fact suggest to me that there is something deeper going on.

He definitely, definitely played an integral role in what transpired that night, and how he behaved afterward was appalling - but this isn't a situation where he came on to you and you turned him down. You went for it initially (and long enough for him to remove your top and almost your pants), and I am just wondering if this because you have some hidden feelings for him.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

camerashy said:


> I would like to ask the OP a question...
> 
> im.


Hmmm...do you know Arnold?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

As bad as your behavior was, you did your sister a favor, really. She isn't going to marry a man who lacks good boundaries, one who will easily cheat on her if the opportunity arises.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Are you in a relationship of your own?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I don't know, I smell something off about your post. Are u sending us on a wild goose chase?

Your close friend includes a stripper, was she working at the stag do?
Not wanting to be judgmental, but do you hook up with men on a whim, sounds like you have absolutely no boundaries. 

Your sister is much better off without the fiance, sounds like he is too immature to get married in the first place and would cheat on her in a flash - good riddance i say.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

aine said:


> Your sister is much better off without the fiance, sounds like he is too immature to get married in the first place and would cheat on her in a flash - good riddance i say.


Totally agree.

Your actions were certainly unethical, OP. I have no doubt you agree. But your transparency with your sister did her a huge favor. I think she will realize that in time, and thank you for it.

And I bet your parents are really grateful to you!


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Catherine602 said:


> Oh really? What happened to all the love and meaningful sex with the wife.
> 
> Stay on message? Didn't you get the script.
> 
> ...


I'm totally on board with sight's "script " but that doesn't change the fact that many husbands will be strongly attracted to their wife's sister.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

jsmart said:


> I'm totally on board with sight's "script " but that doesn't change the fact that many husbands will be strongly attracted to their wife's sister.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I beg to differ, that's your opinion, but many husbands to feel this way is unlikely.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> Are you in a relationship of your own?


No, I'm not.

To anyone that is still confused,
No, the stripper isn't my friend. I showed up with my 2 friends. The stripper and the waitress are girls hired by someone else on that day. I don't know them.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

WonkyNinja said:


> Ummmmm. No, not necessarily. No, I disagree. No, not necessarily. And "the gatekeeper" what is this? Ghostbusters? You must not cross the streams.
> 
> 
> 
> "Heaven's gate" are you living in la la land or something?


That was way out there wasn't it? Ever post something and then next day think, wtf ? 

after further thought I think op may have permanently damaged her relationship with her sister. What she did was vile. At least she womened up and came clean and saved her sister from marrying a wh in the making.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

That would be a relationship ender for me. It's quite possible she will never really have a relationship with you again. She may tolerate you at holiday's, but that's a lot different than a sister/sister relationship. It will never be normal again.

As for the "I was drunk" excuse, it's just not an excuse, it isn't like he landed on your naked body the second you were drunk. You know it started with small talk, more drinks, a little flirting, more drinks, he lead you outside or wherever, you knew what was going on the entire night and consciously made the decision to betray your sister, not once, but multiple times through the night.

You sound young so the gravity of this situation may not be resonating with you, but it's devastating and life altering for your poor sister.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

I agree it's going to take time for her to process this information. I'm right now writting her an apology message on her fb. 

According to my parents she wants nothing to do with her ex fiance and has returned the ring.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Melba, do you have any other sisters or brothers?


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> Melba, do you have any other sisters or brothers?


Unfortunately not. It's only the two of us.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

Another little detail I want to mention:

She immediately took her ex fiance off her fb and all her contact list while I'm still there but she's just not answering at the moment. I guess that means there is hope one day we can work this out. Hopefully.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MelbaB said:


> I agree it's going to take time for her to process this information. I'm right now writting her an apology message on her fb.
> 
> According to my parents she wants nothing to do with her ex fiance and has returned the ring.


As long as you're talking about a PM, that's probably OK. I probably wouldn't post anything on either your Timeline/Wall or hers... that might blow up in your face.

She's hurting right now, and I'd imagine that the last thing that she wants is for this thing to be made even more public than it already is.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Bibi1031 said:


> I beg to differ, that's your opinion, but many husbands to feel this way is unlikely.


Actually that is not so unreasonable to expect. A spouse will put their guard down because the sister/brother is "family" and therefore safe. Add alcohol and you have a mess.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> As long as you're talking about a PM, that's probably OK. I probably wouldn't post anything on either your Timeline/Wall or hers... that might blow up in your face.
> 
> She's hurting right now, and I'd imagine that the last thing that she wants is for this thing to be made even more public than it already is.


I wrote my apology on her private message. I did get a reply back right away stating though she won't take me off her contact list, she doesn't wish to speak now but will later on. 

Her reply ended with an:
_I hope you think about what you did every night before you go to sleep, you b****. It's unfortunate you're not a friend I can get rid of. I can't hate you._


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

MelbaB said:


> Unfortunately not. It's only the two of us.


That is a terrible shame. When your parents are gone, she and you would of been the only family your two could depend on.

You broke something huge and it may never be replaced 

She not taking you off of FB is probably because she doesn't want to hurt your parents and she still can't get over your betrayal. Blood is thicker than water so to speak. It will take her much longer to process how she will resolve this with you. She can't just throw you out. 

A partner is replaceable, an only sister isn't. Why did you go to that stupid party? Why did you get close to her fiancee? If you wanted to catch him in something, you probably would. Instead something in you compelled you to betray your sister.

You need professional help to sort out this dark spot in you. A sister's man is off limits!

Heck, a friend's partner is off limits!


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Have you done something similar before? Let me elaborate, have you flirted, kissed, been attracted, or too friendly, with one of your sister's boyfriends before?

As you said earlier, alcohol is not an excuse for this behavior. You had to be at least attracted to the ex fiancée in order to kiss him. I personally, and suspect other women, would not let a man we are not attracted to grope nor kiss us.

You should really delve into the reason you kissed the fiancée. Perhaps, it would help in mending your relationship


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

jsmart said:


> That was way out there wasn't it? Ever post something and then next day think, wtf ?
> 
> after further thought I think op may have permanently damaged her relationship with her sister. What she did was vile. At least she womened up and came clean and saved her sister from marrying a wh in the making.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, the "you as the gatekeeper" and "Having gotten so close to heaven's gate" is what caused me to think, WTF?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

MelbaB said:


> Her reply ended with an:
> _I hope you think about what you did every night before you go to sleep, you b****. It's unfortunate you're not a friend I can get rid of. I can't hate you._


As twisted as this sounds, assuming she stays away from this scumbag and finds a loyal partner, she will probably be thanking you someday for exposing him for what he is and giving her the opportunity to dodge a MASSIVE bullet but not marrying him.

Hopefully she will come to realize the ends justified the means. I despise what you did but commend you for your honesty and attempts to make it right. Consider it a painful life lesson.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I think I would just be there when she is ready to talk but don't push the issue. What you did was very wrong and she deserves some time away from you.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

blueinbr said:


> Actually that is not so unreasonable to expect. A spouse will put their guard down because the sister/brother is "family" and therefore safe. Add alcohol and you have a mess.


 We will agree to disagree on this one as it would most certainly derail this thread.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I've never bought the I'm drunk excuse
Ime the things people do when drunk are usually what they want to do, then they can use the drinking as an excuse and remain in denial. 

I'd suggest you think about this. Do you have a history of competing with your sister?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MelbaB said:


> I wrote my apology on her private message. I did get a reply back right away stating though she won't take me off her contact list, she doesn't wish to speak now but will later on.
> 
> Her reply ended with an:
> _I hope you think about what you did every night before you go to sleep, you b****. It's unfortunate you're not a friend I can get rid of. I can't hate you._


Try not to take her words personally. She is speaking out of emotion right now.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

jld said:


> Try not to take her words personally. She is speaking out of emotion right now.


I disagree, but putting my feet, hands...anything in my mouth to keep it shut.:surprise:


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Bibi1031 said:


> I disagree, but putting my feet, hands...anything in my mouth to keep it shut.:surprise:


Do you have sisters, bibi?

I have six. Sisters have conflicts, and this is surely very hurtful. But sisterly love, at least ime, is pretty strong.

Melba, you surely understand the gravity of what you participated in. But you gave her a gift in telling her. Someday she is going to tell you that.

Hang in there, never do it again (obviously), and love her through her pain. Someday you will surely both agree that a sister (especially an only one) is truly a gift.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

I just wanted to say in regards to the "she'll thank you one day" comments...

I completely disagree. Who is to say that any betrayal would have occurred if the OP had not been there. The fact is that the OP is one of the betrayers in this situation and it never was, will be, or should be her job to expose her sister's future H for the bastard he is. That was her sister's discovery to make on her own, and I don't think those sort of comments are helpful to the situation at all.

I feel for the OP, I do, but she is an equal party and has equal responsibility in creating this mess. 

I think it's more helpful to the OP for her to look at why the situation occurred and advise her in how to R her relationship with her sister. Because, the reality of it is, her relationship with her sister is unlikely to ever be the same again.

There are a few things in this story that just don't add up. I'm not talking about untruths, I'm talking about why the OP was there in the first place and how the betrayal occurred. My gut tells me that there is more to the story.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

jsmart said:


> Most men are going to be attracted to their wife's/ girlfriends sister. I would say they would be the number one girl that men imagine when they masturbate.


 @jsmart

Your post is officially added to my top 10 list of "most ridiculous forum posts I have ever read".

And I've met a lot of girlfriends sisters, and friends, and seen plenty of attractive women in public places, and viewed a lot of pornography.

If and when I fantasize whether it's solo or during sex, it has nothing whatsoever to do with their relationship to my girlfriend.

Where do you get this nonsense from? Did actually read it somewhere, and if so, please provide the source, and if not, then I'd imagine you have the hots for your partner's sister, am I right?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

jld said:


> Try not to take her words personally. She is speaking out of emotion right now.


Seriously? I disagree, you should take her words very personally. As I said earlier, you altered the coarse of her life, that's a hard thing to forgive. I couldn't do it, if you were my sister you would be out of my life.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

Cooper said:


> Seriously? I disagree, you should take her words very personally. As I said earlier, you altered the coarse of her life, that's a hard thing to forgive. I couldn't do it, if you were my sister you would be out of my life.


 @Cooper I agree. She's speaking "out of emotion" because she has been betrayed by two of the people she cares about most in the world. A person doesn't just wake up one day and get over that.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Cooper said:


> Seriously? I disagree, you should take her words very personally. As I said earlier, you altered the coarse of her life, that's a hard thing to forgive. I couldn't do it, if you were my sister you would be out of my life.


I think jld is a bit out of her element with this one because there is no man to absorb the blame for the betrayal of one sister by another.

The idea some here are conveying that the betrayed sister will one day thank her betraying sister for exposing the ex-fiancee as a cheat sounds an awful lot like blame shifting, minimizing, and rugsweeping. The fact is, the betrayal the sister engaged in was not the fiancee's fault. She betrayed her sister all on her own, and that responsibility is hers, and hers alone to bear.

In comparison to a marital affair with the context of the sister-sister relationship, blaming the ex-fiancee for the infidelity is no different than blaming the AP...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I have two sisters and haven't spoken to one in 11 years, and could frankly care less what happens to her.

There are reasons this can happen.

The other one and I are not currently speaking, mainly because she's in jail, but we have spoken off and on. 

On another note, if my hb wants to take his chances with one of my nasty, skvnky sisters he's free to knock himself out.

I just don't be waiting. .... the STD risk alone is reason enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

samyeagar said:


> The idea some here are conveying that the betrayed sister will one day thank her betraying sister for exposing the ex-fiancee as a cheat sounds an awful lot like blame shifting, minimizing, and rugsweeping. The fact is, the betrayal the sister engaged in was not the fiancee's fault. She betrayed her sister all on her own, and that responsibility is hers, and hers alone to bear.


That idea would only work if it was her plan to expose him as a cheater in the first place. If she warned her sister all the time that he was already cheating with anyone. And even then it should not have been her trying to have sex with her sister's fiance. 
And that's the core of the problem, she wanted to get something going with her sister's man. That she stopped it in the act is nice as is her confession but that does not eliminate the decision to even start that BS.

P.S.The whole party seems strange to me. Why is the sister there in the first place? 
Why wasn't there anyone sober (groom's best friend/best man/brother) to prevent something like that from happening? 
How does the groom end up with his bride's sister alone enough to basically have sex with her? 

Whole thing was just a big clusterf*** of bad decisions.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

rzmpf said:


> That idea would only work if it was her plan to expose him as a cheater in the first place. If she warned her sister all the time that he was already cheating with anyone. And even then it should not have been her trying to have sex with her sister's fiance.


She should have lied. She should have told her sister that she was seeing if he was legit, let him have his way with her, stopped before it got anywhere and then she would tell her. Cover your ass about this. There is no reason to tell the truth as her sister. You know you did wrong, and you shouldn't do it again. But you should have made it about her. Come clean later, on your deathbed or whatever, but you should have lied and left it at that. Then she is done with her fiance, and you are still sisters and you will feel so guilty, you'll end up doing anything for her which helps her out anyway.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

@hershel wow. A lot of people have an issue with blatantly lying but I guess you don't. Are there other areas in your life where you lie to people close to you?


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

jld said:


> Do you have sisters, bibi?
> 
> )


Yes, but* not *all sisters are the same. My personal experience is very different from yours.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

TheTruthHurts said:


> @hershel wow. A lot of people have an issue with blatantly lying but I guess you don't. Are there other areas in your life where you lie to people close to you?


Actually, no, I don't really lie at all. I guess my idea comes off a lot worse than it seems to me.

I look at it like this: The bond for family is different than the bond for a spouse. If my kid told me he loved Mommy more than me, should I feel angry or betrayed? No, because he is my kid and will always be my kid. The sister will always be your sister despite stupid **** that she does. There are times where living with the guilt is more important than relieving yourself of it to the detriment of your sister. It's actually more selfish in that scenario, if, and it's a big if, you NEVER do it again. You don't have the verbal commitment that a spouse has regarding infidelity. You have an emotional one, that you betrayed, but it does nothing, other than destroy your sister, if you come clean about it. 

What it comes down to is what is more of a punishment to you: Holding it in forever, feeling the pain and remorse or telling her, feeling better that you got it off your chest, but stole her sister from her forever.

I get where you are coming from, and to a certain extent, I even agree. But I think the detrimental effect to your sister and family is FAR greater than the "right" it result in by telling her.


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## sparrow55 (Apr 23, 2016)

jsmart said:


> Nothing but time and space.
> 
> Most men are going to be attracted to their wife's/ girlfriends sister. I would say they would be the number one girl that men imagine when they masturbate. Very few men will pass up the chance to have her in real life. You as the gatekeeper have to be stronger.
> 
> You need to stay away from this guy. Having gotten so close to heaven's gate, he will approach you to try to close the deal. Count on it.


Dude.. No. Speak for yourself


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Cooper said:


> Seriously? I disagree, you should take her words very personally. As I said earlier, you altered the coarse of her life, that's a hard thing to forgive. I couldn't do it, if you were my sister you would be out of my life.




Thank you Cooper for putting it so eloquently...add hats off to you emogy here.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Stuff like this always gets out one way or another and she would eventually find out. It's best she found out before the wedding and not after. I hope you won't do anything like that again.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have two sisters and haven't spoken to one in 11 years, and could frankly care less what happens to her.
> 
> There are reasons this can happen.
> 
> ...



High Five ^^^

I haven't spoken to my older sister more than 20 years because she was just like OP, she went after every guy I dated. When my Ex met her I had told him ahead of time, "BTW my sister is going to try like hell to jump your bones, don't be flattered, it is more about her than you" >


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

sparrow55 said:


> Dude.. No. Speak for yourself


For reals.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

sparrow55 said:


> jsmart said:
> 
> 
> > Nothing but time and space.
> ...


Dude - you must be dating / married to the fugly one. I've got the pretty one.

Seriously - do you actually jerk it to your SIL? And would you bang her at the first opportunity? That has never crossed my mind.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

---


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

notmyrealname4 said:


> kristin,
> 
> I knew I missed a relevant quote in my last post. It was yours.
> 
> ...



It isn't too personal. No she was not successful, but she hit on every boyfriend I had. She even hit on my friend's fathers and friends of my parents who were married. Her now deceased husband was married with 3 kids, he left them for her. She is a stone cold sociopath.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

---


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

I don't believe you could have kept this from her forever. The truth always has a way of coming out. The lie and deceit would have eventually consumed you. Now that your sister is understandably devastated and her ex-fiance is calling you all these things all you can do for now is give her space and a lot of time. Don't bombard her with apologies or requests to meet or any of that nature. If you pray at all do that. Remember her on her birthday and at Christmas time with a card or something. Yes, it is shameful what you did but maybe someday she will find the courage to forgive you. Anyone who has ever been cheated on hasn't been able to forgive within 5 minutes. So expect this to take weeks, months or even years.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Herschel said:


> Actually, no, I don't really lie at all. I guess my idea comes off a lot worse than it seems to me.
> 
> I look at it like this: The bond for family is different than the bond for a spouse. If my kid told me he loved Mommy more than me, should I feel angry or betrayed? No, because he is my kid and will always be my kid. The sister will always be your sister despite stupid **** that she does. There are times where living with the guilt is more important than relieving yourself of it to the detriment of your sister. It's actually more selfish in that scenario, if, and it's a big if, you NEVER do it again. You don't have the verbal commitment that a spouse has regarding infidelity. You have an emotional one, that you betrayed, but it does nothing, other than destroy your sister, if you come clean about it.
> 
> ...


This made it worse.

When you find that you have dug yourself into a hole, the best course of action is to put the shovel down rather than keep digging.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I want to say that the guys' responses to the fantasizing about their wives' sisters and friends comment warms my heart.

Always nice with some of the ugliness on TAM.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

farsidejunky said:


> This made it worse.
> 
> When you find that you have dug yourself into a hole, the best course of action is to put the shovel down rather than keep digging.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


I hear what you are saying, but I don't think you can put the ideology of honesty that goes between a husband and wife (or any partners) to one of a family. While we forgive transgressions more easily with family, they also have less impact on our lives (the transgressions). A spouse has promised honesty to you, and betrayal causes trust to be destroyed. You don't require the same kind of trust with a sibling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> I want to say that the guys' responses to the fantasizing about their wives' sisters and friends comment warms my heart.
> 
> Always nice with some of the ugliness on TAM.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


To quote our @GusPolinisky here: "For reals" :smile2:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Bibi1031 said:


> To quote our @GusPolinisky here: "For reals" :smile2:


Yeah, Gus does have a way with words 

Even when he irritates me I'm still amused.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

I would never fantasize or think of my SIL's sexually, that also goes for my friends adult daughters, twice removed nieces, and any other situation where it's simply weird and inappropriate. Wife's good friends though that's another story 

It takes a special type of a**hole to try to f*ck their siblings husband/wife.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

MelbaB said:


> No, I will not seek him again. I want nothing to do with him. He's the one that has been writting me an angry message calling me a snitch and that I ruined it all. I've known him since the day my sister introduced me to him but nope I have never hang out with him alone until that happened.
> 
> As to why I ended up almost screwing him, I know you all have heard of the ''I was drunk'' excuse probably indefinite by now but that's all I can come up with. Under normal circumstances, I would have never pictured myself being that intimate with him, much less hang out with him.


He's calling you a snitch and blaming this on you for telling the truth instead of saying how badly he screwed up and how sorry he is to your sister.

It sounds like your sister dodged a bullet not marrying this immature, selfish cheater. In the long run, your bad behavior did her a huge favor.


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## Piper502 (Jun 2, 2016)

Ever hear the saying, "sober truths off of drunk lips?"

Think about it . . .


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

I'm going to briefly elaborate since some of you want to know why I was at his party. Honestly, I wasn't after him; I was looking for someone else. Not counting the waitress and the stripper hired for that day, the three of us (my friends and I) were just stopping by for a couple hours mainly for the food, music and I heard from others my old HS crush Alfredo (he's friends with two of the guys) going to be there. In addition, one of my friends wanted to make sure her bf who was there doesn't drink too much.

Needless to say, Alfredo got sick and informed others he wasn't going to make it. At first the three of us were chit chatting and then we started dancing with the other guys (except for my friend who was dancing with her bf). I wasn't anywhere near the fiance yet. 

Long story short, drinks were served after the feast and I admitted to exceeding my limit. At some point I felt kind of sick and that's when the fiance (I'll start calling him by his name, which is Adrian) offered to walk me into this spare room so I can feel better. He was just as drunk at that moment but wasn't sick like I was. It all started with some small talk, how grateful he felt that I came, his life changing that he's both excited and nervous and I started telling him about the exams and my latest break-up (my last bf dumped me suddenly 3 months ago and I was still trying to get over him) as well being disappointed that Alfredo didn't show up. I guess my state somehow got me to open up to him since we never had this type of conversation and at first he was just trying to comfort me.

This is where I messed up afterwards. I rested my head on his shoulder and grabbed his arm. He immediately replied by moving my head towards him and trying to kiss me, which I reciprocated. It went on for them all the way to stopping me at the last minute when he was trying to pull my pants (by then, they were a bit more than halfway pulled). That's when I snapped out of it, pulled them back on, buttoned my shirt, told him it couldn't be happening and left. One of my friends and someone else had to drive me home.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Wow Melba, your grammar improved dramatically compared to this other earlier post #7:

*Thank you for the reply. Since I knew two of my closed female friends were stopping by, a waitress and a stripper I decided to come along.*

This thread was created IMO by an under the bridge dweller...I'm out!


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

ne9907 said:


> Have you done something similar before? Let me elaborate, have you flirted, kissed, been attracted, or too friendly, with one of your sister's boyfriends before?
> 
> As you said earlier, alcohol is not an excuse for this behavior. You had to be at least attracted to the ex fiancée in order to kiss him. I personally, and suspect other women, would not let a man we are not attracted to grope nor kiss us.
> 
> You should really delve into the reason you kissed the fiancée. Perhaps, it would help in mending your relationship


No, I haven't done something like this before. I never thought anything about him when my sister first introduced him to us other than simply thinking he's good looking. Well my sister always chose attractive guys since her junior school years.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> Wow Melba, your grammar improved dramatically compared to this other earlier post #7:
> 
> *Thank you for the reply. Since I knew two of my closed female friends were stopping by, a waitress and a stripper I decided to come along.*
> 
> This thread was created IMO by an under the bridge dweller...I'm out!


I'm seeing a typo "closed" versus "closest" and a missing comma after "stripper".

Bit of a stretch to call troll just because of that.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Mclane said:


> I'm seeing a typo "closed" versus "closest" and a missing comma after "stripper".
> 
> Bit of a stretch to call troll just because of that.


We've had too much tossing of the troll card recently. In this instance I don't see any of the typical hot button plot lines.

In any case, if a troll is suspected the best course of action is to report it to a mod and not post on the thread.


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

MelbaB said:


> I'm going to briefly elaborate since some of you want to know why I was at his party. Honestly, I wasn't after him; I was looking for someone else. Not counting the waitress and the stripper hired for that day, the three of us (my friends and I) were just stopping by for a couple hours mainly for the food, music and I heard from others my old HS crush Alfredo (he's friends with two of the guys) going to be there. In addition, one of my friends wanted to make sure her bf who was there doesn't drink too much.
> 
> Needless to say, Alfredo got sick and informed others he wasn't going to make it. At first the three of us were chit chatting and then we started dancing with the other guys (except for my friend who was dancing with her bf). I wasn't anywhere near the fiance yet.


You were shopping for groceries while hungry. Your desired food was not there so you ended up buying junk food, something you would not have bought if you were not hungry. Nevertheless were you looking for food.

You went to the party not to celebrate the groom or your sister's wedding, you wanted to hook up. The desired man wasn't there so you ended up with someone else. Alcohol only lowered your inhibitions, I don't think you would have stayed sober if Alfredo would have been there (maybe less drunk but non the under the influence).

So if you now say that you didn't want to hook up with your fiance, that's only partially true, in your situation it could have been anyone who would have shown you attention and you were loosely attracted to. You wanted to hook up, at least subconsciously.
That's the reason why BS get so mad at the "I didn't want to have sex" BS. You wanted, maybe not specifically with your sister's fiance but just someone.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

MelbaB. Sigh. Can you not see how many things you did wrong? All your post make it sound like the scenario that played out was just happenstance. I have yet to get the feel of true remorse or accountability from you about what you did. And you did cause this, make no mistake, your actions and decisions started this train wreck. Shame on the ex fiance as well, he could have easily called your sister and said "hey babe, your little sis crashed my party and is drunk and sick. Can you come get her out of here?" But nooooo, you both took the low road.

Maybe you should marry the guy, heck it sounds like the wedding was close enough that they won't get any of their deposit monies back, might as well take advantage of the opportunity...you're good at that.

Here's a PS....I say BS to anyone who makes it sound like the OP ultimately is doing her sister a favor, she didn't go there thinking she was going to out the fiance for bad behavior, she went their to party and was looking for a hook up. The fiance sounds like a douche bag for sure, but I don't see this as a scenario where some day the sisters laugh about it and hug it out.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

I will stray from the pack and say that this event is about Melba's relationship with her sister.

I have a sister like Melba. When I began dating, my younger sister did her best to lure those boys away from me, and she succeeded. Of course, she dropped them as soon as she nailed them. It was just a way to get to me. Thankfully, she didn't follow suit when I began dating girls (and no, she didn't cause me to be gay).

I don't think Melba is being altruistic and I certainly doubt that she's genuinely sorry. It's simply too weird that she happened to be at that stag party.


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

I'm not a choirboy but never quite understood a bachelor party with strippers. Drinks, BBQ, and maybe a game on television. Parties with a sexual theme like strippers is just asking for trouble. 

Maybe I have this wrong but I thought bachelor parties were exclusively guys except for those that host a stripper. Any females showing up there knowing a stripper was invited or not have really questionable motives and poor judgement. Kinda asking for as much trouble as the guys hiring strippers. 

It seems to me the Op did her sister a favor by being honest. I also think she regrets it very much.

Op there are some mistakes (maybe that's a poor word choice here) in life we can get away with and others we can't. Generally we can't walk in front of a racing train twice. Choices and decisions can have life altering consequences. I'm Mr Obvious, right? 😬
I hope your relationship with your sister mends.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> He's calling you a snitch and blaming this on you for telling the truth instead of saying how badly he screwed up and how sorry he is to your sister.
> 
> It sounds like your sister dodged a bullet not marrying this immature, selfish cheater. *In the long run, your bad behavior did her a huge favor*.


No. In the long run, all her bad behaviour did is forever change her relationship with her sister, and not for the better.

It's quite likely the ex-fiancee would have shown his true colors eventually. One can make the argument...better now than later...but I have to ask...at what cost? This whole "finding out now" thing came at the very steep price of being betrayed by your own sister. I am not sure many people would ever consider that trade off to be even remotely worth it.

Sister are supposed to be there for each other to help pick up the pieces over a bottle of wine, cheap chinese take out, and fuzzy slipper after the boyfriend cheats, not to be the one break her into pieces in the first place.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

samyeagar said:


> No. In the long run, all her bad behaviour did is forever change her relationship with her sister, and not for the better.
> 
> It's quite likely the ex-fiancee would have shown his true colors eventually. One can make the argument...better now than later...but I have to ask...at what cost? This whole "finding out now" thing came at the very steep price of being betrayed by your own sister. I am not sure many people would ever consider that trade off to be even remotely worth it.
> 
> Sister are supposed to be there for each other to help pick up the pieces over a bottle of wine, cheap chinese take out, and fuzzy slipper after the boyfriend cheats, not to be the one break her into pieces in the first place.


OK, she changed her relationship with her sister AND helped her sister dodge a bullet.

I am not saying it is *good *that she did this, like "if not for you your sister would have married him and learned much later." It would be much better if she had never betrayed her sister in this manner. But since she did, the finding out before getting married to this guy is definitely a silver lining for her sister.

Of course many young women (myself included) just move on to the next A-hole so she's only better off if she chooses more carefully next time.

I have never gotten drunk and screwed around with anyone off limits in this manner and I don't want to minimize the wrongness of what the OP did. However, I really DO believe that the fact that she was so guilt ridden she told her sister, despite the consequences of coming clean, is redeeming on her part and shows that what she did WAS out of character for her and hopefully something she will never repeat. And I do think if she had a good relationship with her sister before, their relationship can be completely repaired over time.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Haiku said:


> I'm not a choirboy but never quite understood a bachelor party with strippers. Drinks, BBQ, and maybe a game on television. Parties with a sexual theme like strippers is just asking for trouble.
> 
> Maybe I have this wrong but I thought bachelor parties were exclusively guys except for those that host a stripper. Any females showing up there knowing a stripper was invited or not have really questionable motives and poor judgement. Kinda asking for as much trouble as the guys hiring strippers.


I never understood the whole "naked women at a bachelor party" theme either. If the temptation of naked strangers is such a temptation to a man that he wants this last night of debauchery, why is he getting married in the first place.

Regardless. When I was in my early 20's I was in the military and I went to bachelor parties where they had strippers. 

The groom was a perfect gentleman. I think there were 1 or 2 other non stripper women there, but these guys were all our coworkers and friends. I also went out "with the guys" to strip bars a few times. It was always just quite the fun adventure. 

I never got out of my mind drunk though and no one ever tried anything untoward with me. But I also didn't think anything of it as a reflection on me. *I *wasn't stripping or tipping. If some guy who had a GF or Fiance put the moves on me I would have been genuinely shocked.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

MelbaB said:


> I'm going to briefly elaborate since some of you want to know why I was at his party. Honestly, I wasn't after him; I was looking for someone else. Not counting the waitress and the stripper hired for that day, the three of us (my friends and I) were just stopping by for a couple hours mainly for the food, music and I heard from others my old HS crush Alfredo (he's friends with two of the guys) going to be there. In addition, one of my friends wanted to make sure her bf who was there doesn't drink too much.
> 
> Needless to say, Alfredo got sick and informed others he wasn't going to make it. At first the three of us were chit chatting and then we started dancing with the other guys (except for my friend who was dancing with her bf). I wasn't anywhere near the fiance yet.
> 
> ...


I think you need to look deeper into yourself and find out why you would let something like this happen. This is a major thing to have done to your sister and I don't think it can be blamed on a 'few drinks'. Are you really taking responsibility for what happened when you blame it on drinks and him?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Stay away from bachelor parties - they're for the guys not the relatives of the future bride. He might have thought since you were ruining his fun, you owed him something.

You used the occasion of your sister's fiance's bachelor party to try to hook up with an old boyfriend? When did you start to believe that this was all about you? Did you tell your sister that you and friends were going to be crashing the little shindig? Are you sure that you weren't more than a little jealous of your sister? 

If you're still speaking, your sister will have the opportunity to return the favor when it's your time to marry.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

introvert said:


> I will stray from the pack and say that this event is about Melba's relationship with her sister.
> 
> I have a sister like Melba. When I began dating, my younger sister did her best to lure those boys away from me, and she succeeded. Of course, she dropped them as soon as she nailed them. It was just a way to get to me. Thankfully, she didn't follow suit when I began dating girls (and no, she didn't cause me to be gay).
> 
> I don't think Melba is being altruistic and I certainly doubt that she's genuinely sorry. It's simply too weird that she happened to be at that stag party.


I wasn't trying to go after my sister's ex fiancee and I never flirted with any other past bfs she had. It's this mistake I made. If I had a magic wand to rewind time, I would. 

I hate to see her suffer like that because of me.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MelbaB said:


> I wasn't trying to go after my sister's ex fiancee and I never flirted with any other past bfs she had. It's this mistake I made. If I had a magic wand to rewind time, I would.
> 
> I hate to see her suffer like that because of me.


I am telling you, in the end she is going to be grateful.

What are your parents saying about it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Stay away from bachelor parties - they're for the guys not the relatives of the future bride. He might have thought since you were ruining his fun, you owed him something.


I know but I was after my HS crush Alfredo (not a bf but a guy would hang out with and liked a lot), not him. I have never done anything like this to my sister before. I always wanted the best for her. If there was a way I could go back in time I would. 



Blondilocks said:


> If you're still speaking, your sister will have the opportunity to return the favor when it's your time to marry.


At this moment, I'm still on her contact list as she already told me she wouldn't take me off but we're not speaking. She wants me to leave her alone and she'll speak to me on her own pace.


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## MelbaB (Jun 7, 2016)

jld said:


> I am telling you, in the end she is going to be grateful.
> 
> What are your parents saying about it?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


They are stressed out about the situation and are hoping we patch things up sometime this year. They are telling me to just respect my sister's wish for now. 

I really regret it.

As for the grammar,
That tends to happen if I'm in a rush. I go to college and work at the same time. When I take my time however, it's easier to watch out for errors.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> Yeah, Gus does have a way with words
> 
> Even when he irritates me I'm still amused.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"I know but I was after my HS crush Alfredo"

It was all about you, wasn't it? What? Your sister picked an ugly dress for you to wear? Were you going to regale her with stories of her intended's bachelor party? You had no business being there - period. Trolling for a hook-up at a bachelor party is about as pathetic as it gets.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

spinsterdurga said:


> She's going to be grateful that her sister betrayed her?


Better to find out he is a heal before the marriage rather than between kids two and three, perhaps?


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

I think some of you are a bit out of touch with what happens with the younger generation. Everybody attends the bachelor party, even the bride, with or without strippers. Some BP's are turned up, some more tame, but everybody goes.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MelbaB said:


> They are stressed out about the situation and are hoping we patch things up sometime this year. They are telling me to just respect my sister's wish for now.
> 
> I really regret it.
> 
> ...


Melba, how can we help you? Is there specific advice you are looking for?

I think things are going pretty well, actually. It sounds like the family is pretty close. I think things will eventually be healed. Scarred perhaps, but healed.

Just continue to respect your sister's wishes. She is still dealing with the shock of finding out his true character, and of course, how. That had to have been a blow.

Are you doing okay?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

thefam said:


> I think some of you are a bit out of touch with what happens with the younger generation. Everybody attends the bachelor party, even the bride, with or without strippers. Some BP's are turned up, some more tame, but everybody goes.


Good point, tfam. Thanks for educating us.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

thefam said:


> I think some of you are a bit out of touch with what happens with the younger generation. Everybody attends the bachelor party, even the bride, with or without strippers. Some BP's are turned up, some more tame, but everybody goes.


The bride didn't go.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> The bride didn't go.


So what? I'm just saying it's not odd at all that the OP went.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

spinsterdurga said:


> I agree but not at the expense of her relationship with her sister. Seriously, people need to stop trying to minimize what the op did. She betrayed her sister... She didn't do her any favors.


That's the real downside here, obviously.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> The bride didn't go.





spinsterdurga said:


> *What makes it odd for some of us is why did she go* when her sister didn't ?
> 
> Making out with your sister's fiancé to the point where he's starting to undress you isn't a lapse of judgment.


I understand why those who think that it is odd, do so, since her sister didn't come. I was just stating that it is no longer odd for all people connected to the bride and groom to go to the Bachelor Party. Apparently she wasn't the only female there, so it doesn't seem that far-fetched to me.

I didn't say that she had a lapse in judgement. I feel that as it relates to her telling her sister, and not keeping it a secret she did the right thing. It really sucks that she betrayed her sister, but it would have sucked much more had her sister married the guy, he cheats on her, and THEN she finds out later down the road that her sister could have saved her at least SOME of the heartache. So in that sense, her sister dodged a cannonball.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

spinsterdurga said:


> When A's fiancé had his bachelor party, the girls didn't go. I'm sorry her story is fishy.


What do you think is fishy? You think the OP went there to be seduced by her sister's fiance?


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

thefam said:


> I understand why those who think that it is odd, do so, since her sister didn't come. I was just stating that it is no longer odd for all people connected to the bride and groom to go to the Bachelor Party. Apparently she wasn't the only female there, so it doesn't seem that far-fetched to me.
> 
> I didn't say that she had a lapse in judgement. I feel that as it relates to her telling her sister, and not keeping it a secret she did the right thing. It really sucks that she betrayed her sister, but it would have sucked much more had her sister married the guy, he cheats on her, and THEN she finds out later down the road that her sister could have saved her at least SOME of the heartache. So in that sense, her sister dodged a cannonball.


 @thefam at the expense of the relationship with her sister though?

Cause if I put myself in the sister's shoes, I know exactly who's betrayal cuts deeper.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

camerashy said:


> @thefam at the expense of the relationship with her sister though?
> 
> Cause if I put myself in the sister's shoes, I know exactly who's betrayal cuts deeper.


Deeper than the person you were going to become "one flesh" with?


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

thefam said:


> I think some of you are a bit out of touch with what happens with the younger generation. Everybody attends the bachelor party, even the bride, with or without strippers. Some BP's are turned up, some more tame, but everybody goes.


LOL.

Millennials.


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## camerashy (May 29, 2016)

jld said:


> Deeper than the person you were going to become "one flesh" with?


BF/GF/H/W come and go as they please. Your sister is your sister forever.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OP how does one get to this point. Why were you not yelling stop when he started even making passes at you? Why did it take you getting to the point of petting?


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

I would have never told my sister if it was me. A bomb has just blown up and she will never trust you again. I would have denied it it the fiancé ever spilled the beans. This would gave been a lesson what not to do!


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

jld said:


> Deeper than the person you were going to become "one flesh" with?


I would expect "my blood" to watch my interest above all others! While a husband and wife is a sacred relationship, it's not blood, which is supposed to be stronger. At least the way I grew up, that's what we believed. 

No doubt the Fiancée is a big huge piece of sh1t, worthy of contempt, but a brother/sister betrayal of this kind beats all. If I were the OP, she would be dead to me.


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