# He resents me and throws it in my face constantly



## krikit (Oct 25, 2010)

We had a long distance relationship for about 3 years. During that time he put off school, while I finished my undergraduate course. We also put of moving to New Zealand (his childhood dream) because my mother and father weren't happy about the idea (it was our mistake for listing to them). We ended up getting married and stayed here in the states in hopes that he would get to study here. He ended up no going to school straight away because the course he wanted to do was very expensive and there was no finical aid available to him. He also struggled to find work after he got his working visa. During that time that he was unemployed we spend all my savings so that we could live and we also go into debt. After about a six months he found a job. He has been working at this job for about 7 month and is just simply misrable. He is unhappy most of the time and hates living were we currently live. He misses his family back in france because haven't been able to see them in two year because of money. We are however going this christmas after about 2 years of not seeing them but he still isn't happy. He blames me for not doing the course while we were apart, he blames me for us not going to NZ and he blames me not being about to do his course here. 

He says I'm selfish. I probably am. I recently started a graduate course to become a teacher. My loans will be fogiven after a certain amount of year dedicated to teaching in a low income area, so the debt won't be heavy from that. But before I started that I wanted him to be OK with it. He said he was. I told him that I wouldn't take it if he would resent me. he said that I shouldn't be daft and take the great opportunity because I would have a higher earn potencial after the course (I would be able to pay for his course). But still he says I'm selfish. I only think of myself first. He is almost always angry. He doesn't seem happy. We talk about it but all he says to me is that I always say sorry and never change. He says I don't consider him. Honestly, he is depressed. I don't know how to fix it. I love him very much but sometimes I feel that the unselfish thing to do would be just end it with him so that he can be free of me. He loves me too but maybe one of us need to be brave to end things. He isn't happy with me, with our situation. It seems like I'm the worst thing that happened to him. It is horrible to feel like I've been doing that to him. 

I'm quite young... 25 and he is 32. I don't know if I'm giving up to easy. We've been together for 5 years and married for almost two. 

When we he is happy we are great together. We laugh a hell of a lot and are very honest with each other about our feelings. 

I just can't live with him throwing everything in my face all the time and I can't stand that he isn't happy.


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## gjgw (Nov 6, 2010)

Hi, 

Your situation is similar to mine, my wife came from Hong Kong about 5 years ago and I was in school at the time, when she came i was about 6 months from graduating and we were living at my parents house at the time, I told her to come back in six months after my school and we would marry, this made her very sad and being that I love her so I decided to just marry her then and we'd stay here together, well after that every time I went to school she became very sad and cried so first my grades began dwindling because i couldn't dedicate as much time to my schooling then the problem escalated because she cried when I went to school, I decided to drop school to be with her, and 5 years later I've yet to finish, but my point is that, although things get difficult when love gets into the mix, you have to see the bigger picture, do you think you can find someone who makes you as happy as he makes you despite all the drama, and you should ask him the same, in my case I realize that regardless I don't think I can find someone who makes me as happy as she does, after a few years of marriage, things change a bit now after five years I feel she is ready to allow me the time for me to be able to what I need to do. Maybe you should consider it at this point and put NZ on hold for a bit more and be productive so that when he's done although you'll be a bit older, you will also be a bit wiser.


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