# Husband is getting insecure,plz help



## DivaRandal (Oct 19, 2011)

We got married in April 2010 and hes thirty five and i am twenty four.
We dated for three years after he divorced his ex wife
usually my husband is very loving and caring but of late i ve been noticing that he gets jealous and takes extra measures to look good. 
He did have issues with men getting friendly with me but i have always shown him that i love him.
He thinks that i may start liking someone else.
He dislikes me talking to guys of my age.
And gets hostile with his younger colleagues if they try to chat with me.
I always have to show extra affection to him when guys are around me like holding hands continously when we are together and back in bed he wants sex very often.
Recently he said that hes insecure about his past.
My husband used to be a player and he had cheated on his ex wife quite often.His wife was hardly bothered about him and cared only about the wealth and fame he provided her with.
He told me that after meeting me he realized the values of true love and that he found his soulmate in me.He has never ever cheated on me.
Hes been very loyal to me.
He looks really good,is really in great shape,and is unblemished but sometimes i ve noticed that he will do extra work on his face,like applying powders etc.
I dont mind that he takes care of himself but i dont really care about that.i love him and i love his company.
what should i do???


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Perfect example of "projection". Since he was/is a cheater he figures you are capable of it. I would be extremely worried about him remaining faithful sorry to say.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Perfect example of "projection". Since he was/is a cheater he figures you are capable of it. I would be extremely worried about him remaining faithful sorry to say.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This , very much this.

btw - did his ex ever cheat?


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## Meatpuppet (Jan 2, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Perfect example of "projection". Since he was/is a cheater he figures you are capable of it. I would be extremely worried about him remaining faithful sorry to say.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

To a point...

I think the alternative view is that he loves you so much and feels he's so lucky to have you that he's constantly obsessing over you doing to him what he did in his past - ESPECIALLY considering your age difference. 

In fact, all things being equal, I'd say that's the source of his insecurity: middle-age guy married to a 24 year old who, as most 24 year olds are wont to do in this country, are free-spirited and often "playing the field." 

Note that I'm in _no way_ suggesting you fall into this category; I'm just making a generaization. However, if you want an explanation of the pathology of his insecurity, that's the best I got 

Show him you love him as best you can; based on what you said, you seem to be doing that in spades. 

Failing that, have a seroius talk with him and maybe suggest MC before unsaid feelings lead to regrettable actions.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

DivaRandal said:


> i ve noticed that he will do extra work on his face,like applying powders etc.


:scratchhead:


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> Perfect example of "projection". Since he was/is a cheater he figures you are capable of it. I would be extremely worried about him remaining faithful sorry to say.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have to agree. Especially if he is insecure right now about an age difference and worries that you may prefer younger men. He has 2 strikes against him now; past cheater and insecure over younger guys.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Perfect example of "projection". Since he was/is a cheater he figures you are capable of it. I would be extremely worried about him remaining faithful sorry to say.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bingo!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I think we are either being trolled or the OP is crazy. 

Because it keeps posting about the "cousin" and this man being obsessed with another woman and being in threatre and whatnot. This OP changed her username & was posting under another name the same type of stories.

Another one of OP's stories is below in which she talks about her husband cheated on his ex wife with her with the OP was engaged to someone else. So maybe it's not "projection"...or goes deeper than that--OP and her husband helped betray his last marriage/had an ongoing affair and maybe that is why he doesn't trust her/himself?:



DivaRandal said:


> *Before i got married i was in love with a married man*(11 years my senior who is now my hubby) who had a 3 year old daughter.*We were extremely good friends and we enjoyed each other's company. But very hesistatingly i disclosed him my feelings that i had for him.At that time he said he had to continue with his wife for 3 years *as his daughter was too young and he couldnt handle her alone as his job required him to be out of home frequently.
> *I didnt force him *and i began dating a guy who was my collegemate who genuinely loved me.He had the hurry to get engaged so we did get engaged.but the moment i got engaged my life was torn apart.*The man,now my husband became crazy after he heard about my engagement.*He would show up late at night at my house and call me bad things.Then he became absoluetly berserk.
> *He began having sexual relationship with me.I yeilded coz i had no option.*He would break the furniture,scream and shout like crazy.He said if i get involved with him sexually my fiance would dump me.*he took up heavy drinking,separated and divorced his wife and took the custody of his child citing me as her new mom.He would have sex with me whenever he got the opportunity.My fiance came to know all this and he broke up with me.
> After i married him hes a completely changed man as i said before in my previous question*.He takes care of me to bits,makes sure i am happy and never forces me for sex as he was doing before.I was pregnant but i had a miscarriage.Throughout that time he nursed me,cooked my fav dishes for me and even cried a lot when he came to know that i was in intensive care.*his behavior has totally changed*.Though hes still possessive hes become very sweet and loving.
> *i love him very much but why did he act like that*?


Riddle solved.


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