# Potty training



## Lyla (Oct 13, 2010)

I've been trying to potty train my almost-2 year old daughter since the past few months, on and off. She lets me know when she has pooped, and wants me to change her diaper. She shows interest in the potty by telling me she wants to sit, but when I try to sit her on it, she gets scared, refuses and starts crying. At that point, I just put it away, and I distract her with something else to calm her down. I have both the big toilet attachment for toddlers, as well as the little potty. Neither has worked.

I keep hearing the long you wait, the harder it gets, but should I wait longer? Are there any other tips and tricks?


----------



## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

Lyla said:


> I keep hearing the long you wait, the harder it gets, but should I wait longer? Are there any other tips and tricks?


I don't necessarily agree with "the longer you wait the harder it gets." I think kids need to be "ready" developmentally for potty training, and I think that "ready time" can be within a broad range of ages for a lot of kids (anywhere from 18 months to age 4 and older for kids who are developmentally delayed).

What I've heard is that when they are ready, potty training is much easier and happens faster than if you try to push them into it before they are ready.

Our kids were potty trained at different ages, and I know my son would have had a really tough time if we had started him at the same age we started my daughter.


----------



## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I definitely don't agree that the longer you wait the harder it gets. It depends on the child.

There IS some real risk to potty training when they are not ready. I mention this in your case since you mention that your daughter is scared. This happened to my daughter as well....

She was potty trained while at daycare. The provider never told me that she had begun bleeding during bowel movements until she was bleeding significantly though she had been showing blood for some time before that. It turns out that my daughter was frightened to go so she held it in. When it came out it was large and hard and caused fissures in her rectal tissue. It was painful which increased the fear, holding and pain and blood.

Our pedicatrician's advice for training was to wait rather than push too hard. 

I know there are different views out there. But I thought I would share in case it is helpful to you.


----------



## Warbaby (Nov 10, 2010)

First I really agree above that it depends heavily on the cognative ability of you daughter. I realize saying every kid is different is not blazingly insightful but very true. 
For us we did a few things that really helped:

1. The wife and I both started using the bathroom with the door open, I know it sounds goofy but she would watch us and I think that might help you with the scary part.

2. We made a big deal about pretty panties (Disney,Dora,etc) bought her a pair and really made a big deal about them, obviously wouldnt let her wear them until she promised to try not to poop/pee in them.

3. Finally and I know this breaks a lot of rules but we were rewards based for going in the toilet, a few M&M everytime she was successful. It was a lot easier to break her of the M&M habbit, than trying to motivate her to go to the potty on her own.

Hope that helps..good luck


----------



## valaria (Oct 18, 2010)

While potty training my son, he trained at 21/2 almost 3 !!!! We tried everything, then summer came and off came the diaper...I know it seems unconventional but when they're naked there is no other choice than the potty.. it worked in less than a week and he is no worse for it...well except he still pees in the woods when he's outside!
Good Luck and try to make potty training a stress free event !


----------



## LeahKoenig (Nov 19, 2010)

So many great ideas and hopefully reassurance that the age range for potty training is broad. There is actually a whole lot a child needs to put together emotionally and physically to potty train. Some children take a while to put it all together, she may be ready for some parts of it but not all. It's wonderful your daughter is showing interest on her own. With this interest piqued it seems like she is able to take the lead and show you when she is ready.

Modeling is a great idea so it looks like you are relaxed and not slamming the door shut making it scary and private. Add a little theatrical acting so it looks like going to the potty is fun - it is actually relieving so play that up. 

Practice with your daughter by role playing. How to get on the potty, pretend going, counting out a few squares of toilet paper, getting off, flushing the toilet, waving bye bye and then washing hands. 

Children are often afraid of the flushing and because of automatic toilets in public restrooms sometimes fear the toilet will flush before they are ready. She may not say this to you but have a distant memory of this scary, unexpected noise.

I had one family suggest a small box of bathroom toys and books kept by the toilet that were only used while sitting on the potty. They even taped up a weekly comic. They had this even during the role play so the child could just get comfortable sitting on the potty, having fun with no pressure to perform.

Personally I did what another suggested, I waited until warm weather and gave my child some naked time after meals. Something magical about that diaper-free feeling. I also changed to cloth diapers during the day so my child began to feel when he was wet and had a chance to experience cause and effect, otherwise disposable diapers can work so well that a child doesn't have a chance to put the two concepts together.

Of course it always seems to happen that once we back off, decide to take a break and put it out of our mind, our children step forward and try again.


----------

