# How do I tell him?



## daisykay (Mar 17, 2010)

So, my husband and I have been married for 5 years and have two daughters, ages 3 and 5. Short story on all of this is that he is an alcoholic and I am leaving him. He knows how I feel but managed to convince me that he will change and he will make my life happy and so on. Well, that is not going to happen. Even if he were to change 100%, I am no longer in love with him, for the way he has treated me for the past many years. It is over in my mind, but not in his. I have asked him to leave several times and he won’t. He either does not take me serious or says he will change, and for me to give it more time. So, I am leaving. I am going to move in with either my grandma or my brother, they have both graciously accepted and will help me in any way, and my parents too. I will be taking a year of absence from my work (as my family live about 2 hours away) so I know that if something happens, I have this secure well paying job here for a year if I need it. But I have a job interview on Friday for a decent salary and Iwill be meeting with the elementary school on Friday as well to register my oldest, and I will be meeting with a day care on Friday as well to get my youngest registerd. So, everything is on track and I plan to be moving home by August 1st. But what do I do about my husband. Should I tell him now that this is all going on, or just wait until the last minute. But next week, if I get this job, Iwill be giving work my 2 weeks notice and news travels fast and he works as a contractor for the same company as I do, and he will get wind of it. so what do I do. How do I tell him, and he will react so badly, I know it. first freaking out, then doing everything in his power to keep me. 

Any advise is appreciated.


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## JustCallMeGirl (May 17, 2010)

If there's no abuse, it might be better to be direct with him sooner than later. Since you have children I think it's especially important to make this as amicable as possible. You will have to communicate with him and being up front will be more helpful in this than popping it on him in the last minute. He will be resentful and that will just be another thing to make this situation worse. 

If you think he'll be dangerous or abusive (since you said he'd react so badly) it would probably be safer after everything is set.


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## BorrowedHalo (Jul 6, 2010)

I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to state, at work, when you give your 2 weeks notice (cuz I just know you'll get the job!), that the person is NOT TO repeat that you are leaving to ANYONE. If you explain that either you haven't told him yet or that you have and he isn't taking it so well, the person should get it.

You said he's a contractor...yikes! An alcoholic with a nail gun?! I will pray for his safety and that of those around him.

~K


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

BorrowedHalo said:


> I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to state, at work, when you give your 2 weeks notice (cuz I just know you'll get the job!), that the person is NOT TO repeat that you are leaving to ANYONE. If you explain that either you haven't told him yet or that you have and he isn't taking it so well, the person should get it.
> 
> You said he's a contractor...yikes! An alcoholic with a nail gun?! I will pray for his safety and that of those around him.
> 
> ~K


Im a contractor and let me tell ya at least 50% are alchies or dope heads, lots and lots of tweekers with nail guns. I not one of those types.

OP Im not a drunk, druggie, and have never been abusive to My X and I came home to papers. Of all the things that hurt the most was the fact of after 10 years together my W didnt have the decentceny to even talk to me. That and the fact she charged 10,000 on CCs.


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## azmo (Jul 8, 2010)

When everything's ready, tell him you're leaving. Probably when someone else is close, so you're safe.


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