# What is he never asks you for BJ?



## samtravis (Aug 30, 2012)

We have seen may guys post saying they want more blow jobs from wives. How would you as a wife feel if your husband never asks you to suck his ****. If he feels BJ's are disgraceful. Would you be relieved and glad he is that way. Would you feel something is missing from sex. Would you be tempted to perform oral sex on him.


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## katieann (Jul 13, 2012)

I can say that for me, that would make me fixated on changing his mind, making something forbidden like that.  Does he think they are disgraceful to you for being subjugated to that, or to him somehow?


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

I've heard that some guys don't want their d-ck sucked.

Never understood that one, I prefer it to any form of sex.

I figure they've got unresolved issues from childhood or something of that nature and they just don't know what they're missing.

Show him.

Wait til he's fast asleep and then get busy. Might be helpful to restrain him if you expect resistance, silk ties on the wrists and ankles will suffice if you don't have 4 sets of handcuffs available.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

Maybe it's just me but I don't think I would see it as a challenge. He don't like it, I don't do it. Where there would be a problem is if he didn't like giving as well because that's one of the main ways I get off.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

donders said:


> I figure they've got unresolved issues from childhood or something of that nature and they just don't know what they're missing.


--Or it could just be generational. It used to be that there were certain things that 'Nice girls' didn't do and that was often one of them.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Maybe he knows you don't want to.


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## samtravis (Aug 30, 2012)

ocotillo said:


> --Or it could just be generational. It used to be that there were certain things that 'Nice girls' didn't do and that was often one of them.


Yeah that is the reason. Blowjobs are done only in Porn and not by "Good girls" and is not good thing to ask from wife.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I was never a big fan of them because my STBXW didn't want to give them, so they sucked (pun intended) and they were never to completion anyway. But my GF rocked my world with them, and it's now a regular request from both of us. Her asking if she can give me one, or me asking if she will. 

My point... Make sure you're rocking his world with them. If that's not the problem, there's not too much you can do besides making sure he knows they're on the menu anytime he wants one. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

PBear said:


> I was never a big fan of them because my STBXW didn't want to give them, so they sucked (pun intended) and they were never to completion anyway. But my GF rocked my world with them, and it's now a regular request from both of us. Her asking if she can give me one, or me asking if she will.




I can sympathize with this. My ex made me dislike them too, especially finishing. She made it seem like a chore to do the whole thing, let me know she didn't like it (ick, spit it out), and then demanded reciprocation immediately, even though I would gladly have reciprocated after a bit of recovery from my O. 

It took a while for my wife to be able to get me to relax and give in to her to enjoy a BJ to completion. She pretty much had to tie me down and tell me to relax and let things go. I was always trying to not finish in her mouth, I had to unlearn what my ex taught me!

She won't let me reciprocate on her though! I really wish she would.


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

If my husband would have never asked in the beginning I would be like "Ok, cool!" LOL. I had only attempted it twice with one other guy and the combination of not knowing what to do/expect made me sort of put off by it.

Over time I like to think I have become a pro at it because I can get him finished in about 2 minutes if I wanted LOL. So I have actually grown to really enjoy it, just feeling like I have some sort of **** sucking super power or something LOL. If he never asked now, I would do it anyways. If he told me he was turned off by it, I would tell him to see a psychiatrist


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Hmmm- I'd be sad if he never asked or talked about it..Yes, like we are missing something, only because its ALWAYS been a part of our sex life. 

After a little while of not doing it, I can't wait for it. HJ's are hard for me because I always wind up wanting it in my mouth. I know that might sound crazy but my mouth actually waters when I think about it...we have a lot fun with them. 

However, if our experiences with BJ's were bad or even just blah, I could imagine not being as conditioned to love doing it. 
So I'm sure it comes down to personal experience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrVanilla (Apr 24, 2012)

Almost two decades with my wife, and occasionally, over the years, she would get her face uncomfortably close to my privates and I'd have to reach for her and pull her away. Recently she asked me why, so I had to figure it out: 

It's partly generational and partly past experiences. In high school, the only time you ever heard about that was in stories about 'bad' girls. It wasn't until college when anyone tried do that to me. My girlfriend at the time just 'went for it' and surprised me, and I didn't stop her. I didn't have an issue with it until she asked me to 'return the favor', and I tried... and that wasn't a very good experience for me, and I never wanted
'return the favor' again, so I've never wanted another bj since.

It was difficult, 

but I explained all this to my wife, upon which she said: 
"That's too bad.... because I really enjoy doing that."

If anything, her comment has made this worse. 

In this last year I've found out more about my wife's sexual past than I have ever known in all the years we've been together. Knowing what I know now, it's even more of a turn off than it was before. 

This was not the reaction she was hoping for.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I think I have asked for it only once or twice. I figure, she will when she is in the mood to do it. I know I don't like being asked to go down on her, I will do it when I am in the mood to do it.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Every guy isn't interested in every thing. You find a lot of confusion on TAM because people are walking around with assumptions that "all men", or "all women", like X, Y, and Z.

That's not true. All men don't love a blow job. I've been told that "all men" want to cum on woman's face, and I have zero desire for that, and it feels degrading to me. All people don't like all things. Regardless of the reason, the man's not interested. 

Is the rest of your sex life open, and fulfilling? If so, move along.


donders said:


> Show him.
> 
> Wait til he's fast asleep and then get busy. Might be helpful to restrain him if you expect resistance, silk ties on the wrists and ankles will suffice if you don't have 4 sets of handcuffs available.


So if this were a woman, and she was adamant that she didn't want anal sex, even though you were convinced she'd love it, would the advice be to restrain her in her sleep, and shove a dildo, or your ****, up her ass until she was pleasured into submission?


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I would drop dead from relief! He wants oral sex EVERY time. Good grief! My jaw is friggin' almost stuck open. Ugh.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

donders said:


> I've heard that some guys don't want their d-ck sucked.
> 
> WHERE ARE THESE MEN? I WANT TWO!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

honeysuckle rose said:


> donders said:
> 
> 
> > I've heard that some guys don't want their d-ck sucked.
> ...


You don't suck but you want two guys?

I guess that's just about how many you're equipped to handle..


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

:lol:

Oh no you didn't....


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Well I reckon if he doesn't like it and doesn't want it...you should respect that.
There are many things we can do to each other sexually....we're all different in what turns us on and what turns us off.

There are some things i would NEVER be into...golden showers, anal, giving/receiving pain...
These would be non-negotiable and I would expect my H to accept it even though some people might find these the sexiest things imaginable!

I'm gathering this has been your H's way of thinking all the way through your relationship, so he hasn't done a 'bait and switch' type thing has he?

Does he give you oral? Do you want it from him?

As long as your happy it doesn't matter how you get there as long as no-one gets hurt and it's legal.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

I was always very open to any variety of sex with my STBXW but I rarely asked her for a BJ...even though I wanted them.

She always seemed to avoid those except early in our relationship. In retrospect I guess she used those to hook me and reel me in. After we were married I would request them occasionally but she would show her dissatisfaction so I stopped. I did get them on the very rare occasions but only once to completion in 15 years  

I will always remember that one time where she finished me orally...It was mind blowing! I can see why it is such a turn-on for guys. There is something about, it to me, that it that is almost taboo. It is so sad that this was the only time in my 15 year marriage that I got to experience that. Her wanting to give me that kind of pleasure was a big part of the turn-on…one that I rarely got to experience…so sad.

For 15 years I stayed in great shape, made sure I was clean and trimmed...ever hopeful that she would do that for me. In time, I simply gave up on that. I am so jealous of all the guys out there that get them on a regular basis. So you women out there that want to satisfy your men like that…bless you!

Our sex life was always extremely one sided. It was always all about her. Because I enjoy it, she expected me to go down on her first every time we had sex. I always made sure she got hers...multiple times. It was not uncommon for me to spend over an hour satisfying her first. There were days when my tongue was actually sore.

Over the years I have become quite good at it but she would not volunteer to return the favor. I always thought I liked giving better then receiving but I realize that was how she conditioned me over the years. I guess I was just happy to get any sex at all and didn't mind doing all the work. I always hoped she would want to reciprocate.

I resigned myself to the fact that I was just not one of the fortunate guys and my STBXW just didn't like giving BJ's. Of course you can imagine the anger I felt when I found out about all of the BJ's she was giving her boyfriend while she was cheating on me during the last couple years of our marriage. 

I can only hope that after the divorce is final, I will be fortunate enough to meet someone who wants to please me this way...with or with out asking.


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## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

BJs??? Meh...

As a man, I'd much rather be rubbing pee-pees together.

Before we were married, my wife went to give me a BJ, I stopped her. We had been having sex for months, but that isn't what I like.

She's never tried to do it since spontaneously, and I don't mind. The only times I've ever asked for one was while she was VERY pregnant.

I have no problem giving her oral sex, it's just that I consider a BJ to be like socks for christmas... it's the thought that counts.


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## Aggie (Sep 5, 2012)

donders said:


> I've heard that some guys don't want their d-ck sucked.
> 
> Never understood that one, I prefer it to any form of sex.


Sometimes a BJ overstimulates - for me it tickles a lot. That's not to mention the hair. It works out fine if she starts off slow, though.

To begin with, I didn't really like them because I kept worrying that her mouth was hurting or getting tired. Add that to tickling and it makes it nowhere close to normal intercourse.

She did change my mind, however, and I'm glad that she did. I still don't think they are way better than normal intercourse, but they are fun.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

HuggyBear said:


> BJs??? Meh...
> 
> As a man, I'd much rather be rubbing pee-pees together.


Men don't use words like "pee-pees".


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Every guy isn't interested in every thing. You find a lot of confusion on TAM because people are walking around with assumptions that "all men", or "all women", like X, Y, and Z.
> 
> That's not true. All men don't love a blow job. I've been told that "all men" want to cum on woman's face, and I have zero desire for that, and it feels degrading to me. All people don't like all things. Regardless of the reason, the man's not interested.
> 
> ...


The police would be called to my house shortly after doing that. I would not survive the night LOL. Is there actually a nice way to ask for a BJ from your wife. I have hinted before and she didn't seem to get it. Suck my ****, is not the most loving comment to make though.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

samtravis said:


> We have seen may guys post saying they want more blow jobs from wives. How would you as a wife feel if your husband never asks you to suck his ****. If he feels BJ's are disgraceful. Would you be relieved and glad he is that way. Would you feel something is missing from sex. Would you be tempted to perform oral sex on him.


Hmmm...my husband rarely asks for a BJ, and I am usually quick to initiate one before he can ask. If he were to tell me not to give him one, I would probably laugh, put on my ****tiest outfit, and tease him to the best of my ability....and _then_ not give him one, and see if his resolve doesn't change. 

If, after that, he maintained that he doesn't enjoy them, I would consent to live without giving them to him. They are more for his benefit than mine, after all, and I would hate to force something on him that he doesn't enjoy.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

donders said:


> Men don't use words like "pee-pees".


I think real men use whatever words they damn well please, and don't give a sh*t what anybody else thinks about it.


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

I think maybe it's something that only "bad" girls do. My husband has only asked for one a couple times, but not since we have been married.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I think real men use whatever words they damn well please, and don't give a sh*t what anybody else thinks about it.


I'm thinking you aren't qualified to make that call.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

donders said:


> I'm thinking you aren't qualified to make that call.


Alright girls, you're both pretty.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

donders said:


> I'm thinking you aren't qualified to make that call.


Well I suppose it works to both our advantage that I couldn't give less of a sh*t what you think of my "qualifications".

Yay for taking your own advice!

:smthumbup:


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

jaquen said:


> I couldn't give less of a sh*t what you think of my "qualifications".


If you didn't give less of a sh*t then you wouldn't have responded defensively to my post. In fact, you wouldn't have responded at all.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

donders said:


> If you didn't give less of a sh*t then you wouldn't have responded defensively to my post. In fact, you wouldn't have responded at all.


OK dear.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

I hate being right all the time.


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