# Dressing up - how crazy is crazy?



## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

Hi again all you cool dudes and dudettes. Ok, I'm interested to hear about what sort of dress up goes on with this group. Any of my recent threads have revolved around how to repair stunted action between two people who once had a fun fun sex life that dwindled after kids entered the picture. I've been lucky to have patience, lots of good advice from this thread and and equally caring partner which has improved things significantly since I started posting here. Now I'm interested to move on to other topics and in this case dress-up.

Recently I expressed interest in having my wife wear fishnets and other punk / alternative lingerie - to my delight she obliged and provided some incredible evenings. I have a penchant for edgy lingerie and find the traditional bunny, and fluffy pink lingerie to be a bit gimmicky and old fashioned. With that in mind, I'm wondering if any guys out there have worn costumes etc for their women and how they responded. I'd like to think that I may be able to do something in return for my wife. For the women, I am wondering of there is anything they can think of that might be on-par with the woman wearing lingerie - what would you want you man to do in the bedroom as a surprise. Keep in mind I've done all the romantic candle and karma sutra stuff. My wife leaves few hints about her interests. About all I know is that she appreciates burlesque and artistic expressions of the body. She does not however appreciate raw porn etc. 

Any thought / ideas out there to help home in on something that might excite her. I know the above isn't much to go on, but hopefully some initial feedback could act as a starting point for me to begin surprising her. 

All thoughts and suggestions are of course welcome !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

KendalMintcake said:


> With that in mind, I'm wondering if any guys out there have worn costumes etc for their women and how they responded. I'd like to think that I may be able to do something in return for my wife. For the women, I am wondering of there is anything they can think of that might be on-par with the woman wearing lingerie - what would you want you man to do in the bedroom as a surprise. Keep in mind I've done all the romantic candle and karma sutra stuff. My wife leaves few hints about her interests. About all I know is that she appreciates burlesque and artistic expressions of the body. She does not however appreciate raw porn etc.
> 
> Any thought / ideas out there to help home in on something that might excite her. I know the above isn't much to go on, but hopefully some initial feedback could act as a starting point for me to begin surprising her.
> 
> ...


I'm with you on the traditional stuff...For YEARS since our last son was born in 2008, and I think even before for some years, my DW has come to bed in the most ratty sweats and t-shirt or sweatshirt. So....unattractive and off-putting. In the last few months I've bought her silky traditional PJ's, fleece "juicy" type pants, tight-fitting girl-tshirts. And she's upped it by buying crotchless panties, garters, and stockings. All quite welcome in my world. She has body image issues, so it's baby steps. I think she's hotter than Hades, but she has a hard time accepting that...this will take time for us, but she's trying.

Years ago I used to be a Boy Scout leader for my boys. So one day I threw on my Boy Scout shirt, neckerchief, and baseball cap. Sans pants. And I helped her up to bed and out of her clothes instead of helping her across the street (she aint old, that would have been simply offensive). that was pretty fun.

She didn't much care for my Rastafari wig...does not bear repeating. 

I ordered from Amazon a blindfold, crop, nipple clips, and under-the-bed straps to tie wrists and ankles down. When my DW laid in bed for her usual episode of Jimmy Kimmel, I told her to close her eyes and then I pulled out the straps from under the mattress, then blind folded her...that blew her away. THAT was a crazy, crazy night. FAR cry from normal every-day bedroom stuff.


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## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

Thanks John for your ideas - glad to hear you amazed her. For me I'd be afraid of blindfolding my wife because I know she has CSA issue which mean that any loss of control or threat of loss of control makes her run away. I can tell she is really making a huge effort to enjoy sex and a lot of it seems also a result of my finally figuring out that predictability is important. She needs I know what is going to happen before-hand. The hurdle therefore to get over is not only allowing herself to engage in sex willingly and enthusiastically but also (this is the big one) for her to allow herself to loose control during and so far this seems tricky. Years of CSA have caused her to hold on to control of her body. In the past it was worse from the perspective of holding onto control even before engaging and that meant the ability to deny me. Now she rarely denies as I put together fun plans ahead of time allowing her to mentally be ready but still, once engaged she will not alow herself to fully succumb to the pleasures it can bring - although I see her getting closer. So as you can see, I am quite reluctant to try things that could erode the recent progress we've made. In so many ways, I want to go back in time and stop the perpetrator from her youth - this is the person who not only messed up my wife but also complicated my sex life as collateral damage. 

Thanks again for the input - and good for you with your creativity - it's wonderful to hear men putting their needs aside (specifically the need to simply bang it out) to improve the relationship as a whole. I do believe there are many men who genuinely care and break the stereotype.

What about the ladies? Any women out there who were once a 'prude' (excuse the vernacular) and have found excitement in the bedroom via creative unconventional means? I would love to hear all / any perspectives - thanks!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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