# Anyone experienced this?



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

- Mrs.CuddleBug has a new vehicle under full warranty and her windshield wipers are getting a bit old, so she decided to buy a multi compatible set for her car.


- I never drive her vehicle or tinker with it. This is her baby.


- I have my car dealership swap my windshield wipers for new ones. If I do this myself, I get the same make and swap them over on one of my days off work when its bright out. I've never bought multi compatible wipers because of the headache trying to install them. But that's just me.


- In my mind, since its under warranty and only a few years old, why not have the dealership just swap her new windshield wipers? They'd have the exact make and match for her vehicle and it would take them seconds to swap.


- Instead, Mrs.CuddleBug broke her older set when removing them, can't figure out how to install the new multi compatible set and its now been 1+ hours later.....still can't figure it out. Its about 8pm and pitch black outside. Now she's trying to use crazy glue......now she's getting her dad to come over and help........1.5 hours later......she's done this before by the way and doesn't seem to remember or learn from it.


- Why couldn't she do this on one of her days off work? No pressure, no rush and during the day.


- Why couldn't she very quickly have her car dealership due the swap?


- She saves maybe $50+ for the swap and over 2 years......which is nothing.




- How would you deal with your spouse in this situation?


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Go full retard on her and tell her to never screw with anything in the cars again, that is your domain.

Or just laugh and say "great job, hun!"


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Well, I am a mechanic and wiper blades are not made by the car manufacture. Wiper blades are made by some factory that supplies them to the place of assembly. Many replacement wiper blades are made by Anco, Trico, or some other company and sold under different trade names.

On my cars, wiper blade changes take me 15 minuets. I even buy wiper blade rubber refills for $1 and replace just the rubber looking part, which is sometimes a form of silicone.

Super or crazy glue, I doubt that would work. 

Sorry I can't relate to $50 wiper blades or taking more than 15 minuets to replace them. I did my own 3 cars in less than 30 min.

Where i live we have places that change wiper blades (no labor charges) for the price of the wiper blades.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Annnnd I've just been reminded I have to change DH's brake light bulb. *sigh*

I can't relate, either. I do quite a bit of my own maintenance and repairs. I guess I'd go with humor?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

50$ is a fair bit of money for a 5 min job.

Pull the plastic thing up slide off the wiper. Slide on the new wiper until it clicks.

Maybe theres a youtube video on it.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> - How would you deal with your spouse in this situation?


Divorce. lol

First wife was similar. Couldn't tell her a darn thing. She had to do it herself. Then, it was my fault if it didn't work out. Her dad understood. Her mom did not and blamed me to some extent. 

We eventually divorced, but not for those reasons. 

I just wanted to share a comical story in return for the comical story you posted, that made me laugh. 


Seriously, you can only help pick up the pieces...and maybe try to stay light-hearted and laugh. You could take a video of her the next time and post it to her facebook page or on ewetoob. Who knows? You might get a million or more hits. 

lmao


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Her wipers.
Her choice.
Her insistence.
Her car.
Her time. 
Her problem.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, bit it is!

She'll learn more from the headache of it all and will likely never do it herself again unless she really wants to... The fact this has happened once before tells you she wants to do it herself, for whatever reason.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think your issue isn't so much the wiper blade change, I think you don't like her decision making skills (or lack of). I'm guessing she approaches everything haphazardly correct? 

I know it can be frustrating watching someone struggle do to poor planning, but my approach is as long as I'm not the one that has to save the day let them struggle. Now if your wife were to come in at 9:30 at night and tell you that you need to get out of bed and come fix her mistake then I would get pissed.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

chillymorn69 said:


> Maybe theres a youtube video on it.


There is. Youtube is great for auto repair videos. You learn as much reading the comments as watching the video and get plenty of tips and tricks or at least warnings of what could go wrong.

Last set of wipers I bought also had a package insert that has instructions and diagrams, but sometimes those things are written by people who have clearly never used the product.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

This is one of the few jobs a man is responsible for. She cooks, does the laundry, and cleans. I take care of the vehicles and the house and help her out when I can. 

Why didn't you run to Walmart and take care of it? Have the stealership change your wiper blades??? If she calls her daddy to help, she must not think/know you are not handy or won't help her. What she did is what a single woman does, calls dad to help her when she can't figure it out.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> -..now she's getting her dad to come over and help.....


At this point you shrank 2 feet in his eyes. Good job.

Wiper blades are easy to change. The first side will take you less than 10 minutes to figure out, the second about 30 seconds to repeat. If you two like to have the stealership do all the cheap work at inflated prices, then that's your choice. But to let her mess with it, for hours, this time of year, just makes you a stubborn and unsupportive husband.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I would have offered to help her. If she didn't want the help then I would let her do it herself.

If I found out she paid $50 to have them installed at a dealership, I would have told her to let me do it next time.

I have done it several times. It can be a bit tricky. It might take 15 minutes to do the one side and maybe a minute to do the other side. 

The 14 minutes is spent figuring out what parts you need and what you don't. Since the replacement wiper is built to work with a number of different vehicles, they come with a few parts that may be need or may not be needed based on your car. This takes a bit of figuring.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

This feels like natural consequences to me. I think you should do what you can to help. 

On the scale of poor decisions though, this is really minor

Whether or not she should have spent the $50 depends on your financial situation.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm a female and always did my own stuff (and usually did my husband's stuff too since he did none of that) or paid someone to do it for me. 

This is on her.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Bahahaha! Your story is hilarious. A minute on utube would show her exactly what she should be doing. But personally I'd just sit out there with a beer and sandwich and enjoy the show.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I absolutely cannot believe she was trying to use superglue on a car. But I agree with the others. It's her car, her choices, her mess. You should have grabbed some popcorn.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

It isn't her car. It's "their" car. Doesn't matter if her name is the only one on the title, which is just odd if it is.

I wonder if they are the couple that have separate bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, etc.


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

I don’t think my wife would know where or how to buy wiper blades, much less on how to replace them or even know she needed new ones. I’m shocked when I get into her car and find 1/8 tank of gas, low tire warnings, etc. I handle the cars in our relationship, she’s spoiled, she won’t even pump gas because it’s smelly, or take it to get washed because it takes too long, so when I take it to the gas station or car wash I find what needs fixing or attention and take care of it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I would have changed them, no problem.
But it would have cost her.......


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

I'd say it is totally dependent on circumstances.

Car dealers are very unpleasant places to be. They stink of chemicals and the people in them from end to end are pretentious. I like to avoid them if at all possible. In my case, they are also far off my normal travel paths, but that may not be the case for you.

I will break from my normal calm language and ask "Who the HELL wants to spend a precious day off work ****ing around with car maintenance?" I would consider that moronic behavior.

If replacing wipers is such a zero-time no-brainer for you, then be a good partner, recognize it's not one of her strengths and do it for her instead of making a case about it.

On my last Honda, the dealer's parts department would do blade swaps for free...and they were in a different building than sales and service, so I could avoid the pompous part of the dealership. They were on my way to one of my monthly musical events. I now drive a Nissan product, and the dealership is bundled in one pretentious building, and not convenient to me. So I got universal fit blades from a car parts store and put them on. Both, IMO, are adequate solutions.

BTW, replacing just the rubber part is usually the cheapest way, typically a dollar or two per side, and only possible if you buy the parts from the dealer and have original blades. But it's tedious work threading the new rubber bits in place...which is why I only did it that way when the parts dept was willing to do it for free.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

CuddleBug said:


> - Mrs.CuddleBug has a new vehicle under full warranty and her windshield wipers are getting a bit old, so she decided to buy a multi compatible set for her car.
> 
> - In my mind, since its under warranty and only a few years old, why not have the dealership just swap her new windshield wipers? They'd have the exact make and match for her vehicle and it would take them seconds to swap.


Things like wipers and tires are wear and tear. They're almost never covered by a warranty.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> It isn't her car. It's "their" car. Doesn't matter if her name is the only one on the title, which is just odd if it is.
> 
> I wonder if they are the couple that have separate bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, etc.


Ii was advised to never title a car in both spouces name. If they kill someone in an accident they could take your house in a law suit if its only in one name they can't take your house.

They could sue for half the value of the house but could't force you to sell it to get their money.

Not sure how true it is and it might be state specific. 

No joint bank account for me! Once burned twice learned.
I will handle the money I earn and she can handle the money she earns!


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

I'd help my wife.

If she really wanted to do it herself I would teach her. Otherwise I would just do it for her. Generosity is a cornerstone in good relationship.


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## Template 2 (Feb 16, 2017)

CB-
You guys are pretty independent folks, as I recall. Still, I thinks sometimes it is best to lend a helping hand with stuff like this and discuss the issue once it is solved.

My H fancies himself a handyman, but has absolutely no mechanical aptitude at all. Much of the time he worsens the situation rather than accomplishing the repair. My dad was an engineer and taught me to be self sufficient with respect to most things mechanical. I can work on cars and can do most household repairs.

When we have a broken something, I let my H have first crack at it if he wants to. If he fixes it, great. If he makes it worse, I step in and do the repair. Then we have a talk about what he could have done differently to have a better outcome the first time. When we tell someone about the situation, I make sure to say "we" worked on the fix to protect his feelings. I am pretty much game to work on anything but a water softener and anything involving electrical. I do plumbing, drywall, carpentry, painting, auto maintenance, yard equipment maintenance, etc. If I have difficulty, I look it up on YouTube and if I am still having problems, I go to a real deal hardware store and talk to someone in the department that pertains to the repair I am trying to do. Real often, I take pictures on my phone and show them to the hardware store clerk. They always can help me resolve the situation.

Go on out and give her a hand. She is probably going to be just an inch from nasty, so be prepared. Put the blades on and if she has buggered them up too bad to be used, put the old ones back on. Then have a talk with her about why she had such a poor outcome and give her some options. You could teach her to install them herself (which you probably should do anyway as more than once, I have had a blade clip disengage and the blade start to fly off the frame every time the blade crossed the windshield and if I didn't know how to fix that, my windshield would have been scratched by the blade bracket), you could pledge to take care of the wipers in the future (and do it your way) or you could guide her to one of the multitude of auto part stores whose employees would be happy to change out the blades (or even a battery) right in the parking lot. And a $5 tip for either of these services will get her great service the next time she goes there.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

- I'm not actually angry at Mrs.CuddleBug. It's more frustration she isn't learning and adapting and only repeating.......


- I have no issues helping her "IF" she learns from it. I won't do it for her over and over again.


- It took Mrs.CuddleBug and her dad 3 hours to re-install the old windshield wipers and crazy glue the rubber strip from the new set into place. 3 hours..........yikes.


- I didn't help her this time and I think she finally clued in.


- Its not difficult to go to a local retailer, take the old set you want replaced inside, year and make of the vehicle, look in the catalog and buy that specific set. Not rocket science at all, or just go to the car dealership.


- Anyhoo, I pretty much think she finally learned from this and it actually sunk in......4x later.


- I've always helped her if and when she needs help but sometimes, this is not the best thing to do.


- Yes, I set up our finances separately but joint spousal. We have never fought about money by the way. We are married and independent at the same time. Too many couples with one bank account fighting about you can't spend your money on that or I don't think we need this or that toy, etc. No money fighting between us and same with our credit cards and line of credit. It works very well.


- This is Mrs.CuddleBug's car by the way and not mine. Its her baby and I don't mess with it. I have my own car well.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

It’s not clear to me why she would call her dad for assistance instead of just coming in the house and asking you.

Did she ask you for help and you said no? Or is she too intimidated to ask you for help? Or does she think you don’t know how to do it since you pay the dealership to change yours?

I don’t understand why Pops came over...


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

- Mrs.CuddleBug is very close with her parents.


- I decided this time not to help her because this has happened at least 4x that I can remember....


- She knows I'll always help her but this time, no more. Very frustrating she isn't learning, remembering and adapting. Like a stuck record.....but I think she finally got it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

- I normally never read Mrs.CuddleBug's email but I did glance this time and her parents are all upset that I didn't help her.........wow. She's 40 now and not 16......


- I take full responsibility for my car, maintenance and emergency items. She only seems to use her car to and from work and doesn't really take care of it.


- Mrs.CuddleBug and her parents are what I call, very sensitive people. You cannot speak your mind or be politically incorrect or say anything racist, etc. Nothing purposefully hateful, only joking, but you just can't speak your mind or they will get easily upset. I am the opposite of this, I do speak my mind, not politically correct and I call it as I see it.


- If I would of helped her yet again, she wouldn't of finally clued in, don't mess with your windshield wipers and get it done at her dealership.


- I will always help her if she needs help but I will not do it for her again and again and she isn't learning or getting it.


- A few times she borrowed emergency items I have in my car. She forgot to return them, so when I actually needed them, they're missing and I was screwed. You can imagine I got upset and she no longer borrows my cars emergency items and I made her actually buy her own things.


- If someone is hungry, do you just feed them over and over again, or do you teach them how to fish? I am teaching Mrs.CuddleBug how to fish......that makes me insensitive and bad.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Hi CB,

I have followed most/all of your threads on this site for several years. Reading through this one, what really jumps out from the screen is, “If Mrs. CB doesn’t do it my way, it’s WRONG.”

And also, I’m detecting quite a bit of resentment leaching out towards Mrs. CB and her entire family. It’s really not hard to see that this isn’t about windshield wipers at all — it’s really about an undercurrent of resentment and anger at the way you perceive her to be lazy, a bit daffy, and dare I say overweight? Not to mention your resentment over your sex life.

Honestly, if my SO decided to change his windshield wipers in the pitch black night, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. His problem, not mine. And if he started super gluing them on, I’d probably chuckle to myself and be curious to see if it actually WORKED. Who cares how he decides to fix them?

The point is, the real issue here is your _resentment_, and what I really believe to be basic incompatibility. So you are trying to control little things like windshield wipers since you can’t control bigger things like sex, weight, and compatibility.

Just my 2 cents...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I'm an independent person so my values obviously color my response.

My car is MY car. My husband can drive it any time, but I keep it maintained. If I really can't do something, it goes to the garage. He maintains his vehicles. 

I always keep extra blades in my trunk because one winter they broke while I was on the road in heavy, freezing rain and my husband had to deliver a new set. Thankfully he was around.

Since then, I've always bought the same blades (they last ~3 years as long as I treat them nicely) so I know how to install them.

My point is, if someone wants to do something themselves, leave them to it. That's how they learn. If they ask for help, then you can help.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

I'd put a VAR in the car. She's totally cheating on you. It's probably all a ploy so that she can get the car to her special "mechanic". Are you going to just be her car guy cuckold? Do a 180!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Really don't understand what you want to "deal with". She made a decision (perhaps impatience driven) to try and do it herself. She most certainly has learned some kind of lesson from that. Why do you feel you need to "do something about it". Do you never get impatient and have you never screwed something like this up. If not, I will send you a packaged jar that is impossible to open - have a go at that and when you break the jar, decide what your wife should do about you.

Take it easy man.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> There is. Youtube is great for auto repair videos. You learn as much reading the comments as watching the video and get plenty of tips and tricks or at least warnings of what could go wrong.
> 
> Last set of wipers I bought also had a package insert that has instructions and diagrams, but* sometimes those things are written by people who have clearly never used the product.*


Don't worry! I know what a lug wrench is dad! 

https://youtu.be/K_Rkahsi7c8

lol


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

DUDE, 
It's your wife. 

I'll reserve the rest of my comment to save myself from the hammer.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

CuddleBug, I do ALL of the house and car maintenance. My W has yet to put gas in her car, well maybe she did twice in almost 50 years.

Do I fix everything when she asks me to-No,but it eventually gets done based on how serious I think the need is.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Hi CB,
> 
> I have followed most/all of your threads on this site for several years. Reading through this one, what really jumps out from the screen is, “If Mrs. CB doesn’t do it my way, it’s WRONG.”
> 
> ...



- In this situation, I am correct. Mrs.CuddleBug doesn't know what she's doing, asks for my help, I helped her the first time and after that I told her go to the car dealership or get the exact year and make from a local hardware store. This way, they would fit perfectly. This is not do it my way. This is the correct way. If she chooses in the end not to listen, she is on her own and if it takes her 3 hours, when it should take minutes, that proves my point.


- But yah, I should of got a bag of popcorn and watched. Of course I wouldn't do that......heh heh.


- I want the best for Mrs.CuddleBug, period. I am the one to research and do things correctly. I get advice from men and women. I adapt and change quickly. You could say Mrs.CuddleBug is the opposite. If I don't take control and get things done, she wont do it either. Someone has to be the leader, take the initiative and get things done and that is me. This is just not who Mrs.CuddleBug is as a person. I get things done and I don't sit and wait for someone to do it for me. End result is we have accomplished a lot in a short time period versus nothing would be happening otherwise.


- There's always one person who is the get things done and the other who puts it off unless someone helps them.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Handy said:


> CuddleBug, I do ALL of the house and car maintenance. My W has yet to put gas in her car, well maybe she did twice in almost 50 years.
> 
> Do I fix everything when she asks me to-No,but it eventually gets done based on how serious I think the need is.




- I work full time, and probably do about 75% of the inside chores and all the outside chores. I also pay the bills early and grocery shop and make sure our cat is taken care of.


- Today after work, whites and darks are done, recycling and garbage done, dishwasher is done, and I bought a new steak knife set to replace our older set which is starting to finally rust.


- Just a normal day for me, every day, every week etc.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

CuddleBug said:


> Handy said:
> 
> 
> > CuddleBug, I do ALL of the house and car maintenance. My W has yet to put gas in her car, well maybe she did twice in almost 50 years.
> ...


WTF does she do????


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> DUDE,
> It's your wife.
> 
> I'll reserve the rest of my contact to save myself from the hammer.




- I helped her the first time, then gave my advice which works. She decided in the end to repeat what she did last time, so I let her muddle on her own.


- If I had a company, I show someone how to do something, they chose in the end to do it their way and take way too long and struggle, they wouldn't last too long as an employee.


- Either you learn from someone who knows what they're doing or you ignore that advice and its all on you.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Livvie said:


> WTF does she do????



- Mrs.CuddleBug works full time as well. She'll dust, sweep the floors and clean the bathrooms. That's her domain and she does a great job, so I stay out.


- I like to do these daily chores to help around the place and she does appreciate this and gets me surprise dinners.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Satya said:


> I'm an independent person so my values obviously color my response.
> 
> My car is MY car. My husband can drive it any time, but I keep it maintained. If I really can't do something, it goes to the garage. He maintains his vehicles.
> 
> ...



- Exactly. Well said.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

For $60 the mechanic puts new wipers on my car, for such a small amount there is no way I would waste my time to DIY something like this. 

But yeah, her car, her choice.


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## Limerantic (Jan 16, 2018)

She sounds like a very independent woman. Let her get on with it. It's not really affecting you is it?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Crazy glue? Now, that is crazy. And her father should not encourage her craziness.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm honestly in awe that people pay to replace wiper blades. I didn't know this was actually a thing.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

dubsey said:


> I'm honestly in awe that people pay to replace wiper blades. I didn't know this was actually a thing.


In the UK many places offer blade replacement as a free service. You buy the blades, they fit them for free.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

CuddleBug said:


> - How would you deal with your spouse in this situation?


Ignore him.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> In the UK many places offer blade replacement as a free service. You buy the blades, they fit them for free.


Sure, I think autozone does that here as well, new battery as well, but, I just, I guess I just had assumed it was one of those things everyone just did, like putting petrol in the car.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

dubsey said:


> I'm honestly in awe that people pay to replace wiper blades. I didn't know this was actually a thing.


Lol well I have never heard of anyone doing this job themselves, must be an American thing. The only thing I ever do with my car is to put petrol in, zero interest in doing maintenance on it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Mrs.CuddleBug finally got it.


She actually took my advice after many many years, either go to a retail outlet and order her specific windshield wiper set, so its a simple swap over which she can do herself or go to her car dealership.


Before she would listen to me, but then do what she wanted and buy a cheap compatible set that don't fit properly and waste 1 to 3 hours trying to install them..........We have a retail store that you can order and buy specific windshield wiper sets for each make of vehicle (15 minute drive away).


By me not helping her, she finally got it.


Some people learn from others and adapt quickly (one time) and others take multiple times for some odd reason. 


Maybe they don't like being told what to do? 


Maybe they want to learn it all on their own? 


Who knows?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

MrsHolland said:


> Lol well I have never heard of anyone doing this job themselves, *must be an American thing*. The only thing I ever do with my car is to put petrol in, zero interest in doing maintenance on it.


I live in the Motor City. No joke, "mechanics garage" (meaning it is large, with plenty of lighting, heat source, and has a vent for auto exhaust at minimum) is a serious real estate selling point and houses with one sell for more, faster. Around here, you shame yourself and your family if you don't know at least the basics of auto diagnostics and repair. :grin2:


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> I live in the Motor City. No joke, "mechanics garage" (meaning it is large, with plenty of lighting, heat source, and has a vent for auto exhaust at minimum) is a serious real estate selling point and houses with one sell for more, faster. Around here, you shame yourself and your family if you don't know at least the basics of auto diagnostics and repair. :grin2:


That is interesting, never knew such a thing existed. I don't know anyone that would DIY car maintenance, actually it would probably void the insurance anyway.

I drive a hybrid so would never let anyone but a qualified professional touch it.


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