# Difference in film and real life.



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

One thing that people here always say about porn is that it is unrealistic and not what really happens in the bedroom. What is it that people think is so different and unrealistic? 

I'm excluding videos of sbdm, group sex, etc. I'm just talking about a video that basically shows a man and woman in the bedroom together. 

I've had my own experiences, and I've seen a few videos, but I obviously don't see other people in their personal lives. So, what is so unrealistic? It seems to depict the basics of the situation to me.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

southbound said:


> One thing that people here always say about porn is that it is unrealistic and not what really happens in the bedroom. What is it that people think is so different and unrealistic?
> 
> I'm excluding videos of sbdm, group sex, etc. I'm just talking about a video that basically shows a man and woman in the bedroom together.
> 
> I've had my own experiences, and I've seen a few videos, but I obviously don't see other people in their personal lives. So, what is so unrealistic? It seems to depict the basics of the situation to me.


Homemade or amateur porn is more realistic. The produced porn (professional) is unrealistic in several ways:

1) It's not real. The actresses aren't really into it for the most part. Orgasms are faked. Positions are often not comfortable, at least for the females (arching your back and gazing wantingly at your lover as he does you doggy style may be fun on film, but I gather it's really quite painful). This is according to porn star interviews I have read. You can look these up online. 

2) Women do things on film that MOST women don't do. Taking a man's ejaculate and rubbing it all over her face or breasts, or licking it off of her fingers... Yeah, not so much in reality. Not that some women won't do these things, but most don't. 

3) It creates unrealistic expectations. Women are made up to hide flaws such as bruises, pimples, etc. Men are generally larger (penis) than most men. I have heard that if you are less than 9 inches they won't even consider you for porn. Regardless of how big YOU may be, most men are between 5 and 7 inches, with the majority between 5 and 6 inches. 

4) it's just too dang scripted. Every angle, every position, every orgasm is written into the script. 

5) This last part is kind of hard to put into words. It just gives people the idea that all women are bisexual and into kinky sex. The reality is that most women are much more "normal" and not into swinging, gangbangs, multiple facials, sex with strangers, gloryholes, etc. It just really leads to a warped sense of reality. 

Now, with all that being said, if the viewer watches KNOWING it's just actors acting, it can be stimulating. Just don't go into it thinking all of that is normal. 

Believe it or not, not all women are walking around thirsting for a BBC gangbang!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Not a real big fan of porn in general, but I totally agree that the amateur genre is far more realistic to the real deal!*


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

arbitrator said:


> *Not a real big fan of porn in general, but I totally agree that the amateur genre is far more realistic to the real deal!*


I'm not a big fan either and haven't seen very many. Perhaps what I saw was the amateur films.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Some amateur porn is realistic - including some amateur BDSM. Some is really just "labeled" amateur but is as unrealistic as most pro porn. 

In pro porn it seems obvious that the women are faking, and that sexual positions are chosen entirely for visual effect, not for pleasure. Things are scripted, so with film edits, everything happens at exactly the planned time.

Pro porn rarely shows any foreplay. Just seconds from fully clothed to intercourse or other sexual activity. There is generally no "chemistry" shown, just two people following a script mechanically while making noises.

I'm not interested in almost any pro porn. It feels like watching to mechanical dolls go at it.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think when people refer to porn as unrealistic it's more about the scenarios than the physical act of sex. I remember when I was young going to a bachelor party and watching a porn movie where this guy (who was only in a towel) asked these two pretty young girls if they wanted a piece of gum. When they said yes he dropped the gum at his feet and when they bent down to get it he dropped his towel waving his unit in their faces, so of coarse they had to put it in their mouths! For years after that it was a running joke with us about making sure we had gum when we would go bar hopping.

When was the last time you got laid for a piece of gum? As far as the physical act of sex there's nothing they could put in a porn movie that someone isn't doing at home, actually there's things people are doing at home I wouldn't ever WANT to see in a porn movie. I have a friend who is an emergency room physician, the stories he has told me of sexual stunts that have landed people in the hospital are disgusting.

In porn movies every scenario ends in sex, that's what makes it unrealistic, real life isn't like that.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

southbound said:


> I'm not a big fan either and haven't seen very many. Perhaps what I saw was the amateur films.


In my opinion it gives women a completely unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will call to your house.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> In my opinion it gives women a completely unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will call to your house.


And what said plumber is going to look like.....


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

In real life when someone catches an elbow in the nose, you don't get to edit it out.

Also, you don't get to have a training montage.


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## Edo Edo (Feb 21, 2017)

I first learned that porn was not like real life a long time ago at 18, when I had a summer job as a pizza delivery guy. None of the attractive female customers answered the door wearing only a kimono, all my tips were paid in cash, and they never EVER asked for sausage with their pizza...

My wife and I used to watch porn together, mostly just for fun or to get us turned on. Occasionally the actors/actresses would do something that I'd want to try and she'd say "no" (except for that one time she said yes, and it was AWESOME! But that was a one time thing. Well, it was a one time thing. Sometimes on my birthday, father's day or Xmas if I remember about it and she's in a real good mood...). The point is that it's a movie, which means it's nature is fictional. And the most fictional part about it the overall circumstances behind why these people were having sex in the first place. You would think EVERY secretary secretly wants to have sex with their boss, every young woman wants to suck/screw their way out of a speeding ticket, and no farmer's daughter goes untouched ever. Apart from the unrealistic sexual acts themselves, it starts to set odd social interaction standards/expectations if you watch too much...

But if you approach porn for the fiction it's meant to be, it can be a very enjoyable experience for both partners...


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

There's also that little fiction that every woman orgasms wildly from nothing more than hard-pounding PIV sex. Porn tends to ignore that most women need a little warm up, some foreplay, and some clitoral stimulation. The truth is that a fair percentage of the female population cannot orgasm at all if only penetrative sex is involved. 

In my experience, young men who learn about sex mostly from watching porn may have a rather alarming tendency to imagine there's something defective with a woman who can't orgasm from porn-style sex. All the "other stuff" can seem like too much work, when it's obvious - to them - that a "real" woman would be screaming in ecstasy from the sort of cold-start hard pounding they're used to seeing on the screen.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

A friend of mine and I did pizza delivery in high school. He was extremely attractive - he is now a fairly well known TV personality. He *did* get invited in by a couple of college girls once when he delivered to their dorm - and turned them down. He was constantly being hit on by women. 

Having seen women around him, I think the story is true - though of course its hard to tell. 






Edo Edo said:


> I first learned that porn was not like real life a long time ago at 18, when I had a summer job as a pizza delivery guy. None of the attractive female customers answered the door wearing only a kimono, all my tips were paid in cash, and they never EVER asked for sausage with their pizza...
> snip


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

They never show the parts where the woman refuses.


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## Edo Edo (Feb 21, 2017)

uhtred said:


> A friend of mine and I did pizza delivery in high school. He was extremely attractive - he is now a fairly well known TV personality. He *did* get invited in by a couple of college girls once when he delivered to their dorm - and turned them down. He was constantly being hit on by women.
> 
> Having seen women around him, I think the story is true - though of course its hard to tell.



That was the variable working against me. Any women close in age / appearance to college were already with a guy when I got to the door. You're friend was lucky, though at that age, I'm not sure I would have been able to avoid the temptation. The most deviant thing I was ever offered that summer was a beer or bong hit before I left. I didn't accept either because I was too nervous to have it on my breath upon returning to the restaurant...


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

southbound said:


> What is it that people think is so different and unrealistic?


In porn the physical aspect is often very real, but the emotional aspect is only pretend. In real life the emotional aspect of intimacy is far more important than the physical. 

This is also why women tend to gravitate to romance novels as the written word can capture poetic emotions a little better than an amateur film crew crammed in the back of a van for thirty minutes that has probably not had lunch yet.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

jb02157 said:


> They never show the parts where the woman refuses.


Try "denial" and you will see a whole section of porn devoted that just that!


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

southbound said:


> One thing that people here always say about porn is that it is unrealistic and not what really happens in the bedroom. What is it that people think is so different and unrealistic?
> 
> I'm excluding videos of sbdm, group sex, etc. I'm just talking about a video that basically shows a man and woman in the bedroom together.
> 
> I've had my own experiences, and I've seen a few videos, but I obviously don't see other people in their personal lives. So, what is so unrealistic? It seems to depict the basics of the situation to me.


LOL. Where do I *begin*?

For starters, porn is made for men - so let's get that said right up front.

Therefore, it caters primarily to _their_ pleasure. There's usually little to no foreplay for women - unlike the 7 minute BJ the guy always gets before it's off to the races and he's pounding her in every orifice the woman owns.

Of course, he usually has to spit on her genitals because she's DRY AS A BONE. Last time I checked, if you have to spit on someone's genitals because they're dryer than the Sahara Dessert, then you *ain't* doing your job.

I've read interviews with female porn stars who claim they use plastic syringes (think turkey baster) to inject saline solution or plain water into their vaginas and then 'squirt' it out on camera to fake a G-spot orgasm (golly, I would have thought no foreplay and lots of dry pounding would have been _enough_ so she wouldn't *have *to fake it.) :rofl::rofl:

Then, of course, there's the constant fake moans and groans while she looks right into the camera. Yup, nuthin' fake about that.

I've been friends for about 35 years with a guy who makes independent films. He's always hoping to break through at Sundance or other relevant film festivals and make his mark, but until then, he takes whatever job he can to pay the bills. He worked with a TV crew one time for a Dr Phil reality house series and became good friends with another tech who had a lot of experience working behind the camera on porn films. This guy told my friend that there'd they be - on the porn set with the naked couple sweating all over the sheets and moaning and groaning and changing positions every 2 minutes and suddenly they'd call "cut for lunch" and these two would immediately jump right off each other, put their robes on, and start chatting and laughing with others on the set. To a lot of them, it's an acting job and nothing more.

Amateur porn is a different story. But the commercial stuff? Fake as fake can be.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I wonder why pro-porn is so bad. Most of the comments here seem to suggest that its generally much less interesting than real amateur stuff. 

Did the industry somehow get focused on check-boxes for specific acts performed rather than showing any sort of passion?


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## Robbie1234 (Feb 8, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> In my opinion it gives women a completely unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will call to your house.


You used to be an electrician,there not too easy to get a hold of when you need one urgently.Did you ever get lucky?


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Rowan said:


> And what said plumber is going to look like.....


They probably tried to be realistic but found that when their "plumber stud" had a gut hanging over the front of his jeans and a deep hairy butt crack peeking out the back they didn't sell many copies. :smile2:


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

badsanta said:


> Try "denial" and you will see a whole section of porn devoted that just that!


You learn something every day. I thought that was a river in Egypt. :grin2:


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## AlwaysIgnored (Jun 13, 2017)

Porn takes the place of real sex and ruins marriages. It's evil and I'm tired of people justifying it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Robbie1234 said:


> You used to be an electrician,there not too easy to get a hold of when you need one urgently.Did you ever get lucky?


Yeah I got lucky two years into my apprenticeship.
I got a new job.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

For some people. For others its just entertainment on the side, or something that couples watch together.

For some is a refuge when they are constantly turned down by their partners - an alternative to divorce.




AlwaysIgnored said:


> Porn takes the place of real sex and ruins marriages. It's evil and I'm tired of people justifying it.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. Where do I *begin*?
> 
> For starters, porn is made for men - so let's get that said right up front.
> 
> ...


:surprise::surprise:

Fake? Alll these years its been fake?


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

But seriously I think the biggest difference between real life and at least modern "film" is that guys dont slather their ****s with lidocaine in real life and jackhammer away for 20 straight minutes with a numb rod.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

WonkyNinja said:


> They probably tried to be realistic but found that when their "plumber stud" had a gut hanging over the front of his jeans and a deep hairy butt crack peeking out the back they didn't sell many copies. :smile2:


Two friends of mine set up a pizza/takeout food delivery business while in college and one of them told me he never got offered any sex after two years delivering food.
His girlfriend did though.😜


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

There is no difference. I always have 15 minute orgasms.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

It's unrealistic based on what you believe and what you like. I work with a guy who has the gang bang, wife swap, cuckold etc parties. Yes, there are men who like to watch their women get screwed by other men, other women and different races. There are women who do the exact same thing. Porn is also a niche market now, unlike how it was back in the day. So, porn is no longer just for men.

I think being unrealistic for many means size, length, multiple orgasms, ease and duration. IMO it can build up unrealistic expectations for some men and women in the bedroom.


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