# Need a new nomenclature "Judged Spouse"



## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

My wife judges me all the damn time. Did it for years while I would avoid her to "be myself". My teenage daughters were telling me the new Iphone update has a middle finger emoji this morning. They told me this because they know I'll use it. I said "Good to know, sometimes you do have to use "the finger". My wife started barking at me in front of the girls, then later when I brought up her judging, she said "you are either worldly or you are standing for God!". I think the judging is a deal breaker, I'd rather be betrayed and I'm not joking. DUDE


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

you should have given her the finger


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## CatJayBird (Oct 5, 2015)

I constantly feel as if I'm being judged by my H. It's a horrible horrible feeling. When I bring it up, I always get "why can't I have my opinions....you are "free" to have yours". Having opinions on something and judging people are two completely different things IMO. I feel like I can never do "right" in his eyes. Come to think of it, he frequently says these judgmental things in front of the kids as well... Sorry you are dealing with that mess...


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## Workathome (Aug 30, 2014)

Why do you stay with her?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Workathome said:


> Why do you stay with her?


Well, like most on here there are kids involved. Also, some of the issues I've just now figured out the root cause. That said, I'm making my plans by the day...DUDE


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## Workathome (Aug 30, 2014)

Dude007 said:


> Well, like most on here there are kids involved. Also, some of the issues I've just now figured out the root cause. That said, I'm making my plans by the day...DUDE


The fact that kids are involved is the best reason to get away from your wife. The dynamics you are modeling for your kids will lead to them repeating the same mistakes.

I wish you well in your plans.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

No, you wouldn't rather be betrayed.

Its sounding like you two have a mutual lack of respect for one another. I'm sorry about that. Is counseling an option, to learn to communicate in less antagonistic ways?


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

They already have it:

Victim


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Pluto2 said:


> No, you wouldn't rather be betrayed.
> 
> Its sounding like you two have a mutual lack of respect for one another. I'm sorry about that. Is counseling an option, to learn to communicate in less antagonistic ways?


We are in counseling. We were doing it weekly. It looks like we will be back to weekly. DUDE


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

And you let her talk and treat you like this because....?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

snerg said:


> And you let her talk and treat you like this because....?


Oh I called her out on it...Its no. 1 issue for our next counseling session. DUDE


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

Dude007 said:


> My wife judges me all the damn time. Did it for years while I would avoid her to "be myself". My teenage daughters were telling me the new Iphone update has a middle finger emoji this morning. They told me this because they know I'll use it. I said "Good to know, sometimes you do have to use "the finger". My wife started barking at me in front of the girls, then later when I brought up her judging, she said "you are either worldly or you are standing for God!". I think the judging is a deal breaker, I'd rather be betrayed and I'm not joking. DUDE


If she wants to get all Christiany, remind her of Ephesians 5:22-24



> 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


Then tell her to stfu.


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## FlaGirl (Nov 10, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> My wife judges me all the damn time. Did it for years while I would avoid her to "be myself". My teenage daughters were telling me the new Iphone update has a middle finger emoji this morning. They told me this because they know I'll use it. I said "Good to know, sometimes you do have to use "the finger". My wife started barking at me in front of the girls, then later when I brought up her judging, she said "you are either worldly or you are standing for God!". I think the judging is a deal breaker, I'd rather be betrayed and I'm not joking. DUDE


I feel this all the time as well. My "well meaning husband" is always trying to "Correct" me. Like if I swear or say something in front of the kids he thinks is inappropriate. Well, they are 21 & 19, hello. I try to be a MOM but they are also adults. I always kind of feel like he thinks he is smarter than me,he has that Engineer mind, and no matter what the hell I say, I swear he has to come back with a "Yeh BUT" response. Can you not just throw me a damn bone once in a while? UGH!!!


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