# Rant rant rant!!



## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I am FUMING right now.. and as I have no one else to talk to except my kids.. i thought best to bring it here.

At 8:30 this morning the water company showed up to disconnect my water. We have no money.. NOTHING.. until friday, pay day. I have 3 dollars in my purse, and since my H closed all of our accounts when I threatened to leave, I can't even post date a check or use a debit card. 

2 weeks ago when he got paid he told me he paid this bill. When they disconnected our water this morning I called him at work. Turns out he spent that money on a night at the *strip club.* Thats right.. he fessed up!... but meanwhile our kids can't take baths.. I cant even cook meals!! I'm so friggin p*ssed right now, I could just leave and never look back.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Is there anything of his you can PAWN to get enough money to turn the water back on? 

Sell it, pawn it, whatever. Then when he finds out, just be sad (not angry) oh, sorry honey, I needed to give the kids a bath. Here's the pawn ticket


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

only thing I have worth pawning is his xbox 360.. and WOW I can not even imagine the fireworks when he came home tonight! .... Last time he went on a "spending binge" I got a title loan on his pick up (it's in my name) .. and we are still paying on that... I don't know if I could even get enough for his xbox to pay and get it turned back on... 

I may need to borrow some of your china!


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Sell the Xbox on craigs list then. Do NOT let him get away scott free with this. 

It's his own dang fault the water is off. Are you just going to do without water till Friday?

Perhaps the neighbors would let you use their hose to wash the kids and do dishes?

HE washes the kids and does dishes till it gets back on.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

yeah I'd be mad too... mad enough to dump that L O S E R !

you mean he is a grown man who plays with an x box? and he's broke too?
going to strip clubs and playing video games? what is he a freakin' BOY ? Kid?
sheshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !

ha... double loser, he has no money and sure makes bad, bad choices..
No wonder you want to throw plates at him...

how awful he is


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

yep, he is a loser, and you can tell him I said that....

unbelievable,


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

What did you do?


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I am very sorry. What did your lawyer say? Is going to the shelter an option?


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

Ok just an update... 

Water is still off.. I have gone over to my best friends house and filled up empty milk gallons with water for us.

I am sittin here looking at his xbox contemplating pawning yet. But if I were to do that he would flip out and say "we could pawn off your damn computer." 

I use the computer for my school work, so It's not an option. But he isn't allowed on it, so it p*sses him off when I am on it.

I told my friend I want to just leave, she left her H five years ago. Took her kids to a shelter. The only problem with a shelter is, after a week you have to find somewhere to go if your not being extremely abused. Where would I go after a week????

I haven't spoken to the attorney again, because any more advise, or whatever through him, I would need to put down a retainer fee. I have nothing  

I have been looking for jobs, but this economy is horrible.. there is nothing out there hiring.. unless i want to sign up for the army!


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Free medical care for life with the army... that's an option.

Call up another atty, they ALL give you free advice the first time. When I was going thru my divorce in 2005 I called about 10 of them and got all sorts of advice. 

Did you ask him what he's going to do about the water?


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

Yeah, he said will have to wait until monday. He gets paid tomorrow, but the utility company is closed by the time he gets off work and cashes his check. So I guess he is planning on keeping the water off til monday? UGH... 

My kids are going nuts today... I think I am just frustrated with the whole situation here, and its rubbing off on them. They are constantly screaming and yelling.. I just want to bawl and hit the wall hysterically.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

((((HUGS))))

Ok... time to get out and do something. anything. 

Go for a drive, a walk, the neighbors. make a play fort in the living room and pretend you are camping in the desert.. (no water, remember?)

--- hands you a plate --- 

Go get rid of that xobox! Or at least hold the power cord hostage.


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## Roger136913 (Apr 29, 2009)

Have him cash his check on his lunch break and pay the water company....

I also agree sell the Xbox!!!!!!! Unless he plays with the children? If not sell it.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

What did you end up doing?


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I pawned his xbox and the video camera to pay for the water bill... told him if he wasn't going to be a responsible adult.. someone around here had to be  

He was P*SSED!! Called me every name in the book.. but hey my kids have running water now. 

Next weekend my kid's are going out of town for a week with my parents. I have scheduled this time to meet with some people who may be able to donate me money to move out. Because the situation here is getting worse.. soon we will be going through this with all our utilities. I can't have my kids living in an unstable environment like this.

I had a job interview this morning.. which went GREAT. Should get a call from them next week.. so *cross fingers*. H has no idea about this possible job.. and as far as I'm concerned he doesn't need to know  Just like I don't need to know where our money goes.....


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Sufficiently Breathless said:


> Ok just an update...
> 
> Water is still off.. I have gone over to my best friends house and filled up empty milk gallons with water for us.
> 
> ...


The military is a good idea and your best option. I'd do it.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

preso said:


> yeah I'd be mad too... mad enough to dump that L O S E R !
> 
> you mean he is a grown man who plays with an x box? and he's broke too?
> going to strip clubs and playing video games? what is he a freakin' BOY ? Kid?
> ...



First and foremost, this man is a loser.

However, I'm a grown man who plays video games. 

I play some games with my kids, I play some games with my wife, I play some games just myself when my kids are in bed and my wife is either out with her friends or is watching one of her girly shows like Grey's Anatomy.

Just because a grown man plays an XBox doesn't make him.

I have a great job, make enough money so my wife can be a stay at home mom, and if video games is my hobby, oh well. Like my wife says if someone questions it "him playing his XBox is better than him going to bars or strip clubs".


Edit: Glad you sold his XBox, the loser deserved it.


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I probably would have no problem with the xbox if he played it with the kids.. or if I even knew how to play the dang thing. But from the minute he gets home from work until he goes to bed.. if hes not looking at porn, at the strip club, or watching sports center, hes on the xbox. 

He tried to get me to get it out of pawn today, I refused, said we didn't have the money and we have other bills to pay, he threw a fit worse than my 4 year old!! 

In the mean time I'm waiting to hear about the job I interviewed for *crossing fingers*

I also talked to social services to see about getting housing assistance for me and my children. They said they can't help me until I actually leave him, and even then I can't get housing assistance. I have to be put on a waiting list to recieve support, and the way the economy is, the waiting list is 3 years! NO WAY I AM GONNA WAIT THAT LONG! the last 7 years living like this has been bad enough.

I really don't know what to do.. so here I sit PRAYING (very hard) for a job to come through.. I need it badly! Anyone need an office assistant? lol


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## tofindme (Jun 1, 2009)

Good luck with the job :smthumbup: I just wanted to say heads up hun you can do it !


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Breathless.. i do 

Come move to San Antonio and we'll make a mint. lol


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## Captiosus (May 25, 2009)

preso said:


> you mean he is a grown man who plays with an x box?


Excuse me?

I'm a grown man. I play xbox. I shoot pool. I play bass guitar. I listen to music. I guess this makes me a "boy".

Of course, unlike Breathless' jerk of a husband, I also take care of all the finances in the household (by that I mean I'm the family 'accountant', my wife doesn't want any part of that stress).

This next line is probably going to start a firestorm, but frankly, I think it needs to be said:

I find it funny that "the only thing of value" was the xbox, yet Breathless can post on these forums. Which means she has internet access. Internet access is (gasp) an _extravagance_ when compared to the basic necessities of food, water, clothing, and shelter. Assuming she has broadband, that's 34.99-49.99 a month (generally speaking). If having internet for schooling takes precedence over having running water in her house, the problem isn't _just_ the husband.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Captiosus said:


> Excuse me?
> 
> I'm a grown man. I play xbox. I shoot pool. I play bass guitar. I listen to music. I guess this makes me a "boy".
> 
> ...


It isn't going to start a firestorm, your response only indicates you need stop taking personal offense. Our home, too, has an XBox, my sons use it. I wish I could throw it out the window as IMMATURE boys and men don't know how to prioritize TIME. You apparently KNOW how to manage your time, so why bother taking it personally??? 

The woman said she uses the computer for SCHOOL I believe, and that means she has to have internet as she is IMPROVING her lot in life and that of her FAMILY in order to make MONEY come in the house.


Her deadbeat, immature spouse, on the other hand is using money for what was it....oh, strip clubs? And you compare her responsible behavior of going to school with HIS???

Oh, please. I think you owe her an apology for your obviously premature and thoughtless comment made while licking your ego wounds.
Frankly, if I were in HER shoes I'd have sold the XBOX to buy new locks for the freaking doors.


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

Yes, I have a computer, which I considered pawning as well.. but as I use it for school mostly.. and just recently on this forum, I see no issue with the computer and our marriage, compared to his pornography and sex addiction as well as his way to use the xbox to ignore his family completely. The issues are two very seperate things. 

If my use of the computer were effecting our marriage, or causing any type of issue with in our marriage I would gladly be rid of it if he asked.. however when I asked him to stop his porn use, stop going to strip clubs, stop joining BDSM clubs, and to stop playing the xbox and spend time working on his family or I would leave him.. he ignored the situation and kept doing what he wanted. Case closed, end of story.. xbox gone to pay the bills...

If I could have gotten money for his vast collection of porn I would have sold that too... next time it will be his pick up truck (that he never drives).. and I won't feel a damn bit guilty about that either. He has a FAMILY that he has been ignoring for years to feed his own selfish addictions... No one can tell me what I did was wrong.. I stand behind selling any of his crap one hundered and ninety percent. Especially when he is throwing 70 percent of his income away on his addictions monthly..


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## Roger136913 (Apr 29, 2009)

SB

I agree with you 100%......


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Me too SB... what is he doing these days? Are you guys talking at all?


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I just got back from a weekend with my family. Cousin's wedding. H did not go. Everyone asked where he was I just said he had to work this weekend and didn't come. Didn't want my issues to be the spotlight over my cousins wedding.

We are not speaking. Well, I'm not. H texted me a few times while I was with my family, asked how the kids and I were doing. I texted back the kids are fine. Then he tries to pull this "I love you and miss you text"... was the first time in 2 years he ever said those words. I was taken back a bit, but ignored him. I don't think he missed me or anything, I think he was lonely in the house by himself for three days and would say anything to anyone to feel less alone.

Tonight when I got home, he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I was so tired from traveling and being with my family the whole weekend I didn't feel like doing anything. I think he was trying to reach out to talk to me.. not sure I really care, or want to hear what he has to say anymore. Maybe thats cold of me? I don't know. I'm sick of the games. One minute we are seperating/divorcing, and the next minute he doesn't want me to leave, but says its 90% because of the kids. Not that he wants to save the marriage. Then the next minute he wants to save us... not sure there is much "us" left to save anymore.

Over the last few years I have so emotionally detatched myself from him that I find myself not caring what he does anymore. If he leaves good.. if he finds a new girlfriend good.. if he jerks off to porn good.. just leave me alone.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hmmm.... If he's really trying to reach you, at least hear him out. See what he has to say. Let him know that you aren't sure whether or not you will care, but you will listen. 

Sometimes it takes coming to the bottom of the barrel before our spouses realize they need to change.


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