# My backstory



## drencrom

Sorry, I didn't realize about posting in this section before being cleared for others.

So I'll make this short.

Married long ago, divorced about 5 years ago.

What happened? Wife, citing reasons of not being able to sow her oats before getting married, cheated almost every year we were married. About 9 years to be precise.

2 kids now all grown, had to get a paternity test to make sure, thankfully they are both mine.

Long story short I was the kind of guy who would entertain her desire to be a SAHM, even though I wanted her to work, and even watch my kids so she could have her time with her friends. I was repaid by her, and her friends covering for her, by her seeking out other men to bone. I divorced her, and the rest is typical history, her badmouthing me to my sons, making it out that I was the bad guy......until I finally had enough and when both were older I told them what she had done, now my oldest has nothing to do with her and my youngest is angry with her at what she did, but not writing her off completely.

Now I'm single and will never risk going through that kind of hell again.

So there it is. Now where is my enhanced access? 😂🤣🤪


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## Cindywife

drencrom said:


> Sorry, I didn't realize about posting in this section before being cleared for others.
> 
> So I'll make this short.
> 
> Married long ago, divorced about 5 years ago.
> 
> What happened? Wife, citing reasons of not being able to sow her oats before getting married, cheated almost every year we were married. About 9 years to be precise.
> 
> 2 kids now all grown, had to get a paternity test to make sure, thankfully they are both mine.
> 
> Long story short I was the kind of guy who would entertain her desire to be a SAHM, even though I wanted her to work, and even watch my kids so she could have her time with her friends. I was repaid by her, and her friends covering for her, by her seeking out other men to bone. I divorced her, and the rest is typical history, her badmouthing me to my sons, making it out that I was the bad guy......until I finally had enough and when both were older I told them what she had done, now my oldest has nothing to do with her and my youngest is angry with her at what she did, but not writing her off completely.
> 
> Now I'm single and will never risk going through that kind of hell again.
> 
> So there it is. Now where is my enhanced access? 😂🤣🤪


I'm sorry about your marriage. At least you got two children out of it.


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## drencrom

Cindywife said:


> I'm sorry about your marriage. At least you got two children out of it.


Yes, its funny you know. I mentioned to a friend once that if I knew then what I knew now I wouldn't have married her. He said then I'd be wishing away my kids.

I said, no, wishing away my kids would be me wanting to go back in time for a do-over. Knowing back then what she was like without knowledge of my kids is different. Am I making sense? LOL


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## Cindywife

drencrom said:


> Yes, its funny you know. I mentioned to a friend once that if I knew then what I knew now I wouldn't have married her. He said then I'd be wishing away my kids.
> 
> I said, no, wishing away my kids would be me wanting to go back in time for a do-over. Knowing back then what she was like without knowledge of my kids is different. Am I making sense? LOL


It makes sense. You can still love your kids but wish you made different choices.


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## Numb26

Glad you made it through the tough times!


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## SpinyNorman

drencrom said:


> Sorry, I didn't realize about posting in this section before being cleared for others.
> ...
> 
> So there it is. Now where is my enhanced access? 😂🤣🤪


You are now cleared to post the words "thrice", "pusillanimous" and *****.


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## Galabar01

Yes, after you have kids, you can never imagine a do-over again.


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## manowar

drencrom said:


> I was repaid by her, and her friends covering for her, by her seeking out other men to bone. I divorced her, and the rest is typical history, her badmouthing me to my sons, making it out that I was the bad guy.....


Dude that was painful to read. It takes courage to post this. Sorry for your misery.

Looking back were there red flags/warning signs that you chose to ignore before marriage? Overly flirty behavior, talking about past boyfriends; your gut feelings; questionable moral world view; trips she spoke or bragged about; disappearing; not returning your calls before marriage; provocative dressing; total free spirit; she said things that blew your mind. 

And you took the view -- well when we get married I'll have her locked down and she'll automatically change because she's got a ring on her finger. How'd you catch her?


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## ConanHub

Wow! Glad it's over but sorry you went through it. What a hohoho!


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Sorry, I didn't realize about posting in this section before being cleared for others.
> 
> So I'll make this short.
> 
> Married long ago, divorced about 5 years ago.
> 
> What happened? Wife, citing reasons of not being able to sow her oats before getting married, cheated almost every year we were married. About 9 years to be precise.
> 
> 2 kids now all grown, had to get a paternity test to make sure, thankfully they are both mine.
> 
> Long story short I was the kind of guy who would entertain her desire to be a SAHM, even though I wanted her to work, and even watch my kids so she could have her time with her friends. I was repaid by her, and her friends covering for her, by her seeking out other men to bone. I divorced her, and the rest is typical history, her badmouthing me to my sons, making it out that I was the bad guy......until I finally had enough and when both were older I told them what she had done, now my oldest has nothing to do with her and my youngest is angry with her at what she did, but not writing her off completely.
> 
> Now I'm single and will never risk going through that kind of hell again.
> 
> So there it is. Now where is my enhanced access? 😂🤣🤪


Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry you're one of the club noone ever wants to join... BS. Your ex and her friends sound like trash, especially trying to turn your children against you. 

My bf had a very similar experience and it took him 5 years to consider dating after his divorce, so your life is what you make it! How's your relationship with your children?


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## drencrom

Galabar01 said:


> Yes, after you have kids, you can never imagine a do-over again.


Nor would I. They are the most important thing to me in the world. Even if I had found out one or both weren't mine, they are still mine!!


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## drencrom

manowar said:


> Dude that was painful to read. It takes courage to post this. Sorry for your misery.


Well, divorce was like a Vicodin, took alot of the pain away, and it didn't last long. The only frustration was adjusting to seeing my kids every other weekend as opposed to them living in my house and me seeing them off to bed every night.



> Looking back were there red flags/warning signs that you chose to ignore before marriage?


None other than the fact that she wasn't very experienced. Neither was I, but I guess the fact I had one or two more notches under my belt than her, the imbalance was not acceptable to her I guess. But I didn't know that until way after we were married.



> Overly flirty behavior, talking about past boyfriends; your gut feelings; questionable moral world view; trips she spoke or bragged about; disappearing; not returning your calls before marriage; provocative dressing; total free spirit; she said things that blew your mind.


No, none of that, before marriage anyway. One thing I did learn is, all of the guys she boned while we were married, she would always talk bad about them. I think it was to make me less suspicious in the event someone ratted her out.



> And you took the view -- well when we get married I'll have her locked down and she'll automatically change because she's got a ring on her finger. How'd you catch her?


???? I never had the view of her needing to be locked down. Quite the opposite. I thought I was doing a good thing staying home with the kids while she went out with friends. I caught her because she started coming home WAY too late, and sometimes the next morning, using the excuse that she crashed at her friend's place.

In the end I tricked her, I took a gamble and talked to her friend and asked if they had fun last weekend. Her friend paused, then said "oh yes, had a blast". I asked her if dinner at a random restaurant was good and she played right into it and said it was great. 

So then when I went home I told her I ran into her friend and told her that the dinner at a completely different restaurant was awesome and she fell for it and said they were there.

Thats when I layed into her told her she lied, told her unless she comes clean and gives me access to her phone right then and there that we were done. She refused because she knew she wouldn't be able to erase the evidence. So she gave me half assed truths like she didn't do anything but kiss the guy(ya right, coming home the next morning and all they did was kiss) so that I would think it wasn't bad enough to divorce over.

Long story short this went on for about another 6 months and she expected to still be able to go out and still guarded her phone. I filed, and the rest is history.


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## Trident

Good job kicking her to the curb as soon as the signs of cheating were there. 

Most of the threads started by new members of the forum are along the lines of "I think she's cheating and I confronted her and she said no it was just a kiss but wouldn't let me see her phone, I love her and I believe her and I don't want to get divorced, is this the right decision?"

You don't have to be single. You can even cohabitate with a woman at some future point. 

Just don't get married or intermingle finances with another woman.


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## drencrom

TXTrini said:


> Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry you're one of the club noone ever wants to join... BS. Your ex and her friends sound like trash, especially trying to turn your children against you.
> 
> My bf had a very similar experience and it took him 5 years to consider dating after his divorce, so your life is what you make it! How's your relationship with your children?


Relationship with my kids is great. I love them dearly and now that they are older, driving age, one in college, they come over and see me on their own. I actually enjoy them more now that their mother isn't around.

Funny, their mother would always try to get them to demand more money from me, even though my child support was enough to cover all their expenses and she'd have to use none of her household $ for it. Her brainwashing almost worked. They started to get mad that I wasn't giving a little more money for things that they either needed or wanted.

I sat them down, and when I told them how much I gave their mother, now they were pissed at her for not getting them what they needed. I told them they can tell her to quit asking me for more money and to go get a job.


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## drencrom

Trident said:


> Good job kicking her to the curb as soon as the signs of cheating were there.
> 
> Most of the threads started by new members of the forum are along the lines of "I think she's cheating and I confronted her and she said no it was just a kiss but wouldn't let me see her phone, I love her and I believe her and I don't want to get divorced, is this the right decision?"
> 
> You don't have to be single. You can even cohabitate with a woman at some future point.
> 
> Just don't get married or intermingle finances with another woman.


I won't have to worry about that. I decided that I'll never be married again.


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## Trident

Yes, that much is clear, I feel the same way. I was referencing where you said you're single (and it sounds like you're going to remain that way).

There's a lot of good women out there with a lot to offer (and I'm not just talking blowjobs which they have improved with experience). Many of them want to get married. Even though most of them, by the time they approach or pass middle age have been through at least 1 failed marriage and are looking for financial security and under the foolish impression that next time will be better. Well, a) they're probably wrong, and b) they can't have everything.


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Relationship with my kids is great. I love them dearly and now that they are older, driving age, one in college, they come over and see me on their own. I actually enjoy them more now that their mother isn't around.
> 
> Funny, their mother would always try to get them to demand more money from me, even though my child support was enough to cover all their expenses and she'd have to use none of her household $ for it. Her brainwashing almost worked. They started to get mad that I wasn't giving a little more money for things that they either needed or wanted.
> 
> I sat them down, and when I told them how much I gave their mother, now they were pissed at her for not getting them what they needed. I told them they can tell her to quit asking me for more money and to go get a job.


Thank goodness it worked out for you. I was horrified to discover how common parental alienation is, when some fathers chimed in on a thread I posted asking for help and advice.

My bf has been divorced 12 years now and his ex alienated both children. They're old enough imo to see and accept truth, but his ex apparently doesn't care that her manipulations have made both of them mentally unstable. 

How old were your kids when you talked to them about everything to change their attitude?


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## Marc878

drencrom said:


> Well, divorce was like a Vicodin, took alot of the pain away, and it didn't last long. The only frustration was adjusting to seeing my kids every other weekend as opposed to them living in my house and me seeing them off to bed every night.
> 
> 
> 
> None other than the fact that she wasn't very experienced. Neither was I, but I guess the fact I had one or two more notches under my belt than her, the imbalance was not acceptable to her I guess. But I didn't know that until way after we were married.
> 
> 
> 
> No, none of that, before marriage anyway. One thing I did learn is, all of the guys she boned while we were married, she would always talk bad about them. I think it was to make me less suspicious in the event someone ratted her out.
> 
> 
> 
> ???? I never had the view of her needing to be locked down. Quite the opposite. I thought I was doing a good thing staying home with the kids while she went out with friends. I caught her because she started coming home WAY too late, and sometimes the next morning, using the excuse that she crashed at her friend's place.
> 
> In the end I tricked her, I took a gamble and talked to her friend and asked if they had fun last weekend. Her friend paused, then said "oh yes, had a blast". I asked her if dinner at a random restaurant was good and she played right into it and said it was great.
> 
> So then when I went home I told her I ran into her friend and told her that the dinner at a completely different restaurant was awesome and she fell for it and said they were there.
> 
> Thats when I layed into her told her she lied, told her unless she comes clean and gives me access to her phone right then and there that we were done. She refused because she knew she wouldn't be able to erase the evidence. So she gave me half assed truths like she didn't do anything but kiss the guy(ya right, coming home the next morning and all they did was kiss) so that I would think it wasn't bad enough to divorce over.
> 
> Long story short this went on for about another 6 months and she expected to still be able to go out and still guarded her phone. I filed, and the rest is history.


Typical. It was just a kiss or we’re just friends. How’d you find out she was a serial cheater?


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## Marc878

drencrom said:


> Relationship with my kids is great. I love them dearly and now that they are older, driving age, one in college, they come over and see me on their own. I actually enjoy them more now that their mother isn't around.
> 
> Funny, their mother would always try to get them to demand more money from me, even though my child support was enough to cover all their expenses and she'd have to use none of her household $ for it. Her brainwashing almost worked. They started to get mad that I wasn't giving a little more money for things that they either needed or wanted.
> 
> I sat them down, and when I told them how much I gave their mother, now they were pissed at her for not getting them what they needed. I told them they can tell her to quit asking me for more money and to go get a job.


Did you tell the kids the truth about the adultery? Are you no contact with the x?


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## drencrom

TXTrini said:


> Thank goodness it worked out for you. I was horrified to discover how common parental alienation is, when some fathers chimed in on a thread I posted asking for help and advice.


Oh she was successful in alienating them from me when they were younger. Now that they are older, they saw through her BS, especially when I told them exactly how much I paid so they could be taken care of.



> My bf has been divorced 12 years now and his ex alienated both children. They're old enough imo to see and accept truth, but his ex apparently doesn't care that her manipulations have made both of them mentally unstable.


Exactly, its mental abuse. My oldest is cynical of women after finding out what their mother has done. I tell him not to be and to not judge other women by her.

I feel bad for your bf and his kids(and you as I'm sure you obviously care about them). To have your kids grow up with some issues because of an X brainwashing them is horrible.



> How old were your kids when you talked to them about everything to change their attitude?


About 14 and 10. But the real change came when my oldest realized that he was of no use to her any longer once child support dropped when he turned 18. I took what I was paying her and gave it to him while he is going to college.


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## drencrom

Marc878 said:


> Typical. It was just a kiss or we’re just friends. How’d you find out she was a serial cheater?


Funny thing is, after the whole town knew we were getting divorced, people came out of the woodwork to tell me they knew of all the other different guys she had been with. Nice that they didn't tell me when it was happening!


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## drencrom

Marc878 said:


> Did you tell the kids the truth about the adultery? Are you no contact with the x?


I told my oldest because he came to me with stories about how she badmouths me and tries to place the blame of the divorce on me.

After I told him he actually said, "what a wh**e". I didn't want to tell him, but her constantly badmouthing me and my son throwing her under the bus was the straw that broke the camel's back.


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## Marc878

drencrom said:


> Funny thing is, after the whole town knew we were getting divorced, people came out of the woodwork to tell me they knew of all the other different guys she had been with. Nice that they didn't tell me when it was happening!


Well they weren’t friends. I hope you cut that scum off.


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## Marc878

drencrom said:


> I told my oldest because he came to me with stories about how she badmouths me and tries to place the blame of the divorce on me.
> 
> After I told him he actually said, "what a wh**e". I didn't want to tell him, but her constantly badmouthing me and my son throwing her under the bus was the straw that broke the camel's back.


I’m a believer in telling the kids in a sanitized way. They aren’t stupid plus keeping them in the dark just causes them anxiety.

You see what you witnessed all the time. One guy on here stood up and lied to his kids with the x. She introduced them to her new boyfriend the next day. He’s still having heartburn over it.


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Oh she was successful in alienating them from me when they were younger. Now that they are older, they saw through her BS, especially when I told them exactly how much I paid so they could be taken care of.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly, its mental abuse. My oldest is cynical of women after finding out what their mother has done. I tell him not to be and to not judge other women by her.
> 
> I feel bad for your bf and his kids(and you as I'm sure you obviously care about them). To have your kids grow up with some issues because of an X brainwashing them is horrible.
> 
> 
> 
> About 14 and 10. But the real change came when my oldest realized that he was of no use to her any longer once child support dropped when he turned 18. I took what I was paying her and gave it to him while he is going to college.


I only met his son twice, but he seemed like a good kid, never met his daughter. I wasn't kidding when I say they're alienated. Hmmm, you told them when they were younger... That might be the mistake he made, he wanted them to have a childhood.

His son finally asked him why they divorced and had a complete turn around in behavior when he told him. He refuses to see my bf or talk, he's been radio silent for several months now. 

I'm glad you and your kids have a good relationship, I wouldn't wish what my bf is going through on anyone. I hope they'll realize the truth and come around one day, but they are enmeshed in a crazy dynamic that's apparently emotionally stunted them (20 and 17).


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## drencrom

Marc878 said:


> Well they weren’t friends. I hope you cut that scum off.


Only one of the guys was a good acquaintence(wouldn't really call him a good friend). He tried to talk to me and smooth things over. I simply told him to get out of my face and don't even look in my direction ever again.


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## drencrom

Marc878 said:


> I’m a believer in telling the kids in a sanitized way. They aren’t stupid plus keeping them in the dark just causes them anxiety.


It was sanitized. I simply told the truth without getting angry or name calling. Because I didn't want my sons to see that I will react in the same manner she has.


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## drencrom

TXTrini said:


> I only met his son twice, but he seemed like a good kid, never met his daughter.


Oh man, the daughter. Might be lucky you haven't met her. Not saying she will be a real pill, but the daughters from what I've heard from others are the ones that are REALLY brainwashed by their mothers to hate their dad's new love interest.

If you meet her, just be aware of that.



> His son finally asked him why they divorced and had a complete turn around in behavior when he told him. He refuses to see my bf or talk, he's been radio silent for several months now.


Wow, I don't know your bf's backstory, but did he stray in the marriage? If not I can't see his son turning his back on him like that.


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Oh man, the daughter. Might be lucky you haven't met her. Not saying she will be a real pill, but the daughters from what I've heard from others are the ones that are REALLY brainwashed by their mothers to hate their dad's new love interest.
> 
> If you meet her, just be aware of that.


My friend told me the same thing! Her stepchildren, especially her stepdaughter undermined her marriage, and her husband and her divorced. Now that his children are out of the nest and not bothering with him, he hangs around trying to get back with her.

I'm not worried about that, honestly. This might sound bad, but as a woman who never wanted/had children, I DGAF about making nice. She can hate me to her heart's content, but that would be a waste of her time.



drencrom said:


> Wow, I don't know your bf's backstory, but did he stray in the marriage? If not I can't see his son turning his back on him like that.


😆 I don't associate with known cheaters in my personal life in any capacity. My father was a serial cheat, so was my ex.

His exW cheated on him with a younger client when their kids were very young (5and 8 ). She married her AP immediately after the divorce was finalized. It's a super weird dynamic, I can PM you some time if you're interested, or you can look at this thread I posted to ask for help for him.


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## drencrom

TXTrini said:


> She can hate me to her heart's content, but that would be a waste of her time.


Well just remember, its not entirely her fault. 80% of it will lie with her mother. Making nice and if her mother's brainwashing topics come up you can at least set it straight.




> His exW cheated on him with a younger client when their kids were very young (5and 8 ). She married her AP immediately after the divorce was finalized. It's a super weird dynamic, I can PM you some time if you're interested, or you can look at this thread I posted to ask for help for him.


If his boy's mother was the cheater in the relationship, then why in the hell is he mad at his dad?? Honestly, if my boys decided to give me the cold shoulder when it was their mother that threw them in the situation they are in, I'd disown them and move from this hellhole that is Illinois and to Tennessee or Texas.


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Well just remember, its not entirely her fault. 80% of it will lie with her mother. Making nice and if her mother's brainwashing topics come up you can at least set it straight.


I know, but eventually, she will be an adult and have to own her actions. I don't know if I will ever meet her at this rate.



drencrom said:


> If his boy's mother was the cheater in the relationship, then why in the hell is he mad at his dad?? Honestly, if my boys decided to give me the cold shoulder when it was their mother that threw them in the situation they are in, I'd disown them and move from this hellhole that is Illinois and to Tennessee or Texas.


His mother told him a different story all his life and he didn't hear my bf's side of it until he asked him a few months ago. She probably trotted out her DV story. She filed a fake DV charge and dropped it in exchange for him signing a waiver to allow her and her AP to marry immediately instead of waiting 6 months in accordance to State law. Who the heck wants to remarry within 2 months of a divorce? She claimed they met after filing for divorce, I don't know who she thought she was fooling.

There's a lot more I haven't shared, seeing as this is a public forum and it's his story.


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## drencrom

TXTrini said:


> I know, but eventually, she will be an adult and have to own her actions. I don't know if I will ever meet her at this rate.


Other than the fact that the information I finally ended up giving my sons that drew them to me, the thing that did it more than anything was my oldest son kept hearing his mother badmouth me, and in the beginning he was believing it. But then over time he noticed that I did not badmouth his mom to him on a regular basis. In fact, last thing I wanted to do was talk about her at all.

He grew up, saw this, and saw his mom's pettiness.

So just be you, pleasant, refrain from smack talk and eventually, they see it.


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## TXTrini

drencrom said:


> Other than the fact that the information I finally ended up giving my sons that drew them to me, the thing that did it more than anything was my oldest son kept hearing his mother badmouth me, and in the beginning he was believing it. But then over time he noticed that I did not badmouth his mom to him on a regular basis. In fact, last thing I wanted to do was talk about her at all.
> 
> He grew up, saw this, and saw his mom's pettiness.
> 
> So just be you, pleasant, refrain from smack talk and eventually, they see it.


That's why I hope one day they come around, for his sake. 

Im truly happy you avoided that, other men on here chimed in on the parental alienation thread and haven't been as fortunate. It's sad mothers do that on purpose, it only hurts their children.


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## Numb26

TXTrini said:


> That's why I hope one day they come around, for his sake.
> 
> Im truly happy you avoided that, other men on here chimed in on the parental alienation thread and haven't been as fortunate. It's sad mothers do that on purpose, it only hurts their children.


I have more reason then most to bad mouth their Ex to their children but I don't see the purpose. My kids will make their own decision about their mother


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## manowar

drencrom said:


> ???? I never had the view of her needing to be locked down.


 I meant lockdown before marriage but that's irrelevant now. I was of the belief that there had to be some sort of foreshadowing to this type of thing. But I guess not. You married the seemingly Nice Girl and got this sht. It's scary. And so are the consequences for a man.

I'm assuming she was in her 20s when this happened. Did you ever get an explanation? How did she turn out today now that she had to face the reality? After you dumped her I bet her lifestyle wasn't as much fun. You are out doing the work, and she's doing this. It's being married to a spoiled child.




drencrom said:


> Only one of the guys was a good acquaintence(wouldn't really call him a good friend). He tried to talk to me and smooth things over. I simply told him to get out of my face and don't even look in my direction ever again.


You handled this horrible situation well. A lot better than the guys we see coming here crying, which they've been conditioned to do. This is the sort of wifely behavior you had to put up with which isn't taken into consideration by the family courts. It's a system run amuck and you are another sacrificial lamb. This issue has been discussed ad nauseam here. You have a backbone. that is evident. Too many modern men have fallen for the construct of romantic love.

I recently came across Paul Elam. Check out his blog. He tears apart the belief system of chivalry, romantic love (hollywood's version), modern man, and all the nonsense men have been fed. For him, it's one big mind fk. I think you'd appreciate what he has to say. He's one of the best I've come across. It looks like you've come out on the other side of this strong.


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## drencrom

manowar said:


> You handled this horrible situation well. A lot better than the guys we see coming here crying, which they've been conditioned to do.


I'm not sure what its like in other states, but in Illinois all divorcing parents are required to take a "Children First" class. It was beneficial as I might not have seen it that way with all the emotions running high.

I took it to heart. Their mother did not. And in the end I used that guidance knowing no matter how much I'd have loved to have told my kids every single detail of her cheating, it was something they didn't need to be burdened with.

Sure I told them the facts when backed into a corner, but not alot of detail. I said my peace, then I was done. In the end following the advice to put my kids first paid off.


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## SpinyNorman

TXTrini said:


> That's why I hope one day they come around, for his sake.


When children are small they largely want to align w/ a parent figure and are susceptible to propaganda like "Your <other parent> is evil". But as they age they are likely to be more clear-eyed. So in the short term being a bastard is likely effective, but being reasonable is more likely to work in the long term. Of course a few kids reach adulthood and never take to thinking for themselves, but you aren't really worse off having them out of your life.


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## TXTrini

SpinyNorman said:


> When children are small they largely want to align w/ a parent figure and are susceptible to propaganda like "Your <other parent> is evil". But as they age they are likely to be more clear-eyed. So in the short term being a bastard is likely effective, but being reasonable is more likely to work in the long term. Of course a few kids reach adulthood and never take to thinking for themselves, but you aren't really worse off having them out of your life.


Thank you.

He thinks he's worse off for not having them in his life, so I hope they relent one day.


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## Evinrude58

drencrom said:


> Oh she was successful in alienating them from me when they were younger. Now that they are older, they saw through her BS, especially when I told them exactly how much I paid so they could be taken care of.
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly, its mental abuse. My oldest is cynical of women after finding out what their mother has done. I tell him not to be and to not judge other women by her.
> 
> I feel bad for your bf and his kids(and you as I'm sure you obviously care about them). To have your kids grow up with some issues because of an X brainwashing them is horrible.
> 
> 
> 
> About 14 and 10. But the real change came when my oldest realized that he was of no use to her any longer once child support dropped when he turned 18. I took what I was paying her and gave it to him while he is going to college.


That’s freaking cool of you


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