# The dragon



## Kevan (Mar 28, 2011)

I didn't believe in dragons.

The old story about the knight having to slay the dragon to win the princess was just a story from an old, rough time. Nowadays no one has to fight. The story is a historical relic. Kids like it.

So when I got married, my wife's strange pet—the nasty one with the scales and a bad attitude—didn't really concern me. Sure, I got bitten on the ankles a few times, and badly burned once or twice when I tried to stroke it, but it was a small animal, and she was deeply attached to it. You have to take the good with the bad. Eventually, I assumed, the animal would die, or she would realize that it wasn't really a suitable house pet and she would get rid of it.

Meanwhile, we were both people of good will, and we loved each other. A grumpy reptile in the house would hardly be a threat to our marriage.

As the years went on, though, the animal only got bigger and nastier. In fact, it actually learned to talk. It would sneer at me and insult me, particularly when things between my wife and me were going especially well. We'd be coming back from a vacation or something, all refreshed and happy, the nameless creature having been asleep in its carrier the whole trip. Then as soon as we got home, it would wake up and start spewing venom. "You're a selfish pr1ck," it would say to me. "You don't love her. You're manipulative. Everything you do is just to get what you want." I did love her, and none of the rest was true, or at least not very. But as the little beast—not so little now—said these things, I could see out of the corner of my eye that my wife was listening with a worried look. 

"Honey," I said to her nervously, "I don't like what that animal is saying to me, and I shouldn't have to stand for it. I want you to give it away. Maybe there's a zoo somewhere that would have it." 

"That's silly," she said. "My little dragon can't hurt you." As she said this, her dragon—the size of miniature horse—breathed fire on to my pants. I beat my leg to put out the flames. "Besides," she continued, "how dare you ask me to give my beloved pet away!" Her eyes flashed. "You're being selfish. I find I've lost a little respect for you."

I knew I had a serious problem, but I didn't know what to do about it. I went online and read the stories of guys who claimed to have had encounters with their wives' giant dragons. Some of them claimed to have killed the dragon. More of them had lost to the dragon, and were living apart from their wives. The great majority were like me, confused and looking for help. There were even stories about men who had been fined or jailed for cruelty to dragons.

Meanwhile, my wife's dragon is the size of a Volkswagen. It sleeps in the house, and I tiptoe around it to avoid waking it. Once in a while, I see the sweet, loving woman I married, but more often she seems to be siding with the dragon these days.

I might have to leave. But there's a rusty suit of armor in the garage. I think it was my great-grandfather's. When I was a kid, I used to fantasize about wearing it. It looks like it fits me. There's a sword, too.

Maybe I'll put it on.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I am a dragonslayer, and if my wife wasn't a dragon, I would have probably buggered off to find other sources of entertainment sooner or later... figuratively speaking... :rofl:


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

At least you got the princess. I got the evil step monster.


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

Also in some stories the knight dont always beat the dragon the first time around, so they go see a blacksmith and get the proper tools for a rematch... Put on your armor and stand tall to that dragon and put the beast in it's proper place...


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

But this dragon has a master. By fighting the dragon you are feeding its master and its master will make the dragon grow. Much better to put up boundaries of intolerance (shields) of the dragon’s behaviour. “I do not tolerate that behaviour” then walk away/go out and do something you enjoy doing. That way the dragon cannot get inside of you. That’s your job, stopping the dragon from entering you. It’s why you need boundaries, see http://www.bettermen.org/better-men-store.asp.

It’s then for the dragon’s master to slay the dragon or not. Which is the only way it will ever be gone from its master, your wife. She’s the one who has to slay the dragon. Not you. But some masters cannot imagine a life without their dragon and they hold onto them for dear life. If that does happen at least you will know that she wont slay the dragon and you can then decide whether to live with it, or not.


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

If you can't slay the dragon, tame it and saddle up! If it's gonna spread terror and destruction throughout the land you might as well ride the damn monster.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

But the dragon wont be destroyed or tamed unless it wants to be! It exists for a reason. And that reason is generally to inflict pain on its master’s enemy. It’s when the pain the dragon inflicts gets too much that the “enemy” walks.

Much better to put up boundaries before that happens. And then when the dragon is no longer able to get inside and inflict its pain, you can really begin to see and understand what is happening and why. You cannot do that while you are in a battle with a dragon.


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## Kevan (Mar 28, 2011)

AFEH said:


> But the dragon wont be destroyed or tamed unless it wants to be! It exists for a reason. And that reason is generally to inflict pain on its master’s enemy. It’s when the pain the dragon inflicts gets too much that the “enemy” walks.
> 
> Much better to put up boundaries before that happens. And then when the dragon is no longer able to get inside and inflict its pain, you can really begin to see and understand what is happening and why. You cannot do that while you are in a battle with a dragon.


I take it you don't believe in the "fitness test" concept, then?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

It depends on just what type of fire the dragon is spitting out. My stbxw’s dragon’s fire was bitterness and resentment, in a passive aggressive way. Over the years I found there was nothing I could do to stop it. These things form the core of a person’s psyche. So that dragon you want to slay is right there in the very deepest part of your wife’s psyche. To the extent that it in a great part DEFINES WHO SHE IS. In that she very strongly identifies with the dragon. Can you slay the dragon without slaying your wife?

It is a very deep psychological “problem” (your wife wont see it as a problem, for her it’s “normal”). My wife’s dragon ended our 42 year relationship because she did not want to get rid of it. Like me you may well find that your wife values her dragon more than she values you. If that is the case then maybe the sooner you find out the better. You find out by being passively defensive with boundaries. “I do not tolerate that behaviour” and then walk away. If your wife does not RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES and continues with her abusive behaviour then you will know EXACTLY where you stand in her order of life.


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## Kevan (Mar 28, 2011)

Ah. That would be the Personality Disorder Dragon. Quite a different beast from the Fitness Test Dragon.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Never was sure which one of us had the disorder.


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