# New Member



## later_gator (5 mo ago)

Hi there,

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married 5, and have 2 kids under 4.

My wife has diagnosed mental disorders, and after going through couples counseling, the therapist also thinks some undiagnosed ones too.

A year ago, my wife got physical with me and left marks on me from scratching. She then left the house with the kids and got an order of protection against me. After getting a lawyer, and a police report of what happened, I was able to file for a dueling order.

Long story short, after 3 months of hell and having to go through child services just to see my kids, she decided that she wanted to come back. I agreed, but told her we were going to marriage counseling.

My wife is a stay at home mom, and barely does that job. When she came back, she told me how she went on dating sites while we were separated, and wanted to know if we wanted to have a poly relationship. If she could start an only fans and start selling her panties. I told her out of the question, and if she wants to make money to get a job.

I paid for her schooling for a bachelor's in bio, a phlebotomist degree, and now a tech degree. I told her to get a job in any of those fields. I get bombarded with excuses, such no one is hiring, or I'm too afraid of failing, etc... I try to be as supportive as possible, but there is no drive to get a job.

The house is always in shambles, and the weekend is when I get a chance to clean. It's gotten to a point where all I asked her is to clean up after herself. She has even neglected to do this. This has been discussed in length in couples counseling, but she always reverts back to this is just how she is and why can't I accept her for her, even though the lack of her responsibilities means it's an increase in mine.

I cook dinner and take care of the kids everyday. Finally there was a breakthrough in therapy and it hit her that she is in a partnership and has to pull some weight. So, we agreed that I would get an hour to myself each day (I know... At least something).

She has a bariatric surgery 3 months ago and that's when all **** starts to hit the fan. She decides she no longer wants to have any sexual contact with me, even cuddling. Started to go out more with friends that she met on an online mom meetup app, staying out over night. She finally told me on Sunday that she decided she wants a divorce.

Needless to say, I am devastated (not surprised, just still hurt). Even the therapist is shocked because everything was going well in sessions. When I ask her for the reason, she stated that it's because she's is lonely and doesn't want to go to me when she feels like this.

I asked her to leave the house, and she told me that she's not leaving her home or kids. She said, why can't we be friends and co-parent. To me, it seems like she wants her cake and eat it too. She wants to have the financial security of the marriage, but have an independent lifestyle. The therapist thinks my wife is in store for a root awakening. I'm not really looking forward to what comes next.


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