# My vagina is too big for him. Please help.



## sexhelpplease (Jul 8, 2013)

He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear. That's a very important part in a relationship. I've thought of tightening exercises, creams. Do these work? Lube to make it more sensitive for him. What are other things we could do as a couple? Watch each other masterbate, use toys, etc. Any ideas welcome. Thank you.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

the only thing I can think of would be a ton of kegels. Well you can also do it flat doggy style.Your legs would be somewhat closed and that would give the sensation of it feeling tighter for him.You can squeeze your thighs together more if he still needs it tighter.
I always thought a well toned vag would accommodate most penis sizes unless it's an usually thin penis.


----------



## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

The flat doggy style with your legs tgether will give him a lot tighter feel...plus more friction. Hubby loves this position...but be ready...sometimes they like it a little to much and get done befor you even get started :-/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

sexhelpplease said:


> He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear.



What about anal? If he's on the small side, that might work well for you both.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

So how about you? Can you feel him without any issues and get pleasure from it, or do you not really feel him yourself? Did you recently give birth? Is your husbands equipment unusually small? I'm trying to get a better understanding of the issue. Anytime you can put your legs together for intercourse will make for a more snug fit, so that's one option there. You already saw the other option concerning kegals. But if your issue is related to childbirth, then it's possible you may need to have surgery.

On the flip side, if you can feel him without any issues, then maybe he is having the issues due to a lack of sensation in his penis. IDK, just throwing some ideas out there.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> On the flip side, if you can feel him without any issues, then maybe he is having the issues due to a lack of sensation in his penis. IDK, just throwing some ideas out there.


:iagree: SO masturbated frequently before we became sexually active together and he lost some sensitivity in his penis bc of that.It's fine now but for a while there it was like he couldn't feel a thing even though I do kegels religiously and never had complaints in the past.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

sexhelpplease said:


> He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear. That's a very important part in a relationship. I've thought of tightening exercises, creams. Do these work? Lube to make it more sensitive for him. What are other things we could do as a couple? Watch each other masterbate, use toys, etc. Any ideas welcome. Thank you.


He might want to try not masturbating for a while. When he does masturbate he should do it with a loose grip. Theseus' idea would work too, if you're into anal.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

At a risk of TMI... On days when my SO and I would like a bit more tightness, she can use a butt plug while I'm inside her. You may not want that all the time, but for special occasions.. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

One of the reasons I like rear entry (from behind not AS) is that I get to push the most sensitive part of my penis against her pelvic bone. This always provides enough stimulation for me if face-to-face doesn't. 

I've read on other forums about women who are into fisting and can tighten back up within a matter of minutes for intercourse. I assume they are practicing their kegals to do this.


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

don't if this works or not but girls used to buy alum and make douche with it for that purpose. We used to sell it a drug store I worked at for that reason.


----------



## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

If it's related to childbirth, there isn't much you can do unfortunately.  

If not, then I don't think you can be "too big" for him. Experiment with different positions that keep your legs closed together.


----------



## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

If it's childbirth kegels will help. You can buy luna beads and things like that to help. Also there are physiotherapists that specialize in this so check that out. A friend of mine had prolapse issue after birth and went to a physiotherapist.

Another tip is that some women find their vaginas tighten after orgasm so maybe if you O first he can do PIV to see how it feels.

Good luck 

http://www.intimacyofeden.com/LELO-Luna-Beads-Exercise-System-ent9826.htm


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Laila8 said:


> If it's related to childbirth, there isn't much you can do unfortunately.
> 
> If not, then I don't think you can be "too big" for him. Experiment with different positions that keep your legs closed together.


My STBXW was always loose, even before kids. I was her second sexual partner, and she only had sex with the first one twice. She didn't ever masturbate before meeting me (or with me, for that matter). Every other partner I've had has been much snugger, to some degree or other. Whether they've had kids or not. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Stonewall said:


> don't if this works or not but girls used to buy alum and make douche with it for that purpose. We used to sell it a drug store I worked at for that reason.


I can't believe this would be at all healthy. Douching itself is unhealthy - it pushes bacteria up into the vagina and can cause bacterial infections. 

And alum? That shouldn't be inserted into a vagina! WTF? 



> *Alum Health Concerns*
> 
> *All forms of alum can cause irritation of the skin and mucous membranes.* Breathing alum can cause lung damage. Aluminum also may attack lung tissue. Because it's a salt, eating massive amounts of alum can make you sick. Usually ingesting alum will make you vomit, but if you could keep it down, the alum could upset the ionic equilibrium in your bloodstream, just like overdosing on any other electrolyte. However, the primary concern with alum is longterm exposure to low levels of the chemical. Aluminum, from your diet or healthcare product, can cause degeneration of nervous system tissue. It is possible exposure to aluminum could lead to an increased risk of certain cancers, brain plaques or Alzheimer's Disease.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

sexhelpplease said:


> He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear. That's a very important part in a relationship. I've thought of tightening exercises, creams. Do these work? Lube to make it more sensitive for him. What are other things we could do as a couple? Watch each other masterbate, use toys, etc. Any ideas welcome. Thank you.


If he's doing you from behind... reach down there and pinch it together. OR, stick a finger inside..


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

I gave you a solution on your private mail, but it won't happen over night.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

sexhelpplease said:


> He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear. That's a very important part in a relationship. I've thought of tightening exercises, creams. Do these work? Lube to make it more sensitive for him. What are other things we could do as a couple? Watch each other masterbate, use toys, etc. Any ideas welcome. Thank you.


What exactly is he trying to justify? That's he's not really LD or that he doesn't really like to whack it too often or that he's not really into someone else or that he's not really just wanting a way out or that he's not really just saying something mean and nasty. 

Seriously, where does a relationship go when the man says your vag is too big or the woman says your penis is too small?


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> What exactly is he trying to justify? That's he's not really LD or that he doesn't really like to whack it too often or that he's not really into someone else or that he's not really just wanting a way out or that he's not really just saying something mean and nasty.
> 
> Seriously, where does a relationship go when the man says your vag is too big or the woman says your penis is too small?


I have to agree with this. It seems like such an aggressive and offensive thing to say to your lover!

If my SO actually said my vag was too big for him, I'd open the door and tell him to walk out of it so he could find a vag more to his liking.


----------



## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

I doubt he said it to be mean. She probably asked him to tell the truth, so I'm assuming he reluctantly said something. I'd much rather my spouse be brutally honest with me, even if it stings. You can't fix something if you don't know there's an issue.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Laila8 said:


> I doubt he said it to be mean. She probably asked him to tell the truth, so I'm assuming he reluctantly said something. I'd much rather my spouse be brutally honest with me, even if it stings. You can't fix something if you don't know there's an issue.


Maybe not mean for mean's sake but who knows. It is likely that he said this to provide a reason for some question she was asking. I can think of a lot of blame shifting or resentful reasons someone would say something like this to their partner but I can't imagine many sincere reasons for those words to ever be uttered to someone you love. Not being able to keep it up or for not being able to finish for example is something some guys may be embarrassed over and search for an excuse. Still doesn't make it any less hurtful.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

norajane said:


> I have to agree with this. It seems like such an aggressive and offensive thing to say to your lover!



Truth sometimes hurts. How do you sugarcoat it? 




> If my SO actually said my vag was too big for him, I'd open the door and tell him to walk out of it so he could find a vag more to his liking.


I seriously doubt he said it like that. With that kind of attitude, your SO might be afraid to speak frankly to you about anything.

The OP was not clear, but this could easily be a problem of him being too small rather than she being too large, or even a combination of the two.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> I can think of a lot of blame shifting or resentful reasons someone would say something like this to their partner but I can't imagine many sincere reasons for those words to ever be uttered to someone you love.


Maybe he is very small, possibly even has a micropenis (google it). That's a pretty darn sincere reason, and not something he enjoys mentioning, I'm sure.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

What part of "can't imagine many sincere reasons" was unclear?


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

This is not the perfect solution but you can stimulate him with your hand while he's thrusting. An upside down "V" with your pointer and middle finger on either side of him might provide a little extra friction. Try other finger positions/strokes too. If he enjoys his scrotum being played with you might do that as well. Again, not the perfect solution but it might give him more pleasure and enough stimulation to get over the top. Good luck.


----------



## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Prop a dense pillow under your behind It will help him get a better angle or under him if you like to be on top It's free and easy


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Kegels and ben wa balls will work to tighten your vaginal walls and the muscles that support them. They need exercise much like other parts of our body.

For extreme tightening, you can douche with alum in sterilized water but it can be overdone to the point of painful.


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

The Rare Truth about "Tight" and "Loose" Women

Why Kegels Don't Work

Stop Doing Kegels: Real Pelvic Floor Advice For Women (and Men) | Breaking Muscle


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

TCSRedhead said:


> Kegels and ben wa balls will work to tighten your vaginal walls and the muscles that support them. They need exercise much like other parts of our body.
> 
> For extreme tightening, you can douche with alum in sterilized water but it can be overdone to the point of painful.


I've heard the alum trick from the old days... I was a kiddo, don't know how it got in my ear.


----------



## kilgore (Dec 14, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> the only thing I can think of would be a ton of kegels. Well you can also do it flat doggy style.Your legs would be somewhat closed and that would give the sensation of it feeling tighter for him.You can squeeze your thighs together more if he still needs it tighter.
> I always thought a well toned vag would accommodate most penis sizes unless it's an usually thin penis.


i agree. i have a pretty little penis and this sort of thing can only help, i would think.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, if he told you, he shot himself in the foot because this will eff with your head. Every time you start to have sex.

It did with me. I'd worry I was too loose and dry up like the sahara desert.

Maybe he's too small. Don't know why you're too big. Funny how he didn't go there.

This irritates me because it's just....rude. 

No one else has ever complained...


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

AlphaProvider said:


> I've heard the alum trick from the old days... I was a kiddo, don't know how it got in my ear.


*shrug* It works.


----------



## kilgore (Dec 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Well, if he told you, he shot himself in the foot because this will eff with your head. Every time you start to have sex.
> 
> It did with me. I'd worry I was too loose and dry up like the sahara desert.
> 
> ...


agreed. the chivalrous thing for him to do was assume he had a small penis. etiquette, people.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

kilgore said:


> agreed. the chivalrous thing for him to do was assume he had a small penis. etiquette, people.


It would be chivalrous, but like their are different sizes to the male organ, there are different sizes to the female vagina.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

that_girl said:


> Well, if he told you, he shot himself in the foot because this will eff with your head. Every time you start to have sex.
> 
> It did with me. I'd worry I was too loose and dry up like the sahara desert.
> 
> Maybe he's too small. Don't know why you're too big. Funny how he didn't go there.



We don't know if he "went there" or not. Everyone is assuming that the OP's husband was "complaining" that her vagina was too large. *But she never said anything of the sort!!* All she said was quote: _"my vagina is too big for him"_. No mention whatsoever whether he brought it up, or if he ever complained or if the couple even discussed the issue.

Funny how when people read letters, they often assume the worst scenario possible.


----------



## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

Theseus said:


> We don't know if he "went there" or not. Everyone is assuming that the OP's husband was "complaining" that her vagina was too large. *But she never said anything of the sort!!* All she said was quote: _"my vagina is too big for him"_.* No mention whatsoever whether he brought it up, or if he ever complained or if the couple even discussed the issue.*
> 
> Funny how when people read letters, they often assume the worst scenario possible.


She also mentioned that "he says he can't feel anything during sex." Sounds like a complaint to me. 

Now, she very well could have automatically taken this to be her problem, since, in her words, "he can't get big" so she's trying to get smaller....but I highly doubt he said he can't feel a thing bc he's too small I think it's a pretty sh!tty thing to say to someone...that you can't feel a thing during sex. Say that to a man and see if he has a hard time getting it up the next round.


----------



## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

sexhelpplease said:


> He says he can't feel anything during sex. We are very sexual, and will try new things. He can't get larger. I don't want our sex life to disappear. That's a very important part in a relationship. I've thought of tightening exercises, creams. Do these work? Lube to make it more sensitive for him. What are other things we could do as a couple? Watch each other masterbate, use toys, etc. Any ideas welcome. Thank you.


Tell him his penis is too little, and that is why it seems too big.


I mean, seriously. The vagina is an elastic organ - it stretches and contracts. Is it really ever "too big" for someone unless they have a micropenis?


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

MrsDraper said:


> Tell him his penis is too little, and that is why it seems too big.
> 
> 
> I mean, seriously. The vagina is an elastic organ - it stretches and contracts. Is it really ever "too big" for someone unless they have a micropenis?


Not so sure that advice is constructive. He said something that did hurt her. She can choose to work on the marriage or get into a pissing match. 

Some women do not have good support muscles or elasticity in their vagina. That's why the kegel recommendations and Ben wa balls.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I know folks want to jump on the band wagon to claim he's a jerk. It sounds like his delivery was awful but it sounds like he's trying to communicate with the OP about a problem with the sexual activity. 

Don't we all want open and honest communication? Is it better that he just withdraws from sex and becomes distant?


----------



## MrsDraper (May 27, 2013)

TCSRedhead said:


> Not so sure that advice is constructive. He said something that did hurt her. She can choose to work on the marriage or get into a pissing match.
> 
> Some women do not have good support muscles or elasticity in their vagina. That's why the kegel recommendations and Ben wa balls.


I vote pissing match! :smthumbup:

Seriously though. The only thing I can think of is either the partner has a micropenis (real medical condition) or_ maybe _the OP has had several children - and if so, that isn't her fault. Her partner should be more constructive and nicer to her. Even when I worked OB/GYN - women who had many babies just usually had more - fold? But the skin is still elastic. Does that make sense? I wouldn't totally be blaming the OP here - her partner needs social skills...:rofl:


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

MrsDraper said:


> I vote pissing match! :smthumbup:
> 
> Seriously though. The only thing I can think of is either the partner has a micropenis (real medical condition) or_ maybe _the OP has had several children - and if so, that isn't her fault. Her partner should be more constructive and nicer to her. Even when I worked OB/GYN - women who had many babies just usually had more - fold? But the skin is still elastic. Does that make sense? I wouldn't totally be blaming the OP here - her partner needs social skills...:rofl:


Hard to know about the social skills really. How do you tactfully message that your partners vagina isn't really as right anymore? Just sayin...

I know a number of women in LA that have even opted for surgical assistance. There are other options and not all women voice back so well after childbirth without help. That's why there are petite, regular and super size tampons. 

Me? I can't use super but I know women who swear they can't use slim ones so clearly one size does not fit all.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Mrs.Draper they say Mr.Draper is packing a hammer himself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

TCSRedhead said:


> Not so sure that advice is constructive. He said something that did hurt her. She can choose to work on the marriage or get into a pissing match.
> 
> Some women do not have good support muscles or elasticity in their vagina. That's why the kegel recommendations and Ben wa balls.


:iagree: Actually this comment is very logical. It's always better to look for solution.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I would like to play devil's advocate here, if I may!

My SO has a larger than average vagina. I am slightly above average (according to what I have read/heard).

The OP's SO does not necessarily have a small penis, and I am surprised at how quickly this thread "went there", with the assumption that is he who has the issue, not her. (which may very well be the case, but nonetheless).

Sex with my partner is great, and it works, and I have nothing to complain about. *Most* penises will fit *most* vaginas well enough to provide pleasure for each partner, as we all know. However -as some of us know from experience - some just don't fit well with us. Large penis + tight vagina = uncomfortable for the woman. Small penis + larger vagina = less feeling for both parties.

But to take the side of the OP here, an average (or slightly above, in some cases) penis will not always be a "perfect fit" either, unfortunately.

Just as some men are enormous, women can have the same issue. As we all know, men who have this, are considered "lucky", however women who are in the same boat, so to speak, are obviously not. (as an aside, men who are well above average in size aren't always that thrilled with their "gift", as it's not always easy to find a good fit... so it's not that great of a thing to have, as I understand it!)

As I said, in my case, I am a bit bigger than average, and my SO is larger than that. It's not a great fit, but it works well enough that neither of us have complaints.

In the OP's case, it appears that she does really have a much larger than average vagina, and it's likely coupled with her SO having a smaller than average penis. But to assume "micropenis" is jumping to conclusions in a big way (no pun intended).

I can honestly say that if I had just a little bit less size, my SO and I would likely encounter similar problems.

(and for what it's worth, I was her first, way back when we were teenagers, and we've reconnected after about 15 years. She was on the larger side back then, too, so it's not a case of stretching, childbirth, or anything like that. Some women just have naturally large vaginas, the same as men have large penises)


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s (Mar 28, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> :iagree: SO masturbated frequently before we became sexually active together and he lost some sensitivity in his penis bc of that


Is that a thing??


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

My wife always thought her vagina was too large....It was not, it was, and is, absolutely PERFECT....

And yet she still insists it is big....Same with her labia, they are tiny, like rose petals, she thinks they are big and ugly.....

If I had one wish, it would be that she could get past her negative body image.....

If I point out how I have always been extremely attracted to her, she would rather think I am an over sexed perv, than that she is an extremely desirable woman....

the woodchuck


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I know folks want to jump on the band wagon to claim he's a jerk. It sounds like his delivery was awful but it sounds like he's trying to communicate with the OP about a problem with the sexual activity.
> 
> Don't we all want open and honest communication? Is it better that he just withdraws from sex and becomes distant?


:iagree::iagree:


----------



## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Wow hope the OP comes back. I'm seeing a lot of that lately, people posting asking a question, they get lots of feedback, but wont return.


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> Wow hope the OP comes back. I'm seeing a lot of that lately, people posting asking a question, they get lots of feedback, but wont return.


I was just thinking the same thing, and given my cynicism, I am looking under the bridge for her (him)?


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

norajane said:


> I can't believe this would be at all healthy. Douching itself is unhealthy - it pushes bacteria up into the vagina and can cause bacterial infections.
> 
> And alum? That shouldn't be inserted into a vagina! WTF?



Not an endorsement. Simply passing on what I have witnessed.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

norajane said:


> I can't believe this would be at all healthy. Douching itself is unhealthy - it pushes bacteria up into the vagina and can cause bacterial infections.
> 
> And alum? That shouldn't be inserted into a vagina! WTF?



It's (alum) used in small amounts and in sterilized water. Been there, done that. No infections or any other side effects or issues.

Alum is a common ingredient used in pickling.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

TCSRedhead said:


> It's (alum) used in small amounts and in sterilized water. Been there, done that. No infections or any other side effects or issues.
> 
> Alum is a common ingredient used in pickling.


a pickled vagina? hmmmm i could run with that.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

LOL - I had a woman tell me about it years ago so I had tried it with the ex. The only word of caution is that TOO much makes it, well, painful to have anything (even a finger) inserted. 

Use with caution.


----------



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

TCSRedhead said:


> It's (alum) used in small amounts and in sterilized water. Been there, done that. No infections or any other side effects or issues.


I'll pass this bit along to the STBXW.... useful information for her future! :rofl:


----------



## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

The double standard is alive and well here at TAM. 
Too small a penis? Ha ha ha ha!
Too big a vagina? What a outrageous thing to say!!
A good fit is optimum. A poor fit will lead to 
different problems.
That's how it goes. (everybody knows)


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I've dated and screwed more women than I'd like to admit in my post divorce years and I can tell you from personal experience that not all VJs are created equally when it comes to size of the opening aka "tightness".

I'm a reasonably good size and the fit is usually snug and just about right but one chick, she happened to be an Asian with 4 kids was just like screwing a mop bucket and when she was wet, forget about it. It was hard to stay stimulated enough to keep an erection going. 

Anal sex and BJs got me by, but the ultimate cure was that I traded her in for a tighter model.


----------



## jay_gatsby (Jun 4, 2013)

TCSRedhead said:


> LOL - I had a woman tell me about it years ago so I had tried it with the ex. The only word of caution is that TOO much makes it, well, painful to have anything (even a finger) inserted.
> 
> Use with caution.


Alum should not be used on any mucus membranes, esp a vagina! It is very caustic and used for many things, mostly on non-living tissue, like pickling as someone else said above, stopping bleeding... etc.

"Alum has several household and industrial uses. Potassium alum is used most often, although ammonium alum, ferric alum and soda alum may be used for many of the same purposes.

* purification of drinking water as a chemical flocculant
* in styptic pencil to stop bleeding from minor cuts
* adjuvant in vaccines (chemical that enhances immune response)
* deodorant "rock"
* pickling agent to help keep pickles crisp
* flame retardant
* the acidic component of some types of baking powder
* an ingredient in some homemade and commercial modeling clay
* an ingredient in some depilatory (hair removal) waxes
* skin whitener
* ingredient in some brands of toothpaste 

All forms of alum can cause irritation of the skin and mucous membranes. Breathing alum can cause lung damage. Aluminum also may attack lung tissue. Because it's a salt, eating massive amounts of alum can make you sick. Usually ingesting alum will make you vomit, but if you could keep it down, the alum could upset the ionic equilibrium in your bloodstream, just like overdosing on any other electrolyte. However, the primary concern with alum is longterm exposure to low levels of the chemical. Aluminum, from your diet or healthcare product, can cause degeneration of nervous system tissue. It is possible exposure to aluminum could lead to an increased risk of certain cancers, brain plaques or Alzheimer's Disease. "


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Interesting considering its ingested. Your references cite using it straight or in large doses or heavy usage. Just sharing what I know. YMMV


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

From pharmacy school; "the dose is the poison"


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Btw, this is another thread that an OP posted once and hasn't been back since...

C


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

It was pretty likely not a genuine person. Oh well.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

ugh that is so fcking annoying and a waste of time.


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

alexm said:


> I would like to play devil's advocate here, if I may!
> 
> My SO has a larger than average vagina. I am slightly above average (according to what I have read/heard).
> 
> ...


Yeah i've noticed that to. Everyone assumes he is the issue when that might not be the case. 70-75% of men are at 6 or below 6 inches and 95% are below 7 inches. and 70% of men are at or below 5 inches in girth; so an average man could rightfully make a claim that a vagina is "too" loose. In addition I guarantee you that most men who have slept around will tell you that some women are tighter than others. Now obviously the vagina can expand, but the talk of "it can fit a baby through it" is irrelevant when a woman is not pregnant, considering during pregnancy a million things change and happen to a woman so as to eventually allow a baby to pass through. 

I can't find the study. but I read one once on female vagina size when aroused, and remember reading that a portion of the female population has an above average vagina size. 

On another note. Even well endowed male pornstars have mentioned some female pornstars having "loose" vaginas. Now its understandable given what female pornstars do, and hence many of them get their vagina's tightened. However, my point being is that, you can be above average size and still feel the vagina is loose. However to say that you can't "feel anything" just baffles me, although I imagine he is not being completely literal when he say's that.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Have you ever considered that a percentage of vagina's are very large and spacious?


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

Goldmember357 said:


> Yeah i've noticed that to. Everyone assumes he is the issue when that might not be the case. 70-75% of men are at 6 or below 6 inches and 95% are below 7 inches. and 70% of men are at or below 5 inches in girth; so an average man could rightfully make a claim that a vagina is "too" loose. In addition I guarantee you that most men who have slept around will tell you that some women are tighter than others. Now obviously the vagina can expand, but the talk of "it can fit a baby through it" is irrelevant when a woman is not pregnant, considering during pregnancy a million things change and happen to a woman so as to eventually allow a baby to pass through.
> 
> I can't find the study. but I read one once on female vagina size when aroused, and remember reading that a portion of the female population has an above average vagina size.
> 
> On another note. Even well endowed male pornstars have mentioned some female pornstars having "loose" vaginas. Now its understandable given what female pornstars do, and hence many of them get their vagina's tightened. However, my point being is that, you can be above average size and still feel the vagina is loose. However to say that you can't "feel anything" just baffles me, although I imagine he is not being completely literal when he say's that.


If he has a slim piece, and she's on the top end of the bell curve as far as vagina's go. And she gets aroused and it relaxes and opens more, he may not feel much if anything at all. He may know he's inside a vagina but feel zero friction.


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

I am average and my wife is average and 75% of the time for me the fit is nice. I honestly think that through open communication in the bedroom and both partners paying close attention to how the vagina reacts during activities will help a lot of folks out. My wife has multiple orgasms with me every time. Some oral, some fingers, some insertion. Sometimes multiples with just one of any of those as well. Here is the thing, I have had times when I get her going with my fingers, that I can feel her open up like crazy. I mean I could put three of me in there if I tried. certainly she at those moments if we are having intercourse, she loses sensitivity and I lose feeling anything but the "wet mop" feeling. It used to frustrate me at times and honestly would wish I was larger, but then I started to realize if I did other things it would shrink back and the inside walls would get puffy as her arousal level rose. Obviously she was very aroused for it to open up so much, but it also changed to tighter a few minutes later if I changed up what I was doing. So I paid closer attention to those times and what I was doing. Now I can control it for her much more. If she is opening too much, I change up what I am doing and allow her vagina a minute to cool down sort of speak. I concentrate more on other areas, outside and just barely inside of her and it will react to the change.
Woman help me out here...explain a bit from your experience, so more guys know what to look for and clarify if you can for me. I know as a guy I am coming off like I know all about vaginas and I clearly do not. I just know my wife and she appreciates it daily.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

This thread still going after the OP made a "drive by" visit?


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> This thread still going after the OP made a "drive by" visit?


OP is of no importance to this thread any longer. many others have come on and are talking so the thread is valid. IMO


----------



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Oh well, since it's a dead thread, I'll just throw in another tribute to my wife's glorious vagina!!!!!!!

the woodchuck


----------



## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Oh well, since it's a dead thread, I'll just throw in another tribute to my wife's glorious vagina!!!!!!!
> 
> the woodchuck


I agree. Her vagina is glorious.

Sorry Woodchuck....couldn't resist. Left that door wide open.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

nogutsnoglory said:


> I agree. Her vagina is glorious.
> 
> Sorry Woodchuck....couldn't resist. *Left that door wide open*.


So it really is too big huh?


----------



## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I know folks want to jump on the band wagon to claim he's a jerk. It sounds like his delivery was awful but it sounds like he's trying to communicate with the OP about a problem with the sexual activity.
> 
> Don't we all want open and honest communication? Is it better that he just withdraws from sex and becomes distant?


As something I've struggled a bit with, I'll say this...perhaps the delivery could have been better. But, as you said, is it better for the guy to close off, become distant, and lose interest in sex? 

I made a post about this very thing recently. As I've said, I struggled with it. Not an easy thing to bring up, no matter how gently it is done. Fortunately for us, she took it pretty well, and we are both working on it. Just the fact that she IS working on it means the world to me. She took it pretty much in a "matter of fact" way because of the way I explained it to her, and she is dealing with it. As am I. I, also, am doing things to make it better. We're not "there" yet, but just the communication and effort on both our parts seems to be going a long damn way.

And the double standard is ridiculous. Why is it, that many people's first reaction is "he's an azzhole", and "if my H said that, he'd be out the door", or "I'd tell him I'm not too big, he just has a small d!ck"? 

I find it utterly baffling that so many relationships lack any decent communication, but if a guy tries to communicate something like this, suddenly he's got a micro-penis or is an azzhole, and the concern is to be taken as a personal attack and affront to be dealt with by leaving the scoundrel who dared to be honest and try to make things better. Really, assuming you have an otherwise great relationship, is the communicating about this one issue worth ditching the rest of it versus coming up with solutions?

Just as with men, some women are larger (or smaller) than others. And a guy does not need to have a small "unit" to feel the effects (or lack thereof) of a larger vagina. A tight vagina will feel tight to even the smallest of guys. A loose one will feel loose to even the largest of guys, because the majority of women are just simply not loose. It's all relative to ones own experiences. 

I've been with, off the top of my head, somewhere around 30 women in my life. Two of them were "loose". One of those two is my wife I love dearly. What...because she's not tight, I should "move on" and "find someone more suitable"? Screw that, she's the love of my life! What kind of disservice would I be doing to both of us by being "chivalrous" and keeping my yap shut about it, if something can possibly be done about it?

I WAS withdrawing from sex and becoming distant...because I feared bringing it up to her. I saw it happening, and knew I had to be honest (as we always have been) and act on it if we were to get back to having a completely fulfilling relationship in all aspects. Or, short of that, just keep it in and risk losing this relationship. She didn't know why I was losing interest, and was left guessing. Is THAT more "fair" or "chivalrous"...leaving her wondering what was "wrong", than just coming clean and telling her the truth? Letting the relationship degrade to a point of collapse, leaving her to wonder "why", because I didn't have the balls to tell her why? Or because I thought her not every bit of the woman I believed she was to handle it (the truth)?

Sometimes the phuckin' truth hurts. Goes both ways. Sometimes there's gotta be a little pain to keep things healthy. "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" comes to mind as a decent analogy.

Were the roles reversed, and I had a small d!ck that wasn't "enough" for her, I'd damn well hope she'd tell me, as ego crushing or painful as it might be, so I could work on some other "mad skills" to keep her freakin' happy and from wanting "something more". (BTW, have some experience THERE as a result of performance anxiety ED. I made DAMN SURE, despite that, I was the best lover she ever had). 

Communication and honesty. If you don't have that, you have nothing.


----------



## AlphaProvider (Jul 8, 2013)

donny64 said:


> As something I've struggled a bit with, I'll say this...perhaps the delivery could have been better. But, as you said, is it better for the guy to close off, become distant, and lose interest in sex?
> 
> I made a post about this very thing recently. As I've said, I struggled with it. Not an easy thing to bring up, no matter how gently it is done. Fortunately for us, she took it pretty well, and we are both working on it. Just the fact that she IS working on it means the world to me. She took it pretty much in a "matter of fact" way because of the way I explained it to her, and she is dealing with it. As am I. I, also, am doing things to make it better. We're not "there" yet, but just the communication and effort on both our parts seems to be going a long damn way.
> 
> ...


Some of the looseness was due to a large and spacious internal capacity.

Other times it was poor and lazy muscle tone.

In either case, it would be a good thing for large and poor muscle tone vagina's to perform excersizes to improve muscular tone, control and response. 

It's a good thing anyway to have anyway.

There is a such thing as "too tight" too.


----------



## Mr Experience (Oct 17, 2014)

Lets clear something up. Unless he is 2-4 inches, he is not small.
I am nearly 8 inches long, 5 inches girth. My wife and I have a similar problem. Her Sexual past included lots of well endowed men. (Coke Can girth and deodorant can length) 
Whether this is to blame, or whether she was always big down there, the fact is she is big down there and even at my size which most would agree that whilst not massive, its certainly not small I cannot feel a thing within a few minutes of having sex. Once she becomes aroused, gets wet and expands inside (which happens within a few minutes) sex with her for me does nothing and I seldomly am able to reach orgasm from it.
My only saving grace is that I can make her orgasm through penetration because of my size and shape which has been the case for a lot of women I have been with in my past. I seem to be able to hit her g spot easily enough. Both her and I can feel the space between her genitals and mine during sex but since I cannot reach orgasm myself I have to focus on giving her an orgasm before I go soft from lack of friction and sensation. Like the original poster we are sexually very active. However the space and the lack of friction is a problem for us both. Do I love her yes. Does she love me. Yes. But even without talking about it, the problem is there and is undeniable. No position makes a difference. Not even her on top. As a test, to see exacly what would be a snug fit, we tried different objects finally arriving at a deodorant can. 6.25 inches in circumference measured with a tape measure is what it took to feel snug. Kegels, multiple orgasms from g spot have done nothing to make the fit better. So can a woman be too big? Yes they can. Does every vagina simply adapt to be snug around whatever is inside it? No. Certainly not. Any man with enough varied experience can confirm that.
The best advice I can give any woman is to test yourself with fingers or objects or what ever you feel comfortable with. If you can fit 3-4 of your fingers in with little to no resistance your vaginal muscles are way too relaxed and need attention.
Visit a gynaecologist, eat better, exercise, train etc. Fix the problem before it gets too bad. It may be too late for my wife because she didn't focus on it in her past. Now she cannot satisfy the man she truly loves.

Think about it ladies.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Goldmember357 said:


> Yeah i've noticed that to. Everyone assumes he is the issue when that might not be the case. 70-75% of men are at 6 or below 6 inches and 95% are below 7 inches. and 70% of men are at or below 5 inches in girth; so an average man could rightfully make a claim that a vagina is "too" loose. In addition I guarantee you that most men who have slept around will tell you that some women are tighter than others. Now obviously the vagina can expand, but the talk of "it can fit a baby through it" is irrelevant when a woman is not pregnant, considering during pregnancy a million things change and happen to a woman so as to eventually allow a baby to pass through.
> 
> I can't find the study. but I read one once on female vagina size when aroused, and remember reading that a portion of the female population has an above average vagina size.
> 
> On another note. Even well endowed male pornstars have mentioned some female pornstars having "loose" vaginas. Now its understandable given what female pornstars do, and hence many of them get their vagina's tightened. However, my point being is that, you can be above average size and still feel the vagina is loose. However to say that you can't "feel anything" just baffles me, although I imagine he is not being completely literal when he say's that.


Just like c0ck sizes are tiny-small-avg-large-huge, it's the same for vaginas. A huge mismatch either way will not be a very pleasureable experience.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

8"x5" is well above average, especially the girth, unless you meant centimeters


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> 8"x5" is well above average, especially the girth, unless you meant centimeters


Is that her husband? If so that's in the top 2-5% for length, slightly above avg on girth. If she needs a lot more than that, boy...


----------



## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Mr Experience said:


> eat better, exercise, train etc. Fix the problem before it gets too bad. It may be too late for my wife because she didn't focus on it in her past. Now she cannot satisfy the man she truly loves.
> 
> Think about it ladies.


Really. Just exactly what would you suggest that she eat to solve this problem?


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Zombie thread by a drive by poster.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tommy518 (Nov 28, 2011)

Seems like the best plan is to work those muscles with kagels and try positions that increase friction, typically involving the legs together or crossed. Anal works well too, for that scenario. For example, in missionary, have him straddle you on the outside with your legs together or same from behind. Or legs up in the air and crossed. Also, spend a lot of time working his nipples. Many men are afraid to ask for this, but it feels great. Talking and and giving audible feedback (F' me!) helps a lot too. Let him know you're enjoying it.

I've had this same issue somewhat with my SO. I'm a little above avg length and girth, but nothing to write home about. Pretty average. My Ex had an early menopause and tended to be dry which created much more sensation for me, but my SO is much younger and gets very very wet, especially since I almost always go down on her first and get her off. This creates much less friction for me and while it feels great, sometimes makes it hard to climax. As a result, I keep the lights on (most men are very visual) , have her play with my nipples, talk to me, and tell her what to do and when to help get me there. It sometimes seems like work, but it's always worth it.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

The keagles make some sense, although they are not going to perform magic!

If it is so unpleasant for the OP's husband, the only thing i have seen is a "hollow silicone strap on". I have no idea if they work, but the man puts his penis inside, staps it on, and the outside is much larger. 
So the man gets feeling from the inside of the toy, while the woman gets feeling from the outside of the toy. It should solve this particular problem.

AND BTW, with ebola popping up all over the world, one should EXPECT zombie threads to pop up too!


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

pidge70 said:


> ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's still revelant to many peoples fears and concerns.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

treyvion said:


> It's still revelant to many peoples fears and concerns.


Then those people should start a thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tommy518 (Nov 28, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> Then those people should start a thread.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not sure what the point of that would be. We already have one. Start date seems irrelevant.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

what, who died and made u zombie police?

I have actually been reading some of the threads 1-2 years old lately, and many are much more interesting than the stuff posting now. It must go in cycles.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> 8"x5" is well above average, especially the girth, unless you meant centimeters


Someone I'm very close to has over 6" of girth. 

It is a bit of work to get it in, I thought 5" girth was closer to average ( wasn't that 4.8"?? ).

8x5" in my eyes is a slim c0ck. Long though.


----------



## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Tommy518 said:


> I've had this same issue somewhat with my SO. I'm a little above avg length and girth, but nothing to write home about. Pretty average. My Ex had an early menopause and tended to be dry which created much more sensation for me, but my SO is much younger and gets very very wet, especially since I almost always go down on her first and get her off. This creates much less friction for me and while it feels great, sometimes makes it hard to climax. As a result, I keep the lights on (most men are very visual) , have her play with my nipples, talk to me, and tell her what to do and when to help get me there. It sometimes seems like work, but it's always worth it.


Same thing here, man.

When I met my wife about 6 years ago, I had spent a long time with someone who had a small vagina. Not freakishly small, but definitely tight and short. I routinely hit her cervix with minimal effort (not that I was trying!) The other women I had been with by that point were all around the same.

Now the first time my wife and I had sex, I noticed a difference immediately. It took a little while to get used to, but I did go through a period where I had to focus a little more in order to finish. It didn't matter after a little adjustment period. My wife is taller and bigger than average for a woman, though not "plus sized", and she's had a couple of kids and several partners before me. From everything I've read, none of that makes any difference, much like men's penis size is what it is. She has a larger than average vagina, and she always has.

And fwiw I'm just under 7 long and 6 around, so above average but not huge. And funny enough, I swear to god I never properly measured until I felt too small with my wife... lol. It started to make me wonder, for the first time in my life, if I was small and maybe just lucked out with women up until then!

She is, btw, the first woman I've ever been with that wasn't short or petite. I had never dated or slept with a woman over 5'1" or 5'2" up until then, and some of them much smaller than that (ex wife was 4'11" and 95lbs).


----------



## Tommy518 (Nov 28, 2011)

alexm said:


> Same thing here, man....
> 
> ...She is, btw, the first woman I've ever been with that wasn't short or petite. I had never dated or slept with a woman over 5'1" or 5'2" up until then, and some of them much smaller than that (ex wife was 4'11" and 95lbs).


Makes sense. My Ex was sub 5'2" and my SO is over 5'7". She's a runner and in great shape, but just a little bigger and wetter down there, I guess. I can live with it. 

PS. I did suggest kegels. She said very sarcastically "yeah, that's going to happen".


----------



## ILuvTheDesserts (Aug 29, 2014)

My wife is 5'4" and after having two children and losing the weight she gained is just 110 lbs which is about 5 lbs lighter than when I met her 16 years ago.

Her daily exercising and kegels , kegels and more kegels have made our intimacy that much better than before !


----------



## Tommy518 (Nov 28, 2011)

ILuvTheDesserts said:


> My wife is 5'4" and after having two children and losing the weight she gained is just 110 lbs which is about 5 lbs lighter than when I met her 16 years ago.
> 
> Her daily exercising and kegels , kegels and more kegels have made our intimacy that much better than before !


Good to know. Maybe I'll approach the kegel idea again. I even do them when I think of it. They're good for men too. Seems like she could put in a little effort there.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> what, who died and made u zombie police?
> 
> I have actually been reading some of the threads 1-2 years old lately, and many are much more interesting than the stuff posting now. It must go in cycles.












Zombie cop says " Resurrecting an old thread to discuss the topic seems, on the surface, appropriate. Asking the OP questions or directing your comments to the OP, however, makes Zombie Cop upset!"

However, it's always best to start your own thread in order to get as many different POV's as possible. Most people who notice it is a zombie thread don't bother posting in it.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

funny, I am watching Z nation right now. Girl just killed a zombie with a mixmaster.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

alexm said:


> Same thing here, man.
> 
> When I met my wife about 6 years ago, I had spent a long time with someone who had a small vagina. Not freakishly small, but definitely tight and short. I routinely hit her cervix with minimal effort (not that I was trying!) The other women I had been with by that point were all around the same.
> 
> ...


Yours is "thick" It would be in the upper 5-10% for thickness. My "buddy" is around the same thickness, and it is a nice fit even in ladies who have had babies. There is problem in some that it can be "too snug", haven't really had a "too loose" situation even in women who have had babies.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Someone dug up a zombie vagina thread and then it turned into a penis size thread. Of course. Because average penis size and a definition of "big" needs to be discussed REGULARLY or else people might forget it.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Someone dug up a zombie vagina thread and then it turned into a penis size thread. Of course. Because average penis size and a definition of "big" needs to be discussed REGULARLY or else people might forget it.


You know you love it.


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Someone dug up a zombie vagina thread and then it turned into a penis size thread. Of course. Because average penis size and a definition of "big" needs to be discussed REGULARLY or else people might forget it.


keep your penis close, but your enemies closer!


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Zombie police here.... closing this very old thread. Feel free to open a new discussion.


----------

