# Found his stash of condoms



## EllaBgood

What would you do if you found condoms in the house that only your husband could have brought in? We don't use them.


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## jdd

Ask him what they are for. Maybe he has a valid reason for having them.


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## EllaBgood

Such as?


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## mablenc

I'd start looking for more evidence.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias

don't talk.start searching.If you bring it up to him then you risk having him cover his tracks better then you'll never find out what's going on with him.

I'd tear my house and computers apart searching if I found condoms.


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## thunderstruck

mablenc said:


> I'd start looking for more evidence.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


^^THIS. Also, count them to see if the number goes down.

If you confront now, you'll probably get something like - "Oh those? A bud asked me to keep them for some reason." He'll take the PA underground.


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## terrence4159

poke holes in them call a lawyer and wait for the show to start in a few months with hunny i have something to tell you, then you say me 2 here are d papers


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## Wiltshireman

I doubt it is the case with this husband but we (UK military) used to be issued with condoms on deployments to cover the open end of the rifle barrel and as emergency water carriers but then again we did keep a sealed tampon along with a fire striker in our webbing.


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## IrishGirlVA

Where did you find them? Did it appear that he was purposely hiding them? 

Take note of the expiration date. That will give you a rough estimate of when they were purchased. And he won't be able to claim he had them for "years". 

I had a boyfriend once tell me that he used them while self pleasuring. Said it was "less messy". This is the same boyfriend who pitched a fit the first time we had sex when I made him wear one. Whatevs.

:slap:


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## Thor

A couple of thoughts.

Do you have any teens in the house? I bought and gave my son some condoms.

I kept some myself. My wife has been snipped so we don't use condoms. But.... there are possibilities such as oral sex to completion. She doesn't like it, so if we use a condom maybe she would let me finish. Or, in the car or other location where a condom would greatly reduce the mess.

Perhaps your hubby is hoping for some new or different encounters which a condom would make more agreeable to you.

What other factors are there for you which would make the condoms either suspicious or not? For example, I put my condoms in my nightstand drawer. If anyone opens the drawer they will see the condoms right there. So obviously they are not being hidden. Has your husband's behavior changed otherwise? Have you looked at the phone bill to see if his texting has spiked, or if he is calling one number a lot?


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## Caribbean Man

EllaBgood said:


> What would you do if you found condoms in the house that only your husband could have brought in? We don't use them.



Condoms have only ONE use, and that's for sex.
If he doesn't use condoms with you, then obviously he's using it with another woman or man.

Anyone of those options amounts to cheating.

Tell him you found his stash of condoms, tell you know that he's having sex with someone else [ especially is any of them are missing ]and demand to know the truth.

Do not accept any foolish excuses.

But be careful , he will try to make you think you're crazy.
Stick to your guns and always trust your gut.

EDIT:

Condoms have an expiry date on them. Check the expiry date to ascertain the timeline of its purchase.
In other words, if the expiry date is past, then they are old. If the condoms are still within the expiry date, then they were recently bought. Most condoms have a shelf life of between three to four years. Condoms manufactured this year would have an expiry date of 2016 - 2017. Condoms manuf lastyear would have an expiry date of 2015 - 20 16 and so on.


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## PBear

If someone says they have a box of condoms from 6 years ago, a quick check of the expiry date will give you an idea of the truth of that statement...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EllaBgood

No kids in the house. They were hidden. The expiry date isn't as interesting as the manufactured date - May '12 (first thing I checked), so they are not old. I can't check his phone bill as he has a pay-as-you-go mobile, which, incidentally, is locked with a password.


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## ScarletBegonias

maybe this thread should be moved to CWI


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## A Bit Much

Busted. Nuff said.


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## Rowan

EllaBgood said:


> No kids in the house. They were hidden. The expiry date isn't as interesting as the manufactured date - May '12 (first thing I checked), so they are not old. I can't check his phone bill as he has a pay-as-you-go mobile, which, incidentally, is locked with a password.


He has condoms that he hides from you, a pay-as-you-go phone, and has his phone password protected because he is cheating on you. 

I'm so sorry.


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## jdd

EllaBgood said:


> Such as?


The reason I thought of this is because I very recently had a minor injury where my partners ring accidentally ripped some of the delicate skin near the tip of my penis (ouch) and that area can be a little slow to heal, (especially for men who are circumcised and the skin in already a little tight and prone to irritation). 

I had her pick up some condoms so I could put on some moisturizer & neosporin and keep it there for a while and give it a chance to absorb moisture and heal. (Thought I actually ended up finding a new clean baby sock worked well for said purpose and stayed in place quite well.)

I'm guessing they would not be hidden if they were being used for something like this and you would hopefully know if there was an injury of this sorts he was dealing with.

Sorry you are having to deal with what sounds like may be a bad situation.


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## thunderstruck

IrishGirlVA said:


> I had a boyfriend once tell me that he used them while self pleasuring. *Said it was "less messy". *This is the same boyfriend who pitched a fit the first time we had sx when I made him wear one. Whatevs.


Less messy? :rofl: Cheaters come up with some crazy shyte at times.


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## DesertRat1978

Long story made short, he is busted. You don't have to know what started the fire to know that the fire is there and that it is hot.


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## A Bit Much

What would I do...

I would stuff some of his clothes and his box of condoms in a bag and when he came home ask him to get out of my sight for a while. I would use that time to get my affairs in order. And if he DIDN'T leave, I would. I would need time to process what was going on. There is only ONE explanation for having condoms. ONE.


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## badcompany

I wouldn't confront yet, key-log the computer, VAR the car, and try to find more evidence. You know that he is cheating, but if you find out with who you can nuke him and the affair instead of never having complete closure.


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## A Bit Much

LOL. I'd have complete closure in finding condoms. That's not something he could ever explain away to me.


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## IrishGirlVA

The thing that stuck out to me is the fact that the condoms she found had a manufacturing date of May 2012. That's over a year ago. It's possible he was only cheating in the last half of 2012 and any evidence she might find in way of emails is long gone. And if he's not cheating now, a VAR will not help. 

But regardless, I'm with A Bit Much on this one. 

It's time to tap into your memory bank, OP. Any weird personality changes last year? Work schedule? Out with the boys more times than usual? 

Can you check bank account records? Any unusual purchases/spending?


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## Theseus

There is one other possibility, besides cheating.

Have you two been trying to have more children? Maybe secretly he's not on board with that idea and he's been slipping on a condom before you have sex. There is no pill for men, condoms are the only reliable method of birth control we can use, short of surgery.

But if he is cheating, hey, at least he's using protection.


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## A Bit Much

Theseus said:


> There is one other possibility, besides cheating.
> 
> Have you two been trying to have more children? Maybe secretly he's not on board with that idea and he's been slipping on a condom before you have sex. There is no pill for men, condoms are the only reliable method of birth control we can use, short of surgery.



This would be a neat trick. I certainly can tell the difference between a condom and NO condom when having sex. And I'm sure many other women will say the same thing. We aren't THAT out of it in the throes of passion. 

ETA: And not to mention... I'd be like 'what are you doing?' when he tries to put it on. You are aren't THAT stealthy when it comes to this sort of thing. lol


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## CharlieParker

A Bit Much said:


> This would be a neat trick. I certainly can tell the difference between a condom and NO condom when having sex. And I'm sure many other women will say the same thing. We aren't THAT out of it in the throes of passion.


And he'd have to be very talented. We rarely used them, slipping one on is not words I'd use to describe the process. :rofl:

OP, how many were used? (Might, but not definitively, give an indication of his activity.)


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## Caribbean Man

EllaBgood said:


> No kids in the house. They were hidden. The expiry date isn't as interesting as the manufactured date - May '12 (first thing I checked), so they are not old. I can't check his phone bill as he has a pay-as-you-go mobile, which, incidentally, is locked with a password.


Then it's time run.
Not you , but him
Run him out.


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## jay1365

Does he own any male sex toys like a fleshlight? Cleanup much easier with condoms.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EllaBgood

And CWI is???


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## thunderstruck

The May '12 thing...did you have a visitor at your house a year or so ago? Maybe they hid them and left them?


A Bit Much said:


> ETA: And not to mention... I'd be like 'what are you doing?' when he tries to put it on. You are aren't THAT stealthy when it comes to this sort of thing. lol


Unless he steps out of the room to slip one on each time? But...that would be pretty obvious after a few times.


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## CharlieParker

EllaBgood said:


> And CWI is???


The Coping With Infidelity forum on this site.


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## Troubledlinda

badcompany said:


> I wouldn't confront yet, key-log the computer


How do you do that?


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## Thor

There are a number of programs out there which will log every keystroke on a computer. Many will also capture screen shots so that you can see whatever is on the screen, too. The programs will send the data to you in a way which is not detectible from the computer being monitored (email to you or available by some sort of remote access).

The process to install the software might take a while, so you need an uninterrupted period to do it. Also, very important, be certain to disable the anti-virus type programs during the install and tell the anti-virus to ignore the keylogger once it is installed. The keylogger website should have clear instructions on how to do this.

Ensure it is legal to install the keylogger. If it is your family computer in your home it should be legal. But if the computer is owned by an employer it may not be. If the monitored computer is involved in privileged data it might be illegal. For example, if the person works in the legal field, the health care field, or the financial field it could be a big problem if the monitoring is discovered.

If anything is discovered in the way of an affair do not confront yet. And never ever reveal how the data was found. Instead have a cover story such as the person left the email logged in and on the screen which you saw.


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## turnera

Put a VAR in his car, velcroed under his seat, and check it every couple days. You should have your answer soon enough.


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## questar1

The last time this happened to me, the guy was slipping them into his luggage when he traveled. 

He sure went to a lot of professional conferences....


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## Cletus

Regardless of what's going on here, there ARE men who use condoms for masturbation. No fibbin'.


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## Thor

questar1 said:


> The last time this happened to me, the guy was slipping them into his luggage when he traveled.
> 
> He sure went to a lot of professional conferences....


A coworker of mine used to slip empty condom wrappers into the suit pockets of unsuspecting coworkers. The shtf when his boss' wife found one. What a pos.


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## Rowan

Thor said:


> A coworker of mine used to slip empty condom wrappers into the suit pockets of unsuspecting coworkers. The shtf when his boss' wife found one. What a pos.


A lot of office pranks are funny. That one? Yeah, not so much. Your co-worker had a bit of a sadistic streak.


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## Married but Happy

Maybe he's a drug mule. Would that be better, or worse, if true?


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## ocotillo

LanieB said:


> About 12 years ago, I found a box of condoms hidden in our house. Same situation as you - we NEVER used them. I suspected my husband was having an affair....
> 
> When I confronted him, he said they were from before we were married. At that point, we had been married 6 years, and I had never seen them.


Sad situation, but your comment started me thinking:

Most condoms are latex based and because of that, they have a finite shelf life and an expiration date printed (sometimes in very fine print) somewhere on the foil. 

This has been the case for many years now. Shelf life varies by brand, but typically it is four years.


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## ocotillo

Thor said:


> If it is your family computer in your home it should be legal.


Always, always, always talk to an attorney first. There are over twenty states in the U.S. now with laws against this. It does not matter if the computer is jointly owned.


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## JustHer

EllaBgood, I just want to say how sorry I am for your discovery. I know this must be very hard on you. Have you been married long?

I would do as the other suggested. Get more evidence, follow him if you need to. I know this is going to be hard on you, but you will be glad for it if you need the hard proof later.

Seek the advice of an attorney. They should be able to guide you in securing your assets - If this is what you want. For some people, cheating is not a deal breaker, I guess you will have to decided if it is for you.

If it was me, I would get what ever evidence I could, seek the advice of my attorney, then lay all the evidence out on the table and just let him come home and see it laying there.

Again I am very sorry for you pain.


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## Bajarang

You people are paranoid, a lot of men use them to masterbate


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