# Looking at others to talk about sex



## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

My wife has had issues with her libido. She has been saying for a few years now that she never thinks about it, and never looks at anyone else.

Well I have tried to get her to talk more about it, and she has been hesitant. She joined a gym a few months ago, and I joined recently. I go in the morning before work, and she goes when the daycare room is open. 

Well I told her that there were a ton of people at the gym at 5 am, and I was really surprised to see that many. I also told her that the people who were there were attractive, and in really good shape. I explained that some of the men were my age and older, and that it was very motivating to see them. There was also one particular gentleman that was in the locker next to me that was in his 30's and in amazing shape. He had some attributes that my wife finds particularly attractive. I told her about that, and it seemed to strike a cord with her. 

I have been encouraging her to notice other people, because I think it's healthy. Besides, if she thinks about sex during the day, at least it's on her mind. I stand a much better chance of getting some that way (at least in my warped mind). It has worked some. I was very tired on Monday, and she was in the mood. So I went down on her, and got her off. Yesterday we had some text messaging back and forth about checking out people at the gym. She said that there isn't anyone to look at when she goes. So I was on my way home from work, and she went when the after work crowd was there. When I got home she had a wry smile, and said that she was curious and wanted to see if anyone attractive was there. She said there were a lot more people there, and it was a much better view. Well last night we stayed up and had sex. Two days in a row is not common around my house! 

Well we sent a few texts today, and the topics have been fun and light hearted. It's been a great way to ease the pressure of actions, but still setting the mood. 

I am curious to hear other's opinions on this. By encouraging her to look at others, and expand herself sexually, would anyone think that is playing with fire? I am unsure, and have tried just about everything I can think of to help in this area. This seems to have really worked for her, and well as long as she is in the mood, well it works for me too! Besides, if going to the gym everyday keeps us in shape, and our sex life improves, it seems like a win win to me...


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Dancing Nancie-

I'm all for it! My wife likes a very particular sort of guy, (she is soooo choosy), and there used to be none round where we live, but all of a sudden, a truck load moved in. So I found a certain shop where these guys like to buy their clothes. I love taking her there while I browse - and she browses also (but not amongst the clothes racks). 

I believe that it does not matter what gets a woman hot. If the relationship is solid, they will take it out on hubby later. Of course there is a playing with fire element. But with our lifestyle it is almost impossible for us to do something behind the other's back. I trust her totally to be in charge of herself. She is a very visual person, and I am happy for her to soak up the sights.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> Just tread carefully. Gyms can be dangerous places.... Glad things are going well for you guys.


Why do you think gyms are a dangerous place?


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> I'm a personal trainer. I've seen my share of affairs start up. More than you would believe. The gym where I worked had people having sex in tanning booths, the sauna, you name it. Most people are completely oblivious. Beautiful people, perfect bodies, sweat, testosterone levels high---people can crash and burn if they aren't careful. As long as you keep it in check and keep the lines of communication open, it should be fine. Why don't you just "people watch" casually? You can assess accordingly.


My wife does not like to have sex outside of safe areas. Even when we were dating, and things were hot and heavy she wouldn't. We have been doing very well with communicating about this interesting development. Just so we are clear, both of us are attractive, but far from perfect bodies... :smthumbup:


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> The gym where I worked had people having sex in tanning booths, the sauna, you name it.


C-C-Can I get a membership?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> I'm sure you could. The men there wouldn't like you though. You'd make 'em look bad. I doubt many of them retain semen. They get a quickie and they're outta there!


Geeeeeeeeez! You seem to have detailed information. Have you been looking through the keyhole or something?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> Oh, the drama. You hear much more than you want to know in a setting like that. The semen retention's a guess. No, no keyholes for me. Ignorance is bliss.


I was only joshing  You have to understand that I live for humor.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think your idea is a good one Dancing Nancie. It sounds like it is working. I think its great you are getting her out of her shell. 

Just be careful though, because the ones that say they dont like sex in strange places are the ones that want exactly that. they're just scared to ask for it because they dont know what they're doing. they want someone that'll sweep them of their feet and lead the way.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Horse breeders have a name for the mare they bring in to get the stallion in the mood. It's called a "sweetie".

They use the sweetie to get the stallion ready so the broodmare does not get injured by the amorous stallion.

Then when the time is right the broodmare gets the job done.

That said, the horse situation is a controlled experiment. You and your wife lusting after gym rats is not.

One or both of you is bound to want a stray shag one day because you've started the launch sequence.

Be careful.


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## marlborolights (Jan 21, 2009)

I agree. Sounds like fun and seems pretty innocent for now, but please be careful and definately communicate and discuss exactly where the line NOT to cross is.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

marlborolights said:


> I agree. Sounds like fun and seems pretty innocent for now, but please be careful and definately communicate and discuss exactly where the line NOT to cross is.


The only line not to cross for me, is her having sex with someone when I am not there. If she wanted to experiment with others, I would be on board with that.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> I think your idea is a good one Dancing Nancie. It sounds like it is working. I think its great you are getting her out of her shell.
> 
> Just be careful though, because the ones that say they dont like sex in strange places are the ones that want exactly that. they're just scared to ask for it because they dont know what they're doing. they want someone that'll sweep them of their feet and lead the way.


Well I don't think that is thet case with her. I have tried to sweep her in that direction when we were dating, and she told me not a chance. I have tried on many occasions since, and no dice...


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