# Antidepressants



## farside (Oct 27, 2012)

Through the course of our marriage (9 years), my wife has been on a variety of antidepressants. The prescriptions literally started the day we got married (she had depression for years but when she got insurance through me was finally able to get professional treatment).

Our sex life has varied but after the birth of our youngest 5 years ago, we go started going through significant dry spells. After his birth she had significant postpartum depression and they leveled her out with a high dose of prozac. 

Since then, our sex life has really dried up. 1-2 times a month. As you may know, a very common side effect of these types of drugs is to decrease the patient's libedo. We have talked about it both together and in couples counseling. Our couples counselor has said she should talk to her psychiatrist about modifying her meds, but the issue is that when they modify the meds, the underlying psychiatric issues get exasperated. Between regular sex and living with someone who is borderline suicidal, I'll take an irregular sex life.

Her refrain is that she is "just not into sex" but that its not me and that its the drugs. The couples counselor confirmed that this is a common issue. When we have sex she says she enjoys it and regularly orgasms. Its getting there that's the issue.

Any similar experiences? How do we shake off the pharmaceutically induced funk? Two kids under 10 certainly hasn't helped.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Raise her dopamine levels prior to sex initiation and I think you will find her arousal level will go up more quickly.

It would be a very interesting experiment if she was willing to give it a try.

Take a fast walk twice around the block, but a few houses away you start the chase. Give her a head start and if she gets there first, you owe her a solid. If you get there first she owes you a solid. Then you both agree to have sex immediately upon returning. So obviously timing is kind of important.

She should be working out at least 3 times a week to help increase her body's natural dopamine and serotonin levels anyway.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

personally, i dont believe that antidepressants are a full treatment in of themselves. yeah, they may stop the downward spiral, but instead of feeling hopeless, you feel almost nothing. how is that good?

i feel that antidepressants should only be used as a temporary fix, just a bandaid to use until you get back into the habits that keep you out of depression. its like Anon Pink said, she should be doing things to raise her dopamine levels. but what if she did that all the time anyway? would she need antidepressants if she made a habit of keeping her dopamine at healthy levels all the time?

of course im no doctor. i just see what i see.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

farside said:


> Through the course of our marriage (9 years), my wife has been on a variety of antidepressants. The prescriptions literally started the day we got married (she had depression for years but when she got insurance through me was finally able to get professional treatment).
> 
> Our sex life has varied but after the birth of our youngest 5 years ago, we go started going through significant dry spells. After his birth she had significant postpartum depression and they leveled her out with a high dose of prozac.
> 
> ...


Nothing kills your sex drive like SSRI antidepressants and the worst is Prozac for sure. These medications do such a great job of killing sexual desire that they are used by many Doctors "off label" using low doses to inhibit ejaculation in men who suffer from premature ejaculation and it works great.

But for people who are depressed most just kiss their sex lives goodbye if they are on high doses of SSRI's like Prozac and Paxil etc.

However there is one thing you can try and that's a "combination therapy" using another antidepressant that has a different chemical makeup called Wellbutrin.

Wellbutrin in most cases, will counteract the effects of SSRI's if used in combination. This is done by lowering the dose of the SSRI's and adding Wellbutrin, upping the dose slowly until the sexual side effects of the Prozac begin to disappear.

Wellbutrin is pretty amazing. Many depressed people take it by itself and it not only actually increases sexual desire it will also help you lose weight, usually about 10 to 15 lbs when you first start taking it. However it may not work by itself on some forms of depression. It is even being studied as an orgasm enhancement for women.

If you ask your Doctor about combination therapy and if it works then, with the DR's permission, slowly wean off the Prozac and see what happens. The Wellbutrin may end up keeping depression at bay all by itself and then it's bye bye sexless marriage.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

I'm sure there's a percentage of people who benefit from Antidepressants but it's the minority of those taking them. Easy diagnosis and antidepressant scripts is often a crutch that cripples people from rising to a challenge.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Sorry..... but this is absolute bull****. Antidepressants save lives man.


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## farside (Oct 27, 2012)

tdwal said:


> Wellbutrin is a good idea, it actually increased my libido. I was on it for a long time and it lost effectiveness against the depression. I am taking Vybriid now and that is the magic pill for me.
> 
> I am also in therapy, AD's are not the answer, they just numb the pain. Therapy is what can fix it and the AD's can make you able to do it.


Thanks. She also sees a psychologist weekly. I would never advocate her going off the Ned's. I agree with the prior statement that they saved her life.


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## Longtermer (Oct 1, 2014)

I have been on anti depressants for years and they did literally save my life. My husband said he got his wife back when I started taking them. Some of them do affect your sex drive but I just tried a few different ones until I found some that didn't. Therapy is important too though and it enables me to reduce my dosage.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> I'm sure there's a percentage of people who benefit from Antidepressants but it's the minority of those taking them. Easy diagnosis and antidepressant scripts is often a crutch that cripples people from rising to a challenge.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes antidepressants and other modern medicines saves lives. I'm not sure why you think anyone said otherwise.

But there's a problem in that pills are the first response to human conditions rather than the fallback. We shouldn't forget that pills are usually masking symptoms rather than fixing something. They also create side effects that often require more pills to fix which spirals too many people into having daily ****tails of medicine. We have pills for stress, pills for pain, pills for anxiety, pills for being unhappy, pills to having too much energy, pills for not having enough energy, pills for being too happy, etc. There are times when we need medicine and there are times when we lean on it too much.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's the most prevalent complaint. I don't think anyone has a reliable workaround yet.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

tdwal said:


> Said Vybriid is like a magic pill because it completely eliminated my depression allowing me to more effectively participate in therapy. Read the whole statement.


I initially read all of the comments but was in a rush posting because I was about to head out of the door and didn't search back through them so that was my fault. As I implied in the comment you quoted though, modern medicine is a great thing when used appropriately. And I understand why some people are defensive at my views that we are over medicated and over diagnosed on average because there are certainly many people (maybe you) who are diagnosed properly. There are also many however who are given false hope that a pill can fix their problems and some of them never do the human condition heavy lifting that used to get many past these problems.

I come from a family with addiction issues among other things like ADHD. The most difficult struggles are what made me stronger and I'm greatful that I got to take personal credit for overcoming those issues without giving that credit to pills and doctors. I'd like to think that thought process shaped my parenting style and is part of the reason my kids are all doing well yet most of their cousins are repeating the family cycles.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

i think antidepressants are better used like a tourniquet. you use a tourniquet to stop the hemorrhaging. it keeps you going so that you make it to better treatment, with the ultimate goal of healing. hard to do that while your bleeding out. 

antidepressants do that, but for emotional issues. its a tool to stop the emotional hemorrhaging, but the goal is to take the tourniquet off some day and heal.


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

I know you wrote this a few days ago but I'm reading and wanted to offer my experience as an example.

Basically Prozac is an old medication, there are new, better ways to treat serious depression. The other issue is that you need to have a firm clinical depression diagnosis, and make sure you are treating the right thing.

I was extremely exhausted for YEARS and on anti-depressants. When I was diagnosed with MS I noticed other sleep issues and it turns out I had a sleep disorder. I almost crashed my car going 90 mph after 12 hours of sleep. My brain just doesn't hit REM sleep during normal hours.

I don't have kids and was in a BAD marriage but sex was a huge issue for me while I took my medication. It's very frustrating to face the possibility of not having my usual HD, and dealing with 2 neurological disorders on top of it.

With that being said... start doing things without the expectation of sex and see where they go. Monitor her medication and ask questions. Look at enhancing intimacy out of the bedroom.

You sound like a good catch- I'm sure she is frustrated and scared that this is a HUGE issue in your marriage. Focus on working through it and understanding what she needs to start making sex a priority.

Oh and it helps with pain and depression


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

As'laDain said:


> personally, i dont believe that antidepressants are a full treatment in of themselves. yeah, they may stop the downward spiral, but instead of feeling hopeless, you feel almost nothing. how is that good?


FTR- it's the opposite for me. Depression makes me feel nothing, I'm not sad, just nothing. Meds make me able to feel, to cry when I need to, to laugh when I want to. They make me back to me, nothing more. They don't take away my problems or my feelings. If meds are numbing you, you aren't on the right ones/dose.
I had postpartum psychosis (hallucinations, delusions, intrusive thoughts, etc) after my first child, my brain needed fixing, the meds fixed it. No different than if I had an infection. I now have depression, anxiety, possible PTSD. Those things aren't _feelings_, they are an illness. 

But they do lower my sex drive a bit. I don't notice it much but some days I'll realize it's been a few days since an O and I didn't notice when before I would. 
It doesn't make me not want one, just kind of forget about it sometimes. But I also have found myself thinking " should I go O or let netflix continue to the next episode......." when before it was a no brainer for the first one, now eh... depends on the show 
It might just take some extra flirting/reminding to get her in the mood. Get her thinking about it first thing in the morning, keep up the flirting during the day. Help get all the other 'to do' stuff out of her head so she can just relax. But don't take it personally.


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## Justus3 (Oct 18, 2014)

Mr B said:


> Sorry..... but this is absolute bull****. Antidepressants save lives man.


:iagree:


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