# Sleeping with baby increases chance for S.I.D.S.?



## ConanHub

My son and his fiance just had my first grandson and the medical staff told them that letting the baby sleep with them, even if they don't move or roll at all, increases the risk of S.I.D.S. By 50%.

I think that is the biggest load of bull **** I have ever heard!

They are also trying to get them to not touch him very much.

This seems beyond asinine to me but I'm looking for input on this.

Touching and holding babies is a needed health issue with real evidence that it increases good health.

What do you think?


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## SentHereForAReason

The first part I can understand, the 2nd part seems beyond silly.

To elaborate on the first part. I would be scared as Hell that I would roll over onto my kid. With our first born, we brought his crib into our bedrooom so he could be right next to our bed and he could see us and we could get him quick to pick up and comfort. As time passed, we moved him back into his room and I slept on the floor until he fell asleep. I would take naps with him on my belly/chest during the day but would not sleep with him in the bed. I think it was probably not until he 1 1/2 - 2 that he slept in our bed a few times. 

I was a very over protective parent though. I would check on him and later our daughter throughout the night to make sure they were ok in their cribs, that they were still breathing, etc.


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## FrenchFry

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## EleGirl

The idea of not touching a baby much comes from phyco babble from the 1940/1950's. I shocked that any medical staff is telling anyone to not trouch their baby much anymore. It's been proven to be detrimental to a child's development.

Who is telling them this? What's their medical education level.

IMHO, a baby should be held as much as possible.


Here is an article about SIDs and baby sleeping with parents. It brings up other facts such as the parents smoking and the mother drinking alcohol.

https://www.livescience.com/34531-co-sleeping-baby-sids-risk.html

And here is one that says that in the first few months, a baby should sleep in the same room with the parents, but not in the same bed.

https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/24/health/sids-sleep-in-same-room/index.html


What is baffling is that there is known cause for why babies die of SIDs more often when they sleep in the same bed with their parents.


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## ConanHub

Thanks for the input guys. We slept with our kids with buffers or just until they were really asleep before putting them in their crib. Worked fine.

Babies just dying from being near parents while sleeping doesn't make a lot of sense.


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## ConanHub

The differences in adult beds makes sense.


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## minimalME

ConanHub said:


> They are also trying to get them to not touch him very much.


This advice is developmentally harmful, and I think it's super scary that a medical professional is advocating no touch.

I have a handout that I created during midwifery school about safe sleeping, and I can PM it to you, if you'd like to read it. It has my full name on it, so I'd rather not post it here. And I just found a typo.


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## ConanHub

minimalME said:


> This advice is developementally harmful, and I think it's super scary that a medical professional is advocating no touch.
> 
> I have a handout that I created during midwifery school about safe sleeping, and I can PM it to you, if you'd like to read it. It has my full name on it, so I'd rather not post it here. And I just found a typo.


Please do. I would appreciate it!


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## personofinterest

The not touching advice is ridiculous. Touch is VERY important to babies.

It really ISN'T safe for a newborn to sleep all night in the same bed with adults. I know it became very trendy when granola parenting (as I jokingly call it) began to rise, but we really CAN'T control whether we roll over, many adult mattresses are too soft. The bedding can be a problem. A bassinet right beside the adult bed is a safer bet.


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## FieryHairedLady

SIDS aside.

This baby needs to be touched. A baby can have failure to thrive from being neglected.

There are even preemie babies that docs said didn't have a chance to live, and moms did skin to skin bonding/holding and those babies pulled thru! 

You can't spoil a child from holding them when they are a baby too much!


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## ConanHub

Inloveforeverwithhubby said:


> SIDS aside.
> 
> This baby needs to be touched. A baby can have failure to thrive from being neglected.
> 
> There are even preemie babies that docs said didn't have a chance to live, and moms did skin to skin bonding/holding and those babies pulled thru!
> 
> You can't spoil a child from holding them when they are a baby too much!


Couldn't agree more!


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## azimuth

When I was pregnant I have to admit I really wanted to do co-sleeping. I even bought this sleeper platform type thing for the bed. But as we researched realized it was dangerous and opted for having a small crib in our room instead. I never wanted to be apart from her and I even kept her in the bassinet way longer than she should have. She wouldn't sleep anymore in it and when we set her in the big crib in her room fell right to sleep right away.

About touching, yeah of course you should! I wouldn't miss those kisses and cuddles, you only have so much time when you can hold them any time you want! I think babies seek out their parents to do that. They want to be reassured and feel safe being held. Mine was always soothed that way.


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## loveispatient

There's research out there that supports that co-sleeping increases S.I.Ds, yet, SID numbers are down (supposedly) if I recall correctly. I've got 3 kids under 5, and my youngest is 4 months. 

You can mostly definitely roll over a baby, especially if you have two people sleeping in the same bed and/or if you're so tired, and dead to the world. Babies tend to cling really close to the body, especially mom's nursing. I've co-slept with mine, and have had little cribs (i.e. Arms Co-Reach) in the room. So I've had both experiences. 

Co-sleeping makes it easier for nursing. On the other hand, having the baby next to you in a little crib (similar to the Arms Co-Reach) is also helpful because you get some sleep while the baby is in the crib. It's hard to re-position or get any quality sleep with the baby right next to you or on top of your chest.

The issue of co-sleeping, as I understand it, is related to parents who might be in the high-risk category (i.e. drinking and then blacking out, doing drugs and not aware of the situation around them) and might be unaware of what they are doing while sleeping. So if there's lowered risk, then it's doable, and I've heard more and more parents do it. Pediatricians don't like it, but you'll find more of them understanding especially in a "low risk" situation. 

I had my first lay in the bed with me, no covers on him, on his back, and he slept next to me. It made it easier to nurse. With my 4-month old, she is in bed with me, and I'm always aware of her being close. 

As for not touching the baby, that's just silly. Babies need to be held...


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## FrenchFry

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## Penny905

I can't believe they said don't touch, that is BS. Co-sleeping, I have to agree with. Infants should sleep on a firm mattress with no covers or stuffed animals etc. Co-sleeping is basically all of that. The bassinet that connects to the bed is a perfect option. Our "grandson" died of SIDS a year ago this month, I don't wish that on anyone. He slept in his own bed, which I am very thankful for. If he co-slept and this happened his parents would have been blaming it on that and never been able to live with themselves


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## ConanHub

FrenchFry said:


> They did not make baby thighs to NOT be touched, that's just ridiculous.


Hahaha! Mrs. Conan couldn't agree more with you!:grin2:


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## karole

Aren't grands just the best?


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## ConanHub

Penny905 said:


> I can't believe they said don't touch, that is BS. Co-sleeping, I have to agree with. Infants should sleep on a firm mattress with no covers or stuffed animals etc. Co-sleeping is basically all of that. The bassinet that connects to the bed is a perfect option. Our "grandson" died of SIDS a year ago this month, I don't wish that on anyone. He slept in his own bed, which I am very thankful for. If he co-slept and this happened his parents would have been blaming it on that and never been able to live with themselves


I don't want to imagine what you and your family went through! I am so sorry.
Thanks for the information.


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## KM87

ConanHub said:


> My son and his fiance just had my first grandson and the medical staff told them that letting the baby sleep with them, even if they don't move or roll at all, increases the risk of S.I.D.S. By 50%.
> 
> I think that is the biggest load of bull **** I have ever heard!
> 
> They are also trying to get them to not touch him very much.
> 
> This seems beyond asinine to me but I'm looking for input on this.
> 
> Touching and holding babies is a needed health issue with real evidence that it increases good health.
> 
> What do you think?


I agree that sleeping with baby increases risk of SIDS and suffocation greatly. But I also get that it makes life easier - especially if mama is nursing. I must admit that I've slept with all 3 of my babies in my arms for their first 6 weeks or so. However, my husband hasn't been in the bed (he's a much heavier sleeper and we both were concerned for the ramifications of that aspect. I propped my babies in my arms and am the world's lightest sleeper so I knew I would wake up if anything happened. Furthermore for #3, I am using the Owlet sock monitor. It monitors oxygen levels and pulse and alerts you to anything abnormal. I definitely slept - and continue to sleep - better with this little beauty. I highly recommend it if mom and dad are worried about sleep safety - which, really, what parent isn't, especially during the first year or two?!

Sleeping in their own space is most definitely the safest. However, SIDS can still happen. I thank the Lord for my Owlet.

Regarding the second point: it is absolutely ridiculous of the Dr to say this. This is the 21st century! Good Lord. Studies have proven that depriving babies of human contact causes delays in almost every area of development. Lack of physical contact with loving caretakers causes failure to thrive and a host of other problems as the little one grows (or doesn't!). You absolutely cannot spoil a baby by too much physical contact. It is a crucial need of theirs. That Dr is still in the dark ages, and that recommendation would most definitely cause me to seek medical care for my family elsewhere!


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## karole

Penny905 said:


> I can't believe they said don't touch, that is BS. Co-sleeping, I have to agree with. Infants should sleep on a firm mattress with no covers or stuffed animals etc. Co-sleeping is basically all of that. The bassinet that connects to the bed is a perfect option. Our "grandson" died of SIDS a year ago this month, I don't wish that on anyone. He slept in his own bed, which I am very thankful for. If he co-slept and this happened his parents would have been blaming it on that and never been able to live with themselves


My grandson just turned one. My daughter was petrified of SIDs, so I bought her an Owlet for the baby. It brought her a little peace of mind, I wish I'd had one of them when my daughter was a baby.

https://owletcare.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-dDb8fr-3AIVDZBpCh0r4wRVEAAYASAAEgIFyvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds


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## karole

KM87 said:


> I agree that sleeping with baby increases risk of SIDS and suffocation greatly. But I also get that it makes life easier - especially if mama is nursing. I must admit that I've slept with all 3 of my babies in my arms for their first 6 weeks or so. However, my husband hasn't been in the bed (he's a much heavier sleeper and we both were concerned for the ramifications of that aspect. I propped my babies in my arms and am the world's lightest sleeper so I knew I would wake up if anything happened. Furthermore for #3, I am using the Owlet sock monitor. It monitors oxygen levels and pulse and alerts you to anything abnormal. I definitely slept - and continue to sleep - better with this little beauty. I highly recommend it if mom and dad are worried about sleep safety - which, really, what parent isn't, especially during the first year or two?!
> 
> Sleeping in their own space is most definitely the safest. However, SIDS can still happen. I thank the Lord for my Owlet.
> 
> Regarding the second point: it is absolutely ridiculous of the Dr to say this. This is the 21st century! Good Lord. Studies have proven that depriving babies of human contact causes delays in almost every area of development. Lack of physical contact with loving caretakers causes failure to thrive and a host of other problems as the little one grows (or doesn't!). You absolutely cannot spoil a baby by too much physical contact. It is a crucial need of theirs. That Dr is still in the dark ages, and that recommendation would most definitely cause me to seek medical care for my family elsewhere!


KM, I'm sorry, I didn't see your post about the Owlet until after I posted. We must have been writing at the same time!  My daughter's OB actually recommended the Owlet to her. Best money I ever spent.


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## Maxwedge 413

Every year a new study comes out saying the opposite of the previous year's study, just like consumption of eggs and coffee. But to be clear, crushing and smothering caused by cosleeping is not SIDS. SIDS is what they list it as when they can't explain why your baby stopped breathing. Woke up and baby was expired in his crib with no clear cause? SIDS. Woke up with baby under your fat drunk ass? Suffocation. It is advisable not to cosleep with a new tiny infant, for all the reasons listed, but crushing is not SIDS.


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## peacem

ConanHub said:


> Thanks for the input guys. We slept with our kids with buffers or just until they were really asleep before putting them in their crib. Worked fine.
> 
> Babies just dying from being near parents while sleeping doesn't make a lot of sense.


So did we on the advice of midwives. Both were very good sleepers as children - no problems with sleep at all. Babies need closeness.


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## john117

Our cat has never slept alone either. He simply lays on the bed with the designated sleep buddy then snuggles. Works perfectly. 

Worked well with our kids too after the first few weeks. King size bed, plenty of space. 

To the credit of felines, they snuggle much better than babies.


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## Adelais

I say malarkey to both crazy ideas.

Like someone else said, smothering one's baby because they are passed out drunk is suffocation, not SIDS.

I was a light sleeper and if I was also sleepy I nursed all my children lying down..and I fell asleep with the babies. When nursing a baby with a toddler who needed a nap we'd make a "mommy sandwich" with me in the middle.

Later on I realized I could sleep a lot better if I moved the baby out of my bed as soon as it fell asleep.

As to holding children "too much"? Babies absolutely need to be touched and loved on a lot! It is essential to their sense of well being and development. They will push mama and daddy away soon enough when they don't need touch as much anymore.


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## GHaynes

That's incorrect. Sleeping with baby increases the chance of suffocation. Big difference. SIDS is when the baby stops breathing for no apparent reason. Bed sharing can be dangerous but isn't always. It's completely their call. If they're not comfortable with it, they shouldn't do it. Either way, get them a Snuza. It clips on the diaper and sets off an alarm if it doesn't detect movement for 20 seconds. No matter where the baby sleeps, it's a load off of a tired parent's mind.


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## frusdil

Co sleeping if done safely - that is neither parent is sick, overtired or been drinking, can be a huge benefit to both parents and bub.

The other advice is just ridiculous! You can NEVER cuddle a baby too much. Never. It's hugely detrimental to their development if they're not cuddled and touched. Babies were made to cuddle and kiss...those chunky little thighs, little bellies, the backs of their little necks, the soft top of their precious little heads...omg :x


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## jimeni

Agree with what others have posted. Unsure why they would recommend not holding a baby.

As far as not cosleeping, I have to say I am against it, although your mileage may vary. There will be many parents who will tell you they coslept and had no issues but I just had to meet one parent who coslept and had to bury their baby because of it to change my mind. And no, they were not drunk or careless. They just read about how many other parents do it safely as long as no extra blankets, pillows, etc and figured they would be fine as well. They weren't. It would be silly to say cosleeping is just as safe as baby next to the bed in a crib. Somewhat safer with those cosleeping bumper gadgets, perhaps, but at that point why not just do an Arm's Reach Bassinet or something similar?

And suffocation is a real risk. I just saw a story going around Facebook again about a 7 month old baby who suffocated in his crib because mom put him to bed with blankets. At that age, parents are less vigilant about suffocation hazards, but it can still happen. Scary and sad.  

SIDS is a separate and less understood issue. Studies have correlated a number of things to increasing the risk of SIDS but since we don't really know what SIDS is, we may very well be classifying several separate issues under this 'SIDS umbrella' and so it is hard to know what may cause what. In general, baby on their back in their own sleep space on a firm mattress is considered safest.


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## 269370

ConanHub said:


> My son and his fiance just had my first grandson and the medical staff told them that letting the baby sleep with them, even if they don't move or roll at all, increases the risk of S.I.D.S. By 50%.
> 
> I think that is the biggest load of bull **** I have ever heard!
> 
> They are also trying to get them to not touch him very much.
> 
> This seems beyond asinine to me but I'm looking for input on this.
> 
> Touching and holding babies is a needed health issue with real evidence that it increases good health.
> 
> What do you think?


I think don't get involved too much in other people's upbringing/convictions etc, you might be setting the scene for future conflict. I am sure they have done all the googling etc.

(Man, the title of the thread - Sleeping with baby...- scared the **** out of me! Please don't do that!!!)


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## personofinterest

I will confess that I don't understand people's insistence on placing an 8 pound human who cannot even roll over in the same bed with 2 150 plus humans who can fall into a deep sleep. Just like I don't understand people who are reluctant and even refuse to protect their young children from life threatening diseases. I don't get it, and I never will.


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## 269370

If it’s of any help, I once stayed on a farm and slept with 8 chicks in bed (yeah, I wish...it was the yellow kind:  )

Next morning I woke up to the following situation: =  

Sorry it’s morbid to mention this in this context but I still think you should just let them get on with it.


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## 269370

ConanHub said:


> Thanks for the input guys. We slept with our kids with buffers or just until they were really asleep before putting them in their crib. Worked fine.
> 
> 
> 
> Babies just dying from being near parents while sleeping doesn't make a lot of sense.




It does. And they do. Plus baby will get used to sleeping and falling asleep on its own quicker if they train it to sleep on its own.
You shouldn’t however let the baby cry for too long without comforting it.

The not touching business: can you elaborate what you mean? Do they not touch the baby at all? (How do they change nappies?) what about holding it during the day?


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## peacem

inmyprime said:


> Plus baby will get used to sleeping and falling asleep on its own quicker if they train it to sleep on its own.
> You shouldn’t however let the baby cry for too long without comforting it.
> 
> The not touching business: can you elaborate what you mean? Do they not touch the baby at all? (How do they change nappies?) what about holding it during the day?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I think what you are describing here is "common sense" which we attribute to ourselves but are convinced others do not have, which is why parenting forums are certainly a good way of going about having mummy and daddy guilt long after your children have graduated and leading long and happy lives.


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## 269370

peacem said:


> I think what you are describing here is "common sense" which we attribute to ourselves but are convinced others do not have, which is why parenting forums are certainly a good way of going about having mummy and daddy guilt long after your children have graduated and leading long and happy lives.



Oh really? Does that happen with grand parents?
Yikes. I do know some grandparents who tried being too ‘helpful’ with their advice and one day one of the parents just snapped. They now don’t get to see their grandchild. Very sad. 



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