# Finally Ended This Toxic Narcissistic Relationship!



## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

What's up guys. It's a good day today! I finally ended this toxic relationship and see the light! You can search my other threads to get the back story.

I'll tell you what, when you finally hit the straw that breaks the camels back it's easy to let go. It only took 3 years lol. Thank GOD I didn't do something stupid like marry this girl, or get her pregnant. 

Having a relationship with a narcissist, toxic, emotionally selfish stunted person, on top of it all a horrible communicator is life sucking. You want them to change so bad, but they never do and turn EVERYTHING around on you. It's never their fault for anything, you are always the bad person and in the wrong and then you end up feeling like you're the crazy one. Not to mention full blow alcoholic, and pill popper. 

I wanted to white knight her. I tried and tried. All I did was keep hurting myself more and more. Take it from me guys: NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, HOW GREAT THE SEX IS, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! 

Your mental health is more important, which will affect physical health as well. 

Thanks for all the support here! I feel like I can finally let go of all of this, close the book, burn the book, and start a new novel and write my first chapter 1 of my new life.

Peace!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I have felt your pain, LOL.

Been there, done that. They're hard to turn loose of, but when you're loose, you feel like a ten ton truck was just lifted off your chest.
BRavo.


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## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

Evinrude58 said:


> I have felt your pain, LOL.
> 
> Been there, done that. They're hard to turn loose of, but when you're loose, you feel like a ten ton truck was just lifted off your chest.
> BRavo.


I'll tell you what though, when you're going through it you're just blinded, you don't think clearly, your anxiety can get the best of you. It's on the other side when you literally can't take anymore that you see things for what they are. 

I'm actually grateful for having gone through this. I've learned so many life lessons and red flags, and really got clear on what I want and won't settle for less. My next girl is going to be lucky.


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## A_Common_Man (Jun 21, 2018)

Learn the red flags of a toxic person so you do not make the same mistakes again on another woman. I hope you find what you are looking for.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I read your other thread. Sounds like you were addicted to her, so hoping you have addressed this and LET GO. Wouldn't want her to turn up in the future and ruin your new life. We all need to continue to work on ourselves to become the best person we can be. 

Hoping you don't replace her with her twin--think about what you want in a long-term partner--what is on the inside?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

A good lesson for men, don't just be with a lady for her looks, but for her personality and character. I cant believe you stayed with her all this time just because she is 'hot'. A mans looks wouldn't keep me with him for a day if he was otherwise horrible.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

confused0000 said:


> I'll tell you what though, when you're going through it you're just blinded, you don't think clearly, your anxiety can get the best of you. It's on the other side when you literally can't take anymore that you see things for what they are.
> 
> I'm actually grateful for having gone through this. I've learned so many life lessons and red flags, and really got clear on what I want and won't settle for less. My next girl is going to be lucky.


What a load of unadulterated **** you are spouting.
Three years,three ****ing years she has been cheating,lying,popping pills,going on alcoholic binges,girls trips away that she TELLS YOU she is going to **** other men.Then she comes back to your open arms to tell you about her sexual adventures.
And your answer is to keep breaking up with her.
Then you go back.Every ****ing time dude,every ****ing time.
If she texts you tonight you will be around her house in minutes with your tongue out.
Tell yourself again that you are breaking up with her,it should be easy.You’ve done it often enough.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

confused0000 said:


> I'll tell you what though, when you're going through it you're just blinded, you don't think clearly, your anxiety can get the best of you. It's on the other side when you literally can't take anymore that you see things for what they are.
> 
> I'm actually grateful for having gone through this. I've learned so many life lessons and red flags, and really got clear on what I want and won't settle for less. My next girl is going to be lucky.




I whole heartedly agree. Been there done that and at the ending I wanted to kill myself. I thought and had been told so so many times what a piece of **** I was, I believed it. Thank God you didn’t marry or have kids!!!! You see the flags and won’t repeat..... good for you. On to better things in your life....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> What a load of unadulterated **** you are spouting.
> 
> Three years,three ****ing years she has been cheating,lying,popping pills,going on alcoholic binges,girls trips away that she TELLS YOU she is going to **** other men.Then she comes back to your open arms to tell you about her sexual adventures.
> 
> ...




Until you live it you don’t understand it. Why be so condescending to the OP? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Andy1000 is not being condescending, he is telling the ugly factual true, whether OP likes it or not.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I know your story. Could you share how you got to this point?

After all, the last I remember, just before Memorial Day, you were going to hook up with the woman in question. Frankly, it would help others to know how you managed to become aware and enlightened.

You sound relieved and downright giddy in posting about the relationship ending. That makes me suspicious. Hope you return to allay my suspicions. Because for some reason, I don't totally believe it's over. Otherwise, you would have given more details.

So what's really going on here? Seriously.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Tomara said:


> Until you live it you don’t understand it. Why be so condescending to the OP?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I have the greatest of sympathy for someone going through relationship problems,I’ve had some myself.
However the op has been going back to this woman for three years,every time she treats him like crap he vows that he is done but a few weeks later when she calls him he comes running.
Condescension? I don’t think so.
When someone keeps stabbing you in the back, stop handing them the knife.


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## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

Hi

Why do your highlited word back story and white knight lead to amazon to buy something


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## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

Prodigal said:


> I know your story. Could you share how you got to this point?
> 
> After all, the last I remember, just before Memorial Day, you were going to hook up with the woman in question. Frankly, it would help others to know how you managed to become aware and enlightened.
> 
> ...


I've been aware of everything since literally the first date 3 years ago. Alcohol abuse, pill abuse, broken home, abused as a child, etc... Until you live through being with a narcissist, you won't understand why we keep going back. 

This woman's words has helped me immensely. Anyone being emotionally abused by a narcissist should listen to these videos: 




You could say, then why the hell do you keep going back? Be Alpha, grow a pair. Well, as I said, I wanted to white knight her. I thought I could fix all of her problems. I am a very successful man, and have a full life of hobbies and activities I enjoy. I still hold on to the American dream of a beautiful wife and a family. I thought I could mold this broken woman and show her a life she's never had full of peace and love. But YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYONE. They have to want to change. She uses alcohol and pills to numb herself and after 3 years, a dui, and several close calls she still won't get help. 

I finally lost it a week ago, when she was drinking fifths of vodka every night, spilling and breaking glasses in my home, on top of everything else her f-ing little dog will defecate all over my home and won't do anything to change. I called her out on all this behavior once again, and the narc can't handle any of this and throws it right back in my face like I'm doing something wrong. A couple days later she called me with a man in the background saying: "Yeah, and tell him he's a little Bitc* and you're sick of his Shi*". At that point I blocked her on everything, got a box and sent everything back to her. 

I'm not going through this one more time. She needs help, I can't save her. It's been a challenging week breaking free from this Narc, but I've done it so many times already, it shouldn't be that difficult. 

My question is, since this relationship has been in shambles for quite some time, how long should I wait to start dating again? I feel like I'm ready now, but I don't want her friends seeing me on dating sites, etc...


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Tonight,that’s when you start dating, tonight. 
You say you are a successful,fit guy. You shouldn’t have any problem picking up a woman for some fun. And only for some fun,forget about relationships for a while,you need to blow off some steam and some hot lady is exactly what you need. 
Stop being a nice guy,that’s what has you where you are. And stop worrying about her or her toxic friends seeing you on tinder or any other dating app.They don’t care what you think about them so why should you care about what they think of you. 
Go and have some fun and **** the begrudgers.


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## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Tonight,that’s when you start dating, tonight.
> You say you are a successful,fit guy. You shouldn’t have any problem picking up a woman for some fun. And only for some fun,forget about relationships for a while,you need to blow off some steam and some hot lady is exactly what you need.
> Stop being a nice guy,that’s what has you where you are. And stop worrying about her or her toxic friends seeing you on tinder or any other dating app.They don’t care what you think about them so why should you care about what they think of you.
> Go and have some fun and **** the begrudgers.


I just have to break the addiction to her. It was hard AF in Feb thru May, and I was finally on the mend, then she reached out, said I miss you, I was dating but hadn't found anyone great yet, and I went back, you know what happened? The SAME OLD Sheeeit!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

confused0000 said:


> I've been aware of everything since literally the first date 3 years ago. Alcohol abuse, pill abuse, broken home, abused as a child, etc... Until you live through being with a narcissist, you won't understand why we keep going back.


Obviously you do not know my story. I married TWO alcoholics, and one was a raging, textbook narcissist. So, yeah, I DO understand.

So from the get-go you knew what you were up against. And for three years you tried to save her from herself. Codependency at its finest. Best of luck.


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## confused0000 (Mar 29, 2018)

Prodigal said:


> Obviously you do not know my story. I married TWO alcoholics, and one was a raging, textbook narcissist. So, yeah, I DO understand.
> 
> So from the get-go you knew what you were up against. And for three years you tried to save her from herself. Codependency at its finest. Best of luck.


That wasn’t directed towards you.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

@confused0000: read your tread title: Finally Ended This Toxic Narcissistic Relationship!

No. You have not ended it. When you in your weak beta frame of mind estates: " I feel like I'm ready now, but I don't want her friends seeing me on dating sites, etc..." This is an up-front pathetic recognition by yourself that you are not over. You just are to afraid of her reactions to anything you do. 

The day you do not give a **** about whatever her reaction might or might not be, then you can say that you're over her, not before for one minute. Growth a pair man.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

confused0000 said:


> That wasn’t directed towards you.


Yes it most certainly was. Why? Because you quoted my entire response and immediately under it you responded. Who the hell else would it be directed towards - the man in the moon???

Codependency at its finest, folks.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Congrats on regaining control of your life....I happen to believe you're done. I totally get where you are coming from. Anyone can become the prey of a narcissist, it doesn't matter how "alpha" you are. Its a very difficult cycle to break. My only suggestion is to stay steadfast in having absolutely no contact with her.


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