# Suspecting wife may be cheating



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

So, I discovered my wife is deleting her text messages on her iPhone, I think she may be deleting her call log too. Yesterday she said this guy (we will call him joe) called her and asked if he could come get our son and take him to eat at the local Mexican restaurant where he decided to have a birthday party for his own son. (They are in the same class) My wife wasn't home, she was taking our daughter to dance class out of town. During that birthday party, Joe took a picture of our son in a sombrero and his son and sent it to my wife. The next day, my wife shows me the pic, and said that Joe bought a gift for our son to give his son as a gift. Weird I thought, but okay. I actually wanted to see that picture again but the wife was in the bathroom so I got her phone and looked in her text messages for the pic, didn't find it though. So I looked through her contacts and verified he was in there so why wasn't he showing up? Found the pic on her camera photos where she saved the image, but why would she delete the message? I then downloaded that free trial version of the iPhone SMS recovery and saw several messages between them, and all of hers to him were deleted. Some of them were coded weird and some had partial words but didn't make sense. Anywho, over the past 6-7 months she has lost 20+ pounds, growed her hair out, bought new expensive makeup. We still have sex fairly regularly (not enough for me but about once a week)and it seems that she is into it, but she does close her eyes quite a bit. I don't know what to really think though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

Not that much solid proof, yet. But why deleting the messages, if there is nothing to hide?!
Looks to me like the 0850 cheater script and judging form my own experience i'd say yes, there is something going on.
You have to start gathering solid evidence, furthermore don't alarm her that you have suspicions.
Confront her, once you have the "smoking gun", not sooner, not later.
But i really hope for you, that there is nothing going on and that it's just a false alarm.


----------



## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

^not much proof, but if he suspects her, he sure better keep his eyes and ears open. infidelity is a slippery slope.


trust your gut, my friend..... trust your gut.


----------



## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

The information you have given doesn't set off any alarms for me. I delete all my messages once a day. I just like a clean field in my phone. Unless this is a new practice for her, I'd not attach too much importance to it. Just be alert to anything else.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

river rat said:


> The information you have given doesn't set off any alarms for me. I delete all my messages once a day. I just like a clean field in my phone. Unless this is a new practice for her, I'd not attach too much importance to it. Just be alert to anything else.


This is new for her, only within the past few months has she started doing this, once a few weeks ago she started deleting entire conversations because once she asked me to read a message from her friend, well I scrolled up and a few minutes later she rips the phone from my hand and immediately deletes a lot of stuff. 

And what's the cheater code thing your talking about??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> This is new for her, only within the past few months has she started doing this, once a few weeks ago she started deleting entire conversations because once she asked me to read a message from her friend, well I scrolled up and a few minutes later she rips the phone from my hand and immediately deletes a lot of stuff.
> 
> And what's the cheater code thing your talking about??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Very bad sign. VAR the car, check cell phone records.


----------



## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

do you know this guy? is he married?


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

cledus_snow said:


> do you know this guy? is he married?


Yes I know him, he is divorced.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

i've been reading your previous threads and it sounds like your wife has major boundary issues, as well as there being a "disconnect" between you two.

i'd be very suspicious in light of your previous postings. 


maybe you can pull phone records from phone company.


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> This is new for her, only within the past few months has she started doing this, once a few weeks ago she started deleting entire conversations because once she asked me to read a message from her friend, well I scrolled up and a few minutes later she rips the phone from my hand and immediately deletes a lot of stuff.
> 
> And what's the cheater code thing your talking about??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think there's more to your story.
The fact that you are here says so, but you are not sure if it makes sense.
Exactly do you feel she's cheating?
Beside the phone issues and the changes in her behaviour, what else has led you to believe that she's not being faithful?


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I've looked into the iPhone spyware, but that requires a jailbroke phone, and I think she'd notice this with how much she is on her phone. I do have a gut feeling, I think because we still don't have an emotional connection again, she is on her phone alllllll the time, I know her pass code and she knows that I know it. We are on a family plan with her mom and dad and sister, and her sister handles the bill, so I do not have access to this. Will the AT&T app on her phone give me access to the call and text logs?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> I've looked into the iPhone spyware, but that requires a jailbroke phone, and I think she'd notice this with how much she is on her phone. I do have a gut feeling, I think because we still don't have an emotional connection again, she is on her phone alllllll the time, I know her pass code and she knows that I know it. We are on a family plan with her mom and dad and sister, and her sister handles the bill, so I do not have access to this. Will the AT&T app on her phone give me access to the call and text logs?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ask her sister for a copy of the bills...it only makes sense of you're paying for it..make up an excuse you want them for taxes etc


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> I've looked into the iPhone spyware, but that requires a jailbroke phone, and I think she'd notice this with how much she is on her phone. I do have a gut feeling, I think because we still don't have an emotional connection again, she is on her phone alllllll the time, I know her pass code and she knows that I know it. We are on a family plan with her mom and dad and sister, and her sister handles the bill, so I do not have access to this. Will the AT&T app on her phone give me access to the call and text logs?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you against putting a voice-activated recorder and gps in the car, unbeknownst to your wife? Don't you think it would be good for your marriage, either way? - if you find nothing after a few weeks you can start to feel better about trusting her; if you do find something, at least you can tackle it before it gets out of hand.

Are you afraid of asking for the things you really need or really want from your wife for fear that she will leave you? 

Your wife's excessive phone use and lack of interest in you is unacceptable, period, whether or not she is carrying on an affair.

There is another poster whose wife was glued to her phone, then he caught her in an affair, the affair ended, and he has posted several times that he just cannot get over the drastic decrease in phone use since the affair ended.

You don't have much evidence that your wife is in an affair. However, your marriage is in trouble and your wife has no interest in improving it. And you seem terrified of pushing her for fear of her telling you "no" or getting angry at you. You subjugate your own desires to hers practically all of the time.

When you are married, you have a realistic expectation of your wife's companionship, affection, and sex. You are getting none of those. If you can't sit down with your wife and tell her that is unacceptable, then do something about it if she doesn't improve, you are doomed to live in this lousy marriage.

And don't forget the VAR. A couple of weeks of monitoring is worth your peace of mind.


----------



## Blue Firefly (Mar 6, 2013)

BobSimmons said:


> Ask her sister for a copy of the bills...it only makes sense of you're paying for it..make up an excuse you want them for taxes etc


I believe that on AT&T each phone number on the account can act as a user-id that will allow you to log into the account and look at the bill.

Call AT&T customer service from your cell phone and tell them you want to set up a user-id so you can look at the account to see your usage, the billing, etc...


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Are you against putting a voice-activated recorder and gps in the car, unbeknownst to your wife? Don't you think it would be good for your marriage, either way? - if you find nothing after a few weeks you can start to feel better about trusting her; if you do find something, at least you can tackle it before it gets out of hand.
> 
> Are you afraid of asking for the things you really need or really want from your wife for fear that she will leave you?
> 
> ...


No I have a var and I will set it up in her car somewhere. I had been afraid of making her mad but slowly have been turning that around. How can I do the GPS thing in her car?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

Jailbreaking the phone simply gives you superuser access, theres nothing that would really look different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Yes this sounds like my wife. In my situation VARs and all the rest would not have done any good. She rarely talked to the OM on the phone, used a friend's apartment when she wasn't home and never went anywhere in public with him. Perfect huh? Not really. She texted him constantly! 2500k a month, at all hours. She started locking her phone, deleting texts from only one number, hiding the screen when I walked in the room and taking the phone everywhere. I finally confronted her with the text messages but she denied everything, lying right to my face. The texts stopped immediately (she wasn't in love with the OM, he was just 15 years younger and majorly boosted the her self esteem, we are in our 50's).
This really fooled me but I knew something was still wrong, but I couldn't believe she was cheating on me.

I decided to fight fire with water. I started to tell her I loved her all the time. Started to make sure I asked how her day went etc. and bought her flowers for no reason etc. To make a long story short, one day she was having a major crises (related to the A, but I didn't know) and I just hugged her a told her I loved her. She totally broke down crying for no "reason". Her guilt trip was so bad that the next day she broke down and confessed. I don't know what I could have done differently, but looking back, knowing what I know now, the texting was a major, major red flag.


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

1. Your gut is telling you something.
2. She has lost weight and changing her appearance.
3. She is changing her behavior
4. She is always on the phone
5. There is no emotional connection between you and your wife.

These are classical signs many times of a person being in an affair.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Pick up some Velcro tape and place it in your car and give it a trial run to make sure it works. If it does then Velcro it under her car seat ...if not look for similarly places you can hide in your car that work best and then you know for sure that were ever you place it in her car will also work.

When you do experiment with the VAR in your car you may find you need to get a higher quality VAR...but maybe not....so please don't waste time planting the VAR until you have experimentent with it 1st.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

When an iPhone syncs with iTunes, it makes a backup file to either iCloud or on the computer. You can get to this backup file. Here's one program that I use that can recover even deleted iMessages:

*Decipher TextMessage*

How to save / export SMS messages to your computer. Windows or Mac. Decipher TextMessage.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Tell your sisiter in law that your employee will reimburst some of your phone bill but you need online access to *your* call log.

With T-Moblie ( my MIL plan) I can then enter my wifes phone number instead of mine and get her call log. This might work for you with ATT&T?


----------



## xenus7850 (Mar 26, 2013)

Depends on how much you really want to know the truth and what you are willing to do to learn the truth. While I used something like this before, you must prepare yourself for what you may learn, if you are not prepared to learn some devastating, life altering things, I do not suggest it. Then again, you might find out that you are over reacting.

Like at sites like spy bubble, flexi-spy, mobile-stealth, etc. If she has an iphone you can jailbreak it, install one of these programs, these programs will run in stealth in the bachground so the user does not even know that they are there, but from time to time the will bog down the phone, meaning that the phone will be sporadically slow or unresponsive from time to time for short periods.

These programs will allow you from a computer to read incoming and outgoing text messages (even if they are deleted), read what she made have posted on facebook, what websites she has visited, GPS locations, etc. etc. Some of them will actually allow you to put in phone numbers in which you want to montitor, then send you a text message when the number has called that phone or that phone has called that number, then you can call her phone and listen to that conversation and they dont know. In addition, you can even call that phone when not is use, it will then activate the speaker and you can listen to the background and see whats going on.

Very cool programs, they run from around $80-$300. Good way to learn the truth, but make sure you are ready for the truth if it is what you think, because it will hurt.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

xenus7850 said:


> Depends on how much you really want to know the truth and what you are willing to do to learn the truth. While I used something like this before, you must prepare yourself for what you may learn, if you are not prepared to learn some devastating, life altering things, I do not suggest it. Then again, you might find out that you are over reacting.
> 
> Like at sites like spy bubble, flexi-spy, mobile-stealth, etc. If she has an iphone you can jailbreak it, install one of these programs, these programs will run in stealth in the bachground so the user does not even know that they are there, but from time to time the will bog down the phone, meaning that the phone will be sporadically slow or unresponsive from time to time for short periods.
> 
> ...


I do want to go this route for sure, I was afraid something would b different and she would notice, I have a lot of questions about this method like, how long it takes to jailbreak and load up, will all her apps retain her current info and arrangement, and if it is reversible. She plays all those games from when she gets off work till she falls asleep, somehow getting all the chores done too
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> I do want to go this route for sure, I was afraid something would b different and she would notice, I have a lot of questions about this method like, how long it takes to jailbreak and load up, will all her apps retain her current info and arrangement, and if it is reversible. She plays all those games from when she gets off work till she falls asleep, somehow getting all the chores done too
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Which iOS does her phone have? Some of the exploits change the boot logo and some install the Cydia market.


----------



## ScorchedEarth (Mar 5, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> This is new for her, only within the past few months has she started doing this, once a few weeks ago she started deleting entire conversations because once she asked me to read a message from her friend, *well I scrolled up and a few minutes later she rips the phone from my hand and immediately deletes a lot of stuff. *
> 
> And what's the cheater code thing your talking about??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Ohhhhh no. NOT GOOD! Would you do the same if she had your phone? No? There's your sign. 

I keep just about all my messages, because if ever there is ANY accusation of impropriety, I WANT the proof to be there that there wasn't/isn't.

(Learned the hard way to keep EVERYTHING I send when communicating with people. Long story short, a co-worker, whom I rebuffed several years ago, took emails I had sent him, doctored them, and then passed them around to senior staff at the TV station I worked for. Because I didn't think anything of deleting old emails, I had no way to prove what he did, other than some glaring grammatical errors which ANYONE who knows me knows I would not make. Thankfully I had been at the place years longer than him, so people knew me well enough to know something was off. Even still, lesson learned - KEEP EVERYTHING!)


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

BrockLanders said:


> Which iOS does her phone have? Some of the exploits change the boot logo and some install the Cydia market.


She has the 4s 6.1.2, hasn't upgraded to the latest yet
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xenus7850 (Mar 26, 2013)

Keep the 6.1.2, do not upgrade, use redsnow or a similar program to jailbreak. Jailbreak takes around 20 minutes or so, then purchase the program of your choice, I liked spy bubble, then follow those instructions. The entire process should take around 30-40 minutes. The entire process is reversible, you will need to just enter the Iphone into DFU mode, then use itunes to restore. Or if you have a back-up copy, then use that to restore. Make sure to use the code to hide the Cydia Icon and the Spy Bubble "Radio" Icon. This way the user does not know that they are on the phone. Before hiding the "Radio" icon, make sure to enter the observer number, this will be a phone number that you call from to that phone to either listen to a conversation or the background. What ever observer number you use, you cannot actually make phone calls to the target number anymore as the target phone will recognize that phone number and either connect you to a their phone call or the background. I would suggest using a second cell phone for this.


----------



## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

xenus7850 said:


> Keep the 6.1.2, do not upgrade, use redsnow or a similar program to jailbreak. Jailbreak takes around 20 minutes or so, then purchase the program of your choice, I liked spy bubble, then follow those instructions. The entire process should take around 30-40 minutes. The entire process is reversible, you will need to just enter the Iphone into DFU mode, then use itunes to restore. Or if you have a back-up copy, then use that to restore. Make sure to use the code to hide the Cydia Icon and the Spy Bubble "Radio" Icon. This way the user does not know that they are on the phone. Before hiding the "Radio" icon, make sure to enter the observer number, this will be a phone number that you call from to that phone to either listen to a conversation or the background. What ever observer number you use, you cannot actually make phone calls to the target number anymore as the target phone will recognize that phone number and either connect you to a their phone call or the background. I would suggest using a second cell phone for this.


They are one easier way to do this now days´s . Use this web 

site.evasi0n iOS 6.x Jailbreak - official website of the evad3rs Just Plug the phone in and press the button ,of witch OS you have.And the site is doing the rest.Takes about 5 min. I did this with my I-Pad 2.Works brilliant


----------



## RyanBingham (Mar 27, 2013)

I need to try this with my ipad.


----------



## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

OP, be very, very careful with the monitoring.

I see the red flags here, but I also see the possibility your mind is playing games with you. Seen the thing about the bar, the check etc.

1. She may have an affair, 
2. You may be somewhat insecure and controlling, jeaulous, paranoid.
3. Both 1. and 2.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

xenus7850 said:


> Keep the 6.1.2, do not upgrade, use redsnow or a similar program to jailbreak. Jailbreak takes around 20 minutes or so, then purchase the program of your choice, I liked spy bubble, then follow those instructions. The entire process should take around 30-40 minutes. The entire process is reversible, you will need to just enter the Iphone into DFU mode, then use itunes to restore. Or if you have a back-up copy, then use that to restore. Make sure to use the code to hide the Cydia Icon and the Spy Bubble "Radio" Icon. This way the user does not know that they are on the phone. Before hiding the "Radio" icon, make sure to enter the observer number, this will be a phone number that you call from to that phone to either listen to a conversation or the background. What ever observer number you use, you cannot actually make phone calls to the target number anymore as the target phone will recognize that phone number and either connect you to a their phone call or the background. I would suggest using a second cell phone for this.


What knowledge do you have that this is a "reliable" way to jailbreak? I ask only because, back in the day, I had heard some jail breaking attempts go bad and folks end up "bricking" their phones (irreparably damaging them).

I don't want to spread FUD, but maybe it is worth an assessment of the brick risk.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm still a big fan of the VAR!


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

lordmayhem said:


> When an iPhone syncs with iTunes, it makes a backup file to either iCloud or on the computer. You can get to this backup file. Here's one program that I use that can recover even deleted iMessages:
> 
> *Decipher TextMessage*
> 
> How to save / export SMS messages to your computer. Windows or Mac. Decipher TextMessage.


Depending on version of iOS, you can configure: Settings->iCloud->SorageAndBackup to automatically back up to iCloud, instead of through iTunes.

Don't know if that captures the same data. But some folks rarely connect to/run iTunes.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Re: GPS

IPhone had a handy tool built in. Turn on:

Settings->iCloud->FindMyIPhone 

Use same appleId/iCloud on your iOS device (iPhone, iPad, iPodtouch). Install apple's FindMyIPhone app ONLY ON YOUR device. If she asks why feature is turned on on her phone, tell her you turned that on because a guy at work told you that's how he found his kid's lost iPod.


Btw: doesn't show path taken, but does show current location or last known location.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

PieceOfSky said:


> What knowledge do you have that this is a "reliable" way to jailbreak? I ask only because, back in the day, I had heard some jail breaking attempts go bad and folks end up "bricking" their phones (irreparably damaging them).
> 
> I don't want to spread FUD, but maybe it is worth an assessment of the brick risk.


I feel I should add: this may work quite reliably. I just heard some things a few years ago that made it sound risky at that time. Just saying: assess the brick risk first.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

it just seems unusual to me, that in the past, when she would go somewhere with her mother (like shopping, pedicure, uptown to get fast food for kids) she had never brung me back anything, but lately, she has been getting me stuff. Not big expensinve things, just like, a desert from sonic, or a STL Cardinals mug. However, looking on her phone, there isnt any deleted information that indicates anything. And on a positive note, I saw on her bible app that she is doing a "marriage study" looks like she checks in there everyday.... so I guess maybe I could be wrong. But, I do have a VAR in her car this week, we will see where that goes.

Regarding the find my iphone app, hers is checked, but I really have no clue how to check where hers is.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> Regarding the find my iphone app, hers is checked, but I really have no clue how to check where hers is.


It's easier than what I thought. You don't even need to install the FindMyiPhone app onto YOUR (not her) iPhone.

You can just go here:

https://www.icloud.com/#find

That is, as long as you have her AppleId and password. You can get her AppleId by, on her iPhone, going here:

Settings -> iCloud -> Account

As for the password, maybe you can guess it if you don't already know?

In my family's case, I have us setup to all use the same Apple ID and password. (The AppleId she has configured for iCloud is very like the same one she uses to purchase apps from the app store.)


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> No I have a var and I will set it up in her car somewhere. I had been afraid of making her mad but slowly have been turning that around. How can I do the GPS thing in her car?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Go to the link in my signature there is a way to track her. All you need is access to the phone. You can use "find my friends" app to track her without her knowing. Also there a way to see deleted text messages but you will need the computer she syncs the iphone to. Please go through my thread and feel free to ask questions.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

PieceOfSky said:


> Depending on version of iOS, you can configure: Settings->iCloud->SorageAndBackup to automatically back up to iCloud, instead of through iTunes.
> 
> Don't know if that captures the same data. But some folks rarely connect to/run iTunes.


:iagree:

If they back up to iCloud, then there's no hope of getting any data through the backup file because there won't be one.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I will look into your thread badbane, thank you for that.

PeiceOfSky, I do know her id and password so this should be easy! thank you!


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> :iagree:
> 
> If they back up to iCloud, then there's no hope of getting any data through the backup file because there won't be one.


she rarely backs hers up, but when she does, it is on my PC.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

McMuffin said:


> she rarely backs hers up, but when she does, it is on my PC.


Then you can view the backup file at your leisure. You should grab it when you get the chance and quickly back it up to your computer.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

so nothing will be lost with the back up then right? How do I retrieve the back up file, then sort it out? I can get access to her phone when she is sleeping. Last night she fell asleep early and I used the wondershare dr phone (free version) to scan her ios. It didnt turn up anything and it looked incorrect really, like messages I sent to her showed up under someone else... idk, maybe I am interpreting it incorrectly.


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

PieceOfSky said:


> What knowledge do you have that this is a "reliable" way to jailbreak? I ask only because, back in the day, I had heard some jail breaking attempts go bad and folks end up "bricking" their phones (irreparably damaging them).
> 
> I don't want to spread FUD, but maybe it is worth an assessment of the brick risk.


All jailbreaks carry risks. If you know safe practices when dealing with updating firmware in general you should be okay. But if you have never done a bios update or even updated the os on your iphone then I suggest staying away from the jailbreak all it would take is grabbing the wrong firmware and poof no more phone.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

McMuffin said:


> so nothing will be lost with the back up then right? How do I retrieve the back up file, then sort it out? I can get access to her phone when she is sleeping. Last night she fell asleep early and I used the wondershare dr phone (free version) to scan her ios. It didnt turn up anything and it looked incorrect really, like messages I sent to her showed up under someone else... idk, maybe I am interpreting it incorrectly.


No. Nothing is lost. I just posted a link to a program (decipher textmessage) that automatically gets into the backup file. Decipher will retrieve even deleted iMessages. 

There's also iPhone Backup Extractor that I use.

Keep in mind, these will not retrieve text messages that use an app like TextFree, Tigertext, etc, because these aren't backed up. Only text messages using the standard text message function on the phone will be recoverable.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

badbane said:


> All jailbreaks carry risks. If you know safe practices when dealing with updating firmware in general you should be okay. But if you have never done a bios update or even updated the os on your iphone then I suggest staying away from the jailbreak all it would take is grabbing the wrong firmware and poof no more phone.


:iagree:

jailbreaking is definitely not for the newbie.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

I fear the worst....sorry you are here OP


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

lordmayhem said:


> :iagree:
> 
> If they back up to iCloud, then there's no hope of getting any data through the backup file because there won't be one.



So, then PLEASE disregard what I said about turning on backup to iCloud feature. Because, if I'm not mistaken, it's either "back up through iCloud" or "back up through iTunes" but it can't be both. So, keep it set to backup through iTunes.


Btw, when using the FindMyiPhone app on the link I posted, don't accidentally hit the button that tells her phone to start "beeping". That's on a different screen than the one showing the map location, but if you accidentally hit it it WILL be noticeable to her. (We use that feature to find, say, my kid's iPod buried deep in the couch  )


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

when i had her phone last night, i did not see any of the apps you mentioned. I looked even on the games that she plays that has the chat feature, and there wasnt anything.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> when i had her phone last night, i did not see any of the apps you mentioned. I looked even on the games that she plays that has the chat feature, and there wasnt anything.


Little known fact:

You can install an app on an iPhone, and then delete its icon.
To run, go to the "left most" page, and type part of the app's
name in the search box. If it is installed, it will show up, and
you can click on it to run it from there.

Also, iTunes probably has a page that shows you clearly what is installed, though I cannot say for sure that it will show you anything if an app's icon has been deleted.


As far as running a game app with built-in chat, or the Kik app, or TextFree, etc., please be aware they probably don't keep much of a history of any chats. In fact, Kik is notorious for this amongst folks here. It sort of automatically cleans up any tracks.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

that is good to know, I will check on that tonight. what if I had a spare iphone that isnt connected to cell service (wifi), would it keep realtime info along with what she receives? She has the 4s, but I have an old 4 that I could do this to.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> that is good to know, I will check on that tonight. what if I had a spare iphone that isnt connected to cell service (wifi), would it keep realtime info along with what she receives? She has the 4s, but I have an old 4 that I could do this to.


Not that I'm aware of.

It is possible, via iCloud settings, to have certain kinds of information automatically pushed from one phone to another (e.g., like -- take a photo on this one, and have it automatically appear on your iPad or other iPhone). I don't know if iMessages or SMS messages can be tweaked that way. MIGHT be a worthwhile thing to check into. Dunno.

You could install the FindMyIPhone app though, from the Apple Store, on your iPhone4. It looks and runs pretty much like the version you'll find on the webpage link I sent a bit earlier. (Just don't install FindMyIPhone app on her 4S.)


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

ok, so I am going out of town this weekend leaving tomorrow around 4pm, I have one VAR and just got an 8g microsd card for it and lithium batteries. I wanted to get a second one, but sadly walmart was out of them. BTW, I have the Sony IC recorder and it has been great so far. So far I have found nothing, but I cant keep it in her car for a week at a time without removing it to listen. I got two of the micro sd cards so I can start switching out. What else do you guys recommend I do before I leave? I am going to grab her phone tonight and back it up on my home PC, then copy that to my external HD and take this with me to view it over the weekend. I am very interested in tracking her by her iphone and will reread the steps to do that. Just curious as to what else I can do. I have a home security system that keeps track of open doors and can access it online anytime. I also have a camera inside the house that I can record 15 second clips, or stream live online also.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

PieceOfSky said:


> Not that I'm aware of.
> 
> It is possible, via iCloud settings, to have certain kinds of information automatically pushed from one phone to another (e.g., like -- take a photo on this one, and have it automatically appear on your iPad or other iPhone). I don't know if iMessages or SMS messages can be tweaked that way. MIGHT be a worthwhile thing to check into. Dunno.
> 
> You could install the FindMyIPhone app though, from the Apple Store, on your iPhone4. It looks and runs pretty much like the version you'll find on the webpage link I sent a bit earlier. (Just don't install FindMyIPhone app on her 4S.)


I will elaborate on why I asked this question; before christmas, we were going to get our 10yo an iphone. We were elegible for upgrades and we both went from the 4 to the 4s. My screen was cracked but my wifes was fine, so we kept it and intended to restore it to factory settings and then set it up for my daughter to use. When we got our 4s phones in and activated, her old phone was getting the alerts and notifications in real time in sync with her new 4s. It did not have cell service, but was receiving it through wifi. I noticed that, but didnt say anything, and I could see all text messages, game notifications, facebook, email, etc and she never knew. I almost hated to restore it for my daughter, but I had to.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> I will elaborate on why I asked this question; before christmas, we were going to get our 10yo an iphone. We were elegible for upgrades and we both went from the 4 to the 4s. My screen was cracked but my wifes was fine, so we kept it and intended to restore it to factory settings and then set it up for my daughter to use. When we got our 4s phones in and activated, her old phone was getting the alerts and notifications in real time in sync with her new 4s. It did not have cell service, but was receiving it through wifi. I noticed that, but didnt say anything, and I could see all text messages, game notifications, facebook, email, etc and she never knew. I almost hated to restore it for my daughter, but I had to.


Interesting. Do you know if the text messages were SMS (regular cell-phone-like messages), or if they were iMessages (an apple-specific thing sort of like Kik or TextFree, IF I am not mistaken)?

If it's iMessage messages, then it does seem like both phones could be configured to use the same iMessage account, and then receive the same incoming messages. Check out:

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/3470974?start=0&tstart=0

Which I came across by googling:

receiving texts on two iphones


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I am trying to remember, but I am sure it was both sms and imessages coming through. I mean, it was like this was copying everything except calls. All notifications were going to both phones. I was just curious if it would still work if I used her backup on my old iphone 4.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I have several iPhones , one for work and one for myself.

A change apple made when they rolled out the iMessage and notifications stuff last year made possible to get any message sent to one phone to show uo on all phones that share the same apple iCloud account.

Under the settings icon, look at Messages->send & receive. You should find a list of all the phone numbers and emails that can and will receive the messages sent to that phone.

There is a similar panel under FaceTime as well.

You do not need to send them to an iPhone only. A Mac with Mountain Lion can also get them.

Be warned when you ADD a new device/phone number, the others already associated will get a notice of the addition, but you can deal with that by just being ready to intercept it on your wife's phone and clear it there.

After that you'll see all messages sent to her phone.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

ok, didnt get her phone backed up last night, (because I apparently was tired enough to sleep all night uninterupted (for once)) but I got up early enough to look into her phone again, didnt find anything. But....I did see something I had saw before but passed never looked into what it was. I looked into what the app "Tango" was and it looks like it could be a separate messaging, calling, video calling used similar to textree or tigertext. I went back through her email accounts and through the trash and she had registered on March 9th. So, what can I do about this?


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> ok, didnt get her phone backed up last night, (because I apparently was tired enough to sleep all night uninterupted (for once)) but I got up early enough to look into her phone again, didnt find anything. But....I did see something I had saw before but passed never looked into what it was. I looked into what the app "Tango" was and it looks like it could be a separate messaging, calling, video calling used similar to textree or tigertext. I went back through her email accounts and through the trash and she had registered on March 9th. So, what can I do about this?


Never heard of it, but a quick glance at their website tells me you are right -- it's very much separate messaging, calling, video... Which, I would find worrisome myself. (My kids install these sorts of tools, so they can communicate with their friends, but my wife, she needs no such thing.)


Also, Tango seems different than the one's I'm familiar with, in that it leverages information folks have in their iPhone contacts. It seems you tell them your e-mail info when you sign up, as does everyone else when they sign up. Then, when you run the tango app, it looks through your contacts to find any e-mails it recognizes, and apparently makes it quite simple for you to "Tango" with any of those.

At my first chance, I would run the app on her phone and see who shows up in her contact list. Does NOT mean she has contacted them; it means, they are in her iPhone contacts list AND they have also signed up for Tango; why that's the case is a different question.

If someone shows up in her Tango list of contact-able people, even at first glance it is someone "family" or relatively "neutral", I'd double-check their e-mail address and ponder does it make sense she would be "Tango-ing" with this person. If it is a stranger, that would be noteworthy too. If it's the guy you are worried about (err, I'm probably mixing up threads), then I'd be extra interested in finding out why.

If you want to experiment with that app on a different phone or device, I'd create a new e-mail account and use it to register with Tango. If you use an e-mail your wife might have for you in your iPhone contacts list, then you might start showing up if and when she fires up Tango.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I cant see why she would need this app really.....


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I downloaded Cain on my home pc, i think i have it setup right, i tried it on my phone, seemed to work, I just need to figure out which one is her phone and which one is my daughters phone. Can I leave this running all weekend while I am gong? what if the computer is restarted, will this restart as well?


----------



## ironman (Feb 6, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> I cant see why she would need this app really.....


Exactly ... it's a red-flag.


----------



## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> I downloaded Cain on my home pc, i think i have it setup right, i tried it on my phone, seemed to work, I just need to figure out which one is her phone and which one is my daughters phone. Can I leave this running all weekend while I am gong? what if the computer is restarted, will this restart as well?


No idea. Quick glance at manual shows that in the Sniffer tab of the Configuration Dialog, there is a "Start Sniffer on startup" option you can check. I have no idea what the implications of that are, but you might dig into the manual some more.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

badbane may know, I will PM him.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

well i solved that issue, I enabled remote connect from my laptop. It is suppose to storm tonight and I hope that the power doesnt go out but if it does, that one of the kids may turn my pc back on. itd be easy to get them to though. Anywho, getting ready to leave soon, VAR in her car with 91hours of recording time available, i can track her iphone which never leaves her side, cain on my home pc, remote connection enabled. I really dont know what else to do before I leave.


----------



## Blue Firefly (Mar 6, 2013)

McMuffin said:


> well i solved that issue, I enabled remote connect from my laptop. It is suppose to storm tonight and I hope that the power doesnt go out but if it does, that one of the kids may turn my pc back on. itd be easy to get them to though. Anywho, getting ready to leave soon, VAR in her car with 91hours of recording time available, i can track her iphone which never leaves her side, cain on my home pc, remote connection enabled. I really dont know what else to do before I leave.


You could put your pc on a ups. The small ones are not that expensive.

They also regulate the power. They not only prevent surges, they even out the power to a steady level (uneven power levels can damage electronics also). This gives you an excuse if anyone asks "why did you hook your pc up to a ups?" They are better than just having a surge suppressor.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Oh please oh please let this not follow the script.


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> I downloaded Cain on my home pc, i think i have it setup right, i tried it on my phone, seemed to work, I just need to figure out which one is her phone and which one is my daughters phone. Can I leave this running all weekend while I am gong? what if the computer is restarted, will this restart as well?


I wouldn't that would be a hell of a lot of stuff to go through. Your best bet is to get on your router and look up the list of connected devices. You can then look at the mac addresses figure out which one you want to target. Now if you are capturing off of a single device then yea you should be fine.


----------



## McMuffin (Dec 17, 2012)

I found the correct device for her, just remote connected and checked out what cain was able to capture, and lots of things like facebook stuff, but nothing out of the ordinary. She never left the house either as I have checked her iphone nearly every 30mns. Guess the true test will come this weekend. I rarely ever leave for a weekend, and I mean rarely, as in maybe twice per year.


----------



## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

McMuffin said:


> I will elaborate on why I asked this question; before christmas, we were going to get our 10yo an iphone. We were elegible for upgrades and we both went from the 4 to the 4s. My screen was cracked but my wifes was fine, so we kept it and intended to restore it to factory settings and then set it up for my daughter to use. When we got our 4s phones in and activated, her old phone was getting the alerts and notifications in real time in sync with her new 4s. It did not have cell service, but was receiving it through wifi. I noticed that, but didnt say anything, and I could see all text messages, game notifications, facebook, email, etc and she never knew. I almost hated to restore it for my daughter, but I had to.


See my PM. Sending in a few minutes.


----------

