# Men Who Track Down Women



## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

Hi,

Would like your view on what you feel if men you used to know like at high school or college or past work friend years ago tried to find you through other people or an agency like friends reunited would you feel okay about that? Say they had something important to tell you? 

Thx.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

What could possibly be so important? 

I would have serious doubts and be very weary.

Men are basically predators at heart. And let me tell you, we are sneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaky too.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Holy crap! 

Creepy 1 and creepy 2!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

It would depend on how close we were in the past.If I barely spoke to the person I would think they were creepy.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I have had this happen and the "important" thing they had to tell me was always some version of "I really liked you in high school and..."


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I wanted to add it would be really creepy if they approached you even after they knew you were married or in a relationship.


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

If things were so good back then, they would probably still be in your life today.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Having had the experience of being stalked by an ex for 2 years, I think I'd be very wary.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I think there's a big difference between finding someone again and stalking them. I've sought out girls from high school before. One in particular was a girl I hooked up with but never dated, but should have.

We talked at school sometimes and ended up skipping a pep rally one day. My friends usually came to my house after school, and when they did that day, her and I were already there. Everyone knew something was up. I wasn't trying to do anything, but one thing led to another and she and I hooked up. After a friend of hers came by to pick her up, a friend of mine came to me and said he'd been talking to her for awhile and he was pretty pissed at me. I said I didn't know he was interested, I thought they were just friends. I backed off and didn't pursue a relationship with her. That and a number of other crazy things in my life at the time basically meant the girl and I barely even talked afterwards.

Many years later, I sort of had a lingering guilt about it and how I imagined she must have felt. I wanted her to know I was interested and that she wasn't just an easy lay and discarded. So I found her facebook one day and came clean about the circumstances. She said she was really hurt at the time and I apologized for being stupid. My friend never did get the nerve to ask her out and it turned out she thought he was annoying anyway. Both of us were married now, and happy with our decisions (at that time), but the conversation was a very therapeutic one for both of us I think. One skeleton less in the closet.

There's been three girls from my past where I felt the need to get some things off my chest, apologize, or otherwise bury lingering demons.

I don't think this is a bad thing. Other than those, I've found guys and girls alike from high school that I was friends with just to reconnect. Sometimes its nice to have some continuity with your past... and having the realization that we really were just kids back then with barely a clue as to who we were or what we would become.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Thats one of the reasons that i dropped Facebook. The men who contacted me were from college or professional school and making cold calls in search of something. 

Either they were recently divorced, or about to be or unhappy or bored and looking for excitement. A time to reach out and touch someone.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

I like reconnecting with people I knew growing up, in HS, and college. Reminiscing about the good times... people we knew.

Is that stalking?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

There is no reason men from my past need to find me and nothing they say could possibly be important to me now.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

I think the circumstances can vary greatly from one person to the next. 

Prior to the internet, email and social media, it was as if your friends had died when you moved away. Sometimes people would write letters for awhile, but eventually you would fall out of touch and never see them again. It was a real loss.

Was the person in question a passing acquaintance or a very close friend? It's nice to know that old friends are still alive and well and I wouldn't consider that to be stalking.

Now if a person makes it plain that they want no contact and that wish is not respected, then it would be a different story entirely.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I think it's one thing to look up old friends on Facebook and catch up on the years. What's super creepy in the OP is the bit about "something important to tell". That and "tracking down". That sounds a bit more...extensive...than just surfing for the old high school crowd.

Seriously--if I haven't seen you in more than a year or two, the "something important to tell me" should relate to either lottery winnings or the Mob putting a contract out on me! Otherwise, it's definitely creepy and I'll find ways to block you from contacting me again. Ever.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

It depends. Usually, the reason is selfish. I have had two former friends/boyfriends call me at odd hours of the night, intoxicated, to apologize.

I wasn't the one who needed closure, they did.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Totally depends... on who they are/were to me and what they have to say.

But nothing would hidden from hubby so it wouldn't become an issue in our marriage anyway. 
We share access to both of our computers/passwords/email/FB/phones etc and something like this would be mentioned and discussed.


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