# Childish Husband



## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

My husband is in upper management and is always complaining about his childish employees, yet he can be just as childish himself when it comes to me.

I understand he's in management and is used to everybody following his orders, yet I'm not one of them.

He can't stand to hear the word "No" from me, nor does he ever want to be corrected.

Again, I understand that he manages people everyday and often it's 24/7 as even when he leaves work, he has to manage people due to the fact that he constantly gets phone calls that need his management.

I also understand that it's hard to switch from his 24/7 management role to a hubby role, so I'm beyond understanding.

He goes on the road often, so we talk on the phone quite often. This last week when he was on the road we got on the subject of our dog and her new bone we got from the butcher store. Now the rest of this is going to sound pretty funny, so prepare to laugh...as I certainly did!!

I was laughing and telling him that her stool was white from the bone and that she was sneaking it in the house from outside and leaving crumbs from it all over the carpet. Mind you, she never eats her other #2, but because this was from her bone, it must have been extra yummy for her the second time around..(TMI..and Ewww!!)

Anyway, he heard half of what I said as usual..and as usual he has to look everything up on the net. 

His reply was, "If a dog is eating their stuff, it means that they're not getting enough nutrition..what are you feeding her?"

I said, "No, she's not eating the regular "stuff" she poops out..she's just eating the white stuff that comes out from her bone.."

He got upset with me and hung up. What.The.Heck??!

I tried to call him back and he sent me to voicemail. Then he sent me a text that said, "I'm tired of you disagreeing with me all the time..I know what I'm talking about.."

Had he listened completely he would have heard me completely, but he claims he heard me and blames it on her diet. Yeah..the diet she consumed when she got her new bone..made from calcium that made her poop white.

Has anyone out there ever had such a serious argument over dog poop?? If so please comment..LOL!!!


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

There is a decent chance you are the only one. Lucky you. :grin2:


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Sounds like the subject matter is irrelevant. I'm going to say your husband is insecure. He uses his supervisory status at work as a hammer to force people to follow his direction, and it frustrates him to no end that he can't use his hammer on you at home. 

I have seen this behavior many times, a person gets self important in their own mind and always have to prove their superiority, even when it's a senseless exercise. His reaction of hanging up on you and not answering your call was because he really didn't have a strong argument to represent his side, he didn't have the words or facts to convince you he was right so he needed to take the power back by controlling the communication and teaching you he has the power.

Silly, childish, immature behavior of a small man inflated by a tiny bit of power.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

memyselfandi said:


> I tried to call him back and he sent me to voicemail. Then he sent me a text that said, "I'm tired of you disagreeing with me all the time..I know what I'm talking about.."


LOL..he _*'knows what he's talking about'*_ because he googled it, so it must be so!

And seriously, what kind of emotionally stunted idiot hangs up on you for something so ludicrous? He needs to learn the meaning of respect.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He is smart, yet limited.
He is confident.
He is arrogant.
He is impatient.
He is pompous beyond arrogant.
He is impatient.
He is not thorough.
He is too much fixed [sign].
He is incomplete.
He is short...sighted.
He is so full of **** and therefore refuses to take anymore perceived ****.
He is a smeller only of his own ****.

What he is not....wise.

You have Wisdom
His wisdom remains in the [back of his Autocrat] mouth. Encased in tooth enamel.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Tough type of person to live with. For his sake, I hope you can continue to be the bigger person. I suppose you could talk to him about it, but I think you'd discover that you were "wrong" about something yet again.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Oh my he sounds like my EX husband.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Just consider the source and move on, m'dear!

Your H is showing all of the eloquence of a deranged jackass! *


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Is there more? I read your post differently than the others. It sounds like you both like to be right and you are butting heads.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

I have another take on this. 

But, first a few questions: 

Are you constantly, automatically correcting him? 

Like at a traffic light as soon as it turns: "It's green, go!"

Do you correct his speech or pronunciation?

Do you argue over little things just to prove you're right...hard to believe that an argument over dog poop is worth the time and energy.

Do you work?

Maybe he's just tired of having to deal with a disrespecting Queen Bee all the time. Did you ever think it might just be you?

That you described him in the title as "Childish Husband" says more about you than him.


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## lorikeet25 (Jun 22, 2016)

My H is the same way. I have to think before mentioning anything to him because he will argue, correct, or criticize almost everything I say. It is exhausting, and I no longer talk to him about much. 
I have started calling him out or ending the conversation when he does it. 
So far all that has done is reduce the frequency of conversation by a lot. Probably not a long term solution.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm not sure I see it as childish. There was a question about your dog's behavior. He did some research on the web, and you dismissed what he found. 

I don't know either of you. If your are a veterinarian or widely read on the subject or are expert in dogs in some way, then your opinion certainly trumps a web search. OTOH, if he did some research and you didn't, then I don't think dismissing what he found makes sense.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

uhtred said:


> I'm not sure I see it as childish. There was a question about your dog's behavior. He did some research on the web, and you dismissed what he found.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know either of you. If your are a veterinarian or widely read on the subject or are expert in dogs in some way, then your opinion certainly trumps a web search. OTOH, if he did some research and you didn't, then I don't think dismissing what he found makes sense.




He should of let her finish her story first. Sometimes things don't need to be researched and answered. Sometimes a story can just be a story. Like haha that's gross what a weird dog we have. The end. 
Anyway this sounds exhausting to deal with. Especially when he acts like a child and hangs up on you. 
You both have to work on your communication.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

katiecrna said:


> He should of let her finish her story first.


She did finish the story according to what she wrote.


> I was laughing and telling him that her stool was white from the bone and that she was sneaking it in the house from outside and leaving crumbs from it all over the carpet. Mind you, she never eats her other #2, but because this was from her bone, it must have been extra yummy for her the second time around..(TMI..and Ewww!!)
> 
> Anyway, he heard half of what I said as usual..and as usual he has to look everything up on the net.


She didn't like his response or that he didn't believe her reasoning and resorted to google.


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## shellybell (May 13, 2017)

A narcissist never likes to be contradicted


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Your right @phillybeffandswiss sorry I read it wrong.

I can see both sides. Both sound pretty immature to me. Both need to be right. 

She is wrong, she shouldn't be protesting against him and rebuttal him. And he is wrong because he should find a way to communicate his frustration with her other than hanging up the phone.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

I agree, the hanging up was childish. This is why I want more information because it sounds like they both are childish. If my child, car, dog, AC or whatever does something completely out of the norm, she said her dog "NEVER eats her other #2," I am acting like a child if I get angry because my wife double checks my explanation. She has wrote her husband into a very bad corner and made him sound awful. Yet, her example shows she dismissed him in the same manner she felt he dismissed.


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## Uptown (Mar 27, 2010)

MM&I, the childish and moody behaviors you've been describing here on TAM since June 2012 are red flags for a personality disorder (PD). Specifically, your H's irrational anger, controlling behavior, verbal abuse, easily triggered temper tantrums, icy withdrawals, lack of impulse control (e.g., binge spending), black-white thinking, always being "The Victim" who is always "right," and rapid mood flips -- are classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). 

Importantly, I'm not suggesting your H has full-blown BPD but, rather, that he may exhibit moderate to strong traits of it (together, perhaps, with moderate traits of Obsessive Compulsive PD). As I tried to explain in 2014, these childish behaviors in a man having 3 ex-wives seem to go far beyond what could be explained by a testosterone deficiency, which is what you had concluded was the source of the problems.

If you would like to discuss his childish behaviors with me, please respond to the questions I asked you in my 2014 post: What do you know about the way he treated his first three wives? Did he start throwing temper tantrums with them as soon as the infatuation period evaporated? How early in life did his road rage appear?


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

This would have been an entirely different conversation between me and my wife. I would have gone like this:

WIFE: She's pooping out white bits of bone and eating it because it still tastes good to her.
ME: I read that it white poo _might_ be a result of bad nutrition. You might be right, but do you think _we_ might be feeding her the wrong food?
WIFE: I don't know. Maybe let's try a different food and see what happens.
ME: Yeah, good idea. Maybe we should ask the vet too.
WIFE: Good idea. 

The setup for a compromise and accommodation of the other's position would be pre-built into our conversation. It's silly to want to be correct about dog poo, of course. But I see that point that others are making. It's not that he corrected _you_, it's that you corrected _each other_ and he was very sensitive about it. Does this type of conversation take place about other matters as well?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If this is a common occurrence, then I agree the husband likely has a PD. If the OP has been relating stories like this for a while now (I didn't read the previous post that @uptown linked) then I'm sure there is more going on than communication issues.


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## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Satya said:


> Oh my he sounds like my EX husband.


My husband too

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## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

lorikeet25 said:


> My H is the same way. I have to think before mentioning anything to him because he will argue, correct, or criticize almost everything I say. It is exhausting, and I no longer talk to him about much.
> I have started calling him out or ending the conversation when he does it.
> So far all that has done is reduce the frequency of conversation by a lot. Probably not a long term solution.


Same here, except we both feel the same way

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## crocus (Apr 8, 2016)

memyselfandi said:


> My husband is in upper management and is always complaining about his childish employees, yet he can be just as childish himself when it comes to me.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I can relate, as can many others I'm sure. For the sake of validation....yes his behaviour could be noted as such.
I could regale 100's of such stories, years of experience. But it's so unimportant to me that I refuse to do so. What matters to me is my behaviour, that I don't get sucked into it, and I don't take it personally. It's hard work, and the drama never ends. Which is why I ended the relationship, life is too short to catch myself judging those I should accept and love. I don't respect such behaviour, so the kind thing , for me, to do is let them be and move on. 
The best lesson I apply is I remove the power for them to be offended...I don't share information in the first place.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

First and foremost, I apologize for not reading your other posts and threads OP. Yes, I read them all, even the ones in other people's threads. No, I still feel the same way about this scenario, but this is you making a checklist of resentments.

Here's what is crazy, this dude put on no acts. He didn't change once you were married, he was this way before you married him. I get the impression you are a fixer or as men are called a White Knight. There are men in your threads, even in the ladies lounge, predicting your marriage woes BEFORE the wedding. You have an entire thread of people saying either no or postpone the wedding. I'm not blaming you for his behavior, but you were constantly writing out these problems in 2012 through now. You are closing in on 5 years and you've been dealing with this too long IMO.



You need to divorce this guy. Sorry, I'm not going to give advice on staying together when you both are utterly incompatible. This is a life long behavioral problem only professionals can fix. Nope, I leave the BPD stuff to Uptown. All I know is, he's had DECADES to be this way and it would take years to unravel this mess, even with medication and counseling.


One other thing, you are not a bad person for falling out of love with a person who treats you poorly. One of the first steps is stop trying to convince yourself you feel love. I bring this up because you started every thread with some form of "I love my husband" for the last 5 years.


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