# getting back with ex wife



## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

hi there one and all

just a few questions need help with?

well my wife left october last year and in that time she met an old ex but that did not work for her and it had been made very hard for me to see my children at one point i did not see them for 9 weeks but out of the blue i started getting msq from here and we then spoke on the phone she asked me to go round that evening which i did and we talked and ended up in bed together then over the course of a month things built up between us and now we are giving it another chance but there are little things that bug me like she is still going by her maddien name on the evil that is facebook i have also asked her to add me but she has not yet and i have also asked her what we are doing with solicators as they are still moving on with the devorce i know i sound a little petty but i'am one of these people that frets and worries a lot am i looking to much into this or not please help.


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## lonelyman (Jun 28, 2011)

Do not go back, she won't even add you to her facebook? That is a definite RED FLAG, she must have a lot to hide from you on her page!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ask her pont blank what her plan is. And tell her what yours is. 

No wishy-washy back and forth high school BS. Be honest with eachother. Either work it out or stick a fork in it.


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

i have seen her fb page she has shown me but just will not add me also she is one of these people if you ask her a question it might be a day or 2 before you get an answear from her


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

we did try before but she let other people tell her what to do but this time she is making her own mind up not taking anything from anybody else


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

TALK. If you can't talk, don't ****. 

Also..... take your time. DATE her. WATCH her actions. Treat her like a girlfriend....and judge her as a girlfriend...is this THE person you want to spend the rest of your life with? 

Reconsiliation is alot of work. It sounds like you both are kind of hoping for the easy way. Marriage counseling should be mandatory!


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

yeah i would do marriage counseling but i know she would not but she has said she would move back in today if she could but she can't because of her housing at the moment in the last week i have been round every day and stayed a couple of nights also but the little things bug me when we kiss sometimes it's on the lips and other times on the cheek but then she will let be put my hands through her hair for hours


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Well ick. It's not about what she will LET you do. 

If I read your original post right, SHE is the one who screwed up and then dumped you. Which means SHE should be extending effort and desire and remorse... and whatever else YOU need for her to offer you! If she won't go to counseling, and WORK on the marriage, then how is there to ever be a happy ending? You two have to figure out what went wrong in the marriage, how it even got to the point where she went outside the marriage. I don't see how you can take her back without alot of groveling on her part, and ACTIONS....such as her going to counseling (that has to be a deal breaker...if she won't agree to go, you don't agree to even consider a relationship). She should have to SHOW you that the relationship MATTERS, and not just move back in, with you as second choice because the other guy didn't work out the way she thought it would. 

Sounds like you are willing to take any crumbs she'll let you have. That can only lead to you getting hurt/crushed/dumped again. If she won't put in EFFORT....then why think this could possibly work?

Sorry if this sounds harsh. I think (with the little info we have) that she is using you, and isn't treating you with any respect.... and isn't that the LEAST that you'd need????


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

well here is an update

went round last night and she says she don't know if she is doing it for the right reasons but at the same time tell me that she still loves me so at the moment we are not together now i dont know what to do at all because this is just not messin with me but also with the children


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

also forgot to say that i also stayed at her house the night before and she is telling me that i'am trying to control here which i no i am not as i only do what she wants of me and i ask her if this and that is ok before i do it


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

There's a chicken bucket of crazy right there.


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## condorman (Jul 21, 2011)

tell me about it that's why i don't know which way to turn!!!


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## Indy Nial (Sep 26, 2010)

> i only do what she wants of me and i ask her if this and that is ok before i do it


Please, please tell this is a joke you're making!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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