# Chris Watts and The Cheater’s Handbook?



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Last night I watched the Netflix show about Chris and Shanann Watts. 

Chris Watts is the Colorado guy that killed his pregnant wife and 2 little girls so he could hook up with some other chick. 

The show is mostly a montage of clips of police videos, home movie clips, social media pictures and posts and snippets from txt messages and such.

What struck me was the txt and email dialogs between Shanann and her girlfriends as well as some of the exchanges between her and her soon to be killer. 

Other than the murders, it was classic stuff you see here every day. Even murderers follow the playbook.

Her txts to her girlfriends show he was going cold and distant. He had gone from a horny lover to rejecting her advances for weeks at time.

He had gone from a doting father to not speaking to her or the kids for days on end when they were out of town visiting relatives.

When she’d press him for answers and would even ask him about another woman, he would completely DARVO and gaslight her and act like she was crazy.

She would want to address the issues and he would cut her off and tell her it was time for his workout.

Even when the police were interviewing him and telling him their suspicions based on his prior behaviors, including significant weight loss and preoccupation with fitness and changing his appearance, he would straight-faced deny any outside involvement.

One of the things that is kind of haunting me today is she would txt her GF about his change of behavior and that she suspected there was an OW and the GF would basically say, “oh no Honey! He would never do that!” The GF then encouraged her to get sexier and more assertive sexually and “..go get your freak on!”

When Shanann would txt her the next day and say that despite her best efforts he still rejected her and she spent the night crying, the GF still only offered platitudes and still rejected the notion of him cheating.

This was a young, fit, healthy, engaging man in his mid 30s with tattoos and tight shirts and Shanann was a beautiful, sexy and self-admittedly very horny woman and he was saying no thanks and rolling over to sleep - yeah right!!! If things don’t add up, they don’t add up.

The thing she kept telling the GF that the GF wasn’t registering was that this was completely out of character for him and for them as a couple. I got the impression from the txts that they used to be like rabbits and now he was suddenly stiff arming her at every pass. 

I’m not trying to blame the GF at all, she was trying to be supportive and support the marriage as well as a listening ear to Shanann. 

But I can’t help but think if Shanann had written to this forum, that people would have at least told her to listen to her gut and that the signs and red flags she was seeing were things to be taken seriously and she would have been told how to dig a little deeper and where and how to investigate for further evidence. 

He was following the Handbook. The signs were there.

I know we get on each other that we may be too paranoid and a little too quick to say that someone is cheating, but when the signs are there, the signs are there and some of those signs are things that normal friends and family would brush off as “stress” and being too tired from work etc. 

Maybe I’m feeling some kind of weird guilt that maybe she and the girls could have been saved if she had been tipped off sooner 😢

Has anyone else seen that show? What were your thoughts as you were watching it play out?


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Shanann's GF wasn't a true friend.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

What kind of mindset leads you down the path of thinking that murder is a better option than divorce? 😳


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


oldshirt said:



I know we get on each other that we may be too paranoid and a little too quick to say that someone is cheating, but when the signs are there, the signs are there and some of those signs are things that normal friends and family would brush off as “stress” and being too tired from work etc.

Click to expand...

*Yeah, posters here do sometimes get jumped on when they "dare" to bring up the infidelity topic when someone is posting about their spouse being unloving or disengaged or suddenly wanting out of the relationship. There's a thread right now on General Relationships from a distraught woman whose husband suddenly blindsided her and told her he wants out and a poster in that thread got thumped for daring to bring up the possibility of infidelity.

I 100% agree with that poster (Diana) that the OP needs to consider that her husband is having an affair. I think she's going to eventually find out that Mr. Wonderful has a girlfriend and THAT'S why he's not sure if he wants to stay and go through IVF with her again, or hit the skids and run off to Unicorn Land with his girlfriend.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

OnTheFly said:


> Shanann's GF wasn't a true friend.


I disagree with that. I really don’t blame the GF. 

Although it’s kind of haunting me, I don’t think the GF necessarily displayed any malfeasance or actual negligence based on the evidence she was being presented with. 

We want our friends to not only be our friend and confidant, we also want them to be friends of the marriage and of the spouse as well. 

In many weddings, both religious and secular, the presiding official will encourage the witnesses/congregation to support the couple and support the marriage as a whole. That is why weddings are public and why many do it before friends and family. 

What the GF was being presented with (at least in the show) was that Shanann was horny and wanting some love’ns but Chris was basically not in the mood. 

If the roles were reversed and it was a dude, his friend of the marriage would likely tell him to go take care of his hard on himself and let the Mrs get her rest. 

Now if Shanann had told the GF she found 342 flirty and sexy txts and some boob pictures from some other gal and that he was coming home late from work all the time and had scratches on his back and found a woman’s necklace under the seat of his car - then yes, the GF may have had some negligence if she tried to explain that away. 

But what the GF was being presented with was that he hadn’t been putting the d—- to her in the manner she was accustomed to lately. 

I’m sure in hindsight the GF feels terrible, but what she was given at that time is at least understandable, especially if she herself had not been cheated on before.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I followed that case. He apparently is thriving in prison. And his former gf has restarted her life somewhere else under a new name, IIRC (because plenty of people thought she was involved). His parents may still believe he only killed his wife when she killed their daughters (the best story he could come up with apparently) but certainly no one else does. And her parents lost their only daughter and only grandchildren. Shaking my head.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Another thing that struck me about the show was towards the end once it came out he killed her and the girls, Shanann’s family started receive hate mail and people were bashing her on forums and social media.

There were people saying she was the ***** and ball breaker and cause for their marital woes. 

There are those that automatically blame the BS for not being nice enough or sexy enough etc but here was a beautiful, sexy woman wanting to have a love and sex life with her husband and now her children and watching him bury her body in the desert and then strangled one by one and their bodies discarded in petroleum tanks???

That’s a special kind of evil. 

I guess the lay-public has a playbook of their own that wants to blame the victim as well 😔


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, there were lots of Chris groupies who couldn’t believe that this low-key “nice” guy could possibly do what he did. Many of them still blame Shannan for being a strong Type A (as was his gf). They felt Shannan and/or his gf drove him to it. Especially Shannan since he said he told her he wanted a divorce and she said no. I think he didn’t want his good guy image destroyed and he was one of those people who decided murder was easier than divorce. Obviously, he thought he would get away with it and he and his gf would ride off into the sunset. Instead he’s doing life in Wisconsin (transferred there from Colorado where he was getting death threats) and his gf was, and maybe still is, in hiding somewhere. And Shannan and the children are gone forever.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> Last night I watched the Netflix show about Chris and Shanann Watts.
> 
> Chris Watts is the Colorado guy that killed his pregnant wife and 2 little girls so he could hook up with some other chick.
> 
> ...


I mean, how would she have protected herself even if she did know he was cheating? It sounds like he came completely unhinged and killed them all. Maybe she did have proof and confronted him the day he killed them? The whole thing is so sick.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She had been out of town for a sales meeting and got home around 2am as I recall. He killed her almost immediately, loaded her body with the two girls, who were alive, in the back of the truck and then drove to a remote site. He killed the girls there and put them in separate oil tanks. He buried her nearby. He originally said there was an argument and but she was tired and pregnant so he probably planned what he did. He also said in the beginning that she killed the kids so he killed her. He didn’t expect to be caught. They never do.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

QuietRiot said:


> I mean, how would she have protected herself even if she did know he was cheating?


We will never know. There’s that and a million other unanswered questions. 

In general I think people are always better off knowing the reality of the situation vs not knowing. 

If you have knowledge you can always make decisions and have a chance. 

If you are clueless, you are always a sitting duck at someone else’s mercy.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Openminded said:


> I followed that case. He apparently is thriving in prison.


By that, I hope you mean he is getting beaten and butt raped in prison regularly.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> By that, I hope you mean he is getting beaten and butt raped in prison regularly.


I don’t think he’s in GenPop. That very likely would happen if he were. Last I read he was reading the Bible and wanted to counsel people in a Christian way (whatever that means). And he has pictures of the girls in his cell and talks to them every day. That was one of the strangest family-annihilator cases I’ve followed. He seemed so very normal in all the videos and even if he decided he didn’t love his wife after his affair began he continued to always be so loving and protective toward the girls. Right up to the moment he killed them. All for some … whatever. Crazy.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Openminded said:


> I don’t think he’s in GenPop. That very likely would happen if he were. Last I read he was reading the Bible and wanted to counsel people in a Christian way (whatever that means). And he has pictures of the girls in his cell and talks to them every day. That was one of the strangest family-annihilator cases I’ve followed. He seemed so very normal in all the videos and even if he decided he didn’t love his wife after his affair began he continued to always be so loving and protective toward the girls. Right up to the moment he killed them. All for some … whatever. Crazy.


Probably the play acting of a very nasty and dangerous psychopathic narcissist. He fooled everyone. He was never the nice person people thought he was.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I followed this case from the day it happened, and knew he was a guilty sob immediately.

Can't blame Shanann's gf, even if she had flagged the possibility of infidelity, who the hell could have predicted the horrific outcome?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I’ve seen the show. And I think her personality was a little controlling, and a planner and he was more go with the flow and it was clear she was the boss in the marriage, and she wanted things her way. I get it, I am 100% like her. But what I’m trying to say, is that I think she knew there was someone else. And I think she was the type of person that should do anything to make her marriage work. So even if her gf told her he probably is cheating, I don’t think that would make her leave him. 


The other thing that I noticed because I found myself to be a lot like her; and my exH was like the killer..: was that she came across brash and controlling, and he can’t across super nice and a saint to put up with her. Like a really nice guy. But the more I learn about the behaviors or people, I realized she had a loud bark and no bite. She’s scary, but harmless and sweet. But he has no bark, and a really bad bite. And to me, there is nothing worse. Throughout the whole time, he was telling her what she wanted to her, he was so sweet, always saying the right thing. But then he ACTED off. It really throws you for a mental loop. He was the typically super charming, tells people what they want to hear, liar. His red flags were hard to pick up on, until they were so obvious and too late.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

oldshirt said:


> Another thing that struck me about the show was towards the end once it came out he killed her and the girls, Shanann’s family started receive hate mail and people were bashing her on forums and social media.
> 
> There were people saying she was the *** and ball breaker and cause for their marital woes.
> 
> ...


Welcome to being a women in a patriarchal society. Blaming the victim women isn’t new. I have seen time and time again people blaming rape victims for everything under the sun... what they wore, who they were with, how much they drank, how many previous sexual partners they had. It’s so sad.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Openminded said:


> She had been out of town for a sales meeting and got home around 2am as I recall. He killed her almost immediately, loaded her body with the two girls, who were alive, in the back of the truck and then drove to a remote site. He killed the girls there and put them in separate oil tanks. He buried her nearby. He originally said there was an argument and but she was tired and pregnant so he probably planned what he did. He also said in the beginning that she killed the kids so he killed her. He didn’t expect to be caught. They never do.


Actually she came home, and they had sex then went to sleep. He killed her in the morning when he told her he was leaving her.


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## gold5932 (Jun 10, 2020)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Yeah, posters here do sometimes get jumped on when they "dare" to bring up the infidelity topic when someone is posting about their spouse being unloving or disengaged or suddenly wanting out of the relationship. There's a thread right now on General Relationships from a distraught woman whose husband suddenly blindsided her and told her he wants out and a poster in that thread got thumped for daring to bring up the possibility of infidelity.
> 
> I 100% agree with that poster (Diana) that the OP needs to consider that her husband is having an affair. I think she's going to eventually find out that Mr. Wonderful has a girlfriend and THAT'S why he's not sure if he wants to stay and go through IVF with her again, or hit the skids and run off to Unicorn Land with his girlfriend.


I believe this was me. The circumstances from this poster was completely different. I think a lot of people on this forum want to go scorched earth at the very beginning of suspected infidelity and the poster didn't say she was concerned. He was talking to his sister at the end of their street. I think a lot of the posters here have been cheated on and know the ins and outs but come on, the mind games for some are just horrible. Don't you notice that most posters don't reply or come back? Maybe we're just looking for a sympathetic ear. Not go get a VAR. I believe in not hiding from the truth but think about the situations before you say that crap.

And how do you know she didn't check this site out? Blaming the friend is beyond ludicrous. This is what I'm talking about. Can you imagine if you were that friend and read this?


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

Well-done documentary of an extremely tragic story. All those babies...


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It was planned and not done in a fit of rage. He said he knew when he put the girls to bed that night that after his wife got back from her sales trip a little later that he was going to kill all of them so he could be with his gf. And yet people who saw him with the girls at a birthday party that afternoon said he was his usual loving self with them. No hint at all of what he was planning to do about 12 hours later. But he knew and now he wonders why he didn’t stop it.

Now apparently he’s worried about the Netflix documentary, which is currently the most-watched, and how it makes him look. His family still is very vocal in their support of him — especially his mom who says many others also support him. And there are definitely Chris-groupies who blame his wife. They feel that he was a quiet, soft-spoken man who was stuck with a loud, demanding witch and just snapped. That’s not how it really was but they don’t care about the truth.

That case is the stuff of nightmares.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

@oldshirt I watched the Netflix one and the Criminal Investigation Channel (one we have in SE Asia) which was more insightful as it interviewed the police and the polygrapher and how they cornered him. He was definitely a psychopath of some sort. I agree totally about the signs and if she has someone wiser maybe she would have spotted them and still be alive. He was totally emotionless, an absolute monster. And aren't some people the way they treat their spouse in the middle of an affair?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

QuietRiot said:


> I mean, how would she have protected herself even if she did know he was cheating? It sounds like he came completely unhinged and killed them all. Maybe she did have proof and confronted him the day he killed them? The whole thing is so sick.


Exposure, he wouldn't dare do anything if others knew, just crawl back under his rock


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

frusdil said:


> I followed this case from the day it happened, and knew he was a guilty sob immediately.
> 
> Can't blame Shanann's gf, even if she had flagged the possibility of infidelity, who the hell could have predicted the horrific outcome?


Especially the way he acted when the friends arrived and called the police to come, he was so nonchalant, it's like what???


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Yeah, posters here do sometimes get jumped on when they "dare" to bring up the infidelity topic when someone is posting about their spouse being unloving or disengaged or suddenly wanting out of the relationship. There's a thread right now on General Relationships from a distraught woman whose husband suddenly blindsided her and told her he wants out and a poster in that thread got thumped for daring to bring up the possibility of infidelity.
> 
> I 100% agree with that poster (Diana) that the OP needs to consider that her husband is having an affair. I think she's going to eventually find out that Mr. Wonderful has a girlfriend and THAT'S why he's not sure if he wants to stay and go through IVF with her again, or hit the skids and run off to Unicorn Land with his girlfriend.


When a loving, affectionate spouse suddenly does a 180 and becomes unloving and distant for no reason or fault of the B.S., that person either got raped, saw a person get run over by a cement truck right in front of them... or they're cheating. We have seen this episode over and over and over again, like a M.A.S.H. rerun.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

There is no execution painful enough for a POS like Chris Watts. I'm all for bringing back drawing and quartering.


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## OutofRetirement (Nov 27, 2017)

*Christopher Watts failed a polygraph test that led to a major break in the murder case*

*Discovery Documents from Weld County District Attorney's Office*

Laura Richards, criminal behavioral analyst, domestic violence expert and co-host of the podcast “Real Crime Profile,” says, “When I was analyzing Shanann’s [Facebook] messages, it was always [about him]: ‘I’m so lucky to have you. You stuck with me. The girls are so lucky to have you.’ My analysis is that he felt less than.”

Richards continues, “He was a good-looking guy. People believe him because of the way that he looks, and Shanann is not alive to tell her story. He changed his story not once [or] twice, but three times. Why is it so unbelievable that Chris Watts could do this?”










on July 25, Watts Googled, “When to say I love you,” “When to say I love you for the first time in a new relationship,” “What do you feel when someone tells you they love you,” “How does it feel when someone says I love you?”

On August 13, the day of the murders (Watts is believed to have killed his family in the early morning), the discovery shows that Watts called his daughters’ school, Primrose. He told an administrator that the kids would no longer be attending there. He also called a realtor named Ann Meadows with the intention of selling the family home and downgrading to something smaller. When she suggested an option for him to check out, he said he would drive past it on his way home from work that day.

*Chris has been getting heaps of fan mail in prison*
One of the more disturbing elements of the discovery is the pile of fan letters (and occasional hate missives) Watts has received since landing in prison. Police noted, “The letters consisted of personal letters from people asking to be pen pals, some media requests and a couple of hate mails. Nothing of evidentiary value can be drawn from the correspondence.”

But the missives are fascinating for what they reveal about human behavior—and our obsession with all things crime. For example, one woman, who says she is serving a 13-year sentence for a “high-profile” financial crime, writes to Watts, “…I feel this connection to you…because the coverage and assumptions of you and your case make me irritated _for_ you.” She then describes her height, weight and body type.

Another woman sends a bikini shot.


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