# Is it weird to have family photos when your kids are adults?



## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

My mother in law got married a year ago to this man. They're planning on doing a family photo with all her kids (he has no children of his own). That means my husband, his two sisters, and they're all in their 20's. After that they would have a family dinner.

I think it's nice that they are doing a family thing to try to include him as family but then again it was HIS and MIL idea. 

I'm not offended at all by it (as some of you know I have exclusions from in laws in the past) but it just seems weird to me to have a "family photoshoot" at this point and MIL kind of forcing him on them by making them tell him "happy father's day" when they're uncomfortable.


What do you think about spouses being in their family picture? Some would agree/disagree. Check out the link below:

When you are taking family pictures and our children have spouses - BabyCenter


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SugarMonstaa said:


> I'm not offended at all by it (as some of you know I have exclusions from in laws in the past) but it just seems weird to me to have a "family photoshoot" at this point and MIL kind of forcing him on them by making them tell him "happy father's day" when they're uncomfortable.


You say you're not offended but it's obviously obthering you since you are saying it seems "weird" to you. So it bothers you on some level.

My family is very close. We still do family photoshoots. It's not weird to us. And we have had some funny/crazy/great pictures (and not-so-great pictures) throughout the years.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I'm with Jelly--my family does pictures, both arranged/posed or random snapshots just about anytime we're all together. We've had a few occasions where we've come together specifically for pictures--like doing a 5 generation picture after my cousin's first baby was born--but mostly we like to be able to share memories of the times we all get to be together. Since we've grown up and spread out, those times aren't as plentiful as they used to be.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

SugarMonstaa said:


> My mother in law got married a year ago to this man. They're planning on doing a family photo with all her kids (he has no children of his own). That means my husband, his two sisters, and they're all in their 20's. After that they would have a family dinner.
> 
> I think it's nice that they are doing a family thing to try to include him as family but then again it was HIS and MIL idea.
> 
> ...


Nope, not weird at all. Normal.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> You say you're not offended but it's obviously obthering you since you are saying it seems "weird" to you. So it bothers you on some level.
> 
> My family is very close. We still do family photoshoots. It's not weird to us. And we have had some funny/crazy/great pictures (and not-so-great pictures) throughout the years.


I guest I worded it oddly. I meant it's weird they're doing it because their mom wants to. I guess since she's been doing "Me and my kids" only type thing that she is doing this for her husband to feel like he's in the family so they are doing a photoshoot of "family" only. DH and sisters don't really like him all that much and it's kind of forced which I think is really weird.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I can understand your MIL wanting a family photo at her wedding to her new H, because that's what families are all about, IMO, and children's spouses are part of that family. 

However, your MIL's adult children having to wish her new H "Happy Father's Day" isn't appropriate.


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## agreenbough (Oct 1, 2012)

There's nothing weird about wanting photos with your adult children. They're your children. I don't even get along particularly well with my mother-in-law, but see no reason for her not to have photos with her kids, who are all over 40. It's not even an issue to me. Snap away.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

agreenbough said:


> There's nothing weird about wanting photos with your adult children. They're your children. I don't even get along particularly well with my mother-in-law, but see no reason for her not to have photos with her kids, who are all over 40. It's not even an issue to me. Snap away.


On another note, do you think it's sad if your parent-in-law has pics hanging of all her children but you? I noticed at my mother's my brother-in-law isn't in any of our photos around the house. But mostly the photos hanging are us when we were little or pics of me from high school that I put up myself lol.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SugarMonstaa said:


> I guest I worded it oddly. I meant it's weird they're doing it because their mom wants to. I guess since she's been doing "Me and my kids" only type thing that she is doing this for her husband to feel like he's in the family so they are doing a photoshoot of "family" only. DH and sisters don't really like him all that much and it's kind of forced which I think is really weird.


I still am not seeing what's weird about this. Most mothers love to have pics with their kids, no matter their age. 

Are you not close with your family? Or perhaps your family does not do this so you find it strange.

Do you not get along with your mother in law? What is the real reason it's upsetting you? My gut tells me something else is bothering you and so you are projecting that feeling, whatever that is, onto the family pictures that she wants to take...


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## agreenbough (Oct 1, 2012)

I don't care if my mil displays pictures of me or not. In all honesty, I do notice if she has pictures of her other grandkids, but not my kids, which has happened. But she does switch out her pictures evey once in a while, so it varies. Now, if she had pictues up of her other daughters-in-law, but not me, I would wonder....
Ultimately, it's her house so she can put up what she wants.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> I still am not seeing what's weird about this. Most mothers love to have pics with their kids, no matter their age.
> 
> Are you not close with your family? Or perhaps your family does not do this so you find it strange.
> 
> Do you not get along with your mother in law? What is the real reason it's upsetting you? My gut tells me something else is bothering you and so you are projecting that feeling, whatever that is, onto the family pictures that she wants to take...


If you read in the post I mentioned above it what was weird to me and what was misunderstood. Please see above. I think it's weird she's making it so "forced" and making it uncomfortable for them because they don't know him that well and she's making them try to see him as a father to them because he felt left out like I did (they had a tendency to exclude "non blood" if you read my other post)


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> I still am not seeing what's weird about this. Most mothers love to have pics with their kids, no matter their age.
> 
> Are you not close with your family? Or perhaps your family does not do this so you find it strange.
> 
> Do you not get along with your mother in law? What is the real reason it's upsetting you? My gut tells me something else is bothering you and so you are projecting that feeling, whatever that is, onto the family pictures that she wants to take...


I must be really weird... I still have my 35 year old son's baby teeth in a drawer next to my bed!:rofl:

Just because our children are adults, it doesn't mean that we no longer want to record visual memories of us being with them.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> I must be really weird... I still have my 35 year old son's baby teeth in a drawer next to my bed!:rofl:
> 
> Just because our children are adults, it doesn't mean that we no longer want to record visual memories of us being with them.


I should've worded it differently on the question as to "Do you find it weird to have family photos taken when your kids are adults and a newly married step parent in?"

But nevermind, lol

I guess it's as if my mom to were remarry and in less than a year and have all of us take photos with her husband for a "family" photo is what I'd think be weird...especially if I'm not close to the new step parent


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

SugarMonstaa said:


> I should've worded it differently on the question as to "Do you find it weird to have family photos taken when your kids are adults and a newly married step parent in?"
> 
> But nevermind, lol
> 
> I guess it's as if my mom to were remarry and in less than a year and have all of us take photos with her husband for a "family" photo is what I'd think be weird...especially if I'm not close to the new step parent t


In my sister's case she had a family photo with her step son, husband, their child, and her daughter...which is different because they were basically raised by them and had a role in the step child's life.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I'm guessing that she just wants a picture of her family _now_. And her new husband is part of her family--regardless of whether the kids picked him out or signed off on the marriage or not. It really doesn't seem any stranger than wanting to do a family picture after someone gets married or has a new baby. My grandmother and my parents have tons of pictures around of us from when we were babies probably up to this summer when we were all home for a funeral.


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## SugarMonstaa (Aug 30, 2013)

COGypsy said:


> I'm guessing that she just wants a picture of her family _now_. And her new husband is part of her family--regardless of whether the kids picked him out or signed off on the marriage or not. It really doesn't seem any stranger than wanting to do a family picture after someone gets married or has a new baby. My grandmother and my parents have tons of pictures around of us from when we were babies probably up to this summer when we were all home for a funeral.


That's the part where I think it's nice. In my previous posts I mentioned how they would exclude family by marriage from dinners that are "blood only". So I think this is a step


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

agreenbough said:


> I don't care if my mil displays pictures of me or not. In all honesty, I* do notice if she has pictures of her other grandkids, but not my kids, which has happened.*


Ok, so maybe this is the issue. which has happened. 




agreenbough said:


> Ultimately, it's her house so she can put up what she wants.


Indeed.

Also, if her kids do not want to take pictures in a family shoot, then they can just tell her No. They are adults, after all. But it seems like you may be the one who has the problem with it... especially if they have no qualms about taking those pics.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> I must be really weird... I still have my 35 year old son's baby teeth in a drawer next to my bed!:rofl:
> 
> Just because our children are adults, it doesn't mean that we no longer want to record visual memories of us being with them.


 <------------ teeth smiley

Hehehe.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

SugarMonstaa said:


> I should've worded it differently on the question as to "Do you find it weird to have family photos taken when your kids are adults and a newly married step parent in?"
> 
> But nevermind, lol
> 
> I guess it's as if my mom to were remarry and in less than a year and have all of us take photos with her husband for a "family" photo is what I'd think be weird...especially if I'm not close to the new step parent


SM, if I marry my SO, my son will definitely be at the wedding and most certainly in any group photographs. In fact, my son would probably walk me up the aisle. However, as an adult, I wouldn't expect him to view my SO as his step-father (even though, theoretically, he would be).


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

My parents have this one great photo taken a couple of years back when me and my siblings all happened to be in town at the same time. Grandmother, mom and dad, siblings and spouses, grandchildren. 4 generations. Me and my siblings are in our 40's or late 30's. Even my gay brothers partner is in the shot ... he's family too. Awesome photo.

That said, the father day thing seems inappropriate, forced and awkward.

_Posted via *Topify* using Android_


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