# Whats the real reason?



## circasurvive (Aug 4, 2010)

OK so its been about a month and a half sense me and my stbex have spilt and i havent talked to her sense i left. shes the one who broke it off with me after i found out she was trying to replace me/cheat on me. and the day before my birthday i get an email for her:

I know its been over a month since everything happened. I just wanted to make sure everything's going well for you. I'm sorry things ended this way, we always said if we did divorce we'd try to make it amicable. I don't want us to fight or be mean to one another, I never thought rumors would get spread. Sometimes I guess things don't happen the way you planned. I thought that things would be different I guess. I do hope you're doing well and that you are happier. I really do want to try to be friends, I do miss you in my life.
<3
<---- Her name here 

don't know what to make of it. she has sent me a few emails about the divorce paperwork and bills stuff that i have not responded to. this email as well. im just trying to make heads or tales of it... is she looking for some kind of ego boost? trying to play games with me? whats the deal?


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## MistersWife (Sep 26, 2010)

She did say she never thought rumors would get spread. There for people are talking and its making her look bad. She probably think you are the 1 talking to friends about it an they are talking to others. So if that's true she just want to friends so the rumors will stop. But I'm just guessing..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Not sure if its an ego boost, I would geuss to say that when you are married you truely care and love that other person, and she still does have feelings for you in some ways and just wanted to express those to you. Although she did leave looking for someone else, you guys had a big part in each others lives...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

She's fishing, plain and simple.

Keep to no contact. Also recognize that as she realizes the life she fantasized about is much different than the reality of being divorced she will undoubtedly try to reach out to you more. She will be doing so out of fear, not love. Just keep that in mind.


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## circasurvive (Aug 4, 2010)

Deejo said:


> She's fishing, plain and simple.
> 
> Keep to no contact. Also recognize that as she realizes the life she fantasized about is much different than the reality of being divorced she will undoubtedly try to reach out to you more. She will be doing so out of fear, not love. Just keep that in mind.


I don't know, i just think it may be driving her nuts that im not like every one of her ex boyfriends who has begged for her to come to them and plead and what not. i just cut her out of my life and have been ignoring her. i also have a feeling that this wont be the last email i get from her.


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## circasurvive (Aug 4, 2010)

MistersWife said:


> She did say she never thought rumors would get spread. There for people are talking and its making her look bad. She probably think you are the 1 talking to friends about it an they are talking to others. So if that's true she just want to friends so the rumors will stop. But I'm just guessing..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You do make a good point. i thought this as well.


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## lobokies (Sep 7, 2010)

many women ... when they decide to divorce is trying to be amicable .. they need their stbex to be their friends... this is the downside of the women...after dumping someone then she wants them to be friends. whenever she needs them, she could have their help .. this is really a ****in bull****.

just ignore her.

go on with your life.. you are a man.


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## Cgreene21 (Feb 11, 2010)

From my experience, I'd say that she is trying to make herself look/ feel better. Its a game. Don't play it.

I know you want to put as positive of a spin on it as you can...that maybe she has changed, maybe she misses you, etc...and maybe she does...but so what?

SHE is the one that tried to replace YOU. 

We can give you advice and tell you what we know from experience....only you can take action. The question you need to ask yourself, if she is only playing a game with you, do you really want to put yourself through anymore pain?


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## circasurvive (Aug 4, 2010)

Cgreene21 said:


> From my experience, I'd say that she is trying to make herself look/ feel better. Its a game. Don't play it.
> 
> I know you want to put as positive of a spin on it as you can...that maybe she has changed, maybe she misses you, etc...and maybe she does...but so what?
> 
> ...


You make a really good point! i don't want any pain at all i want to be happy, and your right she was the one trying to replace me. with all the psychological trauma she put me through i will NEVER forgive her. and she lost her privilege of being my friend when she did this to me. i wouldn't have a problem with being her friend if she was honest with me and told me the TRUTH and didnt try to replace me before i was gone.


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## healingme (Aug 21, 2010)

I know someone who was cheated on, and his ex tried desperately to be his friend. He said the most wise thing - "my friends would never do to me what you have done. Don't even bother dreaming of being in the same place as they are in my life."

It's pretty simple.


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

circasurvive said:


> You make a really good point! i don't want any pain at all i want to be happy, and your right she was the one trying to replace me. with all the psychological trauma she put me through i will NEVER forgive her. and she lost her privilege of being my friend when she did this to me. i wouldn't have a problem with being her friend if she was honest with me and told me the TRUTH and didnt try to replace me before i was gone.


I agree , friends would not do what she did to you . Dont respond to her crap .

Best of luck


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