# Grumpiness, "Resting Angry Face" and the impact on intimacy?



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I actually like Tommy Lee Jones as an actor, but we all have to admit he is always cast for roles of characters that are always grumpy, and he has almost such a pronounced resting angry face that you can almost laugh at him:










OK, in what movies does Tommy hook up with the leading lady? Well "Hope Springs" producers picked up on that and put him in a movie with Meryl Streep to poke fun at it.










But you have to admit once Tommy cracks a smile, it is very piercing and heartwarming.










So for those of us like myself that I am discovering that suffer from resting angry face, I am also discovering that we have extremely powerful smiles!

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

BS I think you are a great guy 

However it was not surprising to see it revealed that IRL you have a grumpy face/attitude at times. You remind me of many comedians that over compensate with comedy to hide their reality.

Not sure if you are really asking a question here but if so the answer is YES  A grumpy face, attitude is a sexy killer. 
FWIW IMHO my smile is my best attribute, I have seen over a life time how it can immediately change another's perspective of me or attraction to me. 

It is hard to fake a genuine smile, laugh. Humans can pick a forced smile or laugh.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MrsHolland said:


> You remind me of many comedians that over compensate with comedy to hide their reality.


Two sides of the same coin.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

MrsHolland said:


> You remind me of many comedians that over compensate with comedy to hide their reality.


But, but, this is the internet, reality is good (and bigger).


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

OK, so this evening I thought to myself that I was going to be in a positive mood, keep a smile on my face, and try to put a smile on my wife's face.

HOLY COW NO!!!!! She was in the mood to gripe and complain about her day. I asked what could I do to cheer her up, and I asked her to let go of a certain problematic topic after we went round and round with it over five times including talking about it in detail of how we feel (extremely upset) and exactly what we will do as a team to resolve it and we agree on it. Move on right? So I give her a back rub and she gives me one and she starts bringing up other problematic topics, and then spirals right back to the original. I get a little frustrated and ask her to just let the topic go that we have now discussed it to death. A few moments go by and she spirals right back into the exact same topic AGAIN for like the tenth time.

...I got up and just left! A _very rare_ move from me these days.

Perhaps this was karma giving me a lesson or something, I don't know. If my wife said OK, I want sex now, there would have been nothing on the planet that would be able to get me aroused as I was so put off by her ill mood. 

Yes, an ill mood is an absolute sex destroyer. Even for someone like me that can get a spark to fly out of my penis even when I have a 102.5ºF fever with a horrible runny nose and headache from the flu. 

OK, I get it now!!!!

Badsanta


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

badsanta said:


> OK, so this evening I thought to myself that I was going to be in a positive mood, keep a smile on my face, and try to put a smile on my wife's face.
> 
> HOLY COW NO!!!!! She was in the mood to gripe and complain about her day. I asked what could I do to cheer her up, and I asked her to let go of a certain problematic topic after we went round and round with it over five times including talking about it in detail of how we feel (extremely upset) and exactly what we will do as a team to resolve it and we agree on it. Move on right? So I give her a back rub and she gives me one and she starts bringing up other problematic topics, and then spirals right back to the original. I get a little frustrated and ask her to just let the topic go that we have now discussed it to death. A few moments go by and she spirals right back into the exact same topic AGAIN for like the tenth time.
> 
> ...


I don't think it usually works to tell someone to just "let go" of what is bothering them. If they are upset, they are upset. You don't have to agree with why they are upset. And you don't have to cheer them up. Just letting them express themselves to you, and acknowledging their feelings, can really calm things.

Next time your wife wants to vent, try Active Listening. Repeat her words back to her. Paraphrase her words. Ask an open-ended question, and then really listen to her response. If she feels like you are sincere, even if you disagree with her responses, she is likely to calm down and even express appreciation.

I'm sorry things are so difficult between you two lately, btw. I am sure that is stressful for both of you.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Bill Maher "accused" Bernie Sanders of having "Resting Kvetch Face."


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Bad Santa go have a look at The Betsy, a 70s film with Tommy Lee Jones. He was a hot little interloper in that film.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Sometimes a brooding man can be sexy! 
Like Batman... 











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