# Back and forth husband



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband is sending me mixed messages and I'm on a emotional roller coaster. He has told me he wants to reconsile, but I guess I don't know what that means to him.

He keeps talking about changing our lives....so talking about the future where we are together, at least I think I'm in the future.

He has made statements like lets runaway to the carribean forget the past and start over. 

We have seperate cell bills now and he recently is switching from AT&T to Verizon. He said I should call and check how much it would cost for me to drop AT&T. At BestBuy he asked the associate how much for a family plan instead of single plan. I was going to purchase a Verizon phone there, but they didn't have what I needed. So we went to the Verizon store....When we were there I instantly learned I would be paying my own phone on a single line. He said I'm not paying your bills. Its bad enough I have to pay your car and pay you $300 per week and that I needed to get a job. 

I stormed out of the store. We were in seperate cars and he called me. He said I showed my true colors and that divorce was the best answer. There was several other thigns to the conversation...thats too long for here...

He has told me several times he wants to reconsile and has also put it in the context of give our marriage anohter try. What does that mean?

My husband will not even hold my hand, doesn't want to go on dates. He will text me, but it seems to be about what he wants to do. I was going to change my life for him. He wants to buy an RV and we would possibly travel with him. He has to go where ever there is work and he may be leaving out of state soon.

I have felt closer to him though our texting conversation and conversation on the phone. We have gone to meals as a family together. I need something more and he wants friendship.

He keeps going back and forth. Mentioning reconsoliationa nd has said he has told his lawyer he wants to push out the divorce to see where things go. But yet he only wants to spend time with me in public or with the kids. Places that we can't talk openly. He wants to be friends, but he doesn't want to have fun with me like go to the movies, yet he wants to go look at RV's cause thats fun for him.

He blaims me for making him leave, putting a restraining order on him(which has been dismissed with my doing now) . Blaims me for believeing my parents and not listeneing to him back then.

I'm so tired of gettign happy, wanting him to be close to me, being lonely and then getting crushed again....I'm tired of not being able to do anyhting with him....

I wish I knew what reconsilation means. I want to move forward, but he seems to look backwards into the past


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## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

Is there another woman in the picture?? That maybe you don't know about? I acted a lot like your H, but I couldn't decide between my H or my OM. I know it tore my H up because I would be so wishy washy - he actually wanted me to go see a therapist because he thought I may be going nutty. I wasn't, just undecided and thought I loved 2 people.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why did you get a restraining order against him? Explain.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My HUsband can get very angry and my my parents were not helping the situation(I didn't know it then), but my parents were filling my head with lots of fears. My husband was going through counseling for himself, but I was afraid of his anger. I have had child hood abuse by both my parents and viewed his anger as abuse. It was enough to get a restraining order, but nothing dramatic..like beating a wife or anything. 

We also have 3 children with Autism. My parents have been blaming my husband for my kids being so messed up, esentially blaming him for the kids having autism. Our son is very severe autism who acts out a lot.

I recently found out that my parents broke into our house during the time the restraining order was still in effect. They took a large name plate off of our garage and hid it in the garage and left lights on int he house to make it seem like someone had been in the house.

My mom recently admitted to it. I knew the sign was missing for over a month now and just recently found the sign in the garage. My parents stopped contacting me after I told them through text that H and I were texting. So yesterday I asked my mom throguh text where the sign was. She replied its in the garage...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Jellybeans: I don't think there is another woman in the picture. He works long long hours at work and lives with his parents. He is texting me constantly from work and after work. He calls me on his way home. His jobsite is an hour and half away from where he is staying with his parents. 

If I ask him in person, text or email if he loves me he says he loves me and is still in love with me, but hes deeply hurt by how things all went down.

He wanted to talk to me so bad before he was served with the temporary restraining order, but I was instructed by where I got the restrainng order from to call the police...so he had no chance to explain himself and he feels very hurt for all that which happened at the very end of August.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Update on situation: My husband brought up cell phone contract stuff again yesterday. He now for sure wants to go to Verizon and purchase phones that will be on a family plan. He will pay the whole bill for Verizon monthly. I will pay for the new phones from things that have been sold.

So I guess he kept having doubts about reconsiling even though he wants too. 

HIm deciding to put both our phone numbers on teh same bill must be a huge step for him


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