# When my spouse is not around I...



## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

This is just a spot to post all your little "guilty pleasures" or things you hold off doing until on your own.
(Other than masturbating or something that's mean)

* I specified no masturbation bc I knew otherwise I wouldn't get any other posts on here


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Eat a big cup of frozen yogurt so I don't have to share.

Bwahahaha! I hate sharing food!


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

Eat mac n' cheese or dance to music videos.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My spouse is always around even when shes not. So when I like to rub one out about some bondage fantasy, it seems my wife is the one hanging upside down.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Read books instead of cleaning the house... Not that he would care either way, but it is so much better to sit & read when he is not around.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Play Scrabble online. We play sometimes, but I don't think he knows I'm a junkie.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Sing really loud! LoL!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

My H rarely gets out of bed and has turned into a mean old man (he's 48). On the rare occassions he does leave, I crank the stereo to 11, grab by bird Olivia and dance around the living room.

It is with my music VERY LOUD that I start to clean. It is no longer a chore when I am happily singing along. And then Mean Mister Mustard comes home, stereo goes off and he goes back to bed.Do you think I would be caught if I smothered him with a pillow?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

@endlessgrief,WTF is wrong with your man? Geez, I usually hang out in the "Coping With Infidelity" forum and if he knew what I know now he would see that if he doesn't step up, some other dude will. 
For christ sakes stop tolorating this crap and let him go, then it will be his choice to get up and turn the corner to keep you around.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> My H rarely gets out of bed and has turned into a mean old man (he's 48). On the rare occassions he does leave, I crank the stereo to 11, grab by bird Olivia and dance around the living room.
> 
> It is with my music VERY LOUD that I start to clean. It is no longer a chore when I am happily singing along. And then Mean Mister Mustard comes home, stereo goes off and he goes back to bed.Do you think I would be caught if I smothered him with a pillow?


Oh, I waz gonna post something great, but with the banhammer flying so hard and fast....
I better not!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I eat some desert that I don't have to share with him.

I do my girly beauty routines like tweezing, bleaching, etc.

I look at TAM instead of doing something productive with my time.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> My H rarely gets out of bed and has turned into a mean old man (he's 48). On the rare occassions he does leave, I crank the stereo to 11, grab by bird Olivia and dance around the living room.
> 
> It is with my music VERY LOUD that I start to clean. It is no longer a chore when I am happily singing along. And then Mean Mister Mustard comes home, stereo goes off and he goes back to bed.Do you think I would be caught if I smothered him with a pillow?


Yeah, what is it with these grumpy middle aged men? I am sure my hubby goes through more mood swings than I do & I am going through peri-menopause!


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## Texas Lady (Jul 18, 2012)

Let the dogs up on the couch, which he hates, and watch my reality TV shows;D


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Have a drink, once in a great great while have a couple hits of MJ, and write music. Though my husband smoked pot for like ten years straight and a few times did worse drugs like acid and shrooms back in the day...he gets all down on me and treats me like a junky if I have one or two drinks and God forbid I hit a joint a couple times. I've never been a pot head or a drunk and yet he treats me like I'm a recovering one. I don't get it. I don't do MJ when my kid is around though (when hubby's gone, which isnt too often), only if he's staying the night at a friend's or something.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Other than masturbating????

Never mind!


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

On my days off while she is at work, Me and my 12 year old lounge around almost all day in our pj's or underwear... no shirts... we eat lunch in the living room watching cartoon.


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Eat a big cup of frozen yogurt so I don't have to share.
> 
> Bwahahaha! I hate sharing food!


I detest sharing food & him always wanting a huge or sip of something. Get your own. I just relax and feel relieved bcuz I can do what I want, how & when I want & that includes sleep comfortably & not have sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

honeysuckle rose said:


> I detest sharing food & him always wanting a huge or sip of something. Get your own.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yea, I don't share food. With anyone. I would if they were dying...but I haven't encountered that yet.


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

When the SO is gone I'll usually read or be a nerd and see what else I can modify on my phone.


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## xena74 (May 5, 2012)

Take bubble baths and sing very loud


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Wow...everyone else has such innocent things they like to do when their spouses are not around. I feel like such a dark angel! LOL


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Let's see...

I like to curl up on the couch and watch trash tv (kardashians, real housewives, etc)...I never watch these shows when H is around.

I like to waste time on forums and other mind numbing internet activity.

I do my beauty routines...tweezing, waxing, face masks, etc. I also like to paint and file my nails (H has an aversion to the smell of nail polish and the sound of filing nails!).

I usually eat a big bowl of ice cream, bake a cake or brownies or cookies or something...eat an embarrassing amount of it.

I take a nap! I looove sleeping in the bed alone, in a quiet house, knowing no one will disturb me. Pure heaven. 

I masturbate...oh wait that wasn't something you wanted to know lol! H and I keep a decent sized porn collection and I like to spend time alone researching some new videos to add to that collection...anything I download he will see later that night.  

I know DH likes his alone time too. He mainly jerks off, watches espn and plays video games/surfs the web.

We get alone time maybe once or twice a year so its golden when it does happen!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Spend time at TAM or crank some rock music that she can't stand, maybe both.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I turn up my reggae music to maximum volume...
The bass usually causes everything to vibrate.
Many a time I've had to explain how come a glass vase of some one of her glass figurines ended up on the floor broken, or how come I didn't hear the phone.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Some things I have been doing recently when he isn't around is learning how to belly dance, strip dance, and doing some yoga along with the tae bo. The hell with waiting six fricken weeks lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tm84 (Jul 24, 2011)

On most of my days off, I'm usually at my studio making things, but if I happen to stay home and my wife is out to work, I'll listen to the music I like and leave the tv off. My wife loves having the tv on and with a couple of exceptions, I can go all week without watching it. 

Otherwise, I'm on the computer catching up on things on TAM and other places. Of course having the place to myself also means getting to leisurely rub one out wiithout worrying about her being around


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## docj (Jun 18, 2009)

Endless grief if you wanna talk im here. He xant keep ignoring you like tgos. You have needs too
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Love to sing! My spouse has a wonderful voice, but she totally trashes my singing voice - so I simply don't give her the privilege of enjoying it!!!


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Logging in on TAM.
Cooking seafood and vegetables that he doesn't like.
Watching arty movies and chick flicks.
Playing my music really loud.


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## Katiebird (Jun 7, 2010)

I turn all tv, etc OFF - it seems like when he is around there is always background noise. I read, research topics that I enjoy - places to travel, etc. (no porn), eat what I want, which is usually something easy and healthy (he's a steak and potatoes guy) and enjoy the quiet!


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

Turn the subwoofer up passed 5
Take my clothes off and relax in peace
Order steakhouse fries and not have to hear the bi!tching that the bacon isn't cooked right..


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

endlessgrief said:


> Do you think I would be caught if I smothered him with a pillow?


this might *ALMOST* be funny if my exw didnt tell me she used to stare at me in my sleep and think the same thing...for no particular reason, just to see if she could :/


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Coffee Amore said:


> I eat some desert that I don't have to share with him.
> 
> I do my girly beauty routines like tweezing, bleaching, etc.
> 
> I look at TAM instead of doing something productive with my time.


I was going to post...but Coffee Amore read my mind and posted for me


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> this might *ALMOST* be funny if my exw didnt tell me she used to stare at me in my sleep and think the same thing...for no particular reason, just to see if she could :/


That's creepy! :/


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Gaia said:


> That's creepy! :/


yes, she is


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Huh, I need to figure out something.

This is the first time wifey's traveled for work, I've got 4 days with me and the kids.


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## Cat3CatGirl (Jun 19, 2012)

Drink coffee. He hates the smell.


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

Picking my nose, farting and burping loudly, watching kiddie shows. Raiding the fridge with my kiddies.


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## DangerousCurves (Jul 18, 2012)

He has to have a lot of background noise when he is home, usually the tv on or music playing loudly (he use to do both at the same time!!!). So I get to enjoy the quiet when I have the house all to myself. Not much of a confession, I admit -lol.

I spend WAY more time on the computer than I let on. Just mind-numbing Internet browsing, visiting forums, and reading blogs.

I go through his stuff to find any hidden goodies 

I will rent a movie that I've been wanting to see but he keeps putting off watching with me.

I take naps.

Sometimes I will treat myself to a nice take-out lunch.

Treat myself to some Starbucks usually once a week eventhough I promised to quit. This is a big no-no! LOL

I feed the stray cats that come to our door. A HUGE NO-NO! I get into a lot of trouble for this one when I get caught.

That's about it really. Nothing too interesting.


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