# so ladies, how do I break the news?



## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

so my partner has been so far great to me, but i have been even greater to her with her situation and what I have to put up with. but thats ok. I do love her, really do.

I however did lie about my age only by 2 years. why? well its a long story but rather because of where I live and how people are. always quick to judge, always to put me down and ever give me a chance to do anything. I am actually far more intelligent and mature than the people of my real age and who are younger and even older than me!

thats why because I dont want the same crap to happen over and over where just because I am of a certain age or height, I get judged. I have always always had that. 

how do I break the news to her? 

it is common knowledge though, that women always lie about their age when dating


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I fail to recognize how 2 years matters unless the two years mean 16 instead of 18 or 19 instead of 21.......

Regardless, you lied....but depending on how far you are into your relationship she may not care. But guaranteed she will doubt other things about you and question their validity....


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

lostandfound2012 said:


> it is common knowledge though, that women always lie about their age when dating


No it's not common knowledge that women lie when dating.

Most women are confident without having to pretend to be something they are not.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

i think the problem here is that you worry to much about what others think...are you living up to their expectations, or your own?
you dont need to lie about your age. how do you know that she wouldnt have accepted you regardless of that? but one strange otter is right. she will question you now about other things.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

one_strange_otter said:


> I fail to recognize how 2 years matters unless the two years mean 16 instead of 18 or 19 instead of 21.......
> 
> Regardless, you lied....but depending on how far you are into your relationship she may not care. But guaranteed she will doubt other things about you and question their validity....


:iagree:

Age stops making a difference after the age of, say, 18? How old are you, 12?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Wow, lying is never good. You better break it to her ASAP. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. 

You simply can not start a relationship with lies, ever. Even the simplest smallest lies can lead to trust issues. You should of been honest and upfront from the start.

Good luck. It depends how forgiving she is as far is how she'll handle it, but the longer you wait the worse off you'll be for sure!


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## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

thanks. 
well I have to disagree on a level that women DO lie about their age. they even admit it! so please, who says they dont is a liar 

but seriously, I kind of said to her that I have something to confess and she said:



> I want you to be able to feel you can tell me things. At times I feel like you are holding back in our conversations. I want you to feel comfortable taking to me. After all I rant a lot and you always listen, I don't want this to be one sided. Please talk to me open and honest. Hope your having a good afternoon.
> 
> Miss you bunches!!
> 
> XOXO


I am of course just under 30 so its not like a legal thing. she is older (around 5 years) and is never been an issue even though we spoke about this right at the beginning. and age shouldnt matter but in my experience women always have this thing with age. even if you are one year younger or older they make a song and dance about it and be totally nasty about it. in my experience at least.

but she is different. I told her things I wouldn't normally talk about. she understands and cant believe why those things have happened to me. but nonetheless she has always said "my feelings for you havent changed. they wont"

the age is nothing compared to people who cheat or have hidden wives/husbands or kids and lie about it. give me some credit given my past and large negitive experiences.


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## OneLoveXo (Jun 5, 2012)

Seriously, 2 years is nothing. Just explain why you lied. I honestly don't think she will fuss over the two years. Women live typically on average seven years longer than man, so if you think about it you will just get to be longer together


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## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

thank you. thats very sweet of you to say so


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

'women' is not a single entity, you know. So 'they' can't say anything. I don't lie about my age and I'm a woman. I'm 39, nearly 40. Fine with me. 

If I were your girlfriend I'd be a lot more concerned about your stupid gender generalizations than your age-lie.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

Lyris said:


> 'women' is not a single entity, you know. So 'they' can't say anything. I don't lie about my age and I'm a woman. I'm 39, nearly 40. Fine with me.


It seems like women only lie to other women about age. I remember my mother's friends saying some weird crap about when women are too old to have kids. My mom stayed quiet about her age because she was easily 10 years older than anyone else at the table. Age is one of those things women seem to care about. Men just care about looks. Elvira is 60 years old, but she's still hot so it doesn't matter.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

SOME women--as well as some men--are liars. So what?

You are the one who has made age an issue, by lying about it. At 30 you should be able to see that your younger self was pretty immature--forgive that error, 'fess up NOW (yes, the longer you wait the worse it will be), and accept the consequences. 

Your explanation for lying sounds like "other people made me do it," which comes across as really immature. Saying, "I was stupid and made a poor choice because I wanted to impress/embarrass/seem smarter than others [or whatever]" is taking ownership of your actions. 'd lean toward the latter explanation, because no one wants to hear their 30 year old boyfriend say, "But he MADE me do it!"


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I thought you were going to say something more monumental like you had a same sex experience in the past or that you were arrested for something long ago.

Your age difference with her is minor. Lying about it actually makes you seem immature and younger. The age difference is nothing, but the way you handled it isn't very grown up. 

Also, just because others do things that are far worse is NEVER a good reason to minimize what you've done. Your lie isn't on the same level as infidelity of course. But you don't have to compare what you did to something so extreme like adultery either. 

Tell her the truth and keep telling her the truth. That's the only way you'll make the relationship work.


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## lostandfound2012 (Apr 23, 2012)

im actually quite shocked at the responses from a community that is meant to be supportive.

you dont know my past or what ive been through or how things are, then you have the audacity to judge. that is immature there, not me. 
you do realise that you arent "perfect" yourselves yes? so please, dont be hypocritical. 

i was asking for advice, not judgemental statements or anything. i dont think i deserve that to be frank since I dont do that to anyone else. no matter what I do, damned if I do and damned if I dont. 

ok.... nevermind. sometimes I wonder why I bother or even why I am breathing to be frank.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

lostandfound2012 said:


> it is common knowledge though, that women always lie about their age when dating


No it's not "common knowledge that women lie about their age when dating".

When I'm dating, if and when I find out she's lied, that's all I need to hear to know she's not relationship material.

That's only happened a few times to me, I've found most women I meet to be honest and they post their true ages.

Why do you feel the need to justify your lying by making up a statistic that women always lie about their ages?

It would be like saying "I robbed a bank but thats ok because most people rob banks".

Your attitude and self rationalization is worse than the actual lying, you don't seen to feel at all bad about it!

To answer your question, tell her you lied and deal with the aftermath however she sees fit.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

OneLoveXo said:


> Seriously, 2 years is nothing. Just explain why you lied. I honestly don't think she will fuss over the two years. Women live typically on average seven years longer than man, so if you think about it you will just get to be longer together


This...









_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It's ok. Problem is already solved. He's no longer with this woman, and is looking for advice on their online dating sites. Because obviously, the problem is the sites and their clientele, not his lack of acceptance of who he is.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

lostandfound2012 said:


> im actually quite shocked at the responses from a community that is meant to be supportive.
> 
> you dont know my past or what ive been through or how things are, then you have the audacity to judge. that is immature there, not me.
> you do realise that you arent "perfect" yourselves yes? so please, dont be hypocritical.
> ...


Actually you were looking for people to support and condone your lying and immature behavior. No, that isn't what this website is about.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Actually you were looking for people to support and condone your lying and immature behavior. No, that isn't what this website is about.


ESPECIALLY when he posts this:



lostandfound2012 said:


> she just was a hypocrite and lied about a few things which I then found out about.


So... SHE was a liar and a hypocrite but it's ok for him to lie about his age because "women always do it".


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## user79 (Aug 7, 2012)

Age is only a number! If she loves you, she will understand. But there is no need for lies like this If you are confident in yourself, then who cares about what others think about a 2 year age difference?


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