# More Craziness



## movingforward2013 (Jan 26, 2013)

My ex seems to be coming out of his fog, realizing how much this mess he made is going to cost him in terms of child support and visitation. He still won't make a move to fix this, even though crazy me would reconcile if he were truly remorseful.
Yesterday we texted and he revealed to me that he would take our son full time so I can be "free". I told him no, my son and I are a package deal and no man will separate us. Then he was like he would like more time with him so maybe I would let my son live with him during the summers. Again, I said no. I told him that I didn't cause this mess so I will not punish myself from being away from my son for a month. I told him he should come to home during his days off (he lives in a different state for work) and he will be able to see his son all he wants. He said that it is getting too expensive to travel here frequently. I said, if he didn't do what he did, then I would have been movi down there at the end of this year to be with him AND our son wouldn't have to grow up with a split family. My ex is now paranoid that another man will take his place as his father. Seems like more of a reason to reconcile and fix your family but I guess confronting your demons are too hard.

We have child support court in 3 weeks. I wonder what else will he say. And for the record, I honestly doubt he would be able to handle being a single father. He lives in a new state, doesn't know anyone, works at 4 AM everyone morning and doesn't know how to forward think. Who would watch our son at 4 AM when he is working? What happens if our son gets sick? How will he get our son to school? His suggestion was obviously a desperate attempt. Maybe he is afraid of the child support order about to be handed to him.

Any thoughts? Especially from the WS? Why won't this man just fix his family and keep us together? Pride? Still in fog? His mother doesn't like me and I know that is part of it but he stood up to her for our relationship before.


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## movingforward2013 (Jan 26, 2013)

I should also mention that 3 weeks ago I told him I was dating again after he questioned me about it. I also then told him not to ask me about my personal life as his focus should be on his son. So maybe that is why he isn't trying to fix this as he is afraid that I will reject him?


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

If you don't mind me asking how long were you married? How long have you been seperated? & How old is your son?


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## movingforward2013 (Jan 26, 2013)

smallsteps said:


> If you don't mind me asking how long were you married? How long have you been seperated? & How old is your son?


Good question. Our son is 2 years old... Here is my summary from another forum I am on as the story is confusing.



We had been together since June 2008, had a son together in September 2010 and planned our wedding for December 2012. A few months before the wedding, he relocated for a new job opportunity, which his son and I were to follow shortly afterward. 
About a week before the wedding, he started acting funny saying he wanted to call it off. He had met someone and they were only friends but it was a signal to him maybe he shouldn't be married yet. For 4 days we went back and forth when I desperately asked him to make a decision. He chose to get married. 
Two days after the wedding, he started acting funny again by not sleeping in the same bed with me. I finally asked him what was wrong and he dropped the "I love you but I am not in love with you." We agreed to take a break, which I distinctly said not to bring a third party into the relationship until we figured out what to do.
Well, he didn't listen and started sleeping with other woman immediately once he returned to his apartment... Who knows, maybe they had been sleeping together the whole time. I guess guilt got the best of him he ended up asking me to come to his apartment with our son for Christmas to spend time as a family. Once I got there, he was again acting weird so while he slept, I went through his phone and found almost everything out.
Not in limbo because I left him but I still do love him and hopes he mans up and does what he needs to do to fix this and us before my feelings fade away.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

I don't know what the heck hes thinking with the he'll take your son so you can be free bs & then when you said no he said he'll take him for the summer - it just seems so extreme. Visitation should be more a shared thing - be careful with that. My kids are much older so that really isn't an issue in my case

What I can identify with is the walk away part but mine did it after 25 yrs right after new years. I'm not sure what these walk aways are thinking. Truth is mine has yet to tell me why. He just said hes not happy & found someone else who hes happy with. At first I had it in my head that I could take him back if he agreed to marriage counceling & agreeing to really work on our problems but as time had passed I now realize hes never going to change & I deserve better. I also realize if he tried to come back its not for me - its for our kids or financial reasons and I cant live with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

It sounds as if your WH doesn't know what he wants. I think you need to ask yourself what you want for you & your son.


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