# EX's actions reaffirms it's all about her



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Hey everyone. Many of you know my recent story of my ex having her BF watch my kids for most of the summer while their mom was at work. Despite her promises that this was false, the kids confirmed when they returned home.

The BF who has anger issues never laid a hand on my kids, but yelled at them and constantly argued with their mom in front of them and his own kids.

Turns out I discovered she dumped him a week after my kids returned home to me.

Do I feel bad for the guy? Nope. Terrible relationship between two people with a lot of issues.

But it did reaffirm that she's still the self-centered & selfish person who left me. I even wonder if she has some sort of personality disorder. To use people for her own personal gain.

To use the guy to watch her kids most of the summer(despite her knowing I was not happy he was going to watch them and her own son does not like him), and to have him work on unfinished projects in her home and to pay for their RV trip. And who knows what else. And in the end dumps him once services are complete.

I'm thankful for her recent actions, for it's a reminder of who she has become and who she really is. I hope this is fresh on my mind the next time I get that "friendly" phone call from her in the future.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

I remember your thread, onward and upward:smthumbup:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hi ya!

On the surface it does sound like she picked the moment that served her to dump him. But, there is a chance that she tried and it just did not work. And that the timing is more of a coincidence.

Don't spend a lot of your energy trying to figure out what's going on in her head. It will drive you nuts.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

You're right Ele. Yet, I find myself analyzing her actions from time to time, especially when it directly affects me and the kids. I think a big part of my analyzing her is to gain affirmation that she is still a screw up and that I'm not at fault as much as I think I am for the ending of our marriage and that I continue to provide a safe and comfortable environment for my kids.
I really hope that as time goes on I spend less and less time analyzing her actions and focus 100% of my time and effort with me and my kids. I'm definitely better about this now than a year or two ago.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Houstondad said:


> You're right Ele. Yet, I find myself analyzing her actions from time to time, especially when it directly affects me and the kids. I think a big part of my analyzing her is to gain affirmation that she is still a screw up and that I'm not at fault as much as I think I am for the ending of our marriage and that I continue to provide a safe and comfortable environment for my kids.
> I really hope that as time goes on I spend less and less time analyzing her actions and focus 100% of my time and effort with me and my kids. I'm definitely better about this now than a year or two ago.


It's good that you understand where your thoughts are coming from. Somehow you need to come to a point where you accept that you did the best your could under the circumstances. She is the one who cheated and left you. I do not recall there being any chance for reconciliation.

Just take care of your children and yourself. Stop thinking about her.

What are you doing for yourself these days?


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

I find myself forgetting all the things I tried once she confessed and was deep in the fog. I remember all of my faults she pointed out...of course after she revealed she was having an affair. Yeah, my efforts to save the marriage was futile but I never regret how much I tried. And boy did I! I needed that reminder. Thanks. 
I'm busy with school right now and doing things with my kids. I'm a junior high counselor. Ironic, isn't it? Haha. They say we become counselors because of our past. I was in the minority. Happy and very content with my entire life until I got my counseling degree. How about you?


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