# "sexting"



## bridetobe11 (Sep 27, 2010)

i just got engaged recently and my fiancee keeps sexting other women and sometimes he even recieves naughty pics. i caught him talking to other women online also. i've caught this more than once and i dont know what to do. i'm just hurt. he hasnt physically cheated on me but it still hurts to find sex texts on his phone from random women. i'm debating on calling off the wedding which is only six months away. everytime i talk to him about it he says well dont be going through my phone and you wont see it. the last time he said he deleted them but my problem is how am i to know that they dont talk still?? they probably have his number. maybe i have trust issues, i dont know, i just know this really hurts. he claims all his friends do this sexting crap and that even his girl friends get drunk and send out naughty pics...talking about having no class!! what am i going to do?? i cant change his friends but at the same time they need to get some class and stop acting like ****s! i told him that and he just got more mad accusing him of having no class...what is a girl like me to do?? i dont know how much more of this i can take...


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## bridetobe11 (Sep 27, 2010)

and also there is some chic in his military unit that he seems a little too found with..they call her toomey. there has been a few people in the unit that say he is jealous and i am starting to see why. he seems obsessed with this chic. she is having marriage issues so she runs to him for advice. i can understand friendly support but go see a councelor. turns out they ended up going to a bar together and she ended up going back to the house he was staying at. he says nothing happened and that she slept in a different room but today i found out that she made out with his friend lindsay which was not said before. and now he is talking bout having this chic in our wedding..he hardly ever brought up her until this situation occured and now it is like they are best friends. what am i suppose to do about this??


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## MrsJT (Sep 26, 2010)

This isn't the Free Love era. 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. With my own marital drama right now, I am certainly no authority on relationships, but one thing I do feel is that your Fiance's behavior is unacceptable and entirely disrespectful. By accepting this behavior, you are teaching him how to treat you. It's healthy to have certain guidelines drawn in the sand (and enforced) that should not be crossed. I feel that you only have trust issues with this because as far as I see it, you've been given plenty of reason to not trust...but at the same time, respectfully, you are condoning it by allowing it to go on. If it were a Fiance of mine doing this to me...no matter how badly it hurt me, I'd be riding off on the fastest donkey I could find waving 'Adios Amigo!' (I've kicked my husband out of the house when I really didn't WANT over our own issues and it hurt like the worst hell...but I had to...I love him, but I love ME more).

Seems to me that there's "one too many people sleeping in the bed that you share with him." In my opinion, either they have to go bye bye...or you do. Unfortunately, for them to go and for him to take a look at his behaviors and want to change them for himself and for you...and as much as it will pain you, he may have to experience losing you first. Only you can decide what you want your future to hold. If it's difficult now...a marriage license won't clean it up. Please do not get caught up in that illusion. Marriage brings additional challenges. 

Good luck to you, I hope to hear how it all works out.


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## midwestshopgrl (Sep 24, 2010)

bridetobe11 said:


> and also there is some chic in his military unit that he seems a little too found with..they call her toomey. there has been a few people in the unit that say he is jealous and i am starting to see why. he seems obsessed with this chic. she is having marriage issues so she runs to him for advice. i can understand friendly support but go see a councelor. turns out they ended up going to a bar together and she ended up going back to the house he was staying at. he says nothing happened and that she slept in a different room but today i found out that she made out with his friend lindsay which was not said before. and now he is talking bout having this chic in our wedding..he hardly ever brought up her until this situation occured and now it is like they are best friends. what am i suppose to do about this??


i too am having my own marriage troubles and i know how it feels to not trust. This contact that he is having with other women is not okay and will more than likely get worse not better! You need to get this taken care of before you get married. He needs to make a choice. If he cant or wont respect you and the sanctity of a monogamous relationship he shouldnt be the one that you choose to marry. Trust your feelings! Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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