# why would wife not want to O



## cheese puff (Jul 24, 2011)

Wife and i have been working on our sex life. she has now figured out how get off but will stop me. last night we where having sex. it was getting very good, she would get to the point she was going to get off but would make me stop.she did this 3 times. when we stop her legs will tremble and she seems to be enjoying it. I ask her why she said she just could not take it. when wife has a O she says she loves the feeling, but her mind tells her she is loosing control. she squirts uncontrollably once she gets off, hates the mess and feels like she urinates all over me.I must say i love it . If you read back threw my old post you will see she was abused as a child. i think it maybe coming from that any thoughts. If she new i posted this she would kill me.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Sounds like she gave you the answer of why she doesn't want to. 

It reminds me of when people say they don't like to drink alcohol due to the control factor. When they do drink they seem to be having a super time. In the morning, however, they are fraught with things they said under the influence and feel bad about themselves for not having more control. The end result does not justify the moment. 

Perhaps she will grow into it. Lucky lady!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It probably stems from feelings of shame which is generalized to all those silly and messy things the sexually aroused lady parts do.

Keep telling her you love it. Keep telling her you want her to orgasm. Keep telling her you wish she would soak the whole bed, put a towel down so at least that one aspect won't be in the way. And don't forget shower sex!

I had a LOT, I mean almost exclusively, shower sex in the beginning of my transformative stage. I had lots of issues with body excretions and shame. I found shower sex helped because it all washed away before I really became aware of what I had excreted. I remember sniffing, being very very concerned that what came out was not urine or god forbid feces. The scent of strong shampoo or soap helped because I could only smell things associated with clean. Remember, scents play a STRONG role of visceral memory. 

I gotta say Cheese, you two are doing great!


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## cheese puff (Jul 24, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> I gotta say Cheese, you two are doing great!


this February will be 6 years i have been working to get my marriage to where it is today. the last 2 years my wife has been working on it. we where talking this week, how 5 years ago we both almost threw in the towl and ended the marriage. She said at the time she only stayed because of the kids and i was a great father. She says now she cant wait to get home from work, she looks foward to the weekend together and we send text all day.The quality of our relationship is wonderful now and the sex is great.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

What Anon Pink said. 

Generally the older a woman gets the less self-conscious and insecure. Is she in counseling? Talk to her about trust as well. She probably has some hang-ups there as well and needs to know that you'll never laugh at her or belittle her no matter what - even if it WAS urine (tho odds are it isn't). Fact is you'd probably love it if she could lose control with you. 

But losing control, especially someone who has had their trust violated in the worst of ways, will be very difficult for her and will take time. You've seen tons of improvement and it will continue.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Tell her that it's perfectly fine for her to have her O as long and hard as she can. Sex is supposed to be fun and if she's worried about the "wet spot" on the sheet. Do like my first wife did. We bought those heavy diaper pads that you put down on the changing table. Buy a few and use them. It's a shame that she has to hold back and I'm sure you feel bad about it too. Anyhow, I thought if it worked for us, it might work for you guys too.


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