# Sex addict Husband



## enaid1989 (Jun 26, 2012)

I am in the early stages of finding out my husband is a sex addict. Even though he seems to be doing all the right things: 12 step program, Sex addiction therapist, Bible study. He is very defensive about his past, often gets angry especially when confronted with new evidence. I am afraid he will never be able to be completely honest in the full disclosure his therapist wants him to complete, because unless I confront him with evidence he has only admitted to the bare minimum. He's lied on top of lies, and the trust is completely broken. He says he loves me still but because he has lied about every thing so far how can I be sure he's not lying about that too? Also because he seems so definsive stil, I'm wondering whether he could be acting out still in ways that doesn't cost money. Looking for insight.

Thanks!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Sex is important in a amrriage, but it falls behind trust. It doesn't matter, in my opinion, if your husband is lying about sex addition or about sneak off to go watch a ball game. He's lying, and you've said you can't trust him. Unless you can trust your husband, what's the point? Without trust, there is no marriage, not a true, proper, caring, two-way marriage.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

what is sex addiction?


I ask in all seriousness. is he watching hours of porn and neglecting his family duties?
is he going to prostitites and cheating on you putting your health at risk?
is he so preoccupied he can't get anything else done or in worry of lossing his job?



or is he just married to a really consersitive wife who don't think sex should be improtant in marriage?

again I'm just trying to see if he really has a problem or if its a preconcieved problem because your sex drive are far apart.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Sexual acting out has little to do with sex per se. Instead it is a symptom of something else. The person is using sex to self medicate feelings caused by any number of psychological problems from depression to childhood trauma. 

Ironically sexual "addicts" (still not an officially recognized diagnosis) usually suffer from a fear and discomfort with intimacy and seek sexual partners they can hold at arms length emotionally or ways of sexual release that don't involve another person at all.

I'd stay away from Pastoral Counseling, Bible Studies, 12 Step Groups, Marital Counseling or Sex Therapy. All these do is attempt to treat the "scratch" and not the "itch"

Psychotherapy with a qualified Psychologist or Psychiatrist is your best bet in getting to the root of the problem the person is using sex (or drugs, alcohol, gambling, food etc) to try to compensate for. And once that is discovered, treatment can begin.


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