# How soon is too soon?



## firebelly (May 24, 2012)

Hello All - I"m new to this site, but have found some great insight. I'm especially impressed with all the thought and emotional effort that the men on this site seem to be putting into their relationships. I've just never been with a man like that (so kinda didn't think they existed.)

I'm sure this question has come up before, but is there a "too soon" to start dating again from a psychological standpoint? My stbxh and I decided on divorce (i.e. he told me he didn't want to be married anymore) at the end of March and I already (in May) find myself searching online dating sites. I have not been happy in our marriage for probably the last 4 years, so it is mostly a relief to me. While there's a big part of me that's ready to move on to someone better, there's another part of me that REALLY just wants to crawl away and lick my wounds and not be subject to yet another man's bull**** for a while; not have to be working on a relationship - which isn't exactly the kind of open-heart one might ideally bring into a new relationship. Know what I mean? Any thoughts?


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## SPRelationshipCounselling (May 23, 2012)

Part of you feels ready to move on to someone better and part of you wants to lick your wounds and self-protect. How you feel makes sense.
If you want to go on a dating site , give it a try. You can go slow and see how you feel at each step. Slow is good! It's OK to find out if you are ready by doing. If you listen to your feelings step by step you will be OK.


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## firebelly (May 24, 2012)

Ah...thank you. That really rings true. It's okay to see if I'm ready by doing and if I listen to my feelings every step of the way I'll be okay. Yes. Good good advice.


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