# Making Love or ****ing?



## Epifany (Jun 11, 2016)

I’m curious....

Is there a difference between the two? I gather that making love involves really being more ‘intimate’ and ‘close’ and ‘softer’ ? I don’t know like you’re supposed to feel this huge electric connection in your heart too?

Whereas ****ing is just hot and it’s all about getting off? I’ve been thinking about this because I feel my H and I don’t make love per se we just get right to it, it’s hot most of the time, we both always have happy endings but am I missing out on love making??


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I don't think that the difference is what you think it is.

****ing is when there is no emotions are involved. It's done as a selfish act with no interest for focus on the other person. 

Love making can be hot and heavy or soft and sweet, or anything in between. But there is a strong, good emotional connection between the two people involved.


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## Epifany (Jun 11, 2016)

I


EleGirl said:


> I don't think that the difference is what you think it is.
> 
> ****ing is when there is no emotions are involved. It's done as a selfish act with no interest for focus on the other person.
> 
> Love making can be hot and heavy or soft and sweet, or anything in between. But there is a strong, good emotional connection between the two people involved.



Thanks this helps


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

I actually think there are three scenarios-

Making love
F'ing
Having sex

The last one occurs perhaps before you're ready but it's not entirely selfish and physical. Perhaps more experiential? It's initially physical but allowed to happen because there is a relationship of sorts. Just doesn't have to be very emotional.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sounds like you are good as long as other aspects are good as well.

I both make love to and totally fk Mrs. Conan but I always love her.

I fkd her today. We are trying to make sure to have sex at least once a day and today she initiated and I made sure she got off but I mauled her body and did her pretty hard with her groaning and moaning with the pressure I was exerting.

Yesterday, I made toe curling love to her.

She likes it all but there is a difference.

Fing her is like animals mating and making love is on a much higher order with more tenderness , kissing and intimacy.

Today I was screwing the hell out of her and she had that just fd look all day. It put color in her cheeks and made her look more attractive with good color and clarity in her eyes.

It's all good as long as you two love each other.


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## DeEva (Apr 28, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Sounds like you are good as long as other aspects are good as well.
> 
> I both make love to and totally fk Mrs. Conan but I always love her.
> 
> ...


i agree with you


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In a good relationship there's always an emotional bond when either a romantic session is desired or pure ****ing. 

Both are part of the best relationships and each session may contain a mixture.

There are true romantic times, slow, building, with candles and some good Eric Clapton slow blues on Alexa. 

And then there are Led Zeppelin encounters, a good time had by all.

The mixture is really up to each couple.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Epifany said:


> Is there a difference between the two? I gather that making love involves really being more ‘intimate’ and ‘close’ and ‘softer’ ? I don’t know like you’re supposed to feel this huge electric connection in your heart too?
> 
> Whereas ****ing is just hot and it’s all about getting off?
> 
> I missing out on love making??


My perspective, yours may differ: To me making love is about building the bond between my wife and myself. It is about connecting emotionally and physically. Yes, if you have not experienced it, you are missing out on something very special.

I love the intimacy of making love, of holding my W in my arms of looking at her face and body and the wonderfulness of feeling our relaxed bodies just holding each other after romantic sex.

F.....ing on the other hand is about raw passion. In D Schnarch's book Intimacy and Desire he has a section on F...ing. Not all the time, but some of the time my wife loves being ravished by me. She feeds off my passion and desire for her. To her, it is a great turn on to be ravished by me and feel how much I need her, how much I want her. It is not about my using her, it is about unleashing my desire and passion.

Good luck.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Epifany said:


> I’m curious....
> 
> Is there a difference between the two? I gather that making love involves really being more ‘intimate’ and ‘close’ and ‘softer’ ? I don’t know like you’re supposed to feel this huge electric connection in your heart too?
> 
> Whereas ****ing is just hot and it’s all about getting off? I’ve been thinking about this because I feel my H and I don’t make love per se we just get right to it, it’s hot most of the time, we both always have happy endings but am I missing out on love making??


There is a difference, but it's not an objective one. What is making love to you, is not necessarily the same for me. I've made no secret that I am into BDSM. I have done bondage scenes that have been described by my partners as making love to them, and not all of those sessions involved any real sex. Your F'k'ing is someone else's love making, and vice versa.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Everyone is going to have their own view so I don't think there's a right or wrong.

I certainly can't speak for all women but for me, getting f'd is something that you know when it's happening to you. There's no ambiguity when a guy is f'ing you. It's not like you're trying to decide if it's love making or f'ing! Like when you're teetering on the brink of not being able to physically take it anymore. Like when it feels like he's completely controlling you.

Unlike what some others are saying, for me it's VERY emotional even when it was a one night stand. Feeling like you're completely in someone else's hands and you're vulnerable is a very intense physical and emotional experience.

Just my views.


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## Saibasu (Nov 3, 2016)

For me the two are distinct not by the actions but by the meaning behind them. I associate ****ing with little concern for the other party, just a humping, mindless grind per say. But making love involves feelings, and that does NOT mean slower, and more intimate. Me and my husband "make love" because we are bonded, but slow, gentle sex sounds HORRIBLE. We "make love" hard, and the absolute furthest thing from gentle, but I stil consider it intimate.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

OP...do you feel like you are missing out by some of your sessions not being more what you would consider “making love”?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

JustTheWife said:


> Everyone is going to have their own view so I don't think there's a right or wrong.


My interpretation of making love is more around the sensual, perhaps erotic, more considered; doesn't necessarily mean slow and gentle. Whereas straight up fking is more raw; but not void of emotional connection.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Epifany said:


> I’m curious....
> 
> Is there a difference between the two? I gather that making love involves really being more ‘intimate’ and ‘close’ and ‘softer’ ? I don’t know like you’re supposed to feel this huge electric connection in your heart too?
> 
> Whereas ****ing is just hot and it’s all about getting off? I’ve been thinking about this because I feel my H and I don’t make love per se we just get right to it, it’s hot most of the time, we both always have happy endings but am I missing out on love making??


How's the build-up before you 'get right into it'?

What I value with the more sensual side of intimacy is the exploration of one another, engaging various senses, the heightened state of being together, sustained awareness and arousal, which is mutually replenishing and deeply connecting. Oh mmrreeeow.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

heartsbeating said:


> My interpretation of making love is more around the sensual, perhaps erotic, more considered; doesn't necessarily mean slow and gentle. Whereas straight up fking is more raw; but not void of emotional connection.


I tend to see it that way too. As a woman, I don't understand how anyone can have sex of any kind without strong emotion and emotional connection. It's the most intimate act possible, especially when it's intense f'ing and it's like the guy is completely in control of you. I think that's why promiscuity is destructive for some people (especially women).


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## Bobbyjo (May 3, 2020)

Epifany said:


> I’m curious....
> 
> Is there a difference between the two? I gather that making love involves really being more ‘intimate’ and ‘close’ and ‘softer’ ? I don’t know like you’re supposed to feel this huge electric connection in your heart too?
> 
> Whereas ****ing is just hot and it’s all about getting off? I’ve been thinking about this because I feel my H and I don’t make love per se we just get right to it, it’s hot most of the time, we both always have happy endings but am I missing out on love making??


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## Bobbyjo (May 3, 2020)

I’m curious to know what your idea of making love is and if you feel like it’s something your getting or not? Your thought process leads me to believe that you might like more intimate and tender connections with your husband? If I’m right, I would encourage you to ask your husband some questions on his views and for you to share yours. Men are visual and they like seeing their wives look alluring and sexy. It allows him to feel like he matters enough and “desired enough” that your willing to make the effort to do this for him. As long as he isn’t asking you to do things that crosses any of your boundaries. You also deserve some respect and some give and take as to what your needs are.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

JustTheWife said:


> It's the most intimate act possible, especially when it's intense f'ing and it's like the guy is completely in control of you.


The word 'control' caught my attention. It's a funny thing. Every so often, if we're in a position where I can do this, I might grip his hair and whisper closely into his ear something that he's not expecting (such as, 'Remember to do the dishes after this..' ...yes, I'm kidding!). When I whisper a few choice sexy words, he absolutely loses his mind; which I love.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

JustTheWife said:


> I tend to see it that way too. As a woman, I don't understand how anyone can have sex of any kind without strong emotion and emotional connection. It's the most intimate act possible, especially when it's intense f'ing and it's like the guy is completely in control of you. I think that's why promiscuity is destructive for some people (especially women).


Why can't it be intense f'ing and the woman is in complete control of the guy?


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> Why can't it be intense f'ing and the woman is in complete control of the guy?


I never said that it can't be! I just gave my opinion of what f'ing is to me. For me it's a very action oriented word - a penis pumping hard into an orifice. I don't see women f'ing men - maybe with a dildo LOL. Even if a woman is very dominant (I'm certainly NOT) I don't see that as her f'ing him but I can see how some might. Since I'm not dominant, I'm not really concerned with that. I don't think you can really F something without a penis or some substitute for a penis. That's just how i see it.


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## Bobbyjo (May 3, 2020)

my view on making love is being connected on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. I like foreplay. Not in only sexually but on a heart level. Flirting with other, uplifting him...like telling your guy that he’s the best and grateful for what he brings to the table so to speak. And when things go south...with disagreements, finding your back to each other in a vulnerable way and with an understanding that raw sex can be fun too. As long as the heart is behind it all....always.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

JustTheWife said:


> I never said that it can't be! I just gave my opinion of what f'ing is to me. For me it's a very action oriented word - a penis pumping hard into an orifice. I don't see women f'ing men - maybe with a dildo LOL. Even if a woman is very dominant (I'm certainly NOT) I don't see that as her f'ing him but I can see how some might. Since I'm not dominant, I'm not really concerned with that. I don't think you can really F something without a penis or some substitute for a penis. That's just how i see it.


I was seeing a lot of it being said as the man "taking" the woman. I dont think it was only you. Personally, if the woman is the agressor, then even with PIV, I'd say that she was the one doing the f'ing.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> I was seeing a lot of it being said as the man "taking" the woman. I dont think it was only you. Personally, if the woman is the agressor, then even with PIV, I'd say that she was the one doing the f'ing.


Interesting how different people see it differently. Even if I wanted to be aggressive, I lack the equipment required to F. Maybe I could wrestle him into submission but then what?  

Some equipment is made to F and other equipment is made to "receive" or get f'd. That's just how I see it!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

JustTheWife said:


> Interesting how different people see it differently. Even if I wanted to be aggressive, I lack the equipment required to F.* Maybe I could wrestle him into submission but then what? *
> 
> Some equipment is made to F and other equipment is made to "receive" or get f'd. That's just how I see it!


Hardly!.. Tie his hands together about his head. Straddle him, tease him, then lower yourself on to his P and start riding him. The point is that you can ravish his body, if you choose.

If you feel you need to kick it up a notch, put your hands either around this throat (but don't constrict air flow or blood flow it is just a mental power move); or alternately with one hand grab his hair and put the other in the air like you are riding a wild stallion (if you opt for the latter yell Yea Haw, when he or you finish).

Good luck.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> If you feel you need to kick it up a notch, put your hands either around this throat (but don't constrict air flow or blood flow it is just a mental power move);


From experience, put the hands right under the jaw. You can exert a moderate amount of pressure without actually cutting off air. Demonstrate prior to doing it during sex though. It's not a good idea to catch them off guard with it.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Young at Heart said:


> Hardly!.. Tie his hands together about his head. Straddle him, tease him, then lower yourself on to his P and start riding him. The point is that you can ravish his body, if you choose.
> 
> If you feel you need to kick it up a notch, put your hands either around this throat (but don't constrict air flow or blood flow it is just a mental power move); or alternately with one hand grab his hair and put the other in the air like you are riding a wild stallion (if you opt for the latter yell Yea Haw, when he or you finish).
> 
> Good luck.


Thanks but I was just trying to illustrate my view that it's men that do the f'ing because they have the equipment tto do so. I'm not into being dominant at all and even if i wanted to be, that would not fly in my marriage. i could only imagine LOL.


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## desiresmore (Oct 15, 2013)

I guess the way I usually look at this is complicated. Let me explain...no its too much...let me sum up. 

In the sense of the act, I view f’ing as purely the act of penetrative sex with an implication of need, aggression, urgency or animalistic passion. Whereas love-making, I’ve always viewed as slower, still erotic but more sensual sex. Where it might include longer times of making out, body touching, teasing, anticipation, etc. Less of a raw animalistic thing and more of a slow more intimate kind of sex.


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