# "I'm Digesting!" (e.g. DECLINED)



## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

"I need time to digest!"

"For God's sake, woman! I just f!cked you last night!"

"I'd love to but I am too tired."

"NOW?? You missed your chance, I just choked the chicken. Bummer."

HD-ladies with LD men, what are the "Priceless" sayings you've heard on why your card is declined?

So far, "I'm digesting" is my favorite. I have a smart reply but it would get me banned (or cause mass vomiting, not sure which is worse...)


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

No one? Argh. I know from reading other threads I am not the only one who gets turned down. Maybe my DH has his own way with words and other fellas are more polite about it?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

No you aren't the only one but my ex never did it with words, it was more avoiding the whole situation.

How long will you put up with being spoken to like this?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Is he actually SERIOUS when he says these things??


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

He is jokingly serious. The No is serious, but the message is banter. 

For instance, my reply to the choking chicken is "keep it up and your goose is cooked!" Or, for the "last night" comment I might reply "a bleep a day keep old age away!" etc. 

I guess what got me interested in this was my sister told me her fella just used the "I'm digesting!" line on her. My DH has used that on me and I have been simultaneously incredulous and amused, like REALLY? Do guys get cramps like when they swim after dinner? 

Got me thinking what other ladies hear from their men.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Mr H prefers not to go to bed to *sleep *shortly after a meal but I have never heard of it being an excuse to not have sex.

Mr H would happily have sex just after eating, before eating or even half way through dinner.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

Holland said:


> Mr H prefers not to go to bed to *sleep *shortly after a meal but I have never heard of it being an excuse to not have sex.
> 
> Mr H would happily have sex just after eating, before eating or even half way through dinner.


*jealous*


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

I have body image issues and if any food is in my stomach I feel like a grotesque fat cow. I could totally see myself using digestion as an excuse because I'd be afraid feeling my fat stomach that cannot even be sucked in due to a meal would majorly turn him off. 

Yes, I have issues, I know. Probably should work on that before getting involved again...


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

Holland said:


> No you aren't the only one but my ex never did it with words, it was more avoiding the whole situation.
> 
> How long will you put up with being spoken to like this?


This stuff is said in a banter- we joke a lot between each other about everything, ourselves included. If he were being really disrespectful (like "no way, no how, you cow!" etc.) I would draw the line. We have our own kind of "safe words" for when one of us goes too far with the jokes.

I guess this hasn't gone on long enough between us for real resentment to kick in. I am OK with the joking, to a point. We've been married only 4 years, together 6, and I think it's only in the last year-ish or so that things in the bedroom have dramatically cooled down. We've other external stressors like changes in jobs- specifically changes in shifts for my DH, resulting in a big decrease in our time together. But, my experience with guys is that they tend to use s*x as a stress release, not a reason to avoid it!

So now I guess that leads me to another question for women in relationships with LD men- was their a gradual decrease? Did something happen and his libido disappear?


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

BFGuru said:


> I have body image issues and if any food is in my stomach I feel like a grotesque fat cow. I could totally see myself using digestion as an excuse because I'd be afraid feeling my fat stomach that cannot even be sucked in due to a meal would majorly turn him off.
> 
> Yes, I have issues, I know. Probably should work on that before getting involved again...


*hugs* Body issues are no fun.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

"I don't think I'll be focused on sexy time tonight baby.my belly has been feeling messed up all day."

"I took my migraine medicine earlier but it doesn't seem to be working.Sex always makes the migraine pound harder baby,I'm sorry."

"I really want to but I'm afraid I won't end or I'll go limp bc my mind will be focused on my (pick one: sore belly,aching back,migraine).You know I always want to make love cutie but I don't want to disappoint you if I don't end or if I can't stay hard."


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

We have to have sex prior to eating dinner.If we don't do it before eating we either won't do it at all or it won't be as good.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

RoseAglow said:


> "I need time to digest!"



With the increase in blood pressure immediately following a meal and the rerouting of blood flow to the digestive organs at the expense of other areas of the body, that is a legitimate excuse for some men. --Certainly not for the whole evening, but for possibly an hour or two after a meal. 

If worst came to worst and I had to choose between eating and sex, I'd pick sex.


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

So the migraine is the only thing pounding? *ducks*

Mine just rolls over and says "umnnnggh"


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

BFGuru said:


> I have body image issues and if any food is in my stomach I feel like a grotesque fat cow. I could totally see myself using digestion as an excuse because I'd be afraid feeling my fat stomach that cannot even be sucked in due to a meal would majorly turn him off.
> 
> Yes, I have issues, I know. Probably should work on that before getting involved again...


Me too! For me it isnt really "body issues" but I do feel fat and bloated after a full meal, so the idea of bouncing around is VERY unappealing, LOL! So its kind of like waiting an hour to swim!


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

What if you two have sex shortly after dinner and the H gets a cramp? Never underestimate the need for good digestion.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> "I don't think I'll be focused on sexy time tonight baby.my belly has been feeling messed up all day."
> 
> "I took my migraine medicine earlier but it doesn't seem to be working.Sex always makes the migraine pound harder baby,I'm sorry."
> 
> "I really want to but I'm afraid I won't end or I'll go limp bc my mind will be focused on my (pick one: sore belly,aching back,migraine).You know I always want to make love cutie but I don't want to disappoint you if I don't end or if I can't stay hard."


These are good reasons- I'd be OK with them if I heard these....as long as I didn't hear them every time I tried to initiate.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> What if you two have sex shortly after dinner and the H gets a cramp? Never underestimate the need for good digestion.


LOL! So we agree then, it is safe practice to wait an hour before the guys takes a dip in the pool..... 

Well, I feel a little more chipper about the Digestion thing anyway!


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