# Well here goes nothing...



## Shaho (Nov 27, 2011)

Been reading through these forums for a bit now and decided I should share and see if I can get some input. As of lately I have been considering to go see a MC whether or not she would like to join me. 

So we started dating back in Dec '06,had our wonderful daughter in April '08, got married Mar '10 and separated Sept this yr. We have had our issues along the way ranging from trust to financial to petty things. I was caught totally by surprise by this when it first happened but looking back on it I should have seen the signs. She told me she has been unhappy for about a year now and couldn't take it any more. We did run into some big financal problems and we moved in with her mother back in July and I dont know if that has contributed to anything. Her sister is also in the house and she is 14 and has some mental issues which cause the wife alot of stress.

I think most of the issues in the far past were resolved or forgivin so I wont go into those but if you all ask anything I wont hesitate to tell. I am kinda more interested in what I am able to do to work on our marriage and rebuild my family.

So after I was kicked out we talk for quite some time and she said we needed some space apart and wanted to work on our marriage. Well after 2 weeks she says she is at 50% for letting me comeback to her. Well then her Mom had a B-day party and her moms BF and fam came into town. Also a close family friend(Male) came with them and my W had recently became great feind with him aswell and says he is just like her brother. W went with her mom to visit those same people and came back and after 2 days from W and W's mom returning W kicked me out(got a lil side tracked).. Well back to moms bday weekend, the guests stayed at thier moms house with W there and I didn't take it so well out of jealousy. Well after that weekend I find out that W is on online dating websites and confront her. 

During that confontation she says she doesnt want to work on it anymore and quicky back tracks and says she didnt mean that. Well 3 days after that confrontation she goes out to hang out with a guy she sad she met on a site(said she got called into work) and has been talking with for quite awhile. She also later that calls me saying its over and doesnt want to work on our marriage anymore. Communincation is light for first couple of days and then its now her bday weekend.

We had a good time, went out had some fun and gave her a good bday. well the end of that weekend she was dropping me off and asked me if there was something wrong and this is a summary of what i said... I wont be treated like crap anymore, if she want to date then go ahead but i wont be a safety net for her and i dont want to lose her but if it come down to it i am capable of losing her. tell her that i think this not working on it this is bs and will only cause more divide.. So that obvisouly upset her and she drove off. well later that night she suprises me and comes back. she said that she is not sure what she want yet cause she been hurt in the past but she can see "Us" working.

Since that night we have hung out alot, spent quality time together, kissed, cuddled, and all that stuff that couples do together which has me all sorts of confused. She still is kind of shady, especially with her cell phone. But if i walk off she will chase me and ask whats wrong. She still hasnt said that she wants to work on it and I am not asking cause its her descision if she wants to or not. all i can do it work on our marriage and myself and take what comes my way.

So really does anyone have any advice on anything for me or some insight on stuff?


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Stop chasing her.

Seriously, she is being very wishy washy and teeters between wanting to be with you/not be with you.
You told her that you wouldn't take being treated like this, so mean what you say and don't take it. She's going to continue to do this as long as you allow it to happen.

I think seeing a C would be very beneficial to you, regardless or not if she agrees to go. You need to worry about the things that you can control-which is YOU.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jasmine79 (Jul 5, 2010)

She is making you an option while you have made her your priority. See a marriage counsellor ASAP and please stop chasing after her.


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## Shaho (Nov 27, 2011)

Ty for that advice, I know it'll be hard to stop chasing her but I know its something I need to do. I was chasing her hard in the beginning but it is much less now. But here is a lil update bout today. W was out with her mother for sometime today and when she came by to pick up our daughter she said for me to call her later so we can talk... Well about 3 hours passed and i figured id call her up to see what she wanted to talk about and she said that she souldnt really talk cause she is watching a movie with our kid but will call me back later so we can actually talk. trying not to let that get to me but it is but im not gonna start calling her non stop, im just gonna wait for her to. but any ideas what that means?


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Stop stop stop. 180. I have learned the hardway. You only give them the power and look bad for doing it. Stop.


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