# Wife’s new boost in confidence



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight which I did not care but she was very unhappy and borderline depressed. All this during the beginning of March. During the time she got laid of cause of this crazy virus but I made enough so it didn’t matter. She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

I think you can gently discuss the pictures that go a bit too far. Keep the conversation focused on how proud you are of her, but that you still want her all to yourself.

This reminds me of when my mom lost a bunch of weight and got her boobs done. She wore an all leather “ninja” costume for Halloween that year....I think it’s just a phase. We all laugh about it now but I am sure my Dad had to sit down with her about it.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Yankeefan said:


> I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight which I did not care but she was very unhappy and borderline depressed. All this during the beginning of March. During the time she got laid of cause of this crazy virus but I made enough so it didn’t matter. She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


So the real question is has your sex life gotten better? If so, congrats.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

People advertise for a reason.
You “won’t snoop on her phone because you don’t do that.”

Don’t be so naive. Women don’t put nude pictures of themselves on Facebook for other women to see.

She’s fishing. I suppose you’re gonna sit around until she nets a big one and then cry “woe is me, I trusted her”.

your attitude is that of a passive soon to be victim of infidelity.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> So the real question is has your sex life gotten better? If so, congrats.


Big time


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Evinrude58 said:


> People advertise for a reason.
> You “won’t snoop on her phone because you don’t do that.”
> 
> Don’t be so naive. Women don’t put nude pictures of themselves on Facebook for other women to see.
> ...


Or maybe she just wants to spice things up and the OP is getting lucky?


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

Evinrude58 said:


> People advertise for a reason.
> You “won’t snoop on her phone because you don’t do that.”
> 
> Don’t be so naive. Women don’t put nude pictures of themselves on Facebook for other women to see.
> ...


I respect every comment positive and negative.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

She should have discussed what you would be comfortable with her showing everyone before doing it.

She was wrong to do it without discussing what boundaries you two should have.

I personally don't care what Mrs. Conan wants to show as long as it isn't her birthday suit but that is our dynamic and she is naturally conservative in what she shows anyway.

You should have an adult conversation with her about how uncomfortable this is making you and also go over some of the things to watch out for while posting sexy pictures on social media, such as unwanted attention, getting hit on, possible stalkers, etc.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

moulinyx said:


> I think you can gently discuss the pictures that go a bit too far. Keep the conversation focused on how proud you are of her, but that you still want her all to yourself.
> 
> This reminds me of when my mom lost a bunch of weight and got her boobs done. She wore an all leather “ninja” costume for Halloween that year....I think it’s just a phase. We all laugh about it now but I am sure my Dad had to sit down with her about it.


She looks great in everything before and after. Though her breast did shrink. Not a deal breaker as I’m an ass man.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> She should have discussed what you would be comfortable with her showing everyone before doing it.
> 
> She was wrong to do it without discussing what boundaries you two should have.
> 
> ...


I support her creativity but I know what you’re saying thank you.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Just remember, these are out on the web -- do you want your CHILD seeing these?
There isn't any good reason for her to be showing those pics on FB EXCEPT she wants the accolades and attention from other men.
If YOU are ok with her pursuing other men leering at her, and you think this won't start playing out in real life (her flirting with guys when you go our or at parties...), it's up to you.
Obviously it DOES bother you or you wouldn't be here.

I would talk to her -- just ME, I don't think a Mom appearing in thongs and topless is appropriate (I CERTAINLY don't think married women should do it either), but maybe I'm just old fashioned.

I also think you should NOT stick your head in the sand about those private messages.... The red flags are there, ignore at your own peril.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> Just remember, these are out on the web -- do you want your CHILD seeing these?
> There isn't any good reason for her to be showing those pics on FB EXCEPT she wants the accolades and attention from other men.
> If YOU are ok with her pursuing other men leering at her, and you think this won't start playing out in real life (her flirting with guys when you go our or at parties...), it's up to you.
> Obviously it DOES bother you or you wouldn't be here.
> ...


Thank you for your feedback.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Your wife has her ass in the store window. Does she actually comprehend that when she puts her semi naked pictures on the Internet that they’re there forever?
Or does she care about your opinion.
Pretty she’ll be going out with “friends” and then you’ll realize what a weak man you are but by then it will be to late.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Yankeefan said:


> She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. *Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties*. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. *Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast.* It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. *But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men* and women based on the comment section but *I’m sure she is getting private messages* but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. *She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife* but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol.





> Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


My friend, what else does she have to do before you think you have reason to worry? She knows what a hotwife is and is just testing the waters with you. Bet.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Umm. I'm a female. I don't personally know any man who would be okay with their spouse posting pictures of themselves in PANTIES on social media. Further, I don't know any female who would think it even the slightest bit normal for one of their female friends to be doing so.

I think you have a *massive* problem on your hands that your wife thinks this is okay.


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

Andy1001 said:


> Your wife has her ass in the store window. Does she actually comprehend that when she puts her semi naked pictures on the Internet that they’re there forever?
> Or does she care about your opinion.
> Pretty she’ll be going out with “friends” and then you’ll realize what a weak man you are but by then it will be to late.


I don’t really agree with this statement. Just because someone posts a picture, that doesn’t mean they want to cheat. I posted plenty of bikini pictures with my friends when we were young and hot, but I never cheated. If she wants to cheat, she would regardless of pictures.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

moulinyx said:


> I don’t really agree with this statement. Just because someone posts a picture, that doesn’t mean they want to cheat. I posted plenty of bikini pictures with my friends when we were young and hot, but I never cheated. If she wants to cheat, she would regardless of pictures.


That was my impression as well


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> I don’t really agree with this statement. Just because someone posts a picture, that doesn’t mean they want to cheat. I posted plenty of bikini pictures with my friends when we were young and hot, but I never cheated. If she wants to cheat, she would regardless of pictures.


She’s not a teenager on spring break, she’s a thirty something who lost eighty pounds but still wants to show her ass off to strangers. 
Big difference I would think.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I see this as totally innappropriate. Is she posting this stuff on facebook? How is that in anyway ok? Goodness knows who will see it, and do all her friends and family really want to see these pics of her in her undearwear? She will attract attention which is what she is seeking of course, but it wont be the right sort of attention and if you have children, its even worse.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Umm. I'm a female. I don't personally know any man who would be okay with their spouse posting pictures of themselves in PANTIES on social media. Further, I don't know any female who would think it even the slightest bit normal for one of their female friends to be doing so.
> 
> I think you have a *massive* problem on your hands that your wife thinks this is okay.


Exactly.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> That was my impression as well


If you are so happy why are you asking for advice on a marriage forum?
You know in your gut that what she’s doing is wrong.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

moulinyx said:


> I don’t really agree with this statement. Just because someone posts a picture, that doesn’t mean they want to cheat. I posted plenty of bikini pictures with my friends when we were young and hot, but I never cheated. If she wants to cheat, she would regardless of pictures.


She's not posing in a bikini. She is in THONG panties and TOPLESS with her hand covering her boobs (or it wouldn't be allowed on FB).
That is NOT bikini pics.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I really think we ought to see the pictures before we pass judgment


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> If you are so happy why are you asking for advice on a marriage forum?
> You know in your gut that what she’s doing is wrong.


Thank you for your feedback. I joined here cause I wanted to know whether I was over reacting. I think of myself as a confident man. I do respect people’s opinion and I feel like some responses are said with malice due to bad experiences. I joined cause I wanted to get non bias opinions from both sexes.


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

jlg07 said:


> She's not posing in a bikini. She is in THONG panties and TOPLESS with her hand covering her boobs (or it wouldn't be allowed on FB).
> That is NOT bikini pics.


Did I ever say that is okay? That needs to be a discussion within the marriage. I am emphasizing that posting a picture doesn’t mean they will cheat. Everyone is so quick to slam the cheater button.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> Thank you for your feedback. I joined here cause I wanted to know whether I was over reacting. I think of myself as a confident man. I do respect people’s opinion and I feel like some responses are said with malice due to bad experiences. I joined cause I wanted to get non bias opinions from both sexes.


My response of saying that its completely wrong and innapproptiate certainly isnt said with malice or bad experiences, it was said because posting semi naked pictures to her friends, her friends friends and family is just weird and asking for trouble. I dont know a single person who would think that was in anyway normal, and you know yourself that its not ok or you wouldnt be here. I think you are afaid to say to her that its just not ok.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Isn't only wrong though if the OP thinks its wrong or if it does indeed lead to her cheating and\or divorce? What if she just like showing off her new found body and the attention? Maybe it will lead to spicing up their lives and he has already indicated their sex life has improved? He could be like some of the rest of us complaining their spouse is going the other way (less sex and less attentive)?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> Did I ever say that is okay? That needs to be a discussion within the marriage. I am emphasizing that posting a picture doesn’t mean they will cheat. Everyone is so quick to slam the cheater button.


I dont see this is about whether she may or may not cheat, but she is certainly seeking out male attention.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I gave you a measured response with myself and Mrs Conan in the mix as an example. I do believe communication is lacking between you two and needs to be improved.

My first impression about your situation isn't good though I'm afraid.

She isn't being creative. She is being an exhibition.

Posting on social media the way she is, has motive and will get responses. She feels good about herself, which is good after losing weight and getting in shape, but she is going an unhealthy and mine filled route to get the validation she is craving.

I could sell underwear or racy swimsuits, at least I'm in good enough shape for it, but just posting sexy pictures of myself on social media would have a questionable motive. See what I mean?

She should stop and you two could probably do with some talking about healthy boundaries and why she is seeking outside sexual validation.

A counselor could probably help you both get onto a healthier path for the future.

I think there could be some real trouble brewing.

She should definitely not be private messaging with men who are looking at her near nude body online unless she is a cam girl getting money that is.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Isn't only wrong though if the OP thinks its wrong or if it does indeed lead to her cheating and\or divorce? What if she just like showing off her new found body and the attention? Maybe it will lead to spicing up their lives and he has already indicated their sex life has improved? He could be like some of the rest of us complaining their spouse is going the other way (less sex and less attentive)?


Woud you be ok if man on your wifes facebook page frequently posted semi naked posing type pictures? Is that in anyway appropriate?


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> I dont see this is about whether she may or may not cheat, but she is certainly seeking out male attention.


Don't we all seek out attention from the opposite sex? Do you wear makeup? Does your husband wear cologne? Don't we all want to be noticed by others? Thats not a bad thing


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Woud you be ok if man on your wifes facebook page frequently posted semi naked posing type pictures? Is that in anyway appropriate?


Its only wrong or inappropriate if I or my wife think it is. My wife's friends share tons of firefighters posing with shirts off in the underwear holding puppies and make jokes about the pictures like "There is a puppy hidden somewhere in the photo". Is that offensive?


----------



## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Yankeefan said:


> Thank you for your feedback. * I joined here cause I wanted to know whether I was over reacting. * I think of myself as a confident man. I do respect people’s opinion and I feel like some responses are said with malice due to bad experiences. I joined cause I wanted to get non bias opinions from both sexes.


It's not whether you're over reacting; it's whether you reacted quickly enough. The pictures on the 'net tend to escalate; you start with something relatively innocuous, and progressively get more revealing. The biggest danger is that you can only reveal so much on-line; the "big" reveal may be in person. 

This should not have happened. At. All. Have there been other issues in the past that seemed ok but, looking back at them now, might seem a bit inappropriate? Things where, when you made your vows, you made assumptions about boundaries and privacy that turned out weren't assumptions on her part?

She appears to be in hormonal overdrive right now. Every guy's dream right? If it's under control, if it's understood what's right and what's wrong, and if it's the spouse on the receiving end. There might also be a tough line to walk here, assuming she hasn't already cheated. How do you channel and encourage this to your relationship's benefit, without seeming to give tacit approval to her need to market herself in general? Support but with limits? She has issues with limits. It sounds like you do as well, since things went quite a ways before you came here.

Get things figured out very, very quickly.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

If a woman in my office, for example, were doing this, everyone would be talking about her, not in a good way, and wondering if she were mentally okay (a lot of my co-workers are on social media). Is this were the wife of a man in my friend group, the other men would be scared for him and feeling sorry for him that he had a wife who was doing this.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

What is the purpose of your concern and your post? Are you afraid of her cheating or dumping you? Be honest because context matters. 

There is some calculus here. If she gained 80 lbs and has returned to her previous weight and level of attractiveness AND you have remained at your level of attractiveness and your market value and you two are now back to similar market values (assuming you were similar to begin with) then this is just a matter of her getting back in her stride and a matter of appropriate vs borderline inappropriate conduct on social media. 

However- if she is now actually more attractive and sexy than she was when you got together and you have now gained lots of weight and she is notably more attractive and of higher market value than you, then you do have cause for concern here. 

A quick google search of “post weight loss infidelity” or “post weight loss divorce” and you will see there can be reason for concern here. 

This is something that the people who have the weight loss surgeries often contend with. Frequently both are overweight when they get together initially and then when one loses 100+ lbs, that puts them in a higher league and it’s a risk for the other to get left behind.

80 lbs is a significant loss and good on her for taking charge of her health and vitality. 

But your level of risk here depends a lot on you and your market value. Are you two relatively equal in attractiveness now or is she significantly higher than you now?


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> What is the purpose of your concern and your post? Are you afraid of her cheating or dumping you? Be honest because context matters.
> 
> There is some calculus here. If she gained 80 lbs and has returned to her previous weight and level of attractiveness AND you have remained at your level of attractiveness and your market value and you two are now back to similar market values (assuming you were similar to begin with) then this is just a matter of her getting back in her stride and a matter of appropriate vs borderline inappropriate conduct on social media.
> 
> ...


I have always remained in shape and over all easy on the eyes (not my words) I’m not vain. She always looked beautiful to me. She’s in the best shape of her life. She started working again and takes care of our child. Nothing has changed between us in a sense.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> My friend, what else does she have to do before you think you have reason to worry? She knows what a hotwife is and is just testing the waters with you. Bet.


Wait...what does "hotwife" mean...is it more than just a wife who is hot...??


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Wait...what does "hotwife" mean...is it more than just a wife who is hot...??


A woman who has sex with other man with her partner’s permission.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Wait until she tries to get another job...


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Yankeefan said:


> A woman who has sex with other man with her partner’s permission.


Usually while he watches.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Its only wrong or inappropriate if I or my wife think it is. My wife's friends share tons of firefighters posing with shirts off in the underwear holding puppies and make jokes about the pictures like "There is a puppy hidden somewhere in the photo". Is that offensive?


Thankfully none of my facebook friends and family act that way.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Don't we all seek out attention from the opposite sex? Do you wear makeup? Does your husband wear cologne? Don't we all want to be noticed by others? Thats not a bad thing


No we honestly dont. I am only interested in my husband and have no interest in getting attention from other men. No I dont wear make up. He wears cologne occasionally but not to get attention from the opposte sex.
As a married women she shouldn't be trying to get this sort of attention from men. She isnt thinking at all of her husband, her children, her friends and family on facebook and what effect all this may be having. People who act this way just arent respected or thought well of and as someone has said it wont look good if she applies for jobs in the future.


----------



## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Thankfully none of my facebook friends and family act that way.


I think that for many of us, were we to see a picture of a scantily-clad woman come into our feed, without context that we understand (don't ask what THAT would be), we'd assume it was FB spam/scam, someone fishing for money in some way. It wouldn't occur to most of us that there could be an "innocent" explanation, someone's wife just wanting to show people how good she looked just because.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Wait until she tries to get another job...


Like what?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Yankeefan said:


> A woman who has sex with other man with her partner’s permission.


So open marriage...?

Listen, I think you asked this so you could hear the responses of everyone and judge for yourself whether they changed your gut feelings on this or not (which is great, I do that too alot) - I'm not really sure what your gut feelings are, I just think you are trying to hammer them out for yourself. You seem to be open-minded and trusting, and that's great as well!

So here's what I think -- what your wife is doing IS dangerous to your marriage. First of all, SHE is not YOU. Just because you think you see her doing this innocently does not mean she is doing it that way. It also doesn't mean that she has the same commitment to your marriage that you think she does. She COULD, sure...but YOUR perspective of how her mind is working with this may not be accurate. And you need to be aware of that.

Men always seem to underestimate this, but getting attention is almost addictive to women - it has the SAME power over us as VISUAL stimulation does for men. That's why women are willing to dress seductively and post seductive things for strangers to see -- women want to be LOOKED AT, and men want to LOOK.

So that's the line she is treading right now. After feeling fat, ugly, and unwanted (and useless, probably), she feels like she's GOT IT again - the ability to attract. And it's potent!!!

This could all be harmless fun! But it could also be the beginning of a downward slide into something negative for your relationship, and you won't even know it until it's too late, most likely. 
So keep the lines of communication open, and don't be afraid to set boundaries and speak up when you think something is crossing the line.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> Wait until she tries to get another job...


Like what?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> Usually while he watches.


😲
But isn't that "swinging"...??


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> Like what?


When you apply for jobs they check your social media accounts.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Casual Observer said:


> I think that for many of us, were we to see a picture of a scantily-clad woman come into our feed, without context that we understand (don't ask what THAT would be), we'd assume it was FB spam/scam, someone fishing for money in some way. It wouldn't occur to most of us that there could be an "innocent" explanation, someone's wife just wanting to show people how good she looked just because.


Yes but is it innocent. I have quite a few young people on my facebook in their 20's, neices and nephews etc and none of them post pictures as the OP describes, they wouldnt dream of ti even if they were single.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

LisaDiane said:


> 😲
> But isn't that "swinging"...??


Not really. Maybe a niche subset of the larger swinging lifestyle perhaps, but it’s pretty much it’s own thing. 

Very similar to cuckold but without the humiliation and imbalanced power factor.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

LisaDiane said:


> So open marriage...?
> 
> Listen, I think you asked this so you could hear the responses of everyone and judge for yourself whether they changed your gut feelings on this or not (which is great, I do that too alot) - I'm not really sure what your gut feelings are, I just think you are trying to hammer them out for yourself. You seem to be open-minded and trusting, and that's great as well!
> 
> ...


Whether its addictive or not, most women, married women especially, just dont act that way out of respect for themselves and respect for their husbands. I am married to one of the most easy going men ever but if I did this he would think I had flipped my lid completely and he would definitely want a serious talk, quite rightly. My respect for him and the rest of my family alone would stop me from doing this, even if I wanted to.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> 😲
> But isn't that "swinging"...??


Swinging is when there two couples


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> Not really. Maybe a niche subset of the larger swinging lifestyle perhaps, but it’s pretty much it’s own thing.
> 
> *Very similar to cuckold but without the humiliation and imbalanced power factor.*


Do I even dare ask...?? 

NO!!! Nevermind...I DON'T want to know!!!!


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

The only reason you post something like that is because you want male attention. You get to see her in real life, so it is not your male attention she craves by posting...

Be very careful with women who are validated by male attention.

It is naive not to check up on her.

I wonder what she would think if she caught you looking at another woman's photos dressed like that? Likely that it wasn't appropriate....


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Whether its addictive or not, most women, married women especially, just dont act that way out of respect for themselves and respect for their husbands. I am married to one of the most easy going men ever but if I did this he would think I had flipped my lid completely and he would definitely want a serious talk, quite rightly. My respect for him and the rest of my family alone would stop me from doing this, even if I wanted to.


I wasn't offering it as an excuse, but a warning. 

And I agree with you, but it seems for younger women, in the "look at ME" generation, it's more accepted and "natural".


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> No we honestly dont. I am only interested in my husband and have no interest in getting attention from other men. No I dont wear make up. He wears cologne occasionally but not to get attention from the opposte sex.
> As a married women she shouldn't be trying to get this sort of attention from men. She isnt thinking at all of her husband, her children, her friends and family on facebook and what effect all this may be having. People who act this way just arent respected or thought well of and as someone has said it wont look good if she applies for jobs in the future.


You don’t have to parade around in your undies to get attention from men.

She’s probably seeking attention from women just as much and kind of saying, “nannernannerbooboo! Look at me *****es!” 

Sometimes scorn from women is as powerful to the ego as lust from men.

And she’s likely getting a ton of, “ you go girl!” And “you look great!” Etc from women.

Frankly, whenever I see a grown woman/wife/mother post bikini or any kind of skin pictures, the praise and flattery and comments are easily 9:1 from women vs men.

In fact I rarely see men posting much on grown women’s skin pictures. 

Now how many of these dudes are PMing them and saying things privately, I don’t know.

But the vast vast majority of the positive and encouraging comments are from women.

She may be doing this more for female attention and reaction than male.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Yankeefan said:


> Like what?


If she wants any sort of professional job that behavior is frowned upon.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Hot wife =cuckold fetish


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

re16 said:


> The only reason you post something like that is because you want male attention. You get to see her in real life, so it is not your male attention she craves by posting...
> 
> Be very careful with women who are validated by male attention.
> 
> ...


I misquoted on my last post and I’m too lazy to correct it.

I meant to this post.

She’s likely doing this more for female attention, reaction and validation that male attention. 

Women probably gauge their attractiveness and market value more from female response than male.

Male attention is a slam dunk and a given.

Unbutton your top button on your shirt and you’ll have all the male attention you can handle. Their input has no value because their looks and comments are like sand in the desert. 

It’s how the other women react to you that gives you more useable information.

If the old, uptight church ladies are scowling and tongue-clicking, you’re probably on the right track.

If the fat and plain looking girls are bemoaning how they wished they looked like you and how they wish they could have your confidence etc, then it shows you aren’t one of them. 

And if the hot chicks and hard bodies are cheering you on and giving you superficial, “attagirls!” The you know you’re getting there. 

But when the hot chicks and bikini girls start scowling and getting catty - then you know you’ve made it to the big leagues.


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Are there any other red flags you've noticed or are these postings the extent of it?

Does she go out without you? Has she purchased any sexy underwear that she hasn't worn for you? Have you checked the phone bill to see what numbers are being called often?

What happens when you are at work? Etc....


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> I misquoted on my last post and I’m too lazy to correct it.
> 
> I meant to this post.
> 
> ...


I don't know, I would think a lot my wife's friends (who are in the attractive category) would be wondering why someone that is married would post that. Even if the guys aren't commenting, a woman knows they are seeing it.

But you might be right... could be female validation she is looking for....

Either way, I would say less than 1% of wives post nudes except for a thong photos on social media.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Girl_power said:


> Hot wife =cuckold fetish


Cuckold and hotwife are different in their terminology in how it’s practiced.

Cuckold as a practice often employs some form of humiliation and power imbalance between the woman and her bull vs the husband. Usually with the woman praising the endowment, virility and skill of the bull vs the weak and inept husband. The humiliation and insults are part of the husband’s fantasy and enjoyment. 

In hotwife, it’s simply a guy that likes to watch his wife being sexual with another man, usually without the humiliation and insult. 

In cuckold the wife and bull humiliate and put down the husband and the husband gets off on the humiliation.

In hotwife, the husband is kind of showing off the wife to the other man and saying, “see how how she is, she is all mine, nannernannerbooboo.”


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

OP first I think that many women who lose lots of weight post workout or bikini pics because they are proud of themselves and they want to show off. Second that fact that one set wasn't enough and that she is escalating it means the attention she sought is now important to her and she is seeking more of it. Influencers generally post things like this often. BECAUSE they know people come to see the hot pics not what they had for lunch. 

I think it isn't a great idea for these picture to be on the net if she ever intends to have professional career many professions do check social media and once it is out there it is out there. Second many women who lose weight and regain confidence do cheat on their partner. That applies usually to women who have lost 100+ pounds. Your wife is close to that number so there are some red flags flying around.

I don't think it is your job to police a grown ass woman. But it is your job to protect your relationship. You should have an honest to goodness conversation with her about how it make you feel and how it makes her feel. Why is she progressing in the skimpiness? Are these posts open to the public? Is she getting private messages? Is she responding. And the I would never go through her stuff, well that's crap. A good relationship doesn't really have secrets and there would be nothing to find. But since you are here and she is escalating the postings, I think you should look at that. And without warning. Either together as part of the larger conversation previously mentioned or before. Otherwise she may just delete them so you can't see them.

Most people find it an ego boost to be desired by others, she however is courting this and playing with fire. You should proceed with caution and you need to be comfortable with what she posts. I don't say that to say you have to accept nude photos being posted. I mean together you need to have a conversation and come to an understanding that both of you feel is best for your relationship. Bring the marriage back into focus.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

re16 said:


> I don't know, I would think a lot my wife's friends (who are in the attractive category) would be wondering why someone that is married would post that. Even if the guys aren't commenting, a woman knows they are seeing it.
> 
> But you might be right... could be female validation she is looking for....
> 
> Either way, I would say less than 1% of wives post nudes except for a thong photos on social media.


Women aren’t wondering why she’s posting - they know darn well. 

And yes, she knows men are drooling even if they don’t post, she knows how the world works. She has had males trying to get in her knickers since she was 15 and she knows how they think when they see a practically naked woman in sexy poses. 

But she also knows that even homely girls will get male attention and desire if she unbuttons her top button so that reaction doesn’t give her as much useful information as the reactions and responses from other females.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

re16 said:


> Are there any other red flags you've noticed or are these postings the extent of it?
> 
> Does she go out without you? Has she purchased any sexy underwear that she hasn't worn for you? Have you checked the phone bill to see what numbers are being called often?
> 
> What happens when you are at work? Etc....


No, nothing out of the ordinary. We still go out she’s not being secretive. She is buying new lingerie that she post but wears for me.


----------



## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Whether its addictive or not, most women, married women especially, just dont act that way out of respect for themselves and respect for their husbands. I am married to one of the most easy going men ever but if I did this he would think I had flipped my lid completely and he would definitely want a serious talk, quite rightly. My respect for him and the rest of my family alone would stop me from doing this, even if I wanted to.





LisaDiane said:


> I wasn't offering it as an excuse, but a warning.
> 
> And I agree with you, but it seems for younger women, in the "look at ME" generation, it's more accepted and "natural".


A Selfie competition? Sees what someone else posts and thinks they can do better. How do you top that other person's selfie? When heavier, that wasn't something you'd even think about. The new, slimmer her... she might almost see it as revenge. She's looking at heavier people now and thinking eww, glad that's not me anymore. Then thinking how people use to think of her. Now she can get even.

It's a really wrong road to go down, in so many ways.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

First of all, to be clear, a hotwife is the other half of a cuckold relationship - the man is the cuckold, the wife is the hotwife and the sex partner (often big and black) is the bull. I cannot believe with the amount of porn around that this is not common knowledge - it has nothing to do with swinging or an open marriage, both of which are separate and different things. A cuckold likes watching his hotwife with a bull or two and being humiliated yet strangely turned on and often being invited to demeaningly participate in the process (usually of "cleanup" -uggh!).

Whether your wife is doing this to attract attention & get compliments or she is fishing to eventuall cheat, either way you have a problem. Even if she is doing this "innocently" (which is not a word I would use normally to describe this behaviour), she will attract the wrong kind of attention which will spell trouble for you and your marriage. 

You need to have her find some other way of being validated.

And I agree that this is not some young girl (single or in a relationship) showing off in a bikini - topless, thong or even very revealing bikini are inappropriate to share with the world unless you both agree or its part of her profession AND you both do not mind if your kids come across it.

So OP - do you mind other men commenting to her (the dynamic of which could change very quickly) and do you mind your kids eventually seeing these pics? Sounds like it has done a number on her mind or there is another problem with her.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Yankeefan said:


> She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol.


Yeah, there is a difference in semantics between a hot wife and a hotwife. 

My wife who had been a very active swinger for the better part of 10 years would have no clue between the two.

She would think saying hot wife would mean a married woman who was very pretty and sexy.

She would have no concept of a hotwife.


----------



## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Hotwife or Cuckold, it makes no difference to me. My SO is all MINE! I'm not interested in sharing her with anyone, for any reason!

If my SO wants to be with another man, or woman, I will not stand in her way. She will be welcome to go with the other person, and take her personal belongings with her!

If my SO wants to put herself on public display scantly dressed or nude, for others to ogle, she can pack her belongings and get out too!

Now if she wants to do this ONLY FOR MY EYES, I'm all in, and she can unpack and stay.

JMHO.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Yankeefan said:


> ...she starting posting pics on social media in her panties ... Then they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast.


So, how is she going to keep getting attention when the half nudes are no longer enough? She has already escalated as far as social media will allow. So what next? And there will be a next level. Most likely she will start sending full nudes to other men in PM's. Then maybe videos. Then maybe calls. Then oops, Jimmy's **** just happened to fall inside her vagina. 



> Her phone is never locked but *I have never snooped cause I won’t do that ...* I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that *or maybe I don’t want to*.


Burying your head in the sand won't solve the problem. 



> so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


Really? Posting lingerie and half nudes on social media, being an attention *****, and "joking" about becoming a hotwife isn't enough to make you worried? Really? 

For the record, I'm in my mid-30's and not a single person on my social media or my wife's posts crap like this. Bikini shots if they were at the beach, sure, but half nudes or in their underwear? No. 

Your wife isn't hot, she's trashy. If you're into it, well, maybe she will get her hotwife wish afterall.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

What happens when she ages out?


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Openminded said:


> What happens when she ages out?


I was just thinking that!!


----------



## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

I am old and old-fashioned. Maybe your wife likes living on the edge--hope she does not fall off. You sound proud of her, so y'all and I have different ideas of integrity and moral compass. 

Would you be happy with your sister or daughter if they made similar posts? What would you think about your work colleagues?

Hope her self-esteem/confidence are based or more than just these pics. What do her parents think about them?


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Whew.....

OK....couple of things here....I wont touch that whole **** story or any other hypotheses...I will only comment on that which I have some experience...Mostly in helping people achieve weight loss and fitness goals,,,,I am not a pro or anything, just someone that people tend to reach out to because I have some knowledge in this area..

Sorry, but it would be truly rare for anyone(man or woman) to look spectacular right after that much of a weight loss...In clothes, sure, it would look dramatic...But the overwhelming majority of people(particularly women that lack the muscle mass of a man) will look "bikini ready" after that much of a weight loss...I get it....it's all relative...FFS, all that qualifies as "abs' or a "six pack" nowadays is merely just not having huge rolls of fat on the midsection...  

Now....as to why someone would do this...its a myriad of reasons...

Sure, there have been many a woman that have these "mommy makeovers" because they have one foot out the door and are prepping themselves for the next shlub...er...man...to carry the torch from the first guy...

Or maybe she is truly an attention seeking individual that needs this type of validation to get her off...There are plenty out there like that as well...And posting up a pic will just about guarantee she'll get it...It begins to feed on itself and creates a false sense of some value...

Here is the thing though....

If she truly was in it to better herself, *for herself*, then she would have zero interest in displaying that to the world...People that live this life(being fit and healthy) are only really in for themselves....At that point it doesn't matter what the hell anyone else thinks about it...Sure, a compliment is always nice, but its not about that...In fact, these types would find it absolutely abhorrent to do what she is doing...Its the height of "bush league" for people that are in it for themselves...Or course these comments don't apply to fitness bloggers and such...They have a specified purpose...Its different for them, lets stay on the topic of "regular folk"...as is apparently the case here...

So what then?? Well...I can tell you that there is likely a nearly 100% chance she falls off the wagon and gains all the weight back...For the reason that once the comments stop(and they will, its all new now) then she will likely have nothing to gain from it...the validation ends and its too difficult to maintain if the "you go girl" and "awesome" comments at every opportunity cease....Its incredibly hard as it is for someone that heavy to keep it off under any conditions, ...especially as she gets older...so my guess is that she'll revert back to her old self...Maybe she wont...Maybe she will just settle into the new life and be happy to have achieved her goals, but the facts presented surely dont indicate that will happen...

Is the OP over reacting?? Maybe.....For all the women out there that think its all the guys insecurity, let me see how they react if their SO was posting shirtless pics on social media with a jacked up, ripped up body....They will have a meltdown over it and absolutely demand they be taken down...So enough already...

If everything else is status quo, its worth watching for signs, but it doesn't necessarily mean she is up to no good(in terms of infidelity)...I dunno..Most people in committed relationships usually take into account how their SO will feel about something, even if it made them feel good...In those cases, they would not do it, so at the very least she is being inconsiderate of you ...I can't say its anything more, because I don't know, just some thoughts...


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

So I just read the hotwife comment.

I would personally find that disrespectful, after that we would be sitting down and getting some stuff straight. I would straight up tell her that **** is disrespectful to me, and I better never hear something like that again even in joking, not funny. I would be reminding her that she may be hot and lots of guys may want her, but that doesn't mean they would want to put up with her ****. She is free to hot wife herself out of the marriage and go be with someone else. I would probably ask to see her phone and see how she reacts. Then I would probably go out alone for the rest of the night, and be generally cold to her for the next morning until I get a sincere apology.

I would take that comment as a test.

Feeling good about being in shape is nice and all, thinking now that you are in shape you can trade up, go ahead and try but you'll have to get the **** out first.

I know I will get a lot of outrage about over reacting but I stand by what I say. When your wife tests you (and they all do it) better pass. I also know my wife would never even think of joking with me like that, nor I with her. 

Those boundaries are in place with a hard stop in my marriage. 

Or - My wife isn't stupid enough to make jokes about ****ing other me to me. (I mean WTF)

- and she will never feel comfortable enough to, nor will anyone else I will ever be with.

Yeah and my wife has told me more then once that she appreciates that I am like this because that is the same thing that will have me rip someones head off if I think they are not being good to her.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

re16 said:


> I don't know, I would think a lot my wife's friends (who are in the attractive category) would be wondering why someone that is married would post that. Even if the guys aren't commenting, a woman knows they are seeing it.


Husband and I don't have FB accounts but if we did, and a friend was coming up on our feeds posing in her undies, I'd be considering her motives and also wouldn't want my husband seeing how my friend looks in her underwear. Regardless of how well she has done with getting in shape. I would make a judgement (which wouldn't be positive) as to why she was needing to do this.

The fitness aspect has been raised, and I agree it is different if someone is blogging their journey towards a competition. Even then, it's typically 'costume swim-wear' and with the purpose to show definition and progress. Even if that is sexy to some, I don't view that in the same way. Posing almost naked because of renewed confidence? Eh, wouldn't sit right with the dynamic of our marriage regardless of gender.


----------



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So there are people that think a woman posting pictures of herself in a thing and no top on Facebook is even in the neighborhood of normal? And this is a married woman at that.
I personally think it’s ridiculous. Also, from my experience, the ONLY women I see posting fb pictures of themselves in bikinis are single women looking for men.
I can’t even think of a single exception.

My post on this thread was meant to give you a wake up call As to how odd your wife’s behavior is, and to try to urge you to get a handle on how dangerous this is. You seem oblivious to it, and almost act as if you think this is somehow normal. It’s not.

your wife is in my opinion at best (regarding your marriage) an exhibitionist, and at worst taking auditions for her next affair partner.

I actually wish I hadn’t posted, because what your wife is doing is so far outside the realm of normal, I have no business commenting since it is behavior I know little about. But it reeks of malicious intent. Anyone who is constantly posting selfies of themselves even in normal clothes that are clearly seductive in nature, I find to be pretty much untrustworthy. Thongs and bare breasts? Well that speaks for itself.

good luck OP. You’re gonna need it.


----------



## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

A married mother posting almost nude pics on FB is basically advertising herself. Posting a few pics in a bikini at a beach outing would be one thing but continually posting such racy pics is completely way out there and you should definitely be concerned. 

You believe she’s getting personal messages but haven’t checked? You need to check for other apps that she can share even racier pics or videos with various suitors. 

Having lost 80 lbs, she is enjoying the male gaze again. It’s like women who get a boob job and tummy tuck. Their SMV goes up significantly, and they see they can possibly trade up. Even if the husband is attractive, it doesn’t matter because he’s the same old thing. The women believes “he’s what I could get with my old body.” 

You better check personal messages. Don’t be surprised to find heavy flirty conversations. You will know if she crossed the line when the sex dries up. That means she has a new man and doesn’t want to betray him by having sex with you.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

OP, have you asked your wife why she is doing it? Maybe I've missed it.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

re16 said:


> I don't know, I would think a lot my wife's friends (who are in the attractive category) would be wondering why someone that is married would post that. Even if the guys aren't commenting, a woman knows they are seeing it.
> 
> But you might be right... could be female validation she is looking for....
> 
> Either way, I would say less than 1% of wives post nudes except for a thong photos on social media.


yet so many women fall into that 'oh you look great/sexy/beautiful' nonsense thus feeding the posters insecurities when people post photos that are clearly seeking attention. If no one did that they wouldnt post them. Its not benefitting someone who is wanting/needing that constant attention if others give it to them. 
The OP said that his wife has a 'new boost in confidence', to me it doesnt seem that way because if she felt that confident she wouldnt need to keep on posting semi naked pictires on her social media pages.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> Whew.....
> 
> OK....couple of things here....I wont touch that whole **** story or any other hypotheses...I will only comment on that which I have some experience...Mostly in helping people achieve weight loss and fitness goals,,,,I am not a pro or anything, just someone that people tend to reach out to because I have some knowledge in this area..
> 
> ...


I am only one women but I definately DONT think its anything to do with the guys insecurity. I would HOPE my husband would put his foot down if I were to EVER do something like this purely because its wrong, bad for the marriage and the children and completely selfish on her part. My husband is the most secure easy going man I know, but in marriage there must be boundaries as to how we act, and this is way over most peoples boundaries.
Trouble is that the more she does this the more she will crave the attention because her insecurities are being fed, and what happens when people get sick of seeing her semi naked pics and stop commenting or block her from their facebook page? I bet some have already. I would have when she first started it.
I think the op knows its not right, hense coming here, but is too scared to stand up to her and say so.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I think it's actually embarrassing. She's embarrassing herself, and you by extension with this.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Its only wrong or inappropriate if I or my wife think it is. My wife's friends share tons of firefighters posing with shirts off in the underwear holding puppies and make jokes about the pictures like "There is a puppy hidden somewhere in the photo". Is that offensive?


They're just lusting after the firefighters bodies and not paying attention to the puppy. Would it be offensive to you if you knew your wife was getting all hot and bothered looking at some other guy and riding you with her eyes closed fantasizing it was the firefighter she was riding?


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> 😲
> But isn't that "swinging"...??


Swinging is partner swapping between couples. Hot wife is basically a husband lending his wife to other guys because she likes sex and he either cant keep up or dont care she gets screwed by some other guy. But he is making the choice who she screws. It is not an open relationship per say.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely. 

I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too. 

I would never be on there in my underwear OMG! Still, I get flirty DMs from men every day. I let my husband reply to them. It’s quite entertaining....

So you can only imagine what men are saying to her in their private messages. You already know that though, and that’s why you don’t want to look.

I think your wife is being highly disrespectful to you, your marriage and even herself.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> They're just lusting after the firefighters bodies and not paying attention to the puppy. Would it be offensive to you if you knew your wife was getting all hot and bothered looking at some other guy and riding you with her eyes closed fantasizing it was the firefighter she was riding?


I don't care where she gets her appetite as long as she eats at home.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Question in my mind....if she will put this on FB something that shouls only be seen by your eyes. You know some guys have IM'ed her right? I wonder what other messaging apps she has on her phone that she may have sent them more explicit photos by. I would bet there are other photos out there.


FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't care where she gets her appetite as long as she eats at home.


But in her mind she is screwing other guy, not a small step to physical in my book.either case the Bible says you are committing adultry. If my wife was fantasizing about someone else she would not be my wife for long.

I know of 2 women who got hyper sexual after getting into SOG book. Had men picked out in their head as to what they think the guy looked like. You think they were not fantasizing about this vision they had while screwing their hubbys? I wanted to tell coworker he was just a live dildo she was using while screwing other guy in her mind. 

He did not care until she started fing their State Trooper friend on the side.

Other bi+ch, my sister, started a 2.5 yr affair on her husband. We used to be close....not any more. She cant have children and my kids used to be all when are we going to aunties house....now they know what she did they rarely mention her.


----------



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

The OP doesn’t seem to care So I don’t understand the point of this thread. Different strokes for different folks.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> I support her creativity but I know what you’re saying thank you.


LOL...that's what you're calling your wife's soft porn pictures?

"Creativity?"

Good lord.

I think the word you're looking for is "disrespect."


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I don't care where she gets her appetite as long as she eats at home.


My close friend use to say the same.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely.
> 
> I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too.
> 
> ...


I was thinking about this earlier and the word embarrasing came to my mind. Embarrassing for those on her facebook page, as well as for her husband and her children.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Girl_power said:


> The OP doesn’t seem to care So I don’t understand the point of this thread. Different strokes for different folks.


I think he does or why else post about it here to ask others opinions?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Is she getting inappropriate DM’s in her social media? Absolutely.
> 
> I’m in my 40s, normal looking and most of my social media posts have my gorgeous hubby in them too.
> 
> ...


Who are all these men on your facebook page who send these messages? Do you defriend them?


----------



## Impulse (Jun 10, 2020)

Yankeefan said:


> Thank you for your feedback. I joined here cause I wanted to know whether I was over reacting. I think of myself as a confident man. I do respect people’s opinion and I feel like some responses are said with malice due to bad experiences. I joined cause I wanted to get non bias opinions from both sexes.


.


----------



## Impulse (Jun 10, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Wait...what does "hotwife" mean...is it more than just a wife who is hot...??


Yeah. It’s a wife that has a temperature. My advice: take some advil. Keep checking oxygen levels at regular intervals.


----------



## Impulse (Jun 10, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> She isnt thinking at all of her husband,


What if her husband asked her to do this for him?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> Who are all these men on your facebook page who send these messages? Do you defriend them?


They might not be on her friends list and they probably don't keep pestering her once hubby replies to them.😊


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Impulse said:


> Maybe if you posted a couple of picture examples, you would get a more balanced opinion of how appropriate/inappropriate the photos may be?


Wouldn't be appropriate. Joking is ok which I hope you are doing.😉


----------



## Impulse (Jun 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Wouldn't be appropriate. Joking is ok which I hope you are doing.


Wouldn’t dream otherwise


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Yankeefan said:


> I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight ....... She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. *Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties*. ..... *Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast.* It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. * I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive.* Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. *She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife* but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


First of all, you might want to sit your 30 year old wife down and talk to her about the horrors of digital media. Images posted on the internet can be there forever. She and some of her photos could already be on porn sites. Some time in the future she might need to explain to grandchildren that yes that is a picture of grandma in her youth and that grandma does not think it is appropriate for any of her granddaughters to do anything like that.

You should also tell her (maybe look up in urban dictionary on the internet for her to see) what it means to say one is a "Hot Wife." And tell her (unless you are into such things) that when she says she is a Hot Wife, it is incredibly disrespectful to you, as you are not a cuckold.

You are not over-reacting. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are proud of her and how she has taken back her body. Maybe even go to marriage counseling or send her to individual counseling to figure out how she channel her new body pride and self confidence into more productive ways. Exploring her exhibitionist fantasies may be a dream for her, but as with most fantasies, they should be explored in private only with your spouse.

Good luck


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> What is the purpose of your concern and your post? Are you afraid of her cheating or dumping you? Be honest because context matters.
> 
> There is some calculus here. If she gained 80 lbs and has returned to her previous weight and level of attractiveness AND you have remained at your level of attractiveness and your market value and you two are now back to similar market values (assuming you were similar to begin with) then this is just a matter of her getting back in her stride and a matter of appropriate vs borderline inappropriate conduct on social media.
> 
> ...


I guess men can be pretty to each other. When my husband and I regularly went to meetups together, he said he would get this look from the guys who were checking "You're with her??"


----------



## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> yet so many women fall into that 'oh you look great/sexy/beautiful' nonsense thus feeding the posters insecurities when people post photos that are clearly seeking attention. If no one did that they wouldnt post them. Its not benefitting someone who is wanting/needing that constant attention if others give it to them.
> The OP said that his wife has a 'new boost in confidence', to me it doesnt seem that way because if she felt that confident she wouldnt need to keep on posting semi naked pictires on her social media pages.


The type of confidence you are describing is actual self-worth and self-respect. It doesn't have any relation to the attention getting selfie behavior.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

notmyrealname4 said:


> The type of confidence you are describing is actual self-worth and self-respect. It doesn't have any relation to the attention getting selfie behavior.


If a woman has self confidence she doesnt need this constant affirmation from other people.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

ironically, someone who just lost 80 pounds only needs to wear street clothes to be noticed as such. I've lost 30 pounds and people have noticed.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight which I did not care but she was very unhappy and borderline depressed. All this during the beginning of March. During the time she got laid of cause of this crazy virus but I made enough so it didn’t matter. She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


Don’t be so naive.


----------



## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

I don't see this as a step toward cheating, but I do see it as extreme attention-seeking behavior. I'm not on fb anymore, but I used to have an acquaintance who did pole dancing classes and would post pictures of herself doing all her sexy pole poses in skintight clothes. She was seemingly happily married but generally REALLY insecure and needed constant validation from everyone about everything. The whole thing (her obvious neediness and the posting of the sexy photos) made me super uncomfortable.
My point is, I don't assume that OP's wife is necessarily looking to cheat, but I _do_ assume she's looking for a ton of validation and attention from absolutely anyone willing to give it. That's a slippery slope. It's also not a mentally healthy place to be.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> I don’t really agree with this statement. Just because someone posts a picture, that doesn’t mean they want to cheat. I posted plenty of bikini pictures with my friends when we were young and hot, but I never cheated. If she wants to cheat, she would regardless of pictures.


This situation is completely different then yours. OP’s wife is fishing for the attention from others. It is also escalating from clothed to only a thong. She also has OP’s full support by him being passive. There are just to many stories where this has ended in cheating. I don’t believe most of them intentionally set out to cheat, it just happens when thing get carried away.

I also think OP would be ok if she did cheat by his reactions to post on this thread.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Chaotic said:


> I don't see this as a step toward cheating, but I do see it as extreme attention-seeking behavior. I'm not on fb anymore, but I used to have an acquaintance who did pole dancing classes and would post pictures of herself doing all her sexy pole poses in skintight clothes. She was seemingly happily married but generally REALLY insecure and needed constant validation from everyone about everything. The whole thing (her obvious neediness and the posting of the sexy photos) made me super uncomfortable.
> My point is, I don't assume that OP's wife is necessarily looking to cheat, but I _do_ assume she's looking for a ton of validation and attention from absolutely anyone willing to give it. That's a slippery slope. It's also not a mentally healthy place to be.


You just haven’t read the right threads on here.


----------



## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

ABHale said:


> You just haven’t read the right threads on here.


🤷‍♀️ We all see situations through the lens of our own experiences.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> ironically, someone who just lost 80 pounds only needs to wear street clothes to be noticed as such. I've lost 30 pounds and people have noticed.


I dont think that just being noticed would be enough for her.


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

ABHale said:


> This situation is completely different then yours. OP’s wife is fishing for the attention from others. It is also escalating from clothed to only a thong. She also has OP’s full support by him being passive. There are just to many stories where this has ended in cheating. I don’t believe most of them intentionally set out to cheat, it just happens when thing get carried away.
> 
> I also think OP would be ok if she did cheat by his reactions to post on this thread.


I totally agree a bikini has a different connotation from a bra and panty set, but the goal was the same. We felt hot and wanted the world to agree. My point is that this doesn't always indicate cheating and can be a transient moment. I also agree this is a pivotal moment within their marriage regarding infidelity.

I still stand by let her live within reason after such a huge accomplishment, but she should be aware of how she comes off on social media. This deserves a conversation but doesn't have to be a marriage-ending brawl. Weight loss is a big deal and has saved many marriages, so OP needs to be conscious about how he navigates this situation. His wife just wants to feel gratification and is probably struggling with her own self-image after feeling unattractive for so long. 

If this thread were from the wife's perspective, everyone on here would be saying "you go girl! Show off your hard work"!


----------



## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

Chaotic said:


> I don't see this as a step toward cheating, but I do see it as extreme attention-seeking behavior. I'm not on fb anymore, but I used to have an acquaintance who did pole dancing classes and would post pictures of herself doing all her sexy pole poses in skintight clothes. She was seemingly happily married but generally REALLY insecure and needed constant validation from everyone about everything. The whole thing (her obvious neediness and the posting of the sexy photos) made me super uncomfortable.
> My point is, I don't assume that OP's wife is necessarily looking to cheat, but I _do_ assume she's looking for a ton of validation and attention from absolutely anyone willing to give it. That's a slippery slope. It's also not a mentally healthy place to be.


I agree. Though we could be wrong, I do think OP's wife is wanting validation and to finally not feel like the "fat kid" in the world. This is something she will get past!

As I previously mentioned in a reply above, my mom did the same thing. Though it wasn't panty/bra pictures, she did start dressing in tighter clothes/lower necklines. I think this is a phase people deserve to get through after accomplishing something like this in their life.

This isn't a pass to have a PA or EA, but I strongly advise having a conversation to keep this moment joyus. I think she is a badass for losing 80 pounds and firmly believe she is having an "oh sh!t" moment now that she realizes she is considered "in shape". That is a big deal for someone who had a goal of getting fit!

Again, congrats to her and your marriage. I hope this results in lots of intimacy


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

moulinyx said:


> I totally agree a bikini has a different connotation from a bra and panty set, but the goal was the same. We felt hot and wanted the world to agree. My point is that this doesn't always indicate cheating and can be a transient moment. I also agree this is a pivotal moment within their marriage regarding infidelity.
> 
> I still stand by let her live within reason after such a huge accomplishment, but she should be aware of how she comes off on social media. This deserves a conversation but doesn't have to be a marriage-ending brawl. Weight loss is a big deal and has saved many marriages, so OP needs to be conscious about how he navigates this situation. His wife just wants to feel gratification and is probably struggling with her own self-image after feeling unattractive for so long.
> 
> If this thread were from the wife's perspective, everyone on here would be saying "you go girl! Show off your hard work"!


Going by what has been said here, I think many of us would be saying well done on the weight loss but posting semi naked photos of yourself in thongs on facebook is just innappropriate.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> They might not be on her friends list and they probably don't keep pestering her once hubby replies to them.😊


There are privacy settings that will stop people not on your friends list from being able to see anything.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Just as a side thought...do any of you support all the female celebrities\athletes, etc. that have been posting pics of themselves in bikinis, lingerie or even semi-nude and nude all over the place. Many of them are married. The Internet is ablaze with positive support for all of them for various reasons, (losing weight, reducing racial discrimination, reducing age bias, etc). Yahoo news and other sources pretty much have one every day.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> I guess men can be pretty to each other. When my husband and I regularly went to meetups together, he said he would get this look from the guys who were checking "You're with her??"


Pardon my saying that your husband was a jerk to tell you that.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Just as a side thought...do any of you support all the female celebrities\athletes, etc. that have been posting pics of themselves in bikinis, lingerie or even semi-nude and nude all over the place. Many of them are married. The Internet is ablaze with positive support for all of them for various reasons, (losing weight, reducing racial discrimination, reducing age bias, etc). Yahoo news and other sources pretty much have one every day.


As I see it it demeans them greatly. When people say its 'empowering' it makes me laugh. Its the total opposite of that.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> The OP doesn’t seem to care So I don’t understand* the point of this thread. *Different strokes for different folks.


Titillation.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Just as a side thought...do any of you support all the female celebrities\athletes, etc. that have been posting pics of themselves in bikinis, lingerie or even semi-nude and nude all over the place. Many of them are married. The Internet is ablaze with positive support for all of them for various reasons, (losing weight, reducing racial discrimination, reducing age bias, etc). Yahoo news and other sources pretty much have one every day.


No.


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Just as a side thought...do any of you support all the female celebrities\athletes, etc. that have been posting pics of themselves in bikinis, lingerie or even semi-nude and nude all over the place. Many of them are married. The Internet is ablaze with positive support for all of them for various reasons, (losing weight, reducing racial discrimination, reducing age bias, etc). Yahoo news and other sources pretty much have one every day.


All that is part of their "image" and marketing of their brand....I would think that type of stuff is considered part of the job/career...

Not remotely the same as what is being talked about in the thread....


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> All that is part of their "image" and marketing of their brand....I would think that type of stuff is considered part of the job/career...
> 
> Not remotely the same as what is being talked about in the thread....


I dont think its soemthing thy have to do, they didnt do it in the past till fairly recently.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

This is yet another thread that has become merely a discussion between members--OP is absent and there is no conversation going on with him.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

hamadryad said:


> All that is part of their "image" and marketing of their brand....I would think that type of stuff is considered part of the job/career...
> 
> Not remotely the same as what is being talked about in the thread....


Some of them are writers and other areas that it would not be considered part of their career and they have husbands as well so I do think its close to this thread. They all promote it as women taking steps to their own freedoms hence why I asked.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> I dont think its soemthing thy have to do, they didnt do it in the past till fairly recently.


Correct thats why I asked as it seems to be the new trend. Hence if THEY are doing it, why wouldn't others such as the OP's wife?


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Livvie said:


> This is yet another thread that has become merely a discussion between members--OP is absent and there is no conversation going on with him.


Don't a lot of the threads end up this way?


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Don't a lot of the threads end up this way?


This one was destined to end up the way it has.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Correct thats why I asked as it seems to be the new trend. Hence if THEY are doing it, why wouldn't others such as the OP's wife?


Well we dont have to follow what others do.


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I dont think its soemthing thy have to do, they didnt do it in the past till fairly recently.



A lot of things weren't done until fairly recently....In today's world, a Hollywood type or athlete lives and dies by their Twitter feeds, and other clickable stuff...It is a carefully orchestrated effort by PR people who's job it is to keep them relevant and in a position of desirability($$)...

So I am sure they would argue that it is in fact, " something they should do"...If they want to stay in the game, anyway...


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> A lot of things weren't done until fairly recently....In today's world, a Hollywood type or athlete lives and dies by their Twitter feeds, and other clickable stuff...It is a carefully orchestrated effort by PR people who's job it is to keep them relevant and in a position of desirability($$)...
> 
> So I am sure they would argue that it is in fact, " something they should do"...If they want to stay in the game, anyway...


It depends on what sort of attention they want, but for some its all about money. There are many famous people like sports stars who dont act that way.


----------



## Yankeefan (Nov 20, 2020)

ABHale said:


> You just haven’t read the right threads on here.
> [/QUOTE
> I res


I have read all the comments some I chose to ignore cause again I felt were said with animosity cause of bad experiences. I braved up and actually showed my wife this. She was very disturbed by some ppls castigation. I knew I was in some trouble for showing what I had done. She cried that I didn’t just tell her but she was not mad. She handed me her phone still no password required and told me to check for any recently added “dating apps”. To also check her Instagram and fb messages. Their were tons of private messages which non were opened. After awhile she just ignored them and gave up on deleting them and just left them alone. We have the same phone account told me to check for any repeated numbers that I didn’t recognize. The more I did the more stupid I felt. There will always be two opposing sides. One with it’s not fine but there’s no harm being done and then the other side who still believe we live in the early 1900’s where a woman would have been branded with the Scarlet A. I’m still glad I did this because there were actually some good ppl with good advice and actually chatted with me without it leading to burning the witch at the stake.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yankeefan said:


> I have read all the comments some I chose to ignore cause again I felt were said with animosity cause of bad experiences. I braved up and actually showed my wife this. She was very disturbed by some ppls castigation. I knew I was in some trouble for showing what I had done. She cried that I didn’t just tell her but she was not mad. She handed me her phone still no password required and told me to check for any recently added “dating apps”. To also check her Instagram and fb messages. Their were tons of private messages which non were opened. After awhile she just ignored them and gave up on deleting them and just left them alone. We have the same phone account told me to check for any repeated numbers that I didn’t recognize. The more I did the more stupid I felt. There will always be two opposing sides. One with it’s not fine but there’s no harm being done and then the other side who still believe we live in the early 1900’s where a woman would have been branded with the Scarlet A. I’m still glad I did this because there were actually some good ppl with good advice and actually chatted with me without it leading to burning the witch at the stake.


LoL!

I definitely didn't suggest cheating was occuring but I definitely stand by my first two posts.

You're suffering from chronological snobbery if you think it's normal for today but 1900 was a more chaste time.

You can take it or leave it because my marriage is my business and yours is yours.

I have never been burned or hurt by anything remotely close to what you are experiencing but I am very studied.

She should examine herself about the lengths she is going on social media for validation.

She could get productive and start a fitness sight while not posting obviously sexual photos.

She will still be impressive in tights and maybe she could inspire others to get in shape as well?

Wearing a thong while holding her naked breasts is certainly promoting a sexual response.

Unless she is selling lingerie or underwear, she probably shouldn't be sharing those with everyone either.

Peace.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Yankeefan said:


> I have read all the comments some I chose to ignore cause again I felt were said with animosity cause of bad experiences. I braved up and actually showed my wife this. She was very disturbed by some ppls castigation. I knew I was in some trouble for showing what I had done. She cried that I didn’t just tell her but she was not mad. She handed me her phone still no password required and told me to check for any recently added “dating apps”. To also check her Instagram and fb messages. Their were tons of private messages which non were opened. After awhile she just ignored them and gave up on deleting them and just left them alone. We have the same phone account told me to check for any repeated numbers that I didn’t recognize. The more I did the more stupid I felt. There will always be two opposing sides. One with it’s not fine but there’s no harm being done and then the other side who still believe we live in the early 1900’s where a woman would have been branded with the Scarlet A. I’m still glad I did this because there were actually some good ppl with good advice and actually chatted with me without it leading to burning the witch at the stake.


To each his own.

I could not resist commenting on one part of what you wrote, though 

To equate the opinion that it's uncouth for a married woman to post pictures of herself in HER UNDERWEAR on social media for all to see to a 1900s mentality is utterly ridiculous.

Weight loss or not-- it IS uncouth. 

It's good you and your wife are of the same opinion that it's something good. You are well matched.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> I have read all the comments some I chose to ignore cause again I felt were said with animosity cause of bad experiences. I braved up and actually showed my wife this. She was very disturbed by some ppls castigation. I knew I was in some trouble for showing what I had done. She cried that I didn’t just tell her but she was not mad. She handed me her phone still no password required and told me to check for any recently added “dating apps”. To also check her Instagram and fb messages. Their were tons of private messages which non were opened. After awhile she just ignored them and gave up on deleting them and just left them alone. We have the same phone account told me to check for any repeated numbers that I didn’t recognize. The more I did the more stupid I felt. There will always be two opposing sides. One with it’s not fine but there’s no harm being done and then the other side who still believe we live in the early 1900’s where a woman would have been branded with the Scarlet A. I’m still glad I did this because there were actually some good ppl with good advice and actually chatted with me without it leading to burning the witch at the stake.


Its nothing to do with the 1900's verses today that something isnt appropriate.
Many of us never suggested that it would lead to an affair, but we did say that it is just inappropriate. Especially for a married woman with children.
Wrong for the marriage, the children, the husband, her friends and family on facebook and also herself. You yourself clearly thought it wasnt right or you wouldnt have come here asking if you were over reacting. You werent. 
I cant imagine ever disrespecting my husband or my friends and family in that way.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> Pardon my saying that your husband was a jerk to tell you that.


I took that as she ment to say they(men) are petty to each other, as in guy was saying how did you get her....he was dissing on the hubby as not up to grade, not being critical of her looks just the opposite. Guys were checking out his wife.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> I dont think that just being noticed would be enough for her.


I agree and exactly my point - OP has a problem brewing on his hands.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

When you showed her this thread, what did your wife have to say this is not something wives (as in a committed marital relationship) do.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Forget even being married. Does a quality woman, period, post pictures of herself on social media in her underwear????


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

it could be a number of things.
Maybe she is just so proud of losing 80 lbs (gosh, i wish i could do that), you did not go nutz with the praise, so she sought it out somewhere else.
That just means you need to stroke her ego, start reving up the sex life, and maybe that is all she needs.

on the other hand, maybe she has written you off as the boring part of her past life she is trying to forget, and she is actively looking for a lover to take her to new heights.

what TYPE of "social media" sites? Facebook? or Tinder/Ashley Madison?

do a little snooping around.


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Don't worry....

Give it a year (or probably less) and the 80 lbs(+??) will be right back where it was...Go look at the stats of the percentage of people that manage to keep that weight off...Its a very small percentage and most of them are guys...

When you aren't doing it for yourself, but rather to seek validation/approval from others then its doomed for failure...

You will get the old chubby wife you loved back...just be patient


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LoL! Man some of these posts are harsh!


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> I have read all the comments some I chose to ignore cause again I felt were said with animosity cause of bad experiences. I braved up and actually showed my wife this. She was very disturbed by some ppls castigation. I knew I was in some trouble for showing what I had done. She cried that I didn’t just tell her but she was not mad. She handed me her phone still no password required and told me to check for any recently added “dating apps”. To also check her Instagram and fb messages. Their were tons of private messages which non were opened. After awhile she just ignored them and gave up on deleting them and just left them alone. We have the same phone account told me to check for any repeated numbers that I didn’t recognize. The more I did the more stupid I felt. There will always be two opposing sides. One with it’s not fine but there’s no harm being done and then the other side who still believe we live in the early 1900’s where a woman would have been branded with the Scarlet A. I’m still glad I did this because there were actually some good ppl with good advice and actually chatted with me without it leading to burning the witch at the stake.


I really am glad that the two of you talked it out. Glad this hasn’t lead to anything that could hurt the relationship. Going forward the two of you need to be one the same page, nothing hidden.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> I took that as she ment to say they(men) are petty to each other, as in guy was saying how did you get her....he was dissing on the hubby as not up to grade, not being critical of her looks just the opposite. Guys were checking out his wife.


What a difference a single letter can make - pretty or petty.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

This is really not to do with being proud of losing 80lbs - she was posing semi nude! On Facebook! WTF?


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Losing 80 lbs in 4 months is quite a feat and is in fact quite unbelievable.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> What a difference a single letter can make - pretty or petty.


Yeah, in my neck of the woods a guy calling another pretty is not a compliment to the other man either.


----------



## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Yankeefan said:


> I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight which I did not care but she was very unhappy and borderline depressed. All this during the beginning of March. During the time she got laid of cause of this crazy virus but I made enough so it didn’t matter. She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.


Sorry, posting thong and covering breasts on social media is disrespectful to you. I assure you your W knows what "hot wife" is. Don't kid yourself.


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> Yeah, in my neck of the woods a guy calling another pretty is not a compliment to the other man either.


I dunno, I would rather be called pretty than petty. Maybe its because I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright!


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Just as a side thought...do any of you support all the female celebrities\athletes, etc. that have been posting pics of themselves in bikinis, lingerie or even semi-nude and nude all over the place. Many of them are married. The Internet is ablaze with positive support for all of them for various reasons, (losing weight, reducing racial discrimination, reducing age bias, etc). Yahoo news and other sources pretty much have one every day.


So I've always thought how much it sucks that women who have AMAZING talents (great singers, etc.) feel the need to jump around a stage near nude, and do nude pics, ESPECIALLY if they are married, but also just in general.
Why is their talent not enough? Why do they have to be hypersexualized to boot?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

jlg07 said:


> So I've always thought how much it sucks that women who have AMAZING talents (great singers, etc.) feel the need to jump around a stage near nude, and do nude pics, ESPECIALLY if they are married, but also just in general.
> Why is their talent not enough? Why do they have to be hypersexualized to boot?


Exactly.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

jlg07 said:


> So I've always thought how much it sucks that women who have AMAZING talents (great singers, etc.) feel the need to jump around a stage near nude, and do nude pics, ESPECIALLY if they are married, but also just in general.
> Why is their talent not enough? Why do they have to be hypersexualized to boot?


$$$$$$$$$


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> $$$$$$$$$


Yeah, like that is everything. There are lots of great acts that DON'T hypersexualize themselves and still make plenty of $$$.
Shame they give up their self-respect to earn it.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

jlg07 said:


> Yeah, like that is everything. There are lots of great acts that DON'T hypersexualize themselves and still make plenty of $$$.
> Shame the give up their self-respect to earn it.


I think its the same reason why you see sooooo many women doing porn. I mean without getting paid to do it, how many women would really allow themselves to be filmed doing some of what you see online?


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

She better get to cheating quick before her mouth starts watering for bread and rice again !!!

Let’s gets real.... if she lost 80lbs in 4 months then she looks like a deflated balloon. Hell her imprint on the couch cushion is probably even still there.


----------



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Yankeefan said:


> I’m new to this site so forgive me if I’m not quite doing it right. My wife and I are in our 30’s and after we had our first baby she gained a lot of weight which I did not care but she was very unhappy and borderline depressed. All this during the beginning of March. During the time she got laid of cause of this crazy virus but I made enough so it didn’t matter. She started eating better and working out non-stop which I supported. Fast forward to July. She lost a whopping 80lbs and was as happy as could be. She started dressing very “confident “ which again I supported. Then she starting posting pics on social media in her panties. First time I saw it I was a bit thrown back. In reality I should’ve said something but who was I to her no, after all she had been down for awhile and was a terrific mom and wife. Than they got a bit more graphic where she would only be wearing thongs and covering her breast. It was a turn on but so did every guy who saw it. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she’s never felt so confident before and thanked me for being supportive. Her phone is never locked but I have never snooped cause I won’t do that. But I know she gets a lot of comments from both men and women based on the comment section but I’m sure she is getting private messages but I can’t prove that or maybe I don’t want to. She kids around that she is becoming a hotwife but truthfully I don’t think she really gets what it means lol. Maybe I’m just overreacting cause so far she hasn’t done anything to make me worried.



HI dude,
get on the health bandwagon, look good, smell good, update your wardrobe, get a James bond style that fits your persona as a good person, embrace it. embrace your masculinity and embrace your wife'S femininity.-then show it. Pay more attention to her. PUT A STOP TO YOUR WIFES BEHAVIOR-FORBID IT-IF SHE DONT STOP, SAY YOU AND BABY GO TO YOURM MOMS HOUSE. PUT A LEASH ON HER SOCIAl media USE ; MEDIA-BE SURE YOU STOP YOPUR OWN PORN WATHCHInG -GO COLD TURKEY, BECOME RED PILL AWARE. she is getting ready to monkey jump and sending out feelers. Get your finances order to protect yourself BECAUSE YOU Are most likely next year if she jumps to another man you willl be a victim by a butt pirate.- You come fist always-you job is not to lose it in order to be the man, make bank protect things, protect yourself that you don't fall victim to man shaming, being accused of toxic masculinity etc. its in this order , God. yourself[ and your mainframe comes first always, wife family third. Women don't have the bonding hormone that makes makes a man stick around for their family whne they get sex ans respect and love from their woman. We stay for that reason. womens' nature is to jump at the first alpha that comes sniffing around, even at age 70. Alpha bucks like a mule betas pays for others mans kids or rarely gets to buck when married- and walked over in marriage. FORBID WHAT SHE IS DOING, HER ROLE IS DO THAT STUFF FOR YOU, DEMAND IT SO AND HOLD HER ACCOUNTABlE;. WHAT SHES IS DOING IS A FORM OF INFIDELITY. SEEK A DR. GOTTMAN QUALIFIED MARRIAGE THERAPIST, ANY OTHE WILL RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE. DON'T TAKE ALL OR AMY OF OUR ADVICE, SEEK A PROFESSISONAL not us. opinions are plentiful as holes.


----------



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

on you and your wife read up on dr. john Gottman marriage books and you tube videos by Easther perrell. Start with mating in captivity and erortism in marriage, You can't go wrong with easther perell shis is relationshsip marriage expert.


----------



## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> She’s not a teenager on spring break, she’s a thirty something who lost eighty pounds but still wants to show her ass off to strangers.
> Big difference I would think.


WTF SHE SHOUKDNT DO IT PERIOD, IF SHE DOES IT, SHOULD BE FOR HER HUSBAND IN THE FORM OF BOUDROI ART GET GET PICTURES PROFESSIOALLY MADE OR LET HER HUSBAND TAKE THE PICTURES


----------

