# Going through D, and consequent nookie withdrawl



## justwow (May 31, 2011)

So I am just barely starting to go through a divorce. She cheated, and doesn't plan on stopping. Still talking to the (most recent) OM.

Anyway, my issue atm is sex. It is damn hard to go from regular sex to no sex. I am sure that everyone who goes through a divorce has to deal with this, but how? DIY helps, but it ain't the same. I know I could get it from the stbxw, but that would be an absolute [email protected] move, no? I could also look elsewhere since the marriage is over and she is continuing to plan for where to get laid after we separate, but that doesn't sound smart either. Any suggestions? I have heard that D in california takes at least six months, which seems like a long time. I could also just do nothing and deal with it, like everyone else on the face of the planet who isn't in a relationship. It's just a shock to my system I guess, as my sex drive seemed positively wicked at the moment. I am sure this post sounds weird or crass, possibly like I am thinking with my johnson, which is entirely possible. This is just a new feeling for me. Suggestions or advice are welcome.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I dunno. Your stbxw seems to put out for others, she might as well break you off a little, too. It's legal and she apparently doesn't mind. Use double protection.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Well, first you take your right hand ....


Either that or lots of cold showers and thinking about the most unnattractve woman you can imagine sitting on a toilet and straining.

Seriously though, isn't it a good idea focusing on what led up to the demise of this relationship, so that nookies one day return permanently?


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My sister continued to have sex with her X while they were divorcing. Neither seemed to mind.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> Im going through withdraw from sex right now bc I just can't bring myself to sleep with H. It is killing me. No vibrator in the world is a suitable substitute for a hot man between my thighs. *sigh* what's a girl to do?? It wont do any good to have sex with some guy I happen to pick up at a bar and besides that, I don't want it unless it is with my husband and I don't even want it with him after what he did.
> 
> Lol boy did that open the floodgates for me! Sorry to hijack. I don't know what to tell ya dear!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Did someone just turn up the thermostat? Why am I sweating?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

WhiteRabbit said:


> Yeah try being me...went from being satisfied anytime I wanted to zip! Im in constant need of a cold shower. I can't imagine going through this as a guy,it's tough enough as a female.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We are at the same juncture.

I will say that "knowing" what I "know" about her makes her less attractive. Not sure that will work for you.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

It is totally normal. It’s like your body says “Oh shoot! What am I going to do now!” LOL!!!! Even if sex wasn’t that great towards the end of your marriage, a lot of individuals still go through that emotional withdraw kind of early on.


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## Indy Nial (Sep 26, 2010)

I've been struggling with this since September! Maybe we should just arrange a special party with car keys 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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