# Fitness test questions



## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

Sorry I know this comes up a lot,my wife has a problem with jealousy.
But I think she uses it more as a test,this morning for instance she was going out but there was an interview with an attractive female singer coming on the TV.
She glared at me ,snatched the remote and hit record so she could watch it later.I called her pathetic.
Not sure how I should respond.
Its usually an attractive woman comes on telly and she glares at me..Any ideas how to deal with this..

Also do teenage daughters give there fathers fitness test,as she tries to put me down a lot lately


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

If your wife puts you down and gets away with it, then she is role modeling behavior that your daughter will likely duplicate.

What is your relationship like? Emotionally, sexually? Do you stare at other women? Do you find your wife attractive? Does she find you attractive?

Context matters.


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

My wife does not really put me down,more fitness test as jealousy.At every oppurtunity she accuses me of fancying other women.
I used to always be looking at Women but do it very rarely now (older and wiser).I try and say they are interested in me if she accuses me of fancying other women.
Emotionally I am probably hard for her to connect with.
I would say she finds me attractive no shortage of sex


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I wouldn't stand for it. Keep a better grip on the remote control, if she complains remind her that "she's" the one who is being insecure (how threatening is a celebrity on TV really to your marriage?)


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

I would echo Deej's sentiments/questions.

A bit of healthy jealousy is good for a relationship. One has to know they have something to lose if they don't behave.

Off the cuff, I'd look up with a sly grin and say, "Her beautiful body reminds me of yours dear."





Deejo said:


> If your wife puts you down and gets away with it, then she is role modeling behavior that your daughter will likely duplicate.
> 
> What is your relationship like? Emotionally, sexually? Do you stare at other women? Do you find your wife attractive? Does she find you attractive?
> 
> Context matters.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Conrad said:


> I would echo Deej's sentiments/questions.
> 
> A bit of healthy jealousy is good for a relationship. One has to know they have something to lose if they don't behave.
> 
> Off the cuff, I'd look up with a sly grin and say, "Her beautiful body reminds me of yours dear."


If she then asks:
"Do you want a slap, you muppet?" is this also a fitness test?:rofl:


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Sawney Beane said:


> If she then asks:
> "Do you want a slap, you muppet?" is this also a fitness test?:rofl:


"Only if you want a spanking"


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

LFC said:


> Sorry I know this comes up a lot,my wife has a problem with jealousy.


Probably more accurate to realize, she has a problem with insecurity.



> But I think she uses it more as a test,this morning for instance she was going out but there was an interview with an attractive female singer coming on the TV.
> She glared at me ,snatched the remote and hit record so she could watch it later.I called her pathetic.
> Not sure how I should respond.
> Its usually an attractive woman comes on telly and she glares at me..Any ideas how to deal with this..


It is a perfect fitness test.

Things like this, to be glared at as if you responisible for beautiful women in media, is of course absurd.

THe more absurd or irrational the scenario, the more certain the man can be it is a mere fitness test.

So have fun with it!

Be sure to not fall into some trap to defend yourself (there is no defense possible). 

Instead, laugh, use humor, really go over the top.

Say with a wink an a smile "Don't worry about me hooking up with (name of attractive female singer), I've already made plans with (name of even more attractive female singer) and she's a very jealous type." 

Again, the more absurd or over the top irrational, the more fun is able to be had.

Fitness tests, have fun with them!



> Also do teenage daughters give there fathers fitness test,as she tries to put me down a lot lately


Absolutely.

Respond to them appropriately as well (humorous, calm, full to the brim of male ego and self confidence, but obviously without all the sexual overtones as with your wife) again NEVER take them literally.

My own daughter, very much a mother's girl since she was a toddler, fired up fitness test full bore as well when she hit puberty.

She found out quickly, her father is not easily knocked off balance or made upset or even unnerved by biting remarks or cracks. I had fun with her tests as well.

She is now a young teenager, is very much as much "daddy's girl" now as much as anything, and has the respect and trust in me to confide very often about what goes on in her life, deeply private and personal things I am sure she would otherwise hold back if there was not the respect and trust present between us.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Conrad said:


> "Only if you want a spanking"


Luckily Mrs Beane and I are past interacting on this infantile level, since she could (in the words of my old platoon sergeant) "break of your arm and beat you with the soggy end".


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

BigBadWolf said:


> Probably more accurate to realize, she has a problem with insecurity.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Thanks yeah she is insecure growing up without a Father did not help with her with this..

Thanks for the ideal responses I can deal with them sometimes then other times fail miserabely.
Especially if we have had a drink together (when I'm at my most relaxed) she can throw some nasty tests at me then


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Actually I take my original comment back and side with BBW - have fun with it!


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

LFC said:


> Thanks yeah she is insecure growing up without a Father did not help with her with this..
> 
> Thanks for the ideal responses I can deal with them sometimes then other times fail miserabely.
> Especially if we have had a drink together (when I'm at my most relaxed) she can throw some nasty tests at me then


I've found to be on high alert for them when alcohol is being served.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Lon said:


> Actually I take my original comment back and side with BBW - have fun with it!


Good man.

Keeping a better grip on the remote merely escalates the conflict.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Good man.
> 
> Keeping a better grip on the remote merely escalates the conflict.


yeah, I was thinking too logically. It's kinda ludicrous to be tested on something so ridiculous, so a ludicrous and ridiculous response is obviously in order - hopefully would escalate to playfighting with the wife and then a good romp in the sack.

In my next relationship that will be my challenge: turn every fitness test into the opportunity for hot sex.


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## Fido (Feb 9, 2011)

Lon said:


> In my next relationship that will be my challenge: turn every fitness test into the opportunity for hot sex.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

That's what I'm doing on a regular basis. Now my girlfriends sister is fitness testing me :smthumbup: (she's unhappy in her marriage since he's a total beta guy). Which leads me to a post I should probably run here, how to teach a distant family member to go here and read Athol Kay's blog too. Even my girlfriend asked me to get the guy on board.

Sorry for the off topic.


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## Hubby01 (Jul 5, 2011)

As a guy I think fitness test's are on of the biggest challenges we face. Many times I think I (and most other guys) want to jump to our own defense when tested, or at the very least try and justify what were doing.

The unfortunate truth is both of these actions only dig a bigger hole.

It can be an extraordinarily tough road to plow but you NEED to pass these tests or they will continue indefinitely. I reckon you need to pass probably 20 or 30 tests IN A ROW to make a genuine impact, there's no point passing a few and then failing a few, consistency is going to be the key.

Humor works extremely well at diffusing these tests but in the short term it will also amplify the situation so be on your toes and remember there is a greater good behind it.


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## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

I get the idea of fitness tests. But would it not be so simple as to say, "honey, she might be pretty but she doesn't hold a torch to your hot bod, you got the whole package" or something similar? Maybe followed by a cheeky slap to the ass or move in for a kiss?

I know as a woman that my H is always eyeing up pretty ladies and is terrible at hiding it, and although the OP says he doesn't do it so much anymore, for some women (including myself) it is a real kick to your self-confidence--. I see about it being her insecurity but there is a reason for that yes? Why not diffuse it whilst reinforcing she is the one for you?


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

I'm not sure of the type of tests a teenage daughter would give,we are going through a phase of arguing a lot.
She may state something that she is going to do and I take an interest and say why don't you do it like this.
Then she will respon with an answer like why do you always have to give your opinion.
And my response will be bacause I'm your father.
Maybe I should let her find her own way more....

Another one is she calls me annoying, not sure if this is just teenage stuff or she is testing how I will respond
Totally cluelss here women are confusing enough but teenage daughters have me baffled 
How do Daughters test there Fathers and how to deal with them .
So BBW if you read this could you give some advice.


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## Hubby01 (Jul 5, 2011)

walkingwounded said:


> I get the idea of fitness tests. But would it not be so simple as to say, "honey, she might be pretty but she doesn't hold a torch to your hot bod, you got the whole package" or something similar? Maybe followed by a cheeky slap to the ass or move in for a kiss?


Yes, with a but........

You need to remember the most intense testing goes on in already strained relationships. I know that if I offered a response anything like that to my wife I've immediately lost ground. 
1. Hot bod....he must want sex
2. Cheeky slap.....he must want sex
3. Kiss......not today buddy, you must want sex

My response when she starts recording it......

"thanks Babe, I'll enjoy watching that after you head off to bed tonight, you're the best" with appropriate cheeky smile.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

LFC said:


> I'm not sure of the type of tests a teenage daughter would give,we are going through a phase of arguing a lot.
> She may state something that she is going to do and I take an interest and say why don't you do it like this.
> Then she will respon with an answer like why do you always have to give your opinion.
> And my response will be bacause I'm your father.
> ...


Again, not like the fitness test to excite attraction, but the VERY SAME fitness test to probe for strength, confidence, respect that a young lady will do to men.

Be full of yourself, do not let your daughter's approval or disapproval of you for some action or decision on your part seem to sway you in the least. 

Laugh and use humor often, be sure not to be appearing to have to work much or put any effort at all to be simply full of yourself, over the top confident, and sharing your opinions. 

Of course, there is a time to be stern if her actions are over the top disrespectful, or especially if she is putting herself in harm's way somehow. Do not be afraid to take away priveleges, or remind her how much of her life is thanks to your hard work and bread winning. But this should be the exception, not the rule. Your own confidence and attitude should rule the day.

Never apologize or back down merely to seek her approval or appeasement. Just as in ANY relationship with a woman, when the man does this, any respect for him swirls down the drain!

Be amused at her shenanigans, as if you are already convinced she is just being silly or mired in youthful folly not to see the incredible man that her father is. 

If she calls you annoying, then respond with a laugh and smile "Yes, I am VERY annoying, and could be even more annoying if I set my mind to it". And then merely carry on with the conversation.

If she says you always have an opinion, then respond with a laugh and smile "Yes, I always have an opinion and it's typically a dog gone good one." And then merely carry on with the conversation.

See the theme here?

BEhave as if her fitness tests are amusement to you. But you are really communicating you are proud, confident, and happy to be the man you are, and proud, confident, and happy to be the father to your daughter.

Even to respond to her teenage daughter negatives in this way, communicates to your daughter that you are way strong enough to deal with these little fitness tests, you are way strong enough to be the father she needs, and you are way strong enough for her to make her own mistakes and learn about life. 

This is powerful antidote for many of the insecurities that often plague young girls at this age. (This is opposed to so many "feel good" efforts to "build up a girls self esteem" by simply caving into her whims. All that folly does is create a disrespectful young woman with an overgrown sense of entitlement and a stunted ability to foresee and anticipate consequences to her own actions and decisions. Do not spoil teenage girls!)

Be proud to be her father, be confident that you have raised a daughter that has bright potential for the future, that is at the core of what the teenage daughter wants to see from her father's ACTIONS and BEHAVIORS.

As a father, it is your responsibility and privelege to give her the shining example of a good man, a good man that she can trust and who inspires in her, her own confidence and strength.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Sometimes a jealous wife can be an unfaithful wife.


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

Thanks BBW I need to engrain this in me.


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