# Constructive Criticism



## Colell (Jun 27, 2011)

Alright, this is a question for the ladies. When your man literally asks you what he can improve on in the bedroom, do any of you (and I know some do) ever just auto-respond that everything is fine even though you would like to see him change things up a little bit? If so, why?

If we're asking for some constructive criticism, you're not going to hurt our feelings when you give it to us. We're trying to be good husbands and look out for your needs. Why not be honest and let us know what you really think?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My husband has asked me once...about oral sex on me. I told him how I like it and it's been good since.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

Like I wrote in the other thread before I edited it, 
My wife very rarely criticizes anything that I do..shes usually happy with how things are evern though I know we are not good..

She doesnt take constructive criticism well at all..and it usually backfires..
Just spent three+ weeks without sex, never complained about it once..neither did she but I could tell she was getting desperate..because I didnt initiate...its very rare for her to ever initiate so when I dont do it then she thinks I dont love her or something..when I have told her many times how important it is for me that she show affection towards me as well..
I do that in the most constructive way I can..but it always ends up with her feeling like shes not good enough for me..

A married couple needs to be ready to take criticism from each other..in fact we should expect it..I WANT my wife to criticise me..I want her to ask for things, especially in the bedroom.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, I don't think it's really criticism. I wouldn't be rude to my husband about our sex life. I would just tell him what I need more or less of....without making him think he stinks in bed.


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## Colell (Jun 27, 2011)

Isn't that the point of constructive criticism? Letting the other person know where he/she can improve in a respecting, loving way. I agree with that_girl, being rude won't get you anywhere. But when a husband asks for a little criticism, why not let him know? He's not going to change unless she says something.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I wouldn't touch that question with a ten foot pole. To me that's the equivalent to women asking their husband's whether they look fat or not. My husband thinks he's the best lover ever and I plan on keeping it that way. I have no problem asking for things but I'm real careful as to how and when I do it. It wouldn't be when he's just asked me how to improve. My truthful answer in that moment is that I'm very satisfied and that I think he's amazing. 

Oh and fwiw in the 20 years we've been married he's NEVER EVER asked this question. I also don't ask him if I look fat either.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lol! I have never told my husband anything about sex because he is very good. Our first time shocked the hell out of me!

However, when he would perform oral sex on me...omg...it HURT hahahaa...I had to say something.


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## piqued (Mar 25, 2010)

men typically have tough exteriors and fragile egos. But, most men would welcome instruction. If he's doing something you like, say so..."oh honey, right there, that feels so good". If you'd like him to change something, say so..."ohhhh, slow down a little sweetie" or "baby that's good, just a little higher..."

I don't know of any guy that will resent/reject those verbal cues. Guys all want to think of themselves as great lovers, so, if you tell them they are while you're instructing them then they'll be happy to adjust.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am more critical (and desire MORE than my husband does), thankfully he handles it well . 

I have had accual arguments with my husband cause I WANT him to ask me more questions in the bedroom, give me more suggestions. (some of our fights are truly silly). Example, touching me a certain way, then touching me another way and asking what feels better. I see that as exploring the others body & showing your sexual mind is working to please, this makes for a GREAT Lover. Since I do this and ask him, I can see why he doesn't need to give ME any suggestions. But he doesn't do this for me, and I am left telling him what I want sometimes, he is just a very quiet lover. 

Always telling your spouse what you may want & desire is nice. Yeah, we should do it (and hopefully they will do more than just listen- and NOT be offended). ---- But it will never be as EXCITING as them coming on to you - with a great willingness to learn & explore , asking what you want to bring you to the mountain tops, showing great enthusiam to please. 

I think every Lover should be taught to ask more questions - so less offending would be taking place. So long as we put into practice all of thier suggestions- since we asked !


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## nada (Aug 20, 2011)

Colell said:


> Alright, this is a question for the ladies. When your man literally asks you what he can improve on in the bedroom, do any of you (and I know some do) ever just auto-respond that everything is fine even though you would like to see him change things up a little bit? If so, why?
> 
> If we're asking for some constructive criticism, you're not going to hurt our feelings when you give it to us. We're trying to be good husbands and look out for your needs. Why not be honest and let us know what you really think?




Men are different as you can see from the posts . Apparently your husband want feedback in order to be a better lover for you. Why not trust him when he ask for feedback? Just one word of caution - dont feed him negative feedback immediately after sex. That feels like he is beeing evaluated for an exam. Try giving feedback one hour later or the day after.

If we don't get feedback, how can we improve?

Nada


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