# My parents Hate my Husband and It kills me



## jillianalexis00 (May 31, 2012)

Hi
I been married for over three years and been with my husband for total of 5years. My family hates him which i can understand but it still kills me. I know I can prob do better but I love him. He has a record, mostly driving on a suspended liense which he needed to get to work, so we didnt know what else to do. He got caught with pot before, and was on probation for some time. And there is another minor charge on his record. My dad looked at his record and try to force me to leave him almost. He was very pissed that i wasn't. And over the weekend, my husband walking from his jobsite to his car, he got robbed. There was three men and a knife and a guy. He got his wallet stolen and it there was $500. We are bad at money and always fight about it. I been borrowing a great deal from my mom and now I asked her for some cash because of my car insurance due. She just kind of blame it on my husband, like it was his fault for carrying that cash on him and how he is suppose to take care of me.

Well my dad cheats on my mom, and she doesn't even care or acts like it bothers her. He has both his g/f and my mom at the same location. That bothers me..alot. And i told him, and he doesnt seem to care. He told my mom when she was upset one day, to call her g/f because she deals with people with problems and emotions. What the hell, right?

If anyone is in the same boat as me, want to suppose one another? I feel so alone in this and it kills me more than anything/


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jillianalexis00 said:


> Hi
> I been married for over three years and been with my husband for total of 5years. My family hates him which i can understand but it still kills me. I know I can prob do better but I love him. He has a record, mostly driving on a suspended liense which he needed to get to work, so we didnt know what else to do. He got caught with pot before, and was on probation for some time. And there is another minor charge on his record.


How old are you and your husband?

Do you have children?

So your husband makes bad choices on a regular basis. That’s on him.



jillianalexis00 said:


> My dad looked at his record and try to force me to leave him almost. He was very pissed that i wasn't.


Good for your father for trying to do what was right. I’m sure he’s heartbroken that you married the kind of person you did.



jillianalexis00 said:


> And over the weekend, my husband walking from his jobsite to his car, he got robbed. There was three men and a knife and a guy. He got his wallet stolen and it there was $500.


I’m sorry but I do not believe this. Yes I know that some time people are robbed. But this happened on the very day that your husband had $500 in his pocket. And look at it… not one guy… THREE guys. Not one weapon but a gun and a knife. With your husband’s record I’d pretty much assume that he blew it on drugs or he owed someone drug money and they collected.

Did your husband file a police report for the assault and robbery?



jillianalexis00 said:


> We are bad at money and always fight about it. I been borrowing a great deal from my mom and now I asked her for some cash because of my car insurance due. She just kind of blame it on my husband, like it was his fault for carrying that cash on him and how he is suppose to take care of me.


It sounds like you and your husband have very little money. So what was he doing walking around with $500 in his pocket? And if he had that much why was it in his wallet? Here’s a lesson, never, ever carry large sums of cash in a wallet. I have a small change purse for this. I put it in my bra. If someone wants my wallet they won’t get much. 

Your mother is right, you and your husband think that you are adult enough to be married? Well you are adult enough to support yourselves. Are you working? If not, why not? It is grossly unfair for you and your husband to burden your mother this way. 

If you are borrowing money from your mom at this rate, you need to turn your finances over to her. Let her pay your bills and give the two of you some spending money. 



jillianalexis00 said:


> Well my dad cheats on my mom, and she doesn't even care or acts like it bothers her. He has both his g/f and my mom at the same location. That bothers me..alot. And i told him, and he doesnt seem to care. He told my mom when she was upset one day, to call her g/f because she deals with people with problems and emotions. What the hell, right?


Your father’s despicable behavior does not excuse what you are doing. I hope that your mom can get strong enough to leave him very soon.

I feel for your mom… her husband disrespects her and you are using her as your personal piggy back. Does anyone actually care for this poor woman?


jillianalexis00 said:


> If anyone is in the same boat as me, want to suppose one another? I feel so alone in this and it kills me more than anything/


The kind of support you will get here is from people who will help you find a way to handle your own issues and support yourself. If you can accept that kind of support then welcome here and stick around.

So what are you doing to get to a point where you can contribute financially ?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Sounds to me like your dad just hates looking in the mirror. His behavior is horrible and yet he judges others?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

If your mother keeps bailing your out or you keep accepting it, then I guess you are going to have to take her negative feelings toward your husband.

If you weren't dependent upon your mother, you could set some clear boundaries on what you are willing to accept regarding your husband. In fact,that would be the right thing to do for your husband. 

Your father isn't a role model but this is between your parents.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

When you become an adult and get married you and your husband are responsible for your needs not your parents.
Running to mum and dad when the going gets touch is not the actions of a mature person.
If you don't have the money go without or get another job.
If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to support yourself.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I have a friend whose mother always bails her out financially.

This friend became pregnant with no money and her mother just bought a house for my friend, so that her grandson will not be homeless.

My friend complains that her mother lectures her. I told my friend that until she becomes financially independent, her mother can say whatever she wants. I have no respect for so called "adults" who constantly need handouts from their parents. 

Your husband sounds like he has some growing up to do. What made you decide to marry an ex con? I can understand one minor scrape with the law, but constantly getting in trouble screams immaturity. My husband had a DUI when he was in university. It scared him straight the way it should have.


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