# i dont want to leave...



## Justbychance (Jan 12, 2010)

... but maybe i have to......okay first off let me start by saying ive never posted on any board about this. Okay here i go. I love my husband very much he is one year older then i am. We grew up very different... I was poor he was rich.... hes an only child i have many brothers and sisters... my father wasn't in the picture and his parents was always together.... He is better educated then i am.... he grew up city me country well you get the point. We are very different.... I grew up knowing the value of a dollar... Where as he blows through money and that's why right now we live in his fathers house and im so tired of it.

Many of times i have threatened to leave him in hopes he would change his ways. Hes was a spoiled kid and well being married we cant always have what we want. When his mom died in 2008 he kinda got upset no one in his family even bothers to say how are you after your mom died? I know he is depressed but he acts like he don't care and if i bring it up then its an argument says he isn't depressed... Then why cant you hold a job? He wants what he had growing up when life was easy and you wanted it you said it and it appeared. Hes had a few short term jobs since his moms death and that's it but nothing that will help us get back up on our feet so we can move out of here.

I have the temperament of well if you want it you have to work for it and get up and make goals in order to get to it. He is like well either it will come to him or oh well who cares....

He was suspended from college because of his grades and he just stopped going... (semester before we met) that was in 2003 . I know its because he lost interest... he only choose the degree he wanted at the time because his parents was against it.... he talks about wanting to go back to college finish his degree he has 3 years down... but he never does anything about it... Ive tried helping him but he doesn't want help... he doesn't care... you can lead the horse to water but you cant make him drink.... 

I know i've talked a lot about him and everything isnt his fault... Im hot headed every once in a while i will throw something like my cell phone or the remote at the wall out of frustration... I don't know how to make him hear me....im tired of this ... Im tired of living in his fathers house... im tired of him not working.... i'm tired of my life as this... We are low on money because of the job so its not like i can just pick up and go.... i don't want our kids to grow up in a broken home like i did... but i fear that there may be no other option till we are gone for him to look at his life and say WOW now what can he do to fix it... he says he doesn't want me to leave he loves me im all he has.... im all he has ever wanted... and that he has fulfilled his only dream to be with the love of his life....thats it? really? how about own a home? explore the world? anything? REALLY ANYTHING? I love him but don't know where to go with this. He has no hobbies... im his only friend... hes not controlling or anything like that he pretty much lets me 
do what ever i want he just wont get up and do anything for him self... he has taken depression meds along time ago but it did nothing but make every thing worse the doc would not change his meds said every thing would level out and in the long run he stopped taking them....He cant talk about anything like that with his dad because his dad will just call him stupid and a woman for being "depressed" men don't get depressed man up he had a son not a daughter.... 

My husband says every thing other wise then his me every other part of his life sucks and he hates it.... Ok? So get up and do something about it lets work on it lets make our life better... Yeah i want to he says but like i said he never does anything to make anything better!

Even though i feel stupid about posting this i feel better non the less


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## Just_Venting (Jan 12, 2010)

You guys have some issues that you need to work out. (Who Doesn't)

The first thing that YOU can fix is your rage when you get mad. It does not do anything but break things and scare the children if they hear/see it.

You need to remember that you can't "fix" him or make him do what he does not want to do. All you can do is express what your desires are and if he does not want the same things (and work toward them) with you then you have to make a life decision for yourself and your children.

I would focus on making yourself happy first along with the children.

Sit him down and as him (nicely) if he wants the children to be proud of him or see him be lazy. 

I won't say more unless you reply.

Best wishes.


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