# Wife wants to “spice” things up in the bedroom?!?!



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Hi all,

We’ve been married for 10 years. Our sex was good the first 4–5 years and then slowed some. Covid really slowed it down more with us being around each other all the time. As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not. I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up. She has her toys and I even bought some but some nights I think she would bang the UPS driver or even the vacuum.

I work a decent amount and drained when I get home. Should I watch porn with her, dump more money into toys or get a prosthesis dìck that’s always ready when she wants it?

thanks for reading, I’m at my wits end.

D


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up.


How much are we talking here?


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.


So two times a month you’re saying no? How often is she trying to initiate?


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> So two times a month you’re saying no? How often is she trying to initiate?


No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.


Hmm… You’re physically healthy? Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Fatigue can definitely also influence libido.

FWIW I am nearly 50 and every other day for me would be limping along in neutral. I’d prefer once or twice a day.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hmm… You’re physically healthy? Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Fatigue can definitely also influence libido.
> 
> FWIW I am nearly 50 and every other day for me would be limping along in neutral. I’d prefer once or twice a day.


You’re 50 and can do it once or twice a day? Holy cow!

I’m in decent shape, over the past two years I gained 15 pounds but not chubby. I haven’t been to my my primary dr. for years.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> I’m in decent shape, over the past two years I gained 15 pounds but not chubby. I haven’t been to my my primary dr. for years.


I hadn’t either when I was your age but you’re at the point in your life where it’s worth going in for a physical every year. I’d mention this to your doctor that you might be worried you have low libido and ask to have your testosterone checked.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> I hadn’t either when I was your age but you’re at the point in your life where it’s worth going in for a physical every year. I’d mention this to your doctor that you might be worried you have low libido and ask to have your testosterone checked.


Ok, thanks for the idea.

at 50 do you do testosterone replacement?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> Ok, thanks for the idea.
> 
> at 50 do you do testosterone replacement?


I do not, but there are several men on the forum who are on it and one was around your age when he started.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

You need to ask HER what she wants. Does she want more toys, mutual masturbation, just oral? Etc. Just because you're not up for intercourse doesn't mean you can't help her out in other ways. 

Like said above you should also get a physical (and mental) health check. This will also show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation. If you used to have a higher drive, figure out what happened - whether that's something medical, something in the home, stress, etc.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

DerDrkD said:


> Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.


Some people are low drive, some are high drive, and we don't all even agree on the frequency needed to be high drive or low drive. It's worth getting checked out though, especially if your drive used to be higher.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

bobert said:


> You need to ask HER what she wants. Does she want more toys, mutual masturbation, just oral? Etc. Just because you're not up for intercourse doesn't mean you can't help her out in other ways.
> 
> Like said above you should also get a physical (and mental) health check. This will also show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation. If you used to have a higher drive, figure out what happened - whether that's something medical, something in the home, stress, etc.


I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest. 

Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways. 

I appreciate your insight.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I see something rising tall on your horizon.
And, it will be an interloper.

A vacuum will always seek that filling.
Some new and willing man will fill that void.

You will likely lose your wife, to something seemingly small, yet looming large in your wife's mind.
This is no small matter, she is but 35 years old, and needy.

What is your age? 
No more than 40, I presume?

You claim your phallus is not 'up' to the _every other day_ job.
Get that check up.

Get that testosterone checked. 
ED is a common malady, even in the young.

Don't play with your wiener too much (porn).
This conditions your mind and body to that specific act and physical response.

Many medications, alcohol, tobacco, and pot makes ED worse.
Fatigue is real, cut back on your work hours

Take a small cat nap, recover, and ravage her.
ED is a real issue with men, with our modern diets, lack of exercise, medications and the inebriants men consume.

Our arteries and small vessels plug up quickly.
This adds greatly to the problem.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest.
> 
> Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways.
> 
> I appreciate your insight.


I think enthusiasm on your part, even if you're not up for piv, would do a lot. She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.

We sometimes use sex as a way to reclaim a spouse.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

@SunCMars brings up a good point. If your equipment isn’t working right that is a different issue.

There are solutions to that as well ranging from medication to physical solutions (silicon rings).


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

bobert said:


> Some people are low drive, some are high drive, and we don't all even agree on the frequency needed to be high drive or low drive. It's worth getting checked out though, especially if your drive used to be higher.


So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.

The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> I think enthusiasm on your part, even if you're not up for piv, would do a lot. She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.
> 
> We sometimes use sex as a way to reclaim a spouse.


Sorry to ask what does PIV mean?


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

SunCMars said:


> I see something rising tall on your horizon.
> And, it will be an interloper.
> 
> A vacuum will always seek that filling.
> ...


Wow thanks for your insight and your post.
Wait, yes I’m 39 years old. I barely drink, don’t smoke or use weed.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> Sorry to ask what does PIV mean?


Penis in vagina sex.
You have other options, even if you don't feel like getting it up. If you enthusiastically use your other options it might leave her more satisfied.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

jonty30 said:


> Penis in vagina sex.
> You have other options, even if you don't feel like getting it up. If you enthusiastically use your other options it might leave her more satisfied.


Thx. I guess I’ll need to go into the bag of tricks.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

DerDrkD said:


> So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.
> 
> The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.


Taking anabolic steroids for a long time can shrink your testicles.

The testicles produce most of a man's testosterone, followed by the adrenals (which are also made adverse by steroid use).

Some T is produced (or influenced by the pituary) deep in the brain.

When you stopped taking those body building steroids, your energy dropped and your testosterone levels never (naturally) recovered.

And they may never.

Now you know.

Go to an internal medicine Physician.
Tell him your symptoms and your past steroid use.
He will do the necessary blood work.

He/she will fix you up.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

fwiw Reading this post here I have never had Covid or got the shot and don’t have ED. 








ED from COVID


https://www.yahoo.com/news/covid-lead-impotence-120216364.html Not sure what to make of this? Fact? Fiction? Fear? Full of it? Make up your own mind but I just thought it might be interesting to share.




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.
> 
> The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.


Get your levels checked but I would encourage you to find a doctor that specializes in testosterone therapy. Most general practitioners and urologists are behind the curve on treating low testosterone.


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## TurnedTurtle (May 15, 2019)

jonty30 said:


> She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.





bobert said:


> show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation


@DerDrkD, don't over look these two statements -- taking all the steps recommended is good, but be sure to let her know what you are doing (and even involve her), and be sure to reassure her that she is indeed the sexiest woman alive to you..


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Some natural ways to boost testosterone:
HIT (high-intensity interval training) especially for legs, or anything that gets blood flow to the nether regions. 
Avoid plastics, and plastic products, soy etc they trash testosterone levels. 
Testosterone precursors.

Even with men a lot can be in the mind. Seems your focus is currently on work. 
Maybe work less? If you’re so tired every day are you even spending quality time together?

Screen time will also effect sex drive. More screen time less interest one will have.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

I’m 45 and a fat **** and every other day would be quite possible for me. We are probably around every 3rd day right now but that’s going to go up. I am on testosterone replacement therapy though.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My bf is 56 with type 1 diabetes and we do it 3-5 tines a week and he has no trouble. No supplements....just controls the diabetes and is in good shape.

I'm 48 and would be extremely unhappy with 2x a month.

I second getting your T checked. Also, what kind of physical shape are you in? Sorry if you addressed that and I missed it.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Sorry, but it needs asking... Do you still go solo a lot? Using porn? 

For sure get your T levels checked, and follow this advice:



TurnedTurtle said:


> @DerDrkD, don't over look these two statements -- taking all the steps recommended is good, but be sure to let her know what you are doing (and even involve her), and be sure to reassure her that she is indeed the sexiest woman alive to you..


Right now, she is not only sexually frustrated, I promise you she is also feeling quite rejected. You definitely need to fix this. You may never be able to keep up, but you can definitely (and need to) up your game. You two can probably come to a compromise, once she sees you are actively trying to address the problem. 

Otherwise, she will stay frustrated, her self-esteem will be destroyed, and she will be very vulnerable to someone else who shows interest.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

My goodness man, you need to man up and give her all that she wants.

I just wish my wife had been this horny and wanting ME at 35 !!!

I'm 67, and if your wife and I were in love, she'd get all she could handle from me, even at my advanced age !!!

Get yourself into her as much as you can, and don't let up !!! One day you might end up an old man in a wheelchair and wished you had taken advantage of your 35 year old horny wife !!!

Just DO IT, and stop complaining. There are men out there, like me, that didn't get, and WANTED what you now have !!! 

I can't believe there are men out there complaining about TOO MUCH SEX !!!


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Geez man, I'll be 54 next week and I'd be at it everyday if the wife was up for it. You need to get checked out now!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.


You’re starving your wife. Twice a month is a sexless relationship. Get to a dr fast. You basically have no libedo.

man’s hug your wife for being loyal to you and communicating her needs and desire for you


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

I agree with the others OP, you should see a doctor. I am early 50s and want sex everyday. My wife does not so I end up taking care of myself alot but everything still works and the desire is there.

And not trying to scare you or threaten you but if your wife wants it a lot and you don't, its going to become a problem at some point down the road like it is for some of us here already.

Address is NOW!

Good luck!


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> You’re starving your wife. Twice a month is a sexless relationship.


This. Once a month is considered officially sexless and is grounds for divorce, just to put things into perspective. 

You're teetering along the edge, OP.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I don’t agree with the man up stuff….. you’re not wanting. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You know she’s wanting and it turns you off.
But I agree with the others, either you have low T or you’re just asexual. Figure it out. 
I truly feel sorry for your wife. Not saying that to hurt you, just saying if I were in a relationship and only had sex 2 times a month, I’d be very hurt and upset and feel my lady didn’t love or desire me, and that’s likely how she feels.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Tested_by_stress said:


> Geez man, I'll be 54 next week and I'd be at it everyday if the wife was up for it. You need to get checked out now!


Yeah, but.

Butt?

You have all that cold Canadian Weather to deal with.

It is either snuggle up or freeze both sets of buns off.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Absolutely get testosterone levels checked. I am 39 and self inject once a week. I noticed roughly two years ago that my sex drive was highly diminished along with some weight gain and fatigue. My levels were about 177. My urologist jokingly said that is low for a guy who is 100 and he wouldn't want my levels lol. It took roughly a month, but the sex drive returned to the level of a 21 year old. She now can't keep up with me and I have to give her a day or two to get feeling back 😁. But I went from a few times a month to usually every day now and sometimes twice a day. I have also been dropping weight and noticing muscle growth. But at 35, you are in your sexual prime and should be humping like rabbits 😂

But there are lots of things you can do together to spice up the sex life. Try finding porn that you both enjoy as this really gets the mood going. I know you said sex toys are involved which is great. But the ultimate toy for getting her off if money isn't an issue is the Motorbunny which is about 1k. But there are other things like flavored lubes, blindfolds, silk rope, lingerie, a flogger. Also try gently rubbing ice on the skin and lightly blowing which will awaken every nerve in the area


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

theloveofmylife said:


> Sorry, but it needs asking... Do you still go solo a lot? Using porn?
> 
> For sure get your T levels checked, and follow this advice:
> 
> ...


So maybe once or twice a month I go solo.
I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.

But yeah we definitely need to work on something and me addressing my lack of sex drive.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

DerDrkD said:


> So maybe once or twice a month I go solo.
> I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.
> 
> But yeah we definitely need to work on something and me addressing my lack of sex drive.


I wouldn't be so sure. All of that is great, but she could definitely be feeling sexually rejected or frustrated. She probably doesn't want to feel like (just) a best friend or a roommate. She likely wants to feel like your wife and feel (sexually) desired.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

I talk to friends, coworkers and my brother and most are around my same age an are also 2-3 times a month, maybe 5. So I found the right forum. 50s and 67 guys that want to do it every day. Studs LOL.

I understand the ones doing testeroerone replacement but come on.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Absolutely get testosterone levels checked. I am 39 and self inject once a week. I noticed roughly two years ago that my sex drive was highly diminished along with some weight gain and fatigue. My levels were about 177. My urologist jokingly said that is low for a guy who is 100 and he wouldn't want my levels lol. It took roughly a month, but the sex drive returned to the level of a 21 year old. She now can't keep up with me and I have to give her a day or two to get feeling back 😁. But I went from a few times a month to usually every day now and sometimes twice a day. I have also been dropping weight and noticing muscle growth. But at 35, you are in your sexual prime and should be humping like rabbits 😂
> 
> But there are lots of things you can do together to spice up the sex life. Try finding porn that you both enjoy as this really gets the mood going. I know you said sex toys are involved which is great. But the ultimate toy for getting her off if money isn't an issue is the Motorbunny which is about 1k. But there are other things like flavored lubes, blindfolds, silk rope, lingerie, a flogger. Also try gently rubbing ice on the skin and lightly blowing which will awaken every nerve in the area


Your first part sounds exactly like me and it seems like the replacement would definitely make me able to keep up with her like it did for you.

I had to look up motorbunny (i’ve seen that Sybian one before) but damn for $1000 I would much rather let her run the vacuum a lot LOL

And at 39 I thought I was passed my prime and that was more in my low to mid 20s. And I also thought women hit theirs later as about where my wife is at?

I thought about the porn and we did watch some early on in our relationship. I’m sure she’s not against it or against lingerie, blindfolds and other kinky stuff. Could be what she’s talking about when she said she wants to “spice things up”. I might bring something up like this tonight.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Whenever my wife talks with her friends about sex frequency we always have more than them. She will bring that up and I’ll say “do we want to have an average marriage or an extraordinary marriage?”


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.


Did she say anything? When I slowed down, my wife said something which led me to the doctor. My testosterone was way low, but when I fixed that, it was good for a couple years, but now i'm slowing down again.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Did she say anything? When I slowed down, my wife said something which led me to the doctor. My testosterone was way low, but when I fixed that, it was good for a couple years, but now i'm slowing down again.


Testosterone replacement slows down your bodies natural production. I don't know what your levels are, but you probably need to up the dose a little. Also how often do you inject? I was once every two weeks, but now once a week. My levels at diagnosis were 177 and doctor said he wanted to see at least 600. I am about 850 now and both he and I are happy with that.

You also have to monitor red blood cell count and estrogen levels. High red blood cell count will thicken your blood and cause issues. High estrogen levels will also mimic low testosterone levels and can make you grow a set of milk cannons 😂. And while I love boobs, I have no desire to have my own.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Did she say anything? When I slowed down, my wife said something which led me to the doctor. My testosterone was way low, but when I fixed that, it was good for a couple years, but now i'm slowing down again.


Yes, she said we should spice things up in the bedroom 😁 kind of why I’m here. 

Did you fix it with testosterone replacement? I do understand when you do testosterone your body stops producing its own because it’s like, hey I’m good, and then when you slow it down or go off you crash.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> You also have to monitor red blood cell count and estrogen levels. High red blood cell count will thicken your blood and cause issues. High estrogen levels will also mimic low testosterone levels and can make you grow a set of milk cannons 😂. And while I love boobs, I have no desire to have my own.


That’s the bad thing about this, whenever you go off it and your crash and will probably be worse off than before you started. And not only do you have to worry about your estrogen, red blood count you also have to worry about your kidneys. And yeah, no one wants bítch tits 😉


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.


If she is wanting continuous sex and only getting it twice a month, she is. All that other stuff is great, but none of it meets the need for sex. I'm not picking on you. I'm honestly trying to help.

Also, masturbating isn't the same for many women as it is for men, so don't count on her toys fully satisfying her. Many of us prefer the real thing. Toys can't hug, kiss, caress, show desire, tell her she's beautiful, cuddle afterward, share pillow talk etc.

Someone posted a letter on here a while back from a person that was in a sexless relationship. It was quite sad. They even mentioned masturbation sessions that ended in tears. So, yeah, she got her orgasm, but it left her feeling even lonelier and sadder. What a shame that anyone should ever have to feel that way while in a relationship. 

How long has your situation been this way? If long, ask your wife if she's ever cried while going solo. Might be an eye opener.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She’s likely saying this to her buds:
I love Jim so much and he’s such a good man and a good husband, but our sex life sucks and I am feeling so lonely and starving for sex. I’m starting to find Joe Bob in accounting attractive.

You need to get this fixed or the above may be a reality one day. Your wife is not happy and al things are great. She is living an unfulfilled life.

Are you getting a dr’s appt?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DerDrkD said:


> I talk to friends, coworkers and my brother and most are around my same age an are also 2-3 times a month, maybe 5. So I found the right forum. 50s and 67 guys that want to do it every day. Studs LOL.
> 
> I understand the ones doing testeroerone replacement but come on.


Please remember that there is a very wide variety in how often men want sex. Just because a few her want sex every day at an older age doesn't mean that's the norm.
Try and reach a compromise with your wife if you can.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

red oak said:


> Some natural ways to boost testosterone:
> HIT (high-intensity interval training) especially for legs, or anything that gets blood flow to the nether regions.
> Avoid plastics, and plastic products, soy etc they trash testosterone levels.
> Testosterone precursors.
> ...


I will be 60 soon. I make me a concocation of cranberry juice and beet root powder(rich in nitric oxide......sildenalfil ala natural) and do a second morning cocktail of cilantro blended with 8ozs of organic tomato juice. Testosterone boosting as well as other beneficial side effects.

At thirty five my good man you should be burning up the sheets.

A question I have which is diet related..do you eat fast food and processed food? If so 🛑.
Avoid peanuts, too. 

Get you T checked. I’m pushing 60 in a few weeks wife is 59, we are 2-3 time per week.


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> I will be 60 soon. I make me a concocation of cranberry juice and beet root powder(rich in nitric oxide......sildenalfil ala natural) and do a second morning cocktail of cilantro blended with 8ozs of organic tomato juice. Testosterone boosting as well as other beneficial side effects.
> 
> At thirty five my good man you should be burning up the sheets.
> 
> ...


Wrong person I think.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest.
> 
> Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways.
> 
> I appreciate your insight.


I would suggest this.

You have to be specific and step to the plate before she grows frustrated and moves on or starts cheating.

This is not a topic to sit back on until it's too late.

Why is this coming up now rather than a year or two ago ? What has caused this ? 

Also, what is wrong with 'a cougar devouring her' ? Most of the guys I know don't get enough and want that.

SunCMars is right. He gave good advice. You are ripe for getting cheated on at this point. It is your obligation to satisfy her sexually. Step to the plate


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> That’s the bad thing about this, whenever you go off it and your crash and will probably be worse off than before you started. And not only do you have to worry about your estrogen, red blood count you also have to worry about your kidneys. And yeah, no one wants bítch tits 😉


Another one here north of 50 and we have sex about 3-5 times a week, but multiples a day aren't uncommon either. We've actually been on a roll the past several months averaging 7x a week. Most important is to satisfy each other. That will mean different things to different people. I will say though, 2x a month is low, almost clinically sexless.

If you are on TRT you won't ever be going off of it unless another medical issue comes up that doesn't mix well with it.

All those other things you mention only occur when you are taking T in doses that create T levels well above naturally occurring levels.

Definitely get hormone levels checked out. If they are normal and not the source of your low drive levels then you need to find other ways to step up your game.

You can do things like buy toys for you to use on her, not for her to take care of herself. Oral and manual sex will work too. And if you are masturbating even once a month it is too much if you don't meet your wife's sexual needs. The one time is one more opportunity to have sex and intimacy with her. 

Also, below is a link to some useful articles.






Sex Drive Archives - Uncovering Intimacy







www.uncoveringintimacy.com


----------



## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Hold on, let’s clarify. 

Are you only ****ing her a twice a month?
Or is twice a month your ideal frequency, but you’re doing it more often to please her - just not as much as she like?


----------



## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi all,
> 
> We’ve been married for 10 years. Our sex was good the first 4–5 years and then slowed some. Covid really slowed it down more with us being around each other all the time. As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not. I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up. She has her toys and I even bought some but some nights I think she would bang the UPS driver or even the vacuum.
> 
> ...


I would tread lightly here. Do you really want to buy a few extra toys and say have fun dear? How would her(potential) TAM title read? My husband doesn’t want to spice things up and just wants sleep?!?! If I were in your shoes here is what I would do. First I would figure out a balance, how much rest do you need and how much extra sacrifice can you make for your wife. I would try and create an extra special encounter say weekly. That way she knows what night to jump you and what nights to let you have your sleep. I would NOT reject her out right, also think things through from her perspective. I think that’s probably one of the best things about TAM, you do get different perspectives.


----------



## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi all,
> 
> We’ve been married for 10 years. Our sex was good the first 4–5 years and then slowed some. Covid really slowed it down more with us being around each other all the time. As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not. I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up. She has her toys and I even bought some but some nights I think she would bang the UPS driver or even the vacuum.
> 
> ...


Ok, so. A few items...

1.) You gotta step up your game. And quite possibly, as already discussed, it could be a 'T' thing. Whatever it is... hopefully it's treatable and quick to be turned around.
2.) Do you have a good idea 'why' the wife's drive has been amplified recently? Like... sure... Covid and stuff was rough... but have you had any conversation about this? I mean... typically as years pass I believe it would be considered 'normal' to have dropping drives in both males/females... especially a 10 year married couple. To see a dramatic shift, according to your words... that's just a bit weird to me. Dunno... just asking if you have an idea to the change.
3.) If you DON'T step up your game... that UPS driver you allude to WILL become reality.


----------



## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> Yes, she said we should spice things up in the bedroom 😁 kind of why I’m here.


She is probably thinking that spicing things up might spark your interest again. She feels like something is wrong with her, because you don't want sex. She will drive herself crazy with this, and may even end up doing things she regrets or even resents because she's trying so hard to win back your passion. 

Take care of your wife.


----------



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

DudeInProgress said:


> Hold on, let’s clarify.
> 
> Are you only ****ing her a twice a month?
> Or is twice a month your ideal frequency, but you’re doing it more often to please her - just not as much as she like?


EXACTLY! So yeah I want to clarify this because this post got off tangent with the testosterone replacement posts. I WANT to do it two times a month but I have sex with her more than that a month. But like I said my ideal that I feel mentally and sexually would be two times a month.


----------



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Rooster Cogburn said:


> Ok, so. A few items...
> 
> 1.) You gotta step up your game. And quite possibly, as already discussed, *it could be a 'T' thing.* Whatever it is... hopefully it's treatable and quick to be turned around.
> 
> 2.) Do you have a good idea '*why' the wife's drive has been amplified recently*? Like... sure... Covid and stuff was rough... but have you had any conversation about this? I mean... typically as years pass I believe it would be considered 'normal' to have dropping drives in both males/females... especially a 10 year married couple. To see a dramatic shift, according to your words... that's just a bit weird to me. Dunno... just asking if you have an idea to the change.


So yeah I’m definitely calling the DR on Monday about checking my levels and possibly getting a patch or cream from what I’ve been reading to maybe get my levels on par mentally and physically with my wife’s sex drive.

And about her sex drive, she is 35 and reading women come into their sexual peaks mid 30s to 40s. I said she’s hitting her stride when I’ve leveled out.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> So yeah I’m definitely calling the DR on Monday about checking my levels and possibly getting a patch or cream from what I’ve been reading to maybe get my levels on par mentally and physically with my wife’s sex drive.


Great to hear, that would be a simple explanation.


----------



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

theloveofmylife said:


> She is probably thinking that spicing things up might spark your interest again. She feels like something is wrong with her, because you don't want sex. She will drive herself crazy with this, and may even end up doing things she regrets or even resents because she's trying so hard to win back your passion.
> 
> Take care of your wife.


Actually we talked last night while in bed and her saying “spicing things up” was her wanting to do more kinkier stuff than regular sex. As another poster mentioned and from our convo last night she’s interested in stuff like blindfolds, bondage, being watched and kinky stuff like that. So yeah I better have the doctor give me two patches. I’m glad she’s coming to me telling me this and I definitely need to make plans to accommodate her.

_


ThatDarnGuy! said:



But there are other things like flavored lubes, blindfolds, silk rope, lingerie, a flogger. Also try gently rubbing ice on the skin and lightly blowing which will awaken every nerve in the area

Click to expand...

 _


----------



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

If you do start testosterone therapy don’t let a doctor put you on an aromatase inhibitor (estrogen lowering drug) right away. At normal replacement doses most men will not have problems with elevated estrogen. In fact a lot of bodybuilders don’t think you need them until you are above 750 mg per week of testosterone which is nearly 4 times more than you will likely be taking. Tanking your estrogen levels will also kill your libido, cause ED, and make you feel like crap. I know from experience.


----------



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> But there are other things like flavored lubes, blindfolds, silk rope, lingerie, a flogger. Also try gently rubbing ice on the skin and lightly blowing which will awaken every nerve in the area





CallingDrLove said:


> If you do start testosterone therapy don’t let a doctor put you on an aromatase inhibitor (estrogen lowering drug) right away. At normal replacement doses most men will not have problems with elevated estrogen. In fact a lot of bodybuilders don’t think you need them until you are above 750 mg per week of testosterone which is nearly 4 times more than you will likely be taking. Tanking your estrogen levels will also kill your libido, cause ED, and make you feel like crap. I know from experience.


 I appreciate your advice


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> As another poster mentioned and from our convo last night she’s interested in stuff like blindfolds, bondage, being watched and kinky stuff like that.


Well that sounds pretty good for you then! I mean, thats the stuff most guys would love to hear from their wives...at least I would!


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## SnakePlissken (10 mo ago)

DerDrkD said:


> Actually we talked last night while in bed and her saying “spicing things up” was her wanting to do more kinkier stuff than regular sex. As another poster mentioned and from our convo last night she’s interested in stuff like blindfolds, bondage, being watched and kinky stuff like that. So yeah I better have the doctor give me two patches. I’m glad she’s coming to me telling me this and I definitely need to make plans to accommodate her.


There is plenty of information the two of you could look up together on the internet to add some kink to your bedroom. One item that comes to mind: Lists/surveys that you two can take together will give you plenty of new ideas to try. Another benefit of conducting some research together....is it can give you better understanding of each others comfort levels with some sex acts and potential after effects when the adrenaline wears off.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> You’re 50 and can do it once or twice a day? Holy cow!
> 
> I’m in decent shape, over the past two years I gained 15 pounds but not chubby. I haven’t been to my my primary dr. for years.


I am mid 70s and twice a day is norm. Longer than 48 hours begin wanting to climb walls.

Get healthy weight and fitness. Get your Tlevel where it needs to be. Two times a month at 50 is unusually low IMO. Your wife sounds about right. You ought to be concerned and taking strong action to fix yourself. Before the UPS delivery guy gets jumped.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.


Good Lord, you are complaining???!!!


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

DerDrkD said:


> I talk to friends, coworkers and my brother and most are around my same age an are also 2-3 times a month, maybe 5. So I found the right forum. 50s and 67 guys that want to do it every day. Studs LOL.
> 
> I understand the ones doing testeroerone replacement but come on.


I think you need to take your buddies to the doctor with you, I'm 61 and if my wife would participate we would be at 3-4 times a week. Are you sure that these guys don't want more and are not getting?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

DerDrkD said:


> So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.
> 
> The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.


I wonder if the steroid use negatively impacted your libido after you went off using.

I'm 51 and admittedly high drive. I could go 2-4 times a day most of the time.

I'm also fit and eat mostly good.

P.S. never used steroids and haven't used T treatments and my levels are over 800.

Natural diet and exercise. @No Longer Lonely Husband had some good tips.


----------



## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Be very careful, not keeping up with your woman can lead to bad things.... you better figure this out.

I am envious of your position and I think most guys on here would be also.... (I'm 42)... wanting it twice in a couple months is NOT normal for a male of any age.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Testosterone replacement slows down your bodies natural production. I don't know what your levels are, but you probably need to up the dose a little. Also how often do you inject? I was once every two weeks, but now once a week. My levels at diagnosis were 177 and doctor said he wanted to see at least 600. I am about 850 now and both he and I are happy with that.
> 
> You also have to monitor red blood cell count and estrogen levels. High red blood cell count will thicken your blood and cause issues. High estrogen levels will also mimic low testosterone levels and can make you grow a set of milk cannons 😂. And while I love boobs, I have no desire to have my own.


Not only slows it down, but stops it completely. My balls are the size of peanuts at this point....lol, but i'm done having kids so really doesn't matter. I keep my levels between 750 - 900, inject two to three times a week. I get bloods every quarter as HCT levels can get high at times. Last blood has estrogen at 50, but usually around 20-30. If you are still going into the muscle, stop, and do sub q injections; it tends to not be so bad on HCT/hemoglobin.


----------



## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Yes, she said we should spice things up in the bedroom 😁 kind of why I’m here.
> 
> Did you fix it with testosterone replacement? I do understand when you do testosterone your body stops producing its own because it’s like, hey I’m good, and then when you slow it down or go off you crash.


Yes, i've been on TRT for about 7 years now. My body doesn't produce any T on it's own anymore. What's funny though is if I stop taking it, I don't crash, barely feel a difference, but libido takes a big hit.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

re16 said:


> Be very careful, not keeping up with your woman can lead to bad things.... you better figure this out.
> 
> I am envious of your position and I think most guys on here would be also.... (I'm 42)... wanting it twice in a couple months is NOT normal for a male of any age.


I'm 67 and I could certainly handle, and want sex, twice a day if I could get it. Every other day would be just fine too !!!

Man o man, I hate seeing men waste having women with high sex drives !!! It wouldn't take me long to spice things up for a woman that WANTED me.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not.





re16 said:


> Be very careful, not keeping up with your woman can lead to bad things.... *you better figure this out.*


@DerDrkD you have wasted a year. You had better get to working this problem hard to a solution ASAP. At age 35 she isn't likely to wait for much longer


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

You guys are like parrots repeating the same thing over and over that I need to fcuk daily or she’s going to leave or cheat on me. Believe me, that’s not going to happen. So like I said, she wants to spice things up. She doesn’t care if I have it once a week, two times a week or once a month. She just wants to get freakier.

But I will take the advice and I’m getting my blood test Wednesday afternoon at my doctors and I’ll go from there. 👍🏼


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> You guys are like parrots repeating the same thing over and over that I need to fcuk daily or she’s going to leave or cheat on me. Believe me, that’s not going to happen.


I really hope it doesn't happen. People are trying to help you.



DerDrkD said:


> So like I said, she wants to spice things up. She doesn’t care if I have it once a week, two times a week or once a month.


If you say so.



DerDrkD said:


> She just wants to get freakier.


Why do you think that is? She's just a freak and willing to only go once a month as long as it's freaky? Doubtful. She probably thinks it's a way to get you excited (motivated) to do something about your dead bedroom.

Hopefully, the doc visit will do the trick. Also, might want to ask about your medications, if any. Some cause low sex drive. Good luck.


----------



## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Went to my doctor yesterday and they took my blood and sending out to check my t levels and some other things. He doubts I’m low t and said I’m probably like a majority of guys coming out of the Covid rut and not active and eating unhealthy. (Which he is right) So if my t levels are good he suggested I get on a diet and do a little exercise. But he said if I am low t they’ll go over some options along with eating better and exercise.

That would definitely step up my sex appetite but my wife still wants to try a little more kinky stuff. Friday were planning on going to the adult toy store and get some things.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Regarding T levels. Total T counts for less than Free T, which is what is available to drive your mojo. Also, don’t let the doctor give you the “its normal for your age” routine. That was message from my GP. Your level needs to be what is normal for an active male, not for an old man.

Ask him about DHEA. I personally think it helps

Great you two are going to the store together. The couple that “shops” together stays together.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> Went to my doctor yesterday and they took my blood and sending out to check my t levels and some other things. He doubts I’m low t and said I’m probably like a majority of guys coming out of the Covid rut and not active and eating unhealthy. (Which he is right) So if my t levels are good he suggested I get on a diet and do a little exercise. But he said if I am low t they’ll go over some options along with eating better and exercise.
> 
> That would definitely step up my sex appetite but my wife still wants to try a little more kinky stuff. Friday were planning on going to the adult toy store and get some things.


Is he checking just total t? Free t and sgbh needs to be checked as well. And another thing to consider is many doctors will consider you normal even if you’re in the lower end of the range. Like 300-500.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.


Every other night is not that much. If she wanted it twice a day every day that would be too much. 

You both have very different libidos.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

romantic_dreamer said:


> Every other night is not that much. If she wanted it twice a day every day that would be too much.
> 
> You both have very different libidos.


A woman who wants it every other night? Does she have any sisters?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

ah_sorandy said:


> I'm 67 and I could certainly handle, and want sex, twice a day if I could get it. Every other day would be just fine too !!!
> 
> Man o man, I hate seeing men waste having women with high sex drives !!! It wouldn't take me long to spice things up for a woman that WANTED me.


Cupid’s a cruel matchmaker. These threads of high drive wives make me jealous. I’m 57 and would love to have my wife everyday but have to settle for the 2 to sometimes 3 times a week. Even after being together for 35 years and raising 4 kids, my desire for her has not lessened.

He better find a way to meet her halfway because if he doesn’t want to create an opening for an interloper. I’m actually curious what caused her drive to peak so much. Hope there’s not already an interloper that’s getting her all excited and she’s using OP and toys as a stand in.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

jsmart said:


> Cupid’s a cruel matchmaker. These threads of high drive wives make me jealous. I’m 57 and would love to have my wife everyday but have to settle for the 2 to sometimes 3 times a week. Even after being together for 35 years and raising 4 kids, my desire for her has not lessened.
> 
> He better find a way to meet her halfway because if he doesn’t want to create an opening for an interloper. I’m actually curious what caused her drive to peak so much. Hope there’s not already an interloper that’s getting her all excited and she’s using OP and toys as a stand in.


at our age - I am 61, wife 62 - I'd say having to "settle for the 2 to sometimes 3 times a week" is good. Damn good. We average twice a week. Not bad. ... The OP wife could be inspired by someone else? Good point.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

jsmart said:


> Cupid’s a cruel matchmaker. These threads of high drive wives make me jealous. I’m 57 and would love to have my wife everyday but have to settle for the 2 to sometimes 3 times a week.


Better 1/2 loaf than none. IMO it is mostly just chemistry. As in hormones. OPs wife’s hormones are driving her to every other day. In a few years it could be twice a day or twice a week or twice a month. OP’s hormones are fine with twice a month. In a few years he could end up wanting it every day.

Unfortunately we are controlled in every way including libido by endocrine functions.

People should be careful what they wish for. I recall a joke where old guy told friends in his 60 year old wifes presence that he was going to trade her in on two 30s. She exclaimed “you cant take care of what you already have!”


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Better 1/2 loaf than none. IMO it is mostly just chemistry. As in hormones. OPs wife’s hormones are driving her to every other day. In a few years it could be twice a day or twice a week or twice a month. OP’s hormones are fine with twice a month. In a few years he could end up wanting it every day.
> 
> Unfortunately we are controlled in every way including libido by endocrine functions.
> 
> People should be careful what they wish for. I recall a joke where old guy told friends in his 60 year old wifes presence that he was going to trade her in on two 30s. She exclaimed “you cant take care of what you already have!”


Endocrine Functions would be a good name for a band.


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Went to my doctor yesterday and they took my blood and sending out to check my t levels and some other things. He doubts I’m low t and said I’m probably like a majority of guys coming out of the Covid rut and not active and eating unhealthy. (Which he is right) So if my t levels are good he suggested I get on a diet and do a little exercise. But he said if I am low t they’ll go over some options along with eating better and exercise.
> 
> That would definitely step up my sex appetite but my wife still wants to try a little more kinky stuff. Friday were planning on going to the adult toy store and get some things.


That sounds like a positive step. And who wouldn't enjoy a trip to the adult toy store. My wife won't go but she is good with me buying things online so while not as exciting, still making progress.

Have fun!


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.


I have been giving myself injections since 37. My urologist had Low T and started at 34 himself. I am 50 and wife is 53 and are intimate 4-5x week. It is usually 45min to hour each time. 
You need to check your hormone panel. When I was 37, my T level was at 223 and I was like a zombie. Tired all the time, not interested in sex and at times I could not perform.

Your wife's labido is normal, yours is not!


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest.
> 
> Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways.
> 
> I appreciate your insight.


Find a Urologist or Dr at a wellness place. A lot of PCP do not know much about HRT and are averse to prescribing HRT. I refuse to ever go back to pre HRT time. 

My Dr. Said men feel best around 1000-1100 ng/DL levels. Some guys feel ok at lower levels.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> So maybe once or twice a month I go solo.
> I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.
> 
> But yeah we definitely need to work on something and me addressing my lack of sex drive.


If physical intimacy is her love language I guarantee she is feeling frustrated AND rejected. I was at a point I was contemplating divorce at a point in the past that my wife only wanted sex ~3x month. Now she is sorrowful that she was the way she was and what we missed, what could have been. She has apologized for her behavior back then and sees the damage it did to our relationship.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> I talk to friends, coworkers and my brother and most are around my same age an are also 2-3 times a month, maybe 5. So I found the right forum. 50s and 67 guys that want to do it every day. Studs LOL.
> 
> I understand the ones doing testeroerone replacement but come on.


Studs...no ..normal...


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

theloveofmylife said:


> She is probably thinking that spicing things up might spark your interest again. She feels like something is wrong with her, because you don't want sex. She will drive herself crazy with this, and may even end up doing things she regrets or even resents because she's trying so hard to win back your passion.
> 
> Take care of your wife.


If she is not feeling wanted by OP, she may look to find out from other men that her looks/body are not the issue.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> So yeah I’m definitely calling the DR on Monday about checking my levels and possibly getting a patch or cream from what I’ve been reading to maybe get my levels on par mentally and physically with my wife’s sex drive.
> 
> And about her sex drive, she is 35 and reading women come into their sexual peaks mid 30s to 40s. I said she’s hitting her stride when I’ve leveled out.


No you have bottomed out. I would not even mess with patches or gells. Just a wast of time. 

I had to inject Test. Cyphonate .5cc 2x week. Was doing 1cc weekly and urologist suggested split it and go to 2x for more level absorption. I could see a difference.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> Actually we talked last night while in bed and her saying “spicing things up” was her wanting to do more kinkier stuff than regular sex. As another poster mentioned and from our convo last night she’s interested in stuff like blindfolds, bondage, being watched and kinky stuff like that. So yeah I better have the doctor give me two patches. I’m glad she’s coming to me telling me this and I definitely need to make plans to accommodate her.


That could move to 3 somes or cuckold/open marriage because you are not making the grade. Glad you are getting your levels checked.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> No you have bottomed out. I would not even mess with patches or gells. Just a wast of time.
> 
> I had to inject Test. Cyphonate .5cc 2x week. Was doing 1cc weekly and urologist suggested split it and go to 2x for more level absorption. I could see a difference.


Atrevis cream is pretty good.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Deepsouthdude said:


> Atrevis cream is pretty good.


The problem with anything external is it can get on someone it isn't meant for. Like OP's wife. She surely doesn't need an accidental dose of T.

IMO, injection is simple, easy, cheap, painless, and infrequent. Best of all it is well understood, tolerated, and gets the job done.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> The problem with anything external is it can get on someone it isn't meant for. Like OP's wife. She surely doesn't need an accidental dose of T.
> 
> IMO, injection is simple, easy, cheap, painless, and infrequent. Best of all it is well understood, tolerated, and gets the job done.


Of course, but that’s not a big obstacle. 
I don’t think injection protocol is that well understood or we wouldn’t have doctors recommending one every 1, 2 or even 3 weeks. 
Don’t get me wrong, if I ever feel I’m not getting the results I think I should from cream I will definitely go back to injections but I’ll do every other day or three times a week.


----------



## SnakePlissken (10 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> That could move to 3 somes or cuckold/open marriage because you are not making the grade. Glad you are getting your levels checked.


Why do you think kinks could lead to 3 somes and cuckolding? I am curious to understand your point of view.


----------



## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

SnakePlissken said:


> Why do you think kinks could lead to 3 somes and cuckolding? I am curious to understand your point of view.


My guess is the part where her kinks included being watched. My first thought when I read that part was that she wants to bring in someone else who can get the job done.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> I’m glad she’s coming to me telling me this and I definitely need to make plans to accommodate her.


Yes, it is great she is voicing her needs to you. You still have opportunity to avoid a crash. I would suggest acknowledging to her you need to step up to meet her desire and tell her the steps you are taking. Explain your libido issues. 

I would edit your post to read “ I definitely need to accommodate her” 

The concerning thing (to me) is wanting to be watched. What exactly does she mean. Hopefully not MFM. Maybe that is no barrier for you, if not then my apologies for mentioning


----------



## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Bet it could be fun being watched


----------



## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

“My wife wants to have sex in the back seat of the car…..and she wants ME to drive!”

- Rodney Dangerfield


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Bet it could be fun being watched


I always thought so too. Watching another couple or having them watch.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> I always thought so too. Watching another couple or having them watch.


Absolutely. Four in the same room. Having fun, watching, being watched … could lead to exploring


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

SnakePlissken said:


> Why do you think kinks could lead to 3 somes and cuckolding? I am curious to understand your point of view.


She wants to be watched and OP is not taking care of her needs...hence a surrogate hubby since he is not interested.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Deepsouthdude said:


> Atrevis cream is pretty good.


They had me try Testing gel..it only got mine to 400.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> The problem with anything external is it can get on someone it isn't meant for. Like OP's wife. She surely doesn't need an accidental dose of T.
> 
> IMO, injection is simple, easy, cheap, painless, and infrequent. Best of all it is well understood, tolerated, and gets the job done.


When wife was trying to get into HRT. She went to one female Dr that gave her injection cocktail. Said if it wears off quick then come back and will give an adjusted dose. 

After a couple of weeks she went back and Dr gave her full dose. She was insatiable. After sex within 30 min she was ready to go again. She was changing panties 2-3x day and started wearing panty liners. She basically took off work for 2 weeks to let it subside, as she could not think about work...only sex. 

Later when she told me about it, I was like..."Why did you not say something! I would have taken vacation and stayed home with you!!!!!"


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> They had me try Testing gel..it only got mine to 400.


What gel was it? I can’t remember what my levels were last time I got tested with Atrevis but it was higher than that and I’ve increased my dosage since then.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Deepsouthdude said:


> What gel was it? I can’t remember what my levels were last time I got tested with Atrevis but it was higher than that and I’ve increased my dosage since then.


Dang auto correct. Testem? Testum?


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Dang auto correct. Testem? Testum?


I’m not familiar with that one. I know atrevis cream is probably the best one out there. Injections are cheaper but I would rather not use them and I’m feeling good with the cream.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

What has changed in your lives that has her so spicy. Could she be talking with a new guy? Is she talking with a friend who’s regaling her with her lifestyle? While it’s great for guy's with a normal to high sex drive, it does make you wonder what’s changed?

I agree with others that her talking about wanting to be watched can be the tip of a further yet unspoken desire to swing, swap or worse. I’m glad to hear you’re getting yourself checked. Once you’re upping your sex game, she will probably not have as a much of a desire for things that she mentioned. You have left her unsatisfied for a while. Ever go shopping while hungry. Your cart gets full real fast. That’s how you have been leaving her.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

jsmart said:


> What has changed in your lives that has her so spicy. Could she be talking with a new guy? Is she talking with a friend who’s regaling her with her lifestyle? While it’s great for guy's with a normal to high sex drive, it does make you wonder what’s changed?
> 
> I agree with others that her talking about wanting to be watched can be the tip of a further yet unspoken desire to swing, swap or worse. I’m glad to hear you’re getting yourself checked. Once you’re upping your sex game, she will probably not have as a much of a desire for things that she mentioned. You have left her unsatisfied for a while. Ever go shopping while hungry. Your cart gets full real fast. That’s how you have been leaving her.


Sometimes a spouse just wants to get down, dirty, and freaky with their spouse. This doesn't mean they are taking with someone on the side.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Sometimes a spouse just wants to get down, dirty, and freaky with their spouse. This doesn't mean they are taking with someone on the side.


Exactly! Was there last night


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

I agree that a wife my at times want to release her inner whor. on her husband, what man wouldn’t want that? But this couple has not had that type of sexual relationship. That’s the reason I’d want to know what brought on this new sexual appetite.

Also this is not a wife rocking her husband’s world once after a great date night, it’s been going on for a while. With a husband that think his wife wanting sex every other day is extreme. I could be wrong but I’m not getting the vibe that it’s her husband that’s firing her up.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

jsmart said:


> I agree that a wife my at times want to release her inner whor. on her husband, what man wouldn’t want that? But this couple has not had that type of sexual relationship. That’s the reason I’d want to know what brought on this new sexual appetite.
> 
> Also this is not a wife rocking her husband’s world once after a great date night, it’s been going on for a while. With a husband that think his wife wanting sex every other day is extreme. I could be wrong but I’m not getting the vibe that it’s her husband that’s firing her up.


What I like about your post is saying your wife likes to release her inner whor from time to time lol. While this might sound like an extreme and degrading term, I don't believe it's possible for a lady to be a whor to her spouse in a consenting marriage.... I actually think it's beautiful and confident to be wide open with your spouse and to let out all inner sexual feelings and there should never be a feeling of shame.

It's a true sign of being loving and trusting to your spouse and it's absolutely freeing and sexy!.... I encourage everyone to be an absolute whor to your spouse on this Saturday night 😆


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

So I guess my wife wants to do what you guys said and release her “inner whor”. Friday evening we wound up going out for some drinks and on the way home she was really turned on so we drove to an adult supercenter. We wound up purchasing a curved glass toy, a bed restraint kit with arm and ankle cuffs and also a couple sexy little outfits with stockings. After we showered for bed she wanted me to get the new glass toy and use it on her. We’ll, I found that special spot easily with it and I have never seen her 💦💦 like that before 😳

Saturday night after we got back from an early dinner I tried hooking up that under bed restraint kit but it was a pain in the ass. We didn’t get to it when she came out with the little outfit on, maybe next time. Glad I didn’t have to perform Friday night because she wore me out! She knows I’m watching sports tonight so I’m glad she went out with her mom and sister shopping and to the movies.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> So I guess my wife wants to do what you guys said and release her “inner whor”. Friday evening we wound up going out for some drinks and on the way home she was really turned on so we drove to an adult supercenter. We wound up purchasing a curved glass toy, a bed restraint kit with arm and ankle cuffs and also a couple sexy little outfits with stockings. After we showered for bed she wanted me to get the new glass toy and use it on her. We’ll, I found that special spot easily with it and I have never seen her 💦💦 like that before 😳
> 
> Saturday night after we got back from an early dinner I tried hooking up that under bed restraint kit but it was a pain in the ass. We didn’t get to it when she came out with the little outfit on, maybe next time. Glad I didn’t have to perform Friday night because she wore me out! She knows I’m watching sports tonight so I’m glad she went out with her mom and sister shopping and to the movies.


Excellent! Wish my wife would do this more often. Rare but fun


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> What has changed in your lives that has her so spicy.


After talking with my doctor about my situation I did ask and he said what I’ve read. She’s 35 and coming into her peak and certain women get this way in their mid to upper 30s.

I should get my t results this week so if need be I’ll go on HRT or whatever so I can keep up her pace.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Excellent! Wish my wife would do this more often. Rare but fun


Me too! (Well MY wife not me wishing YOUR wife would do it)


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> So I guess my wife wants to do what you guys said and release her “inner whor”. Friday evening we wound up going out for some drinks and on the way home she was really turned on so we drove to an adult supercenter. We wound up purchasing a curved glass toy, a bed restraint kit with arm and ankle cuffs and also a couple sexy little outfits with stockings. After we showered for bed she wanted me to get the new glass toy and use it on her. We’ll, I found that special spot easily with it and I have never seen her 💦💦 like that before 😳
> 
> Saturday night after we got back from an early dinner I tried hooking up that under bed restraint kit but it was a pain in the ass. We didn’t get to it when she came out with the little outfit on, maybe next time. Glad I didn’t have to perform Friday night because she wore me out! She knows I’m watching sports tonight so I’m glad she went out with her mom and sister shopping and to the movies.


Congrats my man! That sounds hot as hell! I am envious in a good way. Many wish their wives wanted to do any of those things.

I will say you need to stop worrying about your bedroom skills and START worrying about your handyman skills. The lack of being able to get that bed restraint kit setup in order to use it that night is disappointing! LOL


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Yeah I got pretty frustrated with it fast. Trying to slide it under the mattress with the box spring cover skirt moving. Then you get one good on one side and pull the other side they slide back under lol. And once she came out with the panties, bra and stockings on I dropped everything.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> And once she came out with the panties, bra and stockings on I dropped everything.


OK well, we'll give you a pass for this time based on that reason. I mean stocking just by themselves would distract the best of engineers!


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

I got my T results back and I’m 425ng/dL


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> I got my T results back and I’m 425ng/dL


That is inside the range, but low end. Typical range is 250-1100. What about free T?


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> I got my T results back and I’m 425ng/dL


What does your doctor say about it? Is he going to prescribe trt? I’d want mine higher if I was you.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> That is inside the range, but low end. Typical range is 250-1100. What about free T?


A single sample for total T doesn't tell a whole lot. The numbers fluctuate during each day and over days. And the 250-1100 is a range for a wide age range of men. What the 425 does point to is a potential reason why @DerDrkD libido may be lower than he and his wife would like. What if that is the highest he ever is? Everyone is different, so what might be adequate for one is scraping the bottom for another. That number is about the best mine ever was when started HRT. The lows would be about 150. Which doctor said was "normal" for my age. But I could tell by how I felt that it was too low.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Well before I go with HRT he wants me to be more active and start eat better. I’ve already started riding my bike and some stuff in the morning the last week. Also speaking to him about what’s going down and what the wife wants he told me I’ve been in a rut and she might be bringing me out of that with her ideas.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Well before I go with HRT he wants me to be more active and start eat better. I’ve already started riding my bike and some stuff in the morning the last week. Also speaking to him about what’s going down and what the wife wants he told me I’ve been in a rut and she might be bringing me out of that with her ideas.


If this gets you to exercise more, its been worth it just for that. I know I could stand to move a bit more so any reason to do so is worth it!


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> Well before I go with HRT he wants me to be more active and start eat better. I’ve already started riding my bike and some stuff in the morning the last week. Also speaking to him about what’s going down and what the wife wants he told me I’ve been in a rut and she might be bringing me out of that with her ideas.


Yes, I think you should exercise and work on your eating habits, but that’s not going to bring your levels up to an optimal range.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

To up your T levels, you should up your red meat. (Organic, grass fed, Free range) along with quality greens, fats, and some complex carbs. Do some heavy compound lifts (squats, dead lifts, bent over rows, military & bench press, and lat pull downs). Look up starting strength or strong lifts. In less than 6 months you will be jacked and horny as F.

You can also do calisthenics to get similar results. Think boot camp type of workouts like the military and police academies have their recruits perform.

I agree with others that 1 test with OK results will not give you an accurate assessment. At your age , you should not be annoyed by your girl wanting it every other day. Doesn’t mean all of us men have to be horn dogs but a sexual appetite of twice a month seems low. But who knows; maybe we’re all over sexualized and you’re the normal one.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

jsmart said:


> But who knows; maybe we’re all over sexualized and you’re the normal one.


You just may be right?!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> You just may be right?!


Mmm twice a month is low. That pace here in 2017. Awful! We are twice-a-week now. Don’t know why. Ain’t asking.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Mmm twice a month is low. That pace here in 2017. Awful! We are twice-a-week now. Don’t know why. Ain’t asking.


Oh I agree, twice a month IS low. However, if my T levels were only resulting in wanting it twice a month, I would probably be the same desire level as my wife and wouldn't be as frustrated and thinking about sex as much as I do.

Trying to get her to go multiple times a week takes a lot of effort and I endure a lot of denials in the process. Wears you out after a while.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

jsmart said:


> To up your T levels, you should up your red meat. (Organic, grass fed, Free range) along with quality greens, fats, and some complex carbs. Do some heavy compound lifts (squats, dead lifts, bent over rows, military & bench press, and lat pull downs). Look up starting strength or strong lifts. In less than 6 months you will be jacked and horny as F.
> 
> You can also do calisthenics to get similar results. Think boot camp type of workouts like the military and police academies have their recruits perform.
> 
> I agree with others that 1 test with OK results will not give you an accurate assessment. At your age , you should not be annoyed by your girl wanting it every other day. Doesn’t mean all of us men have to be horn dogs but a sexual appetite of twice a month seems low. But who knows; maybe we’re all over sexualized and you’re the normal one.


So doing that will get his testosterone from the 400 range to 600 or more?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

DeepSouth, I believe so. I also recommend to cut way back on beer and stop anything with soy. They both raise estrogen levels. When I lift heavy for a few weeks, I really feel the difference in how much more I desire sex. Unfortunately there’s not much of any change in
My wife’s drive.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

jsmart said:


> DeepSouth, I believe so. I also recommend to cut way back on beer and stop anything with soy. They both raise estrogen levels. When I lift heavy for a few weeks, I really feel the difference in how much more I desire sex. Unfortunately there’s not much of any change in
> My wife’s drive.


Honestly I tend to be skeptical but it’s worth a shot. Once you start trt for most men you’re going to have to stay on it. I’m interested to see what the op does and how it works for him.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

jsmart said:


> DeepSouth, I believe so. I also recommend to cut way back on beer and stop anything with soy. They both raise estrogen levels. When I lift heavy for a few weeks, I really feel the difference in how much more I desire sex. Unfortunately there’s not much of any change in
> My wife’s drive.


Beer has that? Hello, Jim, Jack and Johnnie


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

DerDrkD said:


> You’re 50 and can do it once or twice a day? Holy cow!


I'm almost 70 and still can and do 2-3 times a week, but would like it everyday. My refractory system won't allow it after I cum, though. So I have to wait 24 to 48 hours.

at 39 years of age, unless you're suffering from low testosterone, then, you're low desire. How often were you ready for it in your late teens to late 20's? 

Sorry, I just read that you used to take steroids. You better get checked. They do create havoc in your body. Those dudes that take those steroids, become highly unstable, irascible, develop heart Problems and a lot of them die way before they time. I just can't for the life of me understand all those dudes that lift weights damaging their body with those drugs.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Oh I agree, twice a month IS low. However, if my T levels were only resulting in wanting it twice a month, I would probably be the same desire level as my wife and wouldn't be as frustrated and thinking about sex as much as I do.
> 
> Trying to get her to go multiple times a week takes a lot of effort and I endure a lot of denials in the process. Wears you out after a while.


The answer to your dilemma is T suppression? Urologists prescribe that for prostate cancer patients.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Rob_1 said:


> I'm almost 70 and still can and do 2-3 times a week, but would like it everyday. My refractory system won't allow it after I cum, though. So I have to wait 24 to 48 hours.
> 
> at 39 years of age, unless you're suffering from low testosterone, then, you're low desire. How often were you ready for it in your late teens to late 20's?
> 
> Sorry, I just read that you used to take steroids. You better get checked. They do create havoc in your body. Those dudes that take those steroids, become highly unstable, irascible, develop heart Problems and a lot of them die way before they time. I just can't for the life of me understand all those dudes that lift weights damaging their body with those drugs.


70? 2 to 3 a week? You are my hero!!!!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> 70? 2 to 3 a week? You are my hero!!!!


75 10-12 lol


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Deepsouthdude said:


> Honestly I tend to be skeptical but it’s worth a shot. Once you start trt for most men you’re going to have to stay on it. I’m interested to see what the op does and how it works for him.


I would only use some therapy if I was super low and nothing else worked. I definitely think going natural is better. 
Look up Starting Strength workouts. There’s a lot of info out there. It does not have to be followed religiously. It calls for lifting 3 times a week. You will start to see small results in about a month, in 3 months people will start noticing, and by 6 months anybody that knows you for a long time will be blown away by the changes in appearance.

As for your sexual drive, it will go up. Now does your wife match you? That may be the issue. I’ve read and even sometimes noticed with my wife that when I’m really fit, she turns me down less often. Is it because she likes what she sees or because I’m giving off a more masculine energy ? can’t say. Maybe it’s a little of both. Btw, by masculine energy, I’m saying walking around all cocky but in a subconscious way, you give off an energy that people notice. Your self confidence for sure goes up. To me, it’s a winner winner chicken dinner.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Numb26 said:


> 70? 2 to 3 a week? You are my hero!!!!


As I said, still can, but that doesn't mean that I now get it 2 to 3 times, but in average, a lot of times I do get it 2-3 times a week, but my wife doesn't get the same pleasure as I do. She accommodates me a lot of time. Up to around 55-58, I was very high desire to the point that if I didn't get it one day I wouldn't be able to sleep, and or get a headache from not getting it. My wife grew with me in that respect, to accommodate me. I thank her for that.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

jsmart said:


> I would only use some therapy if I was super low and nothing else worked. I definitely think going natural is better.
> Look up Starting Strength workouts. There’s a lot of info out there. It does not have to be followed religiously. It calls for lifting 3 times a week. You will start to see small results in about a month, in 3 months people will start noticing, and by 6 months anybody that knows you for a long time will be blown away by the changes in appearance.
> 
> As for your sexual drive, it will go up. Now does your wife match you? That may be the issue. I’ve read and even sometimes noticed with my wife that when I’m really fit, she turns me down less often. Is it because she likes what she sees or because I’m giving off a more masculine energy ? can’t say. Maybe it’s a little of both. Btw, by masculine energy, I’m saying walking around all cocky but in a subconscious way, you give off an energy that people notice. Your self confidence for sure goes up. To me, it’s a winner winner chicken dinner.


I don’t think you’ll find anyone that says anything negative about starting strength. It’s a great program. 
I think either way the op should do some form of exercise. Most doctors that are good with testosterone therapy strongly encourage their patients to strength train to get the most benefits out of their protocol. 
For me while on therapy I lost 60 pounds and didn’t see a noticeable change in my levels. But someone who isn’t on therapy possibly could see a change. But even if strength training made no changes in testosterone levels there are so many other benefits it’s worth doing it.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

jsmart said:


> I would only use some therapy if I was super low and nothing else worked. I definitely think going natural is better.
> Look up Starting Strength workouts. There’s a lot of info out there. It does not have to be followed religiously. It calls for lifting 3 times a week. You will start to see small results in about a month, in 3 months people will start noticing, and by 6 months anybody that knows you for a long time will be blown away by the changes in appearance.
> 
> As for your sexual drive, it will go up. Now does your wife match you? That may be the issue. I’ve read and even sometimes noticed with my wife that when I’m really fit, she turns me down less often. Is it because she likes what she sees or because I’m giving off a more masculine energy ? can’t say. Maybe it’s a little of both. Btw, by masculine energy, I’m saying walking around all cocky but in a subconscious way, you give off an energy that people notice. Your self confidence for sure goes up. To me, it’s a winner winner chicken dinner.


Thank @jsmart for the info 👍🏼


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> After talking with my doctor about my situation I did ask and he said what I’ve read. She’s 35 and coming into her peak and certain women get this way in their mid to upper 30s.
> 
> I should get my t results this week so if need be I’ll go on HRT or whatever so I can keep up her pace.


On Monday my urologist prescribed me compounded T cream to try. He said he has some better results over the injection and also more level since applied daily. I will try for 3 weeks and get blood work, if it has dropped I will go back to injections. He said he would not mess with the premade gels, only pharmacy compounded testosterone creams.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Me too! (Well MY wife not me wishing YOUR wife would do it)


Gotta send a brother good wishes! I wish your wife would do that for you!


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> On Monday my urologist prescribed me compounded T cream to try. He said he has some better results over the injection and also more level since applied daily. I will try for 3 weeks and get blood work, if it has dropped I will go back to injections. He said he would not mess with the premade gels, only pharmacy compounded testosterone creams.


What cream will you be using? Are you going to be using it twice daily?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Deepsouthdude said:


> What cream will you be using? Are you going to be using it twice daily?


It is bio-identical compounded by pharmacy. 2 clicks AM, 1 click PM


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Gotta send a brother good wishes! I wish your wife would do that for you!


I appreciate that....as so do I!


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

It’s strange but I’m feeling really interested with this kinky stuff my wife is wanting to do. Last night she did a little “role-play“ and I was really into it and had no problem doing it with her. Today I got back from work and figured out the bed restraints and I might surprise her tonight or tomorrow if she’s feeling it which I’m sure she will be!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> It’s strange but I’m feeling really interested with this kinky stuff my wife is wanting to do. Last night she did a little “role-play“ and I was really into it and had no problem doing it with her. Today I got back from work and figured out the bed restraints and I might surprise her tonight or tomorrow if she’s feeling it which I’m sure she will be!


Dude you got your groove back! Thats awesome! Wife is a lucky woman...

...and by the way if your wife eats anything special or does anything that you think is increasing her drive and the kinky ideas...PLEASE let me know as mine could benefit from that information


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

I don’t know if I have my groove back maybe just more interested in what’s she’s into and wanting.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> I don’t know if I have my groove back maybe just more interested in what’s she’s into and wanting.


I think thats all that counts my friend. If BOTH parties are interested, thats a great start!!!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> I don’t know if I have my groove back maybe just more interested in what’s she’s into and wanting.


And keep in mind you are in a great position for having a woman that wants sex AND is telling you WHAT she wants. I think thats pretty rare and you are quite fortunate.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

DerDrkD said:


> For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.


How about two times this year. She will have sex because it I her marital "obligation" and then its starfish sex. After four days I am beside myself,she shows NO interest,we are both 70+.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Deguello said:


> How about two times this year. She will have sex because it I her marital "obligation" and then its starfish sex. After four days I am beside myself,she shows NO interest,we are both 70+.


Huh? 🤨


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Someone here on TAM the other day wrote "marriage is like a shark. Has to keep moving or perish."

You're looking at an incredible opportunity to rejuvenate instead of perish. Read up, enjoy, explore this together, deepen your bond. You're a lucky guy. Being in a new skin (moving vs coasting) always feels a bit odd, uncomfortable or awkward, but it sounds like your wife is going to be very, very supportive of your willingness to explore with her. Take this incredible opportunity to strengthen your relationship, don't miss out.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Quad73 said:


> Someone here on TAM the other day wrote "marriage is like a shark. Has to keep moving or perish."
> 
> You're looking at an incredible opportunity to rejuvenate instead of perish. Read up, enjoy, explore this together, deepen your bond. You're a lucky guy. Being in a new skin (moving vs coasting) always feels a bit odd, uncomfortable or awkward, but it sounds like your wife is going to be very, very supportive of your willingness to explore with her. Take this incredible opportunity to strengthen your relationship, don't miss out.


Wow that’s a cool explanation of what’s going on and what I should do.

"marriage is like a shark. Has to keep moving or perish”

thanks for the post @Quad73 👍🏼


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Longtime Hubby said:


> A woman who wants it every other night? Does she have any sisters?


There’s tons of them.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> 70? 2 to 3 a week? You are my hero!!!!


 No joke. I’m feeling better about the future lol.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

My ex wife was 36 when she started going after attention from guys on Twitter, wanted a divorce (which I gladly obliged after I found out) and started whoring around (she told me she did this). I was having sex with her all she wanted. I’m glad you’re taking your wife’s desire seriously and hope you do get something to increase your drive.

Your wife isn’t like my ex I hope, but you don’t want a wife that’s starving for sex all the time. People who are hungry eat.

bravo on trying to do something about it.
Btw, I’m 49 and 3 or 4 times a week is good for me. I’d be fine with 2 or 3 times a week.
I’m single, and the ladies I’m dating in my age group are good to go whenever, as often as I can I stand it. This myth that women rarely want sex is not what I see at all. I see woman like your wife.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Evinrude58 said:


> My ex wife was 36 when she started going after attention from guys on Twitter, wanted a divorce (which I gladly obliged after I found out) and started whoring around (she told me she did this). I was having sex with her all she wanted. I’m glad you’re taking your wife’s desire seriously and hope you do get something to increase your drive.
> 
> Your wife isn’t like my ex I hope, but you don’t want a wife that’s starving for sex all the time. People who are hungry eat.
> 
> ...


Yep. I'm 48 and good for 3-5 times a week.

Sometimes that varies with the crazy hormone swings I have but on average it holds.

That assumes I have a guy I like. My desire will disappear if I don't like you, so OP is fortunate in that his wife still wants him.


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## GoodDad5 (9 mo ago)

My T levels are around 260, but I’m only 41. My PCP refuses to prescribe it to me as he says it’s normal. I don’t have a libido problem; quite the opposite actually. I would like to get into better shape though. I know my mood could be a lot better. My wife has no libido whatsoever and the one reason I hesitate to be on T injections is because I don’t want my libido soaring when hers is still in the dump.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

GoodDad5 said:


> My T levels are around 260, but I’m only 41. My PCP refuses to prescribe it to me as he says it’s normal. I don’t have a libido problem; quite the opposite actually. I would like to get into better shape though. I know my mood could be a lot better. My wife has no libido whatsoever and the one reason I hesitate to be on T injections is because I don’t want my libido soaring when hers is still in the dump.


DO NOT inject T!!! It will make you eager 24/7. Dressed and nowhere to go. Your libido is already frustrated. Your mood with T injection will be horrible.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

GoodDad5 said:


> My T levels are around 260, but I’m only 41. My PCP refuses to prescribe it to me as he says it’s normal. I don’t have a libido problem; quite the opposite actually. I would like to get into better shape though. I know my mood could be a lot better. My wife has no libido whatsoever and the one reason I hesitate to be on T injections is because I don’t want my libido soaring when hers is still in the dump.


You need a different doctor. That’s crazy.


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## GoodDad5 (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> DO NOT inject T!!! It will make you eager 24/7. Dressed and nowhere to go. Your libido is already frustrated. Your mood with T injection will be horrible.


What am I supposed to do though? My hormone level is that of a 70 year old and my mood is in the tank more than it should. I struggle to build muscle mass and I can’t seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try.


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

GoodDad5 said:


> What am I supposed to do though? My hormone level is that of a 70 year old and my mood is in the tank more than it should. I struggle to build muscle mass and I can’t seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try.


I recommend Defy Medical. It’s all online so they can help you from anywhere in the U.S.


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

GoodDad5 said:


> What am I supposed to do though? My hormone level is that of a 70 year old and my mood is in the tank more than it should. I struggle to build muscle mass and I can’t seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try.


Testosterone is more than just sex drive. Low t increases your chances for heart disease among other things. Find a good clinic. It will help your moods as well.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

GoodDad5 said:


> What am I supposed to do though? My hormone level is that of a 70 year old and my mood is in the tank more than it should. I struggle to build muscle mass and I can’t seem to lose weight no matter how hard I try.


I dont know. But trust me, if you inject and get your T up you don't have a willing partner you will be in way worse mood. I started because at over 70 my wife was outpacing my abilities. After starting T I am slightly ahead of her, which is how she likes it (responsive desire)


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

GoodDad5 said:


> My T levels are around 260, but I’m only 41. My PCP refuses to prescribe it to me as he says it’s normal. I don’t have a libido problem; quite the opposite actually. I would like to get into better shape though. I know my mood could be a lot better. My wife has no libido whatsoever and the one reason I hesitate to be on T injections is because I don’t want my libido soaring when hers is still in the dump.


I say your Dr if full of shyt! Find another Dr. Many PCPs are scared of HRT because they are not knowledgeable about it. Mine was at 223 when 37yo and Dr wants to keep me around 1000-1100. Which is where levels have been the past 13 yrs.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Had a great weekend and I’m really digging what my wife is getting into. I used the bed restraint system Saturday night with a blindfold and it was pretty intense. She definitely was digging it. Then we had a regular round last night. Seems like with her spicing things up I’m feeling like I’m not in a rut and want it 1-2 times a month anymore. Hell, I just did it 2 times this weekend lol 😳


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Had a great weekend and I’m really digging what my wife is getting into. I used the bed restraint system Saturday night with a blindfold and it was pretty intense. She definitely was digging it. Then we had a regular round last night. Seems like with her spicing things up I’m feeling like I’m not in a rut and want it 1-2 times a month anymore. Hell, I just did it 2 times this weekend lol 😳


Sweet!!! You have easily won the TAM Success Story of the Year award!!! 

I am happy for you!


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## Deepsouthdude (Feb 12, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> Had a great weekend and I’m really digging what my wife is getting into. I used the bed restraint system Saturday night with a blindfold and it was pretty intense. She definitely was digging it. Then we had a regular round last night. Seems like with her spicing things up I’m feeling like I’m not in a rut and want it 1-2 times a month anymore. Hell, I just did it 2 times this weekend lol


Congrats! Glad things are working out for you two.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Thanks I dont know about a success story but definitely she’s piquing my interest with this freaky deaky stuff.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> Thanks I dont know about a success story but definitely she’s piquing my interest with this freaky deaky stuff.


The fact you are heading in a positive direction is all you need for a success story around here. It is pretty common for people to arrive here already past the point of no return with whatever issue they are dealing with. You got here soon enough, with an attitude in the right place to address the issues and a spouse that wants to work on the marriage with you. That is definitely a recipe for success around here.


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## Sundevin (7 mo ago)

bobert said:


> You need to ask HER what she wants. Does she want more toys, mutual masturbation, just oral? Etc. Just because you're not up for intercourse doesn't mean you can't help her out in other ways.
> 
> Like said above you should also get a physical (and mental) health check. This will also show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation. If you used to have a higher drive, figure out what happened - whether that's something medical, something in the home, stress, etc.


beautiful piece of advice. communicate as much detail as possible. that is key


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## Sundevin (7 mo ago)

TurnedTurtle said:


> @DerDrkD, don't over look these two statements -- taking all the steps recommended is good, but be sure to let her know what you are doing (and even involve her), and be sure to reassure her that she is indeed the sexiest woman alive to you..


100% agreed . you gotta be you .


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

So since the last time I posted I’ve cut out drinking soda or sweet tea and laid off the breads and pasta. I’ve started riding my bike and walking at night which seems to have my circulation going because when she wants to play my little friend fills up ready to go faster than over the last couple years. Plus her spicing things up with ideas has got me mentally interested more than physical interested which helps. I don’t know if before I was physically not interested in sex or it was a mentally not interested in sex, but those are slowly coming back.

Over the past couple of weeks a few sessions were pretty hot but when she role-plays it’s pretty intense. She did bring up being watched again a couple times while role-playing like we were f**king in front of others which totally got us both off. We even got on pornhub, redtube and xhamster and watched some pretty hot videos and then played after getting worked up.

I decided not to go the TRT route as of now unless I start to drop off. Then I’ll talk to my doctor again about getting the patch or cream.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> So since the last time I posted I’ve cut out drinking soda or sweet tea and laid off the breads and pasta. I’ve started riding my bike and walking at night which seems to have my circulation going because when she wants to play my little friend fills up ready to go faster than over the last couple years. Plus her spicing things up with ideas has got me mentally interested more than physical interested which helps. I don’t know if before I was physically not interested in sex or it was a mentally not interested in sex, but those are slowly coming back.
> 
> Over the past couple of weeks a few sessions were pretty hot but when she role-plays it’s pretty intense. She did bring up being watched again a couple times while role-playing like we were f**king in front of others which totally got us both off. We even got on pornhub, redtube and xhamster and watched some pretty hot videos and then played after getting worked up.
> 
> I decided not to go the TRT route as of now unless I start to drop off. Then I’ll talk to my doctor again about getting the patch or cream.


Dude, I am happy for you! Not only did your sex life improve based on what your wife wanted but it sounds like your health is going to improve as well! Thats awesome!

And your wife is still into getting more spicy?! Who wouldn't want that! (Maybe she can call my wife and tell her its OK for women to want sex?) LOL

Keep it up my friend (literally!)


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping her ass into his crotch as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.

We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up ****ing me really good. I honestly couldn’t last as long and wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.

Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Oh and I also got that Nugenix stuff a few weeks ago and it seems to be working. I thought it would be BS but I definitely notice along with my better eating and walking and riding my bike.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping her ass into his crotch as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish sexy smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.
> 
> We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up fccking me really good. I honestly could last as long a wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.
> 
> Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


Sounds like she has a hubby cuckhold fantasy to me. Be very careful.

If she ever brings it up, tell her it would not work, as you have a fantasy of taking the K-Bar to wife's F-Buddy/rapist, fantasy and she might not care for all the blood on the carpet. It would get expensive having to replace the carpet every time. Plus after the 2 nd coroner pickup at the house the cops would be getting suspicious.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> Sounds like she has a hubby cuckhold fantasy to me. Be very careful.
> 
> If she ever brings it up, tell her it would not work, as you have a fantasy of taking the K-Bar to wife's F-Buddy/rapist, fantasy and she might not care for all the blood on the carpet. It would get expensive having to replace the carpet every time. Plus after the 2 nd coroner pickup at the house the cops would be getting suspicious.


 Strange, I have no idea what you’re talking about and don’t even know if you meant to comment on my post. Cockhold, K-Bar, F-Buddy/rapist fantasy, blood, cops ???


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> Sounds like she has a hubby cuckhold fantasy to me. Be very careful.
> 
> If she ever brings it up, tell her it would not work, as you have a fantasy of taking the K-Bar to wife's F-Buddy/rapist, fantasy and she might not care for all the blood on the carpet. It would get expensive having to replace the carpet every time. Plus after the 2 nd coroner pickup at the house the cops would be getting suspicious.


You know, it might just be that @DerDrkD enjoyed what happened when they got home from the bar, so maybe being introduced to the cuckold situation by his wife was a good thing for him. 

It is not a lifestyle I would ever engage in, but maybe it's right for him and his wife. She said to him “I told you I wanted to be watched” when they went to bed, so if they both enjoyed the sex that followed, more power to them. To each their own so to speak.

@DerDrkD if you can tolerate your wife's behavior without getting jealous or angry, let your wife take you where she wants to go. However, be forewarned, your marriage might be changed forever, and might even be destined to failure.

JMHO.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping her ass into his crotch as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish sexy smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.
> 
> We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up fccking me really good. I honestly could last as long a wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.
> 
> Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


Glad it works for you, but that isn't acceptable married woman behavior IMO. You are standing at the top of a very slippery slope, so be careful


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping her ass into his crotch as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish sexy smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.
> 
> We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up fccking me really good. I honestly couldn’t last as long and wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.
> 
> Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


Man, that is awesome...I am happy for you as things seem to be turning around.

You might mention to your wife if she would have been OK if the roles were reversed and you had been doing that to some other woman and would she have minded? Any maybe she would be OK which would be cool. Just don't want to see you get setup for her taking advantage of you agreeing to her fantasies. Such as if she ever wants to bring another guy into the bedroom, make sure she knows you expect another woman as well. Or just to be safe, find a couple to watch you and not just a single man or woman.

I bet she won't and you guys are just going to enjoy her sexuality and you getting on board with it. Just don't want to see it go south on you.

But like they say, its not where you get your appetite, its where you eat dinner! 

I do think its great as many guys would want their wives to open up and recognize and appreciate their own seuality. And it looks like she has and is getting you to do so as well.

Have fun my friend!!!


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

And I know some of you guys are against what may be happening but keep in mind, he could have a marriage that is nearing the end from the OTHER end of the spectrum where the wife isn't into anything even sex with him and the marriage is still at risk of failing.

So while there may be some risk involved, at least he is having great sex along the way. There is risk on either end. No marriage is guaranteed. Its just me, but I would rather have fun and then the marriage MAY go bad rather than having no fun and the marriage tanks anyway. 

Your mileage may vary...


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

This is going to take an interesting turn.
What did she say to him?


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

So I read up on the cuckold thing mentioned above. I dont want to were a penis cage and I’m not a fem/sissy so that seems pretty extreme. I guess role playing with her might be ok but she hasn’t mentioned that at all. Also after last night‘s talk in bed and us playing I didn’t bring it up.

But I did ask about her dance floor escapade and she asked me if I liked it. I told her I didn’t get jealous or mad because we’ve been married for 10 years, but it was intense watching her dancing with that guy and it gave me butterflies. So you like watching me? she asked. I said I guess I did because it was different and obviously later that night we did the deed pretty good.

She said she liked me watching her dance and also him and the other people she noticed watching her on the dance floor, so she gave a show. She felt slutty and it got her hot. She’s not shy so I can see that.

And this morning when I woke up I rolled behind her and started touching her ass and legs. She woke up and we kissed for 5-10 mins and she went down on me which was definitely a wake up call!


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

manwithnoname said:


> This is going to take an interesting turn.
> What did she say to him?


 I did ask her, not from jealousy but curiosity. And it was “thanks for dancing I have to go back to my husband” 👍🏼


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

@DerDrkD In your shoes, I would get the wife to teach me to dance well. Practice with her at home before going to the bar. Then, she can be backing into YOUR crotch on the dance floor while all audience watches. 

You are handling this situation as best you can for your benefit. BTW, not losing it when another man has his hands on her waist and her rear against his crotch was best move you could have made. A typical husbands response would have ended badly all the way around. 

What option do you have but to hang on as well as you can for the wild ride you are on? It seems to me that your wife's sexual awakening is making you aim at a target that is moving faster and faster every day. For your sake, I hope you are up to the task to last long enough for things to begin calming down ( which they will eventually but it may take years ) and that you never stumble. She is calling the shots and has all of the power. Which realistically is where most women are relative to their men. The power of *****.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> She is calling the shots and has all of the power. Which realistically is where most women are relative to their men. The power of ***.


This is very true and its just nice to read a posting from the positive aspect of that as opposed to the negative side (i.e. wife isn't interested)

I also like the idea of learning how to dance as then he can be an active participant as well.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

I don’t think I’m gonna go learn how to dance just because my wife and I go dancing 8 times a year. But I get the point. Just glad someone didn’t give her a pastry or fancy entree and I would have to become a chef lol

Some telling me to get juiced up on testosterone and others in panic mode that she was going to leave me which is funny.

I guess I’m glad I have a wife that wants sex rather than the other story I breezed through with a wife who doesn’t care about sex. I started to read but that thread already had too many replies to even start to understand.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> I guess I’m glad I have a wife that wants sex rather than the other story


Yep, As I mentioned in my previous post...like reading your story as opposed to the opposite situations.

Put the Mrs. on the back of your bike (I would guess you are a Harley guy...BMW man myself but all two wheels are good in my eyes), take her for a ride and make sure she knows how much you appreciate her being into some physical fun.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> I don’t think I’m gonna go learn how to dance just because my wife and I go dancing 8 times a year. But I get the point. Just glad someone didn’t give her a pastry or fancy entree and I would have to become a chef lol


Well, I will just say doing things a wife enjoys together with her improves the pair bond. I ENJOY spending time baking with my wife, cooking. She enjoys fishing with me. Although she often catches bigger fish than me. If she wanted to dance we would take a class together. Of course we are very long married and with kids gone we are one another’s companion which we thank the Lord for every day.

But, you do you. Apologies for the earlier suggestions about “getting Testosterone juiced up”. Later…


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

How did I know by page 6 that the wife's kinky crap was going to end up with her starting to prep him for her and other men. So freaking transparent and common that I knew where this is heading. A weak, pathetic dude that gets butterflies by watching his wife grinding against another man. Yep, another pathetic cuckold wanna be dude.

It's coming, right now is grinding, tomorrow when he's more into it it will be him watching the wife with another dude having sex, and before you know it, that's all he'll do, watch.


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## DerDrkD (8 mo ago)

Another fortune teller looking into his crystal ball! LMAO

And by the way it’s page 10

* ignored


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

DerDrkD said:


> So I read up on the cuckold thing mentioned above. I dont want to were a penis cage and I’m not a fem/sissy so that seems pretty extreme. I guess role playing with her might be ok but she hasn’t mentioned that at all. Also after last night‘s talk in bed and us playing I didn’t bring it up.
> 
> But I did ask about her dance floor escapade and she asked me if I liked it. I told her I didn’t get jealous or mad because we’ve been married for 10 years, but it was intense watching her dancing with that guy and it gave me butterflies. So you like watching me? she asked. I said I guess I did because it was different and obviously later that night we did the deed pretty good.
> 
> ...


**** cage was not mentioned. Cuckhold fantasy is wife getting off on you watching her screw another man.

Which by your admission about seeing her bump and grind with other dudes, you may be ok with that.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping her ass into his crotch as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.
> 
> We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up ****ing me really good. I honestly couldn’t last as long and wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.
> 
> Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


Sounds fantastic!! I’ve tried to follow some comments and I hope this isn’t a repeat of anything but if you haven’t tried role playing or suggested it at some point, you may want to if you feel more change is needed. My wife and I are in our 50s and we never discussed it before. We slowed down a little in our intimacy and I had stumbled onto it from an article in another site. Now I won’t go into details that are private but for us it was fun. We both got quite turned on with taking roles. We’ve done a few fun extreme things and she loved it. You may want to talk it over but it’s important to participate in things you both would be comfortable with. 

If sounds like your wife enjoys being in the driver’s seat. We won’t involve others in our intimacy but we have role played where I am her nerdy and dutiful husband and she is THE BOSS for some period of time. I ask her permission to do things and stuff like that. That is quite a turn on and I admit I enjoy it. It gives her a chance to harmlessly live out some fantasy. But that slope can be slippery and boundaries were set. It extends the intimacy beyond physical bedroom activity, which is fun and I have to admit I’m not getting any younger.

If things are working great now maybe you don’t want to make any changes and that’s fine.


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## plastow (Jan 4, 2022)

DerDrkD said:


> For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.


then i think you had better start working on your sex life ,do some exciting things before she finds excitement with another guy


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi all,
> 
> We’ve been married for 10 years. Our sex was good the first 4–5 years and then slowed some. Covid really slowed it down more with us being around each other all the time. As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not. I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up. She has her toys and I even bought some but some nights I think she would bang the UPS driver or even the vacuum.
> 
> ...


Women often have a big sexual peak later. 35 seems a little early for it. For me it was late 40s, but everyone is different. It was, frankly, miserable for me. You'll just have to join in when you feel like it and let her know you're not as horny as her at the moment and tell her to go nuts with the toys.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Philip P. said:


> Sounds fantastic!! I’ve tried to follow some comments and I hope this isn’t a repeat of anything but if you haven’t tried role playing or suggested it at some point, you may want to if you feel more change is needed. My wife and I are in our 50s and we never discussed it before. We slowed down a little in our intimacy and I had stumbled onto it from an article in another site. Now I won’t go into details that are private but for us it was fun. We both got quite turned on with taking roles. We’ve done a few fun extreme things and she loved it. You may want to talk it over but it’s important to participate in things you both would be comfortable with.
> 
> If sounds like your wife enjoys being in the driver’s seat. We won’t involve others in our intimacy but we have role played where I am her nerdy and dutiful husband and she is THE BOSS for some period of time. I ask her permission to do things and stuff like that. That is quite a turn on and I admit I enjoy it. It gives her a chance to harmlessly live out some fantasy. But that slope can be slippery and boundaries were set. It extends the intimacy beyond physical bedroom activity, which is fun and I have to admit I’m not getting any younger.
> 
> If things are working great now maybe you don’t want to make any changes and that’s fine.


I think this is the key OP. Role play vs her actually taking charge and leaving you responding passively "I guess I'm ok with that..."

That's what folks are warning you about re a potentially slippery slope.

Active participation and some self analysis re your boundaries are what's required right now so that the fun you're having doesn't turn into a messed up disaster.

She knows what her eventual goal is, that comes across quite clearly in how she did what she did on the dance floor.

Have fun, enjoy - - but think hard about your boundaries NOW, otherwise she'll cross them before you even see 'em.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

Quad73 said:


> I think this is the key OP. Role play vs her actually taking charge and leaving you responding passively "I guess I'm ok with that..."
> 
> That's what folks are warning you about re a potentially slippery slope.
> 
> ...


Whatever is decided should have both parties agreement. There’s nothing wrong with a surprise, but not something that broadsides a partner.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> How did I know by page 6 that the wife's kinky crap was going to end up with her starting to prep him for her and other men. So freaking transparent and common that I knew where this is heading. A weak, pathetic dude that gets butterflies by watching his wife grinding against another man. Yep, another pathetic cuckold wanna be dude.
> 
> It's coming, right now is grinding, tomorrow when he's more into it it will be him watching the wife with another dude having sex, and before you know it, that's all he'll do, watch.


That's because Dr. Derk Twerk can't see the forrest for the trees. You called it.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

DerDrkD said:


> Hi, Haven’t been on for a little bit but I wanted to tell you what happened last night. The wife and I went out for some drinks at a bar that has a dance floor. I guess being 4th of July weekend the place was pretty busy. Well after a little she wanted to dance and I honestly can’t dance for crap and we weren’t with friends so she went out by herself. Right as she started dancing a guy tried to dance with her. When we are out with other friends and that happens her and her girlfriend usually dance away or block him. But she didn’t last night and let him. So around the second or third song, I lost track tbh, she spun and backed up and was pretty much bumping he as he held her waist. I didn’t get mad and watched them dance more, she even looked over to me a few times with a devilish smirk. She only had a couple drinks so she wasn’t even buzzed. Then she smiled and said something to him and walked off the dance floor and back over to me. I told her “we’ll that was different” and she giggled and played it off as nothing. We talked a little more but soon went home.
> 
> We got home and both showered and ready for bed. In bed out of no where she said “I told you I wanted to be watched”. And she was really turned on and she wound up ****ing me really good. I honestly couldn’t last as long and wild as she wanted. So that was really different of her last night.
> 
> Hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend


we are in our late 50 and with the last 10 years my wife and I go to a privet club in france , because there is not much for people of our age to go to and it is good to get out over the last 10 years we might have been there 10 times so it is not often we go , 
it has all types of areas for people to relax and depending on what you wish to do , there is a bar and a dance area and steam rooms sanua and tv room ,
I like to just watch people do some body reading ,not an expert in body langue or anything but I have sometimes seen a husband and wife come in and he like you not as willing to hit the dance floor and the wife go dance and found it intresting to see men come on to the dance floor and after dancing with the woman the woman turns and dance in the way you talk about, what I crudly call "***** in heat style" once I saw a woman dance this way and she ended up leaving and going to the pool area with 2 men and after she and the 2 men went to a room and the husband walking around the club like he was not worried , 
well the last time we went we had a table and I again saw a couple at the table beside me both sitting at the same side of the table but both turned away from each other I thought well your not getting on it looked like he was pushing his wife to do something she did not want to do and they were starting to get upset , they left the club soon after.
table next to them had a couple, one of them the man was into dancing and used to go dance on his own and was quite good to dance by himself , and they were joined by another couple that know them well , very soon after the couples had split up and the new formed couples we had the man that was into dancing gave all night dancing with the other mans wife , the others chatted a lot and danced very little and both were not good dancers , but the woman that was a good dancer used to dance in the way you talked about what you wife did and even the man did the same to her kind of rubbing his ass into her crotch all so , later they went to the steam rooms and when they came out all 4 went to a privet room with only just bath towles rapped around them .


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## Brian from Columbus (Dec 9, 2020)

My wife has a super libido too. She’s an exhibitionist for our repairmen, lawn service, ups guy. I’m open minded and pleasure her very often , but she finds our “routine” vanilla

We finally added some spice by making love, once a month, with our friends Ken and Joyce watching it all. no swapping. No swinging. Just an appreciative couple seeing, hearing, our lovemaking up close. It wildly excites my wife


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

I would speak to her and support her through. We all go through similar situations in life. Don’t ignore it because you don’t feel the same way. Work with her on it.


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## Brian from Columbus (Dec 9, 2020)

My wife has a half dozen hot ideas to “spice” things up, just don’t damage your relationship or your trust in he process


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Brian from Columbus said:


> My wife has a super libido too. She’s an exhibitionist for our repairmen, lawn service, ups guy. I’m open minded and pleasure her very often , but she finds our “routine” vanilla
> 
> We finally added some spice by making love, once a month, with our friends Ken and Joyce watching it all. no swapping. No swinging. Just an appreciative couple seeing, hearing, our lovemaking up close. It wildly excites my wife


My dad was installing a 📡 at someone's residence. Guy was at work, had a hot wife, while he and his employe were in the living room, the wife walks out of bathroom after shower and walks by on way to her bedroom with nothing but a towel on ....................... 
wrapped around her head. Don't know if she was exabitionist or hoping for a 3 some.


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## Brian from Columbus (Dec 9, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> My dad was installing a 📡 at someone's residence. Guy was at work, had a hot wife, while he and his employe were in the living room, the wife walks out of bathroom after shower and walks by on way to her bedroom with nothing but a towel on .......................
> wrapped around her head. Don't know if she was exabitionist or hoping for a 3 some.


no threesome, but she was obviously wildly aroused after giving our young contractor guys a long look at her bare body,


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Wife would not go there, she says what she has is for daddy's 👀 only. Same time she does not want me outside house w/o a shirt on. She said that chest belongs to her and does not even want another woman seeing it.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

How about some 🌶 powder or 🫑?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rayr44 said:


> How about some 🌶 powder or 🫑?


Spicy hell! We talking 🔥 crotch there. 

PSA......Guys! Do not go take a leak after cutting up hot peppers...without THOROUGHLY scrubbing those hands with ALOT of soap.😢


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

ah_sorandy said:


> My goodness man, you need to man up and give her all that she wants.
> 
> I just wish my wife had been this horny and wanting ME at 35 !!!
> 
> ...


“Too much sex” makes zero sense.
get ALL you can!


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