# Unhappy Husband



## Married2007 (Oct 11, 2020)

I am looking for advice about my marriage. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have 4 small children. My husband says that our sexual relationship is terrible and that it’s my fault. I agree with him that I am not as sexual as him. I don’t need as much sex as him. I don’t think about sex all the time like him. He watches porn frequently. He’s a part of groups that people send nude pictures and videos of themselves on there. I try not to let it bother me.... but that can’t be normal?!?!? He says things on women’s pictures like “It doesn’t get any more beautiful than that.” He says other women are beautiful and gorgeous. He wants me to take and post pictures of my self but I am an overweight mom of 4. Nobody wants to see that 🤦🏼‍♀️ We have sex 1-2+ times a week. He says it’s not enough. We usually have sex in the mornings because I am extremely tired in the evenings. We have twins that are 4 and literally take all my energy. He complains that we don’t have sex in the evenings. He says it’s not long enough when we do have sex and that I’m basically just doing it to please him. It’s hard either evenings or mornings because the kids are constantly in/out of our bedroom. I don’t know what to do. I have talked to doctors about my low sex drive but there’s not anything they can do. They basically blame it on my extreme tiredness. I also work a full time job and my husband works on the road so he is gone for 3-4 days at a time.... leaving me the soul caregiver.... my husband bases his happiness on how much sexual attention he gets. We can have an excellent weekend but if he doesn’t get laid then he’s in an absolutely terrible mood and is pissed and says everything he works for is for nothing because he isn’t “rewarded” properly. But if he gets laid every night then he thinks it’s the best time ever. I’m lost and feel so frustrated. I know this is a lot so thanks for making it this far😩


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Married2007 said:


> my husband bases his happiness on how much sexual attention he gets.
> says everything he works for is for nothing because he isn’t “rewarded” properly


I can empathize with that. I think my own happiness level is severely diminished by lack of sexual attention. And, sex is the only possible reward of marriage, to me, and to many other men.



Married2007 said:


> I also work a full time job and my husband works on the road so he is gone for 3-4 days at a time.... leaving me the soul caregiver...


Wow, I can empathize with that, too. You must be exhausted. I think your husband needs to curtail his "away from home", and if that is not possible, to hire in some help in your home.



Married2007 said:


> I try not to let it bother me.... but that can’t be normal?!?!?


I can't speak for "normal", but I believe watching porn, for a married man, is adultery. It will clearly lead to unrealistic expectations and discontent in the man who participates in it. Destroys the marriage, every bit as much as if he had physical affairs.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

I'm going to start by saying, I'm sorry but your husband is an arse. Now let's parse a bit through your post.



Married2007 said:


> My husband says that our sexual relationship is terrible and that it’s my fault.


Unless you are the one solely withholding sex, he is as much to blame as you are.



> He wants me to take and post pictures of my self but I am an overweight mom of 4. Nobody wants to see that


Wrong! There are entire websites for women of your size, whatever it is. I also have no doubt that your self image is worse than reality. I personally prefer women of a more "zaftig" nature. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my eye candy, but all my long term relationships have been women of substance, as well as most of my play partners. My only real use for thinner women is as rope bunnies.

We have sex 1-2+ times a week. He says it’s not enough. We usually have sex in the mornings because I am extremely tired in the evenings. We have twins that are 4 and literally take all my energy. He complains that we don’t have sex in the evenings. He says it’s not long enough when we do have sex and that I’m basically just doing it to please him. It’s hard either evenings or mornings because the kids are constantly in/out of our bedroom. I don’t know what to do. I also work a full time job and my husband works on the road so he is gone for 3-4 days at a time.... leaving me the soul caregiver.... [/QUOTE]

I did cut out a bit to address specifically later. What is your husband doing to aid you in the care of the kids when he is home? He needs to realize that his lack aid contributes directly to your inability to perform. He also has to understand that this period in having kids is a reduction in sex, for exactly what you described. However, you do need to be teaching the kids that they should not be entering your bedroom unless it's important.



> I have talked to doctors about my low sex drive but there’s not anything they can do. They basically blame it on my extreme tiredness.


Make sure your getting second opinions. Sometimes doctors end up passing over potential problems, especially with women.



> my husband bases his happiness on how much sexual attention he gets. We can have an excellent weekend but if he doesn’t get laid then he’s in an absolutely terrible mood and is pissed and says everything he works for is for nothing because he isn’t “rewarded” properly. But if he gets laid every night then he thinks it’s the best time ever. I’m lost and feel so frustrated.


And this is what makes him an arse. He needs to stop being so self centered, at least on a sexual level. If he's going to base his happiness on sex alone, then he is going to be highly disappointed, and deserves to be. He has to learn to enjoy things without the "reward" of sex.


Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Your husband is not normal and neither are his expectations. He wouldn't last a day working full-time and caring for 4 small children. Forget about taking sexy pics and sharing on the internet for his perverted pleasure - he is sick. Placing responsibility for all of his happiness on his penis isn't quite fair to that poor little feller; it's bound to fail him at some point and then what's he gonna do - give it a whipping? ha-ha


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

You work full time, have four young children that you take care of all by yourself, and still have sex twice a week?
You are a hero,lady. The only thing that’s wrong with you is you are too nice


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Dear OP, Your husband is a lucky guy. My suggestion is to have some serious heart to heart conversations with him on boundaries and expectations on marriage. 4 kids is a lot of parenting time. 

The two of you really need to understand what a real marriage looks like and agree to that vision of marriage. Working with a marriage counselor can help with negotiating what you both can live with. You need to understand that you can't change your H and he can't change you. You can work together to find a compromise that will work for your family and your marriage. You can figure out how you can create time for what you need.

When I was younger, my wife and I looked forward to summer camp for our kids as a chance to rest and devote ourselves to each other. Obviously during Covid-19 that is not an option. The lock down has put incredible pressure on young families. Can you find time for date nights with each other, even if it is just going for a walk, hand in hand?

If you have tried talking to him and the two of you haven't compromised on solutions, you might spend some time with a marriage counselor. The can be expensive, but much less expensive than two divorce attorneys.

good luck


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> it's bound to fail him at some point and then what's he gonna do - give it a whipping?


_cough_ You might even consider it a beating..._cough_

I'm not a 100% sure if the pun was intended or not but it is awesome.



WandaJ said:


> You work full time, have four young children that you take care of all by yourself, and still have sex twice a week?
> You are a hero,lady. The only thing that’s wrong with you is you are too nice


Quoted for truth. She either has a WW or S on her chest.


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## Married2007 (Oct 11, 2020)

Young at Heart said:


> You need to understand that you can't change your H and he can't change you. You can work together to find a compromise that will work for your family and your marriage. You can figure out how you can create time for what you need.


 I understand that I can’t change my husband. I do not expect him to change nor do I want him to change. I just want to make him happy but feel like he puts high expectations on me that I can’t live up to.


Young at Heart said:


> Can you find time for date nights with each other, even if it is just going for a walk, hand in hand?


We definitely make time for this but he’s not happy unless it sexual. If it does not involve sex then it’s more of a burden than a good time. If we get home really late and I’m tired and not really wanting to have sex it almost puts more of a strain on us. He’s disappointed and doesn’t feel “rewarded”. 


Young at Heart said:


> If you have tried talking to him and the two of you haven't compromised on solutions, you might spend some time with a marriage counselor. The can be expensive, but much less expensive than two divorce attorneys.


This may sound like an excuse but we literally have no time for this. I’m a provider that works M-F 8-5. He works week days and isn’t home. School, practices and life.... I know excuse, excuse and excuse.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Your libido and sexual performance are fine. Probably even exemplary. You are exhausted and overworked. 

If your H wants to be a play'a and stud boy, he should have remained single and spent his time and energies and money at the clubs and for sugar babies etc instead of marrying and having 4 kids. 
He's barking up a wrong tree. You can't run a mother into the ground day after day and expect to live a porn lifestyle. 

If he wants to have that kind of sex life, he is going to have to have a stable of several childless, single women. Wives and mothers taking care of a home and kids simply don't have that kind of time and energy. 

Give him the options of either backing off significantly and becoming an involved and participating husband and father in the home and appreciating some intimate interaction on weekend when he has helped get the house and kids in order so you have some time and energy, or divorcing and paying child support and see how many chicks he's able to hook up with when he is paying child support on 4 kids.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You're not obligated to become the sex obsessed person your husband is. Be who you are and do what you are comfortable doing. He sounds like he has an obsession. 

Be reasonable but you don't need to cave into his demands. You will only end up resenting him if you do more than you're comfortable doing. 

It wouldn't surprise me if he hasn't already cheating with someone or seeing prostitutes or something because he sounds so preoccupied with it.


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## Married2007 (Oct 11, 2020)

oldshirt said:


> see how many chicks he's able to hook up with when he is paying child support on 4 kids.


This is the reason I believe he hasn’t left me. He’s afraid of child support. He says it’s because he “loves” me so much but honestly if I said he could leave and not have to worry about child support he would be gone.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

It's a simple mismatch....In reality there are likely some women that may love to be on the same page and indulge in the same sexual proclivities.. Unfortunately you aren't one, and I doubt this will end well.....That's no knock on you, btw...About the only scenario you can hope for is that his drive or libido tanks...I doubt either you or him will ever get to a point where you are on an even footing...
My advise is just be who you are and don't be compelled to give in...You have a lot on your plate without having to worry about this too...If he values you and his family more than what he thinks is his ideal sex life situation or perhaps with some therapy comes around, but IME these people rarely change...

I wish you well..


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Married2007 said:


> This is the reason I believe he hasn’t left me. He’s afraid of child support. He says it’s because he “loves” me so much but honestly if I said he could leave and not have to worry about child support he would be gone.


I think you need to show him what the realities of divorce will be. 50% division of assets and properties. possible spousal support if his income is significantly higher than yours. But what I think he fears as much if not more than child support is many jurisdictions are doing default joint custody unless there are mitigating factors such as one parent being deemed unfit or a danger to the children. He doesn't want to pay child support but he probably wants them in his house on his own even less. 

He wants to be a play'a but that is not really feasible for him on his own and so he is trying to make you into his concubine. 

It's time to put on your big girl panties and show him in no uncertain terms that he either becomes a responsible and respectful partner and parent and have a functional, yet realistic, marital sex life, or you will divorce him and he will be half time dad on his own half the time and probably paying some spousal and child support the other half - and how much of a porn and play'a lifestyle will he be leading then?

He's not going to see the light after just a few conversations. My suggestions is consult a divorce attorney and have the papers drawn up and have in writing what you will be asking for in a divorce and have in black and white what his obligations would likely be. 

My guess is that he probably does love you, but he simply has completely unrealistic hopes and fantasies and has lost touch with reality with all the porn and sex chats. He needs to be brought down to reality and it will likely take looking at divorce papers in black in white and the very real possibility of divorce to shake him back into reality.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I will also warn that he has probably hooked up with some of these women. His compulsion seems further than what watching too much porn would do or swapping pics and sex chats on the internet would do. 

He has likely experienced the intensity of affair sex with a single woman that isn't distracted by 10,000 other things going on and now is somewhat obsessed with chasing that intensity. 

If you were to hire a PI to do a forensic investigation of his phone and computers etc or follow him etc, I would be the farm that they will find that he has in fact been with other people. 

You will need to decide if you even want to remain with him once you find out.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Married2007 said:


> . I just want to make him happy but feel like he puts high expectations on me that I can’t live up to.


You can't live up to his expectations because you are not a young, single, sexpot that has no other responsibilities or things to do. 

You are a grown woman and mother with responsibilities and a myriad of things demanding your time and energies. 

You are not denying him or rejecting him so this is not sexless marriage situation where one party is chronically denying and rejecting the other.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Your husband sounds like a real azz.

Sex isn’t a reward, it is something enjoyed by two people, husband and wife in this case. You are not enjoying it it sounds like. Your husband needs to help you by helping you get some rest.

I am not saying your not beautiful they way you are. Is your weight unhealthy for you? My sister gained quite a bit after she had her three, it was unhealthy for her. She finally made time to start working out and lost it. She had more energy and felt and looked great. She just felt better overall.


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## maree (Jun 13, 2011)

Tell him that he can get more sex if he hires a housekeeper and/or part time nanny to come in and help you when he is out of town and then also he needs to take on at least half of childcare and home duties when he is at home. You arent able to have a libido when you are dead tired, working full time with 4 kids and doing everything you do it is no wonder you dont want to have sex.

Also one word of caution I would never post any nude online, you never know where that picture could end up.


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## hairyhead (Oct 30, 2015)

WandaJ said:


> You work full time, have four young children that you take care of all by yourself, and still have sex twice a week?
> You are a hero,lady. The only thing that’s wrong with you is you are too nice


I am a man and reasonably HD.

I totally agree with WandaJ.

He is being unreasonable with his expectations.

Sent from my CPH1979 using Tapatalk


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Married2007 said:


> I am looking for advice about my marriage. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have 4 small children. My husband says that our sexual relationship is terrible and that it’s my fault. I agree with him that I am not as sexual as him. I don’t need as much sex as him. I don’t think about sex all the time like him. He watches porn frequently. He’s a part of groups that people send nude pictures and videos of themselves on there. I try not to let it bother me.... but that can’t be normal?!?!? He says things on women’s pictures like “It doesn’t get any more beautiful than that.” He says other women are beautiful and gorgeous. He wants me to take and post pictures of my self but I am an overweight mom of 4. Nobody wants to see that 🤦🏼‍♀️ We have sex 1-2+ times a week. He says it’s not enough. We usually have sex in the mornings because I am extremely tired in the evenings. We have twins that are 4 and literally take all my energy. He complains that we don’t have sex in the evenings. He says it’s not long enough when we do have sex and that I’m basically just doing it to please him. It’s hard either evenings or mornings because the kids are constantly in/out of our bedroom. I don’t know what to do. I have talked to doctors about my low sex drive but there’s not anything they can do. They basically blame it on my extreme tiredness. I also work a full time job and my husband works on the road so he is gone for 3-4 days at a time.... leaving me the soul caregiver.... my husband bases his happiness on how much sexual attention he gets. We can have an excellent weekend but if he doesn’t get laid then he’s in an absolutely terrible mood and is pissed and says everything he works for is for nothing because he isn’t “rewarded” properly. But if he gets laid every night then he thinks it’s the best time ever. I’m lost and feel so frustrated. I know this is a lot so thanks for making it this far😩


I am not surprised that you arent so keen on having sex with him. The things that he does and says are appalling. Making you feel so terrible and 'less than'. I couldnt and wouldnt be with a man who acts that way.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Married2007 said:


> He’s disappointed and doesn’t feel “rewarded”.
> 
> This may sound like an excuse but we literally have no time for this. I’m a provider that works M-F 8-5. He works week days and isn’t home. School, practices and life.... I know excuse, excuse and excuse.


And your reward? What's that?

Re no time for counselling...honey you better make time. If your marriage is at risk, everything else, including the children's wants *MUST *come second to that. The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving marriage between their parents. The fallout from their parents divorce will affect them for life. Missing a few practices, while inconvenient for them, will not.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TJW said:


> I can empathize with that. I think my own happiness level is severely diminished by lack of sexual attention. And, sex is the only possible reward of marriage, to me, and to many other men.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I agree with what you say about porn, but what this man is doing is so much worse even than that.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Your husband is not normal and neither are his expectations. He wouldn't last a day working full-time and caring for 4 small children. Forget about taking sexy pics and sharing on the internet for his perverted pleasure - he is sick. Placing responsibility for all of his happiness on his penis isn't quite fair to that poor little feller; it's bound to fail him at some point and then what's he gonna do - give it a whipping? ha-ha


Oh, Blondie!

Aren't you the now, naughty one!

.......................................................

I agree, young children never tire of running you ragged. 

......................................................

M-07's husband is way out of bounds.

Her husband being on the road, 3 to 4 days a week, and being excessively horny is a big red flag. He is not to be trusted.

If he is anxious and willing to share naked pictures of his wife to strangers (and friends?) he is not husband material...at all. 

He has no respect for the sanctity of marriage, for the sanctity of his life partner.

*Porn has destroyed his dignity.*

..........................................................

My advice is to _read him the riot act_. 
He needs to act as a husband, and not as a would-be pimp. 

If he refuses, or if he can't find it in himself to change, he needs to leave.
Then, divorce the satyr.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> Porn has destroyed his dignity.


Agreed.... but, please let it be only HIS dignity.

I didn't speak to it in my first post, but I don't blame you for not wanting sex with him. Not one bit. I wouldn't, either, if I were in your shoes.
I think you have the right to end this marriage, if you choose....



SunCMars said:


> the satyr




not only ears and tail, he's a complete horse's a$$.....


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Married2007 said:


> This is the reason I believe he hasn’t left me. He’s afraid of child support. He says it’s because he “loves” me so much but honestly if I said he could leave and not have to worry about child support he would be gone.


I think that's the main reason a lot of men don't leave. I don't know where you live but if you're in the US he's going to end up with 50/50 custody anyway and then there won't be any extra child support because he'll be doing his part. And if it comes to that you should insist on 50/50 custody so that you have just as much a leisure time or time to work or have a social life as he does. it sounds to me like he just assumes he's going to dump the kids on you if he does leave but that he doesn't want to pay you to take care of them. if he knew he would likely have to take care of them half the time himself that would probably really surprise him.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Married2007 said:


> I am looking for advice about my marriage.


For some reason after reading this thread I am reminded of this documentary about a prostitute. She explained that it was extremely difficult to maintain having sex repeatedly everyday with a lot of clients and that she often felt as if she was going to wear herself out (down there). Eventually she stumbled upon a trick. While in doggy style position she would reach down to help guide her clients penis into her vagina, except this is what he thought was happening. In reality she was just guiding him into her hand and allowing him to get a well-lubed handjob from between her thighs. She claimed that virtually no man could tell the difference and they were all happy and kept coming back for more. 

This documentary was professionally done and did not include a demonstration of that technique. If it did, perhaps it could have been part of a series of candid camera pranks on how to screw a man and make him happy.

I know this information is likely not helpful. But perhaps there are some out-of-the-box ideas that this may help inspire. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

badsanta said:


> She claimed that virtually no man could tell the difference and they were all happy and kept coming back for more.


Colour me sceptical.

For that to be true, virtually all of her clients must have never put their penis in a vagina before. Since different vaginas, rectums and mouths feel nothing like a hand does, whether it is lubricated or otherwise.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Married2007 said:


> I’m lost and feel so frustrated.


... I felt angry on your behalf just reading your post!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

And... really, the thread title ought to be 'Wife holding down a FT job with 4 kids, need more support, rest, and caring from husband' ... that's my polite version, anyway.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think that's the main reason a lot of men don't leave. I don't know where you live but if you're in the US he's going to end up with 50/50 custody anyway and then there won't be any extra child support because he'll be doing his part. And if it comes to that you should insist on 50/50 custody so that you have just as much a leisure time or time to work or have a social life as he does. it sounds to me like he just assumes he's going to dump the kids on you if he does leave but that he doesn't want to pay you to take care of them. if he knew he would likely have to take care of them half the time himself that would probably really surprise him.


This is what I was attempting to say but was having a lot of trouble finding the words to say it. 

It's not that he wants the family to remain intact so bad he's willing to stay. It's that he doesn't want to have the kids underfoot by himself half the time and doesn't want to pay anything for them.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Personal said:


> Colour me sceptical.
> 
> For that to be true, virtually all of her clients must have never put their penis in a vagina before. Since different vaginas, rectums and mouths feel nothing like a hand does, whether it is lubricated or otherwise.


Or most likely very drunk and/or on drugs. If the story is even true, I am assuming she was not catering to high-end, enlightened clientele.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

oldshirt said:


> Or most likely very drunk and/or on drugs. If the story is even true, I am assuming she was not catering to high-end, enlightened clientele.


I meant that post to perhaps playfully illustrate to the OP that it may be possible to give a spouse sex without actually having both people go all the way. There are a lot of ways for sex to be a one-sided session and mutually enjoyable with some creativity.

As for men thinking they are having penetration but only getting a handjob, here is the documentary (used to be included on Amazon Prime) @ the 7 minute and 20 seconds mark which I cued up for anyone interested:


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

badsanta said:


> As for men thinking they are having penetration but only getting a handjob,


Sadly it isn't a revelation that lots of men, are mediocre to poor sexual partners.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

Your husband is acting like a child. He doesn't need to be rewarded for carrying his weight for the household, and you certainly shouldn't have sex held over your head as something he earned. You have four kids, two being twins. That is a LOT on your plate!

If he wants more cookie, then he needs to put you in the mood and put in the effort to get you ready to go. If you're always talking about being tired, he should have half a brain to arrange a child-free weekend if he is wanting more sex. 

How entitled of him! Plenty of married people only have sex 1-2 times a week when young kids are in the picture. Id love more action than that, but our 2-year-old is a lunatic. This will pass, but he needs to buck up.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Full time job , 4 children you look after, and your having normal amounts of sex.

You deserve an award. 🥇


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## Skiguy31 (Oct 13, 2020)

Sorry you're in this situation. Sex twice a week with 4 kids,he should count his lucky stars. Hopefully you're sexually satisfied.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

moulinyx said:


> Your husband is acting like a child. He doesn't need to be rewarded for carrying his weight for the household, and you certainly shouldn't have sex held over your head as something he earned. You have four kids, two being twins. That is a LOT on your plate!
> 
> If he wants more cookie, then he needs to put you in the mood and put in the effort to get you ready to go. If you're always talking about being tired, he should have half a brain to arrange a child-free weekend if he is wanting more sex.
> 
> How entitled of him! Plenty of married people only have sex 1-2 times a week when young kids are in the picture. Id love more action than that, but our 2-year-old is a lunatic. This will pass, but he needs to buck up.


Kindly, every part of this response is all kinds of defensive for the W, when in every problem and solution it takes two to tango in all cases.

No, it's not impossible to have a happy sex life with kids.

With one 2 two year old? Easy. 
Two children, no problem. Have personally done it.

3 or more? If both spouses are committed to putting their relationship in top tier of priorities there will be enough waxing and waning of frequencies max to min per week that both spouses will be happy.

No one should feel like they're earning sex or rewarding with sex, that will breed slow resentment.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

badsanta said:


> I meant that post to perhaps playfully illustrate to the OP that it may be possible to give a spouse sex without actually having both people go all the way. There are a lot of ways for sex to be a one-sided session and mutually enjoyable with some creativity.
> 
> As for men thinking they are having penetration but only getting a handjob, here is the documentary (used to be included on Amazon Prime) @ the 7 minute and 20 seconds mark which I cued up for anyone interested:


Good grief! Doesn't the Netherlands have some sort of social security or safety net for the elderly? That woman should have retired thirty years ago.

Yeah, I'll cop to age discrimination.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Like alot of guys i get in bad mood when it is awhile between i times. When wife and my kids were small i understood she was busy. I was there also diapers, laundry and all the yardwork myself. She had alot on her plate as did i. One day i was upset and she asked why so i told her. She said "We just had sex the other day!" Uhhh no....it was 13 days ago...she did not realize it had been that long. Being someone whos LL is touch i was fealing pretty well abandoned. He is being a jerk with the porn and other crap. Just saying might verify it is 1-2× week. My wife so preoccupied with other things her "other day" was actually almost 2 weeks prior and she did not realize it.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

Married2007 said:


> I am looking for advice about my marriage. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have 4 small children. My husband says that our sexual relationship is terrible and that it’s my fault. I agree with him that I am not as sexual as him. I don’t need as much sex as him. I don’t think about sex all the time like him. He watches porn frequently. He’s a part of groups that people send nude pictures and videos of themselves on there. I try not to let it bother me.... but that can’t be normal?!?!? He says things on women’s pictures like “It doesn’t get any more beautiful than that.” He says other women are beautiful and gorgeous. He wants me to take and post pictures of my self but I am an overweight mom of 4. Nobody wants to see that 🤦🏼‍♀️ We have sex 1-2+ times a week. He says it’s not enough. We usually have sex in the mornings because I am extremely tired in the evenings. We have twins that are 4 and literally take all my energy. He complains that we don’t have sex in the evenings. He says it’s not long enough when we do have sex and that I’m basically just doing it to please him. It’s hard either evenings or mornings because the kids are constantly in/out of our bedroom. I don’t know what to do. I have talked to doctors about my low sex drive but there’s not anything they can do. They basically blame it on my extreme tiredness. I also work a full time job and my husband works on the road so he is gone for 3-4 days at a time.... leaving me the soul caregiver.... my husband bases his happiness on how much sexual attention he gets. We can have an excellent weekend but if he doesn’t get laid then he’s in an absolutely terrible mood and is pissed and says everything he works for is for nothing because he isn’t “rewarded” properly. But if he gets laid every night then he thinks it’s the best time ever. I’m lost and feel so frustrated. I know this is a lot so thanks for making it this far😩


Why do you stay with this very disrespectful individual. I think my sex drive would entirely disappear if I had to endure the words you listen too. Find another that respects you and does not spend time in fantasy porn land.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

The OP isn't coming back but I still wanted to say she married a complete PIG.

I would have kicked his worthless ass out of the house so hard and so fast I would have had to FedEx his shadow to him the next day.

Why on EARTH women put up with such low value degenerates is a mystery to me.


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